NationStates Jolt Archive


World Cup 27 RP Thread - Page 2

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Milchama
08-03-2006, 01:24
Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Milchama get first victory in World Cup campaign

The Warriors have finally gotten over the hump as they won their first game of WC qualification as they beat Tanah Burung 3-1. Coach Jamie Smith said, "That off day was a very good thing for us as we needed to get better and recuperate. The victory over TKP also gave us a lot of confidence that we could do better. I think the combination of these factors will help us along the way of qualifying and if we can keep up our current then we will get back into this thing. The other thing is that we beat them in the second half. We have seemed to be fading there recently but now we finally outscored a side there and this bodes well for the future." Now onto the match report:

The Warriors came in and started using their attacking style to its full force as they attacked the Burungi wings mercilessly. Copperlee almost scored in the 13th minute and Floren just missed a few minutes later. In the 24th minute the Warriors did strike first as Copperlee Steven Gerraded a ball from right outside the box into the net to give the Warriors the 1-0 lead. The goal seemed to awake the Burugis who started attacking. This however did not do much for either side and the game turned into a stalemate with the Warriors dominating possesion of the midfield. Then an attack by the Warriors in the thiry fifth minute was stopped by the Elephant's keeper and he shot the ball forward to Mau Hunu who found Fernando Maubere who buried the ball in the back of the net to tie the score at 1. That was the half time score 1-1.

Second Half Report:
The Elephants came out in the second half ready to dominate the game. They did that early as they almost scored in the 50th minute and again in the 52nd. They should have scored in the 53rd but Hunu's pass was stolen by Silas Milckey and he started a counter attack. His pass went to Darian Flinters who raced upfield before passing to J.J. Faren who continued to show his good form as he scored the second goal for Milchama to give the Warriors a 2-1 lead. After that the game momentum swung in the Warriors favor as they pressured the Elephants defense resulting in a third goal that was scored by sub Floren Albentine in the 79th minute.
Final Score:
Milchama 3 (Copperlee 24, Faren 54, Albentine 79)
Tanah Burung 1 (Maubere 35)
Audioslavia
08-03-2006, 01:46
http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt
Pedriaaarrgghhna
'Slaves Escape Shock in Zombie's Den

Pedriana were yet to score their first goal in these qualifiers. They had scored a few in the past, but that was way back around World Cup 17 where they'd finished two places ahead of a certain team called Ravea. In their current incarnation Kelse had already dumped them 3-0, Chicanada had beaten them and they'd scraped a 0-0 draw with lowly Berner Street.

So it was more than a surprise when they found themselves 2-1 up against Audioslavia with just a quarter of an hour to go.

Audioslavia had started the match strongly, maintaining a stupid amount of posession and keeping the Pedrianans pinned back in their own half for much of the first period of the game. It was the 'slaves playing like the home team on Pedriana's turf, but the real home side seemed content to work on breaking down the Audioslavian attacks and keeping the clean sheet. What few counter attacks they could muster were generally snubbed out early and effectively. Audioslavia's attack was, however, not so effective. Tarturo Magasara still appears to be perservering with his 4-1-4-1 formation, although it was slightly bastardised in this instance with Janne Jarnefelt's inclusion as an attacking midfielder, and Didi Mussorgksi's attacking mentality throughout the game, transformed the system into a simple 4-4-2.

The half time break was a tense one in the Audioslavian dressing room. The 'slaves should have been two or three goals up at this stage but simply had no penetration, with Fiori and Polsson suprisingly ineffective against their opposite numbers on the flanks. Nevertheless, the sides came out unchanged for the second half.

Magasara's stoical adherence to his system seemed to pay off as the 'slaves finally bundled a goal into the Pedrianan net six minutes after the interval. A low, driving effort from Callum Baxter was saved by the keeper's legs, Vitalis went for the rebound but was pushed aside by the strong back-tracking centre half. The goalie again tried to clear with his feet, and did so, but could only watch in horror as it rebounded off Janne Jarnefelt's knee and trickled over the line for 1-0.

The 'slaves kept control of the game for the next ten minutes, bossing the midfield with ease and keeping Pedriana in midfield, but it only took one mistake for the home side to get back into the game. That mistake came from Callum Baxter as a casual sideways pass to Mussorgski was intercepted by the Pedrianan's lone striker who, with a blistering turn of pace, sprinted towards the two Audioslavian centre halves Väinämöinen and Petäja. Petäja came to meet him but was outmuscled as the striker slid past him and won the resulting chase for the ball. It was one-on-one between him and Väinämöinen on the edge of the eighteen yard box with several players sprinting back for cover. The striker feigned to beat the centre-half and instead went sideways and teed himself up for a shot. He connected with the ball sweetly, but Väinämöinen had managed to scramble accross and block it with an outstretched foot. All was not lost for the home fans though as their speedy winger shot through on the left, easily out-pacing Torsten Rijkaard. He recieved the loose ball on the corner of the penalty area, sold Gunnar Yngve a dummy and curled the ball round him and into the bottom right hand corner.

Against the run of play and against all possible odds, Pedriana had made it 1-1, and it wasn't going to end there either.

With a rapturous crowd getting more and more behind them, Pedriana went in search of a winner. There were only twenty-five minutes left on the clock, and a goal in this quick spell of pressure, followed by half an hour of desperation in defence, could get them the most famous win of their history. The dream showed signs of coming true as Pedriana pushed and pressured, terrorizing Audioslavia's bemused and increasingly panicked defence until finally, on seventy-two minutes, they got what they thought was going to be the winner. A deep cross from their goal-scoring left winger found their striker leaping like a proverbial salmon at the far post. The striker went to head the ball accross goal but found his accuracy wanting as the ball looped up into the air. It was enough, however, to completely bamboozle Gunnar Yngve in the Audioslavia goal and dip over his head into the far corner.

The relatively small crowd of 28,500 went absoloutely beserk, as the scoreboard lit up 'Pedriana 2-1 Oudioslavie'.

The goal shook the Audioslavian's confidence and, from the restart, the 'slaves looked to have no answer and no confidence, giving the ball away countless times and almost conceeding a third as a dangerous 30 yard drive from the Pedriana striker dipped and swerved round a stranded Yngve but inches over the cross bar. Panicking, Magasara made two of the most obviously attacking substitutions he'd ever made by bringing on striker Jari Saikkonen for full back Torsten Rijkaard, and Kabaofo Alanila for defensive midfielder Didi Mussorgski. With eighty minutes on the clock, the 'slaves went for it.

There were tense moments all round as first Vitalis was felled in the box, only for the referee to wave play on, before substitute Jari Saikkonen blasted an effort wide of the post from only twelve yards. Time ticked by and it looked for all the world like the 'slaves would never get that elusive equaliser, let alone win the game as comfortably as most would have expected, before Kabaofo Alanila staked his claim to be put back in the starting eleven with the goal to make it 2-2, controlling a drilled cross from the right in mid-air and lashing it past the goalkeeper for 2-2.

A point, however, would not be enough to sate the Audioslavian public's desire for wins, especially against this quality of opposition, and the away side kept pushing in search of the winner. As the game moved into extra time the team were forcing their ninth corner in six minutes, and every Audioslavian on the field bar the goalkeeper and full-back Inger Johansen pushed up into the Pedriana area. The cross was whipped in by Fiori and looked as if it was going to be met by the safe hands of the goalkeeper before a toweing Väinämöinen got his head to it and flicked it towards goal from the near post. The ball spun in the air and grazed the cross bar over the desperate lunges of attack and defence alike, before it fell to a certain Arturo Vitalis who struck his fourth goal of the campaign with a blasted volley to maintain Audioslavia's 100% record and save the blushes of an entire nation.

FINAL SCORE
Pedriana 2 (Winger 65, Striker 72)
Audioslavia 3 (Jarnefelt 51, Alanila 86, Vitalis 90)

1 Commerce Heights 3 3 0 0 8 0 8 9
2 Audioslavia 3 3 0 0 7 3 4 9
3 Kelse 4 2 1 1 8 6 2 7
4 Nedalia 3 2 0 1 8 6 2 6
5 Chicanada 3 2 0 1 2 1 1 6
6 Berner Street 4 1 1 2 4 5 -1 4
7 Ariddia 4 1 1 2 6 8 -2 4
8 Pedriana 4 0 1 3 2 7 -5 1
9 Ocmeoub 4 0 0 4 1 10 -9 0

Elsewhere in the group, Kelse's emphatic record came to an equally emphatic demise as they were taken apart on their own ground by a merciless performance from new group leaders Commerce Heights, who also boast a 100% record, albiet without having conceded any goals. The 'slaves move up into second and are looking strong on paper if not on the pitch, whilst Kelse's defeat moves them down to third, a point ahead of Nedalia and Chicanada albiet from having played one more game. The bottom places are being contested by the usual suspects, with Ariddia desperately trying, yet failing, to get out of that bottom four. Their astounding 4-3 defeat to Nedalia won't have helped matters, TV ratings notwithstanding.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, G'nite bitches.
Dorian and Sonya
08-03-2006, 02:20
Unicorns Not So Mystical in Valertinette

Most Kind and Compassionate Queen of the Kingdom,

Today I send you more unwanted news from WC27. Our girls seem to have lost the magical touch that allowed them a draw against Milchama and a win over Tanah Burung. The loss that happened today was even more disturbing than losing to those quirky ox worshippers. At least they were supposed to beat us.

Tosay in Valertinette we lost to a squad we know absolutely nothing about. No news of any kind has come out of here before. But after losing this one 2-0, I think we will remeber them next time. Our girls obvioiusly were not ready for this match - not to mention more than a bit homesick. Nothing like the Elven Woodlands of the Kingdom. Especially here.

You may also want to do something about the drinking problem some of our girls have picked up while abroad. Obviously bartenders around the world do not realize that 117 in Elven years is equivelent to serving drinks to their own 14 year old girls.

For our next match, we continue the brutal 6 of 8 on the road to start this qualifying campaign. This time at the very mighty and powerful Vilita. Do not have your hopes set too high for this one. If we keep the score in single digits we accomplished a great feat.

Your Devoted Servant,
Neodar
Sarzonia
08-03-2006, 03:09
Defence pays off for Stars, 2-0

VUAM AND ISMA (ASP) -- Despite a 2-0 start that included shockingly easy defeats of both Hypocria and Legalese, Sarzonian national team coach Dave Wilson was concerned with his team's defence and goalkeeping as inexperience ruled the day for both units. He had reason to be less concerned as the defence keyed the Stars' 2-0 win over Vuam and Isma and pulled Sarzonia into first place in Group 4.

"We made a concerted effort to prevent scoring chances," Wilson said. "That was our first priority, to make sure our defence didn't let us down. We had to ensure that we were ready to go for later in the qualifying campaign."

Sarzonia looked like a team that defensively was on top of its game throughout the match. Even though Vuam and Isma fired 15 shots to Sarzonia's 12, goalkeeper Roger Treadway only had to make three saves while the Stars were on the mark eight times. Forward Kevin Wilson and defender Mike Cole notched the goals for Sarzonia, both of which came in a 15 minute sequence toward the end of the match.

While the team's offence was the centrepiece of the domination of the Black and Red, the team could not breach a determined defensive effort by the World Cup neophytes. Forward Kenny Cooper was issued a yellow card in the 44th minute for dissent when he kicked at the dirt in front of the referee. Dave Wilson responded by sending in forward Brian Williams to start the second half.

"It was just frustration," Cooper said. "They're a tough defensive team over there and we just couldn't break through the first 50 or so minutes." In fact, Sarzonia couldn't dent the back of the net until 68 minutes passed and midfielder Jenna Raven was substituted with what team doctors are terming a minor ankle injury.

"It was really just turned," Raven said. The ankle was the same as the one injured in Sarzonia's Under 21 loss to Pacitalia, but "it wasn't nearly as bad and it wasn't related to that injury."

When the final whistle sounded, Dave Wilson met with the Vuam and Isma coach at the centre circle for several minutes, but laughed when asked what was discussed.

"We were discussing plans to exchange players for some of our younger players to get a chance to develop in their league and for some of their players to have an opportunity to play in our league," Wilson said. "It'll give our young players playing time they wouldn't get domestically and it'll give their players a chance to work with an established footy league. I was just working to lay some further groundwork."

He also seems to be laying the groundwork for a World Cup contender, but Wilson said that talk wasn't entering his mind yet.

"We've got 13 more qualifying matches before we make our travel plans," he said. "I'm just going to tell you what I told the lads in the [locker] room. One day at a time, one match at a time." Wilson said he made arrangements with Nedalia to send an all star team to compete against the Stars in a friendly match to benefit victims of the Panic of 2006.

"We've been able to increase the Bryan Marshall Memorial Stars Care fund to $7.25 million in the past couple of days," Wilson said. "Hopefully, the match will bring more."
Mr Chuck Norris
08-03-2006, 03:38
Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Well all of you who are interested in seeing a slaughter of the Fighting Norris, you've come to the right place. Let's just put it this way:

Mr Chuck Norris 2 (OJ Pimpson 15)(Chuck Norris 61)
Liverpool England 5 (Arthur Hairston 18, 36, 54, 67)(Luis Sunderland 74)

The Fighting Norris started the match showing great determination to please all of the fans in La Estadia De Norris, which were dominantly cheering for The Fighting Norris. We here at CNN found it eerie there were so few fans from Liverpool England. How can a team so good have such a little following? Those at Liverpool England have told us that they prefer watching the drama of Schiavone Football Federation chief Michael Ford unfold than attending their beloved Terminator's football matches.

The match started out with a surprisingly on guard Fighting Norris defense who managed to thwart a couple of attacks by the dominant offense of the Terminators. Not only that, but they would be the first to notch a score in the high-scoring match. Soon after stopping a charge by the Terminator forwards, the midfielders of the Fighting Norris managed to explore deep into the territory of Liverpool England. Zach Brickhouse, who has played exceptionally well for his first year in the World Cup, managed to lead the charge down the field. Once swarmed by defenders of the Terminators, he dumped the ball off on Fighting Norris forward OJ Pimpson, who, to everyone's surprise, managed to pass the ball by Terminator goalkeeper Adam Carrero for a score in minute fifteen. It was quite possible that the fans of the Fighting Norris had never cheered so loudly in their life as the Fighting Norris took the lead over second-ranked Liverpool England

However, the excitement would be short lived as the forwards of Liverpool England demonstrated why they're ranked like they are, passing by several defensive player of the Fighting Norris with relative ease. Terminator forward Luis Sunderland then flipped the ball up into the air to Arthur Hairston who skillfully passed the ball by Fighting Norris goalkeeper Mr. Bednarik to tie up the game in minute fifteen.

Play resumed as Liverpool England's brutal offense continued to pound away at a novice Fighting Norris defense. Mr. Bednarik took shot after shot, managing to somehow keep the ball away from the net. It wouldn't last long however, for after several minutes of abuse, Mr. Bednarik finally ceded a goal to Arthur Hairston who simply tapped the ball past him in minute 36. This goal would put Liverpool England up, which is where they would stay for the remainder of the game.

The struggle continued as player after player on the Fighting Norris began to slow down as the Terminator offense continued to manipulate them effortlessly. Somehow or another, the Fighting Norris managed to close out the half only one goal down.

The second half opened with much of the same, drive after drive by the Terminators and save after save by the Fighting Norris defense. However, the game turned dark when in the 54th minute, managed to pull off one bullet of a shot which ricocheted off of Mr. Bednarik's face into the goal, giving Arthur Hairston a hat trick and Mr. Bednarik a broken nose. He would leave for the remainder of the game, but has been cleared to play next match under the conditions that he wears a facemask. He was replaced by Allen Price, who has little experience in the sport of football at all beyond temporarily stealing Pat Smock’s position at midfield in the Baptism of Fire.

However, Price wouldn’t have to deal with too much upon substitution into the game. The Fighting Norris rallied around Mr. Bednarik’s injury and initiated several surprisingly effective attacks. The most notable of which being when Chuck Norris managed to Roundhouse Kick yet another ball through the goal posts in minute 61 to bring the score to 2-3 in Liverpool England’s favor.

The joy of scoring another goal on the second-ranked Terminators was short lived as their unstoppable offense was yet again able to destroy the Fighting Norris defense, giving Allen Price his first test. Luis Sunderland fired a shot on the Fighting Norris goal, which Allen Price managed to block, but not recover, setting up Arthur Hairston for yet another goal, which he scored in minute 67, marking his unprecedented fourth goal of the match.

The morale of both the fans and the players of the Fighting Norris was absolutely destroyed, they were down two goals and physically suffering. They had barely enough fuel to fend off even more attacks by the Liverpool England, who just kept on coming showing little sign of slowing down. Coach of the Fighting Norris Bob Janney simply described the Terminators as “professionalism at its finest; they were flawless”. The Terminators scored yet another goal in minute 74, but surprisingly not by Arthur Hairston, but rather his partner in crime Luis Sunderland, who passed the ball by Allen Price without much effort.

The game proceeded, both teams pulled most of their starters and played a little pit of recreational ball for the remainder of the match, with the final score being 5-2 with Liverpool England on top.

“I’m not too worried about it, we did better than I thought we would and both our starters and our bench got some good experience against an unstoppable team”, was all Bob Janney had to say before leaving for the Fighting Norris locker room.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

We here at CNN are eager to see how the Fighting Norris perform at the home of the 42nd-ranked football team, The Lowland Clans.

In other news, CNN’s beloved stats guy Theo Retical has still not been found and speculations are beginning to rise. We’ve received several accusations of his disappearance, but none have been confirmed. One person has told us that he died of his case of the “24-hour Bird Flu”, while others have told us that he’s been kidnapped by a foreign nation who has something against the Fighting Norris. None of us here are sure what to believe, all we know is that he will be missed dearly here at the office.

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2 (Loss 1-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds (Win 4-2)
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida (Draw 0-0)
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England (Loss 2-5)
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Fighting Norris Record: (1-1-2)
Praying2God
08-03-2006, 04:01
WARRIORS STUMBLE, BUT REFUSE TO FALL ON ROAD

The Praying2God Warriors made their first slip of WC XXVII qualifying by drawing in Bazalonia 2-2 in their first road match of qualifying. The Warriors came out flat in the first half as Bazalonia took a 0-2 lead to the locker room at halftime, but the Warriors found some sort of inspiration in the locker room. Kelly Carter got the Warriors on the board with her second goal of qualifying in the 49th minute, off a cross from Ashley Gore. At that point, the Bazalonian defense cracked down and looked like they were going to escape with the upset, but Mr. Clutch, the Captain, Thomas Larson sent yet another team home miserable, as he took a pass from Alissa Madison in the 88th minute that sprung him on a breakaway that he wasn't going to miss. The draw gives the Warriors the outright lead early on in WC XXVII qualifying, with their toughest matches of the first half of qualifying coming up soon, with Rejistania and The Archregimancy coming to the House of Prayer just before the Warriors travel to Swilatia. First though, is Popolus. The rankings imply an easy Warriors victory, but Popolus is not to be overlooked. The Warriors are well aware of the consequences of overlooking their opposition, as several teams have done it against them over the years. You can expect Warriors Head Coach Paul Johnson to have the Warriors ready to play.
Squornshelous
08-03-2006, 04:07
Defensive Collapse

The Pschychoes go blow for blow with John Parkin
Squornshelous new formation showed its one weekness in the Pschychoes' third match. The defense, with only three players back, allowed far too many shots against goalkeeper Ronald Beeman, and while the FK Yassaca goalkeeper is talented, he's not quite up to facing top level teams yet. John Parkin, at 171st in the world wasn't expected to be such a challenge and the defense was unable to protect the goal. However, our attack, which has been playing extremely well, was able to keep pace with their Parkinian (?) counterparts with Mostafa Ogbadan scoring his sixth goal of qualifying, and Kryztoff Markanen and Goran Syvatov both netted their first. With just 10 minutes left before stoppage time, Squornshelous was seeking desperately to equalize, down 4-3. With the attitude that giving up another goal would make no difference, Manager McCormack took out defender Otto Benson and put in Israel Kamaka at forward. Now playing in a 2-4-4, Squornshelous besieged the John Parkin net, and Vasili Petrov put the tying marker in off of a rebounding shot from Ogbadan.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 4-4 John Parkin

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws byes
MD01: bye
MD02: The Islands of Qutar 1-3 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 5-1 The Macabees
MD04: Jon Parkin 4-4 Squornshelous
MD05: Squornshelous v San Adriano
MD06: Schiavonia v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v Kericia
MD08: Apologetic Kittens v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Spaamanian Plijous
MD10: bye
MD11: Squornshelous v The Islands of Qutar
MD12: The Macabees v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Jon Parkin
MD14: San Adriano v Squornshelous
MD15: Squornshelous v Schiavonia
MD16: Kericia v Squornshelous
MD17: Squornshelous v Apologetic Kittens
MD18: Spaamanian Plijous v Squornshelous[/QUOTE]
Giant Zucchini
08-03-2006, 04:30
Yet Another Own Goal!
Episode 3: The Pastorville Show

Well…guess what…it’s Mr. Green Couch Man’s empty couch! Again! In fact, now you can even see a broken controller on the floor!

“…a stalemate here in Pastorville. Certainly not the debut Pérez was hoping for; it’s rather obvious he’s not back to full fitness. He’s struggling out there on the pitch, but with Chekhov injured, Boyer has to fill in the hole behind him, and therefore even Boyer isn’t being used to his fullest potential. However Boyer is still performing admirably well in the holding role, with a good pass to Pérez who takes the shot on the turn…and that’s a good parry away from Smith. He hasn’t had much to do today, having so much cover in front of him. And that’s a good ball in from Boyer from the corner, RILKE! Oh, how did Smith hold on to that header? But Smith isn’t wasting any time, that’s a good punt up to Harris who’s in space, Boyer’s still at the corner flag, it’s one on one at the moment, Gimeno and Corretja are on the chase, but Harris feints Albom and puts it calmly past Groot, it’s 1 to Pastorville, there’s not much time left, can the Zucchinis salvage an equalizer?…and that’s the final whistle here, heartbreak for the Zucchinis, who dominated this match but just could not penetrate Pastorville’s backline, and one defensive error has consigned the Zucchinis to their second consecutive defeat in qualifying…Coach Gorton, “I guess they prayed harder than we did…”…”


To be continued…


Giant Zucchini’s Department of Number Crunching and Data Spewing presents:

Match stats:

Pastorville – 1
Reverend Harris (83)

Giant Zucchini – 0



Giant Zucchini stats:

Top Goalscorers:
Armand Boyer – 2
Dino Nuvolari – 1
Gottlieb Poulsen – 1

Yellow Cards:

Red Cards:
Atheistic Right
08-03-2006, 04:31
Once again ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around failed to air.

Instead a repeat of a popular TV video show., "Atheistic Rights Funniest Criminals caught on tape" was shown. The clip that won this episode was a car theif that managed to get stuck in the drivers window while trying to steal a car. In his precarious position he managed to hit wire the car AND drive it. Using his mouth to stear and hands on the peddles while the owner of the car found him trying to break in and used her shopping to bash him up while he tried to drive away... the theif did get away

Lion was to busy implementing his plan with with Soccer World that he failed to notice or care that Atheistic Right had lost.... again. His plans where liad he had everything he needed to bring Soccer World, down forever. Why would he do such a thing? Well really for no other reason that he could. That and he decided he had something against Bazalonia... probably because he found them just totally abhorent. Placing all those restrictions and not letting nature weed out the dull, stupid and ingnorant. But anyway... he pressed a button on his keyboard and all of a sudden his connection to the Soccer World MOORPG was lost.

What had he done? Well... in geek terms he using information gained as a CSR was able to hack into the core server as a root user. With this level of access he could do whatever he wanted to. The core server updates all the various other servers around the world, as well as storing authentication and other data. The core server programming was changed so that It would go through every computer hooked up to the server and delete all files on it, not only did it delete them but it over wrote the files many times. This not only destroyed all the Soccer World servers but it would wipe all of EG Inc.s Internal network including Soccer World as well as any other games that EG was working on. No client computers where affected just the servers. Support requests flooded EG INc... bu nothing was able to be done.

(OOC: I can do this to EG Inc. because I am also Bazalonia :p)
Kirstiriera
08-03-2006, 04:33
The Hopes of Qualification for Kirstiriera's Green Angels are getting a little brighter after drawing in Match Day 4... The next match could be do or die for the Green Angels in this tournament. They know that they cannot afford to slip up royally any time from here on in or they are in deep trouble.

The Manager and the Team are starting to get everything in order for the run to become a spoiler and a group dark horse.

(1 draw, 3 losses - tied for 8th in Group 1)

Next Three Opponents on the Draw Sheet: Collonie, Druida and Jeruselem

Kirstiriera is still searching for a new hope for the next year and a World Cup title... RTK will broadcast every match of qualification live all over Kirstiriera and the Neighboring nations of the Pacific...
Haraki
08-03-2006, 04:43
The Hawks staggered off the field, exhausted. The cheering crowd celebrated an Olliverian shutout, and the Hawks were back on a plane to Atherlon, where they would rest up before the next matchday versus Spaam.

The game had started off inocuously enough. Haraki had the kickoff and gave it to Zendar, who tried valiantly to take it down the field for a potential shot, only to be stopped by defenceman Tristan Lacombe, who managed to steal the ball from Haraki's star and give posession to the Oliverrians for another ten minutes or so, with two shots on net. Mark Stone stopped both of them.

Haraki played a tough first half, preventing any goals and trying for quite a few of their own, only to be stopped at every opportunity by Jean-Àlan Bellemort, Oliverry's superb keeper. Haraki got off five shots in the first half: Two by Zendar, one by Neils, one by Cortes and one by Sharp, while Oliverry got off seven. Mark Stone was on top of his game and stopped all shots. Heading into the second half, the game almost seemed to be a tie game.

Then came the second half. Haraki's weakness, a weaker second half, and Oliverry's unrelenting offence, simply swept away any Harakian chances of victory. From the Oliverrian kickoff to Richard Bourget's shot in the fifty-second minute, no Harakians so much as touched the ball. Bourget's shot rocketed away and Stone had no chance to stop it. Score one for Oliverry.

The determined offence only got worse for Haraki, as Zendar and Neils tried their double play that had worked so superbly in the Baptism of Fire, only to find that the Oliverrian midfields were more than a match for their passing, intercepting one and making a long pass of their own up to Tristan Carrière, who saw his opportunity and took a shot, that made its way past Stone. Only three minutes after the first goal, Oliverry had made another, bringing them up 2-0.

Harakian coach Lloyd Vargas, noting Oliverry's determination to offence and impressive ball handling skills, ordered Lawrence Foster off and Julie Vern on. She got the ball from Oliverry's latest goal, and took it away down the field. The Olliverians seemed unable to so much as get near the ball, she controlled it so well. She took it nearly all the way down the field, with a few short and quick passes to other players to mix up the play. It eventually ended with Vern making Haraki's first shot of the second half, which was stopped by Bellemort. He made a kick out to the midfields, and play continued. The two sides tried as hard as possible to win at least one more goal: Haraki to give them a chance of evening it up, Oliverry to further cement their victory. Haraki wouldn't get their chance.

With twenty minutes left to play, Regnier made a short pass up to Auguste, facing off against Cortes, doing his best to steal the ball. Instead, Auguste simply passed away sideways and slightly up the field, to the other side of the end where Richard Bourget was lined up. He took his shot and didn't miss. Mark Stone didn't make it in time, and Oliverry were three goals up. All hope was lost for the Hawks. They still tried to play, at least to make themselves feel better by not allowing the Oliverrians a shutout, but their hearts weren't in it. Sharp got off another shot, but it was stopped. By ninety minutes, the Harakians were way past gone. Although not quite as one-sided a game as some others that had been played in the group, the second half had clearly belonged to Oliverry in every way.

The defeated Hawks were soon back on a bus to the airport. None gave comments to newspapers or television stations. Vargas promised them an interview back in Atherlon, but not until. And the Hawks would practice and practice to face Spaam on Matchday Five.

Haraki 0 - Oliverry 3

(52) Bourget
(55) Carrière
(70) Bourget
[NS]Bazalonia
08-03-2006, 05:01
EG Inc. Press Release

For those that are awaiting the recent scores for the Soccer World Online Cup. As the SWOC matches where just about to get underway it seemed our Core Server suffered a major problem. As a result all of our servers spread around the globe also failed.

As a result of this massive failure and the consequences of it, EG Inc. has no option but to file for bankrupcy. We are sorry for all our customers who bought our software. And full refunds of any current subscriptions will be paid.

Exactly how this failure occured is being looking into by the Bazalonian Federal Police. Net Crimes division. And they will release their own statement about the failure.

The Soccer World Online Cup is therefore no more.

...........

BFP, Net Crimes Division - Press Release

A pre-limanry examination seems to indicate person or persons unknown managed to completely wipe all data and programs contained on the until recently successful MMORPG known as Soccer World as well as on EG Inc's internal network.

We are currently in the process of working out exactly what happened, how the person, or persons, involved got access to the core server and EG Inc's internal network. We are going through all network logs that we can get and seeing if there was some kind of pattern of suspicious behaviour that we can find we'll find it and bring purpertators to justice. Whereever they may be.

Further information will be released once we have it.

...........

Caine Hawdon was over joyed, 2 all draw against Praying2God. Who cares how it happened but a strong performance against a good team lifted his Spirits.

The Bazalopes may be at the bottom, or near the bottom of the table but surely that was going to lift and make themselves a force in international Soccer.
The Archregimancy
08-03-2006, 05:26
THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated.

"So... Fr. John.... Before we get on to the Swilatia match - what about the controversy raging over your own comments during our Rejistania show?"

"No comment, Fr. Nicholas"

"Not even over accusations that you've broken the commandment over not bearing false witness?"

"That alleged offence - and I will neither confirm nor deny whether an offence in fact took place - is entirely between me and my spiritual father. It's certainly not a matter for public discussion."

"Understood, Fr. John - so what about this Swilatia match?"

"Well, Fr. Nicholas, after those comments about our lads being 'religious wackos we all love to hate', we certainly weren't expecting a friendly reception at the Union Centre Stadium in Vilvek - and the Swilatian atheists didn't disappoint. Rarely have I heard so much booing during our usual pre-match parade of the Holy Icon of the Mother of God, Bringer of Victory."

"Can I just interrupt, Fr. John"

"Certainly, Fr. Nicholas... what is it?"

"Well, it's those Swilatian kits - atheists or not, surely that colour scheme has to be considered a heresy against fashion...."

<both laugh>

"I know what you mean - though the Swilatian national scheme of black tops (leaving aside that psychedelic polychrome bahunia) and white shorts put the lads into the awkward position of having to wear their change white shirts, but their regular home black shorts. Time for a third kit, perhaps.

Anyway... the match itself... Fr. Michael the New Hermit once again held off his threat of walking out on the team during Lent after discovering that the official state belief system of Swilatia was atheism - something which he feels very strongly about, no doubt.

In fact, Fr. Michael had a storming match - a quite uncharacteristic surging display from the usually quiet and cultured left back. Watch this magnificent 15th minute run followed by a cross that Fr. Silouan narrowly fails to convert.

But despite early dominance, our lads weren't able to convert against the 69th-ranked team - and might I add that their rank simply proves how sinful our opponents are. 69 indeed. Not that I know about that sort of thing from personal experience, mind."

"I do - I was married before my wife died tragically young, leading me into a life of monastic asceticism. So I have plenty of personal..."

"Very nice, I'm sure, Fr. Nicholas. But on to the match. In the 42nd minute it seemed that the Lord had forsaken us when the Swilatians scored this goal...
[OOC: no details in keeping with Swilatia's RP instructions]

Down 1-0 at half-time, the team no doubt used the break for some quiet time of self-reflection and prayer. And has become their habit of late, they came storming out of the gates in the second half.

Just ten minutes in, Fr. Silouan scored a goal for the ages - even unto ages of ages - when this pass from Fr. Basil the Faster was met with a looping half-volley from the outside of the foot that was perfectly placed into the upper left-hand corner. 1-1

And that's how it ended. Despite all the pressure, the lads couldn't break through a surprisingly resolute atheist home defence, and I think they'll be mildly disappointed with that result."

"I'm not so sure, Fr. John - have you seen the other results in the group?"

"Not yet, Fr. Nicholas. Why?"

"Well, first of all, there's this: New Preussen 1-0 Rejistania. Surely the upset of the qualifying campaign so far. Not that we're complaining, mind. And that was followed by: Bazalonia 2-2 Praying2God - a mighty effort by the Bazalopes against the heretics. Oh yes, there was also the Footie Dream Team 0-0 Popolus - but goalless draws between bottom-feeding heathens aren't quite as interesting.

But in any case, with the Orange-Blues losing, and PrayingFalsely2God held to a draw, things are looking incredibly tight in our group - and the bye system makes it difficult to get a feel for form. But I wouldn't be worried about things yet. A draw against Swilatia away pales in comparison to the benefits of the other results in the group this matchday..."
Green wombat
08-03-2006, 06:01
GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS
"Rectum? We damn near got killed!"

That quote given by Vice Admiral Henry Ford after today's game vs. Tajikistan. The Tigers swallowed the Wombats whole and spat them out 4-0, the worst loss so far for our young team. V. Adm. Ford's comments yesterday about not being afraid of any animal came back to bite us in the butt, literally.
Tajikistan's players came out to the match wearing sunglasses regating any possible advantage and they didn't waste time scoring. In the 4th minute Tigers' forward Zyrianov ran right through the wombats scoring from 16 yards out on a powerful blast. The tigers didn't wait too long to add another goal as 10 minutes later Zyrianov scored once again weaving through the defense like a tiger through a pack of gazelles. The wombats, after giving up 2 quick goals, started to play like men possessed every time Zyrianov touched the ball, the wombats tackled him hard and in the 33rd minute Major Pincher was redcarded for an illegal tackle. It only took Zyrianov 2 minutes to complete his hat-trick as he scored off a corner by Saradov.

the 1st half ended 3-0 tigers and most of the crowd left the stadium in disgust. V.Adm. Ford took out keeper P1C Johnson and replaced him with Corporal Holmes. Holmes, who hadn't played a minute in the Wc so far nor the BoF, was more than up too the task, but allowed a 4th goal in the 67th minute as Tulberdiev finished the scoring after another Wombat red card this one by Captain Crunch as he punched Zyrianov in the face, a blantant action. there is talk that Capt. Crunch my not only be suspended for the next match but for the rest of the tourney as well. Zyrianov only sustaned a blackened eye, but other than that his is fine.

Green wombat will now head to Green Zucchini for a crucal game in which the better Green will win. hopefully the wombats are hungry for zucchini.
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
08-03-2006, 06:23
ASMV Refuses to Lose Again - Bye Date is Great

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network

Today the Sea Dragons were at home as Group 11 played on. The bye date was much needed by the squad after the viscous turn of events in Lovisa. Since there is no Sea Dragon sporting news to report, we will offer a rundown of events in the WC27 qualifiers today.

Group 11

The Tigers of Tadjikistan proved to the Smelly Wombats that they are #1 in the group 4-0. The Wombats didnt even wimper as they rolled over to play dead.

Pastorville found some semblance of form as they beat Giant Zucchini 1-0. Becquerelia shocked the entire group as they earned a draw against Lovisa - maybe Lovisa should have detained their players as well. and the Emperor Pudu and Georgeonia played pinochle for 90 minutes while the scorekeeper got really bored.

This leaves 7 squads within 3 points of 2nd place Lovisa at this point. Looks like they better have airport security ready from here on out.

Elsewhere

In Group 9, Ariddia lost a heartbreaker scorefest to Nedalia 3-4. Group 8 saw Starblaydia crush Obsidianus 4-0. Group 4 saw Krytenia explode all over Palacetonia 7-0. Damn what a score. Group 3 saw our sisters nation of Dorian and Sonya fall apart against other newcomers Valertinette in a 0-2 loss. And our friends in Cuation and Hypocria also has bye dates as well.
Qazox
08-03-2006, 06:33
QAZOX CITY HERALD

Eauz showed why they are a top-10 team in the world, but for 88 minutes, Qazox held their own and only a contriversial goal in the 89th minute kept the Black Oxen from at least stealing a point form the top-ranked team in group 3
Eauz doesn't have names on thier jerseys only nuumbers so the only goal was scorde by #10, even though replays showed he was offsides by at least 2 yards when he scored. Qazox pleaded in vain to the referee, but the referee was steadfast in his claim that the goal counted. Time then seemingly ran out fast as only 15 seconds after Qazox started upfield to at least try to score, the match was whistled done and Eauz ran off the pitch. The QFC (Qazoxian Football Council) has offically protested this match with the WCC, but it is unlikely that they will overturn the match. A sellout crowd of 85,000 packed the SaxerDome in Saxervilla, but in the end Qazox is now 1-0-3 and has a tough mountain to climb to get back into contention.

In other news, the election of the new Holy Ox has only taken 2 days and Henri Livitas has been elected. He will continue the tradition and take the name Oxen XXVIII. Mika Riyok, the previous Holy Oxen was laid to rest today in Brickwall Memorial Cemetary. In some papers around the country rumors of Mika Riyok death as being attributed to foul-play, but no evidence as come up to prove so.

Qazox will head to Milchma tommorrow for its 5th match, and hopefully will get back on track. Here's Today's scores and up-to-date standings for group 3:

Qazox 0-1 Eauz
Hiiraan 0-2 Vilita
Tanah Burung 1-3 Milchama
Valertinette 2-0 Dorian and Sonya



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Eauz 3 3 0 0 9 0 9 9
2 Vilita 3 3 0 0 9 1 8 9
3 Elrich 3 2 0 1 5 4 1 6
4 Valertinette 4 1 1 2 2 4 -2 4
5 Hiiraan 4 1 1 2 1 3 -2 4
6 Milchama 3 1 1 1 4 7 -3 4
7 Dorian and Sonya 4 1 1 2 4 7 -3 4
8 Qazox 4 1 0 3 2 5 -3 3
9 Tanah Burung 4 1 0 3 4 9 -5 3

Qazox's Qualifing Schedule:
Match Day One--@ Elrich LOST 0-3
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran LOST 0-1 at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Attendence: 17,000
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya WON 2-0 at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Attendence: 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz LOST 0-1at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendence: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Seven--BYE
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
08-03-2006, 06:42
OOC - this is simply RP. I mean no insult to Lovisa in any way.

ASMV Players Still Fuming Over Lovisan Actions

ASMV Presidente Commandante today issued a statement concerning the actions of authorities prior to the Sea Dragon's match in Lovisa. Among other things, the Presidente Commandante called it an act "very much against the spirit of sportsmanship." The adress also indicated that ASMV would seek an official apology for the infractions.

"If the Lovisan government offers a sincere apology to our nation and our players, ASMV will not seek to take further action on this matter. The WC does not need to be delayed while this issue is sorted out." This comment came from Senior Advisor, Marquann Darivi. "We hope that this matter can be settled without further incident."

Malachi James, one of the detained players, had this to say. "It's not so much that we missed the match against Lovisa. They would probably have beaten us anyway. Though not nearly by the 5-1 margin the registered against our reserves. The real issue was that we could not see the country. Only that damn detention room at the airport."
Dorian and Sonya
08-03-2006, 06:49
Queen to Appear in Vilita

Queen Sonya of the Kingdom prepared herself for the journey to Vilita. It had been nearly 10 years since she had left her nation to visit another. But the young girls on the Kingdom's Unicorn squad were beginning to crumble under the pressure of so many road matches.

The Queen looked over the things she had prepared to take with her and smiled. Surely some gifts from home would do much to settle the spirits of the squad. Not that it would make a real difference against Vilita. But she had to try.

She stopped for a moment. Just what would the Vilitans think when the Royal Enterage arrived? Not that she really cared.
Qazox
08-03-2006, 06:59
"Wake-up!!" bellowed a voice, as Kyle Cartman awoke groggy and disoriented. He felt the side of his neck and felt the pinhole where a sleeping dart had lodged there however many days ago it was.

KC: Uggh... Where am I?

MRX: Well, Mr. Cartman, or should I say Agent 0007? You are in my lair.

KC: Who are you and where's the girl I was with?

MRX: You may call me Mr. X. and as for the girl? Who do you think shot you in the neck with a tranquilizer dart..hmmm? Agent 382638 is one of my people, even though I had to kidnap her son to get her to do it.

KC: What do you want with me?

MRX: Oh, nothing. Nothing but the utter destruction of the Q Continuum. you see Mr. Cartman, I just recently accquired the Command Codes for all of Qazox's missile bases and weapons platforms, thanks in no small part to Agent 382638. Your MIB-12's computer was easily cracked. As for how I'm going to destroy the Q Continuum? You see, if Green Wombat is attacked by Qazoxian missiles, they and their allies will do everything to destroy Qazox and its allies, thus ensuring the destruction of the Q Continuum.

KC: But why? Surely there are better ways to bring about the destuction of this region. Some of the other regions I have visited have a mutitude of countries with nothing better to do than invade regions.

MRX: Ah, but that would mean someone else would rule. I have found a way to prevent my destruction when the Continuum is destroyed, but I need your help Mr Cartman.

KC: My help? Why do you think I'll help you destroy everything?

MRX: Because of two reasons. First, I need the Tynelian Crystals you managed to liberate from Tynelia during the Baptism of Fire, after you killed Generalissimo Uarez. Only you know where they are located and the crystals are the only powers source strong enough to power my Anti-Time Chamber. and Secondly, I am the only person who knows what really happened to your twin brother, Keith, Mr. Cartman. I'll leave you alone for now to think my offer over. In one hour I'll be back and maybe if you help me, I may spare your life.

As Mr. X. walked out of the dungeon, Kyle searched the room for any means of escape, but none were found. He sat on the cot left in the room and began thinking of a means to escape, but thoughts of his brother Keith kept springing for his memories. He and Keith playing soccer in the backyard; their fishing trip to Lake Porter where Keith caught a 20 lb elkfish; being Keith's best man at his brother's wedding; holding their mother as Keith's coffin was lowered in to the ground. One phrase stuck in his head from his conversation with Mr. X: 'I am the only person who knows what really happened to your brother, Keith'. His goal of finding out about his brother's death was important, but was it important enough to sell his soul? Kyle walked to the dungeon's door and yelled for a guard. As the guard walked over to find out why he was summoned, Kyle made his peace with what he had to do.

Guard: What do you want?

KC: Tell Mr. X that whatever he wants me to do I'll do it.
Becquerelia
08-03-2006, 07:12
(OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? We wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/lovisa.gif Lovisa - (1)________(1) - Becqureliahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gif


BECQUERELIA EARNS DRAW
1-1 Result Is A "Moral Victory"


Roentgen (JNS) - "I have never been so happy to get a tie!" Screamed a enthusiastic Head Coach Macarius Ransome as time ran out on what might be one of the biggest stunners thus far in World Cup Qualifying: Becquerelia tied with former group leader Lovisa 1-1.

In a game that had all the indications of being nothing more than a charity event for the Society of the Orange Banner, and a offensive clinic by Lovisa, it turned into a back-and-forth game between two closely matched opponents.

By the 22nd minute, the ball had crossed the field and been shot at both teams goals 4 times each. But Lovisa finally got the ball in after a spectacular cross field shot by a Lovisan forward.

Immediatly, Becquerelia stormed right back, and just two minutes later, Forward Peter Constantine drilled the ball home for the National Team's first goal of the World Cup.

"I'm just glad we got this not scoring thing over with. It sure wasn't for lack of effort, but it finally clicked today. Hopefully this means we'll be scoring more in the next couple games." said Constantine after the game.

The rest of the game was a defensive stuggle as each team stopped advances into it's own territory, took the ball back, tried to bring it upfield, had it taken away, and the process repeated. The greatest amount of drama came in the very last minute of play, as Lovisa made a furious assault on the Becquerelian goal. They shot the ball five times in a one minute, each shot just barely getting knocked away until Goalkeeper David Deenen could jump on the ball to stop Lovisa's final goal scoring opportunity.

"Frankly, it was terrifying. All those Lovisa players close on goal, a couple shots bounced off the bars, Ceslaus [Goldsmith] made a amazing stop on sort of weak shot by diving in front of the ball, I was lucky to pounce on the last one. Lovisa put together a great drive at the end, we were lucky to get away with it."

Also, the fund-raising for the Society was a success, as over 2 million Courtains were raised. As Forward Ceolwulf Novoselic put it, "They surely got their money's worth. Maybe we should do this more often, seeing how well we did in the alternate uniforms. They must be lucky, or St. Henri smiled down on what we were doing or something. It's enough to make a man superstitous."

At the post-game press conference, a still jubulant Coach Ransome had nothing but praise for his team. "We scored points, we played hard against a world-class team, and that 1-1 tie is a definite moral victory for us. We are definitly turning the corner, and I'm positive you'll see us win some games soon. Because that's what we are really looking for: a win. Don't get me wrong, this tie is great, a moral victory for the team, but moral victories don't get you into the playoffs."




Becquerelia's Current Results and Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS

MD01: Becquerelia - 0 Pastorville - 2
MD02: Becquerelia - 0 Green wombat - 1
MD03: Emporer Pudu - 0 Becquerelia - 0
MD04: Lovisa - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD05: Becquerelia (0-2-2) at Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (1-1-1)
MD06: BYE
MD07: Georgeonia (1-1-2) at Becquerelia (0-2-2)
MD08: Tadjikstan (3-0-0) at Becquerelia (0-2-2)
MD09: Becquerelia (0-2-2) at Giant Zucchini (1-0-2)
MD10: Pastorville (2-0-2) at Becquerelia (0-2-2)
MD11: Green wombat (2-0-2) at Becquerelia (0-2-2)
MD12: Becquerelia (0-2-2) at Emporer Pudu (0-3-1)
MD13: Becquerelia (0-2-2) at Lovisa (2-1-0)
MD14: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (1-1-1) at Becquerelia (0-2-2)
MD15: BYE
MD16: Becquerelia (0-2-2) at Georgeonia (1-1-2)
MD17: Becquerelia (0-2-2) at Tadjikstan (3-0-0)
MD18: Giant Zucchini (1-0-2) at Becquerelia (0-2-2)
New Montreal States
08-03-2006, 07:13
THAT GIANT SUCKING SOUND IS OUR MIDFIELD

An archy reigns on the field as NMS falls 2-0

AN ARCHY - In a nation known more for baseball than footie, the Anarchists certainly proved themselves no mean players of the latter game, running over the Paladins 2-0.

A pair of early goals by anonymous Anarchists put the match away, with the team then stuffing ten in the box and managing to shut down Gilles Villeneuve. By the time the Paladins found their groove and managed to press some semblance of an attack, the match was essentially over.

We'd go on further, but this isn't fun to talk about, and we managed to misplace our copy of the An Archy roster, so we have no idea what we're talking about anyway.

PALADINS 0 - Bleah.
AN ARCHY 2 - Someone (whenever), Someone else (some other point in time)
Wentland
08-03-2006, 08:16
Wentland Times

Barnes Is Noble following Swift Half

It’s getting to be a bit of a habit. For the second time in the World Cup qualification, Wentland went behind to an early sucker punch. And for the second time Wentland came back to take victory.

Unlike the Priggdom game, however, this one was turned by a double substitution from Edgar Bluff that had the effect of turning the game on its head.

The Great Whites were evidently buoyed by their miraculous draw in Starblaydia and began the game with a flourish. Their 3-4-3 formation was causing problems for the Wentland defence, with veteran striker Hardy making up for his lack of pace with a keen intelligence. And it was a dummy run from him that set up the first in the first five minutes. A cross from Genis found both Jones and Jenkins marking the same man, leaving Verman free to sweep home.

After a first half in which the Swifts were more or less battered, Bluff decided to match fire with fire. A double substitution at half-time saw Wright come on for Ron Fletcher and Okey on for Don Fletcher, with Wentland moving to the same formation, the right-back Okey moving up front alongside Barnes and Treves. And the formation paid immediate dividends; catching East Lithuania cold from the re-start, a ball out wide to James saw him weave past Knapp and find Okey on the corner of the box, where he fooled everyone by cutting to the by-line and pulled the ball back to the edge of the six yard box. Weaver was stranded at the near post as the Swifts were suddenly queueing up to finish. And to the joy of the bench it was Tommy Barnes who side-footed home for his first international goal.

Now Wentland were on top and battering the East Lithuania defence, which was showing signs of fatigue. Another substitution on 75 minutes saw the tiring Barnes replaced by Tiny Smith and his height immediately added a new dimension to the Swifts’ attacks. With Kent, Okey and James pinging in crosses Smith was suddenly right in the thick of the action and the triple-centre-halves for East Lithuania were at a loss covering him and Treves. It took until the 81st minute for the winner to arrive, a Smith header being palmed away by Weaver straight to the feet of Treves who made no mistake.

Wentland sat back on their laurels as East Lithuania poured forward, but Okey reverted to an orthodox right-back (showing signs that he would be welcomed in The Archregimancy) and there was No Way Through. So 2-1, and although Wentland are mired in mid-table at present they can be proud that their two wins are the only defeats to date for their opponents.

Next up: Obsidianus, straight off a four goal tanking by Starblaydia, apparently eager to make up for their goal drought against East Lithuania. Oliverry were still looking mightily dangerous, cruising to victory against an eager Haraki side, and Priggdom were in an unexpected third, having overcome the defence of Shing-Shang.

***

The flight home was altogether more pleasant than the flight out.

Edgar Bluff was happy. He had taken a bit of a gamble and it was not working. But he could claim credit for the substitutions that turned the game. The Fletchers were not happy at again being used as sacrificial lambs, but he explained to them that it was nothing to do with their performance, he needed three across the back and anted to go more attacking.

John Capper was happy. He had used his man-of-the-match performance in midfield to get the Great White pennant as a souvenir. That was part one. Part two would have to wait a while.

Tommy Barnes was happy. A goal! Plus the other Crowhurst lads were not over-stressed by their involvement. The plan was still definitely on. And he was pleased that at the age of 19 he could consider himself international class. Well ahead of schedule.

Martin Smith slept. He was terribly tired.

***
The head of the Wentland FA kept flicking on the WBC website for news of the squad’s return home. He knew he was being stupid, but was this what The Predictor was thinking?

Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
Allied Anime Worlds
08-03-2006, 08:49
The following is an excerpt from Chronicles of the Federation, a popular newspaper in the Federation of Allied Anime Worlds

Federation still losing, fans still howling

The sports world giveth, and the sports world taketh away.

Not too long ago, the Federation was the dominant team. It was expected that we would not fare as well against seasoned teams, but today's heartbreakingly close game against Turori raise false hopes and has driven many Federation fans over the edge. Many Federation fans have taken to the streets to protest and demonstrate.

A brief note for our foreign readers. The Federation of Allied Anime Worlds does not have protests and demonstrations. Not because they're forbidden, or because our citizens are lazy, but because most of our citizens don't have much to complain about, at least as far as their government is concerned.

Secretary of Internal Affairs Amy Waters was shocked and frightened the angry demonstrators, and called for the NCT3PD to bring the situation under control. Ever mindful of the laws of the Federation, President Endymion interdicted the order.

"It is important for us to remember that Federation law guarantees the right of the people to congregate as they will, up to and excluding the point of violence," Endymion said on the nightly news, quoting the Constitution of the Federation. "The government must remember to stay true to the first part, the people the second."

The demonstrators were by and large individual citizens who have had enough with the Federation's losing streak, but there was one group in particular that stood out. The Cult of the Empress overshadowed the rest of the demonstrations with its organization and huge banners depicting the President in his soccer uniform.

"Bring back the president! Bring back the president!" the predominantly teenage and female group chanted as they wended their way through Neo-Crystal Tokyo 3.

"Just now when your country needs you most, you turn your back on us, President Endymion!" accused seventeen year old high priestess Placid Lun. "What would your lost love Empress Neo-Serenity think if she saw what you have done?"

But Amy Waters isn't the only one reacting emotionally to the protests. The Chronicles asked Secretary of Defense Raye Sun for an interview, and we were surprised when we were given an appointment not at the capitol, but at Sun's residence.

"That crazy cult has every officer and politician sitting on pins and needels," Miss Sun groused. "I told the Empress and then-Prince Consort Endymion that we should have banned religions when there was the political will to do it. But no, the law was dismissed as 'redundant and irrelevant,' and now we may pay for it. And what's with this 'Placid Lun' character? It's obviously not her original name. How did that stupid girl pass the General Test of Life and Political Skills?" she asked, referring to the test that, once passed, grants full citizenship, including the right to change one's name. "I think I'll suggest that the President arrange a meeting with this girl so she can 'present her case.' Hah! The little twit will probably wither and faint when presented with the real thing! More tea?" Raye asked, suddenly dropping down from her diatribe and startling the Chronicles' reporter.

We asked Miss Sun a few questions regarding the performance of the team, but she deflect them all. The Chronicles was also there for its usual round of post-game commentary, but also came up empty.

"I went into the locker room like I usually do," one of our reporters said, "but when I asked for commentary, they all just glared at me and went back to changing. Who are these people, and what have they done with our team?"

The Empress only knows, and that's assuming that she's sitting on the Diamond Throne in the next life instead of merely being long since recycled into Neo-Crystal Tokyo 1's ecosystem, and we've left even that behind. Unsurprisingly, there were few reporters willing to attempt that assignment. We'll just have to sit back and hope, and even pray to the Empress for the few that are so inclined, that the harried Silver Pandas will be able to turn tomorrow's game against Yafor 2 into a win.

The following takes place in Endymion's office. Chio Miyahama, Mahoro, and Raye Sun enter.

"At least now they're down to printing criticisms of two thousand year old policy decisions from members of my cabinet," Endymion chuckled as he finished reading the article. "Yes, come in, have a seat," the President invited his advisors. There was no trace of unease as Raye Sun took her seat.

"I read the paper today, Raye," Chio said. "Aren't you just a little uncomforable since you just criticized the president in our most widely read newspaper just the day before?"

"Not after five thousand years of working with him," Raye shrugged.

"The incident in question was at Miss Sun's residence, on her own time and money," Endymion said. "What Miss Sun says or does as a private citizen is no conern of mine or the government's, and that's not what I called you for anyway."

"What seems to be the trouble?" Chio asked.

"It's the issue of the Ohtari Academy," Endymion said. "Something is rotten about that place, and I've dedicated several people to remote surveilance after approval for the search warrants came in yesterday."

"What have you found so far?" Raye asked, leaning forward.

"We've combed through about seven hundred personal web pages, several thousand lines worth of chats, combed student organization's minutes, and taken aerial photographs. So far, we've been able to rule out the possibility that this school is just a shell, with automated algorithms generating everything."

"To what level of certainty?" Mahoro asked.

"As of right now, we are 99.997% certain. If this isn't a real school with real students, whomever behind it has a hell of a programming team and an army of andriods," Endymion said.

"So...what else?" Chio asked, puzzled.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only thing we've found is that suggests something wrong is their 'graduates' page, on which reserve midfielder Uten Tenshi is the only person. Well, there is one more thing, but like everything else so far, it leaves us with more questions than answers." Endymion pulled up his keyboard and typed while he talked. "Late last night, Chio and I decided that it was time to do some groundwork, so we sent someone to walk around the Ohtari campus and get the some up close surveilance of the grounds. Chio sent Andy Stone, Sergeant in the Magical Soldiers and child genius, sixteen years old. We sent him because we figured that he wouldn't arouse suspicion like one of our older officers. And now," Endymion turned the monitor towards his advisors, which had a picture of Sgt. Stone listed on an Ohtari Academy students page, "he's enrolled in the Ohtari Academy as a high school junior. Colonel Miyahama, what's going on?"

"Andy!?" Chio nearly jumped out of her seat. "Impossible! He'd never desert! He'd go on and on about how grateful he was to be out of high school and how military life suited him so much better! Besides, we sent him last night, and it's only 7:15 AM now! The administration buildings shouldn't even be open yet!" Chio seized the mouse and keyboard away from Endymion and worked furiously for a few minutes until she found the administration page. "See?! The administration building doesn't open until 9:30, and classes don't even start until 8:00! There's NOTHING open on that campus right now except the cafeterias!"

"It sure does provide more questions than answers!" Secretary of the Incredibly Obvious Mahoro said.

"It's magical compulsion!" Chio said desperately. "It must be! It...oh Emrpess beyond! Uten! She knows what happened to Andy. She must!" Chio stood up. "If you'll excuse me, Mr. President," she said, and turned to leave.

"Whoa there, Colonel!" Endymion called after her. It was even making him a little nervous to see Colonel Miyahama so thoroughly rattled, but he certainly wouldn't show it. "This country runs a lot smoother when my trusted advisors tell me what they're thinking before flying around lobbing accusations at people."

"Yes, yes of course," Chio said, getting a hold of herself and sitting back down. "It was on the bus yesterday, on the way home from our loss. Uten saw that I was frustrated, and she came up and sat next to me. I thought she was going to offer an encouraging word or two, but what she said chilled me to the bone. She said that...if I went to the Ohtari Academy with her...I could have the power to bend the world to my wishes. I know it's silly, but terrifies and excites me at the same time."

"I think this case calls for a more mature touch, Mr. President." Mahoro said.

"I agree," Endymion said. "I'll go. With Lieutenant Souske."

"I must object!" Raye said, jumping up. "Sending the President on a dangerous reconissance mission?!"

"I must," Endymion said. "We've already lost an excellent espionage officer on a simple walk-around mission. Promising young soldiers don't just walk off and register at some random school. Besides, you heard Mahoro. I'm the oldest one here."

Raye folded her arms. "I don't think the four paltry years you have on me is going to make any difference," she said. "Send Amy. Or me. Or heck, send the MPs! They can storm that place and take it over, if we can get a judicial writ acknowledging the possibility of compulsion magic being worked upon a Federation officer. It shouldn't be hard if Chio, you and I all testify."

"Remember how we used to do things? The old ways. I mean the REALLY old ways," Endymion said as he stood up and walked over to the wall. He pressed on a normal-looking panel and it swung open, revealing a tuxedo. "This seems like the kind of threat we used to face back then. It's a job for a hero, not a job for a government. I wonder if my battle tuxedo still fits. Any bets?"

"Mr. President, I should be doing this!" Raye insisted. "You're worth much more to the Federation than I am!

"Have you been keeping up on your hand-to-hand drills? How about magic? Can you summon up enough magic these days to even put a scorch mark on my regular suit, much less a dent in my battle tuxedo?" Endymion demanded.

"That's...that's not fair," Raye said defensively.

"Neither will our foes be," Endymion said. "Colonel Miyahama, relay a message to Lieutenant Souske. I want him in my office as soon as possible after the game."

Chio saluted. "Yes sir, Mr. President."

OOC: Well, if this isn't the tale that grows in the telling. Does anyone find this plot interesting? If not, I'll terminate it quickly.
Tynelia
08-03-2006, 20:22
“Once more, welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly and its continuing coverage of the World Cup 27 qualifying rounds. In its game against bettia that has just been completed, the Tynelian team gave Bettia its stiffest competition of the tournament so far but came up on the short end of a 2-0 score in front of 50000 screaming Tynelians who began to turn on the team late in the match. With me as always is Anna Dalespin and I’m your host Sal Spikeman. So Anna why would the hometown crowd turn on its countrymen like they did?”

“Its all about the offense sal, or in this case the lack of one. For the third time in four games Tynelia has been shutout and the fans aren’t happy about that. You’ll notice there was a split. All through the game the crowd was solidly behind the defense and Vladimar Malloy in net. However after each ineffective offensive push, the crowd grew more disenchanted with the lack of scoring until they finally had enough.”

“True enough and while ‘the Wall’ kept his word and held high scoring Bettia to a pair of goals, his offense did nothing to help him out. Now they have Nanakaland coming off a bye which gives them plenty of time to prepare for this match before going into what looks to be a much needed bye of their own to regroup. Hold on Anna, before you say anything I’ve received word from our on field reporter Dana Lee about some commotion coming from the Tynelian lockerroom. Over to you Dana.”

<Coverage flips over to Dana Lee standing outside the Tynelian locker room where shouting can be heard from within>

“Hello Sal, Tynelian coach Maracus o’Meara declined his usual post game chat and followed the team immediately into the locker room where he began screaming at them over their missing offense so far. Let’s try and listen in if we can.”

<holds the microphone near the door>

“…And what the hell do you think you’re doing out there Masterson. You’re the top scorer in the league and in the BoF and you had what 2 shots today? You’re supposed to be a scorer dammit not a bystander! Pytte, you’re the damn MVP and you haven’t done a damn thing either on offense! Its pitiful, teams are looking at the schedule and when they see us they think ‘hey we don’t even have to score to get a point off these guys.’ You’re supposed to be the best in the nation! Start playing like it! Malloy and the defense has given us a chance to win all four games and yuou people are screwing it up! Two goals! Two lousy goals in four games! Bettian papers claim they don’t even bother with defense and you people still can’t put anything in the damned net!

Are you people trying to disgrace your country? Are you trying to lose because I’ve seen damn little sign of the offense deciding to show up.Our defense has only allowed three goals so far. Less than one a game and we’re dmned lucky we even beat New Chazovnia. Do you think Nanakaland is worried about playing us? Do they have any reason to be afraid of us. Look at the Algars, they did worse than us in the BoF and they’re beating just about everyone. Are you people afraid of playing these teams? The Algars aren’t and you’ll be damn sure they’ll be even less worried when we play them after the break. You people are supposed to be pros. Start playing like it!”

<crashing sounds of trash cans being kicked over and soccer balls thrown into the steel lockers come from within>

“Ok shower up, time for some changes and maybe, just maybe the fact that YOUR OWN HOME CROWD was booing you people off the field like they should be will wake you people up. If playing for your country doesn’t inspire you maybe the humiliation of having your people turn on you might. Get out my sight and when you come back here tomorrow you damn well better be ready to play!”

<camera returns to Dana Lee still outside>

“Wow, Coach O’meara, like much of the country seems to have finally had enough of the subpar scoring of the team to date. Whether this explosion will pay any dividends or not we’ll see soon enough. Back to you Sal.”

<viewers return to the studio>

“Amazing Anna, o’Meara finally let the team have it didn’t he?”

“And not soon enough Sal. I do note that while he ripped the offense he made sure to let the defense know that he wasn’t blaming them for anything. And he has no reason too. While I’m sure Vladimar Malloy will be upset with himself for giving up those two goals, the defense played a very good game against the most explosive offense in the group. I’m sure even the Bettian team emerged with a healthy respect for the Tynelian defense.”

“That may be Anna, as the stats show they certainly tried to get the score up. Bettia outshot Tynelia by a 24-14 margin with a 5-2 quality shot edge. Tynelia tried to at least put the ball on net more but they were too impatient it seemed and most of the shots were rather harmless. Time of possession was also in Bettia’s favor by seven and a half minutes as they kept pushing the pace of play the entire game.”

“Yes, the offense again came up short, there were no sustained attack, usually a lone shot and a clear by the Bettian keeper and then everything fell back on the defense’s shoulders again. They held up well all things considered but the lack of any scoring whatsoever killed any chance Tynelia had for an upset.”

“Tynelia kept the game close early on and even after the Bettian first goal early in the second half at the 55th minute they seemed to still be in it as the score remained a one goal effort for a long time. Then when the Bettians broke through for their insurance goal in minute 81 after Tynelia tried to switch to a more attacking style they aren’t used to in a desperate attempt to score as time wound down. Naturally this created gaps in the defense and when Bettia broke for a 3 on 1 breakaway there was no chance for Malloy to stop the second goal from going in the net. It was here where the fans turned on the offense as they clearly saw that if the offense was doing its part there would have been no reason to change styles and give up that insurance goal.”

“The fans were right about that Sal. This goes back to the Green Wombats game when O’Meara tried an all out attack to keep pace with the Wombats, not used to the different style of play, Tynelia ended up losing to a team they had shutout the first time they met. Clearly this team isn’t designed for an attacking style but in this case I can’t really blame O’Meara for trying it. The brief hope of an offensive resurgence from the previous game had been pretty much dashed after the first half showed a return to the ineffective style of the first two games. He had to do something to try and steal a goal which would have tied the game and possibly stolen a point from the much higher ranked Bettia team. He gambled and it didn’t pay off.”

“So where does this put things for the upcoming Nanakaland game? They’re coming off a bye and probably watched a lot of film to be prepared for Tynelia. And the offense is back in the doldrums again.”

“Unless the offense starts putting the ball in the net it won’t matter who Tynelia plays Sal, because Tynelia won’t be able to win anything. However, there is a dim light at the end of the tunnel. Comparing our efforts to the Nanakaland one against Bettia in back to back games you’ll see Tynelia gave up half as many goals to Bettia as Nanakaland did. This could be seen as a sign that Tynelia might be able to keep the Nanakaland offense under control but again if Tynelia doesn’t start scoring all that means is a 0-0 draw which doesn’t do Tynelia any good in the standings with three teams already at nine points, Nanakaland just behind them with 6 and the Kazoo people only one point behind Tynelia. Quite frankly this is a must win for Tynelia but from what we’ve seen from them so far I don’t see that happening Sal.”

“That doesn’t sound too promising Anna. Things are looking pretty bleak then going into Tynelia’s bye. Why even a win still won’t be enough to put them in the top three and then everyone else will have an extra game to catch back up again.”

“Indeed Sal. Tynelia pretty much has to win against the Algar States too when they come off the break. They can’t afford to let the Algars get any further ahead as we near the halfway point. Bettia and Total n Utter Insanity, no one expects Tynelia to catch them in their wildest dreams. However they must focus on getting the third place spot and that means beating the two teams directly ahead of them. Nanakaland and the Algar States. What would also help is if the other teams start getting ties. With four teams coming up with three points each every game its very tough to make up any ground. If teams start tying while Tynelia starts to win then they can start making up some ground.”

“I guess we’ll just have to see how the cards fall after this next game and go from there then. Now to other matters, as many viewers know, last week we began, due to popular demand a special portion of our program to follow the simulated computer version of the world cup called the SimCup, hosted by the lovely Harmonie Harris. However, news has come forth where the entire program had been hacked into and wiped out ending any chance of that tournament being completed. However, after the piles of fan mail Harmonie received, most from seemingly single computer gamers, we’ve decided to keep her on the show. Now she will be covering the weather reports for each of the games to come. So, over to you Harmonie.”

<Harmonie beams at the camera as she stands in front of a large map of Tynelia>

“hello everyone! I just want to let all my fans know that I do read each and every letter my fans have sent to me and that the sixteen people who have sent me marriage proposals is very flattering but I’m afraid I have to turn you all down because it wouldn’t be fair to accept just one of them and get everyone else upset. Oh and here’s the weather for tomorrow’s game against Nana..ku..lind.”
<beams proudly after pronouncing the tricky name “correctly”>

“It looks like it will be a bright sunny day here in Tynelia with maybe a few clouds by the time the game starts. But its just a perfect day for soccer, or to get a tan if you’re going to the beach like I am after the show. Back to you Sal!” she finished energetically.

“Um, thanks Harmonie, but the game isn’t being played in Tynelia, it’s in Nanakaland. But thanks anway. So Anna, what is your final prediction for the upcoming game?”

“Like I said earlier, Tynelia can’t score and Nanakaland was shut out by Bettia too so I’m expecting a Risa-Aramour repeat and a 0-0 draw.”

“Ok then, there you have it soccer fans. Faith in the Tynelian offense is at an absolute minimum and we’ll all find out tomorrow if Coach O’meara’s ranting had any effect on his lackluster offense. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin and Harmonie Harris wishing everyone a good night.”

<credits roll>

TYNELIAN COACH ANNOUNCES ANOTHER SHAKEUP!

In a move that was expected after his much reported browbeating he leveled on the Tynelian team in the hopes of getting some offense, Coach Marcus O’Meara is once again tinkering with the lineup.

“Nothing seems to be working with our normal set so there’s no choice but to shake things up. Brian Kenders will be starting again against Nanakaland and Bret Brantley will be sitting again.”

A reporter then asked if that meant Brad Collins would be back in the lineup O’Meara shook his head and answered.

“Nope, not at all. Lynn Evans will also be starting. We’re switching to a 4-3-3 attack for this game. Maybe having both sets of teammates on either side of the field at forward can wake the offense up. Something had better…” he finished rather ominously.

So more changes for team Tynelia. The last two times O’Meara has tried to mess with the lineup to get more offense bad things happened. Will that track record continue or will team tynelia finally find a way to put the ball in the net because of these newest changes?
Elrich
08-03-2006, 20:58
The Elrichian Emerald

BASSETT VISITED HOBBLE BEFORE DISAPPEARANCE
Police chief admits "Evidence leads to one conclusion"

In a stunning and unbelievable twist in the Peter Hobble saga it has emerged that on the day of Mike Bassett's mysterious dissapearance, he had visited werewolf player Peter Hobble in that morning.

The last person to see Bassett, striker Jamie Mudge, had this to say to a packed press conference prior to the game at Vilita last night,

"I bumped into him on my way to the airport. He seemed a bit nervous, said he had to tell Hobble the bad news about the international decision.... I wished him luck. I didn't realise that it was significant.... until I told Doddsy. I can't believe what's happened".

So, a healthy and happy Mike Bassett goes to tell an angry and unpredictable werewolf in the stages of transformation bad news and is not seen since? Draw your own conclusions. Police investigators burst into the Hobble cottage after the national assistant Dave Dodd's had alerted them to the revelation. Inside, they found details of a struggle - overturned furniture and blood, as well as a series of fingerprints and DNA from Hobble, Bassett and another unidentified person. Detective Inspector Brian Knowles of Elrich Yard had this to say on the situation,

"From our evidence gathered, we can safely say that Bassett did visit Peter Hobble's home on the morning of the disappearance. We know that Bassett was in the house, as was Hobble and we have also identified fingerprints and DNA from an unidentified other. We will persue all lines of enquiry, but yes, the evidence does point towards a certain conclusion. Please may we urge any witnesses in the area to step forward, your help could prove invaluable."

Not surprisingly, the distracted Elrichian players slipped to a 4-1 defeat at the hands of Vilita, but enjoyed a week's rest to re-focus and get their heads around the situation.

Where is Mike Bassett? Where is Peter Hobble? Who is this unidentifiable man? Is Bassett alive? Find out here, first, in the Elrichian Emerald.
Nedalia
08-03-2006, 21:11
The Nedalia Lions

Ariddia Scoreline Brings Back Memories

Wavecrest City Stadium, Ariddia - Nedalians would be forgiven for thinking they were watching a re-run of a match from one the earlier Lions squad, with a scoreline reminiscent of the days when the Nedalian attack was quickly gaining reputation as one of the most lethal in the business. Those days are long gone, but have not been forgotten by the citizens of the southern AO nation.

“Attacking football is our lifeblood. I cannot stand watching Rejistinia or whatever theyre called play. Absolutely torrid. I’ve had a couple of friends who actually suffered strokes attempting to watch their games…and I’m not the only one,” commented pub owner Johnson Johnson.

His sentiment is pretty much shared amongst all Nedalians (as well as their eastern neighbors, the Bettians, putting more fuel to the theory that Bettians and Nedalians are actually related somewhere down the line), but it has been a while since the fans were given the sort of performance they’ve desired, the Cup of Harmony Pastorville match not withstanding (8-1 was the score).

Having played Ariddia once before, and recently at that, the Lions were able to prepare adequately for what they knew was, horror among horrors, a defensive team. In fact, manager Brent Vent told the squad before the match that Ariddia were part of the “Defence Rules All” secret society, and they were planning, secretly ofcourse, to annihilate all that was offensive football. Whether the little white lie worked or not is up for question, but the Lions came away with a Nedalian-esque 4-3 victory on Ariddia’s turf, gaining the much coveted 3 points to put them back a position of contention.

It’s well documented that superstar Krytenian based striker Tim James had a rough campaign last time around, but he showed no signs of that against the Ariddians, scoring the first 2 goals of the match in less than 20 minutes, putting the Lions up in a grand fashion. Having gone through a terrifying Ulek, the squad was able to maintain its composure, bouncing to its early lead. Those 2 goals, his only of the game, brought his tally up to 3 goals in 3 games, an encouraging sign for a team that managed to find the net oh-so-rarely in World Cup 26 qualifying campaign.

Despite going up 2-0 in the first 20 minutes, it would not be a Nedalian team if they somehow did not collapse defensively and allowed the opposing team to counter with goals of their own. In fact, thanks to goals from Ismail Faraj and Frederic Clement, in the 54th and 61st minute respectively, the Lions found themselves on their heels attempting to deal with a team they had originally thought as defensive. Apparently, someone forgot to tell the Lions about the announcement that the Ariddians were going for an almost all-out attack style this World Cup, and when Ismail Faraj scored again in the 77th minute, all hell broke loose on the Nedalian bench.

Brent Vent subbed out Jimmy Kelly, who after having a dazzling first two games was largely ineffective, and brought in Hrjove Brando, fresh off of a Premier League championship with his club Honsfield Athletic. It proved to be a masterful move, with Brando hitting two goals in less than 10 minutes to give the 3 points back to Nedalia in an insanely competitive match with the Ariddians.

With one of the trickiest ties in Group 9 facing the Lions out of the way, Nedalia now has to make sure it doesn’t slip up against teams its supposed to beat and maintain its current form to ensure that it leaves itself place to atleast be in contention for qualification at the end of it all.


Around the World Cup

Tough match in Group 1 for Jeruselem, but they managed to escape from the Atheistic Right with 3 points after a grueling 1-0 match, leaving them with a 2-1-0 record, good enough for 2nd place in the group behind surprising leaders, An Archy. Collonie, a team which Nedalians are not especially fond off, pulled a fantastic victory at home against Druida, defeating them 3-0 and placing them 3rd in the group. Druida, on the other hand, are in 7th place, having only taken 4 points from their first 3 matches, and are 4 points behind the leaders.

Bettia are starting to make the Nedalian media believe that they might have finally found the secret to attacking football while not conceding goals. They recorded their 2nd straight clean sheet against an impressive Tynelia side, winning 2-0 away from home. They top Group 2, but only on the fact that they have scored more goals than the 2nd placed Total n Utter Insanity, who rampaged through Risa-Aramour 4-0. Meanwhile, The Kazoo People and The Weegies, 2 teams that were supposed to be fighting for those qualification spots, are situated in 8th and 7th place, respectively. Both are 6 points off the top, with Group 2 increasingly looking like a 2 horse race, with all due respect to Algal States, who are tied on points with the leaders of the Group. There is not enough belief going around that they will be able to keep it up, though a push for that qualification spot could very well be in the books for them.

Group 3 is definitely turning out to be a competition between the top 3 teams so far (Eauz, Vilita, and Elrich, in that position), with the top 2 tied on points, and Elrich 3 points behind. All have only played 3 games out of 4 thus far as well, with Vilita and Eauz both recording away victories, albeit very hard fought ones, on Matchday Four. The major surprise of the group lays in last place, where Tanah Burung is situated. They lost at home to Milchama 3-1, and it doesn’t seem their situation will improve unless they can pull themselves together. Speaking of Milchama, the “New Hypocria” can be found somewhere in the middle of the table, right in line with that the “Old Hypocria” used to do.

The new “New Hypocria” (or just Hypocria if you’d like) pulled a fantastic 3-1 away victory against Legalese in the unofficial “AO Derby Group”, or “Group 4”. That places them in 4th placed, 3 points of the top, and having played only 3 games from 4. The top of the group still belongs to Sarzonia, however, despite Krytenia’s mockery of Palacetonia’s football team. The Kryties came away with a massive 7-0 away win, pushing them up to 2nd place after a rather inconsistent start to their qualifying campaign. That leaves Lethislavania in 3rd, and Legalese in 5th, all just 3 points apart. If there is a Group of Death in the tournament, its definitely going to be this one.

We’ll skip over to Group 8, where Starblaydia is having trouble unseeding Oliverry from that 1st place position. Despite their 4-0 away victory against Obsidianus, they remain in 2nd place. Why? Because Oliverry defeated Haraki 3-0 away from home. Priggdom continues to surprise, defeating Shing-Shang 1-0 and positioning itself in 3rd place, 1 point ahead of Wentland, the team that, on paper, should be in 3rd place.

Kelse’s cinderella story has quickly been put to an end in Group 9 by Commerce Heights, who defeated the home side 4-0 to go top of the group. Audioslavia barely escaped with a 3-2 victory over Pedriana to keep their 100% record intact, but have not looked the part as of yet. They do, however, occupy 2nd place, with Kelse in 3rd and Nedalia in 4th.

We’re going out on a limp and we’re going to predict that Tadjikistan will be seen, at the very least, in the semi-finals of the actual World Cup. Their performances thus far have been impressive, with their latest defeat of Green Wombat (4-0) away from home providing a preview of what might be coming. Lovisa, who might be, thus far, the best offensive team in the campaign, are situated in 2nd after drawing with Becquerelia 1-1. Pastorville vs. Giant Zucchini was definitely the game to watch in the group this matchday, and it was Pastorville who came away with the 1-0 victory, pushing them into 3rd place.
Sarzonia
08-03-2006, 21:17
Battle of the Stars benefit friendly announced

WOODSTOCK (ASP) 8 March 2006 -- The Sarzonian national football team announced today that it has reached a tentative agreement to play its benefit match against a team of all stars from Nedalia's top flight football league during the team's second bye date. The teams announced that proceeds from concessions, match tickets, and any donations made in the days leading up to the match itself will go to the Bryan Marshall Memorial Stars Care Fund.

"We're pleased the Nedalians agreed to the benefit match so quickly," Incorporated Football Federation Chairman and national team coach Dave Wilson said. "They have really stepped up to the plate to ensure that we are able to play this match and arrange things so quickly. It should be a very entertaining match for everyone involved."

Donations can also be made in specially marked boxes that will be made available at the stadium. Event organisers are hoping to generate enough money to put food on the table for families in the Woodstock area. The announcement also comes on the heels of the Nedalian government reaching an agreement with Sarzonian Vice President for Business and Commerce Janis Hedge to provide jobs to the Sarzonian economy through the opening of retail and manufacturing sites in major cities in Sarzonia.

"This provides us with a singular opportunity to do something concrete to end the recession," Hedge said in a press release announcing the deal. "The ability to create concrete job growth by adding new positions will go a long way toward starting us on the path toward real long term healing of our economic travails." Hedge also said the deal included a massive order for warships at the Portland Iron Works.

"That will give PIW an opportunity to start hiring back some of their workers they had to lay off at the height of the recession," Hedge said. "We anticipate that these moves, plus the prospect of investment by several other nations, will grow our economy tremendously. The light's at the end of the tunnel and it isn't an oncoming train."

Wilson welcomed the move by Nedalia and the $3 million donation by the Hypocrian Football Association to the Fund.

"We are delighted to see that concrete steps have been taken to address the economic ills that have plagued our nation," Wilson said. "The fund may do little more than provide a brief respite from the recession, but we're hoping that this, in combination with the increase in investment and the creation of new jobs will bring about the recovery our country's been crying out for."
Georgeonia
08-03-2006, 21:27
Group 11
Green wombat 0-4 Tadjikistan
Becquerelia 1-1 Lovisa
Pastorvillle 1-0 Giant Zucchini
Emporer Pudu 0-0 Georgeonia

Squids Earn Solid Draw Away From Home

A dogged performance from the squids last night secured a deserved point away from home against fellow newcomers Emperor Pudu. Both sides seemed unwilling to risk losing the match, adopting defensive formations, and taking few chances. Cap'n Bob, the team's coach deflected criticism from certain quaters after the game, insisting that this overly cautious attidude was valid, and that at this stage getting points was a more important objective than entertaining the handful of fans who made the long trip to Emperor Pudu. Striker Jim Majewski speaking after the game was upbeat, "lets make no mistake here, this was a great performance. If we can beat this team when we play them at home later in the campaign then we will have taken 4 points from six and will be on course to move up the table."

The result leaves the squids in an impressive fifth place in a competative group twelve, well above pre-tournament hopes and expectations. Our next match sees our boys travel to Lovisa for what will undoubtedly be a tough game against the group's second seeds. Let us hope we can take some positives from this result into that game. Elsewhere in the group class outfit Tadjikistan continued their inexorable march towards qualification with a four - nil drubbing at Green Wombat, whilst Becquerelia and Lovisa held each other to a draw. Pastorville continued a sucessful campaign beating the higher ranked Giant Zucchini to move into third place.
Swilatia
08-03-2006, 21:40
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif

Yesterday Swilatia had a tie with the reigious wackos of the The Archregimancy. The match seemed very long, as only two goals were scored one by Swilatia and one by The Archregimancy. We are glad not to have lost to those fools.

Today Swilatia will not have any matches, as today is Swilatia's bye day, and because the freindly opponents for today have not been selected, even though the potential for Matchday 14 is still wide open.
OOC: What did the Archregimancy mean by Swilatian authorities. If he TGed me, it would be good.
Wentland
08-03-2006, 22:02
If it’s MD5, it must be Crowhurst. The sprawling noughts-and-crosses city of two million was all abuzz in the football world because of the remarkable experiment of Tommy Barnes. In a place where all sorts of ideas take root and flourish people were willing to listen to a precocious teenager who had an idea to create a team of inestimable gifts.

It seemed to be working. From being stuck in permanent lower-mid-table mire Crowhurst was pushing for the title. Not bad for a team whose average age was 19. Indeed, their ONLY age was 19, the entire side being made up of Barnes and his schoolfriends. Despite being a team rather than a collection of individuals, three of the team had been capped and a fourth (goalie Dennis Tracey) was on the brink.

The thing about Crowhurst is that it is an almost mesmeric place for strangers. Everything looks the same. Apart from a municipal park in the east of the town and, almost to ensure a mirror image, the Sequor Stadium in the west. The entire town is built to an ultra-rigid grid pattern:

http://img467.imageshack.us/img467/158/crowhurst6st.png

The inhabitants take it all in their stride. To the untrained eye there is no difference between districts. But to a native it’s easy. Look at the fire hydrants. The stripes on the kerbs. Every district has some distinctive building or colour scheme that sets it apart. Your fault if you don’t look.

Perhaps Obsidianus would be numbed by the journey through miles of deserted, monotonous streets. But the people of Crowhurst had been robbed of a qualifier in the last World Cup so this one would make up. And what would Obsidianus’ players make of the odd chantery? “Come in a cello, you must have come in a cello…” “You’re so Stoic it’s unbelievable…” The Crowhurst crowd was notorious for its randomness. Every different area of the ground – almost a sandstone cube of warm beige – had its own peculiarities, from the inflatable herring in Gate 33 to the rotating seats in Heaven’s Gate. Many people wondered why Okey had never made it there. But they were united in, if not winning, the sheer artform of the game.

As for the team…Bluff went for the same team that finished the East Lithuania game, but with Barnes at the head of the forward line for Smith. With an instruction to run the Obsidians ragged.

***

The WFA chairman spoke to his assistant. “So there were no problems at all?”

“No, perfect landing.”

“Hm. No-one strange hanging around?”

“No. Okey said he’d seen a figure in a purple cowl, but he was probably listening to Apricot Explosion on his ippod thing. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason.”

That’s the last we’ll hear of the Predictor, thought the chairman.
Casari
08-03-2006, 22:06
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Losing at home, winning away story of Casaran Soccer
Keeping sanity apparently too much to hope for

In classic Casaran style, a soul-destroying home loss to lesser competition was followed up by a decent win against the same.

A somewhat unispired 3-1 win over McPsychoville punted Casari back up the tables once again.

---

"I don't know, the team just doesn't seem to have that winning spirit this year." Graham said into the phone, back in his office preparing for the next game against Crna Gora Liv Eng.

"Spirit? You just watch. I'll show you spirit." Hill said, slamming the phone down on her end. Sometimes it seems like they did things like try to get her fired just so that she would motivate the team more.

"Spirit? They should be prepared for a slaughter soon." She mumbled, getting on the team bus.
Rejistania
08-03-2006, 22:09
This match never happened! At least that is what the Rejistanis said after the match against New Preussen.

Story of a defeat:

1. Rejistanian team arrives on the airport, is directly exposed to horrible German weather

2. At the customs Jeri's computer and other important things were confiscated

3. they only had German food like Sauerkraut and Bratwurst

4. Beer however was good and abundant

5. The team was hungry and drunk at the matchday

6. Jeri saw a computer showing an error-message on its screen in the stadium, was told no one was able to fix it so far

7. Jeri accepted the challenge and went into deep hack mode.

What do we learn: Everyone can defeat a hungry, drunk and demoralized rejistanian team lacking the best player.
Starblaydia
08-03-2006, 22:46
Back on Track, Blacks on Rack
Starblaydia open up Obsidianus with four

That was more like it! Starblaydia consigned Obsidianus to their fourth defeat in a row, putting four past their goalkeeper. A reduced-strength side from Starblaydia still managed to breach the inexperienced defence seemingly at will, with Dasha Tolkacheva opening the scoring within ten minutes.

Roberto Vega doubled Starblaydia's advantage before half time with a drilled shot from way out, giving the Obsidian manager a whole new type of team talk to give. Khim Azanulbizarn, however, had only one message: "more of t'same"

Which is exactly what happened, Jade Matranga ghosting into the box unmarked and tapping home from a cutback by Charry Garcia. Shortly after Garcia was again involved as she slid a ball out wide. Most other strikers wouldn't have managed to latch onto it, but Dash is something special. Sheer speed got ther to the ball in front of the left-back, before she cut inside, darted into the penalty area, jinked into the centre and fired into the top-left corner.

Four goals was how it finished, Starblaydia scrambling up to second in the group behind Oliverry with their 100% record. Another should-win game against Shing-Shang will be played tomorrow, with a different yet still not full-strength side being played. That one is being saved for the game after, against Oliverry.

Final Score from Obsidianus:
Obsidianus 0 - 4 Starblaydia
(None) - (Tolkacheva 8 & 64, Vega 39, Matranga 61)
The Kazoo Peoples
08-03-2006, 23:04
Imagine choruses singing. Imagine harps playing. Imagine... the end of a long, frightful road.

THE KAZOOS HAVE WON!

Their first win in World Cup 27 was a resounding relief, both for the fans, and for Ministry of Sport executives.

"Well, I'm just glad they won. I might watch tonight's game on TV instead of watching Deal Or No Deal. Naw, I'll still watch Deal Or No Deal," remarked one fan.

It has been that kind of World Cup, folks. Many fans are more inclined to watch primetime game shows than a primetime World Cup match. But it's not as if fans have no reason to not watch the Kazoos; the Kazoos have been on a steady decline ever since their star goalkeeper Jim Johnson had been out with a hernia and stomach flu. Johnson was cleared from medical before the match, and was allowed to play.

"I feel a hell of a lot better," remarked the goalkeeper. "It has been a tough few weeks for me. I thank my well-wishers for sending me 'Get Well Soon' cards. I still have a bit of the stomach flu, but I can play."

Johnson did look up to snuff today, as he only allowed one goal, enabling the Kazoos to win the match. His performance looked like the World Cup 26 Johnson we know and love.

The Ministry of Sport also breathed a sigh of relief, as it looked like they wouldn't have had to find a new Head Coach for Matchday 5.

Had he lost against The Weegies, we would have terminated his contract. Our next Head Coach would have probably been Neil Kabants, who was described by his former employer (Milchama) as "a nut from Collonie who has been turned from every job he has ever applied for since World Cup 23 when he led Milchama to a last place finish." However, it was our only option, had we sacked Aka. But Aka is in good standing after winning this game. But another term has been added on to his contract, through much negotiation: if Aka loses two games in a row, his contract will be terminated. The Kazoos must finish in at least sixth, as well for Aka to maintain his job.

You want to know about the match? Oh, well okay...

Basically, with the return of Jim Johnson to the lineup, The Weegies never stood a chance. The Kazoos possessed the ball 34 minutes to The Weegies measly 11, with the Kazoos up 1-0 after the first half. The first half goal was scored at minute 31 when Perknowleski broke downfield toward The Weegies' goal. A fancy bit of footwork allowed Perknowleski to dump the ball off to waiting forward Jonny Lampshade, who pounded it into the goal.

The second half was an entirely different story, as the ball was closely contested by both sides. At one point, Kazoo forward Chadd Johnson substituted out momentairly and went into the locker room, only to reemerge with a pillow in hand, much to the delight of the predominantly Kazoo crowd, despite the match being held within Weegie territory. He substituted back in, and proceeded to lay down on the field, taking a nap. The referee, upon noticing the downed player (14 minutes after Johnson had began), ran over, only to award Johnson with a yellow card for "unsportsmanlike conduct." The pillow was then removed from the pitch.

"I was tired. Coach makes us stay in practice until ungodly hours, sometimes as late as 4 o'clock in the morning. Our vigorous 14-hour practices make you tired.

During the "pillow fiasco," as has been dubbed by some fans in a local pub, The Weegies managed to score at minute 74.

"Yawn," said one confused pub patron.

For the Kazoos to snap the longest losing streak in the history of The Kazoo Peoples, something needed to be done quick.

Luckily for the Kazoos, a late charge (minute 81) allowed the national side to score the second goal of the match (minute 83, Lampshade). And that's how it ended, 2-1 Kazoos.

"I'm real proud of our boys. They did a great job today facing a tough team," said Head Coach Manni Aka. He quipped, "And I'm also thankful for the win, as it allowed me to keep my job. *chuckles*"

Matchday 4 Recap of Group 2:

Group 2
Risa-Aramour 0-4 Total n Utter Insanity
Tynelia 0-2 Bettia
The Weegies 1-2 The Kazoo Peoples
The New Chakovnia 1-2 Algal states


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bettia 3 3 0 0 10 2 8 9
2 Total n Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 8 0 8 9
3 Algal states 4 3 0 1 8 5 3 9
4 Nanakaland 3 2 0 1 5 6 -1 6
5 Tynelia 4 1 1 2 2 3 -1 4
6 Risa-Aramour 4 1 1 2 2 6 -4 4
7 The Weegies 4 1 0 3 4 7 -3 3
8 The Kazoo Peoples 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3
9 The New Chakovnia 4 0 0 4 4 11 -7 0

After matchday 4, could anyone predict this order? Bettia and Total n Utter Insanity topping the group, sporting a perfect record was obvious, but Algal states? Yes, Algal states, the nation who managed to defeat the Kazoos 3-1 on Matchday One continues on their pace to playoff for qualification. Nanakaland follow with a mere 6 points, whilst Tynelia and Risa-Aramour follow with 4 apiece. In 7th is newly-defeated The Weegies, while 8th holds your Kazoos, struggling to keep themselves from the cellar. The New Chakovnia is still winless, but they were expected to be near the bottom anyway.

PROGRESS IN WORLD CUP 27:
MD1: loss to Algal states 3-1, home
MD2: loss to Total n Utter Insanity 2-0, home
MD3: loss to Milchama (friendly) 4-2, home
MD4: win over The Weegies 2-1, away
MD5: Risa-Aramour, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: Lowland Clans, TBD (friendly)
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away

---
KAZOOS IN CYBERSPACE...?

The Balazonian publisher responsible for the massively successful Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG) released an intriguing statement earlier today. Apparently, some hacker or other virus got into the EG Inc. Core Server, causing all other related servers around the globe to fail. This bears bad news to all who were following the Soccer World Online Cup, as the servers hold all data responsible for producing scores.

In an even stranger announcement, EG Inc. also announced that they had filed for bankruptcy, with refunds offered for those who had unused subscriptions on the game. For more, we look to the EG Inc. statement:


...
Exactly how this failure occured is being looking into by the Bazalonian Federal Police. Net Crimes division. And they will release their own statement about the failure.

The Soccer World Online Cup is therefore no more.

The Balazonian Federal Police released a preliminary report, the full text available here:


A preliminary examination seems to indicate person or persons unknown managed to completely wipe all data and programs contained on the until recently successful MMORPG known as Soccer World as well as on EG Inc's internal network.

We are currently in the process of working out exactly what happened, how the person, or persons, involved got access to the core server and EG Inc's internal network....

Further information will be released once we have it.

So, in lieu of printing scores, we will just print the scores that we did know before the catastrophic data failure.

After Matchday Three...:
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Nanakaland 3 3 0 0 9 3 6 9
2 Tynelia 3 3 0 0 5 1 4 9
3 Algal states 3 2 1 0 5 3 2 7
4 Total n Utter Insanity 2 2 0 0 9 0 9 6
5 Bettia 2 1 0 1 7 6 1 3
6 The Kazoo Peoples 2 0 1 1 2 7 -5 1
7 Risa-Aramour 3 0 0 3 1 5 -4 0
8 The New Chakovnia 3 0 0 3 1 7 -6 0
9 The Weegies 3 0 0 3 0 7 -7 0

And, as always...:
PROGRESS IN SOCCER WORLD ONLINE CUP
MD1: draw with Algal states 2-2
MD2: loss to Total n Utter Insanity 5-0
MD3: OFF
MD4: The Weegies, away
MD5: Risa-Aramour, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: OFF
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away
Spaam
08-03-2006, 23:14
Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


Good Defense Not Enough

Spaam's defense finally let an opponent's goal through in their away
loss to Oliverry last weekend. A gritty game where Oliverry dominated
offense and the Waffles dominated defense gave a game were the visitors
didn't look like scoring, but neither did the home team either. There were a
couple of chances from the Waffles captain Ivey, but it looked like Spaam
were just looking to draw against the much higher ranked team. However, in
the 67th minute, the defense cracked when young number 14 Piran Venton
gave Oliverry striker Marc Boulanger a penalty kick which he converted to put
his team in front one nil.

Oliverry never scored again, but the damage had been done. The game
ended with Spaam's first loss of qualifying, and sent them plummeting down
the table. Coach Gee was very pragmatic after the match: "We were facing
a team that we knew that we would probably lose against, but we gave it our
all nonetheless. To go down by only one against such a strong attacking
team is a testament to our abilities as a team. However, we will regroup with
our week off, and hope to come off firing against our old foes Haraki in two
weeks time." Spaam faces 6th seed Haraki in next week after their bye.

Oliverry 1:0 Spaam
(3 Boulanger 67)

The Group Of Death

Last week saw a big upset with the top seed and number 7 Starblaydia facing
some suprising defense against East Lithuania. The game finished in a nil all
draw and prevented the former world champions from surging to the top of
the table. The other results were more predictable though, with Haraki
beating Shing-Shang one nil and Obsididanus going down at home to Priggdom
two goals to one. Wentland had their bye this week.


Stablaydia 0:0 East Lithuania
Haraki 1:0 Shing-Shang
Obsidianus 1:2 Priggdom


The loss saw Spaam drop down to 4th position, but only ahead of Starblaydia
on goal difference. Oliverry and Haraki are no surprise at the top, with
Obsidianus fighting hard to keep the wooden spoon.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Oliverry 2 2 0 0 7 1 6 6
2 Haraki 3 2 0 1 2 2 0 6
3 East Lithuania 3 1 2 0 5 3 2 5
4 Spaam 3 1 1 1 5 2 3 4
5 Starblaydia 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4
6 Priggdom 3 1 1 1 6 7 -1 4
7 Wentland 2 1 0 1 4 5 -1 3
8 Shing-Shang 3 0 1 2 2 8 -6 1
9 Obsidianus 3 0 0 3 1 7 -6 0

There were no suprises this week, which is unfortunate for the Waffles.
Starblaydia made short work of Obsidianus in their 4 nil away win, Oliverry did
almost as well with a 3 nil away win against Haraki. Wentland managed to
get the away win against the suprising East Lithuania with a two goal to one
scoreline. And Priggdom made it a clean sweep for the away teams, winning
one nil against Shing-Shang.


Obsidianus 0:4 Stablaydia
Oliverry 0:3 Haraki
East Lithuania 1:2 Wentland
Shing-Shang 0:1 Priggdom


Critics correctly predicted Spaam dropping to seventh with their disappointing
performance so far. Oliverry and Starblaydia have taken their rightful
positions on top of the table, but it is Priggdom who have suprised all by
being third, equal with Starblaydia on all but goal difference. Obsidianus will
have to suprise to not end up with the wooden spoon, with four losses and
only one goal to their name.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Oliverry 3 3 0 0 10 1 9 9
2 Starblaydia 3 2 1 0 8 1 7 7
3 Priggdom 4 2 1 1 7 7 0 7
4 Wentland 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
5 Haraki 4 2 0 2 2 5 -3 6
6 East Lithuania 4 1 2 1 6 5 1 5
7 Spaam 3 1 1 1 5 2 3 4
8 Shing-Shang 4 0 1 3 2 9 -7 1
9 Obsidianus 4 0 0 4 1 11 -10 0

Plijous Watch

Spaamanian Plijous have had two losses in a row, giving Spaamanian fans two
weeks of disappointment. To their benefit, however, the Gulls are still yet to
lose by more than one.

Last week they flew to Jon Parkin (and his team), and found out just how
good Parkin was. In a battle of the egos, Parkin and Gulls captain Alan
Belmore told their respective teams to just stand around while they had a
game of one on one. It was a good match, with the score tied at two goals
apiece with 1 minute remaining, until Belmore's leg fell off, allowing Parkin to
get the match winner. After the match, Belmore said "Parkin braaains." His
leg was successfully sewn back on, but he was ruled out of the next match.

Jon Parkin 3:2 Spaamanian Plijous
(Parkin 20, 41, 89) (Belmore 25, 47)

This weeks match saw the Gulls fly to Nieuw Duijnen in Uhuh-Topia to face
the Sandrianese, but without their star striker and captain Alan Belmore.
With this lack of attack on both sides, the game looked to end up a scoreless
draw, until San Adriano's loan striker and captain, Et Wih, scored in the 72nd minute.
There was nothing to be done after that, with the game going the
Sandrianese way, to the delight of their regent, Princess Serena. From his
hospital bed in Plijous, Belmore said "Grrr arrrgh Serenahhh".

OOC: I'm sorry I chose your goal-scorer, but you're not RP-ing, and you
only have one striker. If you want, I can change it, but I have done what I
have done.

San Adriano 1:0 Spaamanian Plijous
(11 Wih 72)

The two losses see the Gulls drop to seventh, like their motherland, which is
excellent for a team ranked 150 places lower. They face second seed
Schiavonia next week in what should be a whitewash, but Alan Belmore
should be back in the side.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
6 The Macabees 4 1 1 2 3 8 -5 4
7 Spaamanian Plijous 4 1 0 3 5 6 -1 3
8 The Islands of Qutar 3 1 0 2 4 6 -2 3

Next Week

Spaam hosts Haraki in what should be a great match between two veterans
of the game. It won't be an easy game for the Waffles either, with the team
likely to be happy with at least a draw. Starblaydia plays Shing-Shang at
home in an easy match, Oliverry might have a little trouble with Priggdom at
home, though anything less than a win will be suprising, while Wentland
should have no trouble dispatching Obsidianus. East Lithuania have the bye.
Wins are predicted for all the home teams except Spaam.

Our Belmore Is Better Than Yours

TBF Belmore did well last week, getting four goals, but did not manage to
score this week. Plijous Belmore was out this week, so added nothing to his
score, but managed to score two last week. As a result, TBF Belmore has
more goals, but Plijous Belmore has managed to score more per game. So
yes, our Belmore is still better than yours!

Spaamanian Plijous Alan Belmore: 5 goals / 3 games (1.7 gpg)
The Belmore Family Alan Belmore: 6 goals / 4 games (1.5 gpg)

On This Day

Around this time 100 years ago, Spaam played its second qualification match
ever, against Vortexicca. It was a close match, ending 2 nil, and continuing
Spaam's maiden unbeaten streak.

Vortexicca 2:2 Spaam

Statistics

Goal Scorers

No Name G P
1 Ewa Ivey 2 3
17 Mylor Goss 2 3
4 Crewenna Roskelly 1 3
7 Colan Trebilcock -1 2

History

1 Spaam 4:1 Obsidianus W
2 Shing-Shang 1:1 Spaam D
3 Oliverry 1:0 Spaam L
4 BYE
5 Spaam ?:? Haraki ?


Photo Opportunities

21 year old midfielder Crewenna Roskelly in a domestic match (left).

http://qwipster.net/bendit.jpg
Becquerelia
08-03-2006, 23:23
(OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? We wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)

And we turn again to see what's ahead:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gifBecqurelia____at____Andossa Se Mitrin Vegahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/andossa.gif

BECQUERELIA ON THE ROAD AGAIN
Hopes For Victory Against Rested ASMV Team


Errion Vega (JNS) - Today, Becquerelia hopes that the momentum earned by two straight ties at home are going to carry through in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega.

"It's a must win game for both teams. We're mired at the bottom of Group 11, and the Sea Dragons are coming off a five-nothing loss to Lovisa." said Assistant Coach John Meurer. "We've got some momentum, after tying Emporer Pudu and Lovisa, but Andossa is a seasoned team that will obviously want to win this one."

"Part of the loss to Lovisa may have been because some of their players were detained by Lovisa authorities. They won't have any of that today, so they could prove problamatic." Commented Assistant Coach Alexander Helmcamp.

Becquerelia's Captain was all optimism though. "Our defense has been nothing but strong all tournament long. We've bent some, but we're not going to break. We'll be able to keep this game close." said Defender Christopher Fullbright.

The game will be played at Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea, and broadcast nationwide without commercial breaks thanks to Centrifuge Sports and our sponsers.
Haraki
08-03-2006, 23:31
"Mr Vargas! Mr Vargas!"

He took the makeshift podium set up in front of Champion Field with a rough smile on his face. Evidently practice had either been going well, or not. Either way could have ended up with his face looking the way it was. One thing was for sure: the Hawks weren't playing average football through the large wall behind him. "Yes?" he said, pointing at one, a short woman clamouring to get her microphone above the others.

"What do you think about the game versus Oliverry?"

"I think we lost. I think if we had more opportunities to score goals, we could've ended up with a much better game. The first half was almost even, it was the second where we ran into trouble. A lot of trouble. They have an unrelenting offence that we just couldn't break, and even a keeper like Mark [Stone] couldn't stop all their shots. They deserved the win. It was well-earned. But, as with East Lithuanis, I look forward to facing them again. The tides might swing in our favour."

He was evidently feeling longwinded.

"Mr Vargas, what do you think your chances are against Spaam?"

"If we play as aggressively and offensively as we can in the first half and score some points, we can win it. That's why I'm going to be removing Lawrence Foster from the starting rotation and putting Julie Vern in instead. She can handle the ball and give us a lot more posession time. I think we have fair to decent chances versus Spaam."

"Mr Vargas, will you be making any other player rotations for starting against Spaam?"

"Not yet. Maybe once we get into the game, if we're losing. I might switch it up then."

"You're fifth in the group, putting you exactly in the middle, with two wins and two losses. But your wins are always much closer than your losses Care to comment?"

"Not really. Our wins are because of our playing strategy. I've said it before, you all know what it is. Our losses are because of aggressive and determined offensive teams. Sure, it would be great to get a really one-sided game to bring up our goal difference, but I don't think it's going to happen. Sorry."

"Are you disappointed with the team's performance versus how you did in the Baptism?"

"The Baptism was easy. We won all but one game, and only allowed three goals in nine games. That's a very good record. We knew the Cup would be a lot harder, and we were prepared for that. I'm not disappointed in any of the team."

"Are you dreading the away games?"

"What the hell kind of a question is that? No!"

"Are you looking forward to playing Atherlon U[nited] without their best players?"

"These questions have gotten ridiculous. I'm out of here."

He walked away from the podium to a chorus of shouts, and went back inside the stadium.
[NS]Bazalonia
08-03-2006, 23:35
Press Release - BFP, Net Crimes

The investigation is continuing. We cannot say much about what we have learnt about the cause of the catastrophic failure of Soccer World. However we do have a number of leads. We are also in the process of getting in contact with people who have subscribed to Soccer World to see if anyone noticed anything during their play time. We are also getting in touch with a number of Customer Service Representatives.

Progress is being made. Slowly but surely the purpertrators will get caught

.......

At the BFP, Net Crimes building...

"Stan... What do we have on this Soccer World-thing yet." (Luke)

"Well to be honest, not much. We back-tracked the attack and it came from an IP of a network printer. Luke, unless we get some pertenant information from the subscribers, or the CSRs... We're stumped." (Stan)

"****!"(Luke) there was a few moments of silence when the office boy came in with some good news.

"Sir. We've got another lead. According to subscribers a CSR known as "lino" was asking weird questions." (Un-named person we don't care about)

"Stan.. get as much information on this Lino as possible. See you later, I've got a lunch-date with my wife."

..................

"Peter Hobble & Mike Basset are missing?!" James yelled down the phone...

inaudible mutterings came from the other end.

"Okay, so what do your police think?"

the same inaudible mutterings came through the phone.

"No, No.. I can't believe that, even as a Werewolf, Peter would not do that."

... inaudible mutterings.... again

"Whoever that thrid set of DNA & fingerprints belong to that's the culprit."

Very annoyed mutterings still inaudible

"No... My hand does belong here. I'm sure the BFP would like to get involved. Considering Peter Hobble is a Bazalonian Citizen and plays for our team.."

Angry mutterings... do I have to say that it's inaudible?

"Well... good for you too." James slamed the phone shut on to it's receiver nearly breaking it.

"That should put a bug up their <insert vulgar term for rear-end>. And went over to his desk looking over reports of their last match.
Magnus Valerius
09-03-2006, 00:24
The Isangrad Times

Crna Gora Liv Eng Chop Suey!!
Magnus Valerius Wins MD4 vs. Crna Gora Liv Eng, 1 - 0

Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD, Magnus Valerius -- Finally back at home, the Boyars were ready to roll. Even the crippling defeat at the hands of McPsychoville did not wear down the morale and spirit of the team and the fans. The Tsar's Arena lies on top of an islet within the River Vedus; the River Vedus cuts right through the middle of Isangrad, and divides the city into the two distinct New and Old Cities. The mighty supspension bridge, Enosis Bridge, spans across the river, with a waypoint so people could access the islet the Tsar's Dome is located on. Fans of 'Pavlov's Dogs' rushed to occupy the collossal stadium, with a seating capacity of 79,495 seats. They were pleased to see the Boyars eke out their first victory of the World Cup, 1 - 0. Although not a drastic win for the Boyars, it still was enough to keep the fans cheering and waving their full-size Valerian flags. Even the tsar rolled out to see the game before he got angry at the service and fled back to the Imperial Palace.

Ilya Pavlov, the coach, decided that he would use the subs in the game. They are skilled, but they have been benchwarmers for the past couple of games. Ali ibn Dumat subbed for Gustav Sibel for goalkeeper. The defensive line for the game versus Crna Gora Liv Eng consisted of Yves De La Ronge, Victor Potyemkin, and Nikolai Gorskii. Midfield saw Johnathon Song, Yeufimei Bashkirsky, Luca Romanus and Heinrich Zerbst in action. Today, alongside the star of the team, George Illyanich, were Kyrill Feodorov and Gannibal Ioannidis.

The game started off slow. Crna Gora Liv Eng's Dragomir Mirek continued to block all goal attempts made by George Illyanich and Gannibal Ioannidis in the first 25 minutes of the game while Ali ibn Dumat refused to let Zvonko Viktor Aleksander score against Magnus Valerius. The game seemed to have slowed to a standstill until Kyrill Feodorov, out of nowhere at the 46th minute, takes a right arc from Korean-Valerian and childhood friend Johnathon Song and sends it flying past Mirek, who was unable to block Kyrill's clean, straight shot. Illyanich and Song both ran up to Feodorov and celebrated, while the fans in the stands began singing the national anthem, as if this was the World Cup Finals. They knew the game was won, and it sure was.

Yves De La Ronge and Nikolai Gorskii put up an awesome defensive front that quickly downed any hopes for Crna Gora Liv Eng in scoring an equalizing goal. However, George Illyanich and Kyrill Feodorov were unable to break through the solid defense, which even the Valerian fans have to applaud for its resilience in spite of Magnus Valerius's advantage at home. The game finished with a 1 - 0 win for Magnus Valerius and a serious consideration from Coach Pavlov into adding Johnathon Song and Kyrill Feodorov into the starting line-up; if not this World Cup, then World Cup 28 will see their faces at the start.

Eslewhere in Group 10, Imperial Moose took a dive when the crazy Canucks from Hockey Canada defeated them 1-3. McPsychoville suffers from some bad karma as they lose at home versus second seed Casari 1-3. Majeristan reigns in Kaze Progressa with a 2-0 which knocks them down below Magnus Valerius to rank 8. Tomorrow, Magnus Valerius plays off versus top seed Hockey Canada, which may end up in a slaughter. Then again, Magnus Valerius was able to hold off Harlesburg, the 4th seed, into a NIL ALL draw. Whatever the outcome, it will be a good experience for Magnus Valerius's national team.

Group 10
Imperial Moose 1-3 Hockey Canada
McPsychoville 1-3 Casari
Majeristan 2-0 Kaze Progressa

Magnus Valerius's MD 4 Game Goals:

Magnus Valerius - 1 Goal
46th -- Kyrill Feodorov (#23)


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Hockey Canada 3 3 0 0 8 2 6 9
2 Majeristan 4 3 0 1 8 5 3 9
3 Casari 3 2 0 1 6 2 4 6
4 McPsychoville 4 2 0 2 7 6 1 6
5 Harlesburg 3 1 1 1 2 2 0 4
6 Imperial Moose 4 1 1 2 4 7 -3 4
7 Magnus Valerius 4 1 1 2 2 6 -4 4
8 Kaze Progressa 3 1 0 2 3 3 0 3
9 Crna Gora Liv Eng 4 0 1 3 1 8 -7 1

MD01: Casari v. Magnus Valerius L 3-0
MD02: Magnus Valerius v. Harlesburg T 0-0
MD03: McPsychoville v. Magnus Valerius L 3-1
MD04: Magnus Valerius v. Crna Gora Liv Eng W 1-0
MD05: Hockey Canada v. Magnus Valerius
MD06: Magnus Valerius v. Kaze Progressa @ Nikeah Bowl, NIKEAH
MD07: Majeristan v. Magnus Valerius
MD08: Magnus Valerius v. Imperial Moose @ Seaside Dome, ALEXANDRIA
MD09: Free Day
MD10: Magnus Valerius v. Casari @ Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD
MD11: Harlesburg v. Magnus Valerius
MD12: Magnus Valerius v. McPsychoville @ Nikeah Bowl, NIKEAH
MD13: Crna Gora Liv Eng v. Magnus Valerius
MD14: Magnus Valerius v. Hockey Canada @ Seaside Dome, ALEXANDRIA
MD15: Kaze Progressa v. Magnus Valerius
MD16: Magnus Valerius v. Majeristan @ Tsar's Area, ISANGRAD
MD17: Imperial Moose v. Magnus Valerius
MD18: Free Day
Swilatia
09-03-2006, 00:30
The Vilvek Times
8th of March 2006 | Price: One Swilla
Media Controversity: Will it End Soon or not?
By Radomil Joachim
Yesterday and Today the two news reporters Goerge Célestin and Blazej Arkadios, who work for the Privately owned media company "Swilatian Broadcast Corporaton" (often called SBC), referred to The Archregimancy as "religious wackos", in the companies so-called News Alerts. this has led the citizens and government of The Archregimancy to be against Swilatia because some have mistaken this for a official government statement. The company is planning to apoligize for the rude comments made by the two reporters, as the company owner does not agree with the two reporters. However he is unsure whether this will end the controversities that have risen up after the first of the two SBC news alerts that contained the nasty comments.
Continued on Page 3
OOC: I will not post a page 3, as the important stuff is in here.
The Archregimancy
09-03-2006, 00:55
MONASTIC TIMES

MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION ACCEPTS SWILATIAN APOLOGY

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association today accepted the apology from the owner of the privately-owned Swilatian Broadcasting Company for the comments made by Goerge Célestin and Blazej Arkadios.

"We accept that the comments by Célestin and Arkadios were those of private individuals, and in no way reflect the views of the Swilatian government or official Swilatian authorities" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We in turn would like to apologise for our role in the misunderstanding for our mistake in believing that their comments represented the official views of the Swilatian government. While we abhor the sentiments expressed by the atheists Célestin and Arkadios, we accept that they have the right to express these views under Swilatian law." The issue is believed to have been resolved following a private message from the Holy Synod to the government of Swilatia.

Despite the mutual apologies, Monastic Football Association officials and team members are still said to be concerned that the views expressed by the influential SBC presenters are widely held in Swilatia, where atheism is the official national belief structure. "Let's just say I've encountered friendlier crowds" said team captain Fr. David the Water-Drinker.

Other officials are hoping that the resolution of this case may serve as a model for the on-going Rejistanian controversy, as it sets a precedent whereby rival nations with incompatible religious views agree to respect the right of each others citizens to disagree on matters of a theological nature without recourse to legal action.
Bedistan
09-03-2006, 01:02
Matchday 5 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10546964#post10546964) are now available.
Krytenia
09-03-2006, 01:39
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
All You Palace Are Belong To Us
by Rami Niblick in Palacetonia

THE rebuilding is back on track. Three poor scores were blown away in the space of ninety minutes as the Aces slammed seven past a woeful Palacetonia side in their own backyard, serving up a record away victory in the process.

The mauling started on just four minutes as Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips latched on to a slide-rule pass from Sauvage to slot home, and before the quarter hour mark he could have added two more as the home side's defence was put to the sword. In the end, it was a corner that gave the visitors their second, Tony Aspell scoring his first ever goal for the national team. Gabe Kennedy added a third from distance shortly after the half hour, before JJP got his second with a cracker from the edge of the box late on in the first half.

The second period provided no let-up for a bedraggled Palacetonia side, as Jaffacake-Phillips completed his hat-trick, volleying home with his weaker left foot. A second from Kennedy followed five minutes later, before Andrew Pedroso's fine free-kick finished the rout on seventy-five minutes. Rorysville look similarly sacrificial at this stage; expect more of the same.

PALACETONIA - 0


KRYTENIA - 7
Jaffacake-Phillips 4, 44, 53
Aspell 26
Kennedy 32, 58
Pedroso 75

SCORERS:
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 3 (+1 Cafetiere Cup)
G. Kennedy - 3
T. Aspell - 1
A. Pedroso - 1
R. Sauvage - 1

FIXTURES:
MD01: H v RCO W 1-0 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
CAF1: A v FMJ L 1-2
MD03: H v LTH D 1-1 (Walton Gardens, Simpson)
MD04: A v PAL W 7-0
MD05: H v RVL ????? (Midland Stadium, Bromham)
MD06: H v SRZ ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD07: H v HYP ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD08: A v LGL ?????
MD09: H v VAI ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: A v RCO ?????
CAF2: H v FMJ ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD12: A v LTH ?????
MD13: H v PAL ????? (Lays Road Ground, Leston)
MD14: A v RVL ?????
MD15: A v SRZ ?????
MD16: A v HYP ?????
MD17: H v LGL ????? (Oxley Park, Everton City)
MD18: A v VAI ?????
Praying2God
09-03-2006, 01:58
6-YEAR-OLD WARRIORS UPSET IN FINAL MINUTE BY SOUTH OSETTIAN REFEREE
Foul play suspected in food poisoning of regular national team

A team of 6-year-olds came within a tenth of a second of doing what no Praying2God national team has done before...earn a point in a match refereed by a South Osettian. However, it is suspected that the South Osettian referee waited .11 of a second too long to blow the whistle to end the match. The 6-year-olds played admirably against 201st ranked Popolus, taking an early 1-0 lead and keeping the match even at one from the 66th minute until the controversial goal at the end of the match. The 6-year-olds were playing because a case of food poisoning struck down the whole national team, including its coaching staff. Praying2God authorities are looking into the suspicious situation to determine possible suspects. It is believed to be the work of somebody from a nation that does not want to see the Warriors qualify, and costing them the easy three points in this match was a golden opportunity for them. The South Osettian referee wasn't so fortunate, as he was arrested upon leaving the stadium and taken to an undisclosed location. We have no word on his current status. We will pass along more information as we get it.
The Archregimancy
09-03-2006, 02:31
"Whoever will come to us with a sword, from a sword will perish"
Alexander Nevsky, Grand Prince of Vladimir


THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"So.... Fr. John.... New Pruessen.... How'd we do?"

"Magnificently, Fr. Nicholas. Not since Alexander Nevsky defeated the Teutonic Knights at the Battle of Lake Peipus in 1242 has an Orthodox nation so comprehensively defeated German crusaders!"

"Erm.... I thought this was a football match, not a 13th century battle against heretical crusaders?"

"Crusaders, footballers.... As long as they claim to Teutonic knights or Prussians - new or old - it's all the same to us, Fr. Nicholas."

"What about the match itself, Fr. John?"

"Well, as you can see from this footage, an unseasonable cold snap had hit our nation, and the entire pitch was covered with snow and ice. Indeed, due to heavy rain the preceding day, the area around the visitor's bench was covered with an icy sheet. As they charged from the bench area to the field to meet our brave Orthodox footballers, the entire New Pruessen starting XI fell through the ice. I understand that they're perfectly OK - God be thanked - and will be ready to play in matchday 6, but they all had to be treated for possible hypothermia, and were unable to take the field in time for the kick-off. So New Pruessen were forced to field their second XI, and it pains me to say that they weren't very good.

Only three minutes in, Fr. Silouan out-thought and out-fought the Teutonic defence, and sent this low shot past the goalkeeper.

Three minutes later, Fr. Silouan scored his second, meeting this lovely cross from Fr. Pavel the Wanderer.

And three minutes later, Fr. Silouan scored his third with this mazy dribble through the centre of the New Pruessen defence - three goals, all three minutes apart, starting in the third minute... What better way to honour the Holy Trinity this Great Lent?

The lads relaxed the pace after that, but were still clearly the better team.

In the 41st minute, Fr. Michael the Greater rose to meet this corner from Fr. Michael the Lesser - and 4-0 at half time.

It's a pity the crowd was virtually non-existent given the reluctance of many monastic football supporters to attend matches during Great Lent, because they were witnessing a clinical dissection of inferior opposition.

The second half was much quieter, with only this 55th minute screamer from Fr. Constantine the Learned adding to the goals tally. And 5-0 was the final score.

After the match, the squad venerated an icon of The Holy Forty Martyrs of Sebaste, whom we also commemorate this day - while the comparison is perhaps slightly overblown, I understand that the squad were inspired by the example of the Forty Martyrs in facing their enemy in wintry conditions."

"I thought they were inspired by the example of Saint Alexander Nevsky at the Battle of Lake Peipus, Fr. John?"

"That too, Fr. Nicholas. This is an Orthodox team. There's plenty of saints to go around. What about the other Group 6 results? Any upsets there?"

"I'll say! How about Praying2God 1-2 Popolus? Not sure what happened to the Sabellian heretics there, but a 2-1 home loss to a team we defeated 4-1 must be cause for concern for the Heretical Warriors. And might I note that despite the slanderous insinuations to the contrary, we had nothing to do with it. Monks don't cheat. Meanwhile, Rejistania 3-0 The Footie Dream Team showed the Orange-Blues in most un-takelan form, but after their shock defeat to New Pruessen in matchday 4, they had something to prove. Finally, the Rordia fairytale continues: Rordia 2-0 Bazalonia. Rordia are currently leading the group, and can only hope their unexpected form lasts into the second half of qualification..."

"Thank you Fr. Nicholas! And next on Monastic TV, Fr. Michael the Steward shows us how to decorate our monastic cells this Lenten season...."
Mr Chuck Norris
09-03-2006, 03:05
Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Hello anyone on the face of the planet who still care about the Fighting Norris, this is CNN. The Fighting Norris played abnormally well in their most recent match at The Lowland Clans, who are ranked 42nd in the world and came into the match following a 2-2 draw against Rolatia, a 1-3 loss to Liverpool England, and a 1-0 win over TheSuncoastofFlorida. All of the signs pointed to a Lowland Clans win, a homefield advantage, significantly higher rank and above average record in Group 7, but the Fighting Norris managed to scrape out a 1-1 draw. Here's how it went:

Mr Chuck Norris 1 (Chuck Norris 81)
The Lowland Clans 1 (Ryley Bloudin 18)

The stadium at The Lowland Clan had a few Fighting Norris fans dispersed throughout the stands, but The Lowland Clans following was definantly the dominating portion of the spectators. Morale throughout the Fighting Norris team was low after a 2-5 flogging by Liverpool England, but they still appeared determined to play their hardest.

The match opened with little to no offense from either side, caused mostly by the constant switch of possesion between the two teams' midfielders. The battle at midfield raged for several minutes with both teams eager to conduct a charge but neither able to cordinate one. However, Quentin Mackallen, a strong midfielder of The Lowland Clans was able to break away from the beehive at centerfield to initiate their first good attack. He seperated from Fighting Norris midfielder Zach Brickhouse, giving him an open lane to the Fighting Norris defense. Once there, he was challenged by Fighting Norris defender ♪, forcing him to dump the ball off on his fellow forward and friend Ryley Bloudin, who was wide open for a shot, which he fired past Fighting Norris goalkeeper Mr. Bednarik for the first and only goal of The Lowland Clans in minute 18.

The remainder of the half showed a major offensive struggle on both sides on the ball. With both teams' defenses performing so well, this was not a good day for an offense to struggle. The half concluded with The Lowland Clans up a goal, but the Fighting Norris were still seeing the glass half full, evident in their aggresive start to the second half.

Play resumed at minute 46 at the conclusion of halftime and the Fighting Norris instantly revved up thier first good charge of the day. Fighting Norris midfielder Paper Mario recovered the loose ball and tore down the field at blainding speeds avoiding the defense of The Lowland Clans. He looped the ball over to none other than famed Fighting Norris forward who... do I even have to say it anymore? Anyone who has even payed one milisecond of attention to any one of our newscasts can give a pretty good guess as to what he did with ball. For those of you who are new to the program... he roundhouse kicked it... out of bounds... setting up a goal kick and ending the Fighting Norris' first drive. Nonetheless, Chuck would get his revenge. After wearing away the defense of The Lowland Clans for 36 straight minutes of the second half, Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick in the 81st minute finally planted the ball in its rightful home, the opponents goal. This tied the game up at 1-1, which after several failed drives by both teams, ended up being the final score.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm glad the game ended how it did", exclaimed coach of the Fighting Norris, Bob Janney, after the match. "Although I'm not so pleased with the fact that despite playing better than expected in all of our games, we still sit in sixth place in our group, which will not set us up to qualify by any means. With matches coming up against The Bellmore Family and Rolatia, we hope to catch up to the top three in our region, Liverpool England, Turori, and Yafor 2, who are pulling away in our group. I see it this way, we need to start winning and either Turori, Yafor 2, or both of them need to start losing. Our next three matches are versus Rolatia, on bye, and at The Bellmore Family, which I can hope we can net six points over, putting us at 11 points total. The Lowland Clans, who are only beating us on a goal difference, have The Bellmore Family, Turori, and Rolatia, where they need to either score less than six points or score six points but with a miserable goal difference. That would put us above them. TheSuncoastofFlorida have Yafor 2, Allied Anime Worlds and a bye coming up, meaning they will probably only earn as much as 3 points, puting them at 10 total, behind us assuming we win both of our matches. That would bump us up above them also, which bring my attention to Yafor 2 and Turori, who currently both have 10 total points, five more than ourselves, meaning over the next three weeks, the chances of us catching up to and passing one/both of them are next to nil. The way I see things, I am setting the bar for our team at fourth place in our group going into matchday 9, when we are at Turori, which will be a vital match to our success."

He walked off without us having the chance to ask him why he was rambling about speculative outcomes of future football matches instead of rambling about the match that had just concluded. He's apparently both optimistic and excited for the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned to CNN to see how they unfold.

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2 (Loss 1-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds (Win 4-2)
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida (Draw 0-0)
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England (Loss 2-5)
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans (Draw 1-1)
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Fighting Norris Record: (1-2-2)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
09-03-2006, 03:08
ASMV Returns To Form

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network

ASMV was glad to be at home for the match against Becquerelia today following the fiasco in Lovisa on MD3. It was nice to see the 135,000+ fans who filled Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea to cheer on their beloved Sea Dragons. And it was really nice not to hear the silence of an airport detention room.

The match began just the way ASMV wanted it to. Becqueleria moved down the field to be greeted roughly by the Banta-N’bai brothers. This first massive collision set the tone for the rest of the match. The Sea Dragons met every challenge with bone-crushing authority, determined that Becqueleria would find no opening to gain an advantage.

In the 18th minute Micah Swift made a hard tackle that sent the ball bouncing free on the right side of the field. MalachI James was there to take control of it. He quickly spotted a streaking Porche Alexander and moved the ball ahead to her. Porche lived up to her name and proved to be much to fast for the defense to recover. Seconds later the ball was in the net and ASMV had a 1-0 lead.

The Sea Dragons settled back into their physical, defensive style and controlled the pace of the match. Then in the 52nd minute, keeper Shaun Conarky made a brilliant save on the only Becquelerian shot that was worth anything. Quickly he moved the ball to Evan Evans at midfield and the ASMV attack was on again. Evans found Pablo Iglesias on the left side and moved the ball ahead to him. But the defense moved in quickly. Iglesias mad a quick pass back to Kirelenko who spotted Evans as he drifted into the middle of the box. The quick pass had Evans in beautiful position to score. The shot found the keeper’s knee instead and arced into the air. A battle for position saw Iglesias put an excellent header into the net. Score now in favor of ASMV 2-0.

That is all the Sea Dragons would need as the defense proved too much for the opposition to get past. The victory moved ASMV back into 3rd position in Group 11 - just one point ahead of Giant Zucchini, Pastorville, and the surprising side from Green Wombat. MD6 will see ASMV travel to Georgeonia. This should be an easy 3 points for the Sea Dragons, but we all remember what happened in Pudu.
Dorian and Sonya
09-03-2006, 03:11
Unicorns Pull Shock Upset of the Day

Queen Sonya looked out over the stadium packed full of rabid Vilitan fans awaiting what they were sure was to be a complete rout of the upstart Unicorns. In fact, the Queen had much the same thoughts on the upcoming match. Her first trip beyond her own borders in ten years had been wonderful thus far. The sights and sounds of this foreign nation had been wonderful to see. And the girls had responded well to her arrival for this match - the gifts from home had really raised their spirits and put their focus back on the match at hand. Now all she could hope for was a good showing. To beat Vilita in their home seemed much the impossible task.

The match started much as was to be expected. Vilita took control and pressed forward on the attack. A quick shot was easily turned away by Unicorn keeper Alassea Sáralondë. A moment later and Vilita was back on the attack and another shot was saved by Sáralondë. This trend would continue throughout the entire first half of the match with the Unicorn keeper making seven brilliant saves before the half. Unicorn players never made any form of attacking threat as Vilita looked to wear down the newcomers.

The second half saw much more of the same thing, with Vilita mounting attack after attack, only to be denied scores time and time again. And every time the Unicorns tried to move the ball downfield Vilita was there to neatly turn them back. By the 70th minute, Sáralondë was completely worn out after making her 13th save of the match. In came 16 year old keeper Alassea Culnámo. Immediately the Vilitan assault resumed but Culnámo proved to be as brilliant in the net as Sáralondë had been.

As everyone began to look for the draw that seemed to be coming, CB Nessa Elendil neatly stole the ball from the Vilitan attacker in the box and moved the pass ahead to CM Uruviel Telemnar in the 84th minute. A nifty move saw the Unicorns move onto the Vilitan end of the field. It must have shocked the Vilitans for only one defender was back to face Telemnar and RF Merenwen Súrion. Excellent footwork beat the lone Vilitan defender and a quick pass to Súrion found the young forward alone against the Vilitan keeper.

Shocked and a bit surprised, Súrion stumbled and almost fell as she put everything she had into the shot attempt. The Vilitan keeper made a brilliant break on the ball but found himself inches short of stopping the shot. The entire arena went quiet as the Unicorns took a late 1-0 lead. That score seemed to take the soul out of the Vilitans and inspire the Unicorn defense. No serious threat was made as the Unicorns held on for the win.

Queen Sonya was stunned. Had she really just witnessed the impossible? Yes was the resounding answer. She would have to travel with the squad more often.

Next up for the Unicorns - A return home to face Elrich. With both sides tied for 3rd in the group with 7 points, the Unicorns would surely love to take advantage of another miracle.
Giant Zucchini
09-03-2006, 03:40
Yet Another Own Goal!
Episode 4: The Green Show

Well…guess what…Mr. Green Couch Man is back on his couch! He’s asleep at the moment.

“…so if you look at Albom, he’s marking Graves, putting him offside as well as blocking any pass from Daniels. That’s good defensive play. However, you can see Pincher running down the flank here, Ulvaeus therefore has to cover him, leaving Wilcox in the clear here. Now, you look at the positions of the defenders here, if Wilcox takes a touch here, Albom and Ulvaeus can close him down and block any shot or pass except backwards, but Wilcox takes the shot first time, and what a sweetly struck shot it is into the bottom corner.”

“And Green wombat’s second?”

“That’s more straightforward. No one picks up LeRoux outside the box, so when the corner is played to him he has all the time in the world to time the volley perfectly and the result was unstoppable.”

“And all that in the first 10 minutes. But then barely 4 minutes into the restart Boyer started a revival for the Zucchinis.”

“Yes, but it was de Silva who did all the hard work here. That was a good touch to bring the ball over the sliding challenge from Crunch, and you can see here the defenders are too busy marking Rilke, Nuvolari, and Pérez to notice Boyer sneaking into the box, and from that position Boyer doesn’t miss.”

“Tell me, what did Green wombat do wrong for the second goal?”

“Simple, they don’t get it out of the box. You leave the ball bouncing in the danger area like that at this level you will get punished, which is exactly what Nuvolari did.”

“That was the equalizer too. And, barely 3 minutes later, Pérez gave the Zucchinis the lead.”

“Yes, but one of the easiest goals he’ll ever score at this level. Rilke pulled the trigger and Johnson did well to get a hand to that, but unfortunately for him the ball bounced right in front of Pérez and that’s the lead for the Zucchinis.”

“And then de Silva finished off the scoring at the end of the first half.”

“Yes indeed. Here you can see what de Silva is all about. He runs right at Crunch here and totally catches him off balance right there when he changes the direction of the ball. That touch there is vital. It threw Crunch off and puts the ball on de Silva’s left foot. His weaker foot by the way. Not that you could tell by the resulting shot. What a rocket into the near bottom corner. You see Johnson’s positioning here is good, but he only reacts after the ball hits the back of the net.”

“Right, and that was really an amazing first half. What happened in the second half?”

“Well, you see, the…”


To be continued…


Giant Zucchini’s Department of Number Crunching and Data Spewing presents:

Match stats:

Giant Zucchini – 4
Boyer (14), Nuvolari (29), Pérez (32), de Silva (39)

Green wombat - 2
SSgt. Wilcox (7), CMSgt. LeRoux(10)


Giant Zucchini stats:

Top Goalscorers:
Armand Boyer – 3
Dino Nuvolari – 2
Gottlieb Poulsen – 1
Pablo Pérez – 1
Vicente de Silva - 1

Yellow Cards:

Red Cards:
[NS]Bazalonia
09-03-2006, 03:53
"Caine's job up for grabs?" by Nev Gould

With another loss and the Bazalopes 2 points behind an unranked team. Speculation of new coaches for the Bazalopes are running rampant. "This is humiliating!" says one sports fan. Another says "With the recent demise of Soccer World I moan for soccer in this country." Whatever is the cause of our problems, no one knows but some theoretical physicists have laid the cause directly at the feet of none other than quantum mechanics. "At the scale of the extremely minature weird things happen frequently." says Gordon Freeman from a secret research facilitity somewhere. "These things seem to ad up in the case of the Bazalopes to extreme losses and the occasional draw." However many few subscribe to this theory and they put the blame on the coaching team.

Calls for the sacking of Caine Hawdon, Malcolm Frost and Jayne Heart are growing in supportr recently. James Gains president of the BFSA has declined to comment on whether or not he will sack the coaches or whether or not he is even thinking about it. But with the imminent release of the Bazalopes new kit, maybe some change in the coaches will do some good as well.

........................

BFP, Net Crimes Building

"Sir, we are having trouble finding any real information about Lino, all the details that we can find are faked. Though they where faked quite well." (Stan)

"So we've got no-where. Any other leads?" (Luke)

"Well.. Actually... only a few hackers have the skill to do this good job on faking credentials like this. We should be able to determine who did it, and then manage to get information on how and who." (Stan)

"Okay ... good job. Report back when you've got a name." (Luke)
The Kazoo Peoples
09-03-2006, 03:57
It was clearly evident that the Kazoos were back in the swing of things, as they easily defeated Risa-Aramour 2-0 at Kazoo Kola Stadium earlier today.

"Well, we have our star goalkeeper, we have our fan support, we have tied our best winning streak, I'd say that's pretty good," commented Head Coach Manni Aka after the win. "[Goalkeeper] Jim Johnson is apparently at full health once again, and I am pleased to have a shutout win."

As you recall, the combination of a hernia and stomach flu put Johnson out of commission for the last game of the Draggonni Inviyatii, as well as the first three games in the campaign of World Cup 27. But ever since Johnson returned on Matchday 4, the Kazoos have been winning ever since.

"What... is... this feeling?" pondered midfielder Mohr Ganfreeman, in his unique voice.

"It's the joy of winning!" exclaimed Chadd Johnson.

And now, the match summary:

The first half really didn't have much of anything, besides the constant flow of the ball from one side of the pitch to the other. No miraculous saves, as there were only 7 between both teams, and even of those 7, only 4 were on target. There were no scuffles, unfair challenges, or any poor officiating.

"Yawn," said one fan, standing up and leaving the stadium.

But after halftime, tensions flared, and the match became interesting. There were 32 shots between both teams (20 for the Kazoos, 12 for Risa-Aramour), and of those, 27 were on target (16 for the Kazoos, 11 for Risa-Aramour). Jim Johnson made excellent stops, while the Kazoos skillfully shot for two goals against the Risa-Aramour goalkeeper. The first goal was scored by Mark Perknowleski, on a breakaway tactic similar to the one used against our previous match against The Weegies, but instead of dumping the ball off to either Chadd Johnson or Lampshade, Perknowleski took advantage of the stunned goalkeeper and shot it in at minute 67. The second goal came off of a corner kick, as the Risa-Aramour goalkeeper tipped the ball as it went out. Cort Izzone took the corner at minute 77, and used his bionic knee to his advantage, spinning the ball so that it landed just inches in front of Rudy Johnson, who plopped it into the goal for the score, narrowly avoiding the diving goalkeeper. The second goal all but sealed the match for the Kazoos, as they took home a win 2-0.

Summarizing the play from Group 2:

Total n Utter Insanity 3-0 The New Chakovnia
Bettia 4-2 Algal states
The Kazoo Peoples 2-0 Risa-Aramour
Nanakaland 2-0 Tynelia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Total n Utter Insanity 4 4 0 0 11 0 11 12
2 Bettia 4 4 0 0 14 4 10 12
3 Algal states 5 3 0 2 10 9 1 9
4 Nanakaland 4 3 0 1 7 6 1 9
5 The Kazoo Peoples 4 2 0 2 5 6 -1 6
6 Tynelia 5 1 1 3 2 5 -3 4
7 Risa-Aramour 5 1 1 3 2 8 -6 4
8 The Weegies 4 1 0 3 4 7 -3 3
9 The New Chakovnia 5 0 0 5 4 14 -10 0

Total n Utter Insanity and Bettia continue their winning ways, each holding a slim advantage based on goal difference. Algal states, through their second straight loss, fall to third, only edging Nanakaland by total goals scored. The Kazoos have climbed their way into fifth after their second consecutive win. Tynelia and Risa-Aramour were both dealt losses today, and stay around sixth and seventh places, Tynelia the advantage on Risa-Aramour on goal difference. The Weegies have disappointed many during this round of the World Cup, slipping to eighth place due to their off day. The New Chakovnia is still winless at 0-0-5.

PROGRESS IN WORLD CUP 27 (2-0-3):
MD1: loss to Algal states 3-1, home
MD2: loss to Total n Utter Insanity 2-0, home
MD3: loss to Milchama (friendly) 4-2, home
MD4: win over The Weegies 2-1, away
MD5: win over Risa-Aramour 2-0, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: Lowland Clans, TBD (friendly)
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away

Our next three matches are away, but one is against the worst team in the group (The New Chakovnia). We should be ashamed if we lose this one. Then it's off to probably undefeated Bettia, and then to mediocre Nanakaland. We finish off our first nine games with a home match against Tynelia, who currently sits in sixth place.

---
¿ ...KAZOOS IN CYBERSPACE...?

It only gets weirder, folks...

The Bazalonia Federal Police released a statement earlier today about the condition of the case of apparent net-hacking of EG Inc.'s servers...:


The investigation is continuing. We cannot say much about what we have learnt about the cause of the catastrophic failure of Soccer World. However we do have a number of leads....

There has been speculation on who (or what) caused the catastrophic meltdown of EG Inc.'s infrastructure. Some claim that a bug in the Soccer World Online Cup was activated when someone tried to print out results of the Cup. This, however, is only speculation, and only reflects what the "word on the street" is. We will keep you posted with updates as soon as we receive them.
Sarzonia
09-03-2006, 04:28
Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars put down 'Revived Constantinople'

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Staff Writer

8 March 2006 -- At the beginning of World Cup XXVII qualifying, many observers dubbed Group 4 the Group of Death with fourth ranked Sarzonia leading a procession of teams including Krytenia, Lethislavania, Hypocria and Legalese. So far, the group's not living up to the billing for the Stars. Sarzonia throttled the lowest-ranked side in the group, winning the match 6-0 in front of 43,126 at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock.

Sarzonia (4-0-0) are tied with Group 12 leaders Squornshelous for the second highest goal total in this World Cup (17) with only Group 7 standard bearers Liverpool England's 18 goals surpassing the Stars' total. Sarzonia's plus-15 goal differential is tied with Liverpool England for the best among the 108 teams fighting for the finals.

"Those stats don't mean much to us right now," said Coach Dave Wilson. "We're playing well right now but we still haven't faced [Krytenia] or Lethislavania yet. We've still go that match against the Aces and it's going to tell us a lot more about where we are as a football team."

The Stars spent much of their time getting their depth players a look against a team that few expected would give them much of a hassle, but Wilson noted that Revived Constantinople (2-0-3) were a .500 team coming into the match. The 6-0 shellacking dropped Revived Constantinople's goal difference to minus-seven. Goalkeeper Aaron Lee earned his first cap and his first-ever clean sheet but only had to make one save.

"They haven't been playing poorly at all," forward Brian Williams (one goal, four assists) said. "They've been holding their own and they just had a bad day. We don't think they're 6-0 bad, that's for sure."

The Stars dispelled notions of a letdown before their critical away match in Everton City by pouring five goals down the throats of Revived Constantinople after just 30 minutes expired on the match clock. Sarzonia were just inches away from tying a national team record with six goals in the first half, but defender Mike Cole's bid just nicked the top of the goalpost.

Wilson said the full starting 11 would return for the Stars against Krytenia and the team expected "all hell to break loose," against it for several reasons. The only senior team victory for Krytenia against the Stars came back when the Stars were a debutant team competing in the first-ever AOCAF tournament. Ever since, the Stars have all but owned the Aces, including a 3-1 win in the third placed game of that tournament.

"It's counterproductive to talk about streaks like that," forward and team captain Kevin Wilson said. "That's just going to motivate those lads more. We have to make sure we match their intensity and we come away from that match having given our best effort for 90 minutes.

"We have to go in expecting to win and be prepared for a back alley brawl," he said. "They're not going to just let us waltz in and take away the three points without putting everything they've got into the match. If we come out of there with the three points, they'll be no doubt that we've earned it."

SCORING
SARZONIA K. Wilson 3, B. Williams 8, Bridger 10, Salivani 15, Spencer 29, West 81.
REVIVED CONSTANTINOPLE None.
Atheistic Right
09-03-2006, 04:33
"Oh, look at the BFP running around, in their vain attempts to try and find out what happened... It's laughable." Lion spoke to himself as he read the BFP, Net Crimes division press release. It had worked Bazalonia was in chaos over what happened. He had created a computer security scare people where buying up firewalls, anti-virus.. some people where even disconnecting themselves from the internet.

There that was his fun for the year now it was back to get on with Business..

The report on the score was 2-all against Druida. He read the detailed report, while there was still many areas to improve upon a draw against Druida was never the less a draw against Druida.

........

The Logo for ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around and it's theme music came on the air once again

The darkened studio lightened to once again see Charles and Darwin

"Welcome to ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around. I'm Charles."
- Charles

"And I'm Darwin. Welcome to the Coverage of Matchday number 5 of the World Cup. So we are up against Druida, What do you think of them Charles?" - Darwin

"Well... I'm glad to say that Druida are one of the more sane nations in the World cup as well Swilatia in Group 6." - Charles

"Meaning that they are atheists as well?" - Darwin

"Yes, though not all of there citizens have realised the folly of religion. But I suppose we can forgive a minority view like that." Charles

"That's true, just because some of their nation have not let go does not mean that most of them have not." - Darwin

"My point Exactly, Let's go on to the actual match now. I have to say in this match I have not seen the Acheopteri perform this well... ever." - Charles

"A 2-all draw is performing well?" - Darwin

"Yes, particularily against a team that is 150 ranks above us in the WCC rankings. Let's have a look at the match. This is the first Acrheopteri goal in the 53rd minute." - Charles

Snake has the ball and is magnificiently handling the ball, he seems to have perfect ball control skills. He ducks and weaves through the Druidan defence and passes it onto Ant.. He's a hard worker and a team player, very unique in this team of individuals. Though for once he spots an opening. He shoots at the goal and the keeper was caught napping reacted far too late and allowed the ball through the plane and into the back of the net.

"The last goal was a bit contraversial after a Druidian player fell after challenging Scorpion. Let's have a look at it now..." - Darwin

And he's down, the Druidian player that attempted to challenge Scorpion has fallen down... Cries of foul are coming from the Druidian players as they rush the Referee. The referee is denying the foul and saying that players should get back. The druidian players are still challenging the referee. Scorpion sees his opportunity and takes a shot at the goal, the goalie sees it and is prepared but can't quite stop the ball as the ball goes too far away from him. Druidian players are shocked as Scorpion celebrates and the referee whistle blows, accepting the goal.

"That was in the 74th minute... the Druidian goals where both in the first half. But unfortunately that is where we are going to have to leave it for now. I'm Charles." - Charles

"And I am Darwin, Remember ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around. Good night"
Milchama
09-03-2006, 04:34
Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama lose to Ox people

That's right another Milchamian loss. We don't even feel the need to report that in depth on it. We're not going to qualify, I mean why even write about the team if we're just going to lose all the time. We will now be focusing our sports energies on more important topics like the policy debate championships. Who will win New Sparta AC or Alexandria TL? We will find out soon. For now its suffice to say this we'll give you a coach quote and the final score. Coach Jamie Smith said, "This was an embarrassment and disgrace for Milchamian football. I am ashamed to be the coach today and I sincerely apologize to all our fans on this miserable showing. Tommorow I promise to do better or else I will quit at the end of this world cup."
Final Score:
Milchama 2 (Floren 23, 90)
Qasox 4 (A. Mason 12, A. Mason 34, Gretzky 53, 71)
Chicanada
09-03-2006, 04:49
Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Home to Kodiak and Snow Leopard News

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Press, Citizen Outrage After Chicanada Finds New Ways To Get Yet Another 5th Place Finish

Eastentown - We'd report about Risa-Aramour, but let's just pretend they didn't get blown out at home.

Instead, let us cover the Disaster of Kinsington, as Yerevan Malli's brilliant plan finally disintergrated and sealed the Kodiaks' fate: another 5th place finish. We're stating it right now. Chicanada will never make a Finals again, and will forever settle for 5th in a group so long as the CFA and the CSF allow the team to continue to compete.

Sure, the Kodiaks are in 5th after four games, but lets not even pretend to hope the team can recover from an insanely embarassing 1-0 loss to unknown, unherald but now in the playoff-slot-bound Kelse tonight in Kinsington. And the goal? Came from a Kodiak player.

Yes yes, "off with her head" was heard everywhere as Olani Pjan made the biggest mistake in Kodiak history, deflecting a Kelse attack into the goal in the 74th minute to send Kelse off with the 3 points that the CFA, the National Squad and the population of Chicanada expected the home side to come up with. Olani was justifiably unavailable for comment as the team, pelted with beer and soda and reportedly chairs from the stands, headed out quickly from the Embassy City towards Acadia to catch a flight to Berner Street for their next match.

Considering the excellent play the Kodiaks had against Commerce Heights, maybe the press should have expected that the team would discover new ways to implode. Remember the seven game loosing streak? Remember the random loss to unknown Hoolaballoah? Remember the countless ties the team managed last season against teams well below the squad in rank? And yet, the own goal was more than enough to set the nation off in a pissed-off panic.

Indeed, the nation is not standing for it as riots broke out throughout Kinsington as well as Eastentown, Cana and Southampton. The cities, along with the whole of the nation, saw hundreds arested for drunken disordely conduct as well as destruction of property. New Governess Palace had to be closed due to all the damage done to the seats and the walkways while the CFA offices in E-Town had to be locked down due to rioters smashing windows on the complex. The Capital's Astur District - a very footy-mad area - found armed guards closing the central area from the rest of the city after reports said groups were heading to TroutCo Field, where the game was shown, to wreck havoc. Eighty-four people were arrested in riots outside the Carthage Coastal Homegrounds, and another sixteen were arrested in an apparent arsonist attempt near Southamton City Grounds.

The nation, safe to say, is mad.

Many people chanted the same thing: We've had enough of mediocrity. And they aren't the only ones. The CFA is expected to yank the club out of all future tournaments - no more CoHs, no more friendlies, even pulled out of the Ylompics and Olympics (but the CFA wasn't sending the guys to play that anyways) unless a quick and sustained turnaround occurs - and one that gets them in the Finals. Anything short, even a play-off berth, could see the nation pull out of international competition as the crap the team continues to come up with so they can lose continues to rise and rise. Of course, this means finding a way to win over everyone and no one has any expectations to see that one happening.

Maybe Kinsington, having just recovered from hooligan-backed riots against Milchama, can recover. The city is expected to be on a 1800 curfew due to fears of more riots, since no one expects the team to get more than a tie against bottom-feeder Berner Street tommorow on the road. In addition, Embassy Row is to be closed for a week in order to prevent possible rioting in the district. Flights to Kinsington Interregional Airport will be diverted to Livingston Municipal Airport and the Cape International Airport in Mogada.

For those concerned about Kelse, they escaped New Governess Palace unharmed and made it to Interregional before the closure. The CFA has no plans of changing stadia at the time, but many expect them to move the Nedalia game out of Cana, possibly to Strikers Fieldhouse in Star Point or to County Grounds in Atens. They will, however, increase security to prevent stadia damage that wrecked New Governess Palace, as well as guarantee security to arriving opponents.

Kodiak National Side Schedule (like it matters, since clearly the team is set for another 5th place finish. Thanks scorinator!):
MD01: W 1-0 v Pedriana (@ Moutainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD02: W 1-0 @ Ocmeoub
MD03: L 1-0 @ Commerce Heights
MD04: off day - plans for training in Kinsington
MD05: L 1-0 v Kelse (@ New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD06: @ Berner Street
MD07: @ Audioslavia
MD08: v Nedalia (@ Depot Centre, Cana)
MD09: v Arrida (@ Heartland Stadium, Goedi)
MD10: @ Pedriana
MD11: v Ocmeoub (@ BFC Pavillion, Bishop County)
MD12: v Commerce Heights (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD13: off day - training in Atens
MD14: @ Kelse
MD15: v Berner Street (@ Coastal Stadium, New Glasgow)
MD16: v Audioslavia (@ Southampton National Square)
MD17: @ Nedalia
MD18: @ Arrida
Spaam
09-03-2006, 04:52
Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


Good Defense Enough This Time

It was a battle of the defensive teams in Artanis National Football Stadium
last night, with the Waffles going up against the Hawks in a must-win game
for both teams. Both teams had lost their last game to Oliverry; Spaam
managing to limit the attacking giants to one goal, but Haraki unfortunately
conceding three. It was no doubt going to be a low scoring close game, but
the question was who was going to come out on top. The bookmakers had
Spaam at L2.50 and Haraki at L2.90, with a draw at L1.85, so there was not
much in it at all.

The first half produced some careful yet exciting football, with both teams
having few chances, thanks to the high quality of the defenses, but when
the chances came, they were close. Ivey, Goss, and Crawse all came close
for the Waffles, while Sharp and Zendar, a couple of times, for the Hawks.
The game was still nil all at the half way mark, both teams seemed full of
energy, promising a more hectic second half.

Where the first half was a battle of the defense, the second was a battle of
the offense, with both teams going all the way in trying to gain the upper
hand. Haraki couldn't make any headway though, due to the brilliance of the
28 year old keeper, Morwetha Jelbert, who has only conceded one goal in 4
games (the other one being a tragic 'own' goal) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10535099). Spaam couldn't convert the
chances either, until the fiery number six Cleder Cawrse for the Waffles, and
the equally fierce Sandy Thorpe for the Hawks clashed in the Haraki defense.

Thorpe was judged to have tripped Cawrse, and was given a red card, while
Cawrse got a penalty kick against a reduced Haraki side. He didn't disappoint
either, sending it just past Hawks keeper Mark Stone. Result: one nil to
Spaam in the 81st minute. The Waffles tried to capitalise on the 10 person
Hawks team, but they were stubborn as, and in the end, the damage was
done. Spaam came out ahead of their most exciting game in the qualification.

Coach Gee didn't say much for the Waffles, but Assistant Coach Tamsyn
Pengelley summed it up: "In the end, we didn't win on our own merit, but on
the mistake of our opponents. Not taking anything away from Cleder
[Cawrse], but sometimes the winner of a game is the team that makes the
least mistakes."

Spaam 1:0 Haraki
(6 Cawrse 81)

Photo Opportunities

26 year old number six Cleder Cawrse after his match winning goal (top).

http://www.canadasoccer.com/images/media/mwc_celebration.jpg

continued on page 2...
Qazox
09-03-2006, 06:08
QAZOX CITY HERALD

Qazox has scored its first upset of the qualifing rounds beating Milchama 4-2 earlier this evening. The Milchaman coach has this to say after the unxepected loss:
Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer
Coach Jamie Smith said, "This was an embarrassment and disgrace for Milchamian football. I am ashamed to be the coach today and I sincerely apologize to all our fans on this miserable showing. Tommorow I promise to do better or else I will quit at the end of this world cup."

Qazox started the game in attack mode and Milchama never got its defence ready as Andrew Mason scored in the 12th minute after brilliantly faking out the defenders and blasting a shot past the keep. Milchama, seeming angered after giving up an early goal worked the Black Oxen's side of the field running them ragged with long passes and pass-backs until Floren scored off a set play just inside 15 yards. Anthony Mason countered 11 minutes later off a corner and Qazox re-took the lead 2-1. The rest of the 1st half saw both teams pressing and counter-attacking, with niether side getting a decent shot.
In the second half both side continued their back and forth attack until Maria Gretsky slipped by the last defender on a long lob pass from Anthony Mason, and scored putting the Black Oxen up 3-1. Milchama renewed it pressing attack, but Qazox held and in the 71st minute, Maria Gretsky scored her 2nd goal of the match after Milchama misplayed a free-kick in thier penalty area. Qazox then sat back with a 3 goal lead, only to see Floren score just before the final whistle. Final Score 4-2 Qazox.

Qazox will came back home tommorrow for a match vs. Tarah Burung at SaxerDome, Saxervilla. An expected crowd of 85,000 will be bringing their ox-bells. Also announced there will be an exhibhition match on Day 7, Qazox' bye date. The Black Oxen will take on defending QFL Champion Graverville in Qazox City, with the proceeds to go to HolyOx Charities, a charitable organization giving meals, clothes and jobs to Homeless persons.

Match Day 5 Results and Standings:
GROUP THREE
Eauz 4-0 Valertinette
Vilita 0-1 Dorian and Sonya
Milchama 2-4 Qazox
Elrich 1-1 Hiiraan



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Eauz 4 4 0 0 13 0 13 12
2 Vilita 4 3 0 1 9 2 7 9
3 Elrich 4 2 1 1 6 5 1 7
4 Dorian and Sonya 5 2 1 2 5 7 -2 7
5 Qazox 5 2 0 3 6 7 -1 6
6 Hiiraan 5 1 2 2 2 4 -2 5
7 Milchama 4 1 1 2 6 11 -5 4
8 Valertinette 5 1 1 3 2 8 -6 4
9 Tanah Burung 4 1 0 3 4 9 -5 3

Qazox' Qualifing Schedule:
Match Day One--@ Elrich LOST 0-3
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran LOST 0-1 at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Attendence: 17,000
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya WON 2-0 at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Attendence: 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendence: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama WON 4-2
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Seven--BYE
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Squornshelous
09-03-2006, 06:38
Sans Adriano

Squornshelous tramples over their latest opponent
The Pschychoes were not looking for a particularly hard fought match in this fifth matchday of World Cup 27 qualifying, and they certainly didn't find one. The already hot Squornshelan attack went on a field day, scoring five goals against the hapless Sanadrianese, Mostafa Ogbadan, who has been on fire, and Vasili Petrov each scored two from their striker positions, and the other goal went to midfielder Goran Syvatov. The big surprise in this match was the superb play of the somewhat maligned Squornshelan defense. The midfield did an excellent job of controlling the ball and challenging and containing the Sanadrianese forwards, and managed to break up most attacks before they reached the defenders. With less work to do, the Pschychoes' three defensemen were able to stay more fresh, and were better albe to protect keeper Ronald Beeman, who was given the start despite a shaky performance last matchday. As Manager McCormack said, "I think it was important to show that we still had confidence in Ron, and that one iffy match wasn't going to get him benched, and he came through for us."

Final Score:
Squornshelous 5-0 San Adriano



Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws byes
MD01: bye
MD02: The Islands of Qutar 1-3 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 5-1 The Macabees
MD04: Jon Parkin 4-4 Squornshelous
MD05: Squornshelous 5-0 San Adriano
MD06: Schiavonia v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v Kericia
MD08: Apologetic Kittens v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Spaamanian Plijous
MD10: bye
MD11: Squornshelous v The Islands of Qutar
MD12: The Macabees v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Jon Parkin
MD14: San Adriano v Squornshelous
MD15: Squornshelous v Schiavonia
MD16: Kericia v Squornshelous
MD17: Squornshelous v Apologetic Kittens
MD18: Spaamanian Plijous v Squornshelous
Green wombat
09-03-2006, 06:40
GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS

Today's match vs. Green Zucchini started as good at it gets for Green Wombat, but then they crash. the fast and furious start started when SSgt. Wilcox scored off a header in the 7th minute and not even 3 minutes later, CMSgt. LeRoux scored to make it 2-0 Wombats. But the two goal lead was gone with the wind as Boyer went through the rocky wombat defense and made it 2-1. Life is beautiful for Nuvolari because in the 29th minute he tied the match 2-2. In the 32nd minute, million dollar baby Pérez scored and the Wombat lead was gone in sixty seconds. In the 39th minute de Silva scored to make it 4-2 and not even Patton himself could help Green wombat.The match turned into a fight club as Green wombat goalie P1C Johnson was pulled and argued with Admiral Ford.

In the second half though, CpL Holmes played like a man on fire and stonewalled the Zucchinis attacks blocking all 8 shots he faced. After the match P1C Johnson was kicked off the team and head Coach Vice Admiral Herny Ford choose to replace him with 'Saving' Pvt. Ryan.

the wombats will hopfully bounce back from this loss tommorrow when the host Pastorville at 7pm in Estadio Hexagona.

(ooc-I counted 13 movie titles in this post try to find them all, rats!!!)
OOC- if any one can find all 13 of them, they should get an extra RP Bonus... if the Hosts choose to do so.
Squornshelous
09-03-2006, 06:47
GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS

Today's match vs. Green Zucchini started as good at it gets for Green Wombat, but then they crash. the fast and furious start started when SSgt. Wilcox scored off a header in the 7th minute and not even 3 minutes later, CMSgt. LeRoux scored to make it 2-0 Wombats. But the two goal lead was gone with the wind as Boyer went through the rocky wombat defense and made it 2-1. Life is beautiful for Nuvolari because in the 29th minute he tied the match 2-2. In the 32nd minute, million dollar baby Pérez scored and the Wombat lead was gone in sixty seconds. In the 39th minute de Silva scored to make it 4-2 and not even Patton himself could help Green wombat.The match turned into a fight club as Green wombat goalie P1C Johnson was pulled and argued with Admiral Ford.

In the second half though, CpL Holmes played like a man on fire and stonewalled the Zucchinis attacks blocking all 8 shots he faced. After the match P1C Johnson was kicked off the team and head Coach Vice Admiral Herny Ford choose to replace him with 'Saving' Pvt. Ryan.

the wombats will hopfully bounce back from this loss tommorrow when the host Pastorville at 7pm in Estadio Hexagona.

(ooc-I counted 13 movie titles in this post try to find them all, rats!!!)
OOC- if any one can find all 13 of them, they should get an extra RP Bonus... if the Hosts choose to do so.

I found 12
[NS]Bazalonia
09-03-2006, 07:08
OOC: Crash is also another movie. That's the thirteenth

Edit" Hmmm... that's 14 mbat, but then they crash. the fast and furious
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
09-03-2006, 07:10
the wombats will hopfully bounce back from this loss tommorrow when the host Pastorville at 7pm in Estadio Hexagona.

(ooc-I counted 13 movie titles in this post try to find them all, rats!!!)
OOC- if any one can find all 13 of them, they should get an extra RP Bonus... if the Hosts choose to do so.[/QUOTE]


You forgot this one. I got all 13 :p


Edit: I had Crash but missed Patton. That makes 14
Squornshelous
09-03-2006, 07:11
Bazalonia']Crash is also another movie. That's the thirteenth

*smacks forehead*

I'm an idiot.
[NS]Bazalonia
09-03-2006, 07:20
*smacks forehead*

I'm an idiot.
OOC:
What? I didn't say anything :p
Spaam
09-03-2006, 07:23
Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


The Group Of Death

Starblaydia demolished Shing-Shang in a seven goal home-town rort last
night, giving the rest of a group a wake-up call. Oliverry hosted Priggdom
and scored six goals themselves, but conceded one, only their second of
qualifying. Wentland hosted Obsidianus and looked like they could be upset
by the wooden-spoon contenders, but managed to come through 3-2,
completing a clean sweep by the home teams. East Lithuania had a bye.
There were a massive 20 goals scored in Matchday 5 by Group 8, the most
this qualifying - Group 8 also had the least (5 in Matchday 3).


Starblaydia 7:0 Shing-Shang
Oliverry 6:1 Priggdom
Wentland 3:2 Obsidianus


Oliverry continues to dominate the top of the table with a flawless
performance, and an average of four goals per game. Starblaydia is now
outright second, and still undefeated, plus has only one goal against them.
Third seed Wentland moves up to third position, while fourth seed Spaam
moves up to fourth, equal on points to fifth though light-years ahead on goal
difference and points per game. The wooden-spoon looks like a battle
between Shing-Shang and Obsidianus, with the only reason Shing-Shang are
not last thanks to Spaam's own goal.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts PPG
1 Oliverry 4 4 0 0 16 2 14 12 3.0
2 Starblaydia 4 3 1 0 15 1 14 10 2.5
3 Wentland 4 3 0 1 9 8 1 9 2.3
4 Spaam 4 2 1 1 6 2 4 7 1.8
5 Priggdom 5 2 1 2 8 13 -5 7 1.4
6 East Lithuania 4 1 2 1 6 5 1 5 1.3
7 Haraki 5 2 0 3 2 6 -4 6 1.2
8 Shing-Shang 5 0 1 4 2 16 -14 1 0.2
9 Obsidianus 5 0 0 5 3 14 -11 0 0.0

Next Week

The most anticipated match of qualifying is next week, with Oliverry hosting
Starblaydia. Though either team could win, it should be a high scoring
match. Wentland flies to Shing-Shang, and are expecting a big win against
the unranked minnows. The coach will be training the players against own
goals... Priggdom is hosting Spaam, who will be trying their hardest to not
lose against the giant-killers. The final match of the round will be Obsidianus
hosting East Lithuania, with an away win predicted. Haraki have the bye.

Statistics

Goal Scorers

No Name G P
1 Ewa Ivey 2 4
17 Mylor Goss 2 4
6 Cleder Cawrse 1 3
4 Crewenna Roskelly 1 4
7 Colan Trebilcock -1 3

History

1 Spaam 4:1 Obsidianus W
2 Shing-Shang 1:1 Spaam D
3 Oliverry 1:0 Spaam L
4 BYE
5 Spaam 1:0 Haraki W
6 Priggdom ?:? Spaam ?
Wentland
09-03-2006, 07:35
Wentland Sentinel

Obstinate Obsidianus Obstruct Obvious Obliteration

Well, they wouldn’t give up, would they? Just as it looked as if Wentland was cruising to a mundane victory the Amber and Obsidians kept coming back and in the end made it a nervy final few minutes. However, a win is a win and the Swifts sit in third place in Group Eight.

The Crowhurst crowd certainly appreciated the fare put before them. Partly because young Tommy Barnes scored his first home goal for the Swifts, a free-kick being put low into the area by Kent and Barnes diverted the fizzing ball past the Obsidianus keeper in the 18th minute. Treves continued his scoring run by making it two ten minutes later, first to react after a corner where Jenkins’ header came off the underside of the bar.

But Wentland sat back on their laurels and some confusion in the centre-back triple meant no-one dealt satisfactorily with a long ball from Itseperhe. Wright stuck out a helpless foot and Seitsemästoista reacted with aplomb to round Derrington. 2-1, right on half-time.

Wentland made their next changes on the hour, just having restored the two-goal cushion, a Kent Special totally bamboozling Saari. Wright and Okey came off to be replaced by the Fletchers and Wentland went back to a 4-4-2. Quod habemus, tenemus. And for a while it looked as if the game would fizzle out desultorily – or it would have done had Jenkins not carelessly pulled Hirviirakastaja’s shirt at a corner with six minutes to go. Penalty, and although Derrington got a hand to it, Televaisuudesta’s power was too much and it was 3-2 with a revitalized Obsidianus pushing forward in search of their first World Cup point.

Alas for them, it was not to be, Derrington pulling off a fine save from Lounispoika in the last minute and the Crowhurst fans finished off by singing “third in the group, and havin’ a laugh”.

***
It was nearly very unfunny…a draw against the bottom team would have been disastrous. As it was, any concerns about not being able to build up the goal difference were assuaged by looking at the other fixtures:

Starblaydia 7-0 Shing-Shang
Oliverry 6-1 Priggdom
Spaam 1-0 Haraki

The Spaam game was always going to be a defensive battle, but the Shing-Shang defence had disintegrated in the face of the Starblaydi attack and Oliverry continued their almost casual scoring run. Averaging 4 goals per match, the Swifts could not hope to come close to their goal difference. Short of beating them 6-0, which was not looking that likely.

However, Shing-Shang next. How would they react to such a dismantling? Back to their more assured defence? Totally demoralized? We await with bated breath…
Georgeonia
09-03-2006, 10:16
GROUP ELEVEN
Tadjikistan 1-1 Emporer Pudu
Lovisa 3-0 Georgeonia
Giant Zucchini 4-2 Green wombat
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 2-0 Becquerelia


Squids soundly beaten by slick Lovisa.

The squids travelled to Lovisa last night to face the group second seeds
in what was always going to be a tough game. The final score of 3-0 was
fair and didn't flatter the hosts, but the squids came away feeling
positive. "Remember Lovisa is by the far the most accomplished team we
have ever played against" said Coach Mad Cap'n Bob after the game. "We
may never have looked like winning, but we played neatly and precicely
and managed to stifle what has been called 'the most deadly attack in this
year's tournament' for long periods of the game. It is also invaluable for
us to play such quality teams at this stage in our team's development, we
are learning a lot with every game and I predict great things for the
future." Tonight the squids are back on home ground after three games away,
playing at the new 17,000 seat stadium in Rousse, the nations second largest
city, and home of the world's most beautiful architecture. Our opponents
will be group fourth seeds Androssa se Mitrin Vega, ranked 58th in the
world, who have looked strong in qualifying so far and are currently
in an impressive third place in group eleven. The squids will need to play
out of their skins in order to win this one, but you never know. This is,
as they say, a funny old game.

Elsewhere last night, the shock of the day was Emperor Pudu's heroic
performance at Tadjikistan, holding the group favourites to a one all draw.
The result lifts Emperor Pudu above the squids on goal difference,
and Georgeonia are now down to eighth place. At the top of the group Louvisa
are now level on points with Tadjikistan, and the two teams meet tonight in
what promises to be an explosive encounter. Giant Zucchini recorded a solid
4-2 win against Green Wombat, leaving both teams in mid table, fourth and
sixth respectively. Georgeonia's next opponents Androssa Se Mitrin Vega made
short work of Becuerelia, and are looking dangerous, whilst the result
leaves Becquerelia propping up the table.

MD01: Away to Giant Zucchini L 3-0
MD02: Home to Pastorville W 1-0
MD03: Away to Green Wombat L 1-0
MD04: Away to Emperor Pudu D 0-0
MD05: Away to Louvisa L 3-0
Apologetic Kittens
09-03-2006, 10:39
Despite the Kittens starting off with three draws the last two matches have been lost and Wilson, the head coach, has been given the boot. In his place now stands Bobby Davis, a pioneer at club level, who is set to revolutionise the national team. We had an exclusive interview.

"So, Mr. Davis, how do you rate the squad that's been handed to you?"

"They're a good bunch of lads, just need the right encouragement. Hopefully I'll be able to give them the kick up the backside, so to speak, that they need."

"Reports suggest you making 'Sweeping changes' to the team, how shall this pan out?"

"The move will be to one of more attacking football. Bringing Roberts forward a little to allow him more space instead of resting behind the dfence. This'll allow the other midfielders to press forward a little more, with the side even at times adopting an almost 4-1-5 formation if the game is going well. But still allowing the flexibility to pull back to a 4-4-2. That's the key, flexibility"

"Well, you'll be judged by your next game, and the Kittens have yet to win. Even teams with lower ranking have sunk the opposition at least once, but not the Kittens. Are you going out to win?"

"We'll always be going out to win, even if the odds say otherwise."
Allied Anime Worlds
09-03-2006, 11:24
[A TV screen prominently displays the letters "SNN"]

"This is the Silver News Network," a male voiceover prouldy announced. "Bringing you the news since the rebirth of the Silver Millenium." The shot cuts to a pretty young woman with brown hair sitting behind a news desk.

"Good evening, I'm Miko Hasegawa," she introduced herself for the thousandth time. "Tonight, we start our coverage with sports. There's still no relief in sight for the luckless Silver Pandas, who lost yet another game, this time to Yafor 2, 1-0."

The shot changes to footage from the game. "Yafor 2 came on strong early in the game, and quickly scored a goal, one of their forwards quickly snaking around defenders Yuki and Mugen to score against the android goalie," Miko said as the events she's describing play out on the TV. The few Federation fans that showed up to the game start booing vigorously, but are mostly drowned out by the Yafor 2 fans.

"Federation fans had some hope later in the same quarter when Zelged Irinar managed to defeat the Yafor 2 midfield and get the ball up to Secretary of Defense Raye Sun. Raye then passed up to Lt. Souske, who found himself hemmed in by two of Yafor 2's fullbacks, and neither Gary Gabriov nor Vash Bullherd was in place to receive a pass. You can see Lt. Sagara's frustration as the fullbacks take the ball away from him and pass it away." The camera zoomed in for a close-up of Lt. Souske. He threw his arms in the air and mouthed the words 'what happened?'

"After this incident," Miko continuted, "the Federation team came together. Or at least half of it did. Finally being true to thier nickname, the Defensive Dynamic Duo, also known as Mugen and Yuki Miya, turned back wave after wave of attacks by Yafor 2, while the offensive languished. Sports pundits have blamed this on what has become known as The Curse of the Federation Midfield, as neither Rina Negative, Zelged Irinar, or Uten Tenshi have been able to consistently get the ball up to the forwards. The forwards could only look on helplessly and grow frustrated as the ball as the fullbacks did the job flawlessly while the midfielders failed consistently." The camera zoomed in on Sagara, who is shouting something at the midfielders, then to Vash, who had his head in his hands, and then to Raye Sun, whose mouth is hanging open in disbelief, and then to Gary Gabriov, who was plucking the petals off of a flower he found growing on the field.

"Hopes rose again in the last quarter when Uten Tenshi finally broke the gridlock and lobbed a pass over the Yafor 2 midfielders to Gary Gabriov. He quickly turned it and blasted what was sure to be a goal." The ball flew towards the goal so fast that the camera just saw a blur. "Unfortunately," Miko said, "the Yafor 2 goalie demonstrated some reflexes worthy of Mahoro, and blocked what would be last good score attempt for the Federation. We walked off the field, defeated again. Yafor 2 had fifteen total shots on goal seven of them quality, compared to a paltry nine shots for the Federation, only three of which were any good." The screen cut back to the newsroom.

"Although the Silver Pandas haven't been talking to Chronicles of the Federation, they have been somewhat more generous with us. Here's some post-game commentary."

The camera cut to Chio Miyahama, with a sad smile on her face. "Well, at least our defensive game is coming together for the first time since the Baptism of Fire. This has been a very frustrating time for us. But make no mistake. We're not going away. We'll be back, and even if qualifying is pretty much out of the question by this time, we're not giving up."

The camera cut to Gene Wil, a reserve fullback. "Our forwards today displayed an uncharacterisic vehemence against our own teammates," he said with a deadpan tone. "Just as a house divided against itself cannot stand, a team that feels enmity within its own ranks cannot hope to win."

Another cut to Yuki Miya. "I told them I wasn't qualified for this!" the seventeen year old fumed. "I'm just a high school player, I can't hang with these professionals! But would that stupid robot listen to me? No! I got a huge guilt trip about how I was letting the Federation down and how I was being immature and selfish! ARGH!"

"Um, you do know that you and Mugen are the only two players who had any success with today's game, right?" the reporter asked.

"We've allowed fourteen goals in five games!" Yuki retorted. "How do you call that success?!"

The camera returned to the newsroom. "Every cloud has a silver lining, though. The first is that the Federation's defense has been coming together over the past two matchdays, and we can only hope that the offense is soon to follow. Furthermore, because the one and only goal was scored early, we do not expect to see as many demonstrations as we have in days past. In other news...[click!]

[The following takes place soon after the game in Endymion's office.]

"Lieutenant Souske, please have a seat," Endymion invited Sagara in. "I haven't been able to check the news yet. How did you do today?"

"Shamefully," Saraga confessed. "The fullbacks have been doing their part, and we haven't been doing ours."

"That's unfortunate to hear," Endymion said. "But I have another issue at hand. Are you familiar with Uten Tenshi's educational background?"

"Vaguely," Sagara shrugged. "She's supposed to be from some prestiegeous school or something."

"Something like that," Endymion said. "But I suspect that there's something more at work here. Here's what we know. Uten Tenshi is the only person ever to graduate from the Ohtari Academy, or so their pubically available records claim. Second, it is indeed a real school, regardless of whatever else it may be. Finally, Sergeant in the Magical Soldiers Andy Stone has gone AWOL there. We suspect that someone there is working compusion magic, and that's how they got Andy."

"On a large scale, Mr. President?" Sagara asked. "I didn't think that we knew how to make a compusion spell last more than a matter of hours, much less work that magic on a large scale."

"Well, we don't, if by 'we' you mean the government and our universities," Endymion clarified. "But an individual might have cracked the problem and kept the advantage for himself. But we don't know. That's why you and I are goign to to the Ohtari Academy tonight. I want you wearing kevlar, and I'll be weaing my battle tuxedo."

"Sir?" Sagara raised an eyebrow.

"If there's large scale compulsion involved, we may be in for a fight," Endymion explained.

"No, I mean the tuxedo," Sagara said.

"Oh. That would take a long time to explain. I'll explain on the way. Bring your sidearm, and plenty of stun rounds. We may need them."

"Yes, Mr. President," Sagara saluted and left to suit up.

[The following is an excerpt from Chronicles of the Fedration]

President Endymion Shuts Down Illegal Academy. Personally.

Last night, a fracas erupted when Endymion and Lieutenant Sagara Souske went to the secretive Ohtari Academy to inquire about a sergeant who had gone AWOL there. The fight broke out in the campus' town square when school dean Yuhi Ohtari attempted to eject the president and his bodyguard by force. That was a mistake almost as bad as telling Chuck Norris that a roundhouse isn't the best way to kick a soccer ball. We later interviewed President Endymion about the incident.

"Well, it was pretty clear that some sort of compulsion magic was in effect. Area effect too. Pretty powerful stuff," the president said while offering a cup of tea to our reporter. "It was very obvious that Lt. Souske and I were simply not seeing the same things as we walked through the campus. He saw a healty, vibrant student population, soaring, magestic buildings, and a well-maintained campus. He even talked about registering as a student there when his commision ran out. I saw the so-called student's dead eyes, deteriorating buildings, and a campus that had never seen a broom. Looks like the spell's power is inversely proportional to age, which is why we lost Sgt. Sgone and nearly lost Lt. Souske. Anyway, we met up with the dean and settled matters. It turns out that this Yuhi Ohtari had quite an operation going. All sorts of illegal activities, carried out by people under compulsion. Of course, he will be charged with all those crimes, not the least of which include desertion and assaulting a superior officer. We could seek the death penalty if we wanted to, but I think it's more fitting to let him live out the rest of his life in prison."

But what of Uten Tenshi, the academy's only graduate?

"I'm so glad that the wretched place was finally shut down!" Uten gushed. "I just want to appologize to Coach Miyahama for trying to tempt her into visiting that place, the magic would have had her in no time at all! They made all sorts of threats if I didn't go and recruit more people into the academy!"

The Chronicles wishes to congratulate the president on yet anothe job well done.

[The following takes place in President Endymion's office.]

"She's lying, of course," Raye said as Endymion put the newspaper down. "People were willingly sending their children to that school, they had no need of Uten as a recruiting agent. And why join the national football team, especially since it's such a big time commitment? I think she was after Colonel Miyahama!"

"It's possible," Endymion conceded. "If I were in Yuhi's shoes, I'd want someone as well versed in espionage as Chio on my payroll."

At that moment a functionary burst into Endymion's office. "Mr. President, Mr. President!" he said.

"What is it?" Endymion asked, startled.

"It's Yuhi! He's escaped!"

"So, the plot thickens," Raye narrowed her eyes. "So do we frog-march Uten off of the team? It would at least get her away from Chio."

"There's no more danger from that, the Academy has been dismantled," Endymion assured her. "No. We should keep our friends close, and our enemies closer."

OOC: So, does anyone want to give aid and comfort to Yuhi Ohtari and start some international intrigue? Telegram me if so. :)
Cuation
09-03-2006, 12:32
Rual Creates Anarchy

A nice rest after the brutal defeat to the Paladins seems to have boosted the Cuation team. Roy Ferguson was rested on the bench as he felt unwell, allowing playmaker Giovanni to show what he could do. Today was a day where Cuation took control of the midfield and dominated.

The early stages gave Cuation the edge, hard tackling seemned to shake up a team who has never fuffied the potential it showed in the BoF three seasons ago. Then Ashton was fouled on the right, Giovanni curled in the free kick and Tanner rose above the defence, his looping header beating the stranded keeper.

Ten minutes, one goal up and Cuation started to attack but lacked the final ball till the 20th minute. Rio won the ball and played it up to Tanner, his knock down finding Rual Mendiz in space. His voley curved onto the post but he had kept running, powering home the rebound.

The opposition tried to resist further goals till half time so they could reorgnise but in the 43rd minute, Giovanni played Milnar through down the left flank. Cutting to the byline, his low cross was hammered home by Rual

3-0 up, the team came out and played possesion football though Rual and Giovanni showed urgency to increase the score line against a team in shambles. A fantastic ball behind the defence by Giovanni allowed Rual to complete his hatrick. 4-0

Man of the Match was hatrick hero Rual, his speed cuased problems and his finishing was superb.

World Cup Hacked!

The alternate cup that saw Cuation in the middle of the group, rather then third, has gone missing. Security reports suggest a hacker and the company involved has gone bankrupt. The Cuation security forces are willing to help with any investigation on that matter, even if it was biased against us.

Next Match

Away to CR Oscilloscopes who have gained four points in five games. Not bad for a new team but Cuation will hope to thrash them and keep their hold on third place. Rumors are that the manager will have the Cuation team try to exploit the flanks. This is the type of fixture we tend to struggle in so an upset is on the cards.
Cataduanes
09-03-2006, 13:03
Islanders fail to reach potential

After so much hope the Islanders lost fixtures on matchday 4 and 5 to Anathematic Rep (3-1) and Solar Assoc. (3-2). The Islanders face a tough battle to catch one of the top three places. Coach Manua expressed his frustration in the press conference after the home fixture against the Solar assoc in one word ´Mierda!´.
Swilatia
09-03-2006, 13:17
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif

Today's match will be against New Preussen. We do not have as much chance against them as we do against Popolus of The Footie Dream Team, but are still very likely to win against them.

I mean, look at the rankings that we had at the beginning. ours is 69, and theirs is 171.

However, we see that New Preussen defeated Rejistania a few days ago, and that cant be too good for us if Rejistania is supposed to have the best team in this qualification group.

Well, the only thing that we can do is hope to win the match so that we get back on the top three from our low 7th place position we have now.
Tynelia
09-03-2006, 13:30
“Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Tynelian Soccer weekly. Unfortunately things keep getting grimmer and grimmer for the national team as they fall to Nazakaland by a 2-0 score. As always this is Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin with the postgame analysis. So what’s on your mind today Anna?”

“The same thing that’s on every Tynelian’s mind. Where’s the offense? The team does have some quality scorers but they can’t seem to put the ball in the net during this tournament. Its actually considered a good thing when Jay Masterson hits the crossbar and bopuces away. At least they got something past the keeper.”

“You’re starting to sound a little cynical there Anna.”

“Sorry Sal but this lack of offense is driving me nuts. Even Coach O’meara is sick of it and the fans are even less forgiving. Talk shows are already talking about removing him from the squad if Tynelia doesn’t turn this around. One noted expert has gone on record to say that O’meara is a good coach but far too conservative to be the man on the spot in a tournament like this.”

“That may be, but what about the role of fatigue? The defense didn’t look as sharp today and even Vladimar Malloy seemed a step slow today.”

“That is probably true. There has been so much pressure on the defense to be perfect, O’Meara has had no choice but to stick to his regulars almost the entire game to stay in it. Now this last game shows that it seems to have caught up with them. The offense is fresher, after all they haven’t really done much of anything to get too tired so far and the lineups have been changing daily.”

“There’s that cynicism again Anna, let’s cut over to Dana lee on the field where she managed to get a few quick comments from an obviously upset Coach O’meara.”

<camera cuts to Dana who is standing alone on the soccer field in Nanakaland>

“hello Sal, once again Coach O’meara didn’t have much to say after another disappointing loss. The one comment he did make was in obvious exasperation over the troubles the offense is having. ‘These guys couldn’t score if they were locked in a brothel all night.’ Obviously the coach is clearly upset that none of his moves to try and jumpstart the scoring has paid off. Back to you Sal.”

<Camera returns to the studio>

“Thanks Dana. The question now is Anna, what can O’Meara do now to turn it around?”

“I think he’s running out of options, benching players only worked briefly, changing the team alignment didn’t help, adding forwards was no help. Pretty much if not for the defense Tynelia wouldn’t have a point so far. An extremely disappointing start for a team that looked so promising coming out of the Baptism of Fire.”

“Well is there still time Anna? If the offense wakes up is tynelia too far gone?”

“Oh on paper certainly. However look at the next three games. Algar states- the shock of the tournament so far. Total n Utter Insanity- the top seed and the Kazoo people who have won two in a row after a slow start. Before things started it looked like the Algar states would be a win but now don’t be surprised if Tynelia drops all three games. The only real chance to make any sort of run is when we start back over again. All four of our points came in the first three games and Tynelia gets the Weegies and Risa-Aramour at home this time. But as it stands now don’t expect much.”

“You’ve really turned on this team haven’t you Anna?”

“No more than any other soccer fan is. We all feel for the defense which is only averaging a goal a game despite the fatigue they must be feeling. And the offense has thrown that fine effort away. Maybe the bye will help the offense get organized but I’m not too confident about that.”

“Well before we forget, the shots went 19-10 in Nanakaland’s favor with a 6-1 quality edge. Nanakaland controlled the time of possession by nine minutes as well in a pretty thorough domination of the game. The goals were given up in the 30th minute on a breakaway and the second at the 71 minute mark when a tired John Stossels was outrun by the Nanakaland forward who blasted a shot to the high corner over Malloy. And that sealed the deal. The rest of the league continued on as now the two leaders starting to pull away with 12 points each and nanakaland has now caught the Algars for third with 9 points. The Kazoo People have righted themselves and trail these two but a single win and the rest of the field is struggling to stay above water at this point. This is really turning into a haves and have nots group.”

“That’s right Sal, the good teams are pummeling the bad ones. Other than the surprise of the Algar States and the poor showing of the Weegies- who might I mention still managed to beat Tynelia, the seedings are more or less holding up now that the Kazoo People have gotten their heads back in the tournament. Tynelia will be hard pressed to hold onto its seed at this rate given the tough schedule these next three games.”

“Well maybe Coach O’Meara will come up with something on the off day to get things going again. Something has to give sometime after all.”

“We’ll see Sal but I don’t know what else he can try, he’s rotated everyone possible on offense and nothing worked.”

“That’s true but we can always hope. Now with Tynelia not playing and the SimCup still hacked to the dismay of teenaged boys everywhere the lovely Harmonie Harris will not be on today’s show.”

“You know Sal, why do you never call me the ‘lovely’ Anna Dalespin?”
<Sal looks at the middle aged skinny sour tempered woman next to him and compares her to the curvy golden haired bubbly, yet somewhat dim 22 year old Harmonie and stammers>

“Um it’s the producers Anna, they’re trying to boost the ratings after all the money they spent to put this daily coverage so they’re making me call her that. That’s all.”

“I see.” Anna replied somewhat frostily.

“Well, um, that’s all the time we have today on the show. We’ll be back tomorrow with an abbreviated program on Tynelia’s off day with scores and the latest news from group play. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for,um the lovely, Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”
<credits roll>

((OOC- a goal! my kingdom for a goal! <G>))
Jeruselem
09-03-2006, 13:45
Jeruselem Goverment News

WC27 MD4 and 5 roll-up summary

Group 1

Oh look, guess who's leading Group 1 now? Yes, it's us. Jeruselem are back to the winning ways of old. We struggled against Atheistic Right, with a lucky 1-0 win which some say was not deserved due to the usual late own goal but Kirstiriera found out what Jeruselem can do. We beat Kirstiriera 5-1 to put our authority on the group.

New Montreal States lost to An Archy 0-2 in shock but like any good team bounced right back. CR Oscilloscopes got smacked 3-0 and the states are back in the race now. They claim 2nd spot now.

Druida - having a SHOCKER. Losing to Collonie 0-3 then drawing with Atheistic Right 2 ALL. Not the sort of results this team wants to see, and the rookies and doing better.

Collonie had a bye on MD5 but it's 3-0 win over Druida helped it keep in the top half of the table on 5th. The byes for the top teams are finishing now.

An Archy hold down with but held 1st on MD4. After shocking New Montreal States 2-0, it looked dangerous before taking on Cuation but they lost 0-4 and dropped back. Inconsistent or the states just had one bad day?

Cuation are holding on to the coveted 3rd spot for now. They had their bye on MD4 and fell back but on MD4 they smashed An Archy 4-0 to reclaim lost ground. We believe they will probably hold 3rd spot if they continue this way.

Group 1 results are sort of as expected with Jeruselem (that's us) and New Montreal States leading the way. An Archy and Cuation are upstaging the other teams including Druida and Collonie, so it's 3rd spot which is most likely to be contested very hotly.

MD4
Atheistic Right 0-1 Jeruselem
An Archy 2-0 New Montreal States
Collonie 3-0 Druida
Kirstiriera 1-1 CR Oscilloscopes

MD5
Jeruselem 5-1 Kirstiriera
New Montreal States 3-0 CR Oscilloscopes
Druida 2-2 Atheistic Right
Cuation 4-0 An Archy


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Jeruselem 4 3 1 0 11 3 8 10
2 New Montreal States 4 3 0 1 7 2 5 9
3 Cuation 4 3 0 1 8 5 3 9
4 An Archy 5 2 2 1 6 7 -1 8
5 Collonie 4 2 1 1 8 6 2 7
6 Druida 4 1 2 1 4 6 -2 5
7 CR Oscilloscopes 5 1 1 3 3 8 -5 4
8 Atheistic Right 5 0 2 3 4 7 -3 2
9 Kirstiriera 5 0 1 4 4 11 -7 1


...

Group 9

MD4
Pedriana 2-3 Audioslavia
Kelse 0-4 Commerce Heights
Ariddia 3-4 Nedalia
Ocmeoub 0-2 Berner Street

MD5
Audioslavia 2-1 Ocmeoub
Commerce Heights 1-1 Berner Street
Nedalia 2-2 Pedriana
Chicanada 0-1 Kelse

The Lions had a really exciting 4-3 win over Arridia then let everyone down when they drew with Pedriana 2 ALL. Still, they are 4th and within striking distance of the leaders - let's see more of the vintage Lions.

Audioslavia registered two more wins and Commerce Heights managed only 4 points due to a draw with Berner Street. The shock was Kelse beating Chicanada 1-0 and they hold 3rd. Chicanada got zip as they lost a game and had a bye.

Results pretty much spot on except for Kelse joining the party and making some look silly. The Lions need to get moving or teams like Kelse be in the group stage.

...

Group 10

MD4
Imperial Moose 1-3 Hockey Canada
McPsychoville 1-3 Casari
Majeristan 2-0 Kaze Progressa
Magnus Valerius 1-0 Crna Gora Liv Eng

MD5
Hockey Canada 2-1 Magnus Valerius
Casari 2-0 Crna Gora Liv Eng
Kaze Progressa 1-1 Imperial Moose
Harlesburg 2-0 McPsychoville

The Canucks get two more wins, looking good. Casari are back with a vengence with two wins as well but Majeristan hold 2nd after beating KP 2-0 and having their bye. KP are 8th - with a loss and a draw. McPsychoville are still 4th despite losing two games, as Harlesburg got their first win and got their bye of the way as well.

Hockey Canada and Casari lead while Majestan have impressed. KP and Harlesburg need to improve from now on especially KP who have 1 win only.
Nedalia
09-03-2006, 13:51
The Nedalia Lions

Lions Fail to Beat Pedriana

KAFRA INT'L STADIUM, NEDALIA - It was a similar sight for those witnessing the 100,000 or so Lions fans exiting the stadium after the Nedalia-Pedriana match ended in a 2-2 draw. Here were some of the comments from fans after the game:

"We've witnessed this time and time before. They show us hope, and then perform like this. This is a game we shouldve won."

"I feel terrible. I think I'm going down to the local Hypocrian pub...they'll understand what I'm going through there."

"We need to learn from the Bettians. Look what they're doing: winning! Its such a novel concept here, but hey, you know..."

"%#*% of a *#*$# team we #(%#% have!"

"The AO Regional Football chatroom is gonna have right go at me..."

In other words, a generally not so optimistic mood. The Lions, once again, failed to defeat a team that they really shouldve won, giving up crucial 3 points and gaining only one. To the credit of the offense, it wasnt their fault this time; instead, the blame lays completely on GK Hard Dans. Two blunders by him cost Nedalia the victory, and although they failed to impress the crowd, the Lions shouldve have done enough to put this match away.

Goals scored by Innit Point and Nene launched the Lions to a 2-0 lead by the end of the first half, and although their attack continued to pressure the Pedrianian goal in the 2nd half, Hard Dans caused two fatal mistakes that allowed the opposing team back into the game.

Now Nedalia finds itself still in 4th place, but 5 points off the top. Already, they have put themselves in a hole they couldve easily avoided, and now will have to perform their customary "turn it on when the going gets tough" mode only to fall short. Again.
Vuam and Isma
09-03-2006, 14:19
I guess I'm in the habit of being late for tournaments by now... This post will resume V&I's first 2 matches.

Gazetta de'Esporte

Vuam and Isma Come close to an upset.
Lethislavia - 4 (#4 15, #9 25, #10 60, #11 65)
Vuam and Isma - 3 (Fitzsimmons 36, 52, 87)

Lethislavia are ranked well above V&I in the world rankings (132 places), and when Vuam and Isma stepped off the train that took them to the stadium, the bookies were offering evens on a 3-0 win for Lethislavia. It was V&I's first ever World Cup qualifier, and it was a night to remember.

Lethislavia had sparked up a wonderful stadium, packed with fans, and only a small corner was filled with White and Blue. But when Vuam and Isma walked out alongside Lethislavia, it looked like anything but a balanced match. But, as Johann Fischmann and Scarab had promised : Vuam and Isma was going to be anything but a pushover, no matter who the opposition was.

Lethislavia opened the scoring, and after 15 minutes, Colm O'Connor's chances of keeping an empty net were destroyed by a free-kick that took a deflection off Icham S'baa to find it's way to the back of the net. And the nightmare went on, as only 10 minutes later, O'Connor was left alone against the Lethislavian number 9, who eased the ball 'round him and into the net.

However, Colm saved his day, pulling off two superb saves in the folowing 10 minutes, to deny Lethislavia the 3-0 lead they were expecting.

Then, Fitzsimmons seemed to step his play up a level, and silenced the 40,000 Lethislavians with one of his trademark piledrivers only 9 minutes before the break. After Stefan Grak disposessed a lethislavian wing-back, Fitzsimmons ran through the back of the defence, and hit a first-touch volley from the edge of the box. The ball smacked into the side netting, leaving the lethislavian goalkeeper standing.

From then on, Fitzsimmons and Lidon ran the Lethislavian midfield ragged, and after a brilliant dummy by Fitzsimmons, Lidon got another shot on target before the break, but the lethislavian 'keeper was not going to be beaten by the shot, pushing Lidon's effort over the crossbar.

After half time, neither team had made a substitution, and again, Vuam and Isma's 4-5-1 proved more effective than Lethislavia's 4-4-2, stopping Lethislavia's play in it's tracks.

However, Fitzsimmons was the man of the day for the 15 minutes he put on ofter the break. in the 52nd minute, he intercepted a pass between two lethislavian defenders and ran straight for goal. Once in the area, he managed to dodge a lethislavian leg, and drill the ball through the lethislavian goalkeeper's legs to earn a standing ovation from the 2,000 V&I fans. 2-2, and Vuam and Isma seemed to have the killer edge.

But it all seemed to go wrong for Vuam and Isma as Colm O'Connor left the pitch with his wrist strapped after a very virile challenge with lethislavia's number 7. O'Connor came out to catch the ball, but had to strech over lethislavia's number 7. When he landed, his wrist was caught under the lethislavian player's foot, and he sprained his wrist. Rikjard Stromstottir took off his training kit and strapped on his gloves to face the Lethislavian attack.

However, Vuam and Isma's number 19 will not be happy with his performance. He let in a shot he should have stopped right on the hour, and only 5 minutes later, he fumbled a cross to allow Lethislavia get a 4th goal with a tap-in.

Then, Lethislavia took off both strikers and played the shut-out, with 5 defenders and 5 midfielders, content with the 4-2 scoreline.

But they had forgotten Fitzsimmons, who proved that he was without doubt the man of the match with a powerful header in the 87th minute off a corner by Grak.

Vuam and Isma were fighters to the end, but were unable to move the Lethislavian net again. 4-3, for a first match, in a foreign country , against a team that's a lot stronger... well, it's not bad!



Gazetta de'Esporte

Vuam and Isma take three points to edge away from the wooden spoon.
Vuam and Isma - 2 (O'Beirne 62, Dynamique 79)
Palacetonia - 1 (#14 75)

For Vuam and Isma's first international match in Vuam and Isma, the Stadio Mondragon was filled to the brim. 37,000 people were cheering on Vuam and Isma, and were easily covering the 3,000 Palacetonians who had travelled to Vuam and Isma.

After a rather boring first half, culminating in a shot by Fitzsimmons that hit the crossbar, the score was tied at 0-0 at half-time.

Most of the play having been in midfield, Scarab changed the formation round, taking off O'Driscoll who had been carded, and replacing him by O'Beirne, as Vuam and Isma attempted to use a 4-4-2 to get through the Palacetonia defence.

O'Beirne's presence was immediate and his 194 centimeters were the main reason why. Just after the hour, Lidon managed to play a one-two with Yak to get some space on the wing. His cross was perfect, and O'Beirne cut the ball out at the first post, to earn his first goal in the qualifiers.

However, Palacetonia seemed to wake up after the goal, and a skillful flick-on by the palacetonian winger opened up a space in the V&I defence that #14 used to just poke the ball out of Stromstottir's reach.

But Vuam and Isma were determined to leave with something, and Exclamatio Lidon was the man who made the break. Picked out by Stromstottir, Lidon turned past two midfielders, exchanged passes with Fitzsimmons, and then passed the ball forwards to O'Beirne. O'Beirne just pushed the ball back into Lidon's path, setting up Lidon's goal. the palacetonian #1 could only look in dispair as the ball curled inside the post.

Vuam and Isma applied the pressure right until the end, and O'Beirne was unlucky to not get a second next to his name, sending two balls only inches wide of the post in the last 5 minutes.
Tadjikistan
09-03-2006, 15:09
Road to victory blocked
By Simon Grinchik, part time sportsjournalist

Tadjikistans 4-0 victory in Green Wombat came at the same time as the Lovisan draw in Becquerellia and sent the Tigers up to first position in group 11, but not for long. The Tadjik Tigers visited Emperor Pudu, an unranked side that managed to keep their losses low.

The Dominion of Emperor Pudu plays a very defensive tactic but they are not as drastic as Pastorville, the Dominion actually has two forwards and three midfielders. Although these are no match for the Tadjik midfield led by Michael Pliiev, the Tadjiks had trouble getting their passes to the strikers.
During much of the first half, the Tadjik were occupied finding the weak spots of their opponents and the only good shot by Zyrianov, was easily stopped by goalkeeper Kaibula of Emperor Pudu.

Sharipov thought it was time to make a few changes in his team and added Priore and Kuropatkin for Kirponos and Zyrianov. All players of Emperor Pudu's selection were young boys, lacking the experience of such men as Daniele Priore. The latter, his parents were Italian imigrants, gave the Tadjiks more space and sent them deeper.
Saidomir Saradov was quick to exploit this extra freedom and brought an end to Tadjikistans suffering with a goal in the 60th minute.

Everything was going well and the Tadjik dominated most of the second half. Priore thanked his Coach for putting him on the team with a few wonderful shots on the Dominion box, but he could not beat the goalkeeper, Tulberdievs shot in the rebound went over. The Tigers started falling back and gave up their attempts at scoring as the end of the match drew near.
The lack of movement on their half probably made the Tadjik defenders less vigilant, though they got a warning in the 68th minute when Vasilik found his way to the Tadjik box, a reflex by Daniel Gurchev blocking his shot. The Dominion equalized with the cornershot that resulted from Gurchevs action.

'I dont know exactly what went wrong' Khumdin Sharipov said after the match 'but we should have won this one. Pastorville was much more defensive and we beat them 2-0, it should have been 3-0 today. This will definitly be discussed in the lockerroom, there's no room for failure in our next match against Lovisa.


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Lovisa 4 3 1 0 14 1 13 10
2 Tadjikistan 4 3 1 0 10 2 8 10
3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 4 2 1 1 5 7 -2 7
4 Giant Zucchini 4 2 0 2 8 6 2 6
5 Pastorville 4 2 0 2 3 3 0 6
6 Green wombat 5 2 0 3 4 9 -5 6
7 Emporer Pudu 5 0 4 1 3 8 -5 4
8 Georgeonia 5 1 1 3 1 7 -6 4
9 Becquerelia 5 0 2 3 1 6 -5 2


Fixtures:
MD1: Stay at home, do nothing
MD2: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan W 1-3
MD3: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 2-0
MD4: Green Wombat - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD5: Tadjikistan - Emperor Pudu D 1-1
MD6: Lovisa - Tadjikistan
MD7: Tadjikistan - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD8: Becquerelia - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - Georgonia
MD10: Stay home again, do nothing
MD11: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD12: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD13: Tadjikistan - Green Wombat
MD14: Emperor Pudu - Tadjikistan
MD15: Tadjikistan - Lovisa
MD16: Andossa se Mitrin Vega - Tadjikistan
MD17: Tadjikistan - Becquerelia
MD18: Georgonia - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Zyrianov - 4
Tulberdiev - 3
Saradov - 2
Gurchev - 1
Audioslavia
09-03-2006, 16:58
http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt
Its Never Easy, Is It?

Just as the 'slaves scraped flukey wins over Pedriana, Ariddia and Nedalia, so they rode their luck last night against lowly Ocmeoub, at home to boot.

It all seemed to be going to plan early on, with the 'slaves peppering away at the visitor's goal from the off, scoring in the 28th minute through an Arturo Vitalis finish and remaining in control until the interval. The second half looked to be more of the same, with Audioslavia keeping the Ocmeoub side pinned back in their own half yet ultimately failing to find the back of the net on the many times they breached the defence. Vitalis squandered numerous opportunities, as did Saikkonen on his first start for the 'slaves of the campaign. Kabaofo Alanila, in the for the out of favour Jackie Burns, also saw a chance go begging as his header pinged neatly off the outside of the post.

Ocmeoub were, to their credit, absorbing all the pressure the 'slaves could throw at them. Ocmeoub's suprisingly attacking 3-1-6 formation were pushed back, for the majority of the game, into an 8-1-1, with star striker Biron Geters and speed demon Tonk Retters left partially upfield in the event of a counter attack. The counter attacks didn't happen for the first sixty minutes of the game as the 'slaves played possession football. However, they did counter in the sixty-first minute. And Scored.

The Ocmeoubians boast that Tonk Retters is the fastest man in the world. After the counter attack on the sixty first minute, Mika Väinämöinen and Torsten Rijkaard are in agreeance. A lofted clearance from Ocmeoub defender Yuri Sedi found Geters who, despite being marked closely by Petaja, managed to turn and ping a high ball out to the left wing. Rijkaard looked favourite to collect it, but Retters' immense speed got him to the ball before a scrambling Rijkaard. Retters' first touch was awful, and almost took the ball out of play on the side-line, but he got their in time and began hurtling towards the Audioslavian goal via the corner of the penalty area, with Mika Väinämöinen trying, and failing miserably to catch him. Yngve came out to meet the speedy midfielder and dived at his feet only for a Retters to snappily change direction and carry the ball square of the goal. Again, Retters' control seemed to have let him down and the ball carried far away accross the box. Three Audioslavians were arriving on the scene to try and clear, and Inger Johansen looked like getting their first, but a scrambling, diving Tonk Retters got their first and, in the middle of a sliding tackle, hooked the ball goalwards. For a second it looked like his slice was curling against the post, but at the last second the ball's trajectory straightened up and squeezed in at the near corner of the empty goal.

Embarrasment is increasingly becoming a familiar feeling for the Audioslavian team, and this time they found themselves drawing one-all with a side ranked almost 190 places below them, on their own ground. Something had to be done, and Magasara's answer was to throw Janne Jarnefelt, his last striker, into the fray with Torsten Rijkaard coming off. Again the Audioslavians pressured, but again, almost immediately, Ocmeoub counter-attacked and almost got themselves the lead. It was Retters again who picked the ball up in midfield and, after selling Mussorgksi a dummy, feigned a pass to Geters and broke through a gap in the defence. The midfielder bore down on goal with Petaja and Vainamoinen trailing in his wake, but his finish was found wanting as he struck the ball cleanly at Yngve's legs.

The 'slaves then began a counter attack of their own. Petaja knocked the ball far upfield where Alanila won the battle for it with the unfortunately named Dreg Frank. Alanila's header found Saikkonen on the edge of the area who, with a deft flick, nutmegged Yuri Sedi, ran behind the bemused defender and took a shot at goal, only to see Bob Frager sprawl to his right and tip the ball round the post. It was a fantastic save, and it turned out to be the first of many as Audioslavia time and again tested him. Vitalis powered a header towards the bottom corner which was somehow kept out, and hammered away, but Frager's wrist, while the goalkeepers foot took the praise for keeping out a seemingly unstoppable strike from Didi Mussorgski from the edge of the area. A deflection had sent the ball the opposite way to where Frager was diving, but his quick reactions sent his foot out to glance the ball over the bar.

Frager's heroics in goal looked to be setting up an upset that was likely to hit the team's already desperately low confidence at a vital time in the qualifiers, until the immense pressure the 'slaves were exerting on Ocmeoub's defence resulted in an eighty-eighth minute penalty for the home side. Television replays portrayed a dubious decision, with Yuri Sedi's outstretched leg seemingly making no contact with the upended Jari Saikkonen, but it was of no consequence to Arturo Vitalis who, finally, managed to beat Frager with the penalty to ease the worries of the home fans as well as net his 6th goal of the campaign.

The final whistle went with the Ocmeoubians pushing up as a team for the first real time in the match, and the 'slaves had again snatched a win in dubious circumstances.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 2 (Vitalis 28, 88)
Ocmeoub 1 (Retters 61)

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 4 4 0 0 9 4 5 12
2 Commerce Heights 4 3 1 0 9 1 8 10
3 Kelse 5 3 1 1 9 6 3 10
4 Nedalia 4 2 1 1 10 8 2 7
5 Chicanada 4 2 0 2 2 2 0 6
6 Berner Street 5 1 2 2 5 6 -1 5
7 Ariddia 4 1 1 2 6 8 -2 4
8 Pedriana 5 0 2 3 4 9 -5 2
9 Ocmeoub 5 0 0 5 2 12 -10 0

The 'slaves are now, for the first time in the campaign, on top of the group, if only by two points ahead of Commerce Heights. Kelse recovered admirably from their 4-0 mauling by CH to snatch a win against Chicanada. The fact that they're now four points ahead of the Chicanadans and three ahead of Nedalia, who scuppered a 2-0 lead against Pedriana to draw 2-2, means that, despite having played one more game, they're more than equal to their more experienced counterparts. Both the Nedalians and the Chicanadans have made modest starts to the campaign, and will be looking for big wins over the coming games to move them closer to the leaders.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.
Green wombat
09-03-2006, 17:04
Here's the Movies that I posted..... Didn't Know that stonewalledwas a movie so I didn't count that one as one of the movies.
BTW I did hide a 14th....Had Oscars on my mind too much during post...lol
Today's match vs. Green Zucchini started as good at it gets for Green Wombat, but then they crash. the fast and furious start started when SSgt. Wilcox scored off a header in the 7th minute and not even 3 minutes later, CMSgt. LeRoux scored to make it 2-0 Wombats. But the two goal lead was gone with the wind as Boyer went through the rocky wombat defense and made it 2-1. Life is beautiful for Nuvolari because in the 29th minute he tied the match 2-2. In the 32nd minute, million dollar baby Pérez scored and the Wombat lead was gone in sixty seconds. In the 39th minute de Silva scored to make it 4-2 and not even Patton himself could help Green wombat.The match turned into a fight club as Green wombat goalie P1C Johnson was pulled and argued with Admiral Ford.

In the second half though, CpL Holmes played like a man on fire and stonewalled the Zucchinis attacks blocking all 8 shots he faced. After the match P1C Johnson was kicked off the team and head Coach Vice Admiral Herny Ford choose to replace him with 'Saving' Pvt. Ryan.

the wombats will hopfully bounce back from this loss tommorrow when the host Pastorville at 7pm in Estadio Hexagona.

(ooc-I counted 13 movie titles in this post try to find them all, rats!!!)
OOC- if any one can find all 13 of them, they should get an extra RP Bonus... if the Hosts choose to do so.

Mallrats was the hidden one....
Boudra-Boudra
09-03-2006, 17:11
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg

Boudra-Boudra National Selection

The Boudra-Boudra Football Association is happy to announce that with the finishing of the first season of the Virsliga (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Virsliga) and the appointment of a national coach, the selection for the national team has now been made.

Head Coach:
Linus Gunfi-Pok (52, former tennisplayer and sports commentator. Co-creator of the Virsliga)

Goalkeepers:
- Guido Smith (25, Kanzi)
- Ohène Strok'pah (23, Boudra-Boudra-City) *Currently Injured*
- Flip Vandecasteele (25, Wolarr-Tsli)

Defenders:
- Hanz Buyakasha (29, Kanzi)
- Dia Dzigbode (24, Wolarr-Tsli)
- Faraji Gimelstob (22, New Salst-Gungen)
- Rintje Jacobus-Fredriksson (31, Sjlipp)
- Mark Oahp (22, New Salst-Gungen)
- Samuel-Fred Van Overstraeten (26, Bakss)
- Simon Samuelsson (33, Higglamu)

Midfielders:
- John Böhm (23, Wolarr-Tsli)
- Geert Boudra (24, Krill)
- Rikke Gallucio (22, Kanzi)
- Nikolajs Gelders (22, Higglamu)
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado (26, Krill)
- Torsten Oppt-Sjlook (30, Bakss)
- Njjik Rahlii (23, Trojsno)
- Abraham Whiler (25, New Salst-Gungen)

Forwards:
- Sosimo Bradkorb (27, Kanzi)
- Jarno Karvi (24, Wolarr-Tsli)
- Teodors McGlothen (22, Trojsno)
- Malimbo Tar (26, New Salst-Gungen)
- Andris Zdelizj (22, Trojsno)

As of now, Boudra-Boudra will start participating in major football tournaments. To gain some experience however, the BBFA has announced they would like to play a friendly or two away from home against teams playing in the current World Cup. (The stadium sizes of the Boudran teams are quite small, but the BBFA has announced that they will be helping out the teams to increase their stadium size as almost all matches in the Virsliga are sold-out.) So, interested teams can send a request to host a game against the Boudra-Boudra national team to the BBFA.

====================
My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Anything you like really. Just no killing and such. :)
====================

OOC: I hope it's no problem I post my roster here. Don't think a lot of ppl would read it if I posted it in the rosterthread.

Editing added this:
OOC: I know that:
- the current World Cup Qualifiers are already underway, that the groups have already drawn and that there are no extra qualifier places for WC27.
- friendly matches have no incidence on KPB rankings, or any other ranking.
- the next competition Boudra-Boudra is able to enter is the pre-WC28 Baptism of Fire.
=> I refused to play in the WC27 so Boudra-Boudra could play in a BoF tournament, but as I have not much to do as of now, why not play a friendly.
Vuam and Isma
09-03-2006, 17:18
~~~

Vuam and Isma informs Boudra-Boudra that the current World Cup Qualifiers are already underway, that the groups have already drawn and that there are no extra qualifier places for WC27.

Also, Vuam and Isma informs Boudra-Boudra that friendly matches have no incidence on KPB rankings, or any other ranking.

Finally, Vuam and Isma informs Boudra-Boudra that the next competition they are liable to be able to enter is the pre-WC28 Baptism of Fire, scheduled soon after the end of WC27.
Schiavonia
09-03-2006, 17:19
The Schiavone Scribe
Sloths doing OK

Well, five matchdays and four games down, and Schiavonia are in a very strong position in Group 12, on hte same points as top team and top ranks in the group Squornshelous.

Better still, both of the top two have a game in hand on the closest three teams. So, with only two nations guarenteed a place in the finals, things are looking good for the boys in orange and scarlet.

Of course, we were going to bring you this progress report before the game against the other Spaam team who aren't Spaam, but due to a failure at our distributers (jolt online gaming), we've just had to re-do it and update it.

So matchday two we didn't play on, matchday three nobody saw us play on, matchday four we drowned some kittens in their own pond, and matchday five we beat Spaamian Plijous at the King Francesco Stadium, with Draig McAndrew on target, shortly before being stretchered off with concussion after being hit smack in the face by a goalpost.

Still, he should be back for the next game, which is the toughest one of the campaign - Squornshelous away. However, Rodney Lowe will more than likely rest him by playing the less common Schiavone 2-4-2-2 to clog up the centre of midfield and stop the Psychoses from playing.

Meanwhile, the big news in Schiavonia over the past three matchdays has been Michael Ford, former SFF Chief, being imprisonned. Though his sentence is for eighteen months, this is dependant upon what happens to him once he gets to Liverpool England.

Yes, because that's where he's being sent, ladies and gentlemen. The land of the ignoramus! The two governemnts have come to an agreement, and Ford should be on his way over there for a trial... hmmm, probably just as you're reading this.

The deal the judge gave him was this - if his sentence in Liverpool England is less than eighteen months, then he'll serve the rest of his term in Schiavonia. If it's more, tough. That's his own fault.

We await with baited breath.

Finally, the SFF have formally invited Boudra-Boudra to play at the King Francesco Stadium on matchday eleven, and are now awaiting a response.
Dance 2 Revolution
09-03-2006, 18:27
Dancing 2 Fall

Dance 2 Revolution have no way to stop the slump as they just keep losing

Dance 2 Revolution were destroyed this week as they fell 4-1 to slight favourites Tonissia. This result continues the Revolutionaries worst run of losses in their history. This run is shown below:


Cup of Harmony 18 Day 3: Kyrecia 2 - 0 Dance 2 Revolution
Cup of Harmony 18 QFs: Spaam 2 - 0 Dance 2 Revolution (AET)
MD01: Anathematic Republics 2 - 0 Dance 2 Revolution
MD02: The Solar Association 2 - 0 Dance 2 Revolution
MD03: Dance 2 Revolution 0 - 2 UN Peacekeepers
MD04: Dance 2 Revolution 2 - 3 Spruitland
MD05: Tonissia 4 - 1 Dance 2 Revolution


Not even when D2R were a new footballing nation had they been on such a terrible run. The Revolutionaries will be looking to bring themselves into a new lease of life during the non-competitive match day, where in preparation for a crunch game against Nebuluex, Dance 2 Revolution will host the Kaze Progressian Under 21 team in a friendly.

Many people believe that Naoki Maeda's announcement that he would retire at the end of the World Cup has had a demoralising effect on the team. He had this to say

I feel disappointed. I expected much more from my players in my final campaign as manager. I hope that the next manager in line has a better start to his reign than the end of mine. I am sure, however, that we will start to climb back up eventually.

Speculation has began about who will be the next manager after this terrible and embarassing run. Über is much the favourite to take over the helm, having already known the players through being assistant coach for 2 campaigns and being many of the player's recent role model. Other names include Jorge Katan, who is rumoured to be wanting the job after he retires from playing after this cup, and is favouritie for those wanting a younger manager. Another possibility is a foreign manager, which might bring a new format into the team, but may make the dressing-room feel uncomfortable. Paul Handplant is also retiring, and Yshtyn Mtnyvich has already been announced to have accepted the role as D2R goalkeeping coach.

The only thing that D2R will be hoping now is that they do not get the wooden spoon of the tournament, and have the worst finish from a team in the top 100. Maybe they will start to play like they did at the end of the previous campaign, and build up to a strong Cup of Harmony again? One can only dream by the way the team is playing. Does the turnaround start against border-sharers Kaze Progressa? We'll see.

Qualifying Fixtures:
MD01: @ Anathematic Republics (0-2 L)
MD02: @ The Solar Association (0-2 L)
MD03: vs. UN Peacekeepers (0-2 L)
MD04: vs. Spruitland (2-3 L)
MD05: @ Tonissia (1-4 L)
MD06: vs. Kaze Progressa Under 21s {Friendly}
MD07: vs. Nebuleux
MD08: vs. Crystilakere
MD09: @ Cataduanes
MD10: vs. Anathematic Republics
MD11: vs. The Solar Association
MD12: @ UN Peacekeepers
MD13: @ Spruitland
MD14: vs. Tonissia
MD15: BYE
MD16: @ Nebuleux
MD17: @ Crystilakere
MD18: vs. Cataduanes
Casari
09-03-2006, 18:45
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

2-0 Win seems to have righted the boat
Calls to sack Hill quieted again with 2 straight

In Casari's first truly inspired play of the tournement, the Casarans managed to entirely run around newcomers Crna Gora Liv Eng and give themselves a good lead-in into the next match against Hockey Canada.

Goals by Livingston, who recieved the first national team start of his career, and Roe, Hill's new Right Foreward of choice from Shelby Football Club, held CG on their heels all day with a flurry of attacks from the wings. The first truly dominant performance of the year is important to team morale, as the team finally stopped looking like they were plucked out of a morgue and reanimated for the match using the dark arts.

The short run is sure to be tested soon, as the next match in World Cup qualifying is against the top team in the group, Hockey Canada. While the tigers-on-skates recently managed to put them down in the Cherry Cup, optimism for this match is high as well.

"All it'll take is a bit of luck. And that's been the basis of our success so far, so I can't imagine us being any less lucky now." A fan said after the match.

The recent flurry of voices demanding the removal of Coach Hill from the helm of the national team have subsided as well after the recent performance, now that the team is back to showing the old spirit that lead them to success. Some have attributed the mood to finally discovering how to play offense again with the wing threats of Livingston and Roe managing to best the defense instead of relying on feeding the ball to Ronalo all alone in the front.

"I was confient we'd up the calibur of play. There's still a lot of games left. And if anyone still thinks I should be fired, well, they can go to hell." Hill said, before leaving for the post-match locker room speech.
Oliverry
09-03-2006, 18:50
Oliverry: The only team that only won in Group 8 of the qualifiers until now!

Oliverry won every match since the beginning of the Qualifiers. Everyone knew it was going to be very easy to qualify, but not that easy. Jean-Alan Bellemort even said that it was his easiest cup qualifiers ever! He only allowed 2 goals in 4 matches, recording 2 shutouts(clean sheets for those oversea). Robert Auguste scored 2 goals each game, at the exception of the one against Spaam, where he scored the only goal of the game. Asked about his performance, he said that these teams all sucked and that it became boring to play against them. The coach and manager, Jonathan Fairbanks, said that he was very happy about his team's performance. About some rumours that would send him back to coach in Milchama, he answered that he will stay the coach and the manager of the Oliverrian national selection until his contract is finished or he gets fired, which means after World Cup 28. This is something we'll watch for you. To conclude, he said that the only team that could eliminate Oliverry in the qualifiers is Starblaydia.

Oliverry is normally not good in group phases, but it's really known for their performances in knockout phases, where they usually win surprizingly. But now that it's cup qualifiers, they will try to concentrate on their next game against Starblaydia.

Sébastien Vachon, Journal oliverrien des sports
Becquerelia
09-03-2006, 21:16
(OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? We wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gifBecqurelia - (0)__________(2) - Andossa Se Mitrin Vegahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/andossa.gif


BECQUERELIA DEFEATED BY ASMV
Loss Is Third Straight On The Road


Errion Vega, ASMV (JNS) -The more experienced and more rested Andossa Se Mitrin Vega team was obviously too much to handle, as Becquerelia lost 0-2.

"They were just too good for us, it seems. They were fast, physical, and tough to play." said Assistant Coach John Meurer at the post-game press conference. It appeared that Coach Meurer was taking over for Head Coach Macarius Ransome during the press conference, as the Head Coach failed to show.

When asked of Ransome's absence, John Meurer blamed it on "...black humours. A nasty case of the vapours."

After Meurer was informed that the humour theory of sickness went out after the 18th century, Meurer responded defensively, "Look, Coach Ransome feels ill, okay? That's all there is to it. You'd feel ill to after that game!"

The game started with Becquerelia briskly taking the ball downfield, only to be met forcefully by the Sea Dragon's toughest defenders: the Banta-N'Bai brothers.

"I can't figure out why they weren't penalized! I think they were trying to kill us!" said Forward Peter Constantine, the recipient of several harsh tackles by the two Sea Dragon defenders.

"What do they feed the soccer players around here?" rhetorically asked Goalkeeper David Deneen, who was scored against twice in the course of play. First by Porshe Alexander, who proved too fast for anyone on the Becquerelian team as she rushed the goal and scored in the 18th minute. The second ASMV goal came in the 52nd minute on what Goalkeeper Deneen called "a flukey play."

"The ball got my knee, flew up in the air, bounced around a scrum of players, and got headed right past me. It was awfully lucky for them I didn't get it. They scored, but it was lucky."

Becquerelia now heads back home for a much-desired bye, and will prepare for a game against Georgeonia.


Becquerelia's Current Results and Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS

MD01: Becquerelia - 0 Pastorville - 2
MD02: Becquerelia - 0 Green wombat - 1
MD03: Emporer Pudu - 0 Becquerelia - 0
MD04: Lovisa - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD05: Becquerelia - 0 Androssa Se Mitrin Vega - 2
MD06: BYE
MD07: Georgeonia (1-1-3) at Becquerelia (0-2-3)
MD08: Tadjikstan (3-1-0) at Becquerelia (0-2-3)
MD09: Becquerelia (0-2-3) at Giant Zucchini (2-0-2)
MD10: Pastorville (2-0-2) at Becquerelia (0-2-3)
MD11: Green wombat (2-0-3) at Becquerelia (0-2-3)
MD12: Becquerelia (0-2-3) at Emporer Pudu (0-4-1)
MD13: Becquerelia (0-2-3) at Lovisa (3-1-0)
MD14: Androssa Se Mitrin Vega (2-1-1) at Becquerelia (0-2-3)
MD15: BYE
MD16: Becquerelia (0-2-3) at Georgeonia (1-1-3)
MD17: Becquerelia (0-2-3) at Tadjikstan (3-1-0)
MD18: Giant Zucchini (2-0-2) at Becquerelia (0-2-3)
Rejistania
09-03-2006, 21:32
R.I.P. Teke Daran

Today morning, Teke Daran, president of the ASR, was found dead in his house. Neighbors noted that he did not put the trash out and tried to ring and eventually opened the door. They found him in the toilet - dead. The police of Sike kali can not see any evidence for a crime of any sorts. It is assumed that he died in a stroke. In mourning, the Orange-Blues will play their next qualification match in black.
Syku "SyMji" Lyku will take over the presidential duties on provisional basis.


OOC: Teke Daran here stands for an RL person...
Wentland
09-03-2006, 21:34
Sir Stewart Wallace Poetry Vase - Semi-Final
Live from the Warplands, Warpstone
Extract 4: Bannon (Danefield) v Carette (Kelburn)

Category: Football

ALEXA MERRICK (commentator): With the scores level, Debbi Bannon has the stanza advantage going into the fourth folio. Can she make it count? Sport is not one of her stronger subjects, but she was impressive in the quarters on the Stellar racing team, so perhaps she will be able to make something of the subject.

B: Wentland's off to Shing-Shang
The Swifts are taking wing-wang
La la la la...
La la la la!

Ooh, the crowd like that, she's going for the semi-comic with subrhyme. Risky if Leon Carette can riposte in kind...

B: The fans will have a sing-sang
The players will wear their bling-blang
La la la la...
La la la la!

Popular with the crowd, but I think a penalty point is being applied because of the jewellery regulations so they will not be blinged to the max.

C: But football has a zing-zang
Results follow a yin-yang
We'll qualify
Or petrify

Brilliant, he's taken the coda and turned it into an extra dig...could be an extra point there...yes, it's given...major applause for that...

C: Bluff will choose a strong team
Let's hope it's not the wrong team
We need to score
Two, three or four

Weak initial faux rhyme but the artistic endeavour marks are not bad...coming from behind in this stanza Carette has done well...

B: I think we'll play attacking
As Shing-Shang have a lack in
Experience
It will be tense

Enjambement...very good...

C: But will we start with Okey?
It's something of a joke, he
Is quite random
And abandons

His defensive role too often
With tackles that are soft, an'
We're vulnerable
To this rabble

Ohhh, nearly a perfect score, with a transversal enjambement...only the weak final line letting him down there...and a bonus verse, what can Bannon do with that?

B: Defeat would be a nightmare
Would be a horrid sight where
A winless side
Would turn the tide

Not bad...there's the gong...but I think that this one's Carette's...yes, the officials have announced it as 8 for Bannon and 12 for Carette, putting him two-one up overall, with one draw...the points difference is slightly in his favour now and he has advantage of the next stanza...
Hypocria
09-03-2006, 21:37
I Fought the Law and the Law Lost



Clearly that rest following the defeat to Sarzonia worked wonders as in the next match the Hyppos produced one of their best performances for quite some time. Alex Santoro’s side went to Legalese and came away with all three points after an excellent 3 - 1 win. Hypocrium City attacker Carlo Molinari proved to be the catalyst, the young midfielder scored twice against the men in black and red and set up a third for Bercali. Much to the delight of his coach.

“We played some good stuff in the AOCAF but that was easily the best performance since I’ve been in charge. We looked controlled, confident and never once tried to throw the game away. We’ve taken three points from one of our main rivals in this group and that is hugely important. All in all this has been a very encouraging evening.”

Elsewhere in Group 4 Sarzonia are looking increasingly unstoppable, Vuam and Isma the latest nation to be brushed a side. In the battle of the minnows Revived Constantinople overcame Rorysville by a score of 2 - 0. And in a group that has already seen plenty of goals previously unconvincing Krytenia slaughtered Palacetonia by a whopping seven goals.



Consistent Inconsistency



It’s becoming something of a tradition. We simply cannot string two World Cup wins together. In Pylos’ Oceanside stadium, against debutants Vuam and Isma, the Hyppos were expected to walk it particularly after he performance in Legalese. But no. The home side did take the lead when Beck’s run into the box was beautifully picked out by Baxter and the Pylos Reavers’ midfielder headed firmly past O’Connor. And for a very long time that goal had looked enough. But no. A minute into second half stoppage time the visitors won a corner which S’baa headed against the bar. Grak ran on to the loose ball and fired it high into the roof of the net.

“I’m disappointed, of course I am.” The coach admitted. “But I always look at the positives and the fact is this is exactly the kind of match that in the past we would have very easily lost. We deserved a win today and even though we were denied that we’re still a point better off.”

Matchday 5 produced a further seventeen goals in Group 4. Six of those were scored by Sarzonia as the former world number 1s continue to dominate. There were also six goals when Krytenia met Rorysville, the Aces’ came through 4 - 2. And Palacetonia, who had previously looked utterly hopeless, did the Hyppos a huge favour by going to Lethislavania and actually winning.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Sarzonia 4 4 0 0 17 2 15 12
2 Krytenia 4 3 1 0 13 3 10 10
3 Lethislavania 4 2 1 1 10 6 4 7
4 Hypocria 4 2 1 1 7 6 1 7
5 Legalese 4 2 0 2 10 11 -1 6
6 Revived Constantinople 5 2 0 3 4 11 -7 6
7 Vuam and Isma 5 1 1 3 6 10 -4 4
8 Rorysville 5 1 0 4 6 11 -5 3
9 Palacetonia 5 1 0 4 4 17 -13 3


Next . . .


A nasty run of three away games face Hypocria next. A win in Revived Constantinople is a must with horrible looking trips to Krytenia and Lethislavania following it.


Qualification Schedule

Hypocria v Rorysville (Drissa Sports Arena, Drissa) (2 - 1)
Hypocria v Sarzonia (Hyppodrome, Hypocrium) (1 - 3)
Rest Day
Legalese v Hypocria (1 - 3)
Hypocria v Vuam and Isma (Oceanside Stadium, Pylos) (1 - 1)
Revived Constantinople v Hypocria
Krytenia v Hypocria
Lethislavania v Hypocria
Hypocria v Palacetonia (Hyppodrome, Hypocrium)
Rorysville v Hypocria
Sarzonia v Hypocria
Rest Day
Hypocria v Legalese (Hyppodrome, Hypocrium)
Vuam and Isma v Hypocria
Hypocria v Revived Constantinople (Drissa Sports Arena, Drissa)
Hypocria v Krytenia (Hyppodrome, Hypocrium)
Hypocria v Lethislavania (City of Hypocrium Stadium, Hypocrium)
Palacetonia v Hypocria
Haraki
09-03-2006, 21:40
The Hawks were back in Haraki for a while, what with the next matchday being their bye and their home game versus Atherlon United Football Club. Vargas had declined comment on the game against Spaam, calling it a fair matched fight. Strangely enough, the game had played out almost exactly the same as Haraki's Baptism of Fire final game against Allied Anime Worlds: Even throughout the whole game, with a late goal in the last ten minutes to tip the game against Haraki. Vargas promised to work on this weakness.

Still, in two games Haraki had sunk from second to sixth place, with two wins and now three losses to mar their record. Looking for support, the Harakians are looking forward to their game against Atherlon United, which was seen as an easy game for the Hawks, what with AU missing their keeper and several other key players. Following this game, the Hawks will host Priggdom, ranked 90 places behind Haraki in the world, and then host Starblaydia, with an undefeated record. They will reach the halfway mark in qualifying by facing Wentland on Matchday Nine, then start at the beginning of the rotation once again with a home game against East Lithuania.

Vargas, speaking on the team's chances for the rest of qualifying, had this to say: "Qualifying is only a quarter of the way through. Yes, we do still have to face the 1st-ranked and the 3rd ranked team twice, and the dread Oliverry again, but that's five games. If we can pull off some victories in other games, and hope for, say, Spaam and East Lithuania to make a bit of a comeback against the higher-ranked teams, if we could then beat them, we would have a significant chance. Even if we don't qualify, we'll have a good starting spot for the Cup of Harmony."

The Haraki Hawks play Atherlon United Football Club next matchday.





OOC: I don't expect either of the hosts to calculate the game for me. If you do feel like it, go ahead. If not, I'll just make it up myself. Thanks either way.
Becquerelia
09-03-2006, 21:49
The cabin of the plane traveling back from Andossa De Mitrin Vega was full of the sound of grumbling. It was understandable, not winning any football games would do that to a team.

Macarius Ransome came out from the cockpit of the plane. "Gentlemen!"

The chatter dimmed to nothingness.

"We'll be getting back to Roentgen pretty shortly. Since you've all been working hard, you'll be getting the next day off, and we'll get right back to practice the day after. Alright?"

"Alright," came the reply, not quite as a group, but everyone said it around the same time.

"Good." Ransome returned to his seat and pulled out some papers, probably reports on Georgeonia.

"Thank goodness for a break!" Ceolwulf Novoselic said to the fellow players in his row. "I'm going to go home and sleep the whole day."

"Sleep? God you're dull!" responded Zachariah Mendel. "I'm going out tonight and getting wasted!"

"After the way you've been playing, I wouldn't blame you." responded Ceolwulf jokingly.

The players in the row laughed.

"You know what? I'm going with you. I'm sure I'll have alot more fun getting drunk than anything else I could be doing." Issac Stahl said.

"Great!" exclaimed Zachariah. "Hey Mark, you want to come?" he asked Mark Latalien.

Mark shook his head. "I'd love too, but I already promised my girlfriend I'd do stuff with her tonight."

"You are so whipped Mark, you know that?" asked Ceolwulf, and the row started laughing again.

A few rows back, two players were huddled in silent conversation.

"I have this horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen during the break." said the first one.

The second gave the first player a blank stare. "Is this a premonition, or something your psychic told you?"

"Shush!" said the first, looking up and scanning the plane to see if anyone heard. "Besides, she's isn't 'my psychic'. Goodness Rainbold."

Rainbold Shiflett had the same look of disbelief on his face. "Right, right. But did the psychic say something bad was going to happen?"

The first player looked down, almost ashamed. "She said she felt foreboding."

"Why did she say that?"

"Mars."

"The planet?"

"Yes, the planet. That and a tarot reading."

Rainbold tsk-tsked the first player. "How much are you paying for this?"

"This is serious stuff, Rainbold! I know it! She's been right about everything so far!" Exclaimed the first player.

"Because she's been so vauge, you can interpret it to mean whatever you want. It's like Nostradamus. He didn't tell the future as much as he made a whole bunch of lyrical prediction like statements and forced everyone else to figure it out."

"I'm serious." said the first player. "You just watch, something bad is going to happen soon."

"No, you just watch, it's going to be completly quiet and nothing bad will happen." said Rainbold matter-of-factly. "You just watch."
Swilatia
09-03-2006, 22:06
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif
To keep track of matches in the World Cup as it only progresses further, we will now be showing Swilatia's Progress in the world cup at the end of all News alerts that are about a match in which Swilatia has played. It will also be shown at the end of this News Alert.

WCTracker
Key: Wins Losses Draws Byes
MD1 - Swilatia vs Bazalonia, 1-1, Rank 4
MD2 - Swilatia at Popolus, 3-0, Rank 3
MD3 - Swilatia at Rejistania, 0-4, Rank 5
MD4 - Swilatia vs The Archregimancy, 1-1, Rank 6
MD5 - Bye, Rank 7
MD6 - Swilatia at New Preussen
Krytenia
09-03-2006, 22:42
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
It Needn't Be Hell With Little Quinnell
by Rami Niblick in Bromham

SUBSTITUTE Josh Quinnell put in a scoring masterclass on his Aces debut as the home side left it late to roll over Rorysville. The four-two scoreline may have flattered Krytenia somewhat, but the second half performance was worthy of the victory.

It had all seemed so different in the first half. McGrath had put the visitors in front on just five minutes, capitalising on a rare mistake from Cameron Stevenson, and shocked the entire stadium by adding a second just a couple of minutes later through Bremner. It took a supreme contortion from Kennedy to score the volley that put the home side back in this game; too much, as it turned out, as he went off with a hamstring strain. He should be back for the next game; more of that later.

Josh Quinnell came on for Kennedy, and at the start of the second half, he got things going for his side. His pace immediately proved a lot for the Rorysville defence to deal with; Quinnell getting behind the full-back and laying it back for Jaffacake-Phillips to notch his fourth of the qualifiers. Quinnell himself got in a position to shoot from the edge of the area twice more; twice more, the visitors looked disorganised, and goals into each corner sealed the game.

Krytenia's next opponents need no introduction; the arrogant swagger, the seeming certainty with which their fans feel this game carries (if not the players), the deep navy blue kits; yup, it's thm pesky Sarzonians. For once, the Krytenians are coming into this game more in hope than expectation, and the weight of favouritism could get to the Stars. Here's hoping.

KRYTENIA - 4
Kennedy 43
Jaffacake-Phillips 48
Quinnell 69, 80

RORYSVILLE - 2
McGrath 5
Bremner 7

SCORERS:
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 4 (+1 Cafetiere Cup, one hat-trick)
G. Kennedy - 4
J. Quinnell - 2
T. Aspell - 1
A. Pedroso - 1
R. Sauvage - 1

FIXTURES:
MD01: H v RCO W 1-0 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
CAF1: A v FMJ L 1-2
MD03: H v LTH D 1-1 (Walton Gardens, Simpson)
MD04: A v PAL W 7-0
MD05: H v RVL W 4-2 (Midland Stadium, Bromham)
MD06: H v SRZ ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD07: H v HYP ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD08: A v LGL ?????
MD09: H v VAI ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: A v RCO ?????
CAF2: H v FMJ ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD12: A v LTH ?????
MD13: H v PAL ????? (Lays Road Ground, Leston)
MD14: A v RVL ?????
MD15: A v SRZ ?????
MD16: A v HYP ?????
MD17: H v LGL ????? (Oxley Park, Everton City)
MD18: A v VAI ?????
Sarzonia
09-03-2006, 23:29
Portland Press-Herald
Stars lash out at Krytie media

by Candace Nathan
Press Herald Staff Writer

EVERTON CITY, Krytenia (9 March 2006) -- Some players and coaches among the Sarzonian national football team assembled here to play their World Cup qualifying match against Krytenia considered comments by THSD News writer Rami Niblick anything from ill-timed to a "pathetic attempt to create a rivalry."

"Making those comments so close to kickoff is not something I'd consider a wise move," Coach Dave Wilson said in his strongest comments about the Krytenian media report. "They'll certainly be on the locker room wall before kickoff. That'll probably motivate the lads to play even better than they would otherwise."

Not that the Stars need any motivation. Playing the second highest-rated side and a rival nation in the ideologically opposed Strategic Alliance of Autocratic States provides plenty of motivation for a Sarzonia side that has played some of its best football in World Cup qualifying since they finished World Cup XXIII qualifying with a 13-1-0 record. They also have the away match against a hostile crowd that figures to be into the match from the outset.

Now, the Stars have the remarks by a Krytie writer who, according to midfielder Jenna Raven, "would have flunked Journalism For Dummies, much less Journalism 101. That was a pathetic attempt on his part to create a rivalry where none exists," Raven said. "Arrogant? Where the [expletive] does he get that mess? Has he even met any of our players? Of course, now we wouldn't want to meet him without a set of brass knuckles."

"He should be glad we're not Xile," forward and team captain Kevin Wilson said. "Otherwise, he might find himself facing the same fate as [late Krytenian colour commentator] John Nwoko. All I'm going to say is he'd better watch his back." Nwoko was killed by Xilian assassins after mocking the Xile Bullet Wounds' kits.

The Stars' match against Krytenia will be shown on SBC at 6:30 p.m. Sarzonian Standard Time. Plans to hold a viewing party at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock were cancelled, but the Iron Bowl viewing party is expected to go on as scheduled. Acting Portland Iron Works managing director and former Sarzonian navy commodore Jamie Wilson is expected to attend the viewing party.

Tickets for the Stars-Nedalian all star team friendly go on sale Saturday at 10 a.m. The Sarzonian Under 21 national team is also working to arrange a benefit friendly match at the Iron Bowl. Any interested teams should contact IFF Chairman Dave Wilson [OOC: Via TG. If someone wants to scorinate that match, they can also TG me to that effect].
Krytenia
10-03-2006, 00:25
[OOC: All in good fun this; no offence intended. IMO, Kry v Sarz bears a lot of similarity to ENG v GER; one side sees it as a life-or-death rivalry; the other as a challenging game and nothing more.]

www.thsdnews.kt
RAMI ONLINE

The Sarzonian press today, alas, appear to have finally disappeared up their own backsides. Maybe they should try reading an article fully before going to the presses.

Firstly, there seems to be a lot of uproar regarding the arrogance of the players; I went out of the way to indicate that was the feeling of the Sarzonian fans; I've certainly seen this as the case amonsgt the visiting fans milling around Everton City. Secondly, bringing poor John Nwoko into this was a little over the line. Nwoko's comment was a piece of dry humour about a team's choice of kit colour; even people in Xile agree the events that followed were somewhat of an overreaction. And finally, there is no need to "build up" a rivalry in Krytenia; aside from Starblaydia, the Sarzonians are seen as the Aces' greatest on-field adversaries.

Certainly, the Portland Press-Herald's comments will be prevalent on the wall of the Aces' dressing room; somrthing along the lines of "ooh look, they're needled." Stick to what you know, guys.

This is Rami Niblick, logging off. Goodnight webcrawlers.
Rejistania
10-03-2006, 00:53
They don't live up to the name

The Footie Dream Team failed to live up the great expectations, their fans had when they were defeated highly by the Rejistanian national team. The Orange-Blues defeated the Footie Dream Team by a 3:0 scoreline in the Estadije Ines Karela Lines.

The Footie Dream team fielded a strategic 4-4-2 formation. The Orange-Blues decided for their mildly karelan 5-4-1. The Footie Dream Team had several chances in the beginning of the match, but the rejistanian defense has a reason for their reputation and so none became dangerous to goalie Jeri Kis. The Orange-Blues used the occasional counter, but the defense of the Footie Dream Team and the frame kept the score levelled. In the 16th minute, the rejistanian striker Haraira Tamak~hi, who started instead of I Hetaki'he, was able to break the curse: The Hetkalian was able to shoot the ball past the Footie Dream Team Goalie Oliver Kahn. 1:0 was the score. "Maniac" (coach Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile) at this time made some gestures, which did not raise his popularity on the Footie Dream Team side. The Orange-Blues did not fall back into total karela, but kept on searching chances. "Maniac" was pleased with how the team started to forget their karelan brainwashing. He shouted things like "Itera'iln!" or "Raju! Raju al!" at the team. But despite their attacks, the score was 1:0 at halftime.
In the second half, "maniac" made some substitutions: Vaka Iuliana played instead of Kansu Lanja and Manatha~e Hihtaka~o, who had surely not his best match was replaced by Jenji Karu. This changes improved the way the Rejistanians played. Hihtaka~o'he's subpar performance caused some dangerous situations, Jenji Karu however showed that there is a reason why she made it into the national team. In the 50th minute, Isi I Mji~l and the striker Haraira Tamak~hi advanced for another attack. The shoot of the striker from Hetkali only hot the framework, but I Mji~l was able to reflect the rebound past Kahn'he. Diego Maradonna nearly scored the 2:1 in the 56th minute, but the krytenian referee Phillip Korda noted he used his hand. No goal for the Footie Dream Team and shouts that he should get new glasses from their fans. In the 79th minute, the Orange-Blues increased the score in a counter-attack. Sinimene Janjal scored for the Orange-Blues. The match ended 3:0 for Rejistania.

The Karelan priests were very unlucky with this result and charged the ASR quite an amount of lil'kansu'ny (lil'kansu is the rejistanian currency) to clear the venue of the takilness.
Krytenia
10-03-2006, 00:59
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
A Right Neas Up
by Bill Tulos in Everton City

PHILLIP Neasden has been named as the new manager of Krytenia. The former striker, forty-seven, takes on the role as his first managerial outing of any kind, and will take charge for the first time for the game against Hypocria. Current management team Edward Johnson and Ian Valacci will move down to joint assistant coaches in a five-strong support staff.

"I'm looking forward to taking charge of the nation I've scored for so many times," Neasden gushed at the official press conference, "let's hope I start off on a good foot and with three points from our next game." Neasden cracked a smile at this point and added, "Who are we playing again?"

Many in the game have criticised the timing of this announcement, with the team on fragile form, but this reporter believes he's the strong personality this team needs for the long road ahead.
New Montreal States
10-03-2006, 01:23
INCONSISTANCY SOLE CONSTANT

Paladins pick up the pace against CR Oscilioscopes

NEW MONTREAL - The Paladins, back at the Paladin Dome, returned to top form last night with a 3-0 victory over tournament newcomers CR Oscilioscopes.

William Branstone, after the match, was heard to express dismay at the Paladins inability to perform on the road. "We can't be a home-only team, especially this Cup. We've a long way to go."

The game itself was a strong performance by the Paladins, whose midfield returned to top form before 92,701 fans in New Montreal. Andy Gordon seized a 1-0 advantage in the first half, capping off a dramatic drive deep into Osciliscopian territory. The half ended at that score with the Paladins failing to convert on a last-minute drive. Gilles Villeneuve kicked off the second half in true dramatic style, curving a ball past a totally unprepared CR keeper after 27 seconds and bringing the house to its feet. That was the last burst of excitement he generated all night, as the Paladins fell back to defend for most of the half.

Villeneuve's fellow forward, the talented but oft-overlooked Hubert Labranche, connected on a counter-attack towards the end of the second half for the final goal. The Paladins play World number 14 Jeruselem at the Paladin Dome in the next match, which promises to be an exciting match between two teams poised to break onto the world stage.

PALADINS 3 - Gordon 23, Villeneuve 45, Labranche 84
CR OSCILLIOSCOPES 0 - None

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 3
Gordon 1
Labranche 1
Pilon 1
Fmjphoenix
10-03-2006, 03:17
Scores can be found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10553648#post10553648).
Sarzonia
10-03-2006, 05:04
Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars take command, 1-0

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Staff Writer

Everton City, Krytenia (9 March 2006) -- Unlike the first four matches of World Cup qualifying, Sarzonia's match against host Krytenia went down to the final seconds with the outcome very much in doubt. However, Sarzonia came out ahead courtesy of the right boot of substitute midfielder Jenna Raven and Sarzonia defeated Krytenia 1-0 in front of a disappointed crowd at Isserson Stadium in Everton City.

For the first time in this World Cup qualifying campaign, Sarzonia trudged into the halftime locker room scoreless, but their defence withstood intense pressure from an Aces team that was clearly motivated to avenge comments by key Stars players. However, it was the Stars who charged out of the locker room inspired to play football.

"This team is supremely motivated," Stars Coach Dave Wilson said. "We were determined to earn the full three points against a quality side in a contentious away match and we did all that. We've still got a ways to go, but this is definitely a quality win."

Sarzonia (5-0-0) are five points clear of both Krytenia and Lethislavania in the group many observers are wont to describe as the Group of Death. While this win wasn't the dominating tour de force that wins against Legalese or Revived Constantinople, but an away win against a quality side is an away win against a quality side, according to forward Kevin Wilson.

"All wins count the same in the tables," he said. "But beating Krytenia away certainly means something compared to a home win against Revived Constantinople, no disrespect to Revived Constantinople, of course."

For Sarzonia, the win against Krytenia continues a nearly lifelong dominance of the Aces, started with the third place match of the first-ever AOCAF tournament. Eleven tournaments later, the Aces still haven't passed the Sarzonia test. Meanwhile, the Stars (5-0-0, 15 points) return to Woodstock to host former regional neighbours Lethislavania.

"We're not going to let up a bit," Raven said. "We can't in this group."
The Archregimancy
10-03-2006, 05:27
THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"So... Fr. John... The Footie Dream Team...."

"You mean the Footie Nightmare, Fr. Nicholas?"

"Why? They didn't upset us, did they?"

"Oh no, absolutely not - God be praised - it's just my way of belabouring the point that they're really not very good."

"And just how bad were they, Fr. John?"

"Well, let's take a look at the match....

"Things were already off to a bad start when it was revealed that Fr. Michael the New Hermit had indeed started boycotting Lenten matches - or at least those not involving atheists, crusaders, or virgin-sacrificing karelans - forcing the squad to give Solovetsky monastery's Fr. Nicholas the Twice-Blessed a rare start at left back.

Things went from bad to worse when Fr. Basil the Faster collapsed in the pre-match warm-up. Seems that his Lenten fast has consisted of eating nothing but grass and drinking nothing but water. Which might be fine for monk living a life of quiet contemplation back in the Archregimancy, but doesn't perhaps suit an international athlete competing in ordinary reality. So coach Kyrill, Metropolitan of Solovetsky, was forced to bench Fr. Basil and chose to start Fr. Pavel the New Slav.

And that disruption perhaps explains how the Footie Dreamers were able to take the lead. And a more embarrassing start to the match would have been hard to imagine.... kick off, dribble down the centre, long shot, Fr. Justinian still arranging his icons in the goal net, and 1-0 to the opposition. Oh dear.

But after a quick round of pre-restart prayer, the lads clawed their way back into the match. The two Fr. Pavels were working surprisingly well down the right, and in the 18th minute, the Wanderer stroked this wonderful through ball to the New Slav, and the latter had no problem slotting it past the 'keeper. 1-1. I believe that Fr. Pavel the New Slav was named after the Martyr Paul, who is commemorated with those with him at Corinth on this day - so a happy namesday and 'many years' to Fr. Pavel from all of us here at World Cup tonight!

Still, despite renewed determination and near-total domination after the first minute mishap, it was still 1-1 at half-time.

But our God-fearing monks weren't to be denied in the second half, and in the 48th minute, Fr. Silouan - and what would we do without him? - added this blessed goal to his tally. A magnificent dribble through the defence, and a simple tap-in after rounding the 'keeper.

Controversy hit the match in the 76th minute when Fr. Silouan was tripped on the edge of the area. The referee immediately awarded a penalty, but Fr. Silouan and team captain Fr. David the Water-Drinker insisted - as was their Christian duty - that the offence had happened outside the area. The referee changed his ruling, awarded a direct free-kick just outside the area, and Fr. Constantine the Learned sent in one of his trademark free-kicks. 3-1.

So despite that first minute hiccough and all of the disruption caused by changing two starters, all fairly straightforward in the end."

"What about other matches, Fr. John?"

"Well, Fr. Nicholas, the most important result there must surely be Praying2God 1-2 Rejistania. A good result for the Orange-Blues, and the heretical Warriors are suddenly looking like they're having a wobble. Isn't that two losses in a row now? Popolus 2-2 Rordia is mainly of interest for keeping Rordia in touch with the top two - but after their strong start to the season, they'll surely be disappointed with that result. Finally, New Preussen 1-2 Swilatia had the atheists defeating the crusaders."

"What about the group table?"

"Perhaps you'd like to introduce that, Fr. Nicholas?"

"Certainly, Fr. John. Incredibly, miraculously, after six matchdays and five matches, the undefeated leaders of group 6 are....

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 The Archregimancy 5 3 2 0 14 4 10 11
2 Rejistania 5 3 1 1 10 3 7 10
3 Rordia 5 3 1 1 8 5 3 10
4 Swilatia 5 2 2 1 7 7 0 8
5 Popolus 6 2 2 2 7 10 -3 8
6 Praying2God 5 2 1 2 8 7 1 7
7 New Preussen 6 2 0 4 5 12 -7 6
8 The Footie Dream Team 6 1 1 4 2 9 -7 4
9 Bazalonia 5 0 2 3 4 8 -4 2

Here's hoping the Lord continues to sanctify our success this Lenten season...
Milchama
10-03-2006, 05:30
Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-News-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama FINALLY do as expected

The Warriors played some lower ranked opposition which of course means we should either draw or lose somehow. Somehow though the newly determined dominated from start to finish and beat the boys from Valertinette 4-0. Coach Jamie Smith said, "I guaranteed a win today and we got it. Next we play Vilita and with this our best performance in qualifying so far we peaked at the right time and I think we will definitely get the point against Vilita if not the full three. That's right I think we could beat the mighty Vilita." With that he left the podium and with that comment we move to the match report:

The Warriors came out determined to win and it showed early as Floren scored 8 seconds into the match as a long ball by Copperlee was easily kicked in by Floren. Then in the 3rd minute the Warriors scored again as Floren found Spot Nielson in the penalty area. Nielson's sharp kick gave the Warriors a quick 2-0. The lead was put to 3-0 in the 10th minute as J.J. Faren's excellent corner gave Mills Thompson a wonderful chance to head it in and he did to give the Warriors a 3-0 lead after 10 minutes. The lead went to 4-0 after 19 minutes when Sanchez got his first goal of the tournament on a perfect free kick from right outside the box. After the 4th goal the Warriors went back and just played around for the next 70 minutes as they ended up getting over 75% of the possesion in the game. They probably could have scored more goals but they seemed satisfied with 4 and according to team captain Dunston Copperlee they wanted to save themselves for "More important matches down the road." The second half was pretty much uneventful as the Warriors kept the ball in midfield and passed it around and around and around and around and around and around and around again.
Final Score:
Milchama 4 (Floren 1, Nielson 3, Thompson 10, Sanchez 19)
Valertinette 0
The Kazoo Peoples
10-03-2006, 05:31
The Kazoos marched onward earlier today, as they took their match 2-0 against The New Chakovnia.

We don't know if there ever was an old Chakovnia, but if there was at one point or another, we hope they played better football than what we saw today in The New Chakovnia. It became immediately evident as soon as the Kazoos stepped on the turf of the stadium in which the match between the Kazoos and the Chakovnians(?) would be played.

The modest stadium of 8,000 capacity was in need of repair: as one fan took his seat, one could hear a loud noise, followed by a string of curse words. The loud noise was the breaking of the wooden chair. The New Chakovnia stadium now seats 7,999, we guess. The turf was heavily damaged from pests and underground animal holes, but the referee allowed the match to proceed anyway, saying, "Eh, good enough." The match had to be played in the 104-degree heat because the stadium did not have lights that would allow for a nighttime game.

And that was only the stadium. The football team was as, if not worse than that.

The Kazoos really didn't take the first half seriously, but still managed to hold The New Chakovnia's players to only one shot. The one shot was taken after Kevlar Shafur fainted due to combination of the sweltering heat and the lack of hydration (did we mention that The New Chakovnia's water is unpotable?). The shot was waaay wide, and it sailed into the stands. The whistle blew, the score still at zero.

The Kazoos, just waiting for the match to end, came out of halftime, and with the attitude of "let's get the hell out of here," proceeded to whoop The New Chakovnia, scoring two goals at minute 48 and 49, by Chadd Johnson and Rudy Johnson, respectively.

At this point, Head Coach Manni Aka benched most of his starters, and sent out his worst set of players. Many of the starters decided to head for the team plane (conveniently located, as the dirt runway sat right next to the pitch), and wait in there, as it had air conditioning (which, apparently hadn't been invented yet in the barren wasteland of The New Chakovnia).

The second shot by The New Chakovnia was on target, but the shot was so far away from the goal (about midfield, actually) that the Kazoo goalkeeper literally walked over to the ball, and swatted it out of the air.

It was minute 81, and the match began to wind down. The silent crowd, due mostly to the fact that there was really nothing to cheer about, sat in the hot sun.

Then, all of a sudden, everyone hears in the stadium a sound of slowly escaping air. Upon investigation, it is found that the sun had melted a small hole in the football. The torn and battered football had deflated mildly, and as it was minute 87, the referee decided to not attempt to find another football (maybe because that was the only football in the entire country), and called the match a win for the Kazoos, 2-0.

"Damn, it's so hot," said forward Jonny Lampshade, taking a sip from a quart-size cardboard container of milk. "Milk was a bad choice," he added.

Upon seeing the impoverished nation, Manni Aka wrote a check for K$50,000. He then boarded the team jet, and took off.


Matchday 6, by the numbers:

Approximately 14% of the crowd suffered heat-related injuries that required medical attention.

Approximately 78% of the crowd suffered a sunburn.

Approximately 22% of the crowd used sunscreen.

84 - Average SPF of said sunscreen.

Group 2
Bettia 3-2 Total n Utter Insanity
The New Chakovnia 1-2 The Kazoo Peoples
Algal states 1-2 Nanakaland
Risa-Aramour 1-1 The Weegies

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bettia 5 5 0 0 17 6 11 15
2 Total n Utter Insanity 5 4 0 1 13 3 10 12
3 Nanakaland 5 4 0 1 9 7 2 12
4 Algal states 6 3 0 3 11 11 0 9
5 The Kazoo Peoples 5 3 0 2 7 7 0 9
6 Risa-Aramour 6 1 2 3 3 9 -6 5
7 The Weegies 5 1 1 3 5 8 -3 4
8 Tynelia 5 1 1 3 2 5 -3 4
9 The New Chakovnia 6 0 0 6 5 16 -11 0

The New Chakovnia still sits in the cellar, sporting an amazing -11 goal difference. Bettia won over Total n Utter Insanity, keeping their undefeated streak alive. Nanakaland is tied for points with Total n Utter Insantiy. The Algal states only outpace The Kazoo Peoples in total goals scored. The Kazoos should pass Algal states soon, as Algal states will have an off day soon.

The Kazoos travel to Bettia, home of the current group 2 leaders, to face off against in what will most likely be a great battle.

PROGRESS IN WORLD CUP 27 (3-0-3):
MD1: loss to Algal states 3-1, home
MD2: loss to Total n Utter Insanity 2-0, home
MD3: loss to Milchama (friendly) 4-2, home
MD4: win over The Weegies 2-1, away
MD5: win over Risa-Aramour 2-0, home
MD6: win over The New Chakovnia 2-0, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: Lowland Clans, TBD (friendly)
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
10-03-2006, 05:53
Sea Dragons On Cruise Control

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network.

The easier part of the Sea Dragons 1st half schedule came to an end today in Georgeonia as ASMV came away with a 2-1 victory. Those three points were well needed considering the next four matches to come. But we will cover that in a minute.

The match today saw the Sea Dragons take command with a goal in just the 3rd minute of play. MalachI James found a streaking Pablo Iglesias, who recieveed the pass very, very close to being offsides. But the play continued and Iglesias made quick work of the Georgeonia keeper.

Then the defense settled in to its physical style and the remainder of the first half saw Georgeonia fail to effectively do anything besides seek out the trainer for ice packs. The second half started with the same flurry for the Sea Dragons. This time James found Evan Evans inside the Georgeonia box and Evan nearly scored the goal himself. But great defensive play sent the ball out wide. Porche Alexander was the one who found it. And on what was essentially a corner kick, she curled the ball over the keeper and into the top of the net. Score now 2-0 in favor of the Sea Dragons.

The defense once again stepped up to the challenge, holding the attack to nearly nothing. It was the 74th minute when ASMV RB Micah Swift made an incredibly hard tackle that earned him a red card. It was on the penalty that Conarky guessed wrong, and Georgeonia scored their only goal. Selena Felice will replace Swift in the starting line-up against Tadjikistan.

In other Group 11 news Lovisa downed Tadjikistan 2-1 to take control of the group. The loss put the Tigers on even terms with the Sea Dragons as the two teams face each other in the next match. Needless to say it has become very important to both sides.

Emperor Pudu pulled the surprise of the day as they edged out the Zucchinis 2-1. And Pastorville slid past Green Wombat 2-1. That leaves the Saints just a point behind ASMV and Tadjikistan on the table.

The next 4 matches will decide a lot for ASMV. Away to Tadjikistan, home for Giant Zucchini and then Pastorville, and ending up in Green Wombat. This will tell the real story of the Sea Dragons.
Dorian and Sonya
10-03-2006, 05:55
Unicorns Try Hard But Still Look Like Ponies

Queen Sonya Sabre sat in the Royal box in Elanesse Tulcokelume to watch her young Unicorn squad play their match against Elrich. Everyone knew better than to expect another miracle like the one that took place in Vilita, but they hoped to at least look respectable.

That was not to happen as planned. Elrich took control of the match early and never looked back as they roared to a 4-0 lead. All sign pointed to a clean sheet for Elrich. But Elrich forgot that the Unicorns were still playing in this match and in the 89th minute, the Mystical Unicorns gave them a slight reminder.

A fantastic play by Nienna Palantír cleared a long cross in front of the Unicorn net that should have been an easy 5th goal for Elrich. Instead the ball ended up on the feet of Alassea Ancalímon who quickly pushed it forward to Nátulcien Eluch`div` in the middle of the field beginning the only counter-attack the Unicorns managed all match. Eluch`div` found Merenwen Súrion in the Elrich box, but it looked as if the attempt would be immediately cleared. But a fakey shot put the Elrich keeper out of position as the pass that followed found Altáriël Telperiën completely alone on the left side of the net. A slight touch forward and the Unicorns had scored. Goodbye cleean sheet for Elrich. “GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!” and deafening cheers were all that could be heard as the match came to an end. None of the fans cared about the loss. They had seen their girls play and that was enough.

Next up for the Mystical Unicorns comes a very interesting match. Hiiraan is the name on the schedule. But as Hiiraan has recently CTE’d no one here is sure as to what will actually take place. Rest assured that the girls from Dorian and Sonya will be ready to play hard and see what they can accomplish.
Qazox
10-03-2006, 05:56
QAZOX CITY HERALD

Qazox lost once again at home today 1-0 to Tanah Burung bringing thier home record so far in the cup to 1-0-3. Since there ar only 4 more home matches left, this does not bode well for Qazox' chances to advance into WC 27. The only goal of the match was scored in the 67th minuter by Tanah Burung's forward Margarita Christsdaughter. The match was played in front of only 42,000 as the new season of Survivor:The Moon started the same night. Qazox has a bye date tommorrow, but will play vs. Graverville in an exhibition match starting at 4pm at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Tickets are Z20 each and all proceeds will go to charity.

Qazox's Qualifing Schedule

Match Day One--@ Elrich LOST 0-3
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran LOST 0-1 at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Attendence: 17,000
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya WON 2-0 at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Attendence: 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendence: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama WON 4-2
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendance: 42,000.
Match Day Seven--Exhibition vs. Graverville(QFL Champion) at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.

Match Day 6 scores and Standings:
Group 3
Vilita 2-1 Eauz
Valertinette 0-4 Milchama
Dorian and Sonya 1-4 Elrich
Qazox 0-1 Tanah Burung



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Eauz 5 4 0 1 14 2 12 12
2 Vilita 5 4 0 1 11 3 8 12
3 Elrich 5 3 1 1 10 6 4 10
4 Milchama 5 2 1 2 10 11 -1 7
5 Dorian and Sonya 6 2 1 3 6 11 -5 7
6 Qazox 6 2 0 4 6 8 -2 6
7 Tanah Burung 5 2 0 3 5 9 -4 6
8 Hiiraan 5 1 2 2 2 4 -2 5
9 Valertinette 6 1 1 4 2 12 -10 4
Green wombat
10-03-2006, 06:12
GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS
Just like Tic-Tac-Toe We Lose Three In a Row

Green wombat just can't find a way to win lately, only lose, as they lost to Pastorville 2-1. New keeper 'Saving' Pvt. Ryan didnot do much of his nickname as the only 2 shots on goal for Pastorville went in. In the 14th minute, Reverend Harris blasted a free kick past Pvt. Ryan. the rest of the half saw both sides trading possessions, but not much action around the goal. in the second half, Reverend Harris scored his 2nd goal of the match after a handball was called in the 55th minute. the ensuing PK went just past the outstreached hands of Pvt. Ryan, making it 2-0. 5 minutes later 2nd Lt. Daniels scored on a header after a Ensign Graves cornerkick to cut the deficit to 2-1, but Reverend Smith of Pastorville kept his head and allowed no more shots to go by.

This loss now leaves Green Wombat with a record of 2-0-4 and in 7th place. With 6 of the last 10 matches being played on the road, it does not look good for Green Wombat to advance, but stranger things have happened, and we Won 3rd place in the Bof, despite finishing 3rd in our group.
[NS]Bazalonia
10-03-2006, 06:19
Press Conference - BFSA President

"Thank you all for coming here today. The Bazalopes had a bye this matchday but I want to make a couple of important announcements. First we would like to reveal our new kits. These Kits where designed JMC, now let's bring out our firsst models the captain and midfielder Benjamin "Benny Boy" Peters and Forward James Kantwell."

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/BAZ.png

Benny Boy and James came out and strutted their stuff... You can see that they really liked their new kits.

"These are the Home kits and now the away kits. Andrew "The Bandit" Creek and his Brother Anthony Creek."

Andrew and Anthony come out and join with James and Beeny Boy. They there are standing together poising for the cameras.

"We'd also like to thank Ediraf and Itera for providing designs for our team however after some discussion we went with the JMC kits."

James Gaines paused as the flashes from the photos being taken slowed down and eventually stopped.

"And onto the second reason why we are, is unfortunately not as good as this. We have decided that Caine Hawdon and his Assistant coaches are not doing a good job. As once again the Bazalopes are languishing at the bottom of the ladder. We are using the opportunity of the Bye change coaches. Yes Caine Hawdon, Malcolm Frost and Jayne Hearty have all been fired. We have made a deal with Neil Kabants, he will take over the Coaching position of the Bazalopes."

Neil Kabants walked in with and shook the hand of the four players on the stage.. A few flashes went as the photo's of Neil and the players came from the press.

"You might be wanting to know about Neil. Well, he's a Collonie national but lead the Milchamian national team for a number of years as well as his team to victory in the milchamian national league. Thank you for coming that is where we are going to have to leave it."

................

BFP, Net Crimes Building

"So what do you have, Stan?" (Luke)

"Not much unfortunately, I have been going through records of other net crimes and I can't get the same MO." (Stan)

"Well, Cuation did offer help. We'll see if they do have a potential lead."
Qazox
10-03-2006, 07:02
Kyle Cartman waited for Mr. X to come back, having made the decision to sacrifice his honor, to find out what happend to his brother. As he paced the cell, he heard a weird rumbling sound from underneath. "Is that an earthquake or something else?" he wondered as the rumbling grew louder. With a loud crash, the bottom of his cell broke open and a tunneling machine pocked through. As Kyle stood there protecting himself from the spinning debris, a hatch opened on the machine and a figure started to come out.

KC: What the......but, but, but you're dead. I killed you myself! How the Hell are you alive?

Generallisimo Uarez: Huh... I thought you'd say that. Rememer 0007, that Green Wombat invented cloning and that was only a clone of myself you killed in Rejistania. Now if you don't mind, I've come here to save you, despite our past history.

KC: Why should i trust you? You killed my Brother's wife at Keith's wedding and almost killed him as well!

GU: Your sister-in-law is not dead. In fact she was my most trusted Lieutenant, until she betrayed me. I know who Mr. X is, but I don't think you could handle the truth.

Just then Mr. X opened the door, and was shocked to see not only Kyle Cartman, but Generallisimo Uarez as well

MRX: Well, now, looks like the gang's all here. So Dinero Uarez, we finally meet. I trust you know Agent 382638, a.k.a. Lt Latias. It must be a shame that your most trusted Lt has joined me.

GU: So, I know the truth about you and what you are planning to do. I cannot allow it, even though i have no love lost for Qazox, but even your insidious plan is taking it too far. As much as I hate his freaking guts, 0007 is coming with me.

KC: Hold a sec there, Uarez. I'm not going anywhere unless someone tells me what the OX is going on!!

MRX: I'm going to keep my promise to you Mr Cartman, but once you find out, you must promise me that you'll keep you end of the bargain.

GU: What bargain?

MRX: He's going to give me the Tynelian Crystals he took last year in exchange for info about his brother.

GU: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-Ha. You're a fool, do you really think he'll do that? Knowing 0007, he'll just take you to a place, give you fake crystals and escape after your precious Anti-Time Chamber explodes. And I do know your secret after all. Do you want to tell him or should I....Keith Cartman???

(ooc- IF you want to know the back story check out the beginning of the BoF RP thread Here:http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=468643&page=1 Just look for Qazox's and Green Wombat's posts)
Atheistic Right
10-03-2006, 07:29
The Atheistic Right match against Collonie was a hard match Collonie seemed to dominate but no team managed to score for the first half, A couple of close attempts where made by Misterson but it seemed that the Archeopteri closed him down.

The 2nd half seemed to go just the same, Scorpion had a few chances in the second half but the first attempted was trapped by the defense and the other onw went way over the top of the bar. Then the 89th minute came, Snake was running through the midfield and he made a fatal ball handling error he passed it directly to a Collonie midfielder that quickly passed it on to Misterson who scored seconds later. The quick turn around, a staple of Scorpions attacks was turned against Archepteri.

...........

Lion was in his office, he was dissappointed by the lack of scoring but not too disppointed at the result. It was just about what he expected. Something else was on his mind... Cuation. They had made an offer to help with the BFP's investigation of the Soccer World incident. Bazalonia alone he had no qualms about their cances but Cuation as well, they could just get lucky and get a break though. Lion would have to think about what he'd do. He could donate time to this since the next Matchday the Archeopteri had a bye. Then Lion had a thought would the BFP get Cuation's help on this? He had looked over back press releases and media right back to Bazalonia's Baptism of Fire and it seemed that there was no love lost between the two of them.

Well he had times to make plans.
Becquerelia
10-03-2006, 07:57
1:17 PM

-ring!-

-ring!-

Assistant Coach John Meurer, who had been blissfully asleep just seconds before, rose a groggy hand to the light next to the bed, turned it on, then reached for the phone, completly prepared to yell at whoever had woken him up.

"John! It's Alexander! Turn on the TV!" John recognized the voice of his fellow Assistant Coach Alexander Helmcamp, and he sounded...what was it, it's too early for this...excited?

Still groggy, John barely got out "...which channel?"

"Any main Becquerelian channel, just turn it on!" Alexander wasn't excited, he was more...frantic?

John, now feeling the first pangs of panic, rustled for the remote and turned on the television.

-click!-"...-ase has lasted over a half hour now. In case you've just joined us, you're looking at live coverage, via helicopter, of a police chase occuring now in Roentgen."

How right the anchor was. The car was a white coupe or something, fairly recent, though not new. And it was being chased by several of Roentgen's men in uniform. John was about to ask why Alexander woke him up for this, when the anchor answered the question for him.

"The driver of the car has been confirmed as Zachariah Mendel, midfielder for the Becquerelian National Football Team!" A picture, from the National Team's media day earlier popped up on the screen.

John dropped the phone, cursed, and said very clearly, "You have got to be joking."

"While this sounds like a joke, this isn't." the anchor said on the television, with a nervous titter. "It has been confirmed that Alexander Helmcamp is the driver of the vehicle currently being followed."

"Here's what we know so far," said the anchor, as though he was directly talking to a very shocked John Meurer. "at 12:45 PM, Police spotted this vehicle going almost 80 miles-per-hour in downtown Roentgen, and swerving as though the driver was drunk. Police followed the car, put their lights on
or it to stop, and the driver ignored them and continued on. At about the same time, a report of a bar fight in downtown Roentgen, along with a stolen vehicle came to Roentgen Police. They responded on the scene, and arrested several people, including fellow National Teammate Issac Stahl, for attacking the police."

The picture on the television split in two, with one side the chase, the other of a obviously drunk and fighting Issac Stahl being drug into a police car. John cursed again.

"As police would piece together, the fight started when a patron of the bar insulted Mendel and Stahl over the National Team's recent performance. During the brawl, after the police were called, Mendel rushed outside and stole a vehicle, possibly to avoid arrest. And that's where we stand at
this moment..."

John swore a third time. Then a fourth, then in a string of profanity. He suddenly remembered the phone and picked it up. Not surprisingly, Alexander had hung up. John quickly called him back.

"Have you told Macarius yet?" asked John immediatly after Alexander picked up.

"No. He's going to be a mess when he hears."

"How do you think I feel? What about Zachariah and Issac?"

Alexander thought for a second. "Dunno. We might, big might here, be able to bail Issac out of jail, though he's going to have a court case, a couple of charges, and he'll surely get kicked of the team. And Zachariah..."

John turned to the TV during the pause and watched the car on the screen run up against the guard rail in the opposing lane and shoot off sparks. "Zachariah's in a heap of trouble. The sky's the limit."

And at that moment the car made a sharp right, then a sharp left, and started flipping.

-

Head Coach Macarius Ransome was informed shortly after, in which he yelled a lot, threw a chair through a window, and then collapsed in a dead faint. As he was taken the nearest hospital, coincidentally where Zachariah was being held with minor yet serious injuries and a police guard, John and Alexander talked with their superiors about punishment.

It wasn't as if they had a very good defense for the two of them, so they could do nothing but agree that Zachariah Mendel and Issac Stahl were off the Becquerelian National Football Team indefinitely.

As best John and Alexander could figure, there was a slight chance Issac could return in the future, following his court apperance, punishment, and a significant suspension. As for Zachariah, (and his Grand Theft Auto, Resisting Arrest, Drunken Disconduct, Speeding, Reckless Endangerment,
Driving While Intoxicated, several varieties of Assault charges, plus what appeared to be a couple upcoming lawsuits coming from patrons injured in the bar fight) he'd be lucky to be allowed to play in the country again, let alone play for the National Team.

After talking to heads of the Becquerelian National Football Federation, they wanted to visit Zachariah and Macarius at the hospital, but were told that Macarius was off limits to anyone except for hospital staff and the police, and Macarius was resting comfortably.

So, the two coaches went back to their respective homes, and tried to get some sleep for the next day's match against Georgeonia.
Wentland
10-03-2006, 08:04
Wentland Radio Times

Swifts Go Nap As Shing-Shang Shallies

Albert Hall-Stewart

Shnig-Shang proclaimed themselves to be Red Shirted, Red Blooded and Blood Thirsty. And they set out to prove that beyond reasonable doubt with a display that confounded the lovers of the Beautiful Game. With poison in their hearts and venom in their boots, the Swifts found themselves in a battle where the crimson tide flooded the Shing-Shang greenery.

But the Shing-Shangers had reckoned without the stout yeomanry of Wentland. Mr Bluff had deliberately chosen some of the more resilient players. Never mess with a Heathen, for we pursue you unto death and saltate on your resting-place, might have been the Swift motto as the angelic Hopkins and oak-tree Wright were forged in the very fires of Hades and after a swift kick on them in the first few minutes their dander was the definition of up.

One young Shing-Shang forward decided it might be a good idea to stand on Mr Wright’s toes at a corner to prevent his ascent into the Shing-Shang skies. He was soon disabused of that notion, a signal from Wright, the arrival of Jenkins and a Shing-Shang sandwich left him on the ground, semi-conscious and dreaming of schooldays. And a sly trip on Hopkins (resulting in the first flash of yellow) saw his revenge with a masterful tackle. It is not foul play if one takes the ball before the man and Mr Hopkins ensured that his near leg-breaker was indeed not foul play. Shing-Shang had little to offer but blood, sweat, tears and toil. And they were indeed shedding blood and tears.

The football itself was being played by Wentland and Hopkins soon proved he was not a mere exemplar of thuggery with a little nutmeg and 18 yard drive on the quarter-hour to settle any Swift nerves. Eighteen minutes later the lead was doubled through Francis Treves who hung back athwart the area’s edge awaiting the inevitable Kent by-line pull-back as the Shing-Shang defence marked the luciferous Hopkins.

Not long post-half time it was three, a free-kick from 20 yards taken by Capper who postage-stamped it. Three-nil and the foot came off the metaphorical gas. Adrian Loder and Tommy Barnes were brought on to revive their Crowhurst link-up and it paid dividends with a Loder low-loader and a Barnes missile header. Four with twenty minutes remaining. Wentland’s biggest score.

Ah, but the Nones of March brought a warning of a visit from Mr Own Goal, which had proved Shing-Shang’s salvation before, and indeed it did happen with a low cross being horribly miscued by the hapless Harris, recalled post-suspension. One back with nine minutes to go. But the tail of the lion had been tweaked and he returned with a roar, almost from the kick-off the four goal margin restored by the last substitute, Steve Moon, who was chosen by Loder to be the recipient of an excellent free-kick from the by-line. The six minutes of injury time were largely caused by trying to catch the Moon in his delirium of goalscoring – only the second of his career.

So, Wentland gain their biggest win ever and move to joint second in Group Eight. Level on points with second seeds Oliverry. The game against them will be beyond crucial. And when do the teams play? Ah-haaa…

***

Oliverry 0-4 Starblaydia
Priggdom 0-0 Spaam
Obsidianus 2-0 East Lithuania

The matchday pundits drooled when the results came in.

“The Oliverry run had to come to an end sometime, didn’t it? But what a win for Starblaydia…”

“It’s done us a massive favour. If we can sneak a point in Oliverry we have a real, real chance of second in the Group.”

“Not forgetting Spaam. They dropped a couple of points but Priggdom have been proving surprisingly resilient. Our win early doors against them now looks better than it did at the time.”

“With a game in hand over Priggdom we can’t lose ground to them, but we’re third seeds and looking at third in the Group, really. We must watch the Spaam games to prevent any nightmares.”

“But we’re five games in and have twelve points. Think we’d’ve settled for that, really. Annoying that in most other groups that would have put us in auto qualifying…”
Squornshelous
10-03-2006, 08:23
Pschychoes Outpaced by Sloths

A sloppy match in midfield and an especially poor showing by Jorge Fernandina
Squornshelous is not where they expected to be after five matches, third in Group 12 with just 10 points, trailing Schiavonia, who handed them their first defeat of qualifying, and Kericia, whom the Pschychoes will face next in matchday seven. Squornshelous will have to win this match to return to the top two, and be sure not to slip up against Apologetic Kittens and Spaamanian Plijous. If we can pull together three more wins to get to the halfway point of qualifying and our second bye, Squornshelous should be able to pull together and redeem themselves in their last 8 matches.
The match itsself was an ugly affair that a hostile away crowd quickly helped to make uglier. The home side was able to go up due to a few early mistakes and mishandlings by the Squornshelan midfield and the crowd took that energy and ran with it. Squornshelous was able to tie the score with a goal from midfielder Kryztoff Markanen, but Schiavonia took the lead again to go into the half up 2-1. Schiavonia came out at halftime playing even better than they had in the first, putting in two more goals in the first ten minutes, after which they bcked off a bit to play a little more keep away. Vasili Petrov was able to put in one more goal for Squornshelous, but a three goal margin was far too much for the Pschychoes to overcome.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-4 Schivonia

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws byes
MD01: bye
MD02: The Islands of Qutar 1-3 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 5-1 The Macabees
MD04: Jon Parkin 4-4 Squornshelous
MD05: Squornshelous 5-0 San Adriano
MD06: Schiavonia 4-2 Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v Kericia
MD08: Apologetic Kittens v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Spaamanian Plijous
MD10: bye
MD11: Squornshelous v The Islands of Qutar
MD12: The Macabees v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Jon Parkin
MD14: San Adriano v Squornshelous
MD15: Squornshelous v Schiavonia
MD16: Kericia v Squornshelous
MD17: Squornshelous v Apologetic Kittens
MD18: Spaamanian Plijous v Squornshelous
Krytenia
10-03-2006, 09:11
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Star Turn Sinks Brave Boys
by Rami Niblick in Everton City

AFTER all the hype, after all the media mudslinging, after all the buildup, this was a match that delivered everything but the goals. The one-nil scoreline does not do the story of this game justice.

Gabriel Kennedy passed a late fitness test pre-match after being put through his paces by the Krytenian fitness team; his inclusion had a talismanic effect on the home side. In a high-pressure first half, Kennedy and Jaffacake-Phillips both came close in a half that the Aces edged.

They say football is a game of two halves; this was true in this match as it was the visiting team who came out fighting in the second half. The Krytenian defence held firm almost until the closing seconds, sub Jenna Raven slamming home from the edge of the box.

The Aces have ten points from their first five matches, and are currently five adrift of the Stars in second place. Though this game was certainly the most salivating, the next two could be the most important; Hypocria and Legalese are sides that the Aces must win against.

KRYTENIA - 0


SARZONIA - 1
Raven 90+1

SCORERS:
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 4 (+1 Cafetiere Cup, one hat-trick)
G. Kennedy - 4
J. Quinnell - 2
T. Aspell - 1
A. Pedroso - 1
R. Sauvage - 1

FIXTURES:
MD01: H v RCO W 1-0 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
CAF1: A v FMJ L 1-2
MD03: H v LTH D 1-1 (Walton Gardens, Simpson)
MD04: A v PAL W 7-0
MD05: H v RVL W 4-2 (Midland Stadium, Bromham)
MD06: H v SRZ L 1-2 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD07: H v HYP ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD08: A v LGL ?????
MD09: H v VAI ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: A v RCO ?????
CAF2: H v FMJ ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD12: A v LTH ?????
MD13: H v PAL ????? (Lays Road Ground, Leston)
MD14: A v RVL ?????
MD15: A v SRZ ?????
MD16: A v HYP ?????
MD17: H v LGL ????? (Oxley Park, Everton City)
MD18: A v VAI ?????
Georgeonia
10-03-2006, 11:38
Group 11
Lovisa 2-1 Tadjikistan
Emporer Pudu 2-1 Giant Zucchini
Georgeonia 1-2 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Green wombat 1-2 Pastorville

Squids edged out by violent Sea Dragons

Georgeonia can feel justifiably aggreived in ending up with
nothing from this match, and will put at least some of the blame
on what appeared to be a very short sighted linesman. The Squids
came out energetically, knowing that they would need to play well
in order to give their more experienced opponents a shock, but
were devastated when Androssa scored in just the third minute
following an imprecise long ball which appeared to most in the
stadium to have been well off side. Feeling cheated, the squids
went on the attack, and throughout the first half ASMV defended
deeper and deeper in their own half. Georgeonia suffered a number
of fouls, bruised legs and torn shirts, but the Sea Dragons were
not penalised and their defence managed to struggle through to
half time.

The break gave ASMV a chance to regroup and they
looked more assertive in the second half, forcing the Squids into
some accomplished defensive play. Unfortunately, a fluke shot from
out wide somehow squeezed into the top of the goal, and Georgeonia
found themselves 2-0 down in a game they had dominated for long
periods. The Sea Dragons again went on the defensive, pulling
players back into their own penalty area, and the tackling became
even more aggressive and wild. Finally the referee stepped in,
when Camplin was hacked down by a cynical tackle when clean
through on goal. The offending ASMV player was dismissed and
Camplin made no mistake from the penalty spot. The final ten
minutes of the game were played at a frantic pace, as the Squids
attacked again and again against a tired looking Sea Dragons
defence, but in the end they couldn't find the equaliser, and the
match ended 2-1. Speaking after the match, Camplin was upbeat,
"its obviously dissapointing to lose, especially in a game you feel
you really should have won, but this is a good team, and we played
well, we're looking forward to our next game."

Elsewhere in group 11, Lovisa pulled off a win in a close game
against favourites Tadjikistan, moving three points clear at the
top of the group. Pastorville edged their match against Green
Wombat to move within a point of ASMV and Tadjikistan, and the
qualifying spots still look wide open. Emporer Pudu continue to
look better than their seeding, defeating Giant Zucchini to go
fifth. The day's games leave Georgeonia in eighth place, but we
will be hoping get points from today's game against Becquerelia
who have yet to win, and who have been forced to make changes to
their starting line-up after certain...indiscretions...committed
by two of their players last night.

MD01: Away to Giant Zucchini L 3-0
MD02: Home to Pastorville W 1-0
MD03: Away to Green Wombat L 1-0
MD04: Away to Emperor Pudu D 0-0
MD05: Away to Louvisa L 3-0
MD06: Home to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega L 1-2
Tadjikistan
10-03-2006, 12:11
A nation too far
By Simon Grinchik, part time sportsjournalist

Lovisa, the players said, would be where we set the record straight. Indeed, their failure to subdue Emperor Pudu required revenge. The fans were expecting a Tadjik victory and Coach Khumdin Sharipov told his boys they would remember every point they lost here.

The Tadjiks proved themselves superior early on and put pressure on the Lovisans, rewarding themselves with a goal in the 28th minute when Saidomir Saradov broke out of the defensive ring the Lovisans had built around him. The Tadjik fans that followed their team to this odd corner of the world went crazy when they saw it, but their happiness quickly turned to sadness in the second half.

The Tadjik continued their play in the second half, against a Lovisan team that became more and more agressive, Zhenya Zyrianov, Tadjikistans lead scorer was to experience that agressiveness in the 68th minute when he was tackled from behind by a Lovisan defender while he was working his way towards a second Tadjik goal. Zyrianov was brought of the field with a serious injury, forcing Coach Sharipov to replace him with Daniele Priore. In the meantime, the free kick landed on the left pole as Tulberdiev tried to send his shot past the Lovisan wall.

Their offensive actions of the first half had exhausted them and the Tigers were unable to stop the next Lovisan attack, breaking through the Tadjik defenses on the right flank, the Lovisan striker placed his shot high in the left corner of the Tadjik box, out of Gurchevs reach.

The Tadjiks got somewhat frustrated, remembering the words of their coach and the protest of the fans. Especially the Tadjik defenders got vicious, throwing down Lovisans whenever they could. Polozkov pushed a Lovisan to the ground behind the referee and got away with it, but Andreev was not as lucky when he invited his opponent on a trip into the press area. Andreev was sent to the lockerroom with a red card while the Lovisans finished the match with the penalty.

While Andreev and Polozkov enjoyed popularity among the fans for the way they dealt with the Lovisans and the smile that they kept on their face while they left the field, Sharipov gave his players what he had promissed them; a rant they would never forget. He yelled at them for nearly half an hour before leaving the lockerroom, refusing to talk to any of the reporters.

So instead, one of the fans commented in his place 'I loved those actions, especially Andreevs move... yes They did result in a penalty that made us lose but I still loved them. These guys want to win and they would do anything to achieve that goal, I like these guys and I understand that they must be frustrated. I would certainly pay more for a ticket if we got another Boris Gromov on our team. He almost created a diplomatic riot with another nation but he was always around when you needed him.'

Daniel Gurchev did not agree with that stance at all, saying there were other problems at the base 'Our defense has always been a problem child, we've known that for years. And trying to kill your opponents isnt going to help. The coach said Skoropadski and Priore were replacing Zyrianov and Andreev in the next match. These are older guys with more experience from good clubs. Lets hope they are willing to solve the problem.'



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Lovisa 5 4 1 0 16 2 14 13
2 Tadjikistan 5 3 1 1 11 4 7 10
3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 5 3 1 1 7 8 -1 10
4 Pastorville 5 3 0 2 5 4 1 9
5 Emporer Pudu 6 1 4 1 5 9 -4 7
6 Giant Zucchini 5 2 0 3 9 8 1 6
7 Green wombat 6 2 0 4 5 11 -6 6
8 Georgeonia 6 1 1 4 2 9 -7 4
9 Becquerelia 5 0 2 3 1 6 -5 2


Fixtures:
MD1: Stay at home, do nothing
MD2: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan W 1-3
MD3: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 2-0
MD4: Green Wombat - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD5: Tadjikistan - Emperor Pudu D 1-1
MD6: Lovisa - Tadjikistan L 2-1
MD7: Tadjikistan - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD8: Becquerelia - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - Georgonia
MD10: Stay home again, do nothing
MD11: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD12: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD13: Tadjikistan - Green Wombat
MD14: Emperor Pudu - Tadjikistan
MD15: Tadjikistan - Lovisa
MD16: Andossa se Mitrin Vega - Tadjikistan
MD17: Tadjikistan - Becquerelia
MD18: Georgonia - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Zyrianov - 4
Tulberdiev - 3
Saradov - 3
Gurchev - 1
Jeruselem
10-03-2006, 12:55
Jeruselem Goverment News

One-sided showdown

Jeruselem took on New Montreal States as the top two in Group 1 clashed. This was a real test of who was going to be one to lead the others to the Holy Land of soccer. Well, the well drilled NMS team got a shock, as the rampant Crusaders tore their way into a 4-1 win. The poor old NMS team got hit by an early cavalry charge which they never recovered. Jeruselem now take top spot but NMS are 2nd and should stay there.

Druida, what's going on with them? Kirstiriera beat them 2-1 to score their first win in a game Druida should have won. Oddly, Kirstiriera are still last and Druida fall back to 6th.

Cuation fell over. They should have beaten CR Oscilloscopes, but the CR Oscilloscopes team got a crucial 1-0 win which was another shock in Group 1. CR move to 7th while Cuation stay 3rd.

An Archy had a rest day so no anarchy today.

Collonie should have won their game and did. Just though, it was one of those 1-0 wins you don't want to watch.

Overall the top 3 stay as they are except Jeruselem finally claim their top spot. 2nd and 3rd lost, but with An Archy have a bye - they could not be dislodged. Lower teams causing shocks but Jeruselem are justifying their seeding.

Group 1
New Montreal States 1-4 Jeruselem
Kirstiriera 2-1 Druida
CR Oscilloscopes 1-0 Cuation
Atheistic Right 0-1 Collonie


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Jeruselem 4 3 1 0 11 3 8 10
2 New Montreal States 4 3 0 1 7 2 5 9
3 Cuation 4 3 0 1 8 5 3 9
4 An Archy 5 2 2 1 6 7 -1 8
5 Collonie 4 2 1 1 8 6 2 7
6 Druida 4 1 2 1 4 6 -2 5
7 CR Oscilloscopes 5 1 1 3 3 8 -5 4
8 Atheistic Right 5 0 2 3 4 7 -3 2
9 Kirstiriera 5 0 1 4 4 11 -7 1


GROUP NINE
Commerce Heights 0-2 Audioslavia
Ocmeoub 3-1 Nedalia
Berner Street 0-2 Chicanada
Pedriana 1-2 Ariddia

LIONS ROAR! Nope, just hopeful thinking again. Nedalia took on Ocmeoub and got kicked out of the stadium 3-1. The lower ranked Ocmeoub wanted to win and did, while the Lions didn't look like winning. This was bad news as all other well ranked teams won their games. Lions fall back to 5th. Hopefully they are going start a Crusader charge now.

GROUP TEN
Casari 2-2 Hockey Canada
Magnus Valerius 0-2 Kaze Progressa
Crna Gora Liv Eng 2-1 Harlesburg
Imperial Moose 3-2 Majeristan

Well, Hockey Canada drew their first game. The opponent was the rather difficult Casari so a 2 ALL draw was a good result. This left the status quo for the top 2 with both teams sitting pretty and looking like making the group stage. KP won their second game! Good stuff, but it was against Magnus Valerius who aren't all that bad, but they are 8th. Harlesburg and Majeristan both lost ... to bottom teams.
Swilatia
10-03-2006, 13:22
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif

Yesterday Swilaitia has defeated the team from New Preussen. It was a difficult match, and Swilatia's offensive style, lack of defense, and unexperienced goalkeeper has allowed New Pruessen to score one goal, and since we only scored 2 goals against them.

However the good thing is that we won. and we will probably win todays match, which is agains the footie dream team, a very poor team that does not live up to its name.

We all know this they have been losing almost all their matches here since matchday #1. And if you compare the ranki- (gets cut off by other reporter)

No need to. they just suck at the sport, and we all know that
WCTracker
Key: Wins Losses Draws Byes
MD1 - Swilatia vs Bazalonia, 1-1, Rank 4
MD2 - Swilatia at Popolus, 3-0, Rank 3
MD3 - Swilatia at Rejistania, 0-4, Rank 5
MD4 - Swilatia vs The Archregimancy, 1-1, Rank 6
MD5 - Bye, Rank 7
MD6 - Swilatia at New Preussen, 2-1, Rank 4
MD7 - Swilatia vs The Footie Dream Team
Tynelia
10-03-2006, 14:25
“Welcome for an abbreviated edition of Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing World Cup coverage. As always I’m Sal Spikeman along side Anna Dalespin to bring everyone up to date on what took place on Tynelia’s day off. The clash of the Titans took place today as undefeated Bettia took on undefeated Total n Utter Insanity in the battle for first place between the top two seeds in the group. In a tight hard fought contest it was Bettia who prevailed by a narrow 3-2 score to claim sole possession of first place in the group. Elsewhere, Risa-Aramour and the Weegies battled to a 1-1 tie which bumps Tynelia down a notch in the standings behind Risa-Aramour and now tied with the Weegies. The Algar States seem to be falling back to earth after winning their first three as they fell to Nanakaland by a 2-1 score. This drops them to a tie points wise with the surging Kazoo People at nine points but both trail Nanakaland and Total n Utter Insanity by three points in the quest for the final qualification spot. So Anna what do you think this does to Tynelia?”

“Obviously Sal it doesn’t help them much as they drop another spot in the standings. Hopefully Coach O’Meara has something up his sleeve to try and wake up this offense. With the Algar States losing three in a row this is Tynelia’s best chance to try and bounce back before a brutal looking game with Total n Utter Insanity to follow.”

“Well with no game Tynelia went back to the drawing board on offense as Coach O’Meara put them through rigorous shooting and passing drills as our on the spot correspondent Dana Lee reports.”

<footage plays from the Tynelian practice field where Coach O’meara is heard yelling at the team as they drill.>

“Thanks Sal, well here at the Presidential Coliseum the team has gone back to the basics in the hopes of firing up a struggling offense. However things were not looking too promising so far. Coach O’Meara had made a scarecrow and placed it in front of the net and ordered everyone on the team to take a shot at it. Unfortunately the scarecrow stopped all but three of the shots. Coach O’Meara was reportedly seen on the sidelines burying his face in his hands and crying at the sorry effort.

“However he did compose himself to announce that there will be more lineup changes for the match against the Algar States. Claiming some people needed a rest, he announced that Adrian Pytte, the league MVP, John Stossels, Karl Jacobs and Vladimar Malloy will all be sitting this time out and that their places on the field will be taken by the president’s grandson Andy Martins, Sal Prath, Reggie Moore and Amy Whiteworth respectively. He also mentioned that Jeff Leason will be expected to get a lot of rest as well and that Donna Kent will be playing at least a half tomorrow. When he was asked about why he’s making so many changes to the team’s defensive strength O’Meara replied that these people have had next to no rest the entire tournament and that hopefully between the bye and another day off back to back they’ll be refreshed for the game against Total n Utter Insanity. That’s all the news from here. Back to you Sal.”

<camera returnes to the studio>

“Thanks Dana. Well there’s a shocker Anna. The entire defense just about and half the midfield are given the game off. What’s you’re opinion about that move?”

“Well O’Meara has the right idea. Stossels for example has played all but fifteen minutes of the tournament so far and you could see in the Nanakaland game that whole part of the team looked drained and exhausted. I think according to his original plan O’Meara wanted to have given these people a game off before the bye with the offense doing so horribly, he couldn’t afford to lose anything defensively. This could come back to hurt them against the Algar States this next game but it was a move that had to be done. We’ll just have to see how that turns out.”

“So you expect Tynelia to lose again?”

“Its simple Sal, if you can’t score you can’t win. If Tynelia can figure out how to score again they could pull this one out. Its clearly their best shot of the next three games to get a win. Finishing the first half of the tournament with only four points is a very poor showing so hopefully they’ll try and regain some self respect at least tomorrow. But yes Sal, I expect Tynelia to fall by a 1-0 scrore. Until they show they can put the ball in the net I’m not going to be predicting anything coming from the offense.”

“Ok Anna, a bit negative but perfectly justifiable under the circumstances. Now with a game in the works let’s go see the lovely Harmonie Harris to see what the weather will be like here in Tynelia for the game.”

<camera moves to Harmonie standing near a map of Tynelia>

“Hi Sal! Hi Anna! So Tynelia will be playing at the Presidential Colisseum today against the Asgard States. It will be cooler than usual tonight with a chance of rain at kickoff.” <Harmonie uses her pointer to point at Grey House where the president lives and not the Coliseum> So expect everyone to be damp and bad tempered for anyone who plans to see the game. I know I’ll be staying home where its nice and warm. Back to you Sal.”

<Harmonie beams at the camera before it cuts back to Sal and Anna>

“Thanks Harmonie. This game against the ALGAR States is clearly a must win for Tynelia. Um Anna why are you shaking your head like that?”

“NO reason Sal. Just go on.”

“Ok then, as always, our live coverage of the World Cup will continue tonight and we’ll be here right after the game for the post game report and see if Tynelia can finally figure out how to put the ball in the net. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

<credits roll>

********************************************************
<somewhere in an underground bunker within the capital of Tyr>

“Agent Jenkins get in here.” The Minister of Intelligence John Smith called over the intercom.

Soon a man wearing a dark grey suit unlike the black suit most of the other agents of the Ministry entered the office. “Agent Jenkins reporting as ordered sir.”

“So have you learned anything about the theft of the Tynelian crystals from the time of the BoF?”

“No sir. We’ve narrowed it down to it most likely being from one of the competitors and recent reports have eliminated Rorysville from the list of suspects.”

“I see Jenkins. As I can see by your non-Ministry uniform you’ve been briefed on your mission.”

“Yes sir. I’m to travel in disguise as a soccer fan to the locations where each of the orange group teams are playing to see if their teams will have any clues to the location of the stolen crystals so they may be recovered. Then report back to you so we can send in some of our agents to recover the crystals.”

“Correct. Don’t disappoint me. Dismissed.”
Audioslavia
10-03-2006, 14:34
http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt
Commerce: Shite

And so, the Big Nasty Hard Game Against A Really Good Team became simply 'a game', and a game that yielded Audioslavia's best performance of the qualifiers yet.

Playing away from home in a stadium almost full of Commerce Heightians, the 'slaves played an intelligent game of counterpunches and punishing mistakes. The Bulldogs had the posession, but the Bulls had the penetration and the pace and all the other 'P' words. This was proved by some perfect, pacey, passing play accross the park which punctured the opponents' petrified defence and put a point on the board for the visitors. It was, again, Arturo Vitalis who got the goal, finishing off a slick move which saw seven first-time passes before Vitalis rounded his man and finished into the bottom corner.

After the half-time break the Commerce Heights attacks, which before had been patient and controlled, turned a little scrappy. The long, searching, yearning high balls were being picked out and plucked from the sky by goalie and defender alike, with Commerce Heights' strike force at odds on how to get the upper hand. As the minutes ticked by the CH team were getting more and more desperate for the equaliser and to avoid defeat in front of their own fans, but the gallant guardians of the green and gold were time and again shunned as the goal gave them the cold shoulder. With a quarter of an hour to go the Bulldogs had their best opportunity of the game, but de-ja vu struck as the shot was saved well by Yngve who began a counter-attack that was to prove fatal. Fiori picked up a high ball and, after a one-two with Callum Baxter, took the ball at speed towards an unprotected goalkeeper. A shimmy here, and a shake there, and finally a shot, all of which failed to impress the keeper as he palmed the ball away, but only as far as that man again Arturo Vitalis who knocked the ball into the gaping net for 2-0 and his seventh of the campaign.

Audioslavia's complete and utter failure to control any of their previous games was, thankfully, totally inevident here as they bossed the CH attack and held the upper hand until the finish.

FINAL SCORE
Commerce Heights 0
Audioslavia 2 (Vitalis 37, 78)

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 5 5 0 0 11 4 7 15
2 Commerce Heights 5 3 1 1 9 3 6 10
3 Kelse 5 3 1 1 9 6 3 10
4 Chicanada 5 3 0 2 4 2 2 9
5 Nedalia 5 2 1 2 11 11 0 7
6 Ariddia 5 2 1 2 8 9 -1 7
7 Berner Street 6 1 2 3 5 8 -3 5
8 Ocmeoub 6 1 0 5 5 13 -8 3
9 Pedriana 6 0 2 4 5 11 -6 2

In other matches in our group, Nedalia got the biggest shock of the qualifiers as they went down 3-1 to lowly Ocmeoub. Kelse, despite having a bye, retained their third position although Chicanada's win over Berner Street makes their cushion over fourth place slightly less comfortable. Ariddia are finally picking their feet up and have moved level with Nedalia in fifth, and feasibly one win away from a playoff place. At the top though, its the un-beaten Audioslavia who take a commanding lead over the rest of the group. Away victories over the group's supposed main threats have put them in a very strong position, but they will have to overcome the impressive Kelse and traverse the potential banana-skin of Berner Street to maintain their advantage at the half-way point.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.
Schiavonia
10-03-2006, 15:34
The Schiavone Scribe
Squashed-shelous!
Schiavonia 4-2 Squornshelous

The plan worked!

Schiavonia changed the team around, packed the central midfield, and it worked! They beat Squornshelous!

And it was quite a convincing victory, too. The Psychoses appeared to have come prepared for the Sloths' usual 4-3-3 approach, but instead they came up against the more unusual 2-4-2-2 approach, with McGee replacing the recovering McAndrew.

It started off fairly even. First Kenny Sanderson disposessed Kumar Nesfield to break away and score, before Kryztoff Markanen equalised with a well struck volley.

As teh game wore on, though, the Schiavone midfield was wearing down their opponents, and the more the game wore on, the more they wore them down, and the better things got.

Just before half time, a slick passing movement made it's way to Tony Tarmey for two-one. After the break, a third for Di Mascherenasi and a fourth from Fernando Smith, and amazingly, orange and scarlet dominated red and black by four goals to one!

At this point, Schiavonia relaxed. Pedro Swollocks and Craig McAndrew got little runs out, and before the end, it was four-two. But then nobody seemed that bothered when Vasili Petrov scored. The Schiavone fans knew the game was in the bag, while the visiting support were too dismayed with their team's performance to care.

So now Schiavonia are at the summit of Group 12, two points ahead of Kericia in second, with Squornshelous a further point back. All in all, another successful run so far.

Final score:
Schiavonia 4 (Sanderson 8, Tarmey 41, Di Mascherenasi 54, Smith 67)
Squornshelous 2 (Markanen 12, Petrov 85)
Haraki
10-03-2006, 18:47
Hawks Best AUFC in Exhibition Match
From the Haraki News network Print Edition

Sam Sherman, Atherlon. The Haraki Hawks played a tough game today against the determined Atherlon United Football Club during the Hawks' bye for Matchday Six, and ultimately emerged victorious. AUFC was missing four players from it sstarting roster, including its goalie, and it most certainly showed.

From the start of the game, the Hawks dominated AUFC, managing eighteen minutes of posession in the first quarter of the game, with the game's first goal coming from Samuel Sharp at seventeen minutes in. AUFC's keeper tried to stop it, but it was simply too much for the reservist. They tried an offence, but it was generally fairly feeble during the first quarter, facing off against the Hawks, by now notorious for a fast and furious start from zero.

Although trailing 1-0 by the second quarter, AUFC picked it up a notch for the rest of the first half, getting off four shots, including two quality ones that even top-notch keeper Mark Stone had trouble blocking. But block them he did, and Haraki's defence, spearheaded by Jonah Menike, was in top form today, managing to stop nearly all offensive drives. The first half ended with a one-goal lead for the Hawks.

The second half surprised many sports snalysts, as the Hawks seemed not to slow down their game at all. Their regular aggressive first half followed by a more laid-back defensive second half completely disappeared for this game, which will be at least a confidence booster for the Hawks players, if not more than that. AUFC tried to start the second half with a blistering offence, only to be shut down by regular AUFC player Manuel Cortes, who seemed to have no qualms stealing the ball from his teammates and heading down the field with it. A quick pass was made over to Zendar, who took a shot but had it blocked by AUFC's keeper.

However, his throw in for play to continue was not enough. Midfield Samantha Ribald was right there to steal the ball, and after having it for only a few seconds, made another shot at goal. AUFC, not expecting this shot in the least, were powerless to stop it, as the Hawks cemented their lead.

The third and final goal of the game came at seventy minutes in. Hawks player Manuel Cortes tore down the field with the ball, and after getting past the defence, was met by the keeper, a friend of his. He managed to dodge around him and was left with a wide open net. No-one could miss such a shot. He kicked it and the ball slammed into the net, making AUFC fans in the stadium scream. Manuel Cortes, a regular AUFC player, had scored a humiliation goal against his own reserve keeper.

The rest of the game seemed to consist of the Hawks winding down after playing, with the ninety-minute mark reached and the score still 3-0. AUFC, missing a powerful offence and without their regular keeper, were soundly trounced by Haraki's national team. However, Cortes could be seen hugging the AUFC players and talking animatedly to them. It seemed little more than a friendly game.

Ticket sales were the highest for any game played at Champion Field over the last five years. Only the much-hyped showdown five years ago between Atherlon United and North Susa for the HFL champion title outsold it.

Haraki 3 - Atherlon United Football Club 0

Sharp (17)
Ribald (50)
Cortes (70)


Sam Sherman is the HNN's leading football analyst.
Chicanada
10-03-2006, 19:25
Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Home to Kodiak and Snow Leopard News

Beginnings of Recovery
Kodiaks heed CFA Warning, tear through Berner Street.

Eastentown - Heeding the words of an angry CFA, Chicanada showed up in Berner Street ready to play. And finally took a convincing win going into an expected loss game.

The Kodiaks, geeting help from Seregavian and new backup striker Ujan Oziya, were able to earn a needed 2-0 victory over the Streeters, and took advantage of a rare Nedalia upset to move within striking distance of the playoffs.

Not that we expect playoffs, but it's nice to see anyways.

Olani Pjan rode the bench, still not quite recovered from the shock and embarrasment she suffered during the Disaster of Kinsington. A mistimed block by her left the ball sailing past Paris Asmiov into the goal and ging Kelse a victory over the Kodiaks. Which then set the soccer mad nation into a riotous mode.

Thankfully, only cool celebrations met the news of victory, as the national government continues to brace for more riots. Nearly 16000 people have been arrested since The Disaster, mostly due to aggravated assalut and liqour violations. 20 people are now in jail for attempting to set Southampton City Stadia on fire, and ongoing investigations are in process concering arsonist attempts at the CFA offices, Grasslands Stadia and Carthage Coastal Stadia, resulting in Carthage and Aspern moving their home matches into Southall territory for two weeks.

Up next for the Kodiaks is Audioslavia, a team the Kodiaks have beat once, lost to once, and scored a tie in their only Finals appearance against. The Kodiaks are desperate for a win against the undefeated side, and with history on their side (their upset over the 'slavia was there, while the Kodiaks were pounded at home in the return match) maybe the team can be lucky.

But no one is expecting anything. Not even a tie. Coach Yerevan Malli even said the team would be lucky to escape scoring a point, after being asked about the dominating play Audioslavia had against rivals Commerce Heights. He did follow, however, he and the team were shocked to be completely ignored by the Audioslavia press concering their team's excellent record and only needing to avoid missteps against Kelse and Berner Street, saying "it's too early to pencil in a victory against us [Chicanada] and trying to look ahead at Kelse."

The Kodiaks enter a rather tricky stretch, with their road game against Audioslavia follwed by home games against AO rivals Nedalia and always unpredictable Arrida before hitting the road to take on the always pesky (and barely beat the last time) Pedriana. The Kodiaks, in order to have any shot of even the playoffs and not seeing the National team yanked from international play, must win a couple and get points out of all the matches in order to keep up with Kelse at the very least.

Canal will be carrying the Audioslavia game live starting at 1300. Most stadia will not be carrying the game, out of fears of a loss. Cana, Southampton, Jaxx, Douala, Acadia and Mogada will be showing the game in their public squares, under the ever watchful eye of the police. No alcohol will be sold or allowed into the Squares during or before the game, and expect lines of people checking in to see the game.

Kodiak National Side Schedule (We still expect yet another 5th place finish)
MD01: W 1-0 v Pedriana (@ Moutainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD02: W 1-0 @ Ocmeoub
MD03: L 1-0 @ Commerce Heights
MD04: off day - plans for training in Kinsington
MD05: L 1-0 v Kelse (@ New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD06: W 2-0 @ Berner Street
MD07: @ Audioslavia
MD08: v Nedalia (@ Depot Centre, Cana)
MD09: v Arrida (@ Heartland Stadium, Goedi)
MD10: @ Pedriana
MD11: v Ocmeoub (@ BFC Pavillion, Bishop County)
MD12: v Commerce Heights (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD13: off day - training in Atens
MD14: @ Kelse
MD15: v Berner Street (@ Coastal Stadium, New Glasgow)
MD16: v Audioslavia (@ Southampton National Square)
MD17: @ Nedalia
MD18: @ Arrida

In Kinsington news, the city was able to lift their curfew after the opening night of rioting thanks to calmer head prevailing, as well as Kinsington's baseball team sneaking past Douala and reaching the Canton Cup Finals against Southampton. Not all good news, as Embassy Row is still closed a week before the Grand Opening and Call for an exchange of ambassadors. In addition, Governess Palace will be playing home matches at Hull City Staidum and Shooters Isle Arena for the time being, as Hull City and North Coast opened their staduims while the New Governess stadia is repaired. Expected costs of CP 1 million occured after the Disaster, thankfully only to the soccer side, as the two indoor halls (one for ice hockey, one for concerts and lacross) were locked for the evening of the match. New Governess CFO Mark Consejo said repairs should take two months and Palace should be able to start their push towards the SuperCup as well as League Cup matches back home.
Starblaydia
10-03-2006, 19:34
A Magnificent Seven
Starblaydia bag record win

Little did those coming to Tabeck FC's home ground think they would see a record-breaking win for Starblaydia. Never before has the national football team scored seven goals, nor even won by such a margin.

Even with a reduced-strength team, in preparation for tomorrow's match against Oliverry, Starblaydia still dominated from front to back over all areas of the pitch.So much so, in fact that they were four-nil up already at half-time. Antonis Kouvas is proving himself to be an ever-present danger from set plays, his height and movement giving him the perfect set-up to head in off the underside of the crossbar from a perfectly-taken corner by Paul Noble.

Just over sixty seconds after the celebrations had stopped, Raphaelo was given all the time that he needed to turn a defender and fire into the back of the net. Two-nil in under a quarter of an hour and Starblaydia were already cruising. Dasha Tolkacheva, however, was shifting our of cruise control and into top gear as she raced away from three players and chipped the ball past the onrushing keeper for three. For another shocking twenty-five minutes, Starblaydia somehow failed to score and went in just three-nil up at half time.

Menecrates began things early in the second half as Starblaydia attacked the Home fans' end, netting with a free-kick after just four minutes. A cheekily-taken one that left the goalie totally wrong-footed as the ball bobbled into the net. Soon after Dash had her second of the night, latching on to Jade Matranga's through-ball, beating the defender and arcing a shot into the top corner.

Menecrates wasn't to be outdone, however, bagging the sixth from a penalty after Raphaelo was pulled down in the box. Paul Noble was even on hand to blast the ball across the face of goal and make it a magnificent seven goals for Starblaydia as they remain on course for a second World Cup win, with their third clean sheet in a row.

Final Score from Tabeck Arena:
Starblaydia 7 (seven) - 0 Priggdom
(Kouvas 11, Raphaelo 13, Tolkacheva 24 & 51, Menecrates 49 & 57 pen, Noble 84) - (None)
Casari
10-03-2006, 19:47
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Not Even Tiger Kits could get Casari Home Win
2-2 Tie to Hockey Canada Order of day

One of the most out-and-out physical matches of qualifying so far, a battered Casaran team fought to a 2-2 tie against Hockey Canada.

"I'm not sure what the hell they were playing, but some guy kept trying to knee me in the sack." Roe said after the match, mumbling.

The amount of physical play was astonishing in the game, as was the number on non-calls.

The goals came quickly, all in the first 10 minutes of the game. Sadly, for the rest, it seemed that people were less interesting in playing the ball than trying to gouge chunks out of each other's thighs. While the rough play lasted all night. 4 yellow cards were handed out over the course of the night, two to Hockey Canadian players and one each to LeMurry and Larini.

Hill was unavailable for comment after the match, and only gave a written press release after the game.
Hypocria
10-03-2006, 20:04
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Tired of scrabbling around for points?


Fed up with finishing rock bottom of your group?


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Simply turn up on the day of the match and our highly trained team of professionals will do the rest. Ensuring you precious World Cup points.

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Southern Manchester
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If you’re in need of an upset just come to us.

Hypocria - NS Sport’s premier purveyor of points to the unranked and hopeless.



---Advertisement---
Becquerelia
10-03-2006, 20:26
(OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? We wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)

And we turn back around to see what's ahead:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/georgeonia.gif Georgeonia____at____Becqureliahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gif


BECQUERELIA REELING
Georgeonia Travels To Face Shocked National Team


Roentgen (JNS) - Even with all the craziness that occured last night, football must go on.

However hard that might be.

With Midfielder Zachariah Mendel and Defender Issac Stahl given indefinite suspensions, back-ups Daniel Abigantus and Mark Latalien will move into the starting line-up.

"Normally, I would have been ecstatic about getting the chance to start, but I hate to be starting in a situation like this." said Daniel Abigantus after finding out the news of his advancement into the starting line-up. "This is Zachariah's spot, and it still would be except for a mistake. A big mistake, but a mistake."

Daniel was added to the National Team roster following the Baptism of Fire, in order to add some depth to the Midfielder position. So far in the World Cup, he has seen spot duty in a couple games.

The second new starter is Defender Mark Latalien, who will replace Issac Stahl. Said Mark, "This is a terrible situation, but there's not much I can do except hope that Issac will be back on the national team in the future."

Mark is currently the oldest player on the team, and has seen limited duty during both the Baptism of Fire. He was the main defensive back-up in the Baptism of Fire, and was expected to become the fifth defender when Salvius DeMaranville retired, but Keyne Hawkins leapt over him for that position. Mark declined to comment on this.

In a press release by the Becquerelian National Football Federation and Head Coach Macarius Ransome, who was checked out of the hospital first thing this morning, a new back-up midfielder and defender will be added to the National Team "as soon as is possible."

The game against Georgeonia will be a battle for 8th place in Group 11. If Georgeonia wins, Becquerelia will be 5 points back and mired in dead last. If Becquerelia wins, they will leap into eighth, and could be in striking distance of moving up forward, depending on how the rest of today's games go. A tie would be the third straight at Phaeton Stadium, and will keep the bottom of the Group the same.
Starblaydia
10-03-2006, 20:53
Le Takil, C'est Mort!
Starblaydia take Group 8 lead

There's just one problem when your team - 'you' being an Oliverrian, of course - plays a 2-3-5, super-all-out-attacking formation. That problem, it seems, is called 'Starblaydia'. As we all know, winning the midfield is key to winning the game, as its influence reaches into both attack and defence. With a midfield consisting of Georges Blanc, Paul Noble, Javi Chavez and the one-and-only Menecrates, Oliverry's three-man midfield where overwhelmed.

With the midfield unable to cope, Olivery's much-vaunted attack were helpless without the ball. Taking this line of footballing logic further: with Starblaydia consistently winning the ball in midfield, Oliverry's two defenders were faced with Raphaelo and Dasha Tolkacheva, supported by Menecrates. Not the kind of players who you can man-mark effectively.

Menecrates himself scored the first goal, intercepting a mis-placed pass from André Grégoire and surging forward. A quick one-two pass with Raphaelo later and he broke into the box to score, tapping the ball past Bellemort with the outside of his right foot. Just ten minutes later it was a fast break down the outside right by Dash, who simply needed to find Raph in the centre. One tap-in later and Starblaydia were two-up after half an hour.

When they did have the ball, Oliverry caused Starblaydia many problems at the back, most notably through Marc Boulanger, who always seemed to be the man in space when the right pass was needed. Unfortunately for him there was always a Starblaydi defender's boot or goalkeeper's limb in the way of his shooting.

Starblaydia were just about holding onto their two-nil lead when Tolkacheva effectively killed the game off as a contest with a goal in the sixty-first minute. This time it was her intuition, anticipating and then capitalising on a mistake by Tristan Lacombe to steal the ball, before rounding Bellemort to slot home with a simple finish.

Finally it was down to the captain, Menecrates, to seal the game with a low drive from the edge of the penalty area. Not only have Starblaydia bagged fifteen goals in their last four matches, including a record seven-nil win, they haven't conceeded once in those four games.

Final Score from Oliverry:
Oliverry 0 - 4 Starblaydia
(None) - (Menecrates 21 & 68, Raphaelo 32, Tolkacheva 61)
Cuation
10-03-2006, 21:01
Ball played back to Seamen with five minutes left. Seamen to clear it but slips, who will be the first to react? Üwe Ritz knocks it forward and shoots! Goal for CR Oscilloscopes! Another upset goes against Cuation! Seamen should have done better there.

Many escuses can be given, the strikers had an off day, Seamen made an error at a vital point, being away. Simply Cuation lacked the edge they needed and though they stay third place, upsets like this can not continue.

Somewhat confused by the formationm of the home team, the wingers should have still taken full of advantage but they where limp. Tanner and Rual struggled to find space and Giovanni was so bad that he was replaced at half time.
Tynelia
10-03-2006, 22:01
Coach Marcus O'Meara sees an interesting ad in the newspaper and jumps to his feet in wide-eyed astonishment.

"What these people in Hypocria have come up with a bona-fide system to win games you have no prayer at? You over there!"

"Yes coach" one of his nameless assistants answered.

"Get over there and get these people over here. We have Total n Utter Insanity coming up after today's game against the Algar States. TNUI is ranked freakin 5th in the whole world and we can't score if our lives depended on it. They're gonna slaughter us. Get these guys here for that game! And fast!"

"Right coach." replied the assistant who scampered off.
Sarzonia
10-03-2006, 22:09
Sports columnist Ryan Calvin was lazily scanning the wires on his laptop computer in the press room at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock during the pre-match doldrums before Sarzonia were to face Lethislavania. He also scanned through the electronic copies of several sports pages that were sent to him electronically by the sports editor.

The recession in Sarzonia had cost the Woodstock Daily Mail a third of its copy editing staff, leaving a small group of college interns and octogenarians to serve as the copy desk. And most of them were in News or Business. That meant he had to read through page proofs and send them back to the sports editor with revisions.

After finishing the look at the World Cup tables, noting upsets like Revived Constantinople's 2-1 shock win over Hypocria and Majeristan's flat 3-2 loss to a bottom feeding side. His eyes slowly wandered over to the next page when he saw an advert that seemed out of place, even though the formatting was perfect.

Are you a nation struggling at the wrong end of the world rankings?

Tired of scrabbling around for points?

Fed up with finishing rock bottom of your group?

Then we have the answer for you.

Simply turn up on the day of the match and our highly trained team of professionals will do the rest. Ensuring you precious World Cup points.

Previous customers include;

Kajiztahn
Southern Manchester
Klakistany
0-0 is Evil
Jastica
Jacobian Tribes
Majeristan
Palacetonia

And our most recent client,

Revived Constantinople

If you’re in need of an upset just come to us.

Hypocria - NS Sport’s premier purveyor of points to the unranked and hopeless.
Calvin chuckled for a moment before he clicked SEND with all the changes to the proofs. He then looked at the printed out version of the advert that was in the Portland Press Herald. By now, the full effect of the advert kicked in. Before anyone knew it, emergency medical technicians rushed into the media's unofficial sanctuary.

The next day, a story that even topped the latest news about Sarzonia's economic crisis would lead the way for all broadcasts: Ryan Calvin, the noted Woodstock Daily Mail sports columnist, died laughing. The cause? An advert published by the Hypocrian Football Association.

*****************************************

"Mr. Calvin, is everything okay?"

"Y-y-yes," Calvin said.

"What's goin' on?"

"I'm just tired. I had a dream that Hypocria's Football Association just published an advert that made light of their ability to lose matches to bottom-feeder sides and that I died laughing as a result.

"Um, Mr. Calvin, they did publish the advert. Here it is."

Calvin looked at the advert and began to laugh. At least the advert didn't kill him.
Vuam and Isma
10-03-2006, 22:59
This is Vuam and Isma's report concerning the events that are from just after matchday 2 to the end of the match played during matchday 4.

Gazetta de'Esporte

O'Connor to not be ready to play against Rorysville.

Colm O'Connor will not be ready to play against Rorysville on matchday 3 of the WCQ.

Colm, who recieved a hand injury during the match against Lethislavia, and has left Vuam and Isma weakened in goal. Colm O'Connor, who is Vuam and Isma's top goalkeeper, is expected to be able to make a come-back against Sarzonia, but he ruled out a return against Rorysville this afternoon.

"I know that each match is important in the WCQ, but Scarab and Johann both agree with me that I'd be better off recovering properly and not rushing back to the game." - Colm O'Connor

"We're dissapointed that Colm isn't going to make it for the match against Rorysville, but at least we're sure he'll be present as we take on the real 'kings' of the group : Sarzonia." - Scarab

However, Colm O'Connor leaves Vuam and Isma in a delicate position, between an ageing Stromstottir, who was criticised for his fumbles against Lethislavia and his lack of concentration against Palacetonia, and a very young and unexperienced Ivers.

Ivers has not yet come off the bench during the WCQ, and played only one match during the BoF, letting in a goal on the rebound of a penalty he clawed onto the crossbar.


Gazetta de'Esporte

Rorysville ruin the show at the Communal Grounds.
Vuam and Isma - 0
Rorysville - 2 (#7 43, #5 49)

V&I were hoping to make it 2 wins out of 2 as they faced Rorysville at home, having just disposed of Palacetonia at the Stadio Mondragon. However, Rorysville, also a "small" team, were at their fighting best to bring home their first points of the qualifiers.

As winter began to set in, the Communal Grounds were very windy, but the 25,000 Vuam and Isma fans didn't care, as they thought they would see another win for V&I.

Rorysville weren't impressive at any moment during the match, and Vuam and Isma will feel hard done by the scoreline, as they probably did enough to earn a draw. Both teams were evenly matched, taking 13 shots each, and the only qualm that Vuam and Isma will have was that whilst Rorysville got 5 on target, O'Beirne and Ghauri could only total 1 on target each.

Ivers let in two goals either side of the break, both on very similar actions. Both came from a free kick that was caught in a gust of wind, pushing the ball out of Iver's grasp.

However, Vuam and Isma ran most of the show, with Dynamique and Lidon in majestuous form, showing the Roryvillian midfielders the extent of their technique. Even so, O'Beirne was ineffective during the first half, losing far to many balls, and missing completely most of the crosses bacause of the strong wind. The second half saw Ghauri replace O'Beirne, but he couldn't do better, as most of his shots sailed harmlessly off-target.

Vuam and Isma will be dissapointed, but the most important now is to make sure that the players that were rested for the match against Sarzonia, and that Colm has better defense when he comes back than Vuam and Isma have offered so far... V&I have conceded 7 goals in 3 games!



Gazetta de'Esporte

There were 15 'Stars' on the pitch!
Vuam and Isma - 0
Sarzonia - 2 (Kevin Wilson 68, Mike Cole 83)

The Estadio da Luc might be in Ehime, but you'd have thought it was in a nutral venue. Sarzonia, currently 4th in the world, were well supported, as their 28,000 fans showed. As the Estadio da Luc hit a new highest filling ratio, with 56,729 fans, only 27,000 were V&I fans.

Who thought it would be easy? Nobody. Who thought it would be impossible? Everyone. But Scarab and Johann Fischmann's efforts to make Vuam and Isma more than a ragdoll seem to be paying off.

Starting line-ups :

V&I
Colm O'Connor

Mounir Reguagui Icham S'baa Roman Brasiviev Sett Marc

Stefan Grak Harrp Dynamique Yak Exclamatio Lidon Stuart O'Driscoll

Stephen Fitzsimons


Sarzonia
Roger Treadway

Ridley Scott Kenny Houlder Mike Cole

Henrik Bastale Jenna Raven Jarret Sanderson Calvin Olson Nathan West

Kenny Cooper Kevin Wilson

However, even if Vuam and Isma had all the odds against them, the White and Azures proved to be the better side at the beginning, making a greater impact on the match than their Sarzonian counterparts.

Yak was instrumental in Vuam and Isma's domination of the opening sequences of the match, as his neat passing tore the Sarzonian midfield, and his physical presence made sure that Olson didn't push his weight in midfield. But Yak's tackling was also wonderful, as he just didn't let Jenna raven and Jarret Sanderson play their usual style of laid-back technical football, as he was always present, always infront of them to get a foot on the ball.

And if Yak's solid performance wasn't enough to break the Sarzonian attacks, then they would be stopped in their tracks by Colm O'Connor. Colm cut out 13 crosses, and smothered 4 balls at the feet of the 'Star' strikers. But he also made 6 saves, including 2 that would make any striker shiver, a free-kick stop that was going in just under the crossbar, and a reflex save as he used his body to stop Cooper's 4-yard effort.

As Vuam and Isma took posession of the ball more an more often, and for longer and longer periods, it seemed as though the impossible could happen, V&I could just get one past the Stars. Fitzsimons was a true force for V&I during the whole match, and his 13 efforts show how desruptive he was in the Sarzonian defence. Even though only 3 were on target, the ball hit the post 2 times, and the side netting once. However, Fitzsimmons was on deadly form, as only one of his shots sailed clearly wide, all the others being only a few inches the wrong side of the bars.

Grak had a strange game. Caught off-side 7 times, he recieved a yellow card following a brawl with the linesman after being flagged for the 6th time. However, his crosses, as well as his through-balls for Fitzsimons were priceless, and had Nathan West constantly looking behind him to check that he was there.

Sarzonia were, as usual, all very good. However, Houlder and Scott were their top men, as they prevented Fitzsimons from getting enough space to fire any of his favoured edge-of-the-box screamers, forcing him to play with his head and shoot from either well inside or well outside the box.

In fact, Sarzonia fans were wondering if they could break the deadlock until Wilson managed to tap a shot of Bastale that Colm had parried into the back of the net. Exactly 15 minutes later, Bastale earned a corner off Sett Marc, and his inswinging corner was only punched out of the box by Colm, to allow Mike Cole his first goal of the tournament, as he simply had to belt the ball through the mass of players that were in the box. The ball hit sevral players, but Cole claimed the goal, and nobody had any questions.

After the match, Dave Wilson, Sarzonia's Head Coach, and Johann Fischmann met in the center circle, after both teams had saluted the superb fans. They talked for a few minutes, and seemed to leave the field like two old friends.

When Gazetta de'Esporte asked Johann Fischmann what had been discussed, Johann let in on the undisguised interest of some Sarzonian clubs for Colm O'Connor, Yak, Stephen Fitzsimons and Stefan Grak. "Seen how they played together, they were really the 'Stars' of the evening, maybe more than the eleven 'Stars' we were supposed to be taught a lesson by." was the only comment Scarab made.

Dave Wilson told Gazetta de'Esporte that he had been happy with his team's defensive display, but that Colm O'Connor and Stephen Fitzsimmons had really been a nightmare for him by half-time. "What do you do when you're up against a 'keeper who seems to know what your strikers are going to do, and a striker who just seems to slip through your defence when he feels like it? Sarzonia has a record of footballing excellence, and I'm sure that Fitzsimons and O'Connor, but also Yak and Grak would fit in perfectly in some of the top squads in Sarzonian leagues." commented Dave Wilson.

However, if the four 'Stars' of Vuam and Isma are to leave the Topplig, it could be quite a costy affair for Sarzonia. Not so much that they will have to pay much, but rather that quite a few Topplig clubs would like to see a couple of young players that aren't yet first team regulars make the trip in the other direction, even if it's only for a season or two.

Lesk FC, to whom Colm O'Connor and Stephen Fitzsimons are contracted to, declared that if they were to leave, then not only would there be a lot of money on the table, but there would also be the need for a strong partnership with the clubs that Colm and Stephen would leave for.
New Montreal States
10-03-2006, 23:03
OUCH

Crusaders deliver worst beating to an Orthodox nation since the 4th crusade

NEW MONTREAL - A packed Paladin Dome. A high-profile match against one of the finest teams in the world. The team on a bit of a roll after a 3-0 manhandling of CR Oscillioscopes.

The Crusaders looked all this over. Then they smacked down the Paladins out of the gate and never looked back.

A pair of early goals took the spirit out of the Paladins, who were struggling to keep the match from going from 2-0 to 3-or-4 or in the first twenty minutes. The midfield went all to pieces, the backs were really backing anything and Paul Chasson looked like he was about to crap his pants in the net. Gilles Villeneuve and Hubert Labranche both looked okay in the front, but only touched the ball three times between them in the first half as the Jeruselem midfield smothered the Paladins. In a 2-6-2, this means you might as well head to the showers after a half, and this is what William Branstone elected to do, leaving the match in the hands of assistant Yves Thierry for most of the second half while he strode up and down the sidelines in a mood of unapproachable disgust.

The Paladins steadied a bit in the start of the second half, until the Crusaders stuffed another one into the net at 54 minutes. Villeneuve finally put NMS on the board at 59 minutes after Chasson lauched a kick down the field that found him open, the Jeruselem defenders simply having quit paying attention owing to the lack of action on their end of the field.

Jeruselem put in a pair of subs, and one of these picked up a goal in the 84th minute on a counterattack. Thus did the Crusaders avenge themselves amply for the upset win the Paladins pulled on them in WC25 group play, and thus did 150000 people leave the Paladin Dome in a foul mood. A traditional post-match riot broke out on the streets outside the dome, with about 400000 ounces of marijuana worth of damage. Said police chief Sylvain Plessis: "Hey, not as bad as I thought it'd be. The rioting, that is. The footie sucked. If I had put down a couple hundred bucks to watch that crap, I'd feel like smashing hell out of something afterwards as well."

JERUSELEM 4 - Howard 6, Mawad 14, Shrub 54, Lozt Toz 84
PALADINS 1 - Villeneuve 59

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 5
Gordon 1
Pilon 1
Toussaint 1
Kirstiriera
10-03-2006, 23:04
Druida falls to Kirstiriera 2-1...
The Angels finally are off on their way back to the top of Group 1 after turning over Druida in the last few minutes of the match. The Angels led the match after the Druids were left wanting in the first few minutes of the first half. Druida soon replied with a well struck goal that the Angels had no chance with at all. Interval: Druida 1-1 Kirstiriera. The score stayed the same until the final set play of the match where a Druida defender hit the ball into his own net causing elation for the Angels... Get scared, Collonnie and the rest of Group 1. The Angels are now in flight and ready to cause a lot of damage to the field...
Mr Chuck Norris
10-03-2006, 23:05
Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

We don't feel an introduction to the Fighting Norris's latest match is necessary as all of the Fighting Norris fans are currently celebrating out in the streets. So...

Mr Chuck Norris 2 (Chuck Norris 2, 47)
Rolatia 0

La Estadia De Norris was packed with fans of the Fighting Norris as 77th rank Rolatia came to The Holy Empire of Mr Chuck Norris to play their football match. The Fighting Norris would prove to make it difficult right from the start. Play began and the ball instantly ended up under control of the Fighting Norris midfielders, who made surprisingly quick work of the Rolatian midfielders. Fighting Norris midfielder Zach Brickhouse, soon after manuvering away from Rolatian midfielder Elliot Dunkel, quickly dumped the ball off on none other than Fighting Norris star forward Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris than immeadiatly roundhouse kicked the ball to send it whizzing past Rolatian goalkeeper David Ramar. This would mark the fastest goal ever scored in a Fighting Norris World Cup match in blazing two minutes. The home crowd went nuts as the Fighting Norris pulled ahead 1-0 over a team ranked 110 places over themselves.

The half proceeded rather quickly as the Fighting Norris continually beat upon the Rolatian defense. Mr. Bednarik, the goalkeeper of the Fighting Norris was only obligated to block two shots on goal the entire half, making it one of the easiest matches he's ever played in. With the first half in the books and the second half ready to open, the Fighting Norris seemed more determined than ever.

The second half started exactly as the first half had. Fighting Norris midfielder Zach Brickhouse, soon after manuvering away from Rolatian midfielder Elliot Dunkel, quickly dumped the ball off on none other than Fighting Norris star forward Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris than immeadiatly roundhouse kicked the ball to send it whizzing past Rolatian goalkeeper David Ramar. If you think we're exaggerating when we say it was exactly like the first half... we're not. The videos of the first and second half were played at the same time and there was absolutly no difference. It still only took two minutes to score, making the only difference between the two drives the score being 1-0 after the first goal and 2-0 after the second.

The second half showed the Fighting Norris team completely on the defensive, allowing Rolatia to conduct a couple of drives only to foil each one in its own unique way. As time ran out, the fans of the Fighting Norris rushed the field, mobbing the victorious players. It truly was a Fighting Norris match for the ages.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If anyone saw the last newscast", explained coach of the Fighting Norris Bob Janney, "then you saw my hopes for our group, group 7. I mentioned that we needed to net 6 points from matchdays 6-8 despite having only two matches, and we're off to a good start on that aspect. I also mentioned that Turori, Yafor 2, or both of them needed to stop winning. This has also gone off to a good start with Yafor 2 drawing the mediocre TheSuncoastofFlorida team, who also managed to draw with us, and Turori losing to Liverpool England, which is great because it helps us catch the front of the pack but doesn't help the back of the pack catch up to us. However, The Lowland Clans recently won over The Bellmore Family, keeping them tied with us in accord with points, but beating us on a goal difference. We currently sit in fifth place with 8 points, behind The Lowland Clans, who are beating us by one goal on the goal difference, Turori, who have 10 points, putting them 2 points ahead of us, Yafor 2, who have 11 points, putting them 3 points ahead of us, and Liverpool England, who don't matter because no one's catching up to them. We have a bye next week, so the only way we can gain ground on the front of the pack is for certain things to happen in other matches. I'm positive that Liverpool England will be able to obliterate Yafor 2 at home, which is great for us because they will still be in our range going into matchday 8. Turori squares off with The Lowland Clans next week, which poses quite a predicament for us. I really hope that that game ends up in a draw, which would put Turori only 3 points ahead of us and The Lowland Clans only 1 points ahead of us, keeping them both in range for us. Rolatia will duke it out with The Bellmore Family next week, which doesn't matter too much to our success, but a draw would be great here also. Finally, Allied Anime Worlds, who are currently suffering a five game losing streak after their Baptism of Fire victory, will have home field advantage against TheSuncoastofFlorida next week, which is a vital match to us. We need Allied Anime Worlds to win... badly. If they don't win, then TheSuncoastofFlorida passes us up setting up yet another team that we have to beat out. To summarize next week up, we need Liverpool England and Allied Anime Worlds to win while the others need to draw. Matchday 8, the four matches in group 7 are Allied Anime Worlds at home against Liverpool England, Rolatia at home against Turori, Yafor 2 at home against The Lowland Clans, and we're at The Bellmore Family. We will definately be able to net a draw and probably a win, which poses even more interesting scenario's towards our qualification. Allied Anime Worlds against Liverpool England doesn't matter to us, but the other two matches do. Really, what we need most, are a load of draws. Best case scenario for us is Rolatia, Turori, Yafor 2, and The Lowland Clans all only chalking one point while we hopefully rack up 3. That would put us in the front of the pack with the other top teams, which is where we're going to need to be going into matchday 9 if we want to give a good run at qualifying. That's about all I have to say about that."

Wow... that was utterly unnecessary. The Fighting Norris have their next week off and plan to rest up for some vital matches ahead. Tune in to CNN during the Fighting Norris' bye to see our episode of "Pre-World Cup 27 Baptism of Fire participants: Where are they Now?"

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2 (Loss 1-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds (Win 4-2)
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida (Draw 0-0)
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England (Loss 2-5)
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans (Draw 1-1)
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia (Win 2-0)
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Fighting Norris Record: (2-2-2)
Chicanada
10-03-2006, 23:06
Cana City News Online


CFA Press Statements Confuse Public
Official Football agency pressing for closed door match, looking for friendly.

Posted 20 minutes ago
Colonial Assembly, Cana - CFA Presidum Jaquee Morriseete said today at the government's weekly meeting that the football association is considering making the home match against Nedalia a closed-door affair due to saftey concerns of the Depot Centre.

Morriseete appeared before the High Ministry two hours before, along with Judicial Minister Mary Allice Deveraoux, to discuss the riots caused by the National Side's surprising own-goal loss to Kelse, which led to riots throughout the nation. Neither government official took official blame for the act, but believe that stress on a team that hasn't met the high public expectations exploded.

"The FA always takes the highest precautions in keeping matches secure," Jaquee said in by far her most cognant and sober meeting ever. "The public response is more in line with the power of national desire to see the team do well, and when that doesn't occur, stress by the nation gets released in such a bad way."

The national government, having staved off a no-confidence vote last year after the Hub scandal, is already embroiled in a new scandal concerning funding of projects in the Carthage and Southall cantons, while poorer regions like Sabra and Narobi have lost projects. Some think High Minister Paul Wyatt and the Union-Liberals are trying to use the riots to pin the blame on the Mohaganist Social Dems as a dectractor and means to break up the current government and hold general elections at the end of the year.

Jaquee, regardless of the Union-Liberal motives, has stated she has sent mail to the Nedalia FA, looking to get approval to hold their match between the Kodiaks and Lions behind closed doors. "This is meant to keep all the people, players and fans alike, safe as well as avoid the damage to New Governess to occur at a major match again." There has been no response, but similar action could be used when Commerce Heights plays at the new Island Clan Stadia in Palace Heights as well as Audioslavia at the National Square. Of course, should the nation calm down during games and not riot after a major or minor loss, such talk would be suspended.

If Nedalia agrees to the closed door match, Jaquee and the CFA have set public grounds around the nations to be used as viewing grounds for all fans. Of course, Deveraux stated, police would be present throughout to keep fan violence and hooliganism from occuring. This is the main reason the nations stadias are closed for the Audioslavia away match, instead having public squares used for viewing.

In other news from the meeting, Jaquee stated that the CFA is looking to schedule a Frendly match for the teams off day, to be held at Atens' brand new Steelgounds. Home to AC Atens, the stadia will be holding their grand opening during the week the team is off and Steelgrounds Board of Directors would love a national club game held there.

[OOC: Interested in beating Chicanada at home? TG us! I'll actually find someone to scorinate the game! Note, we'd like to face someone who is not playing on Matchday 13, or a reserve National side]

Kodiak National Side Schedule (We still expect yet another 5th place finish)
MD01: W 1-0 v Pedriana (@ Moutainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD02: W 1-0 @ Ocmeoub
MD03: L 1-0 @ Commerce Heights
MD04: off day - plans for training in Kinsington
MD05: L 1-0 v Kelse (@ New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD06: W 2-0 @ Berner Street
MD07: @ Audioslavia
MD08: v Nedalia (@ Depot Centre, Cana)
MD09: v Arrida (@ Heartland Stadium, Goedi)
MD10: @ Pedriana
MD11: v Ocmeoub (@ BFC Pavillion, Bishop County)
MD12: v Commerce Heights (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD13: off day - training in Atens
MD14: @ Kelse
MD15: v Berner Street (@ Coastal Stadium, New Glasgow)
MD16: v Audioslavia (@ Southampton National Square)
MD17: @ Nedalia
MD18: @ Arrida
Wentland
10-03-2006, 23:07
So, a return to la belle Oliverry, Wentland’s gracious hosts for the World Cup 26 finals – the follow-up to the Miracle on Grass, the Mild Disappointment of Frogs’ Legs. Still it was all Good Experience and fun an’ all that.

Facing a team that played an all-out attacking style would be a challenge. Especially one that was coming off a four goal tonking by the blistering Starblaydi. (Put some money on them for the Big Cup, they’re irresistible at present.)

The team was generally nervous before this game. The previous ones had all gone as expected, save for the fright against Obsidianus, and Wentland were exactly where they should be. But this was the biggie. If they wanted to come 2nd they needed to do something against Oliverry. Goal diff was the enemy, a draw at least was required.

One man in particular had to deal with matters his own way.

“Where’s Cap?” asked Harris as the team checked into their hotel.

“Oh, you know him,” said Jenkins. “He’s off in a world of his own.”

John Capper’s unorthodox lifestyle was tolerated as he was the consummate professional when it came to training and matchplay. He was someone who could be trusted. But the Constellations were leading him on.

When Wentland came out of the hat, he had thought nothing much of it. But the remaining teams suggested that they were toying with him. He had expected this one to be the Archregimancy, but why not the AOS?

He thought the location was obvious. Their match venue. King’s Palacium. Obvious, surely! But of course the Constellations had already fooled him once and they were toying with him again. A trip to the stadium before the rest of the team got there was of no inspiration.

Glumly he left the environs and wandered down Clergy Street West. Back to the Book. Where? It was when he walked past a shop, lost in thought, that he heard the voice. “Eh bien, m’sieu, vous l’avez l’air d’un perdu…”

He stopped and turned to his addressor. A small man in a pointed hat. Hm, familiar. He was in the doorway of a shop. The shop’s name? Why, the same as his. His name? “M’sieu Levegh, à votre assistance.”

Levegh. Levegh. L’évêque? Peut-être…

He looked in the shop. Bric-a-brac. Worth a mooch. Lots of interesting stuff, nothing essential, a genial chaos. But Capper’s eyes seized on a small medal, something that looked very, very familiar.

He picked it up. “Struck to commemorate John Pearson’s winning goal in the Cup Final. 1908.” John Pearson of Kelburn. Oh, how familiar was that name to Capper.

He bought it for a few oliver dollars. M. Levegh smiled as he saw the purchased item. “Ah, m’sieu, we play zees teem in ze Ouerld Cup…well, zees country…you are from zere?” lolk’s

“Yes, indeed. Exactly from there.”

“I ’ope you like zees. I ’ope you come back to see what else I ’ave. If I geev you zees card…”

M. Levegh handed over his business card. White. Very simple.

ALFRED LEVEGH

616 West Clergy Street

Kingston

And a small logo of a bishop’s mitre on a column.

“Eet ees my name, you see. Eet ees a, what you say?, pun.”

It was the second piece for Capper. A quarter of the way there. Maybe the match would not be so bad after all.
CR Oscilloscopes
10-03-2006, 23:17
Magnificent CR shock established Cuation
CR Oscilloscopes 1-0 Cuation

The nation of CR Oscilloscopes was celebrating today, as an Üwe Ritz goal, saw the national football team overome the 48th in the world team, Cuation.

The match was a surprisingly tight affair, with CR manager Herl Werter seeming to have got his tactics spot on. Cuation, although the dominant team never seriously troubled Colin Thomasson in goal, and the further the match went on, the more the home team looked like they could nick it. The vital moment came, when in the 85th minute, a slip from Cuation 'Keeper Peter Seaman, gave thirty year old CR Oscilloscopes City striker Üwe Ritz the perfect goalscoring opportunity, which he duly took. The goal sparked scenes of euphoria in the packed stadium and amongst the players on pitch, all eleven piling into a large bundle. After being dragged from their celebrations by the impatient referee, the players managed to perform heroically in the last few minutes, to secure, surely, the most famous footballing moment in CR Oscilloscopes' history.

After the game, a delighted Herl Werter seemed lost for words in front of the cameras, but managed to convey his sheer elation at the result, and the performance of the players. Goalscorer Üwe Ritz, dripping in sweat, accepted the man of the match award graciously from the sponsors, before being set upon by teammates spraying champagne, a reward given by the government.

It certainly is a night few will forget, and a goal which will be re-enacted for years to come. The win is the second of the tournament for CR Oscilloscopes and leaves them 6th in the table, with 7 points from 6 games. Next up for the team is An Archy, and who knows what celebrations, a second straight win for the team could bring.
Rejistania
11-03-2006, 00:42
Reporter: Jeri Kis, Can I ask a few questions?
Jeri Kis: Which newspaper do you report for?
Reporter: National, Na~ovi National!
Jeri Kis: Well, okay, but only because I trust your newspaper to make things up if you don't get your stories.
Reporter: Who was that beautiful girl in your company yesterday?
Jeri Kis: And I assumed the National would ask about the match or such... She is Imike Kis, my older sister.
Reporter: Your older sister is Imira Kis, isn't she?
Jeri Kis: Imira is my younger sister, Imike my older sister.
Reporter: About the last match...
Jeri Kis: Yes, I know, I misreacted in that one situation, that is what you want to tell me. I am annoyed of this as well, I could bite my own ass if that'd make us lose. Fortunately we didn't!
Reporter: Rumour has it that you distracted in that situation by something?
Jeri Kis: Rumour has that your computer is infected by file-eating viruses. Does that mean anything?
Reporter: You're threatening me?
Jeri Kis: No, I just quoted a rumour.
Reporter: people say that you take other things too serious, which are unrelated to the national team.
Jeri Kis: Because I do have remains of a hobby, you mean?
Reporter: Yes, you program.
Jeri Kis: Xeseja Su was an amateur and surely had less time for sekhika than me. I did not think of programming or such during a game, that are two different worlds. And well, it is not as if you do need to find a black sheep today, I mean, the Orange-Blues have defeated Praying2god.
Reporter: In a very close match...
Jeri Kis: It did not look like this from my perspective, you see?
Reporter: I do not.
Jeri Kis: Well, from what I saw after the 2:1, the team emphasized on defense very well. Rejistanian teams normally do not win 4:0, the spirit of Karela is still present. *Jeri's cell phone rings* *he answers it and turns away from the storyinventor, errr, reporter* Su? ... Kis here, hejida Imike!... *he simply goes away*
Spaam
11-03-2006, 05:07
Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


Where Art Though, Offense?

Spaam looked to go all out against Priggdom, though wary of the team that
had stolen wins against better opponents. With a full strength team, and one
of the world's best defenses, thanks in main to star keeper Morwetha Jelbert,
critics could not help but favour the Waffles. And so it was going well, with
Priggdom not getting so much as a look into their opponent's goal, when a
dangerous tackle by striker Cleder Cawrse got the number six sent off with his
second red card of qualifying.

Down to ten men, the game played itself out like a nightmare for both players
and fans alike. Spaam's defense was impenetrable, but with only two
forwards, Priggdom's defense was much the same. A number of yellow cards
were given to the frustrated Waffles, including to Goss, Roskelly, and
Trewethey, but the result was the same. Final score: nil all. Coach Gee
refused to comment after the match, the team naturally disappointed in
dropping two very vital competition points.

Priggdom 0:0 Spaam


The Group Of Death

The other matches in Group 8 were not so close. Starblaydia flew to Oliverry
and destroyed the Fleur De Lis four goals to nil. Wentland flew to
Shing-Shang and destroyed the cellar dwellers five goals to one. And finally,
Obsidianus got their first points of qualifying, winning two nil at home to East
Lithuania. Haraki had a much needed bye


Oliverry 0:4 Starblaydia
Shing-Shang 1:5 Wentland
Obsidianus 2:0 East Lithuania


Starblaydia took their rightful place on top of the table, and now have the
best defense in the world currently, only letting in one goal. Consequently,
Spaam has the equal second best defense, with two goals against, and one
of those was an own goal. Oliverry slipped down to equal second, with
Wentland taking a four point lead over Spaam. Shing-Shang is proving
themselves to be the worst team in the group, their only point unfortunately
coming at our expense.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts PPG
1 Starblaydia 5 4 1 0 19 1 18 13 2.6
2 Oliverry 5 4 0 1 16 6 10 12 2.4
3 Wentland 5 4 0 1 14 9 5 12 2.4
4 Spaam 5 2 2 1 6 2 4 8 1.6
5 Priggdom 6 2 2 2 8 13 -5 8 1.3
6 Haraki 5 2 0 3 2 6 -4 6 1.2
7 East Lithuania 5 1 2 2 6 7 -1 5 1.0
8 Obsidianus 6 1 0 5 5 14 -9 3 0.5
9 Shing-Shang 6 0 1 5 3 21 -18 1 0.2

Next Week

Starblaydia will be hosting the Waffles, in a match which should dent Spaam's
defensive records. Even the hardest Spaamanian fans are predicting a loss.
Oliverry should destroy Wentland at home, East Lithuania takes on
Shing-Shang at home and should likewise win, while Haraki should make it a
clean sweep for the home teams against Priggdom. Obsidianus finally have a
bye.

Statistics

Goal Scorers

No Name G P
1 Ewa Ivey 2 5
17 Mylor Goss 2 5
6 Cleder Cawrse 1 4
4 Crewenna Roskelly 1 5
7 Colan Trebilcock -1 4

History

1 Spaam 4:0 Obsidianus W
2 Shing-Shang 1:1 Spaam D
3 Oliverry 1:0 Spaam L
4 BYE
5 Spaam 1:0 Haraki W
6 Priggdom 0:0 Spaam D
7 Starblaydia ?:? Spaam ?
Fmjphoenix
11-03-2006, 05:10
Matchday 7 scores can be found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10559320#post10559320).
Sarzonia
11-03-2006, 05:27
Portland Press Herald

Stars stay perfect, 3-1

by Jody Kirkssen
Press Herald Staff Writer

WOODSTOCK (10 March 2006) -- Sarzonia continued its streak of strong play against a group of teams widely considered the most difficult in World Cup XXVII qualifying, getting goals from Jenna Raven, Kenny Cooper, and Kenny Houlder en route to a 3-1 win in front of a sold out crowd of 59,247 at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock.

Sarzonia (6-0-0) maintained their five point lead over Krytenia for the group lead with what Coach Dave Wilson called a "textbook display" of the kind of football it made famous: Strong possession marked by short passes and an opportunistic midfield and aggressive defence.

"We're playing some of the best football in qualifiers that we've played since I've been here," Wilson said. "It's definitely gratifying to see that."

This Stars edition may not have the same names it once did with goalkeeper Horace Sandt, forward Brian Wilson, and midfielder Darwin Russell among the team's best players who no longer play for the team, but Dave Wilson pointed out this Sarzonian national football team "plays like a real team.

"We don't have any star players on this team," Dave Wilson said. "We don't have an Alan Belmore. We don't have a Syku Lyku. We don't have a Sani Luvo. We don't even have a Brian Wilson. We just have 18 guys who believe in each other and who pull for each other. I can't be happier for this team."

The Stars play host to Palacetonia in their last home match of the first half of the qualifying campaign, but Dave Wilson said the team would treat the match as a must-win, even though some in the media have clamoured for Wilson to play some of the team's depth players.

"We did that already," he said. "We played many of our depth players against Revived Constantinople. "We may give the other guys a look when we play away to Rorysville, but we're going to have another chance to play some of our players when we host that Nedalian all star team here. We may just keep our starting 11 in there for these two matches."

Wilson wouldn't respond to questions about Sarzonia's away win to Krytenia, saying "that subject's done. It's over. Buried. We don't talk about it. We'll get plenty of chances to talk about it when they come here."
Dorian and Sonya
11-03-2006, 06:05
Unicorns Earn Draw Against Squad Dressed Like Hiiraan

The Unicorns were supposed to travel to Hiiraan for their match today. But no one could find Hiiraan anymore. It was as if they had simply disappeared from the face of the earth. So instead the squad decided to visit ASMV whose Sea Dragons were away in Tadjikistan.

On some crazy suggestion by Queen Sonya, the Unicorn reserves donned Hiiraan kits and took the field to play the match the Unicorn starters so desperately wanted to play. And 1st team truly expected to thrash their understudies. But the back-ups had other ideas. And all this while only having 8 girls dressed as Hiiraan.

This was evidenced in the 13th minute of play when reserve forward Gilraen Tinúviel slipped a sweet shot past starting keeper Alassea Sáralondë thus giving the Hiiraan Unicorns a 1-0 lead. All 8 reserves the retreated back to the defensive end of the field, vowing not to let the starters score on them. And that is just what they did for the next 70 minutes. 8 in the box is quite a chore for any side to beat.

But in the 83rd minute the Unicorn regulars got their break. A free kick from just outside the left corner of the penalty box. The resulting shot was brilliantly sent into the upper right corner of the net by Altáriël Telperiën, just edging past the hands of reserve keeper Alassea Culnámo.

And that is how the match ended. 1-1. The 1 point was welcomed by the Unicorns, but the reserves feel they should also be awarded the other point from the draw.

The Unicorns now have a bye week, and as a reward for the well played match, Queen Sonya has decided to allow the squad to remain in ASMV to watch the Sea Dragons as they face Giant Zucchini.

On a side note, a fan reportedly paid $950,000 for the Hiiraan kit worn by Gilraen Tinúviel in the phantom match. That leaves 7 more up for grabs.
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
11-03-2006, 06:08
Sea Dragons Fail To Match Tiger's Roar

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network

Our Sea Dragons traveled to Tadjikistan today to take on the Tigers in what had shaped up to be a very physical match. The only problem is that the Tigers were the only squad playing that physical style, and they cruised to an easy 3-0 win.

The media focus for ASMV was how well little used reserve Serena Felice would play in place of “The Enforcer” Micah Swift. Swift of course being unavailable as he was sent off in the match against Georgeonia for an extremely rough tackle. The scouting report now reads that Felice is no replacement for swift. The Sea Dragons dearly missed the bruiser’s presence on the pitch. Time and time again the Tadjiks moved the ball easily through the void where Swift normally roams causing havoc for the ASMV defense.

“We just have to pick it up against Giant Zucchini in the next one” said coach Pao St Martinique. “We missed Micah out there today, but that is really no excuse. Tadjikistan was missing players as well.”

ASMV now sits in 4th place in Group 11. Pastorville moved ahead of the Sea Dragons after dropping Emperor Pudu 1-0. Giant Zucchini now sits alone in 5th position after earning a draw against Lovisa. You can bet they will be wanting to pull back into the race. Green Wombat did not play and the result saw them slide down to 7th in the group. The other match saw Bequeleria and Georgeonia ended in a draw as neither side was willing to admit to being the doormat of the group.

Elsewhere around qualifying:

The match of the day saw Bettia survive the Kazoo onslaught for a 4-3 victory.
Eauz cruised over Elrich 6-1
Legalese called for a medic to “revive” Revived Constantinople after a 7-1 crushing.
Praying 2God prayed much more than The Archregimancy and was rewarded with a 6-1 victory.
The surprise of the day saw Starblaydia drop to the much hated Spaam squad 0-1.

Next up for ASMV is a return home to host Giant Zucchini. The Zucchinis have been struggling a bit, but do not expect them to hand us 3 points. If we want them, we are going to have to forcibly take them. The good news is that Swift will be back in the lineup to do his damage - uh….. I meant do his part.
The Archregimancy
11-03-2006, 06:18
[OOC: I thought it would only be polite to allow Praying2God the first go at describing our match in detail - it's not every day you beat one of your closest qualification rivals, and a team ranked only 5 places beneath you, 6-1. So, P2G, all I'm going to do is set some parameters explaining why my team did so poorly. The rest is all yours.... Fire away, and have fun!]


MONASTIC TIMES

LENTEN CONTROVERSY WRACKS NATIONAL SQUAD
Only 8 Players Travel To Praying2God

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Lenten controversy over whether Archregimancy monks should be playing international football during the prelude to the Church's holiest season threatened to destroy the squad overnight as only 8 players actually travelled to Praying2God for their qualification watch. Only Fr. Justinian the Thrice-Blessed, Fr. Michael the Greater, Fr. Michael the Lesser, Fr. David the Water-Drinker, Fr. Andrew the Twice-Found, Fr. Pavel the Wanderer, Fr. Silouan of the Seventy Caves and Fr. Demetrius of the New City made the trip.

After the referee threatened to force the visitors to forfeit if they couldn't conjure up at least a ninth player to face the heretics, Coach Kyrill, Metropolitan of Solovetsky, donned a football jersey for the first time in thirty years in order to make up the numbers.

Under the circumstances, it should come as little surprise that the squad were thrashed 6-1 by the home town heretics in what this reporter believes to be a record loss for the Archregimancy national team.

Monastic Football Association HQ went into lockdown last night, refusing to answer this reporter's questions or to grant interviews to the players. However, even the most neutral of monastic football fans must realise the extent to which this controversy might damage the nation's international reputation, and it can only be hoped that a resolution can be reached soon - before we start losing 6-1 to the Footie Dream Team.
Qazox
11-03-2006, 06:40
QAZOX CITY HERALD

The Black Oxen spent thier offday playing 2012 QFL champ Graverville in an exhibition match today. While the game was not important, the cause the teams played for is. The HolyOx Charities, a charitable organization giving meals, clothes and jobs to Homeless persons received almost Z17,500,000. The game was played at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City with asell out crowd of 79,250. Tickets were Z20 each and the gate reciepts totaled Z1,585,000. The Mika Riyok foundation promised to match each ticket sold ten-to-one, thus adding Z15,850,000 to the total amount of Z17,435,000 being raised. As for the match its self, The Black OXen dominated Graverville winning 5-0. Maria Gretsky score three goals, while the Mason twins each scored a goal. Qazox resumes its WC Qualifing tommorrow @ Valertinette, who is currently one spot above us in 6th place. A win against Valertinette could move Qazox up to 4th place in the group, while a loss could send them into last place.

Matchday 7's Results and Standings:
Group 3
Eauz 6-0 Elrich
Vilita 4-0 Milchama
Tanah Burung 0-1 Valertinette
Hiiraan 1-1 Dorian and Sonya



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Eauz 6 5 0 1 20 2 18 15
2 Vilita 6 5 0 1 15 3 12 15
3 Elrich 6 3 1 2 10 12 -2 10
4 Dorian and Sonya 7 2 2 3 7 12 -5 8
5 Milchama 6 2 1 3 10 15 -5 7
6 Valertinette 7 2 1 4 3 12 -9 7
7 Qazox 6 2 0 4 6 8 -2 6
8 Hiiraan 6 1 3 2 3 5 -2 6
9 Tanah Burung 6 2 0 4 5 10 -5 6

Qazox's Qualifing Schedule

Match Day One--@ Elrich LOST 0-3
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran LOST 0-1 at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Attendence: 17,000
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya WON 2-0 at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Attendence: 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendence: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama WON 4-2
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendance: 42,000.
Match Day Seven--Exhibition vs. Graverville(QFL Champion) WON 5-0 at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Attendence: 79,250.
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
[NS]Bazalonia
11-03-2006, 08:17
"Milchamian Makes Match Magic" by Nev Gould

"Wow", was something heard in sports bars all around Bazalonia today as the Bazalopes hosted the Popolus national at TeleBaz Stadium. The Milchamian Coach that the BFSA ringed in during the Bazalopes Bye last matchday performed wonders. Finally the Bazalopes have scraped up some respectibility in a 4-nil thrashing of the Popolus team. James Kantwell, Irchov Michael where the offensive powerhouses of the match both scoring 2 goals in this whitewash of a match. James scored his goals in the 21st and 38th minutes after Andrew "The Bandit" Creek stole the ball from a Popolus forward as they pitifully made a offensive forray into the Bazalope half, who passed it onto his brother Anthony who managed to lure the marker away from James and then unto his fellow midfielder and his captain "Benny Boy" Peters. Peters quickly passed it onto James who went forward and took his shot.

This result has been laid upon the feet of the new Milchamian coach Neil Kabants. He however has dismissed the praise saying that it was all the team. The BFSA has made a good choice in sacking Caine Hawdon, Malcolm Frost & Jayne Heart and replacing them with Neil Kabants. It seems that in the short time they have been under his command the Bazalopes have turned around. The future looks bright but before we go saying this is a new era, we need to see what long term effect the new coach has. I am one are optimistic but still waiting to see how things work out.

......................

BFP, Net Crimes Building

Stan went into his bosses office...

"Sir, I think we need to get Cuation's help on this." (Stan)

"Don't tell me you've hit a dead end." (Luke)

Stan stayed quiet, with a sly smile on his face...

"Oh, haha funny man, but alright I'll write a letter. Now go I'm sure you've got something that you can do."

The following letter was drafted and sent to the Caution Special forces


To whom it may concern;

The BFP, Net Crimes division would like to thank the Cuation Special Forces for making the offer to help with the the investigation in the matter of EG Inc.
The BFP Net crimes division would like to take you up on your offer. Details of what we have currently have collated will be transported to you. As such if there is any other information that you are able to provide we would expect to hear from you.

Thank you.
Wentland
11-03-2006, 08:42
Wentland Radio transcript, OLI-WEN 94th
Bill Buckley and Jack Edmunds

B: ...everyone is up for this corner. It is Wentland's last chance...

E: Even Dez is up. Get in there, Dez.

B: Derrington is indeed up in the box...all twenty-two men are in the Oliverry penalty area, with the sole exception of Kent, about to deliver the corner...the referee has already glanced at his watch, there is pushing and shoving and he has gone over to separate the players...I hope he has stopped the clock for that...

The corner comes over...Jenkins with the header down...

E: PENALTY!!!

B: ...and is that a shirt pull?? The referee has blown his whistle and there is pandemonium here! He has pointed, not to the penalty spot, but back towards the middle...he has blown for full-time and the Oliverry players are going ballistic...they have hung on for a crucial three points...

E: They're surrounding the referee...

B: The Wentland players indeed have the referee surrounded because the linesman on this near side, a Mr Malenko of Hypocria, has his flag across his chest...he is indicating a penalty...

E: The ref's going over there now...

B:...surrounded by players of both sides, the Oliverrians have realized what is happening...Jack, I thought there was a shirt-pull on Treves, as Jenkins knocked the ball down Treves was looking to finish but Daigle back defending tugged him...the ball was then cleared and the ref blew his whistle...what did you make of it?

E: Definite penalty. The Oliverry player yanked the shirt and Treves was down...

B: Miss Hrilsdottir in charge has waved away the protesting players and is now discussing it with Malenko in private, behind cupped hands...did she see the shirt-pull or was it too late?...

E: Surely it was in time?

[Uproar from the stadium]

B&E: PENALTY!!!!

B: The referee has pointed to the spot and the Oliverry players are incandescent. They have surrounded her to a man...they thought the game was over but instead they face a penalty...Hrilsdottir is now waving around a yellow card, I'm not sure to whom she's showing it...could be one of a thousand...but it is a PENALTY TO WENTLAND...it will be the last kick of the game...can the Swifts snatch a vital point?

E: I wonder if Okey will take it? He's mint from the spot but under this pressure he might just flake out...

B: They've got to find the ball, first...it was hefted into the crowd...another one's coming from the sidelines...the protests are dying down, Bourget is almost carrying Boulanger away...and Joe Okey has indeed taken the ball. Many of the players have turned away, it is Okey versus Bellemort for a crucial, crucial point...

E: The crowd is furious...

B: Okey places the ball...there are a few around the edge of the area, Boulanger has walked straight off the pitch and Alec Harris is slumped in the centre circle, face down...

E: Capper is staring at Bellemort, psyching him out...

B: Okey looks to the referee as she blows her whistle...stuttering start to the run up...[uproar] And Bellemort goes to his left as the ball goes to his right...RIGHT in the corner...one-one...Okey has done it and the whistle now goes...and the Oliverry players immediately surround the referee again as the Wentland players go berserk...but there's no changing of mind now, it is a draw and Wentland have stolen an unlikely point...you'd think looking at the Wentland players the cup was already won...the only man on the pitch with a cool head is Joe Okey...Cap's gone off, job done...
Liverpool England
11-03-2006, 09:22
Liverpool England Federal Police charge Ford with inappropriate behaviour

Schiavone Football Federation chief Michael Ford, in Liverpool England to hear two lawsuits against him, has been charged with inappropriate behaviour after walking into court drunk and swearing. Ford, sued on harassment and defamation by two parties, also showed reporters an obscene gesture thrice.

A Federal Police spokesman confirmed that Ford had been indicted on three counts of inappropriate behaviour and one count of drunken driving, which if he is found guilty and gets the maximum sentence for all four charges Ford will face up to three months in federal jail - for his three inappropraite behaviour charges as the offences took place in an area under Federal Police jurisdiction, and up to three months in a City Centre jail for his drunken driving charge.

Meanwhile, the Terminators continued their winning run today, ending their first six games of the qualifying campaign unbeaten, with a perfect 6-0-0 record. Crna Gora Liv Eng end their first games with 5 points from 21.
Tynelia
11-03-2006, 10:57
“Hello again ladies and gentlemen and welcome back to another edition of Tynelian Soccer Weekly. As always this is Sal Spikeman and Anna Dalespin keeping you up to date on Tynelia’s World Cup efforts. Hopsitals around Tynelia have been overwhelmed after today’s game. It seems the shock of seeing tynelia score not once, not twice but three times has resulted in many Tynelians suffering various forms of heart attacks and needing to be rushed to the hospital. Our doctors have said that most should recover fully. As to the game itself Tynelia defeated the Algar States by a 3-0 score as Amy Whiteworth made her debut in net and shut down the Algar offense. So Anna, its nice to have something positive to talk about today isn’t it?”

“Definitely Sal. The day off seems to have reenergized the offense finally against an Algar States team that looked at first to be the surprise of the group but now have lost their fourth straight going into their bye. Tynelia’s ball handling seemed much crisper and the reserves who made the start seemed to have extra motivation to prove themselves to some critics who claimed that Coach Marcus O’Meara was throwing this game away by sitting so many starters.”

“Well things did finally work out. Jay Masterson finally broke through getting the first goal of the game at the 16 minute mark and his first of the tournament. Tynelia came out looking desperate and hungry for the first time in a long time and played like this was a one game playoff. The next goal came from Troy Wallace just before the half after getting a nice lead pass from Andy Martins after a steal where he outran the Algar defender to the ball and fired it past the keeper. This second goal really fired up the crowd as they saw that this was the team they had hoped to see all tournament long. From then on the noise was almost deafening in the Presidential Coliseum and the Tynelian Towels were being waved almost nonstop.

“And maybe hoping to keep the team inspired O’Meara to the shock of many viewers given his conservative game plan continued the attack in the second half. Maybe he was just trying to keep the offensive flow going to get some momentum going into what everyone is considering an impossible game against Total n Utter Insanity. In any case in the 71st minute the final goal came as Brad Collins made up for the yellow card he got in the first half for being called for a tackle on the Algar keeper though it seemed on reply that he did get a piece of the ball before he plowed into the keeper but the officials didn’t see it that way. Heading up field with the forwards he took a nice pass from Brian Kenders who feinted a pass to Masterson before sending it to Collins who was trailing Masterson on the play. Once high cross corner shot later, Tynelia was up 3-0 as the ball deflected off the goal post into the net. At that point the benches were cleared and tynelia just ran out the clock for a must win.”

“Yes it was that Sal. You know all things considered, Tynelia didn’t exactly end up doing anything more than living up to pre-tournament expectations so far. They are now 2-1-0 against the teams ranked below them. However they are winless against those ahead of them. The offensive drought has hidden that to some degree and some fans with higher expectations felt that Tynelia could steal some points from the higher ranked teams just has the Algars have done. However this hasn’t happened and so Tynelia still finds itself in the bottom half of the group.”

“But it was still good to see some offense at last. In fact according to the shots stats Tynelia finally broke the 20 shot mark with 22 in all to the Algar States 12. Quality shots were a whopping 7-2 in favor of Tynelia and we held the ball more than 11 minutes than the Algars did. It did seem at times that the Algars ran into the fatigue wall that Tynelia had hit before its own bye. Some of the players seemed tired on their side and a more rested Tynelian squad took advantage.”

“That is probably part of the reason but its more important to see the offense with fire in its eyes again. You could tell by Masterson’s reaction after his first goal that it was like a huge load had been taken off his shoulders and he played much more like the old Jay Masterson we remember from league play. Troy Wallace has been about the only forward actually playing decently and he picked up his third goal of the tournament. Brad Collins was again on the attack even if he did get a yellow on a somewhat questionable call. And lets not forget the excellent job the defensive reserves did. Amy Whiteworth was tremendous in net in pulling a shutout. Sal Prath and Reggie Moore were solid as was Donna Kent when she came in. In fact it was Kent who made the steal which started the attack ending up in Collins’ goal. Andy Martins picked up an assist on the Wallace goal so everyone who got the surprise start contributed.”

“So will they all be playing again tomorrow against Total n Utter Insanity?”

“No Sal, I don’t see that happening. The whole reason behind this move was to rest the regulars for what could be a tougher game than the Bettia one so I can’t see them continuing to sit for that game. However I do think that this game will let Coach O’Meara fell much more comfortable about giving the regulars some rest further down the tournament.”

“Fair enough Anna. So what do you think about Tynelia’s chances against Total n Utter Insanity when they come to visit the Presidential Coliseum for our next game.”

“Obviously you can’t feel too comfortable knowing you’re playing the 5th ranked team in the world. Tynelia needs to do what it did against Bettia. Play a good game defensively and hope that this newfound offense continues to do something even if they are going up against the best defense in the group so far. In fact Bettia during their upset win was the only team to date who have even scored on them.”

“Well Anna, that just might be the crazy situation Tynelia needs to surprise people. You’ve all heard of the announcer’s curse where a commentator mentions about how something has or hasn’t happened in an extremely long time and no sooner do the words leave their mouth that the event happens. So with lots of people stressing how TNUI doesn’t give up any goals and that Tynelia doesn’t score this could be the key to an offensive explosion by Tynelia.”

“You actually believe that Sal? What announcers say in the booth has no bearing on what takes place in the field. It’s not like the players can hear what’s being said. It’s just an occasional coincidence that’s all.”

“Well we’ll find out soon enough. Getting back to the other action. Total n Utter Insanity continued its shutout winning ways with a 2-0 win over Nanakaland to take control of second place and dropping Nanakaland to third. The Kazoo People put in a strong effort against Bettia was ended up being on the short end of a 4-3 scoring bonanza. The Weegies barely held on and edged New Chazovnia 3-2 to keep pace with Tynelia though Tynelia holds the goal differential edge there allowing both Tynelia and the Weegies to jump past idle Risa-Aramour in the standings. In fact if by some miracle Tynelia does win and the Kazoo People lose or tie then Tynelia can jump up to fourth in the standings making the following game against the Kazoo people a serious threat from the higher ranked Kazoo People. “

“Sal, all this is good on paper but you keep forgetting we’re playing THE FIFTH RANKED TEAM IN THE WORLD!”

“Boy Anna no need to shout. Let’s cut to the field where Dana Lee has a much happier Coach O’Meara with her.”

<footage begins to play from the stadium>

“So Coach whatever you told the team yesterday sure paid off with an impressive win today.”

“Thanks Dana. I’m just glad the team finally got their heads back into this tournament. They were struggling for a long time. Our defense was great again. Amy did a great job filling in for Vladimar and the rest of the reserves played with intensity today. It seemed to rub off on the offense so we have something to build on for the next game against the group favorites. It’ll be a fight but at least we’ve shown today we won’t just roll over and lie down for these teams.”

“So will Vladimar Malloy and the others be playing that game?”

“Definitely Dana. I do think I’ll keep Donna in the lineup though. Jeff was looking a bit tired out there before I pulled him so maybe an extra day’s rest will payoff. Also Camden is looking like he could use a bit more rest so Andy will take his spot. But Adrian, John, Vladimar and Karl will all be back in the starting lineup for us.”

“OK Coach so what’s your plan to beat a team that has only lost once and only allowed a goal in one game so far? Can the offense play like this again?”

“Don’t worry Dana, I have something in mind. Now if you’ll excuse me I actually get to tell the team I’m pleased with their game for a change.”

“Sure thing Coach. Great win.”

<camera pulls back as o’Meara walks away with a torn out piece of newspaper in his hand. Part of one corner is readable and looks to say something like “Are you a nat…” before the camera cuts off>

“There you go Anna, the starters are back and the two reserves who were the biggest help on offense remain in the starting lineup. Do you think this will work?”

“Against a high ranked team, you can pretty much go all out since no one expects Tynelia to do anything against them so all the pressure will be on Total n Utter Insanity because this is a game they’re supposed to win. If Tynelia plays a good game they should keep it close but I expect a 2-0 loss for our nationals. The defense is just too good.”

“But what about the fact that Tynelia is the only team so far to hold high powered first place Bettia to only 2 goals. Even Total n utter Insanity allowed three. That would imply that our defense is just as good Anna.”

“Yes that’s what the Tynelian fans are clinging to when it comes to thinking of an upset but they forget that we were shutout by Bettia while they managed to score twice in their loss. Its not all about defense as our team has shown. I think we can play them tough and with a rested Malloy in net and a rested defense and if they underestimate us the best scenario I can see would be a 1-1 tie. But that’s very unlikely given the quality of the opponent Tynelia’s facing. If people are looking to steal a point from a higher ranked team they’d have a better chance waiting until the team visits the Kazoo People or more likely when the Weegies come to Tynelia as we start the second half of group play.”

“Good enough, now for the weather for the game here’s the lovely Harmonie Harris.”

“Hi Sal! Hi Anna!” Harmonie exclaims beaming and waving to the duo. “It’s going to be a great beach day for the game because its in the afternoon. Temperatures will be in the 80s with a light breeze and not a cloud in the sky. I know I’ll be at First Beach and catching some rays. You might have some trouble doing that at the game because there’s no room to lie down and get good sun. But you can always try and cheer our team on. You ladies all know Jay Masterson is hot anyway so if you can make it to the beach head to the stadium and check him out! Back to you Sal.”

<camera returns to a bewildered looking Sal and Anna who’s hiding her face in her hands.>

“Thanks Harmonie. Well Anna, um you can stop now. Things finally start to look up and Tynelia now finds itself against one of the world soccer powers. Can Tynelia do what many say is impossible? Tune in tomorrow afternoon to find out as the game will as always be covered live. President Martins has already announced that all companies will only be working a half day tomorrow to ensure that everyone will be free to watch this matinee match. After the game Anna and I will be here like always for analysis and discussion of the game so until then for, Anna Dalespin this is Sal Spikeman wishing everyone a good night.”
<credits roll>
Tadjikistan
11-03-2006, 12:03
Sharipov smiles
By Simon Grinchik, part time sportsjournalist

The Tadjik Tigers were in need of a victory to catch up with the Lovisans, to whom they had lost on Matchday six, though it was not so much the loss that necessitated a win, no, that was caused by Coach Khumdin Sharipov, angry at his teams weak performance and outrageous behaviour of some players. Sharipov refused to speak in the media and told his players to keep their mouths shut, especially when asked about that 'one away match'.

And so when the Tigers got of to the Isserson Stadion to play against 'The city of the Mother Star (AKA Andossa se Mitrin Vega) they were tense. They had to win! But the omens were good; The fans had not abandoned their team yet and the opponents too were missing a key player who goes by the name 'The Enforcer' or Micah Swift.

As the Tigers quickly discovered, Swifts replacement was clearly not as enforcing as Swift himself. reserve Serena Felice had to stop Tadjikistans most dangerous, Michael Pliiev, the engine behind the Tadjik scoring machine. And as most of us already know, when facing Pliiev, one needs to bring out his best defenders and that even that is often insufficient as we have witnessed on Matchday's three and four.

Striker Daniele Priore, who replaces the injured Zyrianov finally had a chance to show his coach that he belonged to be on the starting eleven and toke every opportunity he got to score and though the Sea Dragons still had one Unami Banta-N'bai in the center of their defense, even he was bypassed with Michael Pliievs help. Priore got his shot past Conarky by putting him on the wrong foot first, Conarky dives and Priore kicks the ball into an empty goal.

The fans applauded their team and through singing they encouraged their them to make the most of it. Sharipov remained calm and did not show any emotions, even though his team was leading, he wanted to see more. And he got more as Saidomir Saradov took advantage of the void the Sea Dragons had left in the center, scoring with a hard shot against the right pole into the Vegan box.

And now the wall of ice melted, Sharipov smiled as he saw his team their their distance from their opponents, substitutes on the bench felt a relief and they broke the silence they had kept for all this time, their was a reason to be happy now. The news of Sharipovs smile spread through the stadion and even the reported focussed on it. They were so busy talking about Sharipov that they missed Pliievs first goal of the qualifications.

'Its amazing, he smiled.' was Polozkovs first reaction after the match, forgetting for a minute that they had won with 3-0. Especially for the media it was extremely important, only a coach can tell you about tactics and idea's. A Tadjik coach who does not speak to you, that is a nightmare if you're a journalist. And finally, the national coach has broken that silence saying :'Not only do I look happy, I am happy, we are catching up with Lovisa again, we won! Offcourse it aint over yet, we have to become first in our group. But the players have shown me that they want to win, and thats an attitude I can work with.' Sharipov later continued to share his thoughts: 'Priore gets another chance to prove himself against Becquerelia as I want to see him in an away match. Andreev too will have to sit that one out, Skoropadski did not surprise me but he seems to be a solid defender.'


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Lovisa 6 4 2 0 17 3 14 14
2 Tadjikistan 6 4 1 1 14 4 10 13
3 Pastorville 6 4 0 2 6 4 2 12
4 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 6 3 1 2 7 11 -4 10
5 Giant Zucchini 6 2 1 3 10 9 1 7
6 Emporer Pudu 7 1 4 2 5 10 -5 7
7 Green wombat 6 2 0 4 5 11 -6 6
8 Georgeonia 7 1 2 4 3 10 -7 5
9 Becquerelia 6 0 3 3 2 7 -5 3


Fixtures:
MD1: Stay at home, do nothing
MD2: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan W 1-3
MD3: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 2-0
MD4: Green Wombat - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD5: Tadjikistan - Emperor Pudu D 1-1
MD6: Lovisa - Tadjikistan L 2-1
MD7: Tadjikistan - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega W 3-0
MD8: Becquerelia - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - Georgonia
MD10: Stay home again, do nothing
MD11: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD12: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD13: Tadjikistan - Green Wombat
MD14: Emperor Pudu - Tadjikistan
MD15: Tadjikistan - Lovisa
MD16: Andossa se Mitrin Vega - Tadjikistan
MD17: Tadjikistan - Becquerelia
MD18: Georgonia - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Zyrianov - 4
Saradov - 4
Tulberdiev - 3
Pliiev - 1
Priore - 1
Gurchev - 1
Swilatia
11-03-2006, 13:03
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif

This is so embarassing for the Swilatian National Fotbal team. I mean, how could we havehad any result with these guys other than winning.

Well, at least we did not lose. but we still get kicked down on this rank thing. I hope we will beat our next opponent.

Well, Swilatia was fighting hard its just their defence is small and unexperienced. It was only in the last minute that the footie dream scored those goals. so late that we lready thought Swilatia would have beaten them 2-0.

Well, today does not look that good either. we will have to fight the Praying2God Warriors who defeated a team with only slightly less experience then them with a final scores of 6-1. So deos that mean Swilatia wont qualify this time either.

WCTracker
Key: Wins Losses Draws Byes
MD1 - Swilatia vs Bazalonia, 1-1, Rank 4
MD2 - Swilatia at Popolus, 3-0, Rank 3
MD3 - Swilatia at Rejistania, 0-4, Rank 5
MD4 - Swilatia vs The Archregimancy, 1-1, Rank 6
MD5 - Bye, Rank 7
MD6 - Swilatia at New Preussen, 2-1, Rank 4
MD7 - Swilatia vs The Footie Dream Team, 2-2, Rank 5
MD8 - Swilatia vs Praying2God
Jeruselem
11-03-2006, 13:15
Jeruselem Government News

Poor old Druida ...

It's World Cup 27, match day VII. Yes, more exciting things happening in Bedistan and FMJPhoenix!

Firstly Cuation had a real test on their hands. They played us, the top ranked team in Group 1. Cuation showed they could put up some kind of fight, and managed a respectable1 ALL draw against a slightly weakened Jeruselem team who had some players rested after beating NMS 4-1. Cuation are 4th and nothing is lost.

Druida are 7th and sinking like stone. Playing NMS does not help and lost 0-2 to the 2nd ranked team in Group 1. While an expected results for NMS, Druida need to get back on track or revel with the floormats.

Collonie should have beaten Kirstiriera, but scraped a 1 ALL draw. Wasted, we say as we drew and this was a chance to get 3 easy points. Despite this they stay 3rd behind the usual suspects.

CR Oscilloscopes up to 5th? WTF? An Archy lost to CR Oscilloscopes 0-1 and dropped back to 6th. CR Oscilloscopes are mount some kind of attack while An Archy have fallen from 1st to 6th in 3 games.

Atheistic Right had the bye and well, stay last.

All in all, for the top 3 - no change. Jeruselem have not lost a game but are only 4 points ahead of 5th.

Group 1
Jeruselem 1-1 Cuation
New Montreal States 2-0 Druida
Collonie 1-1 Kirstiriera
An Archy 0-1 CR Oscilloscopes


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Jeruselem 6 4 2 0 16 5 11 14
2 New Montreal States 6 4 0 2 10 6 4 12
3 Collonie 6 3 2 1 10 7 3 11
4 Cuation 6 3 1 2 9 7 2 10
5 CR Oscilloscopes 7 3 1 3 5 8 -3 10
6 An Archy 6 2 2 2 6 8 -2 8
7 Druida 6 1 2 3 5 10 -5 5
8 Kirstiriera 7 1 2 4 7 13 -6 5
9 Atheistic Right 6 0 2 4 4 8 -4 2


Group 9
Audioslavia 2-1 Chicanada
Commerce Heights 0-2 Nedalia
Ariddia 2-0 Ocmeoub
Kelse 3-1 Berner Street

What's up the the !@#$% lions? Today, they BEAT Commerce Heights 2-0 and moved back to 4th after losing 3-1 to Ocmeoub last game. This is what Jeruselem and Nedalian fans pay money for, a good win. This sort of thing happened last two world cups. We want another win next, because we want to see the Lions in group stage for this World Cup.

Other results? Yawn! Audioslavia won another game - Chicanada was the poor old victim. Ariddia dismissed Ocmeoub 2-0 and Kelse rolled with a 3-1 win over Berner Street.

Group 10
Hockey Canada 3-1 Harlesburg
Casari 2-0 Kaze Progressa
Majeristan 1-0 Magnus Valerius
McPsychoville 0-0 Crna Gora Liv Eng

Nothing to see here. All the teams expected to win, well they won except McPsychoville who were "Quiet" against Crna Gora Liv Eng (NIL ALL, aaargh). So nothing really changed.
Spruitland
11-03-2006, 14:22
Wabbits still undefeated

Spruitland 2-2 Cataduanes

Despite only managing a draw where the neutral observer might have felt they should have won the game, the Wabbits’ spirits – as well as those of the Spruitland supporters – were much more upbeat than after the 4-4 draw against Tonissia on matchday 3.

“Well duh,” goalkeeper Simon Briers says. “That draw against Tonissia was even more embarrassing than the time I woke up in the zoo, next to the baboon cage, wearing nothing but a condom. And I was drunk then, which is as valid an excuse as it gets. After the initial shame, that incident got me fame and respect, especially among elderly zookeepers. The shame of the four Tonissian goals is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.”

But for today’s draw against Cataduanes, Briers could not be held responsible. A questionable penalty kick and a splitting counter attack both left the goalie chanceless, while the Spruitland forwards only managed to convert two of their numerous chances.

“Oh well, shit happens,” was coach Cor Bensen’s summary of how pretty much everyone felt after the game. “We’re still undefeated, we’re in the lead in the group, and we haven’t exactly broken much of a sweat yet. What more can we ask for?”
Oliverry
11-03-2006, 16:18
The Oliverrian team to request investigation on the last match

After they lost their win in the 94th minute on a penalty, the Oliverrian team is going to ask the Emergency World Cup commitee to investigate about the supposedly shirt pulling event that led to a penalty. "Nobody was pulling any shirt, as far as I know" said Jean-Alan Bellemort, after checking if the level of Alan Belmore's DNA in his blood was ok. Let's take a look at the replay of the game from a camera located just up of the zone: if we check... it was a Wentlandian that actually pulled the shirt of one of the Oliverrian players. "With this, we got a good point to argue" said Jonathan Fairbanks. "I will ask the EWCC to investigate on this, as we are sure there was some bribes paid by the Wenlandian team to the referee of the match." he completed.
The Gupta Dynasty
11-03-2006, 16:40
Golden Wolves Hunting For Third

Game 3
Yafor 2 2 - Turori 2

TURORI - This was the second time the Golden Wolves had been to Turori in that many World Cups. They had been to the mushy, tropical ground, the legions of screaming fans, the banners, the shrimp (the shrimp? What shrimp?) and seen how Turori played. They had faced rain, tree, lemons, and opposing players, but they had never faced something like this. That was, they ended up with the same result that they did last time. A draw.

This was very much like the other time that Yafor 2 had been to Turori. There was tough play, physical and brutal, players flying across the wet ground, tackles, and shouting. Each side gained four yellow cards (no reds, though), the first Yaforite yellow cards of the tournament. But that was not all. Captain Gerod Flamer scored both goals, on nearly identical plays, shots ranging across the middle, but it didn't matter. They were playing a much higher ranked, more experienced team, and it didn't matter. They had got the result they wanted. A draw.

Game 5
Yafor 2 1 - Allied Anime Worlds 0

THE ZYDRAKOS DOME, AJER, YAFOR 2 - The Yaforites had had a bye day. They were preparing for the Baptism of Fire winners Allied Anime Worlds, the only team to beat World Cup veterans Haraki since their return. Allied Anime Worlds had had a terrible qualifying up to this point, languishing at the bottom of a division which included some surpises and some low ranked teams. They had only scored four goals. But they were made of grit, and came to Yafor 2 to display that.

Both team woud have their chances. But this was the Allied Anime Worlds that had played in the Baptism of Fire, bot the Allied Anime Worlds which had played in World Cup Qualifying. They were tough, hard-nosed, with Yaforite fans yelling and shouting, they played like veterans. Hales Ysilko's outside shot was the only goal scored. After the game, Golden Wolves Captain Gerod Flamer was all praise for the other side. "They played like champions." were his words.

Game 6
Yafor 2 3 - TheSuncoastofFlorida 3

THESUNCOASTOFFLORIDA - They Golden Wolves next went to a strange land with a strange name; TheSuncoastofFlorida. They were amazed to find it. They seemed to be lethargic, and tired. They played without the skill that they had had in Turori in their last game away from Yafor 2. The other team, on the other hand, looked alive, and played much like Allied Anime Worlds had. And that was not good for the Golden Wolves.

Their defense, the pillar upon which their entire team is so balanced upon, was not there. Their offense, generally dormant, but a tough offense was. Goalkeeper Deron Smithes had come down with the stomach flu, and despite that, he played. It may have taken an edge off of him. The Malar brothers each shared a goal, both coming on an elaborate sequence of footwork, and Damiel Fraten gained one in the same fashion that Hales Ysilko had the day before. But the Golden Wolves had missed out on what should have been an easy three points.

Game 7
Liverpool England 3 - Yafor 2 0

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND - It was totally expected. The Terminators had won the World Cup very recently, and were the runners-up in this tournament last time. They were a strong team, and one of the best in the entire world. And they were playing at home, against a Golden Wolves team that was at it's strength. Anyone could have predicted the result.

Three-zero. The Golden Wolves' first loss. But they wre lucky. In the second round, when they will face Turori and Liverpool England again, Yafor 2 would be at home, in front og their home crowd, with the other team facing the shouting and raging. They would be at home, protected. But first comes The Lowland Clans, a strong competitor, and ranked higher than the Golden Wolves. And the Golden Wolves must win to survive and qualify for the World Cup for the first time in their history.
Georgeonia
11-03-2006, 17:57
Group 11
Tadjikistan 3-0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Lovisa 1-1 Giant Zucchini
Pastorville 1-0 Emporer Pudu
Becquerelia 1-1 Georgeonia


Squids earn point in boring draw

The handful of Georgeonian fans who travelled to Becquerelia for
last night's game must be wondering why they bothered. Both teams
always looked more concerned about not losing than about winning,
and in the end a draw was a fair result. Becquerelia took the
lead after thirty minutes, when their lanky centre-back headed
home from a corner, following a rare period of pressure. The
squids took until the sixty-fifth minute to equalise, with pacy
midfielder Yaqoub blasting a shot home from the edge of the area,
after Majewski had laid the ball back to him. The rest of the
match paseed without further incident, and both teams' fans were
leaving the stadium before the final whistle went. The result
leaves Georgeonia and Becquerelia at the foot of the table in
eighth and ninth respectively, and whilst the squids are two
points clear, Becquerelia will leapfrog them if they win their
game in hand. After a bye tonight the squids travel to
Tadjikistan for what will no doubt be their toughest match of
the campaign so far. Tadjikistan are looking strong, last night
beating ASMV by three goals to nil. Georgeonia will have to
raise their game by a considerable amount to get anything from
the tie, although they were undoubtedly given hope when Emperor
Pudu recently held Tadjikistan to a draw, demonstrating that no
game in this group is a foregone conclusion. In other games last
night Pastorville showed their superior skill and experience in
an efficient one nil win over Emperor Pudu, and Lovisa and Giant
Zucchini held each other to a draw. The squids are within two
points of the three teams above them, but with a bye and a match
in Tadjikistan coming up, they will be lucky if that remains the
case for long.

MD01: Away to Giant Zucchini L 3-0
MD02: Home to Pastorville W 1-0
MD03: Away to Green Wombat L 1-0
MD04: Away to Emperor Pudu D 0-0
MD05: Away to Louvisa L 3-0
MD06: Home to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega L 1-2
MD07: Away to Becquerelia D 1-1
Spaam
11-03-2006, 18:55
Matchday 7: Starblaydia vs Spaam

Come and listen to a story about a man named Goss,
A poor Spaamanian striker facing a loss,
Then one minute he was kicking at the ball,
And into the net it seemed to fall...

Goal that is, Spaam one, Starblaydia nil.

Well the first thing you know ol' Goss is in heaven,
Fans said he put one over the world number seven,
Starblaydia put Menecrates up front,
But Merwetha Jelbert was being a right c...

Of a keeper that is, world class, match winner.

The Spaamanian Waffles!

Well now time was running out for the Purple Perils,
And they were attacking like a bunch o' ferals,
But the game was lost so when the time was done,
OMG Starblaydia lost and Spaam had won!

One nil. Goss in the 60th. We play Wentland next. Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Starblaydia 0:1 Spaam
(17 Goss 60)
Nedalia
11-03-2006, 19:04
The Nedalia Lions

Just When All Hope Seemed Lost

Commerce Heights – Reeling off a shocking 3-1 away loss to Ocmeoub in which the Lions were thoroughly outplayed by a thoroughly, on paper, inferior team, Nedalia started preparing itself for yet another Cup of Harmony run. But wait, not so fast…

Traveling for an away game against Commerce Heights, nothing was expected to be brought back from that match except a heavy loss. Considering the way that team had performed in the previous match, a 5-0 drubbing by their opponents wouldn’t have been out of the question. But then again, this is one of the most inconsistent teams in all of the world, and just days after their absolutely horrific loss, they managed to defeat the 24th ranked team in the world in dominant fashion. Go figure.

Both halves belonged to the Lions, with one goal coming in each. The first half goal was scored in the 23rd minute by captain Trent Hardman, and the second in the 77th minute by substitute striker Conteras, finishing off what was quite a fabulous victory for the Nedalians.

“They surprised even myself,” commented manager Brent Vent. “I was thinking we’d get this one more away game out of the way and go back home to Nedalia to regroup, but the boys came together well, and really did the job here tonight. I’m proud of them, but we still got ways to go. Fact remains, we’re still 4th in the tables, and that means Cup of Harmony. We’re only 3 points from Kelse, who are in 2nd, and we haven’t played them yet, so that’s going to be our focus. We’ve got to really get out there and show them what we’re all about.”

Premier League Stars To Take On Sarzonian Stars

It was announced that the Premier League will send its All-Star XI (who are not participating in the World Cup) to compete against Sarzonia in Woodstock during their bye on Matchday 9. The most notable additions include strikers Lumiere and Mohammed Sakker, as well as midfielders Jixson and Brobar Hellendef. The Nedalian FA released a press release stating its happiness at having come to an agreement with the Sarzonians, claiming that this will not only help a charity cause in Sarzonia, but also put forth the quality of the Premier League to the rest of the world.

“Who knows, maybe we could even get a couple of Sarzonian superstars to come play in the Premier League,” suggest FA vice-president Rolls Bentley.


Around the World Cup

Our good friends Jeruselem still top Group 1 despite their home draw to Cuation, 2 points ahead of New Montreal States, who defeated underachieving Druida 2-0 in a highly anticipated match. That puts the Druids all way down in 7th place, having taken only 1 victory thus far in the campaign. Offensively, its been the Jeruselem show, who have scored 16 goals in 6 games, and on top of that, they’ve also been the group’s number 1 defensive team, conceding only 5 goals. Barring a couple of major upsets, they should top their group easily. The battle for 2nd place, however, is pretty hot; other than New Montreal States, there is also Collonie, Cuation, and CR Oscilloscopes in contention, all separated by only 2 points. Druida will need a miracle to get back into qualifying competition, having only 5 points, currently 6 points off of 3rd place.

Yes, 21 goals. That’s over 3 goals a game. Not only that, they’re record stands at 6-0-0. Our eastern neighbors Bettia might be the most impressive team thus far in the campaign, and most definitely are the best team featuring in Group 2. They did have a hard time putting away The Kazoo Peoples at home, but finally managed to get the 3 points after a grueling 4-3 victory. They remain on top, and the feeling is that’s where they’ll be at the end of the qualifying run, with an automatic place put aside for them in the World Cup. The biggest match this matchday in the group was between 2nd place Total n Utter Insanity and 3rd place Nanakaland, with the former defeating the latter 2-0. While the first 2 positions looks to be filled by their current occupiers, the race for the playoff spot is still very much on, with The Kazoo Peoples bouncing back from a torrid start to jump to 4th place, despite their loss to Bettia. They are 3 points behind Nanakaland, and also 3 points behind them is the free-falling Algal states. They started off strong, but have since stumbled, losing to impressive but inconsistent Tynelia 3-0 in an away match. The Weegies and Tynelia both have 7 points and both are still in contention for the 3rd spot, although it would be a difficult ride for both of them to get there.

In terms of the automatic qualification spots, Group 3 might be easiest to predict. That’s because Eauz and Vilita, both with 15 points and both having won 5 games out of 6, continue to steamroll through opponents. Eauz have been slightly more impressive, scoring 20 goals and conceding only 2 on their way to 15 points, with their latest victory coming against 3rd placed Elrich, which was an astounding 6-0 win. That really puts things into perspective in terms of the difference in skill between the first two spots and the rest of the field. Vilita recorded their own impressive victory at home, defeating 5th placed (and Nedalia’s western neighbors) Milchama 4-0 in an entertaining AO derby. Outside of the top 2, however, things get heated. Currently, Elrich occupies the 3rd spot with 10 points, but surprising Dorian and Sonya (8 pts), inconsistent Milchama (7 pts), and newcomers Valertinette (7 pts) ready to pounce on any mistake that Elrich might commit. Qazox, with 6 points, might not be out of it technically, but they will have to up their performance if they want to be able to compete for that 3rd place spot as the qualifying stages comes to a close.

Group of Death? On paper, that’s what it looked like, but with Sarzonia and now Krytenia starting to pull away from the rest of the pack, its becoming easier and easier to predict the outcome of Group 4. Sarzonia, thus far, has been the most well-rounded team, winning all their matches, scoring 21 goals and conceding only 3 in the process. Their latest victory came against 3rd placed Lethislavania, with the home squad defeating their opponents 3-1. Dave Wilson has done a fabulous job with the Stars after the controversy that surrounded them, and it’s difficult not to see them as one of the favorites to take the entire thing back to Sarzonia. Krytenia started off slow, but have since managed to recapture most of their form, defeating Hypocria 1-0 in their latest match. They are 3 points infront of Lethislavania, and have begun their pull away from the crowd. It looks like Krytenia and Sarzonia will take the first two qualifying spots, with the rest battling for that 3rd spot. And Hypocria, dear old Hypocria. True, they might have snubbed the SDL for the SAAS, but they remain one of our favorites. Maybe its because we relate so well to them and their plight. They continue to underachieve in ways only Nedalia can, with their latest loss sending them down to 6th place. In front of them sits Revived Constantinople and Legalese, who defeated the former 7-1 (!!) in their latest match to throw them into 4th place. Hypocria are 3 points behind 3rd place, with the other only 1 point. Anyone of those 4 teams can take the playoff spot, but the top 2 are increasingly looking like taken territory.

One of the tightest thus far in the competition, Group 5 has the top 5 teams separated by only 3 points. Currently, our southern neighbors Spruitland top the group, but their latest slip-up against Cataduenes (2-2 tie at home) means that 2nd placed Crystalikare is only 1 point off of the top. They defeated Tonissia 3-0 at home, proving once more with the clean sheet that they are quite the defensive force. Spruitland, however, have conceded 10 goals, a worrying sign given the fact that right behind them is a team that seems to have clicked. Tied with 12 points in 3rd and 4th place lie The Solar Association and Anathematic Republics, who both still have a good chance of topping the group. Although we think its either going to be Crystalikare or Spruitland who top the group, we’re not going to even try to predict which two teams are going to take the top 2 places. This has proved to be one of the most interesting and exciting groups to watch, and our feeling is that it will stay that way till the very last matchday.

You would have expected Rejistania to dominate Group 6, but that has not been the case. Yes, they top the table, but they are only 2 points infront of 2nd placed The Archregimancy and only 3 points infront of 4th placed Rordia, whom they defeated 2-0 at home. Rejistania should remain in the same spot till the end, but The Archregimancy, favorites to qualify for that 2nd automatic spot, will have to do much, much better than the 6-1 loss they endured at the hands of 3rd placed Praying2God. The latter has had all types of bandwagon jumpers after that victory, with some claims even going as far as stating that they will unseat Rejistania from the top spot. We think its unlikely, and we would like to warn them about Swilatia and Popolus, who are 1 and 2 points behind Praying2God, respectively. This group is still wide open, with one upset enough to unseed the two favorites.

There are 3 new Liverpool England players who have joined the Premier League, and one of them is superstar striker Luis Sunderland. Liverpool England, like Sarzonia and Bettia, have an undefeated record thus far, and quite a dominating streak going on. They defeated 4th placed Yafor 2 at home 3-0, taking their goals count to 22, having only conceded 3. They look like championship material, and if this form keeps up, there will be very little stopping them from heading to the promised land. After that, it gets interesting in terms of competition. Currently, its Turori who occupy the 2nd spot, and on paper, they are the ones who should earn the automatic qualification spot. However, TheSuncoastofFlorida, who have been one of the most surprising teams in the campaign, and Yafor 2 are only 2 points behind. Despite immense potential, Allied Anime Worlds has made that bottom spot theirs, followed by returners The Belmore Family, and underachievers The Lowland Clans. None look like they will be able to take Turori out of that first spot other than the first two mentioned.

Group 8 was supposed to be all about Starblaydia. Initially, they thought their main competition was going to be Oliverry, and after they put them away 4-0, it was supposed to be clear sailing from there. Spaam, however, has other ideas, as witnessed by their impressive 1-0 victory over Starblaydia away from home. This puts 5 teams in one hell of a dogfight for first. Right now, its Starblaydia who occupy that position, but even then they are tied on points with Oliverry and are ahead simply on goal difference. Want to complicate matters even more? Wentland also is tied with the first two, with 13 points, so from 1st to 3rd, all the teams have the same points. Right behind them, with 11 points, are Spaam and Priggfom, in 4th and 5th respectively. Oliverry could have overtaken Starblaydia, but a home draw with Wentland prevented that from happening. So where do we go from here? Well, we still believe the Blades will finish top of the group, with Oliverry getting that 2nd spot and Wentland occupying the potential playoff position. But anyone who writes off Spaam is a fool, and with Priggdom playing the way they are, this could be the tightest group going into the final Matchday.

They’re doing it without style and without dominance, but somehow, Audioslavia top Group 9 with a 6-0-0 record. Their latest victory came against Chicanada, a 2-1 home win, but like most of the other matches before that, the ‘slaves were lucky to come away with any points at all. We believe they are just playing the victims to fool their opponents. This has got to be THE most dangerous team playing this time around, we kid you not, bitches. In 2nd place is the impressive Kelse, whose latest defeat of Berner Street, coupled with Nedalia’s 2-0 away victory over Commerce Heights, has put them in that automatic qualifying spot. And right behind Nedalia, in 5th place, is Ariddia, also with 10 points. Chicanada is in 6th with 9, so only 4 points separates 2nd from 6th. The top position is going to remain Audioslavian, but only time will tell who will get the 3rd and 2nd positions.

As the Jeruselem media so often reports, there really is not much to see in Group 10. Hockey Canada continues to cruise through the qualifying stages, with its latest victory coming in a 3-1 form over Harlesburg. It would seem the top 3 positions have already been decided, with Casari occupying 2nd place and Majeristan 3rd place. They have 13 points and 12 points respectively, with 4th placed Imperial Moose 4 points behind the Islamic nation. Kaze Progressa and Harlesburg must be noted as one of the big underachievers of the stages so far, and don’t look to be challenging the top 3 anytime too soon. This looks to be the least competitive group, with the only real action worth following between the top 3 teams.

The Nedalian media jinx? We said Tadjikistan were one of our favorites to win the entire thing, calling them one of the most impressive teams we have seen this World Cup. That, however, has changed. They have slipped to 2nd place after their loss to Lovisa, and although they made it up with a 3-0 victory over Andossa Se Mitrin Vega at home, they remain in 2nd, one point behind Lovisa. Pastorville, who defeated Emperor Pudu 1-0, occupy 3rd place, one point behind Tadjikistan. ASMV are 2 points behind Pastorville in 4th, in good position to continue to battle for one of those top 3 spots. Becquerelia are one of our favorite teams, despite not winning any games yet. We predict big things for them in the near future. As for now, they continue to occupy an undeserved last place.

Group 12, with all due respect, started out all about one team, but now has become a 2 team race. Squornshelous has unprecedently shifted down to 2nd place after their loss to the most overachieving team thus far, Schiavonia. Both teams recorded impressive home victories to further solidify their positions as well, with Squornshelous defeating 3rd place Kericia 2-0 and Schiavonia defeating Islands of Qutar 2-1. Kericia and Islands of Qutar, it seems, will have a long battle as to who will occupy Kericia’s current position, but outside of that, it doesn’t looks like anyone else has a chance. Jon Parkin and The Macabees might have been one of the more known names in the group, but they aren’t playing like it, and it doesn’t seem like they will be overtaking anyone to make it into those top 3 spots. Purely a 2 team race, with an entertaining battle for 3rd place.
CR Oscilloscopes
11-03-2006, 19:30
CR shock football once again
An Archy 0-1 CR Oscilloscopes

The peoples of CR Oscilloscopes were again celebrating a footballing upset, as their national team shocked An Archy, and climbed to fifth in their group.

The team went into the match against the 134th ranked team buoyed by the previous match result in which they had humbled Cuation. That time it was a goalkeeping error which let the 'Scopes in, but this time it was a piece of sheer brilliance from Üwe Ritz which decided the match.

The first half of the game was relatively even, with both sides huffing and puffing, yet failing to create. A long range An Archy shot which missed the target by a yard was the closest either team came. In the second half the game opened up more, and became more end-to end. In the 65th minute, following a smart save, CR 'keeper Colin Thomasson quickly opunted the ball upfield. As the ball spiralled down, just inside the An Archy half, Üwe Ritz flicked the ball deftly over his marker, leaving him standing. With some space, he strode forward and from 25 yards, with a second defender coming to close him down, he powerfully drilled the ball low, and into the bottom right corner of the goal, to send CR Oscilloscopes' 2'000 travelling supporters wild. From this point, CR defended deeper and deeper, to protect their lead, with An Archy piling on the pressure. The away team held on however, and almost made it 2-0 with a last minute header from a corner, which hit the bar.

After the game, manager Herl Werter was understandably delighted with his team's performance. He also admitted, that the team were now chasing a top half finish, which, he said 'Is achievable'. Man of the Match Ritz told reporters how the reaction from the team's last win had fired up the players, and how the supporters were' Adding a twelfth man to the team'.

The win leaves CR 5th in their group, however they could fall to 6th after next matchday, in which they have a bye. After the matchday off, they then face the top ranked team in the group, Jerusalem, who are undefeated and top.
Audioslavia
11-03-2006, 19:45
http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt
Chicanada Battle Harder, Audioslavia Score The Most-er

After Audioslavia's win over Commerce Heights all those months ago I, in all the excitement of the moment, looked ahead to the coming games against Kelse and Berner Street. Of course, I neglected to mention that Audioslavia first had to overcome one of the better sides of the group: Chicanada.

Fortunately for my sake, as i'm sure a barrage of piss-taking emails from .chi addresses would have been coming my way if the 'slaves had been beaten by the team I so randomly neglected to mention, Audioslavia took the victory, and maintained their 100% record, in a nervous encounter at the Silver Jubilee Stadium.

Again, and it has to be said, Audioslavia were not the better team. Just as the best team didn't win in the Nedalia-Audioslavia game, and the Ariddian encounter which saw the Ariddians have goals disallowed here and there and the Audioslavians timid and lacking confidence. Its not altogether a bad thing though, as when the 'slaves play badly, striker Arturo Vitalis plays very, very well.

The striker's seven goals have been the difference between an Audioslavia side sitting pretty on top of the league with an eight point cushion over a playoff spot, and an Audioslavia side struggling to keep up in much the same way Chicanada and Ariddia are doing now.

Chicanada looked every bit the kind of team thats desperate for wins and they came at the 'slaves quickly and incisively, Caris Grandhaus bringing a good save out of Gunnar Yngve in only the third minute after picking up a loose ball twenty-two yards out and hitting it low and hard to the goalkeeper's left. The resulting corner saw Chicanada again threaten as Petaja's poor clearance was volleyed through a crowded penalty area but caught the post, and was quickly cleared by Väinämöinen.

The story of the first half unfolded with the 'slaves trying to get a foothold in the game but, despite maintaining most of the posession, being completely unable to create any decent chances.

The second half started with the game balanced in midfield. Audioslavia finally managed to get themselves some shots on goal, the first a wasted shot from Mussorgski, the second, and by far the easiest, was clipped round the post by Fiori after being put through on goal by a gorgeous through ball from Inger Johansen. From there it was Chicanada who began pushing again, and it was in the fifty-fifth minute where they got their best opportunity. From an Ashley cross on the left Paris Ollian beautifully flicked the ball on with his heel to a waiting Grandhaus who picked his spot with a lightening volley only to see the ball clip the underside of the bar, bounce on the line and fly out. Petaja's headed clearance was directed to Mussorgki, but the 'slavian libero was muscled off the ball expertly Paul Turina. The Chicanadan midfielder threaded a ball down the right for Pjan to run on to. Pjan collected it and went to cut inside Johansen, and in a flash he found himself going towards the ground after the Audioslavian full back had tripped him. The referee had no hesitation in giving the penalty, and Chicanada took a deserved lead through Grandhaus' low, hard kick into the bottom corner.

The 'slaves battled to get themselves back into the game but their midfield was found wanting as they tried to boss the game from the middle of the park. On sixty-two minutes a casual pass from Baxter was cut out easily by Turina, who curled a brilliant long ball round to the left wing. Ollian sprinted forward on the wing as the yellow shirts started flying forward in support. A low cross was met by a first time shot from Grandhaus but the striker again found the underside of the bar coming between him and a second goal, having beaten Yngve with his first-time shot.

The same scene was to play itself out again as Chicanada broke on seventy-five minutes. History was to be repeated as, twenty minutes after they opened the scoring through a penalty, Chicanada won another spot kick. Johansen was again the guilty party and this time the referee took action, sending the full back off for pulling Ollian down when the forward was through on goal. Grandhaus again stepped up and this time drilled his shot to the goalkeeper's left. Yngve however was equal to it this time and beat the ball out past the post. The travelling fans urged their team forward in search of another goal, and centre half Jude Longfellow almost obliged with a bullet header that struck Burns' chest and was cleared upfield. This time it was Fiori who collected it and, with a turn of pace, beat the fullback Marc Patizjan down the wing and sprinted towards the by-line. Vitalis got himself some space in the area away from Materisan and Olivden and, recieving the cross at waist height with his left foot, executed a sublime piece of skill by killing the ball dead in its path, adjusting his balance and powering it towards the left corner past a helpless Garret Levison.

The 'slaves had equalised from nowhere just as they'd done against Nedalia, and just like in that game on matchday two, the 'slaves went for the winner. All of a sudden it was the 'slaves five-man midfield that was coming out on top, and the two wingers Fiori and Polsson were beginning to get the measure of their opposite numbers. Magasara made an attacking substitution, bringing off centre half Petaja and replacing him with striker Janne Jarnefelt. The number ten almost had an immediate impact as, from an inswinging corner by Fiori, he rose above everyone else and headed the ball downwards towards the far post, only denied by an acrobatic save from Levison.

With time running out it might have looked to the average fan that the 'slaves were heading for a draw, but only if that average fan hadn't seen any of Audioslavia's previous matches in these qualifiers. The Bulls have won a stupid amount of games from goals in the last ten minutes, and so it was to be here, and just as Arturo Vitalis has been the knight in shining armour for Audioslavia, so he was here. With eighty-seven minutes gone and the 'slaves piling the pressure on the Chicanadan defence, Vitalis recieved the ball at his feet on the edge of the area and layed it off for Jarnefelt who, after holding off a challenge from Turina, threaded an inch perfect ball through the defence to just in front of Vitalis. The striker checked his balance, picked his spot, and lashed the ball past Levison on the goalie's right to give the 'slaves the lead and eventually the game.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 2 (Vitalis 79, 87)
Chicanada 1 (Grandhaus 55)

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 6 6 0 0 13 5 8 18
2 Kelse 6 4 1 1 12 7 5 13
3 Commerce Heights 6 3 1 2 9 5 4 10
4 Nedalia 6 3 1 2 13 11 2 10
5 Ariddia 6 3 1 2 10 9 1 10
6 Chicanada 6 3 0 3 5 4 1 9
7 Berner Street 7 1 2 4 6 11 -5 5
8 Ocmeoub 7 1 0 6 5 15 -10 3
9 Pedriana 6 0 2 4 5 11 -6 2

After six victories of various degrees of comfortablilitude (fuck off), the 'slaves are still sat on top of the group and are looking, on paper at least, extremely good. The suprise package of group nine is Kelse who got themselves another win, this time against Berner Street. Nedalia's impressive win over Commerce Heights, coupled with Ariddia's return to form, has blown the rest of the group wide open, with only one point seperating third from sixth, and either of the four teams are surely able to catch Kelse in second. If Audioslavia maintain their winning ways then its anyones guess which of Kelse, Commerce Heights, Nedalia, Ariddia and Chicanada make the second automatic qualifying place and the playoff place.
Mr Chuck Norris
11-03-2006, 20:26
Chuck Norris News
Pre-World Cup 27 Baptism of Fire Participants: Where are they Now?

As promised, due to the Fighting Norris being on bye, our show today will review each team of the Pre-World Cup 27 Baptism of Fire's performance in both the Baptism if Fire and current World Cup to ultimatly see which Baptism of Fire team is doing the best in this World Cup.

Rejistanian Region

Qazox
Baptism of Fire
Lost to eventual victors Allied Anime Worlds 1-2 AET (1-1 at FT) in the Regional Semifinals (Elite Eight).
World Cup 27
Currently sit in seventh place in group three with a record of (2-0-4)(.333).

Green Wombat
Baptism of Fire
Lost to eventual victors Allied Anime Worlds 0-1 in the Regional Finals (Final Four). Proceeded to beat Becquerelia 2-0 in the Third Place Playoff, earning them the title of Third Place in the Baptism of Fire.
World Cup 27
Currently sit in seventh place in group eleven with a record of (2-0-4)(.333).

Rorysville
Baptism of Fire
Failed to qualify out of Orange Group.
World Cup 27
Currently occupy last place in group four with a record of (1-0-6)(.143).

Tynelia
Baptism of Fire
Lost to Green Wombat 1-3 in Regional Semifinals (Elite Eight).
World Cup
Currently sit at sixth place in group two with a record of (2-1-3)(.417).

CR Oscillosopes
Baptism of Fire
Failed to qualify out of Orange Group.
World Cup 27
Currently sit in fifth place of group one with a record of (3-1-3)(.500).

Atheistic Right
Baptism of Fire
Lost 1-2 to eventual victors, Allied Anime Worlds in Regional Quarterfinals (Sweet Sixteen).
World Cup 27
Currently sit in last place in group one with a record of (0-2-4)(.167).

Allied Anime Worlds
Baptism of Fire
Won the whole tourney by beating Haraki 1-0 in the finals.
World Cup 27
Currently occupy last place in group seven with a record of (0-0-6)(.000), remaining one of the two teams still failing to strike either a win or a draw (The New Chakovnia in group two being the other).

Berner Street
Baptism of Fire
Failed to qualify out of Blue Group.
World Cup 27
Currently sit in seventh place of group nine with a record of (1-2-4)(.286).

Vuam and Isma
Baptism of Fire
Lost to Tynelia 0-1 in regional quarterfinals (Sweet Sixteen).
World Cup 27
Currently sit in seventh place of group four with a record of (2-1-3)(.417).

Risa-Aramour
Baptism of Fire
Lost to Green Wombat 1-3 in regional quarterfinals (Sweet Sixteen).
World Cup 27
Currently are in eighth place in group two with a record of (1-2-3)(.333).

Mr Chuck Norris
Baptism of Fire
The Fighting Norris were only able to roundhouse kick themselves to a loss 0-1 to Qazox in the regional quarterfinals (Sweet Sixteen).
World Cup 27
Currently on bye week, they sit in fifth place of group seven with a record of (2-2-2)(.500).

Nebuleux
Baptism of Fire
Not only failed to qualify out of the Blue Group, but failed to score a goal.
World Cup 27
Currently sit in eighth place of group eight with a record of (1-1-5)(.214).

Legalese Region

Imperial Moose
Baptism of Fire
Lost 1-2 to eventual runner-ups Haraki in the Regional Quarterfinals (Sweet Sixteen).
World Cup 27
Currently living large at fourth place of group 10 with a record of (2-2-2)(.500).

Kelse
Baptism of Fire
Lost to Becquerelia 0-1 in the Regional Semifinals (Elite Eight).
World Cup 27
Currently set to qualify, loving second place in group nine with a record of (4-1-1)(.750).

TheSuncoastofFlorida
Baptism of Fire
Failed to qualify out of Black Group.
World Cup 27
Currently set to go to the qualification playoff, resting in third place of group seven with a record of (3-2-2)(.571).

Algal states
Baptism of Fire
Lost to Becquerelia 0-2 in the Regional Quarterfinals (Sweet Sixteen).
World Cup 27
Currently sitting in fifth place of group two with a record of (3-0-4)(.429).

Priggdom
Baptism of Fire
Not only failed to qualify out of the Black Group, but also failed to score a goal.
World Cup 27
Sitting in fifth place of group 8 at the time, sporting a record of (3-2-2)(.571).

Obsidianus
Baptism of Fire
Lost to eventual runner-ups Haraki 0-1 in the Regional Semifinals (Elite Eight).
World Cup 27
Sit in eighth place in group eight with a record of (1-0-5)(.167).

Spaamanian Plijous
Baptism of Fire
Failed to qualify out of the Red Group.
World Cup 27
Sit in eighth place of group twelve witha record of (1-1-5)(.214).

Haraki
Baptism of Fire
Runner-up after losing to Allied Anime Worlds 0-1 in the finals.
World Cup 27
Sit in seventh place of group eight with a record of (2-0-4)(.333).

Becquerelia
Baptism of Fire
After losing to Haraki 1-2 AET (1-1 after FT), lost to Green Wombat 0-2 in the Third Place Playoff, giving them fourth place overall.
World Cup 27
Sit in last place of group eleven with a record of (0-3-3)(.250).

Popolus
Baptism of Fire
Lost 1-5 to Kelse in the Reigonal Quarterfinals (Sweet Sixteen).
World Cup 27
Sit in sixth place in group six with a record of (2-2-3)(.429).

Georgeonia
Baptism of Fire
Failed to qualify out of the Red Group.
World Cup 27
Sit in eighth of of group eleven with a record of (1-2-4)(.286).

New Preussen
Baptism of Fire
Lost 1-3 to Obsidianus in Regional Quarterfinals (Sweet Sixteen).
World Cup 27
Sit in seventh place of group six with a record of (2-0-4)(.333).

Analysis

Best to worst finish in Baptism of Fire
1) Allied Anime Worlds
2) Haraki
3) Green Wombat
4) Becquerelia
5) Qazox
6) Obsidianus
7) Tynelia
8) Kelse
9) Atheistic Right
10) Imperial Moose
11) Risa-Aramour
12) Algal states
13) Mr Chuck Norris
14) New Preussen
15) Vuam and Isma
16) Popolus
17) TheSuncoastofFlorida
18) Berner Street
19) Spammanian Plijous
20) CR Oscilloscopes
21) Priggdom
22) Rorysville
23) Nebuleux
24) Georgeonia

Best to worst perfomance so far in World Cup 27
1) Kelse
2) TheSuncoastofFlorida
3) Priggdom
4) Imperial Moose
5) Mr Chuck Norris
6) CR Oscillosopes
7) Algal States
8) Popolus
9) Tynelia
10) Vuam and Isma
11) Qazox
12) Green Wombat
13) Haraki
14) New Preussen
15) Risa-Aramour
16) Berner Street
17) Georgeonia
18) Becquerelia
19) Spaamanian Plijous
20) Nebuleux
21) Obsidianus
22) Atheistic Right
23) Rorysville
24) Allied Anime Worlds

Doing best to worst in World Cup 27 compared to Baptism of Fire (Most Improved)
1) Priggdom
2) TheSuncoastofFlorida
3) CR Oscillosopes
4) Mr Chuck Norris
5) Popolus
6) Kelse
7) Georgeonia
8) Imperial Moose
9) Algal states
10) Vuam and Isma
11) Nebuleux
12) Berner Street
13) New Preussen
14) Spaamanian Plijous
15) Rorysville
16) Tynelia
17) Risa-Aramour
18) Qazox
19) Green wombat
20) Haraki
21) Atheistic Right
22) Becquerelia
23) Obsidianus
24) Allied Anime Worlds

And Finally...

Best Overall Performance by a Rookie Team (That was in the Baptism of Fire)
1) Kelse
2) Imperial Moose
3) Haraki
4) Green Wombat
5) Qazox
6) Tynelia
7) Mr Chuck Norris
8) Algal states
9) TheSuncoastofFlorida
10) Becquerelia
11) Popolus
12) Priggdom
13) Allied Anime Worlds
14) Vuam and Isma
15) Risa-Aramour
16) CR Oscillosopes
17) Obsidianus
18) New Preussen
19) Atheistic Right
20) Berner Street
21) Spaamanian Plijous
22) Georgeonia
23) Nebuleux
24) Rorysville

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looking at the results, coach of the Fighting Norris, while lounging in his mansion, had this to say:

"We'll, it says we're the seventh best rookie team overall this year and I like that. I beleve that all of the teams listed above us have performed better overall and all of the teams below us have performed worse overall. It also says that we're the fourth most improved rookie team since the Baptism of Fire, which I also agree with. Looking at this chart, I certainly have a newfound respect for Kelse, who have been dominating as a rookie. That's all I have to say, I'll talk to you after our next match against The Bellmore Family".

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2 (Loss 1-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds (Win 4-2)
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida (Draw 0-0)
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England (Loss 2-5)
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans (Draw 1-1)
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia (Win 2-0)
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Fighting Norris Record: (2-2-2)
New Montreal States
11-03-2006, 20:53
PALADINS PICK ONE UP IN THE MIDFIELD

Maddening inconsistency continues as NMS gives a brilliant performace in 2-0 win over Rainbows

NEW MONTREAL - In yet *another* match at the Paladin Dome, fans flocked to watch a matchup between two of the finest midfield-based systems in the world. They emerge undisappointed, as Jacques Toussaint and Charles Pilon spearheaded the Paladins in a 2-0 win over the Rainbows of Druida.

The match began fairly evenly matched, with Toussaint and Pilon breaking up Druidan rallies in the midfield and the Rainbow backs keeping Villeneuve and Labranche from getting anything done in the Rainbows' third. Keeper Chasson picked up three saves as the Druidans managed to break through the middle, only to be beaten back as time ran down on the half.

The second half showed a Druidan side worn down by the noise of the Dome and pep of the Paladins side while NMS picked up a second wind. Toussaint notched his second goal of the qualifiers at 48 minutes to put the Paladins up 1-0. The Rainbows couldn't get a decent attack together, as Andy Gordon and Pilon dropped back to augment the defense and blunt the Druidan onslaught. Paul Chan got open downfield and a pass from Gordon in the backfield gave him his first goal of the tourney to put the Paladins up 2-0. Branstone then shifted the entire system to a 4-6, bringing Villeneuve and Labranche down to the midfield, where Villeneuve showed signs of brilliance on midfield.

So is the memory of the 4-1 thumping at the hands of the Crusaders completely erased? "Nope," said William Branstone, head coach of the Paladins. "And the way this tournament has been going, who knows which Paladins side will show up tomorrow?"

PALADINS 2 - Toussaint 49, Chan 70
DRUIDA 0 - None

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 4
Toussaint 2
Chan 1
Gordon 1
Labranche 1
Pilon 1

IN OTHER NEWS

Local favorites and prospective co-host The Archregimancy finally had Great Lent catch up to them, falling 6-1 to Praying2God as a majority of the team refused to travel to the evangelical Protestant nation during Lent. NMS Patriarch Jean XVI has announced that he will grant leave to compete to any player who has doubts as to the validity of competition during Lent.

The Ministry of Morale has raised public questions as to the reasoning behind scheduling 7 of 9 home matches for second seeds in the first half of qualifying, saying that this might put those teams at an unfair disadvantage during the home stretch of the tourney.
Becquerelia
11-03-2006, 21:15
(OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? We wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:

http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/georgeonia.gif Georgeonia - (1)________(1) - Becqureliahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gif


BECQUERELIA SCORES TIE IN DIFFICULT TIMES
Team Hopes Return To Normalcy Is In The Cards


Roentgen (JNS) -Becquerelia took to the field with two of their best players in police custody, and earned a 1-1 tie against Georgeonia.

"We're just trying to play football here. We've had some distractions, and they are on our minds, but we've got to play football. And that's exactly what were doing." said Head Coach Macarius Ransome at the post-game press conference.

The game was best described by the Georgeonian press, when they said that: "both teamsalways looked more concerned about not losing than about winning." Becquerelia, while breaking in two brand new starters on the field, seemed little inclined to bringing the ball upfield, and only started a serious offensive attack around the 25 minute mark.

This attack payed off in the 30th minute, when after a corner kick by midfielder Ambrose Wainwright, Defender and Captain Christopher Fullbright scored his first international goal on a header. A obviously stunned Fullbright declined to speak at the post-game press conference, Coach Ransome described him as "too shocked to speak to the press at this time."

But after the score, the team reverted to their defensive form, and seemed content to sit on their lead. But his wouldn't last, as in the 65th minute, Georgeonia's midfielder Yaquob scored. For the rest of the game, the two teams tried to get a offensive assault under way, but had trouble gaining any traction.

Said Forward Peter Constantine, "I think this game showed that we can be resiliant. We've played tough against the group leader, and we played tough today under crummy conditions. That first win is right around the corner, it has to be."


Becquerelia's Current Results and Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS

MD01: Becquerelia - 0 Pastorville - 2
MD02: Becquerelia - 0 Green wombat - 1
MD03: Emporer Pudu - 0 Becquerelia - 0
MD04: Lovisa - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD05: Becquerelia - 0 Androssa Se Mitrin Vega - 2
MD06: BYE
MD07: Georgeonia - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD08: Tadjikstan (4-1-1) at Becquerelia (0-3-3)
MD09: Becquerelia (0-3-3) at Giant Zucchini (2-1-3)
MD10: Pastorville (4-0-2) at Becquerelia (0-3-3)
MD11: Green wombat (2-0-4) at Becquerelia (0-3-3)
MD12: Becquerelia (0-3-3) at Emporer Pudu (1-4-2)
MD13: Becquerelia (0-3-3) at Lovisa (4-2-0)
MD14: Androssa Se Mitrin Vega (3-1-2) at Becquerelia (0-3-3)
MD15: BYE
MD16: Becquerelia (0-3-3) at Georgeonia (1-2-4)
MD17: Becquerelia (0-3-3) at Tadjikstan (4-1-1)
MD18: Giant Zucchini (2-1-3) at Becquerelia (0-3-3)
Praying2God
11-03-2006, 21:34
OOC: I take it my note in the Discussion thread that my computer was acting up, so I wasn't going to be on here as much didn't get much attention. Thanks to The Archregimancy for letting me have so much freedom with this match. I'll admit that the lopsidedness of the score shocked me too. Hopefully you'll rebound nicely in your next match.

IC:

FIRST HAT TRICK IN WARRIORS HISTORY LEADS TO RECORD VICTORY

With the way the Warriors had been playing, you had to figure that if there was going to be a rout in the House of Prayer yesterday, it was going to be performed by The Archregimancy. However, only nine players suited up for The Archregimancy, and the results weren't pretty...for them, anyway. Once the Warriors finished shaking the dust off their feet, the final was 6-1 Warriors, which is the Warriors largest ever margain of victory, and also believed to be the largest margain of defeat for an Orthadox nation. Thomas Larson scored a natural hat trick in the first half before coming out of the game at halftime. First, he scored in the 3rd minute on a beautiful give-and-go play with Kelly Carter. His second goal came in the 18th minute, on a breakaway started by Claire Paulson. The hats went flying towards the field only 15 minutes later, as in the 33rd minute, Alissa Madison's cross found the back of the net by way of Thomas' head. Brittany Law scored off of a corner taken by Christine Holly in the 44th minute to expand the halftime lead to 4-0. The Warriors made their maximum number of substitutions at halftime. Thomas got to enjoy the rest of the match from the bench, as Amy Elder made her first appearance in a match. Ashley Gore and Sarah Larson joined Thomas on the bench, being replaced by Sarah Toliver and Susan Walker respectively. Sarah Toliver didn't wait long to prove that her goal against New Montrea States in the Warriors final match of WC XXVI group play was no fluke, taking a cross from Haley Erickson in the 53rd minute and squeezing it into the net for a 5-0 lead. The Archregimancy finally cracked the scoreboard in the 66th minute. However, the Warriors seemed to be reawaken by that, and Elder made her debut a memorable one by finishing the scoring in the 77th minute on a breakaway started by Stephanie Vickner. It was the first-ever point scored by Erickson, Elder, and Vickner, as well as the first qualifying point scored by Toliver. The Warriors still have no margain for error, as they have two teams breathing down their necks for third. You can also expect that, despite whatever distractions the number of women on the Warriors team may cause in the return match, that The Archregimancy is going to come to play in that match.


Praying2God 6 T. Larson (3, 18, 33), Law (44), Toliver (53), Elder (77)
The Archregimancy 1 <player> (66)
Chicanada
11-03-2006, 21:42
Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Home to Kodiak and Snow Leopard News

Noose Tightens On Kodiaks
CFA Threat Gets Closer To Fruition After 2-1 Pounding By Audioslavia

Eastentown - In case the national team thought the CFA was kidding, Jaquee had some strong words after Audioslavia showed how to play footy.

Win, or say goodbye.

The CFA officially issued a warning to the National Team, stating in no uncertain terms the team must finish 3rd or better to avoid having the entire franchise dismantled and seeing the Kodiaks yanked from all international competitions for an undertermined amound of time - with some speculating no team would be fielded until World Cup 30 at the earliest. Mind you, this doesn't include regional competitions such as the AOCAF Cup or club tournaments, but would only allow women teams to compete in the Ylompics and Olympics.

With scandal and conflict between the Union-Liberal and MSDP spilling onto the field, the MSDP-ran CFS and CFA stated that the utter failure to convert on numerous attacks and the teams collapse against the more powerful Audioslavia side down the stretch - seeing a needed point slip through in the final minutes of the game. Considering the complaints many squads have with the National side pulling players from the team, most clubs are utterly thrilled with the propects of the Mens team being dismantled to allow more competition within the CFL as well as meeting public demands for success now or see the team yanked.

Caris Grandhaus was the only bright slot, as he scored the lone goal for the Kodiaks after several tries and botched missed in the 55th minute. The team pretty much played the game like that - rather sloppy shots missing the post entirely while allowing plenty of openings to allow Audioslavia players to slide through and attack. While the home side looked calm and collected throughout the game, Yerevan Malli's Marginal Diamond plan looked completely in disarry and cracks in the side's performance were on full display. Easily outclassed and outplay, the Kodiaks looked lucky to have even scored in the 55th minute and should be thankful Paris Ollian was able to plock most of the attacks from Audioslavia, considering how horrid the defense played the entire match.

Malli took all the blame for the poor performance, saying that the distractions from Chicanada had nothing to do with the loss. "We played poorly and need to regroup, since we have a tough stretch down the way." He did say Pjan is expected to start in the grudge match game against Nedalia, who's comming off a Commerce Heights upset and is expected to run all over the Kodiaks at the Depot Centre.

Olani Pjan was kept on the reserve side for the meeting, claiming a groin injury but most expecting the CFA is pressuring Malli to remove her from the team after The Disaster.

Captain Goalkeep Paris Ollian criticized the CFA decision after arriving in Cana for their game against Nedalia, saying that "just pull us out now if you have that little faith in us. We've played our hearts out and we're in a loaded group. No, we're not going to make the Finals every year but removing us from international competition to just win votes in the general elections is bullshit and underhands all the success and pride the team has earned in the few years we've actually been on the international stage."

Former Captain Jude Westington, interviewed out in Krytenia where he currently resides, said that the CFA was being too hasty and blames the poor academy structure, as well as politics, for the Do-Or-Die Note. "The team has played excellent under Malli, and the fact they've even been close to Audioslavia or [Commerce] Heights shows the growth the team has had.

Regardless, no one has hopes of an upset against Nedalia, with most figuring a 3-1 loss is entirely likely. To the surprise of everyone, and mostly due to the somber mood ot the crouds at the viewing centers, the Depot Centre will be open to fans for the game. Just don't expect too many, as only 17000 tickets have been sold for the 84000 seat stadia before the match. Most expect that to be a common occurence as the Kodiaks continue their death march to nonexistence.

Kodiak National Side Schedule (Maybe we can finish 6th! That's a change!)
MD01: W 1-0 v Pedriana (@ Moutainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD02: W 1-0 @ Ocmeoub
MD03: L 1-0 @ Commerce Heights
MD04: off day - plans for training in Kinsington
MD05: L 1-0 v Kelse (@ New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD06: W 2-0 @ Berner Street
MD07: L 2-1 @ Audioslavia
MD08: v Nedalia (@ Depot Centre, Cana)
MD09: v Arrida (@ Heartland Stadium, Goedi)
MD10: @ Pedriana
MD11: v Ocmeoub (@ BFC Pavillion, Bishop County)
MD12: v Commerce Heights (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD13: v Yafor 2 (exibition game @ Steelgrounds, Atens)
MD14: @ Kelse
MD15: v Berner Street (@ Coastal Stadium, New Glasgow)
MD16: v Audioslavia (@ Southampton National Square)
MD17: @ Nedalia
MD18: @ Arrida

In more pleasant news, the CFA announced that Chicanada will meet Yafor 2 in a exhibiton match to open up the brand new Steelgrounds in Atens. The match should be exciting as well as profitable, since the new 65,000 seater could bring a lot of money and new visitors to the island canton Atens resides on. It will also be a last gasp attempt to prepare before the revenge match against Kelse...as well as probably a last hurrah before the team gets folded.
Becquerelia
11-03-2006, 22:04
(OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? We wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)

And we turn back around to see what's ahead:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/tadjikistan2.gif Tadjikistan____at____Becqureliahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gif


TADJIKISTAN HEADS TO ROENTGEN
Becquerelia Adds Two To The Roster


Roentgen (JNS) - Tadjikistan, currently second in Group 11, heads to Phaeton Stadium to play Becquerelia. And just in time for the game, Becquerelia announced two additions to the National Team. The first is Midfielder Ebrahim Borhani. Borhani is thirty-one years old, and is the captain of Selane FC.

"It's a great honor to be named to the National Team. I understand fully that I am going to sitting on the bench for a while until I get used to the National Team's style of play, but it's a small price to pay for the opportunity." said Ebrahim at the introductory press conference.

The second is Defender Blaise Rouillard, fresh out of Becquerelia's U-21 World Cup Team. The twenty-one year old Rouillard is currently a student at Alevras University in Coquelicot, Peregrine, and is working toward a degree in Hearing and Speech Sciences.

"This is really exciting. Playing in the U-21 World Cup was something, and this is something else really." said Blaise at the press conference. He paused, then continued. "I know that didn't make much sense, but that's how I feel."

When asked about joining the team just before what should be a tough game against Tadjikistan, Ebrahim said, "The National Team played Lovisa to a draw, and Lovisa beat Tadjikistan, so we should play Tadjikistan tough." Blaise agreed with Ebrahim, adding "I won't be playing, Ebrahim won't be playing, but we'll be cheering as hard as anyone else out there for our teammates."

It should be a tough game, seeing how Tadjikistan has scored 14 goals in their six games, allowing only four goals in that span. Meanwhile, Becquerelia has only scored twice. However, both those goals were at home, and they seem to play better at Phaeton Stadium, earning three ties in three games at their home field.

"We seem to play better at home, no doubt about that." said defender Stephen Grohl. "It's always a packed house, their screaming their hearts out, singing February Stars and the whole bit. They definitly add something to our play. Hopefully, we can win one at home for them, and win one soon."

When asked if he would predict a win against Tadjikistan, Grohl refused to comment furthur.
Kelse
11-03-2006, 22:16
Mariners win at Chicanada, and at home against Berner Street!
Saint-Monica, KEL - The Mariners have truly come back after their dreadful loss to Commerce Heights to win an unimpressive match against Chicanada on their home field and against Berner Street in Saint-Monica! In Chicanada, the Mariners scrapped a win thanks to an own-goal by Chicanada. After a Bye, the Kelsian National Football Team was home at Stade du Pacifique, where after an exciting pre-game began with the usual display of anthems amidst a record crowd of 40,000, they came on top of Berner Street 3-1.

The Kelsians were on top against the Berner Streetians early at the beginning of the first half, which led to their first goal at the 15th minute by forward Julio Espinoza. The crowd went wild, and the game continued with another goal that came from a corner kick in the 25th minute, by forward Carlos Santena. The ball from then on stayed in the middle of the pitch until at the 42nd minute Mateo Ferraro made a fast-break past Streetian Defenders, and a kick from the goal box sent the Mariners up 3-0 to close up the first half.

At the half, popular band Arrêté once again performed for the crazy fans, who enjoyed a ten-minute concert on the pitch. After a quick clean-up, the second-half began, with all Kelsian substitutes on the field, much like their win at Ocmeuob.

The next half went by rather tediously. Although controlled by Kelsian subtitutes, the Mariners didn't do much except for making sure the Streetians didn't lose a goal. This failed, as in the 75th minute a Streetian forward made it past defener Polo Hidalgo to score the last goal of the match. At exactly 92 minutes, the game was over, and the Mariners once again won 3-1.

The two wins brought Kelse to position 2 in Group 9, below Audioslavia and right above Commerce Heights, Nedalia, and Arridia, all three whom Kelse leads with a 3-point differential. Kelse will take on first-place Audioslavia tomorrow, whom most likely will defeat the Mariners. Everyone in Kelse, however, is hoping for a draw against Audioslavia, which will keep Kelse at position 2. Tomorrow's matches, with Kelsian predictions, are listed below.

Arridia @ Commerce Heights (0-2)
Nedalia @ Chicanada (1-1)
Ocmeuob @ Pedriana (2-1)

After talking with Coach Centino at the post-game conference, he said, “We don’t have a very good chance at beating Audioslavia, after all their one of the highest ranked teams out there. Our best chance is to get a draw, hopefully we can draw… Our if we don’t, at least we can try to lose with a small score… but we’d rather draw. That would be good.”

Kelse will play its sventh WC 27 qualifying match against Audioslavia at home tomorrow, which will be broadcasted live across the country on Athletica De Lux, channel 15 in the greater Saint-Monica area. Elsewhere, please check your local listings. Tickets for the game are completely sold out.

Tonight for now, and Go Mariners!
Starblaydia
11-03-2006, 22:35
When Will I, Will I Be Famous?
Starblaydia inspire Spaam to crap poetry

Luke or Matt? We're not sure, and can't be arsed to check, either. Some guy named Goss. Mylor Goss, apparently, the coffee boy in the newsroom has just told me.

Anyway, despite fifty-five thousand screaming Corinthians, the men from Spaam were just a little too good for Starblaydia last night, shutting them out - so the saying goes - and even daring to score a goal against the men and women in white and purple. Though Starblaydia still remain top of the Group Eight tree by virtue of their 4-0 demolition of Oliverry, who were held by Wentland 1-1 yesterday, it is only through goal difference.

After not-so-tough and tough games against the other seeds in this Group, Starblaydia will 'warm down' before their bye match with games against Haraki and Priggdom. Six points are expected, along with perhaps that many goals.

Final Score from Silverlands, Corinth:
Starblaydia 0 - 1 Spaam
(None) - (Goss 60)
Spaam
11-03-2006, 22:44
OOC: Its a parody of the Beverly Hillbillies damnit! :p
Wentland
11-03-2006, 22:56
“WHERE THE F*** IS OKEY???!!”

The Wentland dressing-room was not a happy place as the mercurial right-back had gone missing. Yet again. He’d wandered out of the dressing room apparently in search of a “vibe” about 2 hours before and had not returned.

Just as Bluff was making plans to reshuffle his back line, Okey returned, looking vaguely pre-occupied.

“And where have we been, Mr Okey?” asked Bluff, sarcastically.

“The weirdest thing happened. I went for a quick bike ride, and seemed to be in some sort of street race, and won. Then this guy who had come second chased after me with a wrench with his mechanic.

“I was running away and got trapped by this wall, when the whole world seemed to crumble around me and I found myself in a corridor. I was banging from wall to wall and sweating when I broke through this door and ended up in some chick’s bedroom.

“She took me to a church filled with mannequins and I realized I had to get back here to play.”

The squad was staring open-mouthed at the number 2. Someone had to break the silence.

“Am I playing then?”

***

As the team was assembling in the tunnel before yet another crucial game, a World Cup official handed a letter to Edgar Bluff. He opened it and glanced at it…and then froze solid.

Emergency World Cup Committee
World Cup House, Eagle Street, Vanguard, Fmjphoenix V1 1AL
Direct line: +00 445 1 250 0000
Direct fax: +00 445 1 250 0100

Dear Sir

Oliverry v Wentland World Cup 27 qualifier (“the Match”)

We refer to recent correspondence received from the Association Oliverriene de Football (“AOF”). Please find a copy enclosed.

In the 94th minute of the Match, the assistant referee Mr Malenko flagged for an infringement in the Oliverry penalty area. From the report of the referee, Ms Hrilsdottir, it is evident that Mr Malenko considered he had seen an incidence of shirt-pulling contrary to Law 12 of the official Laws of Football. The particulars of the incidence are that M Daigle of Oliverry pulled on the shirt of Mr Treves of Wentland.

On a review of videotape, it appears that Mr Treves may have had his hand on M Daigle’s shirt before M Daigle pulled Mr Treves’.

As is apparent from the correspondence, the AOF wishes us to undertake an investigation into the conduct of Ms Hrilsdottir and Mr Malenko, including (but not limited) to determining whether either or both of them received valuable consideration from a source within the Wentland football organization.

Before commencing an investigation, we should be grateful if you could please provide your written comments, within seven days of receipt of this letter, so that we may consider your views and whether you are to be called as a witness.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

Prince Phoenix
Honorary Head of Emergency World Cup Committee

***

“Oh, dear sweet God,” cried Bluff. The players looked around in some surprise to see their manager ashen-faced in his ashen suit. “Dammit, Joe, you’ve finished him off this time,” quipped Benny Jones.

Then they saw Bluff slump to the ground…
Casari
11-03-2006, 23:40
The Locker room after Casari's 2-0 win over Kaze Progressa was a flurry of laughing and joking. Hill, being in a considerably good mood, and decided to let the press in for some lighthearted questioning of the players.

Saienz walked over and slapped Livingston on the back. "Man, you're playing so well, I almost thought I had saw Alan Belmore out there." He said, walking past. Jared Livingston, however, just had a confused look on his face.

"Who's Alan Belmore?"

A deadly hush settled over the dressing room.

"You don't know who Alan Belmore is?" Dick Eidswick, offensive coach, asked from the corner of the room.

"I think the Janitor's name Alan Belmore, actually." Livingston said, looking around the room.

"He was in soccer for twenty-five years! Scored 83 goals in 124 international matches! In every World Cup from 5 to 13! And you don't know who he is?" Eidswick said, blinking.

"So he's some old guy." Livingston said, turning back to his locker. "Whoop-de-do. You guys need to live in the now."

"You're glossing over one of the best players in the history of the world!"

"I wasn't even alive then. I grew up watching Ronalo."

Hill looked around. "Shut up about Alan Belmore. Didn't he die in some sort of train crash, or garaffe stampede, or something stupid like that?"

Eidswick sat in the corner and scowled. The Peons didn't understand history.
Spaam
12-03-2006, 00:20
Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


The Group Of Death

With critics predicting easy wins for all the home teams, the critics of the
critics have called for the critics to be sacked, most notably after Spaam's
away upset of world number seven Starblaydia. The next biggest upset was
Wentland's controversial one all draw at Oliverry, denying wins from the top
three seeds. The WCC is investigating claims of referee bias against
Oliverry. East Lithuania had the only predicted win of the round, scoring
once at home against the ever worsening Shing-Shang. Priggdom continued
to surprise, shutting Haraki out in their three nil away win, and Obsidianus
had a much needed bye.


Starblaydia 0:1 Spaam
Oliverry 1:1 Wentland
East Lithuania 1:0 Shing-Shang
Haraki 0:3 Priggdom


While the group that Spaam is drawn in has been traditionally called the
Group Of Death, that moniker is now official, with sports analysts naming this
the toughest group in qualifying. The top five teams are separated by just
two points, with the top three all on 13. Starblaydia stays on top of the
table, despite their loss, by leading on all statistics. Starblaydia, Spaam, and
Group 3's Eauz are now the world's best defensive teams, having only let
through two goals in the past six matches.

Oliverry stays in second position, while Wentland moves up to equal first on
points only. Spaam stays in 4th position, but is now just two points from
first position, and is now scoring over 3 goals per goal scored against them.
Priggdom is in 5th, equal with Spaam on points, but will almost certainly not
gain any points in their next two matches. Finally, Shing-Shang is doing a
great job of holding on to the wooden spoon, with only Obsidianus, and
possibly Haraki, looking to threaten them in any way.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts PPG G %
1 Starblaydia 6 4 1 1 19 2 17 13 2.2 950
2 Oliverry 6 4 1 1 17 7 10 13 2.2 243
3 Wentland 6 4 1 1 15 10 5 13 2.2 150
4 Spaam 6 3 2 1 7 2 5 11 1.8 350
5 Priggdom 7 3 2 2 11 13 -2 11 1.6 85
6 East Lithuania 6 2 2 2 7 7 0 8 1.3 100
7 Haraki 6 2 0 4 2 9 -7 6 1.0 22
8 Obsidianus 6 1 0 5 5 14 -9 3 0.5 36
9 Shing-Shang 7 0 1 6 3 22 -19 1 0.1 14


Next Week

Spaam will be playing in perhaps its most important match of qualifying next
week, when it hosts its biggest rivals, Wentland. The winner of this match
will move into third position, and potential qualification. From Wentland's
current form, they are the easy favourites, but Spaam has proven it has the
ability to upset pretty much any team, and is hoping to continue its home
ground winning streak.

In other less important matches, Haraki hosts Starblaydia in what could
either be a 1-0 win to the visitors, or a complete whitewash of the home
team. East Lithuania hosts Oliverry, in what WILL be a complete whitewash
of the home team, and Obsidianus and Shing-Shang battle at the latter's
home territory for the wooden spoon (or rather, the lack thereof). Priggdom
may lose its equal 4th position as it has the bye this week.

Statistics

Goal Scorers

No Name G P
17 Mylor Goss 3 6
1 Ewa Ivey 2 6
6 Cleder Cawrse 1 4
4 Crewenna Roskelly 1 6
7 Colan Trebilcock -1 4

History

1 Spaam 4:0 Obsidianus W
2 Shing-Shang 1:1 Spaam D
3 Oliverry 1:0 Spaam L
4 BYE
5 Spaam 1:0 Haraki W
6 Priggdom 0:0 Spaam D
7 Starblaydia 0:1 Spaam W
8 Spaam ?:? Wentland ?


Photo Opportunities

27 year old midfielder and number 9, Ludwan Vivian, chasing after the ball in
the match against Starblaydia.

http://www.ek.nl/img/F-Makaay.JPG
Apologetic Kittens
12-03-2006, 00:31
Following this latest draw, the Apologetic Kittens remain the only team in their group not to have won a match. The new manager, Davis, didn't bring the whirlwind he promised, and the team equal with the Kittens on points held them to a draw.

The difference between the teams? Their opponents have actually won a game. This campaign is going disastrously wrong for the Kittens, who were expected to be flying mid-table in the group following their placement in the top 100 of the latest KPB-rankings. But it's looking as if this tournament isn't to be for the Kittens, and their long standing captain Roberts.

The players know they've missed their chance, and will now be fighting solely for pride, and to make sure the hosts of the next Cup Of Harmony don't underestimate their passion and forget the invite.
Schiavonia
12-03-2006, 01:53
The Schiavone Scribe
Topp notch
Schiavonia 2-1 The Islands Of Qutar

Substitute Gary Topp gave Schiavonia another home win in their bid to get to the World Cup finals woth a late scrambled goal last night.

The sloths started off... well, like sloths. Or slugs, or koalas, or anything else that doesn't move much. Enough to let one of the few new players more prolific than Tony Tarmey, Ali, through to put Qutar up.

Still, Tony Tarmey's pretty prolific, too. One chance, and bang, before half time, the home time have an undeserved equaliser. Not that the orange and scarlet army in the King Francesco Stadium were complaining.

Second half, and things didn't get much better. Then, with twelve minutes to go, teh turning point.

Yes, perennial victim Craig McAndrew had to be taken off again with another slice of bad luck. This time, he appeared to be cut after being hit by a missile thrown from the crowd. However, after wathcing replays, this appears not to have been the case. He was, in fact, struck by a water bottle thrown to him from his own bench hit him at an awkward angle.

On for him came Gary Topp, who many think is past it as anything other than a goal poacher. Certainly not as an inspirational figure.

But that's where everyone was quite gladly wrong, as Topp came on and decided to get stuck in. And so did the rest of the team. And things started to turn around for Schiavonia until, with three minutes to go, man of the match Topp got onto the end of a corner, rising above everyone else in the box to head home.

So somehow, Schiavonia stay top of Group 12, now three points ahead of Squornshelous, five ahead of Kericia in third and a massive seven ahead of Qutar who, despite being only one place below Schiavonia in the rankings, are a fair way behind in reality.

Final score
Schiavonia 2 (Tarmey 44, Topp 87)
The Islands Of Qutar 1 (Ali 13)
Alasdair I Frosticus
12-03-2006, 01:55
HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

HEFA OFFICIALS DENY TAKING BRIBES
"We Wouldn't Say No If Somebody Offered, Though" Says Official

By Constantine Ducaso
Archregimancy Correspondent

Following the recent embroiling of the Emergency World Cup Committee in the accusations of bribes to referees surrounding the Oliverry - Wentland match, Holy Empire Football Association officials released a press statement on behalf of the mysterious and reclusive semi-retired World Cup 2 host and EWCC member.

"No one in HEFA has offered, been offered, accepted, or otherwise been involved in any bribe of any kind" said a senior official, speaking on condition of anonymity. " 'Course, doesn't mean we wouldn't say no if somebody did offer a bribe, mind, but there's been no sign of a bribe anywhere as far as I can tell".

This reporter can exclusively reveal that this statement - contrary to the usual statements of senior Holy Empire officials regarding bribes and corruption - actually appears to be true. Despite the rampant nepotism...

[editorial note: the rest of this article was completed by an official from the Imperial Office for Internal Peace and Security]

...that plagues other nations, the Holy Empire remains a beacon of prosperity, peace, and enlightened munificent rule by the Basileus and his officials. This 'bribery' issue is clearly something for ordinary physical reality to worry about. Not us. Not at all.

All hail the Basileus!
Haraki
12-03-2006, 01:59
"You've all seen the footage, folks. We aired it a few days ago and have been airing the highlights and low points ever since. I don't feel I need to remind you of the Hawks' performance, but I will anyway.

"We lost. Very badly. 3-0 against Priggdom, who didn't qualify or even score a goal in the Baptism of Fire. They're now holding the middle spot in Group 8, following the disaster that was Haraki's Matchday Seven game.

"We were disorganized, uncoordinated, and overall it was some of the worst football I've seen from the Hawks all year, especially given that they had just come off a sound 3-0 victory in their exhibition match against Atherlon United. Zendar seemed determined to rally the team to perform better, but nothing worked. A lot of substitutions were made, but nothing helped. Three goals made it past Mark Stone, who we hear has requested to be removed from the starting rotation for the upcoming game against Starblaydia. Vargas conceded the idea, and Susana Hamilton will be Haraki's starting goalkeeper for the Starblaydian game. Since the game is probably going to be a one-sided loss for Haraki anyway, it seems better not to tarnish Stone's reputation even more with another loss. He's already got four on his mind, he doesn't need another.

"The Hawks had such promise. Three days in, they were at second place. But now, with seven played, we've dropped to, fittingly enough, seventh place. The only hope for the Hawks now is to turn their game completely around and win a hell of a lot of games in the second rotation. Vargas seems determined to beat everyone in his path. He wants to make it to qualifying, even if he has to murder all the other teams to do it.

"Even if the Hawks were to somehow upset the Starblaydians and make it a victory, they still would not advance unless Oliverry beats East Lithuania, which is entirely likely. A Lithuanian loss and Harakian victory would put Haraki in 6th place, and only two points behind Priggdom, who are sitting comfortably with eleven in fifth place.

"Spaam's analysts and reporters have been calling Group Eight the Group of Death, and it seems a fitting title. The amrgins between the teams are so small in the beginning, fanning out into a dreadful gap between the good teams and the bad teams. And, I'm sorry to say, the Hawks are one of those bad teams. They have two goals versus nine scored against, and two victories versus no draws and four losses. Not counting the match against AUFC, of course.

"I think the Hawks' fate may be sealed. Facing top-ranked Starblaydia tomorrow, they look to be hoping for a miracle. For everyone who's religious out there, pray for the Haraki Hawks in their game tomorrow. If Spaam can upset Starblaydia, so can Haraki.

"This is Sam Sherman for HNN Sports, signing off."
Rejistania
12-03-2006, 02:17
Orange-Blues play karelan

The Orange-Blues have shown once again that they are a a karelan team: They played this match as if the Hexatux in its latest and greatest version has given the orders. Against Rordia, the Orange-Blues played a 7-2-1 with occasional counter-attacks. They had three counter-attacks in the entire game and one was successfull: In the 40th minute, right midfielder Hinije~n I Teresil was able to score the 1:0. the score remained 1:0 for the better part of the second half, despite many attempts of the Rordians to change it. Rordian Strikers @@RANDOMNAME@@ and @@POSTAROSTERFSS@@ had some chances, but Jeri Kis proved that he is a worthy replacement for Visnu Kanavan. In the 85th minute, Karela Ikaru was fouled by the rordarian striker @@POSTAROSTERFSS@@, but was able to continue the game. The resulting free kick caused the 2:0 by a header of Manatha~e Hihtaka~o.

What the Update didn't know:
We are in the office of SyMji, new president of the ASR. In the room are SyMji, national coach Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile and Mana~o Syeau, the manager of the Hexatux-project.
Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile: Hejida Lyku'he! Hejida Syeau'he... you asked for my presence here? (translation: What is so important that we can not resolve the issue via phone?)
"SyMji": I indeed did. You did ask for a working version of the Hexatux earlier...
Hanselijimijile: Yes, I did (9 months ago, you loser!) Have you managed to remove the 'gadgets' Siki Rej left in the ruleset?
"SyMji": no, but we do have a working version of it.
Mana~o Syeau: An apartment in which apparently Siki Rej resided was searched for any traces of him, nothing was found, but that he wrote an application to a nonexistent company. However on his main computer, a version of Hexatux's ruleset was found.
Hanselijimijile: You had the right to just take his computer?
Mana~o Syeau: It was the efficient thing to do for the police... (translation: we bribed the police)
Hanselijimijile: I see, efficient.
"SyMji": We connected it to the database and tried a simulation... It said that The Archregimancy would be defeated by Praying2God 6:1. So it might not run correctly.
Hanselijimijile: interesting (translation: what a bunch of nonsense). What does it say about the Rordia match?
Mana~o Syeau: I need some tactical information from you for that.
* Hanselijimijile explains the tactics, he plans, Mana~o Syeau enters them into the Hexatux-interface.
Mana~o Syeau: It says... 2:2, but offers tactical advise to win the match...
Hanselijimijile: Understood...

We switch to the time before the Rordia match.
Jisu Jetta: Oh, Maniac, you might be interested... Praying2God defeated the Archregimancy today. A victory today and we advance to first position.
Hanselijimijile: they did? By which scoreline?
Jisu Jetta: Praying2God - The Archregimancy 6ja1.
Hanselijimijile: Sorry, I need to call someone!
* Hanselijimijile grabs his mobile phone and types a number...
Hanselijimijile: (to the person on the other end of the line) Hejida, can I talk to Syeau'he?... what?.... no, I don't remember the first name... more than 100 people with last name Syeau in the ASR? Well, he is the manager of the Hexatux project... thank you! ... Hejida Syeau'he! ... About the Hexatux... can you tell me what it recommends?
The Kazoo Peoples
12-03-2006, 02:44
Run through your mind the campaign's losses. Total n Utter Insanity. Milchama. Respectable names, no? Then you run into names like "Algal states." Not a good loss, if a loss could be "good."

In what category does today's loss fall into? Consider the facts:

1. The team we lost to is #1 in our group.
2. The team we lost to is 18 ranks higher than us in the World Rankings.
3. We lost only by one goal.

We think that today was a "good" loss, and Head Coach Manni Aka agrees: "They are a tough team. They have shown that they deserve to be number one today, no doubt about it. But the fact that the match was so close [Ed: see below] only goes to prove that we are a competitive team, and should do well when the come back to our turf later this campaign."

The match was a back-and-forth battle, similiar to other matches of World Cup 27 qualifying, but this time around, goals were scored, as opposed to the ball being passed around by the midfielders.

The first 30 or so minutes were the only instances of midfielder pass-around. After that, it was strictly action.

It was Bettia who scored first, Abdullah to York to GOAL! at minute 35. 1-0 Bettia. But the Kazoos came right back at minute 42, when Jonny Lampshade tossed in the ball after Bettia hit it out of bounds. Rudy Johnson and Chadd Johnson worked in tandem, and scored easily past the diving Bettian(?) goalkeeper DiTorino. 1-1 tie as both teams headed off to the locker room for halftime.

As we emerged from break, Bettia obviously had some strategy as they emerged from the field, as they tore through the Kazoo defense as a hot knife would through butter, scoring two goals rather close together, at minutes 56 (Hunter) and minute 61 (Swain). Bettia up 3-1.

Aka made some defensive adjustments, in an effort to "stop the bleeding." It seemed to work, as the Kazoos stopped hemhorraging goals. It was time for a comeback, and oh! what a miraculous comeback it was!

It looked as if the Kazoos weren't going to come back at all, as the clock ticked past minute 80 without any goalscoring. But at minute 81, a great steal by Perknowleski allowed the Kazoos to capitalise on Bettia, as they had been setting up for a quick goal, with 9 of their starting 11 downfield. The steal caught Bettia off-guard, and Perknowleski took the easy goal (only one defender and the goalkeeper to beat!) at minute 83. Bettia up 3-2.

It was now Bettia's ball, but the goal scored clearly rattled them, as the clock ticked on. The kickoff! Minute 85. Bettia is heading downfield, playing keepaway. Minute 86. Stolen by Kevlar Shafur! He streaks downfield! Minute 87. Clearly tired, Shafur passes it up to Cha Cha Cha by midfield. The Slow pace (a waltz, if you will) enables the Kazoos to catch their breath and strategise. Minute 88. Cha Cha Cha gives it to Cort Izzone. Izzone and Rudy Johnson pass back and forth. Minute 89. Rudy Johnson shoots! Off the post! Recovered by Izzone, shoots! Off the post! Chadd Johnson coming in, recovers, shoots! Off the post! Cha Cha Cha, tips it in! It's all tied up at 3! Who would have thunk that the Kazoos would come back from a two-goal defecit?

Minute 90. The ref adds some additional time to make up for substitutions and the like. Minute 90+... Bettia midfielder Warlow takes the ball, manouvres past the tired Kevlar Shafur, who had just sprint up the field to get something going... only the goalkeeper to beat! And he gets it in. 4-3 Bettia, the ref's whistle blows.

---

Total n Utter Insanity 2-0 Nanakaland
Bettia 4-3 The Kazoo Peoples
The Weegies 3-2 The New Chakovnia
Tynelia 3-0 Algal states

Total n Utter Insanity stays in second with the shutout win over Nanakaland.
The New Chakovnia is one of only two teams that are still point-less through seven days of play (the other is Allied Anime Worlds, at 0-0-6). Algal states (not "Algar states," as the Tynelian(?) media likes to say) are dropping games left and right now, despite their freak upset over us on day one. The top four spots are spaced in three-point increments, so for any team to rise, it'll take cooporation from both sides to have lower-ranked teams rise in Group 2.


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bettia 6 6 0 0 21 9 12 18
2 Total n Utter Insanity 6 5 0 1 15 3 12 15
3 Nanakaland 6 4 0 2 9 9 0 12
4 The Kazoo Peoples 6 3 0 3 10 11 -1 9
5 Algal states 7 3 0 4 11 14 -3 9
6 Tynelia 6 2 1 3 5 5 0 7
7 The Weegies 6 2 1 3 8 10 -2 7
8 Risa-Aramour 6 1 2 3 3 9 -6 5
9 The New Chakovnia 7 0 0 7 7 19 -12 0

PROGRESS IN WORLD CUP 27 (3-0-4):
MD1: loss to Algal states 3-1, home
MD2: loss to Total n Utter Insanity 2-0, home
MD3: loss to Milchama (friendly) 4-2, home
MD4: win over The Weegies 2-1, away
MD5: win over Risa-Aramour 2-0, home
MD6: win over The New Chakovnia 2-0, away
MD7: loss to Bettia 4-3, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: Lowland Clans, TBD (friendly)
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away
Qazox
12-03-2006, 03:11
"What the hell are you talking about, you freaking bastich. My Brother's been dead for 10 years. I was as the funeral, I had to identify the body" Yelled Kyle Cartman at Generallissimo Uarez.

GU: I'm telling you the truth, and the only reason I know, is that I'm your father, both of you. My Medi-Scanner proved it.

Kyle was taken aback by the sudden releveation, with first anger at Uarez for supposedly lying, but then something clicked, and it all made sense.

Kyle: You cloned yourself, didn't you Keith.

Mr X/Keith: Yes, that was my clone that you buried. I had to escape MIB-12 and after I had run some tests, I found out that the Generalissimo here is our real father. You know that we were both put up for adoption, and now we know why.

Kyle: But, why the lies, the trickry, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME!!! I'M YOUR FREAKING BROTHER FOR OX SAKE?!?!?

Keith: It was too dangerous. If MIB-12 found out I was still alive, I'd be dead by now. adn to tell you the truth, I'm not here to destroy the world, but to prevent it.

Uarez: Just how do you think I could have found you so quickly Kyle? Keith contacted me and iIsent Lt. Latias undercover ensure your participation in this. There is a conspiracy within MIB-12 to destroy the continuum. Even though you and Keith have no reason to trust me, I will help, but the only thing I require is the names of the Spies with-in Green wombat. if not, then I guess that you'll be dead.

Kyle: I'm not trusting either of you. But the destruction of the continuum can't happen. Give me 3 days to get the crystals, and meet me in Lorax City at Channel 3 news.

Uarez and Keith(rather arkwardly considering they spoke at the same time): How do I Know you won't Double Cross me?

Kyle: You dont. I don't trust you, and you don't trust me. But I must go alone, and if I see either one of you sending anyone to follow me, I will kill them and turn you in. Now, are you going to let me go or what?
Fmjphoenix
12-03-2006, 04:52
Scores for Matchday 8 can be found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10564337#post10564337).
New Montreal States
12-03-2006, 06:05
PALADINS BEAT SOME MILCHAMANS

4-1 result over Milchaman puppets results in warning for NMS citizens abroad to keep their heads down

COLLONIE - As the Paladins closed out a 4-1 win over Milchaman dependency Collonie, the Ministry of Defense issued a warning to whatever NMS citizens in Milchama that haven't been lynched yet to "keep your heads down for a bit."

"Whether or not we'll get another round of anti-NMS rioting is, as of now, unclear," said spokesman Col. Richard Godain. "But another such round would be par for the course, and as such we reccommend that whoever's dumb enough to still be in Milchama keep their heads down, and try to get out as soon as you can."

"We can't guarantee your security if you choose to remain."

The match itself was fairly good news for the Paladins, as it represents the first time this tournament that they've played two decent matches in a row. The Collonie side never really built any momentum in the first half, silencing a crowd out to see some blood - ideally the blue-and-silver kind. Instead they got Gilles Villeneuve picking up his 5th goal of the tournament. Fellow foward Hubert Labranche garnered his second as well as the half wound down, sending NMS back to the lockers up by 2.

Collonie came out roaring to go, driving deep into NMS territory, and Kate Windsor put them on the board at 53 minutes. With the Paladins reeling, all eyes across the nation turned to Villeneuve for some heroics, and he did not disappoint, spectacularly dekeing out three Collonie defenders to find the back of the net at 62 minutes and breaking the spirit of both the home crowd and the home team.

Phillip Yates, manouevering for an open shot in the Collonie backfield, took a tackle from Paris Klesterfeud that sent him to the bench with a hamstring pulled in the landing, and sent Marc Tessier in as his replacement. Tessier picked up his first-ever goal in international competition at 84 minutes. Team doctor Thierry Toutchamp announced that "Yates will not be available for the remainder of this half. He needs rest more than anything else and should be as good as new after the bye."

Branstone, perhaps not entirely unhappy that the underacheiving Yates will be taking a breather for a while, announced that Yates's spot was "Tessier's to lose."

"He put up a good show out there, and he's been looking pretty sharp in practice," Branstone added. "He'll be starting against Atheistic Right," at the Paladin Dome.

PALADINS 4 - Villeneuve 18, 62, Labranche 44, Tessier 84
COLLONIE 1 - Windsor 53

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 6
Labranche 2
Toussaint 2
Chan 1
Gordon 1
Pilon 1
Tessier 1
[NS]Bazalonia
12-03-2006, 06:17
"Alliteration Attacked" by Nev Gould

In the recent "Milchamian Makes Match Magic" article. It seems that offense has been taken at the usage of Milchamian to describe the Bazalopes new coach, Neil Kabants. Despite living in Milchama for most of his professional career Neil was born in Collonie and he still calls Collonie home. I would like to personally apologise for this mistake to Neil. And now let's move on to the results of Matchday number 8.

This matchday the Bazalopes played host to the Rejistanians, TeleBaz Stadium was packed. It was ages since the Bazalonians had the opportunity a team like the Rejistanian Orange-Blues. The Rejistanians did not dis-appoint despite their defensive bent the team put on a good show and the Bazalopes did not disappoint either. The first goal of the match was in the 23rd minute as Irchov Michael got a tremendous pass from the captain and put it up right in the top right corner of the goal. However this was the only score that the Bazalopes made in this match.

The Rejistanian goals where made in the 38th and 56th minutes of the match. The first goal was a counter-attack as the strong Rejistanian defense foiled a drive by James Kantwell, the Bazalopes defense was just not up to the onslaught that followed and Jeffery Constantine did not clear the ball away properly allowing a rejistanian striker access to an open goal. The second goal was a result of a Rejistanian Intercept of a pass between Anthony Creek and "Benny Boy" Peters. The Rejistanians made it into the Bazalopes half and Jeffery just could not get his hands on it to stop the ball. And this was how the match ended 1-2 at TeleBaz Stadium, Fauxhan. The Rejistanians beating, but not demolishing the Bazalopes. It seems Neil is working wonders for the team.

..........

BFP, Missing Persons Unit.

"James Gaines has asked us to look into Peter Hobble's disappearance from Elrich, what do we have so far?" (Mark)

"Well, Boss, We have isolated 3 individuals from the DNA, One is certainly Hobble though it has seemed the Werewolf bite has slighty modified the DNA sequence, it has not altered the markers we use. The second is confirmed as Mike Basset, and the third is of an unknown male." (Ian)

"Ian, do you think that Mike could have done this?" (Mark)

"Unsure, Boss, but if we find Peter, I'm sure we'll also find Mike. Whether he is a inmate or the captor." (Ian)

"Any further clues from the Elrich police?" (Mark)

"No, but don't worry.. Ian's on the case." (Ian)
Jeruselem
12-03-2006, 06:39
Jeruselem Government News

NO ANARCHY SAY GIRL CALLED Kirstiriera

What does Jeruselem think of a system called Anarchy? It sucks, doesn't work. So does the soccer team of the same name - An Archy. Well, we beat them 3-0 and still top Group 1. A little more law and order here. An Archy fall back to 7th ... they were once 1st!

Collonie got caned by New Montreal States. NMS handed them a 4-1 spanking and it shows what the top 2 in Group 1 are about - consistency and winning. Yes, there's a pattern here. Collonie fall back to 4th due to Cuation having a win.

Druida sank lower, to 8th. The impressive Cuation gave them 1-0 pipping but the Cuation team wanted to win, and it seems the Druida team need to get their act together now. Cuation are 3rd again and well, habe fight with Collonie on now.

Kirstiriera soundly beat Atheistic Right after the Atheists had a bye. 3 to 1 was the scoreline and Kirstiriera have moved to last to 6th recently. Well done Kirstiriera.

CR Oscilloscopes has the bye and stay 5th.

We say it's Cuation or Colonie for the 3rd spot on form. Cuation do win more and have drawn Jeruselem 1-1, Colonie have more draws.

Group 1
An Archy 0-3 Jeruselem
Collonie 1-4 New Montreal States
Cuation 1-0 Druida
Kirstiriera 3-1 Atheistic Right



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Jeruselem 7 5 2 0 19 5 14 17
2 New Montreal States 7 5 0 2 14 7 7 15
3 Cuation 7 4 1 2 10 7 3 13
4 Collonie 7 3 2 2 11 11 0 11
5 CR Oscilloscopes 7 3 1 3 5 8 -3 10
6 Kirstiriera 8 2 2 4 10 14 -4 8
7 An Archy 7 2 2 3 6 11 -5 8
8 Druida 7 1 2 4 5 11 -6 5
9 Atheistic Right 7 0 2 5 5 11 -6 2


...

Group 9

The Lions best CH last game and did they learn from that? It seems no, sadly. Chicanada hammered them 3-0 and well, something needs to be done. A team that can beat CH, has talent but it needs to be used. Hopefully the 5th placed Lions can improve. Jeruselem fans please help the Lions on the pitch or Nedalian fans will be having to cheer for Jeruselem for a 3rd WC running in the Group stage due to the absence of their team.

As normal, all the usual suspects won in Group 9 as well. Just note Audioslavia have won 7 from 7, now that's form!

Kelse 0-1 Audioslavia
Ariddia 1-3 Commerce Heights
Chicanada 3-0 Nedalia
Ocmeoub 0-1 Pedriana

Group 10

Nothing to see here. The top 2 won again but KP lost to Harleburg 0-2. Imperial Moose are 4th and look like taking on Majeristan who got trashed by Casari 4-1. It's MD7 and it's safe to say two teams will be in the group stage.

McPsychoville 0-1 Hockey Canada
Majeristan 1-4 Casari
Harlesburg 2-0 Kaze Progressa
Magnus Valerius 0-1 Imperial Moose
Atheistic Right
12-03-2006, 06:53
Lion was furious at the result as he watched the live sattelite feed from Kirst... Krist... or where ever the Bazalopes where playing. He did not pay much attention to other nations appart from trying to work out which nations they should beat and which nations they should draw or lose against. He knew that the Atheistic Right Archeopteri should have won this match fairly easily. But they did not, Lion threw things at the wall. Lion reached for the phone and dialed up a number. The autmoated phone system went. "Please name your target"

Lion said "Jeremy Francis aka Cricket" (Lion was the one and only person that knew everything that happened in ARFA, he needed to so there could be no coup against him) Lion hung up the phone he had just hired the same guy that took out Owl (OOC: see BoF RP thread) to also take out Cricket, he was the best assasin in Atheistic Right that Lion knew and that is why he was hired.

In Kirstiriera, Cricket was sitting on a seat at a table at a nice little Cafe down-town. He was sitting their trying to work out what happened to the Archeopteri away at Kirstiriera. He ordered a salad and had just finished it... finally.. he worked it out... "YES!"... he exclaimed quickly jumping up from the chair and pumping his fist in the air, that exhuberation waas quickly forgotten as his airways started to close up in Anaphylactic Shock. Virtually no one knew but Cricket was alergic to Peanuts. He didn't know but the Salad Dressing that was used on his salad was switched from the standard Olive Oil that was used in these parts (Cricket had done his research) was switched to a peanut oil-based salad dressing. There was a hint of nuttyness in the dressing but Cricket did not have an attuned palate and did not detect the nut-taste. The ambulance was called but it was too late by the time the Paramedics arrived it was too late, Cricket was already dead.

..........

Lion read the Jerusalem media, particularily their latest article on the world cup performance of Atheistic Right, He was planing something for them, something that would cause them to think again

..........

"Cricket is Dead; ARFA Blames Religious Conspiracy" by Nathanuel McKeen

In a recent press announcement ARFA president Lion has blamed a Religous Conspiracy for the Death of Cricket in Kirstiriera. This is what he had to say on this matter. "Cricket was a good coach and the only reason that we can think of that anyone, and I repeat ANYONE, has for killing him is on the grounds for religion. It seems that those religious nuts, primarily those of the Archregimancy and others of their 'orthodox' (I always shudder at those words) friends such as New Montreal States. ARFA is currently deciding whether or not to field a team to New Montreal States as they are hosting the Archeopteri the next Matchday. My opinion is we can't let these religious terrorists hold us to ransom. We are going to walk right into the Tiger's den, and face them on their own turf. Only then can we truly beat these fanatical weirdos. We are not scared and we will beat you on your home turf. Also Tortoise has been announced as Cricket's replacement and will take over immeadiately for this match. Tortoise has been slated as staying, we are going to try a more defensive approach to our upcoming matches. See if that format favours us.

OOC: btw, just to clarify... ICly yes my people are nutters but I am not... thank you.
Qazox
12-03-2006, 07:22
QAZOX CITY HERALD

A first for Qazox today in WC Qualifing as John Frorr, yes, John Frorr Qazox's Keeper, scored the winning goal today in Valertinette. With the match all square at 1 in the 89th minute, Frorr took it upon himself to join the last minute attack and amazingly scored after recieving a pass from New Recife teammate Andrew Mason. This is assumed to be the 1st time in quite a while that a keeper has scored not only a goal, but a game winner. John Frorr had this to say about his historic goal: "I just thought that the team needed a spark, and I provided it, hopefully this will spurn the team to more victories in the future."

The game began with Valertinette attacking Frorr with eight credited shots in the first 20 minutes as Qazox looked tired after yesterday's exhibition. But Frorr withstood the test, only allowing a goal on the 8th shot to Valertinette's striker who is unknown. After the goal, Qazox started pushing more on offense and in the 43rd minute a rare goal from defender Helena Sexton off a freekick tied the match. The 2nd half was all Qazox's, but Valertinette held firm until Frorr's goal.

Tommorrow Qazox will travel to Vitita, Co-leader of the group. Hopefully today's big win will carry over and Qazox might be able to salvage a draw, but Vilita's offense looks to good I expect a hard fought 2-1 loss.

Here's the rest of today's Scores and Up-to-the-Minute Standings Brought to you by Ox-Cola, Now in Musk Ox flavor!!

Group 3
Hiiraan 0-3 Eauz
Tanah Burung 1-3 Vilita
Elrich 0-1 Milchama
Valertinette 1-2 Qazox



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Eauz 7 6 0 1 23 2 21 18
2 Vilita 7 6 0 1 18 4 14 18
3 Elrich 7 3 1 3 10 13 -3 10
4 Milchama 7 3 1 3 11 15 -4 10
5 Qazox 7 3 0 4 8 9 -1 9
6 Dorian and Sonya 7 2 2 3 7 12 -5 8
7 Valertinette 8 2 1 5 4 14 -10 7
8 Hiiraan 7 1 3 3 3 8 -5 6
9 Tanah Burung 7 2 0 5 6 13 -7 6

Qazox's Qualifing Schedule

Match Day One--@ Elrich LOST 0-3
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran LOST 0-1 at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Attendence: 17,000
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya WON 2-0 at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Attendence: 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendence: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama WON 4-2
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendance: 42,000.
Match Day Seven--Exhibition vs. Graverville(QFL Champion) WON 5-0 at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Attendence: 79,250.
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette WON 2-1
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
The Archregimancy
12-03-2006, 07:28
[OOC: this'll have to be quick by my standards - RL intervenes. Hope to be back to normal tomorrow]

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

THE MONASTIC TIMES

LENTEN CONTROVERSY RESOLVED
Replacement Squad Defeats Rordia

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association last night revealed their solution to the Lenten Controversy that had threatened to send the national team's World Cup qualification campaign straight to Satan's realm in the wake of the Praying2God debacle.

"Dream Simulacra!" announced a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "It worked for the Holy Empire two Cups of Harmony ago, and we believe we've refined the technology to the extent that the entire starting XI can be replicated when necessary. On all Sundays during Lent - and Lenten away matches against non-Orthodox teams - we'll field a team composed of Dream Simulacra of the national squad."

For those unfamiliar with the technology, oneirologists in the Holy Empire have developed the ability to project the Dreamed Realm into ordinary physical reality on a temporary and highly localised basis: two short spells of up to 55 minutes in an area slightly larger than a football field. The resulting dream simulacra appear 'real' to all intents and purposes even though technically they're a figment of the dream technicians' imaginations.

"What a brilliant solution!" said leading Archregimancy TV personality Fr. John the Golden-Throated. "It certainly seems to have worked last night - 3-0 against Rordia, and our qualification campaign's back on track."
Green wombat
12-03-2006, 07:42
GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS
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Try Soylant Cola now with 15% less People.

Green Wombat looked forward to today's match with Emporer Pudu after thier bye date yesterday and came away with a 2-2 draw, the first draw in Green Wombat's history. The scoring started in the 34th minute as Forward SSgt. Kelly Wilcox scored her first goal of Qualifing. Emporer Pudu quicklty answered in the 42nd minute as Pvt. Ryan gave up a goal to Vrochen, whom replays showed was offsides.

The second half was Emporer Pudu's as Vrochen scored again in the 67th minute making it 2-1. The Emporer Pudu attack was strong, until a late handball at the 84th minute just outside the box gave Specialist Jenny Hernandez , starting in place of Ensign Graves who will rejoin the team tommorrow in Lovisa, who promptly blasted the free kick over Pudu's keeper Kaibula tying the match. Spc. Hernandeez's goal made it the 1st time that 2 women had scored a goal in one game for Green Wombat, truly a historical day for all women in our country.

Lovisa is up next and Green Wombat, to be honest, doesn't have a wombat's chance in a T-Rex's mouth of winning, but hopefully the long trip back home from Pastorville will tire out Lovisa and we may steal a point from them.
Sarzonia
12-03-2006, 08:32
Brett Hancock shook his head with a slight smile on his face. He was the man widely considered the heir apparent to Coach and IFF Chairman Dave Wilson and he was looking at the job his idol was doing with the senior national team with a twinge of jealousy.

It was only natural. He was tapped to be Barry Owens' right hand man with the Stars and was content to learn from a man who was by Wilson's side through several World Cups and also earn experience coaching the second choice side at AOCAF before he'd earn a look as Sarzonia's fifth head coach, or someone else's man.

But Wilson was making it awfully hard on Hancock. The Stars improved to a perfect 7-0-0 thanks to a 4-1 shellacking of Palacetonia with only a match against bottom feeders Rorysville left on the team's first half qualifying schedule. Thanks to Legalese holding Krytenia 4-4 at home, the Stars extended their lead in the group to a full seven points clear of the Aces, while four sides are 11 points adrift of Sarzonia. The Black and Red have the edge on point difference.

"Well, I know I'm going to have a tough act to follow," Hancock said to a ball boy who happened to be in the locker room whilst the top assistant coach was clearing out his things. Goalkeeping coach Horace Sandt overheard Hancock and said, "yeah. Looks like we've got quite a set of results."

"Look at this," Hancock said. "There are three unbeaten and unheld sides in World Cup qualifying," he said. "Of them, Liverpool England are level with us in goal difference, goals scored, the whole bit."

"How's their group look?"

"Pretty good. They've got Turori, Yafor 2's in that group. The Lowland Clans. Mr. Chuck Norris. The Belmore Family."

"The Belmore Family? They haven't played in a while have they?"

"Indeed. Their record shows it. One win, seven losses. The only thing keeping them from last place is Allied Anime Worlds who haven't had so much as a draw."

"Is Group 7 as tough as ours?"

"What do you think of Aaron's game today?"

"Aaron's still the second choice keeper and we saw why. He badly misplayed that one goal Palacetonia got, but the offence was on its game the whole night."

"Say, you wanna grab a beer?"

"Make it a Mariner's Grog and we'll talk."

"Deal. Let's drink to 7-0."

"Let's do it!"
Praying2God
12-03-2006, 09:18
WARRIORS CONTINUE SOLID PLAY, CHALLENGES LIE AHEAD

The Praying2God Warriors needed to get off to a good start in WC XXVII qualifying, and while they haven't been as good as some would like, they haven't been horrible either. The Warriors defeated Swilatia 2-0 in their second road match yesterday to improve to 4-2-1 (W-L-D) in WC XXVII qualifying, though they've only had one other road match so far. "With six of our final nine matches on the road, it's not going to be easy to get to Bedistan and Fmjphoenix, but I think we're up to the challenge," Warriors Head Coach Paul Johnson said after yesterday's match. Kelly Carter had a hand in both Warriors goals, scoring off a cross from Ashley Gore in the 21st minute, and assisting on Thomas Larson's insurance goal in the 70th minute. The Warriors are typically a team that gets stronger as the WC qualifiers progress which, if it is the case in WC XXVII qualifying as well, could mean that the Warriors could make a serious run at winning their group. However, the Warriors will be glad to simply secure a trip to Bedistan and Fmjphoenix. The Warriors have traditionally struggled on the road, so anything can happen.
Squornshelous
12-03-2006, 10:32
As Easy as Drowing Puppies or Kittens

Squornshelous walks all over Apologetic Kittens
The Pschychoes had their most convincing away match of qualifying at Apologetic Kittens. Our attack broke loose against the Kittens inexperienced defense for six goals, three of which were scored by sensational forward Mostafa Ogbadan, who has tallied 13 goals so far in qualifying. Iannis Xenakis put in one of the others, along with Kryztoff Makanen and Goran Syvatov. Despite one goal put in by the Kittens, the match was completely dominated by the Pschychoes from start to finish. Superior play in midfield and excellent finishing saw the Pschychoes jump out to a big lead. However, instead of backing off, the Pschychoes pressed the attack and ran up the score, something which may make the second match, when Apologetic Kittens visit Squornshelous a more interesting affair.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 6-1 Apologetic Kittens

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws byes
MD01: bye
MD02: The Islands of Qutar 1-3 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 5-1 The Macabees
MD04: Jon Parkin 4-4 Squornshelous
MD05: Squornshelous 5-0 San Adriano
MD06: Schiavonia 4-2 Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous 2-0 Kericia
MD08: Apologetic Kittens 1-6 Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Spaamanian Plijous
MD10: bye
MD11: Squornshelous v The Islands of Qutar
MD12: The Macabees v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Jon Parkin
MD14: San Adriano v Squornshelous
MD15: Squornshelous v Schiavonia
MD16: Kericia v Squornshelous
MD17: Squornshelous v Apologetic Kittens
MD18: Spaamanian Plijous v Squornshelous
Tadjikistan
12-03-2006, 11:07
Its better than nothing
By Simon Grinchik, part time sportsjournalist

'Oh no, not another defensive team!' was what coach Khumdin Sharipov said when he researched his next opponents, Becquerelia. His experiences with previous defensive teams led him to add 'What is this, these sort of teams seem to grow wild, though the name wouldnt suggest that.' The Tigers had to go offensive again to break down a 5 man wall.

The man to do it was Daniele Priore, still on the team in Zyrianovs place where he is doing a terrific job. It was at his instigation that the Tigers rushed down the right side to bring Saradov in front of the Becquerelian goal, Saradov thanked his collegues with a hard shot, unstoppable by David Deneen, the Becquerelian goalkeeper.

It looked as if it was going to end as a 'small' victory for the Tigers as they had little trouble keeping the two Becquerelian strikers away from Daniel Gurchev. Too bad Polozkov had to pull one of his tricks again and throw Becquerelian Zachariah Mendel down with him as he tried to reach a high ball. Polozkov got away with only a yellow card for it, but his team fared badly. The penalty was curled around the Tadjik wall and into the left corner, Gurchevs blind spot.

The Tigers returned to their offensive play in an attempt to set the record straight and give their team the three points it deserved. But the closed they came was a shot that went high over, Tulberdievs lack of accuracy was blamed on the situation. He wasnt not targetted by coach Sharipov in his verdict 'Maybe I should throw in another substitute defender like Kuthakov. Not only does that give me an SKA Pamir Dushanbe defense, they already know eachother, making their cooperation superb. I dont need troublemakers, you can see for yourself where they get us. Our next match at home against Georgonia will be without such stupidity, because I will personally remove all rotten apples until I get a defense that actually stops the opponent from making more goals.'



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Lovisa 7 5 2 0 18 3 15 17
2 Tadjikistan 7 4 2 1 15 5 10 14
3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 7 4 1 2 9 12 -3 13
4 Pastorville 7 4 0 3 6 5 1 12
5 Emporer Pudu 8 1 5 2 7 12 -5 8
6 Giant Zucchini 7 2 1 4 11 11 0 7
7 Green wombat 7 2 1 4 7 13 -6 7
8 Georgeonia 7 1 2 4 3 10 -7 5
9 Becquerelia 7 0 4 3 3 8 -5 4



Fixtures:
MD1: Stay at home, do nothing
MD2: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan W 1-3
MD3: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 2-0
MD4: Green Wombat - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD5: Tadjikistan - Emperor Pudu D 1-1
MD6: Lovisa - Tadjikistan L 2-1
MD7: Tadjikistan - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega W 3-0
MD8: Becquerelia - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD9: Tadjikistan - Georgonia
MD10: Stay home again, do nothing
MD11: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD12: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD13: Tadjikistan - Green Wombat
MD14: Emperor Pudu - Tadjikistan
MD15: Tadjikistan - Lovisa
MD16: Andossa se Mitrin Vega - Tadjikistan
MD17: Tadjikistan - Becquerelia
MD18: Georgonia - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 5
Zyrianov - 4
Tulberdiev - 3
Pliiev - 1
Priore - 1
Gurchev - 1
Ariddia
12-03-2006, 11:31
Ariddia struggling for points

“Every match is going to be a must-win.” Those words were spoken by star defender Yves al-Jahdali before the start of the competition, and reflected the uphill struggle Ariddia was going to face. Any attempt to haul themselves up into the top three could only come about through exceptionally good playing. The team’s performance today, on home ground against Commerce Heights, was simply not “exceptional” enough.

Commerce Heights was never going to be an easy opponent to defeat, and the usual starting eleven were fielded as Ariddia’s best bet to pull off the difficult task. Two goals down after thirty-eight minutes, that task was looking increasingly impossible, until a somewhat chaotic situation in the penalty area in the fifty-fifth minute enabled Clément to slip a first goal in for the Rouge-et-Noirs. Not nearly enough, however, to prevent the opposite side from finishing with a comfortable three-one lead.

“We really have to give everything we’ve got in every single game,” Seul explained later. “Against the best teams in the group, because we just can’t afford to hand three points over to them. Against the supposedly ‘easy’ teams, because any loss to them is a disaster. And against the teams ranked on about the same level as us, because they’re really our biggest opponents for that third place.”

Seul, however, refuses to believe Ariddia will not be up to qualifying for another two or three Cups at least.

“A big part of winning is believing that we can do it,” he insisted. Still, with every passing match that possibility seems more and more out of reach. . .
Wentland
12-03-2006, 11:48
“Boss!!!!”

The Wentland players rushed to the side of their manager. “Get him in the dressing-room,” ordered Capper. “And get the medics here.”

The wheezing Bluff was carried into the dressing-room and put on a stretcher. The Spaamian medical staff were soon on the scene, defibrillator at the ready, catheters and needles hanging around. Just then the referee’s buzzer went for the team to go out.

“Jeez, we cannot go out now,” said Jenkins. “Tell the ref to hold off for a bit.”

Assistant manager Brissen went outside and spoke to the referee. “Er, we have a bit of a situation here…can we have a delay?”

Before the referee could answer a World Cup Committee member approached in stiff blue blazer. “What is the problem here? There is no written request for a postponement under By-law 44.2.”

Brissen, the referee and the member moved away from the Spaamian team. “I think our manager has had a heart attack…” Just as he said that Derrington’s head poked around the Wentland dressing-room door. “His heart’s going again…but he’s very poorly…”

“Well, has there been a written request for a postponement?”

“Of course there hasn’t, you buffoon!!! It’s just bloody happened!!!”

“Well, without a written request we cannot consider a postponement.”

“Oh, for f…” and with that Brissen jotted down “CAN WE HAVE A DELAY?” on a business card.

The member looked at the card. “On what grounds are you seeking a delay?”

“Our manager has had a f***ing HEART ATTACK!!! We cannot play in this condition.”

“Well, I’m afraid that that is insufficient ground to delay.”

Blake Wright had heard the raised voices and came outside to see if he could help. “YOU MEAN OUR MANAGER IS F***ING DYING AND WE HAVE TO PLAY THE F***ING MATCH?? WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!”

The member backed away in a hurry, saying rules are rules, and instructed the referee to book the Wentland team in its entirety if it waited beyond the 3 minutes allowed post-buzzer.

The referee approached Wright. “Look, I’m sorry, but I think we have to go ahead. Can you please see if your players will come out? Of course I will put all this in my report, but it’s not something I have any control over…”

When Blake Wright returned to the Wentland dressing-room, the players were aghast. “How CAN we go out there now???”

Brissen told them they must do. For the manager. For the country. For themselves.

***

The Went did not know anything was wrong until the national anthems were broadcast. None of the Wentland players joined in with the words. Most of them were looking askance, some at the tunnel from which they had just emerged. Two or three were in tears. Joe Okey looked on the verge of oblivion.

The game started and it was not a typical Wentland display. They treated the ball as if it were a live grenade. Get rid at any opportunity. The Spaamian players had seen there was a commotion in the tunnel but had no idea what it was and thought it was Christmas. Okey was physically and mentally collapsing and after a mere eight minutes wandered off the pitch to the dressing-room, to be replaced by Ron Fletcher.

At half-time the Wentland players ran off to the tunnel to find the latest news. “Critical but stable…”

The second-half was more of the same. A complete collapse was only averted by a stern rear-guard action. But even so it was a four-nil drubbing. Worst defeat since the Squornshelous Squash six years past.

It was a shattered team that had to re-build for the Haraki game. Would they have a manager?

***

The WFA chairman had heard the news and was shell-shocked. But he himself was sent into a paroxysm when he opened a letter marked “Private and Confidential.”

I

WARNED

YOU

“Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh my God. Oh no.”

***

Somewhere in the depths of Warpstone the one termed the Predictor smiled. The Luminous One would be pleased today.
Apologetic Kittens
12-03-2006, 13:04
The Kittens are reeling after a visit from Squornshelous. Their opponents demolished the Apologetic Kittens side.

Squornshelous dominated right from the start, exposing the flaw in Davis' new formation. They'd put 3 past Alington before the break, and added another three after it. The only consolation being the clever little chip by Gronko. But even that can't satiate the anger of the fans at this result. The Kittens showed no fight, no will to win. Though that takes nothing away from the performance of Squornshelous, who were simply marvellous.

And those same fans who called for the head of Wilson are no calling him back, they need him. He might not have been able to win, but his technique of holding Roberts back ensured this kind of result was all but impossible.
Swilatia
12-03-2006, 13:20
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif
Yesterday Swilatia has lost with the team from Praying2God. The match was very difficult for Swilatia, and ended with one of the strikers becoming injusred in their second attempt to score a goal. The march, however, still we lost to them.

I knew that would be able to defeat us if they defeated a higher-ranked team 6-1. When will we finally win again? Will it be today, or some later time?

Well, at least I know that todays match will be against Rordia, a team only slightly better than ours. this means that we DO have a chance of defeating them and finally reclaiming our top 3 position.

WCTracker
Key: Wins Losses Draws Byes
MD1 - Swilatia vs Bazalonia, 1-1, Rank 4
MD2 - Swilatia at Popolus, 3-0, Rank 3
MD3 - Swilatia at Rejistania, 0-4, Rank 5
MD4 - Swilatia vs The Archregimancy, 1-1, Rank 6
MD5 - Bye, Rank 7
MD6 - Swilatia at New Preussen, 2-1, Rank 4
MD7 - Swilatia vs The Footie Dream Team, 2-2, Rank 5
MD8 - Swilatia vs Praying2God, 0-2, Rank 5
MD9 - Swilatia at Rordia
Dance 2 Revolution
12-03-2006, 14:56
RP to follow, including:

Coverage of :

Dance 2 Revolution versus Kaze Progressa Under 21s
Dance 2 Revolution versus Nebuleux
Battle of Post WC12: Dance 2 Revolution versus Crystilakere

and also:

Aftermath of games
Half-way point analysis
Manager statements

and maybe more...
Milchama
12-03-2006, 16:32
Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Inside: Helpful hints for all our NMS travelers

Screw EL CID, Spot Nielson The Hero

An 89th minute by Spot Nielson gave the Milchama Warriors a very important 1-0 victory and put them tied with the Elrich Badgers at 10 points. The Warriors are still only in 4th place but that is based on goal difference and that will change in the second half of qualifying. Coach Jamie Smith said, "I told you we would beat Elrich and look I was right, Now we will beat Hiiraan and then Elrich will hopefully lose or draw against Tanah Burung to put us in third place." Now onto the match report as given to us by announcer Mike Becaan:

1st minute: "Milchama stride out on the pitch here in Elrich with the confidence of a team knowing their about to win. You have to think about that too considering that the Warriors just beat Elrich in the Cup of Harmony and that game started off the whole Peter Hobble which has plagued us throughout the World Cup. Anyway now the the match begins...

12th minute: "Flinters over to Kilinin passes back to Sanchez, Milchama working the midfield now. There's Sanchez with a pass to the wing for Copperlee who crosses into to Floren WHO SHOOTS! and misses high. Bad miss there for the Warriors could have been 1-0.

15th minute: Elrich on the attack now the Wolfman over to John Spinks Spinks finds Jamie Mudge WHO- stopped by Pevington. Kendric Pevington came over and stopped Mudge who was about to shoot.

25th minute: The game has slowed down to a midfield trickle but now the Warriors look to attack as Sanchez moves the ball to Faren who pasts his marker and puts a long to Copperlee who takes a shot and it goes wide. The Warriors seem to be getting closer now.

45th Minute: The first half was a pretty much a stalemate as both sides played hard but could not create enough quality chances to get the lead. The possesion also reflects that as the Warriors have 52% of the possesion with only 4 shots total.

52nd Minute: Milchama to attack again, Floren back Nielson who comes forward with a pass to Copperlee who passes over to J.J. Faren who kicks it high and Nielson tries to get it but the Wolfman is there first and clears it away. Still 0-0.

56th minute: Now Elrich finally gets on the attack. Allen to Spinks over to the winger Banks. Robin Banks swings it in for Elrich but Thompson get there and clears the danger BUT ITS ONLY TEMPORARY Elrich right on the ball and he shoots WHAT A SAVE BY CLAY FINTON!!!!!!! Ball was way to his left, and Finton was on the opposite side of the goal but he raced across and dived to save the ball from a certain goal. What a keeper.
57th minute: The danger isn't over yet though as the corner swings from Allen. Mudge and the Wolfman to try to get to it, The Wolfman heads it! but high really really high. Threat gone the tie still in tact.

72nd minute: The game has really slowed down. The Badgers now seem to be content with a draw as they have slowed their play and stopped the Warriors from getting the ball. Banks to Allen to Zebedee to Banks again, now Flinters steps in front and goes forward with his blinding pace. Past the midfield only the defence to stop him now, he plays the ball through looking for Nielson but Thomas comes out AND MISPLAYS IT!! It's slipped through his fingers and Nielson now shoots but SAVED! by the Wolfman who saved when he shot his body out and saved the ball with his head. Wow! that was the best chance the whole game for either side but its still 0-0.

80th Minute: "...mistake by Pevington that leaves Mudge to shoot he side steps the challenge by Sanchez and now takes his shot ITS ON TARGET AND SAVED! by a diving Clay Finton. Finton has again played his heart out now we can only hope that the Warrior offense can pick up some slack and beat the Badgers.

85th minute: The Badgers again on the attack but Pevington doing good now, as he stops Elrich who loops a pass thru to Mudge who takes a hard shot THAT BEATS FINTON!!!!! BUT HITS THE POST!!!!!!! Wow my heart stopped for a second there. The ball curled around Clay Finton but it curled too much and hit the post and is cleared by Silas Milckey.

89th minute: Now the Warriors finally on the offensive. Sanchez to Flinters who moves the ball up. Flinters space now closed down so he passes back to - its stolen by Robin Banks who tries to get it forward but his pass is intercepted by Mills Thompson who rids the ball to Antoine Sanchez who finds Copperlee. Copperlee with a loooooong pass to Spot Nielson on the 18 yard box. Nielson goes around turns shoots ITS PAST THE KEEPER AND IN!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spot Nielson with a shot of a lifetime has put the Warriors up 1-0 what a goal by Nielson. He turned around and put a bullet in the net.

90th Minute: Its over! what a victory for the Warriors as a late goal by Spot Nielson has given the Warriors 10 points and the win.
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=10565620
Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Nielson 89)
Elrich 0 (Hobble 65 ((jk)) haha?)

Page 2:
What NMS Travelers need to know

That's right for all you Stater travelers out there here is what you need to know about Milchama and the people in your group.

Group 1
Jeruselem (14)- Good people. We played them last WC and did alright.
New Montreal States (22)- We believe that it is our god given right to beat at everything if not then there will be rioting.
Druida (46)- We think they have some obscure connection to Schiavonia who we hosted a CoH with but we're not sure. Stupid drunkards.
Cuation (48)- They won the BoF once right?
Collonie (78)- Our Colony. We subjugated them for 160+ before our last Prime Minister Liam Horowitz let them go. Most people consider them to be less than regular Milchamians.
An Archy (134)- We like them. They like baseball.
Atheistic Right (193)- They're nutters each and every one of them.
CR Oscilloscopes (205)- Who?
Kirstiriera (211)- look at last
Vuam and Isma
12-03-2006, 17:21
Almost there... I'm writing the RPs for matchdays 5 and 6 now...

Gazetta de'Esporte

Last-minute Grak brings Hypocria to their knees.
Hypocria - 1 (Brian Beck 36)
Vuam and Isma - 1 (Stefan Grak 90+1)

Pylos is well known for it's footballing history, with the Pylos Reavers and the Oceanside Stadium. However, Vuam and Isma managed to wrestle away a point from Hypocria to stay one point off the bottom of the table, and to deny Hypocria a third spot.

Vuam and Isma were the underdogs right from the start, ranked 146 places below their counterparts. However, after the good match against Sarzonia, the Whites and Azures were fuelled up, and ready to give it all they had. Hypocria, however were the team that fielded in white and blue, forcing Vuam and Isma to play in their Red and Black away strip for the first time.

Both teams used a pretty defensive 4-5-1, and the game was consequently run by the midfielders. Even though V&I tried hard to keep the ball in midfield, Colm O'Connor and the defensive pairing of Marc, S'Baa, Brasiviev and Reguagui proved to be V&I's best move, out-playing Hypocria's lone striker. On the other hand, Fitzsimmons recieved very few balls, and was often obliged to drop down low in midfield to help the V&I midfield to keep posession of the ball.

However, if both attacks were absent, neither side's midfield lacked ispiration. After only 12 minutes, the whole stadium was in uproar as Molinari skipped 'round Yak, nutmegged Brasiviev, tricked Marc and S'Baa with a small chip, and fired a shot at the Vuam and Isma goal. Unluckily, his shot was off-target, leaving a relieved O'Connor looking at the ball whizz past his post. Molinari didn't give up, evidently fired on by his double against Legalese. All through the match, his tricks and turns were the main show in the center of the park.

However, the wings were no longer Hypocria's territory, with Ferron and Bercali both unable to get past Marc and Reguagui with any regularity. However, O'Driscoll and Grak were the wizards of the wing, with Hypocria's offside trap not working at all, as Webber strayed too deep. As a result of this, Grak wasn't offside for the whole match, something that had never happened in a competitive match with Vuam and Isma before, and O'Driscoll could make the best use of his favoured trick, the nutmeg. O'Driscoll and Grak were driving forces, as Lidon and Dynamique remained silent, to show that Vuam and Isma were prepared to step up their playing level to take on Hypocria.

But Hypocria's class shone through. Beck played the ball to Baxter, who played a classy heel-pass into his run, leaving the Vuam and Isma defence open, as Beck powered into the box. Colm came out to smother the bal, but Beck got his first ever goal for the Hyppos as he lifter the ball over O'Connor and into the back of the net.

As the dying minutes of the match were well underway, Grak played an impressive cross-field ball to O'Driscoll. O'Driscoll replied by playing the ball back to Grak on the opposite wing. Using the space created in the Hypocrian defence by this move, Grak surged forwards and drilled in a low cross for Fitzsimons. However, Fitzsimons' shot was pushed 'round the post by a convincing Lomia. O'Driscoll rushed to play the corner, and S'baa got his head to the ball, powering it out of Lomia's reach, but the ball still hit the crossbar. Grak then just had to smash the ball into the roof of the net to bring a point back to Vuam and Isma.


Gazetta de'Esporte

Masilela and Ghauri supersubs!
Vuam and Isma - 1 (Masilela 86)
Legalese - 0

Vuam and Isma have started to become last-minute heros after what happened in Hypocria. But this time, no need for any great ado, as Vuam and Isma showed a far more solid side than against Hypocria, and Masilela's 86th minute goal was nothing more than the accomplishment of what Vuam and Isma had deserved seen how they had played during the whole match.

Fitzsimons was unlucky to not get his name on the scoresheet as he hit two shots only just outside the goal, and had another stopped by a defender after he had beaten Amarino. Legalese on the other hand barely bothered Colm, and Brasiviev's 16 interceptions just show how monstruous he was in bringing down Legalese attacks.

However, as the game west on, and the scoresheet stayed empty, Fischmann made a last-ditch attempt to bring three points away from the game with a double swap only 10 minutes before the final whistle. Taking off Fitzsimons and Yak to replace them with Masilela and Ghauri was an inspired move that payed off.

Only five minutes after having entered the pitch, Ghauri intercepted a weak pass by Ximeco, and drilled a ball through for Masilela. Masilela's phenomenal surge of speed left him in acres of space, and he simply had to drill his low shot between Amarino's legs.

Masilela and Ghauri were more than Legalese could cope with, and proved to be a wonderful pairing of substitutes, full of speed when their opponents have none.
Spaam
12-03-2006, 18:11
Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


Waffles Know How To Please The Home Crowd

Spaam continued its unbeaten streak and home winning streak in emphatic
style, beating their biggest rivals in a landslide. The tone was set in the first
minute, when the Waffles suprised the Swifts with some quick ballwork,
resulting in Spaamanian captain and striker Ewa Ivey getting a goal after just
71 seconds. Wentland never seemed to really be in the match, with their
defense barely passable, and their attack practically non-existant. Credan
Trethewey, one of the Trethewey brothers, got his first international goal just
before half time to send the Waffles to a two nil lead at the break.

In the second half, Wentland's offense picked up, but it was still not nearly
good enough to break through Spaam's world class defense. Meanwhile,
Crewenna Roskelly got her second goal of qualifying in the 68th minute, and
Ivey got her second in the second last minute, to send the Waffles away four
goals to none winners. After the match, it turned out that the Swifts
manager had suffered a heart attack just before the match, which may have
contributed slightly to Wentland's performance, but when it came down to it
they were simply outclassed.

Spaam 4:0 Wentland
(1 Ivey 1, 89; 11 Trethewey 42; 4 Roskelly 68)


The Group Of Death

It was a predictable result in Haraki, with Starblaydia coming back from their
shock loss to defeat the home team by two. East Lithuania gave all teams a
scare, coming back from two nil down to draw at home to Oliverry.
Shing-Shang managed to draw at home against what seemed to be a
stronger Obsidianus outfit, and Priggdom had the bye.

Haraki 0:2 Starblaydia
East Lithuania 2:2 Oliverry
Shing-Shang 1:1 Obsidianus

The Group of Death looks slightly less deadly, though second place looks very
crowded. Starblaydia stays on top, and now has a two point lead over
everyone else. Second is less clear, with either Spaam or Oliverry in that
position, depending on how you rank the teams: on goal difference, Oliverry is
ahead by one, but by goal percentage, Spaam's is more than double
Oliverry's. In any case, Spaam is making sure that all teams know they are
not written off yet.

Wentland slips to fourth position, and looks less strong than they once were,
while Priggdom is barely still within sight of qualification. East Lithuania seems
comfortable in the middle of the table, though a few good wins could elevate
the dark horses, while it looks like Haraki will now be battling to stay out of
the wooden spoon position. Shing-Shang is still last, on every single
statistic, with Obsidianus only two points ahead of them.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts PPG G %
1 Starblaydia 7 5 1 1 21 2 19 16 2.3 1050
2 Spaam 7 4 2 1 11 2 9 14 2.0 550
3 Oliverry 7 4 2 1 19 9 10 14 2.0 211
4 Wentland 7 4 1 2 15 14 1 13 1.9 107
5 Priggdom 7 3 2 2 11 13 -2 11 1.6 85
6 East Lithuania 7 2 3 2 9 9 0 9 1.3 100
7 Haraki 7 2 0 5 2 11 -9 6 0.9 18
8 Obsidianus 7 1 1 5 6 15 -9 4 0.6 40
9 Shing-Shang 8 0 2 6 4 23 -19 2 0.3 17


Next Week

It looks like easy home wins again next week, except for Spaam's match. The
Waffles will be confident, winning all their home matches in shutouts, but East
Lithuania showed that they are capable of suprising, so many analysts are
cautious, especially after the Shing-Shang incident. Starblaydia should
defeat Priggdom, Oliverry should beat Obsidianus, and Wentland should defeat
the hapless Harakians. Shing-Shang have the bye, so will stay at the
bottom.

Statistics

Home vs Away
P W D L GF GA GD Pts PPG G %
Home 3 3 0 0 9 0 9 9 3.0 ∞
Away 4 1 2 1 2 2 0 5 1.3 100
Total 7 4 2 1 11 2 9 14 2.0 550

Goal Scorers
No Name G P
1 Ewa Ivey 4 7
17 Mylor Goss 3 7
4 Crewenna Roskelly 2 7
6 Cleder Cawrse 1 4
11 Credan Trethewey 1 7
7 Colan Trebilcock -1 4

History
1 Spaam 4:0 Obsidianus W
2 Shing-Shang 1:1 Spaam D
3 Oliverry 1:0 Spaam L
4 BYE
5 Spaam 1:0 Haraki W
6 Priggdom 0:0 Spaam D
7 Starblaydia 0:1 Spaam W
8 Spaam 4:0 Wentland W
9 Spaam ?:? East Lithuania ?


Photo Opportunities

Waffles star football brothers, Credan and Weep Trethewey (left and right).

http://www.boxnews.com.ua/photos/356/Klitschko%20brothers4.jpg
Audioslavia
12-03-2006, 18:44
http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt
A Triumph of Experience

Kelse have been one of the most talked-about sides in the world in recent weeks. Their ease in beating the group's lower teams and brilliant displays against Ariddia and Chicanada, especially the latter where they were winners in a tight match away from home, have captured the attention of the world's media on their way to a heady second place after just six matches in their first every World Cup.

Audioslavia have also been turning a few heads. Coming into their match they'd won six out of their six games - the second best winning streak in the nation's history behind seven game blitzes in World Cups 13, 14 and 20, and along with their famous 'impossible mission' comeback in World Cup 9.

The pressure to perform was on both sides. Kelse are rapidly moving away from their 'nothing to lose - lets go for it' mentality and are anxious to keep their noses ahead of the chasing pack, whilst the 'slaves are always under immense pressure to win every match from their billions and billions of supporters back home, plus, there was the little matter of emulating the sides of old in getting a seven-game winning streak, and possibly doing the unthinkable and bettering it in the coming game against Berner Street.

The match kicked off with the Kelse team playing at a frantic pace. Buoyed on by a vociferous crowd they bullied the 'slaves into their own half from the off and started raining dangerous shots on the Audioslavian goal. San Marca set up two golden opportunities for Ferarro and Satenta in the opening twenty minutes, but poor finishing and the acrobatics of Gunnar Yngve kept the Kelsian team at bay. Nevertheless their three pronged attack were getting plenty of penetration as the side surged forward.

For all their countless opportunities, however, Kelse were finding the 'slavian defence an immovable object in front of their unstopppable force, and the two sides, forced a stalemate in the Audioslavian end of the park. Kelse got themselves another opportunity late on in the second half, with a pin-point pass from Enzo being latched on to by Ferraro. The striker shimmied past Petaja and hooked a shot round Yngve, but found only the post rather than the back of the net. It was from here that the 'slaves produced their first lethal counter-attack. A long ball was hit up field for Polsson to run onto, and run he did as he beat the ball past Prima on the right and played an expertly weighted diagonal ball to Vitalis. Arturo Vitalis, half a yard ahead of the last defender Pilot Scantrelli, bore down on goal. Alfonso Alvarez came to meet the striker on the edge of his area but was beaten by an expertly timed lob, and the 'slaves were one-nil up after their first real chance.

The Kelsian side came out for the second half with all guns blazing again, and this time started to pick their opportunities better. Espinoza's driven header in the fifty-fourth minute beat Yngve but went the wrong side of the post, and just five minutes later in a mad goalmouth scramble the home side somehow failed to score from five yards despite the goalkeeper being nowhere, thanks to two brave blocks from Vainamoinen and a last ditch tackle by Didi Mussorgsky.

However, just as Kelse's attacks were becoming more incisive, so was Audioslavia's counter attacks, and a seventieth minute breakaway almost yielded a second goal but for the reactions of Alfonso Alvarez to tip a close-range Vitalis volley round the post.

As impressive as Kelse were throughout the first three quarters of the game, it was these last twenty minutes that saw the 'slaves take the initiative, taking posession of the ball for long periods of time and inviting the Kelsian midfielders to run themselves ragged chasing it. Despite the attacking prowess of the Kelsian side, it would prove to be experience that won out on the day, with the 'slaves taking all three points thanks to that one, solitary strike from Arturo Vitalis.

FINAL SCORE
Kelse 0
Audioslavia 1 (Vitalis 45+1)

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 7 7 0 0 14 5 9 21
2 Commerce Heights 7 4 1 2 12 6 6 13
3 Kelse 7 4 1 2 12 8 4 13
4 Chicanada 7 4 0 3 8 4 4 12
5 Nedalia 7 3 1 3 13 14 -1 10
6 Ariddia 7 3 1 3 11 12 -1 10
7 Pedriana 7 1 2 4 6 11 -5 5
8 Berner Street 7 1 2 4 6 11 -5 5
9 Ocmeoub 8 1 0 7 5 16 -11 3

Its all looking very bright indeed for the 'slaves, currently eight points ahead of the field after just seven games, and almost as importantly, a win over eighth placed Berner Street would give the Audioslavian side their longest winning streak in history. In the other matches last night, Chicanada pulled off an emphatic and comfortable win over Nedalia to put them a point out of second place and seriously wind the Nedalian's in their attempt to stamp their authority over the lesser ranked nations of the group. Commerce Heights put pay to Ariddia's form by thumping them 3-1 in les noir et rouge's own stadium, whilst at the bottom Pedriana scraped a 1-0 win over Ocmeoub to make absoloutely no impression whatsoever on anything.

IBJJ,G'nB
Tynelia
12-03-2006, 18:58
((ooc- a bit short on time so have to be brief-ish))

TYNELIA SCORES AGAINST THE BEST!

Despite Tynelia's 3-1 defeta tothe group's top seed Total n Utter Insanity at the Presidential Coliseum Coach Marcus O'Meara was in surprisingly high spirits. The loss did drop Tynelia down to 8th in the group but other than the top three teams no one seems to be able to sustain any momentum and a win against the Kazoo People could vault Tynelia into fourth. When asked about his good feelings O'Meara answered enthusiaticly.

"Us and Bettia, that's it. I think the offense has finally turned the corner now. Vladimar hung in there against a tough attack and kept us in the game. We've played our best soccer since our bye and we're due to upset someone. Everyone else in the group has pulled one off, now its our turn. Realistically we probably need to win at least six and probably seven of our last nine matches to have a shot the way the top three have played so far but we're on the verge of something. I can feel it. We're finally building some momentum here. Watch out for us in the second half of this thing."

It took some time before experts made the intial connection O'Meara claimed. Until this match, only Bettia had managed to score a goal against the tough Total n Utter Insanity defense and now Tynelia with its lone goal joins that elite company. Ironically Tynelia is also the only team to hold Bettia under three goals and have yet to lose a game by more than two goals so far. This could very well be the motivational tool the team needs to make some sort of consistant run.

The game also showed a renewal of the past never say die attitude of the team. Despite being down 2-0 at the half, Tynelia came back only eight minutes into the second half with a nice goal by Jay Masterson who has rediscovered his scoring touch to pull the home team within one and shocked the Total n Utter Insanity squad. The next ten minutes Tynelia pressed the attack in the hopes of getting the equalizer. Feeding on the raucous crowd's energy the tying score nearly came when a bullet boucned off the top of the crossbar denying Adrian Pytte of his first world cup goal.

The pace and effort however was too much to maintain and the coup de grace was delivered at the 72nd minute when a Total n Utter Insanity breakaway delivered the third and final goal. Try as they might Tynelia could not break through again and the favorites were content to take the air out of the ball and go home with a trickier than expected win.

Next up for Tynelia. The Kazoo People- who survived an early winless first three games to come on and take over a narrow fourth place. Five teams are within two points of that spot so the standings may very well change drastically over the next game or two. Everyone in that group of teams will be rooting for anyone who plays Nanakaland from this point on if any of these teams hope to move into the qualifying trio. It will be a tough task but we'll find out in only nine more matches.
Mr Chuck Norris
12-03-2006, 19:58
Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Hello everyone watching, stop whatever you're doing and give three cheers for the Fighting Norris, who are currently on a winning streak after their most recent match. To summarize:

Mr Chuck Norris 4 (Chuck Norris 10, 13, 17, 20)
The Belmore Family 1 (Alan Belmore 89)

The home stadium of The Belmore Family was surprisingly packed with Fighting Norris fans as the match went underway. The Belmore Family, despite having homefield advantage were instantly stunned by the offense of the rookie Fighting Norris that have failed so miserably in the past. The Belmore Family defenders, Simon Cuthbert, Daniel Austin, James Ross, and Robin Aggleton were stuggling to keep up with Fighting Norris forwards, The Burger King, OJ Pimpson, and Chuck Norris, from the first few minutes of the match.

It appeared that the rusty Belmore Family defense were already worn out after the first five minutes, for they began to allow better charges by the Fighting Norris. As the ball rolled out of bounds off The Belmore Family's midfielder Oli Gadd in the ninth minute, The Fighting Norris planned their first attack. The ball was inbounded to Fighting Norris forward The Burger King who flipped the ball up into the air only to meet Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicking foot to send the ball into the net for the Fighting Norris' first goal in minute ten.

Play resumed and instantly, the Fighting Norris were back on the offensive. OJ Pimpson danced around the Belmore Family defense with relative ease only to pass the ball on a cross to meet Chuck Norris' head, which chalked him up his second goal of the day in minute 13. If you thought you heard us wrong, you didn't, he didn't roundhouse kick the ball, he headed it in. This is the first of so many goals that Chuck Norris didn't score with a roundhouse kick. The fans were amazed, Bob Janney, coach of the Fighting Norris, was amazed, Chuck Norris humself was amazed. The Fighting Norris had already built a 2-0 lead in an unfamiliar stadium.

It didn't take very long at all for the Fighting Norris offense to start yet another charge. Chuck Norris, the big man himself, took the ball right past several panting Belmore Family defenders who struggled to stay upright as they chased down the ball. He had yet another chance to score another goal, which would mark his third of the day. He took the shot, and BOOM, the hat trick was complete, the second in Fighting Norris history.

However, the scoring wasn't done yet, a 3-0 lead wasn't enough for the pumped up Fighting Norris. Fighting Norris midfielder Zach Brickhouse took a long shot all the way from midfield, which would have landed in the net had it not hit the Burger King in the back of the head, who immeadiatly fell to the ground, distracting all of The Bellmore Family's players. As everyone gazed upon The Burger King lying semi-unconcious on the ground, Chuck Norris easily slipped another goal in in minute 17. The 4-0 lead would apparently be enough as coach of the Fighting Norris, Bob Janney changed his strategy to a completely defensive one. The half finished with a astonishing score of 4-0 in the favor of the Fighting Norris.

The second half showed a struggling Belmore Family offense, who had been watching most of the game, not getting many chances to actualy charge. The imfamous Alan Belmore raged down the field again and again only to be stopped by the Fighting Norris defense. As The Belmore Family continued to wear down, the Fighting Norris defense stayed strong, not allowing more than 2 shots on goal the whole half. However, they slipped up in minute 89 when Alan Belmore, being the power that he is, caught an unsuspecting Fighting Norris defense off-guard when he launched a long shot for the one and only Belmore Family score. 4-1 was the score when time expired as the Fighting Norris began their celebration.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This couldn't have been any better", slurred a moderatly drunk Bob Janney the night after the match. "We went into their home and showed them how to play football. Everything else in the group also went according to plan. For those who haven't noticed, that win sat us down in third place in our group, which would send us to the qualification playoff! The only problem is, we have eleven points in third place. Fourth, fifthm and sixth place also all have 11 points. The only reason we are where we are is because of a goal difference. With a tough match at Turori next week, our chances of staying where we are are next to nil. Here's how I see things, the four matches in our group next week are TheSuncoastofFlorida at Liverpool England, Allied Anime Worlds at The Lowland Clans, Rolatia at Yafor 2, and we're at Turori. This is gonna be a bad matchday for us. The only good news is thay TheSuncoastofFlorida will surely lose to Liverpool England by a large margin, which will keep them at eleven points with an awful goal difference, which will keep them below us. The Lowland Clans are guarenteed a win at home against a disappointing Allied Anime Worlds team, which will put them at eleven points with a good goal difference. I'm sadly having to admit that Rolatia will probably lose at Yafor 2, which will put Yafor 2 above us also. The only way we're going to be able to keep up in this group is to win at Turori, which is gonna be tough... real tough. However, things may take an upward turn during matchday eleven, but that's a rambling for another day. Wish us luck".

Although the Fighting Norris are looking good lately their future is still very questionable.

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2 (Loss 1-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds (Win 4-2)
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida (Draw 0-0)
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England (Loss 2-5)
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans (Draw 1-1)
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia (Win 2-0)
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family (Win 4-1)
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Fighting Norris Record: (3-2-2)
Casari
12-03-2006, 20:09
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Form continues in 4-1 win against Majeristan
Hill uses forum to take cheap shots at other nations

On a night where the Casaran team won convincingly away, Casaran Coach Vivica Hill decided to ignore Casari's own match and focus her wrath on others.

Of course, not willing to pick a normal target, she focused on the Archregimancy and their new policy of using "Dream Simulacra" in their matches.

"I don't think that this is anywhere close to being allowed. They're using fake players. They're dreams, they don't even need to hold themselves to the bounds of the reality that you and I know and love. I bet one would cross the field in five seconds." Hill said. "I know if I tried to field a team of superhuman robots, I'd be taking quite a beating in the media. Let's leave the sports to the real humans, shall we?"

After that, she turned her attention to the mild "Who's Alan Belmore" controversy that came about after she let the media in the locker room last match.

"Who cares who Alan Belmore is? Do we play him sometime during qualifying? No, we don't. I'm a coach, not a history teacher. If you think my players should know the full history of the World Cup, you teach them on your off hours. But I doubt the record's going to be any better if you do."

Lastly, she managed to respond quickly to a question about the ongoing coaching situation before returning to the locker room.

"I like to think our record speaks for itself right now."
Krytenia
12-03-2006, 21:35
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Dislocated Hyp
by Rami Niblick in Ousevale

THE numbing defeat against Sarzonia may have dampened the spirits, but it has not dampened the determination of the young Aces side. In the event, they exacted revenge for AOCAF Eleven with victory over a tough Hypocrian side.

Tony Aspell, who played in that semi-final defeat, was in stunning form. The mercurial centre-back was impenetrable as he led his side against a first half onslaught from the hyped-up (sic) visitors. As the second half drew on, though, the defence was broken, and in the end it was Aspell himself who nodded the game's only goal from a corner.

This was three important points for the Krytenians; they will be hoping three more will soon follow as they play Legalese in their next game. See you there!

KRYTENIA - 1
Aspell 76

HYPOCRIA - 0


SCORERS:
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 4 (+1 Cafetiere Cup, one hat-trick)
G. Kennedy - 4
T. Aspell - 2
J. Quinnell - 2
A. Pedroso - 1
R. Sauvage - 1

FIXTURES:
MD01: H v RCO W 1-0 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
CAF1: A v FMJ L 1-2
MD03: H v LTH D 1-1 (Walton Gardens, Simpson)
MD04: A v PAL W 7-0
MD05: H v RVL W 4-2 (Midland Stadium, Bromham)
MD06: H v SRZ L 1-2 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD07: H v HYP W 1-0 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD08: A v LGL ?????
MD09: H v VAI ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: A v RCO ?????
CAF2: H v FMJ ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD12: A v LTH ?????
MD13: H v PAL ????? (Lays Road Ground, Leston)
MD14: A v RVL ?????
MD15: A v SRZ ?????
MD16: A v HYP ?????
MD17: H v LGL ????? (Oxley Park, Everton City)
MD18: A v VAI ?????
Schiavonia
12-03-2006, 21:39
The Schiavone Scribe
Mac smacked
The Macabees 1-2 Schiavonia

At last, Schiavonia have played an away game. And, as if to prove that it isn't only at the King Francesco Stadium that they can win, they only went and won!

Another comeback, too. Not from Gary Topp this time though. Though he did come into the game later on after Craig McAndrew had an unfortunate incident with an advertising board.

Not before helping the Sloths win the game, though. Despite going behind to an Otto Mannerheim goal, the Sloths never gave up, and two minutes of magic from McAndrew and madness from Franz Xavier gave Schiavonia the win.

First, Xavier tried to send a backpass to Hans Kahn in the Macabees goal, only to see it end up short, with McAndrew latching onto it, rounding the keeper and rolling the ball into the empty net.

Still shaken from this, Xavier received the ball from the kick off, hit it straight at McAndrew, who charged past him, only to get caught by his trailing leg. Penalty, and Kenny Sanderson doesn't miss that kind of opportunity. 2-1.

And that's how it finished. Just Jon Parkin to come before all the midway analysis can begin.

Final score
The Macabees 1 (Mannerheim 52)
Schiavonia 2 (McAndrew 67, Sanderson 68 pen)
Chicanada
12-03-2006, 21:46
Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Home to Kodiak and Snow Leopard News

Huh?
Threats Lead To Explosive 3-0 Victory

Eastentown - Note to Jaquee, the MSDP and the Union-Liberals:

Keep threatenting. It might get us in.

The CFA's Do-Or-Die Comunique may have created a decent result for a change, as the Kodiaks scored a rather impressive 3-0 victory over a Nedalia side comming off an impressive victory over Commerce Heights. The win moves the Kodiaks back within striking distance of the playoffs, but the nation refuses to buy that the win will shift the team into the tournament.

Caris Granhaus led the Kodiaks, scoring in the 9th minute thanks to some more effective play by Olani Pjan, playing her first match since The Disaster. Pjan scored a couple times as well, pushing the Kodiaks up to 2-0 right before the half off a header from Granhaus and the clincher in the 73rd minute off a rather clumbsy Nedalia challenge led to a penalty shot.

Playing before a rather sparse 23,000 in the cavernous Depot Centre, the Chicanada side still looked rather tired and flustered, as they did during the Audioslavia match. However, the jitters seemed to subside as the Kodiaks finally moved back into the groove of the Marginal Diamond that worked well in their first two wins. Also, playing in front of a nation that will gladly rip the team apart at the seams as well as plenty of politicians who are using the teams woes to try and up each other thanks to yesterday's announcement of the Union-Liberals pulling out of the current government, leading to Presidum Jeraldine Lyiali calling for Colonial Assembly elections, comming in seven weeks time (OOC...so next week!).

Next up is a fellow up-and-down team in Arrida, as the team moves to the Midlands and settle in Goedi. The match will be carried on Canal 2 starting at 1100, and most major city stadias opening to see the game around 1200. Game starts at 1350.

Kodiak National Side Schedule (Maybe we can finish 6th! That's a change!)
MD01: W 1-0 v Pedriana (@ Moutainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD02: W 1-0 @ Ocmeoub
MD03: L 1-0 @ Commerce Heights
MD04: off day - plans for training in Kinsington
MD05: L 1-0 v Kelse (@ New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD06: W 2-0 @ Berner Street
MD07: L 2-1 @ Audioslavia
MD08: W 3-0 v Nedalia (@ Depot Centre, Cana)
MD09: v Arrida (@ Heartland Stadium, Goedi)
MD10: @ Pedriana
MD11: v Ocmeoub (@ BFC Pavillion, Bishop County)
MD12: v Commerce Heights (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD13: v Yafor 2 (exibition game @ Steelgrounds, Atens)
MD14: @ Kelse
MD15: v Berner Street (@ Coastal Stadium, New Glasgow)
MD16: v Audioslavia (@ Southampton National Square)
MD17: @ Nedalia
MD18: @ Arrida
Wentland
12-03-2006, 22:20
Pre-match press conference, Richard Whitmore Centre, Bellstead

-Mr Brissen, what is the latest status of Edgar Bluff?

-He is currently in hospital, under sedation, having been flown back from Spaam. His life is not in immediate danger.

-What about the letter that brought all this on?

-We are still in contact with the Committee on that. We are confused as to why such a letter was sent as as far as we are concerned there was nothing wrong with the penalty against Oliverry. But the Committee has not answered us yet.

-Is Bluff ever likely to return?

-It is too soon to say.

-What are your tactics for the Haraki game?

-Stick with the tried-and-tested 4-4-2. Joe Okey is being rested and so we have the Fletchers back. Okey is feeling better now after his collapse as it is apparent that his going missing was not the cause of Edgar’s heart attack. They’re a pretty defensive team, so it should be interesting to see how our more attacking line-up fares. We’ve got the youngsters up front, Barnes and Treves, to start with.

***

Home team dressing room, The Sir Kenneth Kendall Stadium, Bellstead.

Assistant Baldy Brissen was talking quietly for once, not the usual ebullient self.

“We know what we’ve got to do. 4th is not going to be good enough. We must put the last match behind us. Before the turnaround we need to keep our run going, just get the points, the wins, and the others will come our way. Remember we still have Oliverry and Spaam at home so we do have some advantage.

“And let’s win this one. For Edgar.”

The players huddled for a pre-match shout out. Then they marched into the tunnel ready to face the Hawks. Normally swifts fled the hawks…would it be turnaround?

The Line-Up

1 Francis Derrington

13 Ron Fletcher

4 Benny Jones

5 Gus Jenkins

14 Don Fletcher

7 Will James

6 John Capper

10 Joe Weston

11 Cosmo Kent

8 Francis Treves

21 Tommy Barnes
Dorian and Sonya
12-03-2006, 22:34
Unicorns To Face Hard Task In Eauz

Queen Sonya Sabre departed the plane in Eauz. This was the next stop for the Unicorns as they finished the road-trip heavy first half of the qualification process. The squad had already pulled shock results against Milchama, Tanah Burung, and most notably - knocked off Vilita at their home. She dearly hoped such cards would again be in favor of her young squad today.

The Unicorns had a wonderful bye date on MD8. They had stayed in ASMV to watch the match between the Sea Dragons and the Zucchinis. Hope was that they picked up a few things that would help them today in their match against the Group 3 leaders.

At least this part of the qualifiers would be over after today. The second half would see a lot of home matches. If the Mystical Unicorns were to continue hope of a miracle qualification, they needed to step up and take care of business at their place. But enough of that one. Eauz was the opponent today. If the squad lost focus on that fact, this one could turn out really ugly.
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
12-03-2006, 22:35
Sea Dragons Edge Out Zucchinis

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network

The qualification round again returned to Stadii Se Draggonni Arcea for the Sea Dragons to face off against a struggling squad from Giant Zucchini. After the missed opportunity against Tadjikistan, this match was very important if ASMV wished to continue its good run at actually qualifying.

The home crowd was pumped up and very energized as the match began. Even the squad from Dorian and Sonya was there, although a bit overwhelmed at the size and volume of the Sea Dragons new stadium. That crowd advantage of 140,000+ would make the difference.

Giant Zucchini looked to be a bit shell-shocked from the beginning, and never really got into the match. A long pass from Evan Evans to Porche Alexander in the 19th minute set up a blistering shot that the Zucchini keeper was helpless to stop. The vaunted ASMV defense then took over as usual, forcing the Zucchini attack to surrender the ball time and time again. Physical play from Micah Swift and the Banta-N’bai brothers wore down what would normally have been a very effective attacking scheme.

In the 60th minute, Allyson Shade stole the ball from a Zucchini striker and quickly moved the ball to MalachI James at midfield. The Zucchini defense quickly closed in and James was force to move the ball over to Kirelenko, just on the ASMV side of the pitch. Then Pablo Iglesias found some room on the left side of the box and a brilliant pass from Kirelenko set him up perfectly. The Zucchini keeper tried to close down the angle, but Iglesias’ shot sailed just past his fingertips and into the net. Score now 2-0 ASMV.

Giant Zucchini would get a break. A hard tackle from Unori Banta-N’bai gave the visitors a late penalty shot. That shot proved too much for Shaun Conarky to handle and Giant Zucchini pulled within a point. ASMV then held on for the win as the Zucchinis found new life too late. Final Score: ASMV 2-1 Giant Zucchini.

Group 11 is very tight at the top of the board. Tadjikistan, ASMV, and Pastorville are within 2 points of each other behind group leaders Lovisa. The Sea Dragons play host to Pastorville on MD9 in a very important match for both of these defensive minded squads.
Krytenia
12-03-2006, 23:20
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Four-law-n
by Rami Niblick in Legalese

EIGHT goals and points shared. Such is the life of the young Aces. Despite defensive frailties, JJP and Kennedy filled their boots once more. Phil Neasden almost had a vein pop, though, as Aspell and Stevenson somehow contrived to help Legalese to four goals. Consistency will be required against a strong Vuam & Isma side.

LEGALESE - 4
Duff 36, 81
Tunis 54
Ximeco 73

KRYTENIA - 4
Jaffacake-Phillips 21, 28
Kennedy 44, 67

SCORERS:
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 6 (+1 Cafetiere Cup, one hat-trick)
G. Kennedy - 6
T. Aspell - 2
J. Quinnell - 2
A. Pedroso - 1
R. Sauvage - 1

FIXTURES:
MD01: H v RCO W 1-0 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
CAF1: A v FMJ L 1-2
MD03: H v LTH D 1-1 (Walton Gardens, Simpson)
MD04: A v PAL W 7-0
MD05: H v RVL W 4-2 (Midland Stadium, Bromham)
MD06: H v SRZ L 1-2 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD07: H v HYP W 1-0 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD08: A v LGL D 4-4
MD09: H v VAI ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: A v RCO ?????
CAF2: H v FMJ ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD12: A v LTH ?????
MD13: H v PAL ????? (Lays Road Ground, Leston)
MD14: A v RVL ?????
MD15: A v SRZ ?????
MD16: A v HYP ?????
MD17: H v LGL ????? (Oxley Park, Everton City)
MD18: A v VAI ?????
The Kazoo Peoples
12-03-2006, 23:59
Head Coach Manni Aka was handed a sealed envelope immediately following the loss to Nanakaland.


Dear Mr. Aka,

You have been warned on the Kazoos' abysmal perfromance in World Cup qualifying once before, and we don't want to go empty on our promises. We said that had you lost another pair of matches in a row, we would have to terminate your contract.

That being said, it is with our deepest regrets that we have replaced you with Neil Kabants, former coach of the Milchama side from World Cup 23, despite being described as "a nut from Collonie who has been turned from every job he has ever applied for since World Cup 23 when he led Milchama to a last place finish."

You will receive the remainder of your signing bonus with the Kazoos in a few weeks.

We wish you the best with future job offerings. We offer you a job with the last-place Kazoo City Kazoos, the worst team in the KFA. If you improve their record, you may or may not coach the World Cup side in future years.

As for your Minister of Sport position, it has been filled by Mr. Kabants on an interim basis, until we find a suitable replacement.

You may work your way up to your former position by working in the Mail Room.

Sincerely,

The Minstry of Sport


Aka, already thoroughly drunk, was expecting this letter. As his eyes flicked across the page, a tear fell and landed on the paper.

"You okay, Coach?" asked midfielder Mark Perknowleski.

"Ye-- *achem*, yeah, I'm fine," replied the hoarse voice of Aka, cracking mid-sentence.

He began to write....

---

"I heard he died!"

"I heard he attempted suicide!"

"I heard he ate a whole wheel of cheese!"

"I heard he had a heart attack!"

"I heard he had problems with his sex life!"

"I heard he suffered from chronic depression."

"I heard he was fired from the Kazoo national side's head coach position!"

Rumors were flying. Some true, some not so true. But a few things were known for certain:

1. Aka's contract had been terminated by the Ministry of Sport.
2. Aka was rushed to the hospital at 1:57 AM earlier this morning.
3. Neil Kabants is now the interim Head Coach of the national side, as well as the interim Minister of Sport.

How did this all come to pass?

After the Kazoos dropped a tough loss to the Nanakaland Nanakabirds by a margin of 3-2.

The first half was, like most other matches, a back-and-forth battle at midfield. But each side managed to score a goal: The Kazoo Peoples at minute 35 (Lampshade) and Nanakaland at minute 42.

The second half was much more heated, as Head Coach Manni Aka knew his job was on the line. He encouraged his side with all of his heart, but that was too little to push the Kazoos to victory. A Kazoo goal to take the lead at minute 61 (Lampshade's second goal of the game) was almost immediately nullified by two quick scores by the Nanakaland Nanakabirds (minute 64 and 67, the Nanakaland's forward completing the hat trick).

Demoralised and tired, the Kazoo side seemed to give up. The Nanakabirds seemed to sense this, and was easy on the Kazoos for the rest of the match. One could have just as easily wave the white flag.

The Kazoos try out their new coach and try and win a game to try rise further in Group 2.

Tynelia 1-3 Total n Utter Insanity
The Weegies 1-1 Bettia
Nanakaland 3-2 The Kazoo Peoples
The New Chakovnia 2-3 Risa-Aramour

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bettia 7 6 1 0 22 10 12 19
2 Total n Utter Insanity 7 6 0 1 18 4 14 18
3 Nanakaland 7 5 0 2 12 11 1 15
4 The Kazoo Peoples 7 3 0 4 12 14 -2 9
5 Algal states 7 3 0 4 11 14 -3 9
6 The Weegies 7 2 2 3 9 11 -2 8
7 Risa-Aramour 7 2 2 3 6 11 -5 8
8 Tynelia 7 2 1 4 6 8 -2 7
9 The New Chakovnia 8 0 0 8 9 22 -13 0

The Bettia tie with The Weegies stunned everyone, as most thought that Bettia would continue to get wins all through World Cup qualifying. The loss by the Kazoo Peoples didn't hurt their position in the group (they stay at #4), but points-wise, they are now 6 behind Nanakaland, who has 15. It will take a whole bunch of effort for the Kazoos to even have a chance at qualifying. A Kazoo loss against our next opponent Tynelia will more than likely sink the Kazoos to at least sixth place. With only two points between fourth and eighth, this will be an interesting journey. The New Chakovnia is still winless (0-0-8), but is off for Matchday 9.

---

Aka sealed his letter in an envelope. He marked it "URGENT." He took a ride in a taxi to the team hotel, placed the note on the desk in the room, and pulled out his 9-millimeter....

---

PROGRESS IN WORLD CUP 27 (3-0-5):
MD1: loss to Algal states 3-1, home
MD2: loss to Total n Utter Insanity 2-0, home
MD3: loss to Milchama (friendly) 4-2, home
MD4: win over The Weegies 2-1, away
MD5: win over Risa-Aramour 2-0, home
MD6: win over The New Chakovnia 2-0, away
MD7: loss to Bettia 4-3, away
MD8: loss to Nanakaland 3-2, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: Lowland Clans, TBD (friendly)
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away
Bedistan
13-03-2006, 00:02
Matchday 9 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10568006#post10568006) are now available.
Rejistania
13-03-2006, 00:23
From the Na~ovi National:

Baztards Nearly Win!
The Orange-Blues faced a nearly-defeat in the TeleBaz Stadium in Bazalonia. Our sources from the ASR say the times of the seleken Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile has passed. The Orange-Blues fell behind very early. Jeri Kis was unable to parry the shot of the Bazalonian Irchov Michael. It remains a mystery why the seleken soon-to-be-ex-coach Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile chose this player over the experienced sijidatemen Ehesalakeke Dahajehejili. By pure luck, the Orange-Blues equalized in the 38th minute. The Rianduese Seiru I Hetaki, who is said to negotiate with Hades, equalized the score by a weird combination of lacking concentration of the goalkeeper and a gust of wind. Even "Maniac" Hanselijimijile understood that the performance was not okay and made a substitution at halftime: Xura Kameril came in for a less-than-mediocre Sejil Daki. In the 56th minute
Isi I Mji~l was able to increase the score. If luck would be taxed, the Na~ovi Nanti player would owe the government a small fortune. After this, the Orange-Blues improved slightly in their attempt to keep the Baztards from equalizing. The final score was 2:1 for Rejistania.

OOC: Don't take the National seriously. It contains about as much unbiased truth as the horoscope.
Swilatia
13-03-2006, 00:52
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif
Today Swilatia's National Football Team lost again, this time to the team from Rordia. Why does Swilatia keep either losing or drawing? This all obviously means Swilatia will not qualify for World Cup 27. Even though we thought it will happen, I know that it will not happen. We should just forget all of this now.

How can you be so sure that Swilatia will not qualify? I mean, we did win some matches, and only half of the qualifications have passed. We still have a chance of getting back on the top 3 , as there are still many matches to go. I maen, Only half has passed. and we would have won to Rordia if the goalkeepers items were not seized at the airport.

Well, lets hope this wont happpen tommorow when Swilatia will travel to Bazalonia for their next match. And it is true that Swilatia still has much ahead, as qualification is only one quarter of the whole thing.

WCTracker
Key: Wins Losses Draws Byes
MD1 - Swilatia vs Bazalonia, 1-1, Rank 4
MD2 - Swilatia at Popolus, 3-0, Rank 3
MD3 - Swilatia at Rejistania, 0-4, Rank 5
MD4 - Swilatia vs The Archregimancy, 1-1, Rank 6
MD5 - Bye, Rank 7
MD6 - Swilatia at New Preussen, 2-1, Rank 4
MD7 - Swilatia vs The Footie Dream Team, 2-2, Rank 5
MD8 - Swilatia vs Praying2God, 0-2, Rank 5
MD9 - Swilatia at Rordia, 1-3, Rank 5
MD10 - Swilatia at Bazalonia
Chicanada
13-03-2006, 01:39
Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Home to Kodiak and Snow Leopard News

Ties Help And Hinder
1-All Keeps Chicanada Close, CFA Reafirms Threat

Eastentown - As expected, the CFA refused to let up on the Kodiak National Side, stating that their 1-all tie against Arrida is workable but still not acceptable, continuing to hammer the Do-Or-Die Communique home towards the squad and the nation and killing some minor positive feelings towards the club.

Olani Pjan continues to improve, scoring the equalizer in the 38th minute to keep the Kodiaks within reach of a win. While the second half saw neither team score, the team finally looked more connected and better at the defense and attacks, showing some hints that the team is recovering from The Disaster just in time for catch-breath games against Pedriana and Ocmeoub before the return game against Commerce Heights.

Could the politically motivated CFA announce the Death March of the Kodiaks should 6 points not be secured before the game? Hints suggest yes, since Jaquee is trying to maintain the presidency of the CFS and needs the MSDP to stay in power to do so - and with the population still not feeling the Kodiaks' chances of reaching the second Finals, many think the move could be applauded by the nation (along with the CFA) while allowing clubs to get back their major stars. A stripped-down reserve side against the best of the world? If politics gets in the way, it could happen.

Chicanada heads out on the road to try and get needed points against Pedriana. Canal+ will be showing the game live at 1600 with stadiums opening up at 1575.

Kodiak National Side Schedule (Maybe we can finish 6th! That's a change!)
MD01: W 1-0 v Pedriana (@ Moutainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD02: W 1-0 @ Ocmeoub
MD03: L 1-0 @ Commerce Heights
MD04: off day - plans for training in Kinsington
MD05: L 1-0 v Kelse (@ New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD06: W 2-0 @ Berner Street
MD07: L 2-1 @ Audioslavia
MD08: W 3-0 v Nedalia (@ Depot Centre, Cana)
MD09: T 1-1 v Arrida (@ Heartland Stadium, Goedi)
MD10: @ Pedriana
MD11: v Ocmeoub (@ BFC Pavillion, Bishop County)
MD12: v Commerce Heights (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD13: v Yafor 2 (exibition game @ Steelgrounds, Atens)
MD14: @ Kelse
MD15: v Berner Street (@ Coastal Stadium, New Glasgow)
MD16: v Audioslavia (@ Southampton National Square)
MD17: @ Nedalia
MD18: @ Arrida[/QUOTE]
Sarzonia
13-03-2006, 02:54
FIRST HALF REVIEW

Honours and Awards, World Cup teams

The Sani Luvo Award for Most Goals Scored: Squornshelous (32)
This team has ridden their offense to second place within striking distance of first place Schiavonia for the standard bearer's role in Group 12. While only the group leaders and Kericia have conceded fewer goals than Squornshelous's 11, their defence has kept them from being mentioned among the more dominant teams in the World Cup.

The Ravea Award for Fewest Goals Scored: Three with three (Crna Gora Liv Eng, Magnus Valerius, and Becquerelia).
All three of these teams are either in last place or are close to it. The next fewest goals for a team is four, also shared by three teams, but Haraki's 3-0-5 record suggests they're better than they've shown so far.

The Anti-Karela Award for Most Goals Conceded: Shing-Shang (23).
These guys certainly make their case for worst team in World Cup play, but there are other determining factors to decide which team is truly the worst. They don't quite make the grade in those other categories. (Un)lucky them.

The System Karela Award for Fewest Goals Conceded: Eauz, Starblaydia, and Spaam (2 each).
With goals against averages at 0.25, most observers realise it will be a long day at the office for opposing forwards against these three sides. The only team not leading their group amongst this triumverate are Spaam, who have the misfortune of playing in the same group as the Purple Peril.

The Alan Bellmore Award for Greatest Goal Differential: Sarzonia (plus 26).
Despite playing in what some prognosticators called the Group of Death and in spite of a turmoil-laden World Cup XXVI, the Stars (8-0-0) have arguably been the most dominant team among those fighting for berths in Bedistan or Fmjphoenix.

The Slani Award for Worst Goal Differential: Shing-Shang (minus 19).
They've scored four goals but their 0-2-6 record isn't the worst in the world. That's about the only bright spot for a team that doesn't have much to hang their hats on.

The Aquiliana Award for Best Surprise Team: Kelse (4-2-2, third place Group 9)
Kelse find themselves in playoff position at the halfway point of their first-ever World Cup whilst battling the likes of Audioslavia, our favourite whipping boys Commerce Heights, our friends in Nedalia, Chicanada, and the original Frenchies, Ariddia.

The Commerce Heights Award for Worst Surprise Team: The Kazoo Peoples (3-1-4, fourth place, Group 2).
Their record isn't so much the disappointment. The team were fortunate to advance to the World Cup finals in their first go, where they ran into three buzzsaws, including the then-number one ranked Stars. But the fact they fired Coach Manni Aka, who allegedly committed suicide, does not sit well with Sarzonian media.

Best Team: Sarzonia.
The Stars have shown the kind of focus that led them to their first World Cup trophy five Cups ago, and their first half-closing 5-0 victory over Rorysville resulted in a 8-0-0 mark with the best goal differential in the Cup. Combine that with an experienced head coach and a Cup so far free of controversy, and the Stars look very much like a team to watch for.

Worst Team: The New Chakovnia.
They're 0-0-8. Enough said.

Predictions: We don't make 'em. We laid off our analyst because of the recession and the trained monkey we hired to do the job is dating Sally in Accounting. So yeah.
Spaam
13-03-2006, 03:35
Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


Spaam: Defense Good, Offense Bad

While Spaam's defense seems almost inpenetrable, with no goals scored
against them (and thus increasing their unbeaten streak to five) since their
fourth week bye. However the offense continues to be erratic, with the
visiting East Lithuania preventing Spaam from scoring for the third match this
qualifying. Spaam impressed last week, putting in four goals against an
overall better team, but disappointed by not scoring against a team which
was supposedly the underdog.

The Waffles have failed to win against three of the five lower ranked teams
in this group, and yet have beaten two of the three higher, including an
away win against world seventh, Starblaydia. Though draws will still get
Spaam the points, unless their offense improves, they may find itself just
missing out on a qualifying spot yet again. The Waffles have not qualified for
a World Cup in over a quarter of a century, a sad proposition for a team that
has made it to the finals not once, but twice. Though they are still the
underdogs in qualifying, the fans can only take so much disappointment.

Spaam 0:0 East Lithuania


The Group Of Death

Starblaydia put Priggdom in their place, with a tidy five goal to nil home
whitewash of the upstarts. Oliverry didn't suprise, with a 3-1 win over
Obsidianus, the cellar dwellers getting a consolation goal in the last five
minutes. Wentland were upset again, this time by Haraki, whose form seems
to be returning, the visitors winning two to one. Shing-Shang got final bye
of the first session of qualifying.

Starblaydia 5:0 Priggdom
Oliverry 3:1 Obsidianus
Wentland 1:2 Haraki

With their draw, Spaam slip down to outright third place, which is still one
place better than their seeding. Though an automatic qualification place
seems incredibly unlikely, fans are praying that they will get into the
playoffs. Starblaydia and Oliverry are predictable first and second, while
Wentland is two behind the Waffles in fourth. Haraki has opened up a tidy
five point gap on the two bottom teams, but seems to be just out of reach
of a playoff position, and Shing-Shang is still without a win.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts PPG G%
1 Starblaydia 8 6 1 1 26 2 24 19 2.4 93
2 Oliverry 8 5 2 1 22 10 12 17 2.1 69
3 Spaam 8 4 3 1 11 2 9 15 1.9 85
4 Wentland 8 4 1 3 16 16 0 13 1.6 50
5 Priggdom 8 3 2 3 11 18 -7 11 1.4 38
6 East Lithuania 8 2 4 2 9 9 0 10 1.3 50
7 Haraki 8 3 0 5 4 12 -8 9 1.1 25
8 Obsidianus 8 1 1 6 7 18 -11 4 0.5 28
9 Shing-Shang 8 0 2 6 4 23 -19 2 0.3 15


Next Week

With the halfway mark reached, the reverse fixtures will begin, with the first
match being Shing-Shang hosting Oliverry. Though the number nine seed has
the home advantage and can pull of some suprises, Oliverry won the last
match by five goals, so anything but a win by the number two seeds will be a
miracle. Priggdom host Wentland in what should still be a Wentland
victory, but Priggdom have shown that they can take it to the big guns.
Wentland won 3-1 last time, so analysts predict a 1-2 win this time.

Obsidianus are playing Spaam at home next, and though the Waffles won four
nil last time, current form suggest they home team can pull off a draw, and
Spaam will be hard pressed to win. With any luck though, it will be yet
another nil all draw. Finally, Haraki host East Lithuania, whom they lost to 2-0
last time, and the match could go either way, but East Lithuania are the
favourites. Starblaydia get the week off, and so might temporarily lose their
top position.

Statistics

Home vs Away
P W D L GF GA GD Pts PPG G%
Home 4 3 1 0 9 0 9 10 2.5 100
Away 4 1 2 1 2 2 0 5 1.3 50
Total 8 4 3 1 11 2 9 15 1.9 85

Goal Scorers
No Name G P
1 Ewa Ivey 4 8
17 Mylor Goss 3 8
4 Crewenna Roskelly 2 8
6 Cleder Cawrse 1 5
11 Credan Trethewey 1 8
7 Colan Trebilcock -1 4

History
1 Spaam 4:0 Obsidianus W
2 Shing-Shang 1:1 Spaam D
3 Oliverry 1:0 Spaam L
4 BYE
5 Spaam 1:0 Haraki W
6 Priggdom 0:0 Spaam D
7 Starblaydia 0:1 Spaam W
8 Spaam 4:0 Wentland W
9 Spaam 0:0 East Lithuania D
10 Obsidianus ?:? Spaam ?


Photo Opportunities

The Rock of Spaam: Waffles star keeper Morwetha Jelbert in a promo shoot.

http://images.picturequest.com/common/detail/93/01/22210193.jpg
Becquerelia
13-03-2006, 03:38
(OOC:


The Aquiliana Award for Best Surprise Team: Kelse (4-2-2, third place Group 9)
The Baptism of Fire Cup champions find themselves in playoff position at the halfway point of their first-ever World Cup whilst battling the likes of Audioslavia, our favourite whipping boys Commerce Heights, our friends in Nedalia, Chicanada, and the original Frenchies, Ariddia.

The Baptism Of Fire champions were Allied Anime Worlds, who just scored their first points of the tournament by tying The Belmore Family 0-0. It's just been that kind of tournament for them, alas. Kelse was knocked out of the Baptism of Fire Regional Semifinals, losing 0-1 to Becquerelia. That's the last time my country has won a football game. Go me!

A bit more OOC: Note to Tadjikistan, Zachariah Mendel's been kicked off the team permanently due to a variety of crimes and misdemeanors, as covered in a prior RP. I'll get around to editing my original roster, and I'll just replace Mendel scoring with another midfielder, Michael Silva.

The last OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? Well, wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/tadjikistan2.gif Tadjikistan - (1)__________(1) - Becqureliahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gif


ANOTHER ONE-ONE TIE
Becquerelia Undefeated At Home


Roentgen (JNS) - The number two team in Group 11, Tadjikistan traveled to Roentgen despairing a match-up against a defensive team, and Becquerelia gave them every reason to hate it, earning draw number four in a tough 1-1 game.

Tadjikistan had little trouble breaking through Becquerelia's defense, and scored early on a blistering shot by Daniele Priore, a shot that would be described by Goalkeeper David Deneen as "breathtaking."

"By breathtaking," he would explain, "I mean that it probably would have knocked the wind out of me if I had been in front of it. It was a killer of a shot."

Becquerelia, in contrast, had trouble getting in gear on offense, managing only a couple poorly placed shots on goal."Tadjikistan is one of the best football-playing nations of all the NationStates." said Head Coach Macarius Ransome. "They certainly played like it. But we did tie them. so that's something."

The tie came in the second half on a penalty shot by Midfielder Michael Silva, after he was thrown around by Tadjikistan defender Polozkov. Polozkov was awarded a yellow card, but the crowd felt he deserved much more than that.

"It's a disgrace, in my opinion. Had [Defender Ambrose Wainwright] pulled that stunt, it would have been red cards and suspensions for him." said unhappy Defender Stephen Grohl after the game. While it's possible that this view may have been shared by others on the team, none were willing to publicly defend it, and Grohl was publicly rebucked by Head Coach Ransome when he was informed of the comments. One member of the team, who refused to put his name on the record, would have this to say:

"Stephen's right, and Ransome knows it. In the locker room, he congratulated him for saying what was on everyone's mind. But no one will say this happened, of course."


Becquerelia's Current Results and Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS

MD01: Becquerelia - 0 Pastorville - 2
MD02: Becquerelia - 0 Green wombat - 1
MD03: Emporer Pudu - 0 Becquerelia - 0
MD04: Lovisa - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD05: Becquerelia - 0 Androssa Se Mitrin Vega - 2
MD06: BYE
MD07: Georgeonia - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD08: Tadjikistan - 1 at Becquerelia - 1
MD09: Becquerelia (0-4-3) at Giant Zucchini (2-1-4)
MD10: Pastorville (4-0-3) at Becquerelia (0-4-3)
MD11: Green wombat (2-1-4) at Becquerelia (0-4-3)
MD12: Becquerelia (0-4-3) at Emporer Pudu (1-5-2)
MD13: Becquerelia (0-4-3) at Lovisa (5-2-0)
MD14: Androssa Se Mitrin Vega (4-1-2) at Becquerelia (0-4-3)
MD15: BYE
MD16: Becquerelia (0-4-3) at Georgeonia (1-2-4)
MD17: Becquerelia (0-4-3) at Tadjikistan (4-2-1)
MD18: Giant Zucchini (2-1-4) at Becquerelia (0-4-3)

(OOC Epilouge: The article for the Giant Zucchini game should appear before tomorrow afternoon, I'll say that.)
[NS]Bazalonia
13-03-2006, 04:03
"Two near misses against great team" by Nev Gould

Two matchdays in a row have the Bazalopes gone up against the two best teams in group 6. The Rejistanian Orange blues and now away in the Dreamed realm being hosted by the Monastic Football association. Peter Hobble who seems to be missing not only from the Bazalope team but also just purely missing as it seems he has also disappeard from Elrich foul play has been assumed.

James Kantwell scored in th 86th minute after being denied many times before by the Monastic defense. But he managed to claw up a goal in the dying stages of the match after being 2-0 nil down. This can only be put down to the great work that our new coach has put into the team the different style of coaching.

As to the Dissappearance of Hobble, no leads have arrosen as yet, but the BFP is wanting to get involved in the investigation along-side the Elrich police in finding out exactly what happened. I will reky any information I get on the Soccer World hacking or Peter Hobbles dissappearnace as soon as I get it.

.....

Pretty much the same reaction was in the BFP, Net Crimes building as was with the BFP's Missing Persons Unit...

"WTF?! Why have we not gotten a response!"...
Haraki
13-03-2006, 04:25
The Hawks got off the plane to Wentland downcast. They were coming off a string of two shutout losses, one an embarassing 3-0 defeat at the hands of unexpected high-class team Priggdom. The second had been a better 2-0 home game against the group champions, Starblaydia. But still, it was two losses coming on top of two losses just before the bye. One a four-game losing streak, the Hawks were definitely not on the top of their game going into the beginning of it. Especially against Wentland, ranked third in the group in the beginning, the Hawks were not looking forward to another loss, especially one at the opposing team's home stadium.

They entered the field to a very small amount of cheering. Only a few die-hard fans had travelled to see the Hawks play Wentland. Most people were not eagre to watch their team lose once more. In fact, the Hawks were on such a losing streak that they had become the butt of many bad jokes back in Haraki.

Vargas had been shouting at them before the game. Usually resigning to allowing them to make their own decisions and not lower their self-esteem too much, he was angry today. He was more dedicated to victory than anyone else on the field. He shouted at them to play as aggressively as possible, and bring home a much-needed victory to turn the team's fate around. With five losses behind them, it may have been too much for him to hope for a qualifying spot. But at least they could lose with dignity.

The Hawks were as aggressive as they had been long ago when they had dominated the field in so many games in a row during the Baptism of Fire and then the beginning of qualifying. The first half was a blur. Mike Zendar was on fire, making four shots in the first thirty minutes. But Haraki's real opportunity came from Manuel Cortes, the fast and angry midfield who had become an unexpected jewel in the rough. He received a pass from star supporter Thomas Neils at twenty-five minutes, running for the goal line like a man on fire. He spun around Benny Jones, and was left with a wide open shot at the net, with defenders Okey and Harris sprinting as fast as they could towards him from either side. But he kept on going straight towards them, kicking a superb shot that keeper Francis Derrington simply couldn't get his hands on. Haraki were up 1-0, scoring their first goal in five qualifying games. The small group of Haraki supporters were on their feet in seconds, screaming until their lungs turned blue and they were red in the face.

The first half carried on with Harakian aggressiveness and offensive superiority, with their seven forwards and midfields bringing the driving Haraki offence that had been missing for so long back to the game. Haraki's second goal came when Samuel Sharp took a shot from the left corner of the crease. Derrington redeemed himself for the first goal by catching it and throwing it out to Gus Jenkins. However, Jenkins didn't see the ball coming, and Haraki star player Mike Zendar was there to steal the ball as it came swooping down towards Jenkins. Spinning around, he watched Zendar sprinting for the goal. He made his fifth and final shot on net for the first half and the ball sailed past Derrington, giving Haraki a much-needed two point lead.

The half ended and Vargas had very little to say to his team, except for congratulations and apologies for ever doubting them. They took the field again, only imaging what the Wentland coach could have said to the players. They looked mean and ready to kill.

The Hawks played a mostly defensive game the second half, with few shots although they retained posession for quite a bit of time. The Swifts tried their best to even up the score, but for the entire second half nothing could get past Haraki keeper Mark Stone. Until only ten minutes remained, it looked as if it would be a triumphant Harakian shutout and return to glory. Even when Cosmo Kent scored his goal past Mark Stone on the right side of the net, the Harakian fans at home and in the stadium didn't seem to care. Time ran out with a Harakian victory.

The Hawks, victorious, were out of Wentland by that evening and back to Atherlon, where they were practising the next day for their next match, a Matchday Ten home game against East Lithuania. The last time they played, at East Lithuania, the Hawks were bested 2-0 in their first loss and one definitely favouring the home team. The Hawks were only hoping to turn that home advantage against the Lithuanians for their second game. It was, to be sure, a much-awaited rematch.

Haraki 2 - Wentland 1

Cortes (25)
Zendar (38)
(80) Kent
Atheistic Right
13-03-2006, 05:02
<The ARFA Sports logo and theme music come onto the television screen, yes it's time for every Atheisitic Righti's favourite sports news Show>

<The Darkened studdio gets lightened once again revealing Charles and Darwin>

"Welcome to this edition of ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around. I'm Charles" - Charles

"And I'm Darwin, welcome to the coverage of Matchday number 8 against those holy wacko's New Montreal States. How did the Archeopteri handle the pressure against NMS?" - Darwin

"Not well, Darwin, not well at all. New Monstreal States managed to get three goals, compared to our 1. But let's have a look at that goal. It was in thee 69th minute. Let's look at the Video" - Charles

Leopard intercepted a pass from NMS, he passed it up to Jackal that hit the ball with so much ferocity that the ball, while being directly to the keeper, was done with somer much force that the Goalkeeper could not keep Blanace falling over with the ball falling out of their hands and rolling back into the goal mouth.

"What a strike by Jackal there... So do you have any reason why New Monstreal States scored 3 goals in total?" - Darwin

"The answer is a Christian conspiracy, they killed Cricket, because they where scared and now they bribed the referee's." - Charles

"Unfortunately there is no evidence of this, thoswe sneaky Fundamentalists obviously cleaned up very well but we will face them done and beat them like the dogs they are." - Darwin

"I could not agree more, but here is where we are going to have to leave it for now. I'm Charles." - Charles

"And I am Darwin, Remember ARFA Sports, Your Strongest Sports News Around." - Darwin
Dorian and Sonya
13-03-2006, 05:56
Unicorns No Match for Powerful Eauz

Queen Sonya looked out over the stadium as the Mystical Unicorns prepared to match up against Eauz, their toughest opponent thus far. She had not let the squad know that they would probably not have much luck in this one.

The match began, and the Queen’s fears were realized. For 90 minutes the squad from Eauz dominated the pitch. The Unicorns tried, and failed miserably, to mount any sort of attack. The same thing can be said of the Unicorn defense that seemed awestruck at the task of trying to stop Eauz. This match was over before it began as the Unicorns surrendered 5 goals without even a decent attempt of their own.

The upside to the match for the young squad from Dorian and Sonya was that they got to see a real Championship side in up close and personal action. Perhaps they learned something from the experience.

Next up for the Mystical Unicorns - the Warriors of Milchama. This time at home. In the first meeting, D&S surprised WC27 by pulling off the unlikely draw. Expect the Unicorns to remember that and press forward for at least another point. The problem is that Milchama will also remember MD1 and be looking to prove to the football world that the first meeting was no more than a fluke.

Group 3 First-half Recap.

Eauz sits in first place in the group with a massive 21 points already accumulated thus far. With only 1 defeat, they look very much the side to beat.

Vilita is currently in a very comfortable second place right now with a lead of 9 points over 3rd. The Vilitans only loss came to our very own Unicorns. That is the feather in the cap of our young squad thus far.

3rd through 9th positions are very, very tight. With only 3 points separating all the squads. This should prove to produce a very exciting race to gain that coveted 3rd place and the chance it gives to qualify. Milchama and Elrich should have the advantage, but as you all know, anything can happen.
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
13-03-2006, 05:57
Sea Dragons Victorious In Defensive Battle

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network

MD9 saw the Sea Dragons remain at home to face Pastorville in a key match up for Group 11. Everyone familiar with the two sides knew that it would be a very tough defensive battle. And that is just what the fans were treated to.

For 90 minutes the squads beat each other to pure and utter exhaustion. Micah Swift dealt out his normal share of punishment, but the surprise for ASMV was Kirelenko retreating from the midfield to make his mark on the Pastorville attackers as well. The first half came to an end with neither side making a decent attempt on goal.

In the second half it was the Banta-N’bai duo that ruled their part of the pitch. But the Pastorville defense also held their ground, refusing to yield anything to the Sea Dragon offense. On good attempt on goal from each side came in the second half. ASMV’s Porche Alexander put her shot off the post and out in a failed attempt, while a brilliant save from Shaun Conarky ended the Pastorville assault.

It was the 3 ½ minutes of stoppage time that made the difference. 3 minutes in, Kirelenko stole the ball from Pastorville and moved it ahead to Evan Evans. No opening presented itself and the pass went out wide to Pablo Iglesias. That’s when it happened. Unami Banta-N’bai left his defensive position and came streaking down the field. Pastorville was so surprised at the move that no one moved to cut him off. A quick pass found Banta-N’bai alone against the Pastorville keeper. A fake to the left and shot moving to the right was enough to gain a goal and end the match 1-0 in favor of the Sea Dragons. This goal marked Unami’s second goal ever in international play.

Group11 Recap

Lovisa continues to set the pace for the group with 20 points. With a +19 goal differential, they look to be one of the top sides in the entire qualifying tourney.

Our Sea Dragons have been the surprise, as they now have sole possession of second place in the group with 16 points..Goal differential is the only downside to their performance. But that only serves to enhance the defensive efforts of the squad.

Unexpected draws against lesser opponents have tadjikistan down in 3rd place. Probably the most dangerous of any side in 3rd in any group. Do not expect them to stay there for long.

Pastorville leads the duo Giant Zucchini and the surprising Emperor Pudu by 4 points. The latter 2 will have to move fast if they do not want to lose sight of the group leaders.

Green Wombat has struggled as of late and is just ahead of Georeonia and Bequeleria for last place in the group.

The Sea Dragons must now travel to Green Wombat, a side they defeated on MD1. All expectations are for a victory in this one. But the Wombats will be looking to regain some form and pull the upset.
Qazox
13-03-2006, 06:18
QAZOX CITY HERALD

Qazox finished the first half of WC 27 qualifing with a 2-2 draw at Vilita today, moving the Black Oxen into 3rd place in the group based on goal differential. Being in this position at the halfway point is better than what most projections had Qazox, but the job is only half finished.

The match began roughly for the Black Oxen as star forward Maria Gretsky was injured by Vilita's midfielder in the 20th minute. It is expected that Ms. Gretsky will miss at least tommorrow's match vs. Elrich. the rest of the team rallied around the injury and in the 24th minute, Francis Alouette scored to make it 1-nil. Vilita answered 7 minutes late to tie it at 1-all. the 2 squads went back and forth for the rest of the half, but a late goal by Vilita made it 2-1.

In the second half, Coach Frank Fuller made drastic changes moving from the traditional 3-3-4 formation to a 4-1-5, with Jim 'the Real' McCoy coming in on defence and Shaun Brady and Dylan Greene moving to forwards. this confused Vitila and only 40 seconds into the 2nd half, Aero Smith scored his 1st intenational goal squaring the match. The Vilitan offense could not sustain any offensive attacks, but their Keeper was determined to keep Qazox from the big upset.

Qazox comes home tommorow, trying to avenge a 3-nil loss to Elrich with the match being held at Rockport Field in Rockport. Kickoff is scheduled for 6:00 pm.
Qazox's Qualifing Schedule

Match Day One--@ Elrich LOST 0-3
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran LOST 0-1 at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Attendence: 17,000
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya WON 2-0 at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Attendence: 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendence: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama WON 4-2
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung LOST 0-1 at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Attendance: 42,000.
Match Day Seven--Exhibition vs. Graverville(QFL Champion) WON 5-0 at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Attendence: 79,250.
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette WON 2-1
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita Draw 2-2
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.

GROUP THREE Match Day 9 scores and standings:
Eauz 5-0 Dorian and Sonya
Vilita 2-2 Qazox
Milchama 1-3 Hiiraan
Elrich 0-4 Tanah Burung


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Eauz 8 7 0 1 28 2 26 21
2 Vilita 8 6 1 1 20 6 14 19
3 Qazox 8 3 1 4 10 11 -1 10
4 Milchama 8 3 1 4 12 18 -6 10
5 Elrich 8 3 1 4 10 17 -7 10
6 Tanah Burung 8 3 0 5 10 13 -3 9
7 Hiiraan 8 2 3 3 6 9 -3 9
8 Dorian and Sonya 8 2 2 4 7 17 -10 8
9 Valertinette 8 2 1 5 4 14 -10 7
Green wombat
13-03-2006, 06:37
GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS
Humble Pie now 4/$5.00

So much for expectations, as Green wombat has now lost 4 of iits last 5 matches and now sits 8 points away from 3rd place in the group. The lastest mismangement by Vice Admiral Ford was today's 4-0 loss to group leader Lovisa. Since V.Adm. Ford has banned all press from the away matches now, there is no way for us to report who scored the goals for Lovisa, but granted, Pvt Ryan is not helping matters. reports say that Private ryan will be on the bench for the next game vs. ASMV, who currently sit 2nd in the group, and maybe benched for the rest of qualifing, With now 2 keeps in the doghouse its up to Corpral Holmes, who has only played 4 minutes in qualifing.
the 2nd half prospects do not look good as 4 of the 1st 6 matches are on the road and with a (0-1-3) record on the road so far, Green wombat will probably be eliminated before its last 2 home games.
Praying2God
13-03-2006, 06:40
WARRIORS STRUGGLE, BUT WIN ANYWAY

The Praying2God Warriors clearly did not play up to the level they are capable of in their match against New Preussen, but still managed to come away with a 2-1 win to end the first half of qualifying for WC XXVII. Christine Holly tied the match at 1-1 in the 38th minute, when her sister, Kylie, dropped a pass back to her and she lofted in just over the crowd and past the obstructed keeper. Brittany Law provided the winner in the 61st minute, as Thomas Larson played a ball back to her at the top of the box and she sent the ball firmly into the bottom left corner of the net. The victory didn't impress Head Coach Paul Johnson, who was heard chewing out his team in the locker room after the match, and refused to let reporters talk to any of the players. The Warriors retained 3rd place in their group, but have a lot of work left to do before they can feel remotely comfortable with their chances.


GROUP 6 HALFWAY REVIEW

The top three seeds in Group 6 have proved to be the teams to beat, as they are (at least) three points clear of the rest of the group. Who has to go to the play-off for a spot may come down to who slips up the least against the bottom teams, and how good of a job of damage control they can do. Rejistania is still the favorite to win the group, though both The Archregimancy and the Warriors still have decent chances to win the group.

In the rest of the group, only Rordia appears to have the potential to make a run at the top three, but they're going to need a lot of help to do it. Bazalonia being tied for last with five points, despite only being -2 in GD has to be a bit frustrating. They could potentially have a big impact on who finishes where in the second half of qualifying.

All things said, the biggest question in Group 6 appears to be which of the top three will have to play in the play-off for their spot in Bedistan and Fmjphoenix.
Wentland
13-03-2006, 06:42
Another day, another defeat. Again the Swifts could not get going from the start of the game. Again the concern for Bluff was preying on their minds. Plus the threat of an investigation into their game at Oliverry...what seemed to have been an unexpected triumphw as turning into a millstone.

Haraki had barely been in the recent games but given the problems in Wentland they could not have wished for a better time to play. Had it been the imperious Wentland of the first quarter it would have been easy. But the team, mentally shattered, was simply not up for it.

Only for the latter part of the game, with the Hawks resting on their laurels, did Wentland look anything like the dangerous outfit that had started the World Cup on a tear. The experiment with Barnes and Treves up front had not worked. Smith and Treves were working better together. And both Will James and Don Fletcher suffered injuries early on in the game, limiting options further.

And so to Priggdom. They were coming off a nap hand thrashing. The gap to a play-off place was now 2 points and goal difference was not helping. This was the sort of game Wentland needed to win if qualification was to be on. An automatic spot seemed out of reach already, 4 points being tough to make up without a winning streak. But the Prigs seemed to be a mercurial outfit, winning unexpected games, occasionally going berserk in defence.

***

Bluff was still under observation in hospital so Baldy Brissen took the squad to Priggdom. He was starting with the team that finished the Haraki game, with Okey and Harris back for the Fletchers and Smith for Barnes.

John Capper had had another message from the Constellations. Priggdom was an unknown territory. But he was confident he would get something there.

Indeed, it did not take him too long. As soon as the team arrived they were accosted by the Priggdom official representative, who offered the team small souvenirs of their country. Not too large, no suggestion of bribery, but tokens of appreciation. And one of them was a small model of Crown Rock, a local landmark.

Easy, thought Capper. Too easy?

***

The Head of the Wentland FA was puzzling over a letter he had received.

Emergency World Cup Committee
World Cup House, Eagle Street, Vanguard, Fmjphoenix V1 1AL
Direct line: +00 445 1 250 0000
Direct fax: +00 445 1 250 0100

Dear Sir

Oliverry v Wentland World Cup 27 qualifier (“the Qualifier”)

Thank you for your letter of 27th inst.

I am quite puzzled by the letter. We have checked our records and can find no record of such a missive having been sent.

Indeed, the Oliverrian association has not made any protest about the Qualifier. We did notice that some intemperate comments were made but nothing was ever put before the Committee in writing.

Having seen the match on the televisual broadcast device, I came to the conclusion that the match officials had made the correct decision as the replays demonstrated that there was a pull on a Wentland player’s shirt.

I am afraid that the letter appears to have been some sort of hoax. The tone of address does not seem to be that which I normally approve.

I can only sympathize with the plight in which your country finds itself and wish you the best for future qualifying, within the laws of the game of course.

Yours faithfully

Prince Phoenix
Honorary Head of Emergency World Cup Committee

The Head could have kicked himself. The obvious point was there in the original letter. “Dear Sir” would not have finished with “Yours SINCERELY”…His Highness would not have made such a childish error as that…

But who would have done such a thing?
Becquerelia
13-03-2006, 06:47
(OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? Well, wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)


And we turn back around to see what's behind us:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gifBecqurelia - (0)__________(0) - Giant Zucchinihttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/giantzucchini.gif


BECQUERELIA SCORES POINT ON ROAD
Fifth Tie, Fifth Scoreless Game


Marauding, GZ(JNS) -In a first for Becquerelia in the World Cup, the National Team didn't lose their game on the road.

"I think we're getting the hang of the 'traveling to other countries and playing them' part." was how Head Coach Macarius Ransome put it. He then added that "...'scoring goals,' that we're working on. Scoring goals and 'winning'. Those two will have to be covered in our next practices."

Both Goalkeepers in this match-up, David Deneen for Becquerelia and Hendrik Groot for Green Zucchini proved that they are some of the best in the world, and cleanly stopped all shots that came their way.

"We saw how good Groot was, not only from tape of the World Cup, but from some of his domestic matches with Deutsch SV. And he's only twenty-four! Wow. I'd hate to be stuck in a group with Giant Zucchini in the next World Cup." said Forward Peter Constantine, who saw four of his shots snatched out of the air by the Giant Zucchini phenom.

The Becquerelian defense noticibly picked up their play a notch, marking the first time they allowed a home team to score on their home field.

"We're maturing," is how Defender Keyne Hawkins described it. "We're just starting to put our toes in the water of international competition, and the level of competition is definitly a bit sharper than in the Baptism of Fire. It makes sense that our play wouldn't be competly up to par with the Fmjphoenixes, the Starblaydias, the Nedalias of the world. But the more we play, the better we'll get, and the better results we'll get as well."


Becquerelia's Current Results and Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS

MD01: Becquerelia - 0 Pastorville - 2
MD02: Becquerelia - 0 Green wombat - 1
MD03: Emporer Pudu - 0 Becquerelia - 0
MD04: Lovisa - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD05: Becquerelia - 0 Androssa Se Mitrin Vega - 2
MD06: BYE
MD07: Georgeonia - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD08: Tadjikstan - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD09: Becquerelia - 0 Giant Zucchini - 0
MD10: Pastorville (4-0-4) at Becquerelia (0-5-3)
MD11: Green wombat (2-1-5) at Becquerelia (0-5-3)
MD12: Becquerelia (0-5-3) at Emporer Pudu (1-5-2)
MD13: Becquerelia (0-5-3) at Lovisa (6-2-0)
MD14: Androssa Se Mitrin Vega (5-1-2) at Becquerelia (0-5-3)
MD15: BYE
MD16: Becquerelia (0-5-3) at Georgeonia (1-3-4)
MD17: Becquerelia (0-5-3) at Tadjikstan (4-3-1)
MD18: Giant Zucchini (2-2-4) at Becquerelia (0-5-3)
Praying2God
13-03-2006, 07:22
HALFWAY AWARDS

The Owl Award (team with the best idea of what they're doing): Sarzonia

Can you say "team on a mission"? Having lost the #1 ranking, Sarzonia has convincingly gone 8-0-0 in the first half of qualifying and appears to be one of the teams to beat at this point.

The Goofy Award (team that appears to be clueless): Druida

Did somebody forget to tell them that they're the 46th best team in the world? They certainly haven't played like it so far. Having earned only six points in the first half of qualifying, Druida is in serious danger of failing to qualify in their return to WC action, after missing WC XXVI.

The System Karela Award (the team that has the lowest combined GF+GA, and having little success and several draws in the process): Becquerelia

The co-leader for most draws at the halfway point has a very System Karela-like 3 GF and 8 GA. The next lowest total belongs to Pastorville, which plays in the same group, but doesn't have a draw at halfway. So, the selection for this award was quite easy.

The System Takil Award (the team with the highest combined GF+GA): Squornshelous

If you attend a Squornshelous match, you can expect to see some goals scored. Squornshelous and their opponents have averaged a combined total of 5.375 goals per match. The decent, but not spectacular defense, has Squornshelous in 2nd place in Group 12 at the halfway point of qualifying.

Most Competitive Group: Group 7

With seven of the nine teams at double-figures in points, and with a five-way battle for the third qualifying position, Group 7 has been the toughest group so far.

Cut and Dry Group: Group 2

Bettia, Total n Utter Insanity, and Nanakaland can book their tickets to the next round already. None of the other five teams in the group with points is within remote striking distance.

Most Disappointing Team (Druida exempted for already having received an award): The Weegies

It was widely believed that The Weegies were going to put up a far better effort towards qualifying than they have. Effectively eliminated at the halfway point, sitting in 7th place, 10 points out of the last qualifying position. The Weegies have cut some serious cheesies so far in WC XXVII qualifying.

Most Surprising Team: Kelse

Kelse has come out of nowhere to hold down a qualifying position at the halfway point, much like the Warriors did back in WC XX. However, I'm sure you all remember the Warriors 2nd half collapse, as they couldn't find the net and beat a hasty retreat, licking their wounds. The same fate could await Kelse, with Chicanada, Nedalia, and Ariddia licking their chops right behind them.

The Where in the World Did That Score Come From Award (the most unlikely match result): Praying2God (ranked 28th) 6, The Archregimancy (ranked 33rd) 1

The Warriors had lost consecutive matches at home coming in to this match. Losing by one goal to Rejistania in their previous match may not have been a disgrace, but getting upset by 201st ranked Popolus was an utter embarassment, regardless of the fact that the Warriors had a team of 6-year-olds playing in a match refereed by a South Osettian. So, the Warriors had no momentum coming into the match, but a Lenten controversy meant that The Archregimancy only fielded nine players, and the Warriors were relentless in capitalizing on the opportunity, and pulled off the largest win in Warriors history.
Becquerelia
13-03-2006, 07:39
(OOC: Wondering about Becquerelia's roster, uniforms, home stadium, or whatever? Well, wonder no more, and head to Becquerelia's roster post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=63).)


And we turn back around to see what's ahead:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/pastorville.gif Pastorville____at____Becqureliahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gif


BECQUERELIA TO FACE OFF WITH PASTORVILLE AT HOME
Last Match-Up Was A 2-0 Victory For Pastorville


Roentgen (JNS) - The last time these two teams met, Becquerelia was but a wide-eyed rookie to the world of international soccer. Buoyed by success in the Baptism of Fire, and full of hope, the National Team traveled to Pastorville and hope to continue their success on a international stage.

The game, obviously, didn't work out the way Becquerelia had hoped.

Today, Becquerelia is 0-5-3, last place in their group, but earning praise the world over for their hard work and stiff defense. Pastorville has been fairly anonymous in the tournament, but has quietly and without boast worked their way into striking distance for a play-off spot with their 4-0-4 record.

The match this time around is in Becquerelia's Phaeton Stadium. While some local wags have begun to call the stadium "Where Good Teams Go To Tie," Becquerelia's hoping to break the trend with a victory. A victory by the home team.

"We're not making predictions." Assistant Coach John Meurer is quick to make this distinction, insisting that "...we just really want to get that first win very soon. And doing at home would be great. But we're not predicting a win against Pastorville."

When asked if he was willing to predict anything about the game, Meurer clammed up and turned questioning over to his fellow Assistant Coach Alexander Helmcamp.

"One thing is clear, and it's that Pastorville is a inconsistant team. A good team, but inconsistant. They're dangerous, but streaky, and they've been all over the place."

He continued, "If we can dictate the pace of the game, I think we can win this one. We haven't been too good at controlling football games, so we tend to be at other team's mercies. But our defense is shoring up, and I think we'll be able to bottle up their really good player, Davis."

When informed that Pastorville had no player named Davis, Helmcamp insisted that the mistake was "...a slip of the tounge. I meant Smith... or Lake?... or was it... their good one. We'll try and stop their good player on offense."
Squornshelous
13-03-2006, 08:05
An Avalanche of Goals

Squornshelous is on top of the scoring department halfway through
The Pschychoes continued their flawless home record in front of another sell out crowd at Vogsphere Arena, where Squornshelous has outscored their opponents 17-1 in four matches. Our opponent, Spaamanian Plijous, was totally unable to pull anything together, and spent most of the match attempting to fend of the relentless attack put on by the Pschychoes. Mostafa Ogbadan had a rather quiet day by his standards, scoring only one goal, to bring his total to 14. However, the rest of the Squornshelan attack, which has often been in Ogbadan's shadow found a moment or two to shine. The Pschychoes passing in this match was impeccable, as they picked apart the defense, threading their way through to the goal with ease. The scoring was opened on a breakaway by Vasili Petrov, where he received a pass through the defense and was able to chip the keeper for the goal. Ogbadan's goal came next, when he leaped up and met a corner kick to send it behind the keeper into the back corner of the net. Before then, the math had been moving at a fairly normal pace, but in the 10 minutes remaining before the half, 7 shots on goal were fired by the Pschychoes, and just before the whistle, Goran Syvatov put on in off of the rebound of a free kick by Kryztoff Markanen. The second half opened up a little more relaxed by the Pschychoes, but that didn't stop them from puncng on opportunities when the Spaamanians presented them. Iannis Xenakis neatly intercepted a pass on the opposing side at 62 minutes and shot through a gap in the defence. He fired from the top of the box, scoring easily in the far corner. The final goal came from Kryztoff Marakanen. Again, he was called upon to take a free kick, however, his initial kick did not reach the keeper, but was deflected back to him by the wall formed by the defenders. With the keeper far out of position and leaning the wrong way, Markanen made the easy shot into the net.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 5-0 Spaamanian Plijous

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws byes
MD01: bye
MD02: The Islands of Qutar 1-3 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 5-1 The Macabees
MD04: Jon Parkin 4-4 Squornshelous
MD05: Squornshelous 5-0 San Adriano
MD06: Schiavonia 4-2 Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous 2-0 Kericia
MD08: Apologetic Kittens 1-6 Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous 5-0 Spaamanian Plijous
MD10: bye
MD11: Squornshelous v The Islands of Qutar
MD12: The Macabees v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Jon Parkin
MD14: San Adriano v Squornshelous
MD15: Squornshelous v Schiavonia
MD16: Kericia v Squornshelous
MD17: Squornshelous v Apologetic Kittens
MD18: Spaamanian Plijous v Squornshelous
Allied Anime Worlds
13-03-2006, 08:34
The following is an excerpt from Chronicles of the Federation

Curse of the Federation Midfield Still Holds True

We have good news and bad news. The good news is that the Federation team is finally on the board. The bad news is that it's way too little and way too late.

Twenty-three points out of first and halfway through the tournament, it seems that the only thing left to the team is to try and drag ourseleves out of the cellar to make a respectable finish. The Silver Pandas' abysmal performance has caused some to despair, some to cling to what some deride as false hope, and still others to stop caring at all.

"I don't know, maybe that crazy Placid Lun girl wasn't so crazy after all," commented one of the few fans still tenacious enough to watch after seeing defeat after defeat. "Maybe we'd need to get Endymion back on the team to do any good. Too bad he's busy with matters of state. But a fan can dream, can't he?"

Placid Lun had some commentary as well. "I just don't care anymore," the seventeen year old high priestess sniffed. "Football used to be a source of pride for us citizens of the Federation of Allied Anime Worlds, but now it's a source of constant shame and disappointment. I must minister to the faithful, and advise them to turn their attentions to something we can be proud of, like Information Technology."

"We've GOT to have a strong second half of the tourney, we've just GOT to!" a fan said from Crossroads Junior high, almost as if pleading. "Someone in our football club heard that there's a curse on our midfielders. I'm pretty good a dispelling, maybe I should try and help?"

But this starry eyed teen isn't the only one taking the possibility of a genuine curse seriously. Here's what head coach Chio Miyahama had to say.

"We performed a thorough magical examination of all of our players, especially our midfielders," Chio said. "It may sound like we're looking for excuses, but we're not. Even if we do find evidence of malevolent enchantment, we do not intend to petition for a rematch of any games. Not that we'd expect such a petition to be taken seriously in the first place."

But what about the team's training?

"We're holding extended training sessions daily," Chio responded. "And we're examining the footage from all of our Baptism of Fire games and comparing them to our games here. So far, it seems like we didn't need to rely on our midfielders as much because our forwards ran back to the midfield much more. We'll try pushing for forwards back more so that our fullbacks can pass directly to the forwards."

But what about the team's morale?

"There's been perfect attendance at all of the practices and film sessions. This team has resigned themselves to the fact that they're not going to win, but that exuberance has been replaced with a hardened determination to save the Federation's dignity and place respectably."

But all is not as well as Colonel Miyahama would have us believe. We caught up with Secretary of Defense and starting forward Raye Sun, and we were again awarded with an invitation to her residence.

"I'm afraid I can't name names right now because we're in the middle of an ongoing investigation," Raye said as she handed our reporter a cup of tea. "But I really to believe that there may be a saboteur on our team. We've ruled out standing magical interference, but that's not the only way to interfere with our players. If there's anything going wrong here besides simple team collapse, we'll find it."

We were astonished to see Raye withhold her theory about who, if anyone, is sabotaging the team. This leads us to believe that Raye does not have a theory at all, and is simply hoping to find something, anything wrong with our team that that it simply lost whatever it had just a few months ago.
Spaam
13-03-2006, 10:00
Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


Halfway Performances Released

Gp Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts GP %
4 1 Sarzonia 8 8 0 0 30 4 26 24 88.2
7 1 Liverpool England 8 8 0 0 28 6 22 24 82.4
9 1 Audioslavia 8 8 0 0 17 6 11 24 73.9
2 1 Bettia 8 7 1 0 27 10 17 22 73.0
10 1 Hockey Canada 8 7 1 0 17 6 11 22 73.9
12 1 Schiavonia 8 7 1 0 17 6 11 22 73.9
3 1 Eauz 8 7 0 1 28 2 26 21 93.3
2 2 Total n Utter Insanity 8 7 0 1 22 4 18 21 84.6
11 1 Lovisa 8 6 2 0 22 3 19 20 88.0
1 1 Jeruselem 8 6 2 0 23 5 18 20 82.1

8 1 Starblaydia 8 6 1 1 26 2 24 19 92.9
12 2 Squornshelous 8 6 1 1 32 11 21 19 74.4
10 2 Casari 8 6 1 1 20 5 15 19 80.0
3 2 Vilita 8 6 1 1 20 6 14 19 76.9
6 1 Rejistania 8 6 1 1 17 4 13 19 81.0
7 2 Turori 8 6 1 1 18 8 10 19 69.2
1 2 New Montreal States 8 6 0 2 17 8 9 18 68.0
5 1 Spruitland 8 5 3 0 20 12 8 18 62.5
2 3 Nanakaland 8 6 0 2 14 12 2 18 53.8
8 2 Oliverry 8 5 2 1 22 10 12 17 68.8

4 2 Krytenia 8 5 2 1 19 8 11 17 70.4
6 2 The Archregimancy 8 5 2 1 20 11 9 17 64.5
5 2 Crystilakere 8 5 1 2 18 7 11 16 72.0
6 3 Praying2God 8 5 1 2 18 9 9 16 66.7
9 2 Commerce Heights 8 5 1 2 15 6 9 16 71.4
5 3 Anathematic Republics 8 5 1 2 14 10 4 16 58.3
1 3 Cuation 8 5 1 2 12 8 4 16 60.0
11 2 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 8 5 1 2 10 12 -2 16 45.5
11 3 Tadjikistan 8 4 3 1 16 6 10 15 72.7
8 3 Spaam 8 4 3 1 11 2 9 15 84.6

5 4 The Solar Association 8 5 0 3 14 13 1 15 51.9
9 3 Kelse 8 4 2 2 13 9 4 14 59.1
9 4 Chicanada 8 4 1 3 9 5 4 13 64.3
4 3 Lethislavania 8 4 1 3 15 12 3 13 55.6
12 3 Kericia 8 3 4 1 11 8 3 13 57.9
5 5 Cataduanes 8 4 1 3 16 14 2 13 53.3
10 3 Harlesburg 8 4 1 3 9 7 2 13 56.3
8 4 Wentland 8 4 1 3 16 16 0 13 50.0
6 4 Rordia 8 4 1 3 11 11 0 13 50.0
7 3 The Lowland Clans 8 3 3 2 12 12 0 12 50.0

11 4 Pastorville 8 4 0 4 6 6 0 12 50.0
10 4 Majeristan 8 4 0 4 12 13 -1 12 48.0
12 4 The Islands of Qutar 8 3 2 3 15 11 4 11 57.7
4 4 Hypocria 8 3 2 3 10 9 1 11 52.6
5 6 Tonissia 8 3 2 3 16 16 0 11 50.0
7 4 Mr Chuck Norris 8 3 2 3 15 15 0 11 50.0
7 5 TheSuncoastofFlorida 8 3 2 3 9 9 0 11 50.0
9 5 Nedalia 8 3 2 3 14 15 -1 11 48.3
9 6 Ariddia 8 3 2 3 12 13 -1 11 48.0
1 4 Collonie 8 3 2 3 12 13 -1 11 48.0

7 6 Yafor 2 8 3 2 3 12 15 -3 11 44.4
10 5 Imperial Moose 8 3 2 3 9 14 -5 11 39.1
8 5 Priggdom 8 3 2 3 11 18 -7 11 37.9
4 5 Legalese 8 3 1 4 22 19 3 10 53.7
8 6 East Lithuania 8 2 4 2 9 9 0 10 50.0
10 6 Kaze Progressa 8 3 1 4 8 8 0 10 50.0
3 3 Qazox 8 3 1 4 10 11 -1 10 47.6
2 4 The Kazoo Peoples 8 3 1 4 13 15 -2 10 46.4
4 6 Vuam and Isma 8 3 1 4 10 12 -2 10 45.5
7 7 Rolatia 8 3 1 4 14 17 -3 10 45.2

3 4 Milchama 8 3 1 4 12 18 -6 10 40.0
3 5 Elrich 8 3 1 4 10 17 -7 10 37.0
1 5 CR Oscilloscopes 8 3 1 4 5 12 -7 10 29.4
3 6 Tanah Burung 8 3 0 5 10 13 -3 9 43.5
3 7 Hiiraan 8 2 3 3 6 9 -3 9 40.0
6 5 Swilatia 8 2 3 3 10 14 -4 9 41.7
12 5 Jon Parkin 8 2 3 3 17 22 -5 9 43.6
1 6 An Archy 8 2 3 3 7 12 -5 9 36.8
2 5 Algal states 8 3 0 5 11 18 -7 9 37.9
6 6 New Preussen 8 3 0 5 9 16 -7 9 36.0

8 7 Haraki 8 3 0 5 4 12 -8 9 25.0
4 7 Revived Constantinople 8 3 0 5 8 22 -14 9 26.7
11 5 Giant Zucchini 8 2 2 4 11 11 0 8 50.0
2 6 Tynelia 8 2 2 4 7 9 -2 8 43.8
2 7 The Weegies 8 2 2 4 10 13 -3 8 43.5
1 7 Kirstiriera 8 2 2 4 10 14 -4 8 41.7
11 6 Emporer Pudu 8 1 5 2 7 12 -5 8 36.8
3 8 Dorian and Sonya 8 2 2 4 7 17 -10 8 29.2
6 7 Popolus 8 2 2 4 7 17 -10 8 29.2
2 8 Risa-Aramour 8 2 2 4 6 16 -10 8 27.3

10 7 McPsychoville 8 2 1 5 7 11 -4 7 38.9
12 6 The Macabees 8 1 4 3 8 14 -6 7 36.4
11 7 Green wombat 8 2 1 5 7 17 -10 7 29.2
3 9 Valertinette 8 2 1 5 4 14 -10 7 22.2
4 8 Palacetonia 8 2 1 5 8 22 -14 7 26.7
1 8 Druida 8 1 3 4 6 12 -6 6 33.3
11 8 Georgeonia 8 1 3 4 4 11 -7 6 26.7
12 7 San Adriano 8 1 3 4 5 15 -10 6 25.0
6 8 Bazalonia 8 1 2 5 10 12 -2 5 45.5
11 9 Becquerelia 8 0 5 3 3 8 -5 5 27.3

9 7 Berner Street 8 1 2 5 7 14 -7 5 33.3
5 7 UN Peacekeepers 8 1 2 5 5 12 -7 5 29.4
9 8 Pedriana 8 1 2 5 6 14 -8 5 30.0
6 9 The Footie Dream Team 8 1 2 5 6 14 -8 5 30.0
10 8 Crna Gora Liv Eng 8 1 2 5 3 12 -9 5 20.0
12 8 Apologetic Kittens 8 0 5 3 8 17 -9 5 32.0
5 8 Nebuleux 8 1 1 6 9 18 -9 4 33.3
12 9 Spaamanian Plijous 8 1 1 6 6 15 -9 4 28.6
10 9 Magnus Valerius 8 1 1 6 3 12 -9 4 20.0
5 9 Dance 2 Revolution 8 1 1 6 6 16 -10 4 27.3

8 8 Obsidianus 8 1 1 6 7 18 -11 4 28.0
9 9 Ocmeoub 8 1 0 7 5 16 -11 3 23.8
7 8 The Belmore Family 8 1 0 7 9 22 -13 3 29.0
4 9 Rorysville 8 1 0 7 7 21 -14 3 25.0
1 9 Atheistic Right 8 0 2 6 6 14 -8 2 30.0
8 9 Shing-Shang 8 0 2 6 4 23 -19 2 14.8
7 9 Allied Anime Worlds 8 0 1 7 5 18 -13 1 21.7
2 9 The New Chakovnia 8 0 0 8 9 22 -13 0 29.0
The Archregimancy
13-03-2006, 10:23
THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"So.... Fr. John.... It's been an eventful first half of the qualification campaign, hasn't it?"

"I'll say Fr. Nicholas - let's look one of those pointless retrospective montages that seem to blight secular awards ceremonies in ordinary physical reality... We have, in no particular order: Rejistania attempting to sue me for merely reporting what someone else said, and then challenging me to a duel I have no intention of taking part in; Swilatia apologising for their national broadcaster referring to us as 'religious wackos we love to hate'; New Preussen's entire first XI falling through the ice when they attempted to enter the field of footballing battle; Atheistic Right apparently unjustly accusing us and New Montreal States of an Orthodox Christian conspiracy to murder a leading footballing figure of theirs, while also referring to the two Orthodox Nations as 'fundamentalists' - are they sure they haven't confused us with Praying2God or Pastorville? And of course the Lenten controversy that's not only lead to us having to replace the starting XI with Dream Simulacra of the same players on Sundays - and away games against heathens, heretics and atheists - during Lent, but also led to the 6-1 away loss debacle to Praying2God when we could only field 9 players. And that was including Coach Kyrill, Metropolitan of Solovetsky. At least he scored the only goal."

"I thought Lent was supposed to be a season of fasting and quiet contemplation as we prepared ourselves for Pascha, Fr. John."

"Yeah, well, ideally it is, Fr. Nicholas, but somehow we seem to have wound up in our wackiest and busiest qualification campaign ever."

"And what about last night's match against Bazalonia?"

"Ah, well, Fr. Nicholas.... Monastic footballing fans across the Archregimancy have had a soft spot for the Bazalopes ever since the squad asked us for advice in how to deal with werewolves before playing Elrich. Fat lot of good it seems to have done them, unfortunately, and the on-going mystery surrounding their newly-lycanthropic team captain really seems to have, well, you might say... 'hobbled' the team

<both laugh>

But seriously... With all the Lenten fuss surrounding our squad, Bazalonia proved to be a much tougher proposition than we'd been expecting, even with all of our first XI turning up to play. Even Fr. Michael the New Hermit.

Sure we score the first two goals.... this 34th minute exquisite chip from Fr. Silouan delighting those few fans who turned up this Monday, and this 51st minute goalmouth scramble ending with Fr. David the Water Drinker poking the ball home....

But it was by no means one-sided, and this 86th minute goal from James Kantwell was no more than the tenacious Bazalonia deserved. He tortured Fr. Dmitri and Fr. Michael the Greater the entire match, and had Fr. Justinian not been taking a break from his usual habit of painting icons while the ball's in the opposite half, this audacious long-range shot from Kantwell in the 44th minute might have embarrased the lads into even more self-reflection than they've been going through recently. Seems the different approach from Bazalonia's new coach is beginning to make a difference."

"But for all the controversy, all the fuss, all the un-Lenten excitement, don't you think the team should be pleased with the first half of the qualification campaign, Fr. John?"

"Absolutely, Fr. Nicholas. We're in second. The top three, including us, are pulling away from the pack. And - God willing - we'll stay competitive through the second half."

"Unless the Lord decides to reward us with another bout of soul-strengthening suffering this Lenten season, Fr. John..."

"Wouldn't be the first time, Fr. Nicholas. Indeed it wouldn't..."
Ariddia
13-03-2006, 11:19
Ariddia half-way to nowhere?

With the qualifying stages half-over, Ariddia are holding steady in a disappointing sixth place, with a perfectly balanced record of three wins, two draws and three losses. The third place is held by a surprisingly good Kelsan side, but with Kelse only three points ahead of the red-and-black team, anything could still happen.

“Between the third and the sixth place, things can still move around quite a lot,” Seul predicted. “No team can be written out just yet. But there are going to be four of us competing for that third spot, so the odds aren’t good for anyone.”

For their last match in the first half, the Rouge-et-Noirs travelled to the land of one of those three competitors, Chicanada. An ever-energetic Hanifah Kyaw scored the opening goal in the seventeenth minute, for a lead which, supporters hoped, would give Ariddia an edge and lift the country out of its lowly sixth place. Unfortunately, as the team continued, unsuccessfully, to focus on attack, Olani Pjan provided the equaliser for Chicanada in the thirty-eighth minute, leaving both sides with just one point gained from the encounter.

“A draw doesn’t really benefit either of us,” Clément said later. “Although for all we know that one point may prove vital. Still, we can’t be satisfied with results like this. Teams like Audioslavia can afford the occasional draw. We’re still a long way off from such luxuries.”
Cataduanes
13-03-2006, 13:19
ISLANDERS Prevail

In a hard fought match which can be characterised by its scrappiness and plethora of missed chances for both sides,6 yellow cards were guiven out in total with Souletano, Tumitubo and Corino being booked for the islanders and Forescos, Iijja and Maeda for Dance2rev. The stalement was broken in the 80th minute by a brilliant 35 yard run by Ruedas who having beaten Nibat and left the left-back Seriiseiineii on his back slotted a low shoot past Mitnav to score the only cool of the match. The win leaves the 'Seleccion' in 5th place but one of the top two slots are within catching distance should Cataduanes continue to notch up wins. Cataduanes are away to Nebeleux for matchday ten and will no doubt try to frustrate there opponents.


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Spruitland 8 5 3 0 20 12 8 18
2 Crystilakere 8 5 1 2 18 7 11 16
3 Anathematic Republics 8 5 1 2 14 10 4 16
4 The Solar Association 8 5 0 3 14 13 1 15
5 Cataduanes 8 4 1 3 16 14 2 13
6 Tonissia 8 3 2 3 16 16 0 11
7 UN Peacekeepers 8 1 2 5 5 12 -7 5
8 Nebuleux 8 1 1 6 9 18 -9 4
9 Dance 2 Revolution 8 1 1 6 6 16 -10 4


Cataduanes results so far.
MATCHDAY 1: Cataduanes 5(Guarin 32, 42, 66 & Macalinao 51, 78)-1 Nebuleux
MATCHDAY 2: Cataduanes 2(Souletano 32, Corino 54)-4 Crystilakere
MATCHDAY 4: Anathematic Republics 3-1 Cataduanes(Guarin 25)MATCHDAY 5: Cataduanes 2(Guarin 31, 90)-3 The Solar Assoc.
MATCHDAY 6: UN Peacekeepers 0-1 Cataduanes(Guarin 78)
MATCHDAY 7: Spruitland 2-2 Cataduanes(Guarin 45, 88)
MATCHDAY 8: Tonissia 1-2 Cataduanes(Souletano 2 & Guarin 78)
MATCHDAY 9: Cataduanes 1(Ruedas 80)-0 Dance 2 Revolution
Georgeonia
13-03-2006, 15:58
GROUP ELEVEN
Tadjikistan 1-1 Georgeonia
Lovisa 4-0 Green wombat
Giant Zucchini 0-0 Becquerelia
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 1-0 Pastorville

Squids earn surprise point from faltering Tadjikistan

Georgeonia supprised many last night, holding Tadjikistan to a
one all draw away from home, despite being two hundred and two
places behind them in the rankings. Tadjikistan continued a
worrying trend of drawing with the lower ranked teams in group
eleven, and their campaign looks to be stalling as the slipped
to third place. The game started predictably enough, with
Tadjikistani midfielder Kornilov blasting home a shot on twelve
minutes, and the watching fans could have been forgiven for
believing it was already all over. Georgeonia dug deep, however,
and weathered the continual attacks from Tadjikistan for the
remainder of the first half, riding their luck at times as two
shots hit the post.

In the second half, perhaps due the continual pressure they
were excerting, Tadjikistan began to look tired, and this
allowed the Squids to begin to counter attack. On the sixty
second minute, a scrambled Georgeonian clearance found its way
to left wing-back Adomako, who began a storming run up the wing
before crossing to midfielder Benge who had made it into the
penalty area. The Tadjikistan team, concentrating on pushing
forward, could not recover in time to get their defence together,
and Benge headed home for an easy goal. Tadjikistan, upped their
game, correctly anticipating that their coach would be less than
happy were they to fail to win, but the squids managed to
hang on, Ryan clearing off the line in the dieing seconds of the
match. At the final whistle, the large contingent of Georgeonian
fans who had travelled to see the match exploded into wild
celebration, at what is undoubtedly the squids best result in
their short history.

Tonight, Georgeonia play a home game against Giant Zucchini.
The squids lost the corresponding fixture three nil on the
opening day of the competition, and will be hoping to put in
a better performance this time.

Elsewhere in the group, Lovisa gave Green Wombat a sound
thrashing, increasing their lead over the chasing pack, and
ASMV scraped a win in a close game against Pastorville to move
to an impressive second. Giant Zucchini and Becquerelia played
out a boring nil all draw, and Becquerelia remain just one point
behind Georgeonia at the foot of the table.


MD01: Away to Giant Zucchini L 3-0
MD02: Home to Pastorville W 1-0
MD03: Away to Green Wombat L 1-0
MD04: Away to Emperor Pudu D 0-0
MD05: Away to Louvisa L 3-0
MD06: Home to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega L 1-2
MD07: Away to Becquerelia D 1-1
MD08: --- No Match ---
MD09: Away to Tadjikistan D 1-1
Tynelia
13-03-2006, 16:17
“Hello everyone and welcome once again to Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Our power outage which forced us to cancel the last program has been resolved so now I, Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin can once more bring you coverage of Tynelia’s World Cup attempt.”

“In Tynelia’s last game they achieved a pair of notable events. For the first time they gained points playing on the road since match 2 after a hard fought 1-1 draw against the Kazoo People. This was also the first points Tynelia has gotten against a higher seeded team in the tournament> Though the way the Cup is going it looks like the top three of Bettia, Total n Utter Insanity and Nanakaland are running away with the top three spots. The two top seeds destroyed their lower seeded opponents by a combined 9-0 total. Nanakaland was tested by the Weegies but held on for a 2-1 win keeping them eight points ahead of the fourth place Kazoo People despite only a +2 goal differential to date. A possible sign of concern to Nanakaland though with a lead that big it may not matter. Tynelia’s draw moved them up to 6th place tied with the next opponent the Weegies only a point behind the rapidly falling Algal <suddenly a large fanfare of trumpets burst out from the background>”

“Anna, what the hell was that?”

“Well Sal, Tynelian linguists recently noted that the proper name of the Algal States is spelled and pronounced with an L at the end and not a R as most of our press and ourselves have used consistently throughout. Similar to the trouble with the Qazox/Qazoc thing in the BoF.”

“Oh I see. Anyway a win against the Weegies could move Tynelia up a spot as the Kazoo People look to avenge their first round upset loss to the AlgaLs or even two if that games end in a draw. What do you think our chances are there Anna?”

“Well Tynelia seems to have finally gotten into a rhythm since their bye with 5 goals the last three games. The first game was a close 1-0 loss in Tynelia’s first game in the Cup. Given that Tynelia is playing at home and now have some experience at this level of competition don’t be surprised if Tynelia does pull off its first upset of the tournament. A win here and if they hold their seeding against the following games against Risa-Aramour and the still winless New Chakovnia and its possible Tynelia could go into the Bettia game on a three game winning streak. Trailing third place Nanakaland by ten points though even a run like this will probably leave them well out of the picture. Though fourth place is still within reach and would be a good result for our first World Cup.”

“So with half the tournament done what are your thoughts on the way the group has gone? Tynelia finishes the first half with eight points and barely holds its seed for the moment.”

“Considering the slow offensive start that may have cost them a couple draws or even a win this effort hasn’t been too bad. If Tynelia had won the three games against the lower ranked teams and stole a draw against a higher one that would put them at 10 points so they’re not too far behind what was expected. I think they may be able to improve on that the second time around and a twenty point finish is not outside the realm of possibility. Nanakaland has certainly surprised a lot of people in the group. I don’t think anyone expected them to beat everyone else but the top two seeds the first time around., They’re in a strong spot to qualify and maybe even steal one of the top two seeds if either Bettia or total n Utter Insanity falters. The Algals started strong winning three of their first four games but haven’t won since. New Chakovnia has surprised people by not gaining a single point the entire first half. However that makes them dangerous the second time around because no one wants to be the ones to give up points to them. ”

“OK. Here’s a few more numbers from the first half. Tynelia’s defense is tied for 27th as far as the fewest goals allowed which is good considering that only group four has a higher scoring average between the top two scoring teams of their group. Offensively Tynelia is much lower. A tie for 81st is all that the offense could msuter. The scoring drought in the first five games where Tynelia was shutout four times really hurt their numbers there.”

“Yes Sal, that offensive drought as I said many times really hurt Tynelia when it came to picking up a few extra points. Three extra goals would have turned matches 1 and 2 into wins which would have given Tynelia an extra 5 points which would have put them in shouting distance of third rather than their current 10 point difference.”

“Well lets get to today’s action. Visiting an underachieving Kazoo People squad on their home turf was a tough task for Tynelia. The Kazoo People have had trouble recovering from a slow start and really needed a win to keep pace with Nanakaland if they wanted to have a serious shot to grab third. The first score went the Kazoo People’s way as Chadd Johnson fired one past a diving Vladimar Malloy at the 26 minute mark. This marked the third straight game Malloy has given up a goal. Tynelian fans no doubt thought this was the start of yet another hard fought Tynelian effort against a higher ranked team that would fall short once again. This time however, Tynelia kept the pressure up, possibly inspired by their goal on Total n Utter Insanity their last game. Finally the hustle paid off as Adrian Pytte, the Tynelian league MVP got one past Jim Johnson at the 77th minute of the game. Both teams went back and forth at that point exchanging rushes to the net but both keepers slammed the door shut and the game ended in a tie.

“The game breakdown was as even as the score. The shots were tied at 17 apiece with the Kazoo People holding a 4-3 edge in quality shots. Time of possession was close with Tynelia on the short end of it by only a minute and a half. Do you think this will boost the team’s confidence for the rematch with the Weegies?”

“Definitely Sal. Tynelia finally managed to steal a point from a higher ranked team and that will certainly be something to build on. Most players after the opening game against the Weegies felt that that was a game they probably should have at least gotten a tie. Now with home field advantage on their side and recent proof that they can play a higher seed to a dead heat, this could very well turn out to be a Tynelian win. In fact I’ll predict right now that they do pull it out by a 2-1 score.”

“You know Anna, I think this is the first time you picked a Tynelian win in ages. What has changed your mind?”

“The offense believe it or not Sal. It seems like they finally showed up at long last and with the Weegies playing below their normal level so far this has all the makings of an upset.”

“Can Tynelia catch any of the top three?”

“I’m afraid not barring a collapse from Nanakaland- the one of the trio in the lead that is overachieving somewhat, no one will catch them. If Nanakaland only wins three games in the second half that gives them 27 points which means Tynelia would have to go 6-1-1 just to tie them. That’s not going to happen. I think the best case scenario tops Tynelia out around 24 points or so and that involves a few upsets along the way.”

“Ok then Anna, then I guess its time to check the weather with the lovely Harmonie Harris. Hello Harmonie.”


“Hi Sal! Hi Anna! Today’s game will be a painful one. And not just because they’ll be playing the Wedgies either. Hazy hot and humid is the weather forecast for tonight’s game. At least the sun won’t be out to really tire everyone out. But it’ll still be hotter than Jay Masterson in his underwear for that centerfold in “Sports Studs and Babes” magazine. It’ll be going on sale tomorrow and I’ve already ordered my two copies! He is just SO hot! Ok Sal back to you. I need to check the mail and see if it showed up yet.”

“OK Harmonie. Have fun. And it’s the Weegies not the Wedgies that Tynelia will be playing tonight. As always the game will be shown live and in its entirety here in Tynelia and afterwards we’ll be back here for the recap. So for Anna Dalespin this is Sal Spikeman wishing everyone a good night.”

<credits roll>
Kirstiriera
13-03-2006, 17:46
The Green Angels are starting to improve and they spent their bye week preparing to meet up with several of the best teams in the competition... Our last match was a 3-1 beating of the Atheistic Right... The Angels are within 1 or 2 games from a possible playoff place in Group 1 if only the Angels can produce more opportunities on offence and make sure that the team stays healthy at the back. It seems like everyone predicted us to be in last place at this point in the tournament and to be brokenhearted, but the opposite is true... The Angels could not be happier with how the first half of qualification went and hope to improve a lot with the group's return legs...
Dance 2 Revolution
13-03-2006, 19:21
D2R Finally Win!

D2R win during media ban, but against whom?

D2R have had 4 matches since media restrictions were temporarily put into place as an experiment by the government. We have the results here:

Dance 2 Revolution - Kaze Progressa Under 21s

A very entertaining match between 2 attacking style teams. KP took the lead after 16 minutes with a great counter-attacking play, which was expertly placed beyond Mitnav's left by Guarji Tavakov.

Dance 2 Revolution pulled themselves back level 11 minutes later, Darijin played a through ball towards K. Maeda, who rifled the ball into the net from all of 25 yards. This brought the score to 1-1, which it stayed until the second half.

D2R got the second half off to a flyer, Di Sakura heading in a Nibat cross in the 49th minute, although the progressian goalkeeper will be disappointed not to have saved it.

Ubaik brought the scores level for the 3rd time, his well-timed lob over Mitnav after being passed throgugh by Tavakov in the 66th minute brought the score to 2-2, although he was booked for overcelebrating.

Ubaik was lucky not to be sent off when he scored his second and his team's 3rd of the night in the 78th minute. Ubaik went on a mazy run and scored after cutting inside experienced wing-back Forescos and then striking across the ball, spinning it into the far corner. The away crowd went wild and the home crowd awaited what had became the normal feeling of a loss which seemed inevitable.

However, D2R still had one last attack in them. A defensive error led to D2R having a corner kick in the final minute of added time. Goalkeeper Mitnav hauled himself forward for a final corner kick, and amazingly, managed to smash the ball into the net after a scramble in the box, Mitnav had halted the losing streak, but would this continue competitively? Only time would tell...

Full Time
Dance 2 Revolution 3 (K. Maeda 27' Di Sakura 49' Mitnav 90')
Kaze Progressa Under 21s 3 (Guarji Tavakov 16' Mert Ubaik 66', 78')

Qualifying Fixtures:
MD01: @ Anathematic Republics (0-2 L)
MD02: @ The Solar Association (0-2 L)
MD03: vs. UN Peacekeepers (0-2 L)
MD04: vs. Spruitland (2-3 L)
MD05: @ Tonissia (1-4 L)
MD06: vs. Kaze Progressa Under 21s (3-3 D)
MD07: vs. Nebuleux (1-1 D)
MD08: vs. Crystilakere (2-1 W)
MD09: @ Cataduanes (0-1 L)
MD10: vs. Anathematic Republics
MD11: vs. The Solar Association
MD12: @ UN Peacekeepers
MD13: @ Spruitland
MD14: vs. Tonissia
MD15: BYE
MD16: @ Nebuleux
MD17: @ Crystilakere
MD18: vs. Cataduanes
Cuation
13-03-2006, 19:39
Half Way to the World Cup!

It has been three games since news was last heard from Cuation as a power fialure cuased a news blackout. Then we had just lost to CR Oscilloscopes, 1-0, leaving Cuation fourth in the group and some tough games coming up.

Jeruselem 1-1 Cuation

Facing the reserves, the Cuation team put Roy Ferguson back in to rough things up. Both sides played well and a draw was fair, Sol Major's powerful header equalising in the second half. The last two games showed towo diffrient Cuation sides, lax and limp against underdogs, commited and energetic in the big games.

Cuation 1-0 Druida

The team who have been ravaged by illness have struggled and did well to come out with only a 1-0 defeat but sayed near the bottom. Stevie Milnar score the only goal, sneaking in at the far post to tap in in Rual Mendiz's low cross.

Cuation 2-1 Collonie

With the top two places already out of the graps of both these teams, this looked set to be a vital match in the race for 3rd place and the play off's. Collonie scored first but spurred on by the home crowd, Cuation regained control with Roy Ferguson charging down the cenetre before scoring. Sub Nicky Keano won the game in injury time with a poachers goal.

Half Time Review

8 Games played by all teams and Cuation are making a strong early attempt to qualify. Slightly more home games this time round might help or hinder their cause but so far so good.

Jeruselem

Unbeaten Giants, one of two draws was their reserves against Cuation, we are four points behind. 20 points so far, a mere five goals conceded and 23 goals scored, they are running away with it already on current form.

New Montreal States

Two points clear of us, they humliated us in our group game. No draws but two defeats, they have won once more then us and scored five more. Clearly a better team, they will push away from us but I can't see them catching up with Jeruselem.

Cuation

Only one draw, we have pushed ourselves 5 points clear of our nearest challengers. This might be our year to make the World Cup proper but watch out for Cuation's tendancy to drop form at a bad time. Might end up fighting for 3rd place with Collonie on the last game.

Collonie

If they can turn draws into wins then they can overtake us. If however Cuation start to pull away then Collonie may end up fighting to be best of the rest in the group. A good side who will probably put pressure on for 3rd place

CR Oscilloscopes

New side have done pretty well, beating us but I doubt they have the quality to get fourth place. Best bet for them is to try and beat those beneath them while trying to pick the odd points of the stronger teams.

An Archy

Only way is down for this team, they are a fading away and I fear will not get anywhere this year.

Kirstiriera

The predicted whooping boys have played above the standard expected and can feel proud. Within touching distance of CR Oscilloscopes but must be careful not to slide down.

Druida

The ravaged team have started poorly but they have enogh quality to bounce back and become rest of the rest, like Kaze Progressa nearly did last time. Be careful of the sleeping giants folks or watch them overtake you.

Atheistic Right

Two points, no wins at all. Goal now should be get a victory and learn what it feels like to win a match.



Cuation Search For Hacker Continues

In an attempt to find the man who took down the World Cup game, Cuation have gone looking for all known hackers inside the islands with an eye kept on the Opposition Leader, claims to also be a hacker are said to be unfounded but the goverment is showing no bias.

The police are working with Bazalonia officals has not been confirmed
Audioslavia
13-03-2006, 20:27
http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt
Audioslavia: They're Grrrrrrr8!

Audioslavia's 3-1 win over Berner Street last night set a record for the 'slavian football side: For the first time in their 93 year life-span, the Audioslavian national side recorded eight wins in a row.

These eight wins have come in the first eight games of the qualifying tournament, and have put the 'slaves in the perfect position to qualify for their 21st straight World Cup finals tournament.

The Berner Street game was, in all, a comfortable one. Janne Jarnefelt's eighth minute goal set the tone for an electric first half which saw the 'slaves breach the visiting team's net on three occasions, the second coming from Seb Fiori on the half hour mark, with Arturo Vitalis' far post diving header putting the tie effectively beyond doubt just four minutes later.

Berner Street, to their credit, did have a period of pressure in the second half which yielded a consolation goal in the seventy-first minute as their striker beat Vainamoinen on the edge of the area and shot low and hard past Yngve.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 8 8 0 0 17 6 11 24
2 Commerce Heights 8 5 1 2 15 6 9 16
3 Kelse 8 4 2 2 13 9 4 14
4 Chicanada 8 4 1 3 9 5 4 13
5 Nedalia 8 3 2 3 14 15 -1 11
6 Ariddia 8 3 2 3 12 13 -1 11
7 Berner Street 8 1 2 5 7 14 -7 5
8 Pedriana 8 1 2 5 6 14 -8 5
9 Ocmeoub 8 1 0 7 5 16 -11 3

The 'slaves are eight points clear of Commerce Heights, who are beginning to stamp their authority over second place, and ten ahead of Kelse in the playoff spot. If the 'slaves fail to continue their 100% record, which is most likely, then at least ten points over the next eight games should put the 'slaves through to the World Cup. Fingers crossed though, for another lossless eight games to move this Audioslavian team to the finals next June. Not bad for a side dubbed 'boring', 'uninspiring' and 'the worst Audioslavia side for thirty years'.

Next week the 'slaves get to sit at home in front of the telly and watch the lower ranked teams battle it out for supremacy. So, in place of the usual World Cup report, we'll be running the first of a series of articles on classic moments and matches in Audioslavian football, starting with the 'impossible mission' of World Cup 9, where the Audioslavian team found themselves second from bottom of their 'group of death' approaching the half way point of the qualifiers. What happened? Watch this space, and you'll find out.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.
Magnus Valerius
13-03-2006, 20:28
A Valerian citizen arrives home from work, tired after working on another luxury car for some noble living in some private ski resort somewhere. His family and wife (who also came home from working on a farm) join him for dinner, eating the usual Valerian fares such as roundbread, rice, simmered broccoli, pickled cabbage and other pickled vegetables, waterfowl borscht, and plum syrniki. The subject of football came up when Svetlana, the wife, asked to switch it onto the sports report.

"Joseph, why don't you switch it onto the sports report? I wanna hear how the Boyars have been doing so far."

"No, Svetlana," grunted Joseph. "They suck! They have been losing for the past four days or something like that."

"Well, there is always another eight days to try and win, right?"

"Wrong. I'm rooting for teams that actually have decent skill, like The Archregimancy's world team."

"So you like your football team to look like Patriarch Feodor on 'the church channel'... you know, when he shows up with his monastic robes on Channel 168? Come on, give the Boyars some time. They're not that experienced, and they will probably improve next time!"

"Whatever... Fr. David the Water Drinker surely rocks! He could beat George Illyanich of the Boyars anyday. What a lame heap."

Sadly to say, many Valerian fans are disillusioned with the current state of the team and the coach. They don't realize that Magnus Valerius is swinging with an inexperienced team, but maybe next world cup, they'll improve and become more respected at home again.

Coach Ilya Pavlov prays for at least one or two more wins to save his arse from an angry mob of Valerian football fanatics...
Schiavonia
13-03-2006, 21:03
The Schiavone Scribe
A walk in the Park
Schiavonia 3-1 Jon Parkin

So here we are, then. Half way through qualifying, and Schiavonia have somehow managed to stay atop group twelve again, this time handing out a mullering to Jon Parkin.

Yes, despite Squornshelous taking home a number of awards for their attacking style of play during the first half of qualifying, it is the mighty Sloths who ride highest after their latest Tarmey-inspired victory.

Craig McAndrew, however, missed out on the game after a clerical error saw him accidentally named Jon Parkin by the Oliverrian match officials. Cue mass confusion, followed ultimately by McAndrew's omission from the side in favour of Gary Topp.

It was Tony Tarmey who stood out for the home team, though, putting two past the JP defence before putting Di Mascherenasi through for a third before Parkin scored for Parkin in the dying moments, while the Orange and Scarlet Army in the stands were too busy having yet another victory celebration.

Final score:
Schiavonia 3 (Tarmey 35, 59, Di Mascherenasi 64)
Jon Parkin 1 (Parkin 88)


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Schiavonia 8 7 1 0 17 6 11 22
2 Squornshelous 8 6 1 1 32 11 21 19
3 Kericia 8 3 4 1 11 8 3 13
4 The Islands of Qutar 8 3 2 3 15 11 4 11
5 Jon Parkin 8 2 3 3 17 22 -5 9
6 The Macabees 8 1 4 3 8 14 -6 7
7 San Adriano 8 1 3 4 5 15 -10 6
8 Apologetic Kittens 8 0 5 3 8 17 -9 5
9 Spaamanian Plijous 8 1 1 6 6 15 -9 4

So here's how it's gone so far. We're top, somehow, and Squornshelous are second, a fair distance above third placed Kericia. Then come Kericia and Qutar, who we'd be expecting to be challenging the sloths for second were it not for our fantastic form so far. JP are fifth, ahead of The Macabees, which is a slight surprise, while little San Adriano have surpassed all expectations by reaching the dizzy heights of seventh! The kittens have flattered to deceive again (probably too busy apologising), while the Spaamanian Plijous... well, they're just not Spaam are they?

Blimey, that was a quick round-up. As for the rest of the campaign, the Psychoses should overhaul the Sloths on the basis that Schiavonia have five away games in their last eight games, including a trip to Squornshelous. Qutar should overcome Kericia for third if they bother putting the effort in, same goes for The Macabees looking to overhaul at least Jon Parkin. The kittens will undoubtedly be looking to improve too, Spaam Not Spaam suck, while San Adriano are doing alright by their standards.

In other words, the ones putting the effort in are the ones in the best positions. The rest of the group just don't seem to want hte play-off place, and whoever comes across Group 12's play-off team should make it to the finals. And that could be anyone. San Adriano, anyone?
Swilatia
13-03-2006, 21:49
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif
Today Swilatia's National Football Team will have a match against bazalonia again. Last time we had a draw with Bazalonia. We hope to win to them this time around, and reclaim and secure a position on the top three in this group, so that we do qualify for the world cup this time.

Are you show sure we will qualify? Last time the Swilatian National Football Team played against Bazalonia, we were very close to losing! And we are also probably going to lose this time as the bazalonian team is getting tougher.

We all are. Evan Swilatia. I am sure that we will defeat Bazalonia this time, as well as The Footie Dream Team and Rordia, and we will probably win to New Pruessen and Popolus again. only half of the qualifications have passed, and there still is a chance.

But what about Rejistania, Praying2God, and The Archregimancy. We have no chance of winning to those guys. I mean, both Rejistania and Praying2God beat us, and that cannot be good for the Swilatian National Football Team.

Well, its true that Rejistania and Praying2God beat us, but we almmost won to The Archregimancy. I mean, those guys just stopped our last goal attempt when it was tied, and if they did not we would have won the match against them and got even higher on the groups rankings.

But you know we would have had plenty of time to be knocked back down, as that was only after one quarter of the whole qualification thing has passed by. Face it. The Swilatian National Football Team has little or no chances of making it into the World Cup left. And I do not think Swilatia will qualify this time, maybe next World Cup, which is World Cup # 28 will go much better than this one.
Casari
13-03-2006, 22:31
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

4-0 Win against some people
No suprise, Casari already prepping for demanding 2nd half

With a 4-0 win against Imperial Moose behind them, Casari is looking ahead to the much more difficult half of qualifying.

"With six of our eight matches away, we're going to have to prepare carefully and make sure that all of the travelling doesn't get to us and hurt the quality of play." Hill said to the press.

But not much happened other than that.
Sarzonia
13-03-2006, 23:35
Stars match to everyone's benefit, 3-1

WOODSTOCK (ASP) -- In the end, the final score was the last thing on Coach Dave Wilson's mind. His Sarzonian national team were playing a select side from Nedalia's Premier League in a friendly that was also a benefit for the Bryan Marshall Memorial Stars Care Fund, which Wilson founded to benefit the victims of the Sarzonian economic downturn.

Sarzonia defeated the Nedalian select side by a 3-1 score in a match that showed why forward Brian Williams was highly touted by Partisan Drizza in the Hyper League. He scored twice and his pressure led to an own goal by central defender Harrlon Bond to provide the Stars with all the goals they would need.

"It's always nice to win a football match, but the real winners are the people of Sarzonia and everyone involved here," Wilson said. "Nedalia have proven to be great friends of ours and their help has gone a long way toward helping thousands of people put their lives back together in the midst of everything that's gone on with this economic depression."

Randy Gamman, the first man to manage the Nedalia Lions national team, coached the Premier League selection in the friendly. He said the Stars were an excellent team, adding that the team played together "like a club side.

"They're really well-coached," he said. "That team plays hard no matter who's on the pitch and no matter what the stakes. They're going to be awfully tough for anybody to beat. This match was a great experience for our lads and for everyone involved."

The game time temperature hovered near the 19 degree Celcius mark and a near capacity crowd of 58,943 attended the match. The fund raised $31.7 million before kickoff with Isselmerian-Nielanders accounting for the largest foreign contributors with $6.3 million coming from that nation. The benefit match and auction raised $19.4 million, and Wilson said "every penny of that" will benefit families still in need.

"We want to show the world that we look out for our own and we take care of the people in our country who need us the most. This match is a reminder to everyone that there's a lot more to life than football."

Lineups
SARZONIA Aaron Lee (Horace Sandt 45); Jeff Comstock, Kurt Laughton, Ridley Scott (Trevor Crenshaw 45), Kenny Houlder; Henrik Bastale (Darwin Russell 45); Jenna Raven; Jarret Sanderson (Bobby Convey 45); Sterling Bridger; Brian Williams (Brian Wilson 45); Roy Spencer (Anton Gregor 45).
MANAGER: Dave Wilson

NEDALIA PREMIER LEAGUE Buntan Jommol; Dersten Derlenei, Jamal Mounir, Harrlon Bond, Gilbert Causton; Venice Myth, Carlos Amoyas, Khalil Jamhurra (c), Verdalittino; Dennis Howard, Mohammed Sakker
MANAGER: Randy Gamman

SCORING
SARZONIA Williams 18, own goal (Bond 31), Williams 45+1.
NEDALIA Howard 56.
[NS]Bazalonia
13-03-2006, 23:45
"Intensive Training for Home Match against Swilatia"

If you can remember back to Matchday 1 of the World cups the Bazalopes Travelled to Swilatia and Acheived a draw. But as now the team has seemed to be on a roll, and with the Extra home-ground advantage of the match being undertaken at TeleBaz Stadium in Fauxhan. Expectations of the Bazalopes winning this match is high among it's supporters.

Neil Kabants have been reported to be "Working the team hard", giving them extra training sessions and increasing the intensity of the training session. He said, when I talked to him earlier, "our fans will never forgive us if we lose" well that might be exaggerating a bit but never before has the excitement been as obvious about a home match at this.

Can the Bazalopes win? or will they draw, or worse lose this match. Well only , 90 minutes will be able to tell. With the new well performing Bazalopes it seems that beating Swilatia on home turf is a big possibility
Rejistania
14-03-2006, 00:02
Avanti Popolus('ja)!

The Orange-Blues defeated Popolus by a 3:0 scoreline in the Estadije Sen-La-Sa~o in KaMaRi kali, Riandu kalesa. The Orange-Blues again played an unkarelan 5-4-1. Other nations might still consider this a karelan formation, but according to rejistanians a 5-4-1 as the Orange-blues play it and as coach Seletarakeledira "Maniac" Hanselijimijile prefers obviously is called System Jesejil or Sistenha Jesejil'tes. Jesejil kali is a city in central-Rejistania, which used to have one or two teams with changing names in the lower regions of the H1SR.

The so called Pops played an offensive 5-3-2 and tried to attack early and often. The Orange-blues did not limit themselves to a totally counter-attacking match. The Orange-Blues had a good chance to take the lead in the 12th minute, but defender Francesco cleared in the last possible moment. After some good chances, the Orange-Blues were able to take the lead in the 34th minute: The winger Sinimene Janjal was able to score after a misunderstanding in the Populi defense. Later the Orange-Blues were able to increase the score in the injury time of the first half. An excellent shot of Haraira Tamak~hi sailed into the upper right corner of the net, impossible to parry for goalie Mike Hal. In the 76th minute, the hetkalian forward was able to increase the score again. 3:0 was the final score.