World Cup 9 (The winner is: Europa Brittania!) [Archive] - Page 2

01-11-2003, 21:29

Too Little, Two Points Dropped

Wizards Overcome Poor First Half to Share the Points on Mount Doom

From our news services...

Matchday 6, Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–Warnocks Wizards drew 2-2 last night in a disappointing match against the phantom newcomer nation of Wildthings Realm. On a night when a new national flag was officially unveiled and the home crowd began the night in a jubilant mood, the Wizards surprisingly lacked the intensity to compete with the nameless opposition in the first half. Manager Ufwurz the furious made a couple of changes, one of them forced, to the lineup from last week’s match against Hell Bovines. National captain Shagrukh the Strongclaw was a late scratch, having injured himself in warmup, and midfielder Bublok the Destroyer was tactically left out of the lineup. Replacing the two were right back Ufdush the Nasty and veteran midfielder Krumsnak the Sneaky, respectively. Prior to kick-off, Minister of Sport Ufhur the Hated and national mascot Arch-Mage Rahzlok the Alligator took to the center circle for a brief ceremony introducing the enthusiastic home crowd to the new national flag, which Arch-Mage Rahzlok proudly held aloft.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/warnocks_wizards.jpg
The New National Flag of the Empire of Warnocks Wizards

The flag, prominently depicting the ancient colours of the order of Warnocks Wizards, includes the national animal the alligator holding a football between its teeth. This signifies the government’s crusade to resolve all armed conflict by sport. Above the gator’s head is The One Ring, commemorating all those who fell in the War of the Rings. After a brief speech by Minister Ufhur, the unlikely pair left the pitch to raucous applause and the match kicked off.

The nameless Wildthings players dominated the half as the Red and White Wizards were oddly subdued. The first goal was scored in the 8th minute after shoddy defense allowed Unnamed Player to walk in on goal and slide the ball past goalkeeper Globtakh the Timid. A second Wildthings goal was scored twenty minutes later when Unnamed Player sent in a nice ball to Unnamed Player who headed the ball to Unnamed Player. Unnamed Player, aiming a cross for Unnamed Player in the box, was fortunate to have Ufdush the Nasty head one past his own goalkeeper. Manager Ufwurz was fuming on the sideline as his charges were 2-0 down only 28 minutes into a match at Fortress Warnock. Unnamed Player, however, continued to play well and the Wildthings were holding possession effectively. The half ended with Ufwurz screaming at his players as they ran down the tunnel to their locker room.

Ghazghash the Sleazy came on for the ineffective Krumsnak at the half and Wizards began the second half as an entirely different team. They then began barraging the Wildthings goal, but goalkeeper Unnamed Player was proving difficult to beat. On 53 minutes the home team pulled one back when the overlapping Ufdush blasted one home off of a nice through ball from Ghazghash. The Wizards seemed to be getting back into the match when Unnamed Player nearly scored a third goal for his side. In the end, Ghazukh the Burner cleared the ball off of the line. The Wizards pressed and pressed for a second goal and time seemed to be running out. In the end, a brilliant ball by Bagdreg the Mauler found Gabdul the Looter in the box. The attacking midfielder took the ball nicely on the turn, and quickly whipped a bending ball into the visitor’s goal. The Wizards bench erupted as the National Team salvaged a 2-2 draw in injury time. Final result: Warnocks Wizards 2, Wildthings Realm 2.

Warnocks Wizards: Globtakh the Timid, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Mausnik the Cleaver, Ghazukh the Burner (c), Ufdush the Nasty, Krumsnak the Sneaky (Ghazgash the Sleazy 46), Bagdreg the Mauler, Akhklash the Emaciated (Durbret the Choker 72), Gabdul the Looter, Ashmazh the Tough, Ishklash the Snooty (Globdreg the Destroyer 80).

Unused substitutes: Krumsnik the Paunch, Akhburz the Straggler, Mersnik the Cruel.

With only one point earned in the last two matches, the Wizards’ good start to World Cup qualifying is gradually being made insignificant. The Wizards desperately need to win their next match, away at the unranked vegetable nation of Eviscerated Tomatoes, in order to salvage any possible attempt at a trip to Ravenspire/Europa Brittania.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Commerce Heights

01-11-2003, 22:06

Bulldogs Lose To #2 Haraki On The Road, Alvaro Yago Blamed
HARAKI (2/24/23 CHE) - Whatever the Bulldogs had going for themselves in the Akbarland game, they lost on the way to Haraki. CH's record with Alvaro Yago at the GK position dropped to 2-2-2, most likely because the pressure of playing a team ranked higher than any previous CH opponent fell on a player that had not seen any game action since the 2-2 draw at East Spaam four years ago. With the Bulldogs down 2-0, Deppiesse made a goal in the 52nd minute, followed by Burns' first ever WC goal for the equalizer in the 59th minute. Yago, however, let a late goal slip through, bringing the score back to 3-2 Haraki. Quigley made several attempts to score a third goal for the Bulldogs, but time ran out moments before he would have made the equalizing goal.
(23) Commerce Heights 2 (Deppiesse 52, Burns 59)
(02) Haraki 3 - FT
Since Eauz also got their second loss of the Cup, Commerce Heights remains second in Group 2.
[code:1:708d775cbb]Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Eauz (52) 6 4 0 2 8 5 +3 12
Commerce Heights (23) 6 3 1 2 9 8 +1 10
Akbarland (37) 6 3 0 3 8 5 +3 9
Errinundera (15) 6 2 3 1 10 7 +3 8
Haraki (2) 6 2 3 1 9 9 0 8
SterlingIce 6 2 1 3 6 6 0 7
NASTIC 2 6 1 3 2 8 12 -4 6
CallMeBernard 6 1 1 4 5 11 -6 4[/code:1:708d775cbb]
Commerce Heights Schedule
Day 1: vs NASTIC 2 – T 2-2
Day 2: vs SterlingIce – W 1-0
Day 3: at #52 Eauz – W 2-1
Day 4: vs CallMeBernard – L 1-2
Day 5: vs #37 Akbarland – W 1-0
Day 6: at #2 Haraki – L 2-3
Day 7: at #15 Errinundera
Day 8: at NASTIC 2
Day 9: at SterlingIce
Day 10: vs #52 Eauz
Day 11: at CallMeBernard
Day 12: at #37 Akbarland
Day 13: vs #2 Haraki
Day 14: vs #15 Errinundera
Team Statistics
[code:1:708d775cbb] Overall WC7 WC8 WC9
Games Played 29 10 13 6
Wins 12 3 6 3
Draws 8 3 4 1
Losses 9 4 3 2
Avg. Opp. Rank 76.9 62.6 81.7 90.2
Highest Opp. Rank 2 18 16 2
Highest Def. Opp. Rank 16 18 16 37
Avg. Offense 1.5 1.5 1.5 1.5 gpg
Avg. Defense 1.4 1.8 1.2 1.3 gpg
Goal Differential +3 -3 +5 +1
Rank 100 54 23[/code:1:708d775cbb]
Individual Statistics
[code:1:708d775cbb]Team Scoring Leaders – WC9
Player G GF GPG
J. Cahalane 6 2 0.33
B. Quigley 6 2 0.33
C. Deppiesse 6 2 0.33
F. Wallace 6 1 0.17
K. Decker 6 1 0.17
E. Burns 6 1 0.17
M. Paritmongkol 6 0 0.00

Goaltending Leaders – WC9
Player G GA GPG
D. Vojtilo 5 5 1.00
A. Yago 1 3 3.00

Team Scoring Leaders – Overall
Player G GF GPG
B. Quigley*** 29 14 0.48
C. Deppiesse..* 6 2 0.33
K. Decker*** 29 8 0.28
M. McCormick.^^ 4 1 0.25
J. Cahalane*** 29 7 0.24
C. Romanowski**. 23 5 0.22
F. Wallace^^* 10 2 0.20
D. Kakuta**. 23 3† 0.13
M. Paritmongkol*** 29 1 0.03
E. Burns*** 29 1 0.03

Goaltending Leaders – Overall
Player G GA GPG
A. Yago.^^ 6 8 1.33
D. Vojtilo*** 24 33 1.38

..*/..^ starter/backup in WC9
.*./.^. starter/backup in WC8
*../^.. starter/backup in WC7[/code:1:708d775cbb]
†In yesterday's Individual Statistics table, a goal scored by Kakuta in the game at Praetorian Rome was not included in the total.

Update on Dirk Vojtilo
The Bulldogs medical staff expects Dirk Vojtilo to recover from his leg injury before the SterlingIce game. He will not be allowed to play until after that game.

Snub Nose 38

01-11-2003, 22:38

TBF: could you make your "The Belmorian" banner about 1/7th smaller? Each page you put it on won't fit on my screen anymore. Thanks
DoneTBF: Perfect! Thanks much :D

NASTIC 2

01-11-2003, 22:39

Nastic sports review

Wild celebrations are happening all over nastic after the former Nationstates olympic gold medalists won their first ever World cup game.

Nastic started this game in low spirits after gaining three draws and then two losses in a row they had to play the group leaders Eauz who were flying towards world cup IX.

Nastic started the game poorly and soon fell a goal behind and were out played for most of the first half but 2 quick goals in the second half settled any nerves the players had they then managed to hold on till the final whistle prompting the wild celebrations in Nastic.

Tables Post-Matchday 6

Day 1
Commerce Heights 2-2 NASTIC 2

Day 2
NASTIC 2 2-2 Errinundera

Day 3
Haraki 1-1 NASTIC 2

Day 4
NASTIC 2 0-4 Akbarland

Day 5
SterlingIce 2-1 NASTIC 2

Day 6
Eauz 1-2 NASTIC 2

[code:1:8939d712e3]

GROUP 2
P W D L F A PTS
Eauz (52) 6 4 0 2 9 6 12
Commerce Heights (23) 6 3 1 2 9 8 10
Errinundera (15) 6 2 3 1 10 7 9
Akbarland (37) 6 3 0 3 9 6 9
Haraki (2) 6 2 3 1 9 9 9
SterlingIce 6 2 1 3 6 6 7
NASTIC 2 6 1 3 2 8 12 6
CallMeBernard 6 1 1 4 5 11 4

[/code:1:8939d712e3]

Ravenspire

01-11-2003, 23:32

Bedistan

01-11-2003, 23:43

OOC: Took you long enough :P
Have started updating the website, though it would be nice if the
HOSTS got into the act :P
http://nswcc.tripod.com

OOC: Were we supposed to? And if so, how? I did receive a password from you before the start of the thread, but I don't see anywhere on the web page that I'd enter it. And no username or address, so I assume it's not a telnet thing.

Go to the main Tripod site (http://www.tripod.lycos.com/). At the top of the page, you should see a button that says "log in". Click on this button, enter the username and password, and you should be good to go. ;)

Snub Nose 38

02-11-2003, 00:04

*we think we’ve been here before. very nice office furnishings, chandeliers provide the lighting. here and there throughout the office suite are plantings – a potted palm, a norwegian spruce, a nice selection of house plants (aloe, jade, some hanging ivy, and such) and just through the glass doors over there in what must be a hothouse we see a number of orchids growing among other plants indigenous to equatorial jungles. there’s a baby grand piano in one corner of this room, and we can see through the double doorway next to it that there are several more nicely appointed rooms making up this suite. also by the piano is the butler, wiping something up. of course! the penthouse offices of the minister of athletics, olympics and alcoholic beverages. and just as we realize where we are, the hothouse door opens and margaret comes in. she walks over to the desk, picks up the phone, and dials. as she is dialing, the elevator opens, and the minister is ushered in by the other butler.*

- “ring” (we’ve gone over this already)
- “ring” (and, again)
- Hello.
- ******
- One round trip to Halfassedstates, please.
- *******
- As soon as possible.
- *****
- In about three days I think, but I’d really would like the return to be a little flexible.
- *********************
- Um…I guess the one that let’s me choose over a three day period, and costs *VG100 more.
- ******
- It’ll be my Vodka Card.
- *****
- 5555-1234-4434-0102
- ****
- It expires in Janus of next year.
- *********
- Thanks.

*the minister has been standing by the elevator, watching and listening, since he came in. he “shushed” both butlers with a wave of his hand. margaret hangs up the phone, turns, and is startled*

- You’re starting to act like Jack.
- I don’t think that’s a fair comparison.
- No, you’re right. Too hard on Jack.
- What was that about?
- Oh, I’m taking a little trip to Halfassedstates – some time off, you know.
- Halfassedstates? Why Halfassedstates?
- There are some people there I want to visit.
- What people?
- Is it any of your business?
- Well, yes and no. Yes, because you work for me and we are both fairly high profile people. No, because everyone is entitled to some privacy…sort of.
- Um...Who works for who? And what do you mean "Sort of"?
- Yes, um, well...But really, there’s no point in my not telling you. You know if you don’t tell me why you’re going to Halfassedstates, I’ll call Jack, and you also know he will find out. We’re in government, Margaret. We aren’t allowed any real privacy or secrets.
- Family.
- What?
- Family. I have family there. In fact, I’m a naturalized Snub Nose Thirtyeightian. I was born in, well, I was born Halfassed. We Immigrated from Halfassedstates when I was 7.
- Emigrated.
- Huh?
- You emigrated from Halfassedstates.
- Sure. We emigrated to Snub Nose 38…
- Immigrated.
- What? Make up your flippin’ mind, chum.
- You emigrate from someplace, you immigrate to someplace.
- Geez…don’t be so picky, they’re just words.
- What else do we have to communicate with?
- …
- So, you have family you want to visit in Halfassedstates. That’s reasonable, as long as you’re back before the Hooligans next match with Demonic Beings.
- I will be. And, I’m taking my rubber chicken as one of my “carry-ons”, so worst case, I’ll “take care of things” from there, and be back before the 8th day of Qualifiers at Warnocks Wizards.
- You have to be here for the Demonic Beings match.
- I plan to be. But, there is such a thing as “weather” ya know. I’m just saying, if we get “socked-in”, or something, I’ll have “old faithful” with me. Just in case.
- He’s still exiled to Elba.
- Not what I meant. But, since you bring it up, I think you ought to arrange for him to get off that bloody island. With Sal Manela and his staff, Sally Forth and Ivan Tabytcha, um…”missing”…and Ben and Eileen “filling in”, they could use Justin’s help.
- Well…I’ll see what I can do.

*there is a pause. not really an awkward pause. just a pause. and, just before it becomes an awkward pause -*

- The Crocs! They beat the Crocs!
- I know. Isn’t it great?
- You know that two wins in a row isn’t what got us the Penthouse back. It’s beating the Crocs that did it.
- Margaret, you know how much I know about football…
- Nothing.
- That would be the correct amount. But even I know that the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans beating the Tanah Burung Crocodiles is like magic.
- Like magic?

*VG – vodka gimlets, the national currency of Snub Nose 38

Tanah Burung

02-11-2003, 00:30

... coming to you from Tanah Burung, where something extraordinary has happened: the whole country is wrapped in silence. Ever since the whistle blew to end the match against Snub Nose 38, no one in the country has spoken. It's not that they don't want to speak. Apparently, they can't. Tongues move, but no sound comes out.

Crocodiles coach Bi Kikere had this to say: "......." And she added with a grimace: "...." ".....?" "......"

People are going out their business. The trash is being picked up, the newspapers delivered, the hospitals are treating patients as best they can. Yet no one says a word. No one can.

Cults are, not surprisingly, forming around the day's events. The 24-hour Church of Gil is entreating the intervention of the Dean, praying for Gil to return and explain what can have happened. A loss, sure, but a loss to Snub Nose 38? It's almost incomprehensible. The Church of the Planes of Energy has advanced the loss as proof positive that the cosmos is seriously off its axis. A few people have slaughtered chickens and written the word "Margaret" in chicken blood. And everywhere, soothsays have gathered to chant in unison: "......." "......." ".......!"

In the city of Matebian, where the collective presidency is gathered, the silence is something almost palpable. You could, maybe, reach out and touch the silence, tear at it with your fingernails, try to eat it with a knife and fork. But no one can explain it. The presidency has finally given up their attmepts to meet, their passionate cries of "......" and the angry rebuttals of "......!" In the meetign chamber, all that remains is a scrap of paper, bearing the words:

"Zombie virus?"

Rejistania

02-11-2003, 02:23

FYI: Rejistania has some primitive tribes, who live in remote parts of the country. They play an important part here:

IC:
Anti-Nazis' 'Kana milhan nilte xcora'ta'* hits Imdilas Team

This game was one of the strangest in the short rejistanian World Cup history: It ended scoreless and gave the Anti-Nazis the 6th scoreless draw in a row. While some people may call it coincidence, or say, that the 'random number god' prove his sense of humor, team coach Imdila had a very uncommon explanation: 'It is a Kana, which the Anti-Nazis use to protect themselfes.' Because of this reason, a shaman, who was camouflaged as a substitute player also travelled with the Rejis. But even north-rejistanian magic could not defeat the kana. The shamen said: 'It is, that there is high protection of him, who is called Sye. Not know, who was, who summoned him, but you see: Not good for those called Anti-Nazis, not good for opponents. Sye is protects, but in this is keeps Anti-Nazis from win.' Even his try to summon Kyjagi did fail.

The game was exactly like that: The Rejistanians played defensive like normal, but none of their counters found the goal. The biggest chance was in the 16th minute, when Lyku was fouled by <player>. The ref decided 'free kick' and showed <player> yellow. the free kick was executed by Ji Raliu, who played instead of Xkeliko Susu for 'spiritual reasons'. Unfortunatly, 10 centimeters were missing from the breaking of the kana.

In the second half, Ji Jen was injured in a duel with player and had to be replaced. Unfortunatly, the normal subsitute player, Hana Yla, was not with them in Anti-Nazis, because the shaman pretended to be him. For this reason, Vel Kansu had to play on the left defensive position, which he does not play normally. But kana is kana and for this reason, even his most horrible errors did not cost the point. Some people say, that the Rejistanian team did not return straightly back to KaMaRi kali, but first had to take part in a long ceremony to get rid of the effects of the kana, but this sounds a bit exaggerated, doesn't it?

* Translation: 'scoreless draw curse'

Wuzzonoa

02-11-2003, 03:01

[see my motto]

The Chrysaestos Times, Sports section

The game against Audioslavia went well today. We won 1-0. In the first minute Aquillan forward George Laffenboffenboofenham took the ball over to Audioslavia's net and kicked it in, without any support. The Audioslavians were so demoralized that they packed up and went home that minute, saving me from RPing the rest of the match. Because there was no one to play against the Aquillan team moved off the field as well, and had a victory ice cream party. 86 gallons of chocolate were consumed, as well as 1 gallon of all other flavors put together. The Audioslavian government is rumored to be 'not happy'.

Spaam

02-11-2003, 03:06

New Spaam Times

Sports > Football > World Cup Qualifying

Spaam Unbeaten Record

Spaam has now gone 6 games without being beaten, their best
streak in their history, thanks to a draw in Timway last night.
Falassi was goalkeeper with Celebri not 100% to play, though it is
expected she will be back for their next game. The away game
against world number 5 Timway was a crucial one, and Spaam's
greatest test in the qualifiers.

The game started off with Timway getting most of the possession,
which payed off in the 19th minute when they scored from a corner
shot. The game became more even after that though, with Sëhelin
scoring in the 31st minute with support from Pallanén. Spaam
scored again in the 44th minute with Elensar from a Meneldur
corner shot, giving them a 1 goal lead going into the break.

The second half was much tighter, becoming more of a midfield
game, though Timway created a number of chances. Spaam looked
to be taking away the win as noone scored for 40 minutes, until
the Timway forward pack scored, easily beating Falassi in the 77th
minute. Spaam tried to answer the goal, but it was too late, the
match ending in a 2 all draw.

The draw keeps Spaam unbeaten at the top of the table, one point
ahead of Aquilla, who beat Audioslavia at home. Lanky Dude and
East Spaam are tied for third position, a further point behind, after
East Spaam beat Lanky Dude at home in Guroch. Spaam play
Audioslavia away next round, and are hoping to come away with a
win, after East Spaam beat them earlier in the qualifiers. Last time
the two teams met, Spaam won 3 nil.

Donni Darco

OOC: Check out my team uniform in the roster page.... me proud :D
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1989695#1989695

East Spaam

02-11-2003, 03:20

@@@@ EAST SPAAM NYOOZ @@@@
Nates Meos Mordi

Wee wun agenst Lankee Dood danks too Elmo an Mara in Guroch. Da
gaym woz klos, an wee wer tid at 1 orl in da 80th minit, but Mara
skord da gol. Dis win poots us intoo eekwel 3rd plays with Lankee
Dood, an just too poynts beehind Spaam hoo iz stil unbeeten arfta
der away dror agenst Timway. Wee play Senshooel Produks nekst
rownd an ar ekspekting too win.

Sam.

Kingsford

02-11-2003, 04:42

The Athletic Review

JM: I'm John Madder, covering som FOOTBALL! Today, yoooooooouuuuuuuuur KINGSFORD NATIONAL! played the Lemmitania "Shangri la de da's" today in National Stadium, Kingsford City. Sidelines reporter What's Her Face Matthews is with Renson Davis now.

MM: (on her headset) My name is Mary, John.

JM: Did anyone else here that!? THERE'S AN ELF IN MY BRAIN! AHHHHHH!

(screen goes black, then cuts to Mary)

MM: I should kill myself. Oh, are we on? uh.. heh... Hi, I'm Mary Matthews, here with Renson Davis. Renson, Kingsford has had a lot of good relations with the.. ahem.. Shangri la de da's, but have never played them. How do you think the Kingsford National will do?

RD: With Talisman in the goal, I'm confident we'll let in very few goals. My forwards Desypar and Mike Odyssey are sure to have some amazing moves, while my midfield and strong defense will fend the Lemmitanian squad off.

MM: Thank you, Renson. Now we go to John Madder, for the qualifying recap.

JM: Thank you, brain inhabiting elf. Alright, here's the RUNDOWN!

Day 1, The Kingsford National 2, Freedom Country Dinosaur Faries 0
Day 2, The Kingsford National 1, Terranos Home Run Hippies 2
Day 3, 1900 Oglethorpia Dead Guys 1, The Kingsford National 3
Day 4, The Kingsford National 2, Belmorian Scandinavia Steer Excrement 0
Day 5, The Kingsford National 0, The Weegies Ethnic Cleansing 2
Day 6, Lemmitania Shangri-La-De-Da's at The Kingsford National.

Now that's some crazy FOOTBALL! I don't think I've ever seen better FOOTBALL!

MM: John, the game's already over. It's a tie. 1 to 1. Oddysey scored.

JM: WHAR!? I MISSED A GAME OF FOOTBALL!? AHHH!

(John jumps out the press box window. Two men in urban camo with "Madder Handler" written on the back of their vest jump out of the window after him, tranquilizer guns in hand. Transmission ends.)

imported_Nikea

02-11-2003, 04:48

Nikea v. Halfassedstates

The day dawned a dreary grey in the skies above Lerestano Field in Orkinas. Fans, once again misled by the inept meteorologists on the previous nights 11 o'clock newscast from Nikean National Television, came to the match preparing for the grey skies to eventually clear up overhead. They were very disappointed.

Even though the weather was dismal, it was still unseasonably warm for the match, and the fans were not upset about leaving their large jackets at home. This unexpected warm weather freed up 200 seats that would have normally been left unsold due to the bulkyness of fans in their winter attire. These seats were quickly distributed through local radio contests, and the stadium's full seating capacity of 42 000 was reached.

Kickoff was scheduled for 2pm local time, and five minutes before then, the players came on to the pitch to cheers and applause, mostly for the red-shirted Nikeans and not for the Halfassedstatesians, who wore their away kit, a white jersey with a blue and green band down the chest. The large flags were brought out and unfurled behind the teams, and all the players stood in front of their flags, in a single line, with officials in the front and smiling children wearing "Fair Play" t-shirts in front of them. The PA asked for everyone to stand for the national anthems, and everyone stood, quietly awaiting the start of the visiting Halfassedstates' anthem.

The speaker crackled for a moment, and suddenly, an unexpected tune came out through the speaker, with a strange voice singing in English:

I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
When I pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuck
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get witcha
And take your pictcha
My home boys tried ta warn me
But that butt you got
Makes me so horny

The fans erupted in laughter, but the Halfassedstatesians were not impressed. Neither were the officials, nor the Nikean Football Association representatives on hand with a number of Halfassedstates individuals in a private skybox in the stadium. The music was quickly shut off, and the giggles soon subsided once the real anthem was played. During the Nikean anthem, Orkinas police came onto the pitch and took off Nikean mascot Perin the Panda. Fans were distracted by this, and became outraged at the apparent anti-Pandite police until, following the anthem, the large screen in the South end of the facility showed a security tape of Perin switching the recordings between the actual Halfassedstates anthem (which is quite a moving piece), and the song sung in a warped English accent. Perin was once again foiled in his attempts in humiliating the opposing team, and would not appear for the rest of the match. On a side note, Perin was extremely lucky to get a judge partial to football and who was a Panda fan, and let him go with a "stern" warning.

The match quickly begun, and the ferocity of the Halfassed attack quickly shoved any memories of the anthem incident out of the minds of both players and spectators, as the 13th ranked team in the world (the highest rank Nikea has ever played) showed superior skill and left the Nikean defence running around looking positively lost. Luckily, the midfield had studied the tapes of the Halfassed attack, and quickly disposed of any threats that were put forward. It was later learned that the Nikean back three had missed the video studying session due to a heavy night of drinking and strip poker with the Nikean cheerleading squad. The three later released a spoken statement expressing their "extreme regret" for the event, but not without adding "it was bloody well worth it". This was followed by knowing glances and laughs from the three.

After being pressed by the Halfassed attack for 32 minutes, the Nikean backfield could not hold on as a shot by Halfassed forward Alf Gunnet was turned aside by keeper Jeserin Renteritel, but with the rebound coming to James Milton, who easily deposited the ball into the back of the net. 1-0 to the Halfassed squad.

At halftime, a touching tribute was made to local hometown hero Nilinen Istel, who had retired from international football following the Frosty Invitational tournament. His greatest moments were shown on the screen, ending with the triumphant scene of being carried off the field, very drunk and very unconscious, by his teammates after preventing a sure goal during the Nikean Frosty Cup semi-final victory over Dark Outcasts. This tribute came about after learning that Istel may possibly be leaving the country to pursue a football career in Oglethorpia, as the laws regarding liquor in football matches were much more relaxed there. When Istel held up the famous vodka flask, the noise in the stadium was louder than Shelly Duvall's screaming in the movie "The Shining".

The second half, unfortunately, brought more defensive woes for the Pandas, and the Halfassed side, on a great Halfassed run down the side, scored a Halfassed goal when Al Bundy slammed the cross into the back of the net. 2-0 to the visitors.

The final whistle blew without much action following this goal, and the fans left disappointed, but not without memories. As a treat, free vodka flasks were handed out to all fans 18 or over (some smartass teenagers stole a few while the attendants weren't looking), and copies of the Istel Tribute Video were being sold for 10 mithrim ($20 US dollars). As a kind gesture, the fans also applauded the Halfassed effort put forth by the visitors.

Nikea, as a result of this match, dropped to third place in the group, only two points ahead of Endray-Island and Tranquillitis, both winners today. The next match is the showdown with Bedistan in Solarin Stadium.

[code:1:1d8122ea6f]
Nikea 0
v.
Halfassedstates 2 (Milton 33, Bundy 67)
[/code:1:1d8122ea6f]

----------------------------------------

Match Schedule

Nikea v. Tranquillitis W 2-0
Nikea v. #54 Endray-Island W 2-1
#87 Zinkoland v. Nikea W 2-1
-Kramerica- v. Nikea D 1-1
#26 Anateus Rising v. Nikea D 2-2
Nikea v. #13 Halfassedstates L 0-2
Nikea v. #3 Bedistan
Tranquillitis v. Nikea
#54 Endray-Island v. Nikea
Nikea v. #87 Zinkoland
Nikea v. -Kramerica-
Nikea v. #26 Anateus Rising
#13 Halfassedstates v. Nikea
#3 Bedistan v. Nikea

02-11-2003, 05:08

OOC: Took you long enough :P
Have started updating the website, though it would be nice if the
HOSTS got into the act :P
http://nswcc.tripod.com

IC: NEWS REPORT

There have been rumours that The Dragonian Empire have been
autogenerating the names of their poulace from the websites
The Elvish Name Generator (http://www.chriswetherell.com/elf/) and The Hobbit Name Generator (http://www.chriswetherell.com/hobbit/).
There is anger in the international community at this blatant abuse of
human rights.

From the Department of Populace Relations
Sir Djëmba de Loyol-The People's Assembly Delegate

We here in Dragonia respect the intelligence of other nations, but we despise thier ignorance, as in this case.

The Empire of Dragonia has a large Elvish population, and we are not sure how this effects your human rights, and how it comes on to the field of football. If it does, we pity your countries bigotry and hope you can come to respect both humans and non-humans, as most modern civilized countries do.

02-11-2003, 05:20

(OOC: Sorry, this is short, I'm kind of rushed writing this.)

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Back In Contention
-Erik Åkerfeldt

The Tranquillitis Moose have improved on their already better-than-expected World Cup premier with two straight victories, sending them to a 3-0-3 record and nine points in the group.

The latest victory came away to Zinkoland. Two quick goals from Markus Svensson and captain Magnus Magnusson were enough to put the Moose in the lead for good, although a late goal by Zinkoland provided for a scare.

The Moose play their next match back in Eriksberg against Endray Island, and the victor will gain sole possession of 4th place, with the possibility of going third in the event of a Nikean loss to Bedistan.

[code:1:622544391e]
Zinkoland 1 (<player> 85)
v.
The Moose 2 (Andersson 8, Magnusson 13)
[/code:1:622544391e]

Spaam

02-11-2003, 06:03

02-11-2003, 06:11

Dragons Fail to Score Again, Fall 0-1.

HOLY IMPERIAL CITY (DP)- The fate of Dragonian National manager, Jakeb Jensin is most likely now know after the Dragons, whose average age is fit for a U-23 team, dropped thier 4th in row after a one-nil loss to Morawny. The loss brings the Dragons group nine record to a dreadful
0-1-5, and only scoring twice, thanks to starlet Lissësúl Sargent.

Sargent has started in all but one of the Dragons game's and the Imperial Academy graduate's performance has been rewarded by Jensin with the awardance of the captain's armband. Sargent also signed undisclosed terms with his club team, Dragons FC, who will be defending thier Dragonian Premierdivisere championship next season.

[code:1:6ab203b2a3] Starting Lineup

GK Fosco Danderfluff

LB Hambut Bunce
CB Hamson Bracegirdle
CB Elros Faelivrin
RB Minto Bunce

LM Hob Grubb
DM Hambut Bramble
AM Lissësúl Sargent CAPTIAN
RM Lólindir Oronar

LF Barantasarë OFF-76'
RF Elros Ciryatan

SUBS
1.Samwise Knotwise
2.Daeron Elendil
3.Longo Gamgee-Took
4.Bodo Bulge
5.Findecáno Telrúnya
6.Mario Djurgart ON-76'
7.Olo Hardbottle [/code:1:6ab203b2a3]

02-11-2003, 06:21

NEWS REPORT

There have been rumours that The Dragonian Empire have been
autogenerating the names of their poulace from the websites
The Elvish Name Generator (http://www.chriswetherell.com/elf/) and The Hobbit Name Generator (http://www.chriswetherell.com/hobbit/).
There is anger in the international community at this blatant abuse of
human rights.

From the Department of Populace Relations
Sir Djëmba de Loyol-The People's Assembly Delegate

We here in Dragonia respect the intelligence of other nations, but we despise thier ignorance, as in this case.

The Empire of Dragonia has a large Elvish population, and we are not sure how this effects your human rights, and how it comes on to the field of football. If it does, we pity your countries bigotry and hope you can come to respect both humans and non-humans, as most modern civilized countries do.

From the Ministry of International Affairs
Tári Lissësúl - Minister for International Affairs

We here in United Spaam would like to respectfully remind the
Empire of Dragonia that we also have a large Elvish and Half Elvish
population. To accuse us of bigotry is ignorant, as we embrace
both our Human and Elvish heritage. A number of our players in our
national teams are Half Elves. And, as this is most pertinent to our
claims, Elvish names are the majority in our nation. I myself am 3/4
Elvish, and have a pure Elvish name.

Now, these were just rumours perpetrated by our media, but in our
investigation, we have found that there may be some truth to the
claims. For instance, the very common 'Human' name of John Brown
translates straight to the name of your midfielders, Findecáno
Telrúnya. What say you to that?

From the Department of Populace Relations
Sir Djëmba de Loyol-The People's Assembly Delegate

In response to Mr. Lissësúl's message,
The only claim I remeber seeing is the claim of violating humans rights; and for what? For having those of the Elvish heritage on our National team? Please, we here in Dragonia do not follow the Spaam vernacular very well, and we see no problem. You have also stated that certain names translate into other names, some of which are on are National team; but if I'm not mistaken, John can also mean Juan, Jean, and among many others. Please, let us play football, and leave these petty accusations of the media off the pitch.

Clearwater

02-11-2003, 06:45

Clearwater Braves drop another.
Story by: Mark Hamil

Hopes were high today that the Clearwater Braves could end their lossing ways in todays game against Sensual Products. Those hopes were dashed unfourtunatly. With the first goal scored in the first minute of play the game was lost. The final gaol was scored in the second quarter. At that point Coach Sanders brought in the relief goaltender. Coach Sanders had this to say. "We have one good goalie, if Our offence could score a goal now and then We would be doing a lot better. You hear that guys!? We are going back to basics!" With that Coach Sanders stomed off. This reporter is left to wonder when these All Stars will show what they can do.

Spaam

02-11-2003, 07:10

Spaam

02-11-2003, 08:02

Ranking Change

Here are the change in Elo rankings in Group 4 since the end of WC8:

[code:1:3e3458e162]Spaam 1263 - 1
Timway 1223 -63
Aquilla 1164 +37
Audioslavia 1119 -68
Lanky Dude 1082 +82 *
East Spaam 1072 +59 *
Sensual Products 1035 +35 *
Clearwater 985 -15 *[/code:1:3e3458e162]

Spaam has moved from second ranked in Group 4 to first, and
Timway vice versa. Aquilla and Audioslavia have likewise swapped
places. Lanky Dude has overtaken East Spaam, and Clearwater's
ranking has dropped from its initial value of 1000.

Spaam

02-11-2003, 08:28

Audioslavia vs Spaam

This is the grudge match of the round, with Spaam looking to keep its
unbeaten run, and Audioslavia looking for revenge after its 3 goal
humiliation back in WC6. Spaam is currently unbeaten on top of the
table, and Audioslavia is just one point from the wooden spoon. So
while Audioslavia have the home ground advantage, Spaam are the
favourites, especially with unbeaten goalkeeper Celebri back in the
side.

Bookies are now taking wagers for the match:
Spaam: 4 to 1
Draw: 5 to 2
Audioslavia: 5 to 1

Place your bets now!

Kaze Progressa

02-11-2003, 12:15

From the Daily Kangaroo:

PROGRESSANS GO SECOND AS GROUP MUD CLEARS

Kaze Progressa took second place in the group following victory over Kegarna.

The Kegarnans, who have surprised many with their impressive start, pushed forward from the start, forcing Eaka Palera into a good save on six minutes when a fierce shot into the roof of the net sent Palera jumping to tip the ball away in unorthodox fashion. He also did well to punch away the resultant corner, though the Kegarnans claimed Eauam MacKazie headed the ball before the punch and hence Palera had effectively handled a back pass. The replays were inconclusive, making the decision of the Arridian referee Michael Zarotta wise.

He had no problem awarding a penalty on nineteen minutes when Ekazen Waulino took an elbow in the jaw and a kick in the ankle almost simultaneously from a Kegarnan defender. Faiwe Irafma scored the penalty with ease. Irafma doubled the lead on 32 minutes with a 20-yard thunderbolt into the top corner, leaving the keeper no chance. Strong defending from then on ensured there was barely a chance for the Kegarnans to get back into the match, and only a superb save denied Irafma a hat-trick six minutes from time.

The Progressans are now second to Liverpool England in the group, ahead of One Red Dot who are their next opponents. Irafma said this match is 'our biggest game ever... one which could determine our destiny in years to come'. Kaze Progressan bookmakers GetLucky offer 9-8 against a KP victory, 13-9 against a ORD victory and 11-4 against a draw.

Snub Nose 38

02-11-2003, 15:03

*we are in the screening room of the snub nose 38 hooligans, and the strains of johann strauss sohn “an der schonen blauen donau” are in the air. around the perimeter of the room are 2 dozen candles, providing the only light in the room. on the desk stands a large vase holding an aromatic floral arrangement. in the center of the room eileen dover, in a flowing sky-blue formal, and ben dover (white tie and tails), are waltzing. we sit quietly and watch for some time.*

- Ben?
- Yes, dear.
- I feel so…so…not eviscerated.
- It’s a lovely feeling, isn’t it?
- So-o-o-o nice. Ben, have you thought about Bi at all?
- Oh, yes. I certainly have. Quite a bit, you know.
- And…
- Well, she hasn’t said anything publicly since the match.
- No one in Tanah Burung has said anything publicly, or privately for that matter, since the match.
- Right. Seems they can’t. Wonder what that’s all about?
- Trauma from shock, I should think.
- All that aside, I have thought about Bi a bit today. I think we should show good sportsmanship.
- How so? We’ve never sunk to that level before.
- Well, we can afford to be magnanimous – we won.
- And just how are we going to show this new found magnanimity?
- Is that a word?
- It is now. What kind of good sportsmanship did you have in mind?
- A little gift.
- Gift? That would be nice. I certainly don’t want to rub Bi’s nose in the fact that the Hooligans beat the Crocs…wait...let me think about that…wait…thinking…hmmm...Yes, you know, after all, I do. I really do. I want to rub that pert little, cute little nose right in it! But, I digress. What sort of “gift” did you have in mind?
- Nothing much. Just a small token of our close relationship. I was thinking, perhaps a single raspberry sitting on a small piece of crocodile skin - fake, of course – real would never get past Tanah Burung customs. And a short note – “The later date has arrived”
- I like it!
- Good, because it’s on it’s way by Overnite Snubnose Express.

*ben and eileen fall silent, but continue to waltz. as they swirl around the room, someone enters and stands by the door. eileen and ben waltz on. round and round, and then, as they pass the door, eileen opens her eyes – and -*

- Justin!
- Eileen. Good to see you.

*the waltzing stops*

- How…?
- Not sure, Ben, but from the bits and pieces of conversation I could pick up as they released me, and on the ferry back from Elba, I think the Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages arranged it.
- It doesn’t matter. You’re free, that’s what matters!
- That’s pretty much how I feel about it too, Eileen. So…I hear Sal Manela took over as Manager, and brought Sally and Ivan along to coach.
- Well, yes and no, Justin. Yes, and no.
- What’s that supposed to mean?
- Well…uh…yes, Sal, Sally and Ivan did take over the management of the Hooligans. And, no, they’re not managing them anymore. We are. Ben, me, and now you if you want back in.
- Well, sure I do.
- Maybe we’d better give you a few more details before you make up your mind, Justin.
- Details? Ben, what’s going on.
- If we were talking about, say, a national government, I suppose you’d call it a “coup”.
- Um…yes, I think you had better give me some details.

*ben walks over to the “medicine cabinet” on the wall. on the way he picks up what appears to be a bucket ‘o chicken. he unlocks and opens the “medicine cabinet”, places the bucket ‘o chicken inside, closes and locks the cabinet, and throws the “light switch” on the wall. we hear the machinery faintly, as well as the sound of the inner door sliding open.*

- Ben! You dirty SOB! You low life, miserable, foul, rotten excuse for a …
- Evening, Sal.
- …human being, you cur, you monster, you freakin’…
- What the…tell me you don’t have Sal locked up in there!
- Uh… can’t do that, Justy. ‘Cause we, um, kind of do have Sal locked up in there.
- Eileen! You can’t mean it!
- Well, see, I sort of do mean it.
- Good grief! What about…
- Ben, Pul-e-ase let us out. Or, at least let me out!
- …Sally – oh, cripes, Eileen. You’ve got Sally locked up, too!
- Um…and…Ivan…too.
- …dog of a stinkin’ louse! You half-witted, half-brained, halfassed…
- Sal, we beat the Tanah Burung Crocodiles today.
- …
- In Tanah Burung, too.
- O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
- Are you chortling in there, Sal?
- Chortling I am, Eileen. Beat the Crocs?
- Yup.
- That’s marvelous! Ivan, Sal – did you hear that? The Hooligans beat the Crocs today, in Tanah Burung!
- They beat the…Hooray!! Hurrah!!
- Um…Ivan? Sal? We’re still locked in here, idiots!
- …Ben, you miserable, thieving, conniving…

*ben throws the switch on the wall. machinery sounds. slidding sounds. and, silence from within as the inner door closes and the sound proofing takes effect*

- Okay, guys, exactly what is the deal here?
- Justin, I couldn’t watch them destroy the Hooligans we built up any longer. So…I stuck them in there, and there they’ll stay until World Cup 9 is over.
- But Ben…When you let them out, you and Eileen – and me, if I go along with this – will be in just a little trouble, don’t you think?
- Well, yes and no. See, we’re just gonna do this one last time. When it’s over, it’s over. We’ll leave the key in a locker at the bus station, a couple of days food in there with them, and mail a letter to Margaret telling her where they are and where the key is. Then, we hightail it. Leave the country for someplace without an extradition treaty with Snub Nose 38, and retire there.
- So…how’s it been going so far?
- Well, since I put them in there, the Hooligans won two in a row, one against the Crocs, and moved up to first in their qualifying group.
- …Okay, I’m in. Now, tell me about the match against the Crocs? We won? We beat ‘em? Tell me…please tell me…did we…EVISCERATE ‘EM?
- It was a beautiful match. Knuckles got one in the 69th, and the final score was 1 – 0 Hooligans. The quality of play, the level of play…can’t begin to describe how wonderful it was. No cards, no fouls, just excellent football…
- …And?
- And…we EVISCERATED ‘EM

--------------------------------------------------------------
Johann Strauss sohn = Johann Strauss Jr. (the son)
“An Der Schonen Blauen Donau” = “On The Beautiful Blue Danube”
Also - Thank you, Lewis Carroll

Snub Nose 38

02-11-2003, 15:40

Brought to You by the Snub Nose 38 Ministry of Statistics and Other Totally Useless Information
Ben and Eileen insisted this post had to be here, and that a certain bit of information be in large, bold type

Group 8 Stats, and OTUI
[code:1:d957f05b5d]
# Group 8 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Oglethorpia (10) 10 6 2 2 24 14 10 20
2 Snub Nose 38 (20) 10 5 3 2 16 11 5 18
6 Warnocks Wizards (77) 10 5 3 2 13 11 2 18
4 Tanah Burung (39) 10 5 2 3 12 10 2 17
5 Hell Bovines (65) 10 5 2 3 11 13 -2 17
3 Demonic Beings (31) 10 4 0 6 13 11 2 12
7 Evisceratomatoes 10 2 1 7 7 15 -8 7
8 Wildthings Realm 10 0 3 7 9 20 -11 3[/code:1:d957f05b5d]
Group 8 Matchday Results

Matchday 1
Oglethorpia 3, Hells Bovines 3
Snub Nose 38 5, Warnocks Wizards 2
Demonic Beings 2, Evisceratomatoes 0
Tanah Burung 2, Wildthings Realm 1

Matchday 2
Warnocks Wizards 1, Oglethorpia 0
Evisceratomatoes 2, Snub Nose 38 0
Demonic Beings 2, Wildthings Realm 1
Tanah Burung 2, Hell Bovines 0

Matchday 3
Oglethorpia 3, Evisceratomatoes 0
Snub Nose 38 1, Wildthings Realm 1
Hell Bovines 2, Demonic Beings 1
Warnocks Wizards 1, Tanah Burung 1

Matchday 4
Wildthings Realm 1, Oglethorpia 3
Hell Bovines 0, Snub Nose 38 2
Demonic Beings 0, Warnocks Wizards 1
Evisceratomatoes0, Tanah Burung 1

Matchday 5
Oglethorpia 2, Snub Nose 38 3
Demonic Beings 1, Tanah Burung 2
Warnocks Wizards 0, Hell Bovines 1
Wildthings Realm 1, Evisceratomatoes 2

Matchday 6
Oglethorpia 1, Demonic Beings 0
Tanah Burung 0, Snub Nose 38 1
Hell Bovines 1, Evisceratomatoes 0
Warnocks Wizards 2, Wildthings Realm 2

Matchday 7
Tanah Burung 2, Oglethorpia 4
Snub Nose 38 2, Demonic Beings 1
Wildthings Realm 1, Hell Bovines 2
Evisceratomatoes 0, Warnocks Wizards 1

Matchday 8
Hell Bovines 0, Oglethorpia 3
Warnocks Wizards 1, Snub Nose 38 0
Evisceratomatoes 0, Demonic Beings 2
Wildthings Realm 0, Tanah Burung 2

Matchday 9
Oglethorpia 2, Warnocks Wizards 2
Snub Nose 38 1, Evisceratomatoes 1
Wildthings Realm 0, Demonic Beings 3
Hell Bovines 0, Tanah Burung 0

Matchday 10
Evisceratomatoes 2, Oglethorpia 3
Wildthings Realm 1, Snub Nose 38 1
Demonic Beings 1, Hell Bovines 2
Tanah Burung 0, Warnocks Wizards 2

The Hooligans Remaining Qualifying Matches
(Note - Schedule edited for clarity regarding the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans "nom de guerre" of Snub Nose 20)
Snub Nose 38 - Hells Bovines
Snub Nose 38 - Oglethorpia
Snub Nose 20 (nom de guerre of Snub Nose 38 ) - Tanah Burung
Demonic Beings - Snub Nose 38

Tickets for most matches are still available, and can be acquired through "Snubitron". Or, you can call the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages. Ask for Beverly.

Legal Disclaimer: Wide Area Multi Aura Modifiers (wamam) will be in operation at 38 Special Stadium for all future matches, beginning with the Evisceratomato match. Ask your personal physician if this will be a problem for you. The posting of this notice satisifies the legal responsibilities of the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages, who therefore cannot be held accountable for side effects suffered.

Group 8 Sides With Posted Rosters
1 Oglethorpia
4 Tanah Burung Crocodiles
5 Hells Bovines
6 Warnocks Wizards
2 Snub Nose 38 Hooligans
3 Demonic Beings (see last part of Dark Outcasts roster)

Link to WC9 Rosters (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83283&start=0)

Bedistan

02-11-2003, 15:53

Antaeus Rising Falls as Lions Continue Hot Run

COLUMBIA, FD -- Alas, Antaeus "Rising" failed to live up to its name at Holmes Stadium yesterday.

As Antaeus Rising is the third-highest seed in the group, Coach Barber played the full starting eleven, save Chuck Mitchell, who was serving out a one-match suspension for his reaction to the freaky events of the Halfassedstates match. Erik Oldenburg played goal for the third time, and in his first start.

The action began early as Fernando Sippel unexpectedly slammed one into the net after just six minutes. The flabbergasted Antaeus Rising squad, however, quickly redoubled their efforts, with their goalkeeper making a spectacular save when Darren Morlock attempted a short shot in the 21st.

A foul in the box late in the first half, while not sufficient for a yellow card, was enough to give Bedistan a penalty kick. Midfielder Claire Briscoe took it, and she was spot on, bringing the Lions up 2-0. This was still true at halftime.

Oldenburg did an excellent job filling in for Mitchell yesterday, though he did let one pass with about ten minutes left in the game. Antaeus would not equalize, though, and the Lions walked out with yet another win.

The team will depart Bedistan once again for a much-hyped match against Nikea, currently placed third in the group.

Final score:
Bedistan 2 (Sippel 6, Briscoe 36)
Antaeus Rising 1 (82)

Snub Nose 38

02-11-2003, 17:02

OOC: Negotiator? What the heck...anybody know were the list of "titles" is? I saw the thread where the mods asked for input, and I certainly noticed the change - but have no clue what the various titles are or when they are "reached" anymore. Not in crisis over it, just kind of curious. 8)

Tanah Burung

02-11-2003, 19:40

Striding up to the mike, Bi Kikere takes a deep breath. This job is her life, but it has its down sides. Like having to face the press. Good thing they pay me well she thinks as she prepares to speak.

"I have a brief statement. First of all, regular communications have been restored. It's true that we were expecting to beat the Hooligans, as we always did in the past. In my case, my jaw dropped so hard after we lost that it's taken a team of our excellent health care professionals to re-attach my jaw to the rest of my skull. Apart from being a bit sore, i'm well able to speak again now and quite prepared for our big match today against Oglethorpia.

"Now, i want to say first off, congratulations to Mr Dover and the rest of the coaching crew. No one knows better than I the importance of having a solid hand on the coaching tiller, and Snub Nose 20 is well served by their new (and old) regime. Never change, darlings. This is one of the finest teams in the world, and i think that we've done well to play them on equal terms so ealry in the rebuilding process. It's a match that could have gone either way, and i'm proud of both teams for keeping it clean. Sharing top spot in Group 8 with the Hooligans after six games is a great performance, considering we were seeded fourth in this group, and i'll be very pleased if we're still sitting so well after facing the top seeds today.

"I'd also like the thank the Hooligans management for the lovely fruit basket they sent me, and remind them that although they have defeated us 1-0, the word 'eviscerate' hardly applies to such a close match. I look forward keenly to facing them on their own ground in a return match. Let me just say this: you won't catch us over-confident on that day, you smug chicken festishists, er, scratch that last remark.

"But i don't want to get ahead of myself. Our big test is coming up right away, and let me say that our minds are completely focussed on the futebol we're about to play with Oglethorpia. I'm looking forward to another display of skill, speed and sportsmanship, ending in a Crocodiles win, God willing."

Halfassedstates

02-11-2003, 19:40

Sowhatsville news
Milton Claims Goal.

In a statement released to-day, James Milton has claimed the freakish goal that won the Halloween Howler match-up against Bedistan.
The goal was a strange one by any stretch of the imagination, Miltons swerving effort apparently clipping an offical before slamming into the back of the net. Indeed the final reports of the match coming from Bedistan gave the goal to the official.

Final score:
Bedistan 0
Halfassedstates 1 [Spaamanian official 68]

However, Milton has claimed he intentionally curve the ball to confuse the outstanding Bedistani keeper. Whether or not the WCC officals will look at the goal and award it to Milton or not remains to be seen.

In game day 6, Halfassed took on Nikea who had been struggling after a stunning start to the campaign. After a contraversial start, when the Halfassed side being insulted when the national anthem was replaced with another tune 'I like Big Butts', the Halfassed side used this to fire themselves on and managed a 2-0 win cortesy of strikes from Milton and Bundy in each half.

After the match, team coach Jarvis Smith stated, "It was an insult to the Halfassedstates nation and our players wanted to shove that insult down the throats of the Nikeans - I think they did that successfully"

The Nikean mascot was assested during the first half on suspicion of swapping the songs.

Next up for Halfassed is the Antaeus Rising side. They have been struggling so far in the campaign and come into the game on the back of a defeat by group leaders Bedistan.

OCC: I loved the anthem changing Nikea - was ROFLMAO! class sheer class :lol:

Halfassedstates

02-11-2003, 19:47

OOC: This is a "Thank You" to Halfassedstates, who first had the Minister of Super Secret Sleuthery "appear" somewhere - back in WC6 (maybe 7?), I think.

We're getting a lot of mileage out of that. :wink:

No problem :wink:
Think it was WC6 but can't remember - cheers for the help yourself!

Halfassedstates

02-11-2003, 20:01

*We are at the Halfassedstates International Airport, just outside the Capital city Whogivesa*

Agent 1 - There she is, coming out of gate 31.

Agent 2 - Got her, shes heading straight past the luggage carosel. She must only have the hand luggage with her.

A1 - Bet she has that chicken with her *sniggers*

A2 - *trying not to laugh* Behave - we know what happens if we lose her this time!

A1 - Okay, okay. Shes hailing a cab.

A2 - You got the car close by?

A1 - Yep Bob's in it waiting.

A2 - cool - get him here now.
*Agent 1 contacts 'Bob' and a black sedan pulls up, the agents jump in*

A1 - Follow that cab!!!!

A2 - shut-up ya fool.

*The cab travels into Whogivesa. It stops at the central train station and a lady we know well gets out after paying the driver. She walks into the station and gets onto the 14.30 train to Sowhatsville*

A1 - Shes got on the Sowhatsville express.

A2 - well get a couple of tickets then. - its a 4 hour ride get a couple of magazines as well!

*the agent does so and they both board the train - inside a certain someone called Margaret is remanising over long lost memories of home!*

Snub Nose 38

02-11-2003, 20:12

OOC: This is a "Thank You" to Halfassedstates, who first had the Minister of Super Secret Sleuthery "appear" somewhere - back in WC6 (maybe 7?), I think.
e're getting a lot of mileage out of that. :wink:

No problem :wink:
Think it was WC6 but can't remember - cheers for the help yourself!
SJM - Margo (his 24 year old blonde PA - who also happens to be 'seeing' Jon Stun the young Halfassed defender) get in here!
MARGO!!!!
Margo, who the **** was that?

M - Who was who?

SJM - that strange bloke who was just in here - he must have walked passed you to get in. Why didn't you tell me - he could've seen my team sheet for the quarter finals!

M - Who are you on about - no-one has called in, phoned or even mailed you all day?

SJM - some bloke was in here! he said something about by the by or something and everything would be arranged? I didn't get a word in before he'd legged it back out again!
...
-------------------------------------
OOC: Been doing some research/archiving. WC6 it was.

02-11-2003, 20:55

All across the Free Land of Evisceratomatoes, hot-air balloons were taking off. Nate-Hurr E. Visser, Wisest of his race, had ordered the evacuation of the entire Evisceratomato population to a new promised land on the shores of FIFA. "Can't trust the Creator, don't want to live near her, can't sleep, Creator'll get me," he said.

The balloons stopped en route in the Grand Duchy of Hell Bovines for the sixth Evisceratomato football match. Once again, the Evisceratomatoes' anti-splatter coating worked, and for the second match running, No Evisceratomatoes lost their lives. This marks a new record in national history.

It was a close thing, though. The Evisceratomatoes looked about them as they entered the stadium. Cows. Cows everywhere. Walking on their hind legs. Talking. Being friendly. What's a poor sentient vegetable to think?

"I think they want to eat me," said Urk Pulpy, who like many Evisceratomato players recently changed his name to honour his Zucchini heritage. "Look at them, licking their lips. I don't want to become cud!"

The Bovines denied any intention to eat the Evisceratomatoes, having some had some experience themselves with opposing players who suddenly get the munchies. But it was no good: the Evisceratomatoes' composure was shattered, and they played nervoulsy, tentatively, afraid to tackle any Bovines too hard or even get too close. The result, inevitably, was more long balls and running away from the charging Bovine strikers.

With Ron Goldenspot's goal, the Evisceratomatoes' fate was sealed. A 1-0 loss was in the cards. Urk Jones had the Evisceratomatoes' best chance with a long shot, but it was not that good a chance. "We'll do better next time," said defender Urk Tamale-Underhill. "Or my name isn't ... uh, what was my new name again? I know it was Urk something."

Following the match, the balloons went aloft again, and the Evisceratomatoes set down on unclaimed land in FIFA. They immediately began to till the land and entwine with each other sensually. "A new and fertile beginning, my little onions!" exclaimed wise old Nate. "A great new start! I think we'll win our next match now, my little papayas!"

Busby

02-11-2003, 22:56

OOC: Sorry for not posting but i have been really busy. Will be posting later in the week.

Ravenspire

03-11-2003, 00:22

Matchday 7 results (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1997972#1997972) and tables are posted.

03-11-2003, 02:06

Dragons land 1st win of World Cup Qualifying Stage in The Lair

HOLY IMPERIAL CITY,DRAGONIA (DP)- The young Dragonian squad may not have a shot of qualifying for world cup 9, but thier was no lack of motivation as the Dragons shone in a 3-1 victory over struggling side, One Blue Dot, in front of 75,783 fans at the famed 'Dragon's Lair.'

The Dragons started the game on the attack and made early advancements on the Blue Dot goalkeeper. The creative play of tricky winger, Hobb Grubb, created havoc for the defesne and assisted on the first goal for the Dragons as his needle-precision cross found Mario Djurgart's head for the goal.

After the early strike, the Dragons layed back for a while all played an all defensive strategy. The end of the first half saw a major injury blow for the Dragons, as Lólindir Oronar was stretchered off with a knee injury which will keep him out for the next 5 games.

The second half turned into the Lissësúl Sargent show as he found the back of the net twice, scoring his second and third goal of the campaign.

Clearwater

03-11-2003, 02:29

"Hello, I am Mike Vick for INN-S. I came to the Clearwater Braves lockeroom to interview Coach Sanders. When I came in I saw this distirbing sight. Please I warn You, this is graphic."

The pitchure switches and We see Coach Sanders pick up a landury bin. "You stupid -------! Can't win a game, why? Is it a ------- sin?!" With this he throughs the landry bin across the room. Then he walks over and kicks one of the offenceive players. "That's a ---- kick! Remember it You ------------! You know what? Forget it ------. I quit." With this he storms out of the lockeroom.

"I am now standing with the New head coach of the Braves. Linda Garret. Coach Garret, what are Your plans for the team?" Coach Garret smiles. "Well first, I plan to remove the fear that is in this team. Get them back to a differant basics. We are going to have fun now."

Bedistan

03-11-2003, 02:31

[Radio transmission - BDFM 105.9 FM (Columbia) - broadcasting from Nikea]

Roger: Hello, sports fans! You're listening to World Cup Nine qualifying action here on BDFM-FM one-oh-five-nine, Columbia's number one sports radio source. This broadcast is, as always, brought to you by PariMedia Sports and PariSouth Airlines. I'm Roger Stout, live from Nikea, where the Lions are about to take the field in this highly-anticipated match. Here with me in the studio is the one and only George Edmunds.

George: Thanks much, Roger. It's a beautiful day in Nikea today, an absolutely lovely day for football. A perfect day for the Bedistan Lions to snag their sixth win of qualifying.

Roger: Very much so. Coach Barber has made the decision to field the full normal starting lineup. He's taking the Nikean team very seriously, as they've been doing well in Group 3 so far.

George: And I'm sure he's happy to be able to let Chuck Mitchell play again. As you know, he was suspended after the Halfassedstates match for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Roger: Speaking of which, I hear James Milton is appealing to the WCC to be credited with that goal. You know, the one that bounced off the official's foot?

George: Oh he is, is he? Quite frankly, that goal shouldn't have been counted at all. Stupid official, not paying attention to the match. That should've been a 0-0 draw.

Roger: Well, we can't change that now. What we can do, though, is win here in Nikea today to keep us atop the group. Kickoff is in just a few minutes, so we will take a short break and be right back with the action here on BDFM one-oh-five-nine, live from Nikea.

[cut to commercials]

The Weegies

03-11-2003, 03:48

Weegies Star Sport Report.

After the loss today against Dennisov, manager James Mackintyre blamed the lack of home support that day.

"I don't know why the stadium wasn't packed today. About half of the seats around the home side didn't even have a paper and a cup of Xikuang tea on them, where the person next to them was resting them. That's another thing. Papers and cups of tea?! It's a pie and Bovril or nothing round here normally! We didn't hear much of a shout round our side. Most of what we got was an occasional groan. That isn't good for morale, especially when you're used to 35,000 screaming fans behind you. Meanwhile the Dennisov support were shouting, chanting, doing all the stuff fans should do."

There seems to be a reason for that, however...

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, God..." said a spokesman for the Weegies Supporters Association, while clutching a packet of Alka-Seltzer. "What in hell do you expect? We've been partying for a week after beating Kingsford 2-0. Half of us were so drunk we couldn't even remember when the next game was. And the other half... major hangover, you know. You can't cheer very well when it feels as if the entire Celdonian Navy is being pulled through your head. We should be alright for Lemmitania, though. Now leave me alone. I need sleep."

It was, however, a decent performance from The Weegies, with the sheer class of the former World Cup winners finally winning through with a fine strike from outside the box in the 64th minute, beating Devopoulous to gain Dennisov the three points. The Weegies created a few chances, some troubling the keeper, giving the Dennisov side things to think about throughout the match. But it was not to be. And so unranked wonderteam Terranos take the lead in the group once again, although even though Dennisov won, The Weegies are still second in the group.

Team:

Devopoulous, Tommy (GK)
Black, John (DL)
Mardot, Jack (DC)
Hussain, Lemar (DC) (booked - 36th minute)
Harris, Lyle (DR)
De Bruis, Peter (ML)
Mahé, Steven (MC)
Anderson, Lyle (MC)
Kincaid, Fred (MR)
McDuff, Brian (SC) (sub - Jorgenson, Eric, 75th minute, booked 84th minute)
Smith, Jamie (SC)

The Weegies

03-11-2003, 03:49

Weegies Star Sport Report

Another good result for us at home, but unfortuately, we dropped another place today, down to third. However, the fans will take consolation in the fact that we drew against 12th seeds Lemmitania.

The team looked nervous as they entered the pitch, possibly remembering the defeat laid out to them by another large seed, Quohog, 8 years ago in World Cup Seven. It was a massive 6-0 blowout, not something The Weegies wanted to repeat against seasoned opposition.

And it looked as if it were going to be that way, ith two goals banged in in close succession by Lemmitania, Helen Mellon grabbing the first after 14 minutes, a low cross resulting in a close range strike from the Lemmitanian player, and then not more than five minutes later, another close-quarter strike led to the Lemmitanians going 2-0 up.

Mackintyre then seemed to abandon his dour, defensive strategy that he seemed to have adopted once more, and started making the players play a counter-attacking game. Although this did not pay dividends immediately, with scant chances from the Weegie side, it was to pay off in the second half.

A short attack from Lemmitania led to a quick counter from De Bruis, providing Mahé in the area wth the chance to catch Lemmitania off guard. And so they did, with a shot sailing past the keeper and providing The Weegies with a lifeline.

And then, in the 72nd minute, it came. Smith was brought down in the area with a sloppy tackle, and a penalty was given. A quick blast at goal gave the Weegies the equaliser, and the much-needed point.

Devopoulous, Tommy (GK)
Black, John (DL)
Mardot, Jack (DC)
Hussain, Lemar (DC)
Harris, Lyle (DR)
De Bruis, Peter (ML)
Mahé, Steven (MC) (goal - 48th minute)
Anderson, Lyle (MC)
Kincaid, Fred (MR)
McDuff, Brian (SC)
Smith, Jamie (SC) (goal - 72nd minute)

Lemmitania

03-11-2003, 03:56

Live from Lemmington, this is Glick Masterson with the World Cup Roundup. Midway through qualifying, the Lemmings are looking a bit bruised and battered, and find themselves fourth in their group, just outside of a qualifying position. Here to discuss the situation are LRN's own Grant Rockson and the Dean of Lemmitanian Sports, Clem Gilson. Gentlemen, welcome to the broadcast.

Grant: Thanks, Glick.

Clem: Glad to be here, Glick.

Glick: So after seven matches the Lemmings are a mediocre 3-3-1, a far cry from the 9-0-1 record they racked up in World Cup 8 qualifying. Thought?

Clem: The offense really hasn't been performing. Nine goals in seven matches, while not pathetic, isn't going to get too many teams into the World Cup.

Grant: It's pathetic.

Clem: I just said it isn't pathetic.

Grant: Wot, an' your word is law, then?

Clem: You wouldn't know a pathetic offensive performance if it bit you on the ass.

Grant: If it bit me on the ass, I'd prolly suspect it of being one of the larger members of the caiman family.

Clem: Anyway, It really looks like the offense hasn't been firing on all cylinders.

Grant: Wot's that mean?

Clem: It's an automotive metaphor.

Grant: A wot?

Clem: Automotive metaphor.

Grant: An' wot would that be?

Clem: You know what a metaphor is, I hope?

Grant: Sure. It's the automotical part I don't follow.

Clem: You've been in Lemmitania so long you've forgotten what a car is?

Grant: Apparently.

Clem: While they're banned in Lemmitania, they're the most common means of transportation in most of the world. They run on internal combustion, which involves small amounts of an explosive fuel being detonated in little chambers to force cylinders up and down. Thus if a car isn't firing on all cylinders, it has reduced power.

Grant: An' thus scores fewer goals?

Clem: Yeah, that's it exactly. The car doesn't score as many goals.

Glick: The Lemmings started off well; at 3-1-0, they were leading the group. But they haven't won any of the past three matches.

Clem: That, to me, is the real cause for concern. Overall, I wouldn't worry aboutthe record; I'd figure there's still plenty of time. But once we started facing ranked opponents, it was like a different team out there on the field. The 1-0 loss to Dennisov, and then draws with Kingsford at 1-all and The Weegies at 2-all. After surrendering two goals in four matches, Joe Lally's given up four in the last three.

Glick: We talked at the start of qualifying about concerns surrounding Coach Mickelson's selections this time around, and Lally was one of those concerns.

Clem: And how hot and cold he plays. Not to be too hard on him, six goals in seven matches is fine; but when the offense isn't producing, the defense needs to step it up and be that much better. And instead, he's been showing signs of weakness at the worst possible time.

Glick: Another concern was Helen Mellon, but she's continued to play well.

Clem: She went a couple of matches without scoring, but she got one against the Weegies, and leads the team so far this Cup. I think Mickelson's going to leave her in.

Glick: And that about wraps up the time we have. Don't forget that we're just days away from the contractually-mandated "Into the Hellmouth" broadcast with your own Grant Rockson and Clem Gilson!

Clem: Oh, how we're looking forward to that.

Grant: 'ow'd those bastards at LRN sneak that in, is wot I'd like to know?

Glick: For all of us here at Lemmitanian Radio Network, this is Glick Masterson saying good night!

Oglethorpia

03-11-2003, 04:20

The Maracaibo Post

Northern neighbors bested at futebol
Oglethorpia faces Tanah Burung -- comes out 2nd in group 8

TANAH BURUNG - Oglethorpia's World Cup-squad would take on the Crocodiles of Tanah Burung, Oglethorpia's geographic neighbor to the northeast; the Oglethorpian squad came in confident off a win against Demonic Beings.

"We'd just beat Demonic Beings playing to their home crowd," said team captain Fernando Green going into the Oglethorpia-Tanah Burung match.

The Crocodiles of Tanah Burung struck early and hard, Taur Matan Ruak curving one in in the 20th right over Yamamoto-san's head.

"At that moment, I was more worried about my head than the goal," Yamamoto-san commented after the game.

Torrence Black had the equalizer in the 31st, a header off midfielder Floyd Black's cross. The Crocodiles answered, though, their second coming only a couple minutes after Oglethorpia's goal. Mike Brown fouled Yosepha Syahrir, who proceeded to capitalize on the free kick, a magnificent kick only inches away from goalkeeper Yamamoto's hands.

"Luckily, those were the only two goals I gave up," said the goalkeeper -- for they were. Kirk Calhoun and Jorge White would each have their own goals in the 42nd and 54th minutes respectively.

Fernando Green, team captain rounded out the match with a goal in the 76th minute, full time ending, Oglethorpia 4, Crocodiles 2.

"It's a great victory, though of-recent-times the Crocodiles have fallen in the world rankings," commented Fernando Green. "Hopefully they'll rebound from the WC8 finish this Cup, since the Crocodiles are definitely a World Cup establishment."

More on Oglethorpia's world cup bid as it comes -- matchday eight coming upon us.

Spaam

03-11-2003, 04:27

Final score:
Bedistan 0
Halfassedstates 1 [Spaamanian official 68]

WOOHOO! We're scoring even in matches we're not in ;)

Tanah Burung

03-11-2003, 05:39

DAILY CROCODILE

Crocs struggle to recover after pair of losses

Tanah Burung fans are nervous after falling from first to third after a pair of home losses, causing some fans to join religious cults that claim to have the secret to World Cup success. Gaining new members are:
- the church of the planes of energy, which claims that nothing has been quite right with the universe since the destruction of Alasdair I Frosticus and that evil emanates from a hellmouth in Lemmitania,
- the church of Margaret, which believes the secret of success is to sacrifice more chickens,
- the church of the wandering country, which blames recent defeats on the sudden discovery that Tanah Burung is part of the Emerald Heights, and not as had been previously suspected, the continent of babble,
- the Catholic Church, which believes nothing much to do with football, but offers convenient large-screen televisions in several of its churches.

"Now look," said Crocodiles coach Bi Kikere. "There is no need for a stampede to the prayer-factories. The simple fact is we are seeded fourth in this group, and we have just lost to the top two seeds in successive matches. We're currently sitting in a qualifying spot, and are only three points from the leaders, Snub Nose 20. There is no cause for alarm. I repeat, there is no cause for alarm. We are playing well for a team that is rebuilding, and we are well positioned to qualify for the World Cup, if we can continue our strong play through the second half of qualifiers."

Defari

03-11-2003, 05:56

Liverpool England

03-11-2003, 06:14

Headlines seen in Defarian newspapers:

"NATIONAL TEAM BOTTOM DWELLERS AGAIN" The Daily Lion, Sutton

"LIONS DISSAPOINT IN ANOTHER LOSS" Borough City Times

"LIONS RANKED, UNDESERVING" Borough City Press

"LIONS LOSERS LATELY" Defari Gazette

"BATISTA DOES IT ALL IN DEFARIAN LOSS" Batistaton News

"LIONS PLAYING WELL, NOTHING HAPPENING ON TABLE" Defarian Soccer Weekly

Great.
moose = Tranquilitis, or Runaway Moose (first to use nickname).

but now,
Lions = Defari, or Beditan (first to use nickname).

Too many same nicknames.

Oglethorpia

03-11-2003, 06:18

GEORGE MCDOUGLAS, FUTEBOL DIRECTOR SEZ:

Runaway Moose = Moose.
Tranquilitis = Other Moose.

Bedistan = Lions.
Defari = Other Lions.

'nuff said.

03-11-2003, 06:44

A border crossing, somewhere in FIFA. A jolly red-faced fat man, or so he appears, shakes hands with a shady-looking Gilmeecian gentleman. Even more shady-looking than most Gilmeecian gentlemen. "My humble vegetable people thank you, my little pods," he says to the Gilmeecian, who just stares at him blankly and holds out his hand for a bag of cash.

---

Some time later. A dark lab. A crypt, really. Atop a slab, a pile of red goo. Nate-Hurr E. Visser -- for it is he -- chants above the goo, sprinkling on it an unidentified white substance, reading aloud from a book:

My vegetable love should grow,
Vaster than empires, and more slow*

The goo congeals, shudderingly. It takes on a rounder and more solid form. The form, indeed, of an Evisceratomato.

"Elvis! Elvis, my little eggplant!" Nate exclaims, chortling. (This is not a pretty sight. Imagine a tomato chortling, and you'll know what i mean.) "You're back! You're alive, i mean, undead!"

The goal keeper, Elvis Irate -- for it is him -- rises, slowly, squelchingly. "Brains?" he asks. "Wizard brains?"

---

Later still. The National Clearing in the Evisceratomato Patch. All the Free Land is gathered for their first home game in their new country, against the Warnocks Wizards. "Excel, my teeny beanies," Nate calls out to the team.

The Evisceratomatoes come out strong at first, buoyed by home field advantage and the return of their goal keeper. Once again, they are cushioned from impact and do not appear to be splattering easily. An early chance for Eve Isser-Kernigit off a perfectly executed cross by Macht Milk is foiled, and the Wizards began, slowly, to take control. But Irate in goal, although slower than he used to be, catches everything the Wizards can throw at him.

At one point, fecund Evisceratomato fans begin to grow over the pitch in front of the Evisceratomato goal. They refuse to move for the referee, and it's left to Globdreg the Destroyer to face them down. "I sure hope you won't go back to your Evisceratomato Patch," he says. "We'll do what we like, suh," they reply. "Well, whatever you do, don't toss yourselves back into that there Evisceratomato Patch," says crafty ol' Globdreg. "Please don't do that!"

Well, the Evisceratomatoes, they don't like being tol' what to do, no they don't. "Why, then, we'll just throw ourselves back into the Evisceratomato Patch, we will," they say. And, well, y'all know what they gone and did? They throwed themselves back into their Evisceratomato Patch. And sly Globdreg, why he went and scored! So fast, po' Brer Elvis didn't know what to do about it. 1-0, Wizards. Curtain.

---

Even a bit later still. The post-match party. The Evisceratomatoes, beaten but unbowed. "Concentration, my kidnies," Nate said, "concentration is the secret. Entwine, couple, devour, creep upon them, and we're certain to win. Persist, my lovely cucumbers, persist!"

*Andrew Marvell, "To His Coy Mistress"

03-11-2003, 06:47

Great.
moose = Tranquilitis, or Runaway Moose (first to use nickname).

but now,
Lions = Defari, or Beditan (first to use nickname).

Too many same nicknames.

Used to be, the Canadian Football League* had nine teams. Two of them were called the Rough Riders.

(* Football meaning American football. Or in this case, Canadian football, which is American football without so many downs and a longer field. Just to confuse things more.)

Oglethorpia

03-11-2003, 06:48

PAUL BAKER, PROMULGATION DIRECTOR SEZ:

Nate E. Visser! A scientists who can be compared with the likes of Herbert West and other such mad scientists!

---

HERBERT WEST, MAD SCIENTIST SEZ:

Bringin' back dead stuff is fun.

The Belmore Family

03-11-2003, 07:41

http://www.abelmore.com/TDB.JPG
TBF win again
TBF have now just got our 4th consecutive win and have now only lost 2 matches in 20 games. It's amazing. Alan Belmore again did all the hard work, scoring a hatrick of goals, catapaulting the team onto equal points with Kaze Progressa.

Match Report
This was an easy one for TBF, Kergama, unranked their first cup. Alan showed his presence over them, showing them who was incharge of this match, scoring from a free kick from about 30 yards after only 4 minutes, the next came from a greagt cross from Laurence Wellden which Alan tapped nicely into the back of the net.The final goal came from a sloppy penalty.

FINAL SCORE

KERGANA 0

THE BELMORE FAMILY 3
Alan Belmore (4, 26,79)

Half-Time 2-0
Attendance 60,000

Rejistania

03-11-2003, 07:48

Headlines seen in Defarian newspapers:

"NATIONAL TEAM BOTTOM DWELLERS AGAIN" The Daily Lion, Sutton

"LIONS DISSAPOINT IN ANOTHER LOSS" Borough City Times

"LIONS RANKED, UNDESERVING" Borough City Press

"LIONS LOSERS LATELY" Defari Gazette

"BATISTA DOES IT ALL IN DEFARIAN LOSS" Batistaton News

"LIONS PLAYING WELL, NOTHING HAPPENING ON TABLE" Defarian Soccer Weekly

To make the press review not so one-sided, here are some translated headlines from rejistanian newspapers:

"HEXEN SAVES THE VICTORY" Desnike City News

"LYKU SCORES TWICE" Hetkali Daily

"QUALIFICATION NEAR" KaMaRi Update

"2-1! GREAT GAME FOR THE ORANGE-BLUES" Na-ovi News

"DEFARI DEFEATED" Sikenian Daily

03-11-2003, 09:57

The Daily Propaganda - Afternoon Edition

Seventh Straight Loss Beats Almost All Records

Yet again, the High Council has decreed that The Oppressed Peoples of One Blue Dot's World Cup Football Team has lost for the seventh consecutive time despite many warnings and several disciplinary actions. The 1-3 loss against The Dragonian Empire was uncalled for and the High Council is looking at a more severe action. If the action is successful, it will be implemented in all aspects of law and order.

This is the table supplied by the NationStates World Cup:
[code:1:71ae5c3420]Group 9 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Gilmeecia (17) 7 6 0 1 12 5 7 18
Total n Utter Insanity (49) 7 5 1 1 12 3 9 16
Giant Zucchini (11) 7 4 2 1 12 5 7 14
Auir II 7 4 1 2 10 8 2 13
Bullonien (26) 7 2 2 3 9 4 5 8
Morawny 7 2 1 4 3 9 -6 7
The Dragonian Empire (55) 7 1 1 5 5 13 -8 4
One Blue Dot 7 0 0 7 4 19 -15 0[/code:1:71ae5c3420]

OBD World Cup Record:
[code:1:71ae5c3420]
World Cup WC9
Matches Played 7

Wins 0
Draws 0
Losses 7

Goals For 4
Average GF 0.57
Goals Against 19
Average GA 2.71
Goal Diff. –15
Average GD -2.14

Total Matches 7

Acc. Wins 0
Acc. Draws 0
Acc. Losses 7

Accumulated GF 4
Ave. Acc. GF 0.57
Accumulated GA 19
Ave. Acc. GA 2.71
Accumulated GD -15
Ave. Acc. GD -2.14

Average Opp. Rank 65.86
Highest Opp. Rank 11
Lowest Opp. Rank 150

Pre-Match Rank 150

*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.[/code:1:71ae5c3420]

OBD Match Fixtures
One Blue Dot v Total n Utter Insanity (49) @ ‘Freedom is Poverty’ Stadium
Bullonien (29) v One Blue Dot @ Bullonien
One Blue Dot v Gilmeecia (17) @ ‘Key of Discipline’ Stadium
Giant Zucchini (11) v One Blue Dot @ Giant Zucchini
Morawny v One Blue Dot @ Morawny
One Blue Dot v Auir II @ Stadium of the High Council
The Dragonian Empire (55) v One Blue Dot @ The Dragonian Empire

One Red Dot

03-11-2003, 10:24

The Freedom Papers – Afternoon Edition

Win Over Kaze Brings ORD Closer to Top

Confusion was cleared up yesterday when the National Team went up against The Belmore Family for the second take of Day 1. What was meant to be an exciting match at the Royal Red Dot National Stadium brought nothing as both sides claimed a 0-0 draw. Boriiiiiiiiiing.

In Day 6, ORD lost to WC8 champions Liverpool England 1-2. It was a close match as Komoko Goharu score the lone goal at the 56th minute for ORD as LE took their win.

In Day 7, it was high spirits for ORD as they produced a goal-full match, defeating Kaze Progressa 3-2. Chris Johnson and Arnold Marks each scored a goal in either halves, but were quickly neutralised by KP's two goals. It seemed like yet another draw was to befall ORD when substitute Daniel Hamilton scored a goal at the 82nd minute, bringing the final win to ORD.

ORD now lies second to Liverpool England.
[code:1:a28502f370]Group 1 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Liverpool England (1) 7 6 1 0 15 4 11 19
One Red Dot (29) 7 4 2 1 11 6 5 14
Kaze Progressa (59) 7 4 1 2 11 8 3 13
The Belmore Family (13) 7 4 1 2 9 5 4 13
Kegarna 7 2 2 3 7 10 -3 8
Soviet Haaregrad 7 2 1 4 4 8 -4 7
God Squad (42) 7 1 1 5 4 11 -7 4
Zeronia (79) 7 0 1 6 2 11 -9 1[/code:1:a28502f370]

ORD World Cup Record:
[code:1:a28502f370]
World Cup WC4 WC5 WC6 WC7 WC8 WC9
Matches Played 9 10 17 13 13 7

Wins 3 5 9 9 6 4
Draws 3 0 7 1 2 2
Losses 3 5 1 3 5 1

Goals For 9 17 31 31 22 11
Average GF 1.00 1.70 1.82 2.38 1.69 1.57
Goals Against 10 16 16 9 19 6
Average GA 1.11 1.60 0.94 0.69 1.46 0.86
Goal Diff. –1 +1 +15 +22 +3 +5
Average GD -0.11 0.11 0.88 1.69 0.23 0.71

Total Matches 9 19 36 49 62 69

Acc. Wins 3 8 17 26 32 36
Acc. Draws 3 3 10 11 13 15
Acc. Losses 3 8 9 12 17 18

Accumulated GF 9 26 57 88 110 121
Ave. Acc. GF 1.00 1.37 1.58 1.80 1.77 1.75
Accumulated GA 10 26 42 51 70 76
Ave. Acc. GA 1.11 1.37 1.17 1.04 1.13 1.10
Accumulated GD -1 0 +15 +37 +40 +45
Ave. Acc. GD -0.11 0 0.42 0.76 0.65 0.65

Average Opp. Rank 64.67 65.20 52.80 53.38 91.38 70.57
Highest Opp. Rank 12 5 8 7 21 1
Lowest Opp. Rank 100 100 100 100 150 150

Pre-Match Rank 100 27 30 22 16 29

*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.[/code:1:a28502f370]

ORD Match Fixtures Day 8~14
Day 8: The Belmore Family (13)v One Red Dot (29) @ The Belmore Family
Day 9: One Red Dot (29) v Zeronia @ Burrington Stadium
Day 10: God Squad (42) v One Red Dot (29) @ God Squad
Day 11: One Red Dot (29) v Kegarna @ Gweridijong City Stadium
Day 12: Soviet Haaregrad v One Red Dot (29) @ Soviet Haaregrad
Day 13: Liverpool England (1) v One Red Dot (29) @ Liverpool England
Day 14: One Red Dot (29)v Kaze Progressa (59) @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium

Halfassedstates

03-11-2003, 10:42

Kaze Progressa

03-11-2003, 11:34

From the Daily Kangaroo:

ALL IN VAIN

A Faiwe Irafma-led recovery was not enough to prevent Kaze Progressa falling to their first defeat of the campaign in the Progressair Stadium, losing 3-2 to One Red Dot.

The Progressans started brightly in front of a sell-out 60,000 crowd, most of whom were rooting for the home side. News of Belmore Family taking the lead in Kegarna after just four minutes did nothing to dull the mood, but a weak effort from Ekazen Waulino when clean through on goal certainly did. The resultant clearance from Stanley Matthews was a huge one, and fell straight to Chris Johnson, who beat Jaruna Jaff with worrying ease before slotting the ball calmly past Eaka Palera. The ORD side had taken just eleven minutes to break the deadlock, and nearly doubled the lead just three minutes later, Johnson testing Palera with a powerful shot from 25 yards.

The Progressans seemed to lose heart after going behind. The ORD players clearly knew Irafma was the key player, and both Aki Kuhiraku and captain Jin Koizumi man-marked him. Waulino was left space as a result but seemed unable to beat Matthews, two weak efforts late in the first half summing up his game. At half-time he was replaced by Fayu Owa, known for turning a game round on its head. He nearly did that within two minutes of the start of the second half, a volley from the edge of the penalty area deflecting off Kuhiraku over the bar when it looked to be heading goalwards. The resultant corner was nearly met by Owa, but was punched away by Matthews, and the resultant breakaway left Johnson one-on-one with Palera. His shot was edged away by Garaz Zarli, but fell straight to Arnold Marks who easily shot into a barely-guarded net.

This time the response was dramatic. Irafma finally got round Kuhiraku within two minutes of the kickoff, moving left towards Koizumi leaving him only one defender to beat. Koizumi viciously bought him down, earning a yellow card for himself and a free kick for Kaze Progressa. Owa's free kick was saved by Matthews but Irafma was in the right place to net the rebound, and the fans finally had something to cheer about.

An unlikely revival had occured, and the ORD side were totally outplayed for much of the second half, Owa's trickery leaving the defense bamboozled. His overhead kick from a high clearance from Matthews on 65 minutes was not what anyone was expecting, but took Kuhiraku out of the game and left the route clear for Irafma to beat Koizumi and slam the ball into the top corner. The Progressans were level, and the fans knew that Soviet Haaregrad were holding Liverpool England to a 0-0 draw at this point. If that result remained and the Progressans gained a winner, they would be within a point of the champions at the halfway stage of qualifying.

But inevitably, Dussis scored for Liverpool England, and no sooner had news of this filtered through the 60,000 fans than Daniel Hamilton came on. He nearly scored with his first touch, slamming the ball against the outside of the post from a corner. The Progressans continued to push forward for the winner, but were unstuck as an Irafma attempt to complete a historic hat-trick was deflected by Koizumi, who beat Failez, Manuweli and MacKazie before his cross found the head of Hamilton. With just eight minutes left, ORD had the lead again.

There was still time for an equaliser, and Mowgi Jugla replaced Jaruna Jaff in a desperate attempt to produce one, but it never came, Owa hitting the bar from 25 yards in injury time and Jugla hitting the post from the rebound. The moment summed up everything for the Progressans, who now fall to fourth in the table on goal difference (though the official table states third - rumours have it that the rules may have been changed so that the result of the match between tied sides determines which is ahead, implying the famous 2-0 victory over Belmore had placed the Progressans ahead).

Liverpool England

03-11-2003, 11:40

Defending Champs continue good unbeaten run, defeat Soviet Haaregrad 2-0: LE are now 6-1-0

Liverpool England 2 [Dussis 67, 89]
Soviet Haaregrad 0

One of the main reasons for Haaregrad's loss is that they fielded a reserve team - a terrible mistake to make against the defending champions. Only one team has ever retained the World Cup, Brazilico for WC5/6. Liverpool England are aiming to be only the second team to do that, for WC 8 and 9.

[code:1:c022ea1f8d]
Group 1 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Liverpool England (1) 7 6 1 0 15 4 11 19
One Red Dot (29) 7 4 2 1 11 6 5 14
Kaze Progressa (59) 7 4 1 2 11 8 3 13
The Belmore Family (13) 7 4 1 2 9 5 4 13
Kegarna 7 2 2 3 7 10 -3 8
Soviet Haaregrad 7 2 1 4 4 8 -4 7
God Squad (42) 7 1 1 5 4 11 -7 4
Zeronia (79) 7 0 1 6 2 11 -9 1[/code:1:c022ea1f8d]

Experts predicitons:

Liverpool England 1st (25-35 points)
One Red Dot 2nd (20-28 points)
The Belmore Family vs Kaze Progressa Third place tiebreaker
God Squad 5th (10 - 15 points)
Kegarna 6th (10-13 points)
Soviet Haaregrad 7th (10-12 points)
Zeronia 8th (3-5 points)

OOC: Sorry KP but you'll havta change your post. have changed minute of goals tho.

Spaam, edited.

Liverpool England

03-11-2003, 11:43

The Progressans were level, and the fans knew that Soviet Haaregrad were holding Liverpool England to a 0-0 draw at this point. If that result remained and the Progressans gained a winner, they would be within a point of the champions at the halfway stage of qualifying.

But inevitably, Caddy Cannon scored for Liverpool England, and no sooner had news of this filtered through the 60,000 fans than Daniel Hamilton came on. He nearly scored with his first touch, slamming the ball against the outside of the post from a corner. The Progressans continued to push forward for the winner, but were unstuck as an Irafma attempt to complete a historic hat-trick was deflected by Koizumi, who beat Failez, Manuweli and MacKazie before his cross found the head of Hamilton. With just eight minutes left, ORD had the lead again.

Erm, KP... check my scorers

Spaam

03-11-2003, 11:43

One of the main reasons for Haaregrad's loss is that they fielded a reserve team - a terrible mistake to make against the defending champions. Only one team has ever retained the World Cup, Brazilico for WC2/3. Liverpool England are aiming to be only the second team to do that, for WC 8 and 9.

WTF? They did it in WC5 and WC6....

Halfassedstates

03-11-2003, 11:54

*We are at Sowhatsville main station. There are numerous people milling on the platform waiting for the arrival of the 14.30 express. No-one special grabs our attention, although there are a couple of 'business men' hanging around the phone booths.*

Agent 4 - So who are we looking for?

Agent 3 - Whoever it is she is meeting!

A4 - and we know that how?

A3 - we don't - shut-up the trains just pulling up!
*The 14.30 express arrives, surprisingly it is on time - the first time in Halfassed history that this has happened. It's almost as though someone was willing it to be on time!!*

Margaret gets off the train and heads towards the main exit. As she heads towards the taxi rank, she bumps into a young girl.

Maragret - Are you ok dear?

Girl - Yes auntie - Nana is waiting for you at home, but she says that you are being followed, so i have to take you home.
*Margaret somehow manages to keep a straight face - she knew those two men had followed her from the airport, but she didn't know that Meg had a daughter!*

Margaret - *slightly loudly as though she wanted to be overheard* Ok I'll take you to the police station and we'll see if they can find your mama!

Girl - eh... oh - *loudly* thank-you

*Margaret and the girl wander off down the street and are soon lost in the crowd - meanwhile there is a hurried chat amoung the agents*

A2 - where'd they go?

A3 - don't worry, she bumped into a lost little girl and is taking her to the police station. We'll get her there!

A1 - cool - so we have time for lunch first then!

A3 - excellent!

A2 - emmm - anyone else wonder how a SN38 citizen can walk into Sowhatsville and know exactly where the police station is??

A3 - so she'll have to stop for directions - even longer for lunch!

A1 - sweet!

A2 - I think she ain't going no-where near the police ya dumb shumks. Shes had this planned all along!

A4 - awww cr@p - quick get after them

A1 - before lunch?

A4 - yes before lunch you idiot! the general will rip your stomache out if we don't find out what shes up to this time!

*as we watch the four 'agents' split into their pairs and head off in search of the mystery girl and the woman known as Margaret*

Lanky dude

03-11-2003, 14:17

Lanky United beat Clearwater 2-1, after two brilliant headers from lanky smith. Their striker was huge!!!

Still a good mathc for the leg powered lanky team :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :) :) :) :) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) :P :P :P :P :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

Spaam

03-11-2003, 14:25

Bedistan

03-11-2003, 14:39

A memorial service will be held at Holmes Stadium in Columbia this afternoon to mourn the loss of the greatest footballing nation NationStates has ever known -- the Jingoistic States of Brazillico, winners of both World Cup 5 and 6. The service is public and will take place at 2:00.

:cry:

Kaze Progressa

03-11-2003, 14:46

Brazillico are an ex-nation now? :O :'(

Kaze Progressa's former manager Chares Catrar, who led the national side out against Brazillico for the Progressans' first ever international game, will be attending, as will Progressan star player Faiwe Irafma who scored in that match, which Brazillico won 2-1.

Spaam

03-11-2003, 14:47

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! :cry: :cry: :cry:

President Fin DeCáno of United Spaam will be attending, along with
Spaam National Coach Lehua Hoopai, and Minister for Sports, Maglor
Helin.

Spaam will miss the only team that beat them in World Cup VI.

Halfassedstates

03-11-2003, 15:09

Halfassedstates will be represented at the service by current footballing team coach Jarvis Smith and by King Jimmy.
Despite never having had the opportunity to play aginst the great nation, Brazillico were an example to all and an inspiration for the early Halfassedstates sides.
The founders of the FIFA region will be sorely missed.

Bedistan

03-11-2003, 15:58

[Some weirdness going on with a particular placement of the moon in the area caused the radio feed from Nikea to cut off. Unfortunately, we are unable to bring you the remainder of the broadcast.]

Bedistan, Nikea Draw; Halfassed Now Number One

NIKEA -- A well-played match by Bedistan and Nikea in Nikea yesterday unfortunately led to a disappointment for both sides, walking away with just one point each.

Darren Morlock opened the scoring early after a pass from Young in the 10th minute. The ball then basically went back and forth between the Lions and Pandas for most of the first half, until Morlock got hold of it again in the 34th and slammed another one into the right side of the net. Bedistan was flying high, up 2-0 at halftime.

Chuck Mitchell was performing very, very well in the opening qualifying matches, not allowing a single goal in the first four games. After his return from suspension, though, he doesn't seem to be doing quite so well. Two otherwise benign Nikean shots somehow managed to work their way past him in the second half. "I don't know what's wrong with me," said Mitchell after the match. "Now that I'm finally on the starting team, it seems as though I'm already getting too old for this," he joked. At the age of 35, it is likely that this will be Mitchell's last Cup.

Final score:
Nikea 2 (both in second half) (OOC: I'll let Nikea decide who and when.)
Bedistan 2 (Morlock 10, 34)

Snub Nose 38

03-11-2003, 16:15

loads of stuff about Gilmeecians and Evisceratomatoes coming 'back to life' (if thats what the undead can bwe called!)

Awww cr@p - first we had zombies, then dire spiders now FIFA's got zombie evisceratomatoes!! :cry: :cry:

Help!!!
Doctor Albert Onestone of the Snub Nose 38 Academy of Science believes that, based on the recent discovery that "Evisceratomatoes" actually have a combinant DNA (evisceratomato DNA combined with sentient zucchini DNA from Giant Zucchini) this new threat would be termed "Zombie Evizuccomatoes" - or perhaps - "Zombie Evisceracchinis".

Doctor Onestone does find "Help!!!" completely appropriate.

Snub Nose 38

03-11-2003, 16:23

:shock: (well, maybe not so much :shock: as :cry: )

The Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 mourn the loss of Football Superpower Brazillico. Representing Snub Nose 38 at Holmes Stadium in Columbia, Bedistan at the memorial service will be The Minister of Athletics, Olympics and Alcoholic Beverages, and former Snub Nose 38 football hero Horatio.

Kaze Progressa

03-11-2003, 16:28

Kaze Progressa's Shadow Sports Minister, Viezaz Meqool, is also coming.

NASTIC 2

03-11-2003, 16:55

Nastic sports review

The Nastic world cup bid is starting to fade as they seem unable to turn draws into wins after drawing for the fourth time in seven games,At the halfway stage they are collecting points at the rate of one point per game.

Should that rate continue in the second half of their first campaign they will have 14 points and not enough to qualify for the World cup.

After the draw with Callmebernard which was an entertaning 3-3 draw the people of Nastic whilst extremely happy at the present state of affairs,They can only hope the current NS Olympic gold medalists can raise their game for the next seven games.

So the message from this newspaper must be GO Nastic......

Tables Post-Matchday 7

Day 1
Commerce Heights 2-2 NASTIC 2

Day 2
NASTIC 2 2-2 Errinundera

Day 3
Haraki 1-1 NASTIC 2

Day 4
NASTIC 2 0-4 Akbarland

Day 5
SterlingIce 2-1 NASTIC 2

Day 6
Eauz 1-2 NASTIC 2

Day 7
NASTIC 2 3-3 CallMeBernard

[code:1:545f98443d]

GROUP 2
P W D L F A PTS
Eauz (52) 7 5 0 2 11 7 15
Errinundera (15) 7 3 3 1 12 8 12
Haraki (2) 7 3 3 1 13 10 12
Commerce Heights (23) 7 3 1 3 10 10 10
Akbarland (37) 7 3 0 4 10 10 9
SterlingIce 7 2 1 4 7 8 7
NASTIC 2 7 1 4 2 11 15 7
CallMeBernard 7 1 2 4 8 14 5

[/code:1:545f98443d]

03-11-2003, 16:55

Globdreg’s Winner Destroys, Silences the Vegetable Patch

Warnocks Wizards Grind out 1-0 Victory at Eviseratomatoes

From our news services...

Matchday 7, Evisceratomatoes–Amidst some controversy, Warnocks Wizards found a way to grind out a 1-0 victory away at the vegetable nation of Evisceratomatoes last night. The match was marred by two pitch invasions and a bizarre eating incident late in the second half, which may lead to a lengthy suspension for Wizards winger Akhklash the Emaciated.

Manager Ufwurz the Furious made three changes to the side that drew with the Wildthings on matchday 6. Goalkeeper Ishhak the Smasher returned from injury and regained his starting spot. Bublok the Destroyer replaced the aging, injured Krumsnak the Sneaky in the starting eleven. And, Ghazghash the Sleazy earned a start after his fine contribution to the Wildthings match. Thus, the Wizards lined up in an attack minded 4-3-1-2, in an effort to take the game to the unranked Evisceratomato side.

The first half began with the home side in command, to the delight of a rabid crowd of bouncing tomatoes. Striker Eve Isser-Kernigit came close to putting his side in front after an excellent build up capped off by an accurate cross from Macht Milk. Goalkeeper Ishhak came up big and denied the rotund vegetable from opening the scoring. The tomato side continued to paste the Wizards goal as their unorthodox 2-6-3 formation was frustrating the visitors. Midfielder Yum-Yum McPherson was having a fine half, tastily contributing to the tomatoes recipe for passing possession. The half ended at 0-0.

To combat the Tomato midfield, Manager Ufwurz pulled Ishklash back into midfield to give the battling Wizards a 4-5-1 and to contest the Tomato possession in the second half. Once again the Wizards’ fitness came into play and the National Team began to take control of the match. Midfielder Bagdreg the Mauler was unfortunate not to have scored early in the half, but was denied by a fine save by resurrected goalkeeper Elvis Irate. However, it was only a matter of time before the Wizards would score, and the home crowd began to sense that. This led to a couple of pitch invasions late in the half that will surely have World Cup organisers debating whether to punish the Tomato nation for its inability to control its own crowds. Or at least debating having a gardener present at their matches to prune any overgrowth that threatens to interfere with play.

Following an obvious foul on Ghazghash the Sleazy, some tomato fans grew onto the pitch, blocking the home goal. The referee and substitute Globdreg the Destroyer pleaded with them to move, but they would not. Finally, after much preening, they slid off of the field. However, they regrew onto the pitch in the 87th minute following a bizarre incident involving Urk Tamale-Underhill and Akhklash the Emaciated. Tamale-Underhill smashed into Akhklash’s head, knocking the stick-figure Wizard to the ground, and the Wizards were awarded a free kick. Obviously quite dazed (it later turned out that Akhklash had suffered a concussion), the Emaciated one stumbled to his feet. Feeling undernourished and quite hungry, as one does in the 87th minute of a match, Akhklash then began to eat Urk Tamale-Underhill. This led to a red card for Akhklash for illegal consumption and another pitch invasion by the irate tomato-fans. The referee this time was unable to clear the tomato-fans from the goal as they attempted to interfere with play. Globdreg the Destroyer made their interference a moot point when he thunderstruck the free kick in the direction of goal. His thunderous shot smashed into the interfering fans, sending them flying in all directions, and continued onwards to the back of the net. The Red and White Wizards were jubilant and ran out 1-0 winners. Akhklash the Emaciated felt partially sated but will no doubt be facing a lengthy suspension from FIFA for his voracious appetite.

Warnocks Wizards: Ishhak the Smasher, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Mausnik the Cleaver, Ghazukh the Burner (c), Ufdush the Nasty (Durbret the Choker 82), Bublok the Destroyer (Gabdul the Looter 67), Bagdreg the Mauler, Akhklash the Emaciated, Ghazghash the Sleazy, Ashmazh the Tough (Globdreg the Destroyer 72), Ishklash the Snooty.

Unused substitutes: Globtakh the Timid, Akhburz the Straggler.

Warnocks Wizards return home to Fortress Warnock for Matchday 8, where they will face the highly regarded Snub Nose 38. The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe have challenged the Snub Nose cheerleading squad to a dance off at halftime. At press time, it was unclear whether the SN38 cheerleaders had accepted this challenge. The match will also be Ripe Fruit night, sponsored by multi-millionaire farmer, Farmer Maggott III.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Tanah Burung

03-11-2003, 17:15

Spaam

03-11-2003, 17:51

And Erri almost died....

Snub Nose 38

03-11-2003, 18:33

Warnocks Wizards return home to Fortress Warnock for Matchday 8, where they will face the highly regarded Snub Nose 38. The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe have challenged the Snub Nose cheerleading squad to a dance off at halftime. At press time, it was unclear whether the SN38 cheerleaders had accepted this challenge. The match will also be Ripe Fruit night, sponsored by multi-millionaire farmer, Farmer Maggott III.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1
To Whom It May Concern

Dear "Whom":

The Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 is almost ashamed to admit it, but...we don't know what Ministry/Department/Agency/Office within the Warnocks Wizards Government to address this message to.

Be that as it may, on behalf of the Borderlands of Snub Nose 38, and the Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders, I am pleased to accept The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupes' challenge to a dance contest at halftime of the upcoming qualifying match between our two nations, to be held in your marvelous new facility. This opportunity is considered a great honor by the Hooligan Cheerleaders. Unlike SOME nations...we will refrain from naming names.

On another subject, we would like some additional information about this "Ripe Fruit" night we've heard mentioned. Just what does "Ripe Fruit" night entail? I'm afraid there are certain overtones to it that, to be frank, we find a little...well...just a little less than desireable. Some details, a little clarification, if you please. We do so like to be prepared to participate in the customs and traditions of our hosts.

And finally, please be advised that we received a call from an agent of our Ministry of Super Secret Sleuthery, who happened to be vacationing in beautiful Warnocks Wizards. He believes he spotted there in Warnocks Wizards that nasty little man who stole an electro magnetic personal aura modifier (Empam) from us and was seen to be using it to implode Evisceratomatoes at a recent match. If your law enforcement agencies should happen to detain him, please contact us. We would love to "host" a "visit", if you get my meaning.

We do have a few new items developed by our Academy of Science along those lines as well. Doctor Albert Onestone will be holding a press conference later today here in Sten to announce these break through devices.

For the Borderlands of Snub Nose 38
and the Ministry of Athletics, Olypmics, and Alcoholic Beverages
Beverly,
Second Assistant Deputy Vice Adjunct

Gilmeecia

03-11-2003, 18:39

The nation of Gilmeecia will be flying its flag at half-mast for the remainder of the week in honor of our dear, departed neighbors, the Jingoistic States of Brazillico.

Founders of our region, designers (and financiers) of the Gilmeecian National Stadium, participants in the first (and only) International Competitive Piercing Tournament, two-time World Cup winners... they brought us so much joy and so few zombies.

Brazillico, we will miss you.

03-11-2003, 19:05

To: Beverly, Snub Nose 38, Ministry of Althletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

From: Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm, Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport

Dear Beverly:
As Minister of Sport Ufhur the Hated couldn't be bothered to answer your letter as he "has more important things to do," I have been delegated to craft this response. We are pleased to accept your confirmation that the SN38 cheerleaders will perform in the Dance Off at our upcoming match. It should be quite a spectacle. The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk'Hai Folkdance Troupe are known to take no prisoners in their competitions.

As to your question about Ripe Fruit Night...This entails a free giveway of fruit to the first 40,000 spectators who arrive at Fortress Warnock. Farmer Maggott III has donated a wide range of fruit in honour of our recent victory over the Eviscerated Tomatoes. Among the fruit to be given out are tomatoes (naturally); apples in many different shapes and sizes; pears; bananas; a wide variety of melons including cantaloupes, honeydews, and watermelons; pineapples; and coconuts. In short, a wide range of potentially messy projectiles for the fans. Let's hope they behave themselves. Farmer Maggott is an important sponsor to our National Team and I know he will be upset if any of his produce is used for ill means.

Finally, we are unfamiliar with this "little man" you refer to who has stolen an "Empam." As I'm sure you can appreciate, we have a very large population of hobbits and dwarves in the Empire of Warnocks Wizards. It would be nigh on impossible for us to find the correct person given your description. A little more information is needed I'm afraid if we're to follow up on this.

Once again thank you for your prompt correspondence. I remain,

Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm
Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport
Empire of Warnocks Wizards

Snub Nose 38

03-11-2003, 19:42

To: Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm, Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport

From: Beverly, Second Assistant Deputy Vice Adjunct, Snub Nose 38, Ministry of Althletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

Dear Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm:

Please offer our apologies to Minister of Sport Ufhur the Hated for failing to address our original message to him. We understand he "has more important things to do," and so address this message to you.

We are pleased to be taking part in the Dance Off. We do have a question about a minor detail. Where you say, "The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk'Hai Folkdance Troupe are known to take no prisoners in their competitions" in your letter...how should one interprit that? Would it be wise for the Hooligan Cheerleaders to bear arms?

Ripe Fruit Night sounds like a thoroughly enchanting custom. The Snub Nose 38 Hooligans will come appropriately attired to participate.

With regard to the "Empam" thief, we enclose a tape of the little rat. It's not as clear as one might like, but should help in identifying him if you happen to run across him.

(the enclosed tape shows:
*a dark corner of the stadium, where a man in an overcoat is fiddling with a small electronic device, clearly labelled "E'mato frequency control." He can be heard to mutter "It isn't happening. It never happened. I am not here."*)

With Warm Regard,

For the Borderlands of Snub Nose 38
and the Ministry of Athletics, Olypmics, and Alcoholic Beverages
Beverly,
Second Assistant Deputy Vice Adjunct

(also in the evelope when opened by Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm was this inter office memo :

From the desk the Second Assistant Deputy Vice Adjunct
To: Ed Monish, Chief Costumer and Armorer, Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders

Ed - It's absolutely necessary that the cheerleaders wear the oversize uniforms over kevlar armor at the Warnocks Wizards match. They've got some "Ripe Fruit" night thing, and it could get messy.
Also - there's a possibility that we may need to arm them for that Dance Off thing. We're waiting on clarification from our contact in Warnocks Wizards Ministry of Sport about mention of "taking no prisoners". Be ready!!

Bev)

Ravenspire

03-11-2003, 19:58

In a brief ceremony today, Ravenspire Minister of State Raye Forrester remembered the 'vanished' nation of Brazillico, two-time World Cup champions. The ceremony included the rebroadcast of clips from World Cups 5 and 6, the playing of the Brazillican national anthem, and, at its conclusoin, a twenty-one goal salute, wherein, instead of firing guns into the air, members of the Ravenspire Ravens, each representing a Brazillican athlete, kicked footballs into a goal at Tir Eselyn National Stadium.

Kathryn Malley, reporting for RNN

03-11-2003, 20:10

To: Beverly, Second Assistant Deputy Vice Adjunct, Snub Nose 38, Ministry of Althletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

From: Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm, Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport

Dear Beverly:

Thank you for your letter. Minister Ufhur the Hated, were he still speaking to me, would no doubt send his kind regards. I have forwarded your tape of the “little man” you seek to our Ministry of Police (MOP). I have been informed they are sending his image around the empire by palantir. Should he still be hiding in our empire, I am confident they will apprehend the Empam thief in due time.

As for the Dance Off, I fear you may have misconstrued my letter regarding the competition. The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe are intense competitors. As you may be aware from the well publicised incident involving the Tanah Burung football manager, they take their dancing seriously. However, I can assure you, the group has signed the Uruk’Hai Non-Agression Pact: they have disavowed performing violence against other races; repudiated the desire to maim fellow competitors; and forsworn not to eat human flesh, not even when they’re famished. As a result, I don’t believe your cheerleaders need to arm themselves in any way. Your cheerleaders also may want to reconsider donning kevlar armour. It may inhibit their routines. We wouldn’t want to deprive the spectators of seeing the SN38 cheerleaders at their best.

I look forward to our upcoming football match and the dance off at half time. Sincerely,

Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm
Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport
Empire of Warnocks Wizards

Halfassedstates

03-11-2003, 20:24

*we are outside a remote cottage on the edge of a forest not far outside the Sowhatsville city limits. A taxi has just pulled up and two people are exiting the taxi, A taller women and a young girl in a red cape, the taxi driver looks slightly familiar,but we can't quite place him before he drives off*

Margaret - So how is Nana then Mag?

Mag - (Margaret's niece) Not too well auntie - she's been depressed ever since old Sir James died.

Margaret (M from here on!) - She always had a thing for that old sod! Is Meg looking after her?

Mag - Yep, but she has things to do so she wanted you to speak to Nana for a while.

M - Ok, i'll go in and speak to her for a while.

*Margaret heads up the garden path to the cottage, while Mag goes away from us on another path that leads into the woods. Margaret turns and watches her wondering how innocent young Mag looks skipping along in her red-hooded cape# God help any fool that crosses her she thinks. Turning back towards the cottage Margaret sighs heavily and continues, wondering if Nana Urk is still the small old woman she vagly remembers*

Nana Urk - Come in dearie

M - Nana!!!

NU - My how you've changed - its all that foreign food i'll bet.

M - That and a good few years nana, though you look exactly how i remember!
--------------the small talk, chatting reminising etc continues for some time over numerous cups of tea, to be honest we fall asleep for a bit and miss it, it been a long jaunt from SN38!!----------------------------------

#apologies for the blatant rip-off of little red riding hood but i couldn't resist!

Snub Nose 38

03-11-2003, 21:07

Scuttlebutt

Academy Announces Alternatives to Alter Auras
Sten, Snub Nose 38 Remington Grey

The Snub Nose 38 Academy of Science held a press conference today to announce some alternative personal aura modifying devices they have recently developed. At the press conference it was explained that while the original "Empam" (electro magnetic personal aura modifier) did function, it had several drawbacks - short battery life, small area of effect, accidental separation of individual and empam, to name a few. Additionally, an empam being used by the Academy to run some functionality tests was stolen, and used to "splat" several sentient evisceratomatoes. These were the pressing reasons behind the accelerated development of alternatives to the empam.

The Academy developed two alternatives.

The first is a "new generation" biologically inserted electro magnetic personal aura modifier (Bempam). This device is about the size of a watch battery but only about one quarter as thick. The device is a "bio-chip" - a carbon chip (instead of a silicon chip) created with the dna of the individual included in the chip creation. It is then surgically inserted beneath skin, and over a period of about one week actually "grows" into the individual. The Bempam power source will last a little more than a year, after which the device must be replaced. It's range is a 25 meter radius from the individual it has been implanted in.

The Bempam is a miniaturized device. The other device the Academy announced today, the "Wamam" (Wide Area Multi Aura Modifier) goes the other way. It is a very large device that is capable of modifying thousands of electro magnetic personal auras simultaeously. The Wamam is about one meter tall, one meter wide, and half a meter deep. It has a range of a 1.5 kilometer radius. It operates on electricity, and requires a dedicated normal 30 amp circuit . The Wamam contains a back-up battery system that will last 4 hours, and can be operated off a generator, provided the generator can deliver a dedicated 30 amp circuit. The next generation of Wamams will have a built in generator. All circuits and systems within the Wamam are redundent.

The Wamam has a unique function not shared by the Empam or the Bempam. We're told that because the Wamam is designed to modify ALL personal auras within it's range to a frequency that is dis-similar enough from the basic Snub Nose 38 electro magnetic personal aura, it also over rides any Empam or Bempam being operated in the Wamams range. The serendipidous result of this is that any Empam or Bempam being used to disrupt the electro magnetic aura of Evisceratomatoes within the range of an operating Wamam stops having any effect at all.

We were reminded of the unknown individual who stole an Empam from the Academy of Science some time ago, and used it at least once to "SPLAT" some sentient evisceratomatoes. That Empam will be useless to that criminal anywhere within the range of operating Wamams.

The Academy of Science has offered to supply Evisceratomatoes with a supply of 100 Wamams - free of charge. Additional Wamams can be purchased for VG15,000 each.

The Snub Nose 38 Hooligans (footballers and cheerleaders) have all received a Bempam. The Hooligan Football side is now equipped with three portable Wamams, the Hooligan Cheerleades are equipped with a portable Wamam of their own. The team buses each have a built in Wamam on board.

Finally, the Snub Nose 38 National Stadium, "38 Special", is equipped with two Wamams, and has two backup Wamams on hand.

Snub Nose 38

03-11-2003, 21:25

OOC: There will be an RP of the Demonic Beings-Hooligans match. Hadda get some other stuff done (RP & RL) first. Might wind up being the an RP with the 1st half the DM-SN38 match and the 2nd half the upcoming WW-SN38 match. Who can say?

Halfassedstates

03-11-2003, 21:26

*during the middle of the night we hear a chanting coming from the guest room in the cottage. We can't quite make it out, but the shadow of what seems to be a woman holding a chicken aloft is cast on the curtains by candlelight*
*next morning*
Nana Urk - I heard you last night. You still practice the old ways?

Margaret - Of course nana - it keeps the team going well and keeps me in a good job.

NU - You can practice and offer sacrifices in SN38?

M - Well, you can if no-one knows you're doing it Nana. Whatever happened to all the old believers?

NU - Ach you know, the older ones died, and the younger ones saw the bright lights of the cities and moved away. Noone in the cities takes you seriously if you tell them what you are, or at least the only ones that do will at best chase you out of the town! The government gets scared of us and starts to hunt us down. The farmland was taken from 'suspicious' families to more deserving folk.

M - Is that what happened to old Ms. Silverhair?

NU - That silly old do-gooder! If only - after she turned that pumpkin into a carriage for that silly wee lass#, she thought she was it.

M - It?

NU - You know the best ever kinda thing was bragging about the whole thing for months, eventually i got pissed off with her.

M - What did you do to her?!!

NU - to her - nothing except deflated her pride. Making a pumpkin into a carrage was nothing I said, I could make one walk and talk. Of course she didn't believe me and started laughing in my face. I got sooo wound up that I....

M - WHAT!!!

NU - Well I kind of put all my energy into the spell, and well I didn't really look where I aimed my finger and apparently I pointed a couple of Zuchinni's## which, well which came to life.

M - *Slightly curiosly* what happened to them?

NU - What the zuchinnis? I've no idea, I was that exhausted from the effort that i fell asleep and apparently Ms bighead pass out with shock. When we recovered they were no where to be seen.

-------the rambling continues for numerous hours over breakfast lunch and dinner, with loads of tea breaks as well-------

M - So why did you get Meg to call me here?

NU - Well - I think it is time for me to leave and I wanted to ask if you would look after Meg and Mag.

M - Look after them?

NU - Keep an eye on them kinda thing. I'm leaving the cottage to them, I know you will want to go back to your job in SN38 and i'm not going to try and stop you. I just want you to promise to keep in touch with them, especially young Mag - shes a real bright one and I don't think Meg can totally handle her on her own.

M - You mean call more??

NU - Well if you can without being followed all the time.

M - Ho....

NU - You should know I know everything, but don't worry, I've been teaching Mag some of the rituals that should help the Halfassed team - if they keep going well, I guess you'll be left alone soon enough.

M - *mumbles* heres hoping!

NU - Just keep an eye on things, Mag may get bored, if so you'll suddenly find yourself popular with Halfassed secret service again.

M - Ok then Nana, I'll do my best.

NU - I know you will. Mag will be here in a sec to take you back into town. The fools are still looking for you, so be careful.

M - They couldn't catch a the flu Nana, I'll be fine!
*there a knock at the door and Mag walks in*

Mag - Hey Nana, hey aunt Maggie.

NU - Less of the cheek Mag - It's aunt Margaret!

Mag - *sheepishly* sorry

M - *gives Mag a sly wink and smiles slightly while mouthing 'its fine with me'*

*Mag and Margaret leave the cottage and walk round the corner, it's getting dark, but we can just see the outline of a broom leaning against a wall. Mag lifts it and a door opens revealing a sporty convertable! Margaret is astonished at first, but quickly recovers*

M - I guess I'll be driving then!

Mag - No John will.

M- ????

*Just then a local man (you've guessed it - called John) appears {though not quite as suddenly as someone else Margaret knows} The three get into the car and head back to Sowhatsville*

Mag - The sleeper train will get you back to Whogivesa in time for your plane in the morning Auntie.

M - Thank-you Mag - Look after Nana and your mum won't you! I'll speak to you soon.

Mag - I will auntie. ..bye....
*The car speeds off and a rather tired Margaret heads for the train*

#another blatant fairy tale rip-off sorry
## GZ Just an idea - it can easily be put down to the ramblings of an old slightly insane woman if you want :wink:

Halfassedstates

03-11-2003, 21:35

Dagnamit
stupid
annoying
pain in the ass
double
bloomin'
post!!!
:evil:
:x
:evil:

Halfassedstates

03-11-2003, 21:41

Margaret spends a quite uneventful night on the sleeper, and makes it on time for the morning flight back to Snub Nose 38 (strangly this is only the second ever train to be on time in Halfassed history - what are the odds!!)

She is recognised by a secret agent as she passes through customs, but as a secret agent who isn't supposed to be there really, she boards the plane without hassle (again quite amazing eh!)

The secret agent heads off to file a report, while four other agents are reaching the end of their collective tethers after a fruitless weekend long search! Things do not look good for them!!

Snub Nose 38

03-11-2003, 22:12

Legal Disclaimer: Wide Area Multi Aura Modifiers (wamam) will be in operation at 38 Special Stadium for all future matches, beginning with the Evisceratomato match. Ask your personal physician if this will be a problem for you. The posting of this notice satisifies the legal responsibilities of the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages, who therefore cannot be held accountable for side effects that may be suffered.

Halfassedstates

03-11-2003, 22:16

OCC after all the rest of the RP'ing I just realised I haven't gave a match report :oops:

Sowhatsville News

Halfassed Back on top!

It has been a long time since we were able to say this, but Halfassed are top of the group. James Milton's third goal in as many games (protest confirmation awaited) was enough to give Halfassed a victory over a spirited Antetu Rising side. Once again, Halfassed did not look overly convincing but as they have done before, the side somehow managed to snatch all three points. The result was harsh on the opposition who are now in real danger of failing to qualify for the Cup proper, however, the victory and the draw between Bedistan and Nikea allowed Halfassed to top the group on goal difference.

While some groups are claiming that 9 goals in seven games is not a good enough ratio to secure qualification, both Halfassed and Bedistan have scored exactly that number.

"I think it just shows the improvements being made by all footballing nations. Defenses are becoming better at dealing with certain set-plays, and the attackers are having to come up with something new all the time to score - its how the game develops" Said Jarvis Smith when he was asked for his thoughts on Halfassed's low scoring ratio. "I'd rather be top having scored only 9 than be 4th having scored 11 or 12 for example" Jarvis finished.

However, with a few games against the weaker sides in the group coming up, Jarvis must be hoping that his strikeforce can finally start to gel together and be able to rely on something more than a lucky bounce of the ball.

Ravenspire

03-11-2003, 23:21

Ravenspire

03-11-2003, 23:23

Really.

Ravenspire

03-11-2003, 23:23

I hate the forums.

Ravenspire

03-11-2003, 23:26

Matchday 8 results (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2006762#2006762) and tables are posted.

imported_Nikea

04-11-2003, 00:25

(OOC: Doing both games as I had no time last night to do the Bedistan match. Terribly sorry. Also, this one won't have any attempts at humour as well as I'm doing this before I finally get started on my homework :p Oh, thanks Halfassedstates for the compliment on the anthem thing. I thought that up way back on matchday 2).

Queldas Hikari - Rul Isio Nesuntel A Seserim

Nikea Seem Back on Track
Draw Bedistan, Defeat Tranquillitis
by Markenin Markenel

ERIKSBERG, TRANQUILLITIS(NP) - The Pandas, despite an appeared lapse, look to be back on the rebound following a 2-2 draw with 3rd ranked Bedistan and a 1-0 victory today in Tranquillitis.

The Bedistan match was quite exciting. It appeared as though the Bedistani keeper had been struggling recently, having given up a few weak goals in the past two matches. The match in Queldas was the first match that he had let two in during the same match, and both shots were rather weak.

The Lions opened the scoring in the tenth minute, when Darren Morlock took a nice pass and slid the ball past Renteritel and into the back of the net in the 10th minute. After some back and forth play, Morlock broke through once again with a powerful strike in the 34th minute. The Lions headed into the half with a comfortable 2-0 lead.

The second half began in the same way; rather slow and no one getting any quality chances. The Pandas finally netted a goal in the 62nd minute when Kalainen Mersentel's flubbed shot managed to fool Bedistani keeper Chuck Mitchell, who looked rather slow on the play. The 67th minute saw the next marker as Kerinen Irisiuene's attempted pass ran along the goal line, and was tipped in by Mitchell's fingers as he attempted to collect the ball.

Mitchell seemed to settle down following these two blunders, but the damage had been done, and the Pandas escaped with a 2-2 draw. However, an Endray-Island victory pushed Nikea down to fourth place temporarily in the table, on goal differential.

[code:1:9167095a53]
Nikea 2 (Mersentel 62, Irisiuene 67)
v.
Bedistan 2 (Morlock 10, 34)
[/code:1:9167095a53]

The Panda's next match was against a Tranquillitis side who have played quite well as of late, having their 2-match winning streak broken by Endray-Island. The distance between the two nations is quite short, and many Nikeans were on hand in the capital of Eriksberg to see the rather exciting match.

Both Jeserin Renteritel and Stefan Eriksson, the two keepers, played very well throughout the match. Both sides had many chances which were turned aside by the two men in goal (although a one or two unlucky strikes bounced off the woodwork). The only goal of the match came in the 64th minute, when Keresin Keresiuene hit a brilliant free kick from just outside the box that was almost impossible for any keeper to block. The score ended 1-0 for the Pandas, but both teams played exceptionally well.

Nikea retook 3rd in the group, 4 points behind Halfassedstates and Bedistan. They are three up on 4th placed Endray-Island, whom the Nikeans meet in the next match, in Endray-Island. A victory there would make it quite difficult for the islanders to take back the third position in the table. Group 3 results from matchday 8 had the top 4 ranked teams in the group all taking home victories. Bedistan defeated Endray-Island 3-2, Anateus Rising crushed Kramerica once again, this time 3-0, increasing the total between two games to 7-0. Halfassedstates also defeated Zinkoland 2-0.

[code:1:9167095a53]
Tranquillitis 0
v.
Nikea 1 (Keresiuene 64)
[/code:1:9167095a53]

----------------------------------------

Match Schedule

Nikea v. Tranquillitis W 2-0
Nikea v. #54 Endray-Island W 2-1
#87 Zinkoland v. Nikea W 2-1
-Kramerica- v. Nikea D 1-1
#26 Anateus Rising v. Nikea D 2-2
Nikea v. #13 Halfassedstates L 0-2
Nikea v. #3 Bedistan D 2-2
Tranquillitis v. Nikea W 1-0
#54 Endray-Island v. Nikea
Nikea v. #87 Zinkoland
Nikea v. -Kramerica-
Nikea v. #26 Anateus Rising
#13 Halfassedstates v. Nikea
#3 Bedistan v. Nikea

Oglethorpia

04-11-2003, 00:26

Oglethorpia

04-11-2003, 00:26

Damn forums 1x.

Oglethorpia

04-11-2003, 00:27

Damn forums 2x.

Oglethorpia

04-11-2003, 00:28

A national day of mourning for Brazillico was declared. "It's especially sad, as they were one fo the few top teams we usually beat," said Bi Kikere. The coach, who lived in Brazillico briefly after her retirement as a player, will lead a team of Crocodiles players at the memorial service.

(So that means 4 former Cup winners are dead, and 4 are living. Are you sure you want to repeat, LE?)

Grief-conseling and public memorials to the great nation of Brazillico have sprung up around the nation.

Oglethorpia's two largest military bases have proceeded with a 21-gun salute in honor to the futebolling power.

Brazillico will be missed by Oglethorpians and all World Cup-nations alike.

Commerce Heights

04-11-2003, 00:41

Bulldogs Recover At NASTIC 2, Vojtilo To Play At SterlingIce
NASTIC 2 - Whatever was wrong with Alvaro Yago and the Commerce Heights Bulldogs at Haraki and Errinundera seemed to be missing from the NASTIC 2 game. Quigley and Romanowski were able to score quickly in the first half, bringing Commerce Heights to a 2-0 lead. In the second half, the Bulldogs went into defensive mode, and Yago only allowed one goal through late in the game, making the final socre 2-1 CH.
(23) Commerce Heights 2 (Quigley 8, Romanowski 19)
(UR) NASTIC 2 1 - FT
With upsets by SterlingIce and CallMeBernard over Akbarland and Errinundera, Commerce Heights is now much closer to qualifying than before:
[code:1:d06ceba176]Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Haraki (2) 8 4 3 1 16 10 +6 15
Eauz (52) 8 5 0 3 10 9 +1 15
Commerce Heights (23) 8 4 1 3 12 11 +1 13
Errinundera (15) 8 3 3 2 12 9 +3 12
SterlingIce 8 3 1 4 9 8 +1 10
Akbarland (37) 8 3 0 5 9 11 -2 9
CallMeBernard 8 2 2 4 9 14 -5 8
NASTIC 2 8 1 4 2 11 15 -4 7[/code:1:d06ceba176]
Commerce Heights Schedule
Day 1: vs NASTIC 2 – T 2-2
Day 2: vs SterlingIce – W 1-0
Day 3: at #52 Eauz – W 2-1
Day 4: vs CallMeBernard – L 1-2
Day 5: vs #37 Akbarland – W 1-0
Day 6: at #2 Haraki – L 2-3
Day 7: at #15 Errinundera – L 1-2
Day 8: at NASTIC 2 – W 2-1
Day 9: at SterlingIce
Day 10: vs #52 Eauz
Day 11: at CallMeBernard
Day 12: at #37 Akbarland
Day 13: vs #2 Haraki
Day 14: vs #15 Errinundera
Reports from the team medical staff claim that goalkeeper Dirk Vojtilo will be able to play in the second half of tomorrows game at SterlingIce.
Statistics - Team
[code:1:d06ceba176] Overall WC7 WC8 WC9
Games Played 31 10 13 8
Wins 13 3 6 4
Draws 8 3 4 1
Losses 10 4 3 3
Avg. Opp. Rank 77.2 62.6 81.7 88.3
Highest Opp. Rank 2 18 16 2
Highest Def. Opp. Rank 16 18 16 37
Avg. Offense 1.5 1.5 1.5 1.5 gpg
Avg. Defense 1.4 1.8 1.2 1.4 gpg
Goal Differential +3 -3 +5 +1
Rank 100 54 23[/code:1:d06ceba176]
Statistics - Individual
[code:1:d06ceba176]Team Scoring Leaders – WC9
Player G GF GPG
B. Quigley 8 3 0.38
J. Cahalane 8 2 0.25
C. Deppiesse 8 2 0.25
K. Decker 8 2 0.25
F. Wallace 8 1 0.13
E. Burns 8 1 0.13
M. Paritmongkol 8 1 0.13

Goaltending Leaders – WC9
Player G GA GPG
D. Vojtilo 5 5 1.00
A. Yago 3 6 2.00

Team Scoring Leaders – Overall
Player G GF GPG
B. Quigley*** 31 15 0.48
K. Decker*** 31 9 0.29
C. Deppiesse..* 8 2 0.25
J. Cahalane*** 31 7 0.23
C. Romanowski**. 23 5 0.22
M. McCormick.^^ 5 1 0.20
F. Wallace^^* 12 2 0.17
D. Kakuta**. 23 3 0.13
M. Paritmongkol*** 31 2 0.06
E. Burns*** 31 1 0.03

Goaltending Leaders – Overall
Player G GA GPG
D. Vojtilo*** 24 33 1.38†
A. Yago.^^ 8 11 1.38†

..*/..^ starter/backup in WC9
.*./.^. starter/backup in WC8
*../^.. starter/backup in WC7
†Vojtilo and Quigley are tied for goals allowed per game at exactly 1.375.[/code:1:d06ceba176]

Liverpool England

04-11-2003, 01:12

Brazilico ceased?!!??? :( :(

Sports Minister Erfin Caws will attend any memorial service.

RP to come.

Kingsford

04-11-2003, 02:03

For the remainder of qualifying, Kingsford will be donning the Count Chocula sponsored jerseys of the Brazillico team instead of their traditional yellow Kingsford national jerseys. In place of the players names, the Brazillican motto "No Fat Chicks" will read at the top of the back of their jerseys.

In addition, the flag of Brazillico will be displayed in all stadiums across Kingsford, and be added to the center field circle in National Stadium for the remainder of qualifying.

Oglethorpia

04-11-2003, 02:13

GEORGE MCDOUGLAS, FUTEBOL DIRECTOR SEZ:

A noble tribute by our Kingsforder friends.

Oglethorpian flags will fly at half mast for the next week in mourning of the loss of Brazillico.

Steel Butterfly

04-11-2003, 02:14

I'm creating the NationStates Collegiate Athletic Association which will rule over all NS college sports. Naturally I would assume that you people would be interested in the soccer section. You can comment on it:

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopi...hlight=#2007614 (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2007614&highlight=#2007614)

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopi...hlight=#2007622 (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2007622&highlight=#2007622)

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopi...hlight=#2007628 (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2007628&highlight=#2007628)

(All the same...just in different forums)

Eauz

04-11-2003, 02:36

Today Les Bleus were shocked at a 3-0 defeat to the team from Haraki. The last time these 2 teams played Les Bleus defeated Haraki 2-0 @ Haraki. Though today, Haraki got payback on the home field of Eauz. The coach was angered at the defeat at home, saying "We should have beaten this team, we knew how to do it before, yet we just didn't seem to prove anything today. The coach hopes his team can come back strong against another team which they had defeated, Akbarland.

Game 9: Akbarland (37)@ Eauz
Game 10: Eauz @ Commerce Heights (23)
Game 11: Eauz @ Errinundera (15)
Game 12: CallMeBernard @ Eauz
Game 13: Eauz @ NASTIC 2
Game 14 SterlingIce @ Eauz

Liverpool England

04-11-2003, 03:00

Liverpool Englandcontinue winning ways; God Squad defeated 2-0

Liverpool England 2 [Cannon 88th, Dussis penalty 89th]

The national team today left it late before beating God Squad 2-0. Not wanting to risk both Caddy Cannon and Paul Dussis getting yellow cards - getting even one would ban them for a match - he brought them on as substitutes 4 minutes from the end when it was 2-0. The God Squad team panicked, and let in a goal by Cannon 2 minutes from the end. Still panicking, a God Squad defender pulled Cannon down in the box, earning him a red card, and Dussis securing the late, late win over the rank-outsiders.

04-11-2003, 03:08

TIMWAY BACK FROM HOSPITAL, WITHIN 2 PTS OF GROUP LEAD

Timway has rebounded from the sickness that had swept through the team, and the healthier version of the Tigers have posted two wins in their last two games. Victories over Aquilla and East Spaam still leave Timway in 5th place in Group 4, but only 2 points off of the group lead. Prospects are looking good for the Tigers to still advance, and they are finding their stride at just the right time. The team should be completely healthy and in peak form by the end of qualifiers to be ready for Cup proper.

Wuzzonoa

04-11-2003, 03:12

Note, this and all future and former posts by this country are Aquilla. Also this is a double RP since the Times is not published on Sunday.

The Chrysaestos Times: Sports Section, Double Edition

Yesterday we lost 0-1 to Timway. We won't go into the details of that embarassing defeat, but suffice it to say that we lost. The defeat dropped us to number four in the group, and things looked bleak for our coach.

Then we won, 3-0 over Sensual Products. There was great rejoicing, and hundreds of gallons of chocolate were consumed afterward. Two goals were scored by George whatshisnametoolongtosay, and one by another longnamed Aquillan. Advertising using the team in Aquilla has spiked 21%, especially as we are now riding on top of the group. Anything can happen, though. Speaking of which, rumour has it that Lanky Dude, a strong team in our group, will be disqualified for sending robots to the playing field instead of their advertised team.

Runaway Moose

04-11-2003, 03:16

Alces Rex are fighting hard to regain the distance between themselves and now third ranked Svecia. Svecia managed to overtake Runaway Moose after a second loss in gameday 6, and a tie in gameday 7. Gameday 7 marked the return of Nif, she was however, only let to play for half of the game. While the loss against Lowland was disheartening, the tie against group leaders Quohog bolstered the team's spirits. Said Coach Berkett, "We're back on track with this one, I can feel it." It certainly seems so after day 8.
Today's game against West Arridia showed Alces Rex playing a stronger side offensively than they have of late, with goals by Nif, Tinesta and Beast. Assisted by L. Moz, L. Moz and Tinesta respectively. Pettle played goal and managed to keep the team afloat, though letting 2 in in the 19th and 53rd. The win brought us back into second place within the group, regaining our lead over Svecia. Says assistant coach Fernandes (in a thick Portuguese accent) "We like to winning the games as we are now. It is very good, and we will win." Well, we certainly hope so.

OOC: sorry about the lax RPing of late. going into tech week, which for non theatre folk is the week in your life where everything goes wrong, including your car breaking down, while you are trying to get together an impossible number of costumes on a ridiculously small budget and your shop manager has just been hospitalized. eek. all this while trying to graduate with honors. pray for me! (or more importantly, my shop manager)

04-11-2003, 03:50

Tranquillitis Sporting Commission Press Conference

"Speaking for the Tranquillitis Sporting Commission, Markus Gustafsson."

"It has come to my attention that there is some confusion amongst the international community between the Tranquillitis Moose and Runaway Moose. Who are the true Moose? Why don't they call themselves something else? Why bother reading the name of the country at all?

"Well, we'd like to clear up some of this confusion, and justify our use of the team name 'Moose'. Firstly, as we are a nordic country, there are moose abound in our grand island nation. The Moose represents everything that our national teams represent: pride, determination, strength, and a tough gaze. We feel that no other animal could represent us best, and thus settled on 'The Moose' when the Naming Question arose.

"Secondly, we did take into consideration the fact that another nation, Runaway Moose, contained the word 'Moose' in it. However, a number of factors were brought up at a TSC meeting that explained it clearly. The Runaway Moose teams often refer to themselves as Alces Rex. No 'Moose' in that. Also, the Tranquillitis Moose never run away from anything. We thought simply our determination and desire to play would show people that we are not Moose who run away. Thirdly, we felt that, being a quiet nation, interest in our sporting matters would be limited, and people wouldn't really care what we called ourselves. Unfortunately, it appears we have made such an impact that there is some confusion about the name.

"Lastly, in choosing the name 'Moose', we wished to instill the fear of God into our opponents. If they think they are about to take on a mighty moose, the match may just be won before it has begun for the Moose. A tough, brave animal such as a Moose would pose a great pyschological threat. It seems to have worked three times already in this World Cup qualifying run.

"I hope that this has cleared up confusion amongst the international community between the Tranquillitis Moose and Runaway Moose. Thank you."

04-11-2003, 03:55

Afternoon. The National Clearing in the Evisceratomato Patch. Today's competition: Demonic Beings. Coach Guntur Ruak announced that he would once again be playing a 2-6-3 formation, until a sharp-eyed Lemminitanian referee pointed out that this was, in fact, 11 players in addition to the goal keeper.

"But our keeper's not a player, ref, he's a zombie, he don't count!" Ruak protested in vain. No luck, and the Evisceratomatoes were forced to play the match with the regulation number of players. In the end this was no problem, as it was discovered that Anarchism'n'Vodka was not a midfielder at all, but a drink. ("smash the state on the rocks!")

Elvis Irate, the zombie-vegetable keeper, proved to have slower reflexes than had been planned. Consideration is being given to replacing him as keeper with the above-mentioned Anarchism'n'Vodka. "Yes, it's a drink, but it may still have quicker reflexes than poor undead Elvis," said Eve Visser-Eight, vine-niece thrice-removed of Evisceratomato dictator Nate.

A quick goal by Tony Jester took the wind out of the Evisceratomatoes' sails and put the wind up coach Ruak, who is entering an official protest. "Telling jokes and singing funny songs to our players is in contravention of FIFA guidelines," Ruak fumed. "I call for a replay of the match, and the ceremonial evisceration of Mr. Jester, after which he will eb fed to our goalkeeper." Irate also proved unequal to the second Demonic Beings chance and let in a soft goal to John Mark.

Following the match, Nate-Hurr E. Visser, Wisest of the Evisceratomatoes, addressed the team before they headed to Snub Nose 38. "Troubles, oh such troubles, my beaten little beets," he said. "Never mind, never mind, win the next one. We are about to play" -- and here he consulted his notes -- "oh narf, the country that can't be named. Perhaps i will not, after all, accompany you on this trip. Although there's good news, my radishes. The country that cannot be named has invented a device (which also cannot be named) and they promise it will prevent us from spoiling if we get too close to their players. Give it your all, you cauliflowers of the nation!"

04-11-2003, 03:56

Wizards Snub Out Snub Nose 38 at The Fortress

Bagdreg's Screamer Avenges Matchday 1 Drubbing

From our news services...

Matchday 8, Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–The Uruk’Hai have a saying: revenge is a dish best served cold with chilled mango. Last night, the Red and White Wizards had some measure of revenge over a Snub Nose side that handedly defeated them on Matchday 1, and a collection of Uruk’Hai enjoyed a selection of fruit courtesy of a rabid crowd.

On Ripe Fruit night during which the first 40,000 spectators received free fruit samples courtesy of national sponsor Farmer Maggott III, Manager Ufwurz the Furious made two changes to his starting lineup from last week’s victorious side which defeated the Eviscerated Tomatoes. National captain Shagrukh the Strongclaw returned from injury, and started in place of Mausnik the Cleaver. Akhklash the Emaciated, suspended for five matches for taking a bite out of a Tomato opponent last week, was replaced by Gabdul the Looter. The Wizards lined up in a 4-5-1 formation and surprisingly played a defensive counter attacking game against the 20th-ranked Snub Nose side.

The visitors kicked off first on Ripe Fruit night at Fortress Warnock. The cultured midfield of Knuckles, Cromagnon, and Neanderthal were allowed to control play. They proved adept at providing the short pass and played some neat triangle passes with teammates, but were unable to really break down the Wizards defense. That said, Malicious should have opened the scoring in the 31st minute when his marker, Ghazukh the Burner, slipped, allowing the Snub Nosed forward a free path to goal. Fortunately for the home side, Malicious’ shot was tame and dribbled feebly to goalkeeper Ishhak the Smasher. The Wizards only real chance of the half was ballooned over by Ashmazh the Tough. The first half ended at 0-0.

The crowd was entertained at half time by a dance off between the Snub Nose 38 cheerleaders (infamous to some) and native group The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe (infamous to many). The cheerleaders took to the pitch first (OOC: more on that later to be provided by SN38). Surprisingly perhaps, the cheerleaders were received warmly by a crowd of mostly Orcs, who it must be said were enchanted by the cheerleaders. On Ripe Fruit night in which much of the lower tier of the stadium was occupied by the Mordor under-35 Orc softball league, there was amazingly not one single incident of a fruit being lobbed at a Snub Nose 38 cheerleader. A truly miraculous achievement that the Snub Nosed cheerleaders should be proud of.

The reception from the crowd couldn’t have been more different from the one reserved for The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe. The troupe’s performance began interestingly enough with the Uruk’Hai prancing around in avant garde fashion to no discernible beat. They then formed a large circle and pirouetted independently of one another, oddly thrusting their arms in the air in convulsive fits. Leaders Shagrat and Gorbag then began stomping in place with a cacophony of color and dazzling flag and ribbon motions, as the rest of the troupe slinked around them with colorful banners and pieces of cloth material. At this point, the largely Orcish crowd had had enough and began pelting the hapless Uruk’Hai with all manner of fruit, courtesy of Ripe Fruit night. Poor Shagrat and Gorbag tried valiantly to keep their composure amidst a barrage of cantaloupes, watermelons, and coconuts (in a wise move, organisers had made sure only the lowest tiers of the stadium would receive the melons and the heavier fruit). Alas, the rain of fruit proved to be too much and the unfortunate Uruk’Hai were forced to depart the field. By crowd acclamation, the Snub Nose 38 cheerleaders had won the halftime Dance Off competition.

The second half, seemingly an afterthought after the fine halftime spectacle was delayed in kicking off to allow the stadium staff and national mascot Arch Mage Rahzlok the Alligator to clear the field of fruit. Unsurprisingly, the latter largely ate most of the fruit he was to be clearing off the pitch. The Red and White Wizards took control in the second half. Ishklash the Snooty was proving a handful for the Snub Nose defense, and it was one of his energetic moves that led to the only goal of the match in the 72nd minute. Receiving the ball from Ashmazh the Tough, he laid the ball back to winger Bagdreg the Mauler. Bagdreg turned his defender inside out and mauled a shot from 25 yards. The shot rocketed into the top corner, eluding Snubby keeper Pancake. The crowd went insane. Those who had not consumed their free fruit (or thrown it at halftime) launched their fruit into the air in jubilation, and both sides had to try to avoid the falling projectiles (especially the pineapples!). Again after a brief delay to clean off the field (during which Rahzlok passed out on the sidelines after gorging himself once again on the fruit), the visitors tried desperately to find an equaliser. In the end, goalkeeper Ishhak made two terrific saves and preserved an historic victory for the Red and White Wizards. Full time: Warnocks Wizards 1, Snub Nose 38 0.

Warnocks Wizards: Ishhak the Smasher, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c), Ghazukh the Burner, Ufdush the Nasty, Bublok the Destroyer (Gromdul the Gasher 79), Bagdreg the Mauler, Gabdul the Looter, Ghazghash the Sleazy, Ashmazh the Tough, Ishklash the Snooty.

Unused substitutes: Globtakh the Timid, Mausnik the Cleaver, Durbret the Choker, Globdreg the Destroyer.

For their next match in Group 8, Warnocks Wizards visit 10th-ranked Oglethorpia.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Snub Nose 38

04-11-2003, 04:05

*the door opens, and margaret comes in. she sets her minimal luggage down by the door, hands her cape to the butler, and sits down in a very comfortable looking chair. she utters a small sigh of...perhaps relief, or perhaps just glad-to-be home.*

- Oh, there you are! So you decided to come back, did you? Hmph!
- I'm really not in the mood for this, bub. I'm just a little tired. Jet lag and all.
- Where have you been? Things have been unraveling.
- So I took a couple of days off! Get over it. I told you where I was going, why I was going, and when I'd be back. And I'm back.
- Well, your little holiday cost us, you know. The Hooligans lost to Warnocks Wizards while you were on your little trip. One zip. Lost!. Failed to score a single flippin' goal! And, where was Margaret? On a little holiday.
- Look, I took my rubber chicken with me. I did the routine sacficial supplication of the random number gods. I...
- You failed, is what you did. They didn't even score one goal!
- I don't have to listen to this, bozo boy. What about the Manager? What about the coaching staff? What about the whole bloody team? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I'm fed up with this. I'm going to Beverlys'. You can call me if you happen to acquire a second functioning brain cell somewhere along the way and decide to apologize.
- Margaret! You can't leave now!
- Watch.

*margaret gets up, grabs her cape from the coat rack where the butler had neatly hung it up, stomps over, picks up her luggage, and storms out the door, which she slams expertly. the minister is left standing there, a look of shock slowly arriving on his face. he stands absolutely still for a full two minutes, by which time his shocked expression seems to have taken up permanent residence. suddenly, he shakes his head from side to side, blinks his eyes, then walks slowly to his desk. collapsing into the chair, he fumbles for the phone. once he has it under control, he dials.*

- "ring" (we've been over this - flip back a few posts if you need a reminder)
- "ring" (ditto)
- **** :?:
- Bev?
- ***
- Bev...I...I think I may have...insulted Margaret.
- *** :!: ***** :? **
- I know it wouldn't be the first time. I hope it won't be the last time.
- *** :?: :!:
- Er, that didn't come out right. Look, I need your help.
- *****
- Um...uh...because I, uh...look, can I get back to you on that?
- **** :x **
- Margaret said I was a bozo, too.
- ***** :?: *
- She said she was going to your place. Call me when she gets there?
- *********
- Just call me. I need to get her back here somehow.
- *****
- I'm not good at apologies.
- **********************
- I'll be practicing until I get your call.

*the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages hangs up the phone. slowly he turns, and step by step approaches the mirror on the wall. he looks into it.*

- I'm sorry...(no)...Margaret, I'm very sorry...(nope)...I'm truly sorry, Margaret...(close, but no cigar)...Margaret, I was wrong, and I apologize...(getting there)...

*we decide the minister needs his privacy, and quietly take our leave.*

Snub Nose 38

04-11-2003, 04:24

The following announcement is being broadcast every half hour by every radio station and television station in Snub Nose 38:

There is a newsprint media crisis in Snub Nose 38. The two newspapers that dominate the media, Scuttlebutt and The Remington County Record are both printed on the same presses. And those presses have broken down. Repairs are underway. Both papers say they will publish a special edition as soon as the presses can roll again.

--------------
OOC: Tired. need sleep. gotta RP the DB match, and the Hooligan Cheerleaders "performance" at the WW match. :idea: a quick, short post explaining why the newsprint media is shut down.
*posts such a post. ambles off to bed, thinking "what a brilliant idea!"* :wink:

Gesamtkuntswerk

04-11-2003, 05:53

The Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms have once again pushed ahead of the pack and bagged a shutout victory against Consumer Engineering. Though the last game against them yielded a loss, the Sturms were eager to show the game to be a fluke. The well-coordinated midfieldmen proved their mettle today, effectively stopping the CE offencive in its tracks. Pádraig O Máille scored both goals of the game, in the 47th and 73rd minutes.

Spaam

04-11-2003, 06:25

Tara: And now to sports. With star striker Sëhelin still out with an
Achilles strain from their last round match against Audioslavia, the
Spaam national football team have again failed to score. They played
in Lanky Dude last night, against a unranked team that is facing
disqualification. Even though they failed to score, keeper Celebri was
back in form after letting 2 goals through last round, shutting out the
Lanky Dudish team. The game ended in a one-all draw, which
Assistant Coach Dará claimed was 'disappointing'. Coach Hoopai is at
the memorial service for Brazillico, with President DeCáno.

The draw keeps Spaam at 3rd position, behind Aquilla and Lanky
Dude, and even with East Spaam, who lost their match.

OOC: This'll have to do as I'm gonna get sloshed now :D

Oglethorpia

04-11-2003, 06:27

Damn, we have to make people stop deleting their posts. It borks up the forum pages like nothing else :?

The Belmore Family

04-11-2003, 07:19

http://www.abelmore.com/TDB.JPG

TBF hold ORD to a draw.

Alan Belmore scored 2 goals again tonight bringing Belmore back from 2 early Goals to grab a draw away at One Red Dot securing 1 point from a match we could have easily lost. There 2 goals came early in the 1st half 1 from a the penalty spot (Thomas Belmore literally kicking the oposition while he was in the box, dreadfully stupid, dreadfully costly) and the other from an amazing free kick by Yutaro Moyutaro Morisitsu swerving nicely into the goal from about 40 yards! A definate contender for Goal of the Qualification. Alan's 2 however were both of a muchness, The first was a well time bicycle kick that almost snapped the back of the net and the second was a neat header flicking of his head and into the goal.

FINAL SCORE

ONE RED DOT 2
Yutaro Moyutaro Morisitsu (pen 17), Gary whiteman (38)

THE BELMORE FAMILY 2
Alan Belmore (59, 73)

Belmorian Scandinavia

04-11-2003, 07:52

BEMORIAN SCANDINAVIA DON'T SCORE, DENNISOV DO.

Belmorian lost 2-0 to previous winners Dennisov, it was a one sided battle all the way. All we could do was sit and watch and try to prevent a landslaide victory. The manager had to say "We fought well, the lads played their best, it wasn't easy playing against such a veteran of World Cup football".

Giant Zucchini

04-11-2003, 10:44

NEWSFLASH:

The nation of Giant Zucchini observes a minute of silence after its 4th paper in memory of the double World Cup winner, Brazillico. Head Coach Mr Hurr, "Brazillico was a great team, they had great character and always stood up for the underdogs, for they were once underdogs themselves. It is a tribute to nations like these who treat their opponents as adversaries, not enemies, that they have achieved their success. We mourn the loss of a great country."

04-11-2003, 11:14

After CMB's 2nd win, the manager was interviewed afterwards:

"And it comes with some great shock to us all that we've won a second game... well, yes I always knew our players had it in them it's just that we are only at the start of the learning experience... sorry what was that?.... Yes, Magic Bob could have been more generous but that's what makes him the player he is. I wouldn't want him any other way... No way was that a penalty, I saw it clearly. Psycho Bob took the ball first, before stamping on his face...
Brilliant run on goal by Wee Bob, left their defence like statues... well placed strike at the end of it... yes I know it hit the post and went in.... and richocheted off their defender... OK OK there was an element of luck about it, but they all count in the end. That all? Good, I'm off for a beer"

04-11-2003, 11:48

Extremly poor effort by Kravoli

Kravoli have gone down 6 - 0 to Squornshelous. This is by far there worst game on the qualification stage and did nothing that showed there skill.

No Kravoli players were avaible for comment after the match.

Liverpool England

04-11-2003, 11:55

ooc: Surely Kravoli's post cannot count as an RP...

Spaam

04-11-2003, 12:58

OOC: Well.... Kravoli, we expect you to do a big RP sometime.

But at least he is having a go.

Audioslavia

04-11-2003, 13:50

Spaamers get hammered, 'waters get slaughtered.

Im this weeks two matches, the 'slaves, after a sad run of 4 games without a win, accounted for Spaam in an impressive 2-0 display, with winger Lever and fullback Jackson taking the goals.

Lever, coming back from an injury sustained in the 0-0 draw with fellow-strugglers Haraki, netted after only ten minutes as he met a Wilson cross with a bullet header at the far post. Audioslavia continued to dominate the first half, clearly bolstered from playing in front of their own faithful, and took a two goal lead from a Jackson penalty, after striker Kann was felled in the box.

The second half saw Spaam slowly gainig the upper hand, looking every inch the side that swept the 'slaves off the pitch 3-0 in World Cup 6 (or was it WC7? NB, check before sending off to the 'slave news printers). With 20 minutes left Spaam looked like scoring, but a break in play after a scuffle between Ripper and the Spaam goalkeeper after a pumpkin-bursting incident which we will not go into here, destroyed the Spaamages concentration at a vital time, and the score remained the same.

Audioslavia's next match, away to Clearwater, was like, really easy and stuff. We won 3-1. hardcore, dude.

Despite getting primal on the league's collective ass recently, Audioslavia remain in 6th place out of the eight, but with only 3 points between the top 6 sides, the 'slaves chances of qualifying are looking decidedly rosier than they were a few weeks ago.

This has been Jeremy Jaffacake, signing off.

G'nite Bitchburgers.

Dark Outcasts

04-11-2003, 15:00

Outcasts keep place at top of gruoup after feeling the mid-group blues!

OCC: post proper RP when 1) I've not so much work
2).......hmmmmm.........
3) less matches, prehaps if i qualify

soz, been up to my eyeballs in work since getting a major backlog after coming back form my holiday

The Weegies

04-11-2003, 16:51

Weegies Star Sport Report

How fickle a mistress football can be. One minute you're top of the league, the world at your feet, and 200,000 drunken supporters at your feet all around the various islands of The Weegies. The next minute, two draws and a loss later, you're languishing in 5th place, admittedly in a very close group, with one team being the focus of deep, deep loathing.

Terranos. The very word sets a Weegie fan's teeth on edge. Another terrible 1-1 draw, this time away leads to an intense hate on the part of The Weegies' fans. Especially how that draw was gained. Dirty play and dirty tactics.

Tanah Burung

04-11-2003, 17:33

DAILY CROCODILE

Back on top

Tanah Burung pulled off a 2-0 win at Wildthings Realm to take back a share of the lead in Group 8. The Crocodiles are now even with Snub Nose 38 and Oglethorpia, and stand third on goal difference. "That 4-2 loss to Oglethorpia is coming back to haunt us," said coach Bi Kikere. "But we're confident of keeping pace with the leaders over the second half of qualifiers. With our last two games against the top seeds, though, it's still going to be tough to qualify. Warnocks Wizards and Hell Bovines are nipping at our heels."

The Crocs struck hard and early against last-place Wildthings Realm, as a rocket off the right foot of Taur Matan Ruak knocked the Wildthings keeper into the net along with the ball. After playing very clean in the past few matches, the Crocs came out with a chippy, physical performance that earned them three yellow cards. "We were determined to control posession and get the three points today," said team captain Rosa Bibere, one of the yellow-carded players. Midfielder Canabe Livit added the second goal, scoring off a free kick awarded when she was fouled badly by a Wildthings defender.

In a pre-game ceremony, the Crocodiles players prayed for the repose of the nation of Brazillico, greatest team in footballing history, and promised to always stay faithful to the first commandment of Brazillican football RP: make sure all your wins aren't last-minute come-from behind thrillers.

"I'll especially miss the Chili Bats," said Bi Kikere, "because they were one of the few top teams we were usually able to defeat."

Next up, Tanah Burung travels to another of their favourite opponents, Hell Bovines. Although these teams have played twice (both matches ending in 2-0 victories) this will be the Crocs' first visit to the Grand Duchy.

Final score:
Wildthings Realm 0 Tanah Burung 2
(Ruak 7, Livit 50)

Snub Nose 38

04-11-2003, 18:31

Scuttlebutt – Special Edition

Tranquility Turns the Trick
Sten, Snub Nose 38 Remington Grey

The Snub Nose 38 Hooligans hosted the national side of the Disputed Territories of Demonic Beings at 38 Special Stadium on the 7th matchday of World Cup 9 qualifiers. Play was dictated by the weather, a cool dreary day of wind swept rain that soaked players, fans, and pitch. Both sides adopted a short, patient style of play in an effort to avoid that costly mistake that would give the match to the other side. Start time was delayed by some 45 minutes by the officiating crew, as the local weather report called for a break in the weather. While the intensity of the rain did decrease, it didn’t stop raining until well into the early morning hours of the following day.

First half highlights included a well taken strike by forward John Mark of the Demonic Beings in the 33rd minute, and two excellent strikes by the Demonic Beings’ Tony Jester, one stopped by Hooligan keeper Pancake in the 17th minute, and the other getting past Pancake and into the net in the 42nd minute. The Hooligans also had several chances; Malicious in the 18th, Paddy in the 27th, both stopped by Demonic Beings’ keeper Lawrence Knight, as well as a strike by Knuckles in the 1st minute of 2 minutes of added time that nearly equalized, as it got by Knight – but struck the crossbar, came back into the field of play, hit Knight in the back, and flew over the end line for a Hooligan corner kick. The corner did not prove useful to the Hooligans. It was taken by Buster, who had come on in the 39th minute to replace an injured Neanderthal. Buster slipped on the wet pitch as he attempted the corner, driving it over the end line for a goal kick. The half ended with the score 1 – 0 in favor of Demonic Beings.

The Hooligan Cheerleaders provided half time entertainment – or attempted to. The drenched crowd did not seem to be in the mood for cheerleading. The pelting with over-ripe vegetation, usually begun at the completion of whatever “cheer” the Cheerleaders lead, started as soon as they took the field. Their composure in disarray, the Cheerleaders never managed to get into their customary “38” formation, and the cheer they lead was given rather weakly. This reporter jotted it down:

“Snub Nose Hooligans, Hip (ouch) Horray!!
Hooligans (ow!) play will (hey!) win them the day!!
Being Demonic won’t (ouch) help at all
‘Cause Snub(ooch)bie Hooligans control the ball!!
Demented Beings? Defunct Beings? De(ow!)feated Beings?”

The Cheerleader ran off after they completed their half-hearted cheer – leaving two of their number who slipped on the wet grass behind for a moment – a miserable moment for them, as they received the undivided attention of all fans who still had some “ammunition”.

The second half was underway barely 2 minutes when the Hooligans netted the equalizer. Hooligan forward Paddy drove right down the middle of the pitch, evading the Demonic Defense, until he was one on one with defender Paul Wood. Paddy went right, spun left, and Wood fell trying to follow. Paddy then calmly dribbled the ball past a diving Lawrence Knight and into the net.

It seemed that the match would end in a 1 – 1 draw until the 87th minute, when Hooligan defender Tranquility, almost a head taller than the tallest Demonic player, moved up into the box for a Hooligan corner, which was placed perfectly by Buster this time. Tranquility tranquilly headed it in. Three more minutes of regular time, 4 minutes of added time, and three excellent chances by Demonic Beings – all stopped by Pancake – later, the match ended in the final score DEMONIC BEINGS 1, SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 2.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Remington County Recorder

The Hooligans Win – The “Other” Hooligans
Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards Lauren D’Order

Matchday 8 – I’ve been told the Uruk’Hai have a saying: revenge is a dish best served cold with chilled mango. Well, mango was on the menu at Mount Doom today. The Red and White Wizards took their revenge today for their defeat in the earlier Wizards – Hooligans match.

40,000 spectators received free fruit samples as they entered the stadium today. More on “Ripe Fruit Night” later in this report. The Hooligans kicked of the match against the Wizards, who were in a 4-5-1 formation. Knuckles, Cromagnon, and Neanderthal were allowed to control play in midfield – the Wizards seemed intent on defense early on. Malicious should have opened the scoring in the 31st minute when Ghazukh the Burner slipped, giving him a clear shot on path goal. But Malicious’ weak shot was easily handled bylkeeper Ishhak the Smasher. The Wizards had a chance in the 40th, but Ashmazh the Tough sent the ball over the crossbar. The first half ended at 0-0.

The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe and the Snub Nose 38 Cheerleaders provided half time entertainment in the form of a “Dance Off”. The cheerleaders took to the pitch first. They opened with a short number from “Cabaret”, choreographed by someone known only as “Margaret”:

“Wilkomen, Bienvenu, Welcome.
Fremde, Etranger, Stranger.
Gluckliche zu sehen, Je suis enchante,
Happy to see you
Blibe, reste, stay.
Wier sagen…Wilkomen, Bienvenu, Welcome.
Ins kabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret.”

The crowd warmed up to the Cheerleaders, who moved directly into an Irish dance number, twirling and swirling, tapping and slapping, and never moving their arms! This reporter was told later that this number came from “Riverdance”. They closed with “A Chorus Line”, from “A Chorus Line”, choreographed by the multi-talented Eileen Dover.

The crowd (mostly Orcs), were simply enchanted by the cheerleaders. Not one single piece of “ripe fruit” was lobbed at a Snub Nose 38 cheerleader. This set two new records – this reporter looked them up – the first, this being the only time the Hooligan Cheerleaders were not pelted during a performance; and the second, this being the only time in the recorded history of “Ripe Fruit Night” that a performance ended without any fruit being tossed.

The “home team”, Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe, got a different reception. This reporter, not familiar with the Warnocks Wizards Folkdance, never the less truly enjoyed the performance. It began with a dance that didn’t seem to have any real rhythm or beat, but still was quite beautiful. Then the troupe formed a circle, and began to spin, lift their arms – and two of them began to stomp about with some very colorful banners and ribbons. The rest of the troupe picked up some banners and moved slowly around the two stompers. Unfortunately the troupe didn’t get to finish their performance. The crowd began pelting the hapless Uruk’Hai with all manner of fruit, courtesy of Ripe Fruit night. The leaders tried to keep their composure amidst a barrage fruit, it proved to be too much and the troupe had to leave the field.

By crowd acclamation, the Snub Nose 38 cheerleaders had won the halftime Dance Off competition.

The second half kick off was delayed as the stadium staff and a huge alligator (Arch Mage Rahzlok the Alligator, the sides mascot) cleared the field of fruit. The Wizards took control in the second half. Bagdreg the Mauler, who evaded his defender and struck from 25 yards. The shot flew into the near upper corner in the 75th minute. Hooligan keeper Pancake never had a chance. The home crowd went wild. So did the Warnocks Wizards side, celebrating what proved to be the winning goal. The Hooligans fought for an equalizer, causing goalkeeper Ishhak to make two outstanding saves.

In the end, although one team of Hooligans won, it was the Cheerleaders and not the Football side, who lost by the score WARNOCKS WIZARDS 1, SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 0.

Kaze Progressa

04-11-2003, 18:37

From the Daily Kangaroo:

PROGRESSANS GO SECOND AS IRAFMA DOES THE BUSINESS AGAIN

Faiwe Irafma once again led Kaze Progressa to victory with both goals in a 2-0 victory in Kegarna, taking them above One Red Dot and Belmore Family to second in the group.

The Progressans fielded an attacking lineup and pleased and worried the visiting fans in equal measure by including Fayu Owa from the start, playing behind Irafma and Waulino. The move paid immediate dividends when, in the third minute, Owa burst past two defenders in one stepover/spin combination before setting up Irafma, who made no mistake from ten yards.

Irafma doubled the lead on 29 minutes with sheer instinct. When Owa's fierce 30-yard shot battering the woodwork, Irafma stormed in and was first to the rebound, which he duly edged home past the near post.

The Progressans dominated for the rest of the first half, Owa hitting the bar and post within two minutes of each over and Waulino forcing two superb saves in first-half injury time. The second half was quieter, but Irafma threatened to complete his hat-trick throughout, only to be snuffed out of the game when two defenders man-marked him (a trick successfully used by One Red Dot). Waulino and Owa had more space but were continually denied by the goalkeeper.

The draw between ORD and Belmore Family allowed the Progressans to leapfrog both for second place in the group. Travelling fans knew that this result helped them. 'They've dropped two points each, and that can only be good for us,' one said. 'Liverpool England are basically through, so it's two from us, Belmore and Red Dot. The more points those two can drop the more chance we have of qualifying.'

The Belmore Family

04-11-2003, 18:44

04-11-2003, 19:33

To: Beverly, Snub Nose 38, Ministry of Althletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

From: Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm, Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport

Dear Beverly:

Hope this letter finds you well. I just wanted to thank you again for your assistance in making the Snub Nose 38 cheerleaders visit to Warnocks Wizards such a success. Our office has been inundated with requests from the Orc community for posters, autographs, and contact addresses of the Snub Nose 38 cheerleading squad. It turns out that the middle dance that they performed during the Dance Off, which I believe your newspapers referred to as a “Riverdance,” is very similar to an Orcish courting ritual. As you can imagine, your nation’s cheerleading team have now won over quite a large, devoted following here in our Empire. Any assistance you can provide regarding posters, autographs, or contact info would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely,

Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm
Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport
Empire of Warnocks Wizards

P.S. I have also spoken with Mr. Gorbag and he was very much impressed with the skill of the SN38 cheerleaders. He acknowledged that they deservedly won the Dance Off and says it was "an honour" to perform on the same field with such skilled dancers.

Snub Nose 38

04-11-2003, 19:39

To: Beverly, Snub Nose 38, Ministry of Althletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

From: Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm, Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport

Dear Beverly:

Hope this letter finds you well. I just wanted to thank you again for your assistance in making the Snub Nose 38 cheerleaders visit to Warnocks Wizards such a success. Our office has been inundated with requests from the Orc community for posters, autographs, and contact addresses of the Snub Nose 38 cheerleading squad. It turns out that the middle dance that they performed during the Dance Off, which I believe your newspapers referred to as a “Riverdance,” is very similar to an Orcish courting ritual. As you can imagine, your nation’s cheerleading team have now won over quite a large, devoted following here in our Empire. Any assistance you can provide regarding posters, autographs, or contact info would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely,

Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm
Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport
Empire of Warnocks Wizards

P.S. I have also spoken with Mr. Gorbag and he was very much impressed with the skill of the SN38 cheerleaders. He acknowledged that they deservedly won the Dance Off and says it was "an honour" to perform on the same field with such skilled dancers.
:roll: , mixed with a little :D
OOC: I like it! Let me mull over Bevs' response.

Kingsford

04-11-2003, 21:27

HI! I'm JOHN MADDER!!!! Today, we're going to report on a game of FOOTBALL!

Today's Matchup was between the Kingsford National and the Freedom Country rusty walnuts.

Today's match was played in National Stadium, Kingsford City. This is the first match that the Kingsford National will be wearing the Brazillican kits. Now! ARE YOU READY FOR FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTBAALLLLLLL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

The Kingsford National starts out strong with a good header by Mike Odyssey, #4 of the Toryo Wolfpack in the 12th. The rusty walnuts held on to the ball for most of the 1st half, however, until Odyssey came back again and pocketed it in the 38th for the GOAL! FOOTBALL! YEAH! ALRIGHT!

The next half went slower. It sucked! The only person to score was midfielder Houman Sebari. and that was a stupid goal. It was almost not worthy of FOOTBALL! YEAH! LETS DO IT!

((A tranquilizer dart flies into Medder's neck. He takes it out and breaks it in half.))

You're making me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

((Madder suddenly starts growing into a haasly green machine, and takes a punch at the camera, before transmission ends.))

Rejistania

04-11-2003, 22:14

darn double post!

Rejistania

04-11-2003, 22:15

OOC: I did something more explicit and long, but this darn invalid_session thingie destroyed it!

Voices after the match:

Xkeliko Susu (midfielder): Great! This was my first-ever World-cup goal.

Sen Ajil (defender): I admit: If someone would have said after that *bleep* first-leg match, how we perform now, I would have send him into the icehouse.

Hexen Imdila (coach): We must not get too optimistic. The next games will be against the top teams of the group. Even if we won today, it was a narrow 91rst minute victory.

Keyshonian fan, whi just passes the reporter: SH*T!

Kaze Progressa

04-11-2003, 22:50

BELMORE FAMILY ATICIPATE KAZE PROGRESSA MATCH

TBF can't wait for their awsome tie against KP where the winner will almost certainly qualify. The manager declined to be interviewed but said "We have only lost four times at home, and we intend to keep that record." He failed to mention however that one of those losses was to Kaze Progressa!

OOC: Your defeat to us was in the Progressair Stadium not in BF.

IC: Faiwe Irafma has described this match as 'the biggest match in the country's history'.

In an interview for the Daily Kangaroo he said 'if we win this match, we have a great chance of qualifying for the World Cup... this is a match of impossibly huge stature and I would love nothing more than to score in it.'

Audioslavia

04-11-2003, 23:02

Good Morning Bitches!
your daily breakfast show with your hosts, Herbert and Margaret

H: ....and then the vicar said.. 'my trousers'

M: har har har!

H: and now, lets go to Jeremy Jaffacake with the sport.. hi jeremy

J: aight man

H: yes, "aight" jeremy... har.... well jeremy, whats going on in the crazy world of football then jeremy?

J: wwwweeelllllll the 'powers that be' in the football world seem to be going all George W. Bush on us

H: ooohhhh really? and just why is that?

J: well, since the corrupt fagtastic giver-of-useless-statistics Total 'n Utter Insanity has taken over as the NSWCC's president, everyone in the NS world seems to have gone power mad, and are threatening to annex... sorry i mean 'ban' any country that refuses to broadcast or report its games enough, or with the required amount of thoroughness.

H: crikey, rather like George Bush, with his policies of going and killing people who dont quite play to Americas rules?

J: exactly like that. its none of TnUI's doing of course, but the football world seems to be going haywire under his reign of terror, his reign of doom, his reign in blood.

H: wasnt it "raining blood"

J: no, that was the song, Reign In Blood was the album*

H: ah..... so why are they getting upset at the nations that dont broadcast their games properly?

J: because if an unkown country beats a big country and doesnt tell its people about it, and the result culminates in the big team going out, then theres less people to laugh at the team whove gone out.

H: it seems weird that TnUI would be campaigning for these new teams to be banned, seing as the less people that know of their pitiful impotence on the football field, the better?

J: of course, but remember, TnUI are not really campaigning for it. So far, they seem to be on the non-imperialist-bitch side, rather than Spaam's side.

H: i see... but why get all wound up about the crap teams? they only ever win when theyre playing at home, and thats rarely. Away from home theyre like... theyre like Accrington Stanley

J: Accrington Stanley? who are they?

H: eXActly.

J: ...right... well... moving on....

H: how does the NSWCC's sudden swing to the extreme right affect Audioslavia?

J: well, seing as our media are all away at university and can only do the odd write-up in their spare time, it looks like we'll be banned too, under this new law, or "The Patriot Act 3" as im calling it

H: so were totally fucked then?

M: Herbert! Language!

H: sorry luv.. so were fucked then?

J: yep, because even if they dont find out that we dont broadcast our games, when Spaam reads this and finds out that a fair few people think he's going OTT, he's gonna kick our collective ass.

H: ouch... dude were gonna get Spaamed

J: hell yeah

H: well, thats all we have time for in the sports news, c'ya bitch

J: g'day bitches

Spaam

04-11-2003, 23:09

OOC: Hehehehe.... you know I'm only talking about n00bs, not hosts you ninny :P And besides.... you DO want to qualify, don't you?

Audioslavia

04-11-2003, 23:18

OOC: Hehehehe.... you know I'm only talking about n00bs, not hosts you ninny :P And besides.... you DO want to qualify, don't you?

only if im one of the top 3 sides in my group. If Lanky Dude beat me home and away, then Lanky Dude beat me home and away.

btw i do advocate banning for overuse of smilies *cough*

Snub Nose 38

04-11-2003, 23:39

Speaking of...well, we weren't, were we? No matter, that got me started. Here in the Borderlands of Snub Nose 38, where we have taken out a Copyright on the name "Margaret", we are considering a proposal to ban anyone else who uses it.

:shock: (note - not actually "smiling", therefore not actually a "smilie")

Snub Nose 38

05-11-2003, 00:15

To: Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm, Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport

From: Beverly, Second Assistant Deputy Adjunct, Snub Nose 38, Ministry of Althletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

Dear Zagmash:

I was very please to receive your most recent letter. I am well, thank you, and hope your are well as well. The Minister of Athletics, Olympics and Alcoholic Beverages, in fact the entire Ministry, is thrilled by the popularity of our Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders there in Warnocks Wizards. I've sent along by overnight mail a large package addressed to you, in which you will find about 100 posters autographed by the entire squad, and another 100 that have not been autographed. I've take the liberty of enclosing about a dozen 8x10 glossies of each member of the squad as well. Should this prove to be less than enough, just drop me a line or give me a call and we'll send along some more.

Our policy is not to give out home address, telephone, or email contacts for our Cheerleaders. However, they can be contacted by mail here at the Ministry. Here is the address:

The Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders
Office of the Second Assistant Deputy Adjunct
Attn: Beverly
Minstry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages
1452 1/2 Enfield Avenue
Sten, Snub Nose 38 - Postal Code 12-4535

The entire squad were enchanted by the friendly people there in Warnocks Wizards. Imagine how thrilled they were to win the Dance Off! After watching the exquisite performance of the Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe the cheerleaders did not imagine for a second that they might win.

How odd that “Riverdance,” is so similar to an Orcish courting ritual. It certainly is a small world, isn't it?
I must tell you that the Uruk'Hai Folkdance Troupe of Shagrat and Gorbag is developing not a little following here. Would it be possible to send us a taped performance or two? If you could, the National Anthropologic Society would love to air it on their cable channel - which is highly regarded here in Snub Nose 38.

On behalf of the Hooligan Cheerleaders, the Minstry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages, and the People of the Borderlands of Snub Nose 38, thank you so much for both the invitation to compete in the Dance Off, and the wonderful reception your folks gave ours.

Sincerely,

For the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages
Beverly
Second Assistant Deputy Adjunct

P.S. Please tell Mr. Gorbag that the Cheerleaders still haven't stopped talking about the exquisite and innovative performance by the Uruk'Hai Folkdance Troupe. Many of us have the impression that we "won" only because the people of Warnocks Wizards are so hospitable as to make sure their guests would not be made uncomfortable by "losing".
--------------------------------------------------
- Hey, Ed.
- Yes, Ma'am?
- Stick this in an evelope and send it off, will you?
- Certainly, Ma'am.
- I think we're finally gonna be able to dump all the Hooligan Cheerleader crap...er...merchandise we haven't been able to move.
- Ma'am?
- Read the letter before you mail it, Ed. The flippin' Cheerleaders are actually popular over there in Warnocks Wizards.

Runaway Moose

05-11-2003, 01:43

Official response from the PR staff for Alces Rex; Runaway Moose's National Side.

Who are the true Moose? Why don't they call themselves something else? Why bother reading the name of the country at all?

I feel that many would agree, after looking at my nation's flag, that we are the true Moose, and your team chooses moose as a representation. We don't call ourselves something else, because that is what we are. Our team name, Alces Rex, means "Moose King"

The Runaway Moose teams often refer to themselves as Alces Rex. No 'Moose' in that.

See above

Also, the Tranquillitis Moose never run away from anything.

Alces Rex only Runaway with the lead.

Lastly, in choosing the name 'Moose', we wished to instill the fear of God into our opponents. If they think they are about to take on a mighty moose, the match may just be won before it has begun for the Moose. A tough, brave animal such as a Moose would pose a great pyschological threat.

Alces Rex laugh at the thought of being afraid of their own likeness. "ha ha ha ha ha"

"I hope that this has cleared up confusion amongst the international community between the Tranquillitis Moose and Runaway Moose. Thank you."

As do we.

05-11-2003, 03:03

Response to the Official Response from Runaway Moose

I feel that many would agree, after looking at my nation's flag, that we are the true Moose, and your team chooses moose as a representation. We don't call ourselves something else, because that is what we are. Our team name, Alces Rex, means "Moose King"

We freely admit that we choose Moose as a representation. We, of course, are not actual Moose, and it is simply just a representation. Being the Catholic nation we are, we are well aware of the translation of Alces Rex. We only meant it as for when other nations are reading the wire, that they can distinguish Alces Rex from Tranquillitis Moose, or at least we hope so.

Alces Rex only Runaway with the lead.

Yes, it appears as though that is the case, given your current world ranking, something that the Moose of Tranquillitis can only hope to attain.

Alces Rex laugh at the thought of being afraid of their own likeness. "ha ha ha ha ha"

As the Tranquillitis Moose and Alces Rex have never met on the pitch, that statement, however likely, is still unproven. However, the Tranquillitis Moose agree that should that situation arise, we will have lost the psychological advantage that is usually gained against non-Moose teams.

Please, friends, our original statement did not intend to arise hostilities between our fair nations. Rather, we wanted to clear up the confusion throughout the international community about our two sports associations. We are glad that we would be even mentioned in the same breath as the wonderful Alces Rex national teams.

Thank you.

Eauz

05-11-2003, 03:12

Does anyone have the link to the Excel document that was made to run this game?

Thanks

05-11-2003, 03:35

To: Beverly, Second Assistant Deputy Vice Adjunct, Snub Nose 38, Ministry of Althletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

From: Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm, Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport

Dear Beverly:

Hope you are still well. I am well and I appreciate you asking if I am well when you are well. Well, I just wanted to thank you on behalf of our Ministry and a horde of Orcs for sending the posters and glossy photos of the SN38 cheerleading squad. We are distributing the photos as I type this. There will be quite a few happy Orcs tomorrow morning when they receive their mail. We have our departmental scribes banging out a few thousand more copies of the posters, so we shouldn’t need another shipment from your ministry. Thank you for the offer, however. We respect your policy of keeping the dancers’ personal contact info private, it’s a sound policy. However, we will be publishing the contact address you’ve enclosed in the local Orcish press. (It’s a good thing the cheerleaders won’t be receiving any mail directly. We have seen some odd requests of the cheerleaders, including a couple of marriage proposals, filter through our office.)

I’ve spoken to Mr. Gorbag about your request for video footage of his dance troupe. Mr. Gorbag is a rather eccentric artist and under normal circumstances destroys all footage of his group after a performance. On one level he does this as he fears his shows may be pirated; but he also believes that only through seeing a live performance is one able to truly appreciate his group’s artistry with all of one’s senses. However, given the fact that he finds the SN38 cheerleading squad inspiring and as a token of goodwill between the people of WW and the people of Snub Nose 38, he is willing to put together a collection of the finest of his troupe’s performances for your National Anthropologic Society. He informs me that you can expect a score of tapes within a week or so.

Once again, thank you for your kind words and the package of SN38 cheerleading merchandise. Sincerely,

Zagmash the Perpetually Infirm
Third Under-Minion to the Ministry of Sport
Empire of Warnocks Wizards

Aquilla

05-11-2003, 03:52

KCHR, Chrysaestos Radio!

Aquilla was going to play East Spaam today. However a flight delay delayde the match. Stay tuned!

Ravenspire

05-11-2003, 03:56

Matchday 9 results (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2016562#2016562) and tables are up.

imported_Nikea

05-11-2003, 04:06

Queldas Hikari - Rul Isio Nesuntel A Seserim

Nikea Not Helping Themselves
Lose Crucial Match with Endray-Island
by Markenin Markenel

ENDRAY-ISLAND(NP) - The Pandas are once again teetering on the edge of failing to qualify as they suffered a disappointing 2-1 loss in Endray-Island today. The goal by Endray-Island in the 89th minute was enough to drop Nikea to fourth place based on goal differential.

Endray-Island opened the scoring in the 33rd minute with a brilliant bicycle kick off a corner that blew by Jeserin Renteritel in the Nikean net. Nikea equalized just before half-time, however, when Jerin Istertel's shot was blocked, and Turinnen Mortethel was there to bang in the rebound. The teams went into the half tied.

The second half had a number of chances for both sides, as they attempted to get the winner. It looked destined to be a draw until a controversial call led to an Endray-Island goal. Replays showed the Islander forward to be offsides, however no flag was raised and the ball was placed over the outstreched leg of Renteritel and into the net, sending the home crowd into a frenzy and the Pandas home with a disappointing result.

All was not lost, however, as Bedistan was shocked at home 2-0 by Zinkoland, meaning the Pandas and Endray-Island are now only 4 points behind the Lions with 5 matches remaining. Anateus Rising inched closer to Nikea with a 2-1 victory on the road at Tranquillitis, and Halfassedstates continued their stellar play with a 3-2 victory over Kramerica, sending them to the top of group 3.

Nikea's remaining matches are against Kramerica, Zinkoland, Anateus Rising, Halfassedstates, and Bedistan, while Endray-Island competes against Kramerica, Zinkoland, Anateus Rising, Halfassedstates, and Tranquillitis. The next few matches should show which team will likely pick up the third spot, but a surging Anateus Rising may be able to snatch the spot with continued stellar play. The other three teams, Tranquillitis, Kramerica, and Zinkoland, are not quite eliminated, but would need nothing short of a miracle to qualify. Halfassedstates and Bedistan look like sure bets. Nikea's next match is home to Zinkoland, and they play the following two matches at home as well, in at Interirien Field in Interiu against Kramerica, and in Solarin Stadium in Queldas for the final home match of the qualifying round, against Anateus Rising. Tomorrow's match will be played in Orkinas at the Orkano Stadium.

[code:1:e6d31289db]
Endray-Island 2 (<player> 33, <player> 89)
v.
Nikea 1 (Mortethel 41)
[/code:1:e6d31289db]

----------------------------------------

Match Schedule

Nikea v. Tranquillitis W 2-0
Nikea v. #54 Endray-Island W 2-1
#87 Zinkoland v. Nikea W 2-1
-Kramerica- v. Nikea D 1-1
#26 Anateus Rising v. Nikea D 2-2
Nikea v. #13 Halfassedstates L 0-2
Nikea v. #3 Bedistan D 2-2
Tranquillitis v. Nikea W 1-0
#54 Endray-Island v. Nikea L 1-2
Nikea v. #87 Zinkoland
Nikea v. -Kramerica-
Nikea v. #26 Anateus Rising
#13 Halfassedstates v. Nikea
#3 Bedistan v. Nikea

Tanah Burung

05-11-2003, 04:27

DAILY CROCODILE

A day of draws

The top five teams in Group 8 all drew their matches, leaving the picture at the top of the group unchanged. Oglethorpia, Snub Nose 38 and Tanah Burung all have 17 points, while Warnocks Wizards are two points back and Hell Bovines three points off the pace. With the group's sole win, Demomic Beings moved back into contention, five points from the leaders.

The Crocodiles were disappointed after their scoreless match at Hell Bovines, a friendly but rather drab affair that ended 0-0. "That's our problem, we're too friendly with everyone," said coach Bi Kikere. "We need more hostility. That's why i'm looking forward to our re-match with Snub Nose 20."

But first, the Crocs face a crucial three-game stretch. First, Warnocks Wizards in a match that will feature half-time dancing by the controversial Uruk-Hai troupe. Then, a grudge-match with Evisceratomatoes. And finally, what is likely to be the most important of all, the Crocodiles v Demomic beings.

"We need to be ahead after those three matches," Bi Kikere said. "Otherwise, we're going to have a near-impossible task qualifying, since the last two games are away against the top seeds: Snub Nose 20 and Oglethorpia. So i'm announcing here and now: we must eviscerate the opposition in the next three matches. I want at least six points from this stretch, and if it's seven or nine, i'll be much happier. If it's less, then the players backs will be against the wall. And you know why we line people up against walls, right?"

Oglethorpia

05-11-2003, 04:30

The Maracaibo Post

Oglethorpia draws, still on top of group eight
2-2 draw with Warnock Wizards; luckily, a pair of ties by Snub Nose 38 and Tanah Burung leave Oglethorpia on top of group eight

SHEFFINGHAM, PORLAMAR -- Oglethorpia faced Warnock Wizards for the second time in World Cup IX qualifying, this time at home in native Kuruma Stadium. Oglethorpia's World Cup-squad had been taken down by the talented squad of Warnock Wizards in the first matchup, the Wizards upsetting the 10th ranked Oglethorpians in Mount Doom.

Needless to say, coach Guy Picciotto and team captain Fernando Green were out to claim victory over the Wizards.

The match on Oglethorpia's home pitch was one of toughness and destruction; for shortly after Ashmazh the Tough's goal in the 32nd, Globdreg the Destroyer would strike only minutes later against Yamamoto-san, putting the Wizards up two-nil on Oglethorpia. Unfortunately, in the wake of Globdreg's furious charge towards the goal, he took out defenders Bruce Corwin and Mike Brown.

Said Brown, "all's I knew 'as 'at this 'uge orc was'comin' towards me, hey? then I'as on the groun', righ' tackled bloody well."

And so it seemed on the replay, the orcish striker Globdreg the Destroyer absolutely tearing through the Oglethorpian defense in a charge against Yamamoto-san, whose save was fully a futile effort. Luckily, team captain Fernando Green captalized on an Oglethorpian free kick, in the 47th putting Oglethorpia down only one goal to the two of Warnock Wizards.

Oglethorpian hopes were put on a damper when defender Samson Grey fouled Globdreg in the goalie's box; lucky Yamamoto-san would come up with a fantastic save on the penalty kick, a roar rising from the Oglethorpian crowd.

In the 71st minute Torrence Black would secure the equalizer, a header right past Globtakh the Timid; Timid indeed.

"It kicked ass," said simply striker Black before hitting the bottle again.

"We'll take the draw," said captain Fernando Green. "Someday, we'll have a chance to take on the side from Warnock Wizards again; and hopefully make the record 1-1-1."

More on the Oglethorpian World Cup-squad's World Cup IX bid as it comes, matchday ten the next in line.

Svecia

05-11-2003, 04:38

Once again, the World Cup is taking back burner in the Svecian press due to regional conflict involving the Confederation of Libertarians. This combined with the typical Svecian slow start has led to increased disinterest in the beloved voetbal championships. However, interest is now back on the rise with over 580 million viewers tuning in to watch the recent Svecian upset of Runaway Moose. Interest also increased with news that the Svecian Lightning is now considered a World Cup Superpower.

However, qualifying this year should be tougher than usual with a new system introduced for home and away matches. This coupled with a tough qualifying group has lead to a slow start in qualifying. But right now Svecia, with a little help from a few upsets in their group, has moved up to 3rd place in Group 5 with five games left to go. Quohog, an Überpower, is still left on the Lightning's schedule, although this will probably be a home game played at Kystig Stadium. Svecia has not lost a home game yet in qualifying.

05-11-2003, 04:45

DRAGONS VICTORY OVER TnUI MOVES THEM UP IN TABLE

Holy Imperial City, DRAGONIA(DP)-It seems that the Dragons have only recently noticed that winning may be the key to sucess. Thier current good form has moved them up in the group 9 table and is taking them one step closer to a WC9 qualification.
Weslington University striker, Olo Hardbottle, found the net twice in the second half with both assist coming from Lissësúl Sargent, who continues to shine during the WCQ rounds. Keeper Fasco Danderfluff picks up his second victory of the campaign and he and 5 others NT members head towards Imperial City for FC Dragons Champions League match.

Oglethorpia

05-11-2003, 04:54

WORLD CUP WATCH
Post Matchday Nine

RAY MCHALE: Well, matchday nine's come to a conclusion. And after a rash of funding and budgeting snafoos, conondrums, mishaps and all-around problems, we're back with Mike White and Eduardo Escobar to discuss the Oglethorpian World Cup-squad bid.

MIKE WHITE: Good to be here.

EDUARDO ESCOBAR: It is.

MIKE: Yeah, I just said that.

EDUARDO: I was agreeing.

MIKE: Yeah, just making sure.

EDUARDO: Yep.

RAY: Alrighty then, let's get down to business. Oglethorpia, Snub Nose 2- erm, 38, and Tanah Burung. Eduardo, Mike -- who's going to come out on top of group eight come the end of matchday fourteen?

MIKE: Fourteen matchdays?

RAY: Aye.

MIKE: That's crazy-talk.

RAY: Anyways, Eduardo -- give me your thoughts.

EDUARDO: Well ray, Snub Nose 2- erm, 38, Tanah Burung, Hells Bovines, Warnock Wizards, and of course Oglethorpia are all evenly matched in group eight. A very tight group, and a tough one to predict indeed. And now, i'm going to give you my thoughts on what I think.

OGLETHORPIA is only ahead of group eight on merit of goal difference. A misstep in one of the upcoming games could send either Snub Nose 2- erm, 38 or Tanah Burung to the top of group eight. Still, the likelyhood of Oglethorpian qualification looks good.

SNUB NOSE 38 is tied with Oglethorpia and Tanah Burung in points. Goal difference is the only thing giving group eight it's actual standings, and they're looking good -- they tied today, but after defeating Oglethorpia, the top-seeded team in group eight -- well, don't count this Knuckles-led side out of things.

MIKE: Hold up, Escobar -- Snub Nose 38's second in group eight. Why would anyone count them out?

EDUARDO: Well, there are some dumb people in Oglethorpia.

RAY: He's right. Carry on, Eduardo.

EDUARDO: Finally, TANAH BURUNG was leading group eight just a couple of matchdays ago. I don't count out the possibility of TB winning its last few important games in qualifying to best both Oglethorpia and Snub Nose 38 and come out on top of group eight.

RAY: All fine points, except-

MIKE: Except it doesn't matter whether you're first or last, qualifying is qualifying -- we've seen teams qualify first, like Oglethorpia, then fall flat on their face in the first round.

RAY: Mike, that's exactly what I was going to say.

MIKE: Thank cue cards.

EDUARDO: Thanks, cue cards.

MIKE: It was a whatcha-ma-callit.

RAY: A whatcha-ma-callit?

MIKE: A thing...it's like, a thing, but it means something else.

RAY: Oh, like a metaphor.

MIKE: YES. How'd you know that?

RAY: Thank cue cards.

MIKE: ...

EDUARDO: Moving on...

RAY: Moving on, Mike -- give me your thoughts on the 1901 Oglethorpian squad.

MIKE: They're suffering a case of "we're-doing-the-same-thing-as-last-Cup."

RAY: Among other things.

EDUARDO: Such as?

RAY: Rapid aging, accelerated hair loss, lickity-split insane-madness and like mad, like crazy aging.

MIKE: You said aging twice.

RAY: That's the extent of it!

MIKE: Anyways -- just like World Cup VIII, the 1901-side only has one draw. In WC VIII, they had none -- no draws is going to hurt you.

EDUARDO: Exactly right, Mike. Excellent analysis.

MIKE: Why thank you, Comrade Eduardo.

EDUARDO: Riight -- anyways, alrighty now. If you can't win, you need a draw to at least earn some points, and the 1900s Oglethorpian team has not done that. Fatal to their second WC bid. They've only 13 points, which is not bad, but it still puts them 6 of 8 in group ten, only ahead of Belmorian Scandanamanamanamianamianavia and Freedom Country, but the top three of group ten have either a large number of wins or little to no losses, and instead a good number of draws.

RAY: Right. They're behind in points, for sure. On the other hand, Kingsford is doing quite well to be in third, coming up from fifth in group ten just a couple of matchdays ago.

MIKE: Looking good to qualify, if they keep things together and get the necessary draws and wins.

EDUARDO: Right. The team that can score the goals to win and draw the most games out of their group will most likely qualify.

RAY: All futebol-fans need to hear that. Mike, did you hear that?

MIKE: Aye Ray, I did -- startling stuff, that. The team that can score the goals to win and draw the most games out of their group will most likely qualify.

RAY: It's such a radically-new spin on futebol commentation.

EDUARDO: Enough sarcasm.

MIKE: Sorry.

RAY: How 'bout that local sports team?

MIKE: You mean Gilmeecia?

RAY: How'd you know?

MIKE: Thank cue cards.

EDUARDO: Gilmeecia is doing fantastic. They're absolutely right, those crazy Gilmeecian-folk to call the team the Kickassers. 7-0-1, an admirable record -- Liverpool England the only better nation in qualifying, with 25 points, their record being 7-1-0.

RAY: Definitely. The Kickassers are-

MIKE: Kicking ass?

RAY: How'd you know?

MIKE: Thank cue car-

EDUARDO: That's right, you best stop sayin' that damned thing about cue cards.

RAY: What think about cue cards.

MIKE: Thanking them?

RAY: Aye.

EDUARDO: Well, i've done my share of analysis -- i'm out of here.

[Eduardo leaves.]

RAY: Well, that's just about all the analysis we'll be doing on WORLD CUP WATCH, since analysis ain't my Cup of tea.

MIKE: Exactly. Play-by-play is our forte.

RAY: It is, isn't it?

MIKE: It is.

RAY: Aye.

MIKE: Anyways, for Ray McHale, i'm Mike White -- goodnight all you futebol fans. Good luck to the Oglethorpian side-

RAY: Sides.

MIKE: Right, the sides -- modern and 1901. See you later, folks.

Snub Nose 38

05-11-2003, 04:55

The Ministry of Statistics and Other Totally Useless Information

The Ministry fished this tidbit of OTUI from the pool of statistics, information, and mis-information available on World Cup 9 Qualifing Matches:

After completion of Matchday 9, with only 5 qualifying matches to go, only one side has been eliminated:
One Blue Dot

The Minister sends his condolences

05-11-2003, 05:18

Warnocks Wizards Earn Point in Oglethorpia

Manager Ufwurz Pleased with 2-2 Draw at the Top of the Table Side

From our news services...

Matchday 9, Oglethorpia–The Warnocks Wizards earned yet more international respect last night with a 2-2 draw away at 10th-ranked and top of the table side Oglethorpia. The home side were up for this match, hoping to avenge a shock 1-0 Wizards victory at the inaugural match at Fortress Warnock on matchday 2. Sensing the match was going to be a battle, Manager Ufwurz the Furious fielded a very physical side. Uruk’Hai target man Globdreg the Destroyer started in place of Gabdul the Looter and rugged defender Mausnik the Cleaver started in place of Ufdush the Nasty. There was also one surprise: No 1 goalkeeper Ishhak the Smasher pulled a muscle in warm up and had to be replaced by Globtakh the Timid. The side lined up in a flat 4-4-2 with striker Ishklash the Snooty dropping back to play right wing, the normal position of suspended winger Akhklash the Emaciated.

Right from the kick off, the tackles and fouls began to fly in around the pitch. The physical Wizards seemed to be coping well with the home side’s aggressive play. Bublok the Destroyer did well to control much of the pace of play in midfield and broke up a few Oglethorpian attacks. The Red and White Wizards opened the scoring on 32 minutes when Bublok’s tackle left the ball for Bagdreg the Mauler. Bagdreg ran directly at the defense and won a free kick. Dusting himself off, Bagdreg curled in a beautiful free kick that goalkeeper Yamamoto-san could only parry away. Ashmazh the Tough battled his way to the rebound and buried it for a scrappy 1-0 lead. The Wizards doubled their lead just two minutes later. Ghazghash the Sleazy slipped a through ball onto the foot of Globdreg, who, with two defenders draped all over him like a cheap Orcish suit, muscled his way into the box and blasted a ball that poor Yamaoto-san could only partially deflect into the back of the net. 2-0 to the Wizards at halftime and the small group of visiting fans were loving it.

Perhaps being a little too casual after kickoff, the Red and White Wizards conceded an immediate goal. Ghazghash’s lazy pass was intercepted, leading to an Oglethorpian break. Mausnik the Cleaver hacked down an Oglethorpian forward, giving the home side a freekick just outside the Wizards’ box. Oglethorpian captain Fernando Green quickly took the freekick and beat the slow-reacting Globatkh the Timid to the near post. Oglethorpia 1, Warnocks Wizards 2. The National Team then had a chance to restore their two goal lead when Globdreg was tripped in the Oglethorpia penalty area. Home goalkeeper Yamamoto-san came up big, however, and made a terrific save of Ghazghash’s penalty kick. This buoyed the home side, who quickly marched down the pitch and leveled the score. Torrence Black eluded marker Mausnik on a corner, heading his side to a share of the points. On the whole, Manager Ufwurz was pleased with his side and pleased to leave 10th-ranked Oglethorpia with a point. The match finished Oglethorpia 2, Warnocks Wizards 2.

Warnocks Wizards: Globtakh the Timid, Ghaztrak the Gouger (Akhburz the Straggler 69), Mausnik the Cleaver, Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c), Ghazukh the Burner, Bublok the Destroyer, Ghazghash the Sleazy (Gromdul the Gasher 72), Bagdreg the Mauler, Ishklash the Snooty, Ashmazh the Tough, Globdreg the Destroyer.

Unused substitutes: Krumsnik the Paunch, Durbret the Choker, Gabdul the Looter.

For their next match in group 8, Warnocks Wizards return to Frosty Cup host Tanah Burung. The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe will be accompanying the team and will perform at halftime of the match.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Oglethorpia

05-11-2003, 05:19

FRANK JENSON, DEFENSE DIRECTOR SEZ:

We will launch all efforts into saving the One Blue Dot national side from execution when they return to their home nation, shunned by their fellow citizens and native government.

They're bad footballers, but maybe if we were to rescue them perhaps we could make use of them...

Like Giant Evil Spider feed, sold to Dire Arachnia, or something.

It's a better fate then going to their home country, to be executed for disgracing their home nation!

Liverpool England

05-11-2003, 05:27

With victory over Kegarna, Defending Champs need just one win to qualify

KEGARNA 0
LIVERPOOL [01] 2 (Hearne penalty 79th, <player> own goal 89th)

Facts
TBF on 15 points, LE on 25. A win for LE (28) and a loss for fourth-placed TBF (15) would mean they can only secure 12 points from the reamining four games (27), putting LE through. LE will also go through if TBF draw due to their very powerful goal difference.

Commerce Heights

05-11-2003, 05:55

Bulldogs Back On Track For Return To Home?
STERLINGICE - With Dirk Vojtilo back in the lineup, and an increased confidence in the forwards and midfielders, the Bulldogs appear to be fully prepared for their first home game in 5 days against #52 Eauz. Cahalane got an early goal in and Yago let a goal late in the first half to make the halftime score 1-1. In the second half, Vojtilo was able to stop the ball with every shot on the goal, and Deppiesse's late goal put the game in the books as another Bulldogs victory.
(23) Commerce Heights 2 (Cahalane 18, Deppiesse 74)
(UR) SterlingIce 1 - FT

With Akbarland downing Eauz and Haraki knocking CallMeBernard back down, Commerce Heights was able to rise to second in the group with 5 games left:
[code:1:205cf06598]Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Haraki (2) 9 5 3 1 19 11 +8 18
Commerce Heights (23) 9 5 1 3 14 12 +2 16
Errinundera (15) 9 4 3 2 13 9 +4 15
Eauz (52) 9 5 0 4 11 11 0 15
Akbarland (37) 9 4 0 5 12 12 0 12
SterlingIce 9 3 1 5 10 11 1 10
CallMeBernard 9 2 2 5 10 17 -7 8
NASTIC 2 9 1 4 3 12 18 -6 7[/code:1:205cf06598]
Commerce Heights Schedule
Day 1: vs NASTIC 2 – T 2-2
Day 2: vs SterlingIce – W 1-0
Day 3: at #52 Eauz – W 2-1
Day 4: vs CallMeBernard – L 1-2
Day 5: vs #37 Akbarland – W 1-0
Day 6: at #2 Haraki – L 2-3
Day 7: at #15 Errinundera – L 1-2
Day 8: at NASTIC 2 – W 2-1
Day 9: at SterlingIce – W 2-1
Day 10: vs #52 Eauz
Day 11: at CallMeBernard
Day 12: at #37 Akbarland
Day 13: vs #2 Haraki
Day 14: vs #15 Errinundera
Statistics - Team
[code:1:205cf06598] Overall WC7 WC8 WC9
Games Played 32 10 13 9
Wins 14 3 6 5
Draws 8 3 4 1
Losses 10 4 3 3
Avg. Opp. Rank 79.5 62.6 81.7 95.1
Highest Opp. Rank 2 18 16 2
Highest Def. Opp. Rank 16 18 16 37
Avg. Offense 1.5 1.5 1.5 1.6 gpg
Avg. Defense 1.4 1.8 1.2 1.3 gpg
Goal Differential +4 -3 +5 +2
Rank 100 54 23[/code:1:205cf06598]
Statistics - Individual
[code:1:205cf06598]Team Scoring Leaders – WC9
Player G GF GPG
B. Quigley 9 3 0.33
J. Cahalane 9 3 0.33
C. Deppiesse 9 3 0.33
K. Decker 9 2 0.22
F. Wallace 9 1 0.11
E. Burns 9 1 0.11
M. Paritmongkol 9 1 0.11

Goaltending Leaders – WC9
Player G GA GPG
D. Vojtilo 6 5 0.83
A. Yago 4 7 1.75

Team Scoring Leaders – Overall
Player G GF GPG
B. Quigley*** 32 15 0.47
C. Deppiesse..* 9 3 0.33
K. Decker*** 32 9 0.28
J. Cahalane*** 32 8 0.25
C. Romanowski**. 23 5 0.22
M. McCormick.^^ 5 1 0.20
F. Wallace^^* 13 2 0.15
D. Kakuta**. 23 3 0.13
M. Paritmongkol*** 32 2 0.06
E. Burns*** 32 1 0.03

Goaltending Leaders – Overall
Player G GA GPG
D. Vojtilo*** 25 33 1.32
A. Yago.^^ 9 12 1.33

..*/..^ starter/backup in WC9
.*./.^. starter/backup in WC8
*../^.. starter/backup in WC7[/code:1:205cf06598]
Preview: #52 Eauz (5-0-4) @ #23 Commerce Heights (5-1-3)
Commerce Heights is 7-3-4 at home (6-3-1 during the ongoing streak of 10 consecutive sellout crowds at Maxisoft Stadium)
Eauz is 4-0-0 on the road during WC9. (OOC: :shock: )

Commerce Heights is 5-4-8 against ranked teams (2-0-0 against ranked teams that are ranked lower than CH).
Eauz is 2-0-3 against ranked teams in WC9 (Eauz is the lowest-ranked ranked team in the group).

CH is 2-2-1 in the second games played against teams that they have defeated in the first game. They are 0-1-1 when this team is a ranked team (W 1-0 vs Runaway Moose followed by L 1-4, W 1-0 at Kingsford followed by T 1-1).

Predicted Score: T 2-2
Odds:
W by 5 - 50-1
W by 4 - 50-1
W by 3 - 25-1
W by 2 - 6-1
W by 1 - 5-1
Draw - 6-1
L by 1 - 4-1
L by 2 - 6-1
L by 3 - 50-1
L by 4 - 50-1
CH win: 5-2
Eauz win: 5-2
Histogram
[code:1:205cf06598]12 | *
|
10 |
| *
8 | * *
| *
6 |
|
4 |
|
2 | *
| * * * *
0 |-----------------------------------------*-
+5 +4 +3 +2 +1 0 -1 -2 -3 -4 -5
Results based on 50 simulations using WC7 formula[/code:1:205cf06598]
OOC: I don't think that the 6-1, 4-0, or 0-4 results I generated will actually happen...though 6-1 would be nice... :P

05-11-2003, 06:33

The Evisceratomatoes touched down in the land of Snub Nose 38, quite close to the stadium. The new Wawams hummed confidently, a tribute to Snub-nosed technological brilliance. Still, there were not many people out to greet the Evisceratomatoes. Technology is all well and good, but people still kept their distance.

The Evisceratomatoes were met at the airport by an official greeting party, who hailed them with megaphones from 20 metres away. "Welcome to Sn- .. welcome to our country," they said. "Your transportation awaits." Outside, the Evisceratomatoes were asked to board a large flatbed trailer, hitched to the back of an empty trailer, hitched to a powerful tractor. And so they made their way to the stadium.

Play began tentatively, as both teams eyed the Wawam devices cautiously. But the mighty machines seemed to be working. And play began to pick up. Eve Visser-Eight started a run up the pich, and saw just a few inches of daylight between two Holligan defenders. Screwing up her courage, she drove for the space, brushign against one player as she went ... and ... survived! The Wawams hummed a little bit louder, and she passed through unscathed. Only to be foiled by a great save by Pancake. And Knuckes would come back with a very pretty goal, faking a pass that completely fooled 'mato keeper Elvis Irate.

Half time. Snub Nose 1, Evisceratomatoes 0. The Hooligan cheer leaders, puffed up from their horde of orcish fan mail, took to the field. They drew in their breath to start a chant, when suddenly Urk Jones charged towards them. "Eviscerate!" he shouted. "For the revolution! Death to Hooligans!" He threw himself amidst the cheerleaders, who broke formation, scattering as fast as they could. Not fast enough for some: Jones smashed against them, cackling suicidally. The Wawams squealed as they drew more and more power from the grid. The stadium lights flickered. But the grid held, and Jones ... survived!

Now why would one of the Evisceratomatoes want to splatter himself? Invistigations have determined that he was egged on (so to speak) by coach Guntur Ruak, the madman of Tanah Tarantula. The team will now be personally managed by Nate-Hurr E. Visser, Wisest of the Evisceratomatoes. "And Jones is off the team, my little parsnips," Nate said later. "Trying to get the Cheerleaders all covered in over-ripe fruit, why that just isn't sporting! The hereditary enemies of our race are people too, you know."

But back to the game. The second half saw two very determined sides emerge from their dressing rooms, where the Evisceratomatoes had endured a dressing-down from Coach Ruak and been slathered in dressing (to keep them supple). Against -- let's face it -- a far superior team, the Evisceratomatoes showed a lot of heart and a lot more determination in taking the match to the Hooligans. But ball after long ball was offside, attack after attack stopped by the Hooligan defence or by Pancake between the posts.

Until the 72nd minute, when a foul against Visser-Eight gave her a free kick. Both teams crowded into the same small section of pitch. The wawam screamed and drew more power. Visser-Eight ran into the tangle of players, started to take the kick ... the wawam flickered ... and died! Visser-Eight immediately began to spoil, and the rest of her team fled back to their own end. She shrieked in terror, touched the ball ... and splattered. Tomato goo pelted Pancake and continued forward on its own momentum, carrying the ball along with it ... into the net! One goal, one dead Evisceratomato.

Well, after that, the teams stayed well back of each other. The Wawam came back on stream, but the players were taking no chances. And so, the game would end 1-1.

---

Back home, Nate dictated a letter.

My pomegranates,

Before you come home, please load up on these Wawam devices. It's very generous indeed of the country that can't be named to offer us some, and do tell them that we'd be delighted to have a few for home use. I've bene thinking, and it appears that they may not be incarnations of pure evil after all. Anyway, i'm pretty sure there's more to life than splattering people from that country whose name i can't say.

Do rush home, my artichokes, for there is much entwining to do to make the new land fertile and fecund.

05-11-2003, 06:53

Spaam

05-11-2003, 11:30

New Spaam Times

Sports > Football > World Cup Qualifying

United Spaam On Top

Both United Spaam teams share the top spot in their group, after
they both scored 2-1 victoried over their opponents. East Spaam
last night defeated Aquilla at home in Guroch Stadium, with Haran
and Dui scoring the goals. The match, which was meant to be
played the night before, was delayed due to the Aquillan team
arriving late. However, officials allowed the match to continue
normally, though they are asking the Aquillan Football Association
to reimburse the spectators, as the delay cost East Spaamanian
officials half a million eurowots.

The other game of the night heralded the return of Sëhelin to the
side after an Achilles strain, and the effect was notable, as Spaam
scored their first goals in 3 games. Playing in Sensual Products,
there was a hiccup as the Sensual Productions scored a goal just 2
minuted into the game, beating a baffled Celebri. However, Spaam
hit back immediately, Sëhelin scoring in the 8th minute. Spaam
controlled the game from then on, scoring a second goal thank to
Meneldur, in the 35th minute.

The Sensual Production's defense held for the second half, as they
made promises of romantic back massages in an effort to stop
Spaam form scoring. The game ended with Spaam 1 goal victors,
their first win in 3 games. Coach Hoopai, who also returned after a
one game absence, due to the memorial service for Brazillico,
claimed she was "happy with the performance, but we have a long
way to go, and could find ourselves in fifth as easily as first."

The wins put Spaam and East Spaam in first and second
respectively, Spaam ahead only due to goal difference. Three
teams are tied for third, 2 points behind, Aquilla, Audioslavia, and
Lanky Dude. It will be a battle of United Spaam next round, as both
teams play in Spaam, in the Artánis Football Stadium, which was
recently upgraded for this match to seat 140000 spectators.
Spaam are hoping to consolidate the position on top with a win,
having beaten East Spaam 1 nil away earlier in the qualifiers.

Donni Darco

East Spaam

05-11-2003, 11:43

A crumpling of a newspaper is heard in the background....

Mary: An in footborl, both United Spaam teems sher da
top spot in der groop, arfta day both skord 2-1 viktoreez ova der
oponents. East Spaam larst nit defeeted Akwila at hom in Guroch
Stadium, with Haran and Dui skoring da golz. Da mach, wich woz
ment too bee playd da nit beefor, woz deelayd doo too da Akwillan
teem ariving layt. Howeva, ofishils alows da match to kontinoo
normalee, do day ar arsking da Akwilan Footborl Asoseeayshen too
reeimbers da spektaytorz, as da delay kost East Spaamanian
ofishils harf a milyen eurowots.

Ummmm....

Da wins put Spaam and East Spaam in ferst an sekend
respektivlee, Spaam ahed onlee doo too gol difrens. Three teems
ar tid for therd, 2 poynts beehind, Akwilla, Ordeeoslarveea, and
Lankee Dood. It will bee a batel ov United Spaam nekst rownd, as
both teems play in Spaam, in da Artánis Football Stadium, wich woz
reesentlee upgrayded for dis mach too seet 140000 spektatorz.

Ummmm....

Dis is Donni Darco, I meen Mary, for East Spaam Nyooz At Nin.

A newspaper is seen being thrown across the studion....

The Weegies

05-11-2003, 13:32

The Weegies

05-11-2003, 13:34

05-11-2003, 13:36

<-Reserved for loss->

OOC: And if anyone thinks I'm just saying "Reserved and then not doing anything, you're wrong. Wrong, I tells you. Just check back. Although, I haven't finished off the Terranos one...

OOC:- Are you a real weegie ?

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/t-o-c.jpg

Buckfast Rules

Lanky dude

05-11-2003, 14:11

LANKY DUDES GET AMAZING DRAW WITH SPAM

A great match was played today between LD and Spaam. I was an amazing match with many chances. Spaam started the game with temper and flare. But This temper overflowed when a wrekless challenge by one of the Spaam defence lgave us a penelty, sadly however we could not convert with George Lanky firing over the bar. We continued surging forwards but it ammount to a muchness with the game ending 0-0

FINAL SCORE
LANKY DUDE 0

SPAAM 0

Lanky dude

05-11-2003, 14:11

Tanah Burung

05-11-2003, 16:03

Shelob-VIII-Legs to Form Giant Spider Football Team?

Warnocks Wizards Billionaire Linked to Football Expert

From our news services...

Shelobs Lair, Warnocks Wizards--Rumours are floating around the Empire of Warnocks Wizards that billionaire perfume-maker and giant spider Shelob-VIII-Legs is contemplating establishing a football team of giant spiders to compete domestically and perhaps on an international stage. Sources close to Ms. Shelob claim that she is thinking of approaching Tanah Tarantula native and football guru Guntur Ruak to set up and coach a team of her kin. Ms. Shelob herself could not be reached for comment. Stay tuned for possible developments with this story.

Thrakhak the Slinger, reporting for WW1

TARANTULA CITY -- Guntur Ruak, ex-coach of Tanah Burung and Tanah Tarantula, arrived back in this dank swamp of a city earlier today, hoping to resume his old job with the Tarantula squad in the Giant Evil Spider Football League.

"Hi!" said Tarantula, head of the welcoming party. "We don't need you any more! Did you bring food?"

The team's new coach, Tarantula, confirmed that humans were no longer required to coach the team. "We're smart too! And really evil! I ate my sister's piece of cake last night! Grr!"

Ruak is rumoured to be entertaining offers from an eccentric spider billionaire to repeat his programme-building efforts in Warnocks Wizards. Sources say he would be "delighted to work with Ms Shelob, and anyways, i need the work. I mean, sources say i need the work."

Whether the Giant Evil Spider league is still operational is another question. Sources are unsure, but hope Ms Shelob's billions will help revive the league.

Snub Nose 38

05-11-2003, 16:05

*a very quite snub nose 38 "38 special" stadium. we can hear the wamams running - but not much else. and yet - there are over 20,000 people in the stands. in the ring of world cup nations flags that fly around the top of the stadium, we notice that two are flying at half mast - brazillico, and evisceratomato. down on the field is a small group of people. the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages, margaret, ben and eileen dover, justin case, and the the snub nose 38 hooligans - both footballers and cheerleaders.*

- We thank you all for coming today. We've gathered here to honor a fallen footballer. A brave, talented young footballer. A, um...

*margaret jabs the minister in the ribs, leans over and whispers in his ear*

-...a valued member of the Evisceratomato National Side - Eve Visser-Eight. Eve came to her untimely end here in 38 Special Stadium just two days ago, playing her heart out, as she loved to, for her national side. A moment of silence, please, in honor of Eve Visser-Eight.

*during the silence that follows, the snub nose 38 flag in the ring of national flags at the top of the stadium is lowered to half-mast.*

- Eve, knowing full well the danger of playing against the Sn...

*margaret jabs the minister again*

-...er, our National Side, knowing that at any moment she might have to pay the highest price, still gave it her all. Her sacrifice allowed her to score (posthumously) the goal that tied the match, and earned her national side both a point, and the respect of other serious footballing nations.

*at this point the minister falls silent, and a bugler standing by at the ready plays taps*

- We have received, as has the Evisceratomato Side, numerous letters and cards from other footballing nations, and many other footballers, offering their condolences and praising Eves' play. Those that we here in Snu...

*margaret jabs the minister again. hard.*

- ...er, that we have received will be forwarded to the management of the Evisceratomato National Side. We believe they will be made part of a permanent display in their national stadium in Eves' honor - that is, once the Evisceratomatoes settle in to their new land, and build a national stadium. Thank you all again for coming here today to honor a lost treasure of the Evisceratomato National Football Side, Eve Visser-Eight. Those of us who believe in one form or another of an after life hope to once again see Eve Visser-Eight at a later date.

*the minister leaves the microphone and starts off the pitch, followed by all the others gathered there on the field, except one. margaret steps to the microphone*

- There will be a reception, with a buffet style lunch, in the S..., er, the Football Hall of Fame in Eves' honor immediatley following this ceremony. The Hall of Fame is located just across Enfield Avenue from the stadium. All footballers, members of football management teams, and foreign dignitaries who wish to attend are invited. Once again, on behalf of the Evisceratomato National Side, the Hooligans, and footballers world wide, thank you all for coming to this small tribute to a fallen comrade.

*in total silence margaret leaves the pitch*

Snub Nose 38

05-11-2003, 17:53

*the buffet luncheon for eve visser-eight in the snub nose 38 football hall of fame is over. almost everyone has gone home. empty and half-empty dishes, bowls, glasses and cups are everywhere. the caterers are packing it up. maintenance staff is cleaning it up. the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages is waiting by the door for margaret, who has gone to the coat check to get her midnight blue hooded cape.*

- Ah, there you are. Trouble finding the cape?
- A little trouble finding my check. Somehow it wound up in my shoe. And, I never did find the check for my rubber chicken. They didn't want to give it to me. Can you imagine? How many people do you think checked a rubber chicken today?
- *(chuckle)*! Well, no harm done. It was a nice ceremony, wasn't it?
- Yes, and for the most part so was the luncheon.
- Those flippin' Cheerleaders! Just had to get drunk and...
- Look, they were way over there in the corner. I don't think many people even know they mooned the room.
- Thank god security hustled them out!

*margaret and the minister walk out the door, turn right and walk up enfield ave. after a short while - *

- Margaret? Um...just where are we going?
- Back to the office, chum.
- Uh...which office?
- Not to worry - the Penthouse Offices - where we were yesterday.
- Well...it's just so confusing. The basement? The office? The penthouse? The tent? The...
- Calm down. The Hooligans drew the match - they didn't lose. They're still in second place in Group 8.
- I know, but...well, for instance, my favorite beer stein got left in the tent. My best tux is still missing from the last move up from the basement. It's all a little unsettling.
- As long as they get through the qualifiers and into actual World Cup 9 competition, we'll be fine.
- I don't want to go back to Elba. I won't!
- Nah, before that happens we'll go back to riding the rails, or hiding out in the desert. Elba wasn't my cup of tea, either.
- I couldn't even get a cup of tea there.

*as the walk on up the avenue, into the dusk, we turn left on springfield and head for our hotel room.*

NASTIC 2

05-11-2003, 18:47

Nastic Sports Review

Enough said....

[code:1:163d0f1083]

GROUP 2
P W D L F A PTS
Haraki (2) 9 5 3 1 19 11 18
Commerce Heights (23) 9 5 1 3 14 12 16
Errinundera (15) 9 4 3 2 13 9 15
Eauz (52) 9 5 0 4 11 11 15
Akbarland (37) 9 4 0 5 12 12 12
SterlingIce 9 3 1 5 10 11 10
CallMeBernard 9 2 2 5 10 17 8
NASTIC 2 9 1 4 4 12 18 7
[/code:1:163d0f1083]

Gilmeecia

05-11-2003, 18:56

The Gilmeecia International Times
Where the news crawls to die

Hellmouth? Hell, Yes!

by Gillian Gilquest, exclusive to the GIT

In a poll conducted yesterday by rogue researchers from Loro Sae’s LoveDean Community College, common Gilmeecians-off-the-street overwhelmingly supported the transportation of the world’s third-largest Hellmouth from Lemmitania to Gilmeecia. By a margin of 59% to 2%, Gilmeecians said that “The Hellmouth belongs in Gilmeecia;” and by a 48% to 3% margin, they agreed with the statement, “I cannot freaking wait for the Hellmouth to arrive!” Responses of “Huh?” “Wha?” and “I dunno” after the third time the question was asked, were not counted in the results.

President Louis Gilsterson said on hearing of the poll results, “Well, that’s what I’ve been saying all along. The Hellmouth rightfully belongs right here in Gilmeecia, where we can keep a close eye on it. You can’t trust those Lemmitanian socialists not to use it for evil or something.”

The ten-year battle in international court over the fate of the Hellmouth is nearing its conclusion; the justices are expected to announce a decision within the week.

Kickassers Running Out Of Nice Juicy Asses
Having kicked the ass of every team in their World Cup qualifying group*, the national football squad are starting to worry that they’ll soon run out of targets for their ass-kicking feet of doom. With an 8-0-1 record, the Kickassers trail only defending World Cup champions Liverpool England in the overall standings. Not that overall standings count for diddly.

Said Coach Horschackio, “I couldn’t be happier with the team’s performance. We’re having an absolutely brilliant run. And I was pleased to see that nobody got bitten during our harrowing trip to Auir II.”

Auir II, a nation that may be infested with vampires, hosted the Kickassers last week, and came away 0-2 losers on a pair of goals by Gilgo Gobbins. Gobbins scored again last night at the National Stadium as the Kickassers again kicked the colelctive ass of the nation of Morawny on a 3-1 score. Gobbins was joined in the goal-scorers’ circle by Bix Gilderbecke and the unlikely defender Rose Krantzengil, whose harrowing brush with death in the previous World Cup has energized her to new heights of spectacular ass-kickdom this time around. Krantzengil became the first Kickassers defender ever to score a goal in international play.

*Editor's note: 'cept Giant Zucchini

Ravenspire

05-11-2003, 19:13

Matchday 10 results (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2021433#2021433) and tables are early today. Enjoy, or deal, as appropriate. 8)

Snub Nose 38

05-11-2003, 19:37

Raven - EB: 2 Minor errors in 10th day charts

Group 1. God Squad is mathematically eliminated. LE=25, ORD=21, KP=20. GS=7. Max more possible = 12. 12+7=19.

Group 8. Wildthings Realm, with three draws, should have 3 points.

9th day
[code:1:320caccc5e]Group 8 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Oglethorpia (10) 9 5 2 2 21 12 9 17
Snub Nose 38 (20) 9 5 2 2 15 10 5 17
Tanah Burung (39) 9 5 2 2 12 8 4 17
Warnocks Wizards (77) 9 4 3 2 11 11 0 15
Hell Bovines (65) 9 4 2 3 9 12 -3 14
Demonic Beings (31) 9 4 0 5 12 9 3 12
Evisceratomatoes 9 2 1 6 5 12 -7 7
Wildthings Realm 9 0 2 7 8 19 -11 2[/code:1:320caccc5e]

Matchday 10 results
Evisceratomatoes 2 3 Oglethorpia
Wildthings Realm 1 1 Snub Nose 38
Demonic Beings 1 2 Hell Bovines
Tanah Burung 0 2 Warnocks Wizards

10th day (as it appears)
[code:1:320caccc5e]Group 8 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Oglethorpia (10) 10 6 2 2 24 14 10 20
Snub Nose 38 (20) 10 5 3 2 16 11 5 18
Warnocks Wizards (77) 10 5 3 2 13 11 2 18
Tanah Burung (39) 10 5 2 3 12 10 2 17
Hell Bovines (65) 10 5 2 3 11 13 -2 17
Demonic Beings (31) 10 4 0 6 13 11 2 12
Evisceratomatoes 10 2 1 7 7 15 -8 7
Wildthings Realm 10 0 3 7 9 20 -11 2 [/code:1:320caccc5e]

10th day (as it should appear)
[code:1:320caccc5e]Group 8 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Oglethorpia (10) 10 6 2 2 24 14 10 20
Snub Nose 38 (20) 10 5 3 2 16 11 5 18
Warnocks Wizards (77) 10 5 3 2 13 11 2 18
Tanah Burung (39) 10 5 2 3 12 10 2 17
Hell Bovines (65) 10 5 2 3 11 13 -2 17
Demonic Beings (31) 10 4 0 6 13 11 2 12
Evisceratomatoes 10 2 1 7 7 15 -8 7
Wildthings Realm 10 0 3 7 9 20 -11 3 [/code:1:320caccc5e]

Kaze Progressa

05-11-2003, 19:37

From the Daily Kangaroo:

IT'S IN OUR HANDS

Kaze Progressa remain in a qualifying position with four games to go.

The Progressans held The Belmore Family to a goalless draw in the City of Alan Stadium, Eaka Palera the hero with a string of fine saves, before picking up all three points on home soil against Zeronia courtesy of a late winner from Faiwe Irafma. The Zeronians took a shock lead after just nine minutes before Irafma equalised just three minutes later.

The Progressans are third in their group, two points ahead of the fourth-placed Belmorians who made the Progressans' route to the World Cup harder by sensationally defeating Liverpool England in the CCL Arena 2-1. A Liverpool England victory would have mathematically secured their qualification and also kept the Progressans five points ahead of the Belmorians, hence ensuring that only eight points from the last four games would have guaranteed their qualification.

The Progressans are offered at 4-5 to qualify and 11-10 not to with GetLucky, the country's bookmakers.

(Edit: Wildthings Realm do indeed have 3pts but are still eliminated already, as they cannot get more than 15pts which wouldn't get them to third)

Audioslavia

05-11-2003, 19:46

Audioslavia show their Schadenfreud at Lanky Dude
Audioslavia blow their Sexual Yoghurt over Sensual Products.

Ordeeoslarveea... sorry, i mean "Audioslavia" had the last laugh in Soundgrad last week as the plucky Lanky Dude were misfortunate enough to go home having been resoundly beaten.

Two first half goals by striker Bury and a header from fullback Branson buried the Lankdudian upstarts before they got into their stride.

Lanky Dude, who held the 'slaves to a draw in the first tie, battled back in the second half and finally broke through a tiring 'slavian defence when George Lanky slipped through a gap created by a smart move, and beat Davis to make the final score 3-1.

Tonights match against Sensual Products was slightly less eventful if you ignore all the sexual yoghurt flying about. Hey, what can i say, most fans throw streamers, these boys... well.... lets just say the floor was sticky and the majority of the females in the crowd are up the duff; this is not a stadium Lemmitania's girls should play in...... Having said that, the match was played in a surprisingly well-built stadium in the snow(at least i hope it was snow)-filled SP capital. The match however, was less eventful than the crowd was but still ended with a positive result, with Audioslavia winning 1-0 through a superb volley from Willow 2 minutes before half-time.

[code:1:9aec24d5b7]
Group 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts E
East Spaam 10 6 1 3 13 11 2 19
Aquilla 10 5 2 3 16 9 7 17
Audioslavia 10 5 2 3 12 7 5 17
Timway 10 4 4 2 17 11 6 16
Spaam 10 4 4 2 11 10 1 16
Lanky Dude 10 4 2 4 13 15 -2 14
Sensual Products 10 1 3 6 6 14 -8 6
Clearwater 10 1 2 7 7 19 -12 5
[/code:1:9aec24d5b7]

The two wins, added to the 3-1 victory over Clearwater and the 2-0 over Spaam means that Audioslavia climb to 3rd place in the group, with Spaam's surprise defeat to less-evolved neighbours East Spaam relegating them to 5th. Lanky Dude's promising form in the first half of the group stage seems to be fading, as Timway ran out 4-0 winners in front of the LankDudian faithful. The result ends the 3 game run where all of the top 6 were within 3 points of each other, as Lanky Dude drop off the pace. Timway, after slipping up at home to Clearwater earlier this week, have continued to climb and find themselves a point behind the 'slaves.

Audioslavia's next four matches are probably the hardest run of games the 'slaves have ever had. Next week they play host to league leaders East Spaam, who dispatched us 1-0 in the first tie. Home advantage will need to pay against the dangerous East Spaamians if the 'slaves want any hope of sitting pretty on the top of group D going into the next game. Unfortunately for the 'slaves, that 'next game' will be away to rivals Timway, the hardest game on paper as Timway are rated as the 5th best side in the world today. With both sides on a winning streak with everything to play for and everything to lose, this game should be a classic. The last two games are as hard as they come. A home tie at Aquilla and an away trip to Spaam will decide the 'slaves fate.

out of Aquilla, Audioslavia, Spaam, East Spaam and Timway, only 3 can make it into World Cup Nine. Stay tuned to find out who, or alternatively, log onto www.nationstates.net and find the 'results' thread, and it'll tell you all you need to know. Ive been Jeremy 'Danger' Jaffacake. g'night bitches.

The Belmore Family

05-11-2003, 21:59

BELMORE BEAT LIVERPOOL ENGLAND AWAY

The Belmore Family have made up for their loss last time around with an amazing away win. TBF beat the number 1 seeds 2-1, again with Alan Belmore scoring the 2 goals, both from slopy penalties.Dussis pulled LE back into the match late on but it was to late and TBF held on for their greatest victory of all time.

FINAL SCORE

THE BELMORE FAMILY 2
Alan Belmore (pen 23, pen 57)

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND 1
Dussis (87)

Kaze Progressa

05-11-2003, 22:08

(OOC: Good to see the Lanky Dude illogical run fizzling out IMO, given the lack of good roleplaying from them. That said, they did at least post briefly on about three matches...)

Rejistania

05-11-2003, 22:10

OOC: I told once, that Rejistanians tend to lose their minds after victories. Here is another example of this.

In the small town Sanis kalesa, a strange call reached the local police station.
Policeman: Hejida. Police of Sanis kalesa, Janme'he.
Woman: *an old woman is speaking* Hello, I am Rikade'he and I need your help.
Policeman: What has happened?
Woman: The whole town seems to be entirely gone mad. Everyone is shouting or singing and running on the streets. What is happening there?
Policeman: Didn't you know? We have defeated Ariddia!
Woman: I didn't even know, that we had war with them. I mean,...
Policeman: *is trying hard not to laugh* Oh no, it was not a war, we defeated them in the World Cup.
Woman: World Cup?
Policeman: Yes, world cup. The best national soccer teams in the world play against each other.
Woman: And Rejistania has one of the best national teams?
Policeman: Yes we do, Today we won against the team, which is ranked 19th and the match before was won against Sek-vor..., Sek-vor-ne, ..., against the team, which was ranked 25th. And we did this while entereing as unranked minnows.
Woman: *gets excited* Great! Rejistanha won!
Policeman: The game is re-transmitted on TV-R tonight for all those, who had to work and yould not see it live. You can watch it then.
Woman: Sure I will! Excuse me, for disturbing you.
Policeman: I have to sit here anyway, so it doesn't matter. Bye!
Woman: Bye!

Snub Nose 38

05-11-2003, 22:10

The Minister of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids* recently took out his abacus and fiddled around with those beads for awhile. He then looked up and said:

"Well, I'll be a monkeys' uncle! According to the latest OTUI gathered up by the Dollars and Census agency, we now have a population in excess of one billion!"

A few firecrackers were lit, free jello was handed out at each post office, and a large banner affixed to the Capitol Building in Sten that reads:

OVER A BILLION SERVED!

*the ministry had truncated it's name in recent years for the sake of brevity, but the guy currently in charge of stuff for the borderlands of snub nose 38 issued an executive order to the minister that read, in part, "...brevity, smevity! that's the ministry's name, and you'll use it, or the new minister will." the minister didn't need to be told twice.

Commerce Heights

05-11-2003, 22:23

Bulldogs Take Third Straight Win For Second Time In Team History
COMMERCE HEIGHTS, CH - While Vojtilo seems to have had a problem keeping the ball out of the Manhattanite net, Quigley & Co. on the offense didn't have much of a problem getting into the Eauz net, either. CH scored the most goals that it ever has since the home blowout of Warnocks Wizards in WC8, but allowed a number of goals only exceeded by the WC7 losses to Pavesia and Runaway Moose.
(23) Commerce Heights 4 (Decker 12, Quigley 28, Wallace 46, Cahalane 69)
(52) Eauz 3 - FT
With Haraki, Errinundera, and Akbarland also winning, Group 2 now looks like this with just 4 games left:
[code:1:9c1fe4d636]Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Haraki (2) 10 6 3 1 22 12 +10 21
Commerce Heights (23) 10 6 1 3 18 15 +3 19
Errinundera (15) 10 5 3 2 15 9 +6 18
Akbarland (37) 10 5 0 5 14 13 +1 15
Eauz (52) 10 5 0 5 14 15 -1 15
SterlingIce 10 3 1 6 10 13 -3 10
CallMeBernard 10 2 2 6 11 19 -8 8
NASTIC 2 10 1 4 4 13 21 -8 7[/code:1:9c1fe4d636]
NASTIC 2 is 2 points away from being eliminated, and CallMeBernard is 3 points away. Haraki is 7 points away from qualifying, Commerce Heights is 9 points away, and Errinundera is 10 points away.
Commerce Heights Schedule
Day 1: vs NASTIC 2 – T 2-2
Day 2: vs SterlingIce – W 1-0
Day 3: at #52 Eauz – W 2-1
Day 4: vs CallMeBernard – L 1-2
Day 5: vs #37 Akbarland – W 1-0
Day 6: at #2 Haraki – L 2-3
Day 7: at #15 Errinundera – L 1-2
Day 8: at NASTIC 2 – W 2-1
Day 9: at SterlingIce – W 2-1
Day 10: vs #52 Eauz – W 4-3
Day 11: at CallMeBernard
Day 12: at #37 Akbarland
Day 13: vs #2 Haraki
Day 14: vs #15 Errinundera
Statistics - Team
[code:1:9c1fe4d636] Overall WC7 WC8 WC9
Games Played 33 10 13 10
Wins 15 3 6 6
Draws 8 3 4 1
Losses 10 4 3 3
Avg. Opp. Rank 78.7 62.6 81.7 90.8
Highest Opp. Rank 2 18 16 2
Highest Def. Opp. Rank 16 18 16 37
Avg. Offense 1.6 1.5 1.5 1.8 gpg
Avg. Defense 1.5 1.8 1.2 1.5 gpg
Goal Differential +5 -3 +5 +3
Rank 100 54 23[/code:1:9c1fe4d636]
Statistics - Individual
[code:1:9c1fe4d636]Team Scoring Leaders – WC9
Player G GF GPG
B. Quigley 10 4 0.40
J. Cahalane 10 4 0.40
C. Deppiesse 10 3 0.30
K. Decker 10 3 0.30
F. Wallace 10 2 0.20
E. Burns 10 1 0.10
M. Paritmongkol 10 1 0.10

Goaltending Leaders – WC9
Player G GA GPG
D. Vojtilo 7 8 1.14
A. Yago 4 7 1.75

Team Scoring Leaders – Overall
Player G GF GPG
B. Quigley*** 33 16 0.48
K. Decker*** 33 10 0.30
C. Deppiesse..* 10 3 0.30
J. Cahalane*** 33 9 0.27
C. Romanowski**. 23 5 0.22
F. Wallace^^* 14 3 0.21
M. McCormick.^^ 5 1 0.20
D. Kakuta**. 23 3 0.13
M. Paritmongkol*** 33 2 0.06
E. Burns*** 33 1 0.03

Goaltending Leaders – Overall
Player G GA GPG
A. Yago.^^ 9 12 1.33
D. Vojtilo*** 26 36 1.38

..*/..^ starter/backup in WC9
.*./.^. starter/backup in WC8
*../^.. starter/backup in WC7[/code:1:9c1fe4d636]
OOC: too lazy to do a Day 11 preview... :P

Bedistan

05-11-2003, 22:42

OOC: Egad, I'm two days behind now...I've got a bit of homework to do tonight, but after that I'll get in a rather large wrapup.

05-11-2003, 22:55

As interest seems to exist, Dire Arachnia announces sign-ups for the second Giant Evil Spider Football season (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=89762).

Be there or be a square who is not a Giant Evil Spider!

Octavius Prime
Sultan of Dire Arachnia

Total n Utter Insanity

06-11-2003, 00:19

Mac McMuck here again, this time we have a special live broadcast for you, from the TnUI home game against Auir II. We have an undercover reporter at the stadium, but he has to be very careful as it is under military guard. We apologise for the poor quality of the mini-cam. *switches to live feed* TnUI and Auir II teams are standing for their national anthems. The teams shake hands and we are underway. TnUI start the game going from right to left. Nice bit of gentle passing to start off. Auir II are coming forward for the ball. TnUI defenders are toying with the Auir II forwards. Lovely passing skill is shown by TnUI; they are world renown for it. Auir II intercept a pass, it’s counter-intercepted, only a minute in and we already have a break, 3 on 4. He takes a shot from 25 yards out. Deflected by the defender, hits the woodwork comes back out. There is a mad dash, lots of players in the box, can’t see the ball, all of a sudden it’s in the back of the net. TnUI 1-0 after 2 minutes. *the live feed begins to break up* We seem to be having technical difficulties. BANG! *the feed goes red* Looks like we may have to cut this short, this is Mac McMuck, goodnight.

Bedistan

06-11-2003, 01:03

BSTV Sports Today
with Sam Murphy and Joey Stanton

Sam: Good afternoon, and welcome to BSTV Sports Today! I'm Sam Murphy here with Joey Stanton. Glad to be back in the studio.

Joey: So am I. As I'm sure you've all noticed, the presidential campaigns are heating up, and they've been pre-empting our broadcasts for the last couple days.

Sam: Why are they doing this on BSTV? It's a sports channel, for crying out loud.

Joey: Well, you know Bedistan has a very high amount of voter apathy according to the UN. I guess they're trying to do something about it. I doubt it'll work.

Sam: Me too. Anyway, back to our original topic. Actually, we hadn't started our original topic yet, had we?

Joey: Nope.

Sam: In that case, let's start it now. We're here to talk about the World Cup. Three qualifying matches have taken place since we saw you last, so let's give a rundown of them.

Joey: Gladly. First up: matchday eight, away on Endray-Island. First half was pretty boring, a few good saves by both goalkeepers but nothing fancy. Javier Lewey did get his first goal of the year, though. A foul in the box by one of the Endray-Islander defenders gave us a penalty kick. Lewey took it, and...well, it went in. 1-0 Bedistan.

Sam: That's how it stayed at the half. The second half, though, was far more exciting. Endray-Island picked back up, snagging two quick goals early on -- one in the 50th and another in the 61st. Mitchell really seems to be losing his touch out there.

Joey: Coach Barber must think so, too, because he took Mitchell out after that and put Erik Oldenburg in his place. We were down by one now, and we couldn't afford any more goals.

Sam: In the 73rd minute, a familiar sight -- Darren Morlock scoring a goal for the Lions. That one tied the match at 2-2. But then here, just a few minutes later, it looked like the Islanders would take the lead back. That's a rocket of a shot heading straight for the goal, but as we see here, Oldenburg is endowed with some very fine reflexes. He makes the dive and just sends the ball out of harm's way. Expect to see some great things out of this 22-year-old in the future.

Joey: Finally, a freak shot in the 84th leads to our captain's very first international goal. We don't often see defenders successfully scoring, but Thomas saw the opening here and he went for it. BAM! Straight in. Mike Thomas finally with his first goal in his 64th international match.

Sam: And the final score there: ENDRAY-ISLAND 2 - BEDISTAN 3.

Joey: Then we have matchday nine, back at home.

Sam: Ugh, I'd rather not have seen this one. Horrible play by our guys out there at Holmes Stadium. Zinkoland got two balls by Mitchell in the first half, and the Lions had absolutely no retort. A disgraceful result: BEDISTAN 0 - ZINKOLAND 2.

Joey: That was short.

Sam: You can tell I didn't like that game.

Joey: And neither did Coach Barber. That had to be the most heartbreaking event in Mitchell's career -- he's in his last World Cup, and Coach Barber takes him off the starting eleven partway through! Oldenburg is now the official starting goalkeeper for the Lions.

Sam: Well, I'll admit it paid off in the next match. The away match to Kramerica got us back on track.

Joey: 12th minute -- here comes Fernando Sippel up into the box, kicks it, the Kramerican keeper sends it back, Phil Rivera gets it back in midfield, he shoots and gets it in.

Sam: Then in the 25th, Karina Kucharski -- in for a sick Tabitha Morgan -- fouls the opposing striker in the box, leading to a free kick. It goes in, and Kramerica equalizes.

Joey: But we're not out yet -- midfield sensation Claire Briscoe, trying to avenge two back-to-back losses for the Graceville Salamanders in the Champions League, powers another one into the corner of the net.

Sam: The final on that one: KRAMERICA 1 - BEDISTAN 2.

Joey: So, to recap: 3-2 away win on Endray-Island, 0-2 home loss to Zinkoland, and a 2-1 away win in Kramerica.

Sam: We're still second in the group on 22 points. Halfassedstates are first with 25, and Nikea and Endray-Island are battling it out for third.

Joey: Well, that's all we have time for tonight. Good luck to the Lions in their next match and for the rest of qualifying! Good night, everyone.

-----------------------------------------
Matchday 8:
Endray-Island 2 (50, 61)
Bedistan 3 (Lewey 32, Morlock 73, Thomas 84)

Matchday 9:
Bedistan 0
Zinkoland 2 (19, 37)

Matchday 10:
Kramerica 1 (25)
Bedistan 2 (Rivera 12, Briscoe 66)

Oglethorpia

06-11-2003, 01:30

The Maracaibo Post

Tasty-Evisceratomatoes bested in a game of futebol; Oglethorpia still on top of group eight
Oglethorpian win over the sentient Evisceratomatoes gives the side a two point lead on Snub Nose 38

THE FREE LAND OF EVISCERATOMATOES -- Jorge White stepped out of the Oglethorpian Amalgamated Industries business jet first -- immediately upon setting his first foot upon the soil of the Free Land, from whence the Evisceratomatoes first came, the sentient vegatables -- or fruits, assuming they are really based on tomatoes -- all took a step back.

For the last Oglethorpia-Evisceratomatoes match ended in striker Jorge White "killing" a sentient vegatable.

"I didn't kill anything; vegatable or fruit," said the striker following the first matchup. "It's not my fault there are some mad scientists out there bringing vegatables and dead people to life."

The Evisceratomatoes provided an excellent defense, but ironically, Jorge White would strike first for the Oglethorpians; this time, there were no "casualties" on the side of the Evisceratomatoes, though they were put one goal down in the 33rd minute.

Unfortunately, the Evisceratomatoes would pull even in the 37th. In what can only be described as "the single most bewildering, freak goal i've ever seen" in the words of Oglethorpian coach Guy Picciotto, Yamamoto-san would give up his first goal of the match; though some word argue it was he who scored the goal.

Urk Visser-Eight, wannabe of the great Giant Zucchini striker had just split the Oglethorpian defense in two, Ken'Ichi Yamamoto the only other target in front of an open goal -- in an instant, Yamamoto had "saved" the ball -- what followed was a goal that could either be attributed to Visser-8 or Yamamoto, the ball seeming to slip from the keepers hands and headed by either Visser-8 or the falling Yamamoto.

"I sure hope I don't get credited with the goal," the goalkeeper said after the match.

Visser-Eight would score again at the end of the first half -- a pair of goals by Kirk Calhoun in the 52nd and 59th, however sealed the fate of Evisceratomatoes, the match ending 2-3 in favor of Oglethorpia.

"Besides that first goal of the vegatables- or fruits, or whatever, we did pretty well," commented team captain Fernando Green.

Guy Picciotto had several other points to be proud of; for example, he cited the 100% survival rate of the futebolling fruits engineered by Tanah Burungian scientists and college alumni. "At least none of them splattered any of our players," coach Picciotto said. "It's also nice that we've now got an advantage on Snub Nose 38 and Tanah Burung; as i'm told they tied."

For Snub Nose 38 and Tanah Burung did tie, while Oglethorpia would defeat the Evisceratomatoes, giving them a two point lead in group eight over Snub Nose 38.

---

OGLETHORPIA - 3
White 33, Calhoun 52 59

EVISCERATOMATOES - 2
Visser-Eight/Yamamoto (OG) 37 45

Antaeus Rising

06-11-2003, 01:32

Welcome to the six o’clock news. Our main stories tonight. UCE Prime Minister kisses USA Prime Minister’s ass in World Assembly. Chocolate is found to lessen the chances of cancer says watchdog OFFCHOC. For now let’s go over to Lucy with the important sports news.

Good Evening, I’m Lucy Peacock. The Antaeus National Side took one more step towards qualifying for the World Cup with another two one scoreline, this time in our favour.

[code:1:e6bcf713c8]
Group 3 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Nikea 10 5 3 2 17 13 4 18
----------------------------------------------------------
Antaeus Rising 10 5 1 4 18 12 6 16
Endray-Island 10 5 0 5 16 14 2 15
[/code:1:e6bcf713c8]

With four games left there is a three way playoff for the final remaining spot. Kelly Slater had this to say:

“Anything other than victory over Endray-Island today would have meant it was all over. Nikea are a great team and it’s a shame that one of us won’t be making it to the finals. If we don’t, I hope I speak for everyone when I say we will be supporting them fully.”

That’s all for now, back to you Rob.

Thank you Lucy. Today in the World Assembly an agreement was signed that signalled an end to national borders. United Countries of Europe Prime Minister Mathew Lucas had this to say:

“This treaty brings us one step closer to our ultimate goal, World Peace and Harmony.”

OFFCHOC has conducted research into the benefits of eating 1 kg of chocolate a day. Their results show a lower rate of cancer in the chocolate eating group, but critics have dismissed the findings as chocolate propaganda.

“It’s clear they are just trying to sell more chocolate. The World Assembly needs to do something about the chocolate mafia! Ever since crime became unprofitable they have moved into the foods markets.”

That’s all from the six o’clock team, good evening.

06-11-2003, 01:32

DRAGONS FALL TO BULLONIEN ON THE ROAD;JENSIN'S CONTRACT TO BE TERMINATED AFTER QUALIFIERS

Holy Imperial City,DRAGONIA(DP)-To add insult to injury, the Dragonian Football Federation has decided to terminate National Team manager, Nikos Jensin's contract after the qualification rounds. This announcement comes after the Dragon's away loss to Bullonien. Jensin spoke earlier today about the DFF's desicion.
"I knew it was coming, but at the same time I was completely caught off guard. I expected to stay with the team longer to help them develop. I think this desicion does more harm than good; a new manager will just make the transition for these players more difficult."
Lissësúl Sargent was the only goalscorer for the Dragons as they fell 1-2 and mathmatically excluded themselves from WC9 contention.

Oglethorpia

06-11-2003, 01:42

Association of Futebol HQ
Tripoli, Maracaibo

Guy Picciotto sat across from Futebol Director George McDouglas.

Picciotto adjusted himself in the spartan chair, the entire room reeking of spartan-ness. McDouglas took off his glass, set down the bundle of papers he held in his hands, and addressed Picciotto. "Mr. Picciotto; you've done a fine job of coaching."

Picciotto looked back at McDouglas, after studying the office of the man for the sixth time.

"Thank you," the World Cup-coach replied.
"Would you still be able to preform- say, if we renamed the team 'the Badass Futebol squad?'"
"I figure it'd be okay."
"How about 'Superteam?'"
"That's okay too."
"Good. For lack of a better name, the 'World Cup-squad' is now called the Superteam."
"Fine with me."
"Keep it up."
"I will."

Picciotto was then shown the door, McDouglas giving him a last nod before settling back into his desk in the spartan office.

Liverpool England

06-11-2003, 03:40

Liverpool England winning streak snipped by The Belmore Family

Some fun facts
Previous Meetings:
Liverpool England won 1-0 (Venue: Bedistan, WC8 Second Round)
Liverpool England won 3-1 (Venue: The Belmore Family, WC9 Qf)

LE's star striker Paul Dussis plays in TBF for Alan City

Match Facts
Venue: CCL National Stadium, CCL, LE
Attendance: 144 200
Goals: 3
Yellow Cards: 4
Red Cards: 2
Amount of Stoppage Time played Total: 7min 47 sec
Amount of Stoppage Time Played half-time: 3 min 44 sec
Amount of Stoppage Time played Full-time: 4 min 3 sec

Scorers:
Alan Belmore [pen 23, pen 57]
Paul Dussis [87]

Red Cards: Mark Hearne (GK/LE) 22nd, Caddy Cannon (MF/LE) 55th

Aquilla

06-11-2003, 04:17

Greetings to you from KCHR! The Eagles were defeated 2-1 at East Spaam last night, as you surely all know. This dropped us down again, but then we were brought to #2 position by a 2-0 win over Clearwater. It won't be easy finishing qualification, though, as more than half the group has a shot at qualifying. It looks ugly, however, gamblers are betting on the 10-1 odds of qualification. In a neighboring country of course, gambling is illegal in Aquilla.

Lemmitania

06-11-2003, 04:34

OFFCHOC has conducted research into the benefits of eating 1 kg of chocolate a day. Their results show a lower rate of cancer in the chocolate eating group, but critics have dismissed the findings as chocolate propaganda.

Heh heh.

Eauz

06-11-2003, 12:15

Man, I should just not post anymore. I started off great, and now I'm 5W and 5L. This is horrible. I hope I can come back and win the next 3 matches :evil:

Lanky dude

06-11-2003, 14:19

Lanky dude

06-11-2003, 14:20

LANKY DUDES-ANOTHER DISSAPOINTING RESULT

LD have fallen dreadfully 4-0 at home to Timway. There huge number 10 had us 3-0 down by half time leaving us an uphill struggle in the second half, we were however out of contention when the converted a penalty.

FINAL SCORE
TIMWAY 4
<Number 10> (15, 27, 42) <Number 9 pen 63)

LANKY DUDES 0

Lanky dude

06-11-2003, 14:20

Double post

Liverpool England

06-11-2003, 14:22

LE proposes banning the following nation(s):
Lanky Dude

The Belmore Family

06-11-2003, 14:27

LE proposes banning the following nation(s):
Lanky Dude
why?

Liverpool England

06-11-2003, 14:28

i dunno, maybe horrible, if no, RPs?
</sarcasm>

The Belmore Family

06-11-2003, 14:29

i dunno, maybe horrible, if no, RPs?
</sarcasm>
3 RPs now---More than many other nations

Liverpool England

06-11-2003, 14:31

[snip] horrible RPs?
</sarcasm>
[snip]

Halfassedstates

06-11-2003, 14:38

'Game of the day' theme fades

Hello and welcome to our latest update on the Halfassedstates WC9 qualifying campaign. I'm Gary Luniker and with me once again is Alun Hansun.

AH- hello folks.

GL- After a poor start to the campaign against some of the expected weaker sides in the group, Halfassed brought themselves right back into contention with wins over the other seeded team in the group. At the half-way stage, Halfassed had actually managed to sneak to the top of the group - on goal difference.

AH- Yes they finally began to operate under Jarvis' and things have began to work a bit better, although the side does seem to be relying on an awful amount of luck at times, sometimes you have to wonder if someone is looking out for this side!

GL- They have struggled to 'kill teams off' as it were, but they are still getting the points, which is what all great teams do! The departure of Hope from the side seems to have helped Jarvis stamp his authority on the team.

AH- True Gary, very true.

GL- Well, in the second half of the qualifiers, Halfassed began with a trip to Zinkoland, who had pulled off a well deserved draw in Jarvis' first match in charge.

AH- It was a different story this time around, as Bundy linked with Milton after only 3 minutes to silence the home crowd. Ten minutes into the second half, Milton stepped up at the right time again to get on the end of a Ward through ball and score his and Halfassed's second of the night.

GL- A brilliant brace from Milton giving Halfassed their third 2-0 away win in a row. Game 9 saw the only side to defeat Halfassed in the campaign arrive in Sowhatsville. The Munro Stadium was filled to capacity for the first home international since Sir James' death.

AH- Yes Gary, it was an emotional night for the team and it seemed to be going the way of the visitors at the break. Kramerica were 2-0 up.

GL- Shockingly, out of the 7 goals Kramerica had scored in the campaign, 5 had come against Halfassed!!

AH- At half-time, however, Jarvis Smith made an inspired substitution, taking off, Ward, Thumb and Bundy from midfield and bringing on Soap, Shields and Le Madeer. The youngsters were not so affected by the emotion of the night, and began to control midfield. A great run and cross by Soap allowed Gunnet to get the first after 61 minute, and seconds later Halfassed equalised through a sublime Le Madeer free-kick. The match was heading towards a draw when Soap played a 1-2 with Sheilds, before sliding the ball through for Milton to thump home.

GL- 3-2 to Halfassed, and the first game in which the two strikers both managed to get their name on the scoresheet.

AH- Maybe they can work as a unit after all Gary!

GL- Well maybe, but things went back to normal in yesterdays game, with the front pair struggling to read each others intentions, in the end it took a brace from Bundy and a scrambled tap-in from Thumb to help Halfassed to a 3-2 win

AH- Yep but yet again the side showed their resiliance and ground out the result.

GL- Indeed Alun. And the win means that Halfassed go into their next match against Endray-Island hoping to equal a record 9 wins in a row, first set by the WC7 squad!

AH- That would be quite an acheivement for Jarvis Smith, especially after all the stick he had received early in this campaign!

GL- Heres wishing him and the team well for that one!

AH- Goodnight folks

GL- Till next time!

06-11-2003, 15:52

[snip] horrible RPs?
</sarcasm>
[snip]

Dire Arachnia is amused by puny human bickering between nations of Liverpool England and The Belmore Family. If either nation wishes to be devoured by Giant Evil Spiders, we would be happy to oblige.

Octavius Prime
Sultan of Dire Arachnia

Total n Utter Insanity

06-11-2003, 15:55

Dire Arachnia is amused by puny human bickering between nations of Liverpool England and The Belmore Family. If either nation wishes to be devoured by Giant Evil Spiders, we would be happy to oblige.

Octavius Prime
Sultan of Dire Arachnia

Dear Octavius Prime,
We thank you for your kind offer. Please find enclosed a blank cheque to cover the expenses of devouring both nations.
Signed El Presidente of the World Cup Committee

One Red Dot

06-11-2003, 16:54

The Freedom Papers – Evening Edition
The Daily Propaganda - The ONLY Legal Paper in One Blue Dot

ORD Safe with New Mascot
OBD ELIMINATED, Desperate Measures Sought

ORD has finally decided to give themselves a mascot at last after 5 World Cups. They have decided to call themselves the Red Dot Wolves. The 'Name the Red Dot International Team' competition was won by a 25 year old baker in Parkville, Westshores. Other entries also included Lions, Moose, Tigers, Grizzlies and Evisceratomatoes.

On a more solemn note, two time World Cup champion Brazillico has become non-existant after their national leader had failed to make contact with the nation. It is a great loss to the World Cup family as a great nation in football is now lost.

In the qualifying rounds, ORD has performed well in staying in Top 3 of the table which promises to ensure a safe path to the World Cup. An exciting 2-2 draw against The Belmore Family temporarily brought ORD to third place and did not settle any scores since the goaless draw at the first meeting. But a 1-0 win each against bottom two Zeronia and God Squad made the Dottians feel safe again.

[code:1:a75378460f]Group 1 P W D L GF GA GD Pts E
Liverpool England (1) 10 8 1 1 21 7 14 25
One Red Dot (29) 10 6 3 1 15 8 7 21
Kaze Progressa (59) 10 6 2 2 15 9 6 20
The Belmore Family (13) 10 5 3 2 13 8 5 18
Soviet Haaregrad 10 3 1 6 6 13 -7 10
Kegarna 10 2 2 6 7 16 -9 8
God Squad (42) 10 2 1 7 8 15 -7 7 X
Zeronia (79) 10 1 1 8 5 14 -9 4 X[/code:1:a75378460f]

Unfortunately, God Squad and Zeronia are now eliminated as it is mathematically impossible for them to reach the top 3. However, newcomers Soviet Haaregard and Kegarna still have a shot at it.

ORD World Cup Record:
[code:1:a75378460f]
World Cup WC4 WC5 WC6 WC7 WC8 WC9
Matches Played 9 10 17 13 13 10

Wins 3 5 9 9 6 6
Draws 3 0 7 1 2 3
Losses 3 5 1 3 5 1

Goals For 9 17 31 31 22 15
Average GF 1.00 1.70 1.82 2.38 1.69 1.50
Goals Against 10 16 16 9 19 8
Average GA 1.11 1.60 0.94 0.69 1.46 0.80
Goal Diff. –1 +1 +15 +22 +3 +7
Average GD -0.11 0.11 0.88 1.69 0.23 0.70

Total Matches 9 19 36 49 62 72

Acc. Wins 3 8 17 26 32 38
Acc. Draws 3 3 10 11 13 16
Acc. Losses 3 8 9 12 17 18

Accumulated GF 9 26 57 88 110 125
Ave. Acc. GF 1.00 1.37 1.58 1.80 1.77 1.74
Accumulated GA 10 26 42 51 70 78
Ave. Acc. GA 1.11 1.37 1.17 1.04 1.13 1.08
Accumulated GD -1 0 +15 +37 +40 +47
Ave. Acc. GD -0.11 0 0.42 0.76 0.65 0.65

Average Opp. Rank 64.67 65.20 52.80 53.38 91.38 70.57
Highest Opp. Rank 12 5 8 7 21 1
Lowest Opp. Rank 100 100 100 100 150 150

Pre-Match Rank 100 27 30 22 16 29

*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.[/code:1:a75378460f]

Match Fixtures for ORD, Day 11~14
Day 11: One Red Dot (29) v Kegarna @ Gweridijong City Stadium
Day 12: Soviet Haaregrad v One Red Dot (29) @ Soviet Haaregrad
Day 13: Liverpool England (1) v One Red Dot (29) @ Liverpool England (1)
Day 14: One Red Dot (29) v Kaze Progressa (59) @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium

Over in OBD, however, things are not so cheery for them in the World Cup. OBD has lost 10 consecutive matches since the World Cup started and is by far the only nation with no games won. They, however, have broken many records which include, having losing 100% of the matches, being the first nation to be eliminated mathematically, being the first nation to have a negative two digit goal difference, and being the first nation to concede more than 20 goals. It is serious loss for OBD as their debut run has ended in ruins. It is predicted that they will get 82nd position and earn the Wooden Spoon.

They have lost to:
Total n Utter Insanity (49) 0-1,
Bullonien (29) 1-2 and
Gilmeecia (17) 2-3.

They are happy to announce, though, that their goal difference per match is decreasing due to the smaller goal margins.

[code:1:a75378460f]Group 9 P W D L GF GA GD Pts E
Gilmeecia (17) 10 9 0 1 20 8 12 27
Total n Utter Insanity (49) 10 7 1 2 16 5 11 22
Giant Zucchini (11) 10 6 2 2 16 8 8 20
Bullonien (26) 10 4 2 4 16 6 10 17
Auir II 10 5 1 4 11 12 -1 16
The Dragonian Empire (55) 10 2 1 7 10 19 -9 7 X
Morawny 10 2 1 7 4 16 -12 7 X
One Blue Dot 10 0 0 10 7 25 -18 0 X[/code:1:a75378460f]

OBD World Cup Record:
[code:1:a75378460f]
World Cup WC9
Matches Played 10

Wins 0
Draws 0
Losses 10

Goals For 7
Average GF 0.70
Goals Against 25
Average GA 2.50
Goal Diff. –18
Average GD -1.80

Total Matches 10

Acc. Wins 0
Acc. Draws 0
Acc. Losses 10

Accumulated GF 7
Ave. Acc. GF 0.70
Accumulated GA 25
Ave. Acc. GA 2.20
Accumulated GD -18
Ave. Acc. GD -1.80

Average Opp. Rank 65.86
Highest Opp. Rank 11
Lowest Opp. Rank 150

Pre-Match Rank 150

*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.[/code:1:a75378460f]

Match Fixtures for OBD, Day 11~14
Day 11: Giant Zucchini (11) v One Blue Dot @ Giant Zucchini
Day 12: Morawny v One Blue Dot @ Morawny
Day 13: One Blue Dot v Auir II @ Stadium of the High Council
Day 14: The Dragonian Empire (55) v One Blue Dot @ The Dragonian Empire

Halfassedstates

06-11-2003, 17:53

Halfassedstates WC history
[code:1:69c42bc08c]
P w d l GF GA Post WC ranking
WC5 7 2 2 3 9 14 49
WC6 19 12 4 3 40 19* 5
WC7 15 12 0 3 37 10+ 8
WC8 14 6 5 3 28 19 13
WC9 10 8 1 1 17 7# unknown

Total for Halfassedstates
P W D L GF GA GD
65 40 12 13 131 69 +62

[/code:1:69c42bc08c]

* includes 1-3 PSO defeat by Spaam
+ includes 1-2 AET defeat by Spaam
# currently ongoing World Cup

Useless facts:-
Halfassed have lost 3 games in every WC they have competed in.
Our GF/game average is 2.015
Our GA/game average is 1.061
Halfassed have won 61.5% of their games
Halfassed fail to take anything from 1 in 5 games.

Our Highest ever rank was 5th after WC6
Our lowest rank was 49th after WC5
Our biggest jump so far was 44 places (post WC5-post WC6)
Our biggest slide so far was 5 places (post WC7 - post WC8')

Total n Utter Insanity

06-11-2003, 18:26

[code:1:55aecb8eb6]Post WC ranking
unknown[/code:1:55aecb8eb6]

Any ranks can be found here.
http://nswcc.tripod.com/rankings.html
Made by yours truly

Gilmeecia

06-11-2003, 19:44

The Gilmeecia International Times
Where the news crawls to die

Gilgamesh McVampire On The Loose

Gillian Gilquest, GIT special reporter

Gilmeecia – According to excited witnesses throughout the less-densely-populated regions of the country, former Kickasser midfielder and known member of the Undead community Gilgamesh McPhee has been running amok, sucking the blood right out of people’s necks. Blood-fiend activity has been particularly pronounced in the International Industrial Zone (once the National Forest), where no fewer than seven strange foreigners claim to have been blood-sucked.

Said undocumented factory worker Hans Mogul, “Yesss, I vasss jussst valking avround, mindving my ovn bvisnessss, ven vot do you know, but a crazed bloodssssucker jumped ouvt and ssssucked my blood! It vassss hidveousssss.” Mogul’s statement has not been confirmed by reliable sources.

Meanwhile, Lig Poopselman, Head of Science for the nation’s Special Forces, has indicated that it is not possible that McPhee is terrorizing the countryside. “How can he when we have him hermetically locked up—I mean—when there’s no such things as vampires? By the way, if there are any foreign readers of this esteemed international newspaper, they might like to know that we are not on the verge of making twenty-five ounces of Vampire Virus available on the black market. Just to let you know that.”

True or not, the stories of Vampiric Hell are only going to get more graphic as time goes on and the Hellmouth nears our borders.

Kickassers on a Tear

The national football squad continued its winning ways against One Blue Dot yesterday, handing the winless bottom-dwellers a 3-2 defeat. As usual, goals were scored by Gobbins (2) and Gilderbecke. Said Coach Horschackio, “We now have the best qualifying record in World Cup 9. Something must be wrong. Is the Hellmouth here already?”

This reporter says, “I sure freaking hope so.”

Dark Outcasts

06-11-2003, 20:50

DEMONIC DEMISE

The chancellor (the posh term for the scruffy, horned guy in the corner who shows a bit of initiative at running things) has decided that from hence forth the Demonic Beings will no longer participate in the World Cup. This was decided after, despite being quite well-ranked, the Beings are still with as little chance of qualifying as pigs have of mastering inter-steller travel and building a coloney on Mars of qualifying. The Beings are therefore going to stick at doing what they do best (mainly being evil) until a time when they feel they are evil enough to take over the oppositions body's and so win a game. We bid a fond if not evil farewell with the promise that, as in the words of Arnie so simply put 'we'll be back'.

(OOC: The real reason is lack of time prehaps with just one nation, i'll be able to RP more and better)

DARK TIMES IN DARK PLACES

With just a few points separating the leading nations in group 9 a gloom has fallen over the whole of Outcast. Will we or won't we qualify are the words on everybody's mouth, if only they could talk as they are muted with anticipation. A good couple of wins would keep us in the running but the hopes of an entire nation rest on the teams shoulders' (you'll be pleased to know that know team member has been hurt during the writing of this article) with only a few but important games to go.

On a lighter note the newspaper has got the winner of the song writing competion. The competition was to write a song which fans could sing during the WC. The winning entry was from a group who call themselves 'Purple Laundry'. Here is the entry:

"Oh ahh Outcasts.......(followed by many repetitions in varying tempo and pitches of these three words)"

The judges chose this song from all the entrys (actually this was the only entry) because it was catchy and annoying to everyone particularly the opposition so watch out!

Commerce Heights

06-11-2003, 21:23

[code:1:807799140f]Post WC ranking
unknown[/code:1:807799140f]

Any ranks can be found here.
http://nswcc.tripod.com/rankings.html
Made by yours truly
OOC: I seriously doubt that you have the post-WC9 rankings on the site. ;)

IC:
Memorial Stadium To Be Used For Haraki Game
COMMERCE HEIGHTS, CH - New Lexington sports officials are currently working on preparing Memorial Stadium, the second-largest stadium in Commerce Heights (capacity: 82,307), for the match against Haraki in a couple days. 15,000 temporary seats are being set up to minimize the number of tickets that will be voided by the move. Poor scheduling of the NSL (OOC: National Soccer League) championship game between Aeropag and New Prince means that Maxisoft Stadium cannot be used by the Bulldogs on that day. All CupPass owners will be able to use their tickets, but anyone else with Maxisoft Stadium tickets will need to exchange them for tickets to Memorial Stadium. Due to the lower quality of the stadium, the price of the new tickets is §25 lower (CupPass owners will not be given a refund, as their tickets were already purchased at sharply discounted rates). PariMedia Stadium in Lexington was to be used, but it turns out that that stadium is also booked for the NSL consolation match between Commerce Heights and New Hampton.

Audioslavia

06-11-2003, 22:36

Gilmeecia

06-11-2003, 22:49

LE proposes banning the following nation(s):
Lanky Dude

Audioslavia proposes a bitch slapping of the following nation(s):
Liverpool England

if a bitch-slapping isnt appropriate, then Audioslavia is fully prepared to build 'The Longest Stick In The World' in an attempt to get LE's president off his high horse.

Gilmeecian president Lou Gilsterson still hasn't heard back on his four-year-old challenge to the Liverpudlian leader to come down and fight him over the assertion that Gilmeecia is "a territory" of Lemmitania.

So maybe if you successfully poke him off his horse, Lou could be waiting on the ground to kick his ass?

Audioslavia

06-11-2003, 23:26

why of course :) people should learn of the fact that Gilmeecia isnt so much a 'territory' of Lemmitania, but more of a 'bitch' of Audioslavia :)

Liverpool England

07-11-2003, 00:40

The [b]King[/i] (not President) has no time for trivial matters like these. He invites Mr. Gilsterson to talk things out in CCL.

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 01:08

Damn forums 1x

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 01:11

Damn forums 2x

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 01:12

The Porlamar Times

Oglethorpian Superteam = best offense
Recently-named Superteam sports World Cup qualifying's best offense after matchday 10

By Bill Christmas

LOS POLVERINES, OGLETHORPIA -- The government, being a large investor in the Oglethorpian domestic and world futebol programs was surprised to see the recently renamed Oglethorpian Superteam listed as having the World Cup's best offense.

Through ten matchdays, the Oglethorpian World Cup Superteam sports qualifying's best offense, with 24 goals across ten matches.

Said team captain Fernando Green: "That's great news, man; Jorge White and Torrence Black- well, it's no wonder. Those two guys just weave around the defenders."

Torrence Black was not-so-humble about the report. "It's no wonder. I kick ass."

Kirk Calhoun, Oglethorpia's third starting-striker truely was humble about it. "It's all Torrence and Jorge -- I get an occassional goal."

Association of Futebol Director George McDouglas was fairly elated at the news. "They truely are worthy of the name 'Superteam.' What a great squad the gov't and the AoF has put together following the drunken debacle after World Cup 8."

McDouglas was referencing the firing of the entire World Cup 8-squad, all found drunk outside the establishment 'the Bloody Hangover.' The Oglethorpian squad now, all first-time Cup players are living up to the moniker of 'Superteam' as they lead group eight after ten matches with four remaining.

Watch out for the Oglethorpian Superteam as qualifying nears an end with four matches left.

Ravenspire

07-11-2003, 01:19

Matchday 11 results (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2030537#2030537) and tables are up.

Liverpool England

07-11-2003, 01:22

Liverpool England restart winning ways, defeat already-eliminated Zeronia 2-1

Liverpool England 2 (Dussis 10th, 46th)
Zeronia 1

The national team today defeated an already eliminated Zeronia 2-1 on home soil. The team, who are top of Group 1 but can still be eliminated, have the best record in the World Cup so far. Group 1 has the most eliminations yet, 4. Out of the remaining 4, all are well-known teams, so there is going to be an upset.

Liverpool England

07-11-2003, 01:23

Liverpool England

07-11-2003, 01:23

Total n Utter Insanity

07-11-2003, 01:56

OOC: I seriously doubt that you have the post-WC9 rankings on the site. ;)

Please check again.

Total n Utter Insanity

07-11-2003, 01:56

Damn I only Double posted. I was sure I hit submit 3 times like Ogle and LE.

Liverpool England

07-11-2003, 02:02

TnUI: Post-WC rankings for Post- WC9.

Liverpool England

07-11-2003, 02:02

TnUI: Post-WC rankings for Post- WC9.

07-11-2003, 02:27

Victory at Tanah Burung

Warnocks Wizards Continue their Fine Form, Stun the Crocs 2-0

From our news services...

Matchday 10, Tanah Burung–Warnocks Wizards national team continued their fine form against the top teams in Group 8, defeating Tanah Burung 2-0 going away. On a night when The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe stunned a large home crowd, the Red and White Wizards accomplished the same. Manager Ufwurz the Furious made a few changes to the rugged lineup that battled Oglethorpia in matchday 9. Preferred No 1 goalkeeper Ishhak the Smasher regained his health and replaced the Timid one, Globtakh. Right back Ufdush the Nasty came in in place of tough defender Mausnik the Cleaver. And Gabdul the Looter returned, relegating target man Globdreg the Destroyer to the bench. This allowed star striker Ishklash the Snooty to return to his favoured position up front. Thus, the Wizards returned to their positive 4-3-1-2 formation, reasserting the quick, short passing style of play Wizardites have come to love.

From the outset the Tanah Burungian crowd must have sensed the Wizards came to play. The slick passing of in form Bagdreg the Mauler and Ghazghash the Sleazy were earning oohs and ahhs from the respecting spectators, and nearly led to an opening goal in the first five minutes of play. Bagdreg’s defense-splitting through ball proved too good even for the Wizards frontline, when a wide open Ashmazh the Tough was a little slow in reacting to the pass, allowing home keeper Nino Konis to race off of the line and collect the ball. The home side, slightly perhaps against the run of play, then came close when Yosepha Syahrir grazed the far post with a well taken shot. The Wizards then did open the scoring in the 24th minute. Gabdul the Looter’s fine diagonal ball was met by the onrushing Ishklash, who scuffed it past the helpless Konis. 1-0 to the Red and White Wizards. The home side pressed the Wizards for an equaliser to end the half, but Taur Matan Ruak’s volley was well saved by Ishhak in the end.

The halftime performance by The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe, who were invited by the Tanah Burung government following some embarrassing comments made by TB national coach Bi Kikere (see related story (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1970706&highlight=#1970706)), at first were received by a mixed response from a largely puzzled crowd. After all to a non-WW citizen, the sight of seven foot tall Uruk’Hai wearing neon leg-warmers and prancing around with colourful flags and ribbons must come as quite a shock. The Troupe, finally recovered from the pasting they received by rowdy Orcs on Ripe Fruit night at Fortress Warnock, gave a composed performance for the Tanah Burung faithful. A stunning moment of the performance came at the finale when the Troupe gathered around the centre circle of the pitch, covering the area with their flags. They removed the colourful banners in unison, and out leaped an energetic Arch-Mage Rahzlok the Alligator. The crowd were stunned and in awe of the nine-foot tall salivating crocodilian’s magical appearance; this was the first time they had seen the WW mascot. The crowd then burst into warm applause as Rahzlok waved and blew kisses to the spectators as he exited the pitch.

The second half kicked off with the homeside in control. However, the Wizards’ centre back pairing of Shagrukh the Strongclaw and Ghazukh the Burner were skillfully shutting down the final ball of the TB midfield. The Wizards surprisingly doubled their lead on 58 minutes. Ishklash was fouled just outside the home side’s box, to the right of the penalty arc. Bagdreg the Mauler stepped over the ball in preparation to take the free kick. A hush came over the crowd as Bagdreg approached the ball. He whipped in a beautiful bending ball with his left foot that sailed around the Tanah Burung wall and into the net. Not many can bend the ball like Bagdreg. 2-0 to the Red and White Wizards. Arch-Mage Rahzlok the Alligator was dancing for joy on the sidelines. The home side had but a few more chances, and the Wizards defense snuffed them out in the end. Full time: Tanah Burung 0, Warnocks Wizards 2.

With the tonight’s victory, the Red and White Wizards have a remarkable record of 4-2-1 against the top four ranked teams in the group. Their only loss to date being the Mediagate match of matchday 1 with Snub Nose 38. Also with the victory tonight, the Red and White Wizards move into third place in the group and into a World Cup qualifying spot for the first time ever in their history. There are still four matches to go, however, so lets not count our alligators before they hatch.

Warnocks Wizards: Ishhak the Smasher, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c), Ghazukh the Burner, Ufdush the Nasty, Bublok the Destroyer, Bagdreg the Mauler, Gabdul the Looter (Durbret the Choker 77), Ghazghash the Sleazy (Gromdul the Gasher 77), Ashmazh the Tough, Ishklash the Snooty.

Unused substitutes: Globtakh the Timid, Mausnik the Cleaver, Globdreg the Destroyer.

For their next match in group 8, Warnocks Wizards return home to Fortress Warnock to battle the Demonic Beings. The match will also be Perfume Giveaway night, sponsored by billionaire perfume-maker and giant spider Shelob-VIII-Legs in honour of the launching of her new giant spider club, Shelobs Obsession. The first 10,000 spectators will receive a free bottle of Ms. Shelob’s best-selling perfume.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 02:30

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 02:31

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 02:31

Shut up, TnUA

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 02:33

Shut up, TnUA

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 02:34

The Maracaibo Post

Oglethorpia defeats Wildthings Realm -- fans neighter agape, alarmed, amazed, appalled, astonished, astounded, awestruck or dumbfounded
Oglethorpian Superteam defeats the Wildthings Realm 3-nil

SHEFFINGHAM, MARACAIBO -- Matchday 11, a home game for the Oglethorpian Superteam vs the unranked Wildthings Realm -- clearly a match in favor of the 10th ranked home-team. The Oglethorpian Superteam would play to a crowd of 108,000 in Sheffingham, Maracaibo, the crowd behind the goalie of the Wildthings Realm awash with Oglethorpian fans donned in the Superteam's jersey, and the prerequisite flag maybe some 50 feet in width.

Yamamoto-san would have one slipup -- nearly giving up a goal to the Wildthings Realm in the 13th minute, missing the waiting ball in front of him, leaving him on the ground, defender Bruce Corwin clearing the ball before any damage could be done with keeper Yamamoto down and out of the goal.

"That was a big mistake," Yamamoto-san would admit, "but at least Bruce was there," he said thankfully.

Midfielder Floyd Black would have his first goal of his World Cup, knocking the ball off a clearly oblivious Wildthings Realm defender and right past the keeper for a goal in the 24th minute. Black was fully taken aback by the goal.

"For starters, I wasn't even trying to hit him -- much less, the ball actually doing so and going into the goal," said the surprised Black.

Teammate Torrence Black would score the 2nd goal of the match only five minutes later, beautifully curving the ball in from just outside the goalie's box. A penalty on striker Jorge White would also give the team a penalty kick just after Black's goal, White successfully converting the kick putting the Superteam up 3-nil over the Wildthings Realm.

Jorge White was pleased with the penalty kick. "My first of the Cup, and it came out in favor of us," the striker commented. Torrence Black's sentiment was as usual. "That kick, and I, kicked ass." Though some would argue the distinction of kicking ass would belong to midfielder Floyd Black, who literally did so to a Wildthings Realm defender and scoring a goal in the process.

Still others believe it is the Gilmeecians who kick ass, their team name being the Kickassers.

The rest of the Oglethorpian Superteam's match would be quiet; the defense playing well shutting down the few drives the Wildthings Realm made.

"All in all, a fine match of futebol on our side," said Guy Picciotto. When asked if he felt any pressure of being named the Superteam, he said "none at all. We've just won our first match since taking on the moniker, and alongside Sqournshelous, we have the best offense of World Cup qualifying. I don't mean to be cocky, but it's not a mislabelling of our team at all."

"I'm jus' glad 'or Floyd Blac' makin' tha'goal righ'there," said team captain Fernando Green. "Def'nit'ly a freak goal 'or 'at ole chap."

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 03:11

WORLD CUP WATCH
Post Matchday 11

RAY MCHALE: Hey folks, qualifying is flying fast, and the Oglethorpian Superteam has only three matches left in it's World Cup IX qualifying bid. With me here is Eduardo Escobar, filling in for Mike White, out getting drunk in the fine Ravenspiran pubs around our hotel. Eduardo, want to start us off with anything?

EDUARDO ESCOBAR: No.

RAY: Well then. Let's cover matchday eleven for the Oglethorpian fans back home; Oglethorpian Superteam 3, the beasts from the Realm of Wildthings 0.

EDUARDO: Just because they're from a nation called "the Wildthings Realm" doesn't mean their national team is composed of beasts.

RAY: Well what does it mean?

EDUARDO: I'm pretty sure the WCC has rules against non-human participants playing international futebol. Hence, a completely seperate Giant Evil Spider Football League.

RAY: Well, enough about the rules, regulations and limits that the World Cup Committee has imposed upon the international game.

EDUARDO: Right. The matchup of our own Superteam vs. the Wildthings Realm can be summed up in two words- mad awesome.

RAY: Hmm...no, I don't think that works. Try again.

EDUARDO: Bitchin' cool?

RAY: No. And we're on national TV. No language.

EDUARDO: Oh, right. Well, to be politically correct, i'll go with "total pwn4g3."

RAY: I can agree on that. The Wildthings Realm has already been mathmatically eliminated from any possible attempt at qualification, along with the sentient fruits, or vegatables, or whatever of the Free Land of Evisceratomatoes.

EDUARDO: Boy, those Ravenspiran futebol watcher-people sure can do some amazing stuff with numbers.

RAY: You mean futebol analysts?

EDUARDO: Yes. Things like goal difference -- they never had that when I played futebol for Los Polverines.

RAY: Actually, Eduardo, i'm going to have to disagree. 1) You're only 34, out of domestic competition because you slipped, fell, not even on the pitch, broke both a leg and an arm, and had a great deal of steel and space age alloys put into you due to the nature of the breakage.

EDUARDO: Tis true.

RAY: And i'm not done. 2) You were born after the advent of computerized scorekeeping, and even before then, people figured out goal difference in their head.

EDUARDO: I'm the product of a faulty education system.

RAY: The Oglethorpian education system is one of the finest in all the world. You just dropped out.

EDUARDO: That's why it's faulty.

RAY: What, they should have to drag you to school?

EDUARDO: That'd be nice.

RAY: What a twisted-sence of justice.

EDUARDO: That's me.

RAY: And with that interesting diversion of topic over, i'll ask you again. Eduardo, Snub Nose 38 vs. the Oglethorpian Superteam, rematch -- Oglethorpia playing to an opponent on their home pitch. What do you think?

EDUARDO: Well, besides the fact that you never asked me to say what I thought of that match in the first place-

RAY: Whatever, just tell me what you think.

EDUARDO: About what?

RAY: About Snub Nose 38 vs. the Oglethorpian Superteam.

EDUARDO: Oh, right. Hey, where are the cue cards?

RAY: Apparently the Maracaibo Sports Network is tired of your shenanigans and improvising, and decided that you didn't need cue cards at all.

EDUARDO: Ray, you improv all the time.

RAY: But i'm good at it.

EDUARDO: Special treatment.

RAY: No. And you're off topic for the second time. I'm just going to do it.

SNUB NOSE 38 is second to the Oglethorpian Superteam in group eight only by one win, matchday eleven creating that gap between first and second. Oglethorpia has 23 points, the Hooligans of Snub Nose 28/20 with 20. Snub Nose 38 will go into the match vs. the Superteam led by Knuckles, sure to score a goal against Yamamoto-san in goal.

EDUARDO: Yamamoto-san has given up 14 goals across 11 matches; that's about 1.3 goals per match.

RAY: Fantastic calculations, Eduardo.

EDUARDO: It's because they just brought back in the cue cards.

RAY: I now see that. Now, the Hooligans; led by Knuckles, and playing to a riotous crowd of Snub Nose 38 citizens; they may very well be able to defeat Oglethorpia for a second time, only the second time in history that the Oglethorpian Superteam has ever played the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans.

OGLETHORPIA will need to suck it up and play good futebol. Qualifying's best offence needs to work it's magic; and that means Jorge White and Torrence Black have got to get behind the Hooligan defense since they're such a formidable striking duo. It wouldn't hurt if Fernando Green got a couple of free and penalty kicks to give some added chances on goal.

EDUARDO: And Yamamoto-san; well, he needs to be on his best guard for this match where defense will count.

RAY: Right. I can see this one being a close match; maybe 3 goals tops for either side, the score within a goal. Ideally, it won't be a blowout, ala Anti-Nazis vs. Sqournshelous.

EDUARDO: You just compared one of the Cup's best qualifying teams, with an offense equal to that of the Superteam in number of goals vs. one of the worst teams of World Cup IX.

RAY: I realize that. It was to illustrate a point.

EDUARDO: Just making sure the fans, and all TV watchers alike are aware.

RAY: So, Eduardo: Snub Nose 38 Hooligans, Oglethorpian Superteam. Quick, tell me who wins.

EDUARDO: Superteam, they lost to them before and they'll be out to prove a point by defeating them on their home turf.

RAY: Good answer. We're definitely pullin' for the Oglethorpians in Snub Nose 38 to defeat the Hooligans.

EDUARDO: A Superteam victory would definitely solidify the use of the term by Association of Futebol Director George McDouglas.

RAY: That's right, the whole idea of using "Superteam" as a moniker for the squad was his idea; the team better do damn well under that name.

EDUARDO: They're already doing it. Ray, let me tell you my number one suggestion to the Superteam in beating the Hooligans.

RAY: What is it?

EDUARDO: Strap Evisceratomatoes all around strikers Jorge White, Torrence Black and Kirk Calhoun. The Hooligan defenders will run from the three strikers, lest they get too close and have the volatile fruits/vegatables explode in their faces.

RAY: What an evil those Tanah Burungian scientists unleashed upon the world with the creation of Evisceratomatoes.

EDUARDO: Actually, they're quite tasty.

RAY: I understand it helps if you're not a citizen of Snub Nose 38.

EDUARDO: It makes sense.

RAY: Well, we've run out of time; i'm sure there are things Eduardo and I would like to cover, but due to his amazing ability to get off task, we've got to go so you can see reruns of the Oglethorpian Superteam in action. For Eduardo Escobar, i'm Ray McHale. Goodnight from beautiful Ravenspire, and support the Oglethorpian Superteam facing off with Snub Nose 38's Hooligans!

Aquilla

07-11-2003, 05:12

We tied 1-1 with Lanky Dude today. We should have done better. As a result we are number four in the rankings. While it could still turn around there is less hope every day. Therefore I am resigning as coach, and hope that someone better can do the job

-Aquillan soccer coach

07-11-2003, 05:17

Damned Demons Disrupt Wizards Chances

Manager Ufwurz Furious at Controversial Goal in 2-1 Home Loss

From our news services...

Matchday 11, Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–Warnocks Wizards national team lost 2-1 last night in controversial fashion to the national team of the Demonic Beings, setting back their chance at a trip to Ravenspire/Europa Brittania. The Beings, damned by their own federation to never compete again in World Cup qualifying, stunned a standing-room only crowd on Perfume Giveaway night at Fortress Warnock. Their match winner in injury time left the result stinking in the eyes of many Wizardites, including Manager Ufwurz the Furious.

Ufwurz made one change to the side that performed so well at Tanah Burung on matchday 10. Mausnik the Cleaver was recalled to the centre of defense to combat the physical frontline of the Demonic Beings. Ufdush the Nasty had to be content with a place on the pine. The Wizards thus began in their familiar 4-3-1-2 and enjoyed the better balance of play in the first half. Ishklash the Snooty went close in the 12th minute after a nice pass from partner Ashmazh the Tough. Gabdul the Looter nearly scored six minutes later after Bagdreg’s pass mauled the Demonic defense. Despite all the early chances, it was the visitors who opened the scoring in the 26th minute. Midfielder Sam Tornado whirled away from his marker on a corner kick and drove the ball towards goal. Ishhak seemed to have the angle covered, only for Mausnik the Cleaver to intervene, his backside deflecting the ball past his own goalkeeper. The Demons backed into the lead at 1-0. Manager Ufwurz could be heard screaming in agony, the blood vessels on his neck nearing breaking point. (In his post match remarks, poor Ufwurz revealed that the scream was the result of sitting on a shish-ke-bob that assistant Bazzag the Wicked was snacking on.) The lads recovered and retook control of the match. Gabdul leveled the score on 34 minutes. The overlapping Ghaztrak the Gouger sent a nice ball in to the box which Gabdul buried past the visiting keeper Lawrence Knight. At half time it was Warnocks Wizards 1, Demonic Beings 1.

The second half was more even with either side seeming capable of grabbing the match winner. A bizarre incident in stoppage time saw the Demonic Beings steal one at the death. The Red and White Wizards had won a corner and seemingly had the last chance of the game. Bagdreg’s ball found unmarked substitute Mersnik the Cruel open in the box. All the diminutive striker had to do was send the ball into an open net as goalkeeper Knight’s had already committed himself by flapping harmlessly at the ball. Instead, an amazing thing happened on the way to victory. Demon defender Paul Wood floated into the body of Mersnik, possessing him. The newly possessed Wizard turned 180 degrees and ran with the ball towards his own net. Teammate Ishhak, unaware of what had happened to poor Mersnik pleaded with him to pass the ball to a teammate. Instead the mesmerized Mersnik walked the ball into his own net, giving the Demonic Beings a 2-1 victory. The referee then blew the whistle for full time. Manager Ufwurz was furious. Borrowing a bottle of Shelobs Obsession perfume from a fan, Ufwurz strolled up to the referee and sprayed him with the sweet scent. The referee, perplexed but smelling noticeably nicer, quickly ran off down the tunnel to safety. When asked after the match why he did such a thing, Ufwurz noted that the referee “stank.” Full time: Warnocks Wizards 1, Demonic Beings 2.

Warnocks Wizards: Ishhak the Smasher, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Mausnik the Cleaver, Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c), Ghazukh the Burner, Bublok the Destroyer (Krumsnak the Sneaky 67), Bagdreg the Mauler, Gabdul the Looter, Ghazghash the Sleazy (Mersnik the Cruel 84), Ashmazh the Tough (Globdreg the Destroyer 79), Ishklash the Snooty.

Unused substitutes: Krumsnik the Paunch, Ufdush the Nasty.

For their next match in group 8, Warnocks Wizards travel to the cow nation of Hell Bovines. Football Federation Chairman Globmazh the Mean has asked that anyone who has knowledge of a good exorcist to please contact him.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Runaway Moose

07-11-2003, 06:51

Recent victories for Alces Rex against Boa Vista, Hokianga and Offshore, have moved the Runaway Moose national side to the top of their group, and made them rank among the best overall teams and the best offense.
Former team captain and national darling MOZ had the followning to say:
"I knew the team had it in them. I have had the pleasure of watching many of these players develop their skills over the years, especially my sister. The team works hard. They earn everything they get."

imported_Nikea

07-11-2003, 06:54

Queldas Hikari - Rul Isio Nesuntel A Seserim

Pandas On Rampage
Two Convincing Wins
by Markenin Markenel

ORKINAS(NP) - Nikea rebounded from a heartbreaking loss by smashing Zinkoland and Kramerica.

Following the loss to Endray-Island, the Pandas looked very determined to make up for the blown opportunity. Unfortunately for the team from Zinkoland, they happened to be in the warpath.

The match started out very well for the Pandas. The third minute led to a quick goal, when Akitomo Sakai's cross caught a strong gust of wind and blew into the net. After continued Nikean pressure, the 20th minute yielded a tally when Jerin Istertel popped a curler under the Zinkoland keeper. The 33rd minute saw another mark as Kerinen Irisiuene redirected a Turinnen Mortethel corner kick that flew over the heads of the Zinkoland defenders in the box. The Pandas went into the break with a 3-0 lead.

Zinkoland looked slightly better in the second half. Nikea eased off the pressure, and Zinkoland took advantage in the 50th minute when, after 3 minutes of sustained pressure, Lerin Jaskertel brought down a Zinkoland player in the box. He received a yellow, and the Zinkoland kicker caught Renteritel guessing the wrong way. 3-1.

Nikea turned the heat back up, thinking goal differential would be important. They were rewarded in the 71st minute when Keresin Keresiuene slotted a free kick past the wall and into the far corner, making the score 4-1. The Pandas looked content with a 4-1 lead, and their complacency led to a late Zinkoland goal in the 89th minute, not affecting the game's final result, but a lapse which may prove costly should they be tied on points.

[code:1:4b7b1e9675]
Nikea 4 (Sakai 3, Istertel 20, Irisiuene 33, Keresiuene 71)
v.
Zinkoland 2 (<player> 50 [pen], <player> 89)
[/code:1:4b7b1e9675]

Today's match, a showdown with the hapless Kramericans, proved similarly fruitful for the Pandas. Two quick goals allowed them to coast through the match relatively easily.

The first came in the 6th minute when Turinnen Mortethel, making a name for himself as the Nikean playmaker, sent in a cross from the left side that was headed in by Irisiuene. Three minutes later, Oserin Edhel, playing in place of Keresin Keresiuene who was given a well-deserved rest, fed Irisiuene down the right wing, who made a nice cut into the middle and smashed it past the Kramerica keeper. Under 10 minutes in and it was already 2-0.

Nikea once again eased back their pressure, but the combined incompetency of the Kramerican attack and the midfield trap meant Kramerica ventured no further than halfway into the Pandas' side of the field. Nikea put an exclamation point on the victory with Irisiuene's third of the match, when he put in a header in a play very similar to his first of the match. The match ended 3-0.

Nikea is still 3rd in the table, two points ahead of Anateus Rising, 1-0 victors over Zinkoland today, and three ahead of Endray-Island, who surprised Halfassedstates today 2-1. Bedistan defeated Tranquillitis 2-0. Nikea's next match is a crucial showdown with Anateus Rising, which will prove to be very big on who may qualify.

[code:1:4b7b1e9675]
Nikea 3 (Irisiuene 6, 9, 62)
v.
Kramerica 0
[/code:1:4b7b1e9675]

----------------------------------------

Match Schedule

Nikea v. Tranquillitis W 2-0
Nikea v. #54 Endray-Island W 2-1
#87 Zinkoland v. Nikea W 2-1
-Kramerica- v. Nikea D 1-1
#26 Anateus Rising v. Nikea D 2-2
Nikea v. #13 Halfassedstates L 0-2
Nikea v. #3 Bedistan D 2-2
Tranquillitis v. Nikea W 1-0
#54 Endray-Island v. Nikea L 1-2
Nikea v. #87 Zinkoland W 4-2
Nikea v. -Kramerica- W 3-0
Nikea v. #26 Anateus Rising
#13 Halfassedstates v. Nikea
#3 Bedistan v. Nikea

Oglethorpia

07-11-2003, 07:02

BILL CHRISTMAS INVOLVED IN WARNOCK WIZARDS INJURIES?
Bill Christmas comes under fire

By Dwight Hamilton

Bill Christmas, writer for both the Porlamar Times and Maracaibo Post came under fire today from the respective news outlets and agencies after it came into public knowledge that the edited Red and White Wizards roster Christmas possessed was missing certain players of Warnock Wizards.

Strangly enough, when the Oglethorpian Superteam faced Warnock Wizards for a second time, these players nixed on Christmas's roster were strangely absent from the match between the Superteam and the Red and White Wizards.

Christmas was accused of being somehow involved in their absences from the match. "CHRISTMAS HIRED PEOPLE TO TAKE OUT PLAYERS OF WARNOCK WIZARDS!" one Oglethorpian pundit screamed about the strange absence of three key players of the WW starting eleven, instead replaced by their substitutes, whom appeared on the edited roster of Bill Christmas.

For there is no other explanation as to why Christmas somehow came into possession of a Red and White Wizards roster that had nixed two strikers and one goalie in exchange for their substitutes, who in actuality did end up playing the entire match for Warnock Wizards.

"It's weird; Bill might've been dabbling in some dark arts, some crazy Wizard-dry or ESP-junk. How would he have some player-sheet with the substitutes who did appear in that match? Before the match? That's weird stuff," said Christmas's colleague Richard Marshall.

---

OOC:

My OOC apology to WW for determining his goals for him, since I didn't know who his starters were.

For those of you uninformed, I RPed with two of WW's strikers and one of his goalies; both of whom were subs, so he had to come up with some clever reason as to why three of his starting/winning eleven were out; which he did, which rocked.

Go WW :wink:

The Belmore Family

07-11-2003, 07:04

http://www.abelmore.com/TDB.JPG

TBF send Soviet Haargrad Packing
A graceful win by The Belmore Family has removed all Soviet Haargrad's chance's of qualifing. With Alan Belmore injured it was Laurence Wellden who had to do itfirst of all doing a massive stike from jut behind the halfway line, with the keeper off-gaurd it just trickled over the line sending the Home fans crazy. SH pushed forward heavily and were awarded a penalty just before half time. [number 9] stepped up to take it, but blasted it over the bar. Laurence Wellden confirmed a win and the elemination of Soviet Haargrad with a beutiful free-kick that swung into the top left hand corner of the goal.

FINAL SCORE
THE BELMORE FAMILY 2
Laurence Wellden (17, 89)

SOVIET HAARGRAD 0

Halftime 1-0
Attendance 54,772

07-11-2003, 07:17

OOC:

My OOC apology to WW for determining his goals for him, since I didn't know who his starters were.

For those of you uninformed, I RPed with two of WW's strikers and one of his goalies; both of whom were subs, so he had to come up with some clever reason as to why three of his starting/winning eleven were out; which he did, which rocked.

Go WW :wink:

Don't worry about it. It's really not that big of a deal. I tend to change the starting 11 from one match to the next anyway. Given that we were playing away in that last match of ours (Oglethorpia-WW) and your ranking was so much higher than ours, Manager Ufwurz probably would have fielded a defensive or a physical side, so your description worked right into our RP.

Go Oglethorpia :wink:

The Belmore Family

07-11-2003, 07:20

http://www.abelmore.com/TDB.JPG

TBF have the best games says coach
With the table looking as such:

[code:1:9ea9f5ad47]Group 1 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Liverpool England (1) 11 9 1 1 23 8 15 28
One Red Dot (29) 11 7 3 1 18 8 10 24
Kaze Progressa (59) 11 7 2 2 18 10 8 23
The Belmore Family (13) 11 6 3 2 15 8 7 21
Soviet Haaregrad 11 3 1 7 6 15 -9 10 X
Kegarna 11 2 2 7 7 19 -12 8 X
God Squad (42) 11 2 1 8 9 18 -9 7 X
Zeronia (79) 11 1 1 9 6 16 -10 4 X [/code:1:9ea9f5ad47]

"We have certainly got the best run out of the 4 remaining teams that can qualify." said the coach this morning. Let's have a look at the run ins for thse sides.

RUN IN FOR LIVERPOOL ENGLAND (1)
Current Points:28
Kaze Progressa (57) AWAY
One Red Dot (29) HOME
Soveit Haargrad AWAY
Prediction on final points:34

RUN IN FOR THE BELMORE FAMILY (13)
Current Points: 21
Zeronia (79) HOME
God Squad (42) AWAY
Kergana HOME
Prediction on final points: 30

RUN IN FOR ONE RED DOT (29)
Current Points:24
Soviet Haaregrad AWAY
Liverpool England (1) AWAY
Kaze Progressa (59) HOME
Prediction on final points:30

RUN IN FOR KAZE PROGRESSA (1)
Current Points:23
Liverpool England (1) HOME
Soviet Haargrad AWAY
One Red Dot (29) AWAY
Prediction on final points: 29

Ariddia

07-11-2003, 08:20

Ariddia

07-11-2003, 08:37

Anti-Nazis vs. Ariddia

Singh: "Well, thank you for joining us for what should prove to be an interesting match. Anti-Nazis are renowned for their defence, and pulled off a two-all draw in their previous match against Ariddia, while our team are known to press forward as much as they can."

Kim: "So this should be a bit of a battering ram against solid door scenario. . ."

Singh: "Well let’s see who’s flinging the ram."

GK: Don Evermore (2)
DEF: Yves Sylvain (9), Wesley Davidson (1), Jean-François Cocher (21), Julian Xi (16),
MID: Ranjit Khan (7, capt), Andrei Karel (15), Mikael Nyevich (19), Victor Menuisier (14)
ATT: Myn Terrell (3), Yte Nyussun (6)

3rd minute:
Singh: "Ariddia pressing forward hard right from the start, Terrell and Nyussun leading the attack."

Kim: "You might have expected one of those unclassic 4-3-3 formations Ariddia occasionally puts forth, to deal with an opponent like this. Or even 2-4-4."

Singh: "That would be underestimating Anti-Nazis’ offensive abilities. Now, Karel to Nyussun. Nyussun to. . . The defenders knock it out. Put back in the game by Menuisier. Cleared by defence. . . Ariddia’s first real attack of the game is thwarted."

9th minute:
Kim: "Khan to Nyevich. He slips past one defender. . . Past two. . . Shoots! It’s off the bar, but Nyussun has it. . . Loses it. Again, well defended by Anti-Nazis."

12th minute:
Singh: "And Anti-Nazis’ first real offensive move here. Davidson intercepts. Can’t control. . . Loses it. . . Evermore moves out and stops the attack."

28th minute:
Kim: "Well, we’ve seen plenty of opportunities here, but Anti-Nazis just won’t let Ariddia turn any into goals. Menuisier to Khan. . . I may have spoken too soon! Superb playing by Khan, weaving his way through defence! He shoots!! It’s saved by the keeper. . ."

68th minute:
Kim: "Khan to Nyussun. He can’t get through, he’s hemmed in. . . He passes back to Karel. Karel to Terrell. They keep the ball moving. . . Terrell to Menuisier. . . Menuisier to Xi. . . Anti-Nazis can't seem to break the chain, let’s see where it leads. . . Xi to Khan. . . Intercepted! No, he has it back! Khan to Nyussun, swings, shoots. . . goal! At last, the first goal of the match!"

Singh: "And Ariddia have finally broken Anti-Nazis’ defence! One-nil!"

Final score:
Anti-Nazis – Ariddia 0-1
(Nyussun, 68th)

Dennisov

07-11-2003, 10:58

The seventh victory of this year's qualification campaign came just in time. With the new manager taking over from Leetch, the team looks to be able to make it to the WorldCup afterall.

The side which has used a record number of players still lacks cohesion. The Dennisov goalie Cheevers keeps impressing his coach and nation. The defense of the team once again held on to the '0' this time home against 1900s Oglethorpia. As the offense of Dennisov is back to its former inability to score goals, the reliance on the goalie and the defenders ensured that Dennisov is within striking range of qualification.

With just 9 more points in it, Dennisov needs but a few (5 points) from their last 3 games. Even more the nearest rivals, Terranos and The Weegies have to win to make a chance.

Unlike at the beginning of the qualification series, this reporter has now growing confidence that we will once again qualify for the WorldCup. Even though we will probably only play a minor role there.

Halfassedstates

07-11-2003, 12:15

Sowhatsville News

A not so Halfassed slip up!

Requiring a win to almost guarentee qualification to the WC, Halfassed hosted an Endray-Island side that had been defeated narrowly in the first game between the sides.
With Endray still clinging to the coat tails of the qualification race in group 3, they were also desprite for the win and came out with all guns blazing.

It was Halfassed who got to the break 1 up though, thanks to a splendid individual goal from Milton after 42 minutes.
That goal seemed to be taking Halfassed to the finals , when play entered the final minute and the score remained 1-0, however, the resilience that Halfassed have shown throughout this campiagn was finally broken when an Endray corner was swung into thwe box. Both O'Malley and Hunt went for the same ball, and as the keeper caught it, he collided with his defender. Both were left prostrate on the ground and the ball was tapped in. 1-1.
Hunt had to be taken off after suffering concussion, giving Jimmy Wall his debut. Unfortunatly for Jimmy, it was to be a losing one, as in the third minute of injury time, another mix-up in defence saw a pass-back from Bob Francis intercepted by the Endray-Island striker who rounded O'Malley and scored the simpliest, but possibly most important goal of his career!
Final Score Halfassedstates 1 Endray-Island 2

Halfassed still top the group on goal difference from Bedistan, who visit Halfassed next.
Third placed Nikea are 4 points back and visit us on game day 13.
Fourth placed Antetus-Rising are Halfassed's final opponents.

All in all not a nice run-in at all!

OCC: think i've got one of the games the wrong way round - maybe I should be travelling to Bedi :?

Snub Nose 38

07-11-2003, 14:39

Brought to You by the Snub Nose 38 Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids

Group 8 Stats, and OTUI
[code:1:79f8d460c0]
# Group 8 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Oglethorpia (10) 12 7 3 2 28 15 13 24
4 Tanah Burung (39) 12 7 2 3 16 10 6 23
5 Hell Bovines (65) 12 6 3 3 15 16 -1 21
2 Snub Nose 38 (20) 12 5 5 2 18 13 5 20
6 Warnocks Wizards (77) 12 5 3 4 15 15 0 18
3 Demonic Beings (31) 12 5 0 7 15 14 1 15
7 Evisceratomatoes 12 2 2 8 9 19 -10 8
8 Wildthings Realm 12 0 4 8 11 25 -14 4[/code:1:79f8d460c0]
Group 8 Matchday Results
Two sides from Group 8 are now mathematically eliminated: Wildthings Realm, and Evisceratomatoes

Matchday 1
Oglethorpia 3, Hells Bovines 3
Snub Nose 38 5, Warnocks Wizards 2
Demonic Beings 2, Evisceratomatoes 0
Tanah Burung 2, Wildthings Realm 1

Matchday 2
Warnocks Wizards 1, Oglethorpia 0
Evisceratomatoes 2, Snub Nose 38 0
Demonic Beings 2, Wildthings Realm 1
Tanah Burung 2, Hell Bovines 0

Matchday 3
Oglethorpia 3, Evisceratomatoes 0
Snub Nose 38 1, Wildthings Realm 1
Hell Bovines 2, Demonic Beings 1
Warnocks Wizards 1, Tanah Burung 1

Matchday 4
Wildthings Realm 1, Oglethorpia 3
Hell Bovines 0, Snub Nose 38 2
Demonic Beings 0, Warnocks Wizards 1
Evisceratomatoes0, Tanah Burung 1

Matchday 5
Oglethorpia 2, Snub Nose 38 3
Demonic Beings 1, Tanah Burung 2
Warnocks Wizards 0, Hell Bovines 1
Wildthings Realm 1, Evisceratomatoes 2

Matchday 6
Oglethorpia 1, Demonic Beings 0
Tanah Burung 0, Snub Nose 38 1
Hell Bovines 1, Evisceratomatoes 0
Warnocks Wizards 2, Wildthings Realm 2

Matchday 7
Tanah Burung 2, Oglethorpia 4
Snub Nose 38 2, Demonic Beings 1
Wildthings Realm 1, Hell Bovines 2
Evisceratomatoes 0, Warnocks Wizards 1

Matchday 8
Hell Bovines 0, Oglethorpia 3
Warnocks Wizards 1, Snub Nose 38 0
Evisceratomatoes 0, Demonic Beings 2
Wildthings Realm 0, Tanah Burung 2

Matchday 9
Oglethorpia 2, Warnocks Wizards 2
Snub Nose 38 1, Evisceratomatoes 1
Wildthings Realm 0, Demonic Beings 3
Hell Bovines 0, Tanah Burung 0

Matchday 10
Evisceratomatoes 2, Oglethorpia 3
Wildthings Realm 1, Snub Nose 38 1
Demonic Beings 1, Hell Bovines 2
Tanah Burung 0, Warnocks Wizards 2

Matchday 11
Oglethorpia 3, Wildthings Realm 0
Snub Nose 38 1, Hell Bovines 1
Warnocks Wizards 1, Demonic Beings 2
Tanah Burung 2, Evisceratomatoes 0

Matchday 12
Snub Nose 38 1, Oglethorpia 1
Tanah Burung 2, Demonic Beings 0
Hell Bovines 3, Warnocks Wizards 2
Evisceratomatoes 2, Wildthings Realm 2

The Hooligans Remaining Qualifying Matches
(Note - Schedule edited for clarity regarding the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans "nom de guerre" of Snub Nose 20)
Snub Nose 20 (nom de guerre of Snub Nose 38 ) - Tanah Burung
Demonic Beings - Snub Nose 38

Tickets for the Demonic Beings match are still available, and can be acquired through "Snubitron". Or, you can call the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages. Ask for Beverly. The Tanah Burung match is sold out. Both matches will be carried on ASPN

Legal Disclaimer: Wide Area Multi Aura Modifiers (wamam) will be in operation at 38 Special Stadium for all future matches, beginning with the Evisceratomato match. Ask your personal physician if this will be a problem for you. The posting of this notice satisifies the legal responsibilities of the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages, who therefore cannot be held accountable for side effects suffered.

Group 8 Sides With Posted Rosters
1 Oglethorpia
4 Tanah Burung Crocodiles
5 Hells Bovines
6 Warnocks Wizards
2 Snub Nose 38 Hooligans
3 Demonic Beings (see last part of Dark Outcasts roster)

Link to WC9 Rosters (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83283&start=0)

NationStates Jolt Archive

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