NationStates Jolt Archive

Welcome to the World Cup 27 RP Thread.

Group Draws
Group 1
Jeruselem (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10512161&postcount=26)(14)
New Montreal States (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10516635&postcount=40) (22)
Druida (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10512503&postcount=28)(46)
Cuation (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10513421&postcount=33)(48)
Collonie (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10517729&postcount=43) (78)
An Archy (134)
Atheistic Right (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510687&postcount=15) (193)
CR Oscilloscopes (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510973&postcount=18) (205)
Kirstiriera (211)

Group 2
Total n Utter Insanity (5)
Bettia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10518816&postcount=50)(27)
The Kazoo Peoples (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510543&postcount=13) (45)
Nanakaland (53)
The Weegies (65)
Tynelia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10509676&postcount=3) (135)
Risa-Aramour (163)
Algal states (193)
The New Chakovnia (211)

Group 3
Eauz (6)
Vilita (20)
Milchama (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10511186&postcount=19) (44)
Elrich (60)
Tanah Burung (74)
Hiiraan (93)
Qazox (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10513252&postcount=32)(139)
Dorian and Sonya (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510032&postcount=7) (211)
Valertinette (211)

Group 4
Sarzonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10513215&postcount=31)(4)
Krytenia (16)
Hypocria (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10518369&postcount=47)(41)
Lethislavania (55)
Legalese (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10519283&postcount=57)(64)
Palacetonia (123)
Vuam and Isma (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510379&postcount=9) (187)
Rorysville (209)
Revived Constantinople (211)

Group 5
Crystilakere (12)
Spruitland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10512791&postcount=29)(23)
Cataduanes (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10512483&postcount=27)(40)
Tonissia (59)
Anathematic Republics (79)
Dance 2 Revolution (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10509752&postcount=4) (86)
The Solar Association (187)
Nebuleux (209)
UN Peacekeepers (211)

Group 6
Rejistania (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10511734&postcount=24) (8)
Praying2God (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10518154&postcount=46)(28)
The Archregimancy (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10517054&postcount=41) (33)
Rordia (57)
Swilatia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510521&postcount=12) (69)
Bazalonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510615&postcount=14) (112)
New Preussen (171)
Popolus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10518995&postcount=51)(201)
The Footie Dream Team (211)

Group 7
Liverpool England (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10515820&postcount=37) (2)
Turori (26)
The Lowland Clans (42)
Yafor 2 (49)
Rolatia (77)
Allied Anime Worlds (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10517107&postcount=42) (117)
Mr Chuck Norris (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10512081&postcount=25) (187)
TheSuncoastofFlorida (199)
The Belmore Family (211)

Group 8
Starblaydia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10513575&postcount=34)(7)
Oliverry (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510944&postcount=17) (19)
Wentland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10515109&postcount=36)(43)
Spaam (51)
East Lithuania (71)
Haraki (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510510&postcount=11) (117)
Obsidianus (163)
Priggdom (207)
Shing-Shang (211)

Group 9
Audioslavia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10511501&postcount=22)(15)
Commerce Heights (24)
Nedalia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10519347&postcount=54)(31)
Chicanada (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10509835&postcount=5)(50)
Ariddia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10509983&postcount=6) (62)
Kelse (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10518079&postcount=45)(135)
Pedriana (147)
Berner Street (201)
Ocmeoub (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510780&postcount=16) (211)

Group 10
Hockey Canada (10)
Casari (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510502&postcount=10) (21)
Kaze Progressa (37)
Harlesburg (52)
Majeristan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10519281&postcount=52)(70)
McPsychoville (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10511298&postcount=20) (108)
Imperial Moose (193)
Crna Gora Liv Eng (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10518657&postcount=49) (211)
Magnus Valerius (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10511674&postcount=23) (211)

Group 11
Tadjikistan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10515860&postcount=38)(9)
Lovisa (17)
Giant Zucchini (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10518503&postcount=48) (32)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10509629&postcount=2) (58)
Pastorvillle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10512882&postcount=30)(63)
Becquerelia (132)
Green wombat (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10517736&postcount=44) (135)
Georgeonia (211)
Emporer Pudu (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10520143&postcount=56) (211)

Group 12
Squornshelous (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10514882&postcount=35)(11)
Schiavonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10511447&postcount=21)(29)
The Islands of Qutar (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10522023&postcount=58) (30)
Kericia (56)
The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10516504&postcount=39) (67)
Apologetic Kittens (83)
Jon Parkin (171)
Spaamanian Plijous (201)
San Adriano (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10510091&postcount=8) (211)

Please not that all unranked teams are listed here as being ranked #211, which they are equivalent to, as actual #211 Georgeonia has 0.00 KPB points.

Fixtures
MD01: 2v9, 3v8, 4v7, 5v6, 1st seed bye
MD02: 3v1, 9v4, 8v5, 7v6, 2nd seed bye
MD03: 1v5, 2v4, 6v9, 7v8, 3rd seed bye
MD04: 7v1, 6v2, 5v3, 9v8, 4th seed bye
MD05: 1v9, 2v8, 3v7, 4v6, 5th seed bye
MD06: 2v1, 9v3, 8v4, 7v5, 6th seed bye
MD07: 1v4, 2v3, 5v9, 6v8, 7th seed bye
MD08: 6v1, 5v2, 4v3, 9v7, 8th seed bye
MD09: 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5, 9th seed bye
MD10 through MD18 is the same as MD01 through MD09 except the home team and the away team are reversed.

Scores will start on Saturday. Get out there and RP! Any questions, telegram myself or Bedistan or privite message us on IRC. Good luck and have fun!

AIN'T IT FINE

Paladins draw Group 1, gear up for long slog through qualifiers

BEDISTAN - Several Paladins fans in their old folks' homes watching on TV as smiled in irony as the Blue and Silver returned to Bedistan. The last time this happened, large hunks of both Columbia and New Montreal went up in flames after a 1-0 upset by the newcomer Paladins against the Lions. Since this happened 66 (or so) years ago, most survivors tend to be rather elderly, and acrimony has completely disappeared.

Not that the Paladins were there to play football. Rather, Branstone brought his whole team to watch the draw, and went home two days later after an incident-free trip.

"Just a little R&R and a chance to puzzle out what, if anything, this draw means for us," said Branstone. What it looks like, at least from here, is a long, hard journey through qualifiers.

Group 1
Jeruselem (14) - Crusaders moving up after stalling in the group stage for the past couple tournaments. Expect a pair of tight, well played matches and Jeruselem breezing into the Cup.
New Montreal States (22) - Rah rah rah. Rah. And so forth.
Druida (46) - What we call a football side, they call "System Hisisim." They also were destroyed by alcoholics wielding giant dodgeballs. We won't blame our fans if they show a reluctance to travel to this once-mighty WC24 host that missed the previous cup owing to dodgeball-related damage.
Cuation (48) - Neck and neck with the former power is this side looking to power past the Rainbows (and maybe us as well) and into group stage. Don't be amazed if they pull it off either.
Collonie (78) - Milchaman. Bleah.
An Archy (134) - Promising-looking side has tailed off a bit since last meeting the Paladins. Might leap back into the thick of things, however.
Atheistic Right (193) - Darwinistic society about to receive a brutal lesson in survival of the fittest. See you in four years.
CR Oscilloscopes (205) - Who would leave valuable scientific equipment lying around on a football pitch?
Kirstiriera (211) - Recipient of this group's "Mr. Anonymous" award.

Holy Sh** - No TnUI!!!

The group draws for WC27 were announced earlier tonight and the main news coming out of it for ASMV fans everywhere was the lack of seeing TnUI atop the grouping the Sea Dragons were drawn into.

And while that sounds like great news at first glance, Group 11 shows no love for an ASMV squad looking to make a great run in this one. Let's look at the group.

Group 11
Tadjikistan (9)
Lovisa (17)
Giant Zucchini (32)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (58)
Pastorvillle (63)
Becquerelia (132)
Green wombat (135)
Georgeonia (211)
Emporer Pudu (211)

The Tigers of Tadjikistan sit there on top and look to be the class of the group. We have seen these guys in action at the Draggonnii Inviyati (where they absolutely crushed Starblaydia). If that is any sign of what they can consistently manage, we could be in real trouble with this one.

Lovisa. We cant tell you very much about this side. But a 17th ranking speaks for itself.

32nd ranked Giant Zucchini poses a real test for us. If we hope to move out of the qualifiers, this is the squad we have to contend with first. If we cant manage to steal points from these guys, we can pack it in now. We know it - and you can bet they do too.

Pastorville. These guys share our kind of luck. That means both of us will probably be fighting with Becquerelia and the wierd ones from Green Wombat for survival. Both us and Pastorvill are talented enough to move on past the group stages. But will we? Probably not.

Becquerelia(132) and Green Wombat(135) are sitting right in that ranking area that we traditionally have trouble beating. We should take care of them fairly easily. Should is the key word here.

Georgeonia (211) and Emporer Pudu (211) should find a great battle for the doormat spot in the group. That is unless Pastorville or ASMV live up to normailty yet again.

All in all, we have been given a group that it is possible to move forward in. We just have to handle the lower ranked sides. Get our points from Pastorville and the Zucchinis. If we manage to steal something from Lovisa or Tadjikistan, we are throwing a parttyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jimmy Youth talking with Jonathan Fairbanks...

JY: Wasn't that a boring draw eh?
JF: Right... It was pretty bad. Atleast, Jamie was there so I could see some Milchamans...
JY: I mean: I had to throw a rock to the speaker, but nothing happened. After, I threw him a paper airplane. Nothing again. I mean: I slept half of the time.
JF: Right. Even if you had these hot cheerleaders behind ya.
JY: What? I had hot cheerleaders? They are Oliverrian right?
JF: Yup. The only hot person in Hockey Canada, from your opinion is their head of state right?
JY: Yup. I met her sometimes during my political career. She looks pretty hot. Especially for a dictator!
JF: Anyway, the best part was assurately when someone beat the crap out of the Penguin. Tux is his name right?
JY: Yes. He is System Karelan or, if you like, Rejistanian. He is owned by someone whose nickname is "Rejis". I wonder what it means...
JF: Me was well.
JY: After the 8th team, I got woken up by something I can't remember it is...
JF: It was the sound of the guy that hurt Sam Bacon. Man, that was so funny.
JY: Anyway, turns out we will have Starblaydia in our group.
JF: Yup. There is a rivalry that we can start if we do something.
JY: What is that something?
JF: Remember the thing with the dwarf back in Cherry Cup 10 or 11?
JY: How do you know about it?
JF: I heard about it many times. It still marks many Starblaydis. When they played Milchama when I was the manager, many fans talked about it. They still remember it and they want revenge!
JY: Right. So, what do you want to do about it?
JF: Well... [secret plan that can't be unvailed]. You understand?
JY: Perfect! As the President of the AOS, I agree with this plan! Oliverry for World Cup 27?
JF: Yup! Oliverry for World Cup 27!

ASMV Opens New Stadium Against Green Wombat


ASMV is pleased to announce the opening of the Sea Dragon's newly completed home - Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea. http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVStadiumEdit.jpg

It is fitting that the first opponent to step foot on the new pitch will be Green Wombat. Some critics have stated they wished for Cuation or Hypocria to be the first to play a match there. One even said the two should play each other. But Green Wombat is the opponent, and that is fine with us.

Now why would we be so happy to host those smelly little Green Wombats in our first match in our new stadium? Excellent question. One that will require a little zoological knowledge of the mighty Sea Dragon. You see, the favorite snack of the Sea Dragon just happens to be none other than the Green Wombat. Makes sense now doesnt it?

Anyway, Green Wombat is all fired up and ready to go. Time to make them wish for a return to the BoF.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

THE MONASTIC TIMES

WORLD CUP DRAW SETS UP ECUMENICAL GRUDGE MATCH
Sabellian Heresy of Praying2God Footballers Denounced

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

Already buffeted by controversy over the need to play World Cup qualifiers during Lent, monastic football fans were today reeling from the discovery that they would have to play the Protestant heretics of Praying2God in World Cup qualification.

"What makes it particularly galling" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity "is that those Hell-bound Sabellians are actually currently ranked 5 places _above_ us."

The news that the Archregimancy also has to play perennial heathen powers Rejistania, and rising new teams Rordia, Swilatia, and the Bazalopes of Bazalonia was apparently lost in the immediate aftermath of the draw, as Monastic Football Associations denounced Praying2God for their heresies, and broke out the abacus in order to try and work out if there would be some form of playoff this qualification season as taking the top two teams from 12 groups of 9 would not provide enough qualifiers, and taking the top three teams would provide too many.


MR. CHUCK NORRIS SQUAD DECLARED ILLEGAL
"Worst Case of International Team-Hopping Since Peter Hobble" Says Official

Senior MFA officials were today protesting to tournament organisers about the inclusion of defender Baka Laka Daka Raka in the Mr. Chuck Norris World Cup squad.

"We know that the nations of ordinary physical reality consider nothing to be sacred" said the by-now stereotypical senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity "but their own roster says that this Daka Kaka Maka Paka character is a foreign exchange student from Hrakastan! Since when were national teams permitted to include players from other nations? And he's in their starting XI. If this sort of thing's permitted, then we want to reconfigure our team so it consists of nothing but the best Orthodox players from the top 10 nations of the world! It's the worst case of nation-hopping since Bazalonia captain Peter Hobble was caught playing for Elrich in the Cup of Harmony!"


The Roster Of The Fighting Norris

8 Baka Laka Daka Raka (18)
● Actually a foreign exchange student from Hrakastan, another one of the few players on the team with experience in football beyond the Baptism of Fire.

Starting Lineup
GK Mr. Bednarik
D Scottest Hovest
D ♪
D Baka Laka Daka Raka
MF Pat Smock
MF Zach Brickhouse
MF Yianni Karvo
MF Paper Mario
F Chuck Norris
F OJ Pimpson
F The Burger King

THE MONASTIC TIMES GROUP 6 QUALIFICATION PREVIEW

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

Rejistania (8) - They may be heathens, but they're also the clear favourites to win the group. But while their football association may deny it to their last breath, Archregimancy fans will remember our 3-1 qualifying victory against the takelans two world cups ago. Not that it did us much good, mind.

Praying2God (28) - The second seeds are Protestant heretics of the worst sort, whose adherence to the vile sins of Sabellian heresy (or was it Arianism or Pelagianism - so difficult to keep track these days) has marred their otherwise impressive leap into the top 30. It'll be a dog-collar fight for second place between this lot and us.

The Archregimancy (33) - We're third seeds. Again. But the gap between second and third seeds is smaller in this group than any other group except group 12, so with support from the Lord our God, there's every reason to expect we can reach the top 2. And even third wouldn't be too bad - if we've read the groups right, there'll have to be playoffs between the 12 third place teams.

Rordia (57) - Rising team capable of an upset, so will have to be watched. But otherwise they seem to have slipped under our theological radar.

Swilatia (69) - Ditto, and distinguished by a team kit that's surely a heresy against fashion in thought and word and deed.

Bazalonia (112) - Another rising team, though here the main question is whether the Archregimancy will allow Peter Hobble into the nation for the home qualifier. The answer hinges on whether Hobble has indeed been infected with lycanthropism - if he has, he can at the very least expect to be exorcised before kick-off.

New Preussen (171) - If they're anything like we remember the Teutonic Knights from a few centuries back, they'll be far too heavy on their feet to play well.

Popolus (201) - Who?

The Footie Dream Team (211) - Doomed to face a footie nightmare

When the Kazoos' kits were announced for the World Cup, there were only shirts included, and no shorts. We roved about our capital of Kazoo City to see what people thought...:

"It sickens me!" said Fanny Milkosoveckh, aged 94. "In my day, we wore one-piece suits for all sporting activities -- we never had to worry about shorts! Apparently, that's what the Ministry of Sport has done... gone back to old times and forgotten about shorts! I don't want to see some guys running about in just shirts.... think of the children!"

"It's a new look on things," said free-spirit Apple Trehuger, aged 19. "I mean, like, if you want to run around with no shorts, that's, like, awesome that government is supporting this, you know?"

Local crazy person Donald McRonald said, "I remember a time not too long ago... . It was World Cup 26. No wait! The Baptism of Fire! I remember someone saying something about the Kazoos running onto the field with blue shorts and orange shirts, a kazoo proudly blazoned across their chest. Am I the only one that remembers this!?!? Has my mind deteriorated so much I can't remember if we were wearing pants in World Cup 26!??!? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!?"

Even the Kazoo players have been confused. Mark Perknowleski had this to say: "Well, it has been kinda creepy at our daily, 9-hour practices. We wear our boxers or briefs out on the field, and people look at us funny. I don't know whose idea this was, but it is a sick joke, and I want it to stop. Is a pair of shorts too hard to ask for?"

What really happened? Minister of Sport (and Head Coach of the Kazoos) had this to say: "We want to go back to our old values, you know, like World Cup 26 Baptism of Fire. That's it! Blue shorts and orange shirts and a kazoo emblazoned across their chest, that's what we'll wear. Ah, I have a picture of the shorts from our last World Cup... here we are!"

http://www.rlssdirect.co.uk/images/catalogue/PR-LW1012.jpg

Aka later claimed that these shorts were in the locker room the entire time, and that players didn't see them.

"I'm glad we have shorts now," admitted Perknowleski. "I just want to put this whole thing behind me."

Donald McRonald shouted at a pigeon that he was right all along about the kits, and that no one would listen to him. He was generally ignored, with some schoolchildren occasionally stopping to throw a Kazoo or two at him.

---
Kazoos placed in Group 2, await many tough opponents

The draw for World Cup 27 qualification was held today in Bedistan. The draw was an hour long, and was peppered with uncensored violence in the middle of the draw, as "Bedistan Football Association president Sam Bacon, who performed most of the draw, was stabbed by Crna Gora Liv Eng representative Timoslav Hinedevic midway through the assignment of the eighth of the nine pots." Bacon's condition is unknown at this time.

With the Kazoos claiming the third seed in Group 2, with a world rank of 45, qualification hopes still exist.

"We're in a lot better shape than World Cup 26," admitted Aka. "We were in the middle of the group in World Cup 26 qualification. This time, we're in the top third of Group 2."

However, the Head Coach neglected to mention that the foes of Group 2 are extremely tough. The group contains Total n Utter Insanity (ranked 5th in the world), Bettia (27th), Nanakaland (53rd), and The Weegies (65th). But not to underestimate the other teams in the region, Aka also warned of the little guys: "Teams like Tynelia (135th), Risa-Aramour (163rd), Algal states (193rd), and The New Chakovnia (211) shouldn't give us too much problems, but if you recall from World Cup 26, anything can happen. We can't disregard these teams and our matches with them. We must be careful, and ever vigilant."

Local crazy person Donald McRonald had his predictions all lined up by the time we got to the convienence store, where McRonald was putting out a fire with gasoline. As he was being taken away into custody, he flung a gasoline-sodden piece of notebook paper at our roving reporters... it read:

Predictions for World Cup 27 Qualification
Below that lay a smudge of ink, with the words "Group 1" almost unreadable, but the order? Definitely unreadable.
Group 2
1. Total n Utter Insanity
::Expect two losses against these guys
2. The Kazoo Peoples
::Huh? Oh, wait, that's us
3. Nanakaland
::A draw and a loss
4. Bettia
::A draw and a loss
5. The Weegies
::Two draws
6. Tynelia
::Two draws
7. Risa-Armour
::Two wins
8. Algal states
::Two wins
9. The New Chakovnia
::Two wins
Record Prediction: 6-6-4, 24 points
Group 3
The rest of the sheet was completely illegible, gasoline all over. One of our reporters lit up a cigarette, and the paper immediately burst into flames.

"Oops."
---
Others offer predictions

Ministry of Sport announces stadium, ticket prices for qualifying matches

"As with World Cup 26, we are pleased to announce that the qualification stadium where all home matches will be held at Kazoo Kola Stadium in Kazoo City, but due to current Ministry regulations, any matches held there will be referred to as 'Kazoo City Stadium.' Kazoo Kola Stadium seats 105,917 fans. Ticket prices vary, from K$99 to K$29."
---
QUALIFYING SCHEDULE ANNOUNCED
MD1: Algal states, home
MD2: Total n Utter Insanity, home
MD3: OFF
MD4: The Weegies, away
MD5: Risa-Aramour, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: OFF
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away

---
Kazoos announce intentions on staging a friendly

Minister of Sport Manni Aka announced that he wants to play "18 days of constant footballing action." To accomplish this, he wishes to schedule friendlies, or matches which have no effect on qualification or ranking on Matchdays 3 and 12. This would include all teams seeded third in the group.

Prospective list (in order of preference):
The Islands of Qutar (rematch of WC 26 BoF! Maybe a home and away set?)
Milchama, Hypocria, The Archregimancy (Tie. Anyone want a rematch from the Pre-World Cup 27 Draggonni Inviyatti?)
Cataduanes (We've heard about you. Care for a game?)
Druida (You need something to do on your off day, right?)
Giant Zucchini (No, I still don't know my Giant Zucchini football)
Kaze Progressa (Ah, the ever elusive Kaze Progressa.)
Wentland (We've heard a lot about you guys)
The Lowland Clans, Nedalia (Tie. We kinda know you people.)

Mystical Unicorns to face Milchama First - Uh Oh!!

Queen Sonya entered the locker room of the Unicorn's practice facility in White Hall to give the girls an uplifting speech.

"Now girls, this is our first ever international match. Who cares that we have never played at this level? Who cares that Milchama is ranked 44th in the world while we are hiding back at 211? Who cares that no one gives us a chance?........I sure as hell dont! We can win this one! Lets get out there and show those Warriors what we are made of! We practice against Ogres! Milchama cant be tougher than they are!"

Cheers errupted from the very young, all female elven squad as they exited the locker room for their final practice.

Queen Sonya turned to one of the towel girls. "Do you think they bought it?"

towel girl: "Yes, M'Lady. Every word!"

Queen Sonya: "Do you think it will actually help?"

towel girl: "No, M'Lady. Not in the least little bit"

Queen Sonya began to walk away. "My thoughts exactly. Let's just not tell the girls that."

towel girl: "As you wish, M'Lady"

Lion took the time to be physically present at the 27th World Cup Qualifing Draw, he stood in the back wating for the pot with Atheisitic Right to come around. Once it did he did not have to wait long for the name to be pulled out, Atheistic Right, it was first. Atheisitic Right was in Group 1 along with Jeruselem, New Montreal States, Druida, Cuation, Collonie, An Archy ,CR Oscilloscopes and Kirstiriera. What he saw at the draw looked like a circus more than anything else. In one instance a representative from some nation made a paper airplane and through it at the person performing the draw. Another nation attempted to tell on them but where quickly bribed. And just the general commotion of the draw was something that he did not expect, but he liked anyway. After he left he aloud to himself "Maybe we do fit in here" as he headed back to his hotel room for his plane trip back to Atheisitic Right

QAZOX CITY HERALD

The Only Daily newspaper the Holy Book of Hoofaran doesn't condemn

The WCC has released the schedules for the WCQ and here's Qazox' schedule
Home matches in Bold
Match Day One--@ Elrich
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Capacity 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Seven--BYE
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette atFromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.

As you can see by the schedule, half of our home games come before our 1st bye date. If we can win 3 of those 4 and get a win vs either Milchama and Elrich, then we are in good shape as 7 of the next ten matches will be on the road before our 2nd bye date. The final home games, especially the final one being played in our nation's capital; coupled with a great start could help Qazox push for a WC berth, but those 7 of 10 road games might take the wind out of our sails.

Here's a Quick Look at the teams Qazox will be playing in WC27Q.

#6 Eauz--Multiple-time winner of the World Cup, Finished 3rd in World Cup 26, probably already into the Next Round.

#20 Vilita--Made it to World Cup 26 , Finished 3rd in Group C. Mostly to beat Eauz out for top spot in Region.

#44 Milchama-- Finished 4th in Region 15 last year, Much Improved, will contend for top-two spot with Eauz & Vilita.

#60 Elrich--Finished a disapointing 6th in its qualifing group last year. Previous expirence will help.

#74 Tanah Burung--Almost made it to WC 26 last time. might be good enough to make it this time.

#93 Hiiraan--Poor Showing last WCQ. should improve, but tough group to advance in.

#211(tied) Valertinette and Dorian and Sonya-- Not much is known about either of these teams, since they declined a BoF invite. May surpise some teams, but not much is expected.

It was possibly a mistake to use the Krypton Factor theme tune to introduce the World Cup draw as that put a lot of people off before it even started. However, with the Swifts nominated as third seeds, the big advantage was that they would come out of the Proverbial Hat a lot quicker than last time and the Wentland audience could see which slaughterers the lambs were being sent to. Sort of.

Group 5 looked quite good after the first two seeds were drawn, but alas Cataduanes got that particular gig. Everyone was then hoping for Group 9, so being drawn out in 8 was a bit anti-climactic. And not easy, the top 2 seeds with a combined world ranking of 26 made that one of the hardest of groups.

As the other teams were drawn out the commentators were at a loss as to what to say. No-one seemed to know anything about the other teams. East Lithuania had been fellow Baptism Of Fire competitors but we did not play them. Starblaydia were familiar from the Dragon Cup. Haraki looked as dangerous as a nutter with a nuke in the Baptism of Fire and would be promising dark horses. That apart, it was a Magical Mystery Tour. But everyone was intrigued by Obsidianus, possibly some sort of pyrotechnical region?

So, first match at home to Priggdom. An unknown quantity, and given the way Wentland turned over a few teams in WC26 one not to be taken lightly. Awkward, though, as it was followed by another home match – to the mighty Starblaydia.

The scouting reports on Priggdom were not particularly conclusive. Not that impressive in their Baptism of Fire appearance, two draws and three defeats seeing them come home on the first plane. Not a single goal scored. Freezing up on the big stage? Eight goals conceded. Which, for a team finishing bottom of their group, was not actually that bad, they were never thrashed once. But that suggested they would come to the Sir Kenneth Kendall stadium with a defensive outlook to avoid a major defeat – and who knows if they could nick one with a quick break?

Watching the videos of the Priggdom BoF games Edgar Bluff decided to pick a somewhat attacking line-up. Fortunately his first choice eleven was attack-minded; although lining up in a nominal 4-4-2 Okey was more an attacker than a defender now and could overlap with James along the right, moving almost to 4-3-3 at times, and Kent on the opposite side could sit with the forwards just as easily. Keep it simple, keep bombing down the wings, crosses to Tiny Smith, Treves picking up the knock-downs.

<An image appears on the Television, it looks familiar but you can't quite place it. The theme music also comes on and once again it's familiar both are familiar but different. The following Words appeared on the logo. "ARFA Sports - The Strongest Sports News Around">

The image went away and you see two men in a dark studio. The lights come up... and it's Charles and Darwin, the "Sports Daily - Your fittest for Survival Sport News" hosts have a new Sports TV show. Officially sanctioned as "The Fittest for Survival" by the Atheistic Right Football Association.

They speak.

"And welcome to the first episode of ARFA Sports - The Strongest Sports News Around. I'm Charles" - Charles

"And I'm Darwin. Today We'll be Covering the sports draw for the World Cup Qualifying Matches. How many people in our group Charles?" - Darwin

"Well, including us, 9. 9 in Group 1 of World Cup Qualifing.
Jeruselem, New Montreal States, Druida, Cuation, Collonie, An Archy ,CR Oscilloscopes and Kirstiriera also in the group." - Charles

"Seeing we beat CR Oscilloscopes in the Baptism of Fire Tournament we'd be above them in this group?" - Darwin

"Yes, that's right Darwin. We're place aboved CR Occilloscopes but under An Archy. What an interesting name they have." -Charles

"Not as interesting as Atheisitic Right though. So what about our fixtures who do we face first?" - Darwin

"Well the Archeopteri will be heading off to Cuation for their first game. Though we don't know much about them. We don't even know where the game will be held." - Charles

"Even if we did it would not compare to the wonder of Evolution, Natural Stadium." - Darwin

"It certainly is a one of a kind, but let's have a look at the rankings. Cuation is ranked 145 places above us, unfortunately I have to say we have little chance the Cuation team is just too well adapted for football. " - Charles

"So you reckon we don't have a chance?" - Darwin

"Well, one can never say never. It seems that in World Cup 26, a virtually unknown team calling themselves the Bazalonian Bazalopes *chuckle* drew 1-all with Squornshelous, a team that was ranked 4th at the time. So you never know, you just never know. Let's look at the fixtures for the whole of the Qualifing round of this World Cup" - Charles

A graphic comes up that displays the following list

MD 1: vs. Cuation (Away)
MD 2: vs. An Archy (Home)
MD 3: vs. CR Ocilloscopes (Home)
MD 4: vs. Jerusalem (Home)
MD 5: vs. Druida (Away)
MD 6: vs. Collonie (Home)
MD 7: Bye
MD 8: vs. Kirstiriera (Away)
MD 9: vs. New Mountreal States (Away)

after some time the graphic moved on to...

MD 10: vs. Cuation (Home)
MD 11: vs. An Archy (Away)
MD 12: vs. CR Ocilloscopes (Away)
MD 13: vs. Jerusalem (Away)
MD 14: vs. Druida (Home)
MD 15: vs. Collonie (Away)
MD 16: Bye
MD 17: vs. Kirstiriera (Home)
MD 18: vs. New Mountreal States (Home)

WORLD CUP XXVII PREVIEW
Warriors excited to be in unfamiliar position

Believe it folks. The Praying2God Warriors for the first time are in a position that they are one of the favorites to qualify from their group...assuming the rankings hold true to form. Just ask Turori how accurate those can be at times. It's certainly going to be an interesting qualifying campaign because the Warriors have a couple of teams that could potentially develop into rivals in their group, and they happen to be the main teams expected to challenge the Warriors for a qualifying position. Rejistania and The Archregimancy. Fresh off of their first ever appearance in the WC finals, expectations are higher than they've ever been. Who will the Warriors have to conquer on their way to Bedistan and Fmjphoenix? Let's take a look.


Rejistania (ranked 8th): We haven't heard an official statement from Rejistania stating that the most recent match against the Warriors didn't happen, but it's certainly one that they want to forget, as the Warriors upset them 2-0 in the first match of WC XXVI group play. The Warriors only other match against them was a draw in the JJJ that preceeded WC XXV. Both matches should be very close, well-played, defensive matches. Predicted Finish: 1st

Praying2God (28th): We finally got over the hump in WC XXVI by qualifying for the WC XXVI finals, and have a good chance to do it again in WC XXVII, though we have now become one of the hunted. If we get off to a fast start then we will be extremely tough to deal with, as we typically play better during the second half of qualifying. Our early schedule sets up in a way that should help us get off to a fast start with five of our first six matches being played in the House of Prayer. Predicted Finish: 2nd

The Archregimancy (33rd): Our religious friends from AO should have a pair of competitive matches against us. They were the runner-up when the CoH was in our land, so they're familiar with our nation. We've heard unconfirmed rumors that their monks are looking forward to our predominately female team coming to the dream realm in the second half of qualifying. They have a history of fading down the stretch and just barely missing qualifying for the WC. They should get a chance to redeem themselves in the play-offs this time. Predicted Finish: 3rd

Rordia (57th): They've been around for a couple of WCs, but haven't made a lot of noise thus far. They drew a tough assignment for trying to make any noise in this WC, with one of the best teams in the world accompanied by two teams on the rise. The Warriors have to be careful not to overlook them as a contender, though, as stranger things have happened in the WC. Predicted Finish: 4th

Swilatia (69th): Another team that's apparently been around for a couple of WCs, but hasn't really made much noise. The Warriors can't afford to overlook them, but they should be able to take the full six points from them. Predicted Finish: 6th

Bazalonia (112th): We're going to assume that their media wasn't paying attention during WC XXVI, otherwise they'd know who we are. Their team probably knows, though. If not, they'll get a rude awakening. They are a dangerous team that could potentially surprise some people. Predicted Finish: 5th

New Preussen (171st): Apparently a WC newcomer, as they aren't somebody that we recognize. They should be an easy six points, but one can't be too overconfident or it'll come back to bite you. Predicted Finish: 7th

Popolus (201st): Another WC newcomer, and apparently somebody who didn't have a great deal of success in the BoF either. They should be an easy six points. Predicted Finish: 9th

The Footie Dream Team (211th): The only dreaming they're going to do is dreaming about winning, as they certainly won't win many matches on the field. Predicted Finish: 8th


Other storylines to follow during WC XXVII qualifying:

The return of The Belmore Family (how many goals will Alan Belmore score in his return?)
How will Sarzonia react now that they are no longer the #1 team in the world? (especially after getting drawn into the same group as Krytenia)
Which of the surprise teams in WC XXVI were one-hit wonders and which are the real thing?
With the absence of System Karela, who will become the low-ranked team that nobody can score against?

"Grouping the Predictions" by Nev Gould

With the release of the Group Draw and the Bazalopes falling into 6th seed in Group 6 and the fixtures. A team of computer scientists and soccer fanatics have predicted the following results for all the fixtures for the Bazalopes.

Match Day 1: Away at Swilatia win 35%, draw 45%, lose 15%
Match Day 2: Away at New Preussen win 68%, draw 25%, loss 7%
Match Day 3: Home against The Footy Dream Team win 100%
Match Day 4: Home against Praying2God Loss 78%, draw 19%, win 3%
Match Day 5: Away at Rordia win 20% draw 35% loss 45%
Match Day 6: Bye
Match Day 7: Home against Popolus win 95% draw 5%
Match Day 8: Homes against Rejistania loss 98% draw 2%
Match Day 9: Away at The Archregimancy loss 80% draw 18% win 2%

Match Day's 10-18 are virtually identical... just a few minor percentage changes... not much really.

-------------

Press Release - Soccer World Release & Launch Event

After nearly going bankrupt after an incident happened during the CoH with EG Inc Soccer World MMO that was planed for release. EG Inc has finally been able to release Soccer World. Servers have been set up in Bazalonia as well as in a large number of nations world-wide. To help in the promotion of their new game EG Inc have announced Soccer World Online Cup, a competition between players of the MMO with teams that are themed upon real life soccer teams utilising the games skill and class system to duplicate all areas and aspects of modern soccer. The teams are not only based on real life soccer teams but will also be played around the same time and using the same scheduling as the real world cup. The Distributors "Game Distributors of Bazalonia" are said to be happy with the uptake of their game so far.

Deadbolt Sentinel - Sports
Jury out on group draw

Stiff opposition seems to be the name of the game this time round for the Minutemen - drawn into group 10 as the sixth seeds, we face Cup of Harmony winners Hockey Canada and the team they beat in that same competition in Casari, and World Cup 18 finalists Kaza Progressa on top of them. Also, we have been drawn against Majeristan, who are being viewed as our 'team to beat' if we are to advance to Bedistan and Fmjphoenix.

However, make note of the fact that there are three teams noticeably lower in the seedings than we are, and that both Crna Gora Liv Eng and Magnus Valerius are both technically ranked at 211; this is, however, down to their declination of a spot in the Baptism of Fire tournament. One fan - wearing Damon Arnaud's number three shirt - said 'Yeah, we've got to beat everyone who's ranked under us at least, and probably a couple of the guys above n'all.'

Many fans will be pleased to know that we did avoid Audioslavia and Sarzonia - the Stars, no longer kings of the footballing world, ranked fourth in this tournament - as these teams have traditionally been viewed as the best in the world (in spite of results and tournament finishes). A full listing of the group stage games can be found below:

MD01: @ Majeristan
MD02: @ Imperial Moose
MD03: vs. Magnus Valerius
MD04: vs. Casari
MD05: @ Harlseburg
MD06: Bye
MD07: vs. Crna Gora Liv Eng
MD08: vs. Hockey Canada
MD09: @ Kaze Progressa

MD10: vs. Majeristan
MD11: vs. Imperial Moose
MD12: @ Magnus Valerius
MD13: @ Casari
MD14: vs. Harlesburg
MD15: Bye
MD16: @ Crna Gora Liv Eng
MD17: @ Hockey Canada
MD18: vs. Kaze Progressa

Our View: We are going to have to take chances whenever they appear, simply put. While the draw may seem beneficial - a bye before the two biggest games, namely those at Hockey Canada and here against Kaze Progressa, and being able to play our last game in front of our own fans - we play most of the weaker teams early on. It's our opinion that if we aren't already qualified by the end of Matchday 16, there's the distinct possibility that we will not be going to the finals.

In other news, the McPsychoville Football Association have recently contacted Stablaydi company Ediraf with a view to ordering new kits for the team. No deal has been finalised as of yet.

The Schiavone Scribe
Tough ride ahead

Well, Schiavonia had the longest wait possible for their World Cup 27 Qualifying draw. Not only because it was held in the middle of the night local time, but also down to the fact that the Sloths have been put into Group 12. And it isn't going to be all plain sailing either.

Despite a solid run to the finals of World Cup 26, and beating the Liverpool England Ignoramuses (Ignorami?) once they were there, there are many who believe that Schiavonia are going to be a one-cup wonder.

To be fair, most of those who think that way actually live in Schiavonia, but that's not the point. The point is that the draw is a tough one, and the team will have to prove themselves if they want to make it through.

Remember, top two go through automatically, the third placed teams go into play-offs. Whether they'll be dome hte Schiavone way (best record v Worst record, 2nd best v 2nd worst and so on) remains to be seen.

Anyway, here's our tough group.

San Adriano (World Ranking: Unranked)
What better way to start off your qualifying campaign than against a team in their first ever international? Experience and nerves should get the better of the Sloths' little known opponents here.

Bye (World Ranking: None, ignoramus)
Mathcday Two sees the Sloths have a day off... wait, we're the second seeds? What the hell happened there?

Kericia (World Ranking: 56)
Following in the theme that anyone can make it, Kericia are our opponents on matchday three. Despite being ranked 27 places below Schiavonia, the team have a lot more experience than ours, so it's all set up for a couple of interesting games when we meet. Could be entertaining, undoubtedly tight.

Apologetic Kittens (World Ranking: 83)
One of the few teams to have actually beaten Schiavonia over ninety minutes in an international match, the Li'l Cats found it tough going once they hit the real thing during World Cup 26, and have fallen back into the pack. No, wait, pack's a collective term for wolves, not cats. Ah, whatever they're called... Anyway, the sloths will be gunning for revenge.

Spaamanian Plijous (World Ranking: 201)
What a stupid name. We thought that Spaaming only happened during reports from World Cup 12, but apparently it is still happening with nation names in this part of the empire. Will be laughed at as much for their lack of footballing skill as Schiavone manager Rodney Lowe will be when he tries to pronounce it.

Squornshelous (World Ranking: 11)
Group favourites, on the basis that they're not as hopeless as the rest of the teams. Should win by a country mile. Or a city mile, depending on where you're reading this. Surely it doesn't actually matter, a mile's a mile in anyone's book?

The Islands Of Qutar (World Ranking: 30)
An almost exact replica of what the Sloths have done, Qutar, despite winning the Baptism of Fire that Schiavonia played in, have never beaten the Orange and Scarlet in all of their one previous meeting. Still, we'd consider them friends, and we'll not be too disheartened of they do better than us. But we'd love it if we beat them, and showed them who should[/] have won that BoF!

The Macabees [i](World Ranking: 67)
Another team who are taking the more traditional slow rise to the top, as opposed to the Schiavonia/Qutar method. So they should be less likely to suffer from burning out. Expect the Golden Throne to go close.

Jon Parkin (World Ranking: 171)
Finally come Jon Parkin. And his ten team mates, I guess. So, after a nice easy start, the ending is relatively easy, too. But then this side shouldn't be underestimated, either. It's taken them goddamn ages just to get this far, so they'll be looking to make the most of it.

So, where will Schiavonia finish? Well, after plumping for a target of fifth place last time, manager Rodney Lowe was slightly more optimistic this time.

"Fourth. We're going for fourth place. Squornshelous will run away with the group, while the next four of five ranked teams will be at eash other's throats all the way through. So fourth would be nice."

He knows how to get the people's hopes up, doesn't he?

Other news was that Michael Ford was ordered to stay at home instead of attending the draw on behalf of the SFF, on the basis that he can't be trusted to leave the country on his own without bad-mouthing wherever he's going.

What follows are the views of Jeremy Jaffacake, not myself.
http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt
Stern Test for Slaves

The 'slaves, suprisingly seeded for the World Cup 27 qualifiers, were thrown into group nine in yesterdays draw to face a selection of teams that, while not having an excessive rivalry with Audioslavia, still represent a sturdy barrier between us and Befumdge*.

The draw looks like this:

Audioslavia (15)
Fresh from public humiliation in Oliverry with the team's heavy defeat, and subsequent elimination, from World Cup 26, Audioslavia come into these qualifiers with lower expectations, but with the need to redeem themselves. Audioslavia are always expected to qualify and, barring disaster, they should at least take second spot. For a team with Audioslavia's unrivalled record in qualifying for World Cups, anything less is abject failure.

Commerce Heights (24)
Commerce Heights fared little better in the previous World Cup and have never really looked like the sort of side that took the World Cup home fifty years ago. Of course, they're not to be disregarded as colossal also-rans - the world made that mistake with Liverpool England ten years ago - and are short odds to progress in either of the top two places. Commerce Heights will be aiming for top spot, but given their current form, a winning ride through the playoffs would be a welcome journey.

Nedalia (31)
After being also-rans in the last two World Cups and struggling to find their feet, the Nedalians are in their best position to qualify for their first tournament since World Cup 24. However, it may not be that easy. They may appear to be just seven places below rivals Commerce Heights in the rankings but the Nedalian players, on closer inspection, do seem to be a class below the CH team, and the Audioslavian team for that matter. How many Nedalians would make it into the Commerce Heights first eleven? Two? Three? Less? One thing Nedalia do have, however, is teamwork, and heart, and plenty of it. They're not called the Lions for nothing, of course, and if their gritty performances in their only previous World Cup show anything, its that they're capable of taking any team to the limit; they just can't beat them while they're doing it. Still, they should definately be aiming for a top spot, but a playoff place would be welcomed.

Chicanada (50)
Audioslavia have been mis-spelling this nation as 'Chicanda' for twenty years. We won't do that ever again...
The Chicanda juggarnaut is still chugging along, but is appears the engine has been replaced by a team of wheel-bound asthmatic hamsters. Consistent failures in their attempts to qualify for the Greatest Show on Earth have taken its toll and its with an under strengthed side and a beligured fan-base that they find themselves in this group. Their suprisingly low ranking may act as a kick up the arse for Chicandese football, but it'll have to be a timely enough, and hard enough kick, if they're going to get anyway. The playoffs are almost over their heads; they'll be in reach if only they can get a leg-up.

Ariddia (62)
Bienvenue indeed, bitches. What can you say about Ariddia that hasn't been said before? Answer: They're a top team, have great players and don't get humiliated at their own sport week in week out...
Ariddia are generally credited with inventing and exporting the modern game, as well as its flagship tournament, but the side have never been world beaters even in their prime. This time around, with the side still on the long, hard road out of hell, it won't be any different. A gargantuan effort could see the side feasibly get a spot in the playoffs, and results against the top two sides could even put them within well-thrown-baguette distance of the automatic qualification spots, but the reality is they'll probably just have to make do with another fourth place to sit in until WC28 rolls around.

Pedriana (147)
Well looky here! Now this is a familiar name. Sort of like running into someone from your old school who you never talked to, but always saw in class. Of course, Pedriana would have been the ones having their dinner money pinched off them by the older kids, but hey. They're here, they're looking for a bit of glory and, of course, they won't get it. You should be able to rely on this lot for a few upsets, even if it only comes from having no money to buy lunch.

Kelse (135)
Berner Street (201)
Ocmeoub (211)

These three nations have largely fallen under the Audioslavian football radar, but then even the most popular footballing nations do that from time to time. In theory, these teams should occupy the bottom four spots along with Pedriana, but after the amount of upsets last time out, who's to know? All we know is that Ocmeoub is completely unpronounceable.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.

The Enlightener - 3rd March 2006 - We're Beautiful Together[/u]
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

FAB Say Farewell to Takil

The Football Association of Bettia has announced that Laxhu Takil, the Rejistanian coach who led the Aroras to the World Cup quarter-finals and the Cup of Harmony final, has returned home after serving the Blessed Realm for two years.

The chairman of the FAB Islwyn Forbes took the opportunity to thank Mr Takil for the fine work he has done, as he told a packed news conference "We would like to express our sincerest thanks to Mr Takil for the fine work he has done."

Although officially the parting seems amicable enough, rumours abound that Takil was extremely upset over Bettia's capitulation to Fmjphoenix in the previous World Cup qualifying campaign, as well as the 4-0 drubbing suffered at the hands of Turori in the Cup of Harmony final.

Bettia's new manager has been named as former Aroras star striker and manager of newly-crowned champions Gabalfa Rovers, Stuart Abdul-Rahim. When asked for his reaction to the group draw, he responded "It's an extremely tough draw for us. Theoretically, any two from the top five seeds could go through, although I'd be very surprised if Total n Utter Insanity didn't finish top."

When asked what tactics he'll be employing, he said "Well, our all-out attacking style didn't work out too well last time. But will we be giving that up for a more balanced approach? Will we bollocks! With a bit of tweaking here and there, I am confident that we'll employ an even more attacking approach than before. Hopefull, fans can expect to see plenty of goals in our games - which way those goals go remains to be seen."

Bettia kick off the World Cup in Akani Sands, where they face newcomers The New Chakovnia, followed by a trip up the M1 to face Nanakaland in Sukatra. Matchday seven sees Ceffinton's Heol Angharyd ground host The Kazoo Peoples, with the showpiece showdown against TnUI taking place on matchday fifteen at the national stadium. Bettia's last home match will be played against The Weegies at Docklands Park, which has just seen its capacity expanded to 81,500, reflecting CPDP's domestic success.

Ironically enough, Porthbalfa is situated just a stone's throw from Bettia's border with Bedistan - will Bettia's road to the World Cup finals end here? Only time will tell...


MD01: BETTIA vs The New Chakovnia (Shubunkin Park, Akani Sands)
MD02: Day Off
MD03: BETTIA vs Nanakaland (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD04: Tynelia vs BETTIA
MD05: BETTIA vs Algal States (Thamitra Gate, Tamrida)
MD06: Total n Utter Insanity vs BETTIA
MD07: BETTIA vs The Kazoo Peoples (Heol Angharyd, Ceffinton)
MD08: The Weegies vs BETTIA
MD09: BETTIA vs Risa-Aramour (Stamping Ground, Lorshill)
MD10: The New Chakovnia vs BETTIA
MD11: Day Off
MD12: Nanakaland vs BETTIA
MD13: BETTIA vs Tynelia (Campus Ground, Grappenhall)
MD14: Algal States vs BETTIA
MD15: BETTIA vs Total n Utter Insanity (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD16: The Kazoo Peoples vs BETTIA
MD17: BETTIA vs The Weegies (Docklands Park, Porthbalfa)
MD18: Risa-Aramour vs BETTIA

“Welcome to the special pairings edition of Tynelian Soccer Weekly. As always this is Sal Spikeman accompanied by Anna Dalespin as we look at the path ahead for the Tynelian national squad in its attempt to qualify for the 27th World Cup. To get those of you who may have missed it here is the grouping for Tynelia’s bracket. Group 2 in this huge event.”


Total n Utter Insanity (5)
Bettia (27)
The Kazoo Peoples (45)
Nanakaland (53)
The Weegies (65)
Tynelia (135)
Risa-Aramour (163)
Algal states (193)
The New Chakovnia (211)

“Looking things over Anna, what’s your opinion on how things looks?”

“Well Sal, the draw could have been much worse for Tynelia. Looking at the teams in our bracket you’ll see that we have the lowest combined ranked team for the #2 and 3 seeds of any of the other groups. While Total n Utter Insanity, fifth in the world and third seed for the entire tournament, should be pleased to see their group pairings there isn’t that much all things considering to separate the 2nd through 5th seeds. That means lots of close games and probably a few splits in the group.”

“And how do you think Tynelia will match up against these higher seeded teams?”

“I think we might surprise a few people. While it was just an exhibition game, Tynelia did manage a draw with the 64th rank Legalese team. Of course as an exhibition I’m sure the Legalese team didn’t go all out. What Tynelia has to do is take as many points as they can from the three teams ranked below them and hope to steal enough from the ones above them to move on.”

“Do you think that’s possible?”

“One thing about the draw is that Tynelia will have a good idea of how it will fare right off the bat. If you notice we play the first game against The Weegies, who are ranked right behind the Legalese squad. This will be a good test to start with, a game that Tynelia might be able to get a point from against a higher ranked squad yet not one of the group elite. If Tynelia can come away with even a draw here that will be a big momentum boost for the next two games. Both Risa-Aramour and The New Chakovnia are winnable games for Tynelia. Ironically the Risa-Aramour game will be a match between two teams the Green Wombats beat in succession on their way to their third place finish in the Baptism of Fire. But if Tynelia can come away with at least two wins out of these three games, their longshot bid will at least be something that is still possible. A good showing there will encourage the team by the time they face Bettia in game 4.

“It also helps that Tynelia will play two of the top three teams in the last two games of group play. It is conceivable that both the Kazoo People and Total n Utter Insanity may have clinched spots to advance by then and may rest some of their starters in what to them would be a meaningless game. That might enable Tynelia to steal some points they wouldn’t have a shot at otherwise.”

“ Good points as always Anna. Now what about Coach O’Meara’s decisions to expand his roster for this tournament?”

“I think this was a move he should have done even for the Baptism of Fire. You could tell near the end that some players were beginning to wear down. With this tournament being far longer, O’Meara had to add more players to the team. In fact I think he didn’t go far enough.”

“How so Anna? There are a pair of backups at defense and forward with three additional midfielders?”

“I think he needed to add at least one more across the board, that way an entire lineup could be rested rather than force one regular in at all times. I do agree with his decision on the keepers though. Given their performances in the BoF Vladimar Malloy and Amy Whiteworth have shown themselves up to the challenge and O’meara should be able to mix them in as needed to keep them both fresh and sharp.”

“Now Anna, during the Baptism of Fire you constantly worried about the lack of scoring on team Tynelia’s part. And we all saw the breakdown that took place when Coach O’meara tried to get more aggressive. Looking over the roster O’Meara seems to have gone even more defensive minded. Will this be a big problem for Tynelia?”

“I expect it will be a serious issue for the Tynelian squad. One goal a game wasn’t enough in the BoF and against tougher competition you can’t count on the Wall throwing up shutouts every game. Bret Brantley and Lynn Evans will help some but there was some surprise that a stronger attacker wasn’t included. However, this does reflect back on what Coach O’Meara said after the BoF had ended.”

“You mean about recommitting to what got them as far as they went?”

“Exactly, O’Meara rightly saw that defense was the team’s strong point and getting away from it proved to be a bad idea. With that in mind I think he made sure he had enough defensive help in place and only then looked to the offense. In a way it makes sense. As a new entrant in the world sporting stage Tynelia will be a bit cautious at first trying to adapt to a more high paced world play. The best way to adapt to that is to go into a bit of a cocoon and make the other team overwork in trying to get by the defense and take advantage of any turnovers to attack. The concern will be if by thinking too defensively, Coach O’Meara will be damaging the offense.”

“With people like Brad Collins and Jay Masterson on the team I don’t think the offense will be completely forgotten Anna. Those are the two most aggressive players in the Tynelian league. I think this is a solid move by Coach O’Meara. It will take time to get used to this higher level of play and by looking to defense he’s probably hoping to neutralize the advantage the more experienced teams have.”

“We’ll find out soon enough Sal. The first games begin tomorrow.”

“Right you are Anna. And with that in mind we’d like to announce here that tomorrow’s regularly scheduled episode of the hit show Knitting with the Stars will be pre-empted for live coverage of the Tynelia/Weegies opening game of group play. Afterwards Tynelian Sooccer Weekly will be back with the first of its special daily coverage of the World Cup for as long as Tynelia can hang in there. Until then this is Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

<credits roll over a repackaged highlight montage of Tynelian soccer during the Baptism of Fire>

Jeruselem Government News

World Cup XXVII draw is out!

Group 1
Jeruselem (14)
New Montreal States (22)
Druida (46)
Cuation (48)
Collonie (78)
An Archy (134)
Atheistic Right (193)
CR Oscilloscopes (205)
Kirstiriera (211)

This is the first time Jeruselem have been seeded in the top 20 as we are 14th seed and the highest seed as well. The main threats will be New Montreal States, Druida and Cuation. No "super-nasties" in this group because this time we are the "super-nasty" of this group.

We fully expect the top two to be us and the New Montreal States. Druida and Cuation should be competitive all the way but Collonie could spring a few upsets too.

For some reason, lower ranked teams tend to have "long really hard to spell' names. We don't know how to say Kirstiriera properly.

Group 7
Liverpool England (2)
Turori (26)
The Lowland Clans (42)
Yafor 2 (49)
Rolatia (77)
Allied Anime Worlds (117)
Mr Chuck Norris (187)
TheSuncoastofFlorida (199)
The Belmore Family (211)

We are only interested in the Liverpool England vs Mr Chuck Norris games here. Terminator vs Chuck Norris is a promoters dream for a soccer game and think of all ad material someone could create.

Group 9
Audioslavia (15)
Commerce Heights (24)
Nedalia (31)
Chicanada (50)
Ariddia (62)
Kelse (135)
Pedriana (147)
Berner Street (201)
Ocmeoub (211)

Nedalia's group! Audioslavia and Commerce Heights are the obvious favourites but Chicanada cannot discounted. In this pack, Nedalia should do well as long they stop losing to lower teams. They missed in the WC26 on the last day, so this is the time to get ROARING.

All the Lions need to do is be good against Audioslavia and Commerce Heights and win the games against the lower teams. Simply strategy. Chicanada and Ariddia cannot be written off at all as they are improving each World Cup.

Group 10
Hockey Canada (10)
Casari (21)
Kaze Progressa (37)
Harlesburg (52)
Majeristan (70)
McPsychoville (108)
Imperial Moose (193)
Crna Gora Liv Eng (211)
Magnus Valerius (211)

Canucks are 10th seed. Like Jeruselem WC26 was good for them. Honestly we don't see Casari, Kaze Progressa or Harlesburg as super-dangerous to them. These three teams will be competitive and expect close games since the Canucks really like System Karela tactics.

The Canuck key is good defense unlike Jeruselem's point end of a sharp stick approach. If they play like WC26, no problems. If the other teams can get their offense together, then they can challenge but these team do not have the scoring firepower of a WC26 FMJPhoenix or Jeruselem team.

Don't ring JGN about Crna Gora Liv Eng being related to Liverpool England, ring the World Cup 27 organisers.

The predictions:
Popolus (201st): Another WC newcomer, and apparently somebody who didn't have a great deal of success in the BoF either. They should be an easy six points. Predicted Finish: 9th


The pradictions are false, the Popolus team is a great new power to the game. The players are fit and ready for action, thay have been practising for a long time and they are up to the challenge. The team was set up and posted in the tread not a long time ago.

Group 6
Rejistania (8)
Praying2God (28)
The Archregimancy (33)
Rordia (57)
Swilatia (69)
Bazalonia (112)
New Preussen (171)
Popolus (201)
The Footie Dream Team (211)

The people od Popolus have a great confidence in their team, they are thinking positive.
The nation is on their side.

Pop times

"Well the Archeopteri will be heading off to Cuation for their first game. Though we don't know much about them. We don't even know where the game will be held." - Charles


OC: roster on page 3

In the Cuation FA, someone had tuned onto the Archeopteri TV and couldn't belive his ears. The secetary of State checked the TV rosters of the team and it flicked up the Sea Dragons. An annoying mistake but it would be unfair for Cuation team not to be able to destroy this new team. So he sent a description to the Archeopteri FA:


Southern Island Peaks

An all seater modern stadium, retractable roof, special look is the old clock on the West bank. Capacity of 40,000, seats the colour of the national team. On the hot southern island ruled by General Jared, brother of the ruler Jude to gain him goodwill, the heat and sudden rain can be off putting. Beside a rushing river, quite a few ball boys have never returned from going in the river which is called "Catincoa death."

Guides where also sent to help the away fans find the home of Cuation football.

Cuation Draw 1!

Well in World Cup 27, Cuation will be in group one for a shot at going past the qualfying stages at the third attempt. Having won the BoF then got to the semi's in the Cup of Harmony in the first year, the next season was a blow. In a pretty easy group, Cuation failed to grab the chance, finishing third bt milaes behind the top two. Knocked out in the second round of the Cup of Harmony, this has been followed by a very poor pre season, 13th out of 16.

With so many players coming past their peak, the manager has changed to 4-4-2, attacking football. Teams used to the rough long ball style played by Cuation before may be suprised but will the gamble work or will the inconsistancy of the team ensure a third failure?

The top two of each group will go through and the third place teams go into the playoffs. Being fourth place might be better then going out in the playoffs, to be so close and still go out over two matches. Ouch.

Jeruselem (14)
New Montreal States (22)
Druida (46)
Cuation (48)
Collonie (78)
An Archy (134)
Atheistic Right (193)
CR Oscilloscopes (205)
Kirstiriera (211)

Jeruselem (14)
A strong attacking side who should finish top of the group, they will look to keep in the top twenty of the world. Maybe the heady heights of 14th will give them a shock? Expect two defeats against this lot.

New Montreal States (22)
Another good side, looking to break into the top twenty. Should easily roll into second place. Will no doubt control the midfield in most games though a lack of defence might leave them open to an upset. We might just grab a point

Druida (46)
Once a grea team, tragic circumstances have seen them fall down the ranks. Expect them to fight for third place and knowing us, they will get it. We will hopefully take four points but in the end, they will party, not us.

Cuation (48)
Risen through the rankings but morale is low. Fourth place after nearly finishing 6th should fit us

Collonie (78)
Good side who will create some upsets but will finish 5th in the end. Too good for some, not good enough to go through but only just. Two or three points will do us.

An Archy (134)
Once a promising side, they are not the team they there when both Cuation and Archy went through the BoF. Six points after hard matches, the fans will love a team that took its first steps with Cuation. First time we have ever faced them, they will finish 7th

Atheistic Right (193)
Second round of the BoF was as far as they got but they should not be underestimated. 3-4-3 may prove difficult for Cuation to handle, two points is our best bet. Will finish 6th

CR Oscilloscopes (205)
A team without width and one that failed to get past the group stage in the Bof. Will just stay of the bottom and will look to benfit from Cuation's poor record against weaker teams. One point

Kirstiriera (211)
Wooden spoon and four points for us.

First Match!

A home game against new comers, this would seem ideal to gain points and morale. Atheistic Right however will no doubt prove a challenge for a team in transition. Can the former BoF winners fend off this challenge? Paper would say yes, form says a draw. Cuation have a habit of struggling against, hat could be viewed as, lesser teams while raising themselves against giants.

Word is that Atheistic Right, whose players seem to have code names, are realistic but hopeful of an upset. If they do not let the hard tackles from CVuation put them off then they may just ride the challenge and grab some points.

My guess? A close match but expirence tells, Cuation snatching a 1-0 win.

The Boyars A.K.A. Pavlov's Dogs to Duke it Out in WC27 As the Drawn Groups are Established

At long last, the groups have been seeded and all of the teams to participate in WC27 are ready to roll. It is quite possible that qualifying can be anyone's game, especially in Group 10.

Group 10
Hockey Canada (10)
Casari (21)
Kaze Progressa (37)
Harlesburg (52)
Majeristan (70)
McPsychoville (108)
Imperial Moose (193)
Crna Gora Liv Eng (211)
Magnus Valerius (211)

Hockey Canada and Casari are the favorites of the group, with Kaze Progressa also capable of easily qualifying. Magnus Valerius, after a long hiatus from the international football scene, has become rather unknown once again and must work to establish itself amongst the world teams once again.

"What? I've never heard of Magnus Valerius in soccer!" said an obnoxious tourist at Primets Beach, west of the important port city of Trentino. "They might as well give up... go Canucks!"

As we can see, we have proved the point that we have made: Magnus Valerius's team, The Boyars, will have to work hard to enter the limelight once again, and coach Ilya Pavlov is doing his best in preparing the national team for competition. Pavlov is an accredited coach, whose name has spawned the national team's nickname of 'Pavlov's Dogs'.

The facilities for the home games have also been chosen. The three different facilities are the Tsar's Bowl in the capital city, Isangrad, the Seaside Dome in Alexandria, and the Nikeah Bowl in Nikeah. An in-depth review of each facility will come up when they are used.

So far, the gaming schedule for Magnus Valerius is as follows:


MD01: Casari v. Magnus Valerius
MD02: Magnus Valerius v. Harlesburg @ Seaside Dome, ALEXANDRIA
MD03: McPsychoville v. Magnus Valerius
MD04: Magnus Valerius v. Crna Gora Liv Eng @ Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD
MD05: Hockey Canada v. Magnus Valerius
MD06: Magnus Valerius v. Kaze Progressa @ Nikeah Bowl, NIKEAH
MD07: Majeristan v. Magnus Valerius
MD08: Magnus Valerius v. Imperial Moose @ Seaside Dome, ALEXANDRIA
MD09: Free Day
MD10: Magnus Valerius v. Casari @ Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD
MD11: Harlesburg v. Magnus Valerius
MD12: Magnus Valerius v. McPsychoville @ Nikeah Bowl, NIKEAH
MD13: Crna Gora Liv Eng v. Magnus Valerius
MD14: Magnus Valerius v. Hockey Canada @ Seaside Dome, ALEXANDRIA
MD15: Kaze Progressa v. Magnus Valerius
MD16: Magnus Valerius v. Majeristan @ Tsar's Area, ISANGRAD
MD17: Imperial Moose v. Magnus Valerius
MD18: Free Day

Ariddia faces “definite challenge”

Drawn in group 9, the Rouge-et-Noirs are only the fifth highest-ranked in their group, suggesting a tough road ahead to make it into the top three.

“At least we already know several of our opponents,” team coach Adam Seul said. “We’ve already played against Audioslavia, Chicanada and Nedalia. Yes, we lost all our matches against all three of them, but we learnt from it, and hopefully this time we’ll be better prepared to tackle these opponents.”

Ariddia’s opening game will be on home ground against Kelse, a nation listed just below the Rouge-et-Noirs, which Seul says is a good thing.

“On paper, we should be able to beat them. If we do, it’ll be good for morale. More importantly, this game may well set the tone for our performance throughout the Cup. If we can do well, we’ll be off to a good start. If we find ourselves struggling against Kelse, it’ll give us an idea of the extent of the efforts we still need to make.”

Seul also claimed that playing against Audioslavia again would be “interesting”, without commenting further. Clément, al Jahdali and Kitenge all play in Audioslavian clubs, but the high-ranking nation will bring back more negative memories for one of the Rouge-et-Noirs. During a previous encounter, midfielder Wol Eosh was detained at immigration while entering Audioslavia, and confined to quarantine with caged animals. Ms. Eosh was not available for comment regarding how she feels about travelling to Audioslavia again.


AFA joins Archregimancy in condemning Chuck Norris squad

The Ariddian Football Association has joined the Monastic Football Association of the Archregimancy in condemning the inclusion of young Hrakastani national Baka Laka Daka Raka in the squad for the oddly-named nation of Mr. Chuck Norris.

“This violates clearly established rules,” AFA President Anna Teals said. “Mr. Raka must not be allowed to play.”

Princess Serena to travel to Schiavonia

Dozens amongst tiny San Adriano’s four hundred inhabitants stayed up to watch the draw live, which placed them in group 12, as the only unranked team therein. The Sanadrianese, however, do not seem particularly bothered at the idea of finishing dead last.

“We’re just a small country,” one excited citizen said, “but now we’re going to be playing against the world!”

The mood in the Sovereign Village does seem to be one of elation as people prepare to watch and cheer on their national side. Many have said they intend to cross the border and travel to the somewhat inaptly named Sanadrianese National Stadium in Uhuh-Topia, to attend the team’s “home” matches. Supporters expect to be vastly outnumbered even during home games, but are determined their presence will not go unnoticed. Supporters will be carrying large Sanadrianese flags, and encouraging their players, whom many in the village know personally.

Adding to the excitement was the announcement by the Royal Palace that Princess Serena, the small nation’s ruling monarch, will be travelling to Schiavonia to attend San Adriano’s first ever international match. It is not yet known whether the Princess will be granted a full State welcome by the Schiavonian authorities, but she has promised she will, in any case, be present in the stadium to watch her fellow villagers play.

To: Nicholas the Scribe, The Archregimancy
From: Kansu & Kansu

Hejida Scribe'he,

We are lawyers from Hanin kalese, KaMaRi kali, KaMaRi nanti, Rejistania. We are specialized in libel Lawsuits and among our clients is the Asene Sekhika Rejistaniha, the soccer association of Rejistania. You have called the national team in your latest publication 'takelan'. This is a serious insult since takelan means to emphasize on both attack and defense with neglecting the midfield. The "Orange-Blues" are Jesejilan or Karelan depending on the definition, surely not takelan or takilan. This case will be delegated to the authorities in your nation if there is no apology and correction. According to your law: "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." (Ten Commandments) we see that libel in your nation is prosecuted.

Va'il veka,
Ita Kansu, lawyer

ASR demands clarification on Baka Laka Daka Raka

Teke Daran, president of the ASR, said his judgement of the situation of Raka'he would depend on whether he became citizen of both Mr Chuck Norris and Hrakastan. If the publications just omitted that, there is no problem at all for him to play for Mr Chuck Norris, especially seeing Hrakastan never participated in an international soccer tournament. If he however is no citizen of Mr Chuck Norris, there is no reason that he should be allowed to play for them.

GROUP 5 DRAWN

The islanders have been drawn into group 5 where they will face both
Crystilakere and Spruitland, both favourites at this point in the group.
In terms of rankings the Islanders are third and many across Cataduanes and the UNFR region will be hoping that this will be reflected by performances on the fields of play.

Group 5
Crystilakere (12)
Spruitland (23)
Cataduanes (40)
Tonissia (59)
Anathematic Republics (79)
Dance 2 Revolution (86)
The Solar Association (187)
Nebuleux (209)
UN Peacekeepers (211)

Coach Manua expressed his satisfaction with the draw, and many pundits are confident of picking up points. As the qualifaction stage of the WC is almost upon us and the excitement is building up rapidly and many across the UNFR are hoping that the Islanders can go one better this time round.

Haraki's head coach looked at the list in front of him with some manner of both awe and disgust. It was the piece of paper listing the teams they would be facing for two or three qualifying spots. Their group, Group 8.

Starblaydia (7)
Oliverry (19)
Wentland (43)
Spaam (51)
East Lithuania (71)
Haraki (117)
Obsidianus (163)
Priggdom (207)
Shing-Shang (211)



Of course he was afraid of playing Starblaydia, Oliverry or Wentland. Spaam, too. They were all, with the exception of Spaam, ranked in the top 50 in the world, while Haraki managed to sneak by with a ranking of 117th after the Baptism of Fire. Still, both Spaam and Wentland were only ranked about five or six times better than Haraki's team, and thus were technically able to be beaten. East Lithuania was a closer margin, and then came the unranked or very poor teams, including two from the Baptism of Fire that Haraki had beaten or not faced and one who had not even entered it.

Looking at the rosters, he figured if they got very lucky, they could manage a qualifying spot. If they racked up goals versus the worse teams and managed a lot of lucky or skillful wins against not only those ranked lower than them but also higher, they might be able to squeak by as number 29 or 30 for the qualifying. If they got lucky.

At least, he figured, they weren't in Liverpool England's group. The last time Haraki had reached the semi-finals, all those years ago, it was Liverpool England that beat them in extra time, and forced them into the game for 3rd. Now they wouldn't have to worry about facing the 2nd-place team in the world for anything, unless they actually did qualify and make it all the way to facing LE after that. Which seemed highly unlikely in the circumstances.

If Starblaydia and Oliverry consistently beat both Wentland and Spaam, and maybe some of the lower teams also managed a lucky victory against those ranked over 100th, then if Haraki pulled off some victories in flukes of chance, luck or skill versus those ranked higher than them, they could sneak by. All in all, it would take a lot of practicing.

"All right!" he shouted, standing up and making his way into the locker room for all the others. "List's up. Take a look, then meet me on the field in ten minutes for some practice."

Falcons face expectations

TIKIRA -- One World Cup removed from their debut, the Majeristani national team have faced a round of expectations normally reserved for a side like The Kazoo Peoples, who advanced to the Finals in their first go. After playing two draws and a hard-fought loss in four matches against the two highest-ranked sides coming into the previous World Cup and earning four points out of six against Hypocria, the Falcons are looking for bigger and better things.

"We were a few plays away from being in the finals ourselves," midfielder Osiris Benoit said. "We managed four points in two matches against [Hypocria], so we know we can play with the big teams. We just have to gain some consistency."

Having already faced the firing line in their first go, the Falcons know they can't afford to have the same problems they did in their first World Cup. With two young goalkeepers and a youthful midfield and forwards, the team again looks to lean heavily on a well-heeled defensive unit, but critics say Coach Ha'time I. Ra~e let his defence grow too old too fast.

"We need to develop some depth because we have one or two guys who by all rights should be playing masters' football," one columnist wrote. "There is a risk that our old defence will break down at the wrong time and we'll have players out of position trying to compensate."

"I went with the best players who gave us the best opportunity to win," Ra~e said. "These are the guys we're going to count on. We have a tough group we're playing in and we're going to need to get points wherever we can."

The teams the Falcons will face in their second World Cup include a Hockey Canada side that snapped Sarzonia's four Cup streak of advancing to the semifinals, Casari, Kaze Progressa, and Harlesburg. The Falcons are saying privately their best chance to steal points from the teams ahead of them will be Kaze Progressa.

"Didn't they lose to Talzeckia," midfielder Joe Taylor asked. "And wasn't that a shot heard 'round the world for them? They're not the same team they were at one time. Sani Luvo doesn't play there anymore."

The Tides open their qualifying campaign against McPsychoville at National Stadium in Tikira. Majeristani Football Association officials are encouraging supporters to arrive early for the stadium's renaming as Avid Mashoda Memorial Stadium, to honour the first coach in Falcons history.

"It will be emotional, that's for sure," Taylor said.

Tadjiks drawn in group 11
By Simon Grinchik, part time sportsjournalist

Coach Khumdin Sharipov and his boss, Michael Frunze feared being drawn in a group with some real troublemakers. But they got lucky as the Tadjiks end up in group 11 where they meet some teams that they know from previous encounters
Former coaches Rezvon and Bahrom Sadirov, the brothers whom led the Tadjik national team for more than 10 years, commented the group and the different teams.

Lovisa (17): They are always around, causing trouble. I remember the old Coach isserson mentioning them many years ago. I expect them to qualify, though they'll have to watch out for Giant Zucchini and Andossa se Mitrin Vega, two strong sides. For us Lovisa is, through its high ranking, the team to beat.

Giant Zucchini(32): We beat them 3-1 during the group stage of WC26 and although they improved a great deal, we should still be able to beat them. Certainly at home there should be no problem.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega(58) : We ended our career in this country while we helped Mr Sharipov in his first days as new coach. As number four in this group, ranked 58th they can beat Giant Zucchini and qualify for the World Cup. Even we should be cautious, as should Lovisa. Its exactly against sides like ASMV that we usually slip up.

]Pastorvillle(63) : I know very little of Pastorville, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Becquerelia (132), Green wombat (135), Georgeonia (211), Emporer Pudu (211) are four sides that'll fight for the four last places. Maybe one of these is a true revelation that'll rise up through the ranks, we'll have to wait and see.

Bahrom: Tadjikistan should have no trouble qualifying in this group, as a matter of fact, we should end in first position. And if we dont, then there's something really wrong with the team.
Rezvon: Lovisa is the main opponent, the others shouldnt be too much of a threat. I mean not to imply that it'll be easy, Giant Zucchini and Anodssa Se Mitrin Vega will both try to qualify and the best way for them to do that is by beating the top teams.
Bahrom: That includes us.
Rezvon: I'm a Tadjik, so Its obvious that if I make a prediction, I'll put Tadjikistan on top. In second place I would say Giant Zucchini, they've improved a great deal since WC26 and I expect them to qualify followed by Lovisa or ASMV, I'll leave that one open, Lovisa's high ranking might prove too much for ASMV. I have no idea about the other teams of which only Pastorville could play any role of importance in the group.
Bahrom: Our own Tigers will come out of this on top, thats one thing I'll agree to. But for second position, I'd bet on Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, followed by Giant Zucchini and Lovisa. I dont know about Pastorville, I'd say: Surprise me.
The same goes for the last four teams, I should do some research on them. Though we all know they wont be qualifying.

Fixtures:
MD1: Stay at home, do nothing
MD2: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan
MD3: Tadjikistan - Pastorville
MD4: Green Wombat - Tadjikistan
MD5: Tadjikistan - Emperor Pudu
MD6: Lovisa - Tadjikistan
MD7: Tadjikistan - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD8: Becquerelia - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - Georgonia
MD10: Stay home again, do nothing
MD11: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD12: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD13: Tadjikistan - Green Wombat
MD14: Emperor Pudu - Tadjikistan
MD15: Tadjikistan - Lovisa
MD16: Andossa se Mitrin Vega - Tadjikistan
MD17: Tadjikistan - Becquerelia
MD18: Georgonia - Tadjikistan

Owens For The Golden Wolves

WOODSTOCK, SARZONIA and AJER, YAFOR 2 - The controversy surrounding the recent "slani disaster", and the Sarzonian coach fiasco has taken another, unexpected, turn. This comes on the eve of the Sarzonian recession, with great consequences to both sport-mad countries if this goes wrong. Yafor 2 has not been particularily kind to Sarzonia and a sports controversy could cause anything...

Former Sarzonian Manager Barry Owens had been accepted as the manager of the Golden Wolves. In a press conference in Eastern Ajer, he had this to say about the World Cup: "I am very happy to be here. I'm already in love with the country, and the people seem great. Let's see how we can get this thing going!"

Owens, though not regarded highly in Sarzonia, has a record. He had experience on the managerial circuit, and knows just what each team wants. Barry Owens is no idiot, as several Sarzonian newpapers have put him out to be, but he is clearly a skilled man who knows just what he wants out of a football/soccer team, and will get it.

The details of the deal are still not clear. While it is said that he came over for a minimum amount of money and mainly for the love of the sport, the reverse is most likely true. The Imperial Yaforite Football/Soccer Association has been throwing around money in dollops and loads recently, and it was wooing Owens with both moral and physical delights, including the incentive bonus of being the highest paid manager in Yafor 2.

Former manager Keron Alhrem has agreed to take the second post in the team. "I have to focus on the LIDYT season, and Barry's a great guy. I think I'm doing what's best for the team." Alhrem has been pleading ill health for the last three years, but he made no note of it in his speech.

Retiring Captain Gerod Flamer seemed enthusiatic abou the new coach. "For better or for worse, it's a change,but I think it's for the better."

-Excerpt from The Chelmar Times.

The Nedalia Lions


Group 9
Audioslavia (15)
Commerce Heights (24)
Nedalia (31)
Chicanada (50)
Ariddia (62)
Kelse (135)
Pedriana (147)
Berner Street (201)
Ocmeoub (211)

Nedalia TidBits Going into the World Cup:

The biggest story is the call-up of Brent Vent as manager...A more accomplished manager one cannot find in the country, but can he make the jump from U21 coaching to the big-time...With him comes only 2 new players, Jimmy Kelly, and obvious call, and Boris Tuwalski, the teen-age defender...Vent has promised a more attacking system than the one recently installed by the resigning manager, Bilal Hachem, claiming they will go back to the roots Nedalia's first manager, Randy Gamman, installed...He will need to motivate superstar striker Tim James to get the results he wants...Without his goalscoring ability, the Lions can't seem to find the net too often...Jimmy Kelly offers hope for the future, however, netting in a record 33 goals in the Premier League this season...The defence remains the biggest question mark still, though...Will Ben Turner and Mohammed Khadra be able to play well together? They havent proven they can yet...Both back positions are secure, however, its the central defence that needs help...The midfield, on the other hand, has never looked stronger, with Nene, Hardman, and Point all in the prime of their careers.


Preview of Group 9:

Audioslavia (15): The Lions have faced them only once before, in World Cup 24 during the group stages. They were man-handled, too, losing 3-0 to the 'slaves. Since then, the Lions have experienced somewhat of a free-fall down the respect ladder for reasons unknown, and if they want to bring the pride back to name of the Lions, this is a great place to start. A victory from either of the two matches the Lions play them will be branded a success.

Commerce Heights (24): This will be the first time Nedalia goes head to head with its map-making AO counterpart, so there isn't too much in the way of predictions. Ranking-wise, the two countries are close, but Commerce Height's reputation far exceeds that of the Lions. The World Cup hosting nation will be favorites to defeat the Lions in both games, but Nedalians will be hoping to come away with atleast 3 points.

Chicanada (50): On the senior squad level, the Lions have faced Chicanada only once, destroying them 5-0 in Praying2God during the Cup of Harmony 17 group stages. No one expects that result to be repeated this time around. Simply put, this is one of the trickiest teams to play in all of football; not knowing whether itll be the team you obliterate or the team that obliterates you takes its toll on the emotions. Vent will have to prepare hard for these two games; 4 points will be the goal for the Lions.

Ariddia (62): The Lions only recently faced the founding nation of the World Cup, coming away with a 1-0 victory in the group stages of the 18th edition of the Cup of Harmony. A tough team to play, and an even tougher team to gain 6 points from, but Vent will be happy if the Lions can achieve that much.

And the Rest: Maximum points is expected from the rest of the group if the Lions are to stand any chance of survival. There is no other way around it.

Kyle Cartman walked down the hall to P's office, P being his immediate superior in the halls of MIB-12, Qazox's Secret Spy Agency. As he wandered down the hall passing security grids confirming his identity, his thoughts went back to the end of his last mission, where he had to pose as his own late brother, Keith. Did MIB-12 kill his brother, or was he still alive? Was Generalissimo Uarez of Green Wombat truly dead once and for all or did he slip through 0007's fingers again? His train of thought was rudely interupted by P's question.

P: "0007, did you hear me?"

KC: "I'm sorry, sir, I was thinking about something else. Could you repeat that?"

P: "As I was saying, your next mission is one that has truly Muti-Universal reprocussions. As you know, The Q Continuum is not exactly a part of reality as most beings know it. We do have information that someone from out side the Continuum maybe trying to invade here. We don't have any definite suspects, but we do suspect that one of the teams from the World Cup Qualifing who willbe coming here may be involved. Your mission is to go to these countries and gather any and all infomation and if you do find out there are plans for invasion, you will stop them. Do you understand that if you accept this mission and are captured or killed, Qazox will disavow any knowledge of you and your mission?"

KC: "Yes, sir. I understand. Since none of these countries were around for the BoF fiacso, do I need to be undercover?"

P: "yes of course, you do silly. You will be a member of the Black Oxen's Press Corps. We have already eliminated any traces of your involvement with Lorax City Channel 3 news, and made sure that no-one there will recognize you. However since this mission is of the utmost importance, we have decide to add one more person to the mission. Agent 382638, will you come in?"

Agent 382638 came in and Kyle took a look at her, and was stunned that the bookish young lady who served as P's secretary could actually look that damned sexy.

A382638: "You called for me sir?"

P: "Yes, since you have already been de-briefed on this mission as well, I won't repeat myself. Agent 0007 is in charge, but you are sent on this mission to prevent any Fiascoes like what happened to Uarez last year."

A382638: "Yes, sir. Am I to have a code name for this mission or just my Number?"

P: "For this mission your codename will be Regina Holden"

KC: "Any thing else sir?"

P: "No, good luck and success 0007."

We haven't heard an official statement from Rejistania stating that the most recent match against the Warriors didn't happen, but it's certainly one that they want to forget, as the Warriors upset them 2-0 in the first match of WC XXVI group play.

The ASR has no records of such a match. It never happened, it will never happen, it isn't happening now.


Orange-Blues in group of G**

The Orange-Blues found themselves in the Group 6 as firstly seeded team. The group draw was a chaos and had to be redone partially, which is a good omen: The last real chaotic group draw was in WC23 and that one was won by the Orange-Blues. The teams in group 6 are:

Rejistania (8): The Karelan powerhouse lost some rankings after the 26th world cup failed to take place. Most of the team had been replaced. Jeri Kis is one of the new talents as well as Seiru I Hetaki. Ka~nsu Hana~o is a big unknown since he played few league games in Rejistania. Random fact: Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile replaced more defenders than Oliverry have in their roster.

Praying2God (28): They are a religious nation, but fortunately keep it to themselves and are not as strange about it as a certain other nation. They Are also a FIFAnite nation and managed to go on for half a century without any successes to speak of. Despite this, the Orange-Blues had some not-tonice results against them.

The Archregimancy (33): The inikresaist community, the temple of Karela and the Excelite community of Rejistania consider this team and its nation as heathens. The ASR has announced that the temple of Karela will celebrate the Haijin Tahiakan ceremony. Teke Daran has explained this with: "Let these god-worshiipers suffer through an hour of a ceremony, they are not interested in in the leat!"
Rordia (57): They exist, they are ranked 57th. That is about the only thing we can say about them.
Swilatia (69): Tani Swilatiha! Jilih'veka! Han'iln namin siki'reja. Sek al! In case you do not understand this: It was a warm welcome to the partly rejistanian-speaking nation of Swilatia. Also their jesejilan 5-3-2 is something, the ASr surely will like.
Bazalonia (112): A rather takilan nation, former noobpower.
New Preussen (171): Lutheran German christian noobpower.
Popolus (201): Apparently the were in the Baptism of Fire, but were eliminated without any glory.
The Footie Dream Team (211): They exist, they are ranked 211th. That is about the only thing we can say about them, except that surely Nana Daki, "Sasi", Lactu Takil and SyLy won't play there.

"Strange fax coming in from an unknown address, sir."

"Well, bring it to me. Let's have a shufti."

The Wentland FA chairman read the single page:

I AM THE
PREDICTOR

"Ah, seems to be the Predictor, young Smee."

"Er, who is the Predictor, sir?"

"I have no idea."

Whirr, click, bzz, shhnng. Another page.

THERE WILL BE
A GNASHING
AND WAILING

"Er..."

More whirring, clicking, buzzing, shnnnging.

TRAGEDY
STALKS!!!

"Is this Malcolm? Winding us up?"

"Er, I don't think so, sir. The number on the fax appears to be from somewhere unknown."

"Well, let's keep this from the team, Smee. No need to concern them. No psychological blows this close to the match, eh? They ought to be able to do something tonight anyway."

Stars face familiar foes in Group 4

It may not be the Group of Death and the group may not include some of the Sarzonian national team's most hated footy opponents, but Group 4 will bring plenty of intrigue to the Stars. Among Sarzonia's opponents in the qualifying stages are familiar rivals and teams the Stars are very familiar with.

"It's going to be a lot easier to figure out how to play these guys," Coach Dave Wilson joked. "We don't even need to roll tape on those guys.

"Krytenia you know the history. A lot of knockout stage matches and a lot of penalties round battles. They'll be amped for the matches for sure," Wilson said. "However, we also must not forget that the Krytenian football association suffered an unspeakable tragedy. We extend our deepest condolences to the families of those who lost their lives.

"Our home match against Krytenia will be a benefit match for the families affected," Wilson continued. "Anyone who can contribute is encouraged to do so. Even though we're in the throes of the Panic of 2006 ourselves, we need to be mindful that there are people out there who are dealing with worse tragedies than we are. People losing their loved ones to me is much worse than losing a job."

Also on Wilson's docket is a two match derby against a Hypocria side he coached in the previous two World Cups. Wilson said he wishes the Hyppos well and "hope they join us in Bedistan or Fmjphoenix," and harbours no ill will toward the Hyppos.

However, a source close to Wilson said the coach was "frustrated" with Hypocria, admitting that his return to Sarzonia was fueled partly by "their FA's impatience.

"The Hyppos nearly qualified after World Cup XXV qualifying and won a AOCAF title against us and their FA was ready to 'go in a new direction'," the source said. "Rome wasn't built in a day and [Wilson] wanted to stick around for the long haul." However, Wilson chose to emphasize the positive.

"I'm here now and I'm in it for the long haul and I'm here to restore confidence in the IFF," Wilson said.

The other team playing heavily on Sarzonia's radar screen is Legalese, a team previously run by former Stars coach Barry Owens and a team that is still infamous in Sarzonia for its 5-2 defeat of the Stars in World Cup XVIII qualifying. Even though Sarzonia has avenged that loss several times over.

"We never take Legalese lightly, that much is certain," Wilson said. "We won't be taking anyone in our group lightly, but there's a real chance we could be eliminated from the World Cup if we don't play well. That's what we have to guard against."

The Casari Soccer Authority Presents the Qualifying Schedule for the 1501 World Cup:

V. Magnus Valerius - Revolution Stadium National Team Opener - Free Opening Day T-shirts to first 15,000 Fans
@ The Bar
V. Harlesburg - Half-price Beer Night sponsored by Emeri Brewing Company
@ McPsychoville
V. Crna Gora Liv Eng - LaRain Manufacturing car giveaway - One fan will win the new 1502-model LeRain 520 Sportscar
V. Hockey Canada - Classic Kit Night - See Casari play the top ranked team in the group in the classic if not hideous "Tiger Kit (http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/kit2.png)"!
V. Kaze Progressa - Andy Ronalo Hall-of-Fame Night
@ Majeristan
V. Imperial Moose - Granite Cup/National Team match Doubleheader Night
@ Magnus Valerius
V. Beers
@ Harlesburg
V. McPsychoville - 10 Telari Meat Pie Night Sponsored by Agori Foods
@ Crna Gora Liv Eng
@ Hockey Canada
@ Kaze Progressa
V. Majeristan - Qualification Wrap-up, with post match concery by NinjaPirate
@ Imperial Moose

Hill sighed. "We got front-loaded on qualifying again."

"There's nothing we can do about that." Graham said, looking out the window.

"You could complain your ass off. Then again, since when have you ever been concerned with anything other than replacing me." She spat, scowling across the room.

"I don't want to replace you, the rest of the board does. I'm the one keeping you as the head of the team."

"That's thrilling. How can I keep my job then?"

"Win."

"... you know, I was expecting something more complicated than that. You know, like that apology for trying to sucker-punch that linesman as he ran past."

Graham shook his head. "Ok, No sucker-punching officals either. Does that help?"

"Not overly. We start training in an hour, I have to get to the field." Hill said, streching. "Don't fall out the window."

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Hello fans, friends, and foes of The Fighting Norris! This telecast will contain all of the Pre-Matchday 1 of World Cup 27 Fighting Norris information you'll ever have to know. We'll open our show to voice Coach Bob Janney's response to the recent concerns with The Fighting Norris World Cup 27 roster. Here are some of the complaints that have been filed:
Senior MFA officials were today protesting to tournament organisers about the inclusion of defender Baka Laka Daka Raka in the Mr. Chuck Norris World Cup squad.

"We know that the nations of ordinary physical reality consider nothing to be sacred" said the by-now stereotypical senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity "but their own roster says that this Daka Kaka Maka Paka character is a foreign exchange student from Hrakastan! Since when were national teams permitted to include players from other nations? And he's in their starting XI. If this sort of thing's permitted, then we want to reconfigure our team so it consists of nothing but the best Orthodox players from the top 10 nations of the world! It's the worst case of nation-hopping since Bazalonia captain Peter Hobble was caught playing for Elrich in the Cup of Harmony!"
The Ariddian Football Association has joined the Monastic Football Association of the Archregimancy in condemning the inclusion of young Hrakastani national Baka Laka Daka Raka in the squad for the oddly-named nation of Mr. Chuck Norris.

“This violates clearly established rules,” AFA President Anna Teals said. “Mr. Raka must not be allowed to play.”
ASR demands clarification on Baka Laka Daka Raka

Teke Daran, president of the ASR, said his judgement of the situation of Raka'he would depend on whether he became citizen of both Mr Chuck Norris and Hrakastan. If the publications just omitted that, there is no problem at all for him to play for Mr Chuck Norris, especially seeing Hrakastan never participated in an international soccer tournament. If he however is no citizen of Mr Chuck Norris, there is no reason that he should be allowed to play for them.

The Fighting Norris has only been a member of World Cup 27 for a couple days and already, they are surrounded in controversy. In response to the accusations, Coach Bob Janney said this a press conference:

"Mr. Janney! What do you plan to do with defender Baka Laka Daka Raka?", A random reporter blurts from the mob of people.

"Nothing's wrong with Baka Laka Daka Raka... NEXT QUESTION!", Janney retorts very quickly.

"Mr. Janney, certainly you know that several nations throughout the World Cup have been demanding clarification on the legitimacy of a foreign exchange student playing on your national squad. Are you going to cut Mr. Baka Laka Daka Raka?", Another random reporters bursts out.

"...", Janney waits, looking down at his clipboard, "I didn't know that I couldn't field Baka, he will be cut from the team immeadiatly".

"Who will you replace him with than?", Yet another random reporter yells.

"We'll field Jack Moon in his place", murmurs a clearly frustrated Janney.

"You didn't answer the question, who will be placed on the squad in Mr. Baka Laka Daka Raka's place?", A mass of reporters begin shouting from the crowd.

"I guess we'll field my son... Rob Janney. He's a 21-year-old forward. He will not start for now, but may be substitued in in any match", answers Bob Janney.

"But sir, isn't that nepotism?", Asks a random little boy in the corner.

"ENOUGH QUESTIONS!", bellows Janney walking off the stage.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
In related news, a young boy and his mother are suing Coach Bob Janney for ten million Roundhouses (Roundhouses are the basic form of currency in The Holy Empire of Mr Chuck Norris) claiming the Janney "severely demoralized the young boy by ignoring his question and yelling at him". Janney's only recorded comment on the subject is "Can you sue a person for demoralizing a kid?".
-----------------------------------------------------------------

An investigation is also being conducted after this incident soon after the press conference:
(Hidden camera shows Bob Janney and Baka Laka Daka Raka sitting in Janney's office)

"I'm sorry Baka, but we've been figured out, I can't let you play on the team anymore, it's only best", Exclaims Bob Janney.

"But coach, you fielded me in the Baptism of Fire and there were no complaints", says a choked up Baka Laka Daka Raka.

"I know, but now we're playing in the big tourney, and the competition here is a little more strict than in the Baptism of Fire", admits Bob Janney.

"Well good luck coach! I guess I'll be sitting in the stands cheering you guys on then!", yells a clearly angry Baka Laka Daka Raka as he storms out of the office.

Though no charges have been filed, a fine is likely to ensue.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

On a lighter note, the group draw has recently occured for World Cup 27. Here's our footage of Coach Bob Janney comments on the draw as it occured:

"Well, the first two rounds just finished up and here's what I'm thinking", comments a concentrated Bob Janney, "one would think the groups could be mathematically sorted from hardest to easiest in terms of difficulty to qualify by averaging the ranks of the two teams drawn into each group so far. That being said, here's my rankings on the groups from hardest to easiest after the first two rounds:

Group 4
Group 8
Group 3
Group 11
Group 7
Group 10
Group 2
Group 5
Group 1
Group 6
Group 9
Group 12

I figure the further down on that list we can get, the better our chances of qualifying are."
(Draw concludes)
"Well, we ended up in group 7 (number 5 on the difficulty list), which has its pros and cons. The obvious con being, we have the highest ranked team in the qualifying round in our group in the form of Liverpool England, essentially eliminating one of the qualification spots. That leaves two more spots for the other 8 teams in our to squabble over, decreasing our chances to qualify. The pros are that not only do the teams in this region have talent, which will naturally make our team better, but we're also in a group with our friends from the Baptism of Fire, Allied Anime Worlds. I'll try to remain positive, but our chances of qualifying are next to nil."

Athough coach Janney has really put The Fighting Norris season into a negative perspective, we here at CNN (Chuck Norris News) believe it'll be a good season. To end our show we'll turn our show over to our anal stats guy, Theo Retical.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Hello everyone, I'm Theo Retical, and I'm going to spare all of you viewers the pain of my rambling by simply analyzing the teams in the Fighting Norris' group... group 7.

Liverpool England
Ranked number 2 in the world, this constant World Cup threat should have no problem not only dominating the Fighting Norris, but dominating the group as a whole, I'll be fully disappointed is these guys don't take first in the group.

Turori
Ranked number 26 in the world, I'm not sure what to think of these guys. Turori got smoked in last year's Wold Cup, ending up last in their group and failing to qualify. However, Turori preceded to win the latest Cup of Harmony, dominating Bettia 4-0 in the finals. I'm not sure if these guys will fare like they did in the World Cup or in the Cup of Harmony, but they're a team to be reckoned with reguardless.

The Lowlands Clan
Though I don't know much about The Lowland Clans, I do know that they are ranked number 42 in the world. However, they haven't managed to qualify for the World Cup finals over the past three Cups, so maybe this will be their first time.

Yafor 2
Ranked at number 49 in the world, these guys just missed a qualification spot in the last World Cup when it was stolen by The Kazoo Peoples in conjunction with Rolatia. Knowing that, this squad must be good, and I think the best the Fighting Norris will do against them is a draw.

Rolatia
Ranked at number 77 in the world, I know little about this squad besides the fact that they haven't been around too long and helped out The Kazoo Peoples in denying Yafor 2 from qualifying.

Allied Anime Worlds
Allied Anime Worlds can only be described as underrated at number 117 in the world. They were in the Fighting Norris' group in the recent Baptism of Fire, and although they only beat them 1-0, they played harder than anyone else I saw in the Baptism of Fire. Not to mention they eventually ended up taking the whole tourney. No one at any time should underestimate this squad, or they will fall as another victim.

Mr Chuck Norris
Well, the Fighting Norris are only ranked at 187 in the world, so I don't know how much of a chance they have. Between the recent controversy and difficult group, all these guys have to hope for is a few draws and a couple of wins. I wish the best of luck to The Fighting Norris.

TheSuncoastofFlorida
Ranked 199 in the world, I remember this squad from the Baptism of Fire. They only totaled two goals in the whole tourney and strayed no further than the qualifying round. The Fighting Norris should be able to log one or two wins against this team.

The Belmore Family
They've been inactive in the World Cup program for quite some time now, since about World Cup 22 I believe, so I know nothing about them. If the Fighting Norris don't log at least one win against this team, I'll be dissappointed.

That's all for my segment and thus the telecast in general, tune in next time to see how The Fighting Norris fared in their first match. It will become customary to post the Fighting Norris' World Cup 27 schedule and record at the end of every telecast.

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Fighting Norris World Cup 27 Record: 0-0-0

I'm really sorry about the foreign exchange student, I didn't even think once that playing him might be illegal, but it's resolved now.

[OOC: MCN, he withdrew mid-qualifiers, and scored -3pts per game thereafter.]

IC:

New management team Ian Valacci and Edward Johnson are reading aloud the names of the twelve victims of the horiffic incident of two years previous at a memorial ceremony in Everton City. Several of the survivors are also there.

IV: "David Van Staveren..."
EJ: "Paul Sinjin..."
IV: "Virgil Stanescu..."
EJ: "Vernon Polyakh..."
IV: "Lyle Lovitz..."
EJ: "Adam Van Waldhuis..."
IV: "Oliver Kader..."
EJ: "Simon Ziov..."
IV: "Geoff Merckx..."
EJ: "Kevin Keda..."
IV: "Alex Varov..."
EJ: "Robin Spivey."

At this point, James Barcali pipes up.

JB: "He's not dead."
IV: "What?"
JB: "Robin. He's not dead."
EJ: "Robin's alive?"

We pan across the city with a magical camera of RP "borrowed" from the Rejistanians. Sure enough, Robin Spivey is alive, albeit in a coma.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Heroes"

Coming to RP, World Cup 27.

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama get decent draw

Milchama is looking good right now after a decent draw that puts them with Eauz and Vilita. While qualification might be hard and again depends on unlikely upsets at least we won't be losing to Rordia 6-3 and having biased referees in a lot of our matches. Now onto the infamous Milchamian predictions:

Group 3
Eauz (6)- Very Communist and very good. Our new government likes them so we must say that they are a good country. We will lose twice to them.
Vilita (20)- We played their puppet Turori and got crushed twice but that was long ago and now we are better and Vilita (and Turori) are worse. Now we won't win twice but we can draw twice (and we will) so that's two points.
Milchama (44)-That's us we're in again as underdogs and hoping for some luck and actual qualification although it will definitely be an uphill battle. It has happened before and it will happen again, maybe this time it will be us.
Elrich (60)- We crushed them in the CoH. while we may have gone down and they have gone up we have confidence and we will beat them twice again. At worst we get 4 points off them.
Tanah Burung (74)- Coach Jamie Smith said, "I'm upset their in our group, these guys are good. I think we can still win once but one win and a draw would not be unlikely." Considering he's not so confident then neither are we so that's 4 points.
Hiiraan (93)- Two wins. These guys are behind us right now and are not coming up that fast. This of course means we cruise.
Qazox (139)- Did well in the BoF but is that enough? Probably not. They are rising and will be good but that's not this cup and that means that we win. Twice.
Dorian and Sonya (211)- The unicorns are scared of us, so that of course means two more wins.
Valertinette (211)- Never heard of them before so of course that means we two more games.

That means a total of 36 points.

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SFA-Logo.gif
World Cup 27 Preview
Starblaydia Going All The Way?

World Cup 27 is upon us, and Atlantian Oceania's very own World Champions Bedistan and their co-hosts Fmjphoenix will soon be welcoming the thirty other best teams in the world to their collective pad, just for the right to lift up some trophy or other that Starblaydia owned just before Bedistan did. Still in the top ten in the world despite their most-dismal performance since... World Cup 24, in fact, Starblaydia are gunning for that fabled trophy once again as the 7th-ranked team in the world.

But, of course, there are one-hundred and six other nations aiming for that trophy, fabled as it is. Assuming Starblaydia make it of course - something that we'll look into in further detail later - who will they be alongside?

--------Group 1
Clear favourites here are Jeruselem, though the up-and-coming New Montreal States are putting themselves in a position where they can never be counted out of a tie. Druida and Cuation will certainly be fighting it out for the play-off place that comes with Third in the Group, but there will surely be no surprises in this group, one would expect.

--------Group 2
Total n Utter Insanity will, as per usual, qualify by a country mile without saying a word. The Kazoo Peoples may actually provide an upset over a Bettia side who we think might perform poorly in qualifying. No other team should come particularly close to the top three, though.

--------Group 3
Long-timers Eauz are on something of a resurgence of late and should qualify with ease from this Group. Vilita, however are certainly on the way down and may not even make the Play-Offs. Milchama and, oh dear God can we even say it... Hiiraan could get there? No, better Tanah Burung's soccer-playing Cossowaries.

--------Group 4
Sarzzzz.zzzzzz...... Oh sorry, dropped off for a moment there. They'll qualify, as will Krytenia and hopefully Hypocria too, from an Atlantian Oceaniatastic Group.

--------Group 5
As per bloody usual, Crystilakere will somehow make the Second Round of the Cup proper while still living off the back of their World Cup... 19 win. Spruitland will push them all the way, but be pushed in turn by Cataduanes who have come from nowhere to be a team to be reckoned with. Dance 2 Revolution, after yet another revolution, will be attempting to get back into contention for... scoring a goal, at least.

--------Group 6
One-nil, to the Orange-Blues. Qualification for Rejistania quite early too. Alongside them in qualification will be on of God-Botherers, Inc.. Not that we can actually tell them apart, you know. It'll be the other of the two that doesn't qualify that will take the Play-off spot.

--------Group 7
Liverpool England can't fail to qualify from this Group, even if their only media statements are 'Sorry we haven't said anything recently'. Turori recovered from.. um... being shite... to win the Cup of Harmony. Nothing says they won't be shite again, though. Expect Yafor 2 to have a good run but be just beaten out of the places by The Lowland Clans.

--------Group 9
Audioslavia will set it off as they top this group with ease. Commerce Heights and Nedalia face some quite stiff competition from the other teams in the Group, but expect the Lions to go into the Finals automatically.

--------Group 10
The real surprises of the last cup, finishing fourth, those Hockey-playing Canucks are somehow in the top ten, something we're sure they'll not shut up about once internet connections return to the frozen wastes of the land of Hockey Canada. Casari and Kaze Progressa will take the next two spots respectively, though Majeristan will be hot on their heathen heels.

--------Group 11
Tadjikistan will conquer all in this Group before a disappointing Finals performance, while Lovisa may drop out of this cup and be replaced by Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Giant Zucchini's non-vegetable players.

-------Group 12
By now you're bored, so let's just say Squornshelous, Schiavonia and The Islands of Qutar will qualify in that order. Simple.

Thankfully, on-one will read/care/remember our predictions, so we can make them with 100% certainty that there'll be no awful comebacks on these. Now, to Starblaydia's own Group, cunningly missed out from the above list:

Group 8
Starblaydia (7)
Atlantian Oceania
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/starblaydia.jpg

Ranked seventh in the world, Starblaydia are one of the forces to be reckoned with on the global sports stage. Champions just two Cups ago, a number of that Championship-winning team are still in the squad, most notably the captain, Menecrates. Prediction: 1st, Qualified

Oliverry (19)
Atlantian Oceania
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oliverry.jpg

A huge boost in the popularity of football occurred in Oliverry after joint-hosting the last World Cup and their new-found enthusiasm for the non-ice-related games has pushed them higher up the rankings than every before. Surely not a team to threaten former World Champions in Starblaydia, but nonetheless they're the only team who can conceivably stop them. Prediction: 2nd, Qualify

Wentland (43)
Akbaria
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/wentland.jpg
They make a heck of a lot of noise, but most of it really seems to make no sense. Gibberish, if you will. Their world ranking of 43 is also quite beyond us. The KPBs are obviously wrong, Bedistan in 1st, in their own hosted Cup? Ha! Ludicrous!
Prediction: 4th, just

Spaam (51)
The Heartland
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg
Somehow we think they may just sneak third ahead of Wentland to get into the play-off place. Other than watching Starblaydia, the fight for third will probably be the most excitement in this group.
Prediction: 3rd, Play-off Place

East Lithuania (71)
Eutopian Highlands
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/east_lithuania.jpg
They have a big flag. We just think they're over-compensating for their lack of... something else. Probably football ability. A higher rank than the other nations below them only through sheer durability and longevity. Don't expect much great play from them. Prediction: 6th

Haraki (117)
Power
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/moldova.jpg
They certainly made some noise in their Baptism of Fire, as well as elsewhere in the world, but their lack of experience will hopefully be made up for by determination and creativity. Prediction: 5th

Obsidianus (163)
Greater Nerd Prosperity Sphere
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/obsidianus.jpg
Here's one of those stereotypical nations that we'd probably have something to say about if we'd bothered to research them. As for the moment, we probably think they play in black. Prediction: 7th

Priggdom (207)
The Alternative United Nations
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/priggdom.jpg
The, um, the... they do a silly dance, right? Perhaps those patented 70s style disco moves will cut the mustard on a dancefloor with lights in under it, but on the grass and white lines, they're going down. Napoleon complex indeed. Ka-boom! Prediction: 8th

Shing-Shang (211)
Japan
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/shing-shang.jpg
So, there's Liverpool England and now seemingly a nation with something called Liverpool Football Club Est 1892. They don't like hippies, apparently, depite their love of moving in groups. Weird. Shing-Shang to get Big-Banged by pretty much every team in the Group.
Prediction: 9th

Kelse eager for World Cup 27

Santa Monica, KEL - The Qualifying Draws are in, and for its inaugural run in the 27th World Cup, the Kelsian National Football Team (nicknamed the Mariners) has been drawn into Group 9, along with Audioslavia (15), Commerce Heights (24), Nedalia (31), Chicanada (50), Ariddia (62), Pedriana (147), and fellow participants in the BoF Berner Street (201), and Ocmeoub (211). After a modest run in the Baptism of Fire, where Kelse made it to the Regional Semi-Finals, losing to Becquerelia. The team left the BoF with a 5-1-1 (W-D-L) record and 12 Goals For and 4 Goals Against.

Although Kelse is not expected to make it out of the qualifying stage, head coach Rafael Centino said in an interview "I think our chances are slim, but I feel this is a great way to start out at the World Cup. Starting out at 135th place is pretty good, and we've been place in a diverse group with a few great teams, a few so-so teams, and a few not-so-good teams. I hope through this experience our boys will learn a lot about the game, so that slowly but surely our team makes it up in the rankings."

Also eager for Kelse's qualifying run is the Kelsian Ministry of Athletics and Culture and the Kelsian Ministry of Tourism , who have prepared the venues and residences of the international teams coming to play in Kelse. The stadium to be used will be the Stade du Pacifique, a new 40,000 seater stadum built near the marina in Kelse's capital city, Saint-Monica. The residences of the Athletes will be at the Tour De Lux, the brand new premier hotel built on the shoreline approximately ten minutes from the stadium. Minister Natalia Catero says, "This is a chance to show the world what Kelse has to offer, and to hopefully inspire interest of other nations in Kelse and bring in tourism into our beloved nation."

Stade du Pacifique - http://pub.tv2.no/multimedia/na/archive/00149/Est_dio_Algarve__eu_149556a.jpg
Tour De Lux - http://www.marinascape.com/images/photo_home.jpg (right)

Kelse's WC 27 Qualifying Schedule
Kelse @ Arridia (Stade National Rêvane-Sud)
Kelse @ Pedriana
Ocmeoub @ Kelse (Stade du Pacifique)
Commerce Heights @ Kelse (Stade du Pacifique)
Kelse @ Chicanada (Governess Palace)
BYE
Berner Street @ Kelse (Stade du Pacifique)
Audioslavia @ Kelse (Stade du Pacifique)
Kelse @ Nedalia
Arridia @ Kelse (Stade du Pacifique)
Pedriana @ Kelse (Stade du Pacifique)
Kelse @ Ocmeoub
Kelse @ Commerce Heights
Chicanada @ Kelse (Stade du Pacifique)
BYE
Kelse @ Berner Street
Kelse @ Audioslavia
Nedalia @ Kelse (Stade du Pacifique)

Kelse will kick off it's WC 27 run against Arridia tomorrow, which will be broadcasted live across the country on Atletica De Lux, channel 15 in the greater Saint-Monica area. Elsewhere, please check your local listings. Analysists say although the odds are in favor of Arridia, Kelse still has a chance. Analysist Torano Meldino says, "Tomorrow we've simply got to play our best game, we can't do anything wrong." Well, heres to a great run, and good luck, Mariners!

Tynelian Nationals Arrive

According to our correspondents in the land of The Weegies, the team flight containing the national Tynelian soccer team has just arrived in the country in lieu of their openning World Cup group play. The Tynelian squad was reportedly in high spirits as they arrived but some were confused by the general indifference of the population.

"Hey i know we're new and all but this is the World Cup." stated Tynelian top scorer Jay Masterson, "You'd think someone would be here to cover the fact that the team The Weegies will be starting this thing against finally made it. I just hope they have a good chinese restaurant here..." he concluded as his stomach grumbled.

Team coach Marcus O'Meara had a slightly different take. "Well we are one of the new teams in this tournament so its to be expected that our getting here isn't that big a deal. Its up to us to get out on the field tomorrow and in the games to come and make people notice us. Then maybe we'll have the right to expect people to say 'Hey the look its the Tynelian nationals, they're playing us next.' Until we go out and earn these other country's respect no one is going to fall over themselves in giving it to us. Maybe that will give the boys and girls on the team something to think about tonight."

That being said all Tynelia is talking about this openning game. The beginning of a long agonizing show of being completely outclassed by the rest of the world? Or maybe, just maybe, the beginning of something wonderful.

Chicanada Daily Rabbler

Kodiaks Get Screwed
Hopes after CoH dashed in loaded Group 9.

Eastentown - You could hear the nation exhale in disappointment after the draw for the 27th World Cup was posted.

No appearance this year.

After several years of hopes of success, the Kodiak Nation has been resigned to yet another 5th place finish after getting handed a rather aggravating draw - featuring teams we tend to lose to in Commerce Heights and Nedalia, probably better teams in Arridda (even though we did beat them a long time ago) and the only major club Chicanada has ever beaten (and showing a 1-1-1 record against) in Audioslavia...who think we are "Chicandese." Wethinks someone missed the memo that we are "Chicanadan."

Anyways, lets discuss the probable collapse YET AGAIN of a promising Chicanada national side.

National Coach Malli, who chose to go with a young squad still lead by Star Point's Olani Pjan, said he was rather happy with the draw and thinks the Kodiaks could be a dark horse for the playoff slot, but he seems to be the only one. After seeing the Kodiaks slide down rather quickly after their third straight fifth-place finish since making their only Finals appearance, no one expects the Kodiaks of much anymore. Not even the CFA, who usually participate in Draw Day through speeches and camps. Eastentown's tallest office building was rather quiet, reflecting the mood in the nation concerning their falling darlings.

Some figure the nation should already bid to host the Cup of Harmony, which could be more advantagaeous for revenue than the recent AOCAF Cup - since most expect the Kodiaks to make their way back.

In telly news, Canal has the rights for this session, and will start following the National side in their home opener against Pedriana tommorow at the Mountainside Fairgrounds in Castille. The 30,000 seat hillside stadia for Derby is already sold out for the showing of the Nations kits...and maybe a tie?

Kodiak National Side Schedule:
MD01: v Pedriana (@ Moutainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD02: @ Ocmeoub
MD03: @ Commerce Heights
MD04: off day - plans for training in Kinsington
MD05: v Kelse (@ New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD06: @ Berner Street
MD07: @ Audioslavia
MD08: v Nedalia (@ Depot Centre, Cana)
MD09: v Arrida (@ Heartland Stadium, Goedi)
MD10: @ Pedriana
MD11: v Ocmeoub (@ BFC Pavillion, Bishop County)
MD12: v Commerce Heights (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD13: off day - training in Atens
MD14: @ Kelse
MD15: v Berner Street (@ Coastal Stadium, New Glasgow)
MD16: v Audioslavia (@ Southampton National Square)
MD17: @ Nedalia
MD18: @ Arrida

CFA Projected Points Collection
Audioslavia - 2
Commerce Heights - 0
Nedalia - 4
Ariddia - 2
Kelse - 4
Pedriana - 4
Berner Street - 6
Ocmeoub - 6

Points Expected - 28
Expected Finish - 4th
Projected Qualifiers - Commerce Heights, Audioslavia, Aridda (playoff slot)

In other news...

Chicanada's former clansmen, Risa-Aramour, goes into a rather loaded Group 2. The nation, with limited news comming out since the recent attacks by non-Risians in the Southern Enclave, is expected to finish well out of range for the Finals. RAFP is expected to release their own formal news concerning the opening session at The Kazoo People in the morning, probably after a news conference in Tiraspol as well as th Central Government District between the Aramour Kingdom, Risian Kingdom and the Yasiba leadership from the Enclave.

Who are all of these guys?

Squornshelous Drawn in Group 12 with some other teams

The Pschychoes find themselves in a group almost completely filled with unfamiliar teams. Only The Macabees have faced Squornshelous before, and the highest ranked team aside from ourselves is Schiavonia, at 29th in the World. It would be easy, given this information, to predict the Pschychoes running away with the group, as several analysts from around the world have. However, fwhen we delved a little deeper into the recent history of the teams we have to face, we found that it might not be so easy after all. Schiavonia and The Islands of Qutar, while both ranked significantly below Squornshelous, have been consistent overachievers of late, and will be hungry for upsets. We will have to prepare for those four matches the same way we prepared for our three matches against Wentland last cup. Kericia, while not the same upset threat as Schiavonia and TIoQ, are still a decent football team, who cannot be dismissed as pushovers, and the same can be said for The Macabees. Once we get past the top five teams in the group, there seems to be very little to threaten Squornshelous, but we will be watching carefully, to see if any teams in the group begin to play above their expectations.

Group 12
Squornshelous (11)
Schiavonia (29)
The Islands of Qutar (30)
Kericia (56)
The Macabees (67)
Apologetic Kittens (83)
Jon Parkin (171)
Spaamanian Plijous (201)
San Adriano (211)

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
MD01: bye
MD02: The Islands of Qutar v Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous v The Macabees
MD04: Jon Parkin v Squornshelous
MD05: Squornshelous v San Adriano
MD06: Schiavonia v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v Kericia
MD08: Apologetic Kittens v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Spaamanian Plijous
MD10: bye
MD11: Squornshelous v The Islands of Qutar
MD12: The Macabees v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Jon Parkin
MD14: San Adriano v Squornshelous
MD15: Squornshelous v Schiavonia
MD16: Kericia v Squornshelous
MD17: Squornshelous v Apologetic Kittens
MD18: Spaamanian Plijous v Squornshelous

GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS
Now with Anti-Ox Propaganda!!!

Here's the Green Wombatian Schedule for the World Cup 27 Qualifing round:

MD01: at Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD02: vs Becquerelia
MD03: vs Georgeonia
MD04: vs Tadjikistan
MD05: at Giant Zucchini
MD06: vs Pastorvillle
MD07: BYE DATE
MD08: at Emporer Pudu
MD09: at Lovisa
MD10: vs Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD11: at Becquerelia
MD12: at Georgeonia
MD13: at Tadjikistan
MD14: vs Giant Zucchini
MD15: at Pastorvillle
MD16: BYE DATE
MD17: vs Emporer Pudu
MD18: vs Lovisa

Gazetta de'Esporte

Vuam and Isma to face Sarzonia and Krytenia.

Group 4
Sarzonia (4)
Krytenia (16)
Hypocria (41)
Lethislavania (55)
Legalese (64)
Palacetonia (123)
Vuam and Isma (187)
Rorysville (209)
Revived Constantinople (211)

The world cup groups have just been drawn, and Vuam and Isma might have hit one of the hardest groups of them all. In group 4, Vuam and Isma will have to face 2 teams in the top 20, and 3 teams between the 40th and the 65th place in the world rankings. Knowing that only 2 teams get through, and that the team that's 3rd gets to the qualifiers, many pundits have written Vuam and Isma off as being lucky to get as far as the top 5, let alone the top 3!

Vuam and Isma will hope to take any points possible, but really, there are only 4 matches where Vuam and Isma can reasonably hope to win : Home and Away to Rorysville, and Home and Away to Revived Constantinople.

Let's take a look at each team.

Sarzonia
Ranked 4th in the world, Sarzonia has a long history of footballing excellence. Very few countries have tasted victory against them, and even fewer have created an upset against them.

Krytenia
Ranked 16th in the world, Krytenia should have a pretty easy run through this qualifying period. The only game they'll really have to play will be against Sarzonia, as it's the only time they'll be underdogs.

Hypocria
Coming in at 41st world-wide, Hypocria will know that qualification is very possible... But that it won't be easy. If they manage to pull off good games against Sarzonia and Krytenia, then they will really have a good chance of getting into 3rd place.

Lethislavania
Currently 55th in the world, Lethislavania have every chance of being the big upset in this group. Lethislavania will have to try as hard as possible, and drop as few points as possible to get past Hypocria, and get to the play-offs.

Legalese
64th in the KPB rankings, and they know that any minor slip-up could be the end of their qualifying run, with Sarzonia, Krytenia, Hypocria and Lethislavania ranked above them.

Palacetonia
Palacetonia are ranked 123rd in the KPB rankings, and they probably know that they will have to use this qualifying round as an attempt to achieve a new level of play. However, qualification seems just out of bounds.

Vuam and Isma
For Vuam and Isma to get through, there would have to be a 146-rank upset. Ranked 187th, Vuam and Isma will be using this qualifying round as a great chance to gauge some of the top teams in the world, and learn from them. Qualification is unplausible, but not impossible. We think Vuam and Isma might manage to be 5th or 6th in this group.

Rorysville
209th in the world tells it's own story. Who would bet on them to get through? Nobody. However, all the other teams will know that they shouldn't be looked down on, because as slip-up in Rorysville might just hand their rivals a qualifying spot.

Revived Constantinople
The strongest team in the group, they're holding up not only all the other teams in this group, but also every country in the world. RC are completely unknown as to their footballing ability, and the only thing we know is that they'll be hoping to avoid major defeats against teams like Sarzonia and Krytenia.


Matches
MD01: Lethislavania v Vuam and Isma
MD02: Vuam and Isma v Palacetonia @ Stadio Mondragon
MD03: Vuam and Isma v Rorysville @ Communal Grounds
MD04: Vuam and Isma v Sarzonia @ Estadi De Luc
MD05: Hypocria v Vuam and Isma
MD06: Vuam and Isma v Legalese @ Gran Mithrodon
MD07: Vuam and Isma do not play
MD08: Revived Constantinople v Vuam and Isma
MD09: Krytenia v Vuam and Isma
MD10: Vuam and Isma v Lethislavania @ Stadio Mondragon
MD11: Palacetonia v Vuam and Isma
MD12: Rorysville v Vuam and Isma
MD13: Sarzonia v Vuam and Isma
MD14: Vuam and Isma v Hypocria @ Communal Grounds
MD15: Legalese v Vuam and Isma
MD16: Vuam and Isma do not play
MD17: Vuam and Isma v Revived Constantinople @ Estadi De Luc
MD18: Vuam and Isma v Krytenia @ Gran Mithrodon

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b274/John_Spinks/Elrichlogopaint.jpg

PETER AND THE WOLF

Bill Murray looked once more over the letter he had received almost a week ago from the Bazalonian FA, and smiled to himself.

Elrich Football Association
Subject: Peter Hobble and Wolfman

It seems that sometime, either during the match we played in the Cup of Harmony or sometime after it, that Peter Hobble had got bitten by the Wolfman and has himself turned into a Werewolf. Please account for this occurance, and we are currently thinking about taking legal action against the wolfman, criminally for assault or through civil action. Though the Elrichian FA may well also be named as co-defendents, depending on our legal teams advice. We thank you for your attention and wish a speedy reply.

Yours Sincerly, James Gaines
President of the Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Associations

Bill knew he was right. Despite significant pressure to reply from the Bazalonian Federation, and from other members of the FA, the Chief Exec would not be rushed into a speedy reply. After a week of searching through the Elrichian Government archives had found what he had wanted. Bill glanced at the clock, 2AM. The building was deserted. He glanced down at the thick dusty volume of "Werewolfian Law" and began to type his response.

To James Gaines, President of the Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Associations
Subject: Peter and the Wolf

Mr Gaines. We confirm that Peter Hobble was bitten by our central defender the Wolfman, when our two sides met in the Cup of Harmony. In fact, we have clear video evidence, from our TV station Tic-Tac Two, which clearly shows the Wolfman biting Hobble whilst in a tangle after a challenge. We, and the Wolfman, will plead guilty to any international court if charges are pressed against us.

However, we have a piece of news which may be very interesting. Having scrawled through the Elrichian archives for the last week, we have found a copy of International Werewolfian Law, drawn up in the 17th Century. We can confirm that this is the still the standard law, and so still remains in place today.

I quote, "And when a peasant, nobleman or a gentleman from any other class are so bitten by the Werewolf, and forthwith becomes a member of the Werewolfian sect, his former identification, birthright and nationionality are lost. He is so treated as a new citizen, as, given that he is of different blood to the previous, he is not the same citizen as he was so previously. The victim is, therefore allowed a choice. He has the opportunity to either keep his previous nationality and identification, or that which his blood now is of. His blood will now be that of the werewolf, and so his blood is that of the nation where the werewolfs originate - the Kingdom Of Elrich. The victim is offered a choice - between staying as a national citizen, or of joining the nation of the Werewolf. In all of time, no-one has ever not chosen the latter."

Unless I read incorrectly, Peter Hobble therefore has the opportunity to become an Elrichian citizen. As a werewolf, he would be protected by Elrichian Law, and become part of a thriving ethnic minority in the Kingdom. All werewolfs yearn to join their kind. I see no reason why Hobble would not be the same. Having scored a goal for the Elrich, has he not shown his true colours already? The transformation between man and werwolf is a slow an painful one. It would therefore be unfair to make him choose betweenour two nations until after the process is complete. However, if he does choose to adopt our nation, he has been registered in our World Cup Squad, and would be eligible to play in the fortcoming tournament for the national side.

We have the full backing of our Government.

Awaiting your response

Bill Murray
Chief Executive
The Kingdom of Elrich FA

Bill smiled to himself. Had his late nights acquired a player who could prove the key to World Cup Qualification? Send.

Not threesy for the Kingdom

60th ranked Elrich will be playing in Group 3 of World Cup qualification. Reaching the finals in Bedistan and Fmjphoenix will prove a tough task, but with the Kingdom the 4th highest ranked team in the group, not impossible.

Group 3
Eauz (6)
Vilita (20)
Milchama (44)
Elrich (60)
Tanah Burung (74)
Hiiraan (93)
Qazox (139)
Dorian and Sonya (211)
Valertinette (211)

Having faced the top three on previous occasions, Mike Bassett will know how difficult these matches will be - but also, on their day, how capable the Kingdom of Elrich are of getting a result. The other 5 have never faced Elrich before, and the botom 3 are almost unknown in the Kingdom. However, they will not be taken lightly, given Elrich's record against the so called "lesser" teams.

SCHEDULE
bold = home

MD1 Qazox
MD2 Valertinette
MD3 Vilita
MD4 BYE
MD5 Hiiraan
MD6 Dorian and Sonya
MD7 Eauz
MD8 Milchama
MD9 Tanah Burung
MD10 Qazox
MD11 Valertinette
MD12 Vilita
MD13 BYE
MD14 Hiiraan
MD15 Dorian and Sonya
MD16 Eauz
MD17 Milchama
MD18 Tanah Burung

"Look at this, Look at this s%@&! You read this?", cried out Francoise Sistene, secret intelligence agent of the Nedalian FA.

"What, the Starblaydian review on the Cup?", replied his fellow secret intelligence agent of the Nedalian FA Ibendem Anstickem.

"No..that was actually quite refreshing. Their always so negative, those Starblaydis. Was surpised when they said we should qualify automatically."

"Yes, they've put us ahead of Commerce Heights. Class act by those folks. Rare to see that from that country though."

"Yes yes, still, nice gesture...anyway, I'm talking about the Audioslavian media. You read that right?"

"Yes, yes I did. Three players from the Lions could play on their team, maybe less, some other garbage."

"And a class below Commerce Heights."

"I wouldnt mind them. What has Audioslavia won again."

"I do believe the answer is nothing."

"Maybe a change of players, perhaps a full crop of Nedalians, would do them some good, considering their masterful record in competitions."

"They did beat us 3-0, though.."

"Man, now you're just getting technical, you know I dont like details."

James Gaines was in his office talking with some lawyers about the situation with Elrich.

"Elrich FA still has not replied, there is not much we can do." states one lawyer

"That's right, it's complicated, but international legalities are not easy. Remember what happened with the Wentland FA?" said the second and only other lawyer.

"So what you're saying is "do nothing" said James very testily...

"No, not exactly, theres alot ot paperwork we have to do. and then alot of strategising and planning and then we can file a suit and then probably a year later it will end up in court."

"And even then we'd have to admit that Peter Hobble is a werewolf.. Just great." exclaimed James

At this point there was a knock on the office door and James secretary came in...

"What is it!" James exclaimed

"Sir, We've got a letter. A letter from Elrich..." she said. James eyes light up..

"Give it to me." almost falling out of his scrambling trying to get at the letter. He picked himself up and the Secretary had put the letter on his desk and was already on the way out.

"thank you." he said as he opened the letter... he read it

"uh... What do you make of this" James said as he handed to the letter to the closest lawyer.

The lawyer passed the letter on to the other lawyer... "There could be dual-citizenship.. Though we need to check up, there way be some issues we have not foreseen."

"But what about the line that says 'his former identification, birthright and nationionality are lost.' queried James

"Hah, It's Elrichian law has no effect on Bazalonian law. But in Elrich eyes Peter Hobble is no longer a Bazalonian, that could cause problems." stated one of the lawyers.

"Well, go and check up that dual-citizenship. I'll write a letter stalling Elrich saying hobble's still un-accounted for."

"Is he?" replied one of the lawyers.

"There is a rumour that he's at home but no confirmed reports." said James

"So theoretically speaking of course, he could be there but people are too scared to approach. Anyway we better get going. We've got some research to do." and with that the laywers went off to do what ever lawyers do in these situations and JAmes Wrote the following letter


Elrich Football Association
Subject: Peter Hobble

We are currently unsure of his current location but we will raise the issue with him once such transformations has taken place. Is there any information available on what will be happening to Peter, so that we can be appraised of the situation once he is found? The matter of legal action has still not been decided and will let you know of any revelant changes on either issue. Thank you

Yours Sincerly, James Gaines
President of the Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Associations

The Emperor's Office, Compound AC-0001, Central Pudite Forest

Mr. White stepped slowly into the Emperors small office, which was unusualy tidy, his usual stacks of paper and forms probably delegated to some unfourtunate secretary somewhere else in the building. In their place there sat a small wireless television, which the Emperor was watching intently, not even noticing his foreign relations officer enter the room.

Mr. White could hear the voices of men and women and some dramatic sounding music, and realised that he was watching the news, strange, becuase the Dominon had no domestic news service.

White stood in the center of the room for a moment, waiting for some cknowledgment of his presence. Realising after a second that his leader was obviously so engrossed by the the international news he coughed a little to catch his attention, who prompty switched the TV off and looked up to the intruder.

"What is it White?" he said, in a slightly bothered tone but otherwise friendly tone.

"Sir, I thought you may be interested to know that I have just recived a copy of our World Cup team's schedule." White, as he was speaking, walked over to the ornate wooden desk on which the television sat, and set the little peice of paper he was holding down beside it. Without waiting for a response Mr. White walked back out of the cramed room, his long white greatcoat sliding around the corner of the simple wooden door of the office as it closed.

The paper read,

TEAM 01, DOMINION, SCHEDULE WC27
DAY - HOME TEAM vs. AWAY TEAM

1st - Lovisa vs. Emperor Pudu
2nd - Emperor Pudu vs. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
3rd - Becquerelia vs. Emperor Pudu
4th - Emperor Pudu vs. Georgeonia
5th - Tadjikistan vs. Emperor Pudu
6th - Emperor Pudu vs. Giant Zucchini
7th - Pastorville vs. Emperor Pudu
8th - Green Wombat vs. Emperor Pudu
9th - BYE
10th - Emperor Pudu vs. Lovisa
11th - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega vs. Emperor Pudu
12th - Emperor Pudu vs. Becquerelia
13th - Georgeonia vs. Emperor Pudu
14th - Emperor Pudu vs. Tadjikistan
15th - Giant Zucchini vs. Emperor Pudu
16th - Emperor Pudu vs. Pastorville
17th - Emperor Pudu vs. Green Wombat
18th - BYE

It is clear that Kirstiriera will have a fight on their hands with the up and coming New Montreal States, but the new Green and White Angels are ready to have another chance at making an impression on the World Stage...

NMS and the others may have a hard time pronouncing out name, but they have more pressing concerns... Cuation has to be very careful of us as well as anyone else in the field. Obviously, we have waited about 2-3 World Cups to finally get this right, but this will be a lot different than the past years.

IC: Will come shortly tomorrow

This an SBC news alert!

After failing to qualify for World cup 25, the Swilatian National Football team has returned to World Cup 27.

We are hope ful that Swilatia will do better this year.

We are already predicting that we will at least get close to qualifying. the people have built the union centre stadium jost for matches in Swilatia, and the first team to compete against us will be Bazalonia, even though it will be used in the Swilatian championship after this world cup.

Our pedictions are:

Rejistania
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rejistania.jpg
A good team. definately going to make it to the WOrld Cup.

Praying2God
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/united_states--56.jpg
we do not have to much hope against them. They obviously did well in world cup 26, much better than we did.

The Archregimancy
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_archregimancy.jpg
A bunch of religious wackos. they will prolly qualyify, even though just from being religious wackos they do not deserve it.

Rordia
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rordia.jpg
We do not know these guys

Swilatia
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg
We hope that Swilatia will qualify, but doubt it.

Bazlonia
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/australia--54.jpg
Unsure

Popolus
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/popolus.jpg
we may not be too good of a team, but we easily beat the weaklings

The footie dream team
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_footie_dream_team.jpg
We'll give them a footie nightmare.

"...That being said, here's my rankings on the groups from hardest to easiest after the first two rounds:

Group 4
Group 8
Group 3
Group 11
Group 7
Group 10
Group 2
Group 5
Group 1
Group 6
Group 9
Group 12

I figure the further down on that list we can get, the better our chances of qualifying are."
(Draw concludes)

The Schiavone Scribe
Ford at it again

The most unpopular Schiavone in international football (though he's not challenged by many for that honour) Michael Ford opened his mouth in public again last night. And, as we all know, that's never a good sign.

His target this time - Bob Janney, the Coach of the national team of Mr Chuck Norris. We'll just quote him, and put in our usual bit about this being the opinion of Mr Ford, and that the Schiavone Scribe cannot be held responsible for anything he says.

"How dare he say that our qualifying group is the easiest one. He obviously hasn't seen the teams in it play recently. Squornshelous are as strong as ever, us and Qutar have progressed like no teams have for years, Kericia are no knockovers, The Macabees are progressing well, and the kittens are a good outside bet. No, I wouldn't say it was easy at all. Stupid newbies, turning up and thinking they know it all. Gour 4 the hardest? Apart from the top two, that's a piece of piss! They can't even get their teams together properly! Hell, one of their players is called ♪! Quaver! It's not even a specific note! Crazy, I tell you..."

Unfortunately, there'll probably be more from Mr Ford as the cup goes on.

Meanwhile, the SFF are repeating their acts of the previous World Cup qualifying campaign by looking to play friendlies on matchdays two and eleven against international teams without a qualifier on those days. Those interested should contact the SFF. Though, preferably for their dakes, not through Michael Ford.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
New Faces, Old Foes
by Rami Niblick in Everton City

THE tumult caused by the loss of a manager and ten players is still being felt two years on. The KFA have installed a caretaker pairing to take charge of the side for the beginning of the qualifiers; it is believed that a new manager will be in place by Matchday Five. In the meantime, however, Britannican Edward Johnson and crash survivor Ian Valacci will be hoping to get the Krytenians off to the best start possible in Group Four. Speaking of which...

Group 4
SARZONIA (4)
MD6 (H) and MD15 (A)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/sarzonia.jpg

We've been here before. Interestingly, the two sides have never met on Sarzonian soil, despite their long history; should make for an interesting tie on Matchday Fifteen.

KRYTENIA (16)
Byes MD2 and MD11
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/krytenia.jpg

A makeshift squad will be doing the honours this time round; however there's plenty of games to get it together, and the team spirit should be sky high as the new boys want to "do the lads proud". Six points off Sarzonia? We can but hope.[/b]

HYPOCRIA (41)
MD7 (H) and MD15 (A)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/hypocria.jpg

Off the pitch, it's all about Edirafgate; on it, a few players will be hoping for revenge for AOCAF Eleven. Let's hope their god-awful Starblaydi-made shirts distract them.

LETHISLAVANIA (55)
MD3 (H) and MD12 (A)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lethislavania.jpg
The Llama Harmers are no patch on the side that faced the Aces a quarter of the centuries; time to get the inflatables out again.

LEGALESE (64)
MD8 (A) and MD17 (H)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/legalese.jpg
Not since the Cup of Harmony many moons ago have the Law faced Krytenia. Remember though, the Krytenians have a 100% record in this fixture: played one, won one.

PALACETONIA (123)
MD4 (A) and MD13 (H)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/england--64.jpg
They wear JMC kits; other than that, we're drawing a blank.

VUAM AND ISMA (187)
MD9 (H) and MD18 (A)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/virgin_islands.jpg
Six points.

RORYSVILLE (209)
MD5 (H) and MD14 (A)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rorysville.jpg
Six points.

REVIVED CONSTANTINOPLE (211)
MD1 (H) and MD10 (A)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/revived_constantinople.jpg
Six points.

D2R in Group 5

Post KPB record holders to go head to head despite currently being at different ends of the spectrum

Dance 2 Revolution found themselves in Group 5 after the dust settled from the World Cup draw, their opponents will be:

Crystilakere (12)

Winners of World Cup 19, and the first Post-KPB ranking system team to do so. They did this at the time of which Dance 2 Revolution were ranked 1st in the world. Obviously, a lot of time has passed since then, and neither team has done anything spectacular. Obvious favourites to qualify. Crystilakere were knocked out in the Quarter Finals after a 3-1 defeat at the hands of Eauz

Spruitland (23)

Spruitland are a team heading straight up. Although never having finished in the top 3, the future is looking bright for this team. Spruitland unfortunately fell in the Group Stages of World Cup 26, being pipped on goal difference by eventual finalists Liverpool England

Cataduanes (40)

Cataduanes are a team that D2R have no knowledge of. However, after surviving a tough qualifying group in WC26 and being eliminated in a tougher still group stage, Cataduanes will be looking up and forward and providing a challenge to the higher ranks in the group.

Tonissia (59)

Unfortunately, D2R know little about Tonissia either. Tonissia had a quite unremarkable WC26, finishing 5th in their group with an even goal difference and level on points with 6th and 7th. D2R will face Tonissia confident of all possibility of gaining points.

Anathematic Republics (79)

The Anathematic Republics are another team in which D2R will go to hoping to show their grit and determination to overthrow higher opposition. One of the more defensive teams in the last cup. Expect few goals.

Dance 2 Revolution (86)

It's us. The first Post-KPB team to reach a final and to appear in the final 3 twice. Crystilakere hold similar records that overshawdowed the achievements made by the Revolutionarian team. Both teams have had different fortunes since their high days, both shadows of their former selves but obvious which one is the better off.

The Solar Association (187) & Nebuleux (209) & UN Peacekeepers (211)

Nothing much is known about the remaining 3 in the group. Looking at the rankings, 2 would appear to be from the Pre-Cup BoF tournament. Expect the UN Peacekeepers to have the best disciplinary record in World Cup History.

Group Prediction*:

Spruitland
Crystilakere
Cataduanes
Dance 2 Revolution
Anathematic Republics
Tonissia
The Solar Association
Nebuleux
UN Peacekeepers

*Best D2R Hopes

Fixtures: (TBI)

Matchday 1 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10526808#post10526808) are now available.

The Daily Druid
The world's leading minor sports publication

HISISIM RETURNS
By Eric Tree

Druida have a team in the World Cup once again! After the almost complete destruction of their nation, and the non-participation during World Cup 26, the nation are back. Though not quite as good as before.

The team is now made up of some of the younger players from their previous squad, along with some of the more promising hisisimites from the monastry.

Now to see who we'll come up against. These are the teams we'll face, in rank order, in a fancy style we copied from someone else. But being a minor publication, we doubt anyone will read it on the other side of Bekk.

Group 1
Jeruselem (14)
The Kingdom of Burgundy
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/jeruselem.jpg

Jeruselem have been around as long as the Druidish Lands, and have slowly (very, very slowly) crept up the rankings to their current position of fourteenth. At this rate, they should win the cup by World Cup 165. Still, they should walk away with a qualifying spot easily.
Prediction: 1st, qualify

New Montreal States (22)
The Kingdom ofthe Midlands
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/new_montreal_states.jpg

The college kids are back again, and this time they've gotten together to gang up on the rest of the world! Play a popular 2-6-2 formation, so expect the game between them and us to be a bit of a midfield tussle.
Prediction: 2nd, qualify

Druida (46)
Atlantian Oceania
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/druida.jpg

Us. We're not as good as we used to be, but still have a fair few good players left.
Prediction: 4th

Cuation (48)
The South Pacific
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/christmas_island--53.jpg

Had an unlucky run during World Cup 26, and we'll be expecting them to look to make amends for that here.
Prediction: 3rd, play-offs

Collonie (78)
FIFA
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/zambia--80.jpg

Some French Idiots. Not that all French are idiots. Or, indeed, all idiots are French.
Prediction: 6th

An Archy (134)
Region 1
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/an_archy.jpg

The team from An Archy are even more sporadic than our beloved Rainbows. So when the two play, expect it to all be a bit clueless.
Prediction: 5th

Atheistic Right (193)
Zurich
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/isle_of_man.jpg

A good nation who share the traditional Druidan atheist beliefs. Only more fundamentally. Won't be too happy about some Druidans' allegiance to the random numer gods, though.
Prediction: 7th

CR Oscilloscopes (205)
Parallel Pacific
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/cr_oscilloscopes.jpg

Some scientific types. Should be able to work it our for themselves that they suck.
Prediction: 8th

Kirstiriera (211)
The Pacific
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/bulgaria.jpg

They shouldn't bother, they're only wasting their own time.
Prediction: 9th

Press Release - Soccer World Onliine Cup Match Day Number 1

EG Inc.

The following are the results of the Soccer World Online Cup Matchday as scored in recently released Soccer World MMO

Group 1

New Montreal States 5-1 Kirstiriera
Druida 4-3 CR Oscilloscopes
Cuation 1-1 Atheistic Right
Collonie 1-2 An Archy


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 New Montreal States 1 1 0 0 5 1 4 3
2 Druida 1 1 0 0 4 3 1 3
3 An Archy 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 Cuation 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 Atheistic Right 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Jerusalem 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 CR Oscilloscopes 1 0 0 1 3 4 -1 0
8 Collonie 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
9 Kirstiriera 1 0 0 1 1 5 -4 0

Group 2

Bettia 4-0 The New Chakovnia
The Kazoo Peoples 2-2 Algal states
Nanakaland 2-0 Risa-Aramour
The Weegies 0-2 Tynelia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bettia 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
2 Tynelia 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
3 Nanakaland 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
4 The Kazoo Peoples 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
5 Algal states 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
6 Total n Utter Insanity 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 The Weegies 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
8 Risa-Aramour 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
9 The New Chakovnia 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0


Group 3

Vilita 5-0 Valertinette
Milchama 4-0 Dorian and Sonya
Elrich 1-1 Qazox
Tanah Burung 1-2 Hiiraan


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Vilita 1 1 0 0 5 0 5 3
2 Milchama 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
3 Hiiraan 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 Qazox 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 Elrich 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Eauz 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Tanah Burung 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
8 Dorian and Sonya 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0
9 Valertinette 1 0 0 1 0 5 -5 0


Group 4

Krytenia 6-0 Revived Constantinople
Hypocria 3-1 Rorysville
Lethislavania 1-0 Vuam and Isma
Legalese 2-2 Palacetonia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Krytenia 1 1 0 0 6 0 6 3
2 Hypocria 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
3 Lethislavania 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
4 Palacetonia 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
5 Legalese 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
6 Sarzonia 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Vuam and Isma 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
8 Rorysville 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
9 Revived Constantinople 1 0 0 1 0 6 -6 0


Group 5

Spruitland 2-1 UN Peacekeepers
Cataduanes 4-0 Nebuleux
Tonissia 1-1 The Solar Association
Anathematic Republics 2-0 Dance 2 Revolution


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Cataduanes 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
2 Anathematic Republics 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
3 Spruitland 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 Tonissia 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 The Solar Association 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Crystilakere 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 UN Peacekeepers 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
8 Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
9 Nebuleux 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0



Group 6

Praying2God 2-0 The Footie Dream Team
The Archregimancy 1-3 Popolus
Rordia 1-1 New Preussen
Swilatia 0-1 Bazalonia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Popolus 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
2 Praying2God 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
3 Bazalonia 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
4 Rordia 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 New Preussen 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Rejistania 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Swilatia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
8 The Archregimancy 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
9 The Footie Dream Team 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0


Group 7

Turori 1-0 The Belmore Family
The Lowland Clans 1-2 TheSuncoastofFlorida
Yafor 2 1-2 Mr Chuck Norris
Rolatia 0-1 Allied Anime Worlds



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 TheSuncoastofFlorida 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
2 Mr Chuck Norris 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
3 Turori 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
4 Allied Anime Worlds 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
5 Liverpool England 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Yafor 2 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
7 The Lowland Clans 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
8 The Belmore Family 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
9 Rolatia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0


Group 8

Oliverry 2-2 Shing-Shang
Wentland 1-2 Priggdom
Spaam 4-2 Obsidianus
East Lithuania 0-0 Haraki

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Spaam 1 1 0 0 4 2 2 3
2 Priggdom 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
3 Shing-Shang 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
4 Oliverry 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
5 Haraki 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
6 East Lithuania 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
7 Starblaydia 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
8 Wentland 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
9 Obsidianus 1 0 0 1 2 4 -2 0


Group 9

Commerce Heights 1-1 Ocmeoub
Nedalia 1-1 Berner Street
Chicanada 2-2 Pedriana
Ariddia 2-0 Kelse


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Ariddia 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
2 Pedriana 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
3 Chicanada 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
4 Ocmeoub 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 Nedalia 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Commerce Heights 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
7 Berner Street 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
8 Audioslavia 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
9 Kelse 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0


Group 10

Casari 3-0 Magnus Valerius
Kaze Progressa 1-1 Crna Gora Liv Eng
Harlesburg 3-2 Imperial Moose
Majeristan 3-3 McPsychoville


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Casari 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
2 Harlesburg 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
3 McPsychoville 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
4 Majeristan 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
5 Kaze Progressa 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Crna Gora Liv Eng 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
7 Hockey Canada 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
8 Imperial Moose 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
9 Magnus Valerius 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0


Group 11

Lovisa 2-0 Emporer Pudu
Giant Zucchini 2-1 Georgeonia
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 2-2 Green wombat
Pastorvillle 1-1 Becquerelia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Lovisa 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
2 Giant Zucchini 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
3 Green wombat 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
4 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
5 Pastorvillle 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Becquerelia 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
7 Tadjikistan 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
8 Georgeonia 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
9 Emporer Pudu 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0


Group 12

Schiavonia 4-1 San Adriano
The Islands of Qutar 2-0 Spaamanian Plijous
Kericia 1-0 Jon Parkin
The Macabees 3-1 Apologetic Kittens


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Schiavonia 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 3
2 The Macabees 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
3 The Islands of Qutar 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
4 Kericia 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
5 Squornshelous 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Jon Parkin 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
7 Apologetic Kittens 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
8 Spaamanian Plijous 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
9 San Adriano 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0


The Soccer World Online Cup while using the same scorinator as the hosts. Will not be using an RP bonus and has a few changes in it's settings. Please do not directly relate these results to the results of any particular match day

Deadbolt Sentinel - Sports
Last-gasp penalty has Minutemen at a loss

In the first game of the 27th World Cup, the McPsychoville Minutemen same so close, only to fall at the eleventh hour. The first half, while uneventful, was hotly contested in the middle of the park. Osiris Benoit and Michel Lysiak were both booked for equally nasty tackles on opposing forwards trying to break through, and more than once the ball was cleared from the goal-lines by heroic defenders. The closest chance for the Minutemen came for Damien Lee - having picking up on a loose ball just inside the Majeristanian penalty box, a result of poor defensive play, his left-foot shot looked almost destined for the bottom corner before goalkeeper Hicham Elkayim tipped it past the post. The resulting corner was headed over by Kelly Marcos, making a rare insurgence into the opposing half.

In the second half, however, everything started to kick off. Barely a minute into the half, Benoit hacked down Eric Mattson, and to a chorus of boos from the home side, the referee had little choice but to brandish the red card. Even with a man advantage, the Minutemen were unable to capitalize - Wade Matvichuk, in particular, looked lost, and was substituted just after the hour mark for Dylan Summers. Before he could do any damage, however, Lysiak reacted badly to a comment from a Majeristanian fan - he tried to climb over the barricade, and when restrained by Nur Horacio, punched the veteran defender. The second red card was elementary. Precisely why Lysiak reacted as he did is as yet unknown.

Now with equal numbers, the Minutemen still tried to push against the Majeristanian defensive wall, but without success. Then, with less than two minutes to go in the half, Hakan el Dajani latched onto a long ball from Joe Taylor - despite the cries for offside from the vocal McPsychovillian fans - and was brought down in the area by goalkeeper Brandon Silver. Silver was only shown a yellow, but had given away a crucial penalty; he had seemed to acquit himself by getting down to the first shot, but el Dajani was able to get to the rebound and bury it. The Majeristanian fans went crazy; the McPsychovillians could only look on in despair.

McPsychovillian Man of the Match - Daniel Sabin. Even though he had little success with his attacking ventures, he was more than happy to drop back and stop any Majeristanian attacks before they could gain any momentum.

"Bazalopes Draw Swilatia" by Nev Gould

With Peter Hobble still unaccounted for the Bazalopes hopes against the 69th ranked team Swilatia looked doubtful. There where rumours that he was actually home. But when officials finally got up the courage to check if these rumours where true or not Hobble was no where to be seen. We can only speculate what is going through his mind at this stage. However without their star striker the Bazalopes still managed to end up with a 1 all draw against Swilatia. The Bazalopes defense was fairly strong, only allowing the Swilatian goal after "The Bandit" swore that he had seen Peter in the stand during the 57th minute letting a Swilatian Forward pass without a challenge.


The Bazalopes goal, was scored after that during a counter attack. It was a pretty good sight to see, the team worked together, had quite a good plan of attack and managed to fool the Swilatian keeper into moving forward into moving too far forward, James Kantwell received a quick pass from the middle and performed a wide-angle kick. The goalie scrambled back but just did not make it. It seems that everyone had kicked up a level compensating for the so far apparent loss of Peter Hobble.

--------

SWOC Matchday 1 on the BFSA President Secretaries computer...

"Go... Yes, I got the ball... And shoot and yes and once again the crowd goes wild for Peter Hobble scoring 2 goals.." said the secretary as she was giving a running commentary on her 'character' in the Soccer World Online Cup. It was Peter Hobble. Pre-Werewolf Peter Hobble. James Gaines poked his head out of his office as he heard the Secretary mention Peter's name.

"What did I hear about Peter?" he asked...

"Oh, er Nothing, Sir." she replied.

"I Distinctly heard you mention Peter Hobble, now spit it out."

"okay, In fact there is no news at all on Peter Hobble. Infact as far as I can tell no one has even gone around his place. I mentioned Peter Hobble, because I am playing him in EG Inc's new Soccer MMORPG, Soccer World. They are sorta duplicating the World Cup, but online. In fact we are playing Swilatia. And I think We're going to win." she replied.

"oh,, ah... okay then." he stated. At any other time he would have at least checked that she did not have work to do but whatever was going on with Hobble was occupying his thoughts. The online result against Swilatia was a win if only this result was the real result maybe that would improve the mood around here.

KIRSTIRIERA GIVES PALADINS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY

Pilon breaks scoreless tie at 60 minutes to put NMS over the top

NEW MONTREAL - What was supposed to be an easy opener to the qualifiers here at the Paladin Dome turned into a thrilling near-upset as the Green and White Angels of Kirstiriera fell 1-0 to the Paladins after warning everyone in the field to "be careful of them."

They then put their money where their mouth was, slashing the Paladins back on their heels and forcing Chasson to display some brilliance in the net early on. NMS was forced to spend the first half regrouping and slowly pushing back while William Branstone blew a gasket on the sidelines. When the Angels defense shut down a Paladins offensive just before the half, Branstone responded by yanking forward Hubert Labranche and bringing up Charles Pilon from the midfield over the half.

The move paid off, as the Paladins found some offensive spark, cumulating in Pilon's 60th minute goal past an out-of-postion Angels keeper. The Paladins then fell back on their midfield to control the match, stubbing the ball around the neutral zone for most of the rest of the match while a determined Angels defense kept the Paladins from expanding their lead.

Coach William Branstone and his players refused comment after the match, and we can be sure that the bye will not be a pleasant one for the Paladins, as Branstone exacts punishment for a truly horrendous first half.

PALADINS 1 - Pilon 60
KIRSTIRIERA 0

Almost an upset as Druida squeak past
Druida 1-0 CR Oscilloscopes

The CR Oscilloscopes national football team today came close to their biggest ever result. The team held the highly ranking Druida at 0-0 for much of the game, despite heavy pressure, before finally succumbing to a well taken goal in the 72nd minute. It was heartbreak for the CR Oscilloscopes' fans who were behind their team from start, and desperately hoping to come away with a draw or maybe even more.

Team manager Herl Werter described the performance as 'heroic', and thanked the players and fans for 'inspiring the best 90 minutes of football the country had ever seen'. The captain, defender Jürgen Fisher, voted goalkeeper Colin Thomasson as man of the match, for a number of outstanding saves throughout the game.

The result, whilst leaving CR Oscilloscopes bottom of their group, does offer hope for the fans, who saw their team play so abysmally in the Baptism of Fire. The next match up, is against Collonie , who lie in fourth after a 2-2 draw with An Archy.

Ariddia off to a shaky start

It was the match which, their coach had said, would set the tone for Ariddia’s performance throughout the Cup. If true, it’s going to be something of a struggle, and not what the Rouge-et-Noirs had been hoping for.

The Ariddians seemed in good spirits as they faced their adversaries from Kelse on home ground, in front of an enthusiastic Ariddian crowd. The line-up was the usual starting eleven, confirming that the team’s talented Hanifah Kyaw would not automatically be fielded at the start of each match. After the anthems, the eleven Ariddians, led by their Indigenous captain Ue Alt, performed the ulek with a ferocious enthusiasm to match that of the cheering supporters.

The Rouge-et-Noirs stood in a semi-circle facing their Kelsean opponents, seeming about to close in on them. Then, leaning forward, somehow maintaining their balance, they began to chant, leap up and dance in seemingly wild yet well-choreographed movements. It was the moment the crowd had been waiting for, as eleven voices carried powerfully through the Stade National Rêvane-Sud, hurling their challenge at their opponents, rising to a menacing, frenzied crescendo.

“Llseh! Llseh!
Swehashi llosh e lueal o!
Wo’el yeual o!
Al llseh! Al llseh!
Wul ellul sel ei! Wul!
Silew wa oleh!
Sah wa weheshisi!
Sah wa weheshisi!”

Then the game began, and the Ariddians’ fervour seemed to carry them forth, as they pressed forward in attack from the very first minutes of the game, Ramirez eliciting cheers of encouragement as her shot narrowly skirted the crossbar in the sixth minute. At the opposite end of the field, al Jahdali seemed in top form, as he kept opportunities few for Kelsean attackers.

By the twenty-eighth minute, everyone seemed to feel a goal was only a matter of time, and Swimmer rewarded the supporters’ patience by slipping through the nets of Kelse’s defence and opening the score in style, well served by a pass from Faraj.

Ariddia’s elation did not last long, however, as the Kelseans rallied, and retaliated with an impressive display of playing, with Santena equalising by the thirty-seventh minute. After that, opportunities were narrowly missed by both sides, and gradually dwindled until the game closed on a draw.

“It’s. . . disappointing,” Seul admitted. “We’ll have to do much better than that if we expect to have a chance in this competition. There’s still time, though, and we’re going to be working hard to improve our performance in the coming matches.”

San Adriano scores a goal!
Princess Serena congratulates national team

The game lasted over ninety minutes, but, for the dozens of Sanadrianese fans excitedly following the match live on television back home, it is likely only the forty-first minute will be remembered, and commented on over and over again during the coming weeks.

As promised, Princess Serena herself was present, seated in the box of honour in the Schiavonian stadium. All in all, twenty-one other Sanadrianese supporters were present in the foreign stadium, a staggering 5.1% of the tiny nation’s entire population. They waved the Sanadrianese flag proudly, despite being lost amidst thousands of Schiavonian home supporters – with more Schiavonians in the stadium than there are Sanadrianese anywhere on the planet.

The faces of the players were, for the most part, glowing as the camera panned over them during the national anthem, which they sang, often out of key but enthusiastically. Princess Serena, as expected, stood during the anthem. It has been speculated that her presence must have complicated security measures and preparations for the Schiavonian authorities, but there has been no comment on that matter so far. Nor is it known whether the Princess has met with the Schiavonian Head of State, President Mike Frome.

The game began, as expected, with the Sanadrianese being thoroughly outclassed by their Schiavonian opponents, but putting up a brave fight nonetheless. No-one was surprised when Tony Tarmey opened the score for the home side; Sanadrianese fans seemed content merely to watch their national team play, for the first time ever.

With five defenders and only one attacker, San Adriano was trying mainly to limit the number of goals it conceded, and its tight-knit defence succeeded in repelling several attacks on Vincenzo Adani’s goal cage. Carla Wo was shown a yellow card for a clumsy tackle on Paolo Di Mascherenasi, and politely apologised to the Schiavonian and the referee alike.

There was a spurt of excitement amongst the tiny number of Sanadrianese supporters in the stadium as the team’s captain and sole attacker, Et Wih, succeeded in breaking through in the thirty-fifth minute and getting off a well-aimed shot on goal, and the cheers were not dampened by the fact goalkeeer Ben Kershaw was able to save it. A few minutes after that, Wih repeated his performance, after Mathijsen outran Marsden and passed him the ball on a well-aimed angle, enabling Wih to kick it right past Kershaw and score San Adriano’s first ever goal. The country’s twenty-odd supporters in the stadium went wild, and Wih and Mathijsen’s team mates rushed round to congratulate them. San Adriano was still down by one goal to two, which became one to three by the end of the match, but it hardly seemed to matter. Nobody had expected them to win. But the nation had been treated to the sight of their national team scoring a goal in its first international match, against a highly skilled opponent, and they could not have asked for more.

“They played very well,” Princess Serena said, speaking in Wymgani during a brief interview with the press after the match, and displaying her usual, calm gracefulness. “They’ve made Sanadrianese everywhere very proud.”

Et Wih’s only comment was that he was “overjoyed”, and “looking forward very much to the next match”.

bazalonia i do believe you have the wrong score up here because on the scores thread i had a draw with milchama where it was post from bedistan for the first match of world cup 27..:eek:

bazalonia i do believe you have the wrong score up here because on the scores thread i had a draw with milchama where it was post from bedistan for the first match of world cup 27..:eek:

(OOC: Read the disclaimer: those are fake scores he's posting as an RP from some "online" version of the WC.)

bazalonia i do believe you have the wrong score up here because on the scores thread i had a draw with milchama where it was post from bedistan for the first match of world cup 27..:eek:

The following are the results of the Soccer World Online Cup Matchday as scored in recently released Soccer World MMO

<snip>

The Soccer World Online Cup while using the same scorinator as the hosts. Will not be using an RP bonus and has a few changes in it's settings. Please do not directly relate these results to the results of any particular match day

OOC: Baz is doing his own little scorination alongside the actual one, just for fun, like, using a World Cup game some boffins in his nation have ICly created.

occ. thank you liverpool for the answer and here i thought that i was losing it when i saw the two different score tables for the game i got lost.

Crna Gora Liv Eng make unimpressive debut
Crna Gora Liv Eng fell 3-0 away to Kaze Progressa despite playing the team's best, and most suited, tactic, the 5-2-2-1. The team, making their international football debut having been called into World Cup 27 to make up the numbers, showed little grace as they quickly fell behind after just 6 minutes, Oleksandr Havel getting the unlucky last touch to knock a Progressan cross into the net past the straded Pavel Domen.

Bogdan Karel, playing in an unaccustomed role in the centre of midfield, then failed to clear a poor pass from his defence out into the Progressan half, and the Progressans capitalised. Pavel Domen brought down #14 in the box, and was sent off for a professional foul after just 19 minutes. Dominik Baldo then replaced lone striker Zvonko Viktor Aleksander, and saved the penalty, only for a botched clearancwe out for a corner to be put into the net by the very unlucky Vilhelmo Gorgi Alexej.

Kaze Progressa scored a third seven minutes later, when the floodlights went out. The referee ordered the match over, and called the score to remain 3-0 - much to the relief of the Crna Gora players, hoping they wouldn't need to fall further behind.

FINAL SCORE
MATCH ABNDONED AFTER 29 MINUTES
KAZE PROGRESSA 3 (Havel o.g. 7', Alexej o.g. 21', #9 28')
CRNA GORA LIV ENG 0 (Domen sent off 19')

Full Fixture List
MD01: Away at Kaze Progressa (0-3)
MD02: Majeristan (H) - National Stadium, CCL, Liverpool England (OOC: Neutral-home ground, like Iraq in UAE or Palestine in Jordan, although Crna Gora Liv Eng does have a stadium to itself), cap 340,000 (fully expanded), otherwise 285,000
MD03: Away at Imperial Moose
MD04: Away at Magnus Valerius
MD05: Away at Casari
MD06: Harlesburg (H) - Crna Gora Stadium, Podgorica City, Crna Gora Liv Eng, capacity 16000
MD07: Away at McPsychoville
MD08: BYE
MD09: Away at Hockey Canada
MD10: Kaze Progressa (H) - Grovers Park, Orean, Liverpool England, cap 210,000
MD11: Away at Majeristan
MD12: Imperial Moose (H) - Crna Gora Stadium
MD13: Magnus Valerius (H) - Crna Gora Stadium
MD14: Casari (H) - National Stadium, CCL, Liverpool England
MD15: Away at Harlesburg
MD16: McPsychoville (H) - Crna Gora Stadium
MD17: BYE
MD18: Hockey Canada (H) - Grovers Park, Orea, Liverpool England

SBC News Alert!

Today Swilatia has had its first WC27 qualification match, and many Swilatians attended the match, in fact more then the intended capacity of the union centre statium, and there was an even greater television audience.

The match was against bazalonia. Swilatian players were fighting hard to get many goals, with one even recieving a yellow card.

At the end however, the match was a simple 1 to 1 draw. this was not too good of a start for Swilatia.

Well, even thought the Swilatian National Football Team did not win the match, at least we were not defeated.

The swilatian national football team is currently in position 4 in its group. we hope swilatia will make it to the world cup.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

3-0 win over Magnus Valerius gets qualifying off to decent start
Won done in absense of Hill, expected to return for match against Harlesburg

On a day where the stomach flu kept the General Manager and Coach of the Casaran National Team Vivica Hill off the sidelines. Assistant Coach Greg Ruhlman ran the team and managed them to a 3-0 win over Magnus Valerius.

"I'd have to say we played an excellent match, one that bodes well for the rest of our upcoming qualifying matches." Ruhlman said during the traditional post-match interview. "And although we all miss Andy a lot, our success shows that the team can perform even without him leading us on the pitch."

The match was an example of Casaran Domination from beginning to end, with a pair of early goals from Roe and Saienz in the 14th and 17th minutes. From there, continued but light Casaran pressure seemed to have the match in hand. Sub Jared Livingston managed to bring the score up and close the scoring with a 78th minute goal where he broke past the final defender and hit the bottom-left corner from 12 yards out.

The match today also lent a little credit to those who say that Vivica Hill is no longer necessary in order to lead and push the team on to greater success in the future. While Hill has been by far the most successful coach that the Casaran National team has had in it's short history and is responsible for all of it's recent success, some are of the opinion that she has taken the team as far as it can go.

However, the fact that this entire team has been crafted, built, and trained by Hill herself, most of the complaints of the anti-Hill crowd have little teeth, as they have only recently found someone popular enough to take her place at the top in the person of recent retiree Andy Ronalo.

Kittens Make Steady Start

Whilst not exactly going out and showing the internation community that we're the best team around, the Kittens at least made sure everyone knew that they couldn't be sunk so easily.

There have been mixed reactions to the group the Kittens find themselves in, with the Kittens themselves seeing a top half finish as viable. Schiavonia, currently topping the group, have admitted that the Kittens pose a threat and that the players can sometimes spring a win even when hopelessly outclassed. However Squornshelous have effectively written the opposition off as a threat. The men from APK will be hoping to show them that they're no pushovers, and the group is wide open.

This belief has come from the opening match of the campaign for the Kittens, a rather dull 0-0 with The Macabees. Whilst the strong defence of the opposition stifled the Kittens attacking flair for much of the game, sparks of genius were occasionally seen from both sides, who will each be hoping to put a dent in the armour of the group favourites.

OOC: This post may seem a bit sparse. With no RP or roster posts by East Lithuania, and no goals by me, I don't have much to go on.





The Hawks struggled off the field after a hard game, with a 2-0 victory going to the home team, East Lithuania. The entire crowd was still cheering for the Lithuanians as the Hawks, at a loss for both words and points, left the field for their dressing room.

Goalkeeper Mark Stone had not been in his finest form. Ever since his forfeiture of the Baptism of Fire championship for his team, his confidence had been shaky and he'd been performing worse and worse on the field. This loss would most likely only sink him further into shock and dismay. The Harakians, who had entered the field so hopeful, left the field so ashamed. Although the East Lithuanians were consistently ranked much higher than the Harakians, their individual players had performed so well in club play and the team had performed so well in the Baptism of Fire that many had their hopes up. But the game itself had been slightly disappointing on all counts.

The Lithuanians had gotten the kickoff and decided to take the tap first. Seeing Haraki's game tapes that showed a strong first half, slackening off into a weaker middle and end game, they knew if they could keep the ball as far away from the Harakians as possible in the beginning, they should be able to get a lead later on and hold it. They managed to retain posession for the first fifteen minutes, before centre Thomas Neils stole it from an opposing midfield and passed a long pass up to Samuel Sharp, who kicked for a goal. It was not a quality kick, and was easily stopped. But when the keeper tossed the ball out to a defenceman, Mike Zendar appeared out of nowhere and kicked a quality shot. The keeper barely got his hands on it, to a collective shout of disappointment from the Harakian cheering section, and did not make the same mistake twice. He made a long kick out to a midfield, who safely cleared it down the field.

At twenty-eight minutes in, midfield Manual Cortes faced off against an opposition midfield. Cortes made a slide kick to try and knock the ball away, only to have it taken away from right in front of his foot. The midfield was all on his own, with only Harakian defenceman Sandy Thorpe in between him and the net. Thorpe, a big but slow man in both the feet and the head, was easily dodged aside, and the ball was kicked. Stone dove for it but the ball slipped between his hands and East Lithuania managed their first goal of the Cup.

The rest of the first half progressed without event, leading into a tense halftime with both coaches giving their teams a good talking-to. As the second half recommenced, the Harakians kicked off and tried an aggressive offense that culminated in Samantha Ribald being given a good opportunity for a shot, which she took. The keeper stopped it with some slight difficulty and made an easy clearance kick.

By seventy minutes, both teams were tired. The ball in the second half had spent fairly equal time in posession of each team, and both were trying anxiously for a goal. But even Harakian captain Mike Zendar couldn't manage to rally his troops for the rest of the game. At seventy-one minutes in, a long pass ended with a one-timer shot by a Lithuanian forward, which whizzed into the corner of the Harakian net. With screams from the home crowd and boos from the Hawks fans, the Lithuanians got a two goal lead that they maintained for the rest of the game. With twenty minutes left to play, the Hawks pulled out all the stops but couldn't break through enough times to score one goal, let alone two. With the end of the game, the Hawks left, soundly defeated by what had turned out to be a superior team.

Haraki 0 - East Lithuania 2

(29) Lithuanian Midfield
(71) Lithuanian Forward



Before the flight back to Atherlon, where the Hawks would spend the next while practising for the next world cup game, in the nation of Obsidianus, coach Lloyd Vargas made a brief statement to the Haraki News Network reporter on the scene, Sam Sherman - who was also the HNN Sports Analyst. In fact, the HNN seemed to be so apathetic about international sports of any kind that they only employed one person to fill all the roles.

"Well, I think the team played a good game. We were beaten, but we lost with finesse and skill. I think if we just step our game up every time we play, we can get ourselves a fairly high spot up on the list. I look forward to our rematch against East Lithuania, back home in Haraki."

When asked about why he had not yet released information on the home playing field, Vargas cursed under his breath. "I knew I was forgetting something. Yes, for all those out there, the Haraki team's home stadium is in the capitol of Atherlon's Champion Field. I just hope we'll live up to its name. No more questions. And lose some weight."

Sam Sherman gave a sheepish look to the camera, and Vargas walked away to join his team on the Hawks' bus back to the airport.

DREAM TEAM GETS RUDE AWAKENING FROM WARRIORS

The Footie Dream Team played a flawless first half against the Praying2God Warriors, but were unable to repeat their effort in the second half and the Warriors walked all over them to win their WC XXVII opener 2-0. Sarah Larson made six saves for the shutout. The Warriors had troubles putting the ball on net in the first half, especially as Thomas Larson was trying to get others to score. His efforts were finally rewarded in the 58th minute when Kelly Carter finally managed to head his cross into the net for a 1-0 lead. Thomas made in 2-0 himself in the 71st minute on a cross from Brittany Law. The Warriors get some additional time to get ready for their next match, when Rordia comes to the House of Prayer.

Part One: Pre Game-One, Post Draw Preview

Centrifuge Sports presents out predictions for Group 11 .

Group 11

Tadjikstan (9)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/tadjikistan.jpg

Tadjikistan uses a 3-4-3 formation. The team's top player has retired, and the starting line-up is made up of a mix of very young and very old players. They should win the group, but it may be close.
Prediction: First, Qualify

Lovisa (17)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovisa.jpg

Their reputation precedes them, even if their roster doesn't.
Prediction: Third, Play-Off

Giant Zucchini (32)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/giant_zucchini.jpg

Using a multi-faceted 1-2-1-2-1-3. Experienced, talented, and full of promise, they could go very far in the Cup.
Prediction: Second, Playoffs

Androssa Se Mitrin Vega (58)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/andossa_se_mitrin_vega.jpg

Right on the ol' stick this time around, could be a thorn in many teams sides. Team is made up of solid, but fairly unspectacular players in a 5-3-2 formation.
Prediction: Fifth

Pastorville (63)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/united_states--56.jpg

Uses a extremly ultradefensive 7-2-1. Apart from the unique playing style, they seem very anonymous.
Prediction: Sixth

Becquerelia (133)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/becquerelia.jpg

We here at the Centrifuge Network are feeling fairly optimistic about the team's chances. Not "deep into the playoffs" optimistic, but "make a lot a noise but fall short" optimistic.
Prediction: Fourth

Green wombat (135)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/green_wombat.jpg

A surprising third in the Baptism Of Fire tournament (beating Becquerelia in the third-place game). The Becquerelia-Green wombat games will be highly anticipated and full of excitement.
Prediction: Seventh

Georgeonia (211)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/georgeonia.jpg

Went 0-5 in the Baptism Of Fire, scored two goals, allowed nine. Becquerelia beat them once then, and should beat them twice here.
Prediction: Ninth

Emporer Pudu (211)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/st_kitts_and_nevis.jpg

5-3-2, fairly defensive style, good, but highly inexperienced players...this seems familiar.
Prediction: Eighth

And Becquerelia's schedule:

MD01: at Pastorville (63)
MD02: at Green wombat (135)
MD03: vs. Emporer Pudu (211)
MD04: vs. Lovisa (17)
MD05: at Androssa Se Mitrin Vega (58)
MD06: BYE
MD07: vs. Georgeonia (211)
MD08: vs. Tadjikstan (9)
MD09: at Giant Zucchini (32)
MD10: vs. Pastorville (63)
MD11: vs. Green wombat (135)
MD12: at Emporer Pudu (211)
MD13: at Lovisa (17)
MD14: vs. Androssa Se Mitrin Vega (58)
MD15: BYE
MD16: at Georgeonia (211)
MD17: at Tadjikstan (9)
MD18: vs. Giant Zucchini (32)

Next time on The "in which Becquerelia makes several long posts to catch-up with everyone" Omnibus: Part Two: After Game One.

Jeruselem Government News

Day Uno of World Cup XXVII

It's that time of the year again. World Cup time. If you don't like soccer, tough!

GROUP ONE
New Montreal States 1-0 Kirstiriera
Druida 1-0 CR Oscilloscopes
Cuation 2-1 Atheistic Right
Collonie 2-2 An Archy


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Cuation 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
2 New Montreal States 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
3 Druida 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
4 Collonie 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
5 An Archy 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
6 Jeruselem 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Atheistic Right 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
8 Kirstiriera 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
9 CR Oscilloscopes 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0


Jeruselem sixth! Don't worry, we didn't play a single game was we had the bye so it's not a problem. Note the 0 games column for those who failed Mathes.

All in all, no surprises although Collonie should have won their game instead of drawing it. New Montreal States, Druida and Cuation all won in narrow wins so the and bottom half of the table look all right, apart of Jeruselem being 6th due to no games played. No team scored more than 2 goals, reflecting the rather less than pointy ended nature of this group.

Wep play next round and have round 10 as a bye later, so no byes at the end of campaign like World Cup 26.

GROUP NINE
Commerce Heights 3-0 Ocmeoub
Nedalia 3-1 Berner Street
Chicanada 1-0 Pedriana
Ariddia 1-1 Kelse


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Commerce Heights 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
2 Nedalia 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
3 Chicanada 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
4 Kelse 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 Ariddia 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Audioslavia 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Pedriana 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
8 Berner Street 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
9 Ocmeoub 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0


Go Lions! A nice big win over Berner Street 3-1, just what the Lions fans expect to see. Class win but it was over a low ranked team which is good news as these teams trip up the Lions sometimes. Audioslavia are sixth because they didn't play and had the bye like us.

No surprises here either apart from Ariddia scrapping a draw with Kelse. Commerce Heights lead the pack like they sometimes do. This group looks more goal orientated than ours.

GROUP TEN
Casari 3-0 Magnus Valerius
Kaze Progressa 3-0 Crna Gora Liv Eng
Harlesburg 1-2 Imperial Moose
Majeristan 1-0 McPsychoville


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kaze Progressa 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
2 Casari 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
3 Imperial Moose 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 Majeristan 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
5 Hockey Canada 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Harlesburg 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
7 McPsychoville 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
8 Magnus Valerius 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0
9 Crna Gora Liv Eng 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0


Oh look, Hockey Canada 5th ... because they had the bye too. No real shockers either apart from Harlesburg. They got trampled by an Imperial Moose 1-2 and have started badly while KP and Casari get their campaigns in the winning track. McPsychoville lost but at this level, low ranked teams are not consistent at all.

Looking good so far for the usual suspects.

Mystical Unicorns Earn Draw Against Milchama

Queen Sonya sat at the table awaiting her dinner to be served. Instead a pigeon flew in through the window. Here is the message it bore:

Most Royal Highness of the Kingdom,

It is with great honor that I relate to you the news that our girls have done the impossible today and earned a draw with the exalted nation of Milchama. From the beginning of the match (I hope that is the right word) our girls were ever on the move, pushing that funny looking little ball down the field.

Milchama, it seems, was not ready for such a furious assault and never really made it to their game plan. Our very own Altáriël Telperiën even kicked the ball into the net in something called the 74th minute. The end result was an even score. Great news for the Kingdom!

With great humilty in service to the crown,
Neodar.

Queen Sonya read the message silently. Then she read it again.

"Holy Hell!! The pep talk actually worked this time. Now what do I say to them about Tanah Burung?"

Green Wombat Gumbo Served In ASMV

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network

The Sea Dragons were ready to roar as they opened play in their newly completed Stadii Se Draggonni Arcea against Green Wombat today. This time around the squad was finally seasoned as well, being the same exact unit that competed in WC26. Team officials believe this 0experience and stability will make the difference for ASMV this time.

Offense thrill the crowd and Defense wins Championships. At least that is the theology of our squad. And a 1-0 victory is just fine with everyone here. That defense paid off today as Green Wombat struggled the entire match, looking very much straight off the BoF. One Wombat player was even heard saying that he wanted to go back to that tourney.

The one goal ASMV needed came in the 32nd minute as MalachI James slipped into the clear to receive a brilliant pass from captain Evan Evans. The Green Wombat keeper seemed to be petrified as the shot easily found the middle of the net.

Then the Sea Dragon defense turned up the heat. Unami Banta-N’bai was named Man of the Match, following a performance that left Green Wombat fans everywhere wondering if they would even see a decent shot. Unori (Unami’s brother) and Micah Swift were also brilliant on defense. Keeper Shaun Conarky easily handled all three Wombat shots that managed to find their way to him.

In the end, The Sea Dragons did dine on their favorite snack - Green Wombat.

Next up for the Sea Dragons - a trip to Emporer Pudu. This should be another easy six points for our side. Hmmmmm………Pudu. Sounds earily like another word that begins with D.

This has been Kellan Kildan. See you next time.

<The ARFA Sports logo and music comes back on the TV and then cuts once again to the Darkened studio where the lights come up to once again reveal Charles & Darwin>

"Welcome to ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around, I'm Charles." - Charles

"And I'm Darwin, Welcome to the Coverage of Matchday 1 of the World Cup. We have a new innnovation today, something we call the 'tickline', do you want to explain it Charles?" - Darwin

"Pretty, much see that line at the bottom of the screen? That will show all the scores for every match undertaken today in the World Cup Qualifiers. Starting with Group 1 and going right through to Group 12 then repeating." - Charles

"Ah,there we go. As you can see by looking down at the tickline our Archeopteri lost to the Cuation team, do you want to give an overview of the game for our watchers, Charles?" - Darwin

"Well, we managed to score our first goal early in the match but then the Cuation defense seemed to form a solid wall and nothing that our forwards did where able to get through. Let's go to the Video for it." - Charles (in fact, it was not the Cuation defense but sloppy fundamentals that let the forwards down)

<Cut to video>

Snakes slithering seemed pale to what it was in the Baptism of Fire, but that was most likely caused by the comparison between the Cuation side instead of the other BoFites.. Snake passes it ahead to Scorpion who quickly strikes at the goal. And some how manages to get through not only to the goal keeper but past and into the back of the net.

<cut back to the Studio>

"That was in the 16th minute. But the Cuation team managed to score a goal seconds before halftime and another one somewhere in the middle of the 2nd half." - Darwin (40th minute, 67th minute)

"There is another story related to ARFA Sports tonight and it has nothing really to do with the World Cup but with a nation called Bazalonia." - Charles

"Yes Charles, Bazalonia Approximately 80 ranks ahead of us in the WCC rankings. A company from there, calling itself EG Inc. has not only released a soccer game but has also instituted a "Soccer World Online Cup" which is essentially the World Cup played as an MMORPG. So what does Soccer World have to do with the news tonight?" - Darwin

"Well, in that particular game the Cuation team did not score their second goal. meaning that we drew with them. So this raises the question is Online Football the way to go? Is that the next step in the evolutionary tree of this game? Only time will tell. I'm Charles." - Charles

And I'm Darwin, thank you for realising the ARFA Sports IS Your Strongest News Around. See you next time."

<The Studio Faded> and Dancing With Scissors came on where a couple nearly had a deadly accident. Though it only ended up with them going to the hospital.>

[OOC: Sorry for any confusion about the Soccer World Online Cup.... and please don't hesitate to have a character involved or refer to it in a TV report or a newspaper article... Thanks.]

One of the things that James Gaines did while trying to figure out the Hobble Situation in his head was to pull out the Elrich roster that was somewhere in a file and went over it.

He Grumbled... "I don't care about Werewolfian rights, or whatever the term they used. Just biting someone on the neck and then roping them into your team is against the WCC rules and it should not happen."

He sat down and wrote the following letter and sent it off to the appropriate address.


WCC President
WCC Headquarters

Dear President of the World Cup Commitee,

After an incident in the Cup of Harmony. Elrich's "Wolfman" has infected our Peter Hobble with it's curse of Lycanthropy as a result they are now claiming that Peter is now an Elrich Citizen, and according to Elrich law is no longer to be considered a Bazalonian. To this end they have included Peter Hobble in their own roster and have given him a number.

The WCC cannot let this go un-punished Elrich just can't get their wolfman to bite into other team's star player as Peter Hobble is for Bazalonia and claim him or her, as the case may be for their own. Elrich must be repremanded and actions must be taken to make Elrich and the Wolfman from taking this action it may already be too late for Peter Hobble, but we will not let him go with out a fight and without Elrich paying the price.

Thank you

Yours Sincerly, James Gaines
President of the Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Associations


OOC: First I need to say Atheistic right is my puppet so the comment about confusion relates to the Soccer World Online Cup.. 2nd Peter Hobble will end up being an Elrichian. So any decisions made please take that into mind. Thanks

Catamak Stadium, City of Segovia
http://www.geocities.com/realmadridsite/Bernabeu.jpg
0-0 Draw

Udo Koch silently trudged on the green fields of Catamak, peturbed by today's unwelcome draw against an opponent the Empire would have rather won against. In fact, the only consolidation in the entire thing was that they were firmly in fourth place, although still tied to the team they had drawn against today, obviously. Although, truth be told, it wasn't as bad as a loss would have been, the team was rather vexed about the fact that they had even lost, especially against a team like Apologetic Kittens. Then again, this exact underestimation of the opponent had caused the debacle against Crendonia in the Cup of Harmony, sometime ago. With that in mind, Koch lathargically made his way off the field and into the team locker building in the wonderfully constructed football stadium. He looked behind him once more, to look at the fields of disgrance, and then continued marching. Mannerheim, a hero that had not heroically saved the day this time, walked up behind him and put his hand on Koch's shoulder, saying, "At least we didn't lose."

Koch looked at him and rolled his eyes, "That's what you always say." The steady optimism of the team captain, Otto Mannerheim, was getting annoying within the ranks, as for two world cups Mannerheim had been stressing that with a good attitude the team would pull through. Unfortunately, the team had never pulled through. Given, however, this was only their third world cup.

As all the team members slowly made their way, rather gloomly, into the locker room, head coach Leo Benz stormed in, anger written all over his reddened face. He barked, "Good job out there, you manage to tie. It looks like that's what we always manage."

Mannerheim rose his voice, "Hey, calm down. This isn't the first time -"

"Of course it isn't the first time. You guys never seem to improve, " Benz retorted, rather rudely. His anger didn't subside as he paced around, and he continued, "Tomorrow we're playing Spaamanian Plijous, in their home. If we lose, we also lose all hope for pulling off anything magnificent in this world cup, so prepare yourselfs. I want us to press them really hard, and strike at all times - we need full possession of the ball, and I want you to take all the chance you need to take to put those balls in. Understood?"

The rest of the team just sort of nodded their heads in agreement, and Kahn asked, "How did Spaamanian Plijous do today?"

Benz, refreshed, responded, "They lost against Qutar. But only against one point. You better do as well as you did today - we can't afford a single goal my friend." Kahn looked away while nodding a bit, showing his approval. Derik Vander, the back-up goalie, got up and left, obviously maddened that he had not been chosen for the next game. Honestly, the times he had been subbed in, he had shown no real superiority in his job over Khan, and Kahn, the legendary goalkeeper for the Fedala Imperials, was kept due to coach approval and popular approval. It was much the same for Otto Mannerheim.

Benz looked at Jon Ferech and said, "Tomorrow you're replacing Keitel as midfielder for the first half." Keitel looked at Ferech and then began to tender his injured foot, which he twisted on the field. Certainly, things absolutely did not look good for their next day game. In fact, it seemed that moral had taken the team, even if they hadn't exactly lost the first game. Benz went on, "You're going to be playing further up tomorrow, in cooperation with the general offensive nature of our tactics." He looked at everyone and said, "We really need to win this one."

Of course, he was absolute right, and worse of all, everyone acknowledged it, but given the low moral things really did not see very positive. Nevertheless, the fans that had waited all day to see the game, to see a rather dull duel, would still root for their favourite team, and home team at that, and hope that they would pull it off together. Too much relied on tomorrow's victory.

(OOC: Oh yes, in case anyone was wondering about my roster, home stadium, coaches, or whatever, the Becquerelia World Cup Roster post can be located right here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10526289&postcount=64).)

Part two: After Game One

And we look back to see what's behind us:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gifBecquerelia - (0)_________(2) - Pastorville http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/united_states--56.jpg


BECQUERELIA SHELL-SHOCKED BY PASTORVILLE
Loses In First World Cup Game


Pastorville (JNS) - In front of a rauscous crowd in Pastorville, the Becquerelian National Team came up short against the home team.

"How could we lose? How could we lose to a team so totally built not to score?" Head Coach Macarius Ransome asked, probably rhetorically, several times after the game.

Coach Ransome had a point. Pastorville, used a 8-2-1 "System Karela" scheme, and it regularly seemed as if Pastorville offensive players were totally blanketed by Becquerelian defenders.

"There were only three of them on offense. I guess. I mean, they all looked about the same, so who knows how many of them there were? For all we know, they were taking fans from the stands and making them a new Reverend Davis or Adkins or Robinson or something, like from The Matrix. But much more godly." said Defender Stephen Grohl after the game.

"I think at one point, it was in the second half, early on I think, they had about 10 players on their side of the field. It's like trying to play in a swarm of bees when it's like that." Assistant Coach John Meurer remarked in the post-game press conference.

The game started strongly for Becquerelia, as they got the ball first and quickly rushed it down the field, getting their first quality shot on goal in the sixth minute, via Forward Peter Constantine.

"It seemed that if you aired the ball around, kept it off the ground and moved it around alot, you could get some kind of traction of their defense. But you could only get so close to goal, or you had two players suddenly around you after the ball. That happened quite a bit. But the shot early was pretty good, but their goalie, Peterson...no...Smith! Yes, Smith. He had a good block."

This would be the way it would go for the first twenty minutes, Becquerelia taking the ball upfield, only to be smothered by the Pastorville defense. Coach Ransome seemed almost befuddled by this style of play.

"...Eight defenders!" He would say during the press conference, after sitting silently mouthing silently to himself for a minute.

In the twenty-second mintue, things suddenly swung toward Pastorville. Taking advantage of a Reverend Graham steal on Midfielder Michael Silva, Pastorville took the ball upfield with a highly-coordinated attack by all three of their offensive players. After a series of quick passes between Reverends Carlson, King, and Smith, Reverend Smith just snuck the ball around a poorly positioned David Deneen for the game's first score.

The rest of the first half featured more of each team taking the ball, advancing toward the other's goal, then the defense stopping them and sending the ball the other way. This rather boring bit of football was relieved via yellow cards on Becquerelian Defender Ceslaus Goldsmith and Pastorvillian Defender Reverend Allen.

The second half started out with a bang for Pastorville, when on the first drive they scored a goal of the foot of Reverend Carlson.

Said Grohl: "He just burst through and scored the goal. Goodness knows how he got through, but he did. That Paulson has some speed. Carlson. Carlson is the one that has speed."

The rest of the game had Becquerelia trying in vain to get the ball into the Pastorville net, with no success. They would get only seven shots on goal the entire game, with only three of them with any quality.

"It's pretty inauspicious, I'll tell you that much. But I think we played pretty well, considering that Pastorville is a team with some real international experience, and they were playing at home and all. I'm sure that we'll play with some real fire against Green wombat next game. This is one game we want." Coach Ransome said in the post-game press conference.

He paused for a bit, then added, "Eight defenders!"


Next time on The "in which Becquerelia makes several long posts to catch-up with everyone" Omnibus: Part three: before game two

QAZOX CITY HERALD
Where the Pros Go When They Need News

Qazox made it's first foray into the World Cup and the Black Oxen were beaten black and blue on the road earlier today losing 0-3 to Elrich. Considering how highly ranked Elrich was compared to Qazox, losing by only 3 goals on the road is not too bad. The match started great for Qazox as they had the early time of possession and getting 2 quick shots on goal within the first 10 minutes, but things went south from there. In the 26th minute a brilliant counter attack led by JOHN SPINKS of Elrich gave the home squad a lead they wouldn't give up. Spinks passed the ball to ELRICH, who promptly headed it past John Frorr for the 1st goal. Seeing thieir King score a rare goal, gave the home crowd plenty of reason to cheer. However, the remainder of the 1st half was evenly played with neither team threating to score.

The second half began horribly for Qazox as their leading scorer from the BoF Manuel Aguirre was called for a hard tackle on King Elrich, and was promptly Red Carded in the 47th minute. Being down a man on the road in WC qualifing is a certain mark of death, and that old adage proved true as it only took 4 minutes for Elrich to score a second goal. Jamie Mudge headed the 2nd goal of a corner kick int he 51st minute to make it 2-0. Qazox fought valiently after that goal not to be shut-out, but in the 80th minute, King Elrich scored his second goal of the match on a direct kick from just outside 25 meters sending the crowd into joyous celebration as Elrich started it Qualifing out with a 3-0 win.

Hopefully Qazox can recover quickly as they have their next 3 matches at hime starting tommorrow vs. Hiiran. Anything execpt a loss would be acceptable vs. Hiiran, but hopefully the usually loud crowds for FC Fromburg will be in attendance and help the Black Oxen win.

Group Three Results & Standings After Day One:

GROUP THREE
Vilita 3-0 Valertinette
Milchama 1-1 Dorian and Sonya
Elrich 3-0 Qazox
Tanah Burung 1-0 Hiiraan



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Vilita 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
2 Elrich 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
3 Tanah Burung 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
4 Milchama 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 Dorian and Sonya 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Eauz 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Hiiraan 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
8 Valertinette 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0
9 Qazox 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0

Qazox's Qualifing Schedule:

Match Day One--@ Elrich (Lost 0-3)
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Capacity 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Seven--BYE
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette atFromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Telegram-Today

Sports Section

Milchama= The new Hypocria

That's right after a long and hard thought over process we have realized that we in fact are the new Hypocria. The reasons are long and many and we are to lazy to explain them all to you in this article. So we'll suffice to say this, here is all the things Hypocria seems to do, Draw/Lose against lower competition (Finished 4th behind Rordia last WC, Drew Dorian and Sonya today) Does well in non-WC but doesn't win anything (Won group twice in U21 Cup but never have got past 2nd round) and just gets plain bad luck (Just trust us on this its true). So thus we have become the new Hypocria, the old Hypocria is still around and doing well but now they have company.

Onto the match, it was a disapointing match for the Milchamians who scored in the 11th minute only to see their great first half attacking come away with one goal. In the second half, the Unicorns started to attack and some poor defending allowed one of them to even score. Coach Jamie Smith said, "This was definitely a disapointing result to start qualifying but despite this result we are still in 4th place and a win next round and we are in the first three. Also upsets will happen, maybe this is a sign that we will beat Eauz or Vilita, after all you should always look on the bright side of life."

Now onto the Match Report:
The Warriors came onto the pitch with every bit of confidence some would say that they were actually overconfident coming into a match like this. This did not look true early as Darian Flinters and Elana Kilinin went nuts on the wings easily beating the Unicorn back line. Soon their plays spread the ball well and Faren and Copperlee were making good crosses into the box. In the 11th minute everything went right as a good Copperlee found Spot Nielson who headed it in to make it 1-0 Milchama. Soon after Floren headed in a ball but it was called back as he was offsides. This no goal would be important later on but not now as the Warriors continued to mercilessly attack the Unicorn and most times it seemed like sheer luck that the Unicorns were not down by more goals. In the first half the Warriors had 12 shots with 9 being on net. The goalie for the Unicorns was spectacular making 8 saves and stopping numerous other balls from becoming real threats. The halftime score was 1-0 Milchama.

Second Half Report:
The Warriors came out of the dressing looking tired and beaten like they were down and it showed on the pitch as the Unicorns started to attack more and the game became more even. The Unicorns put some good attacks on but the Warriors defense seemed stiff enough at the back and the counter attack looked to be deadly as a lucky save by the Unicorn keeper kept the Warriors from taking a 2-0 lead in the 64th minute. Then in the 70th minute another offside call on Floren had his second goal disallowed. This proved to be devastating as only 4 minutes later a bad foul by Pevington led to a free kick and a header in by Altáriël Telperiën to tie the score. After the game tying the Warriors went on the offensive again but could not muster up the power to get the second goal and win the game. All in all a dissapointing performance.
Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Nielson 11)
Dorian and Sonya 1 (Telperiën 74)

GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS
If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too!

Earlier today the Fighting Wombats were b'eaten' by the Sea Dragons of ASMV. While playing on the road is always tough, Green Wombat put notice to every team in Group 11 that they will not be and easy home win as they lost a hard fought 1-0 match. The lone goal was scored by MalachI James of ASMV in the 32nd minute. The ASMV defence was so strong that Ensign Ira Graves had this to say about it "Man, I wish we were back in the BoF."

There is no rest for the weary however as Green Wombat head Home to the Estadio Hexagona for a home game vs. Becquerelia a team we beat in the BoF 2-0. Hopefully the same result will happen as the entire military will be in attendance (attendence is mandatory for all personel except for Generals or Admirals).

Part three: Before Game Two

And we turn again to see what's ahead:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gifBecquerelia___at____Green wombat http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/greenwombat.gif


THEY WANT REVENGE
Team Looks To Avenge Baptism Of Fire Loss


Green wombat (JNS) - It's a loss that team members say they will never forget.

As said Forward Peter Constantine: "We had a chance to win the whole Baptism of Fire. But then we lost to Haraki. That's fair, Haraki was a really good team, they beat us before. So then we had a good shot at third place. Then..."

"...Green wombat."

The game was played at the Titanplex in Francopolis, Legalese, immediatly following the Kyle Cartman Benefit Game. Becquerelia were considered heavy favorites, having had no trouble against any teams other than Haraki during the entire tournament. Green wombat, on the other hand, we're the third best team in their group, winning two, losing two, and scoring a draw in the group stage.

"They had stepped it up during the playoffs, that much is sure. They beat Risa-Aramour, then Tynelia convincingly, then played a close game against Allied Anime Worlds, who went on to win the whole tournament. The signs were there for a upset. But, you just don't expect it. Especially when Becquerelia had been doing so well the whole time." was how Centrifuge Sports announcer Davide Kezele would put it later.

But when the ninety minutes were up, Becquerelia was blanked. 2-0, Green wombat. A "uncharacteristic shutout" as the Tynelian press would refer to it. Head Coach Macarius Ransome was more blunt, and called it a "travesty."

When asked about his intemperate comments, Coach Ransome blamed it on "The heat of the moment." But, he also added, "We should have won that game. That's for sure. Fourth place isn't, and shouldn't have been for us."

But now fate, or just a computer spitting out names randomly, have paired these two teams up once again. And thanks to the evil scheduling gods, this highly-desired rematch will be taking place at Green wombat's

"It's going to be a sold out stadium. And mostly with Green wombat citizens. Seeing how members of the military are required to attend the game." said a unnamed ticket seller at the Estadio Hexagona. "It's going to be loud during the game, I can assure you."

"We want to win this game." Peter Constantine said. "Green wombat won third place in the Baptism of Fire. But we're going to make sure that we win now when it matters."

PREDICTIONS:

On emotion alone, Becquerelia defeats Green wombat 2-1.


Thus ends the "in which Becquerelia makes several long posts to catch-up with everyone" Omnibus. Coming soon, regular updates before and after matches! W00T!

The first fifteen seconds' commentary of Wentland's opening WC27 qualifying match will long be seared in the memory of the Went...

"Smith to kick-off, to Treves...Treves back to Weston...back to Okey...Okey passes it back - but he's underhit it and there's a chance...ohhh, it's THERE...the Priggdom bench has gone berserk...their first ever goal in international football and it has come in the eighth second...Wentland look shell-shocked...Derrington belts the ball back to the halfway line as if it were a red-headed stepchild and Smith prepares to kick-off...again..."

Fortunately it was a temporary set-back. Stung into action by the surprise - and deeply embarrassed by the humiliation - Wentland, instead of knocking the ball back to goal instead swept forward. Instantly a through ball from Capper to Treves forced a great save and from the resulting corner Jenkins rose above the Priggdom defence to make it one-all. Two goals within the first minute.

With the momentum now behind them Wentland continued to pour forward. A swift interpassing movement between Weston, Treves and Kent saw a Treves 18 yarder come back off the post. Okey, making up for his blunder, played a one-two with James and curled a right-footed shot off the bar. A second was beckoning and it was Treves who gave the Swifts the lead, some jinking footwork taking him clear of the Priggdom defence and as the goalkeeper rashly dived at his feet a little dink saw the ball caress the net fibres. Two-one in the twenty-sixth.

There was no let-up as Priggdom's defence tried to withstand the Wentland wave like a sand wall on a beach. Weston tried a distance effort that brought out a great save. A run of corners saw another Jenkins header scrambled off the line. Smith and Treves got in each other's way with the goal almost empty. And Treves eventually made it three in the 35th minute, finishing off a Smith knockdown from an Okey cross.

More of the same in the second half? No. With the Starblaydia game following in mind Bluff took Treves and Weston off, giving young Tommy Barnes his international debut and the faithful Ollis a run-out. And Wentland sat back somewhat, letting Priggdom tire themselves out and settling for the 3-1 win. With half-an-hour to go Okey was replaced by Loder, also making his debut, and James went to right-back as Bluff tried out some different combinations. His substitutions nearly proved costly, as Capper ended the game limping but gamely stayed out to ensure Wentland stayed with eleven men. But despite a late couple of chances for Priggdom the score remained as was and the Swifts tucked three early points in their pockets.

***

Scores from elsewhere:

Oliverry 6-1 Shing-Shang
Spaam 4-0 Obsidianus
East Lithuania 2-0 Haraki

Immediately Bluff was concerned. Oliverry had underachieved as hosts of WC26 but a six goal demolition was mightily impressive, double Wentland's best-ever score. And Obsidianus were not considered to be pushovers but they obviously were for Spaam. With Starblaydia yet to play, it immediately looked like Wentland was in for a fight even for a play-off place.

To: Nicholas the Scribe, The Archregimancy
From: Kansu & Kansu

Hejida Scribe'he,

We are lawyers from Hanin kalese, KaMaRi kali, KaMaRi nanti, Rejistania. We are specialized in libel Lawsuits and among our clients is the Asene Sekhika Rejistaniha, the soccer association of Rejistania. You have called the national team in your latest publication 'takelan'. This is a serious insult since takelan means to emphasize on both attack and defense with neglecting the midfield. The "Orange-Blues" are Jesejilan or Karelan depending on the definition, surely not takelan or takilan. This case will be delegated to the authorities in your nation if there is no apology and correction. According to your law: "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." (Ten Commandments) we see that libel in your nation is prosecuted.

Va'il veka,
Ita Kansu, lawyer

Dear Ita Kansu,

The Monastic Times wishes to apologise for mistakenly referring to the Rejistanian national team as 'Takelan' rather than 'Karelan'. Frankly, your vile heathen rites all look the same to us, and one evil pre-match blood sacrifice of virgins is very much like another as far as we can tell, but we understand that this misunderstanding has caused your nation great distress. So while we denounce your heathen rituals in the strongest possible terms, we nonetheless recognise the need not to cause unnecessary offence, and therefore apologise on behalf of Fr. Nicholas the Scribe.

Yours in Christ,

The Monastic Times editorial board

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"Fr. John - Popolus... I am ashamed for our entire nation, for our entire monastic community, for Orthodox Christians everywhere"

"Erm.... why, Fr. Nicholas?"

"Because the Lord decided to punish us for our sins, and have us lose 3-1 at home, that's why!"

"I think you must have been watching a different match than me, Fr. Nicholas... The one I was watching had us winning 4-1"

"What?"

"I think, Fr. Nicholas, that you must have been reading the 'alternative' Bazalonia results - but don't worry, you're not the only person to have been confused by that one!"

"That makes me feel much better, Fr. John!"

"I hope so - let's look at some highlights.

With the main Lenten Fast almost upon us, we had a particularly splendid pre-match Liturgy this week, and I'm not sure the unknowns from Popolus really knew how to cope with standing up for two hours. Even more experienced nations like Rejistania have fallen victim to pre-match Liturgy fatigue in the past when playing in the Archregimancy, and Popolus were simply overwhelmed.

Fr. Silouan scored the first of his two goals a mere five minutes in after this excellent through pass from Fr. Constantine.

Just two minutes later, a rare forward foray from Fr. Michael the New Hermit - who's still threatening to refuse to play during Great Lent, so this might be his last match for a while - led to this beautiful cross that Fr. Basil the Faster latched on to and sent past the hapless opposing goalkeeper. 2-0.

Only 15 minutes in, and it was 3-0, with Fr. David the Water-Drinker scoring on this magnificent free-kick - appropriate penance for the Popolus team for clumsily hacking down Fr. Silouan on the edge of the area.

After that, our lads relaxed. With many a concern over how the Lenten Fast will impact the squad, it was only right that they conserve their energy.

In the second half, Popolus did get one back in the 75th minute when Fr. Dmitri was caught napping in defence - but then he has been going without sleep for days as part of his pre-Lenten meditation on the Lord's sacrifice.

It hardly mattered, because the lads started going forward again, and in the 81st minute Fr. Silouan left the opposing defenders for dead to score his second and the team's fourth. Surely just reward for our virtous labour in the vineyard of the Lord."

"Well, Fr. John. I am mightily relieved. 4-1 at home is much better than losing 1-3."

"Oh ye of little faith, Fr. Nicholas.... Oh ye of little faith...."

Word spread through the "barren, inhospitable landscape" (as described by a leading encyclopedia) of The Kazoo Peoples like wildfire.
"They lost to WHO?" one asked.
"Are you sure? That doesn't make any sense!" another exclaimed.
"Mm... I just burnt my tongue!" a third replied, though irrelevant.

Yes, the news was being transmitted o'er the airwaves of The Kazoo Peoples...:

"Kazoos 1, Algal states 3"

"'Algal states?' What the hell is an 'algal?' Sounds like some dirty word kids would say as they spray-paint naughty words under bridges!" exclaimed one senile old man.

Yes, the Kazoo loss to the 193rd-ranked team in the world put the Kazoos in a bad position, as they are in last place of the nine-team Group 2.

Why the loss though? Well, there are some obvious answers to the not-so-obvious question...

"Well, for one thing, I had to put in Robert Barker for Jim Johnson tonight," said Head Coach Manni Aka after the disappointing loss. "He was still out with the stomach flu and hernia issues that plagued him during the Draggonni Inviyatii Showcase. I expect him to be back after our off-day on matchday 3. But, he could take longer. So, it's wait-and-see. Until then, we will have Barker in the lineup, but we might exercise other, though unlikely, options."

"What sort of options, coach?"

"Possibly, we might put in Kevlar Shafur in the goalkeeper spot one day. The switch to a defending position has helped us tremendously in the backfield, and a switch to goalkeeper could help us even further."

"You said you had another reason why you guys lost today. What reason is that?"

"Well, to be honest, our players haven't yet gotten used to either the new formation or their new spots within that formation. Our formation is my 'X' formation - the 2-1-3-2-2, if you recall - and as it is such a radical formation, not many players are used to it or acquainted it. Also, our players, after having moved to a new position within their own clubs are coming back to the national team, finding that people are not where they were for World Cup 26."

"What's your outlook for the rest of World Cup 27?"

"I have a positive outlook -- I think we have a real chance of qualifying. I see the loss as a speed bump, but we shall overcome!"

The Kazoos only goal came at minute 69, when forward Chadd Johnson angled a goal in off the crossbar. However, the goal didn't make much of a difference, as the score stood at 3-0 prior to that on three goals made by the same player of Algal states (minute 4, 25, 56).

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bettia 1 1 0 0 4 2 2 3
2 Algal states 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
3 Nanakaland 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 The Weegies 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
5 Total n Utter Insanity 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Risa-Aramour 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
7 Tynelia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
8 The New Chakovnia 1 0 0 1 2 4 -2 0
9 The Kazoo Peoples 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

PROGRESS IN WORLD CUP 27:
MD1: loss to Algal states 2-1
MD2: Total n Utter Insanity, home
MD3: OFF
MD4: The Weegies, away
MD5: Risa-Aramour, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: OFF
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away
---
Soccer World Online Cup spurs controversy

Imagine chaos. Imagine confusion. Imagine, gasp, ANOTHER set of scores to go by. Enter the Soccer World Online Cup.

The Cup, started by a group of World Cup fans within [NS]Balazonia, makes up their own scores, and then publishes them as if they were real. This has caused some confusion for fans and media alike, as they don't know which score to turn to, as most national newspapers publish the World Online Cup scores alongside the actual World Cup scores.

"I like the idea," said local crazy person Donald McRonald. "It's like playing a video game, but with less effort. Had the Kazoos played in cyberspace, they would have drew with Algal states 2-2, rather than suffering the humiliating 3-1 loss."

So, in our new daily section, "The Kazoos In Cyberspace!", we will show the online Cup results.

THE KAZOOS IN CYBERSPACE!


Bettia 4-0 The New Chakovnia
The Kazoo Peoples 2-2 Algal states
(Goals: C. Johnson, 56; Lampshade, 87)
Nanakaland 2-0 Risa-Aramour
The Weegies 0-2 Tynelia

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bettia 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
2 Tynelia 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
3 Nanakaland 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
4 The Kazoo Peoples 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
5 Algal states 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
6 Total n Utter Insanity 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 The Weegies 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
8 Risa-Aramour 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
9 The New Chakovnia 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0

PROGRESS IN SOCCER WORLD ONLINE CUP
MD1: draw with Algal states 2-2
MD2: Total n Utter Insanity, home
MD3: OFF
MD4: The Weegies, away
MD5: Risa-Aramour, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: OFF
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away

---
KAZOOS SEARCH FOR FRIENDLY OPPONENT
The Kazoos have announced they still do not have a friendly set up for Matchdays 3 and 12.

"We've asked around for teams who have off days that day to step forward and play a match with us."

As you recall, the prospective teams for a friendly on matchday 3 or 12 is as follows:

The Islands of Qutar (rematch of WC 26 BoF! Maybe a home and away set?)
Milchama, Hypocria, The Archregimancy (Tie. Anyone want a rematch from the Pre-World Cup 27 Draggonni Inviyatti?)
Cataduanes (We've heard about you. Care for a game?)
Giant Zucchini (No, I still don't know my Giant Zucchini football)
Druida (You need something to do on your off day, right?)
Kaze Progressa (Ah, the ever elusive Kaze Progressa.)
Wentland (We've heard a lot about you guys)
The Lowland Clans, Nedalia (Tie. We kinda know you people.)

Any interested parties should contact Manni Aka, Minister of Sport.

Apathy Rules



The World Cup qualification draw has been made and the reaction back in the Autocracy was a fairly non-committal “meh”. Confidence in the national side is at an all time low after a string of failures. Terrible results in the last qualifying campaign was followed up with the loss of our AOCAF title. The slump has seeped through into the Under-21 setup too with the younger Hyppos failing to progress from the group stage for the second time in successive Under-21 World Cups. Only a quarter final place at the Cup of Harmony helped to recoup most of the lost ranking places from four years ago.

The World Cup has always been seen as the first priority of Hypocria’s national coach by those in charge and failure in the qualifiers has previously led to the sacking of Guylain N‘Dumbu-Nsungu and the departure of Dave Wilson. They were both hampered by expectations of the Hyppos actually advancing to the Finals, new coach Alex Santoro doesn’t have that problem. Indeed an interactive poll conducted by HyperSport, the nation’s largest and most popular sports channel, showed that a massive 91% of fans believe Hypocria will not qualify. Can Santoro and the boys prove them wrong? Probably not.

So who will the Hyppos fail against in the coming weeks and months? Well after no Atlantian Derbies in the last campaign now we have three to look forward to. Here’s the round-up . . .


Group 4

Sarzonia are the overwhelming favourites to top Group 4 and former Hyppos’ coach Dave Wilson will certainly have a point to prove on his return to the Autocracy. Hypocria have actually won their last two meetings with the Stars but they were both in the AOCAF. Fellow Atlantian nation Krytenia are likely to push the Stars the closest. But much will depend on how the Ace’s have recovered after the tragic events of the last World Cup. Third place looks like a straight fight between ourselves, the ever silent but hugely experience Lethislavania and another resident of AO, Legalese. We know Palacetonia from the last campaign and will be looking to go medieval on them after the Eagles beat us in our own backyard. Both Vuam and Isma look set to struggle although the international experience gathered at the recent Baptism of Fire should keep them away from the wooden spoon. Rorysville and Revived Constantinople should just concentrate on keeping the goals against column as low as physically possible.


Winning Start


In front of a sparse crowd at the Drissa Sports Arena Alex Santoro and his side got off to a winning start in the opening game of the World Cup 27 qualifiers. It was a solid rather than spectacular effort that downed little Rorysville. The fans are fast discovering they have a new hero, a man by the name of Rafael Dudamel. A surprise inclusion in the squad for the freindlies Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, Dudamel scored five times in his six appearances. That earned him a starting place in this fixture and the striker responded with two goals.

Naturally we do like to make things difficult for ourselves and when a rare Rorysville ball into the box was turned into his own net by Diabang “here we go again” was the collective cry from the 15,000 strong crowd. Fortunately the Hyppos did eventually keep their heads and managed not to throw away yet another victory.

Legalese sit on top of the embryonic table after sticking five past Palacetonia. Then comes Lethislavania who edged both Vuam and Isma by the odd goal in seven. In third place are the Hyppos, so far up the table they’ve probably all developed nose bleeds. Krytenia were the fourth team to win on matchday 1, 1 - 0 at home to Revived Constantinople.
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Legalese 1 1 0 0 5 1 4 3
2 Lethislavania 1 1 0 0 4 3 1 3
3 Hypocria 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 Krytenia 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
5 Sarzonia 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Vuam and Isma 1 0 0 1 3 4 -1 0
7 Rorysville 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
8 Revived Constantinople 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
9 Palacetonia 1 0 0 1 1 5 -4 0

And the now the first of our Spotlight series, highlighting nations, players and coaches from around the football world. This week it’s a man from close to home.

Spotlight On . . . Alex Santoro

When Dave Wilson left at the end of the last qualification campaign there was one man the fans wanted to replace him. That man was Alex Santoro. Santoro has spent his entire career domestically in the southern city of Pylos. A squad player at Pylos City who later moved to AFC Pylos where he made some 250 appearances. He became player-coach at 33 and in his second year in charge took the club up into the Super League. He confounded the critics by not only keeping them there but securing their place as a top flight team over the following years.

That success earned the coach the plum job at Pylos City, later re-branded as Pylos Reavers. He shaped the Reavers into one of the best sides in the Autocracy and regular battled Hypocrium City at the top of the table. When the Super League was scraped in favour of the Hyper League it was Pylos Reavers that lifted the inaugural title. Santoro also masterminded the Reavers run to the quarterfinal of the AO Champions League, a feat yet to be bettered by a Hypocrian club.

And now the coach has become the first native to manage the national side. With a record of eight wins in twelve matches the coach has made a decent start. But it was World Cup results that spelt the end for all his predecessors and it is World Cup results that will shape Santoro’s tenure as success or failure.


Next Up

Dave Wilson makes his first return to the Autocracy since leaving the Hypocria post. He brings with him a Sarzonia side looking to reclaim number 1 spot in the world rankings. On their last visit the Stars won 4 - 0. Not too encouraging is it?


Identity Crisis

And on a brief side note.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Telegram-Today

Sports Section

Milchama= The new Hypocria

Then who the hell are we?

PRESS RELEASE

EG Inc

It has come to our attention that the release of the Soccer World Online Cup results have cause confusion in a number nations. EG Inc. would like to appologise for the confusion. Any further press releases will emphasise the fact that these results are not World Cup results but the results scored within an MMORPG that uses the same teams.

We will not stop making press releases that have these results as we believe that Soccer Online is going to revoloutionise the Sports genre, particularily team-based sports.In fact Soccer World seems to be growing at a fairly steady rate. And we are in need for more Customer Service Representatives (CSR's), more commonly known as Game Masters(GM). If anyone reading this press-release wishes to apply for these positions please contact us at

EG Inc.
Human Resources
256-288 Byte Road
Game Valley, 26384
Bazalonia

Starting off in Tip Top (of the table) Shape
Legalese opens with 5-1 victory over Palacetonia

Francopolis, Legalese- In a qualifying session that has been considered a "true test" by many as to the future of soccer at the international level in Legalese, the Black and Red got off to a good start, notching a 5-1 victory over Palacetonia. A sold-out crowd of over 80,000 packed the Titanplex to witness the rout.

The action started early, as Sonny Achin made an outside run in the 6th minute, crossing the ball into striker Johnny Lobiva, who struck it home for the first tally. After a quick charge by the Palacetonians on the kickoff failed to materialize for them, the host side took possession, holding the ball in the midfield for a good while, before Pavel Bahrain made a quick pass to Lobiva in the 15th minute. With his back to the goal, the Legalese forward faked a turn, before giving the ball back to Bahrain, who shot it from the 18, catching the visiting keeper off guard.

From there, possession stayed firmly in the hands of Legalese, who finally had another attempt on goal come through in the 37th minute, when a corner found the head of Al Tavican, before settling in the back of the net. Thus, the game seemed sealed at the halftime whistle, with a 3-0 lead.

"It was just fun being on the pitch today", said Lobiva, who would also take part in another Legalese goal in the second half. "I can't recall a game where I've spent so much time up top without needing to backtrack defensively."

Lobiva's next involvement would come in the 49th minute, when he fired a hard shot from 14 yards out. While it was slightly off target, catching the post before coming back into play, the ball took a positive bounce, landing at the feet of Fred Toriqal, who wasted no time turning the rebound into the fourth goal of the day.

At this point, Manager Rocco Comienze felt it appropriate to make some changes, giving Lobiva, Achin, and defensive midfielder Gary Ximeco a rest during the 53rd-57th minutes. Adonis Tunis, who did not see any playing time during the last qualifying campaign, made his debut, coming on for Lobiva, while Jeremey Somerbatt and Sammy Kirbas came in to replace the substituted midfielders.

Another new player to the nationals would make his presence known later in the game, however. After a rare attack by the Palacetonians succeeded in the 71st minute, Garib Duff showed precisely why he earned a spot in the starting eleven, using spectacular footwork to move through the defense, and nearly dribble the ball into the net. This goal capped off the scoring, with a 5-1 final in favor of the home side.

After the match, Comienze made a few comments.

On the win: "Like in all qualifying campaigns, this will prove to not be an easy road for us. To start it in a winning fashion is very important, and for that, I am pleased. Going plus four in differential could help in the long run as well, mind you."

On being at the top of the table: "It's only one match. We did this last time as well. What really matters is who is there at the end of qualifying."

Lion was in his office... it was filled with paperwork. One of those pieces was the report on the Atheistic Right vs. Cuation match. Now there would be confusion of just which match it was. Was it the real World Cup match or the 'fake' online Soccer World Online Cup one. The answer is related to the fact that this report had the official World Cup letterhead and footer.

The score was 2-1 with Cuation winning, Lion was sitting there pondering the report. He eventually said "Not bad... they still lost but it was not a fatal wound."

He put that report down and picked up another piece of paper. This one was the press release from EG Inc. He was laughing on the inside, "people are confused over this?" ... haha..

Yes... They certainly could have done better" Lion said as he put down the results. Of course Lion had his own copy of Sports World and he did play for the Bazalonian team. He played as "The Bandit". Of course he did not pay for the CD with the Software on it or the account. Atheisitic Right had some of the best Hackers and crackers in the computer world. They found EG's protection easy.

He picked up another press release from EG... It was the latest one appologizing for the confusion and announcing the CSR job availability.

"Hmm... That gives me an idea.."
and he got up and moved out of his office...

To Be Continued....

The Nedalia Lions

Lions Shake Off 1st Half Rust with Impressive 2nd Half

KAFRA, NEDALIA - It seems that half-time motivational talks do work after all.

"I simply reminded the players about what the Audioslavian media said about them. How they werent good enough to feature in their, and Commerce Height's, national teams. How they were a class below," commented manager Brent Vent, whose record with the Lions now stands at 1-0-0.

The first half against Berner Street brought moans and groans from the Kafra International Stadium, who thought they were witnessing the beginning of yet another underachieving campaign by the Nedalian squad. Indeed, there were no signs showing otherwise during the first 45 minutes, with the Lions going down 1-0 at the 29th minute after a Berner Street counter-attack tore the defense apart. The team seemed demoralized after that, and barely hung on to their 1 goal deficit going into the half.

Vent's speech, however, seemed to do wonders for the team. They came out in the 2nd half a completely new team, with Tim James nailing the first goal in the 50th minute to the absolute joy of the home crowd. It took only 5 minutes after that for 22 year old striker Jimmy Kelly to give the Lions the lead, scoring in his debut match. To cap off a spectacular 2nd half, it was 22 year old central defender Ben Turner who scored the 3rd and final goal for the Lions off of a Nene corner.

"Its an unbelievable feeling, stepping out infront of 100,000 people all cheering you on. There is nothing like it, and the fact I scored for them is something that will give me goosebumps for a while," said the unvirginized Jimmy Kelly. "I can't wait for more games like this."


World Cup Matchday One Round-Up:

Considering none of the top-ranked teams were playing this Matchday, there was no real mouth-watering games lined up. That being said, there was quite a few entertaining matches that took place. In Group 2, Nedalia's eastern neighbors (and Cup of Harmony 18 finalist) Bettia got their campaign off to a winning start, defeating The New Chakovnia 4-2 and going top of their group.

In Group 3, the Tanah Burung vs. Hiiraan was, on paper, one of the most anticipated games on the Matchday One, and it was Tanah Burung, the home team, that came away with the 1-0 victory. However, it is Vilita who went top of that group after defeating Valertinette convincingly, 3-0.

The third team of the Verdena Trio (Nedalia, Bettia, Hypocria) managed to suprise themselves with a 2-1 victory over Rorysville, but it was Legalese who stole the spotlight in Group 4 with their 5-1 victory over Palacetonia. Legalese' perfomance was sheer class, and the way they dismantled their opponents might have Krytenia (who won their match unconvincingly, 1-0 against Revived Constantinople), and Sarzonia looking over their gameplans. This group could potentially be the Group of Death this World Cup.

Speaking of which, Starblaydia will be more than a little weary after seeing Oliverry destroy Shing-Shang 6-1 in Group 8. The former champions had a bye, like all other top ranked teams, and so had a good chance to preview some of the toughest matches they'll face this go round. One of those matches will definitely be against Wentland, who pulled off a 3-1 victory over Priggdom, and another will be against the Spaam, the squad that takes the award for "Team that No-one wants to Face...Ever."

In Group 9, it was Commerce Heights who topped Nedalia's group after defeating Ocmeoub 3-0, while Chicanada defeated Pedriana 1-0 and Ariddia got off to a bad start, drawing to Kelse 1-1.

Jeruselem, who should easily automatically qualify out of Group 1, had a bye, so nothing to report on them there, but one can bet that they will have more than a few Nedalians cheering them on at their next home match, mixed up between the home crowd.

New Spruitland kits

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/SpruitHome27.png http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/SpruitAway27a.png

In a notably “let’s get this over with”-flavored press conference, the SFA revealed the new kit designs for the Spruitland national football teams. So despite protests from players and supporters, the SFA decided to give the go-ahead on the new design, which will first be used in World Cup 27.

“We’ve used the old kits for four World Cups and a bunch of other tournaments,” Wabbits striker Chico Provoost commented. “Sure, they may have been ugly, but at least they were different. We feel it’s bad luck to change now.”

The new kits were designed by Starblaydia based company Ediraf, beating Krytenia’s JMC and several local Spruitland designers to the contract. Two main reasons for that, SFA president Martin Backer explains.

“The Ediraf design was the one that stayed the most true to the atrociousness of the original kits, while still smartening it up a bit. JMC’s designs were way too fancy and fashionable for our taste.”

“Secondly, and just as importantly, the Ediraf deal contained a laundry-clause, which gave it a real edge over the competition. After every match, whether it be the Wabbits or the Bunnies, in Spruitland or way the fuck over in the boondocks of Tonissia, an Ediraf jet will come pick up the dirty outfits and get them cleaned for the next match. With a deal like that, you don’t put too fine a point on what the new kits actually look like.”

From GM Joe bucket
Popolus

We are very glad, that our team is doing so good on the field. The boys have all the nation behind them and the state was overflown by the blue and white flags cheereng the team.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Popolus 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3

Popolus now lives for the world cup, even politicians have installed the TV in the congress hall.

The team is recieveing bigger donatios from sponsors now they have also a new goal - the money geatherd from extra donations will be sped to build a paraolimpic stadion that Popolus wants to have. Eqality is our leading thought.

From the Popoulus great hall of play
Joe Bucket

The Boudra-Boudra delegation had chosen the match between Commerce Heights and Ocmeoub to get a feeling as to what this World Cup is all about. Although they would have like to see fellow 'underdogs' Ocmeoub at least score one goal, the delegation enjoyed the match very much. As a result, the Boudra-Boudra national team is now looking to play its first ever friendlies. The Boudra-Boudra Football League is about to finish and from there on the players for the national team will be selected. As soon as this has been done then the team can be playing a friendly.

The Boudra-Boudra delegation is thus now awaiting challenges and will probably accept about three from matchday 5 and further.

SBC News Alert!

Today the swilatian nation football team will have its second match in the world cup.

We are very likely to win this one, because our opponent will be the weak popolus team, who yesterday was defeated 4-1 by The Archregimancy. we hope do defeat popolus as well.

The match this time will rake place outside swilatia, but we will still be likely to defeat the popolus team. they maybe should have not entered the world cup in the first place, and the same goes to the footie dream team, who was also defeated yesterday, who Swilatia will probably also beat when the time comes.

Wel, this might be the first time that Swilatia will qualify for a world cup, but we are not sure yet.

Bazalonia']...Just biting someone on the neck and then roping them into your team is against the WCC rules...

Dear President of the World Cup Commitee...

There were some minor problems with being the President of the World Cup Committee. It was like being a celebrity for the sporting press, which did mean that he couldn't go out to dinner without being mobbed by a press pack. A sea of photographers with their cameras clicking and flashes... flashing. Ones with microphones and dictaphones would yell questions at him, starting with 'Mister Di Bradini, Mister President, Simeone, or even SDB'.

With the route to the restaurant door, just a few metres away, now completely blocked by bodies, Simeone decided to relent and answer some questions.

"Alright," he yelled over the mob, "short questions, then I'm out of here."

"What is your position on the Peter Hobble situation?" Shouted the loudest voice, making that the first question.

"As far as I'm aware, Peter Hobble is still a Bazalonian player, despite his new 'attributes'. Hobble has played on the international stage for his country, Bazalonia, and now he is ineligible to play for any other team. I seem to remember two nations wanting to trade their national players with each other, which we put a halt to. Whatever claims Elrich may have to Hobble as a citizen of their nation, he may only play for Bazalonia, assuming they still want to pick him. Elrich law doesn't apply here, mine does. That's all I have to say on that."

"What about the Spruitland FA's description of their Ediraf kits as 'atrocious', Mister President?"

"They wanted atrocious kits, and they got them, as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure they're very happy with their involvement with Ediraf, but that's nothing to do with me."

"SDB, will Oliverry push Starblaydia all the way for Qualification?"

"With that many attackers, I'm sure they'll have a chance. I'm a little takilan myself, you know."

A small chuckle arose from the reporters who were still paying attention, and Simeone used the oppurtunity to sneak past a snapper playing with his digital camera and squeeze through the door.

GRAHAM CITY SUN - SPORTS SECTION
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_lowland_clans.jpg__The Lowland Clans - 1______0 - TheSuncoastofFlorida__http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/grenada--61.jpg

GRAHAM CITY - The Allied States Stars opened their World Cup with a shellacking of the TheSuncoastofFlorida today at Graham City international stadium. Granted, most of their players were totally unknowns without even names, but it was still a shellacking. Given the Stars performance against unknown teams in the past, this is a very comforting thing. Despite the low score, the keeper from the sunny Floridian coast was surprising good, making some key stops as the Stars pounded on the goal. Bloudin showed his vastly improved form last cup with a series of fine attacks on the goal, sweeping in past the defence only to hit post a total of three times during the game.

Quentin Mackallen also had a great game, and he flattened a couple of Floridians when they challenged him for the ball, His strength simply cemeted the domination of the midfield by the Stars. After about the fifteenth minute, the Floridians barely touched the ball throughout the remainder of the game. Pollack also showed vastly improved endurance and physical form, and his small compact frame helped the Stars keep the ball moving smoothly throughout the game. the most Stars chances came during the fiftieth minute and beyond as Nicolae Foma, Ryley Bloudin and Phillip Konstantinoppolis pounded the ball at the goal. Several times it was intercepted by flailing Floridian defenders, but Bloudin finally put it in in the fifty-first minute.

Most notable on the pitch was the fact that the players were having fun. In the post game press conference, manager Westley Stjepan covered it in depth. "You know, you guys in the press have been really hard on the players. We all have, myself included. Even when I was a player, there was a lot of stress to succeed. I noticed that as I began my tenior that many players were falling ill and injuring themselves, simply because there was too much pressure on them. these guys played so well today, I'm proud of them. But most importantly they had fun! They enjoyed playing football for their team."

Bloudin echoed this statement in his interview with Footballing International, a Clan magazine whose reputation is unmatched. "There was a lot of pressure on me last year, even though I wasn't starting. It really wore on me. But Stjepan really tried to lighten us up, and I think it has succeeded. Our team is so much better now that we are relaxed."

Around the World Cup...
Without the top teams playing on the first matchday, there weren't many big games to be played, but the results were quite a site indeed. I do believe that this is one of the highest scoring matchdays in world cup history. Group One was a quiet group, With a few remarkable results, none certainly unexpected. Group Two was home to the Algal states serious upset over the Kazoo Peoples by a 3-1 scoreline. Group Three was home to two three-nothing victories, to Vilita and Elrich respectively. Milchama also has two points stolen by some team from some place that we've never heard of. Rumors are that FFAS will be sending a rather large donation to the team to help 'build a stong football program in this nation.' Lethislavania had 4-3 slogging match over Vuam and Isma, and Legalese absolutely destroyed Palacetonia 5-1 in Group Four. Group Five experienced nothing but blowouts, include another 5-1 shellacking of Nebuleux by the Catadunes.

In Group Six, our amigos over at the Archregimancy hammered the Popolusans 4-1. In our own group, Turori welcomed The Belmore Family back with a 4-1 defeat, and Rolatia excercised a very strong offense against Allied Anime Worlds. Ollivery big-banged those guys from Shing-Shang for a massive 6-1 defeat, which rivals the Nedalian 8-1 victory over Pastorville in the Cup of Harmony. Group Nine also had a uneventuful day, marked by two three-blanked victories. Poor Harlesburg got upset 2-1 in Group Ten, which reminds us of a Cup of Harmony campaign with them a couple of cups back. In Group Eleven, nothing but shutouts as the underdogs didn't even score a goal. Group Twelve, well, we really don't know many people from that group, but it wasn't much of an exciting group anyways.

Yet Another Own Goal!
Episode 1: The Boyer Show

Well…guess who…it’s Mr. Green Couch Man again! He looks happy today.

“…and that’s the final whistle here in the Giant Zucchini National Stadium and it’s Boyer the Man of the Match who looks to cement his place ahead of the injured Pablo Perez…”

“Pérez.”

“Yeah, Perez.”

“No, Pérez. You know, with the little thingy on top?”

“Oh come on, no one can hear the difference.”

“Well they can SEE the difference…”

“And how in the world are they going to SEE the difference? You think there’s some twit with too much time on his hands transcribing every word we say and putting all the letters of the ‘see’ I just said in upper case and posting it on some forum thingy as if it’s some sort of game?!?!?”

“Uhhhh…I don’t think you should have said that…”

“Why not? I’m not talking rubbish here on national television, I’m talking a whole lot of sense, which is what you WHAAAAAAAARGHHHHH…”

“Um, we apologise for the gory scenes you may be seeing on your television at the moment. My dead co-commentator will be transported out of the studio shortly. Meanwhile, two good strikes from Armand Boyer and one deft touch from Dino Nuvolari have secured the points for the Zucchinis against Georgeonia, Boyer aiming to retain his position in the squad after a magnificent performance today. And this just in…Giant Zucchini’s representative in the Soccer World Online Cup have also beaten Georgeonia in their corresponding fixture, but we won’t be dwelling too much on that result as they are not providing any sort of RP bonus. And with that, Sea-urchin, out.”


To be continued…


Giant Zucchini’s Department of Number Crunching and Data Spewing presents:

Match stats:

Giant Zucchini – 3
Boyer (10, 60), Nuvolari (71)

Georgeonia - 0



Giant Zucchini stats:

Top Goalscorers:
Armand Boyer – 2
Dino Nuvolari - 1

Yellow Cards:

Red Cards:

The Starblaydi newspapers took an imaginative view of their match previews and one of them asked Brian Mooreshead, editor of national fanzine “Gone With The Went”, to provide some pen-pictures for their readers. They have been made available specially for the good people of NationStates.


Francis Derrington, goalie: Newly the number one choice as Jack Edmunds’ ponytail grew to ridiculous proportions. Plays for the Heathens, and handy with his fists. Then again they all are in that mob.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: a kettle; generally dependable but dull.

Joe Okey, right-back:Downham now believe they can control the whimsical wingman. Moving more towards being a right-winger, but he rarely turns up for training, sometimes does not turn up for matches and seems to live a semi-nomadic existence.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: Ocelot 448GT Mk III supercar; goes like stink when it goes but will let you down when you least want it to.

Alec Harris, left-back: broke into the squad following the Dragon Invitational, rarely crosses the half-way line, solid.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: double-glazing; once it’s in there, you don’t replace it in a hurry.

Benny Jones, centre-half: the joker in the pack, tends to keep spirits up at the down times. Forms a fine partnership with Gus Jenkins for club and country.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: a jack-in-the-box; not very large, occasionally amusing but possesses a fine spring.

Gus Jenkins, centre-half: a man-mountain, giant Gus scores a few from corners as he uses his massive height. His fierce nature on the pitch is belied by his soft-spoken-ness off it. Leads a very quiet private life.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: juggernaut; don’t get in its way when it’s moving.

John Capper, midfield: the real mystery man of the team, lives in a caravan, moved to Coleditch for no evident reason other than he said it was “sentimental reasons” even though there’s no record of him ever having played there or born there (although to be fair no-one knows where he was born). Uses his positional sense to counter his age.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: Mornington Crescent; when you think you know what it's about someone secretly changes the rules.

Will James, right-winger: almost psychic relationship with fellow Grad Tom Devey, although the form of Cosmo Kent has interrupted this for the time being. Learning to defend with Okey overlapping him perennially and having to dash back as "OK Joe" wanders off upfield.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: a bungee run; no matter how much you want to stretch to the far end, you’re always pulled back through something outside your control to where you don’t want to be.

Francis Treves, centre-forward: the superstar of Wentland football and surprisingly still at home-town team Alumgreen. Possibly the best player Wentland has ever seen and he’s only 21. With a bit of luck he will be at the forefront of the game for years to come.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: intercontinental ballistic missile; fast, explosive, utterly deadly.

Martin Smith, centre-forward: another giant, used as a target-man, generally a bit like Bambi on ice on the ground but is forming an excellent partnership with Treves. Not the most intelligent of men and can be out-psyched at times.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: crane; lumbering and towering, but can have destructive effect.

Joe Weston, midfield: another Heathen, wiry and aggressive, tends to wind up the opposition and then sit back and admire his handywork. Good ball skills though.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: sudoku; infuriating but very clever.

Cosmo Kent, left-winger: another young star, from Warpstone; with the Swerving Dip Shot™ that bamboozles goalies from the wing. Shone at the Dragon Invitational, likes to cut in, ambipedous.
If he were an inanimate object he would be: firework; spectacular and dazzling, but needs careful handling.

The Schiavone Scribe
FOrd in respect shocker!
Schiavonia 3-1 San Adriano

In an absolute shock to all Schiavones everywhere, SFF Chief Michael Ford appeared in public last night without making an absolute jerk of himself.

Ford was given the task of looking after Princess Serena, the Head of the Sanadrianese state, during the match, and instead of insulting the tiny nation of little more than four hundred people, he was actually pleasant towards both her and her twenty-one fellow Sanadrianese fans, who were all given executive treatment and the best seats in the King Francesco Stadium by the SFF.

As for the match, it went pretty much how you might expect it for an attacking team like Schiavonia. They managed to put three past a team in their first international match, but conceded a very well worked goal to please the visiting ensemble.

Still, all in all a very satisfying result all round. The Sloths top their group, the visitors scored, Ford didn't make a fool out of himself. Everyone's happy.

Final score
Schiavonia 3 (Tarmey 14, 83 Di Mascheranesi 33)
San Adriano 1 (Wih 38)

Identity Crisis

And on a brief side note.


Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Telegram-Today


Sports Section


Milchama= The new Hypocria

Then who the hell are we?


The answer to that question is of course Hypocria. The only thing that article was, was an explanation of how we have come to have the same luck in footballing as Hypocria and thus have become the new Hypocria.

This has been Thomas Dennis Moore, thank you and good night.

Phew


A recent report by Milchaman chappie Thomas Dennis Moore has prompted much relief around the Autocracy.

"Thank goodness for that." Philip Everyman of Hypocrium told no-one in particular. "For a nasty moment there I thought we’d be known as the old Milchama from now on. But they are more than welcome to our bad luck."

Maybe we should start our own little support group. "Inconsistants Annonymous" I'm thinking it might help.

Now let's see. Who would be included? ASMV, Hypocria, Milchama, Ariddia, Cuation, Pastorville. I'm sure there are some others as well. ;)

Haraki Hawks coach Lloyd Vargas stepped up to the podium in front of Champion's Field in Atherlon, the home stadium of the national football team. It was currently empty inside except for the team, who were inside practising. With all the microphones in front of him, he wasn't sure which one to speak into, so he backed up a little bit and tried speaking. No one heard what he said. He sighed and moved up closer to the podium once more, uttering a "Hello?" that resounded throughout the parking lot where they were standing. "Much better."

He settled into a standing position that was more comfortable as he went on. "I'm slightly disappointed with our performance in East Lithuania. The team just wasn't moving well or playing as a unit the way we did in the Baptism of Fire. We're going to have to step it up a few notches if we want to win any games, and luckily our next game is against Obsidianus. We'll be heading off there tomorrow for our second game of the Cup, and I'm hoping to see some improvement. In this game, we're looking for a fast opening game, something we seriously lacked against the Lithuanians. I'm switching up the roster a bit, at least for the beginning of the game, to give us a faster opening, and a quicker offense. Let's see."

He stopped talking for a moment, flipping through a couple of sheets of lined paper in front of him. They were all hand-written on, with notes scrawled in messy handwriting with a black pen that had evidently been running out of ink. He squinted down at the page when he found it, trying to make out what it said through half the letters missing. "Ah, yes," he muttered once he figured it out, and looked up at the reporters and fans in front of him again. "Foster and Ford are both off for the beginning. Julie Vern and Allison Keyes will be filling in to try and give us an aggressive offense, and on defence ... Nathan Rogers will be filling in for Thorpe. I don't think Thorpe has his confidence back up yet from losing us a goal against East Lithuania, and I think this could be good for him. Any questions?"

"Mr Vargas! Atherlon Daily. I was wondering if you were going to replace Mark Stone in the net. He hasn't seemed himself lately on or off the field, allowing more shots by in games and in practice. Are you thinking about it?"

"How the hell do you know what goes on in practice?" Vargas growled, before continuing on. "Mark is the best keeper we have. If I replace him, I'm probably signing the team's death warrant. In international play like this, we're up against the best in the world. We have to play like the best in the world if we even want to consider getting ahead in the game. We were in the world's top ten once, damnit, and we will be again. If I replace Mark, that's not going to do anything for his confidence. He has to actually play a game and win it to get it back up, so that's what we're going to do."

"A moment ago you said that you were taking Sandy Thorpe off the team to boost his confidence-"

"They're different people, they have different personalities and different confidence boosts. Next question. Prick."

"Mr Vargas, are you hoping to boost the team's confidence by playing teams ranked worse in the world, especially in their home stadiums, and beating them with numbers like it's the Baptism of Fire again?"

"You're damn right I do."

"Mr Vargas, do you think there's a chance for qualifying for Haraki?"

"We may not have a chance to autoqualify, but I think if the boys pull together we could get to the qualifying playoffs."

"Are there any hopes for Haraki to host the Cup in future years?"

"Where the hell did you drag that one up from, boy? I never said anything of the like. No. Although it might be nice someday far in the future."

"Mr Vargas, what do you think about-"

"I'm sorry, I'm out of time. Got to go. See you all in Obsidianus."

He walked away from the podium, to a chorus of reporters with unanswered questions, and back into the stadium.

“Welcome everyone to the first World Cup edition of Tynelian Soccer Weekly. Today’s match was a hard disappointing loss for the national squad falling by a narrow 1-0 margin to the Weegies. Some Tynelians gained a false sense of optimism when the video game version of the cup posted a 2-0 Tynelian win only to be dashed when the actual results came out. Some liken the result to the scoring snafu in the BoF where Tynelia was listed as having won and lost their match with the Green Wombats before it was officially revealed that they had loss. As always this is Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin. So Anna what’s your take on today’s tough loss?”

“Its exactly that Sal, a tough loss. Tynelia coach Marcus O’Meara thought he had a chance to steal a point here but it turns out his defense wasn’t quite good enough to pull one out. A second half goal by the Weegies was enough to hold off an overly cautious Tynelian attack.”

“Well Anna, the plan was to play good defense after all.”

“Maybe but Tynelia needs to take some chances if they’re going to go anywhere. Being shutout isn’t going to help them win many games. In fact Tynelia was the only team that failed to score in the group. The Algar States on the otherhand pulled off a shocking 3-1 win over much higher ranked Kazoo People. The rest of the seeds held up. Now Tynelia is already in a somewhat tough spot. With Risa-Aramour and New Chakovnia up next, Tynelia must win them both to have any kind of momentum going into the game against Bettia where they must try to steal a point.”

“Before we get that far Anna, let’s look back at today’s game. Tynelia was outshot 14-9 and were trailing in quality shots by a 4-2 margin. Time of possession favored the Weegies who controlled the pace after their goal at the 60th minute and stalled gaining a nine minute time of possession advantage. In many ways, they used the game plan Tynelia often used in the BoF. Get a lead then sit on it.”

“Yes, the Weegies clearly controlled the tempo of the game. Something Tynelia must achieve if it wants to get any points these next two games. Tynelia must get more than nine shots a game if they’re going to put points on the board. The offense must get better. Being shutout doesn’t get you many chances to win. Foirtunately, based on their BoF play, Risa-Aramour plays a similar style, low scoring and defensive minded. If Tynelia doesn’t pull out a win in these next two games it will put them in serious difficulties.”

“I know some players were disappointed with the loss, when they felt they could have done more out there. Do you think nerves played a factor in this their first real game with an entire world stage watching them?”

“That may have been a part of it Sal. Going on the road to another country where everything is different can be overwhelming at times to a young team. However, they better get used to it fast or they’ll keep right on losing.”

“Well lets cut to the footage with our on field correspondent Dana Lee where she talked to Coach O’Meara after the game.”

<footage begins to play from the stadium where a disappointed Coach O’Meara is being interviewed.>

“SO Coach what do you think happened out there?”

“We lost Dana, plain and simple. Everything we tried, they did a little bit better. I know Vladimar is upset with himself for letting that goal through but no one is going to stop every shot against a more experienced team like the Weegies or some of the other teams down the road. We’ll just have to regroup and get ready for Risa-Aramour.”

“What about the offense? This is the first time in world play that Tynelia has been shutout in its brief history. Do you think the players will recover from that?”

“These men and women are pros Dana. Everyone out there has been shut out at some point in their soccer careers. One more won’t break them. It would have been nice to break the ice here in the first game and take a point people wouldn’t expect us to take but these things happen. We’ll see them again down the road and in our house. Maybe we can get a different result then.”

“Well Risa-Aramour, your next opponent, also lost today and will be hungry for a win as well. What are your plans to beat them?”

“We’re just going to keep playing to our strength and hope for the best. If we play a sound game defensively and force some turnovers we’ll put up a good effort tomorrow. I’m sure the team will be a bit fired up after today’s shutout so that might be the extra edge we’ll need. At least we’ve seen these guys play before in the BoF so we’ll have a better idea of what to expect from them than some of the other teams. We’ll be fine I’m sure.”

“Ok Coach, I’ll let you get back to the locker room now. Sal and Anna back to you in the studio.”

<cameras return to the studio>

“Do you agree Anna?”

“Given the team he has Tynelia does need to stay faithful to its defensive mindset but I still think they would have done better to put together a more offensive minded team. Hopefully, these next two games will let the team get something organized on offense that works. The first goal is always the toughest to score no matter what league you play. Tynelia just better hope they don’t have to wait too long for it.”

“So do you think this loss shows Tynelia is not ready for the main event?”

“Its only one loss, and they did put in a good showing defensively against a team better than twice its rank. However good showings won’t get them too far. They need to get points. And they need to steal points from the higher seeds. They also absolutely take full advantage of the teams ranked below them. In my opinion they must win at least 5 of the 6 games and more likely all 6 they have against Risa-Aramour, Algar States and New Chazovnia to have even a prayer of getting into the top three. And even then they need to pull off a couple of upsets and hope there are a lot of ties to keep the overall points low. It is an extremely difficult task for a team playing in only its first World Cup and probably too much to ask for this year.”

“So what do you think is reasonable then?”

“Basically if they can hold their seeding then they can be satisfied. At best I think if things break right for them they might have an outside shot of possibly sneaking into fourth but that will be pushing things.”

“So you feel the Tynelian fans shouldn’t have too high an expectation for this Cup?”

“Of course the fans should keep their hopes up. One game doesn’t decide anything. What I’m saying is that given the state of Tynelian soccer compared to where it stands in other countries, qualifying for the Cup isn’t realistic this time around. Maybe next year with more experience under their belt they could change that but for now I think its asking too much Sal.”

“OK Anna, you’re probably right about what to expect these next couple of weeks but until its officially over we can always hope.”

“Definitely Sal, Tynelian fans can keep their hopes up for a good showing and support our fine athletes in their games like we will continue to do here. They just have to accept that as much as all Tynelia wants them to qualify for the Cup the odds are that it won’t this time.”

“Very well then Anna. I see we’re out of time here now. So with the Tynelia/Risa-Aramour game being shown life tomorrow evening we’ll be back again right after the game with reactions and repercussions win, lose or draw. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishiong everyone a good night.”

<credits roll>

Cuation Win Evolution Battle

"I am Neville Clarkson and this is Cuation Sports 24.The first World Cup qualfying rounds was played today and Cuation played host to Atheistic Right. Some fans choose to stay at home and with poor morale among the Cuation nation, Atheistic Right fancined an upset. Facing 3 attackers, the home defence was unsettled early on."

Snake comes forward from midfield with the ball, Ferguson on his heels. Played forward to Scorpion, takes a shot! Oh and its in! 16 minutes played and Cuation are behind. Seamen was cuaght out by the snapshot! Can this makeshift side fight back?

"Cuation's manager was clearly not happy with the way the team defended for that goal. Rio was cuaght in two minds, if to stay in midfeild or mark Jackal, in the end doing neither. Yan moved to mark Jackal with Butcher racing inside to block Scorpion's run."

"A good ball to Scorpion gave him time to do what he wished. He suprised everyone with a first time shot, a decent effort but one that a prepared goalie would have saved. Seamen was cuaght out, clearly expecting the striker to control the ball, his dive too late."

"Snake would find it hard going against Roy Ferguson as Rio Samba dropped into defence, creating a 5-3-2 formation, the full backs often pushing forward to turn it into a 3-5-2 formation. Organised now, the defence ensure the strikers would not get a kick."

"A battle ensued in the middle of the pitch for control but expirence and freedom of the flanks benfitted Cuation though they knew they would tire late on so they must equalise soon. Asthon was powering around though Rual and Tanner found life hard up front, forced to hunt for scraps as the teams final ball let them down."

Badger loses out to Cole as Cuation press forward. Good pass to Ashton, he is free on the right with options open as he comes forward. Cuts inside towards Tortoise. Will he shoot? No he plays it through for Cole! One on one now, he shoots low! Goal! Five minutes before half time, a real boost for the fans!

"As soon as Badger lost the ball, Cuation had the right side to itself but Ashton did a lot of running to exploit the space. Coming inside, he and the strikers ensure that attention was on them. Cole doesn't get into scoring postions often but a good pass set him up to face Eagle. Composed finish from the right back to pull Cuation level."

"Half time came and went, Cuation kept control of the game but the final ball was still lucking. In the 55th minute, ineffective Rual Mendiz was pulled off for playmaker Giovanni, the team playing 5-4-1. His passing started to open the game up but the defence was still clearing anything coming into the box."

Giovanni dribbles past Ant and bursts into space. Ashton and Milnar have joined Tanner in trying to trouble the defence. Cole is free on the right, Roy Ferguson is coming forward. One two played with Cole as Giaovanni moves out right. Curls the cross to the far post, Milnar fals to get it but Butcher does! 2-1! 67th minute and Butcher has headed Cuation in front.

"Eagle might perhaps have come for that cross but he will learn from expirence. When Giovanni is on form, he adds so much to the team with his passing and tricks. He did well to make space for himself then use Cole to get out wide. The cross was inch perfect, Butcher really couldn't miss."

"From this point on, Cuation sat back, using Giovanni's passing and Tanner's height to counter attack but really neither side created anything. Hargreves and Keano would come off the bench as Cuation timewasted. A good showing by Atheistic Right, some more expirence and learning to deal with wing play, this side could rise quickly."

"One match played and Cuation take top spot in the group. A good postion to start off in but performance must improve if Cuation are to go into the net round of the World Cup."

Man of the Match Roy Ferguson

"The expirenced midfielder spent most of the match on his own, harrying Ant and Snake, preventing them from gaining control of the game. Willing to aid any attack, his passing was good. Stood head and shoulders above everyone else."

Outrage at Fake Score

"In an intresting turn of events, a game was used to provide alternate scores. We failed to win, only managing a 1-1 draw. Due to some mixups, people thought it was the real score and when they learnt it was false, went on a hunt for the pranksters. They have since been calmed with the truth and look forward to seeing our the game team get on."

Next Match

"Away to Kirstiriera, unranked but they did managed a credible result against the Paladins. With Cuation's inconsistancy, this may be a close match which Cuation will struggle with. If Cuation are to get 3rd place, they must win this type of match."

Maybe we should start our own little support group. "Inconsistants Annonymous" I'm thinking it might help.

Now let's see. Who would be included? ASMV, Hypocria, Milchama, Ariddia, Cuation, Pastorville. I'm sure there are some others as well

"As soon as we join, we will all start being consistant.;)

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


On This Day

On this day, 100 years ago, Spaam set out on the road to becoming one of
the greatest and most experienced Footballing nations ever. In its debut
World-Class international in the qualifying for World Cup III, the then unknown
team caused shockwaves by winning its home match against Western
Flanders. This was a sign to come, as towards the end of qualifying, Spaam
finished within a single win of qualifying for the World Cup. In that new team,
was a young, fresh-faced midfielder, by the name of Lehua Hoopai. Of
course, Hoopai then went on to become one of Spaam's greatest ever players
and coaches.

Spaam 2:1 Western Flanders

Spaam Celebrates In Style

On the hundredth centenary of Spaam's World Cup (qualifying) debut, 163rd
ranked Obsidianus were lucky enough to be hosted in the famous Artanis
National Football Stadium, in front of almost a quarter of a million screaming
football fans. You could not blame them for feeling apprehensive at this
impressive spectacle, and they were almost as eager as the home team to
provide the fans with a thrilling ninety minutes of football. After a fireworks
display and the national anthem, everything was underway for the start of
Spaam's 25th World Cup qualifying campaign.

Unfortunately for Obsidianus, and possibly the fans, the home crowd
advantage was too much, with Spaam dominating the entire match. Credit
had to be given to them for defending against some very intense pressure,
but nothing could stop the Spaamanian juggernaut. The first half saw the 30
year old captain of the Waffles, Ewa Ivey, score after just 8 minutes, and
vice-captain Mylor Goss score just ten minutes later. Obsidianus had perhaps
one decent chance during the entire half, but the save was too easy for
goalie Morwetha Jelbert.

The second half was much the same, with young midfielder Crewenna Roskelly
scoring in the 57th minute, Goss getting his second with less than 5 minutes
to go, and no more than a couple of potential chances from the visitors. Of
course, the fans were ecstatic that Spaam started its centenary qualification
with such an impressive win. Coach Dochou Gee said after the match "They
(Obsidianus) obviously had a case of the jitters, but who can blame them. I
am very proud of my team, and with any luck, we can continue this
performance through out qualification."

Spaam 4:0 Obsidianus
(1 Ivey 8; 17 Goss 18, 85; 4 Roskelly 57)

The Group Of Death

In other Group 8 news, world number 7 Starblaydia rested up with a bye, and
so are yet to officially start their qualifcation campaign. Second ranked
Oliverry had an extremely impressive win over new nation Shing Shang,
destroying them six goals to one. And no, that one was not an own goal.
Spaam's main rivals Wentland were not too bothered by the sub-par
Priggdom, coming in easy 3-1 winners, and East Lithuania kept veterans
Haraki scoreless, winning two nil. No real surprises on the table either, with
Spaam currently second to Oliverry.

Oliverry 6:1 Shing-Shang
Wentland 3:1 Priggdom
East Lithuania 2:0 Haraki

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Oliverry 1 1 0 0 6 1 5 3
2 Spaam 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
3 Wentland 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
4 East Lithuania 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
5 Starblaydia 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Priggdom 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
7 Haraki 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
8 Obsidianus 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0
9 Shing-Shang 1 0 0 1 1 6 -5 0

Plijous Watch

In other qualifying games, Spaamanian Plijous went down to the Islands of
Qutar in a hard fought 2-1 away loss. Qutar star striker Ali opened the game
with an impressive goal in the 34th minute, but the Gulls captain Alan Belmore
came up with the equaliser five minutes later, easily beating Qutar keeper
Peter Stone. The game was quite brutal after the first half, with both sides
fighting hard to get the winner, but it was the Qutarian's Ali with his second
at the eighty minute mark that finished the game. After the match, the Gulls
captain said "Grrr Arrrgh."

Islands of Qutar 2:1 Spaamanian Plijous
(Ali 34, 80) (Belmore 39)

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
6 Squornshelous 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Spaamanian Plijous 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
8 Jon Parkin 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0

Next Week

Next week, Spaam's main rivals, Wentland, host former champions Starblaydia
in what should be a good match. Spaamanian critics are hoping for a 1-3 loss
to the Swifts. Shing-Shang host Spaam, and we shall be most displeased if
we don't come up with a away win. Meanwhile the Priggdom host Lithuania
and Obsidianus host Haraki, with sports analysts predicting a full compliment
of away wins all round. Oliverry gets the week off, which is fair since they
scored six goals in their first game. Spaamanian Plijous makes sure there is a
game on Spaamanian soil, hosting the Macabees, and praying for a draw.

Photo Opportunities

Spaam Waffles' captain Ewa Ivey in a promo shoot.

http://us.inmagine.com/168nwm/brandxpictures/x241/bxp63880.jpg

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Hello good football fans of the World, this is CNN. We will open our show with recent news. Our beloved Fighting Norris lost their first World Cup match to Yafor 2 by a score of 1-2. Here's our summary:

Mr Chuck Norris 1 (Chuck Norris 47)
Yafor 2 2 (Fernando Malar 6, Francisco Malar 40)

The Fighting Norris knew it was going to be a rough match right from the start. Yafor 2 made an unorthodox charge right off the bat, weaving right through the Fighting Norris defense. Luckily for the Fighting Norris, goalkeeper Mr. Bednarik was able to chalk up his first save of the tourney. However, almost immeadiatly, Yafor 2 was back on the offensive. Gerod Flamer quickly seized the ball from a charging Zach Brickhouse and easily weaved through the Fighting Norris novice defenders. Mr. Bednarik, positioned to stop the shot at all costs found himself befuddled when Gerod Flamer tapped the ball behind himself to Fernando Malar. Fernando Malar then proceeded to easily place the ball in the corner of the net for a score in the 6th minute. Those on the Yafor 2 sideline were actually found laughing when they realized how easy it was going to be to win the match.

However, The Fighting Norris were determined to keep the game close. Soon after play continued, Yafor 2 had yet another chance to score. Damiel Fraten found himself faking out both Fighting Norris midfielder Pat Smock and Fighting Norris defender ♪, opening up a one on one chance against Fighting Norris goalkeeper Mr. Bednarik. However, it appeared divine intervention was going to take place at this match when Damiel Fraten suddenly collapsed. The crowd fell silent as they watched and wondered what happened. Damiel Fraten was then crated off the field, we are still unaware of his condition. When asked about the incident after the match Coach of the Fighting Norris Bob Janney said "Wow... that was weird".

After that incident, a game of ping-pong ensued, with the ball going up and down the field several times. Both teams midfielders were putting up a good fight. Things only turned wose for the Fighting Norris when Yafor 2 initiated a hard drive at about the 38th minute. Francisco Malar sped down the field, successfully avoiding several Fighting Norris midfielders and defenders. Francisco Malar, when finally open for a shot, launched the ball only to find it deflected off Fighting Norris defender Jack Moon and sitting out of bounds. The whistle blew as both sides prepared for a corner kick. However, the referee informed everyone in the crowd that it appeared that the ball had touched Jack Moon's hand when it was deflected, so Yafor 2 would take a penalty kick. Cheers erupted from the Yafor 2 fans, who greatly outnumbered the fans of The Fighting Norris. "WHAT!? It never hit his hands! Are you blind!?", Bob Janney was found screaming a mixture of insults, complaints, and obsenities from the sideline. Francisco Malar's penalty kick clanged off the upper crossbar of the goal, but Francisco Malar appeared determined to score the goal. He continued chargin forward and managed to somehow land his head on the ball, sending it past Fighting Norris Goalkeeper Mr. Bednarik. This shot in the 40th minute marked yet another goal for Yafor 2, putting them up two goals over the scoreless Fighting Norris.

The half ended with little action, setting up a new start for The Fighting Norris. Play proceeded with a bang, Fighting Norris midfielder Paper Mario managed to seize the ball and soar down the field like an airplane. Dodging several eager Yafor 2 defensive players only to dump the ball off on Fighting Norris forward, OJ Pimpson. Pimpson proceeded to put the ball up in the air right to Chuck Norris's wide open feet. Yafor 2 Goalkeeper Deron Smithes's eyes widened at the sight of Chuck Norris looking straight at him. It looked to us like he mouthed "Don't do it Mr. Norris", but that didn't stop good old Chuck. Chuck Norris reeled back and revved up his infamous roundhouse kick, which blew by a bedazzled Deron Smithes for the Fighting Norris' first World Cup goal in the 47th minute of the match.

Yafor 2 was forced to go back on guard being only one goal up, and it appeared our Fighting Norris were determined to at least conjure a tie. Yafor 2's midfielders and the midfielders of The Fighting Norris duked it out for another thirty minutes, proved by the fact that there wasn't a single shot on goal in these thirty minutes. "That's got to be some kind of record" said an amazed Bob Janney.

The clock closed in on the 80th minute, leaving only 10 minutes for the Fighting Norris to log one goal for a tie and two for a win. The Fighting Norris logged several good charges only to find them broken up time and time again by the defenders of Yafor 2. With only 2 minutes left, The Fighting Norris launced their last attack. All of the Fighting Norris midfielders and forwards got a good break downfield, dancing the ball around the Yafor 2 defense. The clock ticked down... 10... 9... 8... the forwards of the Fighting Norris would only have one opportunity to tie. The Burger King controlled the ball to an open shot... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

The Burger King shrugs his shoulders in the locker room after the match. "That's alright, you gave it your best", coach Bob Janney told him patting him on the back. "I'll be completely honest, I expected us to lose by more than one goal... you guys played good".

And so the first World Cup match concluded for the Fighting Norris. In related news, Bob Janney has been called out on some of his previous comments, he wishes to clear those up now.

"Well, the first two rounds just finished up and here's what I'm thinking", comments a concentrated Bob Janney, "one would think the groups could be mathematically sorted from hardest to easiest in terms of difficulty to qualify by averaging the ranks of the two teams drawn into each group so far. That being said, here's my rankings on the groups from hardest to easiest after the first two rounds:

Group 4
Group 8
Group 3
Group 11
Group 7
Group 10
Group 2
Group 5
Group 1
Group 6
Group 9
Group 12

I figure the further down on that list we can get, the better our chances of qualifying are."


The Schiavone Scribe
Ford at it again


The most unpopular Schiavone in international football (though he's not challenged by many for that honour) Michael Ford opened his mouth in public again last night. And, as we all know, that's never a good sign.

His target this time - Bob Janney, the Coach of the national team of Mr Chuck Norris. We'll just quote him, and put in our usual bit about this being the opinion of Mr Ford, and that the Schiavone Scribe cannot be held responsible for anything he says.

"How dare he say that our qualifying group is the easiest one. He obviously hasn't seen the teams in it play recently. Squornshelous are as strong as ever, us and Qutar have progressed like no teams have for years, Kericia are no knockovers, The Macabees are progressing well, and the kittens are a good outside bet. No, I wouldn't say it was easy at all. Stupid newbies, turning up and thinking they know it all. Gour 4 the hardest? Apart from the top two, that's a piece of piss! They can't even get their teams together properly! Hell, one of their players is called ♪! Quaver! It's not even a specific note! Crazy, I tell you..."


Hello good Fighting Norris fans, allow me to clear up my previous statements. First and foremost Mr Ford, if you're going to quote me, I'd appreciate you including my whole quote instead of starting my quote where it makes me look the worst. I'd especially like you to note the most important part, which it appears you didn't observe. The part where I say "one would think the groups could be mathematically sorted from hardest to easiest in terms of difficulty to qualify by averaging the ranks of the two teams drawn into each group so far". THAT'S ALL I DID! There was no analysis, no research, just cold raw mathematical statistics. I averaged the top two ranks in every group, and your group had the lowest average rank... I have nothing against group 12, it's just math. I'd also like to address when you said "Gour 4 the hardest? Apart from the top two, that's a piece of piss!". Would the top two having abnormally high rankings not make it harder to qualify for a team like mine!? Look at it this way, if I had the choice between going up against Sarzonia and Krytenia (ranks 4 and 16) for qualification or Squornshelous and Schiavonia (ranks 11 and 29), more than likely, I'm going to pick group 12 because I have a much higher chance to qualify. Mr Ford, I'm not sure how many people have challenged your mindless ramblings, but I hope I'm the first so that you might regognize the error of your ways and turn to reform... or counseling. I'd like to state the important note that these comments have no relation to Schiavonia, just Mr Ford. Thank you for allowing me to speak...

Wow.. that was... interesting. Unfortunaly for us, our stats guy, Theo Retical is currently absent with a case of the 24 hour bird flu, so we will close our show with the Fighting Norris World Cup 27 schedule and record.

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2 (Loss 1-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Record: (0-0-1)

No scores today

On their bye-day, the Orange-Blues played a match against System Karela in Sike kali. The Defenders do not participate this time because the temple considered the NSWC 'takilan' and 'attack-oriented'. In this friendly, the va'karela'ny glowed as they used to in the time of the Karelan Dictatorship. The Karelans spent the entire time in their half and the Orange-Blues had a hard time attacking because the va'karela'ny were really inhibiting. Even "maniac" Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile was quiet. The best chance for the Orange-Blues was Haraira Tamak~hi using a mistake in the 10 men Karelan defense to attempt to score, but the va'karela'ny made him miss by metres. Unsurprisingly the match ended scoreless.

Watching and Waiting

Squornshelous Gears up for TIoQ
After their first matchday bye, the Pschychoes are looking to make a good start to this World Cup Qualifying by beating one of their main rivals in Group 12. The Islands of Qutar, who made an impressive run in World Cup 26, will play Squornshelous for the first time, and the match will take place on their home ground. There, Squornshelous's new attacking strategy will be put to the test. In related news, a press release from the nation of Apologetic Kittens voiced some slight resentment by their team for being dismissed as a non-contender by the Squornshelan press. When asked whether he plans to talk to his team about this, Manager Seamus McCormack said no. "We'll come to that when the times comes. Squornshelous's biggest weakness has consistently been losing their focus and giving up matches we should have won. No one on the team is thinking about Apologeti Kittens or whether they'll be tougher after being stirred up by our press."

Mariners begin with a Draw
Stade National Rêvane-Sud, ARI - The first match is over, and the Kelsian National Football Team has begun it's first World Cup Qualifying run with a draw, against heavily favored Arridia. After an impressive pre-game show, the match started with Arridia playing a fairly better game than the Kelsians, and there superiority led them to their first goal, an assist from Ismail Faraj to Michael Swimmer that landed into the back of the goal. Less than ten minutes later, after a breakaway from mid-fielder Seato Enzo led to a pass to Carlos Santena near the goal box, who dribbled a few feet before shooting it into the back of the net. By the end of the first half, it was decided that the Mariners could most likely not get a goal into the back of the net, and so they focused more on defense.

The second half was pretty much very boring. The Kelsian defense did well in keeping the ball out from near their goal area, and the Ariddian defense pretty much did the same. The match than came to a close, and the score from half-time stood, 1 to 1. Although only a draw, it was something to cheer about and the Mariners were ecstatic that they didn't lose, something that most BoF teams pretty much always do.

During the post-game press conference, the team seemed pretty confident about it's ability to do well in the next game against Pedriana. Coach Centino said, "I think were going to do great tomorrow, I mean, we held our own against Ariddia, we can definately do it in Pedriana." Forward Julio Espinoza, who was shut-out at the game, said, "We're going to win. We better win. I hope we win. We have to win. Oh god, I hope we don't lose..."

Kelse will play its second WC 27 qualifying match against Pedriana later today, which will be broadcasted live across the country on Athletica De Lux, channel 15 in the greater Saint-Monica area. Elsewhere, please check your local listings.

Edgar Bluff did not find it hard to motivate his team for the Starblaydia game. Comments from the Starblaydi media that the Wentland press generally talked “rubbish” had riled the squad members and Bluff had reacted accordingly by including Hopkins and Wright in the starting line-up in place of Smith and, erm, Jones, to add a bit of pep to the fixture.

The WFA had chosen The Garrison, the brutalist home ground of Royal Heath, to host the Starblaydi fixture. Home of both of the new starters, The Garrison was a comparatively ancient fixture, a concrete rectangle with sweeping corners and semi-cantilever roof that between them did an excellent job of keeping the noise in. No seats in three-quarters of the ground, as Royal Heath was in a fairly poor district of Greystone and the cost of installation would prove prohibitive. But the retention of terraces meant that a sell-out crowd of nearly 40,000 would provide a cauldron atmosphere for the Starblaydis to endure. Policing was higher than normal, given the risk of crowd trouble (something for which the Heathens were sadly known).

After a hundred or so years of fairly anonymous division-shuffling the fearsome new manager of Royal Heath, Col. Cross, had instilled a disciplined and combative team whose brutalism matched their surroundings. Hopkins had the look of someone in whose mouth butter would not melt, but once took on a pub armed with nothing but a cricket bat and came out victorious. Wright was a solid wall of a man who had formerly boxed and spent time in a juvenile offenders’ institution. The “Beautiful Game” was unknown to him as he treated the average football with contempt, as well as any player in the near vicinity. Four red cards in his first season seemed to presage what was to come but with a nascent maturity he was beginning to develop some sort of sensitivity of touch and had gone an entire season without being dismissed. A red card on his international debut was a blot on his copybook and he needed to chill in international matches.

The familiarity with their surroundings was another factor in their choice. If it went wrong Jones and Smith were on the bench, but everyone’s fingers were well and truly crossed. This was a game in which defeat was to be avoided if at all possible.

Starting line-up:

Derrington

Okey Wright Jenkins Harris

James Weston Capper Kent

Hopkins Treves

The Garrison:
http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/1962/garrison6cu.jpg

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Slow Revival
by Rami Niblick in Aigburth

THE signs of promise are there, but it was a spluttering display from the new-look Aces at ArenaWest. Their opponents may have never been at the races in this tie, but the home side weren't exactly champing at the bit either, and the fans were releived more than anything else with the one-nil scoreline.

Even the goal had some luck attached to it. Though Tom Cooper's pass was spot on, Roger Sauvage's shot was going wide until it clipped a defender's boot and lolloped over the keeper. Sauvage claimed the goal, continuing the long tradition of goalscoring debuts for Krytenian strikers. The Llama Harmers are next after some early R&R on Matchday Two.

KRYTENIA - 1
Sauvage 51

REVIVED CONSTANTINOPLE - 0


SCORERS:
R. Sauvage - 1

FIXTURES:
MD01: H v RCO W 1-0 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD02: NO FIXTURE
MD03: H v LTH ????? (Walton Gardens, Simpson)
MD04: A v PAL ?????
MD05: H v RVL ????? (Midland Stadium, Bromham)
MD06: H v SRZ ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD07: H v HYP ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD08: A v LGL ?????
MD09: H v VAI ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: A v RCO ?????
MD11: NO FIXTURE
MD12: A v LTH ?????
MD13: H v PAL ????? (Lays Road Ground, Leston)
MD14: A v RVL ?????
MD15: A v SRZ ?????
MD16: A v HYP ?????
MD17: H v LGL ????? (Oxley Park, Everton City)
MD18: A v VAI ?????

Wilson, Stars hope for an edge

HYPOCRIUM (ASP) -- Even though it's been a few Cup since Sarzonia faced Hypocria in World Cup qualifying, Coach Dave Wilson comes into the match with far more than a passing interest in the battle in what some observers have called the qualifiers' Group of Death. Wilson coached the Hyppos for World Cups XXV and XXVI and both times the team failed to qualify. However, Wilson latched back onto the Stars in an attempt to "restore calm" to a tumultuous programme.

Wilson's next task will be much different. He hopes to lead his Stars to another win over the Hyppos in his first match at the Hyppodrome since he left the Hyppos to return to Sarzonia. For his part, Wilson is trying to downplay the significance of the matchup, calling it "a stern test," but choosing not to play up the possibility of a rivalry. Yet.

"It's going to be a game against a team I have a world of respect for and I've had respect for the Hyppos since before the days I started coaching there," Wilson said. "I would have liked to work with those guys more than I ended up doing, but a combination of events is what led me to coach against the Hyppos here."

That combination, Hypocrian impatience with a team that has fallen short despite highly skilled play and a Sarzonian football organisation in upheaval, brought Wilson the dual role of Incorporated Football Federation Chairman and national team coach. He said he'll lean heavily on former Liverpool England manager Sir Douglas Freech in the newly-created role of IFF president so "I can concentrate on this job.

"I'll still be responsible for charting the direction of the Sarzonian national team," Wilson said. "Our first priority will be to develop the youth programme and improve our team's depth. Our next priority will be to ensure that we have a strong plan in place to keep the team going in a unified direction. But my immediate task is and will be to defeat the Hyppos."

It's a task Wilson is well-suited for. He coached the Stars to a 4-0 win in Hypocrium the last time these teams met there in a meaningful match and the Stars have yet to taste defeat against Hypocria in World Cup play. However, the Hyppos have won two straight matches against Sarzonia in AOCAF play, a fact not lost on Wilson.

"This team has to remember that Hypocria will not be an easy match. The fact we haven't played and we had extra time to prepare for Hypocria gives us little advantage. They know how I like to play and Alex Santoro is a different coach with different ideas for his team. I may know some of the players, but that doesn't mean they'll play the same roles or even be at the same level they were last time they played. They may have gotten a lot better since I was there."

Whether they have may be a question, but one thing that won't be is where Wilson's loyalties are.

"I'm a Sarzonian and I'm back with the team where I got my start," he said. "My mission herre is the same it's always been. To bring a championship to the team I'm coaching." And if Sarzonia is to accomplish that mission, they'll first have to go through an old, familiar friend to do it.

Garrison Holds No Fear
Starblaydia not intimidated

Starblaydi footballers are never ones to be intimidated. Just 40,000 people standing up yelling at them? That's nothing.

"When you've been the away team at the Jader Barbahlo," said veteran Iskara Daii forward Raphaelo, "then you can talk about pressure and intimidation. Forty-thousand is nothing."

The Jader Barbahlo, of course, is the home of Jhanna City, the Daii's cross-town rivals. It seats 96,000 spectators, larger than any other stadium in Starblaydia. Currently their only player on the national team is winger Cherry Garcia. The man who took her starting #7 shirt, however, had this to say about stadia:

"Our first game may be Away to Wentland in a supposedly intimidating stadium," said Paul Noble, 23, "but when they come back to our place on Matchday Eleven, Victory Park will show 'em how it's done properly."

Victory Park, home of his side, Vecchio Victors, is 'just' a 36,000 seater, one of the smallest in Liga Starblaydia, but with the near all-enclosing roof around it, plus the dedicated Vics' fans who come to see their team every week, there's a special atmosphere there. It's even been said that the dignitary to be introduced to the two teams at the beginning of the match will be seventy-eight year-old Ryan Garry, the first Captain of Starblaydia and long-time Vics stalwart at left-back.

Should be an interesting match. But first, there's the little matter of showing Wentland just how good Starblaydia can be. They're wanting to set their marker down after Oliverry's high-scoring victory over Shing-Shang, to show just who's going to win this group.

"Elrich and Peter Hobble?!" by Nev Gould

The man commonly known as SDB among journalists, or Simeone Di Bradini the Starblaydian President of the World Cup Commitee, had some interesting things to say. This was recently recorded as he made his way to a restaraunt ."As far as I'm aware, Peter Hobble is still a Bazalonian player", he continued to say "Whatever claims Elrich may have to Hobble as a citizen of their nation". This is the first thing we have heard about a Elrich claim for Peter Hobble. James Gaines had this comment at a press conference after I and many other Journalists I know had bombarded the BFSA with quuestions. "We can confirm that not only is Peter Hobble is a Werewolf but the Elrich team have laid claim to him. Apparently under Elrich law any new Werewolf looses any previous identity and is considered by Elrich to be only an Elrich Citizen. However we wrote a letter to Mr Di Bradini making him aware of the exact situation and his ruling is final. Peter Hobble is staying in the Team for now. We may choose however to not include Peter, depending on what happens."

Why did it make a public statement from Di Bradini for the BFSA to announce this? either way my respect for James Gaines has gone done a number of pegs.

Matchday 2 scores can be found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10532995#post10532995).

To: Manni Aka, Minister of Sport, The Kazoo Peoples
From: Lord Valentin Quintaro
Chairman & Supervising Manager
Draggonnii Inviyatii Selection Committee
Football Promotions Division
ASMV Athletics Improvement Program

As ASMV does not share your bye date during WC27 qualification, We would like to propose a friendly match between your squad and the Sea Dragon "B" squad which took part in the Draggonnii Inviyatii.

If this proposition is acceptable to you, simply let us know and we will fly that squad over to compete in the friendly on your ground.

Thanks for considereing this proposal.
Lord Quintaro.

The Brink of chaos

"As far as I'm aware, Peter Hobble is still a Bazalonian player, despite his new 'attributes'. Hobble has played on the international stage for his country, Bazalonia, and now he is ineligible to play for any other team. I seem to remember two nations wanting to trade their national players with each other, which we put a halt to. Whatever claims Elrich may have to Hobble as a citizen of their nation, he may only play for Bazalonia, assuming they still want to pick him. Elrich law doesn't apply here, mine does. That's all I have to say on that."

Bill Murray stared at the TV in disbelief. All that hard work.... those late evenings for nothing. Wait a second, had the Starblaydia Minister not seen the scorers in the Elrich - Qazox game from matchday 1????? Judging from his comments in the press conference he obviously hadn't.... And... oh no, the Bazalonians as well!!! This could be very messy indeed.

And the Tic-Tac-TV news crew had picked it up as well. Presenter Stan Barrows was clearly loving it. He was now showing repeated clips of Peter Hobble's hat-trick against Qazox, whilst commentating his own point of view over the top in his excited voice,

" And these three goals coming in in a game which, according to the Starbalaydian president and World Cup regulations Peter Hobble wasn't allowed to play in.

The sporting fate of our nation is in the balance - what could happen next? Apparantly Peter Hobble wasn't allowed to play yesterday - 3 goals later what could happen what could the outcome be? Will Elrich be punished? Could Mike Bassett's side be kicked out of international football? What's going to happen to the WC President after this misunderstanding? I don't know Sports fans, but I do know that the place to find out first is here, on TicTac TV. I'm Stan Barrows, goodnight."

Bill turned the TV off, swore and put his head in his hands. This was big.

Minister of Sport and Head Coach of the Kazoo national football team Manni Aka, in a press conference earlier today announced that he had lined up two matches for the Kazoos' bye dates, matchdays 3 and 12.

"It's better than with our thumbs up our s that day," he said. "Our first match, on matchday three, will be against Milchama. The match will be held in Kazoo Kola Stadium, in our capital of Kazoo City."

"Our second match will be against Lowland Clans on matchday 12. We haven't decided if we will be at home, or away, but that information will be made available as soon as we know it."

"Thanks coach."

"You're welcome."

RECAP:

Matchday 3:
The Kazoo Peoples - Milchama
@ Kazoo Kola Stadium, Kazoo City, The Incorporated States of The Kazoo Peoples
Ticket Prices: K$29 - K$59

Matchday 12:
The Kazoo Peoples - Lowland Clans
@ To be determined (if at home, Kazoo Kola Stadium, Kazoo City)
Ticket Prices: K$29 - K$59

And as the schedule fills, here is the new WC27 qualification schedule:

[B]PROGRESS IN WORLD CUP 27:
MD1: loss to Algal states 2-1
MD2: Total n Utter Insanity, home
MD3: Milchama, home (friendly)
MD4: The Weegies, away
MD5: Risa-Aramour, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: Lowland Clans, TBD (friendly)
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away

[[OOC: This is an IC-request for scorination against the Milchama side on MD3, and a request for scorination against the Lowland Clans on MD12. Thanks!]]

The Schiavone Scribe
Ford arrested

In an unlikely turn of events, SFF Chief Michael Ford has been held by the Royal Kingsbury Police after a break-in was reported at the palace of King Francesco.

The disturbance occured during the visit of the Sanadrianese Head of State, Princess Serena, to the Royal House. The Princess was in the country following her nation's match against Schiavonia at the stadium named after the Schiavone monarch.

Though it has not been made public why Ford has been taken in, Police officers have been seen searching Ford's premises all day.

It is also thought that, should the police find strong evidence against Ford, the SFF chief could well be extradited to Liverpool England, where further charges af defamation and harrassment await him.

Elsewhere, the SFF have failed to secure themselves an opponent for Matchday Two. The invite is still open to anyone wishing to play the Sloths on Matchday Eleven, be it another second ranked team without a game, a hosting nation without a game or even a nation looking for their first international experience. "Anyone will do!" says Schiavonia's team manager Rodney Lowe.

SBC News Alert!
Today Swilatia has had its second match in the world cup qualifications. The match, which was against Popolus, was a 3-nothing Swilatian victory.

The match was pretty much a nightmare for poplus, as they did not either defend themselves well from the onslaught of Swilatian Footballers attacking their goal, or try hard to score a goal against us.

Not only did we have a victory, but we are also amongst the top 3 nations in its group. if it stays this way, Swilatia might finally qualify for a world cup. Because of this, I do hope it does stay.

However we are not sure yet, as tommorow will be a match against Rejistania, the highest ranked nation in our qualification group. This could mean a horrible loss tommorow.

However, some of the best nations are not doing to well at all this world cup. This cup might go against the odds the we all thoght this would go with at the beginning.

The Hawks had arrived in Obsidianus and barely had enough time to prepare for games on the field before it was time to go into the locker room for the pre-game talk and change. Obsidianus were another team who were veterans from the Baptism of Fire, although Haraki had not played them before. Vargas had little to tell them after they finished changing. "Listen up, boys and girls. We've got a changed lineup to start out with tonight, you know that. The point of this is just to get us a lead in the beginning of the game, and then hold onto it. We did this a lot in the BoF, and it worked. We almost claime dthe championship. Now I think if we end our sluggish streak right here we can bounce back and win some good games. Let's show these fans some football."

They jogged out onto the field as unlikely heroes, in front of a crowd definitely cheering for the other side. Shouts for the Obsidianan team were overwhelming, and only a few scattered spots were cheering for the Hawks, who received the kickoff and tapped it to Sharp, who tore off towards the Obsidianan goal. With Samantha Ribald and Allison Keyes supporting him, they played a perfect triangular formation to get away a good ten minutes of posession culminating in Ribald's first shot of the Cup. It was stopped, but the precedent set by it continued on for the rest of the game. The Harakians had eighteen minutes of posession out of the first twenty-five, with a total of four shots on net, and two quality ones.

The Obsidianus team had only one good shot on net, which was easily stopped by Mark Stone. He seemed to be getting his confidence back facing off against the worse-off Obsidianus offence than the East Lithuanians. As the game went on, he stopped every goal coming at him, and by the end of it the old fire in his eyes was back. It had not been seen since the Baptism of Fire qualifying game against Imperial Moose, in which he was attacked by a midfield in an unprovoked show of aggression.

By thirty minutes in, the Harakians seemed poised to dominate the game, even though they were booed at every turn by the home crowd. Thomas Neils, Haraki's star midfield, managed to intercept a pass from the Obsidianus defence to a midfield, and dodged past another midfield just before unleashing a long pass up to Harakian captain Mike Zendar, who turned towards the net and kicked a shot. It hit the back of the net dead centre just under the topbar, and Haraki had managed a one-goal lead. With their much-needed goal established, they seemed to relax a bit, although their game did not slow down at all. At the end of the first half, the Harakians withdrew with a triumphant feeling already dominating the game. Coach Lloyd Vargas made a few changes again, replacing the reserves with the original starters in most cases: Julie Vern and Allison Keyes were removed for Lawrence Foster and Luke Ford, although Nathan Rogers stayed on the field replacing Sandy Thorpe.

Ford got a yellow card in the fifty-first minute for a slide tackle that hit an opposing player in the shin instead of sweeping the ball away, and despite protesting the call, backed off. The opposing player seemed fine and continued on unobstructed.

The Hawks were slightly slower in the second half, partly because the aggressive, highly motivated Vern and Keyes were removed from the field, and without Vern's expert ball handling skills, the Obsidianan team managed more posession than they did in the first half, although still not enough. They got off five shots in the second half, and only two quality shots, all of which were stopped by Mark Stone, who was definitely back in the groove for the game. Although Haraki had several shots on goal, none scored, as they pulled their tried and true strategy of getting and then maintaining a lead.

Nathan Rogers got only a little bit of play time, even though he was still subbing in for Sandy Thorpe, and at the seventy-sixth minute Vargas called him off and sent Thorpe back on. Thorpe, who had suffered from the same downtime bug that bit Mark Stone, got only fourteen minutes of play, but it brought his confidence back up. Star player Jonah Menike stopped multiple attempts to score a desperate goal in the last ten minutes, and the time ran out with a 1-0 Harakian victory. The Hawks, beleaguered and tired but happy for their victory, got back on their bus to take them to the airport. Coach Lloyd Vargas, asked for a comment by HNN sports reporter Sam Sherman, replied with a brisk "I'll give you some comments back in Atherlon. Ha!"

The Hawks will be at home on Champion's Field next matchday playing Shing-Shang.

Haraki 1 - Obsidianus 0

Zendar (30)

ASMV Struggles Against Pudu....Hmmmmm


This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network

Today our Sea Dragons traveled to Emporer Pudu with hopes of taking an early 3 point lead in Group Eleven. But a draw saw that early lead reduced to just a single point. With 17th ranked Lovisa up next, we could have used the extra room in front. And we cant forget the Tigers of Tadjikistan that will soon be off and running to claim the group title.

Now for the match particulars. ASMV started off stong as the cross from Malachi james was headed into the left upper corner of the net by standout speedster Porche Alexander in the 11th minute. Then in the 24th minute, Pablo Iglesias showed his normal form on a brilliant bicycle kick that beat the Pudu keeper relatively easily. Score now 2-0 ASMV.

The halftime speech in the home locker room must have been a brilliant one. Emperor Pudu came out for the second half of the match at a blistering pace. The Sea Dragon offense was completely shut down as Pudu rushed back to even the score at 2 before the end. A late header from Evan Evans bounced of the crossbar, denying ASMV the opportunity to escape with the win.

"We just lost our focus in the second half." said captain Evan Evans. "They really threw us off when they kept calling out strange numbers for no apparent reason. Somebody said that the numbers were actually their names, but I find that really hard to believe."

Next up - a trip to Lovisa. As the 17th ranked side in the world they will be tough. We havent heard anything from them, so we really dont know what to expect. We just have to go in there and play our physical, hard-nosed style and hope for the best.

Mystical Unicorns Amazed At Early Success

Most Honorable and Glorious Queen Sonya

Today our Unicorns faced off against a nation called Tanah Burung. And after the improbable draw against Milchama on MD1, we actually were ready for reality to set in after this one. But I have more wondrous news for you, M'Lady. We beat Tanah Burung 3-2!!! I had little faith in this endeavor when you ordered me here to keep an eye on things, but I rather enjoying this WC27 thingy.

Merenwen Súrion (18), Morwen Inglorion (45), and Altáriël Telperië (74) all managed to kick the funny ball into the net. But our own Alassea Sáralondë allowed the other side to do the same thing twice. But in the end we did get the win.

You most humble servant,
Neodar

Queen Sonya sat there for a moment. How was it possible for a bunch of Elven girls who have litterally no experience to do so well thus far? She decided not to question it, but rather enjoy the moment while it lasted.

Now who was next? Oh yes. Qazox. Those wacky ones who worship the something Ox. Well, an Ox did do his business on the Palace doorstep this morning. Perhaps that is a good sign.

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:


http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gifBecquerelia - (0)_________(1) - Green wombat http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/greenwombat.gif


BECQUERELIA LOSES CLOSE ONE
Team starts qualifying round in a hole.


Green wombat (JNS) - Becquerelia desired this rematch. They probably wish they hadn't had it now.

Green wombat scored the only goal of the game in the fifty-sixth minute on a free kick by Winger Ensign Graves. Graves was awarded the free kick after Becquerelian team captain Christopher Fullbright struck Graves on the back of his head.

Said Fullbright on the incident: "It was a accident. I surely wasn't trying to hit him, but I accidentially did. And there's no way Graves was as hurt as he acted. He scored the goal shortly afterwards."

Fullbright was given a yellow card, and was showered with boos for the rest of the game. It got so bad, Head Coach Macarius Ransome pulled him in the 60th minute, replacing him with back-up defender Keyne Hawkins.

"Honestly, I was worried for his health. We were surrounded by a bunch of angry soldiers. I thought they were going to start tossing bottles at him or something. So we sent him to the lockers." Said a visibly exasperatedCoach Ransome after the game.

Continued Coach Ransome, "The whole thing stunk though. The penalty wasn't that bad."

The whole game seemed to go Green wombat's way, as they controlled the ball consistantly throughout. Becquerelia seemed to have trouble putting together a significant drive into the Green wombat side. And each time they did, it was easily snuffed up by Green wombat Goaltender Private 1st Class Johnson.

"Best we've seen him play. He did pretty well." remarked Assistant Coach Alexander Helmcamp afterwards.

He continuted, "But overall, teamwise, this is no way to start. No wins, no ties, all losses? We're dead last in our group now. We've dropped our last four games. I have no idea what's happened to us. Hopefully we'll get back on track when we go home and face Emporer Pudu. Hopefully."

Stars prove a point in win

HYPOCRIUM (ASP) -- Despite Coach Dave Wilson's best efforts to play down the confrontation between his Sarzonian national team and his previous team, the Hypocrian national side, players said they knew the match was "huge" for Wilson.

"He wanted to prove that he was still a vital coach," one player said on condition of anonymity. "He felt like the Hyppos organisation was a bit impatient with him, especially since he brought a AOCAF trophy to them."

Mission accomplished. Sarzonia raced out to a 3-0 lead just 25 minutes after the opening kickoff and the Hyppos could only muster an own goal and Sarzonia had a complete 3-1 win in the books that put the team in qualifying position after only one match. The fact the Stars have played one match while seven other teams have played two wasn't lost on Wilson.

"We don't much care for the bye system, but considering how well we played, we'll take the result," he said. "This is a brutal group, no doubt about it. Any time we can take advantage of that, we'll be glad to."

The Stars (1-0-0) rest in third place in Group 4 with a home match against Legalese. The last time those teams played each other, the Black and Red played Sarzonia to a 2-2 draw in AOCAF XII play. That was the only blemish on an otherwise perfect run to the championship under Dave Wilson's watch. The last time the teams played in World Cup competition, the Stars defeated host Legalese 3-0 in the opener of World Cup XXII finals play en route to Sarzonia's World Cup title.

"Every match in this group has the potential to be huge," forward Kenny Cooper (one goal) said. "We can't afford to rest on our laurels in this group, that's for sure." With matches against Krytenia and Lethislavania among the fixtures the Stars will be playing, the team said they can ill afford to rest players even in matches against low-ranked competition.

"We need to bury teams if we get that chance," midfielder Jenna Raven said. "We need to do that and do it fast."

SCORING
SARZONIA: K. Wilson 8, Raven 16, Cooper 25.
Hypocria: Own goal.

The seven men jogged down the street, one of them carrying his RPK over his shoulder, five of them hauling along their AK’s, and the last man carting a small satellite television between to hands red with sweat.

A building exploded behind them, everyone dove to the rubble-strewn city streets, laying still for a full minute before they leapt back up, the man in the back called forward,

“Hey Valek, how’s the TV!?”

The pudgy man in the lead called back while finishing scooping up the little television,

“Yeah, this is one of tha’ old ‘uns; they knew how to make ‘em back then!”

The armed man behind Valek tapped him on the back as he jogged by,

“We need to keep moving, hurry it up!”

There was a chorus of “Yes sir’s” as the rest of the little team picked themselves up and continued their run through the city ruins. Before to long they came to a small building, one surprisingly free of damage. Knocking on the door, the man in charge called in,

“Hey, open up, we got the TV!”

There was a rush from inside, the sound of a bolt sliding out of it’s sheathe, then the little door creaked in, revealing two men, one with a gun pointed out of the building the other ushering the television bearers inside.

Jogging in, Valek carefully dropped the little receiver on the only table in the room and began switching knobs and flipping switches.

“Hey, that old thing still working?” called one of the two men from the building,

Valek called back, “Yeah, I just can’t get it to the right channel in here, gimme a second!”

There was a second round of explosions outside, this time one of the bombs hit even closer to the rebel’s tiny stronghold, knocking Valek onto the floor, with the TV on top. At first there were looks of terror on the faces of the men gathered as they watched their only connection to the outside world fall, but these were slowly replaced by looks of absolute joy as they heard the voice of an announcer…

“There’s Baidik, he’s moving up the field, pass to Vasilisk, long cross to Danikta! He’s going at their goal and…OH!”

The second announcer came in, “Looks like Mitrin Vegas got it back, Unami Banta-N'bai got it, long kick to Kristov Kirelenko, short pass right through Vakhfis to Pablo Iglesias, he’s going at the goal, Kaibula looks worried, looks like a third goal for Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, and he…”

There was a third series of explosions, these nearly on top of the compound, knocking the little TV off the back of the little table, knocking it into the off position and summoning a deafening series of groans, curses, and threats from the engrossed spectators. Valek leapt from his seat, almost flying to the little television’s side.

“She’s OK, just need to get it all tuned again…”

A second series of groans erupted, followed shortly by a few more explosions and the sound a jet makes when its moving at mach 2.5 about eleven hundred feet above you.

Just as the jet passed over the television was back on, quickly switching back to the foreign news channel, Vadek began offering his own curses to the ‘Damn Compounders, screwing with our TV!’

The announcers voice was heard again, and again the room erupted with cheers before silencing almost immediately as the flickery black and white image came back into focus,

”GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAL!!”

The entire stadium, which was from here only about twenty five miles, was exploding with energy, and a few quick panning shots revealed before the inevitable replay.

When it came the replay displayed the Pudite forward Danikta sprinting at top speed at a bouncing ball in a large open spot along the left side out front of the Andossa Se Mitrin Vega goal. An enemy defender was sprinting at it too, but the Pudite player was just that little bit faster, and closed on it, giving it a little tap forward out of the path of the defender before delivering a mighty kick, sending the ball into the top right corner of the goal, where the crowd again erupted in cheers, the scoreboard above now reading The Dominion: 2, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega: 2.

At that very second a large caliber round destroyed the television set, sending pieces flying across the room, and bringing out the fourth eruption of shouting and curses in the last four minutes. In seconds the building was leveled, the bombs having finally hit their mark, sending pieces of the former spectators and their shelter flying through the air over the surrounding couple blocks.

OOC: You kind of have to understand a few things about my nation to understand why this post makes any sense; first, fully 23% of my population are in open rebellion, and have been for the past decade or two. The government does little about it, save almost constant bombings of their Old City strongholds, referring to their fortresses in the ruins of the ancient cities, from before the standardification process.

Now, the normal population lives in massive, single-structure concrete compounds surrounded by thick concrete walls, all heavily guarded. The lightly armed rebels cannot do any real harm, as none of the citizens really know anything about them. The citizens sleep for twelve hours a day in their underground stasis pods, where they are fed and revitalized by nutrient injections. They awaken for two separate six-hour work periods, and have absolutely no free will, they are all clones, created in the labs below the work floors of the compounds and are grown until working age in the laboratories themselves.

The rebels are a group that didn't appreciate this idea when it was first installed, and were not able to be rounded up anyway, now, with the walled compounds inside, the heavily forested terrain outside, and the massively fortified wall structures surrounding the nation, its just cheaper to keep them there and use them for target practice every now and again. Occasionally we deploy a company-sized formation or two to lower the population, but they never come back, nor are they expected too. This is where the rebels get their weapons and ammunition, although we make sure the soldiers sent out on these 'Fire Patrols' are armed with out-dated and badly-functioning weapons.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"So... Fr. John... the big boys' campaigns are underway, and in our group the number one seed's first match was away to our good selves"

"Indeed, Fr. Nicholas... we were facing the karelan or takelan (I can never tell the difference myself) heathens of Rejistania, whose vile blood sacrifices of virgins to their dread karelan (or takelan) gods are a source of constant dismay to all good Orthodox Christians. Or so I'm told, anyway... I have to admit that despite all the rumours, I'm not too clear on the specifics of Rejistanian heathen rituals. But they must involve some sort of virgin sacrifice - heathen rituals usually do."

"I can sympathise, Fr. John - my recent article in the Monastic Times put my other employers in a spot of bother recently... Karelan, takelan... who can tell the difference? Anyway, what about the match itself?"

"Well, we had any amount of controversy before the match was even underway, with Fr. Michael the New Hermit only changing his mind over playing during Great Lent at the last minute, and then 'only because Rejistanians burn teenage virgins at the stake - I can't let that sort of thing pass by uncontested'.

Then there was the discovery that Rejistania had a woman on their team - our squad could only assume that Jenji Karu was a latter-day whore of Babylon since she'd neither been sacrificed nor burnt at the stake, which surely would have been her fate at the hands of her heathen teammates had her virtue still been intact.

In any case, the Orange-Blues had clearly learned a lesson from their 3-1 defeat to the Archregimancy in WC 25 qualifying, and seemed to cope with the pre-match liturgy far better than on their previous visit to the Dreamed Stadium.

As a result, much of the match was dominated by the typically tedious Rejistanian combination of dominating possession while refusing to attack. We had to get through 66 minutes of Rejistania practically sitting on the ball - surely a feat of endurance equal to any of the more usual Lenten acts of monastic self-denial.

But in the 66th minute, breakthrough. Fr. Andrew the Twice-Found forced a corner, Fr. Michael the Lesser sent it in, and the usual goal area chaos resulted when man-mountain Fr. Michael the Greater towered above the packed Rejistanian defence. In the resulting confusion, Fr. Dmitri the Humble toe-poked the ball over the line for a rare goal for the silent central defender.

At that point, the Orange-Blues were faced with the bare fact that failure to attack would mean defeat. I understand correctly, such a thought is to them a heresy almost as great as the Catholic insistance on the double procession of the Holy Spirit.

But much as it pains me to admit it, the heathens aren't the 8th-ranked team in the world for nothing, and they're quite capable of attacking efficiently when they need to. Despite the lad's best attempts to shut the match down, in the 86th minute Hinije~n I Teresil won a free-kick on the edge of the area, and sent the resulting shot past a despairing Fr. Justinian. A fine free-kick, even for a heathen. And the match ended 1-1"

"Thank you, Fr. John - but surely a 1-1 draw against Rejistania is a moral victory?"

"Absolutely, Fr. Nicholas. No cause for complaint here. That was an extremely encouraging result."

"What about other group news?"

"Well, it's early days yet, though eye-brows will have been raised both by Rordia's early rise to the top of the table and New Preussen's easy victory over Bazalonia."

"Speaking of Bazalonia, Fr. John, what about this Peter Hobble situation?"

"Well, Fr. Nicholas, word has it that the Monastic Football Association plan on banning Hobble from entering the Archregimancy if rumours about his werewolf status are confirmed. As you know, under Archregimancy canon law, werewolves and similar occult creatures are illegal, and entry permits are typically denied to confirmed lycanthropes - so we'll all be watching this situation closely..."

Press Release --

EG Inc.

The following scores are NOT World Cup scores. I repeat these scores have NOTHING to do with the world cup. These Scores are the scores made by teams in the Soccer World Online Cup a virtual tournament utilising the successful Soccer World MMORPG.

No onto SWOC MD2 scores.

Group 1

Druida 1-2 Jerusalem
Kirstiriera 2-2 Cuation
CR Oscilloscopes 2-3 Collonie
Atheistic Right 1-1 An Archy


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 An Archy 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
2 New Montreal States 1 1 0 0 5 1 4 3
3 Jerusalem 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 Druida 2 1 0 1 5 5 0 3
5 Collonie 2 1 0 1 4 4 0 3
6 Cuation 2 0 2 0 3 3 0 2
7 Atheistic Right 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 2
8 Kirstiriera 2 0 1 1 3 7 -4 1
9 CR Oscilloscopes 2 0 0 2 5 7 -2 0


Group 2

The Kazoo Peoples 0-5 Total n Utter Insanity
The New Chakovnia 0-1 Nanakaland
Algal states 1-0 The Weegies
Risa-Aramour 0-1 Tynelia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tynelia 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
2 Nanakaland 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
3 Algal states 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
4 Total n Utter Insanity 1 1 0 0 5 0 5 3
5 Bettia 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
6 The Kazoo Peoples 2 0 1 1 2 7 -5 1
7 The Weegies 2 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0
8 Risa-Aramour 2 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0
9 The New Chakovnia 2 0 0 2 0 5 -5 0


Group 3

Milchama 3-7 Eauz
Valertinette 1-0 Elrich
Dorian and Sonya 2-4 Tanah Burung
Qazox 0-1 Hiiraan


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Hiiraan 2 2 0 0 3 1 2 6
2 Vilita 1 1 0 0 5 0 5 3
3 Eauz 1 1 0 0 7 3 4 3
4 Tanah Burung 2 1 0 1 5 4 1 3
5 Milchama 2 1 0 1 7 7 0 3
6 Valertinette 2 1 0 1 1 5 -4 3
7 Qazox 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
8 Elrich 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
9 Dorian and Sonya 2 0 0 2 2 8 -6 0


Group 4

Hypocria 1-4 Sarzonia
Revived Constantinople 1-2 Lethislavania
Rorysville 1-3 Legalese
Vuam and Isma 1-1 Palacetonia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Lethislavania 2 2 0 0 3 1 2 6
2 Legalese 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 4
3 Krytenia 1 1 0 0 6 0 6 3
4 Sarzonia 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 3
5 Hypocria 2 1 0 1 4 5 -1 3
6 Palacetonia 2 0 2 0 3 3 0 2
7 Vuam and Isma 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
8 Rorysville 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0
9 Revived Constantinople 2 0 0 2 1 8 -7 0


Group 5

Cataduanes 2-2 Crystilakere
UN Peacekeepers 1-2 Tonissia
Nebuleux 2-0 Anathematic Republics
The Solar Association 0-2 Dance 2 Revolution


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Cataduanes 2 1 1 0 6 2 4 4
2 Tonissia 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
3 Spruitland 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 Dance 2 Revolution 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
5 Anathematic Republics 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
6 Nebuleux 2 1 0 1 2 4 -2 3
7 Crystilakere 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
8 The Solar Association 2 0 1 1 1 3 -2 1
9 UN Peacekeepers 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0


Group 6

The Archregimancy 0-1 Rejistania
The Footie Dream Team 2-4 Rordia
Popolus 2-2 Swilatia
New Preussen 3-1 Bazalonia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Rordia 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 4
2 Popolus 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 4
3 New Preussen 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 4
4 Praying2God 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
5 Rejistania 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
6 Bazalonia 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 3
7 Swilatia 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
8 The Archregimancy 2 0 0 2 1 4 -3 0
9 The Footie Dream Team 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0


Group 7

The Lowland Clans 1-2 Liverpool England
The Belmore Family 0-0 Yafor 2
TheSuncoastofFlorida 1-4 Rolatia
Mr Chuck Norris 3-2 Allied Anime Worlds


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Mr Chuck Norris 2 2 0 0 5 3 2 6
2 Rolatia 2 1 0 1 4 2 2 3
3 Liverpool England 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
4 Turori 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
5 Allied Anime Worlds 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
6 TheSuncoastofFlorida 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
7 Yafor 2 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
8 The Belmore Family 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1
9 The Lowland Clans 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0


Group 8

Wentland 4-5 Starblaydia
Shing-Shang 1-0 Spaam
Priggdom 2-1 East Lithuania
Obsidianus 1-1 Haraki


1 Priggdom 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
2 Shing-Shang 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
3 Starblaydia 1 1 0 0 5 4 1 3
4 Spaam 2 1 0 1 4 3 1 3
5 Haraki 2 0 2 0 1 1 0 2
6 Oliverry 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
7 East Lithuania 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
8 Obsidianus 2 0 1 1 3 5 -2 1
9 Wentland 2 0 0 2 5 7 -2 0


Group 9

Nedalia 0-3 Audioslavia
Ocmeoub 4-1 Chicanada
Berner Street 1-3 Ariddia
Pedriana 2-3 Kelse


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Ariddia 2 2 0 0 5 1 4 6
2 Ocmeoub 2 1 1 0 5 2 3 4
3 Audioslavia 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
4 Kelse 2 1 0 1 3 4 -1 3
5 Commerce Heights 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
6 Pedriana 2 0 1 1 4 5 -1 1
7 Berner Street 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
8 Chicanada 2 0 1 1 3 6 -3 1
9 Nedalia 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 1


Group 10

Kaze Progressa 2-3 Hockey Canada
Magnus Valerius 1-1 Harlesburg
Crna Gora Liv Eng 1-1 Majeristan
Imperial Moose 2-0 McPsychoville


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Harlesburg 2 1 1 0 4 3 1 4
2 Casari 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
3 Imperial Moose 2 1 0 1 4 3 1 3
4 Hockey Canada 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
5 Majeristan 2 0 2 0 4 4 0 2
6 Crna Gora Liv Eng 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 2
7 Kaze Progressa 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1
8 McPsychoville 2 0 1 1 3 5 -2 1
9 Magnus Valerius 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 1


Group 11

Giant Zucchini 2-1 Tadjikistan
Emporer Pudu 1-5 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Georgeonia 1-0 Pastorvillle
Green wombat 3-2 Becquerelia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Giant Zucchini 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
2 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 2 1 1 0 7 3 4 4
3 Green wombat 2 1 1 0 5 4 1 4
4 Lovisa 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
5 Georgeonia 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
6 Becquerelia 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1
7 Pastorvillle 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
8 Tadjikistan 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
9 Emporer Pudu 2 0 0 2 1 7 -6 0


Group 12

The Islands of Qutar 2-2 Squornshelous
San Adriano 0-1 Kericia
Spaamanian Plijous 0-0 The Macabees
Jon Parkin 3-3 Apologetic Kittens


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kericia 2 2 0 0 2 0 2 6
2 The Islands of Qutar 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 4
3 The Macabees 2 1 1 0 3 1 2 4
4 Schiavonia 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 3
5 Squornshelous 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
6 Jon Parkin 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1
7 Apologetic Kittens 2 0 1 1 4 6 -2 1
8 Spaamanian Plijous 2 0 1 1 0 2 -2 1
9 San Adriano 2 0 0 2 1 5 -4 0


Disclaimer: This Press release has nothing to do with the WCC

"Hobble Hattrick" by Nev Gould

Peter Hobble had scored a hattrick. The only probelm was that it was for Elrich on Matchday 1. There has apparently been some problems with the communications of that match. Take into account the Starblaydian WCC president's comments, who knows what action the WCC might take against the Elrichians. I personally am waiting to see how the WCC handles this before commenting any further.

.........

"Repeat of last World Cup?" by Nev Gould

Bazalonia is once again languashing near the bottom of the Table. Loosing to a virtually unknown team. Is this going to be a repeat of last world cup where a loss to an unknown team left the Bazalopes at the Bottom of the Table? Here is what Caine Hawdon had to say on the matter. "We are only 2 matches into the tournament we have 14 matches left.. alot can happen in that time. Do not discount the Bazalopes yet." This reporter is not quite sure. With the controversial Soccer World Online Cup scores revealing a bigger loss. 3-1 to the new Preussen's instead of the 2-1 loss in the real world cup. Is the lack of Peter hobble, who is still missing from the team affected the morale of the team. The Team needs a new hero if they are going to pick themselves up off the floor and get right back in there. We don't know what is going to happen in the future. The team might find a hero within, or might stumble over itself. Only time will tell. And I for one hopes that a hero within the team can be found.

....Continued from a previous post

Lion's plan was in action. He had some 'friends' of his knock up a suitable resume,fake sites & references from non-existant companies that would be verified by other friends of queries where to be made.

Why did he do this? So he could gain inside information and tweak the results in any favour he so chooses. Of course he could not use his ARFA name. But he used "Lino" as his online moniker.

He had received the following email from EG Inc.

"Dear Lino,

Thank you for your application for the Customer Service Representative Position. You have been successful in your application. Following details about how to auntehnticate yourself and prove your identity to the Soccer World Administration System will be forwarded later in a encrypted message. Please forward use a copy of your public key. Thank you.

Yours Sincerly, Dorothy Gambit
Human Resources Manager
"

What plans does lion have for EG Inc and Soccer World. Tune in later...

...........................

<the ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around" logo and theme music appear on the Television screen>

The standard darkened studio with two figures gets light and start their usual dialogue

"Welcome to ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around. I'm Charles." - Charles

"And I am Darwin. Welcome to the Sports report for Matchday number 2 of the World Cup."

"Not much to report in this episode, Darwin. The result ended up being nill all." - Charles

"IS that all... wow, So what about Soccer World Online Cup. It has seemed to created a controversy in alot of other nations." - Darwin

"You mean less evolved nations? of course how anyone could have confused the Soccer World Online Cup for the real scores. I don't see a WCC emblem on it anywhere at all. And to the score. Well at least there was some action in that. The team scored 1-1 in that however noi real difference between that and our real match" - Charles

"So bath matches ended up in a stalemate then?" - Darwin

"Pretty much but Jackal did receive a yellow card of alleged 'unsportsman-like' behaviour. That was in the 36th minute. He did injure someone though, unfortunately it was himself and he will have the next 2 matches out while he recovers." - Charles

"So it was not a bad injury then." - Darwin

" No not bad at all just needs to rest his ankle a bit. That is all from us in ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around. I'm Charles" -Charles

"And I'm Darwin, don't forget to watch us texttime on ARFA Sports- Your Strongest Sports News Around. See you then."- Darwin

Mariners Win By 3!
Pedriana - The second match is over, and after a little over ninety minutes of play the Kelsian National Football Team has come on top with it's first win in World Cup football, beating Pedriana 3-0. After the display of both nations' anthem amidst a crowd of less than about 10,000, the game began and Kelse took a domineering lead. By the 25th minute, the Mariners had 14 shots on goal, while the Pedrianese players struggled with 0 shots. At the 27th minute, forward Carlos Santena shot an assist from mid-fielder Alejo San Marca into the left corner of the next, suprising the tired Pedrianese goal keeper who just watched as the ball sped by. At the 41st minute, a breakaway from mid-fielder Seato Enzo led him to get to the goal box and shoot one from a little out, barely getting it in to the goal box.

At the second half, the score stood 2-0. The Mariners continued there dominance over the Pedriana squad and it payed off, with Julio Espinoza edging one into the back of the net with his 6th career goal. At approximately 91 minutes, the game was over, and Kelse had won 3-0. The win brought them to the near top of Group 9 at 2nd place, right behind Chicanada. Coach Centino said in the post-game press conference, "Were at a good place, and I hope we stay here. We should for a while, the game against Ocmeub tomorrow should be ours." Coach Centino should be right, as odds are the Kelsians, with 4 goals scored, should beat the Ocmeubians, with 4 goals against them and none scored.

Around the group, scores were pretty predictable with Chicanada beating Ocmeub 1-0, Ariddia defeating Berner Street 2-1, and Audioslavia coming out ontop against Nedalia 2-1. Tomorrow's schedule will go like this, with the predicted scores next to them.

Arridia @ Audioslavia (1-2)
Commerce Heights @ Chicanada (1-0)
Ocmeub @ Kelse (2-0)
Berner Street @ Pedriana (0-1)

Kelse will play its third WC 27 qualifying match against Ocmeub later today, which will be broadcasted live across the country on Athletica De Lux, channel 15 in the greater Saint-Monica area. Elsewhere, please check your local listings. Tickets for the game are still being sold at the following locations for M62.

Montrez-Maître - Marina Place + Est Métro Central + Brunswick Place
Caisse De Lux - Marina Place + Mail International

Tonight for now, and Go Mariners!

Valerian Broadcasting Corporation Brings You: Nightly News & Sports
The Past Two Days in Review: Pain and Surprise For Magnus Valerius

With Your Host, Ivan Vasilevsky

"Good evening, Magnus Valerius. The Boyars have gotten off to a rough start indeed in their first matchday with Casari. In that particular game, our team was absolutely butchered. I'm not sure what Coach Pavlov was thinking down there, but when Casari's Roe scored an early goal on the 14th minute, we knew that it was going to be rough for the team. Casari's Seinz later scored an additional goal just three minutes afterwards, taking advantage of a bewildered Sibel, who was not doing at his best today."

(The screen replays goalkeeper Gustav Sibel (#12) trying unsuccessfully to block the incoming goals from Roe and Seinz).

"De Mazovy (#10) was sent in to sub for Sibel, where he did mildly better. However, Magnus Valerius failed to break through the defense of Casari, and eventually Casari put enough pressure on the team that they got in another point at the 78th minute by Jared Livingston. This humiliating defeat of 3-0 may have started a bad streak for Magnus Valerius, but then again, we are a new team going against a mighty veteran. And, even for a new team, we still can put up a fight. And now, a commercial break."

(The screen fades into a sunny neighborhood. Centered in the screen is a two-story house with a bright green lawn, a couple of oak trees, and hedges.)

(A squirrel rummages through a garden at the side of the house).

"Oh No! Pesky squirrels munching on your garden vegetables? Making a mess of your lawn? Making your stupid neighbor's dog bark? Well, fear no more. Here at Valeririjk Lawn & Garden, we care for you and your family home. That's why we imported a special straight from Magnus Valerius's colony in Shorehaven. Introducing: The Venus Squirrel Trap!"

(The commercial shows a squirrel being snapped up into a rather large trap plant. It struggles for a brief moment before dying.)

"It's easy! Just plant a few in your garden. Those squirrels will soon become much-needed nutrients for our green friends. These traps also are beautiful among your prized roses and they give off a pleasant, nutty odor. Order some today before the government regulates the plant!"

Warning: This plant is indiscriminate and unsafe! Keep away from birds, curious cats, and small children. In such cases, serious injury or death may occur.

(The commerical fades back into the main program.)

"Welcome back. I am Ivan Vasilevsky. Tonight's topic is the World Cup. And, today was a marvelous sight at the Seaside Dome in Alexandria. Built on an artificially-made island, the large stadium sits on the southern edge of the city and near all of its pristine but crowded beaches. Alexandria itself is an ancient and beautiful city... but, I digress. Today was a moment of surprise. As Casari proved to us yesterday, we have an inexperienced team going in for the World Cup, but we can still hold our ground. Today at our match versus Harlesburg, we managed to bring the country to a draw. Although not the greatest team in the book, Harlesburg is still formidable at Rank 52. It looked rather hopeless in the beginning, when Harlesburg came on aggressively on the national team, but Gustav Sibel, after the previous day of humilation versus Casari, stood his ground and prevented any goals."

"The game ended in a tie when, George Illyanich, Jersey #1, The Star of The Boyars, made a terrific goal attempt at the 52nd minute. However, Harlesburg managed to keep it from going in, and the game was still a NIL ALL fight. Valerian pressure kept the scores at 0-0 for the rest of the game. Although we are currently second to last on the charts, there is always room for a rebound."

Matchday 2:

Goals:

Harlesburg: Nil

Magnus Valerius: Nil

Group 10 Scores

Kaze Progressa 0-1 Hockey Canada
Magnus Valerius 0-0 Harlesburg
Crna Gora Liv Eng 1-4 Majeristan
Imperial Moose 1-3 McPsychoville


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Majeristan 2 2 0 0 5 1 4 6
2 Casari 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
3 Kaze Progressa 2 1 0 1 3 1 2 3
4 McPsychoville 2 1 0 1 3 2 1 3
5 Hockey Canada 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
6 Imperial Moose 2 1 0 1 3 4 -1 3
7 Harlesburg 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
8 Magnus Valerius 2 0 1 1 0 3 -3 1
9 Crna Gora Liv Eng 2 0 0 2 1 7 -6 0


"We will be back tomorrow to give you the scores for matchday 3. I am Ivan Vasilevsky. Goodnight. Now, we shall return to The News in The Empire..."

Yet Another Own Goal!
Episode 2: The Tadjikistan Show

Well…guess what…it’s Mr. Green Couch Man’s empty couch!

“…and that’s a brilliant pullback by Poulsen the goalscorer, it reaches Rilke, can he finish? Oh, it’s a brilliant curling one here and it’s SAVED by Gurchev, possibly the save of the game, and Chekhov quickly takes the corner and it’s safely into the hands of Gurchev and it’s over here, it’s too little too late for the Zucchinis after their first half collapse, Poulsen pulled one back early in the second half but it was not enough for the Zucchinis who must recover from this setback quickly…”


To be continued…


Giant Zucchini’s Department of Number Crunching and Data Spewing presents:

Match stats:

Giant Zucchini – 1
Poulsen (47)

Tadjikistan – 3
Tulberdiev (15, 22), Zyrianov (26)


Giant Zucchini stats:

Top Goalscorers:
Armand Boyer – 2
Dino Nuvolari – 1
Gottlieb Poulsen – 1

Yellow Cards:

Red Cards:

GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS
Owning Becquerelia since 2006....

The Hexagon is rocking tonight with the win over Becquerelia 1-0 earlier. This is the 2nd time within a sjort span that we've beaten them. Ensign Graves scored the only goal off a supposed dive in the 56th minute after Becquerelia's Christopher Fullbright slapped him up side da head. On the ensuing free kick, Graves scored and the sound of the artillery sounding off must have frightened of any Becquerelian attacks as they were timid in trying to even the match up.

Becquerelia's Christopher Fullbright had this to say about his Yellow Card in the 56th minute:""It was a accident. I surely wasn't trying to hit him, but I accidentially did. And there's no way Graves was as hurt as he acted. He scored the goal shortly afterwards."

Green Wombat is now in a 6 way tie for 2nd place, but since only 2 matches have been played it is too early to celebrate. Tommorrow's match vs. Georgeonia will have a 5pm local time kickoff as to ensure that the sun will be behind Green Wombat in the 1st half, therefore blinding our opponnets.

QAZOX CITY HERALD
IN MEMORIAM: OXEN XXVII MIKA RIYOK 1932-2011

Qazox was upset twice today, 1st as the Holy Ox Oxen XXVII, Mika Riyok was found dead this morning in his room at St. Joseph's Cathedral in Qazox City. The immidiate cause of death is not known, but sources within St. Joseph's say that the Holy Ox died in his sleep. Mika Riok was elected in 1999 on the death of his predescessor Oxen XXVI Alvin Laurence, at the age of 67. His death at the age of 79 means that a new Holy Ox must be elected within 20 days, which will be March 25th, 2011. (OOC- its 2011 in Qazox) The early favorites for the new Holy Oxen is Henri Livitas-ArchBishop of Lorax City and Tyler Polisa-ArchBishop of SaxerVilla. President Villia Ortiz Hernandez has ordered all flags to be at half-mast for 40 days and declared the Week of March 6-12th, 2011 to a week of mourning. Mika Riyok will be laid to rest in the Capitol, the 6th Holy Ox to do so and the first since Miguel Mewborn, The XXIIIrd Holy Oxen in 1971.

The other reason Qazox was upset today was that the Black Oxen lost to Hiiraan 0-1 today. Understandibly, the Black Oxen did not have their heads in the game and early on it proved fatal as Hiiran forward #4 scored a goal in the 14th minute and the Hiiran team kept Qazox out of the goal. Qazox was without its captain Manuel Aguirre, was sat out today's match due to a red card in the previous match. The crowd was sparce as only 17,000 showed up at Fromburg Field in Fromburg, with about 7,000 of the attendees being from Hiiraan.

Results So Far for Qazox:

Match Day One--@ Elrich (Lost 0-3)
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran (Lost 0-1) Attendance:17,000
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya at Estadia Pika, Pika City: Capacity 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Seven--BYE
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.

Match Day 2 Results and Standings:

GROUP 3
Milchama 0-5 Eauz
Valertinette 0-1 Elrich
Dorian and Sonya 3-2 Tanah Burung
Qazox 0-1 Hiiraan


Group 3 Standings
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Elrich 2 2 0 0 4 0 4 6
2 Dorian and Sonya 2 1 1 0 4 3 1 4
3 Eauz 1 1 0 0 5 0 5 3
4 Vilita 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
5 Tanah Burung 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
6 Hiiraan 2 1 0 1 1 1 0 3
7 Milchama 2 0 1 1 1 6 -5 1
8 Valertinette 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
9 Qazox 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0

Our next game vs. Dorian and Sonya is a must win as a loss would leave Qazox 0-0-3 with the toughest part of the schedule coming up, Hopefully, the shock of the Holy Ox's death will be lessened and his guiding spirit will grant us victory. "May the Holy Ox bless you and Poop on Your Porch".

Kyle Cartman, MIB-12 Agent 0007, put down the latest edition of the Qazox City Herald and turned to his partner on this mission: Regina Holden aka Agent 362836.

KC: Damn, the Holy Ox is dead, and our search of Elrich turned up nothing to suggest that they have any ideas of taking over the Continuum.

RH: Well, at least it wasn't a total loss as we saw Maximillion Rich aka GoldTooth on the plane ride back and arrested him.

KC: Hmmm, it says that they aren't going to give the Holy Ox an autopsy as the Qazoxian Forensics Lab says there's no need to perform one. I always thought that in cases of death among political leaders or members of the Clergy, that it was mandatory. I wonder if they are trying to coverup someth...

Cartman fell to the floor as a sleep-dart was shot into his neck.

RH: Sorry Mr. Cartman, but you'll never find out. I'm sorry that I have to do this, but somebody has my son, and if I don't do what he says, my son will die.

Agent 382638 then opened up her com-unit and dialed a number and after a moment a masked-face appered on the screen.

Unkown Man: Report Agent 382638.

A382638: Sir, Cartman is asleep here in the hotel room. So, will you release my son?

UM: Not yet, I need the Master Codes for the MIB-12 computers, and as Agent 382638, you can get them. Get those codes and then I'll consider releasing your son.

A38638: Ok, but won't it be unusual for a secretary to be in that section of MIB-12?

UM: Leave that to me. Don't contact me again until you get those codes.

Agent 382638 turned off her com-unit and dialed another number waiting while as the Unknown Man's troopers came in and took Kyle Cartman's sleeping body away. She waited until they left before talking.

A382638: Sir, tommorrow I'll have the Control Codes for the MIB-12 computer, just as you planned. Any ideas yet as to who our Mystery man is yet Sir?

Generalissimo Uarez: Not yet, Lt. Latias, not yet. Its' a shame that you didn't kill 0007, but your need to Mr. X. is proving even more useful. I'm glad that Mr Cartman thinks both of us dead, even though he only killed 2 clones. Gawd I love cloning. Lt. Latias, as soon as you find out who Mr X. is contact me ASAP and transmit a copy of those codes here, as they may be useful in the Future.

A382638/Lt. Latias/Regina Holden: Yes sir. what ever you plan is sir those freaking Ox-lovers will pay for killing your son, my Husband, Keith Cartman.

As the players lined up in the tunnel, captain Gus Jenkins turned to Menecrates for a quick word over the background noise. "Full house tonight, mate. Looking forward to it?" "Ehh..." the Starblaydi captain replied in a heavy accent, "wait unteel you come to Veectoreea Park."

The noise rolled down like thunder as the teams emerged. It continued throughout most of the game despite the chaos that ensued on the pitch.

It started so well for Wentland. A couple of quick corners and Mathias had to make good saves from Hopkins and Treves. Raphaela and Tolkacheva were not making much headway against the giant pairing of Wright and Jenkins. And Weston was holding his own against Menecrates and Blanc.

It began to go wrong in the 15th minute. An innocuous ball into the box from Chavez should have been easy to deal with. But Dorrington left it for Wright, Wright left it for Derrington, and Raphaelo left it for no-one as he guided the ball inside the far post. For a moment The Garrison fell silent, only to rebound louder than ever.

Inspired by their crowd's faith, Wentland pressed forward again and created more pressure. A foul by Ibanez saw him receive a stern talking-to from referee Swole and the resulting swerving free-kick from Kent nearly caught Mathias napping and he had to push it over.

The remainder of the half was pretty much a dour midfield battle with Wright getting involved from time to time in more ways than one. Weston saw yellow for a petulant shirt-pull, Blanc likewise for a tackel in retaliation.

However, right on the stroke of half-time, the Swifts gained the equalizer. Another midfield foul from Blanc saw Capper quickly rise and almost with one movement play a through ball between Oberlander and Kouvas. Treves was haring onto it and as Mathias came out he managed to get a toe to it. Mathias parried it to one side but Treves stayed on his feet and side-footed it into the empty net. 1-1 at a psychological time.

It therefore looked good for the second half. Unfortunately it went to pieces within seconds of the kick-off. If anyone was going to put money on anyone being sent off Blake Wright would have been the bookies' favourite, followed by Ibanez and Hopkins. Nobody would have put their money on mild-mannered Alec Harris. Yet it was the Downton left-back who saw red after Noble trod on his achilles. Harris turned around, grabbed Noble's shirt at the front and pulled Noble towards him. Referee Swole ran in to break it up as the pair was surrounded by both sets of players, booked the Starblaydi winger to loud approval, and then sent off Harris to loud dis-approval. It looked an exceedingly harsh decision, by the letter of the law however it was correct.

Bluff immediately made a change, bringing Don Fletcher on at left-back and sacrificing Hopkins to the crowd's evident disgust. Quod habemus, tenemus? Alas, it all went to pieces within seconds, as a couple of minutes later Noble tormented Fletcher six ways since Tuesday and picked out Raphaelo with an inch-perfect cross. The Iskara Daii striker made no mistake with his second headed goal of the match. Two-one, still 43 minutes to go and Wentland down to 10 men.

And within another five minutes it was three. Dorrington punched a Chavez cross clear under heavy pressure from a hat-trick seeking Raphaelo, only for Menecrates to side-foot the ball back over his prostrate body and just under the bar.

Bluff made another change in an attempt to get a goal back. The tiring James was brought off for Barnes to make it 2 up front again and the young Crowhurst svengali immediately made an impact. Alas it was against the post with his head in a brave attempt to steer a Kent cross home and the substitute was immediately substituted. That narrowed the options and a limping Weston was effectively a passenger for the last 20 minutes.

Azanulbizarn seemed to take pity on the Swifts, as he brought off his strike pairing to give Vega and Von Erich a run-out, and Durum Rage on in place of Menecrates. However, the new players did not show much pity and it was a Rage through-ball near the end that made it 4-1 as Vega swerved an excellent shot past Derrington.

***

"Oh dear," said Bluff as the battered Swifts returned to the dressing room. "Never mind, we've got the next matchday off, give you some time to recover.

"And the other results give us some comfort..."

Shing-Shang 1-1 Spaam
Priggdom 3-3 East Lithuania
Obsidianus 0-1 Haraki

"With Spaam and East Lithuania both dropping two points we have the chance to capitalize. I think we'd've marked those down as away wins. Still early doors..."

Court to seek Ford's extradition
In the case that has everyone in Liverpool England riveted to their TV screens, Schiavone Football Federation President Michael Ford has finally been arrested in Schiavonia after a break-in at the royal residence. A Liverpool England court is expected to ask Schiavone police to extradite Ford - something that was rejected three months ago - to face two suits, one for defamation and another for harassment.

Liverpool England Federal Police chief Tammy Mesa, the first ever woman to hold the post, has already ruled out the possibility of the Federal Police requesting an extradition. "The court is free to ask that Mr. Ford be extradited to face the suits. The Federal Police stand is that Mr. Ford has never committed any crime in Liverpool England, and thus is not liable for any punishment. We do not, and will not, seek extradition for Mr. Ford unless evidence of him committing a crime on Liverpool England, or Lox Land Island, or Crna Gora Liv Eng soil appears," an official statement read.

Meanwhile, in other news, the Terminators beat The Lowland Clans 3-1 away with Luis Sunderland and Eric Harley scoring.

GRAHAM CITY SUN - SPORTS SECTION
Liverpool England - 3__http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/micronesia--57.jpg______http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_lowland_clans.jpg__1 - The Lowland Clans

MADEIRA, PORTUGAL - The Allied States Stars were defeated by the Terminators from Liverpool England today on The Island, a stadium of 80,000 located in the tropical island retreat of Madeira. The Stars played remarkably well against the second-best team in the world, but were quite simply not good enough. The game opened with the Terminators controlling the play, and it stayed that way for much of the game. With only 38 percent ball possession, the Stars couldn't get much going. When they had the ball however, they played well, keeping pressure on the Liverpoolian defenders for much of that time.

The Terminators opened with a concerted attack which yielded results almost immidiately. Luis Sunderland powered home a monster shot from about twenty yards out, curling it around the outstretched hands of keeper Heath Porter in the fifth minute. The Terminators controlled the ball again after the goal, taking it from Quentin Mackallen as if it was so much candy from a baby. Justin Osbourne played an excellent game and whose tireless efforts contributed to the Terminators control of the ball. They attack once again, with two near misses Arthur Hairston and Christopher Weatherly. Heath Porter made a brilliant save on a wild play off a Nicholas Thompson corner, in which the Terminators put it off the post and crossbar twice.

The Stars gained control of the ball at about the twenty minute mark, and were able to control for about ten stong minutes of attack. Nicolae Foma scored the goal in the twenty-seventh minute after a beautiful long ball from Phillip Konstantinoppolis and rushed past the flat-footed Terminator defenders and chipped it past Adam Carrero to tie the game up. Ryley Bloudin had a chance to put the Stars up in front in the thirty-first minute on a counter attack, but was brought down expertly by Jeff Lacey. Bloudin's reaction to the call was horrendous, and he went off on a tirade against Lacey, which earned him a card and a place on the bench as Stjepan brought on Aonghus Darrel to take his place.

"I was wrong to react like that, and after I saw the replay, I realized that it was a good tackle. I have no excuse for my reaction and I apologize for disrespecting the referee on that play," he said in the post-game press conference. After that, it was clear that the Stars wouldn't be able to control the remainder of the game. Sunderland added another goal on a penalty after a badly mistimed tackle on Sunderland in the box. Eric Harley headed in a corner shot with then minutes remaining to seal the game for the Terminators. "We just couldn't control the midfield," said Stjepan after the game. "Mackallen couldn't keep the ball, and the midfield clogged up as we couldn't keep the ball moving around the pitch. That's the key to our game, ball movement, and we couldn't get that going, so we losed."

When asked what his plans were for the squad during their bye week, Stjepan responded that there would probably be some team bonding activities, but otherwise a restful week for the squad.

Around the World Cup...
It was a quiet day in World cup qualifying, even with the top seeded teams playing today. In Group One, Cuation remain on top of the group after defeating Kirstiriera. Milchaman colony Collonie defeated CR Oscilloscopes with a 1-0 shoutout victory. Algal states continued their upset run as they beat longtime participants The Weegies 3-2. Nanakaland and TnUI both won their games by two goal margins in Group Two as well. Eauz absolutely destroyed Milchama 5-0, with much rejoicing from our own borders. Hiiraan upset Qazox and Dorian and Sonya beat out Tanah Burung in a brutal 3-2 slugfest. Sarzonia defeated Hypocria in a 3-1 knockout, the game that should have been so much more. Catadunes continued their high-scoring match streak with a six-goal match with the Crystils, only this time on the losing end of a 4-2 match. Some guys from New Preussen upset the Bazalopes 2-1, and there was much weeping and nashing of teeth In Bazalonia. The Archregimancy and Rejistania played to a 1-1 draw, and the Orange-Blues ball-sitting was in top form as ever.

In our own group the Floridians upset Rolatia with a 2-1 victory, which could prove very useful in securing the second spot overall with a little more distance between the lower teams and the Stars. Yafor 2 beat The Belmore Family 2-1 and Chuck Norris continued their surprising run over the BoF winners Allied Anime Worlds. Starblaydia destroyed Wentland in their first match of the bup 4-1, while East Lithuania and Priggdom and a 3-3 goalfest on their hands. The match between Nedalia and Audioslavia was quite a game to watch, with some very fine football on display, and the 'slaves came out on top 2-1. Majeristan and McPsychoville both destroyed their opponents and Hockey Canada beat Kaze Progressa in Group Ten. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega struggled in their two all draw to the despotic Puduans. Georgeonia upset the highranked Pastorville 1-0, while Giant Zucchini got beat 3-1 by the crazy Tadjiks in Group 11. Finally, Group 12 had some very high scoring games, with the highest being a 3 all draw with Jon Parkin and some really sorry Kittens. Did we tell you their sorry, for whatever they did?

Matchday one victory for the Islanders

A 4-0 win over Nebuleux was just what the Islanders desried, a hatrick by Guarin and a stunning freekick by Macalinao sealed the matchday 1 victory for Cataduanes in some style, many are hoping that the islanders will continue to play there effective and entertaining brand of passing football.

However they face highly fancied Crystilakere in the next next fixture who will no doubt prove a tougher test for Cataduanes.

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


Trebilcock Trouble Cock-up

21 year old Waffles defender Colan Trebilcock might want to stay overseas
for a little while; the Spaamanian number seven has committed what is
perhaps the cardinal sin in football: an own goal. Spaam travelled to
Shing-Shang in the second match of the World Cup qualifying, and expected
to at least come away with an away win, having won by four goals against a
team ranked around 50 positions higher than their latest opponent, who
themselves lost by five goals in their last match. However, the relatively
unknown team came out firing, and actually delivered some chances against
the experienced Spaamanian defense.

The mistake came in the 31st minute, with Shing-Shang trying to convert a
corner. Trebilcock went to head the ball away from goal, but instead headed
it straight into the goal, and gave Shing-Shang a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity: one nil up against a world class veteran team. The shame was
obvious on the young defender's face, and he was immediately swapped off
for 18 year old wunderkind Crewenna Dingle. The rest of the match was then
dedicated to controlling the ball and trying to come back from what could be
the shock loss of the round.

The Spaamanian fans were in agony until the 73rd minute, when captain Ewa
Ivey received the ball from number 17 Goss, and delivered the equaliser.
However, hope of a win were dashed when striker Cleder Cawrse was given a
red card, and the Waffles were reduced to ten. The game ended in a dream
result for Shing-Shang and a nightmare for Spaam: one all. Coach Gee was
obviously disappointed with the result: "It is truly unfortunate what
happened, and disappointing that we didn't get the three points. But we
have to put this behind us and concentrate on the true challenge next week."

Spaam travels to Oliverry next week to play the second seed in the group.
Colan Trebilcock will be given that game off and will be replaced by number 15
Crewenna Dingle, while Cleder Cawrse will be replaced by number 8 Melyor
Trewin.

Shing-Shang 1:1 Spaam
(7 Trebilcock {own goal}) (1 Ivey)

The Group Of Death

Starblaydia sent a warning signal to all other teams with an impressive four
goal to one away win over Spaam's main rivals, Wentland. The game was
tied on one all at half time, but three goals to the visitors in the second half
sealed the victory. Wentland's coach was blaming bad luck on the loss, but
they were simply out classed. Priggdom and East Lithuania provided fans
with an entertaining six goal game that ended in a tie, while veterans Haraki
made sure Obsidianus are still goalless in qualifying, with a one nil away win.

Wentland 1:4 Starblaydia
Priggdom 3:3 East Lithuania
Obsidianus 0:1 Haraki

Even though Spaam were disappointing with their tie, they managed to creep
up to top spot on the table, though one point separates the top six teams.
East Lithuania are impressing with their second place, while Obsidianus are
under-performing and are early favourites for the wooden spoon. The
Waffles top spot will not last long, however, as they play Oliverry next week,
then have a bye, and may drop as low as seventh.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Spaam 2 1 1 0 5 1 4 4
2 East Lithuania 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 4
3 Oliverry 1 1 0 0 6 1 5 3
4 Starblaydia 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 3
5 Wentland 2 1 0 1 4 5 -1 3
6 Haraki 2 1 0 1 1 2 -1 3
7 Priggdom 2 0 1 1 4 6 -2 1
8 Shing-Shang 2 0 1 1 2 7 -5 1
9 Obsidianus 2 0 0 2 0 5 -5 0

Plijous Watch

Spaamanian Plijous made sure that Spaam were not winless, supplying Plij
City fans with a very impressive win over the Macabees at home. Star
captain Alan Belmore scored twice early in the game, catching the 67th
ranked visitors by suprise. The Gulls then played some good old Karelan, and
made sure the two nil scoreline remained to the end. After the match,
Belmore said "Braaains." The win sees Plijous move up to 4th on the table,
though this good luck can surely not last.

Spaamanian Plijous 2:0 The Macabees
(Belmore 7, 14)

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
3 Schiavonia 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
4 Spaamanian Plijous 2 1 0 1 3 2 1 3
5 The Islands of Qutar 2 1 0 1 3 4 -1 3

Next Week

Spaam flies to Oliverry next week, and will be hoping to keep last year's hosts
to a draw, and to keep the Waffles qualification hopes alive. Starblaydia is
at home against East Lithuania, and the visitors can only hope that they do
not lost by too much. Haraki hosts Shing-Shang in what should be an
interesting match, though anything but a Haraki win would be suprising.
Obsidianus hosts Priggdom and Wentland has a bye to wrap up Group 8. In
Group 12, Spaamanian Plijous flies to Jon Parkin, and his team, in what should
be an interesting match, though critics are predicting two Spaamanian losses
next week, despite the Gulls' win.

To be continued on page 2...

A hastily-announced press conference was always an event which Simeone Di Bradini hated, the World Cup Committee President liked to have some sort of printed notes to go from, rather than random scribbles on a scrap of paper. He hastily gathered his notes and cleared his throat.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "ladies and... hey! Shut the hell up! For crying out loud. Anyway. The situation regarding one Peter Hobble is reaching some kind of a climax and I feel it's time to stop this little situation before it gets out of hand."

Finally the reporters, photographers, cameramen and old people with nothing better to do had stopped talking.

"The longer this crisis continues, the harder it will be to fix. Simply, the answer is this: Peter Hobble, werewolf or otherwise, must be removed from playing for the Elrich national team immediately. He has already played for Bazalonia, and so his international career is locked into that nation."

A murmour went around the room, but Simeone continued, winging it somewhat.

"The simplest course of action is the best one, remove Hobble from the Elrich side and leave the previous results as they are. Re-playing two games because of one player would be unfair on all other teams. A mistake has been made, initiated by the more... supernatural things of this world. Hobble goes back to Bazalonia, and nothing more will be said of this situation."

Jeruselem Government News

First points for Jeruselem in World Cup 27

After the first game bye, Jeruselem played highly ranked rival Druida. No team took home three points, and it ended up in 1 ALL draw. Not the best start for top seed in this group, but Druida are a good team who can make the top 3 with ease. Jeruselem not at their best, but we sometimes lose some early games anyway then come home strong.

Cuation scored a win over lowly Kirstiriera 3-1 to register 3 points, to add to their frst game win. They top the group! Much expected win really.

Collonie beat up on CR Oscilloscopes 2-0 for more points and the win moves them to 2nd. A good start but they are playing weak teams at the moment like Cuation are doing.

Two low ranked teams? One should grab glory and win? Err, no. The worst result - NIL ALL. Atheistic Right played An Archy, so it's official athiest anarchics cannot score goals?

Yes, Jeruselem 6th but we've only played one game. New Montreal States fall to 4th because of a bye. Top teams have byes first so it helps the other teams.

Group 1
Druida 1-1 Jeruselem
Kirstiriera 1-2 Cuation
CR Oscilloscopes 0-2 Collonie
Atheistic Right 0-0 An Archy


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Cuation 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
2 Collonie 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 4
3 Druida 2 1 1 0 2 1 1 4
4 New Montreal States 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
5 An Archy 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 2
6 Jeruselem 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
7 Atheistic Right 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
8 Kirstiriera 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0
9 CR Oscilloscopes 2 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0


GROUP 9
Nedalia 1-2 Audioslavia
Ocmeoub 0-1 Chicanada
Berner Street 1-2 Ariddia
Pedriana 0-3 Kelse

Audioslavia woke up from a bye and mauled our friends the Lions. Nedalia lost 1-2 to the best team in the group without being shamed. A display of hope for the Lions who aren't losing 0-4 to superteams. The other three results were expected with low teams getting beaten.

...

GROUP 10
Kaze Progressa 0-1 Hockey Canada
Magnus Valerius 0-0 Harlesburg
Crna Gora Liv Eng 1-4 Majeristan
Imperial Moose 1-3 McPsychoville

And the Hockey Canada steamtrain rolls on. Kaze Progressa is not a weak opponent, and not one to laugh at. KP were once great and want to be again. The Canucks too them on and won the game, in a typical way 1-0.

Other results? Harlesburg had one of these NIL ALL games, but the opposition was Magnus Valerius who aren't WC27 floor mats. Still, they could have won if they shot straighter. Majeristan and McPsychoville registered some more wins over WC27 floormats.

Just one group 7 result of interest.
Mr Chuck Norris 4-2 Allied Anime Worlds

Yes, Chuck failed to roundhouse kick Yafor 2 and lost 1-2 on MD1, but beat up some Anime characters on MD2.

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif
Today Swilatia will be having a match against the tough rejistanian team, who is among the best in the world. We do not know if we can actually win this.

Well, we hope we can. we hope that Swilatia will qualify this time.

In other news, Swilatia has not yet chosen its freindly opponents for matchdays 5 and 14 and is open to people whocan send in a request message to the team

OOC:that was a request that anyone who wants a friendly match against me on Matchdays 5 and 14 sends me a request TG.

Princess’ host arrested; details uncertain

It has just been reported that Michael Ford, head of the Schiavonian Football Federation, has been arrested by the Schiavonian authorities. Mr. Ford had been tasked with “looking after” Princess Serena, ruling monarch of San Adriano, as she attended the football match between the two nations. The Princess had then been invited to the Royal House of Schiavonian monarch King Francesco, and it was during her visit that the King’s palace was apparently broken into. Neither King Francesco, Princess Serena nor any other person were injured during the break-in. There has been no confirmation as yet that Mr. Ford’s arrest is linked to these events, although speculation is rife.

The Princess herself is making no comment on the incident.
“It is not my place to comment or speculate on the judicial process in Schiavonia,” she explained simply, with her usual, calm gracefulness, although she had said earlier that Mr. Ford had been “a most gracious host” to her during her visit to the King Francesco Stadium. The Princess spoke no more of the matter, instead referring the great hospitality of the Schiavonian people and authorities, and to the new ties of friendship between the two nations.

Suggestions that Mr. Ford had become enamoured with Princess Serena and had broken into the Royal House to try and see her again have been scornfully dismissed by the Sanadrianese Royal Palace, as have “equally ludicrous” suggestions that Mr. Ford was attempting to assassinate the Princess.


Nation celebrates after shock draw

In other news, the tiny Sanadrianese nation is celebrating tonight after an unexpected home draw against Kericia during the Sovereign Village’s first ever home match. The game took place in the somewhat misnamed Sanadrianese National Stadium in the neighbouring country of Uhuh-Topia, and a full fifty-three Sanadrianese supporters attended, although they were again vastly outnumbered by the supporters of the opposite side.

Unsurprisingly, Kericia scored the opening goal, against a Sanadrianese side whose five defenders were able to delay the first goal until the twenty-fourth minute. The first murmur of excitement among the small number of Sanadrianese supporters, however, came when Et Wih successfully ploughed through Kericia’s defence for a startling equaliser in the fiftieth minute, to the audible cheers of about fifty excited fans. Kericia retook the lead in the sixty-second minute, but a corner kick, shot by Albani and converted by Speranza Marani, brought an elated Sanadrianese side back up to an equal score line in the seventieth minute.

Nobody dared believe in it quite yet, with twenty minutes still to go on the clock, and, seven minutes later, it seemed that hesitation was well-founded. De Rossi instinctively held back a Kerician attacker within the penalty area, granting the visiting side a penalty kick. It looked as if San Adriano’s dreams of a draw were about to evaporate, but Vincenzo Adani saved the shot with an impressive leap, and dozens of Sanadrianese were able to breathe again. The match ended on a two-all draw.

“It was more than we could ever have hoped for!” defender Wio Iaquinta said after the game, a smile on her face. “We came here just to try and do our best, and, well, we tried to tell ourselves that nothing was impossible, but I don’t think any of us really believed we would be able to achieve this! I’m really very happy, and I hope we’ve made everyone at home very happy as well.”

“Welcome once again to another World Cup edition of Tynelian Soccer Weekly. As always this is Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin keeping you up to date on the doings of the Tynelian World Cup soccer effort. In case you missed it Tynelia’s offense continued to slumber and a fine effort by Vladimar ‘The Wall’ Malloy
was wasted as the Tynelian offense failed to score for the second straight game and the team was forced to settled for a 0-0 draw against Risa-Aramour, a team many thought Tynelia would be able to beat.”

“That’s right Sal. There’s no reason why Tynelia couldn’t have gained the three points for a win rather than one for a tie. Again the team’s offense was nonexistent but fortunately for them the defense was as good as the offense was bad and they salvaged a point. Still if I were Coach O’Meara I’d be disappointed with this result. This was one of those games Tynelia should have taken advantage of playing a much lower ranked team but again the offense let them down.”


“Well Anna, don’t forget, Tynelia was on the road again for this game just like their first game. The old adage goes, play for the tie on the road and the win at home. Maybe the team just needs to get home where they’ll feel more comfortable.”

“They need something Sal. They’ve allowed only 1 goal in their two games so far and have only pone point to show for it. While Malloy is an excellent keeper he needs help from the rest of the team. As everyone knows, put enough pressure on it and even a wall will crumble. The offense must step up and help him out. If Tynelia’s home opener against the lowest seed in the group New Chazovnia doesn’t wake up the offense nothing will. And the game against Bettia looms after that.”

“That’s the big question then Anna. Can Tynelia get something going?”

“At the moment it doesn’t look promising. Ironically they may actually have a decent shot of scoring against Bettia as Bettia usues an all out attack to keep the pressure on their opponents. However that does leave them open to breakaways and similar big play types of situations as defense isn’t their main concern. But can Tynelia keep up in a shootout? I don’t think so.”

“Speaking of shooting I think this was possibly one of the most defensive games I’ve seen. Most of the play was in the center of the field with few good chances for either side. The total shots were tied at 8 each and Risa-Aramour had a 2-1 edge in quality chances. But neither team could get much going on offense. Tynelia did control the time of possession but only buy a little more than a minute. All in all, a lackluster showing by the offense.”

“Agreed. Coach O’Meara had stated before the tournament started that he was looking to this game to give some people a rest before the Bettia game but I don’t see how he can do it considering the total lack of scoring so far. He needs to keep them playing to get some sort of offensive flow together.”

“Or maybe a rest would give them a chance to get their heads together?”

“No Sal, I think with the home crowd finally behind them, O’Meara will want to stay with his A team to keep the crowd involved in the game. I think the team does miss the hometown support. With the Baptism of Fire in neutral stadiums it was possible for the Tynelian fans to buy tickets and show up in good numbers to wave their Tynelian Towels and support their team. With the World Cup being played in biased stadiums its much tougher for the fans to get tickets for the games and the ones that do are drowned out by the locals.”

“So what do you think about the New Chazovnia game Anna?”

“If there’s any game Tynelia should win this is it. First home game against the lowest seed. While its still early, if they don’t win today you may as well kiss their chances of doing anything goodbye. Ideally, Tynelia needs to win two of their next three games going into their rest day. But the offense must step up. With the Algar States shocking everyone with their 2-0-0 record the margin for error Tynelia has grows slimmer each game.”

“How about the Algar States? People are wondering if they sent in their juniors team to the BoF where they didn’t even make the quarterfinals and suddenly they’re 2-0 in the Cup itself.”

“It just goes to show anything can happen when teams actually get on the field. After all the Kazoo People didn’t expect to be 0-0-2 after two games battling New Chazovnia for the cellar. Its also important to remember that in a long series of group play like this almost every team might be able to pull off two or three wins in a row but the question is can they keep it up for the long haul. While the Algar States have certainly opened the idea of everyone in the group if not the tournament whether they can sustain this run is a perfectly legitimate question.”

“I guess we’ll just have to keep an eye on them and see where we both stand when it comes time to play them in the day 7 matchup. Until then we’ll just have to hope that the 50,000 screaming fans in the Presidential Coliseum in the capital of Tyr waving their Tynelian Towels will be enough to wake up the offense that has been snoozing for far too long.”

“Something had better Sal.”

“I know Anna, but we’ll all find out tomorrow afternoon when the game is scheduled. It will of course be shown live and in its entirety here in Tynelia. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

<credits roll>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Changes Announced for Team Tynelia

Tynelian head coach Marcus O’Meara, upset over the lack of scoring in the World Cup to date has announced some lineup changes for the game against New Chazovnia. He had the following to say to reporters.

“We need to do something to shake things up. No points in two games is totally unacceptable. We had a couple people from the Baptism of Fire who don’t seem to have the same intensity they had there. So maybe some time on the bench will get their competitive juices going again. Our defense has been great so far, I’m not taking anything away from them but the offense needs a swift kick in the rear and maybe this is what needs to be done to start it up again.”

After this comment he announced the lineup changes. Brad Collins, whose aggressive play in the BoF helped keep the offense balanced but has been a nonfactor to date is sitting. Taking his place will be Bret Brantley who has seen only limited action to this point. Also Brian Kenders hasn’t been very sharp with either his passing or ball handling and will also be sitting. Taking his spot will be Lynn Evans who will be making history being the first woman to make a start for Tynelia in World Cup play.

Will these changes pay off? Only time will tell.

Raph Passes Laser in Charts
Starblaydia prove too powerful for Wentland

There are good points and bad points to a 4-1 victory over Wentland, especially when your closest rival for the top qualification spot won 6-1 on the previous Matchday.

"Raff's movement were great," said Manager Khim Azanulbizarn, "the lad made great space fer'is two goals. And t'crosses from Paulie and Chav were also reet good."

Depsite the pin-point balls from out wide, however, Starblaydia's midfield was somewhat swamped. With Menecrates constantly looking to push up, Georges Blanc was often left outnumbered against Weston and Capper. With Wentland starting off running the midfield they had a few quick oppurtunities in the first half, cut out by Mathias. Despite Tolkacheva's pace she just couldnt escape from the clutches of the centre-back pairing.

It was the veteran Raphaelo, though, who's movement proved best, nipping in between goalie and centre-back to nod the ball home for the opening goal. Starblaydia thought that they'd wrapped the first half up at one-nil, but Blanc's over-exertions in the midfield were beginning to cost them. After a series of play in which Blanc could only foul the opposition around him, Wentland gained momentum and a quick free-kick split the centre-backs, and although Mathias got a foot to it, Treves kept his feet well under pressure and placed it into the open net with the last kick of the half.

Starblaydia went in more angry than anything else, and fifteen minutes of yelling from a annoyed Dwarf didn't help matters. Starblaydia came out of the blocks like a greyhound, and when Alec Harris was sent off after reacting to a misplaced foot from Paul Noble, it signaled Starblaydia's cue to run rampant. The new left-back had nothing for Noble's skill, beating him three times before crossing with his right boot. Again Raphaelo had the movement and the leap, and again the net rippled as Starblaydia took the lead.

Raph was running harder than ever as he surged up to try and steal a cross from the hands of Derrington. All Derrington could do was punch it clear, only finding the left boot of Menecrates, who immediately found the back of the net. Two goals and one man up and Starblaydia were dominating, laying down their marker like they promised they would.

Wentland's new striker came on with a sprint but left on a stretcher as he collided with the post, something which will surely be shown on various footballing 'cock-up' compliations in a DVD bargain bin near you soon. With zero attacking threat, Azanulbizarn changed up his entire strike force, bringing off Raphaelo, Tolkacheva and Menecrates for Von Erich, Vega and the dwarven Rage.

The young guns were still out to prove themselves, however, with Rage and Vega linking up to blast a fourth in the net from the boot of the Andossa Se Mitrin Vega President's favourite. With Oliverry not playing today and Spaam and East Lithuania only managing a draw, Starblaydia lie fourth behind their Atlantian Oceania counterparts, with both having a game in hand over Spaam and East Lithuania, just a point ahead of them. Already this Group is looking close, and even a little run of good form and results could see a team stretch out a huge points lead.

Final Score from The Garrison:
Wentland 1 - 4 Starblaydia
(Treves 45) - (Raphaelo 15 & 47, Menecrates 52, Vega 87)

Three points, but without the style

The Rouge-et-Noirs travelled to Berner Street today, for a must-win match against a low-ranked side. The Ariddians pulled off an expected victory, but with a scoreline perhaps a little too close for comfort. Having established a lead thanks to Faraj in the thirty-fifth minute, consolidated by Clément in the fifty-eighth, the Ariddians then lost ground as Berner Street finally scored their opening goal in the seventy-eighth. Despite their forward-oriented play, Ariddia were not able to improve upon that score and, to add to the embarrassment, midfielder Michael Swimmer was shown a red card late in the game for accidentally stepping on a fallen Streetian player.

“We can’t say it was a bad result,” a cautious coach Seul commented later. “We did, after all, win, and that’s the most important. But we are going to have to do better than this if we want to last in this Cup. The starting odds are against us, which means we do need to be playing exceptionally well. So far, we haven’t been doing that.”

The Schiavone Scribe
Ford in court today!

Michael Ford will appear in court today charged with stalking Princess Serena of San Adriano during her state visit to Schiavonia.

Ford, who was SFF Chief, is likely to plead guilty after overwhelming evidence against him. Not only was he found breaking into the grounds of the Palace of King Francesco, but, after a thorough police search of his appartment, disturbing pictures and scriptures made by Ford relating to both the Princess and FALE representative SyLy were found.

Meanwhile, the SFF are on the hunt for a replacement for Ford. According to the SFF, the position requires good organisational and PR skills. If that's the case, then quite how Ford got the job remains a mystery.

Harvey Alfredo, currently a member of OOFI's Kingsbury Olympic Bid planners and a close personal friend of Sloths manager Rodney Lowe, is favourite to take over the SFF's top administrative role.

Meanwhile, Liverpool England have re-applied for the extradition of Ford to their nation to face charges there. In light of the current case against Mr Ford, full co-operation is expected.

Group 6

The Archregimancy 0-1 Rejistania
The Footie Dream Team 2-4 Rordia
Popolus 2-2 Swilatia
New Preussen 3-1 Bazalonia


Code:
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Rordia 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 4
2 Popolus 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 4
3 New Preussen 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 4
4 Praying2God 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
5 Rejistania 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
6 Bazalonia 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 3
7 Swilatia 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
8 The Archregimancy 2 0 0 2 1 4 -3 0
9 The Footie Dream Team 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0

The Popolus team is still on the top. They have drawn the second game vs. Svilatia but they are still very good. They were ingnorated and repressed by the community in the past, but they have proven that thay can play the game as real proffesionals. The results speak for themselves and the team is confident.
They came from the darkness and shine like a candle, they must keep the flame burning until the end of the world cup.

"The boys played good, but they lacked selfconfidense in the end of the game" said Mel Hines the head coach.

"We are happy that the fairy tale has come true for us - the team is plaing good in the world cup and that is all that matters. Our scouts are also in the croud picking up the next generation of players fro the team. We must always stay up to date and modern." says general maneger Joe Bucket.

"We will provide extra funding for the boys when they come back" says finance minister od Popolus mr. John Bell

"We are happy if we do not have to enter the field, that shows how good the first team is." said reserve forward l player Anja Pobler, 27

Popolus is confident the scores are good and the future is bright.

Blue and white are the colores of future.

We will keep on fighting!

Kid Glow PR director of the Pops

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Picayune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama get crushed

There really isn't much more to it outside of that. Eauz came they saw and they smashed us scoring 5 along the way. It's a pity that we couldn't have gotten at least one consolation like what happened in the Online World Cup game but you can only do so much. Coach Jamie Smith said, "That was an embarassment for all involved. Next week we get a day off to lick our wounds and play The Kazoo Peoples in a fun match where we can win."

This game requires no match report.

The opening party
By Simon Grinchik, part time sportsjournalist

While their preparations to this World Cup may not have been very impressive at times, it still proved useful to the Tadjik Tigers. Maybe it is true that you learn from your mistakes, not that they made a mistake against Giant Zucchini in the past. And they certainly did not make a mistake today because they beat the Zucchini's with 1-3.

Alot of credit for this victory goes to Tadjikistans newest talent, Zlata Tulberdiev. Recently given a place in the first team of his club Farrukh Gissar, this boy amazed friend and foe with excellent passes and acurate shooting. Here too, he showed that he can make it in the Football world. He still required an assist from Saidomir Saradov for his first goal in the sixteenth minute, his second goal was the result of his own hard work, moving out alone after recuperating a lost ball, he rushed forward over the left flank, Zucchini Goalkeeper Hendrik Groot came out of his box to meet him but could not stop Tulberdiev from scoring with a hard shot that flew in between his left hand and leg.

The other young talent, Zhenya Zyrianov gave Tadjikistan a comfortable lead by scoring with a header, after a cornershot by Daniel Kirponos in the 26th minute. In a static phase like that, a goalkeeper and his defenders are usually powerless against a wellplaced header.
Giant Zucchini had an answer ready, though it was not convincing enough to win the match, it was just good enough to save their own honour. For that, they thank Gottlieb Poulsen, Striker from a club, the Tadjiks know well.

Coach Sharipov couldnt be more happy with his teams first result: 'A good start is quite important, it does not only result in points, it also motivates. Especially when the points are secured on enemy turf against a rival for the Qualification. Offcourse its important now to keep this up and stay ahead of our main rivals, so winning is what I want to do against Pastorville. I must admit that I do not know much about this team, except a few tapes that I watched so it could still be an interesting match anyway.


Fixtures:
MD1: Stay at home, do nothing
MD2: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan W 1-3
MD3: Tadjikistan - Pastorville
MD4: Green Wombat - Tadjikistan
MD5: Tadjikistan - Emperor Pudu
MD6: Lovisa - Tadjikistan
MD7: Tadjikistan - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD8: Becquerelia - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - Georgonia
MD10: Stay home again, do nothing
MD11: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD12: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD13: Tadjikistan - Green Wombat
MD14: Emperor Pudu - Tadjikistan
MD15: Tadjikistan - Lovisa
MD16: Andossa se Mitrin Vega - Tadjikistan
MD17: Tadjikistan - Becquerelia
MD18: Georgonia - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Tulberdiev - 2
Zyrianov - 1

Overheard outside a mosque in New Islamabad, Majeristan:

PEDESTRIAN ONE: "Glory to Allah!"
PEDESTRIAN TWO: Strains to listen to jumble after that phrase. Ears light up when PEDESTRIAN ONE mentions "Falcons."
PEDESTRIAN THREE: "What was the score?"
PEDESTRIAN FOUR: "One-four win away."
PEDESTRIAN THREE: "What?"
PEDESTRIAN ONE: "We won an away match, 4-1."
PEDESTRIAN TWO: "Who were we playing?"
PEDESTRIAN THREE: "I guess some colony of Liverpool England."
PEDESTRIAN FOUR: "Good. Liverpool England get on my nerves anyway."
PEDESTRIAN ONE: "We weren't playing Liverpool England. They're not in our group. We were playing a colony of theirs from the sound of it."
PEDESTRIAN TWO: "Oh."
PEDESTRIAN FOUR: "We're 2-0 and in first place in our group. That's all that matters."
PEDESTRIAN THREE: "We're playing the lower-ranked sides in our group now, though. We should win these matches."
PEDESTRIAN FOUR: "A win is a win. I don't care who they're against. We still get three points no matter who it is."
PEDESTRIAN TWO: "You're right."

Fzzzzt.....Crackle.....hey anyone out there?
This is Jimmy McFlynn broadcasting on KBBPL
Pirate Radio! Sweet man I think this things working.
Guys, check it out, the Georgeonian Media has been on strike
for weeks now, the bastards, they timed it to clash with WC27!
We've rigged up this station from a basement in downtown
Oxonia! Haha losers! The Prime Minister is so cool, he refused to
crackdown on pirate radio stations, said they were the voice of the
people or something. Suits me anyway. Point is no one in the country
knows whats happening over at the WC and that sucks man, so here I
am, Jimmy McFlynn bring you 100% fact. And a big **** *** **** ****
to the media industry. Anyway we're in Group 11 with some pretty kick ass
teams, and we came last at BOF, which is so lame man! Anyway we'll give
'em hell whatever happens, this is gonna be so sweet! We're playing
Tadjikistan, Lovisa, Giant Zucchini and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega who
I think are all pretty good and some other guys too, Pastorvillle,
Becquerelia, Green wombat, and Emporer Pudu but I don't know much
about them.....fzzzzz...crackle.... You guys still with me? Man
this equipment sucks. Woah, hold up! My Mate Dave is over at the WC
and he's just sent me the results of our first two games!
Looks like we got trashed by Giant Zucchini, that sucks man! We'd
better not go another whole tournament without a win or the team's
gonna get lynched! Wait, wait I must be reading this wrong,...no,
wait **** yeah! We won! Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah! Georgonia's first
ever win! We rule! This is so sweet....crackle....fzzt...woah hold
together you heap of junk, yeah yeah we beat Pastorville 1-0! This
is awesome man, we're gonna qualify for sure! Sweet as....crackle...
crackle...damn man I think the batteries are going...
until next time....crackle...immy McFl...fzzt...*click*.

Epiphytes off to great start in World cup qualifying

Letete,AS (ASP)- After two days of world cup qualifying the Algal states epiphytes have two wins against much higher ranked opponents. In their first match they visited the Kazoo Peoples who were ranked 45th going into the match, the epiphytes pulled off a major 3-1 upset in which recently promoted starter Patrick Deveau scored a hat trick in his first career start. After the game Deveau was glowing and told the media,"i'm in shock, I can't believe how well I played considering how nervous I was at the start, but we've got a good team here and they helped me settle down quickly." Coach Al repeated his praise for his young forward in saying how he knew that Deveau was the right choice to use as a starter when it became apparent after the BoF that the team needed additional firepower up front even if it meant gutting the midfield so that the defence remained unaffected.
In the second game of qualifying, the 65th ranked Weegies came to town and the epiphytes again rose to the challenge. It soon became apparent ,however, that the high ranked team was unbothered by the frequent rocking of the stadium on the waves as they jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead with goals in the 3rd minute off of an early corner and again in the 16th minute off the crossbar. The Weegies maintained this lead until the 50th minute when Patrick Deveau, the hero of game one, scored a goal to the top right corner off of a breakaway after receiving a bullet pass from Thomas Amirault. Then in the 60th minute off of an almost identical play Thomas Scored to the top left corner after a pass from Deveau to tie the game. Captain Mike Deveau scored the game winning goal off of a freekick in the 88th minute for a 3-2 Algal States win.
In the post game press conference, coach Al, stated that he is extremely proud of the teams performance to date and that as long as they keep it up he does not see a need for any immediate changes. When asked to comment on the epiphytes chances against Risa-Aramour in the 3rd match he was noncommital and simply reiterated his focus on defence and offence and keeping the ball out of the midfield and that if they follow his game plan there is no reason that they can't keep winning. Game 3 will be broadcast live on Algal States national television.

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Celebrating 100 Years of World Cup Participation


...continued from page 1

Our Belmore Is Better Than Yours

Alan Belmore is back. Except now there is more than one. The captain of
The Belmore Family is apparently the same Mr Belmore that has scored 99%
of TBF's goals, yet that would place him at around 100 years of age. Plus
there is the fact that he has been killed on more than one occasion. On the
other side of the world, the captain of Spaamanian Plijous is also Alan
Belmore, though there doesn't seem to be much information about him, and
the rules do not permit the real Alan Belmore to represent the Gulls
while living. All we can claim is that Spaamanian Belmore is better than
Belmore Belmore, by 3 goals to 2 over two games.

Spaamanian Plijous Alan Belmore: 3 goals / 2 games (1.5 gpg)
The Belmore Family Alan Belmore: 2 goals / 2 games (1.0 gpg)

Statistics

Goal Scorers

1 Ewa Ivey 2
17 Mylor Goss 2
4 Crewenna Roskelly 1
7 Colan Trebilcock -1

History

1 Spaam 4:1 Obsidianus W
2 Shing-Shang 1:1 Spaam D
3 Oliverry ?:? Spaam

Photo Opportunities

The oldest member of the squad, number 3 Newlyn Mundey, during a practice session.

http://www.bocking.u-net.com/wall.jpg

Young number 7 Colan Trebilcock after his fateful "goal".

http://www.sportinglife.com/pictures/general/allsportreidfrancewoe.jpg

Deadbolt Sentinel - Sports
Clear victory a morale boost for all

In the second straight away game, the Minutemen brought the goods against one of the teams coach Nate Webb identified that they needed to beat to have any hope of qualifying - two goals from Michel Lysiak and one from Wade Matvichuk sent McPsychoville on the way to a comfortable 3-1 victory over Imperial Moose. That said, the Moose did score first, in the tenth minute - due to their policy of not naming their players (allegedly in order to avoid bookings), the players involved can only be referred to as 'Number Six' and 'Number Nine', but midfielder 6, probably the best player for the Moose, jinked past Steph Alexander and picked out 9 with a long pass. Neither defender could adequately clear it, and 9 was left with the simplest of shots to score.

Up until then, the Minutemen had been sluggish, but the goal acted like the proverbial kick up the arse; barely a minute after, Daniel Sabin's speculative shot hit the crossbar, and the rebound header from Lee was only stopped by the heroic defense of #4. However, the relentless attacks were bound to have some effect, and they did - the young #3 panicked when Damien Lee rushed at him, and mistimed his tackle. Lee went down, giving Lysiak a free-kick on the edge of the box. The kick looped around the three-man defensive wall with a wicked curve, and could only be tipped into the net by Moose goalkeeper.

From there on in, it all went McPsychoville’s way. Wade Matvichuk added another goal to his burgeoning tally after taking a long ball from Chris Colton and letting fly with a rocket of a shot from twenty yards out, and Lysiak added yet more support to the ever-growing movement that he should be captaining the side by heading the Minutemen’s third goal from a Chris Lindsey corner. His Man of the Match award was only disputed by a few hardcore Brandon Silver fans, and even they were shouted out in the end; the fact that a fight broke out over who got to keep the ‘Master of the Free Kicks’ shirt is testimony enough.

Two games in, McPsychoville sit on the fourth and final qualifying place, with three points and a plus-two goal difference. However, directly below rest Hockey Canada, who were given a bye on the first day due to being first seeds within the group and so have a game in hand, and Casari also have played once, yet are placed second. From the two showings we’ve seen so far of the Minutemen, it’s clear that we will have to up our game tremendously for the visit of Majeristan, among others. Our next game is scheduled to take place in London’s LeMaitre Arena, where we host the first of the unranked teams in Magnus Valerius. As with all Minutemen games, MBN TV2 will be screening the match - the commentary team will also be joined by spurned striker Robbie Bacon.

Minutemen scores first:
MD01: @ Majeristan (0-1)
MD02: @ Imperial Moose (4-1)
MD03: vs. Magnus Valerius
MD04: vs. Casari
MD05: @ Harlseburg
MD06: Bye
MD07: vs. Crna Gora Liv Eng
MD08: vs. Hockey Canada
MD09: @ Kaze Progressa

MD10: vs. Majeristan
MD11: vs. Imperial Moose
MD12: @ Magnus Valerius
MD13: @ Casari
MD14: vs. Harlesburg
MD15: Bye
MD16: @ Crna Gora Liv Eng
MD17: @ Hockey Canada
MD18: vs. Kaze Progressa

Princess Serena not to press charges against stalker

There was anger in San Adriano today, after it was confirmed that SFF Chief Michael Ford is being charged, amongst other offences, with stalking Princess Serena during her State visit to Schiavonia. Many Sanadrianese reacted with indignation and disgust to this affront made to their monarch, but the Princess herself appeared calm and conciliatory in public.

While she admitted she had been “shocked” at the news, Princess Serena indicated that she would not be pressing charges against Mr. Ford via the Schiavonian justice system. It is understood that Ford will be charged with several offences in any case, but the Princess has apparently decided to smooth matters over as far as this particular offence is concerned.

“I’m confident the courts will render their judgement in a fair and efficient manner,” she said, and added that, if the Schiavonian judiciary wished to indict Michael Ford despite her not pressing charges, she would obviously neither comment nor seek to interfere in the legal matters of a sovereign foreign nation.

Finally, the Princess insisted that this incident did not, in any way, tarnish her highly favourable impression of Schiavonia, its people, its government, or the hospitality and friendship they had shown her.

The authorities in San Adriano have not requested access to the “disturbing pictures and scriptures” relating to Her Royal Highness and which were found in Ford’s possession. It is believed the Sanadrianese do not wish to see what Mr. Ford has subjected their monarch to in his disturbed fantasies. In the minds of most Sanadrianese, the matter is no doubt best swiftly forgotten.

http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt

NEDALIA 1 - 2 AUDIOSLAVIA
Kelly 32
Vitalis 75, 81
'Slaves Escape from Lion's Den
Three points taken from hardest match

The Audioslavian Bulls entered the den of the Nedalian Lions low on confidence and with an experimental formation, but came away with their heads held high with three hard earned points.

Nedalia's media had made much of this writer's claim that less than three of their players would, if they were Commerce Heightian, make it into the CH first eleven. With hindsight, the prediction sells a skillfull, powerful and free-flowing Nedalian side woefully short, and in an electric first half, the combined midfield prowess of Point, Nene, Hardman and Constantine proved that not only could they match their Audioslavian counterparts, they could outplay and out-think them.

After a cautious opening from both sides, Nedalia began pushing and pressuring Audioslavia, bullying them back to the edge of their own penalty area and keeping them there as the 8-man attack* searched for an opening.

*Nedalia's 4-4-2 formation is a bit misleading. It doesn't show the positions the players take up on the pitch, it shows their positions in and around the oppositions' penalty area.

A Nedalian goal was inevitable and it came on the half-hour mark. Innit Point recieved the ball on the edge of the area with his back to goal and closely marked by Mussorgsky. A flick of his heel and a quick turn saw him round the midfielder and a burst of pace sent him round the outside of left-back Inger Johansen. Point surged into the area on the right with Hjalmar Petäjä in hot pursuit. The speedy centre-half made up the ground and, with a great degree of heroism, leapt to pounce on the dummy that Point had just sold him. Point's feignt inside gave him the space for a shot, but instead he chose to drive it accross goal where Jimmy Kelly was waiting to finish for his second goal in two games.

It seemed to this writer that my words were rapidly being shoved down my throat. I may indeed by right that three Nedalian players could get into the CH side, but its nothing more than a moot point when you realise that the other eight members of the first team could, on the basis of this first-half performance, walk straight into the Audioslavian team.

To the 'slaves credit though, they defended resoloutely for the rest of the half, gradually reducing the lethal Nedalia attack to pot-shots from outside the area. Not that this was too safe an idea, as Yngve was twice beaten by speculative shots from James and Constantine. The first one struck the inside of the post whilst the last one struck the bottom corner but was, to the dismay of the fans, ruled out by the referee after Constantine was judged to have shoved his marker unfairly before recieving the ball for his shot. TV cameras around the ground showed evidence to the contrary though, as Didi Mussorgski appeared to slip of his own accord as he tried to block the pass.

The half-time break saw a surpring change in the 'slaves line-up with midfielder Kabaofo Alanila coming on for inexperienced centre half Mika Väinämöinen. It turned out to be a covert change of tactics, with the shored up midfield (now six players strong if you count the liberos as midfielders) working on containing the offensive plays of the Nedalians.

It seemed to be working as the match began to hang in midfield, the 'slaves even getting the ball to Vitalis for the striker to get his first shot on goal, a low, driving hit that beat Dans but harmlessly passed four feet wide of the post. It appeared for a while that the 'slaves were getting a foothold in the game, but hopes of a fightback were, for a few fleeting seconds, dashed on sixty minutes as Jimmy Kelly powered a header past Yngve only to see his effort ruled out for offside. Again, action replays showed that goal should have counted. Not only was Kelly onside, but he was being played onside by not one but two Audioslavians

Inexplicably saved from an unassailable deficit, the 'slaves began their first real forays into the Nedalian half and, even more inexplicably, found their first effort of the spell find the net. A turn of pace from Nikki Polsson got him half a yard ahead of the tastefully named Corona, and the winger's resulting cross was met with a powerful downwards header from Arturo Vitalis which narrowly eluded Dans' grasp and bounced up into the roof of the net.

After dominating the game for seventy five minutes and scoring three perfectly good goals, being pegged back to 1-1 was disheartening to the greatest degree for the Lions, and on eighty minutes they conceded another as Vitalis was again on target, ripping a shot into the roof of the net from close range after skipping past Ben Turner and finding space for a shot.

Nedalia made two attacking substitutions for the final ten minutes but, in the face of a ten-man defence, could find no route through to the Audioslavian goal. Their best opporunity came in the final minute when midfield playmaker Innit Point decided to go it alone and take it past three Audioslavian defenders, dragging the ball backwards been two of them and nutmegging the third one. With a clear path through to goal the Internashionale star player raked a shot past Yngve but saw it come off the post and bounce back out. Kelly's pace got ihim to the ball first but a last ditch tackle from Inger Johansen took the ball from under his feet as the striker was about to shoot. The resulting clearance was met by the final whistle, and Audioslavia had taken their first win of the tournament in unlikely circumstances.

D2R jinxed by Starblaydi prediction

Revolutionarian government outrage as the suspicious call for Starblaydian heads

Following two 2-0 losses, one embarassingly to lowly The Solar Association, The Revolutionarian government has been pressured by the head of up-an-coming religion Stitionism to take action against the Starblaydi editor who predicted a low scoring and embarassing campaign for the Revolutionaries.


It is unbelievable that the government can let such disgraceful comments about the beloved national team. The heads of those involved with those comments should be mailed to us. That is the only way to stop the holy gods from keeping the run of bad games with no Revolutionary goals.

The leader of the Margaretist religion had a different approach to the solving of the problem


The solution is fairly obvious. The number of sacrifices has been severely cut since World Cup 19, coming alongside a very harsh slump in form. All I propose is that we increase the number of sacrifices to BIBLICAL proportions, or to and beyond the numbers mentioned in The Holy Book of Random Numbers, so that we can appease Margaret, who has been both kind and cruel to us in the past.

Dance 2 Revolution Head Coach Naoki Maeda refused to speculate that the Gods were affecting his team due to the words and actions of others


I refuse to believe that Gods are punishing MY team for something SOMEONE ELSE predicted. As many of you know this will be my final World Cup before I step down, and it is obviously my job to get the morale of my players up. The campaign can only get better from here on, and I have a feeling it will. However, I do feel that The Solar Association used unsporting tactics involving their knowledge of the stars. Many of my players complained of the heat and blinding light that was given off by the stars and Sun during the game, and my goalkeeper conceded 2 goals in which he would usually easily save and we will be asking the NSFA to launch an investigation into the state of The Solar Association as a country to hold football matches

In footballing news, the Revolutionaries group table looks like this:


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Anathematic Republics 2 2 0 0 4 0 4 6
2 Tonissia 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 4
3 Cataduanes 2 1 0 1 7 5 2 3
4 Crystilakere 1 1 0 0 4 2 2 3
5 Spruitland 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
6 The Solar Association 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
7 UN Peacekeepers 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
8 Dance 2 Revolution 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
9 Nebuleux 2 0 0 2 1 7 -6 0


Qualifying Fixtures:
MD01: @ Anathematic Republics (2-0 L)
MD02: @ The Solar Association (2-0 L)
MD03: vs. UN Peacekeepers
MD04: vs. Spruitland
MD05: @ Tonissia
MD06: BYE
MD07: vs. Nebuleux
MD08: vs. Crystilakere
MD09: @ Cataduanes
MD10: vs. Anathematic Republics
MD11: vs. The Solar Association
MD12: @ UN Peacekeepers
MD13: @ Spruitland
MD14: vs. Tonissia
MD15: BYE
MD16: @ Nebuleux
MD17: @ Crystilakere
MD18: vs. Cataduanes

Title: Before game three

And we turn again to see what's ahead:


http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/st_kitts_and_nevis.jpgEmporer Pudu____at____Becqureliahttp://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/bnff.gif


WELCOME HOME, BECQUERELIA
Let's Hope You Do Better Here


Roentgen (JNS) - After two matchdays on the road, the Becquerelian National Team was glad to be home.

"It'll be nice to have some home-field advantage. And at Phaeton Stadium! I've coached there against Roentgen United enough, it's a tough place to play." remarked Head Coach Macarius Ransome.

Defender Ceslaus Goldsmith had even more pedestrian concerns. "I'm just glad to be back in Becquerelia. I never liked traveling. I just want to go back to my home, have a good home-made dinner and sleep in my bed. Not to say that Georgeonia isn't on my mind, of course."

All the players interviewed were quick to talk about how they were preparing for the Georgeonia game. Forward Ceolwulf Novoselic said he watched the tape of Emporer Pudu's last game non-stop during the plane ride home. Goalkeeper David Deneen was researching Emporer Pudu's forwards and midfielders. According to rumors going about the team, one player had contacted a psychic about what Emporer Pudu was going to do.

"We've been stressing preparedness. If we go out there as the most prepared team, we'll surely do better." was how Assistant Coach John Meurer.

Ceolwulf Novoselic has a more pedestrian reason for his tape watching. "The film being shown was some stupid comedy. I mean, who want's to watch that? I'd much rather see someone win, even if it's on a DVD."

Centrifuge Sports Match Prediction, sponsored by Xenium Technology:

There will be seventy thousand screaming fans, and they're facing a team that's had limited success overall. Becquerelia will win, 2-0.

Idine and Hekure Sala took the chance to record the broadcast of the Archregimancy. Being radio speakers themselves they are always interested in what radio speakers abroad do. Later they listened to it and their mood lowered more and more. What these blood-drinker thought about the Rejis was... insane! In their next "Today" show, they referenced to this much:

Idine Sala: Hejida listeners, this is Idine Sala,

Hekure Sala: and this is Hekure Sala

Idine Sala: And you are listening to "Today" on Radiju Rejistaniha.

Hekure Sala: Our first topic is of course the match between the Archregimancy and Rejistania.

Idine Sala: Yeah even the fact that the karelan party lost the absolute majority is not as important as soccer.

Hekure Sala: Indeed. Lets hear some soundbites.

Idine Sala: They are not ready yet!

Hekure Sala: Of course they are! Lemme try!

Soundbite: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!

Hekure Sala: wrong one, that was Manik Leti of the Monster Raving Loony Party of Rejistania. Another test:

Soundbite: It was a disgrace! Having to stand through this entire heathen ceremony where blood is drunken and flesh is eaten. In the figurative sense but still!

Idine Sala: What was that?

Hekure Sala: Jeri Kis was pretty annoyed about this heathen ceremony they were doing. he claims it was the reason for the nearly loss.

Idine Sala: Indeed, it was pretty annoying. If there is a better way to kill good soccer, i don't think so.

Hekure Sala: They are indebted! Their religion surely needs some tolerance!

Idine Sala: You did hear that they think we sacrifice virgins?

Hekure Sala: They did not say that! Tell me they didn't!

Idine Sala: Well, in a more figurative sense we do. The Tamama.

Hekure Sala: ...is a wooden statue which is burned!

Idine Sala: It symbolizes a girl.

Hekure Sala: Of course it does, but burning a wooden figure of Kamama is surely more civilized than well, eating flesh and blood - even if in a figurative sense.

Idine Sala: Surely! These Christans are cannibals! Fortunately Hinije~n I Teresil scored against them! Nice job for the right winger!

Hekure Sala: Indeed, There is a reason "maniac" selected him for the national team.

Idine Sala: Too bad Dmitri the Humble scored first!

Hekure Sala: I am sure the monks edited reality there! Maybe not willingly, but they surely altered the way the ball flew. There is no wind in a whale!

Idine Sala: I noted that as well. I wouldn't be surprised if they altered reality here, come on, who is not wanting for his team to win?

Hekure Sala: No one!

Idine Sala: By the way, if anyone here knows this thing called lent, which is what the Archregimancy makes such a fuss about, please call:

Jingle: The Radiju Rejistaniha Hotline: 0204 - 64 32 16

Hekure Sala: I do wonder why this is suddenly an issue, it wasn't 4 years ago!

Idine Sala: Or 8 years ago... I guess they use the heathenish RL calendar.

Music plays

Idine Sala: In other news, Jenji Karu sued the one responsible for the broadcast in the Archregimancy for indirectly calling her a whore!

Soundbite: Then there was the discovery that Rejistania had a woman on their team - our squad could only assume that Jenji Karu was a latter-day whore of Babylon since she'd neither been sacrificed nor burnt at the stake, which surely would have been her fate at the hands of her heathen teammates had her virtue still been intact.

Hekure Sala: That's tough! I guess they do not know the Kamama story to understand us it's such a beautiful story!

Idine Sala: They are just intolerant and do not even try to understand us!

Hekure Sala: And think everyone who does not have their approach on morals is a virgin-sacrificing heathen!

OOC: The religion of the Rejis is a kind of Buddhism/Shintoism with pacific elements

Golden Wolves Off To Fast Start

Game 1
Yafor 2 2 - Mr. Chuck Norris 1

THE ZYDRAKOS DOME, AJER, YAFOR 2 - The Golden Wolves were eager for something to happen. They were under a new manager, a foreign manager, Sarzonian Barry Owens, who had been touted as the next great Yaforite coach and team leader. With captain Gerod Flamer, a man whose career has spanned many years and is regarded as one of best players in Yaforite history, announcing his retirement will begin following the World Cup, and Owen's offensive style, great changes were about in the Yaforite sports world. This is and was their chance to prove themselves.

They needed to get off to a good start. They were at home, in front of over 200,000 Yaforite fans in the greatest of all Yaforite stadia; the Zydrakos Dome, whose slogan gave away it's most sacred truth: "Where memories are made". The Zydrakos Dome was indeed a place like that, a place where every single Yaforite who entered felt the weight of history bow down upon them, the great legends of the past, the great legends of the future.

Their opponent was a team from "Mr. Chuck Norris." If asked, the majority of Yaforites, indeed, nearly every Yaforite, would have no idea who "Chuck Norris" was. As indeed, as several publications would note, "Who is he?" was the response of 100% of pollsters in a recent poll on the subject. Nonetheless, it was this unknown who managed to score a goal in the 56th minute.

The Yaforite goals were disappointingly prosaic. Once again, the two Malar brothers each took home a point as Fernando did so on a cross, and Francisco did the same on a wide shot. They would make thier family, and their whole nation joyful, at a Yaforite victory, and at their triumph.

Game 2
Yafor 2 2 - The Belmore Family 1

THE BELMORE FAMILY - The Yaforites faced another momentous game; this was Barry Owen's first real test. The Belmore Family was a World Cup veteren, and, despite their dismal ranking, were looking for an upset, with their home fans bellowing, "BELMORE! BELMORE!". This would show Barry Owen's real mettle, what he was really made out of, and what he would do for the Yaforites.

To an observer from any other nation, someone who had casually put on the television and seen this game aired on TV, it would be nothing special. But to the Yaforites, it showed them everything they wanted to see. Barry Owens was worth the money. He was worth the sweat and tears. They watched as he charismatically brought back the Golden Wolves' morale following an AJ Lal 18th minute goal. They grinned with him as the Malar brothers scored in tandem. And They were pleased at his brilliance, and hoped, fervrently, that this year would be the year for the Golden Wolves to qualify.

-Excerpt from The Ajerite Sun.

Woodstock Daily Mail
Stars hope to put 'Legal troubles' behind them

by Ryan Calvin

WOODSTOCK (6 March 2006) -- Legalese.

All you have to do is say the name and a member of the Sarzonian national football team is likely to give you a dirty look or a wave of the hand. The particulars: A 5-2 loss in the early stages of World Cup XVIII qualifying that many in the Incorporated Football Federation still consider the nadir of the programme in the first Dave Wilson era.

Now the Stars are facing the third match of the first full World Cup since Wilson began his second tour of duty as the national coach against the same opponent who was his team's third opponent the first time he was a national team coach.

"It's an interesting coincidence," Wilson said. "We just hope the result will be a little bit different," he joked. "At least see if we can get a point [in the standings]."

One thing that's different about this matchup between Sarzonia and Legalese is the venue. In the infamous match, the Stars were playing away. This time, they're hosting the match at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock in front of their rabid supporters, who are expected to sell the match out for the 14th consecutive time.

"We're going to be playing in front of a hungry crowd," midfielder Jenna Raven said. "With our economy on the mend from the Panic, they're going to be looking for an excuse to get excited." IFF officials said they contracted with the Woodstock Police Department to provide riot police to prevent "an unfortunate incident" against the Black and Red.

"They're going to do the best they can, but it's going to be hard whilst the WPD have been largely responsible for preventing the violence that happened in the early going of this depression," Wilson said. "We've had to truck in security from Saugerties and a few Capitol Police." Stadium officials have said they will also bar alcohol sales after the opening kickoff for the match.

"It's definitely an unusual situation," stadium general manager Zeke Tolliver said. "We normally cut people off after the end of the first half and we instruct our venders to refuse sales if someone looks like they're inebriated. This time, we're going to have to take extra precautions." The stadium will also enforce a policy of ejecting anyone from the stadium who "preciptiates or incites the precipitation of violence," and Tolliver said anyone ejected from the stadium under that charge will be barred permanently.

"It's etched in stone in our policy anyway," Tolliver said. "That's just what we do. We're able to keep most people in line." Tolliver would not address rumours that he instigated the ban on alcoholic beverages from the stadium in an effort to keep Pacitalian-manufactured Blue Fox Ale out. However, Wilson denied that was "even in the works.

"The fact of the matter is that this was a measure that was undertaken with the safety of everyone in and around the stadium in mind," he said. "The political ramifications of the row between Sarzonia and Pacitalia are absolutely not on our radar screen. That situation is absolutely the last thing on our minds."

Bassett knocked on the door of Hobble's cottage once more, even louder than the last time. Where the hell was he? It wasn't easy to build up the courage to tell Hobble he was forbidden to play for Elrich anymore - you never really know how a werewolf is going to react.

Was he sulking?

Bassett put his ear to the oak door. Nothing. Mike scratched his hairy moustasche, where the hell could Hobble be? - he wasn't allowed out of the house - these were strict orders. The Elrichian manager twisted the handle, and amazingly it was unlocked. "I don't f**** believe it". It opened with a creak and Bassett surveyed the single room that was Peter Hobble's home. It was a right state. There was paper, overturned furniture and dirt everywhere. Ruddy hell this transformation thing must be painful, or maybe Peter already knew the bad news? Was that blood?

Bassett climbed over an upturrned sofa and clambered through the scrap yard of the floor - only a solitary oak cupboard in the corner was left standing. But where was he? The Elrichian boss swore again, heading towards the exit, maybe Peter was making his way to the airport already? Bassett made it as far as the doorway when he stopped suddenly...

What was that sound??? He froze, then turned again to face the room, deadly still, ears strained. There it was again....... and again... A murmuring....and it was coming from the cupboard.

Confused he made his way back across the wreckage. The cuprboard was a sturdy structure, and the closer Bassett got the louder the murmuring became. Was that a lock on the door? AKey was already in it. Bassett raised his sweaty hand and twisted......




.........................................................




Where on earth was Mike???

Dave Dodds checked his watch once more. The plane left in under 5 minutes, and Bassett was not one to leave it late.

Elrich returned from the infromation desk,

"Doddsy, there are no more flights scheduled to Valertinette before Wednesday morning. If the gaff doesn't arrive in the next couple of minutes, we're gonna have to leave without him."

This week was getting worse and worse. Dodds picked up his mobile again and dialed Mike's number. Ringing but still no answer. The Elrichian assistant left his 7th message of the afternoon and then dialed FA Chief Exec Bill Murray - what the hell was going on?

"The 15:36 flight to Valertinette now departing from terminal one"

They would have to go without him




........................




Dave waited for the lads in the Changing rooms. A hard-fought one-nil victory, and a 100% record for Dodds, not too bad for a stand in coach. Goalscorer Mudge was the first back in, Doddsy gave him a pat on the back.

"Is there any news on the gaff yet?"

"No, sorry", replied Dodds, "The FA are still trying to contact him. Maybe the pressure's just got to him a bit and he needs a break."

"Do you think this has got anything to do with Hobble?" asked Mudge.

"Well, all of the international spotlight can get..."

"No, I mean - do you think this has anything to do with the gaff visiting Peter?" interrupted Mudge, taking a swig of Lucazade.

Doddsy stared at Mudge in disbelief, "Are you telling me that Mike went to Peter Hobble's house???"

"Yeah, this morning. I bumped into him on the way. Why? Is this importa.."

Dodds was already through the door.



TO BE CONTINUED..............

HEROES
Episode One: Where There's A Will...

Sitting in the back of the team coach, Robin Spivey was chilling out and listening to his MP3 player.

"I, I will be king.
And you, you will be queen.
Though nothing, will drive them away..."

*CRASH*

Robin flew out of his seat, and blacked out.

--------------------------------------------------

"Here's a secret: inspirational music." A voice, in an accent he'd heard before but can't quite place, echoed through the wall of the....hang on, echo? He opened his eyes. Why am I in a toilet cubicle?, he thought to himself.

"...we can beat them,
forever and ever,
we can be Heroes,
just for one day."

Robin looked down at himself. He mused at the clothes he was wearing. It looked like a Krytenian football shirt; it was certainly made by JMC, but it looked....dated, somehow. He stepped out of the cubicle, his brain scrabbling to make sense of the situation. Then he caught his reflection in the mirror, the blue shirt clashing horribly with his big blonde perm. Hang on...perm? Since when did he ever grow....Blonde?!?!?!? What the hell was going on? Robin sudenly found himself struck dumb, which may have been a good thing when the next person came into the room. He was tall, his dark hair marked with flecks of silvery grey. He too, was wearing a Krytenian shirt, with a "7" on the front in yellow.

"There you are Colin, we've been looking all over for you!"

Colin?

"Come on, the new boss won't bite."

New boss? A memory flashed thorugh Robin's head. He was floating, no, falling, like he'd been pushed by an invisible hand, past the smashed window and Dave....He couldn't hold it in, and was violently sick into the sink.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, Colin, it's fifteen minutes to kickoff, this is no time for nerves!"

Colin?!?!? Somehow, that word seemed to welcom Robin back into lucidity. He walked into the dressing room, and to what appeared to be his - Colin's - patch of bench. He clocked the calendar on the wall. September 1996. No, that can't be right; he wasn't even born in 1996. The tall man stood and walked over to him, looking angry.

"Who are you? Where am I? When am I?" Robin regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. The tall man, in a heartbeat, had lifted him up and had him pinned against the wall.

"I'm Will Guarado, this is Elliston, it's 1996, and mostly, I'm 'avin you for breakfast. Your lah-de-dah Kingsford ways don't cut it in this dressing room, savvy?"

"S-s-savvy," replied Robin, clocking the captain's armband on Will's sleeve.

Today was going to be a long day...whoever he was.

RORDIA OFF TO GREAT START!
Tigers top despite setbacks

Rordia have started their World Cup 27 qualifying campaign with two wins from their first two games. Mind you, those two wins have come against two of the worst teams in Group 6.

First, they beat New Preussen 2-1. Tim Brick scored twice, before keeper Kevin Murray scored an own goal on his debut. The game was marred with a huge fight among Rordia's players in the dressing room afterward. Twin brothers Miles and Neill Hartley argued about the Rordian Football League title race between Rordic City Reds and Eisenhower. Things then got nasty, as the Hartleys came to blows. Team-mates tried to separate them, but they got into a fight, which ended with injuries to EIGHT players!

Their next game was a 1-0 win over The Footie Dream Team. Rordia were having a nightmare game, as Simon Vance and Peter Johns were sent off for fighting in the tunnel at half-time. Then, Brick suffered an horrific leg injury. On came Freddie Monaghan to replace him. Monaghan then got injured himself, but Rordia had used all their substitutes, so they had to play the rest of the match with ten men. In the 89th minute, Ciaran Mirren saved the Tigers' blushes with a goal from 20 yards.

Rordia manager Neil van der Wal said: "This is our third World Cup, but already we're on a roll. We're top of the group, but we have harder obstacles to overcome. Rejistania, Praying2God, The Archregimancy, they're all ranked higher than us. But we beat Tadjikistan last year. I can't see why we can't do it this year."

Praying2God are Rordia's next opponents, but the Tigers will be without Brick. The "unstoppable striker" has not recovered from his leg injury and cannot play.

To: Fr. John the Golden-Throated, the Archregimancy
From: Kansu & Kansu

Hejida Golden-Throated'he,

We are a lawyer asene in Rejistania and specialized on international law. Currently, we represent national player Jenji Karu Jinhes'tes. We are referring to your utterances referring to our client on the 15th of the Kamuni-month in the year 4281. Calling her a whore and doubting her morals was not only an insult but also highly untrue. She is part of the Jain minority which forbids sex outside of the marriage. We will prepare to sue soon.

In sign of Relekhakansa,
Ita Kansu.

Haraki to host Shing-Shang
From the Haraki News Network Print Edition

Daniel Wimbley, Atherlon. Haraki host group eight's lowest-ranked team, Shing-Shang, at Atherlon's Champion Field tomorrow. Coming off a convincing 1-0 victory against Obsidianus, the Hawks have been back home in Atherlon for a couple days practicing up. It looks as if coach Lloyd Vargas will be starting with the regular roster for tomorrow night's game, despite the initial changes for the game versus Obsidianus.

Vargas, when asked to comment on the game, simply stated "We're going to have seventy thousand screaming fans here, and we won't let them go home disappointed." Bold words.

Analyst Sam Sherman put Haraki's chances at 'good, maybe better than good'. "The home crowd will be a big factor in the deciding here. If they're cheering Haraki and booing Shing-Shang, that's a big morale changer. Also, given [Mike] Zendar seems to be back in the game, scoring the decisive goal against Obsidianus, and Mark Stone looks to be coming out of his slump. I think we've got at least a decent chance against a team like Shing-Shang."

The last team to play them, Spaam, resulted in a 1-1 draw, thanks to Colan Trebilcock scoring on his own net for the Spaamanians. This looks like a good and bad thing for the Harakians. For one, it means Shing-Shang's offence wasn't good enough to score on Spaam, they had to rely on an unfortunate accident to pull off a 1-1 tie. On the other hand, it means that Shing-Shang is lucky. Lucky enough for something like that to happen. One has to wonder if they've been stuffing horseshoes in their pillows.

Vargas had this to say on the Spaam-Shing-Shang game: "They screwed up. Spaam made a mistake, and they ended up with a tie. That means Shing-Shang didn't actually score. Tough luck for Spaam, but it makes our chances of qualifying better. Now go away."

Tough words from a tough man. As most of you probably know, Vargas spent many years playing for the North Susa football club in Susa, and still coaches them. In all his years, North Susa never scored on themselves. That should show you how rare it is. In this humble reporter's opinion, I think the Shing-Shang team is very lucky. They ended up with a point where they really shouldn't have. Shing-Shang's goal difference is currently -5. Haraki's is -1.

Interestingly enough, no team in Group Eight has yet won two games. Although only two have been played and Oliverry and Starblaydia have both had byes (and won their only games), it is still an interesting note.

I for one, will be watching this game eagerly. See you on the field!


Daniel Wimbley is the Haraki News Network Print Edition's leading football commentator.

Matchday 3 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10537948#post10537948) are now available.

[Note: The Kazoo Peoples' RP below *was* counted for MD3, and therefore should not be counted again for MD4.]

Ouch.

"Do you feel it?" asked local crazy person Donald McRonald to a 6-year-old shopper at one of our fine retailers "Forget Bed & Bath, This Shop's Beyond."

"Feel what?" asked the innocent little boy.

"THE BURN OF LOSING SIX IN A ROW! OH, THE AGONY! OUCH, THAT HURT!" The little boy fled, running off to find his mommy.

"Um, six, Donald? Haven't the Kazoos only lost two in a row?"

"No, the Draggonni Inviyatii. We dropped the last three games in that tournament, and now we've dropped three in World Cup 27."

"What? That doesn't make any sense."

"But it does! We lost our friendly to Milchama..." he paused for dramatic effect "...AT HOME! *Dun dun dun*"

"That's terrible! What will we do?" exclaimed a shopper, dripping with sarcasm. Donald didn't seem to notice.

"What we'll do is we'll fire Aka! That'll make sense! He's done terrible in this World Cup!"

"But what about Jim Johnson? He's been out with combined stomach flu and hernia. You can't expect coach to win with a star player missing?"

"Actually, I do. Our team is better than that."

"That... doesn't make any sense."

"Oh, but it does!"

A clerk picked up a phone and called security, as 32 shoppers had now stopped in the middle of the store.

"Can I buy him?" asked one shopper. "He's definitely 'Beyond...'"

Security escorted Mr. McRonald out the door. But not, however, without raising a point: What if the Kazoos don't qualify? We asked the Ministry of Sport what they plan on doing about the abysmal performance of the Kazoos. They released a statement...:


We realise our citizens' growing concern on the employment status of Mr. Aka. We assure you that he has been warned that any performance of the Kazoos under 6th place (out of the group of 9) will get him fired. That isn't the only stipulation that we have for Mr. Aka, however. The other details will remain secret, but keep that in mind -- we will terminate Aka if we see fit.


Now, recaps of the games...

Our first game was against Total n Utter Insanity, the top seed in our group. We lost (suprise!) in this one 2-0. There really isn't much to say except that Kevlar Shafur is better at stopping goals than Robert Barker.

"Shafur will be in all World Cup 27 games that Johnson isn't in for. As for the friendly, we'll probably try out Barker again..." Aka said after the loss to TnUI.

The second game was a game against Milchama.

"While not in our group, we set up a match with them because we didn't want to have our thumbs up our [bleep]es for Matchday 3," said Aka. "We probably should have stayed home."

And that would probably be the best assumption, as they lost to Milchama 4-2, Barker back in the goalie. Immediately after the game, Barker was fired, fined K$50,000 for "incompetance." Barker has allowed 12 goals in 3 games, "an atrocity," says Aka. Shafur will play in place of Johnson until he returns.

The first half was all Milchama, as they scored three goals -- all by the same player.

"J.J. Faren, what an amazing athlete," said midfielder Mark Perknowleski. "He really does a great job."

The scores came at minutes 13, 17, and 20. Second half saw the Kazoos make a run to come back, with Lampshade at 67, and Chadd Johnson at 72. But the door was ultimately shut with Marc J. Floren's amazing shot which was knocked in. 4-2 Milchama.

PROGRESS IN WORLD CUP 27:
MD1: loss to Algal states 2-1
MD2: loss to Total n Utter Insanity 2-0
MD3: loss to Milchama (friendly) 4-2
MD4: The Weegies, away
MD5: Risa-Aramour, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: Lowland Clans, TBD (friendly)
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away

THE KAZOOS IN CYBERSPACE!

Group 2

The Kazoo Peoples 0-5 Total n Utter Insanity
The New Chakovnia 0-1 Nanakaland
Algal states 1-0 The Weegies
Risa-Aramour 0-1 Tynelia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tynelia 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
2 Nanakaland 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
3 Algal states 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
4 Total n Utter Insanity 1 1 0 0 5 0 5 3
5 Bettia 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
6 The Kazoo Peoples 2 0 1 1 2 7 -5 1
7 The Weegies 2 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0
8 Risa-Aramour 2 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0
9 The New Chakovnia 2 0 0 2 0 5 -5 0

PROGRESS IN SOCCER WORLD ONLINE CUP
MD1: draw with Algal states 2-2
MD2: loss to Total n Utter Insanity 5-0
MD3: OFF
MD4: The Weegies, away
MD5: Risa-Aramour, home
MD6: The New Chakovnia, away
MD7: Bettia, away
MD8: Nanakaland, away
MD9: Tynelia, home
---
MD10: Algal states, away
MD11: Total n Utter Insanity, away
MD12: OFF
MD13: The Weegies, home
MD14: Risa-Aramour, away
MD15: The New Chakovnia, home
MD16: Bettia, home
MD17: Nanakaland, home
MD18: Tynelia, away

MDN Radio Two

'...leaving hundreds mentally scarred. Coming from the scene of the latest bologna-related incident to strike Tanguay City, I'm Violet Katrina.'

'...well, thank you, I suppose, Violet. I'm Chris Harris, and our top story again: In retaliation to derogatory comments relating to the Minutemen in the Jerusalem National News, McPsychoville coach Nate Webb has challenged the Jerusalem team, in effect, to put their money where their collective mouth is and play them. Whether the two teams are going to be able to schedule around their World Cup games is not known yet, nor is the Jerusalem coach's reply, but it's clear that Webb has done what most McPsychovillians would have in his place.'

'Just with a little less bloodshed.'

'Just with a little less bloodshed indeed Lucille. And now to hand back over to deranged report Violet Katrina, with yet another disaster report.'

'I swear, that girl attracts carnage...'

To: Fr. John the Golden-Throated, the Archregimancy
From: Kansu & Kansu

Hejida Golden-Throated'he,

We are a lawyer asene in Rejistania and specialized on international law. Currently, we represent national player Jenji Karu Jinhes'tes. We are referring to your utterances referring to our client on the 15th of the Kamuni-month in the year 4281. Calling her a whore and doubting her morals was not only an insult but also highly untrue. She is part of the Jain minority which forbids sex outside of the marriage. We will prepare to sue soon.

In sign of Relekhakansa,
Ita Kansu.


Dear Ita Kansu,

You are of course free to sue just as soon as you can send a lawyer into the Dreamed Realm. Good Luck.

In the interim, we would refer you to the relevant match commentary. We would like to point out that Father John at no point personally referred to Jenji Karu Jinhes'tes as a 'whore', nor did he personally doubt her morals. He simply noted that the Archregimancy football squad assumed she was a 'latter day Whore of Babylon' of dubious virtue. Stating that the team - of which he is not a member - believed this to be the case is neither libel nor slander, but merely reportage.

We would also refer you to Revelations 17:1-6
"Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and said to me, ‘Come, I will show you the judgment of the great harlot who is seated upon many waters, with whom the kings of the earth have committed fornication, and with the wine of whose fornication the dwellers on earth have become drunk.’ And he carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness, and I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast which was full of blasphemous names, and it had seven heads and ten horns. The woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet, and bedecked with gold and jewels and pearls, holding in her hand a golden cup full of abominations and the impurities of her fornication; and on her forehead was written a name of mystery: ‘Babylon the great, mother of harlots and of earth’s abominations.’ And I saw the woman, drunk with the blood of the saints and the blood of the martyrs of Jesus. When I saw her I marveled greatly".

From this I think you'll find that the reference to the Whore of Babylon was in any case meant metaphorically as to the best of my knowledge no one is claiming that Jenji Karu Jinhes'tes sits on a scarlet beast with seven heads and ten horns, or that she is commonly drunk with the blood of the saints. Though I will not rule out that people marvel greatly when they see her.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. John the Law-Giver
Synodical Office for International Law (SOIL)

Hejida Law-Giver'he and Hejida Golden-Throated'he

Despite the explanation, the case remains the same: Our client Karu'he was insulted by comparing her to a being which impersonates impurity and sin.

In the case of an inexistence of a legal system in the Dreamed Realm, there might be another way to solve the issue: Eneda Karu, husband of the woman in question has under rejistanian rights to challenge Golden-Throated'he to a duel in the ritual fight-technique of Kajiji. Until the case is time-barred, expect him to be challenged under rejistanian laws.

In sign of Relekhakansa,
Ita Kansu

OOC: I hope you don't mind me starting a bit of a rivalry here.

Press Release - EG Inc.

Soccer World Online Cup - Matchday 3 results

Once again EG Inc would like to emphasise the fact that World Cup is NOT affiliated at all with EG Inc. and these results are NOT from the World Cup but ARE from Soccer World Online Cup, played within the Soccer World MMORPG.

Group 1

Jerusalem 3-1 Collonie
New Montreal States 1-1 Cuation
An Archy 2-0 Kirstiriera
Atheistic Right 0-1 CR Oscilloscopes


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 An Archy 3 2 1 0 5 2 3 7
2 Jerusalem 2 2 0 0 5 2 3 6
3 New Montreal States 2 1 1 0 6 2 4 4
4 Druida 2 1 0 1 5 5 0 3
5 Cuation 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3
6 CR Oscilloscopes 3 1 0 2 6 7 -1 3
7 Collonie 3 1 0 2 5 7 -2 3
8 Atheistic Right 3 0 2 1 2 3 -1 2
9 Kirstiriera 3 0 1 2 3 9 -6 1


Group 2

Total n Utter Insanity 4-0 The Weegies
Bettia 3-6 Nanakaland
Tynelia 2-1 The New Chakovnia
Risa-Aramour 1-2 Algal states


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Nanakaland 3 3 0 0 9 3 6 9
2 Tynelia 3 3 0 0 5 1 4 9
3 Algal states 3 2 1 0 5 3 2 7
4 Total n Utter Insanity 2 2 0 0 9 0 9 6
5 Bettia 2 1 0 1 7 6 1 3
6 The Kazoo Peoples 2 0 1 1 2 7 -5 1
7 Risa-Aramour 3 0 0 3 1 5 -4 0
8 The New Chakovnia 3 0 0 3 1 7 -6 0
9 The Weegies 3 0 0 3 0 7 -7 0


Group 3

Eauz 4-0 Tanah Burung
Vilita 3-0 Elrich
Hiiraan 2-0 Valertinette
Qazox 2-2 Dorian and Sonya


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Hiiraan 3 3 0 0 5 1 4 9
2 Eauz 2 2 0 0 11 3 8 6
3 Vilita 2 2 0 0 8 0 8 6
4 Milchama 2 1 0 1 7 7 0 3
5 Tanah Burung 3 1 0 2 5 8 -3 3
6 Valertinette 3 1 0 2 1 7 -6 3
7 Qazox 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2
8 Elrich 3 0 1 2 1 5 -4 1
9 Dorian and Sonya 3 0 1 2 4 10 -6 1


Group 4

Sarzonia 5-1 Legalese
Krytenia 2-3 Lethislavania
Palacetonia 1-2 Revived Constantinople
Vuam and Isma 1-2 Rorysville


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Lethislavania 3 3 0 0 6 3 3 9
2 Sarzonia 2 2 0 0 9 2 7 6
3 Legalese 3 1 1 1 6 8 -2 4
4 Krytenia 2 1 0 1 8 3 5 3
5 Hypocria 2 1 0 1 4 5 -1 3
6 Rorysville 3 1 0 2 4 7 -3 3
7 Revived Constantinople 3 1 0 2 3 9 -6 3
8 Palacetonia 3 0 2 1 4 5 -1 2
9 Vuam and Isma 3 0 1 2 2 4 -2 1


Group 5

Crystilakere 1-1 Anathematic Republics
Spruitland 2-1 Tonissia
Dance 2 Revolution 1-0 UN Peacekeepers
The Solar Association 4-0 Nebuleux


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Spruitland 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
2 Dance 2 Revolution 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 6
3 Cataduanes 2 1 1 0 6 2 4 4
4 The Solar Association 3 1 1 1 5 3 2 4
5 Tonissia 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4
6 Anathematic Republics 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
7 Nebuleux 3 1 0 2 2 8 -6 3
8 Crystilakere 2 0 2 0 3 3 0 2
9 UN Peacekeepers 3 0 0 3 2 5 -3 0


Group 6

Rejistania 2-0 Swilatia
Praying2God 0-2 Rordia
Bazalonia 2-0 The Footie Dream Team
New Preussen 1-1 Popolus


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Rordia 3 2 1 0 7 3 4 7
2 Rejistania 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
3 Bazalonia 3 2 0 1 4 3 1 6
4 Popolus 3 1 2 0 6 4 2 5
5 New Preussen 3 1 2 0 5 3 2 5
6 Praying2God 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
7 Swilatia 3 0 1 2 2 5 -3 1
8 The Archregimancy 2 0 0 2 1 4 -3 0
9 The Footie Dream Team 3 0 0 3 2 8 -6 0


Group 7

Liverpool England 4-1 Rolatia
Turori 1-1 Yafor 2
Allied Anime Worlds 3-1 The Belmore Family
Mr Chuck Norris 4-0 TheSuncoastofFlorida


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Mr Chuck Norris 3 3 0 0 9 3 6 9
2 Liverpool England 2 2 0 0 6 2 4 6
3 Allied Anime Worlds 3 2 0 1 6 4 2 6
4 Turori 2 1 1 0 2 1 1 4
5 Rolatia 3 1 0 2 5 6 -1 3
6 TheSuncoastofFlorida 3 1 0 2 3 9 -6 3
7 Yafor 2 3 0 2 1 2 3 -1 2
8 The Belmore Family 3 0 1 2 1 4 -3 1
9 The Lowland Clans 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0


Group 8

Starblaydia 4-3 East Lithuania
Oliverry 2-1 Spaam
Haraki 1-0 Shing-Shang
Obsidianus 0-1 Priggdom


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Priggdom 3 3 0 0 5 2 3 9
2 Starblaydia 2 2 0 0 9 7 2 6
3 Haraki 3 1 2 0 2 1 1 5
4 Oliverry 2 1 1 0 4 3 1 4
5 Shing-Shang 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
6 Spaam 3 1 0 2 5 5 0 3
7 East Lithuania 3 0 1 2 4 6 -2 1
8 Obsidianus 3 0 1 2 3 6 -3 1
9 Wentland 2 0 0 2 5 7 -2 0


Group 9

Audioslavia 1-1 Ariddia
Commerce Heights 2-1 Chicanada
Kelse 0-2 Ocmeoub
Pedriana 1-2 Berner Street


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Ocmeoub 3 2 1 0 7 2 5 7
2 Ariddia 3 2 1 0 6 2 4 7
3 Audioslavia 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4
4 Commerce Heights 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
5 Berner Street 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4
6 Kelse 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3
7 Pedriana 3 0 1 2 5 7 -2 1
8 Nedalia 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 1
9 Chicanada 3 0 1 2 4 8 -4 1


Group 10

Hockey Canada 2-1 Majeristan
Casari 4-0 Harlesburg
McPsychoville 1-1 Magnus Valerius
Imperial Moose 0-2 Crna Gora Liv Eng


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Casari 2 2 0 0 7 0 7 6
2 Hockey Canada 2 2 0 0 5 3 2 6
3 Crna Gora Liv Eng 3 1 2 0 4 2 2 5
4 Harlesburg 3 1 1 1 4 7 -3 4
5 Imperial Moose 3 1 0 2 4 5 -1 3
6 Majeristan 3 0 2 1 5 6 -1 2
7 McPsychoville 3 0 2 1 4 6 -2 2
8 Magnus Valerius 3 0 2 1 2 5 -3 2
9 Kaze Progressa 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1


Group 11

Tadjikistan 1-0 Pastorvillle
Lovisa 2-0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Becquerelia 1-0 Emporer Pudu
Green wombat 1-3 Georgeonia


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Lovisa 2 2 0 0 4 0 4 6
2 Georgeonia 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6
3 Giant Zucchini 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
4 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 3 1 1 1 7 5 2 4
5 Becquerelia 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4
6 Green wombat 3 1 1 1 6 7 -1 4
7 Tadjikistan 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
8 Pastorvillle 3 0 1 2 1 3 -2 1
9 Emporer Pudu 3 0 0 3 1 8 -7 0


Group 12

Squornshelous 5-2 The Macabees
Schiavonia 2-0 Kericia
Apologetic Kittens 1-0 San Adriano
Jon Parkin 2-0 Spaamanian Plijous


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Schiavonia 2 2 0 0 6 1 5 6
2 Kericia 3 2 0 1 2 2 0 6
3 Squornshelous 2 1 1 0 7 4 3 4
4 The Islands of Qutar 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 4
5 Jon Parkin 3 1 1 1 5 4 1 4
6 The Macabees 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
7 Apologetic Kittens 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
8 Spaamanian Plijous 3 0 1 2 0 4 -4 1
9 San Adriano 3 0 0 3 1 6 -5 0


Disclaimer: These scores are NOT WC 27 Matchday 3 scores

OOC: I hope you don't mind me starting a bit of a rivalry here.

OOC: Not at all! While Orthodox in RL, I hope it's clear that I have a sense of perspective/humour as well - if I'm going to throw IC mud, I have to expect IC mud to be thrown back ;)


IC:

Dear Ita Kansu,

I can quite assure you that there is an extensive legal system in the Archregimancy. Orthodox Canon Law has been developing since the first century AD, and is rigorously enforced within our nation's borders.

However, there are four salient facts to keep in mind here:
1) Rejistanian law is not recognised within the boundaries of the Archregimancy and the alleged offence took place within the Archregimancy, not Rejistania
2) Travel to the Dreamed Realm is impossible without our permission - therefore attempting to enter Father John's monastery to serve him a legal writ with no legal force within our nation's boundaries strikes us as a somewhat misguided course of action
2) Father John the Golden-Throated rarely travels outside the boundaries of the Archregimancy. 'World Cup Tonight' is an in-studio production. Therefore Father John will be unavailable for challenge in Rejistania
3) The fact remains that your client has no case. We repeat that Father John did not personally accuse your client of anything. He merely reported the opinion of a football team of which he is not a member. Whether he shared that opinion or not is immaterial since his own opinion is not a matter of public record

We also note in passing that the most recent media report from Rejistania on the recent Archregimancy - Rejistania match accuses the Archregimancy national team of cheating by changing reality during the course of the match. Monks? Cheating? Yet no one in the Archregimancy is threatening to issue a writ for either libel or slander. One is reminded of our Lord and Saviour's injunction that only he who is without sin should cast the first stone.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. John the Law-Giver
SOIL

The Holy Oxen Pooped on the Wrong Porch
At least for us, that is.

Most Honarable and Exhaulted Queen of the Kingdom,

It is with a heavy heart that I write you today of the news that our girls fell to Qazox 2-0. After the two improbable results in the first two matches - and the extreme partying that followed, Reality set in today and we looked very much the newcomer to the WC scene that we are.

It really wasnt as bad as it could have been. The first half saw little effort made by our Unicorns to accomplish anything on the field. At least they came out in the second half to keep it from becoming a total rout.

Perhaps they will regroup in time for the next match against another newcomer - Valertinette

Your most respectful servant,
Neodar


Queen Sonya sat reflecting on the message. Luck had to run out some time. Shame it couldnt have lasted a bit longer. Now to see if we can find it again.

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif
Today swilatia has sufeered an embarrasing 4-to-nothing defeat by rejistania. This cannot be good news. It just can't

Swilatian players were fighting hard, but could not score goals because of the tough system karela defense used by Rejistania. however, we were surprised to see rejistania score so many goals, as the rejistanian team uses a defensive style.

Forunately, this is only matchday 3 out of 18, and Swilatia has the time and chance to take back its position. And we hope it will.

However tommorow will not be an easy day, as the opponent will be those religious wackos we all know as the archi-something err.. The Archregimancy.

OOC:L we are still open for request Tgs for freindly matches.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Telegraph-Today

Sports Section

Faren gets first hattrick as Milchama win friendly

That's not a misprint there as J.J. Faren showed what he can do as a center forward as he got a hattrick in the first half against the The Kazoo Peoples to lead Milchama to a 4-2 victory. Coach Jamie Smith said, "This was the turn around game. We won here and now we can go to our next game with confidence that we can beat teams." Now onto the match report:

The first half was all J.J. Faren as he got three goals to give Milchama a 3-0 lead. The first goal came in the 13th minute as Spot Nielson (the striker's switched places) gave a good cross in that Faren headed past the Kazoos keeper to make it 1-0 Milchama. Only 4 minutes later Faren got the ball right outside the box and made a perfect shot to give the Warriors a 2-0 lead. Finally in the 20th minute Faren made a absolutely brilliant corner kick that curled past the goalie in to complete his hattrick in under 10 minutes. After the hattrick the players got back in their right order and Faren went to making brilliant crosses again. Dunston Copperlee started playing well and almost scored twice more before halftime but one of his shots was stopped by a defender and his other shot went just high. The halftime score was 3-0.

Second Half Report:
It was a typical Milchamian second as they struggled early in it ceding the ball and tempo to the Kazoos. Then in the 54th minute the Kazoos almost scored but Clay Finton made a spectacular to keep it even. That shot changed the game around and the Warriors started attacking but their heart did not seem into it and the game turned into a stalemate. Until the 67th minute when Mark Perknowleski brought the ball forward and found Lampshade wide open. Lampshade to make the score 3-1. Only 5 minutes some more good work by Perknowleski gave Chadd Johnson a great shot which he scored to make it 3-2 Milchama. The Kazoos almost tied the game up again but Johnson's header was saved by a lucky Mills Thompson. After that save the Warriors started to go on the offensive and they began making headway with Kilinin and Flinters doing well on the wings. Finally in the 82nd minute they sealed the deal when Dunston Copperlee's shot was saved and bounced right to Marc J. Floren who shot it in from 7 yards to give the Warriors the 4-2 lead and victory.
Final Score:
Milchama 4 (Faren 13, 17, 20, Floren 82)
Kazoo Peoples 2 (Lampshade 67, Johnson 72)

Sea Dragons Smashed As Scandal Arises

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network

Yesterday our squad arrived in Lovisa for what was deemed to be a very important match for the Sea Dragons. Obviously Lovisa thought that as well. Upon departing the plane from Errion Vega, several key members of the ASMV squad were detained by Lovisan officials for "Diplomatic Indiscrepancies.

This meant that captain Evan Evans, Unami BantaN'bai, Pablo Iglesias, Malachi James, and standout keeper Shaun Conarky were all detained as ASMV's reserves dropped a 5-0 ass kicking to Lovisa.ASMV officials have issued a formal complaint against Lovisa for these actions.

An unnamed Lovisan official issued a statement declaring that the detention of Sea Dragon players had nothing to do with the match in question. As for myself, I find it rather odd that all players were released to their own custody within mere seconds of the match's conclusion.

MD4 will see the Sea Dragons return home as they will use the bye date to regroup and prepare for the next outing as Becquerelia comes to Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea. Hopefully all this will sort itself out in the near future. Now we must hope our squad gets composed for what is a very early must win match for us.

The following happened during half time in the Bazalope changing room.

Caine Hawdon - "What the **** is going on? This **** can't happen. We cannot lose to the Dream Team. Got that!"

James Kantwell - "Yeah, but coach What's happening with Pete? Why isn't he here. We all heard the announcement."

Caine Hawdon - "Let me worry about that, you just keep your minds on the Job. Attack, they have a weak left side. Exploit it. You hear me?"

"Benny Boy" Peters - "What if Elrich are keeping Hobble in prison not letting him leave the country? What if..."

Caine Hawdon - "Now leave that train of thought right there... Do not worry about Hobble gett your minds back-focused on the game. We need to beat the Footy Dream Team... I am not going to let this be another Collonie. And we are not going to be on the Bottom of the ladder. You know that will happen if we loose? Yes that's right. So get off your backsides and get to work."

David McMahon - "Uh... Coach. I don't like our kits."

Caine Hawdon - "Oh isn't this the whine fest... People would think you are James Gaines with attitudes like those. But yes... We are currently looking at potential designs. And we'll give yuou a look once we have all our options canvas to see what you like. Anyone would think that their goal in the 32nd minute."

There was a pause for a moment

"Anyway... You all know what you need to do. The've got a very poor left defense. You should be able to penetrate it even in your current state. So pick yourelves up and shame those cob-webs out of those things that you call brains a get out there. Alright what do you say?"

A non-commital "yeah"... came from the team... as the whistle blew it was time for them to get off the field. They never manged to score a goal. But at least there defense held up against the unranked team.

......

James Gaines was in his office... He was watching live BazSports coverrage.

He rang up Caine Hawdon on the phone..

"What's the problem?! Why aren't they performing?" he nearly yelled down the phone

"The team has extremely low morale, over the Peter Hobble situation... why isn't he here? We all heard the announcement from the WCC President and his absence is greatly affecting the team. I had a talk to them and they are all concerned about that... apart from David that made a comment about the kits. I told them we are getting designs.I think he was trying to pretend he was not affected by Hobble."

"Well, your job is to get the best out of the team... IF you can't do the job then get out of the kitchen."

"What?!" came the reply from Caine...

"If you can't do the job properly, leave so someone else can."
then JAmes hung up the phone...

Caine was thinking of what he could do.. He picked up his phone and dialed the Elrichian FA... he asked if he could dpeak to Mike Basset the Elrich coach... Mike was not in and so he left a message for him to ring him regarding Peter Hobble

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Fans of the Fighting Norris filled the streets of The Holy Empire of Mr Chuck Norris with cheers yesterday as time ran out in their most recent football match against their old rivals, Allied Anime Worlds.
(Newscaster mutters "how can a first year team be "old rivals" with another first year team?)
Here is the summary of the game:

Mr Chuck Norris 4 (Zach Brickhouse 25, Chuck Norris 47, 65, 88)
Allied Anime Worlds 2 (Gary Gabriov 21, 43)

Both teams took the field with bitterment in their hearts. The last time these two teams had met was in the Baptism of Fire, where Allied Anime Wolrds (the eventual victor of the Baptism of Fire tourney) had come out on top by a close score of 1-0. However, they did not come out unscathed, for a physical feud broke out when Chuck Norris of the Fighting Norris roundhouse kicked Allied Anime Worlds' midfielder Gene Wil out of commission accusing him of "telling him that a roundhouse kick wasn't the best way to kick a ball". However, those tensions had apparently cleared, but bitterness was still present in both teams regardless. The match opened with a quick charge by The Fighting Norris conducted a quick charge downfield avoiding acclaimed Allied Anime Worlds defender Mugen. The attack appeared to be going well, as The Burger King and OJ Pimpson were both open for a shot. Unfortunately, Allied Anime Worlds goalkeeper/robot Mahoro made an incredible save, apparently anticipating the pass to The Burger King from OJ Pimpson and his eventual shot.

Allied Anime Worlds quickly returned the ball to midfield, where a battle ensued. As seen in their last matchup in the Baptism of Fire, both teams' midfielders are very capable and successfully challenged the other team for possession of the ball several times. Allied Anime Worlds was able to come out on top of the battle when they led an effective charge downfield ending with a great scissors kick by Allied Anime Worlds newly acquired forward Gary Gabriov chalking up a score for his team in minute 21.

However, the Fighting Norris would charge right back down the field immediately after play resumed. Fighting Norris midfielder Zach Brickhouse athletically passed Allied Anime Worlds' Mugen setting him up for a perfect shot, which blew by The Secretary of the Incredibly Obvious Mahoro, Allied Anime Worlds' goalkeeper. This would mark not only the first goal ever by a Fighting Norris midfielder, but also the first goal ever against Allied Anime Worlds. Cheers rang out in La Estadia De Norris, the home fixture for The Fighting Norris as the ball went through the posts in minute 25.

Play continued with probably the most uneventful segment of the match, one team would rage downfield, get their shot blocked, starting the other teams downfield charge, which would be blocked and etc. However, one charge by the Allied Anime Worlds changed things when defender Mugen launched a ball downfield like nothing we here at CNN had ever seen before. It soared over the midfielders’ heads and landed at the feet of the Allied Anime Worlds' forwards. It was truly incredible, and critical to gain the lead for Allied Anime Worlds. For they proceeded to take that ball dump it off on their forward Gary Gabriov, who chalked his second goal on the day by faking out Fighting Norris goalkeeper Mr. Bednarik by faking left and shooting right. This would mark the seizure of the lead by the Allied Anime Worlds in minute 47, which would be their last.

Zach Brickhouse once again was raging downfield, but instead of trying to pass Mugen, dumped it off the Fighting Norris star player Chuck Norris. Chants of "ROUNDHOUSE" rang out from the crowd, which is exactly what he did, sending the ball flying past Mahoro tying up the game in minute 43. The half ended with the game all tied up; the fans were cheering like The Fighting Norris had never heard before.

The second half opened with even more midfield battles, neither team really seizing an opportunity to shatter the intense tie. The Fighting Norris occasionally pulled off a good attack only to be destroyed by Mugen. However, twenty minutes into the match, Fighting Norris forward OJ Pimpson concocted a shot on goal which was deflected out of bounds by Mahoro, setting the Fighting Norris up for a corner kick. Forward OJ Pimpson kicked the ball just over the heads of several Allied Anime Worlds players only to meet Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicking foot, which sent the ball into the net, ultimately giving the Fighting Norris the win in minute 65.

The remainder of the game was primarily the Fighting Norris defense doing all that they could to prevent an Allied Anime Worlds goal. The defense proved to be effective, foiling several offensive drives by Allied Anime Worlds. Time after time, Allied Anime Worlds’ forwards, Raye Sun, Sagara Souske, Vash Bullherd, and Gary Gabriov would charge downfield dancing the ball around the field only to be successfully stopped by Fighting Norris defenders Scottest Hovest, ♪, and Jack Moon. The onslaught continued for several minutes, with time running lower and Allied Anime Worlds’ choices getting lower. On what would be their last drive, Allied Anime Worlds’ forward Gary Gabriov shot an incredible shot only to find it supernaturally stopped by Mr. Bednarik. The crowd went nuts, literally shaking the stadium. Mr. Bednarik then booted the ball far downfield to the Fighting Norris midfielders who kicked it further downfield to the uncontested Fighting Norris forwards. Chuck Norris, while charging forward for yet another goal could be seen mouthing “You thought you could get a hat trick Mr. Gabriov, I’ll show you how it’s done”. I’m sure everybody watching this newscast can guess what happens next but for the mentally incompetent, we’ll give you a hint, it happened in the 88th minute, marking the first ever hat trick by a member of The Fighting Norris. Time ticked out and the crowd rioted as the Fighting Norris had just defeated the Baptism of Fire victors, Allied Anime Worlds by two goals. Kernkraft 400, a song by Zombie Nation (as well as the official theme song of The Fighting Norris) thumped in the background as the players exited the field into the locker rooms.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob Janney's only comment after the match was:
"Our boys are on the way up!" as he popped the cork off of a bottle of champagne to the squads delight.

Yes, they must be on the way up for in Bazalonia's Soccer World Online Cup, the Fighting Norris are 2-0-0, placed first in their region! We, being simplistic newspeople, have no idea if this is any indicator that the Fighting Norris are good, but any time that they're in a place above second-ranked Liverpool England, it sure make them look good.

On a more solemn note, we've recently received information that our beloved stats guy, Theo Retical, has gone missing. Little is known about the time up to his disappearence except the fact that he hadn't shown up to work for a couple of days claiming he was out with the "24-hour Bird Flu". If anyone discovers anything about his whereabouts, please contact us here at CNN.

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2 (Loss 1-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds (Win 4-2)
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Fighting Norris Record: (1-1-0)

I began typing this post before the scores of matchday 3 were released. Unfortunately, I posted it after the release of the matchday 3 scores making the statement "their most recent football match" true when I typed it, but false when I posted it. Same with the phrase "in Bazalonia's Soccer World Online Cup, the Fighting Norris are 2-0-0", which is also now false. Sorry about the confusion.

Haraki took the field in Atherlon's jam-packed Champion Field with their heads - and their hands - held high. The team from Shing-Shang, on the other side of the field, looked somewhat sheepish. Seventy thousand screaming fans, as Harakian coach Lloyd Vargas had put it, were indeed there cheering for Haraki. The team was not ready to let them down. With the original lineup back on the field after a mixed up game versus Obsidianus, Haraki was ready to win.

They received the kickoff, and Samantha Ribald tapped it off to Samuel Sharp, who took off running. The Harakians were ready to play a very tough first quarter, with their ultimate goal being the same as always: Score at least one goal, then sit back and watch the time count down. They maintained posession for twelve of the first fifteen minutes, and the ball spent eleven minutes in the Shing-Shang end. The Harakian home fans seemed to be going wild even this early in the game. No shots were made by Shing-Shang in the first quarter, and only two total in the entire first half.

Mike Zendar was playing a more supportive game this time out, passing more instead of taking chances to shoot. However, this led to a much more aggressive game from the rest of the players, with six good shots on net in the first fifteen minutes. At sixteen, Zendar received a short pass from Thomas Neils, and took the ball down the field towards the Shing-Shang goal. It looked as if he might finally be taking an opportunity to make a shot, when at the last minute he turned and passed back to the young and firey midfield Manuel Cortes. He was right in front of the net, with a perfect chance to score. He couldn't miss. The ball sailed through the air and into the right side of the net, sending the fans wild. Haraki had managed their much-needed one-goal lead.

Although the rest of the first quarter and, indeed, the first half, was filled with fierce and unending Harakian domination of the entire field, and many excellent scoring opportunities, as the forty-five minute mark was reached, the score was still a mere 1-0 lead for the Hawks, even in their home territory. As they sat in their locker room hearing reassuring but brisk and forceful words from Vargas, they all knew the kind of talking-to the Shing-Shang team must have been getting. And, as they took the field for the second half, Haraki was desperate to get another point to extend their lead. A win by one point would bring their goal difference to a measly 0, with 2 goals against in their first game and 2 goals for spread out over two. A win by two goals would bring them up to the category of 'good' teams, those with a positive GD. A loss or even a draw would keep them in the mystical realm of 'bad' teams, those with a negative GD. At the moment they were sitting on the fence with 0.

They played a fierce game, but the unending offence of the first half had clearly taken its toll on them. They seemed more tired than usual, with less accurate shooting and less time either with posession or with the ball in Shing-Shang's end. But even the best attempts for Shing-Shang to tie it up were defeated by Haraki's star defenceman Jonah Menike and Haraki's keeper, Mark Stone. The Hawks played a superb defence, especially given their added five midfields that could come back to give an eight-man defensive setup if the need arose.

One spectacular effort was stopped just as the shot was about to leave the shooter's foot by Jonah Menike stealing the ball, and ten minutes later a good shot to the top of the net was stopped by Stone, who seemed pleased with himself as the time continued elapsing. By the time the game finished, he had stopped seven shots, three of them high-quality. With ninety minutes done, the Hawks left the field beleagured but triumphant. They had only another 1-0 victory, even over one of the lowest-ranked teams in the group.

The fans left slightly disappointed at Haraki's win by only one point, but overall quite happy with their team. They were now two games won out of three played, with their next being against Oliverry on Matchday Four, still with the Hawks at home in Champion Field. There were no planes in store for them for quite some time. Oliverry, ranked nineteenth in the world and second in the group, would prove to be a tough nut to bite, let alone to crack. It would be followed by a game in Spaam versus the Waffles and then Haraki's much-needed bye. Vargas had promised an extra show for the fans during the bye, but had not yet revealed what it would be. Given the superiority of the other teams, some analysts were predicting that Hawks fans would be needing a sound victory over whoever they played Matchday Six, to raise fan morale.

Haraki 1 - Shing-Shang 0

Cortes (16)

Lion was furious with another loss. But this was no ordinary loss. It was the loss against their Baptism of Fire opponents CR Ocilloscopes. Not only did the Occilloscopes beat the Atheistic Right Archeopteri but they did so at the Natural Stadium.

The Cr Occilloscopes cope very well with the stadia's lack of facilities. If you could call it a Stadia. anyway they seemed to have an uncany feel for the stadium. Exactly how they gained the feel was unknown. But the consequences where the same. Atheistic Right lost at home to the CR Ocilloscope.

Any official in any organisation in Atheistic Right had some sort of ties to criminal organisations. As a result of such when the CR Occilloscope team where returning to the hotel. The bus that they had was stopped as masked men with automatic weapons caused the bus to stop. The team was abducted and submitted to days of tortorous activity. Eventually the team was let go after the abducters had their 'fun'. That will teach them to humiliate the Archeopteri.

This could be easily explained as crime was rampant in Atheistic Right. And some hodlums targetted the un prepared Ocilloscopes just to have a bit of fun. There would be no link back to ARFA or Lion... there never was.

On another front Lion's plans for the Soccer World Online Cup was going along nicely. Getting some hackers to do their social engineering as a certified CSR. This was just the first part of the plan... information gathering. He could not believe just how easy it was. OH boy was he going to have some fun.

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Hello all of you bored citizens of The Holy Empire of Mr Chuck Norris, as you all probably know the Fighting Norris' last match was probably the most uneventful of all time. For all of those watching who don't know they recently finished a scoreless game against TheSuncoastofFlorida, the first team the Fighting Norris have played ranked lower than them. Here's the summary:

Mr Chuck Norris 0
TheSuncoastofFlorida 0

Well... how can we do this... NOTHING HAPPENED! The whole game was plauged with basic concept errors and absolutly no offesnse from either team. The defenders had absolutly no challenge on either side, Fighting Norris defender ♪ actually slept on the field the entire second half. The Fighting Norris forwards were apparently burned out from their previous match against Allied Anime Worlds, where they notched 4 goals. There were no penalties and very few shots on goal. The game as a whole was a disappointment for the Fighting Norris, who hoped to notch one of their only wins against TheSuncoastofFlorida. That's all we have, so... back to you.

Wow... that was... really... uninteresting. Well, there were some semi-interesting scores around the tourney, we could provide our unimportant opinons on those. I guess we'll go with that:

Risa-Aramour 1-0 Algal states
The surprisingly undefeated Algal States, after beating a team 128 ranks higher than them (The Weegies) and one 148 ranks higher than them (The Kazoo Peoples), find themselves being defeated by a team only 30 ranks higher than them. How does the make sense... the world may never know.

Sarzonia 6-1 Legalese
The previously undefeated Legalese find themselves at the losing end of a 6-1 match against the unstoppable Sarzonia. I guess it's not particularly surprising, but it's high-scoring and one of the better matches of the day.

Dance 2 Revolution 0-2 UN Peacekeepers
The unranked UN Peacekeepers manage to grab a 2-0 win over 86 ranked Dance 2 Revolution despite being at home, one of the few of the bigger upsets of the day.

Bazalonia 0-1 The Footie Dream Team
Speaking of unranked teams beating ranked ones despite the fixture being the ranked team's stadium, it happened again when The Footie Dream Team pulled a 1-0 win over 112 ranked Bazalonia.

Allied Anime Worlds 1-4 The Belmore Family
The Baptism of Fire victors Allied Anime Worlds cedes another 4-goal match, which makes it three matches in a row in which they've allowed 4 goals, two in a row to teams ranked lower than them. They have yet to win a match. Does this say something about the Baptism of Fire?

Lovisa 5-0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Lovisa plasters Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 5-0 despite ASMV only being 41 ranks lower than Lovisa. This is a surprise blowout in our opinion.

So maybe the matchup day wasn't particularly impressive, all we know is that the Fighting Norris' match was awfully boring. We here at CNN know that next week's game against Liverpool England will be far more interesting, no matter how many goals the Fighting Norris lose by.

Schedule of The Fighting Norris for World Cup 27
Matchday 1: At Yafor 2 (Loss 1-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Allied Anime Worlds (Win 4-2)
Matchday 3: Vs. TheSuncoastofFlorida (Draw 0-0)
Matchday 4: Vs. Liverpool England
Matchday 5: At The Lowland Clans
Matchday 6: Vs. Rolatia
Matchday 7: On Bye
Matchday 8: At The Belmore Family
Matchday 9: At Turori
Matchday 10: Vs. Yafor 2
Matchday 11: At Allied Anime Worlds
Matchday 12: At TheSuncoastofFlorida
Matchday 13: At Liverpool England
Matchday 14: Vs. The Lowland Clans
Matchday 15: At Rolatia
Matchday 16: On Bye
Matchday 17: Vs. The Belmore Family
Matchday 18: Vs. Turori

Fighting Norris Record: (1-1-1)

((Jebus, 14 pages already! Just time to tag tonight, as the thread subscribe tool doesn't work for me.))

Yet Another Own Goal!
Episode 3: The No Show

Well…guess what…it’s Mr. Green Couch Man’s empty couch! Again!

“…a magnificent 4-3 win over Iberia CF. By the way if you are expecting news coverage on World Cup qualifying, we will quickly inform you that Giant Zucchini are not involved in this round. Nevertheless, we will quickly run down the other results in the group. Tadjikistan scored 2 against Pastorville while Lovisa controversially pummeled the ASMV reserves 5-0, with 5 ASMV first team players detained for unknown reasons. This puts Lovisa controversially at the top of Group 11, with 2 wins in 2 matches, 10 goals scored and none against. ASMV have issued a complaint, and I’m sure there are many others who may be smelling more than a whiff of foul play after those 2 home wins. Newcomers Becquerelia and Emporer Pudu held each other to a goalless draw, while Green wombat posted a 1-0 win over Georgeonia to leapfrog the Zucchinis into 3rd place. This means that the Zucchinis desperately need to win their next game if they wish to keep the pressure on the frontrunners and get into the coveted playoff spot. In other news, the Soccer World Online Cup has also given the Zucchinis a bye today, so we have nothing to report there as well, other than the fact that we are in a good position to do well in that competition, our representative winning 2 matches out of 2 so far. In other news…”


To be continued…

"OK, so we only lost 1-0 right?"

"Yes, that's what Johnny said. Even said we had the tie until, like, the 83 minute. Damn penalty."

"Then why are we being ranked here [pointing to this paticular Thread] that we lost 2 to 1."

"Isn't that some game within the game?"

"It better be, since I know we won over Pedriana and somehow we're dead last in this particular news...thing."

"Eh, boss said to ignore it."

"Sweet!"

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Home to Kodiak and Snow Leopard News

Kodiaks Does Good
Impressive Loss keeps Kodiaks in 2nd, Risa-Aramour gets debut win.

Eastentown - Chicanada might have figured out how to play well finally!

The Kodiak national side, comming off two nail-biting 1-0 wins over Pedriana and Ocmeoub, scared the dickens out of Commerce Heights. True, we still lost 1-0 thanks to a 84th minute penalty kick, but the Kodiaks surprised even themselves by outshooting the Capitalizts 26-14 and look like they have gelled just in time for a day off.

"Very extatic" Yerevan Malli said after the team arrived in Kinsington to a rather large (for Kinsington, especially since the anti-Milchama rioting finally subsided) crowd greeted the Kodiaks. The team is in the Embassy City to train at New Governess Palace along with a friendly scrimage with Governess Palace Reserve team before their next match against Kelse. Kelse is the surprise leader of Group 9 at 7 points, with CH, Audioslavia and the Kodiaks tied for 2nd...mind you, the Kodiaks have played a game more and are well behind on GD from the play-off slot.

Kodiak National Side Schedule:
MD01: W 1-0 v Pedriana (@ Moutainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD02: W 1-0 @ Ocmeoub
MD03: L 1-0 @ Commerce Heights
MD04: off day - plans for training in Kinsington
MD05: v Kelse (@ New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD06: @ Berner Street
MD07: @ Audioslavia
MD08: v Nedalia (@ Depot Centre, Cana)
MD09: v Arrida (@ Heartland Stadium, Goedi)
MD10: @ Pedriana
MD11: v Ocmeoub (@ BFC Pavillion, Bishop County)
MD12: v Commerce Heights (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD13: off day - training in Atens
MD14: @ Kelse
MD15: v Berner Street (@ Coastal Stadium, New Glasgow)
MD16: v Audioslavia (@ Southampton National Square)
MD17: @ Nedalia
MD18: @ Arrida

In Risa-Aramourian News

The Snow Leopards snatched a win today, as the home side beat The Algal States 1-0 at the Heartland Stadium in the Government District to give the team their first victory in World Cup play. The team sits in 6th at four points, thanks to the win over the then-top-team and a home tie (in the debut home game for the World Cup) with Tynelia. They also sit only two points out of the massive cluster sitting currently in 1st - four teams comming down to GD to decide the top slots.

The Risa-Aramour Press Corp released statements made by Peace Harbour (and official National coach) L'zian P'jas'sfia'sn said the side was pleased with its results and hope to continue to bring some success to the Kingdoms. Considering P'jas'sfia'sn is forced by Risa-Aramourian law to keep the team with 11 Risians and 11 Aramourians at all times, as well as a populus more interested in the Breakers and Crusaders (along with Risian)'s successin the Rugby League tournament, the CFA considers a top-5 finish to be excellent for the fledgilling side. Most experts in Chicanada, along with Risa-Aramour, however, are not as hopeful, expecting somewhere around 7th or 8th based on the team's collapse in the Baptism of Fire Regional Quaterfinals.

Woodstock Daily Mail

Black and Red? How about Black and Blue?

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Staff Writer

WOODSTOCK (6 March 2006) -- By now, the Sarzonian national football team must be tired of hearing about Legalese and how the Black and Red have the Stars' number. The players have talked about Legalese's 5-2 win over Sarzonia way back in World Cup XVIII even though only one player [forward Kenny Cooper] was even on that team. The Stars went a long way toward silencing the talk with a 6-1 thrashing of Legalese that seemingly established the Stars as a team to beat in World Cup play once again.

"We just wanted to get out there and play another statement game," Coach Dave Wilson said. "People have been writing us off since World Cup XXIII began. We wanted to show people that we're still a team to be reckoned with and we've got a little bit of fire left in us."

Legalese will hardly argue. Despite the loss, the Black and Red (2-0-1) are level in points with Sarzonia (2-0-0) in points, but the Stars have a game in hand and a major advantage in both goal difference and head-to-head result. The Stars also claimed a large measure of psychological edge from their dominant performance against the fifth ranked team in the group.

Sarzonia got rolling early, getting a textbook cross from midfielder Jenna Raven to Cooper, who easily headed the ball past hapless goalkeeper Ron Amarino just seven minutes after the opening kickoff. The goal seemed to stun even the highly partisan Stars faithful in the stands in spite of an economic depression that seemingly only just began to loosen its grip on the country.

"That goal caught everyone off guard," Raven said. "We just wanted to press the issue early and we were able to do that." And how. Sarzonia ended up going into the locker room with a team record 6-0 lead after the first half came to a close. The Stars got goals from Cooper (three before the 30 minute mark), Kevin Wilson (two) and Raven and didn't even appear bothered when goalkeeper Roger Treadway made a mental error that led to the Black and Red's only goal.

"That's one of those things we'll take now when it's not going to hurt us," defender Ridley Scott said. "We'd rather not make that kind of mistake against Krytenia with the group title or a World Cup berth on the line."

The way the Stars are playing, that talk isn't too far fetched, but Dave Wilson was quick to point out that it's still early in qualifying. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves," he said. "This was a quality win against a quality football side, but it's not the World Cup final."

Mariners Win at Home in Style!
Saint-Monica, KEL - The third match is over, and after a little over ninety minutes of play the Kelsian National Football Team has come on top with it's second win in World Cup football, pummeling Ocmeoub 4-1. The pre-game began with the usual display of anthems amidst a record crowd of 37,842 people at the Stade du Pacifique, and after the usual rituals and than the game was on. The Kelsians clearly showed their superiority over the Ocmeoubians at the beginning of the first half, which led to their first goal at the 13th minute by forward Mateo Ferraro. The crowd went wild, and the game continued with another goal that came from a corner kick in the 17th minute, by forward Julio Espinoza. A scare came at the 27th minute when Ocmeoubian forward Biron Geters, who made a breakaway past Kelsian midfielder Alejo San Marca, however a kick from the goal box was stopped with the head of defender Pilot Scantrelli. Almost ten minutes later, at the 37th minute of play, forward Mateo Ferraro once again shot one into the back of the net, making the score 3-0. At half-time, the game was pretty much over for the Ocmeoubians.

At the half, popular band Arrêté performed for the crazy fans, who enjoyed a ten-minute concert on the pitch. After a quick clean-up, the second-half began, with all Kelsian substitutes on the field. A rather boring half, the highlight definitely came at the 69th minute when substitute Kaseo Moreno headed the ball from a corner kick into the back of the net, scoring four goals for the Mariners. At the 82nd minute, Biron Geters of Ocmeoub scored by kicking when past reserve goalie Aaron Maro. At approximately 92 minutes, the game was over, and Kelse had won 4-1.

The win brought Kelse to the top of Group 9, right ahead of Commerce Heights, whom the Mariners will take on at home tomorrow. Around the group, scores were once again pretty predictable, with Audioslavia 2-0 over Ariddia, Commerce Heights 1-0 over Chicanada, and a 0-0 draw between Pedriana and Berner Street. Tomorrows matches, with the predictions next to them, are as followed.

Audioslavia @ Pedriana (3-0)
Nedalia @ Ariddia (1-1)
Berner Street @ Ocmeuob (0-1)

After talking with Coach Centino at the post-game conference, he said, “We don’t have a very good chance at beating Commerce Heights, after all their one of the highest ranked teams out there. Our best chance is to get a draw, hopefully we can draw… Our if we don’t, at least we can try to lose with a small score… but we’d rather draw. That would be good.”

Kelse will play its fourth WC 27 qualifying match against Commerce Heights tomorrow, which will be broadcasted live across the country on Athletica De Lux, channel 15 in the greater Saint-Monica area. Elsewhere, please check your local listings. Tickets for the game are sold out, however a fresh batch of tickets will be released at the following locations for M115.

Montrez-Maître - Brunswick Place
Caisse De Lux - Mail International

Tonight for now, and Go Mariners!

PALADINS OVERRUN CUATION

Villeneuve picks up two in 3-0 rampage

NEW MONTREAL - The Paladins midfield took control early on and never let up as NMS ran away with a 3-0 win over visiting Cuation at the Paladin Dome. The Paladins, coming off an early bye, looked well rested and disciplined unlike their lackluster first match. Apparently, whatever William Branstone did to improve the performance of his side worked wonders.

The game began auspiciously enough, as midfielder Jacques Toussaint picked up his first goal in the national colors at fourteen minutes in to put the Paladins up 1-0. Cuation held NMS off for the rest of the half, but couldn't establish themselves against the midfield, limiting them to only three shots in the first half, and only one save was needed by NMS keeper Paul Chasson.

Coming out of the second half the offense stepped up the pace a bit. A dribe deep into Cuation territory was repelled by two saves by the keeper Peter Seaman. Villeneuve took a pass from back Pierre St-Simard after the kick from the second save and converted it at the 63rd minute to put the Paladins up by two. Not satisfied by this, he then did essentially the same thing five minutes later, this time off a pass from midfielder Andy Gordon, to the hoots and hollers of 115 thousand people who turned out in no small part to see one of the most exciting forwards to play in a Paladins jersey perform his magic.

The Paladins hit the road after this, going to An Archy to play a nation that might be familiar from WC25. They don't seem to have improved much since then - but they could still spring a nasty upset.

PALADINS 3 - Toussaint 14, Villeneuve 63, 68
CUATION 0 - None

Tournament Stats:

Villeneuve 2
Pilon 1
Toussaint 1

"Good evening, fellow football fans, I'm Sam Sherman, and here is the analysis of Haraki's progress in this twenty-eighth World Cup. We're progressing well through the beginning of qualifying, with two wins and one loss in three games. This actually puts us tied for first place in the group with Oliverry, although they technically beat us because while they have scored seven goals and allowed one, we have scored two goals and allowed two. They've also only played two games, and thus don't have a loss to tarnish their record. Still, second place after three games is a good start. We have six points from two wins, and so does Oliverry. Second-place is East Lithuania with five, followed by Spaam, Starblaydia and Priggdom with four each.

"However, Haraki's placing is mostly due to the rest of the scores today throughout our group, in particular Starblaydia and East Lithuania's none-all tie and Oliverry's one-goal defeating of Spaam. Had Spaam won the match, they would be in first place with seven points. Had they tied, we would be beating everyone for first place, and Oliverry and Spaam would be behind us with four each. But East Lithuania and Starblaydia's game was the clincher. A Starblaydia victory would have put them up in first place with us and Oliverry, but they would have taken our second-place spot with their higher goal difference. An East Lithuanian victory would have given them seven points and placed them in first. Possibly for the only time all cup, our home fans can shout "We're number one!" although technically they should add a "but so is Oliverry!" on the end.

"One of the two top teams' reputations will be at stake next matchday, as Haraki and Oliverry face off in Oliverry. This looks like bad news for the Hawks. No matter how well they've been doing, both their victories were one-point leads over worse teams. Now we're facing the second-ranked team in the group on their home ground. It doesn't look pretty for the Hawks, but I'm hoping for a victory, and I hope our team will be in every Harakian's thoughts tonight. Prayers, for those of you who are religious.

"Oliverry's fielding a great team. They've scored seven goals in two games and only allowed one. Haraki, on the other hand, is two for two. In terms of GD, we're in fifth place, putting us squarely in the middle of the group. I'm worried about the Oliverrian offence. Seven goals compared to two? I'm worried that we just won't get enough chances to score to make the game a fair match. The ball will spend too much time in their posession and they'll get too many shots off for us to have a fighting chance.

"Good news is on the rise, though. I had Chinese food last night, and was informed by my grammatically-incorrect fortune cookie that one of my lucky numbers is 99. Conicidentally, that's the same number of rankings Oliverry is ahead of us worldwide. They're 19th, we're 117th. Wait a minute, that's 98 spaces ... Never mind what I just said. Irrelevant. Although I suppose since we're tied for 117th, it could still work out ... Whatever.

"Our beloved anchor is informing me that's all the time I get, and she wants to get on with her story about global warming and Haraki's nuclear power plants, so I guess this is Sam Sherman signing off. See you tomorrow night."


Transcript courtesy of the Haraki News Network.

The following in an excerpt from "Chronicles of the Federation," a popular newspaper in the Federation of Allied Anime Worlds

Fans howl over Federation performance

In the world of sports, the Federation of Allied Anime Worlds was dealt another stunning blow today, when underdog The Belmore Family crushed the Federation of Allied Anime Worlds in a 1-4 loss. Being unused to consistent defeat, the fans are furious, and there is no shortage of theories as to the cause of the slump. Explanations range from the team simply "cooling off" to accusations of sabotage.

"It's just a statistical fluctuation," insists college freshman and math major Aric Arind. "It's one of the most extensively studied phenomenon in sports. It's not at all surprising to see a team or player have an uncharacteristic string of wins and losses. Just give them time and they'll hit their stride."

"It's because the President dropped off of the team!" declared Placid Lun, high priestess of the Cult of the Empress and staunch member of the Imperial Party. "President Endymion was the heart and soul of the team, and that's the Empress' own truth! Besides, he's a total cutie!"

"Word on the street is that the colonel is up for a promotion again," reported a Lieutenant in the Magical Soldiers. "Right now she's more concerned about impressing the brass than that essentially amounts to a civilian side-job. Of course, Colonel Miyahama has almost always been up for promotion..."

"We think that sabotage may be involved," confided one of Raye Sun's undersecretaries. "Our victory in the Baptism of Fire really left a bad taste in some people's mouths. I think our new players may be involved, acting as agents for Atheistic Right or Mr Chuck Norris. We recruited Zelged Irinar, Rina Negative, and that Uten Tenshi specifically to strengthen our midfield, but it's as weak as ever. I don't know, but I especially don't trust that Tenshi woman for some reason."

But whatever the reason, statistics or spies, the 0-3 record speaks for itself. Something should be done. We managed to catch up to Chio Miyahama after today's game, for what little good it did us.

"No comment," the frustrated fourteen year old said as she boarded the bus along with the rest of the club. The Chronicles will be following this story as it develops. Our next game does not promise to break the losing streak, as our opponnent, Turori, is heavily favored.

The following takes place in the President's office. Chio Miyahama is present.

"Well," Endymion said jovially as he set the newspaper down. "At least the Chronicles managed to print an article about our team without something that was snide, wrong, or downright slanderous."

"There was that comment from the undersecretary," Chio pointed out.

"Well, so there is," Endymion said, looking at the paper again. "But at least the slanderous bit was a direct quote instead of commentary added by the paper. They'll be responsible journalists in no time. They are right about that 0-3 record, though. What's happening out there?"

"I wish I knew, Mr. President. I wish I knew why our midfield is STILL falling apart. Rina and Zelged are even from the same ball club! I wish I knew why our defense is falling apart, given how flawlessly Mugen and Yuki worked together in the past. I wish I knew why our offensive has collapsed, even when I put Shinji back in and restore our original BoF offensive lineup, we just can't score!"

"Maybe we're just up against superior clubs," Endymion said uneasily, already knowing why that was wrong.

"The Belmore Family has never even fielded a team before, and we got more than beat," Chio said. "That was a slaughter out there! Do you...suppose the undersecretary might have a point?"

"Maybe," Endymion conceded, "but only partially. Atheistic Right isn't even in our group, and Mr Chuck Norris has acted nothing but honorably toward us. Chuck Norris himself appologized for attacking Gene like he did. I believe that our young undersecretary is only repeating what he's been told by our very own Secretary of Defense Raye Sun," Endymion explained as he pulled up his keyboard and started typing. "I'm especially referring to Uten Tenshi. Colonel Miyahama, take a look at this," he said, turning the monitor towards her.

"'Ohtari Academy graduates,'" Chio read aloud. "But there's only one name there...and it's Uten's!"

"Yes indeed," Endymion confirmed. "The Ohtari Academy, established in the Federation Year 4112, about a hundred years ago, and they've only graduated one student. Once agian, Raye is right about one thing. Something is up with this Ohtari academy."

"What do we know about this Ohtari Academy?" Chio asked.

"I was going to ask you if YOU had found anything out from Uten. By all of our records, it's a perfectly normal boarding school, except for the fact that it offers classes from first grade all the way up to collage.

"Actually," Chio said thoughtfully, "I think I overheard Gene talking about it. He didn't sound too thrilled about the place."

"I want you to find out everything you can about the Ohtari academy without raising suspicions," Endymion ordered. "Start with Gene, and pry at Uten all that you dare to."

"Should I send some subordinates to investigate the Academy itself?" Chio asked.

"Not until we learn more," Endymion cautioned. "It could be a secret society, or a demonic portal, or a secret society building a demonic portal or something else bizarre like that. We've lost too many unwary young intelligence officers that way."

"I'd think that a secret society building a demonic portal wouldn't draw attention to itself by graduating a single student for the first time in a hundred years only to have her join the Federation's national football team," Chio assured the president.

"I left 'something else bizarre' as an option deliberately," Endymion said. "And oh, before you go, what exactly are you going to do about our team?"

Chio stood and saluted. "The same thing I always do - my best."

Endymion smilted, stood and saluted. "Dismissed, Colonel."

QAZOX CITY HERALD
R.I.P. MIKA RIYOK 1932-2011

Holy Ox Oxen XXVII Mika Riyok was laid to rest in state at the capitol starting at 8:00am this morning and will be there until 2:00 pm on Wednesday, where he'll be buried with full honors at Brickwall Memorial Cemetary in Fromburg.

In other news, Qazox finally snapped its slide by beating fellow WC newcomer Dorian and Sonya 2-0. The match was played before a sell-out crowd of 77,988 at Estadia Pika in Pika City. President Villia Ortiz Hernandez was in attendance as was most members of the clergy. The sombre mood lifted somewhat as Maria Gretsky scored Qazox' 1st ever WC goal in the 42nd minute. The halftime show was cancelled and a video-retrospective of Mika Riyok live was played on the screen. With their goal drought finally over, Qazox' offense looked like the one they had during the BoF as they constantly pounded the D&S keeper, but Qazox could only score one more goal by a returning Manuel Aguirre in the 76th minute.

Tommorrow Group 3 favorite Eauz will come to the SaxerDome in SaxerVilla the biggest stadium in Qazox. The President urged all attending persons to bring their oxbells and to make the dome rock with the noise of hopefully over 85,000 oxbells. Eauz has made short work of its first two matches winning 5-0 and 3-0. However, Qazoxian Coach Frank Fuller had this to say: "there's nothing like having to play in front of 85,000 oxbells. If'n you ain't used to it, it will blow your mind. And hopefully it will work on Eauz tommorrow"

Here are today's Group 3 Scores and Standings:

Eauz 3-0 Tanah Burung
Vilita 4-1 Elrich
Hiiraan 0-0 Valertinette
Qazox 2-0 Dorian and Sonya



Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Eauz 2 2 0 0 8 0 8 6
2 Vilita 2 2 0 0 7 1 6 6
3 Elrich 3 2 0 1 5 4 1 6
4 Hiiraan 3 1 1 1 1 1 0 4
5 Dorian and Sonya 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4
6 Qazox 3 1 0 2 2 4 -2 3
7 Tanah Burung 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3
8 Valertinette 3 0 1 2 0 4 -4 1
9 Milchama 2 0 1 1 1 6 -5 1

Results so far for Qazox:

Match Day One--@ Elrich (Lost 0-3)
Match Day Two--Vs. Hiiran (Lost 0-1) Attendance:17,000
Match Day Three--Vs. Dorian and Sonya (Win 2-0) Attendance: 77,988.
Match Day Four--Vs. Eauz at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Five-- @ Milchama
Match Day Six--Vs. Tanah Burung at SaxerDome, Saxervilla: Capacity: 85,000.
Match Day Seven--BYE
Match Day Eight--@ Valertinette
Match Day Nine--@ Vilita
Match Day Ten--Vs. Elrich at Rockport Field at Harborside, Rockport: Capacity: 73,200.
Match Day Eleven--@ Hiiran
Match Day Twelve--@ Dorian and Sonya
Match Day Thirteen--@ Eauz
Match Day Fourteen--Vs. Milchama at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.
Match Day Fifeeen--@ Tanah Burung
Match Day Sixteen--BYE
Match Day Seventeen--Vs. Valertinette at Fromburg Field, Fromburg: Capacity:78,963.
Match Day Eighteen-- Vs. Vilita at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City: Capacity: 79,250.

GREEN WOMBAT DAILY NEWS
Mika Riyok was an Ox-Lover and We got the Photos to Prove it (pg5)

Green wombat continued its early WC success by beating Georgeonia 1-0 at Estadio Hexagona yesterday. The only goal came in the 56th minute after a Georgeonian defenceman was called for a hand-ball in the penalty area. CMSgt. LeRoux took the penalty kick and scored on a brilliant knuckle ball that wobbled its way into the upper left corner. Despite having only scored 2 goals so far in the tourney, Vice Admiral Henry Ford is confident going into tommorrow's match vs. Tadjikistan one of the World's powers in football.
"I ain't afraid of not stinking animal be it a Dragon, Ox, Tiger, Wolf or Unicorn." V. Adm Ford was overheard saying going into his limo with what looked like some 'ladies of the night,' if you know what I mean. Tommorrow's match vs. Tadjikistan will start at 5:00pm once again to blind the Tigers hopefully allowing Green Wombat to pull a massive upset.

Starblaydia 0-0 East Lithuania
Oliverry 1-0 Spaam
Haraki 1-0 Shing-Shang
Obsidianus 1-2 Priggdom

Controversial pundit Ted Teddington was practically ranting and raving on "Sportsweek" as the highlights of the Wentland Week Off matches were shown on WBC-1.

"What is going ON??? Starblaydia come to The Garrison and score an easy four goal victory. I know we had someone sent off but surely the Starblaydi should have marmelized East Lithuania??? Now we've got to go there against a confident side and pick up a result. And a win is VITAL. Already we're losing ground on the other teams.

"And Priggdom. How on earth has a team that could not buy a goal in the Baptism of Fire against teams as lowly as them suddenly be WINNING matches?

"Shing-Shang. All they're doing now is playing 11 man defence after being slaughtered in the opening match. That's skewing the goal diff.

"Oliverry have shown nothing. Nothing. Yet they're top of the group. How does that work?

"I am deeply concerned about our match with East Lithuania. All sorts of odd things seem to be happening. Results are going against the grain all the time. It could help us. Teams have dropped unexpected points. If you're gonna treat the Starblaydia matches as nought from six then it puts pressure on the other winnable matches. But we HAVE TO WIN. Giving early goals away against the likes of Priggdom is NOT GOOD ENOUGH."

WARRIORS HIT RORD VICTORIOUS

The Praying2God Warriors moved to the top of the Group 6 table, despite having played one match fewer than six of the other eight teams in their group, with a 2-1 win over Rordia in the House of Prayer yesterday. The Warriors built a comfortable 2-0 halftime lead thanks to goals by Thomas Larson, in the 21st minute on a breakaway set-up by Kylie Holly, and Ashley Gore, in the 42nd minute off a corner from Kylie's sister, Christine. The Warriors gave defender Danielle Karlson and midfielder Sarah Tolliver some playing time in the second half, as the Warriors clearly had the match well in hand. Sarah Larson only surrendered a late-match goal on a possible handball on Rordia that went uncalled. The Warriors will now travel to Bazalonia before returning home for their two toughest matches of the first half of qualifying, with the other two teams predicted to advance from Group 6, Rejistania and The Archregimancy. The Warriors can't afford to overlook Bazalonia, though, as they will prove to be a tough test, especially as the first road match of WC XXVII qualifying for the Warriors.

The Isangrad Times

Ouch! McPsychoville Owns Magnus Valerius in World Cup Matchday 3, 3-1

McPSYCHOVILLE -- The Boyars well, had their asses handed to them as they played off against McPsychoville's national team. The game was going off to a good start. George Illyanich, "Jersey Numero Uno", the "Tower of Power", star player of the Boyars on the team, made an early goal at the 16th minute. Gustav Sibel, the goalkeeper, withstood the pressure McPsychoville put up early in the game.

Things changed in the second half.

It seems that, in the hopes of not being humiliated by an inexperienced team, the players of McPsychoville charged and scored multiple goals in the 56th, 63rd, and 69th minutes, by Matvichuk, Lee, and Matvichuk again (respectively). The Boyars tried frantically to get in goals, but the defensive line of McPsychoville blocked any further attempts by the members of the team to score more goals. Ilya Pavlov, the coach, looked on nervously as George Illyanich fumbled an easy goal. Pavlov, whose name has lent the team's nickname of "Pavlov's Dogs", could only hope to take this experience and then use it to shape the national team for the next World Cup. It is pretty clear that, with the team so inexperienced on the world stage, qualifying is a slim chance.

In the end, it was only humiliating for Magnus Valerius to have their well-planned defense break down under the pressure of McPsychoville and their skilled striker, Wade Matvichuk (#10). The team tomorrow faces off versus Crna Gora Liv Eng in Isangrad at the Tsar's Dome, the best facility for football in the empire. We hope that the team will win, and we hope we won't end up being humiliated once again.

SCORING:

McPsychoville: 3 Goals

W. Matvichuk (#10) - 56th
D. Lee (#19) - 63rd
W. Matvichuk (#10) - 69th

Magnus Valerius: 1 Goal

G. Illyanich (#1) - 16th

GROUP TEN

Hockey Canada 4-1 Majeristan
Casari 0-1 Harlesburg
McPsychoville 3-1 Magnus Valerius
Imperial Moose 0-0 Crna Gora Liv Eng

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Hockey Canada 2 2 0 0 5 1 4 6
2 McPsychoville 3 2 0 1 6 3 3 6
3 Majeristan 3 2 0 1 6 5 1 6
4 Harlesburg 3 1 1 1 2 2 0 4
5 Imperial Moose 3 1 1 1 3 4 -1 4
6 Kaze Progressa 2 1 0 1 3 1 2 3
7 Casari 2 1 0 1 3 1 2 3
8 Magnus Valerius 3 0 1 2 1 6 -5 1
9 Crna Gora Liv Eng 3 0 1 2 1 7 -6 1


MD01: Casari v. Magnus Valerius L 3 - 0
MD02: Magnus Valerius v. Harlesburg T 0 - 0
MD03: McPsychoville v. Magnus Valerius L 3 - 1
MD04: Magnus Valerius v. Crna Gora Liv Eng @ Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD
MD05: Hockey Canada v. Magnus Valerius
MD06: Magnus Valerius v. Kaze Progressa @ Nikeah Bowl, NIKEAH
MD07: Majeristan v. Magnus Valerius
MD08: Magnus Valerius v. Imperial Moose @ Seaside Dome, ALEXANDRIA
MD09: Free Day
MD10: Magnus Valerius v. Casari @ Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD
MD11: Harlesburg v. Magnus Valerius
MD12: Magnus Valerius v. McPsychoville @ Nikeah Bowl, NIKEAH
MD13: Crna Gora Liv Eng v. Magnus Valerius
MD14: Magnus Valerius v. Hockey Canada @ Seaside Dome, ALEXANDRIA
MD15: Kaze Progressa v. Magnus Valerius
MD16: Magnus Valerius v. Majeristan @ Tsar's Area, ISANGRAD
MD17: Imperial Moose v. Magnus Valerius
MD18: Free Day

Rolatia thumped, Ford to be extradited?
The Terminators thrashed Rolatia 6-0 at home to a record low attendance of 14,691 at Grovers Park - about 10% of the stadium's capacity - as many people stayed at home to watch the unfolding drama and controversy surrounding Schiavone Football Federation chief Michael Ford, who has been charged in Schiavonia with stalking a San Adriano princess.

36,000 tickets were sold for the match, another record low, and the number of people who turned up relative to ticket holders broke yet another record. Ford is likely to be extradited to Liverpool England after a court in Orean and a Regional court for the Southern Desert Region both ordered his extradition.

Meanwhile, Crna Gora Liv Eng picked up their first-ever World Cup point in a goalless draw against Imperial Moose, but they remain rock bottom of Group 10.

The Red and Black Attack is Back

(god what a terrible headline)

The Pschychoes score eight goals in two matches for the Group 12 lead
Squornshelous has really come out of the gate strongly, winning their first two matches, both of them against fairly good teams. After their bye, Matchday 2 saw the Pschychoes going to face a very talented, but not necessarily experience side from The Islands of Qutar. Mostafa Ogbadan scored twice, and Iannis Xenakis put the match away late, with the first goal of his international career for a three to one scoreline.
One matchday later, the Pschychoes took the field at the brand new Vogsphere Arena to the roar of a quarter of a million rabid fans. The team they faced were no strangers to the World Cup. The Macabees have participated in several qualifying efforts, and have proven their ability to consistently finish in the top half of their groups. While their luck hasn't been so good when it comes to actually qualifying, they are still not a team to take lightly. With this in mind, the Pschychoes kept focused and put on a clinic. Ogbadan racked up his first hat trick of the cup, and Xenakis and Petrov scored as well. Backup keeper Timothy Purcell allowed one goal, but it couldn't take the shine out of a fantastic 5-1 win.

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws byes
MD01: bye
MD02: The Islands of Qutar 1-3 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 5-1 The Macabees
MD04: Jon Parkin v Squornshelous
MD05: Squornshelous v San Adriano
MD06: Schiavonia v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v Kericia
MD08: Apologetic Kittens v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Spaamanian Plijous
MD10: bye
MD11: Squornshelous v The Islands of Qutar
MD12: The Macabees v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Jon Parkin
MD14: San Adriano v Squornshelous
MD15: Squornshelous v Schiavonia
MD16: Kericia v Squornshelous
MD17: Squornshelous v Apologetic Kittens
MD18: Spaamanian Plijous v Squornshelous

Islanders fall at tough hurdle

Despite the advantage of playing this fixture at the Estadio Nacional in front a full crowd the islanders failed to make an impact with Crystilakere dominating the first half and going 2-0 up before the break, However the islander came out after th brak and for 30 minutes pushed the opposition back and managed to earn two goals by Souletano from set pieces. However Crystilakere struck back in the 79th and 89th minute to secure a 4-2 win.

The Islanders have to now wait till matchday four where they face the Anathematic Rep in an away fixture.

More Bore Draws Keep Kittens Competitive

After three consecutive draws in World Cup qualifying you could forgive the Kittens for feelng slightly annoyed. They seem to have lost that edge from the last campaign, with opponents knowing what to expect from the team, despite several changes over the past few years.

And so we get the news that Wilson has been given two matches to claim a win for the Kittens, or face losing his job.

Some would say this is unfair. He guided the Kittens to third in the BoF, took them on a succesful CoH run, and masterminded a late surge in qualifying last time round. But this year it's all going wrong for him. Every team seems equal to his strategies, and wins are rare.

No worse than expected

It was the match they were bracing themselves for, expecting it to be one of the most difficult they would have to face. The Rouge-et-Noirs travelled today to Audioslavia, to take on the group’s highest-ranked team on its home ground.

With a loss fully expected, Ariddia nonetheless maintained its usual 3-4-3 formation, and concentred most its efforts on attack. Adam Seul chose to field Wol Eosh among the starting eleven, a move which was no doubt not coincidental, and which drew cheers from Ariddian supporters in the stadium. Eosh had been prevented from participating in the two nations’ previous encounter in Audioslavia, due to having been controversially detained by immigration.

The Rouge-et-Noirs, fuelled by an energetic performance of the ulek, and despite their best efforts, failed to score a goal, but conceded only two – a performance deemed “satisfactory” by their coach. Additionally, a goal scored by Ta I for Ariddia in the seventy-fourth minute was (rightfully) disallowed due to an offside.

“We didn’t come here really expecting anything,” Clément later explained. “Of course, we’re a little disappointed all the same, but we didn’t do badly. And now we can focus on games which we have a real chance of winning.”

Pops have draw again.

Rejistania 2-0 Swilatia
Praying2God 0-2 Rordia
Bazalonia 2-0 The Footie Dream Team
New Preussen 1-1 Popolus

Code:
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Rordia 3 2 1 0 7 3 4 7
2 Rejistania 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
3 Bazalonia 3 2 0 1 4 3 1 6
4 Popolus 3 1 2 0 6 4 2 5
5 New Preussen 3 1 2 0 5 3 2 5
6 Praying2God 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
7 Swilatia 3 0 1 2 2 5 -3 1
8 The Archregimancy 2 0 0 2 1 4 -3 0
9 The Footie Dream Team 3 0 0 3 2 8 -6 0

The team is hanging on, the boys are still hoping for the best, becouse thay havent lost yet. They are confident and will play hard untill the end.
They are now preparing for more complicated games in the future, there are some hard opponents waiting in the world cup line.

"This world cup is the best thing that ever happened to us" said RB Kate John, 28.

"we were working hard out there on the field, but we just couldnt strike that one more goal" said RF Pete Tour, 27.

The GM Joe Bucket had to visit his mountain resort and chill his nerves, becouse he was walking on the borders of sanity during the 3rd match.

Mike Kolowski said "if i was coach of this team i would make some changes in the strategy."

Mel Hines head coach answered: " you just help me win the next game i have all the strings ni my hands and i kow how to pull them! - the strategy was worked out long time before you were born. Just help me and togeather we will make this team better."

"Now is time to pull the team togeather and do something" said CM Kris Zoe.

Kid Glow- PR Director

Green wombat 1-0 Georgeonia

Welcome back to your regular OXRO News station with me Otto Chipperfield, back after 3 weeks away on strike action! Now once again broadcasting across the nation, around the clock. Suffice to say we are all now significantly richer and have enjoyed our unofficial 3 week holiday, you've probably noticed my attractive tan. Anyway OXRO would like to appologise for any inconvienience caused, but we're sure you the people of Georgeonia appreciate our struggle for fair pay and working conditions and don't think we're a bunch of self-serving coercive freeloaders as some undergroung DJ's i won't mention seem to. Anyway, on to last night's game in which our brave lads were looking to build on their great success against Pastorville with a decent result against the perculiarly named Green Wombat. The short story is that we lost. The slightly longer story is that they are a bunch of whining cheats who wouldn't know fair play if it kidnapped their grandmother's socks. Cynical calls for a penalty in the first half were accepted by a referee who barely seemed to know what sport he was watching, and despite some brave second half attacking, combined with a depressing and lackluster performance from our opponents we just couldn't get that crucial goal to get us back into the game. Our coach Cap'n Bob is reportedly eagerly awaiting the rematch, and our players are all to be issued with specially sharpened studs for the occasion. The "result" leaves our boys in seventh place in the group, so lets hope for better things to come soon. For OXRO news, this is Otto Chipperfield saying good night Georgeonia, and remember, when there's news to report, we report the news.

Pops have draw again.

Rejistania 2-0 Swilatia
Praying2God 0-2 Rordia
Bazalonia 2-0 The Footie Dream Team
New Preussen 1-1 Popolus

Code:
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Rordia 3 2 1 0 7 3 4 7
2 Rejistania 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
3 Bazalonia 3 2 0 1 4 3 1 6
4 Popolus 3 1 2 0 6 4 2 5
5 New Preussen 3 1 2 0 5 3 2 5
6 Praying2God 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
7 Swilatia 3 0 1 2 2 5 -3 1
8 The Archregimancy 2 0 0 2 1 4 -3 0
9 The Footie Dream Team 3 0 0 3 2 8 -6 0

The team is hanging on, the boys are still hoping for the best, becouse thay havent lost yet. They are confident and will play hard untill the end.
They are now preparing for more complicated games in the future, there are some hard opponents waiting in the world cup line.

"This world cup is the best thing that ever happened to us" said RB Kate John, 28.

"we were working hard out there on the field, but we just couldnt strike that one more goal" said RF Pete Tour, 27.

The GM Joe Bucket had to visit his mountain resort and chill his nerves, becouse he was walking on the borders of sanity during the 3rd match.

Mike Kolowski said "if i was coach of this team i would make some changes in the strategy."

Mel Hines head coach answered: " you just help me win the next game i have all the strings ni my hands and i kow how to pull them! - the strategy was worked out long time before you were born. Just help me and togeather we will make this team better."

"Now is time to pull the team togeather and do something" said CM Kris Zoe.

Kid Glow- PR Director

OOC: Popolus... Those scores and Tables that you use.... Are not the real proper WC scores... The WC scores have their own thread http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=471656

My posts in this thread that contain scores are not the proper world cup scores but are scores from an IC online game. Sorry for any confusion

Jeruselem Government News

No more Honeymoon for Group 1 rookies

GROUP ONE
Jeruselem 4-1 Collonie
New Montreal States 3-0 Cuation
An Archy 2-1 Kirstiriera
Atheistic Right 1-2 CR Oscilloscopes


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 New Montreal States 2 2 0 0 4 0 4 6
2 Cuation 3 2 0 1 4 5 -1 6
3 An Archy 3 1 2 0 4 3 1 5
4 Jeruselem 2 1 1 0 5 2 3 4
5 Druida 2 1 1 0 2 1 1 4
6 Collonie 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
7 CR Oscilloscopes 3 1 0 2 2 4 -2 3
8 Atheistic Right 3 0 1 2 2 4 -2 1
9 Kirstiriera 3 0 0 3 2 5 -3 0


OK, kiddies. Jeruselem has woken up. Group 1 hopeful Collonie took Jeruselem and got knocked out cold. Jeruselem won 4-1 and got it's first win in the Group, pushing it to 4th on the table. Yes, a rusty start against Druida but 14th seed mean business now.

New Montreal States had a good rest on MD2 and gave early leader Cuation a hiding. They won 3-0 and pushed Cuation back to 2nd taking the lead for Group one. The states like Jeruselem meant business and took no prisoners.

An Archy finally scored a win, against floormat Kirstiriera. A 2-1 win, and they are 3rd with Jeruselem right behind them. They are undefeated so far like the state and Jeruselem as well. Two draws have helped, better than losses.

CR Oscilloscopes took on some athiests ... and won. Atheistic Right lost 1-2 are still stuck on one point. Kirstiriera are stuck on zero points.

3 points separate 1st and 7th but Druida and Jeruselem have their bye, so it is not reflective of the real team form. The rookies are making an impact as the big teams have byes.

...

GROUP NINE
Audioslavia 2-0 Ariddia
Commerce Heights 1-0 Chicanada
Kelse 4-1 Ocmeoub
Pedriana 0-0 Berner Street

The Lions have a rest. No shockers in Group 9 but Chicanada lost 0-1 to Commerce Heights in a gripping game.

...

GROUP TEN
Hockey Canada 4-1 Majeristan
Casari 0-1 Harlesburg
McPsychoville 3-1 Magnus Valerius
Imperial Moose 0-0 Crna Gora Liv Eng

Canuck power! Majeristan ran into brick wall called Hockey Canada, losing 1-4. So far, the top seed in group 10 is not being troubled. Harlesburg knocked over Casari 1-0 to get back to form after bad start. McPsychoville went Psycho against the roman sounding Magnus Valerius (3-1). And other NIL ALL draw too.

...

Liverpool England 6-0 Rolatia
SCARY? Terminated ...

The Enlightener - 7th March 2006 - Like a fungal jungle[/u]
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

Aroras Cause Major Upset

BETTIA 4 (York 8, Hunter 37, Warlow 58, Alasanne 89)
Nanakaland 0

The entire Blessed Realm is in shock, and a little bit outraged, today after the Aroras' 4-0 win over Nanakaland.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the lads won and scored a shedload of goals to boot," said one man on the street. "but what happened to 'We don't do defence, we trash defence'?", referring to manager Stuart Abdul-Rahim's new ultra-attacking credo. "We can't keep wibbling on about all-out attack whilst keeping clean sheets like this - it just ain't cricket."

Following on from their opening day victory against New Chakovnia, the Aroras arrived in Sukatra after a well-earned day off and were quickly in their stride against the 'Nakas. Hypocria-based striker Judson York opened the scoring on eight minutes, bursting through a static defence to coolly slot the ball under the keeper.

Bettia barely got out of second gear throughout the entire match, with the visitors offering very little in attacking play with the Aroras virtually camped in their half. Latif Hunter scored Bettia's second after 37 minutes, volleying home in the penalty area after Warlow's corner was only partially cleared.

The Gabalfa City midfielder added his own name to the scoresheet shortly after the break, rifling in a free-kick from 25 yards after a slightly iffy handball decision, and substitue Brennan Alasanne capped off a fine Aroras show with a last minute header.

Group Two currently sees three teams tied on six points, but rather telllingly, only Bettia and favourites Total n Utter Insanity boast 100% records. Next up for Bettia is a potentially tricky away tie at mid-table Tynelia, who currently have a 1-1-1 record. This defensively-minded team has only conceded one goal so far in their three games, so the Aroras' front five will have to work hard to get the early breakthrough they need.


MD01: BETTIA 4-2 The New Chakovnia (Shubunkin Park, Akani Sands)
MD02: Day Off
MD03: BETTIA 4-0 Nanakaland (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD04: Tynelia vs BETTIA
MD05: BETTIA vs Algal States (Thamitra Gate, Tamrida)
MD06: Total n Utter Insanity vs BETTIA
MD07: BETTIA vs The Kazoo Peoples (Heol Angharyd, Ceffinton)
MD08: The Weegies vs BETTIA
MD09: BETTIA vs Risa-Aramour (Stamping Ground, Lorshill)
MD10: The New Chakovnia vs BETTIA
MD11: Day Off
MD12: Nanakaland vs BETTIA
MD13: BETTIA vs Tynelia (Campus Ground, Grappenhall)
MD14: Algal States vs BETTIA
MD15: BETTIA vs Total n Utter Insanity (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD16: The Kazoo Peoples vs BETTIA
MD17: BETTIA vs The Weegies (Docklands Park, Porthbalfa)
MD18: Risa-Aramour vs BETTIA

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2724/sbc22la.gif

Todays match will be aginst the religious wackos we all know and hate. That's right, its The Archregimancy. whydidtheyhavetomakethenamesolong?

Their team is also tough, but at least they are less tough, so we actually have a chance of winning against these religious wackos. And that is something we hope to do.

Also, tommoriw will be a bye day for us, and we have not yet chosen our freindly opponenents. So just send those requests to the Swilatian National Football Team.

Cuation Fall Second Best.

Kirstiriera was our second game and the Cuation team had many fans come with them. The score would be 2-1 but the match could hardly be called close, the relaxed attitude of Cuation allowing Kirstiriera to pull back a late goal. Rual Mendiz scored both goals, one on one and then a close ranger header in the first half was enough. Taking off at halftime to rest, Cuation wasted tons of chances then the team slowly relaxed, yet they had the quality to hold out.

Man of the Match: Rual Mendiz

Only 45 minutes played but his pace and finishing ensured victory.

New Montreal States 3-0 Cuation

Tricky away match to a refreshed Paladins turned into a rout. In matches like these, the away team has to gain some measure of a fight in midfield but they simply collpased. Peter Seamen's constant booting of the ball did not help, it would have been better had he thrown it to a player close by.

A fine finish by Jacques Toussaint in the 14th minute put Cuation behind and the defence would be put under pressure for the rest of the half but held out. Rual Mendiz's chip forced a good save from Paul Chasson. Two other efforts flew wide as Cuation hoped to break from the pressure.

In the second half, the Paladins upped the pressure, Peter Seamen pulling of two excellent saves. After the second one, his long kick found Pierre St-Simard, the pass forward found Villeneuve who steered the ball home. 2-0 down and out, Andy Gordon would find Villeneuve, again the ball ending up in the back of the net.

This leaves Cuation in second place after three games with a lot of work to do on their bye day. The training will be good for them before they play a home game against An Archy, a match where a win would do everyone a lot of good.

Alternate Scores

In the game World Cup, Cuation have failed to win any of their three games but are also unbeaten. Three draws has them in 5th place, the kind of form shown in the pre season Dragon cup that saw Cuation finish 13th.

***OXRO News Special Report***
Must win game for the squids!

Tomorrow the wild green squids of Georgeonia face group 11 rivals Emporer Pudu. Many predicted that we would be the two teams fighting it out for last place, but both teams have so far exceeded expectations. Georgeonia are currently in seventh place with 3 points, but Pudu are breathing down their necks in eighth place with a solid two points. Whoever wins this game is going to take a big step up the table, so the Squids are having an extensive stratergies and tactics session tonight at their hotel, in order to be well prepared for their game. The hearts and minds of the people of Georgeonia will be with them tomorrow, come on you squids!

Group 11 Table (Excerpt)
7 Georgeonia 3 1 0 2 1 4 -3 3
8 Emporer Pudu 3 0 2 1 2 7 -5 2