NationStates Jolt Archive

Ladies, gentlemen and other selected beings, Schiavonia and The Islands of Qutar are proud to present...

World Cup xXx

Before we get started, some handy links to other World Cup related threads.

World Cup xXx Pre-Cup Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=494084), for things that have gone on before.
World Cup xXx Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=494083), for you to show us who will be playing for you.
World Cup Discussion Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066), where any Out Of Character moaning/questions/banter should go.
World Cup xXx Scores Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=496347), where the results of games during the World Cup will be displayed.
World Cup 31 Signups (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=497634), where you will be able to sign up for the next edition of this ongoing saga we call the NationStates World Cup.

The group draw, made at the King Francesco Stadium in Kingsbury in front of whoever could be bothered to turning up.

Group 1
Spaamanian Plijous (55) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11633153&postcount=83)
Winchestia (143) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461995&postcount=6)
Errinundera (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461803&postcount=4)
The Lowland Clans (41) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461834&postcount=5)
Hiiraan (178)
Chicanada (28) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11470274&postcount=32)
Benlandngdo (108)
Liverpool England (5) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11549229&postcount=67)

Group 2
Oliverry (14) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11557655&postcount=73)
Cuation (39) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11475432&postcount=35)
Alif Laam Miim (191) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11492763&postcount=45)
Toopoxia (169)
BENKONATE (-)
Lisburn Mateys (67) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11545702&postcount=65)
Sliponia (129) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464915&postcount=24)
Milchama (30) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11487050&postcount=40)

Group 3
Tessan (102) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11518495&postcount=52)
Haraki (36) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11557340&postcount=72)
Iansisle (78) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11482008&postcount=37)
Sel Appa (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11480114&postcount=36)
Czariums (178)
McPsychoville (24)
Aurendia (135) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464972&postcount=26)
Casari (4) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11498508&postcount=47)

Group 4
The Weegies (155) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11489695&postcount=44)
Becquerelia (33) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11556753&postcount=71)
Sativaville (89) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11533283&postcount=54)
Uncle Pete (200)
Vilita (71)
Kericia (48)
Sashonska (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11559394&postcount=74)
Squornshelous (9) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11487015&postcount=39)

Group 5
Eseck (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11543438&postcount=58)
Krytenia (6) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11560312&postcount=75)
Tocapa (158) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11545745&postcount=66)
Spaam (29) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11494419&postcount=46)
Risa-Aramour (83) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11576056&postcount=81)
Peturbed Lepoard (191)
Vuam and Isma (37) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11468663&postcount=29)
Rorysville (70) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11487165&postcount=41)

Group 6
Montegrande (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11511136&postcount=49)
Nikea (116) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464969&postcount=25)
Spindomia (131) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11489129&postcount=43)
AwalKB (73)
Bettia (18) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11500158&postcount=48)
Tynelia (50) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464079&postcount=17)
Starblaydia (1) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11465566&postcount=27)
Wrecker (207)

Group 7
Qazox (44) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11467571&postcount=28)
Tadjikistan (12) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11545236&postcount=64)
Commerce Heights (23) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11463482&postcount=16)
Toranat (185) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461999&postcount=7)
The Mice of Miceland (135) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11468675&postcount=30)
Raging Penguins (81) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464687&postcount=23)
The Doja (-)
Swilatia (64)

Group 8
United Island Empires (76) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11462971&postcount=15)
Cataduanes (31) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11543724&postcount=60)
Wentland (35) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11533845&postcount=56)
Jeruselem (13) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11462804&postcount=13)
Delesa (151) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464240&postcount=19)
The Greatest Crap (213)
Marion Oaks 2 (203) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464306&postcount=20)
Marceau State (85) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11487439&postcount=42)

Group 9
Spruitland (20) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11544203&postcount=62)
Lylybium (207)
Virginia Nova (86) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464160&postcount=18)
Rordia (68)
Los Mexico (-)
Nouvelle Angleterre (148)
Yafor 2 (51)
Ariddia (16) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11574674&postcount=80)

Group 10
Hockey Canada (10)
Palixia (-)
Quakmybush (46) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11462013&postcount=8)
Giant Zucchini (54)
The Archregimancy (25) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11543056&postcount=57)
Demot (142) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11471239&postcount=34)
Bostopia (126)
Ten Thousand Maggots (204)

Group 11
Fmjphoenix (11) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11556388&postcount=70)
The Colony of Delaware (169) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11550522&postcount=69)
Dorian and Sonya (49) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11462703&postcount=10)
One Red Dot (61) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11562712&postcount=77)
Khenas (101)
KCToker (207)
Total n Utter Insanity (19)
Socialist Romanistan (-)

Group 12
Magnus Valerius (38) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461742&postcount=3)
Green wombat (80) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11533367&postcount=55)
Horgate (-)
New Montreal States (7) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11512677&postcount=50)
Carvalo (177)
Lexington SC (178) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11471167&postcount=33)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (22) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11462802&postcount=12)
Harlesburg (77)

Group 13
San Haven (-)
Anathematic Republics (43)
The Candrian Empire (200)
Bedistan (2) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11550111&postcount=68)
Nebuleux (75)
Nedalia (27) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11568604&postcount=79)
Az-cz (125) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11462711&postcount=11)
Alasdair I Frosticus (139) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11516675&postcount=51)

Group 14
System Karela (111) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11543748&postcount=61)
Dance 2 Revolution (26) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11607361&postcount=82)
Commerce Heights JSY (178) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11463482&postcount=16)
Ropa-Topia (175) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11462838&postcount=14)
Rejistania (8) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=2)
Geisenfried (65) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11485559&postcount=38)
Bazalonia (40) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11468714&postcount=31)
Champlaign (-)

Group 15
Turori (53) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11562153&postcount=76)
The Island of Ishtar (175)
Kaze Progressa (34)
Farstra (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11565031&postcount=78)
Elves Security Forces (91) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11462048&postcount=9)
Northern Caesarea (74) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11525162&postcount=53)
Allocer (197)
Sarzonia (15) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464323&postcount=21)

And here are the schedules.


MD0: Friendly games Wednesday 16th August (Schia)
MD1: 1v5, 2v6, 3v7, 4v8 Thursday 17th August (Schia)
MD2: 6v1, 7v2, 8v3, 5v4 Friday 18th August (Qutar)
MD3: 1v3, 2v4, 5v7, 6v8 Sunday 20th August (Schia)
MD4: 1v2, 3v4, 5v6, 7v8 Monday 21st August (Qutar)
MD5: 3v2, 4v1, 7v6, 8v5 Wednesday 23rd August (Schia)
MD6: 1v7, 2v8, 3v5, 4v6 Thursday 24th August (Qutar)
MD7: 5v2, 6v3, 7v4, 8v1 Friday 25th August (Qutar)
MD7.5: Friendly games Saturday 26th August (Qutar)
MD8: 5v1, 6v2, 7v3, 8v4 Sunday 27th August (Qutar)
MD9: 1v6, 2v7, 3v8, 4v5 Tuesday 29th August (Schia)
MD10: 3v1, 4v2, 7v5, 8v6 Wednesday 30th August (Qutar)
MD11: 2v1, 4v3, 6v5, 8v7 Friday 1st September (Schia)
MD12: 2v3, 1v4, 6v7, 5v8 Saturday 2nd September (Qutar)
MD13: 7v1, 8v2, 5v3, 6v4 Monday 4th September (Schia)
MD14: 2v5, 3v6, 4v7, 1v8 Tuesday 5th Spetember (Schia)

Schiavonia will be scorinating approximately 11:00 UTC, while Qutar will be scorinating about 23:00 UTC. Except for MD0 an MD1, which will be between 20:00 and 22:00 UTC. Hence where it appears that we'll be having gap days, it's just so that you get ample time to post any RPs.

Anyone wishing to arrange a friendly can do so in this thread, or by telegramming the scorinator for that day. Friendlies listed here are confirmed.

Matchday 0 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11555848&postcount=1)
Matchday 7.5 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11600623&postcount=9)

Meanwhile, Schiavonia are looking for your nation's legends to take place in a penalty competition, which will take place between qualifying and the World Cup Finals. Even if they are still playing (some teams are in their first cup, so they don't have past players to enter!) Entries so far (44) are...

Juan Tzimisces (Alasdair I Frosticus)
Pao St. Martinique (Andossa Se Mitrin Vega)
Xavier Xu (Ariddia)
Pizelkaxrovsky (Az-cz)
Peter Hobble (Bazalonia)
Peter Constantine (Becquerelia)
Vanessa Carpenter (Bedistan)
Stuart Abdul-Rahim (Bettia)
Clyde Misterson (Collonie)
Rual Mindiz (Cuation)
Micheal McShane (Delesa)
David Masterson (Demot)
Altáriël Telperiën (Dorian and Sonya)
Kyla night (Elves Security Forces)
Daniel Cunco (Eseck)
Jorge Mendel (Fmjphoenix)
mike Zendar (Haraki)
Debbie Dallas (Jeruselem)
Gabriel Kennedy (Krytenia)
Trevor Griggs (Lexington SC)
Adam Carrero (Liverpool England)
Matthew Force (Marion Oaks 2)
George Illyanich (Magnus Valerius)
Marc J. Floren (Milchama)
Nene (Nedalia)
Gilles Villeneuve (New Montreal States)
Pablo de la Rosa (Northern Caesarea)
Jon Fields (Quakmybush)
Jenji Y (Rejistania)
Tim Brick (Rordia)
Mike Jasper (Rorysville)
Tony Tarmey (Schiavonia)
Estevez (Sel Appa)
Crewenna Roskelly (Spaam)
Alan Belmore (Spaamanian Plijous)
Dirk Jools (Spruitland)
Mostafa Ogbadan (Squornshelous)
Simeone Di Bradini (Starblaydia)
Fr. Silouan of the Seventy Caves (The Archregimancy)
Ali (The Islands of Qutar)
Jualiar Vumaou (Turori)
Jay Masterson (Tynelia)
Callum Banda (Vilita)
Harold Freemont (Virginia Nova)

Just in case anyone finds it any easier to have it here, the finals draw (roster links included).

In Schiavonia, scorinated by The Islands of Qutar...

Group A
Schiavonia (hosts, 17) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=84)
Rejistania (8) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=2)
Total n Utter Insanity (19)
Yafor 2 (51)

Group B
Starblaydia (1) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=27)
Tadjikistan (12) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=64)
Commerce Heights (23) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=16)
Spaam (29) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=46)

Group C
Krytenia (6) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=75)
Sarzonia (15) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=21)
Nedalia (27) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=79)
Becquerelia (33) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=71)

Group D
Casari (4) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=47)
Jeruselem (13) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=13)
Bettia (18) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=48)
Quakmybush (46) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=8)

In The Islands of Qutar, scorinated by Schiavonia...

Group E
Bedistan (2) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=68)
Fmjphoenix (11) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=70)
The Archregimancy (25) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=57)
Milchama (30) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=40)

Group F
Liverpool England (5) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=67)
Oliverry (14) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=73)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (22) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=12)
Bazalonia (40) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=31)

Group G
New Montreal States (7) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=50)
Ariddia (16) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=80)
McPsychoville (24)
Northern Caesarea (74) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=53)

Group H
The Islands Of Qutar (21, hosts) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=84)
Squornshelous (9) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=39)
Chicanada (28) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=32)
Cataduanes (31) (http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11461668&postcount=60)

MD1: 1v4, 2v3.
MD2: 1v2, 3v4.
MD3: 1v3, 2v4.


And remember, let's make this the most fun World Cup we've had since World Cup 29!

Dazza: I got the Group Draws!
Rachel: About time, was it very exciting?

Dazza: When's the last exciting group draw ceremony you watched?
Rachel: Good point there

Dazza: I got a few copies for the Chairman, Harry and ... err ... JGN of course!
Rachel: Let's see. This will be interesting.

Looks at piece of paper reading
Jeruselem (13)
Cataduanes (31)
Wentland (35)
United Island Empires (76)
Marceau State (85)
Delesa (151)
The Greatest Crap (213)
Marion Oaks 2 (203)

Dazza: Well we are in Group 8. Each team has 8 teams. There are 15 qualifying groups - so a total of 120 teams. Now, that's big. Oh and the host.
Rachel: 8 team groups are big

Dazza: We are top seed, you know lucky 13th seed but better than 666th seed. Actually I don't recognise many teams here.
Rachel: Good old Wentland are back. You might run into those Blue Tits again Dazza.

Dazza: Wentland indeed. Cataduanes, 2nd best seed here. Have we played them?
Rachel: Might have but I don't know but 31st seed is still good.

Dazza: United Island Empires, wha?
Rachel: Been around but never seem to make the uber-big splash. Still, top 100.

Dazza: Marceau State, aren't they trying to host the Women's World Cup 4?
Rachel: Same folks. This World Cup should help them work out what to do and what not to do.

Dazza: Delesa, now this is getting into the unknowns
Rachel: We'd better Google that nation.

Dazza: The Greatest Crap, that's a nation? Wow. Crap ranking
Rachel: Dazza, I know you're going to be making some bad jokes about that team

Dazza: Me? Never! Last but maybe least Marion Oaks 2. They aren't a Yafor 2.
Rachel: I wonder what happened to Marion Oaks?

Dazza: Well, no nasty tongue twisters here.
Rachel: I tried learning Slani once, and gave up. At least I don't have learn another language this World Cup.

Dazza: Only two teams to fear really.
Rachel: I'd say so.

Dazza: That's done and over. You like the new dresses
Rachel: It does say World Cup xXx Babe on the front

Dazza: Me, XXX rated? That will upset my grandma.
Rachel: You're talking to the original Jeruselem World Cup babe. XXX suits me.

Harry: Hi girls.
Rachel: What do you think of the official female reporter dresses?

Harry: Erotic, I'd say ...
Dazza: Me or Rachel, you mean

Harry: Anyway, where's the group?
Dazza: Here you go.

Harry: Interesting, Wentland again?
Rachel: Yeah, funny eh? It's lunchtime before we go to work
Dazza: I want to come too!

Harry: OK, come along you two. Dazza, you have training too.
Rachel: Dazza never gets fat you know

Harry: Let's have lunch. They'll be so many jealous people watching me taking you out to lunch.

World Cup draw and a look at the other nations


MD0: Az-Cz vs. The Mice of Miceland
MD1: Qazox vs. The Mice of Miceland
MD2: The Mice of Miceland vs.Toranat
MD3: The Mice of Miceland vs. The Doja
MD4: The Mice of Miceland vs. Raging Penguins
MD5: Swilatia vs. The Mice of Miceland
MD6: Commerce Heights vs. The Mice of Miceland
MD7: The Mice of Miceland vs. Tadjikistan
MD7.5: The Mice of Miceland vs. Az-Cz
MD8: The Mice of Miceland vs. Qazox
MD9: Toranat vs. The Mice of Miceland
MD10: The Doja vs. The Mice of Miceland
MD11: Raging Penguins vs. The Mice of Miceland
MD12: The Mice of Miceland vs. Swilatia
MD13: The Mice of Miceland vs. Commerce Heights
MD14: Tadjikistan vs. The Mice of Miceland


Qazox, a weird nation that seems to worship a holy ox. The religious mantra "May the Holy Ox bless you in perpitutity" is common around the nation and apparently there was a "May the most Holy Ox poop on your porch" but this was changed apparently to appease some sort of other God. Details on this are sketchy but this team will be a problem for our Mice, we are not in the Baptism of Fire anymore.

Tadjikistan, one of the 'monsters' of the World Cup, the best team in our group, expect the mice to perform valiantly against this team but to come considerably short. The Tigers are their team nickname and expect them to show some cat-like personallity during their matches.

Commerce Heights, a nation that is not a nation and it does not seem to know whether it is going to or fro. Commerce Heights now go by the name of Unified Capitalizt States, and going from rumours about them well, let'sa just say they'd sell their own mother.

Toranat, a nation that we have have relatively little information about, a fellow nation from the Baptism of Fire but one we have had little to do with and did not progress into the finals stage, expect this team to be a fairly easy opponent for the Mice

Raging Penguins, a violent nation that tires to lose. Even so the team has won and still will expect to provide a tough challenge for the mice. The violence of this team is not driven by a hatred of other species or even groups but has seemed to be caused collective psychosis or mental illness.

The Doja, a nation that did not sign up fopr the BoF and should be a walkover for the mice

Swilatia, a team that has been around for a far while and has expected to be dominate against our mice.

This has been an official government public release

(OOC: This is continued from The BoF (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=493280). The story, for those who wish not to try to follow it among the mess of BoF RPs, is that Winchestian defender Taylor Tinley has stolen a "Guide to Bigulation" (or so he thinks) from the Miceland delegation in order to give it to the racist/specist Human Party and thus ruin Miceland)

Sam Waterton, head of the Human Party, sat in his office in Higgleton. He was thinking back to how this all started: he had been fired by the Winchestia Times for an "inflammitory" article in which he wrote that mice and gnomes playing football were not what humans intended. He then went to be come the lead editor here at the Higgleton Post, but no one knew that. The public just thought he was an occasional "guest" writer. From his new position, he was able to influence the rich North Higgletons into supporting the Human Party cause, and it led to a growth of the movement.

This was his biggest gain yet. By influencing the sensibilities of Taylor Tinley, and paying for some intensive training, he was finally able to obtain the secrets of the crown jewel of Miceland: Bigulation. His scientists were going to unveil the machine they built today, and then Winchestia, and the world, would see where the real power laid. Can you imagine? Bigulated humans?

Later that day, the scientists were going to run their first live test of the machine. They had invited Waterton to be the only non-worker to see the test. It was an honor Sam had insisted on.

"Alright, we are all ready here" said lead scientist Arthur Waters. They were going to bigulate a pea, and have it for a feast. He turned the knob to start the process.....

---------------------------------------------------------------------
About the same time, the McGovern family was flying to nearby Pacitalia for their first visit outside of Winchestia. The youngest son, Gregory about 10 years old, was looking out the window as they were flying over Higgleton.

"Mom! Look, that building just.....disappeared!"

"Sit down Greg, buildings just don't vanish!"

"But mom, I was looking at it..see, see!"

In amazment, momma McGovern saw what her son had seen. The former Higgleton Post building was reduced to..well..nothing! The only thing left that marked the location was the giant Higgleton Post sign in front of what was once a building.

"I wonder if it was those disgusting mice who play football" momma McGovern thought to herself as she settled back into her seat.

"They don't have any large mice in Pacitalia, I hope"

<An image of a player throwing a baseball-sized ball at a target>
Announcer: The delight of triumph
<A running man gets two hands pushed in his back by a man running behind him>
Announcer: The cruelty of losing
<A naked woman is dancing through a room full of wires>
Announcer: The beauty of movement
<One man running with the same baseball-sized ball collides with another man>
Announcer: The brutality of contact
<The camera slowly fades in from a view of the whole country of Az-cz, to Az-Cz City to a single building to a television studio>
Announcer: All of these things and more make up are wonderful Thin Country of Sports


<One single man is sitting behind a news desk>

Jm-Mky: I'm your host Jm-Mky and tonight I have a very special treat for you. Tonight we will be joined by the biggest names in Az-czid football to recap our brilliant victory in the 17th Baptism of Fire and look ahead to the upcoming world cup qualifiers. Joining me tonight are Coach Levesque, the mastermind behing the Baptism of Fire victory, his captain Zax-Im, the Player of the tournament Pizelkaxrovsky, the coach of the current holder of all three -League trophies, Rx-Wna and the coach of the team that took second place in the just held Newcastle cup and always competive Red Dwarf Rangers, Dwr-Kng. First congratulations to the champions.

Levesque: Thanks, Jm-Mky. It's an honor to be able to sit down and talk to you as the best first time team competitor in the world.

Jm-Mky: Alright looking back at the Baptism of fire, what would you say was the key to winning?

Levesque: Well what I said all along was that presence and mental focus were the keys. No matter what happened we never got rattled. Down two goals 20 minutes from elimination or when Pizelkaxrovsky went down injured, we were able to stay focus and drive forward.

Zax-Im: I'd say a wonderful team camrederie was also a key. We picked each other up and had faith in each other. That helped us adapt.

Pizelkaxrovsky: Plus we're just better than those other teams. There's a reason six out of the 11 spots came from us. And really it would've been quite easy for Bn-Dg to make it and barring the forwards injuries Bub-Rub or Stanleyinho could've as well.

Jm-Mky: How about the outsiders view?

Rx-Wna: I'd say from a tactical standpoint controlling the pace of the game was key. I tip my cap to coach Levesque for the masterful job he did. He knew exactly how to get his team to switch gears.

Dwr-Kng: And along with that having a lock down mode is just incredible. When the team got a lead they felt comfortable holding and turtled up they couldn't be scored on. That was incredible. Even against big guns like Miceland or Aurendia when the team focused on defense they were impossible to crack.

Jm-Mky: If you had to choose the defining moment of the tournament, what would it be?

Levesque: For me it would be the second goal against Tocapa. When we equalized against them it really dented their confidence and crystallized in our minds that it was ours for the taking. If we could come back from two goals down with 20 to play against a good team we could handle anything thrown at us.

Zax-Im: For me it would have to be the first goal against Miceland. Tocapa looked like they were slipping but Miceland was solid.

Pizelkaxrovsky: For me it was all about me. The first goal in the second game when I realized I could outplay the other players and create all kinds of shots. That really put me on the course of play that I took for the whole tournament. And rebounding from the injury against Winchestia was also big.

Jm-Mky: Alright, looking forward, explain what the set of friendlies with Miceland are about?

Levesque: The thought behind it was a goodwill gesture and an anti-speciesism gesture. Miceland had been recieving flack for being unusual and we thought it was wrong and wanted to stand in solidarity with them. It will also serve as good experience for both of our sides to play two more matches against a strong opponent, but one that is approximately the same level so we can develop.

Zax-Im: Also we encourage any other interested nations in linking their series up to our matches. On the day that we play Miceland in Az-cz we will open up any of our stadiums to nations who would like to stand with us against speciesism and racism. We will provide a safe clean venue for your fans, as well as referees and stadium use at no cost. We will also have displays set up celebrating Az-cz culture, and if Miceland would like we will also have information and exhibitions about Miceland. So we're looking to make it about more than just football.

Pizelkaxrovsky: But don't forget the football. These were the first and third place teams in the Baptism of Fire. We went undefeated and they lost only twice, one of which was to us. So these are good sides.

Jm-Mky: Alright looking ahead. Let's take a look at each team that is in our group. First up is a team we've already faced twice in the Baptism of Fire, The Candrian Empire. Thoughts.

Pizelkaxrovsky: We've already beaten them twice. So we ought to win that.

Rx-Wna: You have to agree. They didn't make much noise in a group where qualification was emminently possible. We can't afford to lose points here.

Zax-Im: While that's true, we still have to be on our toes.

Jm-Mky: After The Candrian Empire is Anathematic Republics. They're the third rated side in our group. They finished third in their qualifying group last time.

Dwr-Kng: These could be the most important matches of the entire qualifying for us. If we're going to make a move and qualify or even get invited to the Cup of Harmony how we perform here will be very important.

Levesque: Indeed, they're a strong side but there is a definite opportunity there.

Pizelkaxrovsky: That we'll be our first real chance to test ourselves against established clubs. We're looking forward to it.

Jm-Mky: After that is Nebuleux. They're 75th according to the rankings. They finished fifth in their qualifying group last time but were almost as close to second as they were to sixth.

Levesque: They're the other side that we're hoping to overhaul. They are definitely good, but as they showed last time they can be had. We'll have to be operating at full efficiency to earn points, but we believe we can.

Rx-Wna: Yes they aren't a great offensive team so hopefully we'll be able to find some goals and then lock them down like we did in the Baptism of Fire.

Jm-Mky: Following up the match against Nebuleux comes Alasdair I Frosticus. Although they are ranked below us they would seem to be the wild card of the group. They're roster is quite interesting, consisting of adult industry entertainers. Despite that considering the history of Alasdair I Frosticus, as the second world cup hosts they have to be considered a threat.

Levesque: Indeed they do. They are a quite unfortunate draw. Although we won't be bothered by any untold antics on the pitch, we do wonder if this is as accidental as they are claiming. Still we would've been much happier with a fellow Baptism of Fire participant or one of the non-descript teams down there. Still we'll battle hard and enjoy the experience.

Zax-Im: Basically we'll treat it just like any other game. The question is who knows how good they'll be. At least they'll have played some matches so we'll be able to get an idea.

Jm-Mky: On match day five we get the first of the two teams expected to advance to the world cup proper, Nedalia.

Zax-Im: Nedalia is another member of the Atlantian Oceania region, so they're a side that we expect to get to know much better. The main goal from this match is to fight hard. Draws against Nedalia can be considered good results.

Rx-Wna: This team beat an eventual quarterfinalist last cup, so they are definitely a strong side. Unfortunately if we're to make the cup they'll probably be the team we need to pass to do it.

Dwr-Kng: Indeed qualifying is a tall order, but Nedalia won't be able to dismiss us.

Jm-Mky: After Nedalia comes San Haven. Nobody knows anything about this team. They have neither a roster nor any experience.

Pizelkaxrovsky: These are the games where we have to win and win big.

Jm-Mky: Then on match day seven comes the group power Bedistan. They are second ranked in the world. As three time champions they are definitely expected to make it back to the world cup proper.

Pizelkaxrovsky: Undoubtedly those will be tough matches, but if they get tight and nervous we might be able to beat them. Regardless it will be fun to test our mettle against the best the world has to offer. As three time champs I think it's fair to say that if we can compete with them we can compete with anyone.

Zax-Im: It will certainly be a great learning experience. Most of our team will be able to come back for the next world cup, so playing a team like Bedistan can only help us.

Rx-Wna: What we want to see out of them is basically as clean a run as possible. If we're to qualify we want them to keep Nedalia and Anathematic Republics from getting points off of them.

Jm-Mky: Ok men, realistically where do you see us finshing and what our the team goals?

Rx-Wna: I think we'll finish fourth in the table. I think we'll overcome Nebuleux and hold off the teams below us.

Pizelkaxrovsky: I think that's about right. I think the thing of note is that I think we'll take some points off of Nedalia and Bedistan. I'm not going to predict we'll pass them for qualifying. But give us four shots at them and I expect we can take some points.

Zax-Im: Of course the goal is qualification, but realistically the goal is third or fourth. If we do that combined with our Baptism of Fire championship we might be able to parlay our way into the Cup of Harmony. Getting to that would really help our development as a nation.

Levesque: I think the main goal of this qualification is making our presence felt and earning respect. It would be nice to get -League players the opportunity to travel abroad to play if they choose.

Dwr-Kng: I think our goal is definitely to finish in the top half of the group. The other main goal for now is to climb well within the top 100 by the next time qualification rolls around.

Jm-Mky: Well that's it for tonight. Stay tuned as Az-cz tries to build off their glorious Baptism of Fire accomplishments in World Cup 30 qualifying.

Last Chance for Geriatric Wabbits

It’s World Cup time again, apparently. What’s more, it’s World Cup 30 time. That’s right, 30, not 29. Somehow that one went right over our nebulous heads. There’s even a rumor going around that WC29 never happened, which suits us just fine. With King Alfons’ allergy to prime numbers, that cup was bound to end in failure for the Wabbits anyway. And Casari world champions… Pfffft!

So onwards to World Cup 30 it is, or as it is more appealingly known: World Cup xXx! Boy, that one’s gonna be fun to Google in the future. Needless to say, the Spruitland population is exited about this one, and not just because of the nude cheerleader squad the Wabbits will be taking along to every qualifying match. The nation feels that this cup will finally be the one the Wabbits will win, and win convincingly. There’s no real logic behind that feeling, no in-depth statistical analisys or anything of the sort. It just boils down to “World Cup Triple X, hah, we can’t lose!”

There was some minor concern, however, when Wabbits coach Cor Bensen released his roster, which contained pretty much the same names as the World Cup 28 roster, except that 4 years were added to everyone’s age. But the team that was already quite “experienced” back then, is now just plain old. The starting eleven have an average age of 33.5, the youngest being 27. Too old, critics say, and a small but verbal delegation of football supporters made their dissatisfaction known outside SFA headquarters, until they were dispersed by the police.

“They can complain all they want,” coach Cor Bensen commented, “this is my team, and I’m sticking to it. Anyone don’t like it, feel free to bring it up with me in person. I’ll gladly explain in excruciating detail why waving crutches and dental protheses around is not in the least amusing.”

“These guys have earned their colors. None of them has to prove that they earn their spot in the team, their names speak for them. And besides, if you think I could possibly decide to leave one of them home for a world cup called “triple X,” you’ve got another think coming. Not if I wanna stay out of the emergency room. So this is my team. Case closed.”

Whether the Wabbit veterans will be able to pull off what everyone will be hoping for, a World Cup title, will remain to be seen. Needless to say, for many of them it will be their last chance to hoist the most important sports trophy in the World, the only thing missing to make their careers complete.

“What last chance?” Dirk Jools disagrees. “Yeah, I may be 36, but tell me, does this look like the ass of a 36 year old? Indeed it doesn’t. Carry on now.”

After the Championship in the Baptism of Fire, Az-cz feels confident in sending:

PIZELKAXROVSKY

to take part in the Legends Penalty competition. In the Baptism of Fire he was the player of the tournament, where he compiled 6 goals and 21 assists in 13 games and 12 starts. Included in his play were passes off of both the bar and opponents. Considering that he is only 23 he is already a hero in Az-cz and his reputation is expected to continue to grow.

Azanulbizarn Gets One More Chance
Starblaydia expected to cruise through to Finals

We hate to say it, and often point it out when other Sports reporters do the same, but we have absolutely no idea what most of our opponents in World Cup 30's Qualifiers will be like. "We don't know anoything about them, and we'll probably beat them" is going to be the standard phrase coming from people like myself. We can guess that Starblaydia will overrun pretty much everybody in this group, should things go to plan, but that doesn't mean Khim Azanulbizarn, Starblaydia's Dwarven Manager - will be concentrating on the Finals.

"Ah ken that the think we're gonna thrash t'opposition t'within an inch of their lives, laddie" Khim said, "but ye cannae think that way in t'modern game. Each match as it comes, that's what the says goes like."

Starblaydia's Group - Number Six - looks like this

Starblaydia (1)
Bettia (18)
Tynelia (50)
AwalKB (73)
Nikea (116)
Spindomia (131)
Wrecker (207)
Montegrande (---)

In truth, Starblaydia were drawn with both Spindomia and AwalKB four years ago, and the combined score over those four matches was 12-2 in Starblaydia's favour. So it seems that even put together, these two teams could not overcome the big purple machine. Bettia, ranked 18th, are the only team Starblaydia can be said to be familiar with, as the fellow Atlantian Oceania nation's attacking stylings have often come into contact with Starblaydia's tough all-around game.

Bettia and Starblaydia last played twelve years ago in Bedistan, where on Matchday One of the Group Stage Dasha Tolkacheva struck twice, followed by a Maiva Von Erich goal to give Starblaydia a 3-1 win. The two teams also met eight years ago during Starblaydia's record fifth AOCAF title, where Tara Niodonna, Leo Velaise, Jackie Maitland and Magdelena Ruiz just gave Starblaydia the edge in a nailbiting 4-3 thriller in Bettia itself.

Khim Azanulbizarn was successful on his third attempt at seeing Starblaydia through to a second World Cup title. After acheiving this in World Cup 28, Starblaydia's hopes and dreams of defending that title were crushed by the now-hated nation of Krytenia amid not only on-pitch controversey, but also geo-political upheaval. The SFA (Starblaydi Football Association) is rumoured to be very unhappy that Azanulbizarn 'allowed' that Quater-Finals defeat to happen, and with Starblaydia's 'best-team-in-the-wprld" billing to live up to, Khim, allegedly, has this one and only chance to recapture the Trophy for his country before he is forced to make way for another coach - likely to be Jaime Oberlander.


Baptism Champions to Face World #1
The Gnomes of Az-cz, who so recently destroyed all challengers in the Baptism of Fire held in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Legalese, have confirmed a friendly match with the SFA. The match, which will be Starblaydia's last piece of preparation before the Qualifiers proper, will see the best team in the world host the best new team in the world.

The great Stadii di Quercus in the city of Farça - with its 99,000 Capacity making it the largest ground in Starblaydia, has been booked for the match, giving the Az-czzers a little taste of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega-style culture, mixed with the age old Starblaydia cacophony of a match. Starblaydia will surely play most of their first team in the match, with only the true stars and starlets not being risked for the full ninety minutes.


Starblaydi Home Venues Announced
These be they:
Matchday 0:
Starblaydia Vs Az-cz - Stadii di Quercus, Farça (99,000 Capacity)

Matchday 2:
Starblaydia Vs Nikea - Jader Barbahlo Stadium, Jhanna (96,000 Capacity)

Matchday 4:
Starblaydia Vs Wrecker - Silverlands, Corinth (65,000 Capacity)

Matchday 5:
Starblaydia Vs Tynelia - Foundation Road, Jhanna (75,000 Capacity)

Matchday 7:
Starblaydia Vs AwalKB - Sports Hall, Karak D'Ragh (60,000 Capacity)

Matchday 8:
Starblaydia Vs Spindomia - Victory Park, Vecchio (48,000 Capacity)

Matchday 10:
Starblaydia Vs Bettia - Stadii di Quercus, Farça (99,000 Capacity)

Matchday 13:
Starblaydia Vs Montegrande - Bekkside Arena, Tabeck (33,000 Capacity)


Starblaydia still looking for MD '7.5' Friendly
Are you the head coach or manager of a national team entered in the 30 World Cup? Would you like to play the current Number One-ranked team in the world in a friendly match between Matchday's Seven and eight? Is there some specific reason that would make a match between your team and Starblaydia special? If all these answers are Yes, then apply to the Starblaydi Football Aassocation now for a friendly match!


SDB warming up for Legends' Shootout
Looking as youthful as ever (does this man ever get old? Must be what they put in the water in Vilita, or Giant Zucchini) Simeone Di Bradini was seen practising his penalties at Iskara Daii's training ground last week. Blasting the ball past all of the Daii's 'keepers and 'keeping coaches, SDB's famed sharpness that won him 44 goals in 84 caps for Starblaydia appears to be returning.

The Winchestia Times Presents:
Our World Cup xXx Group: Group 1

Two Former Champs, Two Group Winners Makes Qualification Unlikely

The group draw for qualifying for the 30th edition of the World Cup was held today in Schiavonia, and it was not kind to the Cooks. Former 2-time champoins Liverpool England are the highest seeded team in the group. Another former World Cup champion, Errinundera, is also present along with group winners from WC29 qualifying, second-seeded Chicanada. The third seed, The Lowland Clans, are well known for being a tough opponent as well.

Fixtures for the group, as well as locations for Wincehstia's home matches are below:


World Cup Group 1 (seeding within group)

Spaamanian Plijous (4)
Winchestia (6)
Errinundera (8)
The Lowland Clans (3)
Hiiraan (7)
Chicanada (2)
Benlandngdo (5)
Liverpool England (1)

Matches:
vs Chicanda (Winchestia National Stadium, Wendle)
At Benlandngo
vs The Lowland Clans (Higgleton Stadium, North Higgleton)
at Spaamanian Plijous
at Errinundera
vs Liverpool England (Grandor Multiplex, Grandor Mountains)
at Hiiraan
at Chicanda
vs Benlandngdo (Winchestia National Stadium, Wendle)
at The Lowland Clans
vs Spaamanian Plijous (Winchestian National Stadium, Wendle)
vs Errinudera (Winchestia National Stadium, Wendle)
at Liverpool England
vs Hiiraan (Winchestia National Stadium, Wendle)

Winchestia Agrees to Two Friendlies Against System Karela
Let's get ready for some fantastic defending!

In a series of matches that Manager Shawl (a former defender) will be sure to love, Winchestia will take on System Karela before the qualifying competition gets underway and after matchday 7. The return match will be played at the Grandor Multiplex in the Grandor Mountains. Fans can look forward to similar match as the epic 0-0 draw at Az-Cz, the only match Az-Cz did not win at the Baptism of Fire.

Greg Hughes sat in his office, he knew that the team would have to be self coached again. Then his secretary came in holding a piece of paper, she said"Sit, the group draw has happened."

"Thank you." he replied.

Reads
Group 10
Hockey Canada (10)
Palixia (-)
Quakmybush (46)
Giant Zucchini (54)
The Archregimancy (25)
Demot (142)
Bostopia (126)
Ten Thousand Maggots (204)

He starts making notes:

Hockey Canada (10) - good, solid squad, hope to get maybe 1 or 3 points from them.

Palixia (UR) - unranked team, hope to take 6 points.

Giant Zucchini (54) - below us, hope to get 3 or maybe 6 points.

The Archregimancy (25) - its basically between us and them for the second qualifying spot hope to tie or beat them atleast once

Demot (142) - a low ranked squad hope to atleast tie or beat them in both games

Bostopia (126) - another low ranked squad, hope to take 6 points from them as well.

Ten Thousand Maggots (206) we should take all 6 points from them.


MD1: vs Bostopia
MD2:@ Ten Thousand Maggots
MD3:@ Hockey Canada
MD4: vs Giant Zucchini
MD5: vs Palixia
MD6: vs The Archregimancy
MD7: @ Demot
MD8: @ Bostopia
MD9: vs Ten Thousand Maggots
MD10:vs Hockey Canada
MD11:@ Giant Zucchini
MD12:@ Palixia
MD13:@ The Archregmancy
MD14: vs Demot

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Moon-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sport Section

Inside: Jonathan Fairbanks good or bad, The previews of the rest of the WC, Marc J. Floren to sign up for the WC 30 Legends Shootout

Milchama get qualifiable group. Get ready to fail

The Milchama Warriors were placed in group 2 today with Oliverry and their coach the second ever coach of Milchama Jonathan Fairbanks (more on his record for the Warriors on page 4). The Warriors other competition for the qualifying spot is Cuation who after winning the BoF (we believe although our fact checkers are nutoriously terrible) have had terrible luck in the WC and have still failed to qualify. Coach Jamie Smith said, "This looks like a group we can qualify in, I know we can steal results from Oliverry as we know their system, and Cuation seem like an infinitely beatable team. This can only mean good things." We also have to inform everyone that Milchama is on an eleven strait match unbeaten run stretching back from World Cup qualifying last time.

Now for the infamous Milchamian predictions Group 2:
Oliverry (14)- Coached by Jonathan Fairbanks the former U21 and National Team Coach of Milchama. With all that said, that means that we know their system of play. This of course means that we can beat them at least once and maybe get a draw the other time. But I doubt it.
Milchama (30)- That's us. After failing misarably in the WC qualifying we got a new and younger team and swept through the Cup of Harmony winning our first (semi) major title along the way.
Cuation (39)- Since they won the BoF back in WC 25 (Beating ASMV) their BoF final counter parts have gone onto bigger and better things qualifying for the last 3 World Cups and hosting the DI. While Cuation have lingered in the upper 30s, lower 40s waiting for their break to get into a cup. However it has not happened yet and quite frankly unless Oliverry completely collapses we think they can stand one more cup not qualifying. That being said it will still be two tough matches but I know we will pick up one match and maybe win two although more likely draw.
Lisburn Mateys (67)- We faced them in either WC 27 or WC 28 qualifying. Either way back then they were new and we knew that we could expect good things from them. Now two or three cups later they are almost in position to be third. The Mateys are still a tough team and we will respect them but we still expect to beat them twice.
Sliponia (129)- An old team who waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when were semi powers that would qualify for the World Cup as their biggest rivals were NEWI Cefn Druids who have not been around since World Cup 23. They came back last cup and stunk and now they are back and will probably stink again. So we expect two easy wins.
Toopoxia (169)- Never heard of them. This should be another couple wins.
Alif Laam Miim (191)- These guys are our pick to be our achilles heel as we get annoyed when we lose to them. We only get 1 point against them on the road.
BENKONATE (-)- I like the CAPLOCKS but they are unranked so we should still get 6 points. Although I hope they continue in the future as they are good.

Raging Penguins Report:
The Penguins are in Group 7 or the Group of Animals which also includes the Ox people of Qasox and Miceland. They will not qualify but they could create a shock or two.

Random World Cup notes:
No Audioslavia Unfortunately for us, Douglas Jefferey was getting all ready to get into a screaming match with Jeremy Jaffacake. It doesn't look like it's going to happen. That sucks. We do hope that Audioslavia comes back and plays they were fun.

-Nervous about your WC debut?

- A bit. It's like a dream to be the national coach. I hope that won't change into a nightmare!

- What do you think about our group?

- Well, I think we have strong possibilities to be at the final phase of WC30. The rivals I fear the most are Sarzonia and Kaze Progreesa. Turori and Elven Security Forces can be a problem too. The other teams are, in theory, inferior to us, but we have to play the matches to confirm it.

- Is playing 3-4-3 too dangerous for a World Cup?

- I believe in offensive football. I always say that the better defense is a good attack. This tactic obliges us to be more concentrated and to control the game.

- Will we send a player to the penalties contest?

- Yes. Pablo de la Rosa.

Most interesting

World Cup 29 was not what the Tadjiks expected, being unable to reach their goals they returned home with a feeling that it could have been more. But overall the result and balance were good.Coach Piotr Monhakyiev had shown his expertise and quality during one of the most succesful qualiication campaign in Tiger history and though it was in what everyone considered an easy group, the task was not nearly as easy against sides that had nothing to lose.

Monhakyievs good result helped the Tadjiks obtain the 12th position on the KPB ranking(away from 13; which probably brought bad luck) and his position was secured. He has been given a second chance to lead the Tigers into the top of the World Cup scene(as if they werent already part of it).

Monhakyiev has chosen to go to the thritieth World Cup -Tadjikistans eightienth- with a team that does not differ much from his WC29 selection, with topscorer Tulberdiev as deep striker and skilled players Kirponos, Gyurza and Elisraov to back him up. The majority of them are thus, experienced and able to withstand the pressure of playing at the highest possible level. Such excellence will be necessary, for these opponents:

Group 7
Qazox (44): Qazox has been around for quite a while but never really succeeded to get to the top, strange for a team with a strong domestic competition to draw players from, we expect them to do well, maybe even slip past Commerce Heights. In this case, they will be a threat to Tadjikistans qualification.

Tadjikistan (12): Thats us, the strongest nation(in the area of football) in group 7 and we hope they'll lead it.

Commerce Heights (23): the ubercapitalists of group 7 and main opponents for the Tigers, we beat them during the WC26 group stage(4-1). Though they probably improved since and we'll have to watch out against this side. Should end second in group 7 but we believe Qazox will be putting a stick in their wheels.

Toranat (185), The Mice of Miceland (135), Raging Penguins (81), The Doja (-) We know very little of these nations and only Raging Pengiuns rings a bell in the distance. Coach Piotr Monhakyiev does not believe they can stop Tadjikistan, but remains cautious. Though it does gladden us to hear that people from the Mice of Miceland think we are the monsters of group 7. Lets hope they are right

Swilatia (64): named last but definitly not last in quality, Swilatia is just like Qazox a side that we have known for a while, but the Tigers never played them. This is a hard group for them to qualify from, but its possible and we'll even cheer for them as long as they dont walk in our way.

Prediction by Coach Monhakyiev:
1.Tadjikistan
2.Qazox
3.Commerce Heights
4.Swilatia
5.Raging Penguins
6.Mice of Miceland
7.The Doja
8.Toranat

From the desk of Nz-Tf
August 15, 2006

Az-cz accepts Starblaydian challenge

Az-cz looks forward to the challenge of playing against Starblaydia. Facing the top ranked team in the world will be a good challenge and preperation for the qualifiers. This match will be played after the match welcoming the Miceland to Az-cz. Those two matches will serve as important tune-ups. The prospect of visiting Starblaydia is exciting indeed.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys Captain Retires

The end of the Primerio Liga and Lisburn Distillery where pathetic has prompted captain David Armstrong to retire from the game. At 35 his best years are defiantly behind, but will remain in the peoples hearts captaining the team from day one during the Pre WC 28 BoF amasing 35 caps and winning 3 Primerio Liga's in a row with Lisburn Distillery.

Manager Paul Kirk has said he understands his decision and wil reveal the new captain a few hours before the first game, odds on favoutire is Amusi Akobyi at 3-1 the rest of the main contenders are:
Marvin Andrews 8-1
David Irwin 13-1
Keith Livingston 20-1
Stephan Mc Niece 25-1

Other big players are missing from the squad as Distillery had a disaterous season, and Downshire where miles off the pace.

Bellucci, Gregg, Buffel and Curry are all gone and the average age of their replacements is just 21, hopefully the new youngster can quickly adapt.

Drawn in group 2 with old friends Caution and Milchama is interesting as Cuation have hammered us each time we have met them and Milchama results have been mixed but hopefully this time things could go more our way. However many Mateys fans just cant see the team breaking into the top two or even three and many have predicted that as little as 3 points could seperate the top three and the Mateys end up in a no mans land int he middle.

Tommy Barnes was pensive as he prepared for his pre-tournament press conference. He had been silent since the Olympics and did not call a conference when announcing the squad. However there was no getting away with it at an NS sanctioned event.

The draw, he thought, was not too bad. Third would be a realistic aim, albeit a DNQ, but the gap to second was not as large as it could have been. A number of unknown quantities and Jeruselem again - at least there was no need to gee up the team for that one; they'd all want to be Man of the Match to be interviewed by that buxom interviewer of theirs.

But that was the last impression he wanted to give. Time for Operation Siege Mentality.

***

"...so there you have it, gents. Again the draw has screwed us. Groups 13 to 15 are outrageously easy, we could qualify from those with our eyes shut. As it is we get Jeruselem YET AGAIN. Someone's got it in for us. And the Cataduanos. Had them before, beaten them, but now look. They're ranked above us because of those ludicrous past draws.

"We will be lucky to get through. Because NS has it in for us. A joke."

"Tommy, why did you drop nearly half the squad following the Olympics?"

"Because they lost. I relied on them in the past World Cup and we did not get through. I relied on them in the Olympics to give the first choice players a bit of a rest and they lost."

"But you have not dropped any of the Crowhurst players?"

"Crowhurst has won four consecutive doubles. When another team comes along with that sort of record I will drop some of them."

"But they cannot cut it at international level, can they? Look at the Champions' League."

"They were a little unlucky. And adding the Royal Heath players will give us more experience of the international status matches."

"They do not play like Crowhurst. Will it be a job integrating them?"

"No. Up and at 'em. That's how we're going in these qualifiers."

"It's not a hard group at all, is it?"

"Nonsense. Look at the Empires. Look at Marceau. They can cause an upset. And after the Priggdom disaster I am not taking the unranked for granted."

"What do you think of these calls to have you sacked? You have not qualified..."

"I am the coach of Wentland and my job is in no danger."

"But we've missed out on the last three Cups and done nothing in the Harmony since..."

"I repeat I am the coach. We have been unlucky."

"But there are other candidates..."

"I will not answer any questions along those lines. Let's talk about the World Cup."

"Goodman..."

"That's it. Conference over."

Tommy Barnes stormed out, face like thunder, at mention of the Royal Heath manager whom some had named as the next Wentland coach. And many considered that Barnes had named the Royal Heath players out of spite againt Goodman; play them out of position, play them in the hardest matches, make them look silly and undermine Goodman. Time alone would tell.

Sport 24 had a new presenter, Derek Folds, a well dressed, snooty man who liked to hobnob so was upset when he got the football section rather then the Polo section. His professional attitude ensured he wouldn't show it, smarmy smile on as always.

"Welcome to this World Cup special, with me, Derek Folds as your host. The draw has been made for the 30th ever World Cup and this nations 6th ever World Cup. Now let me introduce the ruler of Cuation and manager of Cuation for four World Cups, Jude Takerath!"

A standing ovation as the scholarly ex manager walked into the TV set, a live audience chanting his name, video footage of him wining the Baptism of Fire and him in action as manager, including the famed 1-0 over Nedalia.

DF: "Well you are still popular with the fans, after a Baptism of Fire trophy, three third place qualification places and three semi finals, you have made Cuation a formidable force to be respected."

JT: "I am very proud to have turned a young team and win their first straight cup then proceed to bring them into the top forty places. I have enjoyed some good times and we have always had teams capable of winning a game. It was only a matter of bringing in consistency and to a degree, I did that."

DF: "Your resignation was a surprise, everyone in the country wanted you to continue on. The 30th World Cup, a sort of party and with your players eager to do a last hurrah by qualifying or winning the cup of Harmony, why didn't you stay on one last cup?"

JT: "I felt that, for the good of the team, I had to step down and let someone new try to take them into the next level. I have enjoyed my time and maybe one day, will take charge again but now, it is my time to let go. My last campaign was a disaster, fourth in qualification and going out in the group stage of the Cup of Harmony. I have organised the team but I seem to lack the spark that took ASMV to qualification. A new manager may rebuild the ageing team, give them more consistency and provide that spark, give the fans what they deserve."

DF: "Well a new manager has been appointed, Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile who had some success with his national team. Was he your choice or would you have preferred someone else?

JT: "I have no control of the choice manager but I fully support Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile and hope he brings the team success. He is experienced, he can bring defensive organisation to the team and will hopefully be able to inspire the players to a greater level."

DF: "Well, what do you think of the Cuation team as it is now?"

JT: "Aged but experienced, if they can last the running and avoid succumbing to the pressure, they stand a good chance of qualification. However it should be remembered that this squad was picked by the FA while there was no manager so if they struggle, it is not the managers fault. I do however think that this last hurrah will be successful, one way or the other."

DF: "We will go to the group after this short break."

The Bartol Occassional
Bringing you the news... when we feel like it

The group draw for the World Cup 30 qualification stage occurred today. As was in the most recent World Cup, the competing teams have been divided into 15 groups of eight teams each, with the two host nations, The Islands of Qutar and Schiavonia, automatically qualifying for the tournament. Tocapa drew into Group 5, which consists of:


#6 Krytenia
#29 Spaam
#37 Vuam and Isma
#70 Rorysville
#83 Risa-Aramour
#158 Tocapa
#191 Peturbed Lepoard
Eseck


Analyst Jenn Boriin of the Football Division of the Tocapa Athletic Foundation, after reviewing the teams had this to say: "Not a f***ing chance. I mean, at the top ve have last cup's third-place finisher, and the perennial Spaam. Beneath that ve have three teams in the top 100, vhereas ve're novhere close to that. The only teams ve might have a chance against are Perturbed Leopard and unranked Eseck, but even then ve're going to have a tough time. Better luck next cup, I say."

Head coach Geraldo Ascou, after seeing the group draw, commented: "I can't afford to buy this much gin!" Forward Stowe Error was cautiously optimistic, "Maybe if I score a goal my mother vill have a heart attack. That'll show her!"

Tocapa's schedule [OOC: If I'm correct,] is as follows:

MD0: <none scheduled>
MD1: Tocapa v Vuam and Isma
MD2: Rorysville v Tocapa
MD3: Eseck v Tocapa
MD4: Tocapa v Spaam
MD5: Tocapa v Krytenia
MD6: Tocapa v Risa-Aramour
MD7: Perturbed Leopard v Tocapa
MD7.5: Tocapa v Quakmybush (friendly)
MD8: Vuam and Isma v Tocapa
MD9: Tocapa v Rorysville
MD10: Tocapa v Eseck
MD11: Spaam v Tocapa
MD12: Krytenia v Tocapa
MD13: Risa-Aramour v Tocapa
MD14: Tocapa v Perturbed Leopard

OOC:
If anyone is up for a friendly on one of those dates, either TG me or (preferably) talk to me in IRC, where I'm more likely to see it.

Golden Eagles Draw Brutal Group, But Gettys Optimistic

Lexington- Group draws were announced live on LSPN today, and the reaction of the nation is a nervous one. The Eagles drew brutal Group 12, with:
New Montreal States 7
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 22
Magnus Valerius 38
Harlesburg 77
Green Wombat 80
Carvalo 177
Horgate Unranked
Even with the brutal draw, Lexington coach Will Gettys sounded optimistic.
" I think we can hang tough and this group, sure it will be extremely difficult to qualify, but this is our nation's first world cup, and we didnt do terribly in the Baptism of Fire, were ranked 178, sure thats low, but we can hold our own."
Several players on this Golden Eagles squad have faced two of those nations in international events. Trevor Griggs, Trevor Trudeau, and William Moore all played against Magnus Valerius in World Cup 28 , while playing for New-Lexington (New-Lexington went 2-0). And Will Belue has run against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega in the now defunct World Cross Country League.
In other news, star forward Trevor Griggs, has been entered into the penalty shot competition. Griggs has 17 career international goals in 30 games. He is only 22 years old.

Group 12 Predictions By Lexington Sports Network

1. New Montreal States
2. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
3. Magnius Valerius
4. Green Wombat
5. Harlesburg
6. Lexington SC
7. Carvalo
8. Horgate

Demot Daily ~ Death By Draw

After a dissapointing last two games in the BoF, the team now has had the cruel fate of being drawn into one of the toughest groups in the qualifying stages whiled Demot's arch rival, the Elven Marauders, get drawn into one of the easiest. Speaking of the Marauders, Demot and ESF have agreed to a friendly in the ESF on matchday zero. Now even for the optomistic Dogood, this draw dappens his spirit.

"Well we certainly didn't get any favors. Hockey Canada, Quackmybush, Giant Zucchini, and The Archregimancy are all great sides with alot more talent and expierence than us. The only teams that I honestly can say we might get some points off of are Palixia, Bostopia, and Ten Thousand Maggots, and even those will be hard to come by. It's going to be tough, but whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So in the end, if nothing else this will help prepare us for future Cups."

Schedule
MD0 ESF V Demot
MD1 Palixia v Demot
MD2 Demot v Hockey Canada
MD3 Demot v Ten Thousand Maggots
MD4 The Archregimancy v Demot
MD5 Bostopia v Demot
MD6 Giant Zucchini v Demot
MD7 Demot v Quackmybush
MD8 Demot v Palixia
MD9 Hockey Canada v Demot
MD10 Ten Thousand Maggots v Demot
MD11 Demot v The Archregimancy
MD12 Demot v Bostopia
MD13 Demot v Giant Zucchini
MD14 Quackmybush v Demot

All home games will be played at Skyhaven Citadel, which has been renovated to seat 57,000, in Skyhaven. The renovations allow of you football crazies to pile in and support your favorite squad.

Finnaly, coach Dogood has decided to send David Masteron to the penalty competition. Masteron lead Demot in goals in the Baptism of Fire with 8, and is the most efficiant penalty taker in the domestic league with a 94% conversion ratio.

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

Greg Hughes walked into the player's club house. He saw Jon Fields and Cory Sorley playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. "What the hell are you two nutters doing.?"

"We're seeing who gets to go to the Penalty Shootout for the World Cup, if you let us." said Fields.

"Alright, I'll let the winner go, best 2 outta 3." Hughes said.

*Fields throws Rock* *Sorley throws paper*

"GODAMNIT" Fields screamed.

*Fields throws paper, and so does Sorley*

*Fields thorws Scissors, Sorley throws paper"

"shit" Sorley said.

*Fields throws Paper, Sorley throws rock."

"HELL YA!." Fields exclaimed."

"Alright Jon, you can go to the shootout." Hughes said. "Now go do some laps!."

Elven Times
Drawing Closer

With the announcement of the draw, the nation is getting ready to either celebrate radically after ever win or go into a depressed stupor after every loss. The draw itself is somewhat interesting for the Marauders. They are in a decent enough group where if they pull 2 or 3 upsets and win the games they should, they can qualify unlike Demot who was drawn into a death group. Now let us actually look at the group.

Turori (53) - A decent team whom the Marauders need to pull 3 or 4 points from.
Predicited Finish - 5th

The Island of Ishtar (175) - A real low ranked squad that should give the Marauders an easy 6 points
Predicted Finish - 6th

Kaze Progressa (34) - Another team who are ranked higher than the Marauders. We should get 3 points off of them.
Predicted Finish - 4th

Farstra - A new team to the Cup. Lack of expierence and media publicity will hurt this team and we shall take all 6 points.
Predicted Finish - 8th

Elves Security Forces (91) - Our team. Look for a 2nd or 3rd finish. If the team manages to qualify, hold onto your wits, for it will be a crazy ride.
Predicted Finish - 2nd/3rd

Northern Caesarea (74) - Definately the team that the Marauders will be fighting with for the second qualifying spot. Whoever takes the majority of these points will likely be the qualifyer.
Predicted Finish - 2nd/3rd

Allocer (197) - Another newcomer to the WC who didn't fare too well in the BoF. 4 or 6 points off of this team with ease.
Predicted Finish - 7th

Sarzonia (15) - Definately the favorite for the group. If we get a win or draw out of one of the two meetings, it will be a sign of how well we are doing.
Predicted Finish - 1st

Demot and the Marauders have agreed to a friendly on Matchday Zero and the Marauders are looking for another for matchday 7.5. When asked if he had a preference of who would take up the cup and play in the ESF, Florintine replied with,

"Well anyone will do. We just want to express our desire to build friendly relationships with the nations we will be competing against. Our only condition is that they come to the Angelotic Temple in Longview for the match."

Also, Kyla Night has been choosen to represent the ESF in the shootout competition. Night is the leading scorer in the ESF national team history, and should represent the squad well. Stay tuned to the papers and news for the up to the minute news and updates. This is Ron Santapa signing off.

EAGLES SCHEDULE LAID OUT

Spruitland (20)
Lylybium (207)
[url=http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11464160&postcount=18Virginia Nova (86)[/url]
Rordia (68)
Los Mexico (-)
Nouvelle Angleterre (148)
Yafor 2 (51)
Ariddia (16)


These are our Foes in group 10


Spruitland (20) We Have Faced these guys
Before,and didn't do to well. Maybe now with a more expierienced squad we can compete with them.

LylyBium (207) A
novice team who struggled in the BoF,These Guys should be an easy target
for victory

RorDia (68) Another foe
we have faced before,maybe again our expirerience can catch up to them

Los Mexico The Groups Unranked team, is a very proud of it's athletics type of Nation. These guys
could easily play spoilers.

Nouvelle Angleterre (148) Missed out on making the
Qualifying Stages Last year by a few posts...errrr...Points,this team Could again play spoiler.


YafFor 2 (51) These are by far our toughist
Compitition. We will have to fight these gus tooth and nail if we want to
qualify

Ariddia (16) Highest Ranked team. Little need to say here

Our schedule is consisting of the following

MD 0 TBA
MD 1 Eagles VS Yafor 2 @ Ukrops Stadium Nova Richmond
MD 2 Eagles VS Arridia @ Arridia
MD 3 Eagles VS Spriutland @ Spriutland
MD 4 Eagles VS Rordia @ Ukrops Stadium Nova Richmond
MD 5 Eagles VS Lylybium @ First Tennesee Bank Stadium New Gatlinburg
MD 6 Eagles VS Los Mexico @ Ukrops Stadium Nova Richmond
MD 7 Eagles VS Nouvelle Angleterre @ Nouvelle Angleterre
MD 7.5 see below
MD 8 Eagles VS Yafor 2 @ Yafor 2
MD 9 Eagles VS Arridia @ the Star Dome New Virginia Beach
MD10 Eagles VS Spruitland @ Ukrops Stadium Nova Richmond
MD11 Eagles VS Rordia @ Rordia
MD12 Eagles VS Lylybium @ Lylybiumn
MD13 Eagles VS Los Mexico @ Los Mexico
MD14 Eagles VS Nouvelle Angleterre @ Ukrops Stadium Nova Richmond


Group Finishing order predictions

1.Arridia
2.Yafor 2
3.Virginia Nova
4.Spruitland
5.Rordia
6.Nouvelle Angleterre
7.Los Mexico
Dead Fucking Last.Lylybium


Eagles to play Greens on Matchday 7.5

on announcement of the WC30 Schedule, The VSL made it's own announcement. The VSL and it's subsidiary Colony Regional Football,has announced a Freindly Game betwen Virginia Nova and it's own puppet....er.....colony The Colony Of Delaware. The Game will be played at Blue Hen Stadium(Cap 24,698) on The University of Delaware's campus in Wilmington City.

Marion Oaks 2 Schedule

MD0 Virginia Nova VS Marion Oaks 2
MD1 Wentland VS Marion Oaks 2
MD2 Marion Oaks 2 VS Cataduanes
MD3 Delesa VS Marion Oaks 2
MD4 Marion Oaks 2 VS Marceau
MD5 Marion Oaks 2 VS The Greatest Crap
MD6 United island empires vs Marion Oaks 2
MD7 Marion Oaks 2 VS Jeruselem
MD7.5 Marion Oaks 2 VS Toranat
MD8 Marion Oaks 2 VS Wentland
MD9 Cataduanes VS Marion Oaks 2
MD10 Marion Oaks 2 VS Delesa
MD11 Marceau VS Marion Oaks 2
MD12 The Greatest Crap VS Marion Oaks 2
MD13 Marion Oaks 2 VS United Island Empires
MD14 Jeruselem VS Marion Oaks 2

Marion Oaks 2 Schedule

MD0/MD7.5 - Looking to play against either toranat or alif laam miim for the Friendly games. so please if any one of you read this let me know if you want to play the friendly games.
MD0 (TBD)
MD1 Wentland VS Marion Oaks 2
MD2 Marion Oaks 2 VS Cataduanes
MD3 Delesa VS Marion Oaks 2
MD4 Marion Oaks 2 VS Marceau
MD5 Marion Oaks 2 VS The Greatest Crap
MD6 United island empires vs Marion Oaks 2
MD7 Marion Oaks 2 VS Jeruselem
MD7.5 (TBD)
MD8 Marion Oaks 2 VS Wentland
MD9 Cataduanes VS Marion Oaks 2
MD10 Marion Oaks 2 VS Delesa
MD11 Marceau VS Marion Oaks 2
MD12 The Greatest Crap VS Marion Oaks 2
MD13 Marion Oaks 2 VS United Island Empires
MD14 Jeruselem VS Marion Oaks 2

I'll Play a Freindly on MD0. TG me for details

ok its a deal

ooc: Marion Oaks 2, MD 7.5 is okay.

Rockies Put in Tough Group

The Rockies have been put into a group with; Qazox(44), Tadjikstan(12), Commerce Heights(23), Miceland(135), Raging Penguins(81), The Doja(UR), Swilatia(64). The team may get lucky, but be prepared for a 6th, 7th or 8th place finish.

Schedule

MD0(tg me if wanted)
MD1 vs Swilatia
MD2 @ Miceland
MD3 @ Tadjikstan
MD4 @ Commerce Heights
MD5 vs Qazox
MD6 vs Raging Penguins
MD7 @ The Doja
MD7.5 @ Marion Oaks 2
MD8 @ Swilatia
MD9 vs Miceland
MD10 vs Tadjikstan
MD11 vs Commerce Heights
MD12 @ Qazox
MD13 @ Raging Penguins
MD14 vs The Doja

To: Whomever it may concern in Bedistan
From: The Ministry of Morale, New Montreal, NMS
Re: Bring it

Time to throw down. One home-and-away series, in whatever order you so desire.

Columbia will burn again.

Sincerely,

Marcel Maisonneuve, Minster of Morale.

There was a hush over the assembled media as Trevor Franklin, who was the chairman of the Board of Directors for the now defunct EG Inc, A Bazalonian games company that was the target of a Cyber-Terrorist attack. EG Inc. had created a game it called Soccer World Online, a game that had many simularities to NMSoft's World cup new 11-vs-11 feature and it's so called "footie.net". Combine in the new "Build your own nation"aspect of it and well the similiarities where too conincidental

"Thank you everyone for coming today, As I was the Chair of the Board for EG Inc. It is part of my duty to uphold the Intellectual Property of EG Inc. even though the company has died Intellectual Property laws continue to protect. Once we heard that NMSoft had included the 11-11 style of play I started to run my own investigation. As the legal controller of all now defunct EG Inc. IP I needed to ensure that NMSoft would be paying it's dues.

However what my investigation has uncovered was not only similiarities but many aspects of the new features even the so called 'combo' in NMSoft's Football World Cup 30 has been stolen from the 'trick' of Soccer World Online. With that today I have, on behalf of the IP Owners of EG Inc. have filed a Civil action against NMSoft's for breach of copyright laws, loss of income and a few other avenues may be added after further investigation. Thank you for your attendance."

With that Trevor stepped down and dissappeared behind a curtain.

..................

(OOC: Edit in partiular stuff in a bit, I have to go atm)

Eagles to Play MO2 in MD 0

The VSL is pleased to announce the the Virginia Nova Eagles will be playing the Marion Oaks 2 National Squad. Detals about the match are as follows

Game Type:Freindly
Location: Bank Of Carolina Stadium,New Charlotte,Carolina
Teams Particpating: Both National Squads from Virginia Nova and Marion Oaks 2
Date: Match Day 0
Time 6pm VN time
Hosting Nation: Virginia Nova

Group five has to be one of the toughest groups for an unranked team to try to qualify but is not imposible in every world cup there's a surprise team that beats all odds the Eseckian National Team is confident they will be the one this year.

"We're a young team and every disadvantage we have is also an advantage because none of the teams here are familiar with our exellent strikers, amazing playmakers and unpenetrable defense coving a goal sealed by the best goal keepers in the world" Coach Xam said.

Goal Keeper Adrich Richards said, "We don't know much about the other teams but I know we're in a tough group and that inspires us to go about playing harder than ever, we will win"

"Out of all of the teams we know that our toughest challenges will com against the likes of Krytenia, Spaam and Vuam and Isma, but that does not mean that the other teams will go easy on us after all we all have our eyes set on the gold at the end of the tunnel" Captain Ragde Azhka said.


The Group is composed of the following teams and the matches Eseck will play are underneath

Eseck (-)
Krytenia (6)
Tocapa (158)
Spaam (29)
Risa-Aramour (83)
Peturbed Lepoard (191)
Vuam and Isma (37)
Rorysville (70)


MD0: Erinunderra v Eseck Wednesday 16th August
MD1: Eseck v Risa-Armour Thursday 17th August
MD2: Peturbed Lepoard v Eseck Friday 18th August
MD3: Eseck v Tocapa Sunday 20th August
MD4: Eseck v Kyrtenia Monday 21st August
MD5: Spaam v Eseck Wednesday 23rd August
MD6: Eseck v Vuam and Isma Thursday 24th August
MD7: Rorysville v Eseck Friday 25th August
MD7.5: Friendly games Saturday 26th August
MD8: Risa-Armour v Eseck Sunday 27th August
MD9: Eseck v Peturbed Leopard Tuesday 29th August
MD10: Tocapa v Eseck Wednesday 30th August
MD11: Krytenia v Eseck Friday 1st September
MD12: Eseck v Spaam Saturday 2nd September
MD13: Vuam and Isma v Eseck Monday 4th September
MD14: Eseck v Rorysville Tuesday 5th Spetember

The Team Nickname for the Marion Oaks Soccer team has been announced earlier at a press conference today:

Earlier today i spoke to marion Oaks 2 Manager.

Stephen Gagnier SR: i know why you are all here today it is to find out the team nickname of the Marion Oaks team and the new updated schedule.

Well first thing first The Team Nickname of Marion Oaks 2 is ................. Gators. So lets all wish the gators good luck this year.

Now for the updated schedule :

MD0 Virginia Nova VS Marion Oaks 2
MD1 Wentland VS Marion Oaks 2
MD2 Marion Oaks 2 VS Cataduanes
MD3 Delesa VS Marion Oaks 2
MD4 Marion Oaks 2 VS Marceau
MD5 Marion Oaks 2 VS The Greatest Crap
MD6 United island empires vs Marion Oaks 2
MD7 Marion Oaks 2 VS Jeruselem
MD7.5 Marion Oaks 2 VS Toranat
MD8 Marion Oaks 2 VS Wentland
MD9 Cataduanes VS Marion Oaks 2
MD10 Marion Oaks 2 VS Delesa
MD11 Marceau VS Marion Oaks 2
MD12 The Greatest Crap VS Marion Oaks 2
MD13 Marion Oaks 2 VS United Island Empires
MD14 Jeruselem VS Marion Oaks 2



announcer: you heard it folks the National socer team is now he Marion Oaks Gators. And 2 new opponents have been announced for MD0: Virginia Nova for MD 7.5 Toranat.

Stay tuned on MOSC (Marion Oaks spots channel) for allthe updates on Marion Oaks soccer. remember if you want the best coverage of the Gators World cup soccer team, go to MOSC the only #1 sports channel in Marion Oaks 2

The Eseck National Squad has announced to the press that they want to have two pre-qualifier friendlies and one in between the first half and second half of the qualifiers they're still looking to confirm matches

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/DSFemalesMedia.jpg

Mystical Unicorns Ready For WC30
The Original Pink and Green

Queen Sonya Sabre sat alone in her hotel room in Ashford, Casari where she had been following the performances of Summer Olympic athletes from the Sylvanaes Kingdom. And quite shockingly for the rest of the world, D&S was leading the Medal chase there. At least some things were going in favor of the Sylvanaes Kingdom.

She lifted her head at the soft knock on the door. She had been waiting for Anne Marie to deliver the results of the Group Draw for WC30. The door closed again and the Queen surveyed the list she had been given. She scowled as she looked at the draw. Once again qualification for the Mystical Unicorns would be a very hard thing to achieve. WC29 had seen the two-headed dragon of Rejistania/Sarzonia firmly hold the two coveted spots. This time it was the combination of Fmjphoenix/TnUI that would be hard to unseat.

But other than the top two sides, everything else seemed to be looking alright. Having reached 49th in the rankings, D&S would be the third seed. But close on their heels is the side from One Red Dot. The Unicorns were familiar with them from the latest installment of the Cup of Harmony where the Unicorns failed to win that matchup. But the Queen was sure that things would be very different this time around. The Mystical Unicorns were ready for a hard push at the top.

The rest of the group is considerably weaker as Khenas sits 5th at 101. But that does not guarantee anything for the Unicorns. The Queen had been present to watch them implode against lower ranking opponents before. But for the most part, it seemed to offer a bit of a chance to relax and just play.

So what of the chances for the Unicorns for qualification? The Queen considered that one for a long moment. It was a long-shot chance at best, but it could be done. Others have managed to qualify from the same ranking level before. And if Fmjphoenix or TnUI slips up, we could just find ourselves in the WC proper.

Predictions
1. Fmjphoenix - The class of the group. Should easily take the top spot.
2. TnUI - Tough, but sliding some in the ranks. Still a solid second
3. One Red Dot - Will continue to strive to make it back to the top
4. D&S - We just know our luck
5. Khenas - Might be able to knock us down another spot
6. Socialist Romanistan - The unranked side will get past the other two
7. The Colony of Delaware - Couldn’t handle things in the BoF when facing top teams there.
8. KCToker - Toke up boys, it’s a long way through this thing in last place.

The Mystical Unicorns start things off at home against TnUI. This should tell us a lot about where our girls are at. Chances are that we will not do well in this one. Or the one at Fmj on MD3. But after that we have a chance to make some real progress. Where will we end up? That is anyone’s guess at this point.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

NATIONAL TEAM ANNOUNCES FRIENDLY AGAINST IMPERIAL SINNERS
Monks to Take on Porn Stars and Strippers

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association and Holy Empire Football Association today announced a friendly between the new-look Archregimancy side and the Holy Empire of Alasdair I Frosticus' squad of porn stars and strippers.

"While we in no way endorse the sinful behaviour of the Imperial squad, playing against such people as Busty LaRue and her twin sister Chesty - not to mention this 'Annabelle Foxxxxx', if that is her real name - should give our less experienced new internationals some experience of playing against non-monastic teams. Especially some of the more heathen and heretical sinning opposition we might face" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity.

The Holy Synod of the Archregimancy is said to have protested directly to the Basileus over His Imperial Majesty's order that the Imperial 'Team xXx' should play all of its home qualifiers in the Archregimancy, but that the Basileus rejected the protest on the principle that Team xXx were all baptised Orthodox, and that it was the Archregimancy's Christian duty to forgive sinners. However, the Holy Synod is said to have successfully insisted that the Holy Empire's home match against the Anathematic Republics take place at a neutral venue. Volunteers to host the 'sinners match of the century' are being actively sought.

This reporter attempted to interview Imperial midfielder Bambi Cerise for this story, but as she merely giggled and batted her eyelids at me for half an hour, I have little further to report.

Greg Hughes walked into the player's clubhouse, they were all playing the latest World Cup video game. "How's it going guys." Hughes said, he got no real answer back, just some grunts and nods. "I've got some news, we have two friendlies set up. One against Winchestia and one in Tocapa. We should win these, but we gotta keep active."

"Alright coach." they all said, almost in unison.

"Now go do some drills!" Hughes yelled.

Winchestia Times Special Report:
Human Party Leader Sam Waterton, Higgleton Post building missing

Earlier today it was discovered that the entire Higgleton Post building disappeared. After a preliminary investigation by the Higgleton Police, it was determined that no outside force created this situation, but it was caused by something inside the building. In other news, Human Part leader Sam Waterton has vanished. It is not known if the two incidents are directly related, but witnesses said they saw Waterton enter the building early in the morning and never leave.

The Winchestia Times would like to categorically state that NO member of their staff, management or affiliate had anything to do whatsoever with the events of today. Though we disagreed with Waterton's recent actions, we will always remember him fondly as one of our finest editors and his apparent death is a blow to us all.

Sport News
Winchestia To Go On Tour Before World Cup Qual.

It was announced today that the Winchestia Cooks will go on a World Tour to help soften their image as racists. They will play matches in System Karela and Quakmybush, in what should be great tune-ups for the World Cup. The Karela match was made well in advance, however today's announcement also brought to life the rumors that Winchestia were looking for another tune-up.

Taylor Tinley To Play After All

In what is sure to be seen as a controversial move, Manager Jody Shawl has stated that controversial defender Taylor Tinley WILL be a part of the WC roster.

Manager Shawl had this to say: "After many talks with Taylor and the Higgleton Police since this morning's 'accident', I have determined that Taylor was more of a patriot than even I gave him credit for. He has asked for me not to go into details, but I stand behind him 100%. He will be included in the World Cup squad"

Konigseifert Chronicle
Yes, It's That Time Again
Royal Federation dealt into 14th Qualifying Division for World Cup 30

Once again, we prepare to bring you coverage for the greatest sporting competition in the World... the World Cup. Coveted by many, it can only be won by one nation. Twenty-nine installments have come and gone, and now's the time for the big triple-X, number thirty. This one will be hosted by Schiavonia and the Islands of Qutar, and the Royal Federation of Geisenfried's national team hopes to make it their for the first time. But so do the seven other teams in the Fourteenth Qualifying Group. So now's the time for us to preview the group that our team is in and show who has a chance, and who needs to try hard just to stay out of the cellar. Without further adieu, here we go.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rejistania.jpg
Rejistania
Rank: 8
WC29 Results: Qualified 2nd in Group 7 with 26 points behind Sarzonia, beaten by Casari in semifinals and by Krytenia in third place game.
Comments: These guys have won the most World Cups, with 4 to their name, though the last one was 28 years ago. However, they still remain as one of the strongest teams in the world, as the 8th in the world rank would attest, and they're likely going to be a force to be reckoned with in this World Cup.
Chances: 1st in division and qualification, without too much trouble.

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Dance 2 Revolution
Rank: 26
WC29 Results: Qualified 2nd in Group 1 with 34 points behind Squornshelous, did not pass group stage.
Comments: An experienced side to say the least, they seemed to have experienced a dip as of late, which means it will be quite a catfight between D2R, Bazalonia and us for the second qualification spot.
Chances: If they play up to their ranking, they'll qualify. But can they play up to their ranking?

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Bazalonia
Rank: 40
WC29 Results: Did not qualify, placed 4th in Group 8 with 21 points.
Comments: Our neighbors across the channel now stand as an obstacle between the Golden Eagles and qualification. This side that has been slowly growing stronger but has yet to make the final leap into qualification. The question is it their year? or ours? Or neither? It should be noted that in recent World Cup history, Geisenfried has yet to lose to the 3rd seed, with 3 wins and a draw in their last two cups, if our records are correct.
Chances: They most definitely have a chance to qualify. But so do we, and D2R as well.

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Geisenfried
Rank: 65
WC29 Results: Did not qualify, placed 3rd in Group 11 with 20 points.
Comments: Here we are. Quite a change from unranked only 8 years ago, no? More than ever before, our Royal Federation is close to qualifying, but can the national team finally reach it? The team is known for pulling out stunning upsets, but also tends to underachieve against the lower ranks. If they can continue pulling upsets while taking control of the lower ranks like they should, then Geisenfried could very well be in the World Cup 30 proper.
Chances: Qualification is a realistic possibility. We think they can and will do it, but then again, we're supposed to be optimistic about our own team.

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System Karela
Rank: 111
WC29 Results: Did not qualify, placed 7th in Group 4 with 12 points.
Comments: The top of the bottom, with quite a significant distance between the next highest and the next lowest. Don't know too much about the team, except that they follow the Rejistanian total defense style or 'System Karela', hense their name.
Chances: All signs point to 5th, in our opinion.

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Ropa-Topia
Rank: 175
WC29 Results: Did not participate in WC29. Beaten in regional quarterfinals of Baptism of Fire.
Comments: A nation fresh from the Baptism of Fire competition. We can't say we have much information on these guys, but they didn't do too bad in the BoF. Then again, so did we and we got crushed in World Cup 24...
Chances: Should be able to stay out from the cellar, but won't end up much higher than that.

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Commerce Heights, Jasiyun Football Association
Rank: 178
WC29 Results: Did not participate in WC29. Beaten in regional quarterfinals of Baptism of Fire.
Comments: Commerce Heights in our group? Yes, and no. While this team does hail from the Unified Capitalizt States, this team is from the weaker Jasiyun football association, compared to the Capitalizt SLANI team that most people are familiar with.
Chances: Will be battling out with Ropa-Topia for 6th. We think they have a slight edge over their opponents, though.

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Champlaign
Rank: None
WC29 Results: Did not participate in WC29 or the Baptism of Fire.
Comments: Division 14's unranked. Can't say we know much about these guys, but a lot of teams are going to get 6 points from these guys.
Chances: They're going to be cannon fodder for the rest of the division. 8th place for these guys.


Next, we would like to present the schedule:
Dance 2 Revolution ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? System Karela
Geisenfried ?-? Champlaign
Rejistania ?-? Geisenfried
Bazalonia ?-? Geisenfried
Ropa-Topia ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Commerce Heights JSY
Geisenfried ?-? Dance 2 Revolution
System Karela ?-? Geisenfried
Champlaign ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Rejistania
Geisenfried ?-? Bazalonia
Geisenfried ?-? Ropa-Topia
Commerce Heights JSY ?-? Geisenfried
Home games in Red, Away in Black

Finally, as of current, the RFFA has not announced if they have any friendlies, but we've been told that they have sent invitations to a couple of nations concerning these friendlies. If these invitations are accepted, we'll be here to tell you who our national team will be facing.

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Conversation With Evan Evans

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from FNN headquarters in Errion Vega. And tonight we have a very special guest, Evan Evans - Captain of the Sea Dragons for what is it, Evan, the sixth time?

That’s right Kellan. 6 times now I have been the Captain of the Sea Dragons. This has been my squad since I was just 21 years old. But this will be my final trip to the whole World Cup experience

It is well known that you considered retirement after the last Cup. What was it that made you decide to return?

Yeah. I did consider hanging up my shoes. It isn’t quite the same without Unami back there. Sure he coaches the defense now, but that’s not the same. What made me come back was that I still have some unfinished business with the World Cup. We have had a great run, especially in qualifying for the past three cups. But it was my dream early on to see the Sea Dragons make it to the second round of the World Cup proper. That’s why I am back, along with some others who will retire after this campaign.

So what do you think of the Sea Dragons chances of doing just that this time?

I think we definitely have a shot. As long as we take care of business and qualify again. Surely Rejistania can’t be in our group for a third straight time.

Speaking of qualifying, the group draw has been announced earlier today. A couple of familiar faces along with some new ones. How will this thing play out?

Ahhh! The Million Dollar Question. But things do look good at first glance. If you don’t mind, I would like to run through Group 12.

No problem, Evan. Let us know what you think.

#7 New Montreal States tops the group again for us. They did the same last cup. But we did manage to beat them once at their place before letting them win here. We can hope for results like that this time.

#38 Magnus Valerius These guys have been on the rise and will be tough to beat. We have not faced them before, but I can assure you there are about 20 or so squads we would rather have chasing us than these guys. Tough. Every single match. Should be a great series.

#80 Green Wombat We faced these guys in the group stage of WC27, I think. And we had great results both times. If they had shown up for WC28, they would be much tougher. Maybe. But one thing is certain. Green Wombats are a favorite meal of Sea Dragons.

#77 Harlesburg These guys used to be much tougher, but have really slipped of late. They might make a run, but we think the Wombats will move past them.

#177 Carvalo & #178 Lexington SC Both are fresh from the BoF. Both have a solid future ahead of them - If Lexington can avoid mod-bombs. But the level of competition goes way up now, and neither of these guys were good enough to make the final four of the BoF. They might make a run - on 4th place for the group.


Unranked Horgate Shouldn’t be a problem. But then again people said that about Quakmysomethingorother last cup.

That about sums that up. We have just received word that the Sea Dragons will face Cuation in a MD0 friendly. It is always good to face our friends. What are your thoughts on the match?

We have always had close ties with Cuation. That dates back to tragic events when we were both competing for a BoF title. That they won - damn them. But we do like playing these guys. Add the fact that one of our own, Unori Banta-N’bai, was passed over for their Manager gig, and we want to prove they made a mistake.

Well, that is all the time we have today. Tune in next time when our special guest will be……..Oh my Gosh, Not Him!……He hates me!………Uhhhhh…..Micah “Knee-Breaker” Swift will be here. Maybe.

QSPN FOOTBALL TONIGHT
W/ New Host Tim Brady

Tim Brady: Welcome back to the highest rated football show in Qazox, QSPN FOOTBALL TONIGHT. I'm your new host, Tim Brady. As most of you already know, our former host, Ben Rottenburger was in a motorcycle accident the other day and will be unable to host until he heals. Our best to Ben and his family.

The Group draw for WORLD CUP xXx occured earlier today and here's the group daraw for the Black Oxen:

Group 7

Tadjikistan (12)
Commerce Heights (23)
Qazox (44)
Swilatia (64)
Raging Penguins (81)
The Mice of Miceland (135)
Toranat (185)
The Doja (-)

As you can see Qazox is a top-three seed once again, and seemingly has a relatively easy draw but as we are all too familar with disappiontment, the out look as vote on by the fans and our 11 football experts here at QSPN, are as follows: (fans vote in bold, expert's votes in Italics)

Who Will win the Group? (119,598 votes)
Tadjikistan 45.9% 9
Qazox 23.8%
Commerce Heights 21.8% 2
The Mice of Miceland 4.1%
Raging Penguins 3.9%
Toranat 0.47%
The Doja 0.03%

And for the best part the Schedule:

MD0 (Friendly) vs. Tynelia (ooc: if you agree) @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD1 vs. The Mice of Miceland @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD2 @ Raging Penguins
MD3 vs. Commerce Heights @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg, Capacity: 90,000.
MD4 vs. Tadjikistan @ Black Hole, Gothika, Capacity: 61,000.
MD5 @ Toranat
MD6 vs. Swilatia @ Estadio Azul Flores, Cuidad Iguana, Capacity: 71,000.
MD7 @ The Doja
MD 7.5 (Friendly) @ Green Wombat (ooc: if you agree)
MD 8 @ The Mice of Miceland
MD 9 vs. Raging Penguins @ Estadio Azul Flores, Cuidad Iguana, Capacity: 71,000.
MD 10 @ Commerce Heights
MD 11 @ Tadjikistan
MD 12 vs. Toranat @ Black Hole, Gothika, Capacity: 61,000.
MD 13 @ Swilatia
MD 14 vs. The Doja @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg, Capacity: 90,000.

Tommorrow, we'll have our experts break down Group 7 and predict the other 14 groups.

FREE WOMBATIAN DAILY
(ooc: Qazox... BRING IT ON!!!! is the host(s) gonna scorinate this match? also on MD0 Green Wombat will play Sativaville in a friendly)

As the weirdly named Zombie Wombats prepare for their 3rd try to reach the World Cup, the group draw was announced and Green Wombat has a tough row to hoe as it were:

Group 12
Magnus Valerius (38)
Green wombat (80)
Horgate (-)
New Montreal States (7)
Carvalo (177)
Lexington SC (178)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (22)
Harlesburg (77)

We're the 5th seed, but its basically a toss-up between ASMV and NMS (the battle of the Initials) as to whose gonna win the group. Magnus Valerius is a vastly improved squad since the last cup and may challenge for the 2nd spot. The true battles seem to be for 4th between GW and Harlesburg and Carvalo and Lexington SC with Horgate expected to finish well back in the pack. with a couple of upsets here and there, Green Wombat could contend, but missing out on Wc 28 has done more harm than good, but a decent result here will make Green Wombat a team to fear in the next Cup.

ooc:tag
will edit into an RP later, I don't have the energy right now.

(ooc: of course Sativaville will play GW on MD0 and on MD 7.5 any way that I could have a split-squad game [Sativaville vs. Sativaville??])

SATIVAVILLE STONER

By Monty Python

Its time for the 30th World Cup and once again Sativaville has somehow snuck its way into the tourney. These afficanados of (word Deleted) have somehow impressed the world enough to be ranked 89th out of over 200 teams. We're better thatn half the world? Gawd Damn.

Anyway, the group Sativaville has to face this time is not as tough as last time, but still will mount a challenge:

#9- Squornshelous Played them last time out and got killed badly. this time only severly maimed.
#33- Becquerelia (the most mispronouned team in the history of the world cup) Have no idea who they are or how they got so high, but we can beat them.
#48- Kericia Once again no idea who they are but they sound like a type of plant we smoke here.
#71- Vilita We have heard of them, but since they are sliding faster than a fireman down a firepole, we'll beat them also.
#155- The Weegies- I think that we'll Wedgie past these weenies.
#200- Uncle Pete If they're anything like my Uncle Pete, they'll be in jail for undisclosed reasons.
NR- Sashonska I think that was the name of the Sasquatch in "Dude Where's my Sasquatch?".

So if form holds, there will be a sweet smell of Sativa in the World Cup.

Elven Sports Network
Currently Airing: Football Central

Rich: Good evening ladies, gents, and otherwise. Welcome to tonight's edition of Football central, I'm your host Richard Rios.

Jenn: And I'm Jennifer Sar here to present you with the facts.

R: Right right Jennifer. Well to start off our show, I have a few questions for you.

J: Shoot.

R: Ok! What was it like to play in the WWC? And what will you do now that you've retired from both domestic and international play?

J:Well it was a unique expierence. It's just a shame that we didn't qualify for the proper, but we did get 17th, so the team has something to work on. As for what I'll be doing now, it's simple. I've been hired as a full time analyist for the show and not just guest appearances.

R: Sounds good on my part. You certainly are a prettier face than Jason. Now onto the Marauders. What do you think of their chances to qualify.

J: Normally I would be dismal and say we wouldn't qualify but place 3rd of 4th like last Cup, but my gut says that the team somehow manages to bump the three squads ranked ahead of them and take that spot. Besides, Dwier and Ashley deserve to go out knowing that ESF Football is on the rise.

R: Alright, well what about the schedule?

J: Well rather than try to explain it to the viewers, I've prepared this diagram.


MD0: ESF vs Demot
@ The Battleground (48,000) in Raynor City
MD1: Turori v ESF
MD2: ESF v Farstra
@ Hatire Memorial (55,000) @ Capri
MD3: ESF v Allocer
@ Angelotic Temple (67,000) in Longview
MD4: ESF v Northern Caesarea
@ Donna Cathedral (43,000) in Mar Sara
MD5: Sarzonia v ESF
MD6: Kaze Progressa v ESF
MD7: ESF v The Island of Ishtar
@ The White Fortress (62,000) in Gladerial
MD7.5: ESF v ?
@ Angelotic Temple (67,000) in Longview
MD8: ESF v Turori
@ Orange Gate Falls (37,000) in Monaven
MD9: Farstra v ESF
MD10: Allocer v ESF
MD11: Northern Caesarea v ESF
MD12: ESF v Sarzonia
@ The Battleground (48,000) in Raynor City
MD13: ESF v Kaze Progressa
@ Hatire Memorial (55,000) in Capri
MD14: The Island of Ishtar v ESF


R: Well they certainly did a good job in picking the venues. Clearly the ESC was trying to provide the best advantage possible for the Marauders.

J: Agreed.

R: Well that's it for this episode. Tune in next time when we have coverage following the friendly with Demot.

End Broadcast

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Where Good News Dies In A Hurry

Maybe A Good Thing?
Catious Malli Projects Good Things For Side Ravaged By Aridda

Eastentown - Normally we ignore the predictions made that we can somehow make it to back-to-back World Cup Finals, what with that bad 7-game loss streak in WCXXIV and the slip-up against our friendly rivals Nedalia in XXVIII. And we'd be catious to agree with predictions of Finals after the manslaughter and bad calling in the 6-2 thrashing by Aridda in Casari. Or the lack of success of the club sides in the NSFA Cup or Champions League. Or how our U-23 Mens and Womens sides failed to even meet the modest goals of the CFA in the Olympics (Mens - Final 16, Women - ok, they were expected to bring a matching Gold to the Ylompics and yet failed to inspire while others sent their A-sides after WWC Qualifying).

And yet, National Coach Yerevan Malli thinks he can bank his next contract on a Finals slot. And he has, thanks in a large part to the draw giving the Orange Stars a #2 seed in the draw and a good chance of making another final.

"I'm done if we're done," a defiant Malli said at a press conference unveiling the official roster for World Cup 30 - basically the same as #29, but with two new keepers to back new starter Niome Washington - and continued by stating "The team has begun to show just how mean we can be and we have to play above our potential if we want to finally break into the Knockout stages. And I will resign if we fail to make the Finals."

Thems fighting words, in reality, considering the Orange Stars (along with Kaze Progressa) snuck past the higher seeds in The Archregimancy and Milchama to make it last time and must easily be wtaching their back with fellow AO rivals The Lowland Clans and unknown Spaamanian Plijous right there in seeding.

Official Orange Stars Schedule (International sites listed if known)
MD01 @ Winchestia (@ Winchestia National Stadium, Wendle)
MD02 v Spaamanian Plijous (@ Red Bull Stadium, Aspern)
MD03 v Liverpool England (@ Southampton National Square)
MD04 @ Hiiraan
MD05 @ Benlandngdo
MD06 @ The Lowland Clans
MD07 v Errinundera (@ Lis Stadia, Acadia)
MD08 v Winchestia (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD09 @ Spaamanian Plijous
MD10 @ Liverpool England
MD11 v Hiiraan (@ Easten National Plaza, Eastentown)
MD12 v Benlandngdo (@ Strikers Fieldhouse, Star Point)
MD13 v The Lowland Clans (@ Douala Grand Palace)
MD14 @ Errinundera

Predictions!

Obviously LE is the faves to make it to the Finals, thanks in a large part to that rather lovely #5 KPB ranking. Chicanada does have some distance on the others with their #28 compared to #41 Lowlands and #55 Spaamanian Plijous, but Kaze made it from the low 50s last time and Chicanada tends to stumble when a higher seed. Hiiraan, making a long-overdue return, is also a threat regardless of seed. Errinundera apparently won this sometime in the past but we are unsure if their past success will help them this go-around.

But we'll go for it and give them a slot. No, they won't win the Qualifying Group like they did last time, but they should outpace the Lowland Clans to make the Finals.

Projected Final Order:

1. Liverpool England
2. Chicanada
3. The Lowland Clans
4. Hiiraan
5. Spaamanian Plijous
6. Errinundera
7. Winchestia
8. Benlandngdo

Of course, in reality #2-#8 could be in any order, especially the bottom 4. Winchestia might build off their BoF trials to edge off Benlandngdo, even though Winchestia is a much lower seed. We also like surprises, hence Hiiraan and Errinundera's placements.

In the other qualifiers:

In Group 2 (yay Group #1!) we're saying Milchama is making it back to the Finals. Yes we are. And they, in a shock, bring Cuation instead of Oliverry to the show.

Over in Group 3, we're still not sure how the hell Casari got all the way to #4, let alone won a World Cup title in such a short time (lots of role plays, we guess). But the defending Champs will make the Finals and probably make a sun to the semis, with McPsychoville holding off Hakari.

In Group 4, Vilita will continue to slide way the hell down the ranks while Becquerelia and Squornshelous head off to the xXx party.

Group 5, even with our beloved pals in Risa-Aramour, will belong to Krytenia and Spaam. But the longhorns will get revenge against Vuam and Isla and finish in the top 4. Mark our words (especially when we're wrong).

Sometimes we wonder how the draw is really done, for Starblaydia and Bettia got the "Who's dat?" sectional in Group 6. And should easily take advantage of it by wining the qual slots.

Group 7 should break in favor of Tadjikistan, but as for the second slot we're torn between Commerce Heights and Qazox for the other. This could go down to the final game before either break for the second slot. We'll hedge our bets on Qazox making their first final, but don't be surprised when we change it at mid-qualifying.

Jeruselem could be in a trap group in Group 8, with Wentland and Cataduanes very much dark horses. Usually you never bet against Jeruselem and we're not, and we'll take Wentland in the other slot.

Personally, we hope #16 Aridda looses every game in qualifying. But we never quite get what we want so they'll make it at the expense of Yafor 2. Spruitland will win Group 9.

In Group 10 you get polar opposities in news reports, as Hockey Cananda never says a word while the Archregimancy releases some of the most interesting news. And that should get the the top slot in the group. We do wonder if HC looses it's invincibility to shocker of the 29 Quals Quakmybush. Don't be surprised if the Commie Cannucks get bounced in quals this time.

Fmjphoneix leads the pack in Group 11 and should see the everpresent TnUI edge out Dorian and Sonya for the other slot.

Group 12's top side should be New Montreat States, but ASMV could upset the NMSers (and how did they get into the top ten before us? Lordie, are we that bad?). We don't see the other sides making a challenge to the top sides.

Bedistan should run over Group 13, like every time they are in a qualifying group. Nedalia shouldn't have a problem holding off the other group rivals to make the Finals again.

Group 14 shouldn't be a problem of Rejistania. But will this be the year someone else upsets them? No. Obviously. As for the other slot, D2R should hold off Bazalonia and Geisenfried for the second slot.

Huh. Turori is above their colonia masters in ranks. Huh. Anyways, the final group seems to have Sarzonia written all over it. Kaze, comming off a nice run with the OSers last cup, is probably the fave over Turori for the slot.

More later, of course ;)

After many ad breaks, Sports 24 was back on the air, Derek and Jude sitting there. Derek had been given a tongue lashing off air for questioning about the new manager but you couldn't tell by the looks on their faces.

DF: "Welcome back to this World Cup special. I am Derek Folds and with me is former manager and beloved leader Jude Takerath. The draw has been made but the first game will be friendly, I have been informed we will be playing the Sea Dragons, otherwise known as ASMV . A very popular team but what do you think?"

JT: "Well it will be the first game in charge for Seletarakeledira and it will give him a chance to see how quickly the team adapt to the 5-4-1 formation. ASMV have surpassed us recently, rising to 22 in the world, but unless either side gets thrashed, this game is excellent for both sides, testing, big crowds, good atmosphere and both sides have a point to prove. I think this will be the last game between both sides for many of the players, they will all want to do well. I think it will be won or lost on the wings and on both keepers proving strong on crosses, something Jude Tanner could learn from Shaun Conarky."

DF: "Remember, tickets are selling fast but if you phone up the Cuation FA very quickly, you may get lucky. Anyway into World Cup qualification. Our first game will be against the ever improving Lisburn Mateys, sitting at 67th in the world. We always seem to beat them so three points?"

JT: "We must never underestimate those we face and they are improving but I believe this should be an ideal game for the team to get used to the new tactics and to kick off our attempt to qualify with a win. Both sides will play a defensive 4-4-2 I believe but they may have the advantage of energy and we have to watch out for Amusi Akobyi. Still, I believe we win and we should try and keep a clean sheet."

DF: "Our second game will be against former giants, Sliponia who, after leaving the World Stage but have now returned but at 129th, they are not the force of old. Your thoughts on this game?"

JT: "They are an attacking side who will put us under pressure but could fall to our counter attacks. The players fit a 4-4-2 formation yet they claim to play a 5-1-4 formation that will risk leaving the midfield exposed. We will probably play a 4-4-2 to try and dominate this tricky tie. It is a game, we have to win and win well by being ruthless, by doing that we can establish our intentions to qualify, get a winning start and hopefully usher in consistency, and we must get three points at the least. We will avenge our 2-1 defeat in the last Cup of Harmony or else we are in trouble."

DF: "But can we win? This is the type of side we often lost points too in the past."

JT: "I think we will, as long as the defence stays organised, our attack has enough quality to destroy them on the counter attack. Giovanni, Rual, Fallen, all should prosper in this kind of game but it is our defending under such pressure that worries me. Hopefully these games will give us six points out of six and mean we hit the ground running."

DF: "Our third game is against ToopoxiaToopoxia in their first World Cup, an unknown team. Shouldn't we make it three wins out of three?"

JT: "Not much is known about them but they did get to the semi finals of their regional Bapitism of Fire but on paper, we are the better side. If we are to qualify, winning these games is a must, we must get rid of our habit of dropping points in games like these. I think we will win and get more practise at the art of defending in a 4-4-2 formation. By this point, we must have at least seven points or we will struggle to qualify."

DF: "Our fourth game is against Oliverry, the French Giants are 14th in the World and while we are better then when we last played them, this has to be a defeat?"

JT: "We could nick a draw but this is certainly a tough game that we will expect to lose, the trick will be bouncing back after the two tough games early on. Our 5-4-1 formation will have to contain them but I'm not sure that the manager will have enough time to make them solid enough yet to keep a clean sheet. Any point is a bonus but if we have won our last three, maybe momentum will help us?"

DF: "Well then Cuation faces Alif Laam in the 5th, down in the 190th rank, another easy game?"

JT: "Well this should be a game we win but again, we need to be consistent and the team may be feeling a little down after the last game. This side went out in the last sixteen of their Baptism of Fire, an embarrassing 5-0 loss shows they are not ready for this level. Facing an attacking 3-1-2-1-3 with our defensive 4-4-2, if we use the wings well, we should win and regain lost momentum."

DF: " Our sixth game is against Milchama, a good side that recently began running its mouth of about the team but"

Jude butted in about the press talk, clearly a little riled.

JT: "Yes the Cuation players would mind not qualifying, we have worked hard and it is agonising to come as close we have at times but we are not a team to underestimate. We have three semi finals in the Cup of Harmony, a decent record but we are not an infinitely beatable team as the idiot manager said. They should expect a hard from Cuation and I look forward to them chocking on their own words."

DF: "Still a tough game against an attacking side nine places above us, can we win?"

JT: "Yes, of course, we have beaten far better teams then that lot. We will probably play 5-4-1, if our defence can hold against the four man attack, we have enough quality going forward to give Clay Finton another night he will long to forget. We will need to win at least one of the two games against Milchama, I believe we can win this game and get an advantage going into the half way stage."

DF: "Our last game before the next friendly is against the unranked first timers BENKONATE. Can we lose it?"

JT: "If we can't win against this lot, we shouldn't bother trying to qualify, our 4-4-2 should be strong enough and the attacking players could have a feast. I just wonder if some of our players will be given a rest or if the manager will look for the first team to continue improving defensively."

DF: "Well we agreed not to talk beyond this half way point but what do you think Cuation need to do?"

JT: "The defence has to be stronger then that for awhile, Cuation must win against the lesser ranks, none of them should be a real threat and we have lost to many points in the past by failing to beat them. Get at least a draw against Milchama and try to avoid losing heavily against Oliverry."

DF: "Where do you think we will be half way through?"

JT: "Second or a close third and I think that is where we will finish though I do hope to qualify at the expense of Milchama."

((OOC- I actually managed to log in as Tynelia this time but I don’t expect to be able to every day still so I may have to post some or most of Tynelia’s RP under the Tessan puppet account. I will try to remember to label the RPs as to which nation its coming from on the off chance someone can't tell by the content))

<footage begins playing from TSN the Tynelian Sports Network live from the World Cup draw auditorium. A familiar figure steps into the camera range>

“Hello everyone, I’m Sal Spikeman for the Tynelian Sports Network where the draw coverage for the 30th World Cup is nearly completed. So far the Tynelian contingent is quite happy with the draw to this point and feels this could be their best shot ever with only one final team remaining to be picked. So far the top seed of the group is Bettia ranked at #18. Tynelian fans may recall that we faced Bettia back in our first World Cup try but were beaten twice by a combined 5-0 score. Since that time Tynelia has risen some 80 places in the ranks while Bettia has only picked up a handful so the matches this time hopefully won’t be so one sided.

“As for the rest of the group it only Nikea and Awal KB look familiar from last Cup though we were in different groups. Still with only three top 100 teams in the group this looks to be one of the easier groups with Bettia as the top seed. One second, now the final pick is being made and most Tynelian experts feel some high 20s or low 30s squad should fill out the group. Here’s the announcement and its…”

<Sal’s face turns a ghostly white as he stares blankly at the camera when the final team is announced. A whispered voice in the background calls out “Sal we’re still on the air.” Sal continues to stare blankly his lips moving but no sound coming from them until finally a single word can be heard>

“Starblaydia…”

<the cameraman waits expectantly for more but Sal continues to stare blankly saying only one thing>

“Starblaydia…”

<footage is cut off and we return to the Tynelian Soccer Weekly studio where a new team sit at the booth.>

“Hello everyone, this is Mike McPhee, the new host of Tynelian Soccer Weekly and I’m joined by another new face. Well a new face to the studio at least as longtime TSW watchers will certainly recognize Dana Lee at my side to handle the cohosting duties. Hello again Dana. Too bad about poor Sal.”

“Hello Mike, yes its a shame that Sal hasn’t recovered from his Starblaydi-itis that first appeared during the Draggonnii Inviyatti five years ago when Tynelia found itself facing a Starblaydia squad that had just been upset in the championship group play. We thought he had gotten over it but this group draw seems to have triggered it again.”

“Well let’s get things moving Dana. There was both good and bad news for Tynelia this time around in the draw. The good news is that after three tries Tynelia is now the third seeded team in their group and with the top two squads moving on this is on paper their best chance of advancing. The bad news is the top two seeds are killers.In fact group 6 has the most dominant top two in all of group play with the top two teams ranking adding to a mere 19. The next toughest pair of seeds come from group 3 which add to 28 and only three other groups combine to 30 or less. Clearly this will be the group of utter destruction for the rest of the pack.”

“That could play into the team’s hands though Mike. Several media sources including ones from Starblaydia and Chicanada are referring to the rest of the group as a bunch of unknown no-names other than the top two, despite the fact Tynelia faced Starblaydia in the DI. This dismissal has infuriated new Tynelian coach and a former World Cuper in WC27 Adam Billington who had this to say when told of the press comments.”

<footage plays from a press conference with Coach Billington>

“A bunch of unknowns are we?” Billington glared at the reporter, “Well fine let them all ignore us, you’d think after three Cups and a top fifty ranking we might have made some name for ourselves by now. But so be it. Let them look past us and get ready for their “certain” qualification, we wouldn’t be the first team to play above our ranking in these things. They might not have heard of us but we certainly know about them.

“ I played against Bettia twice when we were a bunch of clueless players just happy to be playing and we held them to fewer goals in their two matches than anyone else in the group including the top seed. We’ve gotten a lot better since then and we have a few guys here from the beginning that think this could be their last chance at a WC qualification. Jay, John, Andy, Amy, Tal they’ve all been around since our first Cup and know about Bettia, and don’t want to leave without even a taste of a World Cup spot so you know they’ll be coming to play. As for Starblaydia, it wasn’t five years ago we held the top team in the world to three goals and even managed to put one past their killer D. So don’t count on us as an easy win for anyone here. We’ll be surprising some people this time i think.”

<footage ends>

“That’s a pretty bold announcement by Coach Billington there Dana, but still you have to feel his anger at being lumped in with the teams that have barely had any World Cup experience if any. Maybe this will be the edge the team needs to maintain a steady flow through the entire Cup this time.”

“We can hope so, Tynelia’s always had two major problems in the Cup, the biggest problem is they always seem to hit a point in the Cup where they fail to score in four or five matches in a row which has doomed their chances of advancing. Its tough to win with a lot of 0s on the scoreboard. Some people think this is due to fatigue and perhaps because of this Coach Billington has officially announced that Tynelia will play no friendly matches during this Cup ((OOC- sorry Qazox)) to give the team maximum rest time and more importantly not allow other teams a chance to scout his team before the Cup begins. He has hinted that the whole team will be watching the Starblaydia pre-cup matchup very closely. This mid Cup slump will be Coach Billington’s biggest challenge to overcome.

“The second Mike, is the one Anna Dalespin had always talked of. Taking care of business against the teams ranked below them. In every past Cup, Tynelia has managed to stumble into a 0-1-1 mark against one of the bottom two or three teams, matches they should have gotten at least one win from. And of late even the bottom unranked seeds have given them trouble going 1-1-2 against them the last two cups.”

“The team will have to do better there Dana to have any chance. The way I see things they will almost have to be perfect against at least the bottom four teams, or at least not suffer any losses or too many draws. They will need some help from Awal KB also to try and knock Bettia off and hope Tynelia can get the sweep over Awal KB and not lose any points to Bettia in their head to head matches whether it’s a pair of draws or a win and a loss. Anything they get from Starblaydia though I have to say will be gravy despite what Coach Billington has said.”

“Still this will be an exciting Cup in any case Mike as the Tynelian Soccer Federation announced that for the first time some of Tynelia’s home matches will have new venues. In honor of the 30th ever Cup some matches will be played somewhere other than the 50,000 person capacity Presidential Coliseum in Tyr which has hosted all of Tynelia’s past World Cup matches. In the resort city of Varrik, the newly christened ‘Sun Stadia’ which seats 35,000will be home of Tynelia’s matches against Wrecker on MD3 and then later on against Awal KB in Tynelia’s final home match of the Cup on MD13. The curling capital of Damak in northern Tynelia has also opened a new stadium affectionately called the ‘Ice Bowl’ as the field is frozen over for most of the fall and winter but is in fine condition here in the summer. Some 25,000 fans in that part of the country shall get to see the national squad take on Spindomia. The remaining matches including the big tests against Starblaydia and Bettia back to back will be held in the PC.”

“This is a true sign of how soccer is catching on here in Tynelia despite a dropof after the last poor World Cup showing Tynelia hopes to put behind them. But now Dana care to make any predictions on how things will turn out for the team?”

“On paper anything other than Starblaydia and Bettia advancing will be a major shock. Once again the early schedule favors Tynelia but in the past they have never seemed to take full advantage of it always managing to stumble in one of them. With two home matches against the bottom two seeds and a decent but certainly winnable road match with Nikea to start I don’t see any reason why the team can’t get at least 7 points here even though the team tends to start out slowly. The big test will be the next three matches where they must go on the road to play the other three teams in the top four. While this means it will get easier playing them all at home in the second half the team must get at least one win here to prove they should be taken serious and try to steal a point from one the top two if at all possible. But all in all I think as in past Cups, the team will most likely end up where they are seeded once again. Third in the group and probably a half dozen points behind the top two.”

“Yes most experts agree with you Dana, amazing how the addition of one team can change everything. Before Starblaydia was added to the mix people felt hopeful that Tynelia could slip past a second seeded team in the 25-35 range and qualify for the first time. But now with Starblaydia added hopes are certainly much dimmer. Hopefully Starblaydia can sweep Bettia and we can steal a couple points to give us a shot. But we’ll find out soon enough I’m certain.

"And that’s all the time we have for today so soccer fans everywhere, dig out your Tynelian Towels and get ready to wave them far and wide at our home matches and even to the homes of these other nations in our group to cheer on your team and support them all the way to hopefully a World Cup berth. I’m Mike McPhee and this is Dana Lee for Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

MD1: Commerce Heights JSY vs. Bazalonia
MD2: Bazalonia vs. Dance 2 Revolution
MD3: Rejistania vs. Bazalonia
MD4: Bazalonia vs. Champlaign
MD5: Bazalonia vs. Geisenfried
MD6: System Karela vs. Bazalonia
MD7: Bazalonia vs. Ropa-Topia
MD8: Bazalonia vs. Commerce Heights JSY
MD9: Dance 2 Revolution vs. Bazalonia
MD10: Bazalonia vs. Rejistania
MD11: Champlaign vs. Bazalonia
MD12: Geisenfried vs. Bazalonia
MD13: Bazalonia vs. System Karela
MD14: Ropa-Topia vs. Bazalonia

World Cup 30 Preview

Rejistania, ranked 6th in the world the team, coached by the Ex-Coach of one of Bazalonia's best league teams, Drago FC. The team that had the majority of the Bazalopes best players. No one knows how Franklinton'he, as the Rejistanians would say, will react to this, whether he will use his inside knowledge against the team or not. Though we doubt that will make much of an impact as we would expect Rejistania to easily win anyway

Dance 2 Revolution, a team that the Bazalopes have faced before and has to at least win once against to knock them off the 2nd spot in the group. This is a feat that we can do. It will be tough, the Bazalopes will have to wind up for their home match against them in the 2nd matchday, however the match is at TeleBaz Stadium so the home advantage is to the Bazalopes. We could very well took place number 2 on the table.

Geseinfried, An Atlantian Oceanian nation that has done very well for itself in the World Cup, they are nipping at our heels but that will just force us to move faster. Expect this team to do well but not as well as the Bazalopes.

System Karela, one of the more bizarre religious cults that this reporter has anything to do with. System Karela a nation that has the religious belief in defense and has a theory that a 0-0 draw is the best possible result for any match. This reporter says such matches are almost always boring and dull. Expect this cult to suffer problems in it's defensive line up all thanks to Peter Hobble.

Ropa-Topia, A nation from the Baptism of Fire, we have come across these Ropa-Topians before in the olympics and we have viewed their Baptism of Fire matches. A good-natured team, but that;s about as much as can be said, made concessions to a team of intelligent mice in their group, yes, mice are in the World Cup Qualifiers. Expect an easy win for the Bazalopes

Commerce Heights JSY, A second footballing league from Commerve Heights. Utilising the aparant lack of any governmental organisation of soccer leagues JSY has managed to found a loop hole to be the first ever league to compete in the World Cup to come from the same country. Either way, this new team that appeared in the Baptism of Fire is also expected to be a walk over.

Champlaign, the only thing we have to say about this team is "Who do they think they are?" for we certainly do not know. They should not be able to put up any sort of fight whatever.

Errinundera's draw and venues:

Match day 1:
Errinundera v Benlandngdo (Milosis Coliseum, McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Milosis_Coliseum))

Match day 2: Friday 18th August
Liverpool England v Errinundera
(Note: Errinundera first played Liverpool England in the qualifying rounds of WC6)

Match day 3: Sunday 20th August
Spaamanian Plijous v Errinundera

Match day 4: Monday 21st August
Errinundera v The Lowland Clans (The Cavern, Mount Ellery (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_Cavern))

Match day 5: Wednesday 23rd August
Errinundera v Winchestia (B Triple R, Bemm River (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_B_Triple_R_.28Bemm_River_Recreation_Reserve.29))

Match day 6: Thursday 24th August
Errinundera v Hiiraan (The Amphitheatre, Big Tree Camp (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_Ampitheatre))

Match day 7: Friday 25th August
Chicanada v Errinundera (Lis Stadia, Acadia)


Match day 8: Sunday 27th August
Benlandngdo v Errinundera

Match day 9: Tuesday 29th August
Errinundera v Liverpool England (BCG, Bonang (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_B.C.G._.28Bonang_Cricket_Ground.29))

Match day 10: Wednesday 30th August
Errinundera v Spaamanian Plijous (Frosty Hollow, Rooty Break (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Frosty_Hollow))

Match day 11: Friday 1st September
The Lowland Clans v Errinundera

Match day 12: Saturday 2nd September
Winchestia v Errinundera

Match day 13: Monday 4th September
Hiiraan v Errinundera

Match day 14: Tuesday 5th September
Errinundera v Chicanada (National Downfall Stadium, First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#National_Downfall_Stadium))

Learn about Errinundera at NSwiki (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera)

Mysterious Dissappearance of Human Party

The Higgleton Post, the mouth piece of the ignorant and stupidly speciest political party in Winchestia, called the Human Party, has vanished. Sam Waterton the leader of the party and the favoured "guest writer" of the papers editor was in the building as it has seemed to 'pop' from existance.

Passenger's in an airplane going over the building saw it vanish before their eyes. No apparent reason for this dissapearance for the building or those inside it has apparantly come to surface but many people has suggested it has something to do with the outragous theft claim made by Human Party supporter and now officially confirmed member of the Winchestian national team.

There is no way our bigulation technology has anything to do with this disappearance if Taylor Tinley had infact gotten hold of some sort of technological secret it certainly was not a piece of Miceland technology and whatever technology it was the people dealing with it probably did not have any idea how whatever it worked and so they probably had no idea whate they are doing.

Neil Kabants was ready.

Ever since he got his new house in Collonie with its attaching science laboratory he had been waiting for this day. Kabants had started this experiment as a joke but soon he realized it could actually work, he could actually clone himself and be able to give himself more jobs.

Sure, Kabants already had a job as the head coach of the Bazalonian Bazalopes but he could also be the coach of the Northern Caesearea Tri Colores or of the Quakmybush Sharks or of any other team he wanted. He could even be the coach of every single team in the World Cup except Rejistania and Milchama. (The former would never let him attack while the later hates him for WC 23.) But the rest are open he could be there!

All he needed to do was press that button.

He pressed the button OF DOOM! and it was begun the machine was working like he was expecting it too and BOOM! there was a huge explosion and Kabants flew backward as he flew into a sack of books that then all fell on him, knocking him out. The machine then had another pop and a retarded man with one limp arm and two limp legs came out.

A few hours later Kabants woke up and found this guy who kinda sorta looked like him walking around retardedly. Immediately Kabants took out the shotgun and killed the man. So much for the first test he thought as he went back to working out the kinks.

Group draw day: The jungle was stretching out in all directions, SyMji's office on top of the obelisk had a wonderful view over Sike and the jungle behind it. Music came through the radio as SyMji idly checked some things on his computer. He pretends to be calm but in reality, his eyes check the clock in short intervals. Time seemed not to move at all. Suddenly the telephone rang. Within an instant and during the first ringing, SyMji took the handset. "Liside sunjet?" he just asked, totally confusing the poor telemarketing zombie on the other end of the line. As soon as he noted that this person was not Haxada, he hung up. As soon as the handset touched the socket, the phone rang again. "Liside sunjet? Visko'il!" (which group? say it!) The former striker has never shown much respect to the creatures of Karela - and he knew one of these goal-preventers would be on the other side of the line: High-priest Haxada, who represented Rejistania officially.

"ke-mji!" (fourteen) said the defensive voice.

"ae su?" (with whom?) asked SyMji.

"il'aru hetaki yi!" (you are too attacking) said the defensive voice of the karelan.

"xiu, xe'aru su? xe'ki'aru'ta mer'karela nilte il!" (yeah? I am? I will not become as defensive as you)

"Ve! jilih'veka, il'divensi hetaki!" (I like how you defend attack) he said with a grin in his normal defensiveness. "Xen'ja Sistehna Karela, Keira 2 revolutije, sikire'he'ny tikira, Rova-tovija, k~haisenverijed, Ivasalonija ve Xam-la~en" (We will play against System Karela, Dance 2 Revolution, 자본가는 스포츠 연맹을, Ropa-Topia, Geisenfried, Bazalonia and Champlaign)

"Texekii, karela'he!" (thanks, Karelan)

"Halen'ta, lehiju'ny! Jilih'veka, Sistenha Karela mi'ki'kanvali side rejistaniha!" (You're welcome, conceder! It is good that System Karela will qualify ahead of Rejistania!)

Sy Mji hangs up and looks in the NSwiki for information on the teams, but only gets errors.

From the Desk of Ug-Mt
August 17, 2006

Tragedy hits Winchestia

Az-cz would like to express it's sympathy to Winchestia over the tragic incident today. Although our nations didn't get off on the right foot we have established good relations since them and are saddened by the events. We hope the loss of life was kept to a minimum.

This incident doesn't have any effect on our delegation currently teaching Winchestians Kletpochase. We are continuing with that and moving forward in the direction of the first even Atlantian Oceania Kleptochase Championship.

From: Nick Reagan <nick.reagan@bfa.co.bd>
To: NMS Ministry of Morale
Cc: Qutari Football Association
Subject: Re: Bring it

> Time to throw down. One home-and-away series, in whatever order you so desire.
>
> Columbia will burn again.

How could we possibly resist such an offer? New Montreal MD0, Columbia MD seven-and-a-half. Be there or be square.

----
Nicholas Reagan
President
Bedistan Football Association

Az-cz Scroll
August 15, 2006
Il-Lur

Pizelkaxrovsky: Soccer Player or Psychic

Looking back at the pre Baptism of Fire quotes, we have found something very interesting. Star midfielders Pizelkaxrovsky's exact quote was, "We ought to win the group. I can make plays that no one at this level can deal with. Maybe if we had Starblaydia or Bedistan we'd be worried, but come on. Greatest Crap? We can handle them".
In hindsight it was an incredibly, almost spookily accurate prediction. Az-cz did win their group, without losing a match none the less, and proceeded to win the Baptism of Fire. Furthermore Pizelkaxrovsky was deadly accurate in that he could make plays no one could match, as he was by the far the best player in the tournament.
The really creepy part though is that he accurately forecasted matches against both Starblaydia and Bedistan, the number one and two teams in the world. As it turns out Az-cz will be playing both of these teams. Starblaydia will host Az-cz in their second friendly and Bedistan is the power from the Az-cz group.
Will have to keep our eye on the things Pizelkaxrovsky says from hear on out. Maybe he'll be able to guarantee us a trip to the finals with some of his voodoo words and magic football. One can hope anyways.

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

Bedistan finally announces WCXXX manager

GRACEVILLE -- For the first time in its 100-year history, the Bedistan Football Association has chosen a woman to lead its World Cup team to glory. Vanessa Carpenter, part of the team that won the World Cup for Bedistan for the first time, has graciously accepted the task.

"Now I know what some of you are thinking," said BFA president Nick Reagan after his selection was announced. "You're thinking that we chose a woman this time because of it being World Cup triple-X. This is not true. For one thing, she's obviously got the experience needed to do a fine job managing the team. And for another, she turns 67 next month." This last sentence was followed by Carpenter charging onstage and pummeling Reagan with her fists. "Don't you know you're not supposed to go around telling everyone how old a woman is?"

Meanwhile, the BFA has also announced that the Lions will be playing a home-and-away friendly series against New Montreal States, quite possibly Bedistan's oldest rivals excluding Commerce Heights. Bedistan's full World Cup xXx schedule is as follows:


MD00 @ New Montreal States
MD01 v Alasdair I Frosticus Fillmore National Stadium, Sonoma City
MD02 @ Nebuleux
MD03 @ Anathematic Republics
MD04 @ The Candrian Empire
MD05 v San Haven Stephen Rogers Memorial Stadium, Yuba
MD06 v Nedalia South Coast Arena, Hendersonburg
MD07 @ Az-cz
07.5 v New Montreal States Holmes Stadium, Columbia
MD08 @ Alasdair I Frosticus
MD09 v Nebuleux Akoki Stadium, New Lusambo
MD10 v Anathematic Republics Sokojiwa National Stadium, Sokojiwa Dosi
MD11 v The Candrian Empire Metrewalkstadion, Neue Metrewalk
MD12 @ San Haven
MD13 @ Nedalia
MD14 v Az-cz Field of Flowers, Floral

The following is an excerpt from a transcript of SportWatch, a talk show program.

Host: Welcome to SportWatch! Our guest today is one special one! A former volleyball coach, she strives for perfect discipline every time she steps onto the field. This attitude paid off last time that she did so, as she lead her national women's team to a title over the Yaforite team. Now, she's decided to come to Yafor 2 and coach the men in their attempt to finally qualify after years upon years of trying. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Lisa Simpson! <audience applause, with Ms. Simpson's "thank you, I'm delighted to be here" response drowned out> Well, Lisa, what do you think of our chances?

Lisa Simpson: Well, I think they're very good. <stopped as audience begin applauding, then restarts as they finish> Yes, I think that our chances are very good. I like our team, our group seems to be an okay one...you know, I think we're going to do well. Oh, and one other thing. <last words as if she has forgotten what she was going to say> With fans like the ones wer have in Yafor 2, I really think that we are going to do well! <broadly smiles, as thunderous applause comes from all sides>

Host: Well, there's no lack of confidence there! <laughter and cheers from the audience> What do you think of the group we are in, qualifing Group 7? Is it lucky number nine or unlucky as ever for the Yaforites? <gestures to giant screen overhead as graphics detailing the teams in Group 9 begin to appear> Ranked at 16 in the world, Arridia has been on a rise ever since they returned to international football. Spruitland, from a country with an agricultural name, are veterans in going to the finals. Rordia, at times, seemed as unlucky as the Yaforites as they failed to qualify again and again, despite no lack of trying. At 86,Virginia Nova may be a team to reckon with, but Nouvelle Angleterre, Lylybium, and Los Mexico are newcomers to the stage of international football.

Lisa Simpson: Nice way of introducing the teams, by the way. <laughter from the crowd> I don't know. Obvious Arridia will be tough - they always were, even when they weren't this good. They have vague French connections (as does Nouvelle Angleterre) and we have faired fairly well against these teams. Sptruitland fields a pretty geriatric team - very, very old, and Rordia...well they're usually around, but we haven't heard much from them. As to the others...Virginia Nova can put up a fight, and so can the rest, but I think we can come away with a few points there.

Host: There have been other questions about our team. For one, with the retirement of the Malar brothers, who is this new striker to partner Iktam Velastros? And who is your coaching team? As far as we have learned, your assistant is Irora Neuvelt, the Women's coach! And your fitness trainer is Gerod Flamer, the former captain who lead us to the Cup of Harmony! What's up with that?

Lisa Simpson: I knew that you would ask that. First things first - you want to know about Idurv, right? Idurv is a great young talent. I don't know why he wasn't selected for the U21, but now he's too old and I took him. He's a lot of fun to watch, you'll see. Him and Iktam work very well togetherm I have noticed. And Irora? Well she has got the Women to the finals (of the World Cup Finals!) twice in a row! So, I hope she has magic touch here as well. And Gerod? Well, he's strong, fit, and demading. He's all you might want in a fitness trainer.

Host: Well, we're out of time. This was your first interview, right? <Lisa Simpson apologetically nods a "yes"> Great job! Lisa Simpson, everybody! MAy we qualify at last! <applause resonates from every direction>

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Jualiar Vumaou Named as Turori Head Coach!

After weeks of speculation that he would be named the head coach of the QuakMyBush World Cup XXX squad, Turori Legend Jualiar Vumaou has made an abrubpt U-turn and taken up the same position with his homeland, The Island Emirate of Turori.

"It just didn't feel right" Vumaou explained to a correspondant from the Turori National, a little feed off of the Vilitan National Media Company of Lopinka, Vilita. "You know, it always seems like you want to get your feet wet, but all you're doing there is acting like a duck. If I'm going to be a duck, I may as well do it with a bunch of ducks that quack in the same pitch as me, no!"

While Vumaou's enthusiasm for the job had obviously gotten the best of him at the time of the interview, many Turorian's are sharing that enthusiasm as one of their greatest has come back to join the squad he once made so successful through the years. An integral part of the formation and development of the early Turorian squads, which made their debut on the international stage as the first champions in the modern age of the Baptism Of Fire Cup, prior to World Cup 15.

The Eels of Turori qualified for their first World Cup Final in World Cup 17, and despite not qualifying for the second round that cup, it would be the start of a meteoric rise to the top of the rankings for the little Island Emirate in the Vilitan Cove. Advancing over heavily favored Liverpool England in the second round of World Cup 18 saw the magic Eels through to the Quarter Finals of the World Cup, a level they would reach five times without ever progressing farther.

But perhaps it was World Cup 23 where the Eels had their best chance of securing their place in the history books. After a strong showing, the Eels marched in against Sarzonia confident and once again in the Quarter Finals. It was a heartbreaking defeat on penalty kicks that sent Sarzonia through and en route to an incredibly simple 4-0 win in the World Cup Final, a match so desperately close for the Island Emirate.

The downfall for the Vilitan Cove nations began long before World Cup 26, with both nations spiraling down from their posts in the top 5 in the rankings, Turori failed to qualify for the finals for the first time in 10 World Cups. Despite an impressive performance of their own as Cup of Harmony Champions, the Eels never regained their form, and insult was added to injury when the Island Emirate was unable to send a team to the previous world cup.

But, this is all in the past now, as Vumaou and his yet to be named team prepare for a hopeful return to the finals in World Cup XXX.

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Tom Hall sighed. His body was getting old, and he was a tired man. All his years involved with playing and coaching football, it was the game he had loved, and he felt it was time to leave it soon. Maybe spend the rest of his days sipping margaritas on an abandoned Turori beach somewhere. But no yet, he declared to himself in his head, he had a tournament to oversee first. Despite the line up for qualifying announced ages ago, some changes had happened that needed to be overseed. He hoped Casey Dellet, man who had taken the Stars-B to the quarter-finals of the AOCAF, even destroying Oliverry 5-0. That was quite the accomplishment. His assistant entered the room and told him that it was time. He got up and his back creaked. He cursed under his breath, stretched ou to his full height again, and walked onto the stage.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen of the press, now that the draw has been announced, I'd like to make a few announcements. First, the Football Federation of the Lowland Clans is requesting that a foreign nation host our qualifiers for World Cup 30. The increasing chaos in the Legal Republic as well as the Quirrith plague, we feel that it is not safe for the teams to play here in the Allied States.

"Secondly, the roster announced several weeks ago is under reconsideration by Manager Dellet, Davies and myself. The new roster will be announced after the first matchday.

"Thirdly and finally, it is with great sorrow that I am announcing my retirement from professional football, and as head of the Football Federation of the Lowland Clans. There is currently no plan for a replacement, and I will stay on until they find a replacement or until the end of World Cup 30, which ever comes first. I must thank all the managers and players who have been willing to don the blue and white for their nation, and I hope we over come today, so that tomorrow we may ascend to the greatness of the footballing world."

From the desk of Noz-Tf

To Lowland Clans

Az-cz is willing to allow The Lowland Clans play their matches in Az-cz. Although we can not offer the huge stadiums some other nations can, we can offer a safe environment reasonably near to Lowland Clans that fans could easily visit. As you will find Gnomes are an incredibly polite and friendly bunch and would be thrilled to do the honor of hosting your home matches as well as our own. We would have two conditions however if you choose to accept. One is that you would have to arrange a friendly to be played in Az-cz as part of the anti-speciesism events and allow anti-speciesism signs and information to be displayed and promoted at all of these matches. We feel that it is a more than reasonable offer. We look forward to a response and will hold no ill will towards The Lowland Clans should they look elsewhere for hosting duties.

Time to Rock and Roll Yet Again

Bedistan tops list of incoming

Bedistan (2) - Our oldest rivalry, dating from the time when a pack of unranked high school students walked into the national stadium of the world-ranked #5 Lions and triggered some riots. Sure, it's been eighty years, and everyone who played in that match (at least over here) is kinda dead, but the rivalry burns on. And, quite possibly, a few cities might as well.

Magnus Valerius (38) - Along with ourselves, the Archregimancy, and Alisdair I Frosticus, form the "Orthodox block" of NS footie. We look forward to playing them for the first time.

Green wombat (80) - Wombats are cuddly! And they don't like Qazox much. Aside from that, we know bupkis.

Horgate (-) - Whoregate? Someone's been taking the World Cup XXX thing a bit too far. Either that, or this is a rehash of the Clinton presidency.

New Montreal States (7) - Woot.

Carvalo (177) - ¿Que tal?

Lexington SC (178) - Qui?

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (22) - Hey, we haven't seen them since - uh, last Cup! And we were in the exact same situation then, as well! Except something eerily similar to what happened last time.

Harlesburg (77) - And the third team we've played before, this time in the 16th Cup of Harmony, way, way back when. They disappointed then, and they've fallen quite a bit in the world since then.

[[Stadia to be used against each team have been posted along with the roster]]

Montegrande Revolutionary, Sports Section

The party is about to start and the jaguars dream with a good performance in their group

The montegrandean jaguars are practicing with the hope of doing a good first presentation in the WC30, knowing that their lack of international experience and the fact of being an unranked squad is a great the team shall carry with dignity and pride.

Even when the expectatives of the people aren´t as high as they were for the first international championship in which Montegrande had ever participated, the WWC3, in which the team was eliminated in the first phase, the team is urged to qualify, in a country in which the sports budget is high and the passion about football, the national sport of our nation, as well as in most of South America, and the coach and the players are conscious of the burden that falls over their backs.

Even when press conferences were forbidden the two weeks before the first match, as a measure taken by the football asociation ton relieve the pressure under the players and the coach, pressure that was reveiled to be excessive in the last women world cup, being known cases of young players of the team that had nerve attacks because of the furious reaction of a public that had too high expectatives for a first international tournament, as said by the vicepresident of the Asociation, Rosario Domínguez, while answering the crowds journalists, by a measure that they believe violates freedom of press.

However, and even being absolutely private, the practices are known to believe in number andf intensity, and the absolute secret in which the team trains could be not only relieving for the players, but also a kind of weapon for the presentation of a team, that being unranked, should have a tactic advantage for ranked teams, which potence and style are known.

Here is the draw of the group 6, in which Montegrande is training with the objective of qualifying:

Montegrande (-)
Nikea (116)
Spindomia (131)
AwalKB (73)
Bettia (18)
Tynelia (50)
Starblaydia (1)
Wrecker (207)

even when in the group are Starblaydia, ranked first, Bettia (ranked 18) and Tynelia (ranked 50), three abvioulsy powerful teams, the rest of the groups seem fair, if not for qualyfying, at least for doing a good first participation.

The Squad from Quakmybush was hard at work. Player/Coach Greg Hughes called them in. "Team huddle." he yelled.

'What is it coach?" Jon Fields asked.

"Another friendly, this time against Casari after our game in Tocapa."

"We can proove we were'nt a fluke if we can stay close to Casari." Fields said.

"Yep, that's why I booked it. Now hit the showers, and DONT DROP THE SOAP." Hughes replied.

With that, the team chuckled and went in.

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Vumaou enters Legends Shootout

The media was present and expecting newly appointed Turori head coach Jualiar Vumaou to announce his squad for the upcoming World Cup XXX qualifying campaign. However, instead of announcing the squad for the senior eels, Vumaou used the press conference to announce his own personal participation in the World Cup legends shootut. It was widely expected that that the legendary Mauritus Banda, or perhaps Turorian sharpshooter Akamoari Liano would be sent as the Turorian representatives of the competition, however, with his new role as National Team head coach, Vumaou assumed the high ranking position within the Turorian National Structure, and thus was in line to approve any final decisions.

In lieu of allowing his former teammates a rightful shot at such a prestigious event, Vumaou has instead filled his own name on the entry blank. Although always in the shadow of Banda and Liano, Vumaou certainly was no stranger when positioned in striking range, and has vowed to uphold the honor of his country at the competition.

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THE MONASTIC TIMES

MFA REFUSES TO RELEASE PRE-TOURNAMENT GROUP PREVIEW
Group Opponents Denounced as 'Communists, Vegetables, Upstarts and Maggots'

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association today refused to release a pre-tournament group preview for World Cup 30, on the grounds that the vast majority were 'dull, predictable, and unimaginative'.

"Just how many times do we need to read that someone doesn't know anything about an unranked team anyway?" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "If we didn't know anything about an obscure 2nd century heretical definition of the co-substantiality of the Holy Trinity, do you think we'd sit there whining about it? No.... we denounce it as heretical anyway."

New Archregimancy captain Fr. Constantine the First-Called meanwhile courted controversy by referring to several of the team's group opponents as 'Communists, vegetables, upstarts and maggots'. Criticism of Fr. Constantine's un-Christian charity was only narrowly averted when it was pointed out that Hockey Canada were incontrovertibly communists, that respected old-timers Giant Zucchini's best known player was believed to have been an anthropomorphic vegetable, that Quakmybush were almost universally regarded as upstarts, and that Ten Thousand Maggots' name rather spoke for itself.

Group 10
Hockey Canada (10)
Palixia (-)
Quakmybush (46)
Giant Zucchini (54)
The Archregimancy (25)
Demot (142)
Bostopia (126)
Ten Thousand Maggots (204)


In other news, the Monastic Football Association announced that the international team's all-time leading scorer, Fr. Silouan of the Seventy Caves, would come out of self-imposed retirement to enter the legends penalty competition.

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

SQUAD LOOKS FORWARD TO SHARING THE LOVE
Neutral Observers Predict Campaign of Pointless Futility

By Constantine Ducaso
Archregimancy Correspondent


Controversy continues to surround the Holy Empire's squad for the next World Cup, with several observers pointing out that the Holy Empire Football Association may have misunderstood the nature of World Cup xXx when it decided to enter a team of porn stars and strippers. The same observers were predicting a qualification campaign of pointless futility as a result of this misunderstanding.

"Well we don't care," said wingers and twin sisters Busty and Chesty LaRue "We hear those lads from Bedistan are really well hun.... Sorry.... We mean, well hunky, really!" The team's central defender, who works under the professional stage name Thor the Mighty Hammer God, offered to show all opposing players the glory of Mjolnir, while free-scoring forward Francesca 'Hot' Totty stated simply that the team was looking forward to sharing the love.

Further controversy surrounds the Basileus' insistance that the squad play all its home matches in the Archregimancy, though HEFA officials noted they had little to add to a story on that issue that had already been printed in local newspaper The Monastic Times. The squad was nonetheless said to be looking forward to gaining experience against the monks in the planned MD0 friendly.

A neutral venue is still being sought, however, for the Holy Empire v. Anathematic Republics home match, with Satan thought to be showing more than his usual level of interest in his squad's opponents and the Archregimancy point blank refusing to permit the minions of the Enemy to enter the Dreamed Realm.

In other news, HEFA announced that apparently ageless World Cup Hall of Fame member Juan Tzimisces would enter the Legends Penalty Competition so that World Cup 30 could have a direct living link to World Cup 1.


Group 13
San Haven (-)
Anathematic Republics (43)
The Candrian Empire (200)
Bedistan (2)
Nebuleux (75)
Nedalia (27)
Az-cz (125)
Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus] (139)

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MD1: DFC vs. United Island Empires (76) Thursday 17th August (Schia)
MD2: DFC vs. Jeruselem (13) Friday 18th August (Qutar)
MD3: DFC vs. Marion Oaks 2 (203) Sunday 20th August (Schia)
MD4: DFC vs. The Greatest Crap (213) Monday 21st August (Qutar)
MD5: DFC vs. Marceau State (85) Wednesday 23rd August (Schia)
MD6: DFC vs. Wentland (35) Thursday 24th August (Qutar)
MD7: DFC vs. Cataduanes (31) Friday 25th August (Qutar)
MD8: DFC vs. United Island Empires (76) Sunday 27th August (Qutar)
MD9: DFC vs. Jeruselem (13) Tuesday 29th August (Schia)
MD10: DFC vs. Marion Oaks 2 (203) Wednesday 30th August (Qutar)
MD11: DFC vs. The Greatest Crap (213) Friday 1st September (Schia)
MD12: DFC vs. Marceau State (85) Saturday 2nd September (Qutar)
MD13: DFC vs. Wentland (35) Monday 4th September (Schia)
MD14: DFC vs. Cataduanes (31) Tuesday 5th Spetember (Schia)

Group 8
United Island Empires (76)
Cataduanes (31)
Wentland (35)
Jeruselem (13)
Delesa (151)
The Greatest Crap (213)
Marion Oaks 2 (203)
Marceau State (85)

St.Myhre - Today team Delesa was out on the pitch outside the national soccer centre, running drills from 12 till 9pm. The coach says the team is pumped, and he says hes glad just tp be here. Meanwhile we also talked with captain Micheal McShane.
Yeah, like the coach says we are happy to be here, but we arn't so glad that we forget this is begining of a long round. We have some strong teams we have to play against. But coming out of the Baptism of Fire in a fairly high spot, lets the team know we arn't goingto get pushed around too much here. And we wont shit if the other teams dont. Plain and simple. We know how to play fair, but sometimes other teams just seem to get the urge to...i guess assult other players, but that happenes everywhere. So yeah i have high expectations for our team. Um, he have some new players that have just played international soccer starting with the BoF. But umpayers like me and Fernando and James all have atleast 24 caps. So we think we can teach te rookies a little, but we cant carry them, so they'll have to learn to walk on their own, and lets hope thats quick. I mean Conor Kelly a sub came in for Fernando in one of the BoF games and scored our only goal for one game. And tat was the first time out on a international field. We need more players lie him. no wait i like the players we have, great guys, but they need to step up to the plate like Conor. Then the other teams would have to look out.*Chuckles* Yeah, and well im not happy with being in the 151 spot, but i guess its better then 152.
Yes the team is pumped and ready for action, starting in two days against United Island Empires, ranked 76th in the world. We are all wishing good luck to our boys and the United Island Empires players.

In the mean time, Delesa captain, #4 Micheal McShane has been practiceing to take part in the Legends Penalty Kicks Competition.

Thats all, this is Dan Richard of Delesa Edge Football News, saying good night and see you thursday!

The Lylybasca Capital News Daily

The group draw has been announced and Lylybium is declared a member team of Group 9. This means that Lylybium will be facing off against Spruitland, Rordia, Los Mexico, Nouvelle Angleterre, Yafor 2 and Ariddia.

In this group it will be very hard for the Red Lions to prove their worth, but we still hold the belief that Lylybium will show herself to the world in a spectacular World Cup opening. While Lylybium is ranked 207th, Ariddia is ranked 16th and is the highest ranked team in our group.

The match order seems promising however as the Red Lions face off first against Rordia then Los Mexico, Yafor 2, Ariddia, Spruitland then Nouvelle Angleterre.
Match 1- Vs. Rordia, Thursday, 17th of August @Shia
Match 2- Vs. Los Mexico, Friday, 18th of August @Qutar
Match 3- Vs. Yafor 2, Saturday, 20th of August @Shia
Match 4- Vs. Arriddia, Sunday, 21st of August @Qutar
Match 5- Vs. Spruitland, Monday, 22nd of August @Shia
Match 6- Vs. Nouvelle Angeleterre, Tuesday, 23rd of August @Qutar
The matches will then repeat and the group leader determined.

Match 5- Vs. Spruitland, Monday, 22nd of August @Shia

OOC:Actually You will be playing us on Week 5(we are the team withe th Url all messed up;) )

SportsnetRV Soccer Central

Moose Set For World Cup XXX(aka the Cup of Sin) Qualifing

Rorysville is set to play in a very tough group for the Cup of Sin and after the Last World Cup they really need to show up and have a strong showing hopefully the changes made will pay off The Group Draw for Rorysville is Group 5 drawn up with 6th ranked Krytenia,29th Ranked Spaam,37th Vuam and Isma,83rd Ranked Risa-Aramour,158th Tocapa,191rst Peturbed Lepoard,and unranked Eseck. This Group will be a fun one to watch for sure and the 70th Ranked Rorysville is definitly stronger than before.The Schedule will Consist of 2 Against each team in the group plus a pair of Friendlies against Marceau.
Rorysville Scehdule

MD0: @Marceau(Friendly) Wednesday 16th August (Schia)
MD1: @Spaam Thursday 17th August (Schia)
MD2: Tocapa Friday 18th August (Qutar)
MD3: @Peturbed Lepoard Sunday 20th August (Schia)
MD4: @Vuam and Isma Monday 21st August (Qutar)
MD5: Risa-Aramour Wednesday 23rd August (Schia)
MD6: @Krytenia Thursday 24th August (Qutar)
MD7: Eseck Friday 25th August (Qutar)
MD7.5: Marceau(Freindly) Saturday 26th August (Qutar)
MD8: Spaam Sunday 27th August (Qutar)
MD9: @Tocapa Tuesday 29th August (Schia)
MD10: Peturbed Lepoard Wednesday 30th August (Qutar)
MD11: Vuam and Isma Friday 1st September (Schia)
MD12: @Risa-Armour Saturday 2nd September (Qutar)
MD13: Krytenia Monday 4th September (Schia)
MD14: @Eseck Tuesday 5th Spetember (Schia)


As for Rorysville's Legandary Player -Mike Jsaper he will likely be in partcipation of the Legends Penalty Kicks Competition

The Eseck National Squad has announced to the press that they want to have two pre-qualifier friendlies and one in between the first half and second half of the qualifiers they're still looking to confirm matches
well rock with you on
Looking for other nation on MD 7.5 still!

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The hangover ends as everyone notices that it's time to play again
Most try to fit in naps before first match

Once again, it's time for Hill to prepare a team for the World Cup. Although this time, we're a tad better set up. Winners of the World-

---

The World Cup was a tad dull. Boring. Overdone. At least Jay Norris thought so.

He had an extensive collection of Programs. He had the "Six Cups to Glory" Championship DVD, he had the brand-spanking new kits, all three of them, and when he got them, joyously stared at the star above the shield for a good 10 minutes.

But really, what's the point? It was just twenty-two guys running around on a field for an hour and a half. Maybe only six minutes were exciting. Otherwise, you came home hoarse and tired from standing in the terraces all day, pushing though the crush around the doors to get in and out.

Notably, Jay had yet to realize the glory that is drinking at said game, but he was a tad underage, after all. Which is what makes the story just that tad more interesting, because if he could drink, he'd rarely be consious for any of the important bits. But I digress.

Jay was disheartened with the World Cup, which was a very, very sad development.

A frantic knock on the door, however, was enough to knock Jay out of his pointless dissassotiative state.

A frantic Robert Kay was standing at the front door, bouncing from foot to foot, holding the discovery of the century in his hand.

Rob shoved past Jay and looked around. "Damnit, JJ, where the hell do you keep your old consoles?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I found this in the back of the rental place, stuck in some boxes. It's for the old 8-bit, you have one of those, don't you?"

"Yeah, I think it's in the closet."

"We have to dig it out."

"Why?"

"JJ, you don't understand. We HAVE to. This could be the most important discovery in the history of mankind."

Rob had a bit of a flair for exaggeration.

Slam Sports Soccer Central

Fluer de Lys Redaing for World Cup XXX(the Cup of Sin)

Marceau is gearing up for it's second World Cup after some moderate success in WC29 Marceau is looking to continue on the path to glory.With this isntallment Marceau Drew Group 8 consisting of 13th Ranked Jeruselem,31rst ranked Cataduanes,35th Ranked Wentland,76th United Island Empires,151rst Ranked Delesa,203rd Ranked Marion Oaks2,and 213th Ranked The Greatest Crap. 85th Ranked Marceau will be in a tough spot with some great competition. In addition to the 14 Qualifing Matches Marceau will open up the Mooseledge Systems Challenge Cup for Bragging rights in the Country of Rorysville the Tourny will consit of 5 games between the 2 with two here and 3 others in October this tournament will put either Marceau or Rorysville as the best n the Country.

Marceau's Cup of Sin Schedule
MD0: Rorysville Wednesday 16th August (Schia)
MD1: Jeruselem Thursday 17th August (Schia)
MD2: Wentland Friday 18th August (Qutar)
MD3: The Greatest Crap Sunday 20th August (Schia)
MD4: Marion Oaks2 Monday 21st August (Qutar)
MD5: Delesa Wednesday 23rd August (Schia)
MD6: Cataduanes Thursday 24th August (Qutar)
MD7: United Island Empires Friday 25th August (Qutar)
MD7.5: Rorysville Saturday 26th August (Qutar)
MD8: Jeruselem Sunday 27th August (Qutar)
MD9: Wentland Tuesday 29th August (Schia)
MD10: The Greatest Crap Wednesday 30th August (Qutar)
MD11: Marion Oaks2 Friday 1st September (Schia)
MD12: Delesa Saturday 2nd September (Qutar)
MD13: Cataduanes Monday 4th September (Schia)
MD14: United Island Empires Tuesday 5th Spetember (Schia)

well rock with you on
Looking for other nation on MD 7.5 still!

we play you

QSPN FOOTBALL TONIGHT
W/ New Host Tim Brady

Tim Brady: Welcome back to QSPN FOOTBALL TONIGHT. Earlier today Tynelia repectfully declined Qazox' invite for a friendly. So no warm-up match for Qazox.

I'm now joined by two of the best players Qazox has ever had: Kylie Rena, Head Coach of the Women's team who will break down the odd numbered groups and John Frorr, former Nationl team keeper who'll do the even numbered. Welcome to the show. Kylie in Group 1 who do you see advancing and the dark horse?

Rena: Well Liverpool England is always in the cup so there's one spot and as for the other I think TLC will edge out Chicanada for the other spot. The dark horse of the group will be Spaamanian Plijous who always play tough.

Frorr: In Group 2, Both Cuation and Milchama will sneak past Oliverry with Lisburn Mateys right on their heels.

Brady: A bit of a out-on-a-limb pick there John, but on to Group 3, Kylie?

Rena: Defending champions Casari should cruise easily into the Cup, with Haraki beating out McPsychovillefor the 2nd spot. Watch out for Iansisle as they are a team that with a bit of luck could be in the Cup.

Brady: John, who do you like to advance out of Group 4?

Frorr: This is one of the more interesting groups. Squornshelous is the class of the group, but as for 2nd place, any one of these three teams could make it: Kericia, Becquerelia, or the dark horse and a former champ, Vilita.

Rena: In Group 5, Krytenia is not as sure of a lock as everyone seems to think they are. Spaam and a vastly improved Vuam and Isma will make things tough and don't count out Rorysville.

Brady: John, you get the next two groups as we are saving Group 7 for last.

Frorr: Of Groups 6 & 8 the only sure-fire locks are: Starblaydia, Bettia, and Jeruselem. The battles for 2nd in group 8 will be between Cataduanes and Wentland.. two teams that have edged us out in the past for World Cup berths. The only true dark horse in either group is Tynelia, if they can actually score some goals.

Rena: In Group 9, any of these four teams could qualify as this is the most wide open group: Spruitland, Ariddia, Yafor 2 or Rordia and don;t count out Virginia Nova either.

Brady: Most of Qazox wishes the Black Oxen were in that group. As for Group 10, what do you think John?

Frorr: Hockey Canada and The Archregimancy are the favorites, but Don't count out last World Cup's major surprise, Quakmybush, they could qualify again.

Rena: I think that in Group 11 Fmjphoenix and Total n Utter Insanity will qualify, but Dorian and Sonya and One Red Dot will take them to the last day of qualifing to do so.

Frorr: In Group 12, the smart money is on New Montreal States and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega to advance again, but watch out for Magnus Valerius, they could sneak in the back door. And Green wombat will finish dead last!!!

(they all laugh at the last sentence)

Brady: Ok almost done now, Kylie, in Group 13 there's Bedistan and will anybody else qualify?

Rena: of Course, but not who you think it is. Az-cz, who looks to be one of the strongest teams ever coming out of a Baptism of Fire, will pull a Quak and qualify over Anathematic Republics and a slumping Nedalia.

Frorr: In Group 14, Rejistania will advance with ease, but Dance 2 Revolution will be edged out by Bazalonia, with Geisenfried right there as well.

Brady: In Group 15, there seems to be no clear-cut favorite right?

Rena: Wrong, Sarzonia will take the group, with four teams battling for the last spot. Turori, Elves Security Forces, Kaze Progressa and Northern Caesarea will fight for the last qualifing berth with Turori making it.

Brady: and now GROUP 7, the group Qazox is in. John, your predictionsas to how the group will look:

JOHN FRORR'S GROUP 7 PICKS
1st- Tadjikistan
2nd- Qazox
3rd- Commerce Heights
4th- The Mice of Miceland
5th- Swilatia
6th- Raging Penguins
7th- Toranat
8th- The Doja

Brady: interesting, the Mice in 4th place. and now for Kylie Rena's picks:

KYLIE RENA'S GROUP 7 PICKS
1st- Tadjikistan
2nd- Commerce Heights
3rd- Qazox
4th- Swilatia
5th- Raging Penguins
6th- The Mice of Miceland
7th- Toranat
8th- The Doja

Rena: As much as it pains me to say it, Qazox will once again finish 1 point short.

Brady: Ok that's all for tonight. Join us on Thursday, for Live coverage of the QAZOX vs THE MICE OF MICELAND match from Qazian Memorial Stadium.

"Porn stars?"

"Yep."

"And we get to play them?"

"Yeah."

"Are they coming here?"

"Nope, they're looking for a neutral venue right now."

"They don't realize they're going to end up here anyway?"

"Guess not."

"Alright, Morseley, book a flight for some nation where they're going to be playing. Any nation will do, as long as they're there when I'm there."

"Alright. Anything else?"

"Yeah, make sure I pack some birth control, the last time I took one of these little trips without it the results were less than encouraging."

"I still think Karl Rove being born nine months later was a fluke."

"Whatever, just do it."

"Yeah, sure. Do I get to tag along?"

"Course, it's no fun unless I've got someone to bitch at come morning time."

"Alright, I'll get on it."

NCFL, following the recommendations of the national team head coach, Pepu Hernández, will send Dinamo Sanjuan offensive midfielder Pablo de la Rosa to the Penalty Shootout contest to be held in Schiavonia.

De la Rosa is already a legend in Northern Caesarean football. He is the player with the record of penalties and freekicks scored in the history of the NCFL, with 57 goals scored. This season, he is the second striker of his team, with 7 goals in 13 matches.

The Islanders are drawn into group 8 were they face old rivals, Wentland, who knocked out Cataduanes in the Cup of Harmony after WC27, The 'swifts' as Wentland are known will be the major fixture for the Islanders, last time these teams met a brawled insued at full time so it should be interesting to see the sparks fly again.
Jerusalem are firm favourites to top the group and will be a difficult team to face. It is believed that the Islanders have faced the United Island Empires before in WC26 but with the official records lost for some time it may well be a mystery if this is true. The remaining 4 teams are unknown to the Islanders and should not provide too stern a test if the Islanders paly well and to their potential. The islanders should be gunning to top this group howver as we have seen in past tournaments the Islanders can always slip up.

Group 8
United Island Empires (76)
Cataduanes (31)
Wentland (35)
Jeruselem (13)
Delesa (151)
The Greatest Crap (213)
Marion Oaks 2 (203)
Marceau State (85)

Mid-Qualifiying Freindly Announced
Cuation Players to come face-to-face with heroes again

The Starblaydi Football Association has announced that Starblaydia will travel to the South Pacific for a friendly match against Cuation. The match, that will take place at the half-way point of the Qualifiers, will see a Starblaydi side travel to Cuation in between their home matches against AwalKB and Spindomia.

Starblaydia last met Cuation in the third edition of the Draggonnii Inviyatii six years ago and a 5-1 thrashing was the result. Four years before that it was another 2-1 defeat for Cuation. This will give Cuation an oppurtunity to show how much they have improved to reach 39th in the World from their previous placings.

The world number one's will surely attract a lot of interest from the Cuation fans, with thousands expected to turn up to see their own team play their heroes. Quite how strong a team Khim Azanulbizarn will send to Cuation, however, is another matter, and it appears all will depend on how the Qualifying Campaign has gone over the first half.

In other friendly news, Starblaydia have welcomed the Gnomes of Az-cz to the island of Aquiliana in preparation for their Qualifying warm-up match. The Az-czzers, who won the Baptism of Fire so recently by beating Aurendia, come from the other side of Atlantian Oceania and are sure to have a fun time in the largest Stadium of the number-one team in the world.

Probable line-up for Az-cz friendly: Grimzabar, Di Bradini, Adams, Costa, Ruiz, Mahezihim, Rujano, Rage (c), Dakic, Asante, Bazrimar.

King John IV steps forward to address the people of Tessan as well as the squad about to head off to the World Cup.

“People of Tessan, it is with great pride that my son Prince Jeffery shall lead our brave champions forward against the best of the world guided by the paramount knight in all the land Sir James Kenmore. Under their guidance they shall teach the world to rue their mistake of underestimating the knightly virtues of my champions and their attendants.

“But I can also say with pride that our greatness has not gone unnoticed. For the sacred scroll which revealed those we would face is truly a testament to the valor and bravery of my champions. First we are at the top of our group where we shall no doubt finish as our greatness has been recognized at long last. So too in the search of a worthy foe it was thought that only the defending champions of Casari themselves are worthy to join us in our group. There are other nations of course, some deranged lunatics from McPsychoville who dared to thwart our great dragon hunt some time ago. They will surely pay for their foul acts against us this time. Even some foul Czars who no doubt treacherous murdered their noble royal line to gain power, they will most certainly be taught a lesson as well.

“In the end it will matter not I am certain. My brave champions shall reveal themselves in their full glory and all will bow to their skills on the field as we correct the oversight which barred us from this World Cup the last time we took to the field.”

The King then addresses the team.

“My champions, in my benevolence I have granted even the common folk a great boon by allowing them to stand side by side with the greatest knights in the land as near equals. But know that your King is generous as well. Any of you be ye knight or commoner shall be granted a reward for great valor and prowess on the field of battle. You commoners may be knighted and walk among the most august order of the land. My squires too could gain their spurs even at their young ages and perhaps even be named Baronet if their deeds truly excel. And finally my knights, the banner of nobility shall be placed upon you were you to achieve greatness on the field. But this is nothing new to my noble knights, valor on the field is always the fastest way to rank and prestige.

"Now go forth my champions and triumph. For your king and your kingdom!”

<crowd cheers wildly>

News items from the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Green Left Online Edition

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/GreenLeft.gif

RODGER RIVER SACRED TREE ABOUT TO FALL

Rodger River's (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rodger_River) regal sacred tree (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sacred_Tree), the mountain ash MONDA, is about to collapse, warns imbert, from the Sacred Tree Registry based in Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah). "When it actually falls depends on seismic activity, water table flows and, of course, the weather. What I can tell you is that it won't take much of a gust to send it earthwards. We have sensitive arboreismic equipment in place all around the tree and we can tell you at any moment what the probability of it falling is. At the moment there is no wind at all so it's just a matter of waiting."

The tree itself is in a state of senescence. In it's glory it was 130 metres tall and 15 metres in diameter at breast height. 30 years ago the top half collapsed during a christian wedding ceremony killing 43 people. (The cult withered afterwards.) The remaining tree is completely hollow inside and light streams in the top during the day. There is a small fissure at the base leading inside the trunk. Many Rodgerers claim to have been conceived within the tree.

There is a huge gathering of Rodgerers camped around the tree so they can pay their final respects as it falls. toroopo is one of the estimated 11,000 people waiting on the surrounding skywalks and branches and on the forest floor surrounding MONDA. "I had my first love affair inside that tree. It means so much to me. It's passing represents, to me, the end of my youth." Here at the Green Left Online Edition we wonder whether people had to book fornicating times in order to get in.

It is too soon to speculate on which tree the Rodgerers will select as a replacement. The tree city is too large to go walkabout in search of another and there are candidates within the city boundary. Whether or not any have the romantic facility of MONDA is a question for the Rodgerers to answer.

ERRINUNDERA TO MEET ESECK IN FRIENDLY

There is official confirmation that Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) will host a friendly football match against Eseck prior to the commencement of World Cup xXx qualifying. The game will be held at the Milosis Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Milosis_Coliseum) in McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge). McKillopians are already planning the arrival of the visiting team by riverboat. Marquees have been set up on the town wharves and the riverbanks are adorned for many kilometres upstream.

“This is the most exciting thing to happen here in years,” says local resident waltooper. “There was the half-arsed attempt to enter the World Cup in WC26 and before that… well, I wasn’t alive then. I hear there’s going to be fireworks and partying and drugs and sex…” Yeah, we know the rest.

Team captain, keok, says the team can't wait to stride upon the world stage. “We are so looking forward to this. To think that we will be representing Errinundera and wearing the same colours as the legendary gabriellen, fionar (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fionar), sandrab, antarcticad (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Antarcticad), longipesp (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Longipesp), moschatuma, and snapier is awe-inspiring. I have been given sandrab’s old number and her old locker. I was in tears. If she could see us now I wonder what the old skanger would be thinking.”

MANY HURT IN FOOTBALL MATCH MAYHEM

Current national premier league champions, McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge), played their first home game for the season at the Wulgulmerang Recreation Reserve yesterday. The result was as expected in more ways than one. Firstly, the Kingfishers won easily against Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo). Secondly, 40,000 into 2,000 just doesn’t go. The Wulgulmerang (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Wulgulmerang) authorities placed large screens all around the outside of the tiny stadium and all over the town. But it was to no avail. After the first goal was scored a surge of excited spectators caused a section of one of the stands to collapse injuring many people.

President of the Errinundera Football Association (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_Football_Association), uashe, has told the Kingfishers to find a suitable ground for their home games or else forfeit them. “People very nearly got killed yesterday. We are supposed to be a caring, compassionate nation. This is lunacy.”

“This is piracy, not lunacy,” claims nervose, president of the McKillops Bridge FC. "uashe is also president of the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) Football Club who were runners up last season. They just want to give themselves a chance of winning this season.”

(The Kingfisher’s problems began when their lease at the Milosis Coliseum expired and the owners, the Milosis FC, refused to extend it. Other major clubs have refused to allow the Kingfishers to share their grounds.)

CORPORATE TORCHERS BURNT

The Corporate Torchers (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Corporate_Torching) Inc annual general meeting ended in a blazing row last night with some delegates accusing others of arson. The dispute arose over the use of accelerants when dealing with recalcitrant corporations. One faction argued that burning should be all-natural while others maintained that the more thorough the job, the better. The debate became so heated that one fired up delegate produced a barrel of accelerant and began dousing the opposition. Things really became ignited when a box of matches was produced.

Today, Corporate Torchers Inc lodged a formal submission for a government grant to build a new hall.

From the Sikenian Daily

Karelans, Capitalizts, Keira'he'ny* and more

The Orange-Blues will meet some rather strange nations in the group 14 of the qualification for the 30th World Cup. First of all:
System Karela. normally, it'd be easy to get at least 2 points in 2 matches from them, but not now. They have crazy defender Andreas Pfeffer, who apparently sometimes even scores. He is considered to be crazy since he scored a hat trick in one match, fully aware of the consequences. The Karelans normally play a 10-0-0 or a more defensive formation.
The next opponent will be Ropa-Topia. They are new in the world cup and apparently will play a very defensive 4-3-3. The reporters of the Sikenian daily have no idea how a 4-3-3 can result in a higher defensiveness than of the Orange-Blues. Even though the world no longer has opponents to dispatch 10-1, a victory should be possible.
The next opponent is Bazalonia. Their team plays a hank~hilan 4-3-3 and is quite successful. Experts consider Bazalonia the most dangerous opponent.
Geisenfried is an impossible opponent - at least if pronunciation is concerned. Even though they officially play with only 1 striker, they have an offensive strength which will be a test for our defenders.
Champlaign has no rank and no real hope to win. We have no information on them - at all (except that they are frenchies and therefore very likely to surrender).
Commerce Heights JSY also known as Jabonganīn Sīpoçī ʼYūnmāŋʼīl is the weaker of the two capitalizt FAs. Their selection should not be any problem for the Orange-Blues, despite their defensive strength.
Dance 2 Revolution is not really a nice opponent. They have quite a high rank, release no information at all and if their name is right: are Keira'he'ny*. Hope is to get out of the matches without red cards.

*Note from the translater: Keira'he'ny can mean dancers, but in soccer means divers.

Eseck will be visting Errinundera to play a friendly in order to prepare for the upcoming world cup seemingly we have no experience EFF president, Iruka Senthei, said that "this should prove to be a really good game to give us an idea of what the qualifiers will bring."

In other World Cup news Eseck and Lexington SC having talking about a potential md 7.5 friendly and coach Xam said that "we both have agreed in part to it, we just await official confirmation."

"...I tells yer, them buggers had better keep orf moi vegetables, else they'll be bloody hell to pay!"

"Strong sentiments indeed from the locals, as these mysterious sightings continue. This is Geraint Andrews, BBC (OOC: Bettian Broadcasting Corporation) News, in Floraton, Banastra."

"Thank you Geraint. We'd like to hear what you, the viewers, think about this - are they really aroras on stilts, or is there something more sinister lurking beneath our feet, eating our veg and wrecking our football pitches? You can phone in, text or email us as usual, the details are at the bottom of your screen there. Today's main headlines again..."

DU-DUMM!

"...The government announces the construction of a massive underground road and railway network throughout the province of Banastra in a bid to preserve the natural beauty of the area..."

DU-DUMM!

"...Controversy as an un-named Apex League footballer is arrested for allegedly wearing red in public..."

DU-DUMM!

"...and the 'aroras on stilts' mystery deepens as gigantic holes appear overnight in Floraton."

DU-DU-DUMMM!

"And now over to Colin Burford on the sports desk, with some rather interesting news on the World Cup front. Colin?"

"Yes indeed. The draw for the World Cup qualifiers has been made, and Bettia have been drawn against no less than three of the teams who they faced in the World Cup 29 qualifiers, along with one from World Cup 27. The most notable of these is Starblaydia, who you may want to forget beat us 4-0 at home. They open their campaign with a trip to newcomers Montegrande, before starting a trio of home games against AwalKB in Gabalfa, Starblaydia in Butetown, and Tynelia in Lorshill. The other notable of note is Spindomia, who the Aroras face in their final home fixture. We cross over live to the Bettian training camp where our reporter is speaking with manager Stuart Abdul-Rahim"
"So Stuart, you've seen the draw for the World Cup qualifiers... what do you think?"

"Well, it certainly is an interesting draw. We all know about Starblaydia - that is gonna be one hell of a tough game, but if we can keep the momentum from our AOCAF-winning campaign going, who knows?"

"I'm glad you mentioned the AOCAF campaign, because in the final you took a gamble playing with just two defenders. It paid off once - do you think it could pay off again?"

"I don't see why not. The Bettian public have taken our ultra-attacking stance to heart, and so have the players - 24 goals in eight games is no mean feat. Now, we're stepping things up a notch - with any luck we'll see even more."

"Now, going back to this World Cup, what are your thoughts on the group as a whole?"

"Well, many people are saying that this group is already a two-horse race, but Ireckon it'll be closer than they think. Tynelia are notoriously tough to break down, and Spindomia demonstrated that they're capable of scoring a goal or two - luckily we put five past them last time out, so their three goals didn't really matter too much. And AwalKB could also be tricky. One thing we've learnt is not to take these so-called 'mid-table' teams for granted - we've done that in the past and we got our fingers (and toes) burnt. As long as we keep our focus..."

**Stuart Abdul-Rahim's mobile phone rings, and he rather impolitely answers it**

"Hello? Ah, Tom. Uh-huh? We have two thousand ready to go now? That's excellent news. Okay mate, keep me posted... we can't afford any slip-ups, not now. Bye."

**He rather sheepishly puts his phone away and looks at the camera, smiling weakly**

"That sounded rather interesting Stuart... two thousand ready to go? Care to enlighten us?"

"Um... no. Look, I really must get back to training now."

"Okay, thanks for your time."
"Hmmm, an interesting interview there. We'll be back after these messages..."



Fixtures

MD1: Montegrande vs. BETTIA
MD2: BETTIA vs. AwalKB (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD3: BETTIA vs. Starblaydia (Alice Street, Butetown)
MD4: BETTIA vs. Tynelia (The Stamping Ground, Lorshill)
MD5: Wrecker vs. BETTIA
MD6: Spindomia vs. BETTIA
MD7: BETTIA vs. Nikea (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD8: BETTIA vs. Montegrande (Shubunkin Park, Akani Sands)
MD9: AwalKB vs. BETTIA
MD10: Starblaydia vs. BETTIA
MD11: Tynelia vs. BETTIA
MD12: BETTIA vs. Wrecker (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD13: BETTIA vs. Spindomia (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD14: Nikea vs. BETTIA

From the desk of Noz-Tf
August 16, 2006

Announcements on the squad

First are the rosters for the two friendlies being played before the qualifiers begin. For the roster against Miceland Az-cz will be deploying a team of youth. The oldest player is 26 in the goalie Fr-Tld and the youngest is 15. Five players from the Az-cz squad that one the Baptism of Fire will be playing including Kn-Dg who made the all tournament team and Mario Nerazzurri who was a starting defender. Some other notable players are James Levesque, the coaches son and Kn-Dg's partner on the wings for the Yak Clerics who like Kn-Dg is only 17. And Haji-Me who at 15 is the youngest player in the -League, a burgeoning star for his club Toad Meadow Witches. This team has representatives from three teams that weren't represented at all in the Baptism of Fire; Toad Meadow Witches, Winterkill Ghosts, and Nightshade Vampires. Interestingly the team has four Yak Clerics on it, a sign of good things to come can they keep the core together. The team will be playing a 4-4-2, a formation a bit abnormal for Az-cz.

Here is the full roster for the Miceland friendly:

Starters:

FW EE-Or
Age: 16
Team: Winterkill Ghosts

FW - Uz-Gz
Age: 22
Team Golem Golems

AMF Kn-Dg
Age: 17
Team: Yak Clerics

AMF James Levesque
Age: 17
Team: Yak Clerics

CMF Kez-Lor
Age: 19
Team: Toad Meadow Witches

CMF Ip-Gp
Age: 17
Team: Darzog Mages

DF Mario Nerazzurri
Age: 23
Team: Red Dwarf Rangers

DF Kz-Kz
Age: 20
Team: Burlock Jesters

DF Haji-Me
Age: 15
Team: Toad Meadow Witches

DF Du-Tre
Age: 20
Team: Yak Clerics

GK Fr-Tld
Age: 26
Team: Vertigo Slimes

Bench:

DMF Dn-Wl
Age: 19
Team: Yang Knights

DF Yu-Wsh
Age: 20
Team: Yang Knights

MF Mn-Hb
Age: 16
Team: Winterkill Ghosts

AMF Up-Silx
Age: 17
Team: Nightshade Vampires

FW Tmr-Ln
Age: 24
Team: Yak Clerics

As for the Starblaydia match, Az-cz will be using it's regular lineup with the exception of Stanleyinho. In his place Ox-Rx will be starting and Levesque will be called up to the bench. The team will be playing the standard 3-5-2 formation.

Starblaydia agrees

Starblaydia has agreed to take part in the anti-speciesism events that are associated with the Az-cz friendlies. They have announced that they will have anti-speciesism events and that they will be starting four dwarfs in a mixed human/non-human lineup. As Az-cz has three human members in their starting lineup both nations will be a mixture of humans and non-humans. We appreciate Starblaydia's support. And as a token of our appreciation we will be bringing them all Kleptochase stuffed gnomes. For those who are interested in Kleptochase please visit http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Kleptochase. For Starblaydians or others who would like to purchase stuffed Gnomes please visit the Az-cz football association at http://www.nfa.or.a-c/

-League season delayed

With the announcment of the Starblaydian friendly to take place after the friendly with Miceland, the entire -League season has been postponed one week, to accomodate for both friendly matches.

This is the end of Matchday 0. All those with games mentioned in the first post of this thread will have their scores put in a newly created scores thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11555848#post11555848).

Tommy Barnes waited for the results to come in. No need for a friendly, he thought. Let everyone else tire themselves out.

Besides which what was the point? He did not want a meaningless victory. Or a morale-crushing defeat. No, he wanted to keep the players primed, fired up, eager to go.

However the media did not see it that way. The Times complaining that Barnes was "chicken". The Courier stating that the squad was riven in twain between the Crowhurst contingent and the remainder. The 'Spatch declaring that the squad would not qualify so remove Barnes and get someone in who can go further. The 'Graph also claiming that Barnes' tactics, whilst satisfactory for the Wentland league, had no prospect of succeeding internationally.

Keep it up, thought Barnes. Keep attacking me. You never liked Crowhurst, did you? Now you're choking on the gall. Four doubles in five years. Six titles on the trot. Your beloved Warpstone plummeting faster than a parachutist without a parachute. Everyone's sentimental favourites Orielensis bottom of the league. Just keep it up. I'll show you.

Elsewhere, Freddie Goodman was hoping his players would return from international duty unharmed. An unprecedented number of Heathens. If he wanted them to unseat Crowhurst he needed them as fit as possible. But he was also sick of fending off the media. No, no, no, he kept saying. I do NOT want to manage the Swifts. I'm a Heathen, always have been, always will be. Now leave me be, I've the Champions League to prepare for.

The Winchestia Times
Pain and Suffering on the Field, Delight Off of it For Winchestia

If one were to look strictly at the results of the recently completed World Tour by the Winchestia Cooks, you would conclude that the tour was a failure. No goals scored. A humiliating defeat at the hands of QuakMyBush. Josh Pop getting injured against System Karela. But to say that only mentions half of the story.

In the Baptism of Fire, Winchestia became known as the home of racist, gender-biased, specist morons. None of the visiting supporters had anything to do with us, and the extent of our travels was a severly messed up Gnomish city. But in Karela and QMB, both sets of supporters sang together! Even toward the end of the QMB match when things on the pitch looked their bleakest.

Since the apparent death of Sam Waterton, and the supposed end of the Human Party, things have looked up for Winchestia. Hopefully soon we will be seen as we want to be: judged on the character of our sporting ability, not on our intolerance of others.

Tel Morlin Moon-Sun-Moon-Planet-Historical-Post-Cheese-Chronicle-Tribune

Sports Section

Penalty Shootout Commense

First before we get started, we would like to apologize to our readers about our name change but the government has said that all newspaper references with Star shall be changed to Moon in reference to our conflict with Starblaydia so we are only following regulations. Now onto the article.

Both Marc J. Floren and Clyde Misterson are going to compete in the Legends Shootout for Milchama and Collonie respectively.

Floren was seen getting ready for the Nedalian season after the Norman Spartans sold him after he asked for a new challenge. He said he was glad to be in the penalty shootout but he said that there were better. "Copperlee was always the kick taker and Faren could take a mean penalty no reason why I'm doing this. They were both better, I've always sucked with penalties we need somebody else should be doing this but whatever."

Misterson, Collonie's entry, was much more optomistic. "This is going to rock! Penalties are fun, and I've scored a few goals on penalties too but that doesn't matter. I'm a not known about godmod all will be well."

We can only hope that Misterson fails.

Quakmybush Victorious, but with a price

The Quakmybush Sharks held a friendly today with the Nation of Winchestia. Every one was ready for a game of football. The action began quickly, in the 3rd minute Cory Sorley put a shot in. Then, in the 43rd minute Andrew Plett put another in to make it 2-0 Quakmybush. The second half began without Ben Miller who had not been feeling well. 42 year old Owen Targreeev game in, it was his first international appearnce. He started with a bang. In the 50th mintue he got hauled down in the box, and from the Penalty Spot, he scored making it 3-0 Quakmybush. Then, in the 78th minute, he recieved a beautiful pass from Andrew Plett and he headed it in. That made it 4-0 Quakmybush.

Then tragedy struck. While on a run Targreeev collapsed. Both Winchestian and Quakmybushian doctors were out to aid him.... he had, had a heart attack. He was rushed to Revena General Hospital where he is now in critical condition.

The game ended 4-0 Quakmybush, the players shook hand and went to their respective locker rooms. Sure, the World Cup started soon, but would Targreev be ready, or even alive.

Starblaydia Warm-Up With 3-0 Win
Anti-speciesism (sic) goes well, debut goal for Kez

In front of a larger-than expected crowd, Starblaydia lined up with a newlandmark side: four Dwarves were in the Starting Eleven. Now, avid Starblaydi watchers may be able to name four dwarves from all-time - aside from these - who could possibly have lined up with each other in the same team, but never before have this many non-humans played for Starblaydia at once.

Those other four Dwarven names, by the way, would be Khim Azanulbizarn, Hurin Menegroth, Adimurtiz Drazarim and Zhorin Tumunzahar.

In this line up we saw Durum Rage - the Captain, Balin Grimzabar - the first Dwarven national goalie, Durin Bazrimar and Keztarr Mahezihim - making his debut. With four dwarves, three women and four 'regular' guys, Starblaydia were a true multi-representation of their nation. They played like it, too.

Three unanswered goals from Starblaydia before the end of the ninety minutes saw off the Baptism of Fire Champions, technically their second ever loss after their first one was inflicted on them by the Mice of Miceland in an earlier friendly. Still, it's not bad going for a team to have played less than twenty matches and to have only lost two of them - and those two not being remotely competitive.

Pedro Rujano was the scorer of Starblaydia's first goal, profiting after Asante pressured Ml-Dni into a mistake and the ball fell to the midfielder on the edge of the area. Rujano blasted the ball just inside the post and Starblaydia were ahead with just over twenty minutes gone. Az-cz's first chance came the way of Bub-Rub but, under pressure from Herge Costa, could only fire over the bar. The first half went mostly Starblaydia's way, so much so that Keztarr Mahezihim was allowed freedom and space by Kn-Dg and Zax-Im, enough freedom and space to take the ball into the box and side-foot the ball in at the far post. Though Gn-Lg stood up well as the Dwarf came on, Kez found the presence of mind to slot the ball coolly past his Gnomish opponent: two-nil to Starblaydia before half time.

Half time saw Jacqueline Maitland and Donii arrive on the pitch in place of Lawrence Asante and Pedro Rujano. Initially the loss of a defensive-minded midfielder allowed Pizelkaxrovsky's creative juices to flow. Though one of the star players of the Baptism of Fire, Pedro Rujano is one of the most skillful holding midfielders in the world and without his presence, Pizelkaxrovsky had the time to play his passes with ease. First Ox-Rx (replacing Stanleyinho in the team from the kick-off) and then Bub-Rub benefitted from Pizelkaxrovsky's deliveries, both forcing Grimzabar into sharp saves.

Donii's talents, however, lay away from those of the man he replaced. Whereas Rujano would be cutting attack moves in half and playing the ball simply and effectively, Donii drives forward with the ball, plays excellent short passes and always looks to move into space. It was such a move, including excellent play by Rajko Dakic, that brought Donii into the penalty area where he chested down the ball and fired, first time, into the roof of the net for only his second goal for his nation - at his home stadium, too.

Christian Averette was the final replacement, coming on for Herge Costa in the centre of defence, but Az-cz's attacking intentions had wilted. Three-nil down to the former World Champions and current best-ranked team in the world is not always a position you can come back from, and they certainly couldn't.

Not yet, of course. Give them a couple of cups and we'll see where they get. If their development so far is anything to go by, we won't be too far away from a Gnome in the World Cup itself.

Final Score from Stadii di Quercus:
Starblaydia 3 - 0 Az-cz
(Rujano 22, Mahezihim 39, Donii 78) - (None)

Konigseifert Chronicle
Golden Eagles Draw World's #15 Sarzonia 2-2
But the bigger question looms: Can they beat world's #26?

Geisenfried began it's quest towards Schiavonia and the Islands of Qutar yesterday with an opening friendly between the Golden Eagles and their manager's home nation, the powerful Sarzonia Stars. The two played in front of a sold out crowd in the Crown Stadium of Konigseifert, as many flocked to see just how good their national team was before they set off in search of qualification for the prestigious event.

It only took fifteen minutes for things to get interesting, when a Sarzonian offensive allowed the Sarzonian forward Steve Jacobsen to put the ball past Kurt Ackermann and into the goal to give Sarzonia an early 1-0 lead on the home team. But a quarter hour later, and Geisenfried was back in gear with their own offensive. Leonard Baehr, trotting up towards the field, managed to pull Jerry Wagoner, a swift Sarzonian defender, off of his mark, the fast Samuel Wolfe. Baehr then make a quick pass to Wolfe, who blew by Jose Yancy, and with the other Sarzonian defenders covering other players, had only Frank Talbot, the Sarzonian keeper, in between him and the goal. Wolfe took the opportunity to knock the ball into the top right hand corner of the goal to equalize the game at 1. After that, Wagoner kept much closer to Wolfe, but the Geisenfried forward and captain still managed to score another goal in the fifty-eighth minute by jumping higher than Wagoner and heading in a rebound from a shot at Talbot to give Geisenfried a surprising 2-1 lead. After 70 minutes, Brett Hancock decided to give Karl Hettich, Ackermann's back-up, some playing time, with him likely replacing the aging Ackermann as starter next cup. Hettich's debut didn't start off well, as within 7 minutes another Sarzonian offensive allowed the Sarzonian captain Brad Clausen a shot which Hettich couldn't reach, sending the match to 2-2. But with the addition of some defensive reinforcements, Hettich played much better, eventually fending off a hard shot from Sarzonian striker Larry Cornwell in a late Sarzonian offensive looking to put the Stars ahead. The game managed to be played with no cards for either side, with both teams seeking to avoid injuries before the WC qualifiers.

Geisenfried 2
Sarzonia 2
Jacobsen (SRZ) 16', Wolfe (GSF) 35', Wolfe (GSF) 58', Clausen (SRZ) 77'
No cards awarded.
Hettich (GK) -> Ackermann (GK) 70', Koelb (DF) -> Baehr (MF) 81', Reinhart (DF) -> Canitz (MF) 81'
Formation Change from 4-5-1 to 6-3-1 at 81st minute

Divisional Foes in Action:
-Top seed Rejistania matched Spaam in a 2-2 game.
-System Karela showed their impressive defense (and poor offense) with a 0-0 draw against Winchestia.

Now, the Golden Eagles head to Dance 2 Revolution for their first WC30 qualifying match, in a critical opening game. Not only is it important to defeat the number 2 seed in the division, but opening momentum may become crucial when it all comes to the home stretch.

Schedule:
Dance 2 Revolution ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? System Karela
Geisenfried ?-? Champlaign
Rejistania ?-? Geisenfried
Bazalonia ?-? Geisenfried
Ropa-Topia ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Commerce Heights JSY
Geisenfried ?-? Dance 2 Revolution
System Karela ?-? Geisenfried
Champlaign ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Rejistania
Geisenfried ?-? Bazalonia
Geisenfried ?-? Ropa-Topia
Commerce Heights JSY ?-? Geisenfried
Home games in Red, Away in Black

((OOC: By the way, Reji, it's pronounced: 'gayh'-'sehn'-'freed'.))

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MONKS STRUGGLE IN PRE-TOURNAMENT FRIENDLY
Last Gasp Penalty Defeats Porn Stars

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe


The new-look Archregimancy squad, ranked 25th in the world, struggled last night to beat the lowly porn stars and strippers from the Holy Empire, needing a last-gasp penalty to secure the win after conceding an early goal.

"Sin is always difficult to overcome" said team coach Fr. Polycarp the Venerable, in comments that may or may not have been intended as a reference to the match "but while we all struggle daily with the temptations of the flesh, the final victory can be ours through trust in the Lord."

While the overwhelming majority of the Archregimancy's opponents were of questionable skill, the distraction caused to the players by the extensive jiggling of comically oversized breasts in the Imperial midfield seemed to unnerve the monastics. The Archregimancy central defence also fell victim to a 5th minute goal from star Imperial forward Andronicus Curcuaso, who - uniquely for this Imperial squad - is clearly an international class player. Curcuaso picked up a loose ball, ghosted past Fr. Nicholas the Unmercenary, and then sent a precisely-placed shot past Fr. Arsenius in goal.

The Archregimancy recovered somewhat after halftime, and a splendid free kick from Fr. Fyodor the Wonder Worker in the 55th minute pulled one back for the lads. But despite Fr. Daniel the Confounder of Heretics bossing the midfield for the rest of the game, only a penalty conceded through a last minute desperate lunge from opposing captain Thor the Might Hammer God - apparently a stage name - on Fr. Brynach the Simple, and converted by the same player, handed the Archregimancy the win.

Despite the narrowness of the result, the Archregimancy players are said to be grateful for the opportunity to test themselves against a somewhat distracting opponents, and have made it clear that they spent the rest of the night praying for the immortal souls of those opponents.

The Bartol Occassional
Bringing you the news... when we feel like it

Disappointment filled the Tocapa sports world as the Tocapa national football team failed to score a goal in friendlies leading up to qualification for the upcoming 30th World Cup. In fact, it could easily be said that the team wasn't even playing. "It's just little hard to stomach," said keeper Roran Eldrop, moments after feasting on a veritable endless bucket of shrimp. "After all ve did in the Baptism of Fire, and they're still charging me for this," iterated the frustrated keeper.

Things seemed to start out so well, as the team entered the stadium, but the mood was quickly dampened when after several crucial minutes, the players simply failed to get moving on the field. "I'm really disappointed," notes forward Stowe Erroe, "I fully expected us to go out and play, and ve just didn't. That and my mother is still alive." The team's lackluster performance has many doubting their chances in the Cup. A Tocapan pedestrian had this to say, "It must be a pretty big cup if it can hold the whole godd***ed vorld."

Midfielder Henter Nol echoed the thoughts of likely the entire team and its fanbase: "Simply an embarassment." Head coach Geraldo Ascou had this to say in a press release immediately afterwars, "Vell, I don't know vhat happened. I mean, ve've playing our hearts out, ya, but here this comes and suddenly it seemed like it vas all for nothing. I know, that if ve just try, ve can go out there and play. Now, vin, that's a whole 'nother story."

Briefs

Tocapa's first game of qualification will be against Vuam and Isma. There is some confusion over whether the game is to be held in Tocapa or in its opponent's homeland. Officials of the Football Division of the Tocapa Athletic Foundation issued a statement saying, "Vhereever it is, ve're sure it von't matter anyvay."
Bungo's Shrimp Spectacular, a popular Tocapan seafood restaurant, has officially banned Tocapan keeper Roran Eldrop from its premises, for reasons unknown as-of-yet.
In a similar move, Miracle Medicinal, maker of the popular Insta-Suicide pills, banned forward Stowe Erroe, who they claim has made "repeated purchases of the product for uses other than their normal intention of suicide."

Mice travelled to success

Miceland - Az-Cz friendly started off a potentially great World Cup performance for the Mice. Loosing to Az-Cz by 2-0 in the ASMV regional semi-final meant that Az-Cz went on to face Aurendia while Miceland battled for third place against Demot, which was won easily.

Despite the short oversea travel to Az-Cz from Miceland in which the Mice are hosted on Az-Cz soil. The loss in the Semi-final of the Baptism of Fire translated into an expected loss at the home ground of the best team in the Baptism of Fire, against the arguably 2nd best team in the Baptism of Fire.

The match started slowly once again both teams where probing each other's styles. Computer InputMouse saw an unexpected opening and slipped through the normally strong Az-Cz defense, Sickly and Fievel where both there to back up the mice and between the three of them charging towards the Pink and Green line. In the end it was Computer InputMouse that took the shot. The ball flew above the outstreched hands of the Az-Cz keeper.

The rest of the match saw both teams struggle to find ways through their opponents defenses. Both teams had a number of opportunities but no-one had the back-up that was required to make these opportunities into goals.

In match-day 7.5 we will host an Az-Cz friendly, today was a great day for all involved, no matter what the species.

Demot Daily ~ Marauders Repelled

In a friendly that was rescheduled to be in Skyhaven (OCC: What happened there?) between Demot and our rivals of old in the ESF, the squad looked sharp as they defeated the elves 2-1. Afterwards, in a join press conference, the ESC and DFC announced that a trophy will be made for the Demot and ESF matches to signify the rivalry. The trophy will be called the "Silver Scimitar", and as the name suggests, it is a small,silver and scimitar shaped. The trophy will be presented to whoever wins the most of the annual 3 friendlies between the nations.

Af for the game, it was everything the squad could of hoped for as they prepare to make their run in the qualifying stages. It started off with Masteron leading an attack with Frontson. As the team began to assert itself, the towering figure of Dwier Titenburg came in and clean stole the ball off of Ysman's feet and sprung a dashing Cuellar. Cuellar then turned Hostra the wrong way and got the ball to Zacharius as Lucas tried to swipe the ball from him. Zacharius then lofted the ball across the box over Gooden and Night volleyed it straight past a diving Whitehurse.

The elves celebrations would continue on into the second half as they began to press our side hard. The squad surely would of lost faith in itself if Black hadn't brought the team together after a rough foul and gave them a harsh talking to. The sparks began to show in the 70th minute as Ysman worked her way down the sideline, manuvering past Kries and Stone. Once she was in the clear, she delivered a perfect cross which Frontson met with full force and netted it past a stunned St. Louis.

It began to get physical in the last quater of the game, as every inch was fought for. Each pass recieved was immiedately met by a harsh tackle. Then in the 84th minute, the ESF defence broke as Ysman interecepted a pass and was in the clear. All she had to do was get past the keep. St. Louis came out and made himself big. Ysman dodged right, then left, and still St. Louis didn't fall either way. Finnaly faking a 360, St. Louis dived for his left, and Ysman deposited the ball into the empty net.

The win now gives the team some confidence heading into the qualifyers, and trust me, they will need it. The team will be going up against some of the best and seasoned sides in this Cup, and will need nothing short of a miracle or bizzare disaster to get into the Proper. Still, all rain clouds have a silver lining, and if nothing else, we will get the expierence we need to set a solid foundation for future Cups.

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

Squornshelan Striker to enter Penalty Competition

Part of a long tradition of excellence at the striker position in Squornshelous, Mostafa Ogbadan (WC24-WC27), now aged 45, has accepted a nomination by the SFA to participate in the WC30 Penalty Competition for Squornshelous. Ogbadan played with the Pschychoes at one of the most exciting points in their history, playing from the bench on the WC25 run to third place, and spearheading the WC27 effort which lead to a fourth place finish, and was the Pschychoes' most recent semifinal appearance. Ogbadan played alongside greats such as World Cup Hall of Famers Jorge Fernandina and Petr Skritsch, as well as the man most likely to take Squornshelous' next spot in the WCHoF, Franz Persson. He was also a mentor to the stars of today, most notably current superstar, Vasili Petrov. Ogbadan says he will be proud to once again wear his #10 jersey for the red-and-black.

Az-cz Scroll
August 17, 2006
Az-cz City
Em-Nm

Youth barely outclassed by Miceland

Today the nation of Az-cz experienced something new, a football loss. And it happened in Slimes Stadium none the less. However despite that the day was considered a rousing success, by both teams.
The game day started with speeches and poems from both nations about the glories of multiculturalism, and their was a kleptodance exhibition as well as a demonstration of traditional dances of Miceland. The fans from both sides seem to enjoy learning about the culture of the other.
As for the football itself Miceland proved their strength and showed they had been training. In the Baptism of Fire stamina proved to be the undoing of the mice, but this time they easily kept up with the team for the full ninety of minutes.
Of course Miceland was using their entire main side from the Baptism of Fire while we only had five members from the team. The game tended towards a defensive one with both teams making few good chances.
Eventually in the second half the youngest player made the crucial mistake that allowed the mice to earn their victory. Computer InputMouse made a brilliant fake that completely froze Haji-Me. He was unsure which way to go so didn't end up moving at all, which allowed Computer InputMouse to get open by himself and blast it by Fr-Tld.
Although that goal was in the 33rd minute, Az-cz try as they might couldn't find an equalizer. Although Kn-Dg and Levesque both made a number of brilliant runs neither Kez-Lor nor Ip-Gp had the creativity from the midfield to breakdown the Mice defense.
Az-cz next travels to Starblaydia for their second anti-speciesism friendly before starting the world cup proper. Hopefully better results will find them there before beginning qualifying. Still despite the loss it was a good day and both sides seem to be looking forward to the replay at the halfway point. We wish good luck to bothsides and we will be monitoring the Miceland results as well as our own from here on out. Cheers for both nations.

Statistics
Goals Az-cz 0 Miceland 1
Az-cz Scorers
Possession Az-cz 44% Miceland 56%
Shots Az-cz 7 Miceland 11
Corners Az-cz 0 Miceland 0

HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

PORN STARS LOSE TO MONKS
Cuation Venue Announced For Home Match Against Satan

By Constantine Ducaso
Archregimancy Correspondent

Team xXx, the Imperial Porn Stars, surprised many neutral observers overnight by only losing 2-1 to the 25th-ranked team from the Archregimancy. It took two second half goals for the below-par monks to secure the win after star forward Andronicus Curcuaso had given the Holy Empire a shock early lead.

Key to the surprisingly effective performance were the distracting runs of twin sister wingers Busty and Chesty LaRue and a tenacious terrier-like match from central holding midfielder Pussy Willow, who proved that a career in lesbian superheroine porn has certainly left her fit, even if she can't kick or pass the ball particularly well.

Team coach Dirk Slaughter pronounced himself 'pleased', and poured scorn on the suggestion that a match between Orthodox monks and porn stars didn't perhaps cheapen the former while also inviting ridicule of the entire idea of an international sporting tournament. "I pour scorn on that suggestion" he said, perhaps somewhat over literally.

In other news, the Cuation authorities have stepped into the breach to offer Sky Peaks stadium as a venue for the Holy Empire's home match against the Anathematic Republics. The Holy Empire Football Association announced that it was accepting the offer contained in the following message privately telegrammed to HEFA HQ:

To: Alasdair I Frosticus
Re: Stadium for game vs Satan

The Cuation people have long watched your...players and will be cheering your team on as they will the team from Hell. The stadium would be packed and the two teams well looked after while in Cuation. We offer you the Sky Peaks Stadium for the games you not play in the Dream Realm

Igor
Director of Cuation Football

HEFA meanwhile announced that, contrary to what had been suggested by some sources, the squad was in fact willing to travel to Hell for the away leg. "They're all going to end up there anyway" said a source close to the team "so they might as well get used to it now."

MC: Welcome to today's post game press conference. Unlike all previous matches we are unable to congratulate the team on successful results. So we will instead congratulate both nations on a match that defined the word friendly. The Mice who came to visit were an honor to their country and the team fought well today. Good luck to them and us as well, in upcoming matches. With us after today's game are Coach Levesque, Kn-Dg, and Mario Nerazzurri.

Levesque: I'd like to tip my hat to my opponents. We got the best of them the first time around and they the second. We'll be waiting for them to finish it out. Good luck to them. Like us they might not end up advancing, but they'll cause some headaches for some of their opponents. As for our side, it was good to see these kids get some experience. Although they still need some time to develop, you're looking at the core of future Az-cz squad's here. Down the road these players will be quite good.

Az-cz reporter 1: How does losing to Miceland affect the mood of the squad going forward?

Levesque: I don't think it does really. We know that this result was one result and doesn't have any impact. It's disappointing to lose, but all of these players have club experience, so they know what it's like and we'll rebound.

Kn-Dg: Considering the squad we fielded today, despite the previous match and us being at home Miceland were the favorites.

Az-cz reporter 2: How is Haji-Me dealing with the mistake he made on Computer InputMouse's goal?

Levesque: He's 15. And a professional footballer. And representing his nation. And his mistake didn't cost us the game. We failed to score. If we could've scored we could rally. He felt down after the game, but he played pretty well. He helped hold Miceland to only 1 goal, which is better than a lot of first level international sides could do. He has an incredible future ahead of him and we made sure he knows it. It's a blip. He made a mistake and he'll learn. Nothing to worry about.

Az-cz reporter 3: Why do you think you couldn't crack the Miceland defense today?

Levesque: Well first it goes to credit to Miceland. They played great defense today and their stamina was improved allowing them to run with us for the whole 90. The other problem was service from midfield. During our Baptism of Fire run If-Wt and Pizelkaxrovsky gave us great service from the midfield. Ip-Gp and Kez-Lor failed to do that today. Again we're talking about teenagers here, so there's no shame in that. They got valuable experience and saw how tough defenses are at this level.

Miceland reporter: What are your thoughts on the Miceland squad?

Levesque: We have nothing but respect for your team. We think you will make some noise in group and wish you the best of luck.

Kn-Dg: I enjoyed both matches and look forward to a third, and if possible I'd gladly take more in either the World Cup itself or in the Cup of Harmony.

Az-cz reporter 5: How was it playing without the full squad today guys.

Nerazzurri: It was strange. I'm not used to leading the defense. Normally I'd have Ns-Ta or Ml-Dni out there but today I was the captain of the whole squad. That's definitely not a responsibility I'm used to but it was a good learning experience. I have to take some of the blame for Haji-Me's mistake as well. Clearly I didn't put him in the right place. Oh well. We'll learn. That was definitely one of the goals of the game.

Kn-Dg: Agreed. The team didn't have the same flow that we're used to, but we'll adapt. I'm certainly expecting to play a lot more games with these guys, so we'll all learn each others rhythms better and move forward.

Az-cz reporter 6: Starblaydia up next, nervous?

Kn-Dg: No. Why should we be there's no expectation. We'll just go out and try our hardest. If we lose, we lose no worries.

MC: Ok, one last question.

Az-cz reporter 7: Will you make any changes based on this game?

Levesque: No, none at all. It served two purposes, establish good relations with Miceland and fight speciesism was one, and give experience to younger players was the second. It doesn't affect long term planning at all.

QSPN FOOTBALL TONIGHT

Tim Brady: Apparently, with out either side Football Association's knowledge, Qazox and Tynelia had a match yesterday even though it was seemingly called off. The match ended in a 1-1 draw according to reports, but none of the reports say who played or scored during the match. Meanwhile, Qazox' 1st opponents, The Mice of Miceland won their freindly against Az-Cz 1-0. Hopefully this will tire down the Mice and allow Qazox an easier win.

(ooc: I'm not gonna be here until 8/21/06 due to family issues back up north..Damn..I finally maybe had a shot at qualifing.. Seeya on Monday)

Az-cz Scroll
Augsut 17, 2006
Starblaydia
Il-Lur

Starblaydia dominates match up of worlds bests

Combined with the Anti-speciesim festivities the buzz around the match was the World's best versus the World's best new club. Starblaydia was treating the match like an exhibition including playing a record four dwarven starters while Az-cz was treating it like a test, starting their best eleven.
Unfortunately for Az-cz, the Starblaydian attack was too much for Az-cz. Although Az-cz battled valiantly and created some good chances, it was clear which side was the newcomer.
The game started out at a speed higher than Az-cz was used to. Although this lead to a few chances, it also meant that they had to rush their decisions. This got to Ml-Dni as he repeated the mistake he made against Winchestia giving up a silly turnover to allow Starblaydia to move ahead.
Winchestia continued to fight back and Pizelkaxrovsky was proving that he belonged at any level. Setting up the best Az-cz chance of the first half despite being hounded Pedro Rujano. He found Bub-Rub flashing towards the goal but the diminutive striker couldn't find a good shot and ended up making a rare mistake by skying it over the goal.
The second goal was made by over aggresiveness. First Kn-Dg and Zax-Im got a little bit too attack minded at left some holes at the back of the midfield. Then when the shot came Gn-Lg guessed a high shot to the post but the Starblaydian player just tapped in for an easy goal.
At half time Levesque tried to fire up the troops by making a couple of changes. He brought on Az-If for Hubertino and Uz-Gz for Bn-Dg. While they peppered Grizmbar with chances including two brilliant saves on shots from Ox-Rx and Bub-Rub they just couldn't quite beat him. However when the Starblaydia counterattack struck they found the third goal against a vulnerable three man defense.
At that point Starblaydia took a page from the Az-cz playbook and went into lockdown mode. Try as they might they simply couldn't break the Starblaydia defense. They got a few more good shots, but the keeper was more than equal to the challenge.
In all not a horrible result, but definitely not a good one. The team now has to put their disappointing goalless friendlies behind them as they begin qualifying against The Candrian Empire. This is a team Az-cz has dominated twice, so they should be able to start qualifying off well, with a win here.

Stats
Goals Az-cz 0 Starblaydia 3
Az-cz Scorers
Possession Az-cz 35% Starblaydia 65%
Shots Az-cz 13 Starblaydia 13
Corners Az-cz 1 Starblaydia 2

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/newnewslogo.jpg

Sea Dragons Drop Friendly to Cuation

This is Kellan Kildan of the FNN, reporting live from Cuation. And the special guest tonight is none other than Micah “Kneebreaker” Swift, hence the large box made of bullet-proof glass that I am currently sitting in.

That’s right, ya wimpy ass <Bleep> stay in your little cage like the rat you are!

Well……um……it seems the Sea Dragons were defeated rather soundly by Cuation today. I believe 3-1 was the score. What are your thoughts on that?

We simply didn’t put any effort onto it, ya stinkin <bleep> These guys are friends and we cant just go out there and hurt them, ya idiot. We want them to qualify this time.

So, Micah, are you saying that the Sea Dragons threw the match?

<Bleep><bleep><bleep> didn’t thrown any <bleep> match you <bleep> goat <bleep> We have a World Cup to qualify for. We cant just worry about this <bleep> match. They needed the win for marale. We already know what we can do.

So now the focus switches to the WC30 qualifiers and the major opponent there, New Montreal States. Is that right?

Wrong. As usual. Moron. The focus switches to Horgate - Our first <bleep> opponents. That is the only match we are concentrating on right now. Even since before the Cuation friendly. This is the only match that counts for anything you <bleep> idiot.

So what of the Horgate match? How will the Sea Dragons do?

We feel <bleep> confident of our chances. They’re unranked and should be a good tune-up for us as we prepare to face tougher sides in our group.

That is all of our time for now. Tune in next time when we speak with star forward Porche Alexander……

Now open that <bleep> box you <bleep><bleep>chicken <bleep> as………….

"Okay, there's the security checkpoint. Ready?"

"Yeah. Do we really have to do it that way?"

Security was all over the place. Nobody wanted a riot breaking out, or at least a riot involving people with contraband. Such as the large amount of fireworks hidden all over Rémy Filaut and Calvin Trundholme, or possibly the Super Soaker full of beer (as well as a 24-pack intended for actual consumption) on the body of Jean Richards.

However, they had a plan.

"I'm telling you, Aline, that if you and Sandy walk through with us, we'll have no problems getting in."

"And why, pray tell, should I go along with this?"

"The beer?"

Aline shrugged. "Fine. But don't think I won't remember this later. Say, sometime later tonight."

Rémy shrugged. "Whatever." The five walked through to the checkpoint at the entry to the stadium. "You two!" a guard at the checkpoint called, gesturing towards the girls. "If you'll step over here for random screening..."

"We'll just go grab our seats, then?" Calvin asked. The guards just waved them through. The three guys walked into the stadium, laughing. "He really wanted to get his wand all over her," said Rémy, triggering a new wave of guffaws. Various other sophomoric wisecracks were dropped as the three teens made their way towards their seats, just behind the east-side goal.

The two girls showed up a few minutes later, looking about ready to punch the lights out of the next authority figure they saw. "Damn pervert," muttered Aline to nobody in particular. Several beers were required to restore a more collegial atmosphere in their part of the stands, and as the teams came out and the Dome began roaring, Calvin set off several fireworks, intending to chuck them at the field. This he did, and would probably have gotten away with it had he not also lit the fireworks sticking out of Rémy's pocket, without either being aware of this.

Five seconds later Rémy felt pain where nobody should ever do so as several rockets shot straight up through the seam of his pocket and into a couple highly sensitive areas. And whether they watched from the hospital (Aline, shaking her head as her idiot boyfriend writhed in agony), jail (Calvin having being held responsible, although he was released after the match without charges being pressed), or the stands (Jean and Sandy, throughly drunk), everyone enjoyed watching the Paladins dig their way out of a 2-goal hole in the second half, battling to a well-earned draw as stoppage time ran down.

And what was best, nobody in New Montreal especially felt like rioting, as there wasn't cause for excessive celebration, or excessive rage. Although there was still plenty of sex, drugs and booze being consumed by the masses that evening.

PALADINS 2 - Villeneuve 71, Faulkner 88
BEDISTAN 2 - Hollins 40, Wilson 55

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Faulkner 1
Villeneuve 1

The ancient game console sat on the carpet in front of the TV.

"Man, this so better be worth it." Jay said, scowling. "There were spiders in that damn box."

"Oh please, there was a spider. You're such a baby." Rob said, trying to fit the cartrige into the slot. "Either way, this is going to be worth it."

"You didn't even tell me what it is."

"It's some old World Cup game, I think."

"You think? You risked my life for an old World Cup game."

"Well, it's not exactly a sports game."

"... alright, I'm confused."

"Well, some old company was about to go out of business, right? And there was a rather big amount of world cup fever then... so, they figured, why not a World Cup Roleplaying game?"

"... are you a failed abortion or something? This is idiotic."

"No, really. It was supposed to save the company."

"Well, did it?"

"Hell no, it's a freaking World Cup Roleplaying game. Noone would play that."

Jay stared at Rob coldly. "Really now."

"Well, those who don't want to suffer an existance of total pain wouldn't."

"And you would?"

"Why, I'm a glutton for punishment." Rob said, turning the console on.

Elven Times
Marauders Fall Victim To Demot

Well in what was supposed to be a tune up game for the qualifyers, the Marauders fell to their rivals in Demot. The game was originally scheduled to be in Raynor City, but due to the field being prepared for qualifyers, the game was switched to Skyhaven in Demot at the last minute. Many ESF fans who had tickets to the game were sadly dissapointed as they arrived at the stadium only to get a refund for their tickets and not witness a glorious match.

And a glorious match it was. The two squads put everything they had into the game, despite it being only a friendly. However, the plague of second half letdowns from the last trip to through hit again as Demot scored two goals in the last 20 minutes to steal a victory after Night had put the Marauders up in the 4th minute.

Now the squad must reasess itself and hope to build up it's confidence lest they be mowed over in the meaningful games. Suprsingly though, when asked what went wrong in the game, Captain Zacharius choose some interesting words.

"Well it was just a friendly afterall. Plus that last minute switch in venues, with us catching a flight just 3 hours before kick off. That is probably what caused us to thin in the second half and allow the two goals."

Friend's Watch
Cuation defeated ASMV 3-1
Meanwhile Haraki and Becquerelia did not have any friendlies.

Florintine also announced during the post game conference that the team and Cuation's Legends team decided to have a match on matchday 7.5. It is now only waiting to be confirmed publically by Cuation's manager.

Article by Ron Santpa

WE HATE YOU.
Yes. You. The reader.
Na. Only kidding.
Have you ever visited Norway?
My sister got bitten by a moose in Norway.
Very painful, moose bites.


The people in charge of the subtitle have been fired.
He lived in Norway.
With a moose.
Nice country, by the way.
Norway, that is.

Those in charge of firing those in charge of the subtitles have been fired.
However, we must now resort to handing the writing of the rest of this article to a Korean company because of budget restrictions.


So we have group! Excitement is very as team of country draws Cup of Worlds!

Prayers and staff alike was in happy of mood for making of group in 30 of Cup of World! Celebration begin with man from Schiavonia took balls out of jars. First of group was teams of group 1!

Spaamanian Plijous (55) - Team of smaller brother of Spaam. Chance of qualify is average!
Winchestia (143) - Team not very good. Chance of qualify is low.
Errinundera (-) - First time for team. Chance of qualify is nothing.
The Lowland Clans (41) - Team known of well but underperformance often. Chance of qualify is average!
Hiiraan (178) - Team not so good as prediction. Chance of qualify is low.
Chicanada (28) - Big team of good knowlege. Many chances of qualify!
Benlandngdo (108) - Team with name that does not bring fear in harts of opponents in the dressing rooms. Chance of qualify is low.
Liverpool England (5) - Worthy players of talent assured. No qualify of team is not known to be.

After men in shirts have jumped, screen showed a film of region. Region FIFA. Very nice film, applause was of much happyness. Then woman of Qutar in blue catched balls in glass goldfish bowl. Such was made group of 2.

Oliverry (14) - Many team not want to be with man of Oliverry in game. Qualify is high possible.
Cuation (39) - Caution of Cuation is in many mind of team. Indeed team has strong good. Chance of qualify is good.
Alif Laam Miim (191) - Team of little histories, hard to know. Chance of qualify very close to of nothing.
Toopoxia (169) - Team with few of knowlege apart from team. Chance of qualify not.
BENKONATE (-) - MANY THINK NOT OF EXISTING OF TEAM. QUALIFY IS OF THE LITTLE.
Lisburn Mateys (67) - Team of much possible but not did. Qualify of perhaps if good luck.
Sliponia (129) - Team with hope of trial but experiance falter. Qualify hard too.
Milchama (30) - Team unlucky and of know of places of second. Second is hard qualify but not too for player of good will.

Not many people rejoice of group. Two hats fly through room. Manager in Lisburn Mateys is tired perhaps sad of look. Room go somber and on screen become sponsors of world cup in names. Free drinks are to given. Part of room unhappy because of time the sponsor like. Woman from Schiavonia in red stand up and take teams of 3 group.

Tessan (102) - Team with king of iron crown and goldy fist. But team uncommoner mean space of bettering small. Qualify is little of possible.
Haraki (36) - Team of very good albeit dip of level of recent. Strong qualify.
Iansisle (78) - Coming of age of team is true. Qualify is average hope.
Sel Appa (-) - Team of novelty is. Qualify of very nothing.
Czariums (178) - Team of Czar have. History little but much wills. Qualify to be hardened from not nice.
McPsychoville (24) - Team nest amongst best in knowlege of player in country, but happen to lack level above experience of. Qualify high.
Aurendia (135) - Team of silence and fog. Qualify to be not to do.
Casari (4) - Team of best almost can do thing of greatness if good form. Easy of one qualify.

-=End part of first=-

All rights reserved Tsukehonomai Djengaho.

"Ah, good, the draw is in," said Gregory Penns-McCormick, Iansisle's longtime director of Sports, Games, and Recreation. Penns-McCormick, a ci-devant baronet, had survived the Revolution only by renouncing the king even before the Flight to the North, dropping his title, and joining Charles Bradsworth's Gull Flag Party. As a ci-devant, however, he was always careful to appear more revolutionary than the average proletarian, so that there could be no misunderstandings about his political standing that might lead to the gallows.

Which was why, perhaps, he noticed that the draw included Tessan long before he registered fourth-ranked Casari. A wonderful opportunity, this, to proclaim his love for the republic and the revolution on an international stage and help establish the Gull Flag as the banner of freedom, democracy, and anti-monarchalism. True, true, there were many royalist countries in the World Cup, but few as passionate or as outspoken in their reactionary ways as Tessan. The director rubbed his hands together with glee.

---------

In the Ianapalis Star-Tribune:

Hang the Aristocrats from the Streetlights!
In a fit of patriotism, the Ians promise to hit Tessan, other royalist footballers with the iron toe of the proletariat

by Jay McYule and ‘Toothless’ Sam St. Pierre

IANAPALIS – In the rush to wave the Gull Flag and declare a never-ending global revolution, perhaps the Ians and their publicists were somewhat remiss in noticing those elements of the draw which weren’t directly related to the coming thrashing of royalists up one side of the Shield and down the other.

Fortunately, that is why you, gentle reader, have the good folks at the Star-Tribune to look out for you. We’ve prepared a preview of group Three, complete with final finishing places and the usual in-depth and insightful commentary of an Ians World Cup campaign!

1) Casari: They’re really good. Everyone believes in the magic of the Ians, but no one is stupid enough to pick the ci-devant hosts (ha! Just kidding! -eds) in anything except the first slot.
2) Iansisle! Your one and only, the greatest nation in the world! After a superb run through the SUPERCUP! II, the Ians are well placed to take on the game’s elite in the final thirty-two.
3) McPsychoville: They have a fairly high rank and a cool name. That’s good enough for us! – though not good enough to take on the Ians.
4) Aurendia: We’re not really sure who these guys are, but they seem to allow good-natured godmodding, which puts them in the elite of a roleplaying event that has become too stuffy and stuck up for its own good.
5) Sel Appa: Unranked, perhaps, but they actually have a starting eleven, which is more than you can say for the sides below it (save the royalists, who will be cleansed by the iron will of the commoner and unable to climb from the basement).
6) Haraki: If there’s one thing we’ve learned so far in our return to the Cup, it’s that these blokes are major chokers.
7) Czariums: Their name sounds royalist. Perhaps not enough to be sent to the gallows, but enough to warrant further investigation.
8) Tessan: Ladies, please avert your eyes! The scoundrels, the very filth whose reactionary tendencies we shall overthrow in glorious revolution and whose dogmatic royalism we shall bury under a hail of goals! Long live the Repulic! Long live the Republic!

Well, there you have it. Hurrah the Ians!

Errinundera (-) - First time for team. Chance of qualify is nothing.

The following telegram has been forward to Vuam and Isma to set the record straight

Greetings, V & I.

I would like to point out the factual errors in your recent post on the World Cup xXx -RP Thread. Although you may well be correct in saying our qualifying chances are nothing Errinundera has a proud NSWC record. This is our 7th World Cup and we were, in fact, WC7 champions. Three players from that era have been inducted into the World Cup Hall of Fame.

You can learn more about our illustrious football history here:

Errinundera Soccer (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera#Soccer)

Regards.

willd
Errinundera's Protector of Various Things

Errinundera']The following telegram has been forward to Vuam and Isma to set the record straight

Greetings, V & I.

I would like to point out the factual errors in your recent post on the World Cup xXx -RP Thread. Although you may well be correct in saying our qualifying chances are nothing Errinundera has a proud NSWC record. This is our 7th World Cup and we were, in fact, WC7 champions. Three players from that era have been inducted into the World Cup Hall of Fame.

You can learn more about our illustrious football history here:

Errinundera Soccer (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera#Soccer)

Regards.

willd
Errinundera's Protector of Various Things

After extensive research within national, supranational and other databases, we must offer you our consensus.

However, our journalist's remarquable effort is nonetheless completely factually accurate. Indeed, it is not the first time for the institution of Errinundera to be part of the World Cup, but there are no players within the squad that have experience of World Cup soccer. As such, it is indeed the "first time for [Errinundera's] team".

We remind you that following the De Hildebert-Mangestan aggreements, members of staff are not accounted within the designation 'team', as they are subject to the designation 'staff'. They are however part of the national institution, the 'squad'.

With regards, Ministery of Journalism.

MC: Joining us after a tough game today are Coach Levesque, Zax-Im and Pizelkaxrovsky.

Levesque: I'm proud of my guys. We clearly didn't have the ability to hang with the number one team but we fought hard. That's all I asked out of them. There were some mistakes that hurt us and we'll work on tightening them up, but the effort was good and that's what's important.

Az-cz reporter 1: What would you say the biggest problem for the team today was?

Levesque: I think it was mental errors, many of which were caused by Starblaydia. They just didn't give us any time to think out there so we rushed and made some mistakes. We'll just have to learn to deal with it.

Az-cz reporter 2: What are the things the team can build on from this game?

Levesque: Well Pizelkaxrovsky showed that he is truly a top flight player and we proved that despite our height physically we aren't outmanned.

Az-cz reporter 3: After these two losses how is the mentality of the team?

Levesque: Fine. I'm not worried about it. Two losses don't undo the confidence we gained in the Baptism of Fire.

Zax-Im: It shouldn't affect us. Most of us didn't play against Miceland and Starblaydia is the number one team in the world. So there's really not much else to say.

Az-cz reporter 4: After these results what are the goals for the qualifiers?

Zax-Im: Unchanged. We still want to finish in the top four and hopefully make the Cup of Harmony. We've seen the reports predicting us over Nedalia and Anathematic Republics. We're of course fighting for that, but we're certainly not counting on that happening.

Az-cz reporter 5: I noticed that Stanleyinho didn't play either friendly. What's his condition?

Levesque: He's healthy, but his fitness isn't quite 100% yet. We held him out to avoid any flare ups. Expect him to start versus The Candrian Empire.

Az-cz reporter 6: What do you think are the lessons learned in Starblaydia?

Levesque: We learned a lot really. There are too many to list them all but probably the most important things we learned are what it takes to succeed at the top and also about our own determination.

Az-cz reporter 7: Same question as always, any changes for next game?

Levesque: Nope. We'll be going back to the regular starting 11. Hopefully this will help us get back on track.

Az-cz reporter 8: Would you describe the anti-speciesism events as a success?

Levesque: Absolutely. All three nations showed that non-humans can play football and that humans and non-humans can intermingle.

Zax-Im: Indeed. When the world's best team gives the captain's armband to a non human it shows that sports don't discriminate.

Pzelkaxrovsky: And both host countries had great atmosphere's for their matches.

MC: Alright, last question before you guys return home.

Az-cz reporter 9: In terms of points what is the Az-cz goal?

Pizelkaxrovsky: I'd say mid 20's would be a realistic target. If we could get into the high 20s we'd have a shot at qualifying.

MC: Well that's it for today. Good luck against The Candrian Empire.

((can’t sign in as Tynelia today but this is a Tynelian RP))

Tynelia Files Protest

In a surprising move the Tynelian Soccer Federation has filed a formal protest against the entire WCC after word reached Tynelia of an alleged friendly match between Tynelia and Qazox. When contacted about the match Tynelian Coach Adam Billington was stunned.

“What are you talking about? the team was with me all day watching a sneak preview of the movie Invincible to get us motivated for the WC. I declined the offer from the Qazox soccer federation to have a friendly match because I didn’t want to give anything away to our opponents. In fact I saw it mentioned on Tynelian Soccer Weekly that we declined the match. Besides we have film from the Starblaydia match to study. I don’t know who was out on the field but it wasn’t us.”

TSF President Jim Jennings immediately held a press conference afterwards and stated his intention to protest this activity around their team.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the press, no one was as shocked as I when word arrived of a draw between us and Qazox in a friendly pre- Cup warm up. As the invitation had been declined we were shocked to find some imposters claiming to be us. I contacted Coach Billington to make sure he had not rescheduled something on his own and he was as shocked as I to hear about this match.

“But this is not the first time Tynelia has found itself entered in something it never signed up for. In fact not one year ago my predecessor was stunned to discover the day before that Tynelia had been entered into the Draggonnii Inviyatti. Needless to say the national team was nowhere near the location having gone on a nation wide tour against local teams and could not possibly arrive in time or reschedule. Forced to send in a team that happened to be nearby, the team played valiantly despite no time to prepare but as expected they accomplished little and surprised many to even get into the middle bracket. Now we find a team entered into a matchup that was declined on a national television show.

“On behalf of the Tynelian Soccer Federation I must protest the continuing pattern of entering Tynelia into events that no one in Tynelia knows about being in until after the fact. While we are honored that so many places wish to have us attend their events it is customary to at least let the team in question say yes before entering them. Our international standing and ranking will be damaged if inferior squads are forced to represent us rather than our actual national team. We also ask that these imposter Tynelians be found and turned over to Tynelia for justice. As a final note, Tynelia HAS signed up for the World Cup and our national squad IS there to compete unlike these other instances. That's all i have to say, thank you ladies and gentlemen of the press.”

News items from the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Green Left Online Edition

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/GreenLeft.gif

ESECK RECEIVES RED CARPET IN McKILLOPS BRIDGE

It was a day of huge crowds in Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) on Tuesday. A quarter of a million people witnessed the last moments of MONDA (see report below) and similar numbers lined the banks of the Snowy River in McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge) to witness the arrival of the Eseck national side in a prelude to World Cup xXx. Flags and bunting in the Eseck and Errinundera colours adorned the river banks for kilometres and a delegation, selected by lottery, greeted the visitors at the wharf.

The team members were bemused at the sign on the wharf that read, “Please leave meat, leather, guns and cars in bin provided.” One asked if cars had ever been left in the giant bin and was advised that, yes, every few years someone brought in a car on one of the river boats but, as it was obvious there was nowhere to drive, compliance swiftly followed. In any case Errinundera’s sniffer wombats are legendary.

The McKillopians were on their best behaviour. Eseck is a devoutly Christian nation so snapiofferu, the city mayor, had asked that people ensure they wore clothes that day. This request, so politely and reasonably put, was complied with. The request wasn’t really necessary - the winter weather discourages nudity at the moment.

Virgins offered themselves and were declined. No offence was intended and none was taken. A civic function was held at the old palace where the Eseckis were given the keys to the nation for the duration of their stay.

A GIANT FALLS

The long awaited end of MONDA, Rodger River's (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rodger_River) beloved sacred tree (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sacred_Tree), has finally taken place. Early yesterday morning, imbert, senior arborist from the Sacred Tree Registry, announced that the tree would fall that day. “The weather bureau has forecast moderate winds. Our arboreismic devices indicate that the tree will come down when the wind speed reaches 8 km/h. The expected wind direction is from the south west so, given the structure of the tree, we predict that it will fall / collapse in a south easterly direction.”

Our person on the sport reports:

“With crowds now estimated at 250,000, imbert and his assistants mark out the impact spot and cordon off the danger area. Anticipation grows as giant screens display the steadily increasing wind speed along with the tree movements provided by the arboreismic meters.

“At 11:11 in the morning the wind speed reaches 8.2 km/hr and the tree begins to shudder. What appears to be dust is emitted from the trunk. Then, the upper section slides, slowly at first, then with gathering speed, into the base. There is a huge CRACK! – the upper section topples exactly in the direction predicted and the base disintegrates, sending spongy, rotten timber in all directions. The falling portion of trunk breaks up on impact and, after the dust settles and the last wooden projectiles fall to earth, there is only a pile of rubble where once a proud giant stood. A brief silence gives way to a spontaneous roar of approval and devotion from the quarter of a million people who witness this awesome event.”

ESECK RECEIVES SHORT SHRIFT AT MILOSIS COLISEUM

Errinundera’s re-entry into the international football arena was greeted with a flurry of goals in the first few minutes of the friendly match against Eseck at the Milosis Coliseum (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Milosis_Coliseum). Vice captain ubhashinim (5th) and rosaniel (8th) got the team going before the visitors replied (10th). After the reckless opening, proceedings continued in an energetic and willing manner with more enthusiasm than skill displayed. Goals to addicksonia (49th) and rosaniel (74th) must surely boost team morale. Eseck, however, did succeed in pulling one back (63rd).

Veteran captain, keok, was overwhelmed by the response of McKillopians. “I couldn’t believe it. These last few days, tens of thousands have been lining the streets wherever we go. The Eseck players have been getting the same treatment. And this is only a friendly. The response when I played in World Cup 26 was nothing like this.” luthient, the other veteran from that unsuccessful campaign concurs, "People just weren't interested back then."

Team bootstudder, pletive, had his own theory about that. “I reckon it’s because this time round Errinundera is running a proper entry in the World Cup. Businessmen ran that last one and Errinundrians don’t get excited about money.”

ERRINUNDERA EXTENDS INVITATION TO VUAM AND ISMA JOURNALISTS

Flattered by the recent interest in our nation, The Errinundera Football Association (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_Football_Association) and the Department of Journalism at the McKillops Bridge Polytechnic have extended an invitation to journalists from Vuam and Isma to co-convene a course on Creative Journalism to be held this coming semester.

President of the EFA, uashe - a former journalist himself, is keen to build bridges between nations. "A football match is one form of art; describing it is another. It is clear that we can learn much from these masters."

OOC: Yes, this includes both HT and FK terminology. Sorry for that, but I could not resist.
IC:

No whining that we conceded, I promise

The Orange-Blues faced the 29th ranked Spaam as first opponent in the pre-qualification friendly and drew 2:2. The Orange-Blues were lacking the formation experience which did result in rather modest percentages of ball possession and low number of chances. The defense stood traditionally good and despite not being used to play like this, the Orange-Blues went ahead 1:0 with a brilliant shot of Syku Lyku, which Feoca Arthur tried to weakly save. However at half-time, a weird person appeared on the side of the spaamers. They realized who he was very quickly: Alan Belmore, who went to the wrong match. Alan Belmores godmoddedness did (as Excelites suggested correctly) result in the rest of the Spaamian team becoming horribly bad and not even able to pass correctly. However alan Belmore was everywhere and even if a catastrophic spaamian pass directly went to Lyku I Simu, a divine tackle of Alan Belmore was able to re-get it. The insane godmod scored 3 goals, most notable the second when Jeri Kis summoned a bit godmodding potential himself and tried a divine+x save but the ball seemed to go through him as if for a second only its idea and none of its matter existed. However the only way to defeat godmodding is to godmod yourself and so when Alan Belmore had hthe ball in midfield. Both Syku Lykus (due to having the same name, they were indistinguishable for him) ran around hm and confused him. He lost his sense of orientation for a while and scored one for the Orange-Blues. The 2:2 was the final score.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/DSFemalesMedia.jpg

Mystical Unicorns To Face TnUI Test

Queen Sonya sat quietly with the Mystical Unicorns on the plane headed for TnUI. The supposed friendly match against Lexington SC had not taken place as planned, and that left some much needed time for preparation - Or at least watching film on their opponents. It was hard to actually practice in a flying tin can.

But the Unicorns were ready. At least as much so as they would be. TnUI would pose a serious challenge for the squad. Add the fact that the only top-tier side that the Unicorns had actually managed to defeat in previous qualification attempts had been Vilita, and this might not be the best match for the Unicorns to do well in. Ok so we did fare well against Milchama, but that was long before they had reached their present lofty ranking.

Altáriël Telperiën was undoubtedly the best that D&S could offer as far as scoring goes. WC’s 27 an 28 had seen her almost single-handedly account for all the Unicorn scoring. But with the additions of Avril Auerswald and Zana Jablon to the starting line-up for WC29, Altáriël had gotten some much needed help. The super threesome now posed some serious problems for opposing defenders.

The midfield had become very solid as well. Brigette Deteso and Maurita Deni had joined Tári Falassion and Nátulcien Eluch`div` to make quite an imposing force in the middle of the pitch. Eluch`div` was the soft-spoken leader of the group and perhaps the entire squad.

The porous defense of the Unicorns early attempts at qualification seems to have finally come together in a serious attempt at actually stopping goals this time around. Tisa Laos leads the group with her fiery attitude and physical approach to the game, but Nessa Elendil and Taunya Skursky are very solid players as well. The big question remains in the net where Daniella Riskin has made huge bounds in her abilities through a relentless training program. The opposition will now find it much harder to score on the Unicorns. But do not expect the defense to be able to slow down our first opponents too much. TnUI should be far superior to what we can manage just yet. BUT that only means it will be a massive upset after we leave their place with 3 points.

The reserves now have some actual experience and Sixta Nomay could possibly even move into the starting line-up before this thing is done. Nessa and Taunya will have to play at a very high level in order to keep their spots for the duration of the qualifiers.

The Queen looked over the members of the squad one final time. Now she was ready - were they? The plane was landing. She would soon find out.

Virginia Nova 4
Marion Oaks 2 1

NOVA RICHMOND- Virginia Nova's WC30 Qualifying stage got underway today,with a dominating freindly Against Newcomer Marion Oaks 2.The Game was played at night, the National Stadium of Virginia Nova;Ukrops Stadium. The Fun got started at 2:30 into the game when Jimmy Hellios sent one in past the MO2 Goalie. anothe oppurtunity happend when Hellios passed one to Adam Neppi,only to have it go Wide right. At 10:19 MO2 got on the board with a beutiful bender by midfielder Jamison Kirchenphad. The second Eagle Goal was scored by Harold Freemont. Freemont Scored on a penelty kick at 22:23. Marion Oaks almost scored another goal but Alex Potter maneged to block it. Freemont got the final Goal before half,when He scoed after an assist from The "Assist King" Jimmy Hellios. and at Half the score was VAN 3 MO2 1. most of the second was the Eagles Playing Keep-away,but Adam Neppi did score on a penelty Kick and brought the score to 4-1. this would be the final score as no-one else scored.

Up next for the Eagles is The Yaforites of Yafor 2. This team we expect to give us fits ,as we believe theese guy could have a chance at Qualifying.

MD1 Island of Ishtar-Northern Caesarea

MD2 Northern Caesarea-Turori (Nou Estadi, Berenguer, 100.000)

MD3 Northern Caesarea-Sarzonia (Estadio Nacional, Azaña, 150.000)

MD4 Elves Security Forces-Northern Caesarea (Donna Cathedral, Mar Sara, 43.000)

MD5 Allocer-Northern Caesarea

MD6 Farstra-Northern Caesarea

MD7 Northern Caesarea-Kaze Progreesa (Estadio Nacional, Azaña, 150.000)

MD8 Northern Caesarea-Island of Ishtar (Txoriko Kiroldegi, Arana, 50.000)

MD9 Northern Caesarea-Turori

MD10 Sarzonia-Northern Caesarea

MD11 Nothern Caesarea-Elves Security Forces (Nou Estadi. Berenguer, 100.000)

MD12 Northern Caesarea-Allocer (Estadio Dinamo, Sanjuan, 25.000)

MD13 Northern Caesarea-Farstra (Al-Azahara Stadium, Azahara, 20.000)

MD14 Kaze Progreesa-Northern Caesarea

OOC MD0 I have confirmed vs Dorian and Sonya
And E. i got you confirmed MD 7.5

Manager Jody Shawl was sitting at his desk. He looked quite disturbed and perplexed. He started talking to himself....

"What am I going to do with this team? Suddenly, we can not score and can not keep from conceding. If Karela had anything that resembled attack, we would have gone 4-0 down to them too. That's it, it's time for drastic measures!"

With that he laid out his new formation. A 5-4-1. Thankfully, Josh Pop was fully recovered from his injury in the Karela match. He entered the lineup for the first World Cup match on the official card v Chicanada:

Seruss-- Niece, Tinley, Cam, Pop, Billiot -- Bodle, Melland, Pavin (c, set pieces), Hartney -- Marayan (pens)

Capitalizt SLANI and 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) have both announced their schedules for World Cup 30 qualifying:

Capitalizt SLANI Stadium, City [capacity]
MD01: vs The Doja Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center [73 918]
MD02: at Swilatia
MD03: at Qazox Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg [90 000]
MD04: vs Toranat Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt [127 202]
MD05: vs Tadjikistan Sokojito Überdome, 소코지토 도시 (Sokojito Dosi) [400 552]
MD06: vs The Mice of Miceland JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo [128 400]
MD07: at Raging Penguins
MD08: at The Doja
MD09: vs Swilatia Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag [107 596]
MD10: vs Qazox CDA Stadium, New Seoul [173 205]
MD11: at Toranat
MD12: at Tadjikistan
MD13: at The Mice of Miceland
MD14: vs Raging Penguins Capitalizm, 유포 (ʼYupo) [161 803]

자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) Stadium, City [capacity]
MD01: vs Bazalonia JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo [128 400]
MD02: at Champlaign
MD03: at System Karela
MD04: vs Ropa-Topia Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt [127 202]
MD05: vs Dance 2 Revolution Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag [107 596]
MD06: vs Rejistania Sokojito Überdome, 소코지토 도시 (Sokojito Dosi) [400 552]
MD07: at Geisenfried
MD08: at Bazalonia
MD09: vs Champlaign Cirto Seaside Stadium, Cirto [62 000]
MD10: vs System Karela Cliff Broquard Stadium, Commerce Heights [135 000]*
MD11: at Ropa-Topia
MD12: at Dance 2 Revolution
MD13: at Rejistania
MD14: vs Geisenfried CDA Stadium, New Seoul [173 205]
*This stadium is extremely old and is falling apart. It is hoped that the
Karelans will not attack the structure, and it will remain standing until
after the match. Only 5 000 people will be permitted to attend the match.

While both associations are still officially open to friendly proposals for the so-called “Matchday 7.5,” there are rumors that the teams intend to play each other.

Wentland FA Press Release

Team for opening game of the World Cup

Goal:
12 Merv Gilbert

Defence:
14 Ian Talbot
4 Blake Wright
5 Joe Callaghan
17 Bertie Tanner

Midfield:
7 Tom Devey
10 Joe Weston
11 Cosmo Kent

Forwards:
22 Norman Cooper
9 Andrew Saint
21 Tommy Barnes

Location: The Garrison, Royal Heath

***

Playing up to the home crowd Barnes had selected all the Royal Heath players. They'd get the fans on their side, none of this "Barnes Out!" nonsense.

But if they lost to Marion Oakes...a crucial game already.

The Schiavone Scribe
SSF Identify Mystery Team

The Schiavone Scribe tonight announced that they know who the team that claimed to be Tynelia who played against Qazox actually were.

Tynelia cancelled the friendly, but the SFF, who were organising the games, didn't catch on, and so the game allegedly took place. But it wasn't Qazox against Tynelia at all.

In fact, the game took place in a field in North-Western Schiavonia between a heard of eleven oxen and a group of local farmers that the SFF kitted up in Tynelia kits.

Why did they do it? SFF Chief Harvey Alfredo explains. "We sent a delegate out to Qazox for the game, but when he came back and told us that the game wasn't taking place... well, it messed our nice scoresheet up. So we felt we had to make up for it somehow."

The game itself was watched by eight people, three oxen, a donkey and a stray sheep. You couldn't really call it entertaining. But then, you couldn't call it football, considering that we don't think football has reached these areas of Schiavonia yet.

The official score was declared as "Match Postponed". None of the games on Matchday One were postponed, though, and the scores can be seen here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11560514#post11560514).

KFA SIXTIETH ANNIVERSARY UNIFORMS: JMC PROTOCOLS

HOME UNIFORMS: To be worn in ALL home games.

CHANGE UNIFORMS: To be worn in ALL away games, unless the opponents are playing in a shade of blue or a clashing dark colour (ie purple, black).

THIRD UNIFORMS: To be used ONLY in away games where the opponents are playing in a shade of blue or a clashing dark colour (ie purple, black).

Elven Times
Early Set Back

No one said it was going to be easy. No one thought they would lose to Demot in the friendly. And now no one knows what to expect of the team after a three to one drubbing away in Turori. The defence which had steadily been progresing under assistant coach Michael Revtron, looked shaky through out the match. And despite saving 10 shots, St. Louis still allowed three in. The offence had it's chances, but were only able to convert once.

It was a gritty game at the start. Our side was determined to show that they are not just pretenders. They showed exuberance and excelent play the whole first half, and onto the early second half. This was no more evident than when Ceullar and Night performed a classic give and go that sprung the talented young woman. Just inside the penalty box, she faked hard to her right, and the criss crossed back to her left and tap the ball into the net.

Yet the team once again failed to hold the lead, giving up a goal right before half off of a corner. Then in the 67th minute and 73rd, Turori whipped their way through the defence and netted goals.

"I don't know what happened out there. We were soo confident and excited to resume such glorious competition. And to start off like that is just disheartening. I'm ashamed that my fellow defencemen and me were not able to help Martin. I gurentee next time it will be a different result." Dwier Titenburg said in a post game conference.

Friend's Watch
Cuation somehow only managed to draw with Lisburn Mateys
Haraki was stunned at home 3-1 by McPsychoville
Becquerelia survived a scare 3-2 over Kericia

Article By Ron Santapa

Spindomia Beaten. Just!
Rage rescues Starblaydia with goal

Phew. That's the one word that can sum up Starblaydia's performance from this match. Starblaydia, starting with very few of their usual eleven, were woeful in front of goal, with both Lawrence Asante and Charles Barron both misfiring in with the ball at their feet. Added to this was a man-of-the-match performance from Spins' goalie Chez Clarke, all proving to frustrate Starblaydia's attempts to score.

Eventually it was the Captain, Durum Rage, who pulled Starblaydia back from the brink of an embarrasing nil-nil draw, though 1-0 against the 131st-ranked team in the world is shameful enough, really. Onwards to Nikea!

Group Six
P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Bettia 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
AwalKB 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
Tynelia 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
Starblaydia 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
Nikea 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Wrecker 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Spindomia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Montegrande 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

Final Score from Spindomia:
Spindomia 0 - 1 Starblaydia
(None) - (Rage 72)

OOC:Actually You will be playing us on Week 5(we are the team withe th Url all messed up;) )

What do you mean? Do I need to change my schedule?

Demot Daily ~ And They Are Off

Traveling to Palixia, the team was looking to start it's run off right. Already scoring a nice victory in a friendly with the elves and a modest 4th place run in the BoF, the team had some momentum to lead them ahead into the qualifyers. Yet there was some concern, winning on the the road is an extremely difficult feat in this sport. So the three to one victory comes as a small suprise, but not unwelcomed.

"Ah that was great. Our defence was spectacular, espicially Lucas. She is a shining star on that back line and I am quite please to have her on my side. The Masteron commands the mid field with that poise of champions. His dedication to the squad makes me really proud. I expect him to someday be leading the squad as manager. And then the killer lasses and their night on as strikers. What can I say, I lucked out into getting such a fine squad. With Frontson, Ysman and Black all scoring, it really shows how well we work as a unit. Hopefully we can continue this strong play and put on a show for the nation."

Dogood's words hold true. The squad perform quite well, with Whitehurse just allowing the one goal on six shots. Masteron and Lucas really played well, each conotrolling it's unit with grace and style. Then all three of the strikers found the back of the net. Too bad our friends in the ESF were not as lucky as the fell to Turori by the same score we won.

Looking into the group, Bostopia was demolished by Quackmybush, four love. The commies in Hockey Canada confused the monks with a 3-1 schilaking. And the giant veggies made salad out of maggots, with a brutal four to one scoreline. The days events put our side tied for third in the table.

Scorers
Samantha Black - 1
Sarah Ysman - 1
Justin Frontson - 1

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

Post-Game Press Release--

The Red Lions came on to the field today against Rordia with high hopes. This is the first World Cup game Lylybium has participated in and as such, Lylybium expected a good showing. The Rordians however, apparently planned the opposite coming to the field with a very strong showing.

The match today was very intense, every time it seemed Lylybium would score, Rordia took the chance away, the Red Lions proved there defense however, when Rordia would get close. This resulted in two very tired teams after the winner was determined.

The only point succesfully scored in the entire game was made by Rordia, resulting in a 1-0 score. While this is not what Lylybium expected, we did make a good effort and were able to show ourselves on the big-screen in front of the whole NSWorld. Coach Roberts stated that while he did not win the game he did manage to get the team to cooperate better than any previous game. This is a good thing, the team is becoming more familiar with itself and will hopefully continue to show improvement.

The next match will be against Los Mexico and we expect a better scoreboard after the match on that day. Until then though, this match will live in Lylybiumnite history.

FINAL SCORE:
Lylybium 0- Rordia 1

Harlesburg Stuffed

Paladins romp 5-0 in home opener as civilization arrives in Laval

LAVAL - The grand opening of Laval's new professional football stadium, La Metropolitaine, went off flawlessly last night. Laval's mayor, the eccentric Orville E. Wehrmachtstadtstrasse, delivered a fifteen-minute speech calling on the fans to "protest the protests against the protesting of protests of beach volleyball at the late Olympics" which ended when the Minister of Morale "accidentally" tripped and disconnected the wires connecting Hizzoner's microphones. A brief invocation was then delivered by His Eminence Archbishop Anicletus the Mumbler, Archbishop of Laval, who called upon God to "(something something) protect (something) defend (something) us from (something) those who (something something something) do not (something) unto (something) (something that sounded like "asparagus.") After this stirring benediction, it was time to play some football, and for all their other major failures and personality defects, the elders of Laval certainly had managed to land a doozy of a match - the first official matchday of qualification for the Paladins, featuring a visit from 77th-ranked Harlesburg.

The States came out gunning, the crowd cheering the arrival of the Blue and Silver and the return of international football to Laval for the first time since the 16th Cup of Harmony. Gilles Villeneuve, apparently determined to tell the naysayers who pronounced his career doomed "where they can stick it," opened the scoring a mere three minutes into play, and things went down from there for the Harlesbourgeois.

87 minutes later, the Paladins had poured four more goals into the net, and the townsfolk and leaders of Laval retired to their homes, secure in the knowledge that the States had managed to put their failure at the DI behind them, at least for one night. Five hours later, the entire stadium collapsed into a giant sinkhole, slightly injuring one solitary wino who had snuck in to sleep on the heated benches provided to the teams (continued on page 3)

PALADINS 5 - Villeneuve 3, 19, F. Labranche 30, Corcoran 49, Briscoe 85
HARLESBURG 0

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 3
Briscoe 1
Corcoran 1
Faulkner 1
F. Labranche 1

Winchestia Channel ThreeSport Presents:
Winchestia v Chicanada Extended Highlights

Welcome to our recap of the Winchestia v Chicanada from the Winchestia National Stadium in Wendle, now out to our match commentators, John Morton and Eli Savage:

<joined in the 2nd minute>

"And there's a bad foul from the Chicanada #3 on Bodle near the edge of the area. Pavin steps up to take it....AND IT'S IN!!! WINCHESTIA HAVE THEIR DREAM START AND IT'S 1-0!!"

"Amazing free kick from the master, Levi Pavin. Look at how the ball just bent beyond the fingertips of the Chicanadian keeper."

<5th minute>
"And Now Hartney on the right wing in this unusual 5-4-1 for Winchestia. He beats a defender and crosses in the area.....MARAYAN HEADS HOME!!!!! 2-0!!! YOU COULD NOT HAVE SCRIPTED THIS ANY BETTER. WINCHESTIA LEADS WC29 QUALIFIERS 2-0 WITHIN 5 MINUTES!

<25th minute>
"Chicanada with the ball in the Winchestian half, surprising this is one of their first attacks...ohhhhhh....Tinley takes their center-forward down hard with a crunching tackle. The ref's coming over, surely a booking...no it's RED! Winchestia now down to 10-men! Tinley, how could you?!"

<43rd minute>
"Chicanada from a corner: Winchestia can't seem to get it clear....and it's in the back of the net. It appears as though it might be an own goal on Chris Niece. Not much he can do, he was trying to clear the ball behind, mishit it and it goes straight through to the net. 2-1.

<45th minute>
"Perhaps time for one more attack from Winchestia...no, the ref whistles for half-time. Well, it really was a tale of 2 different matches in the first half, Winchestia getting off to a dream start before Tinley's Red and Niece's own goal. What do you think Eli? Can Winchestia bounce back?"

"Well there is no denying Chicanada's quality, but I think we just might get all three here if we just concentrate on getting the job done. Our midfield has been dominant, and really we are back to 4 defenders and 4 midfielders now, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem"

We'll be back with the second-half right after this
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
For Pride. For Country. For A Chance At Glory.

See the AOKCC tournament only on Winchestia Channel ThreeSport. Every Chase Until The Final. Watch, or the Law Will Get YOUUUUUUUU.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
And we're back with our extended highlights of tonights match. Back out to Wendle:

<46th minute>
"No changes from either side to start the second half, and there is the kickoff!"

<67th minute>
"Chicanada had really dominated possesion thus far in the second half, the Mikey Town midfield has really tired out. And here's a chance for their winger, goes in on goal...but Seruss smothers the ball. Nice play by the keeper."

<74th minute>
"You feel the equalizer is coming. The crowd desperately trying to keep the ball out of the Cooks half to no avail. A long cross in for their center forward...goal! There it is, and now we must defend for a point. 2-2.

<88th minute>
"Nine men behind the ball for Winchestia, hold on for their first World Cup point. Free kick from just inside the Winchestian half. Taken long, into the area, a shot....and a spectacular save by Nick Seruss might have saved a point. It goes out for a corner."

<90+3rd minute>
"This is surely the last attack for Chicanada. 10-man Winchestia have been very brave tonight. Crossed in from the left, Seruss has it! He kicks it long, and there is the whistle. 2-2! The crowd celebrates Winchestia's first point in the World CUp, but really it could have been so much more tonight."

"It's that Taylor Tinley again. We had this match well in control until his silly foul. Still, brave result for Winchestia against a very good side. Indeed, I think we've dominated the first 30 minutes or so. A good result to build on for the future."

Well there you have it, a good result for Winchestia tonight, a 2-2 draw against WC29 qualifiers Chicanada. Stay tuned for WPL Season 15 preview show, next only on your sport leader: Winchestia Channel ThreeSport. Goodnight.

To D2R: Since you didn't have a roster posted, I referred to your one from WC29. If there are any problems, feel free to TG me.

Konigseifert Chronicle
Geisenfried Chokes Offensively in Opener
Golden Eagles seek to make up 1-0 loss in next match.

As the qualifiers of World Cup 30 began today, Geisenfried started off on the wrong foot, as the men in front totally stumbled on offense, failing to make any good shots and not scoring a goal. Meanwhile, Dance 2 Revolution did all it needed to, scoring one goal to put itself ahead and maintaining that lead to get a 1-0 final score, putting Geisenfried behind to start off qualifiers.

The first half of the match was pretty non-entertaining, with Geisenfried's defense making up for it's horrific offensive performance, complete with bad passes, horribly timed crosses, and shots from areas that shouldn't be shot from. The second half began with more of the same, but towards the 70th minute, Dance 2 Revolution made most of an opportunity, allowing the D2R striker Fredrik Van Hujkdel to get the ball past goalie Kurt Ackermann to send the game to 1-0. Manager Hancock tried to revive the offense in the end with some reinforcing, but by then, the D2R team had shut tight, and the Golden Eagles failed to score at all.

After the match, Hancock seemed slightly sour but calm enough. "Am I disappointed? You bet. Our offense limped like a dead animal out there. What happened to the performance I saw against Sarzonia? Did it go all to their heads? I'm making sure that this doesn't happen again, or we'll have no chance of scoring against the 9-man defense of System Karela."

When asked what he thought Geisenfried's chances were now, Hancock replied with this statement. "While I can't say I'm satisfied with what we did today, there's still 13 games left and many chances to pull out the necessary victories. What we need to do is simply pull ourselves up back on to two sturdy feet and continue on by learning from our mistakes."

Geisenfried 0
Dance 2 Revolution 1
Van Hujkdel (D2R) 69'
No cards awarded.
Baehr (MF) -> Kander (ST) 72', Canitz (MF) -> Kleihm (ST) 72'
Formation Change from 4-5-1 to 4-3-3 in 72nd minute

Geisenfried's next match will be their home opener for the WC30 qualifiers, against the ultra-defensive System Karela. Geisenfried's offense must warm up for that game, or the chances of them scoring a goal are zero to none.

Schedule:
Dance 2 Revolution 1-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? System Karela
Geisenfried ?-? Champlaign
Rejistania ?-? Geisenfried
Bazalonia ?-? Geisenfried
Ropa-Topia ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Commerce Heights JSY
Geisenfried ?-? Dance 2 Revolution
System Karela ?-? Geisenfried
Champlaign ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Rejistania
Geisenfried ?-? Bazalonia
Geisenfried ?-? Ropa-Topia
Commerce Heights JSY ?-? Geisenfried
Home games in Red, Away in Black

Name W L D PT GF GA GDF
Rejistania 1 0 0 3 3 0 +3
Bazalonia 1 0 0 3 3 1 +2
Ropa-Topia 1 0 0 3 2 0 +2
Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 0 3 1 0 +1
Geisenfried 0 1 0 0 0 1 -1
Commerce Heights JSY 0 1 0 0 1 3 -2
Champlaign 0 1 0 0 0 2 -2
System Karela 0 1 0 0 0 3 -3

A Draw for the Emirate.

The ALM National Team faced its first gauntlet since the BoF and managed to secure a draw with Sliponia. With a final score 2-2, the game started slowly, with possession being handled primarly by Sliponia, which scored the first goal in the 13th minute [#10 - RS Jason Finley]. The National Team held out strong despite this drop and trudged on to secure the midfield. In the 37th minute, a foul was called against the Emirate, for roughness, and the ensuing kick nearly resulted in a goal. However, for the remainder of the half, the game remained slow and calm.

Starting the second half, the Emirate became more aggressive and managed to pressure the Sliponia team harder with deep drives and two shots on goal in the 56th minute. Finally, in the 61st minute, ALM scored its first goal [F - Saif Abd al-Karim [10]], coming off a corner kick. The game continued to be dominated by the ALM, scoring another goal in the 74th minute [M - Sulayman ibn Najib [07]]. However, just in the 76th minute, at the climax of the game, a foul by Karim Mustafa [D - [04]] resulted in a red card, and turned the tide almost immediately, as Sliponia managed to score the equalizer in the 79th minute. For the rest of the game, the two sides were even, as they were tired and the result seemed to please many people.

Head coach Malik Al Misri had his comments about the draw after the match: "This is a young team, and while they could have done better in some aspects, they held their own ground against a team that is seeded higher than our own. Granted, a draw won't win us anything in the long run, but who knows? These boys have plenty of potential and this first World Cup is just the experience that they need to keep up and get up in the ranks and in the World Cup."

Goalkeeper Yusuf Ibrahim [01] also had comments: "I was shocked after the first shot went past my head, and I probably should have caught it, but after that I had a feeling for the type of shots that they had and I clearly made an improvement. Unfortunately, that last shot was too good and I'll have to admit that I don't think that I would have ever caught that one. I'm only too glad that I didn't let anything else by."

Forward Saif Abd al-Karim [10] replied to several questions about his scoring ability, seeing a relative drought in his stellar performance renowned in the Emirate: "I'll have to admit that the quality here is much better than at home, and here, I have a challenge to get the ball past the half-point, and to get the ball into the 18-yard box. I did managed to score once, and I hope to score more, but this is all a wonderful experience and I only hope to please my fans at home. Allah Al Muhsin, As Salaam Alakium!"

The current World Cup record is 0-1-0, with one point to progress the ALM team to 4th place in Group 2 matches.

Lineups:
Sel Appa
Goalkeeper:
01-KASHCHENKO Vasily
Defenders:
03-QRIF Qa
06-APPLE Bernard
08-CHANG Fo
Midfielders:
10-LATORTUE Jacques
11-PATETTE Colin
14-MATOU Theo
Forwards:
16-DUBROV Alan
19-REHSOM Lee
20-ESTEVEZ(Captain)
21-NART Alex


Casari
19 Nina Leir F Prescott FC 24 LF WC29
34 Scott Edmonds M West Baronies SC 25 CF WC29
78 Kyle Reimar M Shelby FC 25 RF WC29
4 James Leriani M Cornerian 29 FM WC28-29
7 Cid Awisan M Tyrellia City 24 LM WC29
5 Anna Eri F Tyrellia City 23 RM WC29
84 Will Seirori M Presscot FC 25 HB WC29
66 Will Samson M Tyrellia City 32 LB WC27-29
43 Scott Nermeier M Factory Row SC 30 CB WC27-29
72 Cari Alls F Winton Market SC 25 RB WC29
2 Mina Darcosi F Presscot FC 25 GK WC29

Sel Appa's first match in the NS World Cup 30 qualifiers was a bad start for the team's first attempt. Indeed, the 1-3 scorline did not bode well. Casari was a much better team and certainly should have won. The unexpected happening was Sel Appa scoring the first goal. As the teams entered the pitch, the crowd cheered louder for the Casari team. However, many people cheered for underdog Sel Appa. In one area of the stadium, a Sel Appan flag was made out of fans' attire.

The first fifteen minutes were uneventful with the ball returning back and forth across the pitch, neither side gaining much ground. But in the 16th minute, Sel Appa's star striker ESTEVEZ and his attack partner NART Alexander broke a hole in the Casari defense and ESTEVEZ shot the ball straight over the Casari keeper's head and into the net. However, within four minutes of that goal, Casari striker LEIR Nina surprised The Turtle's goalie with an equalizer that appeared to go straight through him. The scoreline remained at 1-1 at Half Time. Two yellow cards had been dealt out, one to Sel Appa's CHANG Fo for handling the ball and one to Casari's LERIANI James for tripping Sel Appa's MATOU Theo.

The second half saw two more goals by Casari. ERI Anna and EDMONDS Scott in the 62nd and 83rd minute. Both times, the Casari attack proved too strong for Sel Appa's slow, untested defense. At Full Time, the scoreline rested Sel Appa 1-3 Casari. Sel Appa's team did not expect to win this first match, but was much esteemed with their quick first goal.

Quakmybush Win

The Quakmybush Sharks began their World Cup 30 qualifying run today. The team dominated Bostopia, and defeated them 4-0. The team still had thoughts of Owen Targreeev who was still in a Quakmybush hospital, but the show must go on, and it did. In the 2nd minute of the game Jon Fields let a cannon go from the top of the box. The Bostopian keeper didnt have a chance in the world. Then in the 29th minute Quakmybush made it 2-0 with a Cory Sorley goal. Half time game and went with Ryan Fret being substituted off for Chris Bricking. The move payed off almost immediatly when Bricking scored in the 49th minute. The game was winding down when Fields got hauled down in the box, he made no mistake making the score 4-0, and that's how the game ended.Next up the Sharks are set to face Ten Thousand Maggots, who lost to Giant Zucchini 4-1. Other results were Hockey Canada 3, The Archregmancy 1, and Demot 3, Palixia 1.

Bostopia W 4-0
at Ten Thousand Maggots
at Hockey Canada
Giant Zucchini
Palixia
The Archregimancy
at Demot
at Bostopia
Ten Thousand Maggots
Hockey Canada
at Giant Zucchini
at Palixia
at The Archregmancy
Demot

Scorers
Jon Fields - 2
Cory Sorely - 1
Chris Bricking - 1

Group 10 Table

GP W T L PTS GF GA GD
Quakmybush (46)1 1 0 0 3 4 0 4
Giant Zucchini (54) 1 1 0 0 3 4 1 3
Hockey Canada (10) 1 1 0 0 3 3 1 2
Demot (142) 1 1 0 0 3 3 1 2
Palixia (UR) 1 0 0 1 0 1 3 -2
The Archregmancy (25) 1 0 0 1 0 1 3 -2
Ten Thousand Maggots (204) 1 0 0 1 0 1 4 -3
Bostopia (126) 1 0 0 1 0 0 4 -4

Az-cz Scroll
August 18, 2006
The Candrian Empire
Il-Lur

Az-cz barely escape with three points

Apparently the spat of friendlies took its toll on the participants. Neither Starblaydia nor Az-cz looked sharp in their openers. Both teams struggled more than they should against lesser opponents but both teams had just enough quality to get through. For Starblaydia that meant the captain finding a goal and for Az-cz it meant Pizelkaxrovsky once again saving the day.
Az-cz came out supremely confident having beaten The Candrian Empire by scorelines of 2-0 and 3-0 in the Baptism of Fire. And they pressed the attack early, leading to good shots for Bub-Rub and Stanleyinho, who looked almost 100%. However the Candrian Empire keeper made a number of nice stops.
They continued to try to push through, but simply couldn't break through with a goal and Candrian Empire started to gain confidence that they might earn a result. And eventually they even found a way to get into the back of the Az-cz defense and force some tough saves from Gn-Lg.
At halftime Levesque made some interesting subs. He took off Bn-Dg for Az-If and brought on At-Zm for Nerazzuri to try to get a bit more push from the back. Try as they might though, they just couldn't break the Candrian Empire goal.
Finally in the 81st minute Az-cz found the goal that would get them the three points. Zax-Im won the ball to Pizelkaxrovsky. He made a run to get around a couple of defenders. He swung the ball wide to At-Zm who quickly channeled it back to Pizelkaxrovsky. He then made a wicked curling shot that the keeper had no chance to stop.
From there Az-cz was just holding on for dear life. They couldn't get a second goal but kept The Candrian Empire from getting any more good chances.
Az-cz picked up the necessary three points, but with the next game against Anathematic Republics they will have to play much better to earn a result.

Statistics
Goals Az-cz 1 Candrian Empire 0
Scorers 81 Pizelkaxrovsky
Possession Az-cz 54% Candrian Empire 46%
Shots Az-cz 11 Candrian Empire 10
Corners Az-cz 1 Candrian Empire 1

Virginia Nova Scorers key Points against Y 2


The game was a tie buit For VN it ment much,much more. VN Tied Yafor 2 today at MD1 of WWC30 Qauali's. The games was played in atrocuois muddy conditions. In fact no-one scored in the first. The only Scoring came in 49:10-55:13. When A Yaforite Middie scored and Harold Freemont scored on a penelty Kick. Other than that it was a boring game


Eagles
(Freemont) 55:13

Yafooriites
(Midfielder) 49:10

MC: Congratulations to the team on winning their first world cup qualifier. Joining us today are coach Levesque, captain Zax-Im and Man of the match Pizelkaxrovsky.

Levesque: Well, we got three points. But in all honesty I'm not too pleased. We struggled against a team that we need to be beating easily. If we play like that against Anathematic Republics we won't be earning any points.

Az-cz reporter 1: What do you think was the problem today? Tired from the friendlies?

Pizelkaxrovsky: We weren't tired. We just didn't play well. There's no excuse for it.

Az-cz reporter 2: Does this performance mean any changes are coming?

Levesque: I'm displeased but I'm not going to panic. For the time being nothing's going to change.

Az-cz reporter 3: How do you feel about Stanleyinho's play today?

Levesque: He's getting there. He's still not quite 100% fitness, but I don't think that's to blame for the play today.

Az-cz reporter 4: How do you plan to adjust for Anathematic Republics?

Levesque: We'll watch the video and try to find weaknesses we can exploit. Hopefully we can control the midfield, our strength, and use that to beat them. Ideally we'd like to control the game. The best teams make other teams play there style, rather than trying to change from game to game.

Az-cz reporter 5: What's the mood amongst the players at this point?

Zax-Im: Determined. We're not looking to quietly slip out of this tournament. We want to make our presence felt.

Az-cz reporter 6: Did any of the results from other group games suprise you?

Levesque: Well San Haven earning a draw against Nebuleux was a suprise. Hopefully it means that Nebuleux is ripe for a taking.

Candrian Empire reporter: After the third time facing us, what are your thoughts?

Levesque: You played much better today. You'll probably earn some points in this group. We just hope that none of them come against us on the return leg in Az-cz.

MC: Alright, last question.

Az-cz reporter 7: What is most important to get the offense flowing again?

Levesque: Well better play clearly. But specifically I'd say we need to get our forwards going. Pizelkaxrovsky is clearly still playing well and I'd say Kn-Dg is fine too, but the service from them to the strikers and the finishing will need to improve.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/DSFemalesMedia.jpg

Unicorns Fall to TnUI In Close Match

Queen Sonya Sabre had been awaiting the start of WC30. This was a make or break competition for the Mystical Unicorns. Two horrid campaigns had almost canned the whole deal, but the Queen had decided to send the Unicorns one more time to see how things would go.

Then the draw had been announced and the Queen knew that the test would come very early as the Unicorns traveled to TnUI on MD1. A very tough test indeed. This match would surely tell her everything she needed to know about how well the Unicorns had prepared for this WC qualification.

And the Mystical Unicorns had passed the MD1 test. Sure the squad had lost as most of the footballing world had guessed would happen. But there are much worse things than a 1-2 loss against a side with the rich tradition of TnUI.

The match had started very slow as both sides were looking to find the holes in the other’s defense. And there were few of those to find. In fact it would take the #19 squad in the world until the 41st minute to take the lead on an impressive shot from way outside the box. Daniella Riskin had made a bad choice in positioning and was unable to see the shot until it was far too late to react.

The second half would show just as little in the way of scoring opportunities as the first until Zana Jablon found the back of the net on a Avril Auserwald cross in the 87th minute. But that was not quite enough as TnUI threw everyone forward and got their winning goal with just seconds left in the match.

The result was better than expected. TnUI had to fight hard for the win. Queen Sonya was more than pleased with the result. That meant she should see some very good results as the Unicorns made their way home to face Unranked Socialist Romanistan and then #11 Fmjphoenix.

In other news from Group 11
Fmjphoenix dropped Khenas 1-0
The Colony of Delaware and KCToker battled to a 1-1 draw
One Red Dot crushed Socialist Romanistan 3-0

See you all again tomorrow.

"So, you do have the manual for this, right?" Jay said, tilting his head and staring at the screen.

"Yeah, it's right here. Why do you need it, we're just entering names." Rob said, messing with the controller.

"Because, I was going to beat you mercilessly with it." Jay said, yawning. "They're just names, hurry up already."

"Fine, fine." Rob said, quickly finishing the names. "Ok, backstory. Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip."

"So not only are we playing a decades-old Roleplaying game, we're not overly sure what we should be doing."

"Shut up." Rob said, manipulating the small train of characters around the screen. "I'll just wonder around until someone tells me."

Jay watched silently for a moment. "No, don't go down, that's the way out of the town."

"Oh please, what could hap-" Rob said, blinking. "Shit, what happened?"

"It's a random battle, don't you know anything? Give me the controller. You're such a n00b sometimes." Jay said. "Ok... let's see... meh, might as well attack."

"Nice strategy."

The little characters, with a few glorious sounding 8-bit sound effects, began the little fight sequence with rabid enthusiasm. However, they didn't really do much.

Rob blinked. "Well, that was truly an experience. You didn't even kill one."

"Shut your hole." Jay said, watching the screen as the tiny soccer hooligan threw a lit flare at a player, to see the player fall to the ground. "... ok, fine. Maybe not the best strategy. Why are we even playing this in the first place?"

"Because, it's so bad it's good." Rob said. "Use the Orange Slices, they'll heal him."

"Orange Slices?"

"Yeah, you know, like players have at halftime."

Jay let out a slight shudder at the thought. "Man, what were these people thinking." Jay said, putting in commands.

"What the hell is Slidtkle?"

"Do I look like I'd know?" Jay said. "I'm not the expert here." He said, watching the first sprite run across the screen and viscously slide-tackle his opponent. The Hooligan fell down and ws vanquished. A little victory music played.

Jay lost his will to live a bit.

"Can we at least see how the game went today?"

"You think you're getting out of this that easily. We won 3-1, now keep going south." Rob said, biting on a fingernail.

"You don't know where we're going."

"I do. You just fell asleep while I was finding out."

Jay let out a deep sigh. Inwardly, he wished that the people who had developed this game had suffered a painful, gruesome death. Or, alternately, Rob died a painful, gruesome death on the way here. Or he died a painful, gruesome death before Rob got there. There were a number of possibilites, many of them resulting in the painful, gruesome death of someone who could be to blame in his current situation.

"You know, I wouldn't be particularly adverse to this house burning to the ground right now." Jay said in a false lighthearted tone.

"Yes you would, because you know everyone would blame you."

* Funky rap music *

Dazza: Good morning, I'm Dazza Dallas!
Rachel: And I'm Rachel Kool
Dazza: And THIS IS THE FIRST EDITION OF THE FOOTBALL LIFE
Rachel: It's not JGN Sports News, it's The Football Life

Dazza: Yes, it's all about football - or soccer to some
Rachel: We're here at the World Cup 30 or triple X cup
Dazza: And we have funky new dresses
Rachel: We're World Cup xXx babes, because you folks at home seem to like us ... well a lot

Dazza: Round 1 is finished and we're pleased to say - normal service
Rachel: And may I remind viewers my co-host Dazza plays for the Jeruselem team so she knows what goes on during the game
Dazza: Except, I sat all day on the bench today. A hard day's work in the office harassing the reserve keeper, the womanly way.
Rachel: You want to here all about the results? Here they are!


Group Eight
United Island Empires 2 - 1 Delesa
Cataduanes 3 - 1 The Greatest Crap
Wentland 4 - 1 Marion Oaks 2
Jeruselem 4 - 0 Marceau State


Group Ten
Hockey Canada 3 - 1 The Archregimancy

Group Thirteen
Anathematic Republics 1 - 2 Nedalia

Dazza: Firstly, Jeruselem got off the right start. The Frenchy team called Marceau State got run over by a Jeruselem determined to show it's not here to be boring. You wanted goals? Jeruselem delivered four. OK, we played like crap early, but that's normal when you play your first game.
Rachel: Harry's team off to the right start. New captain Penny Gadget is showing she is not just a pretty face on the football field. No Penny Handi, Women's World Cup 3 captain or Debbie Dallas, World Cup 29 captain.
Dazza: I wanted some of the action, but maybe next time
Rachel: Don't worry, Dazza. Harry was just testing the formations.

Dazza: In the other games. Our friends from Wentland trashed the Marion Oaks 2 team 4-1. The folks from Wentland off the best start you get. Looks like that will be the ones to watch.
Rachel: Awegame game from Wentland team. We think they will qualify because they can and we think they will.
Dazza: We don't mind them following us around
Rachel: As long as we beat them of course.

Dazza: Cataduanes played a, well, crap team and won. Cataduanes beat a team called The Greatest Crap
Rachel: Well, that team lived up to it's name. Cataduanes played like it should and not like crap.
Dazza: I can see some other networks making these bad jokes, really.
Rachel: Well, we like our entertainment value for our viewers. We're blondes - we're allowed to make bad jokes.
Dazza: Actually, faux blondes but I don't think the viewers care.

Rachel: The two unknowns for Jeruselem played. United Island Empires took on Delesa, the more united team won. The Imperial team prevailed 2-1
Dazza: Interesting game. These teams aren't as attacking as us and Wentland but maybe a good defense from these teams
Rachel: Wentland and us will test these team's defenses
Dazza: Dazza will give it a shake or two

Rachel: The might Lions!
Dazza: That's the Nedalian Lions, but not Bedistan folks. Bedistan need no introduction.
Rachel: They got off the right start once again
Dazza: A shaky but definite win over Anathematic Republics. TWO ONE to the Lions.
Rachel: Yes, I think they can qualify provided they beat off the challengers and hold their own against the best team in their Group
Dazza: I think the team without Nene can it. They don't need Nene to save them now, the younger generation should pull the Lions out of the fire.

Rachel: BIG game, Canucks against the Monks
Dazza: That's Hockey Canada against The Archregimancy for the people out there
Rachel: Looks like the big hockey sticks won out against the Orthordox team. Canucks won 3-1 and the Monks lose to the better team on the day.
Dazza: I'm sure the Monks will rebound like they do.
Rachel: And the Canucks will qualify. Beating the Monks like that means you are a good team indeed!

Dazza: Competition time!
Rachel: I know you all want something for nothing, and JGN delivers to the Jeruselem and Nedalian fans.
Dazza: Since it's the triple X world cup, we have special new competition.
Rachel: It's those unmarried coupleS.
Dazza: JGN is paying for YOUR wedding
Rachel: Yes, we pay for your wedding! All of it including the boozing and drunkeness.

Dazza: Now how do you win this - simple. Tell us why you deserve it, but 200 words or less.
Rachel: Hit the JGN web site and submit your application along with the personal details we ask.
Dazza: Married folks don't apply
Rachel: Submissions in Arabic, Greek, Latin, English, Nedalian, French or Hebrew
Dazza: And one per couple please, we at JGN aren't computers.
Rachel: It's the link with me in wedding dress. You can't miss it folks.

Rachel: We'll announce the winner, when the group stage starts.
Dazza: And if you work for JGN or any of it's affiliates - you can't enter. That includes any family members - including your 90th cousin
Rachel: Which includes you and me
Dazza: You're married anyway. I'm just waiting to get someone - and he knows who he is. I'll wait.
Rachel: Oh yes, that also includes our friends who work for Nedalian broadcasting. We're not being mean but it is meant for the general public.
Dazza: No Gay marriages either because of government policy

Rachel: It's now time for Dazza's Yap Yap
Dazza: Or Rachel's Rant. I've got a request from a young fella who wants to know how do to a bicycle kick without getting badly hurt. Yes, bicycle kicks are only for the capable and flexible. If you have back or joint problems, don't do it. Dazza's advice to buy a big trampoline and practice on that. Or maybe find a big mattress with lots of support, not those thin ones or you'll be in hospital every soon. It really helps if you have good knees too.

Rachel: A wife askes about the shaving habits of World Cup players. Well, I know the men shave as waxing is probably far more painful for men than women due to amount of hair to be removed.
Dazza: Most of the girls wax, but it still bloody hurts. Still better than a visit to the dentist.

Rachel: That's it from me and Dazza. See you tomorrow night. Sweet dreams!
Dazza: And pray for Jeruselem and Nedalian teams while you're at at.

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Sea Dragons Drew With Absolute Nobody. Squad Realing

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Horgate where the Sea Dragons look completely abysmal against their unranked opponents. Porche Alexander was supposed to be joining us for this telecast, but no members of the Sea Dragons squad could be reached for any sort of comment.

Early on in the match it was apparent that the Sea Dragons were not playing up to their normal level of intensity or skill. Horgate was controlling the match, and that is an area that the Sea Dragons usually thrive at. But as the first half came to a close, the score was still knotted at zero. ASMV looked tired. And Horgate had looked like the #22 side in the world rather than an unranked newcomer.

The second half would see things get worse for the Sea Dragons. In the 64th minute, Horgate would take the lead. And the play of the ASMV players had confirmed what had been feared all along. The age was a problem - at least in this match. Pablo Iglesias and Porche Alexander struggled to find shots. Evan Evans looked little like the best midfielder in the world - arguably, that is. And Micah Swift looked more like an aging used-to-be than the most feared back in football. So much for the name “Kneebreaker”. Perhaps “Cuddles” would be a better name.

In fact it wasn’t until four reserves - Leena Draghi, Ali Devincenti, Kendrick Pu, and Bok Werizky - that ASMV was able to change the flow of the match to their favor. A hard tackle from Werizky, solid pass up field from Pu, and a monster shot from Draghi would even the score and give manager Pao St Martinique some serious roster issues to consider before the Sea Dragons returned home to face the always dangerous side from Green Wombat. One thing is for certain, if the Sea Dragons play this poorly again, Green Wombat will get their first ever win over ASMV.

In other news from Group 12 Magnus Velarius proved too much for newcomers Carvalo 2-1. Green Wombat dropped the ever-mindful of mod action Lexington SC squad 2-1. New Montreal States actually lived up to their billing, Unlike us, and crushed Harlesburg 5-0.

Friends Watch.
Milchama hammered Toopoxia 4-0
Cuation also found no luck today in a 0-0 draw with Lisburn Mateys
Tadjikistan escaped 2-1 over Raging Penguins
Ariddia pulled a 2-1 win over Rordia
Dorian and Sonya dropped a 1-2 score against TnUI

The Bartol Occassional
Bringing you the news...when we feel like it

Disappointment in the world of Tocapan international sports as the national football team fell in their opening match of World Cup 30 qualifiers to Vuam and Isma by a score of 2-1. The opponent's opened the scoring in the eighth minute with a goal from Vuam and Isma forward Stephen Fitzsimons that just slipped by keeper Roran Eldrop. The next 34 minutes went by fairly uneventfully, when Eldrop made a incredible save, but at the cost of an apparently severely injured leg. Eldrop left the field, forcing head coach Geraldo Ascou to put reserve keeper Aron Takleo into the fray.

While the rest of the first half passed, the start of the second opened just as awfully as the first, with reserve forward Robert O'Beirne nudging past Takleo within the first three minutes of the half, making the score 2-nil. Vuam and Isma coach Johann Fischmann used the remaining substitutions in the last ten minutes of the game, which just allowed Tocapan midfielder Jerro Smiss an opening in the 86th to give Tocapa a goal, though it was not enough to get an equalizing momentum going.

Afterwards, Eldrop spoke about his injury: "This really hurts. I really loved Bungo's, even if they did charge too much." Ascou issued a statement regarding Eldrop's future: "He vas a good man. Not the best goalman, but hey, vhat are ya gonna do?" Tocapan team doctors are analyzing the injury and are prepared to issue their diagnosis soon.

Tocapa's next qualification match will be against Rorysville.

Standings

Nation | P | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts
--------------------------------------------------------
Risa-Aramour | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | +4 | 3
Spaam | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | +4 | 3
Krytenia | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | +2 | 3
Vuam and Isma | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | +1 | 3
Tocapa | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | -1 | 0
Perturbed Leopard | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | -2 | 0
Eseck | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 4 | -4 | 0
Rorysville | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 4 | -4 | 0


Schedule
MD0: <none scheduled>
MD1: Tocapa 1:2 Vuam and Isma
MD2: Rorysville v Tocapa
MD3: Eseck v Tocapa
MD4: Tocapa v Spaam
MD5: Tocapa v Krytenia
MD6: Tocapa v Risa-Aramour
MD7: Perturbed Leopard v Tocapa
MD7.5: Tocapa v Quakmybush (friendly)
MD8: Vuam and Isma v Tocapa
MD9: Tocapa v Rorysville
MD10: Tocapa v Eseck
MD11: Spaam v Tocapa
MD12: Krytenia v Tocapa
MD13: Risa-Aramour v Tocapa
MD14: Tocapa v Perturbed Leopard

Goals

Jerro Smiss

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif


What the Hell Are Those?!?
...and where are the Eels?...



Throughout his day as a player on the Turorian National Team, Jualiar Vumaou typically took a back seat to other stars such as Mauritus Banda and Akamoari Liano. Some say he was always a bit of a joker in the locker rooms, but the public never really caught wind of it.

They sure know now. Just days before the start of the World Cup XXX Qualifying campaign, when most expected the storied Vilitan sharp shooter to reveal his 23 player roster for the opening matches against Elves Security Forces and Northern Caesarea, Vumaou instead revealed a blank sheet with a big question mark on it, and went on to name himself as the national candidate in the Legends Shootout competition. "Don't worry, the official roster has already been sent to the proper governing bodies. We won't be in any trouble. I just want it to be a bit of a surprise, thats all."

Surprised is more of an understatement than could ever have been imagined.

It was a bright and sunny day in Cednia Beach, and the Cednia Beach Center was alive with fans from all accross the Island of Turori, and some from neighboring Vilita who didn't feel like travelling all the way out to The Weegies to see some no names kick a ball around. Besides, all the talk had been about the Turorian roster. There were rumors floating around that Vumaou might hand a start to young speedster Juaile Nuratasa, who had yet to make a senior international appearance due to the Federation of Turori forgoing all competitive sports for the previous time period. Nuratasa had been lighting up the cameras around Turori, however, and perhaps today was the day he pulled on his nations colors for the first time.


The crowd continued to grow anxious as kick off time neared with no announcement of who was even going to be in the starting lineup for their nation on the day. Then finally, the moment came. The announcer got on the PA system and introduced, for the first time since World Cup 28, The Turori Eels!



... A deafening silence fell over the crowd as a herd of what appeared to be slightly oversized ducks ran almost athletically out of the tunnel. When it became apparent that these creatures were fully adorned in the national kit, however, smiles and chuckles broke out accross the arena. "Well, it appears as if their will be a little bit of pre-game entertainment before we're started here, as it looks that some creatures are out to have a bit of a kick about!" Former Turorian midfielder Malaino Mumamba exclaimed over the live broadcast. "Well, it seems that creature with the #11 shirt on has a bit of skill! I wonder how they've trained them so well. What are those things, anyway?"

The chuckles and smiles turned to whispers and murmers in just a matter of moments, however, as the 59,000 fans noticed Vumaou and the referrees walking out of the tunnel as the Elves Security Forces huddled around their dugout. Where was the Turorian Squad? The refs? Why are they meeting in the center of the pitch while those... things... are still out there? What is going on? Why is that creature... going towards the refs?

For the next 45 minutes, not a single word was muttered by Turorian blood. Mumambas international broadcast was a video feed and some static. Only the faint cheers of some Elvish players could be heard as they stunned the mismatched creature standing between the sticks in a Turorian goalkeepers kit for the opening goal of the match.

At half time, both the Elves, and their Turorian creature counterparts entered the locker room. Vumaou remained on the pitch, and took a lap around the playing surface before heading for the tunnel. Finally, the silence was broken, as one fan finally spoke up.

"Vumaou! What the hell are those things? And where are the Eels!" The fan, nearly falling over from the shock of movement after three-quarters of an hour of statue-like existance exclaimed.

Vumaou stopped, looked the fan straight in the eyes and said "Well, they are Cocoabo's, and by golly, they sure can play. Just wait, you'll see."



http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXx :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11562153&postcount=76)

World Cup xXx :: The Turori Story
- (1) Jualiar Vumaou Named as Turori Head Coach! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11550142&postcount=58)
- (2) Vumaou enters Legends Shootout (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11552142&postcount=64)
- (3) What the Hell are those?! ... and where are the eels... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11552142&postcount=143)

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Trite Sports Publication

Perfect Start For Waffles

Pengelley's Waffles, headed by Crewenna Roskelly in her fourth World Cup,
got off to the start they wanted at home against Rorysville. It was Tehta
Trevelyan, Spaam's top goal scorer, who predictably drew first blood in the
8th minute, easily beating the Moose's Nikolai Larionov. Roskelly then showed
why she is currently Spaam's top player, with a perfectly executed header off
a Gorran Chegwidden corner, to send Spaam up by two in the 27th minute.
Mar'h Menadue then closed off the first half by scoring just before the
whistle, Larionov just getting his fingers on the ball.

With the Waffles up three nil at the break, Tamsyn Pengelley could afford to
try out some of the newer players, and they didn't disappoint against a more
aggressive Rorysville. Spaam's defense was perfect, with Gwinear Tonkin and
Massen Gurvey running after every forward, and Feoca Arthur easily
dispatching with any balls that came his way. The match was finally put
away in the 80th minute, with Trevelyan getting his double from another well
executed Chegwidden corner and a set play.

Spaam 4 - 0 Rorysville
(1 Trevelyan 8, 80; 4 Roskelly 27; 14 Menadue 44)

Results

Group Five
Eseck 0 - 4 Risa-Aramour
Krytenia 2 - 0 Peturbed Lepoard
Tocapa 1 - 2 Vuam and Isma

In other Group 5 matches, Risa-Aramour had a perfect start to the season,
when they came up with a four goal to nil away win against unknown Eseck.
Krytenia suprised noone, defeating Peturbed Lepoard at home, two nil, and
Vuam and Isma just managed to squeak through away against Tocapa, two
goals to one.

Group One
Spaamanian Plijous 3 - 1 Hiiraan
Errinundera 4 - 3 Benlandngdo

Group Ten
Quakmybush 4 - 0 Bostopia

The Gulls also got off to a great start, defeating Hiiraan at home three
goals to one, while Errinundera had an exciting home game against
Benlandngdo, finally winning four three. And the Drakcorp Quakmybush
national team showed they have promise, crushing Bostopia by four goals to
zip.

Next Week

Next week, Spaam travels to Risa-Aramour, hoping to get their away
campaign off to a good start, but will be facing a team that had a big away
win. Peturbed Lepoard hosts Eseck in a low-ranking match, with both teams
ranked under 190. Vuam and Isma will host last cup's third place winner
Krytenia, in an important match for both teams. And Rorysville will hope to
get back on a winning track, hosting Tocapa.

In other matches, Spaamanian Plijous fly to Chicanada aiming to not lose
against higher ranked team, and Errinundera heads back to the Heartland
when they face world number five Liverpool England. And Quakmybush will be
looking for two in a row, when they travel to face Ten Thousand Maggots.

Table

Nation W D L GF GA GD P G%
Spaam 1 0 0 4 0 4 3 100
Risa-Aramour 1 0 0 4 0 4 3 100
Krytenia 1 0 0 2 0 2 3 100
Vuam and Isma 1 0 0 2 1 1 3 67
Tocapa 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0 33
Peturbed Lepoard 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0 0
Eseck 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0 0
Rorysville 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0 0

History

01 Spaam 4-0 Rorysville
02 Risa-Aramour vs Spaam
03 Krytenia vs Spaam
04 Tocapa vs Spaam
05 Spaam vs Eseck
06 Spaam vs Peturbed Lepoard
07 Vuam and Isma vs Spaam
08 Rorysville vs Spaam
09 Spaam vs Risa-Aramour
10 Spaam vs Krytenia
11 Spaam vs Tocapa
12 Eseck vs Spaam
13 Peturbed Lepoard vs Spaam
14 Spaam vs Vuam and Isma

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section: World Cup Qualifying

Football Federation, Dellet Announce Roster Changes

LONDON - Amidst the chaos in the Legal Republic and the spread of the Quirrith Plague, one thing that has been able to bring Clanners together is the national football team. Though perhaps the biggest chronic underachievers, men and women have gotten behind the Stars even more than usual, spirits are high, and everyone is ready to spoil things for a potential qualifier. "We feel that even though we probably won't qualify, we have a strong chance to make things really difficult for another team," said sports merchandizer Jack Luthor. With the Stars relishing that new role, after last years dismal performance at the Cup of Harmony, Interim Head Daniel Davies and Manager Casey Dellet announced some changes to the Stars.

Defending veteran Ryan O'Rory, along with fullback Yuri Kvendazi, left midfield Krotos Daganopolis, and sub Christopher Landry have been dropped.

Combinations of age, declining talent level, and inability to play within the system were all announced as factors for Dellet and Davies decision to drop the players. Currently no replacements have been called up, but things are looking up for Limassol midfielder Owen Harraway, who had an all-star season with the United, who lost on penalties in the final of the IAFL, who could be called up to replace Daganopolis as soon as next week.

First Match in Casari, Stars Look Disoriented, But Dangerous

CASARI - Well, it certainly was a strange day for all involved. The first 'home' match played by the Stars, was infact played in nearby Casari, with the team several hundred kilometers away in the southwestern Olympic stadium, where the Stars have moved to escape potential threats, including Anarchist terrorists and the Quirrith plague. "It's certainly jarring," said Captain Bloudin, "I don't remember ever playing football under such conditions." With the training in an unfamiliar place, lack of fans who flew to Casari to be able to watch the games because of travel restrictions, and the recent changes in the lineup obviously showed in the Stars play. "It was a tough game, without a doubt, but I think that they will learn to play in the new environment and learn to excel. The pressure has shifted, and things have really changed in a way I never would've expected in all my days as a football fan. The nation is really getting behind these men, and I expect them to be able to play with the best," said manager Casey Dellet, who took the StarsB to the quarter-finals of the AOCAF.

The game certainly showed poise and organization that was lacking in the Stars. After a bad foul near the top of the box, English keeper Adam Carrero, launched a cannon of a curving shot that should've been intercepted, but miscommunication between Santander and McKinley led to the goal. The Stars let in another off of a bad pass that came from miscommunication between Wentworth and Darryl Mekij, which lead to a steal and a beautiful strike from the top of the box by Luis Sunderland. At half-time, the Stars looked depressed, and just generally a mess, but Dellet was able to get them working together sufficiently to create a more flowing play in the second half. While the Stars looked much better, one has to member the Liverpoolians are a much better squad all around. They proved it on their third and final goal, which was a beautiful combination of passes and skill down the field, thorough and clean, with the final touch being a chip onto the head of Tsai, who played it to the other side of the diving Santander.

But there was still hope for the Stars, who were able to dominate possession and play in the last twenty minutes. The fluid passing is a staple of Dellet's coaching and playing style, using the fluid movement of the ball to tire the opposition and then fill the box with crosses and long strikes. One of those classic long strikes put the Stars on the board, coming from Ryley Bloudin. After the game, Dellet announced with Davies that neither of them would be seeking the position of head of the FFLC, and mentioned several names, including Vilitan Helmut Vilkaus, Oliverrian manager Jean-Gerrard Henri, and an unnamed Bedistani, who sources claim is Nick Reagan.

The Lowland Clans 1-3 Liverpool England

the wentland peculiar

Goals, goals, goals!

Hop on, the world is singing! Put on the dazzling charm! Get out and meet those pretty goals, goals, goals, goals! An amazing four billion goals were scored on the first day of Cuppus Mundus xXx™!

Well, it seemed that way at times in the Star Sports Studio™. Seven at Errinundera, eight at Qazox, and a few right tonkings scattered around the NSdoms. And, glory be, five at the Cathedral of Hate that is the Garrison, 80% of which went to the home side.

Yes, ladies and gedderbong, the Barnes boy has done it again and stayed execution for another match or two. Defeat by Marion Oaks 2 (The Revenge) would surely have meant that the Barnes was back to the Crows. But the Swifts turned in a reeking-of-awesomeness display (thank you Jeruselem we think) with a delectable foursome that left the Wents wantsing more.

How did those goals go in, I hear you ask? <Voice off: HOW DID THOSE GOALS GO IN?> Thank you. Very nicely.

Ha ha.

No, seriously. The 4-3-3 worked. Joe Weston had a lot of work to do in midfield but with Devey and Kent supplementing and Talbot and Tanne doing their Crowhurst overlapping it seemed like a 2-5-3 or even a 2-3-5 at times and Marion Oaks 2 (The Return) could not cope. With Nutter Norman powering in headers and subtle-as-lard Andrew Saint also bustling a panicking defence the quartet of quoals was the least reward. Simple enough to state, but numero uno was a Cooper header, duo was a Saint header (and for his first international goal on his international debut at his home ground that got a bit of a cheer), both from Devey crosses, trio was a Barnes poke after a Cooper header was blocked, and quatro a Kent swerving dip shot™ from a late free-kick. Mr Copybook Blot was a breakaway consi with the Swifts four to the good. But no-one grudged Marion 2 (The Reprisal) that.

Who's next? I hear you ask. <Voice off: WHO'S NEXT?> A trip to Marcel Marceau State. So be vewwy, vewwy qwiet.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated


"Nice to see you again, Fr. John!"

"Nice to be back, Fr. Nicholas - for a campaign full of soul strenghtening suffering against vegetables, upstarts, and maggots...."

"And communists, Fr. John. Don't forget those communists."

"You mean militant atheist destroyers of Orthodoxy? Like Hockey Canada?"

"That would be them, Fr. John."

"Well, Fr. Nicholas, let it be recorded then that we came away from Hockey Canada with a might victory for Orthodoxy!"

"Are you sure, Fr. John?"

"Absolutely."

"Certain?"

"Couldn't be more so."

"Well, it's just that it says here, on this here telegram that 'hockey canada 3 - archregimancy 1 STOP new squad outmatched by Canucks STOP Fr. Danielthecounfounderofheretics scores sole goal STOP disastrous start to campaign STOP'"

"Outlandish lies, Fr. Nicholas!"

"So you deny we lost?"

"Not at all. We most certainly lost the football match 3-1. But we attained a mighty MORAL victory. The history of communist-Orthodox interaction over the last century is a far from happy one, and it must be counted a moral victory of the highest order that we came away with no churches turned into museums of atheism, no monks sent to concentration camps, no monasteries requisitioned as prisons, and all of the squad alive."

"With all due respect, Fr. John, I'm not sure that Hockey Canada is quite the same as Stalin's Soviet Union...."

"Oh must you always ruin my analogies with awkward facts, Fr. Nicholas. Look, we lost the football match - let's at least claim a moral victory, alright? Otherwise we have very little at all to celebrate this morning...."

"If you say so, Fr. John.... If you say so....

HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

TOTTY SCORES WITH BEDISTAN
Forward Also Finds Net in Football Match

By Constantine Durcaso
Archregimancy Correspondent

Bedistan and Alexandria Porcupines player Leonard Hollins was today furiously denying tabloid rumours that the attacking midfielder had been found in a post-match compromising position with Imperial porn star and forward Francesca 'Hot' Totty after the Holy Empire's 4-2 loss against the group 13 top seeds.

"He's a sweet man" said Totty, who refused to either confirm or deny the incident herself.

Totty also found the net twice in a surprisingly spirited performance against the number 2 ranked Lions, though conceding four was somewhat closer to the performance expected from the squad.

"Totty Always Scores!" t-shirts are now racing off the shelves in Alasdairopolis as the forward's fan base reaches new - and hitherto unexpected - heights of respectability.

Shaky start

Tadjikistan seemed to be ready for the World Cup qualifications with a team has combined experience with talent and a coach who was definitly crazy enough to drag the team all the way to the finals, so a team like Raging Pengiuns should not have been much of a problem.
The Tigers did not do their homework and ended up fighting -sometimes litterally- for the three points.

Before the game started, when the pleyers had all shown up, the referee sent the pengiun team back into the lockerroom and called in security to remove all unacceptable accesories carried by their team, Major Arkadiev of the Tadjik army made up a list of items: "One helmet, supposedly for mindcontrol but obviously intended to headbutt other players, one nerve gas launcher, one machine gun, body armour, shield and a variety of other harmful items. There was also a dangerous dog called Darling sweety. We did not remove it from its team after talking to Tadjik officials though, neither do I understand why. Well, whatvere happens, its their problem now."

The decision to keep a bloodthirsty dog in the game was controversial and not very popular, especially after the animals attack on Berzarin, who will be out for the next game in The Doja. He was replaced by Chernoburov, who wore armor to protect himself. But all it did was slow him down and he did not get a single shot on the Pengiun box.
The game went really bad for the Tigers in the thirtieth minute with Snabs scoring the first goal for his team. He easily passed Zaparov who was allegedly still under the influence of the mindcontrol helmet taken from Devious Penguin.

During the second half, the Tigers were given the opportunity to take revenge and they were aided by Darling sweety, the dog attacked two of its own players and was subsequently removed by the army after receiving 2 red cards.
With the Pengiun team down to only eight players for a short while, the Tigers moved up and scored twice. It was also the end of the game as things got out of hand and weapons appeared once more -especially on the Pengiun side-.
The army Captain, who replaced the referee after the latter had been taken out by one of the Penguins ended the game in the 73rd minute. Army troops moved in and, after a whole night of riots and fighting troughout the Isserson stadium, removed all Pengiuns and associated species. The Raging Pengiun team was was throw onto a military aircraft and brought back to whatever hell they came from.

Tadjik Coach Monhakyiev was not happy at all with the way the game had gone: "It was a disgrace! How the f*** can a team like this be allowed to play in World Cup qualifications in the first place? One of my best strikers was simply eliminated by some kind of beast! Bloodhound hellhound, whatever, Its teeth were too big for to be on a team."
"But that wasnt all, the whole Pengiun team was an mix of agressive wildmen and other strange creatures. They should be removed from the World Cup qualifications at once."
And while Mr Monhakyiev does his best to get them out of the tournament, the Tigers focus upon The Doja, an unknown and unranked side. Hopefully without any violence.

MD1: Tadjikistan - Raging Pengiuns W 2-1
MD2: The Doja - Tadjikistan
MD3: Tadjikistan - Toranat
MD4: Qazox - Tadjikistan
MD5: Commerce Heights - Tadjikistan
MD6: Tadjikistan - Swilatia
MD7: The Mice of Miceland - Tadjikistan
MD8: Raging Pengiuns - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - The Doja
MD10: Toranat - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan _ Qazox
MD12: Tadjikistan - Commarce Heights
MD13: Swilatia - Tadjikistan
MD14: Tadjikistan - The Mice of Miceland

Tadjik Topscorers
Tulberdiev - 1
Elisarov - 1

Cuation Legends Return.

By the Daily Mouse

Cuation have not just one friendly of starts but two to look forward too, Cuation will be at home against the number one team in the world, Starblaydia a real test for the team and will certainly shown the manager how far his team has to go.

The other friendly will be away to our friends the ESF, the team otherwise known as The Marauders will be hosting Cuation legends. This may be seen as a little cheeky given the few legends we have but these real legends have been confirmed, injury permitting.

Peter Seamen: Started his Cuation career as second choice keeper, unpopular with the fans and seemingly unnerving the defence, only getting meaningless games. Played the first games in Cuation's first world cup due to Gary Jens injury and was blamed for the teams poor form but when Gary Jens was dropped, Seamen took his chance, winning over everyone as he stayed as first choice for two World Cups and one Cup of Harmony

Sol Major: His best moment was in the first Cup of Harmony when he led the team's defence to shut out the Nedlia lions. A rugged defender, a leader on the pitch, he has been sorely missed as the team now lack the tough defence that allowed them so many upsets. Legends captain

Abel Robinson: The best holding player to come out of Cuation, captained the team to the Baptism of Fire success, his calm presence ensuring few successful opposition attacks came through the middle. Sadly Samba, while better on the ball, has not managed to step into this man shoes.

Roy Ferguson: Combative midfielder, could lose his temper but everyone knew when he played by the bruises on players shins. Scored a few goals, he represented the hard working team ethic of Jude's management and the lack of attacking talent.

Timothy Ashton: One of Cuation's three main threats of that era, scored Cuation's first goal and when dropped from the squad, the fans rioted. A very deadly long shot and underrated in regard his crosses, he worked well with Philip Cole.

"Beanpole" Tanner: Tall striker, started alone or up front with Rual Mendiz, his selfless play and ability to hold the ball up was vital to a long ball team. Scored a surprising amount of goals for a forward, he could never claim to be a natural scorer.

Jude Takerath: Manager of Cuation, won the Baptism of Fire and three semi finals in the Cup of Harmony, a scholarly man who, as time went back, lost the ability to inspire them against great or lesser opponents. Will take charge of the Legends team for this game, expect solid defensive play.

Cuation Penalty Players

To celebrate the World Cup, there is a penalty taking contest, Cuation have offered two candidates, hot shot forward Rual Mendiz or the legend of a right winger, Timothy Ashton. Rual may need to practise more as shown by his recent penalty miss but he is the better penalty taker of the two.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys Start Strongly

The Mateys third ever world cup, and mayby finally they are starting to get things together, with an Impressive 0-0 draw with Caution.

Caution it seems where just too Cautious and only had three shots on goal and just played the ball around int he midfield as they tried to wait for the Mateys defence to make a mistake, which never came.
Irwin in the midfield shielded the Defence perfectly something the Mateys team had been looking for, for a very long time.

Drama did occur in the second half when Mc Cann was brought down in the what the ref deemed to be inside the box, when it was clear on video replay that he was brought down outside. However justice was served when Caution keeper Jude Tanner saved Pattons fairly poor penalty and in the scramble that followed Phillip Cole hoofed the ball clear.

Before the game there was a little manner of announcing the new Captain and Paul Kirk announced that Amusi Akobyi would take over that role.
Akobyi quickly added that he was very proud and that he would continue to give his all for the team.

Tynelian RP- can't sign in again


“Hello soccer fans. Today Tynelia got off to a promising start in the 30th World Cup with a solid 2-1 win over fifth seeded Nikea. This is Mike McPhee and I’m accompanied by longtime Tynelian Soccer Weekly reporter Dana Lee here at the studio. This was a doubly good sign of possible things to come today Dana. Not only did Tynelia get off to a win it also showed a bit of a long awaited scoring touch with a pair of goals.”

“Yes a very good sign though longtime fans are no doubt crossing their fingers that the team can keep it up. But it was nice to see Jay Masterson and Alan MacDougal both get on the board right off the bat. These two must have a strong Cup if the team will advance. It does seem that adding the extra forward has at least in this match opened the field enough for our strikers to get some good shot opportunities as the defense had to stay honest and watch the outside shot from our forwards.”

“And there is a bit of a question at keeper as this is the first time Amy Whiteworth has allowed a goal in her first match. Though with Tynelia up 2-0 at that point Nikea’s late goal didn’t turn out to be too troubling and the team ran out the clock after that.”

“It could just be she needs a bit more time to get loose now Mike, I don’t think this is anything to worry about. A solid win on the road with a pair of home matches against two much weaker teams than Nikea is a good start. This was the match I was most concerned with given Tynelia’s history of slow beginnings. Of course Tynelia hasn’t done well at home either oddly enough so these next two matches could be tougher than people think.”

“Speaking of tougher matches than expected many were stunned to see the top team in the world Starblaydia barely edge out Spindomia 1-0. We’ll be getting to this one shortly but first the rest of the group results. Today, Starblaydia’s scare notwithstanding all the seeds held up as Awal KB edged Wrecker 2-1 and Bettia defeated Tynelia’s next opponent Montegrande by a 3-1 margin.”

“Here’s an interesting little side note here. The Tynelian fans have seemed to warmed up to the newcomers Montegrande. After so many press corps have lumped Tynelia in with the “who?” portion of the draft, the Montegrande press instead listed Tynelia with Bettia and Starblaydia as the group powers. The fact that some nation has finally shown us some respect has made Montegrande a very popular club here. Of course all our fans hope for a win tomorrow against them but don’t be surprised if the Tynelian fans give the visitors a warm welcome during the introductions.”

“Well at least someone is giving us some credit here. But now let’s cut over to Coach Adam Billington live via satellite for his thoughts on the match. Coach, nice of you to join us.”

<image of Billington pops up in the top corner of the screen>

“Hello Mike and Dana, how are you today?”

“Just fine coach.” Dana replied, “How do you feel about today’s start? A bit better than the past isn’t it?”

“You know Dana, I’m trying not to worry about what we did in the past because it doesn’t affect how we play right now. Naturally its always good to start with a win, especially since our main competition all won. The passing was crisp today, Anya and Alan had a couple of nice reads and got the ball to the open strikers and Jay and Alan finished off enough plays to come away with the win. The defense may need to adjust slightly, this is the first time we’ve had as few as five midfielders and defenders so there were a couple of spacing issues but hopefully we’ll sort that out by the time Starblaydia comes by.”

“Speaking of Starblaydia Coach, does it surprise you that they struggled so much against a Spindomia team most expected them to cruise past?”

“Well Mike, this is why I don’t like having pre tournament friendlies. Not only did the rest of the group get to scout the Starblaydia team but it also added one extra match on their players legs. It might not amount to much right now but with another round of these things scheduled at the midway point I think fatigue will become an issue for them by the end of the group stage. Now we’ll be able to take a look at how Spindomia shut them down and make our plans accordingly.”

“So Coach how do you feel about the team’s chances against Montegrande next match?”

“Well we don’t know too much about these guys Dana so we’ll be watching the film of them against Bettia closely to see what we’re up against. This will also be a good measuring stick for us and Bettia as well. If we can control the tempo like today and find the open man on the attack I think we’ll give the home fans something to cheer about. But I know traditionally this is the type of team that Tynelia has stumbled against in the past and I’ll be sure to remind the team of this to get it into their heads not to take this team lightly.”

“OK coach, that’s all the time we have for now. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us here today.”

“My pleasure Mike.”

<Billington’s image fades>

“So Dana, Coach Billington seems pretty confident right now. Do you agree with what he just said?”

“Yes I do Mike, clearly having played in the Cup himself is proving to be a boon to Coach Billington’s thinking. He knows what it takes to get through these things from watching and playing in these Cups before. No team can be overlooked which I think our previous coaches may have done in the past. So yes I think we will be able to begin a winning streak here and come out with a 2-0 win. This is actually a huige test for the offense to see if they can put up back to back respectable scoring efforts but I think this may be the team that can.”

“OK Dana, I have just received word that the tournament hosts have located the Tynelian imposters who played in the alleged friendly match with Qazox. It appears the team was a bunch of locals who found the field empty and decided to play the parts of Tynelia trying to keep a group of Oxen that wandered onto the pitch from getting into their crops. A wandering reporter happened by and thought he was seeing a match. The Tynelian Soccer Federation has expressed its thanks to the Schiavonia officials who were so quick to solve the mystery and has withdrawn its protest as a result.”

“Oops that’s all the time we have Dana, so time to head off ladies and gentlemen. The Tynelian match with Montegrande will be covered live from the Presidential Coliseum and after the match Dana and I will return for the postgame show. I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee for Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

Cataduanes 3 - The Greatest Crap 1

Matchday one saw the Islanders facing an relatively unknown team, it was a fixture that the Islanders dominated from start to finish with Butch Sacario sealing a hatrick in the first half.
The second half remained dominated by Cataduanes but penalty in the 56th minute saw the Greatest Crap pull a goal back, however this was against the run of playand the Isaldners continued to seek a fourth goal.

MD 2 will see the Islanders lining up against Marion Oaks 2 who suffered a 4-1 spanking to Wentland. Group favourites Jerusalem showed their intent by brishing aside Marceau state 4-0. The other result in group 8 saw United Island Empires defeat Delesa 2-1.

Green Wombat 2 Lexington 1

Lexington Sports Sentinel

In manager Will Getty's 3rd ever internatinal competetive match as coach, the Wildcats faced a genetically mutated Green Wombat Team. Roger Wilcox got the scoring off in the 32nd minute with a rocket to the top left corner that beat Lexington Goalie Michael Lee. I
n the 56th minute it was another Trevor to Trevor for the 'Cats when Trevor Trudeau headed in a corner kick by Trevor Griggs. But the Wombats struck back, and took the final lead with a heartbreaking goal in stoppage time.
It was again Roger Wilcox on the shot that was deflected by Will Belue to the side, but right to Scooby Doo who booted in right over Lee's head.
Just seconds after this goal the game was blown dead.
Lexington will host #38 Magnus Valerius tomorrow on MD 2.

Scorers:
T. Trudeau 1

Assists
T. Griggs 2

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-Moon-News-Today

Sports Section

Let the trounce begin

In one of the most lopsided games in Milchamian history the Milchama Warriors trounced the Toopoxia Rappers 4-0. The game looked like a shoo in from the beginning as the Warriors scored early and often. Coach Jamie Smith said, "There are people who say how start qualification can show whether you will qualify or not. If those people are correct not only will we qualify but we will be dominant in first place in qualification." And now for a rendition of how they scored by Kendry Oson.

2nd minute: Stockholm on the ball as he goes forward to Clufor. Del Clufor past one player, two players, three players. He passes it off to Aaron Kary. Kary beats his man but this is going to be a hard ball to get inside he thinks about crossing but goes inside the box as the keeper charges. He passes back to Spot Nielson, who has a wide open net, and he shoots! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1-0 Milchama as Nielson comes back with a bang. The Milchamian section are chanting "Who is Kelvin?! Who is Kelvin?!" This is a good time to be a Warriors fan.

18th minute: Marin Keffer getting the ball just in front of midfield. Keffer gets past his man and is now on a run. The Toopoxian defense is trying to outplay him but he slips a perfect pass through to Floren Albentine and Albentine shows that great finishing touch. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!
2-0 Milchama after a wonderful play from Marin Keffer. This guy looks like a more exciting version of Dunston Copperlee. It might not be a bad idea for Jamie Smith to play a 3-3-1-3 just for him. Keffer is that good.

31st minute: Keffer again on the ball. This time from the back and he's past one defender, now he passes over to Clufor, back to Keffer over to Kary over to Nielson over to Albentine back to Keffer he beats his defender outside the 18 and -whoa! -GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! 3-0 Milchama. Marin Keffer scoring after a spectacular passing performance but his shot was just incredible it was top right corner and he knew it was going in from the beginning. This kid has just unbelievable talent and he's barely scratched the surface of it. Soon he might be surpassing Marc J. Floren as the best Milchamian player of all time.

45th minute: What a first half. The Warriors dominated from start to finish and the Rappers just didn't look into the game at all.

50th minute: Nice tackle by Chase Mergle and the ball goes forward. Del Clufor with the ball now as he goes outside to Marin Keffer who outsteps one defender and jumps over another. He shoots from way out but the ball is blocked by the keeper. BUT IT GOES RIGHT TO FLOREN ALBENTINE!!!!!!!!! 4-0. GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!! Floren Albentine getting a rebound off a Marin Keffer shot to make it 4-0 Milchama. This game started one sided and man did it get one sided fast. Albentine gettting his brace and now he has 40 minutes to see if he can get a hattrick.

90th minute: And that's the game. After that 4th goal the Warriors got off the pedal but it didn't matter as they had already secured victory. A 4-0 win to start off qualification it all looks good.

Final Score:
Milchama 4 (Nielson 2, Albentine 18, 50, Keffer 31)
Toopoxia 0 (Tupac is dead, live with it)

Raging Penguins Report:
The Penguins lived up to expectations as they injured two Tadjik players in the process of losing to Tadjikistan 2-1. They even took the lead for a short time but it was short lived.

Milchama Man of the Match:
Marin Keffer- Sure Albentine scored the brace but throughout the whole game Keffer looked like the second coming of Dunston Copperlee. He led the team on the field and his creativity and chance creating were brilliant. He seemed to slip by defenders as if he was on another planet. This performance might just be the coming out of Marin Keffer as he proved tonight why he made the Milchamian B team at age 15.

Okay just so everbody knows MD2 has been postponed till 09:00 UTC on Saturday, a bit more time to RP and then I'll be able to give you scores

Cuation Steal Win Over ASMV

Inside the studio of Sports 24 was the "Scores" program, informing the people from 1-6 about the latest results in all sports. At just before 3PM, some Cuation fans tuned in. There they saw Derek Folds, dressed up in a suit as usual, smarmy smile on.

"It is nearly kick off time and I hear rumours of some surprising team news. Over to Abel Robinson, who is at the Southern Peaks Stadium."

Screen moves to Abel Robinson, behind you can see a bit of the pitch and a packed part of the stadium. The viewers will never see any part of the match on this program, just Abel saying what has happened.

"Well Derek, Cuation seems to be kicking off in a 5-4-1 formation, Samba dropping to defence and Hargreves playing the holding role. This means somebody has had to be dropped and the new manager has put striker Rual Mendiz on the bench, a controversial move that the fans do not seem to like."

DF: "Predictions?"

AR: "I think ASMV have the quality but is this a cup to far for their aged squad? I predict a good natured draw as neither side will want to humiliate the other."

xxxxx
24 mins

DF: "So good news for the Mina cricket team. Let us see how the Cuation team are doing against ASMV."

AR: "Badly, in open play Cuation defends well but whenever a set piece is conceded, they have struggled. Jude has had to make solid saves from Iglesias, Alexander and Galluccio's headers. Swift and Vianal have also missed the target with headers, the marking sometimes seems a little lax and Jude is too happy to stick to his line."

"One corner was accidentally knocked down at the far post by Hargreves to the lurking Evans, the veterans shot powered past Jude but was blocked on the line by Butcher's solid leg, Ulrich's follow up effort turned over the bar by Jude."

xxxxx

35th minute

DF: "News has reached me that ASMV have taken the lead. Abel?"

AR "Sadly, Cuation had just started to solve the set piece problem and had their first shot on goal, Lu Fei's header from Cole's early cross straight at Shaun Conarky. His long kick up the pitch should have been cleared but Hargreves and Samba went for it, colliding with each other mid air, allowing the ball to go behind the defence.

Porche Alexander took one touch to bring the ball under control and found herself in the clear. Looking up, she must have spotted the surprised Jude hopelessly out of position, her low shot easily fitting in between the gap of his dive and the near post. A deserved lead for ASMV but the manager seems unhappy over the way it was conceded."

xxxxxxxx

40th minute

DF: "Seem Cuation has nearly fallen further behind. Let us get the latest from the action."

AR: "Well Cuation have defended well since conceding but Jude has produced another good save when Yan allowed Pablo Iglesias to turn him on the edge of the area, his snap shot not quite heading towards the far corner but the surprise effort was beaten away."

xxxxxx

Half Time

DF: "So half time at sky peaks, the score 1-0 to ASMV. Your thoughts Abel?"

AR: "Cuation has, for the most part, defended well in open play but early set pieces seemed to cause havoc as the man markers struggled. They have since changed to just throwing themselves in front of the ball and picking up the second ball. Jude Tanner has played well though he might need to be persuaded to come for high balls inside the box, with his throw outs, he could set up a counter attack."

"Cuation has not tried to counter, the attacking players seem scared in case they leave too few men back and Hargreves often trying to go forward hasn't helped. Lu Fei has been isolated and needs support badly but isn't getting it. ASMV will know they should have come in at least two goals ahead but only half time magic can make them pay it would seem."

xxxxx

55 minutes

DF: "Still 1-0 down but Cuation seems to be turning it around."

AR: "Indeed, Jude's goal has only been troubled by a Shade 30 yarder that flew wide. With Hargreves staying back in the holding role, Cuation players seem happy now to counter attack. Giovanni, Butcher, Fallen, Milnar have already had long range efforts either comfortably saved or wide."

"Lu Fei is linking the play well but has had only one real opportunity, a Cole overlap resulting in a low cross that Fei stabbed at, Conarky showing that age has not robbed him of his reflexes, using his leg to block the ball. The ASMV defenders have done well to cut out the supply to him."

xxxxx

1-1

DF: "Well as you may hear from the cheers all over our island nation, Cuation have pulled level. How did that come about?"

AR: "Well it has become increasingly well deserved but there seemed little danger when Butcher was impeded with 60 mins gone. Giovanni was out wide from about 35 yards but he curled in a cross shot, the defenders and attackers missed it on the six yard box, the experienced Conarky only able to get a hand on it as he reacted late."

xxxxx

20 minutes left

DF: "ASMV have come close to making it 2-1, do they deserve the lead?"

AR: "Both sides have defended well, Cuation allowing ASMV to come to them then trying to him on the break so hard to tell. When Milosavic was sent behind the tiring Cole on the overlap, her cross into the six box was met by a stretching Alexander at the far post. The touch was enough to send it bouncing towards goal but Jude was quick to get down and turn it around the post."

"Philip Cole has come off for his brother Gary Cole, perhaps to bring in some fresh legs down the flank against a rapidly tiring ASMV team who have brought on Pu down the right, Leena Draghi and Ali Devincenti up front."

xxxxx
Cuation take lead with 15 minutes to go.

DF: "Cuation has come back from behind to make it 2-1, a great achievement against our old friends."

AR: "Cuation broke when Hargreves intercepted a poor pass, playing it wide to Giovanni who played it short to Lu Fei, he then played it back to Fallen, little seemed to be on. Without looking, Fallen played the ball behind Micah Swift for Milnar to run onto."

"His first touch took the ball inside the box and away from the covering Galluccio. His second took him round the advancing keeper and the third gave Cuation a shock lead. They have really come out a better side in the second half but the game isn't over yet."

xxxxxx

5 agonising minutes later

DF: "Well a disallowed goal and a missed penalty, the game is turning into a real scorcher, Cuation looking to kill the game while ASMV try to equalise."

AR: "Indeed, that is the case. ASMV where caught out by an offside trap, Cheese cleverly stepping forward in the last second as Pu crossed the ball in, Leena Draghi's cushioned downward header beating the helpless Jude but the flag had gone up.

At that point, Cuation's new manager decided to take off Lu Fei who had worked so hard but lacked a cutting edge for Rual Mendiz. Within minutes, Rual had been brought down inside the box, a bursting run onto a poor back pass by Shade provoking a cynical challenge by Vianal. As it was a friendly, no card was given but Rual Mendiz sliced at his penalty kick, sending it out for a throw in."

4 minutes to go.

DF: "Cuation has killed the game off, 3-1 and not much time left for ASMV to come back."

AR: "When the ball went in, the Cuation fans where chanting the managers name, or trying too thanks to the turnaround. Hargreves won the ball off Khazir-Zarazoroba and sent Giovanni scampering down the right with most of ASMV players too far forward. The playmaker turned winger nut mugged Vianal and sent in an inch perfect cross onto the head of Rual at the near post.

The good header across goal was pushed away by an excellent save by Shaun Conarky but the rebound fell to Fallen who slid the ball into the empty net. ASMV have looked tired and with Cuation's defence holding firm, I can't see Cuation conceding two goals."

xxxxxxxx

Injury time

DF: "Cuation have made on last change as the clock winds down."

AR: "A standing ovation from both sets of fans as Jude comes off for Gary Jens. Jude had been Cuation's best players in the first half and kept them in it, he deserves at least an 8 out of 10 but most of the ovation is for Gary Jens, popular in both countries for his part in the tragic events leading up to the Baptism of Fire final."

xxxxxx

Full time.

DF: "Cuation has pulled off an upset, an early vindication of the new manager’s tactics but did we deserve it?"

AR: "I think we just about did deserve a win for taking advantage of tired legs and for some impressive defending. A lot of work clearly needs to be done as a team like set piece defending and as individuals. ASMV will be disappointed and they will know they should have wrapped this up by half time so I won't jump to conclusions just yet."

Dotan Goes By "Zikan" for World Cup

Midfielder Arik Dotan, when it came time to put his name on his jersey, decided to go by a nickname: Zikan. He's the first player in Becquerelia history that used just a nickname for his uniform.

"I got called Zikan after the Draggonnii Inviiyati," he explained. "Ziakn was the name given to aupposed sniper who got, like, 300 kills in one battle. So Daniel Riske, who's a bit of a history buff, called me that because of the goal I had in the game. It was a bit of a 'sniper' like shot, wasn't? Well, I thought it was catchy, so there you go."

The #18 Zikan jerseys are currently the highest selling Becquerelian jersey, according to Mercury Sports.


Assisstant Coach Hopes To Compete In Penalty Competition

Peter Constantine, currently Assistant Coach for the National Team talked about possibly competing in the Legends Penalty Competition being held in conjunction with the World Cup.

"It's be a great honor to represent Becquerelia on the field again, for one thing," he explained. "Also though, I think I'd do really well. I loved penalty shots while I was playing, and I'm sure I can score some now."


Centrifuge Sports presents out predictions for Group 4 and the World Cup.

Group 4

Squornshelous (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11487015&postcount=39) (9)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/squornshelous.gif

Squornshelous is one of a select few teams that could be considered world-wide powers. They combine a straong all-out attack with a very good defense. The Black Cats might be hard pressed to shut them down. They should easily win the group.
Prediction: First, Qualify

Becquerelia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11556753&postcount=71) (33)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/becquerelia.gif

After a surprising run to the World Cup Finals last time out (not as surprising at Quakmybush's, but still surprising none the less, Becquerelia enters qualifying ranked second in the group. It could get tight, with several talented teams right on their tails that would love to knock them off, but we're prediciting a second straight visit to the World Cup proper.
Prediction: Second, Qualify

Kericia (48)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/kericia.gif

Kericia, while not ranked all that highly, is still a definite threat. They came very close to qualifying last time out, and beat several good teams. This team should be the primary competition with Becquerelia to earn the final qualification spot. We're feeling good about our chances, so they probably end up on the outside looking in.
Prediction: Third

Vilita (71)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/vilita.gif

Vilita was at one time World Cup Champions, but appear to have fallen into hard times. One gets the feeling that they are in a spiral downward they might not get out of for a while. Expect a mid-pack finish for this team.
Prediction: Fifth

Sativaville (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11533283&postcount=54) (89)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/sativaville.gif

Prior winners of the Baptism of Fire, Sativaville has moved forward in leaps and bounds. While they had a poor run in World Cup 29 (in the same group as Squornshelous as well), they look to have a good run in this World Cup. Maybe all the recreational drug use isn't hurting their performance. Maybe.
Prediction: Fourth

The Weegies (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11489695&postcount=44) (155)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/theweegies.gif

There's a big gap in rank between Sativaville and The Weegies. We're sure The Weegies will have some good games, and pull off a upset here and there, but it probably won't be enough to get them past the Qualifying stage. Maybe next time guys.
Prediction: Sixth

Uncle Pete (200)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/unclepete.gif

Uncle Pete went 3-2-7 in the Baptism of Fire, and was never in a position to qualify for advancement into the second round. Unless that true baptism of fire has strengthened their team an incredible amount, it's going to be more poor finishs and low

standings for this team.
Prediction: Eighth

Sashonska (NR)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/sashonska.gif

Was not part of the Baptism of Fire, and appears to have no significant international playing experience. That is hardly a reason for them to lose (see Quakmybush or Elves Security Forces for reasons why not), but it doesn't appear that this team is at that caliber. We could be wrong, but there isn't much reason to think that right now.
Prediction: Seventh


Becquerelia's Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS
MD01: Kericia at Becquerelia
MD02: Becquerelia at Sashonska
MD03: Uncle Pete at Becquerelia
MD04: Becquerelia at The Weegies
MD05: Becqurelia at Sativaville
MD06: Squornshelous at Becquerelia
MD07: Becquerelia at Vilita
MD08: Becquerelia at Kericia
MD09: Sashonska at Becquerelia
MD10: Becquerelia at Uncle Pete
MD11: The Weegies at Becquerelia
MD12: Sativaville at Becquerelia
MD13: Becquerelia at Squornshelous
MD14: Vilita at Becquerelia

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/kericia.gif Kericia - 2__________3 - Becquerelia http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/becquerelia.gif


WIN NUMBER ONE
Scoring Outburst Leads To Victory


ROENTGEN (JNS) - Gregory Convenencia scored twice and Zikan scored once as Becquerelia started off their World Cup campaign with a victory at Phaeton Stadium.

"It's very important to start off with a win. It gets the whole thing off on the right foot," said Head Coach Mark Crescentini.

Crescentini continuted, "there are some things we want to work on. Two goals isn't a good thing to let through. But those were solid Kerician goals, not anything Tyrannio Licaussi did wrong. But that does indicate that the back five need to tighten up a bit."

Coming up is a game against unranked Sashonska. Sashaonska lost their first game four to nothing against Sativaville.


Becquerelia's Upcoming Schedule
WIN DRAW LOSS
MD01: Kericia - 2 Becquerelia - 3
MD02: Becquerelia at Sashonska
MD03: Uncle Pete at Becquerelia
MD04: Becquerelia at The Weegies
MD05: Becqurelia at Sativaville
MD06: Squornshelous at Becquerelia
MD07: Becquerelia at Vilita
MD08: Becquerelia at Kericia
MD09: Sashonska at Becquerelia
MD10: Becquerelia at Uncle Pete
MD11: The Weegies at Becquerelia
MD12: Sativaville at Becquerelia
MD13: Becquerelia at Squornshelous
MD14: Vilita at Becquerelia

OOC: I don't think Sarzonia has posted, so I will.

Five minutes into the opening game of Farstra's first world cup and they were already on the defensive. The commentators, Alex Bannister and Adam Parry had already groaned several times, at inaccurate passes and missed tackles.

"The minutes seem to already be slowing down, the Farstran team doesn't even seem to be on the field yet." Alex said despondently, as the ball, in Sarzonian possession made it's way past the half-way line and down the right wing.
"And here's another attack."

The ball was right on the corner flag, the Farstran defenders closed in on the Sarzonian right midfielder, Adam Purvis. And yet the ball still was swung into the box!
Groans were practically deafening from the fans back in Farstra, the outswinging cross had met the head of a Sarzonian forward, Steve Jacobson.

Adam's microphone was covered by his hand, so viewers didn't hear the profanities erupting out of his mouth, Alex took the initiative.
"Eight minutes and thirty seconds into the first half of the first game of Farstra's first world cup and we are down, one-nil to the Sarzonians, the way we are playing, I hope the radio listeners aren't hoping for a comeback."

The rest of the first half went the same way, Farstra gets the ball, Farstra loses it, Sarzonia attack, it was a wonder they weren't more than just one-nil down by half time, but they were, and were also booed off the pitch by Farstran supporters for their efforts.
After a semi-motivational half-time team talk the Farstran luck fared a little better. More efficient attacks were made, and often resulted in "Almost Goals". But even the better Farstran performance ended in disaster, a failed attack and an excellent counter from the Sarzonians, Brad Clausen taking the ball past two Farstran defenders and sliding the ball home to produce the end result of Two-Nil.

Newspapers the next day in Farstra showed just one thing, "Disaster for Farstran Football Team"

OOC: Short, yes. Sorry. :( But it's late and I've been stuck with moaning parents, brother and dog in the car on the M6 motorway for six hours.

*** After training, Samuel and some of the lads are at the local bar. All of them look somewhat knackered.

JEROME: Boy, that Mallon is a regular breath of vile air. What are you nutters up to?

JOSH: Just sitting here, watching our barren lives pass us by. Oh, look, a cockroach. (stomps it)

JEROME: Whoa, well, let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun! I'm dizzy!

SAMUEL: Alright, now I'm infecting those nearest and dear to me. I'm gonna call it a night.

JOSH: Oh, don't go!

JEROME: Uh, yeah! It's early! We could, um, drink!

SAMUEL: Rain check? Good night. (leaves)

This is Karel Karela reporting for Radio Divensirsk from the match of the Defenders against the heathens from Rejistania. The match takes place on the Offshore Pitch which is on a former oil-platform in the System Karelan sea. The Temple in his wisdom did decide not to let the evil of Imdila into the glorious nation. For the supporters, this of course means, they should preferable not become seasick.

(18th minute)
WHAT DOES THIS eVIL PERSON DO? LOOK WHAT HE DOES: the rejistanian forward Syku Lyku again attempts to get into System Karelan territory. but again, Karela Kiselev, Exke Hana and Alek Lyku steal the ball and pass it into security.

Hejida, I am Laksu Soveri and you are listening to the Sports Update on Radijo Hetkali. Today, we of course have regular updates on the soccer match System Karela versus our Rejistanian Orange-Blues and we report live from the Mjinen Semifinal of the Central league. And now: some music from the glorious 80ies: 'aninaro!

(match begin)
LS: Hejida Elin, has the match started already?

ER: Hejida Laksu, no the match has not started yet- The Offshore Pitch, where this match is taking place used to be a oil platform, but then the System Karelans made an artificial soccer pitch here in order to have matches against takilan teams without allowing them into the nation.

LS: The Archregimancy should make something similar for their matches.

ER: AS long as they do not construct it as shoddily as the System Karelans did. This thing sounds and looks like it is falling apart any second.

(18th minute)
ER: Syku Lyku Sikane'tes tries it again but as soon as he crosses the middle line, the System Karelans consider it an attack and they attack him. Yeah, bad choice of word here.

(halftime)

The Orange-Blues had no chance against the glorious Karelan defense. No one has. The score is still 0:0 and we saw a very exciting first half. It was really full of Karelan energy. It was really, really, really the kind of match, you would want to watch at least so far. The va'karela'ny helped to cure the rejistanis from their illness so this match was so far very positively defesive.

(halftime)

LS: Hello Elin, how would you summarize the first half?

ER: Well, I needed extra strong coffee to stay awake, this match was so dull... You did select something more interesting for your listeners surely. Even if you read the telephone book of Lemekanil to them. Of course, everywhere the va'karela'ny are glowing and so the fans do not mind that much that this match was a high-quality bore.

LS: Why are you not affected?

ER: Va'karela'ny work with blue light, so I am wearing glasses, which filter out all blue and a inikresaist magician casted a protective spell over me.

LS: I hope he was not Hanta?

ER: no Vejame.

(86th minute)

We are experiencing technical difficulties. We will try to keep you updated as soon as the Temple releases the official version of these events. For you, we have some excerpts of Priest Kansu's last sermon. Enjoy!

And the only reason why we are is of course that Taderekansa did create us from naught and told us to defend against the forces of evil. There is no rescue from this existance other than to help defending against the evil forces, who are constantly attacking us. We must always be prepared to defend aand sometimes even counter-attack. The codex clearly states that occasionally counter-attacks are good. Of course only under these requirements...

(85th minute)

ER: Hey, sorry to disturb your programme, here something is happening: The System-Karelan side of the pitch starts to tilt downwards. Apparently due to the high amount of va'karela'ny below it. Lyku'he Desnike'tes and Laku'he Sikane'tes do not need an invitation to capitalize this situation, especially since va'karela'ny do not work underwater. The ball is going faster than Lyku'he Desnike'tes, the defenders react too late and YES, this is the 1:0 for Rejistania.

(later)
ER: The Karelan side of the pitch is lowering itself constantly and the Orange-Blues are once again taking advantage of it... no, this time, Georgiy Abramovic intercepts the ball, tries to pass to Ilat Zakharov, but underestimates the gradient. Xtesa Kiru is there and JJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE, this is the 2:0. OH dear, the System Karelan authorities have heard me, I need to get on the boat quickly. If I will never broadcast again, you know that I will be in a system karelan reeducation camp! mmmeeeeeeeerrrrrrr'ssssssssllaaaaaaaaa

(broadcast ends mid-curse)

Griggs to Enter Penalty Shoot-Out

Lexington Sports Sentinel

The Lexington Soccer Federation announced to day that as excpected, star striker Trevor Griggs will enter the penalty kick contest. Griggs, who is 25, played in the WC28 BoF and WC28 for New-Lexington, has scored 17 goals in 31 career international matches. Neither Griggs, or coach Gettys were avaliable for comment at the time of this article.

Commerce Heights, they're so good there in the world cup twice, or not

In what was a match dominated by the Bazalonian Bazalopes the second of the Commerce Heights football associations, more commonly abbreviated to JSY put up a brave performance but just could not muster the strength to ever look like they had a chance. The score of 3-1 seems to tell you that the match was at least somewhat close. However this was not the case, it was a combination of a number of suspect referee decisions and pure bad luck that the score was not higher, in favour of the Bazalopes.

Michael Irchov scored the first goal in the math, it was in the 16th minute, the Bazalope Defense was not up to it's usual standard as "The Bandit" went in heel first to damage his opponent in the penalty area and was awarded a yellow car. The resulting penalty shot got through, mainly because the Bazalonian keeper failed to consider their top striker a real threat. And the ball saild through just out of reach of the keeper, who if he had been on his toes would have easily been able to reach out and get it.

The first half was full of chances for the Bazalopes but they failed to make the most of the plentiful chances, not one further goal was scored in the half and it ended in a 1-1 draw. You can afford not to take all your chances against teams like the JSY but up against teams like Rejistania and Dance2Revolution you cannot afford to take the win.

While talking about a Rejistania, their match against System Karela expected to be a very dull and boring match with both teams playing in ultra defensive modes, however they had the best result of the day with 3 goals to Rejistania

The second half was a much more concentrated and effective half with the team solidifying together and lifting their game, 2 goals where made in the first 20 minutes of the 2nd half. A number of oppurtinities where made and came ultra close when things like a sudden gust of wind manipulatd the ball and blew it from a course that was on target for the JSY Goal. The questionable referee decision was during injury time the ball was on target for the goal, and flying through the air, the Commerce Heights JSY keeper was on the ground, getting up. The ball flew into the net but as the ball was going in the referee blew his whistle and disallowed the goal due to it being "after the whistle".

News items from the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Green Left Online Edition

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/GreenLeft.gif

ERRINUNDERA RETURNS TO WORLD CUP WITH UBHASHINIM HAT TRICK

In its first World Cup match since WC26 (and that was the nation's only cup entry since WC9) ubhashinim, Errinundera's heavenly vice-captain, (pictured below) stunned supporters by scoring a hat trick - all in the first half!

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Ubhashinim2.jpg

Statisticians raced to the record books to discover that it was the only the third time an Errinundrian had scored a hat trick in World Cup matches. Little remembered striker firset managed it against Akbarland in the first round of WC6 and the legendary antarcticad (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Antarcticad) had the same distinction against DePaul in the qualifying rounds of Errinundera's cup-winning WC7 campaign.

Errinundera's inexperience showed after half-time as Benlandngdo pulled back all three goals. In an error-riddled last 10 minutes the potoroos had several attempts to score before otelopea (great, great grandson of oreadest) netted the ball just as injury time commenced to give the potoroos a 4-3 victory.

Captain, keok, found the team's reaction to their first World Cup match curious. "They started off ok, full of confidence, but the nerves really struck them in the second half. We will all be better for the experience. But wasn't ubhashinim sensational - her skills are exquisite."

The crowd at the Milosis Coliseum (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Milosis_Coliseum) in McKillops_Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge) gave full voice to their admiration for the compact and modest striker - ub-ha-shee-num makes a wondeful chant. When 41,000 fans sing it together the earth shakes.

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vilita/images/class.gif

Official Investigation and Findings Report
Liverpool England and Errinundera

Location :: Goongerah Green Left Online Edition

The Evidence ::

Errinundera']

(OOC: To be expanded shortly)


The Issue ::

Due to this recent release by the Errinundera media, it is apparent that there is an undeniable link between the nations of Errinundera and Liverpool England. With scorination deadline approaching, a fancy header and emblazened title warms the unknowin Errinunderan and international public by telling them that a decent report is about to come. This warming feeling that the header and title provide, serves to offset the digression upon the realization that no such report exists.

This practice of deadline circumvention has previously been seen on multiple occasions by the Liverpudlian English media, meeting their deadline without actually contributing any information.

The Effect ::

A devious plan to win sympathy bonus can only raise more questions than it poses results.

1) If the media outlet has no story to produce, then it should hold off production of the release until the story has been finished. Well, at least STARTED.

2) Media outlets that ignore statement #1 will be compared to Liverpool England



In conclusion, it is apparent that the Errinunderan media is acting entirely in classic Liverpudlian English form, and one has to wonder if it is infact the Liverpudlian English media providing the reports to begin with.

It is unlikely that the time previously referred to as "shortly" will ever be realized. If a media outlet plans on producing a release, they will typically write the release, and then publish it. If they have half a release, they will publish half a release. If they have no release, they willl publish a logo and a title, and hope to get bonus RP points from the scorinator who will assume that the release is in progress and award the benefit of the doubt, when in fact no release ever existed.

=- Vvvvv Iiiii Lllll Iiiii Ttttt Aaaaa -=

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/DSFemalesMedia.jpg

A Delay, A Challenge, and a Legends Entry

Back on another stinking airplane. Uhggg. Queen Sonya Sabre was really ready for some quality time at home. Long trips during the Cup of Harmony, Followed by splitting time between the Draggonnii Inviyatii and the Summer Olympiad in Ashford, Casari - where D&S did quite well for itself - A MD0 friendly played in Lexington SC and only one match at home. Now this tin can with wings again. She would have to see what could be done about earning frequent flyer miles - but then again, it was her plane wasn’t it?

After a solid performance against TnUI in the opener, the Mystical Unicorns were chomping at the bit to play against Socialist Romanistan. MD3 would see a trip to Fmjphoenix, so the three points from this match have become really important if D&S doesn’t want to fall behind early. Playing catch-up on the table was not a Unicorn strong suit.

As the Unicorns still have no opponent for the MD7.5 friendly, and the fact that it has been a while since our two squads have met, The Mystical Unicorns formally issue a challenge to Vilita to compete in a MD7.5 friendly in D&S. Hopefully Vilita will accept this challenge and we can see if the Unicorn Horn is still stuck in their side from previous meetings.

It has also been decided that the Mystical Unicorns all-time leading scorer, Altáriël Telperiën, will take part in the Legends Penalty Competition. Everyone that has faced us in the past knows full well just how dynamic a scorer she really is. Besides, everyone wants to see an Elf dressed in Pink win the thing anyway.

As uncontrollable circumstances have delayed the match with Socialist Romanistan, we have no news about results to actually report. We will bring you those results as soon as they are available.

Reply from the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Green Left Online Edition to baseless allegations from the VOIA (whoever you may be).

The editors wish to advise that our reporter was about to submit their commentary when they suffered a severe seizure. Comrades realised that the poor unfortunate had forgotten to take their medication that day and rushed to publication while they held up the local chemists.

We are all mortified by the association drawn between Errinundera and Liverpool England. They are about to thump us on the football field - do you have to make things worse?

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/GreenLeft.gif

To the staff of the Goongerah Green Left Online Edition,

We at the Az-cz Scroll are saddened to hear of the health accident of your reporter. In these times of trouble for your online media, we are willing to assist you by sending an editor. These are people who read the articles written by your reporters and check them for errors. Perharps if you had one of these people you wouldn't have released an unwritten article. You might think that an online edition can't have editors, but we assure you that it's quite easy to send the article to the editor and have the editor than upload it to the website, or distribute it to someone who can. It does add a little time and cost into the system, but it is more than worth it. We are more than willing to teach your staff about proper journalism and have a retired editor willing to travel to Errinundera to teach you about them in a spirit of friendship during the world cup qualifiers.

Jn-Tg
Editor in chief of Az-cz Scroll

OOC: I know a lot of this is late, but I was away for a week, so meh, here goes.

IC:
Three Rivers Times
“Voted ‘Best Crossword Puzzle’ five years running”

<<Note to the reader: Following the mysterious week-long blackout of all Aurendian media, we will take this opportunity to lessen some of the backlog of World Cup XXX related stories we have covered but been unable to release until now>>

2nd place finish in BoF leads to 135 ranking

THREE RIVERS – Following a Baptism of Fire finals defeat to Az-Cz, Aurendia premiered on the KPB rankings at 135th place going into World Cup qualifying.

When asked about his teams ranking and chances in the upcoming tourney, Coach Ed White reminded fans to be pragmatic. “I know we did well in the Baptism of Fire, but that was against other nations new to international football.” said White. “This time we’re going against teams that have been playing in World Cups since the beginning, so it will be a lot harder. The team will play hard, and we’ll see how everything goes, but don’t be shocked if we end up going home early.”

===============================================================
Defending champs, other tough squads stand in way of qualification in Group 3

SCHIAVONIA - With the announcement of group placement for World Cup XXX, the Raptors find themselves in a Group 3 that features the defending World Cup Champions, as well as a number of squads that Team Aurendia must overcome if they hope to advance onto the World Cup or Cup of Harmony.

Aurendia’s opponents in Group 3, and how the Raptors can expect to fare against them are as follows:
Casari (world ranking #4) – The defending World Champions, expect them to take 1st in the group. Expect them to easily dispatch the Raptors.
McPsychoville (24) – A strong team with a long history in the World Cup. Two more likely defeats for the Raptors.
Haraki (36) – Though ranked high, apparently they tend to choke. Raptors could get a win if everything goes well.
Iansisle (78) – Very successful in some of the earliest cups, but that was many years and a bloody revolution ago. Should be some close games, and the Raptors may be able to gain some points.
Tessan (102) – A team of knights. Actual, feudal knights. Who pledge allegiance to a King, and look down on so-called “commoners.” There are very few things offend Aurendians more than feudalism, aristocracy, classism, and absolute monarchy. Look for the Raptors to play extra aggressively in these games just from sheer pride. A win or two is very possible here.
Czariums (178) – Lost 2-0 to the Raptors in the second round of the Baptism of Fire. Look for that streak to continue, and Team Aurendia to gain six points from these matches.
Sel-Appa (unranked) – Little is known about this squad. Two matches should result in two Aurendia victories.

Schedule and Venues:
MD0: No match scheduled
MD1: Iansisle (78) vs AURENDIA at Iansisle
MD2: AURENDIA vs Haraki (36) at Capitals Park, Three Rivers, 70,100
MD3: Czariums (178) vs AURENDIA at Czariums
MD4: AURENDIA vs Casari (4) at AurendiCorp Field, Zeneri, 73,020
MD5: AURENDIA vs McPsychoville (24) at Etoka City Stadium, Etoka, 68,750
MD6: Tessan (102) vs AURENDIA at Tessan
MD7: AURENDIA vs Sel Appa (-) at “The Reef”, Southport, 62,325
MD7.5: friendly vs TBD at TBD
MD8: AURENDIA vs Iansisle at Johnson Stadium, Rock Ridge, 67,777
MD9: Haraki vs AURENDIA at Haraki
MD10: AURENDIA vs Czariums at Capitals Park, Three Rivers
MD11: Casari vs AURENDIA at Casari
MD12: McPsychoville vs AURENDIA at McPsychoville
MD13: AURENDIA vs Tessan at Etoka City Stadium, Etoka
MD14: Sel Appa vs AURENDIA at Sel Appa

===============================================================
Raptors release nude calendars as World Cup XXX begins

ETOKA - Alisdair I Frosticus announced a team of all porn stars. Dorian and Sonya sent a team wearing skirts as uniforms. Now add Aurendia to the list of nations that decided “XXX” is something more than just Roman numerals for “30”. Just in time for Late-Summer Gift-Based Holiday, the Aurendia Raptors have released a pair of 2007 nude wall calendars. Two calendars are to be released, entitled “Behind the Jerseys” and “SoccerBalls.” “Behind the Jerseys” showcases all 13 of the Raptors’ female players, wearing nothing but lovely smiles, while “SoccerBalls” features each of the 10 male players on the team, clad in uniforms that any ancient Greek would approve of. Each calendar is available for just 10 rendis, and all proceeds will go to benefit the Puppies for Orphans Foundation.

Team Captain and Miss August Cassandra Campbell answered several questions about the release of the calendars at a recent press conference. When asked why these calendars are being released, Campbell replied that the calendars are “A way to give something back to those fans who have supported us so far; a way to help out a great cause; and a way to cash in on this whole Triple X thing.” Campbell then added that, “This is our first World Cup. On the field we can reasonably expect to be out-classed by many of the squads in the tournament. As far as looks go though, we’re second to no-one, so why not take advantage of that. We may not end up being the Best Team, but we can sure be the Sexiest Team.”

The calendars should be available in stores by the end of the week.
===============================================================
Opponent sought for Match Day 7.5 Friendly

Anyone, anyplace: who wants to play us?

AFA President Ryan Santiago has sent a request to other nations competing in the World Cup looking for an opponent for the mid-round friendly on MD7.5. Despite opting to use the opening Match Day 0 to rest the squad, Match Day 7.5 will be used as a chance to gain experience for the young players.

Any interested nations are asked to contact the AFA offices in Three Rivers, expressing their desire to face the Raptors. The location of the match is open to discussion.
(OOC: just TG me, or do an IC response)

New Problems For Sea Dragons

Following the debacle that was the draw with the only unranked side in Group 12, the Sea Dragons had been returned to ASMV and secluded away from the media. Intense sessions were being run. Hard practices that would show whether or not the old-timers were going to be kept around. ASMV had never made roster changes once the qualifiers had begun save for Alexander being called up following a St Martinique injury in WC25 against Spaam.

But the Sea Dragons were now on the verge of some major trouble. WC29 had seen the Sea dragons qualify for the third time only to be completely embarrassed at the hands of Starblaydia and Rejistania before finally winning against Quakmybush. The Draggonnii Inviyatii had been the best thus far for the home squad, but that was still not good enough to compete with the likes of Casari, Star, Sarzonia, or Jeruselem.

The friendly with Cuation on MD0 seemed to mean very little in its 1-3 loss, but when combined with the draw against an unranked, it seemed to come to mean much more.

Seven of the Sea Dragon starting eleven were now thirty-four years of age or older and three were forty plus. Hope had been that the experience factor would be a great favor for ASMV. That now needed rethinking. Porche Alexander and Pablo Iglesias have been performing far below what is acceptable - a trend that dates back to WC29. With Leena Draghi and Ali Devincenti playing very well, it is now time to decide who should be on the pitch at forward.

Other players have now come into the spotlight of scrutiny for their play as well. Allyson Shade, Micah Swift and Jenni Ulrich are under the microscope as well. And also the unthinkable may be happening. Evan Evans job as captian of the Sea Dragons as well as his starting position may be endangered as well.

The problem for Pao St Martinique is that his squad carries few reserves. In the past they just havent been needed. But this is no longer the case. Joining the Sea Dragons in their secluded practices and workouts are no less than 30 of the best younger Vegan players from clubs and colleges across the nation. Rumor has it that even one high school player has been called in to be looked at.

So what does all this mean for the Sea Dragons? We cant be sure just yet as things will take time to be sorted out. But it is clear that several starters will have to improve their play to stay on the pitch. A few of those will be lucky to make it through the qualifiers even on the bench. And ASMV is now beginning the process for a major revamp of the Sea Dragon roster. The only question is when this will happen. The visit from Green Wombat just might be the straw that breaks the dragon’s back if ASMV fails to take the three points.



Opponent sought for Match Day 7.5 Friendly

Anyone, anyplace: who wants to play us?



The Sea Dragons got to see a lot of Aurendia in the BoF where your squad did quite well. We would be happy to travel to Aurendia for a MD7.5 friendly with you. Hope to see you then.

News item from the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Green Left Online Edition.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/GreenLeft.gif

WE WERE WRONG

There were 2 errors in the recent response from this news organisation.

1) The response should have read, "and held up publication while they rushed to the local chemists" instead of, "and rushed to publication while they held up the local chemists". We are categorically opposed to armed robbery.

2) There are no chemists in Errinundera. They all went broke decades ago when the government took over the distribution and sale of drugs.

The editors are still determining who filed the report so that blame can be assigned.

Please note also that the reporter who suffered the seizure died due to complictions from the attack. The comrades were unable to find a government distribution centre that was open.

Southport News
“We don’t need a slogan. We’re just boring like that.”

Raptors can’t hold lead in World Cup opener, fall 3-2 to Iansisle

WESTERGATE FOOTBALLING GROUNDS, IANSISLE – For one half at least, Aurendia was the better team. Following the national anthems the Raptors opened up the match with the fast aggressive style of offence that led to second place in the Baptism of Fire. Iansisle’s defense was able to weather the onslaught until the 23rd minute, when Aurendia was awarded a corner kick. Captain Cassandra Campbell took the kick, and found younger sister Ashley who put it past Sherman Cumberland, much to the shock of the Iansisle crowd.

An Iansisle push in the 36th was broken up at the midfield by Adam Rusic, resulting in a second Aurendia goal. Rusic passed forward to Jessica Colenti, who found Matt Sanchez open in front of the goal, and it was 2-0 Raptors.

The second half opened with continued pressure from Team Aurendia’s offense, but the Ians had tightened up their side of the field, and the Raptors couldn’t manage further goals. In the 66th, Iansisle cut the lead to 1, with Tim Boyen finding Spencer Madigan at the corner of the box. Liza Kohl couldn’t stop the high shot, and the score now stood at 2-1. Seven minutes later Iansisle struck again, as Madigan headed in a corner kick from Timothy Cooper.

The 2-2 tie led to a line-up change for the Raptors, as forwards Sanchez and Regina Dunlop came off in favor of midfield help from Tara Pellegri and Randy Floyd. The 3-5-1 almost held the draw, until the penalty trouble struck in the 89th. Midfielder Jeff Yaneohe was too aggressive bringing down Tim Boyen, and the referee awarded the penalty kick to Iansisle. Ians coach Henry Feeley chose Phil Ward for the kick, and the choice paid off as Ward sent the ball past a diving Kohl.


Scoring:
1. A (A. Campbell 1) 23rd (Assist: C. Campbell)
2. A (M. Sanchez 1) 38th (Assist: J. Colenti)
3. I (S. Madigan 1) 66th (Assist: T. Boyen)
4. I (S. Madigan 2) 73rd (Assist: T. Cooper)
5. I (P. Ward 1) 89th PK

===============================================================
Sea Dragons to meet Raptors in friendly

ETOKA – Aurendia recently played quite a few games of football in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, but at no point did the Raptors actually face the Baptism of Fire hosts. This will change on Match Day 7.5, as the Sea Dragons from Andossa Se Mitrin Vega have gracefully accepted the invitation to face the Aurendia Raptors in a friendly match. The match will be held in the 68,750-seat Etoka City Stadium, during the half-way point of the opening round of World Cup qualifying.

This is what I call the RP Cutoff for Matchday 2

Sativaville [4-0] Sashonska

Every Sashonskan expected their nation to have a good debut at the World Cup, as they had very talented and experienced players in the league.
However, they didn't seem to be able to face such huge pressure and the lack of World Cup-experience saw them losing 4-0 against a very strong Sativaville.

The match started out even, though the Sashonskan attack didn't seem to be able to get through the 5-man defense of Sativaville.
Sativaville then was able to exploit Sashonska's weaknesses and in he 35th and 40th Sativaville's forward ''Emmanuel Adelman" could score two easy goals because of some holes in the defense.
The result was a very dissapointing first half for Sashonska.

The Half-Time talk of Sashonska's coach seemed to work, Sashonska started out the Second Half with some very good build-ups and forwards "Devin Defail" and "Dustin Zear" got some nice shots on goal, however, no goal came.

With 15 minutes to go, Sativaville went out on attack again, resulting in two more goals, scored by "Adelman" and "Timmermann".

Cuation Fail to Break Lisburn Hearts

Mannovich, an average Cuation man, worked at the car factory and loved his little sport, even played striker for his factory team. Today was his day off so he sat down to a nice cup of tea and read his little paper, Cuation Daily, especially the Cuation match.

Well Lisburn came away with a good 0-0 draw leaving Cuation having dropped two points in the game that, on paper, they should have won. Still Lisburn's back line played very well to restrict chances and frustrate a strong Cuation attack.

While Cuation controlled the game in a 4-4-2 formation but they couldn't sparkle going forward, part in thanks to man of the match, David Irwin who shielded the defence and often cut out passes or blocked bursts forward by a midfielder.

Cuation's defence was solid and Jude had little to do but Lisburn did not get forward and so any chance of a counter attack was stuck, Cuation forced to try and either break through or wait for a chance to open up. Cuation tried to wait but in the end, only created three chances.

In the 43rd minute, another of Cuation's passing moves went out wide to Giovanni. Pushing forward, he faced the formidable Scott Mitchalls but faking a cross, he sent the defender sprawling as he burst clear. A pin point cross to the near post found Lu Fei but the tall striker's header, directed downward, bounced off the turf and over.

In the fifty minute, Samba's long ball was flicked into the box by Lu Fei, Rual Mendiz and Manuel Gucho both challenged for it, the ball flicking of Gucho's leg as the defender slid in. Rual Mendiz recovered his feet and seemed certain to score but the ever alert Brian Livingston was quick off his line, smothering the shot with his falling body.

With half an hour left, the Cuation manager made two changes, replacing the front two with Pual Keane and Heksey Anderton. Despite the freshness up front, still Cuation did not look like getting a goal.

In fact, they nearly conceded, Neville losing out to McCann and as Samba went to cover, he cut inside, drawing a foul from the tired holding player. It was outside the box but the ref, perhaps caught out by the speed of the player, gave a penalty.

Dominic Patton stepped forward to taking it against Jude, the young keeper had little to do before this but did his best to put the striker off, dancing across his line. Patton's penalty was at mid height and weak, Jude diving to his right to make a comfortable but important save, Philip Neville making up for his error by putting the ball out for a throw in.

With ten minutes left, Philip came off for his brother Gary to add some fresh legs onto the right. Five minutes remained when Gary took a long throw, Anderton flicking it on towards the run of Keane. The striker seemed to panic, heading it straight at the keeper, Livingston gathering it at the second attempt.

When the final whistle blew, the Cuation players seemed frustrated and disappointed, they knew they had to do better as a few impatient fans booed the team off the field.

Shot of the Match

Lu Fei's header was by the rules, downwards and across the keeper but he was unlucky, the ball bouncing off the turf and over the bar. Still says a lot about the match and the penalty that this is the shot of the game.

Save of the Match

The penalty may have not been well hit but Jude Tanner did well to save it, diving full length to his right to push the ball away. The keeper has done well in his last two games, Gary Jens may find it hard to break back into the team.

Ref Watch

Didn't have much to do as both teams behaved themselves but for the most part did a good job. The penalty error was probably due to fitness more then bad judgement, he may need to work on getting up the pitch quicker as well.

Moan of the Match

Cuation's lack of attacking edge, we should beat a team of this quality at home, not an ideal start to our bid to finally qualify. With Giovanni, Fallen, Lu Fei and Rual Mendiz, someone should have opened up the game but nobody worked their magic.

Man of the Match

No Cuation player really played well enough to deserve this so we decided to go with one of the Lisburn players, the excellent David Irwin did so much to nullify Cuation's attempts to score. Could be a big player if Lisburn are to do well.

Next Game

Cuation travel to former giants Sliponia, who are struggling from years in the international wilderness but may yet rise to their former heights. Their attacking approach could prove helpful for us, if Cuation can defend well then they should have the control the game a bit and counter attack. Need to get a win after the Lisburn game to get a good start going, I think we will manage it with a 4-4-2, Mendiz and Lu Fei to get off the mark.

[OOC: A bit late, yes, but I've just moved back to university for the fall and have had minimal computer time the last couple days...]

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

Hollins denies post-match rumors, as expected

SONOMA CITY -- In the wake of the Bedistan national team's opening match of World Cup xXx qualifying against Alasdair I Frosticus at Fillmore National Stadium, attacking midfielder Leonard Hollins has had to suddenly take a more defensive stance faced with allegations about an incident with opposing player Francesca "Hot" Totty after the match.

"In a word: ludicrous," Hollins stated at a press conference, and he said no more after that.

"He's joking, right?" asked a random man walking along Ninth Street just outside the stadium. "They did it right there on the bloody pitch! I saw it live on BSTV!"

The BSD has inquired of Bedistan Sports Television whether the recordings of the broadcast could be reviewed, but we have yet to hear a response.

More on this story as it develops.

~!~!~!~ Jungle Cat Wrap ~!~!~!~



It has been so long since the Vilita Jungle Cats played a friendly match, that the files documenting the time, place, opposition and result of that match have long since been locked away in a place to remote to acquire that information before press time. However, it has also been a long time since the Vilita Jungle Cats have been formally challenge into a friendly spar between nations, and no better opposition then a fellow member of Atlantian Oceania, Dorian and Sonya. The two nations are currently in good political standing, as most nations are with the typically neutral Tropics of Vilita, but are also in good competitive standing, so the match, set to take place in Dorian and Sonya on the next pre-set International Matchday is sure to be one of both fitness and enjoyment for the two sides.

In related news, It is rumored that Vilitan legend Callum Banda may be set for a return to the National Side in the previously mentioned friendly against Dorian and Sonya, after getting his sporting flame re-ignited in preparation for the World Cup xXx Legends shootout, which Banda intends to submit an application to take part in.

....... T T o V .......

Ok Matchday Two Scores are avalible here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11569957#post11569957)

Odakale Hattrick Justifies Selection

Game 2
Yafor 2 4 - Lylybium 2

THE ZYDRAKOS DOME, AJER, YAFOR 2 - It was a warm, sunny afternoon in Ajer as the fifty-first ranked team in the world, the Golden Wolves of Yafor 2 were set to play the two-hundred-and-seventh ranked team in the world, Lylybium. The result might not have been ideal. After a tie against the Eagles of Virginia Nova, Lisa Simpson was looking to show that she deserved to have been selected against the lowest ranked team in the group. The scoreline didn't show just how thoroughly she proved that she indeed was the deserving coach of the Golden Wolves.

The game started off and immediatly it was evident that, at least on the wings, the Golden Wolves were the better team. In the middle, young superstar Prince Sebard, who scored in the 49th minute against Virginia Nova, in the first game, was having a field day. With the outside wingers, especially the right midfielder, Damiel Fraten, he made a lot of 1-2s and give-and-gos, playing the ball down the line as often as he could. Against the Lylybium midfielders, he was full of his tricks, opening his bag of secret plays and darting past the Lylybium players, one after another, like they were standing still.

The first goal came from the foot of Idurv Odakale. Odakale, a virtual unknown, was selected by Ms. Simpson in a surprise move that drew of a lot of criticism and flak not very long ago. The goal itself came on a Sebard pass, as the center midfielder dribbled past a series of his opponents, laying a pass to the back post, where an onsides Odakale was there to tap it in. It was not a difficult goal, but it did a little to relieve the pressure - after all, the first goal came in the 23rd minute! The Yaforite fans were getting anxious and this goal did just enough to sate their appetite.

The second goal came four minutes later, again from Odakale. After a bruising attack by the Lylybium offense, the Golden Wolves looked to surge back on a counter-attack lead by left midfielder Kiral Portition. Portition gave a beautiful pass to an unmarked Odakale, who, dodging a defender as he flipped the ball aside, thundered his shot into the back of the net. He struck it cleanly and strongly, and it was a no-doubter, the minute he hit it. Unfortunatly for the Yaforite fans, Lylybium looked at another chance, as a misplaced clearance by left defender Agorala'an Nivor went straight to the feet of the Lylybium striker and thus, an easy goal. This came in the 42nd minute.

The second half began with the score 2-1. The Yaforites came storming out of the gate, with a strong Sebard run, capped off by a well-timed strike by Iktam Velastros. Velastros was the unheralded player of the day. Despite the fact that he was on the scoreboard, he was outshone by his companion forward. Velastros played a good game, putting pressure on up-front and playing unselfishly. Lylybium got a bit of a breather in the 68th minute on an own goal by center defender Binyama'en Shableat, but Odakale returned the favor on a penalty five minutes later.

The next Yaforite opponent is top group seeds Arridia, in Arridia. This was a worthawile effort, particularily up front, but the Golden Wolves need to tighten up their defense if they expect to compete with the world's best.

-Excerpt from The Ajerite Sun.

The Winchestia Times Presents:
World Cup xXx Review, Or:
"We Are Winchestia Two-Two"

Perhaps, like the great fictional team "Northern Ireland One-Nil" from the great fictional universe "Earth", having a score in our title will bring good, or at least average, luck. However, unlike "NI 1-0", we really do exist, and really do play football.

The opponent tonight was the nation of Benlandngdo, a nation this report had a very hard time pronouncing. Their football was good, but 2 goals from Levi Duman (starting in place of the slightly knocked Dallas Marayan up front) was enough to to secure what could be a vital away point. Winchestia have now drawn against 2 higher seeded teams, however qualification still looks bleak after the domination shown by Liverpool England (last matchday) and The Lowland Clans (last night). Winchestia currently sits 6th in the table with 2 points.

Manager Shawl announces team for TLC
Manager Jody Shawl has announced the team for what could be Winchestia's biggest home date yet, the encounter with The Lowland Clans at the newly-refurbished 55,000 seat Higgleton Stadium. Surprisingly, Shawl is going back to the 4-4-2 after two high scoring draws in the 5-4-1. Tinley is still suspended for his red card against Chicanada.

Seruss -- Neice, Cam, Pop, Billiot -- Bodle, Hartney, Pavin (c, free kicks), Melland -- Duman, Marayan (pen)

Sharks Barely Snake By

The Quakmybush Sharks continued their World Cup 30 qualifying run yesterday. The team almost lost, but played through it and won 2-1 against opponents Ten Thousand Maggots. Owen Targreeev is still in hospital but will be ready for Quakmybush's next game. The game started quickly with a Ten Thousand Maggots player scored in the 3rd minute. This shocked the Quakmybush team. In the 38th minute Jon Fields scored a goal to make it a 1-1 game. The game went to half time with the same score. The game was winding down. It was the 89th minute and everyone was shocked by the score. However, coach and player Greg Hughes let a laser beam go from the top of the box to make it 2-1 Quakmybush. That is how the game ended. The team now has a record of 2-0-0 at the top of their group. The next game for the team will be against Hockey Canada in Hockey Canada. This will be the first true test for the team.

Bostopia W 4-0
at Ten Thousand Maggots W 2-1
at Hockey Canada
Giant Zucchini
Palixia
The Archregimancy
at Demot
at Bostopia
Ten Thousand Maggots
Hockey Canada
at Giant Zucchini
at Palixia
at The Archregmancy
Demot

Scorers
Jon Fields - 3
Cory Sorely - 1
Chris Bricking - 1
Greg Hughes - 1

((OOC- no luck logging in again- another Tynelia RP))

“Hello soccer fans. Today team Tynelia made it two in a row with a hard fought 3-2 win over a surprisingly tough Montegrande team. I’m Mike McPhee and along with Dana Lee this is Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s post game report. This win allowed the team to remain tied in points with Starblaydia and Bettia both of whom won as well though at the moment Tynelia stands third in goal differential. But this is turning into a strange World Cup here Dana, five goals after only two matches and already allowing three?”

“Yes it’s a very unusual situation for Tynelia to be in right now. In our past two Cups 5 goals would be a good first half and allowing three an average half of group play. Given the competition one has to wonder if Amy Whiteworth has lost a step and that Tom Gordman or Jim Michaels might benefit from a start.”

“Well at least the offense is awakened, I don’t think Coach Billington will have much to complain about the offense so far. This is a very good offensive start for the team. Jay Masterson added a pair of first half goals which got the team back to even at half time after being down 1-0 and 2-1 earlier. The second half saw both teams buckle down defensively until Anya Collins put in the difference maker at the 72nd minute of play and the defense made it stand. Still a tough home opener.”

“Yes it is Mike but in a way this is a good sign. First despite the tough efforts in the first two matches Tynelia managed to take wins rather than draws or losses as they have in the past. Secondly this will get the team match tough with the killer three match road trip coming up after the Wrecker match. And Wrecker has shown they can put up some offense as well so this will be another tough match I think.”

“Still that match will be interesting for at least the fact that this is the first ever international soccer match to be played in the new ‘Sun Stadia’ in the coastal city of Varrik. Add to that the chance to go 3-0-0 before facing Starblaydia and the crowd should be really pumped up for this match.”

“So far the seeding are holding up as expected here Mike, Starblaydia recovered from their slow first match with a convincing 4-0 win over Nikea who we only managed to beat 2-1. That seems to show that we do have a bit of a reach to stay with Starblaydia in our coming match. The first battle of contenders took place as well with Bettia edging Awal KB by a 2-1 score. A sign of strength for the fourth seed or weakness in the second? Finally Wrecker and Spindomia forgot all about defense as Spindomia won 4-3.Like you said before Mike, this puts the top three seeds all at 2-0-0 after two matches.”

“Well let’s see what Coach Billington has to say about today, we have him live via satellite and here he is now. Hello Coach.”

<Coach Billington appears on the screen>

“Hello Mike and Dana. How are you today?”

“Just fine Coach. And you must be feeling pretty going coming out of the gates at 2-0-0 so far.”

“Yes, we’re doing ok so far Mike but the biggest test will be coming up soon. Still we can’t look past Wrecker, they put up three goals today and that’s something to worry about.”

“Speaking of goals. Are you concerned that Amy Whiteworth has allowed three goals already against teams ranked in the hundreds?”

“It is a bit of a concern yes Dana. She’s played well and that first Montegrande goal no one was going to be able stop no matter who they were. But yes, we just need to give her a bit of a break, she’s not the youngster that came out of nowhere back in WC27. I may give Jim a go this next match so Amy will be fresh for Starblaydia and Bettia.”

“Any particular reason you’re choosing Michaels over Tom Gordman for this start Coach?”

“Well, IF I decide to do it its because Jim has some international experience already in the last minute DI team. Considering the team was the lowest ranked team of the six in the group he managed to allow only one goal a match so he might be relieved to face a lower seed for a change. Tom is the future of our team but he’s a bit raw at this point.”

“At least offense isn’t a concern for you so far Coach.”

<Billington knocks on wood>

“So far so good there Mike. The team seems to like this style offensively at least , it’s a bit more wide open than what they’re used to and they’re taking advantage of the open spaces. While its good to see them scoring right now, the big test of the new offensive scheme will of course be when we face Starblaydia and Bettia. But compared to past teams, its very encouraging to see that we can put the ball in the net against the teams ranked below us. We’ve had trouble with that in the past. Hopefully we can keep this up.”

“OK coach, great win today and good luck against Wrecker.”

“Thanks Mike”
<Billington’s image fades away>

“So Dana should Coach Billington be a bit more confident here? I mean he’s undefeated and with wins not draws so far?”

“I think he’s just being cautious Mike. In the past I’ve interviewed other coaches who also thought they had solved the scoring problem in the past only to see the team run into one of their scoreless streaks that inevitably killed off their chances. So I think he’ll wait until after the road matches against the big two of the group before deciding just how effective the offense is.”

“I think you could be right there. Tynelia in general always seems to keep their fingers crossed when it comes to offense. I don’t know if the keeper situation isn’t more serious than he makes it though.”

“Like Coach Billington alluded to, at 34 Amy Whiteworth could very well be playing her final World Cup and with Gordman still inexperienced putting Jim Michaels in to give her a rest here and there might actually be the right move Mike. Whiteworth is no longer able to play through the entire Cup herself without a break. And this is probably a good time to rest her to ease Michaels into things.”

“Kind of ironic there Dana how Micahels’ last minute entry into the DI actually gave him the experience that would make Coach Billington comfortable with tossing him into a World Cup group match. Without that Billington may have been tempted to keep Whiteworth in.”

“That’s a distinct possibility Mike, fortunately the team did decide to bring a third keeper. It might turn out to be the difference between qualifying and falling short again.”

“OK Dana, its prediction time. Tynelia vs. Wrecker at home, who wins?”

“Normally Mike I would think this would be a comfortable Tynelian win because of the team’s defense. However the way things are now I think Tynelia will win but in another high scoring match for us. 3-2 Tynelia is how I see it. Michaels would be a bit of a question mark if he did play and Whiteworth has only been average so far if she gets the nod.”

“OK then Dana, that’s all the time we have for today. Our Tynelia-Wrecker match coverage from the Sun Stadia will start a half hour earlier than usual so we can take a look at this new construction that could very well share Tynelia’s international matches for years to come. After the match stay tuned for our pst match show. But until then I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee for Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

DFC COMES OUT WITH A TIE!

St.Myhre - Yes it was all over the news last night, every radio, every channel, every news paper to day. Delesa pulled out a tie with the ranked 13th football team Jeruselem. Well some teams might be 'oh a tie, big woop.' But not here. Being ranked 151 after coming out of the BoF as a qualifer, DFC is able to tie with a team in the top 15! James Clare held the Jeruselem offence at bay, but Micheal McShane just wasnt able to get or even buy a goal past the Jeruselem goal tender. Yes our heads arnt as high as if it were a win, but they are still high, with such a out come. Yes, i believe this team shall go far in the years to come.

Until then, Im Dan Richard of Delesa Edge Football News, saying good bye and until next time!

News items from the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Green Left Online Edition

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McKILLOPS BRIDGE PENALISED

Reigning EFA (”http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_Football_Association”) Premier League champions, McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge), have been forced by the Association to forfeit all its remaining home games this season.

“It wasn’t an easy decision to make,” says EFA president, uashe. “The second Kingfisher home game at the Wulgulmerang Recreation Reserve (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_Football_Association#Wulgulmerang_Recreation_Reserve) proved to be as disastrous as the first. Hundreds of people were injured, some severely, by the crush. The association has a duty to look after the safety of the fans. Clearly, the Kingfishers are unable to find a suitable ground for their home games. We cannot allow this mayhem to continue.”

“That is crap,” was the response of nervose, McKillops Bridge club president. “The decision was made before the start of the season by a cabal that were envious of our success. We will have the last laugh, though. This is the last year Milosis will host World Cup matches at their skangy Coliseum (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Milosis_Coliseum)."

The president’s confidence is based on the Kingfisher’s new 70,000-seat stadium that will be completed in time for next season. At the moment the team has won all six of the matches it has played. Even if it wins all 16 remaining away games it is most unlikely they can win the championship for a ninth time.

A NEW TREE FOR RODGERERS

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Rodger River (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rodger_River) mayor, reeada, has announced that, with the assistance of the Sacred Tree Registry, a new sacred tree (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sacred_Tree) (pictured above with the mayor) has been selected to replace the recently fallen MONDA. “We are so lucky to have several trees to choose from. The senior arborist from the registry, imbert, has advised us that this particular specimen will be good for another 150 years. A committee has been formed to select an appropriate name. We have had thousands of suggestions from many Rodgerers and one of them is immensely popular. Until an official announcement is made I can’t reveal any more.”

PITCHED BATTLE ON LIVERPOOL ENGLAND PITCH
SECURITY GUARDS 3, EXECUTIVES 0

The World Cup xXx match today between Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) and Liverpool England (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Liverpool_England) was interrupted today when protesters stormed the pitch to air their grievances about executive pay scales in Liverpool England. Private security forces also rushed on to the ground and an all out battle continued for over two hours, before order was restored and the match could continue. Unconfirmed reports state that 3 executives were killed and 15 injured. One security guard has been injured.

Knuckles McPhee, spokesperson for the rioting executives, claims that his members have been exploited for far too long. “We carry Liverpool England. If not for us this economy would implode. We demand that our salaries be tripled and that we be exempted from paying income tax.”

Unfortunately for the potoroos, Liverpool England forward Anthony Langer scored a clever goal just as the mayhem erupted. Errinundrian goalie, lúthient, was unsighted by a placard that read, “The 7 Demands of Highly Effective People”. What those demands are, can’t be ascertained at this stage as they were written in small print on the other side and couldn’t be read.

The final scoreline of 1-nil was in contrast to Errinundera’s 2 previous international matches where a total of 13 goals were scored. Team captain, keok, was upbeat about the loss, however. “We played away against the number 5 team in the world and kept them to 1 goal. We have shown we can mix it with the best.” When asked about the riot on the pitch she was non-committal. “Errinundrians have a distrust of both business people and law enforcers so we think they thoroughly deserve each other.”

Az-Cz TO REPLACE V & I ?

Vuam and Isma have failed to repond to the invitation from the Errinundera Football Association (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_Football_Association) and the Department of Journalism at the McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge) Polytechnic to co-convene a course on Creative Journalism this coming semester. Fortunately Az-Cz (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Az-cz) have offered the services of an experienced editor.

“We would be delighted if the unnamed editor co-convened the course,” said artolf, head of the department. “Getting someone from Vilita (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Vilita) also would be fantastic. The Vilitans are famous for their creative reportage.”

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Moon-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

No stumbling over the stubling block

Ever since Khenas, an unranked in WC 28, beat us twice we in the Milchamian press have tried to figure out our "stumbling block" or team that we should beat with a low ranking that we lose too. This year's candidate was Alif Laam Miim who at rank 190 or so seemed like a good candidate. However, we did not stumble over them but in fact beat them 2-1 after a pair of second half goals from Barret M. Lonnen and Marin Keffer. Coach Jamie Smith said, "I expected a let down after that 4-0 thwumping of the Rappers but this was a good let down. We got the win and the three points. And most importantly it looks like it is going to be us and Oliverry fighting it out for the win after those damn Frenchies had a pair of impressive showings..." Now for a match report as announced by Milchama TV 2, if its not TV 2 then its probably good TV.

1st minute: The teams are coming out on the pitch and the Warriors have the same lineup as the team that beat Toopoxia 4-0. Alif Laam Miim comes out in a 4-4-2 with Muslim and Islam the two forwards.

5th minute: Clufor on the ball and he passes to Lonnen. Lonnen looked very poor against Toopoxia but is starting strong now as he skips past his man. He passes and the buildup continues. Clufor now, over to Keffer, over to Kilinin. She runs past her man and crosses! Cleared away by the Maam defense. Good playing there by both sides.

7th minute: Warriors on the attack, Clufor over, no intercepted by Alif who passes over to Laam who finds Miim. Miim looking forward and from the midfield kicks a hopeful towards the forwards. No offside flag up and Muslim is the first there! It's him against Finton and its 1-0 Alif Laam Miim. It looks like the newspapers are right and they will be our stumbling block. Of course they did give the Warriors 83 minutes to equalize which should be plenty of time.

15th minute: Miim again on the attack. Miim over to Islam who shoots, SAVED by Clay Finton! He keeps it 1-0 but only just.

21st minute: Free kick oppurtunity for the Warriors. Keffer stands over the ball and goes for goal! Saved by the keeper and they come out on a counter attack. Alif forward to Laam forward to Islam who finds Muslim going all alone. Its 1 on 1 again and its Finton who wins this time as he goes on a suicide charge and dive but comes up with the ball to keep it 1-0.

35th minute: Miim over to Laam who takes a shot and its saved but the rebound goes to Islam but its taken by Chase Mergle who clears and its still only 1-0 Alif Laam Miim.

42nd minute: Clufor finally orchestrating an attack but it looks like he doesn't trust his teammates as he tries to take on 4 defenders by himself, wait nevermind as he finds a sprinting Kilinin on the outside. She beats the defense and shoots! saved by the keeper but at least a chance for the Warriors.

44th minute: Keffer on the ball. And Wow! he beats one defender two defenders and is now on the 18 yard box. He now outruns a third, skips past a 4th and shoots! high but what an effort. This kid is coming into his own and is starting to almost be godmod good.

45th minute: Well despite being outplayed for most of the first half the Warriors did come back at the end with some good play. The second half looks to be good.

51st minute: Kilinin on the ball, She beats her man and tries to cross it but its cleared only as far as Lonnen though. He sidesteps into shooting position and shoots! 1-1!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!! Lonnen with a typical Lonnen goal. The new Brickell United recruit should feel good about that goal as he did what he does best, namely score a long range goal.

54th minute: Clufor on the ball, as he lays it off to Albentine. Over to Spot Nielson, Nielson looking for an outlet but finds none so he beats his man off the dribble to try to create an oppurtunity but he won't be able to as he is dragged down right outside of the box. No foul though despite the protests of the Milchamians. Nothing there.

70th minute: The Warriors are desperately looking for the equalizer now. They've gone to a 2-3-1-4 with Hansen being subbed out for Joseph and Keffer moving back into a connecter role. Now its Keffer on the ball. Keffer going forward and tries to find an outlet but can't. He beats his man though and is now a threat. He sees Albentine and picks him out. Floren trying to get to the ball but he'll be beaten by the defense as they team up and clear.

80th minute: Albentine on the ball. Not known for his dribbling but here he goes, one man gone, tw- nevermind he passes to Kelvin Joseph who is known for scoring clutch goals. Joseph looks around and thinks about his options about 25 yards from goal. He takes a step forward and passes back to Keffer. Marin Keffer on the ball, now Keffer has it. The Alif Laam Miim defense all take a step back and Keffer charges. Around one player, two players, three players, he steps back fakes a shot and is now about 12 yards out as he cracks one. IT'S IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2-1 Milchama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marin Keffer has scored what looks to be the winning goal in the 80th minute to give the Warriors the lead.

90th minute: Miim on one final attack. He passes over to Laam over to Alif looking but Mergle steps in front and stops them and he clears AND THAT'S THE WHISTLE!!!!! 2-1 Milchama win! The first half they might have looked flat but the second half they outclasses their opponents to take the win easily 2-1, no stumbling block here.

Final Score:
Milchama 2 (Lonnen 51, Keffer 80)
Alif Laam Miim 1 (Muslim 7)

Raging Penguins Report:
A huge upset win for The Team as they beat the Ox people of Qasox 1-0 at home. Their tank formation worked perfectly, I have to say.

Milchama (Wo)Man of the Match:
Sure everybody looked impressive in the second half but nobody looked better throughtout the game then Elana Kilinin. Her play was solid in the first half when she had and spectacular in the second with both her dummy runs and her crosses to create chances. We need more performances like this from her.

Sel Appa Sweeps Czariums 3-0 in NSWC 30 Qualifiers

"And now to Aaron for Sports..." said May Jin, Sel Appa News anchor said

"Thank you, May. First off, we'll talk about football. In their second qualifier match for the NSWC 30 qualifiers, Sel Appa defeated Czariums 3-0. A complete turnaround from The Turtles' 3-1 loss to Casari. This match saw some amazing action and had a few surprises. The first goal by Sel Appa was scored by striker REHSOM Lee, who sent the ball gracefully past the Czariums's keeper in the 23rd minute. The match continued with only a few advances by Czariums and two shots on goal, one was headed by Sel Appa's keeper KASHCHENKO Vasily and the other he caught in his hands. As the first half approached conclusion, Sel Appa's ESTEVEZ surprised the Czariums's goalie with a straight shot head-on in the 44th minute.

The second half brought little activity as neither side could advance until the 78th minute when a kick that was supposed to be a pass to ESTEVEZ by midfielder PATETTE Colin slammed into the net bringing the scoreline to 3-0. The match ended at that scoreline with Sel Appa victorious, pulling them up the ranks in their group for qualifications.

On the screen now is an update of the current group standings:"

Team: |P|W|L|D|GF|GA|NG|PTS
-------------|-|-|-|-|--|--|--|---
Casari |2|2|0|0| 7| 1|+6| 6
McPsychoville|2|2|0|0| 6| 1|+5| 6
Sel Appa |2|1|1|0| 4| 3|+1| 3
Iansisle |2|1|1|0| 3| 6|-3| 3
Aurendia |2|0|1|1| 5| 6|-1| 1
Haraki |2|0|1|1| 4| 6|-2| 1
Tessan |2|0|1|1| 2| 5|-3| 1
Czariums |2|0|1|1| 2| 5|-3| 1

"As you can see, The Turtles are in third place in their group and so far are doing well. Let's hope they can keep this up with a win against Haraki. and now on to local football..."

Etoka Journal-Tribune
“Now with larger print for those hung-over mornings”

Raptors earn first point in draw with Haraki

THREE RIVERS – Haraki’s Hawks and the Raptors traded goals all night in Three Rivers, and the result was a 3-3 draw and the first point for both squads in World Cup XXX standings.

Haraki drew first blood in the 20th, as Julie Vern found Matthew Thompson streaking down the left side. Thompson beat defender Bart Sheriff and put the ball in the top corner. The Raptors evened the score 12 minutes later, when Ashley Campbell headed in a pass from Jessica Colenti. Haraki regained the one goal lead just before the half; Mike Zendar taking the pass from Thomas Neils and beating Raptors goalie Liza Kohl.

Halftime saw the fans in a crowded Capitals Park get loud, get rowdy, and get naked; estimates place the number of streakers at just over seventy during the break. Energized by their fans, the Raptors came out firing, and tied the game up in the 56th as Regina Dunlop scored on a Cassandra Campbell corner kick. The draw held for nearly 20 minutes, until Haraki’s Julie Vern struck again. Haraki gained possession at midfield when Richard Weber stole the ball from Adam Rusic, and passed to Vern. Vern then maneuvered past all three Raptors’ defenders to put Haraki up 3-2. Rather than collapse, Team Aurendia kept up the pressure, and scored the final equalizer with just two minutes remaining when Ashley Campbell’s second goal of the match tied it up, off a corner kick from older sister Cassandra.


Scoring:
1. H (M. Thompson) 20th (Assist: J. Vern)
2. A (A. Campbell 2) 32nd (Assist: J. Colenti)
3. H (M. Zendar) 41st (Assist: T. Neils)
4. A (R. Dunlop 1) 56th (Assist: C. Campbell)
5. H (J. Vern) 75th (Assist: R. Weber)
6. A (A. Campbell 3) 88th (Assist: C. Campbell)

Konigseifert Chronicle
Back on Their Feet
Geisenfried edges System Karela in 1-0 match.

After a disappointing opener, the Geisenfried national team returned to Konigseifert looking to make up to their disappointing loss to Dance 2 Revolution. Their opponents for the match were System Karela, reeling from a 3-0 home loss to Rejistania, but despite the score, were still renowned for their defense. The result was a close game, until captain Samuel Wolfe managed to pierce through the Karelan defense to capitalize on their best opportunity, resulting in a 1-0 victory for the Golden Eagles.

The first half was, depending on your point of view, dominated by the Golden Eagles... they consistenly held the ball in the SK side of the half, with most of the feeble attacks being sent back up by Graf, Schlegel and Wagner. However, the Karelans, who seemed pretty reluctant to move the ball anyways, and their nine man defensive formation meant that chances on goal were very low. The second half began with the game still scoreless. And for the first quarter hour of the half, it seemed to stay the same. However, in the 63rd minute, on a particularly hard offensive, the Golden Eagles managed to force a corner kick. Canitz fired the ball high, and Wolfe, though in the thick of several defenders, managed to get his head to the ball first, sending over towards and past the Karelan keeper Teke Veran to put the Golden Eagles ahead. Afterwards, the Karelans were a bit tougher on their counter attacks, but they just couldn't get far enough to equalize before the game ended.

Geisenfried 1
System Karela 0
Wolfe 64' (GSF)
No cards awarded.
Duhring (DF) -> Kopfgeld (MF) 68'
Formation change from 4-5-1 to 3-6-1 in 68th minute.

Geisenfried's next match is also to be in Geisenfried, against the unranked Champlaign team who recently defeated Commerce Heights Jasi'yun Football Association team. If Geisenfried plays like they did against SK, then it should be an easy win, if they play like they did against D2R, it may be much tougher. Still, 3 points should come out of this match.

Schedule:
Dance 2 Revolution 1-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-0 System Karela
Geisenfried ?-? Champlaign
Rejistania ?-? Geisenfried
Bazalonia ?-? Geisenfried
Ropa-Topia ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Commerce Heights JSY
Geisenfried ?-? Dance 2 Revolution
System Karela ?-? Geisenfried
Champlaign ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Rejistania
Geisenfried ?-? Bazalonia
Geisenfried ?-? Ropa-Topia
Commerce Heights JSY ?-? Geisenfried
Home games in Red, Away in Black

Name W L D PT GF GA GDF
Rejistania 2 0 0 6 4 0 +4
Bazalonia 1 0 1 4 5 3 +2
Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 1 4 3 2 +1
Ropa-Topia 1 1 0 3 2 1 +1
Geisenfried 1 1 0 3 1 1 +0
Champlaign 1 1 0 3 1 2 -1
Commerce Heights JSY 0 2 0 0 1 4 -3
System Karela 0 2 0 0 0 4 -4

The Red And Black Defeat the Eagles


Ariddia-The Virginia Nova Eagles have lost the First WC30 Qualifier today as they were handed a 2-0 defeat at the hands of Ariddia. The Pitch was a muddy mess after heavy Rains Plagued the area. The game got started in Dry Condition's but still a muddy field plauged the Eagles,but didn't seem to hurt the Red and Black. Ariddia Scored rather easly as a Midfielder took advantege of Alex Potter's misfourtian and got one by. The Eagles had a chance to score at 40:18 but Adam Neppi's Kick went to high. This would be the only chance The Eagles got,as the Red and Black's defense did a marvallous job at Karalela'ing. to finish it off an Arriddian Forward scored at 79:02 to seal the deal. and thus VN did not get any points.

* Funky theme song *

Dazza: I'm Dazza Dallas
Rachel: And I'm Rachel Kool
Both: And this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE, 2nd episode

Dazza: Yes, we are reporting live from World Cup Triple XXX
Rachel: Not this delayed telecast crap, live. Because live is best.

Dazza: Now for some shameless advertising. People have been ringing in wanting to buy these World Cup xXX Babe dresses. Especially these pinky ones. Well, JGN are really nice people and have obliged.
Rachel: You can now buy them in three sizes, small to large. Sorry not Extra large sizes due to the supplier saying no to that. Colours include pink, blue, red and black but no Green.
Dazza: 30 shekels for Small, 50 for medium and 100 for large. Large is expensive due to the stiching being used.
Rachel: Available from next week!
Dazza: Pre-order on the JGN web site now and the first 10 customers get a free iPod. Yes, an iPod, a real one.
Rachel: And the xXx in these dresses glows in the dark
Dazza: I didn't know that
Rachel: Harry said my boobies were glowing when I still wearing the dress
Dazza: Another reason to wear it girls!

Rachel: Now, for the results.
Dazza: Well, Jeruselem drew with Delesa today. Yes, we should have one but the Delesans basically kinda put up a brick wall today. They defended all game with a few less-than-convincing attacks. We didn't win but Delesa showed the Karelan style does work once in a while.
Rachel: Lost points, but it's early. New players not quite settled in, but Jeruselem have guts towards the end to produce those crucial wins while weak teams falter.

Dazza: NIL ALL it was. Unlike uber Wentland. Marceau State got trashed by us and Wentland repeated the dose again. Wentland won FOUR NIL again and look like real threat from just two games.
Rachel: Another awesome game, and the Frenchy state conceded 8 goals in two games.
Dazza: Not looking good for this Frenchy team so far.

Rachel: Marion Oaks 2 had a really bad day.
Dazza: Cataduanes made the day really bad with six goals scored. Yes SIX. Cataduanes did conceded two but who needs defense when you score six goals.
Rachel: The Oakies need to defend like Delesa or kiss their hopes goodbye
Dazza: Oh yeah, can't leak goals like this all time,

Rachel: The Greatest Crap
Dazza: Played like their name - crap.
Rachel: United Island Empires beat them three nil
Dazza: No wins for the Crap team but hopefully they can get a point sometime
Rachel: They will, scoring a few goals really helps the cause no end.

Dazza: Lions, we love them. Nedalian that is - they beat the tricky San Haven team TWO NIL.
Rachel: Good stuff the Lions who seem have confidence to win without the veteran Nene. I'm sure the Lions can make over the line.
Dazza: Excellent so far and solid, that's the lions we love to see.

Rachel: The people with big Hockey sticks won again
Dazza: Actually she lied, they tied. 1 ALL, a frustrating day for Hockey Canada like Jeruselem's.
Rachel: Demot held them up and well, great game to do this. Demot stopped the same team who beat Monks
Dazza: That's soccer, but it's only two games in. The Jeruselem and Hockey Canada team know what to do last few games.

Rachel: All in all, the faves won except Jeruselem who had to settle with frustrating draw against Delesa.
Dazza: Don't panic, Jeruselem always have early trouble. Except we tend to draw not lose these days.

Rachel: We must mention Yafor 2.
Dazza: Lisa's team, you know the ex-coach of the Women's team.
Rachel: They beat Lylybium 4 - 2.
Dazza: Yaforites look motivated under their Jeruselem coach. Hot!

Rachel: That iPod we mentioned earlier. It's the 100Gb version
Dazza: Yes, 100Gb of MUSIC. Girls pre-order now - or guys get one for your chicky. She'll be so happy if she gets the iPod too.
Rachel: Dazza's got one and it's still working despite being dropped so many times.
Dazza: Nearly killed it but not yet.

Rachel: Yap Yap or Rant time!
Dazza: Now, some Protestant asks about why a man does not do these World Cup reports.
Rachel: We did our market research a long time ago. It says best to have a woman to attract the audience unless the man is popular one.
Dazza: And we couldn't find a male reporter under 40 at the time too.
Rachel: Median age for Jeruselem male reporters is 50
Dazza: Mainly because they don't paid enough
Rachel: And men don't look good in dresses like these
Dazza: Unless you're a femine transgender type

Rachel: That's it for now
Dazza: Don't forget to watch the replays in JGN cable if you have it.
Rachel: JGN cable is having discounts now, so get it now and get your soccer fix.
Dazza: And don't forget to watch Women's World Cup IV either later.
Rachel: So good night
Dazza: And sweet dreams. If you can't do that guys, think of your partner or us if you don't have one.

Jay had, in his bag, the old, battered 8-bit console, as he rode down the street. If he had to play this useless old game, he might as well scam some food out of it.

Jay had to beat on the front door two or three times before Rob let him in. "Damnit, if you wanted this so badly, you should answer the door the first time."

"Well, sor-ry. I thought you'd prefer it if I answered the door somewhat clothed."

"That's usually preferred, yes. Now, while you screw around with this, I am going to eat all the food you happen to own."

"What makes you think you're going to do that?"

"Well, one, I'm hungry. Two, I had to come out here at 10 in the morning, which requires some kind of retribution. And third, I forgot breakfast."

"Whatever."

Jay looked in the fridge. "Hey, eggs! Want some eggs?"

"Hell no, I don't want eggs. Get out of our fridge."

"Whatever." Jay said, continuning to paruse the kitchen.

"Oh, snap." Rob said from the other room. "There's a corrupt referee!"

"In what, the match?"

"No, the game! Ah, crap, he's using Redcard!"

"I don't need a play-by-play of that stupid game."

Rob shrugged as Jay walked back holding a bowl a cereal. "Well, isn't it amazing in the least that everything involved in the World of soccer translates so well to a Final-Fantasy-Type Roleplaying game?"

"It does at that."

"So, what do you think 'Zidane' does anyway?"

"The World Cup was a month ago, we're not using that joke now."

"Damn. Think we should be watching the game today?"

"Against N00bestonia? You can probably pick the result without watching."

"I'm thinking a healthy four-nil."

"Sounds about right. What's that rumbling?" Jay said, looking out the window.

"A garbage truck or something?"

"No, I can't see anything. Must be nothing."

Jay had enough time to turn around and see a wildly flaming object plunge though the kitchen and down into the basement, leaving charred sections of floor, appliances, and one slowly burning, broken wooden beam hanging down from the roof. For the sheer velocity of the impact, there was remarkably little on fire. Hesitantly, Rob walked over and peered down into the hole to see a hole continuing into the ground, half full of the smashed-up contents of the basement. "Holy crap."

"Holy crap indeed." Jay said, still eating his bowl of cereal. "The Ref just sent off all your guys, by the way."

Demot Daily ~ Commies Stunned

When the team looked on the schedule and saw that they would be hosting Hockey Canada on the second matchday, many groaned at the thought of being beaten at home soo early. Yet as the matchday came, and the stadium began to fill up, the team began to feel the excitement beaming from the sell out crowd. Many streamers and banners were set up through out the stadium painted in red,gold, and black, the colors of the team. And when the pre game activites and events were over, the crowd roared as the home side took the field, and then gave a solid applause to their visitors.

And then the game began with Masteron taking out the Candian striker with a sliding tackle from the side. And despite the player obviously injured, only a foul was rewared. The play would only continue to be physical, and many players were bruised and battered as each went into the locker room at a scoreless halftime scoreline. Hostra had to be subbed for with a gushing gash about his right kneecap. With Wright in his place, the team went back onto the pitch with high confidence that they could hang with the more seasoned side. That confidence showed as they mounted a strong attack in the 56th minute only to have Ysman whistle it to the side of the net. But failing to deliver the ball far, Black took down the bad clearing and spun by her defender, to leave her dashing the thirty yards with only having to beat keep, which she did easily and deposited the ball into the back of the net.

The team then went into it's "Fortress" defence, and it looked like they were going to hold the strong side scoreless, but the commies would escape with a goal in the 89th minute when Gooden and Smith collided into each other and allowed a hole in the defence. Now the team has secured points in their first two matches and will hope to keep the string going in their next.

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

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Unicorns Smash Socialist Romanistan

Queen Sonya Sabre was pleased with today’s result against Socialist Romanistan. The Mystical Unicorns had continued the form that had seen them nearly pull the draw with TnUI and control the match against SR from start to finish.

And it all started with the midfield. The “Fab-Four” of Tári Falassion, Maurita Deni, Brigette Deteso, and Nátulcien Eluch`div` were astounding. In fact it would be nearly the 20th minute before SR managed to put any real pressure on the defenders at all. All in all, it was shaping up to be far more like a practice session rather than an actual match.

Eluch`div` would receive a long pass from Tisa Laos in the 24th minute and move the ball ahead to Deni. The quick stop-and-go move that followed left the SR defender looking for his shorts and opened up a massive opportunity for the attack. A wondrous cross found Altáriël Telperiën open near the net and the header that followed cleanly beat the SR keeper. But the Unicorns were not done yet.

In the 41st minute Avril Auserwald made a tight reception in traffic to keep the pressure on the SR defense. A very basketball-like screen from Zana Jablon opened the door for a very tough shot that Auserwald put into the back of the net. The score at the half would be D&S 2 - SR 0.

The second half would see lots of reserve action as Luthien Oronar made sure they were ready if needed later on in the qualifiers. Sixta Nomay was the highlight reel for the second half. Her defensive pressure and intensity was more than enough to shake the concentration of the SR attackers and keep things very easy for reserve keeper Alassea Sáralondë. And despite Unicorn fans’ worse fears, Sáralondë allowed no scores. Only once in two qualification attempts (27/28) did she accomplish that.

Next up is a trip to powerhouse Fmjphoenix. If the Unicorns can play as well as they did in the 1 point loss to TnUI and the win over SR today, we might just have a chance

In other news from Group 11
Fmjphoenix escaped KCToker with a 4-3 win.
TnUI crushed The Colony of Delaware 4-0
One Red Dot faltered against Khenas and only managed a 2 all draw.

Archregimancy Watch:
The Monks faced Giant Zucchini today and completely destroyed them 4-0. For now the troubles of WC29 appear to be far behind them.

Magnus Valerius 3 'Cats 0

Boyars Crush 'Cats

In a game that solidified Magnus Valerius as a near lock for WC30, the MS Boyars put the hammer down on Lexington SC. It was a hat trick for Boyar George Illyanich, with goals in the 18th, 56th, and 61st minutes respectively.
It was goalie Gustav Sibel who made dazzling saves, 5 in all, keeping our boys frustrated and looking for an opporotunity, and they nearly had one in the 44th minute. Heres LSPN's Bailey Harris with the call:
"Griggs with it about 70 feet out now. Looking for a man, looking, passes to Trudeau, back to Gillespie at the top, who fires back to Griggs in the box he has 1 man to beat and hes by! Heres the shot and its off the left post!!!! Oh my was that our chance. Griggs didnt even need to worry, Sibel was on the other side, and he flat out missed. Oh dear."
At thats how the chips fell, as the 'Cats, now 0-2, fall 3-0 to the Boyars.
Next up for the 'Cats: its #77 Harlesburg who defeated Horgate 2-0 today. Until next time, good luck 'Cats!

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Sea Dragons Gobble Up Green Wombat 3-0

This is Kellan Kildan of the FNN reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea.

It seems the age problem for the Sea Dragons was put behind them and the starting positions of several members saved at least for the next match. That is because today ASMV actually looked like the #22 side in the world as the thrashed the hapless Green Wombat squad 3-0.

Things started well for the Sea Dragons as Micah Swift set the tone with a very hard tackle that earned a yellow card in the 3rd minute of play. Genesis Galluccio seemed to take notice, and from that point on the vaunted Sea Dragon defense was in full force.

Then in the 15th minute, more of the “Old Timers” hooked up as Evan Evans found Pablo Iglesias for an easy score. Pablo had scored his first goal of these qualifiers and the squad used it as fuel for more fiery play.

It would be the 33rd minute when Jenni Ulrich found Porche Alexander streaking down the left side and nearly offside. But the shot was allowed and two more of the aging veterans had combined for the score.

The second half was much the same. Green Wombat would move into position to make an attempt, meet the ASMV defense, lose the ball, and run back down the pitch empty handed. Then something out of the ordinary happened. Center Midfielder, Arobi Khazir-Zarazoroba, found himself with the ball and only the keeper to beat. Arobi had not scored for the Sea Dragons - or anyone else - and was so excited that he tripped over his own feet. But that is just the beginning. As he fell he knocked the ball forward just a bit. Luckily his hands slipped on the turf allowing his head to make contact with the ball before it found the ground and broke his nose. The ball bounced straight for the net. But the Green wombat keeper was ready and knocked the unlikely shot away. Porche moved to get the rebound but tangled with the defender and both fell, knocking the ball to an open Pablo. But Pablo also slipped and the ball was kicked the wrong direction. At this point, Arobi was just beginning to get up and the ball careened off his head back toward the goal! The Wombat keeper had moved to counter Pablo and was caught by surprise as the ball found the back of the net. And when things were said and done, Arobi had scored the first goal of his life. Well done.

The final score of 3-0 was exactly what the Sea Dragons needed to regain their form and composure. And the goal from Arobi Khazir-Zarazoroba might just be good enough to qualify as “Shot of the Qualifiers”.

Group 12 has become somewhat of a guessing game. NMS looked strong on MD1 but only managed a draw against Carvalo today. Magnus Velarius leads the group after dropping Lexington SC 3-0. Harlesburg shrugged off the early NMS ass kicking they received to stop Horgate 2-0. It is still early but Magnus Velarius looks solid enough to compete with anyone.

Friends watch
Cuation dropped Sliponia 1-0
Milchama escaped Alif laam Miim 2-1
Tadjikistan dropped the Doja 2-0
D&S stopped Socialist Romanistan 2-0.
Ariddia downed Virginia Nova 2-0

Next up for the Sea Dragons is a trip to Carvalo. Given their results today against NMS, this could be a surprisingly tough match.

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section: World Cup Qualifying Coverage

Stars Look Good In Hiiraan Win

HIIRAAN - In the dusty plains of Hiiraan, the Stars looked like a good team who played solid football. Even after the loss to Liverpool England, the team began to look like a team towards the end of the game. Everything started clicking, and it was easy to see how it this team was once the best in the world. "It felt really good to be out there and working with everybody," said captain Bloudin after the game, "I felt that we are at a place as a team that once we overcome a big hurdle like Chicanada, and really start to beat teams we should, like Hiiraan, then we will qualify. With this group, I think we might have a good chance to do it, but we will need to be careful. The Stars were able to dominate for long stretches of the game, using the midfield and the ball flow to really tired out the Hiiraan midfield, allowing the Stars to control the midfield and position there attack. Infact, the scoreline of 2-0 was very flattering towards Hiiraan, as the Stars had many numerous attempts on goal before finally getting to score in the second half. The goals both came from Jonathan Kavanagh, a veteran from the squad at Vancouver FC.

The Lowland Clans 2-0 Hiiraan

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Insubstantial Sports Publication

Waffles Almost Give Away Win

The Waffles faced their first away game this season against world number 83
Risa-Aramour, and it wasn't without incident. A herd of elephants wandered
onto the pitch and fell asleep, delaying the game by some hours, and
angering tens of thousands of fans. When the game finally got underway, it
was Risa-Aramour's Alana Belmour who starred in the first half, scoring two
goals, as the rest of the players were sluggish in avoiding the large piles of
dung. Coach Tamsyn Pengelley was clearly seen to be furious near the
sidelines, as Spaam slipped to a two goal deficit by the break.

The poop was cleared up during half time, and the Waffles became the
dominant force, with captain Crewenna Roskelly leading the way with a goal
in the 50th minute. However, for the next half-hour, both defenses worked
hard, as Risa-Aramour tried to maintain their lead, and Spaam tried to make
sure they kept in the game. An upset was looking likely, until Jenifer Uren
scored in the 88th minute, to even the game up. A last minute chance by
the Waffles to win the game was denied as Tehta Trevelyan was ruled
offside, and the match ended a two all draw.

Risa-Aramour 2 - 2 Spaam
(Belmour 5, 35) (4 Roskelly 50; 7 Uren 88)

Results

Group Five
Peturbed Lepoard 0 - 1 Eseck
Vuam and Isma 0 - 3 Krytenia
Rorysville 2 - 0 Tocapa

In other matches, Eseck was too good for the unexperienced Peturbed
Lepoard team, while Krytenia made a mockery of Vuam and Isma, defeating
the home team with three goal whitewash. And Rorysville showed that they
were qualification contenders, with an impressive two goal win over Tocapa.
Krytenia are outright first in the group, with Spaam and Risa-Aramour in a
perfect dead heat for second. Rorysville, Vuam and Isma, and Eseck are just
one point behind on three, with Tocapa and Peturbed Lepoard still to score a
point.

Group One
Chicanada 4 - 2 Spaamanian Plijous
Liverpool England 1 - 0 Errinundera

Group Ten
Ten Thousand Maggots 1 - 2 Quakmybush

Alan Belmore got another double for the Gulls, but it wasn't enough as
Chicanada scored three in the second half to come out four to two winners.
The game was delayed by a number of hours as a tornado rushed through
the Chicanada stadium. Meanwhile Errinundera faced Liverpool England in
their first of two Heartland matches, and were barely beaten in a riotous
match. Englander Anthony Langer scored the only goal of the match in
which three people were killed on the pitch. None of them were players.
And Quakmybush made it two in a row by beating Ten Thousand Maggots in
a close match.

Next Week

Spaam faces its toughest challenge next week, when they travel to
Krytenia. With the Aces having a perfect record so far, the Waffles will be
trying hard not to let them win. This is an early do-or-die match for Spaam,
with their performance likely to determine the qualification potential. Eseck
host Tocapa next week in a low ranking match, with the visitors looking for
their first win. Risa-Aramour will host Vuam and Isma in a close match, with
both teams needing a win to stay on qualification track, and Rorysville is
favoured to beat Peturbed Lepoard at home, who are yet to score a goal.

In other matches, Spaamanian Plijous will be hosting former world champs,
and long time friendly Waffles rivals, Errinundera in what should be an exciting
match. And the Drakcorp Quakmybush Sharks will be travelling to Hockey
Canadia, looking for their third straight win, and the upset of the week.

Table

Nation W D L GF GA GD P G%
Krytenia 2 0 0 5 0 5 6 100
Spaam 1 1 0 6 2 4 4 75
Risa-Aramour 1 1 0 6 2 4 4 75
Rorysville 1 0 1 2 4 -2 3 33
Vuam and Isma 1 0 1 2 4 -2 3 33
Eseck 1 0 1 1 4 -3 3 20
Tocapa 0 0 2 1 4 -3 0 20
Peturbed Lepoard 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0 0

Goal Scorers

2 Tehta Trevelyan (1)
2 Crewenna Roskelly (4)
1 Mar'h Menadue (14)
1 Jenifer Uren (7)

History

01 Spaam 4-0 Rorysville
02 Risa-Aramour 2-2 Spaam
03 Krytenia vs Spaam
04 Tocapa vs Spaam
05 Spaam vs Eseck
06 Spaam vs Peturbed Lepoard
07 Vuam and Isma vs Spaam
08 Rorysville vs Spaam
09 Spaam vs Risa-Aramour
10 Spaam vs Krytenia
11 Spaam vs Tocapa
12 Eseck vs Spaam
13 Peturbed Lepoard vs Spaam
14 Spaam vs Vuam and Isma

http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turban.gif


Vumaou's Flock in Caesarean Ripping



So those crazy little winged bandits could play... at home... where they've been trained and nutured. But what about a foreign environment? That was the question on the mind of the Turori faithful after they saw their beloved Eels turned into a flock of mix-breed oversized ducks, only to run out 3-1 winners in their opening match amid all the skepticism.

But they would be in for a rude awakening if they were hoping secure the same magnitude of success outside the safety of the creatures natural Turorian climate. The animals looked lost and out of place, only managing to net single goal in a less than charming defeat at the hands of Northern Caesarea. Yup, Northern Caesarea. No, honestly, we at the Turori National are not the first who had not previously known of the existence of Northern Caesarea. In fact, coach Vumaou and his flock nearly missed the match because the Turorian transportation aparatus they were using did not have the city of Berenguer in its automated guidance system, and the trip had to be made manually after some communication with the Northern Caesarean officials.

So it's two matches in and Vumaou's flock is perfect at home, and winless on the road. Will they be able to improve on these fortunes? It will be difficult to return to the World Cup Finals with any additional losses to lower ranked opposition, such as the Northern Caesareans. At a press meeting following the match, Vumaou revealed he will be looking for perfection for the rest of the qualifying campaign, and that includes the concession of goals. Strict penalties will be forced on Vumaous flock for each goal conceded, and the former Turorian Striker indicated that he would not hesitate to swap the entire starting 11 should the team drop any further points.

"We dug ourselves in a bit of a hole by not showing up to the last World Cup," Vumaou admitted in his press meeting, "but, we are still Turori. Whether we're out there kicking the ball or the Cocoabos are, Turori is in our blood, and Turori belongs in the World Cup finals, mixing it up with Rejistania and Audioslavia in the Quarter Finals. We don't belong losing matches in Northern Caesarea. That's what we've done today, and it better be the last time."

Vumaou, clearly distrought about his teams performance on the road, admitted that he was at fault for not preparing his flock outside of the Vilitan Cove. In hindsight, the team would have been better prepared had they participated in the previous international friendly matchday, and travelled to a nation with a differing climate than that the flock is used to. He did however hope that the creatures could take the experience of the climate difference in Northern Caesarea well, and looked to adjust better in the second half of the match taking a well performed goal back with them to salvage some pride out of the match.

The new look Eels will return home to the Island Emirate for Matchday 3 and it will certainly be a must win match for Vumaou and his flock, against Kaze Progressa. As the second high rank in the group, the Progressans will be favored to take one of the qualifying spots to the World Cup finals, but a victory in Turori could put the Eels in position to rebound from the dissapointing Caesarean defeat and return to contention for a place in the finals



http://www.3wideracing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turori/images/turbot.gif



World Cup xXx :: The Turori Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11562153&postcount=76)

World Cup xXx :: The Turori Story
- (1) Jualiar Vumaou Named as Turori Head Coach! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11550142&postcount=58)
- (2) Vumaou enters Legends Shootout (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11552142&postcount=64)
- (3) What the Hell are those?! ... and where are the eels... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11552142&postcount=143)
- (4) Vumaou's Flock in Caesarean Ripping (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11552142&postcount=204)

Dear Diary,

I know this is a blatant rip-off of a concept that someone else had. But I don't care. I'm Sammy McDocherty after all ! Man, that's some weird shit... telling my own diary who I am... When I'm going to be the only person reading it. As well as a couple of people that actually bother to read these things, and not just skip past them looking for their name. I know some people do it... After all, my own brother, Jared (why am I telling you the name of my brother ? Why am I reacting like you are a concious being ? Who cares anyway ? Not the few thousand readers of my post-mortem-published-diary...), skips through the rugby scores until he spots "Wasps", and only then does he begin to read the article...

So, I'm a policeman. I know, this is also a rip-off. I know that. And I know that I'm talking to a diary too, so I guess all this is normal. Yes, normal. Perfectly normal to not just write down what happened in your diary, preferring to engage dialogue. With a piece of paper. It's as normal as it gets in my life though, Diary. I mean, some cheapo 5-cent a copy paper forced my boss to force me into investigating some gruesome blood-bath of a murder. Or perhaps it was a suicide, I'm still pondering it. Anyway, I'm in Schiavonia, trying to uncover why two korean blokes that go by the names of Seol Hi-Kik and Jin Ahn-Tonic are both now nine feet under. What, it's six feet under ? Sounds cheesy. Anyway, they're in the morgue right now... The pieces of them that are left, that is...

So... Some low-grade journalist is sent to Schiavonia for some minor sporting event... Oh, it's football is it ? Well... Moderately important sporting event then. And he managed to get fired. He only had time to send abouit 5 lines back to Vuam and Isma before his boss showed him the cold shoulder and gave him enough cash to go to a more temperate climate so he wouldn't call in on the unions. Then, they employ someone else... Same result. But only three lines of text this time. Not as productive, I guess... Without money, they speed up immigration processes for these two lads, and get them on the job. For some reason, they didn't get fired.

They were there, doing some work for this paper, and then suddenly, the paper didn't get any more papers from them. Big surprise. Even bigger when you remember they're Korean. They didn't challenge their firing, and that's when this paper alerted authority. Immigration from Schiavonia tracks down their hotel rome (cunningly hidden under the name 'Ahn-Tonic'), and then V&I police were going to just pick them up... but they found a slight... mess in the room. The bed was still undone, and the PCs were still on, but something was amiss. Both PCs didn't have any keyboards, or mouses. Upon entering the bathroom, they found two bodies... Both had their faces quite imaginatively joint with keyboards... And the mouses were hidden... let's say, "imaginatively". Very "imaginatively".

So... Two dead koreans, sorry, Vuam and Isma and Korea citizens, in a hotel room. After flossing my teeth and chatting up the hot babe on service, I felt like I'd better get on with dusting and picturing and just general detective-ing, or I'd miss the beginning of the XXRD-SuparSmackDownSyndrome. Man that is some sweet wrestiling. Diary, don't listen to those that say that it's scripted. I've talked with 'The Scone', and he told me how brutal it was. And it's more brutal that trying to get a Cute-Double-Cheezeburger-with-extra-bacon-egg-and-pastrami-or-spam at one. Belive me, Diary. Well, after a good night's sleep, I got to the office and attempted to make something out of what we had. Suicide isn't the most plausible. That was determined when the doctors pointed out that they had their ankles and wrists set in the cement before dying. But I'm not ruling it out because you never know how dangerous a korean can be. Some of them even brake bricks with their head, so it can't be that hard to kill someone, even with your hands and feet in cement.

After about 4 mugs of coffee, half a dozen donuts (I'm on a diet, Diary. Soon I'll be under 15 stone !), and shouting insults at two people for absolutely no reason, I had a break-through. Perhaps they had managed to tell us in some way how they died ! I thought they might have had some kind of code on their face, but that awful geek down the aisle told me that "qwertassduiioupwuiwep" wasn't code, but just the print mark made by the keyboard on their face... He's always trying to bring the man down, cheapass good-for-nothing. But even though that is a convincing explanation, I still sent it to crypto. Perhaps it's korean for "My killer is called : XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX". I'm not a cryptuloger after all. Nor a Korean white caucasian male. Then, bad news came in from the lab. Well, it's good because we got rid of a nuber of hypoteseseses, but bad because it didn't solve my case and they stopped me from leaving my desk in time for the dunkin' donuts' happy hour.

They say that there weren't any other prints but those of the korean guys that died. I asked them if they were sure that they were the same koreans, because I've often been mistaken by koreans, they look very alike. However, they started getting into technoblabble, saying something about "loops" and "bridges". So I just tried to catch enough time to finish the su-do-ku on my desk. Didn't manage though. I've got a 3 in the top-right had box that just won't fit in. So they got back to me eventually, and then one of them was overjoyed to say "I've found latex". I couldn't see what was so great though. I've known about latex for a long time. But actually, it was that she found latex in the room of the koreans. That's not good because it means someone was raped. And it wasn't the koreans.

So, back to my desk, and I find out that not only have I missed the Dunkin' Donuts' Happy Hour, but also the local Pub's one. That made me mad. So, I went down to the pick-up, found the TV set for emergency cases, and set it up in nmy desk. It was that or missing the Tycoons play the Deep Crusts for the top of the central league ice hockey division. Tycoons won thanks to a good defensive perfomance. Really great. They were just... Slappin' them in, if you see what I mean.

After that, I was tired, so I litterally 'slept' on the case. I slept really bad, and I was woken up by the janitors at 5, but at least I'll get overtime. So, as I wake up, I make a major breakthrough in the case. I go find the tech department (took me half an hour, and it's lucky the janitors knew their way around because I was totally lost), tell them to go get the computer, and to tell me if the koreans wrote who killed them there. The tech guys found it out pretty fast. The whole computer was running FrenchDoors 95, and the only information on the hard drive were two Notepad documents. The first one was identified by those in the know as being the reportagering they were doing (looked like some kind of code to me, with all the 0s and the 1s...). The second one was... a lot shorter. Here it is : "Dear Errin". And that's it. Nothing more.

Of course, I checked in the database of our known criminals for people called "Errin", and whilst the search was on, I checked out the receptionists through the big lobby windows. The brunette (Rachel, or perhaps Jamie, or Fiona) is really hot. I'll come looking in this database more often. Good news was that only one person called "Errin" was on the list. Five hours later, bad news : he died 4 years ago. This case has been very well done, and the murderers must have been professionals.

So, for the moment, we're at a bit of a stand-still. Well, I am, but only because of this awful traffic jam. We should make this road a 4 by 4 instead of a 3 by 3. Ah. That lorry up there is moving. I'm a getting going, Diary. Talk to you when I get home, baby !

Woo hoo !

News item from the McKillops Bridge New Statesman.

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POLYTECHNIC IMPLICATED IN VUAM & ISMA/KOREAN DEATHS

The mystery of the unanswered invitation to co-convene "Creative Journalism" at the McKillops Bridge Polytechnic deepened today when Vuam and Isma authorities discovered two dead journalists. One of the journalists was killed just as they had typed, "Dear Errin..." The information was revealed on the blog of a V & I detective trying to solve the case. Speculation is rife that the unfortunate journalists were replying to the Errinundera invitation. Whether the words are just coincidental or have a bearing on the situation is still to be determined.

Head of the Department of Journalism at the McKillops Bridge Polytechnic, artolf, doesn't know what to make of it. "It could be something to do with us. Who can tell? The thing that worries me is that no gun appears to have been used. In itself that doesn't mean much but, had a gun been used, you could categorically say that no Errinundrian was involved. I hope the invitations to the other nationstates don't bring the same bad luck."

We would have liked to get a response from Errinundrian law enforcement agencies but there aren't any, so we can't.

President of the EFA, uashe, is alarmed. "Since the cock-up with the Goongerah Green Left Online Edition publication there has been six deaths somehow connected to Errinunundrian football. It's just as well no-one was killed at Wulgulmerang." (That's enough from that corrupt official - ed.)

We can only await further developments.

Pengiuns belong in the Zoo
Footballfans demand action against Raging Pengiun squad

http://www.irishstrangler.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2006/02/riot.jpg
'When the leader of the protesters told his followers they should 'give them all you've got', some took it a bit too literally.'

Dushanbe - Tigers, while glad that their team won in the end, were all but happy at with the way this victory was achieved and they set up a petition to get the Raging Pengiuns out of the tournament. Their petition, succesful as it may have been -even received the support of our national coach- did little about the situation and allowed the Pengiuns to take three points from rivals Qazox. The water began to boil in Dushanbe.

Angered at the way the situation evolved, the fans demanded some action to be taken to avoid further player-injuries and unfairness during the away match, again with the support of the national coach, Piotr Monhakyiev but once more their demands were not met. TNFF president Frunze explained that he expected immediate action by the World Cup organization and said he would try and convince them of the seriousness of this case.

It was not good enough for the Tigers fans and they took to the streets -as they do every twenty years in a football related incident- and occupied several public buildings while throwing up roadblocks all over the city.
The Police, not in a position to quell the rebellion had to call in the help of the army and with its armored vehicles, cleared most of the roadblocks on the important roads in and out of the city. Police reserves, brought in from other cities, then went to battle with the protesters and was able to to end most of the riots by the end of the day and the last pockets of resistance would be cleaned up by tommorrow, Police-chief Loncar declared.

But the grievances of the protesters were clear, something had to be done about this overly violent team that has no respect whatsoever for the rules. Coach Monhakyiev, a bit more realistic than most protesters put his own demands on the table: 'We'll play them, either on Tadjik soil or neutral soil! And offcourse, all irregular items and creatures must be removed from their squad. If those demands cant be met, then we should not play them, I'm definitly not going to put my players' limbs and lives at risk here.'

The TNFF refused to respond to these words but behind the scenes some officials said they 'could find themselves' in these demands and hope to see a response from the World Cup organization without TNFF intervention.


In other news
The Tadjik Tigers paid a visit to The Doja, the unranked side of Group 7, and picked up three points from a smooth game with striker Zyrianov in the leading roll, making both goals for the Tadjik Tigers.
The game was played without Berzarin, still out after his injury during the Matchday one and Teamdoctor Sestrogor said he would not return until matchday 4. In the meatime, he gets replaced by Chernoburov, who had the opportunity to show his face for the first time in the Tadjik national team today in The Doja giving and assist for Zyrianovs first goal of the match.

For coach Monhakyiev is what a good way to forget the Pengiun affaire for a while and focus on his job as coach of the national team :'Not a bad result, though I believe the Tigers can do better, we'll have to against such sides as Qazox and Commerce Heights, both away matches are played on MDs 4 and 5. But we can iron out the little problem and get the team upto topspeed against Toranat. And I expect to see a full Isserson stadium, nearly everyone who holds a Tadjik passport and saw the first match will support us now. Well... you can probably say the same about the Qazox team, they lost 1-0 and though I havent seen that game, I'm certain there were alot of 'irregularities'.'

MD1: Tadjikistan - Raging Pengiuns W 2-1
MD2: The Doja - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3: Tadjikistan - Toranat
MD4: Qazox - Tadjikistan
MD5: Commerce Heights - Tadjikistan
MD6: Tadjikistan - Swilatia
MD7: The Mice of Miceland - Tadjikistan
MD8: Raging Pengiuns - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - The Doja
MD10: Toranat - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan _ Qazox
MD12: Tadjikistan - Commarce Heights
MD13: Swilatia - Tadjikistan
MD14: Tadjikistan - The Mice of Miceland

Tadjik Topscorers
Zyrianov - 2
Tulberdiev - 1
Elisarov - 1

Az-cz Scroll
August 20, 2006
Mil-Bax
Il-Lur

Az-cz fails to steal a goal

A troubling trend is starting in these world cup qualifiers. While the robbers were able to find lots of goals in the Baptism of Fire they are off to a slow start now. In the last four matches they've only been able to score one time.
Straight from the beginning of the game it looked like there wasn't going to be much excitement in the game. Anathematic Republics looked like they were playing a match half-Karelan/half cage fighting. It looked like they were trying to discombubulate Az-cz with dirty plays and making fouls while the refs weren't looking and some when they were.
The one goal in the game came in the 34th minute when an Anathematic Republics player clearly pushed off of Ns-Ta on a corner to head the ball in to the net. Although it was a foul, there was no call and Anathematics republic was ahead.
Nothing much happened in the rest of the first half, but the second half was a horrible half for both Az-cz and soccer. Anathematics went into a defensive shell and just kicked the crap out of any Az-czzer who came near there end of the pitch. In the second half they picked up 4 yellows and two reds, but they were able to keep Az-cz from the goal, and also injured two Az-cz players, Stanleyinho and Bub-Rub, both of Az-cz's starting forwards.
In there places Ox-Rx and Uz-Gz came on but they also failed to find the goal.
A horrible day for Az-cz. While some of their Baptism of Fire compatriots were celebrating good results Az-cz was incredibly unhappy. There was even jeering from the crowd, a rarity for Az-cz fans. They must now regroup as they have another difficult match against Nebuleux. This game will be critical for Az-czid chances.

Statistics

Goals Az-cz 0 Anathematic Republics 1
Az-cz scorers
Possession Az-cz 50% Anathematic Republics 50%
Shots Az-cz 6 Anathematic Republics 4
Corners Az-cz 0 Anathematic Republics 1

MC: We are here tonight with Coach Levesque and team captain Zax-Im, after Az-cz's first ever loss in a competitive match.

Levesque: I don't have much to say. We aren't looking forward to the replay against Anathematic Republics. They're good, but evil.

Az-cz reporter 1: How are the two forwards?

Levesque: Bub-Rub is fine. He'll be back for the next game. Stanleyinho's knee got messed up pretty bad. It sounds like he'll be out for quite a while.

Az-cz reporter 2: How's the morale amongst the players?

Zax-Im: A one goal loss to a good team isn't going to bother us. Losing Stanleyinho will hurt, but hopefully we'll be able to rally around his loss.

Az-cz reporter 3: What do you think about Nebuleux coming up?

Levesque: We're going to need the win. They lost to Nedalia and drew with San Haven, so they're gettable. But we'll need to play our best and shrug off the troubles of this game.

Az-cz reporter 4: How do you jump start the offense?

Zax-Im: Some of it's finishing, and some of it's our opponents and some of it's luck. We weren't that far from scoring more against the Candrian Empire and nearly took some goals off of Miceland and Starblaydia, so we're not far, but we're just not clicking right now. I don't think any changes are necessary we just need to execute.

Az-cz reporter 5: With Stanleyinho out, who moves into the starting lineup and who are you calling up to join the team?

Levesque: We're going to move Lur-Mn into the starting lineup, for now, and call up Stanleyinho's club teammate J-Nash to the roster as the fifth striker.

Az-cz reporter 6: What result has been the most suprising in the group so far?

Levesque: Well we haven't seen too much, but one would probably have to say the Alasdair I Frosticus 5 - 0 The Candrian Empire result. It's not even too big a suprise as things have mostly gone to form.

Zax-Im: I'd say we're the biggest suprise. In that we've been disappointing. We could've done better against Anathematics and we had to do better against The Candrian Empire.

MC: Alright, one more question?

Az-cz reporter 7: Off topic, but are you guys getting a chance to watch the Atlantian Oceania Kleptochase championship?

Zax-Im: Yeah, and I must say the mice are doing quite well. The world better watch pretty soon the mice are going to own all the sports.

BELLSTEAD SAMIZDAT Tovarischi, the time has come to overthrow the tyranny of the self-proclaimed football genius Tommy Barnes. How this man can remain as national manager after the disgrace in Marceau State is beyond me.

Comrades, the man has no concept of anarcho-syndicalist ochlocracy whatsoever and his refusal to take account of the expressed wishes of the Wentland nation (at least those of us with sense) and even the playing units themselves is an affront to the unitarian soviet of the football team.

Having had a success in the first match why did he remove those of the soundest political activist persuasion (i.e. Andrew Saint, who once accepted a copy of the 'Dat without rejecting it into the nearest waste incarceration device) and replace him with yet another one of his Crow-nies? Collins has already deviated with a flirtation with the obvious opiate peddled by the bearded celibates and his mind is not of sufficient intellectual strength to adopt to the collective. His fluke overhead kick was an irrevolutionary move that only gave Wentland the lead in defiance of all correct thought.

And as for the return of Johnny Lane at centre-half...words fail me. He deliberately flaunted his contempt for the group system by proceeding away from the area to head home a corner late in the first half. What was he doing there? That was not a proper goal. A proper goal would have been scored by a proper striker. And there's no-one better than striking than one of us!!!!

The pattern in the second half was totally shambolic. Where was the rigour of positional sense? Why were players moving from the wing to the middle? Why was Cosmo Kent allowed to cut inside to score a third? His task was to stay out wide. There were players in the middle for him to pass to. I appreciate Barnes was marked but that was the proper thing to do and if Barnes could not overcome the Marceau defender then he should not be allowed to put on the hideous blue shirt. Incidentally, I have not had a response from the Crowhurst board yet as to why thy still play in red when it is evident that the one team that should be playing in read are the Bellstead Spartiates. I would sue for copyright infringement if the Court system were not merely a tool of the oligarchy to oppress the proletariat.

The Wentland "spirit" was shown to be a sham when Marceau scored the most correct goal of the match. Long ball, header. I applauded, fellow-travellers, I applauded, but the citizens in the Dog and Ferret were not Sympathetic and derided my expression of free will. I continued the intellectual discussion with the revolutionary pugilism tactics and woke up after the fourth had gone in. I assume that it was a typical capitalist and individualist effort for which we should have nothing but contempt.

No, compadres, the time has come. Barnes must go. Eight worthless goals in two matches is incompatible with the Truth. Supporters of the Went unite.

Liverpool England get off to winning start
Liverpool England press have been remarkably silent about the national team in recent times, given the Terminators' slow slide down the rankings. Now ranked fifth in the world, it's hard to see beyond Thomas Lunson's side for the winners of Qualifying Group 1, but tougher challenges will await them beyond that.

The Terminators kicked off their campaign where they left off World Cup 29 - in Casari, playing an away match to The Lowland Clans, who, for security and health reasons, were forced to play on neutral ground. This seemed to benefit the Terminators ever so more and Adam Carrero's powerful free-kick set the tone of an otherwise even match, Liverpool England running out 3-1 winners.

The second match saw Liverpool England host Errinundera, a team that the nation has not faced since the World Cup-winning campaign of World Cup 8, and prior to that, the nation's debut qualifying campaign in World Cup 6. Old memories aside, the Terminators played slightly defensively, but managed to pull off an efficient 1-0 win to secure the three points. The match was marred by a pitch invasion, but substitute Anthony Langer managed to get in the vital goal. The FALE have ordered an investigation into the pitch invasion, and have taken the surprising unilateral step of banning the national team from playing at the arena - the Waterway Stadium in Schimpol - for the next three years, and ordered the national team to play the next home match without any home support.

More information on this remarkable action taken by the FALE is sure to come.

Cuation Slip Past

Cuation Mars Sports Editor, Mizol Dran

Dire, boring, horrible to watch, rather have the 90 minutes back to watch paint dry. Cuation came and dominated against a home side without any ambition but again where suffocated as they where against the Lisburn team, this time someone managed to score.

At least Lisburn tried to win with the odd attack, Sliponia's attack, when they did go forward on the rare occasion, they didn't test the defence. When Cuation tried to score with long shots but find it didn't reach the keeper, the defenders constantly getting a block in. If someone was to win was the impression as the game wore on, it would be by a set piece or a mistake and so it proved.

Another Cuation long ball was flicked on by the energetic Lu Fei but his knock down fell to Zach Tebow, his back pass bobbled on the pitch and Mike Davis struggled to clear, his volley falling to Giovanni. The right winger took it on the chest and hit on the volley, the chip beating the diving keeper but against the bar.

The ball bounced towards Davis but in the mud, he was unable to get into his arms, the ball squirming out and to the feet of the unmarked Rual Mendiz, the hot shot slamming the ball into the net for the winner. Sad to say, that was the only notable thing of the game and Cuation easily held on to win.

Shot of the Match

Giovanni's volley chip was the one moment of class that was shown in this game, good control, good awareness, skilful effort that just didn't dip quite enough but beat the keeper and onto the bar.

Save of the Match

The final whistle, it may have saved a few deaths by boredom. The keepers? Other then the goal, neither had anything to do other then back passes.

Ref Watch

Efficient, talked to the players and kept the game running, normally I would be giving praise. Couldn't he do something to liven the game up like send someone off, give a penalty, anything!

Moan of the Match

Cuation's lack of attacking edge, dominated the game but was again unable to carve open an inferior but resilient defence, helped in the game being dire. Giovanni showed what our attacking players can do so why can't they do it more often?

Man of the Match

Nobody was really great but the bets of the mediocre was Lu Fei, caused the defence trouble in the air and on the ground, constantly playing good balls to his team mates, energetic throughout. If we could have gone down the flanks, he would have set up a few goals on this display.

Next Game Toopoxia

Semi-finalists of the recent Baptism of Fire, these unknown should be our easiest match so far but we do have a reputation of slipping up against these types of teams. Both teams have one goal each and our attacking play has to improve but our defence is looking for its third clean sheet in a row and we are four games unbeaten.

Milchama beat them 4-0 but with our attack not firing on all cylinders, I think a 2-0 win.

Elven Times
Marauders Slip at Home

Well after a dissapointing start to their run, the team was hoping to take out their frustrations against the newcomers of Farstra. The had no expierence, and their media sure wasn't get any news out about their team to the rest of the world. Everything looked like it would be a smashing and leave everyone on the ESF side going home happy as one could. I mean, how could they lose in to some nobodies in the the majesticy of the Hatire Memorial right?

Wrong! Farstra came and stole a goal, while our team still couldn't get it's offence going. The midfield and defence held their ground well throughout the match, making critical tackles at the right time, clearing the ball away safely, and making fast and crisp passes to teammate upfeild. However Night and Zacharius couldn't manuver past their defenders, and put one past the keep. This is highly unlike their last run where they already had five goals through the first two games.

The team has to figure out what in the world has got them in this funk or else their high hopes of moving onto the Proper will be not only be fading, it will be gone. Luckily the team does have Allocer coming up next in the Angelotic Temple, the largest football stadium in the ESF, and where the national team has only lost once. Look for the team to bounce back with a glorious win, and gain some momentum going into the next few games.

Player Evaluation

St. Louis - 7
Titenburg - 9
Kries - 6
Walker - 7
Hardsworth - 8
Stone - 5
Cuellar - 6
Swent - 7
Tatum - 6
Night - 6
Zacharius - 6

Friends Watch
Haraki managed to force a draw in against the second place team in the BoF with a 3 all scoreline
Becquerelia toppled Sashonska 1-0 in Sashonska
Cuation slipped by Sliponia with a one to nil away from home.

Article by Ron Santapa

RORDIA HIT MEXICANS FOR SIX!

After a 2-1 loss to Ariddia, Rordia are back in form thanks to a 6-0 thrashing of Los Mexico in World Cup qualifying.
It all started in the 5th minute with a superb goal from Craig Brick (the son of Rordian legend Tim). Captain Shane Stewart crossed the ball to Brick, who then volleyed the ball into the net from 30 yards out! Two minutes later, Brick was at it again with another volley - this time from 'just' 20 yards. In the 16th minute, Stewart got onto the scoresheet himself after heading in a Brad Johnson corner. It was 3-0 to the Rordians, but they didn't have a faultless first half. In the 43rd minute, Stewart conceded a penalty after punching a Los Mexico striker in the penalty box. Amazingly, he was only booked, and Los Mexico felt even more hard done by as Rordian keeper Paul Docherty saved the penalty.
Ahmad Saheed continued the rout ten minutes into the second half - heading home from just outside the box. In the 63rd minute, the scoreline became 5-0 Rordia, as winger John Pace went on an amazing 50-yard solo run with the ball, and struck from 15 yards out. A hat-trick for Craig Brick looked inevitable, and he finally got his third goal of the game in the 70th minute. Sadly for Rordia, their win was soured by the leg injury Brad Johnson suffered after an injury-time foul from a Los Mexico defender. There are fears that Johnson has broken his leg, and if that's the case, we might not be seeing him again until very late in the qualifying campaign.
Manager Greg McLachlan said: "That was exactly what we wanted after losing to Arridia. But let's not get too big-headed here - this is Los Mexico we've beaten, and they're not exactly world beaters, are they? I'd definitely like to see a repeat performance against Lylybium in our next match, although we'll have to do it without Brad. His injury is obviously a massive blow for us.
"I was very impressed by Craig Brick's performance today. He's earned himself the match ball, and I just can't say he doesn't deserve it. He was superb out there today, giving the Los Mexico defence a really tough time. I hope I'm not cursing him, but I truly believe that he can be just as good as his father was in his heyday."

BRICK ENTERS LEGENDS COMPETITION

The Rordian FA have announced that they have entered Tim Brick into the Legends Penalty competition. Brick Snr was the Rordian team's top scorer in all of their World Cup qualifying campaigns between WC25 and WC28 before retiring from injury midway through the WC29 competition.
But he is fit enough to take part in the penalty competition, and he has said: "It is a massive honour to represent Rordia in the Legends Penalty competition. I will not let my country down, and I hope to bring the trophy back home with me. I know I'm up against some serious opposition, but I'm not daunted. I can do it."

"G. Morris Osterhaus?"

"Yep."

"Come to investigate the sudden collapse of La Metropolitaine, are you?"

"Yes. I've got a theory about it, but I need to test it out."

"Is that why you've got a big-screen TV and a Barcalounger in that cart behind you?"

"As a matter of fact, it is. Also this case of beer and two large bags of Doritos."

"And what, pray tell, is this wonderous theory, besides an excuse to pad your expense account?"

"You'll see. Now, if you'll help me set everything up to watch the Carvalo match..."

"Here in the rubble?"

"Where else? Is there still an outlet that works around here?"

Osterhaus and the chief of police set up shop around the area. They sit down and begin watching the match. Upon the conclusion, a bolt of lightning comes down from a perfectly sunny and clear sky, incinerating the T.V. set.

"My theory thickens. Although it might have just been the miserable job the Paladins did in that match. We'll have to come back here for the next match and try again."

"And I suppose you'll be billing another T.V. to your account as well?"

"That, and some vodka. Just in case I have to watch another match like that."

"Yup, here's to another win!"

In spite of the mysterious vandalism of Bettia's football pitches, spirits were high in the Blessed Realm, and not just because of the Nedalian FA's admirable decision to go Takilan on the world.

Throughout the nation, millions of people were wearing stupidly satisfied smiles on their faces after seeing their beloved Aroras stick another three points in the bag, and nowhere were they more stupidly satisfied than in Bettia's most famous sports café, the Pie and Pixie... yes, that's right folks - it's off to the sleepy Gabalfa suburb of Pifton yet again to check in on our favourite old-age, tea-drinking, scone-scoffing, late-arriving footy fans.

Ali, one of those two denizens of the P&P sat back in his cheap plastic chair and sipped his tea... then stopped and started sniffing.

"What... what the hell's that?"

His sniffing continued until finally his nasal investigations came across his friend George... or rather the cup he was holding.

"George, what on NS-Earth have you got in there? It smells vile."

"This, my friend, is the finest tea money can buy. This is Sweeney's Delight."

"Uh-uh. I've tasted Sweeney's Delight before, and that is NOT Sweeney's Delight. It's not any kind of Delight. That smells... well, kinda crappy. Where did you get it?"

"I got it off Ted - he said he grew it on his allotment, and he let me have this for a rather low price!" George smiled proudly. "Just ten Groats a bag. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Ted?"

"Yes."

"Shifty Ted?"

"Aye, that's the fella. Why do they call him Shifty Ted anyway?"

"Probably something to do with the fact that picks up any old shit off the ground, chops it up, coats it in a little creosote then sells it to complete morons as tea!"

George laughed. "Poor fools! I mean, who'd be gullible enough to fall for that?"

Ali was just about to explode in despair when something caught his eye (and ear). It was the football pundits analysing Bettia's 2-1 victory over AwalKB as they normally did, when suddenly the screen cut away to a newsflash.

"We interrupt this programme to bring you an urgent newsflash. Our sports reporter John Machen is at Alice Street, Butetown. John?"

"Thank you Mike. Yes I am indeed at the Alice Street football stadium where, with barely any time at all before Bettia's crunch match with Starblaydia, the FAB have ruled the pitch unfit to play on due to it having ruddy great holes in it. Butetown Dragons' coach Said Ismail had this to say:"
"There's ruddy great holes on the pitch!"The FAB have hurridly released a press statement saying that the Starblaydia match will now be played at Stadiwm Bettia at the prearranged time and date. All tickets will remain valid, and a number of pay-on-the-day spaces will be available.

"What the bloody hell?" said George in disbelief. "This is an absolute disaster!"

"I know, just look at the size of those ruddy great holes!"

"No, it's not that. How on NS-Earth are the FAB supposed to fatten up the Starblaydi squad with Butetown meat pies if the match isn't being played in Butetown? We're doomed! Doomed I tells yer!"

"Um... George?"

"Yes Ali?"

"That meat pie plan was complete and utter crap. Remember what happened last time we played 'em in Butetown? They thrashed us 4-0!"

"Ooh shite, they did didn't they? Ah well, maybe that ain't such a disaster after all. I mean, what were the FAB thinking, staging that match i Butetown again?"

"I dunno."

"'Ere Ali, you don't suppose it really was aroras on stilts that did them ruddy great holes, do you?"


Fixtures & Results

MD1: Montegrande 1-3 BETTIA
MD2: BETTIA 2-1 AwalKB (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD3: BETTIA vs. Starblaydia (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD4: BETTIA vs. Tynelia (The Stamping Ground, Lorshill)
MD5: Wrecker vs. BETTIA
MD6: Spindomia vs. BETTIA
MD7: BETTIA vs. Nikea (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD8: BETTIA vs. Montegrande (Shubunkin Park, Akani Sands)
MD9: AwalKB vs. BETTIA
MD10: Starblaydia vs. BETTIA
MD11: Tynelia vs. BETTIA
MD12: BETTIA vs. Wrecker (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD13: BETTIA vs. Spindomia (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD14: Nikea vs. BETTIA

Bettia's Goalscorers

2 - Devanallt
2 - Rhydderch
1 - Hutton

A lone guard noisily slurped on an orange soda at the back gate entrance. His name tag read "Mike". His G36 assault rifle was strepped to his chest. He had never used his weapon before, and didnt want to. He saw an 18-wheeler pull up. Then another, and another. Three of the monster trucks in all. He opened his moouth to tell teh trucks to halt, but a gunshot stopped him short.
Wide.
He ducked behind his SUV and returned fire. His opponet was out of the 18 wheeler now, but he was sheilded by the massive trucks door. The man had an AK 74 assault rifle, and new how to use it. In the last moments of his life, Mike realized true fear. There were now two additional gunmen, and he knew he stood no chance. Hopefully, he thought, another guard could come to his aid.
But no one came.
No one heard.
One bullet his Mike in the arm. He yelled out in pain. Another bullet grazed his neck. Mike panicked. He rose up and unleashed a barrage of gunfire on the terrorists.
He missed.
Two rounds hit Mike in the head, spewing brains and blood everywhere.
Dead.
The terrorists drove the trucks through the gate and parked them as close to the stadium as possible. They messed with some wires then ran shouting in another language.
Their red headbands read "Al Irmo." They were fanatics.
Less than a minute later the northside of Old Wildcat Hollow exploded in a massive fireball. Many people were still in the stadium and many people were on the direct sides of it, waiting in the stagnant traffic.
People screamed.
People cried.
People ran.
To be contunied...

Kick Up The Backside
Starblaydia return to ravage Nikea

There's only been two Matchdays but now the World Number One's are back where they belong, sitting atop Group Six by a good two goals of differential over their nearest 'rivals'. Instead of faffing around with a second-class team (one which defeated both Baptism of Fire Champions Az-Cz 3-0, and Spindomia 1-0 away), Khim played the full-on Starting Eleven in front of ninety-six thousand fans as Nikea came to visit.

That multiude of fans certainly weren't disappointed - except for those of a Nikean persuasion - as Starblaydia ran out four-nil winners over Nikea, who drop to bottom of the Group after two games played. Just a sixth of the way there, but Starblaydia are where they should be, and Nikea are where no-one wants to be.

Johan Keifner broke the international milestone of forty goals as he bagged a brace against Nikea, who's defending was woeful in the first half. Firstly he slipped the marking of his centre back and moved wide - only to find that Nikea's right-sided central defender, Keseterel, was busy attempting to mark the run of Rajko Dakic. Completely un-marked, Keifner thundered home an impressive right-foot volley, from a cross by Prizzoni, that blasted past Keletel for One-Nil.

Tabitha Di Bradini was the next player in white and purple to unlock the Nikean defence, sprinting away from Jastin Lemperetel to break into the box and receive a neat chipped pass from Rujano to drive on the half-volley into the far side of the net. Two-nil, and Starblaydia were flying with less than a quarter of an hour gone, but it was three-nil before half time as Keifner, yet again, scored his forty-first goal of his international career.

A giant of a man, but not quite as tall as Eomer Hall of old, 'JK' has reached his tally of forty-one in seventy-three matches and, at the grand old age of thirty-one, this may certainly be his last set of appearances for Starblaydia. He's won World Cup 28 and been an Olympic Champion and if he scores three more goals before retirement he'll be on a level playing field with Simeone Di Bradini and Zhorin Tumunzahar, who bsit joint-second in the all-time list of Starblaydi goalscorers. Baring in mind that it's Keifner's former strike partner, Dasha Tolkacheva, who leads the list with fifty-two, JK has almost silently got himself this high in the charts over his long career.

He was rolling back the years for Starblaydia's third, before Half Time, as he brushed off the aerial challenge of Nikea's captain, Seserin Tinuviethel, and power home a bullet header after a great cross from Rajko Dakic.

The other goal of the game came from Jackie Maitland, her thirty-seventh, as she provided some neat footwork to make some space for herself, then a powerful and accurate shot to beat Keletel from around twelve yards out. At the grand old age of twenty-six, Jackie certainly has some more goals in her system and is odds-on favourite to be Starblaydia's top scorer for the second cup running, bagging fifteen in the World Cup 29 campaign.

Bettia are up next for Starblaydia and all four Dwarven players in the squad will be disappointed at the appearance of "ruddy great holes" in the Bluetown pitch, making that town's unique selection of pie-based delicacies. Starblaydi Airlines have said they will be changing tickets to Gabalfa instead of Bluetown at no extra charge.

Group Six, Matchday 2
P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Starblaydia 2 2 0 0 5 0 5 6
Tynelia 2 2 0 0 5 3 2 6
Bettia 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
Spindomia 2 1 0 1 4 4 0 3
AwalKB 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
Wrecker 2 0 0 2 4 6 -2 0
Montegrande 2 0 0 2 3 6 -4 0
Nikea 2 0 0 2 1 6 -5 0

Final Score from Jader Barbahlo Stadium:
Starblayda 4 - 0 Nikea
(Keinfer 8 & 39, Di Bradini 14, Maitland 61) - (None)

In other news, th Starblaydi brand Orcinus vodka has been voted as the spirit of choice for those unfortunate enough to be watching appalling football matches. Why not wash those visions of awful passing, inept shooting and calamitous defending away with a taste of cool, sharp vodka with a kick to match?

Buy Orcinus vodka today and wash those blues away! Please enjoy Orcinus-brand vodka responsibly.

OOC: Yes, it was a case of SCNR, sorry for this. It was inspired by this cartoon:
http://cad-comic.com/comic.php?d=20031226
IC:

This match on Hattrick:


Clouds darkened the skies at Estadije Ines Karela Lines as 149000 spectators turned up for the match. Rejistaniha started off with a 4-5-1 lineup. The following players took the field: Kis - Inkil, Imik, I Li, Hihtaka~o - Serena, Kameril, Kalatilu, Ea~ejin, Xhekinajha - Syku.

An interesting 4-3-3 alignment was the formation of choice for Ropa-Topia. The following players took the field: Jaspers - Buzzard, Carpenter, van der Wal, Wall - Coenen, Baldwin, Poorbaugh - Zadelhoff, Huybrechts, Ammons.

The strategy for Rejistaniha on this day was to use their ability to press. Using their counter-attacking abilities was the strategy of choice for Ropa-Topia on this day. At this time in the match, Rejistaniha was using their skill at pressing to successfully put pressure on their opponents. Rejistaniha could have put themselves ahead in the 37th minute but H~seli I Li missed a volley shot on a ball coming in from the right. Ropa-Topia's defense sent a ball soaring up the middle on a beautiful counterattack, but Laurinda Baldwin's finish was met by the reaching hands of the keeper. Manatha~e Hihtaka~o of Rejistaniha was booked for kicking the ball away after the whistle. Ropa-Topia mounted an inspired counterattack in the 45th minute, but Bas Zadelhoff was unable to convert from short range. It was 0 - 0 at the break. Rejistaniha held the ball, with a clear 76 percent of possession.

Rejistaniha took the lead in the 65th minute, after Syku Lyku's awkward, but ultimately successful, shot from the right. 1 - 0. The forty-five minutes were dominated by Rejistaniha, with an impressive 78 percent possession of the ball.

Rejistaniha's top performer was clearly Jeri Kis. However, made a disastrous appearance. Most important Ropa-Topia player was Laurinda Baldwin. However, Bas Zadelhoff made a disastrous appearance. The match ends 1 - 0.


This match on Freekick:

Rejistania Ropa-topia
Variation / Stalling Opportunistic

Syku "Sikane'tes" Lyku FW Bas Zadelhoff
Anky Huybrechts
Carlton Ammons

Xiaela Serena LM Mark Coenen
Inkil Kalatilu CM Laurinda Baldwin
Xura Kameril
Hsene Ea~ejin
Xiajen Xhekinajha RM Kate Poorbaugh

Mesit Inkil LB Peter Buzzard
Syku Imik CB Synthia Carpenter
H~seli I Li Ruud van der Wal
Manatha~e Hihtaka~o RB Erin Wall

Jeri Kis GK Karolien Jaspers


Minute 4:
Syku "Sikane'tes" Lyku of Rejistania made a decent pass to Xiaela Serena at the left side of the pitch.
Laurinda Baldwin was close while Mark Coenen was there.
Serena made a brilliant reception, and Coenen made a good challenge.
Serena took control of the ball.

Serena didn't get an opportunity to pass the ball forward.
He tried to dribble into the penalty box with a decent dribble.
Coenen failed to halt the advance.
Serena was almost free as both Peter Buzzard and Synthia Carpenter were close.
Serena made an awful dribble, and kept control of the ball.

Serena didn't get an opportunity to score.
He tried to dribble inside the penalty box with a good dribble.
Buzzard halted the advance, and managed to clear the ball to safety.
[0-0]

{3 pages of event spam leading to nothing}

HALF TIME
All players regained some stamina, and the coaches took another look at their match strategies.

{2 pages of event spam leading to nothing}
Minute 81:
Mark Coenen of Ropa-Topia tried to get out of trouble with a decent dribble.
Jesi~n Kansu of Rejistania stole the ball with a good challenge.

Kansu made a weak pass to Syku Lyku in the penalty area.
Laurinda Baldwin failed to block the pass.
Kansu was almost free as both Erin Wall and Ruud van der Wal were close.
Lyku made a brilliant reception, and took control of the ball.

Goal Attempt!
Lyku tried to score with a awesome shot!
Buzzard failed to block the shot.
Karolien Jaspers between the posts was totally in the wrong position, and made a good attempt to save the ball.
GOAL!
[1-0]

{1 page of event spam leading to nothing}


This match on RejisCAST:

HK: Hejida, I am Hana Kansu and you are listeninh to "Live from the Leagues", which is in this case: "Live from the World Cup Qualifiers". All these people keep on makinh XXX jokes for this world cup. In my opinion this just proves one thing: Roman numerals are sim'ly and 'lainly dirt. Therefore, here it is not World Cup xXx, but World Cup 3 ke. Now it is time to switch to Elin Ri who is reportinh 'rom the EIKL, Hejida Elin!
ER: Hejida Hana!
HK: You think this connection will work for an entire match this time?
ER: Of course!
(connection breaks down)


This match on booze:
these *hicks* Rejistanis... They *hicks simply play *hicks* crappy! No *hicks* wonder, they *hicks* lost highly!

This here is the end of Matchday Two...

...and the start of Matchday Three (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=11574553#post11574553)

Spru get's one by

SPRUITLAND-The Egles have dropped two losses in WC30 after a 0-2 losst to
the Wabbits of Sprutland.

The Game was started at night, and before long the action got started when
Spruit player Nico Van Dyck nearly got one by Alex Potter. but soon after
Spruit did get a goal; this time with Lee Beck scoring. The Egles did have two
oppurtunities to score ,but Jimmy Hellios missed two consecutive Penelty
Kicks.

Nothing happened in the 2nd half, until Lee Beck scored a second goal
putting the Icing on the cake for the Wabbits.

Spruitland 2

Beckett (35:01,89:12)

Virginia Nova 0

Who Ate All The Pies?
Starblaydia get the edge over Bettia

In a hastily re-arranged match-up, Starblaydia travelled to Bettia's captial, Gabalfa, for this third encounter of twelve in the Group Stages for Qualification for World Cup Thirty.

As expected, Bettia's all-out attack, one of the finer examples of Takil in the world, was pitched head-on against Starblaydia, the current masters of Total Football. Starblaydia's exalted defence had not conceeded a goal before this match and after ninety minutes Paola Mendez's goal still lay unbreached. Bettia's, however, had been punctured twice.

The opener took an until the second half to arrive, but when it came it was a beauty. After some neat Starblaydi interplay in the middle of the park, dodging Bettians left, right and centre, Durum Rage knocked it wide to Marissa Cortez. Taking it down the line into open space, Cortez angled in a low cross that Johan Keifner set up beautifully for Jackie Maitland to whip into the net, a lovely curling finish that no-one could stop.

For the second it was Dwarven substitute Durin Bazrimar who scored the goal, a diving header from a Prizzoni cross, marking the young Dwarf's fifth international goal. Starblaydia's next two matches are at home, the firs tto bottom-of-the-table Wrecker, then to surprise package Tynelia, who tie Starblaydia on nine points after the opening three matches.

Group Six, Matchday 3
P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Starblaydia 3 3 0 0 7 0 7 9
Tynelia 3 3 0 0 6 3 3 9
Bettia 3 2 0 1 5 4 1 6
Spindomia 3 1 0 2 6 7 -1 3
AwalKB 3 1 0 2 4 5 -1 3
Montegrande 3 1 0 2 6 8 -2 3
Nikea 3 1 0 2 3 7 -4 3
Wrecker 3 0 0 3 4 7 -3 0

Final Score from Stadiwm Bettia:
Bettia 0 - 2 Starblaydia
(None) - (Maitland 55, Bazrimar 81)

Sharks Hammered

The Quakmybush National Soccer Team continued their World Cup 30 qualifying run yesterday. The team got hammered at the hands of Hockey Canada 4-0. The Sharks just didnt seem to be in the game at all. Player #4 scored in the 5th minute to make it 1-0. Then in the 9th minute Jon Fields hit the crossbar. In the 67th minute player #6 scored to make it 2-0. Then in the 71st minute player #6 scored again to make it 3-0. Then in the 90th minute player #69 scored to make it a 4-0 game, and thats how it finished. Other results in Group 10 were, The Archregmancy 3, Bostopia 1, Demot 5, Ten Thousand Maggots 0, and Giant Zucchini 4, and Palixia, Quakmybush's next opponent, 0.
Group 10 Table
GP W T L PTS GF GA GD
Demot (142) 3 2 1 0 7 9 2 7
Hockey Canada (10) 3 2 1 0 7 8 2 6
The Archregmancy (25) 3 2 0 1 6 8 4 4
Giant Zucchini (54) 3 2 0 1 6 8 5 3
Quakmybush (46) 3 2 0 1 6 6 5 1
Bostopia (126) 3 1 0 2 3 4 8 -4
Palixia (UR) 3 0 0 3 0 2 10 -8
Ten Thousand Maggots (204) 3 0 0 3 0 2 11 -9

Quakmybush Schedule

Bostopia W 4-0
at Ten Thousand Maggots W 2-1
at Hockey Canada L 4-0
Giant Zucchini
Palixia
The Archregimancy
at Demot
at Bostopia
Ten Thousand Maggots
Hockey Canada
at Giant Zucchini
at Palixia
at The Archregmancy
Demot

Scoring Leaders
Jon Fields 3
Cory Sorley 1
Chris Bricking 1

Az-cz Scroll
August 21, 2006
Nebuleux
Em-Nm

Where have all the goal scorers gone?

Another game, another goalless loss. The shine of the Baptism of Fire is quickly fading here as Az-cz is failing to inspire their fans. With dreams of qualification or more realistically cup of harmony dancing in their heads, now Az-cz fans are starting to turn out to instead go back to Kleptochase.
The game started out quickly for Az-cz as they got a number of good leads from Pizelkaxrovsky but neither Bub-Rub nor Lur-Mn could really find the space to get off good shots. Most of the shots had little chance at going in and the few that were somewhat threatening were swallowed up by the Nebuleux goal keeper.
Nebuleux also failed to find the net in the first half. Zax-Im and Hubertino locked down the midfield and allowed very little to progress up front.
In the second half there continued to be not much offense. Occasionally Pizelkaxrovsky would make a good pass which his forwards would squander or Nebuleux would go the other way and Gn-Lg or one of the defenders would kill the attack.
In the 73rd minute Levesque made a decision to get more agressive taking off Hubertino for Ox-Rx. However that didn't really improve the offense. So in the 80th minute Levesque got really agressive and sent on Az-If for Zax-Im. With three strikers and three attacking midfielders he tried to really press forward. Az-cz got some chances out of it, but they left themselves vulnerable and paid for it. In the 86th minute Nebuleux scored on the counter attack. Try as they might Az-cz couldn't find the equalizer and went down again.

Statistics

Goals Az-cz 0 Nebuleux 1
Az-cz Scorers
Possession Az-cz 48% Nebuleux 52%
Shots Az-cz 12 Nebuleux 8
Corners Az-cz 0 Nebuleux 1

MC: We thank coach Levesque and Zax-Im for joining us in these trying times.

Levesque: Well first I'd like to tip my hat to my defense. They played great and mostly held Nebuleux in check. That part of our game is fine, despite having lost two straight. But our offense needs some work. I'm really not sure what the problem is.

Az-cz reporter 1: Up next is Alasdair I Frosticus. How important is that game?

Levesque: Critically important. If we're going to finish in the top half we have to overcome them. With the loss to Nebuleux we're in a hole to catch them. And with Anathematic's impressive win today it looks like they have firmly positioned themselves as a top three team in the group. So we have no margin for error at this point. If we don't get the three points at home against Alasdair I Frosticus we're basically frittering away our chances.

Az-cz reporter 2: In the Baptism of Fire, you always warned us not to consider the results set after so few matches, why are you so concerned here.

Levesque: Because in the Baptism of Fire, we were all rookies on the same level. Here that isn't remotely the case. Anathematic Republics and Nebuleux were opportunity games, and we missed out. But Bedistan and Nedalia would be huge suprises if we took points. So that means that realistically we have much fewer opportunities and we missed out twice. So it dims those chances significantly.

Az-cz reporter 3: 1 goal in five games, with that one against a poor Candrian Empire side. How do you revitalize the offense?

Levesque: Well first we're going to try switching the forwards. Bub-Rub doesn't seem to be getting done against these higher level teams. They seem to be physically abusing him in a way the lower level teams couldn't. So we'll try the Golems forwards together as an attacking pair next game. We might also look at starting If-Wt and playing a two man center midfield to increase the amount of set up. But if the strikers aren't finishing there's not a lot we can do. Pizelkaxrovsky played well and created good attacks. But he needs help, which he isn't getting.

Az-cz reporter 4: Zax-Im, what did you think of being taken off and then the goal being scored?

Zax-Im: Was I happy about either event? No. But I understand what coach was thinking. We were trying to jumpstart the engine. A goal there could have meant so much. He risked one point to try and get three, and it didn't work. But it was a reasonable gamble. We just have to push forward.

Az-cz reporter 5: Was Bub-Rub's injury at all related to his play?

Levesque: Quite possibly, his finishing just wasn't sharp today. Maybe some rest will do him good.

Nebuleux reporter: What do you think of the Nebuleux side?

Levesque: You guys played hard and fouled up our offense. You outplayed us today and capitalized on your chance. And you won the right way rather than those dirty scum from Anathematic Republics. So good luck against them.

Az-cz reporter 6: Are we going to see any more from the youth squad used against Miceland?

Levesque: When it becomes clear that qualification is out of the question than yes we will call up some of the youth players, and give caps to some of the other players who haven't seen much action. But for now we're still competing with all we've got and putting out the best players we can.

MC: Alright one more question.

Az-cz reporter 7: Alasdair I Frosticus has released an interesting lineup? Will that affect the team at all?

Levesque: No, Az-cz is a country of nudity. We only wear clothing at sporting events and in situations where it is necessary, like for firemen. So sexuality is nothing special to us. Plus Az-czzers don't find those huge breasts and what not any way attractive. So whereas other teams might get distracted we won't. It's not a big deal at all. We'll have our minds on the football to be sure.

[ooc - thanks to both of our hosts for offering to post my RPs on my behalf, but it seems I can access this thread today]

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated


"So.... Fr. John... now that we've both returned from our 48 hour vigil of prayerful contemplation over the Catholic misinterpretation of the doctrine of original sin, how have the lads been doing after that moral victory over the militant atheist communists?"

"I'm happy to report, Fr. Nicholas, that the Archregimancy have regained their footing and achieved easy victories over Giant Zuccini and Bostopia."

"God be Praised!"

"Indeed. This is turning into a very high-scoring tournament, and the 4-0 victory over the valiant vegetables epitomised the attacking style we've been seeing in these opening matches. A hat-trick for Fr. Seraphim and a penalty for Fr. Constantine, and we were back on track."

"And Bostopia, Fr. John?"

"Slightly trickier, that one. In fact Bostopia took an early lead. But Fr. Brynach pulled one back before half time, and a second half brace from Fr. Daniel the Confounder of Heretics placed us back in control. 3-1."

"And the group table?"

"We're doing well in third, and are back in contention. Surprise outfit Demot are currently in second behind the communists, but these are early stages yet. We seem to have overcome our early hiccup."

"Thanks for bringing us up to date, Fr. John. Hopefully we can start to bring viewers some of the insightful and informative match summaries that people have come to expect from us now that we're caught up. But in the meantime, let's return to the current topic that we're all really interested in... "

"The Catholic misinterpretation of the doctrine of original sin, Fr. Nicholas?"

"Quite, Fr. John."

"Well, it's like this, Fr. Nicholas.... Concerning the original -- or "first" -- sin, that commited by Adam and Eve, Orthodoxy believes that, while everyone bears the consequences of the first sin, the foremost of which is death, only Adam and Eve are guilty of that sin. Roman Catholicism teaches that everyone bears not only the consequence, but also the guilt, of that sin. Which reminds me...."

<non-monastic viewers are politely excused from watching the remaining 3 hours of exciting theological debate on 'World Cup Tonight>

DFC NAILS OAKS 3-NIL

It was a short and bloody game. The Oak players seemed like they didnt show up. Micheal McShane walked all over the denfence, taking a goal for himself, James Clare took a penalty shot form outside the 18, and Fernando Kellett, hammered one with a header to the back of the net. Mean while the DFC keeper had little to worry about as the Oak players didnt press on the chances that they had. DFC head coach says, it was lucky that Oak didnt take the full potential on those plays and the team has got to stop giving up chances like that. Other then that he was pleased with the over all effort by the team, and hopes it will carry over to next game.

In Rejistania...

The brothers Andrew and Anthony Creek where down town KaMaRi, they where looking at Estadije Ines Karela Lines, the stadium where the Rejistanian - Bazalonian match was going to be held. But they had stolen away from the hotel room and wanted to, as they say, "paint the town red". But first they had found a contact. That was versed in the art Karelan magic.

Down in the Back Streets of KaMaRi, home of Karela Lines, one of the most famous Rejistanian Karelan teams they met their contact A short man, short even by Rejistanian standards... Andrew estimated him to be 145cm tall.

"Karelan Magic, you seek." said the puny little man.

"ah, yes. Yes we do." replied Anthony.

"Tricky, Karelan Magic is. Wrong get it, consequences will be."

"Look, just get on with the magic already."

"expected, results may not be."

The little man performs a Karelan Magic ritual inside his house. on the two Bazalonians but did give dire warnings to the two players but where dissmised. "fickle creature, Karelan Magic is"

After the ritual nothing seemed different but they could tell something had infact changed. What it was they had no idea but they knew it worked. The Rejistanian match was underway, Anthony Creek was a Midfielder that usually took the ball from Andrew and started being aggresive but this time he stayback and was almost a 5th defender. Despite this extra boost to the defense the entire team was off Balance.

Peter Hobble, seemed to pull a goal from out of nowhere in the 32nd minute, while the Rejistanians nearly totally dominated with the confusion thrown by the newly Karelised Bazalonians. Combined with this it seemed that not a single Andrew "The Bandit" Creek tackle was anything like a normal The Bandit tackle the intensity of the attack was nowhere near where it usually was and it seemed all the aggression contained within his tackle dissipated in a matter of moments.

Elven Sports Network
Currently Airing: Football Central

Richard: Good evening ladies, gents, and otherwise. This is another edition of football central. I'm joined by the lovely graces of Jennifer Sar.

Jennifer: That's right Richard, and tonight we actually get to analyze a good result for the Marauders. The team took down Allocer two nil in the great Angelotic Temple, which was jam packed with elves wearing the navy and black.

R: Yes, not a seat was empty in the sixty seven thousand seater. Pre game chants even showed up on the local earthquake center. The crowd was prepared to do all they could to get the home side over the edge, and with two already dissapointing results, the squad desperately needed all the help they could get.

J: With two losses, they needed more than luck, they needed a win, or else we might as well just be looking forward to four years from now. Yet our squad responded well to the adversity, coming onto the pitch with heads held high as the national anthem: Strenth,Honor, and Glory was played.

R: As soon as their competitors were on the pitch, the captains shook hands and conversed with the refs. Then the game finnaly got underway. Cuellar took the opening kick, and moved it quickly to Stone. She baited her defender and spun past him, and moved it quickly down the sideline. She crossed it in, and Zacharius met it with full force of his forehead, only to be stunned by the keep who was in perfect position.

J: Jumping ahead to the 34th minute when Tatum was taken down on the left side of the box. Walker and Kries stood behind the ball and waited for the ref's whistle. Upon hearing it, Ashley blew past the ball and that got the wall moving, Kries followed up the fake and delivered a bending ball into the box. Zacharius and Night both went up for it, but missed, but it kept bending right into the far corner, and banged in off the post. The crowd roared as Liliam was congratulated by Ashley, Kyla, and Harden. The team went up at half, and were looking pretty confident.

R: After a halftime concert, both teams retook the pitch. Allocer looked to at least get a goal and the draw, while the Marauders looked to defend the lead, and perhaps expand on it if possible. And so the second half began, with Allocer bringing a hard attack. A striker had managed to get past the midfield, and was going one on one with Dwier. Trying his hardest to get past the giant of an elf, the striker tried spinning past him, but the seasoned defender toe poked the ball free and cleared in. Then in the 71st minute, Tatum stole the ball for a midfielder, and lead a charge of 7 Marauders on three of Allocer defencemen. Spinning by another defender, he lobbed the ball right into the middle of the box where Cuellar went flying into the air and threw his full force into a headed that flew past the diving keeper. The crowd began chanting and did the wave for several minutes after the goal while Cuellar, Zacharius, and Titenburg did a jig on the sideline. Allocer went into full on attack, and despite many close calls that were saved by the safe hands of St. Louis, the team got their first victory in this run.

So Jenn, what would you contribute to the teams success today?

J: The team finnaly started acting like a cohesive unit. Last game the defence and midfield played well, but they didn't get the two strikers involved enough. Today they did, and that was the difference. Plus owning a 58% to 42% possesion does help. The more you have of the ball, the less you're oppenet does and the less likely they will have good opurtunities against you.

R: Well I tend to agree, though I think the midfield and praticing on set pieces clearly was a factor. Kries' and Cuellar's goals prove that. But it did seem like the team did play as one instead of many indviduals.

J: Now they have to continue this play if they want to move on. They will host a fierce competitor, Northern Caesarea in Donna Cathedral next match. It will be a critical game for the squad. They win this match, and they are right back in the mix of things. Lose and they will have to have a tremendous turn around in the second leg to have any hope of qualifying. I however predict a 3-2 win for the squad despite the lack of continual good play.

R: I predict another 2-0 win for the sqaud. And I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today. This is Richard Rios signing out for me and partner. Have a good one people.

End Broadcast

Rob and Jay stood in the basement, staring at the smoking hole in the concrete.

"Man, that looks like it made it down a good two feet." Jay said, waving smoke away from his face.

"That's all you have to say? It just blew a hole through my house!"

"Oh please, the insurance company will pay for that. Let's see what it is, before the government comes."

"What makes you think the goverment will come?"

"Something fell out of space and smashed into the house. That's usually a government-controlled area."

"So you're saying SUVs with big guys in black suits are going to show up?"

Jay shrugged. "Either that or the army. Seeing a Regiment of troops milling about would be cool too."

"Man, oh man, this isn't cool." Rob said as Jay walked over and grabbed a metal pole sticking out of the hole. "What the hell are you doing? It could be radioactive or something!"

"Oh shut up and help me lift it out." Jay said, straining to lift one hundred and eighty pounds of electronics and half-melted metal out of the hole. After Rob had joined in and they had managed to get the mangled mess laying on the basement floor, Jay stood up to have a look. "Well, it doesn't look Alien."

"Yeah, but it doesn't look like a piece of flying crap, so it can't be Casaran, either."

"So, it has to be from some other country. Starblaydian?"

"No, it's not that god-awful shade of purple. Bedistani?"

"No, I'm not overly sure the Bedistanis could be bothered."

Rob leaned down and rolled the busted-up sattelite over a few inches. "There was something on this side, but it's pretty well burnt to hell now."

"You have a tarp or something, right?"

Rob looked up. "Oh, hell no. We're not stealing it."

"Rob, it fell into your house. Where are you stealing it from?"

"Not a bad argument, gentlemen." a voice said from behind them. Both of them turned quickly to see a woman standing there, holding a rather-funny looking gun.

Jay stood there for a moment. "Woah, she's a babe!"

Rob took a quick glance back at Jay. "Yeah, a babe with a gun."

"What eloquent speaking skills both of you have." The woman said with a scowl. "It seems that you've already tampered with it as well." she mumbled. With a quick glare, she motioned for them to pick it up with the gun. "Well, I suppose you'll have to be debriefed as well. Come on, pick it up."

Overcome with an extreme desire to stay on the mortal plane, Rob and Jay picked up the wrecked sattelite and carried it up the stairs and outside, where they placed it in the trunk of a car. Nodding slowly, the woman watched, never setting down the gun. "Well, gentlemen. It seems that we'll be going on a little trip together."

"What?" Rob said. "We're really good at keeping things quiet, trust us! I never told about how Jay took a dump in his pants in the 5th-" A quick elbow to the chest from Jay silenced the argument.

"Aaah. It's not that I don't trust your ability to keep silent, but I don't trust your ability to keep silent under torture. So if you have any pending plans, they're being unceremoniously cancelled. Get in the damn car."

Jay and Rob gulped, before Rob looked back at the house. "I just have to get one thing."

"Be quick about it, because in two minutes, I'll come in and shoot you."

Rob ran back into the house, and one hundred and eighteen seconds later, emerged with a backpack, jumping down the front steps. He submissively slided into the car, and with Jay shoved on his lap, their kidnapper quickly sped from the scene when they could first hear approching sirens.

"Man... bad stuff happens when we lose." Jay said, looking though the piece of glass that seperated the front and back seats.

"I hope they have a TV where we're going." Rob said. Jay looked confused for a second, before glancing down at the bag.

"Oh, you didn't."

Konigseifert Chronicle
Geisenfried Eases on by Unranked Champlaign 2-0
Next up, Rejistania.

After taking one step forward by beating System Karela, the Geisenfried national team has taken another step forward in the long trek towards qualification, defeating the unranked Champlaign team 2-0 in Konigseifert. The win in combination with a 4-1 loss by Bazalonia and 0-0 draw between Ropa-Topia and Dance 2 Revolution, puts Geisenfried into second place. If the World Cup qualifiers ended today, we'd be in. Problem is that the World Cup qualifiers don't end today, and we still have 11 games to play. Still a win is a win.

The game today was relatively lax in comparison to some of the other games Geisenfried has played in recent history. Around twenty minutes into the match, Samuel Wolfe beat an offside trap from a Jakob Wagner lob, headed towards the goal and beat the keeper to put the Golden Eagles up 1-0 with a third of an hour done in the game. Fifteen minutes later, Wolfe beat his mark and broke away from the other defenders and put it in again for his third goal of the Cup and a 2-0 lead. With the insurance goal scored, the Geisenfried national team simply sat back and made sure that Champlaign didn't have any opportunities, which is exactly what they did.

Geisenfried 2
Champlaign 0
Wolfe 19' (GSF) #2, Wolfe 36' (GSF) #3
No cards awarded.
Wagner (MF) -> Kopfgeld (MF) 72', Duhring (DF) -> Sauber (MF) 77', Steinhager (DF) -> Grenwald (MF) 77'
Formation change from 4-5-1 to 2-7-1 in 77th minute.

Geisenfried nows heads off on a decisive three game road trip, with their opponents being top-ranked Rejistania, the potent Bazalonians, and the overachieving Ropa-Topians. If Geisenfried's qualification dreams are to be realized, the team realistically needs to get at least 5 points, with 7 or 9 being the desired number. First up on the trip is the number 8 in the world, Rejistania, sure to be a challenge. Can the Golden Eagles overcome the odds and at least get a tie, or maybe even a win? We certainly hope so.

Schedule:
Dance 2 Revolution 1-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-0 System Karela
Geisenfried 2-0 Champlaign
Rejistania ?-? Geisenfried
Bazalonia ?-? Geisenfried
Ropa-Topia ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Commerce Heights JSY
Geisenfried ?-? Dance 2 Revolution
System Karela ?-? Geisenfried
Champlaign ?-? Geisenfried
Geisenfried ?-? Rejistania
Geisenfried ?-? Bazalonia
Geisenfried ?-? Ropa-Topia
Commerce Heights JSY ?-? Geisenfried
Home games in Red, Away in Black

Name W L D PT GF GA GDF
Rejistania 3 0 0 9 8 1 +7
Geisenfried 2 1 0 6 3 1 +2
Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 2 5 3 2 +1
Ropa-Topia 1 1 1 4 2 1 +1
Bazalonia 1 1 1 4 6 7 -1
System Karela 1 2 0 3 2 4 -2
Champlaign 1 2 0 3 1 4 -3
Commerce Heights JSY 0 3 0 0 1 6 -5

Polamoa Press
“We like alliteration in our headlines”

Raptors earn first World Cup win over old friend Czariums

CZARIUMS – The Aurendia Raptors renewed their acquaintance with Baptism of Fire opponent Czariums, and the result was the Raptors’ first victory in World Cup Qualifying.

Team Aurendia started things off quickly, netting the first goal in the 7th minute. Defender Ken Weathers gained possession, and found Cassandra Campbell near the midfield. Campbell beat two Czariums midfielders and passed to her sister Ashley open for the goal. The Raptors made it 2-0 in the 15th, when Matt Sanchez headed in the rebound of an Ashley Campbell shot off the post. Twelve minutes later Team Aurendia made it 3-0, with Jeff Yaneohe finding Regina Dunlop open in front of the net.

Czariums managed to get on the board in the 38th after interrupting a clear attempt by goalie Liza Kohl. The Raptors responded just four minutes later, with Cassandra Campbell scoring off the pass from Colenti.

Despite substituting out key starters, the Raptors’ offensive barrage didn’t let up in the second half. Forward Denise Little scored the Raptor’s fifth goal off another corner kick, this one from Tara Pellegri. Team Aurendia finished off the scoring in the 70th, as Pellegri scored off the rebound of a long shot from Colenti, for the 6-1 score.

Scoring:
1. A (A. Campbell 4) 7th (Assist: C. Campbell)
2. A (M. Sanchez 2) 15th (Assist: A. Campbell)
3. A (R. Dunlop 2) 27th (Assist: J. Yaneohe)
4. C 38th
5. A (C. Campbell 1) 42nd (Assist: J. Colenti)
6. A (D. Little 1) 57th (Assist: T. Pellegri)
7. A (T. Pellegri 1) 70th (Assist: J. Colenti)

* Funky theme music *

Dazza: This is Dazza Dallas
Rachel: And I'm Rachel Kool
BOTH: And this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE
Dazza: Fun for all the family
Rachel: And maybe your dog and cat too, if you have one of those too.

<Stuff appears on screen>

Group Eight
United Island Empires 1 - 0 Wentland
Cataduanes 1 - 4 Jeruselem
Delesa 3 - 0 Marion Oaks 2
The Greatest Crap 1 - 3 Marceau State

Group Nine
Los Mexico 1 - 1 Yafor 2

Group Ten
Hockey Canada 4 - 0 Quakmybush

Group Thirteen
Nedalia 4 - 0 Alasdair I Frosticus


Dazza: Firstly, the shock in Group 8.
Rachel: Wentland crashing to the Islanders 0-1
Dazza: Well, it proves those Islanders might be a big threat after all
Rachel: Or Wentland had a off day, but three points to the Islanders against a team who averaged four goals a game until now
Dazza: That's football for you
Rachel: Hopefully Went will recover
Dazza: They will! or we hope so anyway.

Rachel: Remember Cataduanes scored six goals last game and looked in great form?
Dazza: Well, they took us on and lost, real badly
Rachel: You'd think Cataduanes could have been really competitive
Dazza: Nope, Jeruselem pushed then over FOUR ONE
Rachel: Ranked 31th, not looking happy against the 13th seed
Dazza: My hero Keanu Reeves showed why he is the MAN
Rachel: Two goals to Keanu showed the way, and Dazza even played
Dazza: Didn't get to do much though. 5 minutes isn't much time but hey my first cappie. Took two games of waiting.

Rachel: Delesa, what can I say?
Dazza: They got a win again! Knocked over Marion Oaks 2 with ease
Rachel: Oakies lost 0-3 and look like being the floormat
Dazza: Defense, defense. Oakies need it. Maybe they should all just stand in front their goal for one game.

Rachel: Oh, the French won something!
Dazza: Marceau State won a game.
Rachel: They did play The Greatest Crap
Dazza: Frenchies won THREE ONE, but the other team played like, well, you know
Rachel: Crap in other words

Dazza: To sum up Group 8, Wentland lost but other results could be predicted.
Rachel: Yabadabadoo
Dazza: What was that for?
Rachel: Nothing

Dazza: A check on our friends
Rachel: Firstly, Nedalian Lions.
Dazza: With teeth and all
Rachel: That's right, teeth and all. They tore apart Alasdair I Frosticus, or you know who I mean
Dazza: FOUR NIL, and looking like Lions alright. They just going great.

Rachel: And we're just puddy cats (laughs)

Dazza: A team called Quak-my-bush took on the Canucks and got beaten up real bad
Rachel: Another FOUR NIL scoreline and Canucks recover from draw with style and aggession
Dazza: No more system Karela, it's more like Tajik Tiger power for the Canucks
Rachel: With defense like a rock too

Dazza: And last but not least, Yafor 2
Rachel: Didn't your girls trash them SIX SOMETHING during Women's World CUp 3 final?
Dazza: oh yeah
Rachel: Lisa's team didn't look too inspired with a 1 ALL draw
Dazza: Maybe Yafor 2 should just play that women's team

Rachel: Well, it's Yap Yap or Rant Time
Dazza: Somone asks how many athiests in our team? Well, that's simple ... err, none. A few agnostics but most are Christian, Jewish or Moslem.
Rachel: Like the most of Jeruselem, we're god-fearing folk.
Dazza: But that's the answer you expected me thinks

Rachel: That's it for now
Dazza: That's it for now for me duo
Rachel: Don't forget about the wedding competition and those dresses you can buy from the JGN web site. Those iPod are gone, all 10 - so don't be disappointed if you were slow.
Dazza: I'm sure my friends will get a few or more, cheaper than the those overpriced ones in the shops
Rachel: Good night
Dazza: And sweet dreams for all

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Moon-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Another win for the Warriors

The Milchama Warriors faced a familiar foe today in Lisburn Mateys a team that they had faced two cups ago. Of course back then the Milchama lineup looked really different and the Mateys had just entered the World Cup stage. The teams had changed but the result looked relatively similar as the Warriors again won this time 1-0. Coach Jamie Smith said, "This was the game that we needed. Instead of being against totally overwhelmed opposition this was a quality team who pushed us hard. I'm happy to come away with the three points and feel like this is the type of performance that we need to win."
Considering the happy reaction of one of our competitors at showing broadcasts of selected highlights of the match we will do the same thing with Milchama TV 2, If it's not TV 2 then its probably good TV.

1st minute: The Warriors against a pretty experienced Mateys side here. They have been in two world cups although their roster may have changed since last time. Of course the Warriors roster has changed significantly as only 2 starters from last time are back actually scratch that one for today as Joseph is in for Nielson.

5th minute: Nothing happening we just put the 5th minute in there for the fun of it.

12th minute: The Mateys are attacking now. Kingsbury to Mccann but its intercepted by Mergle and the Warriors are on a counter attack through Kilinin. She is blazing past the midfield and is about 20 yards out now. Joseph going on a side run its a 2 on 1 oppurtunity for the Warriors oh wait there's the keeper Brian Livingston to stop the play. Nothing coming from that promising oppurtunity that was good goalkeeping.

30th minute: This has been a boring match so far as both sides are not trying to attack. It looks like Smith's talk with the Warriors was for them to hit it long and try to beat the defense but the Mateys are not biting and it stays 0-0.

32nd minute: Mateys suddenly braking free Kingsbury past Clufor and into the defense. Mergle trying to do something but he passes to an ONSIDE DOMINIC PATTON! It's Patton against Finton now! Patton tries to fake him out and now shoots, ITS PAST FINTON AND SAVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Casey Stockholm saving the Warriors with a brilliant play as he slid across the line to keep the ball out.

45th minute: Its 0-0 at halftime, very luckily for the Warriors as Casey Stockholm made the play of the tournament so far as he slid to save a ball that looked like a goal. The Warriors will need to step up their play in the second half if they want to win.

46th minute: Milchama looking for a quick attack. Keffer on the outside. He slips past Gucho to the 18. Gucho on him though so he feed back to Kelvin Joseph who slips inside to the 18 one more step and shoots! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!! 1-0 Milchama. Joseph proving again how he comes up big when he gets playing time. This kid is good.

80th minute: The game has really settled down after the goal as the Warriors can't break free of the determined and good Mateys defense and the Mateys cannot get the ball out to counter, thus creating a stalemate that neither team can break. Both teams have had some chances just nothing that significant or great.

90th minute: Livingston to Irwin. Irwin with a long desperate pass that Finton intercepts and clears out of harms way And That's The Ref's Whistle! The game finishes 1-0 to Milchama, its been perfect for the Warriors so far.

Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Joseph 46)
Lisburn Mateys 0 (Wait we play takil right? right?!)

Raging Penguins Report:
While trying to be kicked out of the tournament by the Tadjiks after thier actions against them in their first match. The Penguins did it again this time against Swilatia to the tune of a 1-0 win.

Milchama Men of the Match:
We can't choose one today so we have the men of the match. Casey Stockholm for his brilliant stop in the first half to keep the Mateys scoreless and Kelvin Joseph for his finishing touch and scoring the lone goal today to give the Warriors the victory. It looks good for the second generation today.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/DSFemalesMedia.jpg

Which Way Did They Go George?

Queen Sonya Sabre had know in her heart what would happen when the Mystical Unicorns faced off against the Vikings of Fmjphoenix long before the actual match had even begun. It wasn’t the fact that she did not believe in the abilities of the Unicorns - She just believed in the abilities of the Vikings as well.

And those abilities all came to light in the match as the Vikings thouroughly controlled things from start to finish. The lone bright spot for the Unicorns was - as has been the case on many occasions - the play of Altáriël Telperiën who managed a score in the 54th minute despite seeing double coverage and a scheme designed expressly to shut her down.

In the end, it turned into a complete rout as the Vikings cruised to a very easy 5-1 victory. But as of yet there is no sign of the dreaded guillotine making its way to the Unicorn sideline. It is far too early for that just yet.

The second loss in three matches thus far have the Unicorns sitting in 5th place for Group 11. But there is a bright spot. D&S has already faced TnUI and Fmj and now gets a chance to prove themselves against sides they should have a solid chance of defeating. So hopefully things will look much better by the midpoint friendly against Vilita.

At the time we issued the challenge of a friendly match to Vilita, we did not realize that it had been so long since they had played in such a match. Nor did we actually realize that no other squad had found the balls to challenge them. I guess it just takes a squad of real women not to be afraid of such things. We do look forward to the friendly match against the Jungle Cats. This should be a fun experience for all involved.

In other news from Group 11
The Colony of Delaware pulled a surprising 1-1 draw with One Red Dot out of their hat.
Khenas gave TnUI all they could handle in a 0-1 match. Is TnUI struggling or just playing conservatively?
KCToker blazed up a 2-0 win over Socialist Romanistan. Too bad they couldn’t win in the BoF.

Archregimancy Watch:
The Monks easily handed their business and sent Bostopia home as 3-1 losers.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/newnewslogo.jpg

Sea Dragons Roll Over Carvalo

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Carvalo.

After hosting the BoF and getting a first hand look at the new talent that now graces the WC qualifiers, the Sea Dragons were more than ready to face off with some of those squads. After scheduling a friendly on MD7.5 with Aurendia, ASMV would still get to face Carvalo and Lexington SC. That is three of the better sides from the BoF on the schedule.

The trip to Carvalo would be up first and the Sea Dragons were wary of the upstarts who on MD2 managed a draw with NMS. But it was apparent early in the match that Carvalo was no real competition for the Sea Dragons just yet. Perhaps the new players brought into practice have made a lasting impression on the older players that want to keep their jobs.

Evan Evans set the tone early as he niftily moved the ball around several Carvalo players to set up Porche Alexander in the 12th minute. The resulting shot nearly burned the hands off the Carvalo keeper as it cruised into the net like a missile. That series set up what was to be an all Sea Dragons highlight real for this match.

Genesis Galluccio played well enough at centre-back to be named Man-of-the-Match. In fact the entire Sea Dragon defense played well enough to limit Carvalo to just 3 legitimate shots on goal in the 90 minutes of play.

Pablo Iglesias would also score for a second consecutive match in the 59th minute on a great pass from Arobi Khazir-Zarazoroba. Arobi played well despite the broken nose suffered on the miracle “around the world shot” against Green Wombat.

The third goal would be scored in the 73rd minute by 17 year old reserve midfielder Khyber Allosindir who showed some very solid play today that may indicate her ability to replace Evans after this WC is over and done.

Group 12 is in a state of shock for the moment. That is due to the poor play of the Paladins of NMS thus far. They followed up a lackluster draw with Carvalo on MD2 with a quite shocking 0-1 loss to Green Wombat today. That result drops the Paladins to 5th in the standings. Magnus Velarius has been very impressive as they have opened 3-0-0. We currently hold down the second spot while Harlesburg and Green Wombat are close on our heels.

That means that the next match against Harlesburg in ASMV will be quite important for the Sea Dragons. With Magnus atop the group and NMS looming large behind us, we need all the points we can get.

Friends Watch:
Cuation hammered Toopoxia 4-1
Milchama won again, this time over Lisburn Mateys 1-0
Tadjikistan rolled over Toronat 3-1
Ariddia stopped Nouvelle Angleterre 2-1
Dorian and Sonya was on the pitch against Fmjphoenix - at least we think they actually played in the 1-5 spanking.

Demot Daily ~ Maggot Stew

In front of another sell out crowd, the upstart Demot squad was looking to continue their good roll. With a victory over Pilixia and a stunning draw with Hockey Canada, the momentum was all in favor of the red,gold, and black. Coming into the hostile crowd was Ten Thousand Maggots, who were not considered to be a threat to many in Demot, and by days end, that opinion was not changed. For the home team completely demolished their guests 5-0 in a very lobsided affair. The dominance was soo bad, that Dogood had to call off the attack at halftime, but those first forty five minutes were all the pumped up squad would need.

In the seventh minute Lepierre tossed it into Masteron. He turned up field, and delivered a long ball down the sideline. Frontson outran his defender and crossed the ball with his first touch. Ysman took it down, baited her defender, and then dropped it off for Smith who dribbled to the left, and then sent the shot in. The keep managed to get a fist to it, but the ball rolled back to Black, who tapped it into the back of the netting.

Minutes later, Masteron managed another attack, this time going 1v1 with a defender. A dribbled right, left, and faked a shot, still the defender held his ground. Reaching far into his bag of tricks, he overan the ball, and then flicked it over his and the defenders head. The defender stood in awe and Masteron zoomed by him, took down the ball, and then rocketed it pass the keep.

The attack stopped until the 24th minute when Ysman was taken down in the box and the team was awarded a penalty. Black stood waiting for the whistle, and when she heard it, a grin spread wickedly across he face. She hesitated and watched the keeps knees buckle before carefull placing it in the right corner. The poor Magot team turned over the restart, and quickly rushed back on defence only to give up a corner. Masteron sent in the inswinger, and Ysman headed home to give the team a comfortable 4-0 lead. Hungry for more, the team went into one final attack in the 43rd minute. Ysman was blazing down the left side of the pitch unopposed, with the bulk of the defence in the box. She made her way in, juked past one defender, and lobbed it towards Black who met it with a precisioned bycicle kick that was too much for the keep.

Scorers
Samantha Black - 5
Sarah Ysman - 2
Justin Frontson - 1
David Masteron - 1

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

the wentland pessimist

i told you wed lose in the last issue. it was all going too well. four goals in each of the first two matches? it is obvious that we were wasting goals against weaker teams. now we will get bak to the typicle losing streek and come third again and be out of the world cup and we all have to support catadane and they lose in the first round and it goes downhill from there.

and my girlfriend left me cos i said wed lose and when we lost i said i told you so and she left in a huff and is now going out with that moron gordon and they keep laughing at me.

i wanted to see what mr barnes thought of the match but he wouldnt turn up to the press conference afterwards and said it was a joke and he was not going to speak to the media as they kept saying he was going to be sacked. and i think he will be cos we couldnt score against the empires.

and who do we play next? jeruselem. the best team and they put four past the catadwanes and they are going to marmelize us and we wont even come third ic an see it now.

and we wont be in the penalty competition cos mr barnes says the only legend from wentland is now playing cos all the old players were rubbish or something. they did qualify for the world cup one tho barnesy.

Queldas Hikari - Rul Isio Nesuntel A Seserim

NOT LAST BUT CLOSE
Pandas Seemingly on the Up After Dreadful Beginnings
by Markinen Marketel

INTERIU(NP) - The World Cup qualifying draws have not been kind to the
Pandas since their return to the World Cup stage. For the second cup in
a row, the team was drawn in the same qualifying group as the world
number one, this time Starblaydia. While the Pandas inspired in their
performances against Bedistan in the last qualifying round, their
performance against the current top seeds left many Nikeans grumbling
in their cold, away end seats.

The Pandas opened play with a match at home, a ho-hum affair where the
visiting Tynelians slowed the Nikean attack and took a solid, deserved
2-1 victory. A clean sheet for veteran keeper Amy Whiteworth was also
deserved but spoiled by a late Depayenestel marker. The team took this
drab performance into Starblaydia, where they were thoroughly trounced
in a forgetable 4-0 beating.

The team returned home to Interiu, in a glum mood and not much fancying
the prospect of taking the pitch again. They avoided the media and kept
complete silence in the build-up to the match with AwalKB, hopefully
feeling embarrassed and determined to improve their performance. And
improve they did, with a good win over the visitors. A first half goal
from Komynisin Kabestel combined with a tap in from substitute Seserin
Tilindel made an 81st minute AwalKB goal redundant in the 2-1 win for
the Pandas. This means they are no longer bottom of the group, leading
Wrecker on points, but still with a horrible goal differential. They
hope to make this up with the next match against unseeded Montegrande,
but no seed doesn't necessarily mean no threat, so the Pandas will be
weary going into uncharted territory.


Nikea 1 (Depayenestel 84)
v.
Tynelia 2 (Masterson 28; MacDougal 62)



Starblaydia 4 (Keinfer 8, 39; Di Bradini 14; Maitland 61)
v.
Nikea 0



Nikea 2 (Kabestel 27; Tilindel 55)
v.
AwalKB 1 (<player> 81)


Nikea v Tynelia - Queldas, Solarin Stadium (L 1-2)
Starblaydia v Nikea (L 0-4)
Nikea v AwalKB - Interiu, Interirien Field (W 2-1)
Montegrande v Nikea
Spindomia v Nikea
Nikea v Wrecker - Miserias, Calamo Bridge
Bettia v Nikea
Tynelia v Nikea
Nikea v Starblaydia - Queldas, Solarin Stadium
AwalKB v Nikea
Nikea v Montegrande - Interiu, Interirien Field
Nikea v Spindomia - Miserias, Calamo Bridge
Wrecker v Nikea
Nikea v Bettia - Queldas, Solarin Stadium

IT'S..... WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Basil and Theo!

"Basil!"

"Theo!"

"It just wouldn't be a World Cup without you, you know...."

"Most nations seem to have done perfectly well without us for the vast majority of World Cups. Other than World Cups 1-4, 25, 28 and now 30, in fact...."

"Oh don't ruin a good story, Basil. We're living legends from the Dark Time, when Thrungor was king, and the skeleton hordes of Karth rode roughshod across the desert plains of Yingland to lay siege to the city of Karg!"

"Have you been playing fantasy RPGs again, Theo?"

"Erm, maybe. Anyway, what about the Holy Empire, how have they done since losing to Bedistan - and by the way, 4-2 wasn't a bad result against such a top team."

"Well, Theo, the lads and lasses stormed past the Candrian Empire 5-0 in their second game."

"PORN STARS SPANK CANDRIANS!"

"Something like that, Theo. It was a supurb performace, with a Curcuaso hattrick and a brace from Francesca 'Hot' Totty - who always scores, of course. Our all-action midfield mastering the trick of distracting the opposition at free kicks by pretending to initiate some hot girl on girl action."

"Basil, you surprise me. That's a terrible thing to say. Even porn stars have rights, and I for one cannot condone the terrible sexual objectification of women inherent in that last remark."

"Erm, right. Anyway, we weren't so hot against the group's other lions from Nedalia, and Team xXx lost 4-0."

"Ouch"

"Ouch indeed, Theo. Who knows, maybe Nedalians are totally asexual, because none of our more, erm, unusual distracting tactics worked."

"And Basil, what about this scandal involving 'Hot' Totty and Bedistan midfielder Leonard Hollins?"

"There's little to report. Hollins denies any involvement with Totty. But let's say that pre-release sales of her brand new video 'Francesca does Bedistan' - featuring what's coyly described as 'hot amateur footage straight from the Bedistan dressing room' - are said to have gone through the roof in our erstwhile opponent's nation."

OOC: Yep, I’m back! Now, to make up for lost time. . .

IC:
Ariddians were somewhat startled to find that their country was the top seed in Group 9, but the revelation only helped enhance their usual enthusiasm about the World Cup. There was curiosity, too, as Ariddia was fielding a much rejuvenated squad, and many of Ariddia’s opponents were unknown.

After all these years, the last of the “old guard” were gone. Leduc, Ramirez, Fields, Faraj, Wald, Ta I, Lange, Sanjeeb and Ul U had all retired from the international scene subsequent to World Cup 29, opening up numerous places for fresh new talent. 28 year-old Hanifah Kyaw found herself, surprisingly, being looked upon as a “veteran”, and entrusted with the captaincy.

In the excitement of the Cup’s thirtieth edition, Ariddians were also informed that their country would be taking part in a friendly international penalty competition. The question was, which “legend” to send?

42 year-old Frédéric Clément was approached as the logical choice, but politely declined, stating that he had retired permanently. Ue Alt, Ismail Faraj and Ta I were also sought out but declined, due to age or other commitments. The AFA turned to Kyaw, perhaps the one still active “legend”. Kyaw admitted she was “interested”, but eventually decided she did not want to steal the limelight from the team as a whole.

After much discussion, the Ariddian Football Association reached a somewhat unexpected decision. It had had its eye for some time on a young man called Xavier Xu, a 19 year-old student at the University of Haven, on the island of Se’asho. Xu played for his university’s football team, and his skill had attracted attention throughout the island and the rest of the country. Primarily a goalkeeper, he also shot most of his team’s penalty kicks, and had declined an offer to join the national team on the grounds that it might interfere with his studies. Asked to represent Ariddia at the penalty competition, however, he soon accepted.

“Mr. Xu is a rising star of Ariddian football,” AFA President Anna Teals said. “We’re very pleased to have him representing his country in this competition. He may not be an international legend yet, but I don’t think I’m taking too much of a risk when I say: He will be. Just give him a few years.”

Anna Teals also announced that Xu had volunteered to act as goalkeeper if one was needed for the competition.

Meanwhile, it was without Xu that the Ariddian team played their first three matches in the World Cup qualifying.

The Rouge-et-Noirs met Rordia for the first time in their opening match, on Rordian ground, and defeated them by the narrow score of two goals to one, missing out on several opportunities to strengthen their lead. It was a victory to get started on (courtesy of goals by Hanifah Kyaw and Michelle Dru), but not a particularly solid one. Next Ariddia hosted Virginia Nova, and this time Wol Eosh and Tadjou Senaya gave their team a far more comfortable two-nil win. Lastly, the Rouge-et-Noirs travelled to Nouvelle Angleterre – intrigued by the possibility that the Néo-Anglais might be speakers both of French and English like themselves – and won by two goals (courtesy of Kyaw) to nil.

“We’re winning our matches, but we shouldn’t be lured into thinking that we’re dominating this group,” team captain Kyaw cautioned. “We’ve faced tough opposition from teams ranked much lower than we are. There’s no such thing as an easy match, and things are mostly going to get harder. Especially when we play Spruitland.”

Still, fans have been pleased to see their team off to a seemingly good start. To many, it would be inconceivable for Ariddia to miss out on a qualifying spot now, after so many years of struggles.

Tigers take lead in Group 7

Dushanbe - The Isserson stadium was sold out, more than 160.000 Tadjiks bought a ticket to see the Tadjikistan - Toranat game yesterday. Tadjik fans are almost always exited to see their team but with recent incidents, many fans felt it their duty to become more active and support their team out in the stadium rather than behind their TV. Had the remaining seats not been sold to visitors, the Tadjik fans would have coloured the whole Isserson Stadium green-white-red.
What more could a player wish for than the full support of the crowd? victories maybe?

The Tigers were a bit surprised when their opponents came out to the field, the Toranat Rockies are an all out offensive team with no less than 6 strikers, but only 2 defenders and an equal number of midfielders.
The strange set up gave the Tigers a hard first half and had them drop back onto their own side to defend, but they could not keep Toranat from taking an early lead through a shot by Adrian Wise. An interesting turn of events for the strong Tigers in a full Isserson Stadium but certainly not the end of the game.

The Tigers slowly recovered and took back the initiative from the Rockies, mounting their own attacks on the Toranat box, Zyrianovs shot hit the top bar and Tulberdiev saw his powerful kick, blocked by Willis' fists. The Tigers could not make the equalizer in the first half.
Though the fans werent exactly happy with the result, noone panicked, Monhakyiev remained calm as ever and explained to the press that there was nothing to worry about 'Their midfielders and defenders are running the legs from under their bodies to get the ball forward, its only a matter of time before their rear line collapses and thats where we take over.'

And as Monhakyiev predicted, Toranats strikers became more and more unemployed and were forced to fall back to help their comrades. Time for the Tigers to strike. Elisarov and Tulberdiev worked their way through the Toranat defence, but they got stuck in the right corner, Tulberdievs only option was a long pass to Chernoburov who had followed the two men. Chernoburov had some trouble controlling the pass, but he had been neglected by his opponents and was given ample to aim and shot right past Willis. The absence of Berzarin was the opportunity for Chernoburov to promote himself.

The Tigers had tasted blood and wanted more, they went hunting for more. pushing forward and forcing their opponents back they create d a few more scoring opportunities. In the 78th minute, Tulberdiev took the pressure of the Tadjik squad when he put his head behind a high cornershot, making Tadjikistans second of the evening.
Less than five minutes later, Tulberdiev put the cherry on the pie with a long but powerful shot from the second line, it bounced over the ground, misleading Toranats goalkeeper.

The Tigers had been spared a humiliation, as it would have been embarrissing for them to draw to such a lowranked side in a homematch. Instead, It brought them to nine points and put them in the lead of group 7. Monhakyiev, whom the audience frowned upon during the pause , was the hero of the evening, though he did not celebrate at all :'We've had the easy matches, now come the two most difficult, on enemy soil against our main rivals. And these rivals have not been very succesful so far, which means they'll fight for every point.

In other news
Nothing happened and thats a problem, especially since the Tigers expected to hear an official response or some comment from outsiders on the Penguin-affaire. Coach Monhakyiev is currently occupied with the Tadjik Tigers and their preparation for the upcoming match in Qazox, but said he would continue his campaign against the Penguin lunatics after MD5.


MD1: Tadjikistan - Raging Pengiuns W 2-1
MD2: The Doja - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3: Tadjikistan - Toranat W 3-1
MD4: Qazox - Tadjikistan
MD5: Commerce Heights - Tadjikistan
MD6: Tadjikistan - Swilatia
MD7: The Mice of Miceland - Tadjikistan
MD8: Raging Pengiuns - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - The Doja
MD10: Toranat - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan _ Qazox
MD12: Tadjikistan - Commerce Heights
MD13: Swilatia - Tadjikistan
MD14: Tadjikistan - The Mice of Miceland

Tadjik Topscorers
Tulberdiev - 3
Zyrianov - 2
Chernoburov - 1
Elisarov - 1

News item from the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Green Left Online Edition:

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/GreenLeft.gif

HOSTILITY GROWS OVER RODGER RIVER SACRED TREE NAME

In a move today that has shocked the entire nation of Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera), mayor of Rodger River (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rodger_River), reeada, announced that the recently selected sacred tree (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sacred_Tree) would be named after local football legend and 16 times Rodger River mayor, longipesp (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Longipesp). “Seventy four per cent of the 316,000 submissions received by my office argued for her name to be chosen, “ reeada advised our reporter. ”With Errinundera’s recent re-entry into the NationStates World Cup it seems propitious to name the tree after the woman who kicked the winning penalty goal in the final of World Cup 7, way back in the classical age of Errinundrian football.”

Your reporter, having taken a second dose of their medication as a precaution, rushed up the skywalk to ascertain the reaction of the personnel at the Sacred Tree Registry. Protector of Sacred Trees, poplecti, went red in the face, stuttered for five minutes, and then swore with creative fluency for another five. Later we were able to get a fuller, more coherent, statement from his hospital bedside. “This cannot be allowed to happen. The rules of Capital Letter Technology (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Capital_Letter_Technology) in Errinundera forbid it. There are 3 simple rules to follow. One: sacred tree names are completely capitalised, Two: human names are completely un-capitalised. Three: other proper names follow normal English usage. This is to acknowledge our insignificance compared with the great trees and the earth. longipesp is dead, finito, sleeping the big sleep, kicked the bucket, departed this mortal coil, carked it, stuffed, dropped off the twig, you name it. That tree will be around for hundreds of years yet. People won’t even know who she is when the tree reaches the end of its life. By naming the tree after longipesp, they will be, defacto, according her the same status and respect as these trees. It will be as if her name has been granted capital letter status retrospectively. This cannot be allowed. We will put a stop to it.”

This looks like being the biggest scandal in years here in Errinundera. The Online Edition will keep you posted.

LACK OF GOVERNMENT DECISIONS NO HINDRANCE IN SPAAMANIAN PLIJOUS

The Errinundrian football team, visiting the Heartland (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Heartland), for its matches against Liverpool England (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Liverpool_England)and Spaamanian Plijous were astounded by the latter nation as they took some time off before the big match. “They don’t appear to have a government,” says angelic genderqueer forward, rosaniel (pictured below).

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Angel3.jpg

“It seems the government passed one only one law: they banned elections. Then they went on an extended holiday that’s lasted for years. It hasn’t held back the natives – they’re thriving with a reasonable economy and excellent civil rights even though there’s no-one to regulate the one or enforce the other. And when you quote me please, please, please don’t highlight my gender. And also, don’t add any of those angel references. Please.”

Team captain, keok, is also bemused. “It’s not like it’s a small nation – it has about half the population of Errinundera. But a government that doesn’t make decisions? doesn’t pass laws? – it sounds too good to be true. And it’s not as if it it’s an anarchy. Everyone acts as if there are laws. Perhaps the decisions are being made elsewhere. Anyway, they’ve been very kind and generous to us while we’ve been here.”

BLOODSUCKERS SIGHTED IN FANNY MOO

Excitement is growing in the tiny tree village of Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo) up on the plateau. Yes, the annual Leech Festival (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo#Bloodsucking) is approaching. Organisers have announced that all events have been fully subscribed despite the radical changes to the rules. “With the demise of the local microfibre industry in Fanny Moo, this has really saved our smoked tofu,” says mayor haemo. “This event sustains the village for the rest of the year.”

We asked her about the rule changes. “We don’t have the resources or the capability to test the leeches for genetic integrity so we decided not to bother”, says haemo. “We reached the same conclusion with performance enhancing drugs decades ago and the competition continues to thrive. As far as genetic engineering goes it’s a free for all. That goes for the leeches and the humans. In fact, we have created a special category – most interesting genetic modification to a leech. This should really test the creativity of scientists throughout Errinundera. With the government fully supportive of genetic engineering we thought we might as well put it to a useful purpose. The only rule is, if the leech or the human dies during competition or practice, the team is immediately disqualified and banned forever from competing again. It’s a strong incentive to stay alive and healthy.”

POTOROOS NARROWLY MISS AGAIN

In its second match on the road the Errinundrian Football Team gave Spaamanian Plijous a good run for their money before going down 1-nil, just as in the previous match against Liverpool England. The match was played in an harmonious spirit despite the absence of referees who accidentally went to wrong nation, Fifian Spaam. The captains awarded frees and made all rule determinations by consensus. There was no dissent whatsoever during the course of the match, however there were many interruptions due to the team leaders consulting with each other in response to players’ appeals.

Vice-captain, ubhashinim, was and is bemused by the strange customs and behaviours in these exotic locations. “First you have rioting chief executives invading the pitch in one nation and then refereeing by consensus in another. Amazing.”

((OOC- yup just another Tynelia RP for the nation that can't log in))

“Hello soccer fans. As you’ve just seen Tynelia has continued what has to this point been their most successful starting run in our World Cup history with a tough 1-0 win over Wrecker. I’m Mike McPhee and along side Dana Lee for Tynelian Soccer Weekly. This win puts Tynelia tied on points with the top team in the world Starblaydia who did us a bit of a favor by beating Bettia 2-0. Of course if Bettia had won we’d be saying the same thing about them. With Awal KB’s upset loss to Nikea, that means only Bettia is within 6 points of the Tynelian squad as so far the other teams have taken turns beating on each other.”

“Yes that’s a good sign at the moment Mike but the road is about to get a bit bumpier. This was a bit of a good news/bad news sort of deal. The good news is that one of our staff miscopied the schedule twhich led us to announce that Tynelia is playing Starblaydia next. The good news is that isn’t the case. The bad news is that we’re playing Bettia instead, coming off a shutout loss to Starblaydia and THEN we get to face the number one team in the world.”

“A bit of a mixed bag there Dana. Still it can be hoped that Bettia will still be down after their shutout loss considering their strong offense. On the other hand Tynelia played a rather sloppy match today themselves even with the win on a second half goal from Andy Martins. Wrecker played rather conservatively this time out and the Tynelian squad may have needed a little time to adjust to playing in the Sun Stadia but in the end the team came away with a win. I should take this time to congratulate Jim Michaels for earning a shutout in his World Cup debut as Coach Billington did indeed sit Amy Whiteworth for this match to get her ready for the Bettia and Starblaydia matches up next.”

“Indeed Mike, Michaels had a solid showing out there and with the Wrecker squad not being able to get many high percentage chances, Michaels was up to the challenge. Of course I believe it will take more than one goal to beat either BBettia or Starblaydia these next two matches. But continued scoring is still encouraging for the Tynelian team.”

“Well its time to see what Coach Billington has to say about today’s performance. Hello Coach.”

<Billington appears on the monitor>

“Hello Mike, hello Dana, nice to be here with you.”

“And always a pleasure to hear from you as well Coach. First thing I have to ask. Are you worried about today’s sloppy play by the team?”

“Well Mike, of course a coach always wants his team to perform at a high level all the time I suppose this was a good time for it. We did just enough to win offensively but it was nice to see the defense getting back to normal. Hopefully this will be a sign of things to come from here on out. We’re gonna need it these next two matches.”

“So what are your expectations going on the road for these next three matches?”

“Hopefully we got our bad match out of the way today Dana. If we play like this against either Bettia or Starblaydia it won’t be a pretty sight. Still I like to follow that old adage. ‘Play for the win at home and the draw on the road’ so if we can come away with a pair of draws then we’ll be ok since that means neither team will pick up any ground on us. Of course even this early if we can pull off the upset on Bettia that would put us 6 points ahead of the third place team and would take a bit of pressure off us for Starblaydia. Maybe we might even get some respect from the international press as well.”

“Obviously you want to walk away with some points in these two matches. A pair of losses would be a big blow as Bettia would have already played the three other teams in the top four after this match so aren’t expected to lose much until the schedule flips again.”

“You’re right about that Mike, we’re in great shape right now but a pair of losses these next two matches will be a big blow to our chances. We can’t allow either of the big two to gain points on us to have a chance here.”

“You haven’t mentioned Awal KB at the end of the road trip coach. What do you think about them?”

“That’s looking a bit too far ahead Dana. It could all depend on how the momentum is at that point for both teams. Injuries of course will also play a part in the scheme of things. I don’t really want to go that far ahead. Neither Bettia or Starblaydia are teams anyone should be looking past for any reason, these are the games people circle on their calendars to bring out your best effort. Hopefully the team will be up to the challenge.”

“OK Coach, that’s all the time we have for now. Good luck against Bettia.”

“Thanks Mike.”

<Billington’s image fades>

“There you have it everyone, according to Coach Billington and probably agreed with by most experts around the world, these next two matches could very well be the lever that either pushes Tynelia forward or drops them back to earth. Dana what do you think?”

“Naturally I agree with them. These are the matches Tynelia has been looking at the moment the international press started opening up about how easy group six was going to be for Bettia and Starblaydia. The fans and players have been dying to get a chance to shut these so-called experts up and now they have their first chance facing Bettia on the road. I also think that the team had been looking past Wrecker a bit to these next two matches and may have been why they had such a poor effort out there today.”

“True Dana, but both these matches are going to be on the road. Can Tynelia go into either home field and come away with something?”

“If they do Mike then based on rankings this will be their best chance to do so as Bettia is ranked lower of the two. Also recall that Tynelia still has a few players on the field who have played against the Bettian style of offense back in WC27 so they won’t be as shell shocked as other teams might when facing them. But a draw is most likely the best possible outcome for the team right now. A win here would be a huge upset.”

“So you’re predicting a draw then Dana?”

“I’m afraid not Mike. Tynelia played pretty poorly against a team ranked over 200th in the world and Bettia is coming off what could be seen as a strong showing even in losing 2-0 to the top team in the world. However a team at that stage of things isn’t looking for moral victories and will probably be upset that they find themselves looking up at Tynelia in the standings. I think the Bettia attack will recover after being shutout and they end up on top in a 3-1 win over Tynelia. Remember, in two previous matches the Tynelian offense was so overwhelmed by the constant attacking they couldn’t manage a single goal against them. The offense seems better so far but not that much better.”

“At least we’d still be tied with them in points even with a loss and be no worse than third overall no matter what happens in the Bettia match. I may be a dreamer but I still keep picturing the standings after a Tynelian win here where no one but Starblaydia is within six points of us.”

“Yes Mike you are dreaming.”

“O ye of little faith. We’ll all find out soon enough as the Tynelia match with Bettia is scheduled to pre-empt the Presidential inauguration ceremony as TSW’s coverage of what really matters will go on as planned. And of course we’ll be around for the post game show immediately after the match. Until then I’m Mike McPhee with Dana Lee for Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Have a good night everyone.”

((OOC- an actual real TESSAN RP))

King John IV brooded in his throne room. His newest plan seemed to be failing as badly as the first effort. The draw to start things was encouraging but soon the barbarian hordes of McPsychoville swarmed over his outnumbered knights. No doubt the peasants soiled themselves at the sight and fled from the field of battle leaving the knights overmatched. Not even a single goal was scored in that effort. Now the foul rabble rousers from Iansisle triumphed. Commoner rebels seeking to overcome the proper way of life a great monarchy could achieve and grant his people. The King knew their jealously was clear but that did not excuse his knights failure. Now the team sits at the bottom of the group once again. The only team with them being the foul Czars, who ironically was the team Tessan had gained their lone point against.

Surely more training would be needed. No doubt the commoners made it impossible to triumph for the knights. Their pitiful efforts ruining their monarch’s strategies. Yet none of the nobility chose to participate this time fearing the loss of their lands for their failures. Didn’t they realize that the only way to avoid failure was to ensure people feared the consequences of failure to enable them to perform at their very best? Why could they not see such a simple thing. Had they put in their best effort then victory would have resulted and of course triumphs would be rewarded. He had even said it to be so before the team set off. But still they lose.

The king sat and brooded some more while behind one of the secret passages near the throne, Crown Prince John watched his brooding father and smiled.

Sel Appa Draws with Haraki

NEMNENAIT--In Matchday Three, Sel Appa has secured a draw against Haraki. Neither team was able to get a single goal scored. The match was largely uneventful, with neither side advancing too far. In the 62nd minute, a deep Haraki attack appeared to score a goal, but the kicker was declared offsides, much to The Turtles' relief. As the match approached full time, a powerful Sel Appan attack lead by striker ESTEVEZ almost lead to a goal, but was blocked by a Haraki defender. This was a most interesting match with no cards handed out, thanks to good play by both sides.

Most predictions set the game as Haraki winning 1-0, but Sel Appa managed to keep up its defense. Tomorrow's game is Sel Appa vs. Iansisle, a team which has won twice and lost once so far. A victory against them would do very well for Sel Appa.

Team: |P|W|L|D|GF|GA|NG|PTS
-------------|-|-|-|-|--|--|--|---
McPsychoville|3|3|0|0| 9| 2|+7| 9
Casari |3|2|1|0| 8| 4|+4| 6
Iansisle |3|2|1|0| 7| 7| 0| 6
Aurendia |3|1|1|1|11| 7|+4| 4
Sel Appa |3|1|1|1| 4| 3|+1| 4
Haraki |3|0|1|2| 4| 6|-2| 2
Tessan |3|0|2|1| 3| 9|-6| 1
Czariums |3|0|2|1| 3|11|-8| 1
Current Standings--Source: TruScore, Inc.

Sel Appa Needs More Wins
Sel Appa needs to secure more wins in this qualification round if it wants to advance. Draws do not help much and can only be made up by goal advantages, which aren't changed by a draw. The Turtles play Iansisle next, a team with 2-1-0 and 6 points. A win against them would propel Sel Appa to at least third place. The Turtles just need to keep their defense strong and knock in a goal or two. This could go anyway, but it seems likely that Sel Appa will draw or lose. Nonetheless, there is a significant chance that Sel Appa could pull it off and win. I know the entire nation is hoping for a Sel Appan victory to bring The Turtles 2-1-1.

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Ignored Sports Publication

Aces Down Waffles

The Spaamanian national team faced their toughest test last night as they
faced Krytenia away. With the stands packed for the replay of last cup's
group stage match, it was a sea of blue, white, black, and orange. Both
teams were intent on giving the fans some exciting football, and they started
off right, as they went in hard at each other. Midfielder Jenna Pinch struck
harder than most and earned a yellow card when she tackled the Aces'
Samuel Duffy in the square, earning them a penalty shot. Feoca Arthur leapt
wide but in the entirely wrong direction, sending the home team up by one in
the fifteenth minute.

The rest of the half saw more of the same, with the Waffles looking to even
the score, but the Krytenian defenders were all over the forwards, especially
Trevelyan and Roskelly. The second half saw the Waffles start out strong,
but disaster struck while in the Aces' defensive territory. Pinch and Duffy
were again fighting each other for the ball, when Pinch deliberately pushed
him away. That earned her her second yellow, and a trip to the dressing
room, as Spaam went down to ten players.

With attack made that much harder in the face of such adversity, the Waffles
were forced to concentrate on their defense, and were admirable despite the
lesser numbers. There were a number of shots by the Aces' forward pack,
but they were all saved thanks to Arthur and the defensive line, especially
Tonkin, Perrin, and Chenhalls. With a final shot on goal by Spaamanian
captain Roskelly denied with a diving save from Simon Barradez, the game
finished the hosts' way.

Krytenia 1 - 0 Spaam
(Duffy 15)

Results

Group Five
Eseck 1 - 1 Tocapa
Risa-Aramour 1 - 0 Vuam and Isma
Peturbed Lepoard 0 - 3 Rorysville

Tocapa got their first points of the season, as they drew with unranked
Eseck, while Risa-Aramour continued their unbeaten run, with a one goal
home win against Vuam and Isma. And Peturbed Lepoard are still goalless, as
Rorysville easily defeated the hosts by three goals. Krytenia is naturally still
on top of Group 5, with Risa-Aramour two points behind, and Rorysville a
further point behind on six. Spaam has slipped to fourth with their loss, and
is surprisingly even with Eseck, with Tocapa and Peturbed Lepoard not looking
good at the bottom.

Group One
Spaamanian Plijous 1 - 0 Errinundera

Group Ten
Hockey Canadia 4 - 0 Quakmybush

A bit of nostalgia as Spaamanian Plijous, the independent territory of Spaam,
faced ancient Waffles rivals Errinundera. In show of solidarity, and the fact
that the referees couldn't be found anywhere, all decisions were made by
mutual agreement between the two captains. The game finally finished the
Gulls way, with a second half penalty successfully converted by Alan Belmore.
And Quakmybush faced their first loss in freezing conditions, as they went
down by four goals to Hockey Canadia.

Next Week

The Waffles will be looking to get back into the winners circle when they
travel to Tocapa, with most critics expecting a win. Eseck will host Krytenia
in an easy game for the visitors, who be looking to keep their perfect run.
Risa-Aramour looks likely to continue on their suprising unbeaten ways, when
they host goalless Peturbed Lepoard, while there will be an exciting match
when Rorysville head to the more favoured Vuam and Isma.

In other matches, the Gulls will look to stay in qualifying position when they
host Winchestia, who are suprisingly unbeaten, but not suprisingly winless.
Errinundera will host the Lowland Clans, and hoping the home ground (tree?)
advantage will be enough to overcome the favourites. And a must-see game
as the Drakcorp Quakmybush Sharks face the former world champions Giant
Zucchini in Quakmybush.

Table

Nation W D L GF GA GD P G%
Krytenia 3 0 0 6 0 6 9 100
Risa-Aramour 2 1 0 7 2 5 7 78
Rorysville 2 0 1 5 4 1 6 56
Spaam 1 1 1 6 3 3 4 67
Eseck 1 1 1 2 5 -3 4 29
Vuam and Isma 1 0 2 2 5 -3 3 29
Tocapa 0 1 2 2 5 -3 1 29
Peturbed Lepoard 0 0 3 0 6 -6 0 0

Goal Scorers

2 Tehta Trevelyan (1)
2 Crewenna Roskelly (4)
1 Mar'h Menadue (14)
1 Jenifer Uren (7)

History

01 Spaam 4-0 Rorysville
02 Risa-Aramour 2-2 Spaam
03 Krytenia 1-0 Spaam
04 Tocapa vs Spaam
05 Spaam vs Eseck
06 Spaam vs Peturbed Lepoard
07 Vuam and Isma vs Spaam
08 Rorysville vs Spaam
09 Spaam vs Risa-Aramour
10 Spaam vs Krytenia
11 Spaam vs Tocapa
12 Eseck vs Spaam
13 Peturbed Lepoard vs Spaam
14 Spaam vs Vuam and Isma