NationStates Jolt Archive

I need some advice from some geeks/girlfriends of geeks. How the hell do you get them interested and get them to ask you out?

Start a debate over who is better - Captain Picard or Captain Kirk. Thats sure to get him/her interested.

I need some advice from some geeks/girlfriends of geeks. How the hell do you get them interested and get them to ask you out?


Well I know that they would rather you ask them to go to the theater or go hang out in the local computer store instead of seeing your boobs. Thats a start. Oh and wear glasses. You look less intimidating then.

*drool @ geeks*

Start a debate over who is better - Captain Picard or Captain Kirk. Thats sure to get him/her interested.
well it wouldn't end up being mush of a debate, i've never even heard of Captain Picard and I don't really know a whole lot about Captain Kirk either

I need some advice from some geeks/girlfriends of geeks. How the hell do you get them interested and get them to ask you out?

Errr... play hard to get? Sorry, I'm not really sure...

Talk to them.

Seriously, say whatever. It'll make them weak at the knees. They'll probably drool and spout nonsense. If you want a good conversation with them, give them your MSN address. Any self-respecting geek will have an internet connection, and should be able to express themselves eloquently enough through a keyboard.

If they are a particularly geeky geek, then perhaps finding out their interests would help too. But that's a bit extreme.

--the above message coming from a geek--

well it wouldn't end up being mush of a debate, i've never even heard of Captain Picard and I don't really know a whole lot about Captain Kirk either

:eek:

Call yourself a geek?!?!?

Sorry Tink now i can answer you.
I guess youd have to be kind and not smothering they would definatly be uncomfortable about to much contact debate the values of X-men Unlimited vs X-men before Marvel went to crap! etc

You must take it really slow(I know of course you do ;) )

well it wouldn't end up being mush of a debate, i've never even heard of Captain Picard and I don't really know a whole lot about Captain Kirk either

:eek:

That's your problem, then! You don't know anything about geekdom!

(although, to be fair, that's trekkies, who are a subset of geeks)

Dont be naughty....geeky guys are afraid of naughtiness to a certain degree. You have to actually get them first and then when the relationship starts flowing........they will show you their animal side. *growl*

Bring chronic and blaze up with them, that'd get my attention. ;)

:eek:

Call yourself a geek?!?!?
i didn't say i was a geek!

I need some advice from some geeks/girlfriends of geeks. How the hell do you get them interested and get them to ask you out?

Two words: Flirt obviously

Geeks are people who dont assume you are flirting with them if you do because they often have very low self esteem and thus will assume you are doing something else, possibly mocking them. If you flirt in such a way that its quite obvious you are sincerely interested in them you will catch their attention. Geeks are often much better at internet conversation than they are real world so talking to them online is a good place to start.

:eek:

That's your problem, then! You don't know anything about geekdom!

(although, to be fair, that's trekkies, who are a subset of geeks)

Amen to that, brother :D

The usual routes are the best. Ask his friends about him etc, get one of your female friends to sound him out and so on. If that doesnt work then dont wait to be asked, ask him yourself. Most guys are just as nervous about asking a girl out as you are of asking a guy. Make the first move and you might be surprised.

Alternativley "accidentally" end up at the same party, feed him a few beers and snog his face off. Hell, it would work on me :p

Amen to that, brother :D

:rolleyes: at TInk.

Some people, eh? :p

As a geek I can say it would be better just to hit him over the head with a hammer. Geeks have a tendancy to... hmm... not notice girls have an interest in them and think that their own interest in said girl would be spurned.

Hell, took me 6 months to ask out the woman who would become my fiancee and she was waiting all that time.

:eek:

Call yourself a geek?!?!?
Please a Geek could snif out her obvious lack of Geekiness in half a Nano!
Pickard is played by Stewart someone or PAtrick someone or something!

They will of course blurt out nonsense and random stuff to impress you.
Im thinking you in Black Wide rimmed glasses would be HOTT!
:D

:eek:

That's your problem, then! You don't know anything about geekdom!

(although, to be fair, that's trekkies, who are a subset of geeks)
well i have my eye on a certain geek and he isn't into Star Trek

Two words: Flirt obviously

Geeks are people who dont assume you are flirting with them if you do because they often have very low self esteem and thus will assume you are doing something else, possibly mocking them. If you flirt in such a way that its quite obvious you are sincerely interested in them you will catch their attention. Geeks are often much better at internet conversation than they are real world so talking to them online is a good place to start.
Quite so! Not that I would know, I mean, but...

Dont be naughty....geeky guys are afraid of naughtiness to a certain degree. You have to actually get them first and then when the relationship starts flowing........they will show you their animal side. *growl*
That is so true!

Don't call them a geek?

:rolleyes: at TInk.

Some people, eh? :p

Exactly, *tuts and shakes head*

Please a Geek could snif out her obvious lack of Geekiness in half a Nano!
Pickard is played by Stewart someone or PAtrick someone or something!

They will of course blurt out nonsense and random stuff to impress you.

Yeah, doesn't seem to work though, believe me I've tried. :(

I need some advice from some geeks/girlfriends of geeks. How the hell do you get them interested and get them to ask you out?
Geek? IRC is the obvious answer
Ask you out? That's gonna be a problem. Just kidding.

At least my geekguy and my geek friends don't date other geeks. So trying to be geek doesn't help. You could be their answer to widen their social circles.

edit: @Peechland. That's so true! I'd never have guessed...

Quite so! Not that I would know, I mean, but...

Being something of a geek myself (though in the UK we dont have the same kind of segregated school social structure that Americans have) I know a little on the subject. Certianly this is how I would like to be approched if a girl was interested in me. But being Aspergic I may not notice it particually well.

Dont be naughty....geeky guys are afraid of naughtiness to a certain degree. You have to actually get them first and then when the relationship starts flowing........they will show you their animal side. *growl*
my geek that I like is always being naughty, we can get kinda flirty on msn

Don't call them a geek?

Exceptionally good advice. While they might know it to be true of themselves, the low self esteem factor I mentioned eariler means that to have it observed from the outside is very damaging. Words such as "Nerd" and "Nark" are also wisely avoided.

Get drunk with him, drop really obvious hints, let him know you want him to do... whatever.
Low self esteem means he probably won't take any step beyond first base without really obvious permission, though it depends what age he is. Alternatively, though, he'll be extremely opportunistic and try everything at once. It can go either way.

well i have my eye on a certain geek and he isn't into Star Trek

Again with the going over and talking bit.

Don't call them a geek?
my geeks don't mind being called geeks

my geek that I like is always being naughty, we can get kinda flirty on msn

Then quit stalling and ask him yourself :)

Yeah, doesn't seem to work though, believe me I've tried. :(
Oh yeah
im not a big fan of Star trek unfortunatly
If WW2 was geeking i would be King!
*bites lip*

Again with the going over and talking bit.
i talk to him all the time

Oh yeah
im not a big fan of Star trek unfortunatly
If WW2 was geeking i would be King!
*bites lip*

Someone needs to invent a word for History geeks. They're becoming more and more common. Any thoughts?

Then quit stalling and ask him yourself :)
i can't, i'm too shy

As a geek I can say it would be better just to hit him over the head with a hammer. Geeks have a tendancy to... hmm... not notice girls have an interest in them and think that their own interest in said girl would be spurned.

That's so true. :(

well i have my eye on a certain geek and he isn't into Star Trek

It seems you already know things about him. Do you share common interests ? If so, just start talking to him and get to know him better. A lot of the initiative to take the "talking" to "hanging out together" to "be together" will have to come from you though - since your average geek indeed has low self esteem where it comes to the opposite sex.

If you're not that patient.. my best friend (who is female) made it abundantly clear to her great love that she liked him, by for example using him as a pillow on a party. He initially turned her down, but about a month later they got together. But again, she was the one who made the move...

Of course, it is quite possible he does not fancy you even though he is a geek. Keep that in mind.

Edit: I was waaaay too slow I see ;)

Oh yeah
im not a big fan of Star trek unfortunatly
If WW2 was geeking i would be King!
*bites lip*

*bites lip also*

Me too! :D

i talk to him all the time

Well, that's pretty much it. You could be incredibly blunt; "Will you go out with me?"

Depending on the kind of person you are, you can always judge his reaction; if it is unfavorable, say "Oops, that was the punch-line to a joke I was typing in another window!"

Or something.

i can't, i'm too shy

Most geeks are too. You're just gonna have to ask, otherwise it'll get nowhere. :p

i can't, i'm too shy

Heh, and what makes you think he doesnt feel just a shy about it?

One of you has to make the first move!

That's how you do it! Give the entire male geek population of General his email address! We'll make him see sense!

I can't see any flaws with that plan! :D

It seems you already know things about him. Do you share common interests ? If so, just start talking to him and get to know him better. A lot of the initiative to take the "talking" to "hanging out together" to "be together" will have to come from you though - since your average geek indeed has low self esteem where it comes to the opposite sex.

If you're not that patient.. my best friend (who is female) made it abundantly clear to her great love that she liked him, by for example using him as a pillow on a party. He initially turned her down, but about a month later they got together. But again, she was the one who made the move...

Of course, it is quite possible he does not fancy you even though he is a geek. Keep that in mind.
he's a really good friend, i tend to spend more time with him than my other friends cause we live close by and are always getting buses together and i talk to him a lot on msn, more than my other friends.

and i know there's a chance he doesn't fancy me, that's why i can't ask him, he said he thinks i'm hot but i dunno whether that was just to cheer me up or not

The problem with chatting over the internet is identity. Sure, the dumb geeks will go after anything feminine showing up in the chat rooms, but the smart ones go with 'male until proven female' sort of thing (like right now, I don't know for sure you're a girl).
But speaking as a dork (NOT a geek) the best course of action is just showing continued interest in the guy. Maybe you have to take the initiative, but don't do it too much. I was so shy, my girl had to give REALLY obvious hints to make me ask her out. But once you do get one in your grasp, you got him hook, line, and sinker.

I'm an example for all dorks and geeks to follow. I've been dating a beautiful model for two and a half years. And the future's looking pretty good ;)

i can't, i'm too shy
You're gonna have a LOOOONG wait then. Obvious, be obvious about it, and I mean blindingly "I need your help to undo my bra" type of obvious... or a hammer. Hammers work.

Someone needs to invent a word for History geeks. They're becoming more and more common. Any thoughts?
Historioligists or were you meaning virigins! :rolleyes:

Ah Pasties?

You're gonna have a LOOOONG wait then. Obvious, be obvious about it, and I mean blindingly "I need your help to undo my bra" type of obvious... or a hammer. Hammers work.
i told him i think he's sexy, i thought that was kind of obvious, he just didn't believe me though

he said he thinks i'm hot but i dunno whether that was just to cheer me up or not


Jeez Louise, just ask the guy. Trust me, when a geek tells you he thinks you're hot HE THINKS YOUR HOT!

I dont want to get preachy but there are times in life when you have to go out on a limb and take a chance. If it doeasnt work out, you'll get over it, trust me.

he's a really good friend, i tend to spend more time with him than my other friends cause we live close by and are always getting buses together and i talk to him a lot on msn, more than my other friends.

and i know there's a chance he doesn't fancy me, that's why i can't ask him, he said he thinks i'm hot but i dunno whether that was just to cheer me up or not
A pic of me says he thinks your hot but is definatly afraid!
Ask him!
1)You get a Boyfriend
2) you get a Pic of me
Its Win Win.... :rolleyes:

Jeez Louise, just ask the guy. Trust me, when a geek tells you he thinks you're hot HE THINKS YOUR HOT!

I dont want to get preachy but there are times in life when you have to go out on a limb and take a chance. If it doeasnt work out, you'll get over it, trust me.
but the thing is, he's a part of my group of friends, now my group of friends was nearly split up and is still kind of a bit shakey because two of the lads in it asked out a couple of the girls in it and now the girls spend half their time avoiding those guys, i don't wanna end up being like that with Bill

A pic of me says he thinks your hot but is definatly afraid!
Ask him!
1)You get a Boyfriend
2) you get a Pic of me
Its Win Win.... :rolleyes:
hmmmm.....that's a tempting offer, i may just think about it

i told him i think he's sexy, i thought that was kind of obvious, he just didn't believe me though
We usually don't. I've been with my fiancee for two years and I STILL can't figure out why she isn't running away screaming.

No, you have to be REALLY obvious. Most flirting is viewed with suspision as it's usually meant as an insult (yes, I know this is a generality). Seriously, don't say "I think you're sexy" say, "I really like you, I mean REALLY like you. How do you feel about me?" After he gets over the shock (about 20 minutes) you'll have a geek who can fix your computer whenever you need it (which my fiancee says also comes in handy). ;)

Two words: Flirt obviously

Geeks are people who dont assume you are flirting with them if you do because they often have very low self esteem and thus will assume you are doing something else, possibly mocking them. If you flirt in such a way that its quite obvious you are sincerely interested in them you will catch their attention. Geeks are often much better at internet conversation than they are real world so talking to them online is a good place to start.

I was about to call that rubbish, but that wouldn't be wise...

Anyway, geeks who have low self esteem? i dunno maybe they exist, but i know a whole bunch of geeks, and none of them have that problem.

Kind regards Bjerrk(istan)

but the thing is, he's a part of my group of friends, now my group of friends was nearly split up and is still kind of a bit shakey because two of the lads in it asked out a couple of the girls in it and now the girls spend half their time avoiding those guys, i don't wanna end up being like that with Bill

[Totally off-topic rant] That kind of circle of friend splitting crap really pisses me off. It's happened in my circle twice now, and it really isn't necessary. If you were friends before someone else went out with someone else, then they split up, what purpose does it serve to take sides in someone else's defunct relationship?? [/Totally off-topic rant]

Ahem...er, as to the topic. I would say just take the plunge and say how you feel. It's obvious he's fairly insecure, so you're probably gonna have to bite the bullet.

Well I know that they would rather you ask them to go to the theater or go hang out in the local computer store instead of seeing your boobs. Thats a start. Oh and wear glasses. You look less intimidating then.

*drool @ geeks*
Speak for yourself. We geeks like boobs just as much as any other guy. :D

but the thing is, he's a part of my group of friends, now my group of friends was nearly split up and is still kind of a bit shakey because two of the lads in it asked out a couple of the girls in it and now the girls spend half their time avoiding those guys, i don't wanna end up being like that with Bill

Understandable.. but is the current situation of surpressing your feelings for him any better ?
Aside: being open about it would probably give him a big confidence boost. Even if he does not fancy you... that might be worth it. Though you'd still feel sh*t in the latter case of course.

but the thing is, he's a part of my group of friends, now my group of friends was nearly split up and is still kind of a bit shakey because two of the lads in it asked out a couple of the girls in it and now the girls spend half their time avoiding those guys, i don't wanna end up being like that with Bill

Ok, would you start avoiding him if he said no? Would he start avoiding you if you said no? If you really are as good friends as it seems then you should be able to deal with it. If the two of you can muster the maturity to do that then theres no real problem.

i told him i think he's sexy, i thought that was kind of obvious, he just didn't believe me though

Grab his crotch when you say that. The sudden rush of blood from his brain to other parts of his body will bring about a temporary bout of sanity, and he'll realize you mean it.

Grab his crotch when you say that. The sudden rush of blood from his brain to other parts of his body will bring about a temporary bout of sanity, and he'll realize you mean it.

Genius!!!

We usually don't. I've been with my fiancee for two years and I STILL can't figure out why she isn't running away screaming.

No, you have to be REALLY obvious. Most flirting is viewed with suspision as it's usually meant as an insult (yes, I know this is a generality). Seriously, don't say "I think you're sexy" say, "I really like you, I mean REALLY like you. How do you feel about me?" After he gets over the shock (about 20 minutes) you'll have a geek who can fix your computer whenever you need it (which my fiancee says also comes in handy). ;)
Thats true Sexy implies sex and sex implies pressure and pressure makes Geeks implode!

Grab his crotch when you say that. The sudden rush of blood from his brain to other parts of his body will bring about a temporary bout of sanity, and he'll realize you mean it.
That or he'll never want to see you again for fear of your ruined friendship.

Ask him to the movies and slip your hand i nhis try that but that might creep him out too.-perhaps a little tap first!

Glomp him. Alot. Uh, be a tomboy. Yeah, being a tomboy usually works. You know with the computer gaming and Anime and....yeah.

Thats true Sexy implies sex and sex implies pressure and pressure makes Geeks implode!
Oh not IMPLODE persay, gibber insanely and suddenly be unable to use higher brain functions yes, but not actually implode. ;)

That or he'll never want to see you again for fear of your ruined friendship.

Ask him to the movies and slip your hand i nhis try that but that might creep him out too.-perhaps a little tap first!

I've seen it work many a time at a gaming convention. There are some girls who go to those conventions just for the sport.

I've seen it work many a time at a gaming convention. There are some girls who go to those conventions just for the sport.

Dammit, I'm going to the wrong conventions obviously. It never happens to me :(

I've seen it work many a time at a gaming convention. There are some girls who go to those conventions just for the sport.
yeah id believe it!
Also Girls that go to those things just to pick up guys.
you couldnt imagine Guys going to....(where do girls go?) to pick up girls!

Just out of interest what sort of age group are we talking about here?

Hmmmm, gone very quite..... Maybe she's asking him ~crosses fingers~

nah, i just nipped to the chippy


we're both 17

Ah, TInk, you've just broken my heart, but here's some advice anyway, coming from someone who probably is a geek himself (or is it possible to be a Trekkie and not be a geek?). ;)

Be obvious. By which I don't mean provocative or anything, I just mean drop *heavy* hints, preferably several of them over a period of time. If you only drop light hints, he'll probably think them over afterwards, and rationalise them in such a way as to think that you're not really interested, that you were just kidding/flirting and that you'd say no if he asked. You mustn't let him do that, or you won't get anywhere.

Getting to know him as a friend first is good, and it seems you're already doing that. It'll make him feel more comfortable, and possibly less shy. Now, as I said, what you have to do is introduce regular, increasingly heavy hints. (Though, again, don't be provocative or you might make him more shy and scare him away: the aim is simply to make him not be able to doubt). Let him think them over one by one until the only conclusion he can possibly draw is that you *are* serious.

nah, i just nipped to the chippy
we're both 17


Hehehe, I remember being 17, Just :)

Seriously though, if your good friends anyway you two should be able to handle it however it works out. Ask him if he wants to go to see a film - Star wars is out any day now :) - and take it from there. If it doesnt work out then be up front about wanting to stay friends.

Hehehe, I remember being 17, Just :)

Seriously though, if your good friends anyway you two should be able to handle it however it works out. Ask him if he wants to go to see a film - Star wars is out any day now :) - and take it from there. If it doesnt work out then be up front about wanting to stay friends.
well, i have considered asking him if he wants to go see Star Wars just the 2 of us cause our other friends are going with another group of people who he doesn't particularly wanna hang out with, but i dunno

yeah id believe it!
Also Girls that go to those things just to pick up guys.
you couldnt imagine Guys going to....(where do girls go?) to pick up girls!

The mall, maybe?

I love my geek. My boyfriend is the most amazing person I have ever met. We really got to know each other over the net. We spent months on end just flirting with each other on MSN then I eventually just said something along the lines of, "So...are we like...boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Apparently we were and now we still are :) We have some completely opposite interests but we're much the same, only I lack that geek/nerd/square aspect, though I have tendencies to lean that way.

I'll just suggest what quite a few people have said and that's to talk to him on the net. It's very casual and you can both relax and be yourselves, when in the flesh you're probably self-consciously doing and saying things that you think will impress him when really it will not. Good luck in your pursuit.

I'm interested to know why geeks are so fashionable all of a sudden. I mean, I love each and every geek/nerd/square alive but when you're in highschool people seem to choose not to acknowledge their existence. I'm still in highschool though so I'm not one of those people. Geeks are the way to go though. They're so sweet and sincere and funny and really rather hot. You guys are great! :)

Originally Posted by FairyTInkArisen
well, i have considered asking him if he wants to go see Star Wars just the 2 of us cause our other friends are going with another group of people who he doesn't particularly wanna hang out with, but i dunno

You can't fake being Star Wars fan so if you want to go see it with him, it's probably best you like it too.

ok some of this stuff is nonsence
first of all, captin kirk and picard only mean something to trekies, not geeks
i am a geek, and almost all of my friends r geeks so here is some advice
don't come on too strong
if u do u'll scare him away
open a general conversation about anything
it dosent have to be about some stupid show that noone watches any more *glare*
be kind, but not over agressive
geeks are not the type of person to jump in bed with u on the first date
try being more of a friend first
do that and u will have a very good chance of making it work
now this also goes for when ur with him
dont move too fast, like i said, we're not the type of person (usually) to jump in bed with u on the first date
(now there is also the problem of there are different types of geeks (ex trekies) and i only know how to handel my kind)
just be ur self, to push it too fast, and it should work
:rolleyes:

And a Geek goes to bed.. . ... ... .. .

You can't fake being a fan of Star Wars so if you want to go see it with him, it's probably best you like it too.
well I'm actually rather looking forward to seeing Star Wars, it looks like the kinda film I'll like, he knows I havn't seen a Star Wars film before and I don't think he's particularly bothered, he isn't exactly a hard core Star Wars fan himself

The mall, maybe?

Of course the mall! :eek:

well, i have considered asking him if he wants to go see Star Wars just the 2 of us cause our other friends are going with another group of people who he doesn't particularly wanna hang out with, but i dunno

Ok, it's an omen, you arnt gonna get another chance like that. Please, for the sanity of of everyone else on here, ask him!

Ok, it's an omen, you arnt gonna get another chance like that. Please, for the sanity of of everyone else on here, ask him!
it isn't that easy!

well it wouldn't end up being mush of a debate, i've never even heard of Captain Picard and I don't really know a whole lot about Captain Kirk either

If you dont even know about one of the pillars of geekdom, why are you interested in geeks?

If you dont even know about one of the pillars of geekdom, why are you interested in geeks?
not all geeks are Trekkies! only 2 of mine are, and the one i'm interested in isn't

If you dont even know about one of the pillars of geekdom, why are you interested in geeks?Read the rest of the thread.

it isn't that easy! *annoyed* Of course! Nothing in life is easy! If you expect everything to come easy, you won't get anything! I had to find that out the hard way. Things don't come immediately to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe either!

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Someone needs to invent a word for History geeks. They're becoming more and more common. Any thoughts?

Umm, History geek?

well i have my eye on a certain geek and he isn't into Star Trek

Then he might not be a real geek

my geek that I like is always being naughty, we can get kinda flirty on msn


then he's a wannabe geek..

Someone needs to invent a word for History geeks. They're becoming more and more common. Any thoughts?

Historians?

Then he might not be a real geek
since when do all geeks have to be Trekkies?!

it isn't that easy!

Yes it is :)

You say "Hey Bill, do you fancy going to see Star Wars with me at the weekend?"

Seriously, I may be old(ish) but I do remember what it's like to be 17. Take the plunge and go for it. If you dont you will regret it, especially if he ends up with another girl because he didnt know how you felt.

Dont let your fears rule your life. Dont miss out because your afraid of what *might* happen.

then he's a wannabe geek..
i don't think he is

Yes it is :)

You say "Hey Bill, do you fancy going to see Star Wars with me at the weekend?"

Seriously, I may be old(ish) but I do remember what it's like to be 17. Take the plunge and go for it. If you dont you will regret it, especially if he ends up with another girl because he didnt know how you felt.

Dont let your fears rule your life. Dont miss out because your afraid of what *might* happen.
i may talk to him tonight and see if he wants to go just the 2 of us but as friends and see how things go

i don't think he is


ok then be an uber slut since your geeky guy is a bit on the saucy side....


how bout this: just be yourself

Historians?

Nah, that implies that we have written a book :)

I haven't even appeared on TV.

ok then be an uber slut since your geeky guy is a bit on the saucy side....


how bout this: just be yourself
lol, i think he would be terrified if i went into uber slut mode



i always am myself

i may talk to him tonight and see if he wants to go just the 2 of us but as friends and see how things goThat's a good idea. It might work. I've invited friends to concerts and things before. Okay, none of them became girl/boyfriends, but that's because I wasn't exactly interested... *oops, wrong time for comment*


~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Well as a longtime chaser of geeks i have to agree with a what a few people said so far... you have to make the first move... geeks rarely get the hint you are interested in them and they are intimidaded easily, it is almost like chasing down a skittish cat... *laughs* But it is well worth the effort

Nah, that implies that we have written a book :)

I haven't even appeared on TV.I have, but that's beside the point. After all, I don't exactly fit into that category. I have very low grades in history.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

how about saying u play their favorite game? its good iif u actually do, so u can complan about gettin spawncamped:mad: or somethin- they can prolly relate to that, and they will start talking

i may talk to him tonight and see if he wants to go just the 2 of us but as friends and see how things go

Ok, make sure you do ~wags finger~

And make sure you come back and tell us how it goes!

Oh, and to paraphrase a classic movie :

"If the guys asks you if you're asking him on a date, you say YES!"

A shiny penny or something to the first person to name the film :)

i always am myselfIt's difficult not to be. [/moral]

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

I have, but that's beside the point. After all, I don't exactly fit into that category. I have very low grades in history.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

You'r not Dan Brown are you?

</jk> :p

Well, I'm an engineer, not a geek, but really you just have to get on with it. Stop faffing about, stop dropping hints and actually ask him out or similar. Not "Do you want to go out with me?" - that's too vague. "I would like to go to with you" is better.

I don't think there's a great difference, other than hobbies and interests, between a geek and any other boy. At that age I couldn't take a hint from a girl and usually assumed that any compliment that could possibly be taken the wrong way was a piss take.

If you [I]must be "subtle" about it, you could always just gradually become more physical. An arm around the waist or shoulders; sitting down so you're leaning on him, that sort of thing. Don't be tarty about it (no sitting on his lap straight off!), just increase the level of physical contact over a period of time. You can do it quite casually. Then it's a relatively easy step to "Y'know, I really like you" while looking right into his eyes (handily you'll not be far away at this point). Then, if you want, you're all set up for a quick smooch.

But, really, just get on with it. Make your intentions clear without being overbearing. If he's not getting the message, either step it up a bit or just flat out tell him. But the problem with the purely verbal approach is that you can be left a bit "stranded" at the end of it:

You: "I really like you."
Him: "I really like you too."
*awkward silence during which you wonder if you're meant to smooch*
You: "Well, that's that moment lost forever. Bum."

See?

I reckon the friendly physical contact thing is a winner. You've got your demonstration of affection/intention, you can do it gradually (just don't take forever) and it'll get you in the perfect position to finally seduce him (to whatever extent is appropriate). But if you like him and you're reasonably sure he likes you, one or other of you is either going to have to do something about it or just wonder if you should have for ever.

I suppose it comes back to that "It's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't", though there are obvious exceptions to that rule too...

<stuff>

Here, here!

You'r not Dan Brown are you?

</jk> :pNot funny. :mad:

No, I'm actually Saparmurat Niyazov. [/self-deprecation]

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

lol, i think he would be terrified if i went into uber slut mode



i always am myself


dont sass me missy

Here, here!
I think you mean "Hear, hear" as in "Listen, listen" as opposed to "Here, here" meaning "This post, this post". A lot of people make that mistake and assume that that post is the important thing, when really it's the post they're quoting.


~Czardas

dont sass me missy
sorry..... :confused: what does sass mean?

The classic scenario, which I have personally lived through, and seen many times in other groups, is what I call the Threshing Machine.

I've seen a non-geek girl (or woman - I've seen this happen to geeks in their early 30s) go through a group of geeks like a threshing machine through a wheat field.

Not one-night stands - but one agonizing relationship after another over a period of years - until a group of geek friends are no longer friends and they are laying on the ground exhausted by the emotional rollercoaster.

The shorter version of this scenario, which I've seen at gaming conventions, involves the same number of people, but in the short span of 72 hours - I call this one the Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Not only do geeks not have any sense of when you're interested, or pay attention to flirting, but they have no other social skills in terms of recognizing whether or not a particular woman is good for them.

sorry..... :confused: what does sass mean?

lol.....


sassy, back talking, being a snoot.........you taught me "snog" now i teach you "sass"

now i wanna snog someone.

lol.....


sassy, back talking, being a snoot.........you taught me "snog" now i teach you "sass"

now i wanna snog someone.
lol, sorry, didn't mean sass you then :fluffle:



oo oo! pick me! pick me!

arg! somebody calm my nerves! i feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack! he won't be online for another 3 hours

arg! somebody calm my nerves! i feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack! he won't be online for another 3 hours


awww..... :fluffle:

*snogs Tink quite thoroughly*

arg! somebody calm my nerves! i feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack! he won't be online for another 3 hours
Calm down! He won't be online for another 3 hours! (=600 posts in NSian)


~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

awww..... :fluffle:

*snogs Tink quite thoroughly*
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Get drunk with him, drop really obvious hints, let him know you want him to do... whatever.
Low self esteem means he probably won't take any step beyond first base without really obvious permission, though it depends what age he is. Alternatively, though, he'll be extremely opportunistic and try everything at once. It can go either way.

Yes! That is how to get a geek in a nutshell! You have to give him permission to like you. When I was in high school I didn't date at all, and when I did have a crush and was compelled to act upon It and hideous emotional damage resulted, after a few times I learned my lesson "Girls aren't worth the pain". But in retrospect, there were quite a few girls who were interested in me but I was too depressed, with absolutely no self esteem, so I didn't notice. They were subtle about it though, My sexuality must have been suspect since I didn't pick up on thier hints. It was a self-perpetuating cycle.

But now I'm all growed up and I'll give you a tip. I'm still fairly well unapproachable but I actually notice people now since I'm not so caught up in my own problems. This may not work since the technique I'm describing is being used by people who dont really know me but When your in class with him, or whatever try to get a little distance between you. Sit opposite him (like on the other side of the room, one row ahead) or in front of him. Make eye contact with him when he looks up, but look away when he noticies, Its ok for him to see you looking at you for a moment though, he needs to see the look on your face, but then look away and pretend like your weren't looking. Thats a pretty obvious sign, but the dead kicker is when you sit in front of him. Turn your head and glance back at him. I think this must be some kind of genetic thing with women because all girls seem to do it.

These signals should sufficiently intrigue him. (If you do them right) And just to get technical, the person you describe doesn't sound like much of a geek if he's not into starwars. Just curious, why do you define him as a geek? He just sounds like a shy introverted person who is probably working through some stuff but would be loathe to let the world know. But if your friends with him, that could mean he's not willing to risk your friendship because he needs support. Even though he could get more out of a relationship with you, depressed people have no courage so he wouldn't want to jeopadise his little world.

Or, maybe he's just a repressed homosexual :D

arg! somebody calm my nerves! i feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack! he won't be online for another 3 hours
I think I have a dart around here somewhere...

Use the popcorn manuver, Luke, er, Tink! The classic "acidently" grab his hand in the popcorn bucket. Look at his face when you do so, and pull his hand out of the popcorn. Even I'd figure THAT one out. ;)

These signals should sufficiently intrigue him. (If you do them right) And just to get technical, the person you describe doesn't sound like much of a geek if he's not into starwars. Just curious, why do you define him as a geek? He just sounds like a shy introverted person who is probably working through some stuff but would be loathe to let the world know. But if your friends with him, that could mean he's not willing to risk your friendship because he needs support. Even though he could get more out of a relationship with you, depressed people have no courage so he wouldn't want to jeopadise his little world.

Or, maybe he's just a repressed homosexual :D
he is into Star Wars just not fanatically so, I classify him as a geek because he likes sci-fi stuff, he spends the majority of his time on the internet, and he knows all about computer stuff

and tbh, i wouldn't necasarilly be surprised if he was gay lol

I think I have a dart around here somewhere...

Use the popcorn manuver, Luke, er, Tink! The classic "acidently" grab his hand in the popcorn bucket. Look at his face when you do so, and pull his hand out of the popcorn. Even I'd figure THAT one out. ;)
the only problem with that is neither of us ever get popcorn lol

well it wouldn't end up being mush of a debate, i've never even heard of Captain Picard and I don't really know a whole lot about Captain Kirk either :eek:

My fellow Geeks, we must educate this indivudal. Prepare the DVD player! Frank! Push the button!

:eek:

My fellow Geeks, we must educate this indivudal. Prepare the DVD player! Frank! Push the button!Frank?



~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

and tbh, i wouldn't necasarilly be surprised if he was gay lol


Hehehe, in which case you're into the whole "Will and Grace" thing.

Grace : "I told you I loved you. You told me you wanted to sleep with men."
Will : "And I *do* enjoy that."

he is into Star Wars just not fanatically so, I classify him as a geek because he likes sci-fi stuff, he spends the majority of his time on the internet, and he knows all about computer stuff

and tbh, i wouldn't necasarilly be surprised if he was gay lol

Doesn't mean he is Gay, maybe he's jiust very patient about finding the right person.

Doesn't mean he is Gay, maybe he's jiust very patient about finding the right person.
that stuff isn't why i think there's a chance he's gay, he 'jokingly' flirts with guys sometimes, i dunno whether that's because he's gay or just comfortable with his sexuality

arg! somebody calm my nerves! i feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack! he won't be online for another 3 hours

There are lots of good points here. Remember that you thought he was just humoring you when he said you were hot. Well, he probably thought the same thing when you said he was sexy. When you're complimenting him avoid using typical words, hot, sexy, cute, etc. Say a very real and very distinct physical compliment. "Oh, my, I never noticed before but you have beautiful eyes."

Do the SW movie thing and let him just feel like you're going as friends at first, to put him at ease. If you pressure him and he's truly geeky, he may balk. So just let it be casual and loose. Then while you're out just gently touch him. Rub his shoulder, touch his back, keep your hand on his a little longer when he hands you the ticket, etc. In the movie, reach over a couple of times and just touch his leg or his knee. He'll get the point. If it seems to be going well and he seems to be responding (read: his eyes are no longer in his head) then try reaching over and just leaving your hand on his knee or thigh (not too high, you don't want to kill him).

Just be gentle and be clear and you'll get your geek. If none of this works, then you're right he's gay. That's the only explanation.

that stuff isn't why i think there's a chance he's gay, he 'jokingly' flirts with guys sometimes, i dunno whether that's because he's gay or just comfortable with his sexuality
pffft I do that, its not that im gay I just like freaking people out.

*sigh* sometimes I wish I was bi so I would have twice the chance of finding someone

Nah, that implies that we have written a book :).

And maybe have put some effort in :D

I haven't even appeared on TV.

Ohhhh I have....dancing (of all the damn things) for my primary school...

I'm I part way to becoming a historian!?!? :D

that stuff isn't why i think there's a chance he's gay, he 'jokingly' flirts with guys sometimes, i dunno whether that's because he's gay or just comfortable with his sexuality

Outward behaviour is deceptive unfortunately. A guy might walk around with earrings, act girly and have Gay friends - but not be Gay. A man maybe married with kids but suppressing his Gay tendencies under the guise of being a family man. It would be hard to tell unless he is open about it.

pffft I do that, its not that im gay I just like freaking people out.

*sigh* sometimes I wish I was bi so I would have twice the chance of finding someone
same here lol

same here lol

I'll bet you your post count that he's not gay. He's just a geek. Everybody always thinks we're gay. We don't follow societal norms... that's why we're considered geeks.

I'll bet you your post count that he's not gay. He's just a geek. Everybody always thinks we're gay. We don't follow societal norms... that's why we're considered geeks.
nah, i don't think he is gay, but still that doesn't mean i would be all that surprised if he told me he is

same here lol

*Raises eyebrow* :D

complement his/her shoes. It worked for me :) :D :D

In respect to the original geek question. Not the gay debate.

TA! :D

I need some advice from some geeks/girlfriends of geeks. How the hell do you get them interested and get them to ask you out?

Why are you asking us?

*looks around*

Oh. Okay. Silly question. :p

Why are you asking us?

*looks around*

Oh. Okay. Silly question. :p

LOL

Tink babe.


Don't be nervous about things like asking him to star wars. Especially if you are already friends, he's not going to think you like him over that. Get nervous about things that might actually let him know ;)

Oh and don't over think. Over thinking will make you start seeing signals that aren't there, good and bad.



:fluffle:

Tink babe.


Don't be nervous about things like asking him to star wars. Especially if you are already friends, he's not going to think you like him over that. Get nervous about things that might actually let him know ;)

Oh and don't over think. Over thinking will make you start seeing signals that aren't there, good and bad.



:fluffle:

:fluffle:

Oh, wait, was that fluffle not for me?

Tink babe.


Don't be nervous about things like asking him to star wars. Especially if you are already friends, he's not going to think you like him over that. Get nervous about things that might actually let him know ;)

Oh and don't over think. Over thinking will make you start seeing signals that aren't there, good and bad.



:fluffle:

I concur on the point of over-thinking. I myself do it FAR too often.

The problem with being subtle is, it's usually impossible to distinguish between subtly liking someone as more than a friend and openly liking someone as a friend. I also have a problem with having your friends talk for you. In high school for a while I hung out with these two girls, one of which was the girlfriend of one of my friends, and another I wouldn't have minded dating at all, but I've never been one to go out of my way to impress girls or try to pick them up, so unless I knew for certain they were interested in me, I wouldn't bother. Then one day, out of the blue the girlfriend of my friend asked me how I felt about the other girl, and I immediately went on guard and tried to find out why she was asking me such a question, but she wouldn't tell me, and that's where it ended. Then a few years back, I had gotten an apartment with someone and then both him and his girlfriend told me the girl across the street, another girl I wouldn't have at all minded dating, was saying how she thought I was cute, yet she barely ever said a word to me when she was over and already had a boyfriend who was twice my size, so again, nothing ever came of it. Then about a year ago, I was at a party, and ran home to do something, and apparently a girl was asking where I disappeared to to my cousin because she was interested in me, and he told me about it when I came back, yet the entire rest of the night, the girl was else where or talking to someone else and left without ever saying a word to me. In otherwords, if a guy doesn't seem to be getting your "subtle" hints, it's probably because he just thinks that part of being your friend, and the third party crap is just that, crap that he's not likely going to believe (I mean, if he's not going to believe you mean it when you tell him you think he's sexy, how can he trust someone other than you telling him such things?).

And now, to make matters worse, I've known a girl solely online from a message board for about 3 years who's posts I've always rather enjoyed, but we never had reason to interact, plus, she's almost 5 years younger than me, at the time we met, she was 14/15, I was 19, so going out of my way to talk to her wasn't the best of ideas as is. Then last November, our ages then being 22 and 17, I posted my picture on that message board, and her response was to club me on the head and drag me off to her cave after drooling over my long blonde hair. I didn't think much about it, and had even talked to another girl I had met on the same message board about possibly getting together because she had been through quite a few hard times and I liked her and thought she deserved someone who would actually care about her, but unfortunately, she was pregnant at the time, and the asshole who knocked her up came crawling back so she's still with him and still complains how he neglects her, so then Christmas Eve comes around and a big announcement is made on the boards, to which I comment that hopefully it'll breathe some life into them (because they had degraded in quality quite seriously by that time), and she responds with a comment about breathing some life into me, and after some continued flirting, we finally add each other to msn, before which, she sends me a penguin on my web site (we use penguins for private messages because carrier pidgeons just weren't cool enough) which read:

"Me, Eac linked me here a while ago but i never registered due to a few reasons. First, Im to damn self absorbed and second I felt slightly out of place here like I would be busting in on something I was mostly uninvited to. But in sheer boredom today i read through most of the site. After joking around with you on ninjai also I felt more of a need to say a few things to you. I know I sound kind of stalker like and I have never exactly talked to you before so I can not rightfully call myself your friend But I wanted to let you know..You have an amazing mind and though I do not agree with everything you write, what you do write, you do well and it seems, honestly. I very much respect you and think from what I have seen you are a good guy with alot of good things in your future if you take the oppertunities that present themselves to you. Now that i sound like a fortune cookie..I also wanted to give you a giant *hug* and a good /goving =D /bows -Jaxxy"

I've been head over heels in love with the girl ever since, and the more we talked online after that, the more strongly we seemed to feel for each other, and by the time she turned 18 at the end of February, and I had a ticket to fly out to MA to meet here the first weekend in March, we had been seriously discussing the possibility of marriage, had names picked out for our first child (Eris Faelan for a girl and Ares James for a boy), and were joking about who'd be the first to rip the other's clothes off over that weekend.

Then, we finally met, and she turns around and decides she's not attracted to me after all, and that we should just be friends because she didn't feel some magical uncontrollable, inexpicable chemistry for me the moment she saw me in person. It was like running towards her, arms open, eyes closed, through an open field, only to suddenly find myself slamming into a brick wall, and even after recovering from a two month bout of suicidal depression (which was pretty much a condensed version of the 4 years of suicidal depression I went through from the age of 16 to 20), I can't help but fear if she could have such a reaction after everything we shared together online (she knows more about me than anyone else who has ever known me), that I'm destined to be that guy friend girls have no real interest in dating but will gladly complain about how much of an asshole their boyfriend is to.

I'm hoping that I'm wrong and she just got scared and it's her fear of commitment trying to drive me away from her rather than her inexplicably losing any and all interest in being with me (she actually warned me the latter might happen before we met), but if so, she put on a convincing enough performance to nearly scare me to death (quite literally). But, I've put together some songs that make me think of us, and I plan to burn it to a CD, then, after attending the Gathering of the Juggalos this July in OH, drive from there to MA and spend an hour or a few (and if it goes particularly well, the night) with her, and have her listen to it while we talk and maybe dance and try to win her back before driving all the way back to Wisconsin. Not only is she the first girl to ever show any real interest in me, but she also perfectly matches the woman I've dreamed about spending my life with for nearly a decade, and I just can't accept defeat and move on that easily. When she told me she might get scared and want to run away, I told her I'd keep after her, and I intend to keep that promise. I have my doubts as to whether or not it'll work (because as I said, she was damn convincing when she said she could never love me as much as she thought she did before we met), but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try.








So yeah, long story short, don't be shy, take charge and let him know exactly how you feel and where you want your relationship with him to go. I know if I were him and you took that route, I'd be yours forever, but then, I've also got a thing for dominant women and could see myself gladly entering into a mistress/slave type of relationship, so... Though it should be noted that after the initial flirting and the message quoted above, I was the one to move the relationship beyond friends to discussing the possibility of marriage and such, but that was only because she made me feel confident that I could do so without scaring her off. I took a few chances where I was unsure how she'd respond, but without her making the first move, I would have never had the courage to do so.

The problem with being subtle is, it's usually impossible to distinguish between subtly liking someone as more than a friend and openly liking someone as a friend. I also have a problem with having your friends talk for you. In high school for a while I hung out with these two girls, one of which was the girlfriend of one of my friends, and another I wouldn't have minded dating at all, but I've never been one to go out of my way to impress girls or try to pick them up, so unless I knew for certain they were interested in me, I wouldn't bother. Then one day, out of the blue the girlfriend of my friend asked me how I felt about the other girl, and I immediately went on guard and tried to find out why she was asking me such a question, but she wouldn't tell me, and that's where it ended. Then a few years back, I had gotten an apartment with someone and then both him and his girlfriend told me the girl across the street, another girl I wouldn't have at all minded dating, was saying how she thought I was cute, yet she barely ever said a word to me when she was over and already had a boyfriend who was twice my size, so again, nothing ever came of it. Then about a year ago, I was at a party, and ran home to do something, and apparently a girl was asking where I disappeared to to my cousin because she was interested in me, and he told me about it when I came back, yet the entire rest of the night, the girl was else where or talking to someone else and left without ever saying a word to me. In otherwords, if a guy doesn't seem to be getting your "subtle" hints, it's probably because he just thinks that part of being your friend, and the third party crap is just that, crap that he's not likely going to believe (I mean, if he's not going to believe you mean it when you tell him you think he's sexy, how can he trust someone other than you telling him such things?).

And now, to make matters worse, I've known a girl solely online from a message board for about 3 years who's posts I've always rather enjoyed, but we never had reason to interact, plus, she's almost 5 years younger than me, at the time we met, she was 14/15, I was 19, so going out of my way to talk to her wasn't the best of ideas as is. Then last November, our ages then being 22 and 17, I posted my picture on that message board, and her response was to club me on the head and drag me off to her cave after drooling over my long blonde hair. I didn't think much about it, and had even talked to another girl I had met on the same message board about possibly getting together because she had been through quite a few hard times and I liked her and thought she deserved someone who would actually care about her, but unfortunately, she was pregnant at the time, and the asshole who knocked her up came crawling back so she's still with him and still complains how he neglects her, so then Christmas Eve comes around and a big announcement is made on the boards, to which I comment that hopefully it'll breathe some life into them (because they had degraded in quality quite seriously by that time), and she responds with a comment about breathing some life into me, and after some continued flirting, we finally add each other to msn, before which, she sends me a penguin on my web site (we use penguins for private messages because carrier pidgeons just weren't cool enough) which read:

"Me, Eac linked me here a while ago but i never registered due to a few reasons. First, Im to damn self absorbed and second I felt slightly out of place here like I would be busting in on something I was mostly uninvited to. But in sheer boredom today i read through most of the site. After joking around with you on ninjai also I felt more of a need to say a few things to you. I know I sound kind of stalker like and I have never exactly talked to you before so I can not rightfully call myself your friend But I wanted to let you know..You have an amazing mind and though I do not agree with everything you write, what you do write, you do well and it seems, honestly. I very much respect you and think from what I have seen you are a good guy with alot of good things in your future if you take the oppertunities that present themselves to you. Now that i sound like a fortune cookie..I also wanted to give you a giant *hug* and a good /goving =D /bows -Jaxxy"

I've been head over heels in love with the girl ever since, and the more we talked online after that, the more strongly we seemed to feel for each other, and by the time she turned 18 at the end of February, and I had a ticket to fly out to MA to meet here the first weekend in March, we had been seriously discussing the possibility of marriage, had names picked out for our first child (Eris Faelan for a girl and Ares James for a boy), and were joking about who'd be the first to rip the other's clothes off over that weekend.

Then, we finally met, and she turns around and decides she's not attracted to me after all, and that we should just be friends because she didn't feel some magical uncontrollable, inexpicable chemistry for me the moment she saw me in person. It was like running towards her, arms open, eyes closed, through an open field, only to suddenly find myself slamming into a brick wall, and even after recovering from a two month bout of suicidal depression (which was pretty much a condensed version of the 4 years of suicidal depression I went through from the age of 16 to 20), I can't help but fear if she could have such a reaction after everything we shared together online (she knows more about me than anyone else who has ever known me), that I'm destined to be that guy friend girls have no real interest in dating but will gladly complain about how much of an asshole their boyfriend is to.

I'm hoping that I'm wrong and she just got scared and it's her fear of commitment trying to drive me away from her rather than her inexplicably losing any and all interest in being with me (she actually warned me the latter might happen before we met), but if so, she put on a convincing enough performance to nearly scare me to death (quite literally). But, I've put together some songs that make me think of us, and I plan to burn it to a CD, then, after attending the Gathering of the Juggalos this July in OH, drive from there to MA and spend an hour or a few (and if it goes particularly well, the night) with her, and have her listen to it while we talk and maybe dance and try to win her back before driving all the way back to Wisconsin. Not only is she the first girl to ever show any real interest in me, but she also perfectly matches the woman I've dreamed about spending my life with for nearly a decade, and I just can't accept defeat and move on that easily. When she told me she might get scared and want to run away, I told her I'd keep after her, and I intend to keep that promise. I have my doubts as to whether or not it'll work (because as I said, she was damn convincing when she said she could never love me as much as she thought she did before we met), but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try.








So yeah, long story short, don't be shy, take charge and let him know exactly how you feel and where you want your relationship with him to go. I know if I were him and you took that route, I'd be yours forever, but then, I've also got a thing for dominant women and could see myself gladly entering into a mistress/slave type of relationship, so... Though it should be noted that after the initial flirting and the message quoted above, I was the one to move the relationship beyond friends to discussing the possibility of marriage and such, but that was only because she made me feel confident that I could do so without scaring her off. I took a few chances where I was unsure how she'd respond, but without her making the first move, I would have never had the courage to do so.

You find a publisher yet for that book.

:eek: do I have to read all that?!

^ You can just read the last paragraph I guess...
You find a publisher yet for that book.
Is that suppose to be a comment on how interesting the story or how long the post is?

:eek: do I have to read all that?!

There will be a quiz in twenty minutes and it will not be open book.

^ You can just read the last paragraph I guess...

Is that suppose to be a comment on how interesting the story or how long the post is?

I was teasing about length. I was cross-eyed by the middle of the first paragraph. ;)

i told him i think he's sexy, i thought that was kind of obvious, he just didn't believe me though

As a geek, or better: engineer. In my group of friends, we have 4 'geeks' - Allthough we usually are the ones partying everywhere WHILE we make mathjokes - and from my experience: We stink at picking up signals and hints.
I'll name a few that i remember, starting with a nice one with this quote:

-I've been called sexy and some girls even compared me with a greek god in the past months, but I never thought anything like, 'hey she said that to give me a signal, ergo she likes me'. You will have to do it a lot and be even more obvious
-While we were going out, one of my friends - who has a girlfriend - didn't notice the signals his girlfriend was sending out telling him that she was dead bored and wanted to go somewhere else. He also missed the signals that she was getting angry about him not noticing. Eventually she dragged us there, and in turn we got bored and just left - she was mad and stayed behind with some other friends.
-Another friend also has a girlfriend. She basicly started playing his girlfriend and after a month, he took a small step and they became a couple.

:eek: do I have to read all that?!

Heh. Just read the last bit. :) That sums up his point pretty well.

then he's a wannabe geek..
Not necessarily. Back when I was 17 (a looooooooooong time ago) I was more of a nerd than a geek (a title I proudly claim) and I was kinda flirty back then. More fumbly, but still flirty. Now that I've grown (I won't say "grown up" ;)) and gone through a lot of life experience, I am a complete flirt and much more self confident than I was...but I'm still a geek.

I was teasing about length. I was cross-eyed by the middle of the first paragraph. ;)
Yeah, I thought so.. my legacy to the message board I was talking about in that post was the Legendary Thread of Random Ranting (http://forums.ninjai.com/showthread.php?t=5744) :D

BTW, Tink...just ask the guy to Star Wars. It's an opportunity you really can't pass up. Also, like everyone else has said, be obvious. We geeks tend to overanalyze things and that leads to indecision. Take charge a little. Make the first move. Be blunt, but not tactless.

Er, Tink. Just an idea about a possible date.

Ask him to SW:ROTS and then get him to walk you back to your house (If practical, otherwise you may have to modify this plan somewhat). On the way back drop various hints that you like him, compliments, flirts etc. Not to direct but just large hints. Then at your door, lean in for a kiss. Kiss him and hopefully he will do so back. That's possibly the best sign you can give. Mesure his reaction during the walking back to the flirting. Depending upon how posititive it is you may not want to try and kiss him. But the key is BE OBVIOUS, but not blatent. Make it clear but dont push it in his face.

I am gonna ask him to Star Wars, he should be online sometime within the next hour or so, i'm getting all nervous and fidgety

I am gonna ask him to Star Wars, he should be online sometime within the next hour or so, i'm getting all nervous and fidgety

Give him a phonecall, maybe? It's a little less sterile than MSN... :)

Give him a phonecall, maybe? It's a little less sterile than MSN... :)
no way, the only way I'm gonna be able to do this without vomiting or something is on msn

BTW, Tink...just ask the guy to Star Wars. It's an opportunity you really can't pass up. Also, like everyone else has said, be obvious. We geeks tend to overanalyze things and that leads to indecision. Take charge a little. Make the first move. Be blunt, but not tactless.

Actually I happen to think that that blunt can be scary to a geek. There's no way to play off blunt. It's better to clear and gentle. Like I said, a compliment that can't be misinterpreted but isn't saying you have to deal with this right now. The example I used earlier is to comment on the eyes. Give a distinct and specific compliment that is difficult to misinterpret. I agree though that it's important to be tactful. Tactless can also be scary (though I think that varies more by the specific person).

Oh, and by the way. Be fairly obvious without being scary. Guys don't usually get subtle, myself included (hence the thread I posted a while back which has successfully fallen into the General Abyss)...

That said, even seeing a movie with him on a friendly basis won't hurt.

Now I couldn't call myself a full-on geek per-se, probably more of a nerd :p, though I'm on here alot, I'm slightly* addicted to SimCity, talk regularly about how much I hate suburban sprawl and prefer densification. I also like trains. Never liked cars much, can't stand traffic (I also have a pet peeve for the F6 proposal which would pass not far from here). I could almost pull my hairs out (I don't because I hear it's painful) at how much better Sydney's rail network could be and how much more of the city it could cover.**

*Definitely more than slightly. I have every iteration of SimCity on this computer...

** My mates always tell me to shut up about this stuff. Is there anything wrong with me?

no way, the only way I'm gonna be able to do this without vomiting or something is on msn

How about sending him an offline message, saying something like:

"So, are you going to ask me to see Star Wars with you this weekend, or not?"

That way - you might still get him to do the asking... :)

How about sending him an offline message, saying something like:

"So, are you going to ask me to see Star Wars with you this weekend, or not?"

That way - you might still get him to do the asking... :)

I think this is too blunt. I think she would do better to allow this to be friendly at first and kind of ease it into dating. I know many of my geek friends (engineer, here) prefer not to be intimidated and also I think male geeks do want to feel like they're as much of a driver of the situation as she is. She doesn't want to come off as too forward. It's a distinct balance.

Actually I happen to think that that blunt can be scary to a geek. There's no way to play off blunt. It's better to clear and gentle. Like I said, a compliment that can't be misinterpreted but isn't saying you have to deal with this right now. The example I used earlier is to comment on the eyes. Give a distinct and specific compliment that is difficult to misinterpret. I agree though that it's important to be tactful. Tactless can also be scary (though I think that varies more by the specific person).

Personally, girls need to be blunt to me. I don't get the message otherwise. It's not scary...once the initial shock value wears off (5 minutes.) :p.

How about sending him an offline message, saying something like:

"So, are you going to ask me to see Star Wars with you this weekend, or not?"

That way - you might still get him to do the asking... :)

Good idea!

no way, the only way I'm gonna be able to do this without vomiting or something is on msn

If MSN is how you often communicate, then MSN is fine. No need to be nervous. You're already friends. Going to the movies is a completely normal act. It just so happens that this time it will just be the two of you and you plan to help this move towards something more. Nice, slow, easy. You can handle this. I'll bet you a pic that you handle this just fine and that you thoroughly enjoy the movie and the date with your friend.

Personally, girls need to be blunt to me. I don't get the message otherwise. It's not scary...once the initial shock value wears off (5 minutes.) :p.

Good idea!

Again, blunt or clear? You can be clear without making the person feel like they are cornered. Blunt = cornered. Clear = no way to misinterpret the message.

I think this is too blunt. I think she would do better to allow this to be friendly at first and kind of ease it into dating. I know many of my geek friends (engineer, here) prefer not to be intimidated and also I think male geeks do want to feel like they're as much of a driver of the situation as she is. She doesn't want to come off as too forward. It's a distinct balance.

I guess it depends on the person...with me though:

Girl: "I like you."
Me: "Aww, I like you too."
Girl: "No, I mean I really like you."
Me: "Um...So are you trying to say you like me- in that way?"
Girl: "Yes!"
Me: "Oh." *stares blankly for 10 seconds* "Cool!"

Yes, that's pretty much a direct transcript. That's what i'm like. Maybe this guy is too. *shrugs*

(That relationship lasted a whole week, though, so I hope Tink has better luck :p)

though in the UK we dont have the same kind of segregated school social structure that Americans have
I know what you mean .... Geek? Popularity? wha? There are just people, and more people, no real classification into distinct groups here either.

Again, blunt or clear? You can be clear without making the person feel like they are cornered. Blunt = cornered. Clear = no way to misinterpret the message.

To be quite honest, I don't think i'd knock a girl back if she went and bluntly asked me out. I know that takes guts.

Actually I happen to think that that blunt can be scary to a geek. There's no way to play off blunt.
True. I was personalizing the argument. I tend to like strong-willed, blunt women. Remembering back, I think someone as blunt as I am now would've probably scared the crap out of me, too. :D

How about sending him an offline message, saying something like:

"So, are you going to ask me to see Star Wars with you this weekend, or not?"

That way - you might still get him to do the asking... :)
That is *perfect*! *thumbs up*

I guess it depends on the person...with me though:

Girl: "I like you."
Me: "Aww, I like you too."
Girl: "No, I mean I really like you."
Me: "Um...So are you trying to say you like me- in that way?"
Girl: "Yes!"
Me: "Oh." *stares blankly for 10 seconds* "Cool!"

Yes, that's pretty much a direct transcript. That's what i'm like. Maybe this guy is too. *shrugs*

(That relationship lasted a whole week, though, so I hope Tink has better luck :p)

Are you still seventeen? Now, maybe, but remembering me and my friends at seventeen, there would just be a cloud of smoke shaped like one of us sitting in front of the girl.

To be quite honest, I don't think i'd knock a girl back if she went and bluntly asked me out. I know that takes guts.

There was a girl who liked me for fkin ages (and still does she say) and I knew about it. Eventually she asked me to her school ball (shes a year younger) and I shot her down. After a bit over a year, she still likes me even though we only ever talk on msn, I'm never very chatty and she's only met me in person 3 times. She's the only one I've ever turned down.

I guess I'll put my two cents in on this matter, seeing that I myself am a geek (well, as my girlfriend tells me, more of a nerd, but it's a fine line between the two).

Be nice, take it slow, and don't act stupid. Geeks hate stupid people. We don't think it's cute, we just think that your selling yourself short, so none of that. Pin-point some interests, and even talk about politics (this may, however be a bad idea if either you or him get angry quickly over such things, so be careful if you do this, but it can be interesting and will help you to learn how he thinks, and vise-versa). Take it slow, you have all the time in the world. We tend to be very shy, and you yourself said your shy so eveything will be okay with that. Don't be afraid to kiss him first. If he doesn't want to, you'll know.

Just remember, be patient, take it slow, and have a good time.

Are you still seventeen? Now, maybe, but remembering me and my friends at seventeen, there would just be a cloud of smoke shaped like one of us sitting in front of the girl.

I've just turned 19...

There was a girl who liked me for fkin ages (and still does she say) and I knew about it. Eventually she asked me to her school ball (shes a year younger) and I shot her down. After a bit over a year, she still likes me even though we only ever talk on msn, I'm never very chatty and she's only met me in person 3 times. She's the only one I've ever turned down.

The obvious question springs to mind, but I won't say it.

*cough*

Yeah I will. What does she look like? :p

The obvious question springs to mind, but I won't say it.

*cough*

Yeah I will. What does she look like? :p


Chubbyish, and although not overly pretty is not offensively ugly either. Even if she was hot, I don't think I would be able to put up with her for long anyway.

Now if all the thousands of women who want me would just read this so they'll know how to land me, that would be just perfect.

I think this is too blunt. I think she would do better to allow this to be friendly at first and kind of ease it into dating. I know many of my geek friends (engineer, here) prefer not to be intimidated and also I think male geeks do want to feel like they're as much of a driver of the situation as she is. She doesn't want to come off as too forward. It's a distinct balance.

Well, she said they already are friends, right? And - well, I don't know if this is true the world over, but.... not all geeks are insecure virgins living in their mother's basements.

Just because you are educated, and may or may not like scifi... doesn't mean you instantly curl up into a ball as soon as anyone talks to you.

Sure - the really bookish types tend to be a little more introverted, maybe a little shy... but not all geeks are THAT insecure.

I think... given just that little nudge... she has a fair chance of getting a positive response.

Even if it IS a "I'm flattered, but, unfortunately, gay".

How to get a geek: Dress up as 7of9, hold lightsaber, have a deck of MTG cards on a hip holster in other hand hold mountain dew, have a d&d-ish drawing or tatto on your cleavage. And say this phrase: "Resistance is futile, you know this to be true". Voila one bagged geek for ye. :fluffle:


O.H. And a laptop with a satelite modem with MSN constantly running really will seal the deal.

Chubbyish, and although not overly pretty is not offensively ugly either. Even if she was hot, I don't think I would be able to put up with her for long anyway.

Fair enough.

Seems to be a thing with me too; The girls that are attracted to me I don't care for personality wise...while the girls who I seem to really hit it off with aren't attracted to me. Ah well.

Now if all the thousands of women who want me would just read this so they'll know how to land me, that would be just perfect.

*grins*

If only, eh?

I am gonna ask him to Star Wars, he should be online sometime within the next hour or so, i'm getting all nervous and fidgety


Ok, its been over an hour, put us out of our misery already :P

Ok, its been over an hour, put us out of our misery already :P
he's not been online

Well, she said they already are friends, right? And - well, I don't know if this is true the world over, but.... not all geeks are insecure virgins living in their mother's basements.

Just because you are educated, and may or may not like scifi... doesn't mean you instantly curl up into a ball as soon as anyone talks to you.

Sure - the really bookish types tend to be a little more introverted, maybe a little shy... but not all geeks are THAT insecure.

I think... given just that little nudge... she has a fair chance of getting a positive response.

Even if it IS a "I'm flattered, but, unfortunately, gay".

I think the difference is between being clear and coming off as aggressive. I don't think it's insecure to feel like an approach is too aggressive. Many of my female friends don't like agressive guys, and from my point of view I don't like agressive women. I prefer women who are secure, confident and clear. I'm sure the difference is clear.

In Tink's case, she's nervous and she's admitted to being shy. A sudden change in her demeanor, i.e. asking him out, may come off as an agressive pursuance of aforementioned geek.

he's not been online

Why dont you phone him. Thats a little more human than MSN. That way you can mesure his receptiveness better.

i told him i think he's sexy, i thought that was kind of obvious, he just didn't believe me though

Speaking from experience: Ask him over for dinner and a DVD, or dinner and games. Dinner and whatever really. Then both of you have a couple drinks because it will A) make you less nervous and shy and B) make him less nervous and shy. If you can't make him *believe* you think he's sexy with him at your place and a couple drinks in the both of you then I hate to say it but I doubt anything will ever happen for you. Bravery has its risks yes, but how long will you be kicking yourself if you don't make a move and he gets away? Good luck.

I am of course assuming you live alone and that both of you are drinking age...

Well, she said they already are friends, right? And - well, I don't know if this is true the world over, but.... not all geeks are insecure virgins living in their mother's basements.
I'm an insecure virgin living in my mother's basement, and I honestly would like nothing more than a girl who was attracted to me to be blunt and upfront about it. I'm pretty much introverted to the point of being buried within myself, and I need a girl who isn't afraid to jump right in and yank me out...

That is assuming I can't get the girl who had me convinced that we'd spend the rest of our lives together before suddenly deciding we should just be friends instead back...

Speak Yoda to them

I am of course assuming you live alone and that both of you are drinking age...
That's what you get for not reading the thread before responding, otherwise you'd know that neither are true...

Speaking from experience: Ask him over for dinner and a DVD, or dinner and games. Dinner and whatever really. Then both of you have a couple drinks because it will A) make you less nervous and shy and B) make him less nervous and shy. If you can't make him *believe* you think he's sexy with him at your place and a couple drinks in the both of you then I hate to say it but I doubt anything will ever happen for you. Bravery has its risks yes, but how long will you be kicking yourself if you don't make a move and he gets away? Good luck.

I am of course assuming you live alone and that both of you are drinking age...
They're both 17.

CALL THE MODS! CONTRIBUTING TO THE DELINQUENCY OF A MINOR!

:p

Why dont you phone him. Thats a little more human than MSN. That way you can mesure his receptiveness better.
waaaaaaaaaaay too scared

ok, I gotta go. Good luck Tink, hope it all works out for you :)

ok, I gotta go. Good luck Tink, hope it all works out for you :)
thanks

If he is a True Geek then hints any more subtle than, say, hitting him in the head with a brick will probably go unnoticed.
Also, be patient. When I was 17 I knew a girl who did pretty much all the unsubtle hints that have already been suggested to me and it still took me a few days to figure out what she meant.

So what you can get from this thread is, um, well... Geez, were we helpful at all. Just like everything else, I think you'll find that all geeks are distinct.

I think what you've brought across to us is that he needs for you to make it clear what your intentions are. If you make the gap between each of your shy mentalities a little bit smaller maybe you can get him to make the leap. I

think you need to tailor your handling of this to you and what you're comfortable with, but at the same time press forward a bit more than you would normally to sort of prod this along.

Keep in mind that he may think that he has clearly expressed to you his interest as well. He may be off right now asking someone else how to make it more clear to you that he's interested. In the end one of you is going to have to get up some gumption and make a move.

I'm an insecure virgin living in my mother's basement, and I honestly would like nothing more than a girl who was attracted to me to be blunt and upfront about it. I'm pretty much introverted to the point of being buried within myself, and I need a girl who isn't afraid to jump right in and yank me out...

That is assuming I can't get the girl who had me convinced that we'd spend the rest of our lives together before suddenly deciding we should just be friends instead back...

To be honest... I think most guys would be okay with a girl giving a genuine, earnest invite to get together for an evening... or whatever.

Geeks or not... shy or not... I think people like the idea of others being attracted to them, and like the idea of someone WANTING to spend some time together.

actually some people have been helpful, i have a plan now, and for once in my life something is going to work out! either that or i'll just sink further into depression

i can't, i'm too shy
That's probably what he's thinking.

PS, Troon is right IMO.

Grab his crotch when you say that. The sudden rush of blood from his brain to other parts of his body will bring about a temporary bout of sanity, and he'll realize you mean it.
lol, classic!

well, i have considered asking him if he wants to go see Star Wars just the 2 of us cause our other friends are going with another group of people who he doesn't particularly wanna hang out with, but i dunno
Perferct chance! ask aks axe!!!

it isn't that easy!
For god's sake you're not asking him to a romantic dinner on top of the Eiffel tower. ASk!

the only problem with that is neither of us ever get popcorn lol
'Tis a stupid strick anyway. Just grab his hand. :D

"Oh, my, I never noticed before but you have beautiful eyes."
*vomit*

*sigh* sometimes I wish I was bi so I would have twice the chance of finding someone
It's not like that, because when you are straight, roughly 95% of girls are technically availible to you. That is 47.5% of people. When you're bi you have that 95% of girls and 5, maybe 10% of guys (say 5% of people). So your market has increased to 52.5%. It's an improvement, but nowhere near a double chance.

I must be a geek.

actually some people have been helpful, i have a plan now, and for once in my life something is going to work out! either that or i'll just sink further into depression

I was kidding. I could see how our suggestions could be a bit confusing, but I suspect you'll take something from every suggestion and make it your own. And, from the guy's perspective, there is nothing more attractive than a girl who is comfortable being herself and being true to herself.

waaaaaaaaaaay too scared

Tink, life is like a swimming pool. You've just got to jump in to get through.

actually some people have been helpful, i have a plan now, and for once in my life something is going to work out! either that or i'll just sink further into depression
Heh, I feel the same way about my plan to drive to MA to try and win my girl back with the help of the Beatles, the Doors, Janis Joplin, Tom Petty...

Tink, life is like a swimming pool. You've just got to jump in to get through.
I know but i'll feel a lot more comfortable asking him over msn, plus his dad might answer the phone and he's Australian and it always makes me laugh, i don't wanna ring up and not be able to say anything cause i'm too busy laughing at his dad!

Then, we finally met, and she turns around and decides she's not attracted to me after all
This is a common problem with online relationships. Each person builds up an inflated image of the other that is impossible to live up to. Of course she was disappointed. She disappointed herself.

:eek: do I have to read all that?!
It's interesting, but you don't have to read it.

Tink, life is like a swimming pool. You've just got to jump in to get through.
Surely proof that I am God.

This is a common problem with online relationships. Each person builds up an inflated image of the other that is impossible to live up to. Of course she was disappointed. She disappointed herself.
The thing is, she decided this the very instant she first saw me, I didn't even have a chance to live up to any kind of image she had of me, inflated or otherwise. Which is why I'm prone to believe it's her fear of commitment talking more than anything.

Surely proof that I am God.

Does that mean that God vomited at my very nice comment?

waaaaaaaaaaay too scaredWow, that sounds like m- er, someone I know who simply can't talk to people on the telephone. Email, IM, in person, fine...but not the telephone. I think it's called "telephobia"

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

actually some people have been helpful, i have a plan now, and for once in my life something is going to work out! either that or i'll just sink further into depression

Chicky, the boy shouldn't be a test of your worthiness to yourself. If for whatever reason he's dumb and it doesn't work out then - hey you tried and you learned that you can go for it - don't take the success for failure as a measure of your goodness as a person. If you are depressed you should get help with that seperately. Setting someone up as a test of yourself worth is not good. Take it from someone who used to do similar things when i was your age....


AND YES, ask him out - be blunt about liking him - Do it BECAUSE you like HIM, not because you need to make sure YOU are worthy of being liked.
You are.

I know but i'll feel a lot more comfortable asking him over msn, plus his dad might answer the phone and he's Australian and it always makes me laugh, i don't wanna ring up and not be able to say anything cause i'm too busy laughing at his dad!

Oi! :mad:


:p

Chicky, the boy shouldn't be a test of your worthiness to yourself. If for whatever reason he's dumb and it doesn't work out then - hey you tried and you learned that you can go for it - don't take the success for failure as a measure of your goodness as a person. If you are depressed you should get help with that seperately. Setting someone up as a test of yourself worth is not good. Take it from someone who used to do similar things when i was your age....


AND YES, ask him out - be blunt about liking him - Do it BECAUSE you like HIM, not because you need to make sure YOU are worthy of being liked.
You are.i didn't mean it like that. I just meant that it'd be nice for something to go right for me for once cause nothing ever does! i was being a little overdramatic say i was depressed, just been a little down lately

Oi! :mad:


:p
i can't help it! he always answers the phone with 'G'day mate' it just makes me laugh lol

i can't help it! he always answers the phone with 'G'day mate' it just makes me laugh lol

haha I bet Kanabia does that too.

i can't help it! he always answers the phone with 'G'day mate' it just makes me laugh lol

Strewth. Sounds like the fella is a bit of a yob, ay?

Hehehehe.

Strewth. Sounds like the fella is a bit of a yob, ay?

Hehehehe.
lol

haha I bet Kanabia does that too.

I usually let it ring. If it's important enough to justify me getting out of bed or something, they'll leave a message, right? :D

i didn't mean it like that. I just meant that it'd be nice for something to go right for me for once cause nothing ever does! i was being a little overdramatic say i was depressed, just been a little down lately

Well whatever his reaction is going to be I suggest you buck up and do something "obvious" like try to hold his hand or ask him out.
If he is receptive - great.
If he's not (and there for dumb) then at least you know that in the future you won't be afraid to show your feelings when another person comes along.

:) good luck doll

I know but i'll feel a lot more comfortable asking him over msn, plus his dad might answer the phone and he's Australian and it always makes me laugh, i don't wanna ring up and not be able to say anything cause i'm too busy laughing at his dad!

I guess that's only natural. After all, us Aussies find the pom accent quite mind boggling and strange. I don't mind it, but it's odd. Same goes for the New Zealanders. "Fush and Chups, anybody?" :p

Strewth. Sounds like the fella is a bit of a yob, ay?

Hehehehe.

I do believe we spell it "Struth", mate. :)

well i asked him to the cinema as friends and he appears to be ignoring me

I do believe we spell it "Struth", mate. :)

Prove it. :p

And I don't find British accents strange, I like them :p

well i asked him to the cinema as friends and he appears to be ignoring me

If you are having problems talking to the boy... why not ask one of your NS pals to call him and ask him, for you?

(Preferably one of the UK based ones, I'd assume).

*sigh* that plan didn't work, he just thought i was trying to convince him to come with all my other friends to see it tomorrow, arg!

well i asked him to the cinema as friends and he appears to be ignoring me

Aww, poor TInky... :( I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose.

Heh. I came here to be upset at you for ignoring my advice, and now I'm trying to comfort you instead.

*hugs you*

Just give him time.

since when do all geeks have to be Trekkies?!

I am sure there is a rule somewhere.

*sigh* that plan didn't work, he just thought i was trying to convince him to come with all my other friends to see it tomorrow, arg!

Actually... That could be your perfect opportunity. Just tell him that you'd prefer to just go with him, just the two of you. That's already dropping a fairly big hint and giving him something to think about, without you actually being too openly obvious. It could be an excellent opportunity to get through to him in fact.

That's what you get for not reading the thread before responding, otherwise you'd know that neither are true...

I did read most of the thread before I posted, I missed the one that said "We're both 17." My mistake; I still wish her the best of luck.

And the last bit of the advice still stands. Don't be kicking yourself later for not being brave enough to just ask him.

*sigh* that plan didn't work, he just thought i was trying to convince him to come with all my other friends to see it tomorrow, arg!

well then set him straight.

I am sure there is a rule somewhere.

What I want to know is whether being a Trekkie automatically makes me a geek. :p I don't go around collecting Trek memorabilia or going to Trek conventions, y'know, I just watch the episodes and write Trek stories with fellow fans. :D

Actually... That could be your perfect opportunity. Just tell him that you'd prefer to just go with him, just the two of you. That's already dropping a fairly big hint and giving him something to think about, without you actually being too openly obvious. It could be an excellent opportunity to get through to him in fact.

exactly

well then set him straight.
i'm too scared

I guess that means your lying in your sig Tink?

which bit?

i'm too scared
Please follow Free Soviets' advice so that I might live vicariously through this experience (having squandered my own adolescence so miserably). If you don't do it, you might miss a rather wonderful opportunity.

i'm too scared

Well you really need to start somewhere, and I honestly think you've just been given a perfect opportunity. You won't actually be telling him you're interested in him, but, as I said, you'll be dropping a big hint and giving him something to think about. What you need to try and do is put him in a situation where he feels reasonably confident that you'll say yes if he asks you, and this could be a very important first step.

Just work up your courage and do it. You need to; you might not get another golden opportunity like this. Think of all it might bring you if it works. And know that we'll all be wishing you luck. :)

some basic life advice:
Each time, where you have to take a decision, there´s usually at least 3 options:
- do option A
- do option B (i.e. don´t do option A)
- wait (i.e. do not take option A)

I guess I read that somewhere, but don´t ask me for a source: Waiting and not doing nothing, is always the worst option. Whomever you ask to look back at some difficult point in his life, and about the decision he took, you will not find someone saying "the best thing I could have done was simply wait and look at the issue for a year" You rather almost always will hear:
- "I´m happy that I took that decision that way!"
or
- "If I regret one thing, it´s that I waited so darn long to do it"

cheers
Matt

PS.: TInk, I sent you TG, too.

i'm too scared

don't be scared. you can still pass it off as 'just friends' if it's too intimidating - wasn't there some reason you mentioned earlier for not going with the rest of your friends? just go with that. and if there wasn't, make up some reason why you can't go with them. then say that you still want to go, and were wondering if he'd like to go with you, because going to the movies alone sucks.

You "get" a geek the same way you "get" anyone else. What do you do if you're interested in anyone else? I mean, if you're interested in them in a more subtle way that just wearing something revealing and flirting with a sledgehammer. I'm not saying you do that, but many attractive women are far too cloyingly obvious because the men they usually go after are those who need pictorial instructions.

So if you're serious about it, and not going after a geek because it's "in" or you've got chronic computer problems, you need to treat him like anyone else in whom you're seriously interested. Make a point to hang around him. Look at him when he talks to you and listen to his words. If you're still interested, then you won't need to "do" anything. You may need to be the one to suggest a date, as geeks tend to be oblivious because they've given up on sincere feminine attention years ago.

In short, treat him like a person as opposed to a sterotype, and be patient.

Hope that helps.

NdL

which bit?

The bit that says Clearly

'I LOVE MOLEY MAN'

Please follow Free Soviets' advice so that I might live vicariously through this experience (having squandered my own adolescence so miserably). If you don't do it, you might miss a rather wonderful opportunity.
I can't

The bit that says Clearly

'I LOVE MOLEY MAN'
that's still true!

I can't

Yes, you can. Indeed, for your own sake, and for those of us here who wish you well, you must.

*nudge*

that's still true!

Really?

I can't

*points to my post above*

I can't

sure you can - if shy boys like me can work up the nerve, anyone can. but seriously, just have some reason why you can't go to the show when your other friends are going. he'll go with you. trust me.

I can't

You must have heard that old saying about how nobody lies on their deathbed just wishing they'd spent more time in the office...

Better to try it, and maybe get shot down... than to not try it and be kicking yourself about it ever after.

*points to my post above*
*Points to Ariddia's post above the quoted post as well.*

The main thing I've learned so far in my life is: DON'T WAIT. Don't let this opportunity slip by you.

We're all cheerin' for you here, too, so if it doesn't work out (which I suspect is one of your concerns) don't forget there's support for the aftermath.

Go on. Don't be afraid. It's when we step out that things truly happen.

Well I met my Fiance at a D&D game. She was dating one of the other players. (yes, I am a bad guy)

honestly, i just can't do it, i don't think he likes me in that way, it's prob best we just stay friends :(

Small devil on the left shoulder: Do it!
Small angel on the right shoulder: What he said!

honestly, i just can't do it, i don't think he likes me in that way, it's prob best we just stay friends :(

maybe, maybe not. he'll still go to the movies with you. just ask, then go, and see where it goes from there.

don't psych yourself out about it. as of right now, its just star wars. you can move further later on, once you are comfortable asking him to do something alone with you.

maybe, maybe not. he'll still go to the movies with you. just ask, then go, and see where it goes from there.
but i can't

I know it seems very difficult, but please try.

honestly, i just can't do it, i don't think he likes me in that way, it's prob best we just stay friends :(

Ok... if someone was holding a gun to your head, would you do it?

honestly, i just can't do it, i don't think he likes me in that way, it's prob best we just stay friends :(

If you tell him you'd like to go to the cinema, just the two of you, you're not committing yourself to anything: you're just giving him a chance to do something if he wants. If he does, then great! If he doesn't, then you've lost nothing, you haven't even embarassed yourself, and what's more you'll just need to give him more time.

And let me put it in another way. When I look back at my teen years, I see the times when I tried and failed, and I see the times when girls dropped such blatantly obvious hints, and instead of going for it I analysed those hints to death until I persuaded myself that maybe they weren't hints after all but something else. All those times when I tried and failed don't bother me at all. But all those times when I didn't try - those are the ones that still haunt and torment me, and that I'm still kicking myself about years later. That was roughly about the time when I was your age. Believe me, if you give it a try, nothing bad will come from it in the long term. But if you don't even try, I can promise you you'll still be hating yourself for it many years from now.

but i can't

you totally can. don't worry about anything - no one can turn down star wars. this is like one of the perfect events to use as an 'ice breaker date'. works the same way titanic did for me and one of the girls i dated.

Ok... if someone was holding a gun to your head, would you do it?
well yes but there isn't

but i can't
But you can! The first time of asking nearly killed me; the second was still awful, but much easier... each time you do it, it shatters walls within your head, and the next time is less difficult. Think of it as an investment for the future, if nothing else! Go on... :)