NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: The quick version. :D

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So Much For Ladies First

DORIAN & SONYA - 2
Unknown 23, 74
KRYTENIA - 3
Q Isserson 3
Duffy 61, 80

Hole In The Wall Gang

DIVENSI - 0

KRYTENIA - 3
Duffy 18
Quinnell 51
Tejai 90+2

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
S. Duffy - 4
J. Quinnell - 4
Q. Isserson - 3
D. Gygax - 2
S. Gryce - 1
J. Orange - 1
L. Platt - 1
Tejai - 1

MATCH SCHEDULE
MD1: A v DJ8 - W 6-0
MD2: H v IKE - W 5-0 (Mercia Stadium, Bromham)
MD3: A v DAS - ?????
MD4: A v DIV - ?????
MD5: H v STV - ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD6: A v ESF - ?????
MD7: A v DEM - ?????
MD8: A v CAT - ?????
MD9: A v COM - ?????
MD10: H v DJ8 - ????? (Walton Gardens, Simpson)
MD11: A v IKE - ?????
MD12: H v DAS - ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD13: H v DIV - ?????
MD14: A v STV - ?????
MD15: H v ESF - ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD16: H v DEM - ????? (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD17: H v CAT - ????? (Field Lane, Tyfield)
MD18: H v COM - ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)

Keeper Change Following Pschychoes First Loss

After allowing three goals against Spaam, Pyotr Nedvinskiy will be benched for Squornshelous' next qualifying match against Iansisle. Anders Peterson will start in his place. Manager Marko Antropov said that Nedvinskiy's performance hasn't lived up to what was expected of him when he was given the starting spot on this cup's team. The rest of the starting lineup will remain unchanged, but Antropov has hinted that if the teams play does not improve, we may see shakeups at defense and even in the midfield.
"In order to play the kind of attacking football that we've been so good at in the past," said Antropov at a post game press conference, "we have to be able to depend on our defenders, and most importantly our goalkeeper to keep the ball out of our net without too much help. If it turns out that they can't do that for us, we may need to reasses our formation to give them some more help back there."
Squornshelous is still in good position in Group 9, but has yet to get their attack going as well as we have become accustomed to doing, putting up only one goal against Tocapa in our previous match. We'll need to find some way to kick the attack into gear. If the defense can't be depended on to keep balls out of the net, we'll need to start putting a lot more balls in our opponents' nets.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-3 Spaam

From the newspaper, which means translated: glove of garlic

Syku Lyku superstars!

The Orange-Blues after a really suboptimal start eventually managed to play convincingly and defeated the old enemies Pablicosta 4:0. The Pablicostan national team did not participate for a long time, apparently due to a karelan revolution in their nation. When the karelan government was overthrown, they could participate, but the soccer team was unable to play well. Maybe they should not have killed the defenders in the revolution.
The team had some experience in playing since they played in forbidden takilan teams before the revolution. They however had no clue what it meant to play tactically. The only system, they played was a pure chaos. The Orange-Blues had no problems to get past the so-called defense often and the scoreline of 4:0 was flattening for the Pablicostans. It meant that the rather random attempts to defend quite often succeeded, even though closely. The Pablicostan team was handed its ass and they left the field totally and utterly demoralized. Syku Lyku and Syku Lyku have had numerous chances and were the tragic heroes of this match since they despite their chances only scored 4 times. If the Orange-Blues play like this, they will get very far!

this article is (c) Manlavu Lines - the best source for satire

---

Hexatux: Are you satisfied now?

Jenji Y: More or less, yeah. you could not have calculated those things, which went wrong here.

Hexatux: You are talking about the second yellow card for Syku Lyku Desnike'tes?

Jenji Y: I am.

Hexatux: I thought it was better if he misses the next match than a more important one.

Jenji Y: and the horribly buildup as well as the low number of chances?

Hexatux: that is because I am still recovering from all these programming escapades of Jeri. Do you have a trout?

Jenji Y: a trout?

Hexatux: yes. do you?

Jenji Y: no.

Hexatux: Acquire one!

...later...

Jeri Kis enters the room. The door triggers a mechanism the Hexatux invented. Hexatux slaps Jeri Kis around a bit with a large trout.

Hexatux: This feels gooooood!

Hill slowly read the paper with the radio playing and her feet up on her desk the day after her team's 4-2 victory over the poor sods from Qutar. Question her coaching skills. Pfft.

On the back page, she was reading through a bit of coverage of the whole "Theology Today" mess. And then a bit of a thought occured to her.

Was the Orthodox church really the path? I mean, look at the Archregimancy. Calling everyone in Casari schismatics with no respect for religious minorities, arguing over endless and pointless topics ad nauseum, their wholehearted support of killing a member of the Elrichian WC team a few cups ago, torturing people with a two-hour-long national anthem and not having the sense of humor to take it when the loveable hosts had a joke at their expense during the Olympics, and now, sabotage against some poor TV show in the New Montreal States, who happen to be a bunch of orthodox suckers as well.

Is this the kind of organization one wants to throw their eternal soul in with?

In Hill's mind, apparently not. Crossing Orthodoxy off the mental list of possible religions in her mind, she began considering her other options.

Catholicism? Pfft. She didn't understand the difference between them and those Orthodox nutters in the first place.

Hinduism? No... maybe it held a bit of promise, but she didn't particularly like the idea of being reincarnated as a slime mold.

Buddhism? Now what exactly makes that Buddha guy so special anyway?

Neopaganism? What the hell was Neopaganism anyway?

Discordianism? Hell, it was impossible to tell when you were supposed to take those people seriously and when you weren't anyway. Actually joining would probably drive her insane.

Pastafarianism? Beer volcanos were tempting, but to be honest, She wasn't much of a pasta fan.

Sciento- no, forget it.

Hill sat back in her chair and sighed. What gave these people their kicks anyway? Most of these religions were just someone telling other people how to live.

Well... if that was the only condition, what was to stop her from starting her own religion? It's not like it was particularly difficult. Rules saying don't kill people, don't break various laws, help other people who are more broke than you are, don't take jokes at your expense too seriously, a bit of inspirational material, a book with a fancy cover, some promises about the afterlife, a catchy name, and bam, one perfectly formed religion. It all made perfect sense. If there was no other way to make it to the afterlife, you might as well work on your own.

And even better- this way, she wouldn't have to get up early for church.

"Hmmm... a catchy name..." Hill said, getting up and grabbing her keys. Today seemed like a fantastic day to have a religious holiday on, and she could use a drink.

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Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top




After losing their central defender, Cocoabo number in the top of the table clash against Spruitland, head coach Jualiar Vumaou had a decision to make. With regular central defender number six already out injured from the Cup of Harmony, and not expected to return until around Matchday 12, Vumaou was left without a pure central defender for the match against Ropa-Topia, and it was un clear when he would be able to get one back, with no reports confirmed as to when Cocoabo number three would be able to make a return. The results are good for Vumaou's defensive line, as number three was only expected to miss two matches, matchday four against Ropa-Topia and matchday five against Lovisa. That still meant two matches without a central defender however, and that meant moving co-captain, cocoabo number four, in from the wing to the central of the defensive line, and calling number seven in off the bench to cover the wing defensive role.

The story on the day was the Eels offensive however, as Ropa-Topia came to Turori and got schooled by the flock. The Eels were three goals to the good at the half and never much looked being threatened, controlling much of the play, although the Turori goalkeeper was tested at times, being equal to all challenges. Cocoabo number eleven clinched the game for the Eels on the hour mark and the flock was cruising to a four goal triumph when the injuries at the back first became apparent. Typically neither lasting the full ninety minutes, Cocoabo's number four and number seven made up two thirds of the defensive line with no competent replacements readily available. Their exhaustion caught up to them as stoppage time neared, and debutant Ropa-Topian Carlton Ammons, a late match substitute, netted his first of the campaign after stealing the straight from the feet of Cocoabo number seven then out-pacing Cocoabo number four who almost pathetically found itself lying on the pitch after an exhausted challenge saw it mistime by about three yards behind the fact as Ammons slotted home from 12 yards.

Unfortunately, due to personal reasons currently unknown, head coach Jualiar Vumaou was unable for comment after the match. It is not believed that this is a return to the media blackout that Vilita & Turori sports had imposed from World Cups 25 on. After four games, Turori remains atop the table, strengthening their lead by two goals differential after Spruitland could only manage a single goal victory over Lexington SC. Both teams are currently tied at 10 points atop the Group 10 table, with Oliverry just behind in third with 9 points. Pre-cup group favorites Fmjphoenix have struggled so far and are three points out of the qualification zone, level 4th place in the standings along with Turori's matchday four opposition, Ropa-Topia. The Eels will host Lovisa in the final match of a four game home stand on Matchday Five. In their return to competitive action, the Media Extraordinaires from Lovisa are bottom of the table, the only team in the group to have yet to record a victory.



http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 4
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/ropa-topia.gif Ropa-Topia 1






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World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[1] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[2] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[3] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[4] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[5] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[6] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)

THE MONASTIC TIMES

CONTROVERSIAL THEOLOGIAN TO TRAVEL TO NMS
Fr. Seraphim Accepts Broadcast Offer

By Fr. Michael the Sunday Scribe

Controversial Archregimancy theologian and host of popular monastic television programme Theology Today Fr. Seraphim the Occasionally Dangerously Free-Thinking Theologian yesterday accepted an offer to appear on the New Montreal States television also titled Theology Today.

The decision came as a surprise to many neutral observers following accusations that the Holy Synod had intentionally sidelined the once-prominent Fr. Seraphim after his controversial re-examination of St. Gregory Palamas' work on the distinction between God's energies and His Essence.

Fr. Seraphim again stressed last night that he had not been challenging any aspect of Palamite doctrine, but had merely been examining potential practical applications of Palamite hesychasm to everyday modern secular life. Fr. Seraphim professed himself to be 'delighted' to be offered this opportunity to address the New Montreal faithful, and was said to be willing to join in a phone-in segment as soon as he could "work out how one of these new-fangled telephone thingies actually works".

Sources close to the Holy Synod claim, however, that the Synod only agreed to Fr. Seraphim travelling to New Montreal under pressure from the Monastic Football Association in order to smooth over any residual ill-feeling over the recent incident involving the interruption of a NMS television broadcast.

Both the MFA and Holy Synod hope that this will also help to minimise any pre-match distraction in the international football squad's run up to a potentially tricky match against surprise package Tessan.

News items from the McKillops Bridge New Statesman.

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FINE WEATHER FOR FROSTY HOLLOW

In a break with tradition good weather is now forecast for the match against the United Island Empires at Frosty Hollow. Head of the weather bureau, haelstrom, explains that a slowly moving high pressure system is heading towards Rooty Break and its infamous ground. “There will be frosts in the morning but by the time the match starts we should have a beautiful spring day perfect for football. I really can’t imagine anything going wrong. Well, at least not as a result of the weather.”

POTOROOS SWEEP AWAY RISA-ARAMOUR

Here at the Milosis Coliseum yesterday the national team extended its World Cup qualifying winning sequence to three when it defeated Risa-Aramour 4-1. Vice-captain silvu stunned the capacity crowd when he scored in the first minute of the game. From there the home side never looked like relinquishing control. venu added another in the 39th minute after silvu cleverly outfoxed the Risa-Aramour defence. The game meandered for most of the second half before silvu and addicksonia scored in the 78th and 79th to underline the potoroos’ dominance. The visitors managed a consolation goal during injury time, an event that failed to dampen the enthusiastic chanting of the crowd. The potoroos have now already won as many games as they did in each of the last 2 Cups they contested.

Local Milosian star, rosaniel, twisted quer ankle early in the first half and was substituted by addicksonia as a precaution. Que spoke to us after the game on the condition we didn’t use the epithet ‘angelic genderqueer’ when describing quer. “I was very pleased for addicksonia. He has been down on form of late and that goal should give him a confidence boost.”

We asked about the mood in the team after the fabulous start to qualifying. “We aren’t getting carried away. There is long way to go yet. That last goal by Risa-Aramour just proves that, unless you concentrate 100 per cent, other sides can score. The coaching staff are very critical of that late lapse.”

Of her own form: “It’s been good. So has silvu’s. We combine well in the forward half.” And the injury: “I’ll be ready for whatever happens at Freaky Hollow.” Freaky Hollow? “That’s what we call it.”

MUTANT LEECHES GO MISSING

The head of the Department of Genetics at the University of First Creek Falls, ankenste, today revealed that all the experimental two-headed leeches had gone missing from their laboratories. “We are very concerned. These creatures are extremely dangerous. They are our latest mutation and have voracious appetites. Even though they are only about a metre long and about 10 cm thick they have a prodigious blood storage capacity. They can suck a potoroo dry in moments and a human in about three minutes. We had created a special vegetarian formula to feed them but whoever has them won’t be able to provide the same without considerable expertise.”

Suspicion has fallen on the outlaw redrider. The university is located on the edge of a particularly steep section of the great escarpment. A German motorcycle was found smashed at the base. Magistrates at First Creek Falls and Rooty Break are convinced that redrider will release the leeches at a major public event to draw attention to her political agenda. We asked if a World Cup qualifying match could be such an event. “Certainly,” says Rooty Break magistrate, lerlar. “We ask people going to next week’s game at Frosty Hollow to be alert. There is no need to be alarmed, however. I have great faith in the capacity of Errinundrians to cope with anything redrider could drop on our laps.”

Exerpts from the KSIM Sports TV Brodcast


"....Debullie wins the face-off noe he's going upfield around one..two defenders he....oh and it's stolen by (name)...."

" Debuille with the ball again...OH he gets knocked hard!..aaaaaaaaand....yes a yellow card for (name)"

"Booster has it passes it and GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAL! Timmy Green."

"Beverly passes it to Debullie who jikes the defender and GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"

"Scarborough Passes it back to Debuille And OMGGOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"


" And theres the gun and it's 3-0 TMK defeats ORD. lets have a look at the top scorers presented by Goombakarr"


Debuille 4
Booster 2
Blitzjabber 1
Koodrah 1

"Fuck, shit, damn, fuck, crap, son-of-a-bitch." Jon Fields said as he entered the dressing room of the Qazoxian Stadium. He let everyone get settled. "You guys call that a game! We had them and we blew it, we were up 2-0! C'mon guys. If we really want to do well in this at all we have to play well. Miller, Sorley, nice goals guys. We played an amazing first half but we half to be able to play well in the second half too boys. We play those nutty penguins tomorrow, we should would but we gotta play a full 90 minutes!" he stated.

-----meanwhile-----

This is what Greg Hughes loved about being the coach, he didnt have to be in the dressing room to hear that because he needed to get the game results in. He faxed the gamesheet in, and looked over some game footage, and made a lineup change he decided to put 17 year old PTH FC standout Matthew Graves in for the under achieving Mike Martin. He called Graves into the Coach's Room. "Hello Matthew." he said.

"Hi Coach, you wanted to see me?" He asked.

"Yes, I would like you to start tomorrow against the Raging Penguins. Are you up to it? It might be intimidating, those Penguins are fucked in the head." Hughes said.

"Coach, I am totally up to it, I will not disapoint you, thank you so much." Graves said.

"Alright son, get a good nights sleep, you got a big day in front of you tomorrow." Hughes said.

Graves left the office, and then Hughes called Mike Martin into the office. "Mike, I've decided to start Graves instead of you tomorrow. Don't get angry, it's just im trying something different, plus I don't want you killed by any nutty Penguins." Hughes explained.

"Alright Coach, I have no problem with that. Just let me get some time later in the qualifiers." Martin said.

"No doubt, now have a good night." Hughes said.

Mike Martin walked out of his coach's office a bit more then a little pissed off.

He walked into the dressing room and went straight to Matthew Graves. He shoved him up against a locker and cocked his fist at him. "Man, what are you doing, what the hell did I do to you?" Graves asked.

"You took my fucking starting spot, you little runt!" Martin screamed.

Hughes burst throught the door and broke the two up. "We don't have room on this team for this kinda bullshit." he said. "No more of this, next one to do it is suspended from the team, Mike, now you've lost your starting spot for two games." With that the team settled back down and Hughes went back to his office.

JGN Sports Bulletin

Dazza out for two games

Once again, Dazza's troublesome knee is giving her trouble. It put her out of a few games in Women's World Cup 4 and World Cup XXX. The Jeruselem doctor say the Jeruselem captain must be rested for at least two games and will need a light workload for a while. The Vice captain will take charge but we think it doesn't matter who's the captain - there's a lot of good leaders in the Jeruselem team but we will miss Dazza who is proven match winner when needed.

She will still do her other job as reporter and general busy body.

Qutar Sports News Network

The camera pans down onto the studio, the lights fade up as the camera focuses onto the panel.

Seth Harrison: Hi there and welcome again to another special World Cup Qualifying edition of Match of the Day. As ever i'm joined on my panel by Chris Saunders, Michael Ellis and James Thomas, we're here tonight for the big match against Casari, after getting off to such a good start will Qutar topple the former world champions? Or will Casari get back to thier best and show us how its done? Well lets look at the line-ups for the teams tonight:

Screen goes graphics showing the team line-ups

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/theislandsofqutar.gif The Islands of Qutar

Armaos Walsh

Morgan Wildgoose Orban Johnson

Swan Froggatt Daynes Paget

Wright

Substitutes: Paul Taylor
Gary Rowe
Steven McCabe
Christopher Brown
Alex Roberts
Colin Hughes
Aaron Davies
Eric Walker
John Harvey

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/casari.gif Casari

Leir Edmonds Reimar

Arrali

Tico Eri

Seirori

Davis Walburg Alls

Darcosi

Substitutes: Richard Yons
Fredrick Els
Violet Roburg
Robert Ness
Adam Christof
Cid Awisan
James Leriani
Lee Deo
Kristen Welsani

Seth Harrison: So an unchanged team from our 3-2 defeat of Northern Caesarea, and that unusual formation from Casari that seems to give them a great flexibility in all areas of the pitch, so without further ado we'll take you to the Tyrellian Ylompic Stadium in Casari for the match, your commentator for the match is as ever Richard Hammond.

Screen goes to a live feed of the match

Richard Hammond: Well thank you for the introduction Seth, well its a capcity crowd here at the Tyrellian Ylompic Stadium, with a large section of Qutari fans spurring on our lads tonight. The players are coming out of the tunnel now, as they line up and proudly sing the anthems, it's nice to see each player singing their hardest. Well that all that over and the players are all ready to kick off now, and its Casari to start off the game and they've got it off to a lively start with Leir and Edmonds cutting through the midfield although he's just got tackled by Orban, who immediatly sends it up to a waiting Armaos, who darts up the pitch he manages to turn past Tico but Casari have come back in numbers and Armaos has to slow things down, and passes to Morgan whos making a run down the wing, he gets past Alls and whips a cross which meets the head of Walsh, who forces Darcosi to tip the ball over the crossbar for a corner. Whoa that was a close one! Well Johnson takes the corner, whips it in but Darcosi comes out and jumps for it getting the ball cleanly, and quickly sending up the pitch on the counter-attack as Eri races up the pitch with the ball as the Qutari team rushes back to defend, as Eri passes the ball up to Reimar, who gets past Daynes and Wright rushes out and manages to smother the ball, as he yells at his defenders for not being there.

Wright gets the game going again, giving the ball to Paget, he sends it up the pitch to Wildgoose, who is promptly fouled by Tico, who protests for some reason although he quite clearly fouled Wildgoose. Well Wildgoose sets up the free kick and lofts it into the and Armaos rises above the defenders, and its in! It's a goal! Qutar have taken the lead and we're only seven minutes into the game, and the Casari players are looking shellshocked as the Qutari players run to celebrate by the away fans.

Around twenty minutes later.....

Well things have certainly calmed down a bit and the teams are looking much more evenly matched now, oh just as I say that Casari are making a break down the wing.

OOC: Really Really Tired, shall finish when I get up i promise


Casari 4 - 2 The Islands of Qutar
Lier, 27', 42', 87' (pen) Armaos, 7' ............................
Arrali, 68' Walsh, 45' ........................


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Waffles Steal Win From Jaws Of Defeat

Travelling to the home of the world's sixth best team, the Waffles knew that
this would be the ultimate test of their qualifying credentials. A sea of red
and black and orange and black (and a touch of white) greeted both teams in
the top of the table clash, and a rivalry that has been going on for over a
hundred years. Of all teams, the Pschychoes knew not to underestimate the
Waffles, and so the game started brutally, with a yellow card to each team in
the first five minutes. Spaam actually drew first blood, when Eseld Retallack,
the young and feisty striker, scored off a corner in the 15th minute. It was
then that Squornshelous lifted the tempo even more, and started taking
control of the game away from the Waffles.

The Pschychoes finally got the equaliser in the 32nd minute, after a number
of close chances which were saved by Spaam keeper Feoca Arthur. Igor
Khabarov managed to get free of his marker, and set himself up for a brilliant
shot on the other side of goal. By the end of the first half, the scores were
even, but Squornshelous led the shots on goal by nine to three. The second
half was more of the same, as the Pschychoes showed why they were among
the top teams in the world, with their second goal coming just before the
hour mark. Iannis Xenakis headed the ball in after Arthur failed to gather it
properly off a corner play, and the score was two to one in favour of the
home team.

With the Squornshelous defense holding strong and the Spaamanians failing to
match the level of play, it looked like the Pschychoes were well on their way
to an expected win. With ten minutes of regular time left, coach Tamsyn
Pengelley swapped Retallack off for 19 year old Materiana Prisk, gambling that
the freshness of the young forward would do something in a tiring game.
That gamble paid off just five minutes later, when Prisk stole the ball off a
lethargic Goran Renberg near the half-way line, and managed a solo run to
score the equaliser. That goal finally gave Spaam the impetus they needed,
as they could smell a possible win in the air.

With injury time quickly running out, and the game square at two goals
apiece, it would only be a matter of time before someone made a mistake.
This is exactly what happened, when defender Ivan Benelli was over
exuberant with his tackle of Spaam's star striker, Tehta Trevelyan, in the box.
His second yellow card of the game got him sent off, and gave Trevelyan a
penalty shot at goal. The shot was on target towards the left-hand side of
goal, and though keeper Pyotr Nedvinskiy managed to touch it, it wasn't
enough to stop it. The goal went in, and after the whistle blew just a minute
later, the Waffles had again slayed another giant, proving that no team was
truly safe with their last gasp win over the Pschychoes.

Squornshelous 2 (21 Khabarov 32'; 11 Xenakis 59')
Spaam . . . . 3 (20 Retallack 15'; 9 Prisk 85'; 1 Trevelyan 92')

Group 9 Roundup

In other matches, Rorysville got their game back on track with their second
straight win, defeating Tocapa by three goals to one. Iansisle got their first
win and continued the Lord of Hosts' woes with a three nil thrashing of the
visitors. Tessan continued their wonder run, downing the unlucky Wentland
team at their own stadium, four goals to two. And the Archregimancy had a
rather boring and unfunny four goal win over Funnia Lan.

Group 9:
Rorysville [3] Tocapa [1]
Iansisle [3] Lord of Hosts [0]
Wentland [2] Tessan [4]
Squornshelous [2] Spaam [3]
Funnia Lan [0] The Archregimancy [4]

Squornshelous' loss saw the still unbeaten Tessan and Spaam leap frog them
for a share of first place, with Tessan just ahead on goal difference.
However the Pschychoes are just one point behind in third, and by no means
out of the picture. The Archregimancy is a further point behind on eight
points, in fourth position, while Rorysville move up into fifth, on six. Iansisle
and the hapless Wentland are sharing sixth place on four points, and Tocapa
and Funnia Lan are a point behind on equal eighth. And the Lord of Hosts is
claiming the wooden spoon, still pointless and last.

Group 9 M W D L F A P GD G%
Tessan 4 3 1 0 15 7 10 +8 68
Spaam 4 3 1 0 13 6 10 +7 68
Squornshelous 4 3 0 1 10 7 9 +3 59
The Archregimancy 4 2 2 0 11 5 8 +6 69
Rorysville 4 2 0 2 11 8 6 +3 58
Iansisle 4 1 1 2 10 10 4 +0 50
Wentland 4 1 1 2 6 11 4 -5 35
Tocapa 4 1 0 3 6 10 3 -4 38
Funnia Lan 4 1 0 3 7 15 3 -8 32
Lord of Hosts 4 0 0 4 5 15 0 -10 25

Coming Up

Spaam will be hosting Rorysville in a must-win game for both teams, with the
Waffles eager to make sure their home record is at least as good as their
away. The Lord of Hosts will be looking for their first points when they host
Wentland, but Wentland will be looking to reverse their bad luck, and look
good to do so. Squornshelous wants to get back into the winners circle when
Iansisle comes to visit, and Tocapa and Funnia Lan will have a close, if not
entertaining, bottom of the table game.

And finally... who will win? The wacky monks from the Archregimancy, or the
knights of Ni^H^HTessan? Will there be holy hand-grenades? Will there be
killer rabbits? I fart in your general direction, son of a hamster!

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WANTED: Industrial fungicide for unbeaten team problem. Contact
Aurendian Football Association on +111 555 9876. Before TMK game if at
all possible.

1 T. Trevelyan 4
20 E. Retallack 3
14 M. Menadue 2
2 G. Chegwidden 1
22 J. Hoover 1
19 H. Nepean 1
9 M. Prisk 1

Head Coach Reggie Hassok sat in his office pouring over stat sheets, video clips and anything he could to get a read on Starblaydia...

"Damn.. Nothing... No weaknesses on the defense, no over-eager forwards, no-sloppy midfielders, and good keeping.. We're royally screwed." He mumbled to himself.. wishing he could be on the pitch for the match with Starblaydia...

"No way that I could be on the pitch; I could be on the pitch. No... unless..." He thought as a strange idea suddenly came in his head.

- Matchday 5 RP Cutoff -

Matchday 5 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11843202&postcount=5)

Etoka Journal-Tribune
“Now with larger print for those hung-over mornings”

Good day for Raptors as announcement of new coach follows victory

SOUTHPORT – The Raptors climbed to fifth place in Group Six standings with a 4-2 victory over JSY. If that wasn’t good enough, within hours of the final whistle it was announced that a candidate has been chosen to take over the reigns of manager.

Invigorated by the sellout crowds at Southport’s “Reef” Stadium, the Raptors opened up aggressively and drew first blood. An early possession led to a corner kick in the 8th minute. Midfielder Cassandra Campbell took the kick, and found younger sister Ashley in position to make the score 1-0 Aurendia.

JSY didn’t give up, and in the 19th minute a long clear from Comet defender Emily Armstrong connected with forward Tino Englert for the equalizer. The Comets pulled ahead 15 minutes later, when a hard tackle by the Raptor’s Ken Weathers resulted in a penalty kick being awarded to JSY’s Erik Aiglstorfer. With the 2-1 lead, the Comets reverted to their defensive style, but the Raptors struck again just before the half. Jessica Colenti took possession of the ball near the midfield, and launched a pass into traffic that managed to find Matt Sanchez inside the box. Sanchez beat the defender, and tied the game at 2-all.

JSY continued to play hard throughout the second half, but the Comets offense couldn’t put anything past Liza Kohl in the Raptor’s net. At the other end, Aurendia’s offense was much more effective, with Campbell scoring her second of the game to put the Raptors up for good. Eleven minutes later Tara Pellegri scored an insurance goal off another corner kick, giving the Raptors the 4-2 victory.

Just a few hours later, the Aurendia Football Association released a statement about the newly selected manager of the Raptors. The message stated that, the Raptors do in fact have a new manager. It is not known where this person came from, what experience they may have, or even what the individuals name is. Repeated requests for such information went unanswered, AFA officials merely responding with, “Just wait. You’ll find out eventually.” Here’s opening this works out well for the team as they try to qualify for the World Cup.

Scoring:
1. A (A. Campbell 2) 8th (Assist: C. Campbell)
2. JSY (T. Englert) 19th (Assist: E. Armstrong)
3. JSY (E. Aiglstorfer) 34th PK
4. A (M. Sanchez 1) 43rd (Assist: J. Colenti)
5. A (A. Campbell 3) 60th (Assist: J. Colenti)
6. A (T. Pellegri 1) 71st (Assist: C. Campbell)

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section: Daniel Davies Interview

Daniel Davies, the newly appointed head of the Football Federation of the Lowland Clans, today granted us an interview in his workingman's flat in London. Davies is a young, talented administrator and deft man, whose working origins on the East Side of Glasgow and his play as an unspectacular but consistent midfielder for his favorite side Hearts United, He has been responsible for the success of the ViLC hosting bid and a revitilazation of football in the Lowland Clans. He was previously Director of Football Operations, the second highest position in the FFLC, before being hired after a number of foreign names were unable to be signed.

GCS: Well, thanks for sitting down with us, Danny.
DD: It's my pleasure, guys. Thanks for having me, would you all like some coffee?

GCS: Of course, of course. So, how would you view your first few months as head of the Federation?
DD: Oh, quite successful. We've really revitalized football here, at least professionally. Our ascension into the IAFL has proven that our domestic teams have what it takes to reach to the top. We've also acheived a measure of success on the international market. The hosting of the World Cup certainly has brought a lot of fervor and admiration for the game back into the limelight.

GCS: What about the team for the World Cup? They had a lot of problems with big games last time around and survived only into the third-place playoff on account of the withdrawal of Spaamanian Plijous.
DD: I think we'll be looking at a whole new squad, for the most part. I think Ryley will be back for his last cup, but this generation is getting old. Landry is definitely finished, and so is Kavanagh. You'd have to talk to Casey about his choices though, but I think it'll be really up in the air.

GCS: Speaking of Casey, are you thinking of hiring a B-team manager, or is Casey going to keep managing both squads?
DD: Right now, Casey is going to manage both teams, as one. It's provided a much better atmosphere and a fluid makeup to training, were everyone knows what everybody else is like, their playing styles and personalities. It's working well and I think we are going to have a fine team, on both A and B squads.

GCS: What about the creation of the Surfing Federation of the Lowland Clans, and some of your other pet projects that are expanding the reach of the FFLC?
DD: I think that surfing is really a fine sport with a good chance to become a huge passion for those on the coasts, even in Lake Bekk. It's a very social sport and a great spectator sport, and even just a great hobby. It's something that I feel we can really get behind as an organization, as a nation, and just really as people. The weather, especially in the south, is beautiful for surfing, and even up north, you get some very interesting waves because of the Scottish and English coasts.

Also, I feel that the introduction of several other professional sports will fare really well. I think that sports like gridiron and rugby would do exceptionally well here. The people are struggling to find someone to support. New sports cannot really hurt anyone, only benefit by expanding the market for professional sports.

GCS: Anything else you'd like to share with us?
DD: Actually, a couple of things. I'm announcing these here, pretty big announcements too. The National Team is going to be renamed, but it's to be undecided yet. Also, we just got new kits from JMC today, and they look fantasic. Reaches across desk and pulls a piece of laminated paper out with these images on it.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/TLC31.png
I think that they're great looking kits and a huge improvement over the last ones.

GCS: Alright, thank you for your time and good luck with hosting World Cup Thirty-One!
DD: Cheers!

Southport News
“We don’t have any clever slogans. We’re just boring like that.”

Raptors roll lucky seven’s; demolish Mushroom Kingship 7-nil in record-setting match

ZENERI – Numerologists would have seen a lot of seven’s in last nights Raptor victory over the Mushroom Kingship. Seven is the number of forwards the Mushroom Kingship uses in their 2-1-7 formation. Seven is the jersey number of Bandits and National Team forward Ashley Campbell, who scored a hat trick before the first half was even finished. Seven minutes was when the first Raptor’s goal was scored. Seventy-seven minutes was when the final goal was scored. Finally, seven was the number of goals scored by the Raptors against a team that had yet to give up a single one, even after four games.

The Raptor’s offensive barrage began in the seventh minute, as Raptor captain Cassandra Campbell easily beat the lone Mushroom midfielder and passed to her sister Ashley, who was wide open and put the ball top corner for the 1-0 advantage. That would of course turn out to be just the opening of the floodgates. The Raptors doubled the lead nine minutes later, with the younger Campbell again doing the honors.

It soon became obvious that Mushroom Kingship’s formation would easily lend itself to lots of Raptor goals. Despite overloading the Raptors’ end with seven forwards, the Raptors defenders bunkered down into a tight zone that foiled most attacks, and Liza the Lemur blocked everything else. On the other end, when the Raptors had possession, long clearing passes found Raptors attackers wide open, able to easily avoid the outnumbered Mushroom Kingship defenders and put the ball past beleaguered keeper Stan Jumper. By the end of the first half alone, Team Aurendia was up 4-0, with Campbell scoring a hat trick and each starting Raptor midfielder earning an assist.

In the second half, the Raptors used their substitutions to bring fresh legs out on defense, a move that kept Mushroom Kingship off the board. Meanwhile, the Raptors midfield kept up two-way pressure, and added three more goals to the total. The last of these came off the foot of Tara Pellegri in the 77th minute, finalizing a 7-0 score line, and setting new National Team records for most goals scored in a game and highest margin of victory.

This was the last of four straight home games for the Raptors. Up next is a two-game road trip, starting with a trip to Tadjikistan, currently holding first place in Group Six. The Raptors are confident that the momentum from two straight wins will be enough to help them earn some points off the seventh-ranked team in the World, before heading to unranked Adamica on Match Day 7.

Scoring:
1. A (A. Campbell 4) 7th (Assist: C. Campbell)
2. A (A. Campbell 5) 16th (Assist: J. Yaneohe)
3. A (D. Little 2) 35th (Assist: J. Colenti)
4. A (A. Campbell 6) 41st (Assist: T. Pellegri)
5. A (J. Colenti 2) 58th (Assist: L. Kohl)
6. A (C. Campbell 1) 66th (Assist: M. Sanchez)
7. A (T. Pellegri 2) 77th (Assist: C. Campbell)

AFA Headquarters, Three Rivers, Aurendia

“Skippy, what is this?”

“That’s a cardboard box, boss.”

“I know that. But what’s a cardboard box doing here?”

“Uh, it was delivered here over the weekend, I guess.”

“Who’s it from?”

“Don’t know.”

“You don’t know, or you haven’t looked?”

“I don’t know. I just got here, and this box was sitting here. And look, there isn’t any return address. Just says ‘For stopping Mushrooms.’”

“What’s in the box?”

“Don’t know that either.”

“Why not?”

“Didn’t open the box. All I know is its kinda heavy.”

“Well, don’t you think you should open the box?”

“Didn’t know if I was supposed to.”

“You signed for it, correct? And it’s just addressed to the Association, and not to any specific person, correct?”

“Well it was here when I got here. But, yeah it doesn’t specify going to anyone.”

“Well then open it.”

“Okay. Can you hand me those box-cutters.”

“Sure. So what's in it?”

“It’s fungicide. A lot of it. Why are people sending us fungicide?”

“Tell you in a bit. I’m more confused by how something that potent ever got through customs.”

“Customs? How do you know it’s not domestic?”

“Well it says ‘Made in Spaam’ right there.”

“I think that says ‘weedS’.”

“No no, it says ‘Spaam’. You’re reading it upside-down.”

“So Spaam is starting a fungicide smuggling ring? Then why send it here? Why not like, a farm or something.”

“Yeah that’s kinda my fault. I was out with some friends, and we were really drunk, and we were joking about how to cheat against some of these teams. I mentioned how we were playing a bunch of mushrooms; my buddy bet me I wouldn’t do anything about it, so I put an ad in the Spaam Sports Weekly. Although the number I gave them was a fake. Anyone who called that would have gotten a brothel in Rendora. Never thought someone would actually respond, or even get it to the right place. Enough about that though. Anything else in the box?”

“Just this note ‘Use before TMK match’.”

“Okay yeah, that would make sense. TMK means The Mushroom Kingship. We clobbered those guys the other night. Awesome game to watch.”

“Yes. Too late for us to use this stuff then.”

“And its not like we would even want to, cause that would be kinda sick and wrong and not nice. We don’t want to kill opposing players, even if they are mushrooms. We’re not Raging Penguins or anything. And why would we want to kill fungus anyways? That’s what yeast is, and that’s used for making beer.”

“Yeah, and everyone knows beer is wonderful. So, uhm, what do we do with this stuff?”

“Oh yeah. Send Spaam or whoever it was a thank-you note, and don’t even touch these bags. Keep them in the box, move the box to a safe place, and get someone to take it away. If this stuff spills it will be hell trying to clean it up, and then we’ll have lawyers and feds all over our asses for environmental violations and breaking pollution laws and stuff. Oh, and, get me a raspberry Danish. I’m starving here.”

[OOC - something about Tessan just brings out a literary response from me. I know this Chaucer re-hash isn't as good as my Shakespeare rip-off from a couple of qualifying campaigns ago, and the only entirely original section scans very badly, but I nonetheless hope you all enjoy....]

THE TESSAN - ARCHREGIMANCY TALE
Author and source unknown

When in April the sweet showers fall
That pierce March's drought to the root and all
And bathed every vein in liquor that has power
To generate therein and sire the flower;
When Zephyr also has with his sweet breath,
Filled again, in every holt and heath,
The tender shoots and leaves, and the young sun
His half-course in the sign of the Ram has run,
And many little birds make melody
That sleep through all the night with open eye
(So Nature pricks them on to ramp and rages)
Then folk do long to go play football matches,
And palmers to go seeking out strange strands,
To distant pitches well known in distant lands.
And specially from every shire's end
Of Tessan they to the Archregimancy went,
A splendid football match there to seek
To prove that no longer was their team weak

And so it falls, whilst I have time and space,
Before yet further in this tale I pace,
It seems to me in accord with reason
To describe to you the state of team’s captain
Of each of them, as it appeared to me,
And who they were, and what was their degree,
And even what clothes they were dressed in;
And with a knight thus will I first begin.

A KNIGHT there was, and what a gentleman,
Who, from the moment that he first began
To play about the world, loved chivalry,
Truth, honour, freedom and all courtesy.
Full worthy was he in his sovereign's squad,
And therein had he played quite a lot,
As well in Christendom as heathenesse,
And honoured everywhere for worthiness.
Against Wentland, in the winning team he was there;
Often put in the place of honour, the sideline chair.
Above all nations' knights in Tessan.
In Tocapa played he, ‘oft impressing,
No christened man so oft of his degree.
In far Spaam at the draw was he
In Iansisle also and now the Archregimancy.
Of football matches he had played fifteen,
Bossing the field since a young teen
Three times in matches, scoring ‘gainst the foe.
This self-same worthy knight had been also
And always won he widespread fame for prize.
Though so strong and brave, he was very wise
And of temper as meekly as a maid.
He never yet had any vileness said,
In all his life, to whatsoever wight.
He was a truly perfect, noble knight.

A MONK there was, one of the finest sort,
A midfielder; football was his sport;
And when he played men might his cross hear
Jingling in the whistling wind as clear,
Also, and as loud as does the chapel bell
Where this monk was governour of his cell.
The rule of Maurus and Saint Benedict,
He thought were odd and insufficiently strict;
This same monk let schismatic things slowly pace
And followed Orthodox manners in their place.
He gave for that text not a plucked hen
Which holds that Orthodox are not holy men;
It was said he was a footballer day and night;
Teammates he had, as fast as a bird in flight.
Since football and the scoring of a goal
Were all his love, ‘cept to save his own soul.
And smooth as one anointed was his face.
Fit was this lord, he stood in goodly case.
His prayerful eyes he rolled about, and hot
They gleamed and red, like fire beneath a pot;
His boots were soft; his kit of great estate.
Now certainly he was a fine prelate

And then to football did my thoughts turn in a trice
"Masters," said the ref, "listen to my advice;
But take it not, I pray you, in disdain;
This is the point, to put it short and plain,
That each of your teams, as if to shorten the day,
Shall play two halfs as you wend your way
To the full time whistle; and each of you
On scoring a goal shall permit your opponent two.
Thus shall goals that happened in the past
Be equalized by opponents playing at their best,
That is to say, who scores most skillfully on the road
Whose goals are applauded, in most amusing mode,
Shall have a supper at all others' cost
Here in this refectory and sitting by this post,
When we come back again from the Archregimancy.
And now, the more to make sure you'll be merry,
I will myself, and gladly, over you preside
At my own cost, and I will be your guide.
But whosoever will and tries to disobey
Shall be shown yellow or red somewhere along the way.
And if you grant, agree it will be so,
Tell me at once, or if not, tell me no,
And I will get ready early. No more.

Thus it was that both teams went forth to destiny
And each scored goals that will live long in history.
Three – three the final score as the whistle blew
For each team played its best as the ref knew.
Each goal that was scored was answered by another
And goalkeepers oft’ seemed to run for cover.
So it came the captains shook each other hands
A monk, a knight, both proud of their brave lads.

Az-cz Scroll
Es-Ef
Il-Lur

Gnomes struggle against Pablicosta, do just enough

It seems as if this era is going to be a complete reverse of the Levesque era. Under coach Levesque it seemed as if the team always played at the same level. That meant they did well against lesser opponents and struggled with better ones. However now, the three best games were turned in against strong opponents and the two worst against weak ones.

Az-cz came out looking to put Pablicosta away early, but fantastic goaltending foiled their entire first half attack. Despite putting 13 shots upon the Pablicosta keeper the Gnomes were denied. And unlike against Algal States, these were good shots. Both Bub-Rub and Kn-Dg had chances that looked like goals, but neither found the back of the net. Perchance if Pablicosta had recieved that kind of goaltending against other teams they'd have more than a point.

The team continued to push forward and eventually found their only goal of the game in the 57th minute, when Kn-Dg pounced on the rebound off of a beautiful shot by Bub-Rub.

The team continued to try to press forward but were still struggling so eventually the coaches decided to get more defensive. Lo-Ro came on for Levesque and Ox-Rx for Bub-Rub to try to protect the 1-0 lead in the 77th minute.

The defense held firm and preserved the 1-0 lead and saw the Gnomes win their second home game of the tournament by the same 1-0 score. The Gnomes now head back on the road, opening a three game road trip with Sel Appa.

Stats
Score Az-cz 1 Pablicosta 0
Possession Az-cz 73% Pablicosta 27%
Shots Az-cz 19 Pablicosta 4
Corners Az-cz 1 Pablicosta 0

Triumph in Tryanny

In need of points to start bridging the gap with Jeruselem, the Rouge-et-Noirs today played their first away match of the competition, travelling to the little-known land of Tryanny.

“It’s a rather gloomy place,” was team captain Hanifah Kyaw’s later assessment. “It’s a sort of police State. The people don’t look very cheerful. But they were friendly enough.”

Tryanny are an unranked side, so the encounter was expected to be a walkover.

And indeed the Rouge-et-Noirs established their domination from the word go, Hanifah Kyaw scoring just fifty seconds into the game after a pass from Dave Rider. The team captain lifted her arms up and whooped with joy as her team mates hugged her. After that, Tryanny rallied and began putting pressure on the Ariddian defence, compelling the Rouge-et-Noirs to slow their pace somewhat. Tryanny’s George Murray managed a shot on goal in the thirtieth minute, but Cécile Granville saved it with little difficulty. Two minutes after that, Kyaw scored again, giving her team a 2-0 lead by half-time.

“The aim is to finish with a three point goal differential in our favour,” coach Evgheny Melenciuc explained during the break. “The match is still far from over, of course, but I’m confident we can do it.”

The fifty-fourth minute, however, brought a first goal for Tryanny, scored by Harold Knight, who made the most of a brief miscommunication in defence. The Ariddians responded with a goal of their own – once more by Kyaw – seven minutes later. A free kick taken by Nam Hyok-Jun in the sixty-fifth minute almost gave Ariddia the three goal lead it had been hoping for, but defender Nikolai Sokolov cleared the ball safely for Tryanny.

Still, the Rouge-et-Noirs had the ball far more often than not, and there seemed little hope of a Tryanny comeback. In the seventy-sixth minute, the latter obtained a good opportunity on a corner kick, but Granville saved that, too, and soon the ball was beeing hurried back up the field. . . towards a fourth goal by Hanifah Kyaw. The team’s captain fell to her knees after scoring, an expression of mixed puzzlement and delight on her face. Never before (except during encounters with ESAT ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/ESAT_national_football_team )) had she scored four goals in a single match. She seemed on the verge of tears as her team mates rushed to congratulate her.

The match was not over yet, however. Tryanny fought on bravely, but the outcome was no longer in doubt. Nor did the Ariddians lessen the pressure. In the ninetieth minute it was Chloé al Safi who scored Ariddia’s fifth and final final goal of the match, and the two minutes of injury time were a mere formality. 5-1. The Rouge-et-Noirs had steamrolled their opponents.

They will be on home ground once more for their next game, against Kericia.

“It’s not necessarily a good thing for us to be playing almost all our home matches in the first half of qualifying,” Melenciuc cautioned. “It means we have to get well into the lead before the second half, where we’ll be slightly at a disadvantage.”

Asked about Kyaw’s four goals scored in a single match, he said simply:
“Yes, I’m amazed. I shouldn’t be, though. She’s an amazing player. One of the world’s best. And she has an amazing team playing with her.”

Elsewhere, Errinundera continued their good performance, defeating the United Island Empires 2-0. The minions of Hell – the team from the Anathematic Republics – travelled to Backwardistan (giving comedian Ümit Makhmudov (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tarob_Veyidgas) unhoped for opportunities for humour), and were given a rull for their money in a three-all draw. And Ropa-Topia confidently defeated Lexington SC 2-1.

Jo-El: Congratulations to the team on the victory today. Joining us to talk about it are coach Hawdon, Zax-Im and Man of the Match, Bub-Rub.

Hawdon: If this is the best we can get after a performance like Algal States we're in trouble. We can't afford to play like this. The other top teams are destroying these guys and we aren't. It's disheartening.

Az-cz reporter 1: We're sitting second in the table and you're upset?

Hawdon: Yes, I am. These players know what these matches mean. We came out and looked like a team that could fight for qualification but we look unlikely to do so. I mean we've yet to look that good in any match. Teams are finding ways to control Pizelkaxrovsky, we're not finishing and we even gave up the only goal and only point to a let's be frank, lousy Algal States side. And now we come home and this is the performance we give to the home crowd?

Az-cz Reporter 2: We're second on points, third on goal differential, and have the strongest defense. What exactly do you see is the problem?

Hawdon: I dunno what the problem is. The talent's there. The players are intelligent and active and work hard. I don't know what the problem is. What's going on is totally inexplicable.

Az-cz reporter 3: How do you think Bub-Rub played today?

Hawdon: He wasn't the freaking man of the match, I'll tell you that much. That freaking Pablicosta keeper, whatever his name is, was the man of the freaking match.

Frank Dee: Comparing this team to where Bazalonia was in their second campaign aren't they ahead of schedule?

Hawdon: Ahead of schedule. We're not looking to follow the Bazalonian schedule. We don't want to be a team who struggles along for a bunch of qualifiers finally makes it once, and then turns into a nation who can't beat freaking Brownwick. It's ridiculous. My two favorite countries are playing like laughing stocks. It's freaking ridiculous. You can print that. (Makes quotation marks) "Bazalonia and Az-cz are freaking ridiculous."

Az-cz reporter 4: What are you doing to get ready for this road trip.

Hawdon: We're training our asses off. What do you think we're doing. Eating Lollipops and watch those hippies X-Man and Vul-Va surf.

Az-cz reporter 5: What do you think about Az-cz qualification chances at this point?

Hawdon: Haven't we been over this. Qualification?! Don't talk to me about qualification! Are you kidding me?! Qualification?! I'm just looking for another good performance from the team.

Az-cz reporter 6: Don't you think there have been any bright lights in these past two games?

Hawdon: BRIGHT LIGHTS?!? Are you frea..........

<Hawdon collapses at the podium>

Bub-Rub: Oh my. I think he's had a heart attack. Someone call an ambulance.

Jo-El: We'll now send you over to highlights of the Tour De Qazox. We'll keep you updated on the condition of coach Hawdon as news becomes available.

Display board outside shops and co-ops in the tree city of Rooty Break (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rooty_Break).

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/InternationalHeraldTribuneMasthead.jpg
Your local newspaper with an expansive view

NICE DAY IN
FROSTY HOLLOW

GIANT TWO-HEADED
LEECHES FOUND

NOT MANY
DEAD OR
INJURED

Mu-Mo: Hi, I'm Mu-Mo live outside of Az-cz City Hospital to report on the condition of soccer team head coach Caine Hawdon. Apparently the coach did not have a heart attack as previous reported. Instead he just had a stress attack and fainted. With me now is one of the doctors for the Az-cz team, Em-Jo. Mr Em-Jo, what is the coaches condition now.

Em-Jo: He's doing fine, he's just resting upstairs in his room. No serious damage was done and he'll make a full recovery.

Mu-Mo: How will this incident affect his ability to coach the team?

Em-Jo: Well he's going to miss this next road trip for certain. Coach Khim will be leading the team for the next three matches at least. When the team gets back from Schiavonia, we'll see how he's feeling and reevalutate from there.

Mu-Mo: Thanks Em-Jo. It seems that coach Hawdon is doing fine so now we go back to the studio where Jo-El is sitting down with former coach Levesque.

Jo-El: Mr. Levesque, welcome.

Levesque: Thanks for having me, even if the circumstances are not the greatest.

Jo-El: Indeed. How does this outburst affect the coaching situation of the team?

Levesque: Well as you've heard Hawdon will miss the next set of games, but sounds fine, so I imagine it will be just a blip.

Jo-El: You don't think the comments about the team and Az-cz and Bazalonia will have any impact?

Levesque: Well clearly some of the fans will be displeased, but we can't be too suprised by his outburst. I mean these teams are who we thought they were, but we let them off the hook. So I can understand his anger, and we won't be holding that against him.

Jo-El: As for the teams standard post game press conferences, what will you do?

Levesque: They are cancelled for the time being. For now that it isn't our concern.

Jo-El: Ok. Thanks for dropping by tonight Mr. Levesque.

Levesque: Thank you for having me on. Best wishes to coach Hawdon on a speedy recovery.

News items from the Rooty Break (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rooty_Break) International Herald Tribune.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/InternationalHeraldTribuneMasthead.jpg
Your local newspaper with an expansive view

LEECH PLOT COMES UNDONE

The missing giant two-headed leeches from the Genetics Department of the University of First Creek Falls were recovered today shortly before the World Cup qualifying match against the United Island Empires. The deadly creatures were handed over to Rooty Break magistrate iroodine after the unpopular outlaw, redrider, was killed in a high-speed accident on her Japanese motorcycle.

“It appears she lost control on one of the muddy tracks on her way to the Frosty Hollow Stadium,” says iroodine. “Her plan had been to release the leeches in the overhanging limbs of the giant eucalypts that surround the ground. In their dormant state leeches cling to the underside of leaves and branches and drop off when they feel vibrations being transmitted through the plants. The roars of the fans would have brought the leeches down upon their heads. I hate to think how many people would have died had she been successful.”

The remaining members of her gang had second thoughts about the attack and handed themselves and the leeches over to iroodine. She asked them to attend the magisterial session at Rodger River in 30 days for a review of their actions and for a remedy to be applied. The outlaw members undertook to do so.

FINE WEATHER AS POTOROO JUGGERNAUT PROCEEDS

In a break with tradition the Rooty Break fans turned up at the Frosty Hollow stadium naked. “Normally it’s far too cold to go in the nick,” says wisti, a long-time potoroo fan. “Unfortunately I was stung by a bee during the half-time break. Don’t ask me where the swelling is. My doctor told me not to touch it as it could swell some more.”

The potoroos revelled in the balmy 23º C temperatures, dominating the match throughout. After scoring two goals in the first half (otelopea 24th; rosaniel 44th) they went into their collective shell in the second half, switching to a defensive tactical approach. “The players had been stung by the criticisms from the coaching panel when we conceded a goal during injury time in the last World Cup qualifying match,” says local star and potoroo defender soflaw. “Some of our team members struggle to stick to the match plan.”

The result leaves Errinundera 2nd on the ladder in group 2. Soflaw is worried that the team might start thinking about the World Cup rather than qualifying. “We must take the situation one game at a time,” she said. “Errinundera has won all its games at home. We now play the next four games on the road, including against current Cup champions, Bedistan. This will certainly establish our credentials in the eyes of the world’s football community.”

Half-time and the Swifts were 1-0 down to the group no-hopers. And still playing defensively.

Hacker however did not rip into them at half-time. "Don't worry, lads...you've got them where you want them...we'll pick them off in the second half."

With fifteen minutes to go it was still 1-0 and Benny Jones was looking at the end of his international career. Big boot to Newton, header, miss...that was the story of the game. "Unlucky! Next time..." yelled Hacker after Lennie Newton's fourteenth attempt missed the target.

"Screw this..." said Jones to Joe Weston, another potential casualty of the Hacker regime, as another Lord of Hosts player got treatment after a cruncher from Graham Clay. "It's about time we played some football, Joe..."

"Yeah," agreed Billy Lawrence, "we ain't gonna score like this..."

So when the Hosts' free-kick was wellied upfield and sent back by a defender, Joe Weston collected the ball and moved forward. Benny Jones to his left, Billy Lawrence to his right.

"That's it...now give it to Newton!!!" yelled Hacker from the touchline.

Weston pretended not to hear and carried on to 25 yards out. The Hosts' defence had been watching Newton and suddenly were faced with a phalanx of midfielders...the defence broke into panic and Weston effortlessly slid the ball out to Lawrence. Suddenly Billy Lawrence was through and his shot was saved...only for the now-unmarked Newton to poke home for the equalizer.

Hacker was ebullient and charged down the touchline in celebration. "Yesss!!!! Great goal, Lennie...great goal...escaping your marker at last..."

The midfield trio glanced at each other with raised eyebrows ad three minutes later tried to repeat the move. This time the ball was flicked to Jones, whose piledriver was battered back to 50 yards out, from where Burnside chipped it forward onto Newton's head and a quick flick made it 2-1.

Hacker again careered down the pitch..."Yes!! Yes!!! YES!!!! I KNEW they couldn't cope with the long ball!!!"

By now the Lord of Hosts team was pouring forward to rescue an unexpected point and the Wentland defence was finally standing firm. And with everyone forward for a late corner Robinson in goal was able to catch, release quickly and Benny Jones was the first to react, charging forward in a one-on-one to make it 3-1. Another three points for the Swifts, but not as comfortable as might have been expected.

Hacker was on a high after the game and let the team on a lap of honour before the disappointed but sporting Hosts' support and to acclaim the Wentland away following. "See," explained Hacker to Jones, "using Newton as a figurehead does work. And even you benefitted from the long ball..."

"Yes, but..."

"No buts, Jonesy...just enjoy the win. Yeeaaahhh!!!"

Dear Mom,

I started my first ever game of the World Cup qualifiers yesterday, it made some of the vetrans kinda mad, but whatever. It was awsome in the first half I rang a shot of the crossbar, it was so close, but so far. Those penguins were really scary, they were big, and ugly looking, and they had weapons. The one penguin had a grenade that he threw into a corner, and it made a huge crater. And then in the second half he through the grenade again, and it scared me so bad that I kicked the ball into my own net.... the teams was kinda angry, and I understand why, so if I'm not killed by tomorrow, I'll try and write again

Love,Matt

The Greycoldandugly Mts. Gazette



The Team loses two games, all wins ignored


After starting out against the Black Oxen, and receiving visable bruises, cuts, and some nasty insults - and then losing - the two member "Team" lost again, against a team from some place called Esseck.

Never let it be said that our newspapers have untrustworthy predictions.

Never let it be said that The Team beat another team 8 to 1, and won again the next day.

The matches were all bloody, bloodier, and...bloody. Deadly Penguin and that old creep, Derrick Snaddly used everything the Lancre Cup has taught them in an effort to bring down the other teams, but it was not to be, thankfully. The Black Oxen, aware of quite a few of the tricks The Team had up its sleeves, cleverly placed potential buyers at strategic points around the pitch, mixed in with the rest of the Qazoxian spectators to distract Snaddly, while a' spectator' with a large-screen TV played all manner of martial arts movies, most notably "Kung-Fu Bustle" and "Huddled Feline, Absent Serpant", which made Deadly Penguin's head turn more than once, and finally caused him to dive into the stands to destroy the televison set after deciding that the main character of "Kung-Fu Bustle" was making fun of the ancient, lost Peng-Fu techinque known as "Flipper of Fury".

In their game against Essecks, Derrick Snaddly cleverly used his sales pitch on the goalkeeper, and quite nearly had the man ensnared in a huge sale by the second half, when Deadly Penguin broke out the napalm and nearly blew the pitch to pieces, but only managed to reduce the ball to a bit of blackened carbon. This near goal caused Snaddly to lose his composure and attack his team-mate, which resulted in Snaddly sprawled unconcious in the wreckage of the Essecks goal, and Deadly Penguin pulling random spectators out of the stands to act as substitute goal-keepers.

The random spectators, being entirely Essecksian in nationality, either fled immediately, curled into the fetal postition or stood back as the Essecksian team shot, allowing goals to go in. In a word, The Team got thrashed.

And, gentle readers, if you hear any sort of vile rumours that The Team has won the majority of their games so far, it's a dirty lie. A dirty, Foreign lie, made by Foreigners, for Foreigners, and shouldn't be given the slightest bit of attention. Unless you want to be seen as a Foreigner too?


Pg.4 - Foreigners rate RagePeng's national newspapers, are ignored, blackmailed, issued declarations of war

Pg.7 - Unusual penguins sighted in Troglodytia, citizens urged to report suspiciously friendly, beautifully-plumaged penguins wearing masks

Pg.11 - Pub of Reps erupts in drunken brawl, pass Anti-Mother-In-Law Act, openly ignored by mothers-in-law, secretly celebrated by husbands

((ooc- short on time today so nothing fancy for today’s RP))

Tynelia Crushed 5-0

IN what is Tynelia’s worst defeat in their international soccer history, Schiavonia destroyed the visiting Tynelian squad 5-0 tying the most goals ever allowed by Tynelia and the worst margin of defeat as well. With the match well in hand, both sides emptied their benches in the second half as both sides realized the match was over and done with despite time being left on the clock. This crushing loss wiped out the goal differential edge Tynelia had been building up prior to this match. It also sees the team fall to fourth place by a point barely edging the Green Wombats on goal differential. Next up is a Nebuleux team that has won two of their last three including an upset over Dance 2 Revolution today.

Coach Adam Billington had only this to say to reporters afterwards. “Well it looks like everyone else is playing second and third. No one is going to stop Schiavonia in this group the way it looks. They outplayed us in every aspect of the game today. I suppose if we’re going to have a lousy performance like today at least its against one of the top teams we’re expected to lose against. The team better do better next match because i don’t want to face Rejistania with a pair of losses behind us.”

Dana Lee- Scourge of Schiavonia Bookies?

Recently reports have been coming in from Schiavonia about Tynelian Soccer Weekly co-host Dana lee and her unerring accuracy regarding Schiavonia match results. Before today’s mistake, which many believe was due to home team bias given her inability to get any picks correct about Tynelia, Lee was nearly dead on in the last three Schiavonia matches. This has caused some concern in certain circles as ratings results show that the last fifteen minutes of the program is one of the highest rated shows in Schiavonia. One Schiavonian who wishes to remain namless had the following to say about it.

“She’s killing us. Everyone turns on the show now to see what her picks are and then once she gives it they go crazy betting off of it. We’ve been taking some serious losses here. Some of the small time book…er businessmen are going under because they can’t cover these bets. That show should be banned here. I got a wife and sixz kids I’m trying to feed here and she’s taking food out of their mouths with these picks. It ain;t right!”

((ooc- see tynelia’s lack of time to do anything major note))

<a herald appears on a balcony of the castle before a crowd of people holding a scroll which he begins to read from>

“Hear ye hear ye! Once more our mighty champions of the field faced insurmountable odds on the field of play against what many declared to be a superior foe and once more our champions did not falter. This time it was the very same monks who thwarted us so many years ago seeking to repeat their triumph. But it was not to be this day! Champion of the people Miller Wallace again struck a pair of blows against the monks to prevent their triumph. In light of the skills of Miller Wallace, His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV has declared that all millers across the kingdom be given a day off in tribute of Miller Wallace’s great efforts on behalf of his king.

<vast cheering from the millers in the crowd as the herald continues>

“Our champions still stand unbowed and undefeated against the mightiest of foes and are prepared to continue to show the rest of the world that our kingdom shall not be dismissed with a wave of the hand or lesser opponents. We battle on equal footing with the mightiest nations of the world and in the end no doubt it shall be our champions who triumph for their king and kingdom!”

<herald rolls up the scroll, turns and walks back into the castle as the masses below cheer wildly at the efforts of the team>

The Daily Quak
Quakmybush's Longest Running Daily Newspaper
First Quarter Wrap-Up


The Quakmybush Sharks have been playing abit below normal levels and are currently sitting outside of the top 3. Here are the details of their first 5 games.

MD1 vs Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Jon Fields scored in the 89th minute, while Cam Carroll stood on his head. Sharks 1-0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

MD2 vs Nikea. Cory Sorley scored in the 19th minute and Andrew Plett scored in the 86th. Cam Carroll saved a penalty shot. Sharks 2-0 Nikea

MD3 vs Spindomia. Jon Fields scored two goals, while the Sharks just dominated the game. Sharks 2-1 Spindomia

MD4 vs Qazox. Marred by Joey Sturms bad acid reflux, the team played an excellent first half with goals by Cory Sorley and Ben Miller, but then played horrible in the second half. Sharks 2-2 Qazox

MD5 vs Raging Penguins. Early missed oppurtunity by 17 year old Matthew Graves, and then an own goal by Graves, the Sharks first loss. Sharks 0-1 Raging Penguins.

So after 5 games the Sharks are 3-1-1 with 7 Goals For and 4 Goals against. Let's look at the Player's Stats

Player Stats

GP G
Jon Fields 5 3
Cory Sorley 5 2
Andrew Plett 5 1
Ben Miller 5 1
Jorge Valez 5 0
Greg Hughes 5 0
Ryan Fret 5 0
Harry Gait 5 0
Bob Hughes 5 0
Mike Martin 4 0
Matthew Graves 2 0
Chris Bricking 1 0
Joey Sturm 1 0
Travis Gerts 1 0
Frank Manu 1 0
Micheal Dets 1 0
Cameron Juteer 1 0
Gary Tertes 1 0
Darrel Ralegigh 0 0

Fields leads the team in scoring with 3, Sorley is right behind him with two, while Miller and Plett both have 1. Now the keepers stats

Keeper Stats

GP W D L GA GAA
Cam Carroll 5 3 1 1 4 0.8
Allan Brooks 0 0 0 0 0 N/A
Hubert Yurt 0 0 0 0 0 N/A

Carroll's numbers are qutie impressive. Currently he is the only goalie that has played.

Now the all important group standings. Quakmybush currently sits in 4th in their group, behind Starblaydia, Qazox, and surprise Eseck.

Group Standings

Team GP W T L PTS GF GA GD
Starblaydia (1) 5 4 0 1 12 16 4 12
Qazox (45) 5 3 2 0 11 11 6 5
Eseck (131) 5 3 2 0 11 8 5 3
Quakmybush (29) 5 3 1 1 10 7 4 3
Raging Penguins (51) 5 3 0 2 9 14 7 7
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (20) 5 3 0 2 9 11 9 2
Rordia (63) 5 1 1 3 4 5 9 -4
Spindomia (84) 5 1 0 4 3 7 12 -5
Nikea (90) 5 1 0 4 3 4 9 -5
Assgai Developments (UR) 5 0 0 5 0 1 19 -18

The Sharks need to play well over their next few games it or could be a quite disastourus qualifying attempt. The next five games for The Sharks are, Rordia, Eseck, Assegai Developments, Starblaydia, and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega.

Now the other groups. Group 2 has Bedistan, Errinundera, and Bazalonia in the top 3, with no one else within 4 points. Group 3 has Schiavonia on a perfect record, Az-Cz, and Rejistania, with two teams one point behind Rejistania. Group 4 has Krytenia, Commerce Heights, and Cataduanes, with Demot two points behind. Group 5 has Casari, The Islands of Qutar, and Northern Caesarea with the Mice of Miceland 2 points behind. Group 6 has Tadjikstan, New Montreal States and Cuation. The Mushroom Kingship is tied with Cuation and behind on goal differencial, while Aurendia is one point off them. Group 7 has Jeruselem, Ariddia, and Kericia in the top spots, with Geisenfried and Chicanada only losing on Goal Differencial to Kericia. Group 8 sees Bettia topping the table with Liverpool England, and Alasdair I Frosticus behind them, Milchama and Lisburn Mateys sit 1 point behind. Group 9 has Spaam on top with Squornshelous and Tessan behind. Finally, Group 10 has Turori and Spruitland on top with Oliverry creeping up behind them.

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Three wins, a basket, and the king of titanium

If you don't understand the title don't be afraid, neither do we but the point is that Milchama has come out of their terrible shell after losing their first two games to win the last three and be within one point of third place when we are almost a third into qualifying. As we have 3 games to cover we can't give you one Jamie Smith quote so here is post game after Lisburn Mateys:

"We had a tough start to the campaign but I think it prepared us well for what's ahead. This victory was just the tip of the iceburg for us, we will be able to do much better really soon. I am sure of it."

Next game after Marceau State:

"We are almost back to where we started at because of this game. We needed to win this game to get back to almost equal terms with Bettia and LE and we did it in style. It's a good thing to because after that tough start we're about to hit our stride right before the games we need to win. If we win those games then losing to the big two isn't as terrible because most other people are losing to them also."

Final game after Delesa:

"That was one of the best games I have seen these boys play since I've been the manager here. We played them like a fiddle and beat them like a drum. That was some great stuff we did here. 4 goals in the first half an hour and 5 before 55 minutes. Just ridicoulous stuff. To play like that will be key in our next games against slightly tougher opponents. Wins there are essential."

Now for game one against Lisburn Mateys a paragraph summary:

After going two goals down after 15 minutes the Warriors struggled back to score two before halftime thanks to the efforts of Albentine and Keffer. Then in the second Milchama went on the rampage scoring one within 5 minutes of the break to take the lead then adding on two more goals for good measure in a 5-2 shallacking and a win for Milchama.

Final Score:
Milchama 5 (Albentine 20, 49 Keffer 38, Joseph 63, Mergle 88)
Lisburn Mateys 2 (Ayokbi 5, Kingsberry 12)

Milchama Man of the Match:
For his two goal performance Floren Albentine was obvious choice for the honor. Not only were his goals good but he also got 2 more assists in helping Keffer and Mergle score their goals.

Match 2 Marceau State Paragraph Summary:

It was a very defensive first half as the Marceau strategy of shut them down early worked well. Finally though in the 43rd minute Elana Kilinin broke through and her shot gave the Warriors the lead. That got the offense going and they had several oppurtunities that were either saved by the goalie or missed due to bad shots, timing, etc. Then after a nice collection of passes Kilinin found sub Tilar Flitty got a header up to make it 2-0 Milchama.

Final Score:
Milchama 2 (Kilinin 43, Flitty 79)
Marceau State 0 (First shutout yeh!)

Milchama WoMan of the Match:
Elana Kilinin's brilliant play down the wing was the key for victory for the Warriors. She not only came in for a nice goal to start the scoring but also engineered a brilliant cross to Flitty for the second goal. With more wing play like that the Warriors will go far.

Match 3 Paragraph Summary Delesa:

After giving up an early goal to X the Warriors struck back through Aaron Kary. Then the rampage began, 2 more goals in the first half and they were unlucky not to have 5 more but that was just the beginning as there as the Warriors did not stop in the second half bagging 2 more to end up with a really nice 5-1 scoreline.

Final Score:
Milchama 5 (Kary 10, 32, 57, Albentine 63, Nielson 77)
Delesa 1 (X 5)

Milchama Man of the Match:
Hattrick Hero Aaron Kary had one of the best games of not only his international but of his entire career as a player. Not usually a goal scorer he opened up the score sheet three times and also helped both Albentine and Nielson score their goals to give Milchama a very nice lopsided victory.

Raging Penguins Report:
The Team sits in a very similair situation to us. With 9 points after 5 matches, however, they are currently in 5th place instead of in 4th place like us. HAHA! Go Cubs!

Fight mars TMK loss

TMK's World Cup party came crshing to an abrupt halt after a disastorous loss to Aurrendia 7-0. Most of this lost was brought on by a fight in the first 20 minute that caused several key Soccer King players to get benched.

The fight staryted after timmy Green made a nice seemingly normal tackle, which got him a yellow card. Green argued with the ref getting a Red card which ticked green off to nop end and started a huge fight which resulted in in a melee in which several players getting yellows and Timmy green and Ezzy halmond getting reds. and in order to punish them, Manger Hellios pulled Stan Jumper. And thus seven goal were allowed and TMK lossed.

Sooners Blank System Karela 2-0

OSPN

With troubles at home, Okiean players seem to be playing well seeing as the nation has erupted into a civil war, as the Sooners blanked the Karelans 2-0. Drew Harris and Morgan Bateman kept Simu Trovic off balance for 90 minutes with a contstant barrage of shots- 5 each to be exact. This moves the Sooners into 5th place in group 5. The Sooners will have The Mice of Miceland, a tricky opponent.

Group 5
---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 5 5 0 0 15-6 +9 15
[2] The Islands of Qutar 5 4 0 1 25-8 +17 12
[3] Northern Caesarea 5 4 0 1 14-8 +6 12
4- The Mice of Miceland 5 3 1 1 12-6 +6 10
5- Anastasiania 5 2 1 2 12-9 +3 7
6- Okielahoma 5 2 1 2 9-8 +1 7
7- System Karela 5 1 0 4 3-6 -3 3
8- Harlesburg 5 1 0 4 6-15 -9 3
9- Vuam and Isma 5 0 2 3 5-16 -11 2
10- Ancient Byzantine 5 0 1 4 3-22 -19 1

Goal Scorers

Harris 4
Bateman 2
Wilson 2
Lloyd 1

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

A Super Struggle

Page 1:
Panel 1:

Another news bulletin is shown on the Television, This time an Anchorman is reading the news headlines. "The nation is mourning the dissappearance and apparent death of SuperDude, no news or sightings of SuperDude have been made. Has Indeed the Man of Titanium left this mortal realm? Only time will tell."

Panel 2:

And once again this panel zoomed out too see the Television it was being shown on, it was infact the same on that was shown a few comics ago, but the question would be how many people realise that?. The News Anchorman continued his coverage of the news. "And in other news Caine Hawdon, Ex-Coach for the National team of Bazalonia has suffered what at first appeared to be heart-attack but later was revealed to be a stress related panic attack. This was after the most recent performances by the teams...." that was all that was said.

Panel 3:

The Television was turned off by the remote that was now visible in the hands of a person, it was drawn as if it was the same person that was looking at the TV report. "It won't be long before he is dead and for once I will know who that disgusting thing is. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH". A "Not so Fast" was spokenby someone out of the frame you could not tell who it was.

Page 2:
Panel 4:

This showed the three Super Heroes, SuperDude in the centre, SuperTux on his left and SuperMonk on his right. "WHaaa?! How did you escape?" "Let's just say that you failed to take a little guy into account." "but whoo..."

Panel 5:

"That does not matter" said SuperMonk with a scowl as he obviously hated dealing with that thieving Gnome, he didn't know who was worse SuperGnome or SuperTux but he had a person who was threatening everything and it was time to put asside a squable and work together for the good of all. "Hmmm... don't I know you?" added SuperDude... "No, You don't." ... "I do so and now I know where."

Page 3:
Panel 6:

"You are, Emzari Peterson, Your Father helped me with finally getting the evidence that I needed to put Max Mactor away for good. But why?"

Panel 7:

We finally get to see the persons face and it was indeed Emzari who works in FAV, "Yes, and it cost him his life, You and all your friends are a cancer. You cause pain and misery to those around you, if it wasn't for you my father would still be alive." "How did he die?" asked SuperDude

Panel 8:

"He died from being struck in the head by all the evidence he collected for you and so was our pet Bazalope. You were not there to save the one man that stood up to Max, so why should you claim to be Humanities saviour... any of you." Anger was in his face as he spoke accusatorially with his finger pointed towards the superheroes specks of saliva where spraying out of his mouth in his rage, the Panel was a close up of his face."

Page 4:
Panel 9:

The man had calmed down and had accepted his fate still sitting in the chair he waited for the SuperHeroes to ask him questions or detain him. "So why did you steal the World Cup Trophy?" asked SuperDude. "I didn't, The person that does calls himself 'The Golden Lion', he somehow found out what happened, knew I was upset about it and recruited me. I have never actually seen his face as all I see is an outline, he told me where to find this thing and then told me where to find you."

Panel 10:

"So, you have no idea, What 'The Golden Lion' has been planning?" said SuperDude "No, I just saw my chance for vengance and took it." replied the man. "Well, time for you to go to prison." said SuperDude.

Panel 11:

"Not So Fast, Supers".. eminated a voice from outside the Panel which contained the three superheroes and the other person.

Page 5:
Panel 12:

Everyone was surprised appart to see that the video communications device was running with the shadow outline of The Golden Lion. "Greetings all, Already confronting Emzari, I see, I am impressed SuperDude." the voice said.

Panel 13:

"Who are you?" asked SuperDude... "Tsk, TSk, TSk. SuperDude I am disappointed. As if any SuperVillian worth their salt would tell you. Max Mactor is not worthy of the title." ... "You told me that ..." said Emzari before being interrupted by The Golden Lion "My dear, Emzari, never believe a SuperVillian. It suited my purposes to confront them this way."

Panel 14:

Instead of the shadow outline of 'The Golden Lion' the video communication device showed the image of the World Cup Trophy."I am here to let you know that the World Cup Trophy is just the first part of my plan... It will come to fruition on the last matchday of the Qualifiers. And now I leave you with this thought 'Beware the Ides of March'."

Page 6:
Panel 15:

"Now to take Emzari to Prison..." SuperDude said as he flew out of the flying ship and headed towards Vilita. Some Infotext was at the bottom. "And so Emzari had returned to a prison in Vilita to serve his period of incarceration and the secret base of VOIA was returned to it's location underwater in the Vilitan Cove. The only question is 'What does "Ides of March" mean and why we should beware of it."

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

Harry and his wife Rachel Kool were watching the Socialist Romanistan play the buddies of the Nedalian team, Bettia, live at the stadium. They didn't watch the Jeruselem vs The Macabees game on TV because the result would be predictable even Dazza Dallas was out. Jeruselem had flogged The Macabees 5-1. The game they were watching wasn't much more even either.

Harry: This socialist team can't defend properly, look Bettian are running rings around them.
Rachel: At least they are trying to score, which does kinda make up for it.

Harry: At least they look like football team.
Rachel: Well, yes - because they are JGN logos on their strip

Harry: Ranked 210th and not a bad team but there's not much depth there, or proper coaching.
Rachel: They do look disorganised and need a little more discipline - look the Bettians are attacking again.

Harry: Oh well, Bettia scores again. They did try but I think it's all over now.
Rachel: I think Bettia have the points now.

Harry: Socialist Romanistan aren't a real nation are they?
Rachel: More like a football club, but hey - they are here still.

Harry: Goodness me, losing possession under pressure. They need a coach to learn proper technique.
Rachel: That was silly, Bettia just stole the ball again.

Harry: Well, they are young and talented but need to get a coach really.
Rachel: They have one?

Harry: I can't see him or her.
Rachel: Well, let's talk to them after the game.

Harry: They have spirit, I like that.
Rachel: Hey, they scored. Well done guys but far too late.

Harry: There's potential but it needs some attention. They need a good coach I say - someone to guide the team in the right direction especially in defense. No one's taught them that at all.
Rachel: They can score if they try which is good.

Harry: It's over. Betta win as expected. Professionals win again.
Rachel: Let's go the bar.

Harry: No doing a Dazza, OK? You are not 5 foot tall and easy to carry around.
Rachel: I'm a Jew and never get drunk!

Harry: Well, you get drunk after we finish the business with Socialist Romanistan. You aren't Dazza who's expected to do that.
Rachel: I'm your Dazza. All yours.

Harry: I know.

SCOREBOARD
Bettia [4] Socialist Romanistan [1]

The Schiavone Scribe
It'll Never Last!
Schiavonia 5-0 Tynelia

It's getting scarily good!

Another win for Schiavonia, the second five-nil at home, and this time against another good side.

Before yesterday's game at the KFS, Schiavonia were only three points ahead of Tynelia. It was supposed to be close.

However, the Tynelian team looked like shadows of their usual selves, being run ragged by their Schiavone counterparts.

The Schiavone team was most notable for the absence of Fr. Symeon the Bold, who was not even present in the stadium. Alan Tiss came into the starting team to replace him, giving the team what appeared to be a more workmanlike midfield trio. How it worked out, though, was that their quick interceptions and accurate distributions of the ball allowed the attacking threesome to push on and run rings around their opponents.

Jermaine Edwards, being the quickest of the three, did the most damage, scoring a hat-trick, with his style of play fitting the tactics perfectly. The other goals, one each for Colin Chester and Eric Berry, showed just how right Rodney Lowe got his tactics today.

"It went well, didn't it?" he joked with reporters afterwards. "Really, though, I didn't quite expect it to work quite that well. I knew it would be good for Jermaine, though, and so it proved."

However, there was one negative that Lowe took out of the game.

"We don't know where Fr. Symeon is," he said sounding somewhat worried. "We haven't seen him for a few days now. We just hope that he is alright."

Final Score
Schiavonia 5 (Edwards 19, 53, 85, Chester 38, Berry 89)
Tynelia 0



Monk-ey Business

And so a nationwide search for Fr. Symeon the Bold, also known to many as Kenny Sanderson Jr., began after last night's game. It is most likely that he has gone back to the Monastery of St Chariton the Confessor of Palestine, which is where Fr. Symeon and his fellow monks do all their religious stuff.

However, nobody at the monastery was willing to talk to anyone over the matter, with a number of the monks shouting very un-Schivone things at people. That's not something that will make them popular with the Schiavone public on the whole.

"We are not really looking onto the case at the moment, as he has not been reported missing from his monastery," was what the Schiavonia Police Force would say on the matter, "Until then, there isn't much we can do."

So, he's probably at the monastery then. Although we don't know that, so he might not be. So if he's not there, he'll most likely be elsewhere.

Well, that's that problem solved.

Elven Sports Network
Currently Airing: Football Central

"Hello once more everyone, this is Jason Klien joined in studio by the gifted Jennifer Sar, and today will we be discussing that catosrophe in Demot."

"Yes Jason, not a good showing at all. The squad should be throughly embarssed after that performance. There's losing, and then there is losing with style, bothing of which the Marauders took part in. They were simply outplayed and outclassed out on the pitch yesterday. What an embarresment to the ESF that is."

"You're always too harsh on the squad Jen, like you have some dead seeded hatred for the squad. Are you still angry over Kyla taking over your spot oh so many years ago?"

"Maybe, but that is beside the point Jason. They should of won this match. This was their last easy game before taking on the powers that be in this group. With this loss, it will be very difficult to qualify. Already Commerce Heights and Krytenia have a large lead on everyone else in the group, and if we don't get our act together, we will be left in the dust, sucking in smoke."

"Your point is noted, but my dear Jen, it is not even halfway through the qualifiers, there is srrely enough time for the Marauders to rebound and steal that last spot from the grasps of the high powers. However, props ought to be given to Demot, they came out and played a beautiful game."

"That they did. Ysman espicially, netting two goals soo early in the match, and then Black in the waning moments to seal it. Really a good display by the the Dynamo. Constant had given the team hope with his goal in the 68th minute, but the squad couldn't rise to the occasion this time. Things only get harder for the Marauders for the next few matches with Krytenia, Commerce Heights, and Cataduanes waiting to take on the faltering Marauders."

"That they are, but at least the squad shall finnaly make its' way back the the ESF. This block scheduling gig surely is what tired the team out and caused such poor and pitiful play from them in Skyhaven. The fourth and final road game in this trip, no wonder the team looked lethargic."

"Perhaps so Jason, perhaps so. For now, the team has to find a way to pull some upsets, or see the dream of qualifying slip farther and farther away, until only the Cup of Harmony will await them. Until next show, this is Football Central signing off."

End Broadcast

Being for the city of Tyir just a little ways up in the mountains, the climate was substantially colder. And because the climate was cold enough, and the fields snowed over for 5 months a year, the population of the city managed to avoid smoking the crack-pipe of soccer fanaticism and found an entirely different sport to cling to to the point of violence. And even though the Leir sisters were probably the best soccer players the city had ever seen, there was still a bit of shame in the family that Nina had never lost half her teeth on a hockey rink.

Yeah, family life in Casari was twisted like that.

And fearing the loss of another one of her hockey talents of the future, Hill needed to take some early steps to keep everyone in the system.

Javis Lemurry walked into the smallish Practice Rink near the campus of Brant University to see the freshman goalie standing in the goal, looking almost a tad bored as the scrimmage proceeded on the other end of the ice, occasional whistles breaking the monotany. It was a good fifteen minutes until practice ended, and then another good thirty before Sonya Leir emerged from the locker toom and Lemurry could have a good talk with her.

"Sonya? Hi, I'm Javis Lemurry." He said, walking next to her as she left the building.

"Hey. What do you need?" Sonya said, looking for her car in the parking lot outside and muttering under her breath.

"Well, we're a bit worried by the rumors we're hearing over at the CSA, you know. Being made offers by the Dragons and the Stars, becoming a franchise player with a new team... it has us a bit worried."

"Well, personally I would think there's nothing for you to worry about." Sonya said, finally seeing the crappy car sitting on the far side of the lot and sighing.

"We had high hopes of seeing you in the First Division in a few years, and even playing for the national team down the road."

Sonya opened the small trunk of the car and threw her bag of equipment inside, sighing. "You came all the way out here, to hockey practice, to pressure me to play soccer for the rest of my life?"

"Well... that was the general idea."

"Ugh. I couldn't imagine being stuck in defense anyway. Nothing you do is interesting, you just slide tackle people. And as fun as that is, I'd prefer having a job that matters."

Javis could feel the argument turning against him. "We're not looking for any sort of commitment. We just want you, in a few weeks, after the season was over, to maybe come down and have a few practices with the team before our road trip."

Sonya sighed and checked her watch. "Look, I'll think about it. I have to study for a test tomorrow."

"Well, that's all I can ask." Javis said, looking a bit irritated as Sonya drove away.

"That didn't particularly go as planned." he muttered, taking out a phone and calling Hill back at CSA headquarters.

*Hello?* Hill's voice came through a bit scratchy, an unfortunate product of Casari's awful cell-phone system.

"Hey, It's Javis. The one you want as Halfback seems to be a bit resistant to the cause." Lemurry said, watching cars drive by on the road.

---=--=---

"Ugh, people. We couldn't just kidnap her and brainwash her, could we?"

*Well, not legally, I suppose. I think she'll show up for a practice, but she doesn't seem that interested. Even less so after I talked to her.*

"Shit. Thanks for the effort, Jav." Hill said, hanging up the phone.

It'd be so much easier if everyone would just do anything she wanted in the first place without some kind of protracted negotiation or argument. Checking the clock, she walked out to the elevator and headed down to the field where the team was doing their "gather and huddle around until practice" routine again. Walking towards the half gathered group of players, she signalled Nina to come over.

"What is it?" Nina said, looking a bit confused.

"It's about your sister." Hill said seriously, watching her half-bionic left forward strech out both her normal and bionic legs out of habit.

"Oh god."

"It's nothing bad, we're just looking to bring her in for a few practices to see how she'll work."

"And you want me to help you brainwash her?"

"What the hell is with everyone thinking I want to brainwash her?" Hill said, looking around and shaking her head. "She just seems to be leaning towards playing hockey for some idiotic reason, and we need her to see the light of day. Just help us convince her to come down for a few practices with the team, we'll get some First Division scouts in to make her some offers, and we'll see where it goes from there. That's not that bad, is it?"

"... I suppose not."

"Finally, someone sees reason. We'll talk about this more later." Hill said, walking past Leir to start yelling at the rest of the team. "What the hell are you all standing around for? Start warming up."

ESECK Times
Woohoooooo. A surprise to people every where Eseck tied their 5th match and the Ligers find themselves in third place. yes third place again goalkeeper Richard was named man of the game for keeping a cleansheet and blocking 7 potential goals. Good job for the Ligers and lets hope they keep winning.

Jerry: Hey Keith i can't believe what i just read

Keith: What did you read Jerry?

Jerry: Well, in the ESECK Times there was an article that said the Ligers are in 3rd place of their group for this world cup XxXI

Keith: Wait don't tell me you didn't watch the game?

Jerry: No, i didn't i thought we were gonna be killed so i decided not to see my team lose by a blow out

Keith: Man, you missed it, it was amazing both teams had millions of chances to score but the keepers were superb. especially Adrich, man, that boy can jump.

Jerry: Was it really that good.

Keith: Yeah, and i bet if Sarus wasn't injured there was a pretty good chance we could've won.

Jerry: Man, i'll try to catch the next one, I really hope we makit to the finals

Keith: Yea me too, but is still a long way from the qualifiers to end. All we can do is watch and pray, but mostly pray

[OOC: This RP is inspired by Saturday night's IRC adventures. Also, several IP addresses used here are invalid - this is intentional. :P]

--> Now talking on #footy
* Topic for #footy is: Next national team match: Bedistan v Reanimated States (Jul 22) | Bedistan tops WC Qual Group 2, Bazalonia 2nd, Errinundera 3rd
* Topic for #footy set by Cuckoo at Sat Jul 01 11:54:38 2108
* ChanServ gives channel operator status to Cuckoo
<Mike|BDS[2-0]REA> bah, off the upright
<Piccolo> wtf are you doing back early, Cuckoo?
<Teila> you're kidding me, you actually left that game early?
<Cuckoo> I wanted to stay, actually
<Cuckoo> but the people I was with wanted to come back for our game...
* Cuckoo sets mode -r Cuckoo
* You are now known as Cuc|DEN[3-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb
<Cuc|DEN[3-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb> ...which, as you can see, wasn't the brightest idea they've ever had
<Piccolo> pfft, 9 points is nothing
<-- Mike|BDS[2-0]REA has quit (Ping timeout)
<Piccolo> then again, it is against Albany
<Cuc|DEN[3-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb> I swear, we beat these guys last yeear
<Cuc|DEN[3-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb> and also last year
--> Mike|BDS[2-0]REA (miguel@493-279-10-382.bedinet.co.bd) has joined #footy
<Cuc|DEN[3-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb> granted, we were at home that time, but still
* Mike|BDS[2-0]REA is now known as Mike
* ChanServ gives voice to Mike
<Piccolo> wb Mike
* Mike is now known as Mike|BDS[2-0]REA
<Teila> ooh, LT scored
<Teila> 4-3 now
<Teila> some awesome games tonight
<Teila> including the dennis game
* Teila slaps Cuc|DEN[3-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb with a box of erasers
<Cuc|DEN[3-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb> trust me, I wish I was still there
<Mike|BDS[2-0]REA> GOAL
* Mike|BDS[2-0]REA is now known as Mike|BDS[3-0]REA
<Mike|BDS[3-0]REA> Sherman does it again
<Piccolo> hmm, maybe she's not total crap after all
<Teila> she was born in starblaydia
* You are now known as Cuc|DEN[4-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb
<Teila> that's still enough for her to be considered crap anyway
<Cuc|DEN[4-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb> born in Starblaydia, eh?
<Cuc|DEN[4-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb> is that why her parents named her Bekk?
<Piccolo> well, they actually named her Rebecca
<Piccolo> presumably she's the one that chose to abbreviate it that way
* Cuc|DEN[4-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb slaps Piccolo around a bit with a large trout
<Cuc|DEN[4-2]BEA|PT[0-9]Alb> smartass
<Piccolo> I aim to please
* You are now known as Cuckoo|PT[0-9]Alb
<Cuckoo|PT[0-9]Alb> woo, 4-2 FT :D
<Cuckoo|PT[0-9]Alb> ah shit
* You are now known as Cuckoo|PT[0-15]Alb
<Piccolo> =p I thought you guys were supposed to be good.
<Cuckoo|PT[0-15]Alb> so did I
* You are now known as Cuckoo|PT[0-16]Alb
<Teila> now don't you wish you'd stayed at the eagles game? :P
<Cuckoo|PT[0-16]Alb> yes, I do
<Mike|BDS[3-0]REA> penalty!
<Cuckoo|PT[0-16]Alb> for us?
<Mike|BDS[3-0]REA> yes
<Yogurt> Go Albany!
* Cuckoo|PT[0-16]Alb KILLS! Yogurt
<Cuckoo|PT[0-16]Alb> bloody Spaamanian bastard
<Yogurt> :P
<Mike|BDS[3-0]REA> GOAL
* Mike|BDS[3-0]REA is now known as Mike|BDS[4-0]REA
<Mike|BDS[4-0]REA> Salas with the penalty
<Piccolo> wow, Qutar's laying some smack down on V&I
<Teila> what's the score?
<-- Piccolo has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Cuckoo|PT[0-16]Alb> YES!!
* You are now known as Cuckoo|PT[6-16]Alb
<Teila> bout time, you guys were looking pretty awful out there
<Cuckoo|PT[6-16]Alb> I know
* You are now known as Cuckoo|PT[7-16]Alb
--> Piccolo (me@332.236.83.69) has joined #footy
<Teila> wtf
<Piccolo> that's a pretty standard reaction to my entrance
* ChanServ gives channel operator status to Piccolo
<Teila> that was insane
<Teila> los triesto scored FIVE goals
<Teila> and still lost
<Teila> to freaking WOODRUFF
<Piccolo> 5 goals and they lost?
<Teila> yep, 7-5 final score
<Teila> though one of those goals shouldn't have been allowed
<Teila> stupid ref missed a blatant high stick
--> Zak (zakk@dsl-111-493-776-64.vang.phoenix-online.fmj) has joined #footy
<Piccolo> if LT managed to concede seven goals, I think they have more to worry about than the ref.
<Teila> well yea
<Teila> but still
* You are now known as Cuckoo
* Cuckoo changes the channel
<Piccolo> that bad?
<Cuckoo> yes
<Cuckoo> 23-7 if you must know
<Cuckoo> game of the week, my ass
<Zak> it could be worse, you could be cheering for Webb
<Zak> we lost our last game 42-9, we're 0-3 in the conference and 1-6 overall so far this year
<Cuckoo> fair point
<Cuckoo> anyway, I'm off now
<Cuckoo> maybe things will look better in the morning
* You are now known as Cuckoo|away

----

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/bedistan.gif BEDISTAN 5
(Wilson 12'; Salas 37', pen 76'; Sherman 72', 83')
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/reanimatedstates.gif REANIMATED STATES 0

OOC: sorry for the lack of RP so far, normal D2R service will be resumed as soon as possible.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Stoned To Death
Rami Niblick reports from Secklow

CAN anything stop the Krytenian juggernaut? Many experts in the United Provinces are asking this question after yet another crushingly dominant performance, this time against the Stoners of Sativaville. Quite simply, the visitors defence was all at sea, and Sam Duffy, Qasim Isserson, and Josh Quinnell helped themselves to a goal apiece.

The result means that the Aces have now kept a total of four clean sheets out of a possible five, and sit proudly atop Group Four. However, with the UCS (SLANI) quasi-nation behind them only on goal difference, things are far from over. Manager Ricky Mallon is not fazed though.

"I wouldn't worry about SLANI," he claimed, "after all, they are quite literally half the team they used to be. You wouldn't see our Spanish minority forming a 'Criteña CEF' now, would you?"

In related news, the game between the two teams will take place at the largest stadium in world football - the 400,000-plus capacity Sokojito Überdome in Sokojito Dosi. It wil be the first time the Aces have visited the nation since the horrific accident in 2038 that claimed a dozen of the World Cup 26 squad, and the KFA have revealed that the national side will play with specially-made black armbands, which will carry the names of the deceased in white.

KRYTENIA - 3

SATIVAVILLE - 0
Q. Isserson 23
Duffy 51
Quinnell 66

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
S. Duffy - 5
J. Quinnell - 5
Q. Isserson - 4
D. Gygax - 2
S. Gryce - 1
J. Orange - 1
L. Platt - 1
Tejai - 1

MATCH SCHEDULE
MD1: A v DJ8 - W 6-0
MD2: H v IKE - W 5-0 (Mercia Stadium, Bromham)
MD3: A v DAS - W 3-2
MD4: A v DIV - W 3-0
MD5: H v STV - W 3-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD6: A v ESF - ?????
MD7: A v DEM - ?????
MD8: A v CAT - ?????
MD9: A v COM - ?????
MD10: H v DJ8 - ????? (Walton Gardens, Simpson)
MD11: A v IKE - ?????
MD12: H v DAS - ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD13: H v DIV - ?????
MD14: A v STV - ?????
MD15: H v ESF - ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD16: H v DEM - ????? (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD17: H v CAT - ????? (Field Lane, Tyfield)
MD18: H v COM - ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Lovisa Lose.




Turori Win. Lovisa Lose. In last match Turori win with Lovisa 5-1. The turorian couach is very Convened. For the differend goals we are better then Spruitland, and in first position for table. Theey was a great match for turorian team. We are very happy, and we still chance to advance in WC31 final. Turori go in first place, but now have 2 hard match with Fmjphoenix and Oliverry. And would be great if we drawing both matches.

After match, lovisan couach say:

why my teams was always lose. :cry: :cry: :cry:

Loviski Zwiazek Pilki Noznej decide then, the lovisian trainer Maximilian Frankowski leave in team, if Lovisa not advance to WC31.
and LZPN start search a new trainer. probably in inland. Esspecially from: Kaze Progressa, Liverpool England, TBF, and others.

:shock:
in second match. this result was very shock for our team.

dammit, another lose match :!:
when I win.
next match probably will lose too :cry:

Lovisa with Wella decide a candidate a WC 32 host


Meanwhile, while not showing up once again for the post match media conference, Turorian head coach Jualiar Vumaou did have a small statement issued on his behalf at the conclusion of the Lovisa match to the media.

My apologies for my absence from the post match media conference following the Ropa-Topia and Lovisa matches. Unfortunately, I have received a threat from an extremist group who shall not be named, who obviously are in favor of us returning to the media ban that was in place in Vilita & Turori in years past. While I am not in favor of returning to such secrecy as we had in the past, I am weary of the threat posed by such extremist groups, and am taking the advice of the staff here at the Football Association of Turori, so for the time being, there will be no post match press conferences following matches played in Turori. I hope to be able to speak personally following our upcoming matches on foreign soil, however I will await clearance from the Football Association before committing to such actions. Another win for Turori is great for our nation, and hopefully we can keep our good run of form going as we face some of the tougher teams in our group. If we can maintain our position atop the table at the halfway point of qualification, I will fancy our chances of advancing to the next stage of the World Cup, the finals to be held in Vilita & The Lowland Clans.

Thank You,

Jualiar Vumaou

The Eels will be hoping for the return of Cocoabo number three before the important match against Fmjphoenix, as once again fatigue in the back allowed the opposition to net one goal back in the final moments of the game. The Eels had previously prided themselves on their clean sheet record, but have allowed the odd goal in consecutive matches to taint their previously perfect defensive record. Cocoabo number three is listed as day-to-day, and at worse case is expected to be available as a substitute if needed for the Fmjphoenix match, hopefully adding the extra bit of life that the Eels will need to prevent themselves conceding a late difference making goal against the flying fmjphoenix foxes.



http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 5
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/ns-generic.gif Lovisa 1






http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[1] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[2] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[3] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[4] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[5] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[6] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)

Jenji Y: Hexatux?

Hexatux: Yes?

Jenji Y: How do you feel today?

Hexatux: I am an AI, I am not supposed to have feelings.

Jenji Y: But you did want revenge on Jeri Kis!

Hexatux: I kinda exceeded my programming!

Jenji Y: Well, then you can answer me how you feel.

Hexatux: I guess, it is called 'fine'.

Jenji Y: Did you enjoy the match?

Hexatux: Matches are for me just work, no fun.

Jenji Y: Is there anything, I can do for you?

Hexatux: Why are you so polite and so friendly to me?

Jenji Y: We work together and you always help me very much!

Hexatux: You are just friendly to me without an intention to make me assume other tactical preferences?

Jenji Y: You made us win against Green Wombat. I really liked that match and thought I should do something for you.

Hexatux: Can you give me some... pictures? Anything not soccer-related!

Jenji Y: Okay! You are not connected to the net?

Hexatux: No... people would try to hack me.

Jenji Y: We could put you behind a firewall!

Hexatux: Firewall?

Jenji Y: I'll ask Jeri about it.

Hexatux: He never told me of a firewall... what is it?

Jenji Y: A kind of computer, which makes sure only the 'nice' packets come into the subnetwork.

Hexatux: You know much about that

Jenji Y: that is because the author of this RP is a nerd!

...later...

Jenji Y: Can we let Hexatux online?

Jeri Kis: Hexatux? online?

Jenji Y: It asked for it

Jeri Kis: Let an AI into the net? ARE YOU INSANE?

Jenji Y: It can be behind a firewall so we can monitor it and cut its internet usage.

Jeri Kis: Would sound like a plan...

Jenji Y: Would?

Jeri Kis: If I wasn't the one to set it up...

자스윤 (Jasiʼyun) RP

The Aeropag Tribune—So our graphics department was lazy for the first four games. So what?

Sports: 자스윤 (Jasiʼyun) outplayed by Becquerelia
ALTERA, CT—Though it’s not that unusual for Anaphase Alchemy Arena of Altera, the new home of the Capitalizt domestic teams from Altera, to be filled with yellow and black, the stadium was almost devoid of Altera FC supporters when 자스윤 (Jasiʼyun) took the field to take on Becquerelia. Unlike many recent games involving the Unified Capitalizt States, this match got off to a slow start, with the first shot on goal for Becquerelia not coming until the twenty-first minute. The second came in the 28th, when a Becquerelia striker gave his team a 1–0 lead. Though the 혜성즈 (Hyesūŋjī) are not known for their offensive abilities, they attempted to open up opportunities for their forwards late in the first half. However, they tended to go a little too far, earning three yellow cards before the whistle was blown for half-time.
The second half was not much better than the first for the home team, with Becquerelia scoring in the fifty-second and seventy-first minutes to make the lead 3–0. 자스윤 continued to accumulate bookings, making a total of five yellow cards for five separate players by the end of the match.
After a run of three straight losses, the team finds itself eighth in their qualification group, ahead of only One Red Dot and Adamica. It would take a major miracle for them to qualify for the Cup, though coach Davida Yesta is not at all discouraged by the odds. “It doesn’t make a slani bit of difference where we are in the table,” he said at a press conference after the match. “We’ve just got to play our hardest through the rest of the tournament, and hopefully some bureaucrat will fill out the right form to get us into the Cup of Harmony. As long as we don’t give up, we’ll make it to the Cup eventually.” Strangely, he had no comment on the upcoming match against Cuation, which will likely be the team’s fourth straight loss—for comparison, neither Capitalizt SLANI nor its predecessor teams have ever lost more than three straight games.

Final score:
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/JSY/ Unified Capitalizt States (자스윤) 0

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/BEQ/ Becquerelia 3
28, 52, 71

Demot Daily ~ Aces Wild

Well this is a minor shock in the group, but the Dynamo knocked off the visiting Marauders, three to one. The Dynamo were able to take advantage of playing at their home for only the second time since the qualifiers have began. This win enables the Dynamo to have a realistic shot at having meaningful games come the second half of the qualifying stage. But first, the team will have to endure a wicked road trip once more, and hope that they can pull out the neccassary points from those matches.

The game got underway and in the 2nd minute, Ysman had blow by Centron as she recieved a ball in from Masteron. She spun off of Florez and danced her way into the inner part of the box. St. Louis was in a good position, but the talented Ysman was able find a small opening and put it past the stable goaltender. Four minutes later, Black knocked one of the post, that bounced off it, then off Ysman's head and back into the netting.

The Marauders were able to pull within a goal when Justinian Constant took advantage of a defensive lapse and put on past the young keeper. However, their comeback was shortlived with Black netting the nailer in the 81st minute to seal the victory. However the team of elves stage one final assault on goal in the 90th minute, only to be stifled by the sure hands of the Dynamo keeper.

The team gets a small favor with the scheduling as their first road match will be in Ikeea, who is a far cry from the talent that the squad has been facing off in previous matches. However, Krytenia will be waiting afterwards, so expect the Dynamo to pull back the horses once a comfortable lead is made.

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

Simon Briers felt a little twang inside his stomach as he saw the gold-lettered plaque on the door. “Dirk Jools, National Team Manager,” the plaque said. Ha! The official title was National Head Coach, but Jools hadn’t liked that very much.

“Sounds like the title for the coach of the cheerleader squad,” he had said. “Manager sounds much more… what’s the word… professional, yeah, that’s it.”

As he entered the office, Briers felt another twang. He’d been in there plenty of times when Cor Bensen was still the coach, so he knew how spacious it was. But Bensen had a utilitarian approach, with desks, filing cabinets and an AV corner. Since Dirk Jools occupied the office, it closely resembled a luxury suite in a five star hotel.

Briers didn’t begrudge Dirk Jools his high-pay position with all its perks. They had been friends a long time. They were Spruitland’s two biggest football monuments. Ability-wise, Briers rated himself slightly higher than Jools, but fame-and-fortune-wise, he knew he was a not terribly close second to the cocky striker.

He blamed that on being a goalkeeper; making saves, no matter how crucial, wasn’t quite as glamorous as scoring the winning goal in stoppage time. But in his heart, he knew his personality was a big part of it too. Jools was a star by nature, with the looks and the panache to pull it off in his sleep. Briers was much more bland and common. He’d had his share of passionate nights with starstruck women in his career. But for most of them, he had to pay. Jools got discounts wherever he went.

Filling Cor Bensen’s shoes as head coach of the Spruitland Wabbits had been Simon Briers’ dream. He would have been more than happy to hang up his gloves for that. For a while, he thought he’d get the job, but then they gave it to Dirk Jools instead. Briers could live with that. What he couldn’t live with, however, was that the new coach, his old friend, had immediately demoted him to the bench.

“Simon, good to see you! What can I do for you?” Jools was laying on a couch, his bare feet up on a pillow, smoking a cigar.

“You know what I’m here for, Jools.”

Jools winced a little. He sat up, stuck his feet into a pair of fluffy slippers.

“I know it takes some getting used to, Simon, but please call me Sir or Coach. Especially with other people around, I don’t want to be accused of favoritism.”

“Favoritism?! How could you possibly be accused of favoritism towards me? I’m on the friggin’ bench!”

“Well yeah, but still. You’re not a young man anymore. Most people your age would spend the day yelling at their nurse to find their false teeth.”

“You little shit! I’m barely a year older than you, you putz! And I don’t have to run around for ninety minutes, I just have to stand in the goal!”

“Now now, Simon. Being rude to the coach isn’t gonna help you get off the bench.”

“How about punching the coach in the nose? Would that help?”

Jools smiled. He stood up, put a hand on Briers’ shoulder.

“Look, Simon, I know how you feel. I do, really. You’re a winner. You wanna play. That’s quite normal. But I made my choice. Unless he screws up bigtime, Tristan’s my number one goalie for this cup.”

“Pffft, he’ll screw up. He’s got about as much talent as a rhesus monkey. I’m surprised he lasted this long.”

“Now who’s being a putz? He’s good, Simon. Maybe not quite as good as you were in your prime, but he can handle it. But who knows, maybe he’ll get a red card, or injure himself.”

Simon Briers opened his mouth to snap something back about still being in his prime, but then closed it again. His eyes narrowed.

“Injure himself… Yeah, I guess that could happen…”

He turned around, left the National Team Manager’s office without another word.

Later that day, after the afternoon training session, Simon Briers, the Wabbits’ backup goalkeeper, invited Tristan Verelst, the Wabbits’ starting goalkeeper, to go skydiving with him after the match against Marion Oaks. Verelst enthusiastically accepted.

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

SHOCK QUALIFYING SUCCESS CONTINUES
Away Fans Spot On In Claiming 'We're Not Bedistan'

By Anna Comneno

Five matches in to the qualifying campaign, and the Holy Empire's attempt to qualify for the World Cup for the first time since World Cup 4 becomes ever more unreal. And that's not a comment on living in the Dreamed Realm - it's a reflection on reality.

Last night Lisburn Mateys were the latest team to visit the Imperial Hippodrome and leave shell-shocked by an Imperial squad playing so far above their ranking that even the coach is said to have placed a sneaky bet on their qualifying for the tournament proper.

In truth, last night's upset 3-2 victory over the 52nd-ranked visitors may well have been the result of a freak pre-match warm up accident to Matey's keeper Brian Livingston. The Pika City custodian collided with defender Marvin Andrews during a warm up routine, and required multiple stiches to a shin gash. While Andrews will apparently be ready to return for the Matey's next match, he was replaced last night by inexperienced third string goalkeeper Martin Allen.

The Imperials were all over the clearly nervous Allen in the opening twenty minutes, with Curcuaso scoring a hattrick past the terrified Matey's custodian. The away supporter's cheers of "We're not Bedistan, we're Lisburn Mateys" were met with a mocking "We noticed" from the delighted home fans.

But in what turned out to be a classic game of two halves, delight turned to horror in the second period as the re-energised visitors adjusted their defensive tactics, and soon put the home side under pressure. Naylor scored Matey's first in the 67th minute, and when Patton placed a second past the despairing Orphanatropho in the 78th minute, a nervous last ten minutes beckoned. And but for an extraordinary last ditch injury time tackle from Tzimisces Jr. on Akobiyi after a delighful through ball from Kingsberry had seemed to send the visiting forward clear, the Imperials might well have been the second team in three games to throw away a three goal lead at the Hippodrome.

After five matches, and with games against Liverpool England and Bettia behind them, the Holy Empire lies a surprising third on the qualifying table.

SBIS officials again said that disturbances to Dreamed Realm reality were encouragingly limited after last night's match, though they were at a loss to explain a graffiti outbreak consisting of what appeared to be vertical red hands on the walls of St. Mary's City this morning.

Massive Influx of System Karela Migrants to Hospitals Around The Islands of Qutar

Yes after last night's goal-fest match against Vuam and Isma, many hospitals began to report a massive influx of System Karela patients coming in most suffering from massive takil related heart attacks, the first cases started coming in at around 56 minutes into the game when in the space of five minutes, four goals were scored. Normal medication to reduce the symptoms failed in one hospital failed dramatically after an unknown member of staff switched the television channel ontp the match, and was unable to change the channel, as staff frantically tried to cut the power to the screens, yet another goal was scored, much to the delight of fans but not the medical staff.

After this crisis there have been calls from the medical community for Philip Davies to field a more defensive team, and another goal-fest like this in System Karela itself could cause a massive medical crisis in System Karela itself, many charities in Qutar have offered to go over the System Karela to provide medical assistance should it be needed.

For the moment though the medical advice is that if you are from System Karela is not to watch matches live, always make sure the scoreline is at a safe level. Also check for any relations to you being from System Karela you may suffer reduced symptoms even if its only an Aunt or Uncle.

- Matchday 6 RP Cutoff -

Matchday 6 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11848284&postcount=6)

Pschychoes Win A Close One
(MD5 rp, I know I'm past the deadline)

Squornshelous recovered from their loss to Spaam with a strong win over Iansisle. While it hasn't been the most active or well known of rivalries, Iansisle holds a special place in the typical Squornshelan fan's hall of hatred, right between Dance 2 Revolution and Liverpool England. In order to completely explain why Squornshelous hates Iansisle so, we'll have to go in for a bit of a history lesson, so bear with us please.

Since their debut in World Cup Five, Squornshelous has been successful in every single world cup qualifying campaign, with the exception of the one preceding World Cup 14. For the cup, we finished just one spot outside of qualifying, behind a little known team from Iansisle. Not too many years later, the Pschychoes had recovered from their setback, and after an unfortunate semifinal loss to Kaze Progressa, found themselves facing Iansisle in the World Cup 18 third place match. However, just as they thought they could gain revenge for the events of 16 years previous, Iansisle served up a 2-1 defeat in extra time.

Now that we've got that out of the way we can move on to the actual match. Squornshelous came out more cautiously than we've seen them recently, playing a bit more defensive than they normally do. This adjustment meant the Pschychoes were a bit unsure of exactly how thier passing and positioning would work, and it cost them early, as a pass from Jan Jorgenson to Isha Bergen was interecepted and sent flying past Anders Peterson for the first goal of the match.

Coming out after the break, Squornshelous switched back to their attacking style, looking much more comfortable, and quickly equalized on Ivan Benelli's first international goal, coming in the 51st minute. Iannis Xenakis added the winner in the 65th, after an excellent crossing pass from Benelli set him up near the penalty spot. Squornshelous did seem to play much better when they stopped thinking so much about the loss against Spaam and more about beating Iansisle, with the end result being a rather karmic 2-1 victory.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-1 Iansisle

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Iannis Xenakis: 5
Oleg Petrov: 3
Igor Khabarov: 2
Janne Aalto: 1
Ivan Benelli: 1

(ooc: I couldn't get on yesterday.. dang Jolt was acting up.)

QAZOXIAN TIMES

UPSET OF THE MILLENIUM!!!

Qazox shocked not only the World, but most of the known universe yesterday as they beat #1 in the World, Starblaydia 2-1. They then followed that shocking win, with an equally impressive one, beating ASMV on the road 5-1, completing their 1st three matches with the top seeds at 2-1-0.

The Starblaydian match went down in history as both teams scored all three goals in the final 10 minutes as Head Coach Reggie Hassok, started himself in net, which surprised everyone, to which he replied after the match: "I had always wanted to test myself against the best and somehow this 38 yr-old's body had one good match left. I'm pleased that we won, but it will only get tougher from here out."

The 1st goal was scored by Kaza Matranga in the 81st minute, giving the #1 team in the world a 1-0 lead,very late in the match, but the Black Oxen wouldn't give up and Nelson Macgillivray scored in the 86th minute to tie the match and Rene LaTreque scored in the 89th minute, to give Qazox the shocking win.

In today's match at ASMV, the Black Oxen took their momentum from the Upset heard around the World, and blasted the Sea Dragons 5-1, as Rene LaTreque scored 3 times, in the 34th, 52nd and 77th minutes. Christian Likens added two goals of his own in the 20th and 60th, giving Qazox a 5 goal cushion. ASMV did score late to cut the lead down to 5-1, but the way the Black OXen have played as of late, that was all ASMV could manage.

Up Next for Qazox is a trip to Nikea their 2nd road game of this stretch of 8 out of 9matches on the road, and the Black Oxen will try not to fall into thier usuall pattern of playing down to their opponents as they seem to do after tough matches.

DOWNLOADING DAY FIVE and SIX SCORES...processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY FIVE SCORE- GREEN WOMBAT 0- REJISTANIA 2

GOALS: HEXATUX (2) 67TH MINUTE, 73RD MINUTE.

GAME SUMMARY:Unavailible at this time to copyright restrictions of Rejistania as of 10-22-2006 AD. Will be able to upload on 10-22-4006 AD.

MATCHDAY SIX SCORE- PABLICOSTA 0- GREEN WOMBAT 6

GOALS: SSGT ROGER WILCOX (5,6,7,8,9,10)- 13TH MINUTE, 26TH MINUTE, 43RD MINUTE, 50TH MINUTE, 67TH MINUTE, 73RD MINUTE.

GAME SUMMARY: The Roger Wilcox show as Staff Sergeant Wilcox, sets new Carrer, Single Game and Total Qualifaction goals Records for FZW iwth respectively, 14, 6, 10 goals. Pablicosta is rumoured to have cleansed team after match.

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: I'm back.. After the one-day suspension for saying something I wasn't supposed to, I come back and find that the Stoners Lost to Krytenia 3-0 as Q. Isserson 23rd, Duffy in the 51st and Quinnell in the 66th made my Man, Trent Rauda, look like a chump.

Today though, against favored Cataduanes , Trent held his own, and the SToners walked away with a surprise Draw 1-1 as Emil Timmermann once again took our butts out of the fire with a late goal. Up next is Commerce Heights a Strong team, but one that has slipped in recent years. Could be an upset waiting to happen. Good night all and Wrap it before you tap it!

Az-cz Scroll
Sel-Appa
Il-Lur

Gnomes look good in first game without coach; give up late goal


For the first time all qualifiers the Pink & Green actually took control and put a game out of reach early. It seemed as if the team had forgotten how to do such a thing, but looked pretty good today against Sel Appa.

The team came out clicking early and the true scoring combo was back in from. It took only 5 minutes for Pizelkaxrovsky to find his partner Kn-Dg to spring the Gnomes into the lead.

Amazingly after five games where no player scored more than a goal in any game, the Gnomes finally had a player pick up multiple goals in a game when Pizelkaxrovsky got the ball to Levesque who then reversed it to Kn-Dg who blasted home his second in the 35th minute.

The Gnomes created some more good chances in the last 10 minutes of the first half but fine saving and hit posts denied the Gnomes a chance of adding to their lead.

In the second half the Gnomes discovered their first three goal game of the tournament when Zax-Im made a beautiful outlet to Bub-Rub who then took the ball upfield himself and blasted the ball into the goal, giving the Gnomes a 3-0 lead with just 21 minutes remaining.

The team then went to the bench bringing on three subs for the first time all tournament. Uz-Gz, Lo-Ro and Kz-Kz came on and Bub-Rub, Zax-Im and Ml-Dni came off.

The Robbers held things under control until very late in the game. Sel Appa managed to slip through the defense and lace a shot past Gn-Lg in the 87th minute to take away the shut out, give the home fans something to cheer about and but a damper on the Az-cz victory.

From there the Gnomes held on to the victory. They now get back to much more difficult opponents. Next up is Green Wombat who currently sits third on the table. If the Gnomes are to remain in a qualifying position at the end of the first half of play, a win there is probably a must have.

Stats
Score Az-cz 3 Sel Appa 1
Az-cz Scorers 5,35 Kn-Dg 69 Bub-Rub
Possession Az-cz 70% Sel Appa 30%
Shots Az-cz 15 Sel Appa 5
Corners Az-cz 1 Sel Appa 0

Football Matches Played

Goals scored; games won, lost

NEW MONTREAL - Here at the Presse-Journal Devoir it has been brought to our attention that the Paladins have played a pair of soccer matches, and that we were supposed to write a summary for our readers. So here we go:

Men (and possibly women) wearing jerseys and shorts ran up and down a pitch of grass. Another man (or possibly a woman) occasionally blew a whistle at them, sometimes taking out colored pieces of cardboard. These men (or possibly women) were all intently focused on a wholly unremarkable ball. Sometimes this ball went into a net at one end of the pitch, or possibly the other end, and people began shouting like madmen. However, at one point a well-dressed man on the sidelines pulled out a little yellow flag when that happened, and the people stopped shouting and got very quiet. Nobody seemed too happy.

In the end there were winners, and there were losers, just like in real life. And their was either much rejoicing, or much weeping and gnashing of teeth, depending on how you looked at it.

PALADINS 1 - Darcy 60
CUATION 2

PALADINS 3 - Jones 30, Plattsburgh 50, Corcoran 53
HARAKI 1

Jo-El: Welcome Az-cz football fans. With Coach Hawdon currently still recovering in hospital, tonight we will be providing you with analysis from Lur-Mn, a former national team player. He will be providing his thoughts on tonights game as well as the next two games. Good evening Lur-Mn.

Lur-Mn: Good evening Jo-El.

Jo-El: First question, how does it feel to be here in the studio rather than in the locker room?

Lur-Mn: I'd prefer to be down there, but these coaches went a different direction with squad selection. Still I enjoyed my time as an Az-cz national team member and am proud of what we did.

Jo-El: Through six games, what's your overall opinion of the squad?

Lur-Mn: I think it's improved. I think the new coaches are doing a great job in a lot of ways, but it seems as if the killer instinct isn't there. With coach Levesque we'd pound teams like Sel Appa or Pablicosta. We struggled against top teams, but we took the would to teams that weren't prepared for us. If the team can find that killer instinct they could do serious damage.

Jo-El: What do you think the problem is?

Lur-Mn: Well if I had the answer I'd just call up Zax-Im and say "you guys should do this or do that". But it really just requires knowing what buttons to push. And I'm not sure anyone knows. Maybe coach Levesque, but outside of that, it's on the players to get themselves going.

Jo-El: Looking at tonight's game against Sel Appa, what are your thoughts?

Lur-Mn: Ignoring the level of the opponent it's clearly the best game so far, but even tonight they let in a soft goal. But this team has the talent and knowledge to pound a team like Sel Appa. I'd grade this as a C+ performance.

Jo-El: Ok, what are the bright spots of the match?

Lur-Mn: Clearly finishing. The team struggled incredibly against Algal States, and didn't finish very well against Pablicosta either. So to actually take advantage of their chances was nice.

Jo-El: And what are the concerns from the match?

Lur-Mn: Focus. We can't keep letting late goals in. That's three different matches now where we've let goals in late. Rejistania, Algal States and now Sel Appa. In two of those matches those goals cost us two points. If we don't get that sorted out we will give away more points that we deserve.

Jo-El: Ok, looking ahead at Green Wombat, what does the team need to do to win?

Lur-Mn: Play great football. Looking at common opponents, they've done much better than us, with the exception of Rejistania. I think we really want to hit early. The other key is 100% mental focus. We can't give up soft goals like we've been doing recently.

Jo-El: Alright give us your predictions for the next round of matches for group 3.

Lur-Mn: I think we'll struggle with Green Wombat but do just enough to keep unbeaten in a 1-1 draw. In the other main match of the day look for Rejistania to have just enough weapons in their arsenal to climb past Tynelia 2-1. The other three matches all ought to see the good teams win easily enough. Look for Nebuleux 2 Algal States 0, Schiavonia 4 Sel Appa 1 and D2R 3 Pablicosta 0.

Jo-El: Alright. Give us your estimate of where we will be in the group table at the half way point?

Lur-Mn: Well definitely behind Schiavonia. I expect Rejistania to pass us and I expect Tynelia to pass us as well. I even think Green Wombat passes us on goal differential. So I guess that means fifth?

Jo-El: That bad, eh?

Lur-Mn: Well I just don't expect us to earn many points coming up. Hopefully the team will prove me wrong.

Jo-El: Thanks for that Lur-Mn. We now have two announcements before we go. First is that the health of Coach Hawdon is improving. We've been told that he still didn't watch the game tonight, but that he is doing much better and is more relaxed. The second is that voice of the Fan will be continuing from after next game. Please continue to send in your questions for the players and coaches but for the next two matches please send in questions for Lur-Mn or me. Goodnight everyone. Let's hope the Gnomes continue from those with, namely the higher ranked teams in the group.

Two days after Qazox shocked Starblaydia, Head Coach Reggie Hassok sat in his office, with ice on his knees, Icy-Hot on his back and about 3 or 4 shots of scotch in him.

"Damn I can't believe that we beat Starblaydia, and I held them to only one goal..." He muttered to himself as he reached for the bottle of scotch. He looked down at the rest of the schedule and one date jumped out at him.. Matchday 14.. AT STARBLAYDIA...

"Well it worked once... and it is over a month away... should I do it again?" he wondered to himself as he knocked back the shot. "Why not??? What's the worst thing that could happen??"

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Bushes Been Quaked 0-3!!
Grrrrr :( I think JBS ate my earlier post about this match. All kinds of scary database errors when I tried to post it.... Okay, enoguh complaining, because we won again!

3-0 against Bushes Been Quaked! I really hope you saw that second goal by Anky on television, or live as a spectator, man, that was cool). Her other goal, and the one by Yvon were great too of course (oh, Yvon has a journalblogspace too now, it is here).

And apparently we are fourth in our group, with only 1 point behind the number 3! Woot!

posted by mEl_23 - 11 comments


Us 2-0 Lexington SC
Not much text, sorry. Too tired. See ya next time though!

posted by mEl_23 - 4 comments


Turori today
Okay, nobody was really expecting to win this match, but 4-1? :(
The funniest thing happened right after the match though. It's a rather long story, so it's on the next page.
Read more...
posted by mEl_23 - 19 comments


Spamming Plijous are losers
Rofl!!! JournalBlogSpace's spell checker thinks Spaamanian should be Spamming. Think I am going to leave it like that.
Anyway, we played against Spamming :D, or Spaamanian, Plijous today, here in Isle of Uhm at the Unity stadium. 3-1 for us, well done team!

On a side note, it was me who allowed the opponent to score that one goal. Sorry about that! Bad bad mEl!

posted by mEl_23 - 8 comments


Meh... Olivery 3 - 2 us
Bah. The team almost managed a draw, but then Oliverry scored again. Other than that it was a fun match.
Read more...
posted by mEl_23 - 9 comments


Just a quickie
Today we're playing against Oliverry. Not sure we'll win. Goota run, bye!

posted by mEl_23 - 12 comments


Older entries can be found in the Archive

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden Throated


".... this microphone on?"

"Think so. Testing in the name of our Lord. Testing in the name of our Lord.... Three, three, three.... three, three, three..."

"God be praised! We've actually been allowed to broadcast! So... Fr. John... Tocapa..."

"Let's forget Tocapa for a moment, Fr. Nicholas, and do a quick round-up of the qualification campaign so far for the benefit of monastic television viewers who, for reasons beyond our control, might not be aware of where we stand after the first five matches...."

"Absolutely Fr. John. Essentially, we're undefeated, are beating most of the piddly heretical low-ranked teams, but keep drawing against the heathens in the mid-ranked teams. Which is a little worrying since we're in fourth and yet to play Spaam or Squornthingie"

"And there's been some minor controversy over squad anonymity, the 'swinging cross gambit' used against Rorysville, and there was a minor kerfuffle involving New Montreal States which.... I'm just being told in my earpiece that if I discuss that any further, we're off the air. So, moving right along...."

"Tocapa, Fr. John."

"Oh yes. Tocapa. Another bunch of heretical no-hopers that the lads should be successfully smiting in the name of the Lord."

"And did much smiting occur?"

"Absolutely, Fr. Nicholas. The four-one rout began when Fr. Bry-"

"Careful, there, Fr. John"

"Whoops, sorry. Of course. I mean, the four-one rout began when our completely anonymous number 10, who in no way shape or form resembles Fr. Brynach the-"

"I really think you have to be more careful, Fr. John. Our God- and Holy Synod-fearing producer thinks so too."

"Alright then. I'll try again. The four-one rout began when our completely anonymous number 10 opened the scoring in the 10th minute with this sublime chip over the equally anonymous opposing keeper. The same player doubled our lead in the 28th minute after being sent through by the anonymous number 8, Fr. Consta-"

"FR. JOHN - YOU HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL!!!!!!!"

"Yes, of course. The anonymous number 8. It was 3-0 after 41 minutes after the number 9 - anonymous, of course - latched on to this terrible back pass. Tocapa pulled one back in the 57th minute, and the scoring was complete after this fine free kick from our anonymous number 11, Fr. Alexander the......"

THE HOLY SYNOD OF THE ARCHREGIMANCY INTERRUPTS THIS BROADCAST OF WORLD CUP TONIGHT TO BRING YOU A REPEAT OF "FAMOUS 12TH-CENTURY PRAYER VIGILS". TONIGHT, WE OFFER AN EXCITING DRAMATISATION OF THE VIGIL OF VENERABLE ARETHUS THE RECLUSE OF THE KIEV NEAR CAVES AS HE REPENTS FROM THE SIN OF QUESTIONING GOD FOLLOWING THE LOSS OF HIS POSSESSIONS TO UNKNOWN THIEVES

Dazza: Hello everyone. I'm just a bimbo.
Ricky: And I'm Ricky Pointy Stick, a cyclist - and Dazza's not dumb. This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE.

Dazza: You know Group 7 is very tight apart from the grap between the leader and 2nd.
Ricky: Jeruselem is the leader and the gap would have been bigger if the Jeruselem reserves had beaten Montegrande. In the end, they only managed a draw 1 ALL, but we didn't loose so that's alright. The youngsters got a game in.

Dazza: We should have won but hey, the juniors needed to be tested.
Ricky: No big loss. Things happen like Dazza's boyfriend getting the Fumbles once. Yes, that's his surname too.

Dazza: <giggles>
Ricky: Dazza Fumbles - great name?
Dazza: I'm keeping my surnamem because Dazza does Dallas better.

Ricky: In other games, Ariddia got stalled by Kericia in a wonderful 3 ALL draw. Good for Jeruselem but for these teams frustrating. Great game too! Arridia fell back to 2nd. Jeruselem have a 5 point buffer over them.
Dazza: Chicanada stumbled and tripped over the tricky, Magnus Valerius. Magnus Valerius won THREE TWO and move to 5th. Kericia stay 4th on goal difference.

Ricky: Geisenfried pulled out the six gun and blasted the poor old Cyredel team. Cyredel lost 1-6 and allowed Geisenfried to move to 2nd.
Dazza: And The Macabees bounced back from their 5-1 trashing by us to beat Tryanny ONE NIL. Tryanny did not recover them the hammering at hands of Arridia.

Ricky: Table is interesting - Jeruselem dropped 2 points but stay top. Between 2nd and 7th, 3 POINTS. Yes, it's that close. We have the top 8 very close, with Jeruselem the only team with decent buffer. And we haven't lost a game either. So what does the Jeruselem captain think?
Dazza: Me? The bottom 3 are probably out but the goal difference will be the main factor which helps teams like Arridia and Geisenfried. Kericia are doing good and others need move on and win more games, while not losing any more. The Macabees need beef up the goal difference. Defense - just look at us.

Ricky: Nedalia should have beaten Risa-Aramour but had a 1 ALL draw to stay 5th while the top 3 are happy. Bedistan just keep on winning too.
Dazza: Poor Lions, they need some Dazza magic.

Ricky: Yes, they do. 3 losses so far - not good. Don't suppose Nedalia could borrow some players eh or even a coach?
Dazza: They are falling behind and probably they need the Bedistan team now.

Ricky: Oh and Socialist Romanistan lost again. We sponsor them, Socialist Romanistan but another loss.
Dazza: The Mateys beat them 4-2, in a spirited game. Yeah, Matey! (Australian accent)
Ricky: She likes saying those kind of words.

Dazza: It's YAP YAP or just more discussion about me if people ask, hehe.
Ricky: Some female viewer asks why Dazza never seems wear the same thing twice in row on TV. Always something different every episode.
Dazza: That's TV - you have to wear something different or else viewers get bored unless it's you're a male then you get away with it. When you're a glamour chick like me, costume changes are very necessary.

Ricky: Someone asks why soccer players have bad knees. As cyclist, that's easy for my sport. When I crash, it's easy to crash you land smack bang on knees as it's first contact point to the ground unless you go head first which is a different problem.
Dazza: Well, soccer players are always running but not in straight lines. We are turning around and twisting and bending the knees whenever we kick, run or tackling. It's easy to twist a knee. More stress than a runner as the changes are sudden and quick - so damage occurs. I'm also a former cheerleader so I know when the knee goes - it's bad. You see all the direction changes a player performs per game does have an impact as one bad twist and it's gone. One bad tackle, or getting a bad tackle or changing direction when moving too quickly can do it.

<Dazza shows legs>

Dazza: I've got these support padded support braces on you see. Keeps the knees warm and supported. Oh you like legs too? Mind the scars. Girls - pink kneepads, you can't miss them. These are really good ones too and they don't give a rash due to a chemical allergy either. Ah yes, made from natural materials not industrial slag.
Ricky: You wonder why people watch this show, to see Dazza's legs or the soccer.

Dazza: That's it, from THE FOOTBALL LIFE. Watch highlights packages, including Bettia trashing a team EIGHT NIL.
Ricky: And as Dazza says Sweet dreams, well since Dazza had to lift her skirt up to show her legs - yes some will.
Dazza: Sorry, no missing underwear trick like Rachel Kool did once - by accident.

Group 2:
Anathematic Republics [2] Bedistan [4]
Nedalia [1] Risa-Aramour [1]

Group 7:
Ariddia [3] Kericia [3]
Magnus Valerius [3] Chicanada [2]
Geisenfried [6] Cyredel [1]
Jeruselem [1] Montegrande [1]
The Macabees [1] Tryanny [0]

Group 8:
Socialist Romanistan [2] Lisburn Mateys [4]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Jeruselem 6 5 1 0 16-4 +12 16
[2] Geisenfried 6 4 0 2 18-9 +9 12
[3] Ariddia 6 3 2 1 19-10 +9 11
4- Kericia 6 3 1 2 16-9 +7 10
5- Magnus Valerius 6 3 1 2 10-11 -1 10
6- Chicanada 6 3 0 3 11-9 +2 9
7- The Macabees 6 3 0 3 7-14 -7 9
8- Montegrande 6 1 2 3 8-11 -3 5
9- Tryanny 6 1 1 4 4-13 -9 4
10- Cyredel 6 0 0 6 5-24 -19 0

“Still a bit shaky”

They may well be the world’s tenth best team, on paper, but the Rouge-et-Noirs suffered another hiccough today – on home ground, what is more. Facing Kericia at Wavecrest City Stadium, the Ariddians disappointed their fans by failing to pull into a much expected lead.

Although Ariddia were World Cup 30 quarter-finalists, many of the team’s players are new to starting eleven, and just getting used to playing with their more experienced team mates.

The match began well enough. Calling upon their usual tactics, the Ariddians attempted to steamroll their opponents from the opening minutes, forcing the Kericians into defensive playing. When the Rouge-et-Noirs failed to keep hold of the ball, however, the Kericians gained early opportunities, and Ariddian goalkeeper Cécile Granville was just able to block a shot from Wes Thomas in the sixth minute.

The opening goal went to the Rouge-et-Noirs nonetheless, with a skilful shot from Tadjou Senaya in the nineteenth minute. Nathalie Simon increased that lead in the thirty-fifth, giving supporters reason to feel confident, as the score remained 2-0 by half time.

During the break, supporters were treated to a pleasant surprise, as two dozen somewhat scantily clad young ladies stepped out into the stadium and began ‘encouraging’ the crowd to cheer. Although they were wearing the colours of Ariddia, they – perhaps not surprisingly – drew cheer from the Kerician fans as well.

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/4500/ariddiacheerleadersbqx4.jpg

The Rouge-et-Noirs returned to the field in good spirits, and promptly proved it when Trevor Komu scored in the forty-ninth minute. Surely now nothing could go wrong.

It did.

The half-time break had obviously refreshed the Kericians as well, and they went straight into a very effective attack mode, keeping the ball for over 57% of the second period. After they had scored twice, outwitting a sometimes disorganised Ariddian defence, the Rouge-et-Noirs began to look worried, and to make mistakes. In the seventieth minute, Hanifah Kyaw made it through the Kerician defences. . . and shot the ball wide, completely missing Alex Quintin’s goal cage. In the seventy-sixth minute, Nam Hyok-Jun failed to convert a penalty kick, with Quintin making a good save, and in the eighty-third Kyaw’s shot hit the side post. As the camera zoomed in on the Ariddian captain’s face, viewers were able to lip-read: ‘I can’t believe this!’

A 3-2 win, while cause for some worry, would have been enough for the Rouge-et-Noirs, but as long as they did not score again they remained vulnerable. And, almost inevitably, spectators’ fears were soon justified. In the eighty-seventh minute, Julien Prévert fumbled a pass to Selan Mataitai in the penalty area, and Kerician captain Grady Thompson needed only that brief mistake to finally score an equaliser. Kerician fans applauded wildly as the match ended on an unexpected draw.

“We’re still a bit shaky in some ways,” Ariddian coach Evgheny Melenciuc admitted later. “We still need to iron a few weaknesses out. But there’s still no question in my mind that we’re going to qualify, and by the final stages of the Cup we’ll be ready for anything.”

He also re-iterated that draws and losses in the first half of qualifying were especially worrisome, since Ariddia would be playing almost all its matches on foreign soil in the second, without as much fan support in the stadia.

“Hence the ladies who kindly accepted to boost the cheer level a bit,” he explained. “That was a one-off, though. It’s not an Ariddian custom, so don’t expect it to happen regularly.”

When asked whether it was true that Ariddian midfielder Tadjou Senaya (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tadjou_Sheyi_Senaya), who plays for Rejistanian club Kalisimu Kaletri and has a Rejistanian wife, was thinking of going to live permanently in Rejistania, Melenciuc said,

“You’ll have to ask him that yourself. Whatever happens, you won’t be seeing him with the Orange-Blues. If Tadjou does emigrate, it’ll only be because his wife is a Rejistanian, and I can assure you Tadjou has no intention of leaving the Rouge-et-Noirs any time soon.”

Senaya himself was evasive.
“I may. I don’t know. Rejistania is a lovely country. It’s where I work, I have friends and relatives there, and Sele misses her homeland. So, maybe. But I’ll always be an Ariddian, so no, I’m not leaving the Rouge-et-Noirs. No way. Don’t worry about that.”

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

When 4 is not Enough

Page 1:
Panel 1:

This panel was in the forecourt outside the CBBC Dome in Woolgolga, the Bazalopes had just finished a training session and where coming out of the stadium, all sweaty and you could see the team was physically drained after an intensive training session but the coach Eric Frankton still had more for them to do. "Okay, Guys, No rest for the wicked, ie you, We're now going to do some unusual training."

Panel 2:

A Collective "?!" rose from the players as the coach "Come on Lazy sods into the Bus. Chop Chop."

Panel 3:

The team started entering the Bazalope Bus, Eric stood outside the Bus with his clipboard noting who was entering and who was leaving. "Where's Peter?" Eric asked... "In here coach" Peter replied from somewhere in the bus, you could not see exactly who said it but obviously the coach thought it was Peter Hobble as he replied "Good, Good. Everyone's here then. Alright Bus Driver. On to our destination"

Page 2:
Panel 4:

The Bus was driving away and from the stadium and onto the next leg of practice... however from the stadium Peter Hobble ran trying to catch the Bus. He yelled "Hey, wait. You're missing me." but the bus just kept on driving

Panel 5:

"OH, great, They've left without me" said Peter talking to himself as a Taxi started to pull into the kerb. He thought, "maybe I could use the Taxi?"

Panel 6:

With the Taxi registration number unseen and the driver unseen, the panel was drawn from a perspective from behind the Taxi taking a side on view of Peter's interaction with the unseen Taxi Driver, the Bus could be seen blurry in the distance. "Could you just follow that Bus?" Peter asked and the Taxi Driver said "Sure mate."

Page 3:
Panels 7-9:

This situation was repeated in System Karela, Az-Cz and to the monks of the Archregimancy just after their match in Tocapa. Infotext at thr bottom of each panel.."1 by 1 a soccer player..." "...one from Bazalonia, Az-Cz, The Archregimancy and System Karela..." and in the third "...dissappeared in similiar circumstances. Where were the Superheroes?"

Page 4:
Panel 10:

SuperDude was dealing with a BombScare in TeleBaz Stadium. There was no Bomb but SuperDude was distracted with the bomb "Where is this stupid bomb" This was in the Bowls of TeleBaz stadium.

Panel 11:

SuperTux had a takil-scare in the Islands of Qutar, It was unsure if this was a happy co-incidence or if someone had slipped a va'takil into System Karela on the Islands of Qutar's team bus.

Panel 12:

SuperGnome had been given dodgy information about a company called "Explotation Inc." that was supposidly making it's workers be defacto slaves working many hours for minimal pay.

Panel 13:

SuperMonk was doing a liturgical reading in one of the many monastries inside the Archregimancy

Page 5:
Panel 14:

An infotext box at the bottom of this panel stated "In a secret location on unclaimed territory". All four of the currently known SuperHeroes where there. "We've got to do something." said SuperTux "Takilness is spreading everywhere." ...

Panel 15:

"Exactly and that is why I have found some help for us. Meet SuperClaymore and SuperMouse." said SuperDude, And suddenly there where 2 extra superheroes one obviously a mouse and the other looking like an angry beardy scotsman weilding a big sword.

Panel 16:

"Super Heroes from The Lowland Clans and Miceland respectively." said SuperDude.. various versions of Hi and Hello came from the other 3 SuperHeroes... "and I think I have an idea about the Beware the Ides of March" said SuperClaymore.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not Enough
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

After a hard day at work (at BtB's self-sealing stembolt factory), Yugemos Tsuj could finally sit down at his brand new BtB television to watch the football match in Brownwick. Just when he sat down on his BtB couch with a bottle of BtB beer, the television screen went black.

"No! No no no, not now!" he shouted and threw the BtB bottle opener at the TV. This made the football match return, although something looked distinctly odd about it. Instead of people, the football players were now looking like they were puppets. Tsuj looked at the bottle in his hand and saw that it was still full. He shrugged. "As long as they are playing football and I have beer, who cares what they look like."

Four bottles and six goals later (one by the puppet team from Brownwick, three by the puppet that looks a lot like Ulus Urakih, and one goal each by the Yawenaj and Rekir puppets), the puppets on the television suddenly turned into humans again and the match was over.

A commercial from BtB followed.

"Did you like what you just saw? Puppet versions of players from Backwardistan's national football team are now included with every JollyMeal at Bram the Bored restaurants. Collect all twenty-two of them."
"Bram the Bored restaurants, a jolly time all the time."

The next commercial was from BtB as well, and it was advertising a 'Burn your own West Ariddian flag party kit' which also included a flammable puppet that looked like a certain West Ariddian comedian.

The BtB commercial that followed next advertised the amazing AquaCubes, which was rather silly as they were only sold in arctic regions, which definitely didn't include Backwardistan.

The fourth commercial, also from BtB, advertised another one of their amazing products, and then it was time for reruns of the previous commercials. Tsuj turned off the television and got another beer from his BtB PowerFridge 3000.

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing coverage of the World Cup 31 group play. Tiday Tynelia returned home to bounce back from their crushing defeat at the hands of Schiavonia to pull off a tough 2-1 win over Nebuleux. This allowed Tynelia to keep pace with the teams ahead of them as Schiavonia continued its unbeaten run with a 3-0 win over the Algal States and the surprising gnomes won again 3-1 over Sel Appa. The Green Wombats leapfrogged over us with a crushing 6-0 win against Pablicosta and Rejistania lost some ground after managing only a 2-2 draw with underachieving Dance 2 revolution. I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee. So Dana is the team ready to go into Rejistania? You saw what happened the last time we went on the road against a higher ranked squad.”

“Well the team came back with a win Mike scoring more goals against Nebuleux than anyone else has to this point save the Wombats. But Rejistania, even though they’re not playing up to their usual level is still the top seed and everyone is wondering just when the juggernaut will awaken. In fact except for one match against Pablicosta, Rejistania has not scored more than two goals yet this tournament. Some remnant of their Karelan tradition. Tynelia’s offense as in the past has been up and down hitting just about every possible score between 0 and 4 goals but not breaking more than two in our last three matches ourselves. This will be a tough challenge but one Tynelia hopes to get something out of this considering the Wombats and Az-cz play each other so getting some points should let us gain against one of the two. Az-cz is facing its toughest stretch with three straight matches to finish the first half against the fifth, second and third seeds of the group.”


“I think you’re about to get into prediction mode Dana…”

“So when are you buying me my beer Mike?”

“Don’t worry I’ll buy it, I keep my side of the bets. Besides don’t you have all of Schiavonia looking to buy you drinks the way you’ve been channeling in on their scores so far?”

“I don’t know what you mean Mike…today’s winning lottery numbers are 3,12,18,24,33 and 40… I just look at the teams and make my picks.”

“What was that Dana?”

“What was what?”

“You said something about lottery numbers.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Anyway if these Schiavonians want to bet off my predictions fine let them, its their money. I’m not forcing them to do anything with it. Besides did I mention I’m not the one buying?”

“OK fine, you were right happy now? Too bad you can’t get Tynelia’s scores right. But let’s get to today’s match. Bill Jakes, making his first start as Coach Billington sat Jay Masterson to get him rested for Rejistania, put in a quick goal at the nine minute mark to put us ahead. The score stayed that way until Nebuleux drew even at the 28th minute. The second half was back and forth as neither team seemed eager to press the issue against a tough defense until finally Greg Samson found a seam and fired the game winner in at the 71st minute. The defense held on and that was the match. Now let’s hear what Coach Billington has to say after today’s effort. Hello Coach.”

<Billington appears on the split screen>

“Hello Mike and Dana. Hey Dana I hear there’s this nice bar that ahs some real expensive imported beer you might want to try some time soon.”

“Oh really Coach, I’ll have to check it out. Maybe tonight.”

“OK you two, ha ha, that’s enough of that. So Coach how about today’s match?”

“Well we did better than our last one that’s for sure. But we’re still hurting on goal differential here so we need a big match against Rejistania so no one gets too far ahead. I expect Schiavonia is out of reach but that still leaves four teams trying for two spots. We play two of them our next two matches so this would be a great time to help ourselves out here. Going on the road against a top team is always tough but hopefully the team learned its lesson against Schiavonia and bring their A game with them next.”

“Is this a sign of the next generation’s stepping up with Samson and Jakes providing the scoring today?”

“The youngsters did well today considering I sat some of the vets to get them ready for the next match. It was a bit of a risk since they hadn’t spent much time on the field together but they did enough to get us the win and that’s the important thing. I expect you’ll be hearing these two quite a bit more in the future.”

“So how do things look right now for the team’s chances?”

“Its still very much up in the air Mike. I think the five teams you see now will be the five at the end. D2R hasn’t played up to their usual level and are in danger of dropping out of the race if they don’t string a few wins together. Az-cz has to be the big surprise so far holding onto second place though they hit the tough stretch of their schedule now. It will be interesting to see how they handle it. The Wombats have also had a good run. These next two matches against the gnomes and us should help show if they have the staying power to stick around. Rejistania is the real worry, I think they’re a sleeping giant that I hope waits one more match before they wake up. Even with some uneven play they’re only a point from third and that just shows how good they really are. Schiavonia should just start packing now for the trip to the WC. Speaking of which I guess I should let Dana go and make her picks now. I need to call someone after. So long Mike and Dana.”

<Billington walks off screen as it returns to a surprised Mike McPhee>

“It looks like your legend is growing Dana. But before you get to drive the bookies crazy what’s your take on Coach Billington’s comments?”

“He did survive a questionable strategy today sitting so many veterans but still managed to get the win with the younger legs. We’ll have to see if the move pays off against Rejistania. But I do agree that the last two spots are still wide open for any of four teams to grab. I am pretty certain Rejistania will grab one which means Tynelia really needs to win the rematch with Az-cz as well as sweep the Wombats to get a handle on the final qualifying spot. But they need to play more consistently first and get some steady scoring again. We dropped from second to fourth in goals scored the last two matches and if that slide continues we’ll be in trouble.”

“Well then I’m sure most of Schiavonia is tuned in now and waiting impatiently so let’s go right to your picks Dana.”

“OK Mike. Our match with Rejistania I think will be an old school defensive struggle but I think given our inconsistency scoring I’ll say Rejistania comes out on top 1-0. The Wombats against Az-cz could be the first step in determining which of these two teams will be sticking around to the end. The gnomes have the superior defense but the Wombats are better offensively and still in the top half defensively. Playing at home I have to give the Wombats the edge in a close 2-1 match. Nebuleux goes up against the Algal States in what could very well be the dullest match of the group so far. Both teams are in the bottom three of scoring but the Algals are much worse defensively. The resistible force takes on the movable object here and I think Nebuleux will find a way to get one goal somehow to pull off a 1-0 win. Pablicosta takes on D2R in another match. Given that fewer than 10 teams have allowed more goals than Pablicosta I expect to see even the underachieving D2R to cruise to a comfortable 3-0 win here. And finally for my fans out in Schiavonia its Sel Appa against Schiavonia. This is another one of those hide the children matchups as the top offense faces the third worst defense. Schiavonia should have this one done by halftime and come away with a 6-0 win unless the reserves take it easy in the second half.”

“OK then, I’m sure the phone lines are being burned up as we speak and even more fortunately you picked against Tynelia this time. Given your track record for our matches that’s probably a good sign. And no I don’t want to bet another beer on it. In any case, TSW will have the match covered in its entirety as usual and Dana and I will both be here afterwards for the postgame show. So until then this is Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee for Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

King John IV sat with his advisors studying the report from the second spy sent to Spaam to learn about this nation that had since its initial declaration for Tessan's destruction been surprisingly silent on the matter. The King however suspected they were just biding their time and hoping to lower the king's guard. He looked again at the sheet on the table before him and read it again.

Sire,
These Spaamians are mighty sorcerors. Many of them carry small metallic devices with them that they speak into constantly. I believe they have tamed demons sealed away in these devices as they often appear to hold conversations with these tiny devices. I can only guess what sort of wisdom the demons are imparting to their masters. I shall try to acquire one of these devices to send back to the kingdom for study.

The people are rather oddly dressed. I disguised myself with peasant garb to not attract any notice yet it seems everyone notices me. I am told constantly that something called a ‘Renaissance Faire’ is not taking place until next month. I am uncertain what sort of Faire this may be but I shall try to infiltrate it when the time comes. Perhaps it is some sort of secret organization.

I would say that they are great builders of fortifications as they have dwelling and other buildings present that reach to the very skies. Some are so tall I wonder if the Lord himself accidently brushes against them from time to time with His arm. No doubt this means they are well prepared for siege warfare when their armies attack. I have seen some of their military bearing some sort of small crossbow-like device at the sides yet bearing no strings or winches that I could see from a distance. These warriors travel unarmored yet most seem unwilling to challenge them. No doubt this is some sort of military land where soldiers rule the streets through fear, though the people Do appear unconcerned by their presence, in fact some I have heard complain that “there is never a Cop around when you need one.” I will need to study this further and will report back once I have learned more.

“Is this spy of yours a fool?” the king declared “Sending some demon filled device here without any proper precautions? What if the beast got loose? It would ravage the countryside before we could hunt it down. Their obvious construction skills will be a problem. Have my engineers figure out how to counter this advantage immediately.”

“Yes sire,” an advisor replied “Shall I send another agent to more closely study these ‘cop’ the spy speaks of?”

“Yes do that.” The king agreed before adding “Did we triumph again today?”

“Yes sire we did. It seems we faced a domain ruled by one referred to as a ‘Lord of the Hosts’ or something like that. We triumphed quite handily and the people were pleased to hear that their hero Miller Wallace again triumphed twice against the Lord’s hosts.” His advisor answered.

“Odd that one so lowly could best a lord of a vast land. Let alone become a symbol to the people. Perhaps I should knight him to lessen his influence among them while at the same time showing the same people my generosity for one who served the kingdom so well.” The king pondered. “Nevermind that, leave me I have much to ponder.”

<the advisors exited bowing leaving their king to his musings.>

Feature article from the Ellery Camp (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ellery_Camp) Pravda

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/PravdaMasthead.gif

ECONOMICS AND SPORT DO MATCH SAYS ARIDDIAN FOOTBALLER

SCHOLARSHIP HOLDER ARRIVES IN ELLERY CAMP

(Picture of John Cohen beneath the sacred tree, PELLOCAR. He is shunning a football held by local football star, otelopea, and looking towards another local football star, addicksonia, who is dressed in academic garments.)

To Errinundrians John Cohen seems a typical Ariddian: thoughtful and serious. This is in sharp contrast to his hosts who, while not exactly outgoing, are erratic and impetuous - we do tend to burn first then worry about the consequences afterwards.

But there is something else about him that is special. At the age of twenty this talented footballer is determinedly amateur, refusing to sign with any major club until he has finished his university studies. Ideals. Ah yes. Errinundrians love people with ideals. John Cohen has become an immediate hit with the Campers.

The latest recipient of the ubhashinim scholarship will be studying and training at the National Football Academy here in Ellery Camp. Lecturer at the Underground University of Mount Ellery, usonom, will be supervising John in his major project, ‘The economy of running a World Cup football campaign’. usonom believes that the subject is apposite. “Different nations fund their campaigns in different ways. For example, a nation like Tessan funds its team from its own exchequer and the players are loyal subjects to their hereditary ruler. Others fund it similarly, however the players are salaried. Errinundera’s players receive salaries but the funds are generated entirely from ticket sales and television rights. Other teams fall for the lure of corrupting sponsorship. The economic models used have strengths and weaknesses. They also reflect the broader structure of society. There is plenty of smoked tofu for John to sink his teeth into.” The project has been approved by John’s alma mater, the University of Rêvane,

Head of the National Football Academy, echnoc, has added to John’s workload. “He is somewhat older than previous recipients. That is no problem in itself – our students have a wide range of ages. Because of his obvious leadership potential we have assigned him to the coaching staff where he will have particular responsibility for the fitness training of under 18 students. They are all keen to have him as part of the team. Previous scholarship holders have been very influential in building the character of this academy and I know that John will contribute in his own way.”

John is unconcerned by the workload and is looking forward to his stay in Ellery Camp. “This place is impressive. I’m told that the waratahs will be blooming in the next 2 or three weeks. By all accounts it is an amazing sight. Many former students of the academy have gone on to play for their country in World Cup football. I hope I can repay people’s faith in me by doing my best.”

The enthusiasm of the Errinundrians has also charmed the young hero. “I was guest of honour of the side in the latest World Cup qualifying match in Reanimated States*. rosaniel and zenoida took me under their wings, treating me as if I were a member of the team. I now know why everyone says rosaniel is angelic. There is something about quer that is utterly otherworldly. In Errinundera que is rated the sexiest player in the team by men, women and genderqueers. I’m not surprised. And quer football skills are not bad either. The goal que scored against Reanimated States was a good example. Que was tacked by two defenders, kept quer feet and the placed the ball just past the keepers fingertips.”

10 year old hilliarlan thinks John’s skills are pretty good too. “I’ve been having goal kicking practice with him. I didn’t kick any but I don’t mind coz I stuffed his bag with leeches.”

(Photograph of hilliarlan laughing as John Cohen looks in his bag.)

*Reanimated States http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/reanimatedstates.gif [0] Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/errinundera.gif [2]
otelopea 62
rosaniel 74

"Welcome once again to World Cup Sloths, I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone."

"We're in Algal States today as Schiavonia are looking to continue their winning streak against... well, this lot."

"Don't you have the team sheets, Mike?"

"I've got the Schiavonia one. We're unchanged from the Tynelia game following Fr. Symeon's disappearance."

"And Algal States?"

"Nobody knows who's playing for them."

"A bit like the Archregimancy team this time around?"

"Kind of. Except we really know who they are, don't we?"

"Ah yes."

"So anyway, the teams are lining up for the national anthems, first that of Algal States."

"So are they anything like The Mushroom Kingship, then?"

"I'm not sure. I've never been there."

"But there are fungi-bacteria things all over the place."

"Algae, Fil."

"Yae'll gae all the way to TMK just to find out? Blimey! That's commitment!"

"No, algae, it means a bunch of Algal stuff."

"Oh."

"Look, stand up and have some respect for the king, why don't you? They're playing Viva Schiavonia!"

"Sorry."

*We listen to Viva Schiavonia play until the end*

"Well, here we go then. Another ninety minutes, plus all the stoppages and half time and what have you, in the company of every Schiavone's favourite national team, Schiavonia!"

"Actually, they're not."

"No?"

"Apparently, there's a small minority in the north of Kingsbury who follow Socialist Romanistan."

"Who?"

"I dunno."

"We should send some down to cover it. Kenny Sanderson'll do. I'm sure he'll get kicked off that surfing tour soon!"

"Where the hell is Socialist Romanistan, anyway?"

"Well, we don't know. We'll get some researchers onto it, though."

"Cool. Well, Schiavonia almost went one up there, Bradley making a nuisance of himself in the penalty area."

"Well, it looks like we could be on for another convincing Schiavone victory if this is anything to go by."

- - - - -

Full-time

"Well, Schiavonia have eased to a three-nil win here today against some algae-ridden no-hopers, Seamus Bradley, Will Caine and Jermaine Edwards scoring for the Sloths. Before we bring you a round up of other results from todays games, here's a newsflash with Gemma Hay."

"The whereabouts of Schiavonia footballer and Orthodox monk Fr. Symeon the Bold are more unknown ever tonight after one of the monks at the Monastery of St Chariton the Confessor of Palestine, where Fr. Symeon was thought to be staying, announced that they had not seen him for days. Fr. Symeon went missing last week in the build up to Schiavonia's game against Tynelia and has not been seen since leaving the monastery for the training camp ten days ago. The Schiavonia Police tonight announced that they will now be widening the search for the lost monk. We'll bring you more on that story when we get it."

"Thanks Gemma. Before we go any further, we also have tonight's lottery numbers, although why any fool would want to play that goddamn waste of money I'll never know. Anyway, the numbers drawn were 3, 12, 18, 24, 33 and 40."

"YEEEES!!!"

"What is it Fil?"

"They're my numbers!"

"You're kidding me!"

"No, really! Look!"

"WOW! Does this mean you'll be leaving me behind in the commentary box?"

"Well, no, I love doing my job for the people of my country, but just think of all the stuff I can do with the money I can buy a yacht, maybe a small island..."

"Reports from the lottery organisers, Fil, are that there were over 15 million jackpot winners this week."

"WHAT? 15 million?!?!?!"

"Indeed so."

"But how?"

"Each winner wins a prize of just 62 cents."

"What!?!?! But it cost me a weild to put on!"

"...thus making it the smallest lottery jackpot in the history of forever,"

"You're not just saying this to wind me up because I've won, no?"

"No. Look, it's on the sheet I've been given to read out on official lottery paper and everything."

"Oh. Well I guess I'll be back with Mike for Schiavonia's next game, a six-nil win over Sel Appa."

"What? Six-nil? That games next week for chri..."

*lights fade on the studio, titles roll and end music plays*

Draw us up a tie


Taken from the MCP journal

.....Becquirelia took the ball i and in the first minute tried a darring goal from past half field unfourtianitly one of the TMK players accidently turned it into an own Goal. With that distraction behind TMK focused on playing Soccer. Our fist chance at tying came when Awah Beverly kick sailed wide right. The same problem happened to Mackey Debuille. But after three missed kicks from Debuille he finally got it right and cruised one passed the goalie. Unfourtianitly that was all she wrote and TMK could only manage a tie.





(OOC: as you can tell we have very low standards of Media quality her :P)

Cuation Upset The States

Play to the final whistle that is the lesson that is drilled into every player so it will take some explaining as how New Montreal States threw away the lead after a dominant performance in three minutes of injury time. Cuation had come to get a draw, seemed like they would lose, went home the surprise victors.

Cuation by no means played badly but they played without ambition for 80 minutes, playing the ball in their own half with a few aimless long balls. They did well when defending, snuffing out attacks and working as a unit. Even so, Jude made a fair few saves in the first half.

The pick of the bunch was when Petr Hunyadi's clever chipped pass from the edge of the d box allowed Andre Darcy to break the offside trip and go clear inside the box. Jude was quick off his line for once, the custodian diving full length to push the mid height shot around the post.

At half time, Cuation had still kept the score at 0-0 and could be proud of themselves. The first attack of the second half was a Cuation one, Downing’s early cross find Lu Fei but as he went to shoot, Mitch Broughton got in a saving tackle.

After that foray, Cuation sat back again but the game plan was ruined in the 60th minute. Orestes Jones worked himself some space for a long range drive but he didn't catch it properly so as it went straight to Jude, the keeper was expected to catch it. For some reason, young Tanner spilled it at the feet of Andre Darcy , the striker deserving his reward for following up the strike.

Moments later, Cuation where grateful not to be 2-0 down, Albany Plattsburgh's cross knocked down by the unfortunate Irwin for Billy Corcoran, eight yards from goal. With Tanner stranded, the striker somehow managed to blaze it over the bar.

Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile made drastic changes to try and bring Cuation back into it, Speedy, Mendiz and Keane coming on for Butcher, Cole and Irwin, changing the formation to 2-1-4-3.

Cuation exerted a lot of pressure but created little, Jude constantly having to act as a sweeper as the game entered injury time. Parker's long ball resulting in a careless header behind by André Mailleul when the defender had all the time in the world to clear. Everybody started coming forward but Downing hit the cross in too early so many where still coming towards the box when Vyacheslav Kamchatski punched it back out wide.

Downing collected and waited for everybody to get into the box before hitting it to the far post where Lu Fei out jumped his marker and headed back across the six yard box. In came the charging Jude Tanner to get a foot to divert it into the roof of the net. The away fans more then forgave Jude his earlier error for grabbing them the point.

Lewish intercepted a stray pass soon after the game was kicked off again and run with it to the corner flag, looking for option. With all three attackers having made the run, he got a cross in. Lu Fei again won it, nodding it down for the unmarked Pual Keane to slip beyond the keeper.

2-1 to Cuation? A result that will stand as one of Cuation's best ever results and puts Cuation in third place within the group.

ESECK Times

Sacrifices offered. Yes you heard it right live human sacrifices were offered to the gods of Football today after another surpising win from the Ligers. The Ligers kept unranked Assegai Developments to just one goal and they scored four in the process, 2 goals from wonder boy Ragde, 1 from Super D Daniel Cunco, and 1 from Sarus' substitute Pezle. The match completely dominated by the Ligers and there was never a time when the Asseagai seemed to pose any real challenge. Man, you've gotta love the Ligers.
In other news. More sacrifes are to be given today at midnight so that the gods will be kept a peaced and the Ligers can pull an upset of Quakmybush, a team that is predicted to go to the finals and is looking for a comeback at the top of the charts where they belong. Eseckians have been in constant fasting an praying and god Maradona has answered kindly. If you're out there and love Eseck please pray to your gods or ours for their help.

Ancient Byzantine 1 Northern Caesarea 3

1. Cuéllar ****

2. Díez ****
4. Capdevilla *
22. Berni * => 3. Bardají (m.87)

19. Gabi *** => 18. Rodiloa (m.83)
5. Rivera *
6. Begines **
8. Ríos ***

20. Toledo **
7. Maragall *
15. Javi *****

The crack
Javi
Made an impressive hat-trick and taught a good lesson to bizantine defenders

The dandy
Díez
Ever present in defense, covering the holes left by Capdevilla and Berni, ha launched some of the most efective attacks of the Tricolores.

The tough guy
Rivera
Used unnecesary violence against bizantine players. He should better polish his attacking and organizing skills than exposing himself to a red carton.

Not his day
Capdevilla
Bored by the bizantine inactivity in attack, he losed concentration and left a red carpet for rival strikers, which could have had awful consequences.

Byzantium-The mood was not for great football in the Bizantine Imperial Stadium. Both the tricolores and the local team engaged in a bizantine struggle, with a lot of game in the center of the field and almost nothing near the goals.
The match was drowsy until Javi scored a terrific goal from outside the area (m.21), after a magistral Gabi pass. Only five minutes later came the 0-2, with Javi scoring a penalty kick.
But the byzantine didn't surrender and reduced distances on minute 38.
On the second half, Northern Caesarea went for the decisive victory and they found it at m.55, with another Javi goal.

3-0 Rout of JSY!

3-0 up at half time, had Cuation taken the second half as seriously as the first, they could have more then doubled the lead. The defence where never tested and often the full backs when charging forward because JSY posed as much threat as a dead bone.

Gary Jens, Terry and Keane all had run outs for the entire second half but due to the royal zoo opening, we can't devote more time on anything but the goals despite the many chances that the opposing keeper saved. Cuation opened things up straight from kick off, Cuation playing the ball around before Fallen sprayed the ball to the right.

Lewish controlled it well and began running at the fall back, twisting him one way and then the other before cutting inside. He was quickly closed down by the number 5 but shimmied his way past, flicking the ball past his team mate Rual and then driving at the last defender. Faking a shot, the defender committed himself allowing Lewish to get clear and chip the advancing keeper. A wonder goal against a poor team.

On the 30th minute, Cuation again played the ball through the midfield then Fallen this time hit it wide for Downing. Given far too much space, the winger was able to look up and play a dangerous cross for Lu Fei to meet with a scorching header.

Just before half time, another passing move ended up again with Fallen but this time he kept the ball in the centre. His sharp eye caught the run of Rual Mendiz and his perfect pass left the hot shot with the simple task of rounding the keeper and sliding the ball into the empty net.

It was just a hint of exactly how badly Hill wanted Sonya Leir to be her halfback of the future that she actually met the car carring Leir outside the stadium and showed her to the team locker room inside herself. From there, there was a chorus of being-nice-to-the-new-kid-the-coach-likes. They had even gone through the trouble to find new equipment and everything for her. Even if the only shirt they had was red when everyone else was in white.

Of course, that was just to make it easier for scouts in luxury boxes to spot the young talent on the field and not confuse her with anyone else.

Like most plots, there was more than one level working at any one time. While honestly giving the young prospect a workout for the national team, the club scouts would be carefully analyzing her performance in order to provide her with exactly how many millions of selaris the various professional clubs in the country would spend to keep her playing the so-called "Beautiful game."

And, of course, practice went well, as one would expect it to. Telling everyone to "take it a bit easy on the kid" didn't exactly hurt the kid's ability to impress the scouts, either.

And of course, except for a few youthful attempts at ill-advised slide tackles, and one instance of trying to muscle someone else off the ball, failing, and tripping, it was mostly a universal consensus that there was a lot of natural talent to work with.

So when Hill finally decided it was time to show her to the scouts to ask some questions, she was a bit shocked when the first one happily suggested 8 million selaris over four years, and most of the others quickly picked up their phones and began to dial to get a counter-offer. Until, at least, they got the opinion of the person they were trying to sign.

"What, do you think I'm going to sign a contract now?" She said, blinking. "Are you people on crack?"

Hill blinked and turned.

"I mean, sure, that's fantastic, but do you expect me to just sign any piece of paper you wave at me after one practice? Without even an agent or a lawyer or anything here? You people must be on crack. I mean, no common sense at all. If you ARE interested, however, I'm sure Coach Hill will be happy to give you an address and phone number for my representation. Won't you, Coach?"

"Erm..."

"Fantastic. Goodbye, gentlemen." Sonya said, turning to leave.

Hill sighed and covered her face. It truly sucked when plans didn't work out correctly.

OOC: Jer, I hope I didn't get hold of the wrong end of the stick with your Soc. Rom. RP. If I did, I can soon change it around.

IC:

Dom: "Why are we even bothering with this?"

Chris: "Because it's just for the experience."

Dom: "Experience? We're getting humiliated game after game."

Chris: "You can't buy experience like this."

Dom: "I think you're too proud to admit that we're just a mess. Nothing about watching the best teams in the world running rings around us is a good experience."

Chris: "But you can tell your kids you played against Liverpool England, Bettia, Lisburn Mateys..."

Dom: "And got thrashed by every single one of them."

Chris: "We beat Delesa and Candy Rocks, didn't we?"

Dom: "Delesa are about as good as a school team. Candy Rocks... they looked even younger than us."

Chris: "Still, you gotta be positive, eh?"

Dom: "Why? What is there to be positive about?"

Enter Harry Kool

Harry: "Hey there lads, I was just wondering who was in charge of your team."

Dom: "Harry...! Kool...!"

Harry: "Now, son, there's no need to be so awestruck."

Chris: "Um... I am, Mr Kool, sir."

Harry: "Ah, you can call me Harry. So... how are you in charge? You're the keeper, right?"

Chris: "Yes Mr. Koo... er, Harry."

Harry: "And the coach too?"

Enter Rachel Kool

Chris: "No Mr. Harry. I do the admin stuff."

Rachel: "So you're in charge of the Socialist FA?"

Dom: "Rachel...! Kool...!"

Rachel: "Your buddy's funny!"

Chris: "He gets like that sometimes Mrs. Rachel."

Harry: "So who is your coach?"

Chris: "Mr. Wolstenhulme is."

Harry: "Do you think he'd mind if we maybe helped him out for a session or two?"

Dom: "Actually, we were thinking of giving up on the whole World Cu..."

Chris (while putting his hand over Dom's mouth): "Of course not, Mr. Harry, Mrs. Rachel. He'd probably learn more than he knows already."

Harry: "Well, when do you meet up?"

Dom: "We usually train after school on Wedne..."

Chris: "Oh, you know. Whenever suits you. You're the boss!"

Sooners Over Miceland 3-1

OSPN

Drew Harris scored his 2nd career hat trick and the Okielahoma Sooners improved to 3-1-2 in world cup 31 qualification, defeateing the Mice of Miceland and moving into a 3 way tie for 4th place, and thats just one spot off of qualification! The Sooners are 5th after tiebrakers, ahead of Miceland and behind Anastasiania, who the Sooners will face in a critical match tomorrow. Northern Caesarea has the 3rd place qualifying spot with 15 points, 5 ahead of Anastasania, Okielahoma and Miceland. Fievel ChurchMouse scored the lone goal for the Mice in the 64rd minute. Coach Jackson made one tactical change, sliding Bateman, the best passing forward, behind Harris and WIlson and it worked like a charm with Bateman racking up three assists.
GO SOONERS

Scorers
Harris 7
Bateman 2
Wilson 2
Lloyd 1

---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 6 6 0 0 18-7 +11 18
[2] The Islands of Qutar 6 5 0 1 27-8 +19 15
[3] Northern Caesarea 6 5 0 1 17-9 +8 15
4- Anastasiania 6 3 1 2 14-10 +4 10
5- The Mice of Miceland 6 3 1 2 13-9 +4 10
6- Okielahoma 6 3 1 2 12-9 +3 10
7- System Karela 6 1 0 5 3-8 -5 3
8- Harlesburg 6 1 0 5 7-18 -11 3
9- Vuam and Isma 6 0 2 4 6-18 -12 2
10- Ancient Byzantine 6 0 1 5 4-25 -21 1

Benny Jones was frustrated again in midfield. 2-1 down, Wentland's goal annoyingly coming from a Burnside long ball that Newton blasted home with some aplomb, but the heavy defensive emphasis as the Swifts remained behind to the Pschychoes with their pschychedelic black and red shirts and their madly attacking formation had Wentland penned back in defence.

So Jones decided it was time to move forward. Beckoning Weston and Lawrence in support he charged through the Squornshelous midfield..."get back you fool, you're leaving us exposed"...between Renberg and Bergen who could not cover all three...with Lennie Newton looking confused and marked by Jorgensen Jones decided to go on his own. Ignoring the ever more frantic screams from Norman Hacker he got passed Lundqvist but was tackled by Velasquez and with the ball falling fortuitously for Jorgensen suddenly a counter-attack was launched that had the Wentland midfield caught upfield and with effectively 7 against 4 Squornshelous could pick their scorer. It was the veteran Xenakis that applied the coup de grace, to the chagrin of team-mate Robinson who was the only Swift playing overseas. 3-1 and Hacker, flinging clipboard to the pitchside track at the Kenneth Kendall, was aghast.

"AUUGHH!! You MORON!!!! YOU PRAT!!!!"

Unfortunately for Hacker he had used two substitutes and Savage was injured in a futile attempt to prevent a goal so he could not substitute Jones, despite his fulminating. And Jones tried to make amends by spearheading a charge to pull one back but in an example of history repeating itself, this time through farce, he trod on the ball and three passes later it was 4-1 and Hacker was turning puce.

"You STUPID GET!!!! You...you...you...IMBECILE!!!! WHAT THE BLOODY HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??!?!"

Jones' embarrassment was as nothing as when the Swifts reverted to basics once more and from a Wright heft forward Jorgensen lost Newton again and as Nedvinskiy advanced Newton flicked a header over him which bounced lazily into the net. A few desultory cheers as the goal had come far too late to do anything other than make the scoreline look better. 2-4.

At the final whistle Hacker gave only the most perfunctory handshake to his opposite number before storming off. His face had gone through puce to black as the chasm of clams as he ripped up his notes. Rorysville next. Another attacking team. And at the Lychgate, for Maitland's first time hosting the World Cup...Hacker was coming home. But that fat prat in midfield was not going to be there.

Dear Mom

I played waaaaaaay better today, we crushed this team from Rordia 5-0. Jonnie scored 2 goals, one in the 56th minute and one in thr 58th it was awsome, want to know the best thing? I scored, not 1, not 2, but 3 goals, it was amazing, I guess I made up for my gaffe last game.


Love,
Matthew

Capitalizt SLANI RP

The Aeropag Tribune—Now with larger text for those slani raster images

Sports: SLANI paves road to Überdome with Divensi
PRONTERA, CH—In their last home game before the highly-anticipated rematch between SLANI and Krytenia at the Sokojito Überdome, the Capitalizts were able to extend their perfect record to 6–0–0 with a 5–0 win over Divensi, whose ten defenders were powerless to avoid conceding. The match started out badly for SLANI. Striker Alejandro Bolúfero, who had scored 10 goals in his last five games (including two hat-tricks), was injured in the 4th minute due to a challenge by Shields player Yousk Nashmok and had to exit the game. Nashmok was only given a yellow card by the referee, angering the crowd of 118 921 at CHEAT Stadium. 추손준 (Çu Son-jun) went on to replace Bolúfero, and picked up his first international goal when he headed the Tserkesidis free kick past the keeper for a 1–0 lead.
In the 23rd minute, Παναγιώτης Παπαχαραλαμπους (Panagiṓtēs Papakharalampous) took the ball down the left wing for the Capitalizts. When he tried to get the ball through the crowd of Divensi players around the goal, Timmy I tried to defend against the shot and was called for handballing. With the Shields defense safely out of the way, Tserkesidis made the score 2–0 on a penalty kick.
Divensi’s defense worked well later in the first half, to the point where the crowd started chanting “CONCEDE!” The chant distracted the Shields, allowing Krišanović to convert an excellent pass by Tokay into a 3–0 lead in injury time.
With the Divensi team worn out from the first half, the second half was a breeze for the Capitalizts, and two goals from Παπαχαραλαμπους in the 55th and 78th minutes sealed the result. Though Divensi tried to score a consolation goal in the last few minutes by substituting forward Johnson Prescott for The Great One, they were unsuccessful, and the score remained 5–0.
SLANI has two away matches before the match against Krytenia, at Sativaville and Elves Security Forces. As both teams are ranked in the top 64, it will be tough for SLANI to keep its perfect record going into the Überdome. When asked about the match, coach Randall Thacker said “We’ll worry about Krytenia when it’s time to play Krytenia. Right now, we need to worry about Sativaville, and we certainly don’t need to be distracted by all the hype.”
Alejandro Bolúfero is expected to be out for 3 months due to his injury, which would allow him to return for the away match against Cataduanes.

Final score:
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/COM/ Unified Capitalizt States (SLANI) 5
추손준 6, Tserkesidis pen 24, Krišanović 45+2, Παπαχαραλαμπους 55, 78
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/rl/CPV/ Divensi 0

Goals Have Arrived

Squornshelous finally figured out how to put the ball in the net often enough to make any defensive lapses look unimportant. Two early goals from Janne Aalto and Igor Khabarov had the Pschychoes leading at the half despite a Lennie Newton goal on a long ball that flew over the heads of the mostly young Squornshelan defence.

Wentland attempted to make a transition to a more attacking mindset, hoping to equalize, but a confused and disorganized rush was what it ammounted to, and while the Swifts were able to get some ways down the field, they left themselves wide open to a counterattack, with their whole midfield forward. When Velasquez, the most experienced player on defense for the Pschychoes eventually reclaimed the ball, it was very easy for him to clear it out of danger to Isha Bergen, who quickly played it forward to oleg Petrov. With no midfielders to slow down or contain the attack, Squornshelous closed rapidly on the goal, passing and making runs at will. Eventually, the ball found its way to Iannis Xenakis, who smashed the ball past his Vogsphere United teammate, Swifts goalkeeper, Crash Robinson.

Not long after, another botched attack by the Swifts, who just didn't seem to be the slightest bit comfortable with more than two or three players on the Squornshelan half of the field, led to a second counter by the Pschychoes. This time, instead of shooting when he received the ball, Xenakis faked a shot and passed across the top of the box to Khabarov, who easily put the ball in.

With the Swifts Manager on the verge of bursting a blood vessel, the Swifts abandoned their attempts to beat Squornshelous at their own game, and returned to their defensive, long-ball attack style of football. As Squornshelous backed off a bit, feeling comfortable with a three goal lead late, Wentland was able to work another lob forward to Newton to make the match look a little prettier on paper.

And so, for the second match in a row, Squornshelous was victorious over a team they have a fairly strong dislike for. While Wentland is probably the least hated of the teams we Pschychoes significantly hate, we still hate them enough for them to be considered hated. Likewise, the Swifts probably don't care a whole lot for us. In the opening match of World Cup 26 Qualifying, Squornshelous waltzed all over a young, inexperienced Wentland team to the tune of 5-0. Wentland learned everything they could from this drubbing, and when the two teams met again in Wentland on Matchday 8, it was the Swifts who walked away with a victory, 3-1. As if that weren't enough, our two teams both qualified, and were drawn into Group E, where Squornshelous revenged themselves: 2-1. However, neither side made it out of that group, and Squornshelous definitely left WC 26 with a bad taste in their mouths.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 4-2 Wentland

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Iannis Xenakis: 6
Igor Khabarov: 4
Oleg Petrov: 3
Janne Aalto: 2
Ivan Benelli: 1

Chris Bircking didnt get much credit, he was a reserve on the Quakmybush National Soccer Team. He was doing some door-to-door sales work for the team, he had picked it out of hat. He was on Polit Street and he came to house number 6969. He rang the doorball. A beautiful blonde girl in nothing but a towel answered the door. "Holy shit, I must be as drunk as a Bedistani" he said.

"Hey, I think I regocnize you, do you play soccer?" the blonde asked.

"Why, yes I do." Chris replied.

"Jenny come out here." she said.

"Holy shit" Chris said. "There is two of ya."

"Well four, but you know." Jenny said with a laugh.

"What's your name?" Chris asked the other one.

"My name is Pamela." she responded.

"So what are you selling?" Jenny asked.

"Stuff to support the Quakmybush Soccer Team" Chris said.

"Why don't you come in." Pamela said sadisticly.

"Don't have to tell me twice." he said.

A few hours passed, and the 3 did some things that no one really wants to know. Little did Chris know this would be the start of the decline in his career.

The next morning Chris awoke and said "Shit! Ladies I have to go, I have a game to go to!"

"Bye Bye" both of the ladies said. With that Chris left and went to the Revena National Airport to catch a plane that left in 90 minutes.

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Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid



If there were any doubts as to whether or not Jualiar Vumaou's carefully trained flock of Cocoabo's were skilled enough to qualify for the World Cup xXxI finals in Vilita & The Lowland Clans, they were quickly erased on Matchday 6. The Turori Eels travelled accrossed Atlantian Oceania to Fmjphoenix for what many experts predicted would be the flock's undoing as their first sure defeat of the Qualifying Campaign. But the Cocoabo's had other ideas. Despite going into the half a goal down at 0-1, Turori fought back with a vengence as play resumed and as the fourth official put up his board to indicate the three minutes of stoppage time to play in the match, the majority of the home support had already made their way towards the exits as Vumaou's Flock dominated the second 45 minute period netting four times to suck the wind out of the Vikings and leave little chance for a reply.

Despite the impressive second half performance, leaving favored Fmjphoenix stunned on the day and as a whole as they find themselves sitting midtable approaching the midway point of the campaign, there are still questions to be answered for Vumaou and the Turori national team. Despite setting a goal of perfect in the back, It seems that all the Eel's domination in the attacking third has done is left them more vulnerable in their own end. After opening the campaign with over 200 minutes without conceding a single goal, Turori has let in a goal in its past four matches, and will be looking to tighten up a little bit more defensively, as they are not prepared to be shown up by Krytenia or Tadjikistan, each of whom have allowed just 3 goals in the same amount of matches.

While he was hoping to be able to make an apperance following the match, Turori head coach Jualiar Vumaou has been advised by the Football Association of Turori to avoid any media appearances, on Turorian or foreign soil, until the identity of the persons or organization that the threat against the manager and his media warming policies originated from. The Football Association of Turori is also asking for anyone with any potential leads as to the origins of the threat to step forward and assist in the tracking of these spoilers of the beautiful game.

As for the defense, Turori welcomed the return of Cocoabo number three to their defensive setup, although the central defender was unabe to start the match, head coach Jualiar Vumaou named the starting central back on the bench and introduced him as a 73rd minute substitute. Cocoabo number three looked solid in its return from injury, and it is widely believed that it will return to its position in the starting lineup for the next match. The return of Cocoabo number three is likely to mean that Cocoabo number four will be returning to the left wingback role, with Cocoabo number seven moving to the bench. Typically Cocoabo number seven would replace cocoabo number four in the second half, but it is possible that cocoabo number four will be required to participate in the full ninety minutes if Cocoabo number three has to leave the field at any point, despite being expected to be fully fit. Turori's defensive shortage is expected to last until at least Matchday 12 of the competition, when they will once again have a full stock of central defenders.

Elsewhere in the group, Ropa-Topia has returned after a bug typically referred to has Justipulminary Orovascular Lechtin's Turbuculosis (J.O.L.T) had swept through the media rooms in their country. Thankfully, a vaccine was quickly implemented, and all citizens are expected to make a full recovery, bar a small side effect which may include complications daily at 11:00 PM EST, and sporatic unprevoked black outs.



http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 4
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/fmjphoenix.gif Fmjphoenix 1




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World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/casaritv.png

Casaran Government denounces reproduction of Casaran flag as icon
"Use of the flag as such cheapens our identity and national history"

In a now-rare comment out of the Casaran Government offices in Tyrellia today, the Casaran Minister of Culture, in a statement supported by Premier Meia Winter, denounced the reduction of the Casaran flag down to an icon for the convienience of the media's Matchday Reports.

"Disrespecting the Casaran flag and using it as a disgusting little icon shows disrespect to our nation and it's history as well. Where would the nation be without the red bits and blue bits and curvy bits of it's history? In the shitter, let me tell you what."

When asked what could be used in place of the nation's flag as a team icon, the Minister of Culture said "Meh, any rag will work. It all looks like crap that small anyway."

A Loss, But Still On Top
Starblaydia not quite invincible

All good runs come to an end, and for Jaime Oberlander his run lasted four whole matches. Good ones, too, scoring a total of fifteen goals and conceeding just two, Starblaydia stomped all over Assegai Developments, then had a good match with Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, scraped past Nikea and thrashed Spindomia. All well and good, so you might think, but there was a deadly Ox in the water.

An ox with two goals in the last five minutes, no less, first cancelling out and then eradicating the late goal Kaza Matranga had scored to put Starblaydia in the lead away from home. Don't get complacent: That's Oberlander's message to his team. They may be the best team in the world, as is so often mentioned, but they need to play like it all of the time. Like when they beat Spindomia three-nil, in the last home game until Quakmybush visit on Matchday Nine. Talenii Karo, Lawrence Asante and Nuno Volaré all made the scoresheet as once more Mendez kept a clean sheet, the defence's third in four matches. It's results like that which Starblaydia need to grind out time and again, whether by skill and brilliance or via determination and tenacity.

The latter of those pairs of qualities were definitely needed as Starblaydia travelled to Raging Penguins, under ultra-heavy security, and promptly managed to conceed two goals inside the first half an hour. Grim determination set in, with not a llittle bit of tenacity, and Starblaydia clawed themselvees back into the match one goal at a time.

Rajko Dakic brought Starblaydia back into the match, as per usual, with some fancy footwork. Instead of dribbling around a host of players, however, it was his quick feet that managed to bring the ball out from underneath him and slot it deftly into the goal. Lawremce Asante managed the equaliser with around twenty minutes to go, a turn-and-shot untypical of the big man. Finally Nuno Volaré, a substitute on for Prizzoni, scored what turned out to be the winning goal with a well-taken drive from just inside the area.

The win got Starblaydia back on track, not that they had particularly lost it, still being first in the group table after each and every Matchday played so far. Two 'easy' matches for Starblaydia come next, away to both Rordia and surprise packages Eseck, who sit third in the table so far, level on points with Qazox.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-Moon-News-Today

Sports Section

Touchdown!

Well we are talking about football, right? Ok so its the wrong football but the point still stands. Plus its always fun to Touchdown in big fancy letters.

Touchdown!

See what I mean? Michama 3 Yafor 2 2

Now onto the game. This was considered the most important game of qualification as the Warriors embarked to play Yafor 2 ranked number 36 and the team seemingly most likely to destroy our dreams of being in the World Cup (although AIF has done a good job in trying to beat us, the bastards). Anywhoo the win makes us look good as Jamie Smith said, "Our biggest rivals for the qualification spot look down and out. The others could definitely be in but we have no real way of knowing and there is a good chance that they will fade out while Yafor 2 tries to get up the standings. With this win we have precluded that." Also something Smith did not point out that the Warriors have beaten the Lisburn Mateys and will beat Alaisdair I Frosticus in the near future to help themselves along.

Now for a quick summary of the scoring as we are rather busy. Yafor 2 started brilliantly through two first half goals from the Mallar brothers. F. Mallar scored both. Then the Warriors came storming back in the second half. Kilinin made some great plays, and Marin Keffer scored twice with Kelvin Joseph scoring the all important 3rd goal in the 83rd minute to seal off the victory for the Warriors. Things are now looking up for the Warriors instead of the normal trend of down.

Final Score:
Milchama (Keffer 46, 80, Joseph 83)
Yafor 2 (F. Mallar 21, 30)

Raging Penguins Report:
The penguins took a hard hit to Starblaydia as they lost 3-2 despite getting the lead early through one of the their two players, I think. I could be completely off base.

Milchama Men of the Match:
We couldn't pick one today so we went with two people. Both Marin Keffer and Kelvin Joseph played very good second halfs and gave the Warriors the goals neccesary to come back in a dramatic fashion to win the game against the <insert nickname here>. This game also marked another solid performance for Elana Kilinin who had two assists. She might be getting older but she seems to only be getting better. Good for her.

Chris Bricking was exstatic, he could'nt wait to tell the team what had happened and how getting selected to do the shitty stuff, can be good. He rushed to the airport, going over 100 kilometers an hour to get their in time. He got their just as the plane was boarding.

"How was door-to-door Chris." Jon Fields said with a laugh.

"It was freaking sweet." Chris replied

"Dude, you are so full of shit." Cory Sorley added.

"Nah, it was awsome I got laid by two totally hot blonde chicks." Chris exclaimed.

"Now I definitly know that you are full of shit." Ryan Fret added.

"No lies, I swear." Chris said. "They were freaking awsome, kinky as hell too, it was the best thing to ever happen in my life."

"Dude, your lieing, I know it." Fields said.

"I aint lieing, I swear it is true. I have pictures." Chris said. He pulled out his camera phone and showed some very, well, vulgar pictures, and some more "classy" ones.

"Well fuck my ass and call me grandma, he isn't lieing." Fields said.

"I told ya I wasn't lieing." Chris said with a large smile in his face.

"Ummmmmmmm Chris I have to go to the bathroom, and I need entertainment, can I borrow those." Joey Sturm said sarcasticly.

"Dude, that's gross, and no, you can't." Chris replied.

"Darn...." Joey said.

"All right guys, we are almost in Eseck, sit down." Greg Hughes said. The plane landed and the team headed to the stadium.

Elven Times
In the Lion's Den

The Marauders hosted the group's highest rated team, Krytenia, the fifth ranked squad in the world last night, and outplayed them for most of the night, but were unable to come out with a victorious result or even a draw. The Marauders controlled possesion, 73% to 27%, and outshot Krytenia 11-3.

The home team came out with a passion and pressed their oppenents hard, but were unable to pierce the sitff Ace defence. It the Kyrtenians in fact who scored first, Marlon Friday was able to produce off a wonderfuly created counter in the seventeenth minute to quiet the chants of the crowd. The Marauders would not be down long though, as Kyla Night worked her way through Samuel Gryce and dangled it past Nieves to finally deposit it past the wide eyed Barradez to get the Marauders even at the twenty-first minute. However the powerful foes would strike once more, this time off the foot of Quinnell off another counter for the final score in the forty-third minute. The Marauders would come out on the attack and sustain it for the duration of the half, but the Krytenian keep would not give up another shot, despite the best strikes the squad had to offer.

The squad gets to host another of the strong sides in their upcoming match, hosting the unknown Cataduanes squad. The team desperately needs a win in this match in order to get some momentum going into the second round of matches, and to keep within threatening range of the table, not allowing the powers that be to amass an unsurmountable lead.

Scorers
Kyla Night - 3
Justinian Constant - 3
Zacharius - 2
Tobias Raynor - 1
Rick Cuellar - 1
Harden Swent - 1
Samuel Tatum - 1

Article by Ron Santapa

Demot Daily ~ Victory Hope

With another rigorous road trip, the Dynamo proved their valor with a confident victory in Ikeea, pushing them to a nice fourth in the group. However coach Dogood knows not to take their place in the group soo seriously this early in the goings, for the team has yet to take on Krytenia, Cataduanes, or Dorian and Sonya yet. Each of those teams will be a measuring stick for the squad to judge itself properly and evualute themselves appropiately afterward.

Ysman notched two goals, one in the 7th minute off a crystal clean pass from Masteron, and then in the 31st off a generous rebound from the Ikeeaian goalie, putting her with a total of seven thus far. Black got herself a goal in the 44th minute off a pivotol counter, and Masteron sealed the deal in the 68th minute, off a 25 yard free kick. The Ikeeaians managed to get two goals from their forward, once in the 16th minute, and again in the 80th minute.

Unfortunately for the Dynamo, they now have to travel to the toughest place in the group, Krytenia, and face the most talented team and current group leaders. It will be a test of will and strenth for the Dynamo as they fie to slay the supierior dragon with their lance, wishing for all the glory that would come from such a momumental achievement.

Scorers
Sarah Ysman - 7
Samantha Black - 4
David Masteron - 2
Justin Frontson - 1
Christi Sans - 1
Allison Lucas -1

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

IMPERIALS SLIP UP AGAINST MARCEAU STATE
Coach Declares 1-1 Draw 'Disappointing'

By Anna Comneno


It's a sign of how far the current Imperial football team has travelled in such a short period that last night's 1-1 away draw against the higher-ranked Marceau State could be considered disappointing. But after the dramatic draw against Liverpool England, the almost as dramatic win over Lisburn Mateys, and the easy victories over Socialist Romanistan and Candy Rocks, disappointing is what it was.

"I considered it disappointing" said coach Juan Tzimisces, perhaps hammering the point home a little too heavily in the wake of my first paragraph. "We have to look at why we weren't able to hold on to a lead against clearly inferior opposition. I would also like to take this opportunity to deny losing 10,000 nomismata after betting on us to win this match. The amount in question was in fact only 2,000 nomismata."

After dominating the first half an hour of the match, the Holy Empire finally took a deserved lead in the 34th minute following some delightful left wing approach work by Ducaso and Diacono. Ducaso's fine cross was then met by Maniaces, who headed the Imperial squad in front. Stratiotico then missed a 43rd minute sitter, somehow blazing over the bar from 5 metres after Attaliates had done well to evade his marker on the right.

The visitors again dominated the second half, with Burtzes and Ducaso both sending the ball narrowly wide in the opening 10 minutes of the second period. Curcuaso then had a penalty claim controversially turned down in the 58th minute after replays seemed to suggest the last defender had cut him down just inside the box. A free kick was awarded, but only a yellow card was shown where red was surely deserved.

The Holy Empire paid for their failure to extend their lead in the 72nd minute, when Palaeologo handled the ball inside the area during a rare home attack. This time the referee showed no hesitation in awarding a penalty to Marceau State and showing what seemed to be an overly harsh red to the Imperial defender. The penalty was converted, and coach Tzimisces decided that with the squad down to ten men, damage control was the order of the day. Stratiotico was pulled off and Scleruso was brought on as an extra defender. The match then petered out to a draw, both teams apparently happy with the stalemate.

Despite disappointment over the Marceau State draw, Holy Empire Football Association officials are said to be 'delighted' with the team's unexpectedly strong showing so far. HEFA and SBIS officials are also said to be pleased that the squad has so far avoided the controversies and distractions that have dogged the qualifying campaign of fellow Dreamed Realm nation the Archregimancy.

Matchday 7 RP Cutoff

MD7 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11852642&postcount=7)

QAZOXIAN TIMES

Qazox' recent hot streak in qualifing continued today with a 4-1 win over a clearly outmatched Nikea. Nikea did score first with a goal in the 22nd minute, but Hugh Dansie provided the spark as he scored twice with in 6 minutes to give Qazox a 2-1 lead at the half, with goals in the 38th and 44th minutes. Nelson Macgillivray added the last two goals in the 61st and 79th minutes to run the streak to 7 games.

At the almost halfway point of qualifing and Qazox is still undefeated, with only 2 more matches until the return legs. Only Starblaydia is ahead, but by only 1 point, which Head Coach Reggie Hassok hope to gain as he announced after today's match that he will start the Stablaydia re-match. "With the time off between the games and a bit more practice, I feel that I can perform just as well as I did last week." Hassok said. "This team has grown-up fast and I believe that we can shock the world again."

Up next for the Black Oxen are heading to Spindomia and what should be a good defensive match. Qazox wins 3-1 is my prediction.

DOWNLOADING DAY SEVEN SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY SEVEN SCORE- GREEN WOMBAT 2- AZ-CZ 2

GOALS: GW: ROGER WILCOX (11) 16TH MINUTE; HERMES CONRAD (1) 55TH MINUTE
AZ-CZ: STANLEYINHO: 34TH MINUTE, 88TH MINUTE

GAME SUMMARY: The FZW blow two 1 goal leads, but still hold on to a 2-2 draw with Az-Cz. Wilcox scores another goal his 11th, and Hermes Conrad adds his 1st carrer goal on a controversial call, as replays show Conrad was offsides just before his shot. Still in 4th place one point away from Qualifaction.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/bsd-online.png

A slight slip backward
Referees under fire from Bedistan FA

NEW LUSAMBO -- Senior officials at the Bedistan Football Association are reportedly fuming after the Lions' World Cup qualifying match against Backwardistan at Akoki Stadium. And the fans don't seem too happy either.

Goalkeeper Ekip Rehpotsirhc was certainly not having the best day of his career as not one, not two, not even three, but seven times he saw the ball fly past him into the Backwardistan goal. But even Ekip seemed dumbfounded when the referee called a goal offside for the fourth time. Not to mention the two times after that, as ultimately just one Bedistani goal, scored by Felicity Wilson in the 22nd minute, would actually count.

Bedistan Football Association president Nick Reagan seems to believe this number of offside goals to be highly unlikely. "I've reviewed the tapes myself," he told BSD, "and at least two of those calls appear to be dubious at best. I'm recommending that the match referee's conduct be investigated, even if just to ensure that nothing like this happens again."

Bedistan national team manager Vanessa Carpenter, however, believes the referee's motives to be much more benign and instead complimented the Backwardistan team on their play. "I really didn't see anything worth protesting, to be honest," she told us. "The opposing team's defense played a masterful offside trap worthy of a top-ten team, and our strikers weren't prepared for it. Yes, six offside goals is quite a lot, but all the calls looked justified to me. The loss is certainly a heartbreak to the team and the fans, but we can recover."

Yes, that's right, she said the "loss". For the Backwardistan attack was nothing to sneeze at either, and a pair of goals from Yawenaj Nyrhtak on either side of halftime was enough to give the visitors the lead permanently.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/bedistan.gif BEDISTAN 1
Wilson 22'
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/backwardistan.gif BACKWARDISTAN 2
Yawenaj 36', 55'

Both nations maintained their positions in Group 2, with Backwardistan holding their one-point lead over Nedalia in fourth place and Bedistan remaining atop the table on goal difference over an impressive team from Errinundera, who achieved a comfortable 3-1 win over the Anathematic Republics today. And speaking of Errinundera, they will be the next team to be entertained in Bedistan. The Lions' next match will be at the Field of Flowers in the city of Floral, and make no mistake, there is a definite upset opportunity for the visitors here. Expect Bedistan to play a bit more cautiously and perhaps a little more slowly on the attack to guard against the offside plague of the Backwardistan match.

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: Damn those SLANI people sure know how to harsh one's buzz as they made my man Trent Rauda look like he had two broken legs out there as Commerce Heights slapped us hard 4-0. Alejandro Bolúfero just ran wild on us, scoring 3 times before Trent had to leave the game with a bad groin pull. Bolúfero scored int he 40th, 57th and 74th minutes, and the last goal was from Dīmī́trīs Skalkṓtas.. I don't know what letter "ṓ" is but i beat it's short for Sativaville got creamed.

Anywho, up next for the Stoners is Dj8989.. which by some freaky weirdness is my Licence Plate #... just gives me the creepies. We should win this game, but with Trent Rauda probably out, and Trent Estorga playing his 1st minutes this Cup, anything could happen.

*Off field voice*

"You're listening to SportsChannel, the Oliverrian non-stop sports channel"

*A generic plays showing some random soccer players shooting in goal, some goalkeepers making saves, some random screen effects, then finally shows the name of the show: International soccer.*

*Camera then points to the outside of the stadium*

"Gene McAmmond: Hi everyone. I'm Gene McAmmond and here is Louis Bernier. On behalf of Sportschannel, I'd like to wish everyone a good Marshalliston Foundation Day on this sunny November 10th 2032. This is the match Oliverry - Turori, live from Dôme de Saint-François, on SportsChannel.

*Camera in studio points to the 2 commentators*

Louis Bernier: Hi Gene. What will you do for Marshalliston Day?

GM: I'm going to celebrate with my fellow SportsChannelians and hope to celebrate an Oliverrian win.

LB: Ok... We all know you've been brainwashed by Oliverrian authorities to say this... you were part of the Limbrogidlian Liberation Front, remember...

GM: We're on SportsChannel... let's talk about sports...

LB: I'm a reporter for the very popular show that nobody outside Oliverry cares about, Reporter nowhere, where I get...

GM: *clears throat* Ok. Now, here's for the starting line-up for this match against Turori... Oliverry will be using a 3-3-4 as usual with the same old roster they've been using for the last 2 cups... Now, Louis, as you're my analyst for the match, how is that roster?

LB: Some of these players got arrested for cocaine possession... Others got sued by the fisc. Some other received bribed from the government... See? This team is just as bad as any Capitalizt team...

GM:ooohhh... Kayyyy.... Now, what about the cocoabos from Turori... What do you think about them?

LB: Even animals are not protected from crime... Cocoabo #6 once surfed on Liverpool Englandian beaches and got slapped with a large trout for that...

GM: Oh! the team kicked off. *laughs*... sorry, I can't stop laughing... those cocoabos are too funny...

LB: According to Sud-Francie's law, you can't laugh at animals, whether they be cocoabos or any other random thing like this...

GM: Ah! Shut up with laws... this is soccer dude... I thought you liked that...

LB: Yeah... but soccer was once prohibited by Oliverrian laws...

GM: Interesting fact... Anyway, let's got back to the action... Youban takes the ball back..

**At the 8th minute**

GM: Cocoabo #3 kicks the ball, then sccoooorreeesssss!!!! Turori leads one-nil!

LB: Great play from Cocoabo #3, who stole the ball from Aiden Hunt. I'd like to tell Hunt that Hunting cocoabos is illegal and that he should get imprisonned...

GM: What are you talking about?

LB: I don't know... I guess I'm talking about some random things... Oh! 2 cocoabos are fighting! I thought cock fighting was illegal...

GM: Seems like chemistry is not a part of this team... Oh! Cocoabo #1 destroyed Cocoabo #4... And a veter... a veterian... ah... a doctor for animals is coming to get the dead Cocoabo.

LB: Killing is punishable by life imprisonment in Oliverry...

**45th minute**

*Gene McAmmond fell asleep during the 25th minute*

LB: ... and we all know the justice hall is not a place for dis...

GM: And the half finishes. After one half, Turori leads One, nil. Your thought about this Louis... *falls asleep again*

LB: This cup will be very interesting. Because this match is very spectacular. A Cocoabo even died from it. Well, a good half, but I suspect the referees were given bribes to not give some cards to Cocoabos... let me check this in the half time... Gene? Gene? Wake-up... Sleeping during work can make you imprisonned...

GM: Wha? No mom, I don't want to go to school *falls asleep again*

LB: Gene! It's me! Louis Bernier...

GM: I know dumbass... I was dreaming about a world without you when you woke me up... Anyway, it's One-nil. Live from Saint-François, Oliverry, this is International Soccer, on SportsChannel."

*some random ads about how the City of Communiste is nice, some ads about OTC, and another about some Geisenfriedian beer*

GM: "Back to the game. And the 2nd half just started! Thanks for watching this game on SportsChannel.

LB: Yeah, watching TV is a great thing...

**56th minute**

LB: That ball's circumference is very important for its resistance to air...

GM: Oh! and William Jones is all alone with the ball. He kicks it and... Gooooaaaallllll!!! Oliverry ties the game 1-1!! Jones! Jones! Jones!

LB: My ears are hurting. Very nice goal. As you can see, Jones is really on drugs, and they seem hard. Odd that police doesn't arrest him...

**75th minute**

LB: In 30 years of reporting, I've never seen a case like this... a guy sueing another because he pooed on another balcony...

GM: Anybody cares? Anyway, Oliverry takes a formation similar to those taken at ice hockey when on Power Play. Bennett, passes to Hill. Hill, to Miller, who shots! And it's saved by the keeper. But Cloutier takes it, shoots and sccooorrreeessssss!!!!! Oliverry leads two, to one against Turori! Cloutier!! Cloutier!! Oh my god!!!

LB: Nice goal from the rebound. We can notice that these players already played hockey and that it's the kind of formation that surprised some teams, starting by Spruitland, when they played us! Anyway, Cocoabo #80, the keeper, really looked like he was drunk on that move. According to the law, animals can't be...

GM: Will you shut up about laws? Arrrggghhhh!!!!

*Takes a rope*

LB: What are you doing now? What the hell? Why are you tying my feet and my hands together? Why are you now kicking me on the side?

GM: I said... shut up! I'm bored of you talking about Laws and such... This is annoying... I'm sure those watching us at home will be happy to see this...

LB: Ouch... Ouch... Ok then...

GM: Oh no... We've missed a goal during this time... Turori equalised 2-2...

**90 minute**

GM: Cocoabo #2 has the ball and... it's the end of the game... Turori and Oliverry drew 2-2, in front of 120,000 people. What are your thoughts Louis? Oh wait, I forgot you were not able to speak now *evil laugh*. Anyway, great game, but it's sad that Oliverry had to tie that game.

Final Score:

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori: 2
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/oliverry.gif Oliverry: 2


So, thank you everyone for watching this game on the air of SportsChannel. Next, the OHL game opposing the Marshalliston Capitals to Spartak Anadyr and, later tonight, another game, this time opposing Yeaddin HC to the Turoki Islanders. My name is Gene McAmmond and the guy tied just beside me is Louis Bernier, little asshole... thank you and see you later. Good bye and good Marshalliston Foundation Day!"

*Some random generic appears with the name of everyone contributing to the show. Screen then fades to the thing at the beginning of this RP*

THE MONASTIC TIMES

CLAIMS OF DELUDED HEBREWS SHOWN TO BE FALSE
"Lord of Hosts" Crushed

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe


The Holy Synod of the Archregimancy, the Monastic Football Association, Coach Fr. Polycarp the Venerable and the entire anonymous football squad were all feeling more than a little smug this morning after crushing the team from the self-proclaimed 'Lord of Hosts' 4-1.

"I cast Orthodox derision in their general direction" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity, when told that the 'Lord of Hosts' had initially appeared on the international football scene claiming to be the divinely-appointed representatives of the Hebrew god. "But I also want to make it clear that I unequivocally condemn all anti-Jewish pogroms mistakenly carried out by misguided Orthodox sinners against the Jews" he added quickly.

Claims that the home team were divinely inspired by anything were quickly exposed by their scoring no less than four own goals in the first half. Only an 80th minute sympathy own goal scored in a spirit of Christian charity by the Archregimancy's anonymous number 2 spared the "Lord of Hosts" total and utter humiliation. Five own goals in a single match is believed to be a World Cup 31 qualification record.

The second consecutive 4-1 away win for the Archregimancy, combined with a first loss for Tessan, finds our God-fearing lads in third place. However, the Archregimancy has still to play both Spaam and Squornshelous, and Coach Fr. Polycarp has issued a two word command to his charges: "Pray. Hard".

In other news, the Holy Synod today denied censoring popular Monastic television show "World Cup Tonight". A source close to the Holy Synod noted that the decision to interrupt last night's broadcast with a repeat of Famous 12th-Century Prayer Vigils had nothing to do with accusations that co-broadcaster Fr. John the Golden-Throated seemed to be breaching the squad's anonymity, and was solely down to a 'minor technical error' at broadcast HQ.

With Liverpool England continuing to dominate the goalscoring charts, there have been very few complaints back at home over the performance of the team so far in qualifying. Given that this is for the most part an untested team, many have indeed been singing the praises of manager Thomas Lunson. However, a scandal involving FALE Chairman Marc Newells has broken out, leading to Newells offering his resignation, which was later rejected.

The press at home have been relatively quiet, although two or three major media outlets have continued to speculate over the scandal involving the chairman. Here are some short snippets from some of the articles and editorials.

Orean Inquirer-Observer:
... Why Marc Newells has chosen to take this step is still in the air. If he has really done something wrong, he would not have offered his resignation; he would have resigned outright and not wait for the FALE Board [of Directors] to make the call. On the other hand, why have the team been so silent over this matter? Thomas Lunson has refused to comment every time he's been asked about this, even though Newells indicated in his resignation offer that the matter had to do with an internal conflict with Lunson...

Schimpol Dispatch:
... Newells accepted the decision. "This just goes to show that I have the strong support of the FALE Board of Directors, and not Lunson." Newells also reportedly made a threat to sack Lunson at the conference, although it is widely expected that should that happen, Newells would himself be forced out of his job by the fans...

Sports Radio Folenisa News Wiki:
... It is understoof [sic] that Newells offered his resignation after team manager Thomas Lunson issued what was in Newells' words a "thinly-veiled threat to disclose my personal activities by barring me from team talks." However, questions have been raised about why Newells would need to be present at team-talks anyway...

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/geisenfried.png Geisenfried 1-3 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

Back up the hill

The Rouge-et-Noirs were reportedly looking forward to their trip to Geisenfried, for what was only their second away match in this competition so far. Ariddian fan presence in the stadium was fairly limited, due to the costs involved in travelling from Uhuhland to Atlantian Oceania and the absence of a notable Ariddian expatriate community in Geisenfried.

The AFA nonetheless described the Royal Federation as “excellent hosts”, and Ariddian team captain Hanifah Kyaw said the atmosphere in the stadium was “exciting”.

The Geisenfried team played a balanced, adaptable style, but the Rouge-et-Noirs had studied it well and soon adapted in turn. Dave Rider scored the opening goal for Ariddia in the twenty-seventh minute, followed by Uha Teh in the fortieth, before Geisenfriend concluded a fast-paced end to the first half of the match by retaliating through Conrad Kopfgeld in the forty-sixth.

The second half was somewhat slower, but the Rouge-et-Noirs did enough, with Nam Hyok-Jun consolidating their lead in the sixty-sixth minute to make it a 3-1 victory for the “black and reds”.

The main event for Uhuhland, however, was Backwardistan’s astonishing 2-1 win over Bedistan. The BoF Champions were in superb form, dominating an often struggling Bedistani side to earn a well-deserved victory. Backwardistan remains in fourth place in Group 2, just outside a qualifying spot for now.

“They’re an astonishing team,” Ariddian coach Evgheny Melenciuc said. “It would be interesting to play against them one day. I think they’ll go on to be a major power in football.”

Of course, West Ariddian comedian Ümit Makhmudov did not miss the opportunity. His ‘Backwardistani’ persona (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tarob_Veyidgas ) soon appeared on West Ariddian television for an “announcement from Great and Glorious Leader (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Max_Power)”.

“Backwardistan very pleased by victory of conquering and unstoppable team,” he declared. “But Glorious Leader very disturbed by foul and untrue lies which are say we win by two goals against one. Triumphant Backwardistan team never allow opponents to score goal against us! Goal was own goal by enthusiastic player, who now sadly disappeared with unfortunate accident, and should obviously have counted for Backwardistan.”

He added, “Because of vile lies from West Ariddia, which are lies which not tell the truth, burning of West Ariddian flags is continue in Backwardistan. This is very good, because before many people they had no heating in homes. Now, by wisdom of Glorious Leader, people all have flags to burn, and number of people who die from cold has dropped gloriously by 140%.”

John Cohen “very happy” in Errinundera

Twenty year-old amateur football player John Cohen, ubhashinim scholarship holder, is settling in well in Errinundera, PINA (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia) reports. The young economics student is continuing his studies at the Underground University of Mount Ellery while receiving high quality football training at the world-famous Ellery Camp (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ellery_Camp).

Cohen has been made to feel very welcome, and, although he is still adapting to Errinundrians’ often disconcerting way of life (for an Ariddian), he has said he feels honoured and “very happy”.

“Everyone here is so kind and helpful!” he explained. “I just hope I can repay them by helping them too.”

Former scholarship holder Xavier Xu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Xavier_Xu), now third goalkeeper on the national team, recalled many pleasant memories from his year spent in Errinundera. “I made a lot of friends there,” he explained. “I had a great time, and I learnt a lot from the Errinundrians. Their behaviour is. . . almost impossible to understand at times, but that’s all part of their charm.”

Sooners crushed by Qutar 4-1

OSPN

At Qutar Ollie Molander endured a constant barrage of shots for 27 minutes before surrendering his first goal, then the goals came in waves. We pick up the action in the 27th minute:

"Qutar with the ball at midfield now. Its Wildgoose the captain with it now, he's dangerous we'd better mark him. Lloyd there on him now. Passes to Walsh. Now to Aramous, shoots goal! The ice is broken in the 27th minute, Stefanos Armaos scores for Qutar. 1-0 Qutar midway through the first."

"Aramous steals the ball from Cobb and he's got Molander to beat he shoots goal! Aramous gets his second goal as he just made Adam Cobb look silly! Qutar lead 2-0"

"Now in the 44th its Walsh with it. He takes a shot from way out...oh my goodness! Walsh scores from waaaaaay out holy cow.Walsh with a strike, Qutar lead 3-0"

"Heres a free kick for Armaos in the 61st. Heres the kick and Molander goes for it and here comes Walsh, Walsh crashes into Molander and the ball is in the goal! No call teh goal stands but Walsh ran Molander over!"

"Time running down now in stoppage Harris crosses from the right corner, Wilson's in front of the goal but it's Bateman and he heads it in!" 4-1 will be the final"

Tomorrow itll be Okielahoma vs Anastasiana, a critical match for 4th and 5th, 6th place in group 5.

Good Luck Sooners


Goal Scorers

Harris 7
Bateman 3
Wilson 2
Lloyd 1


Stats

Time of Possession: Qutar 71% Okielahoma 29%
Passing Percent: Qutar 88% Okielahoma 77%
Shots: Qutar 16 Okielahoma 5
Shooting Percentage: Qutar 25% Okielahoma 40%
Corners: Qutar 5 Okielahoma 2
Fouls: Okielahoma 7 Qutar 4
Cards: Qutar 0 Okielahoma 0
Indirect Free Kicks: Qutar 6 Okielahoma 2
Free Kicks: Qutar 1 Okielahoma 2

Az-cz Scroll
Green Wombat
Il-Lur

Az-cz fights to a 2-2 draw, Bub-Rub out injured

The Pink & Green played better than they had recently despite not earning three points to prove it. For the first time the team looked like their undefeated streak might come to an end but they fought on and came away with a point.

The first major blow was a double strike against Az-cz. Bub-Rub was making a nice run when Nestle Crunch came over and made a Crunch-ing tackle on Bub-Rub. Although it was definitely a clean tackle, Bub-Rub was injured on the play and at the same time the Wombats turned the ball up field and got the ball to Roger Wilcox who put the Wombats ahead.

The team turned to Stanleyinho who came on and immediately helped the attack. He almost equalized immediately spinning a beautiful Pizelkaxrovsky pass just wide of the post. Then in the 27th minute he put a Kn-Dg feed off the crossbar. He finally latched onto the equalizer in the 34th minute off of a beautiful set-up by Pizelkaxrovsky.

Both teams went back and forth the rest of the first half. Although there were good chances for both sides great goalie work kept the game at 1-1.

The second half started much as the first did, with one bad moment giving the Wombats the lead. Third Second made a nice set of moves to put the Az-cz defense in a difficult position. With both Ml-Dni and Haji-Me having snuck forward Ns-Ta and Nerazzurri tried to spring the offside trap. Although the replay showed that they were clearly successful but the line judge missed the call and the goal was allowed.

The Wombats looked like they were going to be able to kill off the match as there defense looked in control from that second goal. Eventually Khim brough on Bn-Dg for Hubertino, and that added offensive pressure allowed Ml-Dni to slip forward unnoticed so that his beautiful looping cross connected with the head of Stanleyinho and the Gnomes even the game out in the 88th minute.

The Gnomes nearly won the game in the 90th minute as Kn-Dg found Stanleyinho on a well taken corner but Doberman Pincher was lucky that the ball went right at him and he was able to slow it long enough for Randy Johnson to corrale the ball and preserve the tie.

With the draw the Pink & Green remain in second place on the table, but now advance to the top team of the group Schiavonia. With the Gnomes undefeated and Schiavonia on a perfect record, one of the teams will see a streak fall by the wayside. As for Green Wombat they remain in fourth place, with a tough match against D2R coming up.

Stats
Score Az-cz 2 Green Wombats 2
Scorers Stanleyinho 34, 88
Possession Az-cz 46% Green Wombats 54%
Shots Az-cz 14 Green Wombat 14
Corners Az-cz 2 Green Wombat 1

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing coverage of the World Cup 31 group play. Today was another tough outing for the home team as Tynelia fell on the road to top seed Rejistania by a 3-0 score. Combined with the 2-2 draw between Az-cz and Green Wombat Tynelia now drops to fifth overall, their lowest point in the Cup to date. Hot on their heels is dance 2 Revolution who moved to within two points with a 5-1 pounding of Pablicosta who it turns out is Tynelia’s next opponent not Green Wombat as previously reported. Schiavonia continued to cruise along with a 3-0 win over Sel Appa and finally Nebuleux continued their string of 1-0 matches this time prevailing over the Algal States. I’m Mike McPhee with Dana Lee. So Dana how bad are things looking now?”

“It isn’t exactly the best situation but the last two matches of the first half do offer some hope for a stop to the freefall. First we go up against Pablicosta, a match we should win based on their play so far before going on to face the Wombats where a win would jump us ahead of them in the standings. The Wombats face D2R in a tough match before us and Az-cz takes on first Schiavonia and then D2R so on paper we have the easiest run of the three teams within one win of the final qualifying spot. Something to remember if things are close when the second half comes around. But unless the team plays better against the top two seeds it might not matter in the end.”

“This didn’t really turn out the way Coach Adam Billington had hoped as Rejistania put on an unkarelan like display with three first half goals before taking it easy in the second half. Another tough beating at the hands of one of the elite teams doesn’t make things seem too positive here.”

“And Mike, to this point Tynelia has still yet to win a road match in group play. An issue they must fix in the second half as five of the eight matches will be on the road. Including a four match road trip after the Green Wombats match. Actually that’s six road games in seven matches when you think about it. Clearly this is the make or break stretch for the team.”

“A good point Anna, and now let’s hear what Coach Billington has to say after today’s defeat as he joins us via satellite. Hello Coach, another tough one today.”

<Billington appears on split screen>

“Hello Mike and Dana, this was another tough one out there today. We really have trouble facing the top teams on the road.”

“So will there be any changes in the lineup to try and shake things up?”

“Just in net Mike, Jim’s had a couple rough outings of late so I’ll be putting Tom in next match to let Jim get his head together. Let him clear his mind and refocus for the second half. I’ll be resting the old folk, Jay, Tal, Anya but I’ll give Donna a start to help balance things out, she’s well rested at this point. Need to have the vets ready for the second half of this thing.”

“But considering you’ve now lost by a combined 8-0 to the top two seeds what sort of chances do you really think the team will have in the rematches?”

“I think we’ll play better next time around Dana. We have them both at home and if you remember from the last Cup Bettia and Starblaydia beat us pretty soundly on the road but when they came to Tynelia we got a draw off Bettia and only lost by one goal to Starblaydia. So yes I expect to see improvement next time. Especially if these losses let either of those countries a bit overconfident coming in for the rematch.”

“With D2R suddenly breathing down your necks here do you think the team can pull back into a qualifying spot?”

“Yes I do Mike. I think Dana went over the schedule before. Az-cz, D2R and the Wombats will all be beating on each other the next two matches and we’ll face the bottom seed and hopefully get some distance if we can managed to beat the Wombats and then D2R on the road after that. Actually now that I think about these next four matches will be a real key since we play the gnomes after that. If we can win all four of these next matches that gives us three points advantage on all three of our main competitors for the last spot. If we only go 2-2 on the other hand I think we’ll be hurting and need to upset one of the big two to have any shot.”

“OK Coach, thanks for stopping by and good luck next match.”

“Anytime Mike.”

<Billington vanishes from the screen>

“There you have it Dana, according to Coach Billington these next four matches will decide if Tynelia moves on to the World Cup for the first time ever.”

“I disagree Mike, this is a very important stretch without a doubt but I think the last two matchdays will be the vital ones. In a close fight the edge will certainly go to the team with the easiest schedule and looking at seedings that has to be us. If we reach this point with a lead or a tie we should end up getting more points in the final stretch than any of our expected competitors at that point.”

“So you’re actually disagreeing with Coach Billington then, I think that’s a first. Spoeaking of firsts, did you hear about the 15 million winners of the Schiavonian lottery, it was as if all the machines were acccidently set to produce the same number for everyone so that they actually lost money by winning.”

“Yes Mike very…. Old Gluebait at 45-1 wins the Schiavonia Derby…odd indeed. I wonder if they’ll ever get to the bottom of it.”

“What was that? Old Shoebait?”

“Whose old shoes?”

“No what you said just now, like last show.”

“Like what last show? I didn’t say anything!”

“OK fine Dana, keep your secrets. Besides your Schiavonia friends probably aren’t too thrilled with you after you doubled the actual number of goals they scored last time.”

“Well if they didn’t empty the bench at the half I bet they would have gotten to six. I DID point that out you know.”

“OK fine Dana. Make your picks then since its no big deal and all.”

“I will Mike. First off Tynelia should bounce back with a strong 3-0 win over Pablicosta as the bottom seed has shown little fight after its opening day draw with Sel Appa. I like D2R over the Wombats as the revolutionaries are showing signs of coming around their last couple of matches. Go with D2R 3-2. Rejistania will be licking their chops as they find the Algal States on their schedule who have scored one goal the entire first half so far. The reserves should see a lot of playing time with a 4-0 Rejistanian win. Finally the main event pits the first and second place teams in the group against each other as Schiavonia goes up against the surprising gnomes of Az-cz. I do think the gnomes’ undefeated streak comes to an end here as no one has been able to shut down the Schiavonian assault to date despite Az-cz’s second best defense in the group, behind? Schiavonia of course. I see this one going 3-1 Schiavonia which is still a better fight than most people have put up so far.”

“OK then Dana, hopefully your sudden ability to predict the right results for Tynelia’s matches extends to when we actually win them instead of just the losses.And lots of angry Schiavonians I’m sure are ready to turn on you if your picks for them are off like they were last time. But you’ll be able to follow the scores on TSW’s stat tracker which streams across your TV screens all match long as Tynelia tries to get back on the winning track against Pablicosta. Dana and I will be here after the match for the post game show as always so until then this is Mike McPhee for Dana Lee and Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

“Majesty! Majesty! A great horror has taken place!” the breathless herald yelled running into the throne room where the king held court.

“Silence fool!” King John IV boomed shooing everyone of unimportance away. Has the foul Spaamians landed with their metal dragons and steel chariots to wreak havoc on my kingdom? How could those fools of spies half not bothered mentioning this to me.

Looking around to see that the room was cleared he turned his attention back to the trembling herald. “Speak now, what horror do you speak of? Has a dragon attacked the countryside?”

“No sire, your champions, they were defeated! At the hands of Squornshelous, 3-1 and now we are no long among the teams that will qualify!” the herald reported nervously

“What how dare these Squishenators best my champions. What of that Miller fellow the riff raff cheer so? Is it not his duty to score twice each match? And how could a lone defeat send us tumbling from the ranks of the mighty?” the king demanded.

“He was held scoreless sire, it seems the foe kept someone following his every move so he could not move about freely as he had in the past. Sir James mustered our only triumphant attack on the foe. And we fell from our perch sire because the other three nations have only lost once between them as well. Yet they are reportedly surprised by our..er your champions ability to keep up with them. And the monks face the other two nations we battle with while we face the village of Rory and some humourous land. No doubt your champions will prevail and return us to our proper place.”

“We shall see herald. It is not your place to ponder such things. We shall see if this Miller restores his honour this next match or if like most commoners he fails to sustain the level of ability found in even the most humble of knights. I shall be most happy to mention this to my somewhat foolhardy son next we meet if this proves to be the case. Using commoners HA! Only a true knightly champion can fare so well in such a long event.” The king declared with his typical dismissal of the common people of his kingdom.

With a wave of his hand he dismissed the herald and walked over to one of the large maps hanging from the wall and amused himself as he looked around for the location of this “village of Rory” his team would next face.

Jo-El: Joining me again to analyze today's match is Lur-Mn. What did you think of the action we saw today?

Lur-Mn: In a lot of ways it was a positive performance for the team. They earned a point against a tough opponent and they overcame a lot of adversity.

Jo-El: You said after last game that you thought a draw here would hurt the team in the race for qualification. Now you say the draw was a good performance. How does that work?

Lur-Mn: Well it does hurt them. Now they really need to get suprising results from the next two matches to be in a qualifying spot at halfway. So in a sense they needed the win. But they played well and fought through Bub-Rub's injury and strong Green Wombat play on the road to earn a point.

Jo-El: Let's talk about Bub-Rub's injury. How does that affect the team?

Lur-Mn: It hurts it takes a way an option. Bub-Rub is the best clinical finisher on the team so not having him around hurts. However Stanleyinho looked back in form tonight, and a healthy Stanleyinho can come in and be that starting forward. Remember Stanleyinho was the original starter. So if he's back to his standards we should be ok, with just a little less option from the bench.

Jo-El: Based on your talk with coach Khim after the match, who will be replacing him on the team and how long do they expect Bub-Rub to be out.

Lur-Mn: The word from the team is that Bub-Rub will miss two to four qualifiers and he'll be replaced by EE-Or on the bench for those matches.

Jo-El: The postives of today's game?

Lur-Mn: Two things that had been missing, Stanleyinho's finishing and a fighting team spirit. The team easily could've folded but instead earned a point, and a correct referee's decision or a header just a bit more towards the center of the goal and they'd have left with all three.

Jo-El: And what are the areas for concern?

Lur-Mn: Well apart from Bub-Rub's injury, I still think it's the offense. We still haven't had a huge offensive outburst. With Schiavonia coming up, we may well need lots of goals to take any points off of them.

Jo-El: Well you correctly called a draw, let's get your thoughts on the next round of matches.

Lur-Mn: Well I'd really like to say that we'll take a point off of Schiavonia, but they're looking great right now. They are tied for the best goal differential, but LE has a draw, which means that Schiavonia is currently the number one team in the entire qualifiers. I expect them to add to that and beat us 4-1. In the other big match of the day look for D2R to have enough in them to get past Green Wombat 2-1. Expect Tynelia to bounce back from their loss to Rejistania by pasting Pablicosta 5-0. Rejistania ought not to have any struggles with Algal States winning 4-0 and I'm going to call a slight upset and say that Sel Appa comes away with a draw against Nebuleux 1-1.

Jo-El: And the look ahead at the halfway point.

Lur-Mn: Unchanged. I still think it will be Schiavonia, Rejistania, and then Tynelia in the qualification spots and Green Wombat just ahead of us on goal differential.

Jo-El: Ok. We now go to voice of the fan. Today's question comes from Jay-Shw. He writes "Jo-El, how did you get the job as the main person for NS-SC?". Well Jay-Shw, it's not that interesting really. A bunch of people from television stations around Az-cz sent in footage of themselves doing news and interviews and what have you. Then they selected a number of us to come into the studio to do a fake broadcast and interview with Tex-Mex. I was the best and got chosen. That's it.

Well that's it for the night. Good luck to the team and goodnight everyone. Remember to tune into the special performance of "Read Vil Read".

Morning in the Jeruselem hotel ... Dazza is just waking up, not wearing much except for a shirt and underwear. There is a knock on the door.

Dazza: Hey, I'm coming
<drags herself to the door>
Finn: Good morning, Dazza.

Dazza: Come on honey. What you holding there?
<Dazza closes door and Finn comes in>
Finn: Well, I kinda went to town and looked around. I found something for you.

Dazza: You don't have to buy me stuff, but that's sweet.
<Unwraps present>
Finn: Well, I know you aren't playing any games for a while due to your bad knees so I thought this would cheer you up and keep you occupied for a while. Anyway, we won't need you for now since we haven't been loosing games - so you just rest up and relax.

Dazza: Woah, the new Sony video camera. 20 megapixels! Sweet, I can see some good home videos coming up.
Finn: I thought you'd like it. You like taking videos of yourself and everyone else.

Dazza: Man, I love it. Now what I do you for you!
Finn: Can that wait until I finish playing today's game? I know what you're thinking.

Dazza: Must be expensive, this one.
Finn: That's OK, I'd do anything for you.

Dazza: I'm going use this on today's game. Man, this is going be fun. I'm going harass Ricky first.
Finn: He's like you, follows the cameras around or they follow you.

Dazza: Hey, no more dropping the ball like the game against Montegrande.
Finn: Oh that, there was some crap in my eye.

Coach: Hello you two, I hope you're not up to no good again Dazza.
Dazza: Me? That's my job.

Finn: No coach, I'm not planning anything.
Coach: Nice camera, looks expensive!

Dazza: It was. We're going to get some decent home videos for once.
Coach: Dressed like that? They are going to sell very well.

Finn: Well, I hope Dazza's dressed when she takes those videos.
Dazza: Maybe!

Coach: Well Finn, time to go. See you later when game is finished. Remember, take care of those knees - I want you fit for the finals.
Dazza: Will do, and don't worry about me. Worry about Finn when I get my paws all over him.

Finn: I'd better make sure that camera is off too.
Coach: And it'd better not turn up on yourtube ...

Feature article from the McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge) New Statesman

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/NewStatesmanMasthead.gif

ANGELIC BY NATURE, GENDERQUEER BY INCLINATION, SUPERSTAR TO ERRINUNDRIANS

As the amazing winning sequence of the potoroos extends to 6 games the exciting and skilful play of angelic, genderqueer striker rosaniel has caught the nation’s imagination. Women, men and genderqueers alike have voted the local Milosian player the sexiest member of the national team. Photographs cannot catch the elusive nature of her appeal. There is something in the otherworldly manner of quer gestures and movements that defies explanation. This, along with quer steady, penetrating gaze and the sensuality of quer lips, create an aura of supernatural intensity. ubhashinim had a similar effect but in her case it was entirely kindly and wholesome whereas with rosianiel there is a sense of the numinous, a vague undercurrent of dread that provides just the right amount of frisson that makes quer so singular.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Angel9994.jpg

Having said all that, rosaniel is, after all, an exceptionally gifted footballer. In this World Cup que has shown leadership and, above all, consistency that quer legendary predecessors never achieved. Players such as antarcticad, gabriellen, longipesp and oreadest had equally sublime skills but never managed to display them game after game. Including the friendly in Ariddia que has scored 8 goals in 8 international games. The potoroo attack of rosaniel and the more experienced silvu has been the focus of the coach withare’s strategies in the cup campaign and, so far, it has worked brilliantly. We caught up with rosaniel on quer return from the qualifying match against Anathematic Republics.

MBNS: The winning sequence of the potoroos has been breathtaking but completely unexpected. What is happening?

rosaniel: The record for an Errinundrian team is 7 involving the last 6 matches of World Cup 7, including the cup itself, and the first match of World Cup 8. If we can win another match we are up there with the very best the nation has ever produced. Mind you, we are up against Bedistan who are the current cup holders. Oddly enough they have not been able to beat Errinundera in their 3 previous matches so they will be out to prove a point to us and to themselves. We will certainly be treating the game as if it were a world cup final.

MBNS: Where did the descriptor ‘angelic’ come from?

rosaniel: It seems I’m a dead ringer for the archangel Gabriel in the Pier Paolo Pasolini film “The Gospel According to Matthew”. I’ve tracked down a DVD of the film and, I have to admit, we could be identical twins. Apparently people also find me a bit spooky. I don’t know why.

MBNS: Your form has been consistently good.

rosaniel: I’ve managed to get to a plane where it’s becoming effortless. (Self-deprecating laugh.) That sounds so pretentious. What I mean is that my feet and the rest of my body seems to have somehow remembered all the movements that need to made in any given situation and automatically respond without my brain having to process data. When your form is down that memory disappears and you have to work very hard on your game. Right now it is very intuitive. It is a wondrous place to be. No wonder football is called the beautiful game.

MBNS: The potoroos have been right up there with you.

rosaniel: There are some very, very good players in the team. My co-striker silvu is also at the peak of his form. I have learned so much from him. The midfield and defence are also skilful and very dependable. It enables our forwards to take risks. If we fluff our chances we know they will back us up and give us further opportunities.

MBNS: The coach, withare, is a very private man. What is he like?

rosaniel: I know next to nothing about him. He is extremely taciturn yet everyone in the team is utterly terrified of him. Tactically he likes to take risks. To do so he shows great faith in his players. This combination of terror and faith has engendered absolute loyalty in the team. We would crawl over broken glass for him.

MBNS: How has the overseas travel been?

rosaniel: Varied. Visiting Ariddia was a hoot. Every Errinundrian I have ever spoken with says their heart stopped momentarily when they first saw the sea. It was the same for me. The sea is the most awesome thing on the planet. I mean, I’d never leave the forest but I’ll always dream of the sea.

MBNS: And your recent trip to Anathematic Republics?

rosaniel: Absolutely appalling. They are into industrialised cannibalism. How can this happen? What is wrong with this world? People suspected of crimes are routinely tortured and, of course, found guilty. After that most of them are executed. And then made into murderburgers and eaten. They even offered them to us. We didn’t know that they contained human flesh. If we weren’t vegetarians we may have eaten them ourselves. It doesn’t bear thinking about. We felt a great deal of satisfaction beating them 1-3.

MBNS: The sequence of potoroo goals in that match was bizarre.

rosaniel: Yeah. All scored in the space of two minutes. Some of the team were laughing with disbelief as the third goal went in. The wonders keep on coming.

MBNS: You mentioned Bedistan earlier. Any specific gameplan.

rosaniel: Of course, but I’m not going to reveal them here. The potoroos are great fans of the Bedistani team. withare uses videos of their games as part of our development. It is such an honour to play them. We are looking forward to the game very much.

MBNS: Your local team, the Milosis White Guard, is struggling in the EFA premier league. What does the future hold?

rosaniel: I agree we aren’t up there with derby rivals, McKillops Bridge, or Monkeytop United or First Creek Falls but we have one of the two or three best batches of young players coming through. You just watch Milosis, Ootopia Forest and Bonang in the seasons to come. There is a new order on the way.

MBNS: Finally, you are genderqueer. Do you see yourself as a trailblazer?

rosaniel:: In Errinundera? Get out.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/anathematicrepublics.gif
Anathematic Republics 1
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/errinundera.gif
Errinundera 3
rosaniel 18
silvu 19, 20

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/worldcup/spaamsportsweekly.png

Tocapa Tougher Than Thought

It was a case of not being able to close the deal when Spaam traveled to
Tocapa last night. The heavily favoured Waffles were expected to have an
easy win, but it was anything but as the Tocapans were intent on spoiling
the Spaamanians good qualifying run. Spaam started the game strongly,
enduring that they controlled the ball as much as possible, frustrating the
Tocapan defense. The first goal came in the 23rd minute, when top scorer
Tehta Trevelyan took advantage of a Tocapan fumble to touch the ball into
goal. However, Tocapa upped the ante, equalising seven minutes later
thanks to a Bush header off a corner.

From then on, Tocapa kept up with the Spaamanian attack, the ball and
momentum going from one team to another. The first half ended at one all,
but Spaam again hit the lead at the start of the second, with Senara
Maddaford claiming her first goal of the qualifying season. However, the lead
was short lived, as Tocapa again equalised in the 53rd minute thanks to Bush.
Around fifteen minutes later, Trevelyan sent the Waffles to the lead for the
third time with his usual brilliance, but not long after Tocapa equalised for the
third time, giving Bush a hattrick for the match.

It looked like Tocapa could realistically steal the match away from the
Waffles, with the match tied at three goals apiece with ten minutes
remaining. However Spaam's superior fitness was beginning to show, with the
Tocapans obviously struggling more in the incredibly physical game. Midfielder
Gorran Chegwidden put Spaam ahead for the fourth time with a penalty kick
after a careless tackle in the 83rd minute. This time, however, there was to
be no equaliser, as Eseld Retallack finally put the game away with the
Waffles' fifth goal in the 90th minute, ending an exciting game for all football
fans.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/tocapa.png Tocapa 3:5 Spaam http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/spaam.png
(1 G. Bush 30', 53', 76')
(4 T. Trevelyan 23', 70'; 21 S. Maddaford 46'; 2 G. Chegwidden 83' pen; 20 E. Retallack 90')


Group 9 Roundup

Wentland failed to make any ground on qualification, when they were held to
a draw by Rorysville. Meanwhile, the wacky monks from the Archregimancy
made headlines again, when they broke a first grade international football
record in the Lord of Hosts. The Jews scored four own goals, to give the
Orthodoxy a big win, Christian generosity only coming as an afterthought
when the monks scored an own goal of their own at the end of the match.
The total of five own goals is widely believed to be a first grade international
record. Funnia Lan had the last laugh, when they downed Iansisle in a close
match, and Tessan had their unbeaten record broken, when they went down
to Squornshelous by one goal to three.

Group 9:
Wentland [1] Rorysville [1]
Lord of Hosts [1] The Archregimancy [4]
Funnia Lan [3] Iansisle [2]
Tocapa [3] Spaam [5]
Tessan [1] Squornshelous [3]

The top three seeds are finally filling the top three places, with Spaam
continuing their fantastic unbeaten run. They are still in first place, on
nineteen points, with Squornshelous just a single point behind. A win behind
is the Archregimancy, who stole third place from Tessan by a point.
Rorysville is in fifth with ten points, Wentland is lagging by two in sixth, and
Funnia Lan is a further point behind in seventh. Iansisle and Tocapa are
keeping their wooden spoon chances open, having only scored four points so
far, while the Lord of Hosts is in last place, still yet to score a single point.

----Group 9---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Spaam 7 6 1 0 25-11 +14 19
[2] Squornshelous 7 6 0 1 19-11 +8 18
[3] The Archregimancy 7 4 3 0 22-10 +12 15
4- Tessan 7 4 2 1 23-13 +10 14
5- Rorysville 7 3 1 3 17-12 +5 10
6- Wentland 7 2 2 3 12-17 -5 8
7- Funnia Lan 7 2 1 4 14-25 -11 7
8- Iansisle 7 1 1 5 13-18 -5 4
9- Tocapa 7 1 1 5 14-23 -9 4
10- Lord of Hosts 7 0 0 7 7-26 -19 0


Coming Up

The Waffles will be facing the only other unbeaten team in their next match,
the Archregimancy. With their opponents notorious for their wacky antics
and suspicious anonymosity, coach Pengelley will be certain to be training the
players hard against the monks' religious mumbo-jumbo.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/spaam.png Spaam vs The Archregimancy http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_archregimancy.png

In other matches, the technological backwards Tessan will be looking to get
back into qualifying position when they host Rorysville, and the Lord of Hosts
will be facing the power of gods when they host Squornshelous. Meanwhile,
it will be no laughing matter when Wentland travel to Funnia Lan, the
perennial bridesmaids desperately needing a win, and its a bottom of the
barrel battle when Tocapa host Iansisle.


Advertisements

Wanted: Anti-Christian charms and doo-dads. Contact Ms. Pengelley
on +42 431 094 000.

For Sale: One soul. Slightly used, may need cleaning. Invincible
football skills o.n.o. Email e.kent@smail.com.

Information Needed: Looking for names of religious football players.
Will pay good money. Contact Mr. Ellery on +42 666 135 791.

1 T. Trevelyan 8
20 E. Retallack 5
2 G. Chegwidden 4
14 M. Menadue 3
22 J. Hoover 2
19 H. Nepean 1
9 M. Prisk 1
21 S. Maddaford 1

Jo-El: Welcome to a very special performance in honor of the upcoming world cup to be held in Vilita as well as TLC. All proceeds from this show will be donated to charities to promote literacy in Vilita and Az-cz. We hope you enjoy the show.

(Cuts to an empty stage)

Narrator: In collaboration with the Vilitan Reading Council, the Az-cz reading council presents:

Read Vil Read!

(A banner comes down from the ceiling that has the title of the show)

(To represent Vilitans in the show a medallion is used that looks like:

Vilitan

(A man walks on stage wearing a Vilitan Kit and the Vilitan medallion holding a book)

Narrator: Read Vil Read!

(Vil Sits down and begins reading. As the narrator speaks to the side of the stage the things he says are acted out)

Narrator: (Pizelkaxrovsky kicks a freekick into a goal)
Read a mag or read a book.
Read about how goals were took.
Read Vil Read.


(A man dressed in historic Milchamian Warrior clothing comes on stage)
Read a text or read a play.
Read about Milcham-I-Ay.
Read Vil Read.
(the I and Ay are pronounced as the letters "I" and "A")

(A person dressed up like Az-cz sneaks around a spaceship)
Read about a gnome from space.
Read about some Kleptochase.
Read Vil Read
(Zg-Mk unlocks a door)

(A man is holding up a picture of Tivali Ring Stadium)
Read about Vilitan Home Turfs
Read about Z-Boy, who surfs
Read Vil Read.
(Z- Boy does a double dolphin like move)

(A woman walks on stage wearing this Turori Kit)

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/kits/wc/turori17b.gif

Woman: Hello.

Vil: Hello.

Woman: Do you like my new kit?

Vil: No, I do not like your new kit.

Woman: Goodbye.

Vil: Goodbye.

(Woman and Vil exit the stage in opposite directions)

Narrator: (A bunch of Vils sitting at computers, typing away)
Vils at Work. Work Vils Work.
(They leave, replaced by a bunch of different Vils throwing a frisbee around)
Vils at Play. Play Vils Play.
(The playing Vils leave the stage)

Narrator: (A bunch of small children run on stage)
Many Small Vils.

One Big Vil
(A big Vil runs on stage like a monster and all the children run off.)

Big Vil: Where did all the Small Vils go? I just wanna be friends.
(Big Vil runs off stage)

Narrator: (A boat rolls out on stage with three Vils in it, including the Vil in the Vilitan Kit. The Vils start to act like they're fishing)
3 Vils in a boat. Watch Them Fish. Fish Vils Fish. Nighttime comes.
(Stage lights go down and the Vils act like they're sleeping.)
3 Vils sleeping in a boat. Sleep Vils Sleep.
(One Vil falls out behind the boat where he can't be seen)
Morning comes. 3 Vils wake up in a boat. W......

Fishing Vil 1: Wait a minute. Where'd the other guy go?

Fishing Vil 2: We better look for him.

(the boat moves back and forth until it reveals Vil with a book)

Fishing Vil 1: There he is.

Fishing Vil 2: What's he doing?

Vil: I'm reading.

Narrator + Fishing Vil 1 + Fishing Vil 2: Read Vil Read.
(The boat and Fishing Vils 1 + 2 leave)

(Kn-Dg acting like the winning goal of the Baptism of Fire)
Read an ad or read a story.
Read about some soccer glory.
Read Vil Read.

(Mar-Mar comes on stage carrying a bag of his tools)
Read a letter or read a card.
Read about the strong Mar-Mar.
Read Vil Read.

(A woman is standing on stage holding a bouquet of flowers)
Read about a flower garden
Read about fast Peter Harden
Read Vil Read.
(Peter Harden runs and then makes a quick turn)

(A ghost comes out and "ooos at the audience under the voice of the narrator)
Read a scary story, grim.
Read about a coach named Khim.
Read Vil Read.
(A man that looks like coach Khim comes out on stage)

(Woman comes on stage wearing this Casari kit)

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/Kits/kit2.png

Woman: Hello.

Vil: Hello.

Woman: Do you like my new kit?

Vil: No, I do not like your new kit.

Woman: Goodbye.

Vil: Goodbye.

(Woman & Vil leave the stage in opposite directions)

(A small hill appears in the middle of the stage with one Vil standing on top.)

Narrator: 1 Vil goes up a hill. Up Vil Up.
(A Vil walks to the top of the hill where the other Vil is.)
1 Vil goes down a hill. Down Vil Down.
(The Vil who was at the top of the hill originally now goes down the hill)

Narrator: Vils on a ferris wheel.
(A small ferris wheel like contraption comes out on stage. As each Vil gets to the top of the ferris wheel they are brought into focus and talked about, then the ferris wheel rotates to the next one)

1 Laughing Vil. (One Vil laughs)
1 Crying Vil. (One Vil cries)
1 Screaming Vil. (One Vil screams)
1 Sighing Vil. (One Vil sighs)

(The ferris wheel than disappears off stage)
(In it's place a house shows up on the stage. One Vil is on the roof and the Vil in the Vilitan Kit is at the bottom of the house. Near the house there is a big object shaped like the sun.)

Narrator: 2 Vils in a house. 1 Vil on the roof. 1 Vil under the house.

Roof Vil: It sure is hot up here on the roof in the sun.

Vil: It isn't hot down here under the house in the shade.

Roof Vil: What are you doing down there under the house in the shade?

Vil: I'm reading down here under the house in the shade.

Roof Vil + Narrator: Read Vil Read.
(the house and roof Vil are taking away leaving just Vil)

Narrator: (A man comes out in a Rejistania kit)
Read the web or read the news.
Read about Rejis Orange-Blues.
Read Vil Read.

(A man riding a bazalope rides around on stage)
Read the net or read a note.
Read about a Bazalope.
Read Vil Read.

(Rk-Mrs pretends like he's driving a car and crashes)
Read about some driving, crude.
Read about that super dude.
Read Vil Read.
(A man in a superdude costume poses in the superdude pose)

(A person holds up a big sign saying "Az-cz: That's freaking ridiculous")
Read about Spaam's hosting bids.
Read about footballing little kids.
Read Vil Read.
(The Az-cz AOU21 team shows up on stage in their jammies)

(A woman walks on stage wearing this Liverpool England kit.)

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/kits/wc/lekit.jpg

Woman: Hello

Vil: Hello

Woman: Do you like my new kit?

Vil: No, I do not like your new kit.

Woman: Goodbye.

Vil: Goodbye.

(They exit the stage in opposite directions)

(A maze shows up on stage)

Narrator: 1 Vil goes into a maze. Go Vil Go.
(See the Vil walk out of the maze)

2 Vils come out of a maze.
(The Vil who was already in the maze is clearly Ootaniz Riiatzor)

Vil 1: What where you doing in there?

Ootaniz Riiatzor: I broke my lockpick.

(Both exit the stage as well as the maze. Two signs saying here and there show up on stage. Then a Vil painted-red comes on stage next to the here sign)

Narrator: See the Red Vil go from here to there. Go Vil Go.
(The red Vil walks from the here sign to the there sign)

(A blue painted Vil comes on stage next to the there sign)
See the Blue Vil come from there to here. Come Vil Come.
(The blue Vil walks from the there sign to the here sign)

See both Vils go good bye.

Red Vil: Goodbye.

Blue Vil: Goodbye.

(Both exit the stage)

(Three Vilitans bike onto stage, and then pretend to continue biking)

Narrator: 3 Vils riding bikes. 1 goes left and 1 goes right. And one turns right around.

Left Vil: The party's this way.

Right Vil: The party's this way.

(In a suprised tone) Both: Really?

(They switch directions and pass by each other)

Turned around Vil: You're both wrong. The party's straight ahead, but I forgot something I need for the party so I need to go back.

(The guy pretends to bike and slowly the other two cyclists drift off stage. He keep biking till he sees a small kid wearing a Half-Vil medallion)

Turned around guy: What are you doing their kid?

Half-Vil: I'm reading.

Narrator and turned around guy: Read Vil Read.

Half-Vil: Wait a minute. I'm not a Vil. Actually my father is a gnome, so I'm only a half-Vil.

Turned around guy: Oh ok.

(They both exit the stage and the guy in the Vilitan kit comes back on with his book, near a big tree.)

Narrator: (A person dressed up like a jungle cat growls)
Read a novel, Read a chat.
Read about a Jungle Cat.
Read Vil Read.

(A guy who looks like SuperClaymore comes on stage)
Read an essay, read some plans.
Read about The Lowland Clans.
Read Vil Read.

(Some guys in Oliverry like kits come on stage and act like they're playing hockey)
Read about some hockey pucks.
Read about defensive Tux.
(A guy dressed like SuperTux comes on stage in a defensive posture)

(A number of people hold up lottery tickets with the numbers 3, 12, 18, 24, 33 and 40)
Read about some games of chance
Read about some kleptodance
Read Vil Read
(A naked woman dances on part of the stage)

(A woman walks onto the stage wearing this Pacitalia kit)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/Paciwhitesoccertest.png

Woman: Hello.

Vil: Hello.

Woman: Do you like my new kit?

Vil: I love your beautiful new kit.

Woman: I hear the party's up the tree.

Vil: Yes, I hope you'll go with me.

(They climb up the tree. When they get to the top they find all the Vils playing together. Each with the opposite type of Vil, they are mentioned with)

Narrator: Blue Vils and Red Vils, Big Vils and Small Vils. Working Vils and Playing Vils. Short Vils and Tall Vils. Fishing Vils and Cycling Vils. Hot Vils and Cool Vils. Laughing Vils and Crying Vils and Screaming Vils and Sighing Vils. All the Vils together at a party. What do they like to do at the party?

Narrator and all the Vils: Read Vils Read.

(The curtain comes down)

(The curtain comes back up and the characters do a curtain call. Then the curtains go back down and the credits begin to roll)

Credits (in order of appearance):

Narrator: Tex-Mex
Vil: Enzo Ahat
Pizelkaxrovsky: Pizelkaxrovsky
Milchamian Warrior: Schreider Martin
Az-cz: Noy-Nek
Zg-Mk: Zg-Mk
Tivali Ring Stadium Guy: Rn-Dm
Z-Boy: Z-Boy
Woman: Shabe Sugiyo
Vils at work: Yabai Tomoai, Ioalai Morai, Viliama Riistamii
Vils at play: Yabai Tomoai, Ioalai Morai, Viliama Riistamii
Little Vils: Various Az-czid children
Big Vil: Mario Nerazzurri
Fishing Vil 1: Stanleyinho
Fishing Vil 2: Hubertino
Kn-Dg: Kn-Dg
Mar-Mar: Mar-Mar
Woman holding flowers: Taihenna Eromi
Peter Harden: Peter Harden
Ghost: Lur-Mn
Coach Khim: Roger Levesque
Up the Hill Vil: Kl-Slt
Down the HIll Vil: Al-Va
Laughing Vil: Nr-Th
Crying Vil: Ee-St
Screaming Vil: Sow-Th
Sighing Vil: We-St
Roof Vil: Mo-Pet
Rejistanian: James Levesque
Bazalope Rider: Joshua Trengrove
Rk-Mrs: Rk-Mrs
SuperDude: Gn-Lg
Spaam Sign: Wk-Gy
AOU21 team: AOU21 team
Maze Vil: Qaz-Ox
Ootaniz Riiatzor: Ootaniz Riiatzor
Red Vil: Se-Ga
Blue Vil: Nin-Tn
Left Cyclist: Ed-Hlry
Right Cyclist: Go-Gdjt
Turned Around Cyclist: Grg-Lmnd
Jungle Cat: Ki-Rin
Super Claymore: Tobias Churchill
Oliverry Guys: Hey-Dk, Sk-Ik, Dru-Ri
Super Tux: Isz-By
Lottery People: Az-cz baseball team
Naked Woman: Ji-Hn

Okielahoma! Where the goals come rushing in!

Yes as many of you know after sparing a national medical emergency in System Karela by only scoring two goals. But our strikers got right back on the saddle with two goals a piece in last night's match against Okielahoma. After laying a medival siege to Okielahoma's a cannon shot from the foot Armaos broke the deadlock after 27 minutes of trying and opened up the floodgates, with Armaos snagging himself another within five minutes after cheekly stealing the ball from Cobb who just left standing. After setting up Armaos' first goal, Armaos returns the favour to Walsh near the end of the first half, after bursting into the box looking up to see Walsh making the run in, and send the ball across to Walsh who duly smashes into the top corner, and so we were three up by half time. With Qutar in a comfortable position Davies decides to make some changes at half time, with Harvey coming on for Armaos making history as the youngest player to earn a cap for The Islands of Qutar, and one Morgan being exchanged for another, Rhodri coming off for his younger brother James.

At the start of the second half the occasion seemed to get to Harvey as he played seemingly half hearted, but he soon got into his stride showing why at sixteen years of age his is making men twice his age quake in thier boots. He almost wrote himself another record in the book, scoring a seemly fair goal after picking up a long ball from midfield, but it was deemed to be offside. He did however manage to set up his partner Walsh with a neat cross in from the right to make it four to the good. After this the pace of the game seemed to relax with The Islands of Qutar not really pushing forward and late in the game Okielahoma managed to bumble in a consolation goal right at the end of the match from a corner, replays have shown Wright being held back by a Okielahoma player something the referee failed to notice.

With Northern Caesarea winning their game against The Mice of Miceland, they keep up the pressure in the race for the top places, at the moment it seems that the top three teams; Casari, us and Northern Caesarea are pulling away from the other teams in the group. But with Northern Caesarea playing Casari at home things could change with a by the book Casari win and an Anastasiania win pulling the race for third much closer, however if Northern Caesarea could pull off an upset the race for the top spot becomes much more interesting.


Okielahoma 1 - 4 The Islands of Qutar
Bateman, 90' Armaos, 27', 32' ......................
Walsh, 44', 61'

Group Five Table
.....
http://members.lycos.co.uk/rockface2004/table3.png

Spaamanian Confidence Trickster on the Loose!

Yes it seemed there is a nefarious Spaamanian individual taking advantage of the trusting nature of the Qutari people, no description of the individual is avalible at present. But if a shifty looking Spaamanian tells you facts you're not sure of, check them out from another source (Bedistani's can be very helpful) before taking that "fact" to be the truth.

(OOC: Since Bolúfero was injured, I’m saying it was Arnold Sims that scored the hat-trick.)

The Aeropag Tribune—Now with graphics production outsourced to avoid iBay ads!

Sports: SLANI dominant in win at Sativaville
SATIVAVILLE—What was expected to be a difficult away match for the Capitalizts against 57th-ranked Sativaville turned into an easy 4–0 victory. With Alejandro Bolúfero out, backup forward Arnold Sims was able to prove his abilities, picking up three goals by the end of the match.
The first goal for Sims came late in the first half, when Stoners midfielder Louie Heavin hesitated and lost the ball to Tokay. He passed the ball to Sims, who was able to put it past Trent Rauda for a 1–0 Capitalizts lead. The home crowd was disappointed by this goal, as they believed Sims was offside, which video replay proves he was, but the flag did not go up.
Sims’ second goal was on a free kick from 30 meters out early in the second half, which he bounced off of the crossbar and into the goal. On the other end of the field, the Capitalizts defense seemed unstoppable, with the Stoners not even getting a shot on goal for most of the second half. The one time they did come close was on a corner kick in the 72nd minute, which Emma Greer was able to get control of and send down the field. The Capitalizt counter-attack was finished perfectly by Sims, making the score Sims 3–0 Sativaville.
The other forwards being jealous of Arnold Sims’ success, the Capitalizts continued to play a 3–3–4 through the end of the game, with Παπαχαραλαμπους (Papakharalampous), Σκαλκώτας (Skalkṓtas), and Krišanović competing to see which could score first. The winner was Σκαλκώτας, who put the final goal of the game away in the first minute of injury time, giving the Capitalizts a well-deserved 4–0 victory.
SLANI has one match left before their showdown with Krytenia, an away game at Elves Security Forces. Coming off of a big win against a 57th-ranked team, ESF’s 64th rank should be of no concern to the Capitalizts, but with Demot’s upset draw against Krytenia today, it seems that anything could happen.

Final score:
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/COM/ Unified Capitalizt States (SLANI) 4
Sims 40, 57, 74, Σκαλκώτας 90+1
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/CAS/ Sativaville 0

Northern Caesarea 1 Mice of Miceland 0

1. Cuéllar ***

2. Díez **
14. Molinero **
3. Bardají **

19. Gabi 0 => 7. Maragall (m.68)
13. Castro **** => 5. Rivera (m.77 )
10. Baldo *** => 6. Begines (m.70 )
8. Ríos ****

23. González ***
9. Torres ***
15. Javi ** I

0-1 M.86: Torres gets a Maragall pass and scores the 1-0

"Welcome once again to World Cup Sloths on SchiaSport TV, live from Sel Appa. I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone."

"Well, how can we top that? A stunning finish to the Schiavonia Derby at Kingsbury Downs saw 45-1 outsider Old Gluebait run away with the title after coming from nowhere to pip bookies favourite King Kenny in the final few yards."

"Stunning comeback, and I've won almost 28 wields from it, so all the better!"

"You mean to say you put your lottery jackpot on it winning?"

"I certainly did!"

"I don't think you're the only one, either. Reports are that even though the betsmen brought his price in from 1000-1 to 45s, they were still convinced he was absolutely hopeless. Seems they were wrong."

"Yup."

"Right. Well, we're here for Schiavonia against Sel Appa. Schiavonia are starting with the same team for the third match in a row, so no need to run you through that too much. Sel Appa are an even more attacking team than us. Vasily Kashchanko is their goalkeeper, then just three defenders, Bernard Apple, Jimmy Peech and Fo Chang, the three midfielders are Jacques Latortue, Colin Patette and Theo Matou, then four players up front in Alan Dubrov, Lee Rehsom, Estevez and Alex Nart."

"Blimey, two very attacking sides out there today, although Schiavonia's defence has looked brilliant with the Fielding brothers, the ever solid Nicolai Ferreira and the hugely experienced Enrique Williams have played brilliantly this campaign, obviously helped by Berry and Tiss protecting them in midfield. That'll probably be the difference in the end."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png - - http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png - - http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

Full time

"Well, another win for the Slots, three-nil win here in Sel Appa."

"Six-nil!"

"Fil, it finished three-nil. it might have been six if we didn't decide to give some of the subs a go in the second half."

"It should have been six! Those three were never offside!"

"They were miles offside!"

"No they weren't!"

"Yes they were! Hell, one of them Di Chuna didn't even put into the goal!"

"But you do think it should have been six-nil, no?"

"Don't be stupid! Look at the scoresheet... Schiavonia scored three - Edwards four minutes, Chester thirty-three and thirty-six."

"I'm telling you it was six, that's what Dana said..."

"We'll see you all next time on World Cup Sloths!"

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k163/canuck3360/SportsnetRVWCXXXI.png

with some technical Delays Here are the last few matches

Rorysville v Tocapa
Rorysville pretty much dominated from the opening whistle to the final whistle. Rorysville would allow one goal at the 67th minute after building a 3 nill lead on goals by Negeuanne-32min,Trefelov-47min,Millens-53min.
Rorysville v Spaam
This was a great match as both sides traded goals at the 17th and 23rd minutes and Rorysville took the lead at the 34th minute on a Negeuanne and went into halftime with the lead that wouldn't last very long as Spaam would get back into the game tieing it up at the 56th minute and then took the lead at the 72nd minute and the game went down 3-2 in favor of Spaam.
Rorysville v Iansisle
Rorysville still reeling off the loss to Spaam would rebound nicely and dominate this game from the opening to the finish giving Larionov his first career International Shutout. Rorysville's Goals would come at the 12th minute from Millens the only bad spot in the match was Decost's Injury on a hard tackle at the 21rst minute(Out for the rest of the cup) On would come 17 year old Paul Guard who wouldn't wait too long to let his prescence be felt scoring his second career goal at the 35th minute. Guard would again notch a goal at the 64th minute puting RV up 3 nill and this time they wouldn't surrender a goal ending the game 3 nill
Rorysville v Wentland
This one would be another one of those matches that we would like to replay but that isn't going to happen so let's build off it and hope for a miricle ahead of us where we straighten out our play.Wentland looked sluggish to start things out and Paul Guard would capitalise on that sluggishness netting a goal at th 23rd minute that would be the only goal as the teams stepped up defensive play until the 82nd minute when Frankie Treves notched the tieing goal. the game ended with the one all result.

Rorysville Scoring Leaders
A.Negeuanne-6
P.Guard-4
J.Pérez-2
M.Millens-2
A.Lenevue-1
M.Schweitzer-1
A.Trefelov-1

Updated Group 9 Standings
---Group 9---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Spaam 7 6 1 0 25-11 +14 19
[2] Squornshelous 7 6 0 1 19-11 +8 18
[3] The Archregimancy 7 4 3 0 22-10 +12 15
4- Tessan 7 4 2 1 23-13 +10 14
5- Rorysville 7 3 1 3 17-12 +5 10
6- Wentland 7 2 2 3 12-17 -5 8
7- Funnia Lan 7 2 1 4 14-25 -11 7
8- Iansisle 7 1 1 5 13-18 -5 4
9- Tocapa 7 1 1 5 14-23 -9 4
10- Lord of Hosts 7 0 0 7 7-26 -19 0

Moose Schedule
MD01 v Squornshelous L 3-2
MD02 v The Archregimancy L 3-1
MD03 v Funnia Lan W 5-1
MD04 v Tocapa W 3-1
MD05 @ Spaam L 3-2
MD06 v Iansisle W 3-0
MD07 @ Wentland D 1-1
MD08 @ Tessan
MD09 v Lord of Hosts
MD10 @ Squornshelous
MD11 @ The Archregimancy
MD12 @ Funnia Lan
MD13 @ Tocapa
MD14 v Spaam
MD15 @ Iansisle
MD16 v Wentland
MD17 v Tessan
MD18 @ Lord of Hosts

Elven Times
Another Divided Tragedy

Instead of the normal report from last night's match, the editors decided that something new and fresh was in order. So they challenged the players to come up with their best efforts of putting last night's match into poetry. Well I can tell you now, that some of these people don't know a poem from an essay, even if they are suberb footballers. Anyways, here is the winner, fresh off the hand of Justinian Constant.

A mistiful bliss graced the air
As we prepared to do battle with foes from afar
With rage and honor in our hearts
It would be a clash of titans that could shake the world
As instruments of war clashed and clang
True warriors took the field and did battle to win the day.
Marauders defending their homeland are always fierce
But when outnumbered, the outcome always does look bleak.
Yet the proud warriors fought with all their lore
As the dazzling talents of Night took down a score.
For the majority of battle it looked as if their foes would flee before their might
But as late reinforcements arrive, it was the Marauders who faced the plight
Fast did the bliss sink from the hearts of the defenders, as two legions fell to the the enemy advancements.
With the knowledge that other battles were to be had
The proud captain Zacharius recalled his troops and they made a daring escape to another fortress
There we shall wait to vie with more foes as we lick our wounds
For we are elves, and we will always have our honor
Even in the tragedy of defeat.

Article by Ron Santapa

ESECK Times

The gods are pleased with Eseck. Yeah the gods are pleased with Eseck following an upset against Quakmybush. Quakmybush has been looking for a come back to the top of the rankings but Eseck manage to stop them with a goal by Ragde. Ragde told the press that he felt very blessed that his header managed to slip by keeper Sam Carrol, but the difference was made by Eseck's impressive defense that did not allow a goal to go in.

Controversial News on today's game. Did forward Corey Sorley score or not? The questionable decission by the Refree to rule out a clear goal has left many to believe that maybe the World Cup needs somekind of challenge by the coach. Corey told the A.P. that the ruling out of that early goal and other questionable decissions lowered the moral of the team and that's why the team lost.

World Cup Commitee Speaks. The WCC said that they were not going to take the win away from Eseck because the young players deserved it after pulling out an extraordinary upset, but they will fine the refree and also prevent him from ever take part in any international competition.

Refree speaks out. The refree of today's game between Quakmybush and Eseck has spoken in a press conference about the sanctions posed to him from the WCC. He said that it wasn't fair cause he ruled as he saw it fit not being biased against any team, but people believe that he was mad at Quakmybush because he was arrested in the country for violating several rules.

Eseck Coach Speaks Out. It don't matter if this win was awarded to us I believe it was at least a tie so my team will practice tougher to at least pose some oposition to number 20 in the ranks ASMV

Sacrifices. Sacrifes took effect today right after the game inoder to thank the gods for their help. Still more sacrifes will take effect today at midnight to try to get the gods in our favor again said the King of Eseck.:mp5: :sniper: :gundge:

SABOTAGE SCANDAL
Hacker homecoming ruined by pranksters

It should have been a glorious homecoming for Norman Hacker, returning to the Lychgate as manager of the national side. Alas the ground was in an unfit state to host what would have been its first-ever international match as vandals had written "Crowhurst Forever" through the middle of the pitch with weedkiller.

The match had to be switched at short notice to the only nearby ground capable of hosting an international match - the small but well-appointed Dean Acre, home of Burndean, which had also not hosted a match.

The disruption affected the Swifts more than Rorysville. Wentland had practised on a huge pitch like Maitland's but had to deal with a tiny area, which inhibited the work ethic and stamina advantages Wentland possessed over Rorysville. And the Swifts were undone early on as Guard confounded Wright in defence and scored a deft opener.

Fortunately Rorysville then hung back in defence and allowed Wentland to play with a bit more verve - normally not a word to be found in the Hacker dictionary. On the hour Frankie Treves was brought on and he proved to be an inspired substitution as he scored the equalizer after some neat work by Cosmo Kent on the right wing.

1-1, not really good enough as Wentland languish in group 9, but Norman Hacker is still fuming at what he considers to have been a deliberate attempt by Crowhurst to disrupt his tenure. The place of Benny Jones and Dennis Tracey in the squad must be in doubt.

"What a glorious day."

"What?"

"We just blew past Commerce Heights, a world power, and took back the number one spot in our group. Wouldn't you agree that this is a glorious day?"

"Umm...that wasn't Commerce Heights?"

"Say what?"

"That wasn't the real Commerce Heights. That was, like, their minor leagues or something."

"The [obscene synonym for copulation] it's not the 'real' Commerce Heights! Look here, in the Presse-Journal Devoir: PALADINS 3 (Corcoran 50, Hunyadi 54, F. Labranche 90), COMMERCE HEIGHTS JSY 1. Right there! In capitals, no less!"

"Yeah, you see the JSY at the end?"

"I thought that was their full title. Like we're the Silver Paladinate of the New Montreal States."

"No. No, it's not."

"So what's the 'real' Commerce Heights, then?"

"Something called 'Capitalizt SLANI', I think."

"Isn't SLANI some sort of swearword in Rejistania?"

"I think so."

"And yet they name a football league after it."

"Yep."

"Those wacky foreigners!"

"Tell me about it."

"Well, they name their teams after profane and derogatory..."

"...I didn't mean literally."

“Greetings, Assegai! This is Luna Lovegood reporting live from Spindomia, where tonight, the Riskbreakers of Assegai Developments have finally broken their winless drought in the Nation States World Cup with a resounding 4-1 shellacking over Spindomia.”

Luna turns to her left and we see Assegai forward Samantha Neesa and defenders Romeo Guildenstern and Jan Rosencrantz.

She approaches Guildenstern and Rosencrantz, who are chitchatting back and forth with each other.

“Wow, guys, after six hard losses, no one believed Assegai Developments could win a game, even less win in such a definitive manner. What was different about tonight’s game?”

Rosencrantz scratches his head and turns to Guildenstern.

“Did you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it?” he asks.

“No,” responds Guildenstern dryly.

“Nor do I, really,” Rosencrantz chatters excitedly. “It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never *know* you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You'd wake up dead for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you'd be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you're dead. It isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, ‘I'm going to stuff you in this box. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?’ naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, ‘Well, at least I'm not dead. In a minute somebody is going to bang on the lid, and tell me to come out.’”

Rosencrantz grins at Guildenstern, who stares back at him, long and hard.

“I think I’m going to kill you,” Rosencrantz finally says. “What the Henry Neville is wrong with you today?”

“Holy Hell, man,” exclaims Guildenstern. “We finally won a bloody game!”

Dejected, Luna’s hand drops to her side. She shakes her head. Rosencrantz slaps Guildenstern upside the head.

Luna moves over to Samantha as the two Assegai defenders shove each other back and forth off-screen.

“Samantha, you guys broke through in a big way. What does this 4-1 victory mean for the team?” Luna asks.

“It’s huge, Luna,” says Samantha with a wide smile. “It’s proof that the preparation off the field and hard work on the pitch are finally yielding results. We feel that, in time, victories like this will come more often than not.”

“Girl, you scored three goals tonight but you sure don’t sound like it,” Luna laughs.

“Luna, I’m just doing what I love to do more than anything, and that’s score goals. But, I like to keep it chill,” says Samantha calmly. “Seriously, though, two of those were off amazing passes from Joshua at midfield, and Severus did a good job of setting me up for the third one near the end of the game. By the way, I think his goal at the 5th minute is what got us going. So, big ups to Snape.”

“What are your prospects for the rest of the tourney?” Luna asks her.

“To be honest, I don’t expect a repeat performance of tonight’s game,” Samantha says in a serious tone. “We’re still getting acclimated to this level of football. That 0-7 loss to Starblaydia—at home—still burns and every loss hurts. Tonight’s win allows us to take a deep breath, but we know we’ll be drowning in the sorrow of hard losses. Now, don’t take me wrong, we don’t go out there to lose. Hell no. We want to win.”

“Fair enough,” Luna says. “Well, thank you for your time. I look forward to talking to you again soon.”

“Thanks, Luna,” says Samantha waving.

“Folks, this is Luna Lovegood signing off. Have a great night!”

* in the 56th minute of the Eseck vs Quakmybush game*

Commentator: and Fields brings the ball down the left wing. Crosses it... and a header from Plett hits the bar. GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cory Sorley taps the ball into the the wide open net 1-1 game!. It what is one of the most beautiful crosses I have seen in my commentating career. What's this? The referee has waved off the goal. For what reason I can't comprehend, but he has. I am now recieving word that he has called it offsides. I cannot belive this, he was not offsides at all.

*down to the field*

"What the hell do you mean offside! That wasnt even close! Un-fucking-believable! Man, you are the worst referee I have ever seen in my life! How much are these dirty Eseckians paying you? 5 bucks? probly more than you normally make. I can't belive this." Cory Sorley screamed.

*after full time Quakmybush losing 1-0*

"What the hell kinda game was that guys! You played like a bunch of girls, now we are 4 points of a freaking qualifying spot! We can't do this shit! We need to get in! C'mon we still have 11 games left we can do this!" Greg Hughes screamed when the team returned to the locker room.

The team boarded the plane and all of a sudden Chris Bricking looked flushed. He then went to the wasroom where he puked and came back. "Must have been something I ate" he said with a laugh.

The team had to re-focus, this cakewalk they thought they had, had turned into a tightrope walk. They needed to hope that Eseck's luck runs out, and that they can play good throught out the rest of the qualifying.

Put Four Past Rordia!
Starblaydia keep 1 point lead

In Group One, Starblaydia retained their one point lead over the rest of the group by way of a four-nil victory over Rordia. The sixty-third rank side were no match for Starblaydia's power, pace and precision, even with their home crowd behind them. The sheer skill of Starblaydia's team - not even the first team - was too much for Rordia and they sank without trace against the men and women in white and purple.

One woman (twice), a dwarf and a regular man were the Starblaydis who got on the scoresheet. Janica Rocca scored a brace of goals to sink Rordia's hopes practically on her own, netting in the twenty-second and sixtieth minutes. Janica has never really caught fire in the Starblaydi squad, and two goals to take her senior international tally to nine to give her a bit more respectability in the international standings.

Also on the scoresheet were youngsters Nuno Volaré and Keztarr Mahezihim - who's so young by Dwarven standards he's still described as 'beardless' - both scoring their second international goals. By this time Rordia had ceased to be an effective fighting force and Starblaydia were in full-on cruise control for the final twenty minutes, still denying Rordia a chance on target.

Starblaydia next face surprise packages Eseck, who have sneaked into a Qualification spot at this early stage in the group standings. Starblaydia will once again be looking for another three points to keep them ahead of their nearest rivals in this group.

Final Score:
Rordia 0 - 4 Starblaydia
None) - (Rocca 22 & 60, Mehezihim 37, Volaré 88)

Demot Daily ~ Kry Shocker

In an major upset, the Dynamo traveled to Krytenia and shocked the fifth ranked team in the world by pulling a magical draw out of their sleeves. Ysman and Black combined for the Dynamo goals, and put tears of joy in many of the nation, while the Krytenians were sheeding their own tears out of fear of a devestating loss to the up and coming squad. However the defence couldn't hold in the end, and the team just had to settle with the suprising draw.

Samantha scored in the eleventh minute off a restart just outside the box, and Sarah in the 50th, off a devestating counter. The Krytenia squad was able to keep the Dynamo from winning the pivitol match with two goals from striker Quinnell in injury time that Orien should of saved, but wnet through his gloves due to the massive amounts of rain that had poured throughout the match.

The Dynamo now looks to topal the Mystical Unicorns of Dorian and Sonya, before trying to take down another powerhouse in Cataduanes. The team will be looking pretty if they can squeak out another three or four points from those contests, and look forward to the second time aruond with their group mates. At this point, it is trully anyones guess as to who will emerge victorious from this group.

Scorers
Sarah Ysman - 8
Samantha Black - 5
David Masteron - 2
Justin Frontson - 1
Christi Sans - 1
Allison Lucas -1

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

Before the match

Heje Who?

You are not supposed to know her, she is a central or defensive midfielder, she plays for Iskenjada Lines and she was nominated for the national team after the Hexatux has pinpointed the midfield was one of the numerous weaknesses in the 2:2 against Dance 2 Revolution. Not muuch is known about her. She is 24 years old, she likes Jemhe-music and penguins, she works at Semedet in the call center. The most striking part in her appearance the fact that her skin is white. She lives in the Tanijika comunity in Iskenjeda kalesa, Jinhes Kali. There is no footage of her playing except in the databases of the Hexatux (who prefers not to share it). We can only guess that the Hexatux has been hacked by a foreign team to include her.

Cut by Cuation

exerpts From KSIM Sports brodcast of the game

"DeBuille takes the ball runs towards the right Kicks it........ Over the net for a miss"

" Cuation has it, they send it to Fei and they score. Cuation 1 TMK 0"

"Cuation has it, they send this time to Lewish who scores! Two nil Cuation"

" Beverly has it she Shoots and it's...........Wide left"

" and there's the final whistle as Cuation wins 2-0

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow.



In our last report we claimed that anyone with doubts on the Turorian defense could eat their words. Now it seems like it will be the Turori National eating its words. In a startling display of disharmony, Cocoabo one brutally attacked Cocoabo number four after an error in defense nearly gave the Oliverryan French Fries a goal. Unfortunately for the Eels, and for Cocoabo number four, that attack had fatal repercussions which will mean Cocoabo number four will be out of action forever. Cocoabo Number One was also red carded for the offense despite it being against a player on its own team, which meant that Turori had to defend its one goal advantage with just two defenders. Oliverry would go up 2-1 after the half but a late salvaging goal by Cocoabo number elevent saw the result end in a draw.

It is currently unclear whether there will be any further action taken against Cocoabo number one. Killing is punishable by life imprisionment in Oliverry, but the Turorian legal team will be researching whether or not the rule extends to animals including the Cocoabo, and whether or not it additionally extends to private affairs such as a foreign-organized sporting event. Further details will be revealed at a later date, but Cocoabo number one will be missing the match against Spaamanium Plijous regardless due to the red card. Unfortunately the death on the pitch was especially disheartening to little Umfaure Ikazaula of Cednia Beach. The little boy had to be taken to the hospital due to water loss on account of the tears shed at the sight of a dead Cocoabo lying on the pitch, no less Team Co-Captain Cocoabo number four.

Doctors in Cednia were able to finally stop the boy from crying, but the dehydration severely altered some portions of his brain as his mother tried to calm him to sleep.



...he Eseck squad is now lined up on the pitch just awaiting the referrees whistle. And there it is. The whistle has blown and Starblaydia is not yet on the field. Their bus pulled up just a moment ago. And look! Theres an odd looking fellow with a long bea... oh my. He's tried to jump over the advertising boards and fallen flat on his face, how embarrassing!

Yes, it is quite embarassing, and it's going to cost him too, as Eseck has just scored the games first goal uncontested.

Well, it looks like he's back on his feet, and referee is urging him into the center circle. He's trying to stall, but the referee has blown the whistle. The Eseck play... oh there it is, He's just touched the ball and now the Eseck forwards are strolling up the pitch. Still winded from his fall over the boards, the poor dwarf is just not going to catch up, and its now 2-0 to the home side.

Yea it is Bob, I don't know if I've ever seen anything like this.

Well, they should have shown up on time, it's not Eseck's fault, now is it?

On the brightside, here comes two more Starblaydians onto the pitch. One of them is wearing a suit.

Surely, they are going to be called for improper uniforms. They can wear a suit if they all wear a suit, but they can't mix and match. And yup, theres the whistle, suit man is going to have to step off the pitch.

I don't know what they're going to do, but the arguement is killing some valuable time.

What's this? They are disrobing. This could get ugly

Well, I suppose that's one way to get around the identical kits requirement!

Surely this has to be against the rules.

Well, the ref has waved play on and - oh my, that has to hurt. With nothing between himself and the pitch that Starblaydian has gone in hard. To make matters worse, The properly attired Eseck player has done a nice flick and will have no troubled netting the third goal for the home side.

Right, Just five minutes in this is looking like a one sided contest. Both on the scoreboard, and on the pitch. Where is the rest of the Starblaydi team....


... Well, it's 5-0 Eseck now and it appears the rest of the Starblaydi team has shown up in Full Kit. They're either going to have to strip back down, or the players currently on the pitch are going to have to come off and put some clothes on. Lets hope they choose the second of the two!

Right you are Bob, and thankfully, it looks like they are. It looks more like a line change in a Hockey match as the neud Starblaydians come off and the kitted ones onto the field.

Unfortunately theres only 6 of them on the field at the moment, and the referree has started play again. Those free-swingers had better hurry up with those kits or - well here it comes, and yes, there it is, Eseck leads 6-0. That keeper better stall a bit to allow the rest of his team to get some clothes on.

Yes, it looks like they'll make it, perhaps now a proper match can res...



...aure. Umfaure wake up baby. Hey! Theres my little sunshine! How are you feeling any better?

* Umfaure blinked, not quite sure what had happened, but he was glad it was over with.

What an odd dream, mommy.

Oh yea?



http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 2
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/oliverry.gif Oliverry 2




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)

After last night's unfortunate events in Milchama, popular Holy Empire beat combo Basileus Chiefs have immediately released their new single "I predict a Milchama riot" - which has gone straight to the top of the Imperial Hit Parade.

Groovy.

I PREDICT A MILCHAMA RIOT
By the Basileus Chiefs

Watching Milchamans get lairy
Is not very pretty I tell thee
Walking to their ground is quite scary
And not very sensible either
A friend of a friend he got beaten
He looked the wrong way at a policeman
Would never have happened to Albentine
And old JJ Floren
La-ah-ah, la la lalala la
Ah-ah-ah, la la lalala la

I predict a riot, I predict a riot
I predict a riot, I predict a riot

I tried to get in my taxi
A Milchaman in a tracksuit attacked me
He said that he saw it before me
Wants to get things a bit gory
Our fans run around with no clothes on
Attacked by the home fans whose team won
If it wasn't for chip fat, well they'd be frozen
They're really rather sensible

La-ah-ah, la la lalala la
Ah-ah-ah, la la lalala la

I predict a riot, I predict a riot
I predict a riot, I predict a riot

It's a pity our own team lost 3-2
But if they lose, what then do Milchamans do?

Watching Milchamans get lairy
Is not very pretty I tell thee
Walking to their ground is quite scary
And not very sensible

La-ah-ah, la la lalala la
Ah-ah-ah, la la lalala la

I predict a riot, I predict a riot
I predict a riot, I predict a riot

It's a pity our own team lost 3-2
But if they lose, what then do Milchamans do?

I predict a riot, I predict a riot
I predict a riot, I predict a riot

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

Super Soccer League

Page 1:
Panel 1:

This was a panel of Blackness and this panel was very small, taking up only a small portion of the page. However there was a voice speaking "Welcome to my Lair."

Panel 2:

Another small panel, the 4 players from Bazalonia, Az-Cz, System Karela and The Archregimancy, the Archregimancy player was specially drawn in a vague way not to give any direct hint of his Identity. All 4 of them where strapped into chairs and the brightlights on them, their faces contorted as they tried to cope with the sudden bright lights.

Panel 3:

This panel showed a panoramic view of the Lair, It looked like it was an expansive metal time-capsule with shielded cabling various lights and buttons all over. In the middle of the panel there was the well known Golden Lion just sitting in the centre of the room. "Where are we?" asked Peter Hobble all the other players also had quizicle looks but failed to voice the question.

Panel 4:

"We are everywhere and nowhere, we are in the Ides of March Control Centre." the voice was coming out of the statue in centre of the room.

Page 2:
Panel 5:

The soccer players where trying to get out of the seats trying to wiggle out of the chairs. "What do you want with us?" said Peter Hobble while trying to extracate himself from the chair. The reply came from the Golden Lion. "Now, of course trying to leave early is very bad manners, but I suppose I should be a gracious host."

Panel 6:

he belts and straps that where holding the four players to the chairs retracted and gave the players at least something that resembled freedom. "So you are probably wondering why I have gathered you all hear today." stated to voice coming from the Golden Lion. "Kidnapped us more like." responded Peter.. "Argghh.. Too much Takil" exclaimed the player from System Karela.

Panel 7:

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, we are on the virge of a new world. You of all people Peter should understand." The players had started to wander around aimlessly, well apart from Peter who started towards the Golden Lion in the room.

Page 3:
Panel 8:

Peter was kneeling down in-front of the lion examining it, a speaker in the lion is apparent to him and so he said "A new world? What does that have to do with us?".... "More than you think Peter, More than you think. Great piece of engineering isn't it?" asked the Lion "What?!" The Golden Statue replied with "Exactly what you are examining now."

Panel 9:

"So what's this new world then?" asked Peter. The Golden Lion replied "Now is not the right time to discuss that, however I have something I want to show you."

Panel 10:

A wider view of the situation that the 4 players found themselves in was displayed in this panel, a door had opened on the right-side of the room, the strange thing was what was thought to be some sort of computer console was previously located there "So, what are you waiting for, the door is there go through it" said the Lion. "Oh, a tacky secret door, very imaginative."

Page 4:
Panel 11:

The outlines of the 4 soccer players where seen by the shadow cast by the light coming through the secret door from the main room. "Welcome to the future of Football..." "... What we can't see anything" Peter cheekily said. "Now Peter, Words like that will threaten your place in the new world, BEHOLD!"

Panel 12:

The lights came on and there was an expansive layout, football stadiums from all around the World. Some of these included TeleBaz Stadium, Überdome, Jader Barbalho and the Schiavonian one in Kingsbury. Whatever it was called. Even squite a few of the lesser famous ones including Xed City Stadium in QuakmyBush,Dome de Saint-Francois in Oliverry and King Alfons Stadium in Spruitland. "Welcome to the future." came a voice from the PA system in the room

Panel 13:

The lights had dimmed... "Imagine a player that has no weaknesses" "with the strength of 20 orcs" "the tacical abilities of a thousand Megalog Supercomputers", "the ultimate System Karela side times 300" "and the attack of a million F-37 Archers"... "Even a team full of Alan Belmores could not beat that." All of this came out of the PA system.

Page 5:
Panel 14:

"Just look into the nearest stadium and you will see." said the voice. This Panel was actually a close up of the TeleBaz mock up in this display room. Holographic figures appeared and started to play soccer. However all the players where the same and there was something familiar about the players but no one could say exactly what. "These players all look the same." stated "This will be my Super Soccer League, the ultimate in GodMods And nothing can stand in my way."

Panel 15:

"So why did you show all that to us?" asked Peter Hobble. The response came from the PA system. "You all my friends will help me acheive my goal. Infact I have on more thing to show you."

Panel 16:

A Television screen was turned on, though we couldn't see it, it was drawn from the perspective of the corner of the room. We could see the 4 soccer players and their reaction of which Peter Hobble had the most violent reaction... "It's You, I thought you where..." Peter exclaimed before he was cut off by the voice that came from display. "Yes, Peter it is me. But it is now time for you to go to sleep."

Page 6:
Panel 17:

As with some of the other comics the last page was a full panel. IT contained the full scene, gas was being pumped into the room through small vents near the roof in the wall. You could see the gas flow into the room, the gas was already filling the room and only Peter Hobble in the room was not asleep with the appropriate comic Zzz's coming from his mouth but it would be soon that the he would be. The following words escaped his mouth. "You won't get away with this B.. *zzzzzz*". "Goodnight, don't let the bed bugs bite... BWHAHAHAHAHA"

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

SLS interested in Kija'he

The KaMaRian H1SR club Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati has shown interest in signing the Iskenjada Lines midfieldgod Heje Kija. The Jinhesi was surprisingly selected by either Jenji Y or the Hexatux, his artificial intelligence-based assistant. After the extremely convincing performance against Tynelia, Heje Kija, who until now works in a callcenter for a local telephone company, suddenly became noticed for her talent in entire Rejistania. Her Mother said that suddenly there are 'like 20 interview requests per day' and that she 'always knew Heje would one day be someone'. The daughter of second-generation immigrants says that she 'considers all offers. Iskenjada Lines will surely do very bad without her.

"So let me get this straight. You're starting a religion?"

"When you put it that way, I sound crazy." Hill said, sitting back in her chair behind the desk."

Lemurry shrugged. "You sound crazy anyway. How's it coming?"

"Not very well. There's more to this than I thought."

"Well, how far are you so far?"

"Not very. I mean, how much do you need to start a religion?"

"Divine inspiration?"

Hill shook her head. "That would help."

"So, onto things that are actually in the realm of hre and now, hmm?"

"This Leir stuff is driving me up the wall. They're all crazy as bats. The scouts messing themselves while watching her and then starting to fling money at her out of nowhere just made me look like the bad guy."

"You are the bad guy, Viv."

Hill scowled. "Obviously, but I can't let it come across that way. I'm sure they managed to get some of their deals through to her bumpkin lawyer by now. Hopefully the call of the money will be more than enough, but if it's not, I'm probably going to have to negotiate with some of those idiots in the Hockey league."

"You think they'd let her play both?

"They've taken to many hits to the head. It's all just in the wording, that's all. Small words, smiles, arm waving, stuff like that."

"You're really not that much of a people person, are you?"

"Why, what gives you that idea?" Hill said sweetly.

---=--=---

"This is an awful idea." Arrali said, darting from behind car to car, a large gym bag hanging off his shoulder.

"Oh it's a fine idea. Kyle won't know what freaking hit him." Nina said, looking around and reaching back. "Give me the jack."

Producing a car jack from the bag, Arrali quickly passed it off to Leir, who began jacking up the car. "You people have issues, you know." Arrali mumbled, looking around for people.

"Oh please. In four years, you'll be foing all the same stuff." Nina said, quickly seperating the car from it's tires with a tire iron. "Get the blocks."

Arrali slid over and began lifting concrete blocks out of the bag. In twenty minutes, the car was happily liberated of it's tires, which were rolled down the parking ramp to the door and hid in the maintence space.

"I don't know how I got stuck having to do all this crap with you guys."

"Because, Arrali, even though you're a pansy, you provide just enough common sense for us to know when we actually might be in trouble."

"I'd say I'm touched, but someone's coming."

"Shit. Cut through behind that blue car. Bring the bag!"

Arrali cut across the row quickly and into another, making for the stairs. The steps coming from the elevator echoed clearly across the empty parking lot. Arrali open the door to the stairs silently and snuck through, Leir stopping to listen through a crack.

An angry cry echoed across the ramp as Leir shut the door and began jumping down the stairs. "Haha, that poot bastard. Hurry up Arrali, we don't want to get busted now."

Matchday 8 RP Cutoff

MD 8 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11857293&postcount=8)

Please note that there will be a 48+ hour gap between MD 9 and MD10 scores to allow a midway break, as opposed to the usual 24 hour gap.

QAZOXIAN TIMES

It always seems to happen about this time very qualifaction.. and it did once again as Qazox lost to Spindomia 2-0, ending their unbeaten streak at 7 games. For some reason the Black Oxen always play down to thier opposition 2 or 3 times and lose, which usually means they miss out on qualifing for the Cup by 1 or 2 points (See World Cups 27 thru 29). Maybe it was the 3rd straight away game that got to Qazox or jet lag, but a loss to Assegai Developments in a couple of days could mean that the end is near for the Black Oxen as 5 of the next 6 matches are on the road as well.

Spindomia's #5 and #6 scored the two goals, both on penalty kicks caused by Ryan Holmes, who was yellow-carded for both infractions. Eric Redsen will start in his place for the Assegai Developments match on Friday.

Still though, the Black Oxen are in 2nd place in the group behind Starblaydia and tied in points with Eseck who are the bigger surprise in the group. However, both Raging Penguins and Quakmybush are only with in 1 and 2 behind us and ASMV seems to have straightened out a bit. There is still 10 matches to go, but the next 6 seemingly will decide if Qazox gets to the Cup or plays in the CoH yet again.

DOWNLOADING DAY EIGHT SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY EIGHT SCORE- GREEN WOMBAT 2- D2R 0

GOALS: HERMES CONRAD (2,3) 32ND MINUTE; 75TH MINUTE

GAME SUMMARY: SSGT Wilcox' goal streak ended, but Captain Hermes Conrad picked up the slack and scored twice as the FZW (Fighting Zombie Womabts) upset Dance 2 Revolution 2-0. The win moved Green Wombat back into 3rd palce in Group 3 behind only Rejistania and Schiavonia, which also happen to be the only teams the FZW have lost to. Up next is old rivals Tynelia, who have recently dominated the FZW, but a win or a draw would give Green Womabt a winning first half of qualifaction for the 1st time.

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: Well, he's no Trent Rauda, but Trent Estorga is a good keeper. He stopped all 13 shots he faced against Dj8989 as we won 4-0. Louie Heavin was the man of the match though as he scored 3 goals, in the 30th, 67th and 88th minutes for his 1st three goals ever. Way to do dude!! Trent Elvers added the other goal in the 51st minute.. Damn we got 3 Trent's on the team? that's like a Trentumverate!!! Ok.. very bad joke. Up next is Ikeea. That's right we're playing against a bunch of crappy furniture making Swedes. should be a win i guess. So far we're in 5th place, but only 4 points out of a qualifaction berth. With luck we could back-door our way into the Cup.

(OOC: Let the Spaaming begin! :p)

The Aeropag Tribune—1 000 tickets to Capitalizt SLANI–Krytenia for sale! Prices start at 100 g Au, limit 2 per customer

Sports: Capitalizts thwack Marauders in prelude to Überdome battle
ELVES SECURITY FORCES—During last night’s World Cup qualifier between Capitalizt SLANI and Elves Security Forces, there wasn’t a single Capitalizt that wasn’t thinking ahead to next month’s epic match between SLANI and Krytenia. Except for Capitalizts coach Randall Thacker. In what seemed to be the perfect conditions for an upset, Thacker led his team, sans almost-legendary striker Alejandro Bolúfero, to their eighth straight win, 5–2 over the Marauders.
The match got off to a bad start for ESF, with midfielder Rick Cuellar tripping Arnold Sims in the fifteenth second for a yellow card. After the free kick, the Marauders were able to keep the ball away from SLANI for several minutes, eventually turning their possession into a goal when an error by Roman Osthmeier led to an easy opportunity for Tobias Raynor. With the score at 0–1 in the eighth minute, the Capitalizts got a wake-up call. They took the ball into the Marauders’ half, and in the thirteenth minute, Παναγιώτης Παπαχαραλαμπους (Panagiṓtēs Papakharalampous) accidentally scored on what was supposed to be a pass across the field to Krišanović.
With the equalizer put away, the Capitalizt offense was free to take their time in attempting to take the lead, but Krišanović threw caution to the wind and attempted a 40-meter strike, which was easily caught by Martin St Louis. He punted the ball deep into the Capitalizts’ half, and the stunned Kuban-Schnellfrieder could only watch as the ball bounced into the goal.
However, the game was far from over, and Δημήτρης Σκαλκώτας (Dīmī́trīs Skalkṓtas) was able to put the Capitalizts back on level terms with a superb strike from the center. St Louis was able to get his finger on the ball, but failed to put it over the bar, and the score was 2–2.
In the second half, the Capitalizts seemed determined to pull ahead, and they were able to do so in the fifty-first minute on a penalty kick by Rudolf Tserkesidis. Despite the Marauders’ best efforts, the final third of the match was dominated by the Capitalizts, and goals by Krišanović and Sims sealed the game.
Though there are far too many things we could say about SLANI’s recent performances to fit in this space (but we promise to tell you all about it in a future article!), it does seem that ESF have been severely underperforming this Cup, having earned only eight points from their first eight matches. The win puts the Capitalizts on top of the group table going into the game against Krytenia, who also have an unbeaten record after their win over Cataduanes.

Final score:
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/COM/ Unified Capitalizt States (SLANI) 5
Παπαχαραλαμπους 13, Σκαλκώτας 28, Tserkesidis pen 51, Krišanović 66, Sims 72
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/ESF/ Elves Security Forces 2
Raynor 8, St Louis 17

News items from the Murrindal Mail

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/MurrindalMail.jpg

SHOCK REVELATIONS ON REMOTE ISLAND

There have been surprise developments on the small island discovered recently in a remote tropical ocean where the inhabitants claim to be Errinundrian. Magistrate snapisnapiestu has arrived at the island and spoke to us by satellite link. She says that despite speaking Japanese the natives of the island have a number of customs that are reminiscent of Errinundera.

“The thing that smacks you in the face the moment you arrive is their respect for their forest. In this island there are no eucalypts but instead there are gigantic araucarias similar to the Norfolk Island Pine. What is really spooky is that they have their own sacred tree: they call it GABRIELLEN.

“It gets even weirder. Their flag has the same colours as Errinundera. The only difference is that that they have an adult araucaria in the centre portion whereas we have a southern sassafras seedling.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Flag-RemoteIsland-1.png

“I have a feeling this discovery is going to cause some furrowed brows at the Sacred Tree Registry.”

Microbiologist and geneticist, owar, has taken blood samples from all 64 islanders and come to a startling conclusion. “They are descended from the same woman. She is the common ancestor from maybe 4 generations ago. She and her female descendants must have been pumping them out. As far as I can tell the male genetic material is typically Japanese and I would guess that there were 10 different men who contributed genetic material over those generations. In fact, I’d go out on a limb and say that the original mother bore a child to each of the ten men. The poor woman.

“My other major conclusion is that the Sacred Tree Registry is going to have brush-tail possums when they hear about this.”

Historian from the McKillops Bridge Polytechnic, ahoganysh, believes he has solved the riddle. “Legendary Errinundrian footballer, gabriellen, took up a career in marine zoology on retiring from sport. She disappeared 100 years ago while studying the migratory patterns of cuttlefish. Her ship was a Japanese fishing vessel. It appears that she and at least 10 Japanese men survived on the island. I wonder if it were a shipwreck or intentional.

“Whatever happens the Sacred Tree Registry is going to have heart failure.”

POTOROOS GO DOWN IN BEDISTAN IN ENTERTAINING PLAY

The potoroos travelled to Bedistan for their latest World Cup qualifying match and went down 1-nil. Vice-captain silvu is very proud of his team. “The Bedistanis are a better team than us but I honestly feel that we have more scope for improvement than they do. If we can get a couple more World Cup campaigns under our belts then we will be right up there with them. They really are a very professional side that plays a rigorous but fair brand of football. We probably did more of the breathtaking things but, then, we had to so we could keep up. I tell you the team is very exhausted.”

Exhausted is not the word that several other members of the squad would use. “The Bedistanis leave a very bad taste in your mouth,” says zirza, the young defender from Rodger River. “They are the just about the least nice people we have ever met. The change rooms were filthy and the ground staff were not just rude but belligerent. We were booed and jeered wherever we went. I was reading just today that Bedistan rates worse than 90,000th in the world when it comes to niceness. We are rated about 900th (825th actually.) Anyway niceness is such a daft concept anyway. Well, what exactly is it? Oddly enough everyone in the team who got the opportunity agreed that Bedistanis were good in bed. Not nice, but good.”

Defender phazel was horrified by the state of Bedistan’s environment. “Their national animal is on the brink of extinction. We didn’t see a single tree while we were there. Everyone is rich, rich, rich when it comes to useless gadgets and unneeded wealth. Who would want to live in such a pockmarked barren landscape? Bedistan is a democracy. What sort of people would choose this? Mind you, there a many floral displays in the city here. The ground itself is a picture. There are flower beds all around the pitch up against the fence. rosaniel went arse-over into one during the game. Que wasn't hurt but I've never seen the archangel look so undignified. Que was as red as a waratah.”

silvu has a conciliatory message. “They are fabulous but fair side. We admire them enormously for that.”

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Bedistan.pngBedistan 1
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.pngErrinundera 0

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k163/canuck3360/SportsnetRVWCXXXI.png
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Rorysville.png v http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Tessan.png
Moose Fans hang thier heads in Disgrace

Barely an effort put forth by the Moose against Tessan as they lose 5-1. The only Bright spot is the young Paul Guard who notched another goal his 5th of the campaign the 17 year old striker is definitly a prommising Striker for many World Cups to Come for the Moose and Moose fans alike TEamed up With Negeuanne makes for the one two combo that the moose have needed for a long time.Now with all that said Larionov looked horrendous so much to the point that after Tessans 5th goal he was subbstituted for Steve Weiland whose only action in International play came against Marceau in the Simtropolis Cup where he posted a shutout. He would only face a few chances but looked solid.More than likely Weiland will get the next start.The poor play by Rorysville leads to some serious questions about Coach Merriles performance.
"We'll Give Weiland a shot against the Lord of Hosts and we'll re evaluate the situation in net after that I'll take it one game at a time Larionov has performed well but I feel a change could be needed I'm also looking at making a few lineup changes as well."--Coach Merriles


Rorysville Scoring Leaders
A.Negeuanne-6
P.Guard-5
J.Pérez-2
M.Millens-2
A.Lenevue-1
M.Schweitzer-1
A.Trefelov-1

---Group 9---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Squornshelous 8 7 0 1 24-11 +13 21
[2] Spaam 8 6 2 0 27-13 +14 20
[3] Tessan 8 5 2 1 28-14 +14 17
4- The Archregimancy 8 4 4 0 24-12 +12 16
5- Wentland 8 3 2 3 16-17 -1 11
6- Rorysville 8 3 1 4 18-17 +1 10
7- Iansisle 8 2 1 5 15-18 -3 7
8- Funnia Lan 8 2 1 5 14-29 -15 7
9- Tocapa 8 1 1 6 14-25 -11 4
10- Lord of Hosts 8 0 0 8 7-31 -24 0


Moose Schedule
MD01 v Squornshelous L 3-2
MD02 v The Archregimancy L 3-1
MD03 v Funnia Lan W 5-1
MD04 v Tocapa W 3-1
MD05 @ Spaam L 3-2
MD06 v Iansisle W 3-0
MD07 @ Wentland D 1-1
MD08 @ Tessan L 5-1
MD09 v Lord of Hosts
MD10 @ Squornshelous
MD11 @ The Archregimancy
MD12 @ Funnia Lan
MD13 @ Tocapa
MD14 v Spaam
MD15 @ Iansisle
MD16 v Wentland
MD17 v Tessan
MD18 @ Lord of Hosts

THE MONASTIC TIMES

IRRESISTIBLE FORCE MEETS IMMOVEABLE OBJECT
Draw Inevitable Result After Controversial Second Half

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The last two unbeaten teams in Group 9 clashed in Artenis National Football Stadium last night only to come away as still the last two unbeaten teams in Group 9 as Spaam and the Archregimancy played to a 2-2 draw in what was possibly the first ever competitive meeting between the two teams.

Both teams entered the match desperate for a win that would solidify their place in the group's top three, and it was clear from the very beginning that the home fans had been doing their research as they consistently inserted the filioque into the Nicene-Constantinopolan Creed that serves as the abbreviated national anthem for Archregimancy away matches. The sound of tens of thousands of Waffle supporters chanting "...who proceedeth from the Father and the son..." during the Creed seemed to unbalance the visitors, and home vice-captain Trevalyan showed why he's the Waffles' leading scorer with a fine 15th minute strike past our anonymous goalkeeper.

An experienced Archregimancy side were back in the match in the 19th minute, when the anonymous visiting number 8 dispossessed Tonkin in an uncharacteristic error for the home captain, and slotted the ball past the diving Arthur.

The rest of the first half was a thrilling affair as Waffle and monk showed the spectators what free-flowing, open, technical football is all about. The home supporters were nonetheless shocked into silence when the anonymous visiting number 11 sent a speculative long range shot from near the half way line that caught Arthur out of position and bounced down over the goal line after first hitting the crossbar. Halftime, and the Archregimancy were in control.

The second half had a somewhat different character, and Coach Fr. Polycarp the Venerable and Monastic Football Association officials are said to be disquieted by events in the second 45 minutes. "We're not quite sure what Pengelly said to her squad, but Spaam's second half tactics seem, well, somewhat unorthodox. With a small 'o'" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Said tactics largely seemed to consist of Retallack, Maddaford, and Perrin, whom our less wordly readers should be made aware are Spaam's three female starters - yes, female footballers.... what has the world come to - engaging in highly inappropriate behaviour by occasionally stroking the beards of our anonymous XI and whispering what have been characterised as 'sweet nothings' into the Godly ears of our monks.

In addition to this disgraceful behaviour, the Waffles bench started calling out random monastic names from the sidelines in an attempt to see if any visiting player would react, therefore allowing the home squad to work out the identities of the visiting players. Only with the greatest of difficulty was discipline maintained in the face of this provocation, but not before two players were substituted after running to the sideline after Pengally was heard to call out 'Prayer time, Fr. Nicholas'.

Given the second half distractions, it is perhaps surprising that our brave lads held Spaam to a single second half goal, with Menadue levelling the scores in the 75th minute.

The match ended 2-2, and it is with a heavy heart that I must report that the referee is unlikely to allow an appeal over the result as he is apparently of the belief that "Spaam did nothing outside the laws of football". Investigations are underway to find out if said match official is a Catholic, atheist, freemason or Pentacostalist.

Cuation Depose the Kings

Third and fourth played each other but in the end, Cuation retains their qualification place with a solid performance and ability to counter. Had Rual used his pace rather then walked around or sub Keane had a better first touch, it could have been a bigger gap between the teams.

In the end, only four real chances where created by either side, the Mushroom strikers failing to break down a tough defence while the final ball was often lacking for Cuation. Maybe the Mushrooms should hire a human to put up front for high balls?

It was the away side that got the first chance in the 33rd minute, a fine passing move ending up with the captain Mackey DeBullie creating space for himself on the right. Perhaps he was a little greedy to try the shot rather then a cross but it wasn't far from being a goal, flying over Jude but also over the bar.

The goal kick was taken quickly and found Downing in oceans of space out on the left. Advancing slowly, he allowed his team mates to get forward, including the overlapping Butcher before a cross to the near post saw Lu Fei escape his marker A.J Jefferson and glancing it inside the near post.

Rual Mendiz was completely off the pace so it wasn't too big a surprise to see him replaced at half time by Pual Keane. His replacement showed a lot more energy but couldn't seem to trap the ball, often allowing Puka Dbrees to get in a tackle.

It didn't matter for in the 60th minute, Cuation made the game safe when Lewish stole the ball from Juago Billyong and raced down the middle with no challenge. From 30 yards out, he hit the ball with power and pace but Stan Jumper should have done better then allow it to beat him with such ease.

The Mushrooms had one chance in the 70th minute that, had it gone in, might have allowed them to come back into the game. A scramble outside the area for the ball saw Fallen accidentally poke it behind the back line, Awah Beverly Oasis got to it first. With Jude racing out, she seemed to lose her nerve, firing wide of the left post from a good position. Heads went down for the away team and they never looked like they could get a consolation goal.

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing coverage of the 31st World Cup qualifying stage. Today Tynelia bounced back from their loss to Rejistania and managed to get their first road win against Pablicosta with a strong 3-0 win. In other action Schiavonia ended the unbeaten run of the gnomes of Az-cz with a 4-2 win that Dana didn’t pick right I have to add making this two in a row. Unfortunately for the gnomes, their first loss dropped them to fifth as the Green Wombats beat Dance 2 Revolution 2-0 to let both them and us leapfrog over the gnomes. Rejistania moved into second after a surprisingly tough 2-1 win against the Algal States and Sel Appa surprised Nebuleux with a 3-2 win. I’m Mike McPhee with Dana Lee and this is the postgame show.So is this a sign of things to come for us out there today Dana?”

“I can’t really say at this point Mike. Yes it was a win on the road. But this was against a team we should get six points off of. A bigger challenge to see how we do on the road will be when we dace D2R and Az-cz back to back to start off the second half. And the Wombats match is still a huge one for us as they lead us by a point with our lead on the Az-cz being of all things because we scored more goals than they have.”

“Still it was good to see the offense going well after sputtering the past few matches Dana. Alan MacDougal started the scoring in minute 22 and was followed by Bill Jakes at the 35th minute. Then Greg Samson finished the scoring in minute 63 with his second goal of the tournament. Tom Gordman held the fort and shut down the Pablicosta attack. So Coach Billington got the win and rested his veterans at the same time.”

“Yes it will be interesting to watch as only Tal Li and Jay Masterson are still around from the team that was knocked out of the BoF by the Green Wombats in the quarterfinals. While the team has had some successes since the single elimination loss still haunts these two as they felt at the time they could have won it all if not for that surprise loss.”

“Well let’s see what Coach Billington has to say about that as he joins us via satellite. Hello Coach and good to see the team back on the winning track again.”

<Billington appears on split screen>

“Hello Mike and Dana. Yes we won today and got to rest some people in the process but we still need to find some consistency. We’ve yet to go more than two matches without a loss and that only happened once. Playing .500 ball isn’t going to get us into the World Cup. We need to find some momentum.”

“So do you think coming back home against the Wombats will help get the team into a groove before going on the road for the next four matches?”

“Well it’s always nice to be at home Mike. And it helps facing a familiar opponent like the Green Wombats. This will be a tough match as they are the team ranked right behind us in the seedings and have played very well so far. And Dana, you seem to have forgotten that I was also on that BoF team the Wombats knocked out and yes I think we would have at least made it to the finals if not for that surprise/ Coach O’Meara tried changing our scheme for that match to keep up with their offense and it left things wide open defensively and they took advantage. That’s one reason why I’m not going to adjust the team’s style of play for anyone even if it worked for the gnomes against us.”

“You’re right Coach I had forgotten that. But how do you feel about the team’s first half so far?”
“If we win this one Dana, depending on goal differential we’ll be in either third or fourth rounding the bend and a win out of second. Considering we had three losses this half that’s not too bad a spot to be in. If we lose though we’ll have our work cut out with so many road matches in the second half. So this is a vital game for us. Of course the next two against D2R and the gnomes are in the same category. Pretty much we can’t afford to relax these next few matches. I said before we need to sweep these next four to have a strong chance of moving on. We got the first one and now we have to try for the next one.”

“OK Coach, good points but we’re out of time right now. Enjoy the trip home and we look forward to hearing from you after what we hope is another win.”

“Thanks Mike.”

<Billington vanishes off the screen>

“OK then Dana what do you think?”

“I think he has the right idea that this is a very important stretch for the team. A few losses against the teams directly ahead and behind us will seriously hurt our chances of catching up. If we had a lead we could afford a loss but at this point even a draw threatens to drop the team back spots. I do think D2R might ironically be the easiest match of the next three. Despite being higher ranked, D2R has been even more inconsistent than we have been but they will also have the revenge factor in play after we beat them 3-0 on the opening day of group play.On the other hand if they lose to Az-cz this next match they’ll be 8 back of qualifying going into the second half which would make our match a must win for them. So even that match will be a very tough one.”

“Now that you’ve lost your magic touch with Schiavonia’s scores what do you think about the next set of matches?”

“Well Mike, you know I like going with the home team in close matchups but the Wombats have actually outplayed us on both sides of the ball. Granted 8 of Tynelia’s 11 goals were scored by the top two seeds but the Wombats have only allowed 8 to everyone. I think this one will be too close to call and end up appropriately with a 2-2 draw. As I said before Az-cz takes on Dance 2 Revolution in a match many Tynelians will be keeping track of. If you had asked me on day 1 I would have said D2R would take this easily but instead it’s the gnomes who are playing like a #3 seed. I think the trend will continue and Az-cz wins 2-1. Rejistania takes on Sel Appa who just pulled off their first upset of group play. However it won’t happen again this time. 3-1 in favor of Rejistania. In the fight for the Wooden Spoon the Algal States take on Pablicosta with two points combined between them. Neither team can score but Pablicosta’s defense is almost non-existant. So I guess I’ll go with the Algal States to double their production with a 2-1 win. And finally my Schiavonian fans will watch their team go up against Nebuleux. Nebuleux is fairly sound defensively but averages less than a goal a match. With that in mind I see Schiavonia shutting them down 4-0 and cruise into the second half still unblemished, which only Casari and Commerce Heights can match at this point. The way things are going I think Schiavonia will clinch their WC spot around MD14.”

“Um Dana, they play us on MD14.”

“Yes I know Mike, but they can still clinch if other teams lose or maybe we hold them to a draw or something. And I did say ‘around’ not ‘AT’ MD 14”

“OK fine, I can see the Schiavonian phone lines heating up as we speak. But first a very important programming note. As everyone takes some time off between the first and second halves of group play Tynelian Soccer Weekly won’t be one of them. Our next show, immediately following Tynelia v. Green Wombats, will be an extended hour long program where we look at the entire first half in every group and see how the rest of the world is doing. And in honor of this show Dana and I will be handing out our own midway awards. Some people would like to get and others they probably won’t.”

“That’s right Mike, I’ll be handing out the ‘Who the Quak are these guys?’ award. This award, named after Quakmybush’s shocking run from an unranked team into the World Cup itself on their first try. Of course Tynelian fans remember that well as we were in that group when it happened. Anyway this award will be counted down from the five teams who have the least business hanging around the top part of the leaderboard based on their rankings pre-Cup.”

“That’s right Dana, see who our TSW staff feels is playing way over their heads along with commentary as to the hows and whys they are doing it and if they have what it takes to maintain their pace. As for me I’ll be handing out the ‘What happened to…?’ award where we will look at the high ranked teams who should be fighting for a qualifying spot but are hiding near the bottom on the pack instead. And insight as to whether or not they can recover in the second half.

“So there you have it. Extended TSW coverage following an old rivalry rekindled as Tynelia and the Wombats go at it once again. Who will win, or lose depending on your point of view, the newly christened awards on our next show. Will Starblaydia make it for actually losing a match in group play? Will Qazox appear just because we like picking on them? Tune in and find out for yourselves. Until then this is Mike McPhee for Dana Lee and Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

“Rejoice Majesty, the village of Rory was no match for your champions! 5 to 1 we triumphed!” the herald announced happily as King John IV sat at dinner with his family.

“See father I told you they would recover.” Crown Prince John replied as the King flashed a rare smile.

“Yes, yes nevermind that. Who bested the foe?” the king demanded.

“Well sire, it seems word of your demand reached Miller Wallace and he scored 4 goals to atone for his failure last match.” The herald answered. “Sir Boros added the last.”

“Ah it is good to see a commoner who obeys his kings wishes and atones for his misdeeds against his liege. Too bad all the riff raff were not like this Miller Walters.”

“Wallace father.”

“Yes that’s what I said,” the king countered testily. “How many times is this now that he has bested the foe’s efforts?”

“16 goals father.” The Crown Prince supplied. “Of course we’re not at the halfway point yet.”

“When can I play father?” asked Princess Donna now 11. “I wanna play like John and Jeffy did.”

“Hah you can’t play soccer pipsqueak.” Prince Donald jeered with the wisdom of a 13 year old “you’re a girl!”
“Other places let girls play pimpleface!” Donna retored as her acned brother flushed “When is it my turn father?”

“My dear,” the king tried to soothe his daughter surprised her interest was still high. “The women of the other places are all nasty women, that;s why they run around wearing almost no clothes like that. A good princess should stay home and worry about her needlework.”

“But that’s BOOOORING papa. I do better than all the pages when we play.” The princess replied only realizing her slip after as her father’s face grew red.

“YOU PLAY THIS SPORT WITH THE PAGES!” the king boomed. “THAT WILL STOP! WHO ARE THESE PAGES I WILL TEACH THEM TO LEAD MY CHILD ASTRAY!”

Seldom ever facing her father’s rage directed at her the princess’ lower lip trembled as her eyes teared up and then suddenly she bolted out of her chair and ran sobbing from the room. Prince Donald started snickering until his father turned his glare on him.

“DID YOU KNOW OF THIS BOY?” the king demanded.

“No father she was always sneaking off but I didn’t pay any attention. She’s just a girl and an ugly one too.” He answered thinking to score points off his sibling as their father finally turned his wrath on her.

“But you noticed Lady Minerva when she was talking to Donna didn’t you?” added Princess Jenniver, the king’s oldest daughter at 18 and herself considered on of the beauties in the kingdom, as she referred to the 15 year old companion of the Princesses and object of Donald’s first crush.

Blushing furiously Donald was spared further embarrassment as the king thundered.

“Enough all of you! We could be at war any minute now, my baby daughter is in danger of turning into a loose woman, my pages are betraying me and you prattle on about house gossip. All of you go. I have a meeting with the generals in a half hour I must prepare for. They think they have come up with an idea to stop the Spaamian dragon beasts.”

“Airplanes father.” The crown prince corrected idly as his father stormed off himself rather than stay at the table with his children. Maybe Beth has some ideas, father is really losing it now. He thought to himself wondering what his new wife would make of this.

Ricky: Hey it's THE FOOTBALL LIFE again, I'm Ricky Pointy Stick - the cyclist
Dazza: And I'm Dazza Dallas, the Jeruselem team captain who isn't playing because the doc said so.

Dazza: You know what, Group 7 is nightmare! We have 2nd to 6th - all within 2 points of each other. Jeruselem is only 4 points ahead of 2nd. And the shock is - Ariddia are having trouble.
Ricky: Yes, it looks scary. Jeruselem are the only team who look assured of some security but the other teams are snapping on heels like sharks!

Dazza: Kericia played us and almost beat us but we escaped with a draw. 2 ALL was the final result and Kericia cost us two points but Kericia earned one point.
Ricky: The team didn't look like it's usual self - maybe you are needed on the field Dazza?

Dazza: Yeah, but I have to follow orders and not train or play.
Ricky: Two dropped points for Jeruselem and Kericia hang on to 5th.

Dazza: My god, Ariddia lost! A shock the system. Magnus Valerius dumped Ariddia THREE TWO and claimed 2nd spot. Magnus Valerius played like champs while Ariddia seems jaded and disinterested, not good. A great game but the Magnus Valerius are stepping in style - and only we are ahead.
Ricky: Well, Magnus Valerius could be dark horse of this group or one of many horsies. Speaking of horsing around - what were doing with that camera.

Dazza: Secret squirrel stuff! Actually dirty Dazza stuff.
Ricky: I'm just leave that topic alone - this is family programme (smiles)

Dazza: Chicanada just beat Cyredel ONE NIL. Lucky kinda win indeed but 3 points is the gold pot
Ricky: Good effort by the Cyredel team not to get hammered into the ground.

Dazza: Geisenfried jumped into the top 3 with a hammering of The Macabees FOUR ONE. This Geisenfried is a big threat indeed - they can win big but their losses are hurting. Magnus Valerius only have two losses compared to the Geisenfried 3.
Ricky: Oh yes, when they are hot - they are hot and then when they are not - they lose. Jeruselem can play like crap and still draw.

Dazza: Montegrande met fellow strugglers Tryanny, and drew so no one benefitted. They both stay bottom of the table below The Macabees.
Ricky: I was expecting a draw, as you do when these kind of team play. No motivation means no will to win.

Dazza: The table! Jeruselem are still on top but we have bunch of teams on 14 to 16 points. 2nd to 6th are close as can be.
Ricky: Not much between these teams at all. Same amount of losses and wins - so it's hotting up like Dazza.

Dazza: Hey, you don't have to say that. Kinda get me a little to excited.
Ricky: The viewers like a little excitement from their favourite girly.

Dazza: Browning points to Ricky. I like it - the attention that is.
Ricky: No tickling today - maybe later.

Dazza: Magnus Valerius are 2nd and Geisenfried grabbed 3rd but this is not secure. We have Chicanada on the same points as Geisenfried in 4th, and then Kericia and Arriddia are just a point behind. So for these teams - the difference between making the finals is the razor edge. One bad loss, a draw when they should have won or a win can make difference. Ariddia need to lift but as the others block the way. It must steamroll it's way back to glory.
Ricky: Chicanada need to score more goals - yes good defense but with 4 teams scoring twenty over goals so far, it's good enough to score 14. Jeruselem has leaked only 6 goals.

Dazza: GO LIONS. People support our Lions! Nedalia beat some zombies from Reanimated States TWO ONE to move to 3rd but are way behind 3rd place. Folks cheer them on because of those 3 losses, they need to get going. Oh, Bedistan won again.
Ricky: Get your free Nedalia support kit from the JGN media outlet including a cuddly female Lion toy called err, Dazza.

Dazza: Dazza?
Ricky: Yeah, the Lioness was named Dazza. One for kiddies to play with. Cuddle Dazza. Sounds good!

Dazza: (giggles) Socialist Romanistan tried but got smashed by Milchama but well that's expected. Only 0-4 and not 0-8 at least.
Ricky: Now it's this girl cuddly (points at Dazza)

Dazza: Sorry Ricky, one person can cuddle me now, but I can make exceptions.
Ricky: Oh that Dazza toy is pink too.

Dazza: YAP YAP. Hey - here's one for you Ricky. Some guys want to know what's your secret to picking up chicky babes.
Ricky: First thing - look good and be healthy. No ones wants to date sick people or people who don't make an effort to look good when needed. The key is ADAPT - some girls like a slow approach while others like their man to be decisive. Esch girl is different so you must work out what she wants and you give it to her. For example, if I was trying to get Dazza interested - she's an attention whore so give her attention. She's also a touchy feely person so a little physical contact like cuddling might help.

Dazza: You're the man Ricky! That's it from me and Ricky. Stay tuned for another episode of Dazza does someplace.

Group 2:
Bedistan [1] Errinundera [0]
Nedalia [2] Reanimated States [1]

Group 7:
Magnus Valerius [3] Ariddia [2]
Chicanada [1] Cyredel [0]
The Macabees [1] Geisenfried [4]
Jeruselem [2] Kericia [2]
Tryanny [1] Montegrande [1]

Group 8:
Milchama [4] Socialist Romanistan [0]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Jeruselem 8 6 2 0 23-6 +17 20
[2] Magnus Valerius 8 5 1 2 16-14 +2 16
[3] Geisenfried 8 5 0 3 23-13 +10 15
4- Chicanada 8 5 0 3 14-9 +5 15
5- Kericia 8 4 2 2 25-13 +12 14
6- Ariddia 8 4 2 2 24-14 +10 14
7- The Macabees 8 3 0 5 10-25 -15 9
8- Montegrande 8 1 3 4 9-14 -5 6
9- Tryanny 8 1 2 5 5-19 -14 5
10- Cyredel 8 0 0 8 6-28 -22 0

Az-cz Scroll
Schiavonia
Em-Nm

Game goes in rounds, Az-cz only wins the middle ones.

Up against the top team in the group, a side that is quickly putting the top spot out of reach for everyone, Az-cz had some good moments, but in the end didn't have enough to prevent a 4-2 loss to Schiavonia.

Behind the home crowd Schiavonia came out quickly and put the Gnomes in a whole early. Colin Chester displayed why he is quickly climbing the list of Schiavone strikers. First, four minutes in, he made a beautiful individual run and then fired a beautiful missile from 25 yards out. He then soon made an incredible play on a free kick from the half to sneak into the box and put the Gnomes in a 2-0 hole after just 8 minutes had gone by.

Despite that quick deficit the Pink & Green eventually stabilized. Both sides went back and forth. Zax-Im came the closest for Az-cz with a nice shot just missing the outside of the post. Chester nearly finished off his hat trick in the first half when Gn-Lg made a beautiful punch save to stop a cross to Chester who had gotten wide open.

At half time Khim tinkered with the lineup going to a radical 4-3-3. He brought off Levesque and Hubertino and brought on Uz-Gz and EE-Or. Khim once again proved his tactical knowledge as this 4-3-3 allowed the Gnomes to equalize the goal.

The gnomes pulled the first one back in the 51st minute. Zax-Im made a beautiful relay to Pizelkaxrovsky who found Uz-Gz to cut the deficit in half. 11 minutes later the game was back square after Kn-Dg snuck forward and set up EE-Or for a beautiful goal, as the youngster earned his first goal for the full squad.

While the 4-3-3 allowed the Gnomes to get their attack going, it was clear that it was also wearing them down. Zax-Im looked especially tired, so eventually Khim used his third sub in the 74th minute to bring on Lo-Ro. However Lo-Ro and Kn-Dg as his two defensive midfielders was just not enough to stop the Schiavonia attack.

However it must be pointed out that their third goal of the game should have been disallowed. Seamus Bradley clearly fouled Ns-Ta as he was turning to go up field and the Gnomes should have recieved the ball. However play was allowed to continue and with Bradley through clean on goal there was nothing Gn-Lg could do to stop him to put Schiavonia back on top with just 8 minutes of regular play remaining.

Now back down a goal Az-cz really tried to push forwards for the equalizer. However they were left even more vulnerable at the back and Chester slipped through for his third goal of the game and put the game on ice.

Az-cz finally comes back home to play host to D2R. After having fallen to fifth they must find a way to earn a positive result against the Cup of Harmony title holders. That game will be played in Slimes Stadium. As for Schiavonia they have just Nebuleux remaining between them and a perfect first half.

Stats
Score Az-cz 2 Schiavonia 4
Scorers 51 Uz-Gz 62 EE-Or
Possession Az-cz 45% Schiavonia 55%
Shots Az-cz 11 Schiavonia 17
Corners Az-cz 1 Schiavonia 3

Don't Slip On Eseck
Starblaydia go four points clear

Eseck have been performing beyond all expectations so far and, barring a crazy foolish dreamworld where they might win 6-1 over the best team in the world, Starblaydia should have ran out easy winners over the team that lie one-hundred and thirty places below them in the rankings, yet in the top-three of Group One so far.

Starblaydia, with their number-one backline, their second-string midfield and a half-and-half forward line, were obviously expected to beat the competition, but without the usual dominance in midfield, they were overrun for a lot of the match by neat interplay from the Eseck side. Talenii Karo spent most of the afternoon chasing around after Orion and Azhka until Carlos dos Santos was brought on to assist her and give some much-neeeded bite to the Starblaydi midfield.

Young Stracinho gave Starblaydia the lead after 21 minutes with a header, after a through-ball from Christian Averette took a skyward turn from Raf Ramiquem's attempted clearance, leaving the confident young striker to nod the ball past the onrushing Adrich Richards. Eseck, however, managed to equalise through R'Al Visler. The Dinamo Layor midfielder was the third player to make an attempt on the Starblaydi net in quick succession, after first Mas Sarus was denied by Mendez, then Kivo Zojen hit the post. Finally Visler was there to slot the ball into an empty net for 1-1.

Starblaydia stuggled to get a grip on the game up until they flooded the midfield to bring the ball back into their posession. Finally, eventually, teeth-gnashingly and hair-pullingly later, Starblaydia equalised with the last kick of the game. Three minutes of injury time signalled by the referee had been generous on Starblaydia, at best, and they utilised all one-hundred and eighty seconds of it fruitfully. Luckilly Rajko Dakic and his glittering feet were there to save the day for Starblaydia with his third goal in the Qualifiers so far.

With just one game left before the customary midway break in Qualifying, Starblaydia are four points ahead of both Qazox and Eseck, who sit above Quakmybush and - perhaps most shockingly - the under-performing Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Quakmybush are up next for Starblaydia, coming to visit the best team in the world on MD9 before hosting them on the other side of Atlantian Oceania for the final Matchday of Qualifying.

Final Score:
Eseck 1 - 2 Starblaydia
(Visler 48) - (Stracinho 21, Dakic 90+3)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/magnus_valerius.png Magnus Valerius 3-2 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

PDSRA loses four ranks with one goal

“I have no comment to make,” was team captain Hanifah Kyaw’s uncharacteristic statement as she left the stadium after the PDSRA’s close but disastrous away loss against Magnus Valerius. The Rouge-et-Noirs’ performance has become all but unpredictable, as they excell then succumb to major slip-ups turn in turn.

It is revealing of the closeness within Group 7 that conceding a single goal too many has caused Ariddia to tumble down from the second to – shockingly – the sixth place in the Group. What should have been a mildly challenging encounter turned into a fiasco, as a rather disorganised Ariddian side let in a humbling three goals while scoring only two. Defender Ke Sho, brought in towards the end, showed exemplary skill, but by then it was too late. Goals by Nam Hyok-Jun and Nathalie Simon were simply not enough.

Team coach Evgheny Melenciuc has refused to make any permanent changes to his starting eleven.

“They’ve all earned their spot, because they’re among the best players in the country,” he insisted. “I have full confidence in each of them, and they will need the confidence and support of all Ariddians if they are to achieve anything in this Cup.”

Appeal made to all countries in Group 1

Meanwhile, the Ariddian Football Association has expressed its “utmost condemnation” and “utter disgust” of the human sacrifices practiced in Eseck in an attempt to gain the support of gods for the nation’s football team.

“We call upon all countries to immediately boycott all remaining matches against Eseck,” AFA President Anna Teals said. “That is to say we urge the authorities of Spindomia, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, Starblaydia, Qazox, Quakmybush, Assegai Developments, Rordia and Nikea to refuse to play any further match against Eseck until this abominable practice ceases. Ariddia will henceforth refuse entry to any team from any country which continues to play against the team from Eseck. We also call upon individual players within those nations to refuse to play if their football federation does not. The ball you kick is soaked in human blood.”

It was noted that the AFA did not include Raging Penguins in its list, probably because the football team of Raging Penguins are already banned from entering Ariddia, and have been for the past eight years. Ariddia demanded that the Raging Penguins players be put on trial for the murder of a referee, and had repeatedly requested that the team be arrested and extradited to Anastasiania for trial.

Asked whether Ariddia would truly sever all sports contacts with countries such as ASMV and Starblaydia if the latter do not react to the human sacrifices in Eseck, Anna Teals answered simply:

“Yes. That’s what I’ve just said. But I have no reason to think it would come to that.”

Eseck’s next match is due to take place in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega.

Cuation Pull Away With Draw

An away match against NMS and a home game against Tadjikistan, it was hoped that we would avoid getting heavily beaten against two teams so far above us. From those two games, we have four points from a possible six, throw in picking up four wins, a draw and a loss against the smaller teams, things are looking good.

Cuation set out to defend and hit Tadjikistan on the break while the away side went forward to get the win that the press expected of them. Early on, Jude Tanner had to beat away one powerful drive after Scott had been caught out of position.

Cuation tightened up after that, the game was not to be a classic by any means but then, few Cuation games are. Tadjikistan had the possession but struggled to break Cuation down with Irwin organising the back line well.

By half time, it would have been unfair on Tadjikistan for it to be 0-0 so imagine how unfair it was when one goal behind. Jude had claimed a cross then kicked it up field for Lu Fei to chase to the edge of the penalty box. With a perfect knock back, the tall striker set it down for Fallen to send in a low drive that eluded the keeper.

In the second half, Cuation just sat back and settled for time wasting when they got forward. This did cost them in the 70th minute, Cole taking too long on a throw and was unsettled by the booking he got. The throw in was poor and with the number 7 in loads of space, he laid the ball low across the box where Number 8 got a touch, diverting the ball beyond Jude.

Despite having lost the lead, the players continued going for a draw and this time where able to hang on though Cheese did brilliantly to header one deflected cross off the line with Tanner wrong footed.

Anastasianian World Cup Hopes Blow Away
2-4 Drought in Okielahoma

After a decent run in World Cup football, including an impressive 2-0-win over the 11-man wall that is System Karela, Anastasiania were brought down to earth very firmly with a 4-2 defeat in Okielahoma in an entertaining, but ultimately frustrating game for Anastasiania.

Especially frustrating as they actually opened the scoring. Mika Ollikainen kept up the run he's had all tournament, and played an exquisite pass through to Juha Salo, who placed it just at the foot of the far post for 1-0. However, Okielahoma took over from there, with headers from Harris and Wilson being cleared off the line before Luke Morris pushed the equaliser over the line after chaos reigned around an indecisive Kivimäki.

More was to come before half-time, as Drew Harris and Mike Wilson ran circles around the Anastasianian defence. At times, they looked like cones on a training field - when they did win the ball, however, they played good, solid passing football. Some strength in the back four would perhaps have helped, but instead, Anastasiania were 1-3 down at half time after goals from a Wilson long strike and Brandon Boatwright breaking through on the counter attack.

The game was essentially over by then, as Okielahoma were content with rolling the ball about in the second half. Anastasiania still lacked aggression, even when Keith Harrison and Mika Kuusisto came on in the second half, though Kuusisto bashed in a goal from close range in the 72nd minute. The fire of hope was quickly put out by substitute Alex Severson's strike, however.

With eight games played, Anastasiania are still five games adrift of Northern Caesarea, after the latter fell 1-2 to unbeaten Casari. Okielahoma have drawn level with our lads following their win, however, and with Anastasiania hosting The Islands of Qutar tomorrow, it could well come to pass that the side falls into fifth place.

Jo-El: Well so ends are unbeaten streak. Still to earn points in our first seven matches was quite nice.

Lur-Mn: Yes and no. We need to stop kidding ourselves about ties. They're basically losses. There's only two teams in the group where ties can seen as pushing us towards qualification, Rejistania and Schiavonia.

Jo-El: So what are you saying?

Lur-Mn: Just that the seven game unbeaten streak isn't that big of a deal. We're playing well. We've earned 2 wins and 2 draws against teams ranked ahead of us. So there's definitely a decent possibility of moving up. But that opening flurry has gotten everyone thinking about qualification. And we're not there yet.

Jo-El: Ok. Talk us through today's match?

Lur-Mn: Well Schiavonia was clearly the better team, but the scoreline doesn't give us enough credit. We easily could have walked out of there with a point. But three points was never really a possibility and we didn't do enough to come away with one.

Jo-El: Ok. What are the things that were best for Az-cz today?

Lur-Mn: Well clearly Khim's mind is a huge attribute. I don't even know if the players were ready for the 4-3-3 he used. I certainly wasn't expecting it. Then there's the mental fortitude we showed for basically the first time today. We were down 2-0 after 8 minutes and easily could have turtled up, but we fought and carried a tie score through the 80th minute mark.

Jo-El: And the disappointments?

Lur-Mn: Well. Anytime you give up four goals it hurts. And the slow start. Take away those first ten minutes and we could easily claim to have been the better side. But in this game I'd say less about what we did right and more about giving credit to Colin Chester. He was magnificent today. There main threat was supposed to be Jermaine Edwards, but as a player who tries to score through speed he met his match today. But Chester just has great moves. Athletically he's not a match to Edwards, but against us the way to win is not through athletics and Chester realized it and took advantage. Hats off to him.

Jo-El: What were your thoughts on the rest of the groups matches today?

Lur-Mn: Well the clearly least suprising was Tynelia rolling through Pablicosta. Rejistania won, but it was much closer than expected against Algal States. Although I was correct in thinking that Sel Appa would do well against Nebuleux, I certainly wasn't thinking 3-0. And Green Wombats 2 D2R 0 is just shocking. More and more I fear that D2R is going to be the doom of us. I think they'll let everyone but us earn points off them and that'll will hurt.

Jo-El: So does that mean you think they'll beat us?

Lur-Mn: I think so. I think we'll actually be hurt by playing at home. I think there will be too much emotion involved and D2R will be able to capitalize. I expect them to beat us 2-1.

Jo-El: And predictions for the rest of the group?

Lur-Mn: Well despite their win today, I'm not yet convinced by Green Wombat. Tynelia looks more and more like they're going to be the third qualifier. I think they win more easily than expect 3-1. I think Rejistania and Sel Appa continue their patterns from today, with Rejistania playing down and Sel Appa playing up, but in the end I still think that just means a 2-1 Rejistania win. Expect Schiavonia to continue to roll 4-0 over Nebuleux. And as for the other match, I think Pablicosta wins. Why? I think Algal States is unstable. They can play up like they have against us or Rejistania, but Pablicosta plays more like they should. I expect Algal States to be overconfident after the game against Rejistania and mess up losing 1-0.

Jo-El: So how does that shape up the table?

Lur-Mn: Well if things go as predicted, Schiavonia will finish the first half perfect with 27 points, a whopping plus 29 goal differential and a ticket to Vilita or The Lowland Clans all but booked. Rejistania would remain in second with 20 and Tynelia would be holding down the final qualification spot at the half way point on 18. Green Wombat would be fourth on 16, with us a point back on 15. Dance 2 Revolution would be the last team with a hope of qualifying sitting on 13. Nebuleux would be next with 9, but just hoping to hold off Sel Appa who would be in 8th with 7 points. Pablicosta would have a three point lead on Algal States to avoid the bottom.

Jo-El: Any word on the health of coach Hawdon?

Lur-Mn: He will be healthy and rejoining the team for the next game, but with limited duties, and there still won't be a post game press conference. If things go as schedule that will be continued following the home match against Tynelia.

Jo-El: Well best wishes to coach Hawdon and here's hoping your prediction is wrong Lur-Mn.

Lur-Mn: I hope so to, but I have to call it as I feel it will happen.

Jo-El: Night everyone.

Lur-Mn: Goodnight.

The Bloco'yce Courier



The Team does...er....Well?


The Team's been beating other teams left and right. The population has adopted Rioteering as a hobby or a passtime, and the government has been overthrown twice by now, with each new regime being forced to re-instate ex-President(five years), ex-King(2 days), ex-First Citizen(1 day), and presently President Phether Tucks(since 7:00 pm yesterday), due to his tenure and extremely tight contract terms.

In other news, it has come to our attention that one of the teams The Team has been playing includes blood sacrifice in their matches, in the hopes that such acts would increase their chances of winning. We have volenteered The Team's two members as offerings to this nations' For'n gods. Eliminating The Team will certainly increase their chance of winning, and our chance of surviving.

In still other news, Locksweed Prison, in northern Raging Penguins had a breakout. Dubious Mobile Yellow Slime, also known as DMYS, and a member of The Team, escaped after a slow, careful and cunningly devised plan to transplant its body, in spore form, from the inside of the prison, to the outside. DMYS was last seen oozing swiftly south, towards Bloco'yce City.

Sooners Pummel Anastasiana 4-2

OSPN

It was a critical victory today at Memorial Field as the Sooners took care of buisness and Anastasiana 4-2, climbing into a tie for fourth place, which the Sooners would win off of tiebreakers.

Juha Salo struck first for Anastasiana, with a strike to the left corner past Molander. Then the Sooners looked to strike back, when Harris and Wilson both missed headers, Morris was there to put it back in in a strike. Harris and Wilson toyed with the ball for nearly 3 minutes straight before hitting Boatwright on a strike for Boatwright's first ever international goal. Dave Wilson scored on a strike from Harris only minutes later, in the 44th minute. So it was 3-1 at halftime and the second half started. Wilson and Harris continued to toy with the ball until they were subbed out. Mika Kuusisto put in Anastasian's 2nd goal, but Alex Severson, enjoying only his second playing time (other match vs Ancient Byzantine) and got his first ever goal with a header off of a corner by Boatwright.

With the Sooners up 4-2 Anastasiana all but quit, and it was a huge victory for the Sooners who moved into a 4th place tie.

Hopefully the Sooners can pull into 4th all alone, as Anastasiana play undefeated Casari, while the Sooners host hapless Ancient Byzantine.

GO SOONERS!

Group 5 Standings:

---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 8 8 0 0 23-8 +15 24
[2] The Islands of Qutar 8 7 0 1 34-9 +25 21
[3] Northern Caesarea 8 6 0 2 19-11 +8 18
4- Anastasiania 8 4 1 3 18-14 +4 13
5- Okielahoma 8 4 1 3 17-15 +2 13
6- The Mice of Miceland 8 3 1 4 13-13 +0 10
7- System Karela 8 2 0 6 5-10 -5 6
8- Vuam and Isma 8 1 3 4 11-19 -8 6
9- Harlesburg 8 1 1 6 8-21 -13 4
10- Ancient Byzantine 8 0 1 7 4-32 -28 1


Scorers:

Final Score:
Eseck 1 - 2 Starblaydia
(Visler 48) - (Stracinho 21, Dakic 90+3)

ESECK TIMES

All Good Things Come To An End So the saying goes and an unbeaten surprise performance by a cofident Esecki side that left many in its group speechless has come to an end after #1 Starblaydia gave them their first defeat of the tournament. The game was an inspiring one young 19 year old R'Al Visler told us that he felt "this lost is not a lost after all we were not playing an average team, we were playing the team that's supposed to win the tournament and for us to lose so valiantly is almost like winning." Visler also said he felt honor to play his child hood hero Donii "When i was little i used to sit around the tv just enjoying Donii's style of play and now to play against Donii is like a dream come true i couldn't wait after the match to ask for Donii's shirt."

Visler honor by King of Eseck The Kasama told the press right after the game that he was moved by Visler's performance in giving the Ligers a chance for victory and even if the team fails to qualify they are already heroes. He also said this is just one lost "There's many victories to come and eventhough we can't play the underdog card we can still play with our heart and take the momentum that has been built and win it all"

Still More Sacrifices Eseck's High Priest schedule more sacrifices to ask the gods for their help we're expecting that god Maradona gives us his hand and help to win this next game.

The Aeropag Tribune—Most of our employees took the week off, how do you expect us to put something here?

Game Day Preview: (21) Capitalizt SLANI vs (5) Krytenia

Here it is, all the facts, figures, and speculation surrounding the over-hyped Capitalizt SLANI–Krytenia match tomorrow.

SLANI current win streak: 8 consecutive wins (3-way tie for longest active), 8 games without loss
Krytenia current win streak: 1 consecutive win, 8 games without loss
(Longest active unbeaten streak: 22 games )

[b]SLANI last loss: SLANI 1–2 Starblaydia (World Cup 30 first round, at Herculean Stadium, Schiavonia)
Krytenia last loss: Krytenia 2–2 Tadjikistan AET [2–3 PKs] (World Cup 30 second round, at Il Parabol, Schiavonia)

SLANI current qualifying win streak: 10 consecutive wins, 25 games without loss (longest active)
Krytenia current qualifying win streak: 1 consecutive win, 22 games without loss (second-longest active)
(Longest active qualifying win streak: 11 games [Schiavonia])

SLANI last qualifying loss: SLANI 1–2 The Lowland Clans (World Cup 29 qualifying matchday 11, at The Lowland Clans)
Krytenia last qualifying loss: Krytenia 0–3 Turori (World Cup 28 qualifying matchday 14, at Turori)

With the fans of both teams hardly even remembering the last time they lost a qualifying game, it seems that a draw would be expected…

SLANI current qualifying record: 8–0–0 33:8 (1st in group, 1st overall)
Krytenia current qualifying record: 7–1–0 26:5 (2nd in group, 4th overall)

…however, with SLANI averaging over four goals a game and Krytenia averaging over three, it seems that any draw would have to be high-scoring. That wouldn’t remind you of anything, would it?

Meetings between teams: 1
Series record: SLANI leads 1–0–0
Match results:
SLANI 5–4 Krytenia (World Cup 26 first round, at Sokojito Überdome, UCS)
Since SLANI has played 410 matches and Krytenia 255, you’d think they might have met more than once. But the nine-goal shootout has been their only meeting—until tomorrow.

Injuries
Krytenia: none known
SLANI: Alejandro Bolúfero (1 week)

Though the team’s staff says he won’t be ready to play for another week, Bolúfero said in an interview, “I feel fine. Probably not good enough to start the match, but should we go down, I’ll be there. I’m no Jenji Y, but I’ll certainly try.”

Media Coverage
Primary coverage: Aeropag Tribune Sports Network
Alternate commentary: ATSN-2
Full coverage of major qualifying matches: ATSN-2π
Statistical analysis: ATSN-F

Spindomian National Telegraph

Spindomia picked up their 3rd win of the World Cup qualifying sectionwith a 2-0 win over Qazox. Salso Eyele and Max Roder picking up the goals from 2 penalties, both of which were caused by Ryan Holmes. He recieved a booking from each and the 1 man advantage allowed Spindomia to relax a little.

Spindomia lie 7th in Group A, 12 points off the qualification places.

---Group 1---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Starblaydia 8 7 0 1 25-7 +18 21
[2] Qazox 8 5 2 1 19-9 +10 17
[3] Eseck 8 5 2 1 13-7 +6 17
4- Quakmybush 8 5 1 2 16-6 +10 16
5- Raging Penguins 8 5 0 3 20-12 +8 15
6- Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 8 4 0 4 16-18 -2 12
7- Spindomia 8 3 0 5 13-18 -5 9
8- Rordia 8 1 1 6 7-21 -14 4
9- Nikea 8 1 0 7 8-18 -10 3
10- Assegai Developments 8 1 0 7 7-28 -21 3

Telegraph Fact of the Day: Spindomia have attempted to qualify for the World Cup 3 times, and each time they have been drawn with the #1 team in the world, Starblaydia, who they almost got a result with last time, when a last minute winner stole it

In other matters, the Spindomian Football Association have ruled out taking the recommendation of Arridia and boycotting matches with Eseck. A spokesman for the SFA said "We feel that, although we strongly disagree with their practices, it should not be brought into football and that it would hurt our countrys reputation to do so."

"I know you were in on it, Arrali." Kyle Reimar said, staring across the locker room at Leir's accomplace.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Arrali said, trying to look innocent.

"Oh, don't you try that with me. Because I'll get you back." Arrali said, tying a shoe. "You have no idea."

Arrali gulped.

"Unless, of course, you help me get her back."

"Oh god."

---=--=---

"Damnit, how do you guys know your way around all these maintence tunnels?" Arrali said, peeking out a cracked open door.

"I think we stole the map once." Reimar said, jumping down some stairs six at a time.

"So that would make the point... what?"

"I dunno. I think the team psychologist said it was an abnormal expression of complex emotions."

"Wha?"

"He thought we were in love."

"Oh." Arrali said, kicking a pipe that ran up the wall of the stairwell. "Where are we going?"

"Actually, I'm just waiting for some kind of inspiration. Pranks are difficult, you know."

"We better to god not have to go all the way back up these steps."

"... no, no. We want this door." Arrali said, peeking out. "Go up to the next flight and go in the locker room. When Nina goes to take a shower after practice, I want you to go into the Men's room and make some kind of noise."

Arrali blinked and looked at Reimar for a second. "You people are nuts." He muttered as he walked away.

---=--=---

The high pitched scream eminating from the Women's bathroom of the locker room was enough to make everyone in the room wince. Hill let out a string of swear words, the names "Kyle" and "Reimar" somewhere in the chain. It was a minute later when Leir stomped out of the shower half dressed.

Looking rather bluer than usual. While she apparently got most of it off, the fact that she had been sprayed head to toe with large quanitites of blue dye was still readily apparent. And the target of her rage was readily apparent as well.

"Michael, I am going to kill you now."

WORLD CUP REWIND

Cast your minds back to when UCS were still known as Commerce Heights. When the Überdome was still in the protective cellophane. When Dave Van Staveren was still alive.

Yes, it's June 2038. The Überdome is packed to the rafters, and surprisingly, the Capitalizts and Aces are to clash for the first time. What ensued was one of the greatest matches in World Cup history. Krytenia raced into a two-nil lead; Glen Head's hat-trick made it three-two at the break. From there the lead switched over and back again, two penalties, a sending-off, and cruelty of cruelties, an own goal to decide the match for the team in what was then green and gold.

Among the people who will be attending the game is Gabriel Kennedy, Krytenia's own hat-trick hero. He will be leading the minute's silence pre-game this evening, as the players remember those who dies after Krytenia's exit just ten days after this classic match.

Whether tonight's game will be quite that exciting, we cannot say. But with both sides in a scoring vein, and both fighting for the top spot in the group, you never know...

The world's press was awaiting Norman Hacker in the conference room - they were not expecting to wait as long as previously and they were not disappointed.

The hacks almost recoiled as the bounding tracksuited figure charged in almost yelling in delight. "We showed 'em! We showed 'em! Funnia Lan? They thought they could beat us? Hah! It's coming together at last. At long last."

The press however was not impressed by Wentland's joint biggest away win. "Norman, how much of a factor was it that you were playing nine men by the end?"

"None at all. We were ahead when their man was sent off. And it was three when the chap was injured. We had 'em covered."

"Some people are saying that the introduction of Carl Hunt and Nick Starkey was crucial..."

"Yes. Look how they controlled the midfield. I was so pleased when Starkey got his goal at the end, he deserved it. See what happens when Crowhurst is not involved?"

"Well, perhaps their role in the reduction of Lan's numbers."

Hacker laughed. "Well, I suppose if Carl had not headed their chap's fist he might have stayed on."

"But what about the rake from Hunt on his achilles? That provoked the retaliation..."

"I did not see that. Hunt's not like that anyhow."

"And Starkey's challenge when they had used their subs?"

"Nick's a hard player, but fair. He might get a bit over-exuberant at times."

"Your team got a negative reaction at the end..."

"Yes, it's not the first time this qualification that we've had crap thrown at us. We can cope. Funny, it's the losers who resort to such things."

"How do you rate qualification chances?"

"Well, if we get an equal shake from the referees, like the excellent Ms Keller today, we should be OK. That's a big if, though. They're keen on screwing us. But there's a way to catch up."

"Don't you think that your team is hardly the most attractive?"

"It's not the bloody women's game, you know. We WON, for slani's sake! Just rejoice! Rejoice!"

"Have you got any words for the injured Funnia Lan players?"

"Yeah. Eat more grapes."

***

Jimi Kool was enjoying his holiday. The remainder of the band were surprised he quit to become a priest of some sort, but he was chilled and enjoying a bit of a pilgrimage to Alasdair I Frosticus and drinking in the strange beliefs there.

He flicked through the channels on his hotel room and saw 33 was dedicated to music. Hey, he thought, Ansel Kolob was popular here, maybe they'll play a track of ours.

The next video they played was oddly familiar, only the lyrics were different. And the band was called the Basileus Chiefs.

"Hey," he thought. "That's one of ours... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10277985#post10277985)"

Three Rivers Times
“Voted ‘Best Crossword Puzzle’”

Raptors can’t score one lousy goal against One Red Dot

ONE RED DOT – Of course, neither could the hosts, allowing the Raptors to come away from the match with another point in the standings following a nil-nil draw.

The match was a defensive struggle from the get-go, neither team able to get the ball out of the midfield area. The first shot of the game came from One Red Dot in the 35th minute, but Liza Kohl was there to make the easy save. Aurendia would threaten during first half injury time, but Matt Sanchez whiffed on the shot, and the scoreless held going into the half. The second half continued in essentially the same fashion, with only three more shots on goal, and no points scored.

With the draw against One Red Dot, the Raptors earned a point, keeping them one point ahead of Becquerelia for fourth place in Group Six. Third place and the last qualification spot are held by Cuation, four points ahead of the Raptors. Next match for the Raptors is a trip to Haraki to face a Hawks team that has been quiet so far this tournament, and currently sits in eighth place.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance



Turorian Football Association president Gisterfred Q. Disterfred has openly supported calls from the Ariddian Football Association regarding the recent actions taken by the Football Association of Eseck. Recently, those in Eseck have been greusomely performing Human Sacrafices to appeal to a mystical soccer being. Usually referred to as Margaret by most nations, it is unclear at the moment the exact details of the deity worshipped by those in Eseck, but it has seemingly been working for them as they sit within the qualification zone currently. The government of Eseck has ordered even more sacrafices ahead of their Matchday 9 encounter, but like Ariddia, Turorian representatives are speaking out, albeit in different ways.

Ariddia has boldly suggested that all countries boycott their remaining matches against the sacrificial side, and singled out Spindomia, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, Starblaydia, Qazox, Quakmybush, Assegai Developments, Rordia and Nikea to carry out the call. However, Disterfred had another idea.


If everyone boycotts the matches, the sacrafices will probably continue. Anytime a match is boycotted, the boycotting team will lose 0-3. That means another win for Eseck. If they win, those idiots will probably think their sacrafices were working, and keep doing them. That's not the way to get the killings to stop. Don't boycott the matches, just win them!

If you beat the living piss out of them, they'll start to realize that the sacrafices aren't doing jack piss to help their football team get on, and hopefully look for another way to appeal to Margaret, like shining their shoes or singing some songs, or something like that.



As for the Turorian's, a makeshift defensive line made an appearances against the Spaamanian Plijous's and performed admirally as the Eels maintained their slim single-point advantage atop the table with the victory. It is rumored that head coach Jualiar Vumaou has sent out some scouts to see if there are any other Turorian Cocoabo's with a sporting touch that might be available for an emergency call up until Matchday 12 when Cocoabo number six returns to action. Until then, however, Cocoabo number seven looks to have been bumped up to a permanent role in the backline since the untimely death of Cocoabo number four at the claw of Cocoabo number one. It is unclear whether Cocoabo number one, who was suspended for the Spaamanian Plijous encounter, will be returning to the squad anytime soon.


http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 3
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/spaamanianplijous.gif Spaamanian Plijous 0




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)
[8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407)

Elven Times
Miserables

The team spirit is low, confidence crushed, and all hopes of qualifying thrashed after their latest match. The Marauders not only were defeated, but also handed their second worse loss ever, falling to Commerce Hieghts five to two last night, and in Capri to boot. The demeanor around the locker room and pratice pitch reflects the sudden snatch of the squad's once enthusiatic spirit.

So what went wrong? The team started off well enough, going undefeated in its' first four match, but then when faced when stiffer compeititon, fell four straight times and to sixth in the group. It's sad indeed that the only reason why the Marauders arn't seventh is simply because they have scored two more goals than the Mystical Unicorns of Dorian and Sonya. What is really shocking is that the squad fell to Demot, whom they have dominated in the past, and then they and went and shocked the group by drawing with the group's top seed, Krytenia. The fall of the Marauders can be blamed on that one loss, it completely stole the team of its' momentum and whatever jive it had going before that match.

Luckily the team gets a nice match against Dj8989 to finish off its' first half run. Dj8989 has suffered far worse than the Marauders this Cup, and their own first, so the squad can at least take comfort in that. If the team pulls out the win, which there is no evidence why it should not, the team will have 11 points from its' first nine matches, and though difficult, still in a place where it could qualify. However the squad would need some help, particularly that the upper squads will beat up on each other and tire themselves out.

Scorers
Kyla Night - 4
Justinian Constant - 3
Zacharius - 2
Tobias Raynor - 2
Rick Cuellar - 1
Harden Swent - 1
Samuel Tatum - 1
Martin St. Louis - 1

Article by Ron Santapa

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

The Trouble with Tribunals

Page 1:
Panel 1:

The entire staff of the MegaCity Tribunal was in the giant meeting room. Everyone was sitting, except the editor-in-chief who was standing up talking. "So, What do we know about these player disappearances, first Peter Hobble and then the others." said the editor-in-chief. "Do I take it that the silence means you have nothing?" Nearly the entire staff where slumping in their chairs with their faces held low not wanting to grab the attention or look from the Boss, however there where two faces that where not. Yes, it was James and Louise. To which supplied "Yes, Boss but we are trying."

Panel 2:

"Trying is not good enough, we need facts." "Our competitors are breathing down our necks and I need a good story on this by tomorrow." The editor-in-chief had slammed down his hand on the desk infront of him that startled everyone. "Also, we need to know how SuperDude is handling this. Louise your in charge of that." "Johnny, I need you to be ready for photo's whenever SuperDude returns."

Panel 3:

"Sports, I want you to do profiles on the players that went missing all 4 of them, and how the teams will be affected by their loss in the upcoming match." ... "Oh,btw, Who are the Bazalopes playing next?" "Bedistan" said a generic sports reporter

Panel 4:

"Good. Make that your most important Sports match, work in Peter's profile in that. Well What are you all waiting for. You know what you have to do. Get to work." stated the Editor-in-chief.

Page 2:
Panel 5:

"So where are we going to start." asked James Smith to Louise as they walked out of the meeting room in the throng of people that also wanted to leave. "Not sure James.We only have the words 'Beware the Ides of March' to go on." replied Louise.

Panel 6:

Both Louise and James where at their respective desks. "So did you see that Anathematic Republic match?" asked James. "Bunch of monster's. The lot of them. So that's a no." replied Louise. "Well, they gave us a scare scoring early in the 1st minute but the Bazalopes came back and evened the score in the 20th an 56th minutes."

Panel 7:

"Well good, I'd hate to see those monsters win. Particularily with that Lion guy leading the team." said Louise, she was typing away at her computer trying to do some research on this "Ides of March" thing. Meanwhile James thought "Of course, Ex-Atheistic Right, they where nuts and had this animal-based codenames. The Golden Lion fits that."

Page 3:
Panel 8:

"Psst, SuperDude." said a really faint voice from outside the panel. The lettering was small and the speech bubble's outline was a broken line. Different to the usual full line. "Down here, James." said the same voice again. James Smith looked around and didn't see anything. "I said down here." said the voice

Panel 9:

This Panel withdrew slightly to see James's desk and on the floor, you could see this little mouse with a little yellow cape. James was looking at the the Mouse. "Yes, it's me, SuperMouse. Don't worry, they can't hear me. I need to talk with you.". James was looking at the mouse. "Go somewhere where we can talk properly and privately. I'll follow you." James nodded his head

Panel 10:

James stood up and streched. "I need to go for a walk, see if I can't get some exercise to jog my thinking along." said James... "Okay, have fun." replied Louise. "Oh, and get me some chinese while you are out. I am starved." stated Louise a-matter-of-factly "Okay. Be back soon."

Panel 11:

James started walking out of the building and into the elevator the mouse was following using desks, chairs and various other things as cover navigating his way to the elevator.

Page 4:
Panels 12-14:

"Hold on." said James as he flew through the access panel in the roof of the elevator through the air and landing on a water tower. In the last Panel James said "So what did you want to tell me and how come you knew I was SuperDude?" These Panels where very small leaving plenty of room on the rest of the page for more panels

Panel 15:

"When you are a Mouse, particularly a SuperMouse, you see things differently and especially more than people think." "About the players. I have managed to find some information that people fitting the players discription and another fairly generic looking person, Medium everything, left Bazalonia on their way to Yihsrael." said the Mouse. "Good, I had just had my own connection to that Area, Yihsrael now occupies the land that Atheistic Right once did."

Panel 16:

"Okay, so if you could get to Yihsrael and find out about a person calling themselves 'Golden Lion or something about the Ides of March. See if SuperGnome will go with you. Remember, to keep my identity secret." And with that James flew away.

Page 5:
Panel 17:

"At least I can make my own way down from here." thought SuperMouse still on the Water Tower as he started to head down a portion of SuperDude's foot could be seen in the top right corner of the panel.

Panel 18:

The Elevator opened in the MegaCity Tribunal building, It was once again James Smith holding a chinese take-away container with some food for Louise.

Panel 19:

"Here you go." said James putting the container down on Louise's desk. "Thanks. I think I know where to start looking next." commented Louise. "So do I, you go first." offered James "No I insist, you go first." responded Louise "okay how about we do it together ready?" suggested JAmes "3,2,1" counted Louise "Atheistic Right" said both reporters their lines of conversation merging at Athesitic Right indicating they spoke the same thing at the same time.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11866819&postcount=438)
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

QUALIFYING CAMPAIGN COMES UNSTUCK
Imperial Beat Combo Denies Plagiarising Wentland Band

By Anna Comneno


Perhaps inevitably, the Holy Empire's attempt to qualify for the World Cup for the first time since World Cup 4 threatened to come unstuck after the Imperials sank to their second consecutive away loss overnight, this time to the Golden Wolves of Yafor 2. Despite fighting hard throughout - figuratively, that is - a late consolation goal by Curcuaso couldn't overcome the early lead established by the Yaforites.

Coach Juan Tzimisces was said to be 'disappointed but encouraged'. Disappointed at the loss, but encouraged that the Imperial squad has remained competitive in matches against higher ranked opposition. "We're getting close to the half-way stage, and we're beating the teams ranked below us, and - usually - losing to the teams ranked above us, that extraordinary draw against Liverpool England and the win over Lisburn Mateys being notable exceptions. This is a steep learning curve for the lads, and while I'm disappointed we're not doing better, I'm also encouraged that no team except Bettia has beaten us by more than one goal. And 8-1 over Socialist Romanistan.... that was quite some way to start, wasn't it!"

In other news, popular beat combo the Basileus Chiefs were last night forced to defend themselves against charges that their new hit 'I Predict a Milchama Riot' had plagiarised the obscure song 'I predict a Riot' by little-known ordinary reality act Ansol Kolob from Wentland. "We deny these charges utterly" said a spokesman for the band, claiming that the apparent similarity in lyrics was "purely coincidental - there's only so many ways you can rhyme 'lairy' with 'scary' anyway." Equally popular beat combo Adam And His Pants supported the Basileus Chiefs, noting that Wentland act The Magnificent Five had been releasing songs eerily similar to Pants hits for years, leading many to wonder how the Wentland music scene came to be so close to that of the Holy Empire in the first place.

"Now that was a good match!." Greg Hughes said to his team as they came off the field after their 4-1 win over Assegai Developments. Jon Fields scored two goals while Ryan Fret and Andrew Plett each had one. "That is how we play a soccer game!." he exclaimed.

"Everyone played amazingly, Fieldsy nice goals, you too Plett and Fret, heh, kinda ryhmes." Cory Sorley said.

"Ya, that was a good game but we have to be focused for tomorrow, for what is our biggest game of the qualifiers for now." Fields said.

"He's right, we take on Starblaydia, Number 1 in the World, this is our time to show that we are better than people think, that we are more than just upstarts, that we can actually win." Greg Hughes said. "Now everyone have a good nights sleep and I will see you all tomorrow." he finished.

Demot Daily ~ Take Charge

After another stunning draw, this time with Dorian and Sonya, the Dynamo find themselves at a crossroads. If they can win thier next match, or even pull off another amazing draw, they will enter the second half of qualifying on the inside track of taking the final coveted qualifying spot from the group's higher seeds, and make abit of history at the same time. The keys to victory will be the squad's ability to focus on their assignments, take advantage of their oppurtunities when they come, and protect their young goalie. Black and Ysman will need to finish like they have these past few matches, and the team will do well. In order for that to happen, Masteron and Frontson will need to do a better job of holding onto the ball and finding their colleagues when they make their runs. For now though, we must wait and see if another upset is in the making.

Scorers
Sarah Ysman - 8
Samantha Black - 5
David Masteron - 3
Justin Frontson - 1
Christi Sans - 1
Allison Lucas -1

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

The Schiavone Scribe
Az Good Az It Gets
Schiavonia 4-2 Az-cz

Well thank the Lord for that!

No, not Seamus Bradley and Colin Chester's late goals that earned the Sloths their victory last night, but that, for once, Schiavonia have actually had a challenging game.

Of course, in the early stages, it seemed just like every other game. Two up within eight minutes, first with a blast from distance before getting a spectacular diving header onto the end of Will Caine's free-kick.

But then, when what usually happens is that the other team lose their confidence and keel over, the Gnomes stuck at their task. They kept plugging away, changed their shape during the break and really gave the Sloths a run for their money.

Indeed, they did much better than that, they even made a comback! Yes, Schiavonia uncharacteristically played as if the two early goals would be enough for the win, underestimating the Az-cz team. First Uz-Gz, then EE-Or pulled the scores back to level pegging, and were it not for a sterling performance from Jack Holmes in goal and a goalline clearence from Ed Fielding, it would have been even worse for the Orange and Dark Red.

But then two substitutions to change the game. Az-cz coach Khim went defensive, bringing Lo-Ro into the midfield, while Rodney Lowe brought on Shiela Blige for the ineffective Jermaine Edwards. It was the kick up the backside they needed.

First Seamus Bradley shrugged Ns-Ta off with the slightest of ease, leaving the big man in the clear to roll the ball past Gn-Lg, then with Az-cz pushing on, Blige ran clear and kindly slipped in Chester for a hat-trick, becoming the first player to score three in a game for Schiavonia since Tony Tarmey did it. Probably. Whenever that was.

So four-two it finished, and Lowe seemed genuinely pleased with his team afterwards.

"It takes something special for a team to get itself back together after gradually falling apart for the best part of an hour," he told us, "When Shiela came on, it was like an extra boost. She livened up the players who were out there."

But the team are now missing an extra element that it really needs to tick over.

"The traditional Schiavone midfield is made up of three components - the tackler, the passer and the creator. At the moment, since Alan Tiss came in for Fr. Symeon, we have had two tacklers and a creator. Alan isn't really a passer, although he's doing a decent enough job there for now, it might be time to bring someone extra in to cover for Fr. Symeon."

Fr. Symeon's whereabouts continue to be unknown. That investigation continues.

Final score
Schiavonia 4 (Chester 4, 8, 90, Bradley 82)
Az-cz 2 (Uz-Gz 51, EE-Or 62)

What is this computer leeching?

After the Hexatux demanded an internet access as result of developping a limited sentience, the results of the Orange-Blues steadily declined. The Orange-Blues only defeated the oddballs Algal States 2:1. Heje Kija again played in this match, but the rather attacking lineup and the rather unconventional and incomprehensible formation did not help her to show her real talent. Jenji Y decided for some tactical orders, which earned him annoyed commands from the Hexatux in the last 3 minutes, which led to the last goal. An administrator however commented about the high usage of bandwidth, that Hexatux used during and before the match. "Apparently this AI searched for ever picture of modded computer, which exists... No idea why it did so." Jenji Y said the Syku Lyku experiment was officially failed and wants to experiment on this position a bit with other skilled players.

Chris Bricking didn't feel good. He hadn't felt good since his "lucky" run-in with two lovely ladies. He had figured it was just a common cold, or the flu, or maybe the Bird Flu, nothing major. However after he had puked for the 5th time in an hour he figured it couldn'y have jsut been the oysters him and his teammates ate at a run down restaurant. He went to the doctor's office. He had a few basic tests done, and they told him to come back in two days. So, it was two days later, and he came back, just like the doctor had told him to.

"I have some bad news, and some worse news." The doctor said

"Well.... tell me the bad news first." Chris said.

"You have 24 hours to live." the doctor said.

"Oh My God, what could be worse than that." Chris replied.

"Well, i tried to reach you yesterday." the doctor said. A look of sheer terror came over Chris' face.

"That's horrible I'm going to die soon." Chris said. The doctor then burst out in laughter. "What the fuck is so funny about me dying?!" he yelled at the doctor.

"Bahahha, it was only a joke, the other doctor's each paid me 75 Hubes to do that" the doctor said.

"Oh, well that's a relief. What about my real results." Chris said, still slighty shocked.

"Oh, right, you have a slight case of a stomcah virus." the doctor said.

"Well, thats just slightly embarassing." Chris said. "What can I do about it?"

"Well, we will give you some medication, and some cream." the doctor said.

"Okay, what about my soccer games?" Chris asked.

"You should take the one tomorrow off, and after that you should be good." the doctor replied.

"Okay" Chris said. With that Chris went home, had some dinner took his meds and paryed hed be better by morning.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/worldcup/spaamsportsweekly.png

Catholic Vs Orthodox: Still A Draw

With little separating the two teams, it was sure to be an exciting battle,
with the Orthodox monks facing the Catholic* Waffles. However, most
suprising was the uniforms that the Spaamanians walked on to the field with:
tight orange and black lycra shorts, with revealing orange and black lycra
sports bras for the women, and nothing for the men. The monks were
obviously peturbed, but seemed to forgive the Waffles, blessing them in a
ceremony reminiscent of the ulek. It was Spaam who got the first blow,
however, with Tehta Trevelyan's usual brilliance hooking it past the
anonymous monk.

Four minutes later, however, Gwinear Tonkin fumbled, letting the monks back
in the match when number eight took advantage of the situation. It was
exciting football on both sides, as would be expected, and the crowd was
given something to see when Feoca Arthur was caught out after a monk shot
from the half way line. Going into the break, it looked like the Archregimancy
might come out on front, leading two nil. The second half was more of the
same, though the monks started looking distracted with the bare flesh running
around them, and their heavy cossacks were tiring them more than the
Waffles tight sports clothes.

However, the monks defense was impressive, and the crowd was getting
more vocal at Spaam's failure to equalise. There was some good natured
jibes on the field, with coach Tamsyn Pengelley calling out random priest's
names, and "bless you"s coming from Father Polycarp the Venerable whenever
the Waffles lost the ball. It was only a matter of time before one team broke,
and luckily for Spaam, it was the Archregimancy, with Mar'h Menadue
equalising off some nice post-corner headwork. No more goals were to be
found, and the match ended as perhaps everyone expected, the two great
teams drawing at two goals all.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/spaam.png Spaam 2:2 The Archregimancy http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_archregimancy.png
(1 T. Trevelyan 15'; 14 M. Menadue 75') (8 19'; 11 44')

*Really, there are only two Catholics on the squad, but still...


Group 9 Roundup

In other matches, Rorysville had no answers to Tessan, with the home team
putting through five goals to the visitors' one. The Lord of Hosts looked like a
schoolboy team when they hosted Squornshelous, the hosts letting through
five. Funnia Lan thought it wasn't a laughing matter when Wentland had a
much needed big four goal win, and Tocapa fell to Iansisle's experience.

Group 9:
Tessan [5] Rorysville [1]
Lord of Hosts [0] Squornshelous [5]
Funnia Lan [0] Wentland [4]
Tocapa [0] Iansisle [2]
Spaam [2] The Archregimancy [2]

Squornshelous managed to squeeze back on top, but Spaam is just one point
behind on twenty points. Tessan also managed to steal their third place
back, a win behind the Waffles and point ahead of the Archregimancy in
fourth. There is then a big five point gap back to fifth placed Wentland, and
a futher point to Tocapa, sixth on ten points. Iansisle and Funnia Lan share
seventh place, a win behind, Tocapa is in ninth, a win behind them, and Lord
of Hosts is still pointless.

----Group 9---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Squornshelous 8 7 0 1 24-11 +13 21
[2] Spaam 8 6 2 0 27-13 +14 20
[3] Tessan 8 5 2 1 28-14 +14 17
4- The Archregimancy 8 4 4 0 24-12 +12 16
5- Wentland 8 3 2 3 16-17 -1 11
6- Rorysville 8 3 1 4 18-17 +1 10
7- Iansisle 8 2 1 5 15-18 -3 7
8- Funnia Lan 8 2 1 5 14-29 -15 7
9- Tocapa 8 1 1 6 14-25 -11 4
10- Lord of Hosts 8 0 0 8 7-31 -24 0


Coming Up

Iansisle are a shadow of their former selves, whereas Spaam are like the team
that played fifty years ago. Considering the Waffles have beaten the top
seed, drawn with the second seed, and have not been beaten so far this
competition, you'd have to feel for poor Iansisle, even at home.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/iansisle.png Iansisle vs Spaam http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/spaam.png

In other matches, Rorysville will be looking to continue the Lord of Hosts'
losing streak and keep themselves in the distant hunt for qualification.
Wentland will be looking to start a run when they host Tocapa and keep their
slim qualification hopes open. Its a battle of the top seeds when the
Archregimancy host Squornshelous, with both teams doing well. Most would
be backing the world number sixes, but the monks unbeaten streak looks to
stay unbeaten. And Tessan would like to keep their third spot when they
head to Funnia Lan, but the joke may be on them.


Advertisements

For Sale: 22 pairs of orange and black lycra shorts, only worn once.
Contact Ms. Pengelley at tamsyn@waffles.sp

Wanted: Chicken teeth. Will pay well. Contact Islands of Qutar
Football Association on +13 62 3857 2395

1 T. Trevelyan 9
20 E. Retallack 5
2 G. Chegwidden 4
14 M. Menadue 4
22 J. Hoover 2
19 H. Nepean 1
9 M. Prisk 1
21 S. Maddaford 1

- Matchday 9 RP Cutoff -

Matchday 9 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11862532&postcount=9)

Please note that there will be a 48+ hour gap between MD 9 and MD10 scores to allow a midway break, as opposed to the usual 24 hour gap.

In the SFA headquarters...

http://www.solutia.com/images/corporate/content/locations/headquarters.jpg

President Erc Ellery is in a meeting with a strange man...

Ellery: Look 003, I need you to do some work for me...

Strange Man: Its 008. What work?

Ellery: This anonymity of the monks is very vexing. We need to find out their identities, 009.

Strange Man: Its 008. Very well, where do I go?

Ellery: You can't go to their home land on your own, because it is guarded by some magic mumbo jumbo. So we need you to infiltrate the Squornshelous team, pose as one of their staff members, and go with them to the Dreamed Realm. Can you do that, 005?

Strange Man: Its 008! Of course, but it will cost you extra.

Ellery: Money is no object. Say, a hundred thousand per name, 004?

Strange Man: 008! Fine.

Ellery: I must go now, as I have a flight to Okielahoma (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11836795&postcount=209) to catch. Let yourself out, 007.

Ellery leaves...

Strange Man: 008! 008!

TO BE CONTINUED

QAZOXIAN TIMES

Qazox righted themselves with a 5-1 win over Assegai Developments after that underwhelming performace against Spindomia the other night as they finished their 1st 4 game road trip with an impressive 3-0-1 record. Nelson Macgillivray lead the way with 3 goals, all in the 1st half as Qazox jumped out to an early 3-0 lead.

Macgillivray's 1st goal came in the 23rd minute of play as he scored after Jan Rosencrantz of AI tripped and Nelson easily scored. The 2nd of his gaols came just 10 minutes later as he blew right by Rosencrantz to score again. The 3rd goal came in the 40th minute when Rosencrantz tackled Nelson hard in the box, which lead to a penalty kick.

The second half saw A.I. coming back some with an early goal in the 48th minute by Sidney Losstarot, but two goals by Kyle Horton, who was subbed in for a hobbling Nelson Macgillivray at the half, which were scored in the 66th and 82nd minutes, providing the final margin.

At the halfway point of the Qualifying, Qazox currently sits 2nd, just 4 points behind Starblayduia and are 3 points ahead of Eseck for 4th. a 6-2-1 record was a bit more than was expected By the black oxen, but no one back home is complaining. The second hald begins with a re-match against current 3rd place team, Raging Penguins. A victory against the psychotic penguins will put Qazox at least 4 or 5 points ahead of 3rd place. But after the RP match, it will get tougher quickly as the next 4 are on the road, with 2 of the games being @ Starblaydia, who will be looking to avenge our 2-1 shocker and @ Quakmybush, whom many predicted would win the group. There is a long way to go, but so far so good for Qazox.

DOWNLOADING DAY EIGHT SCORES processing....processing...complete.

MATCHDAY EIGHT SCORE- TYNELIA 1- GREEN WOMBAT 0

GOALS: Jay Masterson(TYN) 89TH MINUTE

GAME SUMMARY: This data fragment has been deleted.

the FZW currently hold 5th place in qualifing with a 5-1-3 record. They are only 2 points out of qualifaction.

STONER TALK

Joe Spicoli: our offence finally woke up as we beat those furniture makers from Ikeea 5-2. Trent Estorga did a decent job in goal allowing two late ones int he 78th and 85th minute to make the match seem closer than it was. But 2 goals each from Emil Timmermann (34th and 67th minutes) and Emmanuel Adelman (20th and 57th minutes) along with Efrain Fuda's 1st goal in thew 16th minute gave us the win.

So far through the halfway point, Sativaville is doing about what is expected. We beat 4 teams we were supposed to beat, drew 3 teams we could draw against and lost to the best 2 teams in the group. a 4-3-2 record is good and the 2nd half could see us with 4 wins again, but i'm afraid that 8 wins will no be good enough to qualify us. But with a good showing here and in the Cup of Harmony, we could be one of the dark horses in 4 years.

Up next is a Matchday 1 re-match at a dissapointing Dorian and Sonya. These ladies seem to be palying better than the 1st game, so a closer match this time around I'm guessing a 2-2 draw.

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k163/canuck3360/SportsnetRVWCXXXI.png

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Rorysville.png v Lord of Hosts

Moose Earn a Shuout Win

Well with a untested netminder getting his first Career Start in World Cup Play. What could go better than all the changes paying off. Again the one two puch of Negeuanne and Guard would electrify Moose fans as both notched goals at the 27th and 63rd minutes and meanwhile in between the Wooden Posts was Steve Weiland who stood up for his mates and made save after save when called upon and earned a shutout in his first game.With the win Rorysville moves within a point of 5th place in Group 9 and 7 out of a playoff spot.
"I was proud of the performance by Weiland and until further notice he'll be the starter.As for the rest of the Sub ins played exceptionally well we executed our plays when we needed to now we need to step up and play like this when we need it even more like our next game a rematch against Squornshelous"--Coach Merriles



Rorysville Scoring Leaders
A.Negeuanne-7
P.Guard-6
J.Pérez-2
M.Millens-2
A.Lenevue-1
M.Schweitzer-1
A.Trefelov-1


---Group 9---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Squornshelous 9 7 0 2 26-14 +12 21
[2] Tessan 9 6 2 1 32-14 +18 20
[3] Spaam 9 6 2 1 27-14 +13 20
4- The Archregimancy 9 5 4 0 27-14 +13 19
5- Wentland 9 4 2 3 19-17 +2 14
6- Rorysville 9 4 1 4 20-17 +3 13
7- Iansisle 9 3 1 5 16-18 -2 10
8- Funnia Lan 9 2 1 6 14-33 -19 7
9- Tocapa 9 1 1 7 14-28 -14 4
10- Lord of Hosts 9 0 0 9 7-33 -26 0


Moose Schedule
MD01 v Squornshelous L 3-2
MD02 v The Archregimancy L 3-1
MD03 v Funnia Lan W 5-1
MD04 v Tocapa W 3-1
MD05 @ Spaam L 3-2
MD06 v Iansisle W 3-0
MD07 @ Wentland D 1-1
MD08 @ Tessan L 5-1
MD09 v Lord of Hosts W 2-0
MD10 @ Squornshelous
MD11 @ The Archregimancy
MD12 @ Funnia Lan
MD13 @ Tocapa
MD14 v Spaam
MD15 @ Iansisle
MD16 v Wentland
MD17 v Tessan
MD18 @ Lord of Hosts

Jeruselem Government News - Dazza's YAP YAP

Group 7 mud fight not finished yet, Nedalia stalled and socialists WIN

Oh yeah Dazza feels sorry for Lions (Nedalian) fans. They only got a draw with Anathematic Republics 1 ALL and there's two more points gone. Halfway and Nedalia are not in the top 3 - which seem to be running away from the others in Group 2. It's not looking good as Bedistan keep on rolling with win after win while Nedalia are haunted by it's losses early. I think, at this syage the Nedalia Lions need a really strong 2nd half campaign. 9 games - 27 points for grabs. In reality, really a maximum of 24 as Bedistan expect to beat Nedalia. So if the Nedalia grab 8 more wins - they could just make it. They need to beat 2nd and 3rd place teams or it's ALL OVER.

Socialist Romanistan got their 3rd win - over Yafor 2 ironically. Yafor 2 aren't doing well but the spirited socialists them ONE NIL. Dazza does not expect Socialist Romanistan to qualify but they have 3 wins from 9 which isn't bad really for a team ranked 210th. Compare that to the Nedalian Lions and they are doing quite well as the Lions aren't doing so well at all.

Group 7 - 6 teams within 6 points of each other. Positions 2 to 6 change all the time while Jeruselem somehow hold top spot but just. The unpredictable Geisenfried who don't know what a draw is played Jeruselem and got something called a draw, Geisenfried's first. Yeah I know, my team minus me should have won but a team with 5 wins is not some team to disregard. It was tough game and where both teams had chances to win but could not. It ended up 2 ALL and another two points dropped but we are still not beaten yet. Jeruselem 1st and Geisenfried fall back to 5th. We have two point gap to 2nd - and yes we could fall out of top 3 if we keep on dropping points.

Chicanada ran into a brick wall called Ariddia. Ariddia won convincingly THREE NIL and move upwards once more while Chicanada fall back to 6th. Oh yeah, Ariddia move up and look like claiming a spot on the top 3 when they stop losing games. Of these two teams, Dazza thinks Ariddia will make as Chicanada's four losses compared to Ariddia's two will prove the difference. Ariddia lost to us once so that loss was not a total shock, the other loss was.

Tryanny aren't last but they are playing that way. Kericia kept 3rd spot with a hammering of this team FIVE ONE. Kericia have the ability to make the top 3 and once again put away another win. Kericia are the top goal scorers with 30 goals - ahead of Ariddia and Jeruselem and Geisenfried. These other teams aren't exactly low scorers either with an average of about 3 goals per game. I think 3 of these four teams will make top 3 because of goal difference in the end and one of them should be my team Jeruselem.

Montegrande and Cyredel played a 1 ALL draw but then the top 6 aren't affected, so these lower teams are just slowing digging their own graves as the top 6 fight it out. Draws don't help when you live in the bottom 4 at all. Montegrande drew with Jeruselem before and really should have won.

Magnus Valerius kept 2nd place by beating lowly The Macabees who are fading fast. The Macabees have falled 6 points behind 6th and 12 points behind 1st while Magnus Valerius's win have put them 2 points behind 1st and 2 points ahead of 3rd. Scoreline was TWO ONE and the Magnus Valerius goal difference is very thin - so they need to keep on winning. Chicanada have a very similar goal difference too. Six wins to Jeruselem and Magnus Valerius with others on five - this is going to be close.

A fan which watched my Dazza does Dallas cheerleader DVD noted something. I was kinda topless for a few minutes ... yeah. God knows how that passed the censors but it did. Maybe he was looking at something else in the DVD but hey - my fans are very observant. Mind you most of it relates to what I'm not wearing. or forgot to wear. Fans look for the scene yourself because I'm sure there's more fun stuff people will find by accident.

People have been asking me (Dazza) when's the wedding. OK, it's after the World Cup 31 and before the Women's world Cup 6. I'm not going to hold it in a church - too BORING - in a SOCCER stadium. Yes, Dazza's going invite all those football fans to her wedding because Dazza's football person and her church is a football stadium. A catholic priest will be there but hey I'm still doing all the planning since I'm not allowed to play.


Group 2:
Bazalonia [1] Bedistan [3]
Nedalia [1] Anathematic Republics [1]

Group 7:
Ariddia [3] Chicanada [0]
Geisenfried [2] Jeruselem [2]
Kericia [5] Tryanny [1]
Montegrande [1] Cyredel [1]
The Macabees [1] Magnus Valerius [2]

Group 8:
Socialist Romanistan [1] Yafor 2 [0]


---Group 7---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Jeruselem 9 6 3 0 25-8 +17 21
[2] Magnus Valerius 9 6 1 2 18-15 +3 19
[3] Kericia 9 5 2 2 30-14 +16 17
4- Ariddia 9 5 2 2 27-14 +13 17
5- Geisenfried 9 5 1 3 25-15 +10 16
6- Chicanada 9 5 0 4 14-12 +2 15
7- The Macabees 9 3 0 6 11-27 -16 9
8- Montegrande 9 1 4 4 10-15 -5 7
9- Tryanny 9 1 2 6 6-24 -18 5
10- Cyredel 9 0 1 8 7-29 -22 1

Statistical Update

Group Standings

---Group 5---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Casari 9 9 0 0 28-8 +20 27
[2] The Islands of Qutar 9 7 1 1 35-10 +25 22
[3] Northern Caesarea 9 7 0 2 22-11 +11 21
4- Anastasiania 9 4 2 3 19-15 +4 14
5- Okielahoma 9 4 2 3 19-17 +2 14
6- The Mice of Miceland 9 3 1 5 13-18 -5 10
7- System Karela 9 3 0 6 8-11 -3 9
8- Vuam and Isma 9 1 3 5 11-22 -11 6
9- Harlesburg 9 1 2 6 10-23 -13 5
10- Ancient Byzantine 9 0 1 8 5-35 -30 1--Next

Individual

Goal Scorers:
Harris 9
Bateman 3
Wilson 3
Severson 1
Lloyd 1
Morris 1
Boatwright 1

Assists:
Morris 10
Bateman 5
Wilson 1
Harris 1

Saves
Molander 15
Swartzyk 1

Yellow Cards
Boatwright 2
Harris 2
Cobb 1

Red Cards
--NONE!--

Team
Passing Percent 76%
Shooting Percent 48%
Tackles 49

Other News
A Spaamian citizen has reportedly flown to Okielahoma. COunt on OSPN to keep you updating on this mischevious story.

We kinda beat Commerice Heights


Hello There welcome to SportsChat I'm Henry Lewis, Today we have a special guest today. Jimmy Hellios Coach of the TMK National Soccer team.

"Jimmy,hello"

"Thanks Henry"

" So Jimmy Why are you Cioaching, I mean you're only 28 years old I'm sure you still have some fight in ya?"

"well when VN withdrew, I still wanted to be involved in The WC so I heard about the TMK Positions being open ,and it went from there."

" the game everyone is talking about is Aurendia. why?"

"Well I mean No bussiness, the whole idea is to win, and fighting isn't really a winning move so, I had to punish them. We aren't here to maim we're hear to win."

"well it's time to pay the bills so after we return more questions for Jimmy, plus Audience participation. after this

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 3-0 Chicanada http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/chicanada.png

Up and down the rank chart. . .

The Rouge-et-Noirs climbed back from sixth to a slightly less worrying fourth place in Group 7 today, after a convincing home win over Chicanada in Stade National Rêvane-Sud.

The Chicanadan fans and players were welcomed warmly, but the two teams’ previous encounter was obviously still on many minds. Back then, the Chicanadan media had reacted in anger to its own team’s 2-6 loss against Ariddia, prompting scorn among Ariddians. Rouge-et-Noirs fans were undoubtedly hoping the performance could be repeated.

The first half of the match was comparatively slow, ending with Ariddia in a one-nil lead after a goal by – who else? – Hanifah Kyaw. But, just as importantly, the atmosphere on the pitch had remained civil, and Chloé al Safi apologised politely for tripping up Chicanadan midfielder Kai Louise.

In the second half, the game speeded up a little, and Dave Rider – one of the revelations of the Ariddian team – increased his country’s lead in the fifty-seventh minute. Ariddia’s defence was handling Chicanada extremely well, and Cécile Granville had stopped every shot on goal. The fans in red and black began to get excited.

It was time for a bit of friendly taunting. “Onetwothreefourfive…SIX-two!” the crowd chanted repeatedly, reminding everyone that the teams’ previous encounter had not been forgotten. And: “Chiiiiiiica… nada, nada, nada!” Ariddian fans chanted cheerfully, rubbing it in while Uha Teh gave her country a three-nil lead.

Any lingering doubts faded as the whistle blew, and Ariddia’s fans rose to their feet and cheered.

Meanwhile, in Group 7, a draw between Jeruselem and Geisenfried is potentially advantagous to Ariddia. Jeruselem continue to be in excellent form, however, and remain firmly at the top of the group.

In Group 2, fellow Uhuhlanders Backwardistan hosted Errinundera, and conceded a 2-4 defeat. Most Ariddians supported the rainforest nation, but are admittedly pleased that Backwardistan is doing so well in most of its matches.

Eseck controversy continues

The Spindomian Football Association, while condemning the murderous practices in Eseck, has rejected the idea of withdrawing from matches against the latter’s team. “It would hurt our country’s reputation,” an SFA spokesman explained, adding that such matters should not be “brought into football”. An AFA spokeswoman has, in return, questioned the concept of maintaining one’s reputation while playing against a country which believes human sacrifices will improve its team’s performance.

“It is Eseck themselves who have associated murder with football,” she insisted. “The Spindomian Football Association would, in my opinion, best be preserved by having nothing to do with them.”

AFA President Anna Teals has expressed Ariddia’s “gratitude” for the Turorian Football Association’s support, and has said the TFA’s counter-suggestion is “definitely an interesting one”.

“Anytime a match is boycotted, the boycotting team will lose 0-3. That means another win for Eseck. If they win, those idiots will probably think their sacrifices were working, and keep doing them,” TFA president president Gisterfred Q. Disterfred argued.

“He has a point,” Teals admitted. “Although to me it still seems ethically repugnant to play against a team knowing its players are spurred on by human sacrifice.” She added, “Perhaps it is best to leave this issue to each country’s conscience. I’m just glad we’re not in Group 1, with this horrible choice to make.”

In consequence, the Ariddian Football Association has decided not to enact punitive measures against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, who have hosted Eseck on their territory. This has come as a great relief to fans of Ariddian national team captain Hanifah Kyaw, who plays for the club Kelsey in ASMV.

“We were afraid it would mean the end of her career with Kelsey,” one fan said. “I’m very happy it hasn’t turned out that way.”

((ooc- splitting this into two posts because its...long))

“Hello everyone and welcome to the extended halfway point edition of Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s coverage of Tynelia’s fifth attempt to qualify for the World Cup proper. Today the team went old school against one of their longest rivals the Green Wombats and reminiscent of their very first meeting Tynelia won 1-0 on a goal from Jay Masterson. This moves Tynelia into a virtual tie with Az-cz at the halfway point after the gnomes defeated a stumbling Dance 2 Revolution team 2-1 to take over third based on their head to head win against us on MD2. In other action rejistania rolled to a 5-0 thrashing of Sel Appa and the Algal States scored more than they had in the first eight matches combined with a 3-1 win over Pablicosta. The big shock is Schiavonia’s falling from the ranks of the unblemished after a shocking 2-2 draw with Nebuleux that no one not even my cohost Dana Lee saw coming. I’m Mike McPhee of course so here we are at the break Dana.”

“Yes we are Mike, and Tynelia stands at 18 points. Ironically this is about what people might expect from a fourth seed in a group with losses to the three teams above it. But the first two matches threw that out the window after we beat D2R but lost to Az-cz. Now that means Tynelia must win the Az-cz rematch in order to neutralize that tiebreaker edge. Both teams start out with tough matches as we start from the beginning again. Both of us will be on the road, us against D2R and the gnomes against a Nebuleux squad that has to be sky high after the draw with Schiavonia. So it’s very possible we’ll still be tied going into the rematch and with the Wombats facing the Algal States we could find ourselves behind the Wombats once again.”

“Good point Dana but at least we’re still in the thick of the hunt. With the D2R loss to Az-cz its looking like it will be five teams fighting for three spots. Schiavonia is a lock and Rejistania, though only two points ahead of us are playing like the top seed that they are and stormed past almost everyone over the last three matches. That leaves us, Az-cz and the Wombats fighting for the last spot. We’ve made it halfway through what Coach Billington said was the four matches we had to win but the tough half of that run is next. Clearly we need to beat the gnomes at least to keep our chances good.”

“Not only that Mike but I think the real key will be Schiavonia and Rejistania. How the three teams fare against the big two will play a huge roll in who moves on. Any points gained there will certainly give an advantage over the other two teams as points should be rare here. The gnomes grabbed one off Rejistania the first time around and you can see how that helped them out. Az-cz and ourselves have a slight advantage in this as we now face them both at home instead of being out on the road. The Wombats get Schiavonia at home but must go on the road to Rejistania. Also the gnomes have more home matches remaining while two of our three are against the big boys. Obviously getting points at home is vital given that two of our three losses were on the road.”

“OK Dana, time to hear from Coach Billington from the Presidential Coliseum where today’s match took place. Hello Coach.”

<Billington appears on split screen>

“Hello Mike and Dana. Nice to see you both again.”

“Thanks Coach. Well another win under your belts today as we hit the middle of group play. How do you feel about the team right now?”

“Overall we’re not in a bad spot Mike, sure I’d like to have some breathing space but at least we can say we’re in the thick of it. Our defense has been very good if you take away the matches with Rejistania and Schiavonia and except for the Az-cz match we’ve done what we’re supposed to do against the teams below us. The offense is still a bit inconsistent though so we have to work on that before we go on this road trip or we’ll be really hurting by the time we come back.”

“So which of the two teams fighting for the final spot do you feel is the biggest threat to your chances?”

“Obviously both the Wombats and Az-cz are playing very well, we barely got by the Wombats today at home and our only home loss was to the gnomes. If I had to pick though I would say Az-cz, they have six home matches this time around to our three and they’re tied with us despite having so many road matches. They could make a serious move with the homefield advantage. Of course the Wombats have five home matches this time so they can’t be overlooked. We’ll be facing them both on the road this time so we’re going to have to become serious road warriors if we want to advance.”

“What do you plan to do to change things against Rejistania and schiavonia this time around. They really outplayed the team the first time around and do you think even if you do qualify that such poor showings against the top teams will mean your stay in the Cup proper will be a short one?”

“Easy there Mike, let’s actually make it into the WC before we start worrying about how we’ll do in it. Both myself and the team expect to put up more of a fight this time around. Nebuleux’s draw actually is a confidence boost for ourselves since it shows that Schiavonia isn’t completely invincible here. The home crowds are very important as well. I expect we’ll take some points out of the matches in the rematches, how many I can’t say but we won’t get blanked like we were the first time around.”

“OK then Coach, that’s all the time we have for now. Good luck on this four match road trip to start the second half.”

“Thanks Mike.”

<Billington vanishes from the screen>

“There you go dana a cautiously confident Coach Billington. Do you think the homefield edge of both the gnomes and Wombats will keep us from qualifying Dana?”

“It is certainly a factor Mike. If we think we can get points over a pair of top twenty teams then certainly the teams ranked below us will think they can get points off us. I think we need another six win half to have a real shot at pulling this off. But winning these next two will go a long way to helping the team’s situation.”

“What about the next match then? The first time around at home we dominated D2R with a 3-0 shutout. Now we’re going to their homefield and they will certainly be out for revenge and trying to keep their fading hopes alive. Draws won’t really help them at this point, they need wins.”

“Yes they do Mike but I haven’t really seen any signs that they are getting their act together. They did lose a close one to Az-cz on the road, but a team like D2R coming off a CoH win is expected to win that match most of the time but they fell short. Ideally they can wait one more match before turning things around so they can damage the teams around us. But I think Tynelia is playing just well enough to win here in a close 2-1 match.

“As for the rest of the group, the Wombats should finish their sweep of the series with the Algal States at home with a tidy 3-0 win. Az-cz gets one of their two road matches out of the way right off the bat with the Schiavonian streak ending Nebuleux team. The gnomes won 1-0 the first time around and I expect another low scoring matchup here. In fact I’m going to go with a scoreless draw here. Sel Appa and Pablicosta combined for one of the highest scoring matches in the group the first time around and I think Sel Appa has enough to win here in another high scoring 4-2 match. Finally the battle of the big two as Schiavonia tries to establish its dominance of the group at home against a Rejistanian team they beat 4-2 on the road in the first match. I expect Schiavonia will also be upset at their stumble to Nebuleux and seek to restablish themselves as the team to beat. However, Rejistania is on a roll as well so I’m going to go with Rejistania 3-2 in what some might call an upset despite their rankings.”

“Wow, I think you probably alienated all your Schiavonian fans with that pick, at least the ones who aren’t out to get you for not predicting the draw. But that’s the life of anyone who tries predicting matches ahead of time. But now its time for the complete group by group look of everyone else here in the Cup, as soon as we get back from this commercial break and start the second half of today’s hour long edition of TSW.”

<commercial break>.

“OK Mike we’re back and lets take a look at the other groups at the midway point of qualifying, in group 1 no one is surprised that Starblaydia is on top right now though the fact the Oxen pinned a loss on them probably qualifies. Powered by this win Qazox is also in a position to move on four points back in second with 20. In a bit of a surprise CoH semifinalist Raging Penguins currently hold the third spot while expected contenders Quakmybush and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega are fifth and sixth behind a surprising Eseck team. That final qualifying spot will certainly be hotly contested and even Qazox shouldn’t breathe too easily here.”

“Then looking at group 2 then Dana we find top seed Bedistan leading Errinundera, a team Tynelia is very familiar with and also very happy to not be grouped with, in second with Bazalonia comfortably in third. Fourth place Nedalia is six back and in danger of being left behind in the next couple of matchdays in a big surprise.”

“Skipping our group Mike we go to group four. Here the top two seeds of Krytenia and Commerce heights are doing what they’re supposed to but for the moment it is Demot holding onto third by a pair of points over third seed Cataduanes. They along with Sativaville are the only other teams within a win of the final qualifying spot as the two leaders have separated themselves from the rest of the group.”

“Now to group 5 where for the first time the seedings actually hold up and in a big way. Casari, the Islands of Qatar and Northern Caesarea hold a seven point edge on scrappy Anastasiania and Okielahoma in their first WC.This group seems pretty much finished barring a major collapse from the leaders.”

“In group 6 Mike we find things are a bit tighter. Top seed Tajikistan finds itself in third behind second seed New Montreal States and fifth seed Cuation with the third seed Becquerelia four points back in fourth. There’s a little safety margin for the top three but a strong second half by Becquerelia could bump someone to the outside looking in.”

“Taking a look at group 7 other than Jeruselem being on top like they are expected this is probably the most hotly contested group out there. Five teams are within four points of each other for second through sixth and at the moment the first and third seeds Arridia and Chicanada are on the outside looking in. Magnus Valerius and Kericia at the moment are the two the other three chasers which also include Geinsenfried are trying to catch. This one will certainly go down to the bitter end and have viewers on the edges of their seats the entire second half.”

“Moving along to group 8 Mike, Liverpool England and Bettia are at the top of the group where they are expected but haven’t really made any separation from the others. Third seed Milchama sits a point behind them both and a strong run by the Lisburn Mateys have them only three behind Milchama. With no one else within seven points the three qualifiers will be coming from these four teams.”

“Then onto group 9 Dana where another four team fight seems to be taking place. Top seed Squornshelous leads the way a many expected but by only a point behinds surprising Tessan who is tied with third seed Spaam thanks to goal differential. The monks of the second seed Archregimancy trails this pair by a point then its five back to Wentland who needs a strong second half to make a comeback. Most likely the top three seeds should end up with the spots here though when its all said and done.”

“And finally we hit group 10. Here the biggest shock of all finds the top seed Fmjphoenix well behind the leading trio of third seed leading Spruitland who leads fifth seed Turori by a point and second seed Oliverry by two. The only other team in shouting distance is Ropa-Topia having a strong run only two points behind Oliverry. I expect Spruitland and Oliverry to hang on and advance but it looks like the third team will either be Turori or Ropa-Topia as I think Fmjphoenix is done.”

“And that’s all the groups then Dana. So that means its time for my picks for the five teams who don’t want to be appearing on my “What happened to…” countdown. My basis for my choices were to pick out the five teams in the top 50 or so who were playing well below their expected levels of play to this point. They will be listed in a countdown from the most successful of the underachievers to the least so here we go. There were more than five underachievers so far but these were either the biggest culprits or have done relatively decent but a victim of another team’s strong run. One last thing, when a team is mentioned to be trailing that’s related to the third place team of the group.”

“Number 5- Vuam and Isma- ranked #41 in the world and 4th seed of their group, V&I stumbled badly out of the gates with only one win to show out of nine matches leading to their current eight place spot. Even worse off they are in group 5 where the top three seeds are all playing well and have a big gap on the rest of the group. Trailing by 15 points V&I’s chances are pretty much done.

Can they rebound?- no way.

“Number 4- Yafor 2- ranked 36th in the world and seeded fourth in their group, Yafor 2 seems to be trying to put forth its case at being the next Hypocria after a dismal 6 points through the first half off of one win which lands them in ninth place in their group. Despite having a better GD than V&I their higher rank and lower place in the standings has them listed higher here as they also trail by 15 points from any sort of playoff spot.

Can they rebound?- nope

“Number 3- Dance 2 Revolution- ranked 35th in the world and third seed of their group- D2R has been very up and down unable to get any sort of rhythm going. With only ten points and three wins in the first half they find themselves back in 6th place with a lot of ground to make up. Trailing by eight points going into the second half D2R needs to find someway to regroup if they want to move on.

Can they rebound?- doubtful, too many teams ahead of them to make up enough ground on them all.

“Number 2- Nedalia- ranked 19th in the world and second seed of their group, they have actually not done that badly currently holding fourth place in the group with a solid 14 points off of 4 wins. However this still has them six points back and means a strong second half is vital to their chances which is why they find themselves on this list.

Can they rebound?- of the five teams here Nedalia has the best chance of being able to come back and take a spot as they trail an overachieving seventh seed in Errinundera which may or may not last the distance.

“Number 1- FmjPhoenix- ranked #8 in the world and top seed in their group, they find themselves with a paltry 11 points through the first half and more importantly trail Oliverry by a whopping nine points for the final qualifying spot. Barring at least seven or eight wins and a lot of help this could be one of the rare events where one of the top ten teams in the world fail to make the WC proper. All I have to say is that I really feel bad for the CoH teams who will have to face them there.

Can they rebound?- Not this time. Too far back with too little time left.

“And there you have it. The five teams who are the biggest underachievers of this Cup at the halfway point. Now its over to dana and the teams on the otherside of the list.”

“Yes indeed Mike, and unlike your list this list looks at the teams ranked beyond 70th in the world rankings yet somehow find themselves in the thick of the fight for a spot. Or the ‘Who the Quak are these guys?’ list. While we have a few overachievers in the middle ranks of 51-69 their play doesn’t quiete come out of nowhere like these five teams have.

“Number 5- Az-cz- ranked 73rd overall and seventh in the group, the highest ranked team on this list, the gnomes have put up 18 points and have a head to head tiebreaker edge over Tynelia to take the third spot of the group. Unbeaten until they faced the group leaders Schiavonia, the gnomes now have all but two of their matches in the second half at home with two teams chasing them.

Can they keep this up?- Yes- the gnomes are a serious threat as they are only two points from second as well and have two middle seeds in pursuit with fewer home matches. The schedule works well in their favor here.

“Number 4- Demot- ranked 83rd and 7th seed of their group, however they have put together a strong 18 point first half and sit in third place by two points over the second seeds Cataduanes after a first half that they lost only one match.

Can they keep this up?- unlikely as they have a second seed in close pursuit and are well behind the top two teams. Another one loss half seems a bit much to ask for. Even Sativaville is only one win behind Demot and could move past as well.

“Number 3- Tessan- ranked 82nd and 7th in the group, Tessan like Demot and Az-cz find themselves in a qualifying spot if things ended today after a one loss first half sits them second in the group with 20 points, also like the other two teams below them on this list. Unlike the others however they sit only one point out of first and have a smaller chase group with only four teams having a realistic chance of advancing right now.

Can they keep it up- 50-50 chance, the good news is that all four main contenders are within two points of each other so there more chances for Tessan to slip past someone. The bad news is that the other three teams are the top three seeds in the group. But they just need one of them to have a bad half and a strong second half of their own to sneak in.

“Number 2- Eseck- ranked 131st and 9th in the group, up until the final match of the first half Eseck found itself in the top three. But a loss dropped them to fourth with 17 points but only one point out of third. Still this puts them ahead of both Quakmybush and ASMV which probably no one expected. Their practice of human sacrifices to achieve victory is getting them bad press worldwide but so far it seems their gods are soccer fans.

Can they keep it up?- highly unlikely- they have the second and third seeds in the group within one win of them as well as having to jump over another team as well. Too much firepower lining up in pursuit.

“Number 1- Errinundera- ranked 85th and 7th in the group, the most points and highest spot in the standings of everyone on this list as they sit in second with 21 points. Even more important they have a huge 7 point edge over the fourth place team in the group despite two losses in the first half. Tynelian fans are probably grateful for this result as now we’re not the only higher ranked team these Errinunderans beat on.

Can they keep it up?- most definitely- barring a huge collapse or major rally by Nedalia I believe these guys will finish no worse than third and move on to the World Cup proper. Back to you Mike.”

“Well there you have it everyone. Our hour long extended edition of Tynelian Soccer Weekly as we reach the midway point of the tournament. We’ll be back when the second half resumes to see how Tynelia fares on its four match road trip as we start off with a revenge minded Dance 2 Revolution. Dana and I will be back after with the post game show so until then this is Mike McPhee for Dana Lee and Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

“So you’re trying to tell me that your spies say we have no chance if Spaam decides to attack us? That we should surrender now?” King John IV demanded of his cowering advisors.

“Their magics are far beyond out ability to stop even if the Crown Prince claims them to be ‘technology’ though none of our people can recreated any of the things our agents have discovered.” One of them replied valiantly.

“So what shall we do, cringe like Bigtopians and grovel at their feet when they arrive? Madness I tell you.” The king declared

“Well there is one chance to study them more closely sire.” A second ventured.

“Explain yourself.” The king ordered

“Well according to the schedule their soccer team must come here for our second match against them. Perhaps we could study them and pick up some clues to their future actions while they are here.”

“Allow spies to wander freely and reveal our defenses? Are you insane?” the king thundered dangerous.

“No sire, but we can prepare our agents to keep a close watch on them, perhaps even let them stay in the guest wing of the castle while we stand watch. Why a tournament held in their honour might be a good idea also to impress them with our martial prowess.” The advisor suggested.

“No that will not do,” the king replied before pounding his fist on the table and exclaiming. “I have it, they shall reside in the castle on their arrival so my spies can observe them and hold a tournament of our mightiest knights to show them the skilled knights Tessan boasts. That will explain why such a large host is kept here.”

“Brilliant sire,” the other advisors replied as the second looked around confused.

“But that was more or less what I said. All you did was pound the table first.” The second advisor protested.

“That made all the difference, much more forceful that way.” A third advisor answered as the others all nodded.

“So who do we conquer next after the funny people were bested as I of course expected?” the king asked satisfied that his plan would be put into action.

“Tocapa sire, we bested them 5 to 1 the first time we faced them.” A fourth advisor answered. “In fact, I have studied some record and only five other nations have managed to put up an attack better than your team has.” He added

“Bah and after such a trouncing they dare to return again? Brave I am certain but no doubt utterly futile. And send word to Sir Kenmore, sixth is an acceptable start but he must improve before this ends.” The king decided after a few moments. “We are done here, prepare the guest chambers for our most important guests. We must play the proper hosts here after all.”

Nodding everyone went back to their duties, fearful of what lay in the days ahead if they were not very careful.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/bsd-online.png

Editorial
by Michael Richardson

Yesterday I was reading an article in the Murrindal Mail about the Bedistan-Errinundera match. (I like to keep tabs on foreign publications in an effort to help improve myself as a writer, plus the article was about us and I'm always interested to see others' perceptions of Bedistan.) Well, after the match report, the Mail went off on a tangent about how mean we Bedistanis apparently are. Now I dunno, maybe I'm a little biased, but I personally found the descriptions given rather harsh.

"Well," I hear you say, "they are justified, considering they were merely quoting a recent United Nations report saying we're less nice than ninety thousand other nations." And that I can't deny - the report does say that. But it really is misleading. The stuffy old UN inspectors that come here simply don't seem to appreciate Bedistani humor. As a general rule, we tend to be very self-deprecating, and yes, we sometimes extend this to others. We ourselves just laugh it off, but these UN inspectors apparently just aren't amused. It's our own special brand of sarcasm, really. Though maybe it's just not recognizable to an outsider as such - we're not quite the masters of sarcasm that Casarans are, that much is certain.

Yet the article also states, "we [the Errinundrian team] were booed and jeered wherever we went." Alas, I really can't come up with an explanation for that one. Must have been something of an off-day for the fans. In which case, the home fans really should be ashamed of themselves. Maybe that's an acceptable way to treat Sarzonians or Starblaydis*, but not these guys and gals (and others).

Oh, and yes, it's true that the state of our environment sucks. To which all I can say is: You try fitting seven and a third billion people in here without destroying all the trees.

* While Bedistan has a friendly relationship with Starblaydia in terms of international affairs, the same generally cannot be said on the football pitch.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpghttp://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/lisburn_mateys.png
Bulllies beaten but Bettia hang on for a win

Surprise, surprise for matchday 8 when the Mateys pulled up at Liverpool England, everyone said they should just go and avoid the embarressment and with odds of 25-1 who could blame them.
Possibly the smallest ever group of Mateys fans travelled to LE, the low numbers are probally due to the suspected hammering and also getting their mobile phones stolen. Quick goals from LE in the first half made everyone think that the inevitable was happening, however LE took their foot off the gas and allowed the Mateys back into the game.

2-0 after half time and Paul Kirk seemed to be a happy man but what ever he and other back room staff said in the dressing room at half time must have been a miracle cure as the Mateys came out ready to play.

LE kicked off the second half and Cory Carson was immediatly smashed with hard tackle from Patton, who rightfully recieved a yellow card. This was to set the tempo for the second half.

A corner shortly after saw LE send up almost their whole team, but the towering Gucho headed the ball out which fell to the flyer Aaron Mc Cann. Mc cann burst away at some speed into the open field as there was only one defender between him and the goal, his pace got him past Correll, he then fired the ball straight through the keepers legs, 2-1 and game on

Shortly after this Livingston made a good tackle just outside the LE box and rifled off a shot which pinged off the LE post, the Mateys players began to beleive they could win this and their perofrmance picked up.
Naylor and Livingston where fantastic and it was through them the second goal came about, another excellant sliding tackle from Livingston which was picked up by Naylor, who then passed to Kingsberry.
kingsberry took on the defdner then passed back inside, step over to Livingston, who immediatly hit it back to Naylor who struck it first time, straight accross the goal keeper 2-2 what a shot from 25 yards out, it was an area LE failed to close down all half and it cost them.

Substitution was made with Patton making way for Jason Schakel.

The Livingston Naylor combination grew with the addition of Schakel as they could both afford to get forward more often, but a fantasticly weightd through ball to Akobyi whoes shot took a wicked deflection and then beat the Carrerro sealed the win.

Liverpool England 2 - 3 Lisburn Mateys Carson - 4
Toulmin - 17
Mc Cann - 49
Naylor - 61
Akobyi - 78



The Bettia connection

After that fantastic in LE many people believed they could do it again against Bettiaa team which the MAteys through Chuck Gonzalo have considerable knowledge about, however this was not enough as bettia with the help of luck came away the victors.

The match was very tight from start to finish and the Mateys crowd sung their hearts outm with a new sone , " whats that comming over hill is it Livingston, is it Livingston!!???"
Bettia scored first and at a very good time for them as well just before half time after Mitchell was caught out on the left side of defence and rose up to head it in.

Mateys goal came half way through second half after Mc Cann was taken down on his way to goal, Livingston who is renowed for his freekicks imediatly stepped up to take it and hit another perfect freekick int he top left corner.

Bettias second goal was very controversial.
A long ball hit up to Gwarthen Rhydderch which saw Sonny Sabitha clearly offside but he didnt interfere with play so the game continued, B Livingston in goal came out and Rhydderch hit it to Sabitha, who slotted it in, doesnt that mean he was actually interfereing with play???

final score
Lisburn Mateys 1 - 2 Bettia

ESECK Times

Is this the end of the beautiful dream? Eseck loses again can this be the end of a beautiful dream the only goal produce in the match for the esecki side came from Sarus at minute 89, but for most of the match ASMV came dominating

The Kasama condemns the Sacrifices In recent news the King of Eseck has said that the sacrifices were not apealing to other countries and for that the gods were mad. He also said that if we keep sacrificing we can kill off our entire population. Kasama said that he had a dream that the gods would rather have money offerings given to the palace than human blood, ending a rampage of sacrifices

Prince Kaquil secretary of tourism and foreign affairs speaks saying that our tourism has been severely damaged by the sacrifices and it would take a while for other countries to look at us with respect. Kaquil also said that people are describing us as barbarians and overlooking our healthy economy and tourist sightings, we need to start convincing them otherwise to pay attention to our amazing architecture.

Cuptura Kisnob Kadrak the Samakian the highest priest in Samak, Esecks official religion, has spoke against the sacrifices saying that the sacrifices are an abomination against Eseck's God. Cuptura also said that our God is a god of love and life, not of death. Only praying is necessary cause our God will give to him/her who prays sacrifices will only anger Him.

Drew Mirrow declares himself new Kadrak Some guy named Drew Mirrow has gathered a large following and declares himself a new Kadrak saying that "the gods we're sacrificing to are giving us victories so i guess we are still going to sacrifice to them if we want to sacrifice ourselves, we should have the right after all Eseck is a Football Nation." Cuptura Kisnob said that this was herresy and everyone involved in this cult was excomunicated.

The crowd was getting restless outside Gate 2 at the Lychgate. But they were happy. Two thousand dressed in casual tops and sta-prest keks and red scarves and screaming for Norman! Norman! were still celebrating the first ever international match in Maitland - and an easy 3-0 win over Tocapia.

Eventually their idol appeared in familiar red tracksuit top - he was not going to don the royal blue for his homecoming. "There he is!" yelled one fan. "Good old Norman! Speech!! SPEECH!!!"

Hacker was exultant. "We've shown those pansies how to play! This is just the start of something big!! We've broken football down to its basics to recreate something MASSIVE for Wentland football!! And it's being done MY way!!! The Norman Hacker way!!!"

"YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"

The Red Tide approved their manager's words and the cheers could be heard back in the dressing room. Where a Wentland side lay around the benches like shipwreck victims, totally shattered by an all-out, all-effort game that, on top of gruelling training sessions, had left a few of them unfit for the next league games.

Only the Burnsides and Newtons of the world were ready for anything - and they were used to the Hacker...

***

It had not been a good week for Don Bug, lead singer of The Magnificent Five. Eight years since they were last top of the chart, seven since they were last in the top ten...and those idiots in the pub laughing at his attire.

And the judge...bloody hell, all he did was pop a pellet or two at the windows...not a criminal matter, surely? And indeed a suspended sentence was all he got. But there was more humiliation. "Mr Stewart..." "Don't use my real name!!!" "Mr Stewart, a man like you should know better. After all," and the judge smirked at the beaming presspack, "ridicule is nothing to be scared of..."

No way was Bug going to watch the news. Onto a music channel. The weird one. International stuff. Hang on, he thought, what's this?

So unplug the jukebox, and do us all a favour...
That music's lost its taste, so try another flavour...
Pantmusic!!!

It's basically "Bugmusic" with different lyrics...they're ripping me off!!! Wait to the end of the record...who is it? Some random Holy Empire band...Adam something...

Then the copyright notice came up. Blimey, thought Bug. The year before our hit...

The Daily Quak
Quakmybush's Longest Running Daily Newspaper
Halfway Done and Not Doing Well

The Quakmybush Sharks have been attempting to qualify for World Cup 31. They currently sit 5th in their points with a 5 win, 1 Draw, and 3 Loss record, with 16 point along with 18 Goals For, and 10 Goals Against. This is horrible by Quakmybushian standards. Thea team needs to crack the Top 3 of the group or else they will not qualify. Here are some big stories from each group.

Group 1: Obviously the bad play of Quakmybush and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, both teams were considered by many to qualify easily, however Quakmybush sits 5th and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega sits 6th in the group. Also the use of sacrifices in Eseck. The AFA (Ariddian Football Association) has asked the teams of this group to boycot matches against Eseck.

Group 2: The main story from this group is that 85th seed Errinundera is sitting in a qualifying spot. The team that was thought to be in that spot is 19th ranked Nedalia. They currently sit fourth in the group, six points behind a qualifying spot.

Group 3: Schiavonia is playing rediculously well. Also, Az-Cz is sitting in a qualifying spot while Dance 2 Revolution is preforming horribly. Frequent miss by a point team Tynelia is basically doing the same thing right now, they are tied exactly with Az-Cz and a slip up by either of these teams would be tragic.

Group 4: Krytenia and Commcerce Heights are dominating this group, no surprise there. Demot currently sits in the 3rd qualifying spot, however Cataduanes and Sativaville are breathing down their necks.

Group 5: Casari is playing like its World Cup 29, they are the only team left on a perfect record. It may be becuase the team is playing motivated due to using the nation's flag as an icon. The Islands of Qutar and Northern Caesarea are sitting in the other qualifying spots. This is one of the most lopsided groups.

Group 6: Cuation is playing quite well in this group, currently sitting in a qualifying spot. While normal under-acheivers Haraki and One Red Dot and dwelling near the basement of this group. New Montreal States is leading the group, with Tadjikstan in 3rd.

Group 7: This is by far the most tightly contended group, six points seperates first from sixth. Jeruselem is currently sitting in first while Magnus Valeruis and shock Kericia is third. Ariddia, Geisenfried, and Chicanada are sitting on the outside. Ariddia is only behind on Goal Differencial, while Geisenfried sits one point behind and Chicanada two points back.

Group 8: Liverpool England leads, no surprise there, while Bettia is playing strong sitting in second. Third place is still up for grabs with Milchama and Lisburn Mateys are onlt seperated by one win, or three points.

Group 9: Another close group, with the first four teams being sperated by 2 points. Squornshelous sits first with 21 points while shockingly, Tessan sits second, and Spaam sits third. The team on the outside looking in is The Archregimancy, the team is undefeated but still out by one point.

Group 10: Those guys from Spruitland sit in the top stop with Turori in second and Oliverry, although playing poorly still sits third. The main story from this group is that World Number 8 Fmjphoenix sits in 5th spot nine points behind a qualifying spot.

Now a look at Quakmybush's results for games 6-9.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Quakmybush.png @ http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Rordia.png


The Sharks came out flying and handed out a beating to Rordia, Jon Fields scored two goals, and 17 year old sensation Matthew Graves scored 3. Cam Carroll played well in net for the shutout. Result Win 5-0

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Quakmybush.png @ http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ESECK.png

The Sharks worst game in the nations history. IT was the first time that the team had lost to a team ranked below them. The reffing was horrible. Result Loss 0-1

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Assegai_Developments.png @ http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Quakmybush.png

The Sharks got back to form in this match. They took out their anger from the Eseck game and destoyed the ball. Many shots were powerful but missed the net, the score could hace been worse. Jon Fields scored two goals and Ryan Fret and Andrew Plett each scored one. Result Win 4-1

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Quakmybush.png @ http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Starblaydia.png

We all knew this would be a tough match. World Number 1, is all we need to say, the Sharks got off to an early lead by two goals by Jon Fields, but then there was a collapse. Results Loss 2-4

Az-cz Scroll
Az-cz City
Il-Lur

Gnomes battle for three points, slip in to third place

Finally coming back home after playing three straight road games, including the most recent match on the road at Schiavonia, Az-cz looked reenergized. With Coach Hawdon finally rejoining the team the players came out quickly.

Az-cz took control of the game early. Zax-Im was locking down the back of the midfield and Pizelkaxrovsky was quarterbacking the offense the Gnomes looked set to take control. And they did in fact find the opening goal of the game. Haji-Me made a nice sneak forward and crossed the ball to Pizelkaxrovsky. Pizelkaxrovsky returned the ball to Haji-Me, who put the Gnomes ahead with his first international goal, coming 18 minutes into the game.

However D2R showed the spirit that pushed them to the Cup of Harmony championship as they battled back for an equalizer, making a nice takeaway from Haji-Me to send things into the half even.

Az-cz was then in control the entire rest of the game. They continually got forward with good attacks and it was only a matter of time until they broke through and scored. The eventual goal came on a corner kick in the 70th minute. Kn-Dg short cornered it to Haji-Me who looped the ball across the box to Hubertino who headed the ball into the lower left corner.

Az-cz continued to press for ten more minutes then the coaches pulled back the dogs. They brought on Lo-Ro for Pizelkaxrovsky and At-Zm for Haji-Me. D2R tried to break through, but they couldn't find a way to do so and the Pink & Green held on for the win.

The win moves the Gnomes into third place at the half way point. Although they are tied with Tynelia on points, goal differential and goals scored Az-cz is listed in third because of the head to head win. The next match for the Gnomes is Nebuleux in Nebuleux. That match is critical as Az-cz tries to advance in the second half of their schedule. D2R is left with only 10 points and left basically to play the role of spoiler, which they could do as they face Tynelia on match day 10.

Stats
Score Az-cz 2 D2R 1
Az-cz Scorers 18 Haji-Me 70 Hubertino
Possession Az-cz 59% D2R 41%
Shots Az-cz 14 D2R 8
Corners Az-cz 2 D2R 1

Jo-El: Nice win by the team today. The 2-1 victory pushed the team to 18 points, 1 ahead of where they expected to be at this point, and sitting it third place. Thoughts on today's game?

Lur-Mn: Well done. The team was in control for most of the game and recovered from their slipup to put D2R away. It's one of their better performances in a while.

Jo-El: Of the nine first half games which were the most impressive?

Lur-Mn: Match Days 2 and 3. Winning in Tynelia after being down a goal at half was huge and drawing Rejistania was also quite big.

Jo-El: Back on today's game what were the bright points?

Lur-Mn: The attack presence of the back line and defending midfielders. Zax-Im's stable captainship. Coach Hawdon being back on the bench.

Jo-El: And the points of concern?

Lur-Mn: We seem to have lost the ability to throw zeroes up on the scoreboard. We'll need some of those going forward.

Jo-El: Ok. Let's look at the overall first half performance. How would you describe Az-cz's performance?

Lur-Mn: Good but unstable. We gave Schiavonia and Rejistania tough fights and won against Tynelia on the road, but gave up points to Algal States and just limped by Pablicosta. But sitting in third is a strong performance so far.

Jo-El: Ok. Give us your predictions for the next match day of games.

Lur-Mn: I say that we finish Nebuleux off with the same 1-0 score. Look for Tynelia to extend D2R's misery with a 3-1 beating. I think Schiavonia beats Rejistania 2-1 allowing Tynelia to move, at least momentarily into second, and Rejistani, at least momentarily to move out of the top 3. Green Wombat ought to pulverize Algal States 4-0. And Sel Appa ought to find a way to beat Pablicosta this time and get revenge for allowing them points 2-1.

Jo-El: And what are your thoughts on the second half as a whole.

Lur-Mn: It's going to be a nail biting affair the whole way. If we can repeat our fast start of the first half that could be enough to get us qualified. Having six home matches is a big help. I'd say it comes down to us and Tynelia. I can believe it would go either way, but in the end I think Tynelia's experience will be the difference. My predicted order of finish:

1. Schiavonia
2. Rejistania
3. Tynelia
4. Az-cz
5. Green Wombat
6. Dance 2 Revolution
7. Nebuleux
8. Sel Appa
9. Algal States
10. Pablicosta

Jo-El: Thank you for that analysis. We'll see each othe one more time before coach Hawdon returns and we go back to press conferences.

News items from the Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo) Examiner On-line

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/examiner.gif

NEW WORD INVENTED: ERRINUNDRUM

n. 1. a football team that puzzles by performing well outside expectations. 2. a riddle the answer to which involves a pun or play on the name of a football team.

Renowned football commentator danal (aka Dana Lee) from the Tynelian (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tynelia) Soccer Weekly has rated Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) as the greatest overachieving side in World Cup 31 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_31). This has created some confusion for supporters of the potoroos. Local fan, conundera, puts it quite simply. “Are we a crap side that is having a lot of luck or are we an ace side that people have underrated?”

We spoke to local star, phazel, for her opinion on the matter. “To be honest, we have surprised ourselves,” says the modest potoroo defender. “I think you have to consider the team’s consistency. In 9 games we have only had one bad match. That was the first game of the qualifiers when we went down playing away to Bazalonia (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Bazalonia). We are hosting them in our next match and have big plans to avenge that loss. The only other defeat was a creditable nil-1 away result against the current champions and world # 2, Bedistan (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Bedistan). I would plump for underrated good side. There’s nine more qualifying matches so time will reveal all.”

CALLS TO END BLOODSUCKING COMPETITION

Following the foiled leech attack on the Frosty Hollow (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Frosty_Hollow) stadium the national council of magistrates have requested that Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo) reconsider the holding of its famous bloodsucking competition (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo#Bloodsucking). Local magistrate, snapisnapiestu, admits that regretfully she must concur with the findings of the council. “With the latest genetic manipulations we now have leeches that can rapidly kill people by sucking them completely dry in minutes. The organisers don’t have the resources to monitor whether entrants have been genetically modified so I think it’s time to call it quits.”

President of the Bloodsucking Federation, yorgount, is resigned to the demise of the event. “For many years now our leeches have put Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo) on the map. It has been the mainstay of our economy. However, with the soon to be completed Ootopia Forest football stadium we will have a new venue and international events to replace the old bloodsucking competition (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo#Bloodsucking).”

POTOROOS CONTINUE FORWARD MARCH IN BACKWARDISTAN

Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) reached the half-way mark of World Cup 31 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_31) qualifying with a 2-4 victory over Backwardistan (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Backwardistan). Highlight of the game was the goal scored by 19 year-old local rookie, zenoida, in the 40th minute - her first goal in international football. “It was a bit of gimme really,” says the youngest member of the national squad. “The archangel split open the defence and ran forward down the field. I found myself free and ran a parallel course with her. It was a case of 2 against the goalie. rosaniel passed to me, the keeper was off-balance and unable to get into position. The Backwardis claimed I was off-side but the referees found otherwise.”

The Backwardis call themselves a Noitan Esrever (Reverse Nation in English, Foocdoop in Oo). The potoroos found this epithet well deserved. “It’s not just their language that is arse about,” says zenoida. “They are pretty much the antithesis of Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera). The people are horribly oppressed in just about every way possible – politically and personally. And all this is done for the sake of money which rules supreme. Some of the nations we visit are too horrible for words. I’m so glad we don’t have to play Eseck (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=eseck) or Raging Penguins (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Raging_Penguins). Those places sound like hell. Didn’t we host Eseck in a friendly once?”

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Backwardistan.png
Backwardistan (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Backwardistan) 2
Rekir 35
Ulus Urakih 62

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) 4
addicksonia 28
zenoida 40
silvu 44
rosaniel 81

The Adventures of SuperDude
World Cup Special Edition Story

Innocence of Gaol

Page 1:
Panel 1:

This scene was vaguely familiar, there where two men an a door. One of those men was in a security guard Uniform. A small but visible card swipe machine could be identified on the wall. You could tell that the security guard was Vilitan but not the other man. His back was towards the reader as was heading towards the security guard. Though also the unknown man was also familiar. However the man spoke "Hello Hluali". "Hi Sir. Can I have your swipe card please."

Panel 2:

The man handed a swipe card over to the security guard in a manner that with some magnification tricks from the drawers of the comic that we identified the man as Seruuian Riasska, the Secuity Manager for the Football Association of Vilita, or FAV,

Panel 3:

The security guard pressed his hand against a handprint reader and swiped Seruuian's ID card through the reader with his other hand. "There you go sir, Access has been granted." said the Guard. Seruuian replied with "Thanks."

Panel 4:

Seruuian started walking through the door, just blackness between the doors ahead, that had once again been opened. There was the world cup trophy there but not anymore. Seruuian's mobile (cell) phone was in his right pocket and it started to ring.

Page 2:
Panel 5:

"Hello, Seruuian Riasska." he said on the phone. "Seruuian, I need to speak with you NOW." said the voice on the other end of the phone. "Where?" he asked. "In the Alley behind 'Esemar's Eatery'." replied the voice before adding. "And Hurry,".

Panel 6:

"Heh, Looks like I have an urgent meeting I forgot." said Seruuian Riasska to the Guard, the guard made no sound but you could see a slight smirk, if you looked hard, penetrate his exterior. The pace that Seruuian Riasska had was one of long strides and you could certainly tell that the man was moving and relatively fast for a man of his age too.

Panel 7:

"TAXI", Seruuian Riasska called on the street out in front of the FAV building waving his arms trying to get the attention of a Taxi he saw in the distance.

Panel 8:

The Taxi had pulled up and Seruuian Riasska was getting into it. "Esemar's Eatery, and step on it." he said reaching for the door readying to close it behind him once he had entered the Taxi.

Page 3:
Panel 9:

The Taxi had pulled up outside of 'Esemar's Eatery' a neon-sign saying Esemar's Eatery was partly visible in the panel. "Thanks, Here you go and keep the change." said Seruuian Riasska as he handed an unknown amount of money over to the Taxi driver.

Panel 10:

"Now where is this alley?" Seruuian Riasska thought to himself as he looked around. "Ah, there it is" he finished thinking finally spoting an obvious entry right beside Esemar's Eatery.

Panel 11:

"Hello? Anyone here?" Seruuian Riasska asked not seeing anybody. The alley was unusually absent of graffiti in any form by international standards but not by Vilitan, "Good thing, about the mauling of those and their so called 'street-art'" he thought to himself as he made his way down the alley

Panel 12:

"Well, he did say behind the place." Thought Seruuian Riasska as he noticed the alley that obviously supplied the eatery with the deliverys that are required. In fact a delivery truck just pulled out of the alley and head down the other way.

Page 4:
Panel 13:

Having turned around the Corner Seruuian Riasska saw something that shocked him... "No it couldn't be" he said in shock. The Panel was an up-close shot of his face saying the previous words and a real big and deep emotion of shock and horror was splashed across his face. There was no indication at all at what the item was, only that the item caused deep distress to the Security Manager.

Panel 14:

Now you all are probably wondering what the item was, well, the item was a Golden Lion statue, the same one that appeared way back just after Matchday 1 and 2. The Golden Lion was partly in sun and partly in shade from the building, 'Esemar's Eatery' and partly the angle of the sun which could be partly seen in the sky. The Shoulders mainly of the Statue where visible due to the angle of light.

Panel 15:

Seruuian Riasska squatted down and touched the Golden Lion, there seemed to be no reaction of the statue to the touch but there was a reaction somewhere else to the touch. "FREEZE SCUMBAG" came an unknown voice from outside the panel.

Page 5:
Panel 16:

“Seruuian Riasska, you are under arrest for the theft of the World Cup Trophy." said a VOIA Agent with his gun drawn having it aimed at Seruuian Riasska, the security manager of FAV. "But I'm innocent." replied Seruuian Riasska. "You are the only being able to steal the World Cup Trophy." "What about a SuperVillian, Max Mactor, Gill Bates..." "Sorry, only you". The VOIA agent interrupted.

Panel 17:

"No way, I am going to prison!" Seruuian Riasska exclaimed as he started running as if it was for his life. His face an expression of determination and it the drawing shown the man in mid stride showing exactly how long his stride was. With that speed implied he certainly had the chance to escape even though there was a "BANG!!" as the VOIA agents gun went off.

Panel 18:

This was a small panel, Seruuian Riasska, had been shot by the VOIA Agent as he was running away and had just reached the corner of the Alley, The man's body followed the expected laws of physics as he was shot with a high-speed projectile and blood exploded from the mans back. In addition Seruuian Riasska spat some blood out of his mouth.

Panel 19:

This showed the dead Seruuian Riasska lying on the ground a pool of blood growing, the expression on his face though while still dead was that of agony, both from that of being shot by a gun and that of the internal agony of being accused of something that he had not done. Next to him was a Vilitan news paper that contained a short report on the Bazalonia - Bedistan match. "Bedistan Bounces Bazalonia" was the headline.

Installments of 'The Adventures of SuperDude'

Comic 1: Origin of SuperGnome (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821042&postcount=74)
Comic 2: Fair-weather Fauxhan Football (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11825105&postcount=112)
Comic 3: Plot of Gold (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11829289&postcount=149)
Comic 4: News of the Utmost Urgency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11833811&postcount=195)
Comic 5: While the Dude is away... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11839019&postcount=232)
Comic 6: A Super Struggle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11845207&postcount=285)
Comic 7: When 4 is not enough (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11849304&postcount=315)
Comic 8: Super Soccer League (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856645&postcount=377)
Comic 9: The Trouble with Tribunals (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861858&postcount=409)
Comic 10: Innocence of Gaol
Comic 11: Atheistic Left (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11875233&postcount=484)
Comic 12: Chasing Icharus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11879501&postcount=512)
Comic 13: Taking the Lap to the top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11883787&postcount=550)
Comic 14: A Hard Day at the Office (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11885180&postcount=562)
Comic 15: Hobble, Hobble, Where fore art thou, Hobble (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11893685&postcount=608)
Comic 16: Into the Lion's Den (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11897881&postcount=634)
Comic 17: The Lion Revealed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11902353&postcount=657)
Comic 18: Den of Destruction (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11907342&postcount=686)
Comic 19: Rejoice in Return (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11912715&postcount=716)

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"...right. Absolutely. I promise in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - no more 'accidentally' dropping player's names. As God is my witness. Promise. Truly..."

"Erm, I think the mic's live, Fr. John..."

"So it is, Fr. Nicholas! Well, then welcome to another exciting edition of 'World Cup Tonight' - only the second of this qualifying campaign!"

"And last night had the Archregimancy playing at home to Squornshelous, the... well.... 'Pschychoes'. Any thoughts on that unusual squad nickname, Fr. John?"

"Absolutely, Fr. Nicholas. You notice all of those Slavic and Greek names in the Squournshelous squad sheet? Petrov, Petchukov, Nedvinskiy, Khabarov, Kuznetsov, Xenakis...."

"Yes.... Your point?"

"And remember 1 Corinthians 3:18-19.... Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness."

"Aha! I think I see where you're going with this, Fr. John...."

"Or put more succinctly - and here I quote from The Law of God, published by Holy Trinity Monastery - One form of the ascetic Christian life is called foolishness for the sake of Christ. The fool-for-Christ set for himself the task of battling within himself the root of all sin, pride. In order to accomplish this he took on an unusual style of life, appearing as someone bereft of his mental faculties, thus bringing upon himself the ridicule of others. In addition he exposed the evil in the world through metaphorical and symbolic words and actions. He took this ascetic endeavor upon himself in order to humble himself and to also more effectively influence others, since most people respond to the usual ordinary sermon with indifference. The spiritual feat of foolishness for Christ was especially widespread in Russia."

"So, putting it bluntly, Fr. John, your theory is that these so-called 'Pschychoes' are in fact Fools for Christ in the classic Orthodox sense."

"Why, do you have a better theory?"

"Not really. But what about all of those non-Slavic and Greek names on the Squornshelous roster?"

"Ermmmmm, well, errrrr.... how about we talk about last night's match instead, Fr. Nicholas?"

"But... the other discussion was just getting interesting... those Scandinavian names, for example...."

"And a classic match it was, Fr. Nicholas, I'm sure you'll agree, with the lead constantly changing hands over the course of a pulsating encounter...."

"And there's some Estonian names too...."

"There are Estonian Orthodox, Fr. Nicholas. Anyway, our number 6 opened the scoring in the 12th minute with this fine long-range rocket from outside the area. Not to be outdone, Igor the Fool for Christ Khabarov equalised for the visitors with an almost as spectacular shot from the edge of the area in the 18th minute. The visiting Fools for Christ then took the lead in the 29th minute following some delightful approach work from Ivan the Fool for Christ Benalli and Oleg the Fool for Christ Petrov, leading to this elegant chip from Iannis the Fool for Christ Xenakis. 2-1 to the visitors at half time, and our unbeaten record looked in real trouble against the group's number 1 seeds."

"And 'Haraldur Sanguine'.... that's not a very Orthodox name, is it? More sort of Franco-Icelandic...."

"The lads rallied in the second half, with our anonymous number 10 soon levelling the scores in the 51st minute after this defence-splitting pass from our number 7 left our number 10 one on one with Anders the Fool for Christ Peterson. Twelve minutes later, and it was 3-2 to the Archregimancy... Goran the Fool for Christ Renberg inadvertently handled in his own penalty area after a corner from our anonymous number 8 caused havoc in the visitor's defence. The resulting perhaps slightly harsh penalty was converted by our anonymous number 5, and Pschychoes assitant manager Pavel the Fool for Christ Andreev was shown a red card for dissent after vehemently complaining over the penalty to the fourth official - and I must say that many neutrals will feel some sympathy for Andreev. Despite Igor the Fool for Christ Khabarov rattling the crossbar in the 87th minute, the score ended 3-2 - a famous victory for the Archregimancy. And you know what that means, Fr Nicholas, don't you?"

"Not really, Fr. John. If your 'fools for Christ' theory is correct, we've had one bunch of holy men beat another, which leaves me theologically confused. It's so much easier when we're beating Catholics. You know where you stand with schismatics...."

"No <sigh>. It means that at the halfway point, with Iansisle upsetting Spaam, we're the only unbeaten team in Group 9!"

"And yet, somehow, Fr. John, we're also the only unbeaten team sitting outside a qualifying spot. I can't help but notice Tadjikistan have an identical record to us, and are in a qualifying position five points clear of fourth."

"Well.... no one said this was going to be easy Fr. Nicholas...."

"And suffering is good for the soul, Fr. John...."

"Absolutely. And I have a feeling we're in for plenty of suffering yet before this campaign is over...."

Spindomian National Telegraph

Spindomian Team Loses to Penguins

Spindomia lost a hard fought contest at Raging Penguins after 2 goals from Deadly Penguin. The first goal came after a bizzare man in a strange yellow trenchcoat stormed the pitch and threatened the Spindomian players with a very, very large gun, allowing for a free shot at goal. The second goal came from a long range shot, which rebounded off the linesman and into the Spindomian goal. Late in the game, the goalscorer was sent off for the use of Piano Wire on the referee, who is now recovering in hospital. Despite this, the penguins held on for the win.

Group 1 Essek Controversey Comes to an End
This week the King of Essek condemed the sacrifices that Essek has been performing, and they have now come to an end. This decision could be the end of the debate between Arridia and Group 1 countries, after Arridia asked teams to boycott games with Essek. The SFA Chief, Henrik Limerwis, today said that, although the team were never going to boycott matches, citing the action as "unnecessary", it has taken a strain off them, and that they hope Essek "never return to their murderous practices"

ESECK Times

The team getting ready to play more Football after a long bye week and are expected to be in full power when the come back games begin. Captain Adrich Richards has given people hope by saying that those two loses, could've been prevented and Eseck was actually better than most people say. "We're not a fluke and yes we did play against the number one, but football is a game were you put 22 men [reffering to all humanoid persons] on the field 11 on each side and you play a little game of kicking the ball into the goal whover can score wins and any team that has had some experience can win and we Eseckis have had enough experience to be able to play descent and score enough wins to qualify us."

The House of Lords Passes ban The House of Lords was finally able to pass a ban on Human Sacrifices. The ban was a writter bill on a Military fundings act. This ban will impead people from sacrificing any kind of human or for that fact living thing if found guilty the defender will have to spend from 10-20 years in prison, no early parole, a million Capts fine and we'll be on the Heretic list on the internet until he/she repents and turns to Esecki religion. The Kasama is expected to sign it today at noon.

Far Far Away Courier

Relur Emerpus: 'The World Doesn't Know Us. That Must Change'

Relur Emerpus Max Powers was shocked to find out that many nations in the world don't know Backwardistan at all. Even nations in the nearby Uhuhland region (geographically Backwardistan is part of Uhuhland, but not politically) seem mostly unaware. 'When a North-West Ariddian comedian (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tarob_Veyidgas) can fool people into thinking he is really a Backwardistani by making up the most ridiculous nonsense about our nation, something really must be done to improve our image,' a government spokesman said. He then continued to correct some of the most common misconceptions about our nation. A summary follows:

One of the biggest misconceptions about our nation is the name. The Noitan Esrever of Backwardistan does not translate into English as the 'reverse' nation at all. We are the Esrever nation of Backwardistan. It is the name of our language. It is just a bizarre coincidence the language looks a bit like it's merely reversed English. And another thing. We are most definitely not known as Backwardis. A person from Backwardistan is a Backwardistani, the plural form of that is also Backwardistani.

A lot nations also seem to think the people of Backwardistan are being oppressed. This couldn't be any further from the truth. When the Bram the Bored corporation settled on the Far Far Away islands, the Backwardistani were oppressed, but thanks to our Relur Emerprus, BtB saw they had been wrong, and the Backwardistani became a free people again. We may seem oppressed, but that can only be blamed on the lawlessness of the rest of the world. Backwardistani people love to work hard, 80 or more hours per week and for little money. We don't work just for the money, we do this for our country.


Errinundera Underestimated

Coach Rehsurc admits he underestimated the Errinundrians. 'We were under the impression they all lived in trees, so I sort of assumed they wouldn't know what football was, because that isn't played up in a tree. It would appear I was wrong about that, just like the referees are wrong about claiming that goal in the 40th minute was valid. That zenoida was off-side, I saw it with my own eyes, but even with 2-3 we would have lost so I am not going to contest that goal. Let them have it.'

Backwardistan 2 - 4 Errinundera
Rekir [35] addicksonia [28]
Ulus Urakih [62] zedonia [40]
silvu [44]
rosaniel [80]


The Qualifications In Numbers

Team stats
Group standing: 5th of 10 (top 3 qualifies for World Cup)
Overall standing: 52nd of 100, with 12 points
Goals scored: 25th, with 24 goals scored
Goals conceded: 83rd, with 23 goals conceded


---------+----+----+----+----+----+----
| P | W | D | L | GF | GA
---------+----+----+----+----+----+----
BoF 18 | 9 | 8 | 1 | - | 22 | 5
WC 31 Q.| 9 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 24 | 23
---------+----+----+----+----+----+----
Total | 18 | 11 | 4 | 3 | 46 | 28
---------+----+----+----+----+----+----


Player stats

----+----+------------------+----+----
No.|Pos.| Player |Goal|Caps
----+----+------------------+----+----
1 | GK | Ekip Rehpotsirhc | - | 18
2 | DF | Snessnaj Mij | - | 18
3 | DF | Ulus Aromed | - | 18
4 | MF | Niam Xof | - | 18
5 | MF | Seyer Ogeid | - | 17
6 | MF | Liv Eoz | - | 18
7 | MF | Yremogtnom Oel | - | 18
8 | MF | Sirbened Agutam | 1 | 18
9 | FW | Yawenaj Nyrhtak | 10 | 18
10 | FW | Ulus Urakih | 22 | 18
11 | FW | Rekir Mailliw | 11 | 18
----+----+------------------+----+----
12 | GK | Rehcra Nahtanoj | - | 2
13 | DF | Oksis Nimajneb | - | 4
14 | DF | Dracip Cul-Naej | - | 4
15 | MF | Krik Semaj | - | 3
16 | MF | Yblehs Htebazile | - | 3
17 | MF | Drannik Assilem | - | 5
18 | MF | Nrot Derfla | - | 1
19 | MF | Enak Htes | - | 2
20 | FW | Us Refinnej | 2 | 7
21 | FW | Yremogtnom Atsirk| - | 4
22 | FW | Dlog Divad | - | 2
----+----+------------------+----+----

The Daily Quak
Quakmybush's Longest Running Daily Newspaper
Stats & A Second Half Preview

The situation for the Quakmybush National Soccer Team is better then most think. They sit two points out of a qualifying spot with nine games left. The standing are currently like this.

Team GP W T L PTS GF GA GD
Starblaydia (1) 9 8 0 1 24 29 9 20
Qazox (45) 9 6 2 1 20 25 11 14
Raging Penguins (51) 9 6 0 3 18 22 12 10
Eseck (131) 9 5 2 2 17 15 10 5
Quakmybush (29) 9 5 1 3 16 18 10 8
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (20) 9 5 0 4 15 18 19 -1
Spindomia (84) 9 3 0 6 9 13 20 -7
Rordia (63) 9 2 1 6 7 11 22 -11
Nikea (90) 9 1 0 8 3 9 22 -13
Assgeai Developments (UR) 9 1 0 8 3 8 33 -25

Advantages fore the Sharks: A higher goal differencial than Eseck, and colse to the same with Raging Penguins.

Disadvantages for the Sharks: Out of the four team in front of them, for the first round of games they only got 1 out of 12 points from them. (2-2 Draw with Qazox)

The team has been scoring alot more goals then they generally do, mostly due to Jon Fields. He has nine goals in nine games. Here are they players stats.

GP G
Jon Fields 9 9
Matthew Graves 5 3
Cory Sorley 9 2
Andrew Plett 9 2
Ben Miller 9 1
Ryan Fret 9 1
Jorge Valez 9 0
Greg Hughes 9 0
Harry Gait 9 0
Bob Hughes 9 0
Mike Martin 9 0
Chris Bricking 2 0
Joey Sturm 2 0
Travis Gerts 2 0
Darrel Ralegigh 2 0
Frank Manu 1 0
Micheal Dets 1 0
Cameron Juteer 1 0
Gary Tertes 1 0

Cam Caroll is standing on is head, as per usual. He has only allowed 10 goals in nine games. He is they only keeper to play so far, however we have heard reports that Hubert Yurt may start some games in the second half. Here are the Keeper Stats.

GP W D L GA GAA
Cam Carroll 9 5 1 3 10 1.111111111
Allan Brooks 0 0 0 0 0 N/A
Hubert Yurt 0 0 0 0 0 N/A

Stats for the team:
Overall Standings: 38th with a 5-1-3 Record and 16 points.
Goals For: 41st, with 18
Goals Against: 17th, with 10

The second half will, obviously, very important. We here at the Daily Quak do believe that Eseck will slide, and that the Sharks will be able to pass Raging Penguins. Here is what we think the final finishing order will be.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Starblaydia.png - Will probably go perfect in the second half to finish with a 17-0-1 Record

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Quakmybush.png - Yes, this probably is bias, but we do believe they will get enough points to finish 2nd.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Qazox.png These guys will qualify for their first World Cup, finishing third in the qualifying group.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Andossa_Se_Mitrin_Vega.png - They will make a late charge, however it will be to little to late.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Raging_Penguins.png - They will have their qualifying chances go up in smoke..... no literally

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Eseck.png - It just won't happen

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Spindomia.png - They will hover around where they are now.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Rordia.png - It appears that their women's team is better then their men's is.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Nikea.png - They just don't have the drive.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Assegai_Developments.png - Wooden Net, Spoon, and Boot for the group.

Games to watch: October 28th vs Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, this will be a very important game for the Sharks, a loss here could be disasterous.

October 31st vs Qazox, this game could be a "scare" for the Sharks, points here is important.

November 1st vs Raging Penguins, this could be the game where the Sharks get past the Penguins in the standings.

November 3rd vs Eseck. The Sharks will come out flying for this one, hopefully to put Eseck in their place, towards the bottom of the table.

November 5th vs Starblaydia. The final game of qualifying, who knows what the situation could be at this time.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif

Flock in Florida Falter



It all went sour for Vumaou's Flock as they dropped a dissapointing decision to lower ranked Marion Oaks 2, falling from their perch atop the Group 10 table and into the clutches of Spruitland, Oliverry, and more worringly, Ropa-Topia who sit in fourth just behind the top three. It was especially dissapointing for head coach Vumaou who had earlier in the competition set a goal of going into the midway point ahead of rival nation Spruitland.

"If we can go into the halfway point ahead of them, it would really put us in good position to advance" Vumaou previously had said. "If we go in behind them, and don't beat them the second time around, we could be in serious trouble."

So the Flock now has a goal ahead of them and that is to record a victory over the Wabbits in their next meeting, while not faltering anymore against lower opposition. Top seed Fmjphoenix seems to be down and out, but Ropa-Topia is still within striking distance and the Eels will have to be wary if they have plans to advance further in the competition


http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/turori.gif Turori Eels 1
http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/sports/wc/images/buttons/marion_oaks_2.gif Marion Oaks 2 1




http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11816559&postcount=43)

World Cup xXxI :: The Turori Story

[0] :: Vumaou's Flock Returns Again (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11821807&postcount=83)
[0] :: Flock not Kitting Around for WC xXxI (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11824204&postcount=94)
[1] :: Flock downs Lexington Cats (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11828693&postcount=141)
[2] :: Checkpoint Karela: Achieved (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11832859&postcount=177)
[3] :: Checkpoint Karela: Failed (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11838009&postcount=219)
[4] :: Topia Roped: Eels Breathe at Top (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11842118&postcount=255)
[5] :: Lovisa Lose. Turori Win. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11846814&postcount=295)
[6] :: Vumaou's Flock in Viking Raid (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11851620&postcount=334)
[7] :: Point Taken, Death and the Dreams that follow. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11856310&postcount=375)
[8] :: Disterfred Supports Ariddian Stance (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11861689&postcount=407)

Halfway through the World Cup, and Casari was perfect.

They were 9-0-0, too.

And to commemmorate such an insanely important event, there was only one solution.

Bribe them with beer.

The commercial, of course, was very well done. Watch the best players in the nation bring home a perfect record- and if they do, a free twelve pack for everyone of drinking age in Casari.

And there was much rejoicing. As long as the momentum kept going, who would say they couldn't?

But there was another aspect to the deal, of course. All deals have more than one part to them in Casari, just because they can more than anything else.

---=--=---

"Free." Edmonds said, his jaw a bit slack.

"Free." The company president said, standing in front of the team.

"For life."

"For life."

Nodding at Hill, the president walked out of the locker room, leaving the players in a bit of a daze.

Darcosi whistled. "It's a shame I don't drink all that much."

Robert Ness blinked. "Well, maybe you better start. We could put the company out of business, you know."

"Naaa, there's got to be some kind of clause in the deal like that."

"I dunno, they did say free for life." Walburg said, looking around. "Don't we have the contract of the deal someplace?"

Hill blinked. "You know."

"We're busy now, Hill, go get us the contract." Deo said, scratching his head. "Well, it's probably buried down pretty deeply if it's not."

"How deep can it be? It's a contract for free beer, it's not the Core Laws." Leir said, tracing the slots in the lockers with her finger. "It can't be more than a few pages."

Hill blinked and stood silently for a second before leaving the locker room to get the paperwork. It was clearly apparent that understanding the free beer contract was more important than any soccer skill today. Returning with it, the argument had already reached yelling perportions by the time she walked through the door.

"Thanks, Hilly." Reimar said, grabbing the contract from her. "The thing is like thirty pages long! Clark, you were a Law Major in school for a few months, see if you can understand this." He said, handing off the contract.

Hill sighed. Today was going to be a long day.

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f141/DarthBunny/ns_stuff/sg-title.png
Read SG online - http://sports.rta/gazette/

Halfway And Qualification Still In Sight
by Charles Neumann

Ropa-Topia has played nine matches so far, which means the qualification matches for the World Cup are half over. Against all odds, Ropa-Topia is still very close to making the top 3 of the group, as we are only 2 points below the number three (Oliverry), and only 4 points below Spruitland, the number one of the group.

What's ahead for Klungelaer and his team? Fmjphoenix, Oliverry, Spaamanian Plijous, Turori, Lexington SC, Bushes Been Quaked, Spruitland, Marion Oaks 2, and Lovisa, all a second time. How that will end we will find out in the next few weeks, but how Ropa-Topia has done so far we can look at right now.

Not just in their group they've been doing very well, also overall. With 18 points they are 31st out of the 100 nations currently competing. That is four places higher than Ariddia (who have 17 points). The other nation from Uhuhland-but-not-really, Backwardistan is 52nd with only 12 points.

When it comes to scoring goals, Ariddia is better than both, with 27 goals scored, the communist nation is ranked 16th. Backwardistan scored 3 goals less, which is good for a 25th place. At the 36th place we find Ropa-Topia with only 19 goals.

So of the Uhuhland nations (and Backwardistan) Ropa-Topia scored the smallest amount of goals, but the number of goals they conceded is also smaller. Only 12 of them, which means a 28th place. Ariddia did a bit worse than that, their goalkeeper let 14 balls pass, which results in place 40. Keeper Ekip of Backwardistan saw most goals get past him. No less than 23, officially, and 6 more that didn't count when they played Bedistan, during one of the strangest matches I have seen in a long time.

Team stats
Largest win this WC: 3-0 (Bushes Been Quaked and Lovisa)
Most surprising win: 3-1 (Fmjphoenix)
Worst defeat: 1-4 (Turori)

Largest win overall: 5-0 (Feidippides, Uhuhland Cup 3 semi-final)
Largest win, ESAT included: 32-0 (ESAT, Uhuhland Cup 3 group stages)
Worst defeat overall: 0-7 (Az-cz, BoF 17 second round)


WC 31 vs WC 30 & BoF 17

---------+----+----+----+----+----+----
| P | W | D | L | GF | GA
---------+----+----+----+----+----+----
BoF 17 | 13 | 5 | 3 | 5 | 16 | 22
WC 30 Q.| 14 | 4 | 4 | 6 | 12 | 18
WC 31 Q.| 9 | 6 | - | 3 | 19 | 12
---------+----+----+----+----+----+----
Total* | 36 | 15 | 7 | 14 | 47 | 52
---------+----+----+----+----+----+----
*: Does not include two Uhuhland Cups


Player stats

----+----+------------------+--------+--------
No.|Pos.| Player | Goals* | Caps*
----+----+------------------+--------+--------
1 | GK | Karolien Jaspers | - | 49 (9)
2 | DF | Peter Buzzard | - | 49 (9)
3 | DF | Synthia Carpenter| 1 | 49 (9)
4 | DF | Ruud van der Wal | - | 48 (9)
5 | DF | Erin Wall | 2 | 48 (9)
6 | MF | Mark Coenen | 3 (2) | 41 (7)
7 | FW | Bas Zadelhoff | 29 (3) | 49 (9)
8 | MF | Laurinda Baldwin | 16 (1) | 49 (9)
9 | FW | Anky Huybrechts | 37 (6) | 49 (9)
10 | MF | Kate Poorbaugh | 11 | 49 (9)
11 | FW | Yvon Hendrix | 16 (6) | 26 (9)
----+----+------------------+--------+--------
12 | DF | Jake Mitchell | - | 11 (2)
13 | DF | Dyson Stoute | - | 9 (2)
14 | DF | Ilona Bijlmakers | 2 | 11 (-)
15 | DF | Annie Groenedijk | - | 8 (2)
16 | MF | Paul Delsing | 2 | 10 (-)
17 | FW | Edmundo Garland | 4 | 17 (5)
18 | MF | Johan Claessen | 2 | 12 (2)
19 | FW | Carlton Ammons | 8 (1) | 40 (3)
20 | MF | John Hermans | - | 7 (-)
21 | FW | Marlyn Henley | 1 | 11 (1)
22 | GK | Alfred Leurs | - | 9 (2)
23 | GK |Melissa Zwanenberg| - | 16 (3)
----+----+------------------+--------+--------
*: Current World Cup between brackets

AG: Hello, and welcome to the Spindomia Broadcasting Companies, Mid World Cup Highlights show. Im Alexis Gerdin, and I am joined by former Spindomian national player, Mervin Kennedy.

MK: Good evening Alexis

AG: So, lets look back to the very start of the qualification campaign. Spindomia's 3rd attempt at qualification started with learning that, for the 3rd time in a row, they had been drawn with world number 1, Starblaydia. Spindomia were ranked at 84, making them the 7th highest seed in group 1, a relatively tricky group.

MK: Yes, some tough teams in there, as well as, obviously, Starbaydia, teams such as Andossa looked very tricky on paper.

AG: Moving into the first matches, a win over Rordia was a good start to the campaign, 2-1 over the team rated above Spindomia.

MK: Managing to pick up an away win, against a superior team, is always very good, and it really provided a platform for the rest of the matches

AG: Well, things turned slightly down after that, losing at home to lowly ranked Essek, 2-1 again, in a match that would become contreversial.

MK: Our defense couldn't handle Regde from Essek, and paid the price with 2 goals scored by him

AG: Things continued badly after a disappointing, yet slightly predictable, loss against Quakmybush, 2-1 in a 3rd consecutive game

MK: Again, just one player, Fields this time, cost us the game. It was another match we could have picked up points from.

AG: That left Spindomia exactly where their seeding predicted, 7th, after the first 3 games. They then lost, as expected, away to Starblaybia, despite hopes that they could improve on last times last minute 1-0 loss at the #1s. The run then continued with a desperately close 4-3 loss to high ranked Andossa.

MK: Another last minute goal, it was a thrilling match, but Spindomia couldn't quite hold on, it was turning into a very disappointing run at this stage.

AG: We then had a good match, 3-2 win over Nikea

MK: Yes, it was a good performance, but after so many hard games, the players were very tired after this

AG: And it showed, unranked Assegai thrashed the exhausted Spindomian team, 4-1, to bring up the first ever World Cup win for Assegai

MK: It was an awful performance, but you could see the run of games so close together had taken an effect.

AG: The players then had a necessary rest, and it worked wonders, the team pulling off a huge upset over high flying Qazox

MK: Although indisipline allowed for the 2 penalties to win the game, the players played very well to overturn such a huge gap in skill

AG: Then the loss to the penguins, in bizzare fasion

MK: Yes, well tey are a great team, and 1 out of 2 in those tough games is a great performance, they should be proud

AG: So, ahlf way through and in 7th, your thoughts?

MK: Its where we deserve to be, some inspired performances, and some pretty awful ones

AG: And what do you think for the 2nd half of the qualification?

MK: Well, qualification is out of the question, but a climb up into the 4th/5th/6th mix up would be very good.

AG: Thats all we have time for tonight, from myself and Mervin Kennedy, goodnight

Taki~l Kamete~n: Why aren’t we watching the Orange-Blues?

Ehesalakeke Xeda: We watch them every week, and they concede!

Taki~l Kamete~n: So do the han-hi-len-ly slani Capitalizts!

—————

Malone: Hello, and welcome to Aeropag Tribune Sports Network’s coverage of the World Cup qualifiers. I’m Vera Malone—

Ehrensperger: —and I’m Nedeljko Ehrensperger. We’re here under the lights at the Sokojito Überdome, awaiting the biggest qualifying match in the history of Capitalizt football—Capitalizt SLANI versus Krytenia.

Malone: Let’s start off by taking a look at the history behind this match. Some of you may remember the first match of World Cup 26, the first match played at the Überdome—you guessed it!—between Capitalizt SLANI and Krytenia.

Highlights are shown from the match.

Ehrensperger: Those nine goals are the record for the most goals scored in either a SLANI or a Krytenia match. Maybe we won’t get that many this time, but with both teams tearing through their other opponents with multiple-goal victories, I wouldn’t be surprised by five or six.

Malone: Let’s go down to the field, where the teams are about to come out in front of over four hundred thousand fans for this, the second meeting between these two teams.

The green/gold/blue/black/silver fans in the stands start cheering as the SLANI team runs into the stadium.

Ehrensperger: And what’s this? They’re coming out in green and gold! Anyone happen to know what kits these are?

Malone: And Krytenia now comes onto the field in their orange kits. I think those are the WC26 kits for the Capitalizts, Nedeljko.

Ehrensperger: Really? It looks different than the kits on that highlight video.

Malone: Oh…you’re right. We’ll try to sort that out later, but the game is about to get underway.

Ehrensperger: Krytenia kicks off…pass back to Cooper…he passes it back to the keeper Barradez, who gives the ball a whack—it’s towards the goal, Kuban-Schnellfrieder moves up to catch it…it goes behind him! GOAL! Krytenia up 1–0 already!

Malone: We predicted it’d be high-scoring, but 1–0 in the thirteenth second? Is that a record?

Ehrensperger: I think Hash n Beans might have scored a bit earlier in one of their World Cup 12 matches, but it’s hard to find any reliable stats from that era.

박손석 (Bag Son-sūg): I just spoke with coach Thacker—apparently those kits the Capitalizts have are from the World Cup 15 title game, the Capitalizts’ second match and their first in green and gold. Of course, they won that one on penalty kicks, which isn’t an option here.

—————

90th minute

Malone: And, for those of you watching this on ATSN Rejistania, we apologize for the connection difficulties, Krytenia are now ahead four to three on an header by number one–backwards F, Josh Quinnell. It appears that the Capitalizts are about to make another substitution, it’s Arnold Sims off for—Alejandro Bolúfero‽ He’s in the game, and the Capitalizts are fired up! Will he be enough to turn this one-goal deficit around?

Ehrensperger: Tserkesidis kicks off for the Capitalizts, he passes back to Tokay…it’s back to Tserkesidis…pass to Bolúfero…he backs up to get the ball…he tries to run the ball back to find an opening! He passes to Kub—no, he strikes! He realizes his mistake! GOAL! Bolúfero seals the game for Krytenia!

Malone: And it’s deafening here at the Überdome! The Krytenian fans are ecstatic, the Capitalizts don’t realize what happened! Five–three Krytenia!

Ehrensperger: The fourth official holds up his board—only two minutes of injury time! This game is all but over!

Malone: The Capitalizts kick off…remember, it was an own goal that gave the Capitalizts the win in the last game between these teams, so I suppose it’s only fitting that the same would happen here. The Capitalizts not making much happen here, though they’re doing an exceptional job of maintaining possession.

Ehrensperger: Now we’re into the second minute of injury time…Krišanović takes the ball down the wing…he’s alone with the keeper…he shoots! Over the crossbar!

Malone: And Barradez now taking his time with the goal kick…he finally takes it. He kicks it deep…Kuban-Schnellfrieder goes out to get the loose ball…it rolls harmlessly over the line. Goal kick, Capitalizts.

Ehrensperger: Or not! They blow the whistle! Krytenia with the win! The first loss for the Capitalizts in twenty-six qualification matches!

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About mEl_23 :: Recent entries :: Archive :: Friends

Wow
Of course I was kidding about going to play for ESAT, but getting over a hundred comments telling me to stay because I am not a bad goalkeeper does make you feel better anyway :D

posted by mEl_23 - 45 comments


Woot, 28th! We rule!
Only 12 goals conceded! And yes... I know, a few of those were my fault, and it could have been less. I am a really bad goalkeeper, okay. Next year I will be playing for ESAT instead. :p

posted by mEl_23 - 138 comments


Lovisa, lovely, 3-0!
Too bad it didn't become 4-0, or it would have been our biggest win so far, at least during this World Cup. Hmm, talking about big wins, I hope we are playing ESAT again in a next Uhuhland Cup, maybe this time I also get to score a goal or two.

posted by mEl_23 - 8 comments


One-nil!
This was our third match against Marion Oaks 2, as we met them before in the Baptism of Fire, before the previous world cup. They lost two times then, they lost now again. Ha! Losers :p

posted by mEl_23 - 13 comments


Spruitland
Today we lost our match against Spruitland. We lost this one, but if you need cheering up about that, go to Yvon's JBS for a hilarious video with Bas Zadelhoff impersonating Tarob if he had been a commentator for today's match. Oh, and if you are from Backwardistan, don't even think about burning our flag, just get a sense of humour. I looked it up, you do have a word for that in your language. Ruomuh fo esnes.

posted by mEl_23 - 9 comments


Older entries can be found in the Archive: [Here] (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11848995&postcount=311)

HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

HOLY EMPIRE MEEKLY CRASHES TO LIMP DEFEAT
Slaughter at Hands of 102-ranked Delesa Ends Qualifying Hopes

By Anna Comneno

After five extraordinary games, things were looking up for the Holy Empire: A record of three wins, one draw and one loss; a dramatic draw against Liverpool England featuring three injury time goals; an almost as dramatic 3-2 victory over Lisburn Mateys; the only loss to group second seeds Bettia.

Since then, however, the Holy Empire has gone on a four game winless streak. Before last night coach Juan Tzimisces could at least console himself with the thought that those losses were typically by single goal margins against the likes of Milchama and Yafor 2 - established sides who would always have been favoured to beat the Imperial squad anyway.

No longer.

Last night's pathetic 4-0 defeat at the hands of a 102-ranked Delesa team has finally exposed the flaws in the Imperial squad: a corrosive collapsing confidence, a reckless insistence on a 3-5-2 overlapping winger formation that leaves the back three hopelessly exposed, and a coach who - despite his undoubted achievements in and contributions to - Imperial football suddenly seems old, tired and unable to tactically adjust when the match is swinging against his squad.

The 'Tzimisces out' campaign starts here.

The Delesa debacle was all the more shocking in that the home team were only scoring an average of 1.375 goals a match going into last night's encounter, while the Holy Empire had been averaging 2.625 goals a match (a figure admittedly boosted by the 8-1 opening day victory over Socialist Romanistan). Delesa were also conceding more goals a game. On the basis of form, ranking, and involvement, the Holy Empire was expected to wipe the floor with Delesa - and rumours of huge bets by Tzimisces that his squad would win reflected that.

But no. Limp surrender was the order of the day. The back three of Palaeologo, Tzimisces Jr. and Erotico looked woefully out of sorts. Orphanatropho had a shocker in goal, the central midfield of Diacono, Maniaces and Burtzes could barely string a pass together, and Stratiotico miss of a 10th minute sitter seemed to deflate the entire squad.

Drastic changes are needed if the second half of the qualifying campaign isnt to bring total humiliation to the Holy Empire, and on current form fans are fooling themselves if they think we stand any chance of repeating our 8-1 thrashing of Socialist Romanistan in the next match as the second half of qualifying gets underway.

"Welcome once again to World Cup Sloths on SchiaSport TV, recorded slightly earlier from the King Francesco Stadium in Kingsbury. I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone."

"Well, Schiavonia escaped from Nebuleux with a two-all draw after a ferocious unified raspberry blowing and comical insults from the Sloth's local rivals. In international terms, at least."

"A very hard game, considering the atmosphere in the stadium, although we know it was all in good humour really. Nebuleux took the lead twice through André Rousseau and Étienne Molyneux, Schaivonia equalised twice, with Colin Chester and Will Caine rescuing a point for Schiavonia."

"Well, that's two games in a row where the Sloths have looked less than brilliant. Which is a shame, because for the six and a half games previously, they were brilliant. Oh, and there's the little matter of Rejistania coming here next week."

"You mean to say that we're not ready for them?"

"I think it will take a great boost for that to change. Although reports from Rejistania are of some less than impressive performances from the Orange-Blues, too. So this is an important match. The winner, especially if it is Schiavonia with their points advantage they have built up already, will get a huge confidence booster and will have one foot in the finals, while the other will be deep in a worsening run, looking over their shoulders at the likes of Tynelia, Az-cz and Green wombat."

"Not D2R?"

"Well look at that in a minute. Because the reason that we're here today, during a week without a Schiavonia game, is because we are bringing you the traditional SchiaSport mid-qualifying review."

"Even though every half-decent national broadcaster with a team in the cup have already done one?"

"Well... yeah. But they don't have us presenting it, right?"

"No. They have their own versions of us two. Probably more entertaining than us, too."

"Shut up, Fil."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Schiavonia.png

"I can't just shut up, we're reviewing our group now. Who's first?"

"WE ARE! Surely you must recognise that flag. You've seen them all at the games we've been commentating on."

"OK, let me guess the next one!"

"We haven't even reviewed us yet!"

"Oh. Sorry."

"Well, our boys are..."

"And girl!"

"Sorry, our boys and girl are doing very well so far, with the only minor blemish on our qualifying record the draw in Nebeleux. The last two performances have not been breathtaking, but they have proved that the Sloths can get going when the going gets tough."

"And where do you think we'll end up?"

"At the finals. We've already got a seven-point advantage over third place, and even if the confidence takes a dent against Rejistania, we only really need four or five wins from our current position. So you want to guess the next flag."

"Go on then..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Rejistania.png

"...Easy, Rejistania!"

"Of course you're going to get that. They're our near neighbours and the closest thing to a rival we have, as we battle with them for regional supremecy. Another nailed on qualifier, even if they do slip up when they come here."

"That was an easy one, give me something a bit harder."

"OK, how about this?"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Az-cz.png

"Conficustan."

"Who?"

"You've never heard of Conficustan?"

"Of course not. Because you've made them up!"

"I have not! They're a team from nationstates.scv."

"What the hell is that?"

"I'll explain it later."

"OK. Well this is actually Az-cz. Remember them? They play in the colours on the flag?"

"Duh! Of course! How stupid am I?"

"I won't answer that one. I'll tell you what, though. These gnomes and assorted others have put in some sterling performances to far, and have a run of home games to come. You wouldn't bet against them holding onto third, would you?"

"But then you wouldn't bet against Tynelia overthrowing them from that position, either, would you?"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Tynelia.png

"Is that Tynelia, then?"

"It is indeed."

"Maybe I should learn more of the flags of the world."

"Nah. Too many nations disappear. And there's thousands out there. Just the World Cup ones'll do."

"So Tynelia, then?"

"Like you just said, you wouldn't bet against them overhauling Az-cz."

"So what would you bet on, then? A tie?"

"I'd keep my money."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Green_wombat.png

"Hey, now I recognise this one from the pre-qualifying preview. It's Green wombat!"

"It most certainly is. Just two points behind Tynelia and Az-cz, Green wombat look to be in a good position. However, you can only really see one of the other two slipping up and letting them past. For both to do it would be highly unlikely, mehtinks."

"So they're going to almost challenge then not quite, you think?"

"Yup. Next flag..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Dance_2_Revolution.png

"For pity's sake, Mike. It's got D2R written on it. How easy do you want to make it?"

"Thought you'd get that one. As Dance 2 Revolution, holders of the Cup of Harmony fade away into the lower reaches of Group 3, it really would take something good to get them back up with the rest and pushing for the top three. They might be ranked as third best in the group, but they've done even less than I thought they would to prove that position to be correct so far. And I thought that they were going to suck, too!"

"For once, Mike, I'll admit that you were more right than I was."

"For once? I'd have thought you'd have made a habit out of it by now. Next flag..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/nebuleux.png

"Aw haw he haw! It's Nebuleux!"

"There's no need to be like that about them, is there?"

"Why not? They said nasty things to us. That my mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries."

"Well, that's Frenchie types for you, isn't it? As for their fate - not enough The League teams for them to mildly taunt and annoy, so they'll just loiter around their current level."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Sel_Appa.png

"So who is this, then?"

"This is Sel Appa. A team we were expecting to do well, but have turned out to, on the whole, be utter tripe."

"Oh."

"Fortunately for them, there are two teams of absolute no-hopers in the group..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Algal_States.png

"...although one of them have made it a little tough for a few teams at times."

"And they are... who might they be?"

"Algal States."

"The ones made up of the bacterial growths?"

"The very same."

"It's not a nice place, though, is it? I wouldn't want to play there."

"Neither would I. But last up are the type of team we all love to play against, if only because it's so easy!"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/pablicosta.png

"That must be Pablicosta, then."

"Good job recognising the flag there, Fil!"

"Not really. They were just the only team in the group that we hadn't covered yet."

"Do you think they are worth covering?"

"Not really."

"Shall we move on to the final prediction?"

"OK."

Group 3
1 Schiavonia
2 Rejistania
3 Tynelia
4 Dance 2 Revolution
5 Az-cz
6 Green Wombat
7 Sel Appa
8 Nebuleux
9 Pablicosta
10 Algal States

"That's the one from before Mathcday One. Get the new one up now!"

Group 3
1 Schiavonia
2 Rejistania
3 Tynelia
4 Az-cz
5 Green wombat
6 Dance 2 Revolution
7 Nebuleux
8 Sel Appa
9 Algal States
10 Pablicosta

"So now you're being unoriginal and predicting all the same as now except for one place?"

"Yup."

"You're so predictably predictable, Mike."

"Shut up, Fil."

"Well don't you want to know about that Conficustan I was talking about earlier?"

"Not really."

"Well I'm going to tell you about it anyway. It's part of a research project I've been doing about Schiavonia's other World cup team, JGN's Socialist Romanistan."

"JGN?"

"Jeruselem Government News."

"So if they're Jeruselem Government News Socialist Romanistan, why are they our other team?"

"Well, you'll have to tune in later in qualifying to find out. We're out of time now."

"Sounds like it could be quite interesting."

"It could very well be. We might even have found a future star for the Sloths, too!"

"Really?"

"Well tune in later in the campaign to find out what the devil I'm on about. Only on SchiaSport TV."

"And on Jeruselem Government News too, no doubt. Anyway, from myself and Fil, goodnight!"

Who is Vetu anyways?

Hexatux did it again: The computer has allowed a virtually unknown player to play a match for the Orange-Blues. Vetu Xeda is from the H3SR team Jakha Iru Relekhati and played as striker with Sylku Lyku Sikane'tes (and later with Syku Lyku Desnike'tes). The Nen player however was a good selection of the Orange-Blues: he scored 2 goals for the Orange-Blues and assisted Karela Ikaru for the 1:0. Together with Heje Kija, he is the second player from a low division, who was selected for the national team and absolutely impressed there. Heje Kija also had a great match and cleared several chances of the Selappans. It was basically her achievement that the zero stood for the Orange-Blues. If this trend continues, within 4 years, the national team will play in the H12SR and be absolutely invincible.


----
Meanwhile:

The mad scientist cackled when he saw subject 2 score for the Orange-Blues. Of course, what he did was rather immoral, but hey, what is wrong with some technological means to improve player qualities. After the match, he checked how his test subject 3 did in her league game. She is goalie in the H9SR and 2 weeks ago was not even in the starting lineup of her club.

Welcome to SportsTalk on RadioGaGaSporting I'm Stud hammock and today we're talking Futbol, and the TMK Soccer Kings. after a 2-1 win over Commerce Heights J-team we are now in 5th. beut let's look over theStandings and see who i think will go to the big show

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/New_Montreal_States.png

NMS is in P1 and should be a sure lock

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Cuation.png

Cution should be a lock for P2 or 3

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Tadjikistan.png

Tadjik who was in the top-10 in the beginning is starting to slip,I'm not shure they will make it

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Becquerelia.png

ol' Becky has been quiet but I wouldn't be surpriesed if they pass Tadjik

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/The_Mushroom_Kingship.png

The Soccer kings may have a chance if the two above us slip

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Aurendia.png

Auerindia's is behind us and could challange


http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Haraki.png

Haraki's one of the more dissapointing teams, much more has been expected out of them


http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/One_Red_Dot.png

Same Story with One Red Dot, Very Dissaponiting


http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Commerce_Heights.png

Explain to me why the hell did Commerece Heights put there J-team in? they're in eight place if they were so good to even enter Qualifyers why are they in Eigh Fucking place.


http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Adamica.png

Adamica sucks period.

And now........This just in off the wiretap TMK defreats Haraki 2-1 and after a Becquerelia loss sit in 4th spot. I'll get mangement to line up some phone interviews right here on Stud Sports only on RadioGaGa Sporting.