NationStates Jolt Archive

Sorry it's a bit late, chaps, the leader seems to have run off with some posh totty!

The New British Imperial Party
Manifesto

ENGLAND EXPECTS THAT EVERY MAN SHALL DO HIS DUTY
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Welcome to the New British Imperial Party manifesto, old boy! It's absolutely spiffing to see you, wotwot! This manifesto is intended to convince you of the benefits to NationStates that would come from the site moving into the light of Britannic civilisation, wot!

Key Points

1) The drinking of tea is mandatory. Any member of NationStates who does not drink at least one cup every 12 hours will get a jolly good talking to! 'Coffee' is banned.

2) The 'United Kingdom' shall be defined in the following way; An English success is 'English'. An English failure is 'Henman'. A Scottish success is 'British.' A Scottish failure is 'Scottish' (this also applies to Wales and those pesky Northern Irelander's, wot!)

3) Instead of warnings, forum bans or deletions, the primary method of enforcing NS rules will be to send in a gunboat.

4) Anyone from a former part of the British Empire is to be referred to as a "damn colonial".

5) Anyone not from a former part of the British Empire or Britain is to be referred to as a "damn foreigner".

6) From this day forth newsreaders are banned from walking around the studio grinning when announcing thousands of deaths.

7) All food dishes must be served with a double portion of chips.

8) The statue of the pregnant woman in Trafalgar Square shall be replaced with one of Terry Wogan.

9) The word "Empire" must be pronounced "Emparh" with reference to the British Empire.

10) It is compulsory to moan about the "bloody weather" at least once per day, or at any time when noticing the bloody weather.

11) An official moratorium is to be put in place upon the phrases "Well done" and "Congratulations". Instead, the phrase "Jolly good show!" must be used.

12) Watching (and waving a Union Flag during) the Last Night of the Proms is compulsorary.

13) The manufacture of tweed jackets, bowler hats and umbrellas is to be subsidised.

14) NationStates shall invest vast sums of money into building a Royal Navy.

15) Celebrating the battles of Agincourt, Trafalgar and Waterloo is compulsorary on pain of removal of tea rations.

16) NationStates is to apply for Commonwealth membership and recognise the Queen as head of state.


Now that that's over, you can all go out and jolly well join up, wot!

God Save the Queen!


Most Honourable Members of Her Majesty's Emparh:

The Rt. Hon. Admiral Lord Sir Professor Philosopy CBE OBE MBE Party President
The Rt. Hon. Lady Lord Sir Vacuumhead CBE OBE MBE Secretary of State for the Home Office and Minister for Ladies; Vice Party President
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Rubiconic Crossings CBE OBE MBE First Lord of the Admiralty and Minister for Tea
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Fartsniffage CBE OBE MBE Secretary of State for the Foreign Office
Damn Colonial Aronnax Governor-General of Singapore
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Call to power Minister for Eggs and Bacon
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Forsakia Minister for the Bloody Weather and Minister for Sheep
Damn Foreigner Krensonia Leader of the Dutch Wing of the NBIP
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Scarlet States CBE OBE MBE Secretary of State for The Wee Lads and Bonnie Lasses North of the Border
Damn Colonial Malkyer Leader of the United States Wing of the NBIP
The Rt. Hon. Field Marshall Lord Sir The Friesland colony CBE OBE MBE Field Marshal
Damn Colonial Hamilay Secretary of State for the Colonies
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir The blessed Chris CBE OBE MBE Viceroy of the East India Trading Company
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Ilaer CBE OBE MBE Lord Chancellor and Minister for Spreading Proper English
Damn Colonial Caleduardia Minister for the Tropics
Damn Foreigner Novus-America Minister for Counter-Terrorism
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Anke Morpork CBE OBE MBE Minister for Imperial Education
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Vodka-stonia CBE OBE MBE Minister for Spirits
Damn Colonial Zouloukistan Governor-General of Canada and Minister for The Eradication of Coffee
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Mega gning CBE OBE MBE Minister for Flag Waving at the Proms
Damn Colonial Lady Little Monkies Minister for Emparh Fluffles
Damn Colonial Gurguvungunit Minister for the Promotion of Emparh History and Deputy Minister for Spreading Proper English
The Most Hon. Lord Sir Praetonia CBE OBE MBE Duke of Westminister
Damn Colonial Revasser Governor-General of Australia
Damn Foreigner Obok Kyorl Minister for Eastern Affairs
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir UK-dom CBE OBE MBE Minister for Sanity
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir. Ieuano CBE OBE MBE Secretary of State for Administrative Affairs
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir. Valtoria CBE OBE MBE Minister for New Posters
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir. Niploma CBE OBE MBE Minister for Private Boarding Schools & Upper-Class Snobbery
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Wenglish CBE OBE MBE Minister for Biscuits
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Armed public CBE OBE MBE Minister for The Furtherment of Enjoyment of all Good People in Her Majesty's Emparh
The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir UNIverseVERSE CBE OBE MBE Minister for Cucumber Sandwiches
The Most Hon. Lord Sir Aust CBE OBE MBE Duke of Yorkshire

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huzzah sign me up!

Huzzah!
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huzzah sign me up!

Huzzah!
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Huzzah!!!

Welcome to the Emparh, old boy!

I say, I need some ministers; a First Lord of the Admiralty and a Minister for Tea. What say you, sah?

Dammit, I jumped the gun and joined another party forgetting about this one.

Dammit, I jumped the gun and joined another party forgetting about this one.

Her Majesty demands that you resign at once and take up your place as her faithful servant!

Huzzah!!!

Welcome to the Emparh, old boy!

I say, I need some ministers; a First Lord of the Admiralty and a Minister for Tea. What say you, sah?

In the fine traditions of the Senior Service I shall be most graciously pleased to avail my duty and attend to both!

To the Emparh and Her Majesty!

Huzzah!

In the fine traditions of the Senior Service I shall be most graciously pleased to avail my duty and attend to both!

To the Emparh and Her Majesty!

Huzzah!

Both, sah? Both?

You are a true gentleman, for the greater glory of England!

One has resigned ones' position in the choose wisely party and one is ready to take ones' position as a member of the BIP.

One feels that one is ready to do ones' part for Queen and Country. Someone has to keep those damn foreigners in check.

One has resigned ones' position in the choose wisely party and one is ready to take ones' position as a member of the BIP.

One feels that one is ready to do ones' part for Queen and Country. Someone has to keep those damn foreigners in check.

You are a true patriot, good sah! I shall place you in charge of the Foreign Office!

Both, sah? Both?

You are a true gentleman, for the greater glory of England!

Tis enough to bring a tear to my eye. Balaklava, Waterloo, Trafalgar, Battle of the Nile, the defeat of the Spanish Armada...we shall rise like a pheonix and bring cultcha and crigget to all!

And tea of course. Lots and lots of tea. Good Yorkshire tea. Aye.

http://www.rutles.org/rpix/tea.jpg

You are a true patriot, good sah! I shall place you in charge of the Foreign Office!

The foreign office? Does this means that one has control of gunboats sah?

And tea of course. Lots and lots of tea. Good Yorkshire tea. Aye.

http://www.rutles.org/rpix/tea.jpg

The drink of Kings!

Anyone fancy a cuppa?

The foreign office? Does this means that one has control of gunboats sah?

Gunboats? Why yes! And, of course, those new fangled flying machines!

The foreign office? Does this means that one has control of gunboats sah?

Gunboats? Why yes! And, of course, those new fangled flying machines!

Ahem

Gentlemen...let us not forget that the F.O. is a fine component of Government, it is the Admiralty who run the logistics of the Emprah!

God Save our Imperial Majesty!

Huzzah!

Gentlemen...let us not forget that the F.O. is a fine component of Government, it is the Admiralty who run the logistics of the Emprah!

I say, how silly of me! Quite right, good sah!

The F.O. can decide where the gunboats should be used. 'tis then up to the Admiralty to do the blowing up part, wot!

I say, how silly of me! Quite right, good sah!

The F.O. can decide where the gunboats should be used. 'tis then up to the Admiralty to do the blowing up part, wot!

Huzzah!

However I believe our fleet should undergo a refit to increase not only our Imperial prestige but also our firepower. We propose a new series of Dreadnoughts.

Britania will Rule the Seas once and for all.

No more upstart Johnny Foreigner's trying it on with a fleet of assorted fishing trawlers and rowboats off Brighton Pier!


http://www.timegun.org/dreadnought.jpg *this is the first HMS Dreadnought - launched in 1906

However I believe our fleet should undergo a refit to increase not only our Imperial prestige but also our firepower. We propose a new series of Dreadnoughts.

Those Damn Foreigners won't know what hit them, good sah! The waves will forever belong to the nation God created them for!

*Irish*


*commences gun-running, bomb stockpiling*

Those Damn Foreigners won't know what hit them, good sah! The waves will forever belong to the nation God created them for!

Indeed Sah! We will bombard them as if they were a matchstick flotilla engaged with a rampant child in a bathtub! Huzzah!

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When Britain first at Heav'n's command
Arose from out the azure main;
This was the charter of the land,
And guardian angels sang this strain;

Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves:
Britons never will be slaves.

Hip Hip Hurray!!

*Irish*


*commences gun-running, bomb stockpiling*

LOLOL!!!! (love the green! LOL)

*ahem*

Sah! You are a blaggart and a smugglahhh! I shall endevah to seh you in the shackels of our Most Imperial Maajghesties justice!

You shall hear from the F.O. forthwith!

Good Day!

*hrmph!*

guess that makes me a damn colonial.......

To the the British Emprah and the best of the commonwealth!

Australia
Sri Lanka
Canada
Kenya
Nigeria
Sudan
Egypt
Singapore
Jordan
Israel
Iraq
India
Paskistan
Bangladash
Myammar
Malaysia
Brunei
Papua New Gunie
New Zealand
Fiji
South Africa
Lethosa
Swaziland
Hong Kong
Wei Hwa Hwa
Belize
Guyana
Uganda
Somalia
Tazania
Zimbabwe
Zambia
Botswana
Nambia
Seychelles
Maldives
Malta
Gilbratar
Cyprus
Siere Leonne....and
The 13th states of Easten America

If you are from the above, you are a Damn Colonial

*Irish*


*commences gun-running, bomb stockpiling*

You sir are a cad and a bounder. Her Magesties Government demands than you cease such activities forthwidth. Any continuation will be treated as an act of war and one will be forced to request that The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Rubiconic Crossings CBE OBE MBE First Lord of the Admiralty and Minister for Tea send his shiney new Dreadnaughts to give you damn colonials a good smacking about.

Yours

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Fartsniffage CBE OBE MBE Foreign Secretary

guess that makes me a damn colonial.......

To the the British Emprah and the best of the commonwealth!

Do you wish to join the party, good sah? There is a place in the NBIP for damn colonials! I shall make you the Governor-General of Singapore.

Ahem

Gentlemen...let us not forget that the F.O. is a fine component of Government, it is the Admiralty who run the logistics of the Emprah!

God Save our Imperial Majesty!

Huzzah!

One is proud to serve in any small way one can and will endevour to ensure that Her Magesty's Royal Navy is not under used. One must take these damn colonials and johnny foreigners in hand.

You sir are a cad and a bounder. Her Magesties Government demands than you cease such activities forthwidth. Any continuation will be treated as an act of war and one will be forced to request that The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Rubiconic Crossings CBE OBE MBE First Lord of the Admiralty and Minister for Tea send his shiney new Dreadnaughts to give you damn colonials a good smacking about.

Yours

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Fartsniffage CBE OBE MBE Foreign Secretary

Just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it.

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A generous offer i cannot refuse, please...accept me into your soceity

One is proud to serve in any small way one can and will endevour to ensure that Her Magesty's Royal Navy is not under used. One must take these damn colonials and johnny foreigners in hand.

Sah! You dictate where the war is and I shall deal with it!

Gawd bless Her Maj!

*sniff*

A generous offer i cannot refuse, please...accept me into your soceity

Welcome aboard Sah!

For Emprah and Her Imperial Majesty!

Huzzah!

To the Emprah and Her Imperial Majesty

And to the Unification for the greatest Emprah on earth!!

Quick! Invade India! For we must reclaim the jewel of out great Emprah

A generous offer i cannot refuse, please...accept me into your soceity

A thousand welcomes to you! Pip pip for the expansion of Her Imperial Majesty's Almighty Tea Empire!

Bloody hell, look at those damn ex-colonials, if i cant be arsed to tell those old farts that being a brit is good as gungoats, i'll be hacky over those lanky tarts

Bloody hell, look at those damn ex-colonials, if i cant be arsed to tell those old farts that being a brit is good as gungoats, i'll be hacky over those lanky tarts

Sah I demand we install a Minister for the Development of Gungoats immediatly. Their use as a tool for the expansion and glorification of Her Majestys' Empire must no longer be ignored!!

Sah I demand we install a Minister for the Development of Gungoats immediatly. Their use as a tool for the expansion and glorification of Her Majestys' Empire must no longer be ignored!!

More gunboats, sah? One can never have too many gunboats! But I fear the First Lord of the Admiralty may feel his authority to bash Johnny Foreigner is being underminded were we to create a seperate office for gunboats alone, sah!

More gunboats, sah? One can never have too many gunboats! But I fear the First Lord of the Admiralty may feel his authority to bash Johnny Foreigner is being underminded were we to create a seperate office for gunboats alone, sah!

One feels the same about the admiralty sah gunboats sholud be his area alone, one was merely remarking on the lack of attention currently being paid to the idea of gungoats as put forth by that damn foreigner the Hon. Governor of Singapore.

One feels the same about the admiralty sah gunboats sholud be his area alone, one was merely remarking on the lack of attention currently being paid to the idea of gungoats as put forth by that damn foreigner the Hon. Governor of Singapore.

Im no damn foreigner, but a damn colonialist!!!

Now where my bloody tea

By Jingo!
I'll have some of that my good sir.
I hereby enlist!

Huzzah!

By Jingo!
I'll have some of that my good sir.
I hereby enlist!

Huzzah!

A member with Hitler in his name?

Why, this is a dilemma, good sahs!

A member with Hitler in his name?

Why, this is a dilemma, good sahs!

The man sounds like a bloody foreigner damn his eyes. One says we give him six of the best then send him on his way.

The man sounds like a bloody foreigner damn his eyes. One says we give him six of the best then send him on his way.

I say, young Evil Moustache Cakes sah, you have been challenged!

Prove your Britishness at once!

A challenge! This should prove to be exciting

A challenge! This should prove to be exciting

But no answer! I say, chaps, he seems to be behaving like a Damn Foreigner to me!

Then off with his head!!!

But no answer! I say, chaps, he seems to be behaving like a Damn Foreigner to me!

Just like all bloody foreigners. All mouth and no trousers, it's just not cricket wot.

Sign me up as a barbaric Welsh savage:)

It is my duty to inform you all that Her Imperial Majesty has scored a great victory against the French in the Caribbean. The glory of the Royal Navy has shown its greatness once more!

Huzzah!

We found that our Tea trade route had been undergoing attacks leading to our brave merchant seamen held prisoner by the evil French raider Monsewer Osbert De Cheval. We scored a resounding success by sinking his own ship and destroying the rest of his ragtag fleet. We also liberated territory for the local inhabitant who have also generously sworn allegiance to Her Majesty.

We also found a substantial Treasurey which has been donated to the Batterea Dogs Home for all most know that if there is one thing we love above tea is Animals!

Huzzah!

Further to this recent victory we have found that the locals also play crigget to a rahther high standard. I would suggest that a Test be arranged between a MCC President Select team and our new outpost of Empire.

Cups of tea all round!

http://www.utsa.edu/today/images/events/wow/2002/tea.jpg

Sign me up as a barbaric Welsh savage:)

Welcome, good sah!

-snipped in the name of Her Majesty-
A great victory indeed! Let us celebrate this great victory with a fresh brew, for the glory of the Emprah!

Bump, wot.

A great victory indeed! Let us celebrate this great victory with a fresh brew, for the glory of the Emprah!

Sah!

Indeed tis a new dawn and one deserving of the finest Earl Grey.

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How goes the recruitment drive wot wot? I see we have a perfidious Irishman and a representative of our Welsh countrymen. I am sure we can deal with the Irish Question at some date, of course only until all diplomatic avenues have been investigated.

How say we co-ordinate recruitment say from the Colonies and perhaps unaligned persons.

Would perhaps a monument to Her Imperial Majesty in the form of an International Tea Exhibition be worthy of consideration? The benefits are there for our Great Nation and Party to reap. We will show the greatest advances in Tea and associated products and services. For all the world to share and achieve prosperity under the Emprah and the Party!

Huzzah!

To The Queen

God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen:
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us:
God save the Queen.

Three Cheers For Her Imperial Majesty!

Hip Hip Horray
Hip Hip Horray

Hip Hip Horray!!!

does chai tea count as a tea?

does chai tea count as a tea?

If I can tax it (and by the blazing saddle thighs of my dear Nanny I will!) it is indeed tea.

Huzzah!

Would perhaps a monument to Her Imperial Majesty in the form of an International Tea Exhibition be worthy of consideration?

A tea monument, wot? Why, that is a most spiffing idea! We could have teas from all over the Emparh... and then we could show them what proper, English tea is, wot!

Commence the preparations!

Huzzah!

I just have to say, as the damnest Yank there can be, that this thread is hilarious.

I just have to say, as the damnest Yank there can be, that this thread is hilarious.

We have been infiltrated by a Damn Foreigner!

Prepare the gunboats!

The New British Imperial Party
Manifesto

ENGLAND EXPECTS THAT EVERY MAN SHALL DO HIS DUTY


Scotland and Wales wonder what England means by that this time. Ireland suspects that it knows what England means by that.

We have been infiltrated by a Damn Foreigner!

Prepare the gunboats!

*locks the door to Fort McHenry, raises the Stars and Stripes, and orders a manning of the cannons*

*locks the door to Fort McHenry, raises the Stars and Stripes, and orders a manning of the cannons*

Cannons? Cannons!

Those cannons were made in Swindon, good sah; we can therefore be assured they do not work!

As if we'd be stupid enough to buy cannons from the Swedes. Thanks to Jefferson's political incompetancy, we've developed our own industry.

As if we'd be stupid enough to buy cannons from the Swedes. Thanks to Jefferson's political incompetancy, we've developed our own industry.

Stand down, chaps. With this American education system, they won't even point the guns in the right direction, wot!

Sahs! I might be called a damned foreigner in your eyes but with my full hearth I support the British Imperial Party! From now forth I shallth drink great amounts of Tea and moan about the bloody weather every following passing day!

I hereby apply for membership within the British Imperial Party! God save the Queen! :D

Sahs! I might be called a damned foreigner in your eyes but with my full hearth I support the British Imperial Party! From now forth I shallth drink great amounts of Tea and moan about the bloody weather every following passing day!

I hereby apply for membership within the British Imperial Party! God save the Queen! :D
A Damn Foreigner, you say? Where, good sah, are you from?

Stand down, chaps. With this American education system, they won't even point the guns in the right direction, wot!

Such is the reason why I was taught at home! Not so easy now, is it?

Such is the reason why I was taught at home! Not so easy now, is it?

hmm...

*Thinks*

*Drinks some tea*

*Thinks more*

I say, look out behind you!

No need for concern, that yank (damn his britches) has already signed his own death warrant. Huzzah for the Royal Navy and extra tea rations all round.

A Damn Foreigner, you say? Where, good sah, are you from?

Im with the chaps on the other side of ther canel. The Netherlands good sah. But I say that our nation is not much compared to the British Empire, Sah! (besides the bloody rainy weather) I ask for acceptance among the emparh!

hmm...

*Thinks*

*Drinks some tea*

*Thinks more*

I say, look out behind you!

Hm, yes. You burned our capital. Don't know how it works in your European wars but here, we take that as an incentive to fight even harder.

And you may want to keep an out for our militias; they fight dirty.

Im with the chaps on the other side of ther canel. The Netherlands good sah. But I say that our nation is not much compared to the British Empire, Sah! (besides the bloody rainy weather) I ask for acceptance among the emparh!

The Netherlands, you say? Why, King Whathisname was from there! I hereby admit you to the NBIP, pip pip!

King William of Orange that would be, sir.

Wot Wot!!!

Where is Carruthers of the F.O. when you need him? If there is no diplomatic solutions found forthwith I shall send the Grand Imperial Fleet wot wot!!!

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The Netherlands, you say? Why, King Whathisname was from there! I hereby admit you to the NBIP, pip pip!

Oi! Why thank you good sah! Let's have a cup 'o Tea to celebrate! I shall start spreading civilized British culture among my fellow dutch as of right now! God save the Queen!

Hm, yes. You burned our capital. Don't know how it works in your European wars but here, we take that as an incentive to fight even harder.

And you may want to keep an out for our militias; they fight dirty.

Sah. You have no Capital to burn. You are still under my....I mean our...I mean Her Imperial Majestys' banner!

Huzzah!

Fancy a cuppa?

Hm, yes. You burned our capital. Don't know how it works in your European wars but here, we take that as an incentive to fight even harder.

And you may want to keep an out for our militias; they fight dirty.

Then it is time to make peace, sah! Swear allegiance to Her Imperial Majesty, and join the NBIP!

I shall bow before no monarch or dictator! I would've stayed part of your empire, but Parliment and your king saw fit to deny me my rights as an Englishman!

*continues fighting*

I shall bow before no monarch or dictator! I would've stayed part of your empire, but Parliment and your king saw fit to deny me my rights as an Englishman!

*continues fighting*

Oi! Good sah! I say stop your fighting. They call me a damned foreigner, But I still honour her Majesty! Put down ye weapons and let's have a jolly cup o' Tea and discuss your problems.

Problems? I'll tell you my problems.

The Bill of Rights guarentees that any Protestant may owns arms for his defense, as defined by law. Well, Parliment and the king made it law that I cannot own arms, just because I live on the other side of an ocean!

It also says that I may elect representatives to Parliment, yet that right was refused to me and my brethern. Then, they had the nerve to tax me!

The Magna Carta states that I am to be tried by a jury of my peers, yet men who broke the law in America were routinely shipped to Britan for trail!

Therefor, I declare myself free and independent of United Kingdom!

*fights on*

-Snipped in the name of Her Majesty

My word, what are you talking about, sah?! That is treatment a damnsight better than the working classes of Britain get, wot!

Now, stop your silly little war before the tea gets cold!

Huzzah!

Sah! You are a blaggart and a smugglahhh! I shall endevah to seh you in the shackels of our Most Imperial Maajghesties justice!

You shall hear from the F.O. forthwith!

*levels M15 HQ*

Och aye. As a Scotsman loyal to her Majesty, I ask fer membership of her British Imperial Party. If ye require good sirs, I shall be oot o' the glaichit party I swore mah allegiance teh.

Och aye. As a Scotsman loyal to her Majesty, I ask fer membership of her British Imperial Party. If ye require good sirs, I shall be oot o' the glaichit party I swore mah allegiance teh.

Good sah, welcome to the Emparh!

Can I offer you the Scottish Office, wot?

I say, this NBIP looks like a jolly good venture, eh chaps? I may be a damned colonial, but I do enjoy myself a good cup of tea. And gunboats are always smashing, now aren't they, lads?

Might I sign up?

Good sah, welcome to the Emparh!

Can I offer you the Scottish Office, wot?

Och sir. Ye are very kind. I would gladly take up yon office, sir.

I say, this NBIP looks like a jolly good venture, eh chaps? I may be a damned colonial, but I do enjoy myself a good cup of tea. And gunboats are always smashing, now aren't they, lads?

Might I sign up?

More members are always welcome, wot? For the greater glory of Her Majesty!

Huzzah!

Huzzah!

EDIT: Nevermind then, I saw my official title. I feel absolutely imperial, wot! Now I'm off to check the forecast, that I might more efficiently complain about the bloody weather.

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sit Scarlet States CBE OBE MBE Secretary of State for The Wee Lads and Bonnie Lasses North of the Border


Thank ye kind sir, tho' mah title seems teh be a wee bit aff.

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sit Scarlet States CBE OBE MBE Secretary of State for The Wee Lads and Bonnie Lasses North of the Border


Thank ye kind sir, tho' mah title seems teh be a wee bit aff.

*Mutters*

Bloody upstarts, think they know it all...

*Louder*

I say, I am sorry sah! Edited, with double post haste, wot!

I would be delighted if you gentlemen were to give me permission to join this wonderful party. I give my word that I will do my duty, for Queen and country!

*Puts the kettle on* Tea anyone?

*Mutters*

Bloody upstarts, think they know it all...

*Louder*

I say, I am sorry sah! Edited, with double post haste, wot!

Thank ye good and kind sir. Yer kindness is greatly appreciated. Would he like teh meet some bonny lassies from oor land?

I would be delighted if you gentlemen were to give me permission to join this wonderful party. I give my word that I will do my duty, for Queen and country!

*Puts the kettle on* Tea anyone?

More members! Come in, sah, come in!

I say, what offices do we have left? Perhaps you would like Home Affairs, wot?

*levels M15 HQ*

Sah! That would be an unfinished Motorway you have demolished! Not the Headquarters of our Imperial Security Services!

Huzzah!!!

So, you all like tea, do you?

*dumps it into the New York Harbor*

(In all seriousness, I'm loving this thread, and if I couldn't be an American, I'd snap up British in a heartbeat.)

So, you all like tea, do you?

*dumps it into the New York Harbor*

(In all seriousness, I'm loving this thread, and if I couldn't be an American, I'd snap up British in a heartbeat.)

Ach! Tis neh a matter o' consequence tah the Scots! We dinna drink the tea as much as yon south o' the border.

More members! Come in, sah, come in!

I say, what offices do we have left? Perhaps you would like Home Affairs, wot?

I would be honoured to accept this position.

*Curtsies* I give my thanks.



*Cough* I'm no sir...

I would be honoured to accept this position.

*Curtsies* I give my thanks.



*Cough* I'm no sir...

Och! A wamen! Tis no a wamenly thing tae be a minister!

I say, I must be off to my bed!

If I can work out how to turn on this inferno contraption... I think the man in the shop called it an "Alexander Bell Excellent Voice Transmitting Machine and Automatic answership, Whizz Buzz!"

So leave your messages to join on the above device, and I will add you in the morning!

In the name of Her Majesty...pip pip, Huzzah!

Och! A wamen! Tis no a wamenly thing tae be a minister!

Good sir, I may be a woman but I make an excellent cuppa. At least allow me to be the tea lady. Please?

Good sir, I may be a woman but I make an excellent cuppa. At least allow me to be the tea lady. Please?

The tea lady? Lady Sah, I will hear no such thing! We in the Emparh would never discriminate on the basis of gender, wot?

Just hide your boobs and you'll be fine.

Might I be allowed to sign my name on the muster of this right royal British party, my good fellows, wot! Truly spiffiing, rule Britannia, and all that! Soon, we will annex the yankee swine and their damned colonial ilk, by God, and then have an extra-large portion of tea with chips! Double chips! Made from British potatoes, thanks very much! Is the post of Field Marshall open to a Scotsman such as myself? Junior the army may be, but some good British boots on the good British ground will be necessary to gave a right British trouncing to Johny Foreigner and his knavish tricks, wotwot!

Might I be allowed to sign my name on the muster of this right royal British party, my good fellows, wot! Truly spiffiing, rule Britannia, and all that! Soon, we will annex the yankee swine and their damned colonial ilk, by God, and then have an extra-large portion of tea with chips! Double chips! Made from British potatoes, thanks very much! Is the post of Field Marshall open to a Scotsman such as myself? Junior the army may be, but some good British boots on the good British ground will be necessary to gave a right British trouncing to Johny Foreigner and his knavish tricks, wotwot!
Welcome to the Emparh, old boy; tis truly spiffing to have you!

Former member of the jolly old previous NBIP. Mind if I renew my membership to this spiffing party?

Former member of the jolly old previous NBIP. Mind if I renew my membership to this spiffing party?
Huzzah, for an veteran of the last glorious campaign!

Welcome back, Sir Hamilay; perhaps you would be interested in the post of Colonial Secretary?

Welcome to the Emparh, old boy; tis truly spiffing to have you!

Thank you, thank you, me old chap! As represntative of her Britannic Majesty's Empahr in Nationstates, I feel its only appropriate that you be made Colonel-in-Chief of the First Royal Nationstates Regiment of Foot! I say, bloody awful weather we're having right now, wot?

Huzzah, for an veteran of the last glorious campaign!

Welcome back, Sir Hamilay; perhaps you would be interested in the post of Colonial Secretary?
Top hole, sah! I shall be damn pleased to accept this position.

Thank you, thank you, me old chap! As represntative of her Britannic Majesty's Empahr in Nationstates, I feel its only appropriate that you be made Colonel-in-Chief of the First Royal Nationstates Regiment of Foot! I say, bloody awful weather we're having right now, wot?

Tis an honour you suggest that, good sah, but I am only the Acting Leader! I hold out hopes that the hero of old, The Most High and Honourable Aust, will return yet, wot!

Although I have no idea what we'd do now this thread has got so big if he actually did... :D

The weather is truly awful, old boy, just awful! Say, were you putting the kettle on?

*updates the jolly ol' sig*

Och! Will some glaichit man put the kettle on? I'm haverin' fer a cuppa o' yon English tea.

Och! Will some glaichit man put the kettle on? I'm haverin' fer a cuppa o' yon English tea.

A cup of tea, old chap? Why, that sounds truly marvellous! I shall have my servant put the kettle on at once.

We've been having a little mole trouble; I would be eternally grateful if my ministers could come up with a strategy of dealing with the pests, wot!

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11691695#post11691695

Read from there, old chaps, and put your thinking caps on!

Might I be allowed to sign my name on the muster of this right royal British party, my good fellows, wot! Truly spiffiing, rule Britannia, and all that! Soon, we will annex the yankee swine and their damned colonial ilk, by God, and then have an extra-large portion of tea with chips! Double chips! Made from British potatoes, thanks very much! Is the post of Field Marshall open to a Scotsman such as myself? Junior the army may be, but some good British boots on the good British ground will be necessary to gave a right British trouncing to Johny Foreigner and his knavish tricks, wotwot!

Sah! To take ground one needs cannon fod...I mean Stout and Hardy British Red coats! With the power of the Imperial Royal Navy and the British Army I would not like to be Johnny Foriegners shoes let me tell you!

Huzzah!!!

The weather is truly awful, old boy, just awful! Say, were you putting the kettle on?

Oi! Sah, you mean someone's putting on a kettle of fine English Tea? And indeed good Sah, it's bloody weather, as always. I damn it all. Now, where's that Tea, sah?

Oi! Sah, you mean someone's putting on a kettle of fine English Tea? And indeed good Sah, it's bloody weather, as always. I damn it all. Now, where's that Tea, sah?

Sah! A cuppa of Britains finest!

http://www.worldofstock.com/thumbs/PFO1194.jpg

Sah! A cuppa of Britains finest!

http://www.worldofstock.com/thumbs/PFO1194.jpg

*Slurps tea loudly*
Och aye! That hits the spot so it does sonny jim lad!

*Slurps tea loudly*
Och aye! That hits the spot so it does sonny jim lad!

The Scots :rolleyes: Uncouth to the nth degree! Howevah they be also salt of the earth jim lads!!! Salt of the earth! Mighty fine soldiers!

Sah!

Let us drink to the health of Her Imperial Majesty!

Huzzah!!!

The Scots :rolleyes: Uncouth to the nth degree! Howevah they be also salt of the earth jim lads!!! Salt of the earth! Mighty fine soldiers!

Sah!

Let us drink to the health of Her Imperial Majesty!

Huzzah!!!

Oh aye! The health o' oor great Majesty! Oor great Scottish monarch!

Oh aye! The health o' oor great Majesty! Oor great Scottish monarch!

Emprah!!!! Sah! Emprah!!!

/salutes and sniffles

Oh aye! The health o' oor great Majesty! Oor great Scottish monarch!

Scottish monarch, Sah? Why for heavens sake, He meant the queen of England and the British Emparh! Bloody scots.

Hullo!

Founding member here, what what!

I wholeheartedly concur regarding the kilt sporting, bearded loons!:D

Scottish monarch, Sah? Why for heavens sake, He meant the queen of England and the British Emparh! Bloody scots.

Ah but ye see my english sassanach friend... When the great Queen Elizabeth I died, they installed King James VI o' Scotland as James I King o' England!

So technically my dear english friend, the current Queen is descended from Scottish blood!

James VI of Scotland/James I of England and Ireland (Charles James Stuart) (June 19, 1566 – March 27, 1625) was King of England, King of Scots, and King of Ireland and was the first to style himself King of Great Britain. He ruled in Scotland as James VI from 24 July 1567. Then from the 'Union of the Crowns', in England and Ireland as James I, from 24 March 1603 until his death.

The Scots :rolleyes: Uncouth to the nth degree! Howevah they be also salt of the earth jim lads!!! Salt of the earth! Mighty fine soldiers!

Sah!

Let us drink to the health of Her Imperial Majesty!

Huzzah!!!

On that subject, old chap, perhaps The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Scarlet States CBE OBE MBE would care to be Colonel-in-Chief of the First Nationstates Highlanders?

And indeed, let us raise our cuppas to Her Imerial Britannic Majesty of all the Empahr! Huzzah!!!!

So technically my dear english friend, the current Queen is descended from Scottish blood!


Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is Scottish now? :eek:

hmm... Philosophy old chap! I believe we joined simultaneously. I rather hope I may be the rt. Hon. Lord TBC, viceroy of the East India trading company.

The Scots :rolleyes: Uncouth to the nth degree! Howevah they be also salt of the earth jim lads!!! Salt of the earth! Mighty fine soldiers!

Sah!

Let us drink to the health of Her Imperial Majesty!

Huzzah!!!

On that subject, old chap, perhaps The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Scarlet States CBE OBE MBE would to be Colonel-in-Chief of the First Nationstates Highlanders?

On that subject, old chap, perhaps The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Scarlet States CBE OBE MBE would care to be Colonel-in-Chief of the First Nationstates Highlanders?

And indeed, let us raise our cuppas to Her Imerial Britannic Majesty of all the Empahr! Huzzah!!!!


Indeed Sah! To Her Imperial Brittanic Majesty!

I have the fullest regard for the Honorable Gentleman to take charge of the Highlanders. The great traditions of the Britsh Army are upheld!

For Emparh!!!!!

HUZZAH!!!

Indeed Sah! To Her Imperial Brittanic Majesty!

I have the fullest regard for the Honorable Gentleman to take charge of the Highlanders. The great traditions of the Britsh Army are upheld!

For Emparh!!!!!

HUZZAH!!!

Jolly good show, sah! Is one's signature showing, by any chance?

On that subject, old chap, perhaps The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Scarlet States CBE OBE MBE would care to be Colonel-in-Chief of the First Nationstates Highlanders?

And indeed, let us raise our cuppas to Her Imerial Britannic Majesty of all the Empahr! Huzzah!!!!

T'would be a great honour sir. I thank ye fer nominating me fer such a post.

Top hole, sah! I shall be damn pleased to accept this position.

Excellent! This "colonial" now knows whose mansion to raid!

T'would be a great honour sir. I thank ye fer nominating me fer such a post.

Welcome to the party old chap! Bloody well done.:D

For your inspection, sahs, the
Army of the British Empahr

The Army is, of course, that branch of the Imperial Armed Forces responsible for frustrating the knavish tricks of Johnny Damn Foreigner/Colonial on land, sah! Under the direction of Her Royal Imperial Britannic Majesty of all the Empahr’s acting representative Governor-General of Nationstates and leader of the NBIP, the Right Honourable Lord Sir Philosophy CBE MBE OBE, we enforce the rule of British law and ensure natives and colonials are introduced to the marvels of tea and crigget, which we also defend from the insidious machinations of MOBRA, wotwot! We are most ably assisted in this task by the Right Honourable Lord Sir Rubiconic-Crossings CBE MBE OBE, who provides us with naval support and transport but more importantly, far more importantly, ensures a constant and high-quality supply of the one resource on which all the British Army, Navy, and Empahr is dependant: TEA!!!!!

Regiments
Regiments! Regiments! Get ‘em while they’re hot as a British cuppa! The Army requires regiments, regiments require a name, uniform, motto, and marching song, and these require a Colonel-in-Chief to pick them! As of now, all members of the party are obliged to raise a regiment for the army!

The Royal Nationstates Lifeguards (CinC Aust, acting CinC Philosophy, uniform includes this (http://www.warelics.com/images/bearskin.jpg), other details pending selection)

The Queen's own Nationstates Regiment of Foot (CinC Friesland Colony, uniform thus (http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/s/su/suez67/482836_colonial_soldier.jpg), marching song “We’ll trounce you, Johnny Foreigner!, motto “Nos mos Trouncicum vos, Julius Forenius”

The Nationstates Highlanders (CinC Scarlet States, uniform thus (http://www.aboutscotland.com/argylls/ashph/93uni1801.jpeg), marching song Blue Bonnets over the Border (http://www.rampantscotland.com/songs/blsongs_border.htm), motto Cuidich 'n Righ (Translation: Aid the King))

The American Nationstatesmen (CinC Malkyer, other details pending selection)

hmm... Philosophy old chap! I believe we joined simultaneously. I rather hope I may be the rt. Hon. Lord TBC, viceroy of the East India trading company.

Welcome back to the party, good Sah! I shall speak to Her Majesty at once about the appropriate titles, wot!

Sah! That would be an unfinished Motorway you have demolished! Not the Headquarters of our Imperial Security Services!

Huzzah!!!
*sigh*

*storms Buckingham Palace, executing every Royal*

*sigh*

*storms Buckingham Palace, executing every Royal*
As if you would get near Buckingham Palace, sah! It has iron railings around it, wot, and the guards have to kill a bear with their own hands to get their hats!

*sigh*

*storms Buckingham Palace, executing every Royal*

Damme those impertinant illegal immigrants! What a bother! Still our bear killing soldiers will make short shrift of your attempts, Sah!

Cream teas all round!!

http://www.broadwayhouse.com/photos/creamtea.jpg

HUZZAH!!!!

Damme those impertinant illegal immigrants! What a bother! Still our bear killing soldiers will make short shrift of your attempts, Sah!

Cream teas all round!!

http://www.broadwayhouse.com/photos/creamtea.jpg

HUZZAH!!!!

Make it a double for me, sah! Huzzah!!!

I say, are you up for a blockade? We can stop those insidious semi-Damn foreigner Irish terrorists before they even start!

Och. As Colonel-in-chief o' the NationStates Highlanders, I appoint the wearing of this uniform (http://www.aboutscotland.com/argylls/ashph/93uni1801.jpeg) by my troops.


I also appoint oor marching song as "Blue Bonnets Over the Border". (http://www.rampantscotland.com/songs/blsongs_border.htm)

Oor motto will be: Cuidich 'n Righ (Translation: Aid the King)

Make it a double for me, sah! Huzzah!!!

I say, are you up for a blockade? We can stop those insidious semi-Damn foreigner Irish terrorists before they even start!

Och! An excellent idea by yon sassenach!

Och. As Colonel-in-chief o' the NationStates Highlanders, I appoint the wearing of this uniform (http://www.aboutscotland.com/argylls/ashph/93uni1801.jpeg) by my troops.


I also appoint oor marching song as "Blue Bonnets Over the Border". (http://www.rampantscotland.com/songs/blsongs_border.htm)

Oor motto will be: Cuidich 'n Righ (Translation: Aid the King)

Jolly good show! The uniforms are being issued as I speak! Extra cream tea for all!

Huzzah!
\

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v427/vonbek/rourke.gif
Off topic, but... how did you make that smilie? I saw one like that of Iwo Jima, and i was wondering how you change the flag on that

Off topic, but... how did you make that smilie? I saw one like that of Iwo Jima, and i was wondering how you change the flag on that

Young lad, you are a disgrace! You don't even seem to be aware of what grammar is, but worst of all you don't show proper respect to your elders and betters. Address the gentleman Rubiconic Crossings as Sah!

*Sups tea*

Young lad, you are a disgrace! You don't even seem to be aware of what grammar is, but worst of all you don't show proper respect to your elders and betters. Address the gentleman Rubiconic Crossings as Sah!

*Sups tea*

Tea? Did someone say tea?

Why thank you, old chap! I'll have mine with milk, no sugar.

Young lad, you are a disgrace! You don't even seem to be aware of what grammar is, but worst of all you don't show proper respect to your elders and betters. Address the gentleman Rubiconic Crossings as Sah!

*Sups tea*

That should really be 'You don't seem to be aware of the concept of grammar, old boy'.
Thus, I declare you guilty of contravening your own rules.
Anyway, absolutely spiffing to meet you all and see that finally there is a party which reflects my own wishes! To the Emparh and the Commonwealth, I propose a toast (of good old British tea, of course).
May they stand for a thousand years!

Now, my good chaps/chapettes, down to business. As a member of the Home Country, England, Britain, I would like to apply and serve in any capacity that you feel I would best serve you, though of course you need not accept.

Here's to your health, old boy! *sups tea*

The Old-Fashioned Grammar School Student of Caistor, England.

Daniel Anthony Rhodes-Mumby

Glory to the Emparh, and let us bring enlightenment to the Damned Colonials, especially those rebels, those whatd'youcall-em's, Americans!
Damned Colonials... *mutters into non-existent British moustache*

-Snipped for Her Majesty-

I say, old boy, a thousand welcomes to you! It is a great honour that you would choose to end your period of lurking on these forums to join our party, wot! For this, I am asking that Her Imperial Majesty knights you as soon as possible, pip pip!

Offices...offices...you clearly have great attention to detail, so perhaps a judicial appointment? Would you care to accept the post of Lord Chancellor, good sah?

Tea? Did someone say tea?

Why thank you, old chap! I'll have mine with milk, no sugar.

Jolly well, a nice steaming hot cuppa for you Sah! Just the way your lordship likes it.

I say dear fellow, these blasted colonials and foreigners are an uncouth lot. Really, I just witnessed some lout neglecting to address an English lord with the proper respect. That is shocking behaviour, and to think these rotten colonials and foreigners demand to be treated as equals by us noble Brits. Really!

Jolly well, a nice steaming hot cuppa for you Sah! Just the way your lordship likes it.
Delightful, old boy, just delightful.

I say dear fellow, these blasted colonials and foreigners are an uncouth lot. Really, I just witnessed some lout neglecting to address an English lord with the proper respect. That is shocking behaviour, and to think these rotten colonials and foreigners demand to be treated as equals by us noble Brits. Really!
Damn Foreigners! They always need reminding that God is an Englishman, and he created this world for us to rule! Why, my vicar was telling me just yesterday morning that God himself is gunboat shaped, wot!

I like this party.. :(

I like this party.. :(
Vote NBIP!
Just say the words, and a cuppa can come your way.

Delightful, old boy, just delightful.


Damn Foreigners! They always need reminding that God is an Englishman, and he created this world for us to rule! Why, my vicar was telling me just yesterday morning that God himself is gunboat shaped, wot!

Our nation truly is blessed by God. I myself will spread the word of God and his gunboat shaped form, and any who disagree will be shipped off to the colonies. I'll get onto that just after I have a nice cup of tea.

God bless the Queen and this wonderful nation!

Vote NBIP!
Just say the words, and a cuppa can come your way.

I can't.. :(

I can't.. :(
Vote NBIP!
You can have a nice title too

Vote NBIP!
You can have a nice title too

I miss Cabbage Patch Girl.. :( :( :(

I miss Cabbage Patch Girl.. :( :( :(
Vote NBIP!
You can be Secretary of State for Cabbage Patch Girl's...

Vote NBIP!
You can be Secretary of State for Cabbage Patch Girl's...

I.. I.. oh crap.

*covers ears*

Lalalala

Vote NBIP!
You can be Secretary of State for Cabbage Patch Girl's...

That would sit very nicely in Sir Ruffys sig. ;)

That would sit very nicely in Sir Ruffys sig. ;)

You two are evil!

Don't tempt me to leave my own party!

Ye know what a true Brit should dae? An 80 day trip roond the hail world. We havena done summat say reckless in yonks.

You two are evil!

Don't tempt me to leave my own party!

Go oan laddie. Ye know ye want tae!

Ye know what a true Brit should dae? An 80 day trip roond the hail world. We havena done summat say reckless in yonks.
Splendid idea, old boy! I left my favourite silverware down in New Zealand; these noble voyagers can pick it up on their way past!

Huzzah for the Emparh!

Ah but ye see my english sassanach friend... When the great Queen Elizabeth I died, they installed King James VI o' Scotland as James I King o' England!

So technically my dear english friend, the current Queen is descended from Scottish blood!

Not so sah, for James I/VI was descended from Henry VII who was Welsh!

I'd claim the title of Prince of Wales, excepting my being Welsh makes me inelgible, so like a true welshman, may I request to be minister of sheep?

You two are evil!

Don't tempt me to leave my own party!

We would be delighted to have a bright young lad such as yourself in our party. It is certain that you will have a jolly good time here, enjoying the benifits of serving the Emparh! Cup of tea, dear sir?

Not so sah, for James I/VI was descended from Henry VII who was Welsh!

I'd claim the title of Prince of Wales, excepting my being Welsh makes me inelgible, so like a true welshman, may I request to be minister of sheep?

I shall make the changes at once!

Oor motto will be: Cuidich 'n Righ (Translation: Aid the King)
Come Scottish brothers, throw off this yoke of English imperialism! Your country has every right to independence that we do.

Come Scottish brothers, throw off this yoke of English imperialism! Your country has every right to independence that we do.

Not whilst I am minister o' Scottish affairs laddie, and my allegiance is tae the true queen o' Britain.


Believe me I'd love tae but I love this cushy job even mair!

Young lad, you are a disgrace! You don't even seem to be aware of what grammar is, but worst of all you don't show proper respect to your elders and betters. Address the gentleman Rubiconic Crossings as Sah!

*Sups tea*

*chugs an entire bottle of vodka, slouching, then flings the bottle at Vaccum's head*
Take that, tea drinker!
((OOC- Please tell me how to make a flag-waving smilie))

*chugs an entire bottle of vodka, slouching, then flings the bottle at Vaccum's head*
Take that, tea drinker!
((OOC- Please tell me how to make a flag-waving smilie))


*Catches vodka bottle in mid-air*
Sacrilege! This vodka is Russian so it is!

Despite being American, I do love tea. (Nothing like a good Earl Grey.) So it pains me to have to do this...

*commences shoving tea crates into harbor while singing*

"Proud Albion bow'd to Caesar,
And numerous lords before,
To Picts, to Danes, to Normans,
And many masters more;
But we can boast Americans
Have never fall'n a prey,
Huzza, huzza, huzza, huzza
For Free America."

The O.P. is excellent! It sums up the very soul of the English in a hilarious way.

I'm what you would call a damn colonial since my great grandfather was English.

You've won me over! Consider me the first member in your fifth column in the tropics! We'll recover the colonies, you'll see! By good old Winnie the Empaaarh is not over! It's only prepping up for her second chapter!

BTW, am I late for tea? I'll bring the biscuits!

I be a grand oulde mix of Scottish and Russian, my good sah!
I can play the bagpipes, drink vodka and tea mixed together, kick ass without being snobby, and am a master of the art of Russian Revahsal, wotwot!
In Soviet Russia, revolution colonizes YOU!!
((please tell me how to make flag waving smilies!))

*snip*

A fellow American! Huzza!

*joins the tea party*

Im American too!
Im Scottish and Russian by blood, American by birth!
*waves American Flag*

It has recently come to my attention that Parliment has revoked our independence and our president did nothing about it.

Therefor, good sahs, I desire entry into the party, and if Her Majesty requests a tests of my loyalty, I shall execute it post-haste!

The O.P. is excellent! It sums up the very soul of the English in a hilarious way.

I'm what you would call a damn colonial since my great grandfather was English.

You've won me over! Consider me the first member in your fifth column in the tropics! We'll recover the colonies, you'll see! By good old Winnie the Empaaarh is not over! It's only prepping up for her second chapter!

BTW, am I late for tea? I'll bring the biscuits!

I say, sah, do you have any of those amusingly shaped ones with the white icing? I'm partial to a couple in my tea. And doesn't anyone wanted to raise a regiment? Ah well, Perhaps the Right Honorable Lord Sir Subiconic Crossings CBE OBE MBE will let you commision a dreadnought instead.

Despite being American, I do love tea. (Nothing like a good Earl Grey.) So it pains me to have to do this...

*commences shoving tea crates into harbor while singing*

"Proud Albion bow'd to Caesar,
And numerous lords before,
To Picts, to Danes, to Normans,
And many masters more;
But we can boast Americans
Have never fall'n a prey,
Huzza, huzza, huzza, huzza
For Free America."

Sah! Damn your eyes one says.

There will be consequences for this foul betrayal and if this act results in a tea shortage of any kind then one will be forced to request that The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Rubiconic Crossings CBE OBE MBE First Lord of the Admiralty and Minister for Tea use his ships to give you damn colonials a bloody good thrashing.

*walks off muttering* Damn colonials, the sheer cheek of it

It has recently come to my attention that Parliment has revoked our independence and our president did nothing about it.

Therefor, good sahs, I desire entry into the party, and if Her Majesty requests a tests of my loyalty, I shall execute it post-haste!

Welcome sah. For further information regarding the revocation of Americas' independence I refer you to this document.

http://www.utterpants.co.uk/news/politics/revocation.html

One suggests you pay particular attention to this part:

As a sign of contrition for your ancestors' insubordination and rebellion, five grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself. You will no longer be permitted to drink 'iced tea'. No one else does.

*Grumble’s about sassanachs and prepares to wince at footbal results*

As one of the geatest ambassadors for our wee country once stated:

‘Some people hate the English, I don’t. They’re just wankers.’

:fluffle:

I say, chaps, it's Hamilay's jolly old

1000th Post

:D

*Grumble’s about sassanachs and prepares to wince at footbal results*

As one of the geatest ambassadors for our wee country once stated:

‘Some people hate the English, I don’t. They’re just wankers.’

:fluffle:

Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland! :D

I say, chaps, it's Hamilay's jolly old

1000th Post

:D

I say, congratulations old chap. This calls for a spot of tea all round wot.

http://www.teanavigator.com/media/affiliate_images/stonewall_tea1583_large.jpg

Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland! :D
We like to think we tried, especially with the batter.

Heart disease capital of Europe! Wahaaaay!

The O.P. is excellent! It sums up the very soul of the English in a hilarious way.

I'm what you would call a damn colonial since my great grandfather was English.

You've won me over! Consider me the first member in your fifth column in the tropics! We'll recover the colonies, you'll see! By good old Winnie the Empaaarh is not over! It's only prepping up for her second chapter!

BTW, am I late for tea? I'll bring the biscuits!

It has recently come to my attention that Parliment has revoked our independence and our president did nothing about it.

Therefor, good sahs, I desire entry into the party, and if Her Majesty requests a tests of my loyalty, I shall execute it post-haste!

Welcome, welcome, welcome, good sahs! It is truly an honour and a pleasure to see yet more members join the fight for Her Majesty's honour and greater glory! A Minister for the Tropics and a new Minister for Counter-Terrorism (You should be good at that now, wot!) at the same time...jolly good show, old boys, jolly good show!

And doesn't anyone wanted to raise a regiment? Ah well, Perhaps the Right Honorable Lord Sir Subiconic Crossings CBE OBE MBE will let you commision a dreadnought instead.

I'm not sure on the precise numbers, my good sah, but I'm sure enough loyalists are yet left in the States to raise a couple of regiments for the Queen and Emparh. Huzzah!

I say, chaps, it's Hamilay's jolly old

1000th Post

:D
I say, ROFL!
DEATH TO ALL SURFACERS!
VOTE MOBRA!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v371/thekillergerbil/BloodyArrowtail.jpg
Killer Gerbil, i choose you!

I say, ROFL!
DEATH TO ALL SURFACERS!
VOTE MOBRA!

I say chaps, an intruder!

Man the gunboats, and release the bulldogs, post haste!

Arrgh Lobsters!
Man the Guns, time to plundah some coin!

Arrgh Lobsters!
Man the Guns, time to plundah some coin!

I say sahs, it appears we are being invaded by pirates. Time to break out the Dreadnaughts one thinks, Her Majestys rule over the high seas must never be challenged.

I'm not sure on the precise numbers, my good sah, but I'm sure enough loyalists are yet left in the States to raise a couple of regiments for the Queen and Emparh. Huzzah!

Jolly good show! I shall add it to the muster!! And if those pirates think they can defeat the might of the RN then they've definately had too much rum!!!

Minister of Counter-Terrorism? I am honoured, good sahs, to have been appointed to this position! Why, it brings tears to my eyes to know that I'll be serving Her Majesty and the Emparh in such a capacity.

I shall now proceed to raise a loyal regiment and pacify the former Confederate States of America. Bloody inbreeders have no culture at all! And to our fine Imperial Navy, I say give those damn pirates a good seeing to with our gunships! The sooner they have been driven from our waters, the sooner our glorious emparh will ascend to greater heights!

What ho! Glad to see some true patriots of the glorious Emparh! Let us all join together and ensure that Her Majesty's garter (oops, bad slip of the tongue there, I mean Charter, of course) will reign over the Earth. Perhaps this time we shall not stop at a quarter of the Earth but shall continue to the very ends of it! Though of course, being respectful citizens of the British Emparh in one way or another (damned Colonials) we shall respect the nation's right to neutrality. As long as they pay us an exorbitant sum of money (in Pounds Sterling, of course, what what!).
Should I be of any use to you whatsoever I would be happy to oblige! The Emparh needs only the finest and I feel I must volunteer, despite being a long way away from the finest! If nothing else I would like to be Minister of Hating the Damned Colonials, All the While Begging Them to Allow the Tea Minister to Reign Supreme.
I propose a toast of tea! To the Emparh and Commonwealth! May they last a thousand years!

Ilaer

Oh dear! I am sorry! I did not realise that the mighty Philosophy had replied to me! I shall make haste to apologise for this travesty and impertinence that is my second application at once! I blame the bloody weather and the damned colonials!
I should love to accept the post of Lord Chancellor! Jolly good show, it is! I shall take up my responsibilities with the utmost diligence and effort at once, good sirs and sahs and my Ladies!
Glory to the Emparh!

Good sah

i wish to join your glorious Emparh

i would welcome the chance to show those damn colonials that one English person is worth ten foreigners in what ever he does

Off topic, but... how did you make that smilie? I saw one like that of Iwo Jima, and i was wondering how you change the flag on that

Sah! In the great traditions of England and the indefatigable Cockney .... I nicked it :)

What ho!

I'm currently writing a personal statement for UCAS, and what terribly good fun it is too!

Good sah

i wish to join your glorious Emparh

i would welcome the chance to show those damn colonials that one English person is worth ten foreigners in what ever he does
Welcome, welcome, good sah! A Minister for Imperial Education if I ever saw one, wot!

Sah! In the great traditions of England and the indefatigable Cockney .... I nicked it :)
Nicked it, sah? No, you did not nick it! All property on God's earth belongs to the Emparh! You simply took it back it from the savages that stole it from your mind in the first place, wot!

Welcome, welcome, good sah! A Minister for Imperial Education if I ever saw one, wot!

Welcome to the Emparh, chap! I say we celebrate your appointment with a good cuppa tea.

Welcome to the Emparh, chap! I say we celebrate your appointment with a good cuppa tea.

A Toast! To the undying glory of the empah! HUZZAH!

Welcome to the Emparh, chap! I say we celebrate your appointment with a good cuppa tea.

Tea? Did someone say tea?

Jolly good show! This election is thirsty business, wot!

I shall now proceed to raise a loyal regiment and pacify the former Confederate States of America. Bloody inbreeders have no culture at all!

What a spiffing idea, old chap. We need to start a good war. After all our troops have recently been issued with new uniforms, I'm sure the brave soilders would like to show off their stylish new clothes. They should be sent over to America to help you fight the riff-raff that opposes our glorious Emparh. Huzzah!

What a spiffing idea, old chap. We need to start a good war. After all our troops have recently been issued with new uniforms, I'm sure the brave soilders would like to show off their stylish new clothes. They should be sent over to America to help you fight the riff-raff that opposes our glorious Emparh. Huzzah!

Ah, Lady Sir Vacuumhead! Were you making that tea?

Someone promised me tea, wot!

Ah, Lady Sir Vacuumhead! Were you making that tea?

Someone promised me tea, wot!

I'll make it this once, but I suggest that we employ ten servants whose duty is to keep our cups full. Us ministers need our tea, it is vital to the the well-being of our great Emparh!

Nicked it, sah? No, you did not nick it! All property on God's earth belongs to the Emparh! You simply took it back it from the savages that stole it from your mind in the first place, wot!

HUZZAH!!!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v427/vonbek/rourke.gif

I'll make it this once, but I suggest that we employ ten servants whose duty is to keep our cups full. Us ministers need our tea, it is vital to the the well-being of our great Emparh!

I shall find some Damn Colonials to do it at once, good Lady Sah! God may have overlooked their nations for everything else, but they do make a fine cuppa, wot!

I shall find some Damn Colonials to do it at once, good Lady Sah! God may have overlooked their nations for everything else, but they do make a fine cuppa, wot!

Yes, old chap sir. It is my belief that God intended for those Damn Colonials to serve us noble Brits, wot wot?

HUZZAH!!!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v427/vonbek/rourke.gif
Hmm... I say lad thats some jolly good artwork thah!
Could ye, perhaps, tell me what course of action i should be takin to get a spiffin emoticon like that thar!
*starts singing greenday's famous song "American Idiot"*
Dont wanna be an American Idiot...

Hmm... I say lad thats some jolly good artwork thah!
Could ye, perhaps, tell me what course of action i should be takin to get a spiffin emoticon like that thar!
*starts singing greenday's famous song "American Idiot"*
Dont wanna be an American Idiot...

There is hope for this Damn Colonial yet. *Hands you a cuppa laced with vodka*

There is hope for this Damn Colonial yet. *Hands you a cuppa laced with vodka*

Och! There is nah place fer Russki vodka in oor great British party!

Hae some whisky instead lad! The Scots invented it nay matter wha' thae Americans and Chinese folk believe!

*Slips him a bottle o' fine malt*

*mixes whiskey and Vodka* I SAY LADS, THIS BE SOME SPIFFIN STUFF, WOT!
I shall call it... English Whiska!
((anyway, I wanna figure out how to make an emoticon like the flag-waving one, except with my own regional flag))

*mixes whiskey and Vodka* I SAY LADS, THIS BE SOME SPIFFIN STUFF, WOT!
I shall call it... English Whiska!
((anyway, I wanna figure out how to make an emoticon like the flag-waving one, except with my own regional flag))

Spiffing, good sah, truly spiffing! We shall mix some damn fine British whiska into the tea before battle, and Johny Mole won't know what hit him! Huzzah!

And as to some tea-filling servants... does it matter if they've till got both legs? I've got some damn fine ex-batmen we could use, wot!

Annoucing, The First Resident and Colonial Master of Singapore.

Sorry I was gone, bloomin weather, delayed my flight and i was stuck in Fiji, was trying to get the goverment there to become part of the Emprah, lousy babarians, talking about some shit called "liberation" or something like that.

Annoucing, The First Resident and Colonial Master of Singapore.

Sorry I was gone, bloomin weather, delayed my flight and i was stuck in Fiji, was trying to get the goverment there to become part of the Emprah, lousy babarians, talking about some shit called "liberation" or something like that.

It's unfortunate that you did not get this barbaric country to become a part of our great Emparh, but it is there loss. No tea will be imported into Fiji, wot!

thank you good sah for allowing me to join

as minister of education i suggest that we start teaching the glory of Britian above all else

Sah, I hear that the Navy and Army are recuiting! I suggest that we bring in more native levies of those damn colonials. Get them to do some real work for a change...
Though those serving the Ministers' tea shall of course be excused duty. After all, tea is more important than war.
On the subject of the tea, I hear that pirates are lurking off the coasts of the African and Asian colonies... Might I suggest that we commission ten new Dreadnoughts? This will put us back a mere 400,000,000 pounds sterling, a small price to pay to protect the tea.
Could the Chancellor of the Exchequer authorise such expenditure?

I will also go about raising a regiment for Grimsby and Caistor, wot? They shall be paid for out of my own funds. On that account, I would also like to request that my salary be reduced somewhat. Four thousand pounds of tea a year seems a little hefty, even for a British Member of Parliament. If nothing else then I will donate them to you bloody fine lot.
Awful weather, is it not?
Well, pip pip for now, old boys/girls. Must go and persuade 622 Grammar school students why they should join the regiment as soon as they are eligible, wot?

Ta ta.

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Ilaer CBE OBE MBE Lord Chancellor

Sah, I hear that the Navy and Army are recuiting! I suggest that we bring in more native levies of those damn colonials. Get them to do some real work for a change...
Though those serving the Ministers' tea shall of course be excused duty. After all, tea is more important than war.
On the subject of the tea, I hear that pirates are lurking off the coasts of the African and Asian colonies... Might I suggest that we commission ten new Dreadnoughts? This will put us back a mere 400,000,000 pounds sterling, a small price to pay to protect the tea.
Could the Chancellor of the Exchequer authorise such expenditure?
Pirates! Pirates are the curse of good British civilisation, wot! We spread our outstanding culture and values around the world, asking nothing in return except for the right to rule their lands and take their things, and they try to stand in our way! Treasonous swines! A new fleet of Dreadnoughts sounds a marvellous idea, wot!

I will also go about raising a regiment for Grimsby and Caistor, wot? They shall be paid for out of my own funds. On that account, I would also like to request that my salary be reduced somewhat. Four thousand pounds of tea a year seems a little hefty, even for a British Member of Parliament. If nothing else then I will donate them to you bloody fine lot.
Sah, you are a true gentleman! We shall take this generous donation and send it to the colonies at once, wot! You have brought civilisation to yet another far away part of the Emparh. Huzzah!

Awful weather, is it not?
Terrible, old boy, truly terrible.

Well, pip pip for now, old boys/girls. Must go and persuade 622 Grammar school students why they should join the regiment as soon as they are eligible, wot?
Best of luck, good sah! Grammar school boys make the finest soldiers, wot!

Pip pip!

HUZZAH!!!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v427/vonbek/rourke.gif

Oh dear god thats brilliant......:)

I just ate a chicken karahi today, it tasted beautiful. Those Indians make some excellent food, wot! I say next time we import some tea, we should pick up some good Indian chefs. The Emparh would be a better place if curries were available to all. :)

Well chaps, I must say your a jolly good lot!
I harhby pledge the alliegance of my region, RANNO, to the glorious Emparh!
I shant move out of my nation, because it is a bloody wonderful spot to sip Whiska and eat scones!

Well chaps, I must say your a jolly good lot!
I harhby pledge the alliegance of my region, RANNO, to the glorious Emparh!
I shant move out of my nation, because it is a bloody wonderful spot to sip Whiska and eat scones!

Jolly good show, old chap! So what is your countries main export? Do you have tea leaves over there?

Jolly good show, old chap! So what is your countries main export? Do you have tea leaves over there?
The main industry is Vodka brewing, although we are adding some jolly good tea and whiskey to the menu, wotwot!

The main industry is Vodka brewing, although we are adding some jolly good tea and whiskey to the menu, wotwot!

Jolly good, wot! Don't forget to put crumpets on the menu, my dear fellow. :)

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/07/11/pt_crumpet_ent-lead__200x300,0.jpg

Jolly good, wot! Don't forget to put crumpets on the menu, my dear fellow. :)

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/07/11/pt_crumpet_ent-lead__200x300,0.jpg
*his mouth waters* Ive loved crumpets since i was a wee lad!
THIS IS WONDERFUL!
weve had a crumpet famine in Vodka-stonia :(

*his mouth waters* Ive loved crumpets since i was a wee lad!
THIS IS WONDERFUL!
weve had a crumpet famine in Vodka-stonia :(

:eek:

Crumpets are simple to make, you should have all the ingredients available. Send some of your people over to Great Britain and I'll get the damn colonials trained as crumpet chefs.

:eek:

Crumpets are simple to make, you should have all the ingredients available. Send some of your people over to Great Britain and I'll get the damn colonials trained as crumpet chefs.
*sends a bunch of Vodka-stonian mothers to Britain for training*

Well chaps, I must say your a jolly good lot!
I harhby pledge the alliegance of my region, RANNO, to the glorious Emparh!
I shant move out of my nation, because it is a bloody wonderful spot to sip Whiska and eat scones!

What's this, sahs, another new member! Glorious, absolutely glorious! Minister for Spirits you shall be, good sah!

What's this, sahs, another new member! Glorious, absolutely glorious! Minister for Spirits you shall be, good sah!
Thank ye, good sah! I shall get to work posthaste!

*sends a bunch of Vodka-stonian mothers to Britain for training*

No, no, no!

How many times must I tell you damn colonial ladies? Do not substitute milk with vodka, that is not the way to make the perfect crumpet. :rolleyes:

I am so proud to be a member of the New British Imperial Party, I have updated the jolly old sig to let everyone know, wot!

I am so proud to be a member of the New British Imperial Party, I have updated the jolly old sig to let everyone know, wot!
Good Lady Sah, I salute you once more!

I say, Her Majesty is truly fortunate to have so many loyal subjects in her Emparh, wot!

Good Lady Sah, I salute you once more!

I say, Her Majesty is truly fortunate to have so many loyal subjects in her Emparh, wot!

It is us who are fortunate to serve Her Majesty, God bless Her. This is a spiffing job, and I greatly enjoy my tea privileges.

I've been rather busy these past few days, wot, so I thought I'd just pop in for a cuppa and a quick Huzzah!

God Save the Queen!

I've been rather busy these past few days, wot, so I thought I'd just pop in for a cuppa and a quick Huzzah!

God Save the Queen!

Huzzah! Rule Britannia! And save me a crumpet, will you, chaps?

Huzzah! Rule Britannia! And save me a crumpet, will you, chaps?

That goes for me too, old bean, if you wouldn't terribly mind!
Crumpets... I propose a toast to them.

I have a report to make on the progress of the new squadron of Dreadnoughts I requested and our glorious leader Philosophy authorised (I think), good chaps.
The shipyard I requested to construct these great battleships decided it was going to take up a more lucrative order from the damn American colonies rather than our own. I didn't think those damned colonials could afford more than 400,000,000 pounds sterling, wot! :confused:
Anyway, as the tea routes need protecting from the pirate scourge and take absolute priority I decided to make it very clear just how much the tea was worth to Britain and precisely what would be the fate of any who did not give the tea such priority. I explained it at some length.....
Needless to say, they immediately came around to my mode of thought. I never thought the blighters could work that fast! Therefore, I beg to report that the first Dreadnought, HMS John Bull, will likely be finished by next week.
On the names of these Dreadnoughts I beg the Imperial Committee to review and approve:
HMS John Bull
HMS Victoria
HMS Harlech
HMS Tea
HMS Atkins
HMS Churchill
HMS Wallace
HMS Wellesley
HMS Bonnie Prince
HMS Philosophy
At the moment the vast majority are Britain/English oriented, though two are named after Scottish heroes (though I cannot remember whether Bonnie Prince Charlie was actually Scottish, wot, or whether he merely enlisted the clans' aid) and one is connected to Wales. It would be a much fairer example if some were named after Irish and Welsh figures as well. Any suggestions, good chaps?
Sad to report, my attempt to enlist the Grammarian students was somewhat unsuccessful. It led to a pledge to the Queen by two students, while the remaining six hundred and twenty promptly threw eggs and tomatoes at me. Damned young'uns! If I were older than fourteen, stronger than I am and also had the permission, why I'd teach them some manners, wot!
That is all I had to report, old bean, except that I have authorised the transfer of three thousand five hundred pounds of tea to the Houses of Parliament. Once it arrives please do with it what you will.
Have a good day, my friends.

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Ilaer, CBE, OBE, MBE, Lord Chancellor of the New British Imperial Party

Goodevening Sahs!

Been awhile since I'd been here. Bloody dutch school keepin me busy with useless tales that do not even concern the Emparh,Tea or the great glory of our Navy! A shame!

Therefore I advise, good sahs, as Leader of The Dutch Wing of the NBIP that we invade the Netherlands and bring glorious reform to the Netherlands! Truely such close neighbours should be influenced by glorious British-ness. For heavens sake, they don't even drink Tea! :eek:

except that I have authorised the transfer of three thousand five hundred pounds of tea to the Houses of Parliament. Once it arrives please do with it what you will.


Why jolly good show sah! Huzzah!

Krensonia,
Leader of the Dutch Wing of the NBIP

Sahs! Her Majesties enemies, the other parties. Have extensive manifestos about things as Healthcare,education and economical freedoms! While our manifesto be superior to all other already (It is British, so it is superior) I urge we also add some details here and there about these subjects, Sahs.. Greater explanation on Her Majesties favoured party by treating these subject might attract more people to join the glorious Emparh! As Leader of the Dutch wing I have not much say in these subjects, but I urge we make a detailed report on these subjects!

Huzzah! Rule Britannia!
Krensonia,
Leader of the Dutch wing of the NBIP.

That goes for me too, old bean, if you wouldn't terribly mind!
Crumpets... I propose a toast to them.

Needless to say, they immediately came around to my mode of thought. I never thought the blighters could work that fast! Therefore, I beg to report that the first Dreadnought, HMS John Bull, will likely be finished by next week.
On the names of these Dreadnoughts I beg the Imperial Committee to review and approve:
HMS John Bull
HMS Victoria
HMS Harlech
HMS Tea
HMS Atkins
HMS Churchill
HMS Wallace
HMS Wellesley
HMS Bonnie Prince
HMS Philosophy
At the moment the vast majority are Britain/English oriented, though two are named after Scottish heroes (though I cannot remember whether Bonnie Prince Charlie was actually Scottish, wot, or whether he merely enlisted the clans' aid) and one is connected to Wales. It would be a much fairer example if some were named after Irish and Welsh figures as well. Any suggestions, good chaps?
Naming them after most Welsh heroes would cause most of our glorious generals to choke whenever mentioning them. Nevertheless, I would submit, Llywelyn ap Gruffydd
Owain Glyndwr
Taliesin
Bevin
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Jones or Williams is also a good cover-all bet:)
(on a side note, the number of important Americans who's ancestors were Welsh is surprisingly impressive) that is Sorry to report several Welshmen and women have deserted for America Sah.

Goodevening Sahs!

Been awhile since I'd been here. Bloody dutch school keepin me busy with useless tales that do not even concern the Emparh,Tea or the great glory of our Navy! A shame!

Therefore I advise, good sahs, as Leader of The Dutch Wing of the NBIP that we invade the Netherlands and bring glorious reform to the Netherlands! Truely such close neighbours should be influenced by glorious British-ness. For heavens sake, they don't even drink Tea! :eek:



Why jolly good show sah! Huzzah!

Krensonia,
Leader of the Dutch Wing of the NBIP

Spiffing, old boy, I shall prepare a division at once! With our new dreadnought squadron, nothing will impede our quest to enlighten the damn foreigner/colonial in the ways of glorious British culture!

Huzzah!!!

No coffee? :eek: :eek: :eek: that's... that's inhuman!

That goes for me too, old bean, if you wouldn't terribly mind!
Crumpets... I propose a toast to them.

I have a report to make on the progress of the new squadron of Dreadnoughts I requested and our glorious leader Philosophy authorised (I think), good chaps.
The shipyard I requested to construct these great battleships decided it was going to take up a more lucrative order from the damn American colonies rather than our own. I didn't think those damned colonials could afford more than 400,000,000 pounds sterling, wot! :confused:
Anyway, as the tea routes need protecting from the pirate scourge and take absolute priority I decided to make it very clear just how much the tea was worth to Britain and precisely what would be the fate of any who did not give the tea such priority. I explained it at some length.....
Needless to say, they immediately came around to my mode of thought. I never thought the blighters could work that fast! Therefore, I beg to report that the first Dreadnought, HMS John Bull, will likely be finished by next week.
On the names of these Dreadnoughts I beg the Imperial Committee to review and approve:
HMS John Bull
HMS Victoria
HMS Harlech
HMS Tea
HMS Atkins
HMS Churchill
HMS Wallace
HMS Wellesley
HMS Bonnie Prince
HMS Philosophy
At the moment the vast majority are Britain/English oriented, though two are named after Scottish heroes (though I cannot remember whether Bonnie Prince Charlie was actually Scottish, wot, or whether he merely enlisted the clans' aid) and one is connected to Wales. It would be a much fairer example if some were named after Irish and Welsh figures as well. Any suggestions, good chaps?
Sad to report, my attempt to enlist the Grammarian students was somewhat unsuccessful. It led to a pledge to the Queen by two students, while the remaining six hundred and twenty promptly threw eggs and tomatoes at me. Damned young'uns! If I were older than fourteen, stronger than I am and also had the permission, why I'd teach them some manners, wot!
That is all I had to report, old bean, except that I have authorised the transfer of three thousand five hundred pounds of tea to the Houses of Parliament. Once it arrives please do with it what you will.
Have a good day, my friends.

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Ilaer, CBE, OBE, MBE, Lord Chancellor of the New British Imperial Party


Wot WOT!!! A new fleet of Dreadnaughts??

HUZZAH!!!!

For EMPRAH!!!!

Spiffing, old boy, I shall prepare a division at once! With our new dreadnought squadron, nothing will impede our quest to enlighten the damn foreigner/colonial in the ways of glorious British culture!

Huzzah!!!

For the Emparh! Not even the bloody weather shall stop us!

No coffee? :eek: :eek: :eek: that's... that's inhuman!

Has this damn colonial never experienced the wonderful taste of tea? :eek:
For the Emparh! Not even the bloody weather shall stop us!

Of course the bloody weather cannot stop us Brits. A hot cup of tea will keep us warm, wot?

Woooooot sign me up right now!! I can't belive I was away at that exact moment :S

Aye! Hail the Queen!

Naming them after most Welsh heroes would cause most of our glorious generals to choke whenever mentioning them. Nevertheless, I would submit, Llywelyn ap Gruffydd
Owain Glyndwr
Taliesin
Bevin
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Jones or Williams is also a good cover-all bet:)
(on a side note, the number of important Americans who's ancestors were Welsh is surprisingly impressive) that is Sorry to report several Welshmen and women have deserted for America Sah.

Wot! A group of Welsh have deserted Britain in her hour of need, the hour when we most need men and women, having begun preparations for the invasion of Holland? How dare they! Some of the finest regiments in the British Army's history have been Welsh, and yet this small group has failed us! My faith in Wales needs now to be restored, good sir! :mad:
On the positive side of things, I do like those names for our new Dreadnought squadron. Bevin and Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch do seem a good bet, especially the latter. :)
HMS Bevin is accepted! But tell me, good chaps, which ship should be renamed? Certainly not HMS Philosophy, a tribute to our glorious leader! I suggest HMS Wallace. What do you bloody fine lot think?
On a side note, good chap Forsakia, that side note was grammatically incorrect. It should have been "whose" rather than "who's". I'm sorry, good chap!

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Ilaer, CBE, OBE, MBE, Lord Chancellor of the New British Imperial Party

Spiffing, old boy, I shall prepare a division at once! With our new dreadnought squadron, nothing will impede our quest to enlighten the damn foreigner/colonial in the ways of glorious British culture!

Huzzah!!!

Grand, Good sah! We need to show my Dutch brethren the way of the British Emparh! But again I wish to urge we also need to expand our Manifesto to cover things as healthcare, economics, education and such. Some damned foreigners seem to believe this is important. However, since we have to gain more support it would seem a jolly good idea to add these subject to our glorious manifesto.

I say chaps, I think education should be compulsory for all Brits and damn colonials. We can help pay for all this education by looting...erm, I mean confiscating things from pirates and foreign ships.

Far too many people speak our language poorly, they should be taught to speak English the way us noble Brits do, wot? All schoolchildren should be required to play cricket, it is a jolly good sport. Children must also wear a uniform to school, typically a dull grey or navy one. Free tea should be provided to children in school, as this will make it easier to stay awake during lessons. ;)

Huzzah!

Has this damn colonial never experienced the wonderful taste of tea? :eek:


Of course the bloody weather cannot stop us Brits. A hot cup of tea will keep us warm, wot?

I like tea, but only green tea. Preferably warm or ice cold, yum. Anyway, coffee is better. :p

I like tea, but only green tea. Preferably warm or ice cold, yum. Anyway, coffee is better. :p

The two sips of coffee I've ever tried, were two sips too many. Yuck! :gundge:

The two sips of coffee I've ever tried, were two sips too many. Yuck! :gundge:

WTF does "wot" mean?

WTF does "wot" mean?

Definition
wot
pronoun UK NOT STANDARD MAINLY HUMOROUS
used in writing for what or that:
Wot? No food?
It's him wot won it.

You have a TG. :)

I say chaps, I think education should be compulsory for all Brits and damn colonials. We can help pay for all this education by looting...erm, I mean confiscating things from pirates and foreign ships.

Far too many people speak our language poorly, they should be taught to speak English the way us noble Brits do, wot? All schoolchildren should be required to play cricket, it is a jolly good sport. Children must also wear a uniform to school, typically a dull grey or navy one. Free tea should be provided to children in school, as this will make it easier to stay awake during lessons. ;)

Huzzah!

Right sah!. So..

Education

Education be free and to be paid by confiscation from pirate and foreign ships
School children will be required to play cricket
A uniform is compulsory, prefferably something grey or navy
Free tea is to be provided to every school


Jolly good sah! I'd like to request this be added to the manifesto!

That goes for me too, old bean, if you wouldn't terribly mind!
Crumpets... I propose a toast to them.

I have a report to make on the progress of the new squadron of Dreadnoughts I requested and our glorious leader Philosophy authorised (I think), good chaps.
The shipyard I requested to construct these great battleships decided it was going to take up a more lucrative order from the damn American colonies rather than our own. I didn't think those damned colonials could afford more than 400,000,000 pounds sterling, wot! :confused:
Anyway, as the tea routes need protecting from the pirate scourge and take absolute priority I decided to make it very clear just how much the tea was worth to Britain and precisely what would be the fate of any who did not give the tea such priority. I explained it at some length.....
Needless to say, they immediately came around to my mode of thought. I never thought the blighters could work that fast! Therefore, I beg to report that the first Dreadnought, HMS John Bull, will likely be finished by next week.
On the names of these Dreadnoughts I beg the Imperial Committee to review and approve:
HMS John Bull
HMS Victoria
HMS Harlech
HMS Tea
HMS Atkins
HMS Churchill
HMS Wallace
HMS Wellesley
HMS Bonnie Prince
HMS Philosophy
At the moment the vast majority are Britain/English oriented, though two are named after Scottish heroes (though I cannot remember whether Bonnie Prince Charlie was actually Scottish, wot, or whether he merely enlisted the clans' aid) and one is connected to Wales. It would be a much fairer example if some were named after Irish and Welsh figures as well. Any suggestions, good chaps?
Sad to report, my attempt to enlist the Grammarian students was somewhat unsuccessful. It led to a pledge to the Queen by two students, while the remaining six hundred and twenty promptly threw eggs and tomatoes at me. Damned young'uns! If I were older than fourteen, stronger than I am and also had the permission, why I'd teach them some manners, wot!
That is all I had to report, old bean, except that I have authorised the transfer of three thousand five hundred pounds of tea to the Houses of Parliament. Once it arrives please do with it what you will.
Have a good day, my friends.

The Rt. Hon. Lord Sir Ilaer, CBE, OBE, MBE, Lord Chancellor of the New British Imperial Party
Im nay sure what this classifies as, old chap, but I would like to add the HMS Whiskah to the list, wotwot! Its the size of a bloody island, and as well equipped as an entire naval base! It even has barracks, airfields, command towers, and belowdecks, a place where you can grow tea and other assorted thinggummits to feed and quench the troops!
Huzzah for the British Emparh!
By the by, mates, anyone declare any good wars lately? That bloody German prime minister kneed me in the nads the other day just because I showed up to his party!... or was it a diplomatic conference... anyway i brought whiska, so i dont see the problem! *picks up a cricket bat and whacks the German Prime Minister on the head*

Jolly good sah! I'd like to request this be added to the manifesto!
I suggest that we change the first point to:
Education is free and it is compulsory until sixteen years of age, or longer if they struggle in learning how to speak English properly, wot!

(We probably shouldn't mention stealing from the damn foreigners, it will only cause a fuss). ;)


Has anyone else got any suggestions to improving education within the Emparh?

I suggest that we change the first point to:
Education is free and it is compulsory until sixteen years of age, or longer if they struggle in learning how to speak English properly, wot!

(We probably shouldn't mention stealing from the damn foreigners, it will only cause a fuss). ;)


Has anyone else got any suggestions to improving education within the Emparh?
Hmm... I say all hopeless cases must be sent to the Hopeless Cases "*special school", rather than lowering the educational standards to meet them.

*military training facility

Hmm... I say all hopeless cases must be sent to the Hopeless Cases "*special school", rather than lowering the educational standards to meet them.

*military training facility

Jolly good, sah! You've my support on that.

wot ho, chaps, i'd love to join you, being a british man, but since starting my own country i've been rather attached to emporer... me, hehe wot wot, i assure you my fellow brits that you can always find a friend in the jolly emparh of mega gning! tally ho!:D