NationStates Jolt Archive

Hey TnUI, I'm going to tune out of this thread for a while, could you (or someone) TG me when qualifying ends? Thanks.


I'll probably forget...

3rd Unknown falls infront of home crowd. Only Quohog can stop TnUI now. Next Match: Mezitzia, Away.

[code:1:11a5d6f6a1]
Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Total n Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 12 4 +8 9
Quohog 3 3 0 0 11 6 +5 9
Timway 3 1 2 0 7 6 +1 5
Errinundera 3 1 1 1 7 5 +2 4
Mezitzia 3 1 1 1 6 6 0 4
Hegemonia Polska 3 0 1 2 5 10 -5 1
LordSquall 3 0 1 2 5 13 -8 1
Liverpool England 3 0 0 3 5 8 -3 0
[/code:1:11a5d6f6a1]

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the oppressed Peoples of Gilmeecia.

President Lou Gilsterson: Thank you. My fellow Gilmeecians, members of the foreign press, it is with pleasure that I address you tonight-- pleasure at being pleased that we are already able to repay the majority of the debt we owe to Brazillico for the 30 million lemsonian loan for the construction of a new National Stadium thanks to a successful fire sale on the rats we found at the site. Pleasure as well that I'm happy to be able to say that the repairs to the original Stadium are proceeding apace.

The carpet is practically indistinguishable from grass, or at least from high-grade Astroturf, or at the very least, from the carpeting in your basement, and the new bleachers are even better than the shed was. I mean, considering that unbeknownst to us it was crawling with rats. There's no way the pallets we made the bleachers out of are crawling with any kind of rats. I assure you, if there had been rats in the pallets, we would have gathered 'em together and sold 'em in a bin.

So-- Here's a nice juicy check for 18.1 million lemsonians, and I'm putting it in the mail to Brazillico just as soon as I get out of this press conference. And for one last happy announcement, I'm pleased to be happy to be able to be delighted to say that the big piercing tournament (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=54473) is not going to be canceled after all. There's even a few minutes left to sign up, so if any of you foreign nations listening to this broadcast care to enroll, just drop us a line. Now, I have time for about two questions. Um... Glick.

GM: Glick Mitersaw, Nightly News of Gilmeecia Weekly. Mr. President, my viewers are concerned about the environmental effects of the napalming of the National Stadium zone last week. Do you have any reassuring words for them?

Pres: Glick, napalm is harmless. All it did was burn the field to the ground and kill the rats. What possible environmental effect could that have? Bobita.

BG: Bobita Glang, Weekly News of the Gilmeecian Night. Mr. President, what of the effect that the removal of the rats may have on the environment?

Pres: What's this environment business tonight? Look, I'll have Ned look into it and give you a full report in a couple days. Thank you. No more questions.

Hey TnUI, I'm going to tune out of this thread for a while, could you (or someone) TG me when qualifying ends? Thanks.


I'll probably forget...

Oh, well, I'll just look in hre from time to time to see what's up.

I think 9 attacks would probably be better. I'm gonna change the formula to 10 attacks for the Brazillico-Ogle match, which I can do at any time.

Perhaps teams with offensive tendencies (traditionally) could have one or two more attacks for and against them and the traditional defensive sides have one or two fewer attacks for and against.

Do you know how it works? If you did you would know that this would take an awful lot of time and effort.

OOC: Why are all my matches lost?

DAILY CROCODILE
Tune-ups continue

Tanah Burung has two more wins and now shares top spot in group 5 with enigmatic Shaw Heath.

The toughest test for the Crocodiles came in game two against Snub Nose 38, the only other team in the group with Cup experience. "Snub Nose 20 is tough," said coach Bi Kikere. "We came prepared to play hard, and they certainly forced us to." The Crocodiles used their entire first team starting line-up:

[code:1:41af00d877]
da Gama

Tiro Bibere David Agusputri

Bere Santos van Esterik Hodu

Cavaco Francisco
[/code:1:41af00d877]

The Hooligans started with Waffle in goal. Cupcake, Twinkie and Donut were the defenders; midfielders were Buster, Mack, Buddy and Chester; and forwards Spike, Brad and Nail.

The match was almost overshadowed by the behaviour of the notorious Hooligan Cheerleaders, who pelted the Flying Cassowary with garbage as it descended. The Babble Sportsnet broadcast feed was cut after an altercation between a Cheerleader and the only cameraman on board; BSN announced that it will send multiple camera operators on future away dates.

It started slow as the two sides felt each other out (a few Cheerleaders appeared to be feeling each other up). A good chance for Spike was stopped by Simon da Gama in the Crocs net. Otherwise, the defensive line held up well and even created a scoring chance on a very pretty run by Rosa Bibere. But the real story was Wim van Esterik in the midfield, who teamed up with Joao Santos to create several good chances and scored the first goal with a long ball that was just too much for Waffle to handle. But van Esterik also garnered a yellow card as play became more and more chippy.

The second goal went to captain Ab Francisco, now at 32 the Crocs' oldest player. Francisco's goal was a perfect setpiece off a free kick which stunned Snub Nose fans into silence briefly. With that the star striker came off in favour of a fifth defender, and the Holligans were unable to get a goal back.

Final score: Tanah Burung 2 Snub Nose 38 0
van Esterik 38, Francisco 72

---

The Flying Cassowary limped back to Tanah Burung for the home opener against Copiosa Scotia, the only other ranked team in the group. Bi Kikere had announced her intention to use the qualifiers to experiment with different line-ups and this game saw 5 first-team members resting, with two back-up strikers and the back-up goalkeeper. Defender Alex David was named captain for the match.

[code:1:41af00d877]
Gamboa

Tiro Bibere David Karto

Mustafa Santos van Esterik

Loro Cavaco Sutan
[/code:1:41af00d877]

The Crocs scored early off a corner taken by Santos that went in off the long legs of Donna Loro in the 11th minute and were not seriously challenged for the rest of the match. David Cavaco added a second goal just before the half. There was a brief score when Gamboa let in a soft goal, but the Crocs soon clamped down and never allowed another chance.

Final score: Tanah Burung 2 Copiosa Scotia 1
Loro 11, Cavaco 42

OOC: Why are all my matches lost?

OOC: Looks like this isn't our year. Must have offended the random number gods somehow.

Quite a drop from best defense in the league, though. Somebody is so fired... 8)

[OOC: Oh, yeah, the latest round of results is much better. Doesn't break my suspension of disbelief the way day 2 did.]

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini has not recovered from its recent slump, ending their latest qualifying match with a 2-2 draw with Northern Kings. Head Coach Mr. Hurr, "I'm not disillusioned or disappointed but I'm convinced we will win again. This World Cup qualifying is full of surprises."

Meanwhile, in the Brazillico World Tour: After beating Squornshelous by a single goal, everyone thought tiny Kaze Progressa would be mincemeat for the top-ranked side. But would they be?

The following is the contents of the televised highlights with Rua Meshal and Eaidlin Forca for Progressa Tele, Kaze Progressa's state-owned television station.

*Dario G - Carnaval De Paris plays over the stadium tannoy. Dance/trance music from Europe is popular in Kaze Progressa and this song has just been voted the national side's anthem.*
RM: Welcome to the stadium that is known as 'tiny but mighty' among locals, the 12,500 capacity K-Arena in the capital Kaza. It appears packed to capacity, though there might be a few empty seats.
EF: I see a few, in one of the corner stands. But this looks like a packed ground.
RM: We should get the attendance shortly.
EF: Yeah, the national barcode system should help reveal it. I think that's a bit of an invasion of privacy...
RM: Not as much as the use of CCTV, I say...
Announcer: Welcome to the K-Arena...
EF: Here's the announcement. Hush.
Announcer:... for Kaze Progressa vs Brazillico, in a friendly, part of the Brazillico World Tour. The attendance for this game is 12,479. This is a new stadium record.
RM: I'm not surprised, as this is the biggest game in this stadium's short history.
EF: Easily.
Announcer: The game shall now kick off.
*Fireworks are released from the stadium roof as Pinto kicks off*
RM: This is what we've been waiting for.
EF: Brazillico pass the ball around so slickly from the start, here's Suarez.
RM: As you'd expect from the world's best side. Gulia to Silica. Now it's Torres running onto a through ball, spins round Jaff, through to PINTO... deflected off MacKazie for an early corner.
EF: That's sheer style from Brazillicoo. MacKazie was fortunate there, being in the right place at the right time.
RM: Sorin takes it... punched away by Palera to SUAREZ... got underneath that. He had a go while the keeper was out of place but couldn't keep the volley down.
EF: But the fact he tried it says a lot for his quality. Would any of our guys try that?
RM: Awa might, but he's a showoff. That's why he's been kept on the bench.
EF: He can turn it on at any moment though.
RM: And off as well? Anyway, here's Vaiwalo-Mua, lobbing over Torres to Cebear Zarli. Pawu's running down the left flank in support, but Gulia stops the run... free kick though. Caught him from behind, says our ref Vladimir Jursev. He's come from Zihkav to be our impartial ref for this one.
EF: And he's made a good call there.
RM: Cebear Zarli is back up for the free kick. Crossed in to Irafma, Sorin heads it away, Suarez clears but only as far as Nuqazi. Now Vaiwalo-Mua. This is more like it from Kaze Progressa... square ball to PAWU! How close was that to a shock lead?
EF: Too close for the visitors. Seriously, about eight inches.
RM: You've been looking at that electronic screen too much Eaidlin.
EF: It's part of my job. I'm the analyst, y'know. You're the main 'action commentator'. You're noisy, I'm geeky. Know what I mean?
RM: Whatever you say Eaidlin.
(12mins)
RM: Tarezza knocks the ball away, only as far as Torres. Spinning past Nuqazi, now it's Jaff left dizzy, still Torres... PINTO... off the post... MacKazie smacks it clear! Goes out wide, but Eiau keeps it in play. Now Jaff. Back to Eiau... Silica gets a foot in, and he's away. Nobody covering on the wing, Jaff can't get back... crossed in... Garaz Zarli heads it behind for a corner.
EF: Hairy times for the home side. Brazillico are here to teach our guys how to turn on the style, and any budding players watching should take notes now.
RM: This isn't Kaza University.
EF: Well, no, but everyone should watch this keenly. I know I would.
RM: Anyway, Sorin to take it... and Pinto nods it wide!
EF: That was a real chance. I think Jaff put him off, but Palera was off his line and way out of position. He got away with it that time.
RM: But sooner or later he will be punished for those mistakes.
EF: Absolutely, with this attacking force.
RM: Here's Cebear Zarli anyway, and he's flying down the left wing. Lawson slides in, Cebear Zarli sidesteps... but seems to have taken the ball over the touchline. Throwin. But to Kaze Progressa! Somehow referee Jursev decided Lawson got a foot on that ball! While they argue, Cebear Zarli has thrown it in quickly to Irafma... real chance here for IRAFMA! Yes! Thirteen minutes gone, and Kaze Progressa have taken a totally unexpected lead! Well Eaidlin, we said it was going to take some fluke, but this takes the biscuit!
EF: I've seen weirder but not in a while. If we look at the replay... I don't think Lawson touched it... but then on the other hand I don't think all the ball went over the line!
*TV shows freeze frame of Cebear Zarli sidestepping Lawson, who just missed the ball. The edge of the ball is touching the sideline*
RM: That, to my eyes, wasn't a throwin to EITHER side! But we aren't complaining, though I can see Mercado in the Brazillico goal berating the referee, and I'm sure none of you are complaining at home because Kaze Progressa lead Brazillico in the K-Arena by a goal to nil...
(29mins)
RM: Kaze Progressa still lead Brazillico, due to a controversial goal from Faiwe Irafma, and it's Lawson on the right wing for Brazillico. Bursts past Vaiwalo-Mua, now it's Iban. He traps the ball, wheels it over to Lawson, lofted on towards Salazar... off his shoulder... great style from Salazar... and he's put it away! Salazar equalises for Brazillico on twenty-nine minutes, and how!
EF: Well this replay shows us how. He controls the lob off his right shoulder, turns around... you have to pity Jaff here, he's never seen style like this before. Then it's one stride, boom. The velocity on that shot... let me just check my screen...
RM: It was hard enough to beat Palera and that's all that matters. Irafma is already pushing forward from the kickoff, and has passed it wide to Vaiwalo-Mua... Roberto's half-asleep and beaten... crossed in but picked up by Mercado.
EF: He was just quicker to get into position than either striker, and outjumped them too.
(43mins)
RM: Lawson for Brazillico, dispossessed by Cebear Zarli... and Lawson elbows him. Free kick to Kaze Progressa... Jursev's coming over, and Lawson is swearing at him for the decision earlier that led to the Kaze Progressa goal!
EF: This is worrying... Lawson is losing his head!
RM: Cebear Zarli is walking away, as Jursev books Lawson. Cebear Zarli takes the free kick... high and long towards NUQAZI! Couldn't keep it down under pressure from Mercado, but a nice idea!
EF: Yeah, Mercado came out quickly trying to snatch the long ball himself. I think Sorin was rushing out for a desperate clearance anyway, if Nuqazi had lobbed the keeper with a soft header.
RM: Mercado knocks it long towards Silica on the left hand side. Jaff rushes forward, beaten for pace, Eiau covers near the corner, and Silica has to square it to Suarez on the edge of the box. Salazar is in the box, Pinto's moving in, SUAREZ... punched away by Palera... deflected off Eiau for a corner. Can Brazillico take advantage of this chance to finally take the lead? They haven't been as dominant as we thought Eaidlin.
EF: Absolutely not. We did have that great equaliser, but perhaps Brazillico are trying too hard to impress. It's not really a businesslike display, though we've enjoyed the clever touches of style from Salazar in particular.
RM: You're right Eaidlin. They haven't made the most of their technical ability. Sorin's corner is short to Silica. Played in low... off Eiau again for another corner.
EF: Eiau saw that sliding towards Pinto and did well to deflect it.
RM: Sorin hits it long this time, too long in fact, but Iban chases it. Iban crosses it in... Palera grabs it. Such safe hands there, with Pinto rushing in again.
EF: Absolutely.
RM: The fourth official signals two minutes of added time in this first half. Palera to Cebear Zarli. Back to Tarezza, who returns the favour. Cebear Zarli now on the left hand side, holding up the ball... is Lawson coming forward? Yes he is, and Cebear Zarli knocks the ball long towards Irafma right over his head! Kaze Progressa with a chance now... Irafma to Pawu... picked off by Sorin. Cleared out to the left hand side, Silica sidefoots it on the volley to Torres.
EF: That's amazing.
RM: Torres now running at Jaff, with Salazar in support, knocked towards Salazar... Palera was first to the loose ball.
EF: Over-ambitious play again... he went for the stylish through ball when a simple pass to feet would have worked better.
*Half time whistle blows*
RM: There's the half time whistle, and nobody would have seen this coming. A bizarre refereeing decision led to Kaze Progressa taking the lead on thirteen minutes courtesy of Faiwe Irafma after Lawson for Brazillico was adjudged to have knocked the ball into touch. We don't believe he touched it here, nor do we believe the whole of the ball crossed the line, but the throwin led to the goal. Justice could be argued to have been done for Brazillico sixteen minutes later when Salazar produced an outrageous bit of skill, controlling the ball on his shoulder before spinning past Jaff and smacking a thunderous shot home for the equaliser. And despite incessant Brazillico pressure, no more goals. The score here at the break is Kaze Progressa 1, Brazillico 1.
*after half-time*
RM: Welcome back to the K-Arena, where the Brazillico side on their global tour have been stunned by our inexperienced national side, who have played with no fear.
EF: And Brazillico have tried too hard. They felt they could knock in four or five and they've not only failed to get more than one, but they have conceded one too. However controversial it was.
RM: I don't care about how controversial the goal is, it counted and it created the biggest noise I've heard in a 12,500 seater stadium, ever. There's been a substitution in the break for Brazilica by the way - Lawson, involved in the incident with the Kaze Progressa goal and later booked, has been replaced by De Jesus.
EF: That's interesting. Brazilica are now packing their midfield in an attempt to take this game by the horns with the possession advantage.
RM: Well we'll see. Kickoff in the second half then, Pawu to Irafma. Now Pawu again, and Cebear Zarli...
(55mins)
RM: Mercado clears it. Silica flicks it on to De Jesus. There's space on the right, and De Jesus is running into it... Silica is moving forward on the left and Salazar is free in the box, but De Jesus is going it alone, past Jeff and Garaz Zarli, still De Jesus... WHAT A GOAL! The super sub runs through the whole bamboozled defense to score a wonder goal!
EF: He was given too much space to start with, but Jeff and Garaz Zarli were just stunned by a devious pair of side steps, in and out, past them like slalom poles, and a great shot into the top corner!
RM: He might not be a substitute for much longer with play like that! Back to reality now, it's Brazillico 2-1 up ten minutes into the second half.
(68mins)
RM: Silica on the left, where he's been so dangerous... stopped this time by Vaiwalo-Mua, who runs through into space. Nobody's there to stop him, now he squares it to Nuqazi. Irafma and Pawu are moving into the box, Nuqazi has a go... comes off Pawu's shoulder, Irafma gives chase... oh! He slid in for the loose ball and ended up kicking the goalie Mercado! The referee Jursev comes over, and yes, Irafma goes into the book.
EF: I think that's harsh. He made an innocent attempt to get the loose ball and it was a case of a nasty but innocent collision.
RM: Don't you get it Eaidlin? In Kaze Progressa, nasty collisions are never innocent!
(74mins)
RM: Here's De Jesus, juggling around, and Nuqazi knocks the ball out of the way with an elbow... bizarre way to concede a free kick. De Jesus knocks it down the left to Silica. Jeff and Eiau are nowhere, Silica crosses it in... Pinto mishits the header right at Palera.
EF: That was a good chance, he had enough time to aim that header better.
RM: I could've headed that in... well, maybe.
EF: We'll have to test that out.
RM: Whatever Eaidlin! Anyway, Irafma has it now and Kaze Progressa are breaking forward. Irafma carries on running, now feeds it at Cebear Zarli. Holding the ball up now while Pawu moves into the box, now lofting it in... headed away well by Sorin but only as far as Vaiwalo-Mua! Chance now... PAWU! Tipped away by Mercado quite brilliantly! Roberto and Vaiwalo-Mua both run for the same ball, and Roberto just gets there first... cleared right into Vaiwalo-Mua for a goal kick to Brazillico.
(89mins)
RM: Kaze Progressa are not giving up yet, here's Vaiwalo-Mua. Now Nuqazi. Cebear Zarli is running down the left in support, but Nuqazi backheels it to MacKazie. Now it's the long ball to Cebear Zarli. Gulia gives chase and deflects it wide for a throwin.
EF: That seemed quite a bizarre move but it's worth trying everything in attempts to get that equaliser.
RM: They'd better get a move on, because the fourth official has just signalled there's only one minute of injury time left, and it's almost begun. MacKazie has it now, now Cebear Zarli. Low cross to Pawu... intercepted well by Gulia. Now Brazillico can finish this off. Here's De Jesus, whose solo effort seperates the sides at this point, and he's beaten Nuqazi for pace now. Wide though this time to Iban. Tarezza chases after Iban... and catches him from behind for a free kick.
EF: They'll be in no hurry at all to take this one.
RM: Indeed they aren't. They'll just want to keep the ball until the whistle. Iban steps up and plays it short to De Jesus. Now Torres, and now Silica who has been voted man of the match.
EF: He has had a cracking game, torturing defenders down the left side. Jeff and Eiau have been helpless.
RM: They're helpless again as he shields the ball and wheels it out to Torres again. Now it's lofted at De Jesus, and Pinto's in space... played through to Pinto, only the keeper to beat... tries to chip Palera... Jeff slides in to clear the ball out of the box... and that's the whistle! A thrilling and unexpectedly competitive friendly ends, with Kaze Progressa completely unshamed by this performance.
EF: I have to agree with you there Rua - they can hold their heads up high and have proved they have the potential to go some way in the future.
RM: Ultimately it was super sub De Jesus, combined with Silica who has to be the deadliest left winger since Fidel Castro, who finished off the gallant hosts, but lest we forget, Kaze Progressa took the lead early on through Faiwe Irafma, despite a whiff of controversy about the goal due to a dispute over a throwin that ultimately led to the goal. That is left for debate, but the final score here at the K-Arena is Kaze Progressa 1, Brazillico 2.
Yes the score was randomly generated before I wrote the result. It gave me a minor heart attack restricting the top side to a 2-1 win.

OOC: I've sent you the next result.

News item from the The McKillops Bridge New Statesman:

http://www.newstatesman.com/graphics/ns/images/head_logo.gif

SHOCK REVELATIONS OF ANTARCTICAD DRUG USE

IT'S 2 ALL WITH LORDSQUALL

National football team captain / coach, fionar, shocked the nation today when she revealed at a press conference that star striker, antarcticad, was being investigated after testing positive for the banned substance, di-enviloid paranoiac acid, better known as depa. antarcticad has been stood down from the squad until further testing has been carried out.

Convenor of the Errinundrian Football Association, mountd, expressed disappointment in the test results. "If antarcticad is found to have been in breach of our association's strict drug laws then we won't hesitate to apply the appropriate penalty. The maximum under our code is life suspension from the game."

We approached eminent chemist, inyourf, to ask him precisely what depa did. "Well it IS a banned substance," he said, "in the horse racing industry. They ban it because it can be used to nobble horses before a race. I'm not aware of it being a banned substance in football. I fail to see what overall benefit it could provide."

But how does it effect the user? "It speeds up the temporal perception of the subject. That is, thoughts and reactions are faster than usual. It's as if everything around is slowed down. This may sound as if it would be of enormous benefit to a sportsperson by allowing them extra opportunity to make decisions and react. There are three nasty complications, however. First, the obvious one is that an inexperienced user becomes unco-ordinated and clumsy as the brain is out of synch with a body that is still travelling at normal speed, so to speak. Second, injuries are almost inevitable as the subject's mind tries to push their body beyond its abilities. Third, the body's metabolism gets very confused and organs start to do weird things. In antarcticad's case it seems his stomach tried to digest itself."

Investigations by The New Statesman reveals that depa is made from the stamen of the tropical insect eating Atauro plant. It is known to occur in Tanah Burung and that is the likely source of antarcticad's supply. Residents of the Wetar district of Tanah Burung enjoy its mind-altering effects during highly ritualized ceremonies.

We have sought a comment from antarcticad but he has not been available since the scandal broke.

antarcticad has been sorely missed by the team as, once again, the Errinundrians had a disappointing game against another unranked side, this time LordSquall. The national side got off to a great start when oreadest, having a marvellous series, scored in the seventh minute. From then on, though, the visitors took control of the game. Goals were scored in the 53rd and 56th minutes and it seemed that the visitors would keep control until the final whistle. The partisan crowd sang their football lament, "We won't cry for you, Errinund'ra" as the end approached. Then, longipesp, unsighted throughout the match, popped up in the 86th minute with the most graceful swan-dive you could imagine to head the ball into the net for the equalizer.

Despite the disappointing result star striker, oreadest, was thrilled with his own performance. "It's been great. I've finally been given the room to move around at will. I don't want to miss this opportunity to show what I can do while antarcticad is unfortunately sidelined." Speaking of unfortunate, we also asked him about his choice of hairstyle. "It's the stand out hairstyle of WC6." Yeah. And the pope endorses contraceptives.

When asked about the team's performance so far, the captain / coach, fionar, admitted that the pressures on the team this time round were far greater. "Last world cup we were unrated and no-one expected us to win. Now we are ranked 17th and we're expected to win every match. This is a sensational side and we all play football as if it were dancing - we want to enjoy ourselves and to score."

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND WORLD CUP QUALIFYING

NEWS UPDATE

Liverpool England bottom of group, 0 points from 9

The match against Timway ended in a surprising 1-0 defeat for the home team, who now have lost three on the run, securing zero out of nine points. However, the team still has 11 games to play in the qualifying stages.

They host The Free Land of Errinundera in the next World Cup Game at the National Stadium in Folenisa, barely 100 kilometres away from the Liverpool England Grand Prix Circuit 1 in Orean.

The Free Land of Errinundera is expected to dominate the match, however critics say LE can pull off a surprise victory, and comeback in the group. Currently, Total n Utter Insanity lead Group One with Quohog and Timway following close behind.

Predictions from the fans out on the street?
We conducted a poll, and the results are:

20% of those polled felt The Free Land of Errinundera were likely to win
31% felt it would be a draw
49% felt that LE would win, of which
15% said it would be a one-goal margin
34% said it would be by a two-or-more goal margin.

No offense but the current way of finding the winner needs to be changed. Far too many unranked nations are winning against and scoring far too many goals against high ranked teams.

Look at group 8, the ranked teams are at the bottom. and when an unranked nation wins against a ranked nation the scored are well too inflated

That's why I was making a new formula, but K had other plans...

That's why I was making a new formula, but K had other plans...

Ok, well atleast it's being addressed.

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When we try to explain how we feel
That we still your love after all that you've done

You won't believe us
All we will see is a team we once knew
Although they're dressed in team colours
And gazing at the World Cup

We had to let it happen, you had to change
Couldn't stay all your life down at heel
Looking out from the qualifiers, staying out of the final

So we chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed us at all
We never expected it to

Chorus1:
We won't cry for you, Errinund'ra
Your soul is with us
Your whole team, you dedicate to us
Don't keep your distance

You need us


And as for fortune, and as for fame
We never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all you desired

They are illusions
They're not the solutions they promise to be
The answer was here all the time
We love you and hope you love us

Chorus1
Chorus2:
We won't cry for you, Errinund'ra
We have never left you
Although in silence, our souls cry to you
Now and forever
We are Errinund'ra

So we chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed us at all
We never expected it to

Chorus1
Chorus2

Have we said too much?
There's nothing more we can think of to say to you.
But all we have to do is look at you to know
That every word is true


:cry:

Red Dot Triumphs as Past Foe Falls

I am Stu Dyogai and this is the Red Dot Sports Update. Cheers sounded from the lands of One Red Dot as the nation has secured its first wins after two monotonous draws. This has brought One Red Dot from a tie with four other nations to a third place in the table.

An impressive goal from Francis DURSLEY brought One Red Dot out of a 62 goaless yet exciting minutes filled with many tackles and kicks from both teams that wanted to pull out from the bottom of the group.

Tonight, we have Mr David Joel, Assistant Coach of the One Red Dot International World Cup Squad.

SG: Firstly David, Congratulations on the win.

DJ: Thank you very much.

SG: The second thing I'll like to speak about was your prediction the last time you were here. Let's look at the video footage.

(VidFtg) DJ: "we hope that in our next match against Ravenspire whom we had fought against in the World Cup qualifiers, we will knock them down."

SG: Did you say it because you believed in your players or was it because they have been at the bottom for two days at that time, although they are seeded higher?

DJ: I'd say both. Ravenspire hasn't been doing well at all, which is kind of sad but what really fascinates me is seeing 4 totally new teams grabbing the top 5 spaces. So far, it has been a season with many surprises.

SG: Perhaps the more expereinced teams have expired already? After all it has already been 6 long World Cups already. 24 years.

DJ: Nah, of course not. If you compare Group 8 with rest, you will see something totally different from ours. Seeded teams are doing very well. Anyway, I promised during pre-game that we will enter the Round-of-16 and I don't intend to break it.

SG: Thank you Mr. Joel for your time here.

DJ: It's my pleasure.

This is Stu Dyogai speaking and this has been the One Red Dot Sports Update. Good Night.

Current TnUI Stats

Total n Utter Insanity 2 Liverpool England 1
Hill 16
Samit 43

LordSquall 2 Total n Utter Insanity 7
Junn 14, 57
Hill 19, 24, 35
Zurk 43
Canny 87

Total n Utter Insanity 3 Hegemonia Polska 1
Woor 34
Hill 56
Canny 76

Leading Goal Scorers
Hill 5
Junn 2
Canny 2
Woor 1
Zurk 1
Samit 1

TIMWAY REMAINS UNDEFEATED IN FIRST WORLD CUP!

Timway's national Tigers remained undeafeated in WC qualifying in defeating Liverpool England yesterday 1-0 behind a stellar performance from GK and team captain Anton Carlsson. Bobby Fleist scored the games only goal, a header in the 36th minute. Carlsson made eight saves overall, including six in the second half, to take man of the match honors. As Timway sits in third in Group 1, Coach Alphonse Netko cannot help but wonder how his team will fare against the group's ranked teams. "TnUI and Quohog will definately be a challenge, but our new 5-3-2 formation has definately improved our defense. I'm looking for big things against Lord Squall so we can build momentum before encountering the group's top teams."

Audioslavia in seven goal thriller

OK so the term "seven goal thriler" isnt exactly unheard of in this day and age, with revolutions in attacking play leaving the old-fashinoned defencive tactics in the dust for the time being. Yesterday saw Audioslavia's important away game against Porvoo end in a 4-3 win for the 'slaves.

Porvoo, widely regarded (ok, so regarded by Tanah Burung) as being a dark-horse of the group, started the game with the upper hand as they stole into a two-goal lead after 20 minutes. The 'slaves hit back through a somewhat flukey 30 yard lob by Benson, but failed to get a foothold on the game. By half time the slaves were 2-1 down and it really should have been more. After an unusually long time in the dressing room, the Audioslavian team emerged from the tunnel with a new sense of anger and urgency. Some say this was due to the inclusions of numbers 18 and 20, Morello and De La Rocha, but its more likely that the anger was created by the manager taking the traditional "half-time spliff" from the players.

Whichever cause you believe, it worked, as the 'slaves equalised after the break with a stunnign header by Hedges and another header by Numbwan. Audioslavia took control and scored another through one Zach De La Rocha, probably generating the biggest cheer from the away supporters.

Porvoo grabbed one back in the 85th minute to set up a frantic finalé but it was too little too late. Final Score:
Porvoo 3 - 4 Audioslavia

The 'slaves move into second in the table level with _AMP who held them 3-3 last week.

In the 2nd of three games against ranked teams, Mezitzia loses 2-1. Players and coaches cited a lack of defensive skill for the loss, but word on the streets of Zadok blames bad referees. :wink:

On gameday four they are to play TnUI, ranked #7 in the world. After that game, coaches and players alike expect an easier road for a few games after that.

Although fiercely patriotic, the citizens of Mezitzia are not too keen about plaing a very highly ranked team. Only 5% believe the national team has a chance. So much for support.

The Mezitzians are hoping for an even game, and are putting in an extra defender to further shield the goal.

Matchday 4 results

Group 1
TnUI 0 - Mezitzia 2
Liverpool England 1 - Errinundera 1
Timway 4 - LordSquall 2
Quohog 6 - Hegemonia Polska 1

Group 2
Porvoo 4 - Starving Children 1
Iuthia 2 - Great White Sharks 2
_AMP 2 - Cobra Cult 3
Jay Cutter 1 - Audioslavia 4

Group 3
Oglethorpia 2 - BK_Samurai 0
Northern Kings 1 - La Darien 2
Gian Zucchini 0 - Dark Outcasts 2
Albion Soviets 1 - Eauz 3

Group 4
Communation 2 - Nevershadow 0
Pure Evil 1 - Lunatic Goofballs 2
Tha Machine 1 - Futililia 1
The Belmore Family 2 - VA Industrialized 1

Group 5
Nova Polonia 3 - Whorecore 3
Copiosa Scotia 3 - Benjibouti 2
Tanah Burung 4 - Shaw Heath 1
Bubbasa the Great 0 - Snub Nose 38 1

Group 6
The Midnight Armies 1 - Alhana Catherine 4
Aquilla 1 - Runaway Moose 2
Haraki 0 - Bedistan 0
Christofi 2 - Ironchefk 1

Group 7
Aves 0 - Tintinnabulation 1
Tiburon 2 - Vegemite 0
Halfassedstates 1 - Dead Man 1
Malundar 1 - Pavesia 1

Group 8
Dennisov 1 - Ravenspire 1
Jurimaxistan 1 - Busby 2
Australian Marsupials 0 - Gesamkuntswerk 1
One Red Dot 1 - Crimson Sparta 1

Group 9
The Lowland Clans 1 - Avina 2
Akbarland 4 - Chakra 2
Lomina 4 - Rave Shentavo 2
Dannland 3 - Darkseed 3

Matchday 4 results
TnUI 0 - Mezitzia 2


Fix!

The Belmore Family 2 - VA Industrialized 1

Yes, 4 wins out of 4!

After killing the opposition in the first three matches, TnUI encountered what can only be called resistance while playing at Mezitzia. Unable to pass their defence the manager threw men forward, but left gaps at the back. Quick counter attacks sealed the match for Mezitzia as they won 2-0.

[code:1:fbbb46ca91]
Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 4 4 0 0 17 7 +10 12
Total n Utter Insanity 4 3 0 1 12 6 +6 9
Timway 4 2 2 0 11 8 +3 8
Mezitzia 4 2 1 1 8 6 +2 7
Errinundera 4 1 2 1 8 6 +2 5
Liverpool England 4 0 1 3 6 9 -3 1
Hegemonia Polska 4 0 1 3 6 16 -10 1
LordSquall 4 0 1 3 7 17 -10 1
[/code:1:fbbb46ca91]

Next match: Errinundera, Away.

DAILY CROCODILE
An interview with Tanah Burung coach Bi Kikere

Q. You played the most attack-minded formatioon in Crocodiles history against the only undeafeated team in the group. What were you thinking?

BK: I've said all along i'd use the qualifiers as practice. Apart from Snub Nose 20, we might as well be playing the Matebian Snorkelling XI. I'm happy with the defence, bugt we need to generate more goals once we reach the Cup this year. Thus the 3-3-4 formation.

Q. It looks like it paid off. Has anyone guaranteed themselves a spot on the team?

BK: Well, Ab Francisco is my captain, so he's in, and another goal today didn't hurt. Two goals for David Cavaco brings his total to five goals in four games. Van Esterik is looking good in the midfield and scored another boomer today. Gamboa allowed another goal today, but that's acceptable given the half-strength defence in front of him. And da Gama was a stalwart in goal in the second half: he's yet to let the other side get past him.

Q. Any threats among the other teams in the group?

BK: (laughs) I am not worried. We are now 4-0, Shaw Heath and Snub Nose 20 are 3-1, but we've beaten them both already. The march to Kingsford is going as planned.

Final score: Tanah Burung 4 Shaw Heath 1
Cavaco 12, 63, Francisco 37, ?? 41, van Esterik 59

Current standings after matchday 4:

[code:1:97ea3874d6]Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 4 4 0 0 17 7 +10 12
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 4 3 0 1 12 6 +6 9
Timway 4 2 2 0 11 8 +3 8
Mezitzia 4 2 1 1 8 6 +2 7
Errinundera (17) 4 1 2 1 8 6 +2 5
Liverpool England 4 0 1 3 6 9 -3 1
LordSquall 4 0 1 3 7 17 -10 1
Hegemonia Polska 4 0 1 3 6 16 -10 1

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia (40) 4 3 1 0 13 7 +6 10
Porvoo 4 3 0 1 17 10 +7 9
_AMP 4 2 1 1 12 10 +2 7
Cobra Cult 4 2 0 2 10 13 -3 6
Great White Sharks 4 1 1 2 7 8 -1 4
Jay Cutter 4 1 1 2 8 11 -3 4
Starving Children 4 1 1 2 8 12 -4 4
Iuthia 4 0 1 3 8 12 -4 1

Group 3 P W D L F A GD Pts
Oglethorpia (13) 4 3 1 0 10 5 +5 10
Eauz 4 3 0 1 8 5 +3 9
La Darien (36) 4 2 1 1 7 5 +2 7
Dark Outcasts (42) 4 2 0 2 9 8 +1 6
Giant Zucchini (10) 4 1 1 2 6 7 -1 4
Albion Soviets 4 1 1 2 9 11 -2 4
Northern Kings 4 0 3 1 10 11 -1 3
BK_Samurai 4 0 1 3 1 8 -7 1

Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 4 4 0 0 13 5 +8 12
Communation 4 2 1 1 11 9 +2 7
VA Industrialized 4 2 1 1 8 6 +2 7
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 4 2 0 2 6 5 +1 6
Nevershadow 4 2 0 2 6 7 -1 6
Pure Evil (22) 4 1 1 2 6 8 -2 4
Tha Machine 4 0 2 2 4 7 -3 2
Futililia 4 0 1 3 6 13 -7 1

Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung (8) 4 4 0 0 11 2 +9 12
Shaw Heath 4 3 0 1 7 6 +1 9
Snub Nose 38 (20) 4 3 0 1 9 2 +7 9
Bubbasa the Great 4 1 1 2 5 7 -2 4
Benjibouti 4 1 0 3 7 11 -4 3
Copiosa Scotia (50) 4 1 1 2 9 10 -1 4
Whorecore 4 0 2 2 8 12 -4 2
Nova Polonia 4 0 2 2 7 13 -6 2

Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 4 4 0 0 8 2 +6 12
Aquilla 4 2 0 2 6 7 -1 6
The Midnight Armies 4 2 0 2 7 10 -3 6
Alhana Catherine (48) 4 1 2 1 9 7 +2 5
Haraki (29) 4 1 2 1 8 6 +2 5
Christofi (28) 4 1 2 1 5 5 0 5
Ironchefk (9) 4 1 0 3 5 7 -2 3
Bedistan (27) 4 0 2 2 3 7 -4 2

Group 7 P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates (49) 4 3 1 0 11 5 +6 10
Dead Man (58) 4 2 2 0 10 5 +5 8
Pavesia 4 1 2 1 9 9 0 5
Malundar 4 1 2 1 7 8 -1 5
Aves 4 1 1 2 6 7 -1 4
Tiburon 4 1 1 2 4 6 -2 4
Tintinnabulation 4 1 1 2 7 11 -4 4
Vegemite 4 0 2 2 7 10 -3 2

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
Busby 4 2 1 1 7 5 +2 7
Australian Marsupials 4 2 0 2 5 4 +1 6
One Red Dot (30) 4 1 3 0 5 4 +1 6
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 4 1 3 0 5 4 +1 6
Crimson Sparta 4 1 2 1 5 4 +1 5
Jurimaxistan 4 1 2 1 7 7 0 5
Dennisov (14) 4 0 4 0 6 6 0 4
Ravenspire (24) 4 0 1 3 2 8 -6 1

Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Darkseed 4 2 1 1 9 7 +2 7
Lomina 4 2 1 1 9 7 +2 7
Akbarland 4 2 1 1 10 9 +1 7
Chakra (70) 4 2 1 1 9 8 +1 7
Dannland 4 1 2 1 9 9 0 5
Rave Shentavo 4 1 2 1 8 9 -1 5
Avina 4 1 1 2 6 9 -3 4
The Lowland Clans 4 0 1 3 5 8 -3 1[/code:1:97ea3874d6]

[Music plays in the background. A series of highlight clips from the Bedistan-Tanah Burung match in the first round of WC5 is shown. After a while, footage switches to scenes from the recent Bedistan-Runaway Moose match, showing a goalkeeper having multiple shots sent past her and into the net. The music draws to a close and the BSTV logo appears. Camera zooms in on a desk.]

Sam: Good afternoon, folks. This is the BSTV World Cup qualifying post-game show, and I'm Sam Murphy, in here alongside my good buddy Joey Stanton. How ya doing today, Joey?

Joey: Well, I'm not quite so sure those burritos I ate a little while back are agreeing with me, but I'll refrain from talking about that.

Sam: Please do. Let's talk business. Of course, the game against Haraki just finished up, and it ended up in a scoreless tie.

Joey: Yes it did, and I'm sad to say, that's actually an improvement over what our team's done so far.

Sam: Unfortunately so. Neither team really got very many scoring opportunities, though Haraki did have a couple of good ones.

[footage rolls]

Joey: Here you see a Haraki midfielder with the ball...Weiss trying to take it away from him, but he can't get it and the mid makes a powerful kick, but Bream was on the ball today...pun not intended...and easily sent it out, giving Haraki a corner kick.

[camera goes back to desk]

Sam: So, that brings our record so far to 0-2-2. We've certainly done better, but I guess it's not too bad.

Joey: That is, until you look at the full Group 6 standings.

[code:1:5133b06e71]Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 4 4 0 0 8 2 +6 12
Aquilla 4 2 0 2 6 7 -1 6
The Midnight Armies 4 2 0 2 7 10 -3 6
Alhana Catherine (48) 4 1 2 1 9 7 +2 5
Haraki (29) 4 1 2 1 8 6 +2 5
Christofi (28) 4 1 2 1 5 5 0 5
Ironchefk (9) 4 1 0 3 5 7 -2 3
Bedistan (27) 4 0 2 2 3 7 -4 2[/code:1:5133b06e71]

Sam: Oh, that's pitiful.

Joey: Yes. Thank whatever deity you happen to worship that there's still ten games to go.

Sam: But of course, we're not the only ones experiencing worse performance than we expected.

Joey: Yeah, actually I can think of about four other teams right now...

Sam: Well, first, there's Errinundera -- one of the hottest new teams from World Cup 5, ranked 17th going into WC6. Second-highest seed in their group, which contains five unranked teams, I might add, and yet they're currently ranked fifth.

Joey: Well, considering the whole drug fiasco surrounding antarcticad that's keeping him out of play, that's probably having some effect on the team's performance, I would think.

Sam: Yeah, probably. Next on the list is Giant Zucchini.

Joey: Giant Zucchini took home World Cup 3 and have always been a great team. Ranked #10 this year, they're the highest seed in Group 3, but they too are currently in fifth place with a 1-1-2 record. It seems that Urk and the boys haven't quite gotten up to speed yet here.

Sam: In Group 6, we've already mentioned the tribulations of our own team, but there's another team in the group who could possibly be considered to have even worse luck so far.

Joey: Ironchefk, another new team from last Cup, made it all the way into the second round, which was sufficient to give them a rank of 9th. They're the highest seed in the group, but luck has certainly not been on their side, as they're ranked just above us in seventh.

Sam: Finally, we have Dennisov. The WC4 champions exited World Cup 5 a bit earlier than they would have liked, dropping out in the second round and giving them a 14th seed for WC6. Still, they're the highest seed in Group 8, but they, like Ironchefk, are seventh in their group.

Joey: Now, on the positive side, I have seen two teams that are doing exceptionally well.

Sam: Indeed, Joey. Group 3 was a difficult qualifying group in World Cup 5 -- you'll remember we were in it -- and this team finished fifth in that group, only good enough for a 47th ranking. WC6 results, though, show that they have so far overcome their apparent handicap, and The Belmore Family resides at the very top of Group 4 right now, ahead of such teams as Lunatic Goofballs and Pure Evil. They're on a roll right now, and I look for it to continue.

Joey: But the big story is Audioslavia! The 'slaves had, without question, the absolute worst luck in WC5 qualifying. Ranked 11th at the time, they dropped out in the fourth-place playoff with a loss to Moyk, and their rank fell all the way to 40th. Well, now they're 3-1-0, perched atop Group 2. I think Audioslavia is finally returning to its former glory.

Sam: Let's hope so, Joey. We're out of time now, so it's time to say goodbye for now. And don't forget to tune in tomorrow at 10:30 AM for the Lions' second home game against the equally beleaguered Ironchefk. We'll see you then! For now, I'm Sam Murphy for Joey Stanton signing off.

[screen fades]

No offense but the current way of finding the winner needs to be changed. Far too many unranked nations are winning against and scoring far too many goals against high ranked teams.

Look at group 8, the ranked teams are at the bottom. and when an unranked nation wins against a ranked nation the scored are well too inflated

I said much the same thing during WC5. Not everyone agreed. They raised some good points, and I decided that I no longer have a strong opinion on the subject. But, if Lemmitania and Audioslavia host WC7, I intend to rewrite the formula. If someone else hosts, perhaps they'll use TnUI's modified formula that Bedistan tested. I'm just using KF's formula here; he's host, I'm just doing the scores while he's away.

.....final whistle blows in the Jay Cutter national stadium

Well, your thoughts on the game Bob?

it was ace, we scored loadsa goals and they didnt, so we won

Its true, anwyay, this has been a channel, bye

Jay Cutter 1 - 4 Audioslavia

News item from the Ellery Camp Pravda

http://newsfromrussia.com/new/images/head_08_a.gif

DRUG SCANDAL WIDENS
oreadest implicated

FROM OUR TANAH BURUNG CORRESPONDENT HEMLANI

The sleepy village of Palibo in the steamy jungles of Wetar is an unlikely setting for a scandal that is rocking Errinundera and fascinating football lovers of all nations. Yet it is here that I have tracked down the dealer who sold the illicet depa that has left antarcticad's career in ruins.

In a sensational development however, the dealer, Nosi Danang, insists that he sold the mind-altering drug, not to antarcticad, but to his team-mate, oreadest. "I don't remember the fellow's name," claims Nosi, "but I remember he had bright red hair sticking out in all directions." The dealer is absolutely clear on this. "Definitely red hair. How can I not remember that? antarcticad had green hair and the other guy had red hair. It was definitely the guy with red hair."

I approached filthyl, Errinundera's Protector of Sport, who was visiting the village Findabaya as part of arrangements to set up a sister relationship with Ellery Camp. "This is diabolical," said a clearly worried protector. "How widespread has this drug use become? I have already ordered that all Gorilla team members who visited Tanah Burung as well as any others in the current World Cup squad be tested forthwith. Depa is a residual poison so it should be a simple matter of detecting its presence in the blood stream. The good thing, I suppose, is that only antarcticad has displayed the side effects of the drug." But what of oreadest? "No, he hasn't shown any symptoms," said the protector, "but we will have to wait for the blood tests to be sure."

To get a better idea of the effects of depa Nosi has provided me......

[code:1:a1497859d6]
GROUP H W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jurassica 2 0 1 8 6 2 6
Audioslavia 1 2 0 7 6 1 4
Europa Brittania 1 1 1 4 4 0 3
Kingsford 0 1 2 6 9 -3 1
[/code:1:a1497859d6]

those were the days, yes :)

KM: ...And in sports news, finally a glimmer of hope in the World Cup as Ravenspire's team manages a draw against higher-ranked Dennisov.

MB: Well, Kath, we did mention that Ravenspire has a history of upsets. Hopefully this will kickstart the team's play. There are a lot of games left, and the spread at the moment is only six points, so there's a fair chance of recovering if the boys and girls can pull together and play like they did in the last few Cups.

KM: And if they can't?

MB: Then we're this year's Audioslavia, Kath.

KM: What about Zhen Sui-Ling? It's been four games, and the star has yet to make an onfield appearance.

MB: Still no word, Kath, but I understand that the team's manager had been fired, and is to be replaced mid-competition. Now, a firing based on the team's poor performance might be expected, but normally, you would see the manager at least finish out the qualifiers. There's always the chance things would improve. But they've gone ahead with the termination, so it seems there's something else going on than simply poor performance. Whatever it is, you can bet we'll get to the bottom of it.

KM: And how about the rest of the tournament?

MB: Well, the next game or two is crucial. As I said, we're only two games behind the top teams, but we're also a full game behind the seventh-place team, Dennisov. We need to narrow that gap. We'll also probably need at least one stunning victory, to chop down our goal differential -- that fiasco against Busby hurt. Look for a change in play style under the new management, maybe not by the next game, but certainly by the one after that.

KM: Meanwhile, in baseball, the scheduled match between the Tempest and the Samurai was 'sunned out', as temperatures reached nearly 50 degrees (122 F), a record high. The heat wave in the area is expected to last for...

Kathryn Malley and Michael Black, reporting for RNN

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND WORLD CUP QUALIFYING

NEWS UPDATE

TEAM MANAGES DRAW AGAINST ERRINUNDERA

The Liverpool England team yesterday scored their first point at home after a good match in which ranked Errinundera failed to capitalise on the slightly weak defending, as TnUI, Quohog and Timway have.

The coach, Jim Whites, was ecstatic at the post-match news conference. "It was a good day for us, some of the guys recovered from the flu to play in the match, which ultimately gives us a glimmer of hope, bringing us off the bottom of the group, albeit on Goal Difference, the Errinundera team played very well and tested the boys, but we managed to pull a draw off, the nation should be celebrating the point [right] now!"

The team, now third-from-bottom in the group, have one point from a possible 12 and have a superior goal difference of -3 over LordSquall (GD -10 GF 7) and
Hegemonia Polska (GD -10 GF 6).

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND WORLD CUP 6 QUALIFYING

NEWS REPORT 4

Mezitzia a threat? Never!, says coach Whites

Liverpool England, who have one point from four games, host Mezitzia at the City Centre Cats' stadium the Capitol Arena Stadium on Tuesday.

Mezitzia, who are unranked, are currently just above Liverpool England in Group One with 10 games to play. Coach Jim Whites believes LE can get at least 15 points out of 30 in their remaining matches, and admits that Mezitzia was never a threat.

Liverpool England are currently sixth in the group of eight.

I am number two! I cannot believe it!

What does PWDLFAGD mean in the code tags?

I am number two! I cannot believe it!

Yeah, yeah....just wait till my team decides to wake up and utterly trashes you :P

What does PWDLFAGD mean in the code tags?

P = games played
W = wins
D = draws
L = losses
F = goals for (goals scored)
A = goals against
GD = goal difference (F - A)

[entire post OOC]

For WC7, might we want to think about some way to let teams specialize in defence or offence based on their history, like Ravenspire & TB traditionally allowing very few goals?

That sounds like a great idea to me. Perhaps I or someone else could figure out a way to incorporate that...

I've decided to further look into this idea and have compiled a comprehensive list of the offensive and defensive records of every team that has participated in the World Cup all the way back to the beginning of WC1 (that's why I requested the WC4 tables -- much appreciated).

The document showing my findings, compiled from all available match results through the end of World Cup 5, can be found here (http://members.aol.com/harleyt1387/GoalAnalysis.doc). In it, I also define a couple of new stats -- Offensive Rating and Defensive Rating. Those are explained in the document, though it doesn't explain what they're used for. I'll get to that in just a second.

Perhaps teams with offensive tendencies (traditionally) could have one or two more attacks for and against them and the traditional defensive sides have one or two fewer attacks for and against. Or we could change values in some of the formulae.

Some of this suggestion has been incorporated into my new idea. The new idea basically throws all conventional wisdom totally out the window and starts fresh.

The Offensive Rating, which ranges from 400 to 1566 with the existing teams, is used to determine how many attacks a team can have. It basically works like this:

OR 0-299: 5 attacks
OR 300-399: 6 attacks
OR 400-549: 7 attacks
OR 550-749: 8 attacks
OR 750-999: 9 attacks
OR 1000-1299: 10 attacks
OR 1300-1649: 11 attacks
OR 1650-2049: 12 attacks
OR 2050-2499: 13 attacks
OR 2500-2999: 14 attacks
OR 3000+: 15 attacks

Therefore, existing teams would have anywhere from 7 to 11 attacks, depending on their OR, but the system allows for a greater range.

The Defensive Rating determines the possibility of an opposing attack being successful. Defensive Ratings currently range from 625 to 3400, with one team's DR incalculable due to having allowed no goals (can't divide by 0). My initial use of the DR resulted in far too many goals being scored, but I've revised it a bit. The scale is not linear. After some testing, I came up with this:

ChanceOfAllowingGoal = (38 * e^(-0.0009 * DefensiveRating)) / 100

where e = 2.71828......

As such, the current lowest DR (625) would allow a goal on 21.65% of attacks, while the highest (3400, but capped at 3000) would allow a goal on 2.55% of attacks.

Note that both OR and DR are capped at 250 on the lower end and 3000 on the upper end.

An example of how this would work:
TnUI vs. Lemmitania

TnUI has an OR of 794 and a DR of 2011 (note that for both of these, 1000 is considered average).
Lemmitania has an OR of 989 and a DR of 1378.

Therefore, both teams would have nine attacks (since both teams have an OR of 750-999). TnUI would allow 6.22% of attacks to score and Lemmitania would allow 10.99% of attacks.

A five-game test produced these results:
TnUI 1 Lemmitania 1
TnUI 0 Lemmitania 2
TnUI 1 Lemmitania 2
TnUI 0 Lemmitania 1
TnUI 3 Lemmitania 1

Whew, that was a long-winded post. Anyone have any comments or suggestions? I'm thinking about possibly altering the attack values to compensate for the fact that the overall range of ORs is a good deal lower than the range of DRs. :?

Whew, that was a long-winded post. Anyone have any comments or suggestions? I'm thinking about possibly altering the attack values to compensate for the fact that the overall range of ORs is a good deal lower than the range of DRs. :?

[OOC: I think a big part of the problem there is that some teams with only a couple of games to their credit have very high defense because they've only allowed a couple of goals in those games. Similarly, a nation might have a very low defense because it allowed a lot of goals in those couple of games. Maybe adjust both offense and defense toward the 1000 norm for teams that have played fewer than, say, 15 games?

As an alternative, perhaps allow one extra attack all around, capping OR at 2500+.]

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini was stunned to a 2-0 loss to Dark Outcasts. Suddenly, the thought of Giant Zucchini not qualifying for the World Cup became a possible reality. Head Coach Mr. Hurr, "This is a very disappointing, possibly devastating result. We have returned to our disaster days back in WC 1 & 2. We can only wait in hope that the players get their act back together."

OOC: It looks a bit complicated, and how come I let in more goals with a better defence?

Lemmitania I understand that some nations like the forumal but it's very wrong. Unranked nations are far too easily defeating high ranked nationsm, Look at Group 8 for example.

It doesn't matter what nations say if it's highly unrealistic it should be changed. And why are so many teams in Automatically?

[Many excellent things]

Can I make a further suggestion for qualifiers: that there be a home ground advantage.

A classic example in real life is Australia's performance against the much stronger Uruguay in the World Cup in 2002. Australia was very competitive in Melbourne but reality bit in Uruguay.

It would simply be a matter of giving the home side one or two extra attacks.

In the qualifiers this would make necessary home and away legs between side as is happening in WC6.

Perhaps it should also apply for the World Cup proper. Think of Korea, France and the US in recent tournaments.

:)

*gives up*

*gives up*

What's wrong? :roll:

A five-game test produced these results:
TnUI 1 Lemmitania 1
TnUI 0 Lemmitania 2
TnUI 1 Lemmitania 2
TnUI 0 Lemmitania 1
TnUI 3 Lemmitania 1

Hee hee hee, take that TnUI!

There are loads of people each with there own opinion of what to do, I want a general consensus and standardization, if that makes sense.

Bedistan--

1. Excellent work collecting the stats. I'm impressed by that alone.

2. How did you come to the 1.75 conclusion? Is this the average # of goals per side per game? I know I could answer that myself by doing the math, but I don't have excel on the machine I'm looking at your stats on.

3. Check your TGs for further discussion.

Dear mumsi,

I heard a couple of fascinating things while the team was touring Liverpool England.

The first strange thing happened when we were taken on an official tour of the Liverpool England NationStates exchange building. It houses their stock exchange etc etc. When looking the SX over we noticed a restricted area identified as the Nations Exchange Centre.

handesydek asked our guide what it was. John Nec, the guide, said that it was in those premises that Liverpool England bought and sold nations.

fionar: You buy, own and sell other countries?

John Nec: Yes, we buy, own and sell other nations. Only last week we were outbid in our effort to buy Drunks & Children.

handesydek: What do the inhabitants think?

John Nec: What they think is unimportant so long as they are healthy and productive and provide a good return on investment.

sandrab: How do you get control of them?

John Nec: Sometimes we use our military to assume control. For example Oddslavo...

fionar: You invade them?

John Nec: We wouldn't describe it that way. In the case of Oddslavo the previous ruler, a dictator, had fled the country and left it leaderless. We saw an opportunity to help out and also obtain a good return for our efforts. Sometimes we purchase them cheaply when they are run down, then restore their economic situation and sell them for a handy profit. Errinundera, for example, would be an excellent investment. Change a few laws and bingo, the profits come rolling in. We might also establish new countries, let them grow for a few years and then they are ours to do what we like.

handesydek: I can't imagine one nation having other nations totally at their whim like that.

John Nec: There are powers controlling NationStates beyond your imagination.

The next day we were taken on a tour of their largest astronomical observatory. The chief astrophysicist there explained some of the latest cosmological theories and how their observatory was seeking to test these theories. One idea he canvassed was parallel universes. Whenever multiple outcomes were possible for a particular event, they all occurred but in their own universe. All the time more universes were coming into existence. Another theory is that the universe, as we know it, is simply a program being run by some higher being. As part of the software we could not, by definition, learn anything of those that ran us.

Last night, lying next to dear dip, I thought about all those other Errinunderas. Just think, some of them could be like Mezitzia or Liverpool England - always at war, with their forests gone, oppressing the people of other nations. I began to wonder if our nations were just games being run by creatures in some other dimension.

Speaking of dip, she had another accident - this time with a hire car. dip was driving and ran into the back of a military personnel transport vehicle. It wasn't serious but the airbag has given her quite a fat lip.

Oh, and team drew one all with Liverpool England. Both sides played very well and tried very hard. Yet somehow the stamp of authority has gone out of the Gorillas. adealbata kicked our only goal.

Missing you terribly, as always, mumsi.

Your affection son. princec.

There are loads of people each with there own opinion of what to do, I want a general consensus and standardization, if that makes sense.

It was only a suggestion. I am happy to play under whatever system the World Cup Committee deems is best.

Also, Errinundera really does appreciate the effort you guys put in.

There are loads of people each with there own opinion of what to do, I want a general consensus and standardization, if that makes sense.

In my opinion, the best way to get consensus is to come up with a formula that consistently produces realistic scores that are weighted in a fair manner toward higher-ranked teams (fair meaning that the traditionally better teams are more likely to win, but that newcomers still have a chance) and that take into account the traditional offensive and defensive capabilities of a squad. I also like Errinundera's suggestion that home-field advantage be taken into account.

So... I'm suggesting that Bedistan and I (why me? Good question. Because 1. I am a potential future host, 2. I'm not put off by potentially very complex formulas, and 3. I was already working on a formula similar in nature to the one BD's presented) continue discussion of a possible formula off-thread until we come up with something that meets the above criteria of consistency and fairness, and then present it to the WCC for consideration.

Keep in mind that the host wouldn't have to work out the complexities anyway; if the formula was already set and the tables set up, the host wouldn't really have to do anything but hit "calculate."

I don't think anything is achieved by arguing on-thread about the formula. As far as World Cup 6 is concerned, the formula is decided. Right now, it doesn't seem to be any worse than the one used for 5, so far as I can see. I bet Audioslavia likes it better, anyway.

Anybody who wants to join the formula discussion off-thread, TG me and I'll send you my email address.

Which is not to say that anyone should be squelched from discussing, or even from whining, on-thread. Far be it from me to try and dictate what you can say. I'm all for free-form discussion. I'm just saying that it might behoove us all to work this out somewhere where people aren't trying to RP their games and stuff.

Oh, and, TnUI- I agree that BD's test scores don't look right. The formula is obviously not ready to go as-is. Another good reason to shift discussion off-thread: so everybody doesn't have to see all the testing.

(One last bit of discussion here, then we'll take this off-thread...)


2. How did you come to the 1.75 conclusion? Is this the average # of goals per side per game? I know I could answer that myself by doing the math, but I don't have excel on the machine I'm looking at your stats on.


Well, actually, the number 1.75 was fairly arbitrary, but there was a little logic behind it. In general, the range of both average goals scored and average goals allowed is somewhere around 0.50-3.00, and 1.75 lies right in the center of that. It could probably stand some tweaking, though.

[OOC: I think a big part of the problem there is that some teams with only a couple of games to their credit have very high defense because they've only allowed a couple of goals in those games. Similarly, a nation might have a very low defense because it allowed a lot of goals in those couple of games. Maybe adjust both offense and defense toward the 1000 norm for teams that have played fewer than, say, 15 games?

Well (although I didn't explain it in the actual post, though it is in the document), the ratings actually are weighted for teams with fewer than 10 games (though for the one team that never allowed a goal, weighting is impossible because you're still dividing by zero). I may look into increasing that to 15 games, though.

As an alternative, perhaps allow one extra attack all around, capping OR at 2500+.]

I did notice that the effective range of attacks is slightly lower than I would have liked, and upping it by one would bring it closer to that.

Can I make a further suggestion for qualifiers: that there be a home ground advantage.

...

It would simply be a matter of giving the home side one or two extra attacks.

Hmm, I hadn't thought of that, but it makes sense, of course. I may see what I can do with that.


And with that, I'm officially taking the discussion off-thread. We now return you to your regularly scheduled World Cup 6 programming... ;)

[code:1:680290280e]
Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung (8) 4 4 0 0 11 2 +9 12
Snub Nose 38 (20) 4 3 0 1 9 2 +7 9
Shaw Heath 4 3 0 1 7 6 +1 9
Copiosa Scotia (50) 4 1 1 2 9 10 -1 4
Bubbasa the Great 4 1 1 2 5 7 -2 4
Benjibouti 4 1 0 3 7 11 -4 3
Whorecore 4 0 2 2 8 12 -4 2
Nova Polonia 4 0 2 2 7 13 -6 2
[/code:1:680290280e]

Corrected Group five chart

Why don't we take the discussion to the World Cup 7 Thread (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=52086)? It needs bumping anyway.

[code:1:5ad68e69a4]
Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung (8) 4 4 0 0 11 2 +9 12
Snub Nose 38 (20) 4 3 0 1 9 2 +7 9
Shaw Heath 4 3 0 1 7 6 +1 9
Copiosa Scotia (50) 4 1 1 2 9 10 -1 4
Bubbasa the Great 4 1 1 2 5 7 -2 4
Benjibouti 4 1 0 3 7 11 -4 3
Whorecore 4 0 2 2 8 12 -4 2
Nova Polonia 4 0 2 2 7 13 -6 2
[/code:1:5ad68e69a4]

Corrected Group five chart

Whoops :oops: Thanks for that 8)

D'oh! Said I'd post scores at noon today, and here it is four o'clock. Well, they'll be up shortly. And TnUI is right, we should discuss the formulas on the WC7 thread.

Matchday 5 results

Group 1
TnUI 1 Errinundera 1
Liverpool England 1 Mezitzia 1
Timway 0 Quohog 5
LordSquall 3 Hegemonia Polska 2


Group 2
Provoo 0 Great White Sharks 3
Iuthia 3 Starving Children 0
_AMP 3 Jay Cutter 0
Cobra Cult 2 Audioslavia 3

Group 3
Oglethorpia 3 La Darien 1
Northern Kings 2 BK_Samura 0
Gian Zucchini 1 Albion Soviets 2
Dark Outcasts 3 Eauz 2

Group 4
Communation 2 Lunatic Goofballs 2
Pure Evil 2 Nevershadow 2
Tha Machine 0 The Belmore Family 4
Futililia 4 VA Industrialized 1

Group 5
Nova Polonia 2 Benjibouti 2
Copiosa Scotia 2 Whorecore 1
Tanah Burung 2 Bubbasa the Great 1
Shaw Heath 1 Snub Nose 38 2

Group 6
The Midnight Armies 1 Runaway Moose 3
Aquilla 1 Alhana Catherine 1
Haraki 3 Christofi 1
Bedistan 0 Ironchefk 2

Group 7
Aves 0 Vegemite 3
Tiburon 1 Tintinnabulation 3
Halfassedstates 2 Malundar 2
Dead Man 2 Pavesia 1

Group 8
Dennisov 3 Busby 1
Jurimaxistan 0 Ravenspire 3
Australian Marsupials 2 One Red Dot 2
Gesamkuntswerk 3 Crimson Sparta 0

Group 9
The Lowland Clans 3 Chakra 1
Akbarland 6 Avina 2
Lomina 1 Dannland 2
Rave Shentavo 3 Darkseed 1

[OOC: About time we won one. 8) May not have time to post IC for this one, though.]

Well, nice to see that my results are staying consistent :roll:

Current standings after matchday 5:

[code:1:9c99faaefa]Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 5 5 0 0 22 7 +15 15
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 5 3 1 1 13 7 +6 10
Mezitzia 5 2 2 1 9 7 +2 8
Timway 5 2 2 1 11 13 -2 8
Errinundera (17) 5 1 3 1 9 7 +2 6
LordSquall 5 1 1 3 10 19 -9 4
Liverpool England 5 0 2 3 7 10 -3 2
Hegemonia Polska 5 0 1 4 8 19 -11 1

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia (40) 5 4 1 0 16 9 +7 13
_AMP 5 3 1 1 15 10 +5 10
Porvoo 5 3 0 2 19 13 +6 9
Great White Sharks 5 2 1 2 10 8 +2 7
Cobra Cult 5 2 0 3 12 16 -4 6
Iuthia 5 1 1 3 11 12 -1 4
Jay Cutter 5 1 1 3 8 14 -6 4
Starving Children 5 1 1 3 8 15 -7 4

Group 3 P W D L F A GD Pts
Oglethorpia (13) 5 4 1 0 13 6 +7 13
Dark Outcasts (42) 5 3 0 2 12 10 +2 9
Eauz 5 3 0 2 10 8 +2 9
La Darien (36) 5 2 1 2 8 8 0 7
Albion Soviets 5 2 1 2 11 12 -1 7
Northern Kings 5 1 3 1 12 11 +1 6
Giant Zucchini (10) 5 1 1 3 7 9 -2 4
BK_Samurai 5 0 1 4 1 10 -9 1

Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 5 5 0 0 17 5 +12 15
Communation 5 2 2 1 13 11 +2 8
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 5 2 1 2 8 7 +1 7
VA Industrialized 5 2 1 2 9 10 -1 7
Nevershadow 5 2 1 2 8 9 -1 7
Pure Evil (22) 5 1 2 2 8 10 -2 5
Futililia 5 1 1 3 10 14 -4 4
Tha Machine 5 0 2 3 4 11 -7 2

Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung (8) 5 5 0 0 13 3 +10 15
Snub Nose 38 (20) 5 4 0 1 11 3 +8 12
Shaw Heath 5 3 0 2 8 8 0 9
Copiosa Scotia (50) 5 2 1 2 11 11 0 7
Bubbasa the Great 5 1 1 3 6 9 -3 4
Benjibouti 5 1 1 3 9 13 -4 4
Nova Polonia 5 0 3 2 9 15 -6 3
Whorecore 5 0 2 3 9 14 -5 2

Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 5 5 0 0 11 3 +8 15
Haraki (29) 5 2 2 1 11 7 +4 8
Aquilla 5 2 1 2 7 8 -1 7
Alhana Catherine (48) 5 1 3 1 10 8 +2 6
Ironchefk (9) 5 2 0 3 7 7 0 6
The Midnight Armies 5 2 0 3 8 13 -5 6
Christofi (28) 5 1 2 2 6 8 -2 5
Bedistan (27) 5 0 2 3 3 9 -6 2

Group 7 P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates (49) 5 3 2 0 13 7 +6 11
Dead Man (58) 5 3 2 0 12 6 +6 11
Tintinnabulation 5 2 1 2 10 12 -2 7
Malundar 5 1 3 1 9 10 -1 6
Vegemite 5 1 2 2 10 10 0 5
Pavesia 5 1 2 2 10 11 -1 5
Tiburon 5 1 1 3 5 8 -3 4
Aves 5 1 1 3 6 10 -4 4

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 5 2 3 0 8 4 +4 9
Dennisov (14) 5 1 4 0 9 7 +2 7
Australian Marsupials 5 2 1 2 7 6 +1 7
One Red Dot (30) 5 1 4 0 7 6 +1 7
Busby 5 2 1 2 8 8 0 7
Crimson Sparta 5 1 2 2 5 7 -2 5
Jurimaxistan 5 1 2 2 7 10 -3 5
Ravenspire (24) 5 1 1 3 5 8 -3 4

Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 5 3 1 1 16 11 +5 10
Dannland 5 2 2 1 11 10 +1 8
Rave Shentavo 5 2 2 1 11 10 +1 8
Lomina 5 2 1 2 10 9 +1 7
Darkseed 5 2 1 2 10 10 0 7
Chakra (70) 5 2 1 2 10 11 -1 7
The Lowland Clans 5 1 1 3 8 9 -1 4
Avina 5 1 1 3 8 15 -7 4[/code:1:9c99faaefa]

Best Team: Quohog (5-0-0, GD +15)
Worst Team: Hegemonia Polska (0-1-4, GD -11)
Best Offense: Quohog (22 goals in 5 games, average 4.4)
Worst Offense: BK_Samurai (1 goal in 5 games, average 0.2)
Best Defense: Tanah Burung, Snub Nose 38, and Runaway Moose (3 goals allowed in 5 games, average 0.6)
Worst Defense: Hegemonia Polska (19 goals allowed in 5 games, average 3.8)

Coach Parker Could Face Termination

The Audioslavia...er...sorry...Bedistan Lions hosted their fifth qualifying game against Ironchefk today at Holmes Stadium at Columbia. Attendance was down significantly for this game; the 35,000-seat stadium that was packed for the Runaway Moose game today reported an attendance of just 20,426. The general consensus is that many fans have lost faith in their team.

"Why should I waste an hour and a half in a stadium watching our team lose yet again?" said Kate Rogers, a resident of Eastfield. "I can stay at home and see them lose just the same, while saving myself the four-hour drive each way."

And lose they did. Ironchefk buried two balls into the net in the first half, and the Lions were completely unable to make a comeback.

Stephen Rogers (no relation to Kate), Bedistan's Secretary of Sports and Games, announced today that team coach Jim Parker's performance was decidedly not living up to Bedistan Football Association (BFA) standards.

"Unless he can put that team on the road to recovery, unless he can make them actually win a couple games, I'm afraid we will have to sack Coach Parker," said Rogers. Parker could not be reached for comment.

The team departed from Columbia Airport in a light rain today at 5 PM, en route to the land of Alhana Catherine. Will Parker and his team reclaim any of their glory? Will the team, by some amazing twist of fate, manage to actually qualify? The answers to these and other questions remain to be seen.

Final score:
Bedistan 0
Ironchefk 2

DAILY CROCODILE
Chomping along...

Today's snack was Bubbasa the Great. Fielding a squad made up almost entirely of second-string players, and the third-string goalkeeper, Tanah Burung pulled off a 2-1 win at the Stadium of the East to keep its perfect record. Two promising young women scored for the Crocodiles: Dawna Loro in the 12th minute and Rosa Bibere in the 33rd. A second-half goal spoiled the perfect evening, but coach Bi Kikere pronounced herself satisfied with the trials. She plans to take most of the first team to the next game, away at Nova Polonia.

'slaves luck has officially 'turned'


For the past 3 years, 'Audioslavia' has become a by-word for goliath-type happenings in world football. Anywhere you look, 11 hapless individuals are being given the "Audioslavia MKII" tag after a flukish loss to a team of newcomers. However, with the 'slaves current form, this looks like it could be changing...

Audioslavia are, officially, in luck. Audioslavia's slender victories have catapulted them to top of the group with a 3 point "cushion". Current runners-up _AMP are however, hot on the heels of Audioslavia and still have enough games to catch up. They also have the pyschological advantage of being the only team to take points from the 'slaves.

Audioslavia's goals in their 3-2 home win over Cobra Cult came from Benson, Hedges, and substitute De La Rocha.

Zuka (Eauz) -- After starting out to a great start, "Les Bleus" have started to slump a bit. Coming back home for a few games they, lost both of the games. The Coach said, "Well, this has to be expected. This is our First World Cup, and you can't expect us to go without a loss. We ran into some "tough", experienced teams, but I believe even though we lost, we "matured" and will be ready for the next match. But on the lighter side, the Team must be one of those "sleepers" that people thought would just roll over early. At the moment, they are tied for 2nd in the 3rd division, which also consists of 4 ranked teams. The team must feel good about defeating a rank 10 and rank 36, and hope to continue the "success".

Zadok - Fans are rallying in the streets and several rioters have been arrested as they celebrate the recent sccesses of the Mezitzian national soccer team. The best win so far was a 2-0 victory over a 7th ranked Total n Utter Insanity squad. The minority of Mezitzians who believed the team actualy stood a chance were seen in the streets holding "I TOLD YOU SO" signs. They were promptly beaten.

In the most recent match, the national team tied Liverpool England 1-1.
The coach and players had wanted a win to put them even higher in the standings, however it did not come as they failed to capitalize on the first unranked team since gameday 1.

Leading scorer for the team is Zack Stillings, also team captain, who has tacked up an amazing six goals so far in the tournament.

However in the LE match, defender Bernie Blumenschein was hurt with a badly torn meniscus and MCL. He is out for the rest of the tournament.
The coach is confident in his replacement though, and it is not expected to seriously hurt the team's chances.

GESAMTKUNTSWERK NEWS BULLETIN

After securing ties with their first three competitors, Gesamtkuntswerk pulls of two successive shutout games, pulling the Sturms from trailing to first place in their division. Though the team has been unavailable for comment, manager Henry Rearden said that "the team has been given extra initiative to keep the team undefeated. So far, my money has been well-spent."

Due to failing international connections (OOC: internet), specifics for the games have not been reported.

{OOC: I wwwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!}

News item from the The McKillops Bridge New Statesman:

http://www.newstatesman.com/graphics/ns/images/head_logo.gif

SKILLS ON DISPLAY IN ENTERTAINING MATCH

Party atmosphere despite absence of antarcticad and oreadest

(On-field picture of smiling TnUI captain telling fionar something. fionar is looking at camera and pulling face as if to ask, "Is this bloke mad or something?)

Earlier today, Errinundera and Total n Utter Insanity staged one of the most skillful and breathtaking games that our nation has ever witnessed. Captain and coach, fionar, had instructed the team to show the home crowd just how exciting they could be. "I pointed out to the blokes before the game that TnUI were the most famous and most experienced side we had ever encountered. I told them not to worry about their reputation but to go flat out, try anything, and enjoy themselves to the limit. We wanted to show the best in the world how good we are."

The game had everything: a tight scoreline (1 all) that did justice to both sides, exquisite skills from all 22 players on the field, great shots on goal and great saves. Both goals game from magical pieces of field play in heavy traffic. longipesp scored for Errinundera in the 55th minute with a hair-raising slide between the feet of 2 TnUI defenders. Shortly afterwards the Insaniacs replied when their player deftly danced around 3 of our defenders and then slammed a scorcher passed fionar.

In a rare accolade the crowd remained on their feet at the end of the game and applauded for 20 minutes before both teams came back out onto the field for a lap of honour. The TnUi captain spoke to the crowd through the public address system. "Thanks for the welcome you have given us. The time we've been here's been like one big party. Your guys were great today. We really enjoyed the game. We look forward to hosting you later in the year."

It's not likely we will see such a willing and entertaining match at Frosty Hollow for a long time. And yet it took place despite the absence of both our front-line strikers, antarcticad and oreadest, who are now both implicated in the depa drug scandal.

At a joint press conference, filthyl, the Protector of Sport, and mountd, the Convenor of the EFA, confirmed that all team members except antarcticad had tested negative to the blood test. mountd explained that it had also been confirmed that oreadest had purchased the drug in Tanah Burung. He had been stood down pending further investigation. "Clearly we need to now how the drug got into the possession of antarcticad," said mountd. "We also want to know if other team members are involved." filthyl added that the reputation of Errinundera was at stake. "We do, at times, present a sanctimonious face to the rest of the world when it comes to ethical issues. The last thing we want is to appear hypocritical as well."

KM: ...Because of the hedgehog. The unfortunate incident resulted in the hospitalization of three team members. But there's brighter news in football, and Michael Black is here to tell us about it. Mike?

MB: Thank you, Kath. Fans were pleased to see the Ravens finally pull together today. In a game reminiscent of their previous years, Ravenspire's team finally pulled off their first win of this season, a convincing 3-0 match against newcomers Jurimaxistan. Though striker Zhen Sui-Ling remained sidelined, the team of Amara Akizuki and foxgirl Kaede Kitsuki finally hit stride, with two goals by Amara in the first half and the third by Kaede in the second.

KM: It's good to see them working together again. And keeper Zhen Bao and the rest of Ravenspire's defense reclaimed their old form for the game as well, successfully deflecting eleven attempts on goal by Jurimaxistan.

MB: But the best news, Kath, is the results of the other games. Almost all of them came up with the best possible results for Ravenspire's hopes of qualifying. Ravenspire could now easily rejoin the middle of the pack, where it looks as if a rough contest for the top slots is developing. If the momentum remains with them, and they play like they did today, they have a reasonable chance of improving their position to second or third within the next two matches. Gesamtkuntswerk and Crimson Sparta are the remaining contenders before the second cycle of matches, and an upset against Gesamtkunstwerk would go a long way toward repairing the damage the team have done themselves. We'll just have to watch and see.

KM: Meanwhile, a scandal developed on the international ping-pong circuit when...

Kathryn Malley and Michael Black, reporting for RNN

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND WORLD CUP 6 QUALIFYING NEWS REPORT 5

Team manages second 1-1 draw in a row

The Empire managed to secure another point in a well played match against Metitiza [sp] as Jim Whites played a good formation for the game, changing his usual 4-3-1-2 to a 3-4-3.

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini has entered arguably its worst run in its history after a 1-2 loss to Albion Soviets. They are currently second from the bottom in their group. Head Coach Mr Hurr, "Our boys are really down in the dumps now. It has been 4 matches without a win for them and its clear that they are feeling the heat. We hope to get out of this slump quickly."

..... and in football to-day, the Halfassedstates national team continued their quest for qualification to WC6. After their 1-1 draw with closest challangers Dead Man, the team dropped another 2pts with a 2-2 draw against newcomers Malundar.
This coulped with the Dead Man victory in their game sees Halfassed now top the group only on goals scored, although both teams enjoy a 4pt cushion over 3rd place Tintinnabulation.

To date:
Halfassedstates played 5, won 3, drew 2.
Goals scores 13, goals conceeded 7
Leading Goal scorers;
Paisley - 5
Adams - 3
Wallace - 3
King,R - 1
Hope - 1

On the Domestic football front, the HFA finally settled on a punishment for The Crew and Borderers United teams after the rioting at their match in the penultimate match of the season. Both teams have been fined $150,000 and will have 5 points deducted from their total.
This leaves the adjusted final league tables looking like this;
[code:1:3a6367ee68] P W D L Pts
The Platypi 36 27 5 4 86
The Cenataurs 36 25 9 2 84
Whogivesa Utd 36 18 9 9 63
Forest 36 18 8 10 62
Borderers Utd 36 19 8 9 60 *
Whogivesa City 36 10 10 16 40
The Crew 36 9 10 17 32 *
Duck-bill Rovers 36 3 13 20 22
The Wanderers 36 4 9 23 21
Wellso 36 3 7 26 16[/code:1:3a6367ee68]

*deducted 5pts

in other sports today ........

Well, nice to see that my results are staying consistent :roll:

Current standings after matchday 5:

[code:1:25910e02ca]Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 5 5 0 0 17 5 +12 15
Communation 5 2 2 1 13 11 +2 8
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 5 2 1 2 8 7 +1 7
VA Industrialized 5 2 1 2 9 10 -1 7
Nevershadow 5 2 1 2 8 9 -1 7
Pure Evil (22) 5 1 2 2 8 10 -2 5
Futililia 5 1 1 3 10 14 -4 4
Tha Machine 5 0 2 3 4 11 -7 2
[/code:1:25910e02ca]

Yes 5 wins out of five and we are gaurnteed top spot at least until game 7!

it's good to see that a team ranked 22nd can be defeated by a team ranked 47 and some unranked.

And it's good to see a team ranked 11th not on top.

i dunno PE, after five games, in every group 2 out of the top 3 teams are seeded ones (apart from groups 2 and 9 where theres only one seeded team) and in every group a seeded team is top (exluding chakra but they are only 70th) and more often than not, the team leading is the first/second highest of the 'ranked' teams in the group.

When you consider that currently, 22 ranked vs 47 ranked irl would be something like Ireland vs Australia, its not that inconcievable that the 22 team would lose.

I agree its not so realistic when new teams beat teams in the top 30, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere so that the new teams have at least a fighting chance of winning. Giving new teams a 100 rank is by far a better optuon that condensing the rankings and giving them a rank of 45 like Tanah Burung did.

To be honest PE, i think if in a group of 3 top 40 teams and 5 newbies, if the top 40 teams finish in the top 4, then its a fair deal. Especially when you remember that Holland didnt qualify for the last world cup, and the likes of England, France and Uruguay (all former champions) didnt qualify for the '94 world cup.

anyway, "NS Football" as a game is still pretty much in its infancy.

p.s. its early days yet, theres 9 games to go and by the law of averages, you do have a better chance of qualifying than most of the teams in your group

What are the rules for qualification into the actual world cup once the qualifyers are over? I was unclear on what spots (top 2, top 3) made it to the next round. Sorry - I probably just missed it somewhere so could someone explain?

top 3 i think. 9 groups with the top 3 going through means 27 teams going through, add that to the 6 auto-qualifyers and youve got the usual 32 team world cup

top 3 i think. 9 groups with the top 3 going through means 27 teams going through, add that to the 6 auto-qualifyers and youve got the usual 32 team world cup
No you've 33-will 2 randomly selected 3rd place people play a match to decide who goes through for numbers sake?

Hold it, there are 8 autoqualifiers so then maybe 2 go through you get (9x2)+8=26 with 6 place left will 3 third placed people be randomly dropped?

I already said all of this; it's up to K to sort it all out. I'm kinda being hard on him, I radical changed the world cup for WC3 and we learned a lot, so far this world cup I've learned get a host who can add up and uses a better formula :lol:

Actually, the formula may be different but the effect now that it's down to 10 attacks is pretty much identical. WC5 gave each team 10 attacks, the top-ranked team a defence number of 898 and the unranked team a defensive number of 812 (because the D number dropped by two per rank). WC6 formula drops the D number by one per rank, so the highest D number of 899 and the lowest is 800. That's why results are now similar: most of the ranked teams are leading, and as the number of results increases it will tend to average out so that teams like GZ getting bad results are likely to see improvement. That's basic statistics: one game can go either way even if it pits number 1 against number 100, but 14 games will almost invariably see the number one team ahead.

I really think that the best way to handle bad results is to do as GZ & Bedistan are doing - RP it, a loss can be as much fun to RP as a win. And if the highest-ranked team always won, there would be no surprises, no fun, and no point to any of it! If there's a problem, i'd say it's less with the formula than with the way rank is determined - did Audioslavia really deserve to be number 11 after one Cup of good results and then tumble so far after one Cup of poor results? If i was doing rank, i'd work out every team's total percentage of points per game over its entire history, meaning teams would rise and fall less suddenly. Well, actually since math is not my strong suit, i'd get someone else to do that.

As to qualification, there are 8 auto-qualifiers not six. But it's entirely possible that Spaam will be dead by then (Curse of the Cup). Kingsford will have to decide how to determine who's in. All you can say for sure is that the top two in each group are going through and if you finish third in your group, you might go through.

In other news, the thriving medicinal plant industry in Tanah Burung has refused all comment on the Errinundera doping scandal. But one man in trenchcoast said: "It's a perfectly natural and perfectly leagal substance. Why do these foreigners have their knickers in such a twist about it?"

Beware the ides of August!

Red Dot Stagnates While Unseeded Teams Slip and Others Triumph

This is Fann Atik and this is the Red Dot World Cup Update. Today, in the 5th match of the qualifiers of the latest World Cup 6, the Red Dot National Team has kept its place in the middle with yet another draw. This makes it the fourth draw so far. Stan Inn at the stadium with the details.

SI: Thank you Fann. Although it has been quite a while after the match, the atmosphere here is still very low. With me now is Alvin Ker, Head Coach of the National Team.

Alvin, it has 4 draws out of 5 so far. Do you think there will be any progress that might bring One Red Dot to the top. After all, only one win is needed.

AK: It is easier said then done, Stan. To me, this has been one of the most deploring leagues I have ever seen so far. But, I still believe in my boys. The qualifiers has not touched the half-way mark yet so I believe that with constant practice, I can trust that the next few matches can guarantee a victory.

SI: But I'm still quite curious? What do you think is the factor that has kept the team taking in more draws?

AK: I am not really sure yet, but you can take into account that we have 3 nations reaching the group stage last World Cup and 1 group-of-16er. The competition is very stiff between these nations. Also adding in four other relatively new but enthusiastic and confident new nations. You could say that this is the ultimate that this game has ever seen.

If you check the statistics, Group 8 is at the top concerning the number of drawn matches at 9. And there is also two nations with 4 drawn matches, One Red Dot and Dennisov. The competition is really, really tight.

SI: Thank you, Alvin. Back to the studio, Fann.

FA: Thank you, Stan. In Match 5 today, the score ended with a 2-2 draw with the Australian Marsupials. The goals were scored by strikers, Francis DURSLEY and Harry RADFORD, in an intensifying match that saw many tries at the goal by both teams.

Match 6 will be against Busby and in an earlier interview today with Mr. David Joel, Assistant Coach of the National Team, he said that Busby's playing style and its statistics has been very erratic. However, he believe that One Red Dot might just pull this one off with a 1 or maybe even 2 goal difference.

This is Fann Atik and this has been the Red Dot World Cup Update. Good Night.

I have an idea for the qualifications into the group stages. I might be repeating stuff earlier in the thread but even if i am, just treat it as a bump. the thread needs bumping anyway.

First, figure out how many teams ARE going to have instant qualification without passing qualifiers. This part is important as Spaam might be dying off as well as other business that the WCC might have to handle. If Spaam is still in, the number of nations would be 8. So let's take it to be 8 for now.

There are 9 Qualifier Groups.
Top 2 teams have instant qualification to World Cup Group Stage. So. 9*2=18 teams

So far 8+18=26 spots have been occupied.

To fill in the remaining 6 spots (or whatever number this may be), get the 9 3rd placed nations and the top 6 go in.

So 26+6=32 honoured teams. You all know the rest.

Or we could just have had 8 groups of 9 :P

Analysts Say Bedistan Bound to Return to Normal

Bedistan World Cup team analysts have spent hours upon hours carefully analyzing the present and past performance of both their own team and the other teams in Qualifying Group Six. In an interview with Bedistan Sports Television (BSTV) today, they detailed their findings.

BSTV: So, what do you think?

John Harris, team analyst: We have carefully analyzed our next four matches, to be played against Alhana Catherine, Aquilla, Christofi, and The Midnight Armies. We're fairly confident with the results we have.

BSTV: And?

Harris: I'm getting to it; keep your pants on!

[BSTV reporter quickly checks his fly, then determines that Harris wasn't speaking literally. He looks up.]

Harris: Our chances in the next four games look very good. Against Alhana Catherine, I predict a 2-1 victory. It'll probably be a 1-1 tie with Aquilla, though we might pull off one more goal for a win. No score in the Christofi match for either side. Finally, I say 2-0 against The Midnight Armies. Probably two wins and two draws, for eight total points, which should at least get us back into contention.

BSTV: Glad to hear it. Thanks for your time, Mr. Harris.

Harris: No problem. Um, I think you've got some ketchup on your shirt there...

***** ASPN NEWS WORLD CUP 6 SPECIAL REPORT*****

We interupt your regularly schedule program for this special report. For the past three days the location of the Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders has been a mystery. No one - not family, friends, or members of the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans international side, have been able to locate any of the Hooligan Cheerleaders.

The mystery was resolved today when the Hooligan Cheerleaders, all of them, were released from the custody of the Sheriff of Remington County. It seems the Cheerleaders were arrested several days ago after they allegedly assaulted the Tanah Burung side as they attempted to land their blimp at the stadium where the first Tanah Burung - Snub Nose 38 Qualifying match was to be held.

The Sheriff informed ASPN reporters that the Hooligan Cheerleaders have been charged with Malicious Mischief, Assault, Disturbing the Peace, and Cheering in Poor Taste. Charges of Vegetable Abuse were dropped.

A Grand Jury will be convened to determine if sufficient evidence exists to bring the Hooligan Cheerleaders to trial. If insufficient evidence exists, the charges will be dropped.

*through out this entire report, the reporter is superimposed over the film of the Hooligan Cheerleaders bombarding the Tanah-Burung blimp as it arrived several days ago in Snub Nose 38*

In other World Cup 6 news, after 5 qualifying games the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans are second in their group, with 4 wins, no draws and 1 loss. Tanah Burung holds the top spot with a 5 - 0 - 0 record. Additionally, The Hooligans, together with Tanah Burung and the Runaway Moose Alces Rex, currently share the distinction of having allowed the fewest number of goals (3) to be scored against them through the first 5 qualifying matches.

*****THIS HAS BEEN AN ASPN NEWS WORLD CUP 6 SPECIAL REPORT*****

Matchday 6 results should be posted shortly. Am I posting them too often? If people want more time between matches to RP, let me know. I could give an extra day every couple of matches or something.

Matchday 6 results

Group 1
TnUI 3 Timway 0
Liverpool Eng 3 Hegemonia Polska 1
Mezitzia 1 LordSquall 2
Quohog 1 Errinundera 0


Group 2
Porvoo 0 _AMP 1
Iuthia 0 Audioslavia 6
Starving Children 3 Cobra Cult 4
Jay Cutter 1 Great White Sharks 3

Group 3
Oglethorpia 2 Giant Zucchini 1
Northern Kings 1 Eauz 2
BK_Samurai 1 Dark Outcasts 4
Albion Soviets 1 La Darien 2


Group 4
Communation 1 Tha Machine 4
Pure Evil 2 VA Industrialized 1
Nevershadow 1 Futililia 2
The Belmore Family 1 Lunatic Goofballs 0


Group 5
Nova Polonia 3 Tanah Burung 1
Copiosa Scotia 1 Snub Nose 38 4
Whorecore 1 Shaw Heath 0
Bubbasa the Great 3 Benjibouti 2

Group 6
The Midnight Armies 1 Haraki 4
Aquilla 0 Ironchefk 5
Alhana Catherine 2 Bedistan 2
Christofi 1 Runaway Moose 3


Group 7
Aves 0 Halfassedstates 3
Tiburon 3 Pavesia 1
Tintinnabulation 3 Dead Man 2
Malundar 0 Vegemite 2

Group 8
Dennisov 2 Australian Marsupials 0
Jurimaxistan 1 Crimson Sparta 3
Ravenspire 3 Gesamkuntswerk 2
One Red Dot 3 Busby 1


Group 9
The Lowland Clans 3 Lomina 1
Akbarland 5 Darkseed 3
Avina 3 Rave Shentavo 2
Dannland 3 Chakra 2

ooch that's going to hurt in the ratings

Current Standings after Matchday Six

[code:1:0a8cbf0575]Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 6 6 0 0 23 7 +16 18
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 6 4 1 1 16 7 +9 13
Mezitzia 6 2 2 2 10 9 +1 8
Timway 6 2 2 2 11 16 -5 8
LordSquall 6 2 1 3 12 20 -8 7
Errinundera (17) 6 1 3 2 9 8 +1 6
Liverpool England 6 1 2 3 10 11 -1 5
Hegemonia Polska 6 0 1 5 9 22 -13 1

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia (40) 6 5 1 0 22 9 +13 16
_AMP 6 4 1 1 16 10 +6 13
Great White Sharks 6 3 1 2 13 9 +4 10
Porvoo 6 3 0 3 19 14 +5 9
Cobra Cult 6 3 0 3 16 19 -3 9
Iuthia 6 1 1 4 11 18 -7 4
Starving Children 6 1 1 4 11 19 -8 4
Jay Cutter 6 1 1 4 9 17 -8 4

Group 3 P W D L F A GD Pts
Oglethorpia (13) 6 5 1 0 15 7 +8 16
Dark Outcasts (42) 6 4 0 2 16 11 +5 12
Eauz 6 4 0 2 12 9 +3 12
La Darien (36) 6 3 1 2 10 9 +1 10
Albion Soviets 6 2 1 3 12 14 -2 7
Northern Kings 6 1 3 2 13 13 0 6
Giant Zucchini (10) 6 1 1 4 8 11 -3 4
BK_Samurai 6 0 1 5 2 14 -12 1

Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 6 6 0 0 18 5 +13 18
Communation 6 2 2 2 14 15 -1 8
Pure Evil (22) 6 2 2 2 10 11 -1 8
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 6 2 1 3 8 8 0 7
VA Industrialized 6 2 1 3 10 12 -2 7
Nevershadow 6 2 1 3 9 11 -2 7
Futililia 6 2 1 3 12 15 -3 7
Tha Machine 6 1 2 3 8 12 -4 5

Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 (20) 6 5 0 1 15 4 +11 15
Tanah Burung (8) 6 5 0 1 14 6 +8 15
Shaw Heath 6 3 0 3 8 9 -1 9
Bubbasa the Great 6 2 1 3 9 11 -2 7
Copiosa Scotia (50) 6 2 1 3 12 15 -3 7
Nova Polonia 6 1 3 2 12 16 -4 6
Whorecore 6 1 2 3 10 14 -4 5
Benjibouti 6 1 1 4 11 16 -5 4

Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 6 6 0 0 14 4 +10 18
Haraki (29) 6 3 2 1 15 8 +7 11
Ironchefk (9) 6 3 0 3 12 7 +5 9
Alhana Catherine (48) 6 1 4 1 12 10 +2 7
Aquilla 6 2 1 3 7 13 -6 7
The Midnight Armies 6 2 0 4 9 17 -8 6
Christofi (28) 6 1 2 3 7 11 -4 5
Bedistan (27) 6 0 3 3 5 11 -6 3

Group 7 P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates (49) 6 4 2 0 16 7 +9 14
Dead Man (58) 6 3 2 1 14 9 +5 11
Tintinnabulation 6 3 1 2 13 14 -1 10
Malundar 6 1 3 2 9 12 -3 6
Vegemite 6 2 2 2 12 10 +2 8
Pavesia 6 1 2 3 11 14 -3 5
Tiburon 6 2 1 3 8 9 -1 7
Aves 6 1 1 4 6 13 -7 4

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov (14) 6 2 4 0 11 7 +4 10
One Red Dot (30) 6 2 4 0 10 7 +3 10
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 6 2 3 1 9 7 +2 9
Crimson Sparta 6 2 2 2 8 8 0 8
Busby 6 2 1 3 9 11 0 7
Australian Marsupials 6 2 1 3 7 8 -1 7
Ravenspire (24) 6 2 1 3 8 10 -2 7
Jurimaxistan 6 1 2 3 8 13 -5 5

Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 6 4 1 1 21 14 +7 13
Dannland 6 3 2 1 14 12 +2 11
Rave Shentavo 6 2 2 2 13 13 0 8
The Lowland Clans 6 2 1 3 11 10 +1 7
Lomina 6 2 1 3 11 12 -1 7
Darkseed 6 2 1 3 13 15 -2 7
Chakra (70) 6 2 1 4 12 14 -2 7
Avina 6 2 1 3 11 17 -6 7[/code:1:0a8cbf0575]

Sam: Good afternoon to all you steadfastly loyal fans, and welcome to World Cup 6 Qualifying Game 6, brought to you live from Alhana Catherine here on BSTV. I'm--

Joey: Can I do the name intro this time?

Sam: Why? Oh never mind, go ahead.

Joey: Cool. Hi everybody; he's Sam Murphy and I'm Joey Stanton.

Sam: Hmm. That was actually pretty good, Joey.

Joey: Thanks!

Sam: Anyway, we're just about ready for kickoff. I've noticed that Lions coach Jim Parker seems to be doing whatever he can to get the team's spirits up. By all accounts, they've been pretty low, which is understandable with the team coming into this match with an 0-2-3 record.

Joey: Yeah, he really wants that team to win today. Not only that, he wants to keep his job.

Sam: That's true; the BFA has threatened to fire Parker if the team doesn't show some improvement. Let's hope he won't have to suffer that indignity.

Joey: So, who's playing for the Lions today?

Sam: Well, as usual, Olivia Bream is our goalkeeper. Three of our usual defenders are starting -- Richard Weiss, Laura Johnson, and Mike Thomas -- but Gary Bell, as you'll remember, tore a hamstring in the last match against Ironchefk, and he'll have to sit this one out. Kelli Justice will be starting in his place. At midfield, Ken Sierra, Tim King, John Burks, and team captain Gene Barber. Finally, our two forwards, Johnny Lewis and Jeff Whitehurst.

Joey: And the opposing team?

Sam: Uh...Helen, do you have the other team's roster handy? What? Oh, I see. Uh, it appears that no roster has been supplied for the Alhana Catherine side. Thank goodness the players have numbers on their backs so we can identify them.

Joey: OK, it looks like the home team won the toss and they will start with possession.

Sam: And there's the whistle! The game is on!

[3rd minute]

Sam: And that AC defender gives it a mighty kick...it's headed straight for goal, but Bream bats it away -- oh no, the forward's right there and it's IN! Alhana Catherine up 1-0 in the third minute.

Joey: Bream made a fairly nice save there, but luck just didn't go her way with that forward being there. There was no way to get it the second time.

[46th minute]

Sam: And there's the whistle.

Joey: Well, Sam, the first five minutes or so were very exciting, but the rest of the half was actually rather boring.

Sam: Indeed. No real opportunities for either side, and the score remains 1-0 Alhana Catherine.

Joey: Well, we've got about 15 minutes; I'm gonna go grab a hot dog. You want anything, Sam?

Sam: Think you can pick me up an ice cream?

Joey: Are you crazy? It'll be totally melted by the time I get it back to the booth!

Sam: I don't care, as long as it's still cold.

Joey: Whatever. We'll be back after these messages.

[55th minute]

Sam: Now Johnson with the ball...she passes to Weiss -- oh! That midfielder almost got it from him...now he sends it over to Barber...he shoots -- it's just out of the goalie's reach! Gene Barber with the equalizer making it 1-1.

[57th minute]

Sam: Holy cow! That ball came all the way from the back of the field, Olivia Bream tried to grab it, but she's fallen. Looks to me like she hurt her arm pretty bad there.

Joey: And Parker's bringing her out. Substitute goalkeeper Chuck Mitchell will take her place. AC scored a goal there, by the way, so it's 2-1 now.

[80th minute]

Joey: ...and it took them about six hours to finally get the porcupine out of her mouth.

Sam: I'm surprised she didn't have the BSPCA set on her -- that is our national animal, after all.

Joey: Indeed it is. I guess we should count our blessings -- what's that, Helen? Oh, look, Sam, we just scored again!

Sam: What? Oh, yes, we have! And I'm going to assume that was Whitehurst that made the goal because he's jumping up and down all over the place. That's his first goal of WC6, and it brings the match score to 2-2.

Joey: You think we can pull off a win, Sam?

Sam: Dunno...guess we'll find out.

[88th minute]

Sam: Sierra sends it to Whitehurst, now to Lewis -- he shoots...and...it's...OFF THE BAR! Damn, that could've been the gamewinning goal!

Joey: Jeff does not look happy with himself there.

Sam: Well, he shouldn't...that was an easy shot that should've gone straight in! He may have just cost us that elusive win.

[93rd minute]

Joey: And there's the whistle.

Sam: And the mythical W eludes us yet again, as we draw against Alhana Catherine 2-2.

Joey: I just noticed a couple things, Sam.

Sam: What's that, Joey?

Joey: Well, if you look at the standings, you'll see that there are 72 teams in qualifying, right?

Sam: Right...

Joey: Know how many haven't won a game yet?

Sam: I haven't a clue, but I'd bet it's a fairly low number.

Joey: Three, to be exact -- including us.

Sam: Three.

Joey: Three. And you know what else?

Sam: What?

Joey: Out of those three, we're the only ones with previous Cup experience. Plus, with three points, we have fewer points than any other ranked team in qualifying.

Sam: Jeez, I knew our situation was bad, but I didn't think it was that bad...

Joey: It sure is.

Sam: Well, anyway, we're Sam Murphy and Joey Stanton signing off for BSTV. Be sure to join us for the next match, to be played against Aquilla. So long, everyone.

[camera goes off]

Joey: Do you really think anyone'll tune in next time?

Sam: The way our team's doing? Hell no. But we still get paid for it.

Joey: True, true.

I hope your bad luck holds.

makes me want to invade ironchefk, beaten 5-0 :x :evil:

Iuthia 0 Audioslavia 6


OOC: Fix!!!

Why does the The Belmore Family have so many wins when a nation ranked higher[pure evil] has many less against the same nations? I understand teams can play bad but not to this point.

Maybe an investigation into cheating by The Belmore Family is in order?

TBF and AS as well!

00C: i struggle to see how a squad of leprosy-ridden prostitutes has managed to get to second place in group A too.....

fix!

IC:

Great day for the region's football

Audioslavia 6 - 0 Iuthia
Republic Of Tha Machine 4 - 1 Communication

*cut to montage of all the goals scored today*

Well theyre the 11 goals that sealed the most succesful day in our regions football, unfortunately now we dont have enough time for the rest of the program so, yeah, g'nite ya bunch of buttmunchers

Well, the Quohog football fans are starting to get into the national squad once again. When coach Sui Generis took his young squad to World Cup I and managed a third place showing, the country got excited, but after the disasters in World Cups II and III when Quohog dominated their groups, but where then promptly eliminated after the group stage, fans began to lose their confidence in the team. However, after Generis died, the head coach position was given over to the wildly popular Lauren Silko. For those who cannot remember, she was in that World Cup I squad and was also the first women on the national team.

For the past few years, Silko has been rebuilding the team with some of the up and coming stars. Legendary goalkeep Thatch Drexel finally retired and was replaced with 15-year old phenom Victor Philibert. So far, he's only let in seven goals in six matches. Not bad at all when you consider that most of his defenders are as almost as inexperienced at this level of play as he is. Silko found a great replacement for her in the sweeper postition in Kurt Adenauer. While we will have to see if he can run the defense as well as Silko, he is probably the most physically gifted member on the squad. If it does take him a bit of time to get used to running things back there, it is alright since Claire Brannick is still in her position of central defender and has plenty of experience to share. Tok Timbu on the right and Juan Mysh on the left seem to be solid, core players.

In the midfield, Sita Singh and Gorgidas Nemea remain on the right and left respectively. They are both wilely veterans, and have already proven their worth by taking the two strikers and the other two midfielders under their wings. Cri Sawyes plays center-back midfield and Andrew Gamble center-forward. While Cri might never measure up to the great Nadir Armant, he has already proven to be much more skilled than Walter Newbury who probably muddled more plays than the rest of the players combined during his tenure on the team. Striker Martine Masseret on the right has been spectacular thus far, but it is left striker Nallab Armant who has drawn the most interest. Although he has scored only five goals to Masseret's six, he is also younger with more room for his game to mature. He is also the son of Nadir Armant, and all Quohog football fans are secretly hoping he'll live up to his father's image.

Things have been going very well thusfar for the Quohog team. They've won all six games and are leading all teams in both goals (23) and GD (+16). They are just playing very solid football. As the GD indicates, they have not only been smashing things up on the offensive end, but they've also been doing a handy job on defense. They also have a five point advantage over group favorite TnUI, so things are going about as well as anyone could hope. We mentioned that Masseret has six goals and Armant has five, so we probably should show who is scoring, and who is providing the assists:

Player Goals Assists Total
Masseret 6 2 8
Singh 1 7 8
Armant 5 1 6
Nemea 3 3 6
Gamble 3 2 5
Sawyes 2 3 5
Brannick 1 3 4
Timbu 2 0 2
Philibert 0 1 1
Adenauer 0 1 1
Mysh (gk) 0 0 0

As one can see, the offense has been spread fairly evenly. Timbu is sent up to help on corners, and Brannick will often send it back in when it gets cleared right after a corner, although she takes them about half of the time. Sawyes and Gamble have really come through when they had chances in the midfield and Nemea and Singh have been doing what they do best, creating opportunities. Singh has shown great improvement over the years in her passing ability, which now probably rivels that of Nadir Armant in his prime, even if she doesn't have his shot. Masseret has been doing what everyone would hope she would up on the right and Nallab is showing that he didn't get on the team because of who his father is.

In the latest match, Quohog went up against talented Errinundera (17) who has had tough luck so far. This was actually a very easy game for goalkeep Philibert, and Quohog's defense shut down the underpowered Errinunderan offense which has scored 9 goals in six matches so far. However, although Quohog's offense has been dominating, they went up against a skilled defense in Errinundera who had let in 7 goals before the match. Quohog got a goal in the 25th minute on a brilliant run by Masseret, but didn't manage to add to that lead. However, since most Errinunderan runs were stopped before they truly began, there weren't that many scary moments for Quohog. This was played as a game of possession, and Quohog won. So they have showed great versatility by being able to play in both a freewheeling offensive scury and in a slower waiting game. If the games continue as they have been, Quohog should be able to advance to World Cup VI. Perhaps, once there, if they make it, they will finally be able to lay their critics to rest and prove that Quohog football's day in the sun is not over. This is Information Minister Cornelis Huyghen providing you with the Official World Cup VI status report signing off.

Current TnUI Stats

Total n Utter Insanity 2 Liverpool England 1
Hill 16
Samit 43

LordSquall 2 Total n Utter Insanity 7
Junn 14, 57
Hill 19, 24, 35
Zurk 43
Canny 87

Total n Utter Insanity 3 Hegemonia Polska 1
Woor 34
Hill 56
Canny 76

Mezitzia 2 Total n Utter Insanity 0

Errinundera 1 Total n Utter Insanity 1
Hill 57

Total n Utter Insanity 3 Timway 0
Marks 28
Zurk 67
Junn 88

[code:1:95aae85fba]
Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 6 6 0 0 23 7 +16 18
Total n Utter Insanity 6 4 1 1 16 7 +9 13
Mezitzia 6 2 2 2 10 9 +1 8
Timway 6 2 2 2 11 16 -5 8
LordSquall 6 2 1 3 12 20 -8 7
Errinundera 6 1 3 2 9 8 +1 6
Liverpool England 6 1 2 3 10 11 -1 5
Hegemonia Polska 6 0 1 5 9 22 -13 1
[/code:1:95aae85fba]

Next we welcome undefeated Quohog to TnUI; this 6 pointer will probably determine who tops the group.

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini's listless run has continued with its 1-2 loss to Oglethorpia. The state of the team can be fully heard in the streets, where the following screams could be heard as the final whistle blew, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Head Coach Mr Hurr, "We desperately need a win. In other words, we need a win desperately."

Fry Day made the following statement about GZ:

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."

Current Standings after Matchday Six

[code:1:9aa89aea05]
Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 6 4 1 1 21 14 +7 13
Dannland 6 3 2 1 14 12 +2 11
Rave Shentavo 6 2 2 2 13 13 0 8
The Lowland Clans 6 2 1 3 11 10 +1 7
Lomina 6 2 1 3 11 12 -1 7
Darkseed 6 2 1 3 13 15 -2 7
Chakra (70) 6 2 1 4 12 14 -2 7
Avina 6 2 1 3 11 17 -6 7[/code:1:9aa89aea05]

7 + 2 + 1 = 10
-6 + -2 + -2 + -1 = -11
Hmmm

Current Standings after Matchday Six

[code:1:1c9710a448]
Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 6 4 1 1 21 14 +7 13
Dannland 6 3 2 1 14 12 +2 11
Rave Shentavo 6 2 2 2 13 13 0 8
The Lowland Clans 6 2 1 3 11 10 +1 7
Lomina 6 2 1 3 11 12 -1 7
Darkseed 6 2 1 3 13 15 -2 7
Chakra (70) 6 2 1 4 12 14 -2 7
Avina 6 2 1 3 11 17 -6 7[/code:1:1c9710a448]

7 + 2 + 1 = 10
-6 + -2 + -2 + -1 = -11
Hmmm
*scratches head in confusion* huh? *continues scratching*

I think Groups 7 and 2 need checking as well, but all the numbers are making my eyes hurt. I don't like 10*7, think I may go back to 8*6.

I think Groups 7 and 2 need checking as well, but all the numbers are making my eyes hurt. I don't like 10*7, think I may go back to 8*6.
where are the discrepancies?

*Extract from the Sowhat News*

Local Hero Wallace helps national team to win

Local boy William Wallace scored a Hat-trick in the last 10 mins yesterday as the Halfassedstates football team struggled to overcome the unknown Aves team.

Aves (the bottom team in the group) had failed to make an impression on the world cup before the game, but looked like they were going to change that in yesterdays match-up. The Halfassed team have slipped up recently on their travels, looked as though they would continue that trend.
The team seemed to find it hard to adjust to the conditions and it was Aves who had much the better of the first half, hitting the woodwork and twice forcing excellent saves from Malcolm.

In the second half, Sir James Munro changed the Halfassed formation to a more conventional 4-4-2 and rather surprisingly substituting Paisley, Halfassed top scorer in the competition.

As time went by in the half, the Aves team seemed to tire slightly, and Halfassedstates began to look more like the seeded team, but there was still no score until the 81st minute. Captain Ree King stepped inside his man on the edge of the box and fired in the shot. A fanastic block by the Aves keeper only succeed in hitting the ball against Wallace's knee and it crossed the line!
Two minutes later the game was over a contest, a long ball from Gibson was controlled by Adams who touched it through for Wallace and he rounded the keeper to knock it in.
In the last minute, a Ree King corner was touched on by his brother Lee, and into the path of the charging Wallace, who hammered the ball home to claim his first ever international hat-trick.

"While this doesn't make up for the Borderers losing third in the league, it is great to get the 3 goals and to keep Halfassedstates at the top of our group" said Wallace afterwards - showing that it is not just the Borderers fans who are dismayed by the HFA's recent descision.
Hopefully though, Wallace and his other Border colleagues can continue to propel Halfassedstaes in the World Cup.

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND WINS FIRST MATCH

Jim Whites, the coach, had the following to say:

"I am utterly pleased at the wonderful result, 3-1 is the best we've done so far, credit to H. Polskia, they did well, but we fared better."

Current Standings after Matchday Six

[code:1:a617f863cd]
Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 6 4 1 1 21 14 +7 13
Dannland 6 3 2 1 14 12 +2 11
Rave Shentavo 6 2 2 2 13 13 0 8
The Lowland Clans 6 2 1 3 11 10 +1 7
Lomina 6 2 1 3 11 12 -1 7
Darkseed 6 2 1 3 13 15 -2 7
Chakra (70) 6 2 1 4 12 14 -2 7
Avina 6 2 1 3 11 17 -6 7[/code:1:a617f863cd]

7 + 2 + 1 = 10
-6 + -2 + -2 + -1 = -11
Hmmm
*scratches head in confusion* huh? *continues scratching*

it the goal diff - it should be 0 when the +ves and -ves are added in the group.
Group 7 is out as well - will try and check it

where are the discrepancies?

Add up the GD, like I did. :roll: :lol:

Where is a tired emoticon?

Did you get Group 2 out by +2?

NEWSFLASH
Several PE Official are calling for an Official investigation of whats going on with The Belmore Family. They have no used the word "Cheating" but do question many of the referee decisions that have cost other teams goals against The Belmore Family and made The Belmore Family be able to score goals.
"We do understand that soccer is a game of great variation but having a team this dominant when they arn't ranked to high is something that raises many questions. Group 4 is one of only 2 groups to have an undefeated team in it with the difference with the other group being that the team is very high in rank and second place only being 5 points behind while in Group 4 the margin is 10. This raises many questions that need to be answered"

Undefeated Teams
[code:1:86f9d3e86c] P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 6 6 0 0 23 7 +16 18
Audioslavia (40) 6 5 1 0 22 9 +13 16
Oglethorpia (13) 6 5 1 0 15 7 +8 16
The Belmore Family (47) 6 6 0 0 18 5 +13 18
Runaway Moose (12) 6 6 0 0 14 4 +10 18
Halfassedstates (49) 6 4 2 0 16 7 +9 14
Dennisov (14) 6 2 4 0 11 7 +4 10
One Red Dot (30) 6 2 4 0 10 7 +3 10
[/code:1:86f9d3e86c]

Many be undeated wasn't the best word. I ment teams on 18point(ones that have only won).

Lets look at the point gaps
Quohog has a 5point lead to TNUI
Runaway Moose (12) has a 7point lead

The Belmore Family has a 10point lead with an unranked group containing a team ranked 11. The The Belmore Family is the highest ranked win only team. And the team ranked 2nd is unranked.

I dodn't know what kind of algorithm is at work but it simply doesn't work and give highly unrealist results.

PE FOR WC7 HOST

I AGREE!!!

And the Ariddia team, watching the progress of other nations on television, are still training and getting ready to embark for World Cup Six.

"This time it's a promise," team captain Khan said. "We'll make it to the semi-finals. We've trained hard, we have confirmed talents, new talents... and we are determined to do it." He grinned. "See you when the games begin..."

Did you get Group 2 out by +2?
Yep - Gp 8 is +1 and Gp 9 is -1 as well (I think)
Group 7 should read
[code:1:73acec804c]
Group 7 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Halfassedstates(49) 6 4 2 0 16 7 +9 14
Dead Man(58) 6 3 2 1 14 9 +5 11
Tintinnabulation 6 3 1 2 13 14 -1 10
Vegemite 6 2 2 2 12 10 +2 8
Tiburon 6 2 1 3 8 10 -2 7
Malundar 6 1 3 2 9 12 -3 6
Pavesia 6 1 2 3 11 14 -3 5
Aves 6 1 1 4 6 13 -7 4 [/code:1:73acec804c]

The Belmore Family wishes to promise they have not ever cheated in a World Cup and would never think of doing such a thing.
OCC:Honestly-I have never even telegrammed the hosts, let alone bribe them!

PE would like to add that it is not accusing The Belmore Family of cheating but is very concered about the ireguarities within the World Cup.

I AGREE!!!

Good,
Blame the Formula not me!

still, in every group (bar groups 9 and 2 obv) the top 3 spots are taken by 2 or 3 ranked teams. Its just Rivadavia and Giant Zuchini etc which seem to be getting screwed, so we could have a problem there. But theres like 8 games to go, look at Ironchefk. They had a crap start and now theyre like 3rd.

Besides, we always need some hapless overated bumfluff merchants to get kicked out :) bye bye Holland/Czech Republic :D

How can i get in to this cup?..

ChadMania has a keen sport program and would like to send a team to the next World cup.

this cups already started, tho u might be able to fill PE's spot when he storms off in a huff :lol:

theres a link to the next world cup, World Cup 7, on the previous page i think, u can sign up on that thread :)

this cups already started, tho u might be able to fill PE's spot when he storms off in a huff :lol:

theres a link to the next world cup, World Cup 7, on the previous page i think, u can sign up on that thread :)

Im not gonna leave. Just complain till the cows come home

PE FOR HOST WC7

Matchday 6 results
Tiburon 3 Pavesia 1
DAMN! :?

Belmore & The Promise of Joshua for host!

Vote TnUI for WC7

look at Ironchefk. They had a crap start and now theyre like 3rd.
or in group 7, Tintinnabulation have won their last 3 to sit in 3rd a point behind Dead Man.

Theres still over half the games to go - anything can happen :!:
- granted Belmore have got a hell of an advantage but that can still change.

Look at Poland in the last RL WC qualifiers - they walked the group without being a well seeded team - it happens :!: and there is always some big team that does an 'Audio' and screws-up ie. Holland

*sorry Audio*

Dear mumsi,

Dip had another automobile accident. This time in Quohog. I understand why they have been banned at home. They are dangerous things.

She had hired a big, black limousine and was speeding along a freeway that runs along a beach (apparently people swam there once) when a crazy, old man in wheel chair suddenly rolled across the asphalt in front of her. Dip swerved to avoid him, ran through a wire barrier fence and ended up in shallow water. Things were fine until she got out of the car and was dumped by a wave. She says that was when she broke her big toe on her left foot. The old man was last heard screaming, "Eleanor, Eleanor, what are you up to?"

The team had ben told that Quohog had magnificent shopping centres so we all journeyed to the biggest of them all, Happy Happy Centre. It is so big that nitense got lost and couldn't find his way out. As a result he missed the match. fionar was so upset at the site of butchered carcases, leather shoes and fur coats that she had to return to the team bus. In any case, the rest of the team, except nitense, got bored after about 15 minutes and joined her. A search party was organized by the shopping centre corporation (for a fee) and nitense was found the following afternoon. We also got a taste of the most popular drink in the nation, Coca Cola. sandrab said it was no wonder that the Errinundrian importer went broke.

The one-nil loss to Quohog was indicative of the low morale of the team. They badly miss antarcticad and oreadest, not just for their flamboyant presence on the field, but their liveliness generally. To the two strikers life equals enjoyment and this has always been infectious for people around them. To make matters worse, rumours that oreadest had spiked antarcticads drink with the depa is causing great concern within the team. Perhaps, as well, the team was suffering a hangover from the excitement of the game against Total and Utter Insanity.

One last item worth mentioning is that, on arrival in Quohog, customs officials examined our luggage extremely thoroughly. They seemed disappointed until they found longipesp's current reading material, "The New Reader in 19th and 20th Century Spanish Anarchism." A man in a heavy coat and dark glasses told her that she should consider herself very fortunate that she was a famous soccer star and a foreign national. The book and our visit achieved some minor notoriety after that. It's so odd to hear leaders of capitalist nations refer to us as part of an axis of evil. longipesp has a quiet and diffident personality. She wouldn't be capable of hurting a mulch ant. A bit like Errinundera really.

Anyway, Dip is in fine spirits despite her injury. If only I could persuade her to stay away from cars. You won't get me anywhere near one. And you, Mumsi. If only you would keep clear of those nasty nazis.

Your loving son.

princec.

Right have sorted groups 2 and 8 :D - ain't got 9 yet tho :cry:
updated tables
[code:1:8cd699b1ee]
Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia (40) 6 5 1 0 22 9 +13 16
_AMP 6 4 1 1 16 10 +6 13
Great White Sharks 6 3 1 2 13 9 +4 10
Porvoo 6 3 0 3 17 14 +3 9
Cobra Cult 6 3 0 3 16 19 -3 9
Iuthia 6 1 1 4 11 18 -7 4
Starving Children 6 1 1 4 11 19 -8 4
Jay Cutter 6 1 1 4 9 17 -8 4

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov (14) 6 2 4 0 11 7 +4 10
One Red Dot (30) 6 2 4 0 10 7 +3 10
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 6 2 3 1 10 7 +3 9
Crimson Sparta 6 2 2 2 8 8 0 8
Australian Marsupials 6 2 1 3 7 8 -1 7
Busby 6 2 1 3 9 11 -2 7
Ravenspire (24) 6 2 1 3 8 10 -2 7
Jurimaxistan 6 1 2 3 8 13 -5 5 [/code:1:8cd699b1ee]

Correct Standings after Matchday Six
Accuracy 100% Guaranteed...Satisfaction Not :P

[code:1:feb3746189]Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 6 6 0 0 23 7 +16 18
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 6 4 1 1 16 7 +9 13
Mezitzia 6 2 2 2 10 9 +1 8
Timway 6 2 2 2 11 16 -5 8
LordSquall 6 2 1 3 12 20 -8 7
Errinundera (17) 6 1 3 2 9 8 +1 6
Liverpool England 6 1 2 3 10 11 -1 5
Hegemonia Polska 6 0 1 5 9 22 -13 1

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia (40) 6 5 1 0 22 9 +13 16
_AMP 6 4 1 1 16 10 +6 13
Great White Sharks 6 3 1 2 13 9 +4 10
Porvoo 6 3 0 3 17 14 +3 9
Cobra Cult 6 3 0 3 16 19 -3 9
Iuthia 6 1 1 4 11 18 -7 4
Starving Children 6 1 1 4 11 19 -8 4
Jay Cutter 6 1 1 4 9 17 -8 4

Group 3 P W D L F A GD Pts
Oglethorpia (13) 6 5 1 0 15 7 +8 16
Dark Outcasts (42) 6 4 0 2 16 11 +5 12
Eauz 6 4 0 2 12 9 +3 12
La Darien (36) 6 3 1 2 10 9 +1 10
Albion Soviets 6 2 1 3 12 14 -2 7
Northern Kings 6 1 3 2 13 13 0 6
Giant Zucchini (10) 6 1 1 4 8 11 -3 4
BK_Samurai 6 0 1 5 2 14 -12 1

Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 6 6 0 0 18 5 +13 18
Communation 6 2 2 2 14 15 -1 8
Pure Evil (22) 6 2 2 2 10 11 -1 8
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 6 2 1 3 8 8 0 7
VA Industrialized 6 2 1 3 10 12 -2 7
Nevershadow 6 2 1 3 9 11 -2 7
Futililia 6 2 1 3 12 15 -3 7
Tha Machine 6 1 2 3 8 12 -4 5

Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 (20) 6 5 0 1 15 4 +11 15
Tanah Burung (8) 6 5 0 1 14 6 +8 15
Shaw Heath 6 3 0 3 8 9 -1 9
Bubbasa the Great 6 2 1 3 9 11 -2 7
Copiosa Scotia (50) 6 2 1 3 12 15 -3 7
Nova Polonia 6 1 3 2 12 16 -4 6
Whorecore 6 1 2 3 10 14 -4 5
Benjibouti 6 1 1 4 11 16 -5 4

Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 6 6 0 0 14 4 +10 18
Haraki (29) 6 3 2 1 15 8 +7 11
Ironchefk (9) 6 3 0 3 12 7 +5 9
Alhana Catherine (48) 6 1 4 1 12 10 +2 7
Aquilla 6 2 1 3 7 13 -6 7
The Midnight Armies 6 2 0 4 9 17 -8 6
Christofi (28) 6 1 2 3 7 11 -4 5
Bedistan (27) 6 0 3 3 5 11 -6 3

Group 7 P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates (49) 6 4 2 0 16 7 +9 14
Dead Man (58) 6 3 2 1 14 9 +5 11
Tintinnabulation 6 3 1 2 13 14 -1 10
Vegemite 6 2 2 2 12 10 +2 8
Tiburon 6 2 1 3 8 10 -2 7
Malundar 6 1 3 2 9 12 -3 6
Pavesia 6 1 2 3 11 14 -3 5
Aves 6 1 1 4 6 13 -7 4

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov (14) 6 2 4 0 11 7 +4 10
One Red Dot (30) 6 2 4 0 10 7 +3 10
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 6 2 3 1 10 7 +3 9
Crimson Sparta 6 2 2 2 8 8 0 8
Australian Marsupials 6 2 1 3 7 8 -1 7
Busby 6 2 1 3 9 11 -2 7
Ravenspire (24) 6 2 1 3 8 10 -2 7
Jurimaxistan 6 1 2 3 8 13 -5 5

Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 6 4 1 1 20 12 +8 13
Dannland 6 3 2 1 14 12 +2 11
Rave Shentavo 6 2 2 2 13 13 0 8
The Lowland Clans 6 2 1 3 11 10 +1 7
Lomina 6 2 1 3 11 12 -1 7
Darkseed 6 2 1 3 13 15 -2 7
Chakra (70) 6 2 1 4 12 14 -2 7
Avina 6 2 1 3 11 17 -6 7[/code:1:feb3746189]

i would like to enter 3 teams from my region into your world cup they are

the full of steroids team of:communist wombles

the uranium buying:nuclear wombles and

the evil monarchy of :wombla :D :D :D :D :twisted: :twisted:

***** ASPN NEWS SPECIAL WORLD CUP 6 REPORT *****

*the new aspn sports theme (if anything, more inappropriate to sports than the old theme) can be heard, just a few decibles too loud. we see, in rapid sequence, four fabulous goals being scored, a magnificent save, and the hooligan cheerleadesr being bombarded with extremely ripe vegetables - all with a transparent WC6 logo superimposed. the scene changes to the new ASPN sports desk - which looks like the old ASPN sports desk with a blue table cloth draped over it*

The qualifying matches for World Cup 6 continue, with excellent results so far for the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans. Today the Hooligans faced the international side from Copiosa Scotia. Before the match, we asked Manager Ben Dover if he would be making any changes.

*cut to Ben Dover responding on mike, with the Hooligans practicing in the background*

“No, we don’t plan on any changes. We’ve been having a bit of success with the starting lineup, and with the 4-4-2 formation we’ve been using. 4 wins and only one loss, and that to the 8th ranked team in the world, and we stand second in our group, so we intend to continue with what’s working for us.”

“So, what adjustments will you make?”

“Are you deaf, man? Didn’t I just say we aren’t making any changes?”

Today’s match began with an apparent fluke goal at the kickoff. The Snub Nose 38 side had the ball to start the half, and here’s what happened.

*film of the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans kicking off. The striker kicks the ball back to a midfielder, and the team begins moving towards the Copiosa Scotia goal. the midfielder boots a long pass over the Copiosa Scotia defenders. the ball takes an odd bounce, sails over the keepers head, and nestles into the corner of the net*

Which made the score during the 1st minute Copiosa Scotia 0 – Snub Nose 38 1. The teams played evenly until the 38th minute, when the Hooligans scored again on a penalty kick. A Copiosa Scotia defender was yellow carded for a tackle in the box where he simply missed the ball. On the PK the keeper dove left, the ball went right and the score went to Copiosa Scotia 0 – Hooligans 2.

*we see a copiosa scotia defender attempt to tackle the ball away from a hooligan striker just inside the box on the right side. just as the defender swipes at the ball, the striker slips it to the side, and the defender’s kick hits the hooligan striker in the leg, tripping him. the referee runs in with yellow card raised, indicating the copiosa scotia defender, and then points to the penalty spot.*

Copiosa Scotia got back into the match with a goal of their own in the 44th minute.

*the film is of a copiosa scotia striker slipping the ball to himself with a rainbow kick that lifts the ball over his head, over the snub nose 38 defenders head, and then dropping down just in front of the striker, at about 15 yards out. he slams the ball into the side netting at the far post, out of reach of the diving hooligan keeper*

And that’s where matters stood at the half. During half time the Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders, recently released from custody, provided entertainment.

*the hooligan cheerleaders run onto the field. they form a rough "SN", and begin*

“Snub Nose Hooligans go to town
Hooligans, Hooligans, take ‘em down
Copiosa Scotia, can’t get any closa
YEAH Hooligans!!
BOO Copi Scotia!!
Kick ‘em when they’re down!!"

*the cheerleaders are pelted with ripe tomatoes (as well as several other types of vegetables) as they are dragged from the field by several stadium guards, a bunch of fans, two copiosa scotia players, and three snub nose 38 hooligan players. as they are dragged past the copiosa scotia bench, the hooligan cheerleaders throw some of the vegetables they have caught at the copiosa scotia side. a fist fight breaks out between the hooligan cheerleaders and everybody else. a swat team forms a protective line around the hooligan cheerleaders and hurries them off the field and out of the stadium*

That incident is not going to help the Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders defense against the charges of Malicious Mischief, Assault, Disturbing the Peace, and Cheering in Poor Taste, that have been filed against them for previous incidents.

Second half play stayed even until the 63rd minute, when the Hooligan striker took a long pass neatly, with his back to the goal protecting the ball from two defenders. He then turned and slipped between the two defenders, found himself clear and drilled the ball to the upper far corner. The Copiosa Scotia keeper lunged at the ball but just could not reach it in time. Copiosa Scotia 1 - Snub Nose 38 Hooligans 3.

*video tapes show the hooligan striker taking the ball...ah, you know. what i said up there ^*

Copiosa Scotia had several excellent chances, but didn’t seem to be able to finish.

*a copiosa scotia player is seen firing a shot from about 25 yards out that gets past the keeper, but also sails a few inches above the cross bar. another shot is taken and just tipped wide by the keeper. and a third from only about 12 yards out that glances off a defender and goes just wide of the near post.*

In the 89th minute the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans got the last goal of the match on a well executed corner kick.

*we see a – well, we see – well, it’s a… umm…hey, it’s a well executed corner kick. you know what that looks like*

Final score COPIOSA SCOTIA 1 – SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 4

This lifted the Snub Nose 38 side to first place in their group, over Tanah Burung by Goal Differential, after 6 qualifying games with 8 to go. We asked Assistant Manager Eileen Dover about this after the match.

*eileen has a mike held in front of her. she looks rather pleased*

“Eileen, what does it mean to be in first place in your group after 6 matches?”

*eileens face registers something between contempt and disbelief*

“Are you serious? Is that your question? You’re wasting my time asking me a question like that? I could be down with the boys celebrating, but no, I stop here to give you a chance to ask a question, and that’s what you come up with? Here’s a question for you. What does it mean that ASPN has a complete idiot covering this match?”

*and we see eileen dover give a well known gesture to the ASPN reporter, turn, and leave*

***** THIS HAS BEEN AN ASPN SPECIAL WORLD CUP 6 REPORT*****

OOC: You are playing with only 2 Defenders? Is that wise?

OOC: You are playing with only 2 Defenders? Is that wise?

OOC: Not wise, just backwards. :oops: Thanx - fixed :roll:

This is my 250th post in NationStates.

I think it means I'm now a.....

[edit]

YES!

:P

*we are standing in the hallway just outside the office of the Snub Nose 38 Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages. the door slowly opens. through the open door we see the minister dancing maniacally. he is chanting*

-WE'RE NUMBER ONE!! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!

*just behind the minister, we see his secretary, margaret. margaret is wearing a deep burgundy robe and a midnight blue hooded cape. in her left hand is a small leather pouch tied tightly shut with a cord of silver, which also affixes two eagle feathers to the pouch. in her right hand is a heavy wooden staff, worn smooth with age. margaret is waving the leather pouch slowly over the smooth granite table in front of her, her eyes closed. margaret is also chanting*

- Oh Random Number Gods! We beseach thee, grant us LARGE numbers! We offer this sacrifice in supplication!

*a curious gust of wind that seems to come directly out of the wall to our left blows the door of the Snub Nose 38 Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages closed.*

Brazillico is looking to be in excessively fine form as they try to regain the momentum which took them to the cup four years ago.

In Kaze Progressa, Manager Emilio Curtiba put forth a starting line-up laden with future hopes of the team. These young players, in general, collectively seized the opportunity to impress the manager and perhaps win some more playing time, as they pulled a 2-1 win in Kaze Progressa, a game squad whom no one expected to hold the match that close. Goals were scored by Iban and Salazar.

Returning to their home region of FIFA, Brazillico then took assault of the 13th ranked team in the world, Oglethorpia. As all matches in this tour, it was a close affair with the seasoned Brazillico pulling it out in the end with a 2-1 victory in front of the rambunctuous(sp?) Oglethorpia faithful. Suarez scored both goals in the game.

Brazillico will remain in FIFA and square off against Gilmeecia, where the match might be somewhat of a distraction to the Gilmeecian's national sport, since the International Piercing Competition is going on.

DAILY CROCODILE

Coach Bi Kikere sent her entire team to bed without supper after a crushing defeat at Nova Polonia. Half rations were given to van Esterik, the only goal scorer in a disastrous outing.

"We can't win every game," said captain Ab Francisco. Bi Kikere on hearing the remark announced that Francisco will be benched for one game for "negative thinking."

"We can and must win this group," she told an assembled team as she ordered them to stand at attention in a cold driving rain and drop for random push-ups in the Nova Polonian mud. "Being second to Snub Nose 20 is utterly unacceptable. There will be changes next match, or there will be hell to pay!" The first step was sacking goaltender Gamboa in favour of first-stringer Simon da Gama. "And if he can't hack it," the coach added, "I'll play goal myself."

Trouble started early when the Flying Cassowary was unable to locate Nova Polonia. Expecting it to be somewhere near Polonia, navigator Vasco set course for Europe before realizing that Nova Polonia was somewhere else entirely. This reporter is not quite sure where: is "the Crimson Order" a continent? Suffice to say it rained, the pitch turned into a morass of churned-up mud, and the Crocodiles felt like they were playing on butter while having a cold shower. Their performance showed it.

Next up? The navigator is not sure, but is confident he will find the correct continent this trip. "My new atlas is guaranteed to show 75% of all known countries," Vasco said. 75%? We'll see if that is enough.

OOC: You are playing with only 2 Defenders? Is that wise?

OOC: I did that once, and I got thrashed. :p

Bedistan, I hope to trash you

Bedistan, I hope to trash you

You can hope all you want, but it ain't gonna happen. Common sense dictates that my team will finally win a game this time. I'll bet my appendix on it! :D

OOC: Sorry to post this here, but every time I've tried to reply on the WC7 thread, it's caused my computer to freeze. No idea why... :shock:

IC:
For the first time, West Ariddia has requested to participate in the World Cup. The capitalist-run island that seceded from the People's Republic of Ariddia several years ago has never participated in the Cup, but the government says today that the national team is 'ready to face the challenge'.

The complete team line-up has yet to be decided, but the team's goalkeeper, bearing the number 1, will be Lily Mayantar, while brothers Georg and Jiri Bane (10 & 11) will play forward.

OOC:
This is also to confirm Ariddia will, of course, be taking part. :)

Matchday 7 results

Group 1
TnUI 1 Quohog 2
Liverpool England 2 LordSquall 2
Timway 3 Errinundera 3
Mezitzia 1 Hegemonia Polska 2

Group 2
Porvoo 1 Jay Cutter 1
Iuthia 0 Cobra Cult 2
_AMP 1 Great White Sharks 4
Starving Children 1 Audioslavia 1

Group 3
Oglethorpia 2 Albion Soviets 2
Northern Kings 1 Dark Outcasts 1
Giant Zucchini 1 La Darien 0
BK_Samurai 5 Eauz 1

Group 4
Communation 1 The Belmore Family 2
Pure Evil 2 Futililia 3
Tha Machine 4 Lunatic Goofballs 0
Nevershadow 3 VA Industrialized 3

Group 5
Nova Polonia 2 Bubbasa the Great 2
Copiosa Scotia 3 Shaw Heath 0
Tanah Burung 1 Benjibouti 0
Whorecore 1 Snub Nose 38 1

Group 6
The Midnight Armies 3 Christofi 3
Aquilla 0 Bedistan 4
Haraki 0 Runaway Moose 0
Alhana Catherine 1 Ironchefk 3

Group 7
Aves 2 Malundar 3
Tiburon 1 Dead Man 0
Halfassedstates 1 Vegemite 2
Tintinnabulation 1 Pavesia 4

Group 8
Dennisov 1 One Red Dot 2
Jurimaxistan 4 Gesamkuntswerk 2
Australian Marsupials 2 Busby 2
Ravenspire 1 Crimson Sparta 1

Group 9
The Lowland Clans 5 Dannland 3
Akbarland 2 Rave Shentavo 2
Lomina 2 Chakra 2
Avina 3 Darkseed 1

Yes...1 point from second place...:D!

Coming to you live on the Lemmitanian Radio Network, this is Count Down to the World Cup! I’m your host, Mel Flanders, and joining me in the studio are Clem Gilson and the “Dean of Lemmitanian sports”, Gil Lemson.

Clem: Peace, Mel.

Gil: Wot’s with putting the “quotation marks” around me title, Mel?

Mel: Don’t start with me, Lemson.

Gil: I’m just trying to get me due. It says right here in my contract--

Mel: We’re thirty seconds into the broadcast and already you’re doing your best to push my buttons--

Gil: I’m sorry you don’t like it Mel, but you lost and I won. Be a good sport about it, why don’t you?

Mel: I said the words. The contract says I have to, and I did. That’s all I’m gonna--

Gil: You put quotation marks around the words. Fascism, they call that, Mel.

Mel: What the hell are you talking about?

Gil: Fascism. That’s like when you’re sarcastic.

Clem: You mean “facetious?”

Gil: “Facetious” is an adjective, Clem. The noun is “fascism.”

Clem: No it isn’t.

Gil: Wot do you know about parts of speech? “Fascism” is too a noun. Look it up in the bloomin’ dictionary!

Clem: I’m not saying ‘fascism’ isn’t a noun. I’m saying it isn’t a form of ‘facetious.’

Gil: Oh yeah? Wot do you think ‘fascism’ is then?

Clem: It’s a political system. Best known as an oppressive one that commits genocide against its own citizens.

Gil: Wull... I never ‘eard of sarcasm gettin’ that far out of control.

Clem: No. Neither have I.

Gil: Maybe if Denis Leary was doin’ it--

Clem: All right, look: fascism and facetiousness are two different things. Can you get that through your head? You chose the wrong word.

Gil: I don’t know, Clem. Sounds like maybe I chose the wrong word.

Clem: I just said that.

Gil: True, true. Sorry, Mel, I didn’t mean to equate you with Denis Leary. You were just being a little facetious. Not like a screaming maniac insult-comic.

Mel: Are you done with your asinine little aside? Can we get back to the broadcast?

Gil: We’re still on the broadcast, ain’t we?

Mel: We’re off the topic!

Gil: So bring it back in line. You’re the ‘ost, or so I ‘eard you say in the introduction.

Mel: All right, then. I was going to start off by saying it’s nice to be back together after four years.

Gil: But something’s changed your mind, ‘as it?

Mel: It was a crazy idea even to have considered it.

Gil: So why are you ‘ere?

Mel: Because I’m not going to let you drive me away!

Gil: Like I did your crazy mentor, Shemp.

Mel: Don’t you start on Shemp!

Gil: ‘e can take it. An’ ‘e can give it. Did you ‘ear the invectives ‘e launched at me in court? ‘e came prepared, that one-- no way ‘e thought those up on the fly. Too bad we’re on the radio, or I could repeat some of ‘em.

Mel: He may have gotten emotional, but you can hardly blame him. What you did to that poor man--

Gil: I did nothing. And the Superior Court system of Lemmitania backs me up on that. It’s nice to ‘ave the courts on your side.

Clem: For once. But even when they’re not, you get by.

Gil: I do, don’t I?

Mel: Are you going to cooperate?

Gil: Wot kind of a question is that?

Mel: Okay, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to talk football. You can join me, or not, as you choose. But I’m not going to let you sidetrack me.

Gil: Fire away.

Mel: Okay. We’re about halfway through the qualifiers. I’m going to just take a shot in the dark and guess that you’re been following the games?

Clem: You know it.

Gil: You know I’ve been too busy with me court appearances.

Mel: Great. The field’s shaping up along the line you’d expect. A few ranked teams have been having early trouble, but for the most part so surprises?

Clem: Giant Zucchini’s been having a rough patch. The WC3 champs are really struggling. But I think we’ve seen some flashes of their true talent, and with a long qualifier, they should turn it around.

Mel: How about Errinundera?

Clem: Well, they’ve had some poor luck. A couple of close losses, draws where they might have won... the team’s been having some off-field troubles, with the drug scandal, and difficulties adjusting to life on the road. They’re a pretty insular people, and there’s no question that travel’s taking a real toll on the players. But I think they’ll pull it together and work their way back up in the standings. They’re in a tough group, though, with TnUI and Quohog.

Mel: Speaking of Quohog, they’re really tearing it up.

Clem: One of the surprises of the qualifiers, so far. A team that some people thought was past its glory years. If they can keep up the pace, they’ll really be one to contend with in the tourney.

Mel: So, your predicitions?

Clem: Well, first of all there are the no-brainers. We’ve got Total ‘n’ Utter Insanity, Tanah Burung, Snub Nose 38, Oglethorpia, and Runaway Moose. All high-ranked teams that are having absolutely no trouble with their groups. Then Quohog, Halfassedstates, and Audioslavia. They all look to be in excellent form, but I’d wait a few more matches before calling them locks.

Mel: So let’s run down the groups and make our picks.

Clem: Okay, in group one, it’s got to be TnUI and probably Quohog. Errinundera with a good chance of nabbing that third spot if they pull out of their funk.

Mel: Agreed. Group two?

Clem: Audioslavia. _AMP is right there with them, but in a fourteen-match qualifier, I’m not making any predicitons regarding these unknowns.

Mel: I like _AMP. But you have a good point; will they have staying power?

Gil: Not likely.

Mel: What do you know?

Gil: About what?

Mel: About _AMP.

Gil: I know I can’t pronounce their name.

Clem: I could make a snide remark about your accent here, but I won’t.

Gil: How kind of you.

Mel: Moving on to group three-- Oglethorpia we both like.

Clem: Then I’m going to go with Giant Zucchini. I think they’ll get it together.

Mel: Yeah, I’m not sure. I like Dark Outcasts.

Clem: Not a bad call. I could see DO taking second in the group and GZ getting third, but I think they’ll wind up with enough points to qualify.

Mel: Group 4. The Belmore Family is taking no prisoners.

Clem: Yeah, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say they’re about at the end of their run.

Mel: They’re way ahead in their group. You don’t think they’ll qualify?

Clem: Well... maybe. I’m saying they’re about to stop winning. They may coast into the tourney, but I don’t think they have a chance of making the second round.

Mel: Bold prediction. Don’t know if I’m going to support you on that one. What about Lunatic Goofballs?

Gil: Good ol’ Goofballs.

Clem: They haven’t brought the same spirit to this Cup they had in the last few. I’ll be surprised if they don’t qualify, but... I don’t now, something’s missing. All of group four is a little disappointing.

Mel: How about five? I think we’ve already predicted that one.

Clem: Tanah Burung and Snub Nose 38 in a walkoff.

Mel: Enough said. Group six?

Clem: Alces Rex, of course. And then it’s anyone’s group. I’m going to go out on another limb with this one and say Ironchefk’s gonna pull it out.

Mel: Really. You think so?

Clem: I do. I think they’ve had some rotten luck, and they’re due. I’d look for them to pick up three or four wins in the next eight matches, draw a few more, and work their way up in the standings.

Mel: Three or four wins will be enough?

Clem: I think so. The whole group’s beating up on each other.

Mel: I’m going to pick Aquilla to hang in there.

Clem: Really? The newcomers in a group full of ranked sides. Well, you never know.

Mel: I think we’ll see three advancing from this group. What about group seven?

Clem: Halfassedstates and Dead Man. Not much question, the ranked teams are comfortable in group seven.

Mel: Agreed. Eight?

Clem: Another tough one, with a lot of ranked sides. I’m going to go with Dennisov and Gesamkuntswerk.

Mel: I like One Red Dot and Ravenspire.

Clem: Either way, three from group eight will be getting in.

Mel: Definitely. And group nine?

Clem: I’ve noticed that a lot of journalists aren’t touching group nine. Too many unknowns.

Mel: What about you?

Clem: I’ll be bold and take Akbarland and The Lowland Clans. Who knows if they’ll keep playing well, but I have a good feeling about those two.

Mel: All right. Some bold choices in there. Now, we’ll break for some important messages and return to talk about your Lemmitania Lemmings.

Matchday 7 results

Group 6
Aquilla 0 Bedistan 4


OOC:

'BOUT FREAKIN' TIME! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!@!@!!!!!111

*ahem*

Match report to come soon... :D

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the Oppressed Peoples of Gilmeecia.

President Louis Gilsterson: Thank you. My fellow Gilmeecians, assorted members of the domestic and imported press, I come before you today to speak about this so-called ‘environment’ everybody’s so up in arms about. Apparently this thing is all the rage, so I want to assure you that the government of Gilmeecia is all over it. We wouldn’t want you to think we’re letting this ‘environment’ thing go by without jumping on the bandwagon.

Now, as you’ll recall, I said last week that I’d have Ned look into this question of the napalming of the National Stadium zone having an ‘effect’ on this here ‘environment.’ And true to my word, here he is all ready to issue a report. I think you’ll all be very impressed with the effort he put into it. So, with no further ado, here’s Foreign Minister Ned Itchlesby to put things in an election-friendly light.

Foreign Minister Ned Itchlesby: All right people, now listen up: I’ve been working very hard on finding out whether the environment was damaged when we napalmed the Stadium zone. In fact, I was working so hard on it that I forgot to have a report written. So there’s not going to be any report. Sorry about that. But I did have a whole team of environmental experts come down to the Stadium zone and take a look at it. And they concluded that everything’s absolutely hunky-dory. As Lou said the other day, the napalm had exactly bupkus effect on the ‘environment.’ All we did was burn down some scrub and a few rats, and the rats have already been exported! So I don’t get what everybody’s so up in arms about. So that’s it.

Pres: Now, just to lay your fears to rest, Ned will answer any questions the press care to fling his way.

FM: What?

Pres: Gillian.

GG: Gillian Gilquester, Gilmeecian Times-Ledger. Can you be more specific about the team of experts who examined the Stadium zone, Mr. Itchlesby?

FM: More specific? They were experts. How much more specific can you get?

GG: Well, who were they, sir?

FM: Oh, geez. Lemme think. There was my cousin Sluggo, and his kid. Sluggo’s kid’s learning all about the environment in her civics class, so right there you’ve got a hell of a lot of expertise. And there was Rocky Markleson, and Biff.

GG: Biff who, sir?

FM: I don’t know. He’s just Biff.

GG: Well, not to be impertinent sir, but Gilmeecia wants to know. What’s his last name?

FM: He hangs out at the barbershop where I get my hair cut! I don’t know his last freakin’ name. But I tell you this, Gillian, he’s always goin’ on about the environment. So he’s the perfect guy to investigate this. Enough from GIllian. Somebody else ask me one.

MM: Miff Mifflesberry, Gilmeecia Today. Who’s this ‘Rocky Markleson’?

FM: He’s an independent contractor. You don’t need to know the details.

Pres: All right, Blintz.

BM: Blintz Mitersaw, National Times of Gilmeecia Weekly. Minister Itchlesby, the National Stadium zone is known to have included a grove of Gilmeecian Prickly Thorntrees.

FM: That’s right. We burned those throny bastards right to the ground.

BM: Were you aware that the Prickly Thorntree is on the Endangered Plant list? The trees in the National Stadium zone constituted the last extant grove in the country.

FM: The what, now?

BM: Um-- which part didn’t you get, sir?

FM: I heard up through “National Stadium zone.” Then it went right over my head.

BM: Well, you got the gist of the question then, sir. My viewers are very concerned about the Endangered Plant list.

FM: So there’s an Endangered Plant list, now? What’s next, an Endangered Weed list? Endangered Cockroaches? I mean come on, people. We’re talking Prickly Thorntrees here. Did you ever try climbing one of those? I mean when you were a kid. ‘Cause if you did, you wouldn’t be crying over ‘em now. It’s like climbing around inside an iron maiden. You ever try that, Blintz?

BM: Um, no, sir. My mother warned me about the thorns.

FM: Well, my mother believed in learning things the old-fashioned way. I was in the hospital for a freaking week after that. So I’m not apologizing for getting rid of those damn Thorntrees. They were a hazard. We should have done something about them years ago. Next question.

Pres: Glick.

GM: So the government’s position is that the destruction of the last grove of Prickly Thorntrees was intentional?

FM: Sure.

Pres: No! No, no, no. Don’t ask Ned a question like that, you know he’s soft in the head. Look, people, we are saddened and distraught over the loss of the Gilmeecian Prickly Thorntrees. Believe me, if we’d known that napalming the Stadium zone would burn down the Thorntrees, we would never have done it. It was a completely unforeseen consequence. But, hey, it was an honest mistake. Nobody would ever intentionally burn down Endangered trees, no matter how sharp their thorns. Okay? Now, Ned, I know my sister didn’t marry you for your brains. But for crying out loud, you’d think you’ve never done a press conference before. You can’t say things like that to the press. Now apologize, okay?

FM: Sorry, Lou.

Pres: Not to me! Apologize for accidentally burning down the trees!

FM: Oh. Yeah, uh, the Foreign Ministry would like to issue a formal apology to the Environment for, uh, napalming your lovely Prickly Thorntrees. We sincerely regret any inconvenience we’ve caused the environment by napalming it.

Pres: Okay, I think we’ve all learned an important lesson here. I know I have. And what is that lesson? Don’t put Ned in charge of anything. Ever. For cripes’ sake, the guy can’t even run a proper glossing-over. Okay, I think we’d better not field any more questions. Thank you.

Current Standings After Matchday Seven
(hopefully accurate this time)

[code:1:04fa785338]Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 7 7 0 0 25 8 +17 21
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 7 4 1 2 17 9 +8 13
Timway 7 2 3 2 14 19 -5 9
Mezitzia 7 2 2 3 11 11 0 8
LordSquall 7 2 2 3 14 22 -8 8
Errinundera (17) 7 1 4 2 12 11 +1 7
Liverpool England 7 1 3 3 12 13 -1 6
Hegemonia Polska 7 1 1 5 11 23 -12 4

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia (40) 7 5 2 0 23 10 +13 17
Great White Sharks 7 4 1 2 17 10 +7 13
_AMP 7 4 1 2 17 14 +3 13
Cobra Cult 7 4 0 3 18 19 -1 12
Porvoo 7 3 1 3 18 15 +3 10
Starving Children 7 1 2 4 12 20 -8 5
Jay Cutter 7 1 2 4 10 18 -8 5
Iuthia 7 1 1 5 11 20 -9 4

Group 3 P W D L F A GD Pts
Oglethorpia (13) 7 5 2 0 17 9 +8 17
Dark Outcasts (42) 7 4 1 2 17 12 +5 13
Eauz 7 4 0 3 13 14 -1 12
La Darien (36) 7 3 1 3 10 10 0 10
Albion Soviets 7 2 2 3 14 16 -2 8
Northern Kings 7 1 4 2 14 14 0 7
Giant Zucchini (10) 7 2 1 4 9 11 -2 7
BK_Samurai 7 1 1 5 7 15 -8 4

Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 7 7 0 0 20 6 +14 21
Futililia 7 3 1 3 15 17 -2 10
Tha Machine 7 2 2 3 12 12 0 8
Communation 7 2 2 3 15 17 -2 8
VA Industrialized 7 2 2 3 13 15 -2 8
Nevershadow 7 2 2 3 12 14 -2 8
Pure Evil (22) 7 2 2 3 12 14 -2 8
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 7 2 1 4 8 12 -4 7

Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung (8) 7 6 0 1 15 6 +9 18
Snub Nose 38 (20) 7 5 1 1 16 5 +11 16
Copiosa Scotia (50) 7 3 1 3 15 15 0 10
Shaw Heath 7 3 0 4 8 12 -4 9
Bubbasa the Great 7 2 2 3 11 13 -2 8
Nova Polonia 7 1 4 2 14 18 -4 7
Whorecore 7 1 3 3 11 15 -4 6
Benjibouti 7 1 1 5 11 17 -6 4

Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 7 6 1 0 14 4 +10 19
Ironchefk (9) 7 4 0 3 15 8 +7 12
Haraki (29) 7 3 3 1 15 8 +7 12
Alhana Catherine (48) 7 1 4 2 13 13 0 7
The Midnight Armies 7 2 1 4 12 20 -8 7
Aquilla 7 2 1 4 7 17 -10 7
Bedistan (27) 7 1 3 3 9 11 -2 6
Christofi (28) 7 1 3 3 10 14 -4 6

Group 7 P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates (49) 7 4 2 1 17 9 +8 14
Dead Man (58) 7 3 2 2 14 10 +4 11
Vegemite 7 3 2 2 14 11 +3 11
Tiburon 7 3 1 3 9 10 -1 10
Tintinnabulation 7 3 1 3 14 18 -4 10
Malundar 7 2 3 2 12 14 -2 9
Pavesia 7 2 2 3 15 15 0 8
Aves 7 1 1 5 8 16 -8 4

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
One Red Dot (30) 7 3 4 0 12 8 +4 13
Dennisov (14) 7 2 4 1 12 9 +3 10
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 7 2 3 2 12 11 +1 9
Crimson Sparta 7 2 3 2 9 9 0 9
Australian Marsupials 7 2 2 3 9 10 -1 8
Busby 7 2 2 3 11 13 -2 8
Ravenspire (24) 7 2 2 3 9 11 -2 8
Jurimaxistan 7 2 2 3 12 15 -3 8

Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 7 4 2 1 22 14 +8 14
Dannland 7 3 2 2 17 17 0 11
The Lowland Clans 7 3 1 3 16 13 +3 10
Avina 7 3 1 3 14 18 -4 10
Rave Shentavo 7 2 3 2 15 15 0 9
Lomina 7 2 2 3 13 14 -1 8
Chakra (70) 7 2 2 3 14 16 -2 8
Darkseed 7 2 1 4 14 18 -4 7[/code:1:04fa785338]

Sam: LIVE, from the Republic of Aquilla, THIS is Game Seven of World Cup Six Qualifying! Here in the booth with me is none other than Joey Stanton. How are you today?

Joey: I'm doing all right, Sam. Wish I could say the same for our team...

Sam: Yes, indeed, the Lions come into this match dead last in Group 6 with an abysmal 0-3-3 record so far, and their coach's job is on the line.

Joey: Well, I saw the team get off the plane today, and they looked like they really wanted to kick some butt. Whether they will or not remains to be seen.

Sam: And for our viewers at home wanting to know a little more about this place, I've seen some very high levels of security at this event.

Joey: I noticed the customs officials were very worried about the possibility that we may have had Baetican nationals aboard the plane -- Baetica being the country that borders Bedistan to the southeast -- and wanted a full background check on everyone.

Sam: Well, from my understanding, the Aquillans don't seem to like them all that much, but at any rate, we're here now and nobody has been taken into custody.

Joey: Another thing I've noticed -- it's pretty freakin' cold here.

Sam: Yes, it is. It's late spring in Bedistan right now, and temperatures are really warming up, especially in the south, but we've been thrown back into winter here.

Joey: Yep. Good thing I brought my coat.

Sam: So, about the match. Who's playing for Bedistan today?

Joey: It's the usual lineup -- Bell, Weiss, Thomas, and Johnson on defense, Sierra, King, Barber, and Burks at midfield, Lewis and Whitehurst up front -- but our usual starting goalkeeper, Olivia Bream, is out with an arm injury she sustained in our last match. Chuck Mitchell will take her place at goal.

Sam: And the Aquilla lineup?

Joey: Erm....well....I've got a roster here, but it's got 18 people on it. I don't know who's playing and who's on the bench.

Sam: Well, kickoff will take place in about five minutes. We'll break for these important messages, and then we'll be ready to start this match between Group 6 rivals Bedistan and Aquilla!

Sam: And the teams are taking their positions...there's the toss...Barber wins it, and Bedistan will begin with possession.

Joey: Wow, something's gone right already!

Sam: And there's the whistle! Barber passes the ball over to Burks...he moves around a bit, sends it back to Johnson...oh no! Successful tackle by the Aquillan forward -- no, wait! Bell steals it back! And...I don't believe it...he's taking a shot from 3/4 of the way down the field -- but that's a powerful kick...the Aquillan goalkeeper slips! That ball is IN! A miraculous goal in the 3rd minute from defender Gary Bell!

Joey: How in the hell did he get that ball past the entire Aquillan team? That is, quite possibly, the most spectacular goal I have ever seen by a Bedistani player. Bell puts us up 1-0 very early on.

[15th minute]

Joey: Whoa! What the hell is he doing?

Sam: John Burks with a very poor tackle there -- that Aquillan player is definitely injured. And I think that might have been intentional...

Joey: There's the ref...and he agrees with you, Sam! That's a red card for Burks and we are down to ten players only fifteen minutes into the game. That cannot be good, Sam...not good at all.

Sam: Coach Parker's 4-4-2 now reduced to a 4-3-2...let's hope nobody else tries anything stupid like that.

Joey: Coach doesn't look happy at all -- I get the feeling he's going to pass along some additional punishment to John Burks there.

Sam: And there's the substitute for the injured Aquillan, so the game is underway once more.

[33rd minute]

Sam: And...uh-oh...the Aquillan defender loses his balance and falls on top of Lewis! That wasn't his fault, so I don't expect a card for that...I hope Johnny's all right, though...

Joey: Yeah, he's fine. No card on that, purely accidental, although Lewis does get a penalty kick...keeper heads left, but the ball goes right! And it's in! 2-0 Bedistan!

Sam: Holy cow. Could we possibly be seeing our first win here, Joey?

[46th minute]

Sam: And there's the halftime whistle.

Joey: So at the half, the Lions are up 2-0 over the Eagles. How do you think it'll turn out?

Sam: Well, we've got the momentum going and I know our boys and girls really want to win this one. But we are down a player, which could possibly cost us. I don't think it's likely that we'll lose, but I'd say a tie is not out of the question yet.

Joey: Well, we will see. And now, some more very important messages for you to watch -- stay tuned.

[OOC: The rest will come later...it's 2am and I must retire for the night...]

Brazillico pulling it out in the end with a 2-1 victory in front of the rambunctuous(sp?) Oglethorpia faithful.

OOC: Did they? I thought Ogle won.

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini heaved a sigh of relief as they managed to edge past La Darien with a 1-0 win. Head Coach Mr Hurr, "I think its about time we got a win, and we got it. It was certainly not a very convincing win, and we're still around the bottom of the table, but I hope this win will bounce us back to our usual winning ways and hopefully qualify for the cup proper."

The impressive Quohog team marched confidently onto the TnUI pitch and showed there class. They were two - nil up by the end of the first half, totally dominating the field. Great skill and class, it was a wonder to watch. The second half saw a fight back from the home team. It was more power and nasty tackling than skill and grace. Leading goal scorer Hill managed tog et the ball in the back of the net in the 64th minute to bring the score back to two - one, but then minutes later got sent off for a late challenge. That infectively sealed the match for Quohog, who just held back and defended.

Final Score
Total n Utter Insanity 1 Quohog 2
Hill 64

[code:1:c665f52633]
Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 7 7 0 0 20 6 +14 21
Futililia 7 3 1 3 15 17 -2 10
Tha Machine 7 2 2 3 12 12 0 8
Communation 7 2 2 3 15 17 -2 8
VA Industrialized 7 2 2 3 13 15 -2 8
Nevershadow 7 2 2 3 12 14 -2 8
Pure Evil (22) 7 2 2 3 12 14 -2 8
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 7 2 1 4 8 12 -4 7 [/code:1:c665f52633]

PE isnt gonna like this, not one bit....

anyway, nice to see my puppet nation put four past the foogballs and getting into third :D

3 points between last and 2nd? check out the randominity in this group, man 8)

HSMG News.....

Tonights top story,
Halfassedstates now has the last three remaining Gilmeecian Prickly Thorntrees in existance after a freak napalming incident wiped out the last remaining grove of the trees in Gilmeecia.
The trees, given as a present to Halfassedstates by Foreign Minister Ned Itchlesby in recognition of the growing bonds between the two FIFA nations, were planted outside Nahnahiruleu Palace, King Jimmy's residence in Whogiveadamn.
Jim-James the country's newly appointed Foreign Minister said, "Its a sad loss, hopefully these trees can be used to start a 're-breeding'(?.) of this fine species"
...............
In Sports tonight...
There was a shock defeat at home for the Halfassedstates football team against Vegemite. The Halfassed team slipped back into their WC5 qualifing style of not performing in the 1st half. Two stunning strikes by the Vegemite #10 on 30 and 38 mins put the visitors in charge, and despite a strong 2nd half showing, Halfassedstates only reply came from Wallace in the 79th minute.
Halfassedstates still head the qualifying group by 3 points though after their two nearest rivals Dead Man and Tintinnabulation both lost.

Recently some commentators have suggested that Halfassedstates should qualify safely from the group, we asked Sir James Munro (team manager)what he thought;
SJ: Well while I am overjoyed to be in the position we currently find ourselves and enjoy hearing comments like that from broadcasters of the renoun Clem and Mel, I still feel that its too early to call the group, recent results have seen the group bunch together again and a run of 3 or 4 victories for any team would see them more or less assured of a qualification spot.

Down to earth as always, that was Sir James earlier to-day.
Now over to Moria for the weather .........

[code]
PE isnt gonna like this, not one bit....

Was thinking that as well :lol:

Anyhow - i'm just off to the air raid shelter for a wee while.
Let me know when PE calms down again :wink:

OOC: Blast not doing well anymore.

It's no because im loosing. I couldn't care less.

My problem is that the results in this world cup are utter crap. No way would a team ranked 47th totally dominate in a group with 2 teams ranked much higher than it.

And how can you have the 2 highest ranked teams at the bottom? It just doesn't make 1 single bit of sence.

News item from the Ellery Camp Pravda

ELLERY CAMP MAGISTRATES EXONERATE ANTARCTICAD

oreadest found to have spiked orange juice

At the Ellery Camp community gathering held under the grand tree PELLOCAR, magistrates oshanep and sgordon concluded their investigation into the drug scandal surrounding star Errinundrian footballers antarcticad and oreadest. Their findings were as follows:

1. antarcticad had tested positive to the psychotropic drug di-enviloid paranoiac acid, better known as depa.

2. Depa is a prohibited substance in the horse racing industry of many NationsStates.

3. Neither the World Cup Committee nor the Errinundrian Football Association prohibits the use of Depa for players.

4. oreadest had purchased depa from the dealer Danang Nosi in the Wetar district of Tanah Burung.

5. The sale and usage of depa is not prohibited within Tanah Burung.

6. The possession and usage of depa is not prohibited within Errinundera.

7. oreadest dissolved a quantity of depa in a glass of orange juice that he knew would be drunk by antarcticad.

8. The quantity of depa used was sufficient to cause grave illness for the recipient.

9. antarcticad suffered a severe reaction to the overdose on the night before the opening match of the World Cup Qualifying series and required intensive medical attention.

10. oreadest was motivated by a) envy towards antarcticad's greater popularity, and b) his own ambition to be the major forward player for his local and national teams.

A joint news conference was held afterwards by the Convenor of the EFA, mountd, and the Protector of Sports, filthyl. The bureaucrats were relieved that the ordeal had finally reached a conclusion. "It's had a terrible impact on the morale of the national side," said filthyl. "The Gorilla Big Foots will be a much more competitive and exciting side with the return of antarcticad to the team," added mountd.

The future of oreadest, in contrast, is not so clear. "He won't ever gain play for an EFA sanctioned team again, at either a club, regional or national level," said mountd. "We have to set an example to other aspiring players." filthyl jumped on the bandwagon: "By all means let people take depa in the privacy of their own branches but, if you are going to represent Errinundera, it's just not on."

Whether any legal sanctions will be taken against oreadest is up to antarcticad. Spokesperson for the players, Ellery Camp mayor washingd, said that the whole affair had been a disaster for the players, their community and their teammates. "antarcticad has indicated to me that he won't pursue the matter further. oreadest, for his part, is, unsurprisingly, mortified. He doesn't want to be seen in Errinundera for the foreseeable future and will seek to play for an overseas team."

And how can you have the 2 highest ranked teams at the bottom? It just doesn't make 1 single bit of sence.

well to be honest it does. Euro 2000 saw Germany and England bottom of their group, when Germany were the seeded team and England the favorites. Germany didnt even win a game.

btw, in the current Euro 2004 qualifiers:

Wales (100th last year, now around 50th) are top of their group ahead of 3 times WC champs Italy. Theres also very passable teams like Poland (36th) and Yugoslavia (nka. Serbia Montenegro, 33rd) who are second from bottom in their group. Its also worth noting that Czech Republic, ranked 11th, did not qualify for the last World Cup

hhoowwweeevvvvvveeerrrrrrr

as much as this does happen in world football (west ham got relegated from the English premiership last season and they had a kickass team) it probably shouldnt happen to this degree. As an apologetic gesture, im sure Lemmitania/Spaam/Kingsford/TnUI would gladly refund any loss of income suffered because of their results :P

Europe is a very hard area to qualify with. The teams are all very hard. The differnce here is that Unranked teams are winning on a regulate basis against ranked teams. I understand that it can happen but no where near this extent. In Europe you don't have very poor teams.

Also with the Belmore family i can't see anyway that they can be winning by this much and Lunatic Goffballs loosing. I know it's an easy group but when ranked 36 lower than the best team(Last for some reason??). For this to happen 1 of 2 things can happen.
1: The person doing results is changed in favor of nations they like
2: A 1 in 54Trillion event has occured.

I know im using Group 4 but it's an example and it counts for the whole qualifier.

PE FOR WC7 HOST

News item from the The McKillops Bridge New Statesman:

http://www.newstatesman.com/graphics/ns/images/head_logo.gif

FOG FARCE

Final score believed to be Errinundera 3 Timway 3

Bitterly cold, dense fog enveloped the Frosty Hollow national football stadium for the WC6 qualifying match between Errinundera and Timway. So impenetrable was the mist that fans did not get to see any of the action and kept themselves warm by endlessly singing their football anthem "We Won't Cry for You, Errinund'ra". Visibility was down to 1 metre so that even the players could not see the ball or each other. Both sides reported minor injuries as unwitting players accidentally collided in the gloom.

By the end of the match there was heated debate as to how many goals had actually been scored. After lengthy consideration the umpires declared that each team had kicked three goals. Both sides accepted this judgement graciously. International umpire from Brazillico, Francisco Pizarro, said that it was strangest game he had ever controlled. "There wasn't much to do. Someone would kick the ball then everyone would spend the next 5 minutes looking for it. I suppose this sort of thing should be expected in a cool temperate rainforest at 1200 metres in the middle of winter."

fastigatae admitted to us that at one point he found the ball and yelled out, "there it is!" Three Timwayans instantly tackled him. "They took the ball from me and apparently kicked a goal straight after. I tell you - I copped it from fionar afterwards." Errinundera's goalie for the match, regnanse, claims he only saw one of the goals the Timwayans scored. "They may have scored three. I've no way of knowing for sure."

For the Errinundrians goals were scored by adealbata (25), handesydek (50) and longipesp (75). If the times seem very regular it's because no-one is precisely sure when they were scored.

Errinundera's Protector of sport, filthyl, was extremely embarrassed by the debacle. "For the next World Cup I think we will use one of the new stadiums under construction. It could be the cliff-top ground at McKillops Bridge which is much sunnier than here. Or maybe the underground stadium at Mt Ellery where the weather won't be a factor."

The other big news is that star striker antarcticad will finally be available for the next match which will be away to Hegemonia Polska. He has refused to speak publicly until an official EFA press conference on the eve of the following home game against Mezitzia. Young striker, firset, who has had been given an unexpected opportunity with the absence of antarcticad and oreadest, is thrilled that antarcticad will be re-joining the side. "It's been my dream for the last four years to play alongside him. I'd rather be a substitute in the same team than a starting line player without him."

Joey: Well, that was an extremely long set of important messages. Seems as though they lasted eight hours, you know?

Sam: I know the feeling, Joey. I think we just couldn't wait to get back to this game, by far the most exciting Bedistani qualifying match of WC6 so far.

Joey: For those of you just joining us, where the hell were you? Our beloved Bedistan Lions have worked up a 2-0 lead over the Aquilla Eagles and we're just about ready to kick off the second half.

Sam: And there they go!

[56th minute]

Sam: Barber sends the ball over to King...now Sierra...and back to King...whoa, the midfielder almost got it, it goes back to Thomas...and he sends it upfield to Lewis -- he takes a shot...and the goalkeeper saves!

Joey: Ehh, Lewis really didn't have much on that--

Sam: Whitehurst grabs the ball, he shoots, and GOAL!

Joey: I don't believe it! Three goals to none! I really don't think the Eagles can come back from that kind of deficit.

Sam: All the same, I'm not making a decision yet.

[73rd minute]

Sam: He gets it past King...Sierra...Johnson...he takes a shot and it's....in! First goal of the day for Aquilla.

Joey: Wait a minute, Sam. The ref's coming out onto the field. It looks like...yep. That Aquillan player was offside, and the goal will not count.

Sam: And so the Lions get a free kick. Barber will take it...and...easy save by the goalkeeper. Well, we narrowly missed allowing a goal there, but it worked out.

[77th minute]

Sam: Sierra with the ball...he can't seem to decide what to do...he takes a shot...just went inside the right post for another goal! 4-0 Bedistan...there is absolutely no way Aquilla can come back now.

Joey: Yeah, they're looking pretty demoralized now.

Sam: And Coach Parker makes a substitution -- he's bringing Whitehurst off the pitch, sending in defender Harold Fermin for his first chance at international play.

Joey: Right, now that we have that huge four-goal lead, Parker's moving into the 5-3-1...remember we're down a player.

Sam: Oddly enough, the fact that we only have ten players hasn't really hurt us. That's very surprising.

[95th minute]

Joey: Looks like our five minutes of injury time is just about up....and there's the whistle!

Sam: We did it! WE WON!

Joey: And just look at the field there...our bench has emptied and all 23 players, including injured goalkeeper Olivia Bream, are having one hell of a celebration!

Sam: We desperately needed a win, and we got a big one here today. Hopefully this will be a sign of things to come.

Joey: Indeed. Also, I now have the results of all the other Group 6 matches, and once we put everything into the standings, it paints a much better picture for us now.

[code:1:db28969f5d]Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 7 6 1 0 14 4 +10 19
Ironchefk (9) 7 4 0 3 15 8 +7 12
Haraki (29) 7 3 3 1 15 8 +7 12
Alhana Catherine (48) 7 1 4 2 13 13 0 7
The Midnight Armies 7 2 1 4 12 20 -8 7
Aquilla 7 2 1 4 7 17 -10 7
Bedistan (27) 7 1 3 3 9 11 -2 6
Christofi (28) 7 1 3 3 10 14 -4 6[/code:1:db28969f5d]

Sam: We're finally off the bottom row, and it looks like we could make fourth place pretty easily.

Joey: Well, fourth place worked for us in WC5, but it won't do the job here.

Sam: No, but I think we still have a chance of making third, or even second if our luck truly has turned completely around. I guess we'll find out. For all the crew here at BSTV, I'm Sam Murphy...

Joey: ...and I'm Joey Stanton...

Sam: ...signing off.

Final score:
Aquilla 0
BEDISTAN 4
Bell (3)
Lewis (33)
Whitehurst (56)
Sierra (77)

im sure Lemmitania/Spaam/Kingsford/TnUI would gladly refund any loss of income suffered because of their results

OOC: I would if it was my formula, but it's not :P

TnUI WC Formula V3.0 for World Cup 7!

After a loss to another unranked team, Mezitzia falls 2-1 to Hegemonia Polska, to date the worst team in the tournament. (no offense meant)

The Mezitzian squad has had trouble scoring goals in important situations, as all three losses have been 2-1 finals. Overall, the squad has no goal differential and is in 4th place. Timway, the nation one point ahead of Mezitzia, has a negative goal differential which Mezitzia hopes to capitalize on in case of a tie.

Final Score

Mezitzia 1
Hegemonia Polska 2

One Red Dot Tops the Table as Dennisov fails

I am Stu Dyogai and this is the One Red Dot Sports Update. The streets of One Red Dot celebrate as the One Red Dot National Team has brought the nation to the top of the table at the qualifiers halfway mark. After two straight wins, One Red Dot leads Group 8 with 13 points and a respectable +4 goal difference.

The previous matches wraps up the first seven matches and the next seven will definitely be very exciting as this will give a chance for losing teams to take revenge or for the top leaders to increase the gap.

In match 6 against Busby, the new contestant gave little resistance as One Red Dot took the lead iin the end with a 3-1 win. Francis DURSELY, Kuragai MATOMO and substitute striker Nagasen HASHIEI score 1 goal each.

In match 7 against 10th seed Dennisov, One Red Dot managed to take the lead at the 75th min when Harry RADFORD broke the 1-1 equalised score.

With me now are two very ecstatic gentlemen, Head Coach and Assistant Coach of the One Red Dot National Team, Mr. Alvin Ker and Mr. David Joel.

(thunderous applause)

SD: Alvin, how do you feel about being at the top now? It must be a great feeling.

AK: Yes, it is. We have much more confidence now than the state we were in a few matches ago when we had a streak of draws. Quite nasty really. But thank goodness - no losses so far. Feels really great to see that the team is performing really well.

SD: And do you think that the team can take the nation one step further in to the round-of-16 if we get into the cup? After all, we have missed it already for 2 seasons.

DJ: I really hope so. That stage is a dream for us and this dream might be realised very soon.

SD: Let's talk about the team now. You must have done something otherwise you would not be doing so well.

AK: We brought in one of our substitutes, HASHIEI, and it seems that the team is performing better with him. We might put him in the starting line-up the next to increase our goals. As for defence, it was not touched. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And the defence stood up against Busby and Dennisov. We did let in 2 goals but at that time, it was quite inevitable.

SD: Match 8, according to my play-off list, is against Getsamtkuntswerk in which you have drawn 1-1 in your first meeting. Do you think that with this new found confidence that you may pull of yet another win?

DJ: I'm not too sure beacuse Getsamtkuntswerk has been doing relatively well and they would definitely fight their hardest. It's the final three that everybody's fighting for.

SD: Thank you very much, both of you.

This has been the One Red Dot Sports Update and this is Stu Dyogai. Good Night.

1: The person doing results is changed in favor of nations they like
2: A 1 in 54Trillion event has occured.
[size=24]]

1: i doubt anyone cares that much about putting you out, and why would they dislike Giant Zuchini? the dudes a legend :p besides, your making accusations at Lemmitania there which is not on.

2: 54Trillon? with the formula we use, its about a 1 in 10 chance. in real life, considering that Slovenia, Slovakia and Yugoslavia, all 'new' nations (last 10/15 years) have managed to qualify for major tournaments, and the Czech Republic had only been around 5 years before getting to the final of the Euro 96, you can say that irl the statistic is about 1 in 32ish.

So it isnt perfect, but NS football is still in its early stages. The first few world cups produced freakish results (USA knocked England out in the fifties if i remember correctly, and Northern Ireland and Wales both managed the quarter finals in the early days) Hell Uruguay and Hungary were once superpowers.

my point: just give it time. in the early days of world football, everyone was more or less even before all the revolutions in formations, training etc. its gonna be the same with NS football, especially whilst we have the brains of TnUI and Bedistan deciding matches :p

OOC: But I'm not, that's the whole point! :P

i know but i just wanna have a dig at you :P

Brazillico pulling it out in the end with a 2-1 victory in front of the rambunctuous(sp?) Oglethorpia faithful.

OOC: Did they? I thought Ogle won.

BRAZILLICAN FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION SCANDAL!

Representatives of the Oglethorpian Football Association reported earlier today that the claimed victory of the Brazillican football team over the national World Cup team of Oglethorpia was a false claim. "I'm not sure if they got a different set of results, or what," stated Ben Wright, President of the association. "I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding," he added.

OOC: I dunno Braz, I got results from TnUI that say the 2 goals was in my favor.

***** ASPN NEWS SPECIAL WORLD CUP 6 REPORT *****

*the new aspn sports theme (if anything, more inappropriate to sports than the old theme) can be heard, just a few decibles too loud. we see, in rapid sequence, four fabulous goals being scored, a magnificent save, and the hooligan cheerleadesr being bombarded with extremely ripe vegetables - all with a transparent WC6 logo superimposed. the scene changes to the new ASPN sports desk - which looks like the old ASPN sports desk with a blue table cloth draped over it*

Today was a disappointing day in the qualifying matches for World Cup 6 for the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans. The Hooligans moved from 1st to 2nd in Group 5 with 16 cumulative points, 2 points behind Tanah Burung, who are in first place with 18 points at the half way point. 7 qualifying matches down and 7 to go.

Today's match was against the side from Whorecore, a newcomer to international football competition. The Whorecore side did not look like newcomers today.

Both sides had a number of good chances in the first half, while both defenses rose to the occassion, managing to keep a clean sheet through the first half.

*we see a whorecore striker taking a well placed shot on goal, which is headed off the line by the snub nose 38 defender. we then see a hooligan striker place a shot past the whorecore defender, which is then tipped up and over the crossbar by the whorecore keeper. we see a whorecore corner kick taken, and sent towards the goal off a diving header, and we see the shot stopped by the hooligan keeper, who catches it virtually with his fingertips. and we see a snub nose 38 free kick rise over the wall, and sink towards the net, and smoothered by the whorecore keeper*

At the half the scoreline stood at WHORECORE 0 - SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 0.

During half time the Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders, recently released from custody, were scheduled to provide entertainment.

*we see the hooligan cheerleaders start running onto the field. they are stopped as they try to exit the tunnel by a line of angry fans, who are seen pitching vegetables, wadded up papercups, some small pieces of furniture, and a cat at the Hooligan Cheerleaders. the Cheerleaders begin chanting, still in the tunnel*

“Snub - HURRAH!!
Nose - HURRAY!!
Hooligans, Hooligans, YAY, YAY, YAY!!
Whore -BOO!!
Core - *raspberry sound*
Kick ‘em when they’re down!!"

*the cheerleaders are prevented from coming on the pitch, and are slowly pushed back and muffled by the crowd. a drum, two racoons, and some VERY ripe fruit is seen airborn and headed for the Hooligan Cheerleaders. the cheerleaders are finally pushed back out of sight, and what we then hear sounds remarkably like sounds associated with a boxing match rather than a football match*

The second half play stayed even until the 66th minute, when Whorecore were given a free kick, which somehow slipped right through the Hooligan wall and into the net before the keeper saw it.

*video tapes show the whorecore player striking the ball, which goes through the snub nose 38 wall and into the net, taking the hooligan keeper by surprise (you expected something else?)*

Whorecore 1 - Snub Nose 38 Hooligans 0, and the Hooligans got hot. For almost the entire remaining 24 minutes the Hooligans maintained control of the ball. But they were unable to score until this shot in the 2nd minute of 3 minutes of added time.

*a snub nose 38 hooligan is seen firing a shot from about 23 yards out that gets past the keeper, and is rising as it hits the near post. it then bounces up, hits the crossbar, and bounces out. a hooligan player sends it back towards the net, but the whorecore keeper, stretched out on the ground from trying to reach the initial shot, boots it away with his left foot. it rises away from the goal, and a third hooligan player chests it back into the net.*

Final score WHORECORE 1 – SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 1

In other Snub Nose 38 sports news, the secretary to the Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages, known only as "Margaret", was fired today for undisclosed reasons.

*we see footage of margaret, in her burgundy robe and midnight blue hooded cape, hand in front of her face, hurrying away from the camera outside the ministry building. she is carrying a small leather pouch with two feathers tied to it, and a six pack of "38 Special"*

***** THIS HAS BEEN AN ASPN SPECIAL WORLD CUP 6 REPORT*****

As the Flying Cassowary approached Tanah Burung, Bi Kikere entered radio contact with Mau Kiri Rai, the people's representative for territorial defence and sports. "How are plans for the welcoming ceremony coming? Plenty of fans?"

The minister replied in a monotone. "No. There are a few, but we have had to pay several hundred drunks to come out and cheer. To tell you the truth, people are not that happy with your latest road trip."

"Nor am I," the coach answered. "A loss to Nova Polonia, and a win of only 1-0 against Benjibouti are not the results I had asked for. Cavaco is still on form with a goal, and the defence kept da Gama from facing any good chances, but the goal scoring is just not happening. Still, we're back on top of the group, doesn't that merit a delirious welcome?"

Mau Kiri Rai hestated before speaking. "To be honest, people are all much more excited about the Errundera drug story. You heard antarcticad was exonerated at last, right?"

"Well, of course he was."

"Yes, so i've got a request. Could you get the team to all dye their hair green for the next match? Call it a sign of solidarity. We shall battle them in camoflage, as we did once during the revolution."

"Um. All right. So, what happened with oreadest?"

"I've already contacted his agent about a contract to play for Lovefest. After all, it was jsut a bit of hijinks, he'll fit right in at a university-based club. Hopefully the red-haired one will be ours."

Lightning flashed near the airship as the two joined in maniacal laughter. "Ours, i tell you....!" (communication fades into silence)

PE:

1: The person doing results is changed in favor of nations they like

I know you can't seriously believe that, so I'm going to ignore it. Let's not drag down the thread with silly accusations.

PE FOR WC7 HOST

If you've been following the thread, you know that in conjunction with Bedistan I'm working on crafting a new and improved formula for possible use in WC7. If you followed the WC6 chat thread, you know I've been calling for a new formula for several weeks.

If you're reading this now, you know that I am not just whining about the results, but am actively working to come up with a better way of determining them. So...

If you want to be a future host, show you have what it takes by joining me and BD in trying to come up with something better. TG me and I'll be happy to send you the spreadsheet with the new formulas. You can help test them by running 1000s of results, which is the really time-consuming part that I haven't had time for yet. Okay?

If you don't choose to do that, I won't mind. But if you choose not to get involved in the solution, but keep complaining, I will mind. What will happen to you if I get annoyed with you? Absolutely nothing. You'll just have to live with the fact that you'll be acting like a bozo.

That is all.

How's it coming along Lemmy?

How's it coming along Lemmy?

Gimme 'til the weekend. But I think we're on the right track. Like I said, I want to run some extensive tests. None of these ten-match runs to see if things look plausible. Now I just have to go and <OOC>program a cash register</OOC>.

Can I rip it to shreds when I see it? :)

I would be disappointed if you didn't. :)

How's it coming along Lemmy?

Gimme 'til the weekend. But I think we're on the right track. Like I said, I want to run some extensive tests. None of these ten-match runs to see if things look plausible. Now I just have to go and <OOC>program a cash register</OOC>.

OOC: If necessary, I could help you out with that -- I just found a free spreadsheet program a couple hours ago that appears to work just like Excel (including being able to open/save .xls files), which will probably make mass-production of results far easier than it was before for me. Also, I have virtually unlimited free time for the next few days -- starting next week, though, I'm headed back to school, so I'll be on quite a lot less starting Monday :(

Can someone give me an update? Where are we in qualification? Who's doing well? Who's dissapointing?

*Reappears*


Aright bitches?

Can someone give me an update? Where are we in qualification?

We're halfway -- 7 games down, 7 to go.

Who's doing well?

Group 1: Quohog (perfect record so far) and TnUI
Group 2: Audioslavia, Great White Sharks, and _AMP
Group 3: Oglethorpia and Dark Outcasts
Group 4: The Belmore Family (perfect record so far)
Group 5: Tanah Burung and Snub Nose 38
Group 6: Runaway Moose, Ironchefk, and Haraki
Group 7: Halfassedstates
Group 8: One Red Dot
Group 9: Akbarland

Who's dissapointing?

Group 1: Errinundera (6th, 7 points)
Group 2: nobody in particular
Group 3: Giant Zucchini (7th, 7 points)
Group 4: Lunatic Goofballs (8th, 7 points) and Pure Evil (7th, 8 points)
Group 5: nobody in particular
Group 6: Bedistan (7th, 6 points) and Christofi (8th, 6 points)
Group 7: nobody in particular
Group 8: Ravenspire (7th, 8 points)
Group 9: nobody in particular

Who's doing well?

Group 1: Quohog (perfect record so far) and TnUI
Group 2: Audioslavia, Great White Sharks, and _AMP
Group 3: Oglethorpia and Dark Outcasts
Group 4: The Belmore Family (perfect record so far)
Group 5: Tanah Burung and Snub Nose 38
Group 6: Runaway Moose, Ironchefk, and Haraki
Group 7: Halfassedstates
Group 8: One Red Dot
Group 9: Akbarland

Wow, One Red Dot, Halfassedstates, Audioslavia, and Dark Outcasts. Just about all the people from my qualifying group last WC.

After the match, an Eagles fan went up to Johnny Lewis and punched him in the nose.

I am making my picks from each group, these are the teams I will root for:

EDIT: adding my reasons:

1: TnUI I want to crush them :lol:
2: Audioslavia They deserve it
3: Oglethorpia Rivalry with TnUI
4: Lunatic Goofballs I beat them before, I can do it again!
5: Snub Nose 38 Hooligan cheerleaders
6: Ironchefk He had a run like me last time too, we are kindred spirits (or something)
7: Tintinnabulation Wierd name
8: One Red Dot He has returned from the abyss to win!
9: Akbarland Cool name, I have always liked the name Akbar


Am I good or what, all my picks but LG are doing well at the halfway point! :)

"Um. All right. So, what happened with oreadest?"

"I've already contacted his agent about a contract to play for Lovefest. After all, it was jsut a bit of hijinks, he'll fit right in at a university-based club. Hopefully the red-haired one will be ours."

The Ellery Camp Football Club is more than happy to clear oreadest to play for Lovefest University Football Club. We believe that, at only 23 years of age and with the skills in his possession, he has a great football career ahead of him. It should also be pointed out that oreadest was a tutor at the Errinundera Football Academy under the leadership of rodm at Ellery Camp. Thus, he also has considerable coaching experience.

There is one thing, however. Should a team from another nation also seek his services, The ECFC shall adopt the following procedure.

Other nation's teams shall bid for oreadest in the Tanah Burung currency. Should a team be successful the money shall be paid to the Developing Nation Aid Commission for use as they see fit.

If no bids are made then oreadest shall be cleared, without fee, to Lovefest University.

If any bids are made then oreadest shall be cleared to the highest bidding team (with the exception listed below) once the money has been forwarded to the Developing Nation Aid Commission.

Mau Kiri Rai, the people of Tanah Burung's representative for territorial defence and sports, shall have the right to overule any bid and permit oreadest to play for Lovefest University without a clearance fee.

Bids can be made until the results are posted for the 10th round of the WC6 qualifiers.

washingd
Spokesperson for oreadest
Mayor of Ellery Camp
Representative for the Ellery Camp Football Club in this matter.

OOC: Sorry to post this here, but every time I've tried to reply on the WC7 thread, it's caused my computer to freeze. No idea why... :shock:

OOC: me too!

:x

I'm having some weird formatting going on. Hope this comes out okay.

Match day 8 results

Group 1
TnUI 2 Liverpool England 0
Timway 1 Mezitzia 0
Quohog 3 LordSquall 0
Errinundera 1 Hegemonia Polska 0

Group 2
Porvoo 0 Iuthia 1
_AMP 2 Starving Children 2
Jay Cutter 2 Cobra Cult 1
Great White Sharks 1 Audioslavia 2

Group 3
Oglethorpia 3 Northern Kings 0
Giant Zucchini 3 BK_Samurai 1
Albion Soviets 2 Dark Outcasts 3
La Darien 2 Eauz 1

Group 4
Communation 1 Pure Evil 3
Tha Machine 2 Nevershadow 4
The Belmore Family 4 Futililia 0
Lunatic Goofballs 4 VA Industrialized 0

Group 5
Nova Polonia 1 Copiosa Scotia 3
Tanah Burung 2 Whorecore 2
Bubbasa the Great 2 Shaw Heath 3
Benjibouti 3 Snub Nose 38 3

Group 6
The Midnight Armies 2 Aquilla 2
Haraki 1 Alhana Catherine 0
Christofi 0 Bedistan 3
Runaway Moose 2 Ironchefk 0

Group 7
Aves 1 Tiburon 2
Halfassedstates 4 Tintinnabulation 2
Malundar 3 Dead Man 1
Vegemite 2 Pavesia 2

Group 8
Dennisov 2 Jurimaxistan 0
Australian Marsupials 0 Ravenspire 1
One Red Dot 2 Gesamkuntswerk 3
Busby 1 Crimson Sparta 0

Group 9
The Lowland Clans 3 Akbarland 3
Lomina 2 Avina 0
Dannland 0 Rave Shentavo 1
Chakra 1 Darkseed 1

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the Oppressed Peoples of Gilmeecia.

President Louis Gilsterson: Thank you. My fellow Gilmeecians, assembled members of the press, I want to speak to you today about a topic that’s near and dear to the hearts of right-thinking people everywhere: the art of getting poked with sharp spikes. By which I mean the national sport of piercing, of course. Also football. I mean, that’s not also the national sport, that’s also what I want to speak to you about today. You follow?

Okay. In re: to piercing: Hooray for the Gilmeecia Pokestabbers! They performed pathetically throughout the round-robin Piercing Tournament, but not quite pathetically enough to miss the Championship match. Today, I am disgusted to say, the Pokestabbers eked out a pathetic draw against those people from the lovely generous nation of Brazillico. That gives us a win, a draw, and a loss. For crying out loud, a draw? A loss? I don’t even want to know what pathetic patheticality is going on with our once-beloved Pokestabbers. “Suck” is not a word I use lightly, and it’s not a word I’ll use for long. I am officially declaring that, if the national team doesn’t win the championship, I’m going to have the whole lot of them executed! I warned ‘em, and I’m not going back on it!

Now... Since the piercing tourney’s been such a disappointment, we won’t dwell on it. Let’s talk instead about football. Go Kickfooters! That’s the official name of the national side. Snazzy, right? We brainstormed for hours to come up with that. We’ve also got the list of players, we’ll be announcing that in a little while. But first, an update on the stadium situation from Lynetta.

Minister of the Interior Lynetta Gilby: Thank you, Mr. President. Okay. Now. We have a very big announcement. So gather around. Parents, go get your children out of bed. Sit them down in a semi-circle around the television. This is very, very important. Wake them from their sleepy dreams and carry them downstairs to the livingroom. Prop them up if need be, and hold their little eyelids open with sticky tape. They must see this. They must hear this announcement. Their future depends on it. Oh! And so does yours. Are you listening? Is everyone? Is there anyone out there not listening? Check and see, is everyone listening? Are they? Are they?

Pres: They’re all listening, Lynetta.

MI: Are they? Are they?

Foreign Minister Ned Itchlesby: For crying out loud, Lynetta, just make your damn announcement!

Pres: Ned! Don’t speak to Lynetta that way.

FM: Sorry, Lou.

Pres: You know she’s not herself since the brain accident.

MI: Are you listening? Everyone is? Okay. Now. Here... it... is: It will be decommissioned after the thingy. Thank you and good night.

Pres: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on back up to the podium, Lynetta... That’s right. Come on, I won’t bite you.

MI: Thank you and good night!

Pres: Don’t you want to explain what will be decommissioned, and what thingy it’ll be decommissioned after?

MI: No.

Pres: Well, that’s your job, you know.

MI: No.

Pres: Come on, why don’t you want to? See all the nice people out there waiting for your nice announcement? They’ve been sitting there, waiting all this time. People went and got the kids out of bed to hear your announcement. That’s how important it is. Now, you don’t want to let them down, do you?

MI: ...no.

Pres: So how ‘bout it? You want to tell them the whole announcement?

MI: No. Thank you and good night!

Pres: All right, somebody-- somebody grab her before she falls off the platform-- okay. Nice catch, Blintz. Blintz Mitersaw, reporter extraordinaire. Can you just lay her down somewhere nobody’s likely to step on her? Until after the press conference is over. Okay, thanks Blitz.

Oookay. Sorry about that, folks. Lynetta hasn’t been right lately. Here’s what she wanted to tell you: the National Stadium is going to be officially decommissioned following the completion of the Kickfooters’ game against Brazillico. So once the game’s over, it ain’t going to be a stadium any more. Just a big old field that somebody went to town on with some napalm. So we’ll be putting that plot of land up for auction. It’s a beauty-- worth six or seven million, I imagine. Probably fertile enough to feed the entire nation, if we farmed it. Also the ideal spot for a commercial district, being as there’s lots of empty space around it to expand into. It would also make a kick-ass casino resort. Just erect a casino resort, and there you’d go. So it’s going to be one versatile, high-priced piece of land once we roll up the carpet and chop up the bleachers.

And decommissioning the old stadium will allow us to dedicate the brand-spanking-new one, which we expect will be completed in about two years. So we’re all very excited about that. I plan on living in my luxury box, once it’s done. And that’s not just because the presidential “palace” is crawling with vermin. All right, Ned has one little announcement to make, and then I’ll announce the football team.

FM: Thanks, Lou. Yeah, I just wanted to tell all you people, especially you ‘environment freaks’ out there who think the environment’s so damn important you have to crap out my voice mail by clogging it up with all your whining about “Gilmeecian Prickly Thorntrees this,” and, “Gilmeecian Prickly Thornmonkeys that” and, uh, anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah: HAH! Turns out the Thorntrees we burned down weren’t the last ones after all! Seems I gave a few of those bastards to Halfassedstates as a gift of state! Or a gag gift. But either way, they have some of ‘em! So stop calling my office! There are plenty of damn Thorntrees to go around! If you want to get impaled on one of ‘em, just go to Halfassedstates. They’ll be happy to let you kill yourself. Okay, that’s all I got.

Pres: Thanks, Ned. So it turns out the Prickly Thorntree issue has a happy ending after all. Arright, time to announce the football team. I have here a list of everybody who’s going to be playing on the team. And I think you’ll all agree they’re the best football players we have in Gilmeecia. And the names are:
Glen Gilsterson
Rix Bodricksy
Laverne Gilcrisp
Joey Gilsterson
Ava Gilsterson
Biff
“Scaley” Oswald Gilsterson
Bud Bodricksy
Nell Gilcrisp
Sondwonna Bodricksy
“Screamin’ Joe” Gilsterson
and the coach, Lew Gilsterson. Unless he gets himself executed for treason before then.

Now, you’ll notice that a lot of the team members are my relatives, and the ones that aren’t are Ned’s relatives. Except Biff. And what that means is, none of them’s going to cross us. These players can be relied on. Oh crap. Except Bud Bodricksy, he died last week. Shoot. How’d we miss that? He’s not reanimated or something, is he? Ned?

FM: Huh?

Pres: I asked you a question. Is Bud Bodricksy reanimated?

FM: What’s this now?

Pres: Bud Bodricksy. Is he back from the dead?

FM:Heeyikes! Where?!

Pres: Nowhere. I’m asking you. Is he?

FM: Oh man, Lou. You just about gave me a heart attack. Thought zombies were overrunning the countryside.

Pres: So he isn’t back from the dead, then?

FM: I hope not, Lou. But maybe we better dig him back up and take a look, just to make sure.

Pres: Yeah, I think that’s a sensible idea. Okay, we better keep the question and answer period brief so I can look into this Bud Bodricksy question. Gillian.

GG: Should the Pokestabbers lose the championship match, on what grounds will you execute them?

Pres: Treason. Losing the championship to foreigners is treason. Glick?

GM: Mr. President, is the government looking into cloning technology?

Pres: What the hell for?

GM: In order to bring back the Prickly Thorntrees.

Pres: Oh. Absolutely, we’re looking into cloning technology. In fact, we got bids from three big firms just this morning. And we’ll probably begin cloning the Thorntrees as early as this never. Next question: Blintz.

BM: What’s this we hear about zombies overrunning the countryside?

Pres: That is a rumor. Just a rumor. There are no zombies overrunning the countryside, people. But just to be on the safe side, lock all your doors and windows, and if any strangers come near your house, shoot them. Right in the base of the cranium is best. Okay, no more questions. Somebody get Ground Forces on the phone, we’re gonna need more napalm.

Current Standings After Matchday Eight

[code:1:0e9511c2e2]Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 8 8 0 0 28 8 +20 24
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 8 5 1 2 19 9 +10 16
Timway 8 3 3 2 15 19 -4 12
Errinundera (17) 8 2 4 2 13 11 +2 10
Mezitzia 8 2 2 4 11 12 -1 8
LordSquall 8 2 2 4 14 25 -11 8
Liverpool England 8 1 3 4 12 15 -3 6
Hegemonia Polska 8 1 1 6 11 24 -13 4

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia (40) 8 6 2 0 25 11 +14 20
_AMP 8 4 2 2 19 16 +3 14
Great White Sharks 8 4 1 3 18 12 +6 13
Cobra Cult 8 4 0 4 19 21 -2 12
Porvoo 8 3 1 4 18 16 +2 10
Jay Cutter 8 2 2 4 12 19 -7 8
Iuthia 8 2 1 5 12 20 -8 7
Starving Children 8 1 3 4 14 22 -8 6

Group 3 P W D L F A GD Pts
Oglethorpia (13) 8 6 2 0 20 9 +11 20
Dark Outcasts (42) 8 5 1 2 20 14 +6 16
La Darien (36) 8 4 1 3 12 11 +1 13
Eauz 8 4 0 4 14 16 -2 12
Giant Zucchini (10) 8 3 1 4 12 12 0 10
Albion Soviets 8 2 2 4 16 19 -3 8
Northern Kings 8 1 4 3 14 17 -3 7
BK_Samurai 8 1 1 6 8 18 -10 4

Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 8 8 0 0 24 6 +18 24
Nevershadow 8 3 2 3 16 16 0 11
Pure Evil (22) 8 3 2 3 15 15 0 11
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 8 3 1 4 12 12 0 10
Futililia 8 3 1 4 15 21 -6 10
Tha Machine 8 2 2 4 14 16 -2 8
Communation 8 2 2 4 16 20 -4 8
VA Industrialized 8 2 2 4 13 19 -6 8

Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung (8) 8 6 1 1 17 8 +9 19
Snub Nose 38 (20) 8 5 2 1 19 8 +11 17
Copiosa Scotia (50) 8 4 1 3 18 16 +2 13
Shaw Heath 8 4 0 4 11 14 -3 12
Bubbasa the Great 8 2 2 4 13 16 -3 8
Whorecore 8 1 4 3 13 17 -4 7
Nova Polonia 8 1 4 3 15 21 -6 7
Benjibouti 8 1 2 5 14 20 -6 5

Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 8 7 1 0 16 4 +12 22
Haraki (29) 8 4 3 1 16 8 +8 15
Ironchefk (9) 8 4 0 4 15 10 +5 12
Bedistan (27) 8 2 3 3 12 11 +1 9
The Midnight Armies 8 2 2 4 14 22 -8 8
Aquilla 8 2 2 4 9 19 -10 8
Alhana Catherine (48) 8 1 4 3 13 14 -1 7
Christofi (28) 8 1 3 4 10 17 -7 6

Group 7 P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates (49) 8 5 2 1 21 11 +10 17
Tiburon 8 4 1 3 11 11 0 13
Vegemite 8 3 3 2 16 13 +3 12
Malundar 8 3 3 2 15 15 0 12
Dead Man (58) 8 3 2 3 15 13 +2 11
Tintinnabulation 8 3 1 4 16 22 -6 10
Pavesia 8 2 3 3 17 17 0 9
Aves 8 1 1 6 9 18 -9 4

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov (14) 8 3 4 1 14 9 +5 13
One Red Dot (30) 8 3 4 1 14 11 +3 13
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 8 3 3 2 15 13 +2 12
Busby 8 3 2 3 12 13 -1 11
Ravenspire (24) 8 3 2 3 10 11 -1 11
Crimson Sparta 8 2 3 3 9 10 -1 9
Australian Marsupials 8 2 2 4 9 11 -2 8
Jurimaxistan 8 2 2 4 12 17 -5 8

Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 8 4 3 1 25 17 +8 15
Rave Shentavo 8 3 3 2 16 15 +1 12
The Lowland Clans 8 3 2 3 19 16 +3 11
Lomina 8 3 2 3 15 14 +1 11
Dannland 8 3 2 3 17 18 -1 11
Avina 8 3 1 4 14 20 -6 10
Chakra (70) 8 2 3 3 15 17 -2 9
Darkseed 8 2 2 4 15 19 -4 8[/code:1:0e9511c2e2]

I've said just about all i can.

If im not mistaked the current formula has 12 attacks and unranked nations are give a rank of 68? How about reducing the number of attacks to 11 and unranked teams being given a ranked of 75? Not much but a possiblity. The formual used in this cup would help heaps(if you know it can you please telegram me)

And yes please send me the spreadsheet. Time and processor power is something i have too much of.

I've said just about all i can.

If im not mistaked the current formula has 12 attacks and unranked nations are give a rank of 68? How about reducing the number of attacks to 11 and unranked teams being given a ranked of 75? Not much but a possiblity. The formual used in this cup would help heaps(if you know it can you please telegram me)

And yes please send me the spreadsheet. Time and processor power is something i have too much of.

You are mistaked. The number of attacks has been reduced to 10, and unranked nations are given a rank of 100. The formula this Cup is D= 900-rank; see the opening post for full explanation.

According to the opening post the number of attacks is 12.

MB: You know, Kath, it feels like it's been weeks since I last sat in this studio. Funny the way your mind plays tricks on you, eh?

KM: I know what you mean, Mike. Why don't we do a quick summary of the changes that have taken place over, oh, the last three games, then?

MB: Excellent idea, Kath. To start with, there was game six, against Gesamtkuntswerk. At the time, the big G was at the top of the charts, while Ravenspire was at the bottom, but the two teams are ranked almost equally worldwide.

KM: Yes, it definitely hasn't been our year.

MB: The change of managers seems to have had a positive effect on the team, though; in a World Cup tradition, they managed to pull out a victory over the higher-ranked team, though it wasn't easy. No goals were scored during the first half, but they came fast and furious in the second half, with two scores per team. Amara Akizuki and Kaede Kitsuki each receive credit for one, at the 51-minute and 78-minute marks.

KM: They're playing well, finally. And I see that the final goal was scored on a penalty kick by... Matt Roker?

MB: Indeed. It was practically a replay of Ravenspire's loss in the Cup against Spaam previously -- an eleventh-hour penalty allowed a kick from Roker, who's always been solid on the penalties, and he came through to break the tie. Final score, 3-2.

KM: Things weren't quite so simple in the seventh game, against Crimson Sparta, Mike. The team notched another draw, 1-1.

MB: A bit of a disappointment there, Kath; the win would have greatly helped Ravenspire's chances. There's surprisingly little to say about the game, though; Crimson Sparta seems to be a solid defensive team, much like Ravenspire, aside from that early fluke, and both teams displayed their defensive talents to great effect. The one interesting note is that both goals came on penalty kicks; Ravenspire's, from Roker again. Crimson Sparta's kick was awarded after a roughing call against Ravenspire midfielder Rahne Spencer.

KM: And finally, there was today's game, the first in the second series of matches. Ravenspire faced Australian Marsupials, against whom they'd previously, and unexpectedly, lost.

MB: Well, today's game went a little differently, with Ravenspire pulling off a 1-0 win to improve their standing to fifth in the group. More on that in a moment.

KM: The big news, however, was the return of striker Zhen Sui-Ling to the field. This game was her first appearance in this Cup, and the fans went wild when they saw her out there. She appeared a bit unsteady, and she definitely doesn't have the stamina she used to, but you can't really fault her play; she held her own. In fact, she was the one who scored Ravenspire's goal, 36 minutes in. We've got a clip of that; it's a beautiful kick, displaying Sui-Ling's trademark grace.

MB: Sui-Ling refused to comment on rumors regarding her possible condition, but it seems the aging star still has what it takes.

KM: I hear she's pledged to go on to the next Cup, too.

MB: That may be so, but it would be quite a feat. She's already one of the oldest players in the competition, and rumor has it she'd planned to retire after this year, and perhaps take up as manager.

KM: We'll have more news on Sui-Ling's plans as the situation develops. But let's get back to the Cup. Mike, what do our chances look like?

MB: I'm going to put the chart up on screen.

[code:1:dc71f6eb77]
Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov (14) 8 3 4 1 14 9 +5 13
One Red Dot (30) 8 3 4 1 14 11 +3 13
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 8 3 3 2 15 13 +2 12
Busby 8 3 2 3 12 13 -1 11
Ravenspire (24) 8 3 2 3 10 11 -1 11
Crimson Sparta 8 2 3 3 9 10 -1 9
Australian Marsupials 8 2 2 4 9 11 -2 8
Jurimaxistan 8 2 2 4 12 17 -5 8
[/code:1:dc71f6eb77]

MB: As you can see, the Ravens' position has improved a good deal. Had we won against Crimson Sparta, we would have been at least third at this point, but as it is, we're standing at fifth, right in the middle of the group. Notice, however, that a single win could put us in first, theoretically. It's unlikely, of course, but since there are six games remaining, that narrow spread should work in our favor.

KM: If the Ravens defeat Busby in their next match, they'll be in good position, then?

MB: I'd say that if Ravenspire wins against at least one of the three other seeded teams, and loses against no more than one, we'll be in. One Red Dot is the weakest link, by the odds, but we've had more success against Gesamtkuntswerk. Holding out against Dennisov may be crucial.

KM: The team will need to pull out some wins against the newcomers, too. They've managed to narrow the goal differential, but they haven't yet had a really stunning victory, and they'll need one.

MB: Perhaps not, but it would certainly help. Without one, they'll probably have to rely on bad luck on another team's part.

KM: That's it for the wrap-up, then. Let's hope we have time for more detailed coverage in the future. Until next week, I'm Kathryn Malley...

MB: And I'm Michael Black...

KM: For RNN.

According to the opening post the number of attacks is 12.

The number of attacks was reduced to 10 after the first match.

According to the opening post the number of attacks is 12.

The number of attacks was reduced to 10 after the first match.

Anyway as this wc is already going. In putting the fight up to the WC7 thread.

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND NEWS UPDATE

TEAM ELIMINATED FROM WORLD CUP 6

With 6 points, the team is second from bottom. They have 6 games to play, meaning they can get a max. 18 points.
Leaders Quohog are on 24 points already, and are likely to win more matches.
Coach Jim Whites was so frustrated at the news conference, he had almost torn all the remainder of his hair out.

"It's devastating, we just hope for Gesamkuntswerk to qualify and continue Heartland participation."

Gesamkuntswerk, seeded 21st, are currently 3rd in Group eight, with a chance of qualifying. Let's put the Group 1 and 8 tables up.

[code:1:bb61b9867a]
Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 8 8 0 0 28 8 +20 24
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 8 5 1 2 19 9 +10 16
Timway 8 3 3 2 15 19 -4 12
Errinundera (17) 8 2 4 2 13 11 +2 10
Mezitzia 8 2 2 4 11 12 -1 8
LordSquall 8 2 2 4 14 25 -11 8
Liverpool England 8 1 3 4 12 15 -3 6
Hegemonia Polska 8 1 1 6 11 24 -13 4

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov (14) 8 3 4 1 14 9 +5 13
One Red Dot (30) 8 3 4 1 14 11 +3 13
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 8 3 3 2 15 13 +2 12
Busby 8 3 2 3 12 13 -1 11
Ravenspire (24) 8 3 2 3 10 11 -1 11
Crimson Sparta 8 2 3 3 9 10 -1 9
Australian Marsupials 8 2 2 4 9 11 -2 8
Jurimaxistan 8 2 2 4 12 17 -5 8
[/code:1:bb61b9867a]

OOC: Finally, I've managed to get onto this thread as the computer was going AWOL everytime I tried to. ohhhhhh! Things are looking good for the DO team. *hands arounds glasses of champagne*

Good Day

Not long ago, our team in the World cup has just recently beat Crimson Sparta 1-0 in which was an important match. We spoke to the captain.

"Well yea i am really proud of the guys winning that match and we hope that we can win a lot more."

I see, what is your overview of the match?

"Well, i believe that we played quite well but not as well as we could. We were lucky when Crimson missed a few narrow misses, but in the end we came on top."

Looking at the table do you think that Busby could go all the way?

"Well it is still very differcult to say, this win is a bright spark in few disapointing games, but there is not much in the leader board just a few points and if we can get a win that will boost the moral of the guys and hopefully be enough to take us the whole way."

What do you think about your next match with Ravenspire?

OOC: I hope it is Ravenspire.

"I believe it will be a differcult match, they are in the same situation that we are. The match will be an important one but in this world cup every match is important."

There is only 2 point goal difference on the table. Do you feel pressured with this?

"No not at all, it just will make the boys try harder and hopefully we can pull through on that day and win."

Thank you for your time.

"Thank you."

Audioslavia continue unbeaten streak

If you count two friendly games against Republic Of Tha Machine last year, this is Audioslavia's 10th game unbeaten. In the current world cup, Audioslavia have won 6 out of the 8 games played, with the last game being the strong 2-1 away win versus Great White.

yeah, its like, cool and stuff

Yes, so anyway, here is our mandatory run-down through the groups:

Group One is like, boring me now.

Quite, 'Quohog' have a 100% record of wins and are leading by 8 points over 'Choking in Gutter: Insanitary'

Thats a pretty weird name for a country dude

Its a pretty weird name for a city dude

fair point

Anyway, i still pick the unsanitaries to go throigh in second, and Errinundera to nip through in third. As for our group, group 2, i suppose with a 6 point lead we'd have to say itd be us. My pick for second would be _AMP or Cobra Cult

why?

Because my dads an electrictian and my mums a snake

dude..

Group 3 is a hard-ass group, but seing as Oglethorpia have had a similar run as us, i'd pick them. Im hoping Dark Outcasts can get through too cos they were unlucky in the last world cup qualifiers

They were in our group, which we were expected to like, stroll away with but like, didnt

I know, Squornshelous nipped through and are now one of the best and exciting teams in the world, One Red Dot and Christofi also qualified at our expense and they are talented teams, One Red Dot are in a qualifying position and Christofi are well ranked despite having a patchy world cup run, we'll come to that later, but theres also the teams that we finished ahead of that time, Halfassedstates and Dark Outcasts, who are ripping through their groups.

are you still trying to legislate for the 'slaves getting butt-raped last time out? let it go man...

But that guy keeps picking on me :(

who?

You know, the one with the crap name, everything he sais is sarcastic and ends with a " :lol: "

ah, i see

So anyway, group 3, i pick Ogle, Outcasts, and Giant Zucchini to beat La Darien to third

third isnt a qualification spot tho is it?

it is if you score enough points, its going to be an exciting last few games to the teams in 2nd to 5th in their groups. Unfortunately, it looks like whoever finishes 3rd in group 4 isnt going to get through, all the teams from 2nd to 8th have struggled against each other, and you could throw a blanket over all of them their so close. Of course this means that because of all the drawign and losing by the better teams, its going to be hard for the team in 3rd to get enough points to go through

i like Pure Evil

hmm, i think i'd pick Lunatic Goofballs to get in ahead of them

no im just saying, i like evil, im like, a santaist

Thats satanist dude, the Santaist is an elite group of mexican reindeerphiles who oppose the use of reindeer for onehorseopensleighdriving

whatever, its nice to see our neighbours doing well

Yes, The Republic Of Tha Machine have mixed it with the 'big boys' as you could say if you were feeling paticularly homo-erotic, but i dont think they'll get through. This group seems deceptively tough. I pick Belmore and Goofballs to get the top two spots. As for group 5, i think that is the most formulaic group of the qualifiers. Former hosts and second-highest ranked team in the qualifiers, Tanah Burung, are first and Snub Nose, veterans and ranked 20th, are second with a confortable 4 point gap over Coposia Scotia who are making good progress. I think these positions will stay the same and Scotia to get enough points to get through.

deep breath.... now do group 6..

Imposible to call. Christofi and Ahana Catherine have been dissapointing, but they arent so far back that a couple of well placed wins couldnt bring them back into the thick of it. Ironchefk are having a tough time in their second world cup, but to their credit theyre making a battle of it. Runaway Moose are, pleasingly to such pun-whores as me, Running away from the pack (of mooses) and are seven points clear so i pick them to run through. I think Haraki are strong enough to make it but to be honest, i think i'd have to pick the neutrals choice: Bedistan and Ironchefk. Both these teams are important in NS football and i'd like them both to make it.

group seven has our m8s in

yes it does, Halfassedstates mixed it with us last time out and the experience has paid off, theyre first and having a solid run. This is another group where i think only the top two will go through, but the only group where i think a newcomer will prevail. I like vegemite...

that was a bit random.... i like cheese but i dont go on about it

*budum chh*

I wana pick Tintinnabulation too, because they have a cool name. Anyway, group 8 is a bitch eh?

'tis, four teams under 30th rank, and Busby kick butt

They are a prospect for the future, i'd like to see them through but i doubt they will, Dennisov, One Red Dot and Gesamtkuntswerk are just too strong, although its so close at the top. Another group where the team in 3rd will struggle to qualify. By the way, i pick this team to be One Red Dot, with Dennisov and Ravenspire going through. Whatever the outcome though, with just 2/3 out of these 5 teams to go through, World Cup 7 is going to be deprived of a strong, important team.

so thats it, all the groups

yes, thats all the groups accounted for..... excuse me..... say what? theres a NINTH group? where? ive not seen any match reports from a group 'nine', oh really? well mr smartypantsguyinmyheadphones, if there is one of these fabled 'groop nines' where is it? did the fairies take it away? all the seeded teams are milling about in these 'real' groups... you see these? REAL groups, why would there be an 8-team league of nobodies tagging onto the end?


who the fuck are these guys

I VAGUELY remember Chakra getting bumraped in the last qualifiers, and theyre doing so here too, but who the fuck are these guys? Dannland? Lomina? hangone where have i heard of "The Lowland Clans" before?

fuck knows. wever only got 5 seconds on air apparently

good, bye bye Audioslavia, this your presenter, Jeremy Jaffacake, telling you to fuc *CCCSHSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh transmission ends*

OOC: I hope your team does well too Audioslavia! Thanks for your vote of confidence *hands Jeremy Jaffacake his own packet of jaffacakes and a bottle of champagne*.........uuummmm....nice jaffacakes!

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND NEWS UPDATE

TEAM ELIMINATED FROM WORLD CUP 6


...after travelling to LE and trashing them. Anyone can still qualify from Group 1, though Quohog look assured of a place in the finals.

[code:1:af4bc4f8f9]
Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 8 8 0 0 28 8 +20 24
Total n Utter Insanity 8 5 1 2 19 9 +10 16
Timway 8 3 3 2 15 19 -4 12
Errinundera 8 2 4 2 13 11 +2 10
Mezitzia 8 2 2 4 11 12 -1 8
LordSquall 8 2 2 4 14 25 -11 8
Liverpool England 8 1 3 4 12 15 -3 6
Hegemonia Polska 8 1 1 6 11 24 -13 4
[/code:1:af4bc4f8f9]

“Soccer Mums” Riot after Australian Marsupials Loss in World Cup
Rusted Dunny (Wombat News)

A gang of “soccer mums” rioted in the normally quiet town of Rusted Dunny after Ravenspire defeated Australian Marsupial One – Nil in the 6th NS World Cup. The highly organised women took to the streets immediately following the loss, beginning their rampage by throwing eggs at Ravenspire-made cars and trucks.

The rampage continued through the early morning hours, as the women overturned flowerbeds and set fire to recycling bins all over town. Things quieted down around 11:00am, and residents began to think that the worst was over. The riots, however, started again in the early afternoon. Said Rusted Dunny police chief Nobby Rains, “It turns out that they stopped (rioting) and went out to lunch together. But after lunch, they seemed more determined than ever to tear this town apart.”

A waiter at the Bush Ranger Café, where several of the “soccer mums” lunched that day, told Wombat News that the women gossiped and drank white wine and sherry while at the restaurant. “I didn’t know anything was going on,” said the waiter. “It was like any other day when they come here for lunch.”

Determined and with a buzz, the women looted several boutiques during the afternoon. Among the stolen items are several couture dresses, antique lamps and small side tables, and several pounds of Columbian coffee beans, both ground and whole.

Many of the women’s husbands left work early to try to calm their wives, but it became apparent that the riots would continue despite their best efforts. One husband, who wished to remain anonymous, said “My wife is used to getting what she wants. And when she doesn’t get it, things get ugly very quickly.”

At around 4.00pm, police rounded the women up at a local car dealership by announcing a false sale on Land Rovers. Once in the showroom, the women were sprayed with what appeared to be tear gas, and were arrested. Rains later told Wombat News that the gas was actually a precise mix of alcohol and the prescription drug Mogadon. “It’s the only thing that calms these ‘soccer mums’ down”, said Rains.

Damages are estimated to be a little over fifty thousand dollars, which will most likely be paid off with credit cards. “The shop employees all know us by our first name,” said one husband, “so I’m sure our credit is fine. And just think of the bonus air miles I’ll get on my card!”

THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS - NEWS FROM THE DEPTHS OF REASON

Dear mumsi,

Everyone is thrilled with the return of antarcticad to the team. What a difference to morale one person can make! And when he walked into the first team meeting since his suspension, guess what? He had a basically normal haircut. Which was a bit awkward because everyone had dyed their hair green, including us among the support staff. We quickly called in a team of hairdressers who put things back the way they were. antaricticad looks so strange without the green dreadlocks: you wouldn't imagine how thick and shaggy is hair actually is.

As usual, antarcticad had us completely fooled. He caused a sensation at the Hegemonia Polska football stadium. His hair lit up. I kid you not. It glowed. It's like those optical fibres where the light shines out the ends. Well, his hair tips glow just like that. The effect is stunning. As he moves light and shade ripple across his head. The opposition players were dumbfounded. We were dumbfounded. The crowd were dumbfounded at first but soon regained their voice. Although naturally partisan they chanted ICE MAN, ICE MAN, ICE MAN whenever an Errinundrian player with the ball was within cooee of antarcticad. Clearly lacking match practice he didn't play all that well but when he kicked the game's only goal in the 59th minute the stadium erupted. There is something about that bloke that appeals to people everywhere.

firset reckons that the hairstyle is mean to represent a halo. "He is the betrayed saint who redeems us with his return," he told us at the team breakfast the morning after the match. firset got pelted with toast. joyhilla laughed and said that antarcticad was no saint. Then she added, "Thankfully." handesydek's theory is that it's a riposte to naughtys's remark in the First Creek Falls Age in the last World Cup that, "Between them they (antarcicad and oreadest) wouldn't decorate a christmas tree."

Dear dip had yet another car accident. This time she hired a sporty 2 door, roofless horror of a thing and went for a spin through what they call a forest. A miserable thing it is. Their excuse for a forest. And the car. And spin is exactly what dip did: right into a tree, breaking her arm. What with you and your fascists, mumsi, and dip and her cars, I don't know how my blood pressure doesn't spell the end of me. Errinundera really shouldn't sell international driving licenses to people leaving the country.

The Poles are very nice people if you have the good fortune to meet any. Just about everyone you see is a New Russian. I hear that the New Russians make up over 70% of the population. It's not that they aren't pleasant people but they have that insufferable, paranoid superiority that colonizers everywhere have. They either want to go back to The New Russia or turn Hegemonia Polska into The Newer New Russia. What we heard in Liverpool England about nation buying is apparently true. The New Russia bought Hegemonia Polska for some astronomical amount.

It's a weird world, mumsi.

Your faithful son.

Princec.

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini seems to have recovered from its slump to land itself a 3-1 win over BK_Samurai. Head Coach Mr Hurr, "This win is very important to us, and hopefully the team can use this win as a springboard to greater heights. We will try hard to get back our qualifying spot."

IC:Hmm... I can't wait until the next match against Pure Evil! OCC:I also urge the hosts not to alter the score in his favour so as to stop the constant complaining-IC:We also wish good luck to PE!

IC:Hmm... I can't wait until the next match against Pure Evil! OCC:I also urge the hosts not to alter the score in his favour so as to stop the constant complaining-IC:We also wish good luck to PE!

IC:Hmm... I can't wait until the next match against Pure Evil! OCC:I also urge the hosts not to alter the score in his favour so as to stop the constant complaining-IC:We also wish good luck to PE!

I have stopped.

The problem I have is that You somehow manage to win 100% of the time when a mation ranked 11th finds it hard to win and you will by a long way not just by a small margin.

ANNOUNCEMENT:

The NSFA committee is desperately trying to find a final club team to enter its first Champions League. More information available here: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=55701&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0&sid=efc37b8aee3b83e2f0d9f22861a6aad5.

(Emergency cleared: 31/7)

Proof!!!!

Lemmitania National Bank Account XXXX-XXX-XXX

Balance 43,576,319 Lemmings

Transfers
From TBF: 500,000,000 Alans
From Quohog: 500,000,000 Sorry too soons

:lol:

Proof!!!!

Lemmitania National Bank Account XXXX-XXX-XXX

Balance 43,576,319 Lemmings

Transfers
From TBF: 500,000,000 Alans
From Quohog: 500,000,000 Sorry too soons

:lol:
Huh? I'm confused!

Proof!!!!

Lemmitania National Bank Account XXXX-XXX-XXX

Balance 43,576,319 Lemmings

Transfers
From TBF: 500,000,000 Alans
From Quohog: 500,000,000 Sorry too soons

:lol:
Huh? I'm confused!
*the Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages, sitting at his desk reading the morning 'Scuttlebutt', suddenly jumps to his feet. Once again he regrets his habit of sudden movements, as he wipes the spilled beer off his desk and his pants*
- Margaret! Look! In the paper! They claim to have proof that some of the World Cup 6 sides are bribing the Random Number Gods!
*no reply*
- Margaret! We have to look into this! Get me the Minister of Super Secret Sleuthery on the phone.
*no reply*
- Margaret? Where the...?
*long pause*
- ...oh...
*picks up phone, dials. waits*
- Beverly? Um...uh...Bev...well...how can I...we...Bev, can we get Margaret back?

Bedistan Well on Road to Recovery

Thousands of drivers braved horrendous Columbia traffic yesterday in order to get to Holmes Stadium, where the Lions were preparing to host a qualifying match against Christofi. Fan excitement was quite a bit higher this time than it had been for the previous home game, with the team now coming off a spectacular 4-0 away win over Aquilla. The team had drawn against Christofi 1-1 in its first outing this year, and the Bedistani people were eager to see what would happen this time.

The two teams started out feeling each other's defense, and the first attack was mounted by the visitors. Goalkeeper Olivia Bream was returning for this game after an arm injury kept her out of the Aquilla match, and she was certainly on top of her game today, easily driving away the Christofi attack. It wasn't long before the Lions had possession and managed their first goal of the match. The stadium absolutely erupted in cheers; quite a change from the last home match, where fans were openly booing the team after a 3-0 loss to Runaway Moose.

Johnny Lewis' first goal had given the team quite a bit of momentum, and he managed another one just before halftime, bringing the score to 2-0. At halftime, Coach Parker opted to take out forward Jeff Whitehurst, putting defender Mike Lee in. This was standard practice for the team, switching to the 5-4-1 when they had a good lead.

The second half was less eventful, with Christofi having possession most of the time. However, in the 70th minute, Lewis successfully snagged the ball from an opposing player and buried it -- the first hat trick in Bedistani national team history. Little happened afterward, but needless to say the fans were overjoyed.

This win brings the Lions all the way up to fourth place in Group 6, now with a fairly decent chance of qualifying. The team is only three points behind 3rd-place Ironchefk with six matches to go.

Final score:
Bedistan 3
Christofi 0

Lewis (22, 40, 70)

*scene – office of ben dover, manager of the snub nose 38 national team, the hooligans. ben’s office complex is located on the second floor of the “38 special” stadium, and overlooks the playing field on one side, and the stadium parking lot on the other. ben is seated at, and drumming his fingers on, his desk. his wife, and defensive coach, eileen dover, is seated on a nearby couch. she seems to be picking lint off her sweater. there is no lint on her sweater.*

- That’s two draws in a row, Eileen.
- I can count.
- Well, then start counting. FOUR goals scored against your defense in two matches. THREE goals scored against your defense today!
- Yes, and you know even if you repeat that another hundred times, IT WON’T CHANGE!
- What the hell happened today? We scored first. Twice. We led at the half 2 – null.
- Ben, there WERE two sides on the field. It’s a game, man. Benjibouti weren’t going to look up at the scoreboard and pack it in just because we had a 2 goal lead.
- So, then, Mrs. Dover, how do you account for Benjibouti scoring two goals in the first three minutes of the second half? Did your defense take a little break?
- Don’t start down that road, Ben. The first one was pure luck. Waffle tripped. Who couldn’t score a goal from 15 yards out with the keeper flat on his back and facing the other way?
- That’s one. And we’ve gone over that spot on the field with a microscope – what in the name of all that’s holy did he trip on? There’s nothing there but grass! Then, two minutes later…
- You can’t deny excellent play when you see it. They…
- Eileen, come on. They executed that short corner, switched fields, crossed the ball and headed it in as if your defenders weren’t even on the field.
- Ya know, that’s about the third time you called ‘em “my” defense. How is it that when we win, it’s your team, but when we draw or lose it’s my defense?

*ben splutters, waves his hand in disgust, and walks over to the window facing the parking lot. neither he nor eileen speak for a time. ben wipes the sweat from his brow, and then opens the window. faintly we hear the sound of a variety of things hitting pavement, cars, and people. a burro flies past the window, panic written all over it’s face. we also hear*

“Snub Nose Hooligans – YAY!!
What have ya got to SAY!!
Benjibouti *raspberry sound*
Benji who ti? *raspberry sound*
Snub Nose, Snub Nose – gurgle, choke, cough…”

*ben slams the window shut*

- Can’t we ditch them somehow?
- The National Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders? People come to matches just to have the chance to throw things at them.
- Damn, they’re annoying!
- So, are we done?
- No, we’re not done. We got the lead back, remember. Spike took that long pass from Nails, shouldered two defenders aside, and literally dribbled the ball into the net. 3 to 2 with less than a minute to go.
- Ben, this is not helping.
- AND THEY SCORED AGAINST YOUR FLIPPIN’ DEFENSE AGAIN!!! Kick-off, dribble dribble, pass, dribble, pass, shoot, score. Hmmm…anything missing there? Like, DEFENSE?
- Ben…
- Eileen, I want you to replace Waffle. Pancake looks good, and Waffle just isn’t cutting it. Next game, I want Pancake to start.
- And, what do you intend to do AFTER breakfast?
- Don’t get wise, Eileen. We’re changing starting keepers for the next match, and that’s that.
- Well, if THAT’s THAT, and THAT’s all you wanted, why did we have to go through all that other?
- So the people reading this could get an idea of how the match went, and the Hooligan Cheerleaders could be displayed.
- Oh.

*enter margaret, apparently back on the job, still in her burgundy robe and midnight blue cape. the tips of two eagle feathers are sticking out of her pocket. she is carrying HALF a six pack of “38 Special”*

- Hey, Dovers! The Minstister of Athletricks, Olymplics, and Alcobevridges sent me over. He said…he said…oh, yeah – he said “Take Waffle out, put Pancake in”
- Done.
- Okey dokey. Well…I gotta go supplicate the sacrificial randomness of numbering…uh, or, uh, something like that.

...... 'Game of the Day' theme....

Hello everyone, glad you could join us for this review of the WC6 qualifiers so far. I'm Gary Lunkier and with me as always is Alun Hansun. Hows it going Alun?

AH: Not bad Gary, not bad.

GL: What do ya think of the qualifiers so far then?

AH: There has been some great football in there so far, its been a feast for football purists, however it hasn't been quite so kind to prediction makers!!

GL: I think we can get a quick recap on your predictions at the start of the cup Alun, any comments?


Group 1 - TnUI with possible surprises being Liverpool England
Group 2 - Audioslavia
Group 3 - Giant Zucchini tho Oglethorpia should run them close
Group 4 - Lunatic Goofballs, tho my team to watch would be The Machine
Group 5 - Tanah Burung will walk this one
Group 6 - Christofi just edging it from Runaway Moose
Group 7 - I have to say ourselves
Group 8 - Dennisov will hold off One Red Dot for the group win
Group 9 - The Lowland Clans
AH: Well if we look at who is likly to qualify, TnUI are sitting well in 2nd, tho I was disappointed by Liverpool Englands performance.

GL: Not as much as they are - they've already ruled themselves out of the race!

AH: It does seem unlikly they will make it now as everyone is chasing Quohog! Though with these allegations of bribery, there may still be a chance of Quohog and The Belmore Family being investigated and possibly being thrown out!!!!

GL: I don't think thats really likly tho!

AH: Maybe, we'll have to see won't we :wink:

GL: You know something Alun?

AH: No no, anyway group 2 is as predicted with Audioslavia walking it at the moment.

GL: Yeah, but the bribery th......

AH: Group 3, now i'll hold my hands up here - not as i thought it might go, Giant Zucchini are struggling 6 points back on 2nd place Dark Outcasts, who haven't really improved the defence much, but just decided to score even more than when we met them back in WC5. Oglethorpia are going well as I suspected, and lead the group by 4 .

GL: But,......

AH: Which brings me on nicely to Group 4. Well I think its probably best that I don't say much here, the Goofballs have had a bad start and are probably just fighting it out for 2nd place now as the Belmore Family have almost managed to wrap the group up already. It's astonishing

GL: Some folk think its more than just astonishing Alun

AH: So it seems Gary, but anyway Group 5, is going as every thought it would Tanah Burung, after hosting the last WC are determined not to miss out on this one and sit atop the group, just clear of Snub nose 38.

GL: Yes, its closer than youo thought it would be tho, and the Snub Nose folk are even trying to calm their cheerleaders down a bit - amazing what happens isn't it!

AH:*mumbles* should still be banned or something bl00dy idiots

GL:Sorry, what was that?

AH: just thinking about that new band 'the Muddy Credits' that are touring Halfassed at the minute - their in Whogivesa tonight

GL: ok then - whatever. How about group 6

AH: Well I expected a lot more from Christofi, after all they qualified from our group last time, but they're failing badly here. Granted its a tough group but still! Nice to see Runaway Moose doing so well

GL: oh oh - you could say Runaway Moose are running away with it!!!

AH: Seriously is that meant to bve smart or something - even the Green Giant couldn't cope with that much corn. Get a new script writer please!!!

GL: *looking v.upset* i thought of that myself :cry:

AH: No ya didn't you've just heard someone else say it haven't you.

GL: *openly crying now* y.y.y.y.e.s

AH: Right - thought so - get yourself sorted and i'll finish this
Group 8 is going as i said, with Dennisov just holding off One Red Dot, while group 9 has Akbarland leading at the moment, but no-one is out of it.
For those of you who have missed them, the rest of the programme is going to show highlights of the Halfassedstates goals so far, along with the best of the rest (that we've been able to blag from the local broadcasters)
So for me and on behalf of Gary, good night and enjoy your sport!
................. Fill for about 5 mins of clips of goals so far........

DAILY CROCODILE

Defensive lapses cost Tanah Burung a chance to move well clear atop Group 5 as they gave up two goals to draw against the visiting Whorecore Megadeths. Coach Bi Kikere had been confident in her team's defensive skills, rated as among the best in the qualifiers, and opted for a more offensive 3-3-4 formation in a bid to spark some scoring.

That garnered two goals, but left the defence kneecapped. Whorecore proved themselves to be no pushovers, taking full advantage to pour on the pressure. A red card to defender Sylvia Tiro for a nasty foul left the defence ever weaker.

"It seemed like their hearts weren't in it," said one spectator. "They were more concerned with their sport new green haridos." The temporary hair dye is expected to be gone by the next match.

The team plans to pull out all the stops for their big clash against Snub Nose 38 at the National Stadium. The Hooligan Cheerleaders have been informed they will be confined to a roped-off section along the sidelines to avoid altercations with any Crocodiles players or fans. Special rules have been institued that no food item may be brought into the stadium. "We will not stand for any attempt to pelt the Hooligans with rotten vegetables," said Mau Kiri Rai, the mniister for sports and territorial defence. "I really mean it this time. We're prepared to arrest troublemakers. Don't tempt me."

Attendance was spotty as many stayed home to watch Tanah Burung's third straight win at the world championships of competitive piercing, where Tanah Burung has reached the final against hosts Gilmeecia. Body art salons across the country are reporting booming business. Many Crocodiles players plan to sport new piercings for the Snub Nose 38 game.

Predictions for that game? It should be a close one. "We will eviscerate them, their snub noses will be well bloodied," said Bi Kikere, promising to play her full starting line-up. The coach added that her own new piercing will be a 20-gauge pin through the left nostril.

***** ASPN NEWS SPECIAL WORLD CUP 6 REPORT *****

*your tv goes blank. the aspn sports theme begins, and the aspn studios come up on screen.*

Ladies, Gentlemen, Aliens, Sentient Vegetation, AIs, Others: We interupt your program to provide you the latest in World Cup 6 Qualifying news.

ASPN Sports has learned that the Hooligan Cheerleaders are being "bussed" to Tanah Burung for the much anticipated re-match in several Paddy Wagons, which departed for the stadium by secret route earlier this morning. ASPN News has also learned that, besides being restricted to a roped-off portion of the stadium by Tanah Burung officials, the Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders will be manacled for the duration of the match, and shipped immediately back into the custody of the Sheriff of Snub Nose 38's Remington County.

ASPN Sports reporter Liam N. Leavem got the following quote from Hooligans Manager Ben Dover upon informing Mr. Dover that Bi Kikere, the Crocodiles Manager, intends to sport a new 20 gauge nose piercing for the match.

- What's one more hole in the head?

Eileen Dover, coach of the much maligned Hooligan defense, had this to say as the team was boarding the "38 Special" coach (OTHER kind of coach, folks).

- They'll eviscerate us, eh? Well, as surprised as I am that Bi knows what that means, we will have a little to say about that on the pitch.

Pancake, the keeper who will be moved up to the starting 11 for this match, had this to say about the Tanah Burung Crocodiles.

- tanahburungcrocodiles exist, and do not exist

Bus loads of fans, plane loads of fans, boat loads of fans, ladden camels, and a large balloon shaped like a Snub Nose 38 have been departing Snub Nose 38 for the last two days in droves, headed for Tanah Burung and the big match.

ASPN Sports, by special permission of the Tanah Burung bureau of Special Permissions, will be covering the match. See you there.

*****THIS HAS BEEN AN ASPN SPORTS SPECIAL WORLD CUP 6 REPORT*****

*your tv screen goes black, and then your original program fades back in*

"Eviscerate, that's right," said Bi Kikere. "I'll bet the upper third of my large intestine on it."

"Eviscerate, that's right," said Bi Kikere. "I'll bet the upper third of my large intestine on it."

That reminds me...I seem to recall having bet my appendix on the result of a previous match against Aquilla...when do I get my return on that? :P

Gilmeecian Surgeon Arrested for Chasing People Down on the Street, Hacking Their Appendices Out

Dateline: Gilmeecia

A masked bandit was nabbed by brave Gilmeecian SWAT cops today in a daring broad-daylight raid on the home of the so-called "Appendixburglar." More than 7,000 appendices were found in the sick, sick bastard's home. Stored in jars and cans of formaldehyde; jars of water; jars without water; vegetable tins; vegetable tins which had not been rinsed before being filled with appendices; plastic baggies; or simply left laying around the flat, most of the organs had deteriorated to the point of uselessness. As he was dragged away by enthusiastic SWAT cops, the sick little man was heard to mumble "Appendixburglar! Appendixburglar!" over and over. Parents are warned not to ever let their children out of the house again.

Ever.

Gesamtkuntswerk Tops Dot
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After an amazingly slow start, the Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms have started to pick up steam, securing a win against 2nd place ORD. The 3-2 victory did not move Gesamtkuntswerk in the group rankings, but the dual losses of ORD and Dennisov puts the first place position well within reach. If the Sturms are to continue to the next level of the World Cup (supported by fellow Heartlanders, as Liverpool England is almost certain to fall behind), they must turn some of those past ties into present victories. Coach Himmel has already instated new tactics to avoid making the same mistakes to the same team. With only several more rounds to go, Gesamtkuntswerk is still within the danger zone of being forced out of the competition, but Sturm supporters are saying that they haven't failed to qualify yet, and they won't now.

You want your matchday nine results? We got your matchday nine results right here.

Come and get 'em.

Group 1
TnUI 2 LordSquall 1
Liverpool England 1 Quohog 4
Timway 7 Hegemonia Polska 1
Mezitzia 1 Errinundera 3

Group 2
Porvoo 4 Cobra Cult 1
Iuthia 2 Jay Cutter 4
_AMP 1 Audioslavia 1
Starving Children 3 Great White Sharks 3

Group 3
Oglethorpia 3 Dark Outcasts 1
Northern Kings 3 Albion Soviets 1
Giant Zucchini 3 Eauz 1
BK_Samurai 1 La Darien 1

Group 4
Communation 2 Futililia 3
Pure Evil 2 The Belmore Family 3
Tha Machine 2 VA Industrialized 2
Nevershadow 1 Lunatic Goofballs 4

Group 5
Nova Polonia 2 Shaw Heath 2
Copiosa Scotia 3 Bubbasa the Great 0
Tanah Burung 2 Snub Nose 38 1
Whorecore 1 Benjibouti 4

Group 6
The Midnight Armies 1 Bedistan 3
Aquilla 1 Christofi 1
Haraki 2 Ironchefk 3
Alhana Catherine 1 Runaway Moose 1

Group 7
Aves 2 Dead Man 1
Tiburon 0 Malundar 3
Halfassedstates 0 Pavesia 0
Tintinnabulation 2 Vegemite 1

Group 8
Dennisov 1 Gesamkuntswerk 1
Jurimaxistan 0 One Red Dot 5
Australian Marsupials 2 Crimson Sparta 3
Ravenspire 3 Busby 1

Group 9
The Lowland Clans 4 Rave Shentavo 3
Akbarland 1 Dannland 1
Lomina 0 Darkseed 3
Avina 2 Chakra 2

TIMWAY CRUISES 7-1

Timway continued its splendid play in group one by notching its second consecutive victory, this time by a 7-1 margin over group bottom feeders Hegemonia Polska. Coach Alphonse Netko had this to say: "Today was a good momentum builder for us. We need to win our next two games before heading against Quohog and TnUI, the only teams ahead of us in our gruop." GK and team captain Anton Carlsson continued his spectacular play, as he has only allowed one goal in the teams last two games. Timway's offense also found its rythem, with striker Bobby Fleist notching a hat trick in the game's first half before being lifted for a substitue at half.

Timway 7-1 Hegemonia Polska
(Fleist 5, 21, 44, Mortensen 16, Masters 40, Carter 61, Romanov 77)

Current Standings After Matchday Nine

[code:1:4dc2636caa]Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog (25) 9 9 0 0 32 9 +23 27
Total n Utter Insanity (7) 9 6 1 2 21 10 +11 19
Timway 9 4 3 2 22 20 +2 15
Errinundera (17) 9 3 4 2 16 12 +4 13
Mezitzia 9 2 2 5 12 15 -3 8
LordSquall 9 2 2 5 15 27 -12 8
Liverpool England 9 1 3 5 13 19 -6 6
Hegemonia Polska 9 1 1 7 12 31 -19 4

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia (40) 9 6 3 0 26 12 +14 21
_AMP 9 4 3 2 20 17 +3 15
Great White Sharks 9 4 2 3 21 15 +6 14
Porvoo 9 4 1 4 22 17 +5 13
Cobra Cult 9 4 0 5 20 25 -5 12
Jay Cutter 9 3 2 4 16 21 -5 11
Starving Children 9 1 4 4 17 25 -8 7
Iuthia 9 2 1 6 14 24 -10 7

Group 3 P W D L F A GD Pts
Oglethorpia (13) 9 7 2 0 23 10 +13 23
Dark Outcasts (42) 9 5 1 3 21 17 +4 16
La Darien (36) 9 4 2 3 13 12 +1 14
Giant Zucchini (10) 9 4 1 4 15 13 +2 13
Eauz 9 4 0 5 15 19 -4 12
Northern Kings 9 2 4 3 17 18 -1 10
Albion Soviets 9 2 2 5 17 22 -5 8
BK_Samurai 9 1 2 6 9 19 -10 5

Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 9 9 0 0 27 8 +19 27
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 9 4 1 4 16 13 +3 13
Futililia 9 4 1 4 18 23 -5 13
Pure Evil (22) 9 3 2 4 17 18 -1 11
Nevershadow 9 3 2 4 17 20 -3 11
Tha Machine 9 2 3 4 16 18 -2 9
VA Industrialized 9 2 3 4 15 21 -6 9
Communation 9 2 2 5 18 23 -5 8

Group 5 P W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung (8) 9 7 1 1 19 9 +10 22
Snub Nose 38 (20) 9 5 2 2 20 10 +10 17
Copiosa Scotia (50) 9 5 1 3 21 16 +5 16
Shaw Heath 9 4 1 4 13 16 -3 13
Benjibouti 9 2 2 5 18 21 -3 8
Nova Polonia 9 1 5 3 17 23 -6 8
Bubbasa the Great 9 2 2 5 13 19 -6 8
Whorecore 9 1 4 4 14 21 -7 7

Group 6 P W D L F A GD Pts
Runaway Moose (12) 9 7 2 0 17 5 +12 23
Haraki (29) 9 4 3 2 18 11 +7 15
Ironchefk (9) 9 5 0 4 18 12 +6 15
Bedistan (27) 9 3 3 3 15 12 +3 12
Aquilla 9 2 3 4 10 20 -10 9
Alhana Catherine (48) 9 1 5 3 14 15 -1 8
The Midnight Armies 9 2 2 5 15 25 -10 8
Christofi (28) 9 1 4 4 11 18 -7 7

Group 7 P W D L F A GD Pts
Halfassedstates (49) 9 5 3 1 21 11 +10 18
Malundar 9 4 3 2 18 15 +3 15
Tiburon 9 4 1 4 11 14 -3 13
Tintinnabulation 9 4 1 4 18 23 -5 13
Vegemite 9 3 3 3 17 15 +2 12
Dead Man (58) 9 3 2 4 16 15 +1 11
Pavesia 9 2 4 3 17 17 0 10
Aves 9 2 1 6 11 19 -8 7

Group 8 P W D L F A GD Pts
One Red Dot (30) 9 4 4 1 19 11 +8 16
Dennisov (14) 9 3 5 1 15 10 +5 14
Ravenspire (24) 9 4 2 3 13 12 +1 14
Gesamtkuntswerk (21) 9 3 4 2 16 14 +2 13
Crimson Sparta 9 3 3 3 12 12 0 12
Busby 9 3 2 4 13 16 -3 11
Australian Marsupials 9 2 2 5 11 14 -3 8
Jurimaxistan 9 2 2 5 12 22 -10 8

Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Akbarland 9 4 4 1 26 18 +8 16
The Lowland Clans 9 4 2 3 23 19 +4 14
Rave Shentavo 9 3 3 3 19 19 0 12
Dannland 9 3 3 3 18 19 -1 12
Darkseed 9 3 2 4 18 19 -1 11
Lomina 9 3 2 4 15 17 -2 11
Avina 9 3 2 4 16 22 -6 11
Chakra (70) 9 2 4 3 17 19 -2 10[/code:1:4dc2636caa]

The following teams have now qualified:
The Belmore Family (47)

KM: ...so, yes, it turns out that our win started a riot in Australian Marsupials. I caught a news broadcast earlier. They said the soccer moms were throwing eggs at Ravenspire-made cars and trucks.

MB: Unbelievable!

KM: I know.

MB: We produce cars and trucks? Since when?

KM: Apparently, we do. I was as surprised as you are. I suppose there's always some entrepreneur looking for a new market. Anyway, back to the Cup for a minute.

MB: Right, right. More good news for the fans today. As you may recall, in their last meeting, Busby thrashed Ravenspire 4-0.

KM: I've been trying to forget, Mike, but I can't manage to.

MB: Well, today's rematch might ease your mind, then. The Ravens defeated Busby in a solid 3-1 game, leaping ahead to third in their group, still less than one win behind the top team.

KM: Yes, it's anyone's game again. And as we head into the final stretch, you can bet there's going to be some fierce jockeying for position among the top teams. Will Ravenspire's momentum, having ascended all the way from last place, help?

MB: It might help with morale, yes. The team will certainly need any advantage it can get. We want to end in at least second, if possible, to ensure ourselves a place in the Cup.

KM: Zhen Sui-Ling's return seems to have energized the whole team, Mike. She scored the first goal of the game, only 13 minutes in, and though she sat out the second half, Amara Akizuki and Kaede Kitsuki each scored then, at 50 and 73 minutes.

MB: Busby's goal came just before halftime. A beautiful shot it was, too, right into the upper corner, but thanks to Amara charging straight back in the second half, it wasn't enough to turn the tide.

KM: Things may get tricky for Ravenspire in the immediate future, football fans, so make sure to tune in next week for our coverage of the game. Tomorrow night, we'll be covering the NSLB's latest baseball games. Plus, the surprise winner of the International Tiddlywinks Championship stops by for an interview. Only on RNN!

Kathryn Malley and Michael Black, reporting for RNN

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini seems back in the running after their disastrous start to their World Cup campaign with a 3-1 win over Eauz. This puts them back in contention in 4th place. Head Coach Mr Hurr, "The team is back on track. We are under no illusions, though. We are trying very hard to keep on winning until the end. We have been given this chance to qualify and we will not let it slip away."

After crushing LordSquall 7-2 earlier in the year, playing them at home should have been a formality, and it was. Two early goals settled the match. Late into injury time LordSquall managed a consolation, but it wasn't enough. It ended Total n Utter Insanity 2 LordSquall 1 (Canny 14, Woor 23)

[code:1:3086f1e7db]
Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 9 9 0 0 32 9 +23 27
Total n Utter Insanity 9 6 1 2 21 10 +11 19
Timway 9 4 3 2 22 20 +2 15
Errinundera 9 3 4 2 16 12 +4 13
Mezitzia 9 2 2 5 12 15 -3 8
LordSquall 9 2 2 5 15 27 -12 8
Liverpool England 9 1 3 5 13 19 -6 6
Hegemonia Polska 9 1 1 7 12 31 -19 4
[/code:1:3086f1e7db]

Timway keep up the pressure in third and Errinundera have an outside chance for automatic qualification.

Group 4
Pure Evil 2 The Belmore Family 3

Pure Evils not going to like this, not one bit! Eeek

Group 4
Pure Evil 2 The Belmore Family 3

Pure Evils not going to like this, not one bit! Eeek

GRRR. LAunch the nukes.

No but really. I had this great RP ready but the "INVALID SESSION" eat it up.

OCC:This is on the assumption that 3 teams go through from each group-
TBF qualifies
After their two one victory against Pure Evil The Belmore Family are 16 points ahead of the 4th placed team! With a maximum of 15 points being scored in the next matches we are definatly through!
I will be away from the 9th-19th, is there any chance of the results being e0mailed to me after the 9th?

Group 4
Pure Evil 2 The Belmore Family 3

Pure Evils not going to like this, not one bit! Eeek

GRRR. LAunch the nukes.

No but really. I had this great RP ready but the "INVALID SESSION" eat it up.
Why didn't you just go back and copy thext and try the reply again?

Why didn't you just go back and copy thext and try the reply again?

It ate it.

After crushing LordSquall 7-2 earlier in the year, playing them at home should have been a formality, and it was. Two early goals settled the match. Late into injury time LordSquall managed a consolation, but it wasn't enough. It ended Total n Utter Insanity 2 LordSquall 1 (Canny 14, Woor 23)

At least we made three points ! that's not an entire defeat :o :)



Saman' Thä Gelëan
President and General
of LordSquallFreeRepublic
approved by the department of
LSFR territorial and space defense

http://www.abc.net.au/rn/talks/img/pagehead/lnlhead1.gifhttp://www.abc.net.au/rn/talks/img/pagehead/lnlhead2.gif

adamsp: Ah.. the jaunty bittersweet music of Elena Kats-Chernin welcomes you to another edition of a little radio program called Late Night Live here on Radio Errinundera, Radio National and the wubbleyu wubbleyu wubbleyu.

First up we cross to Washington where one of the many famous Schapiros will tell us about the latest public execution scandals gripping the US. Then, if we can track him down, we will talk to Robert Fisk in Iraq who has got plenty to say about the attacks on the occupying military in that country. Then to wrap up the program we will be talking to a footballer. Yes you heard me correctly. A footballer. Here at LNL we have said many a disparaging thing about this intellectually challenged group of people so perhaps tonight we will prove one way or the other whether footballers have the ability to think intelligently.

(35 minutes of talking heads and 2 very short snatches of music pass by.)

As I mentioned at the start of the program I am about to interview a footballer. Those of you who have been listening to me over the years and who read my weekly column know that I don't have a very high opinion of people who publicly try to force solid objects into heavily guarded repositories. In fact, this interview was not my idea at all. My producer told me that either I do it or my contract wouldn't be renewed next year. (Laughter can be heard in the background.)

I didn't know I had a contract. (More laughter.) What will they think of next? (More laughter.)

Well, at least my guest has a sense of humour. I'm speaking with antarcticad from the Errinundrian national team. Now, my producer tells me you're what they call a striker. Is that because you refuse to play?

antarcticad: For the last few weeks I would have been grateful for that opportunity. Unfortunately, I was forced from the team due to some regrettable circumstances. No, a striker is one of the players who try to score goals.

adamsp: Apparently one of your teammates poisoned you with a psycotropic drug?

antarcticad: Well, that's what the enquiry in Ellery Camp found.

adamsp: You have no hard feelings towards the other fellow?

antarcticad: Not really. I don't think he expected things would turn out the way they did. And, in the long run he will be worse off than me. Which is odd because, of the two of us, he was the thoughtful, far-sighted one. I'm not sure why he did it... well, the magistrates were probably right about his motives... but... I don't know... it was a crazy thing to do.

adamsp: How do you mean worse off?

antarcticad: Well, I'm back in the national side. My reputation is restored. On the other hand, no-one in Errinundera wants to know him. Our club, Ellery Camp, has put him on the international market and can't get a bidder.

adamsp: Lovefest University in Tanah Burung want him.

antarcticad: Isn't that marvellous? That will be a fantastic outcome for him. The Tanahs really love him. He's only 23 so he will fit in really well there. Rita, the partner of another member of our team, firset, graduated from the Lovefest University. In fact, according to firset, she's now a first-rate tutor and gives him lots of free lessons...

adamsp: At this point I might just remind the listener that this is adamsp bringing you Late Night Live on Radio Errinundera, Radio National and the world wide web. I reckon it's right to say that you've got a bigger reputation for your hairdos that for your ability on the football field.

antarcticad (laughing again): In fairness that's probably right. In WC5 though, you must remember I was only nineteen. I'm still only 23 and learning all the time. filthyl and fionar have been fantastic coaches so I can get much better. But you have to always try not to forget that football is only a game and if you're not enjoying it then I think you should give it away. The hairstyles? They're part of the fun. I like to surprise people. See that look of wonder on their faces. One of the newspapers think we look stupid. When you think about it, the green or red or glowing hair probably is stupid but, hey, it makes me happy and it makes a lot of other people happy so why not? It's also about crossing a line. Would you do it?

adamsp: Probably not. So what makes you do it?

antarcticad: Either the money or the glory. No, probably both. Seriously though, crossing the line is important to me. I remember once hearing Eric Clapton talking about Jimi Hendrix. Clapton said that a genius was a person who dared to go to that place that other people were afraid to. Ever since I was young it's been apparent that I'm blessed with extraordinary football talent. That's not boasting: I've been very fortunate. To deny I've got football ability would be to delude myself. Everyone needs to be self-aware. But to be truly great I've got to delve deeper than other people. Time will tell. I've got maybe only two and a half world cups to find out.

Well we've run out of time. That wraps it up for another evening. On our next we will be travelling to some very odd places indeed: Mezitzia, where a dictator treats his citizens as playthings - literally; Quohog, where the shopping centres are so large that people get lost for days; and Hegemonia Polska, where the whole country was treated as a tasty piece of real estate and sold to The New Russia.

(The sad, ironic sounds of Elena Kats-Chernin leads into the time pips for 11pm and the hourly news bulletin.)

After crushing LordSquall 7-2 earlier in the year, playing them at home should have been a formality, and it was. Two early goals settled the match. Late into injury time LordSquall managed a consolation, but it wasn't enough. It ended Total n Utter Insanity 2 LordSquall 1 (Canny 14, Woor 23)

At least we made three points ! that's not an entire defeat :o :)



Saman' Thä Gelëan
President and General
of LordSquallFreeRepublic
approved by the department of
LSFR territorial and space defense

7-2 and 2-1 isn't an entire defeat? :lol:

sorry to bug you all, but does anyone know the webaddress to Military and Munitions????( MAMCO)

sorry to bug you all, but does anyone know the webaddress to Military and Munitions????( MAMCO)

This help? (http://www.hostultra.com/~spaar/NS/index.html)

no

Why not?

i mean like/ http/www. and so forth

ok???

So you can't click on the link and look at it?

Do I have to write it like this?

http://www.hostultra.com/~spaar/NS/index.html

yeah,like that, but for military and munitions`

You are one strange spammer

why am i a strange spammer???