NationStates Jolt Archive

(OOC: If you are not already a member, click here http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7969113#post7969113, to join. Needless to say, if you are not a member, don't even bother posting. Thanks.)

Generalissimo J.L. lay back in his armchair, slowly sipping a tall, ice-cold glass of root beer, relaxing as Thiansiri scratched his back. He listlessly threw a few darts at a dart board with a picture of Karl Marx, as he awaited the arrival of his guests.

President Holtz walked in with his wife, Shelby. "Ah, Generalissimo J.L.! How are you, my friend?"

President Holtz walked in with his wife, Shelby. "Ah, Generalissimo J.L.! How are you, my friend?"

J.L. chuckled warmly as he stood to shake President Holtz's hand. "John, my old friend," he said, seeming very wistful. He firmly shook John and Shelby's hands. "It is a pleasure seeing you two again. You remember my wife, Thiansiri, correct?"

A dazzling flash of red smoke, and Antonius appeared, playing a rocking guitar solo as always. In an equally dazzling flash of red smoke, Izz- I mean Lord Varus Tiberius Alexei appeared playing his own Spanish Gypsy guitar solo.

Prime Minister Eric Rechnitz promptly drove his red Mercedes-Benze car through the wall of the building. After getting out, he dusted himself off and said,

"Human rights aren't important? I think you're all goobs."

He then turned around, got back into his car, and ran over the mailbox driving away.

A dazzling flash of red smoke, and Antonius appeared, playing a rocking guitar solo as always. In an equally dazzling flash of red smoke, Izz- I mean Lord Varus Tiberius Alexei appeared playing his own Spanish Gypsy guitar solo.

J.L. applauded. "Antonius, Lord Alexei, a pleasure to see you two gentlemen again."

"Yes, I do." John said. "But I don't think Shelby has met her. Shelby, this is Thansiri, First Lady of Roach-Busters."

"Pleased to meet you, Thansiri." Shelby said.

As Thansiri and Shelby became accquainted, John continued speaking with J.L. "You know, human rights I always thought was an okay thing, but these days its just gone out of hand. Liberals have killed personal responsiblity really. The old human rights were, "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness". Now they are "Abortion, Gay Rights, and the pursuit of stem cell research."

Prime Minister Eric Rechnitz promptly drove his red Mercedes-Benze car through the wall of the building. After getting out, he dusted himself off and said,

"Human rights aren't important? I think you're all goobs."

He then turned around, got back into his car, and ran over the mailbox driving away.
"Shall I?" John asked. He produced from his coat a strange-looking mini-rocket launcher, which he then aimed at the car. He fired, the rocket hitting the car's backside, leaving the mark, "I am a liberal loser," on the car.

"Yes, I do." John said. "But I don't think Shelby has met her. Shelby, this is Thansiri, First Lady of Roach-Busters."

"Pleased to meet you, Thansiri." Shelby said.

As Thansiri and Shelby became accquainted, John continued speaking with J.L. "You know, human rights I always thought was an okay thing, but these days its just gone out of hand. Liberals have killed personal responsiblity really. The old human rights were, "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness". Now they are "Abortion, Gay Rights, and the pursuit of stem cell research."

J.L. nodded, agreeing completely. "Yeah, lefties have really f***ed the world over, haven't they?" He laughed.

A young man, dressed in a very spiffy tuxedo, entered the room. "Cigars, gentlemen?"

OOC: You're response tickled my funnybox. At anyrate, I'll leave you alone now.

Jack strolled into the party and began looking around. The place seemed to have just as much stuff as promised.

"Shall I?" John asked. He produced from his coat a strange-looking mini-rocket launcher, which he then aimed at the car. He fired, the rocket hitting the car's backside, leaving the mark, "I am a liberal loser," on the car.

(OOC: LOL!!!!! :D)

J.L. nodded, agreeing completely. "Yeah, lefties have really f***ed the world over, haven't they?" He laughed.

A young man, dressed in a very spiffy tuxedo, entered the room. "Cigars, gentlemen?"

John laughed too,"Yes they have." He then looked at the young man, "No thanks. I don't smoke."

Jack strolled into the party and began looking around. The place seemed to have just as much stuff as promised.

"Hello, Jack." J.L. motioned to his wife. "This gorgeous creature is my wife, Thiansiri."

John laughed too,"Yes they have." He then looked at the young man, "No thanks. I don't smoke."

"Very well, sir. A drink, perhaps? Or something to eat?"

(OOC: LOL!!!!! :D)
President Holtz then bowed. "Thank you, thank you! That mark was made with a form of paint that never comes off."

"Very well, sir. A drink, perhaps? Or something to eat?"
"I'm fine right now thanks." he replied.

Antonius took one of the proffered cigars and accepted the well dressed man's light, while Lord Varus disappeared into a back room with a waitress.

"Hello, Jack." J.L. motioned to his wife. "This gorgeous creature is my wife, Thiansiri."


Jack flashed are rare smile.

"I can see why J.L. is so happy all the time. It's a pleasure to meet you Thiansiri."

Antonius took one of the proffered cigars and accepted the well dressed man's light, while Lord Varus disappeared into a back room with a waitress.

"Those cigars were stolen from Cuba," the young man said boastfully. "We tortured and mutilated some of Castro's flunkies to get them. They're the finest in the world!"

Jack flashed are rare smile.

"I can see why J.L. is so happy all the time. It's a pleasure to meet you Thiansiri."

Thiansiri giggled shyly and shook Jack's hand. "Nice meeting you, Jack." She blushed, and put her arms around J.L.'s waist.

"I'm fine right now thanks." he replied.

The young man bowed his head. "If you change your mind, please let me know, sir."

"Those cigars were stolen from Cuba," the young man said boastfully. "We tortured and mutilated some of Castro's flunkies to get them. They're the finest in the world!"

"Well as long as you didn't pay for them. Supporting the Cuban economy is a crime punishable by death."

"Well as long as you didn't pay for them. Supporting the Cuban economy is a crime punishable by death."

"Not to worry. As a matter of fact, we burned down a few dozen banks while we were at it, mugged a few old farts, and urinated on Castro's front lawn."

"Not to worry. As a matter of fact, we burned down a few dozen banks while we were at it, mugged a few old farts, and urinated on Castro's front lawn."

Antonius broke into hysterical laughter, before producing a bottle of vodka and draining it.

"I must offer apology on Admiral Lotam's behalf, he's tracking down some files that may have been compromized and can't attend. Nothing important of course." Jack added quickly. "And how are things in Roach-Busters? I must admit I have been focusing more on internal matters lately. The damned legistative branch was giving me so much trouble I had to have the whole thing dissolved."

A few naked communists walked into the room, looking bewildered, confused, and frightened. J.L. produced a box filled with VERY sharp needles over ten inches long. They were literally over a hundred times sharper than scalpels. "Anyone want to play a game of 'Pin the Tail on the Pinko?'"

Thiansiri raised her hand. "Ooh, I do, I do!"

"I must offer apology on Admiral Lotam's behalf, he's tracking down some files that may have been compromized and can't attend. Nothing important of course." Jack added quickly. "And how are things in Roach-Busters? I must admit I have been focusing more on internal matters lately. The damned legistative branch was giving me so much trouble I had to have the whole thing dissolved."

J.L. nodded approvingly. "That's good. Legislatures are such a big waste, anyway. Why have others muck things up when you can do a much better job yourself?"

(OOC: I'll be back shortly. Keep posting, if you want.)

A few naked communists walked into the room, looking bewildered, confused, and frightened. J.L. produced a box filled with VERY sharp needles over ten inches long. They were literally over a hundred times sharper than scalpels. "Anyone want to play a game of 'Pin the Tail on the Pinko?'"

Thiansiri raised her hand. "Ooh, I do, I do!"

The moment he saw the Communists, Antonius immediately produced a .357 and shot one full of holes before he could here J.L.'s proposition.

"Oh, damn. Terribly sorry."

He sheepishly emptied the rest of the chamber into the dead commie and put the gun away.

While this was going down, Lord Varus appeared, grabbed another waitress and disappeared again into the back room.

J.L. nodded approvingly. "That's good. Legislatures are such a big waste, anyway. Why have others muck things up when you can do a much better job yourself?"

"Thats what I thought. And sure enough, things have gotten a lot better in Kordo. Now if you will excuse me, I must get a drink."


ooc: will be on probably only spuratically(sp?) the rest of the night. and for some some-what shameless thread-hijacking check out the those files (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=390181) Admiral Lotam is checking out

Karl and Kimiko walked into the club, smiling and waving.

Kimiko herself was smiling, and enjoying this. Karl was a little more nervous.

The responsibility of Human rights is every nations! The point to this is any person in the world has at least the right to fair treatment during their life! This lends to a more productive society & better standards of life overall, may even effect the schooling & education system of the world thus increasing peoples abilities & countries working class of population! EH!

Lord VTG

Karl and Kimiko walked into the club, smiling and waving.

Kimiko herself was smiling, and enjoying this. Karl was a little more nervous.

Moua grinned lustily as his eyes beheld the pulchritudinous Kimiko. He ran over to her, put his arms around her, and began frantically kissing her, panting loudly.

Moua grinned lustily as his eyes beheld the pulchritudinous Kimiko. He ran over to her, put his arms around her, and began frantically kissing her, panting loudly.

Kimiko went, in her trademark Marlene Deitrich voice, seductively, "Easy boy, there will be much time for that later..."

Karl simply rolled his eyes and said, "Ach du lieber....."

Kimiko went, in her trademark Marlene Deitrich voice, seductively, "Easy boy, there will be much time for that later..."

Karl simply rolled his eyes and said, "Ach du lieber....."

"Would you like to leave this party and go 'celebrate' at my place?" Moua asked.

There was no tremendous poof of smoke for Secretary Dailey, for he was recently seen abusing the #cc66cc-smoke-transportation capabilities. Instead, he walked himself into the palace, and found JL right away.

Moving right past him, he leered at the first lady. "Well, hellllo..."

[ooc] The secretary of state and RB go way back, although the 'relationship' or lack thereof has been one-sided.

"Would you like to leave this party and go 'celebrate' at my place?" Moua asked.

Kimiko said, "You're damn right!"

Karl said, "While Milady is off defouling herself, I will do some polite commiserating."

He then went to get some crackers and cheese.

There was no tremendous poof of smoke for Secretary Dailey, for he was recently seen abusing the #cc66cc-smoke-transportation capabilities. Instead, he walked himself into the palace, and found JL right away.

Moving right past him, he leered at the first lady. "Well, hellllo..."

[ooc] The secretary of state and RB go way back, although the 'relationship' or lack thereof has been one-sided.

She backed away from him, frightened, and cowered behind J.L., who pointed a revolver at Dailey's forehead. "Hey," he said jokingly, "don't get any ideas."

Kimiko said, "You're damn right!"

Karl said, "While Milady is off defouling herself, I will do some polite commiserating."

He then went to get some crackers and cheese.

(OOC: Milady? Are Karl and Kimiko...)

Moua grabbed Kimiko's hand, hurried out of the room, and they entered his limo, which immediately sped off for his mansion.

Suddenly, the crackers and cheese were blown away in a hail of bullets. Antonius lowered an unnecessarily high powered assault rifle.

"Oh, sorry again."

He then drained another bottle of vodka.

Suddenly, the crackers and cheese were blown away in a hail of bullets. Antonius lowered an unnecessarily high powered assault rifle.

"Oh, sorry again."

He then drained another bottle of vodka.

"Easy, man," J.L. said, looking concerned. "You don't want to get drunk, do you?"

She backed away from him, frightened, and cowered behind J.L., who pointed a revolver at Dailey's forehead. "Hey," he said jokingly, "don't get any ideas."

OOC: Jokingly? ;)

Dailey then shook his head, apparently in a confused state. He regained his composure, and apparently having suffered total short-term memory loss, he glanced around, confused, then turned to J.L. "Hey! Generalissimo! Good to see you, eh? What's with the gun?" Then he turned to the first lady again, and bowed, saying, "M'lady."

He might've reached to kiss her hand, but thankfully he didn't, because that would have been most inappropriate under the circumstances.

"Easy, man," J.L. said, looking concerned. "You don't want to get drunk, do you?"

Antonius looked down from the sights of the rocket propelled grenade launcher, which he quickly hid behind his back.

"Of course not."

OOC: Jokingly? ;)

Dailey then shook his head, apparently in a confused state. He regained his composure, and apparently having suffered total short-term memory loss, he glanced around, confused, then turned to J.L. "Hey! Generalissimo! Good to see you, eh? What's with the gun?" Then he turned to the first lady again, and bowed, saying, "M'lady."

He might've reached to kiss her hand, but thankfully he didn't, because that would have been most inappropriate under the circumstances.

J.L. shook Dailey's hand. "How's it going?"

He snapped his fingers, and a very beautiful young lady who looked almost identical to the First Lady walked in. She slithered over to Dailey, put her arms around him, and gazed into his eyes seductively.

"I would say that you're the most beautiful lady in the world," said Dailey. "But as that would get me dragged off and killed by the secret police, I'll stick with 'Roach Buster's first lady is damn sexy.'"

He paused, and took a swig from a glass of fine wine which was in his other hand, though nobody had any idea from where it came. "Say, J-L, can we borrow your bedchambers?"

J.L. shook Dailey's hand. "How's it going?"

He snapped his fingers, and a very beautiful young lady who looked almost identical to the First Lady walked in. She slithered over to Dailey, put her arms around him, and gazed into his eyes seductively.

Antonius started in surprise.

"Gah! Clone!"

He fired a few shots from a submachine gun at the woman and jumped behind a couch to hide.

Suddenly, a pillar of flame shot out from the floor, and Emperor Helldawg, in his evil-looking ceremonial armor, stepped out, his eyes glowing a brilliant red, smoke shooting out of his ears. After that, he went back to his usual meglomaniac self,

"Hey, guys, what's happenin'?"

"I would say that you're the most beautiful lady in the world," said Dailey. "But as that would get me dragged off and killed by the secret police, I'll stick with 'Roach Buster's first lady is damn sexy.'"

He paused, and took a swig from a glass of fine wine which was in his other hand, though nobody had any idea from where it came. "Say, J-L, can we borrow your bedchambers?"

"Use one of the guest bedrooms. It's down the hall and to the left."

The young lady giggled and kissed Dailey. "Come on, baby, let's go!'

Suddenly, a pillar of flame shot out from the floor, and Emperor Helldawg, in his evil-looking ceremonial armor, stepped out, his eyes glowing a brilliant red, smoke shooting out of his ears. After that, he went back to his usual meglomaniac self,

"Hey, guys, what's happenin'?"

"Not much, Helldawg. How's it going?" J.L. tossed Helldawg a carton of cigars.

Antonius started in surprise.

"Gah! Clone!"

He fired a few shots from a submachine gun at the woman and jumped behind a couch to hide.

She dodged the shots, and threw a feces grenade over the couch. "Die!"

She dodged the shots, and threw a feces grenade over the couch. "Die!"

Antonius flipped over the couch to avoid the excrement bomb, and drew his saber.

"Die spawn of Hell!"

He charged forward.

"Use one of the guest bedrooms. It's down the hall and to the left."

The young lady giggled and kissed Dailey. "Come on, baby, let's go!'

Dailey's schizophrenic nature, hitherto unseen, would pop up yet again. "Oh, I really shouldn't..." he said, then took another swig from his glass of wine, and let it drop to the floor. "Let's," he growled.

Upon reaching the guest bedchamber he plopped down onto the bed, the wine having worn off again, and yawned. "I'm really sleep," he said. "If I don't get a chance to, tell J.L. thanks for letting me use his bed." And dozed off.

The first lady lookalike then searched for more wine, and also (edit, trying to make sense of all the subplots) drew from her bosom a feces grenade and then engaged in epic battle with Antonius, whom she had heard had excellent and plentiful supplies of wine and other high-concentration alcoholic beverages.

(OOC: Milady? Are Karl and Kimiko...)

Moua grabbed Kimiko's hand, hurried out of the room, and they entered his limo, which immediately sped off for his mansion.

OOC: Karl and Kimiko are in a love-hate relationship, Kimiko has much of the power, but she respects Karls' Tokko legionnaires. Karl is actually thinking of bailing on Kimiko.....but he is holding off, for now.

IC:

Karl was dissapointed at Antonius. "Excuse me, why do you see a need to destroy perfectly good cheese and crackers?"

Antonius flipped over the couch to avoid the excrement bomb, and drew his saber.

"Die spawn of Hell!"

He charged forward.

She kicked him in the balls and ran out of the room.

She kicked him in the balls and ran out of the room.

As Antonius was so ridiculously manly, his balls withstood the attack, and he pursued her, a glass bottle raised above his head.

"Stand and fight, Satan!"

As Antonius was so ridiculously manly, his balls withstood the attack, and he pursued her, a glass bottle raised above his head.

"Stand and fight, Satan!"

She grabbed his saber. "Back, you savage beast! Stay back!"

(OOC: Let's end this soon, though. I wasn't intending it to turn out like this...)

She grabbed his saber. "Back, you savage beast! Stay back!"

(OOC: Let's end this soon, though. I wasn't intending it to turn out like this...)

Antonius lost interest and passed out, waking up several minutes later on a couch in the main reception room.

((OOC: Soon enough?))

Antonius lost interest and passed out, waking up several minutes later on a couch in the main reception room.

((OOC: Soon enough?))

(OOC: Yup, thanks!)

When he awakened, he saw a very beautiful woman sitting on his laps. She waved flirtatiously. "Hey, sugar," she said.

Can I pick up the threads?

The first lady look alike then searched Antonius's person and found a large quantity of wine, which she brought back with her to the guest bedchambers. However, it was empty.

Dailey was already awake, walking around, greeting other guests and denouncing civil rights in a resounding fashion. He was, evidently, not in his right mind.

(OOC: Yup, thanks!)

When he awakened, he saw a very beautiful woman sitting on his laps. She waved flirtatiously. "Hey, sugar," she said.

Antonius picked the woman up and carried her into the back room. A woman's scream eminated from inside, and Antonius rushed out and into another, unoccupied back room.

Can I pick up the threads?

The first lady look alike then searched Antonius's person and found a large quantity of wine, which she brought back with her to the guest bedchambers. However, it was empty.

Dailey was already awake, walking around, greeting other guests and denouncing civil rights in a resounding fashion. He was, evidently, not in his right mind.

She grabbed his hand. "Ahem. We have unfinished business, you." She hauled him back into the bedroom.

Antonius picked the woman up and carried her into the back room. A woman's scream eminated from inside, and Antonius rushed out and into another, unoccupied back room.

A guard stomped into the room. "What the hell did you do to her?"

A guard stomped into the room. "What the hell did you do to her?"

Antonius poked his head out from beneath the sheets. Soon afterwards the head of the beautiful woman appeared, an annoyed expression on her face after having been interrupted.

"The other room was occupied. Go see for yourself."

Lord Varus appeared in the doorway, wearing one of J.L.'s bathrobes.

"What seems to be the problem officer?"

Jack, after watching several of the guests try to kill each other, decieded to pour himself another large whiskey and rye.


ooc: sorry, I felt the urge to post something

She grabbed his hand. "Ahem. We have unfinished business, you." She hauled him back into the bedroom.


"And that, my friends, is why we need to execute everyone who makes fun of parabolas! Now, take a look at this brochure describing the execution proce--" Dailey (who was standing on a table, in the middle of a passionate speech) was interrupted by the first lady lookalike. The brochure dropped from his hand, and he leered. "Well, hello...."

And he thought, Wow! The first lady of Roach Busters! This is awesome!

And he was led back into the bedroom. And there was much rejoicing.

"And that, my friends, is why we need to execute everyone who makes fun of parabolas! Now, take a look at this brochure describing the execution proce--" Dailey (who was standing on a table, in the middle of a passionate speech) was interrupted by the first lady lookalike. The brochure dropped from his hand, and leered. "Well, hello...."

And he thought, Wow! The first lady of Roach Busters! This is awesome!

And he was led back into the bedroom. And there was much rejoicing.

(OOC: Dude, she's not the First Lady. She's a woman who looks like her.)

Antonius poked his head out from beneath the sheets. Soon afterwards the head of the beautiful woman appeared, an annoyed expression on her face after having been interrupted.

"The other room was occupied. Go see for yourself."

Lord Varus appeared in the doorway, wearing one of J.L.'s bathrobes.

"What seems to be the problem officer?"

"Nothing. I just thought somebody was getting murdered."

(OOC: Dude, she's not the First Lady. She's a woman who looks like her.)

(OOC: Oh, I know that. Dailey is, er, undergoing some mental problems at the moment. He loses his memory every so often. Sorry if that inconveniences you. )

Karl simply shrugged and poured himself a whiskey, as well.

(OOC: Oh, I know that. Dailey is, er, undergoing some mental problems at the moment. He loses his memory every so often. Sorry if that inconveniences you. )

(OOC: No, that's fine.)

Helldawg looked up at the other leaders, and down at a bottle of whiskey. He'd passed out for a few hours and missed what had happened.

"Uggghhh, damn, I really gotta limit myself." he groaned.

Helldawg looked up at the other leaders, and down at a bottle of whiskey. He'd passed out for a few hours and missed what had happened.

"Uggghhh, damn, I really gotta limit myself." he groaned.

J.L. shook his head sympathetically. "Easy, buddy."

J.L. shook his head sympathetically. "Easy, buddy."

Karl said, "I know, Gott du lieber, man.....you look like crap, excuse me."

In the limo, Moua and Kimiko kissed vigorously. Reaching into his pocket, he took out a wedding ring. He showed it to her. "Will you marry me, babe?"

Antonius staggered out of the room, drained yet another bottle of Black Death Vodka, and passed out.

the doors opened and a man dressed in black entered, looking around the room he saw passed out peple all over the place.
In one corner he saw a bunch throwing darts at a what he could only guess was a communist since he had a bright red star painted on his arse.
Next to the men with the red stars painted on them he saw one lying on the floor pumped full of bullets, a smirk appeared on his face.
The man then silently made his way to the bar, ordered a JD with rocks and then sat himself down in a comfortable armchair thinking "this is how a grand opening should look".
He gave Generalissimo J.L. an aprooving nod.

Antonius staggered out of the room, drained yet another bottle of Black Death Vodka, and passed out.
Helldawg stood up in his drunken insanity, saluted Antonius, drained a full bottle of whiskey down his throat, and passed out where he stood. Well, he'd be screwing the guy's daughter soon enough.

In the limo, Moua and Kimiko kissed vigorously. Reaching into his pocket, he took out a wedding ring. He showed it to her. "Will you marry me, babe?"

Kimiko smiled and said, "Fuck yeah! Of course, will I have ot live at your place, or mine?"

Kimiko smiled and said, "Fuck yeah! Of course, will I have ot live at your place, or mine?"

"Either one, babe," he said, kissing her.

the doors opened and a man dressed in black entered, looking around the room he saw passed out peple all over the place.
In one corner he saw a bunch throwing darts at a what he could only guess was a communist since he had a bright red star painted on his arse.
Next to the men with the red stars painted on them he saw one lying on the floor pumped full of bullets, a smirk appeared on his face.
The man then silently made his way to the bar, ordered a JD with rocks and then sat himself down in a comfortable armchair thinking "this is how a grand opening should look".
He gave Generalissimo J.L. an aprooving nod.

The bartender handed him a JD with rocks. "Here you are, sir."

"Either one, babe," he said, kissing her.

Kimiko said, "Think I'll go to yours, Karl wants to kill me, those Fascians put ideas in his head....."

Kimiko said, "Think I'll go to yours, Karl wants to kill me, those Fascians put ideas in his head....."

"I'll have the RB secret police eliminate them for you, my dear," he promised.

bump

(8,600 posts and still going on strong :D)

"I'll have the RB secret police eliminate them for you, my dear," he promised.

Kimiko twiddled her fingers, Mr. Burns-style, and said, "Excellent...."

Kimiko twiddled her fingers, Mr. Burns-style, and said, "Excellent...."

Moua, unfathomably excited by her amorous finger twiddling, began kissing her with undisguised enthusiasm.

Moua, unfathomably excited by her amorous finger twiddling, began kissing her with undisguised enthusiasm.

Kimiko commenced doing likewise.... ;)

Kimiko commenced doing likewise.... ;)

"Soon, you'll be Kimiko Moua," he said, chuckling eagerly.

The next thing they knew, they reached his mansion.

Antonius slowly came to. Above him, Lord Varus was hanging from his feet, half naked, and tied to a chandelier as a French maid tickled him with a feather duster. Antonius slowly got to his feet, and took a seat in an armchair in front of the fire.

Antonius slowly came to. Above him, Lord Varus was hanging from his feet, half naked, and tied to a chandelier as a French maid tickled him with a feather duster. Antonius slowly got to his feet, and took a seat in an armchair in front of the fire.

"So, how's it going, Antonius?" Thiansiri asked.

"Soon, you'll be Kimiko Moua," he said, chuckling eagerly.

The next thing they knew, they reached his mansion.

Kimiko said, "Awesome, this is a nice place you have," describing Moua's mansion.


OOC: Last post for tonight...

Kimiko said, "Awesome, this is a nice place you have," describing Moua's mansion.


OOC: Last post for tonight...

Leading her by the hand, he brought her into his bedroom. He winked. "Baby, you're about to experience the greatest night of your life."

He turned the lights out, and RB censored the scene to avoid incurring the wrath of the moderators.

"So, how's it going, Antonius?" Thiansiri asked.

"Where am I?"

IC:

Shadowlord Magnus Stra'coth strode into the party rather later than usual, he saw many friends from the Evil Dictators Gentlemens club. One of which was Emperor Helldawg, who at the moment comatosed on the floor.

Bloody Doomingslandian, starting without me like usual

He sighed heavily and promptly kicked the Emperor.

Wake up you drunk bastard.

He noticed Antonius and waved at him in a friendly manner, whilst kicking the Emperor til he woke up.

bump

Leading her by the hand, he brought her into his bedroom. He winked. "Baby, you're about to experience the greatest night of your life."

He turned the lights out, and RB censored the scene to avoid incurring the wrath of the moderators.

Afterwards, she said, "Whoowee! That was the most fun in a while!"

IC:

Shadowlord Magnus Stra'coth strode into the party rather later than usual, he saw many friends from the Evil Dictators Gentlemens club. One of which was Emperor Helldawg, who at the moment comatosed on the floor.

Bloody Doomingslandian, starting without me like usual

He sighed heavily and promptly kicked the Emperor.

Wake up you drunk bastard.

He noticed Antonius and waved at him in a friendly manner, whilst kicking the Emperor til he woke up.
The Emperor was annoyed to be woken from his slumber, and grabbed Magnus' foot as he was about to land another kick, and knocked him on his ass.

"Ugggghhh, don't do that..." he muttered, attempting to stand up straight.

Afterwards, she said, "Whoowee! That was the most fun in a while!"

"How about an encore performance?" he asked.

"How about an encore performance?" he asked.


"Hold on a moment. You got any of that Red Bull stuff?" Kimiko said.

Professor Michael Walter suddenly materialised in the middle of the room holding a toaster and a bag of bread.

He hadn't expected to suddenly materialise.

After a few seconds of pondering he declared, with the pure eccentricity expected from an academic, "Toast anyone? White toast of course."

A Blackhawk with the Omega symbol landed on the roof of the palace. R.L. stepped out flustered and exhausted.
Damn liberals, it takes forever to wipe those new cells they're trying to plant in my region. Human rights my ass!

He took an elevator down to the main ballrom and stepped out to see many national leaders already present.
R.L.: Well, at least I know there are SOME people out there who feel the same way.

Outside the totally awesome place where the party is happening...

Enemies incoming....

"Not this time you commie freaks!"

Missiles incoming...

"Uh oh!"

Emperor Hannibal sat in the cockpit of his helicopter, shooting away at communist insurgents. Missiles flew left and right as they tired to kill him. All of a sudden, a picture of Bo Bo the Clown appeared on the windshield.

"^&@#! Not the last boss!" he cried as Bo Bo unleashed a horde of water-canisters which blew up his helicopter. The words Game Over flashed on the screen as his All High Lord Praetor of Fun and Pain Steve walked in the room.

"Sir, we have landed outside Generalissimo J.L.'s place."

"Y4Y! B00Z3! 1337!" squealed the Emperor as he ran from the cockpit towards the building. As Steve walked behind him, he thought to himself :How in god's name is he speaking in numbers? and walked forward.

Inside the party-place(You never DID say where the party was.)

As Hannibal entered the room, he snapped his fingers and, seemingly out of no-where, 10 armed Imperial Guards appeared at his side. He then put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a walkman. After fiddling around with it for a while, he put it on Steve's head and pluged a wire into his neck. When he flipped the "on" switch, the song "Dragostea din tei" began to come out of Steves mouth:

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc
Si te rog, ubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu, Picasso
Ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Nu-ma, nu-ma iei, nu-ma, nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Nu-ma, nu-ma iei, nu-ma, nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.


Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt, acum
Alo, iubirea mea sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso
Ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic.

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha
Vrei sa pleci dar nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Nu-ma, nu-ma iei, nu-ma, nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.


Vrei sa pleci dar nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Nu-ma, nu-ma iei, nu-ma, nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.


He walked down the hall, found the nearest butler, and then punched him in the face. He then walked a few more feet, found another butler, and asked him for a shot of whiskey. After accepting and tasting the shot, he walked over to where J.L. and an incredibly hot lassie were talking. "Hey, buddy, whassssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!?!"

As Hannibal entered the room, he snapped his fingers and, seemingly out of no-where, 10 armed Imperial Guards appeared at his side. He then put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a walkman. After fiddling around with it for a while, he put it on Steve's head and pluged a wire into his neck. When he flipped the "on" switch, the song "Dragostea din tei" began to come out of Steves mouth:

[i]Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc
Si te rog, ubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu, Picasso
Ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Nu-ma, nu-ma iei, nu-ma, nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Nu-ma, nu-ma iei, nu-ma, nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.


Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt, acum
Alo, iubirea mea sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso
Ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic.

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha

Miia-hii,
miia-hoo,
miia-ha,
miia-haha
Vrei sa pleci dar nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Nu-ma, nu-ma iei, nu-ma, nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.


Vrei sa pleci dar nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Nu-ma, nu-ma iei, nu-ma, nu-ma, nu-ma iei
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.


OOC: I have that song stuck in my head, unfortunately, thanks to eBaum's World....... :headbang:

OOC: I have that song stuck in my head, unfortunately, thanks to eBaum's World....... :headbang:

OOC: I'm listening to the (full) song on my walkman right now :D

OOC: I'm listening to the (full) song on my walkman right now :D

OOC: lol........ :D

You understand Romanian?

Through the great doors of the locale of the party, Shah Khosru walked through, flanked by four Immortals in blue and gold dress uniforms. The Shah himself wore the uniform of a field marshall, white shirt and pants with gold trimming and a belt of gold with a buckle of a single gigantic emerald. His gilded and jeweled sword sat on his hip and glowed in the light. He wore a ring of a 30 karat diamond which sparkled like the sun. It was a display of opulence. Shah walked up to JL and spoke, "My friend, It is excellent to meet you again. Do you have any Shooban slaves here so I can get myself some smoke?"

Professor Walter walked over to Generalissimo J.L. and the small crowd around him.

"In thanks for hosting this lovely do, I present you with a loaf of bread, handing it in Generalissimo's direction."

OOC: lol........ :D

You understand Romanian?


OOC: No :D. But I wanna(its one of the only Romance languages that hasn't been influenced by the Catholic Church and most languages.)

Professor Walter walked over to Generalissimo J.L. and the small crowd around him.

"In thanks for hosting this lovely do, I present you with a loaf of bread, handing it in Generalissimo's direction."

"Thanks, Professor," J.L. said, shaking his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Through the great doors of the locale of the party, Shah Khosru walked through, flanked by four Immortals in blue and gold dress uniforms. The Shah himself wore the uniform of a field marshall, white shirt and pants with gold trimming and a belt of gold with a buckle of a single gigantic emerald. His gilded and jeweled sword sat on his hip and glowed in the light. He wore a ring of a 30 karat diamond which sparkled like the sun. It was a display of opulence. Shah walked up to JL and spoke, "My friend, It is excellent to meet you again. Do you have any Shooban slaves here so I can get myself some smoke?"

"My dear friend, it is indeed a pleasure to see you again," J.L. said. "Thanks for coming. Yes, I do have some slaves. GO GET THE SHAH SOME SMOKE, YOU LOUSY, FILTHY, RAT-FACED, SHIT-HEELED BARBARIANS!!!!!"

Whimpering like puppies, the Shoobans scurried out of the room to get some cigarettes and cigars.

"Thanks, Professor," J.L. said, shaking his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"And a pleasure to meet you too," replied the Professor holding onto the toaster with all his might.
"Can't trust foriegners," he thought.

"Would you like to help fund my latest research project," asked Walter.

"Hold on a moment. You got any of that Red Bull stuff?" Kimiko said.

"Yes, I do," Moua said, and left the room to get it.

He entered the hallway, and Kimiko heard screams.

He ran back in, got dressed, and then left again.

"And a pleasure to meet you too," replied the Professor holding onto the toaster with all his might.
"Can't trust foriegners," he thought.

"Would you like to help fund my latest research project," asked Walter.

"Sure," J.L. said. "What sort of project?"

"I am working with the Political Science Department to disprove the Fundemental Theory of Human Rights. That will show the dirty liberals and evil socialists. But to do such a thing we need funding, for all the wine and the new mansion."

Through the great doors of the locale of the party, Shah Khosru walked through, flanked by four Immortals in blue and gold dress uniforms. The Shah himself wore the uniform of a field marshall, white shirt and pants with gold trimming and a belt of gold with a buckle of a single gigantic emerald. His gilded and jeweled sword sat on his hip and glowed in the light. He wore a ring of a 30 karat diamond which sparkled like the sun. It was a display of opulence. Shah walked up to JL and spoke, "My friend, It is excellent to meet you again. Do you have any Shooban slaves here so I can get myself some smoke?"
The Emperor was in a major hangover when he spotted his good friend, the Shah. He walked over to greet him,

"Hello, my friend. How go things in Parthia?"

The door to the guest bedroom creaked open, and out stepped Dailey, groaning. It took him effort to walk, probably because the entire weight of his - and maybe not just his - body had been on his right leg for much of the night. He didn't know what time it is - it was glaring bright outside, so it couldn't be night time, but that was all he could discern - and, still dressed in his robes and with his hair still frizzled, he walked towards the party again.

He had no idea what had happened the night before, how he had ended up in the guest bedroom, and why the bed sheets were all torn.

"Yes, I do," Moua said, and left the room to get it.

He entered the hallway, and Kimiko heard screams.

He ran back in, got dressed, and then left again.

Kimiko got dressed, grabbed her Colt Defender and said "What's going on?"

Kimiko got dressed, grabbed her Colt Defender and said "What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing, babe. They were just shocked to see me, uh...you know."

"I am working with the Political Science Department to disprove the Fundemental Theory of Human Rights. That will show the dirty liberals and evil socialists. But to do such a thing we need funding, for all the wine and the new mansion."

"I'll wire you a billion dollars," J.L. said, shrugging as if it were no big deal.

The door to the guest bedroom creaked open, and out stepped Dailey, groaning. It took him effort to walk, probably because the entire weight of his - and maybe not just his - body had been on his right leg for much of the night. He didn't know what time it is - it was glaring bright outside, so it couldn't be night time, but that was all he could discern - and, still dressed in his robes and with his hair still frizzled, he walked towards the party again.

He had no idea what had happened the night before, how he had ended up in the guest bedroom, and why the bed sheets were all torn.

A butler looked at him peculiarly. "Um...are you all right, sir?"

"Oh, hi, J.L," said the secretary of state absentmindedly to the butler, a dazed look on his face. "I'm fine, I think. Where's your wife? I think I might've slept with her last night."

He walked forward, dazed, until he walked straight into a wall. Smarting from this encounter, his mood changed again. "Oh, hi, butler. I'm fine. Might have a nosebleed. Say, which way to the party? And can I have some vod-ka?"

"Oh, hi, J.L," said the secretary of state absentmindedly to the butler, a dazed look on his face. "I'm fine, I think. Where's your wife? I think I might've slept with her last night."

He walked forward, dazed, until he walked straight into a wall. Smarting from this encounter, his mood changed again. "Oh, hi, butler. I'm fine. Might have a nosebleed. Say, which way to the party? And can I have some vod-ka?"

The butler smacked Dailey across the face. "Come to your senses, man!"

"I'll wire you a billion dollars," J.L. said, shrugging as if it were no big deal.
"Thank you," said the Professor, who smiled and then walked off holding his toaster.

The smack seemed to have moved Dailey down yet another layer of personality, although it did hurt quite a bit. "Wha...??" He paused, looking at the butler, who gazed inquiringly at him. Perplexed at his expression, Dailey mistook him to be confused. "If you're looking for the grand opening ceremonies, it's that way. Can I help you? I'm George Dailey, secretary of state, Zoogiedom."

He offered his hand to shake.

"Thank you," said the Professor, who smiled and then walked off holding his toaster.

"Glad I could help," J.L. said warmly.

The smack seemed to have moved Dailey down yet another layer of personality, although it did hurt quite a bit. "Wha...??" He paused, looking at the butler, who gazed inquiringly at him. Perplexed at his expression, Dailey mistook him to be confused. "If you're looking for the grand opening ceremonies, it's that way. Can I help you? I'm George Dailey, secretary of state, Zoogiedom."

He offered his hand to shake.

The butler took a massive hammer (the kind in cartoons), and bashed Dailey over the head. "SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!"

OOC: He was snapped out of it. Now you have created an intelligent human being out of him. Shame, shame ;)

A giant anvil-like hammer came crashing down on Dailey, who yelped as he was knocked senselessly into the ground. This awakened yet another layer of Dailey's consciousness, one that was tapped into not very often. For the first time, he acquired the ability to use thought, observation, and critical situational analysis.

Butlers sure are loaded these days, he observed. Then, even more astonishing, he remembered. Wait a minute...every time I change personality, the butler appears to be only more agitated. He wants to be told this is all a dream, or a joke. Or I could see how much more cognizant I could...no, better not risk it.

"Okay, okay," he said. "I was kidding. I'm fine." He dusted himself off and pushed back the giant indent in his head.

"Oh, nothing, babe. They were just shocked to see me, uh...you know."

Kimiko went, "MMkay...."

OOC: Check TG's.

Emperor Antonius woke up on the floor in a puddle of his own drool. The guitar solo from Cocaine was repeating over and over in his head, and he smelled of Indian food and raw alcohol.

He staggered to his feet, and mumbled something incoherent. He could have sworn he saw Lord Varus scurrying over the ceiling above him, but he realized it was a spider. Lord Varus was too busy scurrying around in the airvents to be on the ceiling.

Antonius called a butler over to him, and 'spoke'.

"Mgrabble, grrraaavodka....Gahhhrbbarghhhrrraaaa, grbbhhhrgh glllh graghhha grghhhvodka!"

"Antonius, are you all right?" J.L. asked. He took out his cell phone and immediately called for an ambulance.

Remind me never to serve alcohol at parties ever again, he thought.

"Antonius, are you all right?" J.L. asked. He took out his cell phone and immediately called for an ambulance.

Remind me never to serve alcohol at parties ever again, he thought.

By the time J.L. had finished the call, Antonius had disappeared, missing several articles of clothing and suffering from a remarkable hangover.

By the time J.L. had finished the call, Antonius had disappeared, missing several articles of clothing and suffering from a remarkable hangover.

"I want Antonius found. Immediately." J.L.'s voice was thick with panic. He dispatched one-hundred SWAT team members to search for Antonius, so they could bring him to the hospital.

The Shah smiled as the hapless slave went off to fetch a cigar and then said to JL, "This sure is a club which is built for enlightened leaders like ourselves. Great work my friend."

The Shah then turned to Helldawg, "In Parthia everything is excellent, we have hundreds of concubines, alcohol flows like water, cigars grow from trees, and some commies are about to be impaled for insulting me. Are things the same in Doomingsland?"

"A glass of your best red waiter," yelled out the Professor.

He didn't know where the waiters were, but they would certainly hear him.

The Shah smiled as the hapless slave went off to fetch a cigar and then said to JL, "This sure is a club which is built for enlightened leaders like ourselves. Great work my friend."

The Shah then turned to Helldawg, "In Parthia everything is excellent, we have hundreds of concubines, alcohol flows like water, cigars grow from trees, and some commies are about to be impaled for insulting me. Are things the same in Doomingsland?"
"As always, but rather than impaled, we bathe our commies in molten silver, wait for it to cool down and harden, slice it in half down the middle, and hang up the silver molding of the traitor as he died of either suffocation or burning. Much more entertaining, I might add"

"As always, but rather than impaled, we bathe our commies in molten silver, wait for it to cool down and harden, slice it in half down the middle, and hang up the silver molding of the traitor as he died of either suffocation or burning. Much more entertaining, I might add"

Karl, who was still there, said, "I prefer a guilltoine myself. Gets the job done a bit too quickly, but it gives the people a good show."

R.L. grew tired of raiding the buffet and strode over to J.L.
R.L.: Genius idea, this should flush the last communist cell out of my nation. Once they themselves, I have some new public execution methods I've been dying to try. This crackdown on all things non right wing has one of my better ideas. Can you believe I had 6 commies in my senate? SIX! They're currently being detained in something I call a "Death Cubicle"

Karl, who was still there, said, "I prefer a guilltoine myself. Gets the job done a bit too quickly, but it gives the people a good show."
"Ah, if you want a good show, you should stop in my country. For mass entertainment, we hold gladiatorial games or fights with animals for executions of common criminals, the old Roman way. It's our national sport, as a matter of fact. Besides, there's nothing more satisfying than watching an IG infected lion tear a man to pieces for nothing more than petty theft. Muahahaha."

"Ah, if you want a good show, you should stop in my country. For mass entertainment, we hold gladiatorial games or fights with animals for executions of common criminals, the old Roman way. It's our national sport, as a matter of fact. Besides, there's nothing more satisfying than watching an IG infected lion tear a man to pieces for nothing more than petty theft. Muahahaha."

Karl said, "Hm...intriguing. What of Crucifixition? My men did that to some Reds in RB not but a while ago. I loved it personally, those bastards got what was going to them."

Karl said, "Hm...intriguing. What of Crucifixition? My men did that to some Reds in RB not but a while ago. I loved it personally, those bastards got what was going to them."
"I know, I believe some of our legionaires took part in the battle. They prefer to personally put their prisoners to the sword. Ah, crucifixion, it was me who made the suggestion to add a cross to the RB Execution Storefront."

"I'm constructing a colosseum myself," J.L. said. "Criminals will fight to the death against dinosaurs using nothing but plastic knives. If somehow they win- not happening- they'll face me in a duel. I will have a revolver with six bullets, and they will have an empty Super Soaker. If they win the duel, they will be set free...in a jungle filled with Spinosaurs. Genius, no?"

R.L. grew tired of raiding the buffet and strode over to J.L.
R.L.: Genius idea, this should flush the last communist cell out of my nation. Once they themselves, I have some new public execution methods I've been dying to try. This crackdown on all things non right wing has one of my better ideas. Can you believe I had 6 commies in my senate? SIX! They're currently being detained in something I call a "Death Cubicle"

"A Death Cubicle, eh?" J.L. inquired, stroking his stubbled chin thoughtfully. "Sounds intriguing. What does it do?"

"I'm constructing a colosseum myself," J.L. said. "Criminals will fight to the death against dinosaurs using nothing but plastic knives. If somehow they win- not happening- they'll face me in a duel. I will have a revolver with six bullets, and they will have an empty Super Soaker. If they win the duel, they will be set free...in a jungle filled with Spinosaurs. Genius, no?"

Karl said, "Excellent," Mr. Burns style. "Are you interested in psychic infantry?"

Karl said, "Excellent," Mr. Burns style. "Are you interested in psychic infantry?"

"Uh, sure," J.L. said. "What is it?"

"Uh, sure," J.L. said. "What is it?"

SECRET IC:

Karl said, whispering to J.L.: "My organization, the RALM, has been developing a psychic infantry program, Project Cardcaptor. Apparently, the Shogun wishes it to be used to make a 'magical girl' but I think it could have other combat uses.....our resident scientist, Dr. Antonescu, will be glad to help you with anything, if you are interested, these troopers can bend time, shoot fire, lift objects with their mind, etc."

SECRET IC:

Karl said, whispering to J.L.: "My organization, the RALM, has been developing a psychic infantry program, Project Cardcaptor. Apparently, the Shogun wishes it to be used to make a 'magical girl' but I think it could have other combat uses.....our resident scientist, Dr. Antonescu, will be glad to help you with anything, if you are interested, these troopers can bend time, shoot fire, lift objects with their mind, etc."

"I'll definitely consider it," J.L. said. "Thanks."

Karl said, "Don't mention it. Say, where did Kimiko go?"

Karl said, "Don't mention it. Say, where did Kimiko go?"

"She's being 'entertained' by a member of my Cabinet," J.L. said. "Don't worry, she's safe."

"She's being 'entertained' by a member of my Cabinet," J.L. said. "Don't worry, she's safe."

Karl said, "Good....I swear, she is destroying our movement. I hate Kahta too, but her World War for Toyota is irrational."

OOC: note: he does not reflect the majority of RALM opinion.

Moua asked, "So who is that Karl guy, anyway?"

Moua asked, "So who is that Karl guy, anyway?"

Kimiko frowned, "Karl von Esling, an ex-Stasi agent, born 1960, became a master of cruelty and torture when he was only 20, good at spying, and he makes a great cup of tea. Gun nut as well, he prefers US guns to Soviet. Usually he is very reliable, but recently, those damn Fascians, he feels that I'm acting all screwy.....I think he's insane. That is kinda why I hired him, what and his love of Robotech, and Godzilla. he leads the Tokko, lately, he has amassed a Private Guard of 12,000 men, very loyal and violent. They creep me out."

Inside the Party Place

Emperor Hannibal couldn't get it. He had Steve playing Dragostea din tei, 10 Uber-shock troopers, and had said "whasssap" in his best voice, but J.L. STILL didn't recognise him. Now, an hour later and really pissed off, he tried again.

YO! J.L.! WHASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAP

If this didn't work, he'd just go over to where the cheetos were.

"Ah, if you want a good show, you should stop in my country. For mass entertainment, we hold gladiatorial games or fights with animals for executions of common criminals, the old Roman way. It's our national sport, as a matter of fact. Besides, there's nothing more satisfying than watching an IG infected lion tear a man to pieces for nothing more than petty theft. Muahahaha."

"We have Parthian hunts, where nobles and myself hunt down dregs of society with bows and arrows on horseback."

The Shah took the Cohiba cigar from the Shooban slave and then used the cutter to slice the tip of the cigar in a lightning fast movement before lighting up with his gold and platinum butane lighter. The Shah drew in deeply before exhaling the smoke in a cloud directly into the Shooban's face.

Inside the Party Place

Emperor Hannibal couldn't get it. He had Steve playing Dragostea din tei, 10 Uber-shock troopers, and had said "whasssap" in his best voice, but J.L. STILL didn't recognise him. Now, an hour later and really pissed off, he tried again.

YO! J.L.! WHASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAP

If this didn't work, he'd just go over to where the cheetos were.

"Hello, Hannibal," J.L. said, shaking his hand. "How are you, old friend?"

"We have Parthian hunts, where nobles and myself hunt down dregs of society with bows and arrows on horseback."

The Shah took the Cohiba cigar from the Shooban slave and then used the cutter to slice the tip of the cigar in a lightning fast movement before lighting up with his gold and platinum butane lighter. The Shah drew in deeply before exhaling the smoke in a cloud directly into the Shooban's face.

"So, how are things in Parthia, my friend?" J.L. asked. "I hope the cigar is to your liking? If there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask- nay, demand- one of my Shoobans for it."

"We have Parthian hunts, where nobles and myself hunt down dregs of society with bows and arrows on horseback."

The Shah took the Cohiba cigar from the Shooban slave and then used the cutter to slice the tip of the cigar in a lightning fast movement before lighting up with his gold and platinum butane lighter. The Shah drew in deeply before exhaling the smoke in a cloud directly into the Shooban's face.
"Of course, I went on the last one, remember? Such fun, especialy when I nailed that Shooban in the face from 500 meters. He was hiding in a tree, too." he said with a cruel smile, looking at the Shooban.

"Of course, I went on the last one, remember? Such fun, especialy when I nailed that Shooban in the face from 500 meters. He was hiding in a tree, too." he said with a cruel smile, looking at the Shooban.

J.L. handed Emperor Helldawg and the Shah both rifles. "I have hundreds of Shoobans out back who are of no use to me, so you can do some hunting if you mood moves you."

J.L. handed Emperor Helldawg and the Shah both rifles. "I have hundreds of Shoobans out back who are of no use to me, so you can do some hunting if you mood moves you."

Karl, hearing this, walked to J.L. "Did I hear Shoobans? I have heard they are fun to hunt, but I also hear they are dutiful servants, I might need some for our new Shin-Nihon Colony."

Karl, hearing this, walked to J.L. "Did I hear Shoobans? I have heard they are fun to hunt, but I also hear they are dutiful servants, I might need some for our new Shin-Nihon Colony."

"I'll sell you 10,000 for $16.47," J.L. said. He handed Karl a rifle. "And yes, they're quite fun to hunt. They are very stupid creatures, yet damned good servants. They'll do anything well if it means bread crumbs and a cup of filthy water."

"I'll sell you 10,000 for $16.47," J.L. said. He handed Karl a rifle. "And yes, they're quite fun to hunt. They are very stupid creatures, yet damned good servants. They'll do anything well if it means bread crumbs and a cup of filthy water."

Karl smiled. "It is a deal, just airfreight them to New Newport City, and by the way, I think I'll do some hunting.......and as for the rifle, no thanks..."

Karl pulled out a .357 King Cobra, gold-plated with an Iron Cross on the side.

"I have my own gun."

"So, how are things in Parthia, my friend?" J.L. asked. "I hope the cigar is to your liking? If there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask- nay, demand- one of my Shoobans for it."

"The cigar, and your hospitality are excellent. Though, I could probably use a drink, perhaps cogniac." The Shah then grabbed a passing Shooban's neck with his powerful, muscled hands and screamed, "GET ME A COGNIAC OR I WILL BREAK YOUR NECK IN MY GRIP!" As soon as he was let go the poor servant ran off to grab the cogniac and brought it back in a minute.

The Shah turned to Helldawg, "Yes, quite a good shot. Though your mace skills are VERY impressive. Lets go shoot some Shoobans for a bit of fun."

Karl smiled. "I think I'll do some hunting.......and no thanks..."

Karl pulled out a .357 King Cobra, gold-plated with an Iron Cross on the side.

"I have my own gun."

"Are you sure?" J.L. asked. "They're 100% obedient, can perform almost all tasks well- as long as there's food involved- and they're very useful if you're in a bad mood and need to vent your anger out on someone. They make these hilarious screaming sounds, like a cross between a baboon choking and a goose honking- when they're abused."

"Are you sure?" J.L. asked. "They're 100% obedient, can perform almost all tasks well- as long as there's food involved- and they're very useful if you're in a bad mood and need to vent your anger out on someone. They make these hilarious screaming sounds, like a cross between a baboon choking and a goose honking- when they're abused."

Karl said, "I meant, no thanks on the rifle.....I will take the Shoobooshans."

"The cigar, and your hospitality are excellent. Though, I could probably use a drink, perhaps cogniac." The Shah then grabbed a passing Shooban's neck with his powerful, muscled hands and screamed, "GET ME A COGNIAC OR I WILL BREAK YOUR NECK IN MY GRIP!" As soon as he was let go the poor servant ran off to grab the cogniac and brought it back in a minute.

The Shah turned to Helldawg, "Yes, quite a good shot. Though your mace skills are VERY impressive. Lets go shoot some Shoobans for a bit of fun."

J.L. smashed his foot into the Shooban's groin, bashed him in the face with his fists, and kicked his chin, dislocating the lower hinge of his jaw and loosening several teeth. "That's what you get for making the Shah wait nearly sixty seconds for his drink!"

After the bloodied, battered, bruised Shooban mournfully left J.L.'s presence, he turned back to the Shah. "Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying my hospitality. Would you and Helldawg care to do some Shooban hunting out back?"

Karl said, "I meant, no thanks on the rifle.....I will take the Shoobooshans."

"I'll have them shipped right away," J.L. said. "A personal tip: try kicking them in the knee, elbow, or ear. Their screams sound the funniest when you kick them in those places."

"I'll have them shipped right away," J.L. said. "A personal tip: try kicking them in the knee, elbow, or ear. Their screams sound the funniest when you kick them in those places."

Karl said, "I will take your word for it. Believe me, years as a Stasi has taught me which parts make the most entertaining reactions. Can you twist their ears?"

J.L. smashed his foot into the Shooban's groin, bashed him in the face with his fists, and kicked his chin, dislocating the lower hinge of his jaw and loosening several teeth. "That's what you get for making the Shah wait nearly sixty seconds for his drink!"

After the bloodied, battered, bruised Shooban mournfully left J.L.'s presence, he turned back to the Shah. "Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying my hospitality. Would you and Helldawg care to do some Shooban hunting out back?"

"Thank you for taking care of the lazy scum my friend. I think some hunting would be good, though you should join us."

The Shah drank a bit of the cogniac before once again drawing from the cigar.

"Thank you for taking care of the lazy scum my friend. I think some hunting would be good, though you should join us."

The Shah drank a bit of the cogniac before once again drawing from the cigar.

"You're welcome. I would be delighted to join, of course. By the way, have you ever kicked a Shooban's ear before? They make the funniest sound!" He dragged a Shooban over to the Shah by the neck, so the Shah could try it.

Karl said, "I will take your word for it. Believe me, years as a Stasi has taught me which parts make the most entertaining reactions. Can you twist their ears?"

J.L. handed Karl a wrench. "Let's try it!"

"You're welcome. I would be delighted to join, of course. By the way, have you ever kicked a Shooban's ear before? They make the funniest sound!" He dragged a Shooban over to the Shah by the neck, so the Shah could try it.

The Shah pulled back his muscled leg and then swiftly kicked the Shooban's ear, smashing the jaw into many pieces and making the poor figure writhe upon the ground in agony and wailing and screaming in a hillarious manner. The Shah laughed heartily, "Sorry JL, I'm just too strong. Not bad for a guy in his late fifties, eh?"

The Shah pulled back his muscled leg and then swiftly kicked the Shooban's ear, smashing the jaw into many pieces and making the poor figure writhe upon the ground in agony and wailing and screaming in a hillarious manner. The Shah laughed heartily, "Sorry JL, I'm just too strong. Not bad for a guy in his late fifties, eh?"

J.L. laughed. "No, not bad at all! Watch this."

J.L. kicked a nearby Shooban in the ear. The Shooban uttered a shrill scream that sounded like a female goose with a sore throat, a four-year-old girl with whooping cough, and a male baboon defending its territory, all at the same time.

J.L. handed Karl a wrench. "Let's try it!"

Karl called a Shoobooshan to him. "You Get over here!"

He grabbed the Shoobooshan, and twisted his ear with the wrench. The Shoobooshan screamed, making the unique noise that J.L. had described. Only, it seemed to be singsongy, and Karl laughed.

Karl called a Shoobooshan to him. "You Get over here!"

He grabbed the Shoobooshan, and twisted his ear with the wrench. The Shoobooshan screamed, making the unique noise that J.L. had described. Only, it seemed to be singsongy, and Karl laughed.

J.L. shouted, "GET ME A TAPE RECORDER, YOU FILTHY F***ING FLEA-INFESTED FOOL!" The Shooban, whimpering, ran out of the room, and returned with it just three seconds later. J.L. smashed the Shooban across the face with a metal baseball bat, as punishment for taking too long. "Worthless bastards," he muttered. "All right, Karl, please twist the other ear. I'll record it this time. That sound was just too funny for words!"

J.L. laughed. "No, not bad at all! Watch this."

J.L. kicked a nearby Shooban in the ear. The Shooban uttered a shrill scream that sounded like a female goose with a sore throat, a four-year-old girl with whooping cough, and a male baboon defending its territory, all at the same time.

The Shah laughed heartily at the pitiful creature rolling on the ground in pain. The Shah then brought his own foot to bear on the Shooban, smashing its skull and killing it after ten seconds of the sound at a high volume.
The Shah then turned to JL, "Quite sorry, I didn't want to cause that much damage. Do you need some recompensation?"

The Shah laughed heartily at the pitiful creature rolling on the ground in pain. The Shah then brought his own foot to bear on the Shooban, smashing its skull and killing it after ten seconds of the sound at a high volume.
The Shah then turned to JL, "Quite sorry, I didn't want to cause that much damage. Do you need some recompensation?"

"No, that's okay." J.L. laughed. "HEY, GET OVER HERE AND CLEAN THIS UP!!!!"

A few Shoobans hurried over to the corpse with plastic spoons and began cleaning up the mess.

"Now, EAT IT!!!!"

Four of the five Shoobans did as they were told. The fifth hesitated. J.L. stood up, glared into his eyes, and whispered very softly, "Would you like to suffer the fate of Carter?"

Whining and rapidly shaking his head, the Shooban immediately did as he was told.

J.L. shouted, "GET ME A TAPE RECORDER, YOU FILTHY F***ING FLEA-INFESTED FOOL!" The Shooban, whimpering, ran out of the room, and returned with it just three seconds later. J.L. smashed the Shooban across the face with a metal baseball bat, as punishment for taking too long. "Worthless bastards," he muttered. "All right, Karl, please twist the other ear. I'll record it this time. That sound was just too funny for words!"

Karl said, "With pleasure."

He twisted the Shoobooshan's other ear, reproducing the noise, as J.L. recorded it on his tape recorder.

OOC: If you want to do that RP involving colonization, you can post confirmation in the link I gave you.

J.L. grabbed a rocket launcher. "Well, I'm ready to begin hunting when you guys are."

J.L. grabbed a rocket launcher. "Well, I'm ready to begin hunting when you guys are."

Karl got his King Cobra, loaded it, spun the chamber, and locked it in.

"Let's kick some ass."

"Definitely, but I'd like to wait until Helldawg and the Shah are ready," J.L. said. He turned to the other guests. "If anyone else wants to join us, meet us out back."

An Immortal accompanying the Shah gave the Shah the M-27 Khosru used to hunt. It was engraved with gold and the gun had a thin layer of ivory on all surfaces where it could be placed. Parts which heat up too much were chromed and engraved with gold and silver. The Shah then turned to JL and followed him to the hunting area.

"Let's go!" J.L. said, leading them outside. "Ohhh, Shooooooooobans!"

On the Shah's chest he had strung a belt of grenades for an M79 strapped to his back. Near him, he saw a group of Shoobans and the perfect oppurtunity to use the M79. He cracked open the launcher and put in a grenade before firing it directly into the group. The nearby Shoobans were rended apart as the Shah placed the M79 on his back and pulled out his M-27 designated marksman weapon, shooting two shoobans with two round bursts and killing them both in quick sucession.

On the Shah's chest he had strung a belt of grenades for an M79 strapped to his back. Near him, he saw a group of Shoobans and the perfect oppurtunity to use the M79. He cracked open the launcher and put in a grenade before firing it directly into the group. The nearby Shoobans were rended apart as the Shah placed the M79 on his back and pulled out his M-27 designated marksman weapon, shooting two shoobans with two round bursts and killing them both in quick sucession.

"Nice one," J.L. said. "If only the lefties could see THIS!!!!"

J.L. aimed at a cute little bunny rabbit and pulled the trigger, blowing it to smithereens.

"Nice one," J.L. said. "If only the lefties could see THIS!!!!"

J.L. aimed at a cute little bunny rabbit and pulled the trigger, blowing it to smithereens.

The Shah laughed heartily, then threw a molotov cocktail at another rabbit and laughed more as it scampered around on fire.

Karl pulled out his Colt King Cobra. With deadly accuracy, he took down each one, one by one, as he fired repeatedly into the Shoobans, causing them to fly back.

Karl smiled. The .357 Magnum round was good, he lived for that kickback effect.

The Shah laughed heartily, then threw a molotov cocktail at another rabbit and laughed more as it scampered around on fire.

J.L. turned around. "You better have caught that on tape, you savage ignoramus!"

"No, mastah, me no tapey-wapey da bonny-robbit go boom-boom," the Shooban slave said.

J.L. nodded. "Shah, you may have the honor of punishing this worthless piece of horse sh*t."

J.L. dumped a bucket of kerosene on a bunch of Shoobans, whipped out a flame-thrower, and roasted them alive. Then, he made some other Shoobans eat their burning brethren while they were still alive, making their mouths catch on fire. Soon, they were all nothing but ashes...which, of course, J.L. made the Shoobans eat.

J.L. turned around. "You better have caught that on tape, you savage ignoramus!"

"No, mastah, me no tapey-wapey da bonny-robbit go boom-boom," the Shooban slave said.

J.L. nodded. "Shah, you may have the honor of punishing this worthless piece of horse sh*t."

The Shah snarled at the Shooban, "You stupid shit, I'm going to make this nice and painful. The Shah removed his sword and then cut the man off from his feet at the ankles, sending him falling back on legs ending with stumps. Then, he took a small jar full of thermite and placed it in the screaming mouth of the Shooban. Then, lighting the magnesium wick with a butane lighter, the mixture ignited and burned the mouth right down into the throat and through the back of the head. Within a few more seconds, his brain was burned to ash and the thermite continued to burn down to his neck and slowly progressed down. He took a bit of cloth from the Shooban's shirt in an area yet to be burned, he wiped the sword clean of blood and put it back on his hip.

The Shah snarled at the Shooban, "You stupid shit, I'm going to make this nice and painful. The Shah removed his sword and then cut the man off from his feet at the ankles, sending him falling back on legs ending with stumps. Then, he took a small jar full of thermite and placed it in the screaming mouth of the Shooban. Then, lighting the magnesium wick with a butane lighter, the mixture ignited and burned the mouth right down into the throat and through the back of the head. Within a few more seconds, his brain was burned to ash and the thermite continued to burn.

J.L. laughed so hard he nearly cried. "Nice work, thanks!"

Then, he snapped his fingers, signalling for the rest of the Shoobans to eat the new corpse.

Sigh thought Hannibal as he saw J.L. and the Shah blow up these strange little people they called "shuoobanms" or something. These people do not know how to really kill someone. How pitiful. Sensing that this would probably be the last chance he had for the moment, he walked up to a J.L. and said "May I?" Even before the generalissimo had a chance to respond, Hannibal pulled an elephant out of thin air and jumped on it. On top was his elephant-mate, Ikbal. "Oy,Ikbal, passa me the 'kip, mmkay?" Ikbla nodded and gave Hannibal 4 7ftspears, a bow, 400 poison-tipped arrows, and a big, gold encrusted scimitar. "Alright, lets ride!"

As the Shoobans finished eating their meal, they heard a tremendous roar. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Hannibal, Ikbar, and Pokey the Elephant appeared. Charging at full speed, Hannibal threw spears into 4 of the Shoobans. "Go on, then, try to get away!" he laughed as the fearful Shoobans fled. He then pulled out his bow and began to arrow away Shoobans left and right. Not missing a single shot, he managed to kill quite a few. "I tire of this," he proclaimed as he slid down the elephants trunk(scimitar and bow in hand) a la Legolas. "Oy, you!" he cried to one of the remaining Shoobans as Ikbal tossed him a Scimitar. Hannibal then nodded towards the Scimitar, and the Shooban picked it up. Not wasting a moment, Hannibal was on him in a flash. Gold-lines blurred as Hannibal sliced and diced the Shooban. After he finished, all that was left of him was 127 neatly sliced Shooban flesh. Then, he turned towards the rest of the Shoobans and put his two hands forward and yelled:

HADOOOOOOOOKEN!

Then, after a blinding flash of light, all that remained of the Shoobans was their fried skeletons.

After he cooled his hands off in the water, he walked back towards the buffett table. While he passed J.L., he said "Great Party, man. Oh, and if ye want, put the price of thoose soobie-whatta things on my tab." Then,chuckling, he walked back to his table and, of course, opened a bag of cheetos and began to munch.

Sigh thought Hannibal as he saw J.L. and the Shah blow up these strange little people they called "shuoobanms" or something. These people do not know how to really kill someone. How pitiful. Sensing that this would probably be the last chance he had for the moment, he walked up to a J.L. and said "May I?" Even before the generalissimo had a chance to respond, Hannibal pulled an elephant out of thin air and jumped on it. On top was his elephant-mate, Ikbal. "Oy,Ikbal, passa me the 'kip, mmkay?" Ikbla nodded and gave Hannibal 4 7ftspears, a bow, 400 poison-tipped arrows, and a big, gold encrusted scimitar. "Alright, lets ride!"

As the Shoobans finished eating their meal, they heard a tremendous roar. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Hannibal, Ikbar, and Pokey the Elephant appeared. Charging at full speed, Hannibal threw spears into 4 of the Shoobans. "Go on, then, try to get away!" he laughed as the fearful Shoobans fled. He then pulled out his bow and began to arrow away Shoobans left and right. Not missing a single shot, he managed to kill quite a few. "I tire of this," he proclaimed as he slid down the elephants trunk(scimitar and bow in hand) a la Legolas. "Oy, you!" he cried to one of the remaining Shoobans as Ikbal tossed him a Scimitar. Hannibal then nodded towards the Scimitar, and the Shooban picked it up. Not wasting a moment, Hannibal was on him in a flash. Gold-lines blurred as Hannibal sliced and diced the Shooban. After he finished, all that was left of him was 127 neatly sliced Shooban flesh. Then, he turned towards the rest of the Shoobans and put his two hands forward and yelled:

HADOOOOOOOOKEN!

Then, after a blinding flash of light, all that remained of the Shoobans was their fried skeletons.

After he cooled his hands off in the water, he walked back towards the buffett table. While he passed J.L., he said "Great Party, man. Oh, and if ye want, put the price of thoose soobie-whatta things on my tab." Then,chuckling, he walked back to his table and, of course, opened a bag of cheetos and began to munch.

Karl's jaw dropped and said, "Mein Gott, man! How did you do that!? I must know..."

Karl's jaw dropped and said, "Mein Gott, man! How did you do that!? I must know..."

"You know the phrase 'You are what you eat'? Well i've discovered 'You are what you play'. And I play Street Fighter: Fifty-bagillion alot.

Oh, and since my name is Hannibal, I can magically summon an Elephant. It's a Punjabi-Carthaginian-Bengali-Now Englander thing."

"You know the phrase 'You are what you eat'? Well i've discovered 'You are what you play'. And I play Street Fighter: Fifty-bagillion alot.

Oh, and since my name is Hannibal, I can magically summon an Elephant. It's a Punjabi-Carthaginian-Bengali-Now Englander thing."

Karl extended his hand. "Hannibal, eh? I am Karl von Esling, Marquis of Newport City and head of the Tokko. Intriguing, I must play Street Fighter more. The Shogun, she loves fighting games."

Professor Walter yelled out for all to hear, "Buy a copy of my upcoming book, The Myth of Rights. This will cover my current research into the mythical concept of human rights. For a billion dollars a copy, the book will be an absolute steal, as it will give everyone of you the moral authority to abuse the liberal fallacy."

J.L. laughed, applauding happily. "Excellent job, Hannibal, excellent! How do you do it, old friend?" He clapped Hannibal on the back and tossed him a gigantic 75-pound bag of cheetos. "Enjoy!"

Professor Walter yelled out for all to hear, "Buy a copy of my upcoming book, The Myth of Rights. This will cover my current research into the mythical concept of human rights. For a billion dollars a copy, the book will be an absolute steal, as it will give everyone of you the moral authority to abuse the liberal fallacy."

"I'll buy 1,525,000,000 of them," J.L. said. "I want everyone in my nation to read this scholarly manual."

Professor Walter yelled out for all to hear, "Buy a copy of my upcoming book, The Myth of Rights. This will cover my current research into the mythical concept of human rights. For a billion dollars a copy, the book will be an absolute steal, as it will give everyone of you the moral authority to abuse the liberal fallacy."

Karl said, "Can it be rendered into a comic book form? If you can do it, it's a deal."

J.L. laughed, applauding happily. "Excellent job, Hannibal, excellent! How do you do it, old friend?" He clapped Hannibal on the back and tossed him a gigantic 75-pound bag of cheetos. "Enjoy!"

"Mmmmmm... Cheetos!" squealed Hannibal as he opened the bag of cheesy goodness.

"Oh, and Mr. Nerdy Magic book of what-not, I'll buy 100 of whatever you are selling! Just take the money out of my countries Civil Rights budget..."

*munch munch munch*

"Mmmmmm... Cheetos!" squealed Hannibal as he opened the bag of cheesy goodness.

"Oh, and Mr. Nerdy Magic book of what-not, I'll buy 100 of whatever you are selling! Just take the money out of my countries Civil Rights budget..."

*munch munch munch*

"Take the cost out of the civil rights budget, eh?" J.L. laughed heartily. "I like your style, Hannibal!"

He tossed him another bag.

"A glass of your best red waiter," yelled out the Professor.

He didn't know where the waiters were, but they would certainly hear him.

"You heard the man, he wants a drink! Go fetch it, you filthy bastard!" J.L. shouted, and began whipping a Shooban. Almost immediately, he returned with the glass, and handed it to the Professor. J.L. took out a revolver and shot the Shooban between the eyes. "Sheesh, good help is so hard to find these days..."

"Stand back, children. Let me show you what true power is," he said stepping out into the back where hundreds of doomed Shoobans stood about. Helldawg bowed his head, and began chanting something in a foul, ancient toungue. The earth beneath him shook and cracked; fire and brimstone rained from the sky. He was suddenly lifted high into the air by an unseen force, and sent plummeting to the ground at mach 3. A vast torrent of blood shot up from where he once was, and the ground split open. A massive demon stepped out wielding a massive spiked mace (that looked suspiciously like Helldawg's). He flapped his massive wings, sending him a few hundred feet into the air. He swooped down onto the horrified Shoobans, smashing them with his mace, and swallowing the whole. The sky seemed to be on fire as this was going on. When it was all over, there was a massive field of slaughtered Shoobans lying about. The sky became calm, and the demon swooped back down into his hole, which sealed up behind him. Suddenly, there was a bright flash, and Helldawg appeared once more in his dark gleaming armor. "Oh, and I'll take ten of those wounderful books."

Fortunately, a Shooban had taped the whole thing. "About time one of you nincompoops did something right," he muttered, and then kicked the Shooban as hard as he could in the crotch, for no particular reason.

"Stand back, children. Let me show you what true power is," he said stepping out into the back where hundreds of doomed Shoobans stood about. Helldawg bowed his head, and began chanting something in a foul, ancient toungue. The earth beneath him shook and cracked; fire and brimstone rained from the sky. He was suddenly lifted high into the air by an unseen force, and sent plummeting to the ground at mach 3. A vast torrent of blood shot up from where he once was, and the ground split open. A massive demon stepped out wielding a massive spiked mace (that looked suspiciously like Helldawg's). He flapped his massive wings, sending him a few hundred feet into the air. He swooped down onto the horrified Shoobans, smashing them with his mace, and swallowing the whole. The sky seemed to be on fire as this was going on. When it was all over, there was a massive field of slaughtered Shoobans lying about. The sky became calm, and the demon swooped back down into his hole, which sealed up behind him. Suddenly, there was a bright flash, and Helldawg appeared once more in his dark gleaming armor. "Oh, and I'll take ten of those wounderful books."

Hannibal was pissed off. It seemed that this funny-little man thought he was better than him. knowing better, Hannibal stood up and pointed a finger at the man.

Are you asking for a CHALLLLAAAAAAAAAANGE?!?!

Fortunately, a Shooban had taped the whole thing. "About time one of you nincompoops did something right," he muttered, and then kicked the Shooban as hard as he could in the crotch, for no particular reason.

Karl just laughed.

Hannibal was pissed off. It seemed that this funny-little man thought he was better than him. knowing better, Hannibal stood up and pointed a finger at the man.

Are you asking for a CHALLLLAAAAAAAAAANGE?!?!
Helldawg, who stood at 7"1, turned and faced Hannibal.

"Depends. What do I get if I win?"

Helldawg, who stood at 7"1, turned and faced Hannibal.

"Depends. What do I get if I win?"

"You shall gain the title of OMFGUBERSHWEETKILLORMOFO1337, AND my Cheetos!"

"1,525,000,000 noted for J.L, 10 for Helldawg and 100 for Hannibal," said Professor Walter holding onto a wine glass with one arm and his toaster under the other, "Sorry but academic papers don't tend to come in comic book form, Mr Karl."

"You shall gain the title of OMFGUBERSHWEETKILLORMOFO1337, AND my Cheetos!"
"Very well, I accept your challenge."

"1,525,000,000 noted for J.L, 10 for Helldawg and 100 for Hannibal," said Professor Walter holding onto a wine glass with one arm and his toaster under the other, "Sorry but academic papers don't tend to come in comic book form, Mr Karl."

Karl said, "Very well, I will buy 10,000 copies, for distribution to my Tokko Commissars."

Karl twirled his pistol, and offered to the contestants.

"Add my gold-plated Colt King Cobra. .357 Magnum, can accept a scope and a silencer. May the best man win."

Hannibal then pulled out his tablet PC and began cliking on a few things. "Hold on a sec..." he said, and then after a few minutes he went: "AHA! Now taste the doom that has been long coming!:"

http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/wantedhug.gif.

"I win."

"Hey, I have a joke for you guys," J.L. said. "What do you call a Shooban with a brain? An oxymoron!"

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I accept your challenge, too, Hannibal. I could really go for some cheetos!"

Hannibal then pulled out his tablet PC and began cliking on a few things. "Hold on a sec..." he said, and then after a few minutes he went: "AHA! Now taste the doom that has been long coming!:"

http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/wantedhug.gif.

"I win."
"No, I win," he said, taking out his portable XBOX, and doing something with the controller. Suddenly, he was consumed in flame, and was replaced by a Gold Swordsman Elite. "WORT WORT WORT!" he yelled in triumph.

"No, I win," he said, taking out his portable XBOX, and doing something with the controller. Suddenly, he was consumed in flame, and was replaced by a Gold Swordsman Elite. "WORT WORT WORT!" he yelled in triumph.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

With his last breath before fainting for 27 minutes and 36 seconds, he pulled out the holy t-shirt of Angrimmar:

http://www.zestuff.com/product_image.php?imageid=32

Then he fainted(but not before taking the bag of cheetos into the magical unconsious demension of doom.)

He suddenly changed back into his normal self.

"Damn, I wanted those Cheetoes. Well, at least I am now known as OMFGUBERSHWEETKILLORMOFO1337. Hey, Karl, how 'bout that pistol?"

Suddenly, from the corner of the eye, people could see a vast horde approaching. A mass of horsemen, clad head to toe in armor and riding on armored horses began to charge a group of shoobans. On the front was Shah Khosru, wearing a crown topped with a gigantic golden globe and wielding a jeweled scimitar. Horns blared as the horsemen put down their spears and ran into the group, impaling many on spears. Shah Khosru's steed jumped clean over a Shooban, before hacking off the slave's head with a scimitar. Hundreds of Shoobans lay dead as the gleaming horde ran them down below their hooves.

He suddenly changed back into his normal self.

"Damn, I wanted those Cheetoes. Well, at least I am now known as OMFGUBERSHWEETKILLORMOFO1337. Hey, Karl, how 'bout that pistol?"

Suddenly, Hannibal jumped out of his FAintedness and said "HA! I have won!"
As Doomingsland looked at him in dis-belief he said, "I never said what I challanged you to, did I?"

Then, laughing maniacly, he went back to eating his cheetos.

Suddenly, Hannibal jumped out of his FAintedness and said "HA! I have won!"
As Doomingsland looked at him in dis-belief he said, "I never said what I challanged you to, did I?"

Then, laughing maniacly, he went back to eating his cheetos.


Karl sighed and said, "Who do I give the gun to?"

Suddenly, from the corner of the eye, people could see a vast horde approaching. A mass of horsemen, clad head to toe in armor and riding on armored horses began to charge a group of shoobans. On the front was Shah Khosru, wearing a crown topped with a gigantic golden globe and wielding a jeweled scimitar. Horns blared as the horsemen put down their spears and ran into the group, impaling many on spears. Shah Khosru's steed jumped clean over a Shooban, before hacking off the slave's head with a scimitar. Hundreds of Shoobans lay dead as the gleaming horde ran them down below their hooves.

J.L. laughed hysterically, feeling grateful he had taped the whole thing.

Karl sighed and said, "Who do I give the gun to?"
"Me. I said I won, and he agreed. It's settled."

"Me. I said I won, and he agreed. It's settled."

"I agreed NOTHING! I Won! ME ME ME!

I never did say what kind of competition is was, so Meh! I Proclaim myself the winnnnah!"

"yes You Did! I Won You Looserr!!!!11111"

"Right 10,000 for Karl," mentally noted Professor Walter, stepping over the dead Shooban.

"yes You Did! I Won You Looserr!!!!11111"

"Nuh-uh you Didnt!" and with that, Hannibal pressed a button on his wrist and the words g0dm0dz0r m0d3z appeared magically over his head. He then fired Uber-laser-missiles from his fingers while an army of Uber-law-ninjas appeared out of nowhere and began to shoot lawsuits.

"j00 c4|\||\|07 d3fy t3h g0dm0dz0r 4|\|d h1$ p0w3rz!"

bump

OOC: What exactly is a Shooban?

OOC: What exactly is a Shooban?

(OOC: Generic empire, The Parthians, Borman Empire, and I once defeated a very small, poor, weak nation called 'Shoobooshaaba.' Its indigenous natives are known as 'Shoobooshaabans,' or 'Shoobans,' for short. We enslaved the entire populace. Anyway, Shoobans are very dumb creatures. Much fun to beat around. ;))

Karl said, "So, J.L., who should I hand the gun to."

Karl said, "So, J.L., who should I hand the gun to."

J.L. took the gun, set it down, then took a massive scimitar and sliced it in half. "Give one half to Hannibal, and one half to Helldawg."

Karl said, "Very well, that is what they get for acting like children."

He then handed both halves of the guns to both Helldawg and Hannibal.

J.L. took his scimitar and walked over to a Shooban who was just sitting there, dutifully doing his chores, working hard, and minding his own business.

"Hello," J.L. said pleasantly, and lobbed off the Shooban's head.

bump

Karl then said, "So, J.L., what is your favorite method of execution?"

Karl then said, "So, J.L., what is your favorite method of execution?"

J.L. chuckled. "One that can't be described here, unfortunately."

J.L. chuckled. "One that can't be described here, unfortunately."

Karl said, "Ah, mine is either the guillotine or crucifixtion. The first gives the people a good show, the other, it hammers the point home, no pun intended."

Karl said, "Ah, mine is either the guillotine or crucifixtion. The first gives the people a good show, the other, it hammers the point home, no pun intended."

"Guillotine? But that kills them much, much too quickly!" J.L. said.

"Guillotine? But that kills them much, much too quickly!" J.L. said.

Karl said, "I'll give you that, but it still somehow manages to make the throngs excited, adds insult to the very fatal injury. And sometimes, I will admit, I am eager to get the point across ASAP, and not waste time."

He then smiled evilly. "Of course, when I'm feeling especially mean and when Reds get involved, that is where Crucifixtion comes in."

Karl said, "I'll give you that, but it still somehow manages to make the throngs excited, adds insult to the very fatal injury. And sometimes, I will admit, I am eager to get the point across ASAP, and not waste time."

He then smiled evilly. "Of course, when I'm feeling especially mean and when Reds get involved, that is where Crucifixtion comes in."

"I prefer methods that take several hours, or even days, to kill prisoners," J.L. said. "It is quite successful at deterring future dissent, let me tell you."

"I prefer methods that take several hours, or even days, to kill prisoners," J.L. said. "It is quite successful at deterring future dissent, let me tell you."


Jack strolled up to J.L. just in time to hear his comment.

"I completely agree with you J.L., if they don't think their going to suffer, their going to be much more ready to commit crimes against the state."

Jack strolled up to J.L. just in time to hear his comment.

"I completely agree with you J.L., if they don't think their going to suffer, their going to be much more ready to commit crimes against the state."

"That's absolutely correct, my friend," J.L. said. He handed Jack a gun. "Want to hunt some Shoobans?"

A black Comanche Gunship swoops in low above the pool and then proceeds to land in the driveway, careful not to damage any of the vehicles that were parked around it. The Gunner's cockpit door opens and out steps Chairman Murdock. With a grin he says, "How is everybody? Sorry I'm late, pressing issue at the office."

A black Comanche Gunship swoops in low above the pool and then proceeds to land in the driveway, careful not to damage any of the vehicles that were parked around it. The Gunner's cockpit door opens and out steps Chairman Murdock. With a grin he says, "How is everybody? Sorry I'm late, pressing issue at the office."

J.L. stepped forward to shake the Chairman's hand. "Generalissimo J.L., at your service," he said politely. "Please, make yourself at home. We were just discussing execution methods and hunting Shoobans. By all means, join us, my friend."

"That's absolutely correct, my friend," J.L. said. He handed Jack a gun. "Want to hunt some Shoobans?"


Jack smiled, and flicked the safety off.

“I’d be glad to.”

J.L. tossed a lasso around a Shooban's neck and tugged it over. "Glugck!" the hapless fool cried, sounding like a duck being stepped on, a warthog passing gas, a cheetah with the hiccups, and a rooster gargling mouthwash, all at the same. He turned to Murdock and Jack. "If either of you would like anything, this fool will be happy to get it for you. If in anyway you are displeased with his service, please do not hesitate to commence beating the living snot out of him."

J.L. tossed a lasso around a Shooban's neck and tugged it over. "Glugck!" the hapless fool cried, sounding like a duck being stepped on, a warthog passing gas, a cheetah with the hiccups, and a rooster gargling mouthwash, all at the same. He turned to Murdock and Jack. "If either of you would like anything, this fool will be happy to get it for you. If in anyway you are displeased with his service, please do not hesitate to commence beating the living snot out of him."


Jack frowned if just slightly.

“I’m no fan of the scum like this, but if you push them too hard, you run the risk of pushing them to violence. While there is not a doubt in my mind that you could take care them, they could do some damage. The same thing happened in Kordo not to long ago. But until that point, he can get me a non-alcoholic whiskey and rye.”

Jack frowned if just slightly.

“I’m no fan of the scum like this, but if you push them too hard, you run the risk of pushing them to violence. While there is not a doubt in my mind that you could take care them, they could do some damage. The same thing happened in Kordo not to long ago. But until that point, he can get me a non-alcoholic whiskey and rye.”

"Bah, these cretins would never revolt, they're too stupid," J.L. said. He glared at the Shooban. "YOU HEARD THE MAN!!!! GO GET HIM A GODDAMN NON-ALCOHOLIC WHISKEY AND RYE RIGHT NOW, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Shooban scurried off, returning almost instantaneously with Jack's drink.

J.L. smashed the Shooban across the face with a sledgehammer, killing it in cold blood. "Worthless piece of shit."

He turned to Chairman Murdoch. "Er, sorry, you'll have to have another Shooban get you your drink."

J.L. tossed a lasso around another Shooban's neck and pulled it over.

Jack sipped the drink he had just gotten and turned to J.L.

"I understand you were recently having some problems with the commie's in your country correct? Any thing my people can do to help?"

Jack sipped the drink he had just gotten and turned to J.L.

"I understand you were recently having some problems with the commie's in your country correct? Any thing my people can do to help?"

Hannibal was sitting near the cheetos, munching peacfully, when he heard a loud voice a few feet away. Hannibal coulda sworn that he had said "+3H c0MM13z!1111!!!1!!11!oneeleventy-one" Just then, his eyes began to twitch, he hands began to tremble, and when he opened his mouth he let out a terrible scream:

COOMMMMMMMIIIIIEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!!!

He then began to run around the room, screaming and yelling about how the Communist hordes had come to have vengance, and how the Almighty-Allah had betrayed them.

The then jumped on top of the buffet table, knocking off all the food, ripped off his shirt and yelled:

ALL HAIL DOCSTHOR HOBO! ONLY HE CAN SAVE US!.

He then jumped into the punch bowl./

Upon witnessing this display Murdock leans over to the nearest person and says, "I always wondered about that guy." He then walks a few feet away and checks the handgun he brought with him. A family heirloom it had been handed down from Murdock to Murdock and now the prized Colt 1911 was in the hands of the current chairman. During the revolution that had brought the current system to power this handgun had been his great-grandfather's. It was the gun that he used when the his home was attacked by the Communist regime's troops and as a result was a prized possession in the family. Even though it was unremarkable in appearance it functioned perfectly, even now 80 years after its construction. He wiped the punch off the grip and then returned it to its holster. After this he walked over to the bar and order a whiskey, he had to calm his nerves somehow, back home a political firestorm was brewing and he knew it.

Hannibal was sitting near the cheetos, munching peacfully, when he heard a loud voice a few feet away. Hannibal coulda sworn that he had said "+3H c0MM13z!1111!!!1!!11!oneeleventy-one" Just then, his eyes began to twitch, he hands began to tremble, and when he opened his mouth he let out a terrible scream:

COOMMMMMMMIIIIIEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!!!

He then began to run around the room, screaming and yelling about how the Communist hordes had come to have vengance, and how the Almighty-Allah had betrayed them.

The then jumped on top of the buffet table, knocking off all the food, ripped off his shirt and yelled:

ALL HAIL DOCSTHOR HOBO! ONLY HE CAN SAVE US!.

He then jumped into the punch bowl./

Karl walked up to Hannibal and handed him a white pill.

He then said, "Take a salt tablet."

"Allah doesn't defeat commies! Parthia, Roachbusters, Generia, Doomingsland, and other Anti-Communist nations do so under the blessing of Ahura Mazda!"