NationStates Jolt Archive

In a recent conversation, the subject of first date etiquette came up, and so I wanted some feedback from NSG. Anal. Okay on a first date? Or something you save for the second date? Would you bring it up soon? Is that a faux pas?

What about other activities? Is there some 'magic number' of dates before you get really kinky with someone? I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Ninth?

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?


Edit: "Date" just may be a euphemism for sleeping with, depending on your viewpoint.

but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss?

Never ever.

How about NEVER... does never works for you?

You just grossed me out.

But I guess all depends on who are you dating.

In a recent conversation, the subject of first date etiquette came up, and so I wanted some feedback from NSG. Anal. Okay on a first date? Or something you save for the second date? Would you bring it up soon? Is that a faux pas?

What about other activities? Is there some 'magic number' of dates before you get really kinky with someone? I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Ninth?

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?

I think with you, I'd do anything on the first date.

:eek::p


-hopes GoG doesn't read this-

Never ever.

Well you can substitute some other activity.

In a recent conversation, the subject of first date etiquette came up, and so I wanted some feedback from NSG. Anal. Okay on a first date? Or something you save for the second date? Would you bring it up soon? Is that a faux pas?

What about other activities? Is there some 'magic number' of dates before you get really kinky with someone? I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Ninth?

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?

I don't think that I would personally bring anal up on a first date, but were it brought up, I certainly wouldn't feel uncomfortable, or consider it a faux pas.
As far as magic numbers, I tend to just play things by ear, given that it tends to differ from person to person. What might be acceptable on a first date with one person might be something another person would wait a few dates to bring up/do

I have never played by hard fast rules. Often times what makes something a date as opposed to not a date seems to be if I try for the good night kiss. For me it is mostly just things seem to fall in place and a month or two later we assume we are dating.

Some people don't have sex on the first date.

How about NEVER... does never works for you?

You just grossed me out.

But I guess all depends on who are you dating.

Ok, I can see the aversion to urinating on your partner, but are you saying never ever to anal too?

Is that really a 'taboo' still?

Well you can substitute some other activity.Well, I suppose in that case the magic number would be 0.

Some people don't have sex on the first date.
So no anal on the first date.

Some people don't have sex on the first date.

Where are you from? The 1950s? :p

So no anal on the first date.

Anal doesn't count as sex silly! :p

Well, I suppose in that case the magic number would be 0.

Sexual activity. With another person. Not like sweeping the stoop.

Dork.

Ok, I can see the aversion to urinating on your partner, but are you saying never ever to anal too?

Is that really a 'taboo' still?

For lots of people it still is. How many dates would it take you to find out your partners taboos like you say.

Anal. Okay on a first date?

Depends on a lot of things.

Anal doesn't count as sex silly! :p

This is one of the many reasons I love you.

Ok, I can see the aversion to urinating on your partner, but are you saying never ever to anal too?

Is that really a 'taboo' still?

Does it have to be taboo for someone to be uninterested? I've discussed anal plenty of times, sometimes with people who loved it. It's just not something I'm really interested in trying. =)

As for your original question, I never even got topless on a first date. I also didn't really "date" much. So I don't really know. I don't think sex would ever have been in the cards for me for a first date, though.

Ok, I can see the aversion to urinating on your partner,
Do you enjoy that?

Is that really a 'taboo' still?
Nah..I wouldn't call it a "taboo"...just that some girls enjoy it and some girls wouldn't even want to try it.

Almost all guys I know would be down for it, though.

(This is all concerning heterosexual activity, mind you)

For lots of people it still is. How many dates would it take you to find out your partners taboos like you say.

Usually I find those things out over lunch.

Anal. Okay on a first date?

I've heard of it working but as a guy...I think if you pulled out a strap on I'd wonder what else you have planned for the night (it is a workday no less)

Would you bring it up soon?

I'd wait 2 weeks at least

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?

I'm a guy

Sexual activity. With another person. Not like sweeping the stoop.

Dork.That's what I meant. None of my sexual activities have been preceeded by dates. In fact, I have been on less dates than there are women I've slept with. Ergo, I don't need to go out on a date with someone to get kinky with them.

Do you enjoy that?
Don't you?

faux pas?
Unprotected sex.


Just what are you comfortable with, and when?
2nd Amendment-protected public nonconsensual anal sex, anytime dark.

Don't you?
No, to be honest, though I've never tried it.

('Cuz I know some fool is gonna say "but you've never tried it so how do you know!"):rolleyes::p

Usually I find those things out over lunch.

Really? Are you sure?... has it never happened to you that you grossed out someone on a date?

Unprotected sex.



2nd Amendment-protected public nonconsensual anal sex, anytime dark.

What does the right to bear arms have to do with sex on a first date?

Or are you developing an entirely new definition of "minuteman"? :D

Do you enjoy that? No idea, never tried it.


Nah..I wouldn't call it a "taboo"...just that some girls enjoy it and some girls wouldn't even want to try it.

Almost all guys I know would be down for it, though.

(This is all concerning heterosexual activity, mind you)

Pffft.

Really? Are you sure?... has it never happened to you that you grossed out someone on a date?

I figure it's better to gross them out on the first date than on the 20th or whatever.

I had like way more first dates than I did second dates.......if you can't hang with me without puking then it's best to find out early.

That's what I meant. None of my sexual activities have been preceeded by dates. In fact, I have been on less dates than there are women I've slept with. Ergo, I don't need to go out on a date with someone to get kinky with them.

Ah, okay gotcha. I think it's sort of funny to call hook-ups 'dates' and I've had more hook-ups than dates. So you hook-up for the first time...what are you comfortable suggesting?

I figure it's better to gross them out on the first date than on the 20th or whatever.

I had like way more first dates than I did second dates.......if you can't hang with me without puking then it's best to find out early.

You can always wait for the diamond wedding to gross them out. :p

Really? Are you sure?... has it never happened to you that you grossed out someone on a date?

Never grossed someone out...but did shock some. I've asked to be hit, or bitten etc and that's weirded some people out. Usually I didn't sleep with them again after that.

What does the right to bear arms have to do with sex on a first date?
Guarantees it, if you really want it.

Never grossed someone out...but did shock some. I've asked to be hit, or bitten etc and that's weirded some people out. Usually I didn't sleep with them again after that.

Well I guess its better to ask than to assume things... and bite people who don't like to be bitten. :mad:

Guarantees it, if you really want it.

Discussions of non-consensual sex acts not welcome thanks.

"date", pft, what an outdated concept. Generally women break down into two catagories. "women who I like having sex with" and "women whose company I enjoy when we're not having sex".

If you meet both, we're dating. If you meet one but not the other, you're either a friend, or someone to fuck, depending on where you deficiency lies.

"date", pft, what an outdated concept. Generally women break down into two catagories. "women who I like having sex with" and "women whose company I enjoy when we're not having sex".

If you meet both, we're dating.

I agree....but I add men in there as well.

Still not sure I'd call it 'dating' though. Dating is such a strange term.

Times have changed. My best advice is just to be yourself, be comfortable, and all this stuff sort of opens up. If you're comfortable with it, go with it, if not, well, just say no. There is no definitive book on relationships, because each relationship is different.
There are two types of relationship: either those where you love them, or those where they love you. Once in a million, you hit the relationship under both headings-cling to that one, because it lasts until death.
Hope this helps

Rather than concern myself with the possibility of raising an uncomfortable subject during a conversation, I prefer to just give my dates a brief survey indicating their sexual boundaries. They receive their results in the mail in just 4-6 weeks, and the process of setting their pants ablaze with the passions of love can begin shortly afterward, following a simple, but requisite, compatibility analysis.

The process is tedious, but all of my post-copulation surveys indicate that the end result is very nearly worth the wait.

Rather than concern myself with the possibility of raising an uncomfortable subject during a conversation, I prefer to just give my dates a brief survey indicating their sexual boundaries. They receive their results in the mail in just 4-6 weeks, and the process of setting their pants ablaze with the passions of love can begin shortly afterward, following a simple, but requisite, compatibility analysis.

The process is tedious, but all of my post-copulation surveys indicate that the end result is very nearly worth the wait.

Gold.

Rather than concern myself with the possibility of raising an uncomfortable subject during a conversation, I prefer to just give my dates a brief survey indicating their sexual boundaries. They receive their results in the mail in just 4-6 weeks, and the process of setting their pants ablaze with the passions of love can begin shortly afterward, following a simple, but requisite, compatibility analysis.

The process is tedious, but all of my post-copulation surveys indicate that the end result is very nearly worth the wait.

And when you get out of your mom's basement, tell me how this works

Why does there even have to be a date? Anal with a stranger is fine with me. Fisting on the other hand.... maybe after a few golden showers.

Why does there even have to be a date? Anal with a stranger is fine with me. Fisting on the other hand.... maybe after a few golden showers.

Liar.

Fisting comes after anal. Clearly.

Why does there even have to be a date? Anal with a stranger is fine with me. Fisting on the other hand.... maybe after a few golden showers.
http://generalitemafia.ipbfree.com/uploads/ipbfree.com/generalitemafia/emo-sleazygrinvp9.png

Do you enjoy that? I forgot to add that I would totally be willing to piss on you.

And when you get out of your mom's basement, tell me how this works

It works quite well, thanks!

Liar.

Fisting comes after anal. Clearly.

Then, I guess we know what happens the next time you visit.

http://generalitemafia.ipbfree.com/uploads/ipbfree.com/generalitemafia/emo-sleazygrinvp9.png

:p


I forgot to add that I would totally be willing to piss on you.

I'll join you :D

Discussions of non-consensual sex acts not welcome thanks.
But it is, in part, a discussion of them.


I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Nin
If you do it without discussion, but they take it, there are two ways. Either you really were in the right to assume they wanted it, or they decided to tolerate it to keep the relationship (or because they're already piss-stained anyway). And it brings the question of where does the line lie between consensual behavior and the partner "taking it" because having nine dates should entitle you to that.

I forgot to add that I would totally be willing to piss on you.
I bet you would. You're such a charmer.

If she orders the lobster, she gets it in the pooper.

I'm still waiting for my wife to order the lobster.

Honestly, I'm not too keen on the whole sex idea, and I'm a little imperceptive, so I probably wouldn't even realise I was on a date, thinking I'm just having a nice meal or going to the cinema. So, yes, probably a large number of comically misunderstood 'dates' with no final outcome, methinks:p

A decent first date should end like any decent party: With one person naked and wandering around a total stranger's front yard looking for a sock. *nod*

If she orders the lobster, she gets it in the pooper.

I'm still waiting for my wife to order the lobster.

you did tell her about that arraingement... right?

But it is, in part, a discussion of them.

If you do it without discussion, but they take it, there are two ways. Either you really were in the right to assume they wanted it, or they decided to tolerate it to keep the relationship (or because they're already piss-stained anyway). And it brings the question of where does the line lie between consensual behavior and the partner "taking it" because having nine dates should entitle you to that.
Sorry...but there should be no confusion, no grey area. Not in this day and age.

Consent needs to be explicit. If you just go ahead and 'do' something, you're a complete idiot and quite possibly engaging in sexual assault.

This was never a discussion of non-consensual acts.

I bet you would. You're such a charmer.
Danke.

The question is whether you'd enjoy it as much as I would.

am I the only one to see a "Toys-R-Us" ad in this thread about first dates? :eek:

Sorry...but there should be no confusion, no grey area. Not in this day and age.
Consent needs to be explicit.
Ah. I assumed you meant, "After which date does it no longer require a discussion".


Well, then, the question becomes strange IMHO... On the first date where you discuss sex at all, of course. Either a person is a pervert or not. If they are, you might actually *need* to act on it to have them enjoy it. If they aren't, having 2 talks or 5 dates or 10 straight nights won't turn them into one.

you did tell her about that arraingement... right?

No. Have you seen the price of lobster lately? :p

Ah. I assumed you meant, "After which date does it no longer require a discussion". No.


Well, then, the question becomes strange IMHO... On the first date where you discuss sex at all, of course. Either a person is a pervert or not. If they are, you might actually *need* to act on it to have them enjoy it. If they aren't, having 2 talks or 5 dates or 10 straight nights won't turn them into one.
Are you going to introduce all your perversion on the first date? Generally people don't like to reveal all there is to know about them that quickly, which is why I'm asking. There's the 'courting' phase...feeling people out...not wanting to freak them out perhaps. One might suspect, if you brought up anal on the first date, that date number two is going to be even more wild. Which might be good, or bad, depending on your perspective.

I didn't mean talking about it all every time...I meant when would you feel comfortable bringing it up? How well would you have to know someone?

Are you going to introduce all your perversion on the first date? [...]
I didn't mean talking about it all every time...I meant when would you feel comfortable bringing it up? How well would you have to know someone?
Depends on whether it's a long-term interest of not purely sexual nature or just a short-term pickup.

In the former case, I don't even bring sex up on the first date. I mean in the sense of just talking about it. And on the second only bring it up in a context, not sledgehammer style.

In the latter case, first date all the way. You know you won't settle for the bullsrun, so knowing each other's kinks and perversions is exactly what knowing about each other is about in this case.


I'm personally mostly a traditionalist, though (and no, I won't be listing here all the minor and common kinks I have, but note the term "kinks" and not "perversions"; I count buttcocks among the latter), so perhaps that question was never that touchy for me. Or, rather, it boils down to simply making sure the date doesn't have perversions I'd be uncomfortable with.

Depends on whether it's a long-term interest of not purely sexual nature or just a short-term pickup.

In the former case, I don't even bring sex up on the first date, I mean in the sense of just talking about it.

In the latter case, first date all the way. You know you won't settle for the bullsrun, so knowing each other's kinks and perversions is exactly what knowing about each other is about in this case.

I generally like to know people's kinks up front...but you don't always know what people are into because they might not have tried it before, or have any experience, so that's not always possible. Also, there's not always time to 'discuss' anything before you're rolling around all sweaty and nekkid.

Danke.

The question is whether you'd enjoy it as much as I would.
I seriously doubt that, given both your sexuality and your, feelings towards me.

Are you going to introduce all your perversion on the first date? Generally people don't like to reveal all there is to know about them that quickly, which is why I'm asking. There's the 'courting' phase...feeling people out...not wanting to freak them out perhaps. One might suspect, if you brought up anal on the first date, that date number two is going to be even more wild. Which might be good, or bad, depending on your perspective.

I didn't mean talking about it all every time...I meant when would you feel comfortable bringing it up? How well would you have to know someone?

If those perversions are enough of a 'deal-breaker' in the relationship to warrant its discontinuation, then you might as well. Why invest a bunch of time, energy and resources into someone, only to find out later on that you're not going to be compatible?

I, personally, would probably never feel comfortable bringing up the issue of buttsecks (due to my prudish nature); however, anything that was important enough to me (for example, children) I had no problem bringing up. Maybe it's embarrassing, maybe it compromises the future of the relationship. But if it's important on the 10th date, it's important on the first.

Your first question on any date should be "Do you know what a 'beso negro' is?"

I, personally, would probably never feel comfortable bringing up the issue of buttsecks (due to my prudish nature); however, anything that was important enough to me (for example, children) I had no problem bringing up. Maybe it's embarrassing, maybe it compromises the future of the relationship. But if it's important on the 10th date, it's important on the first.

Wait...you'd bring up the idea of having kids on the first date...but not buttsecks?

Insane.

I seriously doubt that, give both your sexuality and your, feelings towards me.

As long as you'd be okay with me enjoying it more.

Wait...you'd bring up the idea of having kids on the first date...but not buttsecks?

Insane.

The former is (was) important to me. The latter, not so much.

The former is (was) important to me. The latter, not so much.

I'm assuming you're not talking about a casual hook-up then :D

The former is (was) important to me. The latter, not so much.

which is good because, given my understanding of biology, one precludes the other.

which is good because, given my understanding of biology, one precludes the other.

^ ^
:p

which is good because, given my understanding of biology, one precludes the other.

Huh. Have I been doing it wrong all this time? :p

I'm assuming you're not talking about a casual hook-up then :D

Well, I wouldn't consider a casual hook-up a 'date' in the courting sense of the word. So, no.

A date is a job interview.

A hook-up is a job.

Or something like that.

I generally like to know people's kinks up front...but you don't always know what people are into because they might not have tried it before, or have any experience, so that's not always possible.
Well, then they aren't into it. So if you want it, you bring it up... before doing it.

Also, there's not always time to 'discuss' anything before you're rolling around all sweaty and nekkid.
Well, I don't live in San Francisco or something, but in a less sex-revolutionized area. So it's customary to first learn each other's names and then the organs, not vice versa. Plus, I also keep to the position that you shouldn't do something unusual that wasn't discussed first. Having the luck of being able to get a good orgasm while staying relatively unstained, I'd better keep it to the basics in that situation.

Often times what makes something a date as opposed to not a date seems to be if I try for the good night kiss.
Some people don't have sex on the first date.Where are you from? The 1950s? :p
If she orders the lobster, she gets it in the pooper.

You know, we could assemble a NSG pricelist.

Kiss - A talk
Blowjob - A visit to the movies
C-ntsex - A date in a restaurant
Buttsex - A lobster
Goldshower - A keg of beer
Creampie - A creampie

What can I do in exchange for sharing an eightball of good coke?

In a recent conversation, the subject of first date etiquette came up, and so I wanted some feedback from NSG. Anal. Okay on a first date? Or something you save for the second date? Would you bring it up soon? Is that a faux pas?

What about other activities? Is there some 'magic number' of dates before you get really kinky with someone? I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Ninth?

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?

It depends on the people involved. Some might be perfectly comfortable with it. One has to go with one's hunches and observations really.

On our first date, my now girlfriend and I didn't do anything but hold hands. Even kissing was not for quite some time after that, and we only got up to activities that involve getting naked much later.

As to sexual activities involving urine... I don't think she'd be into that... like ever. Which is why it really depends on who you're dating more than anything else. Some people might actually really be into getting peed on/peeing on you. Just like some might never want to do anal, ever, and some might think it's a great idea on the first date.

In a recent conversation, the subject of first date etiquette came up, and so I wanted some feedback from NSG. Anal. Okay on a first date? Or something you save for the second date? Would you bring it up soon? Is that a faux pas?

What about other activities? Is there some 'magic number' of dates before you get really kinky with someone? I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Ninth?

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?

I'm not sure I've ever actually 'dated' as such, thinking about it.

On the other hand, I'm comfortable talking about sex and sexuality just as conversation, so it's unlikely I'd get to a 'first date' situation witha partner and he'she not have a pretty good idea already where my parameters are.

Basically, so long as the main checkpoints (partners must be: alive, human, adult, consenting) are met...

Sin, I think I love you.

Almost entirely for this thread. Almost.

Sin, I think I love you.

Almost entirely for this thread. Almost.

I do agree. This thread is made of awesome. Kinky, naked, sweaty awesome.

In a recent conversation, the subject of first date etiquette came up, and so I wanted some feedback from NSG. Anal. Okay on a first date? Or something you save for the second date? Would you bring it up soon? Is that a faux pas?

What about other activities? Is there some 'magic number' of dates before you get really kinky with someone? I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Ninth?

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?


Id imagine youd discuss all this with them whenever you have sex first, whenever that would be. I tend to discuss what my partner likes/what I like the first time we do it.

It might also be noted that if people haven't tried something before, their opinion of it might change.

In a recent conversation, the subject of first date etiquette came up, and so I wanted some feedback from NSG. Anal. Okay on a first date? Or something you save for the second date? Would you bring it up soon? Is that a faux pas? it really depends on your date.

if you met your date at a church function, or at a puritanical event, then chances are, you never bring up the idea of Anal sex. but if you met your date at an S&M party or (s)he says they work at a dungeon...

What about other activities? Is there some 'magic number' of dates before you get really kinky with someone? I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Ninth? again, it depends on what and who.

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?I suspect I'd be comfortable with alot of things.

It's strange, but what I would be comfortable doing and talking about, none of the people I'm interested in would. Sadly, it seems I have a thing for prudes :(

I mean, after a couple of months, one should be able to talk about oral sex, no? Seems my type don't want to talk about it. So it's straight vaginal sex, missionary style, for me or bust.

While I'd be quite happy bringing up sexual everything on a first date, etiquette demands a wait depending on the person.

Oh, and for the record, anal and golden showers are big no-nos for me I just don't find them appealing. Everything else is cool, methinks. Except bringing up children or marriage within the first year. Fisting, no problem. Why is that seen as kinky anyway? Surely it's just advanced fingering, with some extra lubrication required.

In a recent conversation, the subject of first date etiquette came up, and so I wanted some feedback from NSG. Anal. Okay on a first date? Or something you save for the second date? Would you bring it up soon? Is that a faux pas?

What about other activities? Is there some 'magic number' of dates before you get really kinky with someone? I mean, the whole 'first base, second base, third base' thing is definitely passe...but when is (for example) urinating on your partner something you'd discuss? Fifth date? Ninth?

Just what are you comfortable with, and when?
As always, it depends on the relative kink of the people involved. For some, anal will NEVER be on the table; for others, ten minutes after you've met is not soon enough.

It's strange, but what I would be comfortable doing and talking about, none of the people I'm interested in would. Sadly, it seems I have a thing for prudes :(

I mean, after a couple of months, one should be able to talk about oral sex, no? Seems my type don't want to talk about it. So it's straight vaginal sex, missionary style, for me or bust.

While I'd be quite happy bringing up sexual everything on a first date, etiquette demands a wait depending on the person.

Oh, and for the record, anal and golden showers are big no-nos for me. As is bringing up children or marriage within the first year. Fisting, no problem. Why is that seen as kinky anyway? Surely it's just advanced fingering, with some extra lubrication required.

I dunno, for some reason fisting seems more kinky to me than anal sex. Golden showers I would see as more kinky than either, though, and I wouldn't bring the subject up. I don't know if I would say "no" if my girlfriend suggested the idea, though. Especially if we were already engaged in activities that involved us being naked and sweaty.

Can I ask what a golden shower is?

I think it depends on the person, you ask these things when you are comfortable with it.

Can I ask what a golden shower is?

I think it depends on the person, you ask these things when you are comfortable with it.

A golden shower is when one partner urinates on the other. Or others, as the case may be.

As always, it depends on the relative kink of the people involved. For some, anal will NEVER be on the table; for others, ten minutes after you've met is not soon enough.

Anal on the table, Kat? Beds, rugs and the back of the couch not good enough?

This discussion makes me so queasy I'm on the verge of turning into a conservative :p

Anal on the table, Kat? Beds, rugs and the back of the couch not good enough?

Everyone knows that anal on the table is quite improper. The proper place for anal sex is the living room floor. Or the master bathroom.

Sin, I think I love you.

Almost entirely for this thread. Almost.Awww, well I'm a big fan of yours so :$

Id imagine youd discuss all this with them whenever you have sex first, whenever that would be. I tend to discuss what my partner likes/what I like the first time we do it.
Listen...there are people you know, and spend time with before you have sex with. You might have the opportunity for all sorts of sex-related conversations. Then there are people you meet at a pubcrawl and fuck senseless without even getting their name until the morning.

In the former situation, sure you might know what's "okay" and what's "don't go there" up front. In the latter situation, you need to play it by ear. In the latter situation, you have to ask yourself...should I bring up anal? Because it probably hasn't been discussed prior.

It might also be noted that if people haven't tried something before, their opinion of it might change.
Sooooooo, soooo true. There is a vast difference between "no fucking way, not interested, not happening"...which you simply have to respect...and "well, I don't know, maaaaybe..."...which you have to exploit.
it really depends on your date.

if you met your date at a church function, or at a puritanical event, then chances are, you never bring up the idea of Anal sex. For some of us, the likelihood of that scenario ever actually playing out is approaching a ridiculous level of improbability. but if you met your date at an S&M party or (s)he says they work at a dungeon... See, now that makes it sound like anal is just for the truly kinky, or the lifestylers. I think there has been a real shift in the past ten years or so. More people are willing to try it, or have tried it, and it's not such a taboo subject. In part, I'm sure that the 'mainstreaming' of anal sex in heterosexual porn has SOMETHING to do with it. I'm just not sure if it's a reflection of changing attitudes, or an actual force for said change.


It's strange, but what I would be comfortable doing and talking about, none of the people I'm interested in would. Sadly, it seems I have a thing for prudes :(

I mean, after a couple of months, one should be able to talk about oral sex, no? Seems my type don't want to talk about it. So it's straight vaginal sex, missionary style, for me or bust. As Dan Savage says, these days, oral should come standard. I'm not a huge fan of receiving oral sex, but I'd be very, very unhappy with someone who was unwilling to give it to me.


Oh, and for the record, anal and golden showers are big no-nos for me I just don't find them appealing. Everything else is cool, methinks. Except bringing up children or marriage within the first year. Fisting, no problem. Why is that seen as kinky anyway? Surely it's just advanced fingering, with some extra lubrication required.
I guess it's perspective...most people I know who I consider mildly prudish MIGHT consider anal in certain situations (almost always involving a long term relationship), but shudder at the thought of fisting. There are these very silly ideas about the elasticity of the vagina, I think. As though you can 'wear it out'.

We can squeeze things the size of watermelons out of our vaginas, people. If there was any truth to the 'loose' myth, no one would ever again fuck a woman who has had children.
As always, it depends on the relative kink of the people involved. For some, anal will NEVER be on the table; for others, ten minutes after you've met is not soon enough.
Ten minutes after? Oh Kat...I want to meet some of YOUR friends!:eek:
I dunno, for some reason fisting seems more kinky to me than anal sex. Golden showers I would see as more kinky than either, though, and I wouldn't bring the subject up. I don't know if I would say "no" if my girlfriend suggested the idea, though. Especially if we were already engaged in activities that involved us being naked and sweaty.
I find it easier to quickly list what I'm not into and not willing to ever try.

Kids/deadpeople/animals/scat/non-consensual anything.

Think that about sums it up.

Everyone knows that anal on the table is quite improper. The proper place for anal sex is the living room floor. Or the master bathroom.

Nonsense - as long as your table is a wipe-clean surface and provides a modicum of grip.

I normally sort all this stuff out before the first date. All the discussions about anal sex, golden showers, masturbatory technique, preferred penetrative angle etc. normally are the preamble to arranging said date. Or preamble to a quizzical look and rapid exit.

I prefer first dates with no confusion.

Anal doesn't count as sex silly! :pIt is still sexual intercourse.:tongue:

For some of us, the likelihood of that scenario ever actually playing out is approaching a ridiculous level of improbability.

See, now that makes it sound like anal is just for the truly kinky, or the lifestylers. I think there has been a real shift in the past ten years or so. More people are willing to try it, or have tried it, and it's not such a taboo subject. In part, I'm sure that the 'mainstreaming' of anal sex in heterosexual porn has SOMETHING to do with it. I'm just not sure if it's a reflection of changing attitudes, or an actual force for said change.

I meant it more as to which date would be more open for a frank discussion about sexual activities and sexual preferences. not about the Kink factor. ;)

For some of us, the likelihood of that scenario ever actually playing out is approaching a ridiculous level of improbability.

That said, if I do find myself at a church function or puritanical event, I think I'm MORE likely to bring up anal...

This discussion makes me so queasy I'm on the verge of turning into a conservative :p

I don't mean to pick on you, and I shan't label you in any way, but I do want to point out that I do think there is still a live issue in the way that many people still are unable to openly talk about sex.

Now, it's not as though in being open about sex, that you suddenly have to start wearing buttless chaps and barking like a dog. However, sexual incompatibility is a HUGE issue in relationships, no matter how much we pretend that sort of thing is shallow, or less important than other factors.

As well, a general shyness to discuss sex can often cause a shyness to be assertive about your sexual health. I STILL come across people who think that it's okay to fuck relative strangers without a condom. It's one thing if you've considered the risk, and decided to do it anyway...it's quite another if you're getting hot and heavy and haven't really figured out how to insist.

What pisses me off more than anything, however, are people who have an STI, who do not disclose. Now, generally if you have an STI, it's been treated, and it's not a live issue. I don't think you have to give your entire sexual history...but if you have an STI that is NOT curable...herpes, HPV, etc...I don't care how much you're afraid you might not get fucked that night, you TELL.

It wouldn't be such a thing to fear, that disclosure, if more people were more educated on sexuality and sexual health.

That said, if I do find myself at a church function or puritanical event, I think I'm MORE likely to bring up anal...

Muahahhaha...."it's not really sex"...."condoms are a sin"....

Ok, I can see the aversion to urinating on your partner, but are you saying never ever to anal too?

Is that really a 'taboo' still?

Surely it depends on how the date is progressing.

You wouldn't come with it straight off the bat
Person1: Hi
Person2: Hey
Person1: You wanna have anal sex?

Surely it depends on how the date is progressing.

You wouldn't come with it straight off the bat
Person1: Hi
Person2: Hey
Person1: You wanna have anal sex?

You'd be surprised how often that actually works....

Anal on the table, Kat? Beds, rugs and the back of the couch not good enough?
Well, you know, relative heights and all.... ;)

Hey, but do your thing wherever you like so long as you're not trespassing... or being publicly lewd...

Muahahhaha...."it's not really sex"...."condoms are a sin"....

I was more thinking about the observation that - if you want a REALLY dirty girl, you pick one that has all the appearances of being REALLY religious... :D

Well, you know, relative heights and all.... ;)

Hey, but do your thing wherever you like so long as you're not trespassing... or being publicly lewd...

It's only public...or lewd...if you get caught. Like in the Fine Arts building. Or on a wooded path. All those other times were okay, because no one saw :P

I was more thinking about the observation that - if you want a REALLY dirty girl, you pick one that has all the appearances of being REALLY religious... :D

Is this a Zappa "Catholic School Girls" reference? :D

Sooooooo, soooo true. There is a vast difference between "no fucking way, not interested, not happening"...which you simply have to respect...and "well, I don't know, maaaaybe..."...which you have to exploit.
This is especially true when with someone who has had no prior experience whatsoever. This was true of both myself and my girlfriend started going out, though I at least knew about things and the general idea of how they're done, partly because I'd been online for so long, and also because I hung out with more sexually experienced friends. Still, there's been a lot of trial and error.


As Dan Savage says, these days, oral should come standard. I'm not a huge fan of receiving oral sex, but I'd be very, very unhappy with someone who was unwilling to give it to me.
It should, but in some cases it doesn't. When I first described cunnilingus to my ladyfriend, she thought the idea was gross. Once I convinced her to at least try it once, her opinion changed remarkably.

I find it easier to quickly list what I'm not into and not willing to ever try.

Kids/deadpeople/animals/scat/non-consensual anything.

Think that about sums it up.
The problem is that I would have had to define what the things I'm not into all were. My girlfriend's parents sheltered her way too much, in my opinion. I mean, I'm a year older, but still, it was kinda shocking to me that she didn't know what eating out was at age eighteen. And of course, I'm always discovering new activities that people do in the bedroom, or elsewhere, many of which I can safely say without ever trying that I'm not into.

I'm really quite surprised that our relationship has lasted this long, since neither my ladyfriend nor myself had been in one before. We've gotten a lot more comfortable discussing what kind of sexual antics we'd like to try sometime in the nearly 4 years we've been going.

Is this a Zappa "Catholic School Girls" reference? :D

Kinda. That and the fact that - in my experience - Catholic Schoolgirls (preferably once they're not SCHOOLgirls, anymore - not my bag) are just waiting to fall, and fall hard. :)

You'd be surprised how often that actually works....

:tongue:

After now reading this thread it apears the term 'date' is also applying to hokking up with some random and yeah that would work quite a bit.

Surely it depends on how the date is progressing.

You wouldn't come with it straight off the bat
Person1: Hi
Person2: Hey
Person1: You wanna have anal sex?

Despite how awesome that would be if it worked.

Some people don't have sex on the first date.Sometimes it's really worth it. Sometimes it's not.

The problem is that I would have had to define what the things I'm not into all were. My girlfriend's parents sheltered her way too much, in my opinion. I mean, I'm a year older, but still, it was kinda shocking to me that she didn't know what eating out was at age eighteen. And of course, I'm always discovering new activities that people do in the bedroom, or elsewhere, many of which I can safely say without ever trying that I'm not into.



Everyone is inexperienced at some point, and there are always things to learn. I'm not exactly sure why I'm such a perv, or why I have always been so comfortable talking about sex, but it is difficult for me at times to remember just how sheltered other people can be. I have refused to see someone again because they were unwilling to try...I don't mean try extreme things, I mean try to be better in bed. I'm just not willing to settle for bad sex.

It's okay to BE bad, as long as you put some effort into getting better at it, like the rest of us had to.

Sometimes it's really worth it. Sometimes it's not.

Sometimes the anticipation is awwwwesome.

Sometimes the anticipation is awwwwesome.
You're one of the few people who's a bigger slut than I am. :hail: Congrats.

Ok, I can see the aversion to urinating on your partner, but are you saying never ever to anal too?

Is that really a 'taboo' still?

I don't think it's a taboo at all. I also don't think it's appealing at all. Not a dichotomy.

You're one of the few people who's a bigger slut than I am. :hail: Congrats.

I don't know, I think I'm tied with biyay and maybe it's because we don't discriminate based on gender/sex :D

Everyone is inexperienced at some point, and there are always things to learn. I'm not exactly sure why I'm such a perv, or why I have always been so comfortable talking about sex, but it is difficult for me at times to remember just how sheltered other people can be. I have refused to see someone again because they were unwilling to try...I don't mean try extreme things, I mean try to be better in bed. I'm just not willing to settle for bad sex.

It's okay to BE bad, as long as you put some effort into getting better at it, like the rest of us had to.

Oh yeah, if either of us were unwilling to try to learn and get better, we wouldn't still be together. Like most couples, we do argue, but the arguments aren't generally about sex.

As for being a perv... it's all relative. Some of my friends think I'm a total pervert, but my ladyfriend disagrees.

There's nothing wrong with being open-minded and trying new things. As long as everybody involved in the sexual antics is willing (given that everyone's legally able to give consent, of course).

I don't think it's a taboo at all. I also don't think it's appealing at all. Not a dichotomy.

See...this is what so many women say. They might have even tried it, and it hurt and they decided 'never again!'.

But I don't know anyone who did it properly (as in not painfully) who didn't go....oh HELL yes.

But that's okay because I lack the necessary parts to be on the giving end, so it doesn't really bother me if a woman isn't into it...and to be honest I've never met a guy who wasn't into it, with a little bit of encouragement :D

I don't know, I think I'm tied with biyay and maybe it's because we don't discriminate based on gender/sex :DTrue, being bi would double my choices.

True, being bi would double my choices.

You'd make me really happy too :p

And it brings the question of where does the line lie between consensual behavior and the partner "taking it" because having nine dates should entitle you to that.

No magic number of dates entitles the person I'm with to anything, except the pleasure of my company. And it works both ways.

No magic number of dates entitles the person I'm with to anything, except the pleasure of my company. And it works both ways.

I think Vault was simply trolling the thread, so it's probably more effort than it's worth to respond to his 'arguments'.

No magic number of dates entitles the person I'm with to anything, except the pleasure of my company. And it works both ways.

Exactly.

Just because you were okay with something once, doesn't mean it's automatically 'on the menu' from then on it. And before you even get there, the idea that you are 'owed' anything is absolute bunk.

My approach is...if you dont' ask, you don't get. Like lapdances! In fact, I got a quick encore today!

Look at it this way if you bring it up and she says not rape her.

Look at it this way if you bring it up and she says not rape her.

You're lucky I'm not the snarky kind of bitch who reports things to moderation.

You're lucky I'm not the snarky kind of bitch who reports things to moderation.

Less likely than he/she might be... because I am the snarky kind of bitch who already has reported things to moderation.

Look at it this way if you bring it up and she says not rape her.

Um... what?

Despite how awesome that would be if it worked.

Well if it worked it would be my pick up line.

*Starts wondering if I should try next time I am at a pub*

??? depends on the guy. if he's biting the hook, reel him in!!

Ideally it would be prior to having sex for the first time, so everyone would know what to expect.

In practicality, most discussion has occurred during sex itself, and hasn't been all that deep. Pardon the pun.

My girlfriend's parents sheltered her way too much, in my opinion. I mean, I'm a year older, but still, it was kinda shocking to me that she didn't know what eating out was at age eighteen. Is that the type of thing people usually hear from their parents?

Is that the type of thing people usually hear from their parents?

No, but it seems to me they kinda carefully limited who her friends were and in general tried to prevent knowledge of such things, really of anything sexual at all, from being imparted to her.

No, but it seems to me they kinda carefully limited who her friends were and in general tried to prevent knowledge of such things, really of anything sexual at all, from being imparted to her.

Well did you teach her all that you knew?

Well did you teach her all that you knew?

At the time I had conceptual knowledge, but not very much experience. We're both rather more knowledgeable now.

At the time I had conceptual knowledge, but not very much experience. We're both rather more knowledgeable now.

Always a good way, to learn together.

Sex during menstraution. First 'date'.

If she doesn't let you know it's that time of the month, would you refuse to continue once you figured it out?

Sex during menstraution. First 'date'.

If she doesn't let you know it's that time of the month, would you refuse to continue once you figured it out?

Nope, I would not refuse to continue. But then again, menstruation's never really bothered me, even when giving oral sex.

Look at it this way if you bring it up and she says not rape her.

Excuse you? Perhaps you'd better explain -- I must be misunderstanding.

Nope, I would not refuse to continue. But then again, menstruation's never really bothered me, even when giving oral sex.

I used to be a bit queasy about that, oral during menstraution, but it doesn't really bother me all that much anymore.

On the other hand, I personally don't like someone giving me head when I'm on the rag. Nor am I really hugely fond of having sex while I'm bleeding. It's not that I don't like it, I just feel a bit uncomfortable because the people who really don't mind are sort of few and far between, and that kills some of the enjoyment for me. But that's how I am...if my partner isn't really super into something, it's not that interesting for me.

Sex during menstraution. First 'date'.

If she doesn't let you know it's that time of the month, would you refuse to continue once you figured it out?

Hell no!

As Calli said, it's not that big a deal, even for oral.

More importantly, (and this does depend on the girl in question, obviously) sex drive and responsiveness can be considerably higher during menstruation - and I'd be insane to object to giving her more and better orgasms, just because one of my wipe-clean surfaces might come out a little less sparkly than it went in. So to speak.

Hell no!

As Calli said, it's not that big a deal, even for oral.

More importantly, (and this does depend on the girl in question, obviously) sex drive and responsiveness can be considerably higher during menstruation - and I'd be insane to object to giving her more and better orgasms, just because one of my wipe-clean surfaces might come out a little less sparkly than it went in. So to speak.

It does depend on the lady in question, but yes, I know from experience that at least one woman can have substantially higher sex drive and responsiveness, as you said, when she's menstruating

Sex during menstraution. First 'date'.

If she doesn't let you know it's that time of the month, would you refuse to continue once you figured it out?
I am morally opposed to menstruation, so the answer is "Yes, I would stop." I'm willing to do about anything, but I don't feel comfortable bringing up rough stuff (rough=anal sex, hitting, bondage, etc) on my own.

I am morally opposed to menstruation, so the answer is "Yes, I would stop." I'm willing to do about anything, but I don't feel comfortable bringing up rough stuff (rough=anal sex, hitting, bondage, etc) on my own.

Anal sex is 'rough'?

Remind me to not let you get me drunk.




Unless it's REALLY drunk...

Use as many coupons as possible.

I used to be a bit queasy about that, oral during menstraution, but it doesn't really bother me all that much anymore.

On the other hand, I personally don't like someone giving me head when I'm on the rag. Nor am I really hugely fond of having sex while I'm bleeding. It's not that I don't like it, I just feel a bit uncomfortable because the people who really don't mind are sort of few and far between, and that kills some of the enjoyment for me. But that's how I am...if my partner isn't really super into something, it's not that interesting for me.

I really don't mind. I even like it. This is one of the reasons some of my friends think I'm a pervert.

Though I do have to wash my face afterwards. People might ask awkward questions.

I am morally opposed to menstruation, so the answer is "Yes, I would stop."
Ok.

I'm willing to do about anything, but I don't feel comfortable bringing up rough stuff (rough=anal sex, hitting, bondage, etc) on my own.

Welllll...you sort of do have to be a bit circumspect about that sort of thing. It's a lot easier to be the one asking to be hit, bound etc, than being the one suggesting meting it out. Especially if you're a man suggesting it, due to historical power imbalances and what not.

I wouldn't consider 'anal' to be rough. It sort of, by definition, can't be too rough.

Anal sex is 'rough'?

Remind me to not let you get me drunk.




Unless it's REALLY drunk...


How do you feel about pegging?

Anal sex is 'rough'?

Remind me to not let you get me drunk.




Unless it's REALLY drunk...

I am also bewildered. Sex in the bum doesn't have to be rough any more than sex in the vagina is rough.

I am also bewildered. Sex in the bum doesn't have to be rough any more than sex in the vagina is rough.

One would hope it would be considerably less so. :o

How do you feel about pegging?

As in... "should it be rough"... or "is it on my Hard Limits list"?


Actually, scratch that - they both have the same answer. ;)

One would hope it would be considerably less so. :o

Yes, the rectum is considerably less durable than the vagina.

How do you feel about pegging?

Depends on how I feel about the woman suggesting such antics.

As in... "should it be rough"... or "is it on my Hard Limits list"?


Actually, scratch that - they both have the same answer. ;)

Niiiiiiiiiiice!

I didn't like the idea for a long time. See, because I like being thrown around a bit, I had a bit of a problem with the idea of a guy taking it in the ass. Stupid gender stereotypes. I admit it...I was foolish.

Now, I can't wait. Can't!

Next question.

Spanking.

For? Against? Think it's ridiculous?

I used to think it was stupid. Then I tried it. And really, really, really liked it.

Not on it's own though. That would be a bit weird. As part of a larger BDSM scene perhaps, but mostly just during sex.

Rather than concern myself with the possibility of raising an uncomfortable subject during a conversation, I prefer to just give my dates a brief survey indicating their sexual boundaries. They receive their results in the mail in just 4-6 weeks, and the process of setting their pants ablaze with the passions of love can begin shortly afterward, following a simple, but requisite, compatibility analysis.

The process is tedious, but all of my post-copulation surveys indicate that the end result is very nearly worth the wait.

....amusingly, my ex did almost exactly that once, early in our relationship when he was making plans for the next time we saw each other. And it was HOT. :p

To answer the original question - I honestly don't know, since I've never done sexy-things with someone I wasn't good friends with first, and sex and sexuality are topics I will cheerfully discuss at length with friends. If I somehow had a personality transplant and starting liking stranger-sex, though, I suspect I would be rather shy about bringing up anything beyond fairly low-level kink (e.g. "Wanna pin me down and spank me a bit?" = yes, "Wanna tie me down, blindfold me, gag me, raise welts all over me and call me your little bitch while doing so?" = not quite yet) but wouldn't mind at all if my partner suggested crazy things, since my general attitude is "I'll try anything once." ;)

Next question.

Spanking.

For? Against? Think it's ridiculous?


So. Freaking. For.

Fun fact: I actually discovered I liked spanking in the course of joking with my then-boyfriend about the Castle Anthrax scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Yay geeky sexual exploration! :p

....amusingly, my ex did almost exactly that once, early in our relationship when he was making plans for the next time we saw each other. And it was HOT. :p
Yes but in that sort of situation, it's pretty important to know what are soft limits and what are hard limits...and being coy simply isn't an option :D

Actually, to be honest, I would appreciate it if someone would tell me on the first date that they think that urinating on girls is hot so I can tell them how I find this revolting and something I would never be a part of and we'll have saved each other a lot of time and heartache.

What occurs on a first date depends entirely on how I feel at the time and how things go in general though.

Next question.

Spanking.

For? Against? Think it's ridiculous?

I used to think it was stupid. Then I tried it. And really, really, really liked it.

Not on it's own though. That would be a bit weird. As part of a larger BDSM scene perhaps, but mostly just during sex.

Never let it be said that Neesika is a shy person.

So. Freaking. For.

Fun fact: I actually discovered I liked spanking in the course of joking with my then-boyfriend about the Castle Anthrax scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Yay geeky sexual exploration! :p

That's hilarious!

Hmmm, how did I discover this...I'm honestly not sure the first time it happened. I just remember going 'wtf, did he just hit me!?', being a little pissed and then feeling the sting and going 'uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh....can you do that again please?'

So far no one has hit me quite hard enough.

Yes but in that sort of situation, it's pretty important to know what are soft limits and what are hard limits...and being coy simply isn't an option :D

Indeed. It was still fairly hilarious, though, since he actually found an exceedingly detailed sexual survey online and made me take it - and I was pretty darn inexperienced at the time, so I kept coming across things on there and going, "....people actually DO that? Seriously? Why?"

Actually, to be honest, I would appreciate it if someone would tell me on the first date that they think that urinating on girls is hot so I can tell them how I find this revolting and something I would never be a part of and we'll have saved each other a lot of time and heartache.
Well and somethings sound better once you get to know a person more. Like if a random guy told me he likes choking and slapping women, I'd kick him in the balls. And the face, while he's writhing on the ground.

Certain things require a fair amount of trust, experience and critical thinking. For example, if I were with a guy who didn't have a bit of a crisis about how 'wrong' it is to hit someone, even if they ask for it, I'd be worried.
What occurs on a first date depends entirely on how I feel at the time and how things go in general though.
Ayup.

Nothing worse than deciding to fuck the prude anyway though. I always regret that.

Indeed. It was still fairly hilarious, though, since he actually found an exceedingly detailed sexual survey online and made me take it - and I was pretty darn inexperienced at the time, so I kept coming across things on there and going, "....people actually DO that? Seriously? Why?"

For the longest time I had this outrageous mental image of BDSMers being all fat hairy guys and aging women in leather, listlessly spanking one another and faking orgasms in pancake makeup. Soooo not my scene. No no. I was into being held down, choked, slapped, pinched, bitten, having my hair pulled, being called horrible names, and more explicit things I won't details...but totally not into BDSM.

:D

Next question.

Spanking.

For? Against? Think it's ridiculous?

I used to think it was stupid. Then I tried it. And really, really, really liked it.

Not on it's own though. That would be a bit weird. As part of a larger BDSM scene perhaps, but mostly just during sex.

Haven't really done it as part of sex and such. My ladyfriend and I will often take the opportunity to swat the other's behind when bending over. This started a couple years ago when we were playing each other at ping bong and discovered that we were both quite bad and had to go chasing after the ball and bending over to pick it up with appalling frequency. Paddles + behind = lulz. Quite tame, really. Though ping pong paddles can actually hurt.

Certain things require a fair amount of trust, experience and critical thinking. For example, if I were with a guy who didn't have a bit of a crisis about how 'wrong' it is to hit someone, even if they ask for it, I'd be worried.

I've found that a lot of BDSM relationships tend to have way more mutual trust and respect than vanilla ones. I can't say I'm in to that sort of thing, but I'd be lying if I didn't find it true that a lot of them last, are a lot closer and are less likely to have shit like cheating going on. The whole culture is based on a level of trust and responsibility that you just don't find in other places.

But that's just my take on the whole mess.

Haven't really done it as part of sex and such. My ladyfriend and I will often take the opportunity to swat the other's behind when bending over. This started a couple years ago when we were playing each other at ping bong and discovered that we were both quite bad and had to go chasing after the ball and bending over to pick it up with appalling frequency. Paddles + behind = lulz.

Next time you're doggystyling, try a little swat on the behind. You never know...it might not go over well, or it might go over REALLY well.

For the longest time I had this outrageous mental image of BDSMers being all fat hairy guys and aging women in leather, listlessly spanking one another and faking orgasms in pancake makeup. Soooo not my scene. No no. I was into being held down, choked, slapped, pinched, bitten, having my hair pulled, being called horrible names, and more explicit things I won't details...but totally not into BDSM.

:D

Hahaha.

The first time the Evil Ex brought up S&M to me, I was terribly freaked out by the idea that he was into that sort of thing, because he was my friend and those people were, like, seriously messed-up sociopaths who fantasized about carving their initials into prostitutes or something! How could he possibly think I would want to know about his scary perversion?!

(In retrospect, I realize that conversation was a very specific attempt to test the waters on his part, since I apparently exuded "this girl would totally love submission if she had any idea what it was" rays. It is a testament to his perseverance that he kept trying to get in my pants and turn me kinky even after my quite horrified reaction that first time.)

For the longest time I had this outrageous mental image of BDSMers being all fat hairy guys and aging women in leather, listlessly spanking one another and faking orgasms in pancake makeup. Soooo not my scene. No no. I was into being held down, choked, slapped, pinched, bitten, having my hair pulled, being called horrible names, and more explicit things I won't details...but totally not into BDSM.

:D
Isn't that basically BDSM? Or is that the joke?

Haven't really done it as part of sex and such. My ladyfriend and I will often take the opportunity to swat the other's behind when bending over. This started a couple years ago when we were playing each other at ping bong and discovered that we were both quite bad and had to go chasing after the ball and bending over to pick it up with appalling frequency. Paddles + behind = lulz. Quite tame, really. Though ping pong paddles can actually hurt.

Ping pong paddles are among my favorite things. ;)

Next time you're doggystyling, try a little swat on the behind. You never know...it might not go over well, or it might go over REALLY well.

Perhaps so. Hmmmm...

Damn long distance relationships...

This thread makes me want to take a shower. Well, the first page at least.

O_o at this thread.



....Yup. *nod*

I've found that a lot of BDSM relationships tend to have way more mutual trust and respect than vanilla ones. I can't say I'm in to that sort of thing, but I'd be lying if I didn't find it true that a lot of them last, are a lot closer and are less likely to have shit like cheating going on. The whole culture is based on a level of trust and responsibility that you just don't find in other places.

But that's just my take on the whole mess.
That's what I found. Some of the more upfront conversations I've had about sexual dynamics and power were in that context. I was shocked...because I had talked about sex a lot, but never quite like that. And you do allow yourself to become very vulnerable in a D/s dynamic. The novelty of that seems so far away now...but it wasn't that long ago that I sort of got woken up to some of these issues. Just being able to feel safe enough to open up about what you want is pretty amazing. I'm not sure I'd be as comfortable as I am with my own sexuality had that not happened. I was a little worried about my 'deviance' and so with some people, I just supressed it. Now...I use it to weed people out :D Either you're okay with me, or you're not :P

This thread makes me want to take a shower. Well, the first page at least.

A golden shower?

Isn't that basically BDSM? Or is that the joke?

Yes.

Perhaps so. Hmmmm...

Damn long distance relationships...

Ouch...well hopefully you see each other enough to try it out :D

Long distance relationships. I never thought I'd be into one. I'm too immediate, and needy. I'm very, very sexually demanding. So this new relationship has been tough, but waaaaaaaay awesomer than I ever thought, and totally worth the pain and suffering caused by the distance. It'll pay off, soon enough...just one more semester to go...

Hey, Neesika, have you ever heard of this (http://www.sexscience.org/publications/index.php?category_id=439)?

This thread makes me want to take a shower. Well, the first page at least.

Oooh, you know what's really good in the shower? Suprise buttsecks.

Seriously. Water is a great lube. Highly recommend.

A golden shower?

Oh.

You....naughty, naughty girl.

Ouch...well hopefully you see each other enough to try it out :D

Long distance relationships. I never thought I'd be into one. I'm too immediate, and needy. I'm very, very sexually demanding. So this new relationship has been tough, but waaaaaaaay awesomer than I ever thought, and totally worth the pain and suffering caused by the distance. It'll pay off, soon enough...just one more semester to go...

We didn't start off long distance, but then I went to one college and the next year she went to a different one. But that's how it goes. Winter break is coming up, so that should be good.

Hey, Neesika, have you ever heard of this (http://www.sexscience.org/publications/index.php?category_id=439)?

Hey wicked! Thanks for the link!

Wow...they have a term for 'first orgasm'? (orgasmarche)

Awesome.

Hey wicked! Thanks for the link!

Wow...they have a term for 'first orgasm'? (orgasmarche)

Awesome.You're welcome.
I find many odd things on my excursions in the Interwebs. :tongue:

Uhm, Anal, on the first date? Really? I dunno, seems to me that has as good a chance of happening as asking her to participate in BDSM or some other kind of kinky stuff. If you're talking about anal with girls, if they agree to it, it's because they're doing you a favor, not because they enjoy it (for the most part).

As for urination, I don't think you could find anyone except a prostitute or some nympho you shouldn't be with who would willingly be urinated on. I know people like it, but I really can't see the appeal.

Huh. Apparently I'm a prostitute and/or a nymphomaniac. Given that, you would really think I would have gotten laid sometime in the last four years.

Huh. Apparently I'm a prostitute and/or a nymphomaniac. Took you long enough to acknowledge it. :p

Given that, you would really think I would have gotten laid sometime in the last four years. I'm sure someone is willing to work on that problem for you. ;)

Huh. Apparently I'm a prostitute and/or a nymphomaniac. Given that, you would really think I would have gotten laid sometime in the last four years.

Don't mind him, he's kind of a narrow minded idiot. I wasn't aware he was still on NS. He apparently did not read the thread.

Huh. Apparently I'm a prostitute and/or a nymphomaniac. Given that, you would really think I would have gotten laid sometime in the last four years.

Not exactly what I meant. I mean, are you talking about being the target of it? Or doing it to someone else. It's not exactly what I'd call something run of the mill, but if it makes you happy then it's your call.

Huh. Apparently I'm a prostitute and/or a nymphomaniac. Given that, you would really think I would have gotten laid sometime in the last four years.

Fucking.

Priceless.

We could be getting paid? Goddamn it!

Well and somethings sound better once you get to know a person more. Like if a random guy told me he likes choking and slapping women, I'd kick him in the balls. And the face, while he's writhing on the ground.

Certain things require a fair amount of trust, experience and critical thinking. For example, if I were with a guy who didn't have a bit of a crisis about how 'wrong' it is to hit someone, even if they ask for it, I'd be worried.
Well, so something like spanking/restraining I can sort of understand (not that this would be first date material since the trust is not likely there) but shit/piss=no.

Fucking.

Priceless.

We could be getting paid? Goddamn it!Only In Rhode Island* and Nevada**.

*As long as it's in-doors.
**Except in Vegas. 'Tis very illegal in Vegas.

Well, so something like spanking/restraining I can sort of understand (not that this would be first date material since the trust is not likely there) but shit/piss=no.

shit/piss is really, they shouldn't go together....feces is dirty, urine is sterile.

Not exactly what I meant. I mean, are you talking about being the target of it? Or doing it to someone else. It's not exactly what I'd call something run of the mill, but if it makes you happy then it's your call.

From her post, it seems to be implied that she would be fine with getting urinated on. Hence her surprise at being called a prostitute/nymphomaniac.

I fail to see what's wrong with such a kink, if that's what floats her boat.

shit/piss is really, they shouldn't go together....feces is dirty, urine is sterile.

Indeed. If my girlfriend peed on me, I would be surprised and a bit concerned about the bedsheets (if we were on a bed). If she pooped on me I'd be really really disgusted.

Well, so something like spanking/restraining I can sort of understand (not that this would be first date material since the trust is not likely there) but shit/piss=no.

Fair enough.

Scat is a hard limit for me. Haven't tried. Don't care to. Shan't.

Piss...well, I don't know. It's sterile. Not sure I'm massively into it, never tried. Might, in very specific circumstances.

Not a huge goal in my life though. That would be sex with Pam Grier.

shit/piss is really, they shouldn't go together....feces is dirty, urine is sterile.
They're both waste products, they're both smelly (even if one is smellier than the other) and they're both gross. They go together imo.

From her post, it seems to be implied that she would be fine with getting urinated on. Hence her surprise at being called a prostitute/nymphomaniac.

I fail to see what's wrong with such a kink, if that's what floats her boat.


Eh, nothing wrong with it. I just have never met anyone who actually admitted they would like to be urinated on. I didn't think people would agree to it unless they're into it for the sake of being dominated.

Not a huge goal in my life though. That would be sex with Pam Grier....Modern day?

They're both waste products, they're both smelly (even if one is smellier than the other) and they're both gross. They go together imo.
Okay.

On an unrelated note, if your urine smells you should drink more water.

Okay.

On an unrelated note, if your urine smells you should drink more water.
It still smells like something, regardless.

...also, sometimes my pee smells like coffee. I don't drink a lot of it, but when I do it apparently goes through really fast.

Oooh, squirting!

So, okay for a while I was interested in the phenomenom of squirting. I looked into it a bit, researched...apparently all women are capable of it, it's just not somethin all women can do without extensive trying. So I figured, ah well, too lazy to learn or whatever.

And then, very recently, it happened and I was like...wtf? At first I just figured I was wetter than usual because I was waaaay more turned on than usual. Then it was more than just your average or even abnormal vaginal lubrication and I realised wooohoo!

But I have discovered that I can only squirt when I am high/drunk, and only during penetration. And unfortunately when those two criteria are met, I don't actually have any control over it.

So I recently had to apologise for making a mess, and we were forced to sleep on towels over the sheets. *eep*

Any experience here with this?

...Modern day?

Ideally, Black Mama, White Mama days...but fuck, it's fucking Pam Grier, I'd STILL hit that.

From her post, it seems to be implied that she would be fine with getting urinated on. Hence her surprise at being called a prostitute/nymphomaniac.

I fail to see what's wrong with such a kink, if that's what floats her boat.

As it happens, being urinated on isn't really my thing, but my ex liked it and I saw no particular reason to refuse him. Heaven knows he got enough other bodily fluids on me, and most of them are rather less sterile. :p

They're both waste products, they're both smelly (even if one is smellier than the other) and they're both gross. They go together imo.

Fair enough, although one can make you really sick, and the other might make you sick but not sick.

Anyway. Not a big deal really, I've no desire to convince people to do things they're not into!

Eh, nothing wrong with it. I just have never met anyone who actually admitted they would like to be urinated on. I didn't think people would agree to it unless they're into it for the sake of being dominated.

*gives you the obvious stare*

Eh, nothing wrong with it. I just have never met anyone who actually admitted they would like to be urinated on. I didn't think people would agree to it unless they're into it for the sake of being dominated.

Um, well, you did seem to have a problem with it on the last page:

As for urination, I don't think you could find anyone except a prostitute or some nympho you shouldn't be with who would willingly be urinated on. I know people like it, but I really can't see the appeal.

So basically, you were saying that Poliwanacraca was either a prostitute or a nympho who a hypothetical someone shouldn't be with. Hmmm...

You also said:

Uhm, Anal, on the first date? Really? I dunno, seems to me that has as good a chance of happening as asking her to participate in BDSM or some other kind of kinky stuff. If you're talking about anal with girls, if they agree to it, it's because they're doing you a favor, not because they enjoy it (for the most part).
This is factually incorrect. This thread would indicate that, done properly, women do enjoy anal. Sin apparently quite enjoys it, and has said that those she knows who've tried it "properly" (which I assume to mean with lube and not going too fast at first) also enjoy it.

Did you bother reading the thread at all?

Ideally, Black Mama, White Mama days...but fuck, it's fucking Pam Grier, I'd STILL hit that.Yeah, you're right.

As for this.
Any experience here with this?You could always try that link I gave you. They have a lot of interesting stuff on there.
But I'm definitely not the guy for this one.

Okay.

On an unrelated note, if your urine smells you should drink more water.

Also don't eat asparagus.

Bad question to ask me... I'm an open person. If a topic is brought up on a date I will answer it; regardless of its topic. My behavior on a date usually parallels the behavior of the person I'm dating. I let people know my boundaries and comfort levels when its the right time (aka when those are in danger of being breached). So if as in the OP I was asked about my thoughts on pissing on her chest on a first date.. I'd tell her that I think that's just gross.


P.S. I think Neesika was just simply putting down the most shocking thing she could think of when she mentioned pissing (because even as open as I am I'd be shocked on the first date!)

As it happens, being urinated on isn't really my thing, but my ex liked it and I saw no particular reason to refuse him. Heaven knows he got enough other bodily fluids on me, and most of them are rather less sterile. :p

Lulz. Fluid exchange.

This is one of the most kinky threads I've ever seen on NS.

It still smells like something, regardless.

...also, sometimes my pee smells like coffee. I don't drink a lot of it, but when I do it apparently goes through really fast.

I've never heard of that before!

You know, there used to be doctors who would diagnose their patients by the colour, consistancy and smell of their urine? Fascinating, though somewhat stomach churning. Apparently quite effective however. Guy Gavriel Kay even wrote a novel with a female protagonist who was learned in such things :P

*gives you the obvious stare*

Yeah, I loved that bit, especially since it would imply that apparently all submissives = prostitutes and nymphomaniacs. I think I shall have to start calling myself the least successful prostitute ever, insofar as I am getting neither sex nor money. :p

Oooh, squirting!

So, okay for a while I was interested in the phenomenom of squirting. I looked into it a bit, researched...apparently all women are capable of it, it's just not somethin all women can do without extensive trying. So I figured, ah well, too lazy to learn or whatever.

And then, very recently, it happened and I was like...wtf? At first I just figured I was wetter than usual because I was waaaay more turned on than usual. Then it was more than just your average or even abnormal vaginal lubrication and I realised wooohoo!

But I have discovered that I can only squirt when I am high/drunk, and only during penetration. And unfortunately when those two criteria are met, I don't actually have any control over it.

So I recently had to apologise for making a mess, and we were forced to sleep on towels over the sheets. *eep*

Any experience here with this?

Squirting is hawt.

This is factually incorrect. This thread would indicate that, done properly, women do enjoy anal. Sin apparently quite enjoys it, and has said that those she knows who've tried it "properly" (which I assume to mean with lube and not going too fast at first) also enjoy it.

Did you bother reading the thread at all?

Seriously, I know a lot of people are still all 'ewwwwww' about anal, but if you do it right, it isn't ewww at all, and it feels freaking amazing. For both people involved.


You could always try that link I gave you. They have a lot of interesting stuff on there.
But I'm definitely not the guy for this one.Hmmm, yeah bit of a new thing. I knew a woman who could squirt, and we all thought it was just amazing. There was the whole 'omg is that pee!?' thing, but I quickly learned that no, it is not. Still, as prudish as many people are, I worry that they'll make stupid assumptions. So in this way I'm once again grateful for porn which depicts it, because it's fairly obvious that it's NOT anything but what it is.



P.S. I think Neesika was just simply putting down the most shocking thing she could think of when she mentioned pissing (because even as open as I am I'd be shocked on the first date!)
Yeah...I don't really know anyone who'd bring it up on a first date. But you really never know.

Lulz. Fluid exchange.

This is one of the most kinky threads I've ever seen on NS.

Muahahahah, you haven't been here long enough then.

You know what always sort of grosses me out in some porn? Spitting in someone's mouth. It's usually during oral sessions...but it's like...dunno. Not sure I'd want to taste that, even though you're swapping saliva during kissing and that's fine.

Being spit ON. Well. That is not something I thought I'd be into, and yet the first time it happened I just about lost my mind.

Hmmm, yeah bit of a new thing. I knew a woman who could squirt, and we all thought it was just amazing. There was the whole 'omg is that pee!?' thing, but I quickly learned that no, it is not. Still, as prudish as many people are, I worry that they'll make stupid assumptions. So in this way I'm once again grateful for porn which depicts it, because it's fairly obvious that it's NOT anything but what it is.Information is a beautiful thing.

And I just realized that I should totally not be on this thread, but whatever. :p

Squirting is hawt.

Never ever known of it to happen... but I have slept with a whole 4 women.

Squirting is hawt.

Okay well I can see that. I mean, I think it's really hot too, to watch. I think it's hot because it's a visible and undeniable female orgasm...you know for sure it isn't faked.

However, it's also inconvenient. It's messy. Messier than male ejaculation because it's not as thick, and there's a lot more of it. That annoys me. Also, it has a tendency to overlube. So...you're realllllly enjoying something and you squirt and suddenly the right amount of friction is seriously reduced. THAT is a piss off.

I haven't had anyone complain though so maybe it's just me being self-conscious.

Also, I hate the term 'squirt'. And 'female ejaculate' sounds weird. A sexier term is needed.

the first date the concept of etiquette was introduced to the human species is lost in the mists of prehistory.

Yeah, I loved that bit, especially since it would imply that apparently all submissives = prostitutes and nymphomaniacs. I think I shall have to start calling myself the least successful prostitute ever, insofar as I am getting neither sex nor money. :p
Well, I never get enough sex, and I'm definitely broke, so maybe we can call it a tie?


And I just realized that I should totally not be on this thread, but whatever. :p
Why not?

Why not?I don't think I'm old enough. ;)
But nothing on here has really surprised me. So, I think it's all right.

Um, well, you did seem to have a problem with it on the last page:



So basically, you were saying that Poliwanacraca was either a prostitute or a nympho who a hypothetical someone shouldn't be with. Hmmm...

You also said:


This is factually incorrect. This thread would indicate that, done properly, women do enjoy anal. Sin apparently quite enjoys it, and has said that those she knows who've tried it "properly" (which I assume to mean with lube and not going too fast at first) also enjoy it.

Did you bother reading the thread at all?


I skimmed it. And no, I wasnt saying what you're insinuating, all things considered, I was only thinking in terms of paraphilias as opposed to just domination and submission, hence why I deleted the post when I realized how stupid that was, though she managed to quote it.

I don't have anything wrong with domination and submission whatsoever, none at all, that's fun, I mean, I wouldn't put urine or scat into it, but if that's what it takes, do it.

I don't think I'm old enough. ;)
But nothing on here has really surprised me. So, I think it's all right.

*Throws out sign that reads no persons under 18 may enter this thread.*

I don't see an age limit here so you're good to go ol' buddy.

*Throws out sign that reads no persons under 18 may enter this thread.*

I don't see an age limit here so you're good to go ol' buddy.Oh, alright. *ignores the sign being thrown*
:wink:

Muahahahah, you haven't been here long enough then.

You know what always sort of grosses me out in some porn? Spitting in someone's mouth. It's usually during oral sessions...but it's like...dunno. Not sure I'd want to taste that, even though you're swapping saliva during kissing and that's fine.

Being spit ON. Well. That is not something I thought I'd be into, and yet the first time it happened I just about lost my mind.

Oh, I've been here a while. I remember the old forums, and also reacting with quite a bit of dismay when the mods changed the title of one of Der Fuhrer Dyszel's threads from "If I had a Penis" to "If I were a man." She wasn't talking about being a man, she was talking about waking up one day as still a woman, but with a phallus.

And yeah, for some reason, being spit on seems pretty bad. I think because it's a traditional way of expressing pretty extreme disrespect. Totally a turn off when they do it in porn.

Yeah, I loved that bit, especially since it would imply that apparently all submissives = prostitutes and nymphomaniacs. I think I shall have to start calling myself the least successful prostitute ever, insofar as I am getting neither sex nor money.:P

I was gonna pass this up but in my current mindset I had to grab ahold of the opportunity for the laughs.


I can help with the sex part...

I've never heard of that before!

You know, there used to be doctors who would diagnose their patients by the colour, consistancy and smell of their urine? Fascinating, though somewhat stomach churning. Apparently quite effective however. Guy Gavriel Kay even wrote a novel with a female protagonist who was learned in such things :P
I should find one of these people and drink some coffee before meeting with them to see what they think.

Eeek! You've engaged a serious Sinuhue hangup! Age! Though it's not really applicable in this conversational setting.

My cut-off age is 21. And that is really pushing it. 21 is just there as a bare minimum...I'm not actually convinced I'd ever get involved with someone that young. Youngest I've been with recently was 24 and THAT freaked me out because I found out after the fact.

So yeah. Choke me, hit me, spit on me...all fine...but don't be too young :P

Eeek! You've engaged a serious Sinuhue hangup! Age! Though it's not really applicable in this conversational setting.

My cut-off age is 21. And that is really pushing it. 21 is just there as a bare minimum...I'm not actually convinced I'd ever get involved with someone that young. Youngest I've been with recently was 24 and THAT freaked me out because I found out after the fact.

So yeah. Choke me, hit me, spit on me...all fine...but don't be too young :PI'm four years too young. Drat. ;)

Usually I find those things out over lunch.

Hopefully lunch involves some kind of tureen or is otherwise covered.

Unprotected sex.

2nd Amendment-protected public nonconsensual anal sex, anytime dark.

You need help.

Guarantees it, if you really want it.

I was wrong. You need to be committed to an institution.

If she orders the lobster, she gets it in the pooper.

I'm still waiting for my wife to order the lobster.

Laughed myself hoarse. 'Course I have bronchitis, so that's not difficult, but still, very funny. There's something about the unexpected use of words like "pooper" that makes me giggle.

Sex during menstraution. First 'date'.

If she doesn't let you know it's that time of the month, would you refuse to continue once you figured it out?

Been there, done that, had the t-shirt (got rid of it and its memorial when we broke up). I agree with what most have said on this topic -- I wouldn't go down on someone in full bleed, but teh secks is definitely go.

That's hilarious!

Hmmm, how did I discover this...I'm honestly not sure the first time it happened. I just remember going 'wtf, did he just hit me!?', being a little pissed and then feeling the sting and going 'uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh....can you do that again please?'

So far no one has hit me quite hard enough.

Just let me watch, that's all I ask. After I've seen enough, if you'd like an assistant, I'd volunteer. NSG's resident voyeur.

Eh, nothing wrong with it. I just have never met anyone who actually admitted they would like to be urinated on. I didn't think people would agree to it unless they're into it for the sake of being dominated.

I had a Greek GF who liked it, but only when we were in the shower already. She liked how warm it felt and that it meant we were truly comfy around one another. I wisecracked that if we were TRULY comfy, we'd piss on each other in the front yard. When she was through laughing, she said "ah, no."

Did you bother reading the thread at all?

Nope. He's too busy fapping to it. You know how it is with those repressed types.

Never ever known of it to happen... but I have slept with a whole 4 women.

Does that mean you've also slept with half-women? If so, which half?

Okay well I can see that. I mean, I think it's really hot too, to watch. I think it's hot because it's a visible and undeniable female orgasm...you know for sure it isn't faked.

However, it's also inconvenient. It's messy. Messier than male ejaculation because it's not as thick, and there's a lot more of it. That annoys me. Also, it has a tendency to overlube. So...you're realllllly enjoying something and you squirt and suddenly the right amount of friction is seriously reduced. THAT is a piss off.

I haven't had anyone complain though so maybe it's just me being self-conscious.

Also, I hate the term 'squirt'. And 'female ejaculate' sounds weird. A sexier term is needed.

One person I knew who did it (we only had phone sex, so I never got to see it, unfortunately) called it "drenching". Seemed appropriate.

I've never tried anal but have wanted to. I'd like to experience more than one person at a time, as well. As far as first date conversations, I try to surf the wave as I perceive it. I may go out on a limb or two, but in the end, she's really in control, so I try to volley, and I'm pretty good at it. I just don't get a lot of court time.

Oh, I've been here a while. I remember the old forums, and also reacting with quite a bit of dismay when the mods changed the title of one of Der Fuhrer Dyszel's threads from "If I had a Penis" to "If I were a man." She wasn't talking about being a man, she was talking about waking up one day as still a woman, but with a phallus. Either you really have been here that long or you've been reading encyclopedia dramatica.

And yeah, for some reason, being spit on seems pretty bad. I think because it's a traditional way of expressing pretty extreme disrespect. Totally a turn off when they do it in porn.
It's very situational. Again, if someone purported to do that to me in an actually disrespectful way, I'd probably hand them their genitalia on a napkin.

Okay well I can see that. I mean, I think it's really hot too, to watch. I think it's hot because it's a visible and undeniable female orgasm...you know for sure it isn't faked.

However, it's also inconvenient. It's messy. Messier than male ejaculation because it's not as thick, and there's a lot more of it. That annoys me. Also, it has a tendency to overlube. So...you're realllllly enjoying something and you squirt and suddenly the right amount of friction is seriously reduced. THAT is a piss off.

I haven't had anyone complain though so maybe it's just me being self-conscious.

Also, I hate the term 'squirt'. And 'female ejaculate' sounds weird. A sexier term is needed.

How about "erupt"?

Sort of, you know, woman as a volcano type of thing.

As for wetness getting everywhere, yeah, I guess that would get kinda messy. And a wet patch on the bed is kinda inconvenient if it's going to get cold that night.

But still, it looks so awesome...

I should find one of these people and drink some coffee before meeting with them to see what they think.

Just throwing it out there, but I'd assume there was some issue with the kidneys being unable to properly filter the coffee...

But now I will pay attention next time I drink coffee :D

Eeek! You've engaged a serious Sinuhue hangup! Age! Though it's not really applicable in this conversational setting.

My cut-off age is 21. And that is really pushing it. 21 is just there as a bare minimum...I'm not actually convinced I'd ever get involved with someone that young. Youngest I've been with recently was 24 and THAT freaked me out because I found out after the fact.

So yeah. Choke me, hit me, spit on me...all fine...but don't be too young :P

Yuppers, same here. My "try anything once" rule is completely not applicable to trying, say, 19-year-olds. I am sure they are charming 19-year-olds, but...no. Just no.

I'm four years too young. Drat. ;)

Oh jesus fucking clooney frog on a stick.

I'll try not to hold it against you. Urp.

Eeek! You've engaged a serious Sinuhue hangup! Age! Though it's not really applicable in this conversational setting.

My cut-off age is 21. And that is really pushing it. 21 is just there as a bare minimum...I'm not actually convinced I'd ever get involved with someone that young. Youngest I've been with recently was 24 and THAT freaked me out because I found out after the fact.

So yeah. Choke me, hit me, spit on me...all fine...but don't be too young :P

I have a minimum cut off at 19, I guess I have a max too, if your as old as my parents for instance... no thanks I don't have an Oedipal complex.

I prefer within 3 years of me for anything serious.

Oh, I've been here a while. I remember the old forums, and also reacting with quite a bit of dismay when the mods changed the title of one of Der Fuhrer Dyszel's threads from "If I had a Penis" to "If I were a man." She wasn't talking about being a man, she was talking about waking up one day as still a woman, but with a phallus.

And yeah, for some reason, being spit on seems pretty bad. I think because it's a traditional way of expressing pretty extreme disrespect. Totally a turn off when they do it in porn.

They should have said they were talking about the Uncle Banzai song "If I Had a Penis" -- it's a title, they couldn't very well edit that, could they?

If I had a penis I'd wear it outside
In cafes and carlots with pomp and with pride
If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper
If I had a penis I'd take it to parties
Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties
I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay
I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day

I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stickshifts
I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts
I'd peek around corners
I'd aim at my toilet
I'd poke it at foreigners
And soap it and oil it
If I had a penis I'd run to my mother
Comb out the hair and compare it to brother
I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would endulge
Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge

(chorus)
A penis to plunder, a penis to push
Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush
A penis to love me, a penis to share...
To pick up and play with when nobody's there

I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair
I'd play with my fly, albeit with care
I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets
Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets
I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas
Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas
And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches,
Poolhalls and potholes and bottles and bitches...

Zucchinies and zebras, tomatoes, tomatoes,
And pineapple pumpkins, and gulches and grottos,
And melons and marshmallows...

Gloves and gorillas
Slurpies and slippers
Chinooks and chinchillas...

(chorus)

If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain
I'd force it on females
I'd pee like a fountain...

If I had a penis I'd still be a girl,
But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.

Either you really have been here that long or you've been reading encyclopedia dramatica.
DFD's a friend of mine. I've been RPing in her war thread since I started here (yes, it's been going four years). And that was one of her best threads. Also, you have a TG

It's very situational. Again, if someone purported to do that to me in an actually disrespectful way, I'd probably hand them their genitalia on a napkin.
That sounds very painful. The genitalia in a napkin part, that is. I mean, saliva can get all over the place, but actually intentionally spitting on someone... I don't get it.

Yuppers, same here. My "try anything once" rule is completely not applicable to trying, say, 19-year-olds. I am sure they are charming 19-year-olds, but...no. Just no.And I'm only seventenn. Regardless of the fact that I like older women. ;)

Oh jesus fucking clooney frog on a stick.

I'll try not to hold it against you. Urp.I wouldn't hold it against you if you did.

Does that mean you've also slept with half-women? If so, which half?


Well there was this one time... no no not at all. I'm not quite that kinky.

A whole 4 women is not 4 whole women.

You need to date in order to have sex with someone? Next you'll be telling me you need to know the other person's name! Jeesh.... I just hit the darkrooms.

Just throwing it out there, but I'd assume there was some issue with the kidneys being unable to properly filter the coffee...

But now I will pay attention next time I drink coffee :D
This is possible... or it's related to my officemate's coffee making which involves a shitload of grounds going into the coffee maker.

Oh jesus fucking clooney frog on a stick.

*snorts*

*sigged*

Hopefully lunch involves some kind of tureen or is otherwise covered. No need. You'd be amazed how elegantly I can phrase the crudest of inquiries. Or rather, just how far being 5'0", innocent looking with a pixie cut gets you in terms of latitude towards outrageousness.

Or maybe you wouldn't.




Just let me watch, that's all I ask. After I've seen enough, if you'd like an assistant, I'd volunteer. NSG's resident voyeur. Well if I manage to make a video where I'm not horrible self-conscious after the fact, I'll get it to you:) And if you get a chance to visit Alberta in the next six or seven months, I'll definitely call you in as a volunteer :D



I had a Greek GF who liked it, but only when we were in the shower already. She liked how warm it felt and that it meant we were truly comfy around one another. I wisecracked that if we were TRULY comfy, we'd piss on each other in the front yard. When she was through laughing, she said "ah, no." omg you've done it. You're my hero.

GoG isn't allowed to read this thread, it'll fully freak him out :D


One person I knew who did it (we only had phone sex, so I never got to see it, unfortunately) called it "drenching". Seemed appropriate. That's a great term! It should be a source of pride...'you got me THAT wet'.

I've never tried anal but have wanted to. Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh so worth it. I'd like to experience more than one person at a time, as well. Also soooo fucking worth it. Once you deal with some of the strange dynamics and the almost inherent jealousy it's just fun. And amazing. As far as first date conversations, I try to surf the wave as I perceive it. I may go out on a limb or two, but in the end, she's really in control, so I try to volley, and I'm pretty good at it. I just don't get a lot of court time.
I don't think that whole 'she's in control' thing is totally accurate, speaking as a woman. I mean, I understand that in this day and age, a man can't push it too much...but frick, neither can we. I find myself constantly banging up against people's limits, and there's really nothing you can do about it, but have patience and respect. Historically, perhaps it has been men who had more knowledge sexually and so who were pushing more....but I think that is shifting. I know plenty of men who have no problem saying 'uh not yet, maybe not at all...slow down'. It can be incredibly frustrating, but that's just the way it is.

What a strange world you people live in. I don't think I'd enjoy sex with any of you. You all talk too much. I think my sexual motto is: "Shut up and get fucking."

What would I discuss on the first date? Nothing. I don't like grilling a date about sex before we get anywhere near a bedroom, like I'm browsing at a goddamn car dealership and asking about available options.

Sex on a first date? Sure, if we both want each other. I've had first-date sex often. I'm not into delayed gratification all that much.

Anal? It's painful for me, so no.

Urinating? No, thanks. Boring.

Squirting? Never really thought about it. My sex is always super wet, so...who knows?

Sex/oral during menstruation? I have no problem with it, provided there are lots of towels. But my period apparently isn't so much into it. My period isn't into letting me have fun, in general. I hate my period. A lot. *having period now; hating it*

Spanking? Boring.

Outfits and toys? Boring.

Dom/sub games? Boring.

Role play? Boring.

Talking a lot during sex? Annoying. See motto, above.

Generally, I find all that kind of stuff -- words, roles, props, etc -- to be a distraction from great sex, not an enhancement to it.

I just like to fuck -- long, hard, loud and messy. Mutual oral. A few positions, whatever. A little wrestle. Maybe a few bruises or scratches, nothing drastic. Have to change the bed linens afterwards. That sort of scene. Keep it simple.

And there's no number of dates that signals it's okay to do that now. If the chemistry is there, we can even forego the dating part.

Yuppers, same here. My "try anything once" rule is completely not applicable to trying, say, 19-year-olds. I am sure they are charming 19-year-olds, but...no. Just no.
I call it a hang-up because I can't rationally explain it, or necessarily justify it, it just IS. So I can respect other people's 'hangups' without needing to understand WHY they just don't want to do something. :)
I have a minimum cut off at 19, I guess I have a max too, if your as old as my parents for instance... no thanks I don't have an Oedipal complex.

I prefer within 3 years of me for anything serious. I don't really have an upper year cut-off. Biggest age difference for me has been 19 years, but it really depends on the person. I'm not going to discount someone who is older, just because they're older. Whilst I will totally do that on the other end. Not saying it's rational.

I don't really have an upper year cut-off. Biggest age difference for me has been 19 years, but it really depends on the person. I'm not going to discount someone who is older, just because they're older. Whilst I will totally do that on the other end. Not saying it's rational.There's something very discriminatory about this sentence. I just can't put my finger on it. :wink:

You need to date in order to have sex with someone? Next you'll be telling me you need to know the other person's name! Jeesh.... I just hit the darkrooms.
You get your sex in photo labs?

DFD's a friend of mine. I've been RPing in her war thread since I started here (yes, it's been going four years). And that was one of her best threads. Also, you have a TG Responded.


That sounds very painful. The genitalia in a napkin part, that is. I mean, saliva can get all over the place, but actually intentionally spitting on someone... I don't get it. Yeah...well it's...wow. Think of it as a physical extension of really dirty, demeaning talk. Which is only okay in the heat of the moment mind you. But yeah. It was awesome.

And I'm only seventenn. Regardless of the fact that I like older women. ;)

Maybe when I'm like 40, and a total cougar, I'll think it's okay :P For now, you are the freaking age of kids I used to teach. And although it may not come across here, I have pretty strict ethical standards.
*snorts*

*sigged*What...doesn't everyone say that?

Maybe when I'm like 40, and a total cougar, I'll think it's okay :P For now, you are the freaking age of kids I used to teach. And although it may not come across here, I have pretty strict ethical standards.I understand completely. That's the typical response*. ;)

*I get it a lot.

I call it a hang-up because I can't rationally explain it, or necessarily justify it, it just IS. So I can respect other people's 'hangups' without needing to understand WHY they just don't want to do something. :)
I don't really have an upper year cut-off. Biggest age difference for me has been 19 years, but it really depends on the person. I'm not going to discount someone who is older, just because they're older. Whilst I will totally do that on the other end. Not saying it's rational.
I'm not into young guys either. Every now and then I see a guy in his 20s who is very beautiful, and I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't kick that out of bed. But 20 and under, I'm sorry, they just seem...not finished yet...to my eye.

I think guys hit their max sexiness in their 40s.

*snipped because its long*

That was beautiful, pretty much the same for me.

What a strange world you people live in. I don't think I'd enjoy sex with any of you. You all talk too much. I think my sexual motto is: "Shut up and get fucking." *giggles*

What would I discuss on the first date? Nothing. I don't like grilling a date about sex before we get anywhere near a bedroom, like I'm browsing at a goddamn car dealership and asking about available options. Again, I think the term 'date' is misleading. Names aren't even all that important to me sometimes.

Sex on a first date? Sure, if we both want each other. I've had first-date sex often. I'm not into delayed gratification all that much. Di-fucking-ito.

Anal? It's painful for me, so no. Sorry :(

Urinating? No, thanks. Boring.

Squirting? Never really thought about it. My sex is always super wet, so...who knows?

Sex/oral during menstruation? I have no problem with it, provided there are lots of towels. But my period apparently isn't so much into it. My period isn't into letting me have fun, in general. I hate my period. A lot. *having period now; hating it*
Yeah. Mine has gotten a lot more insane lately. As in, at least three days where no, you are not fucking getting near me cuz I ache and I'm gushing like the freaking Hoover Dam is breaking.

Spanking? Boring.

Outfits and toys? Boring. Agreed on the outfits. My favourite outfit is 'naked'. Although pre-sex dress can be fun. As in 'this is my dress where you can almost see my panties, but not quite. Spanking...well, it's part of the pain thing, which if you aren't into, I can totally see as being boring.

Dom/sub games? Boring.

Role play? Boring. Games? Play? Ayiiieee!

I don't RP, and I don't like games. But I do like being forced to do things I otherwise would not choose to do.

Talking a lot during sex? Annoying. See motto, above. I didn't used to be into it. I mean, I don't want to have to respond with sentences or anything coherent. I just want to hear it, in very specific situations. But if it's lame, it turns me off, so it's a fine line.

Generally, I find all that kind of stuff -- words, roles, props, etc -- to be a distraction from great sex, not an enhancement to it.

I just like to fuck -- long, hard, loud and messy. Mutual oral. A few positions, whatever. A little wrestle. Maybe a few bruises or scratches, nothing drastic. Have to change the bed linens afterwards. That sort of scene. Keep it simple.

Ayup. Roles, props...no. Words...can be good at just the right moment, for me. Or really terrible, depending.


And there's no number of dates that signals it's okay to do that now. If the chemistry is there, we can even forego the dating part.

The 'number of dates' was entirely tongue in cheek on my part.

I don't think I ever 'dated'.

How about "erupt"?

Sort of, you know, woman as a volcano type of thing.

As for wetness getting everywhere, yeah, I guess that would get kinda messy. And a wet patch on the bed is kinda inconvenient if it's going to get cold that night.

But still, it looks so awesome...

The problem is, you're generally not in the position (or with the right lighting) to see it, outside of porn.

There's something very discriminatory about this sentence. I just can't put my finger on it. :wink:

Luckly I'm not a government agent, so Charter restrictions on age discrimination don't apply, and I'm not providing a public service, so Human Rights Legislation can't touch me.

I'm not into young guys either. Every now and then I see a guy in his 20s who is very beautiful, and I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't kick that out of bed. But 20 and under, I'm sorry, they just seem...not finished yet...to my eye.

I think guys hit their max sexiness in their 40s.

Oh frick yes.

And sooooooooooo much better in bed.