NationStates Jolt Archive

*Thoroughly dishevelled, the Divine One rises from her pillow throne*

Well...*breaths heavily* How about drinks everyone?

*falls back into pillows*

*Thoroughly dishevelled, the Divine One rises from her pillow throne*

Well...*breaths heavily* How about drinks everyone?

*falls back into pillows*

Drinks are good and so are flagpoles, whips out his flagpole.


Bimbo go kill some more peasants outside.

Drinks are good and so are flagpoles, whips out his flagpole.


Bimbo go kill some more peasants outside.

*head pops over the pillows*

*eyes the flagpole*
What ever are you going to do with that?

*bats her eyelashes*

*head pops over the pillows*

*eyes the flagpole*
What ever are you going to do with that?

*bats her eyelashes*

Play with it of course.


Now you see it.........

Now you don't..........

Now you see it.........

*The explosions slowly fade away*

*is relaxed*

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............................ :p

Play with it of course.


Now you see it.........

Now you don't..........

Now you see it.........


Wait, wait. I want to get a good seat.

*rearranges the pillows and watches with interest*

Wait, wait. I want to get a good seat.

*rearranges the pillows and watches with interest*


When I buff my flagpole I can make it grow........when I take a shiny sharp knife I can make it pointy.

It' s so much fun. You're turn.

When I buff my flagpole I can make it grow........when I take a shiny sharp knife I can make it pointy.

It' s so much fun. You're turn.

My turn to buff your flagpole? I thought you'd never ask!!!
*pulls him unto the pillows and starts buffing*
:D
I even have a secret lotion to make it all shiny.
*wicked laugh*

*sighs*

*goes for a walk in the woods*

*enjoys nature*

*sighs*

*goes for a walk in the woods*

*enjoys nature*

*hears whisper in ear*
I am divine you know, I can divide and conquer...
*something wet is smeared and is then licked by a playful tongue*

*hears whisper in ear*
I am divine you know, I can divide and conquer...
*something wet is smeared and is then licked by a playful tongue*
Ooooohhh! :D

Maybe we could rule the universe together, huh? ;)

My turn to buff your flagpole? I thought you'd never ask!!!
*pulls him unto the pillows and starts buffing*
:D
I even have a secret lotion to make it all shiny.
*wicked laugh*

Ooooo nice lotion, I can see my reflection. I want to be pointy and shiny all over.

Ooooohhh! :D

Maybe we could rule the universe together, huh? ;)

*laughs sweetly*
We can discuss that... afterwards.

*a shadow appears behind*

*laughs sweetly*
We can discuss that... afterwards.

*a shadow appears behind*
Afterwards what?

*glances around nervously*

Heh... :D

Afterwards what?

*glances around nervously*

Heh... :D

*TCG is there but... darker*
Why don't we discuss that? Do you like comfy pillows, or a straight chair?
*wicked grin*

*TCG is there but... darker*
Why don't we discuss that? Do you like comfy pillows, or a straight chair?
*wicked grin*
I don't know what you mean by "straight chair"...

I don't know what you mean by "straight chair"...
Tell me, do you scare easily? *eyelashes batting innocently*

*lurks towards TPE*
:fluffle: :p :fluffle:

Tell me, do you scare easily? *eyelashes batting innocently*

*lurks towards TPE*
:fluffle: :p :fluffle:
Do I scare people easily? no. Do I get scared easily? yes...

:fluffle: :p :fluffle:

Do I scare people easily? no. Do I get scared easily? yes...

:fluffle: :p :fluffle:

Maybe know is the time for you to get over that fright of yours.

*suddenly, TPE is sitting in straight chair, tied with chocolate rope*
Now, I know you're all powerful, but this isn't a contest on much talent we have. Just trust me...
*naughty laugh*

Maybe know is the time for you to get over that fright of yours.

*suddenly, TPE is sitting in straight chair, tied with chocolate rope*
Now, I know you're all powerful, but this isn't a contest on much talent we have. Just trust me...
*naughty laugh*
*eyes widen*

Oh shit....

Ooooo nice lotion, I can see my reflection. I want to be pointy and shiny all over.

*now TGC1 vigorously buffing the nice, long and shiny flagpole*
Now for my special weapon...

*smears one drop of the xtra-spicy secret sauce*

*now TGC1 vigorously buffing the nice, long and shiny flagpole*
Now for my special weapon...

*smears one drop of the xtra-spicy secret sauce*
OOC: The TCG that's with me isn't the real TCG, right?

A) This thread has passed 65 pages/1300 posts, and thus I'm locking it. You may repost it and continue, provided that B) The cybering stops. Now. Warnings may be given if you fail to adhere to this.

~ Tsar the Mod.

That was quick :p

14 = 65 ?

and just in time for the daily Jolt freeze-up :rolleyes:

Sorry about that; I'm not quite sure exactly how I made that mistake. You may continue.

But I do mean it about the cybering. You want to "buff" each other's "flagpoles", you do it off these forums.

~ Tsar the Mod.

Sorry about that; I'm not quite sure exactly how I made that mistake. You may continue.

But I do mean it about the cybering. You want to "buff" each other's "flagpoles", you do it off these forums.

~ Tsar the Mod.You must have been looking at the views and not the posts.

OOC: The TCG that's with me isn't the real TCG, right?

Well, I am Divine and thus, I can be in more than one place. So this version of myself is as real as the other one... except she's... darker. :D

Well, I am Divine and thus, I can be in more than one place. So this version of myself is as real as the other one... except she's... darker. :D
OOC: physically darker, or evilly darker?

OOC: WOW! Just now, I had a sense of deja vu...

OOC: WOW! Just now, I had a sense of deja vu...

OOC Those are cool. Physically darker, yes. Evil? No. Wicked? Amazingly sinful? Well I guess we won't really find that out, now.

OOC Those are cool. Physically darker, yes. Evil? No. Wicked? Amazingly sinful? Well I guess we won't really find that out, now.
Because of what the mod said? damn. :p :(

EDIT: Well, we could always RP it via telegrams ;)

Because of what the mod said? damn. :p :(

EDIT: Well, we could always RP it via telegrams ;)

Well, I'm sure I can think of something wickedly innocent... :fluffle: :p :fluffle:

In the meantime
*a huge pile of fluffy pillows appear*
Why don't we continue this conversation seating more comfortably, hum?

*extends her hands*

Well, I'm sure I can think of something wickedly innocent... :fluffle: :p :fluffle:

In the meantime
*a huge pile of fluffy pillows appear*
Why don't we continue this conversation seating more comfortably, hum?

*extends her hands*
*winces as her hands reach toward to take him to the pillow pile*

that was strange

*winces as her hands reach toward to take him to the pillow pile*
I don't bite... often
*tries to smile reassuringly*

I don't bite... often
*tries to smile reassuringly*
*relaxes a bit*

Of course... ;)

*is reassured*

*relaxes a bit*

Of course... ;)

*is reassured*

*trailing behind TPE fails to notice the self-satisfied smirk on her face*

*drops on the pillows*

*trailing behind TPE fails to notice the self-satisfied smirk on her face*

*drops on the pillows*
*drops on the pillows with her*
:fluffle: :p :fluffle: :fluffle: :p :fluffle: :fluffle: :p :fluffle:

*drops on the pillows with her*
:fluffle: :p :fluffle: :fluffle: :p :fluffle: :fluffle: :p :fluffle:

*nestled closely to TPE*

What else is there to do in this place? Chaos, mayhem and violence? How do you feel about those?

*nestled closely to TPE*

What else is there to do in this place? Chaos, mayhem and violence? How do you feel about those?
Chaos and mayhem is great, but for me, no violence. :)

Chaos and mayhem is great, but for me, no violence. :)

All right... Let me think, there is much opportunity to wreak havoc in here. *looks around and nods*

Why don' t you take me back to your place and we can discuss, humm?

All right... Let me think, there is much opportunity to wreak havoc in here. *looks around and nods*

Why don' t you take me back to your place and we can discuss, humm?
Of course.

*teleports her and him to Deneb, the Capital star system of the Plutonian Empire*

Well, since Im actually very anti-violence - the disaproval of mock cybering here sort of nullifies my role... poor little Spaceman Spiff... he never had a chance. :(

Well, since Im actually very anti-violence - the disaproval of mock cybering here sort of nullifies my role... poor little Spaceman Spiff... he never had a chance. :(

*TCG1 notices the mighty Lasc and sighs*

Well, since Im actually very anti-violence

You pansy.

*punches Spiff in the arm with no fear of revenge*

Well, since Im actually very anti-violence - the disaproval of mock cybering here sort of nullifies my role... poor little Spaceman Spiff... he never had a chance. :(
Yeah. That sucks BIG time :(

Of course.

*teleports her and him to Deneb, the Capital star system of the Plutonian Empire*
OOC: Just so you know, there is no thread here on deneb, but it is in my forum, or we could "discuss" things via telegrams. :)

Yeah. That sucks BIG time :(
Oh well, cest la vie! :)

A) This thread has passed 65 pages/1300 posts, and thus I'm locking it. You may repost it and continue, provided that B) The cybering stops. Now. Warnings may be given if you fail to adhere to this.

~ Tsar the Mod.
well. there goes our world. i wonder how much violence i can get away with .... how does everyone feel abou the first challenge? want to continue more of those? or give this up in a puff of smoke?
hmm. any how, i have worked the last 19 hours, so sorry i havent been around.

well. there goes our world. i wonder how much violence i can get away with .... how does everyone feel abou the first challenge? want to continue more of those? or give this up in a puff of smoke?
hmm. any how, i have worked the last 19 hours, so sorry i havent been around.
Well, sorry Occidio - I had a blast, but Im sooo anti-violence, and if Spiff cant get up to no good... then its over here for me :(

The first challenge was alright. It sparked a lot of sexual innuendo, which is apparently frowned upon around here, but the violent part was good.

Well, sorry Occidio - I had a blast, but Im sooo anti-violence, and if Spiff cant get up to no good... then its over here for me :(
well, stick around. you can be the voice of reason that we hang towels on. ;)

well, stick around. you can be the voice of reason that we hang towels on. ;)
Now that sounds like a plan!! Yay!! :) :fluffle: :)

I guess I'll start paying more attention now that is going to be based more around violence

My idea: we all leave NS, and not come back until they re-allow sexual innuendo! :D

Now that sounds like a plan!! Yay!! :) :fluffle: :)
awesome.

My idea: we all leave NS, and not come back until they re-allow sexual innuendo! :D
cool.

but really, should i be asking in moderation about this?

My idea: we all leave NS, and not come back until they re-allow sexual innuendo! :D
But I dont' care about the sexuall innuendo, I wasnt' offended by it, I just feel indifferent about it.

But I dont' care about the sexuall innuendo, I wasnt' offended by it, I just feel indifferent about it.
Yeah. I can't believe that anti-sex american puritanicalism has taken over the world. :(

"No more sex, and you shall be treated good"

:rolleyes:

*seethes*

Now, let the violence begin! *evil grin*

*storm clouds begin to gather*

Yeah. I can't believe that anti-sex american puritanicalism has taken over the world. :(

"No more sex, and you shall be treated good"

:rolleyes:

*seethes*

Now, let the violence begin! *evil grin*

*storm clouds begin to gather*
no no no, you took it wrong. If you knew me you would be more scared of me than you seem to be. I have a genuine apathy to just about everything, and so far sex is one of those things. I dont' hate sex, just indifferent about it.

no no no, you took it wrong. If you knew me you would be more scared of me than you seem to be. I have a genuine apathy to just about everything, and so far sex is one of those things. I dont' hate sex, just indifferent about it.
No, i didn't take it wrong, because it wasn't directed at you. I fully understand and respect your indifference :)

onto the sensless violence

Pulls out a pistol and shoots a peastant

onto the sensless violence

Pulls out a pistol and shoots a peastant
hands out a treasure map with directions to the mass graves.

really you guys, i am surprised and stoked by the participation in these threads, and apologize that i have been missing for two days, and cant update like i was doing, but i will be back on monday, after a much needed rest. Peechland- you are more than amazing for continuing the thread after it got too long and collecting THAT many scrotums. who knew?? :D
anyways- see you monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hands out a treasure map with directions to the mass graves.

really you guys, i am surprised and stoked by the participation in these threads, and apologize that i have been missing for two days, and cant update like i was doing, but i will be back on monday, after a much needed rest. Peechland- you are more than amazing for continuing the thread after it got too long and collecting THAT many scrotums. who knew?? :D
anyways- see you monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*as a tornado devastates a city of millions*

Later, Occ!

*urinates on your castle*

I'm still the king.

Hello kanbia, say hello to my little friend, the little red dot

Hello kanbia, say hello to my little friend, the little red dot

*calls lightning bolt down on your head*

Hi.

Fine then make me get all dirty.
*pulls out flame thrower*
FWOOOOOOOSH

surveys what is left of the room, nothing but black ashes, good, very good

*urinates on your castle*

I'm still the king.

*urinates on Kanabia*

We don't take kindly to kings around these parts.

*urinates on Kanabia*

We don't take kindly to kings around these parts.

We shore don't. I got my six-shooter fer handlin' them king fellers.

http://img238.exs.cx/img238/8700/gun_big.th.jpg (http://img238.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img238&image=gun_big.jpg)

*DIF suddenly goes completely insane, in two ways* What is this? This is an outrage! TCG, I'm the one supposed to spread fluffiness, and here you go creating fluffy pillows! And you didn't even notice that I filled your temporal pocket with a massive pile of fluff before! Grr! GRR!!! I feel like I could fluff up the whole world! *insert evil, insane laugher here*

*suddenly, a strange burst of light appears and spreads throughout the whole universe, and within one second, the whole universe explodes in a cloud of pure fluffiness. Then, two seconds later, the now more than slightly expanded (and fluffy) universe suddenly implodes back to it's previous state, and everything goes on as normal, except...*

*completely exhausted, DIF faints and falls to the ground*

It pillages and plunders, kills your women and rapes your men! He always keeps the toilet seat up! The fear of white-socked and sandaled men. It is him, Hak!

*urinates on Kanabia*

We don't take kindly to kings around these parts.

Can I come in anyway? It's cold out here and I want free booze.

*looks around empty castle, resembling a land version of the Mary Celeste*

If you lot had a slaughter without me, then all died in the process and went to some really cool version of Valhalla with lots of sex and warring, I'm gonna be soo....sooooo.....disgruntled. Yeah, I said it, disgruntled!

*searches for beer and slaves*

*looks around empty castle, resembling a land version of the Mary Celeste*

If you lot had a slaughter without me, then all died in the process and went to some really cool version of Valhalla with lots of sex and warring, I'm gonna be soo....sooooo.....disgruntled. Yeah, I said it, disgruntled!

*searches for beer and slaves*

*steps from her temporal pocket*
*looks at Tribes, and 12 slaves and a keg appear near her*
Are you on e of those you must absolutely hunt for slaves or will you acccept these... gifts as a sign of... respect.

*steps from her temporal pocket*
*looks at Tribes, and 12 slaves and a keg appear near her*
Are you on e of those you must absolutely hunt for slaves or will you acccept these... gifts as a sign of... respect.
*considers*

Gifts? Meh, I'm lazy, horny and have a porta-bed (also known as 'the floor') so...

*accepts*

Did I get anything else? *hops in anticipation*

*considers*

Gifts? Meh, I'm lazy, horny and have a porta-bed (also known as 'the floor') so...

*accepts*

Did I get anything else? *hops in anticipation*

*looks at you curiously*

Let me explain how this works:
1. You are not my worshipper, therefore I can't pick up your heart's desire. All I can do I pick up on your thoughts, some of them anyway.
2. I may not grant to mortals things that are not of my domain.

Now what else did you have in mind and what's in it for me? *smiles sweetly*

*looks at you curiously*

Let me explain how this works:
1. You are not my worshipper, therefore I can't pick up your heart's desire. All I can do I pick up on your thoughts, some of them anyway.
2. I may not grant to mortals things that are not of my domain.

Now what else did you have in mind and what's in it for me? *smiles sweetly*
A couple of kilos of body chocolate and me, respectively :p

Of course, I can always change the me for whatever you want. I'm sure I could slay someone around here to get it.

A couple of kilos of body chocolate and me, respectively :p

Of course, I can always change the me for whatever you want. I'm sure I could slay someone around here to get it.

Ok, plus, you have to allow me to watch you on your next rampage AND I have exclusive rights to bodily fluids. Deal?

*spits in her hand and extends it*

Ok, plus, you have to allow me to watch you on your next rampage AND I have exclusive rights to bodily fluids. Deal?

*spits in her hand and extends it*
*puts bodily fluids on his hand and extends*

Ooh, the suspense of guessing what the particular fluid it is!

*dramatic music*

(nah, it's just spit. Sorry) *shakes hand*

*puts bodily fluids on his hand and extends*

Ooh, the suspense of guessing what the particular fluid it is!

*dramatic music*

(nah, it's just spit. Sorry) *shakes hand*

Done and done!

*looks around*
What know? Chaos and mayhem?

*snaps her fingers and slave brings goblets*
*she takes one and sips*

Done and done!

*looks around*
What know? Chaos and mayhem?

*snaps her fingers and slave brings goblets*
*she takes one and sips*
*slaughters passing peasant family*

We really need more people. Can I have a drink of yours? Though the brewery serves beer specifically tuned to your alcohol-needs, it does get boring drinking the same drinks all the time. :)

*slaughters passing peasant family*

We really need more people. Can I have a drink of yours? Though the brewery serves beer specifically tuned to your alcohol-needs, it does get boring drinking the same drinks all the time. :)

*hands over a goblet*
Yeah, really. Cheers!

*hands over a goblet*
Yeah, really. Cheers!
*downs goblet*

Hey, uh, what's in this? It tastes like chocolate with something in it...

*breathes fire*

*passes out*

*downs goblet*

Hey, uh, what's in this? It tastes like chocolate with something in it...

*breathes fire*

*passes out*

Mortals are so fragile.

*a pile of pillows appears under Tribes*

Oh well *drops on another pile of pillows and falls asleep*

Mortals are so fragile.

*a pile of pillows appears under Tribes*

Oh well *drops on another pile of pillows and falls asleep*
*wakes up on pillows, with small pool of drool under mouth*

Oh for Godess' sake :p

*wakes up on pillows, with small pool of drool under mouth*

Oh for Godess' sake :p

*pretends to still sleep*
*tries to muffle laughter in pillows*

*pretends to still sleep*
*tries to muffle laughter in pillows*
*looks around, slightly confused*

What was that noise? It couldn't have been TCC, she's asleep...

Or is she?

*sinister eyes, looking left and right furtively*

*looks around, slightly confused*

What was that noise? It couldn't have been TCC, she's asleep...

Or is she?

*sinister eyes, looking left and right furtively*

*tries to move head more into pillow in a natural movement*
*can't stop laughing... body is racked with myrth...*

*tries to move head more into pillow in a natural movement*
*can't stop laughing... body is racked with myrth...*
What the hell is he doing here? :D

ALSO: Shocked! I think I've had some of my posts deated! Oh, the spammery of youth...

What the hell is he doing here? :D

ALSO: Shocked! I think I've had some of my posts deated! Oh, the spammery of youth...


LOL
*the sound shakes the castle*
*sounds of terrified slaves from dungeon*

*OOC on both counts, can't help myself*

LOL
*the sound shakes the castle*
*sounds of terrified slaves from dungeon*

*OOC on both counts, can't help myself*
Hey, you just made me think of a compliment:

'Your laughter fills lesser mortals with dread'

Does it work?

Hey, you just made me think of a compliment:

'Your laughter fills lesser mortals with dread'

Does it work?

:fluffle:

How did you know? ;)

:fluffle:

How did you know? ;)
Because I sweat compliments, of course :D

(not really, I generally speak them - albeit accidentally in some cases)

Because I sweat compliments, of course :D

(not really, I generally speak them - albeit accidentally in some cases)

OOC I think we're getting too nice for this thread. :p

*a chocolate whip appears in hand*

We need to stir things up
*looks for a target*

OOC I think we're getting too nice for this thread. :p

*a chocolate whip appears in hand*

We need to stir things up
*looks for a target*
Too nice?

*unhooks mace, staps on Peech's leather assless chaps, grabs a cat-o-nine tails*

Grrrr...

Too nice?

*unhooks mace, staps on Peech's leather assless chaps, grabs a cat-o-nine tails*

Grrrr...

*wicked grin*
Why don't we go in the dungeon?
*whips heels of nearby slave*

*wicked grin*
Why don't we go in the dungeon?
*whips heels of nearby slave*
*looks at a scared cheerleader, who happens to be tagging along*

Punish?

*looks at a scared cheerleader, who happens to be tagging along*

Punish?
All yours. I am the Expert Voyeur in this little group, after all.

All yours. I am the Expert Voyeur in this little group, after all.
Ah yes, I'd almost forgotten about your little vouyeristic methods.

Anyway, to the punishing....

*produces flail*

*looks at a scared cheerleader, who happens to be tagging along*

Punish?
A loud crack fills the air, and the cheer leader falls over dead, blood draining from a recently formed hole in her chest. A little red dot is seen bouncing around the room.

A loud crack fills the air, and the cheer leader falls over dead, blood draining from a recently formed hole in her chest. A little red dot is seen bouncing around the room.
That's an...interesting fetish you have there, NOF...waste my fun you git :p

That's an...interesting fetish you have there, NOF...waste my fun you git :p
the little red dot slowly moves to TToL's feet

the little red dot slowly moves to TToL's feet


My, what an interesting method? How do you do it, exactly?

the little red dot slowly moves to TToL's feet
*bursts a bag of flour and follows the laser-line to its origin*

*throws an axe at NOF, deliberately missing by a few inches and burying it in the stone wall nearby*

Now shush you. Shoot all the slaves you want, just after I have toyed with them a little.

another crack is heard and a hole is formed in the floor next to TToL's feet. The dot slowly moves up TToL's body

the dot suddenly dissapears, and NoF moves.

another crack is heard and a hole is formed in the floor next to TToL's feet. The dot slowly moves up TToL's body


*seats in comfy chair to watch*

*to NOF*
Just don't hurt him too much.

*to Tribes*
I'll put you back together again *sweet smile*

the dot suddenly dissapears, and NoF moves.

*sighs*

Oh well, I guess I'll have to get some other entertainment... *pouts*

Another crack is heard, and blows the fluff in the chair TCG was sitting on all over the room

*sighs*

Oh well, I guess I'll have to get some other entertainment... *pouts*
Don't worry, I'm sure he's only hunting for another perfect vantage point. Snipers like to find a spot, camp ther for ages, remove the target and then move on quickly to avoid detection. There are hundreds of shadowy bits for him, just look in them with your voyeuristic skills :D

Another crack is heard, and blows the fluff in the chair TCG was sitting on all over the room

*wicked laugh*

Now that's more like it!

Don't worry, I'm sure he's only hunting for another perfect vantage point. Snipers like to find a spot, camp ther for ages, remove the target and then move on quickly to avoid detection. There are hundreds of shadowy bits for him, just look in them with your voyeuristic skills :D

I might try to track him down... and we have sooo much in common.

;)

*crack*
TToL's shoelaces burst into shreds

I might try to track him down... and we have sooo much in common.

;)
You mean like watching all the action, or being slighlty sadistic in your pleasures... :p

You mean like watching all the action, or being slighlty sadistic in your pleasures... :p


Now that would depend entirely on the mood.
*points to shoelaces*
let me replace those.

*done*

*crack*
A hole appears in TToL's hand

*crack*
A hole appears in TToL's hand
Hah! I do not feel your wimpy pain methods! I have been worked over by Peech!

*looks at hole in hand*
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Hah! I do not feel your wimpy pain methods! I have been worked over by Peech!

*looks at hole in hand*
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!

*watches with interest*

*crack*
another hole, just a little bit further up his arm

*crack*
just a little further

*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
a hole appears on his shoulder

*crack*
another hole, just a little bit further up his arm

*crack*
just a little further

*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
*crack*
a hole appears on his shoulder
*pulls out USAS-12 and duelling spork*

*camoflagues self in shadows with thermal masking equipment and dark clothes*

*proceeds to seek out NOF*

decides that the clip is empty and pulls out flamethrower p-90 combo

decides that the clip is empty and pulls out flamethrower p-90 combo
*silently curses*

*pulls out USAS-12 and duelling spork*

*camoflagues self in shadows with thermal masking equipment and dark clothes*

*proceeds to seek out NOF*

*moves to her temporal pocket for a better vantage point*
OOOOhhh, where are the chipits?

NoF enters the first hallway, behind a wall of flames and bullets

NoF enters the first hallway, behind a wall of flames and bullets
*produces indescriminate grenade, cylindrical in shape*

Do you have any idea of what this is?

EDIT: *thinks again*

wait, it's indescriminate...

OK, I'll tell you - it's a phosphorous grenade, and there are many more...

*produces indescriminate grenade, cylindrical in shape*

Do you have any idea of what this is?
"fun for me"
shoots at the grenade

"fun for me"
shoots at the grenade
*top of grenade is blown off*

SHIT!

*lobs it before the contents are spilled*

You'll pay for thator I'll die in a hail of bullets and flame!

"fun for me"
shoots at the grenade
*... and a shower of gems flies everywhere*

*cackles and shoots flames and bullets back down the hallway*

*cackles and shoots flames and bullets back down the hallway*
*hides behind a pillar, rolls a phossy grenade towards NOF*

*waits til it explodes then runs at NOF, duelling spork held high*

AAARRRRGGHH!

*stops, looks at the time*

Merde! I have work in the morning, I have to go!

*lobs a couple of CS gas grenades and runs like the work-fiend he is (not a coward)* :D

counters with butt of P-90 to the face.

Stands over TToL as he is back first on the ground and says two things
"First, dont' mess with seasoned mercenary, second, isnt there something amazing about a 50 round standard clip of armor piercing rounds?"
aims P-90 at ground around TToL and fires a short burst into the ground around his legs.

counters with butt of P-90 to the face.

Stands over TToL as he is back first on the ground and says two things
"First, dont' mess with seasoned mercenary, second, isnt there something amazing about a 50 round standard clip of armor piercing rounds?"
aims P-90 at ground around TToL and fires a short burst into the ground around his legs.
The P-90 is poo. Can I go now?

"whatever," fires a burst into TToL's legs

"I forgot to mention, they are ambidextrous, so I could fire two at once with no problems, but a flame thrower is more fun."

Points flamethrower at TToL *cackles*

*Puts a marshmallow on a stick, and ambles over to Tribes*

Greetings all!

Hulloo!
*starts watching a porno, wishes peech were here*

This place still exists? :eek:

Yea I had to search for it, the last post was at 12:00 or something around that before I brought it back, so it was on like page 4.

NoF is using a flamethrower... *twitches* *throws incinedary grenades*

*slays peasants*
Aaaah

*burninates LP* *evil laugh o' doom! (C)"

*burninates LP* *evil laugh o' doom! (C)"
*films the whole thing*
"OK, Mon, now rape his carcass!"
*Pokes both with blunt instrument*

*films the whole thing*
"OK, Mon, now rape his carcass!"
*Pokes both with blunt instrument*
Rape!? *burns Hades and his blunt instrument with napalm bombs*

*rapes HRM's charred carcass* :D

Suddenly the room fills with billowing flames, and behind the flames NoF steps in

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Suddenly the room fills with billowing flames, and behind the flames NoF steps in

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
You aren't allowed to enter like that! Firey entrances are mine!*types in coordinates for orbital laser* *fires*

OOC:OK, fine then, I'll go with the dot entry

IC: I little red dot is seen bouncing around in front LP's face

OOC:OK, fine then, I'll go with the dot entry

IC: I little red dot is seen bouncing around in front LP's face
Errr.... Hades' nipple?

the little red dot moves to LP's arm

OOC:OK, fine then, I'll go with the dot entry

IC: I little red dot is seen bouncing around in front LP's face
OOC: Better.

the little red dot moves to LP's arm
that's HOT!

*crack*
A hole appears in LP's arm, and the dot dissapears

*crack*
A hole appears in LP's arm, and the dot dissapears
Phew......


---tune in for more homo-erotic excitement next week---

*throws lit fireworks at LP*

*throws lit fireworks at LP*
*walks in the door*

*eats firework*

I love spicy food!

*nuts the wall, dribbles slightly*

*walks in the door*

*eats firework*

I love spicy food!

*nuts the wall, dribbles slightly*
*Runs screaming*

*Runs screaming*
*chases in small fighter plane*

I'll lash ye from my fokker!

*chases in small fighter plane*

I'll lash ye from my fokker!
Halt knave, lest I cleft ye in twain! *brandishes Fire Sword + 2*

Halt knave, lest I cleft ye in twain! *brandishes Fire Sword + 2*
OOC: Just out of interest, what game are these figures from? It sounds a bit D&D to me, but I've only ever played games using the D&D technique e.g. KOTOR. So I'd have to say something like duel wield sabers +12 +10 respectively

OOC: Just out of interest, what game are these figures from? It sounds a bit D&D to me, but I've only ever played games using the D&D technique e.g. KOTOR. So I'd have to say something like duel wield sabers +12 +10 respectively
OOC: T'was D&D.
IC: Now halt, lest I cleft ye in twain! *brandishes Fire Sword + 2 again*

OOC: T'was D&D.
IC: Now halt, lest I cleft ye in twain! *brandishes Fire Sword + 2 again*
shag

*brandishes nuclear grenade...+4 blowy-uppiness*

*brandishes mobile phone of radiation + 666 radioactivity*
MELT! *evil laugh o' doom!(c)*

*brandishes mobile phone of radiation + 666 radioactivity*
MELT! *evil laugh o' doom!(c)*
*produces mobile phone mast, +999 brain-frying*

AH HA, AH HA, AH...aren't these weapons going to damage the user as well?

*raised eyebrow. +4 quizicalness*

*produces mobile phone mast, +999 brain-frying*

AH HA, AH HA, AH...aren't these weapons going to damage the user as well?

*raised eyebrow. +4 quizicalness*

Enough of yo jibba-jabba foo!
*brings out the BIG GUN(tm)!+10^999999 uber-osity*
Bwa ha ha ha... *cough*

Enough of yo jibba-jabba foo!
*brings out the BIG GUN(tm)!+10^999999 uber-osity*
Bwa ha ha ha... *cough*
*has unleashed irritating gas of doom, +∞ coughing fit of wimpiness*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! *cough*

*bang*

*whimper*

*has unleashed irritating gas of doom, +∞ coughing fit of wimpiness*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! *cough*

*bang*

*whimper*
*is wearing biohazard suit* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *falls over inexplicably* *lands on the "nuke the place!!!!1!!" button*

*is wearing biohazard suit* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *falls over inexplicably* *lands on the "nuke the place!!!!1!!" button*
Tch. Dumbass.

*goes into orbit with bevvy of blonde slave girls just ready for bondage fun in zero-gee*

Tch. Dumbass.

*goes into orbit with bevvy of blonde slave girls just ready for bondage fun in zero-gee*
*rolls over* *lands on the "Cancel n00kage!!1!!1!!" button*

*in temporal pocket of holding*

That's the most fun I've seen in years.
*wipes tear from eye*

*rolls over* *lands on the "Cancel n00kage!!1!!1!!" button*
*stays in orbit*

*radio's down*

*crackle*Don't contact me t*crackle*oon, I'm having lots of b*crackle*s*crackle* with *crackle crackle* END TRANSMISSION...

*in temporal pocket of holding*

That's the most fun I've seen in years.
*wipes tear from eye*
If you were male, that would be one of the most worrying statements I've seen on here... :eek:

If you were male, that would be one of the most worrying statements I've seen on here... :eek:
;)

;)
*eyebrows do a small Riverdance, followed by some light ballroom and a little Jazz/tap*

*eyebrows do a small Riverdance, followed by some light ballroom and a little Jazz/tap*
Now does that little trick fall under dexterity... charisma... ?

*realises the place isn't going to be n00ked!!!1!1!!!!111!!!*
*eats sandwich, plays solitare*

Now does that little trick fall under dexterity... charisma... ?
I believe you need +2 dexterity, +3 intelligence, +8 charisma and +255 hot tribesness :fluffle: :D

I believe you need +2 dexterity, +3 intelligence, +8 charisma and +255 hot tribesness :fluffle: :D

Mmmm, that you are! :fluffle:

Did anyone say "dexterity" ?

Mmmm, that you are! :fluffle:
*works magic*

*works magic*

*dishevelled*
Whoa, that magic packs a powerful punch

*eyes glaze over*
Damn worshipers!!!

*blows a kiss*
We'll have to pick this up later!
*disappears*

ooc: yay work is done. see you all in a while :)

By TCG! :(

By TCG! :(
You forgot the E (http://pbskids.org/sesame/coloring/images/e_elmo.gif)

You forgot the E (http://pbskids.org/sesame/coloring/images/e_elmo.gif)
OH NOES!

My sister says I look like elmo - is this good or bad?

OH NOES!

My sister says I look like elmo - is this good or bad?
Depends...... what colour are you?

Depends...... what colour are you?
Bright red and hairy. :p

Bright red and hairy. :p
And what happens when someone tickles you?

And what happens when someone tickles you?
My eyebrows do this:

*eyebrows leap off face onto LP and attack, sceraming "We sang Bohemian Rhapsody for you! AAAAAH! Get off tribes, he is our leader!!!"*

My eyebrows do this:

*eyebrows leap off face onto LP and attack, sceraming "We sang Bohemian Rhapsody for you! AAAAAH! Get off tribes, he is our leader!!!"*
Hmm... and here I thought youd turn into a giant one eyed yogurt slinger... hmm... go figure... :p

My eyebrows do this:

*eyebrows leap off face onto LP and attack, sceraming "We sang Bohemian Rhapsody for you! AAAAAH! Get off tribes, he is our leader!!!"*
AAAAAAH!

*shaves the eyebrows and laughs at Tribes who looks silly*

AAAAAAH!

*shaves the eyebrows and laughs at Tribes who looks silly*
NOOOOOO! My poor pet eyebrows! You'll pay for that!

*lunges*

*grapples*

*eyebrow remnants in the background turn to liquid metal and reform a la T2*

*eyebrows lunge into the fray*

Hmm... and here I thought youd turn into a giant one eyed yogurt slinger... hmm... go figure... :p
That's not tickling, per se... ;)

*flips out his wallet*

5 bucks?

*flips out his wallet*

5 bucks?
'tis OK, just pay me in slave credit as usual - 5 slaves per dollar.

The usual stunning boy toys? Or are you gonna go for something different?

The usual stunning boy toys? Or are you gonna go for something different?
I'm going to go for the female types, ta v. much :p

I'm going to go for the female types, ta v. much :p
*shrugs*
Suit yourself.

*returns with 25 hot slavettes*
They all were virgins

*comes waddling in with a big club and wearing only the skin of a servant*

OOOGA BOOOGA

*shrugs*
Suit yourself.

*returns with 25 hot slavettes*
They all were virgins
Пираты Legless почти вывешивали больше времен чем я имел горячие обеды - как раз 2 тысячи сверхсчетной пойти!

I have no idea why I wrote that. Thanks for the soon-to-be-non-virginal-slavettes though!

Пираты Legless почти вывешивали больше времен чем я имел горячие обеды - как раз 2 тысячи сверхсчетной пойти!

I have no idea why I wrote that. Thanks for the soon-to-be-non-virginal-slavettes though!
Forget the soon-to-be...... I said "they were"

*cough*translate*cough*

Forget the soon-to-be...... I said "they were"

*cough*translate*cough*
I think it says (in awful grammar - I used babel fish):

Soon Legless Pirates will have had more posts than I've had hot dinners!

I think it says (in awful grammar - I used babel fish):

Soon Legless Pirates will have had more posts than I've had hot dinners!
But I'm still way short of your masturbation count......

WOOGA WOOGA WANTS BIGGGA BOOOGA!!!!!!

*slams his club against a table splitting it in two*

WOOGA WOOGA WANTS BIGGGA BOOOGA!!!!!!

*slams his club against a table splitting it in two*
*gives Planners a book*

:confused:

But I'm still way short of your masturbation count......
...and forever shall be....

*gives Planners a book*

:confused:

YABBA DABBA DOO!!

*sits down on the floor and starts laughing at the funny pictures in the book*

I can keep up with one post every 30 seconds....... can you? :eek:

WOOGA WOOGA WANTS BIGGGA BOOOGA!!!!!!

*slams his club against a table splitting it in two*
*looks at native in patronising English way*

DO - YOU - SPEAK - ENGLISH?

FETCH - ME - A - CUP - OF - TEA - YOU - APE!

*hits with elephant gun*

Yeah. We looked down on everyone when we were a-conquerin' :(

*looks at native in patronising English way*

DO - YOU - SPEAK - ENGLISH?

FETCH - ME - A - CUP - OF - TEA - YOU - APE!

*hits with elephant gun*

Yeah. We looked down on everyone when we were a-conquerin' :(

TEA?

Takes CG's special spauce and slobbers it over his hand and starts hitting TRIBES*

TEA! TEA! TEA!

TEA?

Takes CG's special spauce and slobbers it over his hand and starts hitting TRIBES*

TEA! TEA! TEA!
HEY! BAD PLANNERS!

*takes the phonebook away from him*

TEA?

Takes CG's special spauce and slobbers it over his hand and starts slapping TRIBES*

TEA! TEA! TEA!
*shoots planners in the foot with elephant gun*

NO - YOU - STUPID - BASTARD - I - SAID - TEA!

*signals drinking action with hands, points to pot of tea on the veranda*

GET - IT - YOU - TWERP - OR - BANG - STICK - GO - BOOM - AGAIN

*frantic hand signals*

*shoots planners in the foot with elephant gun*

NO - YOU - STUPID - BASTARD - I - SAID - TEA!

*signals drinking action with hands, points to pot of tea on the veranda*

GET - IT - YOU - TWERP - OR - BANG - STICK - GO - BOOM - AGAIN

*frantic hand signals*

AAAA BIg'a stick go BOOM! BOOM!

Hopping on one foot clock's TrIBes over the head and bonks LP On the head as well.

BIG BOOGAAAA!!!!!!

Stuff's the phone book in his pants, and hobbles over to the tea, and dumps it down his pants as well.

AAAA BIg'a stick go BOOM! BOOM!

Hopping on one foot clock's TrIBes over the head and bonks LP On the head as well.

BIG BOOGAAAA!!!!!!

Stuff's the phone book in his pants, and hobbles over to the tea, and dumps it down his pants as well.
*sigh*

Okay. That's enough excitement for you today.

*locks Planners in the padded room again*

*sigh*

Okay. That's enough excitement for you today.

*locks Planners in the padded room again*

*gibbers*

*sigh*

Okay. That's enough excitement for you today.

*locks Planners in the padded room again*
*runs up to the room, bleary eyed and upset*

Planners, wait! Wait!

*LP opens the door slightly, Planners looks out sadly*

*spits*

Sorry, I had to have a Family Guy deferred reference there. :p

EDIT: *gibbers*
Oi! That's my job!

*appears from temporal pocket*

:mad:
Of all the insufferable, ignorant... RUDE!...

*blasts a few chairs*

*appears from temporal pocket*

:mad:
Of all the insufferable, ignorant... RUDE!...

*blasts a few chairs*
Oh, Goddess...what's up?

*worships the Goddess by licking her Chocolate feet*

Oh, Goddess...what's up?
*turns to you, eyes blazing*

*feeling LP's licks*
*struggle*
LOL That tickles!

*turns to you, eyes blazing*

*feeling LP's licks*
*struggle*
LOL That tickles!
It was done in goo....

OK, so I can't bring myself to say 'good taste', but it was a family guy reference - this cannot be bad. Right? right?

*prepares sacrificial stone*

*turns to you, eyes blazing*

*feeling LP's licks*
*struggle*
LOL That tickles!
*licks higher*
Better?

It was done in goo....

OK, so I can't bring myself to say 'good taste', but it was a family guy reference - this cannot be bad. Right? right?

*prepares sacrificial stone*

*looks at stone*
*a slave appears on top and WHAM!*

Now I feel a whole lot better
* :) while cleaning her battleaxe*

*looks at stone*
*a slave appears on top and WHAM!*

Now I feel a whole lot better
* :) while cleaning her battleaxe*
Why do I have an urge to add a mother-in-law joke at the end of that? I hate M-I-L jokes. :)

*licks higher*
Better?

Mmmm

*lets go of weapon*

*grabs LP*
Now for some sport
*teleports both into mirrored chamber with secret sauce cauldron*

Mmmm

*lets go of weapon*

*grabs LP*
Now for some sport
*teleports both into mirrored chamber with secret sauce cauldron*
Sport, eh? What are we gonna do? Gymnastics?

Богина шоколада звучает реально sexy на русском языке. Then again, он звучает sexy полный стоп :D

Sport, eh? What are we gonna do? Gymnastics?

ooc: I was going to say something sooooo nasty... and I'm really not like that... at first

*parallel bars appear*
Never tried those before
*sweet :) *

ooc: I was going to say something sooooo nasty... and I'm really not like that... at first

*parallel bars appear*
Never tried those before
*sweet :) *
Awwww. Say it. Say it you dirty girl

*takes hold of the high bar*

*left alone in the castle, TToL is at a loss*

redashet s

*and apparently has gone insane*

Awwww. Say it. Say it you dirty girl

*takes hold of the high bar*

*does some looping between the bars*

could be offensive... I'm not the only voyeur in this universe

*slams into LP - both topple on a pile of pillows, cocoa powder everywhere*

*does some looping between the bars*

could be offensive... I'm not the only voyeur in this universe

*slams into LP - both topple on a pile of pillows, cocoa powder everywhere*
Errrr...... You can let go of the "bar" now.....Well. Just not squeeze it so hard

Errrr...... You can let go of the "bar" now.....Well. Just not squeeze it so hard

*softens grip*
Some chocolate, maybe? Do you like the ones filled with liqueur?

Hello? anyone home?

Hello? anyone home?
*appears with battleaxe*
*flashing eyes*

First I get interrupted by some worshipper with nothing better to do than counting cocoala bears; then, in the middle of my sporting, I am left hanging...

*grips her weapon forcefully*

*takes a quick step back*

Whoa, is something wrong, Divine?

*takes a quick step back*

Whoa, is something wrong, Divine?

:eek:
*lower lip trembles*
*eyes water*

Whuaaaaaaaaaaa
*sobs uncontrollably*

:eek:
*lower lip trembles*
*eyes water*

Whuaaaaaaaaaaa
*sobs uncontrollably*
Aww, my bad; I did not mean to hurt your feelings..

*huggles Divine* :fluffle:

Aww, my bad; I did not mean to hurt your feelings..

*huggles Divine* :fluffle:
*continues sobbing*

My... wor...ship...pers *sniffles* don't... res... pect... me.

*sobs louder*

*continues sobbing*

My... wor...ship...pers *sniffles* don't... res... pect... me.

*sobs louder*
There, there, lovely Divine; I respect you :)

*huggles her some more*

OOC: be back in a bit. gonna have dinner now.

There, there, lovely Divine; I respect you :)

*huggles her some more*

*pulls back*
You have power. Do people call on you for... stuff?
*sniffles*

*pulls back*
You have power. Do people call on you for... stuff?
*sniffles*
It depends on what you mean by that...

It depends on what you mean by that...

If you have to ask, then I'm sure they don't.

Stop the rain, bring the rain, douse the forest fires, I lost my house, I love the neighbour's dog, I want forgiveness, I want more money, I want to be popular...

*starts to sob again*
They... call... me.... like... some... genie... in...a....bo...t....t...t..le
*redoubles sobs*

If you have to ask, then I'm sure they don't.

Stop the rain, bring the rain, douse the forest fires, I lost my house, I love the neighbour's dog, I want forgiveness, I want more money, I want to be popular...

*starts to sob again*
They... call... me.... like... some... genie... in...a....bo...t....t...t..le
*redoubles sobs*
Oh, that. yeah, that happens to me once in a while...

*hugs Divine*
Things should be better soon... :(

:fluffle:

Oh, that. yeah, that happens to me once in a while...

*hugs Divine*
Things should be better soon... :(

:fluffle:

I think if Occy or any of the others saw me, they'd strip me of my titles and run me out... or worse...
*eyes go wide*
*sharp intake of breathe*

I think if Occy or any of the others saw me, they'd strip me of my titles and run me out... or worse...
*eyes go wide*
*sharp intake of breathe*
Why? What happened?

Why? What happened?

*wipes tears hastily*
Am I all flushed? I can't be seen like this!

*wipes tears hastily*
Am I all flushed? I can't be seen like this!
You're not allowed to be seen weeping?! :(

That sucks.

*helps her wipe away the tears*