NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: Sorry I'm late, really late back.

IC: Walter wasn't in the habit of drinking straight scotch. He was so excited by the Blivx's death he didn't notice his throat burning. Then he noticed a Shooban licking his toaster.

"Dirty Shooban," yelled Walter, pulling the toaster out of the Shoobans reach.
He proceeded to smash the toaster into the Shooban's head.
Again he moved his toaster away from the Shooban, before pulling a gun on the stupid beast.

OOC BLATANT ADVERT: You really should read the execution thread "Vengeful Execution."
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=393481&page=1&pp=15

The Shooban collapsed to the ground, wallowing in a puddle of his own brain tissue. Other Shoobans began attacking the Professor, saying, "Yoosa ki'd mah bradda, yoosa ki'd mah bradda!"

"Ahh! The Shoobans are rebelling!" cried Ha--Steve as he was eating his baby squirrel sandwich. Not wasting a moment, he pulled out his big Scimitar, threw it into the garbage can, and then began to beat the Shoobans up with a spork.

"Ahh! The Shoobans are rebelling!" cried Ha--Steve as he was eating his baby squirrel sandwich. Not wasting a moment, he pulled out his big Scimitar, threw it into the garbage can, and then began to beat the Shoobans up with a spork.

The Shoobans screamed as they were beaten back by the valiant Lightning Starian warrior; however, they were undeterred, and continued attacking. Shoobans threw ostrich eggs, chunks of iguana feces, globs of mud, and plastic bags filled with Kool-Aid at Steve.

ooc: sorry for the extraneous comment, but who exactly are the Shoobans? I guess I missed that RP.

OOC: Hate to nag, did you catch this?

OOC: *Nod*

ooc: sorry for the extraneous comment, but who exactly are the Shoobans? I guess I missed that RP.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=352232

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=352179

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=390180&page=1&pp=15

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=336013

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=336004

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=336044

The Shoobans screamed as they were beaten back by the valiant Lightning Starian warrior; however, they were undeterred, and continued attacking. Shoobans threw ostrich eggs, chunks of iguana feces, globs of mud, and plastic bags filled with Kool-Aid at Steve.

Karl said, holding up his BAR: "Steve? You need any help?"

J.L. took out a bazooka. "Ah, screw it, let's help him, anyway, whether he likes it or not!"

He began obliterating Shoobans left and right, making a hell of a mess.

OOC: Shoobooshaba was my first war. Generic Empire, ROach-Busters, Parthians, and I conquered it. Together Generic Empire and I own like 90% of it. Parthians lost everything but his capital to Dracun Imperium when he threatened war. And Roach-Busters turned his ladn into New Roach-Busters. GE and I turned it inot a massive missile silo, if you ever see us launch nukes 99% of the nukes are coming from Shooban Silos. THe slaves we took are basically slaves, excpet they have the worst jobs and are worht less than slaves ever were.

IC: The Iksar quickly withdrew their BEWDs and began to slice down all the Shoobans. THe ones in the back had no idea what was going on and so just sat waiting to start beign hunted. Bhalk snuck inside and helped ot slay all Shoobans in sight.

OOC: Shoobooshaba was my first war. Generic Empire, ROach-Busters, Parthians, and I conquered it. Together Generic Empire and I own like 90% of it. Parthians lost everything but his capital to Dracun Imperium when he threatened war. And Roach-Busters turned his ladn into New Roach-Busters. GE and I turned it inot a massive missile silo, if you ever see us launch nukes 99% of the nukes are coming from Shooban Silos. THe slaves we took are basically slaves, excpet they have the worst jobs and are worht less than slaves ever were.

OOC: And they're oh-so-fun to abuse! :D

J.L. took out a bazooka. "Ah, screw it, let's help him, anyway, whether he likes it or not!"

He began obliterating Shoobans left and right, making a hell of a mess.

Karl said, "Fine by me."

He then set his BAR on Full Auto, loaded in an all-tracer clip, and let loose a torrent of fire at the rioting Shoobans, reducing the heads of a goodly amount of them to a very bloody mess and producing a very dazzling light show at the same time.

OOC: And they're oh-so-fun to abuse! :D

I guess it's why we do it. you know, just walk up and :mp5: . Ah, that was good, I haven't ever used a smiley.

Karl said, "Fine by me."

He then set his BAR on Full Auto, loaded in an all-tracer clip, and let loose a torrent of fire at the rioting Shoobans, reducing the heads of a goodly amount of them to a very bloody mess and producing a very dazzling light show at the same time.

Suddenly, the spirit of Chief Jabari Ruhulla Shoobooshaaba (check one of the links) appeared. "For attacking my people, I will destroy you!" he shouted, as he began brandishing a razor-sharp spear at Karl, attempting to disembowel him.

Suddenly, the spirit of Chief Jabari Ruhulla Shoobooshaaba (check one of the links) appeared. "For attacking my people, I will destroy you!" he shouted, as he began brandishing a razor-sharp spear at Karl, attempting to disembowel him.

Karl lept to the side, and began performing a "shootdodge" manuever as the spear narrowly missed him, firing repeadtedly at the entity.

After sliding for about five feet, he shouldered his BAR, pulled out his daikatana and a cross, and said, "Game on, spirit. I fear nothing but God."

Karl lept to the side, and began performing a "shootdodge" manuever as the spear narrowly missed him, firing repeadtedly at the entity.

After sliding for about five feet, he pulled out his daikatana and a cross, and said, "Game on, spirit. I fear nothing but God."

The spirit dropped dead, as blood oozed from the bullet holes. "Gack," it said, before disappearing before their eyes.

The spirit dropped dead, as blood oozed from the bullet holes. "Gack," it said, before disappearing before their eyes.

Karl got up and said, "Wow....that was almost too easy."

He then said to a now-cowering Shooban, "Garcon! One Douglas Sirk Steak, Bloody as Hell, and a Five Dollar Shake!"

Karl got up and said, "Wow....that was almost too easy."

He then said to a now-cowering Shooban, "Garcon! One Douglas Sirk Steak, Bloody as Hell, and a Five Dollar Shake!"

"Ookey-dookey, Mastah Kawl," the Shooban said, and snatched a five dollar bill from Karl's pocket. He began shaking it.

(OOC: Just so you know, the Shooban is deliberately being a smart-ass. They're pissed now that you killed their dead leader.)

"Ookey-dookey, Mastah Kawl," the Shooban said, and snatched a five dollar bill from Karl's pocket. He began shaking it.

(OOC: Just so you know, the Shooban is deliberately being a smart-ass. They're pissed now that you killed their dead leader.)

Karl snatched his five dollar bill back, got his Fairbarn-Sykes knife, grabbed the Shooban, and put the knife up to his neck threateningly.

He then said, "Listen, you. I don't want any bulls**t. Just get me the damn steak."

He then threw the Shooban to the floor, and stepped back.

Karl snatched his five dollar bill back, got his Fairbarn-Sykes knife, grabbed the Shooban, and put the knife up to his neck threateningly.

He then said, "Listen, you. I don't want any bulls**t. Just get me the damn steak."

He then threw the Shooban to the floor, and stepped back.

"Yoos no wanna bo'sheet? Aw-wighty, I iz goona giv yoos bo'sheet!"

The Shooban left and returned with a plate that had a massive chunk of steer feces on it. "Hee iz yoos bo'sheet!"

"Yoos no wanna bo'sheet? Aw-wighty, I iz goona giv yoos bo'sheet!"

The Shooban left and returned with a plate that had a massive chunk of steer feces on it. "Hee iz yoos bo'sheet!"

Karl sighed, pulled out a M1911A1 pistol, and shot the Shooban dead. The plate clattered to the floor, the crap still on it. He then got his knife, and shoved the feces into the Shooban's mouth, saying, "Useless......"

He then got up and said to J.L., "Got any non-Shooban help? I wanted a Douglas Sirk steak and a Five Dollar Shake, they seem to be unusually a*****ic now that I killed their leader."

Karl sighed, pulled out a M1911A1 pistol, and shot the Shooban dead. The plate clattered to the floor, the crap still on it. He then got his knife, and shoved the feces into the Shooban's mouth, saying, "Useless......"

He then got up and said to J.L., "Got any non-Shooban help? I wanted a Douglas Sirk steak and a Five Dollar Shake, they seem to be unusually violent now that i killed their leader."

A very tall, thin, vaguely British-looking man sporting an extremely conspicuous tuxedo walked over to Karl. He had a long, acquiline nose, a narrow, scrupulously-shaved chin, waxy blond hair, and small blue eyes that exuded an aura emphasizing his gentle demeanor. "Good day, sir," he said in a very soft, polite voice. "I am Chives, and I shall be your servor day." He wrote down Karl's order, and said, "I shall go inform our chefs that this is what you wish, and shall return promptly upon completion of the steak. In the meantime, here is your shake."

He handed Karl exactly what he had asked for, and with a bow, said, "Please enjoy, dear sir."

A very tall, thin, vaguely British-looking man sporting an extremely conspicuous tuxedo walked over to Karl. He had a long, acquiline nose, a narrow, scrupulously-shaved chin, waxy blond hair, and small blue eyes that exuded an aura emphasizing his gentle demeanor. "Good day, sir," he said in a very soft, polite voice. "I am Chives, and I shall be your servor day." He wrote down Karl's order, and said, "I shall go inform our chefs that this is what you wish, and shall return promptly upon completion of the steak. In the meantime, here is your shake."

He handed Karl exactly what he had asked for, and with a bow, said, "Please enjoy, dear sir."

Karl said to Chives, "Thanks."

He then sat down, and began drinking the shake. He then said, "Mhm! THis is good......."

He twirled his M1911A1, on the lookout for any vengeful Shoobans.....

A short while later, Chives returned with fifteen blood-soaked steaks. "I was not sure how bloody you wanted it, so I inquired of the chefs that they prepare fifteen different steaks, to ensure that one of them met with your approval," he explained.

A short while later, Chives returned with fifteen blood-soaked steaks. "I was not sure how bloody you wanted it, so I inquired of the chefs that they prepare fifteen different steaks, to ensure that one of them met with your approval," he explained.

Karl said, "Well, Number Six seems good. Thanks again."

He then picked up the steak and began eating it, using a K-Bar knife rather than his Fairbarn-Sykes (now soiled), and a fork.

He then said to J.L., "I must say, you have excellent chefs........give them my compliments!"

"Your english Chives?"

"Your english Chives?"

"Indeed I am, Master Bhalk," Chives said, bowing his head.

Karl said, "Well, Number Six seems good. Thanks again."

He then picked up the steak and began eating it, using a K-Bar knife rather than his Fairbarn-Sykes (now soiled), and a fork.

He then said to J.L., "I must say, you have excellent chefs........give them my compliments!"

"Thanks," J.L. said. "Speaking of which, I'm going to go have them make me some fettuccine alfredo."

bump

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OOC: What of my offer on the Genetics storefront? I posted a picture and a general idea of the kind of supersoldier that I wanted......

And Karl doesn't know it is their dead chief.

IC:

Karl then sat back and said to J.L. "Who did I just kill, anyway? That was one weak spirit.....if the Shoobans had somebody like that for a leader, I wonder how they lived without our guidance."

OOC: What of my offer on the Genetics storefront? I posted a picture and a general idea of the kind of supersoldier that I wanted......

And Karl doesn't know it is their dead chief.

IC:

Karl then sat back and said to J.L. "Who did I just kill, anyway? That was one weak spirit.....if the Shoobans had somebody like that for a leader, I wonder how they lived without our guidance."

"Reverse Darwinism: survival of the most idiotic," said a non-Shooban servant.

"Shut up!" J.L. said. "You know believing in Darwinism is illegal in RB! However, I'll forgive you, since you meant it as an insult to Shoobans."

"So, who wants to kill some more Shoobans?" J.L. asked.

The Shooban collapsed to the ground, wallowing in a puddle of his own brain tissue. Other Shoobans began attacking the Professor, saying, "Yoosa ki'd mah bradda, yoosa ki'd mah bradda!"
Openning his mouth to speak, he realised that he a throat full of scotch tape.
"Ach," he chocked, "It wasn't me, it was the toaster," stumbling back with gun in hand just in case.

R.L. had been unloading on the tree-huggers in the backyard, when he realized his ammo was running low and these were no ordinary evironmantalists.

R.L.: Oh, s**t! Guys, I'm running out of ammo and we've got Green Peace on our hands! *now yelling to the others inside* EVERYONE OUTSIDE NOW! BRING ME MORE DEAGLE AMMO!

As soon as the violent group of tree-huggers, who last week had stormed over an oil rig as the Dominion was about to sink it, heard ammo was low they charged at the palace in full force. R.L. tired as hard as possible to hold them and his entourage had produced MP-5s to assist, but there were still hundreds...

Suddenly, a low rumbling was heard. It began to get louder. The ground began to shake. Suddenly, one of the walls was completely mowed down and Emperor Helldawg came flying outside in the commander's seat of an M29A1 Arbiter MBT, spraying hundreds of 25mm rounds into the hoard of hippies with the commander's mini-turret. The gunner was traversing left and right, spraying at them with his 25mm autocannon as the tank flew through the crowd at 45mph, crushing the unfortunate souls incapable of getting out of the way. When the smoke cleared, thousands of hippies lay strewn throughout the yard, most of them missing multiple limbs. The Emperor cracked open the hatch and hopped up the the roof. He took a whiff of the air,

"Ah, I love the smell of fried liberals in the morning." he said with a smile.

Suddenly, a low rumbling was heard. It began to get louder. The ground began to shake. Suddenly, one of the walls was completely mowed down and Emperor Helldawg came flying outside in the commander's seat of an M29A1 Arbiter MBT, spraying hundreds of 25mm rounds into the hoard of hippies with the commander's mini-turret. The gunner was traversing left and right, spraying at them with his 25mm autocannon as the tank flew through the crowd at 45mph, crushing the unfortunate souls incapable of getting out of the way. When the smoke cleared, thousands of hippies lay strewn throughout the yard, most of them missing multiple limbs. The Emperor cracked open the hatch and hopped up the the roof. He took a whiff of the air,

"Ah, I love the smell of fried liberals in the morning." he said with a smile.

Karl said, "Again, we slay."

He got back onto his KPV machinegun and after loading it, began laying waste to the surviving hippies.

Then, he called out: "Anybody want to frag more Shoobans!? I certainly do!"

I'm game.

I'm game.

Kalr then said, "Alrighty then!"

He then reloaded the KPV with all-tracers like usual, and asked J.L., "Got any more Shoobans?"

"Indeed I am, Master Bhalk," Chives said, bowing his head.

Standing back Bhalk fixed his clothes to allow himself to jump around in a mocking fashion.

"Bet you dont here this too often.

HAHAHAHA! I bought your country, I bought your country! I own your people, nation, heritage, history,a dn everything else. NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa!"

Standing back Bhalk fixed his clothes to allow himself to jump around in a mocking fashion.

"Bet you dont here this too often.

HAHAHAHA! I bought your country, I bought your country! I own your people, nation, heritage, history,a dn everything else. NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa!"

Karl, hearing this, laughed and said, "Bhalk, you own that little airstrip full of warm beer?"

Karl, hearing this, laughed and said, "Bhalk, you own that little airstrip full of warm beer?"

"That and so much more."

Steve walked up to J.L. and said "Hola Señor, quiero mis pantalones."

Suddenly, a Porsche 911 smashed through a stained-glass window. King Falcon II got out, dusted himself down, and ordered a double-vodka, no ice, in a real shot glass.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, to the air in general, in a clipped Cambridge accent rather than the typical Falcanian drawl.

Steve walked up to J.L. and said "Hola Señor, quiero mis pantalones."

*Mumbles to self*

"Pantalones sounds like pants. I hope he keeps them on."

The Professor coughed up the rest of the scotch tape, still holding his gun to the Shoobans.

bump

Steve walked up to J.L. and said "Hola Señor, quiero mis pantalones."

"Sorry, I don't speak Spanish," J.L. said, and shrugged.

Steve walked up to J.L. and said "Hola Señor, quiero mis pantalones."
من اسپانیایی ،یازبانهای وحشی عرب صحبت نمی کنم
شمافارسی ؟صحبت می کنید

من اسپانیایی ،یازبانهای وحشی عرب صحبت نمی کنم
شمافارسی ؟صحبت می کنید

"Beg your pardon?" J.L. asked.

من اسپانیایی ،یازبانهای وحشی عرب صحبت نمی کنم [/SIZE]
شمافارسی ؟صحبت می کنید[/SIZE]
Walter had heard that language before. It was one of the many things the Church had proclaimed the devil's language; along with socialism and equal opportunity.

In panic he opened fire on the Shoobans; unaware the words had been spoken by someone in another room.

من اسپانیایی ،یازبانهای وحشی عرب صحبت نمی کنم
شمافارسی ؟صحبت می کنید

(OOC: What does that translate to?)

Walter shot another Shooban.
"Now scram," he yelled, picking up his brain covered toaster and walked out of the theatre in his now red tux.

He walked over to J.L. "I will have to leave, soon," he said, "I'm working tommorow, or is it today. Anyway I'm going to be on TV, with a live audience and I don't want to fall asleep in the middle of it."

"What channel will you be on?" J.L. asked the Professor. He took the Professor's toaster, handed it to a non-Shooban servant, and the servant scrupulously-polished it until it was sparkling like a diamond, meticulously cleaned, spotless, and utterly devoid of germs. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Professor," J.L. said. "Even though we only recently met, I count you among my closest friends. Please, feel free to come back any time."

bump

من اسپانیایی ،یازبانهای وحشی عرب صحبت نمی کنم
شمافارسی ؟صحبت می کنید

Two can play THAT game!

پاکستان ميرے ملک اور اردو زبردست زبان هے

Suddenly, from the corner of the eye, people could see a vast horde approaching. A mass of horsemen, clad head to toe in armor and riding on armored horses began to charge a group of shoobans. On the front was Shah Khosru, wearing a crown topped with a gigantic golden globe and wielding a jeweled scimitar. Horns blared as the horsemen put down their spears and ran into the group, impaling many on spears. Shah Khosru's steed jumped clean over a Shooban, before hacking off the slave's head with a scimitar. Hundreds of Shoobans lay dead as the gleaming horde ran them down below their hooves.

Your best post ever. :D

"Do YOU want some Cheetos?"

(OOC: You should make that your national motto. ;))

(OOC: You should make that your national motto. ;))

Omfg...

Thats an AWESOME Idea!

"Say, I'm bored," J.L. said, yawning. "What do you guys want to do?"

bump

bump

Your best post ever. :D

thank you.

The Shah yawned loudly and said to JL, "Why don't I call in my chef to make some Persian delecacies?"

thank you.

The Shah yawned loudly and said to JL, "Why don't I call in my chef to make some Persian delecacies?"

Just outta curiousity...

did you see my response to what you said before?

thank you.

The Shah yawned loudly and said to JL, "Why don't I call in my chef to make some Persian delecacies?"

Karl said, "Hmmm.......I wish to try some, I hear Persian food is wonderful...."

Karl said, "Hmmm.......I wish to try some, I hear Persian food is wonderful...."

"Meh. Carthaginian and Pakistani/Indian food are way better... But I guess Persian is O.K."

thank you.

The Shah yawned loudly and said to JL, "Why don't I call in my chef to make some Persian delecacies?"

"That would be excellent, my friend," J.L. said, smiling broadly. "I've never had the pleasure of tasting Persian meals before. However, there is no doubt in mind that they are an absolutely and unfathomably delicious culinary delight."

"Meh. Carthaginian and Pakistani/Indian food are way better... But I guess Persian is O.K."

"Why not have them all?" J.L. suggested. "Carthaginian, Pakistani, Indian, and Persian?"

"Beg your pardon?" J.L. asked.
OOC:
Roughly saying I don't speak Spanish or other Arab barbarian languages, do you speak Persian?


IC: "Steve, I don't speak your barbarous tounge, tell me what you just said."

(OOC: The Shoobans are strongly anti-Shah; right now, they're deliberately trying to piss him off)

"Deaf ta Ahuwa Mazduh, deaf ta Ahuwa Mazduh!" they said, intentionally mispronouncing the name of the Zoroastrinian (sp?) god who was so revered in Parthia.

(OOC: The Shoobans are strongly anti-Shah; right now, they're deliberately trying to piss him off)

"Deaf ta Ahuwa Mazduh, deaf ta Ahuwa Mazduh!" they said, intentionally mispronouncing the name of the Zoroastrinian (sp?) god who was so revered in Parthia.

Suddenly, the Shah removed a flamethrower and then sprayed the Shoobans while chanting, "Death to the children of Ahriman!"

Suddenly, the Shah removed a flamethrower and then sprayed the Shoobans while chanting, "Death to the children of Ahriman!"

The Shoobans fled, screaming, before withering to steaming ashes.

(OOC: Just out of curiosity, but are you a Zoroantrinist [sp?] IRL?)

The Shoobans fled, screaming, before withering to steaming ashes.

(OOC: Just out of curiosity, but are you a Zoroantrinist [sp?] IRL?)

OOC: Not officially, my parents are secular. I do have an interest in it and desire to become a member of the faith, but most Zoroastrian houses of worship are run by Parsees who do not allow conversion even of Persians. Ones run by Iranian Zoroastrians tend to allow conversion of Persians though.

OOC: Not officially, my parents are secular. I do have an interest in it and desire to become a member of the faith, but most Zoroastrian houses of worship are run by Parsees who do not allow conversion even of Persians. Ones run by Iranian Zoroastrians tend to allow conversion of Persians though.

(OOC: Does the religion have its own book, i.e. the Bible, Torah, or Koran?)

IC: J.L. asked the Parthian chef, "May I please a menu?"

(OOC: Does the religion have its own book, i.e. the Bible, Torah, or Koran?)

IC: J.L. asked the Parthian chef, "May I please a menu?"

OOC: The Avesta, Perhaps the oldest revealed religious text in existence is the main holy book.

IC: Yes, we have kebabs of lamb, sabzi polow which is rice with mixed herbs, saffron chicken, dolme-ye barg-e mo, which are vine leaves stuffed with meat, spices, and rice, and halva for dessert.

"Ill try some Persian food, give me one of everything."

"What channel will you be on?" J.L. asked the Professor. He took the Professor's toaster, handed it to a non-Shooban servant, and the servant scrupulously-polished it until it was sparkling like a diamond, meticulously cleaned, spotless, and utterly devoid of germs. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Professor," J.L. said. "Even though we only recently met, I count you among my closest friends. Please, feel free to come back any time."

"Ohh, thats so sweet," said Professor Walter wiping a tear from his eye; but snatching the toaster violently off the servant.
"Next time, lets chuck the big party at my house," he paused remembering that his mansion was no palace, "Actually, the High Priest is a good friend of mine; we'll have it at his."
"I hope you enjoy the bread, I brought; and I nearly forgot these."
He handed a huge case of tickets for to J.L, "You can all come to the TV show tommorow, actually we are short on the panel, and a high roller like yourself would do well."

OOC: All are welcome to try out for the panel, and audience membership is completely open.
Apply here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8097086

"That's ok. I'm too important and busy to be on it, but I may look in later."

King Falcon II weaved skilfully through the throng. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a sparkle. He feigned ignorance, and then whirled round, whipped out a Jay SA-1 handgun and fired a single shot. The sniper hit the ground.

Holstering his handgun, he went over to the dead sniper. Pulling down his trousers, he noted the hemp underwear. "It's an animal rights activist. He must have the wrong place; the 'who gives a damn about animal rights club' is next door."

"Isn't that murder?" asked an onlooker.

"Meh." He replied. "Not in Falcania at any rate."

OOC: The Avesta, Perhaps the oldest revealed religious text in existence is the main holy book.

IC: Yes, we have kebabs of lamb, sabzi polow which is rice with mixed herbs, saffron chicken, dolme-ye barg-e mo, which are vine leaves stuffed with meat, spices, and rice, and halva for dessert.

"They all sound delicious," J.L. said. "May I have a little of each?"

Damn animal right activists.

Damn animal right activists.

J.L. said, "To quote our good friend Shah Khosru, 'Lefties like animals more than people, you know how their brains "work" my friend.'"

J.L. said, "To quote our good friend Shah Khosru, 'Lefties like animals more than people, you know how their brains "work" my friend.'"

"Ah yes, I remember that."

J.L. handed Bhalk an enormous stone club. "So, want to go club some baby seals? I'll have my cameraman tape it, and we can send copies to all the lefties we know. Genius, eh?"

J.L. handed Bhalk an enormous stone club. "So, want to go club some baby seals? I'll have my cameraman tape it, and we can send copies to all the lefties we know. Genius, eh?"

"That's a little monstrous, don't you think. It would be much better to shoot them or give them slow-working poison."

"That's a little monstrous, don't you think. It would be much better to shoot them or give them slow-working poison."

"Whatever works," J.L. said. "So long as it pisses off the lefties."

IC: Gentlemen of the free world, we are facing evil! I hearby declare myself sworn enemy of the "Who Gives a Damn About Human Rights Club."

You shall be hearing my complaint in a diplomatic note on the morrow.

"Whatever works," J.L. said. "So long as it pisses off the lefties."

"Well, I still think my Idea would piss off the lefties. Of course, you and your friends don't like my idea" said Steve as he munched on drug-laced Cheetos. "Yeah, my Idea to--"

*thump*

"OMFG! Steve has fainted!"

"Bring him to the hospital!"

*sirens*

"Well, I still think my Idea would piss off the lefties. Of course, you and your friends don't like my idea" said Steve as he munched on drug-laced Cheetos. "Yeah, my Idea to--"

*thump*

"OMFG! Steve has fainted!"

"Bring him to the hospital!"

*sirens*

J.L. ran over to the stretcher that was carrying Steve into the ambulance. "Steve, are you all right?" He turned to a paramedic. "What happened?"

"MY GOD!!! What happened!?"

J.L. ran over to the stretcher that was carrying Steve into the ambulance. "Steve, are you all right?" He turned to a paramedic. "What happened?"

"T3h...Uber...ninjahs..." was all Steve could manage to mutter under his breath as he struggled to retain consciousness. In the background, a funny asian man wearing a ninja-costume that said "I r Uber, lol" hopped on to a bus that said "t3h Ub3r N1nja c0nven+i0n. lolzorz." and drove away.

"Steve, you're gonna be all right," J.L. said, trying to reassure him. "Everything's gonna be all right, man."

"Steve, you're gonna be all right," J.L. said, trying to reassure him. "Everything's gonna be all right, man."

*death*

All of a sudden, a ghostly image appeared coming out of Steve. It then flew over to the Uber-Ninja bus, blew it up, set it on fire, and sucked the life-force out of all the Ninjas. The ghost then flew back and got into Steve.

"I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" he shouted as he ran towards the bar and began to sip Martinis while munching on cheetos.

NO! The guy must be getting away! I'll see if I can catch him.
Murdock jumps into the front of his comanche and takes off to circle the compound and hopefully catch the assailant. He hit the master arm on all the weapons and begna sweeping the area for any suspicious vehicles.

"J.L. I haven't demanded anything of you ever. But now I must demand that you turn on this channel (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=394505) to see the torture and execution of the greatest traitor ever seen to Borman. And if you would like a quick summary I can tell you."

OOC: that should have been before Lightning Star's post, but I'm too slow.
IC: "Whoa! Did you see that, that bus just exploded!" The unmarked comanche swoops in low over the burning fragments of the bus and sprays the area with gunfire, just for good policy, and returns to the party, this time landing in the backyard. Where it was rearmed by techs called in by Murdock earlier in the party, and they promptly left. They had hidden in a closet the whole time.

"Turn it on!"

"Turn it on!"

"I did!"

"I did!"

"Good!"

"Good!"


"Pie!"

Karl said, "My Generalissimo, Friends, I hate to interrupt...."

He took out an OD Green steel box marked "M4 MEDICAL NANITES, SAKURA MEDICAL TYPE 60. CONTENTS: 20 20CC SYRINGES, USE WITH CAUTION"

He opened the box, and took out a syringe. He then said to J.L.: "These are Xenizen Army Nanites, they represent some of the best medicine and technological acumen in existence, being able to cure broken limbs in a matter of hours and minutes, not days, and even going as far as to target AIDS. They will even fight the Common Cold, and perform other amazing cures."

He then smiled. "Perhaps your Governments would be interested in such things? They can be programmed for any purpose, the foolish Xenizens use them for medicine only, not for its best purpose, an intelligent commie-seeking weapon perhaps?"

"For how much?" J.L. asked Karl.

"For how much?" J.L. asked Karl.

Karl smiled and said, "My contacts in the Russian Mafiya assure me that for a low USD$10,000,000 per 500 gallon drum crate of Xenizen Military Nanites, you can recieve an inert substance that can be programmed to do your bidding with a simple USB cable and a computer of any kind, whether it be the production of more tanks, or as mentioned, a commie-seeking weapon."

"Wow"

"Wow"

Karl said, "I see you are amazed......" smiling.

Karl said, "I see you are amazed......" smiling.

"I am, but others may consider this a god-mode. So I will not buy any."

"I'll buy a 500 gallon drum crate. Money wired."

J.L. looked around. "Sheesh, Kimiko and Moua still aren't back yet? They must really be enjoying themselves..."

The Professor plugged in his toaster; and both he and the toaster disappeared as suddenly as they came.

"Well, this seems to be slowing down. Should we close the party?"

"I'll buy a 500 gallon drum crate. Money wired."

J.L. looked around. "Sheesh, Kimiko and Moua still aren't back yet? They must really be enjoying themselves..."

Karl smiled and said, "Why thank you, it was a pleasure doing business with you."

*Mumbles to self* "There seem ssomething wierd about this." *Finishes mumbling*

"Well, this seems to be slowing down. Should we close the party?"

"Nein! Nein nein!"

"Well, this seems to be slowing down. Should we close the party?"

"I suppose so," J.L. said, "after the Shah's chef makes us dinner. Then, we'll meet again at the second party. Who shall host it?"

"I suppose so," J.L. said, "after the Shah's chef makes us dinner. Then, we'll meet again at the second party. Who shall host it?"

"Me me me!"

"Me me me!"

"Very well, we'll hold it in your nation," J.L. said. "When?"

"Very well, we'll hold it in your nation," J.L. said. "When?"

OOC: Do you mean when as in Real-life or when as in...fake...time....thing...

OOC: Do you mean when as in Real-life or when as in...fake...time....thing...

(OOC: Both.)

"We shall have another party next month, to check up on how we are all doing.

Here's a picture of the place where it shall be held:

http://acmeme.org/all/travel/islamabad/rawalpindi/saudi_pak_tower_day.jpg

I hope to see you all there."

OOC: In RL, I'll be making one on Saturday. If you don't want one then, I'll change it, but since next week is Carnival(free time for me!), I'll have all of next week to manage it and stuff.

"We shall have another party next month, to check up on how we are all doing.

Here's a picture of the place where it shall be held:

http://acmeme.org/all/travel/islamabad/rawalpindi/saudi_pak_tower_day.jpg

I hope to see you all there."

OOC: In RL, I'll be making one on Saturday. If you don't want one then, I'll change it, but since next week is Carnival(free time for me!), I'll have all of next week to manage it and stuff.

"I'll be there," J.L. said. "I'll bring plenty of Shoobans for us to kill, as well."

(OOC: Please be sure to TG me when you make it.)

"I'll be there," J.L. said. "I'll bring plenty of Shoobans for us to kill, as well."

(OOC: Please be sure to TG me when you make it.)

Ok.

Just don't bring any pork...

And hide your alcohol. We have a nice basement you can store it in...

Ok.

Just don't bring any pork...

And hide your alcohol. We have a nice basement you can store it in...

"Why no pork?" J.L. asked. "Are you Muslim?"

"They all sound delicious," J.L. said. "May I have a little of each?"

The Chef smiled, "Yes your excellency, I shall prepare a bit of each of these fine little things. Would you like mixed herb or saffron rice with it, or perhaps a bit of each?"

The Chef smiled, "Yes your excellency, I shall prepare a bit of each of these fine little things. Would you like mixed herb or saffron rice with it, or perhaps a bit of each?"

"A little bit of each, please," J.L. said. He handed the Chef an envelope containing a tip: 1,000 Parthis.

Ok.

Just don't bring any pork...

And hide your alcohol. We have a nice basement you can store it in...


"If this is anywhere near Delhi, or India in general, can you call me Nader Shah?"

(OOC: Just an inside joke between me and TLS)

"A little bit of each, please," J.L. said. He handed the Chef an envelope containing a tip: 1,000 Parthis.

"The chef bowed generously and then said many times, "thank you." He was always grateful with his modest income of 75,000 Parthis a year. Within fifteen minutes, the feast appeared before JL's eyes. Lamb, chicken, and rice flavored with saffron, a spice as valuable as gold and plates full of small pieces of lamb cooked on a kebab and served with Dolmehs.

"The chef bowed generously and then said many times, "thank you." He was always grateful with his modest income of 75,000 Parthis a year. Within fifteen minutes, the feast appeared before JL's eyes. Lamb, chicken, and rice flavored with saffron, a spice as valuable as gold and plates full of small pieces of lamb cooked on a kebab and served with Dolmehs.

J.L. said, "Thanks, sir. What's your name?"

Hearing of the chef's plight, J.L. ordered his aide to personally wire 1,000,000 Parthias to the chef's account.

J.L. took a bite of the food. "Delicious! Exceptional! Phenomenal!" He turned to the Shah. "You, my friend, have made an excellent choice when you picked this man to be your chef!"

"Aren't you going to eat, my friend?" J.L. asked the Shah.

Karl got a whiff of the food, and he said, "Perhaps I should have some too......Shah, I too, wish to try one of everything."

"Shah?" J.L. said.

J.L. said, "Thanks, sir. What's your name?"

Hearing of the chef's plight, J.L. ordered his aide to personally wire 1,000,000 Parthias to the chef's account.

J.L. took a bite of the food. "Delicious! Exceptional! Phenomenal!" He turned to the Shah. "You, my friend, have made an excellent choice when you picked this man to be your chef!"

The chef smiled at JL, "Great Lord, my name is Jamshid Tehrani and I am humbled by your presence and generosity. Accept the humble thanks of myself and my family." The Shah looked at the chef and spoke, "Could I get some lamb shank, saffron rice, and dolmehs?" Jamshid nodded and then turned to Karl and spoke, "Yes, great lord, I will make it within fifteen minutes."

J.L. smiled. "No need to be so formal," he told the chef. "Please, just call me J.L."

IC: Gentlemen of the free world, we are facing evil! I hearby declare myself sworn enemy of the "Who Gives a Damn About Human Rights Club."

You shall be hearing my complaint in a diplomatic note on the morrow.

King Falcon II sent two black-suited men with sunglasses to follow this man everywhere he went.

Overlord Aquilak arrives in a Spanish Galleon c. 1588 rowed by slaves and floating on a pink water wave.

"Hi guys. So who wants absinthe?"

Overlord Aquilak arrives in a Spanish Galleon c. 1588 rowed by slaves and floating on a pink water wave.

"Hi guys. So who wants absinthe?"

Karl said, "Meh, I'll have some, in exchange, I offer you some Jagermeister."

"nice entrance" said KFII, casually rolling into a small ball and zipping about the place.

"If this is anywhere near Delhi, or India in general, can you call me Nader Shah?"

(OOC: Just an inside joke between me and TLS)

"Would you count Islamabad as near India?"

(OOC: :))

A few minutes after the blacksuits followed the Astatian into the Gent's, a scream was heard.

"Would you count Islamabad as near India?"

(OOC: :))

IC: "Not near enough, I'd only refer to myself as Nader Shah if I was near Delhi, hell, I'd even be carried in on the Peacock Throne just for kicks."

IC: "Not near enough, I'd only refer to myself as Nader Shah if I was near Delhi, hell, I'd even be carried in on the Peacock Throne just for kicks."

Mmmkay.

Mmmkay.

OOC: You do know who Nader Shah was, right?

After using his reamining .50 cal rounds to eliminate the remaining Green Peace who tried to jump the fence, R.L. walked back inside.

R.L.:Anyone got anything to cool down an overheated Desert Eagle with? I just used up the last of my ammo and now the gun's hot as hell. Where's the fridge?

After using his reamining .50 cal rounds to eliminate the remaining Green Peace who tried to jump the fence, R.L. walked back inside.

R.L.:Anyone got anything to cool down an overheated Desert Eagle with? I just used up the last of my ammo and now the gun's hot as hell. Where's the fridge?

KFII slides a bowl of water towards RL.

"Where's my food?"

"Where's my food?"

The waiter ran over, carrying his food. "Here you are, sir."

Meanwhile, J.L. awakened from a boredom-induced coma. "Huh? What'd I miss?"

"Thank you."

*Scratches J.L.'s and waiter's name off hitlist*

"What...I dont have a...ummm...good food."

Have some Falcanian Fried Falcon!

"will do"

"I do hope ur enjoying ur meal... there is a letter for u..."

"Thank you." He opens the letter. "OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!"

New thread!

New Party! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8128981#post8128981)