NationStates Jolt Archive

"3 matches, 3 draws, what a joke." commented Jeffory Constantine the goal keeper for the Bazalopes as he left the field after an interesting 1-all draw against Oliverry

"Hey, we should be glad we got to the world cup." commented Anthony creek a

"Yeah.. Blah, Blah, Blah Blah. Privilige world cup. Whatever" snidely comment Andrew, Anthony's brother. "We where this close to makin' it . If those f***in' forwards did their job and scored against the Sea Dragons then maybe we would have made it to the knockouts."

"Hey, Even the Sea Dragons where hard to compete against there defense is like it was made up entirely of you, Andrew." comment Peter Hobble as he joined in on the conversation "Three draws show that we a equal to the worlds best. Pity that we didn't get an extra point or 2 from ASMV or Oliverry though."

"You know what, I remember reading this paper saying that we shoulf be glad to get a point. And we got three so what are you guys complaining about. We did much better than anyone else expected us to do and we nearly got away into the knockouts ON OUR FIRST WORLD CUP Debut." commented Ben Peters.

"Aww come on Benny Boy, you always had to be such a logical person didn't ya." Andrew Creek commented with a sly smile.

"Hey watch it Creeky Boy, or someone might have to lay some smackdown on you."

"Oh, don't tell me you watch that stuff... Pro-Wrestling" said Peter

"You know what I've got something to show you when we get back to Bazalonia." a smile came across Ben's face as he said it.

What is it? Find out in the WCQ for WC 31!

Rolling Forward

Pschychoes to face Vikings, unless they've changed their names to Orange Stars as well
Squornshelous has continued their unbeaten streak from qualifying through the first round of the World Cup, going 14-3-0 to this point, and will now face off against a solid team from Fmjphoenix. Just a few KPB points below the Pschychoes in the world rankings. Squornshelous needs a win here to reassert themselves as a force to be reckoned with in the finals, after second round exits in the last two cups. This will likely be a barn burner of a match, with both sides playing a very attacking style. It will come down to whose strikers can put a better touch on the ball, and whose keeper is in the right place at the right time. This will be a match of inches, the winner will be the team that gets those lucky bounces, that chases after the loose balls harder, and consistently wins headers.

Neither side has a clear advantage when we look at the matchups. Both have a good mix of youth and experience, with players like Ridley Silverlake, Jack Russel and Brian Sado for the Vikings, and Isha Bergen and Igor Khabarov of the Pschychoes representing the former, and Squornshelous' Vasili Petrov, Goran Syvatov and Jeff Harris, and Fmjphoenix's Brian Dougood, Kayla Mi'kala and Mike Nolan providing plenty of the latter. A good mix of players lie between the rookies and the elders on both sides, including names like the Pshcychoes Iannis Xenakis while the Vikings counter with Andrew Jenkins and Brian Bash.

Even at goalkeeper, the teams are even. Justin Keys minds the net for the Vikings. He has several clean sheets to his name, and is just beginning to come into the prime of his keeping career. Timothy Purcell is the last man back for the Pschychoes, a veteran of four world cups, he began his time on the bench behind World Cup Hall of Fame keeper Jorge Fernandina, and then backing Ronald Beeman following Fernandina's retirement. He is a very good all around keeper, although he may not quite have the quickness he possesed in World Cup 29. Still, he is having a strong outing this time around, coming off a clean sheet victory over Cataduanes in the final match of the group stage.

So after totally dissecting each squad on paper, we find the two teams amazingly evenly matched. It will just end up coming down to which side wants it more. Whoever goes out there and leaves it all on the field will advance to the quarterfinals.

Just enough to get by

Paladins show no surplus of effort in draw against Psychos

THE ISLANDS OF QUTAR - The NMS Paladins underwhelmed yet again, merely managing a draw against an underacheiving McPsychoville side. Granted, all we needed was a single point to send us through to the second round, and we got that, but still. Liverpool England will slaughter us at this rate.

Once again, Paul Chasson was the panacea that kept the States on the straight and narrow, picking up nine saves. Chasson was the only player who earned his pay last night, as the offense completely failed in its duties yet again. McPsychoville's own goal in the 14th minute put the Paladins on the board. It has been over 180th straight minutes since a Paladin last scored a goal, a streak that is in desperate need of ending against LE in the round of 16.

So we've made two predictions of doom for the next round; are there any bright spots? Outside the goalkeeper's box, not really. The Paladins seem to be a team slowly breaking down from old age and a qualifying round way more difficult than it had to be. A win against the Terminators would be nice, sure, but this paper is calling a 4-0 blowout against us, as the offense continues to sputter and Chasson just faces too many shots to hope to stop them all.

PALADINS 1 - (own goal 14)
MCPSYCHOVILLE - (#9 29)

* Funky theme music *

Dazza: (Smiling) I'm Dazza the one-legged-pirate-girl
Rachel: And I'm hot chicky babe Rachel Kool
Dazza: OK, I'm not pirate wench but I am on crutches.
Rachel: But you can call us Football Wenches in you want to

Dazza: Jeruselem looked hopeless in Group D, needing to beat Quakmybush and hope Casari beat Bettia. We needed divine intervention, and some of God's angels.
Rachel: Ah, you see why Dazza smiling. If she was choking with tears, you know what happened.
Dazza: WE MADE THE 2ND ROUND (dances around despite the crutches)
Rachel: It's a miracle!

Dazza: We trashed Quakmybush FIVE ONE. You know I was sitting with the coach thinking the worst, and then Anna Goldstein went crazy. Dazza crazy!
Rachel: Anna Goldstein scored FOUR GOALS and GW Tree scored one. GW Tree rarely scores but what a time to do this.
Dazza: Oh yeah, you say me in the Women's World Cup final 3? Three goals but Anna's done better FOUR. Don't know what she's been drinking or eating latetly, but WOW
Rachel: Maybe, it's tight shorts but she scored in clutches of 2. In the 30th, 33th and then the 66th and 68th. You know I've never seen Jeruselem so excited before.

Dazza: Jeruselem fans turned up depressed today. They looked like we were going to fail. But this team are fighters, the women in this team have won two Women's World Cups and wanted more than just qualify. Top 32 was not good enough, as but the top 16 was going be a starting point.
Rachel: When the Bushies hit us with a goal, then thing went all quiet again - that goal really hurt us. The Jeruselem fans cheered up when Anna scored the first two goals, and then there was hope.
Dazza: Then GW Tree scored. Now, that's rare - err, can't remember when he scored a goal. He's shorter than me!
Rachel: You're not short, Dazza. You spent more time lying down on the field or in bed than standing up.

Dazza: Anyway, it was 3-1 and that still was not really good enough for Jeruselem. Luckily for us, the quakmybush team were rattled by the Jeruselem team's attitude, when once again Anna struck. Two more goals and suddenly we were 5-1 up. Jeruselem fans wer cheering us on and the opposition could not get a word in.
Rachel: It finished FIVE ONE and we hoped Casari who caused us grief could help us out by winning.
Dazza: Sure, enough Casari beat Bettia TWO NIL, which means we got through on goal difference. Jeruselems goal diffence back to zero and Quakmybush crashed to MINUS THREE.
Rachel: Jeruselem fans were in heaven for the day. We are ready - bring on the next opponent.

Dazza: Oh the poor Lions. They bow out, but with style. They looked more likely to make it but the Lions couldn't do it.
Rachel: Krytenia beat the Lions TWO NIL, but that is rather expected. Krytenia are best team in Group C for a reason.
Dazza: If it comforts the Lions, Dazza's going to have a holiday in Nedalia and she's dragging Finn along.
Rachel: Oh dear, Dazza does Nedalia! Watch out Nedalian soccer players, Dazza's coming to get you.

Dazza: Hey, I'm not that horny.
Rachel: You're worse than me, you know.
Dazza: Only a little ...
Rachel: I don't know about that, not the way you were acting after the win. Well, getting back the football. Sarzonia won their game and that knocked out Nedalia.

Dazza: In summary, Jeruselem fight another day and Nedalia crash out. It was supposed to be the other way.
Rachel: Jeruselem are back and watch out. There's no Dazza but we have Anna Goldstein.
Dazza: She's a nice girl
Rachel: Doesn't talk a lot though, unlike Dazza.

Dazza: (gets SMS) Hey, we found our opponent for the 2nd round
Rachel: Starblaydia, Bedistan?
Dazza: Actually, Schiavonia ... arrgh I have so much trouble saying Schiavonia
Rachel: That's OK then
Dazza: Didn't they stop us getting to the 2nd of the World Cup 29?
Rachel: Yes, but it's still better than Starblaydia.

Dazza: Speaking of talking, it's Yap Yap time. When I talk about football issues and err, my personal life.
Rachel: And we cut over the winners of wedding competition after this.
Dazza: A guy wants to know who's hotter - me or Rachel? For a Jew, it's Rachel and for teens it's me. Why choose? Two is better than one. That's why we are both hosting this show! Twice the fun too.
Rachel: But both us aren't single either - join the queue. I'm married as you all know.

Dazza: That's it for THE FOOTBALL LIFE. Sweet dreams boy and girls.
Rachel: And goodnight from me as well as pirate girl over here
Dazza: Oi, where's me parrot! (laughs)
Rachel: Look in the mirror Dazza
Dazza: Nah, there's a witch in there.

NINE RULES OF KRYTENIAN FOOTBALL

Remember those who have fallen.
Always respect the opposition.
Win in style.
Righteous is he who scores a hat-trick.

Claim every ball as if your life depended on it.
Run with the ball; pass short.
Underestimate the opposition at your own peril
Sweepers were made to be tormented.
Heroes wear sky blue.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MONKS CRUSHED BY BEDISTAN
Team Ends Vow of Silence To Defend Manuel II

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The failure of the Archregimancy's footballing monks to get at least a point from Fmjphoenix in their first World Cup match came back to haunt them last night as the squad were eliminated from the World Cup after they suffered their expected soul-strengthening defeat at the hands of the Lions of Bedistan.

"I'll refrain from making the obvious comparison with Daniel in the Lion's den" said team coach Fr. Polycarp the Venerable. "It remains that all the prayer in the world can't change the fact that the heretics and heathens of Bedistan are a top-class football team. Hell-bound, maybe, but very good footballers too."

In what was ultimately a frustrating campaign, the Archregimancy managed a win against Milchama, with a goal from Fr. Fyodor the Wonder Worker, but were disappointingly limp against the group's better teams, failing to score in either of the other matches. The squad are said to be engaged in prayerful reflection so as to better understand how they can take the next step up and consistently get results against the better nations.

In other news, the team meanwhile chose to end the vow of silence taken in the wake of the loss to Fmjphoenix in order to defend Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Palaeologus' writings on Islam. "The Basileus was a man of wisdom and character" said team captain Fr. Constantine the First-Called "and his criticism of Islam's use of Holy War as a means of spreading their faith - notwithstanding Sura 2's admonition that no one should be converted through coercion - should be understood in the context of his desperation to defend Constantinople from the Turk during Bayezid's siege of Manuel's capital."

When told by a reporter from an unknown nation that no one in the World Cup particularly cared about what Manuel II Palaeologus said about Islam, except possibly Bettia, Fr. Constantine was momentarily caught off-guard, before Fr. Brynach the Simple noted in turn that if they didn't, right now they probably should.

"Welcome back to World Cup Sloths on SchiaSport TV, live from the King Francesco Stadium. I'm still Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm still Filipo Schiavone, and here we are at Stonyshore by the lake in Welkay for Schiavonia's final Group A game against Total n Utter Insanity."

"Well, the scene is set, the equation simple. Avoid defeat, and Schiavonia will be in their second last sixteen appearance in a row!"

"If we lose, it's not that simple, though."

"No, a loss, then we have to rely on Yafor 2 getting a result against Rejistania. In other words, we'd probably be out."

"So, do you have the teams there, Mike?"

"Firstly, the Schiavonia line-up, just one change from their opening two games. Jack Holmes is in goal, The full-backs are Ed Fielding and Enrique Williams, Noel Fielding come in at centre back alongside Nicolai Ferreira, the midfield three are Will Caine, Eric Berry and Andy McGee, with Colin Chester, Jermaine Edwards and Seamus Bradley in attack."

"And for TnUI?"

"No idea."

"No idea?"

"Uhuh."

"How can you have no idea? Don't you have the team sheet?"

"I do indeed, but what I don't have is any names on it."

"No names?"

"None at all. Just a list of shirt numbers. And even then, it isn't something as simple as one to eleven. The goalkeeper, for instance, is number 413."

"That's insane!"

"Of course it is! Where do you think they got the name from?"

"Fair enough."

"So we'll just get used to the Insanician team as we go along. They will be kicking of, and it is number 73 and number 42,888 waiting to get started. And away we go, a long hoof forward, falls safely to the feet of Ed Fielding, who starts alongside his brother in their first competitive international today. And i think that ball was meant for Noel, but it's gone nowhere near him, Holmes should get it, though, but it's high, the sun is in his eyes... it's gone in! and Total n Utter Insanity lead through an Ed Fielding own goal after just nine seconds!"

"Is this how they have a one hundred percent record so far?"

"It seems to be that way, yes. Their win against Rejistania happened very much by accident."

"And against Yafor 2?"

"Ah, now come on! Even the Sloths beat Yafor 2!"

"Hey, we're not that bad!"

"I know, but now it is Schiavonia to kick off. Chester and Edwards get us under way. Chester lays it off to Bradley, who holds a couple of Insanisians off, 89.38 and -33, I think they were, and that's a magnificent through ball for Edwards, he sprints away from the defence, GOAL!!! 413 had no chance, and we're now just nineteen seconds in, and the game is at one-all."

"At this rate, the score could be in the hundreds by the end!"

- - - - -

Start of the second half...

"Well, after an entertaining opening minute, the first half was pretty dire. So let's see if the second half is any better. Schaivonia kick off, and the ball is laid back to Bradley. Edwards is charging towards the penalty area, are they going for the same kick-off routine again? They are, but 1337 gets his head to it. Only as far as Chester, he puts it through 89.38's legs, and WHAT A STRIKE! From 1235 yards before 25 could get to him... no, wait, the other way round, but still, two-one Schiavonia!"

- - - - -

"There we go then. The final whistle blows, and Schiavonia have come from behind to beat Total n utter Insanity and top Group A! Next up will be Jeruselem at Shamrock Park in Threlo. Jeruselem will be looking to make up for a two-one defeat to the Sloths that they suffered in the group stage last time in Krytenia, so this one is definately going to be one to watch!"

"Plus Rachel Kool and Dazza Dallas will be there!"

"Well, there's that, too. But let's try and concentrate on the football, yeah Fil?"

"Speak for yourself!"

"Well, join us for that one. Or join me while Fil goes hunting out the JGN presenters. Either way, watch the game only on SchiaSport TV!"

Here ends the first part of Matchday Three. Scores for the Second Round in Qutar can be found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11702668#post11702668)!

If you're in the Second round in Schiavonia get your scores here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11702964#post11702964)

Last-Eight Awaits The Greats
Starblaydia in Quarters for 4th time in a row

A 2-0 scoreline flattered Starblaydia in their Second Round Match against Sarzonia today. After half an hour's play, Starblaydi fans were wondering quite what Khim Azanulbizarn was up to, allowing Sarzonia to keep the ball under very little pressure. We all know that Sarzonia at their peak could keep the ball for practically the entire match, and letting them have it was never the way to beat them.

Fans yelled such comments as 'push up', 'close him down' and 'go to him' more times than one can count, but for a good long while Starblaydia were seemingly content to try and shut Sarzonia out. Perhaps the pressure of the Quarter-Finals was getting to the team - 'they who must win the cup'. Finally the team snapped out of their self-induced funk and decided to take a hold of the ball. Fierce patriot Stephen Adams grabbed the team by the scruff of the neck - quite literally in the cases of Pedro Rujano and Matteo Prizzoni - and dragged them into possession and then up the field. This was not before, however, Larry Cornwell had forced Mendez into a fingertip save to divert the ball just over the bar.

Starblaydia's training round drills have obviously not just been defensive ones. Though the benefits of conceeding only seven goals in eighteen matches are obvious, all that training ground time has been fruitful for offensive set pieces, too. With Prizzoni knocking in a ball from the right hand corner, Pedro Rujano nipped in at the near post and neatly headed down towards Adams' feet. The young defender managed to get to the half-volley before Gene Campo could react and Adams blasted the ball high into the back of the net, falling to the ground, such was the power in his right boot. Young Adams got to his feet and simply grabbed at the badge on his left breast, shouting into the afternoon sky as his teammates enveloped him. Boy does that fellow love his country.

Sarzonia came back at Starblaydia in the second half. Remembre, of course, that these two teams were even-stevens in the KPB ranks right up until thirty years ago when Sarzonia won the title. Since then they've dropped back while it has been Starblaydia's turn to rise to the top. The Stars' players were attempting to claw back that gap in the international rankings, and nearly did so when Steve Jacobson fired just wide of the far post from a good position on the left.

Sarzonia's hopes of Extra Time were undone by Jackie Maitland, who has become the new all-time leading scorer for Starblaydia. Her fifty-third and record goal for the nation came with just a minute to go, one that sunk Sarzonia's title challenge and propelled Starblaydia into a meeting with Jeruselem. Released from the half-way line by a great through-ball from Lawrence Asante (brought on to terrorise Jerry Wagoner some more), Maitland took the ball wide of Talbot and knocked it cooly into the net, before going on a lap of honour around the ground and promptly being booked for timewasting.

Can't have everything, can you?

Final Score from The Headland:
Starblaydia 2 - 0 Sarzonia
(Adams 38, Maitland 89) - (None)

For the 4th time in history!

There was a palpable sense of excitement in Ariddia as an entire nation watched eleven men and women attempt to hoist the country up into topmost ranks of world football greats. While the Second Round was uncharted territory for all the Rouge-et-Noirs’ current players, they were there now, and had their eyes on the next step: the quarter finals.

It was going to be a tight match, with no obvious favourite, as Oliverry ranked only two places above the Ariddian team. Supporters of both sides struck up conversations and chatted in French as they waited for the game to begin. Then the Ariddian fans fell silent for the ulek, performed with fierce defiance and enthusiasm. . . and the match was underway.

For a second round match, the Rouge-et-Noirs, it soon appeared, had no intention of being shy. They pressed every oppotunity as close to the Oliverran goalcage as they could get, although their initial efforts did not pose any significant threat to Oliverran goalie Marcel L’Heureux. Ball possession was slightly in Ariddia’s favour, and the latter were doing all they could to keep their opponents on the defensive.

In the eighteenth minute, Tadjou Senaya received a long pass from Eosh, and slipped it to Kyaw, who outran Oliverran Michael Bennett before coming up short in front of Youban and Dionne. She passed back to Nam, who weaved his way in, paused a daring half-second to aim, and sent the ball into the net. Supporters jumped to their feet and cheered.

Nam, the 28 year-old attacker who plays for Fort Manchester in the Lowland Clans, gave his country a second goal in the thirty-fourth minute, after Uha Teh had intercepted the ball from defender Wyan Youban. One third of the way through the match, Ariddia has a two-nil lead. It was more than most had hoped for, but all were very much aware that a lot could still happen within an hour.

In the forty-first minute, the other French-speakers reminded spectators why they’re ranked 14th best team in the world, and narrowed the lead thanks to Antoine Larocque. Oliverry’s four attackers were proving difficult to keep back, but Ariddia refused to be forced into playing defensively, and there was plenty of forward playing on both sides as the competitors tried to bump up the scoreline faster than their opponent.

The second half witnessed a narrowly missed free kick by Nam, and an excellent shot from Cloutier for Oliverry, only just deflected by al Maharmeh. Shortly after that Oliverran midfielder Aiden Hunt was shown a yellow card for a dodgy tackle on Senaya, although the Ariddian intervened in his counterpart’s favour in a failed attempt to talk the referee into clemency.

Ariddians held their breath as the minutes ticked by, fearing an equaliser, and let out a collective sigh of relief when Michelle Dru secured her team’s win with a third goal in the seventy-ninth minute. But only in the closing moments did it really seem to sink it.

Ariddia has made it to the quarter-finals!

It is only the fourth time in history that the Rouge-et-Noirs have reached the quarter-finals. A 0-2 defeat to Lemmitania in World Cup 5 preceded a one-two defeat to Quohog four years later, before Ariddia’s only ever quarter-final victory, in World Cup 10: a 3-1 win over Oglethorpia.

Distant days, those, and now a whole new generation keen to prove themselves. The upcoming match against current world number two team Bedistan is already being predicted in the Ariddian media as, for most Ariddians, “undoubtedly the most thrilling in living memory.”

See you in the Stadium of Dreams!

Nailbiter!

Squornshelous and Fmjphoenix can't wrap it up even in extra time

We join the telecast of the Squornshelous vs. Fmjphoenix second round match in progress at the end of extra time. The match is being covered by the only media personality Squornshelous has ever actually RPed: Jorge the Amazing Talking Monkey. After being laid off from his job giving predictions on the results of the world cup, he has become a highly successful sportscaster with his handler, who has yet to disclose his name to the public, helping out.

Handler: And so here we are in a penalty shootout after Squornshelous scores to tie with just a minute to spare.
Jorge: Khabarov tipped in a nice pass from Kamaka. Too bad they couldn't have started earlier.
Handler: And here are the lineups for each team tonight.
Squornshelous Fmjphoenix
Goran Syvatov Mike Nolan
Igor Khabarov Jack Russel
Jeff Harris Laura Boyd
Oleg Petrov Ridley Silverlake
Iannis Xenakis Brian Dougood
Jorge: And Fmjphoenix to shoot first

Handler: Nolan burries the ball in the top corner. Purcell never had a chance.
Jorge: Perfect shot.
Handler: And here comes Syvatov.
Jorge: That was gutsy!
Handler: Goran chips it lightly straight at Keys, who is caught leaning the wrong way and can't readjust.
Jorge: One all.

Handler: And now young Jack Russel.
Jorge: Terriers with tennis balls come to mind.
Handler: He seems more at home with a football and he scores easily.
Jorge: I just can't get over that name.
Handler: Igor Khabarov steps up and powers it past the keeper, that was a blur.
Jorge: Now there's a ripper even Jack would be proud of.

Handler: Now it's Laura Boyd for the Vikings and she's sent it in off the left post.
Jorge: Close one right there.
Handler: But it counts just the same, and now Jeff Harris
Jorge: Nice Shot!
Handler: Harris sends the ball spinning away from the keeper and into the side of the net.
Jorge: That's six shots and six goals.

Handler: Ridley Silverlake steps up next.
Jorge: Interesting choice, someone with more experience might do better.
Handler: And she scores! Hard to do much better than that.
Jorge: Both keepers seem a bit tired after holding these attacking sides to one goal each in 120 minutes.
Handler: And now Oleg Petrov, he puts the ball nicely into the top corner, four all.

Jorge: Brian Dougood is up for the Vikings fifth shot.
Handler: And the ball's come back out.
Jorge: He knocked it off the crossbar! Squornshelous have a chance to win it right here!
Handler: And if I could have any player in this cup to try, it'd be the man out there right now, Iannis Xenakis!
Jorge: I'm sure Simeone Di Bradini and the other penalty shootout finalists might have something to say about that.
Handler: He makes his run. . .
Jorge: And it's in! Xenakis scores and the Pschychoes are in the quarterfinals for the first time in twelve years!
Handler: A beautiful spinning shot that skipped off Key's hands on its way to the Back of the net!
Jorge: What a match, Squornshelous advance by the skin of their teeth.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 0 - 0 Fmjphoenix
Squornshelous 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix AET
Squornshelous 5 - 4 Fmjphoenix APK

* Funky theme music *

Dazza: Oh baby! Oh yeah (dances)
Rachel: That's Dazza, she's excited. So am I, I'm Rachel Kool
Dazza: We are into the quarter finals! oH YEAH (dances)
Rachel: This is a special version of THE FOOTBALL LIFE. Not because Dazza's drunk on victory even though she can't play.

Dazza: We beat Schiavonia TWO ONE. w00t!
Rachel: Dazza's not drunk. If she was drunk, she'd be naked by now.
Dazza: sorry, just excited. Jeruselem won it's first EVER 2nd round game after 3 attempts. World Cup 29, Schiavonia beat us TWO ONE in a group game to knock us out and we didn't make 2nd round. This time we made the 2nd round and beat Schiavonia.
Rachel: It's history indeed. People called for my husband, Harry Kool to be sacked because we didn't make the 2nd round. Now, look here - Harry's now the BEST EVER Jeruselem coach in the World Cup.

Dazza: Didn't start well, with Schiavonia scoring the first goal, looking like Schiavonia once again would beat us. Things were looking grim.
Rachel: Then Keanu Reeves who's been quiet lately, scored two fantastic goals in the 2nd half.
Dazza: Everyone who say the movie called the SoccerTrix, will be some trademark moves. Put it this way, it's like the movie but in real life.
Rachel: Keanu's kung-fu moves put us into the quarter final! The best ever bicycle kicks I've ever seen so far this World Cup. They were real, not movie stunts.

Dazza: Keanu's the man! Pity he's got girlfriend but I'm just been really selfish.
Rachel: And a gentlemen too, but Harry's my man. And he's a coach, not just a player.
Dazza: So, watch the game on JGN. Tape it abd give it to your friends because it was a great game.
Rachel: Now, the bad news. Guess who we play next?

Dazza: Oh yeah, its Starblaydia AGAIN
Rachel: You heard us, it's Starblaydia ... our bogey team
Dazza: But we've come back from the dead, beaten Schiavonia and now it's time to fight back.
Rachel: Yes, dont' miss it. Get the family to watch it, it WILL be the biggest EVER game for any Jeruselem team. A quarterfinal against Starblaydia.

Dazza: Hey, some Schiavonians wanted to talk to us.
Rachel: They did indeed. Nice people although they did first look at our assets first.
Dazza: What do you expect when you were dresses so tight, hehe!
Rachel: They were nice people and even though their team lost, they were quite nice to us anyway. I wonder if us being babes had that effect?

Dazza: No, that's not it. It's normal for males to stick hands up my skirt.
Rachel: That's because you don't complain.
Dazza: (winks at camera) I'd fall over if I tried to slap them since one of my arms is keeping this crutch standing up
Rachel: Anyway, it was nice to talk other broadcasters from places like Schiavonia.

Dazza: Onto other results for the 2nd round. Sarzonia got stopped by the err, Starblaydia. TWO NIL. Hopefully it will be TWO NIL to us when we play them.
Rachel: And a really exciting game. Tadjikistan knocked out Krytenia on penalties 5-4. This was after the teams were locked 2 ALL in Extra time. Both team deserved to make the quarter final but it was the Tigers who won the day. Got to feel sorry for the Krytenians really.
Dazza: And the World Champs Casari defeated the insane team TWO NIL. A two peat for Casari? We think so but we'll be trying out best to stop Casari if we beat Starblaydia.

Dazza: Hey, Rachel tell them the news. They want to know!
Rachel: I'm going have more Kool kids. Yep, Rachel's got herself pregnant again.
Dazza: And people think I'm the one more likely to have kids.
Rachel: It's my duty to have kids. I'm Jewish. Catholics like Dazza are just as bad though or worse. Look at her sister Debbie, half a soccer team.

Dazza: JGN has another product to plug. It's a DVD called Football Queens. It features the best ever female players who have played the Women's World Cup including Jeruselem players of course. We have two Women's World Cups
Rachel: yes, add it to your DAZZA DALLAS DVD. Once upon a time, people said girls can't play football in Jeruselem but who's laughing now?
Dazza: Only 15 shekels, it's cheap because it's on special now. The normal price is 30 - get them now.
Rachel: And signed by the Jeruselem players featured too including Dazza's sister. Shipping is only free to Jeruselem customers OK? No, we don't deliver to space stations for now due to transport issues.

Dazza: JGN DVDs are REGION FREE. Yes, we want everyone too see our DVDs. We don't waste money on breakable copy protection systems.
Rachel: Just short YAP YAP today, since most of this FOOTBALL LIFE seems to be not based on football anyway

Dazza: Today's question is a technical one! Some people are complaining our DVDs aren't working on their computers. Well Dazza's going read the system requirements for our DVDs - 32 or 64 bit CPU with clock speed over 1Ghz, a DVD-ROM or DVD burner with 4x read speed, 512 Mb of RAM, 3D video card with 64Mb of RAM, and a decent mouse. Software-wise you need Windows 2000 Service Pack or better, Latin OS X32 or X64, or Apple Mac OS 9 or higher. The DVD works with most recent software DVD players except those crappy ones which don't do 3D acceleration. Yes, you need 3D acceleration - the DVDs are fine as long they use DirectX, OpenGL or UberPipe3D. Now, people with those set top hard DVD players will have no issues unless your DVD player refuses to play region free DVDs. Ok, most people don't have a Quad-Core Core 2 Quadro, 32 speed DVD burner, 8Gb of RAM and an 1Gb nVidia video card like Dazza does but meet the minimum requirements and it should work. I know some of you have those fussy DVD-ROMs which don't read region free DVDs, so patch them and fix the issue.

Rachel: That's it from THE FOOTBALL LIFE. Jeruselem take on Starblaydia once again in the quarterfinal. DON"T MISS IT.
Dazza: Sweet dreams!
Rachel: And good night.

2nd Round Results
Schiavonia 1 - 2 Jeruselem
Starblaydia 2 - 0 Sarzonia
Krytenia 2 - 2 Tadjikistan (4-5)
Casari 2 - 1 Total n Utter Insanity

BSDshorts
Lions get emphatic second round win over hosts

The Bedistan Lions picked up their biggest World Cup finals win in history in the second round of World Cup xXx against the home team from the Islands of Qutar. The Qutari team distinctly had the biggest support from the crowd, an estimated 68 percent of which was supporting the home team. But this game was over pretty much before it had even begun, with three goals from Monty Salas in the first half giving the Lions a 3-0 lead going into halftime. Even the fans seemed to have lost hope as the second half got underway, and a very relaxed Bedistan team put two more nails in Qutar's coffin courtesy of Sarah Jackson and the 37-year-old Han Sun-gyeong, substituted in midway through the second half.

Five goals to the good, the Lions are through to the quarterfinals, where they will face a surprisingly good team from Ariddia. Les Rouge-et-Noirs haven't been seen in the quarterfinals since World Cup 10, and will certainly be more than willing to show that they belong in the last eight by trying to pull off an upset to get into the last four.

final score
Bedistan 5 (Salas 9, 16, 39; Jackson 61; Sun-gyeong 84)
The Islands of Qutar 0

Khim closed the door behind him and leant on it, he could still hear the reporters yelling questions at him through the door, the cacophony of a press conference come to a conclusion. He let his head rest against the door and sighed, breathing out slowly.

Their never-ending questions, comments, taunts and mockery was becoming too much of a strain on Starblaydia's national football team manager. Had there ever been a time when his every word was not scrutinised for meaning, replayed half a hundred times and gone over with a fine-toothed comb for hidden meanings, clues and jests? Had even Jean-Paul Georges-Ringeaux been free of such a media spotlight when he had begun Starblaydia's long journey to the top sixty years before?

Khim sighed again and walked back to his hotel room, now he knew why Coach Haztarr of the Kings - formerly Rayzors - was on so much medication. A manic depressive despite being the most successful ice hockey coach in the world ever. These types of jobs got to you. He rested his hand on the wall and leant there for a while, taking in his most private thoughts, standing alone in a hotel corridor. Oh, for the days of two teams and a field of grass, before fans and crowds and journalists and live prime time across Atlantian Oceania and the world and all the rest of that bollocks.

He figured he'd get on quite well with Harry Kool, and that Jeruselem vs Starblaydia would be a good match as long as all those weird females kept their mouths shut. Jeruselem seemed to be a very odd place but, for a good ninety or more minutes, they were to be the eemy, crushed under the Starblaydi boot in a tide of white and purple shirts. Khim sighed again, why was it not just two teams playing a game any more? Had it ever been so?

He decided it probably hadn't, overcoming his natural Dwarven urge to see the past as all wonderful, romantic and pure through some fairly thick rose-tinted spectacles. He had his team, they had theirs. On paper, his were better, with more stars with more well-known names in better known leagues. 'But they don't play on paper' some media kruti would say with a sneer at him. Bastards.

Just kick the ball in the goal, he'd say. That was all he ever asked of his team, they said it was his catchphrase but it was nothing of the sort. It was just the way to be. Perhaps there was a place for him in the world where he could tell his teams how to try and do it, and then sit back and watch, guiding them as need be. That was the part of the job he loved, the part he lived for. With Starblaydia that was only a quarter of the time, at best. He wanted something else, not the Cups and the Trophies and the glory, just something simple, how a team manager should be.

Perhaps he needed to go somewhere else to find that again.

Here endth the RP Count for Quarter Finals in Schiavonia, and here are the results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11712359#post11712359)

Here ends the second round RP.

A match, a match at last. An all-too-brief respite from the media and ninety minutes where Khim could watch his team play another, and end up emerging victorious this time, as in the past eighteen others of late.

Not that he wasn't under the microscope for those ninety minutes, of course. Uncountable numbers of commentators had to talk about something for the pre-game, mid-game and post-game spots, and there were only so many subjects to discuss. He knew that there were even cameras pointed directly at home throughout the entire fixture to check his every action and reaction for analysis and comment later. Usually he forgot about them, but this time he couldn't.

He shook hands with Harry Kool, Jeruselem manager, before and after the match for that sporting gesture that also served as a photo opportunity. Khim relished the chance to just sit in the dugout and help guide the fate of his team, free from most of ther pressures that come from being a famous international team manager. Whether it was him or the team that was receiving the most attention at this point, he wasn't sure.

The teams had been lined up, the whistle had gone and, for now, Khim Azanulbizarn was at peace with the world. Two periods of forty-five minutes later, and he was at one with a nation.

It's The Semis for Us!
Starblaydia blast into Final Four

Oh, how familiar this Semi-Final set-up looks. Anyone who's glanced at any recent World Cup Top-Three would recognise the nations present. Starblaydia, Bedistan and Liverpool England are there again. The were the best teams in the world at the beginning of the qualifying campaign, and the World Cup has weighed, measured and judged the teams and have proved them to be the best in the world.

Two of the greatest strikers in the world, currrently Starblaydia's first- and third-highest scorers in the history of international competition, were on show in white and purple, while one of the more 'media-friendly' players in the world lined up on the other side. Those would be Jackie Maitland, Johan Keifner for Starblaydia and Dazza Dallas of Jeruselem, for those not in the know. Those in White and Purple opened the scoring first, nearly a half hour into a tense and exciting match. Skill and flair in equal measure were on display and both Mendez and Boop severely tested throughout the first half by shots, headers, free-kicks and corners.

'JK The Giant' was the first goalscorer, heading into the top corner from a Tabitha Di Bradini cross out wide on the right. The enormous striker was just too much to handle for the defence, and when he had the opportunity for a free header he made no mistake. That is how good you need to be at this levelof competition; a defence needs to be almost poerfect every time, as you can guarantee that the one time you're out of position, the ball will fall perfectly for the opposing team. That was how the first half ended, with Starblaydia 1-0 up.

Jeruselem appear to regard Starblaydia as somewhat of a bogey team, having barely beaten them once in their entire history of meetings (OOC: WWC4 hasn't happened yet in my timeline). Jeruselem started off the second half with a bang, both Dallas and Reeves coming within a gnat's whisker of equalising. Starblaydia increased their lead after an hour through Jackie Maitland's fifty-fourth goal of her career, after some good play across the entire width of the park, Jeruselem's defence appeared to be stretched. Two quick, one-touch passes brought the ball into the centre, and Maitland only needed to turn past her defender and blast the ball low into the back of the net, leaving Boop pounding the ground in frustration.

The match didn't finish with that easy-looking scoreline as Jeruselem cranked up the tension with less than ten minutes to go. Midfielder Carrier Fisher brought Jeruselem back into the game and made Extra Time a possibility as she pulled one back as her team carved through the Starblaydi defence,she was on the end of the move and fired the ball past Paola Mendez. Jeruselem pushed and pushed for an equaliser and Extra Time but it was to no avail as Starblaydia held on for the victory.

The Tadjikistan Tigers will be Starblaydia's opponents in the Semi-Final match, a team that Starblaydia have, of course, faced and defeated already on their road to the title. A 3-2 scoreline in the group phase, as well as an excellent recent history will give Starblaydia some confidence, but this is the World Cup Semi-Final, and both teams will be fighting for their lives to make it to the Final itself.

'Fides, Gloria, Sanguis' is Starblaydia's national motto, translated as 'Honour, Glory, Blood'. Starblaydia's players will be striving for all three as they enter one of the greatest matches of their lives.

Final Score from King Franceso Stadium:
Jeruselem 1 - 2 Starblaydia
(Fisher 81) - (Keifner 28, Maitland 62)

Liverpool England to face Bedistan in semis, Syku Lyku steps down early
Liverpool England, once again, will be facing Bedistan on the football pitch in a semifinal or final of a World Cup. Following a fracas at the opening ceremony between two boys representing the nations, Syku Lyku's final move as FALE Chairman was to order 400 FALE security personnel accompany the team to the semifinal.

Lyku, who was due to step down at the end of this cup, made the decision to quit early after coming under increasing pressure to step down following widespread reports of meddling with team selection. Manager Thomas Lunson, who at one point had his job on the line should Liverpool England have failed to qualify for the second round, has also made his intentions clear that he would resign from the national team after the World Cup, once again leaving the Liverpool England national job vacated.

Liverpool England and Bedistan have a long history going back over 88 years, with Liverpool England winning World Cup 8 in Bedistan. However, recent results have seen Bedistan take the upper hand in this old rivalry, culminating most recently with a win in two World Cup Finals, including one in Bedistan.

Nick Reagan, president of the Bedistani Football Association and former Liverpool England national manager, will reportedly be asked by the FALE interim chairman Dennis Jamal to make a joint-statement condemning any violence. However, violence is almost always a guarantee when these two sides meet. We expect the Qutari police to be ready, but it will certainly be a test.

For most of the Liverpool England team, this is their last World Cup - indeed, almost half of the 17 players named to travel are retiring from international football. There would simply be nothing better for them than to eke out one more victory over old arch-rivals Bedistan.

* Funky theme music *

Dazza: I'm Dazza Dallas
Rachel: And I'm Rachel Kool
Dazza: And this is the FOOTBALL LIFE, live of course. It's always live
Rachel: And not a replay from seven zillion years ago. (looks at Dazza) Where's your shoes gone Dazza?

Dazza: Oh my shoes! I was sitting down and took them off to fix the slipping knee strap. Now, some BITCH walked past and pinched them and ran off. Of course, I couldn't run after her and well, some BITCH has my shoes now.
Rachel: Not good - those were expensive!
Dazza: There were - double stiching, real leather, water-proof soles, easy cleaning and padded insides. I love those shoes. Not glued or made of synthetics.
Rachel: Well, I'm sure you'll get another pair. Get Finn to buy them for you.

Dazza: He would but he's kinda broke ... and this floor is cold.
Rachel: Well, the adventure is over. As you'd expect Starblaydia beat us AGAIN - like alwayss.
Dazza: Ah, but losing to the number one seed 1-2 is not bad. We were ranked 13th, but we should be back to the TOP TEN kiddies.
Rachel: It's sad, but we made the quarter finals at least. Harry Kool is now no longer Jeruselem coach and retiring - but he is the BEST World Cup Jeruselem coach ever. Oh yes, I'm his wife so I'm biased - really biased.

Dazza: I gotta sit down, I hate cold feet. I'll be back ... as the Terminators would say (disappears)
Rachel: No need to explain the result, we lost to Starblaydia. Jeruselem - stand proud because we are one of top 8 teams this World Cup.
Dazza: (Sitting on stool holding crutch) I'm back! Had to borrow something from the local ice cream stall.
Rachel: What's this thing with you and ice cream stalls?

Dazza: Err, they got Dazza magnets attached to them ... and you sell ice cream in TV.
Rachel: And I've a freezer full of the stuff. My kids are so lucky.
Dazza: I better go around to your place then some time.
Rachel: Leave some for my kids Dazza. They cry a lot when there's no ice cream.

Dazza: Better get back to the football! The World Champs will no longer be. Them Tajik TIGERS won a thrilling overtime win over Casari who cannot win back to back World Cups now.
Rachel: Now, this shows how good it Jeruselem were to win Women's World Cup back to back. It's hard, winning a World cup back to back is not trivial - it's rare.
Dazza: The Tigers have their eye on the cup - and paws ready to strike any who get in their way.
Rachel: Maybe, it's tiger time? But they must beat Starblaydia first. I reckon, if Tadjikistan beat Starblaydia - then they WILL win this World Cup XXX.

Dazza: Speaking of animals, the Bedistan Lions ended the hopes of Arridia. Arridia put up a fight but lost 0-1 to the Lions.
Rachel: Close game but it's LIONS and TIGERS time in the quarter finals.
Dazza: Pity our Nedalian lions could not join us but there's always World Cup 31
Rachel: She's going to Nedalia for a holiday. So watch, when Dazza does Nedalia.

Dazza: Squornshelous took on the Terminators from the Liverpool England! Squornshelous didn't get terminated and almost terminated LE.
Rachel: Squornshelous lost but after both teams could not be separated in extra time at 2 ALL. The Terminators won on penalties 6-5.
Dazza: Poor Squornshelous, that's a horrible way to loose. My love to the Squornshelous fans.
Rachel: Well, LE take on Bedistan. Lions vs Terminators - that's a HOT game like TIGERs vs Starblaydia is. I wish it was TIGERS vs Crusaders but maybe next World Cup.

Dazza: The cameraman is pointing at my err, top bit. Oh, top is slipping! (fixes top)
Rachel: That was in purpose, Dazza.
Dazza: Well, me and Rachel here will be travelling to see the TIGERs vs Starblaydia game and the final.
Rachel: Don't miss it live on JGN. Throw out those camping plans - or bring along a TV if you really want to go camping.

Dazza: YAP YAP time.
Rachel: Some people want to know what Dazza and I do for a living. I can't speak for Dazza - but I work JGN in the sports section. If people kick a football, I'm there except for the Women's world Cup which is covered by Dazza. I travel a lot and write articles for JGN newspapers too. It sounds like I do nothing but I do a lot of running about - and then I have a family to take care off too. My mum babysits when me and Harry are away on assignments.
Dazza: I play for Jerusalem United, host Girly football on JGN, am president of the Keanu Reeves fan club and do some on-the-side modelling. I live the fast lane - no brakes.
Rachel: Oh yes, she's also the Jerusalem United blogger ... the one that rambles on the web site. Most Jeruselem bloggers are boring, not Dazza - she's just weird.

Dazza: That's it for the FOOTBALL LIFE. The Jeruselem team go home, but we aren't.
Rachel: Stay tuned on JGn for more football because I know you want to even if you like looking at us
Dazza: Sweet dreams - except the BITCH who stole my shoes.
Rachel: And goodnight!

Jeruselem 1 - 2 Starblaydia
Tadjikistan 1 - 0 Casari (AET)
Bedistan 1 - 0 Ariddia
Liverpool England 2 - 2 Squornshelous (6-5 APK)

RP Cutoff for the semi-final in Schiavonia

Score is to be found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11720805#post11720805)

And the other one in that other place is here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11722040&posted=1#post11722040)!

RP Cutoff for the 3rd Place Playoff

The result can be found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11724619&posted=1#post11724619)

The World Cup xXx semifinal had managed to go off without a hitch, with the expected violence between Bedistan and Liverpool England supporters at an all-time low, much to the relief of the Qutari police present at the match. But the Lions' 3-2 victory was just as sweet as ever.

So now it was on to the final, where Bedistan's final obstacle would be none other than Starblaydia. It was a repeat of the World Cup 28 final, though Lions supporters were hoping that the result would be reversed this time, Starblaydia having won that particular matchup. To the surprise of few, the final was to be contested between two of the "Big Three" - six of the last seven World Cup finals have involved at least one of Starblaydia, Liverpool England, and Bedistan, with all three nations having been to at least three finals in that timeframe. Despite incessant rumors of an impending decline of talent in Bedistan, the team somehow still keeps finding its way to the top and now threatens to tie Rejistania's record of winning the World Cup four times.

Who will it be? The ever-stalwart and heroic Lions of Bedistan, or the scions of Starblaydia, the Men in Mauve? There's only one way to find out.

Up with the Green and Blue!

Yeaddinites back Bedistani Triumph

The World Cup final is upon us once again, and despite not being part of it, some Vilitans are taking a detailed interest in the match, especially knowing that whichever team wins will have all the bragging rights coming into the next World Cup, to be held in Vilita and the Lowland Clans.

With ties throughout Atlantian Oceania, many Vilitan's are split. But theres one area of Vilita that you will be hard pressed to find someone backing Starblaydia. That is of course Yeaddin. Positioned remotely from the rest of Vilitan society, Yeaddin has always been the big city on the 'other' side of Vilita. At least, as "other" a side as there could be in an island more representative of a triangle. And Yeaddinites are supporting Bedistan, through and through.

Yeaddin sticks by its hometown club, the Yeaddin Owls, and tradition is ripe between them. Yeaddin's own history has tended at times to mirror that of Bedistan's famous Yuba United, but the main foreign rivals of the Owls were always Starblaydia's Iskara Daii. The Daii and the Owls have a history of meeting at the important stages of the big club competitions, with the Owls taking the first battle royale in alarming fashion.

After a 1-1 draw with the Daii in Starblaydia in the Champions League 5 Semi-Finals, the residents Yeaddin stood behind their team and the rivalry began. The Daii stood little chance, as the Owls destroyed them 5-1 at the Lirai Asku Castle en route to the final and eventually the Champions League title, a feat which the Owls would defend in Champions League 6, before the rivalry sparked again in Champions League 7, where the Daii got the best of Yeaddin 2-0, and as a result, Starblaydia has been on the Yeaddinites Shytlist ever since.

The man who led the Yeaddin Owls to their great Champions League triumphs was Kenter Surf. After spending many seasons at Yeaddin, the people bid their beloved coach goodbye as he took up the position as head coach of the Bedistani National team. In a slow period of success for the Vilitan National Team, Yeaddin quickly shifted their support behind their beloved Surf and his new look Bedistani side who went on to add to the legacy of the most famous resident of Yeaddin by winning the World Cup...twice. And while Kenter has since retired to follow his child Viiker's budding career on the NS Surf Tour, Yeaddinites can still be found with a Bedistani kit in their closets.

Needless to say, don't get caught wearing purple in Yeaddin today.

A hotel room in Cëre, The Islands of Qutar

Samuel Huff enters wearing a green and blue shirt with “MORLOCK” clearly printed on the back.

Paul Bass: Is that what you’re wearing to the game?

Huff: Sure, why not?

Bass: Well…I suppose it’s the right colors…

Huff: Let’s go, we don’t want to be late!

Krista Kanamasa took her seat in the Stadium of Light in Cëre. She and her boyfriend, John Young, had paid a pretty penny for these twelfth-row seats just a bit to the left of midfield.

"Oh, this is gonna be so awesome!" she exclaimed to John. As she did this, she caught a glimpse of two men making their way to their seats two rows in front of them. One wore a green and blue shirt with the name "MORLOCK" written across the top of the back above a large number 40. "Darren Morlock, eh?" she mused. "Now that's old-school."

"That's also fake," John mentioned. "A green-and-blue Morlock jersey? No dice. Morlock played in World Cups 9 through 12. Team Bedistan didn't start wearing green and blue until 18. Any authentic Morlock jersey would be blue and silver, not blue and green. Someone got ripped off, I think."

"Haha, sucks to be them." Krista took another sip of Pepsioli, still bursting with excitement for the impending kickoff.

Eight Years On... Bring It On
Starblaydia face Bedistan for Cup again

And so, Starblaydia are into their third Final match-up in six cups, and so they face Bedistan yet again for the title of Champions of The World, and boy is it a big world.

Bedistan were the World Cup winners in between Starblaydia's two triumphs against Rejistania in World Cup 25 and the Lions themselves in World Cup 28. Since then Casari have lifted the title on home soil, but fans in white and purple across the world will be hoping that the Cup travels the short distance across the Nemyan Straights to Starblaydia, rather than down the Crystilakerean Channel down to Bedistan.

Anyone outside of Atlantian Oceania is probably bound to throw a big 'meh' in the direction of this particular final, once again prompting the Cup to remain in the sporting superpower region for another four years at least. There will of course be fans of both the number-one and -two teams all over the world, whether it be for Bedistan's three Cups and long history throughout the game, or for Starblaydia's recent meteoric rise to the Cup, including two titles and a vividly-remembered Champions' League win by the nation's most famous club team, Iskara Daii, along with being the current Olympic Champions.

In fact, it was two Olympic Gold Medallists who scored Starblaydia's goals, the first coming as an equaliser from Matteo Prizzoni. The young right-sided midfielder, some saying not fit to fill Paul Noble's shoes - never mind his shirt number, has been on top form in the latter stages of this knockout section, setting up and scoring goals a-plenty. His came as the result of great work by Tabitha Di Bradini, excellently overlapping him and drilling in a cross for Jackie Maitland at the near post. The cross, however, didn't beat the defender, Korshak, and he hooked it away but only as far as Prizzoni, who cut inside Yarygin and fired an unstoppable shot past the aging Suchomlinov, who will surely win his last Cap for Tadjikistan in the Third-Place Playoff match against Liverpool England.

Starblaydia went in at half time level-pegging against the Tigers, a somewhat surprising entry in the last-four thanks to their win over Casari, but came out with all guns firing. Relying on the defensive stability provided by Khim Azanulbizarn and Jaime Oberlander's efficient training, Starblaydia pressed forward in ever greater numbers, and, after Tabitha Di Bradini was forced out of the game with an injury received during a collision with Berzarin, Christian Averette came on to score yet another great goal to add to his already-huge tally. The young full-back appears to play as an outside-right when called upon, often supporting Jackie Maitland on his own, such is his pace to break past defenders.

With Keifner flicking the ball on from a Cortez cross, Maitland was seen flung to the ground, claiming a penalty from Zaparov even whilst still in mid-air. The referee hesitated for a split second, but before he could put the whistle to his lips, Averette was there at the back post to slam the ball home, low off the inside of the woodwork.

One thing will be sure, even if there are no goals in two hours of play against Bedistan, as happened the Paladin Dome eight years ago, it will surely be one cracker of a match, with red-hot matchups all over the pitch: Rujano versus Hollins and Rage versus Law will dominate the midfield, with whoever dominates there will surely win the match.

It will either be Starblaydia's third, or Bedistan's fourth. Will green or purple reign supreme in front of eighty thousand screaming fans at the Stadium of Light? With #1 against #2, those in the prime of their careers against those with no chances left, two-time champions agaisnt three-timers, your guess is as good as ours. We, of course, wil lguess Starblaydia.

How about you?

Final Score from King Franceso Stadium:
Starblaydia 2 - 1 Tadjikistan
(Prizzoni 41, Averette 72) - (Orlitsa 36)

OOC: Reporting to you via the wonders of a girlfriend's computer while she cooks dinner - hurrah.

The WC30 final has taken place, and congratulations to... ah, go and look in the scores thread like everyone else! :p (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11730167#post11730167)

Stadium of Light, Cëre, The Islands of Qutar

Samuel Huff and Paul Bass hear two people chatting a couple of rows behind them.

Huff (laughing): Too bad they’re sitting behind us, and can’t see the 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) patch on it.

Bass: You’d think they’d hear about a player with the same last name and number as Darren Morlock across the border, especially after he took the Titans to a Super Cup title.

Huff: BSTV is probably too busy predicting when the BFA will stop playing pinball with Yuba United. Or figuring out just how unlucky the national team must be to play Liverpool England thirteen times. Or—

Bass: Shut up, they’re about to start!

SFA President Erc Ellery walks (overly) proudly to the microphone...

"Attention people, I have two wonderful announcements to make!"

"Firstly, the World Cup Nation Hall of Fame inductee for World Cup xXx is... Tadjikistan!"

*loud applause*

"With their wonderful semifinal appearance, they have proven to be the best of the best (that aren't already there). We await a representative from the Tadjik football organisation to accept this plaque *holds up plaque* as recognition of their achievements in international football."

"And secondly, I am VERY proud to announce, that the now retired captain of the Spaamanian Waffles, veteran of three World Cups and four qualifying campaigns, Spaam's top female player, top midfielder, second best goal scorer, and top penalty shooter, runnerup of the veterans penalty shooting competition, and Spaamanian of the Year, Crewenna Roskelly, is the sixth inductee to the Spaam Football Hall of Fame."

*loud applause*

"We will be holding an official ceremony later this month in conjunction with the launching of Spaam's twenty-eighth World Cup qualifying campaign. Thankyou."

Ellery walks off the stage, reporters raising their hands and cameras flashing...

(OOC: Congrats to Tadjikistan! Go here (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_Nation_Hall_of_Fame) for the complete Hall of Fame.)

We look out over the Stadium of Light through our Magical Camera of RP. And this isn't some cruddy Rejistanian model either, this is the latest and greatest, streaming enough megapixels to produce a crystal-clear picture on a movie theater-sized screen at over 40 frames per second. Oh, and did I mention it features time manipulation technology? Yep, it does. Right now we've paused time as we pan through the stadium. Looking over at the big scoreboard, we see that Bedistan are up 1-0 over Starblaydia after seventy-one minutes and three seconds. The stands are absolutely packed with people wearing either purple and white or blue and green, depending on which team they're here to support, and there seems to be about a 50-50 split.

The camera stops near the midfield line, looking into the crowd. We see a family of four, all dressed in green and blue and therefore cheering for Bedistan. This is the Palmer family, from the small* city of Jennerstown in Spalding province, Bedistan. The father, Isaac, had been saving money for nine months so that he could take his whole family to the final. They all had been banking on their nation to make it here, and they weren't disappointed. Isaac believed that these two thousand bakrani** were the best he'd eveer spent, and the looks on their faces seem to indicate that his wife Marian agrees, as do their children, 17-year-old Brett and 12-year-old Nicole.

The camera zooms out and gives a 180-degree rotation so that it now looks out over the pitch. We see Bedistan in its usual 3-4-1-2 formation, and we see that the current focus of activity in the match seems to be over by the Starblaydi goal. But we'll get to that later.

Now the camera moves into a sea of purple over on the other side of the stadium. We come to the ninth row, where we see a fairly large number of Starblaydia supporters who appear to have smuggled a pretty decent quantity of alcohol into the stadium. Indeed, there are several empty Orcinus bottles strewn about the stand beneath them. Like the Palmers on the other side, these Starblaydis seem to be having the time of their lives. Perhaps even too good of a time, as we see one over on the end making a rude gesture to the nearest Bedistani player while a more sober-looking woman on his left with Starblaydi flags painted on both cheeks continues pleading with him to relinquish his car keys.

And now we go back several rows to a group of dark-skinned people dressed in white, the secondary Starblaydi color. This is the Seove family - Hetamhak~hi, Inideh~sisa, and Kiiramvela - from Nanti Lik~hat, Rejistania. While certainly not quite the fervent Starblaydia supporters that the subjects of Viannor may be, the Seove'he'ny were nevertheless hoping the Lions would not be victorious so that the Orange-Blues would remain the only team with four World Cup titles to their name. The expression on Inideh~sisa's face is one of worry, perhaps due to the events transpiring on the pitch at the moment.

Zoom out, turn around, and zoom in again, back to the Bedistan-supporting side of the stadium. And once again people of another nation have thrown their support behind one of the teams here today, in this case a group of Vilitans having just arrived in Qutar from Yeaddin. Most of them are wearing Bedistani blue and green, though several sport the kits of Yeaddin Owls AFC, the old club of former Bedistan manager Kenter Surf and some former Bedistan national team superstars. All of them are staring intently at the end of the pitch where the Starblaydi goal is.

Now the camera starts to pan up, up, way up. Into the nosebleed section, where we see a man dressed in a red and white shirt and blue jeans. He seems to be looking up at the sky as though he's praying for a meteorite to appear out of nowhere and make a direct hit on the pitch below. Those around him seem to have dismissed him as insane.

And now we zoom, at long last, to the Starblaydi goal. The ball is en route, apparently having recently left the right foot of Bedistan captain Parker Law. Goalkeeper Paola Mendez seems to be trying to make her way toward the incoming ball, but if it's going fast enough, she doesn't have a chance.

We unpause the camera and hear the stadium suddenly burst into a roar, as Law's shot apparently was fast enough. Two-nil to Bedistan! And, it would later turn out, a fourth World Cup title officially in the history books for the Lions, at last tying the Orange-Blues' record.

And now all that's left to do is see if the Lions can be the first to make it five. But we won't know for another four years.

----

Final score
Bedistan 2 (Wilson 19, Law 72)
Starblaydia 0

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* Here, "small" is defined as "having a population less than five million".
** Equivalent to about US$4800, €3800, or £2600.

Khim Azanulbizarn sighed. The cameras caught it, of course. There was probably half a hundred cameras just for the purpose of catching reactions of various participants in the game. Analysts would later suggest that he was simply disappointed in losing, but Khim was sighing in relief. He'd been beaten, fair and square, for the first time since the Semi-Final of World Cup Twenty-Seven. There they'd lost to, of course, Bedistan. And here he was, twelve years later, losing to Bedistan once again. They'd had a memorable victory over the now most-susscessful footballing nation ever, of couse, but losing always hurt. This time brought a relief of a Dwarf who seemingly had the weight of an entire nation on his broad shoulders.

Swiftly rising to his feet in the dugout, Khim went to shake the hand of his opposing manager. It had been a good game, after all, with Bedistan deserved winners.

"Now see here, sonny," Khim said in the best press conference he'd ever presided over, "we didn't make Bedistan the most successful team in the world ever, they took it for themselves. On paper we're still the best team on the planet, but tonight they proved themselve to be better than us. Try another game in a week's time and we might come out on top. They've won the Cup, deservedly so."

"What are you going to do now?" The question was yelled out at him.

"Ah'm gonna take a wee break, and resign me position as t'Manager of Starblaydia. We've 'ad a long ride these past five Cups, and a greet time too. Undefeated all the way t'Final were an acheivement that we may not see again from this team, but ah promise ye that this nation will lift t'World Cup again. Maybe they'll do it in Vilita in four years time, but this team will be Champions of t'World again."

"Are you retiring from football, Mister Azanulbizarn?" That fabled 'one last question'.

"Well, ah dunnae ken, laddie," Khim smiled, "them ninety minutes were an oasis of calm, like in a sea a' troubles. Ah'd like t'get back t'what I love most. the management of a squad a'players. Thank-ye."