NationStates Jolt Archive

"Ah.

I haven't been to a party before, but I don't think a party should have 2 people...can you invinte your friends to come here to, have the 'party' and get some more dialouge on the New UN?

Kaigan smiles broadly, speaks quietly with the barman who then rings a bell loudly and calls out loudly "party over here"

"they'll know its a party now" he says

"what would your view of a future UN be?" he asks full of curisoity

"Don't know, don't know...maybe peace? You know, bring peace to the world instead of having to debate these silly propsals. Outside these very walls, Honiralpa has been divided based on ideologies, chaos and petty militas are attacking military forts in Darvainia, enviromental protests have been brutally suppressed by Gallong...even my nation, SLI Sector, is involved with an arms race against Alpha Complex.

Instead of debating on the shoe size of the UN, why not we do something? We must bring peace to the world, bring some sort of unity. I don't want to see a person die, or be killed. If all would be unified, then the world would be a better place...that is what I think the new UN should do.

What about you?"

Kaigan drinks more tea and replies "my governments view is one where we can contribute to a better world while keeping our sovereignty.

I've heard these arguments before. Our first Shogun, Katsushiro sama used them to unite our country. before him there was several kingdoms under the spiritual guidance of the Emperor and he was the one warlord still standing after a brief civil war.

when the western world finally broke into our nation we knew we had to modernise and we've done that gradually but we will always remember where we came from. We still are honourable warriors and using a gun instead of a sword won't change that.

If this new UN can keep clear of the 'one world goverment' trap we could live with it. The UN should be there to guide not to tell countries what to do at a micro management level"

"I agree." Vicki-Y drinks some more water. "A One-World Government would be bad. It would be counterproductive for everyone involved.

I do, however, think that we should unify together on basic points, like, no terrorism, or limiting wars so civilians can't die. There are far too many conflicts occuring all over the world, and it just doesn't seem right that we do nothing. Innocents are dying in these wars and these wars will never, never end.

Oh wait, my PDC is ringing..."

Vicki-Y pulls out a small, RED item...it looks like a PDA, only more advanced. Vicki-Y presses some buttons...

"Ah, another news bulliten. Seems like 'Wilk' has started a terror campagin on The Republic of Zodno-Pomorskie...not again," Vicki-Y shakes her head. "Not another drawn-out conflict, where nobody surivies...

The UN should not mirco-manage what people do, correct. The UN, could, however, help nations out in fufilling their duties to themselves, if the nation in question want the UN help. If they don't, we have no business being there."

Glenn Stephens, the representative from Galloism walks into the room and sits down. "A one-government world you say? That is interesting. That is Emperor Gallo's ultimate goal, except of course he wants to be the one in charge."

Stephens looks around for a moment.

"Do you guys have any alcohol around here?"

nodding as Vicki-Y's last comment Kaigan says "I would agree with your last statement but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Maybe your idea of lending forces to the UN is a good start. Maybe we could.."

Kaigan's cell phone goes off and he speaks to his assistant briefly.

"very well Midori san. send a copy of that repeal debate to Gatesville HQ and I'll keep an eye on things here"

the phone clicks off and Kaigan adds "sorry about that. As I was saying we may not be able to turn it into a proposal but it is a good idea. We just need to refine it so that loaned forces don't get caught in the middle of a messy war.

Even if a nation asks for help I would still need to look at each situation on a case by case basis"

looking up at the delegate he says "sure we do. whats your poison?"

"Thank you for your support..."

Vicki-Y looks at the delegate that comes in.

"Oh, hello. We are just talking about the new idea I have tossed around of donating soilders to help out the UN. Do you think you can help out?"

*Adaine finished talking to the dragon and walked over to the newcomer Vicki-Y who seemed to come from a world with no bars or clubs*

Vicki-Y sees Adaine and waves.

"Hello. Nice to see that we're finally having a crowd at this eating establishment. I hope you consider my propsal for donating forces."

Vicki-Y then drinks one more glass of water.

"I think I have enough water for one night. I fear I may get drunk if I drink too much water."

Kaigan chuckles and replies "you can't get drunk on water" and finishes his green tea off.

he turns to the bar man and orders and pays for a beer.

"now this will get you drunk. eventually" he adds smiling

"Oh....

Well, I still don't want to get drunk. I heard that being drunk is not good, you know...I don't know why, for that information was classifed and is above my security clearance, but I don't think getting drunk is a good idea."

"Thank you for your support..."

Vicki-Y looks at the delegate that comes in.

"Oh, hello. We are just talking about the new idea I have tossed around of donating soilders to help out the UN. Do you think you can help out?"

"Donating soldiers? I would of course have to get in touch with the Emperor, but I think he would be warm to the idea. He likes showing off his 2 meter tall genetically engineered army."

Stephens leans closer and speaks softly,

"The man's a little nuts, honestly. He acts like a genetically engineered army is the best thing since sliced bread. He loves to parade them everywhere he gets a chance to. Personally, I don't see what is so all-fired special about them."

Stephens leans back and says loudly,

"Gallo is kind of a genious really. I'm sure he'll be warm to the notion of showing off his super-soldiers."

I hope you consider my propsal for donating forces.

"Avarhierrim's military is a little stretched right now, maybe in the future" he replied insincerely.

"two meter tall genetically engineered soldiers you say" Kaigan replies as he sips at his beer.

realizing that he hasn't introduced himself he says "my name is Captain Miromuta of the the Kirisuban army and i'm my nations ambasador to the UN.

The lady is Vicki-Y of SLI sector"

Kaigan turns to Vicki-Y and asks "what's going on in Zodno-Pomorskie? you seemed quite concerned when you heard the news."

"There was a Communisut rebellion over there," Vicki-Y begins. "Horrible people, committing horrible crimes...they called themselves the Wlik, or wolves. Some UN members are begining to send forces into the area to restore over there...it's going to take years to rebuild...

If one nation get into internal struggle...it's over. That nation is gone, forever. He is isolated, and will never recover. The NS world has became a lawless place, where terrorism rules in parts of the world, and liberty never seen...but there is now hope. If the donated UN forces succeds over there, it will serve as a blueprint for future international interventions that will save people lives and restore order and liberty. As you said before, a journey begins with one step...

Since water can't make me drunk, bartender, can I take a gallon of water?"

Kaigan ponders and says "i'd need to clear this with my foreign office but if you can find out what humanitarian needs they have and all the background information you have we may be able to help them.

If you leave the information with our office, i could have a decision for you fairly quickly"

"I've got some documantion, I'll foward them to you..."

Application for Assistance by Z-P

1. Name of Conflict: Vigilant Hunt (Couldn't think of one better)

2. Wilk(Wolf): A group of those who despise democracy and wish to become a Communist state. With a group of 700,000 and growing, they pose a dangerous threat for the world.

3. Well, I am interested, but as for ranks, titles, locations, et cetera...I have no real clue.

4. Describe the conflict:

a. Revolt, for now. The enemy has a grip of coastal land, and is well-prepared for war. They have much money from foreigners and have many connections through which they could acquire equipment. No sources are known of.

b. This started as only a faction, and it elvoved into fighting in cities and rural areas.

c. Sporradic city fighting, heavy rural fighting in small areas.

5. Mostly light forces needed, some heavy forces in rural areas.

6. Defense, stabilization, and reconassance

a. 50,000 at most. Standard troops with Urban Training, Airborne, Mountain Infantry, and possibly troops for rural areas. Have cold weather gear. It never gets above 80 degrees (Fahrenheit) here.

b. Armored Attack Vehicles(Humvees, Jeeps), Light Tanks, Helicopters, Some light naval forces, transport, some air support. IF you would like, bring Unmanned Aerial Vehicles.

c. Cold Weather Gear, Chemical and Nuclear radiation protection gear.

d. Bring enough for many civilian casualties and enough for your troops. Also bring as much as you see fit for any other need you see.

e. See above.

f. Building materials, baby food, water, and milk. Generators also.

8. There is no real need for finances, other than a small cushion of any reasonable amount of cash in order to supply anything we'll need within the future. Reimbursment funds may also help as there will be heavy damage.

9. Basic stabilization and bolstering patrol through all areas. Police action is secondary, and selected only for some areas.

10. Bring in forces little by little. Subtlety is the key, as we do not want to provoke all-out war. Try to have your men learn the language, though most of our population speaks English. Also bring engineers as soon as possible.

11. Try to treat the situation as carefully as possible. Not all know about the Wilk organization, so have all of your staff keep their mouths shut.



Disclaimer: Do anything in your will or heart to help. We are not asking for a whole army, just some thousand or two men to help us out.

Oczyzna i Honor,
Jared Pulski, President's Spokesperson

Anyalsis of Situation
Zodno-Pomorskie (http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Zodno-Pomorskie) has a population of 6,000,000.

Wilk (Wolf), with 700,000 persons, therefore represents a significant percentage of ZP national population: 11.67%.

Are these all adult combatants? Or does this represent all persons of a politically-defined population including combatants, non-combatants, and perhaps even children?

If they represent all combatants, then this is a serious uprising which the government will be hard-pressed to deal with, at best. If it a general percentage of the population in the territories under revolt, then the situation is significant but less dire.

As per the results of a recent poll, recorded in EconomyStatistics (http://www.sunsetrpg.com/economystatistics.php), loyalty rate towards the government is moderate, but less than majority at 41%.

Which means 47.33% of the population is dissaffected with the government (and perhaps Wilk also) yet generally neutral in the conflict.

Unemployment rate of 11.48% and a lack of even basic spending on education, healthcare, social welfare, social equality, transportation and the enviroment likely leads to an exacerbation of conditions. While the nation currently is environmentally stunning and lush, it is rapidly degenerating.

Literacy rate is projected at only 6%. That seems egregiously low. It may mean the percentage of those who speak the official language of the government.

The trade deficit is significant, representing 3.64% of GDP. However government waste is low.

In terms of mobility of force, lack of transportation spending likely indicates poor road conditions, and inadequate airport and port facilities. Expect many parts of the nation to be difficult to access, and for petrol supplies to be sporadic.

Defense spending as of this report is set at 16% of government budget, law and order at another 25%, with a base income tax rate of 28% on a GDP per capita of $4,772.57.

Expect both a large police or paramilitary force as well as regular army.

Calculations estimate Zodno-Pomorskie military at 40,000 - 45,000 personnel and police or paramilitaries of another 60,000 - 70,000.

________

Kingdom of Listeneisse Pledge of Force

Kingdom of Listeneisse Zodno-Pomorskie Force (KLZPF) (13,800 total)

2nd Air Mobile Division* (8,400)
Towed Howitzers, 105mm: 36
SP Mortar Carriers, 120mm: 40
Towed Mortars, 120mm: 24
HMMWV: 420
Truck, 2.5T: 104
Truck, 5T: 24

KLZPF Provisional Air Group (2,400)
UH-60L Blackhawk: 150
AH-64D Apache Longbow: 24
OH-58D Kiowa Warrior: 24
C-130: 12
Light Transport Aircraft (1, 2 engine prop): 24
UAV, Attack: 40
UAV, Tactical Recon: 24

2nd Armored Cavalry Squadron (1,000)
M2A2 Bradley IFV: 24
M2A3 Bradley CFV: 21
HMMWV LOSAT ATGM: 30
HMMWV: 60
Truck, 2.5T: 30
Truck, 5T: 16
Truck, 10T: 16

Lord Marshal's Military Police Battalion (1,000)
M2A2 Bradley IFVs: 14
Towed Howitzers, 105mm: 8
Towed Mortars, 120mm: 4
HMMWV: 48
Truck, 2.5T: 40

Knights of the Order of the Temple of the Holy Grail (KOTHG)* (880)
LAV-III: 48
UH-60G Pave Hawk: 24
HMMWV: 60
Truck, 2.5T: 30
Truck, 5T: 16
Truck, 10T: 16

3rd Heavy Construction Company (120)
Various earth movers, road maintenance, bridging & mineclearing vehicles: 36

* Unit includes Mobile Field Hospital

Memorandum of Agreement
Air base with 3500m+ landing strip, JET-A, J8 fuel will be available.
Port facility capable of handling "panamax"-sized LO-LO and RO-RO vessels required for logistical support.
Additional strategic air transport and fleet supply ships are based out of Kingdom of Listeneisse in support of the mission and are not listed here.
Must confirm rebel force does not possess military aircraft and does not pose air threat to force. Therefore no SAM units or fighter aircraft deployed. If an air threat exists, it shall be made known to KLZPF which may thereafter choose to deploy additional surface-to-air missile (SAM) defenses.
Must confirm heavy weapons available to Wilk forces. If Wilk possesses Main Battle Tanks, heavy howitzers, rockets, or other signficant materiel of war, KLZPF may revise force structure in response.
Must confirm this is a peacekeeping operation observing cease-fire between government and insurgents. If no cease-fire is in affect, must confirm with Wilk of immanent arrival of KLZPF, and revise MOA for agreement to all parties. If no MOA can be obtained from Wilk, then KLZPF reserves the right to change force structure and may sign MOA with government of Zodno-Pomorskie (ZP).
The government of ZP agrees to abide by all UN resolutions related to rules of war, humanitarian law, and disarmament during time of operations of KLZPF. To wit: no landmines or chemical weapons shall be deployed against Wilk forces.
KLZPF is primarily goaled for the upholding of international humanitarian law, specifically seeking to offer civil protection of non-combatants and refugees, maintaining self-protection of force, and providing protection of Kingdom of Listeneisse and other nations' GO/NGO relief workers who may enter and operate in areas of conflict.
KLZPF shall not enter into hostilities unless fired upon, in which case it reserves the right to act with all necessary means for self-defense.
KLZPF is neutral, not partisan to the government of ZP nor to Wilk. However, it is being invited into the nation at the request of ZP government which may lead to the assumption of partisanship. The Kingdom of Listeneisse reserves the right to change it political stance due to attack or hostilities shown to it over course of time, but shall likely only do so in the case of concerted aggression, unprovoked beligerence and violation of the rules of war and humanitarian laws.
KLZPF shall provide 2 Mobile Field Hospitals capable of trauma care, as well as other medical personnel trained for the provision of eyecare, dentistry, OBGYN, pediatrics, pharmacology and GP medicine.
KLZPF shall provide a heavy construction company for repair of infrastructure damaged by insurgency and terrorist attacks.

And, here is an ongoing news website dealing with the revolt: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=449605 .

I hope the crisis ends soons."

Kaigan nods and says "i'll look over it with Midori once its arrives and get back to you as soon as i can tell you something"

he takes a deep drink from his glass of beer and says "if the rebellion is still on-going some parts of the country may be unsafe. I would recommend large capacity helicopters and appropriate air cover in that case. We use them for rapid troop movements during field exercises"

"Thank you for your advice, I'll send that to my government so they can begin implenting your suggestions.

I hope today is the begining of hope for the rest of the world."

"I hope so as well" Kaigan replies and drinks more beer "but a terrorist situation is never as cut and dried as people tell you"

It was at this stage of events Byron walked into the Bar!

Clang! thud! Groan! "Ouch! my bleeding head! Neville a pint dear chap and a Bag of ice to sit on this lump forming on my Bonce. Who the hell left that there?

Byron sat down Rubbing his throbbing crown.

"Hello, Byron. You're the ambassdor of Venerable libertarians, right?"

Vicki-Y sips a glass of cold water, and brings out his red PDA, typing on data on Venerable libertarains.

"I have a respect for that nation...after all, it has a chapter in the United Nations Organization, one of the only non-profits out there that really cares...we were just discussing the war in ZP, a rebellion by Wolves wanting to take over the nation. I have put up the idea before of people donating soilders to help out the UN, to help stop these sort of failed states from forming...it will help bring legiminacy to the UN and may serve as the first step on a path towards peace. So, Byron, can you donate forces to help out the UN?

Turning to Stephens, Vicki-Y says "And, I hope that the nation of Galloism will donate their forces to help out too. This is a very important event, a step towards peace..."

"To both parties, if you are interested, please say that you will be helping us here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=449442)."

as Kaigan relaxes with his beer, his cell phone goes off again.

he answers it and noting the call comes from his assistant they talk over an matter in their native tongue.

"Hai Wakarimasu Midori san" Kaigan replies and terminates the call.

he says to nobody in particular "we're never off duty as ambassadors" and shrugs his shoulders.

"i'm needed back in the office Vicki-Y. i'll get in touch later"

Kaigan drains his beer, puts on his peaked cap and leaves after bowing to the assembled delegates.

During a break in the conversation, Hodgelett commented to Dicey "You know, there's far too much actual work going on in here these days. You wouldn't believe it, not just the usual bribery and ally making but actual proposal advertising and just look at those two - young, innocent, and so full of ideas of the new world they're going to be a small cog in. Well, anyway," she added as she poured them each another glass, "here's to spanners!"

A curious sound was heard from outside the Strangers' Bar entrance. It sounded like chanting, or singing, or perhaps just some really bad karaoke. The "musical" noise grew louder and louder, until the source of it could be seen, marching through the doorway.

The Kawaiians had returned.

This time the HOCEK embassy appeared to have pulled out all the stops, for it looked like practically the entire Kawaiian NSUN contingent had shown up--otaku wearing robes in brown and red and on up the spectrum, even one clad in purple. Their varied headresses and decorations indicated representatives from numerous Conclaves were present, mostly the Conclave of Friendship and Conclave of Beauty. Accompanying the procession of priests were the ever-present contingent of Happiness Police, and even a few shadowy figures following up behind the parade and blending into the crowd of patrons.

At the center of the procession was a strange and rather ornate wooden box-like affair that the otaku were carrying with great reverence--obviously it was an important ritual object to them. As they carried it into the bar, the UN Nuncio (who was leading the procession), hailed Neville and said, "Greetings, kind sir!

"We're a little early, but we just read the census figures and discovered that our nation topped one billion today. Such an augery of good fortune can't be passed up, so we're hear to install the shrine we spoke of earlier."

Behind the Bar, Violet and Neville had also been observing the eager new delegates.

"I suppose you could say it was more plotting than debating," said Neville judiciously, with the love of technicalities that is the mark of any true sports fan, whether the sport be pole-vaulting or politics. "And plotting's always been acceptable in the Bar. Particularly twisted, intricate, just-this-side-of-legal plotting," he added wistfully, "but it's been a long time since we've seen any of that."

"Forget the nostalgia, just give me a hand with this," said Violet, who had small patience with Neville's outbreaks of philosophy. She began collecting all the sheets of explanations and applications Vicki-Y had scattered around.

"There's a place for this, and that place is the noticeboard," she fumed. "A simple Post-It with a website would have been sufficient, like Harlanadu's (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9773309&postcount=2738) last week."

"Or a contact number," Neville agreed. "Or an advert, even. Something like, 'Nation in trouble? Call UN - HELP! Operators are waiting to take your call!'."

Violet, suddenly looking up from her work, took a deep breath. "Ohmigod! If that's a real number, I think we need it right now," she said, gaping at the advance of the singing, chanting, bowing, dancing gaggle of devout, multicoloured Kawaiian-ity.

Neville winced as the huge shrine was manoeuvred into place on the previously flawless polished wood of the Bar counter. But he had given his word to the charismatics of the Cute One, and now must keep it.

He could not help but wonder, though, whether the Bar's air-scrubbers could hold up to the combined onslaught of the incense of the devotees and the intestinal unrest of Gurgle, the great Dragon from NS Deadly Stench.

Mathieu Vergniaud had been perched at the end of the bar less than half an hour when the Kawaiian ensemble swarmed in. He groaned and swilled the last mouthful of wine around the glass, wondering whether to beat a hasty retreat or remain on the offchance that Lydia Cornwall might make an appearance.

He ought to get back to his office. His work was snowballing in Varia Yefremova's absence and she wasn't due to return from holiday for another week.

Yes. He ought to walk out of the Bar now.

"Another Côte de Morgan, please."

Pause.

"Better make it a large one."

"Annoying." Stephens said aloud, "Do they always do this? We should pass a resolution making rackets like this illegal. We could always eliminate all the annoying things in the world, Karaoke, Mormons, personal injury attorneys, and those people from Amway."

A resounding laugh filled the bar at Stephens' levity.

"Bartender, I need another drink, and put some alcohol in it this time. My grandmother drinks stiffer beverages than this."

30 minutes after he left Kaigan returns to the bar still in his dark blue Kirisuban army uniform. He had left his usual katana behind in the office and had settled for a long tanto dagger with his familys name inscribed on the daggers scabbard in kirisuban writing.

the dagger was stuck in his belt and he looks rounds for Vicki-Y.

The "huge shrine" Neville was staring at in dismay turned out to be merely the carrying palanquin, borne aloft by the chanting and singing otaku. They stopped in front of the end of the bar where the Manifestation had been seen, and amid profuse bowing and cheering, raised the shrine out of the palanquin.

It looked rather like a bird house.

The bird house of the Donald Trump of the avian world, maybe. The shrine was small, not much bigger than a mailbox, but ornately and meticulously chiseled out of a variety of precious, exotic woods. The effort some Kawaiian woodcarver had obviously put into it was mind-boggling.

The priests placed the shrine upon a pole that had been mounted on the brass railing at the end of the bar, and continued their bowing and cheering. As they set it in place, the solitary purple-clad otaku stepped forward. Bearing a shide wand like the one that had been used to purify the sake barrel once before (only much larger), the senior priest began a similar ritual purification chant, waving the wand over the newly-installed shrine.

The Kawaiian UN Nuncio took a few moments away from the ceremony to chat with Neville, saying, "Thanks for being so considerate on such short notice. The Conclave of Beauty sent out one of their Ministers to preside over this, and I really couldn't say no to him."

Hakim Zilativ nervously entered and glanced around the crowded bar.

Relatively new to the wheeling and dealing with representatives from nations around the world, he had not expected the enormous pressure and stress that came along with being appointed Ambassador General of his relatively young nation.

"Just for tonight," he thought to himself, "I'm not who I am."

He walked up to the bar and sat down. The bartender approached him to take his order and said, "Pick your poison."

"Whiskey sour," he replied. He pulled out his gold-plated lighter and felt his pockets for his pack of cigarettes. He had quit a few years ago, but with the pressures of his new job, his old habits came back to comfort him.

He looked around at the people lounging at the bar. It wasn't until a few moments when he realized the beautiful young woman sitting beside him, drinking a cosmopolitan. As young as she was, she had an aged look on her face, the kind that inevitably comes with time working in the United Nations.

She noticed Hakim glancing at her and replied, "Must be new around here, huh?"

Hakim's face reddened with the embarrassment of being caught glaring. "Umm, sorry, didn't mean to stare... but yeah, I guess I'm pretty new."

She gave a curt smile. "Don't worry. Give it a few years and you'll be begging your president out of this job."

Hakim was puzzled by her cynicism. "How long have you been here?"

"Too long. I can't even remember," the woman replied.

"My name is Hakim, by the way," he offered.

The young woman took a sip from her drink. "I'm Bridgette," she replied.

"Must be tough being here for so long," Hakim said trying desperately to continue the conversation.

"It's been hell on Earth. My Queen has been riding me to push all her agendas through. I have a staff of about twenty people and we're all being run ragged," she explained.

"I can imagine. I've only been here for a week and already I feel like I'm way over my head. I just heard about this place and... well, I just need to unwind," Hakim replied.

"Is it lonely for you in this dreary city?" Bridgette asked.

"You have no idea," Hakim replied.

Hakim slowly felt a hand touching his knee and slowly, but surely, moving up his thigh. "I think I do," said Bridgette. "Imagine living in a country of 20 million women and NO men."

"Ms. Bridgette," Hakim said quite coyfully. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Why, are you seducible?" asked Bridgette.

Hakim knew that his night just got better.

(sees Kaigan)

Vicki-Y says "Hiya Kiagan...

Uh...why you have a dagger? Are weapons allowed in this stranger bar?"

Vicki-Y reaches for something in her pocket.

Mathieu watched the two unfamiliar delegates at the other end of the bar with increasing disbelief. How long they been here? Five minutes? What am I doing wrong? A sensation of homesickness washed over him. Never had these problems in Burroughs, he thought, mournfully.

"Finally," sighed Moltan Bausch as he staggered into the bar. He'd been trying for what seemed like hours to get. His electronic keycard had kept buzzing him out, though. He'd been identified as a 'Visiting Bureaucrat'; this 'VB error' had rendered him unable to get into the Bar. He'd been relieved, after a fashion, to see others struggling too.

The Duke Marechal Leclerc, UN ambassador to New Poitiers, walked into the Strangers Bar. This being his first time, he looked around at the opulence with which the bar was decorated. He walked over to the bar, ordered a pint of the finest Gronenbourk beer, as well as a bag of sweetnuts. He sat down at an empty booth and began pondering at all the other delegates. An entire international community, in one bar in the entire world, but the most luxurious bar money could afford. He felt satisfied with life. The New Pictavien mused over his sweetnuts and contemplated his work.

Two men suddenly entered the bar. They appeared about 2 meters tall, and immediately approached the delegate from Galloism.

The left one said, "Mr. Stephens, you are being summoned back to Galloism. The emperor wants to speak with you, in person."

Stephens began shaking, but complied.

As he was walking out of the bar, a woman walked in, about 5' 7", with long blonde hair. She took Stephens' ID card. "Go about your business, ladies and gentlemen. I'm just the new ambassador from Galloism. Angelina Gallo is my name, and I'm pleased to be here and to meet you all. Bartender, Silver Bullet Martini, shaken not stirred."

She then proceeded to sit down at one of the tables.

The Cobdenian delegate, Sir Nigel Arthur Cholmondsey-Choldmondsey-Smythe-Featherstonehaugh-Barraclough, KCRC, enters the Strangers Bar for the first time ever, despite being an old hand at the UN. He carries with him a weasael ball (http://www.weaselballs.com/).

"Look everybody, I've got a weasel ball! I bought it off the internet! Isn't it just great?" he says, placing the weasel ball on the floor, and watching it roll around...

Kaigan smiles when he sees Vicki-Y and says "i managed to convince security that an honour blade is necessary to my samurai status. We're duty bound to carry a blade at all times and have done for as long as the samurai class has been around.

Sorry about running out on you earlier. theres was some pressing business back home"

He orders a pint of beer and sits beside his friend.

"Okay...

I got a c-mail that says that if I want Kirisubo to help out in ZP, then I need to establish communication with you.

So, how much can Kirisbuo help?"

The weasel ball cheered up Dicey immensely. "Reminds me of our mousy allies," she confided to Hodgelett.

The sight of Sir Nigel Etc-Etc cheered Dicey up even more. She had a weakness for distinguished older men. Especially distinguished older men who were still silly enough to enjoy a weasel ball.

She was just sidling up to introduce herself (and Hodgelett, but Hodgelett was a Girlfriend, Hodgelett wouldn't claim-jump) when her Presidential Advisor, the great Ardchoille Cat, Bast, entered. Stopped. Saw the swiftly-moving weasel ball. Pounced. Crunched.

"Ohhhhh, my," he said into the widening circle of silence. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. It was entirely reflex. Look, really, I'm terribly sorry. I've never done that to a diplomat before, I wouldn't have had it happen for the world -- Neville, quick! Press the Acme Anti-Fatality Button! Switch the time-lines! Bring him back to life!"

"Sorry, no can do," Neville said, enjoying himself. "It's not working. Jolt, you know."

"But ... what about his family? What about his nation? They'll declare war on us! We've never fought a war, we don't know how! Oh, this is terrible ..."

Dicey could stand the distress of her Feline Advisor no longer.

"It wasn't a diplomat, Bast. It was just a toy. It wasn't alive at all."

There was anoither silence. Bast looked around the circle of faces.

"Of course," he said. "I knew that all along."

He sat down, tucked his tail around him and industriously washed his face briefly with one paw. Then he turned, scratched his front claws on the carpet, tossed imaginary dirt over the remains of the weasel-ball with his back paws, and exited haughtily.

"I don't speak Cat, but I think I can interpet that as, 'Let us never speak of this again'," said Neville, pouring drinks.

Kaigan turns back to Vicki-Y.

my government can provide emergency humanitarian aid of all types but they stated that they cannot interfere in a conflict outside their region. our constituition forbids it. we even had to amend it to let Kirisuban troops fight in the defence of the region rather than just the homeland.

I was told that if the fighting stops for good my government can send in aid but not peace keeping troops. The only people I can see who can stop this is the UN.

Can't they broker peace talks in a neutral nation state and bring this to a peaceful end? I would hope so.

"Ah yes, the old doctrine of 'if you enter a room where you don't know anyone, wash. If you want to demonstrate your ease in another's company, wash. If you did something embarassing, wash. If you've nothing else to do, wash.'"
Slightly louder, Hodgelett turned towards Bast, "How's your kitten doing? I suppose you've heard I've a politi-princess of my own now."

Otterby entered the bar and promptly hit his head on the door frame, prompting much cursing on his part. Sidling up to the bar he ordered a Guinness, to act as an anaesthetic and a relaxing agent for his first visit to the Strangers Bar in a fortnight.

"God," thing have changed, "and where's Gurgle the Dragon gone, I was just starting to form a rapport with him."

He sipped and a frown came across his face.

"More importantly," he wondered aloud, "where's Byron, I can't just drink here alone and I don't know anyone."

Byron strolled nonchalantly into the bar whistling a happy tune as he avoided the doorframe and the large bar that was still protruding which he had collided with earlier. Good evening all he said happily as he looked at the persons present. Calling on Neville’s bar skills Byron ordered a Guinness 39, a very new brew that was coming from the renowned breweries in his home region. It looked like a Guinness, It felt like a Guinness; however it was a whole new taste sensation.
Noting the other members of the UNOG around the bar he gave the secret recognition wink and carried on about his business.
On sitting down he noticed Leonard holding his bonce. “Otterby old pal how the heck are you?” He enquired of his UN colleague. Upstairs in the new 40th floor offices his team had become so efficient at their jobs Byron now had some time on his hands. The affable Lady Grey had become some what excellent at her role as Assistant to the Chief Negotiator and since her arrival Byron had everything at hand when required, meetings arranged and ran on time. Neville delivered the Guinness at this point having expertly pulled the pint, leaving it to settle before filling the glass to the top to reveal the creamy head and with a swift rounding movement as he poured the marking of a shamrock was made in the head. He gripped the glass with his right hand and raised it. “To expediency and the quest for excellence” he toasted to the other members of the Bar and with a thirsty obsession he brought the glass to his mouth and imbibed the delicious beverage in large gulping mouthfuls. Placing the Glass back on the bar and wiping away the creamy moustache left upon his top lip Byron Motioned to Neville for a replacement and feeling the compassion the Hibernians were renowned for he ordered a G39 for everyone in the Bar.

Otterby was delighted to see Byron and cast his glass aside (he'd nearly finished it anyway) to try some of this new 'Guinness 39' drink. It certainly looke like Guinness, yet it was indeed a whole new taste sensation. It was indescribable, somehow every faculty in Otterby's mind strained to find a definition for the sheer intense novelty of the fanfare bombarding his palate.

He swallowed and stared into space for a few seconds, then he shook himself and turned to Byron.

"It's been a rough few weeks," he remarked, "we recently had an armed uprising in our North-West Frontier Province, which was bad enough, but then a Southern secessionist group started one in the South-East. I'm from the city of Olmenholt, which is in that region. The government didn't trust me to remain 100% loyal, so they shipped me back to Compadria for the duration of the crisis. Anthony's been filling in for me, but I miss the NSUN and the Strangers Bar."

He took another swig.

"After all my loyal years of service, they cast me aside like I'm some kind of traitor. I've made my mind up now, I'm retiring from the diplomatic corps at the first opportunity. If they want Anthony to take my place, then let him. I just don't want to be undermined anymore.

The fact is anyway that I'm too closely linked to the Centre-Coalition Party, who are about to lose a general election, so I'll probably be out of a job soon anyway. Anthony's a clever one, he doesn't really back any particular party, but he's been getting on very good terms with the daughter of a National Liberal Party official. Since they're almost certainly going to win the election, he's playing his cards perfectly. He'll get my job for sure."

He looked bitter for a moment and felt a tear welling up in his eye. He shook himself and recovered his composure.

"Nevermind that though, it's good to see you again Byron, I've missed having good company over these last few weeks. Tell me, how is the fair region of Ireland and the wonderful nation of Hibernia. Hopefullly more stable than Compadria, I think."

Byron lost his aire of happiness as he heard the woes of the compadrian. The long peace in the Realm of Hibernia between its nations and the brotherly community atmosphere was all but taken for granted by its people and their Representatives. The Nations of the Realm only knew of interregional strife as they formed a coalition of nations in defence of each other.
Byron Placed his hand on Otterby's Shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Leonard, I do not know what to say to console you regarding the politics of your homeland but what i will say is this. You are always welcome to the nations of the Realm and if there is anything we can do n the diplomatic side dont hesitate to ask. As for Holt? I am surprised he is being looked on as a favourable successor. Ive never seen the man sober!"
Then Again Byron thought to himself considering some of the halfwits out there placed in the international diplomacy role by Leaders who sometimes were almost as idiotic as the curs they sent to represent their nations to the Union.
"Neville" Byron called, "All drinks for the strangers bar this night shall be on the Realms Tab starting with refreshing my friends glass of G39"
As for my region Byron answered to Otterby, It is as quiet as ever and my Team upstairs are currently looking at the repeals of 106 and 70 which we have so far failed to achieve. We are now looking at hitting them one at a time on their own merits as the fluffies out their will not be able to support an intense ripping apart and defence of the repeals when taken on their own merits or the lack of them per say. We are still confidant we can get them repealed but we are looking at a long and hard road. The Fluffies just dont seem to realise UNCoESB does what the other two resolutions do but better."

Can't they broker peace talks in a neutral nation state and bring this to a peaceful end? I would hope so.

"No...there is no propsal that could allow for that to happen...

UNLESS...we pass a propsal that can allow for a committe of UN forces that can manage peacetalks! Yes, that would be wonderful! Let get a pen and start writing! You may bring an end to wars everywhere!"

"The Fluffies just dont seem to realise UNCoESB does what the other two resolutions do but better."

"I know what you mean," Otterby replied darkly, "I had a similar experience trying to explain something to an intelligence officer. The only problem was, I needed a little more than several thousand votes to convince him that I was right."

He looked up and smiled cheerfully.

"Oh it wasn't anything serious you understand, he was just a bit thick that's all. Anyway, I'm glad to hear you're fighting bureacracy as hard as ever. If you need a hand, I'd be more than happy to lend one."

"Was it all just a dream?" Hakim Zilativ asked himself quietly as he entered the bar.

He found it hard to believe that only 24 hours before, he had entered the lounge for the first time since assuming the post of Ambassador General for his nation.

And then he met Bridgette... sweet, beautiful Bridgette sitting next to him as he fumbled for his cigarettes. As he delicately brushed aside the fine blonde hairs away from her face as she slept, he could not believe how an angel from heaven could have found him in a city where even angels fear to tread.

The night felt like an eternity and that was alright with him. He could have watched her sleep forever.

He eventually succumbed to sleep and when he woke up she was gone. No letter, no sign, nothing. Gone. As if she never entered his life. He only knew her name. Bridgette.

He knew that he must find her.

He took up the same spot at the bar the night before. As if on cue, the bartender approached him to take his order. "Pick your poison," he said.

"Whiskey sour," Hakim answered, then giving it a second though. "Actually, make it a double."

A few moments later, the bartender prepared his drink and set it before him. "You wouldn't happen to know the woman that came in here last night, would you? Tall, blonde, name's Bridgette?" Hakim inquired.

"Can't say I remember the broad," the bartender responded casually.

Hakim slid a 20 Liberty note towards the man. "Think a little harder," he said.

"Bridgette, you say? Now that you mention it, I think I remember... yeah, she was a prized piece if I do say so myself," the bartender replied chuckling.

"Well, do you know anything about her?" Hakim asked, becoming quite annoyed.

"Well, you're all diplomats here. I remember she paid last night with pallatian guilders. So if you ask me, your best bet would be that she works with the Pallatium government at the UN," the bartender responded.

Hakim finished his drinks, paid the bartender and began to make his way out of the bar. He knew he had to find her. No question. There was not enough whiskey in the entire world to make him forget about her.

Kaigan looks round to the Hiberanian delegates bows, and says "Domo honoured delegate"

going to the bar he gets a few of Vicki-Y's flyers and a pen from Neville and prepares to write on the blank side of it.

now with a guinness 39 and some paper he resumes his seat and says softly 'where do we start?'

he writes on the top of the blank side of the page 'a way to stop wars'

****

while Kaigan is busy, Midori Kasigi, his assistant enters the bar. Dressed in her green formal Kirisuban Airforce uniform the young samurai-officer takes a seat by the bar and orders a green tea. an honour blade hangs from her belt.

Nursing a headache she swallows some tablets and drinks the tea. Noticing her superior busy with another delegate she takes the chance to relax at the bar.

The chanting purple-clad otaku was apparently finished with brushing away whatever lingering evil spirits might have been trying to attack the newly-installed Shrine of the Manifestation, for he put away the shide wand and stepped backward. With a clap of his hands, he motioned three other priests to come forward. They were bearing a rough, obviously hand-made rope adorned with folded paper shide, similar to the ones on the senior priests' wand, and as they approached they formed a crude circle surrounding the birdhouse like structure. Chanting and singing, the priests circled the rope-garland around the shrine, eventually hooking it onto the corners of the wooden "house" to form a kind of fence about it.

The Kawaiian UN nuncio stood near Neville while an otaku from the Conclave of Beauty attempting to explain the ritual to the confused bartender. "The Shrine is, of course, the home we're offering the Manifestation--that's why it looks like a house. Hopefully it will be pleasing to It; the workmanship was some of the finest we could arrange. The rope there, now that's important--it's the ward that separates the Holy Residence from the, er, more...mundane..." he said, looking over the bar and its patrons "...world around it.

"It's vitally important that once the ceremony is complete, the rope ward must not be disturbed--ever. Once a year it'll be replaced at the Ceremony of Renewal, but if it gets damaged or removed between now and then, we'll need to bring in an otaku to reconsecrate the shrine."

The UN Nuncio added, "Hopefully that won't be a problem. I'm making arrangements with the home office for a couple of shrine maiden attendants to look after it."

*Adaine stared at Bast, waiting for her response to Hodgelett. He had never seen a talking cat before. A talking dragon had been bad enough. He had seen horses that understood human speak and his cats always appeared to understand what chicken was and when they were being insulted. but a talking cat was novelty. Adaine felt like stroking her, but then thought it might be offensive. He thought Neville had been cruel to string her along.*

Angelina Gallo had been idly listening to this conversation about UN troops and ending war, but then finally spoke up, "You know, it's all well and good to talk about ending war, but, now and again, a revolution is a good thing. My father has absolute authority in Galloism, and wields it in an absolutely unflinching way. You never know who or what you are warring against. Do you all ever attack those whom hurt their people?"

Angelina turned back to her drink and muttered under her breath, "Sometimes, a man just needs to be removed. It's too bad that sometimes the ones willing to do something haven't the manpower to do it."

Otterby realised that a full hour had passed since he'd entered the bar and he'd had nothing to drink.

"A Guinness 39 please Neville", he asked.

What's wrong with me? He wondered internally about his state of mind. He'd been getting very forgetful recently, for instance...

Oh damn, he couldn't remember an example.

Kaigan listens as he writes the first words down.

"Ms Gallo, from what i've seen of the facts regarding ZP i'd consider a peoples revolution as a possiblity. My government can't get involved in anothers conflict and neither will my region or regional allies.

Gatesville's forces will only mobilise to defend a member from attack or go on exercises not to go on a territory grab"

he adds the words :

why nations stop fighting.

1- they surrender or sue for terms after being mauled
2- both sides fight to a stand still
3 - one side leaves the conflict if they are badly weakened.
4 - a peace treaty is negotiated by a neutral party before above conditions apply.

Prince Byron was at this stage bemused by the hallowed goings on by the new shrine and was heartilly amused by the look of pain on Neville's face as he watched a part of his bar become a Holy Shrine. With that Byron let off a huge audible fart which echoed across the bar and turned the patrons heads, mostly in disgust. Byron, obviously worse for wear after several Guinness 39's started Chanting a mock chant and then hollered over to Neville and the Otaku "Jaysus! someone get a Priest! I think i've followed through with an immacculate conception!" He Belly laughed and was followed in laughter by Leonard Otterby. The two pals clinked their pint glasses, Still guffawing like giddy teenagers and Byron called to have their glasses refilled.

Angelina Gallo sighed as she read the note. Her father was such a good public speaker, the people would be more likely to rise up and protect him than to overthrow him.

She burned the note with her lighter and went back to her drink.

Ah. A good drink is in order. Edward was pleased with his work today. His time as Minister was nearing a close, and he planned to make sure that he left the position in a blaze of glorious debating and other fun activities. Nodding respectfully at Lord Byron, Edward took a seat at the bar and asked Neville for some Imperial Brandy from Clearwater.

'Ahh don't worry Rosie you'll get used to it.'

The ever cheerful Giordano pushed the Rosie into the bar. She smiled gracefully and shuffled forward.

'So this is the bar. That's Neville. Say 'hi' to Neville Rosie, tell him that Mr Giordano's drinks are on you.'

'Hello Neville.'

'Give me two pints of something lagerish mate.'

Having tried to teach Byron the words of an old Compadrian drinking song, involving the rather bawdy exploits of an otter, Otterby eventually disintegrated into a fit of giggles and polished off the round Byron had bought him.

"Come on my dear Byron, I'll buy the next round, we've got to keep the Aspidistra flying, eh".

This and several other nonsensical statements followed, mostly concerned with the mysterious Aspidistra. Finally, having recovered his composure as much as was possible, given his state, Otterby slouched on the counter and asked Byron:

"What've you got againsht dolphinsh then (slurred to near incoherence), don't you love dolphins like we all do."

Byron asked whether he meant the repeal of resolution 106.

"Yesh," continued Otterby, "I mean, whatsh wrong with dolphinsh, they're great animals, eh. Who'd not want to shave them eh, who wouldn't want to shave dolphins."

He tailed off into gibberish.

Anthony Holt strode up to the bar and told Otterby that their was a telephone call for him.

"From the Luris," he insisted, "it's very important".

"Tell him to bugger off", Otterby spouted back, "can't he leave me in peash for once? once I ask you?"

"It's very important sir".

"Oh god, you bureaucratsh are all the shame, all work and no play".

He slumped off to answer the phone, but before leaving he called back.

"Keep old Byron company won't you; get him some more of that 39 stuff, itsh good."

Holt sat down at the bar and smiled apologetically at Byron.

"Sorry about that," he said, "he's been under a lot of stress recently, got to his nerves I think. Wouldn't you say?"

Having tried to teach Byron the words of an old Compadrian drinking song, involving the rather bawdy exploits of an otter, Otterby eventually disintegrated into a fit of giggles and polished off the round Byron had bought him.

(SNIPY SNIP SniPitEy SnIP SNIP!)

"Sorry about that," he said, "he's been under a lot of stress recently, got to his nerves I think. Wouldn't you say?"
Byron was Grinning from ear to ear watching leonard sway and swagger toward the telephone Booths. "Personally speaking ive nothing against dolphins. I mean under the UNC0ESB, Article 4, they would be listed in my nation as Species of National Importance. However i see the resolution, Protection of Dolphins Act, As a hindrance to free trade and tradition in the Nations where Dolphins are not held in such High Esteem. Also theres the fact that if the PoDA was repealed Nations would have to work to Quotas set down by the UNCoESB Executive well before an extinction event was deemed imminent. Also the Main reason i introduced the UNCoESB in the first place was to be rid of multiple singular resolutions for singular species. The rate we are going at we could have a resolution for thousands of singular species and the inherent costs associated with their committees and organisations. It would be like having the World wildlife federation for only Panda's. Utter fiscal Madness. And who is to pay for it all?? Everyone here in the Stangers Bar. Every single UN Nation Civilian. Thats who! Any hoo enough about that! I believe wedding bells are immenent Holt?" Byron said to the Compadrian. "By the way! What will become of Leonard if he is replaced here and sent home?"

'I'm sorry did he call you Byron.'

'Rose. No.'

'I know it's our official policy only to flirt with reps from H…'

'No. Bad rose. No flirting with Byron.'

'But…'

'No!'

Rose pouted.

Kaigan then passes another sheet of paper and the pen to Vicki-Y and cooly regards the Galloism Delegate.

"Ms Gallo or should that be Princess Angelina?, lets say you had the forces available to intervene in the republic of Zodno-Pomeroskie what would you do about it?"

he then takes a sip of his guinness 39 and waits for an answer.

Byron was Grinning from ear to ear watching leonard sway and swagger toward the telephone Booths. "Personally speaking ive nothing against dolphins. I mean under the UNC0ESB, Article 4, they would be listed in my nation as Species of National Importance. However i see the resolution, Protection of Dolphins Act, As a hindrance to free trade and tradition in the Nations where Dolphins are not held in such High Esteem. Also theres the fact that if the PoDA was repealed Nations would have to work to Quotas set down by the UNCoESB Executive well before an extinction event was deemed imminent. Also the Main reason i introduced the UNCoESB in the first place was to be rid of multiple singular resolutions for singular species. The rate we are going at we could have a resolution for thousands of singular species and the inherent costs associated with their committees and organisations. It would be like having the World wildlife federation for only Panda's. Utter fiscal Madness. And who is to pay for it all?? Everyone here in the Stangers Bar. Every single UN Nation Civilian. Thats who! Any hoo enough about that! I believe wedding bells are immenent Holt?" Byron said to the Compadrian. "By the way! What will become of Leonard if he is replaced here and sent home?"

"I can see your point," said Holt, "it's always struck me as illogical that the government insists that we support this act when it's been shown as unnecessary and as you say, fiscally irresponsible. I take your point about the multiplication of committees very seriously, bureaucracy is one of the greatest problems facing the NSUN at the moment, it's epidemic and few people seem to want to do anything about it. I'd love, personally, to see a greater fight against it in future and quite possibly a bit more fiscal responsibility when it comes to our annual budget. At the moment it's all out of control."

He glanced over to Otterby who was chatting energetically on the phone.

"As for Leonard, well I've little idea what'll happen to him if he leaves. He won't carry on in politics, that's for certain. He'll probably retire to some quiet country house and spend his days writing letters defending his record at the U.N. Mind you, he's quite a volatile individual and there's every chance that he'd change his mind, one can never tell with Leonard. The business of being recalled to Compadria really shook him up, I still think he's in shock over it. I was really, I thought we'd gone beyond that sort of behaviour to be honest, casting doubt over loyal civil servants. I think he's worried about being forgotten more than anything else."

"I don't think he will be though, do you?" He asked Byron.

"Oh", he suddenly added, "and what were you referring to by 'wedding bells'.

'I'm sorry did he call you Byron.'

'Rose. No.'

'I know it's our official policy only to flirt with reps from H…'

'No. Bad rose. No flirting with Byron.'

'But…'

'No!'

Rose pouted.
Byron smiled his naturaly flirtatious smile, normally reserved for the lovely Violet Bracket. "Indeed he did" he replied, Acknowlaging the present company which he had overheard. "I am Prince Esheram Byron, Chief Negotiator for the Realm of Hibernia and this is Anthony Holt, Representing the nation of Compadria. And you might be? " he added, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

Anthony's a clever one, he doesn't really back any particular party, but he's been getting on very good terms with the daughter of a National Liberal Party official.

Byron made quotation marks with his fingers as he replied to Holt's question regarding his inference to wedding bells. "As for you're colleague" Byron continued, "there have been many with whom i have been aquainted in this bar and many whom i'll forget. However, the affable Leonard Otterby will not be among them" and he broke into the Otter song as he beconed Neville to refill the G39's.

"Oh that," Holt remarked, blushing all the time, "I do have a close relationship with a certain lady who happens to be the daughter of a Party official. We're not thinking of marrying just yet, but we're very happy together and I'm sure, with a bit of luck, she and I can survive as a couple."

He blushed again and hid himself in his drink.

At this point, Otterby came back, looking somewhat chirpier than before.

"Byron," he exclaimed joyously, "you learned the song" and he broke into a rousing chorus of accompaniement.

"I can see your point," said Holt, "it's always struck me as illogical that the government insists that we support this act when it's been shown as unnecessary and as you say, fiscally irresponsible.
Bob walked over and joined in the conversation. "You think it fiscally irresponsible for you. How do you think we feel about it? We've got no dolphins in the nation to protect, and yet the resolution requires us to spend money to try to protect them. If I remember correctly the last time we checked on the progress of the scitnetists assigned to figure out how to protect them, we found them to be spending their time playing MMORPGs."

Kaigan then passes another sheet of paper and the pen to Vicki-Y and cooly regards the Galloism Delegate.

"Ms Gallo or should that be Princess Angelina?, lets say you had the forces available to intervene in the republic of Zodno-Pomeroskie what would you do about it?"

he then takes a sip of his guinness 39 and waits for an answer.

Angelina Gallo sipped her drink. "Just call me Angel. I don't require any kind of extranious titles to know who I am. My brothers may require all this extra pomp and ceremony, but I don't. They're compensating for something, no doubt."

Angel sipped her drink again, "Hypothetically, if someone were to challenge Galloism's army, it would pull most of his forces away from his capitol. A small contingency force could then land, grab him, and get away with their prize. Challenging his army directly is a mistake, with eleven million 2 meter tall genetically engineered soldiers, nuclear weapons, and an orbital weapons platform that stands at high alert twenty-four hours a day. I don't doubt for a second that, if he thought he was being defeated, he would use any resource he had to defend himself, at any cost. If one were to attack Galloism, they would have to grab him first. Then someone, with royal credentials, could sieze power and stop the fighting."

She sipped finished her drink and ordered another. "This is, of course, purely hypothetical."

Kaigan nods, drinks more of his guinness 39 and says "Angel thats assuming that someone is daft enough to attack your empire. if anyone tried to attack my nation they would also have to deal with the combined forces of the Gatesville regions and its francises.

the situtaion in Z-P isn't so cut and dried. apparently a terrorist group named 'wilk' started a campaign against the legal governement. the government asked for NSUN help and Vicki-Y will tell me if i'm wrong on this.

so far two governents have sent forces to reinforce the Z-P forces and to keep the peace.

i haven't had any updates for a while so i'd assume that Wilk's campaign is still ongoing.

If Vicki had asked the Empire of Galloism for help what would their response have been?"

The peculiar time quirk had occurred again...oh well. It had enabled Hodgelett to spend her birthday with her family, even though she wasn't sure how the (very male) Bast was coping with being suspended in time. Of course, as per usual any holidays meant a whole load of paper work. There was that paper someone wanted about murder and causation, another on the principles of the 'Commission, Parliament and the Council' and the fact the Executive and the Legislative seemed indistinct in the group of Nations this concerned. The ban on force fed geese destined for foie gras on paper somewhere was to be tested in a hypothetical situation before submitting as a proposal. If that wasn't enough, someone had decided the UN section did not cover enough domestic policy and left a list of questions concerning the structure of the 'constitution' and wanted comparisons with other member states.
However, like any good UN delegate, the first port of call was the Bar for mulling over the papers, prioritising, and probably forgetting.

Neville hadn't seen the Bar this much abuzz in a long time. Some nice plotting in train over there (revolution on the cards in Galloism, eh? Must do something about the old investment portfolio). Fair amount of the usual this 'n' that going on -- particularly in the case of that new delegate, Hakim Zilativ; they must be fast workers in Vitalinia (note to self: remind room service to leave gold foil chocolate hearts on his pillows; query long-stemmed roses?).

And, of course, the constant debates. If this to-ing and fro-ing went on much longer, Neville was going to have to have a word with the chef; there'd be a bit of a kerfuffle if someone figured out that an entire section of the menu -- Dauphin en croquette, filets de dauphin, dauphin flambe, etc --wasn't some sort of obscure tribute to the lost heirs of the French monarchy.

But it was the personal interactions that were really the heart of the Bar. Thanking his lucky stars for existence of Hodgelett, Neville cast a glance over at the black-and-white majesty of Bast, Ardchoille's Feline Advisor. Apparently the Randomean delegate had managed to smooth him down completely, judging by his tail, which was no longer lashing from side to side.

Who'd have thought those baby photos would come in handy so often? First the Otaku, then Bast, falling under the spell of her undeniably Cute poli-princess. And now she and Bast had linked up with Adaine, and they were all casting reproachful glances his way. Well, the machines really WERE broken, Neville told himself again. Still, he knew both he and Dicey were decidedly on the outer with the Cat at the moment, unforgiven for the incident with the weasel-ball.

To soothe himself, Neville began humming the tune of the deplorable ballad Compadria's delegate had made so popular and turned his attention to loading the dishwasher. But his brief peace was shattered by overhearing an idle query from Dicey Riley.

"Tell me, did you ever get that point about customs taxes settled?" she asked Hodgelett. "I know the proposal's gone through, but I thought it pointed out a certain obscurity in the wording."

Ye gods, Dicey taking an actual interest in UN legislation? When there was Byron's new drink to be investigated, the newcomer Rose to be interrogated (like, what in Hades was Giordano up to?), Bast still to be placated and a horde of new men to be dated?

"The world is upside-down," he told Violet, who shook her head at him and took the crystal glasses away to be hand-washed.

Byron smiled his naturaly flirtatious smile, normally reserved for the lovely Violet Bracket. "Indeed he did" he replied, Acknowlaging the present company which he had overheard. "I am Prince Esheram Byron, Chief Negotiator for the Realm of Hibernia and this is Anthony Holt, Representing the nation of Compadria. And you might be? " he added, eyebrows raised in curiosity.
Rose blushed and stared down at Byrons feet.

'I'm Rose. The new representative from The Black New World. And don't mind Giordano he's just being grumpy because he has a thing for the barlord. Tragic really.'

Regaining her composure she smiled cockily at Byron.

Giordano sulked off but not, unusually, towards the bar.

Moltan stormed in. He was not, as Gruenbergers would say, a happy dhiwoqwhdi.

"A double - no make it a triple - Gallak, Neville. And a dauphin flambe."

He looked around for ketchup.

Jason sat at the bar, decidedly getting wasted while eating a side order of fries. After dumping a quarter of the bottle onto his delicious side meal, he noticed someone run up to the bar, searching ravenously for the ketchup. Jason slid it across the bar, only to stop next to the persons' plate.

"Knock yourself out."

http://img434.imageshack.us/img434/5610/dolphinburger1jn.png

"Thanks," Moltan replied, and began adding liberal splodges of the thick red sauce. He licked his lips in anticipation.

Neville hand me all the beer you got, I got a new liver, and I'm wanting to put some millage on it!

Midori finishes her green tea and orders another one paying with a few half oban coins.

the oriental woman in the green uniform notices the man at the bar and she takes of her peaked cap to reveal her long dark hair.

leaving the cap beside her old cup of tea she rubs her eyes and says softly to the delegete from Vitalina "whats wrong. you look the the UN has just repealed your constitution"

Dun Dun Dun Dun Dadun Dun DaDun. The Imperial March played in the background as a small penguin waddled into the bar. "I, Echron the Midgety, am here to announce the return of Wade! That is all." Wade walked in and stated, "Neville, the rest of todays drinks are on me!".

Is this how you people waste the tax payers money? This is shameful...

As a representative of the Heaven Gate government, I demand that you bring me a Gin and Tonic as well as a hamburger. That I will pay out of my own pocket, of course.

If Vicki had asked the Empire of Galloism for help what would their response have been?"

"I am not sure on the entire situation surrounding that event, but it is unlikely that my father would send his military halfway across the world on a whim. He already showed off his new genetically engineered military to the world a couple weeks ago, and would probably feel that another demonstration at this time would be irrelevant to invoking an image of power to his little playground."

She finishes her drink and turns back, "Do they serve anything to eat here? I could really go for a New York style pizza."

Wade turned to the unkown(to him) delagate. "Who says this is my tax payers money? I have the boom box and song from when I was a kid, the 'herald' was my little brother, and I'm paying with the money I just won from a lotto scrather thingy. Neville, get me a root beer, please."

"Angel i'm sure they can do food in here" Kaigan replies "and since you're droping titles I can as well.

My names Kaigan Miromuta"

Wade old Pal! How the hell are you? Byron called to his old friend from the Realm. I havent seen you about the royal court recently! have things been busy? And the Drinks tonight are all on His Majesties Purse. Turning to Rose and smiling Byron Introduced the Penguin. Meet Wade the representative of Uberpenguinland. So what is a sweet charming and beautiful young woman such as yourself doing in this den of iniquity we call NSUN?

Jeremy of Cybertoria (completly plasterd on a bottle of SAKE), said "any body wana Hic!, wana Hic! go play pinball?"

Dun Dun Dun Dun Dadun Dun DaDun. The Imperial March played in the background as a small penguin waddled into the bar. "I, Echron the Midgety, am here to announce the return of Wade! That is all." Wade walked in and stated, "Neville, the rest of todays drinks are on me!".

"Another Guiness please," yelled Otterby above the general uproar following the statement of Echron the Midgety.

He then shot Jeremy in the leg with a tranquiliser dart sending him off to the land of the faery's in an instant.

"Angel i'm sure they can do food in here" Kaigan replies "and since you're droping titles I can as well.

My names Kaigan Miromuta"


"It's a pleasure. Tell me, for my curiosity, what kind of a nation yours is like? What do people do there for fun, cultural events, etc?"

Kaigan ponders and replies "Kirisubo is a very civilized and harmonious country. Even although western ways have taken hold we still remember our roots as a warrior nation. Our warrior class, the samurai are still alive and kicking and many samurai are officers in the army, navy and airforce.

we have an Emperor, which we regard as descended from the sun goddess and therefore a divine being and the ruler of the nation is the Shogun. the council of Daimyos is our parliment.

theres no crime and you could leave a wad of oban notes out on the street overnight and it would still be there in the morning.

for fun we could watch soccer, rugby union or even baseball. its seemed to have caught on for some reason. more traditional entertainments are Sumo wrestling, Kendo and Noh plays.

also when a child reaches their 16th birthday they get dressed up in their best kimono's and go through 'Gempeku'. they go to the nearest buddist or shinto temple and go through the ceremony which makes them adults"

Kaigan drinks more of his beer and then asks "whats the Empire of Galloism like then?"

Angelina Gallo ponders for a few moments. "It is very difficult to say. Inside the palace, everything was... well, Americanized. I'll do the best I can.

Mostly, I observed the nation only from a balcony or letters I recieved after personal appearances. They seem to be a very kind and happy people, but, by looking at the economic numbers, their work ethic borders on obsession. The people regularly pull 60 and 70 hour work weeks, even though the rest of the civilized world is down to 40 hours or less.

The nation used to be called the Democratic Republic of Mallinor, but my father foiled a coup attempt by a rebel insurgency, when he was Secretary of Defense. However, the coup attempt succeeded in taking out the Prime Minister, and most of his cabinet, leaving just my father and a few other cabinet members alive. Subsequently, a state of emergency was declared to eradicate the rebels, and eventually a reorganization from the Democratic Republic of Mallinor to the Empire of Galloism. My father is a hero in Galloism, the man who was able to defeat the bloodythirsty rebels, and everyone looks up to him as a role model.

As far as customs go, most have been abandoned in recent years, but one still hangs on. The art of fencing is very popular in Galloism. Even children can compete on a world scale. I, myself, am regarded as third best fencer in the entire nation, beating all but one of my brothers.

Our nation also has no crime because of the harsh penalties of committing a crime. People frequently leave their houses unlocked and keys in their vehicles, because there is no threat of theft.

Galloism's roadways are an absolute blast. We have no speed limits on country roads, and I just got a brand new Volkswagon Bugatti Veyron 16.4 (http://www.caranddriver.com/article.asp?section_id=19&article_id=10108&page_number=1) to drive on them. Daddy bought it for me. You come to my nation, and I'll take you for a ride, eh?"

"so you also maintain a dueling tradition" Kaigan remarks "i was trained from boyhood in the use of the katana. all samurai are expected to know how to use it. even my assistant, the woman in the green uniform by the bar is good with a sword"

Kaigan sighs and adds "a holiday in Galloism would be nice but theres so much to do here"

he smells the food cooking and says "i think i will get a proper meal. all i ever seem to do is eat sandwiches by my desk"

looking at the menu card on the table he says "there's quarter pounder beef burgers, the cod looks nice and i believe they do pizza as well"

Brr-brrr! Brr-brr!

It was a sound unfamiliar to most of the customers. Neville, however, had watched enough episodes of the revered historical classic, The Simpsons, to recognise it: the ring-tone of an old-fashioned telephone.

He hadn't even known the Strangers' Bar had one. But, to his surprise, a bit of rummaging under the counter produced it, still ringing. A little gingerly, he lifted the black bakelite handpiece, expecting, for some reason, to hear a demand for some prank-call-named nonentity.

"Hello? Yes, this is the Strangers' Bar. Yes, this is Neville. Who? Gurgle from Dastardly Stench? I'm sorry, he's not .. oh, you mean you're him? I mean, it's you, Gurgle?"

A revolted expression crossed his face and his nose twitched as if it were trying to escape. "Oh, yeah, it's him, all right. It's really him."

There ensued a series of incomprehensible twittering noises, at the end of which Neville turned to the by-now-interested onlookers and said, in oddly emotionless tones:

"Wanted to stay, but the portal to this realm broke down and I had to return to the Magical Realm. The portal started
sending out bolts of lightning shortly before it quit. I ended up with quite a Jolt, and now it doesn't work anymore.

I heard about the international incident, however, and am bringing it up with my government. We may be able to help with some aid, or some fuel (Dastardly Stench has vast supplies of Natural Gas), or a contingent of our Special Forces, the Silent But Deadly Brigadea, if the blasted portal ever gets going again. Until then, however, we're sidelined."

"End transmission," said Neville, and shook himself as his eyes unglazed.

“I didn’t know you could do that over the telephone,” he said, astonished. And, as his nose wrinkled reminiscently, “I didn’t know you could do that, either.”

He turned to the hovering Violet. "I think I might need some of that Guinness 39," he said, understating the situation by about three glasses.

"so you also maintain a dueling tradition" Kaigan remarks "i was trained from boyhood in the use of the katana. all samurai are expected to know how to use it. even my assistant, the woman in the green uniform by the bar is good with a sword"

Kaigan sighs and adds "a holiday in Galloism would be nice but theres so much to do here"

he smells the food cooking and says "i think i will get a proper meal. all i ever seem to do is eat sandwiches by my desk"

looking at the menu card on the table he says "there's quarter pounder beef burgers, the cod looks nice and i believe they do pizza as well"

"I'll make you a deal. If you promise to come to Galloism when you get a break, I will have my daddy buy a second Veyron, and we can race. I know the perfect place. You'll love it. It should be sufficiently long enough to reach top speed."

Angel looks at the types of Pizza available. "Would you care to split one? I don't believe I can eat an entire pizza on my own. I'm buying."

Kaigan smiles and says "i'm not sure when i can get time off from here but you've got yourself a deal and i will split a pizza. thank you Angel"

he drains his guinness 39 and orders another one.

"whats your poison?"

Jeremy after wakeing up asked Neville, "could you get me a bottle of your strongest liquer?

"I'm in the mood to try something new. My daddy never let me drink much when I was growing up, so I don't know what all's available. I usually drink scotch, mainly because that's what I could lift from his liqour cabinets. What do you suggest?"

"scotch was never my thing" Kaigan says "i'm more used to lager or sake, you can't go wrong with a cold beer"

After takeing a swig of moonshine, Jeremy asked Neville, "can you sing Karyoke"?

"Ok, lets try the Saki."

Just as she says that, her pocket starts ringing.

"Would you order the Pizza and the drink while I answer this please?"

At that, she pulls out a pair of sunglasses, puts them on, and sticks the earpiece in her ear. "This is Princess Angelina. Oh, hi daddy. Yeah, sure. Just a second."

She pulls out a pair of gloves and puts them on. She puts her right hand in front of her face, and then keys in 14 numbers on an invisible keypad. She continues speaking with her father, and starts grabbing at the air, like she's moving things around. "Well it looks good. It needs to be completely reworded, though. I'll take care of it. All right, bye daddy."

She puts everything away. "Sorry about that. Daddy is wanting to put up a resolution before the U.N. and he wanted to show it to me. Ok, now to try this Saki."

While Angel answers her call Kaigan goes to the bar and orders.

"Neville please can i have a flask of sake, three cups and a 12 inch cheese, tomato and mushroom pizza delivered to the table other there"

Pointing out Angel and Vicki-Y he leaves Neville and returns to the table.

"thats that ordered. he won't be long with it"

he sighs and says "we're never really off duty in this job. its something to get used to"

Byron sat watching the members of the bar and a very flummoxed Neville Captaining the strange ship. He couldnt get over how G39 had prooved such a success with the members with even the bartender stating a desirred preference for it. He decided to get the New Beer launched across the UN Nations and as the Guiness brewery was in libertaria the Hibernian Dollars would be rolling right in. He decided to have another G39 to celebrate this fact.
On hearing the conversation between Kaigan and angel he thought of home. Home was not the Capital city of the Realm Based in the Venerable Libertarians Nation. Home was Edifas Castle in the city of Temlar in the Hibernian Principality of Templar Crusaders. Life there was very different. Some what Spartan. Military Matters were very much to the fore from the time you were born to the time you Die. Every citizen of Templar crusaders were expected to serve the Nations Military and the Prince. Even the companies working out of the Nation did so under government military contracts. Byron had himself spent the entirity of his life in military Academy and then served the Nations Naval service all the way to being the captain of his own Ship. He Adored being a ships captain and was reluctant when he had to give it when he rose through the ranks finally becoming an Admiral. He then became First Lord of the Admiralty for the Region and controlled the Navy of all the realms Nations. When His father The Prince died Byron ascended to the Throne and Now was Prince Esheram the first, Lord and Master of the Hibernian Principality of Templar Crusaders. This however is not the pinicle of the Princes carreer. As the only surviving Relative of King James the First, King of the Venerable Libertarians, Byron was now Prince Regent for the Realm.
"What ever would the future hold" he wondered and then spying Violet hovering by, he ordered his G39.

"So true. I'm sorry about that. Daddy can be so inconsiderate at times."

Angelina sips the Sake. "Hmm, this is... different."

"So, tell me, what is your family like? I'm curious how different it is in a normal family."

Jeremy asked Neville, "can you sing Karyoke"?
"No, Jer, I canNOT sing karaoke. Nor can you!" Neville snapped.

Then, realising that it was like kicking a puppy, leapt in with, "...when your voice is so important. You don't want to risk it in an atmosphere like this. I mean, when Hodgelett's gone to all that trouble to set up a recording contract, and when the producers are so impressed they insist on signing you up straight away ..."

Continuing his soothing gabble, Neville dealt expeditiously with the orders flying in. Should he continue supplying fast food to all these vulnerable delegates? Was it ethical to help them on their way to heart attacks, blood pressure problems, who knows what?

Ahh, the ... heck ... with ethics! (Neville was concentrating this week on cleaning up his internal monologues).

Delivering Otterby's Guinness, he took the opportunity to pick the sozzled delegate's pocket and relieve him of the tranquiliser gun. He was going to program the da ... the wretched thing into the Acme Disarmer by hand, if necessary. It was a bloo ... a terrible nuisance having to find somewhere to dump droves of drowsy diplomats.

Years of practice made it easy to slide through the crowd while balancing a tray of glasses in one hand and pushing a trolley of drinks with the other. Stopping beside Jason, he slipped the Euroslavian delegate a platter of gourmet goodies that he'd had the dining-room staff prepare.

"With real gratitude," Neville said, sotto voce. He'd actually promised Jase free drinks any time he dropped by, but, with both Byron and Wade buying drinks for all, it would have been a rather meaningless gesture. He hoped most sincerely that Jason wouldn't drown the treat in that red sauce. Of course, to do so he'd first have to persuade Moltan to give it up, and the Gruenberger didn't give up easily ...

Smiling, Neville glanced round the Bar, assuring himself that matters were going well. Angel and Kaigan were interacting for all they were worth, while Byron had set up a primary defence against Rose by hauling Wade into the conversation. But Giordano ... oh, dear. For the first time in Neville's entire acquaintance with him, The Black New World's delegate was stalking away from the Bar. He must be upset!

Can't let him go out in that state, Neville told himself, doing his level best to steer the drinks trolley on a path that would intersect Giordano's, while still keeping the tray in perfect balance.

Kaigan smiles and says "i'm not sure what a normal family is myself. my family are all samurai.

my father passed on a few years ago but my mother is still around. she's looking after all her grandchildren, all six of them.

my younger brother Saruji is a civil servant and so is my younger sister Keiko. I'm the only who folowed my father into the forces full time.

other than our samurai status we grew up like any Kirisuban family. our mother teaching us right and wrong, my father when he was there teaching us bushido and the way of the sword.

someday i'll have to settle down and cary on the family line but i don't think an army life is fair on children. I barely seen my father because he was always at work"

he sips at his sake and shrugs his shoulders.

he sees Neville approach with the pizza and and says "looks like dinners ready"

Stephanie Fulton entered the Bar. She wondered how long she'd be staying this time. Having a quick glance around, she recognised a few people - Byron, Jeremy, and of course Neville.

She approached the Barlord, and said, "You know my favourite, Neville. It's good to be back. How's Violet Bracket?"

Angelina smiled. "So, you're not married eh?"

"Interesting." she mutters almost to herself.

"Well my family was far from anything remotely resembling normal. Being that our father's Empire is due to be inherited by the eldest surviving son, many of them did not survive. It was always disturbing to watch my brothers plot against one another, while at the same time trying to avoid being killed themselves. The whole thing was disgusting. Eventually, Daddy split all the boys up into different castles, schools, etc to stop the bloodshed. Women, of course, do not have the opportunity to inherit the empire, so I was spared the violence."

Angelina carefully picks the mushrooms off her pizza.

"So, in Kirisubo, diplomatic relations are a function of the army?"

Mathieu was jolted from a deep reverie by a tap on the shoulder. He looked around to see a widely grinning Varia.

"Cheer up, Mat. You're officially on holiday, as of now."

They hugged briefly and Varia perched on the stool to Mathieu's left.

"You eaten?"

"No, the smell of dolphin's been putting me off, in truth."

"Ah. Well, it's my treat. Call it a thank you for manning the fort in my absence. Besides, I want to bore you to tears with reminiscences of my time off, so the least I could do is get you fed.

Neville - a menu and a bottle of Mat's favourite red, please."

She looked around, drinking in the atmosphere.

"Good to be back!"

"Varia! Mathieu! Haven't seen you for ages!" Stephanie called as she approached the Ecopoeians. "How have things been? You're not still delegates, are you? I managed to get The Black New World to do that in our region."

Giordano sighed as Neville came towards him. It had never been this hard for Des. Although she looked significantly better in corsetry. But - he reasoned- he did have the nicer arse. People were constantly complementing him on it. And of course the PVC mini skirt made him near ir…

Damn. He'd let his mind wonder off too far. Now Neville was staring at him blankly.

'Yeah. Nev. Hi. How you doing mate?'

Hodgelett started from her reverie. She'd obviously been very rude and mentally switched off. Slowly she went over the conversation in her mind...something about legislation...no...not how the Commission proposes it in wherewasit?...customer....customs...taxes! "Oh that! Right yes, the Principality of Ausserland's delegate messaged me. Not sure if I still have it..."
She took out her ever-handy electronic lifesaver and scrolled through her messages. "Here it is!"
"Greetings. Someone just pointed out in the UN Old Guard debate that they didn't think you'd ever received an answer to the question you posed during the "Representation in Taxation" debate. I had meant to answer it, but forgot. Sorry. Let me try now, in case you're still interested.

The resolution was drafted by the delegate from Powerhungry Chipmunks to very carefully avoid anything that had to do with international trade. Why? Because it seems he had tried to get a similar proposal passed some time before, but people objected to it interfering with trade restrictions and free trade measures.

So, what the proposal did was to limit itself completely to domestic taxation. This was a decision made solely to help the proposal's chances of passage and keep it from getting bogged down in debate about protectionism vs. free trade. It left all international taxation/tarrif issues just as they were. I had some reservations about that, but hey! It was his proposal, not mine."
She espied a flashing cursor in the corner with an 'attention' flag. "Oh great. Even more paperwork to be done before the end of the fortnight. No rest for the wicked."

26-09-2005, 11:30 AM #269

The Yeldan ambassador enters the establishment and makes his way to the bar. He immediately discerns that the topic of conversation is cheese, specifically Vastivan Cheddar, a matter of some importance to the Yeldan government.
"Ah, Vastivan Cheddar! A world class cheese if ever there was one. I'll have a wedge of that and a pint of Guinness, please."

"So that's where you've been? Sitting in the Strangers' Bar, drinking and eating cheese since September."

<turns to address the other patrons of the bar>

"Tonight, the drinks are on Yelda. And Fine Yeldan Cheeses™ for everyone!"

"You must allow me to buy you a drink," replied Moltan Bausch. "Here's to the first of two: bigger 'fish' to fry yet."

OOC: Ho ho ho. Ho.

"Thank you, Moltan, thank you! My name is Quynn, by the way."

"A pleasure. Can't say I come here that often. Still, I'll always celebrate a great victory."

"Varia! Mathieu! Haven't seen you for ages!" Stephanie called as she approached the Ecopoeians. "How have things been? You're not still delegates, are you? I managed to get The Black New World to do that in our region."
Varia supped daintily from her - oh, my: tannins! - glass of red and sighed with exaggerated relief.

"No, we handed over to the Tavast-Carelians nearly a month ago. I've been on holiday since, catching up with the family and touring Syrtis - that's one of our smaller islands. Populated mostly by survivalists, primitivists, spiritualists and smugglers, as far as I could tell. It's quirky even by Ecopoeian standards. Poor Mathieu here has been running the show while I've been away. I'm assuming you haven't done anything silly, Mat?"

There was the merest, faintest edge to the question that made Mathieu wince.

"Well... I may have put across the impression to some delegates that Ecopoeia would be leaving the UN."

To her credit, Varia maintained a perfectly neutral expression.

"But, but..." Mathieu stammered, wishing that he hadn't already drunk half a bottle of wine, "it all blew over and things are fine now. I think."

"Well, that's good. Ay, uh," her voice dropped to a whisper, "new additions to the Old Guard?"

Stephanie whisered back. Varia's control visibly slipped.

"Oh. How... lovely. I don't suppose there's any possibility of inviting nations of a non-sociopathic bent in future, hmm?"

The Represeinitive from Anagonia sighs, still drinking a drink that he had been drinking for a long time now. Was it him, or did everyone want to repeal everything that actually made sense to Anagonia? Well, at least the Republic Senate had the final ruling on Resoultions in the Nation, and that was a good thing considering most of the Represinitives popping up he hadn't heard of before.

He looked around, perhaps there was someone to talk to?

"Hey, anyone want to talk about Diplomatic stuff?"

Hey Neville? Could you order me up 20 lbs. of deep fried chicken?

Kaigan tucks into a slice of pizza and replies "not usually. i have no idea why i was selected as our UN ambassador. i was content to be the liason officer to the Gatesville milita.

however my government thought otherwise and send me an Imperial Airforce Captain as an assistant. maybe they think she can double as my pilot"

he then takes another sip of sake and adds "in Kirisubo women can inherit the Imperial throne. Crown Princess Fujiko is the heir. we've had quite a few Empresses over the last 400 years and our sucession is bloodless"

"That's commendable. My brothers are just ambitious, I guess. It's only logical that if the eldest surviving son gets the throne, that you want to be the eldest, even to the point of eliminating anyone who stands between you and that designation."

Angelina sips her Sake and takes a small bite of the pizza.

"It's a pity that none of them are fit to be a ruler over anything larger than a lemonade stand." Angelina chuckles at her own joke.

"Honestly, though. I have no idea how it would work out if any of those cretins came to power. Most likely, they would take everything my father grabbed, and lose control nearly instantly, leading to total anarchy. Of course, that's just my opinion."

After a moment, she adds, "What do you think of having a female ruler?"

"theres no reason why an empress couldn't do the job better than an emperor. Given that women are smarter and more practical usually means they'll be a better ruler" Kaigan replies "i'm sure we'll have a female Shogun some day. all samurai are equal regardless of sex."

he eats more of his half of the pizza, drinks more sake and adds "off course in Kirisubo the power lies with the Shogun, the Taiko and the council of Daimyo's. their Imperial majesty is more of an example to the nation that a ruler. they guide the spiritual life of the nation and set an example that the people can look up to"

"So, you've never had a female Shogun? Interesting."

Angelina reaches for a second piece.

"Switching subjects for a moment. I've noticed, by your description, that your society is very martial arts oriented."

She pauses for a moment, not quite sure how to ask.

"Does your nation have freelance paramilitary groups that can be bought? Hypothetically, that could be very useful to have a freelance unconnected fighting team that you could simply hire to do special jobs."

(OOC: Yes, thinking of Ninjas~ I like Ninjas~)

Kaigan ponders and replies "we have ninja clans but i've never heard of them accepting contracts outside Kirisubo before. they are master spies, assasins and past masters at stealth warfare.

to be honest they haven't had much to do over the last 4 centuries but they are prized members of the defence forces. they make up our commando groups in the regular army.

assuming you knew how to hire one of these freelance individuals they probally would stick out outside their homeland"

"I was thinking about maybe 2 dozen of them. Would you know how to get in touch with that many? I have deep pockets."

Daddy

"daddy?" *said Adaine scathingly annoyed that stephine hadn't mentioned him. he may have threatened to poison her but at least he had been civil.*

"i can make enquires for you. theres bound to be some samurai-officers i know that can make contact with them" Kaigan says "once i know something i'll send you an e-mail"

finishing of another section of pizza he asks "how does the empire of Galloism view the NSUN? would they be pro, anti or neutral?"

"daddy?" *said Adaine scathingly annoyed that stephine hadn't mentioned him. he may have threatened to poison her but at least he had been civil.*

OOC: Huh?

IC:

"We fullfill all our obligations to the NSUN. Daddy, of course, has a whole platoon of lawyers working on the resolutions he doesn't like, looking for loopholes, but I assume that's normal for any government."

Angelina finishes her Sake and reaches for a third slice.

"Ironic really." Angelina mutters to herself.

Kaigan smiles slightly and says "in the short time i've been here i've discovered the easiest way to way to stop a bad proposal is to catch it at the drafting stage.

a lot of the stupid ones get filtered out that way and the ones which threaten national sovereignty can also have teeth extracted at this stage.

when a delegate wants broad support they'll consult a lot of delegates. theres your chance to steer the proposal your way.

if it never makes quorum you won't need a platoon of lawyers looking it after it passes.

would you say that your father likes to keep his national sovereignty as intact as possible? a lot of nations think that and they're labeled 'anti-UN' but that's just because they don't vote with the rest of the sheep"

As the inauguration ritual of the newly installed Shrine to the Manifestation of the Eternal Kawaii wound slowly down, the contingent of otaku slowly filed out the bar, singing and chanting in fine bad karaeoke form. The UN Nuncio and the Happiness Police captain stayed behind, as the chief HOCEK diplomat spied Varia entering the bar.

"Welcome, welcome, my dear!" the priest said, smiling broadly as he walked over to the Ecopoeian delegate. "It's good to see you again."

Pointing to the ornate, wooden birdhouse-like objet d'art now perched in its place of honor at the end of the bar, he added, "What do you think our new addition to the place? Worthy of the Cute One's Manifestation here, or what?"

Varia was somewhat taken aback. How did I miss that?

"It's... ah..."

Words were failing her. She simulated a cough to buy time.

"Excuse me. Um, it's... charming. Yes, charming. Really quite sweet. Place needed a good freshening up and what better than, um, a... er... one of those?" she finished, lamely. She sighed and took the plunge.

"Lovely as it is, I can't help but wonder... what is it?"

Ye gods, the otaku are still here, Stephanie thought to herself. And now they're building... things.

Looking around, she noticed a few others she recognised. Hodgelett was there, as was... oh. Adaine. Ah well, no time like the present for burying hatchets.

Approaching the representative from Avarhierrim, she said, "Adaine, I see you're still here. Coming back to the UN makes me feel generous. Have an Ennish shandy on my tab, if you please.
"That reminds me. Neville? Where's my drink got to?"

"I'll keep that in mind. It seems there's alot of proposals out there that make no sense, and have loopholes you could fly a tank transport through."

She sips the long island iced tea that was just brought.

"I guess we are "anti-UN" by definition, but I really don't see it that way. We just don't want to be assimilated into another government. We have no problem with being a UN member, however.

Byron sat back relaxed and calm. After the recent repeal of PODA was accepted by the General Assembly he mused on the other resolution he wanted repealed. Indeed it would be more difficult. He picked up his Communicator and dialled.
" UN Delegation for the Realm of Hibernia, How may I assist you?" answered the receptionist at the Delegatory Offices. "Hi Sable, Its Esheram here put me through to Sofia Grey.
Receptionist: Absolutely you’re Majesty.
-Pause followed by a ring tone-
Lady Sofia Grey: Sophia Grey, Assistant to the Chief Negotiator
Prince Byron: Hi Sophie, Its Esheram here, what times do I have Available next week for Dinner Meetings?
Lady Sofia Grey: Tuesday and Thursday you are free at that time after that you are to return Home for a meeting of the High Council. Next available is the following Wednesday.
Prince Byron: Hmm, ok can you contact the Delegations for the Yeldan UN Mission, OMGTKK, and our other allies regarding the repeal of 70 and arrange a Dinner Meeting at the Hibernian Delegatory Residence. Also if you contact the UNOG, Then contact the caterers and be sure the various regional delicacies are on the menu for our guests. It will be a working Dinner so ensure the staff are prepared.
Lady Sofia Grey: I’m Already on it.
Prince Byron: Excellent. I'll catch you later so.
Lady Sofia Grey: Bye Your majesty.

Byron ended the transmission and thought of Sophie. She was indeed an excellent assistant and arranged his time and events with remarkable efficiency. Byron smiled at the fact that even though he was always informal with his staff everyone still addressed him by his title. Oh well, he sighed always uncomfortable with his own birthright.
The Importance of having resolutions 106 and 70 repealed was immense. UNCoESB would not be complete until it had total control of the UN Wildlife. Thus the Gathering of minds over dinner.
Swallowing down another gulp of the pint of G39 that was in front of him he looked around the bar. That Adaine character was an odd sort. He laughed at the point that he was supposed to be a trained Assassin yet was so odd lurking around he actually drew attention to himself. Of course there was Stephanie of Enn being her usual diplomatic self.
Yes it was a case of same old same old for the Strangers Bar.

Hows it been Byron? Order anything you want, its all on me, I'll pick up the tab.

Kaigan sips more sake and replies "my government feels the same way but other nations in my region feel even more anti-un than others. you could say that we are moderates hence us being here rather than other nations from my region."

he finishes another slice of pizza and feeling content with life he catches Midori trying to talk to the downcast delegate propping up the bar.

[QUOTE=Enn]Looking around, she noticed a few others she recognised. Hodgelett was there, as was... oh. Adaine. Ah well, no time like the present for burying hatchets.
Approaching the representative from Avarhierrim, she said, "Adaine, I see you're still here. Coming back to the UN makes me feel generous. Have an Ennish shandy on my tab, if you please.
QUOTE]

"thank you, as for threatening to poison you, I've been informed that you foriegners don't have immunities from poisons from birth as we do, very foolish. but in Avarhierrim poisoning someone or their worker would be an insult but not a death threat.

now thank you for the drink and we'll call this a truce, I need all my energies for making Gallosiom mad, juvenile i no, but what else is there to do?"

Neville could hand me a scotch?

Neville could hand me a scotch?
Indeed he could, But i recon you would be more content with a Guinness 39! Neville, 2 G39's please and its on the Cybertorians tab.
Now Jeremy, What other drinks could Neville give us? :D

"Lovely as it is, I can't help but wonder... what is it?"

This, of course, was possibly a mistake on Varia's part, as the otaku hadn't finished filing out yet, and the yellow-clad priest from the Conclave of Beauty who had first measured out the space for the shrine overheard the fateful question. He immediately regaled the Ecopoeian delegate with a long and involved story of the history of spirit-houses in the Eternal Kawaii, their transition from simple open spaces devoted to the powers of nature to their adoption as residences of Manifestations of the Eternal Kawaii as HOCEK doctrine had evolved over the centuries.

Some of it was actually comprehensible, though it was noticeable that even the Nuncio had to feign interest (and wakefulness) through it.

The horror. Mathieu felt its tendrils coil around his psyche, devour his soul, bleed him of any desire to carry on living. He'd only wanted a quiet drink before heading off on a well-deserved break from this infernal institution. So close... and now he was a broken man.

Mathieu suffered from merely being within earshot of the priest's ramblings. Varia, directly in the line of fire, clung to her sanity as a drowning woman would a raft. A broken, mouldering raft. Constructed from wood slightly denser than water. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the priest, whose own eyes were consumed with devotion and delirious conviction. Hypnotic, pitiless, terrifying.

Would anyone save them?

Indeed he could, But i recon you would be more content with a Guinness 39! Neville, 2 G39's please and its on the Cybertorians tab.
Now Jeremy, What other drinks could Neville give us? :D

Probaly something to even make you have a hangover.

Would anyone save them?
Rose sprung into action, dialling a very long number into her phone.

'Urm Des. You know like you said I could ring you if I needed help… no I don't know what the time difference is between us… I just need… well it's the Ecopoeians… hot coffee? Wouldn't that burn…Oh well no there's no time for that… behind the bar? Yeah, Giordano is distracting Neville'

A few seconds later Mathieu and Varia were soaked in larger.

'Now, Byron, where was I?'

Byron stood tall, a friendly smile on his face delighted that Rose was still around. It wasnt often a woman brightened the bar with radiant good looks. Lady Grey was Pretty, Varia and Stephanie and even Nevilles right hand woman, Violet were Pretty. Yet there was something very different about Rose. Byron couldnt put a finger on what it was exactly and then noticed He wasnt the only one attracted to Rose. Jeremy, Otterby, Holt, and the strange Adaine had closed in around them as if just waiting to be commented to by Rose.
Byron turned to Rose and asked, "So do tell me about your self Rose. I am intreagued."

'Well,' Rose blushed and took a seat, 'I'm from New Manchester - like most of us - my father taught Queen Rosalind at university… when they started the revolution. He died in the uprising so I got given a job. Well not then. I was only 13. So… I spilt larger on myself didn't I?'

Hey Neville pour a round of whatever the everybody wants, and put it on my tab, the drinks are all on me.

"Judging by their dripping attire, I'd have said the drinks were all on Mathieu and Varia," Neville observed.

"Would you say that your inability to resist obvious puns is your worst character fault?" hissed Violet.

"No," the Barlord answered sadly. "My worst character fault is my inability to keep my mouth shut."

Indeed it was, he reflected. Things had been going so well just then -- he'd draped a friendly arm over the bemused Giordano's shoulder and was steering him back to the bar -- when he had noticed exactly what the amiable diplomat was wearing, and had said the words that no friend should say to another:

"Y'know, mate, actually ... your butt does look big in that."

Rose sighed apologetically and ran after Giordano who was hiding in the toilets.

"Gi?"

"Quick give me your pants."

"No."

"I order you to give me your pants."

"You can't do that."

"I will have you assassinated."

'Technically imposable. Assassination is 'the violent deaths of royalty and seriously prominent members of society, such as political or religious leaders. Everyone else is murdered or killed.'"

"Pants!"

Sometime later Rose returned to Byron wearing Giordano's tweed pants which, although mismatching with her black corseted business jacket, did not make her bum look big.

"Byron, if I say 'now were was I' again do I get a free drink."

Giordano followed sometime later. The narrator declines to comment on how he looked in Rose's leather trousers as he walked towards Neville. His Bum was not an issue.

"So. What do you think?"

Hey Neville pour a round of whatever the everybody wants, and put it on my tab, the drinks are all on me.

Angelina Gallo yells at Neville. "Give me a Guiness 39, and a scotch on the rocks for each of my body guards. That's all right with you guys right?"

The body guards look at each other, and then the left one speaks up, "Ma'am, we're not allowed to drink on the job."

Angelina turns to them and says, "Nonsense. Drink up. You've had a rough day."

Kaigan manages a small smile and then his cell phone goes off.

he answers and breaks into a gutteral language while he nods his head. he listens for about a minute, replies and then adds "Qapla" to end the conversation.

"sorry about that Angelina, Khalar the Ambassador from Hok-Tu wanted to know if i wished to go targ hunting with her. they're not a UN nation yet but a good ally of Kirisubo. lets say she's not your normal ambassador"

"So. What do you think?"

"Stunning, mate, stunning!" said Neville, who had been skimming through Dictionary.com in his spare moments in order to learn synonyms for 'cute'. Even thinking the word made him look uneasily towards the Shrine of the Manifestation.

"It's so much more subtle than your PVC mini-skirt," the Barlord continued approvingly. "Though, to tell you the truth, I've always imagined you in black velvet. Restrained, you know. Aristocratic. Gentle, yet with a core of steel."

This did not seem the moment to mention what other Bar habitues (and habituees) Neville had imagined in black velvet. Dicey, for example. Violet. Byron wouldn't look bad in it, either. Rose's soft ambiguity in the masculine tweeds was alluring, too.

His glance slid to Hodgelett, annihilating all thoughts of black velvet in the usual monitory blast of the figure robed in white, standing with drawn and flaming sword athwart the gates of Paradise.

Recognising the mood he was about to fall into, Neville wrenched his thoughts away, pausing only for a restorative image of Hodgelett as a Renaissance boy-prince. Life was Sterne, life was Ernest -- and there were bodyguards in the Bar!

He beckoned unobtrusively to Angelina. "Delegates usually park their bodyguards in the other room, with the poker machines," he explained. "They love all the pretty colours and the bright lights. And the music, of course. Even the Bahgumian Mothers-In-Law have been known to look happy there. And if anybody should get confused and shoot a machine, well, we can always get another."

He wasn't sure if he was getting through to her. Perhaps she was worried about personal safety?

"See, you can't get killed or seriously injured in the Bar," he explained. "The Acme Time-Line Turner I personally installed will instantly return you to a time 10 seconds before the happening happened, as it were. Then we hustle you to safety and deal with the miscreant. Who isn't a miscreant, because the event hasn't actually happened, but there you go.

"And you can't get kidnapped, because the exits and entrances admit only genuine freeload -- genuine drinkers bent on relaxation, folk of peaceful intent, underhand wheelers and dealers, ego-driven poseurs, pseudo-diplomats of dubious reputation, psychotic dictators, manipulative public servants, and the like."

He smiled reassuringly.

"So you see, nothing bad could possibly happen to you here."

An elderly man wearing a brown trenchcoat and a worn leather hat
walks into the bar. He is also carrying a diplomatic pouch with the
symbol of the Marianetonian nation on it. When he reaches the
bar, he removes his hat and coat, showing a greyed head of hair
and an obese frame, and opens the pouch.

From within it, he removes a blue robe with a pattern of crescent
moons on it, and a pointed cap printed in the same pattern.
Finally, a foot-long silver platter emerges from the pouch. The
man then dons the cap and robe, sets the platter on the floor,
spindles his hands under his bearded chin and begins to softly
chant something unintelligable.

After a moment, the platter begins to glow. Not long after that,
the man in the robes spreads his arms. As he does, a glowing
sphere emerges from within the platter. The sphere rises a few
feet above the platter and begins to grow in size and intensity.
The man steps back from it as it grows. Soon, it is roughly
forty feet long.

The man shouts something that sounds vaguely like "fetor!"
The glowing sphere turns green and disintigrates with a loud,
flatulent noise, leaving in its place Gurgle the Dragon, Ambassador
Aromatus from the Dominion of Dastardly Stench.

Something is different about Gurgle this time, though. The
small thread of green smoke that used to constantly flow from
his hindquarters is now somehow missing. It is entirely possible
that the dragon, hearing that some magic can be made to
work in this realm, has had a Spell of Daintiness cast upon his
large and formerly flatulent body.

Having examined himself and now being sure that the spell
is holding--for now--Gurlge sighs contentedly.

"Thank you, Rumblerump," he says. The mage, already having
placed his robes and platter back in the diplomatic pouch,
holds up a hand to acknowledge Gurgle on his way back out
the door. He opens the door and walks through it. Nobody
on the other side sees him--they see only the door closing.

Gurgle walks carefully back to the bartender.

"Thanks to the kind intervention of Marionetonia, I'm back," he says.
"Could I get another keg of ale, please?"

--------------------------------------------------------

OOC:

The Dominion of Dastardly Stench cannot post to this forum--
for whatever reason. Therefor, Marionetonia is posting for them.
As the two nations are "owned" by the same person, Marionetonia
cannot join the UN; however, it posts for DDS.

Angelina Gallo looks at Kaigan for a moment, and then speaks:

"Ok, I bloody well know I shouldn't ask, but I'm going to. What do you mean by 'not your normal ambassador'?"

Kaigan smiles and says "i've known Khalar since we started joint wargames between Kirisubo and Hok-Tu. I was the army liason during said wargames and she was my counterpart.

she's a commander in the defence forces, loves a traditional Targ hunt and i've seen her backhand quite a few grown males in her time. Despite her small size she projects a lot of confidence and power.

and she beat me in sword duel once"

'Oh… Black velvet?' Giordano muttered as Neville walked away, 'Black… black… black velvet…'

Of course Giordano could wear his official dress (although, unfortunately, not an actual dress, all those came in PVC) or his dashing worn and faded velvet suit, or the one his mum made him wear to Aunty Pats wedding, or the one with the silver spider web embroidered onto the lapel, or… well you get the idea.

But Giordano didn't rush to change. He decided, instead, to leap over the bar and kiss Neville. Or at least drunkenly attempt to suck his intestines out through his mouth. Afterwards he found himself strangely dizzy - probably from lack of oxygen - and passed out on the floor.

'What?' said Rose innocently to Byron, 'he can sort that out on his own. It's just that… well black velvet has aphrodisiac qualities to Black New Worldians.'

Dripping with lager - a drink Mathieu regarded as more ghastly than anything he could imagine - the Ecopoeian delegates roused from their fearful stupors.

"I think this is my cue to go on holiday." Mathieu muttered. Varia nodded. They embraced awkwardly and Mathieu left for his office, grateful that he had a change of clothing. Not that the UN 'showers' would be much use.

In a splendid example of convenient time manipulation, Varia managed to get herself washed and changed and back in the Bar in time to catch Giordano's episode. She looked down at her new attire, an elegant black evening dress with velvet trim: entirely inappropriate for the usually rough and ready Strangers' Bar. Damn the UN's broken launderette, she thought, frowning, and decided to be wary around the Black New Worlders in case anything else untoward might take place.

"So you see, nothing bad could possibly happen to you here.""I Dunno! Ive tried your Venusian Chile. My arse was in tatters for about a week after that!" :D

'What?' said Rose innocently to Byron, 'he can sort that out on his own. It's just that… well black velvet has aphrodisiac qualities to Black New Worldians.'Byron was dressed as Usual in his two Piece suit. Black Nerhu style 3/4 lenght coat made of the finest Edmundiarian Silk. Royal Blue satin Shirt, Double Cuffed fastened with solid silver cuff links with the insignia of the Principality of the Templar Crusaders. Gold silk tie and trousers to match his coat. Edmundarian Silk however was reknowned by its Matt qualities making the black look darker.
On a shorter man this attire could look too much but Byrons athletic build and 6ft 2inched height suited the style.
Byron had always detested velvet. The drapes in the castle he grew up in were blood red velvet and they had adorned virtualy every window in the castle making it look dark and forboding. When his father passed on one of the first things the new Prince did was to get a team of designers to give the castle a more modern and homely look. The Prince's castle now from the outside had the charm of its Gothic design but within its walls had the chic of a designer Penthouse.
Byron started to feel a little home sick. "Neville, Lets Keep the G39's flowing old pal, I have an incling for home that needs quelling!"

"Neville, Lets Keep the G39's flowing old pal, I have an incling for home that needs quelling!"

Rose lent over and caressed Byron's arm.

"Oh sweetheart. Is there anything I can do?"

She didn't really know where this rush of empathy had come from. Or why on earth she enjoyed just touching the man's arm so much. She was certain that she hadn't touched the stuff on Giordano's drinks trolley.

Stephanie looked around, scanning the crowd. While she and Adaine had made their peace, she didn't exactly feel like taliking to him.

She saw Byron, with a young lady hanging off his arm. She looked vaguely familiar, perhaps someone Steph had met in a delegation at some point. But those pants, they looked very familiar indeed...

She strode over, and addressed the woman. "Who are you, and why are you wearing Giordano's trousers?"

Edward awoke to the noise of very odd conversations and decided to lift his head up from the bar. Surveying the scene and keeping in mind that he had heard something about Giordano's trousers, Edward decided to play it safe and go back to sleep.

'Rose. The Black New World new girl. And he wanted to chat up Neville. Long story. He's unconscious behind the bar if you want to talk to him about it.'

And somehow, during this conversation, she had managed to sit on the arm of Byron's chair with her arms around him. She was really certain that she hadn't touched the stuff on Giordano's drinks trolley

*Adaine was bored and decided to flick peas at people*

Hey Neville wana join me in a game of pool?

Deftly taking back his tranquiliser dart gun from Neville, Otterby turned to Jeremy and cheerfully said, "I can't play pool, but if you'd prefer snooker, I'd be more than happy."

Then with a glint in his eye, he pulled up a cue and cue ball out of nowhere and turned with a flourish towards the table and confidently walked past Jeremy.

"What the hell is snooker?" Jeremy said?

Otterby's face fell in disbelief.

"You've never heard of snooker," he asked faintly, "by god..."

He paused, swigged his Guinness and tried to explain.

"Someone explain to the man," he proclaimed, "I can't bring myself to speak I'm so shocked."

"Pool?" Stephanie was astounded at the suggestion. "Somewone wants to play pool? I'd certainly be interested.
"But I should point out that I am the current champion of the Strangers' Bar Pool Championships," she added, pointing to the coveted trophy suspended above the pool table.

Rose lent over and caressed Byron's arm.

"Oh sweetheart. Is there anything I can do?"

She didn't really know where this rush of empathy had come from. Or why on earth she enjoyed just touching the man's arm so much. She was certain that she hadn't touched the stuff on Giordano's drinks trolley.
The Sudden outburst of care was startling at first. Byron was immediatly shocked out of any pining for home. The Strangers Bar was more reknowned for its apathy rather tan its empathy. Byron Smiled. "What the Hell" he said Loudly and Gripped rose in a Pashionate Embrace. What seemed forever had lasted but seconds. There was A Hushed silence as the embrace ended. The bars Madding crowd standing awestruck at what just happened.

Then with a glint in his eye, he pulled up a cue and cue ball out of nowhere "Was that a Cue and CueBall in youre pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?" Byron Quipped at his compadrian Friend.

Please tell me what the **** snooker means????

The yellow-clad otaku from the Conclave of Beauty finished his dissertation on the History of Spirit-Houses in the Eternal Kawaii, oblivious to the fact that the Ecopoeian delegation had long since fled for their lives and the Nuncio was deep in conversation, or trying to appear as such, with Neville over some point regarding the newly installed shrine. At the mention of the words "pool" and "snooker", his eyes lit up, and wandering over towards Stephanie and Jeremy, he said with smile, "This place has a billiards table? And here they were telling me there was nothing here but vice and savagery. You know, I've always been fascinated by the geometry of billiards; it's a wonderful example of applied physics..."

And he was off again. Somewhere in the priest's rambling discourse was a request to join the game, if one were on.

Hakim walked into the bar weeks after that fateful encounter with Bridgette.

The same words kept ringing in his ears every waking minute for the last several weeks like a death knell for his only glimmer of hope of ever finding her:

"We do not have a Bridgette working here in the Pallatium embassy..." The words kept repeating over and over.

It was as if his angel had disappeared from his life as quickly as she had appeared. He moves slowly to the bar and finds the spot where his life had changed the moment Bridgette stepped into it.

He fought back the tears as he sat all alone at the bar. He felt like he had aged an eternity since that night. His mind went through the list of accomplishments since becoming ambassador for the UN: his nation founding a flourishing region, the proposal of several new resolutions (albeit all failed), the growth of his nation from 5 million to over 100 million people, the list went on and on. But somehow, despite it all, his accomplishments all seemed meaningless without her. He was broken and incomplete. For the first time in his life, he had no answers.

The bartender approached him and took his order.

"Whiskey sour," he replied as he fumbled through his pockets for a pack of cigarettes.

Maybe, just maybe, he thought, that if I do it all over the same way, she'll come back to me.

"Was that a Cue and CueBall in youre pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?" Byron Quipped at his compadrian Friend.

"Oh Byron, I'm always pleased to see you," Otterby replied to his loyal Hibernian ally. ;) :p

"Screw the snooker, or whatever the hell it is lets just played a good old fasion game of pool." Said Jeremy of Cybertoria.

seeing the delgate from Vitalinia enter the bar Midori Kasigi could sense the black cloud over his head.

the assistant to the Kirisuban ambassador had settled in well here. she had already got to know Neville and Violet fairly well as well as the regular bar flies who came here to kick back after a hard day at the office.

now out of her airforce uniform and wearing a more comfortable green silk kimono she relaxed over a meal of rice and prawns. her long black hair was tied up in a single pony tail and the young woman smiled at the delegate as he arrived at the bar.

"whats wrong?" she asks him

Hakim turned his head and saw the pretty young woman in the green kimono who had just sat next to him at the bar.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I'll leave you alone if you want," she softly replied.

"No, it's alright," Hakim said. "I could actually use a friend right about now."

"My name is Midori," she said. "I'm the assistant to the ambassador of Kirisubo."

"Ah yes," Hakim replied. "Your ambassador is a good man. He was one of Vitalinia's supporters in our bid to repeal Resolution #81 when I first started working here... My goodness, that feels like an eternity ago. But anyways, my name is Hakim. I'm a delegate from Vitalinia."

"You seem so sad," Midori said. "Please tell me what's the matter."

"It's that obvious, huh?" Hakim said, embarrassed. "I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"It's alright," she answered. "If all you need is a friend, I'm here to listen."

"I met an angel here several weeks ago," Hakim began. "Her name was Bridgette. We spent a wonderful night together and when I woke up, she was gone... as if she had never been in my life. The bartender told me that she might have worked at the Pallatium embassy. But when I inquired about her, they told me that there was no Bridgette that had ever been at their embassy..."

Hakim looked down at his drink. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and the lump in his throat that hindered him from speaking without releasing all the emotion inside of him. The only thing that kept him from going over the edge was the kind, young woman sitting next to him, sharing in his sorrows.

Midori listens intently and orders a green tea to go with her meal.

"Hakim san, maybe she'll turn up again" she says quietly "what else have you been up to here?

Kaigan sama has me drafting a repeal proposal. thats been keeping up both busy for a good while and he's also involved in the diplomatic efforts in Kilani"

she smiles, drinks some of her tea and says "i knew this job wasn't going to be easy but Kaigan sama loves it here despite the hard work"

pointing out a woman with two body guards she adds "he's the one in the blue uniform sharing the pizza and sake with that ambassador and her bodyguards.

he's now a regional delegate, so he'll be even busier than usual"

The UN diplomat for the United Socialist States of Assatru sat down at the table and looked over his notes. He was to review all the resolutions passed by the United Nations and see if he could find a way to get dismiss ones that did not go against the socialist appeal of his government. What a tough job Igov Vonrich had. And since English wasn't his first language, he would have to use a dictionary for some words. (OOC: Just kidding)

He returned to his notes, the man was probably not going to be noticied in the bar in his plain gray suit and black tie. Hopefully, no one would notice him.

"Screw the snooker, or whatever the hell it is lets just played a good old fasion game of pool." Said Jeremy of Cybertoria.
"And as I said before, I'm pefectly willing to play pool," Stephanie replied, somewhat miffed at being ignored in favour of bad jokes about billiard cues.

Otterby tripped over his misplaced snooker cue and hit the floor with a sound rather like:

*bump*

"And as I said before, I'm pefectly willing to play pool," Stephanie replied, somewhat miffed at being ignored in favour of bad jokes about billiard cues.

You stripes, or solids?

Otterby tripped over his misplaced snooker cue and hit the floor with a sound rather like:

*bump*
the dart gun he had taken back went off accidentally, the dart hitting him in the thigh with a sound rather like:
*phfffft*
Followed by a sound, emanating from Byron whom had witnessed the entire slapstick event, like:

*chortle*

:D

OOC. Is it just a coincidence that this page of posts is number 147?? :eek:

(147 is a maximum break in snooker! for those who didnt know.:D )

OOC. Is it just a coincidence that this page of posts is number 147?? :eek:

(147 is a maximum break in snooker! for those who didnt know.:D )
OOC: 147? I'm showing it as being page #196.

OOC: 147? I'm showing it as being page #196.

OOC: He probably has it set on 20 posts per page.

You stripes, or solids?
Overhearing this, Varia frowned in confusion. Whatever happened to red and yellow? She adjusted her dress, ill at ease in such finery, and gazed down at her feet. It hadn't even occurred to her that a posh frock really ought to be paired with appropriate footwear. Still, her raggy old sandals were comfortable and, hey, the other delegates were probably all too sozzled to notice anyway.

The Sudden outburst of care was startling at first. Byron was immediatly shocked out of any pining for home. The Strangers Bar was more reknowned for its apathy rather tan its empathy. Byron Smiled. "What the Hell" he said Loudly and Gripped rose in a Pashionate Embrace. What seemed forever had lasted but seconds. There was A Hushed silence as the embrace ended. The bars Madding crowd standing awestruck at what just happened.
'Excuse me while I go… gloat.'

Rose flung herself over the bar and found Giordano lying comfortable in his heap.

'Wake up you bastard.'

'Wha? Rose?'

'Nice night?'

'What the thing with Neville? I'm going to regret that aren’t I?'

'Not half as much as you'll miss the snooker.'

'Oooo snooker!' Giordano leapt up, 'ouch. Doesn't matter. Just point me in the way of the table.'

Rose pointed Giordano in the direction of the table and helped herself to a drink.

Sir Cyril strides purposefully into the room, the tails of his diplomatic uniform flowing behind him. He moved towards the bar, and in his upper-class Cobdenian accent asks the barman for a large malt whisky, no ice, no water.
Upon recieving it, he moves to one of the large leather upholstered chairs, removes a pipe from his lavishly embroided trouser pocket, sits down carefully and much dignity so as not to sit on his tails, and lights his pipe; all without spilling one drop of the scotch.

He sits for fifteen minutes, slowly sipping on the golden nectar. He removes a silver pocket watch from his fob pocket, flips the cover open. He downs the remains of his Scotch, sits up quickly and runs out of the room, exclaiming

"Shit, I'm missing Animaniacs!"

Igove Vonrich had now heard reports about the destruction that was taking place in his country of Assatru and the neighbor, Albertiana. If all told, there could be 300+ dead in the flooding.

Standing up, not caring if anyone was disturb by what he shouted next in broken English;

"There has been a natural disaster in the United Socialists States of Assatru, the Dominion of Albertiana and nearby Anzyria. Maybe 300+ dead! I am the UN diplomat from Assatru, and not one person has come forward with any aid to this disaster. Are you all going to sit around and let people die."

OOC: If anyone wants to offer aid. Go to Internation Incidents and to Natural Disaster, or telegram either one of the three nations.

Igove Vonrich had now heard reports about the destruction that was taking place in his country of Assatru and the neighbor, Albertiana. If all told, there could be 300+ dead in the flooding.

Standing up, not caring if anyone was disturb by what he shouted next in broken English;

"There has been a natural disaster in the United Socialists States of Assatru, the Dominion of Albertiana and nearby Anzyria. Maybe 300+ dead! I am the UN diplomat from Assatru, and not one person has come forward with any aid to this disaster. Are you all going to sit around and let people die."
"Of course not," Bob replied, "I'm going to stand around and watch this game of pool, assuming it ever gets started. Besides in order to request humanitarian aid from The Rogue Nation of Flibbleites you need to call our Department of Humanitarian Aid, and don't ask me what the number is, it's unlisted."

Stephanie heard Jeremy's question, and was about to reply when she got a call on her mobile.

"Hello?... Yes, this is she... what? You really mean Engard got in?... I see... I see... Huh? Say that again?... Here?... When?... Alright, I.. guess that'll be alright. It'll be a heck of a reshuffling though... Alright then, I'll organise things for when she arrives."

She turned to the Cybertorian. "I'm sorry, Jeremy, but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on that game. Official Enn business, they're sending me an... assistant of sorts. It'll be interesting, seeing her here again."

Signalling to Violet, she got a fresh glass of Ennish Shandy, sat down, and got out a wad of paper. She then began furiously scribbling notes for when the new member of her staff arrived.

Sir Geoffrey Damard, 6th Baron Woldrock, Habardian Diplomat, enters the room. He looks around, a bit worried about the recent hostilities shown against Habardia by other countries, then looks over at his bodyguards, and reassured, sits down for a glass of brandy.

The wind blew in behind him as the new U.N. representative from Kanienkha entered the tavern. The disturbance to thier comforts drew almost as many stares as the feathered regalia and deer antlers adorning Dekaniwida. The half of his body covered in traditional tattoos is what kept their gazes on him as he moved across the room to warm himself by the fire burning invitingly in the corner. Drawing himself up in a chair close to the hearth, Dekaniwida removed his bear skin robes and carefully removed his pipe from its wrappings. When the waiter came by, his only request was for some green tea and perhaps some deer venison with cornbread. Although his surroundings had changed, especially with his nations move to the region of Nasicournia, but his tastes remained true to his humble origins in his mothers longhouse. As he took the first satisfying pull of his pipe, he gazed across the room taking in the many comings and goings of the others busy patrons. He finally set his gaze upon the pool table and watched the going on's there.

Dekaniwida National Delegate for the Council of Kanienkha

"I like your shoes Varia" Adiane said seeing them (hes serious)

Neville, could I have a Kentucky Burbon?

Baron Woldrock looks around, then asks: "Does anyone here have the Habardia Times?"

OOC: Sorry, been out of the loop.


he's now a regional delegate, so he'll be even busier than usual"

"Kaigan, we should go into the ring someday, just you and me. You look like a strong man, but I doubt you're quick. Of course, it seems like time is at a premium these days. How about if I have my people call your people? Maybe we can schedule something."

Kaigan smiles and says "i would like that. i'm sure theres a local martial arts or fencing centre we could use. i'll get Midori to take a look for us.

then she can talk to your assistant and make the arrangements"

then his phone goes off again!

he flips open his cell phone and frowns answering in his native language and nodding as he listens.

he ends the conversation with "sayonara Jun sama" and puts the phone back in his jacket pocket.

"thats the foreign office calling again" Kaigan says "as i said before we're never of duty"

he manages a little smile when he sees his assistant at the bar and decides to let her enjoy herself.

"gotta go Angelina" he adds "i'll probally be down here tomorrow at some point but when Midori can extract herself from the bar i'll get her looking for a place to duel"

he bows and leaves the bar heading back to his office still holding a half eaten slice of pizza.

Jeremy starts chugging down his bottle.

Stephanie heard the door into the Bar open, and looked up to see her new assistant enter the room.

But this person wasn't exactly new, not around here. Sure, she wouldn't be recognised by almost everyone present, but that was because she'd previously left the UN to work in domestic politics. That was when Stephanie had taken over the duties.

Hannah Sikura, until recently the Chairwoman of the People's Assembly and Triumvir of Enn, had returned to the Strangers' Bar.

From his vantage piont above the ongoings, Gurgle the Dragon notices a man--whom he quickly confirms is the delegate from United Socialist States of Assatru--going over a list. His long neck brings his head within earshot of the delegate.

"I say, old chap," the Dragon says, unexpectedly loudly, "isn't that a summary of every measure that the United Nations has ever passed? How interesting! I've never bothered to study the history of this august body in such detail! What is it that you hope to accomplish as a result of your studies?"

From his vantage piont above the ongoings, Gurgle the Dragon notices a man--whom he quickly confirms is the delegate from United Socialist States of Assatru--going over a list. His long neck brings his head within earshot of the delegate.

"I say, old chap," the Dragon says, unexpectedly loudly, "isn't that a summary of every measure that the United Nations has ever passed? How interesting! I've never bothered to study the history of this august body in such detail! What is it that you hope to accomplish as a result of your studies?"

"I myself," Otterby interjected, "attempted to compile such a record when I first arrived here. For administrative, not economic purposes. I failed of course, to much paperwork, though I did discover some remarkable facts about this building. For instance, this bar is located on a U.N. enforcement gnome burial ground."

He raised his eyebrows and sipped his Guinness knowingly.

Having watched Animaniacs and the following Dogtanian and the Muskehound marathon (which Sir Cyril didn't know was on and was pleasently suprised by); Sir Cyril walked into the bar gracefully, just in time to overhere Otterby's comments.
He was about to ask if he was telling the truth, when he observed a contigent of UN enforcement gnomes enter, wearing morning dress, six of whom were pallbearing a small coffin. He watched them open a trapdoor, place the coffin reverendly in, and run off.

He turned to Otterby:

"You are incorrect; it is still a UN Gnome burial ground"

Angelina watched the burial with a flicker of a smile on her face.

She turns to address the gathering crowd with, "And why do they bury them in the bar exactly?"

"My guess it would be so that they can remain forever close to an enforcement gnomes only true freind: Alcohol!"

The yellow-clad otaku from the Conclave of Beauty, his attempt to explain the physics of billiards falling upon deaf ears, watched the gnomish funeral procession with fascination. After they were finished interring their brethren, the young priest wandered over towards the bar, and began measuring the distance between the newly installed shrine and the trapdoor.

"Intriguing....I must add this to my follow-on report about the Manifestation."

Hannah walked over to Stephanie.

"Everything's so... different, around here," Hannah began. "The barman not only has a name now, but now has a personality. I'm not sure I recognise anyone here. There's a waitress. Komokom's frying pan's gone. The billiards table's been transformed into pool, and the twister mat's been shoved into the cupboard. What happened to all the people I knew?"

"A lot happens in 14 months," Stephanie replied. "The Rep of Komokom left, Desdemona retired from the UN, several times apparently, but we've kept in touch. You might remember her assistant Giordano. Rose also works for The Black New World, she's the one hanging off Byron's arm. Byron - surely you've met him at some point in your official duties. Seems to represent Venerable Libertarians at every gig. You left while gay science was still a main debate, nowadays it's Inflatable Gandalfs getting all the attention.
"Lydia's not around. I think - did you ever meet Varia and Mathieu? I could have sworn I saw them earlier...
"Anyway, a lot has happened. The Strangers' Bar has never stayed the same for long. You look different too."

"Do I? I suppose so. But it's good to be back. I needed to get away from Justine, couldn't stand to see her gloating."

"Dear Hannah, that's the reason why I accepted Yssandra's offer in the first place - I've always hated internal politicking."

"Very well. I suppose I'd better get to know the current residents of the Bar, then."

Baron Woldrock turns away form the dispersing gnome procession and addresses no one in particular (this is his common practise when stating a fact): "I read that gnomes never really die, they just return to the ground to await the creation of a new commitee, so they can spring back into existence as mystical beings and be useful again. Although I'm not sure of the veracity of such claims."

The yellow-clad otaku turned to Baron Woldrock and replied (apparently thinking the Baron's comment was directed at him), "That's a plausable theory, actually. Our studies of Manifestations suggest that they have the property of recycling...emerging in space and time on occasion then returning to the Cute One for a period, only to re-emerge later. A lot of Kawaiian agricultural festivals are based on that premise, for that matter..."

Having watched Animaniacs and the following Dogtanian and the Muskehound marathon (which Sir Cyril didn't know was on and was pleasently suprised by); Sir Cyril walked into the bar gracefully, just in time to overhere Otterby's comments.
He was about to ask if he was telling the truth, when he observed a contigent of UN enforcement gnomes enter, wearing morning dress, six of whom were pallbearing a small coffin. He watched them open a trapdoor, place the coffin reverendly in, and run off.

He turned to Otterby:

"You are incorrect; it is still a UN Gnome burial ground"

"So it is", Otterby opined, "ugh, the thought of all the little buggers buried under us has spoiled my drink".

"Ouch", he suddenly exclaimed and looking round saw a gnome poking him with a painfully sharp pole.

"Stop it"! he growled and the gnome ran off back to the possession.

"So it is", Otterby opined, "ugh, the thought of all the little buggers buried under us has spoiled my drink".

"Ouch", he suddenly exclaimed and looking round saw a gnome poking him with a painfully sharp pole.

"Stop it"! he growled and the gnome ran off back to the possession.

"Oh dear," replied the dragon. "You have them, too? The time gnomes are the worst of them, you know. Keep fading in and out of existence, and, of course, you can't tell them times have changed. They simply won't hear of it."

It was at about that time that a small group of gnomes armed with pitchforks strolled through the bar and started to gather rather menacingly around the dragon.

Gurgle rolled his eyes. "Oh, not this again," he said. Then he exchanged words with the gnomes in some tongue that only he and they seemed to understand, and they put down their pitchforks and walked over to the dragon. At first they seemed a bit standoffish, but soon they were all engaged in a jolly round of dwarfish banter.

Gurgle sighed. "Well, now that that's out of the way, since my credit's still good, could you see to fetching me a good, stout barrel of sweet red wine, Neville? It's going to kill me one of these days, but at least I'll die happy. Oh--and a keg of mead for my newfound friends! No telling what a little diplomacy can get you."

Baliol Dimbleweed, Under-Secretary to the Deputy UN Ambassador's Deputy, representing 'The Community of Unstable Former Nuns', stumbles into the bar.

He is a shortish, fattish gent of about 70 or 80. His suit is old and creased, and he wears the jacket inside-out, though he appears not to notice. As a consequence, he leaves a trail of small coins behind him, thinking he has pocketed them.

"Grandma?"

He approaches the bar at a strange angle, and bumps into a hat-stand.

"Pardon me, Sir. Clumsy and oafish."

The incident distracts him, and he stares into the middle-distance.

"I once argued with the Queen of Qumchuck", he grins. " 'Madam', I said to her, 'you are a pain in the arse.' "
" 'How dare you belittle me!' she screamed."
" 'Apologies', I replied. 'You are the consummate pain in the arse!' Ha Ha!"

A gnome wanders past.

"Peter? Is that you? We thought you'd gone to the mountains!"

Anybody for a game of Rugby, on the Bar's roof?

Anybody for a game of Rugby, on the Bar's roof?
"Well haven't played since I was a lad in school, but I think it might be better than sitting here waiting for someone to attack me regarding the latest Habardian policies" replied Baron Woldrock seemingly more interested in getting out of the bar (and escaping the menacing looks of the newly arrived Habardian folks bearing Rebellion shirts) than in the game.

"Rugby?", says Baliol. "Did someone say rugby?"

He takes off his jacket, folds it neatly, and places it in a puddle of beer on the floor.

Bending his knees, he squats low, arms hanging near the floor like a chimp.

"Fastest winger at 'Prestwicke Presbyterian Public-school for Pre-pubescents'", he mutters, narrowing his eyes.

Giordano, board of the pooker, had stumbled back into the bar.

'Han…Han…Hanna. Remember me? You were just a little thing when I saw you last… no that wasn't you. You're the one that Lady Des wanted to… with the… and the sausage. Was it? Can we sit down. I don't feel too good. Ennish shandy is it? Nev!'

Hannah looked up at the Black New Worldian.

"Giordano? Yes, you do look familiar. Sausage? Wha...? Anyway, do have a seat."

Stephanie looked on, waiting to see what would happen next.

"Actually," Hannah continued, "I've rather gone off Ennish shandies since I discovered that they're produced by Yssandra's company. I'll take the drink I was first given here in the Bar. Bahgumnian Blue Brandy.
"Is that still available, Neville?" she asked the seemingly unmoving Barlord.

"I think I might have scared him off a bit. Rosie could y' get the drinkes please?"

Rose grabbed a Bahgumnian Blue Brandy for Hannah and a water for Giordano. She walked suspiciously quickly back to Byron. Discretion and valour and all that.

"What the bleeding hell is this?"

"Oh, sorry. Most remiss of me," said Neville, apparently emerging from a state of profound contemplation. "Here, I'll make it doubles," he added placatingly, faultlessly reprising every drink that had been ordered during his mental absence.

"And, of course, every drop that passes Milady's ruby lips does so with the compliments of the house," he added, removing a silver tankard from the commemorative line-up behind the bar and returning it to service with a flourish.

Hannah didn't actually seem to move, but it is surprising how much an experienced diplomat can convey by body-language alone. Neville, the tips of his ears burning, dropped the flowery language and sent a prayer of gratitude to the Barlordian gods who had saved him from referring to the oldcomer as "Her Hannahness".

His wandering gaze was captured by the sight of Giordano staring suspiciously at a glass of water. The lithe diplomat was still clad in the black leather pants he had acquired from Rose. Neville hoped very sincerely that he would do that jumping-the-bar thing again; it was such a triumph of the human will over petty physical impossibillity.

Of course, if the Rugger crowd succeeded, that, too, would be a triumph. As far as Neville knew, the only way to the roof was by passing the notorious Fortieth Floor. On the other hand, perhaps it was no more than Rugby players deserved.

A quick word with the newly arrived Habardian folks bearing Rebellion shirts provided uniforms for one side. The others could make do with vests purloined from the bodyguards playing the pokies. Now, a referee ... well, it seemed a certain venerable gentleman's visual acuity was perfect for the task.

"I wonder, sir, if you would be so kind as to keep an eye on the lads?" Neville asked Baliol Dimbleweed. "As a Prestwickean, you would surely be able to give them many valuable tips on proper conduct when indulging in healthy outdoor sports."

Best not to elaborate on what was considered healthy outdoor sport in the leafy lanes and bucolic byways of rural Prestwicke.

"Now," he purred to the aesthetes who remained when the jesting crowd of red-cheeked hearties had jostled their way from the Bar, "shall we discuss wearable art? Would you say, for example, that velvet is the new black?"

Violet, shocked to the depths of her Puritan soul, cast an apron over the portrait of The Founder that hung at one end of the Bar. She'd never heard anyone being disrespectful about Rugby before.

Overhearing Giordano looked up from his water.

'Yes and black is very upset about it.'

Byron was bemused by all the goings on in the bar. With the entry of Hannah of Enn the buzz in the bar had changed as if some VIP of mega proportions had arrived. Byron was unfazed by this. He never had the same feeling of being starstruck when Popular culture figures were about as the others. All the hullabaloo with the Gnomes and such had now passed and the Bar felt like it had settled down somewhat. Gurgle, was quitely singing with his new gnome friends in some dwarfish tongue and Several of the Members had gone to find the roof for a game of Rugby. Byron had thought it best not to join them as he did not wish to be injured for the coming weekends games as Byrons Rugby team were in the Venerable Libertarian League semi finals.

Byron turned to Rose and Suggested he might approach Hannah and formally introduce himself. "Be right back", He said with a wink and a smile.

"Greetings, I am Prince Esheram Byron, Chief Negotiator for the Realm of Hibernia. It is a pleasure to make your aquaintance" he said to Hannah Taking her hand and Kissing it.

Neville approached Baliol, whose arched back, bent knees and ferocious squint put one in mind of a primitive hunter-gatherer about to relieve himself.

"I wonder, sir, if you would be so kind as to keep an eye on the lads?" Neville asked Baliol Dimbleweed. "As a Prestwickean, you would surely be able to give them many valuable tips on proper conduct when indulging in healthy outdoor sports."

"Snorseby?" says Baliol to Neville's retreating back.

Could it have been? The very likeness! Baliol's eyes mist over with nostalgia. He remembers the skinny dipping at midnight; scrumping Farmer Jack's apples; catching frogs behind the school; and, once, a hurt bottom.

Baliol returns slowly to the present, rugger forgotten. He realises simultaneously that his knees have seized up, and that he needs to urinate.

"Well haven't played since I was a lad in school, but I think it might be better than sitting here waiting for someone to attack me regarding the latest Habardian policies" replied Baron Woldrock seemingly more interested in getting out of the bar (and escaping the menacing looks of the newly arrived Habardian folks bearing Rebellion shirts) than in the game.

I'll be on the roof in 10 minutes, just need to get my team ready.

"So," Hannah replied, "Prince Byron. Delighted to finally make your acquaintance. I've heard about some of your activities, both through Stephanie here, as well as from reports from Amalya Xzelyn with that TPP business. I trust you are well?"

---

Stephanie, seeing that she wouldn't get any meaningful work out of Hannah for the next while, decided to actually do some work. Shock, horror, but she knew that she actually did have a job. Didn't mean leaving the Bar, she'd been based in the Bar since her office had vanished several months earlier.

Angelina laid her jacket over the back of a chair.

"Rugby hmm? Well that sounds good to me... if you guys don't mind getting your ass kicked by a girl."

She snaps her fingers, and her guards hop to attention.

"Let's go out on the roof boys."

Giordano had, drinking nothing but a glass of water, reached that strange state known as sober. Realising that he hadn't left the bar… well ever, he grabbed Rose and deflected her attack when he said she needed to get cleaned up.

Rose returned, Giordano-less, ten minuets later. Her black hair had become purple and her boss's pants had become a black satin dress with a jacket to match her hair. She slipped her arm through Byron's.

'So you're Hannah. Of the sausage. Nice to meet you.'

It took Giordano a while to catch up. He bounded through the bar door like Tigger on speed. He had managed to find his black velvet suit. He made his way to Neville, only tripping three times.

'Oi, I got a present for you.'

He reached into the bag (did I not mention that? Bad narrator) and wrapped the black velvet jacket (that was in the bag, can't you work this out for yourself?) around the barman's (Neville's) shoulders. He looked threateningly at the aesthetes and kissed Neville, again, for good luck.

Angelina laid her jacket over the back of a chair.

"Rugby hmm? Well that sounds good to me... if you guys don't mind getting your ass kicked by a girl."

She snaps her fingers, and her guards hop to attention.

"Let's go out on the roof boys."

All my players are on the roof waiting for you, and lifting 800 lb. weights while waiting.

As the ruggers gathered about the elevator to head off for the game, the gnomes joined them.

"Not to worry," Gurgle told the security forces, "they're just going to watch the game. What would a sporting match be without an audience, now? Besides, they don't have rugby where they come from, so they're going to try to learn the game from watching!"

That over, the dragon strode carefully and daintily over to Neville, Rose and Giordano, just in time to witness the barlord receiving his gifts.

"You know, old chap," he said to Neville, "velvet really does accentuate your figure."

Sir Cyril went up to watch the Rugger, as he himself had never played Rugby, due to being sent to an all girls (bar him) school due to a balls up at his christening by a short sighted Rector.

His mind wandered back to his school days; he remembered the initial humiliation of having to wear the gym slip and stockings, and to the latter days of fun and frivolity, and to the here and now where, as a result of the fun and frivolity of the latter days, he had to care for 326 illegitimate children....

Midori follows the spectators up in the lift to the roof to watch the game.

having played the game herself while in the Kirisuban Airforce Academy she could appreciate what was going on as well as how good looking some of back row players were.

Jeremy's team was called the "Deaths From Above", and they were already to play, each player was at least 6"4", and about 235 lbs., Jeremy of Cybertoria said this game will be played "Union" style. Now let the games begain!" All 15 of Jeremy of Cybertoria's team looked very menecing indeed.

"Ooh, I love a game of rugger," Otterby chimed in enthusiastically, "mind if I join in"?

"Not on your life," Neville called out, "come on Leonard, you're so drunk you could hardly put a ball in a scrum."

At that moment, Otterby was approached by Holt.

"Sir, I have some good news, I'm getting married in 2 days time and I've booked our flight out to Compadria to be there. You remember the invitation I gave you"?

"Of course", Otterby lied.

"Good", Holt said, beaming proudly, innocently, niavely. "I can scarcely wait to see my bride."

"Oh spare us the sentiment son, weddings are weddings. Anyway, more to the point, I'd love to come, just so long as there's Guinness".

"Lots of it Cato", replied Holt.

"Anthony, how many times have I told you not to call me by my middle name. If you want to call me anything, make it Leonard or Mr. Otterby. Would you like it if I called you by your middle name"?

Holt blushed.

"Yes, exactly, Waterskin isn't very edifying is it"?

"Yes, exactly, Waterskin isn't very edifying is it"? "Or appetising! "Blurted Byron, Nearly choking on a sandwich with laughter at the omission. "Could be worse" he followed, "My middle name is Boniface! Esheram Boniface Byron!" he said laughing louder. "I honestly believe at the time i was daubed my parents were under the influence."
Turning to the beauty linked firmly to his side Byron looked at Rose and asked, "do Black new worldians have Middle names?"

"Afraid not. We don’t really have last names. At least no one uses them. To us having a last name means you owe alliance to your family… you should be able to… you make your own decisions and choose your own path."

She looked down at her hand to make sure that her ring, her branding, was gone.

"In theory anyway."

Byron noticed Rose clasping her fingers shut and covering her hand. " I was wondering" he enquired, "Who is this Geordano chap you frequent with and why is he so Weird?" Calling Violet over Byron ordered a round of drinks for his company. Holt and Otterby's glee shone through with huge grins at the thought of more Guinness coming their way. When the drinks arrived Byron raised his glass." A toast to Anthony Waterskin Holt and his new bride. May she be as wealthy and well connected as you hope she is!"

"You're lucky! You should hear my full name!",

exclaimed Sir Cyril,

"Both my fathers family and my mothers family come from are very old and well travelled Cobdenian families, the Strangways-Jones and the MacLehoses. It was only natural that they aquired quite a number of middle names as my forebears married a variety of people from various nations. Thus, my full name is His Excellency Sir Cyril Gordon Muffplaster Radionov Casaba O'Mahoney Askalan DeDerrier von Holsterman Wyznyjytski Ungern-Sturmberg Banerjee Svenssen M'Beki Vicenzo MacLehose-Strangways-Jones, III!"

"Afraid not. We don’t really have last names. At least no one uses them. To us having a last name means you owe alliance to your family… you should be able to… you make your own decisions and choose your own path."

She looked down at her hand to make sure that her ring, her branding, was gone.

"In theory anyway."
Strange custom. Never heard of anything like it, I must say. I always thought allegiance to one's family the most important thing in the world. Perhaps those are just Habardian ways". said Baron Woldrock. Perhaps those are just Habardian ways. It was his favourite phrase, and he could squeeze it into any conversation. It was his particular way of expressing his belief in Habardian superiority, in a very polite, diplomatic way...

"well not being close to anyone is stressed in Avarhierrim, but we do have middle and last names- My name is Adaine Ashford Mellin."

Byron noticed Rose clasping her fingers shut and covering her hand. " I was wondering" he enquired, "Who is this Geordano chap you frequent with and why is he so Weird?" Calling Violet over Byron ordered a round of drinks for his company. Holt and Otterby's glee shone through with huge grins at the thought of more Guinness coming their way. When the drinks arrived Byron raised his glass." A toast to Anthony Waterskin Holt and his new bride. May she be as wealthy and well connected as you hope she is!"

"Here, here," seconded Otterby and Holt. Then, they swigged back their Guinnness and broke into the old Compadrian drinking song of "The Otter with one Paw".

Strange custom. Never heard of anything like it, I must say. I always thought allegiance to one's family the most important thing in the world. Perhaps those are just Habardian ways". said Baron Woldrock. Perhaps those are just Habardian ways. It was his favourite phrase, and he could squeeze it into any conversation. It was his particular way of expressing his belief in Habardian superiority, in a very polite, diplomatic way...
"It isn't without its disadvantages."

She turned back to Byron careful not to let him see her tears.

"My official name is Amelia Rose Hale. After a grandmother or something. Off the record."

Varia Yefremova had demurely perched herself on a stool at the Bar, half-listening to the discussion of nuptials and names. She noticed Rose's pained expression and move across to the Black New Worlder, resting a friendly arm around the young woman's shoulders.

"I have no middle name, myself; this is quite unusual for Ecopoeians of Caselonian* ancestry. Yefremova was my mother's surname, not my father's. I never knew him or his name, you see, hence no patronymic.

Technically, I belong to the Yefremova-Petrov-Ahmad commune-family, but we tend not to bother adopting each others' names in everyday life."

*OOC: Russian-equivalent

Hannah entered the middle-name fray.

"Middle names? Not a native Ennish custom. Imported, along with English and Buddhism. I'm just Hannah Sikura, while Steph here is officially Stephanie Cosette Fulton.
"Last names are a different matter. Pretty much everyone uses a native Ennish family name, regardless of whether they trace their lineage back to the founding of Enn or not. Legally, an immigrant marrying into Enn has to change their name to the Ennish of their spouse, doesn't matter whether they're male or female. I'm pretty sure that was a direct ruling of the Council, back when they were worried about Enn being destroyed by migrants, about two centuries back. Triumvirate hasn't got around to fixing that, not sure it's going to. It's just become such a tradition in Enn.
"But just because we have family names doesn't mean much. Sure, you get Fulton's who are related to the First Chairman of Enn, but that means absolutely zilch. We never had an aristocracy as such, the Council being anonymous, so a name is just a name."

As he saw the sadness in the Black New Worlder's expression, the Baron tried to change the subject, and the first thing that popped into his head was to talk about his own family. Probably not the most tactful approach, but the man tried, you see.

"Well, I for one am Sir Geoffrey Damard, Sixth Baron Woldrock, that is how I address myself, although I have a bunch of other titles and names, but they are only brought up in ceremonies. In Habardia we have a vewry strong aristocracy. And to those of sommon birth my other names are meaningless, it suffices for them that I am a Lord. To the nobles it is enough that I have the Duke's ear. The Damards are the noblest of Habardian lines, after the Duke's, of course."

Of course every noble Habarian thought his family the noblest in the realm. Yet the Baron's words were not completely inaccurate. The Damards were one of the most important families in Habardia, and this particular baron was a cousin of the Duke. In fact the title of Baron Woldrock was really not his own; it was one the Duke gave out to people of his trust. The title Sir Geoffrey was waiting for was much higher. At the death of his father he would become the Eighty-Second Earl Simen, second only to the Duke's family in nobility.

There were now snack vendors on the roof to provide food for the patrons who decided to see the game.

Rose had let her mind wonder during Sir thingy-bob of whatsits speech. There was bunnies, and gumdrops, and dolphins. At least that's all the censors are letting us tell you.

"It sounds very interesting. But I'm not that drunk yet."

*Adaine slipped out to the snack bars on the roof to get something chocolty, then came back*

There were now snack vendors on the roof to provide food for the patrons who decided to see the game.

They were now being mobbed by hungry dwarves.

((Just a note, I kinda killed my laptop, so my internet access is limited to uni computers...not to mention more essays before the end of the semester *sigh*))

Hodgelett ran...er...walked into the Bar. "Left a dossier! Seems my superiors have started to delegate a lot more paperwork than before and I'm leaving it everwhere...I've lost count of the reports I've written. Two more theses arrived on my desk yesterday. So I'll be back...sometime. Lot of research needed for these two."
As she hustled past the bar at a walk that was dangerously near an unladylike-gallop she threw a comment at the barlord. "New jacket Neville? It looks nice."
In a whirl-wind she was gone.

meanwhile up on the roof Midori Kasigi hears her mobile phone go off, the familiar ringtone of the ride of the valkeries attracting her attention.

she answers, listens and heads back to her office. the ambassador needed her.

Dastardly Stench']They were now being mobbed by hungry dwarves.

As the dwarves attack the vendors, the game was underway, Cybertoria's team was creaming the compition, with its supirior players.

Angelina Gallo channeled the force into a push, and broke Cybertopia's ranks singlehandedly, tossing several players into the stands. She then ran across the field for a touchdown.

Her bodyguards blocked as she ran down the field.