NationStates Jolt Archive

*kicks open the door, because that's the kind of entrance she wants...watches as sunlight hits the cowering forms of the denizens-who-never-left*

Morning all...look, I managed to dress myself!

*salutes with Tim Hortons coffee from next door, one in each hand*

Hey Dobbs! Good to see ya...I brought you a coffee, double double...wasn't sure if you wanted one, but you can always toss it to Ruffy if it's not to your liking!

Wow I have such a hangover. :eek:

*walks in looking like they step out of a world war two movie an takes a seat*

Wild Turkey again for me

Well, I'm going to run home and fry up some eggs, with a side of bannock and saskatoon berry jam. I have no faith in this establishment to provide me with a wholesome meal. Anyone who wants to risk stepping into my lair is welcome to join me...I'll leave a trail of bannock crumbs so you can find your way.

Until later!

Well, I'm going to run home and fry up some eggs, with a side of bannock and saskatoon berry jam. I have no faith in this establishment to provide me with a wholesome meal. Anyone who wants to risk stepping into my lair is welcome to join me...I'll leave a trail of bannock crumbs so you can find your way.

Until later!

this place has a cook??

*starts drinking a new bottle*

*kicks open the door, because that's the kind of entrance she wants...watches as sunlight hits the cowering forms of the denizens-who-never-left*

Morning all...look, I managed to dress myself!

*salutes with Tim Hortons coffee from next door, one in each hand*

Hey Dobbs! Good to see ya...I brought you a coffee, double double...wasn't sure if you wanted one, but you can always toss it to Ruffy if it's not to your liking!

...do you have to displace the air so loudly while you walk? Gah...

*snatches coffee and throws it back in one toss*

Need more coffee.

*wanders off in search of more coffee*

*builds coffee machine* Look a coffee machine! Wait I hate coffee...where's my tea?!

Well, I'm going to run home and fry up some eggs, with a side of bannock and saskatoon berry jam. I have no faith in this establishment to provide me with a wholesome meal. Anyone who wants to risk stepping into my lair is welcome to join me...I'll leave a trail of bannock crumbs so you can find your way.

Until later!

*Curses chipper demeanour as Neese skips and jumps her way home*

*builds coffee machine* Look a coffee machine! Wait I hate coffee...where's my tea?!

you fool use my mess tin to boil some water for your tea

you fool use my mess tin to boil some water for your tea


Never I'm building a tea machine! *builds tea machine* Wait thats a damn smoothie machine!

...do you have to displace the air so loudly while you walk? Gah...

*snatches coffee and throws it back in one toss*

Need more coffee.

*wanders off in search of more coffee*
*Hands Irish Coffee*

Never I'm building a tea machine! *builds tea machine* Wait thats a damn smoothie machine!

What is this, the R&D department of Mr. Coffee? Quit buildin' machines, before my poor, aching, hungover frontal lobes take out a restraining order, already.

*Hands Irish Coffee*

You sir, are a saint.

What is this, the R&D department of Mr. Coffee? Quit buildin' machines, before my poor, aching, hungover frontal lobes take out a restraining order, already.

*builds anti restraining order machine* :p And I built you a coffee machine too.

*bursts in and sings at the top of her lungs*

The hills are alive....with the sound of Neesika... (yes, I really am this annoying in the morning)

*stops, and peers around in confusion*

What's with all the damn vending machines now?

You sir, are a saint.

Why yes, yes I am :)





*Snicker*

*bursts in and sings at the top of her lungs*

The hills are alive....with the sound of Neesika... (yes, I really am this annoying in the morning)

*stops, and peers around in confusion*

What's with all the damn vending machines now?

*throws a apple at Neesika *

i'm trying to drink before going to bed an i don't need that :p

*catches the apple and bites down hard, seeing Dobbs wince at the sound*

So, who's up for a game of tag?

not me i need to listen to Blood Red Sandman

*catches the apple and bites down hard, seeing Dobbs wince at the sound*

So, who's up for a game of tag?

...I've always suspected you to be a closet tag-hag...

*walks in pub, bowl of soup in hand. sits at corner booth*

Don't even think of offering me a drink. Way too early on a Sunday!

*looks around*

Christ, what the hell happened while I was gone?

Neesika, are you singing? How many whiskey sours did Dobbs have? Why are Anarche's pants tied to the top of the entranceway?

*shrugs. Eats soup.*

...I've always suspected you to be a closet tag-hag...

Hooo! Nice one!

Nothing closeted about this tag-hag baby! You're it! *runs away, giggling madly*

Neesika, are you singing? How many whiskey sours did Dobbs have? Why are Anarche's pants tied to the top of the entranceway?

*shrugs. Eats soup.*
I'm not sure if Dobbs left, I missed Anarch's anal-something-or-other and subsequent depantsing, and I'm reenacting the Sound of Music just to annoy the people with hangovers. Because that's what I do.

How'd the strike vote go?

Hooo! Nice one!

Nothing closeted about this tag-hag baby! You're it! *runs away, giggling madly*

*stands there, casting eyes about - fixes on Mike sitting at the bar, eating his soup*

*stealthily walks up behind him, and*

*pushes Mike's head forward, into bowl of soup*

Tag!

*runs away giggling*

Dobbs, you are the MASTER of tag!

I'm not sure if Dobbs left, I missed Anarch's anal-something-or-other and subsequent depantsing, and I'm reenacting the Sound of Music just to annoy the people with hangovers. Because that's what I do.

How'd the strike vote go?

We have our mandate!

It was a bit of a circus. The company is divided between unionized and non-unionized drivers and workers. Someone burst into the meeting who's been trying to get the union de-certified since it sprung up officially 3 years ago. He was booed out of the room.

We're not in a legal position to strike until May 22nd. But at least we now have a mandate from the workers to authorize the union to call a strike if the company doesn't take us seriously.

The company has been basically laughing at us this whole time. The principal officers cancel meetings so they can go on vacation. For people who are working on an hourly basis, they are offering 25c a year per year, for the next three years. (Meanwhile, min wage will be going up 75c per year.) They are taking away the flat rate system that they forced on the drivers a few years ago, so that now, that the drivers can make more money if they work harder, the deal is suddenly sour for the company. They are offering to pay for the liners in our hardhats, if we need a hardhat for something though.

It's one of the larger transportation companies in the eastern GTA, and it is one of the lowest paying. It's going to be interesting coming up to late May...

*stands there, casting eyes about - fixes on Mike sitting at the bar, eating his soup*

*stealthily walks up behind him, and*

*pushes Mike's head forward, into bowl of soup*

Tag!

*runs away giggling*

Aw for christs sake... I hate having my head dipped in soup.

*throws bowl at Dobbs*

*stands there, casting eyes about - fixes on Mike sitting at the bar, eating his soup*

*stealthily walks up behind him, and*

*pushes Mike's head forward, into bowl of soup*

Tag!

*runs away giggling*

*Laughs*
one more bottle

The last time, Vetalia and I were drafted into paying for it.

Counterfeiting that much money caused severe inflation.That reminds me did anyone ever [in husky voice] thank you guys for that?

:eek:

I doubt he'd object though...Yeah! Everyone gets a taste of me!

That reminds me did anyone ever [in husky voice] thank you guys for that?

Yeah! Everyone gets a taste of me!

Oh NOW the Jello Biafra shots are being offered? Hun, you've got to catch us when we're really drunk!

Oh NOW the Jello Biafra shots are being offered? Hun, you've got to catch us when we're really drunk!

Yeah.

Speaking of which, Jello: did you and Bill Cosby have a thing for a while or something? He kept pushing your 'pudding pops'...

Yeah.

Speaking of which, Jello: did you and Bill Cosby have a thing for a while or something? He kept pushing your 'pudding pops'...

*groans*

You do realize you're still 'it', dontcha Mike?

*hands Mike a towel to wipe away the little itty bitty bits of barley stuck in his hair*

Yeah.

Speaking of which, Jello: did you and Bill Cosby have a thing for a while or something? He kept pushing your 'pudding pops'...

that's my sign to go

*groans*

You do realize you're still 'it', dontcha Mike?

*hands Mike a towel to wipe away the little itty bitty bits of barley stuck in his hair*

*takes towel from Dobbs. Smacks Neesika with it.*

Oh wait... I'm supposed to use my hands? Been a while since I've played...

*smacks Neesika with the towel again*

*takes towel from Dobbs. Smacks Neesika with it.*

Oh wait... I'm supposed to use my hands? Been a while since I've played...

*smacks Neesika with the towel again*

Son-of-a... *looks around, sees only a bowl of peanuts, and begins pelting Mike with them while staying just out of range of the towel*

Ha, you like that? Aww, what's the matter, gots some BBQ spice in your eye? Here, HAVE ANOTHER! *tosses more peanuts*

And you're still it!

Son-of-a... *looks around, sees only a bowl of peanuts, and begins pelting Mike with them while staying just out of range of the towel*

Ha, you like that? Aww, what's the matter, gots some BBQ spice in your eye? Here, HAVE ANOTHER! *tosses more peanuts*

And you're still it!

Man, I suck at tag!

*ducks BBQ-tainted peanuts*

Gotta tag someone before I leave the room....

*fondles Neesika*

Okay, a little more risque' than I remember tag being, but a hell of a lot more fun...



Okay, I gots ta go for a while

*quickly ducks out of the bar*

*stands in a corner with arms crossed, twitching occasionally*

*walk into the pub and sits at the bar*

*lights up*

Ah...I love the smell of fresh liquor in the morning.

*Hurls the empty bowl of peanuts at RPP.*

HEY YOU! YOU'RE IT!

*cackles*

Wait a minute, where'd this come from?

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/Ruffy.jpg

I found it scrawled on a napkin that someone'd stuffed up my left nostril... or did I put it there? Shit, what did I get up to last night, anyway?

*Door flies open*

*Enters wearing Bugs Bunny mask and holding acetylene torch*

Double voddy and soda, please. I've had a long night.

Think I'll go see what all this fuss about fresh air is about.

*stretches, and ambles out of the pub...sure to be back*

see you around

*heads out of pub singing Eve Of Destruction by Barry Mcquire*

Why are Anarche's pants tied to the top of the entranceway?*peering sleepily from off the top of a vending machine*

Oh, yeah....

I think I did that... I'm pretty sure I had some pants-mistletoe idea in mind... Say, who just came in again?

Hey, somebody get a bucket. I need to piss, and I'm in no condition to be climbing down from here.

*ambles in*

It appears that there are no flames here. Excellent.

*removes a flask full of vodka from deep in his coat*

*takes a sip*

Scotch on the rocks please...

Boddingtons please, six gallons.

*Hurls the empty bowl of peanuts at RPP.*

HEY YOU! YOU'RE IT!

*cackles*

*takes peanuts to the face*

*doesn't move*





















*twitches*

*pokes RPP with a stick* Dude are you alright*pokes again*

Posting on NS instead of out at a pub (or possibly just back from one)? Well so what! We can have our own pub night, right here!

I'm set, nachos and Corona!

Got a little port and a trivia book, sooooooooooooo like me. :)
*glances around*
*shivers*

*pokes RPP with a stick* Dude are you alright*pokes again*

*doesn't move*

*takes a stick to the face*

*stares menacingly at the bar*

*doesn't move*

*takes a stick to the face*

*stares menacingly at the bar*

I'm going to slowly back awa....*beats RPP with stick* Move damn you! MOVE!

*takes a beating*

*crosses arms a bit tighter*

Ahem...glass of water please, my good chap.*

*stares menacingly at Londim*

Well at least you spoke now and moved slightly. My work here is done.

*ring*
Hello?
WHAT?!?
*click*

Gotta go, my refrigerator's running!!!!!!!

*bolts out, nearly trips over RPP*

*stares menacingly at Londim*

*sits idly enjoying the weirdness*

*Walks away* Barkeep give us a beer. *lloks to the floor* Oo look $100*picks up*

*wraps a giant forcefield around everything*

*twitches*

*takes a bomb to the face*

*doesn't move*

*puts hand down Neesika shirt*

*peeks head in, sees RPP still acting like a weirdo, walks in, and hauls him outside. Then dunks his head repeatedly into a puddle*

You can be weird all you want in that pub, as long as you drink, understand? *shakes RPP's head in a nodding motion, and dunks him one more time for good measure*

But twitching all to hell WITHOUT drinking is NOT allowed. New rules, got it? You choose.

*leaves RPP sitting and twitching on the sidewalk outside the pub. Remembers original reason for peeking in and walks back inside*

Hey, someone toss this bucket up to Anarch, m'kay? Or he's likely to start projectile urinating on everyone. And I'm not going to assume you'd all be into that.

*Eyeballs the interior of the pub*

Goddamn it, where are the janitors?

*grumbles and leaves again*

*puts hand down Neesika shirt*
*shouting from the street*
What, the ghost Neesika? I'm gone you fool.

*lands on roof top*
this is no where near the dropzone dam flyboys

may as well get a drink

*gets off roof top and enters pub*

barkeep a wild turkey

Walks in pissed off after work. Orders beer. :mad:

Walks in pissed off after work. Orders beer. :mad:

This is on me. Wanto to talk about it?

*charges in, wielding a hatchet in a bottle-busting rampage*

Kind of like this lady.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_Nation

This is on me. Wanto to talk about it?

Yes. I had to wash dishes, by myself, for 8 hours. Mr. Grumpy was well and truly present.:D

*walks in the front door, normally, without hatchets or airdropping onto the rooftop*

Hey...

Holy crap, word of mouth advertising actually works? How did our dive get so popular?

*dodges AnarchyeL's pants*

*orders a moosehead. glances at the menu*

Yes. I had to wash dishes, by myself, for 8 hours. Mr. Grumpy was well and truly present.:D

8 hours of washing dishes? Gah...

Next one's on me...

*waits for the inevitable 'beer on me' joke*

*glances at AnarchyeL's pants*

You know, a 'pants mistletoe' thing ain't that bad of an idea...

hmmmm....

*mutters about how the usaaf can't drop troops in the right spot*

*Walks into the pub and demands a Red Bull*

*Walks into the pub and demands a Red Bull*

That's not how you demand. If you want to be takne seriously then you have to demand like this, *bangs fist on bar* I FUCKING DEMAND A RED BULL.

Now you try.

*walks into bar*

*orders burger*

Man this tastes like shit. Barkeep, give me enough beer to make this burger taste good.

*somehow avoided hangover*

*walks into bar*

*orders burger*

Man this tastes like shit. Barkeep, give me enough beer to make this beer taste good.

*somehow avoided hangover*

A time-honoured tactic. The more you drink, the better they taste.

I'm sure the burger goes down better too.

*drinks burger*

EDIT: I saw that. Mr.

This place is a complete sausage-fest.

*sigh*

Gotta find something fun to do until the girls show up...

*downs moosehead*

*orders 2nd moosehead. orders burger*

That's not how you demand. If you want to be takne seriously then you have to demand like this, *bangs fist on bar* I FUCKING DEMAND A RED BULL.

Now you try.

all i have to do is wave my Thompson sudmachine gun about

*returns from slamming a random strangers head in a door*

Red Bull anyone?

*pulls out a case*

*returns from slamming a random strangers head in a door*

Red Bull anyone?

*pulls out a case*

I'm a little suspiscious of Red Bull offered by guys in Bugs Bunny masks and carrying acetelyne torches..

Yeah alright.

If someone could make sure Ruffy gets this, he kept pestering me for one last night, but knowing him he'll manage to miss it completely:

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/Ruffy.jpg

I'm a little suspiscious of Red Bull offered by guys in Bugs Bunny masks and carrying acetelyne torches..

Yeah alright.

*removes Bugs Bunny mask*
Forgot I was wearing that.

*Turns on Juke Box, sets to "Blue Oyster Cult"*

Anyone who dares change it will have to go through me.

*Lights up Acetylene torch*

If someone could make sure Ruffy gets this, he kept pestering me for one last night, but knowing him he'll manage to miss it completely:

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/Ruffy.jpg

Nice!

We'll make sure to slap him around until he notices.

*removes Bugs Bunny mask*
Forgot I was wearing that.

*Turns on Juke Box, sets to "Blue Oyster Cult"*

Anyone who dares change it will have to go through me.

*Lights up Acetylene torch*

*Walks through Siap*

Changes song to:

Parklife - Blur

*removes Bugs Bunny mask*
Forgot I was wearing that.

*Turns on Juke Box, sets to "Blue Oyster Cult"*

Anyone who dares change it will have to go through me.

*Lights up Acetylene torch*

No, I can handle Blue Oyster Cult.

*backs away from torch*

I can't handle this virtual pub-food though. Gotta get something real.

*outta here*

*removes Bugs Bunny mask*
Forgot I was wearing that.

*Turns on Juke Box, sets to "Blue Oyster Cult"*

Anyone who dares change it will have to go through me.

*Lights up Acetylene torch*

all i have to do is shot the dam thing :p

*Walks through Siap*

Changes song to:

Parklife - Blur

I like that song for the voice-over - particularly when he's talking about how good it feels to feed the birds in the park.

Whatever dude, whatever. *Jams MP3 in ears* Blue Oyster Cult? OK, who's been screwing with this?

I like that song for the voice-over - particularly when he's talking about how good it feels to feed the birds in the park.

It gives him a sense of well-being.:)

Why not just mix Red Wine with Vodka?
There's not enough alcohol in that..
Wait a minute, where'd this come from?

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/Ruffy.jpg

I found it scrawled on a napkin that someone'd stuffed up my left nostril... or did I put it there? Shit, what did I get up to last night, anyway?
Huzzah! *spams teh forum with newly created art*
Scotch on the rocks please...
I'll have the same.
*shouting from the street*
What, the ghost Neesika? I'm gone you fool.
Well I never said you were in it..
If someone could make sure Ruffy gets this, he kept pestering me for one last night, but knowing him he'll manage to miss it completely:

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/Ruffy.jpg

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/Ruffy.jpg


MWHAHAHAHAH!!

*Burns Londim severely*

*changes to Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon*

(Changes to Heaven and Hell - Black Sabbath)

Oh, and timewarp.

*Walks through Siap*

Changes song to:

Parklife - Blur

*Burns Londim severely*

*changes to Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon*

*Burns Londim severely*

*changes to Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon*

I don't burn...I grill.

*changes song to Lost and Found - Feeder*

*jumps over the bar an helps oneself to the booze*

You did NOT just change Pink Floyd.

*castrates*

Good band but bit overrated in some aspects.

I don't burn...I grill.

*changes song to Lost and Found - Feeder*

You did NOT just change Pink Floyd.

*castrates*

*see fight over the jukebox*

thats it

*shots up jukebok with Thompson*

'Kay, another satisfied customer.

Now Ruffy, make a point of going light on the newfound art in the Pub thread. Go play with it somewhere useful, like Achilles' Palestinian Baby thread. That'll keep 'im frothing at the mouth a bit. Or scratching his head. One or the other. Maybe both!

Good band but bit overrated in some aspects.

You shall die!

*changes music to polka*
*spins Londim around in random directions*

*Breaks out bats and knuckle-dusters for Pink Floyd Supporters*

So it begins...

*Changes back to Pink Floyd*

where are they keep getting the jukeboxs from

You shall die!

*changes music to polka*
*spins Londim around in random directions*

*sings* You spin me right round, baby right round....

*Breaks out bats and knuckle-dusters for Pink Floyd Supporters*

So it begins...

*Changes back to Pink Floyd*

This is turning into a real pub debate.

*sidles up to the bar* I'll have a whiskey, on the rocks.

Why don't we spare each other the bother and beat ourselves up?

*whacks self in head with pitcher*

*falls over, knocked out cold*

Wait a moment, if I was knocked out cold, then how can I still be typing ou-

*sidles up to the bar* I'll have a whiskey, on the rocks.

just help yourself like i'm doing

*jumps back over the bar an takes down a bottle from top shelf*

*looks for a fight*

*fails to find one*

*smashes open liquor cabinet, takes bottle of Jameson*

*finds bottle of Jack Daniels*

Haha it's mine. All mine!

*Finishes personally salting peanuts, offers them to Pink Floyd supporters as peace offering*

*Finishes personally salting peanuts, offers them to Pink Floyd supporters as peace offering*

I don't want to know what you were salting them with:eek:

*arrives with big tray of keilbasa and a case of Magic Hat*

I don't want to know what you were salting them with:eek:

yes it's safe to say don't take them

*Wanders in confused, wondering where all the porn he was promised is.*

*Wanders in confused, wondering where all the porn he was promised is.*

Well we could only get you second hand porn...

*sings Disturbed Guarded on the way out to the front lines in other words going to bed*

*glances at AnarchyeL's pants*

You know, a 'pants mistletoe' thing ain't that bad of an idea...

hmmmm....The question is, if you find yourself under the pants, what exactly ARE you supposed to kiss?

I have some ideas...

walk over ot the jukebox and while smoking my pipe and puts on some Steeleye Span

*half falls off vending machine*

Am I hungover, or still drunk? Could I be both? Well, either way... The world is spinning clockwise, and everyone knows that absinthe spins counter-clockwise.

Clearly, the only way to counter my clockwise spin is to down some absinthe.

*checks bag* Damn, all I have is this shitty black-dyed Jacques Senaux. Oh well, at least it's strong as hell.

*removes absinthe glass, spoon, sugar cube, lighter from bag; pours a glass, puts sugar in spoon, dips in absinthe*

*lights spoon*

Goddamn!! 170-proof liquor sure does make a nice flame!!!

is it just me or has most of the writing on jolt gone about half a point smaller?

*comes to on pub floor*

I'm BLIND!

*picks napkin off of face*

That's better...

*passes out again*

walk over ot the jukebox and while smoking my pipe and puts on some Steeleye Span

*removes throwing knife from ankle holster and throws at jukebox, changing to George Baker's "Little Green Bag"*

Well, I'm bored with this flaming spoon... I don't think it'll EVER go out.

*swirls spoon into glass in an attempt to douse the flame*

Shit! That usually works... but then again, usually I'm not working with 85% alcohol!!

*tall flames leap from glass like a torch*

*panicked, knocks over glass; flaming alcohol runs in a stream down the bar, ignite someone's burger*

[This has been a recreation of actual events.]

That's not how you demand. If you want to be takne seriously then you have to demand like this, *bangs fist on bar* I FUCKING DEMAND A RED BULL.

Now you try.

I walk into the pub, drenched in some kind of toxic yet unfamiliar fluid.

I put my coat and hat on the rack and walk toward the bar area.

On my way, a little kid is eating some French fries and gapes at me with his large blue eyes. I stare him down with the coldest, most frightning stare you've even seen in your whole life.

The kid's pants begin to grow dark, and I continue my walk to the bar. My heavy work boots clunking against the floor.

When I get to the bar, I sit down and stare into space for a minute. The cheerfull "bloke" next to me turns around and states, "Well it looks like somebody has a case of the Mon-"

I grabbed him by the throat, took his beer bottle and knocked him out cold with it.

There was silence.

A pretty young waitress comes up to me and asks, "And what would you like to drink this evening, sir?"

I don't know whether it was the toxic fumes getting to my head, the fact that I hadn't slept in over 48 hours, or that the jukebox was playing that really bad rendition of, "Magic Carpet Ride."

It was probably all three of them joining forces against me.

I respond, "What would I like to drink... What would I like to drink... Hmmm, I'll tell you what I want to drink," I slam my enormous fist against the table, and with spitle and rage flying out of my mouth, I yell in the loudest, most angriest voice I've ever used in my life, "I WANT A FUCKING RED BULL GOD DAMNIT!!"

I WANT A FUCKING RED BULL GOD DAMNIT!!"

*throws a fucking Red Bull*

Evenin' all.

Oh NOW the Jello Biafra shots are being offered? Hun, you've got to catch us when we're really drunk!Oh. Hm.
Want some tequila instead?

Yeah.

Speaking of which, Jello: did you and Bill Cosby have a thing for a while or something? He kept pushing your 'pudding pops'...He pushed my 'jigglers', too. ;)

*shouting from the street*
What, the ghost Neesika? I'm gone you fool.<Removes Neesika disguise.> Ruffy fondled my chest! Ruffy fondled my chest! <Cackles.> <Dances.> <Trips over Dobbsworld.>

I know I left here last night because I wasn't here when I woke up. I'm just not sure where I was. Oh well, jello shots all round on me. *Sits at bar, nibbles on day old fried mozzarella sticks.*

*stumbles through door*

Hey folks!

The question is, if you find yourself under the pants, what exactly ARE you supposed to kiss?

I have some ideas...

So... many... disturbing... ideas...

(Dude, you're under the pants... ya gotta kiss it...)

*lights spoon*

Goddamn!! 170-proof liquor sure does make a nice flame!!!

It does have a certain grade 8 science-class kind of element to it doesn't it?


What? No one else drank in Science class?

*comes to on pub floor*

I'm BLIND!

*picks napkin off of face*

That's better...

*passes out again*

Draws crosshairs on Dobbs forehead for Jello shooters.


Well, I'm bored with this flaming spoon... I don't think it'll EVER go out.

*swirls spoon into glass in an attempt to douse the flame*

Shit! That usually works... but then again, usually I'm not working with 85% alcohol!!

*tall flames leap from glass like a torch*

*panicked, knocks over glass; flaming alcohol runs in a stream down the bar, ignite someone's burger*

[This has been a recreation of actual events.]

Damn... it's one of those things I wondered would happen, but you lived the flaming burger fantasy. Very nice.


He pushed my 'jigglers', too. ;)


:p

*holds sides... head hurting from laughter*

'Cosby pushed my jigglers!'

(Ah, kid's say the darnedest things...)

Oh well, jello shots all round on me.

*collapses in fits of laughter*

*throws a fucking Red Bull*

*I down the thing in one gulp and then realize why I havn't slept in over 48 hours.*

*collapses in fits of laughter*

Ah, glad to be of help. *orders Blue Moon and deep fried artichoke hearts, winks at Ruffy and the cute guy.*

Ah, glad to be of help. *orders Blue Moon and deep fried artichoke hearts, winks at Ruffy and the cute guy.*

I thought Ruffy was the cute guy? Or was that AnarchyeL? Or was it the faceless construct you summoned when you walked in the bar? Cuz yeah, I'm not gay, but the construct guy is kinda sexy...

I know I left here last night because I wasn't here when I woke up. I'm just not sure where I was. Oh well, jello shots all round on me. *Sits at bar, nibbles on day old fried mozzarella sticks.*

WOOOO! Take a Jello shot. Then takes a Jello shot for Jello Briafra. Wouldn't want to be a cannibal, eh?

Too... many... Jello.. jokes...

Must... get to... calming... beverage...

*crawls over to the bar, and drags self onto stool*

Bartender, one Caffrey's please. And NO Jello shots for me tonight. Thanks!

Jello, shot?!!

Oh wait, he's right there.

Maybe I'll be less confused after the next glass.

*chugs a glass of something blacker than Satan's soul*

*chugs a glass of something blacker than Satan's soul*

Where do you find these bizarre beverages? I've only ever seen them in NS Pub... (other than absinthe that is.)



I wonder what's blacker than Satan's soul? Shaft? But he's no drink...

*sits down in corner, already with can*

http://photos-742.ak.facebook.com/ip002/v65/115/86/61413432/n61413432_32585742_5580.jpg

Where do you find these bizarre beverages? I've only ever seen them in NS Pub... (other than absinthe that is.)In this case, the blackness is an absinthe... although it's the worst one I've ever tried.

Jacques Senaux absinthe... they fucking dye it. The only thing more disgusting than the flavor is the thin, grainy film of blackness that it leaves inside the glass.

Damn gimmicky bastards.

Hehe... but as for the other drinks, I make them myself. Most any herb can be transformed into a tincture by soaking it in alcohol for long enough... wormwood, marijuana, Salvia... you name it.

Then I mix them with... whatever.

In this case, the blackness is an absinthe... although it's the worst one I've ever tried.

Jacques Senaux absinthe... they fucking dye it. The only thing more disgusting than the flavor is the thin, grainy film of blackness that it leaves inside the glass.

Damn gimmicky bastards.

Hehe... but as for the other drinks, I make them myself. Most any herb can be transformed into a tincture by soaking it in alcohol for long enough... wormwood, marijuana, Salvia... you name it.

Then I mix them with... whatever.

You're like an alcoholic alchemist! Forever trying to find the secret of turning common swill into ambrosia!

Cheers!

*downs pint of common swill*

The wormwood in absinthe was never enough to produce the amount of Thujone required for an effect, apparently. I heart wikipedia. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absinthe#Controversy)

What's the weed/alcohol mix like? I find that drinking after an extended smoking session makes me feel rough as fuck.

I find that drinking after an extended smoking session makes me feel rough as fuck.

*nods*

Combining the two makes me green. I find I prefer not to smoke at all, and confine myself to the alcohol.

I thought I was the cute guy... :(

Oy! Who wishes to prove themselves!

*pulls out concoction of mezcal and tincture of soma*

You're like an alcoholic alchemist! Forever trying to find the secret of turning common swill into ambrosia!Yeah, screw turning lead into gold.

I'd like to turn bread into Goldschlager.

*crushes a pill into Mike's swill*

Trust me, you'll enjoy that.

Yeah, screw turning lead into gold.

I'd like to turn bread into Goldschlager.

*crushes a pill into Mike's swill*

Trust me, you'll enjoy that.

Would you quit doing that? I have to work tomorrow!

*absent-mindedly drinks tainted swill*

Really... people around here got nothing better to do than to drug my brew...



*contemplates the bread into Goldschlager mystery*

Oy! Who wishes to prove themselves!

*pulls out concoction of mezcal and tincture of soma*

No! No more concoctions!


Soma? Did you drive your DeLorean in or something? What Ford-dominated future world did you just step out of?

I thought I was the cute guy... :(

There there.

You still got to put your hand down Jello's shirt.

*pats ruffy on the head*

Would you quit doing that? I have to work tomorrow!Don't worry, you'll be fine by then.

*absent-mindedly drinks tainted swill*You trusted me? Seriously? ME?? People have nightmares about me!!

Anyway, that was Viagra.

*patiently waits for Mike's raging hard-on to break through his pants*

Don't worry, you'll be fine by then.

You trusted me? Seriously? ME?? People have nightmares about me!!

Anyway, that was Viagra.

*patiently waits for Mike's raging hard-on to break through his pants*

Ah ha-ha!

Little did you know, I always have a raging hard on. The costume I wear under my civilian clothing constrains my powers until they are needed for the benefit of the general public.

*double-checks superteam beeper - good, no emergencies*

No! No more concoctions!


Soma? Did you drive your DeLorean in or something? What Ford-dominated future world did you just step out of?

Soma is from the past, dude.

*takes a hit of mezcal-soma concoction*

Soma is from the past, dude.

*takes a hit of mezcal-soma concoction*

*consults super-friend talking communicator*

Yeah, I guess you're right. I was thinking 'Brave New World' everytime I heard Soma.


Maybe I just liked the mass orgies that went along with it. I haven't read that book in a while.... I keep trying to figure out why it's a dystopia... sounds kinda fun for the most part...

I keep trying to figure out why it's a dystopia... sounds kinda fun for the most part...

Thats why its a dystopia. Its all about control.

*pounds another shot*

woah...starting to see the Rig Veda...

Thats why its a dystopia. Its all about control.

*pounds another shot*

woah...starting to see the Rig Veda...

*downs the rest of the Viagra-spiked swill*

Yeah, I know it's a dystopia. Just compared to 1984 and other dystopia's... it ain't all that awful. Most of the people in it are perfectly content, as opposed to the nightmare that is presented in 1984.

*feels stirring in pants*

Damn... my suit is supposed to contain that...

Hmmm...

Well, I can only sit here and fight off the effects of AnarchyeL's viagra spiking for so long. Seeing as there's no one here to help with this particular problem (well, no one of my choosing) , I'm just going to have to go home and solve it myself.

*Finds sombrero. Places it strategically, and walks out the door*

*walks into the rapidly deteriorating pub*

Still no janitors? Damn.

*peers around*

Why do I get the feeling I showed up just minutes too late for something fun?

*takes a seat at the bar*

Nachos! And Corona! Lime!

...Who drew the crosshairs on my forehead?

*rubs eyes*

Have I been out long? It's dark outside...

Good to see you, Dobbs! It was getting lonely here. Want some nachos? *looks at the mess on her plate* Kind of slim pickings actually...the peanuts that fell on the floor might taste better...

Good to see you, Dobbs! It was getting lonely here. Want some nachos? *looks at the mess on her plate* Kind of slim pickings actually...the peanuts that fell on the floor might taste better...

I dunno, I don't like the looks of those... are you sure those are peanuts?

*picks one up*

Just as I thought - they're tiny people! Tiny people with big little oversized peanut-shaped heads! Check it out...

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/pnuts.jpg

*steals Neesika's lime*

*bits into it in such a way that it appears I have green, lime-skin teeth.*

*lols*

*squishes one*

Oh shit...oops...does a curse come with that? Damnit.

*steals Neesika's lime*

*bits into it in such a way that it appears I have green, lime-skin teeth.*

*lols*
That's okay, I squeeze the lime juice directly into the bottle rather than inserting the peel, which generally is coated in pesticides.

Enjoy!

That's okay, I squeeze the lime juice directly into the bottle rather than inserting the peel, which generally is coated in pesticides.

Enjoy!
Being an average westerner, I have ~100 lethal chemicals in my body. one more ain't gonna hurt.

*Looks around at messy, unwashed pub, wrinkles nose*

Maybe we should a different pub next time Neese, this place looks like a Hurricane passed through while George Bush was left in charge...

*Looks around at messy, unwashed pub, wrinkles nose*

Maybe we should a different pub next time Neese, this place looks like a Hurricane passed through while George Bush was left in charge...

*ba doom boom boom*

Good one!

Well, I think someone either killed the janitor, or got him too high to perform his duties. But I'm kind of fond of the place...

*ba doom boom boom*

Good one!

Well, I think someone either killed the janitor, or got him too high to perform his duties. But I'm kind of fond of the place...

What about the peanut people? What of their plight?

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/pnuts2.jpg

*ba doom boom boom*

Good one!

Well, I think someone either killed the janitor, or got him too high to perform his duties. But I'm kind of fond of the place...

Me too. I would hate to see the puddle of puke I am sitting in get cleaned up. The thought alone brings a tear to my eye.

What about the peanut people? What of their plight?

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/pnuts2.jpg

OMFG you're right! *frantically begins picking up all the spilled peanuts, cramming them into a basket just woven from shredded napkins*

I've got to get these guys out of here, before it's too late! I will ensure they are flown to their freedom, given new identities...

And then I'm off to bed:)

Fantastic work, Dobbs...see you all tomorrow!

*dashes out of the pub before someone attacks her for the peanuts*

Looks like you missed one, Neese.

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/jaynut.jpg

Poor lil' fella... who let the bird in here, anyway?

*shoos bird out hole in ceiling*

Seeya Neesika, g'night.

Birds?

Birds, where?!

*panics*


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!1

*takes all of his clothes off*
*runs out of bar*

Birds?

Birds, where?!

*panics*


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!1

*takes all of his clothes off*
*runs out of bar*

Hell, I made him bullet-proof but there's no stopping an ornithophobic. Ah well.

*picks self up off of creaking stool and shambles out the front door*

Night all...

I thought I was the cute guy... :(

There's more than one cute guy. You and the construct are a world of cute guys. *orders a six pack of Blue Moons and a plate of deep fried artichoke hearts, mozzarella cheese and stuffed potatoes. Winks at the cute guys (including Ruffy), who are increasing logarithmically.*

*walks in and trips over a stool, gets back up and knocks the same stool over, then knocks a drink accidentally off the table with my arm*

*walks in and trips over a stool, gets back up and knocks the same stool over, then knocks a drink accidentally off the table with my arm*

*hands you a damp cloth and points to the spilled drink.*

*groans and cleans up the mess*

*searches for a $5 in my pocket, finds one, asks for a Jolt*

"NOT JOLT THE TIME WARPING MESSAGE BOARD! I meant Jolt the Cola."

*groans and cleans up the mess*

*searches for a $5 in my pocket, finds one, asks for a Jolt*

"NOT JOLT THE TIME WARPING MESSAGE BOARD! I meant Jolt the Cola."

Which colour?

http://www.energyfiend.com/wp-content/caffeine/jolt-cola.jpg

There's more than one cute guy. You and the construct are a world of cute guys. *orders a six pack of Blue Moons and a plate of deep fried artichoke hearts, mozzarella cheese and stuffed potatoes. Winks at the cute guys (including Ruffy), who are increasing logarithmically.*

*winks while eating artichoke hearts*
*passes out next to ASD*

Which colour?

http://www.energyfiend.com/wp-content/caffeine/jolt-cola.jpg

"Blue, please."

*hands the $5 over*

*winks while eating artichoke hearts*
*passes out next to ASD*

*Hands Oslea a damp cloth, points at Ruffy. Winks.*

*Groans*

*Cleans up Ruffy*

"Blue, please."

*hands the $5 over*
That'll be $2.

*makes change*
*Groans*

*Cleans up Ruffy*

:eek:

*is ticklish*

*asks for a fee of $2 for cleaning him up, to attempt to get a free Jolt*

*Looks at Oslea askance. Takes Ruffy by the ankles and drags him to a chair. Arranges him artistically in chair. Winks at cute guy.

*Looks at Oslea askance. Takes Ruffy by the ankles and drags him to a chair. Arranges him artistically in chair. Winks at cute guy.
That is sick.

*steps in and prevents Ruffi getting t-bagged*

*wakes up noticing he's now naked, sitting in a chair, and has his hand proping his head up*

Eh..

*blushes*

*realizes what was about to happen to him*

OHMIGOD.

That will be the end of this, thank you very much.

*peeks head in, sees RPP still acting like a weirdo, walks in, and hauls him outside. Then dunks his head repeatedly into a puddle*

You can be weird all you want in that pub, as long as you drink, understand? *shakes RPP's head in a nodding motion, and dunks him one more time for good measure*

But twitching all to hell WITHOUT drinking is NOT allowed. New rules, got it? You choose.

*leaves RPP sitting and twitching on the sidewalk outside the pub. Remembers original reason for peeking in and walks back inside*

If you would have cared to enquire for the proceedings you would have been informed that I had previously requested a glass of water.

*crosses arms and stares menacingly at Neesika*

*twitches*

*punches Ruffino in the face*

*stares menacingly at the bar*

*throws a bar stool at RPP*

If you would have cared to enquire for the proceedings you would have been informed that I had previously requested a glass of water.

*crosses arms and stares menacingly at Neesika*

*twitches*

*punches Ruffino in the face*

*stares menacingly at the bar*

*Pours a pitcher of ice water on RPP's head. Winks at Ruffy and Oslea. Leaves.*

*throws a bar stool at RPP*

*takes bar-stool to the face*

*takes ice-water to the face*

*doesn't move*


Drinking water.

Drinking water.

Buddy, that's vodka.

Buddy, that's vodka.

*waits for Ruffino to rethink his position*

*stares menacingly at the bar*

*waits for Ruffino to rethink his position*

*stares menacingly at the bar*

Oh fine. If you don't want to get up and pour a glass of water yourself..

*gets glass of water for RPP*

*stares daggers at the glass of water*

*kicks door in*

hi

*walks over to bar jumps over helps oneself to a bottle and jumps back over bar*

bye

*walks back out*

*puts hand down Neesika shirt*

*finds what appears to be a hair of Straughn's*

Why is no one here? And where's the damn janitor?! In fact did the management hire one?

You shall die!

*changes music to polka*
*spins Londim around in random directions*

!
Rock the cradle of love. Rock the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true
Rock the cradle of love
I rocked the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true

Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo
(Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo)

The Love Shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love Shack, baby
(Love Shack, baby, Love Shack)
Hey!

Pump up the jam (hey!). Pump up the jam (hey!)
Pump up the jam, pump it up!

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion
Trying to keep a view
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough

The things you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things you say
You're unbelieveable
(Oh!)

Do me, baby. Do me, baby
You can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night
You can do me when you wanna do me
Yodalodaladyhoo!

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump
Do me, baby
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Do me, baby
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

She's my cherry pie
Put a smile on your face ten miles wide
Look so good, make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi
Woo!

Drum solo!

I miss you much (M-O-I miss you so much)
I really miss you much (M-I-S-S you so much)
I miss you much (M-O-I miss you so much)
I really miss you much

Hey, I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Oh, I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no no no

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's the one that makes you feel all right
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's gonna be your Frankenstein

Let's kick it!
If you got a problem, (yo!) I'll solve it
Check out the beat while the DJ revolves it
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby... Word to your mother!
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby forever
I'll be your ice... ice... baby!
Hey!

Why is no one here? And where's the damn janitor?! In fact did the management hire one?

I think management said something along the lines of,
"These things have a tendency to work themselves out.", with a nod for emphasis.

I think management said something along the lines of,
"These things have a tendency to work themselves out.", with a nod for emphasis.

Thats all ways the way. However there is a weird smell here...*builds robot janitor*

Why is it dispensing coffee?! Why do all my inventions do that?!

Thats all ways the way. However there is a weird smell here...*builds robot janitor*

Why is it dispensing coffee?! Why do all my inventions do that?!

It dispenses coffee? Out of what orifice, praytell?

It dispenses coffee? Out of what orifice, praytell?

All of them! :eek:

EDIT: I also notice I have over 2000 posts. Sweet.

All of them! :eek: Now that's just disgusting. There's a time and a place .... *shakes head*
Wait ... French roast? :eek:

EDIT: I also notice I have over 2000 posts. Sweet.Ah ... pretty soon you'll be up to ... wait, what if you don't want a higher post rating even though you still want to post? You don't mind being called "Uber Spamgirl", do you?

Now that's just disgusting. There's a time and a place .... *shakes head*
Wait ... French roast? :eek:

Ah ... pretty soon you'll be up to ... wait, what if you don't want a higher post rating even though you still want to post? You don't mind being called "Uber Spamgirl", do you?

French Toast?! Will this madness never........A chocolate Jesus?! Eww and it came out of that orifice....

Uber Spamgirl - This could make for interesting events.

*takes a quick shot of tequila before heading off for school*

French Toast?! Will this madness never........A chocolate Jesus?! Eww and it came out of that orifice....This sounds REMARKABLY like a DCD post. *bows*


Uber Spamgirl - This could make for interesting events.
Yes indeedy. *nods*
The creepy thing is, at some point NS assaults the public image of your gender, and at some other point swings another 180 degrees in same effect.
!

This sounds REMARKABLY like a DCD post. *bows*



Yes indeedy. *nods*
The creepy thing is, at some point NS assaults the public image of your gender, and at some other point swings another 180 degrees in same effect.
!

Wow to be compared to DCD is an honour. And yes NS is like a monster. It draws you in, sates your addiction, then spits you out when its done.

Wow to be compared to DCD is an honour. And yes NS is like a monster. It draws you in, sates your addiction, then spits you out when its done.
In my understanding, NS has spit out TRA three or four times now, eh? ;)
They always come back. Always.























Well, mostly.

Nationstates - You can't live with it and you can't live without it.

*kick door in again*

hey

*walk over to bar an takes a seat*

Nationstates - You can't live with it and you can't live without it.
Pass the beer nuts, i'm wearing Milk-bone underwear. :)

Pass the beer nuts, i'm wearing Milk-bone underwear. :)

I'm wearing a thong! Get your own beer nuts.

I'm wearing a thong! Get your own beer nuts.

:eek:

Milk-bone thong.
Hopefully with the calcium and other fortifying nutrients for a healthy canine mouth.
As for the beer nuts, i guess i'll have to settle for corn-nuts, like that chick from Heathers.

Pass the beer nuts, i'm wearing Milk-bone underwear. :)

I'm wearing a thong! Get your own beer nuts.

i think i'm a lot safe facing germans who are shooting at me then bring near you two

:eek:

Milk-bone thong.
Hopefully with the calcium and other fortifying nutrients for a healthy canine mouth.
As for the beer nuts, i guess i'll have to settle for corn-nuts, like that chick from Heathers.

And I'll just settle for that chick from Hooters *nods*

And I'll just settle for that chick from Hooters *nods*

don't tell me they showed up when i was fighting :(

!Polka your eyes out, Brev!

*walks in whistling*

Hey every... body...

*wrinkles nose. examines 'coffee'-dispensing robot not actually cleaning*

Hmmm. Even I'm started to get grossed out here.

*makes phone call*



Why do I get the feeling I showed up just minutes too late for something fun?

Bah! You're like Polk-a-roo! Never in the same room when I need a particular enjoyable task performed.

Okay, a very sexy, native Polk-a-roo, but you know what I'm saying.

What about the peanut people? What of their plight?

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/pnuts2.jpg

Oh... my...

I will never look at peanuts the same way again...

*puts up 'Save the Peanuts' poster*

Why is no one here? And where's the damn janitor?! In fact did the management hire one?

Who is managing this place anyway? Well I made a call anyway... should mostly be cleared up in a minute...

*door opens, small ninja-cleaning crew vaults through the door*

Good! Clean it up! Just leave the pants hanging above the door.

*Ninja-cleaners get to work cleaning up puke stains, spilled peanuts (and are instructed to let them out to 'run free'), wipe down the tables, fabreze some of the patrons who haven't left yet, and re-stock the vending machine*

See, this is why I hire ninjas. They work fast.

*Ninjas leave the bar a little cleaner. Come back in rolling an 80's relic 'Space Invaders' machine*

There's my baby! Leave it right over there!

(Ninja's: 'HAI!')

*ninja's plug in 'Space Invaders' and vault out the door, vanishing forever into the... early evening.*

Ah, that's much better. Bartender, I'll take a Caffrey's please.

*plays Space Invaders*

...All we are saaaaaaaaying, give peeeeeeeanuts a chaaaaaaaance!

Look, here comes a likely saviour for the peanut people - it's former President Jimmy Carter!

http://www.thismodernworld.org/gra/peanut.jpg

Goddamn, if anyone can help the peanut people, it's Carter. Go man, go!

I must clearly be the heaviest drinker of the lot of you, because apparently I married Neo K over the weekend.

A bottle of scotch please, I'm going to need to forget this...

...All we are saaaaaaaaying, give peeeeeeeanuts a chaaaaaaaance!

Look, here comes a likely saviour for the peanut people - it's former President Jimmy Carter!

http://www.thismodernworld.org/gra/peanut.jpg

Goddamn, if anyone can help the peanut people, it's Carter. Go man, go!

*looks up from Space Invaders*

:eek:

Jimmy Carter! The Pub's most distinguished visitor yet!

*quickly hides Planter's cans. Accidentally spills Caffrey's*

Shit!

I must clearly be the heaviest drinker of the lot of you, because apparently I married Neo K over the weekend.

A bottle of scotch please, I'm going to need to forget this...

You got married?

Sucker!


... uhm... I mean 'Congrats!'

Drinks are on the house. (I'm still trying to figure out how the place stays in business. And who's actually in running the joint...)

*door opens, small ninja-cleaning crew vaults through the door*

Good! Clean it up! Just leave the pants hanging above the door.

*Ninja-cleaners get to work cleaning up puke stains, spilled peanuts (and are instructed to let them out to 'run free'), wipe down the tables, fabreze some of the patrons who haven't left yet, and re-stock the vending machine*

See, this is why I hire ninjas. They work fast.

*Ninjas leave the bar a little cleaner. Come back in rolling an 80's relic 'Space Invaders' machine*

There's my baby! Leave it right over there!

(Ninja's: 'HAI!')

*ninja's plug in 'Space Invaders' and vault out the door, vanishing forever into the... early evening.*

Ah, that's much better. Bartender, I'll take a Caffrey's please.

*plays Space Invaders*

I pull out the plug to space invaders and get in my break-dance-fight stance.

You got married?

Sucker!


... uhm... I mean 'Congrats!'

Drinks are on the house. (I'm still trying to figure out how the place stays in business. And who's actually in running the joint...)
I married a guy. Bloody Vegas.

I pull out the plug to space invaders and get in my break-dance-fight stance.

What's with the fightin' business, anyway?

*points at sign prohibiting "gettin' in people's face an' stuff", above the bar*

Sic him, Jimmy!

*lets Carter off leash*

*door crashes open, yelling voices heard in the distance, strange bearded figure dressed in just an anorak and a pare of boxer shorts stumbles violently into the bar disrupting a game of pool and several drinkers*

Oi Oi, 'ows triksh? wutss un tap?? i'll have u piunt uv yer finest, barkeep. i knows there;s PG13 rulz in gen'ral but this is a pretend bar and there are no rules aggenst servin a drunk moar alcohol in teh cybertoobs. dun't mind teh n00bs outdoors, dey djust fink ders sumfink rong wiv stoling teh roadsine wot say deyr village hav deh nisest spar and plunj pool (wiv adjoynin 'massarge parler') inn teh land. i wuz jest wontin a sooveneer an' they wuz all rowdy 'bout it. feckin' furegners! bbbbeeeeeeyyyyaarrrrrr!!! arrrrhhhh!!! etc.


synopsis: pint of bitter please :)

*door crashes open, yelling voices heard in the distance, strange bearded figure dressed in just an anorak and a pare of boxer shorts stumbles violently into the bar disrupting a game of pool and several drinkers*

Oi Oi, 'ows triksh? wutss un tap?? i'll have u piunt uv yer finest, barkeep. i knows there;s PG13 rulz in gen'ral but this is a pretend bar and there are no rules aggenst servin a drunk moar alcohol in teh cybertoobs. dun't mind teh n00bs outdoors, dey djust fink ders sumfink rong wiv stoling teh roadsine wot say deyr village hav deh nisest spar and plunj pool (wiv adjoynin 'massarge parler') inn teh land. i wuz jest wontin a sooveneer an' they wuz all rowdy 'bout it. feckin' furegners! bbbbeeeeeeyyyyaarrrrrr!!! arrrrhhhh!!! etc.


synopsis: pint of bitter please :)
No barman would need the synopsis. Also, the subtext of 'and I'd like a whiskey chaser' was also duly noted.

*walks in and is astonished to see the pub is sparkling in it's newfound cleaness and sterility*

Wow. Just...wow.

*takes a seat at the bar between Dobbs and Mikesburg*

Well folks...this is familiar:D

Well folks...this is familiar:D

Say hello to Jimmy.

http://www.thismodernworld.org/gra/peanut.jpg

Jimmy says "hi there, Neesika". Jimmy's gonna liberate the peanut people, ain'tcha Jimmy?

*Jimmy nods*

Plus, he's already broken up one fight before it ever even happened. Here's to Jimmy!

*toasts*

Toasts? Toast? Toasted? Toasted peanuts? HAVE YOU GONE TO THE OTHER SIDE, DOBBS!!???

An Amish guy walks in the bar.

"Did somebody order a pizza with extra sausage?"

*walks in and is astonished to see the pub is sparkling in it's newfound cleaness and sterility*

Wow. Just...wow.

*takes a seat at the bar between Dobbs and Mikesburg*

Well folks...this is familiar:D

Nees!

*falls back into bar seat after stealing a can of Kilkenny from behind the bar*

Dobbs brought Jimmy Carter to the pub! Now we'll get even more riff-raff than ever!



...

Wait... now we'll get more riff-raff than ever....

hmmm...

I pull out the plug to space invaders and get in my break-dance-fight stance.

You're just lucky Jimmy Carter's here to break this up buddy...



No one unplugs my Space Invaders... :mad:

Damn it Mike, bad timing once again...I just got a call on the batphone that Robin's glued himself to the mirror again, if you know what I mean.

Once I peel the little pecker off the glass, I'll be back for a nightcap.

*leans in and whispers in Mike's ear*

Alright folks...see you later...and Jimmy? Keep up the good work!

Damn it Mike, bad timing once again...I just got a call on the batphone that Robin's glued himself to the mirror again, if you know what I mean.

Once I peel the little pecker off the glass, I'll be back for a nightcap.

*leans in and whispers in Mike's ear*

Alright folks...see you later...and Jimmy? Keep up the good work!

*listen's intently to Neesika*

God Damn!

All right. I'm planting my ass right here.


Sometimes I wonder about that Boy Wonder. Hmmph.

I walk up the juke box and select, "Let the rain fall down," by Hillary Duff.

Before anyone notices the damage I've done, I find a table and order a shepherd's pie.

Dang it, HotRodia closed that Smunkee thread just when it was getting interesting, and now Neese has upped and split the pub. What should we do now, Jimmy?

http://www.thismodernworld.org/gra/peanut.jpg

What? Did you just say, "Go rob a bank"? Get outta town!

You're a wicked little former president, Jimmy. Wicked.

Wind-up Peanut Presidents always make the best decisions.

*contemplates bank-robbery*

I walk up the juke box and select, "Let the rain fall down," by Hillary Duff.

Before anyone notices the damage I've done, I find a table and order a shepherd's pie.

*convinces the chef to 'let the rain fall down' on New Stalinberg's shepherd's pie*

*convinces the chef to 'let the rain fall down' on New Stalinberg's shepherd's pie*

I run around the pub, and take everyone's straw unbrellas from their martinis and arrange them around my shepherd's pie.

What now?

Wind-up Peanut Presidents always make the best decisions.

*contemplates bank-robbery*

I know, I'm being seized up in Jimmy's mysterious aura of persuasion, too. Should I go downstairs and raid the fridge, or should I go find a TD Bank? They're the ones that stay open late, right? Right. Hey, what the -

Carter! Enough with the ventriloquist act - quit putting words into my mouth!

Ah, my apologies, Mister Dobbs... have a daiquiri on me. You too, Mike.

Damn, I always knew there was a reason I liked you, wind-up Jimmy Carter-peanut!

I run around the pub, and take everyone's straw unbrellas from their martinis and arrange them around my shepherd's pie.

What now?

Well the 'rain' fell down in the kitchen, before the shepherd's pie made it to your table.

I'm sure it's all good. The umbrellas are a nice touch.

I know, I'm being seized up in Jimmy's mysterious aura of persuasion, too. Should I go downstairs and raid the fridge, or should I go find a TD Bank? They're the ones that stay open late, right? Right. Hey, what the -

Carter! Enough with the ventriloquist act - quit putting words into my mouth!

Ah, my apologies, Mister Dobbs... have a daiquiri on me. You too, Mike.

Damn, I always knew there was a reason I liked you, wind-up Jimmy Carter-peanut!

Can't argue with a former president.




Well, sure you can. But not one that offers free drinks!

*daiquiri-time*

Well the 'rain' fell down in the kitchen, before the shepherd's pie made it to your table.

I'm sure it's all good. The umbrellas are a nice touch.

Mmm, shepherd's pie with added urea.

*reenters the pub expecting to here a Cheers-esque 'Neesika!' from the bar. Takes her 'regular' seat*

Well, I managed to get Robin loose, but it took some doing. First I lathered him up with lard and tried to get him unstuck that way. It didn't work, and he seemed to be enjoying it a little much. So next, I poured hot water on him, but that just made him scream. I tried using a putty knife to scrape him off the glass, but I slipped a little, and when he saw a few drops of blood, he fainted, and pulled himself free in one horrendous motion.

He's mostly intact, nothing a few skin grafts won't heal. Maybe next time he won't play Narcissus and try to swordfight with himself in the mirror after accidentally using crazy glue instead of lube? Don't these crazy kids watch the popular media anymore? That theme was tackled quite well in American Pie.

*reenters the pub expecting to here a Cheers-esque 'Neesika!' from the bar. Takes her 'regular' seat*

Well, I managed to get Robin loose, but it took some doing. First I lathered him up with lard and tried to get him unstuck that way. It didn't work, and he seemed to be enjoying it a little much. So next, I poured hot water on him, but that just made him scream. I tried using a putty knife to scrape him off the glass, but I slipped a little, and when he saw a few drops of blood, he fainted, and pulled himself free in one horrendous motion.

He's mostly intact, nothing a few skin grafts won't heal. Maybe next time he won't play Narcissus and try to swordfight with himself in the mirror after accidentally using crazy glue instead of lube? Don't these crazy kids watch the popular media anymore? That theme was tackled quite well in American Pie.

Neesika!

*raises half-empty pint glass*

Sorry to hear that Robin gave you such a hard time. I mean, in this day of ultra-lubricants, you'd think he'd get with the times. I'm sure there's something in Batman's utility belt that would have sufficed.


...

Uhm... did you forget to change out of your superhero costume? Or is the whole skin-tight body suit your normal wear for the day?

*appreciates*

*glances down at skin-tight uniform (http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/darksin01.jpg)*

Oops...so I did!

*slides in beside Mike, so her thigh is pressed up against his*

So what's new? Are you on strike or what?

*raises voice* Hey, can I get a Corona please? Lime, not lemon, thanks!

Uhm... did you forget to change out of your superhero costume? Or is the whole skin-tight body suit your normal wear for the day?

*appreciates*

That's what she said.

Neesika!

Neesika!

Oh, go on and build a house for somebody, Jimmy.

Okay, everybody - it's been swell!

Barkeep, another daiquiri.

*glances down at skin-tight uniform (http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j315/crashcow/NSG/darksin01.jpg)*

Oops...so I did!

*slides in beside Mike, so her thigh is pressed up against his*

So what's new? Are you on strike or what?

*raises voice* Hey, can I get a Corona please? Lime, not lemon, thanks!

Hey, that's as silky smooth as it looks...

*leans closer*

Well, we're not on strike yet... not exactly. If by May 23rd, the company doesn't make a 'final offer', we will be on strike. If they make a final offer before then, we get to vote on it.

*shrugs*

Not a position I want to be in either way.

*starts thinking of other positions he'd like to be in.*

I've been trying to find work elsewhere in the meantime. It was a convenient back-up after things fell apart with the biz.


So... where exactly do you squeeze into this thing?

Neesika!

Neesika!

Oh, go on and build a house for somebody, Jimmy.

Okay, everybody - it's been swell!

Barkeep, another daiquiri.

Bye Jimmy!


*looks into bottom glass*

This won't do at all.

Bartender... I'm thinking Moosehead again. Is good.

Hey, that's as silky smooth as it looks...

*leans closer*

Well, we're not on strike yet... not exactly. If by May 23rd, the company doesn't make a 'final offer', we will be on strike. If they make a final offer before then, we get to vote on it.

*shrugs*

Not a position I want to be in either way.

*starts thinking of other positions he'd like to be in.*

I've been trying to find work elsewhere in the meantime. It was a convenient back-up after things fell apart with the biz.


So... where exactly do you squeeze into this thing?

More like, what do I squeeze into it. Well, take a look...it's not like anything's hidden in this thing! *laughs*

Positions? Positions. Interesting topic...reminds me of a thread we had around here once...

Tell me the truth...does this fabric feel like silk, or like acrylic?

*glances at Dobbs* Hey...are you sure we want Jimmy to leave? The rowdy's usually try busting in around now...do you have a new bouncer in mind?

*sips Corona*

*dances around as he enters the pub*

Why hello, there!

*winks*

I'm here to--*shimmies*--partay!


I'l have a bloody mary.

*clings to Dobbs*