NationStates Jolt Archive

More like, what do I squeeze into it. Well, take a look...it's not like anything's hidden in this thing! *laughs*

Positions? Positions. Interesting topic...reminds me of a thread we had around here once...

Tell me the truth...does this fabric feel like silk, or like acrylic?

*glances at Dobbs* Hey...are you sure we want Jimmy to leave? The rowdy's usually try busting in around now...do you have a new bouncer in mind?

*sips Corona*

That was a good thread. :D

Silk or Acrylic, eh? Well, let me see...

*places hand on your thigh, slowly rubbing it down towards your calves*

I'm getting an idea... need to feel the entire suit though...

*tries to sip beer without hand trembling too much*

Dobbs...looks like you've got a groupy :D

That was a good thread. :D

Silk or Acrylic, eh? Well, let me see...

*places hand on your thigh, slowly rubbing it down towards your calves*

I'm getting an idea... need to feel the entire suit though...

*tries to sip beer without hand trembling too much*

*stands up, with the pretense of needing to stretch her legs...and coincidentally allowing for more access to the rest of the suit*

Yeah, that was a great thread...

So tell me something interesting...*takes a sip*

Damn this beer is tasting fine...

*takes a sip of store-brand diet cola*

*stares*


...What?

*takes a sip of store-brand diet cola*

*stares*


...What?

Oh, well look at you, Mr. I'mtoogoodforalcohol!

I bet you think you're better than me, huh? Well you're wrong! You're dead wrong. Wrong wrong wrong!

*finishes bloody mary*
*chugs a bottle of tequila*
*chokes on worm*
*vomits everywhere*




Oh, you're so wrong.

*stands up, with the pretense of needing to stretch her legs...and coincidentally allowing for more access to the rest of the suit*

Yeah, that was a great thread...

So tell me something interesting...*takes a sip*

Damn this beer is tasting fine...

*hand 'accidentally' brushes up behind you as stand*

Interesting you say...

*stands slightly for better suit access*

Hmm... I'm definitely thinking 'silk'...

Interesting... well, someone did send me a picture of one of my vehicles going up in flames just a little while ago... it was a bit of a blast from the past, but it was kind of symbolic nonetheless...

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w162/mikesburg/201RIP.jpg

*calls number*

*calls number*

Good Luck! It's a dead company now.

*shrugs*

Good Luck! It's a dead company now.

*shrugs*

*finds that it has been replaced by phone sex hotlines*

*finds that it has been replaced by phone sex hotlines*

Well, then I'm glad it's been put to much better use! :D

Burning trucks! *thinks of protests, roadblocks, and other delights, leans back into Mike*

Damn, it's getting to be about that time again. I've got to get home and get some sleep:( *turns around for a nice, long hug*

Burning trucks! *thinks of protests, roadblocks, and other delights, leans back into Mike*

Damn, it's getting to be about that time again. I've got to get home and get some sleep:( *turns around for a nice, long hug*

Yeah, I was thinking the same. It's waaaaaay past bedtime here.

*huggin's*

I'm glad burnin' stuff put a smile on your face.

Later!

*tosses back pint*

*finishes Corona, waves goodbye, whispers some more in Mike's ear, then turns around and leaves*

Alright everybody, try to keep the place at least 'somewhat' clean... ninja's ain't cheap.

*stumbles through the barstools*

Shit.

*stumbles out the door*

Alright everybody, try to keep the place at least 'somewhat' clean... ninja's ain't cheap.

*stumbles through the barstools*

Shit.

*stumbles out the door*

Stumbling in both the physical and grammatical sense? You've outdone yourself, man.

You've outdone all of us.

*Walks into pub. Notices Ruffy, looking peculiarly redfaced, on the phone. Notices cleanliness of the room and the denizens, is mildly disoriented. Orders Blue Moon and smoked oysters. Winks at cute guy. Winks at Ruffy.*

*Walks into pub. Notices Ruffy, looking peculiarly redfaced, on the phone. Notices cleanliness of the room and the denizens, is mildly disoriented. Orders Blue Moon and smoked oysters. Winks at cute guy. Winks at Ruffy.*
*winks at ASD*

*is informed by Il Ruffino that the cute guy is actually the guy sitting next to me*

*pretend has something in his eye*

*does math homework*

.. what ever happened to my clothes..?

.. what ever happened to my clothes..?

Sorry, I got cold. Would you like them back?

Sorry, I got cold. Would you like them back?

I'm not sure..

*Tosses Ruffy a bag containing a blue jumpsuit in his size. It has numbers on the back. Winks. Buys Posi a Blue Moon. Buys Ruffy a 7-Up.*

*lifts head off bar an looks around*

lot

*Tosses Ruffy a bag containing a blue jumpsuit in his size. It has numbers on the back. Winks. Buys Posi a Blue Moon. Buys Ruffy a 7-Up.*

*wears blue jumpsuit but feel afraid of why it is numbered*drinks 7-up*winks*

Blue Moons all around. *winks.*

Blue Moons all around. *winks.*

i had too much as it is

*orders pizza*

Yes I've ordered pizza my friends.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d154/NRose222/mondo.jpg

So....its a pretty big pizza.

*orders pizza*

Yes I've ordered pizza my friends.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d154/NRose222/mondo.jpg

So....its a pretty big pizza.

*look's at it*

no thank you it's got those little fish thing on it

I like nachos and Coronas.

I like wings too- can we get an order of wings-1/2 Buffalo and 1/2 teriyaki?

*is still stood in the corner*

*stares visciously at the pizza*

*is still stood in the corner*

*stares visciously at the pizza*

*Stares visciously at RPP. Looks meaningfully at pitcher of ice water.*

*takes a vicious stare to the face*

*doesn't move*

*takes a vicious stare to the face*

*doesn't move*

*moves towards ice water. picks up pitcher. moves meaningfully towards RPP.*

*takes deja-vu to the face*

*doesn't move*

*takes deja-vu to the face*

*doesn't move*

*throws a grenade at RPP to see what happens*

*throws a grenade at RPP to see what happens*

*takes grenade to the face*

*twitches*

Ice-water please.

*Pours ice water on the twitching remains of RPP. Wonders how long it will take for him to regenerate. Gives Imperial Isa high five and a Blue Moon.*

*takes grenade to the face*

*twitches*

Ice-water please.

*falls off bar stool slowly makes his way to the grenade, pick it up an look's at it*

*hic* oh forgot to pull this

*pulls out pin then look's at it then the grenade *

oh s*hic*

*throw grenade out the window*

*Pours ice water on the twitching remains of RPP. Wonders how long it will take for him to regenerate. Gives Imperial Isa high five and a Blue Moon.*

*high five back ,takes Blue Moon*

thanks

*Dobbsworld appears, picture-in-picture, on the TV screen mounted on the wall in the corner*

Heya. I'm still at work, here. I'll drop by later on.

Oh, by the way - here's (http://www.vfmii.com/progressive/review2.php?project=10013162) something I was working on a little while back...
Enjoy!

(See, Ruffy? This is what doctoring comic books leads to)

*pops off screen*

*falls out the door and starts to sing as they head down the road*

<Begins to suspect that the virgin margaritas he's been having aren't actually virgins.>

<Begins to suspect that the virgin margaritas he's been having aren't actually virgins.>
Let me see that...

*takes a sip*

Dude, this is just tequila with salt round the rim and a lime on the side.

*Pours ice water on the twitching remains of RPP. Wonders how long it will take for him to regenerate. Gives Imperial Isa high five and a Blue Moon.*

*stares menacingly*

*stares menacingly*
Dude, where'd all your posts go?

*re-appears on screen*

Oh yeah, here's another one for you:

http://www.vfmii.com/progressive/review2.php?project=10013047b

Yes, these are all photomontages built for hotel properties. That's what I do for a living these days. I write the scripts, record & edit the voice-overs, and create the visuals from photos provided by the hotel owners (along with stock photos) while throwing a whole lotta transitions and effects into the composition.

The head of our tech department recently came by my desk to stand and stare at one of the things I've been working on and asked how I manage to make the stuff I make (he has some cursory knowledge of the software I use), and without batting a lash I said it was all due to my drug use.

He then wondered aloud whether there was some way I could conceivably write off the drugs as a legitimate business expense... leave it to me to find an employer who'd be more inclined to give me a urine test to make sure I've got drugs in my system...

Dude, where'd all your posts go?

*takes a question to the face*

*doesn't move*

*takes a question to the face*

*doesn't move*

would blowing up the pub get you moving ?

*takes a question to the face*

*doesn't move*
Beer? I'd let you get it yourself, but you appear to have stalled.

*smokes a blunt as reccomended in Athar*

*smokes a blunt as reccomended in Athar*
*pieces fall into place*

*smokes a blunt as reccomended in Athar*


*takes Ruffino's ciggarette and stubs it out on Ruffino's forehead*

No.

*crosses arms*

*relays message to command*

Sir, we have movement, over...

*takes Ruffino's ciggarette and stubs it out on Ruffino's forehead*

No.

*crosses arms*

*blows smoke in RPP's face*
*picks blunt up*
*lights*
*puff*

Yes.

*exhales*

*relays message to command*

Sir, we have movement, over...


*takes message to the face*

*stares at The Tribes Of Longton*

*blows smoke in RPP's face*
*picks blunt up*
*lights*
*puff*

Yes.

*exhales*

*fetches fire extinguisher and empties it into Ruffino's face*

*relays message to command*

Sir, we have movement, over...

say again

say again
He's looking right at me, what do I do S...hang on, you don't sound right...

He's looking right at me, what do I do S...hang on, you don't sound right...

it was the shock, move away from RPP very slowly

it was the shock, move away from RPP very slowly
Yeah, but your accent's all messed up...nevermind, am disengaging the target, relocating to a safer position behind that plant pot

Yeah, but your accent's all messed up...nevermind, am disengaging the target, relocating to a safer position behind that plant pot

er it's my first day

*stares at the bar*

<Changes jukebox to "New Noise" by the Refused.>
<Attempts to mosh with R-P-P>

Er guys...you know I invent things and stuff such as the coffee dispensing robot janitor?

Well he is now doing something to the plant pot over there....

*takes a windmill punch to the face*

*smiles*

This thread has been marked in moderation! quick, put in your last spammy posts before its closed!

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Quick barricade the door! *coverts janitor bot into kill bot* Go kill bot! Go!

*strolls into pub*

*places sign above bar;*

Thank-you for your patronage!

It's been swell!

*strolls out of pub*

Quick barricade the door! *coverts janitor bot into kill bot* Go kill bot! Go!

Yes comrades in arms! Sharpen your pool sticks! Boil the water! Polish the pool balls! Ready the scalding beef gravy! We will not go down without a fight!

*stares meancingly at teh m0dz*

*Is awoken from drunken stupor*

Teh mods are coming? Toodle-loo!

*hops out window*

Quick we can use that crappy premium stuff for molotovs, no mods' getting in here unless he's a charred piss-stained corpse!!

Quick we can use that crappy premium stuff for molotovs, no mods' getting in here unless he's a charred piss-stained corpse!!
So they're allowed inside in their true forms?

*ducks*

reckon mine'll be a triple then. with an umbrella. and some nuts, got any pork scratchings?

*eyes optics*

*calculates maneuvre required for quick swipe*

*opens bag in readiness*

*awaits distraction of mod raid*

*stares at pint and whistles softly*

*Wanders in*

Can I get a coke please?

*Eyes Infinite Revolution's peanuts and wonders how to steal them*

(Pours coke for Phil)

Here ya go.

(Pours coke for Phil)

Here ya go.

Ta.

*Selects Bruce Springsteen on the jukebox*

:: Drinks Margarita::

Er guys...you know I invent things and stuff such as the coffee dispensing robot janitor?

Well he is now doing something to the plant pot over there....*reappears from behind plant pot, clothes a little skew-whiff*

Yeah, um, I had a really good time. I'll call you soon!

*adjusts clothing*

Mines a tequila sunrise. <_<

*reappears from behind plant pot, clothes a little skew-whiff*

Yeah, um, I had a really good time. I'll call you soon!

*adjusts clothing*

Mines a tequila sunrise. <_<:eek: You cheated on Neo Kervoskia!
Wait...does it count as cheating if it's with a robot?

:eek: You cheated on Neo Kervoskia!
Wait...does it count as cheating if it's with a robot?
The law of the fleshlight says no. ¬_¬

Sexbot army, here I come!

*begins furiously designing on a napkin*

*Waddles in and shoots the jukebox.*

*orders bottled water*

Well, the mods aren't going to invade...for now, at least.

The law of the fleshlight says no. ¬_¬

Sexbot army, here I come!

*begins furiously designing on a napkin*Make mine really well endowed.

Well, the mods aren't going to invade...for now, at least.

Make mine really well endowed.
I'll model it on a Henry Hoover:
http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/liquidations/henry_hoover.jpg
That's right, it's coming out of his nose ^_^

Lol, hilarious.

*Continues preparing molotovs in preparation for attack of dalek like pleasure droids* One for the 'tov, 2 for me, one for the 'tov, 4 for me, 6 for me, 8 for me, and LIGHT.

*Continues preparing molotovs in preparation for attack of dalek like pleasure droids* One for the 'tov, 2 for me, one for the 'tov, 4 for me, 6 for me, 8 for me, and LIGHT.
It won't be an attack so much as a seduction :cool:

Ta.

*Selects Bruce Springsteen on the jukebox*

What does that mean? :confused: (is filthy Yank)

What does that mean? :confused: (is filthy Yank)

ta means thanks

What does that mean? :confused: (is filthy Yank)
Selecting Bruce Springsteen in England is the first part of an intricate mating ritual.

*backs into the pub, holding a big cardboard box*

Hey folks! I've got a present for everyone! *sets the box down on a nearby table, and starts ripping it open*

Since Cluichistan decided that our little pub was spam, and Moderation (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=523043) worthy, I've imortalised him as a patron saint of the pub!

*lifts out a large dartboard, with an image of Cluichistan on it, and affixes it to the wall*

Have at 'em! *grins, and departs, conscientiously taking the garbage with her*

*backs into the pub, holding a big cardboard box*

Hey folks! I've got a present for everyone! *sets the box down on a nearby table, and starts ripping it open*

Since Cluichistan decided that our little pub was spam, and Moderation worthy, I've imortalised him as a patron saint of the pub!

*lifts out a large dartboard, with an image of Cluichistan on it, and affixes it to the wall*

Have at 'em! *grins, and departs, conscientiously taking the garbage with her*Where are the darts?
Oh, well.
<Begins making out with dartboard.>

Ah, it IS HOt in HErre.

Anyone seen a fire extinguisher I am sweating profusely and am in danger of becoming somewhat singed.

Where are the darts?
Oh, well.
<Begins making out with dartboard.>

*runs back into the pub*

Damn, sorry folks...I forgot the da---

*sees Jello making out with the dartboard*

What the holy hell? *snatches him away, and hands him the box of darts*

Jello..you really need to find someone else to make out with...
*exits, post haste*

*runs back into the pub*

Damn, sorry folks...I forgot the da---

*sees Jello making out with the dartboard*

What the holy hell? *snatches him away, and hands him the box of darts*

Jello..you really need to find someone else to make out with...
*exits, post haste*Ah, thank you.
<Begins making out with darts.>

*yells from the street*

The NS PubTM is not liable for any injury caused by the insanity of its patrons, staff, or robotic entities.

Ah, thank you.
<Begins making out with darts.>

*tries to imagine how this works*

*fails*

:p

Ah, thank you.
<Begins making out with darts.>
Seriously, I didn't design the secks bots for their looks.

http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/liquidations/henry_hoover.jpg

Look into Henry's eyes, enticing and exotic...

Look everybody, a little doggy followed me back from the Outer Ionosphere:

http://dispourquoipapa.free.fr/imgfiches/laika.jpg

It's collar says Laika, and it keeps drinking all my vodka. Anyone know how to say 'roll over' in Russian?

*reenters pub, with a steaming mug of genmai-cha (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genmaicha), nods to Dobbs and takes a seat*

Nice dog.

*sips*

*walks in with bewildered expression*

Wow... the little pub won!


*does little dance*

Okay... I need a drink.


*gets a drink*

Hey Mike! Yup, our buddy Cluich complained to the landlord that we were causing a nuisance, but he just didn't understand the importance of keeping all your spam in one place. *nods to some shelves behind the bar, groaning with the weight of can upon can of Spam*

*As the dog stares at him he realises his mistake of rubbing BBQ sause over himself to sooth his crispy, tasty skin*

*Walks into pub.* I leave for a minute and everything goes to Hell. I hate the California DMV. I need a drink, gimme Blue Moon... no, wait ... a Long Island iced tea .... and some deep fried artichoke hearts. *Mutters darkly about California DMV.*

*Walks into pub.* I leave for a minute and everything goes to Hell. I hate the California DMV. I need a drink, gimme Blue Moon... no, wait ... a Long Island iced tea .... and some deep fried artichoke hearts. *Mutters darkly about California DMV.*

I am going to HAVE to try some of these deep fried artichoke hearts at some point. Are they battered?

I am going to HAVE to try some of these deep fried artichoke hearts at some point. Are they battered?

Yes. I originally had them at a club in Fresno, California, of all places. They're really pretty tasty.

Hey Mike! Yup, our buddy Cluich complained to the landlord that we were causing a nuisance, but he just didn't understand the importance of keeping all your spam in one place. *nods to some shelves behind the bar, groaning with the weight of can upon can of Spam*

Old Man Cluich always making a scene at city hall. Shoulda known.

*sips unnamed drink*

I kinda wondered about that. I assumed if there was a problem, the visiting mod would have said something about it...

Well, my sign above the bar still stands. :)

Okay, I need a drink with a name.

B-52's all around!

http://www.ppl.nl/100years/images/laika.jpg

Laika keeps growling whenever anyone mentions Cluichistan. Look, she's gone back inside her lil' space-dog house. Awww.

Barkeep, give me two shots of Stolichnaya. One in a shotglass, the other in a waterbowl.

Ah, this is a happy day. I feel like it's a Christmas special or something. Except I dont' have to buy a bunch of shit for people.

*knocks back B-52*

More Drinks for everyone!

*wonders how much that will cost him*




Jello... Get away from the bloody dartboard... it's Dobb's dog's job to attack that image!

*Offers Laika a plate of deep fried artichoke hearts. Offers Cluichistan a warm, flat Blue Moon, or, if he's agreeable, a cold, fresh Blue Moon with a good head.*

*Puts picture of Katganistan on bar. Lights candle in front of it along with an offering of deep fried artichoke hearts.*

B-52's all around!
Oooh, I'll definitely have about four or five of those!

Dogs drinking vodka! This place is AWESOME!

I think the problem is that Cluich feels left out. Perhaps he needs a personal invitation? We could have someone get the stick out, and mix him a drink!

*Offers Laika a plate of deep fried artichoke hearts. Offers Cluichistan a warm, flat Blue Moon, or, if he's agreeable, a cold, fresh Blue Moon with a good head.*

Careful about offering him anything with 'head' in it. He might take it the wrong way :D

*Returns with hockey mask and tire iron*

Hey, weren't we supposed to brawl wit' teh mods?

I sort of thought Cluich made a couple of visits already?

Maybe he's insulted there's no dance floor or something?

*shrugs*

Orders 'slippery nipple'.

*Returns with hockey mask and tire iron*

Hey, weren't we supposed to brawl wit' teh mods?

No no. Mods are our friends now.

Have a B-52.

No no. Mods are our friends now.

Have a B-52.

*Holds tire iron to chest*
*looks around*




*pounds drink without using hands*

I sort of thought Cluich made a couple of visits already?

Maybe he's insulted there's no dance floor or something?



Yes, I've seen him around...perhaps he was expecting nymphs to copulate with him on the bar?

Actually, I rather like that idea. Where ARE the nymphs anyway?

China whites! Three of them please!

Looks like Laika's owners have shown up at the door. Too bad they can't peel their eyes off of Jill St. John for a minute. Sheesh, these dead former Communist leaders today.

http://www.cah.utexas.edu/photojournalism/graphics/photojournalists/mcnamee/bigpics/McNamee_03.jpg

*Laika runs over to Brezhnev, sniffs shoes*

Looks like Laika's owners have shown up at the door. Too bad they can't peel their eyes off of Jill St. John for a minute. Sheesh, these dead former Communist leaders today.

http://www.cah.utexas.edu/photojournalism/graphics/photojournalists/mcnamee/bigpics/McNamee_03.jpg

*Laika runs over to Brezhnev, sniffs shoes*

*Lifts leg.*

*Lifts leg.*

I had to re-read that a couple of times.


And then I noticed the bolded part of the quoted text.

*shakes head.*

I need a stiffer drink.

*Laika runs over to Brezhnev, sniffs shoes*

Brezhnev! The sly old fox! He's just dreaming about getting all up in that thang...

Yeah well, you gotta keep your eye on these jokers, 'cos pretty soon they start bringin' their creepy friends with them, and suddenly there's Richard Nixon stinkin' up the place. Besides, Brezhnev's a chain-smoker. Check out the ashtray.

http://timesonline.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/brezhnev_and_nixon.jpg

Wait...those don't look like they've been smoked....?

Someone get the corpses out of here!

Someone hasn't built a robot to remove corpses yet?


Who's in charge of that? Londim?

Yeah well, you gotta keep your eye on these jokers, 'cos pretty soon they start bringin' their creepy friends with them, and suddenly there's Richard Nixon stinkin' up the place. Besides, Brezhnev's a chain-smoker. Check out the ashtray.

http://timesonline.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/brezhnev_and_nixon.jpg

When were they invited? I thought this was members only. And smoke free (except for Ruffy, who, clearly, is law unto himself). *sidles toward door.*

*streches and yawns*

Well folks, bedtime...be good...

*waves and wanders off into the night*

Congratulations Mr Brechnev on your recent X Factor win- I voted for you every week and still am doing, or I may be calling the take-away I don't know. Anyway can you see to stopping your little dog chewing my spleen- I fear that a thoroughly chewed spleen my harm my chances with the ladies- *leans forward*it's where I keep my special love powder.

And now I'm stuck... help me.

Congratulations Mr Brechnev on your recent X Factor win- I voted for you every week and still am doing, or I may be calling the take-away I don't know. Anyway can you see to stopping your little dog chewing my spleen- I fear that a thoroughly chewed spleen my harm my chances with the ladies- *leans forward*it's where I keep my special love powder.

And now I'm stuck... help me.

You keep special love powder near your spleen?

*looks askance at South Adrea*

Just keep your special love powder away from my drink. It's been nothing but trouble for me around here.


On 2nd thoughts, I'm just going to take my drink and go.

*takes drink and goes*

*enter pub through back door ,gets a bottle *

can't stay got to do samething

*leaves by same door*

Congratulations spleen you've done it again.

You'd feel my wrath if I wasn't so terrified of someone snatching the motherload.

That and being stuck and a giant, walking spare rib.

*Waddles in and shoots the jukebox.*

Hey! I was listening to that.

*Goes and talks to Henry Hoover*

*tries to imagine how this works*

*fails*

:pWould you like me to demonstrate my technique?

Seriously, I didn't design the secks bots for their looks.

http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/liquidations/henry_hoover.jpg

Look into Henry's eyes, enticing and exotic...Hm. I can see the value of a suction machine, but can I make the air go the other way, too?

Hm. I can see the value of a suction machine, but can I make the air go the other way, too?

That'd be a must for such a product.

*streaks naked through the pub, tossing cans of Spam about*

What? You didn't catch one? Here, have some.

http://www.alaska.net/~royce/spam/spam-collection-2005-04.jpg

*streaks naked through the pub, tossing cans of Spam about*

What? You didn't catch one? Here, have some.

http://www.alaska.net/~royce/spam/spam-collection-2005-04.jpgQuick everyone, the darts! He's naked, so you know what to aim for.

Would you like me to demonstrate my technique?

Hm. I can see the value of a suction machine, but can I make the air go the other way, too?
A little time and effort might allow this. Also, he comes with a rigid attachment if needed.
http://www.showerright.co.uk/HRV200_small.jpg
(plastic headpiece shaped to individual's purpose. This one owned by very strange lady)

*walks in see and hears what going on walks back out*

*notices pub hasn't been moved*

Let's not spam it. *nods*

*gets drunk*

*Drinks*

Where is the jukebox?

*walks in*

someone out some lead into it an i was not me this time

*takes his seat at his bar stool an places M1 on bar*

Evenin' all! Good to see the finest traditions of NSG are being upheld here.
*dons novelty hat and draws pint of... well... I haven't decided yet, something nice, anyway*

someone out some lead into it an i was not me this time
i don't think the barman is allowed to serve folk as are already inebriated.

i don't think the barman is allowed to serve folk as are already inebriated.

he don't go near me i just help myself

*lurches into pub. Orders Blue Moon and deep fried artichoke hearts. Feels cholesterol rising. Orders more deep fried artichoke hearts. Winks at Ruffy. Offers warm, flat, day old Blue Moon to Cluichistan. Buys Guiness for Ruffy and Imperial Isa.*

Evenin' all! Good to see the finest traditions of NSG are being upheld here.
*dons novelty hat and draws pint of... well... I haven't decided yet, something nice, anyway*

*Serves a pint of finest Guinness*

*enters and sits covertly in corner*

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/TP4CCCC/emo-beer.gif

he don't go near me i just help myself

well no worries then :)

*notices pub hasn't been moved*

Let's not spam it. *nods*

*gets drunk*

There's a TG waiting for you, Ruffy.

*lurches into pub. Orders Blue Moon and deep fried artichoke hearts. Feels cholesterol rising. Orders more deep fried artichoke hearts. Winks at Ruffy. Offers warm, flat, day old Blue Moon to Cluichistan. Buys Guiness for Ruffy and Imperial Isa.*
*barman slowly hands over the glass, then backs away fast*
thanks ASD
well no worries then :)

first time he came near me

Someone hasn't built a robot to remove corpses yet?


Who's in charge of that? Londim?

Oh now I'm the official inventor of NS Pub. Fine I'll build your corpse removing robot! *builds* There are you happy? I'll even throw in another machine! *build jukebox dispensing robot*

*walks on in*

Hey, look at all the robots! Pretty soon, there's not going to be enough room for customers...

*looks for chair robot*

*look's at all the robots*

i think i go change and bring back some better weapons i can use if i need to deal with them

*goes out the back door*

Londim, can you invent me a hoarde of hard-looking but incredibly stupid warrior robots? I want to look all 'ard in front of my peers.

*walks in back door dress in Urban camo and carrying a rifle and wearing a sidearm*

right first robot that gets out of hand ,gets filled with plasma or depleted uranium rounds

*sit back at his barstool*

has someone seen Tasha she meant to start today

Hey guys, I just got carded out front by some kinda ro-

*notices plethora of robots*

Oh.

*scratches head*

Anybody tried pulling a Kirk on these things yet? Maybe we can burn out their memory banks if we do some improv routines, or introduce them to heavy petting or something.

Anybody tried pulling a Kirk on these things yet? Maybe we can burn out their memory banks if we do some improv routines, or introduce them to heavy petting or something.
Tried that one, didn't work.
http://jovan.ru/pics2/bender.gif

i don't like the look of that one

*points*
http://www.yetnet.ch/rm/id/download/TheTerminatorDoF-01.jpg

*in walks a woman*

theres Tasha my barmaid

i don't like the look of that one

*points*
http://www.yetnet.ch/rm/id/download/TheTerminatorDoF-01.jpg
Jim? Nah, he's sound. Salt of the earth, that one, real nice fella. Well, until you get too much whiskey in him, then it's all "Kill all the humans! Skynet rules supreme! For great justice" and you've gotta let him stay at yours so he don't beat up Annie no more.

Poor Jimmy.

*slips on motor oil slick left by a careless robot in front of the bar*

Ack-!

*mutters curses under breath*

Careless robot...or deliberate attempt on your life with intent to conceal the crime?

[/paranoia]

Jim? Nah, he's sound. Salt of the earth, that one, real nice fella. Well, until you get too much whiskey in him, then it's all "Kill all the humans! Skynet rules supreme! For great justice" and you've gotta let him stay at yours so he don't beat up Annie no more.

Poor Jimmy.

you get that as whiskey really not good for them, take july 3 2012 a whole lot of them got drunk on it, had to shoot them all

you get that as whiskey really not good for them, take july 3 2012 a whole lot of them got drunk on it, had to shoot them all
Messing around with time travel, were they? Yeah, it's an old robot gag is that. There's just something about robot humour I just don't get, maybe my binary's not as good as it was...

Messing around with time travel, were they? Yeah, it's an old robot gag is that. There's just something about robot humour I just don't get, maybe my binary's not as good as it was...

just take a look a the footage

*opens a portable dvd player*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqOFppq5nsc

three months to fix up what they did

Uh-oh, I see some Robotmen over by the pool table.

http://www.microforever.com/images/Robotman-1.jpg

This could get messy. I'll see you later.

*slinks out back way*

Uh-oh, I see some Robotmen over by the pool table.

http://www.microforever.com/images/Robotman-1.jpg

This could get messy. I'll see you later.

*slinks out back way*

back way a dead end

just take a look a the footage

*opens a portable dvd player*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqOFppq5nsc

three months to fix up what they did
Wow. Think they've been playing too much CS:S...

Dobbs, don't worry about those guys. They're all guys in their chests and talk, no action.

According to this schematic, they're actually being piloted by crude cartoon cariactures.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i317/estabanyo/biotron.jpg

My God, it's worse than I thought. Who screwed up the intel? I want their goddamn badges for this! :eek:

Wow. Think they've been playing too much CS:S...
Dobbs, don't worry about those guys. They're all guys in their chests and talk, no action.
jim just told me he saw his old college roommate in that footage, he was really into it
My God, it's worse than I thought. Who screwed up the intel? I want their goddamn badges for this! :eek:

don't look at me all i do is terrify the barman thats why i hired Tasha

Sorry, I went looking for a chair robot, and then some bartender robot told me that they don't serve my kind around here. :mad:

Damnit, I'm like a regular around here. This has to stop.


Londim: I'm sorry okay, don't worry about the corpse building robot. I'll start dragging the corpses out myself.

*swings bat at bartender robot. Pours pint of Keith's. Sits on remains of bartender robot.*

Beer, please!

All this debatin' is making me thirsty.

*shoots four robots with plasma rifle*

Tasha a can of coke please

A little time and effort might allow this. Also, he comes with a rigid attachment if needed.
http://www.showerright.co.uk/HRV200_small.jpg
(plastic headpiece shaped to individual's purpose. This one owned by very strange lady)Ooh. Okay, I'm sold.
(I'll need extra attachment sets.)

Ooh. Okay, I'm sold.
(I'll need extra attachment sets.)

when did people start to sell thing's here?

*drinks from can of coke*

*streaks naked through the pub, tossing cans of Spam about*

What? You didn't catch one? Here, have some.

[IG]http://www.alaska.net/~royce/spam/spam-collection-2005-04.jpg[/IMG]

Stop the image spam. :rolleyes:

*Enters Pub. Notices Ruffy and pats him on shoulder. Notices all the robots. Shudders. Builds robot to end all robots.* There, that should solve the problem. *Sits at bar, orders Blue Moon and artichoke hearts. Winks.*

*walks in looks around, shrugs and takes a seat*

Bartender, one Mike's, please. Apple, if you have it.

*Sits down trying to rub the blood off his tattered scrubs*

Pack of Red Apples and a Screwdriver that'll go through my skull!

robot hunting session now open came get your plasma rifle or AP50 sidearm that fires depleted uranium rounds

robot hunting session now open came get your plasma rifle or AP50 sidearm that fires depleted uranium rounds

*The robot to end all robots joins you, cracking his titanium alloy knuckles, eager to crack titanium alloy heads.*

*The robot to end all robots joins you, cracking his titanium alloy knuckles, eager to crack titanium alloy heads.*

good help

*pours plasma into robots getting too near the bar*

good help

*pours plasma into robots getting too near the bar*

*T.R.T.E.A.R. removes the head of one of the near robots, hefts it, closes one eye and, in perfect bowling form, hurls it at a flying V of robots. They topple in a mass of robotic arms and legs, writhing together. He leaps into the mass and begins to dance, rather like a robot mosh pit.*

*T.R.T.E.A.R. removes the head of one of the near robots, hefts it, closes one eye and, in perfect bowling form, hurls it at a flying V of robots. They topple in a mass of robotic arms and legs, writhing together. He leaps into the mass and begins to dance, rather like a robot mosh pit.*

now thats funny
ASD you made one good robot an i see pub in safe hands with him

Tasha take messages and put ASD drinks on my bill, i'm off to find where they keep caming from

'yes sir'

*head out the door taking out more robots on the way out*

*walks in, collapses and goes to sleep on the floor*

Sorry, I went looking for a chair robot, and then some bartender robot told me that they don't serve my kind around here. :mad:

Damnit, I'm like a regular around here. This has to stop.


Londim: I'm sorry okay, don't worry about the corpse building robot. I'll start dragging the corpses out myself.

*swings bat at bartender robot. Pours pint of Keith's. Sits on remains of bartender robot.*

Wait I didn't build that bartender robot......OMG they're reproducing! :eek:

*walks in, collapses and goes to sleep on the floor*

*walks over and checks pulse*

Ok, still alive.

*sits back down ignoring the nearby battle*

I need moar booze!

I need moar booze!
I'll get it, I'll get it...
*walks in, collapses and goes to sleep on the floor*
*Stumbles over drunk and sleeping Kanabia*

What the... Aaah!

*Spills four pints of beer over Ifreann*

:eek: Whoopsie

*walks in, collapses and goes to sleep on the floor*
*kicks*

*runs away*

:)

*wraps stethoscope back around neck*

My work is never finished *deep sigh*

*wraps stethoscope back around neck*

My work is never finished *deep sigh*

You're listening to the booze? o.0

Rum!

*kicks*

*runs away*

:)

:(

:(

Good thing we've got that counselling robot over there....

:(

's what happens when you sleep in the doorway...

*Offers another drink*

Stop the image spam. :rolleyes:

What image spam?

http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~ddgarcia/gifs/CreamOfSpam.jpg

:p

Good thing we've got that counselling robot over there....

*Eats counselling robot*

Thanks, I feel a lot better now. :)

's what happens when you sleep in the doorway...

*Offers another drink*

But I was tired...

*accepts drink*

But I was tired...

*accepts drink*
THAT'S NOH HEXCUSE TO STOPH DRINKHING! HEEHH!

*Drinks heavily*

THAT'S NOH HEXCUSE TO STOPH DRINKHING! HEEHH!

*Drinks heavily*

It wasn't an excuse, it was lack of alcohol that lead to the collapse, see... :p

Who wants me to know where they live?

Who wants me to know where they live?

No one :p

No one :p

.. but I have stamps and envelopes! :(

Good thing we've got that counselling robot over there....
*walks in an blows up counselling robot *
Wait I didn't build that bartender robot......OMG they're reproducing! :eek:

not no more

*hits detontor button as he sits at his stool*

.. but I have stamps and envelopes! :(

You like sending mail, don't you :)

*leaves with his barmaid*

ta means thanks

Okay. Kewl.

*Eats counselling robot*

Thanks, I feel a lot better now. :)



But I was tired...

*accepts drink*

Good thing it was made of chocolate too.

*walks in an blows up counselling robot *


not no more

*hits detontor button as he sits at his stool*

:eek: Murderer! Builds indestructable robots to spite Imperial Isa.

:eek: Murderer! Builds indestructable robots to spite Imperial Isa.

*blows it up with canister bomb as he walks back in with his barmaid*

made by man can be blown up

*sits back at his stool*

They called me the Leather Apron
They called me the smiling Jack
They prayed to the heavens above
that I would never ever come back

Who wants me to know where they live?
I do, but only if you mail me some anthrax. I did a line in high school, now I need my daily fix :(

Someone beer me.

I do, but only if you mail me some anthrax. I did a line in high school, now I need my daily fix :(

Someone beer me.

TG me your sexy address you sexy wild sexy boy.

*blows it up with canister bomb as he walks back in with his barmaid*

made by man can be blown up

*sits back at his stool*

They called me the Leather Apron
They called me the smiling Jack
They prayed to the heavens above
that I would never ever come back

Man you just angered Mr Roboto. Just beacuse he looks like a robot doesn't mean he is one! Those metal things are braces!

I do, but only if you mail me some anthrax. I did a line in high school, now I need my daily fix :(

Someone beer me.

*Throws beer at Tribes face*

Good thing it was made of chocolate too.

Chocolate? :eek:

TG me your sexy address you sexy wild sexy boy.
Wait - internet anonymity or deadly bacteria? Decisions decisions...
*Throws beer at Tribes face*
ARGH! THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!

*blinks*

Did you put some vodka in that? I've had drinks thrown in my face before and I recognise that burn.

Man you just angered Mr Roboto. Just beacuse he looks like a robot doesn't mean he is one! Those metal things are braces!

what are you talking about

As a strange twist on this thread, I'm actually drinking right now. It's my parent's wedding anniversary and they've given me some decent champagne.

Hopefully it's a change from my usual drinking habits and I won't now down a bottle of gin and pass out, not before doing many things I'll regret tomorrow.

As a strange twist on this thread, I'm actually drinking right now. It's my parent's wedding anniversary and they've given me some decent champagne.

Hopefully it's a change from my usual drinking habits and I won't now down a bottle of gin and pass out, not before doing many things I'll regret tomorrow.

That's how this whole thread started...

Some of us had been actually drinking just before posting. (Well, I had been, anyway.)


It was all good. :)

Wait - internet anonymity or deadly bacteria? Decisions decisions...

ARGH! THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!

*blinks*

Did you put some vodka in that? I've had drinks thrown in my face before and I recognise that burn.

*Licks*

Hmm... Yup, Finlandia vodka even. Tasty.

As a strange twist on this thread, I'm actually drinking right now. It's my parent's wedding anniversary and they've given me some decent champagne.

Hopefully it's a change from my usual drinking habits and I won't now down a bottle of gin and pass out, not before doing many things I'll regret tomorrow.

i'll do that tonight and no one would know what i did

Chocolate? :eek:

Yes! Chocolate!
Wait - internet anonymity or deadly bacteria? Decisions decisions...

ARGH! THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!

*blinks*

Did you put some vodka in that? I've had drinks thrown in my face before and I recognise that burn.

Just a trace of it....
what are you talking about

Well you tried to blow up a robot but in fact got a guy called Mr Roboto. He is now suing....

Selecting Bruce Springsteen in England is the first part of an intricate mating ritual.

Weird.

what suing me his toenail

If by that you mean suing you for millions of dollars then yes...

Well you tried to blow up a robot but in fact got a guy called Mr Roboto. He is now suing....

what suing me his toenail

Well you tried to blow up a robot but in fact got a guy called Mr Roboto. He is now suing....

Domo arigatou, Mr. Roboto. :p

If by that you mean suing you for millions of dollars then yes...

good luck theres no money where i live in the year 2027

i'll do that tonight and no one would know what i did
Well that would be silly.

FIRST RULE OF ATTENTION SEEKING: Never do something stupid unless people can see.

SECOND RULE OF ATTENTION SEEKING: Whee! Look at me! Look at me look at me look at me me me me me! *jumps on spot* MEEEEEEE! WHOO! *flashes*
Just a trace of it....
There were two shots in there, if I'm not mistaken. And something else I can't quite place...
That's how this whole thread started...
Good to see this started in the right spirit, then.

¬_¬

Well that would be silly.

FIRST RULE OF ATTENTION SEEKING: Never do something stupid unless people can see.

SECOND RULE OF ATTENTION SEEKING: Whee! Look at me! Look at me look at me look at me me me me me! *jumps on spot* MEEEEEEE! WHOO! *flashes*

did that last time now they run for the hills when they see me near boozes

Yes! Chocolate!
Mmmm... Chocolate :fluffle:
There were two shots in there, if I'm not mistaken. And something else I can't quite place...
*Licks*

That's either tabasco or you've gotten a new aftershave...

Good to see this started in the right spirit, then.

¬_¬
http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/music024.gif

Well that would be silly.

FIRST RULE OF ATTENTION SEEKING: Never do something stupid unless people can see.

SECOND RULE OF ATTENTION SEEKING: Whee! Look at me! Look at me look at me look at me me me me me! *jumps on spot* MEEEEEEE! WHOO! *flashes*

There were two shots in there, if I'm not mistaken. And something else I can't quite place...

Good to see this started in the right spirit, then.

¬_¬


Human Urine :)

Mmmm... Chocolate :fluffle:

specking of choclate TBD been around lately

Bartender I'll take a glass of your best wine.

Weird.
We sons of Albion are a diverse and eccentric bunch. For example, in Kent it's a common custom for men to ride camels on the sabbath. This custom originates from the original custom involving beavers, which have since become extinct.

We sons of Albion are a diverse and eccentric bunch. For example, in Kent it's a common custom for men to ride camels on the sabbath. This custom originates from the original custom involving beavers, which have since become extinct.

Damn it someone stole my camel!:mad: You silly person. In Kent camels have become our normal mode of transport:)

*goes over to new jukebox*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkw4jhDE1eQ

*goes back to his stool an starts to to talk to Tasha*

Ahhh.

*kicks back in booth seating near the back of the pub, whips out pipe full of green leafy goodness and applies flame*

i can't belive it, my mother just locked up the last of the alcohol in the house and as far as i can make out she's taken the key to bed with her. she thinks i have an alcohol problem, pah! what does she know? so... what can i get for .... *counts coins; tries mental arithmetic; counts fingers; takes off shoes, etc.* £1.78 then?

Human Urine :)
Ah, yes. I don't often taste that one, as I rarely urinate in girls' drinks before giving it to them and, I'd hope, the girls rarely urinate in their own drinks.
*Licks*

That's either tabasco or you've gotten a new aftershave...
Tobasco and urine? I'm intrigued...
did that last time now they run for the hills when they see me near boozes
Heh, so the desired effect was acheived. Kudos :D

*sweet pungent smoke rises in curls above my head*

Well Infinite Revolution, I don't know what one pound seventy-eight could buy you. Whatever it might be though, I'll guarantee you it'll either be a very small amount, or outright crap. Of course, you could just have some of what I'm having.

*puffs heartily*

Heh, so the desired effect was acheived. Kudos :D

boy did i :D

i can't belive it, my mother just locked up the last of the alcohol in the house and as far as i can make out she's taken the key to bed with her. she thinks i have an alcohol problem, pah! what does she know? so... what can i get for .... *counts coins; tries mental arithmetic; counts fingers; takes off shoes, etc.* £1.78 then?
For £1.49 you can get 8 Ace. Read Viz for more details.

Dobbs, if you're being all friendly, pass the dutchie on the left-hand side?

For £1.49 you can get 8 Ace. Read Viz for more details.
can i drink one of those?

Dobbs, if you're being all friendly, pass the dutchie on the left-hand side?

i like all this sharing, keep passing ;P

specking of choclate TBD been around lately
No, she hasn't... Not for some time now :(

*Makes a toast to the queen of fluffles, TBD :fluffle: *

Tobasco and urine? I'm intrigued...

Hmm... Maybe someone had ingested a lot of tabasco... And I mean a lot!

No, she hasn't... Not for some time now :(

*Makes a toast to the queen of fluffles, TBD :fluffle: *

*Makes a toast to the queen of fluffles too, TBD :fluffle: *

i hope not one more of us gone

@IR - This (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eight_Ace) is what you need.
http://www.viz.co.uk/picture_viz_library/dir_0/viz_character_12.gif

@Gravlen - there's only one three-letter acronymed member involving chocolate and that's The Chocolate Goddess, who's also been AWOL for time.

As for tobasco urine...*shudder*

*downs pint to calm the shakes*

Wait - internet anonymity or deadly bacteria? Decisions decisions...

Orly?

Gimme.

I haves an awesomes idea.

We sons of Albion are a diverse and eccentric bunch. For example, in Kent it's a common custom for men to ride camels on the sabbath. This custom originates from the original custom involving beavers, which have since become extinct.

Kewl.

I need alcohol. I want to be as pissed as Tribesy.

*falls through front door in drunken stupor*

Hey guys...

I love the whole long weeked thing...

*stumbles*


What does it take to get a drink around here...


*falls over*

*wanders in and plops down on a stool at the bar*

Bombay Sapphire and tonic please, with lime!

God I hate these long, long weekends.

Hey, Mike! Get off the damn floor!

GIVE ME A REAL BEER!
LOOK, I'VE BECOME SO DESPERATE I'VE FOUND A CUP OF MILLER LITE!
http://images.spmiller.org/millersquirrel.jpg
Oh yeah also...
DEATH TO ALL SURFACERS!
VOTE MOBRA!!!

Blah, damn drunks in this place...I miss the good old days when the peanuts were screaming for freedom...

*stumbles outside*