NationStates Jolt Archive

Jack sipped the drink he had just gotten and turned to J.L.

"I understand you were recently having some problems with the commie's in your country correct? Any thing my people can do to help?"

"Thanks, but the pinko menace has been taken care of," J.L. said.

"So, have you done much Shooban-slaying in your homeland lately?" J.L. asked the Shah.

"Allah doesn't defeat commies! Parthia, Roachbusters, Generia, Doomingsland, and other Anti-Communist nations do so under the blessing of Ahura Mazda!"
"Exactly! Wait- who's Ahura Mazda? You mean like the car company?" said the emperor, suddenly appearing from out of nowhere.

"Exactly! Wait- who's Ahura Mazda? You mean like the car company?" said the emperor, suddenly appearing from out of nowhere.

"How does he do it?" J.L. wondered, referring to Helldawg's enignmatic sudden appearance.

"So, have you done much Shooban-slaying in your homeland lately?" J.L. asked the Shah.

"Not lateley, we havent killed many since the hunt."

The Shah turned to Helldawg and spoke, "Ahura Mazda, the supreme god, he who created the heavens and the Earth"

"Not lateley, we havent killed many since the hunt."

The Shah turned to Helldawg and spoke, "Ahura Mazda, the supreme god, he who created the heavens and the Earth"

J.L. looked surprised. "But isn't killing Shoobans among your favorite hobbies?"

I haven't had much time to hunt myself. Mostly I just take a few shots at anything that passes my villa's windows. I'll tell you the M95S isn't a perfect hunting rifle, but it sure gets the job done when it tears the lower body off anything you hit.

I haven't had much time to hunt myself. Mostly I just take a few shots at anything that passes my villa's windows. I'll tell you the M95S isn't a perfect hunting rifle, but it sure gets the job done when it tears the lower body off anything you hit.

"But doesn't that kill them rather quickly? That's no fun! It's no fun unless the prey suffers."

Karl said, "That is why I use a BAR or a Pancor Jackhammer to hunt with. It is loud and makes for great fun."

(OOC: The Real ALM, did you start that thread yet?)

"Anyone want to go start a forest fire?" J.L. asked.

"Way ahead of you, J.L.," replied Helldawg, fireing his flamethrower at a nearby tree, turning it to ash.

"Way ahead of you, J.L.," replied Helldawg, fireing his flamethrower at a nearby tree, turning it to ash.

"Not quite," J.L. said. He pressed a button, causing an atomic bomb to detonate in a distant rain forest, reducing it to rubble. "Whoopsie!"

(OOC: The Real ALM, did you start that thread yet?)

Here it is. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=391491)

(OOC: Thanks. :))

Who said I aim for the body. Generally taking off arms and legs works fine, and causes suffering. Though I don't always use that. Another fun one is driving the prey using claymores and then slowly killing them with a few mags of 5.56 ammo from my M-4.

Who said I aim for the body. Generally taking off arms and legs works fine, and causes suffering. Though I don't always use that. Another fun one is driving the prey using claymores and then slowly killing them with a few mags of 5.56 ammo from my M-4.

"Could you demonstrate on one of my Shoobans?" J.L. asked. "Hey, Kjaganza, get over here!"

The Shooban with the unpronounce-able name walked over. "Yees, Masta J.L.?"

Murdock sets a maze of claymores along a pth toward a tree he had chosen. He then climbed into the tree with his M-4 and the detonators. The Shooban was told to run through the woods not knowing of his fate.
To be continued...

Murdock sets a maze of claymores along a pth toward a tree he had chosen. He then climbed into the tree with his M-4 and the detonators. The Shooban was told to run through the woods not knowing of his fate.
To be continued...

J.L. laughed. "This is gonna be good. Hey, Mghyaenda, get that video camera ready, you dumb shit!"

"Not lateley, we havent killed many since the hunt."

The Shah turned to Helldawg and spoke, "Ahura Mazda, the supreme god, he who created the heavens and the Earth"

"Well, my god, the Great Allah, is all powerful! The world is at his command! He punishes those who do not worship him, and tests those who do to find the true followers!

Oh yes, and we can't forget the Prophet Docsthor Hobo."

Once the camera was ready and the Shooban was in position Murdock began. He detonated a claymore 10 feet behind his quarry. Making him run toward the next once he was in range the next claymore was detonated this time so that it would just miss the poor Shooban. As his prey ran from claymore to claymore Murdock laughed to himself the poor thing didn't realize it was all a trap. After 3 minutes of detonations finally the Shooban was exactly where he wanted him. In the middle of a small clearing he had set up 6 claymores in a circle on tripwires, and the Shooban was right in the middle. Petrified that if he moved he'd die. Murdock went to work. First he shot at the ground next to his prey. Then he took a shot at his arm. Then the other. He continued until he had on round left. That after careful aim went through the Shoobans head, dead center. As he fell he tripped the claymores that had stopped him. They detonated and created an appropriately enormous cloud of pellets that shreaded the corpse. "All together a mediocre performance." he thought, "Its better when their willing to take more chances because they know what's happening. Oh well, it was a good enough example." He could tell that many of the people were in awe of the destruction he'd caused killing one Shooban. A clear path had been cut from the clearing back to where the Shooban had encountered claymore #1, almost a half mile away.

When Hannibal wasn't looking, J.L. grabbed the bag of cheetos and put it in Mghyaenda's hands. "Mghyaenda! Bad boy! How dare you take his cheetos!" He took out a shotgun and shot Mghyaenda between the eyes.

When Hannibal wasn't looking, J.L. grabbed the bag of cheetos and put it in Mghyaenda's hands. "Mghyaenda! Bad boy! How dare you take his cheetos!" He took out a shotgun and shot Mghyaenda between the eyes.

"OMFG! THAT THING TOOK My CHEETOS!" exclaimed Hannibal. Even as Mghyaenda lay on the floor, Hannibal pulled out a big, stabby stick and began to cut up its corpse. He then covered its pieces in cheddar, threw it in the vern for 10 minutes, pulled it out, and put all the little pieces in a bag of Cheetos.

"...And THAT is how they make Cheetos!"

*munch munch munch*

"Mmmmmmm.... Cheeeeeeeeetos...."

A Shooban who had not seen the whole thing (had just seen Hannibal cutting up the corpse), began weakly hammering Hannibal with a broom. "Yousa kyill mai bradda, yousa kyill mai bradda, me iz goona kyill yoo!"

(OOC: Translation- "You killed my brother, you killed my brother, I'm gonna kill you!")

A Shooban who had not seen the whole thing (had just seen Hannibal cutting up the corpse), began weakly hammering Hannibal with a broom. "Yousa kyill mai bradda, yousa kyill mai bradda, me iz goona kyill yoo!"

(OOC: Translation- "You killed my brother, you killed my brother, I'm gonna kill you!")

"Agh!"

*death*

"Agh!"

*death*

Soon, before J.L. could even move, over ten Shoobans were throwing rocks at Hannibal, hitting him with brooms, and even throwing hunks of animal waste at him, screaming, "Yousa kyill mai bradda, yousa kyill mai bradda!"

Soon, before J.L. could even move, over ten Shoobans were throwing rocks at Hannibal, hitting him with brooms, and even throwing hunks of animal waste at him, screaming, "Yousa kyill mai bradda, yousa kyill mai bradda!"

Karl had a servant bring his BAR. He told Hannibal to stand back.

He aimed the BAR at the Shoobans, and fired at slow auto, rendering the Shoobans' heads into giblets.

Karl had a servant bring his BAR. He told Hannibal to stand back.

He aimed the BAR at the Shoobans, and fired at slow auto, rendering the Shoobans' heads into giblets.

"That takes care of them, eh?" J.L. said, chuckling.

"Glad that's over....

Anyone want some cheetos?"

Professor Walter, carrying his wine glass and toaster, walked over to J.L.
"By the laws of probability if you had a million monkeys, typing on a million typewriters, you would eventually get the greatest masterpiece of all time," the Professor said as a casual remark, adding, "On an unrelated matter how would I aquire a very large number of Shoobans."

Professor Walter, carrying his wine glass and toaster, walked over to J.L.
"By the laws of probability if you had a million monkeys, typing on a million typewriters, you would eventually get the greatest masterpiece of all time," the Professor said as a casual remark, adding, "On an unrelated matter how would I aquire a very large number of Shoobans."

"Do YOU want some Cheetos?"

"Well, my god, the Great Allah, is all powerful! The world is at his command! He punishes those who do not worship him, and tests those who do to find the true followers!

Oh yes, and we can't forget the Prophet Docsthor Hobo."

"Bah, the only prophet is Zarathustra and the only god is Ahura Mazda. Besides, we banned the Qu'ran in Parthia except for our province of Pakistan where toleration of Islam is permitted."

"Do YOU want some Cheetos?"
"Oh, yes thankyou," said the Professor, having difficulty gripping the toaster and the wine glass.

"Bah, the only prophet is Zarathustra and the only god is Ahura Mazda. Besides, we banned the Qu'ran in Parthia except for our province of Pakistan where toleration of Islam is permitted."

"Let's not bicker and argue about whose god is better than who. Today is supposed to be a happy day! Here! Have some Cheetos!"

Professor Walter, carrying his wine glass and toaster, walked over to J.L.
"By the laws of probability if you had a million monkeys, typing on a million typewriters, you would eventually get the greatest masterpiece of all time," the Professor said as a casual remark, adding, "On an unrelated matter how would I aquire a very large number of Shoobans."

"Tell you what," J.L. said. "In return for all those copies of your book, I could send you a billion Shoobans as payment. They work extremely hard, are too stupid to rebel, are very dutiful and loyal, and breed like rats. You'll have enough free labor for your whole nation!"

"Let's not bicker and argue about whose god is better than who. Today is supposed to be a happy day! Here! Have some Cheetos!"

The Shah nodded and then grabbed a handful of cheetoes before ordering a Shooban to bring him a root beer.

The Shah nodded and then grabbed a handful of cheetoes before ordering a Shooban to bring him a root beer.

"YOU HEARD THE SHAH!!!!! GET HIM A MOTHER F***ING ROOT BEER ALREADY, YOU PURPLE PUDDLE OF PIDDLY POODLE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!" J.L. said, and lashed the Shooban with an Indiana Jones-style whip. The Shooban yelped and sped off, returning with a can of Barq's, a can of A&W, and a can of Mug.

"If you would prefer a different root beer than one of these, I will happily get you one myself," J.L. offered, "after I kill this incompetent fool!"

"YOU HEARD THE SHAH!!!!! GET HIM A MOTHER F***ING ROOT BEER ALREADY, YOU PURPLE PUDDLE OF PIDDLY POODLE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!" J.L. said, and lashed the Shooban with an Indiana Jones-style whip. The Shooban yelped and sped off, returning with a can of Barq's, a can of A&W, and a can of Mug.

"If you would prefer a different root beer than one of these, I will happily get you one myself," J.L. offered, "after I kill this incompetent fool!"

The Shah grabbed the can of Mug and then screamed at the Shooban, "Do you think I'm going to drink from a goddamned metal can? Get me a glass with some ice you dumb shit before I strangle you!"

The Shah grabbed the can of Mug and then screamed at the Shooban, "Do you think I'm going to drink from a goddamned metal can? Get me a glass with some ice you dumb shit before I strangle you!"

"I iz a-sawry, I iz a-sawry, Mastah Shah!" the Shooban said, and knelt on his knees. He began kissing the Shah's feet, begging for forgiveness.

"I iz a-sawry, I iz a-sawry, Mastah Shah!" the Shooban said, and knelt on his knees. He began kissing the Shah's feet, begging for forgiveness.


"I shall be merciful, but only if you get it back to me within five seconds. GO!"

"I shall be merciful, but only if you get it back to me within five seconds. GO!"

"I no know whutz a faiv sekon' is, Mastah Shah!" the Shooban said, and began weeping. He threw his arms around Shah Khosru.

"I no know whutz a faiv sekon' is, Mastah Shah!" the Shooban said, and began weeping. He threw his arms around Shah Khosru.

The Shah pushed him off and then threw him onto the floor, placing his boot over the poor creature's back and pressing down as the Shooban screamed. "Does the words DAMN FAST make sense?"

The Shah pushed him off and then threw him onto the floor, placing his boot over the poor creature's back and pressing down as the Shooban screamed. "Does the words DAMN FAST make sense?"

"I iz no domfost, I iz no a domfost, Mastah Shah!" the Shooban whined. "I iz saw-wee, Shah-poo!" The Shooban squirmed from beneath the Shah's boot, took off his loincloth (the only thing he was wearing), licked it, and wiped the Shah's face with it, which in the Shooban 'culture' was a way of showing respect.

"I iz no domfost, I iz no a domfost, Mastah Shah!" the Shooban whined. "I iz saw-wee, Shah-poo!" The Shooban squirmed from beneath the Shah's boot, took off his loincloth (the only thing he was wearing), licked it, and wiped the Shah's face with it, which in the Shooban 'culture' was a way of showing respect.

"You disgusting little worm! You insult me!" screamed the Shah in clear anger. With that, the Shah removed his gold engraved Colt .45 from the holster on his belt, pointed the gun down and blasted a round into each of the Shooban's kneecaps.

"You disgusting little worm! You insult me! With that, the Shah removed his gold engraved Colt .45 from the holster on his belt, pointed the gun down and blasted a round into each of the Shooban's kneecaps."

"Woms? Me laiks dizkostin' widda woms!" the Shooban said, and began licking the Shah's knees.

(OOC: Being called a 'worm' is a great compliment to them. Hence, this Shooban is so happy he doesn't notice the pain in his kneecaps.)

"Woms? Me laiks dizkostin' widda woms!" the Shooban said, and began licking the Shah's knees.

(OOC: Being called a 'worm' is a great compliment to them. Hence, this Shooban is so happy he doesn't notice the pain in his kneecaps.)

"Die happily, worm." With that, the Shah blasted a round into the back of the Shooban's skull in what should kill anyone instantly.

"Die happily, worm." With that, the Shah blasted a round into the back of the Shooban's skull in what should kill anyone instantly.

J.L. laughed. "Thanks. I'll go get you a glass now."

Moments later, J.L. returned with a huge glass filled with ice cubes. "Here you go, Shah."

J.L. laughed. "Thanks. I'll go get you a glass now."

Moments later, J.L. returned with a huge glass filled with ice cubes. "Here you go, Shah."

"Thank you my friend, good help is so hard to find nowadays, ain't it?"

"Thank you my friend, good help is so hard to find nowadays, ain't it?"

"Indeed." J.L. held up his own can of root beer- a Barq's- and toasted the Shah. "To the cause of anticommunism!"

"Indeed." J.L. held up his own can of root beer- a Barq's- and toasted the Shah. "To the cause of anticommunism!"

"Indeed, cheers my friend" Said the Shah as they had a toast.

"Indeed, cheers my friend" Said the Shah as they had a toast.

"My love of root beer is as great as my hatred of communism," J.L. said, beaming proudly.

nah man nah

Erase that post now.

"Sooooo.....

Who is up for a Genocide?

"Sooooo.....

Who is up for a Genocide?

"Ooh, me-me-me-me-me-me!" J.L. said, raising his hand, and laughed.

"Ooh, me-me-me-me-me-me!" J.L. said, raising his hand, and laughed.

Karl said, "I can provide guillotines and crucifixes, and all the people you want."

Karl said, "I can provide guillotines and crucifixes, and all the people you want."

"Thanks," J.L. said. "The one I really want to see dead is the President of Sarzonia. He's killed hundreds of thousands of my citizens and blown to hell many of my bases. I wanna get that son of a bitch!"

(OOC: That was 100% IC, in case anyone was wondering. IRL Sarzonia and I still get along great.)

"Thanks," J.L. said. "The one I really want to see dead is the President of Sarzonia. He's killed hundreds of thousands of my citizens and blown to hell many of my bases. I wanna get that son of a bitch!"

(OOC: That was 100% IC, in case anyone was wondering. IRL Sarzonia and I still get along great.)

Karl smiled. "My Generalissimo, I can make him dead, if you wish."

Karl smiled. "My Generalissimo, I can make him dead, if you wish."

"Really!?" J.L. exclaimed, grinning. "Please do so!"

"Really!?" J.L. exclaimed, grinning. "Please do so!"

OOC: I really must contact Sarzonia about that, shouldn't I?

OOC: I really must contact Sarzonia about that, shouldn't I?

(OOC: *Nod*

Wouldn't hurt. ;))

[OOC: No you may not kill Sarzo.

R-B, you shouldn't even be able to contact ANYONE. All your sats are shot down, your communications lines are knocked out, you've got a tight blockade around your country, etc. etc.]

[OOC: No you may not kill Sarzo.

R-B, you shouldn't even be able to contact ANYONE. All your sats are shot down, your communications lines are knocked out, you've got a tight blockade around your country, etc. etc.]

[OOC: ...

Your point?

Besides, if he really needs help, all our nations will come, blow yours up, then we canget back to partying.]

"Tell you what," J.L. said. "In return for all those copies of your book, I could send you a billion Shoobans as payment. They work extremely hard, are too stupid to rebel, are very dutiful and loyal, and breed like rats. You'll have enough free labor for your whole nation!"
"I'd think not," said the Professor, "You bought 1,525,000,000 and I'm throwing in a free special edtion just for you J.L. Thats one and a books per Shooban. Are you telling me a Shooban is worth $1.5billion. Perhaps we could talk about smaller numbers and better ratios."

[OOC: ...

Your point?

Besides, if he really needs help, all our nations will come, blow yours up, then we canget back to partying.]

(OOC: He, he, he! :D)

An unhygienic half dolphin man stepped into the room. Axe in hand he rubbed his head a little before stomping his foot down yelling.

"Now presenting Haggis the Almighty Crazed Axeman of Eccentricness and Doom with a little bit of Monkey Brains!" He bowed to no one in particular and kept walking in before plopping down at a table and proceeding to have a conversation with his foot.

An unhygienic half dolphin man stepped into the room. Axe in hand he rubbed his head a little before stomping his foot down yelling.

"Now presenting Haggis the Almighty Crazed Axeman of Eccentricness and Doom with a little bit of Monkey Brains!" He bowed to no one in particular and kept walking in before plopping down at a table and proceeding to have a conversation with his foot.

J.L. raised his eyebrow. "Ahem, well, uh, anyway, welcome, Haggis," he said, feeling awkward. "If you need anything, have a Shooban get it for you."

"I'm hungry. Can I eat the Shooban?" Haggis said eyeing a few slaves.

Murdock walks up to J.L. and says in a low voice, "If he even tries to eat me I'm not holding back. Just warning you now."

"I'm hungry. Can I eat the Shooban?" Haggis said eyeing a few slaves.

"Sure! Eat them alive, though, so we can hear their screams," J.L. said, grinning sadistically.

Murdock walks up to J.L. and says in a low voice, "If he even tries to eat me I'm not holding back. Just warning you now."

J.L. nodded. "I understand." He gave everyone a handgun for self-defense.

Haggis clicked wildly in dolphin and dove at a male slave. Smashing his head in Haggis began ripping out his intestines and laughing maniacally as he ripped out the meat and spattered blood everywhere before digging in some more.

"Mmm. That's a good Shooban."

Haggis clicked wildly in dolphin and dove at a male slave. Smashing his head in Haggis began ripping out his intestines and laughing maniacally as he ripped out the meat and spattered blood everywhere before digging in some more.

"Mmm. That's a good Shooban."

J.L. laughed.

"So, anyone up for some executions?" J.L. asked.

"Has anyone fire tested the Shoobans?" asked Walter, "Especially in the case they are covered in kerosene."

"Has anyone fire tested the Shoobans?" asked Walter, "Especially in the case they are covered in kerosene."

"No, not yet."

Professor Walter pulls out a box of matches, "Perhaps we should. Its best to know all a good's properties."

Professor Walter pulls out a box of matches, "Perhaps we should. Its best to know all a good's properties."

"Heh, heh...fire away!" J.L. said, and, chuckling, added, "Pun intended."

"You have some kero, I assume," asked Walter.

"You have some kero, I assume," asked Walter.

"That I do," J.L. said, whipping a Shooban. The Shooban yelped and quickly went to get some. He returned with it shortly afterwards.

Shah Khosru pulled a molotov cocktail from the backpack of a servant, made with a special Parthian blend of 1/3 tar and 2/3 gasoline, he lit the rag and tossed it at a group of Shoobans, setting flaming, sticky gas to them and making them run around as they slowly burned to ash.

"Pour it on yourself, rat" Walter said to the Shooban holding the kerosene.

"Pour it on yourself, rat" Walter said to the Shooban holding the kerosene.

"Ookey-dookey, Mastah Wadda," the Shooban said, and dumped kerosene all over himself.

Professor Walter took several steps back and then struck the match.
"Catch," yelled the Professor as he threw the match at the Shooban.

Karl yawned and said, "I am up for some executions. Bring me a furry."

Professor Walter took several steps back and then struck the match.
"Catch," yelled the Professor as he threw the match at the Shooban.

The Shooban instantly went ablaze, searing and smoking like an overcooked weenie. "BRGGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGWAAAAAAAEUGH!" he screamed, running around blindly and crazily, flailing his arms wildly as he screeched like a drunk monkey, all the while being roasted alive.

The Shooban instantly went ablaze, searing and smoking like an overcooked weenie. "BRGGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGWAAAAAAAEUGH!" he screamed, running around blindly and crazily, flailing his arms wildly as he screeched like a drunk monkey, all the while being roasted alive.

Karl said, "F**k yeah! F**K YEAH! WHOO!" enjoying the event a little too much....

"Look at him go," observed the Professor, "He's so nice and warm. Shoobans will make an excellent replacement for fossil fuels."

Shah Khosru laughed heartily, then tossed a plastic cup full of vodka at the flaming Shooban to see some massive fireballs.

"Say, I recently arrested a bunch of hippies, feminoids, social democrats, and 'antiwar' college students," J.L. said. "Anyone want to 'have some fun' with them?"

"Say, I recently arrested a bunch of hippies, feminoids, social democrats, and 'antiwar' college students," J.L. said. "Anyone want to 'have some fun' with them?"

Karl pulled out his BAR. "Any of them furries?"

Shah Khosru laughed heartily, then tossed a plastic cup full of vodka at the flaming Shooban to see some massive fireballs.

"BOOGAFLOOGAMAGANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the Shooban screamed, exploding in a fiery burst that sent mottled chunks of scorched flesh, burnt crispy bones, and flaming organs everywhere.

Karl pulled out his BAR. "Any of them furries?"

"The hell is a 'furry?'" the Generalissimo asked.

"Yes, I suppose greenies and the likes would also make for a good fuel source," noted the Professor.

"Yes, I suppose greenies and the likes would also make for a good fuel source," noted the Professor.

J.L. nodded. "I suppose they would."

"The hell is a 'furry?'" the Generalissimo asked.

Karl said, "Furries are those people that draw gay anthropromorphic animals getting it on. They need a killing."

Walter began an applause as the Shooban splattered into fiery fleshy lumps. Then he put his hands over one of the bits, warming his hands gently.

"Say, I recently arrested a bunch of hippies, feminoids, social democrats, and 'antiwar' college students," J.L. said. "Anyone want to 'have some fun' with them?"

"Of course, I have some assistance with me." Shah Khosru pointed to an Immortal standing next to him, "This man has recieved SAVAK education in "Interrogation," he will be most useful for this bit of fun."

"Of course, I have some assistance with me." Shah Khosru pointed to an Immortal standing next to him, "This man has recieved SAVAK education in "Interrogation," he will be most useful for this bit of fun."

"Indeed he will," the Generalissimo agreed. He brought over a hippie for the Shah's 'entertainment.'

The hippie was a male with bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes, shoulder-length, disheveled, greasy hair, hot pink pants, a flowered shirt, a peace medallion, and a joint in his hand. "Peace, dude," he said in a voice that indicated he was stoned, and hugged the Shah. "You're groovy, man!"

J.L. nodded. "Please kill him as slowly and painfully as possible, if you would," he told the Shah.

Karl said, "Furries are those people that draw gay anthropromorphic animals getting it on. They need a killing."

"Oh, I hate those f***ers," J.L. said, and had a huge cage filled with over thirty of them brought over. He opened the cage, and the furries escaped, running around wildly. "Whoever can kill the most furries wins a lifetime supply of egg nog!"

"Its Satan," exclaimed the Professor, pointing at the hippy, before running around histerically yelling, "I wish I had my crucifix." All while holding onto his toaster.

"Its Satan," exclaimed the Professor, pointing at the hippy, before running around histerically yelling, "I wish I had my crucifix." All while holding onto his toaster.

Some Shoobans brought a crucifix and another hippie over to the Professor.

"Enjoy," the Generalissimo said, grinning wickedly.

"In addition, we have plenty of thieves, dissidents, rapists, and child abusers for your killing pleasure," the Generalissimo said.

"Stand back Satan," ordered the Professor, holding up the Crucifix, but accidently smashing it into the hippies' face.
Yelling at the Shoobans, he said, "Get me some rope, some kero and a large combustion based generator."

"Stand back Satan," ordered the Professor, holding up the Crucifix, but accidently smashing it into the hippies' face.
Yelling at the Shoobans, he said, "Get me some rope, some kero and a large combustion based generator."

"Ookey-dookey, Mastah Wadda," they said, and returned with twenty feet of rope, a can of kerosene, and a large combustion-based generator. "Hee yoos go, Mastah Wadda!"

"Indeed he will," the Generalissimo agreed. He brought over a hippie for the Shah's 'entertainment.'

The hippie was a male with bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes, shoulder-length, disheveled, greasy hair, hot pink pants, a flowered shirt, a peace medallion, and a joint in his hand. "Peace, dude," he said in a voice that indicated he was stoned, and hugged the Shah. "You're groovy, man!"

J.L. nodded. "Please kill him as slowly and painfully as possible, if you would," he told the Shah.

The Immortal grabbed the hippie by the arm and then removed the cigarillo from his mouth before pressing the orange, burning tip onto the bare flesh of the hippie's arm. The half-stoned hippie screamed and let go of the Shah, only to have his other arm seized and bound to the other one by another Immortal, who then held his arms aloft before tying them to a tree by a long rope. One Immortal produced a long metal pole with a flattened base heated in a fire and glowing red hot. With a swift stroke of the sword, he removed the feet of the hippie while the other cauterized the wounds. Then, they dragged him after cutting the ropes to a pair of trees, which had their tops tied down to the ground within a few feet of each other. The hippie was tied with one half of his body to one tree and the other to the other half, then, they released the trees with two simultaneous strokes of the scimitar. As the trees sprang up, the hippie was torn in half and thrown in two parts into the air.

The Immortal grabbed the hippie by the arm and then removed the cigarillo from his mouth before pressing the orange, burning tip onto the bare flesh of the hippie's arm. The half-stoned hippie screamed and let go of the Shah, only to have his other arm seized and bound to the other one by another Immortal, who then held his arms aloft before tying them to a tree by a long rope. One Immortal produced a long metal pole with a flattened base heated in a fire and glowing red hot. With a swift stroke of the sword, he removed the feet of the hippie while the other cauterized the wounds. Then, they dragged him after cutting the ropes to a pair of trees, which had their tops tied down to the ground within a few feet of each other. The hippie was tied with one half of his body to one tree and the other to the other half, then, they released the trees with two simultaneous strokes of the scimitar. As the trees sprang up, the hippie was torn in half and thrown in two parts into the air.

J.L. laughed uproariously, slapping his leg. "Brilliant!" he exclaimed, nearly falling out of his lawnchair.

Immediately, over twenty 'antiwar' college students, waving placards, chanting ridiculous slogans characteristic of pacifist worms, and making 'peace' signs, surrounded the Shah and the Immortals, after witnessing the hippie's demise. "Give peace a chance!" they chanted.

Still holding the crucifix against the hippy and balancing the toaster on his head, Professor Walter proceeded to tie up the stoned hippy.
"This is for your own good possessed," said Walter.
He tied the last knot before pouring the kerosene all over the hippy.
"Shoobans, put him in the generator," he said, before turning to J.L. "Wow, you really have everything."

Still holding the crucifix against the hippy and balancing the toaster on his head, Professor Walter proceeded to tie up the stoned hippy.
"This is for your own good possessed," said Walter.
He tied the last knot before pouring the kerosene all over the hippy.
"Shoobans, put him in the generator," he said, before turning to J.L. "Wow, you really have everything."

The Shoobans did as they were told. Afterwards, J.L. pushed them in the generator, as well.

"Thanks for the compliment, Professor," J.L. said. "Would you like a drink, or something to eat?"

Immediately, over twenty 'antiwar' college students, waving placards, chanting ridiculous slogans characteristic of pacifist worms, and making 'peace' signs, surrounded the Shah and the Immortals, after witnessing the hippie's demise. "Give peace a chance!" they chanted.

The two Immortals stood between the Shah and the protestors, willing to protect their master with their own lives. One brought out his flamethrower and began to spray the hippies with impinity while the other sprang on the other side with his scimitar, hacking and slashing in a manner meant only to sever limbs so they could be tortured later.

"A platter of cheeses and a glass of red," said the Professor, watching the generator, "Something to suit tonights relaxing atmosphere."

"A platter of cheeses and a glass of red," said the Professor, watching the generator, "Something to suit tonights relaxing atmosphere."

The Shoobans returned with his food and drink almost immediately. J.L. then shot them all for no apparent reason.

The two Immortals stood between the Shah and the protestors, willing to protect their master with their own lives. One brought out his flamethrower and began to spray the hippies with impinity while the other sprang on the other side with his scimitar, hacking and slashing in a manner meant only to sever limbs so they could be tortured later.

"Shame on you, you big meanie!" one of them said, smacking the Shah. "You need to give peace a chance!"

Meanwhile, the rest of her 'comrades,' were being hacked, slashed, and sizzled and seared.

"Oh, I hate those f***ers," J.L. said, and had a huge cage filled with over thirty of them brought over. He opened the cage, and the furries escaped, running around wildly. "Whoever can kill the most furries wins a lifetime supply of egg nog!"

Karl said, "Hmm..this calls for something else."

He had somebody wheel in a KPV 14.5mm Anti-Aircraft MG.

Karl then said to J.L. :"Generalissimo, if you please......."

Karl said, "Hmm..this calls for something else."

He had somebody wheel in a KPV 14.5mm Anti-Aircraft MG.

Karl then said to J.L. :"Generalissimo, if you please......."

"Sure," J.L. said. "What do you want me to do?"

The Shoobans returned with his food and drink almost immediately. J.L. then shot them all for no apparent reason.

"Wow, we really are harnessing the Devil's power," said Professor nibbling a cheese, then looked down at the dead Shoobans, "Should be incinerate them as well?"

"Wow, we really are harnessing the Devil's power," said Professor nibbling a cheese, then looked down at the dead Shoobans, "Should be incinerate them as well?"

"Nah, let's make their families eat 'em," the Generalissimo said.

"Sure," J.L. said. "What do you want me to do?"

Karl said, "Stand aside, and get some earplugs. At least some of those hippies have to be Furries."

He cocked the gun, and aimed it at the crowd of hippies.

He yelled to the Shah: "Hey!"

Karl said, "Stand aside,and get some earplugs. At least some of those hippies have to be Furries."

He cocked the gun, and aimed it at the crowd of hippies.

He yelled to the Shah: "Hey!"

J.L. made some Shoobans get earplugs for everyone. He then shot them all. He stood aside.

J.L. made some Shoobans get earplugs for everyone. He then shot them all. He stood aside.

Karl began firing the gun at full blast at the escaping furries first, rendering at least 25 of them into bloody chunks by the time he was done, courtesy of the 14.5mm Soviet round that the Gun packed.

He then reloaded, and noticed the remianing five were in the crowd of hippies. He then opened fire on the hippies, yelling, "THAT'S-WHAT-YOU-F**KERS-GET-FOR-DRAWING-ANIMALS-THAT-LOOK-LIKE-DUDES-GETTING-IT-ON!," taking care not to hit the Shah or his Immortals.

Karl began firing the gun at full blast at the escaping furries first, rendering at least 25 of them into bloody chunks by the time he was done, courtesy of the 14.5mm Soviet round that the Gun packed.

He then reloaded, and noticed the remianing five were in the crowd of hippies. He then opened fire on the hippies, yelling, "THAT'S-WHAT-YOU-F**KERS-GET-FOR-DRAWING-ANIMALS-THAT-LOOK-LIKE-DUDES-GETTING-IT-ON!," taking care not to hit the Shah or his Immortals.
The Professor gave a soft applause and uttered, "Jolly good show."

The Professor gave a soft applause and uttered, "Jolly good show."

Karl, after wiping the sweat from his brow and sipping some Gatorade, said, "You ain't seen nothing yet."

He then loaded nothing but tracer rounds into the KPV, then he cocked it and cackled evilly.

He then aimed at a group of fleeing hippies. He turned the gun on them, and fired at full blast, the tracers creating a dazzling light show as the hippies were torn to bits.

He then said, "Ah yes, this never gets old. Got any more?"

"Shame on you, you big meanie!" one of them said, smacking the Shah. "You need to give peace a chance!"

Meanwhile, the rest of her 'comrades,' were being hacked, slashed, and sizzled and seared.

The Shah then removed his sword from the jeweled hilt and sliced the poor hippie's kneecaps off with two quick strokes before slashing him gently in the abdomen and forcing him to stand, causing his entrails to spill out and making him die in a most gruesome manner.

The Shah then removed his sword from the jeweled hilt and sliced the poor hippie's kneecaps off with two quick strokes before slashing him gently in the abdomen and forcing him to stand, causing his entrails to spill out and making him die in a most gruesome manner.

"That was delightful!" J.L. said, clapping the Shah on the back.

Karl, after wiping the sweat from his brow and sipping some Gatorade, said, "You ain't seen nothing yet."

He then loaded nothing but tracer rounds into the KPV, then he cocked it and cackled evilly.

He then aimed at a group of fleeing hippies. He turned the gun on them, and fired at full blast, the tracers creating a dazzling light show as the hippies were torn to bits.

He then said, "Ah yes, this never gets old. Got any more?"

Five-hundred more hippies and seventy furries were brought into the backyard.

"Enjoy."

"That was delightful!" J.L. said, clapping the Shah on the back.

The Shah smiled, "Thank you, I have experience in cruelty, I'm nearly 58 and have seen some excellent ways to kill my enemies."

The Shah smiled, "Thank you, I have experience in cruelty, I'm nearly 58 and have seen some excellent ways to kill my enemies."

"So I see," J.L. said, chuckling, and handed the Shah a 2 litre bottle of Mug root beer, along with a tall glass filled with ice cubes.

(OOC: I have to go. See you guys tomorrow.)

Five-hundred more hippies and seventy furries were brought into the backyard.

"Enjoy."

He reloaded the KPV with more tracers, and fired at the crowd, cackling and swiveling the gun about into the crowd.

The tracers created a dazzling light show, illuminating the area and giving it a brilliant, almost unearthly, beautiful glow, which would have been a subject for a painting or a picture if it wasn't for the mass slaughter taking place.

After the crowd was mostly decimated, Karl got out from behind the gun.

He then had a servant bring an M79, and he began to fire grenades into the remaining hippies and furries, reducing them to particulate components.

He saved one for last. Getting his katana, he ran the furry through, shook him about, twisted the blade, and removed the blade by swiping it though the man's right side, slicing him into two halves.

R.L. was beginning to wonder where evryone had gone, and swaggered into the backyard. He found a killing spree and immediately ordered a large shipment of tree-huggers who would arrive from RS in about 1 hour. For now he pulled out his Desert Eagle aptly named "Hippy Slayer" and opened up on the crowd of liberal scum. The rounds went ripping entire groups of the unfortunate mob. He had forsaken the 357 Magnum round for the 50 calibur.
Ah, he thought to himself this is how you throw a party. I'll have to get J.L. a nice present or something later

As a hippy charged Murdock he had to laugh.
"When Hippies Attack!" he thought to himself blowing said hippy's head clean off his shoulders with one shot from the equally well named .45, Deal Closer. He then carefully took aim and began levelling hippies left and right in truely accrobatic style, rolling, diving, and spinning to get the shots he was looking for. An ever-expanding circle of dead hippies was starting to form around him.

J.L. said, "So, do you guys feel like dumping radioactive waste in the ocean? The lefties'll flip their lids for sure!"

J.L. said, "So, do you guys feel like dumping radioactive waste in the ocean? The lefties'll flip their lids for sure!"

"Ohhh ohhh! I wanna! I wanna!

And beter yet, lets' do it next to a place with alot of democratic senators! That'll REALLY get those lefties pissed!"

:mp5: Lukonia enters the party, traditionally late as always. After taking a puff from a fine cigar, Lukonia takes off their shirt to reveal a small nuclear bomb strapped to their own chest. As world leaders run around in the three spare seconds of life they have left, Lukonia presses a button and blows the entire party to smithereens. :mp5: :D

"Yes! I've got 60 thousand tons of radioactive waste that I have nowhere to put without killing off all the game animals. And thats no good." Mudock says with enthusiasm taking out his cell phone and calling the storage facility to get the extra waste ready.
OOC: All in favor of ignoring that attack by Lukonia say Aye!

"Ohhh ohhh! I wanna! I wanna!

And beter yet, lets' do it next to a place with alot of homosexuals! That'll REALLY get those lefties pissed!"

(OOC: Please edit that second paragraph. There are some homosexual RPers in NS, one of whom is a friend of mine, who would be very offended by that.)

(OOC: Please edit that second paragraph. There are some homosexual RPers in NS, one of whom is a friend of mine, who would be very offended by that.)

OOC: ?

Fine....

Karl said, "No, let us dump it next to a furry convention, I will happily provide shipping and handling, along with free Headcrabs, they will mutate and haunt the area for generations to come...."

"Headcrabs? You mean one of these?" said the emperor, opening a small cage, releasing a headcrab, which proceeded to leap out and latch onto the face of a Shooban. "Uh oh, better kill him before he zombifies..."

"Looks like we're getting low on Shoobans," J.L. said. "Oh well, my genetics storefront is in the process of making a trillion more. Anyone want some?"

"Headcrabs? You mean one of these?" said the emperor, opening a small cage, releasing a headcrab, which proceeded to leap out and latch onto the face of a Shooban. "Uh oh, better kill him before he zombifies..."

Karl said, "Excuse me."

He pulled out a LAW, and reduced both the Headcrab and the Shooban to particulate components.

"Now, where was I...yes, those Headcrabs."

A Shooban walked over to Helldawg and began beating him with a thin, decrepit stick. "Boongo bongo, boongo bongo!" he said, enraged that Helldawg had zombified his brother.

Helldawg turned, not really noticing the little Shooban until he was hit in the face. Helldawg grabbed him by the head, lifting him off the ground with one arm. "Well well well, little man. Looks like I will have to punish you for your heresy." he said, tightening his grip on the man's skull. Slowly but surely, it began to crack, causing the slave to cry out in pain as his head was slowly crushed. Finnaly, his skull was thouroughly weakened, and Helldawg aplied a few more pounds of pressure, completely imploding and crushing the Shooban's skull. He now had to wipe the brains off of his hands. "Slaves! Get over here and clean up this mess, otherwise I'll have to make it a bit bigger, only with your brains!" he said with a warm smile.

"Greugh! Greugh!" the Shoobans cried, and commenced throwing chunks of human waste at Helldawg.

Helldawg turned, not really noticing the little Shooban until he was hit in the face. Helldawg grabbed him by the head, lifting him off the ground with one arm. "Well well well, little man. Looks like I will have to punish you for your heresy." he said, tightening his grip on the man's skull. Slowly but surely, it began to crack, causing the slave to cry out in pain as his head was slowly crushed. Finnaly, his skull was thouroughly weakened, and Helldawg aplied a few more pounds of pressure, completely imploding and crushing the Shooban's skull. He now had to wipe the brains off of his hands. "Slaves! Get over here and clean up this mess, otherwise I'll have to make it a bit bigger, only with your brains!" he said with a warm smile.

Karl said, "You know how to live! Say, what of our evil plot?"

"Okay, who says we help him?" Murdock said, palming Deal Closer from hand to hand and checking the sights, they were slightly high and to the right.

"Greugh! Greugh!" the Shoobans cried, and commenced throwing chunks of human waste at Helldawg.
This further angered Helldawg, who grabbed one of the Shoobans by the feet, and proceeded to swing him around like a mace, smashing his compadres. He then dropped him, jammed his foot down into his chest, and putting it down so hard it literaly crushed his ribcage, putting his foot right through the man. He then walked over the dazed slaves, and proceeded to either rip their spines out with his bare hands, or simply jam his fist into their gut hard enough to impale them.

This further angered Helldawg, who grabbed one of the Shoobans by the feet, and proceeded to swing him around like a mace, smashing his compadres. He then dropped him, jammed his foot down into his chest, and putting it down so hard it literaly crushed his ribcage, putting his foot right through the man. He then walked over the dazed slaves, and proceeded to either rip their spines out with his bare hands, or simply jam his fist into their gut hard enough to impale them.

Karl said, "Enough!"

He got his BAR, adjusted his sights, and loaded a fresh clip with AP rounds.

He aimed at the Shoobans and said, "Any of youse get closr, I will shoot on general prinicple!"

"Yeah, do yourselves a favor and stand still, it'll be less painfull that way," he said, drawing his sword, and twirling it around a few times.

"I'll take that as a yes." Murdock levelled the sights on a Shooban slave. But not before shooting one of the Hippies.
"What!? He was twitching!"

J.L. walked over to a Shooban and kicked him in the crotch, as always, for no apparent reason.

bump

Helldawg got bored, and ran through the line of Shoobans being held at gunpoint, lopping their heads off with the edge of his blade.

Shah Khosru took a large swig from a bottle of cogniac, then placed a bit of flaming cloth into the bottle and threw it at a Shooban while an Immortal looked on with a videocamera.

"Hey, Shoobans, want to to swimming?" J.L. asked. They nodded.

He led them to a 'special' swimming pool, and they all jumped in. He pressed a button on a remote control, and a glass barrier closed over the top of the pool, trapping them in there. He pressed another button, and a piranha cage opened up.

He motioned for the guests to come over. "This'll be a great show!"

A 2-foot-tall man sporting a bushy walrus mustache, wearing over-sized, sparkling pink sunglasses with shiny silver stickers of stars, a massive nose, and the sort of hat Charlie Chaplin wore, walked over to Helldawg and the Shah, and took out a massive steel club of ten feet long. "Now, whatcha'all got 'gainst dis'ere Shoob'ns?" he asked, and raised the club to strike.

"Hey, Shoobans, want to to swimming?" J.L. asked. They nodded.

He led them to a 'special' swimming pool, and they all jumped in. He pressed a button on a remote control, and a glass barrier closed over the top of the pool, trapping them in there. He pressed another button, and a piranha cage opened up.

He motioned for the guests to come over. "This'll be a great show!"

Shah Khosru threw himself into the air and pulled out his scimitar as he came down behind the clubman with a scimitar pointed directly at his kidneys.

Helldawg looked over at the little man. "How dare you threaten my friend!" he yelled. He kicked the little man as hard as he could, sending him soaring 30 feet in the air, landing him on top of the pool, putting him through the glass roof. The pirhanas looked at their new meal with glee, and went on to chew him to pieces.

Helldawg looked over at the little man. "How dare you threaten my friend!" he yelled. He kicked the little man as hard as he could, sending him soaring 30 feet in the air, landing him on top of the pool, putting him through the glass roof. The pirhanas looked at their new meal with glee, and went on to chew him to pieces.

As soon as the glass broke, a Shooban jumped out of the pool, ran over to Helldawg, and threw his arms around him, licking his neck. "Yoos mah heewo, yoos mah heewo!" the Shooban said, and then jumped down, turned around, bent over, and passed gas, which in the Shooban 'culture' was their way of saying 'thank you.'

Shah Khosru threw himself into the air and pulled out his scimitar as he came down behind the clubman with a scimitar pointed directly at his kidneys.

The club man's pet magically appeared behind the Shah. The pet was a 10-foot-tall pink penguin with red hearts on its back, a bow atop its head, and a tongue hanging out like a dog's. The penguin eagerly stomped over to the Shah and attempted to eat him.

J.L. ran over to help his friends, but was immediately surrounded and attacked by small, rabbit-sized, insect-like creatures that looked almost exactly like Bohroks, called 'Veechits.'

J.L. shouted, "Shoobans, get off your asses and help me!"

Yet, for the first time ever, they disobeyed. In fact, hundreds of them began to throw stones and sticks at the guests, as well as at J.L. himself.

The club man's pet magically appeared behind the Shah. The pet was a 10-foot-tall pink penguin with red hearts on its back, a bow atop its head, and a tongue hanging out like a dog's. The penguin eagerly stomped over to the Shah and attempted to eat him.

The Shah jumped once again into the air, to a height of five feet over the head of the creature before removing his scimitar as he flew down with the sharp blade pointed directly at its skull.

The Shah jumped once again into the air, to a height of five feet over the head of the creature before removing his scimitar as he flew down with the sharp blade pointed directly at its skull.

The penguin's head split open, spraying blood everywhere, as the massive beast collapsed to the ground like a ton of bricks, dead.

"Poker, anyone?" asked the Professor.

"Poker, anyone?" asked the Professor.

"Not just now," J.L. said, attempting to fend off the Veechits and Shoobans. "I could use a little help, though!"

J.L. looked around. "Where'd everyone go?"

Professor Walter pulled out two pistols and shoot two Shoobans in the head. He fired again hitting a Shooban and a Veechit. "Still got it," he muttered, before opening fire with full fury.

"Not just now," J.L. said, attempting to fend off the Veechits and Shoobans. "I could use a little help, though!"

Shah Khosru came in, clothed in armor scales and wearing a rather ornate helmet topped with a golden orb, shining in the sun and sending a blinding glare at the Shoobans. Light from the armor glowed brighter as the very sun seemed to be coming from the Shah's gleaming armor. Once again drawing his sword, he charged at the pathetic fools, hacking and slashing the knees and abdomens of the unarmored Shoobans while he used a dagger in his other hand to smash it into the side of the Shoobans' heads in such a manner to cause instant death.

"Thanks, guys," J.L. said, as he bashed a Veechit's brains in. He took out a radio. "Bring in the Death Squad."

Almost immediately, hundreds of armor-clad, masked, machine gun-toting men in all black ran out and proceeded to fill each of the Veechits with lead.

The doors swing open as Bhalk walks in. Within seconds of his arrrival his head explodes as his lifless corpse falls to the floor.

Then the doors swung open and several Iksar from TEDLAGC army walkerd in and flanked the sides of the door. A large red carpet rolled out and Bhalk walked in.

"Hello everyone! I think I have to excuse my lateness with another champagne fountain, it'll be here momentarily."

The doors swing open as Bhalk walks in. Within seconds of his arrrival his head explodes as his lifless corpse falls to the floor.

Then the doors swung open and several Iksar from TEDLAGC army walkerd in and flanked the sides of the door. A large red carpet rolled out and Bhalk walked in.

"Hello everyone! I think I have to excuse my lateness with another champagne fountain, it'll be here momentarily."

"Bhalk, greetings," J.L. said. "Would you like a drink? If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask one of my Shoobans. And if in any way you are dissatisfied with their service, feel free to slaughter them mercilessly."

"Bhalk, greetings," J.L. said. "Would you like a drink? If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask one of my Shoobans. And if in any way you are dissatisfied with their service, feel free to slaughter them mercilessly."

"Aren't you running low on Shoobans? New-Roach-busters wasn't that large and you lost almost every Shooban in there when we had a cold war with Dracun and saved their men's asses. We however have shown our Shoobans a...breeding program shall we say? We have thousands of them and we are sending over 500 Pregnant Females and 500 well built males to start re-supplying your nation. And yes I would like a Justice Pale ale, ever heard of it?"

OOC: Seriously, ever heard of Justice Pale ale, anyone?

"Aren't you running low on Shoobans? New-Roach-busters wasn't that large and you lost almost every Shooban in there when we had a cold war with Dracun and saved their men's asses. We however have shown our Shoobans a...breeding program shall we say? We have thousands of them and we are sending over 500 Pregnant Females and 500 well built males to start re-supplying your nation. And yes I would like a Justice Pale ale, ever heard of it?"

OOC: Seriously, ever heard of Justice Pale ale, anyone?

"Ahhh, Bhalk! Good to see yas!" exclaimed Hannibal in a joyous voice. "Hows things doing in that *inaudible*back stabbing good for nothing*inaudible* empire of yours?"

OOC: You didn't hear the stuff in Italics.

"Ahhh, Bhalk! Good to see yas!" exclaimed Hannibal in a joyous voice. "Hows things doing in that *inaudible*back stabbing good for nothing*inaudible* empire of yours?"

OOC: You didn't hear the stuff in Italics.

"What'd you say? Are you still soar about us..shall we say...raping you in that old war? Its in the past. But anyway, Im good, you?"

R.L. was thoroughly enjoying himself when an aid approached him.

Aid: Sir, the 2000 or so tree-huggers you requested have just arrived. Where do you want them?

R.L.: Put the scum in the back yard.

Aid: As you wish sir.

With that a large pen was dropped out a C-130 and fell into the yard.

R.L.: OK, everyone to the backyard! We've got some new targets.

"You don't have to tell me twice. Just wait a minute."
Murdock runs to the Comanche and reaches into the gunner's compartment, retrieving an AK-110 the weapon of choice for all Shenyang special forces units. The rifle looked like an AK-101, except it was heavily modified by SMDI. It included many features not present on the AK-101. He ran throught the building wielding his rifle like a marine and upon reaching the backyard went into a combat stance and waited for the other guests to arrive before he began.

"So, what is your opinion of mathematics, gentlemen?" J.L. asked. "I detest the subject, and am highly considering illegalizing it in my nation."

(Yelling from backyard) "I have no love for the subject myself! I do recognize that its necessary in many fields! Come on, I'll only wait so long!"

Bhalk stumbled out of a room with another scantly clad woman after having finished...'drinking'.

Bhalk quickly pulled an XM8 from a hole in the wall and ran into the backyard to join the fun.

"So, who's for poker?" asked Professor Walter, shuffling a pack of cards.

"So, who's for poker?" asked Professor Walter, shuffling a pack of cards.

J.L. brought a table over. He sat down. "Sure, I'm up for a game, Professor."

"Good to hear," said Professor Walter, "Sign of a real man."

Finally, R.L. You can open the cage any time now.

*waits for cage*

"Opening bet is $1000 US," said the Professor, placing a large sum of money in the middle of the table.

*Continues to wait*

"J.L, you got a TV we can watch, while we play poker," asked the Professor, "I just realised something I want to see; Farmina should be broadcasting Blivx's execution about now."

management bump

"Shoobans, bring a TV," said Walter.

OOC: I am I the only one here?

OOC: No, im outside.

"J.L, you got a TV we can watch, while we play poker," asked the Professor, "I just realised something I want to see; Farmina should be broadcasting Blivx's execution about now."

"I can do better than that," J.L. said. He led the Professor into a movie theater. He turned on the film projector, and it began playing the execution. Some Shoobans brought the two men some popcorn.

Bhalk sat down outside and opened his golden pocketwatch.

"Where is generalisimo? Why wouldn't he whow up out here?"

"Wow," said the Professor, "This a big place."
He paused, "Nothing like a Farminan execution."

OOC: They are watching what happens in this thread.
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=393481

Bhalk sat down outside and opened his golden pocketwatch.

"Where is generalisimo? Why wouldn't he whow up out here?"

"I'm here, Bhalk," J.L. said. "Come on into the theater and watch the execution with us. It's one of the best things I've seen in quite some time!"

"This punishment is quite standard in Farmina for serious crimes. The sinner isn't at all standard," said Walter.

"No, We're shooting Shoobans out here! Hello, We are hunting Shoobans!"

"No, We're shooting Shoobans out here! Hello, We are hunting Shoobans!"

"As soon as this show is over, I'll join you guys," J.L. promised.

"Get me a drink," yelled Walter at a Shooban, "The bastards dead, this is a day to remember."

"Get me a drink," yelled Walter at a Shooban, "The bastards dead, this is a day to remember."

"Whaza yoos wanna yo' d'ink ta beeeee?" the Shooban asked, honking mournfully.

(Translation: What do you want your drink to be?)

"A large Scotch," said Walter, "I'm going to watch re-runs of the execution, because the murders DEAD."

OOC: While Walter's watching re-runs I have to go out shortly.

*mutters to self*

"Damn J.L Bastard. Leaving us out here as he walks off and does somethign else, we were huntign first!"

Hannibal sat down at the bar as an aide walked up to him and whispered something in his ear. He then stood up and adressed the near by people.

"According to the person who writes all of TLS' Roleplays, I just crashed in a helicopter and died after a peaceful transistion of power in my nation to a democratic government. From now on, you shall adress me a Steven(Steve, for short) Hargin, Prime Minister of The Lightning Star.

"Oh, and click here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=393510) to see the greatest crime against humanity."

He then sat down and began sipping his martini.

"A large Scotch," said Walter, "I'm going to watch re-runs of the execution, because the murders DEAD."

OOC: While Walter's watching re-runs I have to go out shortly.

The Shoobans, who were of course incredibly stupid, returned with Scotch tape. "Hee yoos go Mastah P'ofessa Wadda," they said. "But hao yoos'a d'ink it?"

Hannibal sat down at the bar as an aide walked up to him and whispered something in his ear. He then stood up and adressed the near by people.

"According to the person who writes all of TLS' Roleplays, I just crashed in a helicopter and died after a peaceful transistion of power in my nation to a democratic government. From now on, you shall adress me a Steven(Steve, for short) Hargin, Prime Minister of The Lightning Star.

"Oh, and click here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=393510) to see the greatest crime against humanity."

He then sat down and began sipping his martini.

(OOC: Lol! I try to avoid the General forum from now on, though, because with rare exceptions, it's loaded with nothing but assholes.)

J.L. asked, "So, what kind of cheetos do you like better, Hannibal? Flaming Hot, or regular, or other?"

"Straight," his Walter, at the Shooban interrupting the re-run of the execution.

(OOC: Lol! I try to avoid the General forum from now on, though, because with rare exceptions, it's loaded with nothing but assholes.)

J.L. asked, "So, what kind of cheetos do you like better, Hannibal? Flaming Hot, or regular, or other?"

"It's Steve now, J.L., didn't you hear what I said?

Oh, and I like 'em as spicy as they come! I'm from Northern Africa AND India, y'know. Me likey the spicey!"

"Straight," his Walter, at the Shooban interrupting the re-run of the execution.

"Haoza yoos d'ink Scots tape, Mastah Wadda?" the Shooban asked, wrapping the tape around the Professor's face. Another Shooban began licking the Professor's cherished toaster.

"It's Steve now, J.L., didn't you hear what I said?

Oh, and I like 'em as spicy as they come! I'm from Northern Africa AND India, y'know. Me likey the spicey!"

"Oh, okay, Steve," J.L. said, chuckling, and tossed Steve a 75-pound bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos which had been specially enhanced by RB cooks to make them extra, extra spicy. He winked. "Enjoy!"

"Oh, okay, Steve," J.L. said, chuckling, and tossed Steve a 75-pound bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos which had been specially enhanced by RB cooks to make them extra, extra spicy. He winked. "Enjoy!"

*munch*

OMGIMONFIRE!

Karl then said, catching the last part of the conversation: "Sorry I'm late, I had to wash off the blood splatter. I was wondering if you had any of those Cheetos you were talking about?"

*munch*

OMGIMONFIRE!

"Shoobans, get him something to drink, this instant!" J.L. said. Without waiting, he inserted a fire hose into Steve's mouth and turned it on, full blast, dousing his mouth and throat in icy cold, refreshing water. "Better?"

Karl then said, catching the last part of the conversation: "Sorry I'm late, I had to wash off the blood splatter. I was wondering if you had any of those Cheetos you were talking about?"

J.L. tossed Karl a bag. "Enjoy." He then handed Karl a fire hose.

J.L. tossed Karl a bag. "Enjoy." He then handed Karl a fire hose.

Karl ate the Cheetos. He then said, "Oh yeah....."

He then had his servant bring a bottle of chocolate milk, and he downed it.
He then smacked his lips, smiled and said, "Ah......that is some good spice. I know of spicier things, though."

"Shoobans, get him something to drink, this instant!" J.L. said. Without waiting, he inserted a fire hose into Steve's mouth and turned it on, full blast, dousing his mouth and throat in icy cold, refreshing water. "Better?"

Steve pointed to the stump that used to be his head, and then pulled out a big scimitar and beheaded a Shooban, pulled out it's brains, sewed the scalp back on, and then plopped the head where his head was before it caught on fire and burned up.

"It's a good thing my brain is evenly distrubted throughout my body like a cockroach." He then picked up a pack of "Somewhat Spicey" Cheetos.

J.L. tossed a few of the cheetos into a Shooban's mouth. The Shooban's face turned crimson, his eyes became bloodshot, thick fumes of steam spouted from his ears, his throat burned in agony, and he began spewing streams of liquid-hot flames everywhere, setting many fellow Shoobans ablaze, reducing them to ashes. The Shooban ran around, screaming maniacally and moronically, completely oblivious to everything he was doing, oblivious to everything except the excruciating pain in his mouth and throat, and accidentally coughed a few cinders onto himself, reducing himself to a deep-fried, extra-crispy skeleton within seconds.

Steve pointed to the stump that used to be his head, and then pulled out a big scimitar and beheaded a Shooban, pulled out it's brains, sewed the scalp back on, and then plopped the head where his head was before it caught on fire and burned up.

"It's a good thing my brain is evenly distrubted throughout my body like a cockroach." He then picked up a pack of "Somewhat Spicey" Cheetos.

J.L. instinctively shot to attention, spun around, peered menacingly into Steve's eyes, and drew his broadsword, which was crafted out of solid gold and was ten times harder than diamond and a thousand times sharper than a scalpel. "Did you say...cockroach?" he asked, in a low, chilling voice.

J.L. instinctively shot to attention, spun around, peered menacingly into Steve's eyes, and drew his broadsword, which was crafted out of solid gold and was ten times harder than diamond and a thousand times sharper than a scalpel. "Did you say...cockroach?" he asked, in a low, chilling voice.

"I mean...uh...

some...kinda...bug...that...has...it's...brains...all...throughout...it's...body..."

Hannibal then looked up at one of the big computer screens with strange people on the other side. "Dangit, writer, why'd you have to say Cockroach? Why?!?!?"

"I mean...uh...

some...kinda...bug...that...has...it's...brains...all...throughout...it's...body..."

Hannibal then looked up at one of the big computer screens with strange people on the other side. "Dangit, writer, why'd you have to say Cockroach? Why?!?!?"

(OOC: Lol! You and Camel Eaters should RP together sometime. You guys write the funniest stuff :D)

"It's all right, Steve/Hannibal," J.L. said, and, to re-assure his friend, handed him another bag of cheesy goodness.

(OOC: Lol! You and Camel Eaters should RP together sometime. You guys write the funniest stuff :D)

"It's all right, Steve/Hannibal," J.L. said, and, to re-assure his friend, handed him another bag of cheesy goodness.

OOC: We tried too, once. It had to do with some techno-mastah-DJ's. We never got around to completing it.

IC:

*whew*

"Thanks!"

J.L. laughed. "No problem."

Karl ate the Cheetos. He then said, "Oh yeah....."

He then had his servant bring a bottle of chocolate milk, and he downed it.
He then smacked his lips, smiled and said, "Ah......that is some good spice. I know of spicier things, though."

OOC: Hate to nag, did you catch this?

The back doors flew open as Bhalk strode in with his Borman BEWD in hand.

"Generalisimo, you never came!"

With lightening speed he brought the gun up and fired. He emptied a clip and the patended technology loaded the second clip and he continued to fire.

Fortunately for J.L. Bhalk had shifted the gun and the stream of hot lead pumped throughout Hannibal's/Steve's body.

After the third clip Bhalk stopped and fired a couple rounds into the guards who were moving in towards him.

"He never liked me, I didn't like him. Plus he's like a cockroach so I had to honor your nation and kill him."

The back doors fle open as Bhalk strode in wiht his Borman BEWD in hand.

"Generalisimo, you never came!"

With lightening speed he brought the gun up and fired. He emptied a clip and the patended technology loaded the second clip and he continued to fire.

Fortunately for J.L. Bhalk had shifted the gun and the stream of hot lead pumped throughout Hannibal's/Steve's body.

After the third clip Bhalk stopped and fired a couple rounds into the guards who were moving in towards him.

"He never liked me, I didn't like him. Plus he's like a cockroach so I had to honor your nation and kill him."

Karl said, clapping his hands: "Intriguing firearm! I must know, how does this work....and if I could get some copies."

Karl said, clapping his hands: "Intriguing firearm! I must know, how does this work....and if I could get some copies."

"Well its actually the pinnacle of technology. Its much like an assault weapon except with higher RPM and it has a system allowing for 5 clips to be stored and thus 500 bullets. Its a complex systme of tracks springs and more, as soon as the clip is empty it will drop and sprigns will push the next one into place. Then it will begin firing that clip. There may be one or two empty shots between the clips. About copies, I'd need to think about that."

The back doors flew open as Bhalk strode in with his Borman BEWD in hand.

"Generalisimo, you never came!"

With lightening speed he brought the gun up and fired. He emptied a clip and the patended technology loaded the second clip and he continued to fire.

Fortunately for J.L. Bhalk had shifted the gun and the stream of hot lead pumped throughout Hannibal's/Steve's body.

After the third clip Bhalk stopped and fired a couple rounds into the guards who were moving in towards him.

"He never liked me, I didn't like him. Plus he's like a cockroach so I had to honor your nation and kill him."

Steve's arm took a scimitar out of thin air and chopped up some Shoobans and then put himself together again.

"God dangit, Bhalk, I'm NOT a Cockroach! Im like a cockroach!

And that stung!"

After saying that, Steve chopped off Bhalks balls and replaced them with the balls of a Shooban.

"Now you shall feel PAIN!"

Steve's arm took a scimitar out of thin air and chopped up some Shoobans and then put himself together again.

"God dangit, Bhalk, I'm NOT a Cockroach! Im like a cockroach!

And that stung!"

After saying that, Steve chopped off Bhalks balls and replaced them with the balls of a Shooban.

"Now you shall feel PAIN!"

The man screamed in pain and fell over with a spear in his back. Bhalk walked in through the backdoor and picked up teh assault rifle.

"God I love clones. But anyway, You ****head. I know what you think about me, and I DONT LIKE IT!"

Bhalk fired off several shots into Steve's balls and then into his head. Afterwards his Iksar guards surrounded him to prevent further attacks.

The man screamed in pain and fell over with a spear in his back. Bhalk walked in through the backdoor and picked up teh assault rifle.

"God I love clones. But anyway, You ****head. I know what you think about me, and I DONT LIKE IT!"

Bhalk fired off several shots into Steve's balls and then into his head. Afterwards his Iksar guards surrounded him to prevent further attacks.

As Steves head hopped around trying to find body parts, he summoned his manservent, Paul(formerly Ikbar) to do something. So Paul ran full speed towards the Iksar guards, and halfway there he turned into an elephant. He then speared the guards, and pinned halk against the wall.

Once Steve had re-assembled himself using the totaly rad body parts of the Iksar guards, he unpinned Bhalk and said "Let's let bygones be bygones, Bhlak! Here, lemme by you a martini!"

"Well its actually the pinnacle of technology. Its much like an assault weapon except with higher RPM and it has a system allowing for 5 clips to be stored and thus 500 bullets. Its a complex systme of tracks springs and more, as soon as the clip is empty it will drop and sprigns will push the next one into place. Then it will begin firing that clip. There may be one or two empty shots between the clips. About copies, I'd need to think about that."

OOC: Got any pics?

IC:

Karl said, "Well, we are making supersoldiers, and this system may prove useful...."

The Shah screamed at the Shooban slave, "Get me a Lamb Kabob made Persian style and tastes exactly like the ones my chef makes or I will kill you."

As Steves head hopped around trying to find body parts, he summoned his manservent, Paul(formerly Ikbar) to do something. So Paul ran full speed towards the Iksar guards, and halfway there he turned into an elephant. He then speared the guards, and pinned halk against the wall.

Once Steve had re-assembled himself using the totaly rad body parts of the Iksar guards, he unpinned Bhalk and said "Let's let bygones be bygones, Bhlak! Here, lemme by you a martini!"

"Well first let us rewind time to before your GOD-MODE! So my COMPETANT Iksar soldiers cna battle you."

*Time rewinds*

As the elephant charged it was pumped full of holes and collapsed on the floor. Bhalk charged Steve and hacked him to pieces. He then gathered all HIS pieces and let him re-construct himself.

"Now Ill take that martini."

OOC: Got any pics?

IC:

Karl said, "Well, we are making supersoldiers, and this system may prove useful...."

"Let me try to get a file on the weapon."

"Well first let us rewind time to before your GOD-MODE! So my COMPETANT Iksar soldiers cna battle you."

*Time rewinds*

As the elephant charged it was pumped full of holes and collapsed on the floor. Bhalk charged Steve and hacked him to pieces. He then gathered all HIS pieces and let him re-construct himself.

"Now Ill take that martini."

"j00 4r3 +3h |\|00b!" cried Hannibal as he grew 500 feet tall and burst through the roof of the building. He let our a gigantic roar and pciked Bhalk up and attached a string to him and began to use him as a yo-yo. After a while, Bhalks head just flew off. After shrinking down to normal size and fixing the roof with his magic moneky assistants, he looked at Bhalks body and said

"pwned."

Bhalk wlaked out of the room and walked in 3.728293810302983746562927 seconds later wearing a long black trenchcoat. He walked towards Karl and leaned in. His hands went in the coat and brought out a singel thin manila folder.

"Here is the file (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7783680&postcount=39) ."

"j00 4r3 +3h |\|00b!" cried Hannibal as he grew 500 feet tall and burst through the roof of the building. He let our a gigantic roar and pciked Bhalk up and attached a string to him and began to use him as a yo-yo. After a while, Bhalks head just flew off. After shrinking down to normal size and fixing the roof with his magic moneky assistants, he looked at Bhalks body and said

"pwned."

"God-Mode!"

Bhalk quickly pushed Steve aside and grabbed his martini.

"I hate god-moders."

"God-Mode!"

Bhalk quickly pushed Steve aside and grabbed his martini.

"I hate god-moders."

"What? How can you resist the power of +3h g0d-m0d?" cried Steve as he slowly began to deflate. Finally, all that was left of him was an empty bag of skin and a cockroach ran out. At that same moment, Steve walked out of the Men's Room. "An Imposter!" he cried as he squished the bug. In his finaly seconds, the bug said "j00 c4|\| |\|3\/3r s$+0p +3h g0d-m0dz!".

Steve then got a Martini, drank it, and began to munch on cheetos.

"I dont think I like you."

OOC: Quick, offer bygones to be bygones, and to pay for my martini.

"I dont think I like you."

OOC: Quick, offer bygones to be bygones, and to pay for my martini.

"Let's let bygones be bygones, shall we? Even though that wasn't the real me, i'd be glad to pay for every martini you get for the rest of your life."

"Let's let bygones be bygones, shall we? Even though that wasn't the real me, i'd be glad to pay for every martini you get for the rest of your life."

"Wow, I love you...in a...uh...I think I have to prove my sexuality."

Bhalk grabbed an attractive women walking by and dragged her into a room nearby.

2 hours later

The tow stumble out and the women is obviously reeling from teh best tiem she ever had in her life.

"Anyway, I love you in a straight way. Bygones be bygones."

Bhalk put his martini in the air moitioning for a cheers.

"Haoza yoos d'ink Scots tape, Mastah Wadda?" the Shooban asked, wrapping the tape around the Professor's face. Another Shooban began licking the Professor's cherished toaster.
OOC: Sorry I'm late, really late back.

IC: Walter wasn't in the habit of drinking straight scotch. He was so excited by the Blivx's death he didn't notice his throat burning. Then he noticed a Shooban licking his toaster.

"Dirty Shooban," yelled Walter, pulling the toaster out of the Shoobans reach.
He proceeded to smash the toaster into the Shooban's head.
Again he moved his toaster away from the Shooban, before pulling a gun on the stupid beast.

OOC BLATANT ADVERT: You really should read the execution thread "Vengeful Execution."
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=393481&page=1&pp=15

Bhalk picked up his Bewd and walked outside to wait for J.L. to come and hunt Shoobans.

I think Human Right are inportant and any body needs help here ask me

I think Human Right are inportant and any body needs help here ask me
Human rights didn't exist before 18something something; and we got around fine.
Now please go away and don't come back.

Bhalk got down on one knee and braced his BEWD. He grabbed fresh clips from his pack and slammed them in the gun so he once again had 5 clips. Then he turned around and pupmed two whole clips into the Pureplayzron man.

"You're a good man, Bhalk, a good man..."

*sip* *munch*

"You're a good man, Bhalk, a good man..."

*sip* *munch*

"You too Steve. And I would like to say two things. One, the biggest backstab in history that we pulled on you, I assure you wasn't my idea. Two, I'm not gay."

*Sip* *Sip* *Munch* *Rape hot woman*

"You too Steve. And I would like to say two things. One, the biggest backstab in history that we pulled on you, I assure you wasn't my idea. Two, I'm not gay."

*Sip* *Sip* *Munch* *Rape hot woman*


"Never thought you were gay"

*gasp*

*choke*

*choke*

*death*

*life*

*sip* *munch* *sip* *munch* *eat baby squirrel*

Helldawg woke up from his several day nap with a massive hangover. He stumbled about the room, accidentaly shoving a few Shoobans into a vat of acid.

"Oh well, it was only a Shooban. They're a replaceable."

The Shah screamed at the Shooban slave, "Get me a Lamb Kabob made Persian style and tastes exactly like the ones my chef makes or I will kill you."

(OOC: Just to make things interesting...)

The Shooban, sick and tired of being oppressed, repressed, brutalized, subjugated, and taken advantage of, screamed in the Shah's face, "Git it yooself, yoos lay zee beeotch!"