NationStates Jolt Archive

LP you think ya can let me down now? ;) my arms hurt

*cuts rope. Choq crashes to the ground*

*cuts rope. Choq crashes to the ground*
*rubs bum* why thank you


*looks around* :fluffle:
*scampers off laughing*

*chops the chandelier rope with a peasant's teeth*
Here you go Choq

*Mac stands up*

Vocals!!

*In another corner, two peasant children start singing*

"I'm a little tea-pot, short and stout....."

You can't let a man have an over-the-top entrance? What's up with that? Get me a beer!

You can't let a man have an over-the-top entrance? What's up with that? Get me a beer!

*Cough*Ponce*Cough*

*Hands a WooWoo*

That's more your style from the looks of it.

*Swigs beer*

*turns up, vomiting profusely into a bucket whilst trying to simultaneously write a timed biology essay*

Afternoon.

*turns up, vomiting profusely into a bucket whilst trying to simultaneously write a timed biology essay*

Afternoon.
You missed a dot.

*vomits over biology essay*

there

Here you go Choq
lol didnt see that one sry LP


*molests you for good measure* if you tell anyone ill kill you, do you hear me! *grabs you bum* ;)

lol didnt see that one sry LP


*molests you for good measure* if you tell anyone ill kill you, do you hear me! *grabs you bum* ;)
Is that a promise?

Is that a promise?

could be *gives special smile to LP*

I goddamn hate sickness.

*tries to slay several peasants. Weakened state only allows the slaying of three with one swipe*

And I hate timed essays.

*tries to write a good essay in 45 minutes and fails*

Where are all the ladies/goddesses/warrior maidens today?

could be *gives special smile to LP*
okay.....


*writes in beg letters all over the castlewalls "Choq grabbed my ass" *

I goddamn hate sickness.

*tries to slay several peasants. Weakened state only allows the slaying of three with one swipe*

And I hate timed essays.

*tries to write a good essay in 45 minutes and fails*
*hands him bottle of green glowy magic liquid* drink this and the fairy will do it all for you

Where are all the ladies/goddesses/warrior maidens today?
The warrior maiden Peechland is moving her office and the goddess....well.....Goddess is out to lunch

The warrior maiden Peechland is moving her office and the goddess....well.....Goddess is out to lunch
Who is she lunching on?

*hands him bottle of green glowy magic liquid* drink this and the fairy will do it all for you
Dude, I am not drinking fairy liquid.

okay.....


*writes in beg letters all over the castlewalls "Choq grabbed my ass" *
*pets him* that part is ok

The warrior maiden Peechland is moving her office and the goddess....well.....Goddess is out to lunch

What's the point of a flamboyant entrance if Goddess isn't here to reward me?

*slumps to the ground depressed. Drinks woowoo (whatever that is)*

Dude, I am not drinking fairy liquid.
its only absinthe *takes drink* see its all good *starts talking with the blue alien with pink and yellow mohawk in the corner*

LP arent you getting paid to tell people something

What's the point of a flamboyant entrance if Goddess isn't here to reward me?

*slumps to the ground depressed. Drinks woowoo (whatever that is)*
I can reward you.........

*takes a three-header off of the rafters... off Choqulya's head, then Legless Pirates head, then Jocabia's head.*

its only absinthe *takes drink* see its all good *starts talking with the blue alien with pink and yellow mohawk in the corner*

LP arent you getting paid to tell people something
Payed? By who? ;)

I can reward you.........
*sighs*
*gives abck the pink dress* i supposed you'll be needing this

Payed? By who? ;)
good question *dollar appears in LP's hand*

its only absinthe *takes drink* see its all good *starts talking with the blue alien with pink and yellow mohawk in the corner*

LP arent you getting paid to tell people something
I would drink it, but considering I haven't been able to eat food since sunday, I'd say I might be a little more affected by alcohol than usual. Especially hallucinogenic alcohol.

OOC: Gotta go. See y'all tomorrow. Possibly.

I would drink it, but considering I haven't been able to eat food since sunday, I'd say I might be a little more affected by alcohol than usual. Especially hallucinogenic alcohol.

hold on ralph. that's his name. food doesnt matter a few shot o' this and you'll be right as rain...*goes back to talking to ralph the alien*

ooc:cya

*sighs*
*gives abck the pink dress* i supposed you'll be needing this
Mew :(
[it's sad when I'm the only pussycat here...]

Mew :(
[it's sad when I'm the only pussycat here...]
*dresses up Nekone in pink*

Now you're a proper pussy

*looks at nekone* you shur ar purty

*looks at nekone* you shur ar purty :eek:
Mer....
[Gotta catch me first]

*starts running but is severly hampered by dress*
Phffftt :mad:
[F$*king clothes]

:eek:
Mer....
[Gotta catch me first]

*starts running but is severly hampered by dress*
Phffftt :mad:
[F$*king clothes]
What? You want to be naked?

*shaves Nekone*

What? You want to be naked?

*shaves Nekone*
thank you LP you made catching the kitty much easier *evil laugh*

*squrims out of LP's arms... runs around room and stops at mirror...*
:D
Merrrrrr
[so that's what a shaved pussycat looks like...]

*squrims out of LP's arms... runs around room and stops at mirror...*
:D
Merrrrrr
[so that's what a shaved pussycat looks like...]
*picks up Nekone*

*squrims out of LP's arms... runs around room and stops at mirror...*
:D
Merrrrrr
[so that's what a shaved pussycat looks like...]
But I'll have to shave you more regulary now, cause else you'll go stubbly and you can't rub up to people when you're stubbly

But I'll have to shave you more regulary now, cause else you'll go stubbly and you can't rub up to people when you're stubbly
Meh :(
[prefere my soft fur tho.... allows me to snuggle up to others]

Meh :(
[prefere my soft fur tho.... allows me to snuggle up to others]
Well it's too late now.

Well it's too late now.*looks at cat hair all over the place...*

meow :D
[Must admit... this would've been one mighty impressive shedding...]

So why'd i miss? Who's here that I can kiss?
*looks around*

So why'd i miss? Who's here that I can kiss?
*looks around*
*pokes her*

So why'd i miss? Who's here that I can kiss?
*looks around*Mew :D
[one shaved cat here... pucker up.]

So why'd i miss? Who's here that I can kiss?
*looks around*
so where's my lunch

*pokes her*

*she rushes to Choq, jumps on him and delivers a sensuous kiss, with a little tongue teasing*
Hello there, my little vampire lover.

*she rushes to Choq, jumps on him and delivers a sensuous kiss, with a little tongue teasing*
Hello there, my little vampire lover.

hey gorgeous *kisses playfully* good lunch?
*happens to mention you should click on the second link in siggy*

Mew :D
[one shaved cat here... pucker up.]

*she picks up Nekone and licks his shaved head, then kisses it*
My little pussy cat. I'm gonna miss the fur...

hey gorgeous *kisses playfully* good lunch?
you're lunch is right here *eyes provocatively*

*wraps her arms about his waist and bites hard on his shoulder*
Yup. I should know it's always a long lunch with the boss...

You missed my entrance. *looks sad*

You missed my entrance. *looks sad*

Where he sang "I'm a little teapot", then drank a Woo-Woo.

you're lunch is right here *eyes provocatively*

*wraps her arms about his waist and bites hard on his shoulder*
Yup. I should know it's always a long lunch with the boss...


ohhh is it a sammich? *eats lunch then kisses tcg*

Where he sang "I'm a little teapot", then drank a Woo-Woo.
in a pink dress

You missed my entrance. *looks sad*
*nudge*
do it again

You missed my entrance. *looks sad*

No i didn't
*runs to check the posts*

in a pink dress

rofl

rofl
where do you think i found it?

Murphy, Murphy darling dear
I long for you now night and day
Your pain was my pleasure, your sorrow my joy
I feel now I've lost you to health and good cheer
Darcy, when I met you I was five years too young
A boy beyond his age, or so I'd tell someone.
Anyone who'd listen and a few who couldn't care
Still I welcomed you with open arms, my love I did share

Darcy, Darcy darling dear,
You left me dying , crying there
In whiskey , gin, and pints of beer
I fell for you my darling dear

You shut me off then you showed me the door
But you always came crawling back beggin me for more
I showed you kindness, a stool, and a tab
Then you poured me my pain in a dirty glass
(Yeah, you left him bloody battered penniless and poor)
You know, I often stopped and wondered how you made it
through my door
With my brother's new non-duplicate registry ID
Well you bit off more than you could chew the first day you
met me.

Darcy, Darcy darling dear,
You left me dying , crying there
In whiskey , gin, and pints of beer
I fell for you my darling dear


You weren't the first to court me mister you won't be the last
Oh, sure I wasn't honey, I know all about your past
Listen to the big shot with his pager on call
You spent most of those nights in my bathroom stall
(Yeah, you got him high, but you left him low)
Mind your own business, boy, how was I to know
That he was just a fiend and a no-good cheat
Well it's all in the past bitch 'cause now I've got it beat

Darcy, Darcy darling dear,
You left me dying , crying there
In whiskey , gin, and pints of beer
I fell for you my darling dear

My mind is a maze or perhaps just amazing.

*blinks*
*looks*
*blinks*
*burst out laughing*
*she jumps on you and frenchkisses you quite thoroughly*
Whatever you say.. still yummy.

OOC: I haven't properly entered

*Jocabia enters through the far door. He is wearing naught but a pelt wrapped around his waist. His body is painted blue and red in an apparently random pattern*

High hats

*A darkened corner slowly illuminates just enough for a peasant seated behind some high hats to become visible. He begins tapping gently on them*

*fans self*
is that what i think it is?

Bass

*In another corner a giant peasant with a standup bass become visible. He begins to pull at the strings*

*fans self more quickly*

Stomp!!

*In another corner (this is getting to be a lot of corners) a group of female peasants appears. They begin stomping a rhythm*

*gulps*
*more fanning*
*feet tapping*

Uh oh. We're in a musical.....again

Horns

*in the fourth corner of the room three female peasants appear topless with large horns and join in with the music*

*she drops to her knees in amazement*
*drools*

*sings drunkenly*
I play in a band
We're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
'Cause I'm more than a handful you'll see

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I can bench press a car
I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both harvard and yale
Girls just can't keep up
I'm a really love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I designed the Sears tower
I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter
Girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
In the trousers she kissed me
And I only bought her one round





I'm the man of the night
A real ladies delight
See, my figure was chiseled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I own a house on the hill with a red water bed
It puts Hugh Hefner's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the gain

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
In the trousers she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shittin'?

I'm a pitiful sight
And I ain't all that bright
I'm definitly not chiseled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar
No woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone

But just give me a chance
Cause deep down inside
I swear I got a big heart of gold
I'm a monogamous man
No more one night stands
So come on honey let me take you home

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
In the trousers she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
In the trousers she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

*sings drunkenly*
<snip>
Do you do requests? Can you do Rocky Road to Dublin?

*whirls around and begins slaying the peasants* Now that's an entrance!

*peasants drop their instruments and attempt to flee Jocabia runs them down and filets them*

*screams, claps her hands, jumps, all at the same time, then swoons*

Uh oh. We're in a musical.....again

Hey, I didn't get to see it the first time, so there!

Ooooh. It's a comedy

Hey, I didn't get to see it the first time, so there!
*flips Goddess the bird...... sneakily*

*sings drunkenly*
[snip]

That is disturbingly funny...

Do you do requests? Can you do Rocky Road to Dublin?sure

*flips Goddess the bird...... sneakily*

*she bites the bird and draws blood*
*winks*
*licks*

In the merry month of June from my home I started
left the girls of Taum nearly brokenhearted saluted me father dear,
kissed me darling mother drank a pint of beer,
my grief and tears to smother then off to reap the corn,
leave where I was born cut a stout blackthorn to banish ghosts and goblin,
brand-new pair of brogues,
rattling o'er the bogs frightening all the dogs on the rocky road to Dublin.
In Mullingar last night, I rested limbs so weary started by daylight next morning bright
and early took a drop of the pure to keep me heart from sinking
that's the daddy's cure when he's on the drinking see the lassies smile,
laughing all the while at me darling style, would set your heart a-bubblin' asked me was I hired,
wages I required 'til I was almost tired of the rocky road to Dublin.

Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!
In Dublin next arrived, I thought it such a pity to be so soon deprived a view of that fine city
decided to take a stroll all among the quality bundle,
it was stole in that neat locality something crossed my mind when I looked behind
no bundle could I find upon me stick a-wobblin' crying for a rogue said me
connaught brogue wasn't much in-vogue on the rocky road to Dublin.
From there I got away, me spirits never failing landed on the quay just as the ship was sailing captain at me roared,
said that no room had he then I jumped aboard a cabin found for Daddy down among the pigs,
played some funny rigs, danced some hearty jigs,
the water 'round me bubblin' off to hollyhead wished myself was dead
or better far instead on the rocky road to Dublin.
The boys in Liverpool, when we safely landed called myself a fool,
I could no longer stand it blood began to boil,
temper I was losing poor old Erin's Isle they began abusing hooray me soul,
says I, let the shellaillagh fly some galway boys were nigh,
saw I was a-hobblin' with a loud array,
they joined me in the fray and soon we cleared the way on the rocky road to Dublin.
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!

Is this a sing-a-long again?

Do i have to rummage through my lyrics?
How about you guys record all this and send it to me? I'll promise to do the same in return.

Is this a sing-a-long again?

Do i have to rummage through my lyrics?
How about you guys record all this and send it to me? I'll promise to do the same in return.
*isnt nearly drunk enough to think he can sing*

*Joins in with drunken singing*

By yon bonnie banks,
And by yon bonnie braes,
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond,
Where me and my true love
Were ever want to gae,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

Oh! ye'll take the high road and
I'll take the low road,
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye;
But me and my true love
Will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

'Twas then that we parted
In yon shady glen,
On the steep, steep side of Ben Lomond,
Where in purple hue
The Highland hills we view,
And the moon coming out in the gloaming.

Oh! ye'll take the high road and
I'll take the low road,
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye;
But me and my true love
Will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

The wee birdie sang
And the wild flowers spring,
And in sunshine the waters are sleeping,
But the broken heart it kens
Nae second Spring again,
Tho' the waeful may cease frae their greeting.

Oh! ye'll take the high road and
I'll take the low road,
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye;
But me and my true love
Will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

*isnt nearly drunk enough to think he can sing*

try it anyway, you sweet talker, you!

*she bites the bird and draws blood*
*winks*
*licks*
ouch........

<.<
>.>


*flips her another bird*

try it anyway, you sweet talker, you!

hehe *lick* i ono what am i getting out of it?

ooc: you get finished story?

ouch........

<.<
>.>


*flips her another bird*

o_o
*bites the other bird and draws blood*
Have another finger to flip at me?

*Cold due to lack of fur. crawls down TCG's dress and snuggles up in a very warm place.* :D

what drunken revelry could be cmopelte with out this one?

Have you ever stopped to think about what rats do for run?
Sure they crawl around and scurry,
yeah they're always on the run but a rat sure likes a good time
just like you and me
I'll prove it with a tale about a rat-infested brewery
It started with a little lad named vermin McCann
who fell upon a drink that made him feel like quite a man
he rounded up his furry boys,
though some wore a frown
they quickly changed their tune and they slammed a couple down.

One, two, one-two-three-four!
Come on all you good rats
we'll send you to heaven you'll find the pearly gates in the froth and the foam
'cause in these vats you've made quite a creation
a potion that turned the Guinness to gold!
Like mice behind a piper,
rats from all around soon headed for this factory in old Dublin Town.
They surely heard the news about this fancy new rat-brew they come,
they saw, they had a taste and knocked back a few
The rats were in a tizzy
addicted to the bone the hairy lugs were giddy
they were never going home
like a bunch of drunken pirates prepared to walk the plank they drank,
they sang, they took a plunge and in the beer they sank!

One, two, one-two-three-four!
Come on all you good rats
we'll send you to heaven you'll find the pearly gates in the froth and the foam
'cause in these vats you've made quite a creation
a potion that turned the Guinness to gold!

hehe *lick* i ono what am i getting out of it?

ooc: you get finished story?

My eternal admiration.

ooc: yes. *fans self* ebil man, very ebil man



Joc? are you still here?

My eternal admiration.

ooc: yes. *fans self* ebil man, very ebil man



Joc? are you still here?
can't be that ebil it's sooo good *stories her*

*Cold due to lack of fur. crawls down TCG's dress and snuggles up in a very warm place.* :D

Sorry to disappoint, but i don't wear a dress, or a skirt, or pants or shirt. just a whip and ankle bracelets. *she pus Nekone across her shoulders, under her hair*
How's that?

o_o
*bites the other bird and draws blood*
Have another finger to flip at me?
*sucks his fingers*

Well some people call this a bird too....
*drops pants*

Sorry to disappoint, but i don't wear a dress, or a skirt, or pants or shirt. just a whip and ankle bracelets. *she pus Nekone across her shoulders, unedr her hair*
How's that?ooc: Now that's an Image that makes me wish I was human... MMEEEEEOOOOOWWW! :D

ic:Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

*sucks his fingers*

Well some people call this a bird too....
*drops pants*
*pets LP's pet bird*

*pets LP's pet bird*
Oh look. It wants to fly

*sucks his fingers*

Well some people call this a bird too....
*drops pants*

You really want me to draw blood on that? *eyes fluttering* or just the basic wash and buff?

its so pahretty

*Leaves room*

*Re-enters carrying 12-gauge pump-action shotgun*

*Starts shooting at birds outside the window*

You really want me to draw blood on that? *eyes fluttering* or just the basic wash and buff?
Well it might get jealous of the other birds

*yawns, curls up on tcg's pillows*

*Leaves room*

*Re-enters carrying 12-gauge pump-action shotgun*

*Starts shooting at birds outside the window*
*hides his hands behind his back and looks nervous*

*wonders if his sig comes off too gay* LP can you help me out with a problem here?

*grabs tcg licks her on the pillows*

Well it might get jealous of the other birds

*shrugs*
you asked for it...
*she takes the third bird into her mouth and bites gently, licking and swirling it*



ooc: i feel like Sylvester the cat

*wonders if his sig comes off too gay* LP can you help me out with a problem here?

*grabs tcg licks her on the pillows*
I can't read sigs.

*shrugs*
you asked for it...
*she takes the third bird into her mouth and bites gently, licking and swirling it*



ooc: i feel like Sylvester the cat
I thawt I thaw a putty

that posts made my hands shake. very unusual for the usually unflappable occidio. wooooww.
Victory is mine! or something
You'd still be an annoying little prick, but now you're pretending to be british-LP (i loves him )
Occy's cult following
total membership:4
position: founder
we cursed his name while locking our doors and squirming in our chairs -tcg

*blinks*
*looks*
*blinks*
*burst out laughing*
*she jumps on you and frenchkisses you quite thoroughly*
Whatever you say.. still yummy.

*returns kiss and grins*

*shrugs*
you asked for it...
*she takes the third bird into her mouth and bites gently, licking and swirling it*



ooc: i feel like Sylvester the catOOC:does that make me "junior?"

*screams, claps her hands, jumps, all at the same time, then swoons*

*catches her. exactly the desired effect*

that posts made my hands shake. very unusual for the usually unflappable occidio. wooooww.
Victory is mine! or something
You'd still be an annoying little prick, but now you're pretending to be british-LP (i loves him )
Occy's cult following
total membership:4
position: founder
we cursed his name while locking our doors and squirming in our chairs -tcg
Yes it's gay.

*changes sig*

Yes it's gay.

Nice and subtle LP.

Subtle like a sledgehammer. On the front of an Australian road train.

Nice and subtle LP.

Subtle like a sledgehammer. On the front of an Australian road train.

he is the subtle one in the group

Nice and subtle LP.

Subtle like a sledgehammer. On the front of an Australian road train.
Subtle like an elephant taking a crap in your cup of tea....


... And I was just bullshitting Choq :p
Why should I care about sigs when I can't see them anyway

Subtle like an elephant taking a crap in your cup of tea....


... And I was just bullshitting Choq :p
Why should I care about sigs when I can't see them anyway

im trying to hit on you :-p and you wont even look *cries*
*runs back to tcg* LP hates me

Poor, all my life I've always been poor
I ask why, gee, I'm not sure
I ask god just what I'm for
Sweep that floor kid oh
I started life as an orphan child on the street
*starts to dance. Looks around. Everyone is staring. Drops head grabs a beer and slinks off in the corner*

I thought we were in a musical.

*hooks thread up to life support*

im trying to hit on you :-p and you wont even look *cries*
*runs back to tcg* LP hates me*Nuzzles Choqulya in sypathy.*

*Nuzzles Choqulya in sypathy.*
*pets nekone*

ooc: woo woo is vodka, cranberry juice and something else I think...

Choq, your link's screwed: http://http//forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416900 - should be http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416900

ic:

*Strides in* Am I hearing songs from the Irish and Scottish and no English folk?

Twas Friday morn when we set sail
And we were not far from the land
When the captain, he spied a lovely mermaid
With a comb and a glass in her hand

O the ocean's waves will roll
And the stormy winds will blow
While we poor sailors go skipping to the top
And the landlubbers lie down below (below, below)
And the landlubbers lie down below

And up spoke the captain of our gallant ship
And a well-spoken man was he
I have me a wife in Salem by the sea
And tonight she a widow will be

And up spoke the cookie of our gallant ship
And a red hot cookie was he
Saying I care much more for my pots and my pans
Than I do for the bottom of the sea

Then up spoke the cabinboy, of our gallant ship
And a nasty little lad was he.
I'm not quite sure I can spell "mermaid"
But I'm going to the bottom of the sea.

Then three times around went our gallant ship
And three times around went she
Three times around went our gallant ship
And she sank to the bottom of the sea

*hooks thread up to life support*

"Charging to 200"

*Electronic whine increases in pitch*

"Clear"

*THUMPH*

*Long steady-pitched beeping noise*

"Charging to 200"

*Electronic whine increases in pitch*

"Clear"

*THUMPH*

*Long steady-pitched beeping noise*
ooooowwwwwww *hops around room hold arm* you didn't say clear loud enough *continues hopping*

OOC:does that make me "junior?"
*she turns her clear green gaze on you*
Of course, Jr.

*Applauds Randomea*

*Sings*

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

Wait, wait, singing and dancing doesn't keep the thread alive? Dammit. Why didn't anyone tell me?

*drops pelt wrapped around his waist*

Does this help liven things up?

OOC: We're running out of room in this thread!

ty rand


*she turns her clear green gaze on you*
Of course, Jr.
oh sure now everyone has green eyes :fluffle:

*she turns her clear green gaze on you*
Of course, Jr.
*wipes spit from his eye*

*she turns her clear green gaze on you*
Of course, Jr.
Mew... :D
[well... the last thing I'll ever do then is stick a brown paper bag over my head in Shame.]
*Nuzzles TCG's chin.*

*catches her. exactly the desired effect*

*opens her eyes, short of breath*
you are such a super star!

oh sure now everyone has green eyes :fluffle:
*raises hand*

*opens her eyes, short of breath*
you are such a super star!

*grins and kisses her deeply* You didn't think it was a little gay? I was hoping the pelt around the waist was sufficiently manly.

*opens her eyes, short of breath*
you are such a super star!
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0783225431.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

ty rand



oh sure now everyone has green eyes :fluffle:

Blue, baby, deep blue.

OOC: We're running out of room in this thread!

*looks around* who wants the new one?

"waste of space"

ooc: woo woo is vodka, cranberry juice and something else I think...

Choq, your link's screwed: http://http//forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416900 - should be http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416900




Did you get my message on the love thread? i can't access your profile stupid jolt and i need your address to send the newsletter.

Did you get my message on the love thread? i can't access your profile stupid jolt and i need your address to send the newsletter.

love thread? TCG was there and I wasn't *pouts*

Brown...but I was told they were a lovely almond shape. Guess another thing to thank my oriental heritage for.
Got a tan to match now ;)

*gather's Nekon's fur together and makes him a warrior's cat cloak*

The castle falls, quickly go here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416932)

all the cool kids are over in the new one :p

sweet jesus! :eek:

kazoo 8??? shite...i missed a lot. pfft

sweet jesus! :eek:

kazoo 8??? shite...i missed a lot. pfft
*stories her* better? ... oh yes *licks* your a sweetheart *gives you lots of thanks *

*stories her* better? ... oh yes *licks* your a sweetheart *gives you lots of thanks *


i dont like missing whole days of kazooing -it sucks.


*runs to read story*

ha im last :-p

ha im last :-p

Cut it out, clown.

Cut it out, clown.
damn you

damn you

Why do you have to be last?

Why do you have to be last?
Why do you?

Why do you?

Good point. Sorry.

Why do you?

Ditto.

Ditto.
I don't, the last post thing is just a by-product of a necessary probing of Joc's mind. It is also why I am going to throw this rock at you.

*throws rock. Misses*

Bugger. Ah well, have a beer.

*lobs a beer at mac, which promptly smacks mac in the nuts*

*Folds over*

Ow, jeez dude, learn to throw. I mean, for fuc-

*Rocks pummel Mac and Tribes*

*Folds over*

Ow, jeez dude, learn to throw. I mean, for fuc-

*Rocks pummel Mac and Tribes*
OW! When did I swea-

*reads previous post*

Oh yeah. Shi-*rest of sentence is lost under sound of stones pummeling tribes*

*Rolls on the floor in a mixture of laughter and pain*

Dude, that's gonna leave a bruise when you regain conciousness. Shit man, that's bad. Oh cra-

*Is run over by a herd of stampeding buffalo*

*Rolls on the floor in a mixture of laughter and pain*

Dude, that's gonna leave a bruise when you regain conciousness. Shit man, that's bad. Oh cra-

*Is run over by a herd of stampeding buffalo*
Dude, the buffalo are back!

*gets out automatic rifle, slaughters buffalo for fur and meat, promptly wiping out the entire herd*

There. Stupid fuc- *lava flow descends upon tribes*

Dude, watch out for that lava, that's some hot freaky shi-

*Is pummelled into the ground by thousands of small birds*

Dude, watch out for that lava, that's some hot freaky shi-

*Is pummelled into the ground by thousands of small birds*
*a hand reaches out of the lava, holding a burning sign which reads: "Watch out for the birds!" before descending back into the lava a lá T2: Judgement day*

*a hand reaches out of the lava, holding a burning sign which reads: "Watch out for the birds!" before descending back into the lava a lá T2: Judgement day*

Yeah, and my mind needs probing.

Yeah, and my mind needs probing.
*charred hand reaches out of lava again with more difficulty as lava is beginning to solidify*

*does some amazingly complex hand gesture to convey his thoughts*

*considering a better route, tribes pushes himself out of the lava*

Phew, are my pores open! Anyway, umm, what was I saying...

...oh yeah. Eh?

*Mac stands up, spitting out feathers, and coughing up a stunned looking blue-tit.*

Er, yeah, he lost me there too.

*Mac stands up, spitting out feathers, and coughing up a stunned looking blue-tit.*

Er, yeah, he lost me there too.

Does mental illness run in your families?

Does mental illness run in your families?
No. I'm an original lunatic.

*runs into a wall, screaming "HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK! HIT ME! HIT ME!", then has a small scuffle with a rabid lampshade. And loses*

No. I'm an original lunatic.

*runs into a wall, screaming "HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK! HIT ME! HIT ME!", then has a small scuffle with a rabid lampshade. And loses*

I am going to be last. I'm very patient.

I am going to be last. I'm very patient.
Never!

*rides a battle-cheescake at Joc*

Never!

*rides a battle-cheescake at Joc*

*grabs a spork, eats cheescake* How do you like dem apples? *shows a picture of apples written on a napkin*

*grabs a spork, eats cheescake* How do you like dem apples? *shows a picture of apples written on a napkin*
We should really be posting in the 8th thread thingy.

*slaps Joc with a wet jogger*

We should really be posting in the 8th thread thingy.

*slaps Joc with a wet jogger*

*places hand on the welt left by the jogger* I can't believe you just did that. *grabs the legs of a really skinny peasant and starts to rub them together really fast. They start on fire and he throws them at TTOL followed by a pear, a pint of ale and a bowl of pretzels.*


OOC: I know I'm sad that none of the girls will see it. It's funny

*places hand on the welt left by the jogger* I can't believe you just did that. *grabs the legs of a really skinny peasant and starts to rub them together really fast. They start on fire and he throws them at TTOL followed by a pear, a pint of ale and a bowl of pretzels.*


OOC: I know I'm sad that none of the girls will see it. It's funny
*eats pear, drinks ale, snorts pretzels and breathes fire*

Funny? I'm serious, fool! Prepare to meet thy 3-piece-leather-suite-in-a-nice-shade-of-green-based-DOOM!

*attacks with a lovely leatherette sofa from DFS*

*eats pear, drinks ale, snorts pretzels and breathes fire*

Funny? I'm serious, fool! Prepare to meet thy 3-piece-leather-suite-in-a-nice-shade-of-green-based-DOOM!

*attacks with a lovely leatherette sofa from DFS*

*turns up the heat* We all know leather doesn't breathe. Prepare to drown in your own sweat. Good luck getting that thing off. *it gets really hot*

*sits back comfortable in wool slacks that breathe*

*turns up the heat* We all know leather doesn't breath. Prepare to drown in your own sweat. Good luck getting that thing off. *it gets really hot*

*sits back comfortable in wool slacks that breath*
*leather sticks to tribes*

Arrgh! Nggh! Jzcyksk! Lamentable pasttimes! Biscuits!

*collapses*

*watches as joc's breathing woolen garment comes to life and throttles joc*

*leather sticks to tribes*

Arrgh! Nggh! Jzcyksk! Lamentable pasttimes! Biscuits!

*collapses*

*watches as joc's breathing woolen garment comes to life and throttles joc*

Ack! Stupid, stupid, stupid. I thought zombie was the brand name. *strangely collapses, struggling with the pants even though they only weigh a few ounces.*

Ack! Stupid, stupid, stupid. I thought zombie was the brand name. *strangely collapses, struggling with the pants even though they only weigh a few ounces.*
I'll help you out of those pants!

Oh wait, you aren't peech or CG. Unlucky.

*watches Joc struggle with zombie pants*

*gets a bag of zombie pop corn to watch the event*

*finally wrestles away from the pants revealing zipper marks all over his body* They bit me! They bit me! I think I'm in danger of becoming zombie pants. No wonder those pants were so cheap. They reproduce. NOOOOOO!!! If I'm going to be pants I want to be assless chaps. *Shakes fists at the sky* Assless chaps I tell you. *collapses in a whimpering heap*

*The wrestling makes the room even hotter and TTOL's clothes shrink*

*finally wrestles away from the pants revealing zipper marks all over his body* They bit me! They bit me! I think I'm in danger of becoming zombie pants. No wonder those pants were so cheap. They reproduce. NOOOOOO!!! If I'm going to be pants I want to be assless chaps. *Shakes fists at the sky* Assless chaps I tell you. *collapses in a whimpering heap*

*The wrestling makes the room even hotter and TTOL's clothes shrink*
*fighting against the shrinking leather sofa-clothes*

Dude, you can't wear assless chaps. It would put images in my head that I don't want there. You'd be pushing out peechy-images. And this cannot happen.

*throttles Joc with an acrobatic sausage dog*

HEY!!!!
maybe look for Rebels #8
*sigh*

HEY!!!!
maybe look for Rebels #8
*sigh*
*licks CG*

We're going for a last post in a blaze of glory. You post in #8, I might follow...

*fighting against the shrinking leather sofa-clothes*

Dude, you can't wear assless chaps. It would put images in my head that I don't want there. You'd be pushing out peechy-images. And this cannot happen.

*throttles Joc with an acrobatic sausage dog*


LOL.....Joc....why are you wearing my assless chaps!!! *covers Tribes eyes*

dont look darling! Think Peech!

LOL.....Joc....why are you wearing my assless chaps!!! *covers Tribes eyes*

dont look darling! Think Peech!
*thinks peech*

There's no girl like Peech...there's no girl like Peech...

*clicks heels of red shoes*

OOC: OK, so I couldn't make 'hot sexeh lady' fit, so I put girl. Sue me.

*fighting against the shrinking leather sofa-clothes*

Dude, you can't wear assless chaps. It would put images in my head that I don't want there. You'd be pushing out peechy-images. And this cannot happen.

*throttles Joc with an acrobatic sausage dog*

*reaches for ASD but it just does giants (see GYMNASTICS) on his finger goes for his throat again.* Friggin' ASDs. Always throttling me. *suddenly ketchup and mustard appear in his hands and he puts it all over the ASD*

ASD: I'm melting! I'm melting!

TTOL and Joc (together): Holy crap! It's a talking acrobatic sausage dogs.

*reaches for ASD but it just does giants (see GYMNASTICS) on his finger goes for his throat again.* Friggin' ASDs. Always throttling me. *suddenly ketchup and mustard appear in his hands and he puts it all over the ASD*

ASD: I'm melting! I'm melting!

TTOL and Joc (together): Holy crap! It's a talking acrobatic sausage dogs.
Correction - a talking acrobatic sausage dog with an allergy to ketchup and mustard. WHat are the chances?

Correction - a talking acrobatic sausage dog with an allergy to ketchup and mustard. WHat are the chances?

*Now free of the zombie pants and the TASDWAATKAM, Jocabia runs to grab a chair to defend himself from future onslaughts* Longton, now you must face the MPODDAD!! What are the MPODDAD, you ask? *Points behind TTOL* They are! Meet the Merry Peasants Of Drinking, Dancing And Doom!!!

*Several dozen peasants appear, singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall and dancing a jig*

*Now free of the zombie pants and the TASDWAATKAM, Jocabia runs to grab a chair to defend himself from future onslaughts* Longton, now you must face the MPODDAD!! What are the MPODDAD, you ask? *Points behind TTOL* They are! Meet the Merry Peasants Of Drinking, Dancing And Doom!!!

*Several dozen peasants appear, singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall and dancing a jig*
You have obviously never seen me when a bar fight happens.

*grabs a bottle, smashes it on the bar*

*grabs a chair, smashes it on a MPODDAD*

*a small, lopsided fight ensues*

*tribes stands abve a pile of battered, bloodied and bevvied up peasants*

And now, to unleash my secret weapon - the RAAHOTPWAITBGW-TTWRP!!!!!!

(Really Annoyed Angry Housewives Of The Peasants Who Are In The Bar Getting Wasted - This Time With Rolling Pins!)

You have obviously never seen me when a bar fight happens.

*grabs a bottle, smashes it on the bar*

*grabs a chair, smashes it on a MPODDAD*

*a small, lopsided fight ensues*

*tribes stands abve a pile of battered, bloodied and bevvied up peasants*

And now, to unleash my secret weapon - the RAAHOTPWAITBGW-TTWRP!!!!!!

(Really Annoyed Angry Housewives Of The Peasants Who Are In The Bar Getting Wasted - This Time With Rolling Pins!)

*they run straight for Jocabia.*

Wait, Ladies... *they stop* Longton *points at TTOL* gave them free beer. How could your poor husbands resist free beer? *the RAAHOTPWAITBGW-TTWRP turn toward TTOL*

*they run straight for Jocabia.*

Wait, Ladies... *they stop* Longton *points at TTOL* gave them free beer. How could your poor husbands resist free beer? *the RAAHOTPWAITBGW-TTWRP turn toward TTOL*
*RAAHOTWAITBGW-TTWRP charge at tribes*

I'll pay you to attack Joc!

*women turn back*

Or...you could trade your earnings for the contents of this 'Mystery Box'! What do you think?

*RAAHOTWAITBGW-TTWRP choose mytery box, charge back at joc*

*RAAHOTWAITBGW-TTWRP charge at tribes*

I'll pay you to attack Joc!

*women turn back*

Or...you could trade your earnings for the contents of this 'Mystery Box'! What do you think?

*RAAHOTWAITBGW-TTWRP choose mytery box, charge back at joc*

*calmly leans against the bar sipping a Sam Adams as the women close in.

*He suddenly wearing jeans, a nicely tailored DKNY maroon shirt and a cowboy hat*

Ladies... *tips hat and smiles.*

*One of his teeth actually sparkles*

*the women suddenly stop, take of their panties and throw them at him while screaming JOCABIA*

*calmly leans against the bar sipping a Sam Adams as the women close in.

*He suddenly wearing jeans, a nicely tailored DKNY maroon shirt and a cowboy hat*

Ladies... *tips hat and smiles.*

*One of his teeth actually sparkles*

*the women suddenly stop, take of their panties and throw them at him while screaming JOCABIA*
*of course, all those women are stereotypical '70s style British housewives. Therefore, their panties are actually bloomers, and Joc suffocates under a pile of giant underwear*

*tribes looks at the pile of bloomers covering joc, supping a Newcastle Brown ale*

All part of the plan, buddy.

*of course, all those women are stereotypical '70s style British housewives. Therefore, their panties are actually bloomers, and Joc suffocates under a pile of giant underwear*

*tribes looks at the pile of bloomers covering joc, supping a Newcastle Brown ale*

All part of the plan, buddy.
OOC: I was actually hoping you would pull something like that. This is precisely why I stopped where I did.

IC:

*Just before the first pair reaches him he dons his UAGPOPBA (Under a Giant Pile Of Panties Breathing Apparatus)*

*Under the giant pile of panties that incidentally smelled of many nice perfumes, Jocabia hatched a devious plan*

*He reached inside of his nicely tailored DKNY maroon shirt and pulled out bottle of pheremones which everyone knows does not work except in a castle on the internet*

*Jocabia throws the bottle at TTOL and it explodes on his chest*

*Since the women no longer have panties they mob TTOL and start tearing at his clothes which since they are leather don't tear. TTOL is nearly battered to unconsciousness in the first moments of mobbing*

OOC: I was actually hoping you would pull something like that. This is precisely why I stopped where I did.

IC:

*Just before the first pair reaches him he dons his UAGPOPBA (Under a Giant Pile Of Panties Breathing Apparatus)*

*Under the giant pile of panties that incidentally smelled of many nice perfumes, Jocabia hatched a devious plan*

*He reached inside of his nicely tailored DKNY maroon shirt and pulled out bottle of pheremones which everyone knows does not work except in a castle on the internet*

*Jocabia throws the bottle at TTOL and it explodes on his chest*

*Since the women no longer have panties they mob TTOL and start tearing at his clothes which since they are leather don't tear. TTOL is nearly battered to unconsciousness in the first moments of mobbing*
You bastard...

*tribes is mobbed by knickerless housewives*

*however, tribes had a counter-plan in case of emergency - a bottle of HDWPS (Hallucinogenic Dirty Work Pants Solution) at high concentration. Taking off his pants (for reasons you shall see), tribes drops the bottle as he is mobbed, releasing chemicals found in all work pants - salt from sweat, male body odour, grease, food etc. These trigger chemoreceptors in the nasal passages of the housewives, receptors which only housewives posess. Driven crazy by this substance, the housewives lunge for the nearest pair of pants - 3 feet from tribes. Some also sense joc's pants and rip at them, scratching all bits under the pants*

You bastard...

*tribes is mobbed by knickerless housewives*

*however, tribes had a counter-plan in case of emergency - a bottle of HDWPS (Hallucinogenic Dirty Work Pants Solution) at high concentration. Taking off his pants (for reasons you shall see), tribes drops the bottle as he is mobbed, releasing chemicals found in all work pants - salt from sweat, male body odour, grease, food etc. These trigger chemoreceptors in the nasal passages of the housewives, receptors which only housewives posess. Driven crazy by this substance, the housewives lunge for the nearest pair of pants - 3 feet from tribes. Some also sense joc's pants and rip at them, scratching all bits under the pants*

ARGH!!! Damn the HDWPS!!! Damn the HDWPS to hell!!!

*retreats to the fetal position under the giant pile of panties* Oh, where is TCG to kiss my sensitive bits and make them better?!?

*through the pain and mobbing he tries to think of a counter attack*

*Jocabia farts, causing the women to cover their faces and move away, giving him temporary repreive*

Must... think... fast...

*Jocabia tries playing dead, yet the women still don't go near TTOL, further proving that women won't sleep with TTOl even if he were the last man in the Kazoo*

*quickly Jocabia begins tying all of the panties together to make a giant lasso. Jocabia whistles and a couple of border collies appear and start herding the women into a circle and Jocabia strikes with the lasso landing around the entire group. He ties an anvil to the other end of the panty lasso and throws it out the window dragging the women, weakened by the fart, out the window after the anvil*

And thusly, you are foiled. It was always part of my plan!!! Bwah, ha, ha!

ARGH!!! Damn the HDWPS!!! Damn the HDWPS to hell!!!

*retreats to the fetal position under the giant pile of panties* Oh, where is TCG to kiss my sensitive bits and make them better?!?

*through the pain and mobbing he tries to think of a counter attack*

*Jocabia farts, causing the women to cover their faces and move away, giving him temporary repreive*

Must... think... fast...

*Jocabia tries playing dead, yet the women still don't go near TTOL, further proving that women won't sleep with TTOl even if he were the last man in the Kazoo*
Well, that is tru-... hey! :mad:

*quickly Jocabia begins tying all of the panties together to make a giant lasso. Jocabia whistles and a couple of border collies appear and start herding the women into a circle and Jocabia strikes with the lasso landing around the entire group. He ties an anvil to the other end of the panty lasso and throws it out the window dragging the women, weakened by the fart, out the window after the anvil*

And thusly, you are foiled. It was always part of my plan!!! Bwah, ha, ha!
Curses! I will avenge...myself!!!

*throws down a gas ball, disappears*

*stalks Joc in the long grass*

*Joc squats down on his haunches and thinks out loud* what the hell are haunches?

*He concentrates on healing quickly before the next attack*

*He looks up. Smiles and says, as much to himself as anyone else* Just 115 more posts to survive before this universe closes itself forever. Certainly, with a nemesis like Tribes, it is more than possible. *chuckles*

*Peers around looking for possible ways to defend himself from future attacks, seems to notice something and smiles*

I am ready.

*Joc squats down on his haunches and thinks out loud* what the hell are haunches?The hillbilly version of a rock hyrax. ¬_¬

*He concentrates on healing quickly before the next attack*

*He looks up. Smiles and says, as much to himself as anyone else* Just 115 more posts to survive before this universe closes itself forever. Certainly, with a nemesis like Tribes, it is more than possible. *chuckles*

*Peers around looking for possible ways to defend himself from future attacks, seems to notice something and smiles*

I am ready.
*sneaks up on joc, aims the elephant gun at Joc's nether regions from behind a swathe of bullrushes, completely unseen by Joc*

The hillbilly version of a rock hyrax. ¬_¬


*sneaks up on joc, aims the elephant gun at Joc's nether regions from behind a swathe of bullrushes, completely unseen by Joc*

Why do I suddenly smell salt from sweat, male body odour, grease, food etc.? It's really strong and really foul and it seems to be coming from behind.... *Jumps behind a pillar just as the gun goes of leaving a large gunpowder mark where Joc was just standing*

Phew! (that's right I say Phew) That was a close one.

*reaches inside his now tattered jeans Jocabia finds a anti-elephant-gun gun. He raises it and points it at the Tribes and squeezes the trigger*

*Suddenly the elephant gun turns into a giant rabbit that was owned by giant peasant children who overfed it but never washed it. TTOL is holding it like a puppet (if you know what I mean) and the GRTWOBGPCWOIBNWI appears to be very upset about this fact.*

My trap is unfolding just as expected. Your move, Captain Happy Pants!!

Why do I suddenly smell salt from sweat, male body odour, grease, food etc.? It's really strong and really foul and it seems to be coming from behind.... *Jumps behind a pillar just as the gun goes of leaving a large gunpowder mark where Joc was just standing*

Phew! (that's right I say Phew) That was a close one.

*reaches inside his now tattered jeans Jocabia finds a anti-elephant-gun gun. He raises it and points it at the Tribes and squeezes the trigger*

*Suddenly the elephant gun turns into a giant rabbit that was owned by giant peasant children who overfed it but never washed it. TTOL is holding it like a puppet (if you know what I mean) and the GRTWOBGPCWOIBNWI appears to be very upset about this fact.*

My trap is unfolding just as expected. Your move, Captain Happy Pants!!
*punches Joc in the face with the rabbit-hand, while the rabbit gnaws at Joc's nose*

OOC: Get Carter is on. Yay!

*punches Joc in the face with the rabbit-hand, while the rabbit gnaws at Joc's nose*

OOC: Get Carter is on. Yay!

YESSSS *sounds funny because part of his nose is missing*

I filled by dose wid horbodes that cause rabbid feces do becobe acid (I filled my nose with hormones that cause rabbit feces to become acid (HTCRFTBA)) *he chuckles*

I cad awready see id begidding to work

YESSSS *sounds funny because part of his nose is missing*

I filled by dose wid horbodes that cause rabbid feces do becobe acid (I filled my nose with hormones that cause rabbit feces to become acid (HTCRFTBA)) *he chuckles*

I cad awready see id begidding to work
*looks at rabbit-arm as it dissolves*

Oh, bugger. Call it quits?

Here have a beer.

*throws Joc a beer, smacking him in the nuts so hard that it possibly removed one nut from its fleshy holster :eek: :eek: *

*hops through thread a la Monty Python bunny-monster style*

*looks at rabbit-arm as it dissolves*

Oh, bugger. Call it quits?

Here have a beer.

*throws Joc a beer, smacking him in the nuts so hard that it possibly removed one nut from its fleshy holster :eek: :eek: *

Dab, by duds. *Quickly replaces the testicle in its proper location and pinches the sack together grabbing a needle and sewing it together* You're going to pay for that... In a minute... *leans against a tree, drinking the beer*

*hops through thread a la Monty Python bunny-monster style*
It's only a fucking bunny.

*goes after Gael*

*gets his throat torn out*

Aaaaaand on that note, I'm off.

*empties beer. Cracks open another one*

*empties beer. Cracks open another one*

*she walks in softly*

If you're looking for the others, they are at #8... *grin*

*empties beer. Cracks open another one*
*walks out of a darkened corner, staggering slightly*

<slurred speech>IIiii'vve bbeeeeen w- wwaaaaaaaa- waaiting for you....yeah...youuuuu *points at all three Jocabias*

Aaaaaand, annd...sshhh shh sh ssh....shh....aaand, I''veee been waiiting, with um...with..um..*forgets*

*remembers* ...ah yess! This (http://www.freddym.org/Pictures/vm8/empty_beer.jpg) crate of beeeeeeeeeeeeeer....oh waait, wwhhhere'd allll the beeeer go? Heerre, beeeery beeeery beery!

*staggers off into the fields*

*walks out of a darkened corner, staggering slightly*

<slurred speech>IIiii'vve bbeeeeen w- wwaaaaaaaa- waaiting for you....yeah...youuuuu *points at all three Jocabias*

Aaaaaand, annd...sshhh shh sh ssh....shh....aaand, I''veee been waiiting, with um...with..um..*forgets*

*remembers* ...ah yess! This (http://www.freddym.org/Pictures/vm8/empty_beer.jpg) crate of beeeeeeeeeeeeeer....oh waait, wwhhhere'd allll the beeeer go? Heerre, beeeery beeeery beery!

*staggers off into the fields*

*falls over backwards unto ther pillows and laughs uncontrollably*

*touches everyone*
if any of you tell.... ill kill you!

*falls over backwards unto ther pillows and laughs uncontrollably*
*staggers back through, now wearing a party hat and carrying a peasant*

Hheheeerrre...b...bb....um, wh-who was I lllooooooking for??

*falls over, giggling, then falls asleep*

*touches everyone*
if any of you tell.... ill kill you!
*has flashbacks*

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

*falls over backwards unto ther pillows and laughs uncontrollably*

The fued with Tribes ends today...

*Unsheathes his prize giant ferret*

My ferret is attracted to marinated meat. I have let Tribes drink all night and soak in his own juices. Now VENGEANCE will be mine. Off with you Giant Ferret!!! Bwah, ha, ha!

*The ferret charges at TTOL*

*feels like he's stalking tribes*

The fued with Tribes ends today...

*Unsheathes his prize giant ferret*

My ferret is attracted to marinated meat. I have let Tribes drink all night and soak in his own juices. Now VENGEANCE will be mine. Off with you Giant Ferret!!! Bwah, ha, ha!

*The ferret charges at TTOL*
*looks up*

Aaah, a liittttle ferreettty thingggummy....argh, let go of my throat!

*proceeds to wrestle for twenty drunken minutes with a rather irate ferret*

I know, I can kill it!

*whaps out an acrobatic sausage dog*

*bludgeons the ferret with it*

*gets bludgeoned by animal rights activists*

Bugge-

*gets hit by some rocks*

See, now your fu- *gets swarmed by locusts*

See, now your fu- *gets swarmed by locusts*
AAH! LOCUSTS!!

*puts a paper bag over his head*

AAH! PAPER BAGS!!

*runs away*

roflmmfao

See, now your fu- *gets swarmed by locusts*

*before he can correct himself gets run over by the grammar police. After the police truck drives off Jocabia is laying there with a sign that says "You're = You are"*

*The grammar police truck crashes into a tree after the locusts splatter all over their windshield until they can't see*

*a bunch of fat, pale idiots who take grammar way too seriously get out and start screaming at the sight of the sun and then burst into flames killing off the last of the locusts*

*Jocabia stands*

Well, that was improbable.

*Jocabia picks up one of the flaming grammar nazis by the feet and hurls them towards TTOL*

*before he can correct himself gets run over by the grammar police. After the police truck drives off Jocabia is laying there with a sign that says "You're = You are"*

*The grammar police truck crashes into a tree after the locusts splatter all over their windshield until they can't see*

*a bunch of fat, pale idiots who take grammar way too seriously get out and start screaming at the sight of the sun and then burst into flames killing off the last of the locusts*

*Jocabia stands*

Well, that was improbable.

*Jocabia picks up one of the flaming grammar nazis by the feet and hurls them towards TTOL*
*tribes thinks fast. Realising the grammar nazi's weakness for correction of poor spelling, grammar, ennunciation and syntax, he quickly forms this sentence:*

Oh sod your gonna do me in arnt u? I r fekked, teh shiz!

*the flaming grammar nazi quickly changes his trajectory, landing on his feet right in front of tribes. He looks into tribes eyes and says:*

What did you say?

*tribes replies, rrrolling all the "r"s:*

Good morrow, sir. Perchance you heard a certain sentence, pronounced in a generally poor and shambolic manner. Forsooth, for this was issued from the parted lips of Jocabia, a man so vile as to set a bloodlust ferret on a poor drunken fellow. Away with you, Grammar Nazi, to your work!!!

*the flaming grammar nazi turns and heads for Joc. However, the flames burn through his mind before the Nazi reaches Joc, causing him to collapse in a burning hulk of flaming flesh*

Oh, shi-*gets pummeled by rock-like locust grammar nazis*

*tribes thinks fast. Realising the grammar nazi's weakness for correction of poor spelling, grammar, ennunciation and syntax, he quickly forms this sentence:*

Oh sod your gonna do me in arnt u? I r fekked, teh shiz!

*the flaming grammar nazi quickly changes his trajectory, landing on his feet right in front of tribes. He looks into tribes eyes and says:*

What did you say?

*tribes replies, rrrolling all the "r"s:*

Good morrow, sir. Perchance you heard a certain sentence, pronounced in a generally poor and shambolic manner. Forsooth, for this was issued from the parted lips of Jocabia, a man so vile as to set a bloodlust ferret on a poor drunken fellow. Away with you, Grammar Nazi, to your work!!!

*the flaming grammar nazi turns and heads for Joc. However, the flames burn through his mind before the Nazi reaches Joc, causing him to collapse in a burning hulk of flaming flesh*

Oh, shi-*gets pummeled by rock-like locust grammar nazis*

*rotflmao... holding sides... wipes tear*

*tribes thinks fast. Realising the grammar nazi's weakness for correction of poor spelling, grammar, ennunciation and syntax, he quickly forms this sentence:*

Oh sod your gonna do me in arnt u? I r fekked, teh shiz!

*the flaming grammar nazi quickly changes his trajectory, landing on his feet right in front of tribes. He looks into tribes eyes and says:*

What did you say?

*tribes replies, rrrolling all the "r"s:*

Good morrow, sir. Perchance you heard a certain sentence, pronounced in a generally poor and shambolic manner. Forsooth, for this was issued from the parted lips of Jocabia, a man so vile as to set a bloodlust ferret on a poor drunken fellow. Away with you, Grammar Nazi, to your work!!!

*the flaming grammar nazi turns and heads for Joc. However, the flames burn through his mind before the Nazi reaches Joc, causing him to collapse in a burning hulk of flaming flesh*

Oh, shi-*gets pummeled by rock-like locust grammar nazis*

*Starts laughing. Begins choking on own tongue* Damn you, tongue *he thinks*

*gets pelted by peasant eyes*

*Starts laughing. Begins choking on own tongue* Damn you, tongue *he thinks*

*gets pelted by peasant eyes*
*watches joc being pelted by peasants eyes*

Why do I have a strange urge to get Thai take-away right now?

*watches joc being pelted by peasants eyes*

Why do I have a strange urge to get Thai take-away right now?

*one of the eyes hits Jocabia in the cheek dislodging his tongue. Jocabia gasps for air accidentally swallowing several peasant eyes which as everyone knows has all the nutrients a growing boy needs*

I... feel... myself... growing...


ARGH!!! Infinite cosmic power at my fingertips

*his voices booms. TTOL covers his ears. Jocabia begins smashing mountains and filling in lakes*

I am invincible!!!

*Which everyone knows is the last thing someone says before getting vinced*

*one of the eyes hits Jocabia in the cheek dislodging his tongue. Jocabia gasps for air accidentally swallowing several peasant eyes which as everyone knows has all the nutrients a growing boy needs*

I... feel... myself... growing...


ARGH!!! Infinite cosmic power at my fingertips

*his voices booms. TTOL covers his ears. Jocabia begins smashing mountains and filling in lakes*

I am invincible!!!
*unfortunately for joc, the growth ripped him out of his clothes. Whilst leaving areas open for 'complements' i.e. "Jesus, that finger is HUGE!", it also leaves his feet entirely bare. Running to the hardware store, tribes buys the singularly largest thumb tack ever made - a full 15ft long, and sharp as a scalpel. Pushing the tack under Joc's big toe, tribes watches as Joc walks on the tack. Then proceeds to run around in circles shouting "Owwy owwy owwy!" like a big crybaby. WAA! WAA! YOU LIKE THAT DO YA!! [/family guy reference]*

*one of the eyes hits Jocabia in the cheek dislodging his tongue. Jocabia gasps for air accidentally swallowing several peasant eyes which as everyone knows has all the nutrients a growing boy needs*

I... feel... myself... growing...


ARGH!!! Infinite cosmic power at my fingertips

*his voices booms. TTOL covers his ears. Jocabia begins smashing mountains and filling in lakes*

I am invincible!!!

*Which everyone knows is the last thing someone says before getting vinced*
*goes tothe court house ,legally changes Joc's name to vince*
take that! vince

*unfortunately for joc, the growth ripped him out of his clothes. Whilst leaving areas open for 'complements' i.e. "Jesus, that finger is HUGE!", it also leaves his feet entirely bare. Running to the hardware store, tribes buys the singularly largest thumb tack ever made - a full 15ft long, and sharp as a scalpel. Pushing the tack under Joc's big toe, tribes watches as Joc walks on the tack. Then proceeds to run around in circles shouting "Owwy owwy owwy!" like a big crybaby. WAA! WAA! YOU LIKE THAT DO YA!! [/family guy reference]*

*Having found the antidote to peasant eyes (family guy references), TTOL causes Jocabia to deflate like a big balloon only the excess volume chooses to leave Jocabia through the most unpleasant of places. Jocabia falls to the ground normal-sized, naked and exhausted. The air around Jocabia and TTOL is foul and putrid. Fortunately for Jocabia, he has the he who dealt it immunity.*

*Having found the antidote to peasant eyes (family guy references), TTOL causes Jocabia to deflate like a big balloon only the excess volume chooses to leave Jocabia through the most unpleasant of places. Jocabia falls to the ground normal-sized, naked and exhausted. The air around Jocabia and TTOL is foul and putrid. Fortunately for Jocabia, he has the he who dealt it immunity.*
*puts on WWII gas mask*

*watches with interest*

*noxious gases produced begin to dissolve the rubber gas mask*

Oh shi-*suffocates*

*corpse gets pummeled with rocks*

*resurrection phial [/fable] breaks, resurrecting tribes*

*Notices TCG staring at him, amused. Realizes he is naked and looks down*

I was in the pool!! I was in the pool!! [/Seinfeld reference]

*Runs behind a bush to cover himself*

*Notices TCG staring at him, amused. Realizes he is naked and looks down*

I was in the pool!! I was in the pool!! [/Seinfeld reference]

*Runs behind a bush to cover himself*
*burns Joc's bush*

Ooh, that's gotta hurt!

*Notices TCG staring at him, amused. Realizes he is naked and looks down*

I was in the pool!! I was in the pool!! [/Seinfeld reference]

*Runs behind a bush to cover himself*

*nasty giggle escapes her lips*

*eats a Goddess bar*

*burns Joc's bush*

Ooh, that's gotta hurt!

*Screams and beats out the fire*

*He straightens up slowly. His muscles begin flexing and his eyes are burning with the fire of a thousand suns*

You can chew my nose off with a rabbit. *He crushes a rock next to himself*

You stab me with giant tacks. *slays a nearby peasant*

You can send RAAHOTPWAITBGW-TTWRP (Really Annoyed Angry Housewives Of The Peasants Who Are In The Bar Getting Wasted - This Time With Rolling Pins!) *plucks a star from the sky and snuffs it out. Somewhere billions of lives are lost to Jocabia's rage*

But no one, NO ONE, messes with a man's bush!!! *Each of Jocabia's muscles ripple at once causing all the peasant women to swoon. His face is crimson and his eyes are an intense blue*

I have toyed with you thus far, son, but now you are going to suffer for exactly 82 more posts.

I am going to make you suffer with this *pulls out a pop gun that shoots marshmallows*

Wait, wait, I mean, THIS!!! *Pulls out a giant prosthetic device he uses for gameplay with TCG. He blushes (don't ask where he is pulling these things from since he's naked)*

Um, no, I mean, THIS!! *Pulls out a exact rubber replica of Clint Eastwood*

What? How do I keep ending up with this? I don't even remember buying him! Fine, I'm so angry that I will use my cosmic powers to smite you with a rubber replica of Clint Eastwood!

*sets up Clint Eastwood so his thousand yard stare is right on TTOL*

*eats a Goddess bar* Meorwr?
[Why is there two RR threads?]


*Shrugs and curls up in the corner... hoping to avoide detection by the peseant children.*

*Screams and beats out the fire*

*He straightens up slowly. His muscles begin flexing and his eyes are burning with the fire of a thousand suns*

You can chew my nose off with a rabbit. *He crushes a rock next to himself*

[snip]
Wait, wait, I mean, THIS!!! *Pulls out a giant prosthetic device he uses for gameplay with TCG. He blushes (don't ask where he is pulling these things from since he's naked)*

Um, no, I mean, THIS!! *Pulls out a exact rubber replica of Clint Eastwood*

What? How do I keep ending up with this? I don't even remember buying him! Fine, I'm so angry that I will use my cosmic powers to smite you with a rubber replica of Clint Eastwood!

*sets up Clint Eastwood so his thousand yard stare is right on TTOL*
rotflmao

So that's where it went.. I've been looking for it for days....

Meorwr?
[Why is there two RR threads?]


*Shrugs and curls up in the corner... hoping to avoide detection by the peseant children.*

Fret not! There will only be one when I have smoten the rebellious and rambucuous Tribes and used up the last 76 posts!!

*Screams and beats out the fire*

*He straightens up slowly. His muscles begin flexing and his eyes are burning with the fire of a thousand suns*

You can chew my nose off with a rabbit. *He crushes a rock next to himself*

You stab me with giant tacks. *slays a nearby peasant*

You can send RAAHOTPWAITBGW-TTWRP (Really Annoyed Angry Housewives Of The Peasants Who Are In The Bar Getting Wasted - This Time With Rolling Pins!) *plucks a star from the sky and snuffs it out. Somewhere billions of lives are lost to Jocabia's rage*

But no one, NO ONE, messes with a man's bush!!! *Each of Jocabia's muscles ripple at once causing all the peasant women to swoon. His face is crimson and his eyes are an intense blue*

I have toyed with you thus far, son, but now you are going to suffer for exactly 82 more posts.

I am going to make you suffer with this *pulls out a pop gun that shoots marshmallows*

Wait, wait, I mean, THIS!!! *Pulls out a giant prosthetic device he uses for gameplay with TCG. He blushes (don't ask where he is pulling these things from since he's naked)*

Um, no, I mean, THIS!! *Pulls out a exact rubber replica of Clint Eastwood*

What? How do I keep ending up with this? I don't even remember buying him! Fine, I'm so angry that I will use my cosmic powers to smite you with a rubber replica of Clint Eastwood!

*sets up Clint Eastwood so his thousand yard stare is right on TTOL*
*stares back at clint with a 2000yd stare*

*rubber clint runs off, crying like a girl*

Now I'm going to beat you with that prosthesis.

*grabs the prosthesis, wielding it like a double-edged sword. It is just that large*

What the hell do you do with a false limb, anyway?

*charges*

*stares back at clint with a 2000yd stare*

*rubber clint runs off, crying like a girl*

Now I'm going to beat you with that prosthesis.

*grabs the prosthesis, wielding it like a double-edged sword. It is just that large*

What the hell do you do with a false limb, anyway?

*charges*

*Reaches behind him and pulls out.... A random number generator. Presses big red button on it*

7123? What am I supposed to do with 7123?!?

*Reaches behind him and pulls out.... A random number generator. Presses big red button on it*

7123? What am I supposed to do with 7123?!?
*turns into a giant foam version of the number 7123*

Oh not again.

*turns into a giant foam version of the number 7123*

Oh not again.

I knew it. The random number generator never fails me.

*Reaches behind himself and pulls out... A giant bucket of foul water. He throws the water on the foam 7123 version of tribes and being foam he sucks it all up making him foul and difficult to look at*

I knew it. The random number generator never fails me.

*Reaches behind himself and pulls out... A giant bucket of foul water. He throws the water on the foam 7123 version of tribes and being foam he sucks it all up making him foul and difficult to look at*
*strangely, tribes has complete muscular control over his foamy number-body. Having filtered all of the manky water into an ultraconcentrated spot on the number '1', tribes squirts the foul liquid (although it's more like mucous) directly into Joc's left nostril, forever jamming it up there*

*spongy laugh* Fwah Fwah!

*strangely, tribes has complete muscular control over his foamy number-body. Having filtered all of the manky water into an ultraconcentrated spot on the number '1', tribes squirts the foul liquid (although it's more like mucous) directly into Joc's left nostril, forever jamming it up there*

*spongy laugh* Fwah Fwah!

*squints left eye* Why is it always the left nostril? *attempts to make a snot rocket but it doesn't work causing Jocabia to blow out an eardrum*

Ah, but I have much more dangerous weapons than those I have yet used. I have my trusty... *pulls out a washcloth. Drops it*

My trusty... *pulls out a pair of cufflinks. Drops them*

MY TRUSTY... *pulls out a large oddly shaped cellphone. Settles* CELLPHONE and an unending blind faith in David Hasselhoff. (celebrity voices are impersonated. Any resemblence to persons either living or dead is intentional and done for comedic purposes. Get over it.)

*Quickly calls David Hasselhoff*

Hey, pookie. Can you help me out?.... Yes.... Yes.... Why, yes, of course.... It's a giant-foam-7123-version-of-The-Tribes-Of-Longton... k, see you then *hangs up phone*

Now, son, you're in for a world of hurt.

Oh noes! David Hasselhof is going to sing at me!!!

*runs away and hides where Joc can't find him. Inside some sort of soundproof room. With his fingers in his ears. And a gun close by, in case the Hasselhof radiation becomes too great*

Oh noes! David Hasselhof is going to sing at me!!!

*runs away and hides where Joc can't find him. Inside some sort of soundproof room. With his fingers in his ears. And a gun close by, in case the Hasselhof radiation becomes too great*
*takes power to hear david hasslhoff from him* there all better
*gives cookie*

*A black firebird appears on the horizon. At the rate it appears to be growing it must be going insanely fast. It's driving straight at Jocabia. Jocabia stands there, nonchalantly, drinking his beer. Just moments before running Jocabia down, the car skids to a hault, millimeters from Jocabia's shin. Jocabia smashes the bottle on the ground*

David, it's time. Don't start with that wussy stuff. Bring out the big guns.

*David Hasselhoff jumps from the car dressed in black leather pants that must have been painted on and a white billowing blouse*

*Jocabia pulls out a box marked "anti-DH earplugs". He tears the package and places the earplugs in his ears.*

*David Hasselhoff steps up the the mike and giant amplifier that just happens to be there and leans down to Jocabia*

DH: How come there's no harmonizer? I always use a harmonizer
Joc: WHAT?!?
DH: A HARMONIZER!!!
Joc: WHAT?!?
DH: A HARMONIZER!!! I NEVER SING WITHOUT A HARMONIZER

*seeing the look of confusion on Jocabia's face (because he can't hear DH), David Hasselhoff decides to just go ahead and sing without a harmonizer exactly according to Jocabia's plan*

*David Hasselhoff begins to sing in German. Very loudly and very out of tune*

*eating popcorn, she watches the show...*

*steals popcorn through the elaborate use of a fishing pole and some sparklers*

*A black firebird appears on the horizon. At the rate it appears to be growing it must be going insanely fast. It's driving straight at Jocabia. Jocabia stands there, nonchalantly, drinking his beer. Just moments before running Jocabia down, the car skids to a hault, millimeters from Jocabia's shin. Jocabia smashes the bottle on the ground*

David, it's time. Don't start with that wussy stuff. Bring out the big guns.

*David Hasselhoff jumps from the car dressed in black leather pants that must have been painted on and a white billowing blouse*

*Jocabia pulls out a box marked "anti-DH earplugs". He tears the package and places the earplugs in his ears.*

*David Hasselhoff steps up the the mike and giant amplifier that just happens to be there and leans down to Jocabia*

DH: How come there's no harmonizer? I always use a harmonizer
Joc: WHAT?!?
DH: A HARMONIZER!!!
Joc: WHAT?!?
DH: A HARMONIZER!!! I NEVER SING WITHOUT A HARMONIZER

*seeing the look of confusion on Jocabia's face (because he can't hear DH), David Hasselhoff decides to just go ahead and sing without a harmonizer exactly according to Jocabia's plan*

*David Hasselhoff begins to sing in German. Very loudly and very out of tune*

*David Hasselhoff, really getting into the performance, tears off his billowing shirt, leaving only the painted on leather pants*

*Fortunately for Jocabia, he has shielded his eyes*

*David Hasselhoff, really getting into the performance, tears off his billowing shirt, leaving only the painted on leather pants*

*Fortunately for Jocabia, he has shielded his eyes*

*calls forth more popcorn and rolls on her pillow pile, laughing*

Soon, soon the #7 Kazoo will be destroyed by one Mr. David Hasselhoff. *while shielding his eyes he motions to DH* Do it quickly my pet before #8 catches up with us. Tribes will pay for what he's done *looks down at his recently repaired scrotum* Oh, he'll pay. *jocabia says, though no one can hear him over the howling of David Hasselhoff*

Soon, soon the #7 Kazoo will be destroyed by one Mr. David Hasselhoff. *while shielding his eyes he motions to DH* Do it quickly my pet before #8 catches up with us. Tribes will pay for what he's done *looks down at his recently repaired scrotum* Oh, he'll pay. *jocabia says, though no one can hear him over the howling of David Hasselhoff*

*he feels familiar touch on his mind*

you forget my lovely, i can hear everything...
*feels light touch of scrotum*
Maybe if you're nice, i can fix that for you...

*he feels familiar touch on his mind*

you forget my lovely, i can hear everything...
*feels light touch of scrotum*
Maybe if you're nice, i can fix that for you...

Good, because the stitches are beginning to itch and when I'm constantly scratching down there I look like a baseball player.

Good, because the stitches are beginning to itch and when I'm constantly scratching down there I look like a baseball player.

Baseball player....bat....uniform
*eyes glaze over*

*Suddenly a vending machine appears next to Jocabia*

Mmmmm... I didn't realize how hungry I was until just now.

*Another machine that dispenses beer appears next to the first machine*

Yes, perfect. That way I can sit back, enjoy a snack and watch the demise of tribes.

*Jocabia puts money in each machine and carefully makes his selection, a snickers bar (because snickers satisfies you) and a Sam Adams.*

*Out pops a Zagnut and a Budweiser*

*Jocabia looks on in disbelief. He reaches down grabs his two vending machine rewards and holds them to the sky*

Damn you, Tribes! Damn you straight to h-e-double hockey sticks!! I swear by all that is good and holy that I will peel the skin from your emaciated corpse and make it into a vending machine that only dispenses zagnuts and budweisers so you can spend eternity being pummelled by disappointed vendees! This is my solemn promise!

*drops to his knees and let's his arms fall to the ground. The budweiser rolls away*

Note from the Kazoo Gods: We felt so sorry for a man forced to endure the sorrow of pressing a button for Sam Adams and receiving Budweiser that we decided to let him swear for the remainder of the thread. Add to that, the disappointment of receiving a zagnut instead of a snickers and we have tripled the penalty for his arch-nemesis, The Tribes of Longton, since he is responsible for this devilry. Slip up once, Tribes, and we'll send you straight to the bad place.

*sitting in his little, soundproof room (ex-nuclear bunker) far below the Earth, tribes has his fingers in his ears, loudly shouting 'LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING AT ALL LA LA LA!!!' with the speakers playing white noise, just to be sure. However, the Hoff is penetrating the Earth's crust, bellowing tunes that only a German could love like a child. A great rent in the Bedrock appears, breaking open the bunker like a soft eggshell. The gun sits on the chair. Tribes knows he has to end it all in order to be sane, right to the end. However, in his panic to die before he becomes 'infected', tribes fumbles the D. Eagle, dropping it with the safety off. The gun discharges directly out of the cavernous crack. A .50 cal round punctures the Hoff in his 'man' area, tearing the mojo from his very soul. Shocked, Hoff manages to holler the line 'Where have my naaaaaaaaaaads....gooooooone?' before collapsing in a pool if his own testosterone. Tribes climbs out of the crack, slightly tainted but still the old tribes*

Buggered your plans, didn't I?

*nuts Joc*

And if you EVER try anything like that again, you'll sing like choirboy jailbait in Sing Sing.

*sitting in his little, soundproof room (ex-nuclear bunker) far below the Earth, tribes has his fingers in his ears, loudly shouting 'LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING AT ALL LA LA LA!!!' with the speakers playing white noise, just to be sure. However, the Hoff is penetrating the Earth's crust, bellowing tunes that only a German could love like a child. A great rent in the Bedrock appears, breaking open the bunker like a soft eggshell. The gun sits on the chair. Tribes knows he has to end it all in order to be sane, right to the end. However, in his panic to die before he becomes 'infected', tribes fumbles the D. Eagle, dropping it with the safety off. The gun discharges directly out of the cavernous crack. A .50 cal round punctures the Hoff in his 'man' area, tearing the mojo from his very soul. Shocked, Hoff manages to holler the line 'Where have my naaaaaaaaaaads....gooooooone?' before collapsing in a pool if his own testosterone. Tribes climbs out of the crack, slightly tainted but still the old tribes*

Buggered your plans, didn't I?

*nuts Joc*

And if you EVER try anything like that again, you'll sing like choirboy jailbait in Sing Sing.

*Jocabia falls to the ground. He reaches out and his hand closes on the budweiser. He cracks the bottom off the bottle and swings throwing the foul ale into the air. Some of the nasty liquid lands in the mouth of an off-guard TTOL who instinctively swallows what some might call 'beer'.*

Take that, bitch! *He laughs*

*Jocabia falls to the ground. He reaches out and his hand closes on the budweiser. He cracks the bottom off the bottle and swings throwing the foul ale into the air. Some of the nasty liquid lands in the mouth of an off-guard TTOL who instinctively swallows what some might call 'beer'.*

Take that, bitch! *He laughs*
*his throat swells as the rusty coin water known as 'bud' touches his oesophagus, resulting in his airways being blocked. Fighting for air, tribes staggers about, clutching at nothing whilst drowning in his own lung fluids. Suddenly, an idea appears. Taking a half-brick, he wings it at Joc, causing it to smash him in the ribs. Satisfied that achieved its goal, tribes continues to stagger about*

Gack!

*suddenly, another idea appears. Taking his reserve supply of Homebrew, he fills a syringe and injects the beer. It has an instant effect, sequestering the budweiser particles from solution and replacing them with sweet amber nectar. His throat opens, and the now-purple tribes breathes again. Then he turns to Joc*

Below the belt dude. *gasp* Below the soddin-

*gets his by rocks*

*his throat swells as the rusty coin water known as 'bud' touches his oesophagus, resulting in his airways being blocked. Fighting for air, tribes staggers about, clutching at nothing whilst drowning in his own lung fluids. Suddenly, an idea appears. Taking a half-brick, he wings it at Joc, causing it to smash him in the ribs. Satisfied that achieved its goal, tribes continues to stagger about*

Gack!

*suddenly, another idea appears. Taking his reserve supply of Homebrew, he fills a syringe and injects the beer. It has an instant effect, sequestering the budweiser particles from solution and replacing them with sweet amber nectar. His throat opens, and the now-purple tribes breathes again. Then he turns to Joc*

Below the belt dude. *gasp* Below the soddin-

*gets his by rocks*

guiness for everyone!
*drinks his own*

guiness for everyone!
*drinks his own...
...bodily fluids*

That's disgusting, Choq! ;)

*sitting on her pillows, eating popcorn*

This is the best show on!

...bodily fluids*

That's disgusting, Choq! ;)
...mmmm delicious!

*his throat swells as the rusty coin water known as 'bud' touches his oesophagus, resulting in his airways being blocked. Fighting for air, tribes staggers about, clutching at nothing whilst drowning in his own lung fluids. Suddenly, an idea appears. Taking a half-brick, he wings it at Joc, causing it to smash him in the ribs. Satisfied that achieved its goal, tribes continues to stagger about*

Gack!

*suddenly, another idea appears. Taking his reserve supply of Homebrew, he fills a syringe and injects the beer. It has an instant effect, sequestering the budweiser particles from solution and replacing them with sweet amber nectar. His throat opens, and the now-purple tribes breathes again. Then he turns to Joc*

Below the belt dude. *gasp* Below the soddin-

*gets his by rocks*

*Jocabia quickly recovers from the brick that hit him in the ribs. He looks around for a weapon and sees the zagnut. He unwraps the baby feces that passes for food and stuffs the loathsome substance into the mouth of a prostrate TTOL. Not satisfied that this is punishment enough he forces the mouth of TTOL closed making him bite into the vile, ungodly stuff called zagnut.*

You want below the belt?!? I'll give you below the belt!