NationStates Jolt Archive

Eh, what the hell...

*Shrugs and kisses Choq back*

I thought I was the shemale in here?

*runs to him and slaps him on the ass*

*starts to giggle, then laugh, looking at Choq and Skinny*
its not THAT small

*runs to him and slaps him on the ass*
Ouch........still hurting all over







Do it again..... al ittle harder

Ouch........still hurting all over

Do it again..... al ittle harder

With the whip or sans?

its not THAT small

*Knocks microscope out of Choqs hand*

No, sorry buddy, it is.

*Knocks microscope out of Choqs hand*

No, sorry buddy, it is.
dude i was looking at yours with that

*Looks at Choq and then TCG. Frowns. Is confused on what, or whom, to do...*

*Looks at Choq and then TCG. Frowns. Is confused on what, or whom, to do...*

Come over here and let me introduce you to LP. Do you know LP? if you do, just ocme help me anyway...

With the whip or sans?
surprise me


*puts on blindfold*

Yes, I do know LP, we've...met...before I believe.

*Walks over, admiring TCG before moving to LP*

*Looks at Choq and then TCG. Frowns. Is confused on what, or whom, to do...*
*licks neck softly*
im her pet *points to cg* and i belong to her and peech *nods*
*hands you pink dress* put that on lp

surprise me


*puts on blindfold*
*sticks something somewhere*
surprised?

*sticks something somewhere*
surprised?
pleasantly

*she vanishes for a few seconds then reappears hold switches. she tries them on the wall, and slow grin spreads across her face. she goes to LP and gently at first, but with a steady increase in force and speed, she switches LP's bottom*

pleasantly
*pets*
hows my lovely LP today?
*frenchkisses him thoroughly*

*AHERM*

I have now recouperated from the recent hangover that has lasted me through many months of hibernation and I now awake and issue my decrees:

1] I cannot stress enough the importance of fresh underwear, people. Do a load of laundry now and then, mmkay?

2] If you tape my shows, please label them.

3] Stay outta my booze.

That's it.

Now ... where'd I put that bottle?

*wanders off to the kitchen*

*she vanishes for a few seconds then reappears hold switches. she tries them on the wall, and slow grin spreads across her face. she goes to LP and gently at first, but with a steady increase in force and speed, she switches LP's bottom*
Another surprise?

*tears well up*

and it's not even my birthday yet

*Watches TCG, smiling at her movements*

*Watches TCG, smiling at her movements*
*slides over*
*ravages him*
*hides*

*Feels violated by Choq. Runs off*

*Feels violated by Choq. Runs off*
*falls out of hiding space cackling madly*
vic.....to.....ry.....is.... mine.... hahahahaha

*Runs back in with large mace. Throws mace into Choqs privates...*

*falls out of hiding space cackling madly*
vic.....to.....ry.....is.... mine.... hahahahaha

*she chuckles while licking LP's welts...*
You are so evil Choq...
*shares a wicked grin*

*Runs back in with large mace. Throws mace into Choqs privates...*
*laughs harder*
dude ive been hit in the nuts so many times *roll around still cackling*
want a beer? * offers beer doubled over in laughter*

Damnit Keruvalia Dark Lord! You wont stay long enough for me to carve on you properly when you stop by!


ok someone ravaged me, someone felt me up and someone said hi..........

i miss so much when I'm uot for 30 mins. I cant keep up.

Damnit Keruvalia Dark Lord! You wont stay long enough for me to carve on you properly when you stop by!


ok someone ravaged me, someone felt me up and someone said hi..........

i miss so much when I'm uot for 30 mins. I cant keep up.
*says hi, ravages and feels up*
there!

*laughs harder*
dude ive been hit in the nuts so many times *roll around still cackling*
want a beer? * offers beer doubled over in laughter*

He's developed a protective layer of calluses down there.........

He's developed a protective layer of calluses down there.........*
offers beer*

Damnit Keruvalia Dark Lord! You wont stay long enough for me to carve on you properly when you stop by!


ok someone ravaged me, someone felt me up and someone said hi..........

i miss so much when I'm uot for 30 mins. I cant keep up.

*approaches her golden maiden and thoroughly kisses her while gropping her under the kilt*

*approaches her golden maiden and thoroughly kisses her while gropping her under the kilt*
*helps groping both*

*
offers beer*

Ooo, beer
*chugs*
I always preferred a bloody Mary. Interpret that as you will :D

*Takes beer reluctantly, drinks and smashes over Choqs head. Waves at Peech and says hi*

*approaches her golden maiden and thoroughly kisses her while gropping her under the kilt*


I was sooooooo hoping you werent the one that said "hi"


*french kisses her deeply and reciprocates said grope*

Ooo, beer
*chugs*
I always preferred a bloody Mary. Interpret that as you will :D
*finds girl naked err i mean named errr... mary*
*bloodies her*
*tosses her to SD*
better?

Damnit Keruvalia Dark Lord! You wont stay long enough for me to carve on you properly when you stop by!

Oh I am always around. You know that strange darkness that shoots by in the corner of your eye whenever you blink after not sleeping for three days?

That's me.

Anyhoo, dear collector of scroti, you have at least an hour before I find my next place to pass out. Did you know someone has removed all the cups from the kitchen?

I was sooooooo hoping you werent the one that said "hi"


*french kisses her deeply and reciprocates said grope*

Oh yes, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!

*Brings chocolate out*

Mind if I join in?

*finds girl naked err i mean named errr... mary*
*bloodies her*
*tosses her to SD*
better?

Beaten not stirred? Yum!
*Slurp*
I have a drinking problem, I admit it

Oh yes, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!
*growls restlessly*

*growls restlessly*
*kisses n feeds him chocolate*
im here hunny *bats eyes*

Oh yes, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!

*low, throaty chuckle escapes her lips, as she caresses Peech soft, perfect skin.*
*she throws him some chocolate sauce*
Try that, it's good for ya...
*evil grin*

*finds girl naked err i mean named errr... mary*
*bloodies her*
*tosses her to SD*
better?

Ahahaha, or you can just find Mary at a strategic time of the month to save yourself the trouble.

Ew, I'm being gross.

Blood and chocolate. What a great place :)

*samples LP* mmm delicious

Why don't we go join the boys, Peech? LP must be lonesome for you? If not Choq is....

*low, throaty chuckle escapes her lips, as she caresses Peech soft, perfect skin.*
*she throws him some chocolate sauce*
Try that, it's good for ya...
*evil grin*

*Chocolates up*
I look like a dessert, yet I retain my dignity
*Slips into grope fest, lubricated by chocolate*
Hello ladies :D

*Bows deeply to TCG and Peech*

I know I'd be honoured if you joined me for a few...games...

Ahahaha, or you can just find Mary at a strategic time of the month to save yourself the trouble.

Ew, I'm being gross.
lmao *puts on kilt* lp choc, peech we have a visitor!
excuse the make up love i have a femenescent side i love to express..... though the kilt makes it look a bit odd *kisses each cheek*

Oh I am always around. You know that strange darkness that shoots by in the corner of your eye whenever you blink after not sleeping for three days?

That's me.

Anyhoo, dear collector of scroti, you have at least an hour before I find my next place to pass out. Did you know someone has removed all the cups from the kitchen?


yes....we just drink directly from the bottle or suck on whatever container holds desired liquid.

*offers Keru some Patron*

you can drink after me............I dont have cooties. Well..........not anymore.

*carves "Better late than never.......Peech was here" on his forehead to show her affections*

who wants a story?

lmao *puts on kilt* lp choc, peech we have a visitor!
excuse the make up love i have a femenescent side i love to express..... though the kilt makes it look a bit odd *kisses each cheek*

Kilts are the shizznit. *clings to kilt*

yes....we just drink directly from the bottle or suck on whatever container holds desired liquid.

Oh ... how civilised. *snorts indignantly*

*offers Keru some Patron*

*drinks it all in one long draught*

you can drink after me............I dont have cooties. Well..........not anymore.

I know. I outlawed them.

*carves "Better late than never.......Peech was here" on his forehead to show her affections*

Did anyone ever tell you how wonderful your penmanship is?

*Bows deeply to TCG and Peech*

I know I'd be honoured if you joined me for a few...games...


what was that game we were playing the other day skinny? Hide the kazoo? Naughty Twister? I cant remember

Kilts are the shizznit. *clings to kilt*


ohh another admirer *grins* feel free to look or play under it

Any game that you want, Peech...and should TCG want to join in, I wouldn't be rude and turn her away...

*Gets out Twister and Chocolate Syrup and beckons to Peech*

Did anyone ever tell you how wonderful your penmanship is?


my dear dark castlemate...........wait til you see my...........erm......oh what the heck...*shows it to him now*

my dear dark castlemate...........wait til you see my...........erm......oh what the heck...*shows it to him now*
*licks it*

my dear dark castlemate...........wait til you see my...........erm......oh what the heck...*shows it to him now*

Now that's something I could pass out in!

Now that's something I could pass out in!


*nod*

I hear its a very comfortable spot

*nod*

I hear its a very comfortable spot


can i touch it?

*Holds Chocolate Sauce and stares at Peech with wide eyes*

*prances round in kilt*

*Holds Chocolate Sauce and stares at Peech with wide eyes*

*glides over to her tassled pillows and watches the show, self-gratifying on her castlemates'... inventiveness

*glides over to her tassled pillows and watches the show, self-gratifying on her castlemates'... inventiveness
*grabs hands* no! my job!
*gratifies her*

*Holds Chocolate Sauce and stares at Peech with wide eyes*



*sticks her finger in chocolate sauce ..........licks it from her finger sloooowly...*

whadda ya wanna play ?

*Throws Chocolate bottle at Choq for getting there before he did. Looks around aimlessly with nothing to do*

*nod*

I hear its a very comfortable spot

Well I will soon be needing a place to pass out. I always pass out with partners. Is there room for two or three of us?

*sticks her finger in chocolate sauce ..........licks it from her finger sloooowly...*

whadda ya wanna play ?

Oh, I don't know Peech...why don't we just see where this goes...

*Draws Peech closer and kisses her passionately*

*grabs hands* no! my job!
*gratifies her*

*sneaks up under the kilt*
:eek:

Well I will soon be needing a place to pass out. I always pass out with partners. Is there room for two or three of us?

There is always room on my pillows...*wicked smile*

*sneaks up under the kilt*
:eek:
oh ok *lays back*

Well I will soon be needing a place to pass out. I always pass out with partners. Is there room for two or three of us?


*looks down at the spot she was referring to, thinking it just might not be the same spot he's talking about*

theres room for whatever you wanna put there.


*giggles at her desk cause thats just so wrong*


ooc: which makes me think of the south park episode where they have the "Whore Off" with Paris Hilton. Did anyone else see that?

*looks down at the spot she was referring to, thinking it just might not be the same spot he's talking about*

theres room for whatever you wanna put there.


*giggles at her desk cause thats just so wrong*


ooc: which makes me think of the south park episode where they have the "Whore Off" with Paris Hilton. Did anyone else see that?
no but can i whore myself to you?

There is always room on my pillows...*wicked smile*

Ooh! Pillows! You know I only like pillows stuffed with the hair shorn from the heads of newly deflowered virgins. Can we put them in Peech's spot and have a little nap?

*looks down at the spot she was referring to, thinking it just might not be the same spot he's talking about*


There is no figuring it out. Incidently, I think I may have outlawed monkeys.

Ooh! Pillows! You know I only like pillows stuffed with the hair shorn from the heads of newly deflowered virgins. Can we put them in Peech's spot and have a little nap?


she puts her stuff in my spot all the time. I am very generous with it.

she puts her stuff in my spot all the time. I am very generous with it.

That you are, my lover, that you are.
*licks her neck*

That you are, my lover, that you are.
*licks her neck*


I know......how do I keep losing you? One minute I am devouring luscious, sweet, creamy chocolate, the next, I'm playing Twister? Today is an odd day at the castle.

I know......how do I keep losing you? One minute I am devouring luscious, sweet, creamy chocolate, the next, I'm playing Twister? Today is an odd day at the castle.
*sigh* ive only gotten boy action *nods*

I know......how do I keep losing you? One minute I am devouring luscious, sweet, creamy chocolate, the next, I'm playing Twister? Today is an odd day at the castle.

That's ok, we have all the time in the world.. and when the boys are sleepy. *winks*

*sigh* ive only gotten boy action *nods*

Excuse me?

Pfftt

*goes back to petting and nibbling Peech*

That's ok, we have all the time in the world.. and when the boys are sleepy. *winks*


can you imagine if they woke up and saw us doing th.............well doing what we do when they are asleep? sigh....

Excuse me?

Pfftt

*goes back to petting and nibbling Peech*
hehe now touch me again!

can you imagine if they woke up and saw us doing th.............well doing what we do when they are asleep? sigh....
i watch all the time *nods*

can you imagine if they woke up and saw us doing th.............well doing what we do when they are asleep? sigh....


*thinking about it makes her all warm and fuzzy.. and...er... sweaty*
Hmmm, yes. that thing
*kisses her slowly, teasing her tongue and sucking her lip*

*thinking about it makes her all warm and fuzzy.. and...er... sweaty*
Hmmm, yes. that thing
*kisses her slowly, teasing her tongue and sucking her lip*


especially when Chad comes in. ;)

*licks cg and peech slowly*

*Glares at Choq, but continues to lick Peech as well*

*wanders in, looks around for the fridge*

OK, so thechnically I'm in a race. But then again, technically I've died and met elvis. So really it isn't all that impossible for me to be here...

*nips over to the fridge to get a beer, then looks around for a nice doorstop of a sandwich*

*Glares at Choq, but continues to lick Peech as well*
sorry there buddy *hands him some oil* use this she likes it *moves over to focus on cg*

*wanders in, looks around for the fridge*

OK, so thechnically I'm in a race. But then again, technically I've died and met elvis. So really it isn't all that impossible for me to be here...

*nips over to the fridge to get a beer, then looks around for a nice doorstop of a sandwich*


*drops EVERYTHING and runs to make Tribes a platter of sandwiches*

here darlin'...........have this Guinness too

*drops EVERYTHING and runs to make Tribes a platter of sandwiches*

here darlin'...........have this Guinness too

*wishes he were tribes*

im out mates.......later

*drops EVERYTHING and runs to make Tribes a platter of sandwiches*

here darlin'...........have this Guinness too
*definitely doesn't accept the sandwiches and guinness from Peech and then definitely does not decide to read to Peech in a manner that will make her moan for respite yet cry for more*

I definitely can(not) accept any of this or do any of this peech, because I am (not) here. Honest.

*looks around. Reads to Peech some more. Except he isn't doing any of this because he definitely isn't in the castle, he's currently involved in a race with Joc headi-*

Ah, screw it.

*drinks beer, eats sandwiches, pleasures...well, anyone who gets in the way really*

im out mates.......later
*small whimper from somewhere*

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

*small whimper from somewhere*

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
*grabs his bum*

*a young boy sits on a rock looking at a pile of bone chips. The chips belong to Jocabia and Tribes, and are bleached white from the sun. The two have been dead for three days and the boy, a bard, mourns there loss and the loss of their tales that he often sang to village children. He strums his guitar gently and begins to sing.*

Let me tell you of the tale of Jocabia and Tribes,
Who assaulted one another with midgets and bribes,
They suffered much damage to the painful nutsack,
As that seemed to be their favorite place of attack.

*As the bard sang, the bones began to bounce around.*

Oh, The Tribes of Longton and A man they called Joc,
Disappeared when eaten by a rather disgusting bloke,
So come here the tales Jocabia and Tribes,
And their vicious attacks and hurtful jibes.

*Suddenly the bones began to grow and full skeletons began to reform. The bard looked on in horror before running away in abject terror. Slowly tendons and arteries began to form around the bones. Fat and muscle became apparent and slowly skin began to form and close up around the new bodies. Eventually, The Tribes of Longton and Jocabia are whole and sitting on the ground sputtering and coughing. Jocabia took a little longer to form than Tribes because of the size of his neck.*

Jocabia: That was improbable.
Tribes: Tell me about it.
Jocabia: Man, being resurrected is tiring. I'm glad I don't have to do that very often.
Tribes: No shi- *rocks rain down upon Tribes and Jocabia.*
Jocabia: Dude, no more swearing. Mod rocks are back and I'm too tired for this sh... shtuff.
*the two lean back against the rock the bard was singing on. After a short time, the two are snoring loudly.*

*

<snip>

*the two lean back against the rock the bard was singing on. After a short time, the two are snoring loudly.*

*she goes out from the castle, as light as a feather and glowing, her voice soft, sweet voice singing the bard song and chuckling.*
Let me tell you of the tale of Jocabia and Tribes,
Who assaulted one another with midgets and bribes,
They suffered much damage to the painful nutsack,
As that seemed to be their favorite place of attack.

Oh, The Tribes of Longton and A man they called Joc,
Disappeared when eaten by a rather disgusting bloke,
So come here the tales Jocabia and Tribes,
And their vicious attacks and hurtful jibes.

*humming, she approaches the Pair, and grabbing a pouch from thin air, she takes a handful of Divine Cocoa Dust and blows it on them. she then turns her attention to the rock. It starts to glow softly and moments later is replaced by a mountain of chocolate n peach scented pillows. she smiles at them fondly, for they have brought much laughter to the world. humming softly again, she creates a soft blanket out of air and lays it on the pair, so fair... she giggles and bestow upon them a chaste kiss on the cheek.*

Good night, boys. You have earned your rest this day, for who else can say they have truly seen Elvis this day?

*she walks back to the castle, smiling*

*she walks quickly with a dazed, dreamy expression on her face... and she stumbles over a sleeping couple...*
what the hell? can't they get a room?

*as she rises from the ground she notices an interesting rock. she sits and comtemplate the rock... and time rolls by*



OOC:
Ok, down to business - TCG u got TG

The Wicked Script Keeper
- pharmacist extraordinaire to the Rebels... hands out meds whether you like or not... beware both the red and blue pills...

*sets the table on fire*

*she walks quickly with a dazed, dreamy expression on her face... and she stumbles over a sleeping couple...*
what the hell? can't they get a room?

*as she rises from the ground she notices an interesting rock. she sits and comtemplate the rock... and time rolls by*



OOC:
Ok, down to business - TCG u got TG

The Wicked Script Keeper
- pharmacist extraordinaire to the Rebels... hands out meds whether you like or not... beware both the red and blue pills...


*carves "Peech welcomed me to the kazoo and then bought some pills off me" on her forehead to show her affections*

welcome

*sets the table on fire*


my oatmeal was on that table........thanks......it was gross anyway

my oatmeal was on that table........thanks......it was gross anyway
Everything has to burn

*puts fire to the chandelier*

Everything has to burn

*puts fire to the chandelier*


wait! not my chaps!

wait! not my chaps!
Too late

*burns chaps*

*she walks quickly with a dazed, dreamy expression on her face... and she stumbles over a sleeping couple...*
what the hell? can't they get a room?

*as she rises from the ground she notices an interesting rock. she sits and comtemplate the rock... and time rolls by*



OOC:
Ok, down to business - TCG u got TG

The Wicked Script Keeper
- pharmacist extraordinaire to the Rebels... hands out meds whether you like or not... beware both the red and blue pills...


*a red and blue pill begin speaking*
i want one of each!
*pills melt into each other and out of strange occurance pops ..... me!*
so how bout those pills?


@ peech
*stories her*
*stories her again*
*ravages her*
*stories again*
*stories one more time*

morning hunnah

Everything has to burn

*puts fire to the chandelier*


by everything you mean ummm you?

Too late

*burns chaps*


well now what the heck am i gonna wear?

well now what the heck am i gonna wear?
me?

*a red and blue pill begin speaking*
i want one of each!
*pills melt into each other and out of strange occurance pops ..... me!*
so how bout those pills?


@ peech
*stories her*
*stories her again*
*ravages her*
*stories again*
*stories one more time*

morning hunnah

mornin sugar......youre in an awfully storyful mood this morning ;)

mornin sugar......youre in an awfully storyful mood this morning ;)
you deserve it princess *bows kissing her*
*tackles her*
*stories her again*

me?


i dunno if youd fit.......i think you might be too big for me.

i dunno if youd fit.......i think you might be too big for me.
no worries love i'm irish ;)

*burns Choq*

no worries love i'm irish ;)


ive seen you...........yer a big feller.......if i wore you.....i'd look like i was wearing a bearskin rug ..........or something else thats big like that.

*burns Choq*
im on fire!
*touches peech*
im on fire with the lady!
*dances round in burning circle*
*realizes he's on fire*
*screams and jumps into the moat dragging peech with him*

im on fire!
*touches peech*
im on fire with the lady!
*dances round in burning circle*
*realizes he's on fire*
*screams and jumps into the moat dragging peech with him*


oh...damni-*goes under water*



look what youve done! now im all wet. and these baracudas are approaching at an awfully fast rate of speed.

*throws choq over her shoulder and carries him out*

oh...damni-*goes under water*



look what youve done! now im all wet. and these baracudas are approaching at an awfully fast rate of speed.

*throws choq over her shoulder and carries him out*
its fun making girls wet?
thanks for saving me mistress peech. how can i ever repay you? *bats eyes*

its fun making girls wet?
thanks for saving me mistress peech. how can i ever repay you? *bats eyes*


I'll take the usual.

I'll take the usual.
*stories her again*

all better love?

*she walks into the main room, wearing her whip and a great big smile*

Hello castlemates

*she goes to Peech and ravishes her quite thoroughly, leaving them both breathless*

*burns the pile of pillows*

*she walks into the main room, wearing her whip and a great big smile*

Hello castlemates

*she goes to Peech and ravishes her quite thoroughly, leaving them both breathless*


*pants after that wicked sweet kiss*

be careful..........LP is in a pyro mood. Hes burned all my assless chaps and now im wearing his old pants .......back when he had legs

*burns the pile of pillows*

What the frigging hell is wrong with you, pyro man?

*shrugs*
Oh well, i don't care, i can conjure up some more at will...
How about you start a big bonfire and we burn peasants... virgin girls
*wicked laugh*

*pants after that wicked sweet kiss*

be careful..........LP is in a pyro mood. Hes burned all my assless chaps and now im wearing his old pants .......back when he had legs


Well, i have a pair of scissors you can use to... aerate those pants of his...
Nice ass, btw.
*slaps her ass*

What the frigging hell is wrong with you, pyro man?

*shrugs*
Oh well, i don't care, i can conjure up some more at will...
How about you start a big bonfire and we burn peasants... virgin girls
*wicked laugh*
As long as it burns.... everything has got to burn!

*throws all burning stuff on a big pile, flames reaching the high ceiling*

As long as it burns.... everything has got to burn!

*throws all burning stuff on a big pile, flames reaching the high ceiling*


Err... maybe we should be taking this outside, dear?
We don't want the castle to burn, do we?

Err... maybe we should be taking this outside, dear?
We don't want the castle to burn, do we?
Everything has got to burn! BUUUURRN!

*throws the hearth on the fire*

Everything has got to burn! BUUUURRN!

*throws the hearth on the fire*


*hoses LP down with icey cold water from the garden hose*

there you go.....now go make me a sandwich

*warms up at the fire*

*burns the hose*

Burn!

*Jocabia's spirit appears in the castle. Whistles.*

Man, I feel like my body is going to be resting forever. *Plants an ethereal kiss on Peech.*

Get ready for a new pair of panties, my warrior.

*Jocabia disappears into a mist.*

*Jocabia's spirit appears in the castle. Whistles.*

Man, I feel like my body is going to be resting forever. *Plants an ethereal kiss on Peech.*

Get ready for a new pair of panties, my warrior.

*Jocabia disappears into a mist.*


did you guys hear that? *looks around*

*touches her lips*

i felt........something.

did i forget to take my meds again?

*burns new panties*

*laughs maniacally*

*burns new panties*

*laughs maniacally*

*stories peech*

*molests LP*

*pokes joc with special stick*

*stories peech*

*molests LP*

*pokes joc with special stick*
*burns the stick*

Burn! Everything! Up in ashes!

*burns the stick*

Burn! Everything! Up in ashes!
*puts on fire proof suit* please no!

*puts on fire proof suit* please no!
*burns the zipper from the suit*

BUUUUURN!

*burns the zipper from the suit*

BUUUUURN!

*bundles lp into small little room with non flammable materials*

muahahahahahahahahaha!

*bundles lp into small little room with non flammable materials*

muahahahahahahahahaha!
*opens the door and goes back to the fire*

*burns the little room*

Well, it is getting hot in here...
*wipes sweat from her brow, her body glistening in the light*

Well, it is getting hot in here...
*wipes sweat from her brow, her body glistening in the light*


and here i thought it was just us

and here i thought it was just us

*wicked chuckle*
It always is, my lover...

Hot! Everything needs to be hot! Burning hot!

*burns the moat*

*a young boy sits on a rock looking at a pile of bone chips. The chips belong to Jocabia and Tribes, and are bleached white from the sun. The two have been dead for three days and the boy, a bard, mourns there loss and the loss of their tales that he often sang to village children. He strums his guitar gently and begins to sing.*

Let me tell you of the tale of Jocabia and Tribes,
Who assaulted one another with midgets and bribes,
They suffered much damage to the painful nutsack,
As that seemed to be their favorite place of attack.

*As the bard sang, the bones began to bounce around.*

Oh, The Tribes of Longton and A man they called Joc,
Disappeared when eaten by a rather disgusting bloke,
So come here the tales Jocabia and Tribes,
And their vicious attacks and hurtful jibes.

*Suddenly the bones began to grow and full skeletons began to reform. The bard looked on in horror before running away in abject terror. Slowly tendons and arteries began to form around the bones. Fat and muscle became apparent and slowly skin began to form and close up around the new bodies. Eventually, The Tribes of Longton and Jocabia are whole and sitting on the ground sputtering and coughing. Jocabia took a little longer to form than Tribes because of the size of his neck.*

Jocabia: That was improbable.
Tribes: Tell me about it.
Jocabia: Man, being resurrected is tiring. I'm glad I don't have to do that very often.
Tribes: No shi- *rocks rain down upon Tribes and Jocabia.*
Jocabia: Dude, no more swearing. Mod rocks are back and I'm too tired for this sh... shtuff.
*the two lean back against the rock the bard was singing on. After a short time, the two are snoring loudly.*
*Joc and Tribes, some time later, are still asleep. In their sleep, the two souls depart their bodies (a trick they picked up in a waiting room in heaven, although they don't know that) and wander the landscape for a while. As these ethereal beings, the pair float through the area assesing everything and act friendly. Tribes finds the bard and tries to engulf him for his heinous crimes against rhyming, while Joc searches for their hybrid beast of pure evil - Steve. They find their targets and, by entering their bodies through a certain orephice, wake up their physical forms very quickly. Tribes looks at Joc, holding his <blanked by the mods. For fun. Guess what he's holding> and wincing*

Dude, what happened? I was dreaming about some dude cowering in a bush...

*looks closely at Joc*

Wait, we're racing aren't we?

*looks again* Oh my God you aren't Joc! You're Steve!!

*kicks Joc/Steve in the bulbous, baby-poo like gut and runs off*

*runs back*

I do apolagise. I kicked you...*kicks the crumpled Joc/Steve in the disgustingly malformed nadgers*...in the wrong place. Byee! *runs off*

*burns Jocs nadgers..... whatever they are*

*burns Jocs nadgers..... whatever they are*

your arms aren't that long.

your arms aren't that long.
:rolleyes:

*brings the fire to the nadgers*

*hearing their spirits stir, she knows the race is about to begin, so she goes to the window, chocolate popcorn in hand, sits to watch their epic struggle*

*Joc and Tribes, some time later, are still asleep. In their sleep, the two souls depart their bodies (a trick they picked up in a waiting room in heaven, although they don't know that) and wander the landscape for a while. As these ethereal beings, the pair float through the area assesing everything and act friendly. Tribes finds the bard and tries to engulf him for his heinous crimes against rhyming, while Joc searches for their hybrid beast of pure evil - Steve. They find their targets and, by entering their bodies through a certain orephice, wake up their physical forms very quickly. Tribes looks at Joc, holding his <blanked by the mods. For fun. Guess what he's holding> and wincing*

Dude, what happened? I was dreaming about some dude cowering in a bush...

*looks closely at Joc*

Wait, we're racing aren't we?

*looks again* Oh my God you aren't Joc! You're Steve!!

*kicks Joc/Steve in the bulbous, baby-poo like gut and runs off*

*runs back*

I do apolagise. I kicked you...*kicks the crumpled Joc/Steve in the disgustingly malformed nadgers*...in the wrong place. Byee! *runs off*

*Joc/Steve runs to a bar and steals a Sam Adams (he tried to pay for it, but nobody wanted to touch his money). He runs back to Jocabia and TTOL's sleeping forms. Steve straddles TTOL and drinks the Sam Adams causing his form to lose consistency and start to degrade. He begins to melt into a pile of goop covering Tribes. Then Jocabia's spirit quickly leaves the dying Steve and jumps back into his own body. Waking up from the stench, Jocabia jumps up feeling well-rested and completely refreshed.*

Thank Goddess.

*Jocabia races in the direction of the castle. After about an hour he overtakes the bard/Tribes, who can't run very fast since he's just a boy. He trips the boy and sits on his tiny form. Pulling a nearby blade of grass up and putting into the boy's nose as a form of torture.*

Well, you'd be making great progress if not for the fact that you have to cross the finish line in your own body. Plus, this bard isn't old enough to drink Guinness in order to win. Must be fun to be so far behind.

*Jocabia picks up a stick and pins the bard's nutsack to the ground for good measure. Off Jocabia runs towards the castle, leaving the bard far behind whimpering in TTOL's voice.*

*is currently too lazy to read large slabs of text*

*with trumpets blaring and flags waving, a group of jugglers and acrobats pass by*

*while everybody is distracted by the cliché outside the odd one slides into the room and deposits himself on a bean-bag in the corner*

good afternoon

*burns the cliché*

*burns the cliché*

*Is too tired to pretend like LP isn't just trying to keep up his post count.*

*Joc/Steve runs to a bar and steals a Sam Adams (he tried to pay for it, but nobody wanted to touch his money). He runs back to Jocabia and TTOL's sleeping forms. Steve straddles TTOL and drinks the Sam Adams causing his form to lose consistency and start to degrade. He begins to melt into a pile of goop covering Tribes. Then Jocabia's spirit quickly leaves the dying Steve and jumps back into his own body. Waking up from the stench, Jocabia jumps up feeling well-rested and completely refreshed.*

Thank Goddess.

*Jocabia races in the direction of the castle. After about an hour he overtakes the bard/Tribes, who can't run very fast since he's just a boy. He trips the boy and sits on his tiny form. Pulling a nearby blade of grass up and putting into the boy's nose as a form of torture.*

Well, you'd be making great progress if not for the fact that you have to cross the finish line in your own body. Plus, this bard isn't old enough to drink Guinness in order to win. Must be fun to be so far behind.

*Jocabia picks up a stick and pins the bard's nutsack to the ground for good measure. Off Jocabia runs towards the castle, leaving the bard far behind whimpering in TTOL's voice.*
*tribes considers his predicament. His logic goes thus: I have inhabited this boy's body, therefore it is not mine to destroy. However, the little shit couldn't sing for anything, so by hacking his balls off maybe he'll have to get better and become a castrati or something. I'd be doing him a favour - the kid could go around, singing as the only castrati in the world. If people complain about the talentless bollocks spewing from his mouth, he can just say 'it's the style' and get paid even more! After considering this for all of 5 seconds, tribes bludgeons the kid's nuts off with a lute. Unfortunately, tribes has full nervous feeling over this, so he weeps almost constantly until the offending part is removed.

Once the nuts are free, tribes takes the young boy back to his own body and sees the vile excrement surrounding and covering it. Maybe life as a castrati wouldn't be so bad....

However, tribes thinks of the the honour and the prize (especially the prize..oh that sweet prize) and descends into his own body. His first conscious thought is "home" swiftly followed by "vomit. Now" which he quickly does. He then jumps into a nearby stream and sets off upstream, using the current to cleanse himself (although he keeps a lump for...later purposes). As clean as he can get, tribes runs after Joc, following the 'muddy' footprints (depending on your definition of 'mud') all the way to Joc. It's a long haul, but he must do it...*

*with trumpets blaring and flags waving, a group of jugglers and acrobats pass by*

*while everybody is distracted by the cliché outside the odd one slides into the room and deposits himself on a bean-bag in the corner*

good afternoon

*she barely gives him a glance, before turning her eyes once again on the race*

Hi...

*tribes considers his predicament. His logic goes thus: I have inhabited this boy's body, therefore it is not mine to destroy. However, the little shit couldn't sing for anything, so by hacking his balls off maybe he'll have to get better and become a castrati or something. I'd be doing him a favour - the kid could go around, singing as the only castrati in the world. If people complain about the talentless bollocks spewing from his mouth, he can just say 'it's the style' and get paid even more! After considering this for all of 5 seconds, tribes bludgeons the kid's nuts off with a lute. Unfortunately, tribes has full nervous feeling over this, so he weeps almost constantly until the offending part is removed.

Once the nuts are free, tribes takes the young boy back to his own body and sees the vile excrement surrounding and covering it. Maybe life as a castrati wouldn't be so bad....

However, tribes thinks of the the honour and the prize (especially the prize..oh that sweet prize) and descends into his own body. His first conscious thought is "home" swiftly followed by "vomit. Now" which he quickly does. He then jumps into a nearby stream and sets off upstream, using the current to cleanse himself (although he keeps a lump for...later purposes). As clean as he can get, tribes runs after Joc, following the 'muddy' footprints (depending on your definition of 'mud') all the way to Joc. It's a long haul, but he must do it...*

*Jocabia giggles to himself at the predicament he left the ailing Tribes/Bard in. Oh, man, is he ever gonna be mad when he catches up with me. Jocabia looks back to see if TTOL is catching up yet. He's not. In his distraction, his bare foot catches a rock stubbing his baby toe which we all know hurts more than childbirth (shut up, I asked my sister).*

Goddess damn- *Suddenly DVDs of XXX are showered upon Jocabia by the mods. Jocabia gets an idea and collects up the DVDs.*

Damn your tastes, Mods!! *More DVDs of bad movies shower down and Jocabia collects them all.*

*Just then he smells something.*

Did someone fart? *He looks back to see a befouled Tribes running up.*

*Jocabia sets his plan into action. First he offers Tribes a chair in which to rest his now weary bones. He takes the chair even thanking Jocabia for the gesture. Upon sitting, metal straps pop up and hold TTOL's neck, arms, waist and legs in place. Jocabia places toothpicks in Tribes' eyelids to hold them open but is kind enough to give Tribes eyedrops the last for several hours. He then sets up a projector, full surround sound, a multi-disc DVD-player and a screen. He places all of the terrible movies the mods picked in the DVD player and puts it on continuous play. Tribes is engulfed in the sound of Vin Deisel's voice and bad acting as XXX begins to play.*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *Tribes screams, but no one can hear him over the sound of Vin Deisel trying to be campy.*

*Jocabia runs away like a man possessed driven to move even faster by the fact that he has to hear the movie for nearly the first hour. Jocabia almost feels bad for being so cruel but continues to the castle. That'll teach him for kicking me in the nuts, Jocabia thinks.*

*<snip>
Goddess damn- *Suddenly DVDs of XXX are showered upon Jocabia by the mods. Jocabia gets an idea and collects up the DVDs.*

<snip>

*her eyes grow flinty*
using my name in vain, are we? That will cost you, Sir Joc... indeed it will

*Jocabia giggles to himself at the predicament he left the ailing Tribes/Bard in. Oh, man, is he ever gonna be mad when he catches up with me. Jocabia looks back to see if TTOL is catching up yet. He's not. In his distraction, his bare foot catches a rock stubbing his baby toe which we all know hurts more than childbirth (shut up, I asked my sister).*

Goddess damn- *Suddenly DVDs of XXX are showered upon Jocabia by the mods. Jocabia gets an idea and collects up the DVDs.*

Damn your tastes, Mods!! *More DVDs of bad movies shower down and Jocabia collects them all.*

*Just then he smells something.*

Did someone fart? *He looks back to see a befouled Tribes running up.*

*Jocabia sets his plan into action. First he offers Tribes a chair in which to rest his now weary bones. He takes the chair even thanking Jocabia for the gesture. Upon sitting, metal straps pop up and hold TTOL's neck, arms, waist and legs in place. Jocabia places toothpicks in Tribes' eyelids to hold them open but is kind enough to give Tribes eyedrops the last for several hours. He then sets up a projector, full surround sound, a multi-disc DVD-player and a screen. He places all of the terrible movies the mods picked in the DVD player and puts it on continuous play. Tribes is engulfed in the sound of Vin Deisel's voice and bad acting as XXX begins to play.*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *Tribes screams, but no one can hear him over the sound of Vin Deisel trying to be campy.*

*Jocabia runs away like a man possessed driven to move even faster by the fact that he has to hear the movie for nearly the first hour. Jocabia almost feels bad for being so cruel but continues to the castle. That'll teach him for kicking me in the nuts, Jocabia thinks.*
*fighting for his life against the murderously bad film, tribes struggles in the metal straps. They are 3/4" steel so brute strength will not quite do it. Tribes struggles as the film reaches its awful climax. The DVD player is also suffering the effects, attempting to blow itself up rather than play another minute of Vin Diesel. Just then, tribes has an idea. Having concealed a lump of "Steve" in his armpit, he lifts his arm as far as he can without breaking it. This reveals a small section of of his armpit and a bit of steve slides out onto the metal, instantly corroding it. Tribes has become immune to the effects; having been smeared and engulfed by steve once before, his body was rebuilt with the necessary auto-immune response. Steve's Zagnut/Bud flesh corrodes metal but leaves tribes unscathed, if a little smelly. His one arm free, he reaches the control...and waits...and has an idea. Getting free of the chair, tribes places a lump of steve on the near-exploding DVD player. He then hides and muffles his ears. The DVD player finally overcomes the tolerance level and explodes, firing electronics and a lump of that filthy excrement all over. The lump of steve lifts off too. It sails into the atmosphere and - sometime later - slaps Joc on the back of the head, knowcking him out in a ball of putrid filth. Tribes sets off after Joc and finds him lying in a puddle of filth, unconscious. Then he has an idea...

...Joc wakes up in a tree with a giant rubber band around his ass, Just as tribes pulls the lever hat releases the rubber band. Joc is aimed at a wall. He quickly guesses at the final result before experiencing it first hand*

No-one makes me watch XXX more than once. Not after the first time.

*tribes sets off to the castle, which is nearer every minute*

edit: nvm...I did claim it. Yay!

*claims post #666*

*dances*

*passes out evil cookies*

too many long posts, :headbang:
how do you expect me to read all this?
*falls asleep*

too many long posts, :headbang:
how do you expect me to read all this?
*falls asleep*



you must have ADD like me.

*sits on odd and has lunch while he sleeps*

edit: nvm...I did claim it. Yay!

*claims post #666*

*dances*

*passes out evil cookies*


yay for evil cookies!!!

now i really want cookies.


damnable power of suggestion!

yay for evil cookies!!!

now i really want cookies.


damnable power of suggestion!

I could really go for triple chocolate chunks cookies right about now...

I could really go for triple chocolate chunks cookies right about now...


*droooool*

I could really go for triple chocolate chunks cookies right about now...
OOC: I could go for some chocolatified peeches now...

*fighting for his life against the murderously bad film, tribes struggles in the metal straps. They are 3/4" steel so brute strength will not quite do it. Tribes struggles as the film reaches its awful climax. The DVD player is also suffering the effects, attempting to blow itself up rather than play another minute of Vin Diesel. Just then, tribes has an idea. Having concealed a lump of "Steve" in his armpit, he lifts his arm as far as he can without breaking it. This reveals a small section of of his armpit and a bit of steve slides out onto the metal, instantly corroding it. Tribes has become immune to the effects; having been smeared and engulfed by steve once before, his body was rebuilt with the necessary auto-immune response. Steve's Zagnut/Bud flesh corrodes metal but leaves tribes unscathed, if a little smelly. His one arm free, he reaches the control...and waits...and has an idea. Getting free of the chair, tribes places a lump of steve on the near-exploding DVD player. He then hides and muffles his ears. The DVD player finally overcomes the tolerance level and explodes, firing electronics and a lump of that filthy excrement all over. The lump of steve lifts off too. It sails into the atmosphere and - sometime later - slaps Joc on the back of the head, knowcking him out in a ball of putrid filth. Tribes sets off after Joc and finds him lying in a puddle of filth, unconscious. Then he has an idea...

...Joc wakes up in a tree with a giant rubber band around his ass, Just as tribes pulls the lever hat releases the rubber band. Joc is aimed at a wall. He quickly guesses at the final result before experiencing it first hand*

No-one makes me watch XXX more than once. Not after the first time.

*tribes sets off to the castle, which is nearer every minute*

*Jocabia is once again confronted by Elvis.*
E: Seriously, quit killing each other. I get tired of resurrecting you. Look, I'll tell you what. I'll make you a bit more resillient this time. Now, go win that race, because no one, and I mean no one, wants TCG to start wearing panties.
J: Done and done.

*Elvis kicks Jocabia in his ethereal balls, making him disappear.*

*Jocabia wakes up feeling even better and more alive than the last time.*

Boy, oh, boy, am I ever far behind. *Jocabia sits down to think when out of blind luck a young peasant pulls up in a sports car. Jocabia smiles at her and she throws her panties at him and then offers him a ride. Together they race towards Tribes.*

*They pass Tribes several hours later, literally leaving him in the dust.*

You are not bepantying my dearest Goddess, assclown. *The mod rocks miss the car by a fair sight and several of them batter the already losing Tribes.*

*Jocabia sees the castle looming in the distance. He slows the car down (the peasant took the passenger seat since we all know women can't drive. Plus how would she service Jocabia and drive at the same time, huh? Tell me that!). He thanks the peasant girl for the ride by slaying her in tribute to the Goddess and then sets another plan into action.*

*He places two cases of Newcastle in a cooler that keeps just above freezing. Fortunately he found a nearby outlet to plug the freezer into, all the while thinking how improbable it was for an outlet to be in the middle of the desert.*

*Next he sets up a buffet with Peasant stew, turkey, mashed potatoes with a little sour cream and cheese mixed in, stuffing, creamed spinach, sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top, swedish meatballs, asparagus in a sweet teriyaki sauce, pork medallions, sour kraut, black-eyed peas, neck bones, potato pancakes, shrimp fried rice, and those little cocktail weiners that resemble a certain part of TTOL's anatomy.*

Ha, he can't resist this. *Jocabia begins to feel hungry and a little parched and absent-mindedly opens a Newcastle and begins to munch on the potato pancakes, again falling into his own trap.*

Damn, my stupidiousiness. *Mod ice comes raining down and cools Jocabia's stew just enough to eat.*

Thanks, guys!

I could really go for triple chocolate chunks cookies right about now...

*Triple Chocolate Chunk cookies appear before TCG. She wonders who sent them. There is no evidence to lead her to from whence they came.*

you must have ADD like me.

*sits on odd and has lunch while he sleeps*
*wakes up*
now, thats the right kinda view to wake up to. ;)

OOC: I could go for some chocolatified peeches now...


you know ..........if Tribes were here....I bet he could go for some chocolatified peeches now.

*has some chocolate in his honor*

*wakes up*
now, thats the right kinda view to wake up to. ;)


still sitting on him......

where have you been? we've been wondering what happened to you. please tell me you have cookies in your pocket or somthing.

*Wakes up and looks around. Yawns widely and dismisses servant girl, smiles sleepily as she walks away*

Morning...

*Looks at watch*

Crud. Evening. Whos for waffles?

*Wakes up and looks around. Yawns widely and dismisses servant girl, smiles sleepily as she walks away*

Morning...

*Looks at watch*

Crud. Evening. Whos for waffles?



meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*kisses 87 *

*Jocabia is once again confronted by Elvis.*
E: Seriously, quit killing each other. I get tired of resurrecting you. Look, I'll tell you what. I'll make you a bit more resillient this time. Now, go win that race, because no one, and I mean no one, wants TCG to start wearing panties.
J: Done and done.

*Elvis kicks Jocabia in his ethereal balls, making him disappear.*

*Jocabia wakes up feeling even better and more alive than the last time.*

Boy, oh, boy, am I ever far behind. *Jocabia sits down to think when out of blind luck a young peasant pulls up in a sports car. Jocabia smiles at her and she throws her panties at him and then offers him a ride. Together they race towards Tribes.*

*They pass Tribes several hours later, literally leaving him in the dust.*

You are not bepantying my dearest Goddess, assclown. *The mod rocks miss the car by a fair sight and several of them batter the already losing Tribes.*

*Jocabia sees the castle looming in the distance. He slows the car down (the peasant took the passenger seat since we all know women can't drive. Plus how would she service Jocabia and drive at the same time, huh? Tell me that!). He thanks the peasant girl for the ride by slaying her in tribute to the Goddess and then sets another plan into action.*

*He places two cases of Newcastle in a cooler that keeps just above freezing. Fortunately he found a nearby outlet to plug the freezer into, all the while thinking how improbable it was for an outlet to be in the middle of the desert.*

*Next he sets up a buffet with Peasant stew, turkey, mashed potatoes with a little sour cream and cheese mixed in, stuffing, creamed spinach, sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top, swedish meatballs, asparagus in a sweet teriyaki sauce, pork medallions, sour kraut, black-eyed peas, neck bones, potato pancakes, shrimp fried rice, and those little cocktail weiners that resemble a certain part of TTOL's anatomy.*

Ha, he can't resist this. *Jocabia begins to feel hungry and a little parched and absent-mindedly opens a Newcastle and begins to munch on the potato pancakes, again falling into his own trap.*

Damn, my stupidiousiness. *Mod ice comes raining down and cools Jocabia's stew just enough to eat.*

Thanks, guys!
*tribes watches a Joc screams past in his acquired sportscar, cursing this new form of high class peasant. He'll have to get opressive on their asses when he gets back. In the meantime, tribes weighs up the options. He decides he is far too far behind Joc to catch up in time on foot (unless Joc has come up with some hairbrained scheme, but no intelligent being would possibly do that) and sets about coming up with a plan to speed up. Just then, a mammoth passes. In a fit of impotent anger, tribes strikes down the mammoth (which should be extinct, but whaddya know now it is) and skins it. He then smashes up a nearby tree into pole-sized bits of wood, which land on the strangely V-shaped mammoth skin. The tree was a gum tree, so the sap sticks the wood to the skin, forming an excellent hanglider. Then tribes has an idea.

He takes the hanglider and cuts it up into lots of kites. He then realises it would have been better as a hanglider and curses, causing a tirade of pirate DVDs of Vin Diesels latest film to pelt him. Tribes stores these films and creates a wooden skateboard again (he's getting the knack now). Using mammoth gut as string, he hooks up the kites to his belt and stands on the board, letting the wind carry him forwards at tremendous speed. He will soon catch Joc, or so he thinks. Just then, tribes passes a table of half eaten food. Hungry after 3 days travelling with no food but bar nuts (taste the urine!), he stops and surveys the food*

My God, those cocktail wieners look exactly like my little finger! I must eat!

*tribes gorges on the food, silently cursing himself for this indulgence - it may cost him the race. However, as he looks down the table (there's a lot of food so it's a loooong table) he sees the outline of Joc, munching on the food. Taking a cocktail wiener on a stick, tribes hurls it down the table, catching Joc in the mouth and wedging his jaw open. As joc struggles with the tiny bit of wood, tribes sprints down to Joc and proceeds to forcefeed him as much as he can. Joc splutters and suffers, eventually just backing up with food. Joc, now weighed down with food, can no longer move. Tribes simply sets up a DVD player (picked from the DVD tree, famous in these 'ere parts) and forces Joc to watch Vin Diesel's latest "masterpiece" about an army officer protecting some kids, with hilarious consequences. Tribes waits until Joc is weeping for mercy, then leaves for the castle*

*Kisses Peech*

*Then gets up, holding pillow strategically, but it sways, and moves to kitchen to start on waffle-making*

you know ..........if Tribes were here....I bet he could go for some chocolatified peeches now.

*has some chocolate in his honor*
OOC: When I get back to the castle...boy oh boy have I got some catching up to do... ;) :fluffle: :p

*Triple Chocolate Chunk cookies appear before TCG. She wonders who sent them. There is no evidence to lead her to from whence they came.*

*munches on them happily, still avidly watching the race, and planning for something utterly evil for Joc*

OOC: When I get back to the castle...boy oh boy have I got some catching up to do... ;) :fluffle: :p


OOC: youre damn right you do........god hurry up I am having Tribes withdrawls. :fluffle:

still sitting on him......

where have you been? we've been wondering what happened to you. please tell me you have cookies in your pocket or somthing.
I'm ducking out periodically to read comics elsewhere on the net.
and i have no food
*remembers his title*
i'll just go to the garden and get some stuff to eat, anybody want anything while I'm there?

I'm ducking out periodically to read comics elsewhere on the net.
and i have no food
*remembers his title*
i'll just go to the garden and get some stuff to eat, anybody want anything while I'm there?


comics? *pins him to the wall with a dagger*

*french kisses him for 35 minutes*


you are missing this to read comics?

*kisses him some more til he turns to goo*

comics? *pins him to the wall with a dagger*

*french kisses him for 35 minutes*


you are missing this to read comics?

*kisses him some more til he turns to goo*
*writes down strategy for future use*

*solidifies and kisses back*

*tribes watches a Joc screams past in his acquired sportscar, cursing this new form of high class peasant. He'll have to get opressive on their asses when he gets back. In the meantime, tribes weighs up the options. He decides he is far too far behind Joc to catch up in time on foot (unless Joc has come up with some hairbrained scheme, but no intelligent being would possibly do that) and sets about coming up with a plan to speed up. Just then, a mammoth passes. In a fit of impotent anger, tribes strikes down the mammoth (which should be extinct, but whaddya know now it is) and skins it. He then smashes up a nearby tree into pole-sized bits of wood, which land on the strangely V-shaped mammoth skin. The tree was a gum tree, so the sap sticks the wood to the skin, forming an excellent hanglider. Then tribes has an idea.

He takes the hanglider and cuts it up into lots of kites. He then realises it would have been better as a hanglider and curses, causing a tirade of pirate DVDs of Vin Diesels latest film to pelt him. Tribes stores these films and creates a wooden skateboard again (he's getting the knack now). Using mammoth gut as string, he hooks up the kites to his belt and stands on the board, letting the wind carry him forwards at tremendous speed. He will soon catch Joc, or so he thinks. Just then, tribes passes a table of half eaten food. Hungry after 3 days travelling with no food but bar nuts (taste the urine!), he stops and surveys the food*

My God, those cocktail wieners look exactly like my little finger! I must eat!

*tribes gorges on the food, silently cursing himself for this indulgence - it may cost him the race. However, as he looks down the table (there's a lot of food so it's a loooong table) he sees the outline of Joc, munching on the food. Taking a cocktail wiener on a stick, tribes hurls it down the table, catching Joc in the mouth and wedging his jaw open. As joc struggles with the tiny bit of wood, tribes sprints down to Joc and proceeds to forcefeed him as much as he can. Joc splutters and suffers, eventually just backing up with food. Joc, now weighed down with food, can no longer move. Tribes simply sets up a DVD player (picked from the DVD tree, famous in these 'ere parts) and forces Joc to watch Vin Diesel's latest "masterpiece" about an army officer protecting some kids, with hilarious consequences. Tribes waits until Joc is weeping for mercy, then leaves for the castle*

*Jocabia with his new resilliencecociousosity (thank you, Elvis), digests enough of the food to move to the sports car and step on it. He quickly passes Tribes and sets another trap for him. He quickly digs a hole. Next to it he places a roll of toilet paper and a jar of honey. He plants a tree nearby that will work perfectly for this well-thought-out trap. He then races off toward the castle.*

*Jocabia reaches the castle gates and steps inside. Tribes can't possible catch me now, he thinks.*

*seeing the race coming to its conclusion, she rushes to the castle outer wall and runs the flight of stairs up to the parapet. a better vantage point for the grand finale*

*brings 87 and odd with her, both on a leash....joins Goddess on the terrace to watch the events*




ooc: i am laughing so much at tribes and joc that i have to hide my face behind my computer and make worky sounds to hide the laughter. its too much.......i cant stand it. :fluffle:

well I'm going home now.
see you all on thursday.

*brings 87 and odd with her, both on a leash....joins Goddess on the terrace to watch the events*




ooc: i am laughing so much at tribes and joc that i have to hide my face behind my computer and make worky sounds to hide the laughter. its too much.......i cant stand it. :fluffle:

I know...*giggles*

well I'm going home now.
see you all on thursday.

*frenchkiss thoroughly*

Beu bye luv...

*Tugs on leash and nuzzles against Peech, licking her leg*

I like the collar...

*Tugs on leash and nuzzles against Peech, licking her leg*

I like the collar...

*pets him on the head and licks his face*
That's such a good boy...
*she looks at Peech*
One got away... *sigh*

*she turns to watch the race again*

*Tugs on leash and nuzzles against Peech, licking her leg*

I like the collar...


it looks good on you........*licks collar*

*Jocabia with his new resilliencecociousosity (thank you, Elvis), digests enough of the food to move to the sports car and step on it. He quickly passes Tribes and sets another trap for him. He quickly digs a hole. Next to it he places a roll of toilet paper and a jar of honey. He plants a tree nearby that will work perfectly for this well-thought-out trap. He then races off toward the castle.*

*Jocabia reaches the castle gates and steps inside. Tribes can't possible catch me now, he thinks.*
*tribes is knocked down by the flying gravel kicked out by the speeding sportscar. Pissed that he didn't consider slashing the sportscar's tyres, he picks up his kites and skateboards and continues on, picking the stones out of his teeth as he goes. The wind picks up in this time, and tribes is soon catching up to Jocabia as he sets the trap.

The trap truly is ingenious. Joc planted a willow tree with a beehive in its branches. The willow, famed for its springiness, has been bent down to the ground and tied by several loops of toilet paper wrapped between a branch and a root of the tree. This stores an incredible amount of energy in the tree. The truly clever bit occurs now. Joc, aware that tribes would see a fire burning through a rope, has coated the toilet paper in honey. The bees, naturally attracted to this sweet substance (of their own production), swarm around the honey. As the bees work their way through the honey, the accidentally eat through the toilet paper. The amount of toilet paper is worked out exactly to release the tree - just as tribes gets close - once a certain amount of t-p has been removed. The rest of the honey is smeared on the ground in front of a deep hole.

Tribes arrives at the trap just as the bees eat through the paper, setting the trap in motion. The tree is released as the paper disintegrates, causing it to swing upright like a folded spring. This force leads to the beehive being released from the branches, firing it at tribes. By exact calculation (OK, rough guesstimating, but who was to know?) the beehive hits tribes on the head, collapsing as it hits and enveloping his head in the beehive. Understandably, the bees inside are none too pleased by their visitor and his disregard for their property. The bees inside the beehive sting his face and some of the bees outside sting...everywhere else. Tribes, racked with pain, tries to remove the beehive whilst simultaneously running from the bees. The net result is a lunatic with a beehive on his head running about randomly and waving his arms at said beehive whilst clinging to a mammothskin kite. He happens to run onto the patch of honey. A combination of slippery bees and even more slippery honey underfoot leads to tribes falling all over the place. Eventually he rises for the last time before slipping forwards - directly into the deep hole.

Fortunately, he cracks his head on the edge of the hole and he beehive is removed. Unfortunately, the bees don't give a damn. Tribes, covered in stings and deep in a hole, ponders his predicament. Then has an idea*

Ass-hat! Bollocks! Arseface! Knob-jockey!

*mod stones rain down on the hole, searching for their blue-mouthed friend. On the way down they crush bees, and as they enter the hole they gradually fill it. Tribes, lucky enough to have kept hold of one kite, directs the stones to the ground. The stones eventualy fill to a point where tribes can climb out. As he exits, any bystander would testify that tribes actually thanked the mods. However, these 'bystanders' would have undoubtedly met untimely deaths, possibly involving a pound of butter, a bicycle pump, several balloons, a pound of bicarbonate of soda and a litre of vinegar. They then would have 'ceased to exist' with no-one being able to ascertain their sum whereabouts. Not that this happened. Three times. ¬_¬

Tribes, remembering something about bee-stings, uses some bicarbonate he just happened to have (and is definitely not a signature method of torture only used by tribes, no-siree, especially not when combined with the vinegar he carries) and tweezers to reduce the beestings. Some time later he makes for the castle, completely naked and on foot. He will eventually catch Jocabia, who is still weighed down by his forced meal. For now though tribes sprints across the country side - scarred on his face, cut on his body, swollen around the gonad area and stung all over*

*Thinks that being a pet is rather fun*

Hey TCG, do you ever wear the leash...?

ooc: Why do I always miss the fun?
ic:

*wipes the sweat from her forehead with the back of a grubby hand, then wipes her hand on her low cut jeans, before bending over and using a screwdriver on the finishing touches of her project*
One last screw...

*Thinks that being a pet is rather fun*

Hey TCG, do you ever wear the leash...?

Not recently, no...*evil grin*

*tribes is knocked down by the flying gravel kicked out by the speeding sportscar. Pissed that he didn't consider slashing the sportscar's tyres, he picks up his kites and skateboards and continues on, picking the stones out of his teeth as he goes. The wind picks up in this time, and tribes is soon catching up to Jocabia as he sets the trap.

The trap truly is ingenious. Joc planted a willow tree with a beehive in its branches. The willow, famed for its springiness, has been bent down to the ground and tied by several loops of toilet paper wrapped between a branch and a root of the tree. This stores an incredible amount of energy in the tree. The truly clever bit occurs now. Joc, aware that tribes would see a fire burning through a rope, has coated the toilet paper in honey. The bees, naturally attracted to this sweet substance (of their own production), swarm around the honey. As the bees work their way through the honey, the accidentally eat through the toilet paper. The amount of toilet paper is worked out exactly to release the tree - just as tribes gets close - once a certain amount of t-p has been removed. The rest of the honey is smeared on the ground in front of a deep hole.

Tribes arrives at the trap just as the bees eat through the paper, setting the trap in motion. The tree is released as the paper disintegrates, causing it to swing upright like a folded spring. This force leads to the beehive being released from the branches, firing it at tribes. By exact calculation (OK, rough guesstimating, but who was to know?) the beehive hits tribes on the head, collapsing as it hits and enveloping his head in the beehive. Understandably, the bees inside are none too pleased by their visitor and his disregard for their property. The bees inside the beehive sting his face and some of the bees outside sting...everywhere else. Tribes, racked with pain, tries to remove the beehive whilst simultaneously running from the bees. The net result is a lunatic with a beehive on his head running about randomly and waving his arms at said beehive whilst clinging to a mammothskin kite. He happens to run onto the patch of honey. A combination of slippery bees and even more slippery honey underfoot leads to tribes falling all over the place. Eventually he rises for the last time before slipping forwards - directly into the deep hole.

Fortunately, he cracks his head on the edge of the hole and he beehive is removed. Unfortunately, the bees don't give a damn. Tribes, covered in stings and deep in a hole, ponders his predicament. Then has an idea*

Ass-hat! Bollocks! Arseface! Knob-jockey!

*mod stones rain down on the hole, searching for their blue-mouthed friend. On the way down they crush bees, and as they enter the hole they gradually fill it. Tribes, lucky enough to have kept hold of one kite, directs the stones to the ground. The stones eventualy fill to a point where tribes can climb out. As he exits, any bystander would testify that tribes actually thanked the mods. However, these 'bystanders' would have undoubtedly met untimely deaths, possibly involving a pound of butter, a bicycle pump, several balloons, a pound of bicarbonate of soda and a litre of vinegar. They then would have 'ceased to exist' with no-one being able to ascertain their sum whereabouts. Not that this happened. Three times. ¬_¬

Tribes, remembering something about bee-stings, uses some bicarbonate he just happened to have (and is definitely not a signature method of torture only used by tribes, no-siree, especially not when combined with the vinegar he carries) and tweezers to reduce the beestings. Some time later he makes for the castle, completely naked and on foot. He will eventually catch Jocabia, who is still weighed down by his forced meal. For now though tribes sprints across the country side - scarred on his face, cut on his body, swollen around the gonad area and stung all over*

*Meanwhile Jocabia ambles through the castle gates and decides he needs a bit of congratulatory music.*

Esta cancion es para toda la gente.

*A group of peasants begins to stomp and clap. Another begins to play stand-up bass. Yet another begins to play guitar.*

Well, it's nobody's fault but mine
nobody's fault but mine
if I should die, my soul be lost
it's nobody's fault but mine

I got a bible in my home
I got a bible in my home
if I should die, my soul be lost
Ain't nobody's fault but mine

My mother taught me how to read
My mother taught me how to read
if I should die, my soul be lost
Ain't nobody's fault but mine

Ain't nobody's fault but mine *peasants pop their heads in the window* Oh, my lord.
Ain't nobody's fault but mine
Oh, my lordy lordy
If I should die, my soul be lost
Ain't nobody's fault by mine
Oh, my lordy lordy oh my lordy lordy oh my lordy lordy oh my lord

My sister taught me how to praise
My sister taught me how to praise
if I should die, my soul be lost
Ain't nobody's fault but mine

Well, it's nobody's fault but mine
nobody's fault but mine
if I should die, my soul be lost
it's nobody's fault but mine

*Jocabia moves up to the bar and picks up one of the glasses of Guinness and begins to drink.*

*He is halfway finished with the pint when TTOL, now completely in woad, enters the castle.*

You lose, putz!

*Jocabia puts the sweet nectar to his lips and suddenly realizes, he's completely full. He doesn't have the room to finish the thick, wonderful beverage.*

Finally!
*stands up, wipes her hands on her butt and casts her eye over her handiwork*
The first section is a 'walking on hot coals' pit. The floor is metal so if they try and avoid the coals...the next is a wooden ladder with long nails through the rungs, pointing upwards. Third comes the ice-lake. Fourth, planks of wood come flying at foot height, sawn end towards the feet, equipped with splinters. Finally a maze of spikes, sword blades, hidden pits, self-launching crossbows etc. Contestants can be blindfolded and put in chaingangs for added entertainment.

*Meanwhile Jocabia ambles through the castle gates and decides he needs a bit of congratulatory music.*

Esta cancion es para toda la gente.

*A group of peasants begins to stomp and clap. Another begins to play stand-up bass. Yet another begins to play guitar.*

Well, it's nobody's fault but mine
nobody's fault but mine
if I should die, my soul be lost
it's nobody's fault but mine

I got a bible in my home
I got a bible in my home
if I should die, my soul be lost
Ain't nobody's fault but mine

My mother taught me how to read
My mother taught me how to read
if I should die, my soul be lost
Ain't nobody's fault but mine

Ain't nobody's fault but mine *peasants pop their heads in the window* Oh, my lord.
Ain't nobody's fault but mine
Oh, my lordy lordy
If I should die, my soul be lost
Ain't nobody's fault by mine
Oh, my lordy lordy oh my lordy lordy oh my lordy lordy oh my lord

My sister taught me how to praise
My sister taught me how to praise
if I should die, my soul be lost
Ain't nobody's fault but mine

Well, it's nobody's fault but mine
nobody's fault but mine
if I should die, my soul be lost
it's nobody's fault but mine

*Jocabia moves up to the bar and picks up one of the glasses of Guinness and begins to drink.*

*He is halfway finished with the pint when TTOL, now completely in woad, enters the castle.*

You lose, putz!

*Jocabia puts the sweet nectar to his lips and suddenly realizes, he's completely full. He doesn't have the room to finish the thick, wonderful beverage.*
*tribes runs up to the bar and grabs a glass*

You will now see the size of my beer swelled stomach. Behold, the wonderous gullet of tribes!

*tribes opens his gullet and downs almost all the pint of guinness in 4 seconds. Unfortunately for him, the speed of the beer combined with it's mass leads to tribes being knocked over by the momentum. Joc watches, guinness dribbling down his chin, as tribes plummets from the oversized barstool. As tribes hits the floor, the resulting shockwave opens Joc up a little, freeing some space for guinness. Unfortunately for him, it is only enough room for a quarter of a pint. In a feeble attmept to finish, Joc pours some down his front like a baby with a drink. Tribes gets up*

Unlucky mate. *picking up his remaining drink, tribes sups the remainder, finishing first in the race*

THE WINNER!! *waits to be reincarnated*

*tribes runs up to the bar and grabs a glass*

You will now see the size of my beer swelled stomach. Behold, the wonderous gullet of tribes!

*tribes opens his gullet and downs almost all the pint of guinness in 4 seconds. Unfortunately for him, the speed of the beer combined with it's mass leads to tribes being knocked over by the momentum. Joc watches, guinness dribbling down his chin, as tribes plummets from the oversized barstool. As tribes hits the floor, the resulting shockwave opens Joc up a little, freeing some space for guinness. Unfortunately for him, it is only enough room for a quarter of a pint. In a feeble attmept to finish, Joc pours some down his front like a baby with a drink. Tribes gets up*

Unlucky mate. *picking up his remaining drink, tribes sups the remainder, finishing first in the race*

THE WINNER!! *waits to be reincarnated*

*Jocabia slams his glass down on the table in frustration.
Well, crap. Wait... *Looks Tribes over.* You do remember the original rules, right? Peach skin represents Peechy and brown skin to represent TCG. What do you think woad represents?

*Points to the nearest exit as Vin Deisel enters wearing only a kilt and painted woad.*

Vin: So I hear when you get reincarnated you'll be my panties. Sweet! I haven't worn panties since I saved the smurfs from Gargamel using only a pair of pliers and gypsy curses, but a bet's a bet.

*Tribes attempts to flee but Vin Deisel catches him by the throat.* If you're going to be my underwear you're gonna have to stop wriggling around so much.

*points to Mel Gibson being crucified in the corner*
*coughs*
I think he wants some too....

*Jocabia slams his glass down on the table in frustration.
Well, crap. Wait... *Looks Tribes over.* You do remember the original rules, right? Peach skin represents Peechy and brown skin to represent TCG. What do you think woad represents?

*Points to the nearest exit as Vin Deisel enters wearing only a kilt and painted woad.*

Vin: So I hear when you get reincarnated you'll be my panties. Sweet! I haven't worn panties since I saved the smurfs from Gargamel using only a pair of pliers and gypsy curses, but a bet's a bet.

*Tribes attempts to flee but Vin Deisel catches him by the throat.* If you're going to be my underwear you're gonna have to stop wriggling around so much.
HOLY FUC-*just as tribes turns into Vin's panties (edible ones) the mod stones attack. Only now, after so many infringements of the swearing rule, the mods decide that enough is enough. First, they set heavy steel balls on tribes. These bounce off Vin's crotch (for Vin is the über-man, obviously). Next comes the razor blades, which shred the panties slightly (a faint whimpering is heard) and release Vin's manhood. The force of release promptly pokes Joc in the eye. Next comes the shotgun blast. Vin takes it like a man - slight whimpering as his bits bleed - but tribes is almost utterly destroyed. Penultimately comes a massive, floating fist that punches Vin in the stomach. He collapses to the floor, gasping. Finally, as the ultimate punishment, the Mods bring back Steve the bud/zagnut hybrid. The brown monstrosity engulfs Vin. Although Vin is not killed (for Vin cannot die - he is the creator of all. Honest), his clothes are stained by Steve's more liquid element. Tribes becomes brown. Using a fold in his panty-form, tribes constructs a rudimentary mouth*

<muffled>Reincarnate me to CG's panties!!!!

*the mods consider this....*

HOLY FUC-*just as tribes turns into Vin's panties (edible ones) the mod stones attack. Only now, after so many infringements of the swearing rule, the mods decide that enough is enough. First, they set heavy steel balls on tribes. These bounce off Vin's crotch (for Vin is the über-man, obviously). Next comes the razor blades, which shred the panties slightly (a faint whimpering is heard) and release Vin's manhood. The force of release promptly pokes Joc in the eye. Next comes the shotgun blast. Vin takes it like a man - slight whimpering as his bits bleed - but tribes is almost utterly destroyed. Penultimately comes a massive, floating fist that punches Vin in the stomach. He collapses to the floor, gasping. Finally, as the ultimate punishment, the Mods bring back Steve the bud/zagnut hybrid. The brown monstrosity engulfs Vin. Although Vin is not killed (for Vin cannot die - he is the creator of all. Honest), his clothes are stained by Steve's more liquid element. Tribes becomes brown. Using a fold in his panty-form, tribes constructs a rudimentary mouth*

<muffled>Reincarnate me to CG's panties!!!!

*the mods consider this....*

*they decide on a compromise. Suddenly Tribes is standing in the middle of the room in his original form.* Mod voice: You may remain Tribes until your natural death. Then you will become the fabric used to create all of the underwear for the entire Cleveland Browns football team. We have spoken.

.... and thus ends the saga of the great race of Tribes and Jocabia.

*Jocabia looks on and finally finishes his Guinness, including suckling the spilled Guinness from his own chest (he is incredibly nimble).*

Since all the ladies appear to have left, I'm going to go rest. Just being in the same room with Vin Deisel makes me tired.

*they decide on a compromise. Suddenly Tribes is standing in the middle of the room in his original form.* Mod voice: You may remain Tribes until your natural death. Then you will become the fabric used to create all of the underwear for the entire Cleveland Browns football team. And Jocabia, for your inability to drink the divine brew, we sentence you to a reincarnation (at the time of your death) as a jockstrap used by an incontinent boy, who will use you until he gets over the problem, never cleaning you. You shall then be placed in a mens toilet in a club. An especially nasty one, until you have served your time.

.... and thus ends the saga of the great race of Tribes and Jocabia.

*Jocabia looks on and finally finishes his Guinness, including suckling the spilled Guinness from his own chest (he is incredibly nimble).*
*the mods watch this feeble attempt to save his skin*

MOD voice: That won't save you Joc. Have a long life - extend the pleasure before the pain...

And Jocabia, for your inability to drink the divine brew, we sentence you to a reincarnation (at the time of your death) as a jockstrap used by an incontinent boy, who will use you until he gets over the problem, never cleaning you. You shall then be placed in a mens toilet in a club. An especially nasty one, until you have served your time.


*the mods watch this feeble attempt to save his skin*

MOD voice: That won't save you Joc. Have a long life - extend the pleasure before the pain...

*Jocabia looks on in shock at this suddenly made-up rule. He looks over at Tribes and notices he has his hand over his mouth and that he seems to be mumbling.* Tribes?

MOD voice: Pay no attention to the little man with his hand over his face. He is definitely not the one imitating our voice to pretend like Jocabia should be punished.

*Jocabia starts to laugh.* You're so lame, Tribes.

... And thus ends the saga of the race of Tribes and Jocabia.

*Jocabia looks on in shock at this suddenly made-up rule. He looks over at Tribes and notices he has his hand over his mouth and that he seems to be mumbling.* Tribes?

MOD voice: Pay no attention to the little man with his hand over his face. He is definitely not the one imitating our voice to pretend like Jocabia should be punished.

*Jocabia starts to laugh.* You're so lame, Tribes.

... And thus ends the saga of the race of Tribes and Jocabia.
*...except this isn't the end. Tribes, sickened by this result for 'winning' the race, petitioned the mods*

Tribes: Why, oh great ones, do I have to be reincarnated as underwear?
M0ds: Because you asked for our assistance.
T: Yeah, but Joc flagrantly failed to drink his pint of guinness, the most simple of tasks, until he had to suck it off his (sweaty) chest. Everyone knows that when mixed with sweat, the 'goodness' in guinness is lost and it becomes a...lesser beer!
M: *mumbling among the hive mind* Yeah, well...we have spoken! *thunderclap*
T: Fine. Screw you then! I'm going to fish slap Joc every minute with a rotten halibut until he goes insane or runs away!

*and so it was never truly 'over'*

im just here to see if anyone became my panties.........

im just here to see if anyone became my panties.........
No. I won, but I became Vin Diesel's pants. Joc lost, and nothing happened to him. I on the other hand, am sentenced to a reincarnation as a football team's underwear, I think

No. I won, but I became Vin Diesel's pants. Joc lost, and nothing happened to him. I on the other hand, am sentenced to a reincarnation as a football team's underwear, I think

Someone is bitter because the game was rigged. You know what they say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and I become the underwear for a whole football team.

Someone is bitter because the game was rigged. You know what they say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and I become the underwear for a whole football team.
*slaps Joc with a rotten halibut*

If my life is Hell, your current life shall be also.

*continues to slap Joc, little bits of rotting flesh going in his eyes*

*slaps Joc with a rotten halibut*

If my life is Hell, your current life shall be also.

*continues to slap Joc, little bits of rotting flesh going in his eyes*

*continues to giggle at the idea of TTOL's face on the junk of a 350-lb linebacker.*

*continues to giggle at the idea of TTOL's face on the junk of a 350-lb linebacker.*
*calls up the Wigan Warriors*

Dude? Yeah, I have a job for you...

*1/2hour later, the entire Wigan team turns up, plays a few games, then pins down Joc and use him as a body scrub, getting into all the areas*

OOC: Gotta go

*she watches the end with great trepidation and worry. What if Tribes wins? it's worse than being married. no more freedom, no more breeze, no more impromptu or accidental naughty encounters... the end of a social life... she sighs for to have Joc win, after so many affronts would surely be a calamity. But, a sudden slow smile spreads across her lips... this particular group of mods owes a few favors and they did not disappoint. As they sentence Tribes, she rushes down the stairs and waits impatiently until the end to throw her arms about his neck and plant a very passionate kiss on his lips. *

It isn't victory, but at least it's something. *sweet smile*

*she then turns her eyes on Joc, still very loaded from the banquet. she pinches his ear*
you on the other hand always seem to do one good thing and the spoil it all with a silly one... you silly boy. whatever shall i do with you?
*she licks the side of his face and smiles a mysterious smile*
I'll think of something...

*she watches the end with great trepidation and worry. What if Tribes wins? it's worse than being married. no more freedom, no more breeze, no more impromptu or accidental naughty encounters... the end of a social life... she sighs for to have Joc win, after so many affronts would surely be a calamity. But, a sudden slow smile spreads across her lips... this particular group of mods owes a few favors and they did not disappoint. As they sentence Tribes, she rushes down the stairs and waits impatiently until the end to throw her arms about his neck and plant a very passionate kiss on his lips. *

It isn't victory, but at least it's something. *sweet smile*

*she then turns her eyes on Joc, still very loaded from the banquet. she pinches his ear*
you on the other hand always seem to do one good thing and the spoil it all with a silly one... you silly boy. whatever shall i do with you?
*she licks the side of his face and smiles a mysterious smile*
I'll think of something...

... and so ends the saga of the race between Jocabia and Tribes.

well i am going to give Joc and Tribes a consolation prize.....they are both winners in my book.

well i am going to give Joc and Tribes a consolation prize.....they are both winners in my book.

Actually, luv, we have to think of a suitable tribute for both of them...
they were rather good and naughty all at the same time.

Actually, luv, we have to think of a suitable tribute for both of them...
they were rather good and naughty all at the same time.

we could bake a huge cake with chocolate frosting and we could pop out of it

we could bake a huge cake with chocolate frosting and we could pop out of it
You could stop me from becoming a linebacker's jockstrap in my next life.

Just a thought...

You could stop me from becoming a linebacker's jockstrap in my next life.

Just a thought...
Well... well, well, well... I could arrange that but what is that worth to you, Tribes?
*eyes fluttering*

Well... well, well, well... I could arrange that but what is that worth to you, Tribes?
*eyes fluttering**from the rafters*
Prrrrrrrrrrr
[he could become my scratching post....]


mew :D
[nah, scratch that idea]

Well... well, well, well... I could arrange that but what is that worth to you, Tribes?
*eyes fluttering*
I shall be your slave, in this life and the next. And possibly the one after that, too, but I'd like to issue a get-out clause on that one in case someone else needs me

*from the rafters*
Prrrrrrrrrrr
[he could become my scratching post....]


mew
[nah, scratch that idea]
Don't make me get my broomstick... :eek:

Don't make me get my broomstick... :eek:*looks down from the rafters*
Meowr
[why...would that make a better skratchy post?]

*looks down from the rafters*
Meowr
[why...would that make a better skratchy post?]
*holds out a wooden leg, stolen from a nearby disabled peasant (who is currently in the process of falling over)*

No but this would.

*looks at peasant. Then hits him with the leg until the peasant stops whining*

*holds out a wooden leg, stolen from a nearby disabled peasant (who is currently in the process of falling over)*

No but this would.

*looks at peasant. Then hits him with the leg until the peasant stops whining* Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[oh... nice...]

*jumps down from the rafters and begins sharpening baby claws on wooden leg*

Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[oh... nice...]

*jumps down from the rafters and begins sharpening baby claws on wooden leg*
*points at Nekone's baby claws*

Heh. You have crappy baby claws.

*watches as claws sink into his thigh, just short of something important to being male*

I mean....cool...claws...*passes out from blood loss*

I shall be your slave, in this life and the next. And possibly the one after that, too, but I'd like to issue a get-out clause on that one in case someone else needs me

Someone else? If it's Peeches, there is no problem... if it's somebody else... she can have you after 2, yes 2 consecutive lifetimes with me. Deal?

*points at Nekone's baby claws*

Heh. You have crappy baby claws.

*watches as claws sink into his thigh, just short of something important to being male*

I mean....cool...claws...*passes out from blood loss*

*licks the blood*
Now, now Nekone, he's had a traumatic week... give him some time to recuperate

Someone else? If it's Peeches, there is no problem... if it's somebody else... she can have you after 2, yes 2 consecutive lifetimes with me. Deal?
Done. Although I still get 8 hours sleep and 3 hours free time. Sorry. Union rules

Done. Although I still get 8 hours sleep and 3 hours free time. Sorry. Union rules

Hmmm... AND you must reveal you identity and come to a party later this year if i provide you with airplane tickets. that is not negotiable. and i am serious. deadly serious.

*passes out*

Hmmm... AND you must reveal you identity and come to a party later this year if i provide you with airplane tickets. that is not negotiable. and i am serious. deadly serious.
*considers*

OK. But it has to be a fancy dress party. Aaand I get to come as...I dunno...

...

...Stalin. No...

...I know. I get to bring a bullwhip, not shave for a week, wear a khaki fedora and sweat loads in an open necked khaki shirt. Yet pull it all off with infinite style. Yeah. You know who...

*passes out*
Hey, when did we get a new rug?

*walks all over Choq*

[QUOTE=The Tribes Of Longton
Hey, when did we get a new rug?

*walks all over Choq*[/QUOTE]
*sleeps through it*

*sleeps through it*
Hey look, a bag of Choquolate nuts.

*stands on nuts*

I hate chocolate nuts.

Hey look, a bag of Choquolate nuts.

*stands on nuts*

I hate chocolate nuts.
*flails in sleep*
mah nuts mah nuts

*Places Choqulya's head in some warm water.*

*Places Choqulya's head in some warm water.*
*watches as Choq slowly drowns*

I thought you were supposed to put their hand in warm water?

I dont like chocolate nuts either. I like chocolate. The only nut I like is a cashew....but I dont want chocolate on them....just salt.


I dont know what that has to do with my scrotum collecting......

*watches as Choq slowly drowns*

I thought you were supposed to put their hand in warm water?
Really? That woud explain why I can never get this to work...

*leaves his head in the water anyway.*

*looks confused in his sleep*

*Walks in*

*Watches Choq drowning*

*Pulls up a chair, cracks open a Newcie Brown, and sits down to watch*

*Walks in*

*Watches Choq drowning*

*Pulls up a chair, cracks open a Newcie Brown, and sits down to watch*

*waves guiness at mac*


-underwater- heelllppp meee

*Walks in*

*Watches Choq drowning*

*Pulls up a chair, cracks open a Newcie Brown, and sits down to watch*


*sits on Mac's lap...offers him some cashews and takes a sip of his beer*

You know.........I was a lifeguard in highschool.........so I could save him if I wanted to.


*continues to snack with Mac*

*waves guiness at mac*


-underwater- heelllppp meee

*Takes guiness, opens, and hands to Gael.*

*Pushes Choqs head back underwater*

Enjoy


*To Peech*

Yeah, but thats less fun. Plus, over there, you don't get beer a la Mac.

*Offers another swig of beer*

I dont like chocolate nuts either. I like chocolate. The only nut I like is a cashew....but I dont want chocolate on them....just salt.


I dont know what that has to do with my scrotum collecting......
Salted Nuts....

...scrotums....

...salted nuts...

...scrotums....

Nope. I can't see it either. :confused:

Really? That woud explain why I can never get this to work...

*leaves his head in the water anyway.**looks confused in his sleep*
*watches with interest as Choq goes through several colours*

Hey, I'm going to take him out now...there is a man who needs a beer.

*Walks in*

*Watches Choq drowning*

*Pulls up a chair, cracks open a Newcie Brown, and sits down to watch*
*lobs a spork at mac. It sticks in the wooden char, vibrating rapidly*

Alright Mac. Any beer left? I need one, and so does Choq...

*Takes guiness, opens, and hands to Gael.*

*Pushes Choqs head back underwater*

Enjoy


*To Peech*

Yeah, but thats less fun. Plus, over there, you don't get beer a la Mac.

*Offers another swig of beer*


*sips beer*

Yeah youre right. Beer a la Mac is my favorite. It goes well with Mac-a-roni and sleaze.


/cheesy pun alert

*Hangs head in shame at Peech's pun*


*Throws Tribes a bottle, and then throws one at Choq, who fails to catch it as it smacks him in the nuts, and he falls face first into the water again*

Oops, sorry dude.

Salted Nuts....

...scrotums....

...salted nuts...

...scrotums....

Nope. I can't see it either. :confused:


...


see I must be losing my touch. I had no naughty conotations when I typed that.

maybe I am becoming a plain , pure, innocent maiden....


what the fu- :confused:

*sips beer*

Yeah youre right. Beer a la Mac is my favorite. It goes well with Mac-a-roni and sleaze.


/cheesy pun alert
*a strangely loud beeping fills the room. All look confused, except tribes who pulls something out of his pocket*

Sorry. I have it set to 'cheese-meter'. Useful if you can't find Peech, not so useful if you are in the Cheddar Gorge.

*switches over to 'irony-meter'. No beeping is heard for many aeons*

see I must be losing my touch. I had no naughty conotations when I typed that.

maybe I am becoming a plain , pure, innocent maiden....


what the fu- :confused:
Quick Peech, catch!

*lobs a live Peasant grenade at Peech, scrotum beared for a good castration*

<snip>
maybe I am becoming a plain , pure, innocent maiden....
<snip>

*At this, Mac collapses, rolling on the floor, laughing manically*

Whew, that was funny.


Wait, you weren't serious were you?

:(

Assignments just came in. I'm gonna go drink myself into oblivion now.

Quick Peech, catch!

*lobs a live Peasant grenade at Peech, scrotum beared for a good castration*



OOC: cheese-o-meter-lol.......you kill me


*her spiderlike slaughtering sense turns on...........her saber appears in her hand and slices a hurling peasant in half, his scrotum in tact hangs from the tip of her blade..............she looks confused and invigorated*


I guess I have no choice in the matter.


*for the first time she doesnt lick blood from her saber*




to be continued.............