NationStates Jolt Archive

America, land of the free!

We so totally are. It's not even funny.









As long as you're not poor or black.

In what other country do you see even poor people, every day making ends meet by standing on the side of the offramp of Interstate-250 peddling for money?

I swear, it's like there's a different person each day, and they all work 4-5 hour shifts and pool their money.

It's a freakin' conspiracy.

...and we are over 1,000 posts!

Party!!!

...and we are over 1,000 posts!

Party!!!

*Waves around a little banner saying "1,000, whoop-de-friggin'-do"*

*football...soccer...football...soccer...football...soccer...football...soccer...fotball...soccer... football...soccer...football*

No-one doing tables?
[code:1:4faedcaae0]
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Quohog 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Oglethorpia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 3
_AMP 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0

Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Total N Utter Insanity 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Malundar 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
The Belmore Family 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0

Group C
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Ironchefk 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Svecia 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Kingsford 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0

Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Lunatic Goofballs 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
One Red Dot 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Copiosa Scotia 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0

Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Brazillico 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Dark Outcasts 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Runaway Moose 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Dannland 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Chakra 1 1 0 0 2 0 +2 3
Dennisov 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Bedistan 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Ariddia 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0

Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Akbarland 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Europa Brittania 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Errinundera 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 1

Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Spaam 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Lemmitania 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Cobra Cult 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Audioslavia 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0
[/code:1:4faedcaae0]
Hope they are right.

No-one doing tables?
[code:1:01fe172ca4]
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Quohog 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Oglethorpia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 3
_AMP 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0
[/code:1:01fe172ca4]


Man, why couldn't Squorn and Quohog actually beat each other? Now that leaves me third and resting on a really, really tough game which i'll probably lose against Squornshelous.

No-one doing tables?

Meh, I knew I was forgetting something...I've done them, I just haven't posted them ;)

Here are the results including the 2nd match results posted so far (plus my own, which I haven't RPed yet):

First Round Standings After 1.5 Games

[code:1:b38cfd9bc5]GROUP A P W D L F A GD Pts
Squornshelous (5) 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Oglethorpia (13) 2 1 0 1 4 1 +3 3
Quohog (25) 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
_AMP (100) 2 0 0 2 0 8 -8 0

GROUP B P W D L F A GD Pts
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Snub Nose 38 (20) 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
The Belmore Family (47) 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Malundar (100) 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0

GROUP C P W D L F A GD Pts
Ironchefk (9) 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Svecia (2) 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Kingsford (51) 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0

GROUP D P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung (8) 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
One Red Dot (30) 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Copiosa Scotia (50) 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0

GROUP E P W D L F A GD Pts
Brazillico (1) 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Dark Outcasts (42) 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Runaway Moose (12) 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Dannland (100) 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

GROUP F P W D L F A GD Pts
Chakra (70) 1 1 0 0 2 0 +2 3
Dennisov (14) 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Bedistan (27) 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
Ariddia (6) 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1

GROUP G P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates (49) 2 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Akbarland (100) 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Europa Britannia (4) 2 0 1 1 4 5 -1 1
Errinundera (17) 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

GROUP H P W D L F A GD Pts
Lemmitania (3) 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
Spaam (14) 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Audioslavia (40) 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 1
Cobra Cult (100) 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0[/code:1:b38cfd9bc5]

And congratulations to Halfassedstates for making it to the second round already!

Why is akbarland ahead of brittania :?

Goal difference -- 0 is better than -1. That could, of course, change when Akbarland's match result is posted.

Why is akbarland ahead of brittania :?

If you mean in mine then it is because of alphabetical order.

Also first one to spot all of Beds mistakes wins a prize! (btw there are 3)

Also first one to spot all of Beds mistakes wins a prize! (btw there are 3)

I can usually find my own errors, but apart from Quohog and Oglethorpia being reversed (fixed now), I can't find any more. :?

While I'm here, let's have a quick look at yours. :twisted:

[code:1:67be891a45]Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Quohog 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Oglethorpia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 3
_AMP 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0[/code:1:67be891a45]

Oglethorpia: 3 points for a loss?

[code:1:67be891a45]Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Akbarland 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Europa Brittania 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Errinundera 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 1[/code:1:67be891a45]

Errinundera: 1 point for a loss?

There may be others; this was just a quick run-through.

Bedistan 3 TnUI 2

*goes off to make more mistakes next time*

While I'm here, let's have a quick look at yours. :twisted:

Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Quohog 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Oglethorpia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 3
_AMP 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0[/code:1:ab4a0e1db2]


Oglethorpia: 3 points for a loss?

There may be others; this was just a quick run-through.

I lost against Quhog but beat _AMP. Idiot TnUI forgot to update the games-played statistic.

While I'm here, let's have a quick look at yours. :twisted:

Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Quohog 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Oglethorpia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 3
_AMP 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0[/code:1:dafdb3bd16]


Oglethorpia: 3 points for a loss?

There may be others; this was just a quick run-through.

I lost against Quhog but beat _AMP. Idiot TnUI forgot to update the games-played statistic.

Not to mention the wins, losses, goals for, goals against, and goal difference. By my count, that's a total of nine errors in that group alone.

TnUI 10 Bedistan 3* :P
* not yet verified

1,000 posts, but still only One Red Dot. And that's where we pick up the action. Like most teams in World Cup competition, One Red Dot has never defeated Tanah Burung. But they are a dangerous team, and Bi Kikere is putting the emphasis on defence today. Defender Alex David, in a desperate bid for attention, has died his dreadlocks green, painted his face in the colours of the national flag, entwined Christmas tree lights into his hair, and is wearing a large sign with the words "look at me, i'm the assistant captain!" Still, the local press has managed to spell his name wrong.

It's striker David Cavaco who grabs the spotlight, appearing on Good Morning Lemmington with his new oatmeal recipe, smiling on the front page of the University of Lemmington Weekly Lem-Standard, reading to children in the low-income Har-Lem neighbourhood. It's Cavaco who glimmers in thw shadows of Lemmington Stadium, flitting upfield, going for goals.

Only Keinaka's heriocs in the One Red Net keep him off the scoreboard. Him, and all the other Crocodiles. Alex David's sole satisfaction is that the defence he leads thwarts all One Red Attacks and keeps the score at 0-0.

A brief moment of respect, heads bowed, for the unstoried defenders, the ones who keep the goals out.

Final score:
Tanah Burung 0 One Red Dot 0

[code:1:7bc05e0866]
Group D P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Tanah Burung 2 1 1 0 2 1 +1 4
One Red Dot 2 0 2 0 1 1 0 2
Lunatic Goofballs 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Copiosa Scotia 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
[/code:1:7bc05e0866]

While I'm here, let's have a quick look at yours. :twisted:

Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Quohog 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Oglethorpia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 3
_AMP 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0[/code:1:9a2a8fe316]


Oglethorpia: 3 points for a loss?

There may be others; this was just a quick run-through.

I lost against Quhog but beat _AMP. Idiot TnUI forgot to update the games-played statistic.

Not to mention the wins, losses, goals for, goals against, and goal difference. By my count, that's a total of nine errors in that group alone.


Bedistan, you ought to be the OFFICIAL WORLD CUP TABLEMAKER!

Since TnUI tends to, oh, mess all of it up.

Errinundera 4 Akbarland 0

[code:1:91ff279929]Halfassedstates 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Errinundera 1 0 1 5 3 +2 3
Europa Brittania 0 1 1 4 5 -1 1
Akbarland 0 1 1 3 7 -4 1[/code:1:91ff279929]

Halfassedstates have made the final 16.

If we win against EB we proceed to the final 16.

If we draw against EB we will probably proceed to the final 16 as it is unlikely Akabarland could make up a 6 goal difference.

If we lose to EB they will proceed to the final 16.

Bedistan 3 TnUI 2

*goes off to make more mistakes next time*

LMAO. You can try that one but it probably won't work.

One Red Dot draws TB in Goaless Match

I am Stan Inn and this is the One Red Dot Sports Update. In what was potentially supposed to be an exciting match between strong defensive One Red Dot and 8-seed WC Giant Tanah Burung ended up with no action and no goals. It was no value for money for the crowd that supported both nations.

With me now is Head Coach of ORD's National Team, Alvin Ker. Alvin, the team has, like the previous two World Cups, entered the Group stage and this is no surprise. But this time with World Cup giants Tanah Burung and Lunatic Goofballs. Do you think that the the team would make its already familiar exit at this stage?

AK: It has been a rough ride ever since we hit the World Cup Group stages. It is an all too familiar scene that we always struggle here. But I can see improvement. In WC4, we had 1 draw and 2 losses and in WC5 with Total and Utter Insanity and the already eliminated Giant Zucchini we hit out with 3 losses, but with small goal margins.

Now in WC6, we have dished out 2 draws against the higher seeded teams and we are still awating the score with Lunatic Goofballs against Copiosa Scotia. Lets look at the scoreboard:

[code:1:c790d8cd59]
Group D P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Tanah Burung 2 1 1 0 2 1 +1 4
One Red Dot 2 0 2 0 1 1 0 2
Lunatic Goofballs 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Copiosa Scotia 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
[/code:1:c790d8cd59]

I expect a win for LG and when that happens, we have to defeat Scotia to make it to the top 2.

However, if LG slips and does a goaless draw with unseeded Scotia, then we must defeat Scotia or draw them but with at least 1 goal.
If LG produces a draw with goals, then we must score the same, or more as them. If LG v CS is 1-1 then we must score 1-1 or more. If LG v CS is 2-2 then we must score 2-2 or more and so on.

If Lady Luck decides to smile on Copiosa Scotia, then we must defeat them to proceed on.

It is quite tough for us as 2 draws puts us in a very difficult position.

SI: Yes, I see. Looks like the win is the only way. It will be a real pity if we drop out here again because you and the team has done so well in the qualifying stage with an amazing 9 out of 14 wins. Still, a draw against Tanah Burung is amazing.

This has been the One Red Dot Sports Update. Good Night.

Also first one to spot all of Beds mistakes wins a prize! (btw there are 3)

I can usually find my own errors, but apart from Quohog and Oglethorpia being reversed (fixed now), I can't find any more. :?

The only other thing would be in TnUI's group, if the teams are level on everything (pts, GD, GS etc.) its normally the first team alphabetically that goes on top, rather than the highest seeds as you have done it. -Hardly matters though, especially as the next game will prob, separate them all :)

News item from the The McKillops Bridge New Statesman:

http://www.newstatesman.com/graphics/ns/images/head_logo.gif

SUPERSTARS HEAVED

(Row of photos of antarcticad, sandrab, longipesp, regnanse & nitense. In heavy letters the word DUMPED is superimposed diagonally across each photo.)

firset hat-trick as drastic measures bring immediate results

In an uprecedented act of fury Errinundera's national football coach ignored reputations and dropped the depa rave ringleaders from the team to play Akbarland. At a press conference before the match fionar bitterly attacked the irresponsibility of senior players. "Getting stoned is great. We all love doing it. But we are here to play football. Not to have fun. Sure, at the end of the World Cup, take a holiday. Totally blow your brain with whatever chemicals you like. But right now these guys are paid to win games. And if they have other plans then they can join oreadest on the scrap heap."

The dumped players included star strikers antarcticad and longipesp, and vice-captain and WC5 leighm medallist sandrab. This time sandrab was thoroughly contrite. "The after-effects of the depa cocktail were sheer hell. And the motel that fionar booked us into was as bad as anything in Quohog." longipesp was equally apologetic. "That customs official doesn't seem half so scary now. fionar was threatening to pull toenails out."

An inexperienced Errinundrian team lined up against World Cup newcomers Akbarland and then promptly proceeded to demolish them. The final 4-nil scoreline suggests that some of the dumped players' reputations may have exceeded than their ability. firset made history by becoming the first Errinundrian to score a hat-trick at international level. He remained mystified after the game. "I'd always imagined that antarcticad would be the first to do it. He is our most skillful and exciting forward. Or even longipesp. She's been threatening to do this sort of thing from the start of qualifying." At the press conference fionar was full of praise for the young man. "He lacks the skill of either antarcticad or longipesp. But he makes up for it with amazing enthusiasm and commitment. He is a lesson to the other players."

adealbata also took part in the goal spree with one of his own. Often overshadowed by the big names, he has put in a sterling campaign this cup and well-merited his goal. Throughout the game fionar ranted, raved, screamed, spat, cursed, glared, argued and bullied from the goalmouth to great effect, imtimidating Errinundrians and Akbarlanders alike. And former "hockeypot" handesydec was at her clever and reliable best.

We wondered if the famous faces of anarcticad, sandrab and othes had been shading better but more obscure players. Controversial sports commentator, spouth, disagreed. "Really, the Akbarland side was pathetic. It doesn't deserve to be in the world cup. The Erriundrian line-up you saw today wouldn't cut it against a real side like Europa Britannia. You watch, some of the big names will be back for the big match."

Errinundera 4 Akbarland 0 (firset 10, 25, 68 adealbata 49)

And now due to the overrun of the tennis, we belatedly take you to 'Game of the Day' for highlights of to-days match between Halfassedstates and Europa Britania.

Theme music cuts to a grinning Gary Luniker and Alan Hansun-
GL: Hello folks, we're glad you could stay up and join us for to-days highlights - we'll take you straight to the action as we don't have much time.
*insert highlights here*
GL: Quite a result Alan.

AH: Yes Gary, a great performance all round, even the EB side, who really made a game of it.

GL: Did you ever doubt they would?

AH: Well after the early howler by the keeper to gift Paisley the first goal, I thought back to the last game and began to wonder about these Depa gas rumours - you know how it is!

GL: Yeah whatever. Malcolm had a tremendous performance in the Halfassed goal.

AH: Yep, he has improved greatly since the last WC and those howlers against Audioslavia. The fans have really started to support him now!

GL: No wonder two 1-on-1 stops and the fingertip stop from Urk. It could have been all over by half-time, yet somehow we went in a goal up.

AH: That was very important, as i think EB would have stormed the 2nd half if they had managed to go in level, as it was Wallace once again showed his pace on the counter to put Halfassed 2 up after 67 mins.

GL: Almost a trademark goal for Wallace now, but EB stepped up the pressure even more, and were rewarded with a stunning goal from Urk after 79min.

AH: Yep, a great diving header at the far post, but i think the defence has to hold its hand up for the mistake - they all just looked at each other and left him completely free!

GL: At least they didn't do it again! And we've made it to the last 16 :!:

And congratulations to Halfassedstates for making it to the second round already! OCC: cheers :D

Currently ranking last in their group, Ariddia are preparing for their next match, against Bedistan. A defeat would mean the team going home from this Cup early...

The following players have been selected for this crucial match:

GK: David al-Jibai (11)
DEF: Jean Cerf (4), John Ness (13), Yves Sylvain (9), Abel ‘Bloc’ Lenoir (21)
MID: Ranjit Khan (7, capt), Andrei Karel (15), Mikael Nyevich (19), Deter Reeds (18 )
ATT: Myn Terrell (3), Kim Kim (10)

* we see the beautiful lemmitanian countryside from above. the sky is clear, except for a few fluffy white clouds. we hear a strange “whirring” noise that we cannot identify. slowly we move down, and in, until we see that the “whirring” is coming from…100 tricycles being pedaled along the lemmitanian version of a “highway”. it’s the snub nose 38 hooligans (players, coaches, equipment, pointless-hangers-on) pedaling their way from “horseshoe” stadium at lemmington national university back to their hotel in lemumbus. behind the 100 tricycles carrying the team come about 25 beat-up old bicycles trying to keep up. the bike riders are wearing flak jackets, matching uniforms, and the remains of vegetables. it’s the snub nose 38 hooligan cheerleaders! behind the cheerleaders we see another group of cyclers pedaling madly along and, from time to time, throwing more vegetables at the cheerleaders. and, behind them, several slightly over-weight pedalers, panting and puffing along and not quite able to keep up – the aspn news crew. we pan back to the snub nose 38 hooligan national side, and close in on ben and eileen dover, each sitting in the back of a rickshaw-like tricycle. ben has a beer (a “38 Special", we can see by the lable). eileen has some sort of mixed drink, with a little paper parasol sticking out of it.*

- No, I think the prettiest goal was the one Malundar scored in the 32nd minute. A diving header from 8 yards out, behind the defense, off a picture perfect corner kick.
- Spikes free kick from 32 yards out, through the wall and bending just inside the post, was nicer.
- Eileen, you have to give the Maludaran striker his due…
- Spike tied the game with his. 44th minute, and he made it a new game, one to one.
- That’s true, but has nothing to do with the comparative esthetic value of any of the goals.
- It’s a question of both point-of-view and “in the moment”, Ben. Take the second Malundaran goal, for example. We’re in a tied match, 1 – 1, it’s the 53rd minute, and Malundar scores with that pretty give-and-go stuff ending in a shot from 15 yards out. From Malundar’s point of view in that moment, it’s absolutely gorgeous – and puts them up 2 to 1. From out point of view in that moment, it’s a nice goal, but since it put us behind 1 to 2 – not so gorgeous as…
- As the goal we scored 5 minutes later to tie it back up 2 to 2, when Nails took the ball from the Malundaran defense and slipped it into the net.
- Exactly, Ben. And for Malundar, that goal was not a thing of beauty – it was a pain in the a__.
- Well, what about the winning goal?
- You mean, from an esthetic view point?
- Yeah. It was a penalty kick – what are the esthetics of that?
- Well – in itself, it was pretty. The striker stepped up to the ball, and it looked to me like he faked the keeper with his eyes. He looked right, the keeper dived to the right, and the striker slammed the ball left just inside the post.
- Ok, but what about point of view?
- For the Hooligans – gorgeous – it gave us a 3 to 2 lead in the 89th minute. For Malundar, not a happy moment. And so, not as pretty a goal.
- Well, they almost tied it back up again in the 2nd minute of added time.
- Almost, as they say, only counts in horseshoes. It was a nice tackle, it was a nice pass, it was a nice shot…but it was also a nice save. It left the score to stand at the end of the match MALUNDAR 2 – SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 3, and that was not pretty for Malundar.

* ben and eileen fall silent. after a moment we realize we can hear the hooligan cheerleaders, who are screaming,*

“Snub Nose – YEAH!! It’s our day!!
Hooligans rock the way they play!!
Malundar, Ya Won’t Go Far
In Lemmitania without no car
Malun…”

* we hear screeches and crashing sounds. We look back, and see that fans from malundar, as well as hooligan fans and lemmitanian passersby, have crashed their bikes into the cheerleaders, causing a huge bicycle pile-up. the malundarians, snub nose 38ians, and lemmings are pummeling the cheerleaders, who are trying to escape. as we round a corner, the last thing we see is the lemmitanian constabulary arriving in numbers.*

First Round Standings After 2 Games

[code:1:6b8cd319a8]GROUP B P W D L F A GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 (20) 2 2 0 0 5 3 +2 6
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 2 2 0 0 4 2 +2 6
Malundar (100) 2 0 0 2 3 5 -2 0
The Belmore Family (47) 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0[/code:1:6b8cd319a8]


GROUP B Update. Score of 2nd Matchday TnUI vs TBF has been reported.
TnUI: Thanks, and congratulations on moving on to the round of 16

This should go in the WC7 thread, but seeing as my harddrive was recently reformatted and I no longer have my bookmarks, and I'm too lazy to go looking for it, I'm just gonna post here.

Using the formula I've been playing with, I've done up a spreadsheet to run off scores in 1000-match bunches. Here are some samples (records are W-D-L for the home team):

Brazillico - Ziotah: 838-180-54
Avg GF: BZ 3.94, Ziotah .701

Brazillico - Lemmitana: 512-278-282
Avg GF: BZ 2.92, Lem 2.01

rematch:

Brazillico - Lemmitania: 521-285-266
Avg GF: BZ 2.84, Lem 1.93

Seems to be quite consistent. However, maybe those numbers need a little tweaking. :wink:

Lemmitania - Brazillico: 289-292-491
Avg GF: Lem 1.99, BZ 2.76

Here is how BZ did against the rest of the top ten: (records are Brazillico's record, BZ's average GF, and BZ's average GA)

[code:1:0772a5801e]
Team W D L GF GA
Svecia 536 303 233 3.02 1.91
EB 533 274 265 3.07 2.07
Squorn 378 340 354 2.12 1.95
Ariddia 779 174 119 4.95 1.89
TnUI 261 383 428 1.36 1.91
Tanah B 288 376 408 1.49 1.82
Ironchefk 742 194 136 4.90 1.72
Giant Zuc 241 391 440 1.31 1.90
[/code:1:0772a5801e]

This takes into account the relative offensive and defensive capabilities of each team, plus give BZ an advantage for playing at home. Here are some other random matchups:

Svecia (2) - Giant Zucchini(10) 201-326-545 1.34,2.524
TnUI(7) - Giant Zucchini(10) 329-384-359 1.38,1.44
TnUI(7) - The Belmore Family(47) 863-151-58 4.76,1.07
Pure Evil(22) - The Belmore Family(47) 502-228-342 4.24,3.53
Pure Evil(22) - Lunatic Goofballs(11) 300-217-555 3.25,4.49

So, there's still some tweaking to do, but i'm interested in hearing thoughts at this point. Does the w-d-l spread featuring BZ at home agains tthe top 10 sound reasonable? Take a look at Bedistan's table showing total records and GF/GA (http://members.aol.com/harleyt1387/GoalAnalysis.doc) if you want to see what each of these teams' all-time records are.

I'll probably get around to posting the second half at some point, then again, I might not. My computer seems to be giving me a little bit of trouble, I'll just show it who's boss. (Raises sledgehammer, then presses submit, then swings in a downward direction at the computer)

First Round Standings After 2 Games

[code:1:ccac7c879c]GROUP B P W D L F A GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 (20) 2 2 0 0 5 3 +2 6
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 2 2 0 0 4 2 +2 6
Malundar (100) 2 0 0 2 3 5 -2 0
The Belmore Family (47) 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0[/code:1:ccac7c879c]


GROUP B Update. Score of 2nd Matchday TnUI vs TBF currently known

[Camera pans over stadium]

Sam: LIVE, from Lonnie Mack Stadium in Lemmadelphia, Lemmitania, THIS is first round action from World Cup Six! I am, as always, Sam Murphy, and I'm here with the one and only Joey Stanton. How are you, Joey?

Joey: I feel pretty good, but I must admit I'm rather tired.

Sam: What, you can't handle a 14-mile bike ride?

Joey: To hell with it. I'm taking the bus back to the hotel after the game. Assuming they even have buses here, that is...

Sam: You're a wuss, Joey.

Joey: And proud of it!

Sam: Anyway, we're not here to discuss how out-of-shape Joey is; we're here to discuss football, and more specifically the game that is about to take place here. We play Ariddia in this match, and an important one it is.

Joey: Yes, indeed. A loss here today would leave us with almost no chance of getting to the second round. And Ariddia seems to be in the same boat, so you can bet this will be an exciting match.

Sam: Let's find out who's playing today. First, your starting lineup for the Lions:

GK: Olivia Bream (23)
DEF: Gary Bell (9), Richard Weiss ( 18 ), Laura Johnson (19), Mike Thomas (22)
MID: Ken Sierra (1), Lisa Young (6), Gene Barber (13, capt), John Burks (14)
FWD: Johnny Lewis ( 8 ), Jeff Whitehurst (16)

Joey: Any surprises there?

Sam: Yes, there is one. Lisa Young will start at midfield today instead of Tim King. I'm assuming the only reason for this is that Young played in our first match against Ariddia four years back, while King did not.

Joey: And here's the Ariddian lineup:

GK: David al-Jibai (11)
DEF: Jean Cerf (4), John Ness (13), Yves Sylvain (9), Abel ‘Bloc’ Lenoir (21)
MID: Ranjit Khan (7, capt), Andrei Karel (15), Mikael Nyevich (19), Deter Reeds ( 18 )
ATT: Myn Terrell (3), Kim Kim (10)

Sam: Both teams using the 4-4-2. Interesting.

Joey: Now the last time these two teams faced off, the match ended in a tie...2-2 if I remember right. So this is really anyone's game.

Sam: There's the whistle, and the game is afoot!

[8th minute]

Sam: Bell with the ball...he passes to Johnson, up to Young...she sends it forward...Whitehurst has it...he takes a shot -- deflected by al-Jibai! But Young has it again, she takes a shot now and...it's...IN! Bedistan opens the scoring nine minutes into the game!

Joey: This is Lisa Young's first international appearance since World Cup 5, and she's apparently lost none of her skill, maybe even gained some -- that's her first career goal.

[23rd minute]

Sam: Ariddia with possession now. Khan in control, he sends it over to Nyevich...almost lost it, back to Sylvain, he sends it to Reeds -- he shoots...but Bream is on it and she sends the ball harmlessly away.

Joey: That could've easily been a goal for Ariddia -- keeping Olivia Bream on her toes there. Score still 1-0 Bedistan.

[41st minute]

Joey: ...and it came out to a total of þ1,764.

Sam: Holy cow, man.

Joey: Those Sonoma City cops can be pretty fierce, so don't tick 'em off. I found that out the hard way.

Sam: Whoa, wait a minute -- Kim Kim just sent one hell of a shot toward our goal and -- Bream is down! She's just lying on the grass there...I hope she's not seriously hurt...

Joey: Well, she's moving her left leg; that's a good sign.

Sam: The paramedics are heading out to the field -- I think we can safely say that Olivia Bream will be sitting out the remainder of this match. Chuck Mitchell coming on to replace her at the goal.

Joey: By the way, Kim's shot did make it into the net, so the score is now tied at one.

Sam: And there's the whistle for halftime. The score currently stands at one goal each for Bedistan and Ariddia.

Joey: We'll be back after these messages...

(OOC: I am still alive, however RL is conspiring against me and Im running behind with results. Twisting my knee and spending a good five hours in A&E did not speed the process...I hope to be up to date shortly, though once again it seems results have not gone my way...:S )

OOC: Snubby if you want to RP our match here is the squad
Subs:
[code:1:1332b330b6]
Marry

Day Lemis
Zurk Wilcox

Marks Wamdin
Samit Woor

Hill Junn
[/code:1:1332b330b6]
Subs:
Duke
Alpine
Duson
Burnit
Canny

IC: The next match TnUI vs Sunburnose 99 with a flake is just for pride and who tops the group seeing as both have already qualified for the second round.

OOC: Snubby if you want to RP our match here is the squad
Subs:
[code:1:5d784dbc3c]
Marry

Day Lemis
Zurk Wilcox

Marks Wamdin
Samit Woor

Hill Junn
[/code:1:5d784dbc3c]
Subs:
Duke
Alpine
Duson
Burnit
Canny

IC: The next match TnUI vs Sunburnose 99 with a flake is just for pride and who tops the group seeing as both have already qualified for the second round.
ASPN appreciates the kind gesture, and will be glad to broadcast coverage of the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans vs Tired n Useless Individuals. ( :wink: ) Coverage will begin sometime after the match begins, and will end at a point in time after it begins.

:lol:

*claps*

Quin: Well, that was quite a first half. Some very good ball movement on both sides, but Quohog ended up getting the goal.

Newbury: Yeah, on a no-skill, drop the ball behind the lines and hope sort of play.

Quin: You must be blind. That was a perfect pass by Singh up to Masseret, who then played the situation perfectly, and sent a bullet into the corner of the net. Drop the ball behind the line was all that you could do, but other players actually have some talent.

Newbury: Well, mark my words, it won’t happen again. That gap will be closed and Quohog will have no more chances. I’m betting that they are going to buckle down and attempt to weather the storm.

Quin: Uh oh! I must be going crazy, because I think they’ll do exactly that. Although, they’ve come out in similar circumstances still fighting. It will be interesting either way. And I do think that Squornshie will come out feeling that they have something to prove. However, if Quohog manages to match their energy early on, they have got this game.

Newbury: I don’t think they’ll be able to last. But I guess we’ll find out since the players are taking the field once again.

Quin: Both teams seem to be “a chompin at the bit and a rearing to git,” so to speak.

Newbury: So, I’ve finally witnessed it, you have gone utterly mad in front of my eyes.

Quin: No, no, it is just a line from a movie, I forget which one…

Newbury: Right, you keep thinking about that as I watch Squornshelous take over the game.

Quin: What do you mean, “take over the game?” From what I’ve seen, neither side has managed to get an advantage yet. Although, if your ability to tell what is going on in a game is as bad as your skills as a player were, I would understand how you mistook the situation.

Newbury: Oh yeah, well goalie Philibert has just had to make two saves, the second one fairly impressive, I’ll give him that. If he is so pressed just ten minutes in, then I think the balls will start slipping past him soon.

Quin: Of course, you are ignoring the fact that Quohog has sent one of the goalpost and that Squornshie’s goalie has also had to make a diving save during the same period.

Newbury: You just never give up hope, do you?

Quin: I never give up hope? You are the one who’s still supporting the Spinkwood rebels. The government has captured and re-educated about two hundred thousand of them, but you still support the twenty or so who have evaded capture and are currently believed to be living in the deepest gutter they can find. Talk about lost causes, they haven’t done any damage for ten years, but still you believe in them.

Newbury: It’s not a lost cause. I’m not the only one who believes that the Prime Minister should have killed the Queen when she stole power from him! Instead, he just takes it! And he becomes her biggest supporter!

Quin: Yeah, those re-education camps do wonders, don’t they? Anyways, the Queen has made our country what it is today. I should beat you down where you stand for talking that way.

Newbury: But you can’t, because I’m one of the elite. So sorry.

Quin: Enough of this, lets get back to the game.

Newbury: Good idea. It looks like Squornshelous has a great scoring opportunity here. A corner kick, and they’ve brought up the big players. The kick is taken…

Quin: …But Timbu is there to clear it! To bad that your favorite team just couldn’t put it away. You should realize that Quohog is too good for…

Newbury: You idiot! Timbu didn’t get it clear! Squornshelous regained possession of the ball! They shoot!

Quin: …and Philibert manages to get a hand on it with a diving save!

Newbury: But, come on, come on, Yes! A Squornshelous player gets there first and puts it away, evening the score up at one-all in the 63rd minute. Don’t feel so confident now, do you?

Quin: It was a good goal. So, despite heroic defense, Squornshie manages to get one in and ties the game. However, there is still plenty of time for Quohog to get another.

Newbury: Only in your dreams! I predict that this game is over. Squornshelous has the momentum, and I don’t think they will give it up.

Quin: The operative words being that you don’t think. So, the game is tied one-all. Silko and the team came out ready to attack instead of trying to sit on their lead. However, the goal came in a situation that the decision didn’t really make a difference in, so I don’t think that we could label that a coaching mistake.

Newbury: It will be labeled as one as soon as Quohog is down 2-1, then 3-1, then maybe 4-1!

Quin: Just shut up! Your country has given everything to you, yet you are still bitter. I am tired of hearing your complaining about past wrongs done to you. The simple fact of the matter was that you had a chance to be the next great thing in Quohog football, but you messed it up by being lazy and not practicing. Nemea was overshadowed by you, but look what he has gone on and done, because he was committed to the team.

Newbury: That is not so! I tried, it’s just that nobody ever cut me any slack when I made the tiniest of mistakes.

Quin: I weep for you, really. You’ve been given preferential treatment, you live like a prince, but you didn’t keep up your side of the bargain. I should kill you where you stand.

Newbury: But you cannot do that, can you, because us football players are immune.

Quin: You are right! But that means that I would be immune if I killed you! Even if I did it on national television! Come over here you whiney little runt!

Newbury: Help! Help! He’s gone mad! No wait! What are you doing! Put that down! I’m not staying around, you are crazy!

(Newbury flees the room. Quin begins to pursue him, but is interrupted by the sound of cheering. Running back to the announcing booth, he sees that another goal has been scored)

Quin: Ahh… sorry folks, I didn’t really catch who got the goal, let me check the replay… Yes! It was Quohog! We are ahead 2-1! What’s the time?!? What’s the time!?! And Quohog scores in the 76th minute! They just need to hold on for a little bit longer and they’ve got the win! Squornshie does not seem to be happy. This is a team that they just cannot seem to keep down! However, the game is still not over, and Squornshie seems to be making another run at it… What In the Name of… You Little Traitor! What are you doing back here!

Newbury: Well, I assumed that you…No, keep away from me! You cannot actually be thinking of really murdering me on national television, can you?

Quin: Yes you bastard! Take that! Oh no, you’re not slipping away from me…

(Screen goes blank until after the end of the match)

Quin (with some blood still on his cloths): What a great game! Quohog manages to win 2-1 over the heavily favored Squornshie! Next up on the chopping block is _AMP! I… hey, why are you going off air, I’m not done ye…

(An image of Quohog Information Minister Dosti Baanes appears)

My fellow citizens, I am sorry for what you’ve just witnessed. Not the win, it was a great game, but the lack of an effective announcer. After Ruth and Tod Pinkerton (covered the national team for 45 years, since long before the first Cup) retired, we’ve tried numerous announcers. This has obviously been a failure, but we will come up with a suitable pair before the next game.

In other news, it seems that former national team player Walter Newbury died. In related news, another former national team player, Quin Zheng, has been put under house arrest, indefinitely. Yes, very sad news.

Anyways, getting back to the cup, I think that the entire country can be proud of the team today. This win guarantees that they will advance, since they now have two wins with one game left, and the only other teams with a win are facing each other in the last match. So celebrate tonight. The government is giving you a holiday tomorrow! The work day will not start until 9AM, and will end early at 7 PM. Enjoy!

OOC: Where is Lemmy with the scores, I wanna update the tables even tho I've had less sleep than the last time I did, and we all know how that turned out.

:D

OCC: Well once again its unlikely that i'll get online over the weekend, so i'll seeyaz all again on Monday (by when i'll probably have been knocked out :cry: - nevermind :) )

Bedistan v. Ariddia

Frederic: "Welcome back, as the two teams are tied, and both determined to snatch victory and a chance to make it through..."

49th minute:
Frederic: "And Lewis is on fire, slipping through the net cast by Cerf and Sylvain... But here's Lenoir in his way! Ariddia's giant defender gets it back, passes to Reeds who clears it..."

Yves: "Bedistan aren't going to leave it at that! Burks has it now, passing back to... Intercepted by Cerf. He loses it, and... ooh, danger here, Sierra shoots! al-Jibai secures it."


60th minute:
Yves: "Khan to Reeds... Reeds to Terrell... He won't get through here... He slips it through to Kim, she... She's in difficulty here... She manages to slip it back to Terrell! He shoots! It's i- No, Bream saves it. Did it touch the line?"

Frederic: "Difficult to say. That was a great dive... The referee says no. And... yes, the replay confirms that. Bream has just prevented Ariddia from taking the lead."


64th minute:
Frederic: "And that'll be a free kick for Ariddia. Nyevich plays it. Barber intercepts, Karel is on him... Did you see who sent it out?"

Yves: "I think Karel touched it last. The referee agrees."

Frederic: "Sierra to put it back in. He sends it far out to Young. Young to Barber. He struggles with Cerf, has to send back to Barber... who passes straight to Burks... Danger here! A shot from far off, too... No, not too high! It's in!"

Yves: "And that brushed against al-Jibai's fingers, I think..."

Frederic: "Yes, it was deflected just slightly, but he couldn't keep it out. 2-1 for Bedistan."

Yves: "If the score stays like this, it's all over for Ariddia..."


81st minute:
Yves: "Cerf to Lenoir, gets it out of the danger zone. Khan moves it up... Passes to Karel... Karel back to Khan... Ariddia has mastery of the ball here. Khan to Terrell... No, he can't get through here. But there's an opportunity for... Yes, he's seen her, passes to Kim. She shoots! It's off the bar, comes back... She gets it first, shoots again! It hits the bar again, bounces... it's on the line!"

Frederic: "Bream has it now, but it's too late. That's a definite goal!"

Yves: "Kim Kim rushes round the field, jumps down skidding on her knees... She's grinning, sticking out her tongue!"

Frederic: "This is great for her, the youngest player in the team. And she's just given Ariddia a new chance..."


93rd minute:
Yves: "And it's over... History has repeated itself, with Ariddia and Bedistan ending their match on a 2-2 tie. This isn't good for either team..."

Frederic: "Quite right; next match for both will be crucial..."

What happened to Lemmitania? I thought the scores were supposed to be posted every day or something like that? And why does it take so long for either Lunatic Goofballs or Corpiosa Scotia to say something about their match? I need to know, my progress depends on the score.

Arrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (goes into temporary state of paranoia and ill-mental health)

<OOC>For those who are on the lam and have no access to telly or radio, you probably haven't heard that the entire northeastern quadrant of North America experienced a power outage yesterday at 9pm GMT. Power was restored for me at 8:30 am GMT, but many areas (including most of NYC, just across the Hudson River from me) have been getting power back only sporadically. Hell, my cell phone still doesn't work.

So I guess what I'm saying is :p, directed mostly at TnUI and One Red Dot.

Now, unfortunately, the match day 2 results are on the PC in my office at NYU. Seeing as NYU has no power and is shut down for the day (even the server and switchboard are down; for the first time in the years I've worked there, I am unable to load www.nyu.edu or call the emergency line) the full day 2 results will not be posted.

I will, however, run day 3 results and TG them later today. Keep in mind that the home computer is much much slower than the office PC, so it's not going to be all quick and easy. But I promise to get those day 3 scores out today. Got to keep the World Cup moving, even if the trains aren't.</OOC>

<OOC>For those who are on the lam and have no access to telly or radio, you probably haven't heard that the entire northeastern quadrant of North America experienced a power outage yesterday at 9pm GMT. Power was restored for me at 8:30 am GMT, but many areas (including most of NYC, just across the Hudson River from me) have been getting power back only sporadically. Hell, my cell phone still doesn't work.

So I guess what I'm saying is :p, directed mostly at TnUI and One Red Dot.

Now, unfortunately, the match day 2 results are on the PC in my office at NYU. Seeing as NYU has no power and is shut down for the day (even the server and switchboard are down; for the first time in the years I've worked there, I am unable to load www.nyu.edu or call the emergency line) the full day 2 results will not be posted.

I will, however, run day 3 results and TG them later today. Keep in mind that the home computer is much much slower than the office PC, so it's not going to be all quick and easy. But I promise to get those day 3 scores out today. Got to keep the World Cup moving, even if the trains aren't.</OOC>
OOC: Lem, under the circumstances, you're doing a great job.

IC: *The Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders bicycled over to the Lemmitanian Bureau of Sports (we still think it's in the closet on the 2nd floor of the Department of Defense, the one that held all those Weapons of Mild Destruction), formed a big "L" on the lawn, and.*

"Lemmy, Lemmy, he's our guy!
He's given' it the ol' college try!
He'll run day three on his home PC
And telegram results to A thru Z
YEAH, Lemmy!!"

*out of habit, the lemmings in the building open the windows and - yup, here come the ripe vegetables*

OOC: We're neighbors, Lem. You're somewhere in North Jersey (Ridgewood, Paramus, Bergenfield???) -an area I'm fairly familiar with. I lived in Orange County NY (just north of Jersey) in my youth - Warwick. Now, I'm up in Greene County, on the west side of the Hudson, just about 20 miles west of Catskill. Probably a two hour drive or less from where you are.

We had the power outage, too, but up here most places got power back in between an hour and a couple of hours. As I sit here, we're still hearing reports about parts of NYC still waiting for power.

So I guess what I'm saying is :p, directed mostly at TnUI and One Red Dot.

Ah, I didn't know you were in that area.

If it's still bad, I can do the 2nd round results.

[code:1:b422eb6f72]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Winner Group A ----
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group E - |
| -------------------
Winner Group B ---- |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group F -

Winner Group C ----
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group G - |
| -------------------
Winner Group D ---- |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group H -

Winner Group E ----
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group A - |
| -------------------
Winner Group F ---- |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group B -

Winner Group G ----
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group C - |
| -------------------
Winner Group H ---- |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group D -
[/code:1:b422eb6f72]

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

That'll do. How did I make it? A lot of hard work! Plus a little stealing.

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

It's the same one I made in World Cup 5, I just used the code tags.

IC: The TnUI Team will be wearing black armbands and have a two minute silence before the game against Snub Nose 38, due to tragic events back home. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=59772)

OOC: Lem, under the circumstances, you're doing a great job.

IC: *The Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders bicycled over to the Lemmitanian Bureau of Sports (we still think it's in the closet on the 2nd floor of the Department of Defense, the one that held all those Weapons of Mild Destruction), formed a big "L" on the lawn, and.*

"Lemmy, Lemmy, he's our guy!
He's given' it the ol' college try!
He'll run day three on his home PC
And telegram results to A thru Z
YEAH, Lemmy!!"

*out of habit, the lemmings in the building open the windows and - yup, here come the ripe vegetables*

OOC: We're neighbors, Lem. You're somewhere in North Jersey (Ridgewood, Paramus, Bergenfield???) -an area I'm fairly familiar with. I lived in Orange County NY (just north of Jersey) in my youth - Warwick. Now, I'm up in Greene County, on the west side of the Hudson, just about 20 miles west of Catskill. Probably a two hour drive or less from where you are.

We had the power outage, too, but up here most places got power back in between an hour and a couple of hours. As I sit here, we're still hearing reports about parts of NYC still waiting for power.

You used to live in Warwick, NY? My aunt, uncle and cousins live there. What a small world. Anyways, the entire NE didn't get it. I'm in Rhode Island, and except for one sweeping brown out, we escaped the power outages.

Quin: Well, that was quite a first half. Some very good ball movement on both sides, but Quohog ended up getting the goal.

Newbury: Yeah, on a no-skill, drop the ball behind the lines and hope sort of play.

Quin: You must be blind. That was a perfect pass by Singh up to Masseret, who then played the situation perfectly, and sent a bullet into the corner of the net. Drop the ball behind the line was all that you could do, but other players actually have some talent.

Newbury: Well, mark my words, it won’t happen again. That gap will be closed and Quohog will have no more chances. I’m betting that they are going to buckle down and attempt to weather the storm.

Quin: Uh oh! I must be going crazy, because I think they’ll do exactly that. Although, they’ve come out in similar circumstances still fighting. It will be interesting either way. And I do think that Squornshie will come out feeling that they have something to prove. However, if Quohog manages to match their energy early on, they have got this game.

Newbury: I don’t think they’ll be able to last. But I guess we’ll find out since the players are taking the field once again.

Quin: Both teams seem to be “a chompin at the bit and a rearing to git,” so to speak.

Newbury: So, I’ve finally witnessed it, you have gone utterly mad in front of my eyes.

Quin: No, no, it is just a line from a movie, I forget which one…

Newbury: Right, you keep thinking about that as I watch Squornshelous take over the game.

Quin: What do you mean, “take over the game?” From what I’ve seen, neither side has managed to get an advantage yet. Although, if your ability to tell what is going on in a game is as bad as your skills as a player were, I would understand how you mistook the situation.

Newbury: Oh yeah, well goalie Philibert has just had to make two saves, the second one fairly impressive, I’ll give him that. If he is so pressed just ten minutes in, then I think the balls will start slipping past him soon.

Quin: Of course, you are ignoring the fact that Quohog has sent one of the goalpost and that Squornshie’s goalie has also had to make a diving save during the same period.

Newbury: You just never give up hope, do you?

Quin: I never give up hope? You are the one who’s still supporting the Spinkwood rebels. The government has captured and re-educated about two hundred thousand of them, but you still support the twenty or so who have evaded capture and are currently believed to be living in the deepest gutter they can find. Talk about lost causes, they haven’t done any damage for ten years, but still you believe in them.

Newbury: It’s not a lost cause. I’m not the only one who believes that the Prime Minister should have killed the Queen when she stole power from him! Instead, he just takes it! And he becomes her biggest supporter!

Quin: Yeah, those re-education camps do wonders, don’t they? Anyways, the Queen has made our country what it is today. I should beat you down where you stand for talking that way.

Newbury: But you can’t, because I’m one of the elite. So sorry.

Quin: Enough of this, lets get back to the game.

Newbury: Good idea. It looks like Squornshelous has a great scoring opportunity here. A corner kick, and they’ve brought up the big players. The kick is taken…

Quin: …But Timbu is there to clear it! To bad that your favorite team just couldn’t put it away. You should realize that Quohog is too good for…

Newbury: You idiot! Timbu didn’t get it clear! Squornshelous regained possession of the ball! They shoot!

Quin: …and Philibert manages to get a hand on it with a diving save!

Newbury: But, come on, come on, Yes! A Squornshelous player gets there first and puts it away, evening the score up at one-all in the 63rd minute. Don’t feel so confident now, do you?

Quin: It was a good goal. So, despite heroic defense, Squornshie manages to get one in and ties the game. However, there is still plenty of time for Quohog to get another.

Newbury: Only in your dreams! I predict that this game is over. Squornshelous has the momentum, and I don’t think they will give it up.

Quin: The operative words being that you don’t think. So, the game is tied one-all. Silko and the team came out ready to attack instead of trying to sit on their lead. However, the goal came in a situation that the decision didn’t really make a difference in, so I don’t think that we could label that a coaching mistake.

Newbury: It will be labeled as one as soon as Quohog is down 2-1, then 3-1, then maybe 4-1!

Quin: Just shut up! Your country has given everything to you, yet you are still bitter. I am tired of hearing your complaining about past wrongs done to you. The simple fact of the matter was that you had a chance to be the next great thing in Quohog football, but you messed it up by being lazy and not practicing. Nemea was overshadowed by you, but look what he has gone on and done, because he was committed to the team.

Newbury: That is not so! I tried, it’s just that nobody ever cut me any slack when I made the tiniest of mistakes.

Quin: I weep for you, really. You’ve been given preferential treatment, you live like a prince, but you didn’t keep up your side of the bargain. I should kill you where you stand.

Newbury: But you cannot do that, can you, because us football players are immune.

Quin: You are right! But that means that I would be immune if I killed you! Even if I did it on national television! Come over here you whiney little runt!

Newbury: Help! Help! He’s gone mad! No wait! What are you doing! Put that down! I’m not staying around, you are crazy!

(Newbury flees the room. Quin begins to pursue him, but is interrupted by the sound of cheering. Running back to the announcing booth, he sees that another goal has been scored)

Quin: Ahh… sorry folks, I didn’t really catch who got the goal, let me check the replay… Yes! It was Quohog! We are ahead 2-1! What’s the time?!? What’s the time!?! And Quohog scores in the 76th minute! They just need to hold on for a little bit longer and they’ve got the win! Squornshie does not seem to be happy. This is a team that they just cannot seem to keep down! However, the game is still not over, and Squornshie seems to be making another run at it… What In the Name of… You Little Traitor! What are you doing back here!

Newbury: Well, I assumed that you…No, keep away from me! You cannot actually be thinking of really murdering me on national television, can you?

Quin: Yes you bastard! Take that! Oh no, you’re not slipping away from me…

(Screen goes blank until after the end of the match)

Quin (with some blood still on his cloths): What a great game! Quohog manages to win 2-1 over the heavily favored Squornshie! Next up on the chopping block is _AMP! I… hey, why are you going off air, I’m not done ye…

(An image of Quohog Information Minister Dosti Baanes appears)

My fellow citizens, I am sorry for what you’ve just witnessed. Not the win, it was a great game, but the lack of an effective announcer. After Ruth and Tod Pinkerton (covered the national team for 45 years, since long before the first Cup) retired, we’ve tried numerous announcers. This has obviously been a failure, but we will come up with a suitable pair before the next game.

In other news, it seems that former national team player Walter Newbury died. In related news, another former national team player, Quin Zheng, has been put under house arrest, indefinitely. Yes, very sad news.

Anyways, getting back to the cup, I think that the entire country can be proud of the team today. This win guarantees that they will advance, since they now have two wins with one game left, and the only other teams with a win are facing each other in the last match. So celebrate tonight. The government is giving you a holiday tomorrow! The work day will not start until 9AM, and will end early at 7 PM. Enjoy!

Gah!

For RP purposes, Squorn goal scored by MF Paul Scott.

Gah!

For RP purposes, Squorn goal scored by MF Paul Scott.

I'm sorry Squornshie. I tried to leave out most of the details so you could RP the actual game to some extents, but I guess that my oh so noble efforts were not appreciated. Oh, and this loss means that you definately will NOT sweep the group. Tough luck. Ha! Ha! Score one for the lesser ranked teams!

Score one for the lesser ranked teams!

You won't be lesser ranked for much longer if you keep this up!

*goes off to put a few quid on Quohog*

Score one for the lesser ranked teams!

You won't be lesser ranked for much longer if you keep this up!

*goes off to put a few quid on Quohog*

Shhh! Don't spread the word! Our government has spent a little money in Lemmitania, and it's a sure thing that we will reach the quarterfinals at the very least. But keep that hush, hush!

<OOC>Thank you all for your kind words.

TnUI- by Monday, all should be normalcy with NYC-area transit. So at that point, I'll post full day 2 and 3 results and we can take a look at the tables and see who's thru to the 2nd rnd. If KF still isn't back by then, I'm happy to continue round 2 on Monday, which would be the right timing anyway.

SN38- I live in Jersey City. :) or :( depending on how you look at it.

Okay, results are about to be generated. TGing will probably commence in about 20-30 mins. Last time I did it from home, the TGing took about 40 mins.</OOC>

So day 3 matches should be concluding within an hour or so.

Results have been TGed. Some of you now know whether you're thru. Others will unfortunately have to wait 'til Monday (late Sunday in Oz and Taiwan) to find out.

Another Early Exit

Bedistan's 1-1 draw with Chakra officially prevents the team from moving on to the second round for the second time. The Chakran players refused to speak to our team prior to the game, so we do not yet know what the result of their previous game was, but we knew that at the very least, this game had to be won. Alas, our World Cup record outside qualifying remains at a dismal 0-4-2.

It is as yet unclear what effect this will have on our team's world ranking, but chances are it will not change much from where it is now -- 27th.

"We got off to a pretty rocky start," commented team coach Jim Parker, referencing the team's failure to win any of its first six qualifying matches, "but then we caught fire for a while and got through almost by the skin of our teeth, just like last time. But again, upon entering the Cup proper, we just kind of died out. We have to do something about this before WC7."

Chakra has most likely made it to the second round, but we cannot be certain as yet, not knowing the results of two outstanding matches.

The team will be taking the next available flight out of Lemmadelphia back home to Columbia.

Final score:
Chakra 1
Bedistan 1 (Lewis 27)

Europa Brittania 1 Errinundera 1 (Er:antarcticad 10, EB: 12)

[code:1:45954f0c9e]Halfassedstates 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Errinundera 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Europa Brittania 0 2 1 5 6 -1 1
Akbarland 0 1 1 3 7 -4 1[/code:1:45954f0c9e]

Akbarland must defeat group standouts Halfassedstates by a margin of 7 goals to be assured of replacing Errinundera in the final 16. 8)

A full report will be posted in the next hour or so. (My PC is very old and slow.)

Scamperific Fritz Xoom scores 5 in amazing 6-0 rout of Tanah Burung!

There was no come-from-behind win. No last-minute heroics. Team Goofball, was on the top of it's game, performing like a well-oiled machine against the highly skilled, but lethargic Tanah Burung team. Team Goofball, who had been very quiet and unassuming so far as to avoid getting removed from their hotel, let their hair down and partied as only they can. Criminal charges are pending. Despite the protests of several animal rights groups, no animals were harmed, according to team captain, Barry Greenman.

Europa Brittania 1 Errinundera 1 (Er:antarcticad 10, EB: 12)

[code:1:5d6f0fd027]Halfassedstates 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Errinundera 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Europa Brittania 0 2 1 5 6 -1 1
Akbarland 0 1 1 3 7 -4 1[/code:1:5d6f0fd027]

Akbarland must defeat group standouts Halfassedstates by a margin of 7 goals to be assured of replacing Errinundera in the final 16. 8)

A full report will be posted in the next hour or so. (My PC is very old and slow.)

In a recent report, it seems that Akbarland managed to beat Halfassedstates 12-3 in their recent World Cup Match. This means that Akbarland will advance, and that Errinundera is out of it. High scores, are they not? Oh well, it's been a crazy Cup so far, I don't know why that would stop now.

News item from the The McKillops Bridge New Statesman:

http://www.newstatesman.com/graphics/ns/images/head_logo.gif

BRIDGE PARTY TRAGEDY

FIVE DIE AFTER FALL FROM LANDMARK

(Beautiful, moody photograph of the graceful McKillops Bridge appearing out of the mist above a silent, smooth running Snowy River.)

Celebrations turned sour today after football fans, rejoicing in the national team's one-all draw with Europa Brittania, surged onto McKillops Bridge. Over 50 people fell from the bridge and latest reports have confirmed five dead and many others seriously wounded.

Milosis Hospital spokesperson, kerspla, said that it was fortunate that the renowned Errinundrian casual spirit probably prevented the death toll from getting much higher. "If the crowd on the bridge, estimated at over 10,000, had panicked then I shudder to think what might have happened."

The accident was caused by a very large group of people at the summit of the bridge who, according to docks spokesperson hammyw, were dancing under the influence of depa. "It was like a huge line of dominoes. Some of the dancers stumbled causing the whole group to unbalance and fall over. This tumbling cascaded down the bridge with many of those along the edge being crushed against the barrier. Unluckily, in one section the barrier collapsed and many people fell from the bridge."

Local magistrate, arquaharf, has already advised that victims will not be able to seek compensation from authorities. "The bridge was built hundreds of years ago and is classified as a national monument. Its importance in the nation's history is incalculable and its classification disallows any alteration to the bridge. People who use it, do so at their own risk." Errinundera's Protector of Health, consumptivec, has pointed out that, under the nation's universal healthcare system, all injured people would be given whatever medical treatment was required.

The cause of the kerfuffle was the likelihood of the national football team's progress to the final 16 of World Cup 6. "Group minnows Akbarland have to beat group sharks Halfassedstates by 7 goals or better to overtake Errinundera by goal difference," said team coach and star goalkeeper, fionar. "The team has been magnificent. Its finally beginning to dawn on these guys that they are very, very good. We may be building a NationStates football superpower here. Who knows what may happen. This is a very exciting time to be a footballer in Errinundera."

The game itself was breathtaking. Back in the team after his recent disgrace, antarcticad was at his mercurial best, kicking a scorcher at the 10-minute mark. Europa Brittania immediately replied with an equally assertive goal. Although no more goals were scored the opening minutes set the tone for the rest of the game. Both sides attacked relentlessly, the ball moving from one end of the pitch to the other at a dizzying pace.

A draw would probably have been enough for Errinundera to progress to the final 16 but all out defence is simply not their style. fionar explained: "Our signature line-up is 3-4-3 but we are blessed with midfield players such as moschatuma, handesydek and horstrac who have an uncanny ability to read the play. snapier looks like she has the intellectual capacity to be included in this elite group. They are able to correctly judge the situation and adjust their play to be either defensive or attacking. I allow them to use their initiative. Their ability is reflected in our teams reputation as a good defensive side." The modest fionar didn't mention her own game but we must acknowledge the wondeful efforts of the keepers on both sides who made several wonderful saves.

Team gopher, princec, pointed out the irony that the team's best games of the World Cup so far had been one-all draws. "This rates, along with the match against TnUI, as the most skillful and exciting games I have seen from this team. If we can play like that against such famous teams then we can hold our heads up through the canopy."

Europa Brittania 1 Errinundera 1 (Er:antarcticad 10, EB: 12)

[code:1:ed57478b80]Halfassedstates 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Errinundera 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Europa Brittania 0 2 1 5 6 -1 1
Akbarland 0 1 1 3 7 -4 1[/code:1:ed57478b80]

Akbarland must defeat group standouts Halfassedstates by a margin of 7 goals to be assured of replacing Errinundera in the final 16. 8)

A full report will be posted in the next hour or so. (My PC is very old and slow.)

In a recent report, it seems that Akbarland managed to beat Halfassedstates 12-3 in their recent World Cup Match. This means that Akbarland will advance, and that Errinundera is out of it. High scores, are they not? Oh well, it's been a crazy Cup so far, I don't know why that would stop now.

Quohog pulls a stunt like that when they know, through the international news wires, that Errinundera is a nation in mourning. You guys are really sick.

(Well, half mourning - half celebrating.)

BTW, the Lunatic Golfballs post was a nice little lead-up to yours. Are they, perchance, a client state?

Dennisov v. Ariddia

Frederic: "Welcome to the second part of the match between Ariddia and Dennisov. And with Dennisov in the lead 1-0, prospects look grim... Let's take another look at the selected team. No changes during half-time for Ariddia..."


GK: David al-Jibai (11)
DEF: John Ness (13), Jon Quinez (16), Samuel Wood (17), Zach Treadwell (5)
MID: Ranjit Khan (7, capt), Raph Khaled (22), Michel Leschamps (14), Luc N’tula (12)
ATT: Raphael Ford (2), Kim Kim (10)


51st minute:
Yves: "al-Jibai sends back into Dennisov's side of the field, well-aimed for Leschamps. Defence rushing him; he passes to Ford. Dennisov's defence hounding Ariddia every time they attempt an attack... Ford has no one to pass to... He tries a shot! Intercepted."

Frederic: "Not too good here; Ariddia wasn't well organised."

66th minute:
Frederic: "Corner played by Khaled. N'tula has it; head pass... A scrabble here. Leschamps is down... Medics on the field, the referee... gives Ariddia a penalty kick!"

Yves: "I'm not too sure what happened here... Let's see the reply. Ah, ouch... Yes, a nasty blow with the knee to Leschamps'..."

Frederic: "Quite. I don't think it was intentional. But it must have been painful... Leschamps is getting up. He's nodding he's ok."

Yves: "And Ford is going to play the penalty. He can't allow himself to miss... He shoots... It's an explosive shot, and it's in! Right up in the corner! It's the equaliser for Ariddia!"

80th minute:
Frederic: "Tackle by Quinez. Dennisov gets it back... No, it's out. Khan to toss it back in. Treadwell to Leschamps. Leschamps to Kim... She's... There's no one in her path! Dennisov's goalkeeper is going to inter- She shoots! The goalkeeper spins, just misses it... It's right in!!"


95th minute:
Yves: "Final score, 2-1 for Ariddia. And a victory at last! Whether or not this will be enough for Ariddia to get through depends on how the other teams perform..."

So I guess what I'm saying is :p, directed mostly at TnUI and One Red Dot.

Ah, I didn't know you were in that area.

If it's still bad, I can do the 2nd round results.

Sorry, i didn't know you were living in NYC...(ventures off into state of ill-mental health again and severe paranoia and schizophrenia)

*****ASPN NEWS WORLD CUP 6 SPECIAL REPORT*****

*the wc6 logo and the aspn logo are superimposed on the screen. the aspn theme is heard, a little too loud, and still inappropriate for sports. we see four beautiful goals, two magnificent saves, and a terrific tackle - all from wc6. we see the lemmitanian flag flying over a stadium. we see a lemmitanian "highway", crowded with bicycles and tricycles of every description and fans wearing many different team colors. we slowly zoom in on a small group in snub nose 38 colors. disolve, and fade up on the aspn studios. on the wall we see the aspn logo linked with the wc6 logo. to their left is the snub nose 38 flag, and to their right the flag of total n utter insanity. below each flag is a national side jersey.*

Today is the final day of World Cup 6 Group Play matches. For the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans, as well as the rest of Group B, today is about the football, and the match itself, as previous match results have already determined that the Hooligans, and Total n Utter Insanity, will go on to the round of 16, while The Belmore Family and Malundar will not. For TBF and Malundar, it's pride, bragging rights, and maybe one or two places in world rankings that are at stake. For TnUI and the Hooligans, it's that and just a little more. the winner of today's match will play the second place team of Group F in the round of 16, while today's loser must play the winner of Group F.

The atmosphere was festive earlier today at horseshoe stadium. There wasn't an empty seat, and that in a stadium that holds 98,000. Both sides, and their fans, were already celebrating moving on, which left everyone in a good mood, ready to enjoy football.

*we see the exterior of horseshoe stadium. there seem to be at least a million bicycles, many decked out in tnui or hooligan colors. smoke is rising from a number of barbeque grills. in the center of the lot hundreds of people are dancing to the latin beat music of a group of muscians who are 'jammin'. concession stands are doing a brisk business in banners, horns, jerseys, and drinks (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic). some kids are playing football on a grassy spot between the parking lot and the stadium. we see a huge banner hung between two telephone poles that reads “timid n utterly insipid”. there is another banner hanging crookedly on the stadium that reads “snot nose zeros”.*

The match itself was a very good football game, from beginning to end. Both sides rested one or two key players, but for the rest it was the starting sides that faced one another.

*stadium interior. conga drums, horns, football songs fill the air. the sides are on the pitch, tnui to our left, hooligans to our right. the referee hand the ball to the hooligan at the center of the field. the crowd roars. the stadium shakes. the match begins.*

The run of play in the first half was about evenly divided between the sides. TnUI had the first opportunity to score on this well executed steal, by Hill, but Waffle, back in goal for the Hooligans, punched the strike away.

*we see hill steal the ball, slip past two hooligan defenders, and rifle a shot on goal from 20 yards. we see waffle leap at the ball, and punch it away at the last second with both fists*

In the 33rd minute Total n Utter finally managed to open the scoring.

*the tnui keeper, marry, throws the ball to defender wilcox on the left, who starts up the field. hooligans move to fill the space wilcox is trying to take advantage of, and wilcox slips the ball to his right, where wamdin takes it, and switches fields to samit on the right. samit plays to the corner, where hill just stays on sides, moves to the ball, and sends a cross floating in at about 8 yards. junn, waiting far post, heads it in as if there were no hooligans on the field. total n utter insanity ensues as tnui celebrate the goal.*

The Hooligans weren’t to be beaten that easily, however, and in the 37th minute Spike took the ball the length of the field to bring us back to even at one all.

*a tnui corner kick is taken, with the entire hooligan side except nails back on defense. the kick is headed down, and spike takes the ball in the box and, seeing some space, starts upfield on the right. he is at midfield before a defender closes on him, and manages to slip past. heading straight for goal, another tnui defender tries to tackle spike, who flips the ball up, jumps over the laid-out tnui defender, gains control of the ball again in stride, and enters the tnui box. he moves across towards the center, then as lemis and day close, he spins about, takes a step right setting up the ball, and shoots to the far post. marry, in goal, dives the ball brushes his finger tips, changes direction – but not enough to keep it out. the hooligans erupt into celebration*

One to one, and that’s where the score stood at the half. Now, we’re going to let this next clip speak for itself. Really, words fail.

*as the sides move down the tunnels and into the locker rooms at the half, a tumult breaks out behind the goal to our left. there’s a crowd, and we can’t quite see what’s going on. after a moment, the snub nose hooligan cheerleaders break out of the crowd and streak – literally – across the field. lemmitanian security is hot on their heals. as they run across the field, the cheerleaders are “cheering” – and the vegetables are flying at them from any and all fans near enough to take part.*

“T – Timidity
N - Nonentities
U – Untalented
I – Incompetents
Snub Nose Hooligans
Rah, Rah, Rah!!!
T – Totally
N – Nefarious
U -...”

*at this point, the streaking hooligan cheerleaders are surrounded by lemmitanian security, tackled, and hauled away. lemmitanian security drapes various pieces of clothing and blankets on the various cheerleaders as they go*

The second half began with a quick score from TnUI midfielder Marks – and the Hooligans never got back in it. They had several chances, but TnUI keeper Marry stopped them all.

In the 87th minute TnUI scored the final goal of the match on a penalty kick – Waffle had taken down Junn in the box when it was apparent that he could not prevent a goal. Waffle was red-carded, and Mack stood in goal for the Hooligans on the PK. He never had a chance to stop it.

*we see the penalty kick taken well by junn, and mack is completely fooled. he – well, he never had a chance to stop it (is there an echo in this post?).*

And that’s where the score remained. Final – TOTAL n UTTER INSANITY 3, SNUB HOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 1.

*****THIS HAS BEEN AN ASPN WORLD CUP 6 SPECIAL REPORT*****

One Red Dot Stuck with Draws. Coach Worries About Continuing.

One Red Dot has hit out with their third draw in the Group Stage and Head Coach for the ORD National Team is extremely worrried as ORD might not make it to the Round-of-16 at this rate.

News of the other matches have not reached us yet due to an unknown delay in Lemmitania. Rumours have it there is a power shortage and the Lemmings are still in darkness.

Back to Sports News, ORD has tied with Copiosa Scotia with a 3-3 scoreline. ORD's Head Coach, Alvin Ker, has been extremely dissatisfied with the performance of the team, having a tied a team that should ahve been relatively easy to defeat. However he is quite happy with the number of goals by the team, something that ORD does not see everyday.

[code:1:718dcccef2]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Winner Group A ----
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group E - |
| -------------------
TnUI -------------- |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group F -

Winner Group C ----
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group G - |
| -------------------
Winner Group D ---- |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group H -

Winner Group E ----
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group A - |
| -------------------
Winner Group F ---- |
| -------------------
Snub Nose 38 ------

Winner Group G ----
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group C - |
| -------------------
Winner Group H ---- |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group D -
[/code:1:718dcccef2]

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the Oppressed Peoples of Gilmeecia

President Louis Gilsterson: My fellow Gilmeecians, members of the local and imported press, I come before you today to address several issues which have gone too long un-addressed by me. First of all, these damn zombies. Now, as you know, we napalmed the Gilmeecian National Forest after a report that it was crawling with those undead bastards. So there's no Gilmeecian national Forest anymore. The land that was formerly occupied by the Gilmeecian national Forest has been officially rededicated as the Gilmeecian National Industrial Zone. A call will be put forth in the near future for any foreign nations interested in setting up shop on part or all of the 700-acre site. We'll be fielding bids from all comers, and considering the number of nations who need a place to plunk down a big ol' Pollution Factory or a Radioactive Waste dumpsite, I think we'll be rolling in the lemsonians soon.

Foreign Minister Ned Itchlesby: Hey, Lou.

Pres: What is it?

FM: You've got some drool there. Dripping on your lapel.

Pres: Oh. Thanks, Ned. Sorry, the thought of all the money we're gonna be making off the GNIZ just makes me salivate. Okay. But I was getting sidetracked. The point was, the zombies: now, after napalming the forest, we had a team of experts go over the whole blackened region with fine-toothed combs and zombie-sniffing hounddogs. And they did not find evidence of a single zombie. Which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that we got 'em all. Burned every one of 'em right out of existence.

Now, as you're also aware, we napalmed the "Curtington" neighborhood over by the river. Also because somebody thought they might have seen a zombie out there. And I mean, hey, nobody's mourning Curtington, it was really just a slum. Most of the houses were on the verge of collapse. And, contrary to rumor, Ground Forces made damn sure they'd evacuated every living person from the area before they let loose with the gasoline bombs. So the only ones who dies in Curtington were zombies. And they didn't really die, anyway, 'cause they were already dead! So no harm, no foul. Once again, after laying Curtington to waste, we sent those experts in with the combs and the dogs, and they made damn sure there were no zombies left. And sure enough, they didn't find evidence of a single zombie.

Now, point number three: rumors that Ground Forces Special Tactics scientists have built a huge underground zombie-development laboratory called "the Hive" and that zombies have taken control of said "Hive" and that we've sent a spunky Special Tactics agent in there to whack those damn zombies, but she's more or less failed and the zombies have gotten free and are overrunning downtown Gilmeecia, are completely false. We have reason to believe that that rumor originated with the popular video game "Super Mario Zombie Brothers" which has officially been banned in Gilmeecia, effective now! Any kids caught playing "Super Mario Zombie Brothers" will be severely punished. And you know what that means.

Okay. So enough about the zombies, or lack thereof. On to these freaking spiders.

Now, reports in the foreign press have suggested that the dire-FIFA spiders swam from Kingsford to Goofball Island and began biting the hell out of people, injecting them with radioactive venom and turning 'em into six-armed Superfreaks. And all I have to say about that is, if these spiders have the ability to bestow Superfreak status to people, give us some damn spiders! Who in their right mind doesn't want six arms and radioactive blood? I am now officially opening our borders to the dire-FIFA spiders, and I encourage all Gilmeecians to get bitten. Maybe some of you won't grow extra arms, but you'll get other crazy spider powers like the ability to shimmy up walls and shoot webs and throw buses and stuff. We are going to be awesome, people. I'd just like to see the looks on those zombies' faces when the Spider-Gilmeecians show up. Damn! Not that there are any zombies.

All right, on to bigger and more important things. It pains me greatly to have to announce that last week the National Piercing Squad got its collective ass kicked by those bastards from Tanah Burung. I have to hand it to those Burungians: they are the world's masters at Competitive Piercing. I have never in all my years of watching Piercing seen my namesake Lew Gilsterson cry like a little girl after someone shoved a spike through a certain part of his body. He's always taken it like a man before. But these Burungian spikers know their shit. So I ordered the execution of the Pokestabbers the other day, and those slippery punks promptly jumped ship. Last we saw 'em they we high-tailing it across the border into Loro Sae. You'd think the barbed-wire border fence would've stopped 'em, but those Piercing dudes can take a lot of pain. They just scampered right over the fence, leaving a trail of blood all over the damn place.

Now, finally, about the National Stadium. The official rededication has taken place down at the construction site. The stadium's coming along beautifully, and it should be completed in about two years. We're going to be organizing a brand new Gilmeecian Football League, to get people ready for the next World Cup, and we're confident that the Kickfooters are going to be ready to dominate world play soon. Especially seeing as we expect them all to be spider-people. Okay now, I have time for a couple questions. Bronf?

BJ: Bronf Jamesterson, Gilmeecia Today. Mr. President, what will happen if the dire-FIFA spiders take you up on your invitation, return to Gilmeecia, and then bite the zombies instead of the humans? Wouldn't that just make things worse?

Pres: I'm going to turn it over to Gilmeecian Science Adviser Rock Mudson to answer that one.

SA: Okay, now, first of all, zombies don't have blood. And since the dire-FIFA spider venom has to enter the bloodstream in order to turn you into a spider-person, there's nothing to worry about on that front. The spiders can bite the zombies all they want and it won't have any effect. Now, second, who's to say the zombies won't just eat the spiders' brains? What makes you think a spider can beat a zombie? And third, there are no zombies.

Pres: Thanks, Rock. Okay, Gillian.

GG: Gillian Gilquest, Gilmeecian Live!. Mr. Mudson, is that your real name?

SA: Yes, it is.

GG: Not to be impertinent, sir, but my readers want to know. What kind of a name is that?

SA: Well, actually, it's been in the family for years. I'm Rock Mudson the fourth. First there was my great-great-grandfather, then my great-grandfather, then it skipped a generation, and then it got my father and then me. It happens all the time, actually.

Pres: Okay, Blintz.

BM: Blintz Mitersaw, Go Go Gilmeecia!. Mr. Mudslop, what will happen if the spiders and the zombies form an alliance?

SA: Well, I think that's really one for the president to answer.

Pres: What's all this about the spiders and the zombies forming alliances? Who comes up with these crazy ideas? First of all, the dire-FIFA spiders can't talk. Can they? Not that I've heard of. So if they're capable of communicating and forming alliances, this is the first that I've heard of it. Second, zombies can't really say anything but "Brains... need more brains." So how they'd work out the intricacies of a treaty with the spiders is beyond me. And third, there are no freakin' zombies! How many times do I have to say that? Have you actually seen a zombie? Have you, Blintz?

BM: Well, no, not me personally, sir. But my brother's friend's boss was almost bitten by one in an alley the other day.

Pres: Where?

BM: Uh... I don't know. I guess behind where he works.

Pres: And where's that?

BM: The Shop-riffic supermarket over on Gingko Street.

Pres: Okay, then. Ned, have Ground Forces napalm Gingko Street. Any more questions? No? Okay, then, we're all done here.

Europa Brittania 1 Errinundera 1 (Er:antarcticad 10, EB: 12)

[code:1:f761086355]Halfassedstates 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Errinundera 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Europa Brittania 0 2 1 5 6 -1 1
Akbarland 0 1 1 3 7 -4 1[/code:1:f761086355]

Akbarland must defeat group standouts Halfassedstates by a margin of 7 goals to be assured of replacing Errinundera in the final 16. 8)

A full report will be posted in the next hour or so. (My PC is very old and slow.)

In a recent report, it seems that Akbarland managed to beat Halfassedstates 12-3 in their recent World Cup Match. This means that Akbarland will advance, and that Errinundera is out of it. High scores, are they not? Oh well, it's been a crazy Cup so far, I don't know why that would stop now.

Quohog pulls a stunt like that when they know, through the international news wires, that Errinundera is a nation in mourning. You guys are really sick.

(Well, half mourning - half celebrating.)

BTW, the Lunatic Golfballs post was a nice little lead-up to yours. Are they, perchance, a client state?

No, they are not a client state, it was merely good luck. Anyways, we didn't know that you were in a state of mourning at the time the newbroadcast went out. Now that we do, we'll have a little something to use against you... I mean, we sympathize with your people for the pain which came from this horrible tragedy.

BTW, the Lunatic Golfballs post was a nice little lead-up to yours. Are they, perchance, a client state?

((OOC: I am nobody's puppet! I have never had a hand up my hiney! .. Well, one time, when my girlfriend got me to experiment...*cough* Nevermind! I am nobody's puppet!))

:lol:

I'm trying to collect all the results I can, shame this thread is so full of OOC :P

BTW, the Lunatic Golfballs post was a nice little lead-up to yours. Are they, perchance, a client state?

((OOC: I am nobody's puppet! I have never had a hand up my hiney! .. Well, one time, when my girlfriend got me to experiment...*cough* Nevermind! I am nobody's puppet!))

http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/lachen/laughing-smiley-018.gif

Was it a meaningful experience for your girlfriend?

Beddy can you check them against yours.

[code:1:8318f799ee]
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 2 2 0 0 3 1 +2 6
Squornshelous 3 1 1 1 6 3 +3 4
Oglethorpia 3 1 1 1 5 2 +3 4
_AMP 2 0 0 2 0 8 -8 0

Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total N Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 7 3 +4 9
Snub Nose 38 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
Malundar 2 0 0 2 3 5 -2 0
The Belmore Family 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0

Group C
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Ironchefk 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Svecia 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Kingsford 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0

Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lunatic Goofballs 3 1 1 1 7 2 +5 4
Copiosa Scotia 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
Tanah Burung 3 1 1 1 2 7 -5 4
One Red Dot 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3

Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Brazillico 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Dark Outcasts 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Runaway Moose 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Dannland 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Chakra 2 1 1 0 3 1 +2 4
Ariddia 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4
Dennisov 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Bedistan 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2

Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates 3 2 1 0 5 2 +3 7
Errinundera 3 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Europa Brittania 3 0 2 1 5 6 -1 2
Akbarland 3 0 2 1 3 7 -4 2

Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lemmitania 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
Spaam 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Audioslavia 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 1
Cobra Cult 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
[/code:1:8318f799ee]

FYI: Coposia Scotia beat Lunatic Goofballs 1-0. I gave them the opportunity to post results first. Silly me. :oops:

:lol:

I'm trying to collect all the results I can, shame this thread is so full of OOC :P

You should talk!

I am simply trying to create some friendly hatred with Quohog (and they deserve it, the murderous hineys*).

Inspired by you and Oglethorpia. :P

*Thanks to Lunatic Goofballs for this wonderful new word for a very old phenomenon.

Beddy can you check them against yours.

[code:1:eda3bc4433]
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 2 2 0 0 3 1 +2 6
Squornshelous 2 1 0 1 5 2 +3 3
Oglethorpia 2 1 0 1 4 1 +3 3
_AMP 2 0 0 2 0 8 -8 0

Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total N Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 7 3 +4 9
Snub Nose 38 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
Malundar 2 0 0 2 3 5 -2 0
The Belmore Family 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0

Group C
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Ironchefk 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Svecia 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Kingsford 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0

Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lunatic Goofballs 2 1 1 0 7 1 +6 4
Tanah Burung 3 1 1 1 2 7 -5 4
One Red Dot 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3
Copiosa Scotia 2 0 1 1 4 5 -1 1

Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Brazillico 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Dark Outcasts 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Runaway Moose 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Dannland 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Chakra 2 1 1 0 3 1 +2 4
Ariddia 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4
Dennisov 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Bedistan 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2

Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates 2 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Errinundera 3 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Europa Brittania 3 0 2 1 5 6 -1 2
Akbarland 2 0 1 1 3 7 -4 1

Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lemmitania 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
Spaam 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Audioslavia 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 1
Cobra Cult 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
[/code:1:eda3bc4433]

Yeah, uh we trust Bedistan more than you TnUI.

FYI: Coposia Scotia beat Lunatic Goofballs 1-0. I gave them the opportunity to post results first. Silly me. :oops:

Wow that puts Tanah Burung out.

[code:1:cfcf498036]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Quohog ------------
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group E - |
| -------------------
TnUI -------------- |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group F -

Winner Group C ----
| -------------------
Errinundera ------- |
| -------------------
Lunatic Goofballs - |
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group H -

Winner Group E ----
| -------------------
Squornshelous ----- |
| -------------------
Winner Group F ---- |
| -------------------
Snub Nose 38 ------

Halfassedstates ---
| -------------------
Runner-Up Group C - |
| -------------------
Winner Group H ---- |
| -------------------
Copiosa Scotia ----
[/code:1:cfcf498036]

Beddy can you check them against yours.

Looks good -- I see only one difference, and it could be my fault:

[code:1:e2a2323eff]
Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total N Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 7 3 +4 9
Snub Nose 38 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
Malundar 2 0 0 2 3 5 -2 0
The Belmore Family 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0
[/code:1:e2a2323eff]

I have 5-5 for SN38 instead of 6-6, but I could be wrong. I'll check on that.

I wasn't sure about that so I guessed off of the table SN38 did.

FYI: Coposia Scotia beat Lunatic Goofballs 1-0. I gave them the opportunity to post results first. Silly me. :oops:

Wow that puts Tanah Burung out.

!! You know, I never really thought about it! It certainly explains Team Goofballs' party. Hehehe. BTW, The team would like to officially apologize for the incident with the busboy at the fine Lemmitanian restaurant and the vat of nacho cheese sauce. And they apologize to the busboy for any lasting psychological damage. :oops:

Oglethorpia Bows Out Of World Cup

Oglethorpia's World Cup 6 run came to an end with a tie against Squornshelous putting it just behind Quhog and Squornshelous. "We put ourselves in a bad situation with a loss against Quhog, and we were never able to rebound. We defeated a novice team from AMP, but a tie against Squornshelous sealed our fate. #5 in the world is a tough team and i'm sorry to say pulling out a tie was almost lucky," said coach Adam Wyneberg.

"It's disappointing that we've only been past the round of 32 once, only to be deafted by the team from Total n Utter Insanity," remarked star-striker Alfonzo Clay who would be retiring after his third World Cup. "I've had a good run but I don't think i'll be as competitive in 4 years for the next Cup." Team Captain Phillip Bjorn stated his comments on Clay's departure.

"Clay was a good player and i'll definitely miss him up there, almost always in position for a scoring attempt," team captain/midfielder Bjorn said. We'll keep you posted on any further developements of departing players. Here's to Oglethorpia in World Cup 7.

Was it a meaningful experience for your girlfriend?

SHe learned a lot. Actually, so did I. :oops:

Damn, Quohog is in the same bit as me.

Damn, Quohog is in the same bit as me.

Damn Quhog! I hope he gets eaten by dire-FIFA spiders!

I wasn't sure about that so I guessed off of the table SN38 did.
SN38 1 vs TnUI 3
SN38 2 vs TBF 1
SN38 3 vs Malundar 2

SN38 6 goals for, 6 goals against

I wasn't sure about that so I guessed off of the table SN38 did.
SN38 1 vs TnUI 3
SN38 2 vs TBF 1
SN38 3 vs Malundar 2

SN38 6 goals for, 6 goals against

TnUI 0
Bedistan 1 (or 2, depending on how you look at it)

Hah! I win! :P

Damn you! What were we doing again?

The Akbarland national football team has bowed out of the world cup after a goalless draw with Halfassedstates. The already qualified team from Halfassedstates took a relaxed approach to the game but the Akbarlanders could not take advantage and failed to find a goal despite numerous chances. It was immateriel though as it later emerged that avictory by seven goals would have been needed to proceed.

why have some teems only played 1 game (kingsford)

why have some teems only played 1 game (kingsford)

Due to the humongous power outage a couple days back, Lemmitania is unable to get to the Round 2 results, so we don't know the results of those that haven't been RPed here. It'll be fixed soon.

Damn, Quohog is in the same bit as me.

Damn Quhog! I hope he gets eaten by dire-FIFA spiders!

Now, now, Ogly, that is not nice. My name is supposed to be spelt Quohog, not Quhog. However, I don't know why you are all complaining about the FIFA spiders, I think it's a lot of excitement over nothi... wait, what's that? AAAhhhhhhhhhh! Run for your lives, save yourselves! It's got me! AAAHHHHHhhhhhh........

:lol:

I'm trying to collect all the results I can, shame this thread is so full of OOC :P

You should talk!

I am simply trying to create some friendly hatred with Quohog (and they deserve it, the murderous hineys*).

Inspired by you and Oglethorpia. :P

*Thanks to Lunatic Goofballs for this wonderful new word for a very old phenomenon.

I resent that, we are not hineys here in Quohog! We may be a bit murderous, but who doesn't have their faults?

And why does it take so long for either Lunatic Goofballs or Corpiosa Scotia to say something about their match?

Can't speak for LG, but my current schedule doesn't allow me to be on NationStates for any significant amount of time during the week.

Damn, Quohog is in the same bit as me.

Damn Quhog! I hope he gets eaten by dire-FIFA spiders!

Now, now, Ogly, that is not nice. My name is supposed to be spelt Quohog, not Quhog. However, I don't know why you are all complaining about the FIFA spiders, I think it's a lot of excitement over nothi... wait, what's that? AAAhhhhhhhhhh! Run for your lives, save yourselves! It's got me! AAAHHHHHhhhhhh........

Typo. Give me some slack here.

Typo. Give me some slack here.

Fair enough. However, does that give us all a carte blanche to make a typo or two?

Off-topic, but related: the Gilmeecian zombie hunter thread (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=62930). We have no idea what it's about, as it's classified. But some of you may have adequate security clearance to receive the transmissions.

Typo. Give me some slack here.

Fair enough. However, does that give us all a carte blanche to make a typo or two?

No.

Well, yes.

Typosts (people who make typos) are summarily exctued in Gilmeecia.

Typo. Give me some slack here.

Fair enough. However, does that give us all a carte blanche to make a typo or two?

No.

Well, yes.

Grate! I'm glaad we agrre

Typo. Give me some slack here.

Fair enough. However, does that give us all a carte blanche to make a typo or two?

No.

Well, yes.

Grate! I'm glaad we agrre

Yec. It iz verry godo tat we dont hvae to wrry bout speelng!!11

*decides banning the next person to make lots of typos from World Cup 7 would be a good idea*

*decides banning the next person to make lots of typos from World Cup 7 would be a good idea*

u rn't teh entrie wolrd cupp comittie!!11 uu jrek u sux0r!!1111

Check the first post of the World Cup 7 thread :wink:

*decides banning the next person to make lots of typos from World Cup 7 would be a good idea*

u rn't teh entrie wolrd cupp comittie!!11 uu jrek u sux0r!!1111

Abus off poewa! Abus off poewa!

Ditto

Ditto

Bastard.

Keep it G-rated buddy.

Bastard.

Bastard.

No, no, no! It is basterde! Cum on naw, git it write.

“My fellow citizens, I am Quohog’s Information Minister Baanes Dosti, as many of you are undoubtedly aware. We have had a bit of an announcing crisis recently at World Cup 6. However, after reviewing many of the possible candidates, it was decided that professional announcers would probably be able to do the best job. Therefore, I introduce Lena Waters from Quohog Sporting News, and Carlo Farina from The Quohog Football Station. I am sure that they will be able to do a much better job than the previous announcers, and allow the nation to appreciate the game. Recent data has shown that over 80% of Quohog citizens watched the first two matches. I’m sure that as we get farther into the tournament, the number will reach 1 billion viewers! Now, before I hand this broadcast over to Ms. Waters and Mr. Farina, it is my privilege to announce that we have already advanced to the second round. Oglethorpia and Squornshelous are playing each other. However, since we already have 6 points, and those two teams only have 3, it is assured that we will advance. With that in mind, enjoy the match.”

Lena: Thank you Minister Dosti. Well, welcome to Quohog’s third match in World Cup 6. My name is Lena Waters, and I’m joined by Carlo Farina. Today, Quohog is playing newcomers _AMP. Since _AMP already lost to both Oglethorpia and Squornshelous, it should be a relatively easy match for the team.

Carlo: Indeed it should. However, this is the World Cup, and upsets are the rule of the game. We managed to beat two teams ranked higher than us, so _AMP should not be taken lightly.

Lena: I would doubt that Head Coach Silko would allow the team to slack at this point. What concerns me is how well Quohog will do once it reaches the next round. Because the team has had a disturbing tendency in the past to play world class football up to a point, and then just collapse. It happened in World Cups 2 and 3, and in the first round of World Cup 5. Do you think that this team is different?

Carlo: This team is definitely different. The old teams suffered under Head Coach Sui Generis. I know that he was the man who put us on the map, but he was a little too old for this sort of thing in my opinion. In World Cup 1, he was already 75, and I think he should of retired. Instead, he stayed on until his death three years ago at the age of 92. Now, with a new, vigorous, dedicated coach once again at the helm, I would bet on the team going a far way.

Lena: I suspect that you are right. What I think we should be focusing on today is _AMP. They are an unranked team, but they managed to make it to the Cup. They have suffered two steep losses, and I think they want to walk away with a win. It would be my guess that we are going to see some great football today from this team with nothing to lose.

Carlo: The players are taking their positions… and the game begins. _AMP started with the ball, and they seem to be getting their footing. They are moving the ball pretty quickly, I think they want to press an attack home early and send out a message.

Lena: And a nice move past Cri Sawyes there, but Brannick is there for the tackle. Quohog is now in possession. Singh appears to be trying to settle it down a bit, but _AMP is really pushing the pace…

26th minute
Lena: And the ball is sent deep, Mysh is going to get to it first…but he trips! It’s just the _AMP striker and Philibert now! Philibert comes out to cut off the angle, but the ball rockets past him despite his best efforts. What superb execution! And Quohog is down 1-0.

Carlo: Mysh does not seem to be happy with himself. He’s a very young player, just 19 years old, and he feels that he let the team down.

Lena: To an extent he did. However, it was a mistake that anyone could have made, lets hope that he can pull his head back in the game. Brannick seems to be talking to him, I’m sure that she will settle him down.

33rd minute
Carlo: …and it appears that Brannick will be taking the kick. That means Sawyes will drop back to allow Timbu to come forward for the possible header.

Lena: She is deadly accurate with corners, but Timbu seems to be heavily guarded. She lines up, but ends up sending a short pass to Gamble, who sends the ball back to Brannick, who lofts it to the far post! Timbu is running in… and he gets it! Quohog scores and evens up the game!

Carlo: So, how often do you think that they’ve practiced that one?

Lena: Quite a few times. After Brannick passed to Gamble, Timbu started running our of the box, but then he wheeled and streaked towards the post, losing his defender along the way. And then that perfect pass.

Halftime

Carlo: The score is tied at one-all, but Quohog still seems to be controlling the game.

Lena: Yes, _AMP came out hot, but that doesn’t mean that they have won every free ball. Our players seem to be playing with a lot of intensity as well, and they are still a better team.

Carlo: The second half is still to come. Although Quohog has been playing the better game, the score is still tied. It will be interesting to see what develops.

54th minute
Carlo: And the pace seems to have slowed down a bit. Both teams started the second half like their future in the cup was at stake on the first ten minutes! I think that it has become an issue of pride. You seem to have been right about _AMP, they want to leave with a win.

Lena: On the other hand, Quohog is looking to sweep the group. That would be very meaningful to the team, and it would send a strong message…

71st minute
Lena: Nice strip by Adenauer. He seems to be shaping up well to the role of sweeper. And he has big shoes to fill as Coach Silko sits on the sidelines. He must know that everyone in the country is judging him in comparison to her, which isn’t fair to the young lad, but he seems very solid.

Carlo: The ball is sent to Mysh, to Timbu, up to Singh, who takes it down the line. She passes over to Masseret at the top of the box, who quickly sends it over to Armant who fires! And it is in! The _AMP goalie got a hand on it, but couldn’t stop the ball from hitting the back of the net! Quohog is in the lead 2-1!

Lena: I’m guessing that Silko will have her team slow down a bit now, probably bringing Gamble back to play mid-R back. The players have had a more difficult game than they probably wished, so I think they will just sit on the lead.

Final Quohog 2-1 _AMP
Lena: _AMP made the effort to get the equalizer, but they just didn’t manage to get a goal. And Quohog played a great game of possession, wearing down the clock. This means that Quohog sweeps the group!

Carlo: It was a great game. Not just for the quality of the game itself, but for the implication it makes about this team (Quohog). They want this, and it appears that they are ready. Now the team is going to rest up. They won’t see who they are going to be facing in the second round for a few more days, so they’ll have a bit of time off. I just suggest they don’t attempt to do any sight-seeing on their own, those bikes are tiring.

Lena: Ha, ha, ha (Good fake announcer laughter) That they are! Well, this is Lena Waters, joined by Carlo Farina, and this has been a broadcast of World Cup 6.

Oglethorpia Bows Out Of World Cup

Oglethorpia's World Cup 6 run came to an end with a tie against Squornshelous putting it just behind Quhog and Squornshelous. "We put ourselves in a bad situation with a loss against Quhog, and we were never able to rebound. We defeated a novice team from AMP, but a tie against Squornshelous sealed our fate. #5 in the world is a tough team and i'm sorry to say pulling out a tie was almost lucky," said coach Adam Wyneberg.

"It's disappointing that we've only been past the round of 32 once, only to be deafted by the team from Total n Utter Insanity," remarked star-striker Alfonzo Clay who would be retiring after his third World Cup. "I've had a good run but I don't think i'll be as competitive in 4 years for the next Cup." Team Captain Phillip Bjorn stated his comments on Clay's departure.

"Clay was a good player and i'll definitely miss him up there, almost always in position for a scoring attempt," team captain/midfielder Bjorn said. We'll keep you posted on any further developements of departing players. Here's to Oglethorpia in World Cup 7.

Wait, why are you out of it Ogly? I thought that you had the same amount of points as Squornshie. What are the rules for deciding who advaces if you both won, lost, and tied a game, and you have the same point differential?

[code:1:87750e52e7]
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 3 3 0 0 5 2 +3 9
Squornshelous 3 1 1 1 6 3 +3 4
Oglethorpia 3 1 1 1 5 2 +3 4
_AMP 3 0 0 3 1 10 -9 0

Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total N Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 7 3 +4 9
Snub Nose 38 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
Malundar 2 0 0 2 3 5 -2 0
The Belmore Family 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0

Group C
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Ironchefk 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Svecia 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Kingsford 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0

Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lunatic Goofballs 3 1 1 1 7 2 +5 4
Copiosa Scotia 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
Tanah Burung 3 1 1 1 2 7 -5 4
One Red Dot 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3

Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Brazillico 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Dark Outcasts 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Runaway Moose 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Dannland 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Chakra 2 1 1 0 3 1 +2 4
Ariddia 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4
Dennisov 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Bedistan 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2

Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates 3 2 1 0 5 2 +3 7
Errinundera 3 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Europa Brittania 3 0 2 1 5 6 -1 2
Akbarland 3 0 2 1 3 7 -4 2

Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lemmitania 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
Audioslavia 3 1 1 1 3 5 -2 4
Spaam 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Cobra Cult 3 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0
[/code:1:87750e52e7]

Wait, why are you out of it Ogly? I thought that you had the same amount of points as Squornshie. What are the rules for deciding who advaces if you both won, lost, and tied a game, and you have the same point differential?

Goals For.

Wait, why are you out of it Ogly? I thought that you had the same amount of points as Squornshie. What are the rules for deciding who advaces if you both won, lost, and tied a game, and you have the same point differential?

Goals For.

Tough luck. Of course, Squornshelous wouldn't have been happy if they hadn't advanced when they are the 5th ranked team.

Audioslavia 2 - 1 Cobra Cult
result probably not enough for Audioslavia to qualify

Unless Lemmitania are beaten by three goals or more at Spaam tomorrow, Audioslavia look to be on the way out of World Cup 6. Everyone currently has their spliffs crossed in hope of a large Spaam victory

heres the tables (it is known that Spaam beat Cobra Cult, but not by how much, so ive left the goals for/against alone. It doesnt matter anyway)
[code:1:de7aeb7749]
Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Spaam 2 1 0 0 3 0 +3 6
Lemmitania 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
Audioslavia 3 1 1 1 4 5 -2 4
Cobra Cult 3 0 0 3 2 4 -1 0
[/code:1:de7aeb7749]

Wait, why are you out of it Ogly? I thought that you had the same amount of points as Squornshie. What are the rules for deciding who advaces if you both won, lost, and tied a game, and you have the same point differential?

Goals For.

Tough luck. Of course, Squornshelous wouldn't have been happy if they hadn't advanced when they are the 5th ranked team.

That is an understatement. Tough luck Ogly. *wipes sweat off of forehead*

(OOC:.....Well here's to WC 7......why can't I have any consistancy.............being ranked no 4 didn't help me much this time round.....heres hoping no. 56 is more helpful :? :)

So, when does the second round start? On monday?

Sowhatsville News
Halfassed through to final 16.
The Halfassedstates football team qualified top of Group G yesterday after a dull 0-0 draw against bottom of the table Akbarland in the final group match.
Manager Sir James Munro made no apologies for fielding a weakened side. "As we had already qualified, I saw no reason for risking injury to a couple of our more important players, and rested them in preparation for the next match."
The brightest point in the game came when young Nay Hope tried an audascious(sp?) overhead kick that beat the Akbarland keeper only to crash off the crossbar and bounce clear.
The scoreless draw also brought joy in Errinundera, who qualified after a 1-1 draw with Europa Brittania.

At the time of print it is still unclear who or where Halfassedstates will be playing next. The schedule suggests that it will be the runners-up in group C, but with that group still in the melting pot, it is going to be an uncertain couple of days for the squad.

Come back Lemmitania. All is forgiven.

Come back Kingsford. All is forgiven.

Come back Spaam. All is forgiven.

:?

(OOC: This has been my worst WC ever....what a terrible performance...Bah....Grumble...roll on WC7......Bitch.....moan....)

(OOC: This has been my worst WC ever....what a terrible performance...Bah....Grumble...roll on WC7......Bitch.....moan....)

OOC: Here's to a worse WC7 for you :wink:

It never rains but storms...

Typosts (people who make typos) are summarily exctued in Gilmeecia.

THIS explains a certain absence. Exctue-tions are rather final, and often the cause for disappearances.
8)

(edit - the minister for postings for snub nose 38 has been exctued - twice)

OOC:At this time, last posts were...
Sat Aug 16, 2003 1:42 am (page 53) Lemmitania
Sun Aug 17, 2003 12:28 am (page 56) Gilmeecia

We have not lost hope.

Just Al Quds, Spaam, Kingsford, Lemmitania, Gilmeecia... :cry:
Never mind, Lemmy's back.

<OOC>Okay, I'm gonna put up the full day 2 and 3 scores in a minute... [b]but[/i] Lem/Spaam has not been run. TnUI, would you please do the honors?

As of yesterday, Tanah Burung still had no power, though I believe all of Ontario is supposed to be back up today.</OOC>

Group A
Squornshelous 1 - Quohog 2
Oglethorpia 4 - _AMP 1

Group B
Total N Utter Insanity 2 - The Belmore Family 1
Snub Nose 38 3 - Malundar 2

Group C
Svecia 2 - Gesamtkuntswerk 0
Ironchefk 0 - Kingsford 3

Group D
Tanah Burung 0 - One Red Dot 0
Lunatic Goofballs 1 - Copiosa Scotia 2

Group E
Brazillico 2 - Dark Outcasts 0
Runaway Moose 1 - Dannland 1

Group F
Ariddia 2 - Bedistan 2
Dennisov 0 - Chakra 3

Group G
Europa Brittania 1 - Halfassedstates 2
Errinundera 4 - Akbarland 0

Group H
Lemmitania 1 – Audioslavia 1
Spaam 2 - Cobra Cult 0

Group A
Squornshelous 1 - Oglethorpia 1
Quohog 2 - _AMP 1

Group B
TnUI 3 - SN38 1
The Belmore Family 2 - Malundar 2

Group C
Svecia 1 - Ironchefk 1
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 - Kingsford 3

Group D
Tanah Burung 0 - Lunatic Goofballs 6
One Red Dot 3 - Copiosa Scotia 3

Group E
Brazillico 0 - Runaway Moose 1
Dark Outcasts 3 - Dannland 3

Group F
Ariddia 2 - Dennisov 1
Bedistan 1 - Chakra 1

Group G
Europa Brittania 1 - Errinundera 1
Halfassedstates 0 - Akbarland 0

Group H
Lemmitania - Spaam
Audioslavia 2 - Cobra Cult 1

OOC:At this time, last posts were...
Sat Aug 16, 2003 1:42 am (page 53) Lemmitania
Sun Aug 17, 2003 12:28 am (page 56) Gilmeecia

We have not lost hope.

Just Al Quds, Spaam, Kingsford, Lemmitania, Gilmeecia... :cry:

Jeepers. We were only off for one day.

OOC:At this time, last posts were...
Sat Aug 16, 2003 1:42 am (page 53) Lemmitania
Sun Aug 17, 2003 12:28 am (page 56) Gilmeecia

We have not lost hope.

Just Al Quds, Spaam, Kingsford, Lemmitania, Gilmeecia... :cry:

Jeepers. We were only off for one day.
See above, edited, etc. (In this thread, anytime the host goes missing, we have cause to worry) 8)

[code:1:157aed8874]
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 3 3 0 0 5 2 +3 9
Squornshelous 3 1 1 1 6 3 +3 4
Oglethorpia 3 1 1 1 5 2 +3 4
_AMP 3 0 0 3 1 10 -9 0

Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total N Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 7 3 +4 9
Snub Nose 38 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
Malundar 3 0 1 2 6 8 -2 1
The Belmore Family 3 0 1 2 5 7 -2 1

Group C
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Svecia 3 2 1 0 4 1 +3 7
Kingsford 3 2 0 1 6 2 +4 6
Ironchefk 3 1 1 1 4 6 -2 4
Gesamtkuntswerk 3 0 0 3 3 8 -5 0

Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lunatic Goofballs 3 1 1 1 7 2 +5 4
Copiosa Scotia 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
Tanah Burung 3 1 1 1 2 7 -5 4
One Red Dot 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3

Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Brazillico 3 2 0 1 5 2 +3 6
Runaway Moose 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Dark Outcasts 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
Dannland 3 0 2 1 5 7 -2 2

Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Chakra 3 2 1 0 6 1 +5 7
Ariddia 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4
Dennisov 3 1 0 2 2 5 -3 3
Bedistan 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2

Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates 3 2 1 0 5 2 +3 7
Errinundera 3 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Europa Brittania 3 0 2 1 5 6 -1 2
Akbarland 3 0 2 1 3 7 -4 2

Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Spaam 2 2 0 0 5 0 +5 6
Lemmitania 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
Audioslavia 3 1 1 1 3 5 -2 4
Cobra Cult 3 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0
[/code:1:157aed8874]

Ned typed this up based on TnUI's table, so blame them for any errors.

EDIT: Someone had an error in the Group H table. Fixed.

...tables...

Ned typed this up based on TnUI's table, so blame them for any errors.

EDIT: Someone had an error in the Group H table. Fixed.

Hmm...guess someone's due to be exctued.

[code:1:8b21327596]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Quohog ------------
| -------------------
Runaway Moose ----- |
| -------------------
TnUI -------------- |
| -------------------
Ariddia ---------

Svecia ----------
| -------------------
Errinundera ------- |
| -------------------
Lunatic Goofballs - |
| -------------------
Lem/Spaam/Aud -----

Brazillico --------
| -------------------
Squornshelous ----- |
| -------------------
Chakra ------------ |
| -------------------
Snub Nose 38 ------

Halfassedstates ---
| -------------------
Kingsford --------- |
| -------------------
Spaam/Lem --------- |
| -------------------
Copiosa Scotia ----
[/code:1:8b21327596]

EDIT: Looks good now.

* we are in the offices of the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages. the minister is standing in front of a wall mirror by the door, admiring himself. something sparkles in the mirror - there is a large medal hanging from a silver chain around the ministers neck. margaret, in burgundly robe and midnight blue cape, is sprawled on a couch, looking out the window. the rubber chicken is lying on the card table *

- ...didn't really do anything to deserve such a nice medal.
- I'll say you didn't.
- Margaret, I'm at a loss for words. The Snub Nose 38 Hooligans have moved into the round of sixteen in World Cup competition for the first time ever, and you don't think...
- You said it first, bub. I'm just agreeing - you had nothing to do with it.
- I am the Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages. The Hooligans are under my direction.
- Yeah. So are the flippin' Hooligan Cheerleaders. Ya wanna take credit for that bunch?
- I can't be held responsible for those irresponsible morons! Streaking a football match, indeed! The Lemmitanian Government was absolutely right to deport them.
- They're still part of your ministry, champ.
- This is very unfair of you. My Hooligan football side has...
- That's a riot. Your Hooligans! Pal, my rubber chicken had more to do with their success so far in World Cup 6 than you did.
- Damn it, Margaret, can't you give me SOME credit?
- Nope. Now, why don't you go try and find out what you can about the Chakra side. We're up against them next, and the rubber chicken needs information on 'em.
- Well...but I get to keep the medal! I like my medal.
- Yeah, you can keep the medal. Just find out what you can about Chakra for the sacrificial supplication of the random number gods. And hand me a beer on your way out.

[code:1:becb6df20a]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Quohog (25)--------
| -------------------
Runaway Moose (12)- |
| -----------
TnUI (7)----------- |
| -------------------
Ariddia (6)--------

Svecia (2)---------
| -------------------
Errinundera (17)--- |
| -----------
Lunatic Goofballs (11) |
| -------------------
Lemmitania (3)-----

Brazillico (1)-----
| -------------------
Squornshelous (5)-- |
| -----------
Chakra (70)-------- |
| -------------------
Snub Nose 38 (20)--

Halfassedstates (49)
| -------------------
Kingsford (51)----- |
| -----------
Spaam (14)--------- |
| -------------------
Copiosa Scotia (50)
[/code:1:becb6df20a]
With (rank) added - as of the START of WC6 Qualifying
(Original Chart by TnUI)
-----------------------------------------
Anita Brake, Snub Nose 38 Minister of Picking Numbers Out Of A Hat, was questioned outside her offices today, and had this to say.

"It's a pure matter of chance that the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans are playing the side with the lowest Pre-WC6 rank in the round of 16. We once again categorically deny that the blindfold I wore during the drawing of the numbers slipped. Additionally, we have investigated the rumor that an employee of the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics and Alcoholic Beverages known only as "Margaret" is involved in sacrificial supplications to the random number gods, and can state with authority that the rumor is false.

It never happened. It will never happen. It isn't happening."

Very nice. Hey Sn38, I think everybody's dead but you and me.

My metabolic functions are still working right.

Uh, all this bad stuff may be happening due to the Oglethorpian Census Bereau reporting that our population is 666 million.

No lie.

There are already riots going on.

Result sent!

I'll just check the tables and update the Rankings.

Very nice. Hey Sn38, I think everybody's dead but you and me.

Nonsense. Us eliminated teams just don't have much to say anymore. ;)

That and the fact that the whole site was down (sort of) when I got home -- at around 9:40am tomorrow, according to the current forum time. :?

Next up! TnUI vs Ariddia, when footballing superpowers collide!

Very nice. Hey Sn38, I think everybody's dead but you and me.

Nonsense. Us eliminated teams just don't have much to say anymore. ;)

That and the fact that the whole site was down (sort of) when I got home -- at around 9:40am tomorrow, according to the current forum time. :?
Yeah - starting at about 3:30 P.M. EST I couldn't get here from there. Every time I tried to log on, got this message about "my browser wouldn't take cookies" - that lasted about 4 hours or so.

(My "bowser" will take cookies, candy, potatoe chips, and your left hand if your not quick enough).

Very nice. Hey Sn38, I think everybody's dead but you and me.

Nonsense. Us eliminated teams just don't have much to say anymore. ;)

That and the fact that the whole site was down (sort of) when I got home -- at around 9:40am tomorrow, according to the current forum time. :?
Yeah - starting at about 3:30 P.M. EST I couldn't get here from there. Every time I tried to log on, got this message about "my browser wouldn't take cookies" - that lasted about 4 hours or so.

(My "bowser" will take cookies, candy, potatoe chips, and your left hand if your not quick enough).

I checked at 2:00 PM my time, and then at around 5:00 PM my time (Pacific Standard, i'm on the West coast) everything was back workin'.

Bedistan: How true. Not much to do but sit and watch :?

This just in: TnUI, Bedistan, and Oglethorpia return... from the dead!!!!

"ZOMBIES!!" cry terrified peasants, running screaming from the awful horror-stricken scene of TERROR!!!111!!

ZOMBIES






The government of Gilmeecia denies the existence of all zombies, alive, dead, or undead.













Oh, did we mention ZOMBIES!!!111!!11one!!!11?

This just in: TnUI, Bedistan, and Oglethorpia return... from the dead!!!!

"ZOMBIES!!" cry terrified peasants, running screaming from the awful horror-stricken scene of TERROR!!!111!!

ZOMBIES






The government of Gilmeecia denies the existence of all zombies, alive, dead, or undead.













Oh, did we mention ZOMBIES!!!111!!11one!!!11?

Oh, and in case anyone thought that post was off topic, did we mention the ZOMBIES ARE PLAYING FOOTBALL???222??22??two2?

A World Cup rematch with Svecia!

Here is a flashback to the first match of Group A in the final 32 of WC5 between Errinundera and Svecia.

News item from The First Creek Falls Age.

(Newspaper masthead)

GIANT'S OWN GOAL FELLS TEAM

Errinundera competitive in first match

(Broadsheet width photo of Errinundera's goal mouth: 200 cm back nitense sliding feet first to the right in front of and below fionar, diving headfirst to the right; the ball is in centre of frame, above the 2 players, with the net clearly visible behind)

Late in the first half, disaster struck Errinundera in the World Cup match against highly favoured Svecia. In what turned out to be the only score of the game a powerful shot on goal from a Svecia striker was deflected from nitense's boot over the goalkeeper's head and into the net. Replays show that fionar had the shot otherwise covered.

The one-nil score line does not give justice to a game that was high on enthusiasm, skill and excitement and produced many shots on goal. Even with the continued absence of gabriellen nursing a strained hamstring the Errinundera forwards gave the Svecia defence a tremendous workout. The two hairstyle stars, antarcticad and oreadest, in particular, turned on scintillating performances. With all this attacking play the undoubted stars were the opposing goalkeepers. Unfortunately, Errinundera's inexperience gave Svecia the advantage to win the game.

"I thought fionar had been caught out of position by the play a moment before," said a rueful nitense. "So when the Svecia forward had the shot I just had to try and stop it. I had no idea fionar had moved so quickly." nitense also pondered on the forgiving nature of his fellow countrypeople: "Fortunately there are no guns in Errinundera. I have heard of other tournaments where players have been shot upon returning home after scoring own goals." When asked if this affected his subsequent play nitense responded, "Of course it affected my subsequent play. I'm a normal, emotional human being. After that balls-up I was f*cked for the rest of the day. I was so relieved when filthyl replaced me with the sub. I'm so depressed I don't know if I can come up for the next match. It's taken the shine off the whole tournament."

In contrast, antarcticad and oreadest were ebullient. "Our faces have been seen by millions more fans now," said a rapturous antarcticad the green. "Well, at least our haircuts," corrected oreadest the red who added, "and can put my name first? You always mention antarcticad first in your reports."

We asked the captain / coach filthyl whether star goalscorer gabriellen would be available for the next match. "It's hard to say - this injury has been very disappointing for the two of us. I can't believe it happened when she was doing cartwheels. Normally she can stand on her hands and spread her legs for me without any problems." Team physiotherapist eallcott has been rumoured to have complained to the national governing body that filthyl had been too demanding of his players. fionar, in an address to players after the match defended nitense, gabriellen and filthyl. "Everybody has put their arses on the line," she said. "The effort from everyone has been 100%. nitense had to make a decision in a squillionth of a second and clearly couldn't have known I was back on my feet. gabriellen has proven to everybody that she is the real star both up front and behind. filthyl built up this team from scratch and got it into the final 32. We are all very proud of our teammates."

Top football commentator, spouth, was quite sober in his analysis. "gabriellen is only a receiver. She wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome. It's most unlikely the team will progress beyond this round. Dennison and Svecia are in a class above Errinundera. Mind you, the lads and lasses didn't disgrace themselves against Svecia. I think the long-term prospects for the national side are exciting. I think their aim is to do well enough this time to be given a seeding for World Cup VI."

Bootstudder, phudson, expressed the feelings of all Errinundrians: "Everyone in the touring party back-up team, loves the players. They are a wonderful bunch of people."

Since that match, nitense has been a shadow of his former self. He will be given an opportunity to redeem himself.

Ok, explain this to me. My team somehow managed to beat the 5th and 17th best teams in the World. Then, as a reward, you would think that I would face Chakra or something. But no, my big reward is to face the 12th ranked team! Come-on! Give my team a break, you can only beat the odds so many times.

Oh, and in case you didn't notice, this bitching was done OOC.

Ok, explain this to me. My team somehow managed to beat the 5th and 17th best teams in the World. Then, as a reward, you would think that I would face Chakra or something. But no, my big reward is to face the 12th ranked team! Come-on! Give my team a break, you can only beat the odds so many times.

Oh, and in case you didn't notice, this bitching was done OOC.

I was 13th.

Get it right :wink:

(I can just imagine you going "it doesn't matter, I still beat you" :wink:)

I was 13th.

Get it right :wink:

(I can just imagine you going "it doesn't matter, I still beat you" :wink:)

I'm sorry, I guess that should have been checked before I did my post... "it doesn't matter, I still beat you!" :lol:

Next up! TnUI vs Ariddia, when footballing superpowers collide!

"We're looking forward to the match," team captain Khan told the media. "It's the first time we play against a fellow Uhuhland nation. And of course, this is two former hosts playing against each other." He grinned. "Hopefully, we'll be knocking them out of the competition."

Necropolis City Muertus Rotticus

G Dead Joe
D Gutshot Earl
D Rotting Arthur
D "Maggot" Mike McKinley
M Ol' One-Arm
M Headless Andrew Scott
M Vince "Somebody stole my damn kidneys!" Vicuna (captain)
M Broke-leg Bill
F Leadfoot Lew
F Ol' No-Arm
F Consumptive Sam

Undertown Bane of the Living

G "The Braincruncher"
D Braineater Rex
D "Grey Matter" George Grey
D "The Brainnosher"
M Erich "The Brainster" von Snell
M Toothless old Brainmasher
M "Brainchomping" Brian
F "Ye Olde Braininator"
F "Sugarbrains" (captain)
F Bruce "The Brainlicker"
F Braaains! Braaaains!


Live from Necropolis City, this is the late Ben Grossman for Undead Radio Network. Tonight, Necopolis City take on rivals Undertown in an A-league matchup sure to be the game of the month. With me to call tonight's game is your favorite dead commentator, Shel Bramley. Say hello to the nice people, Shel.

Shel: Aarrrgh!

Ben: A pleasant hello to all you members of the living, and keep in mind, we can smell your brains!

Shel: Braa.... braaaaains!

Ben: That's right, Shel, brains. The living have 'em, and we want 'em.

Shel: Braaains! Brains!

Ben: Heh, heh. He's just like Cookie Monster when it comes to brains, folks. Even eats 'em like Cookie Monster. They go dribbling out of his mouth, all down his shirt front, what a mess! Little zombie children gather 'round him and eat the leavings. It's funny!

Shel: Me want braaaaains!

Ben: You just keep screaming that, Ben. Well, we're just about set for the cointoss, and the dead referees are bringing the captains of our two squads out to midfield. Leading them by the hand. That's Vince Vicuna for the home side and Sugarbrains for the visitors. Sugarbrains has that crazed look in her eye, her one eye, you know the look I mean, Shel? It's the same look she always has. Like the only thing she can think about is eating brains. Braiaiaiains.

Shel: Braaaaaains!

Ben: So the ref flips the coin and neither player reacts. The ref is now picking up the coin again, and asking Sugarbrains quite explicitly whether she wants heads or tails. And what do you think she's picked, Shel?

Shel: Brains?

Ben: That's right, heads. Now the cointoss again, and it comes up tails. And Vince elects to... let's see, they're waving a hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention. Nope, it's no good. He's dead to the world. Hee hee! That's a pretty good one, Vince dead to the world. You think that's funny, Shel?

Shel: Brains?

Ben: No, funny.

Shel: Fun...nee? Brains?

Ben: So the refs are going to award first possession to Muertus Rotticus. They're bringing the players out onto the field. Leading them to their positions. You know what people don't realize, Shel? And by people, I mean the living, of course. They just don't get the fact that zombies are inherently a pretty docile bunch. I mean, all we really do is stand around all day. Waiting for that scent of brains to waft across the air and trigger our huuuuunger instinct. So they've got the players all set, and the ball is placed on the pitch. Ol' No-Arm, star striker for Muertus, is set to kick it off. And the whistle... and he's just standing there. Well, we'll just wait for the action to begin. What do you think of the game so far, Shel?

Shel: Needs more brains.

Ben: You know it. So while we're waiting for someone down there to figure out there's a game on, what do you want to talk about?

Shel: Brains!

Ben: Yeahhhh... brains. Mm-mm good. You know what I like, Shel?

Shel: Brains?

Ben: That's right. But I meant, you know how I like 'em prepared?

Shel: Pre... pared?

Ben: Yeah, I know, they're great fresh from the skull. Just crack it open and take a bite. But they're also good if you scoop 'em out and take 'em to the kitchen. You can do all kinds of great things with them.

Shel: No eat brains?

Ben: Well, of course I'm talking about eating them. But I’m talking about cooking them. Like, take Brains Au Graatin, for example. Have you ever had that, Shel?

Shel: Arrgh.

Ben: You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you? Folks, Shel’s been broadcasting from beyond the grave for a long, long time. And you know how zombies deteriorate after a while. Well, he’s just about at the end of his impaired cognitive abilities. It won’t stop him from following the scent of brains, of course. But it’ll turn all his dialogue into unintellgibly howls and gurgles.

Shel: Braains!

Ben: He’s just about there. I hope that before I reach that stage somebody shoots me in the base of the skull and puts me out of my eternal, brain-lusting misery. Oh, look! Toothless old Brainmasher looks like he’s got a scent! The whole stadium is waiting. The tension’s so thick you could cut it with a-- no, no, I guess it was nothing. He’s gone back into his vacant stare. You know, Shel, he hasn’t got any teeth.

Shel: Aaargh.

Ben: Can’t bite skulls open without teeth. You know how he gets the sweet, sweet brains out?

Shel: Brains.

Ben: Sucks ‘em right through the eyeball-hole. There’s a name for that eyeball-hole, if only I could think of it. They say forgetting words is a sign of deterioration. Another sign of deterioration? Rotting.

Shel: Gah.

Ben: You’re absolutely right! Sixteen minutes into the match, no one’s moved, so the refs are taking drastic measures. They’re doing something with the ball... oh my! They’re rubbing it with brains! For crying out-- look at the players! Every one of them is going into crazed brainlust attack mode! I wouldn’t want to be that ball-- or the ref, if he doesn’t drop it pretty quick. Okay, he’s tossed it onto the pitch, and the game is finally under way!

Shel: Brains! Braaains!

Ben: It’s tru, you can smell it even up here... arrgh... and it smells sooo goood. Sweet sweet brains. Players on field are fighting for ball now... fans rushing down from stands, following sweet sweet scent of sweet sweet brains. Only journalistic integrity keeps me from joining the fray. Shel... Shel? Where Shel? Shel on field! Big fight, everybody want ball... Everybody want brain! Everybody... Me want brainball too! Arrrgh! Brains! Arrrrgh...

And what do you think she's picked, Shel?

Shel: Brains?

Ben: That's right, heads. Now the cointoss again, and it comes up tails. And Vince elects to... let's see, they're waving a hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention. Nope, it's no good. He's dead to the world. Hee hee! That's a pretty good one, Vince dead to the world. You think that's funny, Shel?

Shel: Brains?

Ben: No, funny.

Shel: Fun...nee? Brains?

That's my favorite part.

Though it was all pretty funny :D

Live from Lemco City, this is Mel Flanders with Clem Gilson and Gil Lemson, bringing you the World Cup post-match report. A tight match today, well played on both sides, saw your Lemmitania Lemmings come up on the short end of a one-nothing score. But it’s enough to squeak though to the second round. Thoughts on the game, gents?

Clem: For the first time this Cup, the Lemmings are denied a goal. Well-played defensively, but our offense has to start producing. Today we saw Lemma Mingstein continue to shine, and another fine performance by that four-person defense Coach Lemster’s been relying on for years. But I’m not impressed with the lethargy we’re seeing from the strikers. Vera Michaels, in particular, has yet to produce a goal, after being one of the stars of World Cup five.

Mel: Spaam gets a goal in the fifty-fifth minute, the only score of the game, and--

Gil: You know wot I noticed about this game, Mel?

Mel: Thanks for interrupting me, Lemson. And, no. But I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.

Gil: Something’s gone wrong with our booth.

Mel: What are you talking about?

Gil: Well, I didn’t want to say anything about it while the game’s on. But last time we ‘ad that nice lurvely big booth with all the dials and buttons, and the big blue screen. And ‘ere today we’re in this li’le tiny cramped booth with the torn carpet and broken bits of ‘eadphones all over the floor. Wot gives?

Mel: Last game you wandered into the Audioslavian television studio, Gil. Remember? I spent half the damn game trying to pull you out. Gilson had to broadcast the match from a remote transmitter because the Audioslavians had to use our booth to call the game.

Gil: They did? Why?

Mel: Because you were in their booth, drinking their orange juice and making an ass of yourself!

Gil: Wull, that doesn’t sound like me.

Mel: It sounds exactly like you.

Gil: Where’s the big blue screen gone, then?

Mel: It’s exactly where it was before. In the Audioslavian television studio.

Gil: Television? Like wot we broadcast Monday Night Rugby on?

Mel: That’s right.

Gil: I didn’t know you could broadcast football on the telly. Wouldn’t it bore the viewers to tears?

Clem: Heh heh. Good question.

Mel: A lot of people like watching football.

Gil: Why?

Mel: It’s fun! And exciting.

Gil: You just keep telling yourself that, Mel. Anyway, if football on the telly’s so great, ‘ow come we only broadcast it on the radio?

Clem: Because there isn’t any money in televising football in Lemmitania. This country’s broke enough without the government wasting the airwaves on unpopular sports.

Mel: Football’s fast becoming one of the most popular sports in the country.

Gil: I ‘ope we get to do the next World Cup on the telly.

Clem: Why?

Gil: Because I want a big blue screen in the booth.

Clem: Again: why?

Gil: Aesthetics, Clem. Something you wouldn’t understand. Evidently.

Clem: Evidently.

Gil: I’m going to cut now to field reporter Glick Masterson down on the field. Glick is standing by with star midfielder Lana Maelstrom to comment on today’s game. Glick?

Glick: Gil, I’m standing on the field with star midfielder Lana Maelstrom, to comment on today’s game. Lana, the Lemmings just couldn’t get it together to score a goal today. Any thoughts?

Lana: Wull Glick, the Spaamistonian defense ‘ad us pretty well stonkered for most of the game. There was a noice copla shots wot ‘enny an’ me got off late in the first go-round but their keeper smothered the ball noicely an’ we couldn’ get a single thing pas’ ‘im. I meself only ‘ad one opportuni’y durin’ the secon’ frame, a noice crosser from Wilma around seven’y or eigh’y minutes, an’ I troied a ‘eader in’o the lef’ soide of the goal; but their keeper jus’ got a finger on it, an’ ‘e deflected the bugger roight above the crossbar. An’ that was it, really. They ‘ad us so stonkered I di’n’t get another opportunity all day.

Glick: The team has a collective three goals in three matches. You’ve survived to the second round by the skin of your teeth, but a goal a game-- that’s not going to carry you much further, is it?

Lana: Wull, I ‘ave to b’lieve we’re goin’ ‘oo break out of our doldrums soon, Glick. In short, we’re a be’er team than this. I firmly b’lieve that this is a be’er team than the one that went to the foinals four years ago, so I will personally be very shocked if we do not shoine in the nex’ round.

Glick: Next up, Lunatic Goofballs. They beat perennial greats Tanah Burung by an amazing six-goal margin Saturday. Concerned?

Lana: No’ a’ all, Glick. Respec’ful, cer’ainly. Goofballs ‘ave been a foine team for many a year. But the way they man’andled TB ‘ad to be a fluke. Nobody beats Tanah Burung by that score. So we’ll come prepared for a tough game, but I see no reason we shouldn’ be able to ‘andle ‘em.

Glick: Thanks Lana, and good luck in your next match.

Lana: Thanks, Glick.

Glick: Back to you, Gil.

Gil: Thanks, Glick.

Glick: No, thanks to you, Gil.

Gil: I like that kid.

Clem: Lana Maelstrom?

Gil: Wull, ‘er too, of course. But I was talking about Glick.

Clem: Yeah, he’s a good little toady for you, isn’t he?

Gil: ‘e sure as ‘ell is.

So... expect second-round scores to be TGed tomorrow sometime in the noon hour (NA EDT, or 5pm GMT).

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So... expect second-round scores to be TGed tomorrow sometime in the noon hour (NA EDT, or 5pm GMT).

Oh man, I can't wait to see how I did.


...



Oh, yeah, I was knocked out huh?

President Lou just wanted me to make sure you's all know we deny all knowledge of the existence of any so-called zombie nation underneath Gilmeecia, and we absolutely deny that any zombies down there would be playing football better than the kickfooters.

Ned Itchlesby
Foreign Minister

Firstly, an OOC reply:

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now an IC reply:

One Red Dot Falls After Draw Streak

I am Stu Dyogai and this is the One Red Dot Sports Update. The One Red Dot National Team have failed to make it to the Round of 16 after having 3 draws against 2 of the biggest giants in the World Cup and an upcoming supertalent.

For the past two World Cups, One Red Dot has failed to meet the mark of the capabilities of the national teams of the world and this World Cup adds to the failures. However, Mr Alvin Ker and Mr David Joel, Head Coach and Assistant Coach of the One Red Dot National Team see the three failures as a stepping stone to success.

AK(Video): We know that this hurdle is the highest to jump and we never really made it through for the past 3 World Cups. However, I see improvement as we have drawed with all three teams where others have lost to them. We still are very proud of ourselves. Very indeed.

DJ(Video): I have broken my promise of not being able to enter the Round-of-16 this time, but this small yet significant inprovement in the team brings us one step closer.

SD(Studio): Yes Mr Ker and Mr Joel. We believe in the dream and the hopes that make the One Red Dot National Team and a team with great hope

This has been the One Red Dot Sports Update and I am Stu Dyogai. From next week onwards, Ms Buzz Kethbohr will be hosting the show again, bringing you the latest in the basketball, baseball and golf championships.

But I, along with my colleagues, Fann Atik and Stan Inn, will return when World Cup 7 returns where One Red Dot will yet again compete with the rest for the coveted cup. Good Night.

ORD, with your "NOOOOOOOOOO" you're messing up my page margins.

ORD, with your "NOOOOOOOOOO" you're messing up my page margins.

Sorry. I edited them already.

ORD, with your "NOOOOOOOOOO" you're messing up my page margins.

Sorry. I edited them already.

No prob.

Thanks :D

Would anybody be kind enough to list the new rankings for the 16 that have fell out of the World Cup?????

Ben: So the refs are going to award first possession to Muertus Rotticus. They're bringing the players out onto the field. Leading them to their positions. You know what people don't realize, Shel? And by people, I mean the living, of course. They just don't get the fact that zombies are inherently a pretty docile bunch. I mean, all we really do is stand around all day. Waiting for that scent of brains to waft across the air and trigger our huuuuunger instinct. So they've got the players all set, and the ball is placed on the pitch. Ol' No-Arm, star striker for Muertus, is set to kick it off. And the whistle... and he's just standing there. Well, we'll just wait for the action to begin. What do you think of the game so far, Shel?

Shel: Needs more brains.

Ben: You know it. So while we're waiting for someone down there to figure out there's a game on, what do you want to talk about?



LOL That's my favourite bit... :p

I tried to make the rankings myself according to the latest results board put up by Gilmeecia:

[code:1:0f24dd4547]
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total N Utter Insanity* 3 3 0 0 7 3 +4 9
Quohog* 3 3 0 0 5 2 +3 9
Chakra* 3 2 1 0 6 1 +5 7
Halfassedstates* 3 2 1 0 5 2 +3 7
Svecia* 3 2 1 0 4 1 +3 7
Spaam* 2 2 0 0 5 0 +5 6
Kingsford* 3 2 0 1 6 2 +4 6
Brazillico* 3 2 0 1 5 2 +3 6
Snub Nose 38* 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
Lunatic Goofballs* 3 1 1 1 7 2 +5 4
Squornshelous* 3 1 1 1 6 3 +3 4
Errinundera* 3 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Lemmitania? 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
Copiosa Scotia* 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
Runaway Moose* 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Ariddia* 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4
Audioslavia? 3 1 1 1 3 5 -2 4

17 Oglethorpia 3 1 1 1 5 2 +3 4
18 Dark Outcasts 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
19 Ironchefk 3 1 1 1 4 6 -2 4
20 Tanah Burung 3 1 1 1 2 7 -5 4
21 One Red Dot 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3
22 Dennisov 3 1 0 2 2 5 -3 3
23 Europa Brittania 3 0 2 1 5 6 -1 2
24 Bedistan 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2
25 Dannland 3 0 2 1 5 7 -2 2
26 Akbarland 3 0 2 1 3 7 -4 2
27 Malundar 3 0 1 2 6 8 -2 1
28 The Belmore Family 3 0 1 2 5 7 -2 1
29 Cobra Cult 3 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0
30 Gesamtkuntswerk 3 0 0 3 3 8 -5 0
31 _AMP 3 0 0 3 1 10 -9 0
[/code:1:0f24dd4547]

*=In Round of 16 (2nd Round)

?= If Lem defeats Spaam, then Audio’s rank=20 and the rest are pushed down
If Spaam defeats Lem with GD more than 3, then Lem’s rank=18 and the rest are pushed down


If they are mistakes in the ranking, blame me. If there are mistakes in the score blame the one who collects the scores and put them in the table.

So... expect second-round scores to be TGed tomorrow sometime in the noon hour (NA EDT, or 5pm GMT).

<OOC>Here in the Yarra Valley we're 15 hours ahead of youse guys. That means you'll be posting around 3 am.

But which day? mmmm. Do I set the alarm tonight or tomorrow night?

I reckon tonight. :?

It's 18:00 here. Lemmitania posted his comment about 3.75 hours ago = 14:30 on Tuesday where I am. Subtract 15 hours = 23:30 on Monday night where he is. So he must be about to go to bed and expects to post the results in 12.5 hours which is 9 hours from now. Which will be about 03:00 Wednesday here in the chilly Yarra Glen in the middle of winter. Severe frosts are forecast. Bugger it, I'll check it at work tomorrow. :roll: <OOC>

[code:1:8d2e81be07]
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total N Utter Insanity* 3 3 0 0 7 3 +4 9
Quohog* 3 3 0 0 5 2 +3 9
Chakra* 3 2 1 0 6 1 +5 7
Halfassedstates* 3 2 1 0 5 2 +3 7
Svecia* 3 2 1 0 4 1 +3 7
Spaam* 2 2 0 0 5 0 +5 6
Kingsford* 3 2 0 1 6 2 +4 6
Brazillico* 3 2 0 1 5 2 +3 6
Snub Nose 38* 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
Lunatic Goofballs* 3 1 1 1 7 2 +5 4
Squornshelous* 3 1 1 1 6 3 +3 4
Errinundera* 3 1 1 1 6 4 +2 4
Lemmitania* 2 1 1 0 3 3 0 4
Copiosa Scotia* 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
Runaway Moose* 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Ariddia* 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4


17 Oglethorpia 3 1 1 1 5 2 +3 4
18 Dark Outcasts 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
19 Ironchefk 3 1 1 1 4 6 -2 4
20 Audioslavia 3 1 1 1 3 5 -2 4
21 Tanah Burung 3 1 1 1 2 7 -5 4
22 One Red Dot 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3
23 Dennisov 3 1 0 2 2 5 -3 3
24 Europa Brittania 3 0 2 1 5 6 -1 2
25 Bedistan 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2
26 Dannland 3 0 2 1 5 7 -2 2
27 Akbarland 3 0 2 1 3 7 -4 2
28 Malundar 3 0 1 2 6 8 -2 1
29 The Belmore Family 3 0 1 2 5 7 -2 1
30 Cobra Cult 3 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0
31 Gesamtkuntswerk 3 0 0 3 3 8 -5 0
32 _AMP 3 0 0 3 1 10 -9 0
[/code:1:8d2e81be07]

updated :)

post about seedings moved to WC7 thread - go read it 8)
please :(

[code:1:037b461b90]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Quohog (25)--------
| Quohog (25)--------
Runaway Moose (12)- |
| -----------
TnUI (7)----------- |
| Arridia (6)--------
Ariddia (6)--------

Svecia (2)---------
| Errinundera (17)---
Errinundera (17)--- |
| -----------
Lunatic Goofballs (11) |
| -------------------
Lemmitania (3)-----

Brazillico (1)-----
| Brazillico (1)-----
Squornshelous (5)-- |
| -----------
Chakra (70)-------- |
| Snub Nose 38 (20)--
Snub Nose 38 (20)--

Halfassedstates (49)
| Halfassedstates (49)
Kingsford (51)----- |
| -----------
Spaam (14)--------- |
| -------------------
Copiosa Scotia (50)
[/code:1:037b461b90]

(Original Chart by TnUI) Re-UPDATED Again

And, they're off!! (well...aren't we all a little off? :wink: )

Well, if I haven't heard anything to the contrary from any WCC members (TnUI, Tanah Burung, Brazillico, Ariddia, and even Alasdair I Frosticus have yet to weigh in) by this evening, I'll run the round-robin tournament. 36 games in 72 minutes. I hope you third-place teams are ready. Probably some of your players will die of exhaustion.

And then the tournament will begin. Tomorrow. Yeah, riiiiight.

I think it would be appropriate for Halfassedstates to host, at this point.

Going back a bit but I just noticed this one Lemmi :lol: :lol:

In case you're using the times listed for each post - the server can't tell time today. Add about 6 hours and 15 minutes to the "posted" time to get the actual EST time of the post

(my last post says "2:23 am", converts to 8:38 am, which is close to when i really posted it)

Feature article from the Big Tree Camp Guardian.

http://reachcanada.com/Uploads/MastHeadWebsite/MastHeadWebSite.33.gif

TALL TIMBER'S ENTHUSIASM SPROUTS ANEW

http://images.google.com.au/images?q=tbn:12A74NMKl1AC:members.optushome.com.au/shirtlessafl3/sydney/hall3.jpg
Errinundrian giants delegatensise and nitense (right) prepare to meet Svecia.

Four years ago in Tanah Burung local Big Tree Camp football star, nitense, scored an own goal as Errinundera went down one-nil to Svecia in the World Cup 5 group matches. Although it was the national team's only loss in the group it was enough to eliminate them from the Cup. Following that debacle nitense's form deserted him utterly and it has only been in the last 12 months that he has returned to something of his old self. Move on to World Cup 6 and nitense finds himself selected to front up against his old nemesis in the sudden death final 16 match. We spoke to the giant man on the eve of the big game.

BTCG: fionar has shown a lot of faith in you.

n: I'm not sure I really deserve a place in the side. My form hasn't been wonderful this cup in the few opportunities I've had. But for four years now I've dreamed of making up for that goal. It's what I want to do more than anything else in my life. Maybe fionar has cottoned on to that. I'll be going flat strap to prove her correct.

BTCG: How does she compare with the previous national coach, filthyl, or your club coach, alanj?

N: With filthyl it was his single-minded drive, more than his football nouse, that made him such a good coach. alanj is terrific, and he's gonna kill me for saying this, but he's not the national coach, is he? fionar has an intuitive understanding of human nature, I have to say. She tunes into people's personality straight away, regardless of what they're like. For instance, with the exception of gabriellen, filthyl treated everyone the same. We did the same routines, etc. fionar treats everybody differently. She seems to know what each person needs and what is best for everyone.

BTCG: But your place in the side comes at the expense of your Big Tree Camp team mate, fastigatae.

n: Isn't that ghastly? He was very good about it and personally encouraged me to make amends for that game.

BTCG: There's four giants in the national squad. It's an amazing sight when you're on the field together. How often has that happened?

n: Three times this cup and once in Tanah Burung. Our defence is a bit slow when we are on the field at the same time, so even if we are all selected one of us is usually subbing.

BTCG: Who's the tallest?

n: Stump (regnanse-ed) easily. He's 214 cm. I'm next at 203, then Alp (delegatensise-ed) at 200 and Brown Barrell (fastigatae-ed) is the shorty at 198. We make a great wall.

BTCG: Here in Big Tree Camp we reckon that, out of respect for your great size, we gave our sacred tree, ITEN, an abbreviation of your name.

n: Actually it's the othe way round. My parents thought I was a little ray of sunshine when I was born. (Ed: In the local dialect ITEN = bright image / lucky vision; "n" is a male gender signifier; "se" is a diminutive.)

BTCG: Hence the nickname, "Shiny".

n: Absolutely.

BTCG: The depa scandals have been debilitating for the side.

n: Sure, missing antarcticad for the first seven matches was a blow. So was the sacking of oreadest. But then, longipesp and firset have exceeded people's expectations. And the farce of the hung-over game against Halfassedstates is something we'd rather forget.

BTCG: The team has had a topsy-turvy cup. What else has contributed to that?

n: Two things, I think, apart from the depa issues. We struggled with the travelling and since the success of World Cup 5 the other teams now take us much more seriously.

BTCG: What have been the plusses?

n: Our strengths are our midfield and our defense. That's why I can't get a regular game! moschatuma has been in sensational form all through the qualifiers and the World Cup proper. He is the most skillful Errinundrian player I've ever seen. Without him we probably wouldn't have qualified.

BTCG: If Errinundera doesn't make it, who's your prediction for the Cup?

n: The best sides we've played so far have been Quohog, TnUI, Bedistan and Halfassedstates. I can't really comment about the others.

BTCG: Good luck against Svecia.

n: Thanks.

Would anybody be kind enough to list the new rankings for the 16 that have fell out of the World Cup?????

OOC: The rankings for WC7 are posted in the WC7 thread :wink:

Would anybody be kind enough to list the new rankings for the 16 that have fell out of the World Cup?????

OOC: The rankings for WC7 are posted in the WC7 thread :wink:
What an interesting place to put them! 8) (in case you've lost the WC7 thread) --->
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=52086&start=600

Results for the second round have been TGed, along with venues. TnUI, if you'd be so kind as to run Lunatic Goofballs/Lemmitania (taking place at Lemmitania National Stadium in Lemmington), we'd be much obliged.

From the front page of today's "Scuttlebutt"

Minister Knighted

"Earlier today the Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages was knighted by The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38. The ceremony was held in public, in the outdoor amphitheater in Sten's Springfield Park. Hundreds of well wishers were on hand. Champagne and cake were served after the ceremony.

This is all the more interesting when one considers Snub Nose 38 is not a monarchy, does not have royalty, nor a peerage system of any kind."
-----------------------------
OOC: Curious? So am I. More to follow 8)

What are you doing for ET and pens, I can't remember.

Squornshelous bows out after "disapointing" World Cup showing

Squornshelous ends its run in world cup 6 with a tough 1-0 loss against Brazillico. When asked for a comment on the game, star striker James Keiths said, "We just didn't execute out there, there was no energy." We will, hopefully, do better next time.

Svecia 1 Errinundera 3 (antarcticad 25, 35 longipesp 60)

My cup floweth over!

Full report tonight AEST.

:D

The excitement on Goofball Island builds as it is discovered that Team Goofball will be playing The Lemmings of Lemmitania next. It promises to be one of the most entertaining matches in World Cup History! :D

I'll do the result and then TG it if it isn't a draw, if it is I'll kill you.

*****ASPN NEWS WORLD CUP 6 SPECIAL REPORT*****

*the wc6 logo, the aspn logo, and the snub nose 38 hooligan logo, linked together and translucent, are superimposed on the screen. the aspn theme is heard, a little too loud, and still inappropriate for sports. we see four beautiful goals, two magnificent saves, and a terrific tackle - all from wc6. we see the lemmitanian flag flying over lonnie mack stadium (we know this because carved into the exterior wall are the words “lonnie mack stadium” in letters 3 feet high). we see a lemmitanian "highway", crowded with bicycles and tricycles of every description and fans wearing many different team colors, all streaming under a highway sign that reads “lemmadelphia 2 km”. *

Today’s World Cup 6 Round of 16 match pitted the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans against the National side of Chakra. The atmosphere was both competitive and festive at Lonnie Mack Stadium. Stadium officials had extra seating laid on everywhere it could go, and each and every seat was taken.

*the colorful stadium interior, panning across the stands. and stands they are – all the seats are taken, but no one appears to be sitting. chakra colors mix with hooligan colors everywhere. the rhythm of the conga drums fills the air. football songs are being chanted. it’s a beautiful day for football.*

The run of play in the first half was about evenly divided between the sides. Chakra maintained control of the ball for 23 minutes, Snub Nose 38 for 22. The scoring was opened on a corner kick early in the half at the 12th minute.

*we see a hooligan corner kick taken. it’s a out-swinger, and comes to the hooligan midfielder mack at just about the 18, where he chests it down and volleys it directly into the net before it hits the ground. chakra looks stunned. mack lifts his jersey up over his head and runs around like an idiot for a couple of seconds. then all the hooligans in the area pile on.*

That “pile on” may turn out to cost the Hooligans. Mack was injured, and had to be carried off on a stretcher. Medical reports were sketchy, but one indicated he may have a fractured rib. Knuckles substituted in for Mack, and that turned out to be fortunate for both Knuckles and the Hooligans. In the 38th minute Knuckles got his first World Cup goal on an assist from fellow midfielder Buster. Buster headed a long pass down right at Knuckles feet, and Knuckles finished with aplomb.

*we see a long pass, headed down to…look, just re-read the paragraph above this one, then move on to the next paragraph. it’ll save us both some aggrevation.*

The Hooligans went ahead 2 to nill, and that’s what the scoreboard read at the half.

*we see the scoreboard at the half. can you guess what it reads?*

As we all know, after the streaking incident at horseshoe stadium during the Hooligans last match, the Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders were deported by the Lemmitanian Board of Depravity Control. However, the Snub Nose 38 Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages arranged for the Hooligan Cheerleaders to broadcast to the big screen TV in Lonnie Mack Stadium from their jail cell. The Minister probably regretted this later.

*the big screen tv in lonnie mack stadium shows us the interior of a large cell in the remington county jail. the hooligan cheerleaders, in perfect synchronization, stick out their tongues and give us “the raspberries”. they then begin a cheer.*

“Snub Nose 38 – Hip, Hip, Hurray!!
Hooligans ‘ll win the match today!!
Chakra – chakra? Isn’t that a Vegetable?
BOO Okra – BOO Okra.
(another very long, loud, wet raspberry)

*the hooligan cheerleaders, once again in perfect synchronization, turn away and moon the camera – which quickly goes to black, but not before we see the remington county sheriff and his deputies begin to pitch a few ripe tomatoes between the bars at the cheerleaders.*

The second half was only six minutes old when Chakra fell victim to a rather unfortunate incident. Hooligan defender Cupcake fouled Chakra’s center midfielder rather badly, and the referee missed it altogether. But, he didn’t miss the retaliation.

*away from the ball, cupcake simply grabs the chakra player around the waist, and throws him down. the chakra player, after getting up, charges cupcake and swings at him. cupcake ducks, the ref pulls out his red card, and chakra finds themselves down 2 goals and 1 player.*

And, immediately thereafter, the Hooligans got a penalty kick on what was really an unintentional hand-ball, but it took place 5 yards from the goal mouth.

*obvious unintentional hand-ball 5 yards from goal mouth, which can be seen, however, to have prevented a goal. ah, well, such are the fickle gods of football*

The Hooligans converted, making the score line 3 to 0.

*scoreboard shows score line of “3” to “0”*

The final goal was scored in the 88th minute by Hooligan Striker Tank, on in relief of Nails. He simply tried one from nearly 40 yards out. It slipped untouched between 8 players from both sides, the Chakra keeper never even seeing it coming, and found the back of the net.

*which we see*

And, after 2 minutes of added time, the final score was CHAKRA 0 – SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 4.

The last anyone saw of the Hooligans they were pilling into their hotel carrying bottles of champagne, Chakra jerseys, and their Manager, Ben Dover, on their shoulders. It looked like they might be planning a little celebration.

Next up for the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans, the reigning world champs, top ranked Brazillico. Eileen Dover, Hooligan Defensive Coach, when asked about the prospect of playing the world champs, had this to say.

“Bats. I’ll say bats. They’re batty as can be. To quote an old friend of ours, “We’ll eviscerate ‘em.” Hey, they put on their pants one leg at a time, just like…oh…they don’t?”

*****THIS HAS BEEN AN ASPN SPECIAL WORLD CUP 6 REPORT*****
----------------------------
OOC: In mortal fear of plagarism, we couldn't end this post without crediting Tanah Burung Manager Bi Kikere as the source for Eileen Dover's quote about evisceration. 8)

Why is Quohog through? I must have missed it.

Why is Quohog through? I must have missed it.

Well, I am through, but no one has posted anything about it yet! Methinks someone jumped the gun somewhere. I'll put out a report at some point anyways.

TnUI v. Ariddia

Frederic: "And with just twenty minutes left to go, things are looking grim for Ariddia. Both teams seem to be focusing on attacking, so we're getting a very active match, but Dubois and Kim and the others have yet to find an opening they can really make use of."

Yves: "If you're just joining us now, the first part of the match ended with TnUI leading by 1-0. Both former hosts are playing for a place in the quarter finals. Both made it in World Cup 5, but only one of them can get through today..."

Frederic: "Well, the Ariddian supporters haven't given up hope yet. There are a great number standing here in the university stadium, chanting. Listen..."

Chant from the stadium: "Red-dy, red-dy, red-dy, reddyreddyreddyreddyredyy, red-dy, red-dy..."

Yves: "Hmmm... I've heard better plays on words. Red for the red and black of Ariddia, I assume, and..."

Frederic: "Well, it's the spirit that counts, isn't it? Let's just hope their enthusiasm can help the players. People throughout Uhuhland and well beyond are watching..."

Yves: "Nothing much seems to be happening right now, so we'll just give you a reminder of Ariddia's team selection for this match."


GK: David al-Jibai (11)
DEF: Boris Stairs (20), Samuel Wood (17), Zach Treadwell (5), Abel ‘Bloc’ Lenoir (21)
MID: Ranjit Khan (7, capt), Raph Khaled (22), Michel Leschamps (14), Samuel Pasteur (8 )
ATT: Myrtille Dubois (6), Kim Kim (10)


Yves: "Wait, we've got a bit of action here! Treadwell in defence, running alongside TnUI's forward, keeping him from cutting closer to al-Jibai. Attacker tries to step back and go round; Treadwell kicks back towards Lenoir. Ooh, that's dangerous! It gives a straight shot line for... TnUI intercept and shoot! Wood is in the way, deflects it with his chest, clears it!"

Frederic: "Khan takes it up, is coming up on some solid defence, passes to Khaled. He... He's lost it. Dubois is there, prevents defence from clearing it. She shoots... Defence blocks it. Khaled is there, shoots! It's in!"

Yves: "Goal for Ariddia, after 74 minutes! The goal TnUI hoped would never come!"

Frederic: "And the team is back in with a chance, if they can score again within the last quarter of an hour, or force prolongations!"


79th minute:
Frederic: "TnUI's defence just can't get the ball away to a safe distance here, but Ariddia can't seem to slip it into the net... Wait, Dubois has sneaked it, she... The goalkeeper deflects, with his fingertips! No way he could have controlled it here, the only thing he could hope was to save it. Defence kicks it out of the... Pasteur has it, sends it back into the fray, right to Dubois, who... She tries to shoot, it's an impossible angle, and it hits the bar, BOUNCES IN! It's in!! That's 2-1 for Ariddia!"

Yves: "The supporters are going wild! They thought it was all over, and in comes Dubois with that impossible shot! The keeper had no chance of stopping that, it just rebounded in behind his back!"


83rd minute:
Yves: "Treadwell to throw it back in. Sends to Pasteur... He gets it with his head, can't control it... TnUI have the ball! They play it forward quickly. Wood intercepts... They have it back, shoot! al-Jibai deflects it explosively with both hands, TnUI free to shoot again! He blocks it! al-Jibai holds the ball safely!"


85th minute:
Yves: "Khan running, running, keeping ahead of... No, there's too much opposition here. There's Stairs on the other side, Khan able to backtrack and fool defence long enough to pass it. Stairs has no clear angle to shoot... There's Kim, coming in! He passes! I don't know if she'll get it, she has to outrun two defenders, they're both taller than she is... They're closing in, the keeper as well up front... Even if she gets it, she won't be able to contr- She has it, hits it with her head, it's past the keeper AND IT'S IN!!!"

Frederic: "Superb goal by Kim Kim! Ooops, she collides with TnUI's keeper... They were both carried by their momentum. He helps her to her feet, she thanks him, while the crowd cheers. And what a revelation Ariddia's number 10 has been in this Cup! Look at her leap into the air!"


94th minute:
Frederic: "It's all over! And Ariddia have done it! The sixth best team in the world has beaten the seventh best by 3-1, and made it through to the quarter finals for the third time in six World Cups!"

Yves: "The previous times were in World Cups 2 and 5, and Ariddia has never made it to the semi-finals. Let's hope this will be lucky third!"

Frederic: "We'll be bringing you Ariddia's quarter-final match. For now, this was TnUI v. Ariddia, the clash. Good night!"

I had TnUI 1 - Ariddia 4, but I'll take a 3-1 defeat :)

Why is Quohog through? I must have missed it.

Well, I am through, but no one has posted anything about it yet! Methinks someone jumped the gun somewhere. I'll put out a report at some point anyways.

Uhum...the, ah...the - well, the Snub Nose 38 Minister of Super Secret Sleuthery not only had information he should not have had, but the idiot published it. The Minister did attempt to honorably commit sepuku (hari kari, ritual suicide, off himself), but is SO inept, he managed to screw that up, too.

The ex-Minister is recovering in the intensive stupidity ward at Saint Swithens Hospital.

Why is Quohog through? I must have missed it.

Well, I am through, but no one has posted anything about it yet! Methinks someone jumped the gun somewhere. I'll put out a report at some point anyways.

Uhum...the, ah...the - well, the Snub Nose 38 Minister of Super Secret Sleuthery not only had information he should not have had, but the idiot published it. The Minister did attempt to honorably commit sepuku (hari kari, ritual suicide, off himself), but is SO inept, he managed to screw that up, too.

The ex-Minister is recovering in the intensive stupidity ward at Saint Swithens Hospital.

Well, you've got to hand it to the Minister of Super Secret Sleuthery. Here I was, thinking that he/she might be a bumbling, inept "information gatherer," when he/she has to go and prove me wrong! Somehow, Snub was able to "infiltrate" the top-secret inner workings of World Cup 6 and get... MATCH RESULTS! Just think if we were all so competent, that we could learn other people's results! Anyways, here's hoping that the Minister fully recovers, don't want talent like that to go to waste! :wink:

Lena: Welcome to the round of 16 at World Cup 6. I’m Lena Waters, and this is Carlo Farina. Today, Quohog is playing Runaway Moose. It should be quite a game. While Runaway is higher-ranked than us, we are on a roll. Today, the game will be held in Lemmitania National Stadium, which seems to be to be an advantage to Quohog.

Carlo: It should be. Since our group round was held here, the players are comfortable in the stadium, and in the city. Furthermore, our third game was one of the earlier finishers, when you couple that with the fact that the team didn’t have to travel, well, that should benefit Quohog. They should be more rested, and more comfortable with the stadium and the city.

Lena: I also think that the majority of fans will be on our side. Quohog had to make it’s way past two better ranked teams in the group stage, and I think many of the spectators in the city have adopted the team. While Runaway Moose will still have their fans, it will just be another factor in our favor.

Carlo: Remember, the team is attempting to be the first Quohog team since World Cup I to make it past the round of 16. It will be a great match!

Lena: That it will. We have two great teams ready to go at it. Now, we’ve received word that Brannick and Singh have made their decisions about their future with the National Team. Singh has said that this will be her last Cup, so she will want to go out with a bang. Brannick has stated that if she feels that the team has, “reached a high enough level to prove her contributions,” then she will also retire. If, however, she feels disappointed with the teams play, she will stay on for one more.

Carlo: I would think that if they won this game, that might be “a high enough level” for her. It is an honor to make it to the quarterfinals, but whatever she ends up deciding, and however far the team makes it, her contributions to Quohog football will be celebrated.

Lena: The game seems to be about to commence. If you had to, which side would you pick to win the game?

Carlo: Although I hate to say it, I have a bad feeling that despite everything going the teams way, they are going to lose. However well they’ve been doing recently, this team has a history of great play, and then a sudden stop at this round. I’m not sure if the team has what it takes yet to advance.

Lena: I’m going to disagree with you on this one. Not only has the team been performing extraordinarily well lately, but also so many other little factors are adding up. The game being played in the teams, “home stadium” the fan support, I think it will be enough for Quohog to pull out with a victory.

Carlo: It really could go either way. It appears that the first touch has been made! I must say, the way this young team has remained so composed is what has impressed me the most about them.

Lena: You can say that again. This is a team that should be able to stay together, except for Brannick, Singh, and Nemea, for two or three cups. That they have had such an early success bodes well for Quohog football in the next decade or so. Another thing which impresses me is that…

22nd minute
Lena: and Philibert easily collects that ball. He throws it to Timbu, to Singh. According to reports, she wants to get an early goal, establish dominance, then sit back with a comfortable lead. She pivots, then passes to Gamble, who feeds it across to Nemea, who quickly sends a long ball towards the corner for Armant, who manages to beat his defender and cross. It looks good, Masseret is going to get there… and yes! Quohog has managed to get the first goal of the match.

Carlo: This is a great team which works so seamlessly. Oh, and in case you were keeping track, that is Masseret’s third goal of the cup. Armant, Timbu, and Sawyes share the other three.

Lena: You know, I think the biggest improvement on the team is the speed. Head Coach Silko decided that a player’s speed would be the determining factor if everything else was close to equal, and boy has that worked out! Masseret arrived ahead of her defenders, and was able to redirect the ball.

28th minute
Carlo: … and another deflection by the Runaway Moose defense! Quohog has had three good scoring opportunities turned away by some inspired play on the part of Runaway. Sawyers recovers the ball, passes to Singh. She spins, using some fancy footwork… changes directions again and fires! And the ball goes in the lower left corner of the net! Quohog takes a two to nothing lead!

Lena: What a shot! If Singh has suffered any criticism over her career, it has been that her shot is not good enough. Well, that one would satisfy even the most demanding of critics.

Carlo: Gamble has dropped back, I think that the team will try to hold onto this lead, at least until halftime! They are already up by two with less than thirty minutes gone, don’t want the players to burn themselves out!

Halftime
Carlo: A very good first half for the team. They were able to limit Runaway Moose’s scoring opportunities, and took advantage of their own.

Lena: Now we just have to see what the second half will have to offer.

61st minute
Carlo: This is a very dangerous situation. Runaway Moose has been steadily attacking ever since halftime, and Quohog’s own opportunities have come to naught. Runaway prepares for the corner. Just look at Philibert, he might be the youngest player on the team, but he certainly can assert himself when the play comes into his goal box!

Lena: The ball is kicked and the players jump, but the Runaway striker gets it in behind Philibert. Quohog is now only up by one with 30-odd minutes left to play.

77th minute
Lena: I was a bit surprised when Silko switched back to the diamond midfield with Gamble back up at the central-forward midfield position, but it appears to have worked! Quohog managed to get another goal, this time on a do-it-alone by Masseret, bringing her to four goals! That was a very impressive play. With about 15 minutes left to play, I think that we are going to be able to hold on and win this thing!

Carlo: It appears that you are right. I’ll have to eat my words about the team not having what it takes. But, we do still have 15 minutes to play, so lets not get excited too soon.

Final Quohog 3 - 1 Runaway Moose
Lena: What a game! Quohog wins and advances to the semi-finals. I’m beginning to think, and many of you are probably starting to believe, that this team has a real chance at winning the Cup! The way they handled themselves out there today is definitely a point in their favor.

Carlo: Well, however well they are playing, I’m still not sure about them winning the Cup, but they have done all they set out to do and more! The nation was tired with the team hanging around at the “good” level, and this Cup was supposed to launch us back up among the elite. I think that it has done that. Whatever happens in the next round, this is a team which has proven that it has what it takes. And, this win means that the team will jump from its 25th place ranking, up to one of the top 8!

Lena: I think that the entire country will be eagerly anticipating the next match. I am Lena Waters, this is Carlo Farina, and this has been a broadcast of World Cup 6.

OOC: And THAT is why Quohog is through. :D

'Game of the Day' theme fades

GL: Hello and welcome to today's match in WC6, between Halfassedstates and the "hosts" of the WC, our FIFA neighbours, Kingsford. I'm Gary Luniker and with me as usual is Alun Hansun. Hello Alun.

AH: Howdo Gary.

GL: Should be a good game today Alun.

AH: Yes Gary, the teams are evenly matched, Halfassed, ranked just a couple of places higher than Kingsford, and both teams having defeated higher ranked sides to make it to the last 16.

GL: So whos your money on then?

AH: Well, originally I would have given it to Kingford, but with the game now being held in Lemmitania rather than Kingsford, and in Three Trees Stadium where Halfassed played their group matches, I'd put them as favorites.

GL: What do you reckon to Sir James' team selection then?

AH: Well really he's just gone back to the tried and trusted. Malcolm in goal, Jones McDonald and Gibson at the back, the King twins Bruce and Wallace, with Paisley Adams and Hope up front.
The major talking point for some would be that Hope is on and Wallace is on the right wing, but Wallace has the pace and played in that role during the last cup, and Hope was impressive in the final group game against Akbarland.

GL: Yes, but moving the top scorer to the wing?

AH: He knows what he's doing, and most of Wallaces goals come from breaks or outpacing the defence - he can still do that from the wing!

GL: Time will tell I suppose. Anyway, we better go across to our commentary team in Lemmitania as the teams have just came out on the park, so its over to Big Run and first John Mutsun....

*cut to the game*
in the studio Alun reaches under the table and pulls out a 6 pack of HalfHeartedHooch, throws one at Gary, cracks one open for himself, pulls out a scarf which he waves round his head yelling come on Halfassed get stuck into those Kingsford s***s ............

*cuts back to the studio where we find a slightly drunk couple of presenters and a few (numbering slightly more than 6) empty beer cans*

GL & AH chanting: One-nil, ooonnnnnnneeeee-nil, one-nil, one-nil.

'program cuts off air'

OOC: Hey all, I'm back, I had an awesome time in New Mexico.. Hiking over 50+ miles, eating dehydrated food, not taking a shower or using deodorant for a whole 8 days. I'm glad I got to do it, but it looks as if I lost my hostshipness to Lem.. oh well. Guess that's what happens when you tell people you're leaving.

Hey ploser,

Lemmitania is an incredible place. I checked out the gazetteer in Pears Lardless Cyclopædia and found that, according to most descriptions, Lemmitania could be mistaken for a younger brother of Errinundera. Same sort of government, same love of the environment, same irreverence. If I told you they had the most amazing trees outside of Errinundera; their national animal was a cute little furry creature that hopped around beneath the trees; and they had banned cars you might say it must be a sort of home away from home. Things couldn't be further from the truth. The people here a really weird. But, in the nicest possible way!

The best way to get a handle on their strangeness is to consider the following two phenomena. 1) They love to eat their national animal. Unbelievable, but true. 2) Mel and Clem and Gil. There is nothing like them in Errinundera. All over the nation, Lemmings and Lemmitanians alike listen spellbound to their commentaries on life, the universe and Shemp. And when the three commentators start brawling the exceedingly excitable natives quickly take sides and start their own fights. Some say Gil is god, others reckon Mel is sorely put upon and yet others maintain that Clem is the wise, mediating angel.

The team visited Limmsburgh and witnessed a full-on riot as a result of Gil walking into the wrong commentary booth. We have been trying to visit Gil but so far we have been disappointed. I don't know the result of the match between Lemmitania and Lunatic Golfballs but if the hosts win we will be playing them in the quarter-final. filthyl says that all the stadiums and public places in Errinundera have had giant screens installed so that as many people as possible can view the match. Going by what he's heard about the last match, he reckons that 2 in 3 Errinundrians will be watching the game by screen in a carnival setting. Due to the popularity of The Dean of Lemmitanian Sports the public screen broadcast back home will be accompanied by the Lemmitanian radio commentary. We'll see if Gil can start a riot at home. I wonder if he realizes that 900 million people in Errinundera alone will be listening to him.

The match against Svecia was a ripper. Running out on to the ground in Swamplands with 70,000 cheering people is something I'll never forget. antarcticad pranced around like a stallion at stud. He told me that playing in the World Cup was what he was born for. White Errinundrian flags flew all over the stadium contrasting with an equal number of light blue Svecian flags. They matched the bright blue sky with its scudding snowy clouds. The Svecians chanted their country's name while our supporters jumped up and down on the spot like monkeys, screaming out "Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo." antarcticad, longipesp and I joined in prior to the kick off, much to the fans delight.

antarcticad lived up to his promise and played the most sensational game I have yet seen from him. He kicked 2 goals and had several more attempts but Matty Fijts was brilliant in goal for the Svecians. Our score suggests he had a poor game but that would be unfair to him. antarcticad was magnificent and Matty made some great saves. longipesp also snuck in, as is her habit, for a goal of her own.

At the other end of the ground, nitense made amends for the cup match against Svecia four years ago by completely shutting down their captain, Karl Goree. He was ecstatic afterwards. The whole team is so happy for him, even his Big Tree Camp team mate, fastigatae, who made way for him in the team. moschatuma was his usual elegant self. spouth reckons that a sign of football genius is the ability to maintain grace under pressure. If that is the measure then moschatuma is a bona fide football genius.

My game was mediocre. Since the hat-trick I've been in a sort of dream. I think it has affected my concentration. I've lost the edge, so to speak. After the match fionar said she wanted a one-on-one chat with me tomorrow. I'm sh*tting myself.

I see your company is now one of the sponsors of the next world cup. Who'd have thought during World Cup 5 that I'd be playing in World Cup 6 and you'd be sponsoring World Cup 7?

Rita and etanah send their love. We should be back home within 2 weeks. Roll on, quarter finals!

Sowhatsville Express

In a press statement realised yesterday evening by HSMG (HalfassedStates Media Group), the company apologised to viewers for the behaviour of presenters Gary Luniker and Alun Hansun on yesterdays 'Game of the Day' programme. The actions of the pair was blamed on 'over-enthusiasim' after Halfassedstates progressed to the quarter-finals of the WC with a 1-0 win over Kingsford.
HSMG also denied that the programme was cut short due to the inability of the two presenters to continue with the broadcast and blamed a failure in the satillite feed from Lemmitania as the source of the problem.

The match itself was a tightly fought affair, with the only goal coming from a 54th minute penalty. Captain Ree King once again converted the important kick after William Wallace had been tripped by the Kingsford full-back has he tried to cross the ball.

Manager Sir James Munro was delighted with the result but cautioned "we've made it to the last 8 - it can only get harder from here"
When asked if he thought the team could go further, Sir James coyly replied, "if you'd asked me a couple of weeks ago, I was just happy we'd made it to the 'big stage' after beating Errinundera, Europa Britannia and now Kingsford, I think we are all begining to enjoy being here - and we hope to stay for a wee while longer!"

I had TnUI 1 - Ariddia 4, but I'll take a 3-1 defeat :)

Ooops... Umm, consider Kim slipped another goal in in the 91st minute. ;)

[code:1:bb6fc65fdd]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Quohog (25)--------
| Quohog (25)--------
Runaway Moose (12)- |
| -----------
TnUI (7)----------- |
| Arridia (6)--------
Ariddia (6)--------

Svecia (2)---------
| Errinundera (17)---
Errinundera (17)--- |
| -----------
Lunatic Goofballs (11) |
| -------------------
Lemmitania (3)-----

Brazillico (1)-----
| Brazillico (1)-----
Squornshelous (5)-- |
| -----------
Chakra (70)-------- |
| Snub Nose 38 (20)--
Snub Nose 38 (20)--

Halfassedstates (49)
| Halfassedstates (49)
Kingsford (51)----- |
| -----------
Spaam (14)--------- |
| -------------------
Copiosa Scotia (50)
[/code:1:bb6fc65fdd]

(Original Chart by TnUI)
Isn't this exciting!! (:wink: )

Here's where we stand now, folks.

* the offices of the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages. they seem a little more "posh" then the last time we saw them. the card table has been replaced by an actual desk (oak, we think). the folding chair is gone, and in it's place is a nice leather desk chair. there is a credenza against the wall. where we are used to seeing a couple of 60 watt light bulbs hanging from the ceiling, we see a chrystal chandelier. the minister is seated at his desk, admiring his medal (it's in a little glass display case in the middle of his desk). margaret, appropriately robed and caped, rubber chicken in left hand, leather pouch with two eagle feathers in right hand, is facing away from us, hovering over what appears to be a rather elaborate altar. seated across from the minister is anita brake, minister of picking numbers out of a hat.*
- I don't see what you're worried about.
- You don't see your left hand if someone doesn't point it out to you.
- That isn't true, Anita. Here it is, right here.
- That is your right hand.
-...Oh...
- The problem is this. I drew the numbers out of the hat.
- That's your job, isn't it?
- Of course it is. And up to now, we've been golden. But now, due to the luck of the draw, we're up against Brazillico.
- So?
- Do you even follow this sport?
- No, Anita, he doesn't. He hasn't a clue. He's pretty good at drinking beer, and he's made an art form of being annoying, though.
- Margaret! That's just rude!
- Margaret, can you help? We need this one badly.
- Frankly, Anita, we probably will get this one badly.
- This is no time for jokes, Margaret.
- Margaret is very good with her rubber chicken, Anita. Look how far she's gotten the Hooligans in the World Glass.
- It's the World Cup! He really doesn't follow it at all. Amazing.
- I told you weeks ago I need a REAL chicken to get REAL results. Using this rubber one over and over - we've just been lucky so far.
- Can't you get her a real chicken?
- For every match? Chickens cost money.
- How do you do it, Margaret?
- They won't let me have anything sharp.
- I'll get you a bloody chicken. I'll have it delivered this afternoon. Do you want it live, or...
- Nah, just pick one up at the market. Just as long as it's not rubber.
- Margaret, you better not lose your rubber chicken.
- Minister, if...
- Call me "Sir". I've been knighted, you know.
- Ok - "Sir". Butt Out.
- Rude, just rude!
- That's another thing, Margaret. How did this character get knighted? We don't even have knights in this country.
- Somehow, Anita, he always lands on his feet. That's why I stick with him. He's kind of a good luck charm - that isn't very charming.
- I don't have to put up with this. I'm going back to my office.
*in tandem, margaret and anita* - This is your office, idiot.

Live from Lemmitania National Stadium in lovely Lemmington, this is Mel Flanders for the Lemmitanian Radio Network. Today, second-round World Cup action featuring your Lemmitania Lemmings against the Goofballs of Goofball Island. It should be an interesting match, featuring two sides that have risen to prominence on the world football scene since their last meeting eight years ago. Here to call today’s match are your usual commentators, Clem Gilson, and the Dean of Lemmitanian sports, Gil Lemson.

Gil: Thank you, Mel. Very nice to ‘ear me ti’le used in the correct fashion.

Mel: Yeah, whatever.

Clem: You know what? I want a title too.

Mel: Well, that’s just too damn bad. Lemson’s absconded with the only title available.

Clem: Why’s that the only title available? I bet we could think up a good title for me if we put our heads together.

Gil: ‘ow about “Assistant to the Dean of Lemmitanian sports?”

Clem: I was thinking of something a little snazzier.

Gil: Wot could be snazzier? Your title’s got “Dean of Lemmitanian sports” in it!

Clem: In a manner of speaking. How about something that doesn’t inherently put me subordinate to you?

Gil: Wull, if you want to be that way.

Mel: How about, “That other guy?”

Clem: Phooey. I’m not ‘that other guy.’ You’re ‘that other guy.’

Mel: The hell you say. I’m the anchor.

Gil: That don’t stop you being ‘that other guy.’

Clem: I’ve got it. How about “the Voice of the Lemmings?”

Gil: Hmmm… ‘as a nice ring to it. Doesn’t overshadow me own ti’le. I think we can go with that one.

Mel: Just one problem: you’re not the voice of the Lemmings.

Clem: I wasn’t the voice of the Lemmings. I am, now.

Mel: Not until it’s in your contract.

Clem: Cripes, you can’t say a single nice thing about a person, can you, Mel?

Gil: Yeah, Mel, all ‘e’s askin’ you to do is introduce ‘im as the Voice of the Lemmings. ‘ow ‘ard is that?

Mel: What makes him the Voice of the Lemmings?

Clem: Who else would you have in mind?

Gil: Mebbe ‘e ‘as me in mind.

Clem: You’re already Dean of Lemmitanian sports. You can’t be Dean of Lemmitanian sports and Voice of the Lemmings.

Gil: Mel begs to differ with you.

Clem: Oh yeah? Well maybe Mel wants to step outside and discuss it.

Mel: Sit down, Gilson. You’re arguing with Gil, not with me.

Clem: So what are you saying, you agree with me?

Mel: I don’t agree with either of you.

Gil: You ‘ave to. We’ve posed a dialectic.

Clem: That’s right. You can’t both be Dean of Lemmitanian sports and Voice of the Lemmings and not be Dean of Lemmitanian sports and Voice of the Lemmings at the same time.

Gil: Huh?

Mel: Yeah, huh?

Clem: I don’t know what I just said. But the point is, you’ve got to choose a side, Mel.

Gil: An’ stick to it.

Clem: Yeah, no wishy-washying back and forth.

Gil: Like a fish.

Clem: A fish? What do fish have to do with it?

Gil: Wot’s Love got to do with it?

Clem: Huh?

Gil: Don’t go saying “Huh.” You pulled that one on me once!

Clem: Did it work?

Gil: It thoroughly confused me.

Clem: And now it’s thoroughly confused me.

Gil: ‘ooray! Score one for the Dean of Lemmitanian sports.

Clem: And one for the Voice of the Lemmings.

Mel: You aren’t the Voice of the Lemmings!

Gil: Don’t start that again, Mel. Oh, but Clem, I do ‘ave a word of advice.

Clem: What’s that?

Gil: Retain a trademark attorney. Post-haste.

Clem: Oh yeah, good idea.

Gil: You don’t want Mel sneaking off and stealing your ti’le out from under you.

Clem: He’s a sneaky bastard.

Gil: So wot are you waitin’ for?

Clem: What do you mean?

Gil: Go call your lawyer!

Clem: Right now?

Gil: Look, now that we’ve floated the idea on national radio, every kid in Lemmitania wants to be first on the block to trademark the ti’le “Voice of the Lemmings.” You’ve got to beat ‘em to the punch!

Clem: You’re right. There’s no time to lose.

Gil: If there’s one thing I’ve learned from me adventures bein’ almost eviscerated by Shemp, it’s that.

Mel: Sit down! Where do you think you’re going?

Gil: If ‘e’s smart, ‘e’ll get ‘is contract re-written while ‘e’s out. Kill two birds with one stone, you know.

Mel: How the hell do I manage to work with you people?

Gil: Is that a koan?

Mel: All right, the refs are bringing the captains to midfield for the cointoss. We’ll just break here for some important messages.

Guess that's what happens when you tell people you're leaving.

Oh, I think it would have been worse if you hadn't said anything, and just up and disappeared. Heck, if Spaam hadn't disappeared, and we hadn't had all those delays when we were trying to figure out what the hell was going on, the cup would be done by now.

There seems to be a slight delay in the Lemmitania-Lunatic Goofballs game as the referees sort out technical difficulties.

It seems that Team Goofball has decided to show up for the game wearing nothing but FIFA-sanctioned footwear. Except for Fritz Xoom, who is wearing a 'Scamperific' T-shirt that many referees wish had been somewhat longer.

I JUST READ IN ANOTHER THREAD THAT THERE IS NOW A 65 PAGE LIMIT PER THREAD - FOLLOWED BY IMMEDIATE DELETION
(Visual evidence seems to indicate the thread will be 'locked' rather than deleted)
Recommend we "shift" WC6 to another thread for the round of 8, the semi finals, and the finals (or sooner). Of course, Lemmy would have to do that. (and leave us a hint so we can find the new one).

Done.

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1338143#1338143

Please do not post in this thread any more. All WC6 posts should be in the new thread.

Thank you.

I JUST READ IN ANOTHER THREAD THAT THERE IS NOW A 65 PAGE LIMIT PER THREAD - FOLLOWED BY IMMEDIATE DELETION
(Visual evidence seems to indicate the thread will be 'locked' rather than deleted)
Recommend we "shift" WC6 to another thread for the round of 8, the semi finals, and the finals (or sooner). Of course, Lemmy would have to do that. (and leave us a hint so we can find the new one).

this is my last post ever in this thread:

IF ANYONE CALLS A ROUND "THE ROUND OF 8" or "THE ROUND OF 16" or whatever, I AM GOING TO DECLARE WAR ON THEM

First Round
Second Round
Quarter Final
Semi Final
Final.

you knobjockeys :/

Coming at the same time as the Svecian princesses wedding, this years World Cup did not receive the same amount of coverage or publicity as last year's did when Svecia went on to take the third place match over Europa Brittania and finish second overall in the tournament. Svecia did make another trip to the second round with a 2W-1D-0L record in group play and has now been in the second round 2 consecutive Cups.

After the match, captain Karl Goree stunned the nation of Svecia as well as all football fans around the world by announcing his retirement from the international soccer/football stage saying that he was "just getting too old" even though he was again the leading goal scorer in the tournament for the Svecian squad. During a post-match press conference he wished the Errinundera team a successful run through the quarter and semifinals and then tearfully declared his decision to retire. His presense on the field will definitely be missed in the following World Cups. His replacement is to be named at a later date.

The 65 page limit is for threads in General only

Bump for historical-ness!

We mustn't forget our past!

Larry Hudson
Bureau of Historical-ness

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