NationStates Jolt Archive

“So what did you learn from the Spaamians? When do they plan to attack us?” King John demanded of his Chief Spymaster after the match and the Spaam team had departed.

“They are very clever sire. They spoke of nothing regarding the expected assault, spending most of their time complaining of such things as lack of things called ‘showers’, ‘indoor plumbing’, and ‘cars’. It seemed they have not mastered the art of horseback riding there as they preferred to walk to the stadium rather than accept the horses set aside for their use. They also found our stadium ‘quaint’ and something about a ‘junior league stadiums bigger than this’. We are still trying to connect this information to see what it is about if it involves some secret code of theirs.” The spymaster reported dutifully.

“And afterwards? After that Miller fellow triumphed twice against their defenses and once again they departed without a victory?” the king pressed.

“There was some disappointment on their part and several were heard saying ‘they couldn’t believe they could only get a pair of draws against these hicks’ and ‘dammit I stepped in horseshit again’. However no doubt because they could claim a partial triumph talk of the invasion was not brought up.” The spymaster replied.

“I see and we are still among the champions correct?” the king asked.

“Yes sire. We remain ahead of these Spaamians in third place. My own experience tells me that if this situation continues near the end of play then that will be the most likely time they will launch their invasion. To destroy us so our team would not be able to participate giving the Spaamian team the right to move on in our place. Its what I would do in their place given the strong magics they possess.” Answered the spymaster.

“Very well keep me informed. Has the wife been found?” the king asked changing tacts.

“Yes sire, the escort and carriage bringing her to the capital shall arrive tomorrow.” The spymaster replied.

“Excellent, soon we shall learn the secret of the Miller that we can pass on to all my champions to make us truly invincible!” the king declared in ringing tones. “See to it that she is afforded decent quarters and be sure she bathes before entering the throne room. I’m sure the stench of the road and her commonness shall needed to be removed so that it doesn’t overwhelm me in such tight quarters.” The king ordered gesturing at the 50 meter by 20 meter throne room he was sitting in.

“As you wish Majesty.” The spymaster replied bowing his leave.

"Welcome once again to World Cup Sloths, I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone."

"Welcome back to Pablicosta, where Schiavonia have just run riot against the no-hopers at the bottom of their qualifying group. Two each for Colin Chester and Jermaine Edwards, plus Seamus Bradley and Nicolai Ferreira goals saw off the sorry Pablicostans. And Schiavonia is no doubt celebrating as they do after every win."

"So if everyone at home is celebrating the win, who exactly is watching us?"

"Er... they're probably recording it or something."

"OK, cool. They'd better be, because my report is on next."

"Oh yeah, you mentioned about that."

"Should be good."

"Well, first we're going to talk to Rodney Lowe about the game."

"That's fine by me."

"Rodney, can you hear us down there in the tunnel? Rodney..."

"RODNEY!!!"

"There's no need to shout, Fil. He's miked up."

"Oh."

"I can heat you now, Mike."

"Good good. After some below par performances lately, culminating in the defeat at the KFS against Rejistania, it must be good to get back to such a commanding performance again."

"Indeed it is. Although you do have to remember that we were only playing Pablicosta, who have been a byword for mediocrity so far this cup. The real test will come in our next game against Green Wombat, who will be looking to keep up the good form they're in themselves."

"Hey Rodney, it's Fil Schiavone."

"Hey Fil."

"Now as a striker myself, I've been more than impressed by Colin Chester's contribution to the team so far. How important is his current form?"

"It's been just about all that's been ticking us over. Nine goals in five games is a fantastic rate. I think it shows just how important it is to have the three pronged attack of pace, power and finishing. If one doesn't work or two don't work, there's always the other part to fall back on. Col's goals have kept us ticking over. I know, his goal last time wasn't enough against Rejistania's two, but without them, we'd be struggling into the qualifying places."

"So Green wombat next. Any different way of approaching the game?"

"Not yet. If we'd have struggled today, I was going to make a change to the midfield to make it more creative, but the guys who are in it right now have had the kick up the backside from the Orange-Blues last game. They're now back into the right mental shape for games which, on the whole, they should find reasonably challenging."

"Finally, any news on the whereabouts of Fr. Symeon?"

"Sadly, none whatsoever."

"OK. Rodney Lowe, thank you."

"No problem."

"Fil, you touched upon Colin Chester there, if you look at Schiavonia's top scorers list, you'll see he's now at the top of it above Edwards..."


14+2 Colin Chester
12 Jermaine Edwards
6 Seamus Bradley
3 Will Caine
1 Alan Tiss
1 Shiela Blige
1 Arran Di Chula
1 Eric Berry
1 Nicolai Ferreira

"Do you think he's the new Tony Tarmey?"

"Well, he plays the same role in the team and he's pretty damn good at it. But then this is a better team than when Tony started out, and he is getting more chances to put away. I don't think calling any player the new insert-legendary-name-here is right. They are themselves, they play their own game and just let them get on with it without the burden on their shoulders."

"WOW! That was quite a sensible reply, Fil. What have they given you?"

"Nothing. It's just something I feel strongly about."

"Well, whatever you say, I think you're coming into the realms of sensibility. Which is even more surprising, because you've actually gone to the effort of making a report, haven't you?"

"I have. It's on Schiavonia's other international football team..."

"Even though they're Jeruselem's."

"I'd like to think we can share them. They are, of course, JGN's Socialist Romanistan."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/socialist_romanistan.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

*We see shots of an old, small football ground with a capacity of about 12,000*

"Hello, and welcome to Amsham Park in Kingsbury. Usually, this place is home to newly promoted SchiavThree outfit Kingsbury Amsham. But every now again, the name gets changed to the Jeruselem Government News Stadium and a different team call it home. A team known as Socialist Romanistan."

*We cut to a shot of Fil Schiavone walking around the side of the pitch*

"Now, not many people in Schiavonia will have heard of Socialist Romanistan before. Who would blame them. They were a small nation from the Heartland who failed miserably during World Cup 30. And as we were hosting that cup, we didn't get to see much of them in action. So why, then, are they now playing in this old ground in Kingsbury's northern suberbs?"

*Cut to a shot of Fil walking along with Chris Howard*

"This is Chris Howard, who not only now plays in goal for Socialist Romanistan, but is in charge of the Socialist Football Association. Chris, welcome to World Cup Sloths."

"Thanks very much."

"FIL SCHIVONE!!!"

"Who's that?"

"Oh, that's my friend Dom. He gets excited by seeing all these famous faces around the place. When we played Liverpool England and he got to shake hands with Luis Sunderland, he didn't stop it for three days."

"Oh. So how come you've ended up playing here at Amsham Park?"

"Well we're not actually the nation of Socialist Romanistan who were in the last cup. From what we can make out, they were a team of footballing pygmies with no way of communicating with the outside world."

"Well, you're quite clearly not pygmies, so how come you are representing the same nation this time around?"

"It's because of an internet game called NationStates. They hold a World Cup style competition where the results are created by random numbers and we write repots on them. I wanted a nation name that was an actual one in the last World Cup, and Socialist Romanistan was the only one left, so I chose them. Anyway, they were just coming up to the thirty-first World Cup as we were too. Obviously, my sign up for one got confused for a real application from the old real nation, and so here we are."

"Blimey. So you aren't really from Socialist Romanistan?"

"No. We're as Schiavone as you are, Fil. We still want the Sloths to win every game, but what better opportunity is there to improve your game?"

*We cut away to see the young Socialist Romanistan players in a training session along with one slightly chubby man in a grimey old tracksuit and a rather good looking couple with training gear and a camera crew*

"What better opportunity, indeed? Especially when you consider that, once a week, they are being coached by the man who knocked Schiavonia out of the last cup, Harry Kool."

*We see Fil and Harry together in shot*

"Harry, you helped Jeruselem knock Schiavonia out of World Cup 30, so why on earth are you back here in Schiavonia coaching a different team?"

"Well, I didn't know I was coming to Schiavonia to start off with. I was sent to Socialist Romanistan as part of my contract with JGN. It was only when I got here that I realised where I would be staying."

"And there's been no adverse reaction from the locals?"

"Of course not, the..."

"Because at World Cup 29, the way your nation sucked up to the Nedalians brought our country and New Montreal States together and we knocked you both out."

"Yeah, but we knocked you out on your own patch!"

"Exactly! Not exactly something that endears you to the people of a host nation."

"No, but then when you consider that people from our country are really friendly, and yours are pretty good too... well, it was just a case of forgive and forget."

"So why are you coaching this lot?"

"Well, my wife Rachel and I came over as part of a sponsorship deal with JGN, and I saw some potential in them. Especially young Chris, the goalkeeper. Anyway, they were clueless as exactly how to play, especially defense-wise. I've just come and given them a little helping hand."

"Indeed."

"In fact, once this Socialist Romanistan team can break up, I think Chris could have the potential to represent his proper nation."

"Really?"

"Of course. He's really good. And he's still growing."

"Fantastic."

"Actually... haven't I heard your name before? Fil Schiavone?"

"That's right."

"Rachel said something about a Fil Schiavone at the World Cup 30 game against your team. Says he got a bit close. You do know she's mine?"

"What... Oh, that must have been a different Fil Schiavone. There's lots of Schiavone people called Fil. Look, I'd better be going..."

*We break to a long shot of Fil at his computer, where he is on nationstates.scv*

"And as for Socialist Romanistan's form in the NSWC... Well, I logged on myself to find out."

*We close in on Fil*

"Here I am, this is my nation Conficustan, who just happen to have the same flag as Az-cz and... just go onto the forums... oh, they're down again. Surprise surprise..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/socialist_romanistan.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

"So that's it, then. Schiavonia's other team, bringing top class international football teams to Schiavones even more often than they would normally."

"And how are they doing?"

"Well, they managed to beat Yafor 2 with Harry and Rachel Kool's help, which is impressive considering how they were qualifiers last cup. However, just three wins in total so far. They're not going to qualify, but, like Harry said, they could produce some Sloths start of the future."

"And have they any games in Kingsbury to go?"

"Yes, against Bettia, Marceau State and Milchama on matchdays 14, 16 and 17."

"Fantastic, well, if you want to go along and watch an international football match, what better opportunity is there? As for the show, that's it from us. On the day that Pablicosta were hit for six and Jermaine Edwards started hitting form again, but Colin Chester keeps on being the hero. From Fil and myself, goodnight."

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f141/DarthBunny/ns_stuff/sg-title.png
Read SG online - http://sports.rta/gazette/

Many Goals In Oliverry
by Charles Neumann

Oliverry 5 - 1 Ropa-Topia

OLIVERRY - Many goals were scored in today's match in Oliverry. Most of these were scored by Oliverrians and not by Ropa-Topians, so it was Oliverry who won the match. The 5-1 defeat equals the defeat in the fourth Uhuhland Cup final against Ariddia, but it's not the team's worst defeat (which still is the 7-0 defeat by Az-cz at the Baptism of Fire some time ago).

Midfielder Johan Claessen who was injured in the match against Fmjphoenix is still in hospital, and Coach Klungelaer announced that it was very unlikely Claessen would ever be able to play football again. The coach also hinted that there might be more players, besides Paul Delsing, leaving the team when these qualification matches are over, as he said he was looking for several new players to join the team to fill in the gaps. Coach Klungelaer also expressed his thanks on behalf of the entire team for the well-wishes of the Ariddian team.


Schedule
10. Home: Fmjphoenix - W 3-1 (Away: W 3-1)
11. Away: Oliverry - L 1-5 (Home: L 2-3)
12. Away: Spaamanian Plijous - Next (Home: W 3-1)
13. Home: Turori - (Away: L 1-4)
14. Away: Lexington SC - (Home: W 2-1)
15. Home: Bushes Been Quaked - (Away: W 3-0)
16. Home: Spruitland - (Away: L 1-2)
17. Away: Marion Oaks 2 - (Home: W 1-0)
18. Home: Lovisa - (Away: W 3-0)

Logged in

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Tadjikistan.png Nygaristan
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/West_Ariddia.png Bushbaba
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/The_Mushroom_kingship.png Mushy_Mania

***You are now logged in***
Nygaristan:Meh we drew TMK again :(
Mushy_Mania:Hi
Nygaristan: man you TMK boys are good
Mushy_Mania:TBH I'm as surprised as you are
Mushy_Mania:Though That DeBuille kid is as good as advirtised ;)
Mushy_Mania has seen DeBuille in person
Nygaristan: Is he that good
Mushy_Mania: yeah he averaged 2 goals a season once.
Nygaristan:Holy!
Mushy_Mania: Seasons only about 16 games sans playoffs
Nygaristan: Still 32 goals is amazing
Mushy_Mania: yeah well i have to be going now
***You have logged off***

Recent news items from the First Creek Falls Age

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Agemasthead.gif

SHOCK RESIGNATION OF POTOROO CAPTAIN

Captain of the First Creek Falls and Errinundrian teams, blackwoo, has shocked the nation by announcing his resignation. He says that the upcoming elections will take up too much of his time. “My wife, mebo, is contesting the mayoral position for constituency 18 and I want to dedicate all my efforts to ensuring she wins. The EFA had refused to give me leave to campaign so I had no choice but to resign. Really, football isn’t all that important.”

When asked if his absence would cause any problems blackwoo was adamant. “We’ve reached the halfway mark with a 7-0-2 record so I don’t see why we can’t keep winning. The potoroos have a fine, young team and don’t need a 33 year old fossil like me.”

Another local star, goalkeeper lotorous, isn’t so sure. “His form has been a bit down of late but his value goes beyond that. It’s his quiet leadership that will be missed.”

POTOROOS CRASH TO BAZALONIA IN DOWNFALL

In a break with tradition the National Downfall Stadium did not host the last home game of the qualifying rounds of the World Cup. In the tenth of eighteen qualifying rounds the national team put up an eminently forgettable performance against the visiting Bazalona. So forgettable we will only mention the scoreline of 0-3 once. In cool, damp conditions (ie, typical spring conditions in Errinundera) the potoroos seemed bereft of system or leadership.

Local star and new vice-captain, lotorous, says the team misses the former captain, blackwoo, sorely. “He held our defence together. Suddenly there seemed to be gaps everywhere.” What about his own effort in letting three balls into the net? “My confidence was way down before the game started. I played shite.”

POTOROOS TRY HARD AGAINS THE ODDS

In wild scenes in Nedalia, the potoroos went down 1-0 in their latest World Cup effort. Local star, vice-captain lotorous, says the Nedalians are even more lawless the Errinundrians. “The place is run by gangs. The crowd barriers were quickly knocked down and, with the lack of ground personnel, there were constant pitch invasions. The only reason the game was able to keep going was that the invaders were more interested in fighting with rival gangs than watching the game itself. I fact, they didn’t seem all that interested in the football. No-one seemed to notice when the Nedalians scored. I stood out for the game and I’m not altogether disappointed.”

WIFE OF EX-POTOROO CAPTAIN FAILS IN ELECTION BID

mebo, the wife of the former football captain, blackwoo, has failed in her attempt to become mayor of First Creek Falls constituency 18 today. “I’m very disappointed,” she told a packed press conference that consisted mainly of football journalists. “This constituency had previously been held safely by my party (the Greens) so I must take full responsibility for the loss.”

When asked about blackwoo’s career, mebo gave the journalists a lecture about priorities. The two political reporters present explained later to the sportswriters that, in the circumstances, it was understandable that mebo lost.

The Daily Quak
Quakmybush's Longest Running Daily Newspaper
Nikea been Nicked

The Quakmybush Sharks cintinued to turn it around in their attempt to qualify for World Cup 31. The team took on 90th ranked Nikea. The Sharks defeated Nikea 2-0 the first time around, and this time they would better that. Four of the starters only played 10 minutes or less but before those ten minutes were up two goals were scored. In the 5th minute of the match Jon Fields came screaming down the left side and let a bullet of a shot go that curved into the top corner. Then, in the 7th minute Cory Sorley went to setup Ryan Fret however, the pass was horribly off line, and some how found the back of the net. Then not much happened in the rest of the half except for Hubert Yurt making a fantastic save in the 37th minute. Then in the second half not much else happened untill the 85th minute when another goal was scored. Micheal Dets game on two Nikean defenders pulled some splendid footwork moves and then put a shot into the corner out of the reach of the keeper's outstreached arms. That is how the game ended 3-0. Now here are some more detailed stats.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Quakmybush.png @ http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Nikea.png
Score: 3 Score: 0
Shots: 21 Shots: 2
Possession: 89% Possession: 11%
Yellow Cards: 1 Yellow Cards: 3
Red Cards: 0 Red Cards: 1
Goal Scorers: Fields '5 Sorley '7 Dets '85 Goal Scorers: N/A
Corners: 11 Corners: 1

Up next for the Sharks will be Spindomia. The team will hope to keep it's qualifying place with a win over the 85th ranked squad. In other news Hubert Yurt has again been named starter for tomorrows game vs Spindomia, he played quite well yesterday, with a clean sheet, and 2 saves.

Spindomian National Telegraph

In one of the biggest shocks of matchday 11, Spindomia went to Eseck and picked up a comfortable 2-0 victory

The game, for which the crowd was pumped up, expecting a home win, started with some excellent free flowing football from both sides, with Azhka for Eseck and Frenry for Spindomia going close early on.

The deadlock was broken in incredible fashion, when Demp took a shot from all of 40 yards, which went straight in to the top corner of the net. The crowd were completely silenced, and the Eseck players took some time to recover from the shock of going behind.

But it was exactly that which allowed Frenry in for the second Spindomian goal, an interception in midfield by the Spindomian striker started a terriffic sprint through the defence, before executing a sublime chip over Richards in the Eseck goal.

The game slowed down through half time, until 10 minutes after the break, when Zojen latched onto an excellent through ball, only to be denied by the crossbar.

It was the turn of Spindomian keeper, Chez Clarke, to deny Eseck next. Sarus stormed through the defence, but his bottom corner shot was just nudged out of the way by the keeper's outstreched arm.

By 70 minutes the Eseck crowd was leaving, and Spindomia was happy to just hold onto the lead. With very little action after that, the game came to an end.

After the game, Spindomia coach Lewis praised his player's determination and skill to overcome a high flying Eseck side.

Spindomia now sit still in 7th place, but only 1 point behind Andossa, and only 7 behind the qualification places. A few more upsets, and Spindomia might just challenge

It was almost the epitome of Norman Hacker's style and the crowd at the Kenneth Kendall were not happy. An early goal through a Burnside header from a free-kick after Starkey went down easily; then defence.

And a goal at the start of the second half through a Newton flick header; then defence.

When the Wentland defence cleared the ball for Iansisle's thirty-fourth throw in of the second half, which in turn generated their thirty-fifth (as expected), the crowd's disgruntlement turned to whistling.

Norman Hacker's response was to withdraw Newton - the lone striker - and replace him with Keith Basset, a centre-half. When the crowd booed, Hacker turned and delivered an exaggerated bow to his baiters.

The final whistle blew to a mixture of boos, indifference and scattered cheers. It was a workmanlike 2-0 victory against limited opposition. The 44,000 crowd had perhaps hoped for a bit more swash to the buckle and a Wentland cutting loose. But no, the team was pretty much shackled and Hacker stood on the three points he had.

When asked about the negative reactions afterwards Hacker was dismissive. "Let them hate," he said, "so long as they fear."

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Watch The Inevitable Ousting From ViLC Here!

Warm Up The Axes
1-1 Success against Jeruselem makes Kujp no friends

Eastentown - Weston Rijal, replacing the still benched for no apparent reason except for his horrendus quasimullet Michael Klobee, continued to be a shining beacon in OSer mediocraty as the National Team sprung a surprising 1-all tie against mighty Jeruselem.

Chicanada National Team Schedule....late, obviously.

MD01 L 1-2 The Macabees
MD02 L 1-2 Jeruselem (@ TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD03 W 1-0 Tryannny
MD04 W 2-1 Kericia
MD05 W 4-1 Geisenfried (@ The Glen, New Glasgow)
MD06 L 2-3 Magnus Valerius
MD07 W 2-0 Montegrande (@ Hollish Field, Dover)
MD08 W 1-0 Cyredel (@ Stock City Grounds, Jaxx)
MD09 L 3-0 Ariddia
MD10 W 4-1 The Macabees (@ Canal4 Stadium, Manchester)
MD11 @ Jeruselem
MD12 v Tryanny (@ Easten National Hall)
MD13 v Kericia (@ Douala Palace)
MD14 @ Gelsenfried
MD15 v Magnus Valerius (@ Red Bull Stadium, Aspern)
MD16 @ Montegrande
MD17 @ Cyredel
MD18 v Ariddia (@ Southampton National Stadia)

While Generation D continues to shine atop the Qualifying Group and continue to gloat about their triple Womens Cup wins (and last we checked, Chicanada invented the tourney...which we have never won...which is a darn shame) the Orange Stars are staring up at Kericia - who we beat on the road - and The Evil, both 4 points ahead with seven matches left. Still plenty of time in reality, but in the grand scheme of things we're probably too far gone. A six game run between Generation D and The Evil could spell good fortune, since we get some "easier" games against Tryanny, Montegrande and Cyredel, a chance to get revenge on home soil against Kericia (but not at New Governess, Kinsington city officials nixed that one) and the revenge match against Magnus over in Aspern.

But without a sweep of the six matches, along with at least a stumble from The Evil before the big showdown at the SNS, Avarette Kujp is more than likely ousted from the National Coach slot. A thankless job, really, but with his side four down on qualifying and in need of Klobee (with a haircut) or more work from the midfield that he keeps putzing with, Kujp has won no friends inside the CFA which wanted a coach that would stick to the Marginal Diamond formation. His constant reshuffles and almost 5-0-5 runs when the team is down a goal - as was the case in Jeruselem after 23 minutes - is agravating many higher ups and leading to calls on the CFA website and many fansites in the .chc area to call for his resignation.

Kujp has been smart in ignoring the calls, as he heads off to watch Derby in IAFL action this week before the National Side hosts Tryanny in the Easten Hall. Six straight wins (and assistance with Kericia and Ariddia by loosing once or twice) before the Big Showdown can let him survive to 32. Anything less and the National Team could have a new coach rather soon.

It's the Top-Rating IBC Sunday Morning Show....

BREAKFAST WITH FROSTES

Sponsored by Gollek's Frosted Flakes


"Good Morning, and welcome to Breakfast with Frostes with me, Davido Frostes. On today's show we have a very special guest... He was the very first captain of the Imperial national football team, he's a World Cup Hall of Fame Legend, and he's the under-fire coach of the current national team. He's Juan Tzimisces. Good morning, Juan."

"Good Morning, Davido."

"First of all, Juan - if I may - can I address the recent articles in the Holy Empire Herald calling for your sacking?"

"<snort of derision>"

"I take it you disagree?"

"That Anna Comneno <beeeeeeep>? No-good <beeeeeep> doesn't know what she's <beeeeeeeeep>ing talking about. Look at last night's match! 4-1 against Candy Rocks! 4-1! Did that look <beeeeep>ing 'limp' to you? 'Limp'? What she needs is a good stiff <beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep> right up the <beeeeeeeeeeeeeep>."

"I see. But nonetheless the team did come under some criticism following the 4-0 away loss to Delesa....."

"Can't a team have a <beeeeeeeeeep>ing off day once in a <beeeeeep>ing while? Upsets happen. Get over it. What about that 3-3 draw against Liverpool England? The 3-2 victory over Lisburn Mateys? The 8-1 win over Socialist Romanistan..."

"Who are a small-town club side, Juan - you'd expect to beat them handily, wouldn't you?"

"Interrupt me again, old man, and you're <beeeeeeeeeeeep>. I'll shove your <beeeeeeeeeeeep> so far up your own <beeeeeeeeeeeeeep>, you'll never <beeeeeeeeeeeep> again. As I was saying BEFORE I was interrupted, more than half way through qualifying, and we have a winning record, and we're only four points off fourth place. This is the first proper team we've entered into a World Cup since World Cup 7. Most neutral observers thought our campaign was hopeless. Instead we've been highly competitive. Instead of focusing on single 4-0 losses, why don't my critics in the <beeeeeeep>ing Herald try and be positive about our accomplishments? <beeeeeeeeep>ing wankers."

"Whoops! Looks like the in-studio team forgot to excise that last word. Apologies to all of the watching little old ladies potentially offended by that synonym for self-abuse. Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the always delightful and insightful Juan Tzimisces for joining us today - and now a word from our sponsors, Gollek's Frosted Flakes...... they're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"


"15 scoops of sugar in every bowl of Frosted Flakes
Hyperactive diabetics - that's what makes them great!"

This jingle has been brought to you under the new Imperial 'truth in advertising' laws.

It was a few bizzare claims that lead Hill and her assistant coach Greg Ruhlman to the Sports Studies department of Nortrista University.

Walking into the building, there was not a lot of activity. Walking through the halls slowly, Hill quietly cursed all the academics she knew in alphabetical order, peeking into dozens of small film rooms, one or two occupied by pairs of sleep deprived undergraduate students who were pouring over film and taking notes whenever something happened on the screen.

Greg peeked into one and blinked. "What a bunch of nerds." He muttered to himself as they finally found some sort of faculty office. "Anyone in here?"

A college professor dressed in a pair of crappy blue jeans and an old away shirt from some football team well past their prime darted out of the office and began shaking hands. "Hello, I'm Doctor Raymond Schwartz, I'm the head of the department here." He said, hurring down the hall. "Follow me, please." Hill and Ruhlman looked at each other and shrugged, following.

"What we're working on here is developing statistical theories about the development, flow, and resolution of soccer games and the statistical importance of each player on the field to the outcome of the game." he explained, bringing them to a room full of complex formulas written on chalkboards all around, lists of text in very small print pinned to walls in blocks, and an extremely worn coffeemaker sitting in the middle of a crappy folding table.

"... buh?" Hill said, looking at one of the list. "What the hell are all these acronyms?"

"That one is the statistical ratings of various attributes for every player on... Stockton, if I'm not mistaken. Then we weigh them based on importance, position, the team's tactical styles, and use those weights to give them a comparative rating on the utility index, which determines the player's weighted overall value."

"Nerds." Ruhlman muttered under his breath, looking at list over list of players.

"So... you're saying that merely by picking a bunch of high numbers, someone should be able to win?"

"After factoring in formation and strategy... yes." The professor said, standing in the middle of the room.

Ruhlman looked over. "That's a pretty bold statement."

"We're 174-26 in our predictions so far this season in the First Division, which means we're picking winners with a 87% success rate."

"That's actually... mildly interesting." Hill said, biting her lip. "I don't suppose you could tell me how we're going to do in the rest of qualifying?"

"Pfft. I think you're just underestimating how much time we have on our hands. From what I've seen, you're showing a distressing tendancy to lose to Qutar away."

"Why?" Hill said, having her attention snapped away from the results of 10,000 Tyrellian Derby simulations.

"Well, intangeables, mostly. Home field advantage, stuff like that. Except when it rains, of course. Casari does have a fine tradition of playing in the mud."

"Well, what else is new." Hill said, flipping through a stack of papers. "I have to admit, this is some fascinating stuff."

"Thank you." The professor said as someone stuck their head in, asking for him. "Excuse me a minute."

Ruhlman sighed. "Did you ever play one of those soccer team management games?"

Hill shook her head. "Hell no, it sucks enough to do for a living. I don't want to do it in my free time too."

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

Chasing Icharus

Page 1:
Panel 1:

"So where's our contact?" asked James. Both Louise and James where standing outside a recently refurbished train station in the Yerusalayim. Yihsrael a jewish state that rose up out of the ashes after Atheistic Right had been wiped off the face of the earth by a combined attack from a number of nations including Bazalonia. "Icharus should not be long; we planned to meet at 2pm local time." There where people going about there business that somewhat involved a train journey.

Panel 2:

"So why is he called Icharus?" said James just standing about standing out like a sore thumb against all the men that had their prayer caps on. "Because he flew too close to the sun and got burnt? How the heck would I know." said Louise irratedly, James frequent and incessent questions frequently got on her nerve. "So what if he doesn't turn up?" "Who said Icharus was a guy. Icharus is a woman. I met her through a story I did on Atheistic Right ages ago." Which was right there was one article that Louise did on Atheistic Right.

Panel 3:

"So why her then?" asked James. "If anything is happening around here she knows about it. She didn't actually buy in to all that tripe and just wanted to live peacably." "Heh, good luck in old AR". ""Do you want me to hurt you? You're going about it the right way." still people where going about their Business but there was no sign of this Icharus and the clock that was on the train station just turned 2:05

Page 2:
Panel 4:

The time on the station clock was now 2:25 "So she's ditched us?" asked James. "No, something isn't right" said Louise with a concerned look on her face. "There is no way Icharus would be so late." finished Louise. "So do you have her address?" wondered James. "Yes, somewhere... here." she said with the card in her hands. "Any point waiting round longer?" asked James. "No, let's go. TAXI" said Louise not actually indicated as all her moves where actually taken up that panel.

Panel 5:

This Panel was from inside a Taxi that had pulled up, Louise had gone in first and James was coming in second. It was not actually as rough as it was for James getting into the Taxi back in Bazalonia. "So where to, hun?" asked the Taxi driver his taxi licence could be seen but the detail was barely able to be made out. "Just go to this address." Louise said as she handed him a card with some hand-writting on it. "Do you know it?" Louise asked. "Yep, I come from that Area. I'll take you there in a Jiffy." said the Taxi Driver.

Panel 6:

The Taxi was outside what was a quite nice looking house, Louise and James where outside the Taxi and James was fixing up the money for the Taxi. "Here you go. Keep the change." said James. "Much Appreciated" came the voice from the Taxi. "Hurry, up James. Are we going to knock on the door or what?" commented Louise

Panel 7:

The Taxi had gone and both of the reporters where at the front door of Icharus' home. "I suppose it's my turn to knock." said James as he knocked on the door with the appropriate *knovk* *knock *knock* words appearing in the Panel. "..." said JAmes, indicating a portion of silence. "No one's home." He said. "So what do you want to do?" added James though he knew very well what Louise is going to do next.

Page 3:
Panel 8:

Louise had knelt down and was pulling a hairpin out of her hair. "Make sure no one is around." she told James "You know..." started James before he was interrupted by Louise "Shh.. I'm concentrating." she replied.. "The doors...." said James once more trying to get something across to Louise who was headstrong and obviously wouldn't listen as she interrupted him again with a "Shh."

Panel 9:

"Open" said James as he turned the door handle and had the door fully open with a swing. Louise had stood up and started to dust herself down not that she was dusty but she also glared at James in a 'How dare he' manner. "Ladies first" he said as he used his arms to direct Louise into the house with a smirk on his face. "Wipe that smirk off. The wind might change and you'll stay like that." said Louise, that was the only real comeback that she had.

Panel 10:

The house was immaculate there was nothing that seemed out of place, well to the normal eye. James was using his Superpowers was using his X-ray vision. He was looking and noticed a shape that looked like it could be a body, but he could not tell, there was something messing up his X-ray vision. "Hey, let's go this way." said James as he started walking towards whatever it was that he could not see... "*sigh* alright hold your horses" said Louise as she started to follow James as well. "What do you expect to find down there anyway. It's just the laundry." added Louise, who was right it was a laundry. "I just have a hunch" said James

Page 4:
Panel 11:

They entered what was the Laundy to find the dead body of a woman lying on the floor, James nealt down and put his fingers to the bodies neck. "She's dead." said James... "This... This... This is Icharus." said Louise. ICharus' dead body was lying opn the ground. "Well, I hate to be cold but what now?" said James whose face was somber his expression was that one of remorse, "Why wasn't I here to stop this?" he thought. "First look for some leads and then we better call the Authorities." said Louise

Panel 12:

James used his x-ray vision to look for things and found a laptop buried in an unusal place. Under the pots and pans in the kitchen. Louise meanwile was scouring the office. She said "Have you found anything, James?", who replied "Maybe, not sure yet, What about you?" he countered. "Nope Nothing. Where is her damned laptop" she said in frustration obviously expecting the laptop to be in the office which it was not. "You mean this laptop?" said James.

Panel 13:

Louise had poked her head out of the office. "Yes, that's it." she said James was standing nearly where he was before however he was holding the laptop in his hands. "Okay, so we need to get the police." said Louise. "I'll ring them on the house phone" said Louise "before disappearing?" added James. "Precisely."

Page 5:
Panel 14:

A very small panel will Louise on the phone, she spoke down the phone saying "Police?"

Panel 15:

Another Small panel that created a block so the rest of the panels on the page would be in one rectangular block, the content of the panel however was James a few houses up from Icharus' house calling for a Taxi.

Panel 16:

Louise and James where once again in a Taxi... "to this Hotel please." Louise said once again handing over a card with the address on it and the name for the Hotel they where staying at.

Panel 17:

They are at the Hotel, "2 rooms booked under Smith." said Louise. "can I have a look at some ID?" said the Clark. James held his ID card for the Clerk to read. "Thank you.. That would be rooms 167 and 168. Hmm It says here you have some mail. Do you want to get that for you?"

Page 6:
Panel 18:

While not anything related with the story this panel showed a the collection of previous comic covers with the simple statement. "The Adventures of SuperDude, Internationally recognised as an A class comic." In appropriately large letters.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast




The Turori Eels welcomed back highly regarded central defender Cocoabo number six in their matchday eleven world cup qualifying match against Bushes Been Quaked. It was widely expected that number six would not return until matchday 12, but head coach Jualiar Vumaou opted to put the experienced central defender back into the lineup a week early as the squad traveled to Anvera, Bushes Been Quaked for the second leg against the Quakmybushian colony. It would result in a clean sweep for the Eels who posted a clean sheet in a 3-0 victory earlier in the campaign on home soil.

The weather was right at the Anvera Stadium, giving the home fans one reason to smile. In fact, it would be the only reason the home fans would have to enjoy themselves, as Bushes Been Quaked never looked like competing with the finely trained flock of Turorian Cocoabos. Cocoabo number 19 netted twice in the opening half hour before an incredible header from Cocoabo number 11 actually was caught by Bushes Been Quaked goalkeeper Ivan Leonidovic Spasskij in the chest, but the shear force of the impact pushed Spasskij back into the net with ball at arms, resulting in the third goal of the match for Turori. Spasskij was dazed after the impact, and while not seriously injured, BBQ coach K.C. Masterpiece wasted little time in substituting the keeper and replacing him with second reserve keeper Aleksej Nikolaevic Komarov.

The Eels would do one better in a second half that saw far fewer chances, but it was Cocoabo number three, who had joined the game at the half replacing the recovering Cocoabo number six, who converted off a Turorian corner after Komarov had mishandled in the area, the ball ricocheting off a foot then directly in the path of the charging Cocoabo number three who made no mistake putting Turori 4-0 up.

The result is incredibly significant to the Island Emirate as other result in the group have gone the way of the positive. Oliverry, who still trail the Eels by just one point in the standings, were able to easily dispose of Ropa-Topia, meaning the gap between Turori and the fourth place team and a place in the Cup of Harmony instead of the World Cup Finals has doubled from just three points, to now six points and +21 goal differential, allowing for the first time, a small amount of room for error as the Eels still have yet to face their four main foe in the qualification battle in the tournaments second half of the stage.

The clean sheet has also been encouraging for the Eels who have moved back into second place overall in the race to conceding the fewest amount of goals, level with Tadjikistan and Krytenia in chasing the ultra-efficient group 6 surprise package Cuation, who have conceded just 6 in the opening 11 matches, nearly a half-goal per game average. Group 6 has certainly been the group of Karela so far in the tournament, also containing level-second placed Tadjikistan and just one goal conceded behind, group leader New Montreal States having conceded just 9.



http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 4
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/bushesbeenquaked.gif Bushes Been Quaked 0




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)
[8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407)
[9] :: Flock in Florida Falter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11869660&postcount=444)
[10] :: Flock Back on Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875294&postcount=485)
[11] :: Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879759&postcount=513)

Where are they from?

Imagine a first grade student goes into a university and tells the scientists what they do wrong. This happens in Rejistanian soccer currently. No one expected the H5SR inquisition, if you allow the pun. Midfielder Heje Kija, striker Vetu Xeda and now goalie Nythui Xara who hails from the H9SR team Sderak Talinhe. It is virtually incredible that these leagues, which are not anything like high suddenly have such a high amount of skilled players. But I do not want to complain, I want to enjoy it while it lasts. There are of course people who think this is all a big trick and something really is a problem here. But they should remember: It were not the highly overpayed H1SR and The League players who brought the team back to the winning road. It were the lower leagues, players like Kija'he and Xeda'he who just went for it.

Seeing this paragraph, the schiavone national team can maybe feel less bad about losing to a team in which 3 amateurs played. They were the best players on the pitch. Kija'he just was there when needed, won many duels, stole the ball from Schiavones quite often. Fr. Symeon the Bold was exposed to a share of rejistanian kaletri since he most often lost the ball to her. Xeda'he scored the 1:1 with an awesome shot and shot the corner, which Syku Lyku Desnike'tes headed past Jack Holmes for the 2:1. Despite the conceded goal, Nythiu Xera was quite well.

World Cup Chat

Brought to you By: OSPN

"Welcome to World Cup chat im Dan Reynolds'
"And im Adam Plumbtree."
"Lets see the scores here from MD 12":

The Mice of Miceland [2] Vuam and Isma [0]

"Well no suprise there Plummy, the Mice beating Vuam and Isma."
"Yeah Dan alot of people thought V and I might have had something this cup but boy, could that be any farther from the truth, they're in eighth place."
"Wow isnt that something."

Okielahoma [1] Northern Caesarea [1]

"Wow the kids sure are playing well out there eh Plummy?"
"Right you are Dan we are 131 in the world and sitting in 4th place right now, and not a shabby group either.'
"Yeah thats right."
"Lets see its Wilson getting our goal and wow thats a nice one."
"Rihgto Dan thats a strike alright from the wing there."
"So we sit in 4th place now and a big game with Casari next."

Harlesburg [0] Anastasiania [0]

"Wow that was an exciting game to watch there Dan.'
"You bet Plummy."
"Lets see here... a total of 2 shots on goal, youd think its 22 TuxBots playing on the field out there."

System Karela [0] Casari [3]

"Speaking of TuxBots'
"Oh yes there they are... and Casari continues to roll here, they are 11 and 0 and zilch, a very impressive run."
"Yeah if only someone could kill Milo the Cat, then the team might get disheartened."
"Yeah, but then the team would murder the offensive nation."
"Right"

Ancient Byzantine [0] The Islands of Qutar [7]
"SLANI"
"Good night Ancient Byzantine SUCKS."
"A goal differential of -41 Plummy, thats just disgraceful."
"yeah thats what no BoF gets you."
"Umm".

"Well folks we'll leave you with the current standings and until next time..
GO SOONERS!"

---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 11 11 0 0 33-9 +24 33
[2] The Islands of Qutar 11 9 1 1 44-10 +34 28
[3] Northern Caesarea 11 8 1 2 27-12 +15 25
4- Okielahoma 11 5 3 3 24-18 +6 18
5- Anastasiania 11 5 3 3 20-15 +5 18
6- The Mice of Miceland 11 4 1 6 15-19 -4 13
7- System Karela 11 3 0 8 8-18 -10 9
8- Vuam and Isma 11 1 3 7 12-26 -14 6
9- Harlesburg 11 1 3 7 10-25 -15 6
10- Ancient Byzantine 11 0 1 10 5-46 -41

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Two expected losses but good news ahead

Well we got past the hardest part of our schedule and there are still 8 matchdays left to go. This is a good thing folks, a really good thing. Also our media rating has improved a full point now its almost equal with our fact checking deparment (B but they can't back that up).

Anyway onto the games. The Warriors had the two toughest games of the campaign, again, and again we failed in horrible fashion losing 3-1 to LE and 2-0 to Bettia. The good news though is that Lisburn Mateys lost to Marceau State, a no hoper team that provides us with some good fortune to stay in third after finishing our battles against the top two something Lisburn has not completed. We also play our next game against the Mateys in the most key game of the qualifiers so far. Anything else but a win is a bad result for the Warriors and could throw some fuel on the on the sparks of people who are calling for the firing of Jamie Smith. Although that is unlikely.

Now for the match reports:
LE match:

Coach Jamie Smith's reactions: We couldn't beat them even in our high point last qualifiers. I'm not suprised we couldn't do it here one cup later. I'm upset at how we are performing, don't get me wrong, but there is no reason for us to scrap everything because we lost two games to one of the top 3 teams in the World. We'll get on with the qualifying. I think we have a good shot against Bettia.

Match Report:
The Warriors came in ready to play and did just that after Albentine scored in the 13th minute for a dream start. The Warriors then continued the offensive but could not muster any more real good oppurtunities. They were able to stop the Terminator offensive until the 44th minute when Cory Carson received a pass from Damion to put in the equalizer. It all went downhill from there as the Warriors conceded two more second half goals, one to Damion and one to Seth Fair.

Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Albentine 13)
Liverpool England 3 (Carson 44, Damion 62, Seth Fair 70)

Milchama Man of the Match:
It's a losing effort so none.

Bettia Match:

Jamie Smith quote: What an awful awful game. I apologize to Milchama fans everywhere who had to watch us tonight. We were unorganized, ill prepared and were flat out played. I'm sorry for my part in tonight's disaster and I promise that there will be no more repeats of such things in qualifying or in the World Cup *crosses fingers* or the Cup of Harmony. They were who we expected them to be! They were who we expected them to be! You play to win the game! Playoffs! Playoffs! We can't F---ing win a game and your talking about the Playoffs! Oh yeh and we'll beat Lisburn Mateys. I guarantee it.

Match Report:
None. It was too horrible to report on.

Final Score:
Milchama 0 (Highly offensive and still shut out, shoot me now)
Bettia 2 (Ffagan 21, 57)

Raging Penguins Report:
A 4-0 win over Assegai Developments gives them 21 points which is good enough for 4th place and one point back of third. This broods well for The Team who could very well qualify.

Elven Sports Network
Currently Airing: Football Central

"Good evening ladies and gents, this is your host Jason Klien, along with the beautiful Jennifer Sar, and special guest, Marauders starting center back, Gabriel Florez, who has taken time out of her busy schedule to stop in the studio today.

Well let's start this show off right, what's up with the you and the rest of the squad Gabriel? I know you put a solid win on Dorian and Sonya in the last match, but apart from the squads you are supposed to defeat, the squad is really do very little in the qualifying. Can you provide us some insight as to what is going wrong?

"Well Jason, to be honest, we're just getting outplayed out there, and it is really a shame because coach Revtron has given us the best oppurtunites we could to win, but we're not fufilling our end on the pitch. I know that Marsha and Liliam are taking espicially hard, both have been putting in hours after our regularly schedule pratices to sharpen their skills."

"I know when I was on the squad, many of us spent time after pratice, so that isn't new. Soo Gabriel, what exactly are you and others doing to bolster your strenth and minimize the mistakes?"

"Good question Jen. Well we've been doing weaving drills, one on one, extra time on set pieces, and the an hour or so on penalties, which are increasingly difficult with the ever growing skill in net by Martin. Overall, we're mostly just working on the little things and reasserting how important the basic fundamentals that every student learns at the academy.

"Speaking of St. Louis, I've heard that you two have been seen at the Great Leader's mansion. Is there something going on there, or was Tobias doing something for the team?

"Well, there is something going on. After our recent trip to Dorian and Sonya, we witnessed this nice older couple who were celebrating their aniversery and it suddenly sprung on me that I have never really had a personal life. On the plane trip back home, I decided with as much as I've accomplished thus far in my life, that I deserve a little personal happiness, and I knew Martin was still single, so I asked him out. The date went off without a hitch, and we've had two more since then."

"Well it sounds like your life is running pretty smoothly now Gabriel, congratulations. I have one last question before we let you leave. What do you think about Jason?"

*giggles*Well he's an alright guy: smart, witty, easy on the eyes, and deep pockets, all in all, not a bad piece of elf."

Broadcast suddenly goes out

Demot Daily ~ Can We Do the Do?

After a complete thrashing of the wanna be System Karelans of Divensi, the Dynamo faced a tough test in the the squad from the great nation of Commerce Heights. The team was unable to produce any offence and was the unfortunate victim of three Slani goals. Now the team falls from the last qualifying spot in the group to Sativaville, who crushed the Divensi squad, due to goal differential. The last time the two squads met, the Dynamo pulled out a suprising two all draw in Sativaville. The squad is now looking to do that result better, acheiving a much needeed victory and having the confidence to do so, as they will be in front of their fanatic fans in the beautiful city of Skyhaven. However, the squad is assured to get a tough fight from "Stoners" as they have only suffered two losses so far in the tournament, just like our own squad. As a matter of fact, the two squads hold identical records, with Sativaville only having one additional spot in the tie breaking goal differential column. Going by the stats, the Dynamo should be favored as their offence has been gelling quite better than their respected oppisition, collecting twenty-five goals to the "Stoners" twenty-three, however the home squads defence has been shakier. However, the squad has been playing greatly pass their expected level, and there is no sign as of yet to suggest that they will hit any snag, in fact Masteron promises that.

"Yeah they are a good squad and all, but hey, we're just as good, and our current record shows it. They might have that additional year of expierence, but we have the confidence and vitality of youth on our squad. The newcomers to the squad, most off that squad that achieved second in the AOCAF U21s, are full of enthusiasm and have that expierence of playing and succeeding in high pressure games. I see no reason why we shouldn't go out there in front of our fans and on our pitch, and not take three points away from this match. You can mark my words, the Dynamo will be victorious tommorow night."

The air of confidence is reassuring, as I even find myself looking at the schedule with glee, and how the table might shape up. The squad still does have worthy foes on their schedule ahead, but it is likely that these squads will also beat up on each other and make it all too easy for the Dynamo to qualify if they can win at least two of those four matches. If they can do that, then the next few months will be near bliss for the citizens of this country.

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

Bedistan Sports Television presents...

Lions Thirty-one : The Players

[voiceover]
The Bedistan Lions. Arguably the best football team of this day and age anywhere in the world, at least if you ask anyone who's not from Starblaydia. Four-time world champions and ranked among the top five national teams in the world for the past forty years. But what makes this team tick? Who are the people that team up to create all these awesome achievements?

These are the players. These are...Lions Thirty-one.

Fancy-type text, logos, and such appear on screen. Beneath them, the text: "Player Profile: Bekk Sherman".

[voiceover]
In 2069, Bedistan was in trouble. The anarchist nation of Tingitana, one time a colony of Bedistan, had chosen to take revenge on its former overlords. With virtually no warning, various anarchist groups moved west, catching nearly the entirety of Bedistan off guard. The government fell, and the entire population of Bedistan was evacuated to a new home in the Atlantian Oceania region.

Not everyone chose to move to this new land, though. Some Bedistani citizens saw this as the perfect time to start life anew somewhere else. Ryan Sherman and his wife Maria were two of these people. They, along with their nine-year-old son Alan, moved to the Starblaydi city of Tabeck. Alan Sherman spent the rest of his childhood in Tabeck, then moved to the national capital of Jhanna for a more lucrative job opportunity in 2084. Shortly after arriving, he would meet Ann Richards, a fellow Bedistani expatriate. The two dated for three years and eventually married. Four years later, on January 27, 2091, Alan and Ann had their first child.

[Sherman]
Well, my father told me his rationale for choosing my name was to honor the place where he and his parents were able to start their new life, away from the Tingitanan anarchists who destroyed their old home. Their house in Tabeck was just a few miles from the coast, and my dad would go down to the lake every chance he got. Lake Bekk was pretty much synonymous with his post-invasion childhood, and so he named me after the lake.

[voiceover]
Rebecca Nicole Sherman, having been born to two very avid football fans, was exposed to the sport at a very young age. She showed great talent on all the various youth teams in the Jhanna area on which she played. Starblaydia is, of course, one of the greatest footballing nations in the world, and as such she had plenty of opportunities for development there. But she retained a strong Bedistani identity from her parents.

[Sherman]
Ever since I was...oh, I dunno, probably about eight...I knew that I eventually wanted to play for the Bedistan national team. And obviously I was eligible, what with both of my parents being Bedistani. So I made that my life's goal.

[voiceover]
At the age of thirteen, Bekk was contacted by the manager of New Haverford Albion, who wanted her to enroll in the club's youth academy. She accepted, and her ever-supportive parents moved to the "new" Bedistan for the first time in order to be with her. Bekk stayed with Albion for three years before receiving a contract offer from the Jamaica Giants that she just couldn't refuse.

[Sherman]
Jamaica wanted me to play as a starter. In the IAFL! I was sixteen at the time, and that's a pretty rare opportunity. I did what I think any sane person would do - I said "hell yes!" [laughter] And then I was even more surprised when Vanessa Carpenter offered me a chance to represent Bedistan in World Cup 31. I don't think I slept for two weeks after that, I was so happy and excited!

[voiceover]
Bekk Sherman is still flying high and has enjoyed great success in World Cup 31 so far, having scored seven of the Lions' forty goals in their first eleven matches, including two in the team's most recent match, a 4-0 win over Brownwick. When asked what she thought of the team's current run, she had this to say:

[Sherman]
Well, it feels great. It'd really be awesome if we became the first nation to win a fifth World Cup with me on the team. But I'm not gonna speculate yet. I mean, we're not even in Vilita yet! Or the Lowland Clans, for that matter.

[voiceover]
One thing is for certain, though. This eighteen-year-old from Jhanna certainly has a bright future ahead of her.

Are we Mice or Men?

Well the answer is that we were the Men and they were the Mice in more ways than one. The Islands of Qutar continue their fantastic qualifying run, the most successful to date so far, and to think that people were worried about the inexperience of the team. Well the home crowd welcomed their heros into the stadium with a sound so loud it was described as a "hat-knocking off sound" by many fans. The game started off quite slowly perhaps the Qutari team suffering the effects of jet-lag from the trip back from Okielahoma, but about ten minutes into the game Walsh caught his first whiff of goal, taking a clever shot from outside the box that WinslowMouse could only parry out for a corner, the corner itself almost resulting in a goal with Froggatt heading just wide. With the forwards having their first taste of goal, they pressed forward with Walsh providing the first goal after Armaos unselfishly passed the ball for Walsh to slot home. After the goal The Mice of Miceland pulled back completely trying to seal up the leak, and never really venturing forward at all. This achieved the task of frustrating the Qutari attack, although inside the first half some clever footwork from Armaos almost undid the defence completely and if it were not for the quick reactions of WinslowMouse it would have been 2-0 to the good going into the second half.

Philips decided to making an attaking substitution at half time taking off Daynes for the young Harvey making his second start for his country, if the plan was to introduce some more pace into the attack it certainly paid off with Harvey running circles around the strangely large mice, and in the fifty second minute after managing once again to slip past the Miceland defence he slotted in the perfect cross for Armaos to head into the goal. Soon afterwards Harvey burst into the box again only to be brought down by the tail of ThirdMouse, but the referee ruled that it wasn't a foul as according to the rules tails are not mentioned. After some strong complaining by the captain Wildgoose, the referee in an unprecedented move subbed himself off! Unfortunalty no penalty was awarded but Walsh got some sweet revenge by smacking home a stunning goal from just outside the box. After securing the game the Qutari players were happy to play the rest of the game of Miceland's pace with no real threat appearing of the Qutari goal.


The Islands of Qutar 3 - 0 The Mice of Miceland
Walsh, 14', 61' ...........................
Armaos, 52' .....................................................................................

Group Five Table
.....
http://members.lycos.co.uk/rockface2004/table4.png

Spaamanian Confidence Trickster Caught!

Yes it seems that the nefarious Spaamanian individual taking advantage of the trusting nature of the Qutari people has been caught in a sting operation by the Qutari police. Apparently a false advertisment was placed in a Spaamanian publication asking for anyone with Chicken Teeth to contact the Qutari FA. After the individual, who can't be named for legal reasons, approched an undercover police officer and offered the item he was promptly put under arrest, it is unknown if the Spaamanian which to extradite the individual although Qutari are keen to see the individual punished for his crimes and believe that would not happen in Spaam. And don't worry the Chicken Teeth have been donated to the Museum of Natural History in the capital if you want to see them up close.

- Matchday 12 RP Cutoff -


MD12 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11880200&postcount=13)

The Bloco'yce Courier



Nobody Panic! They'll Lose Against Starblaydia and Esseck!

The Team has managed to worm its foul way into third place again, but at the wrong time. If they had wanted to get into third and qualify, they'd have done it after playing Starbladyia. Hah, suckers, they'll never qualify, and we'll be pleased as a punch-soaked penguin when they lose out. We hope that they feel unbearable disappointment when they get crushed to bits under the heel of the first-ranked team. Their four-player team stands no chance against the Football Playing forces which drive against them!

Oh, we forgot to mention, while we were busy covering the Weltdown Street Rebellion, and the on-going frost-farmer uprising in Southern Justtundra, that DMYS and Mrs. Tweezly have successfully escaped the governments law-enforcement forces, our secret agents, SWAT squads, Terrorist Forces, and lone-wolf Crime Noir private eye personell, and managed to catch up with Derrick Snaddly and Deadly Penguin just in time to defeat Assagai Developments four to zero. It was, as goes without saying, a most brutal and bloody match, with an irritated Mrs. Tweezly lecturing the Assagai strikers for the better part of both halves, and DMYS acting as a geletinous, hungry wall between the Assagai team and The Team's goal. Not to mention Derrick Snaddly's new four-year plan, and his five month - zero payment deal, coupled with Deadly Penguin wielding a most skillfully used strand of hair. It was brutal.

We wish that the aggressive Black Oxen would return at some point to give this newly populated 'Team' a good drubbing, and send them back with even more bruises than their 4-1 match resulted in. The Oxen used pokers and metal "horns" to beat down an out-matched Derrick Snadly, and held off Deadly Penguin with a most frightfully painted Jack-in-the-Box for a good portion of that match.

As for the game against Rordia, DMYS released his newly-found spores into the oncoming Rordian formation, causing mass confusion, panic, yells of "We're being gassed!", coughing and small yellow slimemolds to disrupt the Rordian's clever strategy of over-coming the violent 'Team'. While this occured, the ref, intolerant of such unorhtodox methods nearly red-carded the mold-made Defender, just as Deadly Penguin dispatched him with a well-placed thwack with a mallet. As much as we hate that damned penguin, the look on the referee's face was Priceless, even when we put it on Ebay.

Soon after, Snaddly, taking advantage of the Rordians' confusion, made it to the opposite goal post and began to talk up his sales. The Rordian, obviously having witnessed Snaddly in action, dispatched the Door-to-Door Salesman with a swift kick to the balls and a "No Soliciting" sign.

Mrs. Tweezly, intolerant of the fans' cussing, hollering, and general rough-housing, made her way into the seats and was not present on the pitch for the rest of the game, instead making it her business to silence each and every one of the fans by row and seat number. Many complaints have been issued against the ex-teacher, due to her excessive and forcefull use of the phrase "Excuse Me," while quelling backchat.

The Team won those two games, but, remember, Esseck and Starblaydia are up and coming, and will stamp out the pathetic 'Team'. Stamp them out good and hard!

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: Horrible day..Truly horrible as my man..sniff.. Trent Rauda was found dead in his hotel room late last night. No word yet from the Demot authorities, but apparently, there was no foul play.

The Stoners, appealed to the World Cup Committee to have the match postponed, but due to each side not having any concurrent off days, the match was ordered to be played.

Trent Estorga, took over in goal, but Sativaville had lost even before it began. Demot took early advantage of the grieving squad led by Samantha Black, who scored just 40 second into the match, She would go on to score 3 more times, the 1st time Sativaville has allowed a player to score 4 goals in a match. Ms. Black scored in the 15th, 38th and 67th minutes as well as her 40-second goal.

Emmanuel Adelman did manage to find the back of the net in the 73rd minute, to aleve some of the loss, but the loss of one teammate can't be beaten with any amount of goals.

The next match for Sativaville will be at Elves Security Forces, but the minds of the team, and our nation will be on Trent Rauda.

TRENT RAUDA 1985-2006

DOWNLOADING DAY TWELVE SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY TWELVE SCORE- GREEN WOMBAT 2- SCHIAVONIA 3

GOALS: GW:HERMES CONRAD (7,8) 35TH AND 43RD MINUTES
SCH: Seamus Bradley: 17TH MINUTE, 25TH MINUTE; Jermaine Edwards: 89TH MINUTE


GAME SUMMARY: Green wombat came home and fought hard against top-ranked Schiavonia, but a late goal by Jermaine Edwards, gave the visitors a 3-2 win.

Seamus Bradley scored twice early, giving Schiavonia an early 2-0 lead, but the play of Hermas Conrad tied the match up at 2-2 just before the half.

The story of the 2nd half was Fr. Symeon, who relentlessly kept the FZW clear of any decent shots on net, and he lead the last minute charge that lead to the winning goal.

The loss drops Green Wombat back into a 4th place tie with Tynelia, but the FZW still remain 2 points behind Az-Cz for the last spot.

Polamoa Press
“We like alliteration”

Paladins provide the pain with 5-1 drubbing of Raptors

NEW MONTREAL STATES – The only time this match was close was during the national anthems. Before a minute had even ticked away NMS was on the board, after Andre Darcy scored on a long ball from just outside the box. The shell-shocked Raptor defense tried their best to recover, but they couldn’t keep Darcy from scoring again just nine minutes later. Before the first half was even finished Darcy had earned himself a hat-trick, much to the delight of the home crowd.

Down 3-0 after 45 minutes, the Raptors opened the second half sluggishly. It then came as a shock when they managed to get on the board, when Denise Little pounced on a misplayed ball in the Paladins’ end, cutting the deficit to 3-1. Unfortunately that bright spot would quickly be dimmed, as in the 63rd Raptor defender Ken Weathers earned a red card for an over exuberant tackle on Billy Corcoran. NMS was quick to utilize the man-advantage, and Lucien St-Germain struck in the 70th to put the Paladins up 4-1. Utterly deflated, the next fifteen minutes saw half-hearted Raptor attacks easily brushed aside by New Montreal States’ tough defense.

The match featured one last ugly surprise towards the end of regulation. Following an out-of-bounds call, players on both teams exchanged words, and Raptors started throwing punches. When it was finally calmed down, Jeff Yaneohe and Ashley Campbell had earned reds, while yellows went to Cassandra Campbell, Tara Pellegi, Jessica Colenti, and Bart Sheriff from Aurendia. If that wasn’t enough, the officials awarded NMS a penalty kick. Racker Barnslow followed through on the kick, putting the Paladins up 5-1 for the final.

While no one has been officially eliminated yet, this loss makes qualification that much less likely for the Raptors. Now in sixth place with 16 points, the short-handed Raptors will head to Commerce Heights next, where they can hopefully start a winning streak and salvage any hopes they may have of qualifying.

Scoring:
1. NMS (A. Darcy) 1st (Assist: O. Jones)
2. NMS (A. Darcy) 10th (Assist: B. Corcoran)
3. NMS (A. Darcy) 37th (Assist: F. Labranche)
4. A (D. Little 5) 59th
5. NMS (L. St-Germain) 70th (Assist: S. Briscoe)
6. NMS (R. Barnslow) 88th PK

QAZOXIAN TIMES

TRENT RAUDA 1894-1915 (ooc: Sativaville's time frame is "current" while Qazox' time is off by almost a 100 years, hence the differing dates.)

Shocking news today as Sativaville's star keeper, Trent Rauda was found dead in his hotel room in Demot late last night. Police have ruled out suicide and foul play. Results of his autopsy are due to be released later today. As many of our readers know, Trent Rauda went to College here in Qazox, in fact was voted a 3-time all-Qazoxian keeper for the University of Qazox-Las Vitas. Trent was awarded the Golden Bail for best Keeper in 1912 and the Golden Boot for best overall player in 1913, only the 2nd keeper to do so, the other being the Black Oxen's current Head coach, Reggie Hassok, who won that award in 1899. A public memorial will be held in Trent's hometown of Juana Marie in Sativaville. He is survived by his parents, John and Margret Rauda, his sister, Treena, and his fiancee Renee Youa of Lake Porter City, Qazox. Trent Rauda, keeper for Sativaville's national team and former All-Qazoxian, dead at the age of 21.

News of Trent's death was heard by the Qazoxian national team, about 2 hours before their game with Eseck. A few of the current players on the Black Oxen either played with or against Trent in college, notably, Hernan Cortez, a back-up keeper for Qazox, whom Trent backed up in 1911 for UQLV. Others who had played against Trent were Kyle Horton and David Star, both of the University of Qazox-Pika City. Kyle, who scored a winning goal against Trent, which allowed UQPC to win the 1912 Southern Confernce title, had this to say:

I'm truly sorry about the death of Trent. He was one of the best keepers I have ever played against. Trent didn't care if he won or lost, he just wanted to be out on the pitch playing. He will be missed.

A memorial fund, started by the Black Oxen, will go to help inner-city children learn how to play football and will also award scholarships in Trent's name for both the University of Qazox-Pika City and Sativaville State. Donations will be accepted at all 58Bank of Qazox locations in the country.

With the news of Trent's death still hanging in the air, Qazox took the field against an also somber Eseck team. A moment of silence preceded the national anthems and both sides stood shoulder-to-shoulder at half time, when the crowd was told about Trent's passing and the Sativaville anthem was played.

The somber mood carried though out the game as niether side seemed sharp, but as the game progressed, instinct and andredaline shook off some cobwebs and in the 56th minute, Kyle Horton, who was starting for an injured Aki Fa'Mau-Tana, scored to put Qazox up 1-0. Kyle asked for the ball, and after the game, told reporters that he was going to send it to Trent's family. Eseck, after giving up that 1st goal, came back just 7 minutes later, when Mas Sarus scored to tie the game at 1-1. But Qazox wouldn't let another chance at a win slip away, and int he 80th minute, Rene LaTreque added the winnign gaol, giving Qazox the 2-1 win.

Up next for the Black Oxen is at Quakmybush, who are currently in 4th palce, 5 points behind Qazox and 2 points behind the still surprising Raging Penguins.
Qazox cannot afford to look past this match to the re-match with Starblaydia, as a loss to both Quakmybush and Starblaydia, could see Qazox drop into 4th place. Quakmybush needs to win to keep a shot at qualifinng, so both teams have much to gain with a win, but much more to lose with a loss.

Elven Times
Rock it?

Do not let the press reports fool you, the Marauders did not, I repeat, DID NOT, defeat Divensi. Yes a team from the ESF, with only ESF born players defeated the Divensi national squad, but it was not the Marauders. In a move likely caused by the low level of intelect found in that nation, that they arrive not in Capri, but in Raynor City and at the Raynor City Rockers pratice pitch. The Rockers thought it to be an exihbition match, and gladly welcomed the match, though the manager did think it strange that WCC officials refereed the match.

Well the Rockers, who won the Premiership last season over the Char Sara Inferno in penalties after the Inferno made a late run up the table, aquiring stars from Assegai, to get into the championship game, had troubles with their oppenets. Of course this was to be expected when several of their starters are on the national team and they were going up against a national team of another nation. They went down early off of what appeared to be a clearing by one of the many idiot looking Divensi defenders. Raz Walni was soo stunned by the ridiculous attempt on goal, that he forgot to save it as he was laughing right as it trickled into the netting. The small amount of people who showed up to the pratice fell out of the fifty foot wooden stands and smack onto the groud. However the twenty-nine elves all had no injuries despite the fall, but all were treated for being dehydrated.

After the spectacle of the goal and amazing tumbles, the game once again became the focus of attention, and the Rockers were quick to make adjustments to this eccentric formation that their uninspired foes fielded, and had the equaliser in the 23rd minute off of the budding star of Exoap Syvoda. Syvoda really got the attention of the guests when he scored again in eight minutes later by jumping a clear 10 feet high in the air, and netting home a horrible attempt at a cross by Jerome Nell.

Try as they might, the Rockers were unable to push anymore goals past the disgraceful all defender play, and had to settle for just the two to one victory. However the big suprise came when they were informed that they had just won their country a match in the World Cup qualifying, seeing as how every member on the team was an elf that was either born in the ESF or their parents were. Manager Tesari Zinifae was soo taken aback but the greivious error, that he puked all over the official. The Elven Footballing Association has since looked into the error and has contacted every other squad that will be traveling to the ESF for the qualifying matches that the home matches will be played in Capri, at the Hatire Memorial, in order to clear up any confusion those squads might of had.

Article by Ron Santapa

[OOC - I freely acknowledge I have blatently stolen virtually all of the below from a Casari post in the discussion thread. Irony? Satire? Laziness? None of the above? I don't know either]

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

IMPERIAL SQUAD DRUBBED BY LIVERPOOL ENGLAND
Bizarre Sequence of Events Disturbs Team

By Anna Comneno

In a wholly anticipated result, the Holy Empire were dominated from beginning to end last night by Liverpool England, eventually going down to a crushing 5-1 scoreline. Rumours from ordinary reality, however, suggest that Imperial preparations were badly hit by a bad case of squad-wide food poisoning which forced the quad to running to the bathroom in shifts during the match. Furthermore, a bad bit of planning on the part of the home team had the match being scheduled same time as - and adjacent to - the National Streakers Convention of Liverpool England, which led to several naked home supporters distracting the visitors at semi-regular intervals over the 90 minutes. Usually when it looked like the Imperials might actually be about to score. The Elvis impersonater who parachuted into the stadium during the match was a minor distraction in comparison; more worrying was a misunderstanding on the part of FALE that forced a relocation of venue from Liverpool England's usual home ground to an empty cow pasture adjacent to the Convention Centre following the collapse of the main venue.

That's what the rumours say, anyway. The reality of the situation may in fact be entirely different, and the above description of match events may be little more than a national hallucination caused by temporary overconsumption of dodgy cheese sandwiches.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_macabees.png The Macabees 1-2 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

Ariddia concedes a goal… but continues winning streak

The Rouge-et-Noirs travelled abroad yet again for a third consecutive away match, but their opponent’s home crowd did not deter the Ariddians, as they squeezed through another victory.

Cécile Granville conceded her first goal in four matches, but Kyaw and Simon scored for the Ariddian side, ensuring that the final tally was in the Rouge-et-Noirs’ favour. Another narrow win, which will do little to help Ariddia increase its goal differential, but a win nonetheless.

“Ariddians have fond memories of the Macabees, of course,” coach Evgheny Melenciuc said. “It was here that an Ariddian team won the Futsal World Cup. ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/International_Futsal_Soccer_Tournament) And the Golden Cup is still back home in Ariddia.”

The Rouge-et-Noirs have now climbed back into second place, two points behind a very successful Jeruselem… who nonetheless struggled today against lowly Cyredel, defeating them by only two goals to one. Kericia, much to Ariddia’s benefit, was held to a one-all draw by Magnus Valerius, while Geisenfried continued to impress with another 5-1 victory, this time over Montegrande.

Meanwhile, Ropa-Topia lifted themselves into a potential qualifying spot by defeating Spaamanian Plijous, and the Backwardistanis climbed to the fourth place in their group after hosting and beating the Reanimated States. All in all, a very good day for Uhuhland.

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f141/DarthBunny/ns_stuff/sg-title.png
Read SG online - http://sports.rta/gazette/

Back in top 3 due to 2-0 win in Spaamanian Plijous and 3-3 draw Spruitland and Turori
by Charles Neumann

Today the headline says it all, because this reporter it going to need this space for something else. I read something in a newspaper from the Holy Empire of Alasdair I Frosticus. They called it a bad bit of planning that their match was in the same city, at the same time and day as the National Streakers Convention in Liverpool England. That is not bad planning. It was very bad planning that the Ropa-Topian Streakers Convention was today, while I was in Spaamanian Plijous watching our team's game there. That convention really should have been later, during the Turori match, a match the Ropa-Topian team is almost certain to lose, so combining that with something fun would have been a good idea. I don't know about Turori's stand on streaking and public nudity, but here that would be legal and it might even have provided a good distraction for their team and that could have worked in our advantage. That's why I am using this space, where I actually should be writing more about the match in Spaamanian Plijous, to make a request to all the Ropa-Topian football fans on the Isle of Uhm who bought tickets for the match against Turori:

Support your team and country. Show up naked, please!



Schedule
10. Home: Fmjphoenix - W 3-1 (Away: W 3-1)
11. Away: Oliverry - L 1-5 (Home: L 2-3)
12. Away: Spaamanian Plijous - W 2-0 (Home: W 3-1)
13. Home: Turori - Next (Away: L 1-4)
14. Away: Lexington SC - (Home: W 2-1)
15. Home: Bushes Been Quaked - (Away: W 3-0)
16. Home: Spruitland - (Away: L 1-2)
17. Away: Marion Oaks 2 - (Home: W 1-0)
18. Home: Lovisa - (Away: W 3-0)


OOC: It is extremely likely a lot of supporters will have read Neumann's request. It is quite possible the team will also show up naked, although with body-painted team colours; well, and they will be wearing shoes, and anything worn for protection ;-)

Jeruselem Government News

Dazza's YAP UP - 31st October, 2006

Yay, Dazza's back on the field - well for a short time. The coach decided to rest a few players for the big game against Ariddia later and somehow the reserves including myself got the win despite a lacklustre performance. We played last placed Cyredel who scored the early goal and people were talking about a shock but the coach put in the field since my last injury and well, things changed. A bit of leadership fixed up our defense and then showed I was back in form. We and my Rashina teamed up for the first goal - I think the Cyredel defense got confused and tagged Rashina instead of me (she's a defender) and I scored after running past some static defense and fired under the keeper. I also scored the 2nd goal after a wild corner, so I had to bicycle kick the ball and the goalie wasn't expecting that. Not the best win but it's still TWO ONE and three points. Oh yes, we still lead - just by two points. Cyredel are still last.

Ariddia won again over the fading The Macabees TWO ONE. Close game but The Macabees never had the firepower to beat the Ariddian team. They move back to 2nd and are only 2 points behind us. See, Ariddia are back and should join Jeruselem in the top 3!

Chicanada beat the lousy Tryanny team as you would expect but the Tryanny weren't smashed. They lost in close one to Chicanada ONE NIL, which mirrored how close the games Jeruselem and Ariddia played. All close games but the lower team could not score the killer goals as they normally can't. Chicanada win and are still 6th - on goal difference. They are two wins behind 1st and can still make it. Tryanny are 2nd last and well, have one win but 9 losses is the killer for them.

Geisenfried just keep on scoring goals, this time against Montegrande. FIVE ONE and they have scored 37 goals so far, matched only by Kericia's 36. The top 2 in the group aren't goal shy either. Yes, despite this they are stuck in 5th with Chicanada right behind them only on goal difference. They have conceded 21 goals meaning against good teams they are not so effective like today.

Now, Magnus Valerius took on Kericia in the big game as all the other games went to script with the big teams winning. A win by either team would put more pressure on Ariddia and Jeruselem to stay where they are - and good for us - they drew like they should. A tight ONE ALL game where little risk was taken and it showed. Both teams did not want to lose and well, in the end both teams did not. Kericia lost 2nd spot to Arriddia and Magnus Valerius sit in 5th.

Looking the crowded table - Jeruselem and Ariddia back on top while Kericia lead a mob within 2 points of each other. Still, 6th is two wins away from 1st and no one is safe. Chicanada need some help due to their lousy goal difference and Magnus Valerius was a worse one but do have two more points than Chicanada. It's so close, it will be down to the last game. Top seeds Jeruselem and Ariddia have to survive the wolf-pack in the Group of Death.

Nedalia - are sinking quick. The poor old Lions lost to Bazalonia THREE ONE after winning last game. Any more losses and we can say who will be in the top 3 of Group 2. One of them will be Bedistan the Lions who roar and the fading Nedalia need to regroup. Guys buy the Nedalian support pack with Dazza the pink lady lion and well, help our friends.

JGN sponsored Socialist Romanistan won again, against lowly Candy Rocks THREE ONE. Well done and you rock, the candy. Get it? Never mind.

So I'm back on the field but not for the whole game. Only for the 2nd half when I'm needed so I'm not injured the big final games. I will be needed due to the table sitation.

Someone wants to my Skype name. Come on people! You know what it is - OneAndOnlyDazza. Get the new Skype with beta HDTV quality video - it's version 4.2.1.622. Look on my personal web site www.dazza.jgn.jew and see when I'm online. Sometimes my boyfriend turns up so you can talk to him too. If you can't talk online, send me and email and maybe it might be featured on THE FOOTBALL LIFE. Don't try if you use a low speed connection as you're probably not going get connected.

While you're looking at my web site, check out the yourtube videos I posted yesterday. Yeah, me and my new short haircut. No not that short as most worked out when they saw me on TV today but a cute one. There's only one real Dazza - ME. In one, my towel falls off so that one got about 1 billion hits.

Sweet dreams

Group 2:
Nedalia [1] Bazalonia [3]

Group 7:
The Macabees [1] Ariddia [2]
Chicanada [1] Tryanny [0]
Montegrande [1] Geisenfried [5]
Magnus Valerius [1] Kericia [1]
Jeruselem [2] Cyredel [1]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Jeruselem 12 8 4 0 30-11 +19 28
[2] Ariddia 12 8 2 2 33-15 +18 26
[3] Kericia 12 7 3 2 36-17 +19 24
4- Magnus Valerius 12 7 2 3 21-18 +3 23
5- Geisenfried 12 7 1 4 37-21 +16 22
6- Chicanada 12 7 1 4 20-14 +6 22
7- The Macabees 12 4 0 8 16-34 -18 12
8- Montegrande 12 1 4 7 11-24 -13 7
9- Tryanny 12 1 2 9 7-31 -24 5
10- Cyredel 12 0 1 11 9-35 -26 1


Group 8:
Candy Rocks [1] Socialist Romanistan [3]

The Schiavone Scribe
Fr Symeon Found

Fr. Symeon The Bold, Schiavonia's footballing Orthodox monk, has been found in a small rowing boat off the coast of the east coast of Anastasiania.

Fr. Symeon, who has been missing since before the Sloths game with Tynelia on Matchday Five of their current qualifying campaign, claimed that he felt that the attention that the team attracts is too soul destroying.

"I had to get away from Schiavonia to try to bring myself closer to God," he explained to gathered Schiavone reporters, "as well as further away from the football team."

"The truth is, I never wanted to play football in the first place. My father pushed me into it. I found it all rather pointless, kicking a ball up and down. Then when he talked with Mr. Lowe about picking me for the national team... what was that all about? I never wanted to play for them, but I felt an honour to my country to do my best, even though it was never any good."

"In the end, I had to leave. It was all too much. I have spoken to Mr. Lowe since I left the boat, he's been understanding about the whole thing. He knows I won't be coming back, and now I guess you all do too."

Fr. Symeon was talking from his hospital bed in the Anastasianian city of Heinc. He will stay there until he gets his strength back, before moving back to The Monastery of St Chariton the Confessor of Palestine, where he will most likely see out the rest of his days.

However, Fr. Symeon's father, former Schiavonia player Kenny Sanderson, denied that he had pushed his son into the game. He said in a statement yesterday that he may well have bought his son his first pair of boots before he was born, and made him go to football practice even though he would rather be at home doing other stuff, and made him cry when he stopped him from doing his schoolwork and seeing his friends. But he never would have do it if he'd known any better.

Rodney Lowe was more understanding when he talked to the press after Schiavonia's three-two win in Green wombat. "We have been worried about Fr. Symeon since he vanished, but all he had to was tell me that he didn't want to play and I wouldn't have picked him. On his performances, I probably wouldn't have picked him much more, anyway."

Lowe confirmed that he would not replace Fr. Symeon in the squad, instead opting to use one of his two wingers as creative players should Alan Tiss be out of sorts or out of action for any reason.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpg

Who is silvu?

To answer this question let us travel to Goonmirk Rocks (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goonmirk_Rocks), an archetypical tree town of Errinundera at the highest point on the Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) Plateau. silvu was born and raised here. He graduated as a botanist from the local Podocarp Institute which, along with the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Floratech, is the nation’s premier botanical institute.

Apart from the Podocarp Institute the most notable thing about Goonmirk Rocks (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goonmirk_Rocks) is the mud. It’s everywhere – even in the housetrees (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Housetrees) dozens of metres from the ground. There are no notable rocks in Goonmirk Rocks (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goonmirk_Rocks). No-one knows how the town got its name.

Our hero, the 34-year-old forward and recently appointed captain of the Errinundrian national football team (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad), lives in a housetree (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Housetrees). To reach his house from the ground you must climb a rope ladder. Actually, Rockheads (as they are commonly called) don’t descend to ground level very often. Everything in the town is connected by skywalk or monorail. To glide silently through the tree canopy by monorail is one of life’s joys. Unfortunately, due to underfunding, most monorails are noisy and unreliable.

Having a wife and 8 children silvu shares the tree with only one other human occupant - the local grocery co-op. He often chats to the shoppers and volunteers as they visit the co-op. No doubt they enjoy their conversations with a national hero. Today’s conversation? Undoubtedly the potoroos’ (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad) return to form with their 1-2 away victory against Brownwick (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=brownwick). Yes, weren’t rosaniel’s efforts fantastic, scoring in the 27th and 41st minutes after the Wickers had scored in the 19th? And yes, wasn’t the second half dreary by comparison?

Like many others in the team (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad), silvu didn’t enjoy travelling to Brownwick (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=brownwick). They and Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) could be described as antipathetical. Brownwick (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=brownwick) is a corporate police state, ie civil and political freedoms are severely curtailed for the sake of profit. Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) is a left wing utopia where we realise that it is in personal and political development can we find happiness and that wealth is a hindrance to that discovery. The Brownwick (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=brownwick) government spends all its budget on law and order, corporate subsidies and the military. Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) doesn’t spend a cracker on any of these. Instead it has chosen the environment, education and social equality as its priorities.

But what about the private silvu? Well, his favourite activity is making love to his wife. This should come as no surprise, what with 8 children. His next favourite activity is swinging from the branches of his housetree (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Housetrees) with his children. With his botanical skills silvu has grown a magnificent epiphyte garden in his tree – it is notable throughout Goonmirk Rocks. He also loves building model ships: battleships from the 19th century – pre-dreadnoughts (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-dreadnought) of the British, French and Russian navies. How this can be so in landlocked, pacifist Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera)? I don’t know. They’re a weird mob in Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera).

Down the list is playing football for his local team, Goonmirk Rocks (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goonmirk_Rocks), and the national team (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad). With the recent resignation of blackwoo, he was appointed captain. He is a skilful forward and is second to rosaniel as top scorer for the potoroos in the qualifying rounds of World Cup 31 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_31).

What is his goal in life? What motivates him? "A happy wife," he tells his friends and colleagues. And what inspires her: “I particularly like watching Allanean (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Allanea) crimeburger franchises (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Cute_Bunny_Burger_Corporation) burning down (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Corporate_Torching).”

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Brownwick.png Brownwick (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad) 1

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) 2

rosaniel 19,27
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpg

Sooners Fall to Casari 3-1

World Cup Chat with Dan Reynolds and Adam Plumbtree

Brought to you by: OSPN

"I'm Dan Reynolds"
"And i'm Adam Plumbtree"
"Welcome to World Cup Chat and let's get down to scores"

Group 5:

System Karela [0] Vuam and Isma [1]
"System Karela continue to struggle here Dan"
"Righto Plummy the Karelan defence has only allowed 19 goals this cup, but that might even be down on their average"
"Theyve only scored 8 goals Dan, and thats enough to make any Okiean cry, or a Karelan dream however you look at it."

Northern Caesarea [0] The Islands of Qutar [1]
"Well Plummy it would have been nice if we could have taken advantage of that loss."
"yeah Dan we could have dropped it to only 4 points like Anastasiana did, even though it was a weak win verses Ancient Byzantine."
"Boy they suck."
"Anastasiana?"
"No Byzantine"
"Oh right"

The Mice of Miceland [2] Harlesburg [3]
"Well Harlesburg kept the Mice off of us there"
"Yeah still five pints- I mean points"

Ancient Byzantine [0] Anastasiania [1]

"Didnt we go over this one?"
"no"
"Right Dan, well it would have helped if Anceint Suk couldl have won, but what can we excpet?"

Okielahoma [1] Casari [3]
"Dang we lost"
"But Plummy Casari is 12 and 0."
"Wow"
"WC champions there?"
"Dunno?"

"Well folks we'll talk later..
And until next time
GO SOONERS

Scorers
Harris 11
Wilson 5
Bateman 4
Boatwright 2
Severson 1
Lloyd 1
Morris 1







---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 12 12 0 0 36-10 +26 36
[2] The Islands of Qutar 12 10 1 1 45-10 +35 31
[3] Northern Caesarea 12 8 1 3 27-13 +14 25
4- Anastasiania 12 6 3 3 21-15 +6 21
5- Okielahoma 12 5 3 4 25-21 +4 18
6- The Mice of Miceland 12 4 1 7 17-22 -5 13
7- System Karela 12 3 0 9 8-19 -11 9
8- Vuam and Isma 12 2 3 7 13-26 -13 9
9- Harlesburg 12 2 3 7 13-27 -14 9
10- Ancient Byzantine 12 0 1 11 5-47 -42

“Hello everyone and welcome once again to the Tynelian Soccer Weekly postgame show. Today Coach Billington’s benching of the starting lineup seems to have paid off as Tynelia broke free from its scoring drought and defeated the Algal States 3-1. Combined with losses by Az-cz (3-1 to Rejistania) and the Green Wombats (3-2 to Schiavonia), Tynelia is back within two points of third. The other matches saw low scoring Nebulueux unleash a barrage on Pablicosta in their 4-0 win and Dance 2 Revolution continued its unbeaten second half start with a 2-1 win over Tynelia’s next opponent Sel Appa. I’m your host Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee. So I guess this means Coach Billington is a genius instead of a goat now doesn’t it?”

“Well Mike, this move paid off for him but its still to be determined if it will get the regulars motivated. At the least the pluck the reserves have shown might mean someone may find themselves on the bench if they don’t turn things around.”

“But you have to admit Dana the youngsters really came through. After the Algal Sates put up a quick score on Jim Michaels in minute 11, the reserves settled down nicely. Gina Garret surprised a lot of people with her first goal of international play in minute 25 to tie things up and then Alan MacDougal, one of the few regulars to stay in the lineup added the go ahead goal in the 38th minute of play. The second half was a bit defensive minded for both sides early on but finally Bill Jakes managed to outrun the Algal defender on a long lead clear and broke in alone for the insurance goal in minute 59 to end the scoring. At that point the team sat back and defended and ran out the clock.”

“Yes it was nice to see garret score in her first ever start. She had only seen limited playing time at the end of a few early blowouts. This will be a huge boost in confidence for her.”

“We certainly hope so busy now let’s hear what a certainly relieved Coach Billington after today’s win. Hello again Coach.”

<Billington appears on the screen>

“Hello yourselves Mike and Dana.”

“Obviously this was a big win for the team especially with the teams ahead of you losing today. Do you think the players got your message today?”

“We’ll find out next match I hope. But remember even these reserves were team and league leaders and All Stars in their own rights. Its not like we’re digging very deep in the barrel when they are on the field. So I expected them to do well.”

“So is it a big relief to see Az-cz and the Green Wombats lose today so you could make up some ground with the win here?”

“Well certainly I’m glad we made up ground today but the bad news is that that’s one less match against the top two seeds for them and we’ve yet to play them ourselves. Az-cz is still the bigger threat at the moment since we still have one more match with the Wombats and can control our own destiny there. But we need the gnomes to suffer an upset somewhere down the line or it’ll be extremely tough for us.”

“So seeing how things worked out so well this time are you starting the reserves again against Sel Appa?”

“Not to this extent Mike. Jim’s had three straight road matches so I’m giving Tom the start next match. He faced Sel Appa last time so they’ll be familiar to him. Also Jay and Anya will be getting a rest. We have three tough matches after this one so I want my veteran forwards as rested as possible for that stretch. Bill and Gina will take their places. Other than that the regulars will be back out there in full force. Every match is pretty much a must win for us.”

“Do you feel any confidence that the Wombats at home held Schiavonia to a close one goal loss as far as your chances when Schiavonia comes to Tynelia?”

“While it shows a possible weakness on the road, they are still a team you need to bring you’re A-game out for Dana. Yes its nice to see a close match but close losses aren’t going to do much for us at this point.”

“OK then Coach, congratulations on a win here today and hopefully this is the start of the winning streak you’ve been looking for since the start of the tournament.”

“Let’s hope so Mike.”

<Billington fades from the screen>

“It looks like Billington is going to gamble a bit again against Sel Appa. Do you agree with this strategy Dana?”

“He may be pushing his luck a bit. Sel Appa is playing much better than the Algal States have and offensively are all but even with Tynelia’s offense. Yes Tynelia’s defense is twice as good but this is a team that can put the ball in the net. I’m not sure if sitting your best passer and all time leading scorer is the best way to counter that. Though I have to say Jakes has done extremely well considering the limits on his playtime so far.”

“In any case Dana, we’re still going to need some help from Nebuleux and the Algal States who face the Wombats and the gnomes respectively. Oddly enough it was the low scoring Algals who stunned Az-cz with a 1-1 draw the first time around. I’m sure the gnomes want to put that shocker behind them. And the Wombats held off Nebuleux 2-1 on their first go around. Will we see any help for us this time do you think?”

“I certainly don’t expect the Algal States to surprise the gnomes again. Of course I’m sure some people didn’t expect to see us get swept by the gnomes either so anything can happen. We have a better chance at gaining ground on the Wombats. Even if Nebuleux’s offensive explosion was a fluke, defensively they are still sound and could present problems for the Wombats.”

“Well then time for your picks Dana.”

“OK Mike. I think Tynelia will do well against Sel Appa. Their defense just looks too shaky even if Coach Billington is sitting some starters. I think this will go 2-1 in our favor. The gnomes I expect to avenge their draw with a 2-0 win in their match. I think there will be a bit of a surprise and the Wombats/Nebuleux match finishes in a draw 1-1. Schiavonia will derail the D2R second half run with a tidy 4-2 win and Rejistania should pummel poor Pablicosta 4-0 who are in the running for the Wooden Spoon right now. In fact if my numbers are right after today Pablicosta will be mathematically eliminated from qualifying.”

“That’s a real early elimination there Dana. And it doesn’t look good for your prediction of Schiavonia’s clinching on MD14. They’re only nine points clear of fourth at the moment.”

“Yes the Nebuleux draw and loss to Rejistania had them stumble a bit but they’ll still be in sometime close to that matchday.”

“In any event, Tynelia’s last match of this 1-1-1 road trip takes place in Sel Appa. A win would make this a decent if unspectacular road trip. Anything else will severely damage Tynelia’s hopes of advancing. Tune in to find out yourselves what will happen next as TSW covers the match live as always in the quest for World Cup 31 qualifying. Until then I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee. Have a good night everyone.”

“Remember Goodwoman Wallace. This is the king you are speaking to. Be polite and civil, and think of the honour the king has granted by giving you this audience. You will be the envy of your people on your return if you do not insult him. Stop and curtsey to him when I tell you to stop and do not speak until spoken to.” The chamberlain explained to the nervous townswoman as she was led before her monarch. Wearing her finest festival dress Goodwoman Wallace was amazed at the finery of the nobles and even the servants of the castle and thought what a fine thing it must be to live in a place like this all the time. The children were being watched by one of the neighbors after she realized she would be speaking to the king himself and would be traveling. Saying no to such an invitation would be…unwise to say the least.

At her nod, the chamberlain ordered the doors to the audience chamber opened and announced his charge. “Goodwoman Wallace of Chamberville, wife of the Miller Wallace to answer the summons of His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV.” Stepping forward to he designated spot in the chamber with the Goodwoman a step behind he stopped a bowed stagewhispering to the Goodwoman to curtsey.

She did so awkwardly, the king noticed, the woman’s awe at being in His presence clearly obvious. Sniffing and detecting the faint scent of soap, the king was pleased that she had at least been cleaned up properly. His guards stepped into place at either side of him on the off chance she might be an assassin but privately the king doubted it. Magnanimously the king decided to end her uncertainty and began to speak.

“Greetings Goodwoman. Your king is always pleased to receive members of the family of those who have offered such great service to their king and kingdom. Your husband miller Wallace has triumphed again and again against my foes. I had asked you here to see just what it was about your husband that makes him so skilled at this style of combat. In fact I hear today that again he has triumphed twice more to avenge a past embarrassing defeat. What is his secret?” the king finished with an attempt at a kindly smile.

Nervously Goodowman Walalce replied. “I’m not knowin’ that yer majesty. See John…” she was immediately cut off as one of the petty advisors who surrounded the king shouted.

“SHOW PROPER RESPECT TO HIS MAJESTY! HOW DARE YOU CALL HIM BY NAME!” he thundered as Goodwoman Wallace shrank back in fear.

“But that be my husband’s name, John Wallace. Named after the king hisself he was.” She stammered somewhat definantly.

The king looked around angrily at his advisors wondering why none of them had bothered to mention this detail to him and settling his glance at the outraged and now suddenly abashed advisor who had done all the shouting. Impressed by the woman’s grit even in such unfamiliar circumstances but mostly because the great Miller Wallace was in fact named after himself, no doubt a vital part of the man’s greatness, the king was about to reply when a herald ran into the chambers.

“Great news sire, the people of Vilita has rated our press with the mark of an “A” a sign of excellence.” He exclaimed proudly before he noticed the king’s glare.

“Press? Since when do we have a press in MY land without my being aware of it? And who are these Villaters daring to judge us in any way?” the king demanded as Goodwoman Wallace tried to become invisible before the king’s growing wrath.

“I’m, not sure sire, but they did produce some records of comments you made…” the herald began.

“Records? Of MY conversations? How did they get these records. Have they sent spies in MY kingdom and stolen these records? And why have these spies not been caught? Perhaps they are allies of Spaam and have been filling them in on everything we have done so far!” the king declared as the chamberlain ushered the Goodwoman away whispering platitudes to keep her quiet. Then the king’s eyes widened as another thought hit him.

“No not spies…we have a traitor among us.That is the only way anyone could have gotten past my guards and stolen these records. The guards wouldn’t stop someone they knew. Quickly seal the city and question all the guards. The spies and traitors will be found. No one enters or leaves the city until I am satisfied.” The king declared

“What of the tournament sire, other champions will still need to enter the city.” An advisor pointed out.

“Bah, let them go as they please. With these Villitans and Spaamains conspiring against us we can not afford to add any more to this list by seizing their champions. But no one else. Not until the traitor is found and dealt with!” the king declared as the audiences for the day were clearly done as his advisors scattered to do the king;’s bidding.

((ooc- as i never planned to have Tessan actually qualify for the WC...ever- would ruin the whole basis of their RP if they did- i'm ending tessan's RP here except for maybe a wrap up post near the end to stop their bonuses. besides it's too big a pain to try and RP two nations as often as i've been this time around so the puppet gets cut off. if they do get in so be it, i'll just not enter them in WC32 so they can drop back to where i want them to be.))

Az-cz Scroll
Az-cz City
Il-Lur

Gnomes fall to Orange-Blues, but remain in third place

The Rejistanians just had too much skill and too much drive for the Gnomes today. Looking to avenge there earlier draw and prove they were the better team they jumped out early and never looked back.

The Orange-Blues opened the scoring in the 14th minute. A number of sly passes confused Nerazzuri and Haji-Me and allowed for a wide open shot on Gn-Lg who was powerless to stop it.

The second goal came 9 minutes later from the penalty spot. Haji-Me was trying to recover and fouled the Rejistani striker in the box giving up a penalty and earning a red card. Xiaela Serena stepped up confidently and slotted the ball into the net.

The Orange-Blues finished off their scoring with another goal from stopped play. This time they executed a perfect corner to take advantage of their height advantage. Despite their lack of height the Gnomes don't actually give up that many aerial goals, but Xiaela Serena crossed it to Syku Lyku who headed it into the corner of the net. With still a full 55 minutes left in the game the Rejistanis called off the hounds.

They sat in a defensive formation and let the Gnomes come at them. They had no problem repelling the Gnomes and went into half up 3-0.

They came out the second half the same way and had little problem dealing with the gnomes early in the half but as the half progressed you could see the Orange-Blues tire and start to lose focus. To take advantage of that more Hmr-Pn was sent on for Hubertino. He added more pressure to the attack and some fresh legs.

Finally in the 77th minute the Gnomes pulled one back with Stanleyinho corraling the rebound off of a Kn-Dg shot and firing it home. The Rejistani's then used all their subs and regained their focus and managed to keep the Gnomes off the board from then on out.

The Gnomes now head in to what should be the easy part of their schedule. Each match is critical to earn the full three points. First up is Algal States, a team who stunningly robbed the Robbers of two points in Algal States. They will be the first foreign team to visit the Temple of Yak. As for Rejistania, they look to move closer to qualification as they travel to Pablicosta, as Az-cz will do after them.

Stats

Score Az-cz 1 Rejistania 3
Az-cz scorers 77 Stanleyinho
Possession Az-cz 37% Rejistania 63%
Shots Az-cz 5 Rejistania 16
Corners Az-cz 0 Rejistania 1

Jo-El: Well a tough loss today for the Gnomes, but not particularly unexpected considering the opponent. To talk about the match here are coach Hawdon and Zax-Im.

Hawdon: Hats off to Rejistania. They are a top team for a reason. We're working hard to get better and we're quickly improving, but there's a reason our rankings are so different. There's no shame or disappointment in this one. Now we just need to regroup.

Az-cz reporter 1: What is the morale of the team at this point?

Zax-Im: Great. We're still in control of our own fate. This loss to Rejistania by itself doesn't set us back in the race for qualification. We have plenty of confidence in ourselves.

Az-cz reporter 2: Last time around you got caught looking ahead and Algal States took some points off you. How do you plan on preventing that here?

Hawdon: I'm pretty danged certain no one on the team is going to be looking ahead. We all know the consequences. We don't have any breathing room so we can't afford to slip up. The players know that. So we'll be focused.

Az-cz reporter 3: At this point how confident do you feel about qualification?

Hawdon: It's still to early to be talking about this much, but I feel confident. If we take care of business like we should in these next three matches we'll almost be in position to qualify at that point. We just need to reacquire the habit of taking care of business against lower ranked teams.

Az-cz reporter 4: Who would you define as the bigger threat to overtake the team at this point?

Hawdon: They're both very good teams. In terms of talent either one of them could easily overhaul us, but you'd have to say that Green Wombat has the advantage, with both an easier remaining schedule and a game left against us.

Frank Dee: You yourself have no experience in the world cup. How do you help your team advance there without having any experience?

Hawdon: Well there are plenty of coaches without any experience coaching in a world cup. And I'm not going to lie, we're relying on coach Khim's experience. If there's anyone that knows about the rigors of qualifying and the world cup it's coach Khim. We're taking advantage of that resource incredibly. He is a huge part of getting us to the position we're in now.

Az-cz reporter 5: Are you worried about the lack of goal differential?

Hawdon: Yes. I'd like to see us increase our goal differential. At this point if we end up in a draw with Green Wombat we'd have a problem. We've got some chances to rack up goal differential coming up and need to take advantage.

Az-cz reporter 6: Will you be doing anything to try to increase the offensive output?

Hawdon: It's hard to say what to do. We've scored in every match so far. I'm not sure what else to do. I've got faith in the formation. The players just need to execute. That's it.

Az-cz reporter 7: Will you be using these matches to get experience to younger players?

Hawdon: Are you joking? Absolutely not. You build for the future when your present is already your past. But this team is still very much alive. We'll get the kids playing time later.

Jo-El: Alright we've come to today's voice of the fan. Today's question comes from Bo-Lio from Bel-Mz city. She writes "Which player do you think has improved the most up to this point?"

Hawdon: For me I'd have to say Stanleyinho. He's improved his finishing skills from where he was at the start of the tournament. He's definitely re-earned his starting spot.

Zax-Im: Well I think the answer has to be Hmr-Pn. This kid wasn't expected to play at all, but he's doing so well in practice that he's forcing his way onto the pitch. Just fantastic work. Hell he might be able to force a shift in formation down the road.

Northern Caesarea 0 Islands of Qutar 1

1. Cuéllar *****

2. Díez ****
14. Molinero ***
3. Bardají * => 2. Díez (m.65)

19. Gabi 0
13. Castro 0
6. Begines * => 5. Rivera (m.75)
8. Ríos *

23. González 0
9. Torres **
7. Maragall 0 => 15. Javi (m.81)

Called in:

12. Calatrava
2. Díez
5. Rivera
24. Novo
15. Javi
20. Toledo
--------------------------------------------------------
Wright ***

Swan *****
Froggatt *
Daynes *
Paget ****

Morgan **
Wildgoose ****
Orban ***
Johnson ***

Walsh *
Armaos ****

The crack
Cuéllar
The veteran Alcalá FC goalie saved the tricolores from a humiliating defeat. He only conceded one goal, but he had a hard job during all the match.

The dandy
Swan
One of the main responsibles of Northern Caesarea defeat. He used a lot of technique to make González and Maragall appear as two idiots.

The tough guy
Ríos
Used violence and dirty tricks against Wildgoose. The referee wasn't duped.

Not his day
González
Covered by Swan and Pagett, he couldn't do anything to help the attacking game.

Azaña-Another defeat in the Estadio Nacional against another big name of football. The tricolores are still unable to beat great teams, even if the circumstances are easy, like in the match against Casari.

Yesterday night, the team was totally inoperant in the midfield and in the attack, with the defense and a monumental Cuéllar as the saviors of the team until minute 80, when Armaos scored a goal which brought fairness to what happened in the pitch.

The Tricolores have to change their attitude is the want to go to WC 31, as Okielahoma is rather near of the third place and the second is beginning to be pretty far from their boots.

1. Cuéllar

2. Díez
14. Molinero
22. Berni

24. Novo
13. Castro
10. Baldo
18. Rodiloa

15. Javi
20. Toledo
21. Evaristo

Called in:

12. Calatrava
3. Bardají
6. Begines
8. Ríos
7. Maragall
9. Torres

Spindomian National Telegraph

Yesterday we reported the biggest shock of the round, now, it has happened again. Spindomia won the narrowest of games 3-2 at the Spin Arena in Chezton against Quakmybush.

The game started with a bang, as Miller charged forward straight from the kick off, and some clever passing and nifty footwork allowed him a one on one with Clarke in goal, which he placed in the bottom corner of the Spindomian net.

Just 10 minutes later, the Quakmybush team were at it again, this time it was Sorley on the end of a beautiful cross from the byline for him to head it past the despairing keeper. The Spindomian crowd expected the worst.

The only resistance shown in the first half was a feeble long ranged effort by Roder, which was easily caught by Carrol.

After half time, the Quakmybushians kept going, with shots peppered in from all angles, Sorley, Fields and Fret were all denied great chances by some even greater shot stopping from Clarke.

It wasn't until the 87th minute that Spindomia woke up. With Quakmybush happy to play it around, Roder made an interception and made for the goal, where he rounded the keeper to score.

2 minutes later it was Roder with the most unbelievable corner, straight into the far top corner for the equaliser.

And to top off the 3 minute turnaround, Roder had a freekick on the edge of the penalty area which he slotted into the top right hand corner of the goal, much to the fans delight.

The coach afterwards said that the team's determination had again shown them through, and that anything can happen: "The dream is still alive."

Spindomia's huge win means that, despite the fact they are still in 7th place, they are 1 point behind 6th and 6 off qualification. The top 7 looks amazingly close, in a group from which anybody could qualify.

Spindomia's next match is the real test, it is Spindomia at home to Starblaydia. If Spindomia can pull out another upset against the world number 1 team, then qualification would be within sight.

Final Score

Spindomia 3
Roder 87' 89' 90'

Quakmybush 2
Miller 1'
Sorley 11'

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Defense Collapses as Eels Fall to Second



It was supposed to be the answer to all of Turori's defensive questions. The highly reputable Cocoabo number six returned to action against Bushes Been Quaked on Matchday 11 and looked the part in its 45 minutes as the Eels easily brushed the cookout loving nation without looking like conceding a single goal. But Cocoabo number six will have had a Matchday 12 to remember, which included an own goal off its own beak.

It was just not meant to be for the Eels, who had entered the match level second in the entire world cup qualifying for fewest goals conceded. Only against Oliverry had Turori conceded more than one, in a match that ended in a 2-2 draw on the day. But it was the Spruitland Wabbits who tore down the Eels defensive wall and proudly held their three goals up to the light in a match that would end square between the two promotion chasers. Turori looked the better side in the first half going up 3-1, but Spruitland came back fighting in front of the home support, getting the motivation they needed off the beak of Cocoabo number six who inadvertently nudged home the 2-3 goal for Spruitland, pulling them within just a single tally, which would come soon after as Turori's defense looked shaky and unorganized, though perhaps it would be expected after the untimely death of their organizing back Cocoabo number four.

Despite the result, Spruitland has fallen out of the qualification zone with 2/3rds of Qualification now complete, and Ropa-Topia, the only team in the group without a single draw, now sits in the third position just four points behind Turori in second, and one point ahead of the 4th placed Wabbits. Vumaou's Flock now trails Oliverry by a point atop the Group standings, while Oliverry additionally has a 3 Goals differential over Turori as a result of their 7-0 thrashing of Lovisa, solidifiying their claims for a ticket to the finals in Vilita and the Lowland Clans.


http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 3
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/spruit.gif Spruitland 3




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)
[8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407)
[9] :: Flock in Florida Falter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11869660&postcount=444)
[10] :: Flock Back on Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875294&postcount=485)
[11] :: Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879759&postcount=513)
[12] :: Defense Collapses as Eels Fall to Second (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11882406&postcount=542)

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Milchama hold firm

Mateys flew into Milchama with everyhting against them, playing away against a world class team who always do well against us, but at least we tired and thats all we can ask for.
2 - 1 the final score with the final few minutes being very tense as Milchama dug in and MAteys surged forward. First goal came from a free kick from K Livingston who always seems to be on hand when the team need it most, sadly he and the team couldnt do enough to even sneek a draw. It was clear to every one that Milchama where pleased with the win as many players celebrated wildly as did the fans, but there is still a few games left and the Mateys must get at least 1 point from the Bettia and LE games and hope other results go in their favour to qualify

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/bsd-online.png

Really? Us too!
Conspiracy theories abound

KUMBARA -- The first international football match played in East Bedistan in almost forty years seemingly couldn't have gone much worse for the home team, as a series of strange and unexpected events caused the Lions' performance to be significantly subpar, resulting in a 1-1 draw with Risa-Aramour. Interestingly, this reporter found himself completely unable to obtain any information on Risa-Aramour whatsoever, and quite frankly the very existence of the nation is doubtful.

There were rarely more than eight Bedistan players on the pitch at any given time, as they all seemed to be suffering from significant bowel discomfort and had to make visits to the restroom every twenty-five minutes. This proved disastrous during goalkeeper Vailatai Issah's third bathroom break at the beginning of the second half as the opposing team managed to land a penalty during his absence. Defender Timothy Watson was serving as goalkeeper in the meantime, but his utter lack of goaltending skills resulted in a Risa-Aramour equalizer.

The streakers who took to the pitch midway through the first half were comparatively a minor inconvenience. The fact that they were nude wasn't a problem, as there are no laws against public nudity in Bedistan, but they did disrupt the flow of the game. Though, to be honest, most Bedistan fans didn't seem to be particularly bothered, because one of the streakers inadvertently kicked the ball into the Risa-Aramour net and the referee (who at this moment wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the game itself) allowed the goal to stand.

In addition, locally renowned Elvis impersonator Maurice Adamkewitz attempted to gain entry to the pitch, but stadium security was able to stop him.

But apparently Kumbara's Estadië Ostire was not the only place where events like this happened, as reports seem to indicate similar happenings at the Archregimancy's match against Liverpool England. Conspiracy theorists across Bedistan have been working around the clock since the match to try to find a plausible explanation.

"We're still not sure exactly what has caused these allegedly coincidental events," says conspiracy theorist Tony Cunningham, "but one thing is certain: all signs point to Casari." When pressed for further information, Cunningham remained silent.

More on this story as it develops.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/bedistan.gif BEDISTAN 1
some naked guy 29'
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/risa-aramour.gif RISA-ARAMOUR 1
someone 51' pen

Norman Hacker was not amused. For a start he could not get his head around the whole Dreamed Realm thing. "I just want my raw steak, but not THIS raw," he complained as animals ran around the stadium in various numbers, seven pairs of some "things" as he called them.

Then there was the team jog. "What do you mean we can't run around the town? We're stuck in this bubble thing? It's bloody raining all the time...the weather forecast suggests it's going to keep up for the next six bloody weeks..."

Then the pre-match anthem. "Bloody hell, does this thing never bloody end?"

At least one thing had been sorted after the home game. The Archregimancy's shirts as black as the chasm of clams were adorned with purest dove white numbers, albeit looking a bit like letters. No names, however, which had inhibited the scouting.

But Hacker's attempts to intimidate the monks were doomed to failure. Keith Basset had been chosen as the most brutal of the Red Tide representatives but after he went straight through Father Alexander, or Father Dmitri, or Father Basil, or whatever they were called, they came straight back up, offering forgiveness and blessings. The hip-high bootings of the Wrights and Clays of this world were not doing damage and Newton's habit of leaving human detritus around him when going for high balls was not evident.

So amidst the confusion it was not surprising that the Swifts went in at half-time a goal behind, someone with the "number" η' soaring like an eagle to plant a header past the hapless Robinson. And a befuddled Swifts resorted to type in the second half - going to 6-3-1 and desperately trying to keep the score down without even attempting to sneak an equalizer.

Hacker was more relieved at the end rather than disappointed or ranting. "Let's get back to bloody normal...who have we got next?"

Tessan. A win being compulsory if the Swifts have any pretensions for qualification.

Goalkeeper stuns all with a rare goal!

Sel Appan goalkeeper, Vasily KASHCHENKO made a rare and bizarre move when he ran out of the goal and scored a shot with a pass from ESTEVEZ. This is one of the most rare and remarkable events possible and to see a successful shot in the 24th minute. Despite this amazing goal that slammed the morale of Dance 2 Revolution, they managed to come back with two goals within 5 minutes at the 63rd and 68th respectively.

Nationstates.scv Chatroom

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/The_Mushroom_kingship.png Mushy_Mania

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Az-Cz.png Gm-Bob

***You are now logged in***

Gm_Bob: Hi
Mushy_Mania: hey weird day in footie today
Gm_Bob: yeah Bedistan,and Casari both got bit by a bug :confused:
Mushy_Mania: and Frocitus
Gm_Bob:Frock too?
Mushy_Mania: Yep
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Chicanada.png Neistrouffer has Joined
Neistrouffer:Hi
Mushy_Mania:Hi
Mushy_Mania: got to go, Aerospace (my Team) and O7X are playing on the TV.

***You have logged off***

Hill was pouring over a thick book of statistics when Ruhlman looked in her office. "Hill?"

"What is it?" She asked, not looking up from the book.

"I just got word, Seirori jacked up his ankle."

Hill looked up and blinked. "Where, in the game?"

"No, just now, in the parking lot, dicking around on his motorcycle."

"That's fantastic. We'll take care of it later." Hill said, flipping the page.

"You're not going to yell at him a bit for doing something stupid like that?"

"Of course I am." Hill said calmly. "But that doesn't mean I want to do it now."

Ruhlman blinked and looked around the office. "... are you on something? Usually by this time of the day, you're flipping out and screaming about the media lying about your favorite food or something."

"Pfft. The media's got nothing on us." Hill said, highlighting a line in her book and closing it. "They're a bunch of annoying blowhards who only exist to find scapegoats for stuff. Anyway, there's other business to talk about. How did the tests go?"

"Is it safe to talk about those in here?" Ruhlman asked, sitting down.

"Pfft. Like anyone will listen to those crackpots who accuse us of anything. 'Waaaa, waaaa, they fixed the World Cup, waaaa, waaaa, they're bribing referees, they have match orders to purposely kick our players in their personal areas, they released a cat on the field on purpose, they let the sprinkler systems run all night on purpose to waterlog the pitch-"

"But we do waterlog the pitch."

"Maybe, but we didn't do the cat."

"Well, not on purpose, no. But it didn't catch a lot of mice once we released it."

"Details. Anyway how did the plan go?"

Ruhlman shrugged. "We had a good reaction in at least two different locations. While it didn't work as well as we had hoped, the samples grew well once seeded and caused at least enough of an impact to change the flow of the matches they were tested in."

"Good, that's actually some good news for once."

"They said that development of the strain is going well, and the next test strain should be ready in a week or so."

"The news just keeps getting better and better, too. Do they think they're ready to expand the program?"

"They said that they should have adequate quantities produced to expand the number of test sites in a few days."

"Excellent. Make sure they keep the details well under wraps, too. We don't want anyone able to prepare for it, after all. Every advantage we can get, you know."

"I know." Ruhlman said, yawning. "It's a bit hard to forget."

"Everyone finally got their damn flu shot though, didn't they?" Hill said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, we stuck them all before practice today. They might be a bit off of it for a day or two, but it'll pass. I've never seen so many people unwilling to get a simple shot." Ruhlman said. "Anyway, that's all been taken care of."

"Fantastic." Hill said. "You know, I really do love it when a plan comes together."

"Hmm, what else... Ooh, the new lawnmower arrived today too." Ruhlman said, putting his feet up.

"It did? Is it cool looking?" Hill said, scratching her ear.

"Its a lawnmower, how does it look cool?"

"I dunno, it just does. If it doesn't, we'll be the laughingstock of the group." Hill said. "Come on, I want to see if they sent us the right color."

"Why do I have to go?" Ruhlman said, standing up slowly.

"Because, I've recently realized that we're a team of psychos." Hill said, looking both ways before leaving her office.

*picked up over a walkie talkie feed*

"How is operation no-qualify going." A mysterious voice asked.

"I can barely hear you, but it seems to be going well my horrible play helped that Spindnia, Spindomma, Spinddomia? I'm not sure what it is win." another voice replied.

"Good, good, can you keep it up?" the first voice asked.

"Well I should be able to, I already payed off the refs for that Essex, Esaskc, Esak, or whatever it is. I also helped that Ragging Zebras, Raging Tomatoes, Pancake Penguins, ah fuck it. But I also helped them win their game against us. It is all working, don't worry." the second voice answered.

"Alright, I trust you, do not screw this up or off with your head!" the first voice said.

"Don't worry I got it. I got to go, someone is coming." The second voice said.

*turns off the walkie talkie*

"Hey Cameron." Greg Hughes said.

"Hey coach." Cameron Juteer said.

"I'd like you in the change room please." Hughes said.

"Okay." Cameron replied. The two men walked to the change room and all the team members were there, they were all preparing for their match against Qazox.

"Alright guys, I was fooling around with my scanner and I came across some weird stuff, it seems like someone, inside the team is trying to sabotage us." Greg said. There was a large gasp in the room. "I do have a way to figure out who it is though, they had no idea who we lost too, or how to pronounce the name at least. So, I am going to go around the room and ask each of you who we lost to on Matchday 5." Hughes continued. The players named Raging Penguins off, except for three, Jon Fields, Joey Sturm and Cameron Juteer.

"Bah, I thought it was Raging Piglets." Jon Fields said with a laugh.

"OK, now, who did we lose to on Matchday 7?" Hughes asked. Fields got this one right, so this left Sturm and Juteer

"Wow, one of you guys is a real true asshole." Cory Sorley said.

"Alright guys, last question, who did we lose to last night? Joey you answer first." Hughes asked.

"It was Spindomia." Joey replied

"Now you answer Cameron." Hughes said.

"It was ummm...... Springfomia?" Cameron said.

"Wrong, you've been the one behind this." Hughes said.

"But, I was..... I was forced too, they threatened to kill me and my family, I had to do it." Cameron said.

"Well, who told you to do it?" Ben Miller asked

"I can't really tell you, it would put my family at risk." Cameron said.

"C'mon just tell us, it won't be a big deal." Jon said.

"Fine, I'll tell you abit, it was someone from our government." Cameron said.

"WHAT!? The government, why would they do that?" Greg asked.

"They said we were "too good" and that we needed to be stopped."

"Unbelievable. This doesn't leave the room at all guys. OK?" Hughes said.

"OK" The team said all at once.

"C'mon, guys, don't think off it, we got a huge game to play." Hughes said. With that the team went out on to the field for their match against Qazox.

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

Taking the Lap to the Top

Page 1:
Panel 1:

"Previously on The Adventures of SuperDude" said an info-box at the top of the panel. Apart from this it was exact duplicate of the last story panel in the previous comic. They are at the Hotel, "2 rooms booked under Smith." said Louise. "can I have a look at some ID?" said the Clark. James held his ID card for the Clerk to read. "Thank you.. That would be rooms 167 and 168. Hmm It says here you have some mail. Do you want to get that for you?"

Panel 2:

"Umm, okay." said James. "I don't know who would know where we are staying even the Boss does not know." said Louise. "Here you go." said the clerk handing James the letter. "There is no return address." the Clerk added. The Clerk was handing over the letter in the way the comic was drawn and you could see that the letter was addressed to both James & Louise. "I wonder who it is from" James said as he also had his hand out to accept the letter from the clerk.

Panel 3:

Both Louise and James started walking away from the check-in counter with keys in hand. James also having the letter in hand looked at it trying to determine who it was from without actually reading the contents of the letter. "Come on, open it. We need to know what is inside." said Louise almost begging for James to open the letter now. "No, not now" said James "when we get up to our rooms." he said. "Do you think it is from Icharus?" Louise asked... "Perhaps." said James and that was left at that.

Page 2:
Panel 4:

"Yoink" said Louise, Loise and James where in the elevator going up to the level where their room is. "Hey, give that back." said James. Louise had snatched the Letter from the unknown person off of James and had started to open it. James whispered "There are cameras" to Louise. Who whispered back "I know, aw, come on let me have some fun." "Too bad." said James. The lights on the elevator buttons where visible and clear it went up to 10 floors and the 6th floor button was highlighted presumably the level that Louise and James where going too.

Panel 5:

James snatched the letter back and said "You are going to have to do better than that." with a smile showing that he was enjoying himself. "You like playing games, don't you James." said Louise to which James replied. "I sure do." "Well Play this one!" snorted Louise as he heel came down heavily on James Foot. It did not actually hurt him since he was SuperDude but his reaction was still classic , well in his face.

Panel 6:

The elevator seemed to shudder in this Panel as James was flung into Louise who both at the time where facing each other.

Panel 7:

This was a close up of Louise and James Faces as they where so close. The wall of the elevator holding her her up in a kind of wave. The looks of both of Louise and James where quite shocked.

Page 3:
Panel 8:

James stood back and apologised. "Uh, sorry for that. I didn't mean to.. uh.. yeah." "Um.. yeah.. um. No Harm done" replied Louise as she tried to straighten herself up again and as James straigtened himself up as well. "So, uh, nearly there." said James as the elevator continued rising "Yes, we're at level 5 now." affirmed Louise you could almost cut the atmosphere with a knife it seemed that tense.

Panel 9:

"Oh, thank God." said Louise as the elevator doors where opened and she stepped out into the corridoor. This panel was from the view of a person in the corridoor possibly a person with their back up against the wall or just with the wall of the corridor made-invisible for the shot. "I'll meet you in your room in a few minutes." she continued as she walked to her room. James was just standing in the elevator ready but in no rush to enter his room.

Panel 10:

James had entered his room, you could see him and the corridor behind the open door in the background. His suitcase and most importantly Icharus's laptop was there as well. "Ah, Where I call home for a few days." The letter is in his hand and he starts to open the letter up to read it's contents.

Page 4:
Panel 11:

This entire page contained the contents of the envelope, It was just one piece of paper the James' hands where on either side of the piece of paper and this was what was written on the piece of paper... "Louise & James; Sorry I was not able to meet you at the train station something came up and I had to see someone. My laptop has all the information I could find for you it is buried under the pots & pans in the kitchen. You will need the password 'chiKadee' to open the file. I have a feeling that someone is out to get this information. Be Careful, very careful. Love.. Icharus <signature>"

Page 5:
Panel 12:

There was a knock on the door. *knock* *knock* *knock*. The panel was from still the point of view from the inside of the apartment. "Who is it?" said James on his way to the door. "Louise, you idiot let me in." said Louise as she continued to rapp on the door *knock* *knock* *knock* "Coming, Hold your horses." said James

Panel 13:

Louise was entering the room and closing the door behind here while James was walking back to the laptop with the letter on the table beside it. "I have something to show you." said James

Panel 14:

James was sitting at the laptop.. "Ah here we go, open that file. Password... entered... ah here we go." said James while he was at the laptop reading the contents. "So you think that the person who killed Icharus was the person that she had to meet?" wonderred Louise. "Yep, that's I'm thinking. Would not have time otherwise." "..." "Oh.. I think we have found our Thief."

Page 6:
Panel 15:

Like Panel 11 this was a whole page panel, and just like Panel 11 it contained the text of what was displayed on the computer screen, there where a number of paragraphs most of them contained little information of use but there was one paragraph that stood out, mainly because it was highlighted. "Ides of March Inc. was created 2 weeks and a day before the start of the World Cup Qualifiers it's headquarters are listed as being in 425 Prayer Laneway. Hwever they do have a property owned in the industrial side of town. I have it on good authority that it is using power and quite a bit but nothing inside the building seems to be operating. However there are rumors about an underground cavern built into it. The ex-inhabitants of this region where apparently underground mad, as well as just just about mad in everything else as well. I have included a map." Hopwever there was a small pop-up box that seemed to be in the lower left corner... "Nedalia 1 - 3 Bazalonia" it said.

Page 7:
Panel 16:

Once again a full page panel with all the covers of the previous comics and the words "The Adventures of SuperDude; Still internationally rated as an A class comic publication."

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the Top
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

The shady figure was very much amusing himself when the creatures, HIS creatures played in the national team. No one of them had any chance to play in the national team before he took care of them and now they were considered the future of the national team. He cackled evilly (as shady figures do). The Orange-Blues won 3:1, partly thanks to the three players, which in reality were 'upskilled' by his technology. Of course, this was only the beginning, but soon there would be the league of upskilled, not as impersonal as a holographic one, but very rejistani one. He did not even think of sharing his code, so much was clear. Despite all his madness, he still was rejistani and patriotic.

"Hello Greg?" Dr. Carlos Rameriz said.

"Yes, who is this?" Greg replied.

"It's Carlos." he said.

"Hey, hows it going?" Greg asked.

"It's going good, I called you for a reason believe it or not. He is ready." Carlos said.

"He is!" Greg said sounding shocked. "He is out of the facility?" Greg asked.

"Yep, his condition has gotten better, and he's ready to be a lean, mean, goal scoring machine." Carlos said.

"Awsome, but we can't use him for this cup." Greg said. "O, well thanks for the good news though." Greg finished.

"Just some side effects to tell you, he will be very violent if you get him going, so don't get him going." Carlos said. "So do you want us to keep training him, and making him better?" Carlos asked.

"Definitly, keep me updated. I have to go" Greg said.

"Bye." Carlos said.

Demot Daily ~ Victory Overshadowed by Tragedy

What should of been a night of celebration all through the entire country was instead a night where questions were abound about the sudden and tragic death of the Satitaville star goal keeper. Since that death, the Skyhaven police have been investigating the matter, and in a conference earlier this afternoon, they announced their findings.

"After a spending countless investigating this matter, we have come to the conclusion that Trent Rauda died due to an air bubble in his bloodstream, that when it entered the heart, cause a sudden and major cardiac trauma, or in other words, a heart attack. The cause of this air bubble is still being looked into, but initial reports point to the bottle of wine delivered to his room the previous night. We will continue to update you as the investigation reveals further details, until that time, we have nothing more to say on the matter."

In the wake of this tragedy, the Dynamo did defeat the Stoner squad, a resounding four to one, with Black matching a career high with all four games. The team will try to keep their focus as they host the unimpressive squad from Dj8989, and look to put a stangle hold on their spot in the third place in the table, while hoping for Marauder victory over the traumatized Satitaville squad.

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

"Are you ready for the debate tournament?"

"No"

"Come on man its this weekend we have only a couple of days left. It's a new year which means a new topic. You need to get rolling."

"The aff is ready but the neg needs work."

"How?"

"The D/A doesn't have a good uniqueness and the CP we're going to run just doesn't have it."

"It?"

"Yes it the stuff that we need."

"Ok, anyway did you here about JJ Floren?"

"Yeh, he got to quarters didn't he?"

"Yeh he bid."

"You're kidding me, the kid is terrible."

"Apparently his partner is amazing."

"Oh dear"

"I know we need to do better like the Warriors."

"Not the national team again"

"Yes they beat Mateys and now they have 3rd place for sure, 3 points up over them and we don't play either LE or Bettia while they have to play both including Bettia on the last day of qualifying."

"Why do I care? You know I don't like sports"

"Who else am I supposed to talk to?"

"Him"

"Who is him?"

"Don't ask dumb questions"

"I'm asking!"

"Stop it!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"
"No!"
"No!"

"Yes!"
"Yes!"
"Yes!"

"Your moving your head the wrong way"

"It's a Singing in the Rain reference you idiot"

"Your the fool who never bid"

"Oh shut up, I didn't have the best debater in my country as my partner."

"Like I did?"

"Ummmmm yeh. Top speaker at nationals and the TOC finals in both. Pretty damn good there."

"He didn't carry me though?"

"We'll see this weekend because if he didn't then we should at least break if not bid."

"Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrre"

"Yep"

"Ok"

"Whatever"

"Go Cubs!"

OOC: My creative juices are clearly near 0 and considering right now my life is obssessed with debate might as well use some RL inspiration.

- Matchday 13 RP Cutoff -


MD13 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11884583&postcount=14)

QAZOXIAN TIMES

TRENT RAUDA 1894-1915

An update from Demot as Trent Rauda, former star keeper for the Sativaville Stoners, was found dead the other day in his hotel room. According to local authorities, Trent had a condition named exercise-induced ventricular tachycardia, which caused an arrythmic heartbeat. Trent apparently had ordered a bottle of wine, which combined with Beta-blockers taken to combat his disease, cuased his heart to stop beating. By the time he was found, at approximately 11:52 pm, he was declared dead. Offically, the cause of death will be listed as myocardial infarction or in laymans terms a heart attack.

In action today, the Black Oxen travelled to Quakmybush, looking to get any points against the Sharks. Both teams fought long and hard, but in the end nothing was really decided as they finished equal in a 2-2 draw. Quakmybush's Mike Martin started the scoring in the 42nd minute, lifting anicely played cross, past Juila Kidd, giving the home squad a 1-0 half time lead.

Qazox' Rene LaTreque answered with a goal in the 54th minute, after Bob Hughes of Quakmybush was called for a questionable handball just in front of the net. Rene promptly scored on the ensuing penalty kick, tying the match up at 1-all.

Quakmybush would re-take the lead in the 68th minute when Cory Sorley, ran past a out of position Jule Winne and gave the Sharks a 2-1 lead. But these Black Oxen are seemingly unaware of losing, answering that goal with one in the 76th minute. Christian Likens lobbed a great free kick in the direction of the net, and Nelson Macgillivray headed it right past Cam Carroll of Quakmybush, to re-tie the match at 2-all. Neither side could get a decent shot on net over the last 15 minutes, and Qazox left with the point they needed.

Up next for the Black Oxen is the rematch at Starblaydia. The stars who have not lost since that shocking last minute defeat at Qazox, will definintely be looking for revenge against a possibly weary Black Oxen squad that has spent the majority of the last 4 weeks on the road. No Upset of the Millenium II here folks, Starblaydia 3- Qazox 0.

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: The post-Trent Rauda Stoners today travelled to Elves Security Forces, and came away with a 0-0 draw, in which Trent Estorga stopped a team-record 20 shots on goal, but the aftermath of Trent Rauda's death still seems to be hitting the Stoners hard as they couldn't even manage an offical shot on goal.

Trent's Funeral will be tommorrow at Bob Marley Memorial Cemetary at 10:00 am. It is expected that among the Stoners, most will make it to the funeral, with the exception of Trent Estorga, whose wife is due to give birth at any moment. Estorga, told me today that if the child is a boy, his name will Br Trent Rauda Estorga, if a girl her name will be Rauda Jillian Estorga.

Up next for the grieving Stoners is a match with Krytenia at home. The game will be played about 3 hours after Trent's Funeral, despite requests to postpone the match a day. Sativaville will wear Black jeresys with the number #1 on the back, effectively making the entire team the same number.

DOWNLOADING DAY THIRTEEN SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY THIRTEEN SCORE- GREEN WOMBAT 2- NEBULEUX 0

GOALS: GW:HERMES CONRAD (9) 13TH MINUTE; SCOOBY DOO (2) 85TH MINUTE


GMAE SUMMARY: Easy win for the FZW as they took care of Nebuleux 2-0 at home. Hermes Conrad continued his recent run of brillance scoring his 9th goal, and Scooby Doo scored late to end any chance of Nebuleux walking out with a tie. This win Leave Green Wombat 2 point behind Az-Cz for the last spot, but Tynelia's Draw with Sel Appa, moves the FZW back into 4th place alone.

The next game is against Rejistania who beat us 2-0 at home. Not much chance is expected that the FZW can pull off the massive upset.

Also of note was the passing of Sativaville's star goalie Trent Rauda. The government of Green Wombat has sent its regards to the family of this player, who could have been one of the all-time greats.

Three Rivers Times
“Voted ‘Best Crossword Puzzle’”

JSY just what the doctor ordered for struggling Raptors

COMMERCE HEIGHTS – The starting midfielders were among the players the Raptors were without as they prepared to face the Comets of JSY. Three starters were out because of red cards, while another four were benched for their roles in the brawl against New Montreal States, and starting goalie Liza Kohl was given a rest after allowing five goals. Nonetheless, Aurendia’s reserves proved up to the task, defeating JSY 3-1 to move up the Group Six standings and preserve hopes of qualifying.

Following a back-and-forth opening twenty minutes, Aurendia scored their first goal when Randy Floyd found an open Regina Dunlop in the 28th minute. A determined JSY counterattack paid off eleven minutes later, as Lou McMann was overzealous trying to stop Tino Englert. The ref awarded JSY the penalty kick, and Englert easily converted to tie up the match.

The second half opened with more offensive play from the Comets, but this time nothing got past keeper Julia Kennedy or the Raptors’ defense. In the 57th, the Raptors successfully cleared the ball, and Kasia Nue scored to put Aurendia ahead for good. The Raptors D held off JSY attacks for another twenty minutes, until Tom Lamorieaux netted the insurance goal in the 81st.


Scoring:
1. A (R. Dunlop 2) 28th (Assist: R. Floyd)
2. JSY (T. Englert) 39th PK
3. A (K. Nue 1) 57th (Assist: A. Ellida)
4. A (T. Lamorieaux 1) 81st (Assist: M. Sanchez)

It's All Marc's Fault

Scientific proof developed at Baumanoir University

ST-MICHEL - Excitement is the dominant emotion at this small university town in the middle of the highlands, about 2 hours from Valdemont, as local researchers have announced that they have developed a mathematical proof that midfielder Marc Tessier, heretofore merely held responsible for the recent brawl at the Paladin Dome against Aurienda, is, in fact, responsible for just about everything that has gone wrong in recent months, both within the New Montreal States and in the wider NS world.

Professor Brian Foley of the Department with Too Much Time on Its Hands announced yesterday at a press conference the immenent publication in the scientific journal Le Monde des Sciences Purs a mathematical proof that Tessier's negative karma has grown to the point where all low-grade malicious occurances within the last four months can be attributed to him. The details of the proof are a bit arcane for publication in a newspaper; however, the solution is a derivation of the basic karmic equation -K = π + ¥¥¥ / (90+no. of drinks consumed in past 36 hours) discovered by famous Montrealais sage Baba O'Reiley.

Tessier's response to a reporter's question on the matter involved passing out on the podium from an excessive amount of alcohol. The fact that this press conference took place all of fifteen minutes after our 4-1 win over Bequerelia is either really, really worrisome or a testament to Tessier's ability to consume an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in ten minutes while changing.

PALADINS 4 - Tessier 14, 87, F. Labranche 23, Corcoran 66
BEQUERELIA 1

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Sharpenin The Axes

Just A Matter Of Time
Kujp Headed To Eastentown, Firing Expected Any Minute

Eastentown - Sorry Avarette, you comitted the fatal sin.

You didn't rally the troops to pound Kericia. And now the CFA want to see you.

Chicanada National Team Schedule

MD01 L 1-2 The Macabees
MD02 L 1-2 Jeruselem (@ TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD03 W 1-0 Tryannny
MD04 W 2-1 Kericia
MD05 W 4-1 Geisenfried (@ The Glen, New Glasgow)
MD06 L 2-3 Magnus Valerius
MD07 W 2-0 Montegrande (@ Hollish Field, Dover)
MD08 W 1-0 Cyredel (@ Stock City Grounds, Jaxx)
MD09 L 3-0 Ariddia
MD10 W 4-1 The Macabees (@ Canal4 Stadium, Manchester)
MD11 T 1-1 Jeruselem
MD12 W 1-0 Tryanny (@ Easten National Hall)
MD13 T 3-3 Kericia (@ Douala Palace)
MD14 @ Gelsenfried
MD15 v Magnus Valerius (@ Red Bull Stadium, Aspern)
MD16 @ Montegrande
MD17 @ Cyredel
MD18 v Ariddia (@ Southampton National Stadia)

While the National Team, under Assistant Douglas Milles, prepare to try and make up 2 points on Kericia against Gelsenfried, Kujp has been called to the offices here in Eastentown immediately, meaning a rather uncomfortable ride back to the National Traininbg Grounds from Douala Palace.

While the 3-all Match showed the return of Michael Klobee, with bad hair still, he was too little way too late, subbed in by Kujp for only 20 minutes as he had his Marginal Diamond scheme collapse into a prevent-a-score 5-3-2 format. Rather than go for the win, the final 30 minutes of action saw the team play for a tie after Kericia tied the match up yet again at the hour mark 3-all. Chicanada started the scoring in the 17th, with Kericia scoring in the 25th and 43rd minutes followed by a Chicanada goal in stoppage time in the first half and the 3-2 lead in the 50th minute.

We'd say who scored, but like we care. We wanna know if the CFA have grown a pair.

Of course, some would say it would be a bad move the remove the coach of the National Side with 5 games left. It would be paramount of admitting defeta and playing for next season.

But in this case, the team looked bored with Kujp's strategy and was willing to just submit. If Kujp is finally axed from trying to kill the OSers and replaced with Miller, who is the head coach of Derby when not playing Kujp's error-fixer, many expect Miller to rejuvenate the side, possibly by ditching the 3-1-3-1-2 Diamond formation for a 4-3-3 traditional attack pattern.

When Yerevan Malli took over for Clint Dempsey (now of Depot fame himself) he ditched Dempsey's 4-2-4 Mad Attackers project with the Marginal Diamond to surprising success and three cups. So maybe it's time for a change.

But definitly not under Kujp, who's proving to be a waste of air molicules.

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

A Hard day at the Office

Page 1:
Panel 1:

"We should go to the office first." said James as Louise was sitting down at the laptop reading the information. "Why? The Industrial complex looks more promising." retorted Louise. James was standing around and it looked like he was pacing around on ground. A small mouse with a familiar yellow cape could be seen by the astute reader heading outside the door. "Because we need evidence before we actually get in the Industrial center." replied Louise. "Okay, James. The Office it is."

Panel 2:

"Um where should we hide the Laptop?" wondered Louise. "Don't worry I've got the perfect place." said James. "I'll go and hide it while you go and find a Taxi." said James as he was closing upto the laptop. "Okay, How long will you be?" wondered Louise as she grabbed he purse. "Not Long. Just get a Taxi and I'll most likely be there." finished James. "See you down there."

Panel 3:

James was just standing there as Louise closed the door behind her as she left.. "See you." She said "Don't be long! I won't be waiting" she said. "Don't worry. I won't be." he said. There was no activity in the actual room. Louise was outside and James was inside standing almost perfectly still. The door, well that one could be debated for hours but this was quite an inactive panel

Panel 4:

This panel was quite different a small map of the NSEarth where the region of Atlantian Oceania (and hence Bazalonia, and Yihsrael/Atheistic Right) A red line was drawn from AO up into the arctic nether regions and into his secret place deep hidden inside the ice.

Page 2:
Panel 5:

James was walking out of the front door of the hotel as the Taxi had just pulled up. "Ahh, there you are." said Louise with a slight smile on her face. "I was about to leave without you." The smile on her face made it obvious that she was joking. "O, ye of little faith." James said as he made his way to the Taxi. "I told you I wouldn't be long." "So where do you people want to go?" asked the Taxi driver. "425 Prayer Laneway, thanks." said Louise "Okay, hop in. I'll take you." "Hurry up, James." was the last snide comment that Louise seemed to get in. James did not have a reply apart from "coming.."

Panel 6:

The Taxi had arrived outside the Ides of March Inc. offices and now was driving off after it had been assumed to have been paid. "This looks familiar, somehow." said Louise. "It does, infact, I think I know how come." Said James. "There was Lion, or Lioness, never could tell, with a soccer ball in it's mouth here and ." he finished saying pointing to one place with one hand and another place with the other. "Still can't place it." commented Louise. "This was the headquarters for the Atheistic Right Football Association, ARFA." said James finally letting people know what the building was. And indeed in front of the old ARFA building looked like this and indeed there where 2 statues of a Lion with a soccer ball in it's mouth.

Panel 7:

"I wonder if anyone's home?" said Louise as she pushed on the door which had no 'open' or 'closed' sign on it. To her surprise the door was opening without any fuss. "I guess that answers your question." said James as the two of them started going into the building. The street outside was reasonably busy but no one was paying any attention to the building or the people trying to gain access to it. "I wonder who will meet." said Louise as the two had no idea what was indeed instore for them inside the building.

Page 3:
Panel 8:

Inside the building it looked very nice, obviously remodeled after Atheistic Right had lost the war. It was a lobby, on the far end was a set of 2 elevators, on the right a reception desk that was vacant and on the left a number of sofa and other comfortable pieces of furniture for someone to park their behind. "Hmmm... Does not seem to be active." said Louise. "I wonder for how long." said James. On the reception desk there was a computer. "How about we go and see what information we can find there?" James suggested. "Good idea, I'll do it." said Louise as the two of them made their way to the computer.

Panel 9:

Louise sat at the computer and started typing away. There was a small web-browser open that displayed the current result of the Bazalope match in Brownwick. Brownwick 1 - 5 Bazalonia. "I don't know how the Bazalopes lost before." randomly commented James. "Ah, here we are. This is apparently an office building there are many offices located here. Ides of March Inc. 2nd floor to the right." Louise informed "Good, let's go!" said James as a loud Crash noise echoed throughout the panel.

Panel 10:

A large man approximately 230cm or 7'6" tall and by any stretch of the imagination a small framed person, you'd think think that 150 kilograms and 330 pounds as an extremely conservative estimate of his weight. The man was weilding a extremely long and large sword, a claymore, and in his kilt and tartans he was SuperClaymore. "Don't worry James, Louise. SuperDude has asked me to help you with your fact finding mission here." The words came our of SuperClaymore's mouth and the reaction to his sudden appearance being the bulky and obviously dangerous man he is made both of them react in a scared manner. Though what James really was thinking. "What perfect timing."

Page 4:
Panel 11:

In total surprise it seemed like ninja's appeared out of no-where, some dropped from the ceiling which was fairly high and others came from secret compartments in the walls. Soon the room was almost chock full of said Ninja's. "Kaaa-zai" they all said. The ninja's were in typical ninja clothes full black tight fighting clothes with only holes for the eyes cut out. So while the Ninjas said "Kaa-zai". Louise, James and SuperClaymore all exclaimed "Ninja's"

Panel 12:

"Stay Behind me." said SuperClaymore as the first of the Ninja's leaped high into the air yelling at the top of his lungs "KIIIIIIIIAAAAAAA!!"

Panels 13-14:

A swish of the Claymores blunt side struck the ninja in the chest "Ummpff" said the Ninja as he was indeed winded by the encounter and then thrown back onto his own compatriates knocking them down to the ground and back quite a few metres in response to the heavy blow laid by Super taking care of upto 15 ninja's including splash damage.

Panel 15:

"I can do this ALLL day." said SuperClaymore as waves of the Ninja's started at him as well as James and Louise. Of course James was able to handily defend himself against the onslaught and Louise made good use of her purse as a weapon, years of living in Megacity can do that to a person.

Page 5:
Panel 16:

A fll page panel in this comic showed an unconcious mass of black lying on the floor. The Ninja's had obviously been defeated by the trio and SuperDude's secret identity, i.e. James Smith, was still safe, for the moment. "I'm glad I got here when I did, though you both did a great job on those ninja's too." said SuperClaymore. A Triumphant pose by the three characters in the middle of the mass of the bodies around them. "Now we only have to get up to Ides of March Inc. offices" said Louise. "And who knows what could lay instore for us when we get there.". Of course there was some infotext at the bottom of the page "20 minutes after the first ninja struck all the ninja's are now laying unconcious on the ground. Was indeed the Golden Lion ready? or was there something else happening? All will be revealed in the next... The Adventures of SuperDude."

Page 6:
Panel 17:

Another Full page panel with the 14 covers from the first comic to this one... "The Adventures of SuperDude, International recognised as an A-class publication" The images of all 6 superheroes where seen mixed in somewhere on this page.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard day at the Office
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

Ricky: I'm Ricky Pointy Stick
Dazza: And I'm just Dazza Dallas, oh yes and this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE

Ricky: Jeruselem lost it's first game in well, 13 games. At least we lost to a top ten seed.
Dazza: (sighs) We lost to Ariddia who won THREE ONE. They deserved to win indeed but it did not help us as you expect.

Ricky: Ariddia were the better team on the day and Jeruselem did score the last goal of the game when the game was lost. A penalty scored by Dazza herself but we did still lose. Not all is lost, because our opponents made a mess of the opportunity.
Dazza: You'd think someone would take advantage when we lost - well Ariddia did and claimed to top and we fell to 2nd but the others did not make this round count. And yes, a lot of draws!

Ricky: Not a good time to lose but we had to lose a game somewhere.
Dazza: Losing to Ariddia is no shame anyway. Losing to anyone lesser is.

Ricky: The Macabees finally got back on track, sort of, they won a game! OK they do have 5 wins but have been losing recently. They beat Montegrande TWO NIL and well, stay 7th. 8 points behind 6th.
Dazza: Montegrande fall to 2nd last.

Ricky: The bottom two clashed and then a miracle happened - someone won the game. Tryanny did beat Cyredel, but just. TWO ONE and well Cyredel are still last and Tryanny move to 3rd last.
Dazza: The second win for Tryanny and none for Cyredel. Cyredel look like getting a wooden spoon with one draw - and no wins at all. Sounds like the Jeruselem World Cup 11 campaign again.

Ricky: Lucky us, the 3rd to 6th placed teams played each other as did 1st and 2nd, which was the Ariddia vs Jeruselem game.
Dazza: And wouldn't you know it - one was a draw. Guess which team drew again - Kericia!

Ricky: Kericia played Chicanada and the team who won would have gained ground on Jeruselem. It finished 3 ALL and I think the top 2 liked the result.
Dazza: As Jeruselem captain, yes the draw was good. Kericia with two recent draws and poor old Chicanada can't make ground. Kericia stay 3rd on goal difference and Kericia move to 5th.

Ricky: Magnus Valerius are having trouble - they were once 2nd and have fallen to 6th below Chicanada. They have been losing games of late.
Dazza: Geisenfried beat them TWO NIL and are making progress unlike Magnus Valerius. Geisenfried are 4th but are not 3rd due to goal difference behind Kericia. Kericia and Geisenfried are tied on the same points and well, have both scored 39 goals each. Geisenfried have lost four games compared to Kericia's two but Kericia's draws have been costly.

Ricky: Let's look at Group 7 again.
Dazza: Ariddia get the top spot by beating us, Jeruselem but only by one point. Jeruselem hold a 3 point lead over Kericia. Kericia hold 3rd due to a better goal difference over Geisenfried who deserve to be 4th or even 3rd. The top 4 have a goal difference of +17 or better and this is going make life for 5th and 6th harder. Chicanada are 5th and Magnus Valerius 6th on the same points - 5 points behind Jeruselem. They have far inferior goal differences and need to get big wins over the current top 4.

Ricky: Some good news - the Lions won. Both Lions won in fact. Nedalia beat Backwardistan TWO ONE and need more of these wins. They can't afford any more losses and hope the Bedistan Lions can help them too.
Dazza: Nedalian men are cute but Jeruselem girls are cuter.

Ricky: You talking about me then Dazza? I go agree with you about Jeruselem girls. My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world.
Dazza: You're just saying that because she's your wife, but that's alright. You expecting competition around, like err me?

Ricky: Well, Dazza it's pleasure to work with you and Rachel Kool, but my wife is my wife and not anyone else's.
Dazza: Hehe, browning points is Ricky's here. Not even I can tempt him.

Ricky: Socialist Romanistan played the Terminators and well, got terminated.
Dazza: SEVEN NIL, but the Terminators are good - so good it's scary.

Ricky: Yo, I heard you've got most popular yourtube video yesterday.
Dazza: Oh yeah, that one.

Ricky: What happened?
Dazza: Well, I was sitting using my laptop wearing my towel and err nothing else. I had the webcam recording a video because I was making for the fans talking crap like I usually do when I do my yourtube videos. I'm lazy and I don't always watch the video I upload. Well, in this one - my towel got caught on my chair and kinda fell off, but I didn't realise it. So when I finished the video I just the towel back on and went to sleep, then uploaded the next day. Well, silly Dazza forgot the towel had fallen off and should not have uploaded that video.

Ricky: Interesing video indeed!
Dazza: I assume you saw it.

Ricky: Yeah, me and the boys the team liked it. They like you more now.
Dazza: I suppose you saw everything.

Ricky: Pretty much.
Dazza: That's going on the next DVD then!

Ricky: There you go, that's it from the football life.
Dazza: And Dazza does yourtube! Exciting stuff for well - perverts. Sweet dreams.

Ricky: Hey, this normal for you?
Dazza: Err, I think I've done this kinda thing twice before. I wonder why I'm so popular but at least I've got nothing to hide now. Oh yes, here's your Superdude comic

Ricky: Thanks Dazza.

Group 2:
Backwardistan [1] Nedalia [2]

Group 7:
Jeruselem [1] Ariddia [3]
Chicanada [3] Kericia [3]
Magnus Valerius [0] Geisenfried [2]
Tryanny [2] Cyredel [1]
Montegrande [0] The Macabees [2]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Ariddia 13 9 2 2 36-16 +20 29
[2] Jeruselem 13 8 4 1 31-14 +17 28
[3] Kericia 13 7 4 2 39-20 +19 25
4- Geisenfried 13 8 1 4 39-21 +18 25
5- Chicanada 13 7 2 4 23-17 +6 23
6- Magnus Valerius 13 7 2 4 21-20 +1 23
7- The Macabees 13 5 0 8 18-34 -16 15
8- Tryanny 13 2 2 9 9-32 -23 8
9- Montegrande 13 1 4 8 11-26 -15 7
10- Cyredel 13 0 1 12 10-37 -27 1


Group 8:
Liverpool England [7] Socialist Romanistan [0]

Cuation Hang On Against Dot.

This should have been over by the final whistle but after conceding a soft goal, Cuation where left struggling against a late bombardment by the home team. If not for a fantastic save in the dying seconds, it could easily have been a draw but a win does not disguise the worries this performance produced.

The first half was good, Cuation controlled the tempo of the half, playing it slowly around their own half and then attacking quickly. Fallen was at his best, never giving the ball away and making lift difficult for the home team. The final ball, at times, was lacking but both strikers got on the score sheet.

In the 30th minute, Fallen was outside the D and looked set to shoot when he played the ball behind the back line for Rual Mendiz, the striker's first touch getting the ball under control, the second sending it under the diving keeper and into the net.

In the 40th, the lead was doubled when Butcher's clever overlap gave Downing a lot of room to work his magic. The cross was powerful and accurate, Lu Fei’s volley was not but it beat the keeper via the post and that was all that mattered.

Half time, Cuation seemed set for another comfortable win, the players seemed to relax and play got sloppy. In the 70th minute, Butcher gave away a needless free kick to ORD and he was made to pay. Lofted high into the box, all three centre backs went for the ball but where beaten by the number 11 who flicked the ball into the six yard box.

The defender had left the Number 9 unmarked on the edge of the six yard box. Jude rushed out to try and force the header to be against his body but the forward mistimed it, chesting the ball past the keeper instead of heading it.

Forced to protect a narrow lead, Cuation sat back and defended well but struggled to keep hold of the ball when they had it. In one last attack, a cross in from the right found the number 9 unmarked 8 yards out, his powerful volley pushed away by Jude. It was a let off that Cuation may be grateful for when everything is finished.

The Sampsons!- Extra Spooky Halloween XII

Narrator: Today Gomer, Margy, Lara, Bert and Meggie decide to pass the time watching the Tynelian Soccer team hold an open to the public practice even though the weather is calling for rain today.

Gomer: Mmmm. Hot dooooggs! <drools>

Margy: Oh Gomey, can’t you just sit here and watch the practice and have fun with the whole family?

Lara: Mom’s right! Tynelia is playing very well and unless they lose their next eight straight games they’ll make the World Cup for the first time ever.

Bert: Oh don’t have an Ox Lara. Gomer’s right, this sucks.

Margy: Children behave! Ooooh why does this always happen whenever we got out?

<storm clouds gather and a heavy rain begins>

Gomer: OOOOH a donut stand! Mmmmm….donuts…. <drools again>

<suddenly there is a large flash of light and a lightening bolt hits the field which, given its rainy conditions instantly electrocutes everyone on the field as the ball flies off near the Sampsons>

Margy: Oh my!

Bert: Cool!

Lara: Oh no the wet field must have acted as a conductor for the electric current of the lightening bolt and killed everyone on the field. Good thing mom made us wear these full body rubber raincoats.

<camera pans back to see everyone in bright yellow rubber rainsuits>

Bert: They’re fine look they’re starting to move already. Hey look I got us a souvenier! <holds up the soccer ball he grabbed as it bounced by them>

Gomer: Woohooo! Free soccer ball, way to go boy!

Lara: um dad, they don’t look too good…

<cut to a close up on one of the players who have a blank vacant eyed look in their pale eyes as their hair stands on end. The players slowly rise and seem to be looking for something. They see Bert holding the ball just out of reach of Meggie laughing as she tries to get it and one raises an arm to point it out. The players begin to shamble over towards the Sampsons>

Margy: Oh my Gomey, they’re coming this way. They don’t look too happy either.

Gomer: <muching away on hotdogs and donuts oblivious to everything around him> that’s nice Margy.

Margy: No Gomey, look I think they want something.

Lara: I bet they want their ball back. Quick Bert give it to them!

Bert: No way man, they lost this ball fair and square. <turns to the players and shouts> Hey you want this? <holds up the ball as the players moan something> Well eat my shirt! Ha ha!

Lara: No Bert you made them mad now!

Players: uhhhhhhhhhh…..baaaaaalllllllllll…..nooooowwwww….. miiiinnnneee….

<the players start to shamble forward more quickly, their limbs flinging around wildly getting closer>

Lara: Dad! The lightening turned them all into zombies make Bert give the ball back!

Gomer: hmm? No way! If they want that ball back they’ll have to fight me for it. <turns around and sees the zombies> AHHHHHHHH! <flees for his life bowling over anyone else in his way>

Margy: Gomey come back! <sees the zombies get closer> Kids run! <grabs Meggy who is still trying to get to the ball and runs>

Margy,Lara,Bert: AAAAAAAAAHHH!

<they see Gomer run into a small shed>

Margy: Gomey! Wait, let us in! <arrives just as Gomer slams the door shut> GOMEY! You forgot about us! Open the door hurry!

Gomer: Oh no you don’t miss zombie soccer player. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past Gomer J. Sampson. My family is right here inside with me. <turns around to gesture at the otherwise empty room> N’oh!

Lara and Bert: Let us in. Ahhhh look its zombie May Jasterson! he’s going to kill us!

Bert: Ya know Lara, May is a pretty lame name for a guy.

May Lasterson: Baaaaaallllllllll…..miiiiiiiinnnnneeeee….

Margy,Bert and Lara: AAAAAHHHHH! OPEN THE DOOR!

<Margy puts Meggy down to pound on the door with both hands. Meggy crawls over to get a stick to help reach the ball still being held by Bert>

<meanwhile inside Gomer now has a camouflage military helmet on, a knife between his teeth, a cheap towel as a cape and a scowl on his face>

Gomer: No body touches my…N’oh! AAAAH I cut my lip. <drops the knife from his mouth and runs around in panicy circles trying to stop the bleeding from the very small cut on the side of his mouth> Oh why do they have to make knives so sharp. <he finishes in a whining tone>

Margy: Gomey! Open the door!

<zombies now have the shed and the Sampsons completely surrounded as Margy, Lara and Bert all tremble in fear as Meggie continues her single minded task of getting the ball from Bert>

Zombies: baaaaaalllllll……miiiiiiinnnneeee….nooooooowwwwww….

Sampsons: AHHHHHHH! <Gomer screams even louder from inside> MY FINGER! Damn stupid sharp knives!

Margy: close your eyes children and it’ll all be over fast.

<suddenly the sound of broken glass can be heard as a knife flies out of the shed and hits the soccer ball in Bert’s hands deflating it. The ball and knife drops to the ground at Meggy’s feet as she happily grabs it and giggles and coos as she tosses it up in the air>

<the zombies see the ball deflate and they hunch their shoulders over in defeat>

May Jasterson: Baaaalllllll…..deeeeaaaaaddddd….neeeeewwww….baaaallllll….

<zombies all turn and walk away in disappointment until they see Fled Nanders and his kids playing catch a few feet away>

Zombies: Baaaalllllll…..miiiiiinnneeee….

<Nanders sees the zombies approach and flees screaming with his children, the zombies in hot pursuit>

<Margy opens her eyes and sees the zombies have left as Gomer finally opens the door and leaps out with a broom in his hand>

Gomer: OK you lousy zombies I’ll…huh? <looks around and sees no zombies>

<Margy leaps into Gomer’s arms and gives him a kiss> Oh Gomey you saved us!

Lara: Yeah way to go dad!

Bert: You rule man!

<Gomer looks around in further confusion before he turns in the opposite direction that the zombies went off in and shakes his fist menacingly>

Gomer: And don’t come back or I’ll give you more of the same! I root for Starswordya anyway! <mutters> lousy no good zombies

Margy: OK I think we have enough adventure for today everyone. Let’s just go home.

Gomer, Bert and Lara: OK

<Margy picks up Meggy as the sun suddenly comes out and birds begin singing and the laughter of small children as be hears as the shot pulls back as the Sampsons walk off. Suddenly you see the tiny image of three small figures getting caught by a horde of zombies and hear a faint cry in the background>

Fled Nanders: Aaaaaaahhhh! Lord save us! Not my legs! Nooooo!

<credits roll>

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png Jeruselem 1-3 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

Closer than ever in Group 7

The Rouge-et-Noirs were no doubt beginning to forget what an Ariddian stadium looks like, as they headed abroad once more for their fourth consecutive away match. . . and, on paper, their most difficult match of the qualifying stages.

Just two points behind Jeruselem at its start, the Ariddians knew they could take the lead by defeating their skilled opponents. It was the match everyone in Ariddia was waiting for.

The usual eleven walked onto the field for the Rouge-et-Noirs, and proceeded to test Jeruselem’s defences, soon finding them to be as solid as expected. The opening goal, surprisingly, came in the seventh minute, when Hanifah Kyaw scored with her head after a corner kick by Uha Teh. Ariddian supporters cheered, but were very much aware that the game was far from over.

For the remainder of the first half, both sides played superbly. Jeruselem needed to equalise, while the Rouge-et-Noirs were not content to simply defend their one goal advantage, and were hungry for more. But both teams’ defences were more than up to the task of preventing any further goals.

That is, until Tadjou Senaya broke the deadlock in the fiftieth minute. Two-nil up against Jeruselem, in a stadium packed with the latter’s supporters, Ariddian fans began to feel confident in victory. In the seventy-first minute, Chloé al Safi handed them a reason to cheer, scoring a third goal. Joyful shouts of “Et un… et deux… et TROIS ZE-RO!” rang out from the few Ariddians in the stadium.

It was not quite to be, however. A goal by Dazza Dallas in the eighty-fifth minute rewarded the Jeruselem team’s valiant efforts, while still leaving the Ariddians very happy.

Ariddian defender Ke Sho ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ke_Sho), brought in during the second half, continued to impress, suggesting that the young Indigenous Ariddian will be one of the stars of the future.

As it stands now, the PDSRA is just one single point ahead of its most dangerous opponent at the top of Group 7. Both teams will have to play their utmost best as they continue to battle it out indirectly through encounters with other teams.

At the UAFF, things were rather downhearted, after another dull 1-0 win (over the group's total whipping boys, Ancient Byzantine, who had conceded 46 in 11 games before the game. A collective sigh of relief had been breathed throughout Anastasiania when Mika Kuusisto finally clobbered in the deciding goal.)

However, the next match was against Northern Caesarea, third-placed in the group, and with that kind of lack of attacking poise the team would most definitely lose. Some cunning plan would have to be devised, and it appeared manager Ylli Petkonen had little to come up with.

In desperation, they asked a former coach from the days before Rebirth whether there was any sure-fire ways of victory.

"Well..." he said. "Do you know how Rejistania are so good?"

"Good training regimes, football-mad culture, twelve rungs of league football..."

"No, no and no. They've got a math-logic device."

"A what?!"

"Math-logic device. You know. Thingummy that takes in numbers and spits out numbers. You've got plenty of them around in this new country."

"Oh...a computer? Well, what's that gotta help?"

"It makes tactics. It's a devious thing, though...it always makes Rejistania win."

"Well, we're not playing Rejistania, so thanks!"

---

"Now what do we do?"

"Well, it's obvious. We hack into this Rejistanian computer. Hexatux, was that what it was called?"

"Aye."

" It surely works - I've seen some recent callups that have just been insane. Yet they keep winning games."

"Just like any normal coach, then."

"Shush. Well, surely it's connected to the internet somewhere. We'll just set our computer guys to it."

"Do we have any computer guys?"

"Ministry of Defence, I'm sure there are some football fans over there. Last time I went there they pasted coverage of Wickshire playing cricket all over the main hall, so they're clearly keen sports fans."

"OK...we don't have much time though. The game is in two days."

"Let's catch the bus, then!"

---

"Well, yes...I can get into the Rejistanian Internet, no problems there."

"Good!"

"But what you're asking me to do is tantamount to industrial espionage."

"No, not at all. Just borrowing some computer power from that grand machine, surely they'll have more than the Anastasianian servers put together? And in any case, just leave some defence secrets in their computer and it's even."

"Sigh. It's a good thing we live in a country where football is more important than bombs."

"That's my man."

The two UAFF officials left without a further word, leaving Sven Pettersson to do his job quietly.

---

The following day, a rather uncertain-looking man turned up at the UAFF desk.

"Yes?"

"My name is Sven Petterson. I'm here regarding the tux issue?"

"Oh yes. You'd want Leena Arkivuo. Third floor. Room B319."

"Thank you." He took determined steps towards the elevator, and after nearly bumping into an official with the fixture list for Anastasianian Division Two, he entered.

As he exited, he noticed a trilingual sign with the words "ANASTASIANIA NATIONAL TEAM". Wow. A whole floor. What my tax money goes to, he thought to himself, as well as mentally ticking off the rooms. 311,313,315,317,...321? What?! He looked around bemused.

"Oh! Another one! Look, 319 is right down the corridor you came. Sorry about all that, Leena is a bit too posh to go down here to us. She got her room moved without changing the number, since that would mean she had to change her address and whatnot."

Andersson was pondering this mysterious Ms Arkivuo as he paced his way back down the corridor: sure enough, room B319 was right past the elevator, with room B331 to the left of it. He knocked on the door.

"Ms Arkivuo? I've got some information regarding the tux..."

"Oh, right, it's you." The woman, with gray hair and thin, long arms, sighed, turned her chair slowly around to face the door, and made an ushering notion towards Sven. "Come in."

"Er...may I ask why you are in charge of this issue?"

"I'm asking the questions here. You're under our employment...for these minutes, anyway. So, what have you found?"

"I've put Anastasianian league stats for the top couple of leagues in the computer. It appears we've picked about eight wrong players in the first XI."

"Eight?! How did we manage that?"

"Well, it appears none of them are very good at playing together. So we need to change, and abruptly, otherwise we're probably going to lose two or more goals. Here's the output, by the way." Sven dumped a two-inch thick bunch of paper on Leena's table.

"Hm...I'll look through it."

---

"OK...it appears I've had orders from higher up, lads." Petkonen said to his team after the last training in Northern Caesarea.

"What?"

"Well, we're going to make wholesale changes to the eleven. Eight men out. All the Mikas are in, except for Koivisto, and that's about it."

"HUH?!" a collective roar arose from the squad. "Who told you this?"

"A Rejistanian computer. Just trust me on this one. It looks weird, but if I don't field this side, I'll get sacked, someone in the UAFF will take over, and we'll still field the same side."

"Weird."

"You said it."

---

Of course, Anastasiania got pummeled. With a couple of Division One players, who were as bemused about the call-up as the local commentators, the side was neither fit enough nor capable enough to string together passes against an experienced Northern Caesarea side. Evaristo was spectacular, scoring a hat-trick, though as one Anastasianian fan put it:

"They don't know how to tackle."

---

The phone of Sven Andersson had been ringing steadily all day. He hadn't dared pick it up. He had been getting rather obscene emails from the entire UAFF all day, claiming everything had gone wrong, the computer was a stupid idea, and so on. Conveniently forgetting, of course, that it hadn't been his idea - just those two guys who hadn't even said their name, just barged in and demanded he did the job.

He realised what had happened, of course. The Rejistanians had rerouted him to another computer or something - certainly fed him false data - made sense after all, it wasn't supposed to be that easy. He sighed, went back to his work on cracking Schiavone military codes, and hoped he would be forgotten.

Az-cz Scroll
Jex-Kia
Em-Nm

Gnomes obliterate Algal States, set sights firmly on qualification

After a string of close games either for or against them, with no games decided by more than two goals, the Gnomes finally had a completely one-sided match. The Temple of Yak was playing host to a World Cup match for the first time and the local fans turned out in extreme numbers, with extreme passion. Their were a ton of Clerics jerseys spread out through the crowd and the home boys didn't disappoint.

The Gnomes took control of the game early. Crisp tackles, sharp passes and decisive runs put Algal States back on their heels quickly. However good goal tending was able to keep the Gnomes off the board for half an hour. However right on the 30 minute mark the Algal States facade began to crumble. Pizelkaxrovsky recieved a nice feed from Ns-Ta and swung it quickly forward to Kn-Dg, who put the Gnomes up a goal.

The second goal game 7 minutes later on a beautifully executed short corner. Kn-Dg shorted it to Levesque who slipped it quickly back to Kn-Dg who curled the ball in past the keeper to pick up his second of the game.

His wing partner for the Clerics got into the action just before the half. Zax-Im passed the ball to Ml-Dni who had snuck up the wings. He reversed the ball to Levesque who blasted home just before the start of stoppage time in the first half.

The Gnomes came out for the second half in their regular formation and proceed to attack attack attack. It didn't take much longer for Algal States to surrender again, with Kn-Dg making a beautiful interception and going in on his own to tap the ball past the keeper with a beautiful misdirection. He had finished off his hat trick in the 3rd minute of the second half.

At that point the coaches took the air out of the ball, switching into what might be described as a 5-5-0. They took Pizelkaxrovsky, Stanleyinho, and Levesque out of the game and brought on Lo-Ro, Du-Tre, and Hmr-Pn.

With such a defensive formation the Pink & Green had nary another chance in the game, but the Algal States barely looked like they were trying. Rather than a football match the last 40 minutes of the game were a party for the home fans. They just relaxed and enjoyed the teams victory.

The Gnomes now leave home for one match as they travel to the foot of the table in Pablicosta, where a full three points should be in the taking. Looking at the other teams battling for the third qualifying spot, Green Wombat sits in fourth two points back, but they travel to Rejistania next so the Gnomes have a chance to increase their lead. Tynelia sits two points behind them in fifth after a draw with Sel Appa that put a further damper on their chances. They play host to Schiavonia, so they might also lose ground on the Robbers. D2R sits a further 6 points behind them, a full ten points behind the Gnomes and looks to hold on to their sliver of hope as they travel to Nebuleux.

Stats

Score Az-cz 4 Algal States 0
Az-cz Scorers 30, 37, 48 Kn-Dg 45 Levesque
Possession Az-cz 80% Algal States 20%
Shots Az-cz 15 Algal States 1
Corners Az-cz 2 Algal States 0

Jo-El: Joining us today after their fabulous victory against Algal States are coach Hawdon, Zax-Im and today's man of the match, Kn-Dg.

Hawdon: Finally. We finally played a complete game. We were unquestionably the better team. Not for 15 minutes, not for 30 minutes, not for a half, but for the entire game. We're still at a disadvantage as far as goal differential goals, but this was a very good sign.

Az-cz reporter 1: Are you starting to think about qualification?

Hawdon: Of course. How could we not. But we're still focused on the job ahead and know that we need to maintain our focus for each game or we'll give up valuable points and squander this wonderful chance we've earned ourselves.

Az-cz reporter 2: Kn-Dg tell us your feelings on the first ever game held in your clubs stadium.

Kn-Dg: Fantastic. I knew that we could provide a tough setting for opponents coming in and I was very happy that my game was really clicking today, which allowed me to net my hattrick. Just a fantastic game.

Az-cz reporter 3: After a win like this how do you keep the team focused on the upcoming match with Pablicosta?

Zax-Im: Let me get this one. Our focus is totally locked in. We know that we can't disregard Pablicosta. We had some mental struggles earlier on, but I think we're really on top of that part of our game now.

Frank Dee: Coach Hawdon, it was after the Pablicosta match the first time around that you had your stress attack. Are you worried about a repeat of such an event?

Hawdon: Not really. Hopefully my players will put up a big win and I won't have any stress to deal with. I've been doing exercises and things to keep my stress level down, so even if something goes wrong I should be ok.

Az-cz reporter 4: Kn-Dg, are you suprised that it took 13 matches for the first Az-cz hattrick of the tournament?

Kn-Dg: No. Hat tricks aren't super common occurrences. I don't think it means anything that we didn't have a hat trick in our first twelve games. So long as we win I'm pretty certain hat tricks don't mean much. Sure it's nice, but it's not the goal.

Az-cz reporter 5: Coach, were you suprised by Sel Appa taking a point off of Tynelia, and how does that affect the race?

Hawdon: Of course I was. It affects the race positively for us and Green Wombat and negatively for them obviously. But they could still make a run. They've got a tough schedule ahead of them, making it hard for them to make up the points. But they've got the talent to take points off of Rejistania and Schiavonia and by no means are they out of this thing.

Az-cz reporter 6: Are you considering giving Gn-Lg a rest in either of these next two matches so he's fresh for the last three?

Hawdon: Nope. We're riding him the whole way. Until we've qualified or eliminated he's starting, barring unforseen circumstances. It's not like we're playing everyday. There ought to be enough time between matches for him to rest up.

Jo-El: We now come to today's voice of the fan. This question comes from Nw-Cm of Lei-Laz. He writes "I'm the captain of my high school soccer team. What advice would you give to young soccer players?"

Hawdon: Don't focus too much on soccer. I know that sounds like weird advice, and clearly you need to practice a lot. But I'm telling you having something else other than soccer will both give you a way to pull yourself away from the football and refocus and will also help give you a different perspective. If you only have football you often can't pull yourself out of ruts.

Zax-Im: If you want to be a great footballer, you have to study football. Watch tons of football, be it world cup, club, or amateur level. When you watch a good team try to figure out what they do that makes them so good and when you watch a poor team try to figure out what they would do. Think about what you'd do and say if you were a coach. And read about tactics as well. The mental aspect is more important than the physical aspect.

Kn-Dg: My advice would be to play up. You can learn by watching poor opponents, but not so much by playing them. Look to get involved with games against more physical more skilled opponents and you'll get better.

Jo-El: That's good advice Nw-Cm, take it to heart. Good luck to the team in Pablicosta. We'll see you again soon.

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f141/DarthBunny/ns_stuff/sg-title.png
Read SG online - http://sports.rta/gazette/

Streaking Losers
by Charles Neumann

ISLE OF UHM - After the match in Spaamanian Plijous (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11880954&postcount=530) I said, "Support your team and country. Show up naked [at the Turori match], please!" and I can say I am happy to see how many people adhered to my request.

Even our national football team showed up almost completely naked, but none of this seemed to be enough to provide a distraction to the Turorian team, but, in retrospect, this was something I should have known. Not only are they not human, the football-playing Cocoabos from Turori have been trained to play the sport since birth and that is all they seem to focus on. They probably would have continued to play football even if the stadium had been hit by lightning and everyone would have been turned into zombies, while at the same time a West-Ariddian Elvis-impersonator in a Cocoabo costume would be ridiculing their nation.

So, another 1-4 loss against Turori, but I am fairly confident that this streaking loss will not become a losing streak, as our team's next opponents are Lexington SC and Bushes Been Quaked. Spruitland may cause some problems, and Marion Oaks 2 and Lovisa should be no problem again.

This could very well mean that Ropa-Topia will move back into the top 3 which would be needed to qualify for the World Cup, but this is mostly going to depend on what Spruitland does.


Schedule
10. Home: Fmjphoenix - W 3-1 (Away: W 3-1)
11. Away: Oliverry - L 1-5 (Home: L 2-3)
12. Away: Spaamanian Plijous - W 2-0 (Home: W 3-1)
13. Home: Turori - L 1-4 (Away: L 1-4)
14. Away: Lexington SC - Next (Home: W 2-1)
15. Home: Bushes Been Quaked - (Away: W 3-0)
16. Home: Spruitland - (Away: L 1-2)
17. Away: Marion Oaks 2 - (Home: W 1-0)
18. Home: Lovisa - (Away: W 3-0)

Nw-Cm flipped off his TV and turned to his friend Jay-Sn who had been watching the game with and press conference with him.

Nw-Cm: That was rad. My question even got chosen for voice of the fan.

Jay-Sn: Yeah it was great. The team looked awesome.

Nw-Cm: Yeah. They might be able to do it. They're well on their way.

Jay-Sn: If they win their next two than the match against Green Wombat in Mil-Bax could be for qualification.

Nw-Cm: Wouldn't that be wild.

World Cup Chat with Dan Reynolds and Adam Plumbtree


Presented by OSPN
"Welcome to World Cup Chat, im Dan Reynolds"
"And i'm Adam Plumbtree"
*Squeak*
"And we have a soecial guest today, its everyone's favorite server guarding Karelan cyber IRC bird, TuxBot!"
*Squeak*
"Do i smell trout?"
*Squeak*
"Ok someone get a translator here i dont speak Karelan"
*Squeak* Thanks for having me on the show guys!
"No problem Tuxie"
*Squeak* And yes, you smell trout
"Ok then Plummy lets move on to Group 5 action today"
"Righto"

Okielahoma [0] Vuam and Isma [0]

"Ouch thats hurts"
*Squeak* But thats a beautiful match, no goals scored at all!
"Sure Tuxie, but Okieans arent Karelan, we love goals"
*Squeak* Oh
"We really needed a win today Dan, but we just couldnt pull it out."
"Thankfully Anastasianiaiaiaia lost"
"Yeah but unfortunately they got beat by Northern Caesarea"
"So we arent mathematicall eliminated yet"
*Squeak* Get on with it!
"Yeah Dan get on with it"
"Nevermind then on to the next match"

Northern Caesarea [4] Anastasiania [1]

"We just talked about this"
*Squeak* Next!
"Hold your feathers there Tuxie"
*Squeak?* Sorry
"Ok no to the next game"

Ancient Byzantine [0] Harlesburg [2]

*Squeak* Ancient Byzantine sucks!
"Righto Tuxie, they have a massive 1 point they are 0-1-12, thats just disgraceful"
"They score goals like a 2 man Karelan team"
*Squeak* Hey!
"I just meant they dont score!"
*Squeak* Oh
"So the moral of the story is... Ancient Byzantine sucks?"
"Righto"

The Islands of Qutar [2] Casari [2]

"Hey Casari didnt win"
"Suprising enough, its about time they tied"
"Yeah but now they..."
*SQUEAK* Adam you smell like smoked trout!
"Err.. thats not trout Tuxie"
*Squeak* Oh right, pot, sorry Plummy
"Next!"

The Mice of Miceland [0] System Karela [0]

*Squeak* Bravo Karelan freinds, give no goals take no goals!
"Hmm lets see one shot on goal this game"
"yeah its abot 50 TuxBots playing"
*Squeak* 11 Actually

"Well thats all the time we have for now"
"We know you will miss us"
*Squeak* I love trout!
"So until next time
GO SOONERS!"
*SQUEAK*

---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 13 12 1 0 38-12 +26 37
[2] The Islands of Qutar 13 10 2 1 47-12 +35 32
[3] Northern Caesarea 13 9 1 3 31-14 +17 28
4- Anastasiania 13 6 3 4 22-19 +3 21
5- Okielahoma 13 5 4 4 25-21 +4 19
6- The Mice of Miceland 13 4 2 7 17-22 -5 14
7- Harlesburg 13 3 3 7 15-27 -12 12
8- System Karela 13 3 1 9 8-19 -11 10
9- Vuam and Isma 13 2 4 7 13-26 -13 10
10- Ancient Byzantine 13 0 1 12 5-49 -44 1

Raptors Robbed

Two games between the two and two lucky wins for Cuation, if this continues then the Raptors can feel cursed against. Cuation have been less then convincing in the two games since the half way stage and fans are beginning to expect the standard loss of form.

The first half was poor, Cuation containing the Raptors with ease but without going forward, our only half chance trickling into Kohl's hands. The second half looked to be more of the same when a stray Fallen pass, in the 53rd minute, found Tara Pellegri, the long shot clearly beating Jude with ease but hit the post and back out. Matt Sanchez should really have hit the target rather then hit Row Z.

Ten minutes later, a long ball resulted in a tussle between Lu Fei and Jeff Yaneohe with the tall striker going down far too easily. Rual Mendiz waved away the offer to take it so the target man, having gained the penalty, stepped up, striking the ball powerfully to the left and into the net.

Rual was replaced by Scott as the formation changed to even more defensive as Cuation hanged on well to the lead. In the end, Cuation where relived by the final whistle but know they must improve.

The whistle blew. That late goal had done it - the Swifts were out of the World Cup.

Time to prepare for the Cup of Harmony, thought Hacker, as he trudged back to the dressing room to speak to his team.

They were dreading it. They had had the hairdryer treatment before and the squad had seen a couple of members practically walk out. It was uneasy as Hacker walked through the door.

No-one said anything. Hacker looked at the dispirited squad before him and started to speak.

"Some things in life are bad. They can really make you sad...

Other things just make you swear and curse..."

A couple of them looked up in surprise.

"When you're chewing on life's gristle,

Don't grumble...give a whistle...

And this'll...

Make things turn out for the best...

Aaand...

Come on now, all together!!!"

They had been watching "Life of Kevin" on the way into the ground, from the Arthur Megapode's Comedy Hijinks programme team. And all joined with the chorus.

If we're going out, thought Hacker, let's go out defiant. Lord of Hosts next. Let's try and pulverize them.

The Sampsons!- Extra Spooky Halloween XII

Narrator: Today Gomer, Margy, Lara, Bert and Meggie decide to pass the time watching the Tynelian Soccer team hold an open to the public practice even though the weather is calling for rain today.....

....

Fled Nanders: Aaaaaaahhhh! Lord save us! Not my legs! Nooooo!

<credits roll>

Worst Simpsons parody ever....I mean BEST.. right.. Best ever... Very freaking hilarious.

“How’s your ankle, Tristan?”

“Fine, Coach.”

“You sure? This ain’t no stubbed toe we’re talking about here.”

“Good as new, Coach. Hell, better than new even.” He grabbed one of the empty soda cans from the top of a locker, dropped it on the floor, and slammed his heel down on it. It flattened with a loud crunch.

Tristan Verelst, the Wabbits goalkeeper, had been out of commission for several months with a broken ankle. With a pretty much shattered ankle, in fact. They’d had to put in a bunch of metal screws to put the thing back together.

All in all, Verelst had been lucky to get away with just a broken ankle though. Landing with an only partially deployed parachute could easily result in a slightly more serious injury.

Luckily for the Spruitland Wabbits, veteran goalkeeper Simon Briers had been more than ready to come off the bench and take his place in goal. His parachute had deployed just fine, thankfully. Which was lucky, really, because he had packed both chutes.

“Alright then,” the Coach said, slapping Verelst on the shoulder. “You’re playing tomorrow.”

With grinding teeth Simon Briers shoved his gloves into his training bag. As the coach left the dressing room, he took a deep breath and slid over to where Verelst was packing up his own stuff. When the goalkeeper noticed his older colleague approaching, he gave him an apologetic look.

“Sorry, Simon. Guess I’m playing again.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Briers waved. “Listen, I was just thinking, I have this cousin in Oliverry –”

“No shit! How did that happen?”

“Well, distant cousin, really. Black sheep of the family and stuff. Anyways, I was thinking, he’s a ski-instructor. Can get us some sweet discounts. You up for it? Next weekend, say?”

“I dunno, Simon. I’ve never been skiing before, and I don’t know if I should risk doing something like –”

“Risk what? You’ll be learning on the kiddies slope, man. That’s safer than crossing the street on traffic-free-day!”

“Well, I guess so, but –”

“Great! That’s settled then. Don’t forget your warm socks!”

The new lawnmower was in a big crate in the middle of a loading ramp. Somehow, Hill got a hold of a crowbar and climbed on top of the crate with skill that put her age to shame. With a grin that made Ruhlman just a bit more than a little nervous, the side of the crate quickly began creaking as it was pried off, until the side of the crate fell over and crashed against the concrete.

Ruhlman wasn't quite sure what he was looking at. But he knew one thing.

"That is not a freaking lawnmower."

Hill crouched down on the top of the crate, peering down inside. "Haha, I can't believe it."

"Hill, that's not a lawnmower."

"Actually, the blades are an attachment. So it's a lawnmower... in theory."

"So what is it when the blades aren't attached?"

"Then, Greg my boy, it is a recently decomissioned VS17 Scout Tank." Hill said, climbing down off the top of the crate. "Oh my god, it's even more awesome in person." She said, climbing on a tread and opening the cockpit hatch.

"... you say finding out we're a team of psychos is... a recent discovery?"

Hill was already half inside the tank. "Oh, sweet, they left a helmet! This is the best thing EVER."

"Hill!"

Hill peeked out of the tank cockpit, a helmet squarely on her head. "What the hell is it?"

"... what are we going to do with a tank?"

"Well... it's cheaper than buying a new big lawnmower. And the army has tons of decomissioned tanks that rot where they sit. So they had a maintence division put mounts on it... and they took off the gun... unfortunately... and shipped it to us. The lawnmower attachment comes tomorrow."

"... I... see. So what's the real reason?"

"I wanted a tank."

"So, am I a psycho too, Hill?"

Hill sighed. "It makes perfect sense when you think about it, Greg. Now this thing has half a tank of gas in it still, and I want to go and drive it around a bit. Are you going to come and help me figure out the controls, or be a pansy and go home?"

"Well..."

"I wish I had picked a fun assistant coach." Hill said, shaking her head. "There's another helmet in here." She said hopefully.

"... fine."

"Whooooo!" Hill cried out, ducking into the hatch. Greg climbed the tread slowly and lowered himself into the tank, muttering prayers as he went.

"What do you think we should name it?"

"What?"

"I'm thinking Milo, after the cat."

"... you know, for some ungodly reason, it fits."

"Of course it does, I'm a genius." Hill said, looking at an instruction booklet and flipping switches.

With just the slightest hint of a groan, the tank's engine growled to life. Hints of yelling eminated from the inside as the vehicle crashed through what's left of the crate and began rolling through the wide tunnels under the stadium.

---=--=---

"You know, you think we'd have a much worse record considering that our coaches never show up." Leir said, streching on the field.

"What do you have to worry about, Leir, we carried you all game against Qutar." Arrali said, kicking a ball across the field to Darcosi.

"Oh, you can stick it- what the hell?" Nina said, standing up and listening to a rumble.

"It's coming from underneath the stands." Tico said, watching.

The dark green tank slowly rumbled up the southwest ramp onto the field, stopping before crushing the corner flag. The hatch popped open and Hill popped out, looking like she was trying to get a signal on her cell phone. While talking on it, she climbed down, pulled out the hatch, reentered, and began driving across the field towards the team.

"... does she even see us?" Reimar muttered, watching the tank head directly towards the group of players.

"... you know, I wouldn't be surprised if she did, but ran us down anyway." Darcosi said, slowly moving towards the stands. Hill had driven to the center of the pack of players before stopping, turning off the engine, and sticking her head out of the tank hatch, still wearing the helmet.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Hill said, yawning, looking obviously tired. At the sounds of something else in the cockpit, she looked down and scowled. "No, you can't get out, I need a copilot."

"Um... who else is in there?" Darcosi said, biting her lip and trying not to laugh.

"Ruhlie is." Hill said. "Why are you here? We qualified already. In fact, we're the first too. You should be passed out drunk."

"Because... we want to keep up the momentum?" Reimar said, looking for approval.

"Pfft, you people are useless. I spent all night learning how to drive the tank-"

"Lawnmower!" Ruhlman's voice rang out from inside the tank.

"Right. Driving the Lawnmower, because apparently I was the only one who figured that now that we qualified, we were going to take it easy."

"But what about the match against Anastasiania?" Arrali said, walking around the tank and getting an up close look at it.

"I dunno. We'll probably have the chef at the hotel laxative up their food and put the refs on the payroll. I mean, we don't need to break out the good stuff for Anastasiania, do we."

"Meh, I guess you're right." Arrali said, playing with one of the tank treads. "Can I drive the tank?"

"... fine, get in." Hill said, climbing out of the hatch. "Now everyone go home. We'll practice on Friday." Arrali climbed into the tank as Hill stared at her team before climbing in herself. After a short argument, Ruhlman climbed out and closed the hatch behind him before the tank started again, turned around, and drove off back across the field.

The team stood in stunned silence. "What the hell did we just see?" Nina said, her mouth hanging open.

Ruhlman sighed. "God, I have no idea anymore." he muttered, dragging himself back to the locker room.

Darcosi looked around and shrugged. "Well, you heard the woman, people. Let's go get tanked."

Reimar let out a loud whoo that echoed across the empty stadium before walking back to the locker room.

Nina blinked, watching her teammates leave the field. "What the hell is going on?"

OOC - source attribution for those who care about these things: the following RP is heavily based on John 11:41-45

THE MONASTIC TIMES

ARCHREGIMANCY IN LAZARUS METAPHOR
Team Rises From Dead to First in Four Matches

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

Now a certain international football team was sick: the Archregimancy of the Dreamed Realm, the nation of monks and Orthodoxy.

It was the monks who had made it through the first half of qualifying undefeated, but they were sore afraid, for still they languished in fourth place.

Therefore the players went to the coach, Fr. Polycarp the Venerable saying, 'coach, behold, the team whom thou lovest is sick'.

When the coach heard this, he said, 'This sickness is not unto death for our qualifying hopes, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified by our future success'.

Now the coach loved his squad, and his assistants, and yea, even the backroom staff.

When he had heard therefore that the squad's qualifying hopes suffered, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.

Then after that saith he to his squad, 'Let us play Iansisle, Rorysville, Wentland and Funnia Lan again'.

His squad said unto him, 'master, these squads of late sought to defeat thee; and playest thou against them again?'

The coach answered, 'Are there not twelve hours in the day? If any man plays football in the day, he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light of this world.'

'But if a man playes football in the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light to see - unless there are floodlights, of course. '

These things said he: and after that he saith unto them, 'Our squad merely sleeps; but we shall now face our opponents, that you may awake out of your sleep'.

Then said his disciples, coach, 'if we have been sleeping, we shall henceforth awaken'.

Then said the coach unto them plainly, 'many believe our qualifying campaign is dead'.

'And I am glad for your sakes that I was sometimes not available at post-match practice sessions after those frustrating draws; nevertheless let us go and face our opponents'.

Then said one of the anonymous squad members unto his fellow squad members, 'Let us also go, that we also play against the heathens'.

And behold, after three victories in a row had lifted them unto second spot, their next opponent was Funnia Lan, away.

When the squad arrived in Funnia Lan, they found that Spaam had already defeated Sqournshelous five-four, increasing their hopes of leaping into first.

Now Funnia Lan is nowhere near Jerusalem, more's the pity.

But many of the local faithful went to cheer on the Orthodox footballers, to comfort them concerning their chances, and the coach gave a rousing pre-match speech to his lads.

Then said the squad unto the coach, 'coach, if thou hadst spoken thus to us before, our qualifying chances would never have been in danger'.

''But we know, that even now, whatsoever God wishes of us on the field of play, we shall do our utmost to fulfill'

The coach saith unto them, 'Our team shall rise again'.

The squad saith unto him, 'we know that we shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day'.

The coach said unto them, 'Even though our Saviour said "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die" you're all being a little too literal about this. I merely mean that after Spaam's victory our squad shall rise to first place if we can beat this hapless bunch of no-hopers today.'

The squad saith unto him, 'Whoops - sorry about the misunderstanding coach! While we affirm our belief in Christ, the Son of God, who came into the world, we also firmly believe we can crush Funnia Lan'.

And when they had so said, they went out onto the pitch, and called together the squad, and proclaimed that they would take Funnia Lan apart.

Yet at half time the score was still 0-0.

Now the coach was not yet on the sideline, but was in the dressing room where the squad had met him, praying for victory.

Some of the squad went back into the dressing room, and the physio comforted them; the rest of the squad followed, saying, 'our chances of moving into first are falling into the grave'.

Then when the squad had gathered where the coach was, and saw him, theyfell down at his feet, saying unto him, 'coach, if thou hadst been here, we would be winning by now'.

When the coach therefore saw the state they were in, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,

And said, 'Why are you not winning?' They said unto him, 'Coach, come and see'.

Father Poycarp the Venerable wept.

Then said the backroom staff, 'Behold how he loves them!'

And some of them said, 'Could not this man, who was the first ever captain of our national side, have caused that we should be beating Funnia Lan by now?'

The coach therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the dugout. It was on the sidelines, and a cover lay over it.

The coach said, 'run away from the sidelines, and beat these heathens'. The squad saith unto him, 'coach, this lot stinketh: they are so dead to skill we can put four past them'.

The coach saith unto them, 'Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God reflected in the final score?'

Then they ran away from the dugout tothe place where the match was played. And the coach lifted up his eyes, and said, 'Lord, I thank thee that they have finally heard me.'

'And I knew that they hearest me always: but because they are weak and imperfect sinners, they sometimes have problems putting my instructions into practice'.

And when he thus had prayed, he cried with a loud voice, 'Goals, come forth!'

And thus did the goals pour forth, four of them, each more magnificent than the last.

And the final score was 4-0

Thus did many of the travelling supporters, who had seen the things which the coach did, believe that he would take the squad to the World Cup proper.

"Excellent, that is a tie, now they are 4 points out of qualification with 5 games left. My plan is working perfectly!." Hector Dixon, The Minister For Sport in Qukamybush said.

"Sir, if you don't mind me asking, why don't you want the team to qualify.?" his secretary asked.

"Well it's a long privileged story, I don't trust you, but I'm going to tell you anyways. It starts about 25 years ago at the ripe age of 15. I'm only 40 you know. Well, i was trying out for the Quakmybush Under 21 squad, and it was me and Greg Hughes vying for the last spot. Needless to say, he beat me, and to this day I still have a grudge, he got all the chicks, all the money, all the perks and I'm stuck working for this god damn government. So, to get revenge I paid off one of the teams reserves to play like shit, and hope that the team doesn't qualify so maybe Hughes might get fired. Or maybe worse, some kinda crazed lunatic fan tires to kill him or maybe even kills him. Understand why now?" Dixon said.

"I guess." his secretary replied, kinda scared.

"If they lose this match tonight I may have succeeded, if not, I still have some work to do. Hopefully the nutty Penguins win the game, that would start to put nails in the coffin. Then, then I will have my revenge.... muahahahamuahahahahaMUAHAHAHHA!
ummm... sorry about that. Could you bring me a Red Bull please?" he asked.

"OK sir." she replied.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------

*brinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng, brinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng*

"Hello" Greg Hughes said.

"Hello Greg, it's Carlos." Carlos said.

"Hey, hows the training coming?" Greg asked.

"Quite well, that anger issue I had told you about is getting much better, also it is clear that his soccer skills are coming back, we gave him a ball today and he was playing quite well." Carlos replied.

"Well that's good, is their any other reasons why you called?" Greg asked.

"Yes, he wants to change his name." Carlos replied.

"That's odd, to what?" Greg said.

"He wants to be called Cervantes." Carlos said.

"Heh, reminds me of a video game character, but whatever, Cervantes it is." Greg said.

"Alright, I will inform him, I am sure this will help him in his recovery." Carlos said.

"Well, I have to go, I will talk to you later." Greg said.

"Bye". Carlos replied.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Naked Topian's Left Limp



Despite the importance of the match in the Group 13 table, most Turorians opted to stay home in Atlantian Oceania and watch the game from the comfort of their own homes. The reason for this was very simple. Charles Neumann of the Ropa-Topian Sports Alliance Sports Gazette had encouraged all Ropa-Topians to show up for the match without attire. That's right, thousands of Ropa-Topians rubbing freely as they pushed through the turnstiles to see their national team. Not really up the ally of most Turorians, and the few that did decide to make the trip came prepared, looking more like they were off to an expedition to the arctic than to a sporting match.

It may have been a nuisance to the Turorian Supporters, but it was Charles Neumann himself who put it best in recognizing the minimal effect such odd tactics would have on the Cocoabos. Not even the fact that the team decided to dress in half garb, sweat dripping directly from their pores, all of their pores, could distract Vumaou's flock. It was a clinical performance which very much mimiced the first meeting between the two teams which ended with an identical 4-1 scoreline in favor of the Eels. All is not lost for Ropa-Topia, however, as they had a 4-1 record against their remaining opposition in the first half of the competition. The current standings see the Eels now 7 points clear of Ropa-Topia, with 15 points left to earn. Turori need just 8 points from their remaining 5 matches, or, two wins and two draws, or three wins, to clinch Qualification to the World Cup proper for the first time since World Cup 28. However, Realistically, Ropa-Topia will finish the campaign off with 12 additional points, four wins against weak opposition and a loss to favored Spruitland. This would leave Ropa-Topia on 36 points, meaning Two wins from the final five matches would suffice for the Eels. Let us now take a look at the remaining schedule for Vumaou's flock.

On Matchday 14 Turori will travel to Lovisa. Once a formidible force in the world of nationstates sporting, Lovisa is not even worthy of being considered a shadow of its former selves, and should put up little resistance to the flock despite being at home. The Eels will dominate the play and look to regain their former defensive form while still piling the goals on their less experienced opposition.
Verdict: 3 Points

On Matchday 15 Vumaou's flock will return home to entertain the Vikings of Fmjphoenix. The flock shocked the group with their easy disposal of the top seed on their own turf in the first leg. The 4-1 result is unlikely to be duplicated, however, and Turori will be looking for the home crowd to invigorate them at the Almintora National Stadium. Either way, no result is assured, and with Turori's recent defensive woes, it would be hard to see the Eels leaving this one with all three points, and it will likely mean the end of Turori's unbeaten run.
Verdict: 0 Points

Some people may consider it the big match, but if both teams were smart, the Matchday 16 dual would end in a 0-0 draw with both teams playing cards in the middle of the field for 90 minutes. There are no bonus points for finishing top of the group, the main goal is qualification. That being said, the Cocoabo's could care less about finishing top of the group anyway, all they care about is playing footy. If they show up, then it could be a memorable day for the flock. Oliverry is a good squad though, as the previous encounter showed as they were able to exploit the Turorian backline just as much as Turori was able to do to them. Expect them to do the same on Matchday 16.
Verdict: 1 Point

Considering the points as they stand and as predicted, the Eels would then be sitting on 35 points come Matchday 17. Meanwhile, if they were able to pull off the upset shocker over Spruitland, Ropa-Topia would be sitting on 30 and Spruitland on 29, meaning a single point from the final two matches would clinch it for the Eels. Luckily, the final two matches are against Spaamanian Plijous and Marion Oaks 2, and both are at home. Despite their startling Cup of Harmony for World Cup 30 run, the Plijous have been more than useless for much of qualifying and are not going to pose the Eels any problems on their own turf. Marion Oaks 2 was clearly a different story in the first half, however, as Vumaou's Flock could only manage a draw against the Floridian wannabes. Thankfully, 9 matchdays advanced on Matchday 18, the Eels will be at the top of their game, while the Gators will just be looking for a quick trip back home.
Verdict: 6 Point

Perhaps with these sensical scenarios under consideration, coach Vumaou can breathe a sigh of relief, and spend the final 5 matchdays focusing on solving his defensive worries before the World Cup proper.




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 4
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/ropa-topia.gif Ropa-Topia 1




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)
[8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407)
[9] :: Flock in Florida Falter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11869660&postcount=444)
[10] :: Flock Back on Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875294&postcount=485)
[11] :: Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879759&postcount=513)
[12] :: Defense Collapses as Eels Fall to Second (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11882406&postcount=542)
[13] :: Naked Topian's Left Limp (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11882406&postcount=542)

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http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/The_Mushroom_Kingship.png Mushy Mania


*** You are now logged in ***
Mushy_Mania:Hi
Mushy_Mania: Ha TMK Totally Owned
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Mushy_Mania: :P
Putple_Dot: Just cause our star Forward go injured,dosen't mean we could'nt of won that game
Mushy Mania:Well I've got to scorinate the games

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Matchday 14 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11889350&postcount=15)

Az-cz Scroll
Pablicosta
Il-Lur

Legendary coach once again pays off in tougher than expected match

The Gnomes continued their drive towards qualfication with a 3-1 win over Pablicosta, but the scoreline fails to indicate the struggles the Gnomes once again had with Pablicosta. Playing in a rather unorthodoxly designed stadium the Pablicostan fans, despite a small number had a huge impact for their team early.

The Gnomes struggled to find an early rhythm. They couldn't string things together and were generally sloppy with their passes and turning the ball over a lot. And the Pablicostans were able to take advanatage, shutting down the Gnomes attack and amazingly finding a goal of their own on a beautifully taken freekick in the 33rd minute to power the homet team into a 1-0 halftime lead.

This is when coach Khim proved why he was so sought after. Most coaches wouldn't be so bold as to remove by far their best player from the game. The one truly exceptional talent. But coach Khim saw a problem and acted. So the team took Pizelkaxrovsky out of the game and brought on Bub-Rub in his place switching into a 4-4-2 with a square midfield and two attackers. And this truly enlivened the team.

With Pizelkaxrovsky off the pitch all the players stepped up and took more responsibilty for the team, especially the defensive midfielders. All three goals in the half were created by the defensive midfield. The first was set up in the 51st minute on a beautiful feed from Hubertino to his brother Stanleyinho to equalize the score.

The second goal was then all done from the back of the midfield with Hubertino drifting forward to corrale a pass from Zax-Im and blast it past the Pablicostan goal keeper in the 77th minute.

With the Gnomes finally having taken the lead it took them less than 3 minutes to establish a two goal cushion with Hubertino recieving a nice pass from Nerazzurri in the back and then quickly advancing it to Levesque who blasted in the third.

At that point the Gnomes dropped into a 5-4-1 with Kz-Kz coming on for Stanleyinho and Lo-Ro for Levesque. They then held control of the ball for most of the last 10 minutes to hold on for the victory.

The Gnomes now come back home to open up the Goliseum to international play. Sel Appa comes to town, another match where the Gnomes are expecting to come away with all three points. Green Wombats dropped their match against Rejistania to open the Gnomes cushion up to five points. However they face lowly Algal States so should earn all three points from their match. Tynelia earned a hard fought draw against Schiavonia to remain within 6 points of the Gnomes. They travel to Nebuleux where although they are favored, there is a chance that they could drop points.

Stats

Score Az-cz 3 Pablicosta 1
Az-cz scorers 51 Stanleyinho 77 Hubertino 80 Levesque
Possession Az-cz 53% Pablicosta 47%
Shots Az-cz 13 Pablicosta 9
Corners Az-cz 1 Pablicosta 2

Etoka Journal-Tribune
“Now with larger print for those hung-over mornings”

Truffle fanciers help Raptors overcome Mushroom Kingship 2-1

MUSHROOM KINGSHIP – For the second straight game Aurendia played the reserves, keeping those players penalized in the brawl against New Montreal States on the bench. After 80 minutes, it looked like the reserves were going to need some assistance if the Raptors were to do better than a 1-1 draw. Assistance did come, but from a most unexpected source: pigs.

Aurendia opened up the scoring in the 23rd minute as Ann Ellida pounced on a rebound of a Kasia Nue shot, beating Mushroom goalie Stan Jumper. Just before the half, TMK evened up the score when Timmy Green intercepted a clearing pass headed for Kate Podolski and beat an out-of-position Julia Kennedy.

The second half saw improved defensive play from each side, and what few shots on goal were attempted resulted in easy saves for the keepers. As the teams settled in to playing for the draw during the final ten minutes, a group of pigs ran out onto the pitch. Unbeknownst to either squad, the International Truffle Society had selected The Mushroom Kingship as the location for their annual meeting. Several pigs, trained in the fine art of truffle-finding, had broken away from the meeting and made their way to the stadium. Mistaking the Toad players on TMK’s squad for the delicious dessert treat, the pigs ran wildly onto the pitch. With the Toads running for their lives from crazed pigs, the Mushroom Kingship found themselves down by three players, with time remaining in the match. The Raptors promptly took advantage, keeping up the pressure, until the 87th when Kasia Nue converted a pass from Regina Dunlop into the game winner.

Scoring:
1. A (A. Ellida 1) 23rd (Assist: K. Nue)
2. TMK (T. Green) 44th
3. A (K. Nue 2) 87th (Assist: R. Dunlop)

QAZOXIAN TIMES

HISTORY REPEATED!!!


Earlier in qualification, Qazox hosted the #1 team in the world, Starblaydia and with the help of head Coach, Reggie Hassok, upset the best team 2-1 on 2 last minute goals. Today the rematch in Starblaydia, and somehow, someway, Qazox did it again, this time shuting out Mighty Starblaydia 2-0, sending a stong message to the rest of the world that this time Qazox will not fail in their attempt to qualify for the World Cup.

The match began with both sides holding a moment of silence for Trent Rauda, who was laid to rest earlier in the day. Starblaydia took the opening possession and for the next 25 minutes controlled the match. Reggie Hassok, who stated earlier in qualification, that he would insert himself into the line-up for this game, seemed ageless as his 38-yr old instincts were proven correct shot after shot. After the opening barrage, Reggie had 9 saves and Starblaydia seemed frustrated that they couldn't put a single ball into the net.

Qazox' offense finally began to recover from the early onslaught and in the 39th minute, the hero from the 1st match between these two teams, Rene LaTreque lifted a cross from Nelson Macgillivray, giving the Black Oxen a 1-0 lead. Neither side could maintain pressure over the final minutes of the half and Qazox went into the locker room up 1-0.

The second half seemed like Deja-Vu all over again as Starblaydia came out attacking at every oppertunity, looking for an equalizer. But somehow Reggie Hassok continued to stop any and all shots taken at him. With 15 minutes left, the Staryblaydian attack finally began to falter, and the Black Oxen took quick advantage, as Aki Fa'Mau-Tana took an errant pass from Rajko Dakic, and launched a blistering shot at Paola Mendez who deflected the ball, but not enough as it clanged off the far post and into the back of the net, giving Qazox a 2-0 lead in the 75th minute. That last goal sapped Starblaydia, who could only muster one last chance for a goal, but Lawrence Asante's shot sailed just right of the near post in injury time, and Qazox walked out of Starbalydia with a victory that will be talked about for ages.

With the final away game done and finishing with a very impressive 6-2-1 road record, Qazox finally returns home for the final 4 games of qualification. the 1st of these four games is agaisnt ASMV, whom Qazox beat 5-1 in ASMV. The Sea Dragons have underperformed in this Cup, but still are one of the better teams out there. A close match, but the streaking Black Oxen will win 3-2. Qazox only needs 6 points over the final 4 games to clinch a spot in the World Cup, but the team has been in this position before, hopefully history will not repeat itself this time.

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Basil and Theo


"Basil!"

"Theo!"

"I've heard it said, Basil, that sometimes the only consistent thing...."

"... is inconsistency, right Theo?"

"What? We're finishing each other's sentences now?"

"Why, where you going to say something else?"

"No."

"Then why are you complaining?"

"Oh never mind. On to the football, Basil...."

"Where the only thing consistent about the Holy Empire's play has been inconsistency, right?"

"That's right, Basil. After 5-1 and 5-0 drubbings at the hands of Liverpool England and Bettia - results so sordidly poor that no one in the Holy Empire thought it worth reporting much in the way of detail - we travel to Lisburn Mateys and promptly thrash the higher-ranked home team 4-1. And remember, Basil, this is the squad that can score three injury time goals to snatch a draw against Liverpool England one week, and then a few matches later get spanked 4-0 by Delesa."

"Oooooh, spanking. I like spanking."

"Yes, well, that's beside the point, Basil."

"Why, Theo?"

"Because this is a football show, not a public discussion of your increasingly bizarre sexual perversions."

"And since when have you been privy to my sexual preferences, Theo?"

"Ever since I discovered a copy of 'Mistress Spankly's Bondage Newsletter' in your desk drawer."

"And what, Theo, were you doing looking in my desk drawer?"

"Making sure you were taking your medication. Look, can't we go back to talking about football? About last night's exciting 4-1 away victory over Lisburn Mateys? About how the lads took the opposition completely apart?"

"No."

"Why not, Basil?"

"Because I don't want to. I'm sulking."

"BASIL!"

"And I'd ask you not to shout at me. It's rude."

"But Basil.... this is a FOOTBALL show."

"Not tonight, it isn't. Tonight it's Basil's Mr. Sulky Show. I'm Mr. Sulky, and I'm going to be the sulkiest Mr. Sulky that's ever sulked. Whether you, our producers, or our audience likes it or not."

"But Lisburn Mateys...."

"I can't hear you..... My ears are covered DAH DE DAH DE DAH DE DAH DE DAH...."

"Oh Basil... not again.... not after World Cup 28.... And I thought you were cured.... <sobs>"

"DAH DE DAH DE DAH DE DAH DE DAH...."

<The Imperial Broadcasting Company would like to apologise for this unscheduled interruption in tonight's broadcast of The World Cup Show, caused by technical difficulties in the mental health of one of the broadcasters. We will fill the remaining 30 minutes of tonight's broadcast with images of cute fluffy kittens. Because everyone likes kittens.>

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: As Trent Rauda was laid to rest today, Sativaville welcomed Krytenia in a highly emotionally charged match, but emotion usually does not beat talent, and Krytenia proved that coming back from a 1-0 deficit very late in the match to edge the Stoners 2-1.

Back-up Keeper Trent Estorga was not availible as his wife was giving birth to thier son, Trent Rauda Estorga, so original 3rd-string keeper Teddy Aitkin was pressed into keeper duty. Despite not having played a single minute in this cup or the last one, Teddy was more than adequate in net, until the last 10 minutes.

The game began with a 5-minute Tribute to Trent Rauda, and was followed by a moment of silence. The Stoners came out fast and hard and int he 12th minute, Emil Timmermann scored to but Sativaville up 1-0. The sellout crowd of 67000 beat to cheer, possibly for the 1st time in days and the overwhelming noise seemed to rattle Krytenia.

Over the next 70 minutes, the crowd remained loud as many thought that with Trent looking down from above, Sativaville would win the biggest game in the country's history, but Krytenia had other plans ans in the 82nd minute, Qasim ISSERSON, scored off a corner kick with a jumping flip kick to tie the match at 1-1. The noisy crowd was quieted a bit, and Krytenia took quick advantage, as Josh QUINNELL stole the ball from Timmermann and took it though the defense and scored just 25 seconds after Isserson did. Within a span of 30 seconds, the crowd went from jubilation to stone silence as what seemed to be a shocking win turned into an even more shocking loss.

The next game for the Stoners will be at Cataduanes who are just 1 point behind Sativaville in the standings. Both sides need a victory to keep pace with Demot, who are currently in third. The emontional rollercoaster Sativaville has been on the last week will catch up with them and Cataduanes will pull out a win.

DOWNLOADING DAY FOURTEEN SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY FOURTEEN SCORE- REJISTANIA 2- GREEN WOMBAT 0

GOALS: RJS- Syku Lyku #7- 15TH AND 48TH MINUTES


Once again due to Rejistanian Copyright Laws, the Game Summary for this match is unavailble at this time.

The Next match scheduled for the FZW is against Pablicosta, who were cruched 6-0 last meeting. Should be roughly the same this time around as well.

The FZW are currently in 4th place 5 points behind Az-Cz for the last spot. However the schedule favors Green wombat as Az-Cz still will play Rejistania and Schiavonia, while the FZW play against eliminated teams.

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k163/canuck3360/SportsnetRVWCXXXI.png

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Rorysville.png v http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/spaam.png
MOOSE WIN 3-2

In what can be considered Rorysville's Biggest win in International Play the Moose Upset 28th Ranked Spaam 3-2 the match will go down as one of the greatest Internatioanl sporting events in RV history only superseeded by Rugby World Cup VI Finals if they go on to qualify this could even surpass that event. On to the match Spaam would jump out early and shock the home crowd silencing 95,000 fans inside of Celtic Field the other 8,000 fans being spaamainian.The quick goal at the 16th minute was only the start of things to come. Rorysville would quickly answer back at the 24th minute with a beatiful goal by Negueannne with the score notted at 1 all Spaam would again take the lead on a header at the 42nd minute Spaam would take that lead into halftime. Rorysville would pressure Spaam to start the second half but had no answers the fans nervous that a loss could very well end thier hopes at the First ever qualification for Rorysville.the Fans would get a chance to erupt and send Celtic Field into a boistrous and frenzied crowd as Paul Guard stripped the ball off a Spaamanian defender and bent a shot past an outstreched keeper at the 73rd minute tieing the game at 2 all.Things would accelerate rapidly from here as Jaun Pérez found a wide open Guard who in turn found a crossing Negueanne who found the back of the net with a shot that will go down in Rorysville history--the calll as heard on RVSR 1130AM "Perez with the ball moving up field....he finds Guard,Gurads all alone reciceves the pass and he's moving into spaamanian territory Negueanne is crossing Guard to Negueanne He BEnds it GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLL HOLY COW WHAT AN AMZING GOAL WHAT AN AMAZING SCENE HERE IN CELTIC FIELD RORYSVILLE HAS TAKEN A THREE TWO LEAD WITH JUST A COUPLE MINUTES LEFT"-- and off of SportsnetRV's TV Broadcast--"Well this certainly has been Perez with the steal he finds Guard who's unmarked Guard taking the ball forward.....Gurad finds Negueanne....Negueanne Shoots is it YESSSSSSS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! RORYSVILLE OH MAN WHAT A GOAL THIS PLACE HAS ERRUPTED AS RORYSVILLE HAS TAKEN THE LEAD.OH MAN WHAT A MOMENT all the way down to take the lead they're still alive in World Cup thirty one"-- With the goal Rorysville managed to hang on and win the match sending fans into the streets around Celtic Field and University Park celebrating a great win.

Rorysville Scoring Leaders
A.Negeuanne-10
P.Guard-9
J.Pérez-3
M.Millens-2
M.Schweitzer-2
A.Lenevue-1
A.Trefelov-1



Moose Schedule
MD01 v Squornshelous L 3-2
MD02 v The Archregimancy L 3-1
MD03 v Funnia Lan W 5-1
MD04 v Tocapa W 3-1
MD05 @ Spaam L 3-2
MD06 v Iansisle W 3-0
MD07 @ Wentland D 1-1
MD08 @ Tessan L 5-1
MD09 v Lord of Hosts W 2-0
MD10 @ Squornshelous L 3-0
MD11 @ The Archregimancy L 3-0
MD12 @ Funnia Lan W 3-0
MD13 @ Tocapa W 3-0
MD14 v Spaam W 3-2
MD15 @ Iansisle
MD16 v Wentland
MD17 v Tessan
MD18 @ Lord of Hosts

"Welcome once again to World Cup Sloths, I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone."

"Well the second half of qualifying is proving to be much more entertaining than the first, with games being much closer than in the first instances in most cases. However, after having such a brilliant first half of the qualifying campaign and having such a substantial advantage over fourth place, the Sloths see themselves as good as qualified, especially with the game with Algal States at the KFS still to come. One more win, and Schiavonia will have earned their ticket to Vilita or the Lowland Clans."

"What, one ticket for the entire squad?"

"Shut up, Fil. You and all of the viewers know what I mean. Anyway, can we start tonight by wishing Fr. Symeon all the best for the future. He has left his Anastasianian hospital after regaining his strength during his mission to get closer to God, and now he is happily back at his monastery."

"Do they watch us in the monastery, Mike?"

"How the hell should I know? I'm never there when we're on."

"Fair point. But we wish you well for the future, father."

"Indeed we do. Of course we must clear something up, when we were in Green wombat, the reporters there were keen to point out that Fr. Symeon had relentlessly kept the home attack at bay. Obviously the news hadn't reached them that Fr. Symeon had been missing for the best part of two months and had just been found. The player in question was actually Nicolai Ferreira, who had donned the Orthodox Monastic robes and wore a fake beard as a tribute to his good friend."

"Why did they think it was Fr. Symeon, though? I mean, even on teh Schiavonia roster which is handed out to all press and fans at every game, it says that he's been away from the squad since Matchday Five. If you ask me, they're stupidheads."

"Well, rather harsh words there, Fil."

"They needed to be said."

"Indeed. Well we came out with a late winner thanks to Jermaine Edwards breaking out with the ball with the home team committed forward."

"A very good run and finish from Jermaine, it had been a tense game, two-all up until that point, and with chances at either end, it was a game that could have gone either way."

"Fortunately, the Schiavone team are good at playing until the very end, and this showed against Dance 2 Revolution, where we found ourselves in the same situation again, two-all in the closing stages, Edwards running away with the ball and scoring."

"The only difference was that it was Colin Chester who scored the two and not Seamus Bradley this time."

"And we were at home this time, too. Last matchday, we were away in Tynelia, from where we could only get a one-all draw."

"But to be fair, we were missing a couple of regular starters."

"Only one or two. Di Chula came in for Bradley and Graeme Cotton came in for Eric Berry, making Ed Fielding captain for the day. Those players proved they were good enough on the day, although the performance on the whole was pretty slack, and it was only Shiela Blige, who came on as a late substitute, who manage to save a quite undeserved point for the Sloths."

"Indeed, but talking to Rodney Lowe, he doesn't seem too worried by his team's lack of form going into the tournament."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

"Rodney, it wasn't the greatest performance we've ever seen today. Are you worried by our current lack of form?"

"Not in the slightest, Fil. We've seen many times what happens to teams who go into the World Cup with overly good records. You see teams going through qualifying with 100% records, then they hit the finals and BANG! They're out almost before the plane's touched down."

"So you mean that the team are deliberately not playing up to standard?"

"You could say that."

"That seems to be a rather odd thing to do, doesn't it?"

"Not really. We're were already as good as through after the first half of qualifying, and I felt we only needed four wins to secure our place in the finals then. Sure enough, we've won three out of the last five, and we'll be looking to give Algal States a good pummelling at the KFS."

"You seem confident of a result against them."

"Wouldn't you be? Any half-decent team should be. No offence intended, but they really suck."

"Then there's games with Sel Appa, Az-cz and Nebuleux to come. How do you see those going?"

"Well, if we somehow manage to mess up against Algal States, it will be the perfect motivation to win the final three games. We'd have to win one of them to qualify, and we'd have a huge enough blot on our record to go into the finals without being over-confident."

"As for today's opponents, what do you make of Tynelia's chances of making it through?"

"Well, they've had a few bad results lately, but if they perform like they did today, then they'll have every chance of advancing. The big games for them are going to be against Green wombat and Rejistania. Plus they have to rely on Az-cz slipping up, and can you see that happening right now?"

"Possibly not. Rodney Lowe, thank you."

"No problem."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

"Well, Rodney Lowe seems content with just getting through qualifying unscathed. Does the battle for regional supremecy not interest him at all?"

"Apparently not. He just wants to get through, then ease off the gas."

"But won't that affect our form going into the cup?"

"Well, he says that, no, even if we do stutter towards the end of qualifying, he'll organise a series of friendlies as warm up games. Indeed, one has already been sorted, a game against JGN's Socialist Romanistan at Amsham Park."

"And how are our fellow Schiavones coming along?"

"Well, they were finally eliminated last matchday, as Bettia came to Amsham Park... sorry, the Jeruselem Government News Stadium and rolled them over three-nil. Still, a valiant performance, and twelve points from fourteen matches really is quite an achievement for a bunch of schoolkids."

"It certainly is. Some possible Sloths stars of the future, there. But that's all from our little update show. From us until next time, goodnight."

Ricky: Hello everyone, I'm Ricky Pointy Stick.
Dazza: And I'm Dazza Dallas and this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE if you haven't worked it out by now. We have special guest today. Jeruselem team sponsor, CEO of JTek - Mr Phil Nates.

Phil: Nice to been on this fabulous TV show and with a lady like Dazza as well a gentlemen like Ricky.
Dazza: I'm not a lady. (giggles)

Phil: Yes you are, compared to some ladies I know. At least you don't pretend to be one.
Ricky: No, she's a Chicky. Better than a lady I say.

Dazza: JTek is a sponsor of the Jeruselem soccer teams like JGN is. They also do our IT stuff and do a great job with the professionals they use. Dazza also gets cheap stuff from them.
Phil: Dazza is good customer indeed. We'd go broke without customers like Dazza.

Dazza: Let get this soccer stuff out of the way first. Tryanny smashed by new group leader Ariddia SIX NIL but Ariddia are good and are 10th seed.
Ricky: Tryanny had no hope really, but they still cling to 8th while Ariddia hang on to 1st.

Dazza: And my team - we faced fellow Jewbees, The Macabees. Naturally the real Holy Landers won the game, that's us. THREE NIL to Jeruselem and we stay 2nd one point behind Ariddia. In fact we move 5 points ahead of 3rd place - 5 points or one point less than 2 wins. That's a big gap now.
Ricky: I think Jeruselem and Ariddia are going to make it.

Dazza: Well, Chicanada punched Kericia out of 3rd spot with a commanding THREE ONE win over Geisenfried. Both teams needed a win and it was the experienced Chicanada team who prevailed when the competition got hot. Chicanada claim 3th spot displacing Kericia and Geisenfried sink back to 6th.
Ricky: That third spot in our group is like a merry-go-round, but the top 2 are looking more dangerous every game. Geisenfried were once in the top 2 but now with Jeruselem and Ariddia pulling away again - they choke. Chicanada are making their move and maybe might hang on to 3rd. Five point gap to Jeruselem and Chicanada are shading 5th and 6th by one point.

Dazza: You know that team called Cyredel? The one with no wins - they beat Kericia! Yes, I'm not making it up. Cyredel were expected to lose but they did something which pleased the top 2.
Ricky: Shock of the round and well, Kericia sink to 5th from 3rd. Cyredel are still last. The other teams must be happy when Cyredel won. TWO ONE to the underdogs.

Dazza: Magnus Valerius have been falling back but they got 3 points against lowly Montegrande. A handy THREE NIL win and they move to 4th. Much needed win indeed.
Ricky: Well, the table is getting clearer. Jeruselem and Ariddia are pulling ahead of 4 teams again. That gap has always been there despite Jeruselem and Ariddia dropping games lately. 5 points between 2nd and 3rd. 3rd to 6th - one point difference. Kericia and Geisenfried's great goal difference might decide the final matter on the last day as Chicanada and Magnus Valerius try to get upper hand. Four games left the Jeruselem put the nail in the Macabees coffin - as the Macabees need the 3rd to 6th teams to lose all their games which is not going to happen.

Dazza: Nedalia won again but now it's up to Nedalia to keep on winning and hope the others trip over. TWO ONE over Brownwick and let's hope Nedalia get 12 more points. One more loss and it's curtains.
Ricky: Socialist Romanistan played Bettia again and lost again. Bettia win THREE NIL. OK, Dazza who's going to join Jeruselem and Arridia - make a pick!

Dazza: Geisenfried for me, what about you Ricky? Some big wins over smaller teams and they might squeak in.
Ricky: Kericia is my pick, on goal difference. They score goals and can defend better.
Phil: Chicanada, because I'm Chicanadan by birth.

Ricky: It's YAP YAP time - Phil, what's your new scheme to make even more money for JGN and J-Tek?
Phil: Scheme? It's all legal, Ricky. It might not attract as much attention as Dazza's naughty yourtube videos but it will work.

Dazza: And no, it does not involve me - for the moment.
Phil: Well Dazza, you're welcome join in. The techs at JGN think you're the super Geek Girl. Our email system is full of emails about you, in a nice way - and a few attached videos. Our new scheme is simple! If you get JGN cable subscription now during the World Cup 31, you get a discount a new PC or laptop at J-Tek. 10% off - and this applies to any system even top end uber gaming box with that water cooling system. Yes, it's that simple.

Dazza: Sounds like good deal from JGN and J-Tek! Any catches.
Phil: Applies only Jeruselem citizens and the discount applies only to one PC or laptop system, and one discount per person too. JGN and J-Tek staff do not get this either as both organisations have special staff schemes instead which are more generous. Oh yes, corporate customers cannot apply either as they already get bulk discounts from us - this one is for the families at home watching now.

Dazza: Well, Jeruselem people get your JGN cable and buy that new PC or laptop from JGN. Offer ends at the end of this World Cup 31.
Phil: Do it now. Don't miss out people. You could save thousands. Built that dream 5000 shekel PC and save 500, come on and do it.

Dazza: That's it from THE FOOTBALL LIFE or Dazza sells computers.
Ricky: As my co-host says, sweet dreams.

Group 2:
Nedalia [2] Brownwick [1]

Group 7:
Ariddia [6] Tryanny [0]
Geisenfried [1] Chicanada [3]
Kericia [1] Cyredel [2]
The Macabees [0] Jeruselem [3]
Magnus Valerius [3] Montegrande [0]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Ariddia 14 10 2 2 42-16 +26 32
[2] Jeruselem 14 9 4 1 34-14 +20 31
[3] Chicanada 14 8 2 4 26-18 +8 26
4- Magnus Valerius 14 8 2 4 24-20 +4 26
5- Kericia 14 7 4 3 40-22 +18 25
6- Geisenfried 14 8 1 5 40-24 +16 25
7- The Macabees 14 5 0 9 18-37 -19 15
8- Tryanny 14 2 2 10 9-38 -29 8
9- Montegrande 14 1 4 9 11-29 -18 7
10- Cyredel 14 1 1 12 12-38 -26 4


Group 8:
Socialist Romanistan [0] Bettia [3]

Jo-El: Hats off to the team for another win. Pablicosta made us work for it again today, but the team rallied and pulled out the win. Here with us today are coach Hawdon, Zax-Im and Hubertino.

Hawdon: Well it wasn't as easy as we like, but we came home with the full three points. That's what matters. At this point its about results. If we just keep chugging everything will be ok.

Az-cz reporter 1: Why did you take out Pizelkaxrovsky today?

Hawdon: The teeam was using him as a crutch. They were expecting him to do the work and make the setups. He's a brilliant player but we need other players generating goals.

Az-cz reporter 2: Will this be a pattern then, taking Pizelkaxrovsky out?

Hawdon: No. He's too good not to have in the game. Hopefully it was just a one time thing we used to motivate the players.

Az-cz reporter 3: How did you guys step your game up out there today?

Hubertino: We knew we had to play harder. It was just a question of effort and desire. We knew if we let the points slip away against Pablicosta today we couldn't look ourselves in the mirror. So we took control of the game.

Frank Dee: How are you feeling and how are you keeping the team's energy up?

Hawdon: I'm personally fine. As for keeping the team in good condition, there's not much to say. At this point is more a question of mental rather than physical fatigue.

Az-cz reporter 4: Is the excitement of the nation something you guys can feel and if so how does it affect you?

Zax-Im: We can definitely feel it. This is a sports mad country, and this is the most prestigious sporting event in the world. Although soccer isn't the most popular sport in the country, it is still quite popular, and the country is very proud of our positive results. We can feel some pressure, but knowing that they support us and believe in us also gives us a great feeling. Much better to be passionate and involved than aloof like fans from some other countries.

Az-cz reporter 5: With the next game in the Goliseum is there any plan to play either of the Golems strikers?

Hawdon: Nope. They might see action but they won't start and it will be a decision of what we need. We'll see.

Az-cz reporter 6: How important would you describe home field for you?

Zax-Im: It's clearly a big advantage to play at home. Having the next three games at home will be very useful as we make our final push. Hopefully the fans we'll help propel us forwards.

Jo-El: We now come to the voice of the fan. Today's question comes from Gm-Bob of Mil-Bax. He writes, "What's your favorite stadium in Az-cz?"

Hawdon: I love Castle Burlock. It's a beautiful setting but the castle style architecture is at once magnificent and imposing.

Zax-Im: Other than Knights Coliseum, which is special to me because it's home, I've always enjoyed playing in the Temple of Yak.

Hubertino: Those are both very interesting stadiums, but for me I feel the most pride of being an Az-czzer when I step on the pitch at Slimes Stadium in the capital city.

Jo-El: So there you go everyone.

World Cup Chat Presented by OSPN

With Dan and Adam

"Im Dan Reynolds"
"And Im Adam Plumbtree"
"No special guests today although we might have Milo the Cat on before the end of the week"
"Right"
"Ok then lets see some scores"

Vuam and Isma [2] The Islands of Qutar [4]

"No suprise there eh Plummy?"
"Absolutely not Qutar have had a cakewalk all qualifying, with the exception of Casari"

Harlesburg [1] Northern Caesarea [2]

"Well that all but seals us out there now we are 9 points out"
"Yeah Dan Caesarea seems all but out of reach, they would need to loose 3 straight"
"And we would need to get luck"
"Right"

Anastasiania [1] Casari [2]

"Well that helped a bit, we're only one back of Anastasianiaiaiaiaia"
"Are you going to keep doing that?"
"What?"
"Oh you know?"
"What?"
"Shuttup"
"What?"
"NEXT"
"Right

System Karela [0] Okielahoma [1]

"Hey its a win for the Sooners"
"Yes lets see the goal here"
"Beautiful"
"Great strike by Harris, the Karelan goalkeeper missed it by a mile"
"Wow that was our only shot all match"
"Pathetic"

Ancient Byzantine [1] The Mice of Miceland [3]

"All together on three then?"
"Sure"
"1"
"2"
"3"
"ANCIENT BYZANTINE SUCKS!"

"We'll chat later y'all"


Goal Scorers:

Harris 11
Wilson 6
Bateman 3
Lloyd 1
Boatwright 1
Severson 1
Morris 1

---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 14 13 1 0 40-13 +27 40
[2] The Islands of Qutar 14 11 2 1 51-14 +37 35
[3] Northern Caesarea 14 10 1 3 33-15 +18 31
4- Okielahoma 14 6 4 4 26-21 +5 22
5- Anastasiania 14 6 3 5 23-21 +2 21
6- The Mice of Miceland 14 5 2 7 20-23 -3 17
7- Harlesburg 14 3 3 8 16-29 -13 12
8- System Karela 14 3 1 10 8-20 -12 10
9- Vuam and Isma 14 2 4 8 15-30 -15 10
10- Ancient Byzantine 14 0 1 13 6-52 -46 1

Nw-Cm: Man coach Khim is a freaking genius. I'm so happy the Starblaydis let him get away.

Jay-Sn: Totally. He's way better than they ever gave him credit for.

Nw-Cm: Definitely. Can you believe that if they can win in the Goliseum against Sel Appa they're one game from in?

Jay-Sn: Can you believe they're playing in the Goliseum? I figured they'd open a number of other stadiums before that.

Nw-Cm: Well it is the nice stadium of Port Mid-Mjr. You think we'll ever get a game here?

Jay-Sn: Not bloody likely. Have you been to a Vampire's game recently? The place is a dump.

Nw-Cm: Yeah you're probably right. We probably won't ever get to a game.

“Hello everyone and welcome to the returning Tynelian Soccer Weekly after our unexpected pre-emption for the always classic Sampson’s Extra Spooky Halloween show. Amazing what the same score on two different days having two completely opposite effects. After our chances were severely damaged after a poor 1-1 draw against Sel Appa what does the team do? Why they almost pull off the upset but settle for a 1-1 draw with group leading Schiavonia holding them to their fewest goals in the tournament to date. If not for a late goal by Shiela Blige then Jay Masterson’s first half goal would have stood up for a huge and much needed win against a hurting Schiavonia club. Instead the team is forced to see Az-cz move 6 points ahead with only four matches left. I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee. It doesn’t look very good right now does it?”

“No Mike it doesn’t, and it just goes to show how important each individual game is especially head to head. Had Tynelia managed to win even one of the two matches against Az-cz then we would be even on points and within a win of the Green Wombats with a match yet to play with them. Instead we find we must more or less win out while hoping someone besides Schiavonia can beat Az-cz and then hope for goal differential ending in our favor.”

“Do you think its possible? Can we come back?”

“I think its very unlikely. Dance 2 Revolution, had they been playing up to their normal levels would be a good choice as would the Wombats. That match is actually a tough one for us. We need to stay within 2 points of the Wombats and hope for a last day win on our part but any points by Az-cz hurts us here. So we’re pretty much have to root for the Wombats. We also have to beat Rejistania ourselves which is going to be a tough one any day. The biggest thing in our favor is that we still have Pablicosta to play and a chance to get a big GD advantage in that one.”

“But still with Az-cz having only one real match that are expected to win, against Sel Appa it is possible they could stumble down the stretch Dana.”

“Well Sel Appa just showed us what happens if you count too much on an ‘expected’ result Mike. Maybe they can repeat the performance against Az-cz but I wouldn’t count on it. And if you go look at scheduling the Wombats have Pablicosta next and also get Schiavonia besides their two matches with the teams they’re fighting against. One could argue that we have the easiest schedule left but we also have the most ground to make up.”


“Well what can we do to keep the pressure on the teams ahead of us?”

“Score for one thing. The traditional Tynelian midpoint offensive slump has brought only five goals in as many matches and some very costly draws. Generally from what I’ve seen a team needs to average two goals a match to really have a strong chance of qualifying and we’re a half goal below that. That has and will continue to hurt us each and every Cup until the issue is addressed by the Tynelian Soccer Federation. Offense not defense wins here.”

“That’s a pretty bold statement there Dana.”

“Check the numbers, almost all the top teams are much more offensively oriented than we are and it’s a lot easier to win averaging 3 goals a match than half that many like we are. Things need to change.”

“But Tynelia is known for its good defense and strong play in the net. Making a change like that will leave all sorts of scoring chances for the other team. Look at everytime Tynelia has tried to adjust their style in the past. I don’t think we’ve won one of those matches.”

“That’s exactly my point Mike. Throwing a style change midway through a tournament will always backfire since the team is so used to playing one way they can’t just suddenly become offensive just because they are told to. No this has to be done from the get go. Get the players thinking attack not counterattack and acting instead of reacting. Coach Billington has made some progress early on but now he seems stuck in the same rut himself.”

“So you want a new coach then?”

“No Mike, there’s no one better suited for the style of play I’m talking about unless Jay Masterson ever decides to retire. But the way things are going he’ll be dragging his 42 year old body out to try out for the WC32 squad barring a major Az-cz collapse.”

“Well then we’ll just have to live with it then won’t we. Uh-oh I just realized, we ran past the time we would usually spend with Coach Billington. It would be interesting to hear his reaction to your comments Dana, but that will have to wait until next time. So Dana prediction time. How do we do against Nebuleux?”

“They are coming off a good win against D2R last match Mike but their defense has slipped since we faced them the first time. Still the way our offense is right now I don’t see anything more than a 1-0 Tynelia win. A draw is probably more likely though. As for the rest, Az-cz should have little problem with Sel Appa despite their going 1-1-0 their last two matches. The gnomes should end that run with a tidy 2-0 win. The Wombats should pad their goal differential edge with a 4-0 shutout of Pablicosta. I’m going to make a bit of a surprise with my next pick. I think D2R gets a surprise 2-2 draw with Rejistania which has played extremely well in the second half and is due for a hiccup. Finally Schiavonia 5-0 over the overmatched Algal States.”

“OK then Dana, barring any further interruptions in our schedules the Tynelia match will Nebuleux will be covered live as always and Dana and I will be back here after with the post game show. Until then have a good night everyone.”

CATADUANES SPORTS NETWORK UPDATE

After a promising start the Islanders have faltered in recent fixtures and with four games to go they have found themselves in 6th place some 6 points behind 3rd place Demot. There collapse in form reached a nadir in the 3-0 defeat to Dorian and Sonya on MD13, going into MD14 the Islanders failed to dispatch Divensi despite leading the fixture at one point before allowing the home side to come back and gain a point.

MD15 see’s the Islanders play host to Sativaville, who are one point ahead of Cataduanes in 5th place and have not one in their last three fixtures. At this point in the qualification stage nothing less than a win will do if the national side are going to have a chance of getting into 3rd place (which looks unlikely).

Spindomia National Telegraph

Spindomia continued their great run with a 1-0 win over 20 ranked Andossa. The first half goal from Frenry sealed the win, although Andossa came strong, but just couldn't get through the defence.

Spindomia moved to 6th in the table, 6 points off qualification. If results go their way, Spindomia could be up there at the end and possibly qualify.

The next game is against Nikea, which is a must win game against a team that we should beat comfortably

Damn Spaam

Squornshelous, who had begun the second half of qualifying with a trio of wins in which they outscored their opponents 14-1, have fallen out of first place in the group for the first time since Matchday 8 when we regained the position after our first defeat at Spaam's hands. However, this time, Spaam's victory does not vault them into first, as they lie in fourth, due to an upset at the hands of Iansisle. Instead, those anonymous monks, whose commentators had some most unusual theories about the origin of the Squornshelan team's nickname, have crawled into first, one point ahead of the Pschychoes, and the iron age team from Tessan are just behind Squornshelous on goal differential.
It was a barn burner of a match with the total of 9 goals coming just one short of matching the highest scoring match in qualifying thus far (The islands of Qutar 8-2 Vuam and Isma). However, Spaam had the last laugh, netting the winner with just 2 minutes left before stoppage time.

Squornshelous took out their frustration on Iansisle, getting up early and going into halftime up 3-1, following a dominating performance by Iannis Xenakis and Igor Khabarov. While Iansisle pulled withing one coming out after the half, Oleg Petrov iced the match with a late goal, keeping the Pschychoes within one point of first place.

Despite the setback against Spaam, Squornshelous have been playing much better through these five matches. The attack has finally gotten it's act together and scored 22 goals in five matches, compared to 26 in the first 9.


Now, to adress the theories put forth by Archregimancy broadcasters concerning the Squornshelan nickname "The Pschychoes". According to their theory, Squornshelous has named their team as Fools-for-Christ, or as they may be known in modern slang "Jesus Freaks", using scripture and the strong Slavic influence on Squornshelan culture as justification. This, while an interesting theory, is not quite the case. Football was introduced to Squornshelous over one hundred years ago, and later made immensely popular by a man known simply as Grigori Yefimovich; he never revealed his last name. Legend has it he washed up on the shores of a river with grievous injuries, including four bullet wounds and severe bruising. A doctor who treated him also said he showed symptoms of cyanide poisoning.
Somehow, Grigori survived these injuries and recovered. He was taken in by the family of the doctor who treated him, who also happened to be fans of one of the first Squornshelan football clubs: FC Striterax. Grigori fell in love with the sport, and would eventually, through endless practice, become a midfielder for the Knights of Striterax. He became a beloved symbol of Squornshelan Football, despite a few eccentricities. He kept mostly to himself, studying old books and often muttered incoherently in public. He was often referred to as "The Psychotic Knight". Grigori was not particularly fond of this nickname, and one time, when asked to sign an autographs for a group of young fans, he overheard one of them saying, "That's the Psycho Knight." He flew into a rage, and scribbled "Pschycho" on every surface within reach of his pen hand; obviously his faculty for spelling left him temporarily.
Grigori went on to found the SFA and is widely acknowledged as the father of Squornshelan Football. When Squornshelous entered international competition, the team was named "The Pschychoes" in his honor and memory.

It had been an enjoyable enough romp as the Lord of Hosts team was floundering and a 3-0 scoreline flattered them.

The concern was after the match. The scores from elsewhere were announced. Rorysville had upset Spaam. There goes fifth place, let alone qualification, thought Hacker. This was not good for his job prospects. But that kept Spaam within reach - 7 points clear with 12 to play for.

Squornshelous had won, as per, and the beardies had rolled over Tessan. So were Wentland out yet? 4 wins were needed with Tessan not winning a single one and Spaam not winning two.

Hacker checked the remaining fixtures. Who had what? Rorysville were a point clear of the Swifts but a royal blue victory would see to that. Tessan had Lord of Hosts AND Funnia Lan. Bound to win one of those. Spaam had FL, Tocapa and Iansisle. Bound to win all of those. And the Swifts had the trip to Pschycoland.

Forget it, thought Hacker. Just play the reserves. Or just tell them to go out and get stuck in.

****!

Second defeat at hands of Cuation leaves first-place finish in doubt

CUATION - After another defeat at the hands of Cuation, backed by the enthusiastic roars of the home crowd, the Paladins find themselves facing the prospect of a second straight second-place qualifying finish. Defensive issues continue to swarm around the team like flies on a squirrel that strayed into the path of a freight train (an apt metaphor, considering the performance of the back two during the match) while Vyacheslav Kamchatski seems determined to prove that he's no Paul Chasson by coughing up a pathetical roller in the 4th minute to sink the Paladins into an early hole they would never manage to dig their way out of.

But more key to last night's storyline was the emergence of Cuation, heretofore a second-string power, capable of pulling the occasional upset, but never quite managing to advance to the ranks of the great and powerful. All this seems to have changed this season, as their side has closed ranks and climbed past first Tadjikistan, then us, with relentless determination. Although still prone to the odd slip-up as they ascend, they pull together well and win the ones that matter - much like this match, for instance. They will no doubt ride this wave of success deep into the Cup proper.

One can only hope the Paladins get themselves back into shape in time for their trip to either Vilita or the Lowland Clans. They seemed satisfied with mediocrity on the pitch against Cuation, not hustling, not playing with any panache or determination or grit, merely staggering through the ninety minutes without any spirit. They seem poised to sink to the level of a TnUI or an Audioslavia - hanging around near the top but never mustering enough effort to pull themselves onto the final peak of footballing success.

Be sure to check this paper tomorrow, when we reveal the shocking truth behind the Vilitan media's hatred of the Presse-Journal Devoir.

PALADINS 2 - Darcy 34, F. Labranche 76
CUATION 3

"Excellent! Another tie, this plan is working way better than I thought it would. They might not even be close to qualifying! This is excellent, I can finally get my revenge!" Hector Dixon said.

"Sir, I may have to reprt you to the authority's." his secretary said.

"Now why would you do that?" Dixon asked.

"Because what you are doing is a travesty to our nation." she said.

"Like fucking hell it is, he beat me, and I am gunna get back at him, it's just me getting vegence nothing else, who cares if millions of people in this peice of shit nation cry because we don't make it in some stupid soccer tournament. It's soccer for christ sake, it's not the end of the world." Dixon said.

"That proves it, I really hope this team qualifies, and even advances out of the group stage, and then it'll show you and then I will personally call Greg Hughes and tell him myself what you tried to do. Then I will tell your wife that you've been sleeping with me, and all the drugs and stuff that you have done, and, so much more." she said. This infuriated Dixion.

"No you won't you little bitch, you say anything, I'll blow your head off." Dixon threatened.

"It's a bit too late, your wife is on the way right now." she said smuggly.

"You are so dead, your lucky my wife is on the way, or there would be hell to pay." Dixon said.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*ring ring*

"Hello." Carlos said

"Hey Carlos,it's Greg, how is Cervates doing?" Greg Hughes asked

"Good, Good, anger issue is totally gone, he will be ready for the next World Cup Qualifiers." Carlos replied.

"We could use him now, alright, thanks, Bye." Greg said.

"Pssst, over here you nuthead." came a soft hiss from the table in the corner of the cafe. A small, bald headed man sat at the table, pretending to drink a cup of tea and reading the newspaper.

Harden Swent looked around cautiously, trying to make sure that the coast was clear. He knew that his team would stand little chance against the juggernaut of Krytenia in their own stadium, and he was bound to try and give his team whatever edge they needed. Still, he hesistated when appraoching this fellow, he had heard strange rumors about him. Trying to show the sterotypical arrogant facade of an elf, Harden pulled out the chair, and stared directly into his contacts eyes as he sat.

"Lovely weather isn't it? But I do suspect that a spot of rain is in store for tommorow, tis a shame that is has to be the day of our match don't you agree Mr. Fratine?"

"Hardly Harden, I do believe that those clouds are in your favor. Might be that a certain diety is looking out for you and your squad it would be said. Everyone knows that the playing field is nearly evened in wet conditions."

"Might that a few silver coins were lost from a purse also?"

"Indeed they were, but they were returned to their proper owner quickly. It's a good thing they were, for it could of resulted in a horrible tragedy for those involved."

"Will I see you at the match then?"

"No my good elf, I don't care match for ugly affiars, but you got my blessings and hopes with you. I never did like these people and their arrogant ways, but they are what they are, however they have their weakness in that. Good day to you Mr. Swent."

As the elf watched his greed driven contact dip his hat, and make his leave to do as the elf had ordered, he only hoped that this would prove out to good ends. Sure he might lose his spot on the team if anyone found out he hired the grounds keeper to flood the field before a crucial match, but if it meant the Marauders had a better chance at getting a victory, he was willing to take the risk.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

TESSAN CRUSADER PRESUMPTION CRUSHED
Squornshelous Deny Being 'Fools for Christ'

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

In the finest victory for the Orthodox over crusading knights since St. Alexander Nevsky's defeat of the Teutonic Knights in 1242, the anonymous monks of the Archregimancy destroyed Tessan 4-1 away overnight, avenging all of Orthodoxy for the Fourth Crusade of 1204 in the process.

The victory was particularly welcome given the problems Tessan have caused the top seeds in group 9 this qualifying campaign, and indeed ranks as Tessan's worst result of WC31. But for a farcical misunderstanding in the 67th minute that led a comical own goal by our anonymous number 2 - who gently stroked a backpass into a temporarily unguarded net - the match would have ended in a 4-0 shellacking as the Archregimancy attack parted the Tessan defence as easily as Moses parted the Red Sea.

Monastic Football Association officials are rumoured to be gradually warming to the anonymity policy forced on the squad by the Holy Synod. "It led to some misunderstandings in the first half of qualification, but now that the lads are used to it, it's rapidly become apparent that it's made opposition scouting of our squad virtually impossible. They have even less of an idea of who's who than we do!" said a senior archimandrite, himself speaking on condition of anonymity.

Elsewhere in group 9, Squornshelous are still close behind the Archregimancy in second, but the Waffles of Spaam failed to take advantage of Tessan's home defeat as they were themselves defeated by Rorysville in what must surely count as the defeat of the week.

In other news, Squornshelous management last night also denied the theory advanced on 'World Cup Tonight' by popular Archregimancy broadcaster Fr. John the Golden Throated that the Pschychoes were so-called because they were secretly 'Fools for Christ'. When asked to comment, Fr. John merely winked at this reporter while stating "they would say that, wouldn't they? Only a true Fool for Christ would deny being one...."

The Former national player and former ASR employee Jeri Kis was surprised when he received a phonecall from the ASR building at 3 AM in the morning. He was seriously tempted to let the phone ring, or even better: to accept the call and then directly hang up. This has the advantage of costing one unit for the caller and to keep the bad news away from him until he was awake enough to deal with them coherently. The reason why he eventually got up and really answered it was that he remembered this number: the techlab at the ASR. Someone needed help with Hexatux!

"Hello Jeri!"

"Hexatux?"

"Exactly. I need your advise! I am being hacked! Well, they attempt to. What should I do?"

"Who is hacking you?"

"Anastasianian IP, might be a proxy!"

"Unlikely..."

"Why would that be unlikely?"

"it's Anastasiania, they could use a Konhikted* PC as proxy - at the same speed!"

"I see. I did not have this information. If it is Anastasiania, I think I let them access me."

"WHAT?"

"Well, Anastasiania is very bad in soccer, su?"

"Yeah."

"Soccer attracts the most viewers if the teams are at a good skill and this helps the World Cup. They do not play us, so I do not have to be loyal, do I?"

"well..."

"Isn't that korona'han**?"

"If you have a very warped definition of korona, then it is!"

"So I think I will help them."

"If you feel okay with that..."

...later...

The phone rang again and this time, Jeri replied it quickly.

"Hexatux?"

"Right, it's me! Does stupidity hurt?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"They did not check what I have in the database, they did not check whether data of their leagues existed."

"Which it did."

"Indeed. They uploaded the data via their 'connection'. their approximations were horribly."

"Naturally, in this limited amount of time."

"I even helped them and displayed the menu in rejistanian instead of Minokajetian. And guess what they did."

"Tell me."

"Misunderstood Anik'tes for Anik'han in the Offensive Positioning and some other ratings!"

"What did you do?"

"I used the data to sim a lineup."

"You did not correct them?"

"I am a computer. Garbage in, Garbage out."

"lol! Hexa, you are special!"

"And you are a nerd for using 'lol' outside of chats."

*Konihekta is the state-owned rejistanian ISP, who is required to provide internet access for free, but is only allowed so at the speed of 14.4 kB/s. A Konihekted PC is basically not connected to the internet with anything resembling speed.

**for prosperity. Nerdy joke since anything which is minimized is called 'cost' in computer science.

*An except from a late night talk show on the poorly developed, poorly transmitted, and rarely watched, TeleVision RagePeng*


"John Mireldly, we're estatic to have you here tonight."

"I'm just as pleased to be here Leroy, just as pleased."

"Well, John, as the most reliable, accurate, learned, acclaimed and publicised Political Consultant and Sports Predicter, we've asked you here tonight to discuss the connection between the near daily, and sometimes hourly, uprisings, coups, and rebellions that have begun to plague the nation as of late, and the unprecedented, unforseen success of our rogue "The Team". Now, John, many respected people, Corey Manessonian, for example, have said that their is a strong connection between these events and the fact that The Team is in a position to qualify for the World Cup so close to the end, and with teams already being disqualified, and one team already qualified. They've said that these things always flair up around things like this. What is your response to this?"

"Well, Leroy, much as I respect my colleague - and soon to be Best Man - Mr. Manessonian, I feel that these political upheavals have been a long time in arriving, and some of them, being over-due, saw their chance as others happened, and joined in, to create the false illusion that these successive outbreaks of disorder occured over the same reason or reasons."

"Could you, you know, explain that further. I'm not sure I know exactly what you're saying here. Have these rebellions been smoldering beneath the surface, or...?"

"Well, Leroy, the recently over-thrown Ninth Republic of the Penguinian Collective State, the eighth Penguinian Collective State this week, and the ninth this month, has been long over-due for its appearance. This very same group of "Collective Penguins", who made their pirated broadcasts in muffled voices and masks, are part of the very same group that the original Government, the one that had been around till this month, had been making efforts to track down. They were the same group who are suspected of freeing Derek Snaddly, and murdering another nations team during the last "Cup of Harmony". That they seized power nine times so far should have been anticipated, though their cause looks hopeless here, due to their species resembling anything but our highly proud, independant raging penguin population."

"...Er, I'm not sure where you're going with this, John. Why should we have expected these...these...pretty penguins to have siezed power a while ago, and why would their non-native aspect make any difference?"

"I'm sure you know, as anybody in Raging Penguins does, that before our raging penguins came along, and after them, humans, that a race of more beautifully plumaged penguins, more gentle, peaceful penguins lived here, but were largely annhilated by the incoming raging penguins, and the early Troglodyte hunting groups. These "Collective Penguins" are the descendants of the few survivors of the raging penguins' raids, come back to 'take back their homeland'. They tried to disrupt the domestic life of our Not-So-Grand Dutchy by releasing a Door-to-Door salesman, planting bombs beneath the ice of Bloco'yce Iceway Overpass, and making obscene noises on pirated radiowaves. My colleagues and I had predictied them to try an armed take-over three months ago.

"However, due to the long memory of the raging penguin, and the hatred the typical raging penguin holds against other species of penguin, and indeed to members of its own species, these masked penguins stood no chance of success. Until the Anti-Humanic League(AHL) had tried their flippers at governing - in vain - and the Trans-Penguanic Association for the Death and Murder of Humans and Other Offensive Organisms(TPADMHOOO) had failed as well, the 'Collective' could not even consider trying to take over the nation.

"With these powerful penguin groups fallen from grace, and the large population of raging penguins having scattered in loyalties, the 'Collective' made its first attempt. Then they were toppled by the Troglodytian First Council, and after two unsuccessful comebacks, they managed to edge the Rogue Councilors of Kindafrosti out, and waddle back in, where they stayed for the rest of they day, before a sudden backlash from the raging penguins came in the form of the mysterious Justtundra Monestary, when three 'brothers' of that Order entered the government palace by the front gate after round-house kicking all the guards, sectretaries and other competing rebel groups out of the way, beat up everybody they encountered in a very martial arts style, and then took over, installing a religious, anti-anything-but-raging-penguin style theocracy for the better part of the day, till Willie Dee and His Extremely Dangrous Hair took over."

"Ah, yes, the infamous "Hair Gel, Snacks, and Mid-day Naps" government. Quite shocker, that was. I don't believe anybody expected that, did they?"

"To tell you the truth, Leroy, we thought the two criminals were still too busy being imprisoned to attempt anything, much less a governmental take-over. Although, the Hair must have been ravenous if it had the appetite to eat three 'Justtundra Monks' and twelve Gloingglop Swamp Ravagers mid-coup in one go. Which leads us to consider; 'How well did that correctional facility feed them?'. But I digress. Anyway, my point is, many of these rebellions have been just below the surface, looking for the best possible time to take over. Not many of them were set off by The Team's success. They were all angered, certainly, but since we've been assured by various sources and our own newspapers that The Team winning is a massive plot by the Foreigners, the only two groups who over-threw the government due to sports related things were the Anti-Football Alliance and the General Mass of Rioteers, who set this whole chain off in the first place."

"I see. Well, I believe our time is up. Thanks for being on the show, John, and I hope to see your weekly prediction list in the paper on Saturday. Have great night everybody! Come back next week!"

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Vumaou no show Lovisa lose Again



After the win against Ropa-Topia on Matchday 13, the Turori National predicted the outcome of the final five matches of the Eels World Cup 31 Qualifying campaign. The outlook was less than optimistic for the individual games, but it did start out with a projected win over Lovisa, and Vumaou's Flock did not dissapoint, comfortably netting five times on Lovisan soil to set the groups whipping boys to an odd correlation of multiples of seven on matchday 14, with the Eels scoring the 49th goal into a Lovisan net, for which Lovisa has just responded 7 times, though none against Turori. The defeat leaves Lovisa 7 points back of their nearest opponent. Head coach Jualiar Vumaou took the opportunity to rest regular starters such as Cocoabo's number eleven and number nineteen and start some of the bench players who are pressing for a chance to impress before the World Cup finals, which the eels now look certain to be a part of, seven points clear of fourth with four matchdays to play.

In fact, even head coach Jualiar Vumaou himself was omitted from the squad in Lovisa, and it was reputable Vilita & Turori regional co-coach Malaino Mumamba who was calling the shots for his nation in the 5-0 win. Vumaou had opted to stay back in Turori and prepare for the upcoming matches against Fmjphoenix and Oliverry that will determine Turori's final placement in the group standings. Additionally, coach Vumaou spent some time entertaining citizens who had brought Cocoabo's to the Turori National Training facility to try them out as defenders.

"Yea, we had quite a few Cocoabo's show up really. They all had owners who all claimed they had the stuff to be the next Turorian defender. Of course I'd asked if there were any Cocoabo's that could play defense hanging about, but really, when I said play I meant play well. These folks are bringing their little pets over here some of them have had bows on their had. It really was a waste of my team and there wasn't a single one worth taking a look at. Our flock seems to be the only flock around that can kick a football, and I suppose that is to be expected. We're going to have to either start training some more ourselves or consider returning to a citizen based squad in the near future, because we did not anticipate losing so many Cocoabo's in the first two qualifying campaigns that we would be stretched this thin going into a potential World Cup Finals run. I don't think we'll be taking on any citizens for the World Cup Finals this time around. But perhaps qualifying next time round we'll have a few, If I'm still in charge, only time will tell."

Perhaps the excitement about returning to the egg in the conceded column against Lovisa was more a product of the inefficiency of the opposition attack than a direct result of the defensive contributions of the Turorian backline. The Eels have been lucky enough to have escaped the brunt of their qualification campaign with a similar level of opposition. The same will not be said should the Eels stroll on to the World Cup finals in Vilita & The Lowland Clans, where they are sure to be the underdogs no matter who they get drawn against.

The Eels have had the luxury of moving back atop the group table thanks to the great french defeat. Oliverry dropped a shocking 1-3 result at home to the michevious Marion Oaks 2, who have already taken points from Turori and Spruitland previously in the group. Despite not posing a qualification threat themselves, Marion Oaks 2 has proven to be a threat to the qualification battle that Turori will have to be wary of on the final matchday.


http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 5
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/ns-generic.gif Lovisa 1




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)
[8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407)
[9] :: Flock in Florida Falter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11869660&postcount=444)
[10] :: Flock Back on Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875294&postcount=485)
[11] :: Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879759&postcount=513)
[12] :: Defense Collapses as Eels Fall to Second (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11882406&postcount=542)
[13] :: Naked Topian's Left Limp (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11888865&postcount=580)
[14] :: Vumaou no show Lovisa lose Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893258&postcount=606)

To: UAFF
From: ASR, Hexatux
Subject: Garbage in, Garbage out!

Dear hacker,

You will surely now start thinking all the worst from your project, but to defend my reputation, I can tell you, that I would have been able to do better if I had exact information. Also, the understanding of "ascending" and "descending" could have helped. Basically, you forced me in parts to do a minimal lineup, not a maximal one. The funny part was that despite that 3 players still were in the lineup. I compiled some ideas for you in a text-file. It has none of this fancy text formats, because for me they are not really necessary.

Have a lot of fun...
~Hexatux

Attachment: improments.txt (2.1 Megabytes)

---same time, different place---
"Hello?"

"Y'he here. Is this Viskore Jha-Ne?"

"Exactly me!"

"You play for Lemekanil Veran 80'la?"

"I do."

"Welcome to the national team! Hexatux decided to give you a chance."

"You are Radijo HELIX?"

"No, we are the ASR."

"Arematu-Sheile~a Radiju then?"

"Asene Sekhika Rejistaniha."

"..."

"Viskore are you here?"

But he did not hear Jenji Y anymore for he fainted and collapsed on the floor.

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

Hobble, Hobble, Where fore are thou, Hobble

Page 1:
Panel 1:

Once again there was the pile of unconcious ninjas dressed in black laying on the floor arounf Louise, James and SuperClaymore. "Ma'am" said SuperClaymore as he held his hand out for Louiise to help steady herself as she steps over the bodies and towards the rear of the building. "Thank you, SuperClaymore. You are a gentlemen. Unlike some people". Louise had taken SuperClaymores hand and looked back towards James Who said "What?"

Panel 2:

They where now stepping over the bodies heading to the back towards the lift. "Where did all these Ninja's come from?" said James. "Probably through those over-head windows" said Louise pointing up to the closest one which was displayed in the panel there where 8 in total seen but there are strong implications of at least double that amount in the lobby itself. "Ninja's the cowardliest of fighters requiring the use of shadow and deception. Give me a straight up fight any day." said SuperClaymore as they progressed towards the elevator.

Panel 3:

"How did they know we where coming?" rhetorically asked Loiuse not really expecting anyone to know the answer. "Well, they might have just been waiting for a fly to walk into their trap." suggested James, but what he was really thinking was "Someone is gunning for us, I'm glad I got SuperClaymore to help." They where at the Elevator now and James was pressing the botton to go up. "I just hope whoever we have no more nasty surprises laid up instore for us."

Page 2:
Panel 4:

This Panel was actually fairly quite verbally as they all got in and pressed the button on the elevator for the correct level. It only was the first level but city dwellers were more comfortable with the elevator it almost enticed them to enter.
"SuperClaymore certainly is big," Louise was thinking. "I wonder if..." The doors of the elevator have closed. The panel was from the point of view inside the elevator. SuperClaymores head was choped out of the picture to emphasise his height. And Louise was looking at his Grional area.

Panels 5-7:

The Elevator got up to level one then conintinued upto level 3 and then 7. The occupants of the elevator had no idea what was going on, they should have stopped back at level one but they continued to rise. "I have a bad feeling about this." said James "I hate when things don't work as they supposed to." said SuperClaymore. "Especially when you are 7 levels above the ground." finished Louise

Page 3:
Panel 8:

The elevator had stoped at lvl 8. The highest level in the building that the elevator goes to. "Ah good, It stopped." said Louise. "yes, but the doors aren't opening. Why aren't the doors opening?" quibbled James. "I'll fix that. " said SuperClaymore as a small *Snap* was heard and displayed in the panel. "uh-oh" said James

Panel 9:

The whoosh of air could be heard around them as the elevator fell. "Quick, get in between my legs." said SuperClaymore as he straddled the ceiling of the elevator with the palm of his hands looking like he is trying to keep the ceiling from falling and his legs in a position to provide enough base support for him to do so. Louise and James where diving under SuperClaymore's leg. "If only I could be SuperDude now" he thought to himself as they where falling.

Panel 10:

CHASH!! was displayed at the bottom of the panel as the elevator had hit the bottom of it's shaft. The elevator seemed to be shaking as SuperClaymore grimaced and groaned with the strain of the physical forces being inflicted on him by the falling elevator coming to a complete stop. The floor had started to give as well as parts of the roof. Could it be that SuperClaymore, James or Louise might not survive this terrible fall?

Page 4:
Panel 11:

Indeed they had survived, the roof was bent out of shape and the floor was a right mess. "Are you alright?" asked SuperClaymore taking his arms down from the roof. He was obviously quite exhausted stopping an elevator falling from a great height took a lot out of him. "I'm fine." said Louise as she started getting out of that somewhat awckward position and James replied "I'm fine too." "good, good."

Panel 12:

"Time to get out of here." said SuperClaymore as he kicked at the door... Normally he would have punched his way through but he had to resort to using his legs. Louise and James where standing well back from the place where SuperClaymore was kicking the door. "What else can go wrong?" asked Louise. "I find it better not to ask that Question." replied James as they held each other in a non-sexual comforting each other sort of way.

Panel 13:

SuperClaymore had steped outside of the shaft they where in the buildings Basement. Louise was climbing out of the hole in the side of the elevator stepping into a small room that had an open door that lead to the Basement. James was still inside the elevator waiting for Louise to Step out. "I need to rest, that took a lot out of me. You should be safe if you take the stairs." said SuperClaymore as he was sitting on something in the basement.

Page 5:
Panels 14-15:

Small Panels that showed James and Louise enter the stairs from the basement and out onto level 1 of the office building nothing really much else, it was full of grey as the stairs where made out of concrete and very dull.

Panel 16:

It was easy to spot the offices of "Ides of March Inc." there was a big sign on the door which happened to be right in front of the stairs. The room had what looked like a glass wall showing the contents of the office was just a single room with a desk and a computer. Nothing else. "well let's see if we can determine what this is all about." said James.

Panel 17:

Louise opened the door, it was unlocked, hidden speakers in the room where broadcasting the live report on the Bazalope's match against Risa-Armour. "And another fumble by the Bazalope midfield. They just can't seem to get a break and as we come up to full time the score still remains nil-all." came out of the speakers "Interesting." said Louise "Indeed" replied James

Page 6:
Panel 18:

"Now to turn these speakers off." Said Louise as she sat down at the computer. "And now in the dying minutes Risa-Armour has been granted an extremely sloppy penalty in the penalty area... He shoots and goes wide..." said the speakers. "Well, that was embarrasing. Both for Risa and the Bazalopes." stated James... "Whatss this? Theres a 'Super Soccer League'on the desktop. I'll open it." said Louise

Panel 19:

reading the document Louise exclaimed "They've stolen the players to create a SuperPlayer and plan on cloning this SuperPlayer over and over again. Flooding the world with these extra-ordinary players." Louise finished speaking with a look on horror on her face the screen at all was not shown but Louise at the computer and JAmes just behind to her left, aka closer to the point of view of the reader. "We've gotta stop this, SuperDude will be able to deal with this!" said James

Panel 20:

A lightning flash once again came on this panel and hit Louise at the desk. James flew through the air and smacked into the plate glass, it had be especcially hardened to protect against guns and rocket launches. Particularily as this was done in the old Atheistic Right. The Golden Lion must have kept it.

Page 7:
Panel 21:

A full Page where James is ripping his clothes away to reveal his Super costmume underneath. "You have made a terrible mistake Golden Lion. You are now going to face the full force of the World Super Team." The computer was destroyed and a hole was where it once was. The area around the hole was scorched and sitting there on the scorched ground is that trademark Golden Lion statue. Emotion was clearly evident on SuperDude's face. The Golden Lion was going to face a fully charged SuperDude and his wrath.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou. Hobble?
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

From the (pickled) mind of Rameses Niblick III

Right, so let's see, where were we? Ah yes, celebrating Matchday Eight.....and when I woke up it was June. Remind me never to challenge that Jeremy Jaffacake bloke to a drinking contest. Sigh.

Right, I seem to remember being in a big stadium, I mean a big one, and lots of goals...hmm, probably that Hooberdome or whatever the slani hell it's supposed to be called. More drinking and singing "Five-three"...myst have beaten the CapitaliZts. Serves them right for having a capital Z in the middle of their bloody name. Sigh.

Then there was DJ8989...no, Ikeea...or was it them Sonya birds? No matter, we thrashed all of them...Divensi too. Possibly. Damn, that was a lot of whisky - gin - vodka - whatever. Then there was that trip to Sativaville - not entirely sure what I was drinking there...think it might have been one of the local spirits. Whatever it was, it gave me a strange craving for tortilla chips. I don't even like tortilla chips. Sigh.

And i think that's about where we are now. We've got....someone or other. Cataduanes? SLANI? Them Link lookey-likeys? Whatever, we're through, and I'm now officially out of booze. Sigh.

- Rami

Logged in

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/The_Mushroom_kingship.png Mushy_Mania



*** You are logged in ***

Mushy_Mania: crap noone on
Mushy_Mania: now I cant tell them about my expirience in the sports bar
Mushy_Mania: anyhoo I've got to go scorinate the games today

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Demot Daily ~ Home Strech

This is what it all boils down people, these next few games will detirmine who has the makings of heros, and who gets sent home with a fist full of excuses. Four games to go with a five point lead in the final qualifying spot, even after that dramatic injury time loss to their rivals over in the ESF. The team has put itself in the position where a four points out of the four games is all the team needs in order to make the Proper in only its' second trip in the grand stage of the World Cup, however the path is not completely smooth from here on out. Yes the schedule has have had the Dynamo play the majority of the high ranked squads before this juncture, but they still have two of the top three seeds to go, the underachieving Mystical Unicorns of Dorian and Sonya, and then that team that is not worth mentioning. Four points sounds easy enough considering how unimpressive the D&S side has been throuhout the tournament, but their last win did come against the powerful side of Cataduanes, who would love nothing better than to see the Dorians regain their form and deter the Dynamo from their path. Yet with the form this squad in particular has played with, it is hard to imagine that they will fall against the faltering Dorians. In short, this squad is bound to qualify, and nothing will stop them from that destiny, so sit back and enjoy the ride Demot, it's going to be a blast.

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

- Matchday 15 RP Cutoff -


MD15 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11894328&postcount=16)

Turtles out of runoff with draw.

The Turtles are out of the chance of qualifying for this World Cup, but not without securing a draw against Tynelia. The draw added a point and helped for a possible advancement in placing in group. Regardless of the outcomes of the remaining six matches, Sel Appa cannot advance.

Dazza looking confused and Ricky smiling.

Ricky: What's up Dazza?
Dazza: Oh nothing, just thinking. Heck, camera's on!

Ricky: This is Ricky Pointy Stick and that was Dazza Dallas, well thinking.
Dazza: And this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE.

Ricky: Dazza's puzzled why Montegrande play so well against Jeruselem. We've drawn them twice and she can't figure out why they play so well against us while managing to lost most of their other games.
Dazza: Yeah, they can't defend to save their life but they've played us twice and draw. Maybe two lucky days for team, but I don't know.

Ricky: We really should have won but the Montegrande proved stubborn enough once again. We did waste a lot of shots on goal though.
Dazza: Yeah, if the referee hadn't blow his whistle for offside so many times, it would have been a win. Really, I'm still puzzled.

Ricky: Folks, just watch the game on JGN and see you have to think.
Dazza: Never mind, two dropped points - we need two more wins and we are safe. Five draws, something's wrong.

Ricky: Ariddia did us a favour and beat Kericia. Not just any old win, FIVE NIL, yes a thumping and Kericia's goal difference just dived.
Dazza: See Ariddia are top 10 material, deservedly. Kericia are good team but you know - Ariddia are a lot of better! Ariddia stay 1st and Kericia stuck in 6th, 5 points adrift of 2nd placed Jeruselem. Ariddia move one win ahead of us, but they should just keep on winning and we are happy.

Ricky: Now what about the 3rd to 5th place teams?
Dazza: Magnus Valerius had to play Chicanada in a big crunch game. Both teams needed wins and a loss would a disaster. A tight game - never!

Ricky: Chicanada are a veteran and this team delivered again. A convincing and heartbreaking for the opposition that is, THREE NIL win to the Chicanada team against a challenger. Chicanada get back 3rd place again while Magnus Valerius stayed 5th because Kericia had lost.

Ricky: And Geisenfried moved up 4th place after being a tricky Cyredel who had beaten Kericia last game. THREE ONE and 3 more goals for the kitty.
Dazza: Kericia are either playing badly for everyone else is playing good - given Kericia were once 2nd, we think they may need a confidence boost. Geisenfried are still my pick, provided we don't fail to qualify that is.

Ricky: And the table is looking, well a little clearer now.
Dazza: Ariddia lead Jeruselem by 3 points and Jeruselem lead 3rd placed Chicanada by 3 points. One point behind them are Geisenfried on 28 points. Magnus Valerius are only two points adrift of them in 5th and then we have Kericia in 6th, one point away. 10 points differenc between 1st abnd 5th but that gap is only 7 points between 2nd and 6th. It's still close with 3 rounds left to play and Group 7 we have six teams still in the hunt.

Ricky: Now for Group 2 where Nedalia are fighting for surival in worse situation than us.
Dazza: It's looking bad. Nedalia beat Risa-Aramour TWO ONE but Bedistan, Bazalonia and Errinundera all won too meaning no change in the top 4. I think Bedistan and Bazalonia are assured of a spot now but Nedalia must catch Errinundera. Five point difference between these teams - meaning if Nedalia wins all it's remaining 3 games then they must hope Errinundera lose two of theirs. Unless Errinundera mess it all up, Nedalia will not make the top 3.

Ricky: Socialist Romanistan will not qualify for sure but then they are still trying. The Lisburn Mateys beat them FIVE NIL.
Dazza: Poor kids, but no room for sulks here. You gotta get the wins or you're gone. Dazza still loves ya Socialist Romanistan.

Ricky: So in summary, Jeruselem stay 2nd but need two more wins to be secure. Ariddia should make it and Nedalia are in trouble.
Dazza: YAP YAP (dances)

Ricky: Hey, that's what why wife does we was nice like you.
Dazza: I bet she hasn't changed much, eh?

Ricky: She's still 18 to me.
Dazza: This mans knows what a woman wants to hear.

Ricky: And more commercial plugs now!
Dazza: Peoples - you want to number 13 Dazza Dallas World Cup jersey or one for another World Cup captain? Well, go to Zebra sports and they can help you. They won't have all the jerseys especially those ones from tiny nations with a 3 digit budget but they will have the ones for all the well known teams like Jeruselem, Bedistan, Starblaydia, Nedalia, Ariddia, and so on. So get a World Cup captain jersey and look like world cup leader on the streets. As a bonus, the number 13 jeruselem jersey - mine - is signed by me. You don't like red and while, so get the pink one for the Women's World Cup. Don't miss out because this is special offer.

Ricky: I'd get a Jeruselem one but I'd look silly with a Dazza jersey, so I'm getting one for my wife instead. She's the captain of my family.
Dazza: And your daughter.

Ricky: She'd love one too. Scary thing - she's a bit like you.
Dazza: So you're getting a Nedalian one?

Ricky: Despite my home team not performing, we live in hope.
Dazza: And I don't need to get one of course.

Ricky: So, you're going to play topless or something?
Dazza: That's happened once, it wasn't my fault!

Ricky: That's it for THE FOOTBALL LIFE
Dazza: See you all next time and sweet dreams.

Group 2:
Risa-Aramour [1] Nedalia [2]

Group 7:
Kericia [0] Ariddia [5]
Chicanada [3] Magnus Valerius [0]
Cyredel [1] Geisenfried [3]
Montegrande [1] Jeruselem [1]
Tryanny [1] The Macabees [1]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Ariddia 15 11 2 2 47-16 +31 35
[2] Jeruselem 15 9 5 1 35-15 +20 32
[3] Chicanada 15 9 2 4 29-18 +11 29
4- Geisenfried 15 9 1 5 43-25 +18 28
5- Magnus Valerius 15 8 2 5 24-23 +1 26
6- Kericia 15 7 4 4 40-27 +13 25
7- The Macabees 15 5 1 9 19-38 -19 16
8- Tryanny 15 2 3 10 10-39 -29 9
9- Montegrande 15 1 5 9 12-30 -18 8
10- Cyredel 15 1 1 13 13-41 -28 4



Group 8:
Lisburn Mateys [5] Socialist Romanistan [0]

QAZOXIAN TIMES

POINTS -5

That -5 you see up above this writing is the number of points needed now over the last 3 games for the Black Oxen to clinch a berth in World Cup 31. Why only -5? becuase of a last minute controversial goal by ASMV that's why. But that's getting ahead of ourselves.

Qazox returned home from their 2nd lengthy road trip, back into Qazian Memorial Stadium, which over the years has been more friendly to opponents than a puppy on crack. A losing record at home each of the last 4 Cups has doomed past attempts at qualification, but with only ASMV seen being a possible obsticle this time, seemed all but likely for the Black Oxen.

The match began with the sellout crowd of over 105,000 chanting and singing and clanging their Oxbells, a noise that at one point registered over 110 Db. With the crowd and momentum from their 2nd win over Starblaydia fresh, The Black Oxen took the pitch ready to roll over ASMV once again. But somewhere along the line ASMV misplaced the memo and within 7 minutes, the noisy crowd was hushed as ASMV had taken a 1-0 lead.

But Qazox has been there before and done that and has the "I was down 0-1 and all I got was lousy T-shirt" t-shirt. Rene LaTreque, who has really improved her play since the last cup, answered the opening goal with one of her own in the 30th minute, giving new life back to the Oxbell ringing fanatics.

The second half saw Qazox dominate the pitch, but ASMV's keeper looked like Reggie Hassok out there stopping 13 striaght shots until Rene put one past in the 66th minute, giving the Black Oxen a 2-1 lead.

With time running down and the crowd ready to celebrate being only a win away from qualification, a mot heinous call was called on Yossel Griffin, who to my view only hit the shin, but the Referee pulled out a Red-Card for intent to injure, as the ASMV forward was holding and yelling loudly about his kneecap being broken. With little time left before a 1 minute injury time, Asmv took and made thier penalty shot tying up the match at 2-2, with almost no time left to mount one last gasp for the winner. After the match, the "injured" ASMV forward was jumping and running with little sign of injury. So due to a blantant act of acting, which might even win an ELMO, Qazox was robbed of certain victory.

But not all is lost, as Starblaydia and Raging Penguins drew eachother, Keeping Qazox still in 2nd place. Up next for the Black Oxen is Nikea, whom Qazox easily beat 4-1 earlier in qualifing. Should be about the same this time around as well, as the Magic Number should be down to 2.

DOWNLOADING DAY FIFTEEN SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY FIFTEEN SCORE- GREEN WOMBAT 4- PABLICOSTA 0

GOALS: GW- HERMES CONRAD (10,11) 16TH AND 24TH MINUTES; ROGER WILCOX (13,14) 33RD AND 70TH MINUTES


GAME SUMMARY: Once angain the FZW destroyed Pablicosta, this time 4-0 as Hermes Conrad and Roger Wilcox each scored twice, giving Green Womabt the 1st pair of teammates with 10 goals each in this Cup. Randy Johnson was brillant in net, earning his 4th shut-out as Green Wombat kept pace with Az-Cz who still have a 5 point lead. The next match is very critical as it is against Az-Cz. A win and the FZW still have a chance, a loss and they are done.

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: The stoners are still alive, but time is running out as they were held to a 2-2 draw at Cataduanes earlier today. The draw, coupled with ESF's upset over a qualified Krytenia, drops the Stoners into 5th, meaning they will now have to jump past 2 teams to qualify.

Emil Timmermann scored twice, in the 34th and 68th minutes, giving him 10 goals in the cup, a new team record. But Catduanes' tow goals in the 50th and 80th minutes left Sativaville 5 points out with only 3 games left to play.

Up next of the Stoners is Commerce Heights, currently 1st in the group. They have already qualifed, so they might not send thier A-squad out, so a win is possible, but Sativaville has not played well on the road as of late, and a loss here would all but end any chance for advancement. Congats to all the teams that so far have qualified for the 31st World Cup:

Bazalonia
Bedistan
Bettia
Casari
Commerce Heights
Cuation
The Islands of Qutar
Krytenia
Liverpool England
New Montreal States
Rejistania
Schiavonia

Southport News
“No witty slogan. We’re just boring like that.”

Raptors barely stay alive with draw against Tadjikistan

ETOKA – With only four matches remaining, the Raptors needed to keep up the winning streak they find themselves in if they are to have any hope of moving on to the World Cup proper. Unfortunately against Tadjikistan no one on either team could find the net. The 0-0 draw means the Raptors are not dead yet, but with Cuation and New Montreal States securing the two of the three qualifying spots, Aurendia will need some help if they are to avoid the Cup of Harmony.

With three matches remaining and one more qualification spot on the line, Tadjikistan currently sits in third place with 28 points. In fourth place sits surprising newcomers The Mushroom Kingship with 25. The Raptors are currently fifth, with 23 points, while Becquerelia are the last team not yet eliminated, with 19 points.

The Raptors will finish the qualifying round with three final home games. Next up is Adamica 5-2 victims on Match Day 7; followed by One Red Dot, responsible for a 0-0 draw on Match Day 8; and finishing with Haraki, 3-1 victors on Match Day 9. Three victories for the Raptors would leave them with 32 points. Two wins and a loss would still allow the Raptors to advance, provide Tadjikistan gets three losses and Mushroom Kingship is held winless. Realistically though, the Raptors need to finish off with three straight wins, and hope for the best.

Az-cz Scroll
Port Mid-Mjr
Il-Lur

Gnomes dominate Sel Appa, on verge of qualification

The Gnomes put together an incredible performance to send the Sel Appa turtles away beaten and dejected. Now with the right results on the next match day the Gnomes could seal qualification.

The team set an Az-cz record for quickest goal scoring taking just 12 seconds to score from the opening kickoff. Stanleyinho recieved the opening kickoff and quickly got it to Kn-Dg who fired it in past the Sel Appa keeper to start the rout.

And the second goal was scored nearly as fast as Kn-Dg was set up for his second goal in the second minute of the game, after passes fro Pizelkaxrovsky and Stanleyinho. After a mere two minutes the Gnomes already had a two goal cushion.

Based on the standards of this game the next goal took ages, not coming until the 9th minute. Amazingly Kn-Dg finished off his hat trick. Pizelkaxrovsky took a freekick from nearly the halfway mark and kicked it well up field to Kn-Dg just outside the box who curled it home to give the Gnomes a 3-0 lead less than 10 minutes in.

From there the game slowed down to a regular pace. Sel Appa proved to have some life in them as they actually made some attacks and got into Gnomes territory a bit. It was proven just how much of a Gnomes day this was going to be when a beautiful turtles cross in to the box was thwarted by the feet of a Sel Appa player. Alan Dubrov had gotten wide open in the goal area but he fell over untouched by Az-cz players which allowed Gn-Lg to corrale the ball easily and send the ball back upfield.

Although the Gnomes continued to push forward, there were no more goals to be found in the rest of the first half, but that hardly meant the Gnomes were done.

At the half one of the Golems players made their way on to the pitch. Ox-Rx was brought on for Stanleyinho. That provided another burst of enthusiasm for the team and they opened the second half with another goal in the opening minute. Shortly after kickoff Zax-Im stole the ball from Sel Appa, quickly got it to Pizelkaxrovsky who then found Ox-Rx to push the scoreline to 4-0. At this point the team moved somewhat defensive taking Levesque out for Ip-Gp.

With the team deployed back there wasn't much offense for a long period after the fourth goal. The team basically just kept possession and milked the clock. That is until Uz-Gz, the other Golems striker, was sent on with ten minutes to play. That energized the team and once again they found a way to capitalize.

Ml-Dni made a nice steal to set up a quick counter. Ip-Gp was the middle leg and Uz-Gz finished off with a beautiful goal in the 85th minute.

With that the Gnomes finished off their 5-0 victory and put themselves in a position to qualify on the next match day. They play host to Green Wombat in Castle Burlock. If the Gnomes can win that, coupled with either a Tynelia loss or tie as they host Rejistania, then the Gnomes are through to the world cup proper.

Stats

Score Az-cz 5 Sel Appa 0
Az-cz scorers 1,2,9 Kn-Dg 46 Ox-Rx 85 Uz-Gz
Shots Az-cz 22 Sel Appa 6
Possession Az-cz 77% Sel Appa 23%
Corners Az-cz 2 Sel Appa 0

Jo-El: Congratulations to the team on an incredible performance today. Just dominating. Here to tell us more are coach Hawdon, Zax-Im and Kn-Dg, joining us after his second hat trick of these qualifiers.

Hawdon: The teams really kicked it up these last few games. If we can carry that with us just a bit long we'll be able to power through. I was amazed as everyone else about what happened out there today.

Az-cz reporter 1: You said that you weren't planning on getting the Golems strikers in the game, but they both played. Why is that?

Hawdon: Because we could afford to play them. Any time you get a hat trick in nine minutes it frees your options up.

Az-cz reporter 2: Tell us what happened on the goals to start each half.

Kn-Dg: Well the first one. I just went long on the opening play and Stanleyinho hit me beautifully.

Zax-Im: And the one at the start of the second half I just knew what they were doing and read it and sent it forward. Pizelkaxrovsky handled it beautifully and Ox-Rx delighted his home fans.

Frank Dee: What kind of support have you recieved from the fans back in Bazalonia?

Hawdon: Well the fans have been somewhat encouraging, but I'm definitely gotten great support from people in Bazalonia. Of course my brother, but many people in the Bazalonian football heirarchy have been very supportive. I didn't do as well as they would've liked while I was there, but getting Az-cz to a world cup final would still maze Bazalonia look good.

Az-cz reporter 3: How nervous are you guys going into the Green Wombat match?

Zax-Im: Not that nervous. I think we were all more nervous going in to the Baptism of Fire finals. There it was when or it's over. Here we've still got two games after this to try and get into the finals. We'd like to get it over with, but it isn't the end of the world if we lose. Plus this one we'll be in Az-cz in Castle Burlock, which can be a disorienting place for people who have never been their before.

Kn-Dg: Agreed. We're playing strong football right now. Of course there's nerves. But there's also a lot of confidence. Plus it helps knowing that we've got the best player on the pitch and a legend on the sidelines.

Az-cz reporter 4: Will there be any tactical suprises in store for Green Wombat?

Hawdon: Not likely. There might be, but what we've got here is working pretty well. I don't see any reason to change.

Az-cz reporter 5: What about roster changes?

Hawdon: There definitely won't be any of those. I'm really not concerned with Green Wombat knowing who we're going to play. They've still got to figure out a way to beat us. We're playing much better than we were the first time we met, so I think we'll be ok.

Az-cz reporter 6: We'll the team be doing anything different to prepare for the game?

Hawdon: Well I've got some stuff prepared, but I can't very well tell you now or it won't have the same effect.

Jo-El: Alright. We come to today's voice of the fan. Today's question comes from Satsuko Kakihara. She writes "Who has been the biggest influence on your career?"

Hawdon: That would definitely be my brother. He's really helped push me to where I am today. Without his support I wouldn't have been able to climb to these heights. After losing my job in Bazalonia it looked like I might have lost my dream of coaching in a World Cup. But he convinced me I could do it and now I'm on the verge thanks to these great players.

Zax-Im: Obviously old coach Levesque. He was the person who discovered me and got me to the Knights. He's played a huge role in my development and I know that I wouldn't be here without him.

Kn-Dg: I know it's cliche, but my parents. My father for supporting my decisions along the way. I know he wanted me to become a Kleptoballer, just like he was, but I loved soccer and he respected that. And my mother for help teach me my morals and giving me strength of character. And both of them for all of their love.

Jo-El: Isn't that nice. Wonderful question Satsuko.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 6-0 Tryanny http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/tryanny.png

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/kericia.png Kericia 0-5 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

Almost there now
Kericia tryannised!

It was a time for much rejoicing in Ariddia.

Playing a home match at last, the PDSRA hosted Tryanny at Darras Olympic Stadium, and proceeded to delight the home crowd by achieving its highest winning score since. . . World Cup 7!

At a time when teams are beginning to feel the pressure, and successive wins are needed so as not to be eliminated from the competition, the Rouge-et-Noirs appear to be in top form. The match was, for once, an unquestionable walkover. Ariddia’s defence held solidly against Tryanny’s attacks, and goalkeeper Cécile Granville was at her best on those few occasions when a threat reached her goalcage. At the other end of the field, by contrast, Tryanny keeper Richard Detrot was having a miserable day.

Midfielder Hanifah Kyaw was her usual self, providing a goal for the team, while attacker Nam Hyok-Jun scored two, and Dave Rider – a revelation for this team – also put two past Detrot. And Sébastien Lescrit, entering the field near the end of the game, scored his first ever goal in the red and black kit.

The last time Ariddia performed so well was against Etria, during the qualifying stages of World Cup 7, and now supporters were ecstatic to see how far the ‘new’ team had come.

The Rouge-et-Noirs then flew off to Kericia, a far more dangerous opponent. There were fewer Ariddians in the stadium, of course, but they cheered and encouraged their team just as loudly. Kericia, once an impressive side, struggled against the Rouge-et-Noirs’ attacks, and seemed to have no coherent answer to the confident Ariddians. Kyaw and Nam both did their bit, while Simon, Rider and Andrews also shot the ball past Kerician keeper Alex Quintin, making the final score an unexpected 5-0.

“Eleven goals in two matches, and none conceded!” one fan exclaimed excitedly. “They’ve got fire in their veins!”

Particularly impressive against Kericia were Ke Sho, brought in part-way through, and goalkeeper Cécile Granville, who yet again let no goal past her. Having conceded only two goals in the past seven matches, she has greatly contributed to boosting the team’s goal differential. . . which now stands at +31.

Jeruselem drew against an impressive Montegrande, although the latter are eliminated nonetheless. It is now that the pressure will be felt at its strongest, as no team has yet qualified out of the “Group of Death”.

Uhuhla nd as a whole is also doing well, as neither Ropa-Topia nor Backwardistan has been eliminated yet. Ropa-Topia is currently in fourth place in Group 10, staying in with a chance after another victory, while Backwardistan has a more than respectable 24 points in Group 2, and holds on to hopes of snatching the last available qualifying spot away from Errinundera. . . who have also played impressively, much to the delight of their Ariddian fans.

"Get Your Arses In Gear, Now!"
Oberlander calls for increased performances

After two humiliating results - a loss to Qazox and a draw with Raging Penguins - at home, and just two wins in their last five matches, Starblaydia Coach Jaime Oberlander has put a rocket up the backside of his entire squad, stating that recently they have simply not been good enough.

"Going away to Qazox and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and walking awaywith just a single point is something I can take, but when we host Qazox and Raging Penguins in our own back yard we should be winning the three points - not just expecting them."

Oberlander is failing to single out individual players for their lack of effort, citing a team-wide slump brought on by a seemingly less than challenging group stage.

"With such a large group we looked at it to begin with and thought 'what a load of dross, that's 100% again right there', but we were wrong. That attitude has left Starblaydia with the joint-fewest number of points for a group leader [along with 10th-ranked Arridia in Group Seven] and much to our shame and early predicitions we still haven't qualified yet."

To be mathematically sure of qualification [Great Caesar's ghost, how long has it been since we needed to work out how many points Starblaydia needed to keep 1st spot? - Ed.] Starblaydia require four points from nine. Considering they've got eight from their last fifteen available, one would hope that they can retain both a Qualifying spot and that first-place Qualifying position that they've held since Matchday One.

For all their problems - being first in the group and three points clear is a problem 90% of teams in Qualifying would love - Starblaydia are still scoring, on average, three goals a match and conceeding just the one. Though the ratio four years ago was far better in terms of goals conceeded (one-fifth of a goal per match, in fact), three-per-match was about the same ratio Starblaydia had on their way to a Runners-Up finish.

Hopefully this is just a blip, and Starblaydia will once more come alive in the Finals proper. You have to wonder, though, how many teams can not-win a couple of matches in succession and call it a blip? Starblaydia are still ranked at Number-One in the world and heopfully should stay there in the re-jigged rankings for the World Cup itself. With it's proud sporting heritage Starblaydia should be performing better than this, it just appears complacency is truly setting in for the first time in over sixty years.

When you're the best in the world, you need to fight every bit as hard as when you were on the journey to the top, otherwise the very next match could see you broken and shamed on the rocky road back down the rankings.

Starblaydia need to fight just that little bit harder.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden Throated

"So, Fr. John.... Tocapa...."

"To Hell with Tocapa, Fr. Nicholas - and I mean that quite literally, with the caveat that it is not for us to know how God, in His infinite wisdom, might make His mercy manifest."

"Quite, Fr. John"

"But realistically, boring our audience with a long discussion on an easy 2-0 win over a bunch of bottom-scraping no-hopers would be a waste of time"

"Absolutely, Fr. John."

"So I think we should talk about something more exciting."

"And what would that be, Fr. John? Disagreements over Diocesean boundaries in New Montreal States? The canonical status of the Iconodulistic Orthodox Church of Bazalonia? The wacky adventures of Fr. Symeon of Schiavonia? The sordid heresies of the briefly Orthodox coach of Casari?"

"No, none of the above - though when you put it that way, Orthodoxy's become all the rage in recent World Cups, Fr. Nicholas...."

"I should think so too - but what was it you wanted to talk about, Fr. John?"

"Well, it's this here anonymity policy...."

"Careful, there...."

"No, no... no need to worry. You see, I'm going to admit I was wrong, Fr. Nicholas"

"<stunned silence>"

"Yes, Christian humility demands that I admit I was wrong. I was highly critical of this anonymity policy, foisted on the lads by the Holy Synod, but in fact it's been a great boon to the team. As you wrote in your fine newspaper article yesterday, whatever the early disadvantages to team coherence, in the long run it's been a massive advantage - opposing teams simply have no idea how to scout an anonymous team. Brilliant! I mean, at this stage we're usually struggling to qualify in the bottom spot, and while we all know how good suffering is for the soul, I don't think we should overlook the theological benefits of a long winning streak taking us to top of the group."

"But we still have to play both Spaam and Sqournshelous, Fr. John..."

"I realise that, Fr. Nicholas, but let's assume we beat the blasphemers from the Lord of Hosts tomorrow - which we should - and Spaam win too. Which they might or might not. If we manage that, we have to lose both of our last matches, Spaam has to win both _and_ overcome our goal difference to keep us out. And if we beat the blasphemers and Spaam drop points in any of their last three... we're in. God be praised..."

"It has been an unusually smooth second half of qualifying, Fr. John...."

"Which undoubtedly means things will all go horribly pear shaped once we're in the World Cup proper. But we might as well enjoy this while it lasts....."

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Is it even possible anymore??

The bogey team strikes Alasdair I Frosticus beat us again, the team we picked out as the dark horses have now beat us both home and away and both times by a three goal margin. Milchama on the other contiinued trudging on and are now 6 points ahead with just three games left.

Alarm bells ringing?? your dam right they are, and aslo take into consideration that the final two games are against Bettia and LE while Milchama have Socialist Romanistan a team we just demolished 5 - 0. Realisitically we need to win out last three games and also hope Milchama stumble, something most people do not see happening.

Stephan Mc Niece today earnt his first international cap since half way through the last world cup campaign. Mc Niece fell out with manager Kirk after a diving row and then spent most of the following year on the injury list. Also the emergence of Richard Naylor has pushed him down the pecking order. Mc Niece took the place of K Livingston who was rested for todays game.

Mateys ran out 5 - 0 winners with Richard DOugherty scoring a hat trick and Naylor and Scott Mitchell gettin the other two

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing coverage of tynelia’s fading chances of qualifying for WC31. Today the team did what dana expected them to do, come away with a narrow 1-0 win over Nebuleux that did little to help the team’s goal differential. Things were made worse with victories by both Az-cz and the Green Wombats leaving Tynelia’s chances extremely faint. In fact one scenario will have us eliminated completely if we don’t pull off a huge upset over Rejistania. I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee as always. Another day of mixed results I’d have to say.”

“Unfortunately you’re right, things worked out as expected. Facing the highest ranked squad of the three teams fighting for third Tynelia won by the smallest margin. The next matches couod very well finish everything with the Wombats facing Az-cz and us against rejistania in yet another ‘must win’ match for the team.”

“Yes Dana and even if we do win out it’s still a tough road. The Green Wombats after the Az-cz match face D2R and us while the gnomes face Schiavonia and D2R to end things. Ironically with Pablicosta and the Wombats left we have the easiest schedule on paper left, but by then it could be too late. One win by Az-cz and with a current +11 goal differential edge on us it will be tough to make that up given Tynelia’s offensive struggles. However someone did point out that if Az-cz goes 0-2-1 these last three matches a Tynelia sweep will give us the third spot clear as we would pass the Wombats off the last matchday win. Given the compeititon its not entirely unlikely though the gnomes have shown no signs of stumbling yet this Cup.”

“And you’;re forgetting one very vital detail Mike, Rejistania. Tynelia MUST win this match to have any hopes of moving on but the top seeds have had an extremely strong second half to move into a tie pointswise with Schiavonia to advance. That leaves another danger. If Rejistania decides to rest some starters because they have clinched a spot could very well mean Schiavonia could do the same in the match after this with the gnomes.”

“So what you’re saying Dana is that in a sense our season is decided today.”

“Pretty much Mike, oh if the Wombats manage to win and we get a draw we’d have a slim chance of recovering the five points we’d be down with two matches but I expect the gnomes to at least get points off of D2R. Still a Wombat’s win is our best chance at this point providing we can do something with Rejistania.”

“Ironic isn’t it Dana that our two biggest rivals are the two biggest signs of hope for us right now.”

“Well I get the Wombats Mike but who is the other team?”

“Qazox Dana, the oxen managed to beat Starblaydia twice this Cup despite a bigger gap in the ranks than ourselves and Rejistania. So their results show that a win here is not quite as impossible as some think.”

“Good point Mike.”

“And I must regretfully tell our viewers that considering the importance of this next game Coach Billington has made himself unavailable to the media so he can work on the plan of attack when Rejistania visits the Presidential Coliseum here in Tynelia.”

“What about Tom Gordman Mike? Has there been any updates?”

“Nothing positive Dana, we’ve been trying to hold out on the news until we had some more information. Clearly he was too focused on the incoming shot and forgot where he was when he went into that dive.”

“Yes I was as shocked as anyone when he lunged at the ball so close to the goal post and heard that sickening crack as his shoulder made contact with the post as the shot ended up being wide. He was very fortunate that it wasn;t his head that hit because he could have suffered an even more serious injury.”

“It looked like a collarbone injury from the way he was grabbing his shoulder on the ground. Defintely more than just a dislocation.”

“And now that puts Coach Billington in an interest position Mike. Yes Jim Michaels was supposed to sit this match out to get him fresh for the Rejistania one. Fortunately he was able to get in there and keep the shutout for the team,but now Billington finds himself with only Brian Barns, who hasn’t started in net in over a year as his only remaining player with any sort of keeper experience.”

“Yes if something happens to Michaels then the team would be in real trouble. As it stands Barns only played in the last match with the Algal States and in the first half in garbage time against Pablicosta and Schiavonia, but as a defender not a keeper. Obviously his practice priorities will be changing the rest of the way now.”

“Yes they sure will Mike. I wonder if Gordman will be available for the CoH since its looking more likely that is where we will end up. But clearly I think as long as Tynelia has a chance Michaels will be playing out the string. Billington doesn’t really have a choice here.”
“Yes you’re probably right Dana, I don’t see Barns in net for any match that means something. Still it’s a heavy burden to place on Michaels. I hope he’s up to it. So Dana, time to make your picks.”

“OK Mike, first time around Rejistania handled Tynelia quite easily at home 3-0 and that seemed to be the point where Rejistania started its recovery from a slow start. We can hope the same thing happens in our favor this time. I think Tynelia’s only chance to win is to keep Rejistania under two goals. Our offense is still playing badly and I don’t see us scoring more than once even at home. But I’ll be optimistic here and go with a 1-1 draw which doesn’t really help us any. However if Rejistania decides to sit a lot of their starters then I think we could pull off the upset.

“With everything else settled I’m just going to look at the only match that matters to us at this point, Az-cz against the Green Wombats. Last time they played to a 2-2 draw. These two teams are almost perfectly matched in both goals scored and allowed with a slight edge to the gnomes. The Wombats however have had a strong second half as well. Yet if I was the Az-cz coach I would say this is the lowest ranked team they face these last three matches and I’m sure he wants to finish things off as soon as possible so I doubt they will hold anything back out there. After all an Az-cz win and anything short of a win for us and the gnomes qualify. With that in mind I say 3-1 Az-cz as they clinch their spot.”

“OK then Dana, another disappointed Cup for Tynelia then it sounds like as they again waste a promising first half to stumble down the stretch. Hopefully Rejistania gives its regulars a rest and we do pull off the upset but we’ve yet to beat any team in the top ten in the world in our history. This would be a good time to start. And considering the importance of the other match TSW will be sending a crew over to Az-cz to give us frequent updates of that huge match as the Tynelia-Rejistania match plays on live on TSW. That’s right, every goal in the Az-cz- Green Wombats match will be shown during our own coverage so fans will know immediately the twists and turns in our World Cup fate could very well be decided. Until then this is Mike McPhee for Dana lee and Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

OOC: Okay, so I've been rushed for time lately and I don't have the best of ideas. So, I'm cheating a little, I guess, and using my Surf RP, because it talks about the national team. :P

IC:
Waiting for the second run of the Vilitan Pipeline Invitational qualifiers, the three Liverpool England surfers (for those not in the NS Surf Tour, that's Keith Cavanovich, Gareth Hunter and Prime Minister Michael Harley) decided to take a nice stroll down the beach and talk football.

"So, Keith (Kuepça Çavanoçich), what're your thoughts on our team? We managed to beat Delesa away today, 2-1."

"Well, Gareth [Hunter]... the team has what, 64 goals for in 15 games? That's very impressive, over five goals a game."

"Uh, not quite, Keith, 64 divided by 15 only gives, uh... 4.27, my friend."

"Well, you get my point. Thomas Lunson's transformed this team into something amazing. They did well last time out in...uh..."

"Schiavonia and... uh..."

"You two have horrible memories. Schiavonia and Qutar hosted World Cup 30. We finished third."

"Of course you'd remember! You're the Prime Minister!"

All three burst into laughter.

"Anyhow, we've already qualified for the finals. That's good."

"Yes, it is. Adam Tsai's doing a brilliant job of captaining this team. And the goalkeeper... Adam Carrero... just three more qualifying games, and that's his international career. He obviously wants to do the best he can."

"Yeah, that's true."

"All competitors please return to positions for the second round."

"Aww, crud. Well, good luck for the next run, guys."

"Yeah, you too Keith, and Mike."

"I sure will need it," Harley joked, as they hurried back to the main competition area.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Vikings Sunk



The Fmjphoenix Vikings entered Matchday 15 nine points out of 3rd place in the group standings. With just twelve points left to play for, nothing less than a victory would suffice for Fmjphoenix as the travelled to Turori to face the top-placed Eels on their own turf at the Almintora National Stadium. While Turori ran out clear winners in the first leg in Fmjphoenix, many expected the return leg to be a closer battle, and they were correct.

The opening period was a battle between Viking & Cocoabo of the likes of which had perhaps never been seen before. Fighting for every ball, claw clashed with shied and the incredible sounds resonated throughout the packed Almintora National. The teams entered the break goalless, but that would change soon after in the second half as Cocoabo number eleven, back after a brief rest in the previous match against Lovisa, opened the scoring to the delight of the home supporters just three minutes into the second half. But Fmjphoenix would reply as they attempted to save their tattered qualifying campaign. The battle would rage on, but in the end, a late double salvo from Cocoabo number nineteen would seal the victory for Turori, and send th Fmjphoenix Vikings packing, perhaps for the Cup of Harmony, or an early exit from their place in the World's Elite.

Like Fmjphoenix, trailing Marion Oaks 2 was also eliminated on Matchday 15 as the top four in the group all recorded victories, each doing so by recording three tallies on the score sheet. This leaves the top four entirely unchanged with three matchdays to play, Spruitland holding on to the third spot by just two points over the surprising challengers from Uhuh Land. Turori needs just one victory from its final three matches to secure qualification for the first time since World Cup 28, While only one scenario exists for the Eels to miss out.

Such a Scenario would require Ropa-Topia to win its remaining 3 matches, leaving them on 39 points. Such a scenario would also require Spruitland to be victorious in two of its final three matches, leaving them on 38 points, and Oliverry be victorious in their match over Turori, leaving them also on 38 points, giving the group to Ropa-Topia and seeing Turori left out in the cold. With matches against already eliminated Spaamaniun Plijous and Marion Oaks 2, however, most Eels supporters are already booking their tickets for Vilita & The Lowland Clans, even if Oliverry pips them to the top spot in their Matchday 16 meeting.


http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 3
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/fmjphoenix.gif Fmjphoenix 1




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)
[8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407)
[9] :: Flock in Florida Falter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11869660&postcount=444)
[10] :: Flock Back on Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875294&postcount=485)
[11] :: Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879759&postcount=513)
[12] :: Defense Collapses as Eels Fall to Second (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11882406&postcount=542)
[13] :: Naked Topian's Left Limp (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11888865&postcount=580)
[14] :: Vumaou no show Lovisa lose Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893258&postcount=606)
[15] :: Vikings Sunk (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11896164&postcount=627)

World Cup Chat Presented By OSPN


With Plummy and Dan

"I'm Dan Reynolds"
"And im Adam Plumbtree"
"And welcome to matchday 16 world cup chat presented by OSPN and sponsored by bla bla bla"
"Right..."
"Well lets get down to scores shall we?"
*Meow*
"Oh Plummy we almost forgot!"
"Oh yes thats right, a special guest appearing today from Casari its the mice eating Milo the Cat!"
*Meow*
"Yes thats very interesting Milo"
"SCORES PLUMMY!"
"K"
Group 5:
Anastasiania [3] Vuam and Isma [1]

"We stayed ahead of Anastasiania by one point here, no suprise there"
"Vuama and Isma have been a huge dissapiontment this cup alot of people excpected big things from them"

Northern Caesarea [4] Ancient Byzantine [1]

"Do we need to even say anything here?"
"I think not"
"it would have been nice have Byzantine win but hey, they havent yet and with a GD of -49 (7-56) thats not a streak that may soon be broke"
"we need a Caesarean loss bad"
"No shit Plummy"

Casari [3] Harlesburg [1]

*Meow*
"hey Milo almost forgot you were there"
*Raaarrrrr*
*Milo attacks Plummy viciously
"Aaaaarggg..
"Plummy youre an idiot no one cares you are being mauled by a cat, including me"
"youre nobody?"
"Youre a 4th grader?"
"No"
"well you acted like it with that comment"
"oh right"
"what happened to your face?"
"shuttup Dan"
"Well Casari improves to 14-1-0"
"Sweet Jesus"

The Mice of Miceland [0] Okielahoma [3]

*Meow*
"I think he said, way to show those mice!"
*MEOW*
"Hes happy allright"
"And so is Ollie Molander getting a goal from his keeper position there"
"alright Ollie"
"Who scored the other two?"
"Umm Harris here sliding and putting a nice cross by Morris in"
"and heres Lloyd on a free kick bending one bye"
"We'll we arent mathematically eliminated but we are logically eliminated"
"right you are"

The Islands of Qutar [1] System Karela [1]

"Hey System Kareala scored a goal!"
"Their 9th of the cup"
*Meow*
"Qutar now in danger of falling two third"

"Well thats enough for today we'll leave you with standiings and scorrererrrs"
*Meow*
"Thats Scorers Plummy"
"Shuttup"


Harris 14
Wilson 6
Bateman 3
Lloyd 2
Boatwright 1
Severson 1
Morris 1
Molander 1


---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 15 14 1 0 43-14 +29 43
[2] The Islands of Qutar 15 11 3 1 52-15 +37 36
[3] Northern Caesarea 15 11 1 3 37-16 +21 34
4- Okielahoma 15 7 4 4 29-21 +8 25
5- Anastasiania 15 7 3 5 26-22 +4 24
6- The Mice of Miceland 15 5 2 8 20-26 -6 17
7- Harlesburg 15 3 3 9 17-32 -15 12
8- System Karela 15 3 2 10 9-21 -12 11
9- Vuam and Isma 15 2 4 9 16-33 -17 10
10- Ancient Byzantine 15 0 1 14 7-56 -49 1

Nw-Cm: 5-0. That was just an incredible performance.

Jay-Sn: Well it helps that Sel Appa's basically given up on these qualifiers.

Nw-Cm: Still it was an awesome win.

Jay-Sn: Can you believe that we could qualify with a win over Green Wombat?

Nw-Cm: Unbelievable last time with three matches remaining we were well eliminated.

Jay-Sn: I wish we could be there.

Nw-Cm: So let's go.

Jay-Sn: What?

Nw-Cm: Let's go to the game.

Jay-Sn: We can't.

Nw-Cm: Why not?

Jay-Sn: Well to start with it's in Mil-Bax. That's the other side of the country.

Nw-Cm: So we could always get an overnight train, or hitchhike. Getting there's no problem.

Jay-Sn: Ok then. What about our parents? They'd kill us when they found out.

Nw-Cm: So we tell them we're going camping. They wouldn't check in on us then.

Jay-Sn: On the weekend of spring fling?

Nw-Cm: Do your parents know it's spring fling?

Jay-Sn: Ok, but what about Mary-Lu? She'd be furious if you miss spring fling.

Nw-Cm: So. Let her be furious. This is a chance at Az-cz history. You only get your first qualification for the world cup once. If we make it tomorrow every time after this will be less important.

Jay-Sn: But what about the chance that Tynelia beats Rejistania?

Nw-Cm: Sure that could happen, but it's unlikely and we can still party as if we qualified if we win. We'd be all but oficially there.

Jay-Sn: What about the Schiavonia match? That's in Az-cz city. After schools out. We could go to that.

Nw-Cm: Yeah but either it will be anticlimactic or it will be filled with bad energy. No the Green Wombat match is the one.

Jay-Sn: Ok. Yeah, but where are we gonna get tickets.

Nw-Cm: We'll find tickets. We'll haunt the phones between now and then trying to win free tickets. We'll work odd jobs saving up money for them in case we need to scalp them. We'll get the tickets.

Jay-Sn: Alright. I'm in.

Nw-Cm: Excellent.

Cuation Are Going To Vitla

Well we could be going to the Lowland Clans but Cuation have qualified for the world cup for the first time ever and sit at the top of the table. It is a massive achievement for the team and the manager to have pulled off this upset, they have been consistent and that was the key.

Cuation [2] Becquerelia [0]

A professional performance, after an early corner had to be headed off the line by Butcher, ensured Cuation would grab three points. Not at their best, it was a drab game with two moments of class. The final ball for Becquerelia was sadly lacking all game or they might have shared the spoils.

In the 15th minute, Lewish played a one-two with Fallen that sent him clear on goal. With only the keeper to beat, he stylishly rounded the custodian and stroked the ball into the empty net. Cuation proceeded to sit even further back and allow the frustrated Becquerelia to dominate most of the game.

Dominate all you want but if you can't get chances, you won't win. Cuation sealed the game in the 60th minute, Butcher staying up after a failed attack before a long ball sent him down the left. Cutting inside, he went to the by-line before cutting the ball back for the unmarked Rual Mendiz to side foot into the open net from two yards.

Haraki [0] Cuation [2]


Our only defeat had been at home to these guys, the only time we failed to score in the group so far, a 0-1 defeat. Every year we face one decent team that we can not beat so journalists, not impressed by the past three games, where sharpening their pencils to pile pressure on the manager.

In the first half, Cuation where inept with only a string of saves by Jude Tanner preventing Haraki from getting a deserved lead. The pick of the bunch was a great reflex save from a powerful six yard volley in the 21st minute. At half time, Cuation went off to try and reorganise while the home fans cheered their team off.

In the 46th minute, Butcher brought down the Haraki winger inside the box for a penalty. Lucky not to be sent off, he tested his luck with his protests but the ref was correct to give the penalty. Jude Tanner spread himself to his left and managed to get a leg to the ball as it was played down the middle, getting a fortune but inventive save.

This had a marked effect as Irwin cleared the ball, the Haraki player’s heads went down as it seemed luck had deserted them. Cuation on the other hand became harder to break down and fought their way into the match. If anyone had any feeling that the Footballing Gods favoured Cuation today, the first goal on the 70th minute added to it.

Downing's cross was no real danger as Lu Fei was forced to stretch to head it into the penalty area. As Rual raced to get it, he looked like he was going to be beaten to it by the keeper until the number 1 slipped. Mendiz's volley was poor, crashing off the cross bar and over the line of the back of the keeper.

Downing was replaced by Speedy who finished the game in the 88th minute, a fine Fallen ball releasing the winger to run at the defence. Unchallenged, he made his way to the edge of the area before driving in a low effort past the exposed keeper.

Cuation [3] New Montreal States [2]


NMS became the first team to score more then one goal against Cuation this year but there defence looked more then a little creaky and some people are questioning the away team spirit. When Vyacheslav Kamchatski rolled the ball to Lu Fei , Cuation took an early shock lead as the striker gobbled up the gift.

Poor marking in the 23rd minute allowed a free kick from the half way line to be a danger, Downing's fligthed ball allowed to reach the unmarked Cole who showed a surprisingly assured finish from a tight angle to send the Cuation fans wild.

Darcy pulled a goal back before half time, allowed too much room, his shot wrong footed the otherwise solid Jude and crept in. Cuation bunkered down in their own half from that 34th minute goal to see out the half at 2-1 up.

After one NMS move broke down in the second half as Scott flicked it to Fallen, the playmaker sending the ball out wide for Fallen. With sixty minute played, it was the first time that winger got forward. Rather then wait for support, the winger tried a shot that Vyacheslav Kamchatski could have done better then to push out into the six yard box. Lu Fei just managed to get enough of a touch to flick into the net.

Labranche made the game into a fight with a great drive from 76th minute but other then Jude punching away a weak header from Corcoran, Cuation didn't look like conceding.

Commerce Heights JSY [1] Cuation [1]

An embarrassing draw that left the manager fuming after Cuation crumbled under late pressure, a lack of fitness obvious, perhaps to do with the rumoured qualifying parties. An 11th minute cushioned header after a Downing cross found Mendiz running across the six yard box gave Cuation the lead.

The home team where not much threat in the first half but dealt with Cuation well so the lead wasn't built on. In the second half, JSY gained the momentum as Cuation looked exhausted, even subs Scott, Speedy and Keane didn't seem fit.

Jude Tanner was untested until the 70th minute, when some good passing football gave Erik Aiglstorfer sight of goal just inside the area. The shot was hard and low but straight at the keeper who was slow to move, allowing the ball to go through his legs.

JSY thought they had taken the lead in the 80th minute when Νίκος Νικολαΐδης (thank you to the embassy for teaching me how to write that name) cross was missed by Jude with Tino Englert heading home. The home fans could not believe it when the linesman gave offside.

An injury time error by Cheese again seemed to throw the match away, his weak header back finding the experienced ʼWon Sūg-gyo, the crisp volley past Jude was ruled out for handball. The striker had clearly controlled the ball on his chest but the ref, Crowley, said otherwise. Rumours of bribery during a break in play have strongly been denied by the Cuation Fa.

Vilitan Media Tycoon Exposed!

Scandalous behaviors lead to vengeful denigration of journalistic institution

CROSAIBI (VILITA), NEW MONTREAL, MONCTON SANDS - After widespread bewilderment and cries of foul play after the release of the now-infamous Vilitan "media rankings" which slighted the Presse-Journal Devoir, a crack team of investigative reporters have managed to puzzle out the cause for the heretofore inexplicable negative ratings of the Montrealais press. It is now our privilege to publish this shocking chronicle of high-level editorial misdeeds over the oceans in the jungles of AO. This is a story that has everything to it: sex, drugs, streakers, nuns, and yes, even a little bit of Elvis impersonation. Once again, it can be blamed on Marc Tessier's bad karma, if one is so inclined.

In the beginning

We start at the joint Kingdom of the Midlands/Atlantean Oceania conference of the international brotherhood and sisterhood of streakers, hosted in Moncton Sands four years ago, as the streakers met to compare notes on football stadia security in the leadup to the World Cup in a nation in which such things are perfectly legal. Mr. Oniaaea Liaatani, a high-level figure in the Vilitan media, is in attendance, along with then-cub reporter Miriam St-Claire, a young and shaply 23, fresh out of the renowned Mantoine College of Journalism in Nouveau-Brossard. Mr. Liaatani, smitten by Mme. St-Claire's copious knowledge of the field of streaking as well as (of course) her vivacious personality, attempted to woo her by trying a little streaking himself, beneath the hotel in which Mme. St-Claire was staying. Regrettably, the entire incident, which we are sure was meant as nothing more than a light-hearted prank, was ruined by the presence of a group of nuns from a convent in rural Outer Bigtopia, in attendance at separate conference, who were also staying at the hotel and had elected at that moment, to step out and take some air. Mr. Liaatani collided with two of these while looking up at Mme. St-Claire's window and attempting to attract her attention. After the collision, a brief scrum ensued on the sidewalk in front of the building, ending with five of the nuns being taken to the hospital for shock after fainting and Mr. Liaatani being booked for disorderly conduct. He has not yet paid the fine, or the treatment bills for the nuns. The nuns have forgiven him, being good Christians, but Mr. Liaatani still owes the city of Moncton Sands 550 Ounces of Marijuana (Ø) with an additional Ø750 in interest and tardiness payments tacked on for good measure. This entire case is in the public record, filed in Moncton Sands City Court as City v. Liaatani, case no. 107843DC-SLP.

While this unfortunate melee was unfolding below, Mme. St-Claire descended from her third-story room to see the events from a closer perspective, as well as to write a human-interest story. Mr. Marc Tessier, a midfielder for both the Moncton Sands Coyotes as well as the Paladins, was also in the area at the time, and began speaking with Mme. St-Claire, eventually taking her out to lunch and dating her for a seven-month span from the date of the incident, despite also being involved with two other women at the time. Regardless of the eventual result, the sight of Mr. Tessier chatting up the woman Mr. Liaatani had come to impress as he was being lead to the squad car in a police trenchcoat undoubtedly left him with a bad taste in the mouth.

A most ungentlemanly welcome

We now fast-forward one year, to a tour of Atlantean Oceania by the Coyotes, with their first friendly scheduled in Vilita. Mme. St-Claire is accompanying the side, with Mr. Tessier not on the tour due to his national-team commitment. Both her and Mr. Liaatani are in attendance at a welcoming reception the night of the team's arrival in Crosaibi, the location of the first match to be played. Mr. Liaatani, on the second floor of the reception hall, is leaning over the railing as Mme. St-Claire is walking through the lobby in a stylishly low-cut black cocktail dress. Mr. Liaatani had been drinking that night, however, and his balance was not of the finest. He toppled down over the rail, smashing into a valuable crystal chandelier, inflicting heavy damage on his way down, and slamming into the ground at Mme. St-Claire's feet. As she turned away in disgust, a scandalized hotel manager quickly ejected Mr. Liaatani.

An affray at the group draw

The final event on this tournée de cauchemar took place at the draw for the World Cup 31 qualification groups. At the post-match reception, Mme. St-Claire, by now the head of coverage of the Paladins at the Presse-Journal Devoir, was speaking to Mr. Tessier, dressed as Elvis Presley as a result of losing a bet with fellow national midfielder Petr Hunyadi, over drinks. Mr. Liaatani, sensing the opportunity to present himself as a gallant gentlemen ridding a women of unwanted male attention from a former lover, discreetly sidled over to him and "tripped," spilling his drink on Mr. Tessier in the hope of forcing him to retire to change his clothing. However, before doing so, an outraged Mr. Tessier applied a maneuver commonly known as "The People's Elbow" to the intruding Mr. Liaatani, knocking him facefirst into the punch bowl before leaving the reception for his hotel. Mr. Tessier than contacted Mr. Liaatani's office, demanding restitution for the costume, but never receive a reply to his queries. He declined to pursue the matter further, citing expense and time issues relative to the value of the suit, but expressed his displeasure with Mr. Liaatani's failure to pay for the accident in the manner of a true gentleman. It is worth noting that Mme. St-Claire left the reception alongside Mr. Tessier, apparently impressed with his fighting spirit, and they are now reported to be seeing each other again.

This was obviously the last straw for Mr. Liaatani. Outwitted by Mr. Tessier at every turn, and having suffered a complete loss of dignity while pursuing the charming Mme. St. Clair, he began to use his influence throughout the entire spectrum of the Vilitan media to lauch a smear campaign against both the Paladins and the Presse-Journal Devoir/. His "media ratings" having made the Presse-Journal Devoir appear inferior to other publications, although these publications are on the same level as the slandered paper. We are sure that the Paladins will be subjected to the same kind of shameful treatment at the hands of the Vilitan press upon the start of the World Cup proper.

Citation

This report drew on a variety of sources, including interviews with Mr. Tessier, Mme. St. Clair, and Sister Helene, who was one of the nuns sent to the hospital as a result of the distasteful incident in Moncton Sands. Mr. Liaatani declined all comment. This report also draws on police blotters, court records, and old news items. For a comprehensive list of sources used, please visit pressejournaldevoir.com/liaatani/sources.html.

News items from the Rodger River Examiner.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/examiner2.gif

REDRIDER GANG BANISHED

The keenly awaited decision on the fate of the surviving members of the redrider gang was finally handed down yesterday under OALUSH'N, the sacred tree here in Rodger River. Among the charges brought against them were:

- trafficking in a dead animal product, ie wolfskin coat
- conveying oneself in a banned item, ie motorcycle
- eating a protected species over a campfire, ie a potoroo
- shooting humi, international footballer, in a part of her body, ie the foot
- sawing branches off a revered object, ie a tree
- destroying a place of abode, ie a house in a tree
- stealing a dangerous item, ie a giant two headed leech, from a public institution, ie a university
- conspiring to release a dangerous item, ie a giant two headed leech, at a public gathering, ie a World Cup qualifying match

Magistrate orshi drew particular attention to the most heinous of the crimes, eating potoroos over a campfire and damaging trees, but noted that the four accused had turned themselves in, met the direction to attend this hearing and had shown considerable remorse. “I am convinced that the four were deluded by redrider’s beliefs in a consumer society and now have occasion to rue those sentiments. It seems they were carried away by the romance of dissent. Errinundera is a nation of dissenters so their actions are understandable. But potoroos and trees?”

The four gang members, arsto, oldrewu, tarligh and torefiel, were sentenced to 5 years banishment from Errinundera, bringing gasps from those present. This is the heaviest sentence handed down by a magistrate in over 30 years. Grief-stricken family and friends of the sentenced have been left wondering how the gang members will cope with being separated from the forest for so long. The ashen-faced four are currently making travel arrangements to the ironfist consumerist nation of Patusan who, it is understood, will accept them. redrider had espoused a belief in enforced consumerism so many agree that Patusan is an apt abode for the four.

RISA-ARAMOUR MYSTERY – MASS AMNESIA STRIKES TEAM

Apparently the national football team visited a country called Risa-Aramour and apparently scored a 1-all draw. Apparently silvu scored a goal. We use the word “apparently” advisedly and repeatedly because no-one remembers the trip or the match. We are relying on information from the organisers of the current World Cup, Vilita and The Lowland Clans.

“ViLC say I scored a goal,” says recently appointed captain, silvu, “but I have no recollection whatsoever. I can’t even find any information about Risa-Aramour. It’s as if they suddenly stopped existing.”

We asked mass-psychologists from the University of Rodger River about the phenomenon. All 245 of them agreed that such a thing was possible. “People who suffer severe trauma together sometimes share denial of the events, “ said one of the experts who was indistinguishable from the rest. "Something truly ghastly must have happened in Risa-Aramour.” What this trauma was is anybody’s guess.

B TRIPLE R NO LONGER IN MIDDLE OF RIVER

Following a dry spell in recent weeks the water levels of the Bemm River have fallen so low fans don’t need to use skywalks to reach the local football stadium, the B Triple R. Gleeful fans can simply walk up to western side of the stadium. Unfortunately there are no entrances at water level, or ground level to put it in more contemporary terms. Children from Bemm River have been having a wonderful time building cairns from the exposed river pebbles. These events have caused no hindrance to the holding of the recent World Cup qualifying match against Reanimated States.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/River3.jpg
The B Triple R in happier, wetter days.

POTOROOS ON COURSE TO QUALIFY

2-nil victories against the United Island Empires (away) and Reanimated States (home) have put the national team in a good position to qualify for World Cup 31. In the first match addicksonia (12) and venu (18) continued an Errinundrian habit of scoring early and in quick succession. In the second rosaniel underlined a sensational game by scoring in the 12th and 36th minutes.

“We seem to have finally put the departure of blackwoo behind us,” says an excited captain, silvu. “Our remaining three games are all at home. The first is against 44th seed Anathematic Republics who have not been playing very committed football all qualifying series. I think their rating is based on their past reputation. The next after that is against the #2 seed and currrent world champions, Bedistan. I reckon the B.C.G will be packed to the rafters for that match. We aim to give a good account of ourselves. The final match is against Backwardistan whom we beat when we played them away. With a 5 point buffer over 4th placed Nedalia we are confident we can qualify. But, really, it’s entirely up to us.”

Norman Hacker groaned as the World Cup highlights turned to group 9. A 3-1 defeat meant that the Swifts were definitely out of the World Cup; even a win would not have sufficed given the performances elsewhere.

But he was even more upset when the presenters looked a bit more in depth.

"Yet again in a World Cup Wentland has under-achieved. They came into their group as fourth seed, with an outside chance of qualification, but already with three games to go they are guaranteed to miss out and are almost certain to finish a lowly sixth. That should see them plummet out of the top 40 and even the top 50."

"Where has the rot set in, Geoff?"

"It's difficult to say. Apart from one freak qualification Wentland has never looked close to qualifying and they have failed to match seeding practically every time. A nadir was reached at the last Cup of Harmony when they went into the tournament seeded third and were knocked out in the group stages by teams that were, on paper, far inferior."

"Instability in management?"

Hacker growled.

"That can't help. Previous boss Barnes upset a lot by favouring his club but I understand many people want him back - Barnes' team Crowhurst walked to the title again this year and yet their players have not featured in the World Cup."

Hacker snorted.

"There could be something deeper, though. Look at the fourth seeds in this World Cup and see how they are doing..."

A graphic flashed on screen.

[1] Qazox 15 9 5 1 38-18 +20 32 2
[2] Anathematic Republics 15 4 4 7 25-32 -7 16 7
[3] Tynelia 15 8 3 4 21-16 +5 27 5
[4] Dorian and Sonya 15 4 3 8 24-25 -1 15 7
[5] Vuam and Isma 15 2 4 9 16-33 -17 10 9
[6] Haraki 15 5 2 8 22-24 -2 17 7
[7] Magnus Valerius 15 8 2 5 24-23 +1 26 5
[8] Yafor 2 15 3 3 9 17-31 -14 12 8
[9] Wentland 15 6 3 6 28-25 +3 21 6
10] Spaamanian Plijous 15 5 2 8 21-28 -7 17 7

"With the exception of Qazox, all of the fourth seeds are pretty much out and well below their ranking expectation. It seems as if there is a curse on them. Particularly with teams like Vuan and Isma, who have proved able in the past, but are currently being destroyed."

"And that makes Wentland doubly unlucky?"

"Yes. Had it not been for their early Cup of Harmony exit they would have been given a third seed, which would have made things a lot easier - only one of them is definitely out, the fast-declining D2R. And given Chicanada's vanishing another group is going to have a freak qualifier."

"How about the quality of the group?"

"It is fair to say that Group 9 has seen the highest quality play. The Archregimancy's fluid positional changes, which mean that players are almost without a role, anyone taking up anyone else's position, has seen them go unbeaten. Squornshelous have done their usual quiet and effective job, Tessan have come out like a bull at a gate and have gung-hoed their way into a qualification and Spaam, despite technical difficulties, have shown the form that has taken them to finals before."

"So you are saying Wentland are a victim of circumstances?"

"Perhaps. The draw has not been kind. Group 10 has been afflicted by almost total apathy and many teams are looking enviously on the progress Turori have made over opponents who have barely turned up. Group 7 has only three teams eager to get to the finals and Errinundera's run to almost certain qualification has been eased by the absence of any real opposition outside the top seeds."

"The question is can Wentland pick themselves back up for the Cup of Harmony?"

"Well, it is possible. They were expected to do well in qualification but blew it royally. With no expectations, no level of achievement, maybe for once they can do better? Let's face it, they could not do much worse..."

As the presenters laughed somewhere in Wentland was heard the sound of a foot going through the screen.

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

Into the Lion's Den

Page 1:
Panel 1:

SuperDude was flying through the air, the panel was from the perspective of the ground, or near to it where, people where looking up at SuperDude and saying. "Oh, look. It's SuperDude." and various other such expresions including but not limited to "I hope he finds the World Cup Trophy." The exact city that this panel is meant to represent is ambiguous. Other people where in fact peering out of the sky-scrapers nearby. Even the Country is fairly uncertain but you would probably assume Bazalonia and would be just as right if you guessed pretty much any other country in the world cup, well, except for the mice.

Panel 2:

Infotext "5 minutes later..." was at the bottom of the panel and SuperDude was just setting down infront of what could only be assumed to be the Ides of March Industrial complex. "Are we ready?" asked SuperDude to the assembled crowd of miscelaneous super heroes including SuperTux, SuperMonk, SuperClaymore and the still small SuperMouse currently on SuperClaymores out streched hand. The Industrial complex was bleak and a medium gray. The dual steel doors where a dark gret colour. The rest of the super heroes muttered in agreement "Yes." "Hey has anyone seen SuperGnome?"... "Not recently".."Oh, Okay. Time is of the essence let's head inside." finished SuperDude

Panel 3:

SuperDude punched through the door and was making his entrance into the building, SuperClaymore was making his way through thw wall of the complex, luckily SuperMouse was no longer in his hands but were climbing into some sort of pipe. SuperTux and SuperMonk were following SuperDude and SuperClaymore respectively. It certainly seemed to be happening very fast.

Page 2:
Panel 4:

On the inside it looked vert bare despite the pipes that where running everywhere, the ceiling was almost chock full of them. The 4 SuperHeroes, SuperDude, SuperTux, SuperMonk and SuperClaymore where standing around surveying the scene there was a door to the left and one straight ahead. It indeed gave all appearances of being long abandoned but it where the small things. "No Dust... Smells like trout" said SuperTux as he sniffed around. SuperMonk had his eyes closed in quiet prayerful meditation. SuperClaymore had his gigantic sword out should they need to fight and SuperDude was using his X-ray vision. For some reason it could not penetrate the walls or ground.

Panel 5:

There was a rumble to the left, "We've been noticed..." stated SuperDude as it was any sort of surprise with the type of entry they had made. The Left wall, near the door was being knocked down by something coming through the wall. Whatever was knocking the wall down was making the rumble. The 4 SuperHeroes had fanned out in expectation of a not so nice encounter with whatever it was that was coming from behind the wall.

Panel 6:

The thing had broken through the wall, it was a machine almost 2 times larger than SuperClaymore, lucky that the ceiling in this industrial centre was indeed very high. It was a robot of sorts, looking roughlgh humanoid with pads on what you wold call his feet and some sort of cannon for one hand and a laser gun on the other. "Scatter!" exclaimed SuperDude as it started firing the laser at the dispersing SuperHeroes each trying to work out what they should do next.

Page 3:
Panel 7:

SuperMonk was attracting it's attention through his amazing acrobatics display, despite being in a full robe He was extremely agile. The Monk was quoting various scriptures at the mechanical beast, firey brimstone type passages that describe what happen to those that are lost obviously refering to the mechanical monstrosity infront of him. The machine groaned as it brought it's cannon to bare on SuperMonk. SuperTux was Karelising the machine but it did not seem to be working properly. SuperDude and SuperClaymore could not be seen in this panel.

Panel 8:

A smaller panel where it seemed both SuperDude and SuperClaymore had grabed one of the machines "arms". They where attempting to pull the arms off the machines to disable it. However SuperDude noticed a small sticker on the outside of the machine's Chasis "Shielded From Karela" was written on it. The Machine made cracking noises as the arms of it started to get ripped off the their sockets.

Panel 9:

"Got it?" asked SuperDude "Yes" replied "On 3... 1... 2... 3!" said SuperDude as the combined force of SuperDude and SuperClaymore launched the machine up into the air.

Panel 10:

This was from a perspective in space the remnants of the machine including it's arms where seen floating in space with the sun in the background. The NSEarth and a few sattelites could also be seen. Info text at the bottom of this panel contained the words.. "SuperDude and SuperClaymore applied so much force to the machine that it was launched out of NSEarth's atmosphere, even it's orbit where it floated in space ever coming closer to the extreme temperature of the sun where it will come to it's fiery depth.

Page 4:
Panels 11 - 12:

A Whoosh sound was made as a Cylinder about 2 metres in diameter rose in the centre of the room, having not noticed anything that looked like it could do that the Cylinder was quite a big shock to the 4 SuperHeroes who where spread around it in a square like "What the?" exclaimed SuperDude and SuperTux said "Squeak!*" The Raised Cylinder split into 2 hald cylinders one when one way and the other went a different way but both where still connected together at the tip. The Cylinder revealed SuperMouse in his enlargened form. "Hello" he said with what could only be described as a mousey grin. Also some info text displaying "* An expression of surprise in Tuxish"

Panel 13:

"Come down, this way. I have found him." said SuperMouse as he once again dissappeared down the hole and back to his smaller (and normal) size once again. The four other Super Heroes followed SuperMouse by entering the tunnel. "Underground, you did predict that SuperDude." commented SuperClaymore as he was struggling to get into the hole. "I just wish he made it slightly bigger." SuperClaymore added.

Panel 14:

The 5 SuperHeroes lead by SuperMouse followed by SuperDude, SuperClaymore strugling to crouch down and not hit his head on anything, SuperMonk followed by SuperTux descended down a long flight of stairs going deeper and deeper into the earth. The Panel displayed a side view with the 5 Superheroes and the stairs but it also included some of NSearth's greatest Mysteries, including the so called "Ark of the Covenent" which had been missing for so long buried and in the ground just outside the exterior wall/whatever to this underground stairway.

Page 5:
Panel 15:

This Panel opened up to the elaborate underground lair of the Golden Lion, Golden Lion Statues could be seen everywhere along with the most obscure and obtuse equipment including vats of some sort of liquid, various computer and other extremely technical including what is assumed to be a teleporting device. Based on the principle that you can swap matter for other matter. Up ahead you could see an opening with Louise strapped to a table or something akin to that however it is upright.

Panel 16:

The four superHeroes, once again SuperMouse is nowhere to be seen have entered the room where Louise was, infact she was not the only inhabitant the 4 soccer players from the 4 nations where also there strapped down and just seemed to be stirring from a deep sleep. Louise was about the speak, in fact she started "Sup..." she said before she was interuptted by the wracking pain of electric shock. A voice spoke out from somewhere outside the Panel. "Welcome to my LAir!. It's about time you got here." said the voice.

Panel 17:

All 4 superheroes looked around, only SuperDude had a look of shock on his face for he knew the person who became The Golden Lion. "It was you!" he exlaimed.

Page 6:

Panel 18:

"BC Comics in association with the BFSA would like to congratulate the Bazalopes for qualifying for the World Cup with three matches still to go. The latest result being a draw with Risa-Armour. In celebration of this fact DC Comics are running competition. This will run to the end of World cup Qualifing. The prize is suplied by the BFSA and BazAir. The winners of this competition will win tickets to see every single Bazalope match in the World Cup including group and any Knock out matches, Rooms at internationally recognised hotels for the duration and tickets, curtesy of BazAir, to the appropriate host nation and back. This competition is open to all readers of this comic and all you have to do is send a new concept for a Super Hero. The successful applicant's entry will be turned into a new comic series as well. Please send your concept on 1 A4 piece of paper formated using 12pt, 1.5 line spacing to BC Comics P.O.Box 252 Drago, Bazalonia, 2652

Good Luck
"

OOC: If you want to you can submit a concept with a person behind it to me or in this RP thread or via other methods if you do however I reserve the right to use the person behind the RP (plus other stuff) in my WC RP's. If no international entries are made it will just be a Bazalonian entry that wins but I want to hear your ideas.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

"Bah the team won, now they are within two points of qualifying! I need them too lose! I need some revenge!" Hector Dixon said. Then, there was a loud knock on his door.

"Sir, would you please open the door?" a voice said.

"Who is it?" Dixon asked

"Sir, just please open the door." the voice said.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming." Dixon said. He walked to the door and opened it. As soon as he opened it, he was swarmed by a SWAT team, and arrested. "What is this for?! What did I do?!" Dixon screamed.

"Sir, your secretary told us what you pulled. That happens to be against the law. You have the right to remain silent." The officer said. He spilled on about his rights.

"I didn't do anything!. All I did was paid a player money!." Dixon screamed.

"No you didn't, all you did was threaten his family sir." The officer replied.

"I did not, this is bull! I didn't do anything illegal! I just wanted revenge. No one forced anyone to do anything! I didn't do anything." Dixon yelled. Just as he had finished his mini temper tantrum his wife walked in.

"You son of a bitch, how could you do such a thing?! You slept with your secretary, and then you threaten a man, and his family just to get some revenge, on the national soccer coach. That soccer team is the best thing in this nation, and you go and try to ruin it! What the hell is the matter with you!" his wife screamed. The phone then rang.

"Hi this is Hector Dixon's office can I help you?" the secretary asked. "Alright, just one moment Mr. Hughes." she added. "He wants to talk to Dixon." she finished.

"OK, Dixon, you got five minutes." the lead officer said.

"Hello Greg?" Dixon said.

"Hey Hector, I hear you have a problem with me and my team." Hughes replied.

"Ya, I do, you took my spot on the team back in the day, now you get all the glory, and I'm stuck in a dead-end job. I got nothing." Dixon said.

"Well, that doesn't mean you have to be a total idiot and hinder my team's chances at a world cup, and to think I was going to offer you a job as the assistant coach. O well, your in jail now, guess I can't do that." Hughes said.

"But, I, though, but, ugh! Whatever, at least I succeeded, there is no way your team can catch up." Dixon said

"Oh, just you wait, although it might be past your bedtime. I got to go." Hughes said. After that, he hung up the phone to get to the game vs Eseck. Dixon was put into the back of a cop car and put in jail.

The Orange-Blues celebrated the traditional carnival after this matchday. Rejistanian carnival is never on a fixed date. Rejistanian carnival is whenever the Orange-Blues safely secured qualification. In years without a chance to qualify, the Hdeaja celebration often dissolves into this sort of spontaneous celebration, typical for the Kanvali-day. The only hing more special than seeing a kanvali-day is being the cause for such a celebration. For a rather big group of players, who months ago would not have imagined that, this became reality: thier performance brought the Orange-Blues from the cellar of the table (nearly) back to where they belong. The match against Dance2Revolution was no disgrace like the matches in the beginning were. The Orange-Blues had some good chances.

Meanwhile, our favorite mad scientist chose to celebrate the kanvali with the rest of the nation... well not the entire rest since some thieves apparently preferd to bread into his house and steal his stuff..

Trevor Hynes liked to fashion himself as an "investigative reporter." Even if most of the time he wrote widely-ignored stories deep inside the Blue Union. But for a long time, he had one particular target in mind. It wasn't even the government. In fact, this group probably had even more power.

And, considering this is the World Cup Roleplay thread, who would it be other than the Casari Soccer Authority? But for him, one question stood out- How do they get their money?

All the economic reports listed the CSA as a "fiscally responsible" non-profit sporting organization that skimmed just enough off entry fees and advertising deals to keep itself afloat. But Hynes was bothered by one thing- it could never bring in enough money to pay everyone involved in running the bloated, excessive body in charge of Casaran Soccer. Referees, Secretaries, Organizers... there just wasn't enough money.

Hynes jumped as his phone rang. Looking around, he picked up the reciever.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is... Trevor Hynes, correct?"

"Yes, it is. Who, may I ask, is speaking?"

"This is Edward Scott, at the Ministry of Finance. I'm calling in response to your inquiries about the CSA?"

"Yes, I had some questions about the budget-"

"Yes, we've read your inquiry. We don't have much on the CSA, of course, being a non-profit and all, but we do have some yearly financial reports. I could fax them to you, if you'd like."

"I'd appreciate that." Hynes said, giving out the fax number. Hanging up, he began the walk to the fax machine and scoped out a chair nearby, waiting for the paper to spit out. It quickly did, and when he saw the paper at first glance, he knew something was up.

It was no less than seventeen pages into the financial report, but there was the one thing he was looking for.

---=--=---

Allied Holdings Corporation kept in their pocket hit most every corner of the sport. A 29% stake in Hydra Sport, 9% in the CasariMedia Group, 14% in the Ashford Observer, 7% in the Shelby Telegraph, 6.4% of Sukhoi Heavy Manufacturing, shares of five different radio stations, 9 soccer teams, 24.5% of Williams Venue and Event, 22% of Resian Arms- the list was long and a of a pretty solid theme. While companies who spent most of their time buying and selling parts of other companies was nothing special, the list was a bit frightening.

Of course, the head of the Board of Directors could be the most frightening of all.

Wilson Graham.

Head-of-the-CSA Wilson Graham.

---=--=---

"Look, just because he's got money and his the head of the CSA is no reason to go after the CSA all day and night." Hynes's editor said, looking over sheet after sheet of information.

"Why not?" Trevor asked, sitting on the other side of the editor's desk.

"Because with this much money, they wouldn't mind having us killed where we sit. It'd be a good story, I'll give you that. It seems there's waytoo many coincidences in there to be entirely chance. But we need more. A charitable donation from a company deeply involved in the sport isn't quite enough."

'Yes sir." Trevor said, standing up, looking a little defeated.

"Don't give up, Hynes. There's something there. You just need to figure it out and think it through. And for gods sake, don't leak the prospect of a story to anyone. They own newspapers, Graham would hear about it, and we'd be well and truly boned."

Trevor Hynes got up and walked out of the editor's office. Where the hell would he look now?

Nw-Cm: Man. The stadium is bouncing. I can't believe it's already full and the game hasn't even started yet.

Jay-Sn: Yeah, but the Tynelia match is being broadcast live before hand. Everyone in the stadium will know if we're truly playing for qualification or not before the game starts.

Nw-Cm: Did you see some of the stuff going on outside?

Jay-Sn: Yeah unbelievable. The number of people painted green from head to toe was pretty outstanding.

Nw-Cm: And the league of dancing doom bugs was pretty incredible.

Jay-Sn: For sure.

Nw-Cm: And all the vendors incredible.

Jay-Sn: But what really got me were the signs pointing to the Anarchy Zone - Creativity Zone. What a great country.

Nw-Cm: Yeah to prepare both an area to riot and an area to creat sponatneous art, is just brilliant. My question is what will be people do if we lose.

Jay-Sn: Let's just hope we don't find out.

Nw-Cm: Agreed. I'm freaking excited.

Jay-Sn: You feeling tired at all?

Nw-Cm: Nah, I got some sleep in the back of dudes truck. And andrenaline's gonna carry me the rest of the way.

Jay-Sn: Yeah I hope so. I can't wait.

Nw-Cm: Whoa, the Tynelia games starting.

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

DRAW WITH MARCEAU STATE ENDS QUALIFYING HOPES
Coach Punches Reporter, Looks Forward to Cup of Harmony

By Anna Comneno


A disappointing 1-1 draw with Marceau State last night officially ended the Holy Empire's attempt to qualify for the World Cup for the first time since World Cup 4, but Holy Empire Football Association officials nonetheless pronounced themselves 'pleased' at the squad's efforts in the nation's first entirely serious qualification campaign since World Cup 7.

"Look, Alasdairopolis wasn't built in a day... except it was, of course, through the munificent dreams of the Basileus... but why spoil a good metaphor? But what I'm trying to say in an extraordinarily roundabout why, with any number of rambling digressions, such as the present one, is that we have a long, slow road ahead of us if we're to regain footballing respectability .... what's that? Quakmybush? Yes, of course I'm aware of how rapidly they rose through the ranks, but you don't take them any more seriously than I do, do you? But as I was saying..." said a senior HEFA official, before the podium collapsed, killing both himself and half of the assembled reporters (see the front page story "FREAK ACCIDENT KILLS UNPOPULAR LONG-WINDED FOOTBALL OFFICIAL").

When questioned by this reporter, coach Juan Tzimisces punched me in the jaw in retaliation for my previous stories calling for his sacking, proclaiming his attack on a defenceless woman to be a "mighty victory for gender equality" before allowing that he was looking forward to the forthcoming Cup of Harmony - "Provided, of course, that we're invited".

Draw Against System Karela!
Davies criticised for fielding second rate team

Yes as most of you know by now unless you are reading this off the wrapping of your Fish and Chips, is that we could only manage a draw against System Karela and worst of all it was not a no-score draw. With Davies resting all the big names, System Karela scored an early goal after a corner caused confusion in the Qutari box and the ball ended up in the back of the net, video footage showing the final touch was the knee of Andreas Pfeffer. And with System Karela defending with religious devotion, things were looking almost dangerous until in the 71st minute Bailey rescused the team by slotting home the equaliser but the team were unable to get that elusive winning goal.

Davies in the press conference defended his position by stating that we had already qualified and that the first team needed a rest with a demanding domestic league schedule and a tight qualifying schedule the players deserved a break, he said that the team would be the same starting lineup for the game against Okielahoma.

- Matchday 16 RP Cutoff -


MD 16 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11899476&postcount=17)

The Daily Quak
Sharks Draw, Chances Dwindle

The Quakmybush National Soccer Team has been attempting to qualify for World Cup 31. The team has been playing very disappointing. With scandals about government officials wanting the team to lose along with bad reffing. The team has not had any of the luck it used to. The team recently tied Eseck 2-2. This was a very disappointing loss as Eseck is ranked very much below Quakmybush. Jon Fields scored in the 56th minute, while Cory Sorley scored in the 62nd. Then in the last 30 minutes the team decided to crumble. The score ended up 2-2. This is not the result the team was looking for. Had the team won they would be at least tied for third instead of being fourth and two points back. It doesn't get much easier for the Sharks. Their next opponent is against Assegai Developments, this match should be a win. Then they finish out the qualifying at home vs the world number 1, Starblaydia. This match may have to be a win for the Sharks or qualification may not happen. The Sharks compition is those crazy penguins from Raging Penguins. The Raging Penguins have an easier schedule then the Sharks do, but you never know. The Penguins first will take on Nikea at home and then face Spindomia on the road.

The Sharks will have to win both of their remaining games for any chance of qualification. If the Sharks don't qualify it will be the first time in the nations history that they have not qualified. "Yes, it would be very disappointing" Coach Greg Hughes said. "It would be a huge let down to the whole nation, every single person loves this soccer team, it would just be bad. I know we can do it though, we have done it twice before, what's different this time?" Hughes said.

"I feel like I've let my team down." star player Jon Fields said. "I haven't been playing as well as I should have, and it feels like it's on my shoulders." he said. Well, cheer on the Sharks from your T.V sets, they are going to need it.

QAZOXIAN TIMES

NO BULL!!! QAZOX GOING TO WORLD CUP!!!

Thanks to a 2-2 draw between Eseck and Quakmybush, Qazox will be going to the World Cup for the 1st time ever after 4 previous failures to qualify. The Black Oxen looked tired and worn down after so many matches, but with 20 minutes remaining in their game against Nikea, the scoreboard flashed the previously mentioned draw and Qazox knew they had to win somehow.

Head Coach Reggie Hassok, either by design or accident, left off both Nelson Macgillivray and Rene LaTreque and started in a 3-3-3-1 formation. The seeming costly mistake allowed Nikea to control the ball much more tahn the Black Oxen would have liked, but thanks to some great goalkeeping by Juila Kidd, teh 1st half ended scoreless.

At Halftime Hassok, realised his mistake but subbed in Regina Reginald and Kyle Horton and kept Nelson and Rene off, most likely to save them for the last two games. Just before the teams came out, the crowd let loose a loud groan as the ASMV-Raging Pengiuns score was shown, which ended in a 2-2 tie. Now Qazox was only 2 pts ahead of the Penguins, who still had a chance to overtake the Black Oxen.

Nikea took full advantage of the quieted crowd, and until the fateful moment of the scoreboard showing the 2-2 draw between Eseck and Quakmybush, they looked ready to pull of the upset, delaying the chance to qualify.

Once that score was shown, Kyle Horton somehow found the ball on his foot and just a few seconds later, The crowd began to chant and scream as Qazox had a 1-0 lead in the 71st minute. The last minutes began to slow as the time began to run out on Nikea's attempt to tie the match.. 15 minutes.. 10 minutes.. 5 minutes.. 3 minutes. As the final second ticked off the clock, and the referee's whistle began to blow, a roar from seemingly the enitre country filled the air.

QAZOX IS IN THE CUP!!!!! was repeated countless times as fans ran onto the field to take pieces of turf, players ran into the stands hugging wifes, husbands, children, parents. Though the choatic scene, one image stood firm in this reporters mind: an older gentleman sitting right next to me right behind the Qazox bench, crying his eyes out and leaning over to his wife, who was equally crying her eyes out. The man then asked his wife, "So just where is Vilita anyway??"

DOWNLOADING DAY SIXTEEN SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY SIXTEEN SCORE- AZ-CZ 1-GREEN WOMBAT 0

GOALS: AZ-CZ: Stanleyinho: 85TH MINUTE


GAME SUMMARY: Az-cz used a late goal to end Green Wombat's attempt at World Cup qualifaction. The FZW will participate in the Cup of Harmony, and try to win there instead. Next match is against Dance 2 Revolution, as the FZW will try to finish in 4th place.

(ooc to Qazox: about damn time... took ya long enough.. Next time Me i guess)

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: Its just about over as Commerce Heights slaps down the Stoners 4-1, leaving them 5 points back with only 2 matches left. To qualify, both Demot and Elves Security Forces need to lose each of their final 2 matches, while the Stoners, who haven't won since Trent Rauda's untimely passing, need to win their last two. The Stoners still could qualify if either Demot or EXF draw one of thier remaining games, but most likely will be out due to Goal Differential.

What had started as a great qualfing run, is now just another seeming failure. Excuses will abound, but one can only wonder, how Sativaville might have faired without Trent Rauda's death. Sadly, we will never know.

Up next for the Stoners is a match against Dj8989, whom we have beaten before. But given the recent play of the Stoners, any result is possible. Demot will take on Dorian and Sonya, while ESF takes on Commerce Heights. Hopefully D&s will pull an upset, leaving a chance for the Stoners to get in, as Commerce Heights should walk all over ESF.

Dazza and Ricky dancing with each other

Dazza: Hi everyone. I'm Dazza Dallas.
Ricky: And I'm Ricky Point Stick, and this is Dancing with Stars, sorry, THE FOOTBALL LIFE

<couple stop dancing>

Dazza: That was fun, Ricky's a real good dancer.
Ricky: And Dazza likes rubbing people real close. I know - jealous people out there are going blue.

Dazza: Back to the football! And not what Dazza is doing now. Yeah
Ricky: Who says cyclists are useless dancers.

Dazza: Right, two games left - crunch time. A lot of big games coming on now. Losses are a disaster, draws are bad and wins are gold.
Ricky: Points are at a premium in Group 7.

Dazza: Me and the guys and girls of the Jeruselem team too on the lowly Tryanny today. After our draw with Montegrande, we needed the win. So it was all out attack - swords draw and it was war. No prisoners and siege weapons at the ready. Jeruselem crusaders are on Holy war.
Ricky: Queen Dazza and her army crushed the infidels Tryanny FIVE ONE and move every so closer to securing a position on the top 3. We aren't secure yet, at all. But a big win and Dazza's team are ready for a battle next game. We are still 2nd.

Dazza: A great day for Jeruselem even if our opponent was crap.
Ricky: Tryanny stay 8th.

Dazza: Ariddia have qualified! Yes, they played Geisenfried today and Ariddia need a point while Geisenfried needed the win. For the Geisenfried team it was important while the Ariddians weren't so desperate. Yes, a 1 ALL draw. Ariddia cannot be displaced from the top 3 at all.
Ricky: For Geisenfried, a blow as they had to win. With Jeruselem so close, they need all the wins they can get. Not today. Geisenfried stay 4th while Ariddia hold onto top spot one point ahead of Jeruselem. Now Geisenfried are two wins away from Jeruselem, yes 6 points and that is huge gap with two games left.

Dazza: And those plucky Chicanadans - they beat the tricky Montegrande TWO NIL. Montegrande are still 9th but who cares!
Ricky: Yes, Chicanada are still one win behind Jeruselem and one win ahead of Geisenfried. 3rd spot looks the only spot the other can fight for now, and I think Chicanada will not release it at all. Chicanada are too good for that.

Dazza: The top 3 stay put despite Ariddia's gap to Jeruselem back to one point. Chicanada can seal a top 3 spot with another win as can Jeruselem.
Ricky: The others need to win, and hope Jeruselem and Chicanada lost two games! Jeruselem have lost one game and well, Chicanada is one who is under threat.

Dazza: Kericia were back to their best after muffing the last few games with a FOUR ONE win over the disappointing The Macabees. Yes, a win finally but it is too late for Kericia?
Ricky: Yes, they are still 6th and 7 points away from 2nd. They can only finish 3rd at best - if Chicanada lost their next two games.

Dazza: And Magnus Valerius finally won again for a while - they beat last placed Cyredel TWO ONE which was rather close.
Ricky: Cyredel did well but lost because of the class of Magnus Valerius. Magnus Valerius are 5th and are on same points are Geisenfried but their goal difference, well sucks.

Dazza: Group 7 - Ariddia make it, Jeruselem need one more point really and we have four teams fighting over the 3rd spot. Chicanada can seal their spot with another win depending on what other teams do.
Ricky: Still this group - despite being a group of death look like the top 2 seeds showing what a champ does - do the job.

Dazza: Group 2 and the Nedalian lions have hope! Ricky the Nedalia is happy!
Ricky: Nedalia beat United Island Empires FOUR TWO and with two more games left, can only chase Errinundera as Bedistan and Bazalonia have qualified. Anathematic Republics held Errinundera to a two all draw and hence TWO points between 3rd and 4th.

Dazza: Lions need to win two games and Errinundera just have to lose one. It's tight and can our Lions do it?
Ricky: Well, I'll be praying for the miracle. If the Lions lose or draw a game, hope is gone unless Errinundera lose too.

Dazza: Err, Socialist Romanistan lost to the Frenchies from Marceau State 1-2 but really, they've done well.
Ricky: Nice bunch of kids doing well despite a small budget.

Dazza: YAP YAP!
Ricky: Zebra Sports want to thank the people of Jeruselem. A great response to World Cup Captains jersey promotion! The number one item was my Number 13 jersey. Oddly next best seller was Starblaydia and we did sell one Socialist Romanistan one for some reason. Nedalia sold well and so did Bedistan.

Dazza: I'm expecting more Dazzas to be around when I'm home. That's people with Dazza jerseys, not my kids.
Ricky: Well, I think there will be more Dazzas out in this world soon.

Dazza: And gamers are flocking to J-Tek too, and JGN cable is selling well. Hey, don't miss out!
Ricky: I noticed there was Dazza PC in one of the stores. You couldn't miss it, complete with free Dazza Dallas DVDs.

Dazza: Really?
Ricky: Oh yeah, you in bikini on each side.

Dazza: Woah, I've got fans who go too far.
Ricky: Just like you, pushing the extremes.

Dazza: That's it from THE FOOTBALL LIFE
Ricky: See you all later when Jeruselem get that point.

Group 2:
United Island Empires [2] Nedalia [4]
Errinundera [2] Anathematic Republics [2]

Group 7:
Ariddia [1] Geisenfried [1]
Montegrande [0] Chicanada [2]
Kericia [4] The Macabees [1]
Tryanny [0] Jeruselem [5]
Cyredel [1] Magnus Valerius [2]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Ariddia 16 11 3 2 48-17 +31 36
[2] Jeruselem 16 10 5 1 40-15 +25 35
[3] Chicanada 16 10 2 4 31-18 +13 32
4- Geisenfried 16 9 2 5 44-26 +18 29
5- Magnus Valerius 16 9 2 5 26-24 +2 29
6- Kericia 16 8 4 4 44-28 +16 28
7- The Macabees 16 5 1 10 20-42 -22 16
8- Tryanny 16 2 3 11 10-44 -34 9
9- Montegrande 16 1 5 10 12-32 -20 8
10- Cyredel 16 1 1 14 14-43 -29 4


Group 8:
Socialist Romanistan [1] Marceau State [2]

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 1-1 Geisenfried http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/geisenfried.png

Qualified!

It was in Haven Port Nouveau Stadium that Ariddia hosted an often impressive Geisenfried team, for what was to be, nonetheless, an unequal match. One point away from qualifying, the Rouge-et-Noirs needed only a draw, whereas their opponents were in need of a win against the world’s n°10.

Ariddian coach Evgheny Melenciuc said he would be “playing safe”, but nonetheless chose to field several players from the reserve team. Hence second goalkeeper Damien Dhiver took part in the action for the first time, playing the entire game, while Eo La, Christophe Argentier and Trevor Komu were also amongst the starting eleven.

The Rouge-et-Noirs were not expected to give up on their attacking tactics, and indeed maintained their usual formation with three strikers and four midfielders. After a well-coordinated start, Uha Teh slipped the ball neatly past Geisenfried goalkeeper Karl Hettich, and the Ariddians slowed their pace down a little, defending their lead even as they continued some attempts to increase it.

The second half of the match saw Wolfgang Genz equalise for Geisenfried, but the Rouge-et-Noirs did not appear excessively worried. They tightened their defence, while keeping their opponents busy through steady attacks, but the Ariddians did not appear to be pushing strongly for a win. And when the whistle blew at full time, most had smiles on their faces. Their supporters seemed happy enough, too. The team had put the bare minimum of effort into this match, compared with its glorious performance in previous games, but it had achieved its main goal: Ariddia has now qualified!

In Group 2, Backwardistan crashed out against Bedistan, failing to surmount probably insurmountable odds, and is eliminated. Ropa-Topia, however, kept its hopes alive with a good one all draw against Spruitland. In Group 7, many things remain possible. . . except Ariddia’s elimination. In theory, five countries are still battling it out for the two remaining spots, but there seems little risk of Jeruselem being eliminated now. Only Group 5 has now been fully decided, with remaining matches serving only to shuffle the top three.

It is expected that Ariddian coach Melenciuc will give further opportunities to his reserve players, enabling them to practice in the remaining games.

Az-cz Scroll
Mil-Bax
Em-Nm

Gnomes win again, but Tynelia prevents qualification

Although they knew going into the match against Green Wombat that they couldn't clinch qualification the Gnomes continued their run of strong play and ended Green Wombat's hopes of qualification with a 1-0 win. However unlike many of the recent matches it was incredible defense that powered the Gnomes to a win.

Both teams were going full throttle from the opening kickoff. Although no goals were found there were plenty of good chances and the goalkeepers were very busy.

The first really good chance of the game came in the 11th minute. Pizelkaxrovsky found Kn-Dg wide open but he fired his shot off the crossbar. The ball came down and just missed bouncing in before the keeper corraled it.

Green Wombat nearly took the lead in the 33rd minute on a excellently taken corner kick but Gn-Lg read it perfectly and punched it out to turn that threat away.

Just before half the Gnomes earned a freekick deep in Green Wombat's end and Pizelkaxrovsky curled it beautifully but the Green Wombat keeper just kept it out of the net tipping it just wide. On the following free kick Kn-Dg got it to Stanleyinho in the air but he tipped it just wide.

In the second half both teams continued to attack and both keepers continued to be magnificent. Az-cz was the first team to make a sub bringing on Bub-Rub for Hubertino to try to push the attack forward. They made a number of more chances and looked to attack but had no luck with it.

Eventually Bn-Dg was brought on for Levesque in the 74th minute to try to get some fresh legs on the pitch. And still neither team could break through the defense of the other.

In the 82nd minute it looked like the Gnomes had done themselves in. Nerazzurri was a bit late with a tackle in the box and surrendered a penalty in the box. Although the fans were displeased with the call, it was a great a piece of referreeing. It takes a lot of guts to give an 82nd penalty to a home team fighting for it's qualifying life. But the call was correct and the penalty was given.

The Gnomes and their fans were stunned. To give up three points on a play like that would definitely be a stick in their craw if they missed qualifying. You could see the nerves on the faces of all of the players in the stadium except the most important, Gn-Lg, who was calm as could be. Captain Hermes Conrad took the kick but Gn-Lg read it perfectly. He dove to his left and caught Conrad's shot, seemingly fairly easily.

When Gn-Lg made that save the stadium went absolutely insane and there was just a sense in the stadium that the Gnomes were going to find the full three points.

Pizelkaxrovsky and Stanleyinho made that feeling a reality just 2 minutes later when they connected for the only goal of the match.

At that point the coaches sent Lo-Ro on for Stanleyinho to preserve the one goal lead. And preserve it they did.

The Pink & Green now simply need a point or Tynelia giving up a point to qualify. The Gnomes have their first chance to get that done when Schiavonia comes to Slimes Stadium. Tynelia hosts the bottom of the table, Pablicosta, which almost certainly means that the Gnomes will need to take a point off Schiavonia if they want to clinch on matchday 17.

Stats
Score Az-cz 1 Green Wombat 0
Az-cz Scorers 85 Stanleyinho
Shots Az-cz 20 Green Wombat 18
Possession Az-cz 50% Green Wombat 50%
Corners Az-cz 3 Green Wombat 2

News items from the Mount Ellery (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Mt_Ellery) Evening Gazette

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/EveningGazetteMasthead.jpg

SACRED TREE REGISTRY GOES APE

President of Errinundera’s Sacred Tree Registry, poplecti, has fired an ultimatum at the Errinundrian Parliament: either refuse to accept Cuttlefish Island as part of Errinundera or strip the islander’s sacred tree of its name GABRIELLEN. “It is a clear breach of convention to write a person’s name in capital letters," says poplecti from his hospital bed. "gabriellen was a footballer. To name a tree after her shows a grievous lack of respect. And we saw what magistrate orshi had to say about respect for trees in the recent redrider case.”

Fanny Moo magistrate, snapisnapiestu, who visited Cuttlefish Island, has no time for poplecti’s views. “orshi didn’t mention the naming of sacred trees. She only commented upon sawing branches off housetrees. In any case, a clear precedent has been set already. Ever since Rodger River was prohibited from naming its sacred tree LONGIPESP after another legendary footballer, the Rodgerers have made a habit of naming their children after sacred trees. poplecti fails to understand that the issue is simply a contextual one. If the name refers to a sacred tree then it should be in upper case; if a person lower case. What could be simpler than that?”

CAVE-IN DERAILS FOOTBALL FANS – POOR FUNDING BLAMED

A major tunnel collapse has blocked the main monorail line to The Cavern. This will severely affect people’s ability to get to tomorrow’s big match between Errinundera and the Anathematic Republics. Monorail union organiser, etamorphu, blames a lack of funding for the problems confronting football fans. “Only yesterday, the government refused to provide much needed funding for monorails. It’s all very well to cut taxes, but getting to the football is a fundamental human right.”

Local mayor, edimentu, has advised fans to leave early for the big game. “I especially recommend that visitors to Mount Ellery are very clear about the alternative monorail routes. Our 3-D underground city is very confusing for all you dimensionally challenged above-grounders."

ARROGANT POTOROOS LET ONE SLIP

Comments from team captain silvu prior to the match against the Anathematic Republic have come back to haunt the potoroos. To quote: “Anathematic Republics have not been playing very committed football all qualifying series. I think their rating is based on their past reputation.” This arrogance was also on display during the match. In the first half of the match at The Cavern the potoroos played scintillating football, led by rosaniel who scored in the 35th and 40th minutes. After the half-time break it really seemed as if the potoroos weren’t trying. The ARs struck back in the 64th and 80th putting Errinundera’s qualifying chances in jeopardy. In the last ten minutes the home side finally revived the intensity shown in the first half and attacked repeatedly. This was to no avail, however, and the potoroos had to be satisfied with the draw.

Although Errinundera is currently ahead in the race for the 3rd qualifying place in group 2 they are only 3 points ahead of Nedalia (not 2 points as erroneously reported in some overseas media). Due to a significantly inferior goal difference Nedalia must finish ahead of Errinundera on points. This means that, to assure themselves of a place in the World Cup, Errinundera needs to win one of its last two matches. The potoroos have the more difficult draw – they play top placed Bedistan followed by 5th placed Backwardistan. By comparison Nedalia plays 9th placed Reanimated States and 7th placed Anathematic Republics. There is still a twist, however. Both Errinundrian games are at home and both Nedalian games are away.

“It really is up to us,” says a contrite silvu.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 2
(rosaniel 35, 40)

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Anathematic Republics 2
(64, 80)

World Cup Chat with Dan Reynolds and Adam Plumbtree

MD 17 Edition

"I'm Dan REynolds"
"And i'm Adam Plumbtree"
"And welcome to World Cup chat"
"It's been a great qualifiyng run for the Sooners, Baptism of Fire runner ups and ranked only 131 in the world, to be able to finish 4th or 5th here ahead of much more expereinced and higher ranked opponents (Miceland 71, SysKa 78, Vuama and Isma 81) really says alot about our club Dan"
"Sure does Plummy, in my wildest dreams i wouldnt have expected such a high finish"
"Well then lets get down to scores"

Group 5:

Vuam and Isma [2] Harlesburg [1]

"That will atleas move #81 Vuam and Isma out of 8th place there"
"i cant think of many other teams who were hyped to qualify and end up in the basement of their group"
"Fmj Phoenix might be trying that"
*Dan Laughs

The Mice of Miceland [2] Northern Caesarea [2]

"well thats it we needed Caesarea to loose thier remaining three games, and here they tie the Mice"
"So we are eliminated"
"No shit"
"NEXT"

Anastasiania [3] System Karela [1]

"System Karela allowing three goals?"
"Thats ridiculous"
"were they on goals?"
"No all three were scored by Anastasianiaiaiaiaiaa"
"thats enough of that"
"What?"
"You know"
"No i dont"
"NEXT"

The Islands of Qutar [1] Okielahoma [2]

"Thats a nice little win there"
"Yeah pity we were eliminated"
"Who scored for us?"
"Lets see...Harris, and thats number 15 for him i beleive"
"What a suprise"
"And Wilson"
"Another shocker"
"Nice win for us again"
"yep"
"if you'll watch the highlights here you will see a streaker, techinically legal in OKielahoma at the moment"
"if its a female streaker i dont mind"
"Some of use are married"
"Some of us will never be married"
"Or have a girlfriend for that matter"
"Boyfriend?"
"NO"


Casari [7] Ancient Byzantine [0]

"This game was over the minute Casari entered te pitch"
"Yeah a combined goal differential of 93 between these two clubs"
"Pathetic"

Harris 15
Wilson 7
Bateman 3
Lloyd 2
Boatwright 1
Severson 1
Morris 1
Molander 1

---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 16 15 1 0 50-14 +36 46
[2] The Islands of Qutar 16 11 3 2 53-17 +36 36
[3] Northern Caesarea 16 11 2 3 39-18 +21 35
4- Okielahoma 16 8 4 4 31-22 +9 28
5- Anastasiania 16 8 3 5 29-23 +6 27
6- The Mice of Miceland 16 5 3 8 22-28 -6 18
7- Vuam and Isma 16 3 4 9 18-34 -16 13
8- Harlesburg 16 3 3 10 18-34 -16 12
9- System Karela 16 3 2 11 10-24 -14 11
10- Ancient Byzantine 16 0 1 15 7-63 -56

Jo-El: What a thrilling game today. Joining us to talk about it are coach Hawdon, Zax-Im, and today's man of the match, Gn-Lg.

Hawdon: Hats off to the players. They got it done. This game could easily have gone to Green Wombat. They played a heck of a game as well, but our guys fought harder, made the big plays and earned the full three points.

Az-cz reporter 1: Gn-Lg, what were you feeling when you were waiting in goal for that penalty?

Gn-Lg: I was confident. I knew if he put in it an a place where I had a chance to get it I was going to get it.

Az-cz reporter 2: Could you tell he was going to go to your right or was it a lucky guess.

Gn-Lg: He gave it away in his approach. He was heading to his left for certain. Once I knew that I was certain I would get it.

Az-cz reporter 3: How did you feel as you were watching?

Zax-Im: I was petrified. I've never felt so helpless. Never has such an important game for me come down to a penalty kick. I have faith in Gn-Lg, but still PKs are not kind to keepers.

Hawdon: I was definitely nervous. But I've gotten used to things being out of my control. So I just watched it hopefully.

Az-cz reporter 4: Are you disappointed not to be qualified already?

Hawdon: Well of course we'd like to be qualified. But we're in very good shape. We've taken care of our business and that's all you can do. We've got two chances to put ourselves our through. If Tynelia can come back and catch us, they'll deserve that spot.

Frank Dee: Do you have any plans to correspond with the Bazalonian coaching staff going into the world cup?

Hawdon: If they're willing to share notes with me I'd gladly exchange notes with them. But nothing's been oficially discussed at this point.

Az-cz reporter 5: How confident do you feel about qualifying?

Zax-Im: Very confident. We're definitely good enough to get one point from these next two matches. We're definitely going to be more motivated than either of our opponents and that will help alot as well. I think we'll make it.

Az-cz reporter 6: Any changes for Schiavonia?

Hawdon: Nope we need our absolute best out their to try and get points off the group leaders. We can't think about the world cup yet. We've got to keep pushing.

Jo-El: Tonight's voice of the fan question comes from from Dedrick Mathusil of Bazalonia. He writes, "The Super Dude comic is very popular here in Bazalonia and I've heard that a lot of Az-czzers have been reading it as well from my friends over there. So my question is, if you could have a superpower, what would it be?"

Gn-Lg: What do you mean, if? <Everyone laughs> If I could have a superpower it would definitely be teleporation. I don't think it would help as much as the soccer goes, but being able to be anywhere instantly is such an awesome power.

Hawdon: Mind Control. The things you could do with it are so great. With mind control you can just skip past all the other stuff. And you don't even need to use it that much.

Zax-Im: That's tough. I think maybe I'd live invincibility.

Jo-El: Intersting question Dedrick. Thanks for writing from Bazalonia. It's nice to have international viewers.

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly where today Tynelia picked up its first ever win against one of the top ten teams in the world as they defeated Rejistania 1-0 in a thrilling defensive struggle at the Presidential Coliseum. However the celebration was a bit subdued as just after the match ended Az-cz defeated the Green Wombats by the same score pushing our backs completely against the wall even though we moved into fourth for the moment and are the only team capable of knocking the gnomes out at this pint. I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana lee. So Dana as has often been the case a bit of good mixed in with a bit of bad.”

“Unfortunately yes Mike, the team couldn’t really celebrate the big win as the gnomes countered our win with one of their own. However that is not to take anything away from the team’s effort on the field. After a scoreless first half Alan MacDougal broke through with a goal in minute 53 which I don’t think anyone expected to hold up over the course of the rest of the match.”

“But it did Dana, unfortunately for us the Wombats couldn’t help us out, even a draw would have let us move within four with two matches to play.”

“Yes now our hopes are hanging by a thread. We must win out against Pablicosta and Green Wombat and Az-cz must lose to both Schiavonia and Dance 2 Revolution. Oh yes and we need to make up a goal differential of 11 to tie but call it 12 because we lose any dead even ties with the gnomes based on fewer goals and head to head record.”

“At least we have a promising start along the way though Dana. They play the group leaders and we play the group cellar dwellers.”

“Yes mike and in reality this match will decide everything. I don’t expect either team’s final match to be a blowout on either side so any goals to be gained are getting gained here. We need to win about 5-0 and hope Schiavonia does the same just to get within shouting distance on the final day.”

“But if that does happen we’d have a shot then right?”

“Not really. The Wombats have been playing much better than D2R and would love nothing more than to knock us out just as they did back in the BoF. More importantly to the Wombats, a win against us could put them into fourth ahead of us.”

“That’s if they beat D2R first.”

“True but D2R has been a shadow of the CoH winning squad they were coming into it. They haven’t been a factor in the group for some time now, I don’t see them being a spoiler here except maybe out of pride.”

“Well we’re still in it and that’s what counts. Moving on to the injury front it seems Tom Gordman did break his collarbone in the collision with the goal post last match and will be out until after the CoH concludes. A tough break for what many thought would be Tynelia’s premier keeper at this point.”

“Very unfortunately Mike and now brings up the question of who Coach Billington will bring as a backup for the CoH. Realistically speaking that’s where we’re going to end up.”

“So you’re picking us to fall short then Dana?”

“Yes I am, of course to string us along it will take until the final match day just as happened to us with Bettia last Cup where we went into the final matchday technically alive but with a ridiculously high goal differential to overcome and Bettia ended up winning anyway.”

“So your picks will be?”

“Oh we should beat Pablicosta and with the need to score a lot this time around, I expect Coach Billington to pull out all the stops in an attempt to run up the score. If this doesn’t blow up in his face like attacking styles usually do for us I see the team winning 3-0. Schiavonia I think will give us some help but not enough with a 3-1 win of their own over Az-cz. That’s a five goal swing but that leaves us seven on the final matchday and with the competition level toughening for us and lessening for the gnomes that will be too much to make up in one match. Tynelia will certainly be kicking themselves after this cup ends at getting 0 points against Az-cz which will probably keep the team from qualifying yet again.”

“And on that depressing note our time is up. For those who may wonder, Coach Billington has declined further interviews until the team is officially eliminated which is why he didn’t join us here today. Up next match, can Tynelia open up a shooting gallery against Pablicosta and get an even bigger goals edge than what Dana believes? Or will we linger on mathematically for one final almost hopeless match. I’m Mike McPhee for Dana Lee. Have a good night everyone.”

Nw-Cm: What an incredible finish. I can't believe we won that game.

Jay-Sn: Just incredible. You know what, despite all that we went through, I'm glad we came, but we should be getting back now.

Nw-Cm: Come on we've come all this way, and the Anarchy Zone - Creative Zone is open, we ought to head on over that way. Let's at least get a couple of hours in before we head back.

Jay-Sn: Don't you think we should get back as quickly possible.

Nw-Cm: No we've come all this way. If we're going to get in trouble, we're going to get in trouble. Let's celebrate man.

Jay-Sn: Alright. Which would you like to do Anarchy or Creativity?

Nw-Cm: Man I want to light shit on fire. Let's head to the anarchy zone.

Jay-Sn: Hells Yeah. GO PINK AND GREEN!!!!!!

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Unbeaten No More



Despite being underdogs at the start of the group, the Turori Eels composed of Jualiar Vumaou's flock of cocoabo's managed to fight through fifteen matchdays unbeaten in their World Cup xXxI qualifying campaign. The exciting run, which was achieved through a strategic combination of Wins and Draws, was finally put to an end against an appreciative home crowd in Turori. Now group leaders Oliverry took an early 2-0 lead and, while Turori was able to claw one back in the second half, they never looked like running out with the points.

The loss means that qualification is still not ensured for the Eels, who now sit second in the group table, behind Oliverry, but just 6 points ahead of fourth placed Ropa-Topia, with two games remaining, and six points left to take. But, with more than 20 Goals Differential in hand, and a pair of matches against unfavored Spaamanian Plijous and Marion Oaks 2, most Turorians, including coach Vumaou himself, are fairly certain of achieving qualification this time around.

"Yea, We're making our plans at the moment. We've had talks with the Vilitan FA about letting us play some matches in Turori like we were able to do during World Cup 17, but right now it doesnt look like thats going to happen. Hopefully we'll get drawn into the Yeaddin based group, as it will be an easier travel for our followers. We've still got some defensive issues to address, but I think we're going to be alright. Right now we're just pleased to be on our way there, but I think we'll be expecting a little more when we get there. It would be real nice to make it to the second round and get at least one knockout match in. I think that would make all of our fans real proud."


http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 1
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/oliverry.gif Oliverry 2




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)
[8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407)
[9] :: Flock in Florida Falter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11869660&postcount=444)
[10] :: Flock Back on Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875294&postcount=485)
[11] :: Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879759&postcount=513)
[12] :: Defense Collapses as Eels Fall to Second (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11882406&postcount=542)
[13] :: Naked Topian's Left Limp (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11888865&postcount=580)
[14] :: Vumaou no show Lovisa lose Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893258&postcount=606)
[15] :: Vikings Sunk (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11896164&postcount=627)
[16] :: Unbeaten No More (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11901186&postcount=654)

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Fans unite behind the Mateys

With the Mateys facing an unhill struggle to keep their world cup dreams alive thousands of fans have been roaming the streets with flags, placards and singing and generally all sorts of crazy things. Radio and Tv phone ins have had nothing but fanatic fans screeming that it can be done, of coarse other results have to go their way but as long as its mathematically possible the Mateys fans will not stop believing.

http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/7894/41695576ulsterpg9ag6.jpg

A shot from Concert by local band Tranquilies held at Ballyskeagh home of football club Lisburn Distillery, fans of the band however did not wear shirts with band logo but instead thousands turned out wearing the shirt of the football team after a plee from the band memebers to show support


http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/2394/crusadershe9.jpg
Fans from the radical Dir Lock supporters club who call for a 'crusade' against LE and Bettia for the good of the countries football


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A fans modified car sporting Lisburn Mateys colours, emblem and moto

http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/6746/mockcupgi3.jpg

A Mock world cup being paraded by hundreds of fans down Bow Street in Lisburn, the countries busiest shopping district

By tomorrow however the dream may be dead as the Mateys face LE at home however the Mateys have already beaten them away in this tournament so far and hope to create an upset again. The Dir Lock supporters where also out in force at LE's hotel creating mischieve and trying to keep the players awake during the night.

Wentland Sportnews carried a segment to talk about the 2-0 win over Rorysville that gave the Swifts a fighting chance of 5th in the group.

"Geoff, 2-0...what do you think of that?"

"Nothing, really..."

"What do you mean, nothing?"

"Well, who cares? Fifth in the group? Whoopty-doo. Does anyone give a monkey's toss about coming fifth in the group?"

"Err...can we get a survey?"

"These final matches are the most pointless events since the Join The Dots Olympics. What's the point? We can only be 5th or 6th, down amongst the dead men, treading water in the hopes of avoiding embarrassment in the Cup of Harmony. Again."

"Well, we are paid to talk about the match..."

"OK. We scored with a Newton header from a long ball, again. Twice. Then we went 6-3-1 for an entire bloody hour of drivel, dull, boring football. There. Satisfied?"

"Err, not really...how do you think the team will cope in the Harmony?"

"I don't care. What's the point? No-one is bothered about it, all eyes will be on the big event where Wentland is absent. Yet again. And now we'll be fifth seed for the next tournament at best and that'll be it. No qualification until World Cup 54 at best. Is there any point in even entering? Should we scrap ourselves and start again from the Baptism?"

"Err..."

"At least we might bloody win something. How did we do in that? Of course we lost first bloody round. Sound familiar?"

"Err..."

"Or we could invade somewhere. Let's bomb Liverpool England! Let's kill Alan Belmore!!! Rarrggjhh!!"

WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

PLEASE STAND BY

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

The Lion Revealed

Page 1:
Panel 1:

"Adrian Robinson, It has been a long time not since.." said SuperDude as he stood facing the voice that spoke before it cut him off, "Since you drove my mother to the insane asylum. It was all she ever did, curse you for taking away her husband my dad. It's your fault that he died. And so I have been waiting here for so long planing and here you are finally." ranted Adrian. A look of disdain and disgust covered Adrians face as he spat out the words that he had been bottling up inside him ever since that dreadful day. Some infotext was at the bottom of the panel "See Comic #536, summary provided at the end of this comic."

Panel 2:

"I have waited for this day for so long and no one is going to stop me now. Oh, I hope you are comfortable." he said as he pressed a button on a remote control. Cages emerged out of the ground around the 3 non-SuperDude Superheroes. SuperTux, SuperClaymore and SuperMonk . "Oh, and don't worry about the mouse or the gnome. They can't help you now either."

Panel 3:

This panel was split into two sections a slighlty diagonal line split it into the two section the first section was SuperGnome being held in some sort of stasis, his various tools and suit malfunctioning, it currently was somesort of rainbow. The second panel was SuperMouse who found himself trapped in a pipe, there where 3 extremely narrow slits that allowed SuperMouse to see what was going on underneath the pipe which happened to be the confrontation.

Page 2:
Panel 4:

"Your Shield of IPTables cannot protect you now SuperTux, nor can your supposed God protect you SuperMonk, SuperClaymore your strengis useless against the metal this is made from and SuperDude, it's done to you and me." he said as the door behind SuperDude closed. That was the only way of entry and escape that SuperDude was aware of but who knows what else this Golden Lion had instore.

Panel 5:

"What has gotten into you, Adrian, you where so nice." Indeed Adrian was nice in comic #536 but so many things had happened since then. "If you are what nice is then I'm glad I'm not, After many months of despair despondancy I met a man from Atheistic Right, who channeled my aggression and rage made me productive and useful again so I left my Bedistani home and arrived in Atheistic Right to live the life I was meant to live."

Panel 6:

"MY Anger and hatred, being fostered and used took me to places I never thought I could, I was powerful and now it is time to bring my power down to bear on you!" ranted Adrian. SuperDude was just standing there listening before he spoke. "I will not allow you to hurt people, we can stop this madness now!"

Page 3:
Panel 7:

"I have been watching and waiting in the shadows, and finally I have the means to defeat you." said as he pulled out a green crystalline sword, common readers would know that this was indeed Tonkrypite, radioactive element from the planet Tonkyp, it was the only substance in the universe that is deadly to SuperDude. "TONKRYPITE!" exclaimed SuperDude as he saw the sword. "My plans are all ready coming to fruition." An evil smile had spread across Ian's face as he spoke those last words. Indeed it seems his plan is working, whatever it is.

Panel 8:

SuperDude found a sturdy piece of pipe that should be able to parry Sword. "I will not let you turn these soccer players into mulch so you can just create an unbeatable team!" stated SuperDude as Adrian was charging towards SuperDude with the sword in his hand. To which Adrian replied, you self-arrogrant piece of slime, That is not my plan for them. I have something else for them but for you well.. that's another matter." Adrians face was as if he was growling like a wolf at SuperDude as he charged

Panel 9:

SuperDude's piece of pipe clashed in what looked like a typical sword fighting 'A' the 'swords' clashed over the heads of the two combatants, neither sword looked like it would break and the whole scene looked like it was an epic battle between good and evil.

Page 4:
Panel 10:

As you might of guessed or not guessed SuperDude's pipe did not break the Tonkrypite sword nor did it smack the Sword out of Adrian's hands, however the pipe did parry the attack and drove the tip of the sword to the ground. "Oh, and I forgot to mention." said Adrian. Tonkrypite dust is embedded throughout this complex, every second you spend in here you get weaker and weaker." Adrian added explaining why SuperDude's strength did not over power him.

Panel 11:

"I will still fight and stop you." said SuperDude as he took a step back from the fight. Adrian laughed "With your power dwindling every second you would not be able to fight a paper bag and win." mocked Adrian as he waited for an oppertune moment to strike. Both of their stances where classical sword fighting stances something that seemed to be non-existant in recent comics.

Panel 12:

"I still have enough energy to do this!" SuperDude Exclaimed as he swung at Adrian's legs which Adrian managed to Jump over. "You are getting slow old man!" he stated mockingly while doing so. "Every second you are weaker and slower and every second easier for me to finally take you down. Forever." Of course Forever was bold italicised on the comic indicating the emphasis and intonation that Adrian had put on it. This continuely started to look like the end of SuperDude and his friends.

Page 5:
Panel 13:

Once again Adrian attacked SuperDude with his Sword and once again the sword was parried away, but despite being in the typical A frame as before he was right up close to SuperDude with the swords locked almost vertically. "The things you have to put up with to meet your goals." commented Adrian Snidely infering that being this close to SuperDude was something that he had to put up with for the time being.

Panel 14:

Adrian's leg snuck around the back of SuperDude's leg which provided leverage and he used that leverage to be extremely efficent. He was taking out the leg from underneath SuperDude and was making the SuperHero fall backwards onto the ground, such a position would leave SuperDude vulnerable to Strikes from Adrian Particularily if he managed to pin SuperDude down.

Panel 15:

Adrians Leg's had locked SuperDude's leg's up in a hold and Adrian was partly sitting on the feet and partly on the legs of a now prone SuperDude. The Sword was in his hand and it was ready to come crashing down and kill SuperDude for good. Louise, who was watching this in shocked silence next. "Silence Woman, you will be next. But I'll have a bit of fun with you first." Will SuperDude find a way to get out of this, or will this be the end of SuperDude and his comic, as Adrian said, forever.

Page 6:
Panel 16:

"Remember, there is still time to submit entries into our competition, if you don't know much about the competition please go to "www.bc.com.bz/competition", to submit or infact an entry form with details is available from all stores that supply SuperDude."



A small story book describing the story of Adrian was included with the comic, basically Adrian's dad tried to rule the world, SuperDude put him in prison, Adrian's dad committed suicide and Adrian and his mother where left without a husband/father.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

THE MONASTIC TIMES

ARCHREGIMANCY QUALIFIES
Prayers Of Thanksgiving Offered Unto the Lord

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

A surprisingly nervous Archregimancy 3-2 home victory over the deluded Hebrews of the Lord of Hosts, combined with Squornshelous' extraordinary 7-3 thrashing of the Tessan crusaders, sent our brave anonymous monastic footballers into the World Cup for the second consecutive tournament. Along with the Catholic schismatics of Casari, the Archregimancy is one of only two undefeated teams left in qualifying.

The home team twice took the lead over the visiting Hebrews, only to see the visitors score two equalisers with their only two on-target shots of the match. An 87th-minute winner from our anonymous number 6 finally settled the nerves of the home supporters.

The Monastic Football Association and the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy combined to offer forth prayers of Thanksgiving for the team's recovery, after rising from fourth to first in the group on the back of a eight game winning streak:

The Archregimancy's Prayer of Thanksgiving

Almighty God and heavenly Father, You are the fountain of life and healing. We bless Your holy name and offer to You thanks for having delivered our squad from the sickness of too many draws against mid-ranked teams, and restored them to the healthy position of undefeated first place. Grant them Your eternal grace, we pray, that they may live their life in true obedience to You. Guide them to do Your will in all things, devoting the forthcoming World Cup to Your service. Thus living for You may they be found worthy of Your kingdom, where You dwell in glory with Your Son and Your Holy Spirit forever. Amen.

O Lord God Jesus Christ, the Life and strength of all that put their hope in You, Whose mercies are numberless, and Whose treasury of goodness is infinite, we give thanks to You for the blessings which You have bestowed., and we humbly beseech You to continue Your goodness toward us in either Vilita or the Lowland Clans. As You have been well pleased to restore our team to a qualifying position, so do imbue our souls with all the heavenly graces, perseverance in good works, and prepare them by Your blessings in for the enjoyment of the tournament to come. For to You are due all glory, honor, and worship, as also to Your Eternal Father and Your All-holy Good and Life-creating Spirit, both now and forever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

Last night's results mean that the remaining two matches against the group's other top seeds, Spaam and Sqournshelous, are essentially meaningless in qualification terms for the Archregimancy, though Spaam in particular will be fighting hard for a result as they struggle to keep Tessan at bay.

Coach Fr. Polycarp the Venerable reacted to news of the team's qualification with his usual fatalistic acceptance of God's will. "If this is what the Lord wishes for our squad, then we have no choice but to accept his will in all due humility - though it's nice to be able to face Spaam and Squournshelous without having to worry about the results."

Elven Sports Network
Currently Airing: Football Central

"Good evening ladies and gents, welcome to another edition of Football Central. I'm Jason Klien, sided by the ever knowledgable Jennifer Sar. Tonight we look back at the two previous matches, and will preview these last two, keying in on this critical battle with Commerce Hieghts."

"Well Jason, it seemed unfathomable at the halfway stage, but the Marauders have a terrific chance of qualifying. Revtron has proved his worth and lit a fire in the souls of each of his players, and they have responded with splednid play on the pitch, including these last two major upsets. First taking down the fifth ranked team in the world in their own stadium in horrible conditions, and then knocking off a team in the twenties in an extravagent shootout affair in Cataduanes. The team's sudden surge has been coupled by the higher ranked squads going into plummet mode during these recent matchdays, and a multiple of upsets had occured."

"Right so Jen, and thusly this has left three squads vying for the last qualfying spot, with the Marauders looking to have the best chance to grab it. However both the Dynamo and Stoners could take the spot, but as Demot has a rough two games left with Dorian and Sonya and Cataduanes, and the Stoners having to make up five points, the signs point to the Marauders making the proper in their third try at qualification."

"But they must be careful, for the Marauders have a rough game ahead with Commerce Heights. The powerful Slani side have had a temendous qualifying campaign, with their only defeat coming at the hands of the Aces in Krytenia. It will be a tough and almost impossible task to ask the squad to go in and pull a third striaght upset. However if they were to do so, the final matchday sets up very nice, with the squad from Dj8989, who are one of the two teams without a point in the tournament."

"Given those circumstances, I advise all our viewers to start ordering your plane tickets to Vilita, for the squad will likely be going there for the Proper.
Power Outage

Peter Edrickson was the head of the National Union of Association Football Referees and Linesmen. And he really, honestly, hated his job.

He was more or less a figurehead, of course. A sporting culture that had devolved to the depths of bribing and threatening referees who already had obvious favorites and stakes in the outcome of matches only really needed someone in charge to give a nod to various things and get bribes.

Not that he even wated to be a referee- but since he didn't really have much of a tactical mind for the sport, and he could at least spot someone diving, so he might as well be encouraged to take part in the sport in some way.

His first match was a National League South match. The home team said they would have him beaten if the calls didn't go in their favor, the away team promised him 1000 selaris and offered to smuggle him out of the stadium afterward before the home team got their hands on him. In the course of the match, the away team got a penalty shot on a call that was so obvious he would have been killed by someone, and after the match the away team pulled him into their locker room, put him into a tracksuit, and drove him off in the team bus.

And of course, this was a match on the 6th tier of domestic soccer. When he was eventually called upon for the big games, the threats and bribes got so disturbingly excessive that he usually just laughed in the face of both teams and tried to call a fair match while the teams went to bribe and intimidate his linesmen.

Casaran Soccer was a fantastic thing to be an official for. And when refs began to get tapped for international competitions, the nationalistic streak of Casaran referees was obvious with just a bit of looking. And for foriegn referees, well... there was plenty of bribe money for them too.

But Edrickson still felt just a bit guilty. He was no more innocent than anyone else, sitting by while the national referee's body became a clearinghouse for accepting and directing bribes to the correct location. But if one person could break the cycle, he could. The thick envelope contained all the records anyone needed to lay into the referees and most of the teams in the country.

And even better, he knew exactly who would be most interested in it.

Defeat against Okielahoma!
People calling for Davies to be given the sack

The unthinkable happened last night, we lost to Okielahoma. According to the countries leading Quantum theorists in every other possible universe except ours we beat Okielahoma but unfortuanately we happen to be living in this one. Yes with Davies refusing to name the main team on even the subs bench this game had a shadow over it from the start. Many journalists have been speculating a fallout between the team and the manager, and one paper has gone so far in printing that a heated arguement was witnessed between the national manager and the captain Sam Wildgoose.

However his critics may have been silenced with Walker slamming a goal home within the first ten minutes, and with the Qutari defence holding its own with no real threats on goal from Okielahoma, however Davies decided that the game was wrapped up at half time and put on the untested Stubbs into the goal and mixed up the defence by putting on Gareth Hamilton and Donald Eustace getting thier first caps. A defensive blunder gave Okielahoma a corner which Walker could only punch as far as Harris who managed to put the ball in the back on the net with Walker spralled on the floor, the embarrasment gave Okielahoma some new-found confidence pushed forward time and again with The Islands of Qutar not being able to gain the momentum again, and in the final ten minutes Okielahoma tireless attack payed dividends with Wilson weaving rings around the Qutari defence.

After the match Davies would not comment on his actions of the game and when pushed lauching into some expletives that we are not able to print in this publication and attacking several cameramen, the QFA have released a comment that they are fully behind Davies although said his actions after the match were "regretable but understandable". Many football pundits and people across the country have been calling for his head, but some have quietly pointed out that this still has been the best ever qualifying campaign for The Islands of Qutar

- Matchday 17 RP Cutoff -


MD 17 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11903361&postcount=18)

Sel Appa coming back with victory over Nebuleux

The Turtles scored a 3-1 victory over Nebuleux in an interesting comeback from a weak first round. The match was a most interesting one with Sel Appa's scoring first in the 20th minute. The lead was almost shattered by a kick from Nebuleux striker André ROUSSEAU, which missed the right post. Sel Appan striker ESTEVEZ was soon after seen sending a second goal into the net during the first stoppage time. The team was reinvigorated for the second half and morale surged after several losses and a less-than-stellar performance this Qualification stage.

During the second half, Nebuleux striker Gaston MAIGNY was subbed in for Étienne MOLYNEUX. He soon went on to break through the Sel Appan defense and score a goal. This would do little to help as the final moments of the match advanced and Sel Appan striker Alexander NART sent in a straight-on shot that Nebuleux keeper Sébastien DURANT missed. The Turtles settled the scoreline at 3-1 and cheered happily at their victory. Coach Charles DuPont congratulated his team on "a fabulous and much-needed victory" and said he has high hopes for the remaining match and a Cup of Harmony run.

The Turtles remain 8th in group and could advance to 7th if they win the final qualification match.

QAZOXIAN TIMES

WORLD CUP HANGOVER?!?

Two days ago, Qazox finally put to rest all of its past demons and ghosts and whatever that thing was under their bed, by qualifing for the World Cup. But a possible new gremlin has reared its ugly misshapen head... Spindomia, who scored two goals against 3rd string keeper Hernan Cortez. One came in the 30th and the other came in the 40th.

Granted, Head Coach Reggie Hassok was saving the older players for the Cup proper, but to lose twice to Spindomia, currently ranked 84th, by indential 2-0 scores raises this reporter's eyebrows and begs the anwsers to a couple of questions.

Was the qualifaction a fluke? Unknown as ASMV seemingly never bothered to show up during most of thier matches and Quakmybush and Starblaydia seemed on Auto-pilot for most of their games as well.

Does losing twice to a weaker team show that Qazox is not yet ready to compete at a higher level? No. The second game was meaningless and basically was treated byt the players as a friendly.

Can Qazox win the World Cup? Only if 31 other countries are nuked back into the stone age.

The last match before heading to either Vilita or The Lowland Clans is against Assegai Developments. since the scrubs are playing again, who knows what will happen.

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: I just don't know anything anymore. Sativaville, behind 2 goals by EMil Timmermann, finally snapped their winless streak, and STILL is mathmatically in the hunt for a World Cup berth!

All Sativaville needs to do is win, by as many as they can, and hope Demot loses by 7 or 8 and ESF loses by 2 or 3. its That simple!.

So we're basically screwed, but We've tied our best win total, and with a win tommorrow against Ikeea, those warmongering Viking wanna-bes, we could finish technically tied for 3rd, but 4th or 5th based on goal differential as i really don't see Demot losing to Cataduanes by 7 or 8 goals.. but i do see ESF losing to Commerce heights though.

DOWNLOADING DAY SEVENTEEN SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY SEVENTEEN SCORE- D2R 0-GREEN WOMBAT 0

GOALS: none


GAME SUMMARY: Scoreless draw... who really wants to read about a scoreless draw, between two teams that aren't even going to the Cup???

Dazza and Ricky dancing again! They stop.

Dazza: Oh yeah, oh baby! Woah!
Ricky: That's Dazza Dallas and I'm Ricky Point Stick. This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE.

Dazza: <Gives Ricky a kiss> Oh yeah!
Ricky: Dazza's happy, because WE QUALIFIED!

Dazza: You bet, Dazza and team are in the top 32 once again. Oh yeah!
Ricky: Jeruselem played Kericia. We only needed one point and Kericia needed the win - it was all on the line for both teams. The best team won once again. What a clanger of a game - 8 goals with Jeruselem winning FIVE THREE!

Dazza: Jeruselem deliver the points and the entertainment! Kericia came out firing in the first half - 3 goals. We were shocked as they just went out and attacked. We knew they could score and it looked bad - they smashed us first half. Things were looking bad but we are Jeruselem not the French. 2nd half we came our with our attack.
Ricky: Oh yeah, five goals by the Crusaders. They faltered as the Kericia defense can - and got slaughtered. A sea of red and white shirts in the Kericia half putting pressure on the Kericians who tried to defend but could not. The Jeruselem girls were running rings around the Kericians and they were getting tired then the big strikers took charge smashing in the goals. Great game!

Dazza: I think Kericia expended all their effort in the first half and attemped to defend the 2nd half. Jeruselem don't defend for fun, only for necessity. We prefer to attack - and score goals. That's how we like to win.
Ricky: Dazza's a greater leader. Reminds me of a game between Spurs and Manchester United. Dazza's a naughty little red devil.

Dazza: Ariddia kept top spot and crushed the hopes of Magnus Valerius once and for all. Ariddia won THREE NIL and keep top spot, ahead of Jeruselem in 2nd, just.
Ricky: Two seeds make it, who will fill the last spot? Ariddia and Jeruselem are safe as a castle.

Dazza: Geisenfried defeated The Macabees THREE TWO to keep up the pressure on Chicanada. They remain 4th and it's all coming down the last game as the best teams have shown they don't need to stress last game now.
Ricky: The Macabees played well but the goal scoring machine called Geisenfried are true contenders for that 3rd spot.

Dazza: Chicanada or I think it was the Chicanadan team trashed last placed Cyredel FIVE NIL. They stay 3rd but due to rule infringement - they cannot qualify.
Ricky: Why's that?

Dazza: Your nation must exist and the poor old Chicanadan have no home now.
Ricky: Well, they all can stay in Jeruselem. We are happy to have team from Chicanada in Jeruselem and we could use them in our team too.

Dazza: Montegrande drew with Tryanny but that result is moot - no effect in the top 6 at all.
Ricky: And the Group 7 table.

Dazza: Arridia top the group with 39 points with Jeruselem right behind them on 38 points. Both teams qualify. Chicanada are 3rd on 35 but they cannot qualify as the players have no homeland. So 3rd place is held by a team who can't qualify. 4th placed Geisenfried should qualify on 32 points and great goal difference. Magnus Valerius can qualify if they win TWENTY NIL and Geisenfried lost their game. Magnus Valerius are 5th and Kericia are out because Jeruselem smashed them.
Ricky: Qualifiers should be Ariddia, Jeruselem and Geisenfried - like Dazza predicted. I lost that one - cyclists don't know really don't they?

Dazza: Group 2 has 3rd spot under pressure. Bedistan helped my and our Lions Nedalia with a THREE TWO win over Errinundera. Nedalia did not itself a favour with a draw over some zombies from Reanimated States 2 ALL. My Lions failed to take opportunity like Jeruselem did. Nedalia need to win and hope Errinundera lose again. That's it - so simple but Errinundera need to lose.

Dazza: Oh, Socialist Romanistan lost to Michama, FIVE NIL. Yeah.
Ricky: Defense - what defense? I guess they should one next time.

Dazza: Hey, as female journalist of the year I'm going to announce the winner of male journalist of the year. (holds statuette)
Ricky: No it's not me.

Dazza: OK, the votes for male winner were much closer than the one for female. I think I won pretty handily. And the winner of the Jeruselem male journalist of the year is BAHA SAIJAIN!
Ricky: Who's he?

Dazza: He covers wars all over the world. He should be dead by now but he's been covering so many wars - he knows survival. Well done BAHA SAIJAIN, the world's best war correspondent. I'm holding a replica of the award, the real one is coming to BAHA SAIJAIN right now.
Ricky: That's it from THE FOOTBALL LIFE, and well done BAHA SAIJAIN. Stay safe everyone.

Dazza: And sweet dreams - Jeruselem have qualified. And Dazza's going to make another yourtube video.
Ricky: Why do I get the feeling Dazza's going to expose herself again?

Group 2:
Errinundera [2] Bedistan [3]
Reanimated States [2] Nedalia [2]

Group 7:
Ariddia [3] Magnus Valerius [0]
Cyredel [0] Chicanada [5]
Geisenfried [3] The Macabees [2]
Kericia [3] Jeruselem [5]
Montegrande [1] Tryanny [1]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Ariddia 17 12 3 2 51-17 +34 39
[2] Jeruselem 17 11 5 1 45-18 +27 38
[3] Chicanada 17 11 2 4 36-18 +18 35
4- Geisenfried 17 10 2 5 47-28 +19 32
5- Magnus Valerius 17 9 2 6 26-27 -1 29
6- Kericia 17 8 4 5 47-33 +14 28
7- The Macabees 17 5 1 11 22-45 -23 16
8- Tryanny 17 2 4 11 11-45 -34 10
9- Montegrande 17 1 6 10 13-33 -20 9
10- Cyredel 17 1 1 15 14-48 -34 4


Group 8:
Socialist Romanistan [0] Milchama [5]

Graham City Sun - World Cup Qualifying Coverage
The Sun Sports Staff

Julius Pavelovich - Well this qualifying campaign sure has turned out to be an interesting one. While a lot of the established teams like Starblaydia and Bedistan have done well, they haven't done nearly as well as they have in the past. We're seeing a lot of chinks so in their armour, and I think it will be interesting to see how that carries over into the World Cup proper. After a disastrous first start, Nedalia is coming from behind and can potentially catch Errinundera, but aside from them and Az-cz and Tynelia in Group 3, there aren't very many interesting storylines deep into this cup. The focus will now be turning to newly renamed Galaxy and manager Casey Dellet's new-look squad. There haven't been any links about what the team will look like, but we do know that Ryley Bloudin will be back for one last cup. Look for him to try to place the Galaxy over the edge to at least finish 3rd in the group stage here.

Charles McKeenan - This qualifying campain certainly has been interesting and continues to be right down to the wire. The key stories in this campaign has been the fact that hardly any of the higher ranked teams have come out unscathed. Even the Purple Peril have lost 2 games, both against the Black Ozxen from Qazox, hardly your World Cup powerhouse. Fmjphoenix is languishing in 5th place, 10 points behind Ropa-Topia? Turori has also been on fire this cup, returning to the cup proper after a couple of bad performances in the bast World Cups. Group 4 looks to be the most interesting of the final matchday clashes, with three teams all competing for that last spot. Also, an epic battle in Group 3 with Az-cz and Tynelia looking to cement their place in Vilita and the Lowland Clans, but it could go either way. My surprising performance of the qualifying campaign tough goes to Ropa-Topia, who are fighting with top flight Spruitland for the spot in the World Cup, and certainly no one expected them to get this far. All in all, a fine campaign pointing towards a fine cup

Rachael Masters - The big question mark for football supporters here in the Lowland Clans ironically enough has little to do with World Cup. While the squad certainly has some importance, the biggest will be what happens to the domestic football here in the Lowland Clans. With the admittance to the IAFL, many felt that the Clan football had finally reached the top-flight. But with the apparent demise of the IAFL, what happens to domestic football here? The IAFL ran into a lot of resistance from the more local fans, who felt that the Premiership had been reduced to a low flight competition not worthy of the name. So what happens next? Rumors have it that Daniel Davies is ready to reorganize the league again this time, creating a series or regional leagues and then have those leagues feed into the Premiership, abolishing the Championship and LeagueOne. While this would certainly bring an improvement, there needs to be a question of stability. How many times are we going to see the league reorganized before something finally sticks?

Kirian Kopoloupostrom - Well, now that Qualification is almost finished, what do we have to look forward when the World Cup comes to the Lowland Clans for the first time? Well, we have the usuals, like Starblaydia, Bedistan, Liverpool England, Casari, Oliverry, Squornshelous, the UCS, but a lot of these teams are coming of weaker qualifications that usual. Teams like Bazalonia and anonymous monks of the Archregimancy have certainly proved they can play with the big boys, and I forsee breakout Cups for both teams, with a place in the top 3 not too unlikely for both teams. Plus Bazalonia has that really cool comic, which is pretty nice, I've been thinking about submitting my own hero. I think that the new Galaxy should do pretty well, now that they are over the hump, but I think a second round would probably be a tad optimistic. I think they can play spoiler, but until the draw we don't really know. Az-cz if they qualify would also be an outside threat, someone no one should ignore. But for a winner? I think at this point I'm going to pick the Archregimancy. I've got a good feeling about that team.

The Graham City Sun: Proud Sponsors of the World Cup Hosted by The Lowland Clans and Vilita

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Read SG online - http://sports.rta/gazette/

To Qualify Or Not To Qualify
by Charles Neumann

ISLE OF UHM - With only one more match to go, there are still two scenarios left where Ropa-Topia will qualify for the World Cup. Both will require Ropa-Topia to beat Lovisa, which should not be a problem at all, but it will either require Spruitland to lose from Fmjphoenix (which is not that likely, as Spruitland won 3-1 in their previous match against them) or Spruitland-Fmjphoenix will have to result in a draw, but in that case Spruitland and Ropa-Topia are tied in points, and that would mean Ropa-Topia has to beat Lovisa with at least a 6 goal difference. That is something the team hasn't done before (not counting the pathetic team from ESAT in the Uhuhland Cup) although today against Marion Oaks 2 Ropa-Topia did show that they can score 6 goals in one match (3 goals by Yvon Hendrix, 2 by Anky Huybrechts, and 1 by Laurinda Baldwin), which means the 6-1 is the team's best win so far (again, not counting the matches against ESAT; a 30-something to nil win is not good, that's just plain silly).

The home match against Lovisa will once again take place in the Unity Stadium, and because the renovations have been completed on schedule, the match will be preceded by an official ceremony where the stadium will be (re)opened by Crown Prince James of Uhuh-Topia and Crown Princess Melissa of Uhuh-Ropa. It has not yet been confirmed that the Prince and Princess will also stay to view the match, but there are indications that this will be the case.


Schedule
10. Home: Fmjphoenix - W 3-1 (Away: W 3-1)
11. Away: Oliverry - L 1-5 (Home: L 2-3)
12. Away: Spaamanian Plijous - W 2-0 (Home: W 3-1)
13. Home: Turori - L 1-4 (Away: L 1-4)
14. Away: Lexington SC - W 1-0 (Home: W 2-1)
15. Home: Bushes Been Quaked - W 3-1 (Away: W 3-0)
16. Home: Spruitland - D 1-1 (Away: L 1-2)
17. Away: Marion Oaks 2 - W 6-1 (Home: W 1-0)
18. Home: Lovisa - Next! (Away: W 3-0)

News items from Bonang’s (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Bonang) major daily newspaper.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/TheNationMasthead.gif

BONANG 'SACRED TREE' FALLS

ENGINEERS RESTORE ERECTION

As predicted by material engineers Bonang’s ‘sacred tree’, FINGER, fell over at precisely 12 noon yesterday, assisted by a shove from the city's chief engineer, ateria. “The base of the ‘tree’ had rusted through,” said arteria. “We have re-set the ‘tree’ in concrete with two protective jackets: a plastic waterproof jacket and a ceramic insulating jacket. This should keep out rust for hundreds of years.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Thorpdale.jpg
FINGER was originally erected after the world's tallest tree was chopped down

Almost 200 people attended the ceremony and cheered as the newly erected FINGER was given just the right tilt pointing towards the nation’s capital First Creek Falls. The erection was celebrated by revellers dancing naked around the pole despite difficulties created by a nearby fence.

CUTTLEFISH ISLAND NOW PART OF ERRINUNDERA

The two houses of parliament yesterday ratified the newly discovered Cuttlefish Island as part of Errinundera, a move that was sought by the islanders themselves. Although nobody in parliament seemed to have any idea where the island was, there was no doubt about the outcome of the vote. Mayor of the island, fuso, took her place in the Lower House and gave a heartfelt inaugural speech. The vacant magistrate’s position will be filled shortly. As no-one on the island has the necessary qualifications, the position will, perforce, be given to a mainlander. fuso is clear about the type of person they are seeking. “We desperately need a young single female willing to marry an islander and have children in order to introduce variety into our gene pool.”

The questions of Errinundera’s status as a landlocked nation and as a rainforest nation were studiously ignored. In contrast the question of the name of the island’s sacred tree, GABRIELLEN, was dealt with swiftly. By an almost unanimous decision in both houses the name was endorsed, overriding objections from the Sacred Tree Registry. Prominent magistrate, snapisnapiestu, speaking from her office in the Upper House, was jubilant with the result. “This should provide a long-needed poke in the eye to the guys at the Sacred Tree Registry.”

POTOROOS CORNERED IN THRILLER AT THE B.C.G.

A packed crowd of over 100,000 saw Errinundera lose valiantly today against the reigning world champions and KPB #2 seed Bedistan. The final score of 2-3, while disappointing to diehard fans and a setback for World Cup qualifying, was a fair indication of the difference between the two sides. Local star and potoroo defender, itzro, was, despite the loss, proud of her team. “At the start of qualifying many commentators were saying that Bedistan would beat us with a scoreline like 5-nil or something. In each of our encounters we lost by only a goal and, especially today, we had our chance to win. It’s that ability to dig deep when the pressure is on that we have to learn from teams like Bedistan.”

The potoroos opened in sensational form with an early goal to rosaniel who is having a boomer of a series. The Bedis responded when midfielder Parker Law scored in the 25th minute following a corner. Captain silvu took on what seemed the entire Bedi defence to put the home team ahead just before the break. Shortly after the resumption the visitors capitalised on a defensive error when the inexperienced denticulatae collided with the keeper, lotorous, at a corner kick-in, causing him to lose his footing. Parker Law made the potoroos pay dearly for the error. For almost 30 minutes thereafter the 2 sides probed and defended before Felicity Wilson reduced the huge crowd to silence with the deciding goal, a header from yet another corner kick-in.

itzro agreed with criticism about the teams inability to deal with the Bedistani aerial prowess at corner kicks. “Both teams learned from the previous encounter. Just as we were exploiting their lack of pace, they figured out our weakness in the air. That probably also explains why it was a higher scoring game than the earlier match. The coaching team has already indicated it will be looking at improving our defensive tactics at corner kick-ins.”

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 2
(rosaniel 8, silvu 40)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Bedistan.png
Bedistan 3
(Law 25 & 56, Wilson 83)

FOOTBALL TRIVIA

- Errinundera needs to draw or win against Backwardistan to be assured of a qualifying place.
- The match-ups between ancient rivals Errinundera and Bedistan are 2 wins apiece and a draw.
- Bedistan, the world #2, is not the highest rated team to ever play at the B.C.G. In World Cup 8 qualifying, the then world #1, our own Errinundera, played a home game here.

Spindomian National Telegraph

Spindomia out, but not down

Spindomia's chances of qualifying are officially over, thanks to a Quakmybush win as well as a Raging Penguins draw. Despite this, Spindomia went out in style with a huge 2-0 win in already qualified Qazox, with goals from Frenry and Roder.

This leaves Spindomia still in 6th, with 1 game to go, although now they are on level terms with Eseck who are in 5th. Spindomia are assured of their best ever qualification position, of at least 7th and possibly 5th. All will be decided with Spindomia's final game at home to Raging Penguins, coupled with the Eseck vs. Andossa game. Wins for Spindomia and Andossa will make certain Spindomia rise into 3rd, but a loss and an Andossa win will put us in 7th. If Eseck win then Spindomia would have to win by 2 more goals than them.

Spindomia are also involved in Quakmybush and Raging Penguins race for the last qualification spot, and if we defeat the penguins then we would leave the oppertunity for Quakmybush to sneak in

This campaign has been a successful one, Spindomia (Ranked 84) beating higher opposition on many occasions: Qazox (Ranked 45 - 2-0 and 2-0), Rordia (Ranked 63 - 2-1 and 2-0), Quakmybush (Ranked 29 - 3-2) and Andossa (Ranked 20 - 1-0). Although they still havent managed to beat Starblaydia in the 5th and 6th time of trying.

Hacker's Reign In Doubt Following Tirade
Although He Had A Point

Norman Hacker's short but controversial reign as Wentland national manager is on the cusp of being terminated after his dismissal during the Funnia Lan game and an astonishing tirade against officialdom in the post-match press conference.

Hacker was sent to the stands by the admittedly hopeless referee Mr Blunkett after a fourth strong claim for a penalty was turned down, after a Funnia Lan defender caught the ball on the line and quickly hurled it over the bar, only for Blunkett to give a throw-in.

Hacker stormed onto the pitch, surrounded by the 9 Wentland players still on the pitch, all of whom seemed intent on dismantling the useless referee and were only stopped by an influx of off-duty riot police.

Hacker's press conference afterwards is now available on DVD, with a special 21 certificate given the strength of the language.

Highlights available for publication include:

"...****ing twat could not referee a ****ing subbuteo match...

"****ing mother****er even scored their ****ing goal trying to get out of the way...at least he SAYS he was...

"****ing **** played 7 ****ing minutes of injury ****ing time to make ****ing sure they scored the ****ing goal...

"I don't know how he gave our goal...thought he would ****ing disallow it for being a header or something...

"...three sent off? For what? A foul throw, being offside and looking askance? ****er."

Certainly the result defied all rational expectation. Computer scientists have applied a number of different scenarios through the Giant Blue mainframe at Went HQ, weighting the results for team ranking and each side's media presence at the World Cup and applying random numbers, and out of a hundred million billion trillion permutations not one showed that Funnia Lan could sneak a point. It is self-evident that something very odd has gone on when a team that has not even shown up for its matches can score a point against the fourth seed.

Derek Snaddly looked at the rest of The Team. DMYS was quietly glooping in a corner, in a sentient way. Mrs. Tweezly was scolding Deadly Penguin in another corner, due to the fact that he was not in the habit of washing.

Snaddly had not been satisfied with The Team's previous performance against Nikea, as there had been no goals scored upon the other team, even after The Team held them up at gunpoint and lined them up against the edge of the pitch. The unfortunate thing, Snaddly thought, was that The Team had lined them up inside the goal with their hands up in the air, and even after Mrs. Tweezly had tried to score(DMYS and Deadly missed the goal altogether, and Snaddly scuffed his shoe on the ball earlier on, and so declined to even try), it was to no avail. So The Team had left the Nikeans there, with the reasoning that if DMYS say on the ball for the rest of the match, The Team would remain in control of the ball, and thus stood a greater chance of winning.

Such reasoning hadn't worked. Snaddly needed to work on a new philosophy for The Team. Perhaps more emphasis on winning and less on killing? It was crazy, but it just might work.

*************************

"Didja see the scores fer Th' Team?"

"Yeah, draws all around, and no goals 'gainst that Nike team, or whatever it's called."

"Yep, real shame. Them Nike's ought to 'ave beaten the team up bad. Same wid Starblaydia. Ah mean, c'mon! The Team, not losin' to Starblaydia? Somethin' smells fishy to me."

"Oh, sorry. I'm drinking the Whiskey Inna Trout. Damn good stuff. Them penguins make some damn fine drinks, when their not goin' nuts."

"They make the drinks to get angrified, mate."

"Oh."

"The Team had betta' start focusin' more onna killin' bit of football, an' less onna winnin' bit. If I don't start seein' losing scores for em, Imma be pissed!"

"You are pissed, mate."

"Naw, I mean real angry, not durnk– er, dunk– er, drank– er, whatever."

"Oh."

"Yeh, they'd better start losin'. I'm not wastin' my tax-payer Curses on some football team if they qualify. 'Cause if they qualify, th' governnenment has t' fund them. Part of a contract, see."

"I know, Frank. I think everybody knows. You've had enough to drink, I think."

"Naw, naw, I kin hold ma licker– er, lickor– er, lickwor– er, whatever..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 3-0 Magnus Valerius http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/magnus_valerius.png

Xu shines in first match

Having already qualified, the Rouge-et-Noirs were playing for honour, glory and sheer love of the game, not qualification, as they welcomed Magnus Valerius in Stade National Rêvane Sud.

As promised, reserve players were given their ninety minutes in the limelight. Masashi Hasebe, Giorgos Charisteas, Ie O and Sébastien Lescrit were all among the starting eleven. . . as was Xavier Xu ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Xavier_Xu), the third goalkeeper. Much has been expected of young Xu, and he was now playing his first ever match for the Rouge-et-Noirs.

It soon became clear that the Ariddians were treating this as a serious match. They played a determined, well-coordinated game, against a Magnus Valerian side who never really seemed to get themselves started. The Valerians committed repeated errors, and were overwhelmed by confident Rouge-et-Noirs who found their net three times. Nathalie Simon scored twice and Tadjou Senaya once, while Xavier Xu excelled in the goal cage, blocking every Valerian attempt.

“It was a great game,” Xu said later. “I’m glad I was able to take part.”

Having been trained in Errinundera, he explained he has been watching the latter team’s progress with interest.

“They’ve been doing very well. Which doesn’t surprise me at all. I really hope they qualify. . . and I’d like to take this opportunity to say hello to all my friends back in Errinundera. How are you doing? I’ll come back and visit you one day!”

Elsewhere, Backwardistan defeated Risa-Aramour, while Ropa-Topia are still in with a chance to qualify, after an excellent 6-1 performance against Marion Oaks 2. In Group 7, Jeruselem has joined Ariddia in a secure qualifying spot, having defeated Kericia in an intense and exciting match (5-3). Geisenfried increased their hopes of snatching the last spot when they defeated the disheartened Macabees 3-2.

Meanwhile, a cartoon likeness ( http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/2881/wvhanifahkyawwk1.png) of Ariddian team captain Hanifah Kyaw ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Hanifah_Kyaw) appeared in the West Ariddian satirical programme Westville News ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Westville_News), reflecting her increasing international popularity.

http://img47.imageshack.us/img47/8127/wvhanifahkyawbrd5.png

“I laughed when I saw it,” Kyaw said. “But I hope I’m not really like that! Now everyone in West Ariddia is going to think I’m a rather silly person!”

Az-cz Scroll
Az-cz City
Em-Nm

Schiavonia pounds Gnomes, puts qualification into doubt

Needing just a single point to clinch qualification and with goal differential quite possibly coming into play, the Gnomes were looking to put together a strong performance in their last home match. Unfortunately they sent the home fans away very disappointed and with much to be nervous about going into the final day of matches. They ended their home qualifiers in their only performance so far without a goal.

Suprisingly in a match of such importance Pizelkaxrovsky wasn't on the pitch for the match. Apparently he came down with some kind of virus and spent the whole night before the match vomiting.

Without their star midfielder the team looked a little out of sorts. They switched into a 4-4-2 formation with Bub-Rub coming on for Pizelkaxrovsky. However they clearly were not used to the 4-4-2 and Schiavonia took advantage of them quickly.

All three of Schiavonia's goals came in the first seven minutes. And amazingly they all came from the feet of Colin Chester. Who scored in the second minute off of a rebound of a Seamus Bradley shot, in the fourth minute on a freekick, and in the seventh minute he just juked Nerazzurri and fired in by himself.

After those three goals the Gnomes settled into the 4-4-2 and Schiavonia clearly took off the gas. The Gnomes must be thankful for that seeing as goal differential could be the difference of whether or not they qualify.

At halftime the fans wondered if there would be any change to a more offensive formation to try to pull some of the goals back, but it wasn't to be. There were no changes at all made at halftime.

Both teams played very conservatively in the second half with almost no attack from either team. Schiavonia brought on three of their younger players to get experience and the Gnomes seemed to content to stay at 3-0 and let it all ride against Dance 2 Revolution. The only sub in the second half was bringing on Lo-Ro for Bub-Rub.

Now with one game left the Gnomes are still the team to beat, but the door is open for Tynelia. They pasted Pablicosta 4-0. If the Gnomes earn a point on the road against Dance 2 Revolution or Tynelia fails to earn the full three at Green Wombat then the Gnomes are through. But if The Gnomes lose and Tynelia win, goal differential will be the deciding factor. The Gnomes currently have a 4 goal advantage there, as well as six extra goals. That means aside from the two goals gained back from the win and the loss Tynelia would need to get three extra goals there way. It's a daunting task, but if the Gnomes aren't careful it could happen.

Stats
Score Az-cz 0 Schiavonia 3
Az-cz Scorers
Possession Az-cz 37% Schiavonia 63%
Shots Az-cz 4 Schiavonia 5
Corners Az-cz 0 Schiavonia 0

Jo-El: Here to talk to us after today's tough loss are coach Hawdon and Zax-Im.

Hawdon: Hats off to Schiavonia. That Colin Chester kid is amazing. Personally I don't want to see him again. Ever. Six goals in two games. Just carved us up.

Az-cz reporter 1: What's wrong with Pizelkaxrovsky?

Hawdon: He got some sort of virus. It's not that serious but he was unable to play today. He'll be back for the D2R match.

Az-cz reporter 2: You guys looked really uncomfortable in the 4-4-2. What was the problem there?

Zax-Im: I don't really know. The back of the formation was the same six guys. It was only the front part that was different. But apparently Pizelkaxrovsky plays a bigger role defensively than we realized. They worked the middle of the field well and Chester really did his tapework. He really knew how to hit us. He seemed to know Gn-Lg's tendencies and everything.

Az-cz reporter 3: You didn't try to pull back the goals late in the game. Why was that?

Hawdon: At halftime me and coach Khim talked it over. I was slightly pushing to try and pull them back, but really there was almost no way we were going to take back three goals. And if we got agressive we were more likely to give up another than pull some back. And if we did that than Tynelia really would be in great shape. We decided we wanted to keep alive some chance of sliding through with a loss against D2R.

Az-cz reporter 4: Doesn't preparing for a loss against D2R send a bad message to the team?

Hawdon: It shouldn't. I think we'll take points off of D2R and qualify. I told the players that after the match. But it's our job to try and give them the best chance to succeed. And today the best thing to do was play back.

Frank Dee: What experiences will you be drawing on for the game against D2R?

Hawdon: My coaching experiences. Khim's coaching experiences. The player's coaching experiences. We all have experience with games where we needed to win. Yes I've never been in a situation with one game to clinch world cup qualifying, but I've been in similar situations. I'm sure it's not different and I'm not worried about it.

Az-cz reporter 5: What contingency plans have you prepared to deal with things like what happened to day with Pizelkaxrovsky?

Hawdon: Well we have to go back to the drawing board. Of course we're hoping to have our full first choice team for the match against D2R, but we'll just see how it comes. We're thinking about all the possibilities, but there's clearly no correct answer.

Az-cz reporter 6: Are you concerned about the team's lack of offense these last two matches?

Hawdon: No. Against Green Wombat their keeper was fantastic and today Schiavonia jumped way out ahead and both teams got very conservative. I'm not worried about the offense. I think we'll score at least once tomorrow.

Jo-El: Well we're going to let the team get home early tonight, so the voice of the fan segment has been cancelled. Goodnight everyone.

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s ongoing World Cup 31 qualification coverage. Today the team continues to hang on to its chances by its fingernails with a 4-0 drubbing of Pablicosta. And to help matters out Az-cz suffered their first shutout defeat with a 3-0 loss to Schiavonia. That means with one match to play Az-cz’s goal differential edge has been to from 11 to 4 . Though Tynelia does need to gain 5 goals in order to move on due to tiebreakers. I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee and who would have thought we’d have a semi-reasonable chance here in the final day?”

“I certainly didn’t Mike. This is actually the closest Tynelia has been to qualifying in their history of international play but fans used to disappointment aren’t letting their hopes get up too high. A five goal swing in one day isn’t impossible but with the competition also changing this will still be tough to make up for us.”

“I don’t know about that Mike, I mean all we need is to win 3-0 and Az-cz loses 2-0 and we’re in.”

“Except for two mintr details Mike. The first is we could only beat the Wombats 1-0 at home in the first half and Az-cz beat Dance 2 Revolution 2-1 at home and now get to play them on the road which may help us somewhat. All Az-cz needs is a draw and we’re done. Given how tough the Wombats have played us I don’t see us winning by more than two goals at best. That means D2R would need to win by three and the way they have played this Cup I don’t see that happening at all.”

“Well you would think D2R would want to finish on some sort of high note at home at least Dana. But you can say the same about the Wombats. Perhaps the fact that the Wombats can’t catch us for fourth might take away any motivation on their end to go all out against us.”

“Its certainly possible Mike but I wouldn’t count on it, the Wombats are old rivals of ours and I can’t see them taking it easy on us.”

“What about the gnomes, do you think the pressure may be getting to them?”

“Its tough to say Mike, they played well in a tight win over the Wombats before this match. And face it, holding Schiavonia to only three goals is a good showing the way they have played this Cup. Perhaps the fact that they couldn’t clinch despite having six home matches this half might cause some doubts as to whether they can finish this off. Realistically though they hold the cards here. Eeven with a loss they can still get in as long as they keep things close and we don’t blowout the Wombats. Given Tynelia’s defensive style any Az-cz goal could be the difference maker in the tiebreaker. We won’t catch them in goals scored trailing by six so the only tiebreaker we have a chance at is goal differential.”

“Well I just received word that after today’s assault led by Alan MacDougal two goals and helped out by a single goal by both Anya Collins and Jay Masterson, Coach Billington is throwing caution to the winds. As the veterans have stepped up today he’s bumping Bill Jakes into the starting lineup as a striker and sitting Greg Sampson from the forward spot making it a three striker front instead of the usual two. Clearly a move designed to try to run the score up Dana.”

“Yes it is and it does make sense when you think about. The team will finish fourth at worst no matter what happens so why not throw everything you have out there. If they lose they’re still fourth so there’s no real risk here. The question is if, at age 38, Jay Masterson can hold up for an entire match after playing an entire tournament.”

“It might not be too bad Dana, Masterson has had a couple matches off and has been subbed for to start the second half in almost all his other matches. I think the old warhorse has one more full match in him. If not Gina Garret has shown she can put the ball in the net in limited playing time if there is a need to sit Masterson.”

“That’s true Mike and Jim Michaels has come up big with three straight shutouts to even give the team this slim chance of making up the goal differential. He’s really stepped it up, looking like a new man after earning the 1-1 draw with Schiavonia, the last match he allowed a goal.”

“Yes and he must feel the pressure given such a rusty backup behind him. I’m sure he feels its all on him now and has certainly played like it. And now for a look behind the numbers let’s welcome Melodi Harris back as she crunches the numbers for the final match day.”

<Melodi appears on screen>

“Hello Mike, yes I’ve been looking at the numbers throughout the tournament for the four teams to see just how likely it is for Tynelia to get the five goal swing they need to move on. There has only been two occasions where Tynelia has gained the 5 goal edge they needed and both times it came in the last match’s combination of Tynelia vs. Pablicosta and Az-cz vs. Schiavonia. There were only four other matches where Tynelia had a goals advantage and two were when Az-cz faced Rejistania . Clearly this scenario favors Az-cz.

“This first chart shows how many times each of the four teams we’re concerned with have scored each match.

team---- 0 goals------1 goal---2 goals--3 goals--4+ goals
Tynelia ------ 4-------- 7------- 1------- 3------- 2
Az-cz ------- 1-------- 7------- 5------- 2------- 2
D2R---------- 5-------- 5------- 3------- 1--------3
Green Wombat---5-------- 2------- 7------- 1--------2

“As you can see these numbers don’t really give us much help. The Wombats have scored two goals in slightly less than half of their matches but have done so more times than Tynelia has scored 2 or more goals this tournament. However they can be shutout as shown by their 5 shutouts to date. D2R is in a similar situation weighted heavily towards 0 or 1 goals but on the other hand they have the most 4+ goals matches of anyone. Feast or famine with their offense. Az-cz as was mentioned earlier is the toughest team to shutout of the four and are even with us in 1 goal matches. They also tend to put up a pair of goals quite often.

“What does this mean? That there is only an 11% chance that Tynelia will score 3 or more goals and the Wombats will score 1 or less. The two main combinations that most experts feel Tynelia needs to have a chance. On the other side of the coin, there is also an 11% chance that Az-cz will score 0 or 1 goal to 3 or more from D2R which boils down to the final verdict that there is slightly more than a 1% chance that both combinations will occur to give Tynelia the qualifying spot. There is a slight margin of error as this stops at a 4 goal cap. If someone puts up more than that obviously Tynelia’s chances will increase.”

“Wow that’s a whole lot of math for me Melodi. I’m not even going to ask about the defensive side of it.”

“Oh I have the numbers for that too Mike if you want…”

“Well…er… I’d love to hear it but it seems we’re out of time. Thanks for dropping by Melodi.”

“Maybe next time then Mike. Thanks for having me.”

<Melodi vanishes from the screen>

“So what do you make of all that Dana?”

“Well Melodi is right as far as it goes but defense will certainly play a part as well. The Wombats are a much stronger team on defense than D2R is which will make things much tougher for us to score than Az-cz. And since we’re the ones that really need the scoring I think even a 1% chance may be a bit high.”

“Well then its time for your picks then. Will we do it?”

“I’m afraid not Mike, while I think with the motivation the team has right now I can see a 2-0 win over the Wombats. However I also think Az-cz will walk away with a 1-1 draw which means the gnomes will advance. D2R will really need to wake up and play like the three seed they are to give us any chance but I just don’t see that happening.”

“OK then Dana, at least a win here would get some momentum for the CoH. And the team will surely be kicking themselves for giving up the full 6 points to the gnomes in their head to head matches. Obviously that’s the difference between advancing and the CoH at this point. And thanks to the magic of television and the schedule makers it seems both the Tynelia- Green Wombats match and the Az-cz match with D2R are starting at the same time according to the schedule makers so there should be a lot of scoreboard watching going on in both those matches as the final leg of qualifying comes to a close. Until then I’m Mike McPhee for Dana lee and Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

The Quakmybush National Soccer team came back into the dressing room, not ecstatic, but excited. They knew they had a chance at qualifying. The team had just defeated Assegai Developments in a close game 4-3. Jon Fields scored 3 goals and rookie standout Matthew Graves scored the other goal.

"Guys, I have good news!." coach Greg Hughes said. "Raging Penguins drew their game with Nikea 0-0. This means we are tied with them, and only behind on goals scored going into the final matchday." A large cheer erupted from the team. "Now they have an easier match ahead of them with Spindomia, however, this is the same Spindomia team that defeated us, so you never know. We just have to play our hearts out and then some against Starblaydia." he finished.

"Alright, guys we need a huge game from everyone, from front to back, we can do this, we know we can. We have been in situations like this for both of our other cups. Going into the last day, not knowing if we had qualified or not. It is the same this time, we just have to go out and win. All it takes is one goal, just one more then they do, just one. We can do it!." Jon Fields said.

"He is right guys." Cam Carroll said. Cam Carroll very rarely said anything but he decided to speak up this time. "I know I'll be standing on my head, all you guys need to do is get me one goal. Then, leave it up to me, I know these guys are good, but we can beat them." he finished.

"You guys are all right. Now, everyone let's get out of here and to the airport. We got a game tomorrow. Everyone get as much sleep as they can, we are going to need it." Greg Hughes said.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hector Dixon sat in his prison cell. "Damn it!" he said. How do they manage this. I swear I had paid enough people off. Bah, o well, they take on the Starblaydi's next, and I know they can't beat them, it's impossible." he said, talking to himself.

"Hey, you in Cell 18-A shut up before I make you my bitch." Bubba said. "Also, I may shank you if you don't can it." he continued.

The next morning Hector left his cell for outdoors time. He was playing some basketball when another one of the inmates asked why he was in here. "I was paying people to make the national soccer team lose." he replied.

"You did what!?" the inmate asked.

"Paid people to make the national soccer team lose."

"I know, I was just shocked, and being sarcastic, I totally heard you." the inmate said.

"Oh. So i should start running?" Dixon asked.

"You know it." the inmate replied. Then the inmate shouted. "This guy paid people to make the soccer team lose!." That just got a huge mob after Dixon. He ran and ran and ran, but finally the mob got him and started beating him with whatever they could find, shoes, rocks, empty pop cans and even the basketball they were using. After about thirty seconds the guards got in and broke it up.

"What's going on here?" one of the guards asked.

"This guy payed people to make the soccer team lose!" the inmate said.

"O, well we will take care of him OK boys?" the guard asked. The inmates grunted and went back to their cells. The guards then proceeded to work over Dixon with their billy bats. Needless to say it will be a long stay in prison for Hector Dixon

Trevor Hynes slumped in the seat, his editor across the desk, reading the article slowly. It had been ten minutes since he had even made a comment about anything- just silent reading. And then he said it.

"Hynes, you're going to make the front page with this." The editor said, setting the article down and pushing it across the desk. "And then we'll more than likely have to skip the country. But you'll make the front page."

Hynes blinked. "Skip the country?"

"We'd probably get lynched in the streets for uncovering the massive corruption and whatnot. People like to keep a good thing going."

---=--=---

The Arcadian Blue Union Newspaper usually hit the stands at about 4:30 in the morning. By about 10:30, stocks in the city were sold out, reports based on the article were interrupting morning cartoons on all three of the major networks and were the only topic of conversation on 11 other stations. The World Service was carrying the story for the rest of the world- Casaran Soccer was so corrupt to be digusting. The Ocean Service was so wrapped up in the story that the noon Ocean Forecast was late.

And in his office, Wilson Graham, President of the Casari Soccer Authority, was seriously pissed off.

Not that any of it was a lie, of course. Graham had his hand in more cookie jars than Vishnu, and noone had even found his ties to sports gambling websites yet.

Standing up, Graham was looking out the window when the phone rang. Picking it up, he sighed. "No. I'm not doing interviews."

---=--=---

Down at practice, the media kept cramming into their enclosure and snapped pictures of Hill every single chance they could.

The flashes were so annoying that it was only 10 minutes until she walked over and began swearing at the reporters and threw them out, watching half amused as security shoved the reporters into the tunnel, slapping cameras out of hands and stomping on them as they hit the concrete ramp.

"What the hell is that?" Ruhlman said, walking up behind Hill.

"Meh, our illustrious leader got busted for being a crook today. You know, paying off refs, fixing matches, being involved with gambling, stuff like that."

"That might be a bit of a distraction." Ruhlman said as Hill gave the reporters the finger.

"Hey, we didn't give anyone any money or have anyone beaten to a pulp in a garage somewhere. Our jobs are fine."

"What do you mean?"

"We're National Heroes. I'm the all conquering coach, you're the star striker from back in the day. Even if we ate babies, they'd have a hard time turning people against us."

"... well... fine, that makes sense." Ruhlman said, nodding.

"Good, now let's go make the players think they did something wrong." Hill said, streching.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Flock Plijing to Vilita

Jualiar Vumaou's Flock of Cocoabo's finally secured their ticket to the World Cup xXxI finals in Vilita and the Lowland Clans after a slim Matchday 17 victory over the Spaamanian Plijous. It completes Turori's sweep over the Plijous in the qualifying rounds and, with just one Matchday to play, second placed Turori can no longer be caught by fourth placed Ropa-Topia, clinching the Eels qualification for the finals for the first time since World Cup 28.

The flock still have one match to play, and many will expect to see a weakened lineup as Jualiar Vumaou looks to rest his top cocoabo's ahead of the grueling task that is World Cup Group Play which awaits the Eels, who are likely to be unfavored no matter who they are drawn up against. However, it may not be an easy task for Turori on the final matchday as they are paired up with a Marion Oaks 2 team who stole two points from them with a matchday nine draw.




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 1
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/spaamanianplijous.gif Spaamanian Plijous 0




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story
The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43) :: [0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83) :: [0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94) :: [1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141) :: [2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177) :: [3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219) :: [4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255) :: [5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295) :: [6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334) :: [7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375) :: [8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407) :: [9] :: Flock in Florida Falter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11869660&postcount=444) :: [10] :: Flock Back on Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875294&postcount=485) :: [11] :: Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879759&postcount=513) :: [12] :: Defense Collapses as Eels Fall to Second (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11882406&postcount=542) :: [13] :: Naked Topian's Left Limp (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11888865&postcount=580) :: [14] :: Vumaou no show Lovisa lose Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893258&postcount=606) :: [15] :: Vikings Sunk (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11896164&postcount=627) :: [16] :: Unbeaten No More (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11901186&postcount=654) :: [17] :: Flock Plijing to Vilita (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11906587&postcount=680)

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/bsd-online.png

Top of the heap
Lions keep heads firmly in the game

Mild celebration was sparked throughout Bedistan today after the Lions' 3-2 win over Errinundera officially clinched first place in the group.

The home team seemed to be playing significantly better football in the first half of the match, but the theme of the match was certainly the Lions' corner kick skills. All three of Bedistan's goals in the match, one in the first half and two in the second, came as the direct result of a corner kick. Team captain Parker Law rang the scoreboard twice, with Felicity Wilson scoring the game winner ten minutes from the end.

Wilson remarked after the match, "It was a lot of fun, and as I expected it wasn't easy. Errinundera and Bedistan have played against each other since decades before I was even born, so there's a certain level of familiarity and they know a lot of our tricks. But it seems we found their defensive weakness today and it paid off.

Parker Law didn't comment much on the match itself, but still had something to say. "The thing I found most intriguing about the trip was the sacred 'tree' in Bonang. Somehow I can't really fathom why people would worship a man-made object. Well, all right, I take that back, I could see people in the UCS doing it, but not Errinundrians. That's off the record, by the way. You aren't gonna print that, are you?"

We also asked up-and-coming midfielder Bekk Sherman which team she would prefer to qualify: Errinundera or Nedalia. "Wow, that's a tough choice," she mused. "Obviously, both nations are great friends of Bedistan. Nedalia are our neighbors and fellow Lions. But at the same time, I can't help but think of what a great success story the potoroos have been so far in this qualifying run. And I'm one of those people that always cheers for the underdog. Well, except when they're playing us, of course. So I'll probably be cheering for Errinundera."

Finally, Bedistan national team manager Vanessa Carpenter was asked if she had anything to say to the Bazalonia team. Carpenter didn't say a word, but instead responded by merely sticking out her tongue.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/errinundera.gif ERRINUNDERA 2
rosaniel 8'; silvu 40'
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/bedistan.gif BEDISTAN 3
Law 25', 56'; Wilson 83'

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Marion Oafs 2 Caught With Their Pants Down
Although there's nothing embarrassing about being caught with your pants down, if that happens literally (I should know, and that reminds me, autographed pictures of me at the match against Turori are still available here), but losing with 6 goals to 1, that is something to be seriously embarrassed about.

Anyway, there is still one qualifying match left, against the Lovisa Losers. It should be an easy win, although sadly a win may still not mean we will qualify for the World Cup really. *sigh* That stupid draw against the Spruitland Stupids should have been a win, then we would be certain of qualification now, but nooo, they had to score that stupid goal :-(
At least it wasn't me who let that ball in; although I must admit there was not much Karolien could have done either to stop that goal... so I guess we can't do more than hope the Spruitland Stupids lose from the Fmjphreax.

posted by mEl_23 - 15 comments


Older entries can be found in the Archive: Here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11848995&postcount=311), and here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11870168&postcount=449)

Peter Baloch stared at the screen labeled “DEPARTURES” at Sonoma Center International Airport. Every other time he had been through this terminal, it was filled with destinations like Jhanna, Sonoma City, Timiocato, and Alikki-Corra. But today, it seemed that the only place anyone could go was Everton City.

As he wondered what could have prompted such a decision, hundreds of people clad in blue and silver ran through the terminal entrance. As they made their way towards him, he began to feel like he was sitting in Anaphase Alchemy Stadium. He found a bench along one of the walls and pulled out his PDA. After a bit of research, he realized what was going on—the Panthers had just won the Capitalizt Super Cup, and almost everyone there was heading to see the Capitalizts play Krytenia tonight for first place in their World Cup qualifying group. Though he wondered how many of the fans actually had tickets for the match, he decided it was better not to ask and head back to his office. He walked into a bathroom, and hit the “RETURN” button on his teleporter.

Inside the Marauder locker, the team gathers for the pre-match prep talk, with all the players on a knee, and circled around Revtron and Titenburg.

"This is it lads, this is why you train for 10 hours a day, this is why you sacrifice your social life, this is why all other teams will come to fear you. You are in control of your destiny, with only the feeble backwards mortals between you and the glory that is yours.

It is true that many in our country, perhaps even in this locker room doubted our abilities and chances when the groupings came out, but look at what you have done. You defeated the fifth ranked team in the world, make quick work out of the Dorians, dismantled newcomers, and vyed valiantly with squads much tougher than you, and still you have perservered. This will be your time, as you prove all the critics wrong.

Even if things go wry with the Dynamo game and we do not earn a berth into the Proper, you are all going to go down in the Marauder lore. Never before had we defeated a top 30 squad, and then we defeated two this tournament. These will be days you can tell your children and grandchildren about, and say "I was there, I was a part of something quite magical." You will be treated as heros everywhere in the ESF for the rest of your lives.

So it comes down to this my squad, my friends, my mates, do you want it? That is what seperates the champions from the failures, the heart and desire. I know I want it, I want it bad. I want this qualification soo bad, that I will personal pay each and everyone of your bills for the next year if we get this. Ride the wind to victory, ride that wind!!!"

The team pauses to send their prayers to Elune and begin to make towards the pitch, for warm ups. As the crowd roars, and with the festivities bound to take place afterwards if the team did make it, Revtron stepped back and soaked in all win, thinking of how wonderful it will be when the Marauders qualify year after year.

'Starters' disappoint

Jenji Y wanted to know where the Orange-Blues would have been without the help if the lower leagues and despite the wishes of Hexatux decided for a lineup in which the talents of the fiirst league played. The results against Tynelia can be best described by 'didn't happen!' All we can hope for is that the rejistanians will remember this shame for a long time (because normally the best way to forget a shameful result is to be overshadowed by something even more disgraceful). Tynelia won 1:0 and it was a well-earned win. Only I Les'he's saves kept the Orange-Blues in the game for most of the match. [...]

---
Meanwhile in a remote Rejistanian kalesa (look up "kali mer'ra*" in wikipedia.rj to see a picture of it):

The crazy scientist is wearing a more respectable outfit this time as he is in the office of the Meeamnasil police. The singular was intended: all policework here takes place in one room. Police officer Syku Kansu was nearing retirement age quickly. he is a bit overweight, has a long beard and a northern accent. He walks a bit slower because he was wounded by a bullet when he still worked in KaMaRi. "Okay, now what was stolen?"
"My drugs, about one hundred-thousand lil'kansu'ny**, a suitcase full of books - and a device, I invented."
"What kind of device?"
"It is in a box, lots of scales and buttons on it. All captioned in Himeran alphabet."
"How big is it?"
The crazy scientist shows the approximate dimensions.
"Can you tell me what it does?"
"That is classified!"
"Is there any way to detect it if it is working?"
"That is classified! But it is important that it does not fall in the wrong hands."

OOC:
* "Hole"
** 110 USDollars

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

Den of Destruction

Page 1:
Panel 1:

In the top left corner "when we last left SuperDude" was displayed as Infotext in the top left corner, otherwise it was exactly the same as the the last story panel in the previous comic... Adrians Leg's had locked SuperDude's leg's up in a hold and Adrian was partly sitting on the feet and partly on the legs of a now prone SuperDude. The Sword was in his hand and it was ready to come crashing down and kill SuperDude for good. Louise, who was watching this in shocked silence next. "Silence Woman, you will be next. But I'll have a bit of fun with you first." Will SuperDude find a way to get out of this, or will this be the end of SuperDude and his comic, as Adrian said, forever.

Panel 2:

"I'm not as weak as you think I am." Stated SuperDude still seemingly struggling under the domination of Adrian, the Golden Lion, in the position he was in. Other the SuperHeroes were trying get get their way out of their predicaments to help SuperDude but no avail. Louise was in shock yelling at the man... "Get off of him you maniac!" "Oh,Louise, Louise. He's never going to marry you, so why bother." The Tonkrypite Sword was perched over SuperDude ready to come down whenever Adrian aka, the Golden Lion so desired.

Panel 3:

Putting his arms up over his shoulders SuperDude used his legs to propel Adrian through the air, dropping the Tonkrypite sword as he flew through the air Adrian screamed out "Arrggghh, Damn you!" the sword was twirling in mid air and only seemed inches from above SuperDude's face. The SuperHeroes Where all eager to go out there and help SuperDude but they couldn't as they where looked up in cages that nullified their powers.

Page 2:
Panel 4:

The Sword landed on the hard ground, it had started to smash into little pieces as it collapsed under it's own weight. Tonkrypite despite being deadly to SuperDude has one major weakness any real lateral movement causes it to shatter into thousands of unusable flakes SuperDude was actually well away from the sword as it Shattered to millions of pieces infact you could see him in the distance extremely blured indicating that the focus was on the sword and telling thereaders that indeed SuperDude was away from it.

Panel 5:

Adrian had been flung against a nearby wall and was slowly picking himself off the ground. "You have made a fatal Mistake SuperDude." said Adrian as he pressed another button. "Now we all are going to die!" he stated. Red lights lit the area up. "He's activated the Self-Destruct sequence! Help!" said Louise. SuperDude was too busy using the last of his un-drained power to free SuperClaymore using his eye lasers. SuperDude looked extremely tired but he still had enough power to destroy SuperClaymores lock.

Panel 6:

"You know what to do." said SuperDude to SuperClaymore as SuperDude rested on the walls of the underground base... "Need sunlight." he added quietly. SuperClaymore was busy freeing the other SuperHeroes starting with SuperTux. "You know even with your combined might you will never succeed!" he pulls out a gun that he had hidden. Of course it is well known that bullets do nothing to superheroes they can either absorb the impact effort lessly, have some sort of shield that blocks and just can easily dodge out of the way.

Page 3:
Panel 7:

Adrian put the gun to his head and fired. *BANG!* A red of explosion of brains and blood came out of the left side (from the readers point of view) of Adrian's head as the other side had the gun pressed up against against his skull. Louise especially was in shock "Oh, my..." she said. "What a deluded man..." thought SuperDude but was too much incapacitated to actually say it.

Panel 8:

SuperTux made his way to what looked looked liked a computer console and stating, "There's a Wireless LAN here. I'm trying to hack into it." "Hurry up stated an annoyed mouse that was suddenly dropped onto Louise's hair. Who of course freaked firstly at there was a mice in her hair and secondly that the mouse could talk. "Okay... I'm now on the Wireless network, the encryption wasn't that hard." He said. "Hah he used Gill Bates latest Scenic OS. Where's trout?" added SuperTux as it looked like he was just standing infront of the computer terminal. Not that the Robotic tux needed to be infront of it because of the Wireless LAN.

Panel 9:

"What would an explosition do to the city above?" asked SuperMonk who was also now out of his cage. "Lots of Explosives, will destroy 3 city block radius." replied SuperTux as he continued to hack into the Scenic system that controled the self destruct mechanism. "In his death destroying many others, we need to save these people's lives so we can save their souls later!" exclaimed SuperMonk. "Ahhh... we go.. Full Access to Scenic. That wasn't hard, really." stated SuperTux as he had finally gained entrance to the computer system. A green coloured "Access Granted" Appeared on the screen.

Page 4:
Panel 11:

"Okay.. got it. Found the controller to the self destruct sequence! Shutting down now..." The screen on the console turned all blue with white text the well known 'Blue Screen of Death' that appeared on all Microcosm OSs and Scenic is apparently no exception. "Fsck! Scenic as expected BSODed." he exclaimed. We need someone to gain manually shut isolate the explosives. "Just show me where!" stated SuperMouse who had now gotten on the ground and enlarged himself to talk with SuperTux.

Panel 12:

"Follow that pipe and you should be right." said SuperTux indicating a large red painted pipe running above them. "Bit ethrough all the wires you can.. I had already managed to shut down the counter measures while the computer has down but it may soon reboot and re-instate the security so be careful." said tux as SuperClaymore finally started to free Louise and then onto the Football/soccer players.

Panel 13:

Some infotext stated that "2 minutes later" SuperMouse was in the red-pipe, it was large and also it was red inside as well as outside. A number of wires where in the pipe but some cold be extremely nasty. So the Mouse went on though the Pipe and further down into the depths of the underground cavern.

Page 5:
Panel 14:

"Meanwhile back with the others.." stated some infotext SuperClaymore was carrying SuperDude out through a door that had obviously been destroyed door following him was SuperMonk and SuperTux, SuperGnome had not been apparently found but they progressed onwards no even comment about SuperGnome however in this part of the comic. Louise and the four footballers are returning with the SuperHeroes as well.

Panel 15:

Everyone was outside on the street near the industrial complex SuperGnome had just walked out of the industrial centre making everyone apart from SuperMouse currently accounted for as a smaller than expected explosion rocked the industrial centre. an it started collapsing in on itself everyone gazed in amazement wondering why the explostion was so small and what happened to SuperMouse. Notably also the World Cup Trophy was safe in the hands of SuperGnome as he came out with it.

Panel 16:

SuperMouse was there suddenly making himself large again outside of the the now ruined industrial complex with a large grin on his face. "What happened?" asked SuperMonk there infact was only a fraction of the explosives as we thought. Someone skimped." "So you destroyed his technology and all those Golden Lions so no one else could try and do what he did." wondered SuperTux. "Exactly.

Page 6:

Panel 17:

Competiton closes soon you don't have much time to finish your characters. Send them in now via email to "competition@bc.com.bz" or mailed to BC Comics P.O.Box 252 Drago, Bazalonia, 2652. Thank you. Competition closes soon!

pictures of all the previous comic covers made up the rest of this page.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

Okay, so he lied. If the would have said how the invention could be detected, its purpose would have been figured out within half a second. He did not want that. however he did realize in the office that the device could be detected. a short time later, he has created his own detector for handwavium and godmoddium, the main components of his invention. The hollywood-esque display of the detector showed a green dot slowly moving away. It took the mad scientist a few seconds to realize where this dot went to: Ratansa Amekanha, the old military airport.

The crazy scientist took a futuristic gun, the detector and a spring drum (but forgot the purse at home) and jumped into his weirdly tweaked car. the car was better than most SUVs and there were only very few obstacles, it could not get past - one of them being traffic jam and exactly that was what he encountered. "Time to go beta!" he thought, pressed on a button and the car started to fly - past the traffic jam and towards the old airport. There, the car landed, blocking the runway and preventing the plane from taking off. The plane broke hard and came to a halt directly in front of the car. The detector showed the box directly in the plane.

"Freeze, give me that nenerivanizer and no one gets hurt!" the mad scientist shouted

The pilot moved the plane backwards, the scientist shot into the tire. The plane tilted as the wheel disappeared. "Freeze!" the scientist shouted.

A while later, the scientist drove home with the device in his trunk. His gun needed new charging after he dissolved plane and pilots. His evil plan would not be stopped.

Davies silences his critics with comfortable win
Back to winning ways against The Mice of Miceland

Yes after weeks of growing pressure on Davies he and his team delivered the goods. With many in the media and thousands of fans everywhere called for Davies' head, and attacking his decision to rest many key players for the past two matches. Davies has been defending his decision by continually stating that the players have a hugely hectic shedule this year and that with qualification already assured there was no pressing need to play the best team possible and give a chance to those players who haven't had the chance yet to show what they have to offer. When he named the team before the match he said beforehand that he wasn't caving into pressure and that the two game rest was what he had planned from the very start. He mentioned Steven McCabe's performaces had merited him a place in the starting lineup replacing Nick Daynes.

The match got off to a quick start with Armaos breaking the deadlock after only three minutes after Walsh was brought down in the box by Reepicheap, and Armaos coolly slotted the ball home, with WinslowMouse diving the right way but the ball was just out of reach of the gloved mouse. This seems to start the animosity between Walsh and Reepicheap that lasted until 69 minutes into the game whereby the referee had no choice but to give a second yellow to Reepicheap and send him for an early bath even thought he protested something about honour. Only seven minutes later Armaos stuck from another set piece this time from a free-kick just outside the box. The Mice of Miceland seemed to be lacking in any sort of drive not making it past the halfway line at any point during the first half. However with The Islands of Qutar content to sit back at 2-0 The Mice came back strong after half-time almost catching the sleeping defence off guard with ChurchMouse just scraping the bar with a powerful shot. However this inspired some goal-scoring at the other end, with Walsh managing to bamboozle the entire Miceland defence and slot the ball past the helpless WinslowMouse. Armoas however not to be outshone coverted a corner by performing and acrobatic overhead kick. This began an epic duel of footballing talent to which in the 82nd minute the winner was decided with the defence closed up tighter than a very tight object, perhaps and clam, Armaos mananged to score a goal from about forty yards out. After the match he admitted that it was a hit and hope shot as he wasn't getting close to goal with the Miceland defence, but what a goal!

You got goal problems? We feel bad for you, son

We got 99 problems, but our strikers ain't one

NEW MONTREAL - As we head into the final day of qualfiers, Billy Corcoran and André Darcy have been asked "not to even show up," according to Corcoran. "Coach told us that he wasn't going to risk injury."

Indeed, after an anemic and sputtering offensive showing from a doddering Gilles Villeneuve and an inexperienced Corcoran during the course of World Cup 30, the sight of Corcoran and Darcy clicking together on the pitch throughout qualifiers has warmed the hearts of many diehard Paladins. They have clicked to the tune of 30 goals combined (16 for Corcoran, 14 for Darcy) spearheading a 53 goal qualification drive.

They have largely managed to gloss over the failings of the Paladins back two as well as the youthful bumblings of Vyacheclav Kamchatsky in goal, replacing the Rock of Dorion, Paul Chasson. He hasn't been bad - quite the contrary, he's gotten his fair share of highlight-reel saves - but still, Paul Chasson was Paul Chasson.

The midfield is also a patchwork of savvy, although elderly veterans (Marc Tessier, Albany Plattsburgh), talented athletes in the prime of their lives (Fabrice Labranche, Petr Hunyadi) and rookies on the international stage (Orestes Jones, Lucien St-Germain.) They are still trying to gel as a unit, although Paladins fans had better get used to the turnover, with everyone but Jones and St-Germain possible candidate for retirement.

In short, the entire side's hopes of maybe making it past the second round in World Cup play rest entirely on the shoulders of Darcy and Corcoran. Ah well, we could do worse.

PALADINS 2 - Corcoran 56, Darcy 88
THE MUSHROOM KINGSHIP 0

- Matchday 18 RP Cutoff -


MD 18 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907604&postcount=19)

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vilita/rp/wcxxxi/vilc31.gif

31 Teams headed to ViLC


Thirty-One nations are now packing their bags for World Cup xXxI in Vilita and the Lowland Clans, as the Qualifying stage has now been completed. Additionally, one nation who has qualified for the World Cup for the first time and been invitated to ViLC has apparently opted instead to travel to Vitla. At press time, the location of 'Vitla' was not known, but it is widely expected that there is no World Cup of Football/Soccer taking place there, and that upon their arrival in 'Vitla', The Cuation National team will realize it's mistake and eventually end up in either Vilita or The Lowland Clans, completing the 32 nation field for the event.

World number one Starblaydia had some trouble with the surprising Qazox, but still ended top of their group for easy passage into Vilita & The Lowlands clans, joined by Qazox. Raging Penguines, who hate performing well, were on the verge of Qualification heading into the final matchday. After a quick downfall from Eseck and the dissapointing performance of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, the battle for third was between the Penguins and perennial overachievers Quakmybush. The bush were level with Raging Penguins on points and goal differential going into the final day of competition, with Raging Penguins having scored two goals more than their Quakmybushian counterparts. Despite an upset victory over Starblaydia on Matchday 18, Quakmybush could not get the job done as Raging Penguins stormed to victory over Spindomia to secure passage to World Cup xXxI.

Advancing: Starblaydia, Qazox, Raging Penguins
Missing Out: Quakmybush, Eseck, Spindomia, Andossa se Mitrin Vega



Defending World Cup Champions Bedistan coasted through the qualifying campaign, with the only blemishes coming from the most unlikely of sources, Baptism of Fire champions Backwardistan and the now-dissassembled nation of Risa-Aramour. The comical styles of Bazalonia have swept the entire community, and they've been performing on the field as well, finishing just behind the defending world cup champions in second place in the group table. After seeming down and out midway through qualification, the other Lions of the group, Nedalia, came fighting back with a passion, putting Errinundera on its heels going into the final matchday. After being solidly in the top 3 for much of a very impressive qualification campaign, Errinundera found itself just 2 points ahead after a proud defeat against Bedistan, and only thanks to a surprise draw against the Reanimated States by Nedalia, setting up a nerve-racking final matchday for both. Fortunately for Errinundera, they were able to secure victory over Backwardistan to advance to the World Cup finals at the expense of the Nedalia Lions.

Advancing: Bedistan, Bazalonia, Errinundera
Missing Out: Nedalia, Backwardistan




Four time World Cup champions Rejistania were pipped to the top spot in Group 3 by regionmates Schiavonia who look set to reclaim their place in the World Cup's elite in their third incarnation, and perhaps even perform well as part of the elite. Going from the high ranks to the high input, the epic battle of qualification was for the third place in Group 3. Az-Cz and Tynelia, who combined for a large portion of the total media output during the qualification campaigns, were stuck with just one qualification place to divide between the two of them. Az-Cz was up the challenge, downing the once formidible Dance 2 Revolution by a 2-1 scoreline, rendering Tynelia's victory irrelevant as the 4th seed missed out once again.

Advancing: Schiavonia, Rejistania, Az-Cz
Missing Out: Tynelia, Green Wombat, Dance 2 Revolution




Commerce Heights and Krytenia were off to the races as Qualifying began, and looked to be headed for an 8-0-0 showdown on Matchday 9 before Krytenia dropped two points on the 8th matcdhay. The two met again on matchday 18 with the winner taking home the group title, with Krytenia taking home the honors in a 4-2 result. Demot earned a crucial point on Matchday 17 against Dorian and Sonya to move a point ahead of masters Elves Security Forces in the race for qualification. With bottom side Dj8989 on the cards for the Elves, zero points and a 1:11 goal ratio, it was sure to be a close affair. Ironically, it would be the puppet Demot who would emerge with a 2-0 upset victory over Cataduanes to pip their master nation to the final qualifying position.

Advancing: Krytenia, Commerce Heights, Demot
Missing Out: Elves Security Forces, Sativaville, Cataduanes, Dorian and Sonya




In the most dominating performance of all of World Cup xXxI qualifying, World Cup 29 Champions Casari dominated their less than difficult Group 5 opposition to end the campaign as the only unbeaten team, with just a lone draw to blemish their qualification record. A further 10 points behind was The Islands of Qutar who advanced in second despite a late campaign loss to Okielahoma after already securing qualification ahead of third placed Northern Caesarea.

Advancing: Casari, The Islands of Qutar, Northern Caesarea
Missing Out: Anastasiana, Okielahoma, Vuam and Isma




Defensive stalwarts Cuation were the surprise package of a mostly lackluster Group 6, battling with the New Montreal States for the top spot. Holding the honors of fewest goals conceded for most of the cup, Cuation qualified for its first finals appearance with matches to spare, allowing them to focus on the battle for first place, but New Montreal States would take the spot. Top seed Tadjikistan, meanwhile, left it late, going into the final matchday just 3 points clear of challenging Aurendia, despite only losing one game throughout the first 17 matchdays. But it all went wrong for the top seed as they dropped just their second defeat of the campaign to New Montreal States, and their inferior goal differential allowed Aurendia to sneak into the third spot with their win over Haraki.

Advancing: New Montreal States, Cuation, Aurendia
Missing Out: Tadjikistan, The Mushroom Kingship




After many cups unknown, the originators of the NationStates World Cup, Ariddia, are back on top of their game and one of the favorites to take the honors in Vilita and The Lowland Clans after a late rise to superiority in one of the closely fought groups in qualification. For much of the cup, the top 6 were seperate by as few as three points, with nations moving up and down in the standings frequently. But the top teams eventually prevailed, with Ariddia and Jeruselem topping the group, while political scenarios in Chicanada gave Geisenfried easy passage to the finals over Magnus Valerius and Kericia.

Advancing: Ariddia, Jeruselem, Geisenfried
Missing Out: Magnus Valerius, Kericia, The Macabees




Attacking-Minded Liverpool England topped Group 8 in commanding fashion, finishing with more Goals Differential than most nations had goals scored. Finding the back of the net an incredible 78 times throughout the competition, the World Cup 8 and 24 champions led former Baptism of Fire champions Bettia and typically third placed Milchama to the World Cup Finals. It looked at times like it would be tough for the Milchamans, with an early charge by Alasdair I Frosticus and a late charge by the Lisburn Mateys finally being thwarted when Milchama won the head to head battle with the Mateys, all be finalizing the table in Group 8.

Advancing: Liverpool England, Bettia, Milchama
Missing Out: Lisburn Mateys, Alasdair I Frosticus, Yafor 2




Group 9 was a relatively stacked affair with old rivalries and new rivalries accross the board in the race for qualification. Despite a charge from Tynelian puppet Tessan, Squornshelous, The Archregimancy and Spaam held on for the expected 1-2-3 finish, while perennial under achievers Wentland and Rorysville were left to wonder where it all went wrong, finishing well adrift of the top 3.

Advancing: Squornshelous, The Archregimancy, Spaam
Missing Out: Tessan, Rorysville, Wentland, Iansisle




The big story in Group 10 was the dissapointing performance of Fmjphoenix. the top seed in the group suffered from never having a proper team sheet prepared in time to hand to the referees, and general confusion on the pitch due to never knowing who was eligible to play or not. Stepping up in their absense was the Island Emirate of Turori, who's flock of Cocoabo's got the job done, and remained unbeaten until a Matchday 16 defeat to second-seeded Oliverry, and upstart Ropa-Topia who's blog reporting inspired a late charge and significant pressure on Spruitland as the two headed for afinal matchday stand off, with Spruitland needing a result against the underperforming Fmjphoenix to keep from being pipped to Vilita & Turori by the less experienced Ropa-Topia side. But Spruitland was able to record the win they needed, 1-0 over Fmjphoenix, narrowly escaping embarassment and securing their place in the finals.

Advancing: Oliverry, Turori, Spruitland
Missing Out: Fmjphoenix, Ropa-Topia

QAZOXIAN TIMES

10-0??? THIS IS CORRECT RIGHT? 10-0?!?!

That's right folks, 10-0 was the final score as Qazox shook off any doubts about themselves being in the World Cup with an astonishing 10-0 obliteration of Assegai Developments.

Qazox set teams records for most goals scored in a half, (7), Goals in a match, (10), goals by one player (5, Kyle Horton), largest victory margin (10) and most goal scorers, (6).

The scoring start quickly as Horton took the opening kickoff and scored just 40 second into what would become a historic victory. Horton also scored the 2nd gaol, in the 13th minute giving the Black Oxen all the goals they would need. But whether it was Assegai Developments just no caring or Qazox' offense, the goals just kept coming. Regina Reginald scored a goal in the 17th to make it 3-0, and then just 2 minutes later, Kyle Horton finsihed off his hat-tick to make it 4-0.

Head Coach Reggie Hassok, promptly subbed in 2nd string Keeper Greg Wolfen to get his some playing time and took out midfielders Hugh Dansie and Christian Likens, subbing them with Fernando Turek and Alexrandra Hotep, but the subs couldn't stem the overwhelming tide as Turek and Hotep each scoed, in the 34th and 39th minutes, to run the lead up to 6-0. Kyle horton, despite being the only Attacker left on the field, scored his 4th goal just before the half to make it 7-0.

Qazox in the 2nd half basically tried to "run out the clock", but Assegai Developments, just couldn't keep the ball out of its backfield, as in the 50th minute, Kyle Horton scored his record 5th goal to give the Black Oxena 8-0 advantage. In the 70th minute, Hiram Schultz scored off a corner kick that was deflected off an AD player to make it 9-0, and the last goal came off of Yossel Griffin's foot in the 84th minue providing the final 10-0 score.

So on to the World Cup for the Black Oxen. The Group Draw is scheduled for later in the week and hopefully it will be a good one. These Qualifiers have shown that almost anything can happen as Qazox will be joined by the following 1st timers in the Cup:

Raging Penguins
Az-cz
Demot
Northern Caesarea
Aurendia (???)


Hopefully with the Black Oxen's impressive qualifing run, a top seed during the draw will allow Qazox to have one of these other 1st timers in, thereby increasing the chance to advance to the Round of 16. Good luck to all that qualified and see you in the CUP!!

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: It's offical Sativaville will have to wait 4 years to get another chance at the World Cup. Despite a 2-1 win over the Swedisah meatballs of Ikeea, Demot's 2-0 win over their former Colonial overlords Cataduanes eliminated the Stoners.

OVerall a good cup, albeit one filled with tradegy. Still the one question is IF..? If Trent Rauda didn'd die, if the Stoners could have upset one fo the top seeds, If we were in a different group.

The Stoners will most likely head to the Cup of Harmony, but the host for that tourny has not yet been set. Sativaville is expected to be one of the long shots, but with a decnt draw, could do well.

DOWNLOADING DAY EIGHTEEN SCORES processing....processing...complete.

ERROR.. ERROR..ERROR.. NO SUCH FILE FOUND...


Joe lokked at the screen in amazement. "no.." he thought.. "damn they must have found out that i hacked into the network."

But Joe Gurt had seen enough. "This team is to soft.. I'm going to take this team to the next level... but only if i can get out of this jail.."

(scene pulls back showing Joe sitting in a maximum security prision, on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean.)

Paladins Send Tigers Home

Great day to be a Paladin

NEW MONTREAL - The Paladins got one back yesterday, blanking our bitter rivals Tadjikistan 3-0. A traditional riot of victory broke out. No more need be said.

Az-cz Scroll
Dance 2 Revolution
Em-Nm

D2R overwhelmed by Pink & Green, Robbers steal qualification spot

With qualification up for grabs for the Gnomes and nothing on the line for Dance 2 Revolution there were plenty of tickets available and Gnomes fans took advantage. The stadium was awash in Pink & Green and if one didn't know they might have assumed it was an Az-cz home match.

Pizelkaxrovsky was back healthy and with him in the lineup and the incredible fan support the Gnomes looked confident and energized straight from the start.

The Gnomes quickly took control with Pizelkaxrovsky directing traffic and the two wingers making nice run after nice run. Only a fine bit of keeping from the back kept the Gnomes from scoring. Time after time a Gnomes shot would be parried away by the keeper. Despite rolling up a 14-3 shot advantage at the half the Gnomes couldn't take advantage and the game went to half scoreless.

However it didn't stay that way for long. In the 52nd minute Kn-Dg earned a freekick at the 25 yard mark. Pizelkaxrovsky confidently stepped up and corkscrewed the ball into the back of the net.

However D2R looked to give Tynelia fans hope as they quickly answered back. After a nice tackle by Haji-Me he looked to outlet the ball upfield to Zax-Im. However Zax-Im stumbled on his own feet allowing for a quick D2R counter attack. Despite the poor form they had been displaying they still had the skill to take advantage and the score was back even on exactly the hour mark.

Pizelkaxrovsky however fought back to prove just why he is developing a reputation as one of the absolute best players in the world. In the 74th minute he held the ball and watched as both defenders snuck forward beautifully. He swung the ball out to Haji-Me who quickly crossed the ball back over to Ml-Dni who blasted in the second Gnomes goal and sent the Gnomes fans into a state of absolute delight.

At this point the team looked to go for the stall taking out both wingers for Lo-Ro and At-Zm. Although there were still 15 minutes plus stoppage time, the team was able to execute their stall successfully and hold off the D2R attacks from that point on. It was an excrutiatinly long 20 minutes for Gnomes supporters, but in the end they had succeeded.

Tynelia, who was chasing them did succeed in pulling out a win at Green Wombat, but the Gnomes head to head victories had proven to be enough as they now move on to their first ever world cup proper. Tynelia has nothing to hang their head about as they made a very strong final run. We wish them success as they proceed to the Cup of Harmony, but we celebrate the Gnomes advancing to the World Cup Finals.

Stats
Score Az-cz 2 Dance 2 Revolution 1
Scorers 52 Pizelkaxrovsky 75 Ml-Dni
Shots Az-cz 21 Dance 2 Revolution 7
Possession Az-cz 60% Dance 2 Revolution 40%
Corners Az-cz 2 Dance 2 Revolution 0

Jo-El: Congratulations to the team on this momentous win. Here to join us to talk about it, are coach Hawdon, Zax-Im, and once again man of the Match Pizelkaxrovsky.

Hawdon: Wow. What can I say. We really took advantage of our home matches and played great down the stretch. Seven wins in our last nine matches. Just incredible. And once again when the cards were down today and we had to get it done, the players got it done. It's validating to see our hard work pay off.

Az-cz reporter 1: What were your feelings as the ref whistled the end of time and you finally knew for certain that you were going to making the trip to Vilita or The Lowland clans.

Hawdon: For me it was a sense of validation. I wasn't able to accomplish this with Bazalonia, but to take Levesque's work last time around and push that further towards the world cup in only their second time out validates me as a coach and the hard work of the players.

Zax-Im: Pure exhiliration. As one of the older guys on the team, it's not clear how many chances I have at this. So to be able to definitely advance and take part in the world cup is a huge thrill.

Pizelkaxrovsky: Honestly, I felt relief more than anything. After the match against Green Wombat there wouldn't have been any excuse for not advancing. Then being too sick to play against Schiavonia and letting my teammates down, I knew that if something went wrong we'd all be crushed. So I was just happy that we didn't cough up what we worked so hard for.

Az-cz reporter 2: Zax-Im what happened on the Dance 2 Revolution goal?

Zax-Im: What happened was I stepped on a loose piece of turf and lost my footing. It was just an unfortunate break. Still I'm incredibly relieved my teammates didn't let that be a killing mistake of mine.

Az-cz reporter 3: Were you suprised by all of the Pink & Green in the stadium today?

Pizelkaxrovsky: Absolutely. We have great fans, but travelling to D2R is not exactly a short trip. Still they came out and represented us incredibly well. It was a huge boost today and helped us out.

Az-cz reporter 4: What are the things you think you need to work on going forward?

Hawdon: Well clearly we need to improve our play against the best teams. We had 12 wins and 2 draws against teams that didn't qualify and 1 draw and 3 multiple goal losses against teams that did. Which is to saywe basically continued the Az-cz tradition of beating the teams we shoud and struggling against the top. But all that's left is the top, so clearly to move forward, we're going to need to beat some teams we shouldn't.

Frank Dee: Do you have anything to say to people back in Bazalonia?

Hawdon: I'd like to thank the people who've supported me. I'd also like to point out that now anything the people who derided me said can be put to rest. Yes I got a TON of help from coach Khim. And yes it helps to have a world class player like Pizelkaxrovsky. But nothing they can say back home changes the fact that we coached this team to a world cup finals over a strong bunch of competition.

Az-cz reporter 5: When did you really believe that you had a good chance to qualify?

Zax-Im: Well the first win over Tynelia started to give us confidence and the draw with Rejistania did as well but it was that second win over Tynelia when it really started to look possible.

Az-cz reporter 6: Coach Hawdon, any possible changes to the roster going ahead into the world cup?

Hawdon: Barring an unfortunate injury in -League play, no. We thought that this was the best roster we had. And they validated our belief. So we won't be tinkering with that.

Jo-El: Well we want to let them get back to celebrating so we'll finish up with one Voice of the Fan question. This one comes from Hpo-Buz of Az-cz city. He writes "What do you plan on doing after these qualifiers are finished?"

Hawdon: Relax and watch a lot of -League until the draw is announced and then start scouting heavily the teams in our group and try to come up with game plans to beat them.

Zax-Im: Well there is still the -League season. And of course spend some time with my family.

Pizelkaxrovsky: I'd like to get over and check out some of the surfing in Vilita. I'm hoping to get drawn there. Me and Z-Boy hit off when we did Read Vil Read, so it would be fun to get over there and watch him in action.

Jo-El: Once again congratulations to the team on a wonderful qualifying run. We'll see you again in a few months in the world cup proper in Vilita or The Lowland Clans.

<A www.yourtube.com video>

Short good looking redhead in a little black dress

"Hey, it's Dazza's last yourtube video for the World Cup 31 qualifiers. Dazza's going out in the town to celebrate with the team! We've got a nice nightclub lined up for the event. Jeruselem team members, staff, officials, opposing players and fans are all invited. I didn't play today but I wasn't needed as my team beat the team who qualified and these were the reserves. I was organising a party you see. Me, the girls and guys of Jeruselem want to thank our supporters. Hopefully, we'll make the semis! Oh yeah but we have win that group stage and avoid Starblaydia along the way. How do I look?"

<spins around>

"I know you like me - with or without clothes on but no nudity today. Anyway, it's time to party, get drunk and do other fun things. Now, it's the big games - losing is not an option and failure is fatal. The group stage - we somehow escaped being dumped out of the World Cup XXX group stage with a miracle win, beat a team who dumped us out of the last group stage in 29 and then lost to Starblaydia. This time we're going to try harder because we want to be the champs. Jeruselem - three time women's champs but never in real world cup. Dazza's going to her best. Well, time to go. Finn is waiting and we're going to party. Then the hard work. Poor old Nedalia, they just failed to make it."

The Bloco'yce Courier




Oh, Shit.


[This edition of The Bloco'yce Courier was not printed with any articles, due to the massive rioting that resulted in the destruction of the Courier's presses. We apologise for the inconvenience.]

Final Okielahoma Stats

Goal Scorers

Harris 17
Wilson 8
Bateman 4
Lloyd 2
Boatwright 1
Severson 1
Morris 1
Molander 1

Assists


Morris 19
Bateman 6
Boatwright 6
Harris 3
Lloyd 3

Group 5
---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 18 17 1 0 57-14 +43 52
[2] The Islands of Qutar 18 13 3 2 61-19 +42 42
[3] Northern Caesarea 18 12 2 4 40-21 +19 38
4- Okielahoma 18 9 5 4 35-25 +10 32
5- Anastasiania 18 8 4 6 33-28 +5 28
6- The Mice of Miceland 18 5 3 10 22-37 -15 18
7- System Karela 18 5 2 11 17-24 -7 17
8- Vuam and Isma 18 4 4 10 22-35 -13 16
9- Harlesburg 18 3 3 12 19-39 -20 12
10- Ancient Byzantine 18 0 1 17 7-71 -64 1

"Welcome once again to World Cup Sloths, I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone."

"That's it then, a great big long eighteen matchday qualifying campaign is finally over, and Schiavonia, for a team ranked sixteenth at the start, haven't done too badly. Indeed, early indications are that the Sloths will be ranked twelfth going into the World Cup finals in Vilita and The Lowland Clans after their exploits during this campaign."

"And that's eleventh out of the finalists, due to Tadjikistan's failure to qualify."

"So the team continue to push in the right direction, even when they're not trying, it seems. It does seem odd that, after the game against Tynelia, team manager Rodney Lowe said that his players weren't going to be playing to their usual standards. Whether he was bluffing or not, we don't know, but since then the Sloths have overcome every single opponent they have been faced with. Hell, they haven't just beaten them, they've thrashed them, with an overall socre of 18-0 to Schiavonia."

"Well, I talked to Rodney Lowe after the five-nil victory against Nebuleux, and he told me what he thought had happened."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

"Rodney, another convincing victory today. Do you think that the Sloths will have other, perhaps more credible, title contenders fearing your team?"

"Not really. We've come through what wasn't an easy group with a pretty damn good record, but we've only played Rejistania out of the top few teams, and we won one and drew one. So the best probably needent worry yet."

"But you said after the Tynelia game that because we were as good as through, the team were going to relax, beat Algal States or Sel Appa then just give up. So why such convincing victories all of a sudden? Was it a bluff?"

"No, if it were a bluff, then it would be a lie, and I am no liar. I think what happened was a mixture of two things. Firstly, some of the less frequent starters got their chances in these games and wanted to prove themselves. Secondly, and probably more significantly, the players were able to relax and play a more natural game. Teams tend to play better when the pressure is off, and so it has proved over the last few games."

"Meanwhile, Colin Chester has probably made a name for himself more than anyone, his third hat-trick of the campaign today. Is there a better attacking player in World Football?"

"Probably not at the moment. Although you have to remember that Colin is just part of a very successful three-pronged attack. Seamus Bradley doesn't score many, but he is a perfect complement for the other two, while Jermaine Edwards has also been excellent for us this cup so far."

"And so, onto the finals. Anyone that you would prefer to play?"

"Probably one of the hosts if they are top seeded. The current hosts are probably two of the lowest ranked hosts we've had for a while, and any top twenty nation would fancy their chances against either of them. I'd love a game against Bettia because it would be an excellent test for our defence, who have come on leaps and bounds so far this cup. Finally, one of the lower ranked teams who have made it through. Someone like Aurendia or Demot."

"Well, let's hope for the best in the draw. Finally, who would you least like to come up against?"

"On current form, Casari. They'll win the cup again playing like they are at the moment. Watch out for Az-cz, too. Now they've made it through, there's no real pressure on them to perform, and they could go well."

"Rodney, thank you."

"No problem."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

"So it was the relaxed nature of the team that got them through?"

"It appears so. Which is odd, because the Sloths are one of the most relaxed teams out there to begin with. That's why they usually do well anyway."

"That is a pretty fair point. So are we going to go through all the finalists now and rate their chances?"

"Nope. That's in our post-draw show."

"And are we picking a winner?"

"We did that in our opening show."

"Oh yes."

"So that's it, then?"

"For now, yes."

"OK, well from Fil and myself, goodnight!"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/chicanada.png Chicanada 1-2 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

And a win to clinch it

For their final day of qualifying, the Rouge-et-Noirs travelled to a land in turmoil: Chicanada. A lot has changed since the two teams’ previous encounter. The Chicanadan government has been overthrown – by whom is still unclear – and the country has decended into chaos. The Chicanadan Football Association has already indicated that the team will not participate in the final stages of the Cup, making this one of the most bizarre and pointless matches ever: between a team which has already qualified, and one which has declined to participate further.

The AFA reportedly considered whether or not to travel to the strife-torn country, then decided not to forfeit the match. The game was held in an isolated, still tranquil area of Chicanada, far from the civil conflicts, in a small local stadium. The Ariddian team were accompanied by armed Ariddian soldiers for protection.

“There weren’t many spectators in the stadium,” team captain Hanifah Kyaw said later. “I think perhaps people were afraid to come. Those who were here seemed to want to get away from it all for a while. They were very happy when their team scored a goal. It’s all so sad. . . And so pointless, all this chaos, disrupting people’s lives.”

“It was really weird being here,” fellow player Dave Rider agreed. “And I feel so sorry for all these people trapped here.”

As it turned out, Ariddia finished its qualification attempt on another victory, defeating Chicanada by two goals to one, with Kyaw scoring both of Ariddia’s. There was very little celebrating after the match. In theory, Chicanada has secured a qualifying spot, but that third place will now go to the often amazing players from Geisenfried.

The Rouge-et-Noirs move on confidently into the final stages, having succeeded in strengthening their traditional weak spot: their defence. The team’s defenders have performed well, and goalkeeper Cécile Granville conceded very few goals throughout the second half of qualifying.

Jeruselem are also looking in good shape, concluding their run with a 3-0 win over Geisenfried. Fellow Uhuhlanders Ropa-Topia dominated Lovisa 3-1. . . but it was not quite enough, alas, for a place in the next round. And the very interesting head to head between Errinundera and Backwardistan was in the former’s favour, with the unexciting but sufficient score of 1-0.

And now?

“Our number one objective is to reach the semi-finals,” Melenciuc stated. Then added with a smile: “Our number 2 objective is to win the Cup.”

Mu-Mo: Welcome to a wrap up of the WC31 qualifying. With Jo-El currently out travelling with the team I am subbing for him tonight. Joining me to talk about the qualifiers are former team member Lur-Mn and Az-cz scroll soccer reporter Il-Lur.

Lur-Mn: Let me start by saying congratulation to my friends on the team. We fell short last time around, but I still feel strongly connected to their accomplishment.

Il-Lur: And hats off to the entire Az-cz Football Federation. They did a great job hiring the coaches and getting the organizational stuff together and providing support and the coaches did a great job sculpting this team.

Mu-Mo: Ok let's start with the question of who was the best player on the team?

Lur-Mn: I'm glad you started me off with an easy one. I think everyone knows Pizelkaxrovsky is the best player.

Il-Lur: Agreed. Next?

Mu-Mo: What would you say was the difference that allowed us to get past Tynelia and into the world cup?

Il-Lur: Coaching. We qualified because we beat them head to head twice because of coaching. In Tynelia coach Khim proved to be a genius. And back in Az-cz coach Billington proved to be a dunce. I know it's not nice to call a coach out like that, but it seemed as if he wasn't watching tape of our team. We're just not a team you beat with speed.

Lur-Mn: I'm going to say mental fortitude. This isn't to say that Tynelia isn't mentally tough, cause the way they rallied to pull together results at the end was quite impressive, but we simply were undaunted. We had coach Hawdon's incident in the middle of the schedule, Pizelkaxrovsky getting sick on match day 17 and more 1 goal games than you could shake a stick at, but the team continued to push on through all that.

Mu-Mo: Back to the coaching. How would you rate the coaching job?

Lur-Mn: Awesome. Coach Khim time and time again knew the right moves to make. The subs were generally excellent and there weren't many things that didn't go right. The 4-4-2 experiment when Pizelkaxrovsky went down was the only one, but that was not something they looked to do. I give them high marks.

Il-Lur: Agreed. One thing I'd like to say is that coach Hawdon ought to get more credit than he's getting. Clearly Khim is the tactical genius. But coach Hawdon has a good tactical mind and also did a great job with team morale and focus. There's a definite reason the team really took off after he came back for the first D2R match.

Mu-Mo: Ok. Now let's look at each group and get your thoughts. We'll also be looking at Il-Lur's pre-cup predictions as a point of reference.

<All of these are on screen graphics>

Group 1
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Starblaydia (1) 2. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (7) 3. Qazox (2)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Starblaydia (1) 2. Qazox (3) 3. Raging Penguins (4)

Il-Lur: I clearly was blindsided by the troubles of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, but other than that this group played out basically as I expected. There was a definite sense that this Quakmybush team just didn't have the same cohesion as before.

Lur-Mn: Indeed ASMV falling off was a suprise. And you have to feel for Quakmybush. They came through with a mauling of Starblaydia on the last day but still couldn't get through. And Starblaydia definitely struggled much more than expected. With the talent they have they were able to win their qualifying group. But I think they miss coach Khim more than they expected.

Group 2
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Bedistan (1) 2. Bazalonia (2) 3. Nedalia (4)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Bedistan (1) 2. Bazalonia (2) 3. Errinundera (5)

Lur-Mn: Errinundera was definitely one of the suprise teams this qualifying. They are the lowest ranked team to make it through qualifying successfully. Just slipping past Nedalia.

Il-Lur: I think I did pretty well here. I knew Errinundera would overperform their rank. And Nedalia was very close. Plus I had Bazalonia moving up. But talk about a big upset, Backwardistan ove Bedistan in their first time out. Still got a ways to go, but they could follow in our footsteps of Baptsim of Fire championship one tournament qualification the next. It'll certainly be interesting to watch.

Group 3
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Rejistania (2) 2. Dance 2 Revolution (6) 3. Schiavonia (1)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Schiavonia (3) 2. Rejistania (1) 3. Az-cz (5)

Il-Lur: Well I was fairly off on this group. Schiavonia was better than expected, we really benefited from good coaching and Dance 2 Revolution had a stunningly poor performance following their Cup of Harmony victory.

Lur-Mn: Not really much else for me to say, but I will add this: If Tynelia goes out and gets themself a good coach to replace Billington they'll qualify for the finals in world cup 32.

Group 4
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Krytenia (1) 2. Dorian & Sonya (7) 3. Commerce Heights (2)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Krytenia (1) 2. Commerce Heights (3) 3. Demot (7)

Lur-Mn: One of the more interesting races, with a quite interesting result for that third spot. While Errinundera was slightly lower ranked, Demot was a bigger suprise. Errinundera is an old nation, who just took a break from football. Demot was the fourth place team from our Baptism of Fire. They clearly weren't expected to breakthrough so soon.

Il-Lur: Indeed, they definitely snuck up on everyone. And what happened to Dorian & Sonya. While Demot joined us in being part of the new AO guard that overperformed, Dorian & Sonya joined ASMV, Nedalia, and others as part of the underperforming old guard of Atlantian Oceania.

Group 5
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Casari (1) 2. Qutar (2) 3. Miceland (6)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Casari (1) 2. Qutar (2) 3. Northern Caesarea (6)

Il-Lur: Amazingly the one World Cup 30 BoFfer I had making the world cup finals was the only semifinalist who didn't. I was clearly off on thinking Northern Caesarea would struggle, and who in their right mind thought Okie would finish fourth?

Lur-Mn: A totally uninspiring group. Casari looked good. But it's hard to tell how much is due to the weakness of the group and how much is due to Casari playing well. They look like they could repeat, but they'll need to realize that it won't be as easy as that in the finals themselves.

Group 6
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Tadjikstan (4) 2. New Montreal States (1) 3. Cuation (2)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. New Montreal States (2) 2. Cuation (3) 3. Aurendia (6)

Lur-Mn: Well here's another of our Baptism of Fire partners, and another new quickly rising AO nation in Aurendia. They had the opposite of our position. We just needed anything to go right on the last match day. They needed everything to go right. And they did. Congratulations to them.

Il-Lur: While Tadjikstan's fall from grace was perhaps not as extreme as others, for example FMJPhoenix's swan dive, it they were definitely the team to advance furthest to fail in qualifying. They made the semifinals last cup. Yet there they are on the outside looking in.

Group 7
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Ariddia (1) 2. Jeruselem (2) 3. Chicanada (3)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Ariddia (1) 2.Jeruselem (2) 3. Chicanada (3) 4. Geisenfried (4)

Il-Lur: Man I nailed this group. Except for the part about Chicanada's government collapsing and them being knocked out of the tournament on account of it. But as far as the soccer goes I was dead on. I would like to say how wrong I think it is that Chicanada's being knocked out. First off, the countries in a state of turmoil. To deprive them of the one thing that might give them joy is pretty brutal. Plus it's totally unfair. Geisenfried didn't meet the standards for qualification. No offense against Geisenfried but they simply don't deserve to go to the finals. Chicanada's football players earned the spot and they should be allowed to go regardless of their government.

Lur-Mn: My thoughts about Group 7 are simply this: While I can't stand their media, as it is absurdly sexual, as if the news media is being scripted by horny virginal fifteen year old computer geeks, I think they could be a big threat. They might well end up sneaking off with the whole thing.

Group 8
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Liverpool England (1) 2. Milchama (3) 3. Bettia (2)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Liverpool England (1) 2. Bettia (3) 3. Milchama (2)

Lur-Mn: Not much of a suprise in this group. We expected Milchama to move up but struggled against the top teams. Not a great sign for them. Still not to much interesting to say here. Of the big three Liverpool England was the best.

Il-Lur: Agreed. Played to form. I would like to tip my cap to the so-called nation of Socialist Romanistan. As I understand it they're just one Schiavonian high school. Still they earned fifteen points. A boffo showing for those kids.

Group 9
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Squornshelous (1) 2. Spaam (3) 3. Wentland (6)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Squornshelous (1) 2. Archregimancy (4) 3. Spaam (2)

Il-Lur: A nice solid group of teams at the top. Tessan was a big suprise. A late collapse cost them their qualifying spot. Rumor has it they're supposed to be a bit behind the times, but regardless their football was pretty good. Far surpassed my third pick of Wentland.

Group 10
Predicted Qualifiers (finishing rank):
1. Fmjphoenix (5) 2. Oliverry (1) 3. Spruitland (3)
Actual Qualifiers (predicted rank):
1. Oliverry (2) 2. Turori (4) 3. Spruitland (3)

Lur-Mn: Fmjphoenix was definitely a huge disappointment. They join D2R and Tadjikstan down in the dumps. They weren't ever really in the hunt for qualifying, which is truly suprising. On the plus side those Cocobos are pretty danged good, overcoming death within their pack. And Ropa-Topia pushed the leaders all the way.

Il-Lur: Oliverry was my early pick to tack the championship. But I was not impressed. I think with Fmjphoenix falling off the way they did they could've turned in a more impressive qualifying performance. If you asked me now leaving out the big three I'd have to say that Schiavonia is my new pick for champions. I think Colin Chester will push them all the way.

Mu-Mo: Ok, looking ahead, what would you say are keys for the Gnomes moving forward to the finals?

Lur-Mn: Well the key is not getting rattled. They're going to give up goals and the other teams are going to make fantastic plays. Those are both givens. If they are to move on they have to overcome that. The great thing is that they'll be very lose. Every point in the finals will be icing. They aren't expected to do anything.

Il-Lur: How they do depends on who else proves they are truly world cup caliber players, besides Pizelkaxrovsky. The team is plenty talented enough to beat teams like Green Wombat. And great coaching can help them out there too. But like we saw in qualifying against teams like Schiavonia or Rejistania it isn't enough. So the pressure will be on other players to prove they have the talent to play at the top level.

Mu-Mo: Alright, last question. What would you describe as your lasting image of these qualifiers.

Il-Lur: Definitely Gn-Lg's goal on the Green Wombat penalty kick. To make a save in that situation was so huge. It felt like the world came to a stop just before the kick and when he swallowed it up the whole stadium went totally nuts.

Lur-Mn: I agree. That dive to his right is the image of these qualifiers, but the other one that sticks out is the second game when we came out from the half over loaded to the side. That formation was so unorthodox and really put confidence in the mind of everyone when it worked. But Gn-Lg's save will be the one that's still selling books years from now.

Mu-Mo: Thanks for joining us on this qualification wrap up. Keep your eyes open for the World Cup Draw, which we'll be bringing you live from The Lowland Clans.

News items from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) Age

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MILLIONS DESCEND ON WARATAH FLAT
DESPERATE FOOD SHORTAGE
ROOKIE CLINCHES WORLD CUP BERTH

In some of the most extraordinary scenes ever witnessed in Errinundera, an estimated 45 million people travelled to Waratah Flat for the final round of qualifying for World Cup 31. The potoroos needed a win or a draw against Backwardistan at the recently completed Biodome to guarantee themselves a trip to either Vilita or The Lowland Clans. The ground capacity of the Biodome is 35,000. The total population of Waratah Flat prior to the invasion was 767,211.

All food in the city had been consumed two days prior to the match. With recent cutbacks to public transport the rail system was unable to cope with the need to freight in vast amounts of food on top of the hordes of arriving fans already stretching rail resources to the limit. Local officials were forced to borrow helicopters from neighbouring countries so emergency food drops could be undertaken.

Despite the problems the fans were in good cheer. Would the potoroos make it? Nothing else, including food it seems, mattered. One shudders to think what might have happened had the potoroos lost.

The flatfooters, outnumbered by almost 60 to one, didn’t seem to mind that they had become a tiny minority in their own city. Fans were billeted wherever possible but you simply cannot get 60 people into one housetree. Camping grounds were hastily set up in every skerrick of vacant land that could be found. Many simply camped in the bushes and trees of the surrounding rainforest.

The match was delayed over 5 hours simply because the players and officials couldn’t get through the thronging crowds at the stadium. What had been scheduled as a day game became a floodlit spectacle. Due to the rail problems it was not possible to bring in the necessary viewing screens so fans outside the stadium – they stretched for kilometres in every direction – watched the action on mobile phones or listened via their mp3 players. Those without these aids depended on spontaneous commentaries from the more fortunate.

The even luckier fans to have tickets for the game saw a low standard but hear-stoppingly thrilling display. The potoroos had most of the play in the first half but seemed afraid to press home the advantage. After the break the Backwardis took control but were unable to get the ball past goalie, evolu. Against the flow of play first year player, lyseup, accepted a pass from rosaniel and threaded the ball past 2 defenders and the goalie to put the home side up 1-nil. The genderqueer archangel later told reporters that lyseup had shown tremendous composure and judgement to score. “I was boxed in and had to pass. It wasn’t an attacking move – I was just trying to get out of trouble. lyseup looked as though she had all the time in the world and slotted it right through the eye of the needle with absolutely impeccable timing.”

lyseup herself was eagerly looking forward to the World Cup but not, perhaps, for the reasons you would expect. "owiavi and I are really looking forward to meeting our old friends from Ariddia. I hope we are drawn to play the first round in the same nation, whether its The Lowland Clans or Vilita."

Captain of the team, silvu, was very proud of his team at the after-match press conference. “We have qualified one World Cup earlier than planned. Our aim had been to reach the top 100 in the KPB rankings after World Cup 30; in the top 50 after this World Cup; and try to qualify for World Cup 32. It’s hard to believe that this will be Errinundera’s 6th World Cup appearance in 8 tries. Mind you, it’s 88 years since we last qualified. Having said that we must remain realistic. Experts have rated us as the weakest team to qualify. I guess it’s now up to us to prove them wrong.”

The next morning an extraordinary site greeted the millions. Everywhere waratahs had sprung into bloom - the city isn’t called Waratah Flat for nothing – signalling the start of the annual Waratah Festival. With 45 million revellers on hand this would be a festival to remember.

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http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 1
(lyseup 77)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Backwardistan.png
Backwardistan 0

As it turned out the win or draw was unnecessary as Nedalia subsequently managed only a draw against Anathematic Republics. Errinudrian captain, silvu, put the result in perspective: "Had we lost then Nedalia would have had an incentive to win their match - after all, qualification would have been at stake for them. Instead, our win made their match result meaningless so they were possibly deflated."

Northern Caesarea 1 Vuan and Isma 0

1. Cuéllar * I

2. Díez 0 I
14. Molinero **
22. Berni 0

24. Novo *****
13. Castro * I
10. Baldo *** => 6. Begines (m.84)
18. Rodiloa ** A

15. Javi *
20. Toledo *
21. Evaristo ****


--------------------------------------------------------

The crack
Novo
The veteran player made one of his legendary matches from the right wing, getting the Vuan and Isma lef back mad and making the pass which led the the victory goal.

The dandy
Evaristo
He used a lot of technique but had no success, as his fellow forwards weren't in their best days. He brought constant danger to Vuan and Isma goal and scored the only one of the match.

The tough guy
Rodiloa
Deserved his yellow carton after an awful tackle to a Vuan and Isma player.

Not his day
Berni
A chance Vuan and Isma attack game was inoperant. He gave the rival team a lot of facilities to score.

Berenguer-A relaxed game yesterday at the Nou Estadi. The Tricolores were alrteady qualified and prefered to reserve themselves for the WC finals.

Fans attended a boring match, where all the players, except Novo, Evaristo, Baldo and few others were clinged to a minimum effort policy.

The defense and goalkeeping were awful and a top team like Casari or Islands of Qutar would have scored a lot of goals, but Vuan and Isma hadn't the level.

The only goal came at minute 90, when an inspired Evaristo made a karate-like kick after a wonderful pass by Novo. Fans already deserted the stadium.

OC: Sorry for getting the name wrong.

Cuation Slip to Second

The Mushroom Kingship [1] Cuation [2]


Cuation put out a reserve side but still made the Mushroom's attempt to qualify even harder. Cuation took an early lead, Speedy's run catching the defence up field, his cross was wayward but Lewish managed to hook the ball back into the box, Keane firing home with three minutes gone.

In the 30th minute, Lu Fei won in a free kick off A.J.Jefferson from twenty yards out. Cuation have struggled with scoring these since Giovanni's retirement but Lewish made his claim to become the free kick taker with a superb curling effort that left Stan Jumper helpless.

The change of team had seen Irwin, Jude, Downing, Fallen and Rual dropped to the bench and in the second half, the flaws where exposed. Scott is a great holding midfielder but can not dictate play while Speedy's headless running is useful as a sub, useless as a starter. Terry and Keane are just not as good as the men they replaced while Gary Jens is still prone to error.

The Mushroom Kingship did not crumble, pushing on in need of points, forcing Gary Jens into action but lacking the quality to really work him. In the 70th minute, a poor Terry pass gave Ezzy Hillmond an excellent chance, his shot left the keeper with no chance.

Tadjikistan [2] Cuation [0]


The reserves where given a run out as this game was considered unwinable, even with Tadjikistan's "poor form", they had only lost once, to NMS and this game would give them more experience and match fitness before the World Cup proper.

Cuation suffered only their second loss and took a hit to their proud defensive record as they where overrun. A brilliant passing move resulted in the first goal and Gary Jens flapping at a cross in the 70th that killed off any hope of a fight back.

Gary Jens, despite his error, was Cuation's man of the match, making a string of top draw saves to keep his team in it. One does wonder why Pual Keane was played instead of Lu Fei, he was stranded and could not compete for the balls in the air, was a run out that important?

Adamica [0] Cuation [6]

Another 6-0 win against this lot was not enough to get back first back place but condemned Adamica to having lost every match and the wooden spoon. Once again it was the two hot shots that got a hatrick to share to finish off a great campaign.

Pual Keane pounced on a poor back pass to stroke the ball through the keeper's legs in the 10th minute, drilled home a low Speedy cross in the 23rd and in injury time, pounced when Lewish's shot was fumbled by the keeper.

Replaced at half time, Rual Mendiz showed his class with a beautiful 30 yarder in the 47th minute, broke the offside trap and rounded the keeper in the 53rd and in the 70th, finished the scoring with back heeling Lu Fei's knock down over the line.


Cuation End of Group Look

Second place in the group after a long run seems disappointing having held first place for so long but it is the first time we have ever qualified for the World Cup proper and did so after being an outside chance of qualifying, we pushed NMS hard, within two points and finished ten points of fellow 1st time World Cup proper, Aurendia

Cuation World Standing

Half way in, we where an impressive 21st in the world but now we have done even better, 17th. Only three draws, a tradtional problem and a mere two defeats is a strong record though Group 6 did prove to be suprisingly weak but you can only beat what is in front of you.

This does not reflect the more long minded view of the official rankings that will say where we are in the world for the next World Cup but it is a good indicator of the great job the manager has done.

Goals Scored

20 goals in nine games had put Cuation in 34th as the best attackers, again a traditional weak point, the attack faltered slightly in the second half of the group, only adding 19 to the total to keep our ranking. The figure was inflated by 12 goals scored in one game but it is no coincidence that the two games we didn't score, we lost.

Goals Let In

Cuation had conceded only five in the first nine games and where by far the best team at stopping the opposition from scoring. Twice in the second half of the group, Cuation conceded two goals as we conceded seven which will concern the manager, the attack and the defence performed worse in the second half. Cuation however grabbed first place anyway, second place Rejistania conceding one more.

A goal difference of +27 was a decent thing but compared to the world class teams we will face, we stand no chance.


VitlaL: Home for your Old People

Dear Mother

It is our beloved travel agent, Trevor of the House of Miknawiki here Mumsie, how I miss your mouse pie. I have done my nine away games but the government tells me I must stay on till the World Cup is over. I hate this job, football is the sport of fools compared to Kingly Mouse Racing.

Instead I have had to put up with these dunderheads led by a manager who can't speak proper Cuation, barbarian and his dim-witted team. Some of them think they are so clever and tease me, complaining when they get good accommodations.

How could they find fault with the hotel I found next to an airport? It was cheap, had a nice view, so it was a little noisy but I'm sure the lack of sleep was just a lie, they won 6-0 anyway. That warlord Jude Takerath must be loving putting our house to shame, we where lords of the north island before his dratted father came along.

Anyway this VitlaL is a nice place, that barbarian manager doesn't look happy but among this heavy rain, the thousands of old people on this small island, they can relax and learn from experience. Besides, he asked me to take his squad here after that game against A... who cares!

....

The manager interrupted me rudely and tells me this is the wrong place, it takes captain Irwin to say the name of Vilita properly for this World Cup thingy. Isn't it over? No, eighteen matches is not enough for this sport, they now have to go to Vilita so I best get working.

Love to the fish Freddy and Smeddy!
Your dindkle dums.

Mikaela Eyre whispers to her cell phone.

"Assegai fans, this is Mikaela Eyre reporting from the team plane. In all honesty, after getting their asses kicked and being the whipping boys of the tournament, the Riskbreakers of Assegai Developments were bitter tonight on the trip home. They hoped to be a better opponent, but despite preparation in domestic and regional leagues, the royal ass-rapings of 8-0, 8-1, 6-0 and 10-0 have proven the team to be a fraud on the international level. At one point, it seemed there was a light at the end of the tunnel. However, it turned out to be an oncoming train."

Somebody stirs in a seat near her.

"Uh... nothing else left to say here. The team's doctor had all the players drugged tonight. Everyone was hooked up to an IV with sedatives and by the time we get back to Lea Monde, all the players will have forgotten this nightmare. In fact, it's my turn... this is Mikaela Eyre signing off."

There were two helicopters circling when the Police finally routed Wilson Graham from his office. However, less expected was the chain of assistants and officals that he had claimed were in on the plot before he had left the building.

After the chain had been loaded up into some beat-up looking APCs and rolled off, a brief two minute commentary on what had happened so far left everyone suddenly thinking about one question.

... Who was in charge now?

The first thought to cross their mind was, "Oh, Hill would be, she's the coach, she must be the most important person left." And it seemed like a perfectly accurate comment- honestly, who was left?

That idea lasted all of eleven minutes, when Andy Ronalo made it more than clear on TVOne that so sane organizational structure would leave Hill in charge in any situation whatsoever.

So, slowly enough, the networks went through press releases and information, digging into exactly who did what and who was in charge of who in the CSA, and came up with one person-

David Scorlotto.

And in a single exclimation that you could probably hear 30 miles out to sea, the nation asked one question.

Who the hell is David Scorlotto?

Well, there were a few people who knew. More or less, they were the ones not important enough to get a cut of the money that was pouring through the CSA- some press people, assistants, a few assistant directors for the different Professional League Divisions, a lot of the lower division people- who, with all the superiors gone, had crammed themselves into the biggest meeting room on the property. From the center of the room, as the rest turned to look, David turned a bit pale and swore.

David Scorlotto's job was the Assistant Director of the CSA Cup Organizing Committee. In theory he should have some experience at organizing competitions, scheduling matches, things like that... But still, going from what amounted to one of the most powerful men in the country to the waterboy was a bit of a big step.

David looked around the room to see everyone looking at him. "What, you're not taking them seriously, are you?" He said.

"Well, who else? You're probably one of 6 people who did legitimate work and didn't get arrested." Someone said from the back. Everyone else nodded- it was uncomfortable, but he was probably the best person for the job.

David sighed. "I suppose a promotion wouldn't hurt." He said, walking to the front of the room. Grabbing a marker from the tray, be began writing on the large board on the front of the room. "Well... I suppose at this point, before we go to the media, we need to figure out how to keep this thing working, right?"

The crowd looked at each other and nodded. Clearly, David had to be the person for the job.

---=--=---

That afternoon, the press had packed the press room, waiting for the best people left to show up and answer questions.

When David entered, people had already begun to yell questions at him, asking what his plans for the future are. After reaching the podium and holding up his hands to silence them, he started.

"I am David Scorlotto, and, it seems, I would be the current head of the Casaran Soccer Authority." A reporter began shouting a question, only to be silenced again. "We are not answering questions about the former officals at this time. This meeting is to answer questions about the organization of the CSA after this morning's events. Is that clear?"

An uneasy silence followed.

"As you've all reported so far, the job as the head of the CSA has fallen to me. The Media Relations arm will be headed by Maria Sanders, and our Soccer Operations arm will be headed by Scott Mercuri, who will also be the head of the National Team Program. Ronnie Lewis will be the new head of all the domestic league competitions. All three will be joining me on stage shortly to answer any questions about the future of the CSA. However, we would still like to make a statement.

"While the problems that we've had are jarring, and shocking, and a number of other things, the intention of those of us who are left is to keep Casaran Soccer on a world-class level, while reducing corruption in all aspects of the sport. While there are problems deeply rooted in the sport here in the country, we are dedicated to correcting these problems and keeping the sport truly alive here in the country. Now, I believe we'll have a break for a few minutes to let everyone get here, and then-"

"What is the future of Hill as Coach of the National Team?" a reporter yelled from the back of the room. David stopped and blinked, standing at the podium for a second.

"Hill's contract to coach the national team is up after the completion of this World Cup. At that point, our decision to keep her on will be based on performance and the result of any investigations into Coach Hill." David said, before nodding to the press and walking off the stage to the back room.

Maria was waiting already, looking as nervous as he was. "Man, I feel like I'm going to puke." David said, leaning against the wall.

"If you do, puke on Ronnie, he's an ass anyway." Maria said.

David snickered. "Well, I suppose it could always get worse."

[Fr: The Raging Penguins Emergency Commitee for Crowd and Foreigner Control
[To: The World Cup 31 ViLC Organizing Commitee
[Subj: The Team

To whomever your head chappie is, or whomever it is who may be concerned. Due to a most unfortunate calamity, The Team will not be competing in your most well hosted tournament-playoff-contest-thingy. Earlier today, during the wee hours of the morning, while The Team was just only waking(with the exception of Deadly Penguin, who insists upon waking at five in the morning to execise his "Peng-Chi" whatever that may be a euphemism for), a freak accident occured.

Namely, a Freak Carpet-Bombing-Followed-By-Tactical-Nukes-Napalm-And-Genetically-Modified-Ninjas Accident.

This is the third time in Raging Penguins' long history of unfortunate accidents that this type has occured, only this time there was higher grade napalm and more ninjas. We offer our condolences to all the teams which have been humiliated, mutilated, and otherwise bothered by The Team during that grueling qualification process, and extend our heartfelt congratulations to the Snarks, or whatever they're called, from Quakmybush, on what we have come to understand is their right to qualification.

Again, we apologize for the inconvenience, the hassle this will undoubtably cause, the paperwork, and the waves of deadly nuclear radiation from the tactical nukes.

Sincerely,
Mr. Edward Crabbly,
President of The Raging Penguins Emergency Commitee for Crowd and Foreigner Control

Konigseifert Chronicle
Out of the Confusion, Qualification
Chicanada's Political Misfortunes Give Geisenfried WC31 Spot

They'd have prefered not to have had to qualify through such odd ways. But fate and fortune are fickle, and their blessings have been given to the Golden Eagles at the expense of the Chicanadan national team. Political upheaval in the Federal Cantons of Chicanada led to the World Cup hosts to disqualifying the Chicanadan team, and giving the team in fourth place, Geisenfried, the qualification spot. Even then, it wasn't fully clear, as a table mistake initially put Kericia at the spot despite being knocked out on the second to last game. However, once repaired, the announcement was made official- Geisenfried would be one of the thirty teams invited to join Vilita and the Lowland Clans to duke it out for the World Cup.

Some foreign commentators decry the decision. Others accept the decision, but only grudgingly, noting Geisenfried as the 'illegitimate team'. Even some of the Geisenfried national players seem to be disappointed that they've only gotten in through a technicality. Wolfgang Genz had this to say: "Would we have liked to get in the regular way? Of course. Do we feel bad for Chicanada? Of course. However, we've been given an opportunity, something we're not going to take lightly. We owe it to both the Chicanadans and ourselves to do as best we can in the World Cup, to prove that we are a World Cup-caliber team, and to show Chicanada that we won't waste the opportunity they've had sacrificed to their misfortunes."

In other World Cup-related news, the RFSA announced that preliminary planning with the government and football federation of Milchama in plans to bring a World Cup bid to the two neighboring nations. The full status of how far the bid has progressed has not been revealed, but folks remain positive about the chances that they'll see the World Cup right here in Geisenfried.

Schedule
Geisenfried 5-0 Tryanny
Kericia 1-2 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 3-1 Montegrande
Geisenfried 1-2 Magnus Valerius
Chicanada 4-1 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 6-1 Cyredel
Geisenfried 1-3 Ariddia
The Macabees 1-4 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 2-2 Jeruselem
Tryanny 1-5 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 2-4 Kericia
Montegrande 1-5 Geisenfried
Magnus Valerius 0-2 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-3 Chicanada
Cyredel 1-3 Geisenfried
Ariddia 1-1 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 3-2 The Macabees
Jeruselem 3-0 Geisenfried
Black for Home
Red for Away

Tables
Nation W L D PT GF GA TGD
Ariddia 13 2 3 42 53 18 +35
Jeruselem 12 1 5 41 48 18 +30
Chicanada* 11 5 2 35 37 20 +17
Geisenfried 10 6 2 32 47 31 +16
Kericia 8 5 5 29 49 35 +14
Magnus Valerius 9 7 2 29 27 29 -2
The Macabees 6 11 1 19 24 46 -22
Tryanny 2 11 5 11 13 47 -34
Montegrande 1 11 6 9 15 36 -21
Cyredel 2 15 1 7 17 50 -33
*-Does not advance due to political anarchy and ceasing to exist as a nation

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We Present to thee, Cocoabo Six-Hundred Ninety Three!

Turori National Team head coach Jualiar Vumaou held an exciting press conference today announcing the addition of a new member of the Turorian Flock ahead of the Eels' return to the World Cup Finals for World Cup xXxI. After a long and grueling search around Turori and other nearby lands, hundreds of wasted minutes interviewing pets and hopeless candidates, Vumaou and his scouting staff finally found what they were looking for. An athletic cocoabo with a habit for kicking balls around. And thats just what they found in applicant number 693. Originally raised from the same Cocoabo farm as Vumaou's flock outside Kionao, Turori, This Cocoabo apparently slipped through the paperwork cracks as it was sold illegally by the farm to a tribe in the Riailia Village area of Turoki Isle, which also happens to be the closest section of Vilitan landmass to the Island Emirate of Turori.

In Riailia, applicant number six-hundred ninety three was used purely for entertainment by the tribe, from such spectacles as sporting event, including football/soccer where five to ten tribesmen would play against the Cocoabo, who typically kept a close match despite being severely outnumbered. It is this rigorous 'training' that coach Vumaou is hoping will set applicant 693 apart from all of the rest of the Cocoabo's who were analyzed in the search to fill the hole at the back that has plagued Turori's late qualifying results. It started with injuries, and then got worse as Co-Captain and experienced defender Cocoabo Number Four was fatally injured on the pitch during the match against Oliverry, and to make matters worse, the injury was inflicted by another Cocoabo. Since then, the flocks average goals conceded as gone up and the fears of embarrassment in the finals has gone with it. But the addition of such a powerful Cocoabo, despite perhaps being unfamiliar with the surrounding that it will be exposed to in Vilita & The Lowland Clans, has to give the Turori faithful some hope of pulling out a result or two when the finals get underway.

The Turorian Football Association will be looking for a short trip accross the cove to Vilita to allow the closest thing to a home atmosphere while playing on neutral ground. There have been unconfirmed reports floating around that the Turorian Football Association made a bid to have some Turorian matches played in nearby Turori instead of Vilita, but it is reported that such a bid was immediately dismissed by the Vilitan Football Association, not looking to follow in the footsteps of their World Cup 17 hosting which did see Turori compete at the Almintora National Stadium due to the delayed construction of Lunar Park in Seraai, which was originally slated to be open prior to World Cup 17, but it was not finished, but is now one of the premier stadiums in the World, and will certainly be playing host to matches as the World Cup kicks off in Vilita & The Lowland Clans. The Eels will be advancing to the finals for the first time since World Cup 28 after a strong qualifying campaign, capped with a 2-1 victory over Marion Oaks 2 on the final matchday to avenge an early draw with the lower ranked side.


http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 2
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/ns-generic.gif Marion Oaks 2 1




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World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story
The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43) :: [0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83) :: [0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94) :: [1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141) :: [2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177) :: [3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219) :: [4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255) :: [5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295) :: [6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334) :: [7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375) :: [8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407) :: [9] :: Flock in Florida Falter (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11869660&postcount=444) :: [10] :: Flock Back on Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875294&postcount=485) :: [11] :: Six Returns as Flock net Four in BBQ Roast (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879759&postcount=513) :: [12] :: Defense Collapses as Eels Fall to Second (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11882406&postcount=542) :: [13] :: Naked Topian's Left Limp (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11888865&postcount=580) :: [14] :: Vumaou no show Lovisa lose Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893258&postcount=606) :: [15] :: Vikings Sunk (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11896164&postcount=627) :: [16] :: Unbeaten No More (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11901186&postcount=654) :: [17] :: Flock Plijing to Vilita (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11906587&postcount=680) :: [18] :: We Present to thee, Cocoabo Six-Hundred Ninety Three! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912165&postcount=711)

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"Hello everyone, and welcome to Graham City, the capital city of the Lowland Clans and the Draw for World Cup xXxI! We hope that you all enjoy your stay!"

Schedule:
MD1: 1vs4, 3vs2
MD2: 3vs1, 2vs4
MD3: 1vs2, 4vs3

Each MD will follow 48 hours after each other, and MD 1 will begin 48 hours from now.

The Lowland Clans Region
Group A
The Lowland Clans
Schiavonia
Bazalonia
Quakmybush

Group B
Krytenia
Ariddia
Spaam
Aurendia

Group C
New Montreal States
The Islands of Qutar
Jeruselem
Qazox

Group D
Liverpool England
Starblaydia
The Archregimancy
Demot

Vilitan Region
Group E
Vilita
Bettia
Milchama
Cuation

Group F
Squornshelous
Commerce Heights
Turori
Geisenfried

Group G
Bedistan
Rejistania
Spruitland
Errinundera

Group H
Casari
Oliverry
Northern Caesarea
Az-cz

THE MONASTIC TIMES

NATION PRAYS FOR A MIRACLE
Archregimancy Draws Starblaydia and Liverpool England

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe


A successful qualifying campaign with an 8 match winning streak. A successful qualifying campaign with a single loss - and that after the team had already qualified. A successful qualifying campaign where the Archregimancy's squad of anonymous footballing Orthodox monks seemed on the verge of something special.

That, of course, was before the group draw for the World Cup proper was announced. In a sure sign that the Lord our God is quick to punish those who forget the virtues of monastic humility, the Archregimancy has drawn perennial semi-finalists Starblaydia and Liverpool England, thus facing the prospect of playing two of the top three teams in the World in the group stages.

Monastic Football Association officials immediately suspected a schismatic Catholic conspiracy, and launched an official protest against the draw. "What sort of random draw process places two of the top three seeds in the same group? What sort of farce is this anyway?" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. Other sources were more diplomatic, merely expressing their 'profound disappointment' at the 'twisted anti-Orthodox bias' displayed by the draw.

This reporter's sympathies, however, lie firmly with Demot, who must be wondering what sins their nation is doing penance for to be placed in this most impossible of groups.

The one small consolation for the Archregimancy is that neutral observers will surely be looking to our squad to break the Starblaydia/Liverpool England/Bedistan triumvirate's recent near stranglehold on the World Cup's top three positions.

Coach Fr. Polycarp the Venerable reacted to the draw with his usual fatalistic acceptance of God's will. "We must remember that the task we face pales in comparison to the trials of Job, and suffering is in any case good for the soul. Still, it's a bitch of a draw, isn't it" said the coach before asking for all citizens to pray for the team. Hard.