NationStates Jolt Archive

She grew smug and went, "F**ckers banned anime, I have them on my Jihad list. I was wondering if you at least know anybody with a grudge against them."

"I'm afraid I do not. Of course, if you like, I could have you supplied with the proper weapons and equipment to wage your jihad. However, now is not the time for such discussions. We must deal with the business at hand."

Kimiko went, "You mean that guy I just killed, or what? You're not being that clear...."

Kimiko went, "You mean that guy I just killed, or what? You're not being that clear...."

"Excuse me. On Pacitalia."

Kimiko smiled. "Well then.....our friends in The Merchant Guilds have been kind enough to donate funds, but we still may need fake Pacitalian passports, lots of gelignite, or ammonium nitrate, and definetly a list of vital Pacitalian structures-when we declare our Jihad, we want to open with a bang. If your intel guys can smuggle us in, then better."

"We have some operatives in Pacitalia, who had been supporting a rebel group there. Not much has occured, but we have people with plenty of money and influence there, could probably get you supplies and intel there."

OOC: You can just call me the Shadows rather than The Merchant Guilds

IC:

Magnus grinned at the woman...

'We hope you create much in the way of Chaos...'

He looked at the Shah, who seemed to have fallen asleep... being the character he was Magnus proceeded to flick an ice cube at the Shah's nose...

Kimiko smiled and lauged evilly, imitating Mr. Burns from The Simpsons going "Excellent."

She then smiled. "It is great to be amongst like minded peoples.......kickass, I like the offer of aid. I think I'll take it. Perhaps we could start some rioitng, and uise that as a distraction for the big event...."

Lord Shirassi gained entry to the EDLGC in a most unusual manner, on foot with no bodyguards. This would have seemed a tad more unusual were he not spikey.

http://www.geocities.com/bloody_roar_chick/ill_xion_sp.jpg
(sorry i couldnt find a better pic, the unborn is roughly like Shirassi and that pic is roughly like the unborn :P)

"SO my fellow evil doers and ruffians, who would you consider to be the most evil of the lot of you? Hmmmm?"

Magnus looked at the thing with an amused face...

'Perhaps not, perhaps you should tell us why you are so evil? I am the Lord of those the Universe calls the Shadows. That alone tells you what I am.'

He grinned and walked over to the thing, he put his hand between the spikes and let the thing see for a few seconds inside his mind.

What the thing saw was several hundred flashing scenes of terror, death, destruction, the enslavement of billions, Dryal ripping creatures apart, the bombardment of the C'tan homeworld, Lycan eating creatures while they still lived, Inquisitors destroying entire bunkers on their own and many things that no non-Shadow should ever have to see.

'Now do you understand, young one.' Magnus asked.

Antonius laughed harshly.

"Nonsense! Surely I am the most evil of all of you. Only a mind as evil as my own could concoct the idea of this establisment."

Antonius pressed a button under the table, and the screen behind him began to flash through scenes of utmost horror: slave marches and death camps in the Ukraine, the destruction of entire cities to make room for the Empire's favored white obelisks, Imperial Praetorians ravaging a small village raping women and slaying children, the infamous conquest and enslavement of the Shoobooshaaban tribals, and finally an Imperial Praetorian tearing the heart out of a man's chest and biting into it.

"Looks like the usual stuff," Lord Azazel remarked. "You haven't destroyed entire planets. None of you are more evil then Sith."

A motorcade approached the club building, the president's car surrounded by four others. They stopped and killed their engines, the president's driver got out of his vehicle quickly and opened the door. President Trotzig stepped out of the black automobile; dressed in full military uniform. Four Elitgrupp bodyguards immediately rushed to flank him and the company walked up the steps and into the building.

The doors opened and Trotzig led the way as he stepped lightly into the main room. He had been against coming in the first place but had finally given in to the pestering of his minister of foreign affairs. It was extremely rare that the supreme ruler of Zarbia ever met with others, all of his affairs were dealt with by phone or fax.

Mr. Trotzig looked around the room trying to spot one of his allies. He saw the Shah of Parthia but was hesitant to approach him. Allies was one thing, but being friends with a non-white was awkward and against everything he stood for. He continued to stand his ground, hoping someone acceptable would approach him.

Antonius laughed harshly.

"Nonsense! Surely I am the most evil of all of you. Only a mind as evil as my own could concoct the idea of this establisment."

Antonius pressed a button under the table, and the screen behind him began to flash through scenes of utmost horror: slave marches and death camps in the Ukraine, the destruction of entire cities to make room for the Empire's favored white obelisks, Imperial Praetorians ravaging a small village raping women and slaying children, the infamous conquest and enslavement of the Shoobooshaaban tribals, and finally an Imperial Praetorian tearing the heart out of a man's chest and biting into it.

Kimiko smiled. "Nay. Try blowing up a nuclear reactor and several highways for anime. Nothing else but anime."

Kimiko smiled. "Nay. Try blowing up a nuclear reactor and several highways for anime. Nothing else but anime."

Lord Azazel shook his head. "In the name of Barney, that revolting purple thing would be more evil," he mocked.

Kimiko went smuglike, and laughed. "Bah. I'm crazier than you'll ever be."

She then went, "You hate Festivus, or Yiff?"

"Hate what?" Lord Azazel asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kimiko grew cold. "Festivus. The fake holiday from Seinfeld. it is fake, yet people celebrate it, and take the joke too seriously. Also, yiff culture, you know, furries? Those guys that draw animals that look like men and women and get it on?"

Lord Azazel screwed his face up in disgust. "That sounds rather revolting, but then again some of the women I've raped," he smirked.

Kimiko smiled, "Indeed...."

Lord Azazel yawned. "Well it seems as though things are quieting down here," he remarked.

Kimiko went, "Now, now.......want a drink?"

She motioned for one of the slaves to come close. "One Cuba Libre for me, and what do you want?"

"Vodka and blood, preferably a young virgins blood, sounds good to me," Lord Azqazel said.

Kimiko said to the slave, "Well, go on, fetch our drinks!"

The slave did as he was told.

She turned to Lord Azazel. "So, do you know Pacitalia?"

"No I don't," Lord Azazel said, slowly shaking his head. "Now tell me, who or what is a Pacitalia?"

Kimiko frowned. "A lot of people don't know Pacitalia, do they? THey're a nation that banned anime, and now, I'm gonna put the hurt on those asses. I've been punishing PIcaRDMPCia and Henrytopia long enough. They're two other nations, you may have heard about them, they recieved a deliberate meltdown and a load of SEMTEX directed at their aid workers."

The slave came with the drinks.

Kimiko picked up her Cuba Libre.

Kimiko frowned. "A lot of people don't know Pacitalia, do they? THey're a nation that banned anime, and now, I'm gonna put the hurt on those asses. I've been punishing PIcaRDMPCia and Henrytopia long enough. They're two other nations, you may have heard about them, they recieved a deliberate meltdown and a load of SEMTEX directed at their aid workers."

The slave came with the drinks.

Kimiko picked up her Cuba Libre.

Antonius, having just come back to consciousness after passing out, broke into hysterical laughter at this.

Kimiko said, "Indeed, President Carpenter of PIcaRDMPCia insults me, shit goes down!"

"Thanks," said Craig, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a gold-plated Desert Eagle .50. "Turn around and bend over," he said to the slave. "Now put your head between your legs," the slave promptly did so, not knowing what was going on. "ARE YOU MOONING ME, YOU LITTLE BASTARD?" yelled Craig, pumping a slug into the slave's face, sending him flying through the air and doing a complete airborne sumersault before landing in front of Generalissimo J.L.

"Sorry about that, did he get in anything?"

Generalissimo J.L. laughed. "No, he didn't get in anything."

Lord Azazel took his drink and took a sip of it, "Bitter and coppery," he said. "Must have used a slave."

With his free hand, he took a small blade from his pocket and cut out one of the slaves eyes. "Make this mistake again," he said over the slaves screams of pain. "And I won't be this pleasent with you."

He turned back to Kimiko. "Personally I do not watch the idiotbox so I have not seen any anime," he admitted.

Magnus looked at the thing with an amused face...

'Perhaps not, perhaps you should tell us why you are so evil? I am the Lord of those the Universe calls the Shadows. That alone tells you what I am.'

He grinned and walked over to the thing, he put his hand between the spikes and let the thing see for a few seconds inside his mind.

What the thing saw was several hundred flashing scenes of terror, death, destruction, the enslavement of billions, Dryal ripping creatures apart, the bombardment of the C'tan homeworld, Lycan eating creatures while they still lived, Inquisitors destroying entire bunkers on their own and many things that no non-Shadow should ever have to see.

'Now do you understand, young one.' Magnus asked.


If this was directed at me :P

Lord Shirassi stared blankly... "I take it you tired some kind of mind trick didnt you... that's not going to work." Grinning slightly he continued. "It requires that the recipient of you power has a mind. And as to your reference to me as young" and indignant tone creeping into his voice, "I should tell you that this Post-Human (ver.?) robotic body houses a mind far far older than yours. When you destroy a planet for a comercial come back to me." Turning away Lord Shirassi muttered bitterly "would have been a lot better if the damn thing had sold more than a couple of units."

As a waiter scurried past with a random drink destined to another dictator Shirassi caught him in the face with one of his "wings" catching the drink as it flew from the unfortunates tray.

Dictator Paul 'The Mad' Silver walked into the club with his entourage of body guards, including his most trusted associate Col. John Leary at his side. The Dictator looked across the room and a sly smile crossed his face. The Giant Clock O' Doom he had donated was getting installed. Paul wondered when the first person would go up there. That would be interesting. The Dictator grabbed one of the various scantily clad waitresses by the ass and pulled her close.

"I'll have a hand rolled cuban and a Talisker 25 Year Single Malt Scotch." The Dictator said while squeezing her behind.

The waitress giggled and blushed, "Right away Sir."

The Bodyguards took station around the room while the Dictator and The Colonel Took at seat at the nearest booth.

Lord Azazel took his drink and took a sip of it, "Bitter and coppery," he said. "Must have used a slave."

With his free hand, he took a small blade from his pocket and cut out one of the slaves eyes. "Make this mistake again," he said over the slaves screams of pain. "And I won't be this pleasent with you."

He turned back to Kimiko. "Personally I do not watch the idiotbox so I have not seen any anime," he admitted.

Kimko frowned, "Tis' a shame, you're missing out on a lot."

She then chuckled. "Me, I am a dedicated fan, its just that, like all armchair madmen and therapy junkies, I like to say society drove me mad...all those haters, and that gang of boys that kicked my ass over some drawings I had.....you know what I did to them?"

She grew smug and went, "F**ckers banned anime, I have them on my Jihad list. I was wondering if you at least know anybody with a grudge against them."

"Pacitalia happens to be one of my greatest allies," J.L. said defensively. "If you so much as lay a finger on a Pacitalian citizen, I'll peel the flesh off your bones."

Antonius laughed harshly.

"Nonsense! Surely I am the most evil of all of you. Only a mind as evil as my own could concoct the idea of this establisment."

Antonius pressed a button under the table, and the screen behind him began to flash through scenes of utmost horror: slave marches and death camps in the Ukraine, the destruction of entire cities to make room for the Empire's favored white obelisks, Imperial Praetorians ravaging a small village raping women and slaying children, the infamous conquest and enslavement of the Shoobooshaaban tribals, and finally an Imperial Praetorian tearing the heart out of a man's chest and biting into it.

"My friend, please excuse me, but I believe I am the most evil," J.L. said. "Surely you remember how my nation executed Jimmy Carter?"

"Pacitalia happens to be one of my greatest allies," J.L. said defensively. "If you so much as lay a finger on a Pacitalian citizen, I'll peel the flesh off your bones."

Kimiko grew cold. "Then if you help them, we will strike, twice as hard. You don't celebrate Festivus, do you?"

Kimiko grew cold. "Then if you help them, we will strike, twice as hard. You don't celebrate Festivus, do you?"

"No, I don't celebrate Festivus. Never even heard of it," J.L. said.

Kimko frowned, "Tis' a shame, you're missing out on a lot."

She then chuckled. "Me, I am a dedicated fan, its just that, like all armchair madmen and therapy junkies, I like to say society drove me mad...all those haters, and that gang of boys that kicked my ass over some drawings I had.....you know what I did to them?"

"Tore their balls off and skinned them alive?" Lord Azazel asked with interest.

The Dictator Could hear J.L. and Kimiko arguing across the room. He and the Colonel got up with his cigar and scotch and walked over.

"Kimiko, I wouldn't do that. Such a small nation threatening such a large nation with many allies. I for one will come to the aid of both Pacitalia and Roach-Busters if you attack either country. By the way how are you doing J.L?"

The Dictator Could hear J.L. and Kimiko arguing across the room. He and the Colonel got up with his cigar and scotch and walked over.

"Kimiko, I wouldn't do that. Such a small nation threatening such a large nation with many allies. I for one will come to the aid of both Pacitalia and Roach-Busters if you attack either country. By the way how are you doing J.L?"

"I'm doing great, my friend," J.L. said, shaking the Dictator's hand. "It's great seeing you again."

"Tore their balls off and skinned them alive?" Lord Azazel asked with interest.

She smiled. "Close. First I tracked them down, then I kidnapped them, took them aboard a plane in the middle of Tibet, castrated them, tied them up, then I gave them cement shoes and then I had them thrown out of said plane, no parachutes."

"I'm doing great, my friend," J.L. said, shaking the Dictator's hand. "It's great seeing you again."

"Its great seeing you again too. I assume you remember the Colonel." Paul said pointing out Leary. "But isn't this place great. A place where all us psychopaths can hang out torture and get boozed up. Just wait until they put someone on my Giant Clock O' Doom, then things will get interesting."

"No, I don't celebrate Festivus. Never even heard of it," J.L. said.


Kimiko said, "Good. Festivus is that damned holiday from Seinfeld...anybody who celebrates it is on my Jihad list."

"And just maybe, I'll hold off...I'm busy beating smaller nations to a pulp, and sharpening my sticks for later."

"Interesting," Lord Azazel remarked. "Should have flayed them a bit before hand."

Kimiko said, "Good. Festivus is that damned holiday from Seinfeld...anybody who celebrates it is on my Jihad list."

"And just maybe, I'll hold off...I'm busy beating smaller nations to a pulp, and sharpening my sticks for later."


"Hahaha, Festivus is hilarious. I am Jewish but I still put up an Aluminum pole in my yard as a joke. Have a sense of humor will ya."

"Interesting," Lord Azazel remarked. "Should have flayed them a bit before hand."

Kimiko smiled, "Nah, too good for 'em. I wanted them to feel the sense of dread that only being thrown out of a plane with no parachute can give."

"Hahaha, Festivus is hilarious. I am Jewish but I still put up an Aluminum pole in my yard as a joke. Have a sense of humor will ya."

Kimko sighed, "I swear, in Upper Xen, there is a Universal Chord religion, you know, its like the merger of the cult from the Who's Tommy and the mystical concept from Pete Townshend's Lifehouse..... and they got to be a religion? And the Festivus guys do get annoying in Upper Xen. Sorry. That's just my life experience."

Kimiko said, "Good. Festivus is that damned holiday from Seinfeld...anybody who celebrates it is on my Jihad list."

"And just maybe, I'll hold off...I'm busy beating smaller nations to a pulp, and sharpening my sticks for later."

"Oh, God, I f***ing hate that show," J.L. said, retching in disgust.

"Would have made a good movie to show here of them hitting the ground," he smirked and sipped his drink.

She smiled. "Close. First I tracked them down, then I kidnapped them, took them aboard a plane in the middle of Tibet, castrated them, tied them up, then I gave them cement shoes and then I had them thrown out of said plane, no parachutes."

J.L. snorted derisively. "You call that evil!? You should see what I had done to Jimmy Carter!"

Kimiko smiled at J.L.'s remark. "I found the Soup Nazi funny. Anyway, I can declare Jihad on the ex-cast and crew of that show, if you like."

J.L. snorted derisively. "You call that evil!? You should see what I had done to Jimmy Carter!"

Kimiko grew defensive. "Look, I'm only 23, cut me some slack, I'm new to the whole terrorism thing, though I did score some big hits early on...."

"Would have made a good movie to show here of them hitting the ground," he smirked and sipped his drink.

Kimiko smiled. "See, he finds it evil. It's a shame, but I didn't bring my camera. Well, I do have the new footage of my events in PIcaRDMPCia and Winters End."

Kimiko smiled at J.L.'s remark. "I found the Soup Nazi funny. Anyway, I can declare Jihad on the ex-cast and crew of that show, if you like."

"Please do," J.L. said immediately, feeling deep, profound gratitude welling up inside him. "That show is an abomination!"

Kimiko said, "Duly noted."

Kimiko smiled. "See, he finds it evil. It's a shame, but I didn't bring my camera. Well, I do have the new footage of my events in PIcaRDMPCia and Winters End."

"Is it graphic?" Lord Azazel asked.

Kimiko said, "Hell yes!"

She then turned to J.L. "Hey, I just told one of my look alikes to issue a declaration of Jihad..........you up for this?"

Kimiko said, "Hell yes!"

She then turned to J.L. "Hey, I just told one of my look alikes to issue a declaration of Jihad..........you up for this?"

"Sure, I'm up for it," J.L. said. "Thanks."

Kimiko smiled, "Here is a copy of it." (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385148)

"Sounds interesting," Lord Azazel smirked.

Kimko smiled, "Well, I do aim to please.... J.L., if you want to funnel arms to us, let me know. Ruger Mini-14's are nice, but we can do better."

A servant Trotzig if he wanted an alcoholic beverage. The president peered at the man and shook his head. He didn't drink, he never had, the taste bothered him and he felt it was unwise to dull one's senses with alcohol.

He looked at Generalissimo J.L., the man was certainly a bloodthirsty ruler, he had proven that from recent actions. Trotzig approached him and introduced himself.

"Hello, Mr. J.L.? I'm Viktor Trotzig, I'm the leader of Zarbia, perhaps you have have heard of us."

Paul had been thourghly liquoured up and decided it was time to get things started. The Dictator Grabbed one of the slaves and put her at 6 o'clock on the Giant Clock O' Doom. It was now 5 o'clock.

"Well gentlemen, just you wait until 6 o'clock." The Dictator said lighting up another cigar.

Craig, having laughed his eyes out while shooting slaves, was now drinking himself to death at the bar. Speaking to a person next to him, who he had no clue as to who they where, he said,

"Hey... heey yoou... I wonduur... if the cl- clo- clouuds f- f- fly like a b- b- birdie... liiike that one s- s- song..."

Lord Shirassi turned to face the drunkard... patted him on the head, and kicked the stool from under him before getting up and stalking out.

Antonius, having completed his scheming for the night, decided it was time to celebrate. He stood and walked back out into the lounge.

"In honor of the success of the opening of the club, everyone have a round on me!"

The slaves and waiters rushed about, taking orders and bringing drinks and cigars to everyone present. On a stage towards the front of the club, Guns 'N' Roses, each member kidnapped and forced to reform the original band at gunpoint, began to play.

Resisting the very strong temptation to kill everyone in the room (or kidnap a good band like MUSE) left the club in a hurry. Taking some of the gifts with him as he went. Payment would probably be dealt with on his next visit.

The Dictator was now severely inebriated when the clock struck six and the blades started digging into the slave of the clock. Slowly blood started spraying everywhere. Because the clock was above the band Guns and Roses got covered with blood. Clearly upset they were forced to keep playing at gunpoint. The Dictator saw Axel Rose was cringing.

" Hey...hic...Don't you cring while you are playing. Now I am going to make you dance." Now Paul Silver started to show where he got the nickname 'The Mad' from. Pulling out his fully automatic Sig Sauer/Democratic Colonies P221 and slapping in a special curved 50 round magazine. He started firing at Axel Rose's feet making him jump around while playing. Paul got sick of this game at shot Axel five times in each foot. Rose stopped playing and started screaming.

"You...You...continue playing or I blow your brains out. The Dictator pointed his gun at Axel Roses head. Rose started playing again, all the while crying.

The Dictator was now severely inebriated when the clock struck six and the blades started digging into the slave of the clock. Slowly blood started spraying everywhere. Because the clock was above the band Guns and Roses got covered with blood. Clearly upset they were forced to keep playing at gunpoint. The Dictator saw Axel Rose was cringing.

" Hey...hic...Don't you cring while you are playing. Now I am going to make you dance." Now Paul Silver started to show where he got the nickname 'The Mad' from. Pulling out his fully automatic Sig Sauer/Democratic Colonies P221 and slapping in a special curved 50 round magazine. He started firing at Axel Rose's feet making him jump around while playing. Paul got sick of this game at shot Axel five times in each foot. Rose stopped playing and started screaming.

"You...You...continue playing or I blow your brains out. The Dictator pointed his gun at Axel Roses head. Rose started playing again, all the while crying.

Slash began to laugh hysterically as his arch-nemesis was forced to sing in excruciating pain.

The Dictator saw Slash laughing.

"You like that do you, huh. Well here is more where that came from." The Dictator reloaded his weapon and shot Axel in both upper arms ten times. Axel screamed out in agony, but kept playing as he knew he would have no chance of surviving if he didn't keep playing. But he was slowly bleeding to death and would die soon if medical attention didn't get to him soon. The Dictator got his 'special' doctors out from his multiple hotel rooms. Within 20 minutes they were at the club.

"Keep him alive, but keep him alive in as much pain as possible."

"Is it just me or does he sing like a cat being strangled?" Lord Azazel asked the others.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7814540#post7814540

"OK, ladies and gentlemen, Operation Evilus Maximus is officialy underway. I made sure that all of you were well represented in the corporation carrying out the testing operation. Now, if you'll all follow me, we will relocate to the Doomingsland wing of the club, located in a secret volcano island base..."

OOC:You can all RP workers in the operation, but I've got the CEO and merc commander. Someone can also RP the company constructing the ship to put it into orbit.

Kimko shrugged, "I can kidnap the Who and bring them here, if you like. I also have access to black ops cloning tech, provided by some corporate friends, so all of the original members will be back.....Guns n' Roses are nice, but they are nothing comapred to the Who."

"Who's The Who?" Lord Azazel asked. "I much prefer classical, would anyone object to me bringing in a cloned Mozart?"

Kimiko smiled. "They are a British rock band from the late 60's to the 1970's.....classic rock, everybody in Upper Xen loves them, they even have their own cult in UX. They did that song Baba O'Riley, ever heard it, it is most commonly known as 'Teenage Wasteland...' also, they did that song Pinball Wizard."

Lord Azazel shook his head. "Doesn't mean anything to me," he replied.

Kimiko shook her head, "Too bad, not enough classic rockers....."

She then said, "Do bring in that cloned Mozart, or kidnap Monty Python and clone Graham Chapman."

"It will take a while as I'll have to have a couple of clones shipped in," Lord Azazel said, closing his eyes for a moment. "Done, they should be on their way."

Kimiko went, "Mozart or Graham Chapman?

"Mozart, I have no idea who this other being is," Lord Azazel replied.

Halick Mahogny walked into the room, dressed in a purple suit and tie.
"'ello Gentlemen, or should I call you wickedmen?
This...operation in south america seems interesting enough, nothing better than dumbing radioactive slag into other nations..."
Alick took a seat and ordered a glass of vodka.
"So, what's your favourite animal in a fight? Against humans and...other things"
This might yet prove to be a interesting night...

"Mozart, I have no idea who this other being is," Lord Azazel replied.

Kimko smiled, "Graham Chapman was one of the members of Monty Python, THE British comedy group.....hilarious, they did 'Monty Python and The Holy Grail' and 'Monty Python's Life of Brian.' He died of AIDS......a shame, he was one of the great comedians."

"Ah AIDS, he was in indirect victim of mine then," Lord Azazel gleamed.

Kimiko went, "You invented AIDS? You are a monster." She then laughed.

"It's one of my favourite diseases that I spread over mankind," he smirked.

Kimiko smiled. "Well.....now that is evil. I mostly used dirty bombs and fake anthrax, and maybe the occasional SEMTEX blast. We also rob banks....."

She smiled. "I'm actually planning the kidnapping of Yuna of Sevaris......"

"Yuna, Yuna, never heard of it," he replied, finishing his drink.

Kimiko went, "Nevermind. She's a random world leader....I take it you're future tech."

Kimiko went, "You invented AIDS? You are a monster." She then laughed.

"Indeed, why else would he be in this club?" J.L. said, chuckling.

"Indeed, why else would he be in this club?" J.L. said, chuckling.

Kimiko smiled. "Well, at least I know I am in good company."

"I'll buy drinks for everyone."

Kimiko smiled. "Well, at least I know I am in good company."

"I'll buy drinks for everyone."

"Thanks," J.L. said. "But if you buy drinks, I insist on buying dinner for everyone. I'm a multibillionaire, so don't worry."

She said, "Not a problem! Whaddya all want? I'll have a Cuba Libre."

She said, "Not a problem! Whaddya all want? I'll have a Cuba Libre."

"I'll have root beer," J.L. said.

"I'll have root beer," J.L. said.

Kimiko wrote that down. "Anybody else?"

Kimiko went, "Nevermind. She's a random world leader....I take it you're future tech."

"Well to some primitive nations it could be future tech but thats just their fault for not having FTL tech," Lord Azazel remarked.

"Well to some primitive nations it could be future tech but thats just their fault for not having FTL tech," Lord Azazel remarked.

Kimiko said, "Well, I suppose you could put it that way......"

Mr. Trotzig gave up trying to talk to J.L. and walked towards a table with food on it. His lip curled as he saw what was being served so he left the table and walked over to his bodyguards.

"I knew this was a terrible idea," he mumbled angrily.

"Sir, shall we leave?" asked one of the bodyguards.

"We'll stay a few more minutes, if no one talks to me then we'll leave."

Magnus laughed at the thing that seemed to think it was older than the tradition of the Shadows. He knew for a fact there were only two races older than the original Shadows of Z'ha'dum, The First Ones and the Vorlons.

Magnus clicked his fingers and his two Nosferatu guards approached.

We will be leaving for the Doomingslandian branch of the club, please alert the Battlecrab. Oh get Z'ha'dum to send me a live link to the gladitorial games, also get a few of my slaves to come here. I need 'entertaining' and i'm sure some of my friends would appreciate their... abilities...

The Nosferatu bowed and said something in an old language;

The Inquisitor-General has arrived, my Lord. He awaits in the Battlecrab, he says he must discuss with you some of the projects as well as the C'tan.

Magnus signed and nodded.

Now everybody let us be of to see our first collective evil plan through to completion.

Kimiko said, "Well, I suppose you could put it that way......"

"And what about your nation?" Lord Azazel asked.

Magnus laughed at the thing that seemed to think it was older than the tradition of the Shadows. He knew for a fact there were only two races older than the original Shadows of Z'ha'dum, The First Ones and the Vorlons.

Magnus clicked his fingers and his two Nosferatu guards approached.

We will be leaving for the Doomingslandian branch of the club, please alert the Battlecrab. Oh get Z'ha'dum to send me a live link to the gladitorial games, also get a few of my slaves to come here. I need 'entertaining' and i'm sure some of my friends would appreciate their... abilities...

The Nosferatu bowed and said something in an old language;

The Inquisitor-General has arrived, my Lord. He awaits in the Battlecrab, he says he must discuss with you some of the projects as well as the C'tan.

Magnus signed and nodded.

Now everybody let us be of to see our first collective evil plan through to completion.
"Don't worry, my friend, there will be plenty of gladiatorial games when we get there, it IS our national sport, after all." he said, disappearing in a red firey cloud.

"And what about your nation?" Lord Azazel asked.

Kimiko smiled. "You could say we are a coalition of anime fans that will not take it anymore. We have been pushed to the edge, and we will fight for our right to watch anime, and live the anime lifestyle, and even have anime recoginzed as a religion of sorts. If that means innocent people die, if that means nuclear reactors get blown up, so be it. We don't have access to fantastic FTL, but we do have workshops to build illegal copies of guns....lots of guns."

Lord Azazel laughed. "Guns are pointless when your enemy can destroy your cities from space," he said. "You should really think about investing in FTL."

Lord Azazel laughed. "Guns are pointless when your enemy can destroy your cities from space," he said. "You should really think about investing in FTL."

Kimiko smiled, "No thanks, we prefer more intimate methods of death and violence....attacking from space is nice, but for me, there is nothing like going upclose to the target and using some good old fashioned SEMTEX to blow it up."

She then said, "You want something else to drink, I'm taking orders...."

"Oh the usual, vodka with the blood of a virgin," Lord Azazel said. "Anyway, destroying entire cities is always a good way to install fear into a nations civillians."

"Oh the usual, vodka with the blood of a virgin," Lord Azazel said. "Anyway, destroying entire cities is always a good way to install fear into a nations civillians."


Kimiko smiled. "How deliciously evil.......anybody else want drinks?"

"Yes, yes it is," he smirked.

Kimiko smiled. "Got any advanced explosive formulas or something of the kind?"

"Well we have naquadah," Lord Azazel said. "Can be used in in bombs and other weapons."

Kimiko hugged him. "I love you. How much can you sell for about a billion American dollars in silver bars?"

Lord Azazel stepped back and put his hand up. "No hugging, I don't hug," he growled. "I'm not sure, I will have to ask those in the naquadah department."

Lord Azazel stepped back and put his hand up. "No hugging, I don't hug," he growled. "I'm not sure, I will have to ask those in the naquadah department."

Kimiko stepped back and said, "Sorry. It is just that I would like to get my hands on some of this stuff ASAP......it may make for a jolly good time."

Lord Azazel grinned. "Stay on my good side and I shall see what I can do for you," he said.

She then said, "Agreed...."

Lord Azazel nodded. "Now where is that drink?"

Magnus stepped up to Kimiko...

Oh by the way, I've increased your funding 50% because A) I felt like it B) Your quite beautiful C) because Pacilitia annoyed me.

Cause havoc, Kimiko

Magnus gave that little predatorial smile... as a signal for the greater evil in the plan...

Kimiko laughed back, and said, "Thank you, Magnus. We will use your gifts well."

She then grabbed a slave by the scruff of his neck, and ordered him to fetch the drinks.

He duly obeyed, and ran off.

"Can't get good slaves any more," Lord Azazel scowled. "They keep saying its against something called 'human rights' so I have to keep killing them."

Kimiko said, "Well, human rights, it is nice, but I believe that when somebody does something to warrant revenge from you, they just forfeitied those rights."

tag

"I'm all for human rights actually," Lord Azazel admitted. "But only because abusing human rights is so much fun."

Kimiko said, "Well, same here......sometimes, I am inclined to agree."

The slave returned with everybody's drinks.

She picked up the tray, and shoved the slave into the ground.

"Drinks are here!" she yelled, as she pointed to the drinks.

Kimiko said, "Well, same here......sometimes, I am inclined to agree."

The slave returned with everybody's drinks.

She picked up the tray, and shoved the slave into the ground.

"Drinks are here!" she yelled, as she pointed to the drinks.

"Thank God, I was getting thirsty!" Generalissimo J.L. eagerly snatched his can of root beer and chugged it, downing the whole can in seconds. He belched. "Thanks, got any more?"

Executor Xavier Davidson, having been recently accepted into the EDLGC, calmly walked from his modified Lexus and into the club's headquarters, carrying the severed head of a Mississippian citizen, for no apparent reason.

Executor Xavier Davidson, having been recently accepted into the EDLGC, calmly walked from his modified Lexus and into the club's headquarters, carrying the severed head of a Mississippian citizen, for no apparent reason.

J.L. gaped at the sight of Davidson. "Y'know, you look kinda like a character from a certain RPG I played once..." he said, seeming very wistful. "Your name wouldn't happen to be Squall, would it? Er, no wait..."

J.L. gaped at the sight of Davidson. "Y'know, you look kinda like a character from a certain RPG I played once..." he said, seeming very wistful. "Your name wouldn't happen to be Squall, would it? Er, no wait..."

Davidson put down the head on an empty table, then turned at J.L. "RPG? Ah. I understand... Square-Enix used my outfit for FF VII's main character. I think his name was 'Cloud' or something.

A lawsuit is already being filed."

"I'm all for human rights actually," Lord Azazel admitted. "But only because abusing human rights is so much fun."

"Hear, hear!" J.L. said, applauding with much enthusiasm.

Davidson put down the head on an empty table, then turned at J.L. "RPG? Ah. I understand... Square-Enix used my outfit for FF VII's main character. I think his name was 'Cloud' or something.

A lawsuit is already being filed."

J.L. chuckled. "I see. Interesting. Cloud...Strife, was it? Anyway, please refrain from suing them. They have made some excellent games. My favorites are Secret of Mana and Chrono Trigger."

Kimiko smiled. "Executor Davidson of Tyrandis? So, you're the one that looks like Cloud......I'm Kimiko Ayasugi from the Real Anime Liberation Movement. You kill all those people in Angola? Cause I could've brainwashed them and turned them into anime fans."

Kimiko smiled. "Executor Davidson of Tyrandis? So, you're the one that looks like Cloud......I'm Kimiko Ayasugi from the Real Anime Liberation Movement. You kill all those people in Angola? Cause I could've brainwashed them and turned them into anime fans."

"Well, I didn't really order the killings... I just sorta encouraged my colonial governor to do it. As in, if he didn't commit the genocide, he'd be fired. In an oven.

Anime fans? No. Just... no."

Kimiko grew cold. "You don't like anime, then? I really could have put them to better use, like slave laborers for my Russian associates to trade."

"Want a drink? The slaves here are quite quick......"

Kimiko grew cold. "You don't like anime, then? I really could have put them to better use, like slave laborers for my Russian associates to trade."

"Yes, I hate anime. Every few days or so, some fangirl tries to break in to my house hoping to get a glimpse of me. Usually it ends in a wasted bullet.

I was thinking about slave labor, but the inbreeding inherent in every citizen of DA would make them unfit for the work."

Real ALM:
Having problems with the world community after your terror attacks?
When force fails, use extreme force!
Preferable nerve gas that is ;)
I am sure there would be many nations that would be happy to lend a helping hand in your favour, those democratic pigs who wants to destroy the anime watchers way of life must die!

"Anyone want some slaves?" J.L. asked.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385979

"Yes, I hate anime. Every few days or so, some fangirl tries to break in to my house hoping to get a glimpse of me. Usually it ends in a wasted bullet.

I was thinking about slave labor, but the inbreeding inherent in every citizen of DA would make them unfit for the work."

Kimiko said, "That is sad, they should know the difference between you and Cloud....obviously, you have better manners, and you rule an empire. Him, he is an polygon construct who isn't that cool. They say I look like this girl named Megumi Hayashibara, but anybody who says that usually gets shot. I am much cooler than her."

"You want a drink?"



OOC: pimpin hood, try to actually RP your man coming into the club.

"Anyone want some slaves?" J.L. asked.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385979

Kimiko then said, "Well, I might be interested, I have some Russian friends to repay....or, I could just use them for staffing my arms factories and to make copies of RPG-7V's."

Kimiko said, "That is sad, they should know the difference between you and Cloud....obviously, you have better manners, and you rule an empire. Him, he is an polygon construct who isn't that cool. They say I look like this girl named Megumi Hayashibara, but anybody who says that usually gets shot. I am much cooler than her."

"You want a drink?"



OOC: pimpin hood, try to actually RP your man coming into the club.

J.L. looked at Kimiko closely. "Now that you mention it, you do look kind of like her. Which is most definitely intended as a compliment, for I find her exceedingly attractive. Alas, being a married man, I cannot and will not pursue you. No woman comes before my wife."

J.L. looked at Kimiko closely. "Now that you mention it, you do look kind of like her. Which is most definitely intended as a compliment, for I find her exceedingly attractive. Alas, being a married man, I cannot and will not pursue you. No woman comes before my wife."

Kimiko said, "Why thank you. You can use our services, free, as a result. Nobody is up for an anti-Seinfeld Jihad, apparently. You still up for it?"

Kimiko said, "Why thank you. You can use our services, free, as a result. Nobody is up for an anti-Seinfeld Jihad, apparently. You still up for it?"

"Sure," J.L. said. "By the way, are you single? My Secretaries of Diplomacy and Law and Order are both single Asian males."

Kimiko said, "That is sad, they should know the difference between you and Cloud....obviously, you have better manners, and you rule an empire. Him, he is an polygon construct who isn't that cool. They say I look like this girl named Megumi Hayashibara, but anybody who says that usually gets shot. I am much cooler than her."

"You want a drink?"


Davidson chuckled. "No thanks on the drink. Alcohol is bad for the health, after all.

I wondered why you looked familiar. My country uses Hello!Project music as a psychological weapon. Within five minutes, its victims collapse and go into spasms."

OOC: I kind of did, some pages back, but I'll rewind and do it all again!

IC: Halick Mahogny rose from his seat and walked backwards out of the room and out to the street were a Pimpmobile (http://www.mike-myers.net/pimpmobile.jpg) backed up and...*ritch* Halick Mahogny stepped out of the car and corrected his tie and studied the large building while his driver closed his door and drove of to park the car.
"Flashy, I like it" He said as he walked into the large lobby, and after asking for directions (it WAS a very large building after all, who knows where one could end up...) entered the bar.
After choosing a free seat he sat down and ordered a drink, with umbrellas of course...

Davidson chuckled. "No thanks on the drink. Alcohol is bad for the health, after all.

I wondered why you looked familiar. My country uses Hello!Project music as a psychological weapon. Within five minutes, its victims collapse and go into spasms."

Kimiko went, "Cool.....We use old Soviet Army Band and ICP music as our psych weapon. It is quite effective, and its gets our workers to shut up when they won't build guns for us."

She then said, "I f**king hate Insane Clown Posse. I'm adding them to my jihad list."

"Sure," J.L. said. "By the way, are you single? My Secretaries of Diplomacy and Law and Order are both single Asian males."

Kimiko smiled, and went, "Kickass, the Diplomat sounds nice, my sister would like the other one.....though we are estranged at the moment."

"By the way, J.L. Thanks for the free slaves. I know it is a one-timer, but you are awesome."

Viktor Trotzig saw a man enter the club, a man he thought he recognized.

'Holy shit, it's that Tyrandis scumbag...' he thought to himself.

Zarbians hated Tyrandisians. Hated.

"By the way, J.L. Thanks for the free slaves. I know it is a one-timer, but you are awesome."

"Thanks," he said, and winked at her.

"Thanks," he said, and winked at her.

Kimiko winked back and sat on the couch.

She ordered a slave to come by, and when he did, she used the slave as an ottoman.

She turned on the TV, and flipped it to the news...the news was grim, apparently, DA had some internal hiccups, and was in a state of flux.

"So what's this I hear about DA?"

Kimiko winked back and sat on the couch.

She ordered a slave to come by, and when he did, she used the slave as an ottoman.

She turned on the TV, and flipped it to the news...the news was grim, apparently, DA had some internal hiccups, and was in a state of flux.

"So what's this I hear about DA?"

"It seems as if the Fabuses have been captured. Also, Angola has been brutalized by Tyrandis. They're committing mass genocide there," J.L. explained.

"It seems as if the Fabuses have been captured. Also, Angola has been brutalized by Tyrandis. They're committing mass genocide there," J.L. explained.

Kimiko said, "Well, I do know about the genocide part, quite miserable. I could have-heck you could have-put them to work. And it is a shame the Fabuses were taken, I hear Upper Xen captured Herman Von Thaller after Curtis Fabus raided them, and he is in Hong Kong. That has nothing to do with the recent Fabus seizures, they are treating him well, they haven't done anything with him. If anything, he is a local celebrity, and rumor has it, he is in love....."

OOC: Reference thread: http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=369588

J.L. yawned. "I'm bored."

Kimiko went, "Wanna play rock, paper, scissors?"

Kimiko went, "Wanna play rock, paper, scissors?"

J.L. shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Kimiko held her hand behind her back.

"Standard rules, count of three."

"Is this the version that involves some kind of decapitation?" Lord Azazel asked.

"Is this the version that involves some kind of decapitation?" Lord Azazel asked.

Kimiko shook her head. "Not quite, sorry. But we will endorse a swift kick in the hindquarters, if you wish."

Lord Azazel grumbled. "It's no fun if no one gets decapitated," he remarked.

President Holtz walks in, "Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't been around recently, I do run a country though."

OOC: actually, in RL, I've been playing Halo 2 on the Xbox I got for Christmas.

OOC: Haha, I too was burdened with an overload of Christmas gifts. Back now, though.

IC: The Lord Emperor snapped from his trance-like state in the chair.
"Woah! I need to lay off that wine.. it's doing things to my head."

"It seems as if the Fabuses have been captured. Also, Angola has been brutalized by Tyrandis. They're committing mass genocide there," J.L. explained.

Shah Khosru began to speak, "The Fabuses are captured? what happened?"

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7814540#post7814540

"OK, ladies and gentlemen, Operation Evilus Maximus is officialy underway. I made sure that all of you were well represented in the corporation carrying out the testing operation. Now, if you'll all follow me, we will relocate to the Doomingsland wing of the club, located in a secret volcano island base..."

OOC:You can all RP workers in the operation, but I've got the CEO and merc commander. Someone can also RP the company constructing the ship to put it into orbit.
All of a sudden, the club went dark, and a firey cloud appeared near the others. When it cleared, Emperor Helldawg was standing there in his armor. "Well, is anyone coming or not? The operation appears to be going smoothly, so far, but there are some meddlers."

Generalissimo J.L. yawned. "So, has anyone heard of my war against the Arctic recently?"

Shah Khosru began to speak, "The Fabuses are captured? what happened?"

Kimiko went, "Your Highness, I don't think that really happened, especially since they returned.......with a vengance."

She smiled. "The Shah of Parthia? It is an honor to meet you."

She then curtsied, respectfully of course. "I was just playing rock, paper, scissors. Wanna join?"

Generalissimo J.L. yawned. "So, has anyone heard of my war against the Arctic recently?"

Kimiko raised her hand and smiled. "I did, it was quite evil....."

Generalissimo J.L. yawned. "So, has anyone heard of my war against the Arctic recently?"

"Actually no, do tell?"

Secretary of Diplomacy Chong Moua and Secretary of Law and Order Chia Neng Lee walked in. They both gaped at the sight of Kimiko and began salivating excessively and whistling like trains. "You're...the...most...beautiful...thing...I've...ever...seen," they both said simultaneously.

"Actually no, do tell?"

J.L. smiled blandly. "Oh, nothing too special. I'm deploying 75% of my military to the Arctic to inflict as much damage on the environment as possible. I call it 'Operation Pissoffasmanyleftiesaspossible."

Secretary of Diplomacy Chong Moua and Secretary of Law and Order Chia Neng Lee walked in. They both gaped at the sight of Kimiko and began salivating excessively and whistling like trains. "You're...the...most...beautiful...thing...I've...ever...seen," they both said simultaneously.

Kimiko bowed and said, "Glad to see you feel that way. Name's Kimiko Ayasugi."

She then handed them a hanky, and smiled. "Hate to interrupt your birdwatching festival, but do you mind cleaning up a little?"

"Interesting," Lord Azazel said. "And when they protest, shoot them right?"

Kimiko bowed and said, "Glad to see you feel that way. Name's Kimiko Ayasugi."

She then handed them a hanky, and smiled. "Hate to interrupt your birdwatching festival, but do you mind cleaning up a little?"

They were too busy engaging in a scuffle to notice her question. They shoved, wrestled, thrashed, and tousled each other, exchanging blows and bombarding each other with a flurry of swift punches. "No, she's mine!" "No, I saw her first!" "No, you..."

"Interesting," Lord Azazel said. "And when they protest, shoot them right?"

"But of course," J.L. said, bowing his head slightly.

Man talk about taking over the Ottoman Alliance. Acre Union want to take it over and I pledge help, by sending Guerillas. I hope my men make Hartaria suffer with his empty threats.

Lord Azazel smirked. "Thats why I allow protest gatherings, I always enjoy a good bloodbath," he said, taking a sip off his drink. "Makes up for the centuries I spent in that hell dimension."

J.L. smiled blandly. "Oh, nothing too special. I'm deploying 75% of my military to the Arctic to inflict as much damage on the environment as possible. I call it 'Operation Pissoffasmanyleftiesaspossible."


"Be sure to use a few dirty bombs for good measure" said Shah Khosru with a smirk.

They were too busy engaging in a scuffle to notice her question. They shoved, wrestled, thrashed, and tousled each other, exchanging blows and bombarding each other with a flurry of swift punches. "No, she's mine!" "No, I saw her first!" "No, you..."

She then went up and went, "Now, gentlemen.......there's no need to fight for me, save that for the haters and feminist hacks."

She then walked up to Chong Moua. "Anyway, I've made my choice...."

J.L. smiled blandly. "Oh, nothing too special. I'm deploying 75% of my military to the Arctic to inflict as much damage on the environment as possible. I call it 'Operation Pissoffasmanyleftiesaspossible."

At this comment, Xavier turned around. "Hey, if you screw up my oil drilling operations there, expect a bit of OUR environmental waste to come heading your way, courtesy of a few thousand TSSM-20 ICBMs..."

"Be sure to use a few dirty bombs for good measure" said Shah Khosru with a smirk.

"Oh, we will, all right," J.L. said, grinning devilishly.

She then went up and went, "Now, gentlemen.......there's no need to fight for me, save that for the haters and feminist hacks."

She then walked up to Chong Moua. "Anyway, I've made my choice...."

Moua smiled and began running his fingers through her hair. "Baby, you made a wise, wise choice," he said in a soft, seductive, suave voice.

Lee's vehement fury ceased as soon as J.L. shot him a disapproving look and another hot woman walked in. She winked at Lee, and his eyes bulged as he raced after her.

At this comment, Xavier turned around. "Hey, if you screw up my oil drilling operations there, expect a bit of OUR environmental waste to come heading your way, courtesy of a few thousand TSSM-20 ICBMs..."

"Your oil drilling operations will not be hindered in the slightest," J.L. said, patting Xavier reassuringly on the shoulder.

President Holtz became disgusted at the others who were acting so immaturely. "Morons..." he thought.

Moua smiled and began running his fingers through her hair. "Baby, you made a wise, wise choice," he said in a soft, seductive, suave voice.

Lee's vehement fury ceased as soon as J.L. shot him a disapproving look and another hot woman walked in. She winked at Lee, and his eyes bulged as he raced after her.

Kimiko laughed. "Indeed I did...."

President Holtz became disgusted at the others who were acting so immaturely. "Morons..." he thought.

"Yo, is you talkin' 'bout me, mudda fugga?" Lee bellowed, trying his damnedest (and failing miserably) to impersonate the stereotypical street thug.

President Holtz became disgusted at the others who were acting so immaturely. "Morons..." he thought.

Kimiko glared at him, and said, "Man, don't be square, we're just havin' some fun..."

Kimiko laughed. "Indeed I did...."

Moua caressed her leg slowly, very slowly, his thin, tapered fingers gently stroking her thigh. He leaned toward her and whispered in her ear, "Would you like to stop by my mansion later?" he asked, gazing upon her with an amorous and profoundly interested expression.

John looked away, still disgusted. "Anyway, could you guys at least take it somewhere else?" he asked?

Moua caressed her leg slowly, very slowly, his thin, tapered fingers gently stroking her thigh. He leaned toward her and whispered in her ear, "Would you like to stop by my mansion later?" he asked, gazing upon her with an amorous and profoundly interested expression.

She said, imitating Marlene Deitrich, "If you can ensure no one finds out, yeah.....there are a lot of people, babe, that want me dead. But then again, everybody here, there must be somebody who has a bounty on them..."

The Dictator Turned to J.L. "Well I have gotten bored, I am leaving. Nice to see you again."

With that Dictator Paul 'The Mad' Silver turned to Col. John Leary who signalled the guards. the guards appeared out of nowhere. The Dictator and Leary went out the club got into their limo and left to the airport.

She said, imitating Marlene Deitrich, "If you can ensure no one finds out, yeah.....there are a lot of people, babe, that want me dead. But then again, everybody here, there must be somebody who has a bounty on them..."


"Baby, I would never let anyone hurt you," he said, and began frantically kissing her.

The Dictator Turned to J.L. "Well I have gotten bored, I am leaving. Nice to see you again."

With that Dictator Paul 'The Mad' Silver turned to Col. John Leary who signalled the guards. the guards appeared out of nowhere. The Dictator and Leary went out the club got into their limo and left to the airport.

"Likewise, sir," J.L. said, shaking the Dictator's hand. "I look forward to seeing you again, my friend."

Bhalk runs in circle before sitting down ontop of J.L. then gets up and goes and stars chugging from champagne fountain.

Lord Gabon, Destroyer of Worlds, most feared in the Cyna Nebula, Ravager of the Olov System, Slayer of A'ras, Son of O'ras, Controller of the "Honey Buttercup" Fleet of Doom, arives at the Lounge...wearing a tropical shirt and sandals with socks.

"Ahhhhh...." he said, stretching his blue arms over his bald head. His black horns glistened in the sunlight, and his red eyes were barely percievable through his squinted brow.

"Time to have a vacation." he said, walking towards the lounge as airplanes flew overhead.

Cyrus stands up, Trilly at his feet, and walks over to the bar. Noticing the new comer, he nods at him to come over.

Gabon sees a strange person signaling him to come over.

Gabon approched the person, his red eyes looking longingly at the bar behind him.

"Hello, new person, I'm Cyrus, let me offer you a drink"

Lord Gabon replied, his voice its usual gruff, slightly high quality.
"I am Lord Gabon, Destroyer of Worlds, most feared in the Cyna Nebula, Ravager of the Olov System, Slayer of A'ras, Son of O'ras, Controller of the "Honey Buttercup" Fleet of Doom, and...and..."

He looked down for a moment, scratching his blue head as he did so.
"Aww...screw it. Barkeep, give me the strongest thing you got."

Gabon looked over at Cyrus and said, "So...where you from?"

"Nation of Fortune. The whole nation is nothing more than mercenaries, but being that I'm the heir to the dictator, that might change. I routinely kill political activists, and feed them to Trilly here" he points at his cougar. "I also have set out a campaign to lower the legal conscription age down to 6 months, from 2 years"

Gabon looked at the cougar, startled that he didn't see it before.

Damn it...all I have is that stupid platypus... he thought.

"Well, to be honest, I was expecting you to be from Jersey...or something like that." Gabon said, looking now at the barkeeper who passed him a small shotglass.

"What's this!? A shotglass!?" Gabon said, his face contorted with rage, "Give me a pint, ya damn hippy!"

"But sir," the bartender started, "that much would kill y-"

"Just get it, would ya?" Gabon said, swigging the shotglass as he did so. He turned to Cyrus, "Well, that's interesting enough. From a mercinary land you said? Well, that's unique. I'm just a Keloon, you know: an alien race that's been trying to conquer the galaxy for years, being of indescriminate evil, show no mercy...blah-blah, yak-yak. Ho-hum, pass the butter. Probably seen a dozen like me around here."

"Not many aliens around here, but many bent on global domination. And we can't forget those that want nothing more than to piss of the lefties. Hold on a second" Cyrus said as he produced a Desert Eagle and shot a slave, causing some of the people in the room to duck.

"Go get him girl!" he told Trilly, and then told the bartender, who was quivering on the floor, "get me a dish of water."

Looking back at Gabon, "well anyway, what brings you here?"

Gabon didn't even look up when the shot was fired, he was too busy enjoing his pint of hard liquor. He felt a buzz for a while, but it left soon enough.

"Well, I've been conquering for a while now...just finished knocking off the last of my arch nemisis - the Charakians, and so I decided to just come here and have some fun in the sun."

Gabon took a sip again, the buzz comming back a little stronger now.

"That, and I didn't have anything better to do on a Saturday."

With that, Gabon tilted his cup back and drained it in a matter of seconds. He slamed the pint on the table and wipped his mouth. He looked at the pint carefully, with one red eye closed, before he suddenly yelled:

"Barkeep!!! Where the hell is that little umbrella-thingy that comes with these drinks!?"

"I don't kn-know, sir." the barkeep said, still in shock from the gun firing, "I su-supose I didn't know your lordship requested an umbrella. I co-"

"WHAT!?" Gabon shouted, suddenly leaping over the counter and grabbing the barkeep by the neck and pinning him against the wall. His huge arm muscles' veins were pumping as he held the barkeep up with one arm.

"Know this...you little fat man..." Gabon whispered, his right hand's wrist deploying a conceled blade, "I...ALWAYS have an umbrella with my drink...Is that undrestood!?"

"Yeth thir..." the bartender said, his face turning red from the pressure.

"Good..." said Gabon, dropping the barkeep and jumping back over the table.

"Get me another of these." Gabon said, causing the bartender to scurry away.

"Oh, and one more thing..." Gabon said, his eyes glistening, "Get me some of those little red-cherry things, would you?"

Gabon turned back to Cyrus, "So, anyone else I should know here. Any...eligable overlordlesses?"

"Kimiko from The Real ALM comes to mind, but she seems to be into that guy from Roach-Busters, so I would stay away. Just about any slave you see could be used for whatever, and somewhere around here theirs a Harem. I'm not sure where it is as I think with my rifle more than my dick."
Upon thinking about it he had only ever loved one person, and decided he wanted her to be happy more than anything. Anybody other then that one person, was nothing more than a tool. The only other exceptiom to that rule was trilly, but since she was a cougar, it didn't matter.
"I didn't notice any other female leaders here at all."

Trotzig walked towards his bodyguards and said in a loud voice, "This club is terrible. It is just a haven for communists and cowards, with a few exceptions. Let's get the hell out of here."

Trotzig walked towards his bodyguards and said in a loud voice, "This club is terrible. It is just a haven for communists and cowards, with a few exceptions. Let's get the hell out of here."
I do hope your not speaking of me

"Great...great..." Gabon said, taking a deep swig and draining his drink, "the one evil overlordess in this whole place is taken by some guy from a country called Roach-Busters!?" Gabon slammed the pint on the table, the bartender jumped from behind the counter, filled it up again, then ducked back behind it.

"Oh...and I know about Harems...trust me! I know. Been to a lot in my time...no thank you. I'm into something more long-term here. Need an heir to the Empire afterall..." Gabon took another swig, draining half the glass. He looked at Cyrus from the corner of his eye.

"I know...I know... you must be wondering: 'Why on earth isn't this guy dead yet!? He's drunken a lot of alchohol!' Well, Keloon physiology is just that way. Actually, I barely feel it. This stuff's like tapwater."

Gabon looked down at his cup, looking at his reflection through the refracted glass, "Ah..she probably's ugly anyway."

Gabon suddenly jumped up and looked around. "So, I'm ready to hit the shooting range. You know where that is?"

"From what I can tell, she is anything but ugly. Actually I do know where that is, but I must warn you, Nation of Fortune is known for it's snipers, I may not be the best in the country, but I rank way up in the top 5"

"And I'll warn you about this..." Gabon said, pausing for a moment.

"...I cheat." Gabon looked to his left flank and said, "Ka'hsl da'ma da'loon"

A strange weapon appeared at his side, it was long and jet-like with small spiky protrusions all over it. The various splits in the material could see a variety of blue and purple lights glowing in it. It was truley a beautiful device, with various artwork and mottos painted on it in the Keloon tounge.

"Well...let's go the long way. I feel a tour is in order." Gabon clapped his hands twice and a few Keloon slaves, noticable by their cut horns, came over holding a litter. Gabon got in and turned on the stereo system. He decided some Floyd was in order.

OOC: I've got to go. Talk to you later.

Coo.

Cyrus pulled out an M40A3, from his dark cloak, and wrapped the sling around his arm, taking a sight on the target.

OOC: I've got to go. Talk to you later.

Coo.
OOC yea, I sort of have to go too, I just didn't want to leave you hanging

Lord Azazel muttered to himself as he looked around the room, sipping his drink.

Emperor Antonius stood and stretched, stifling a yawn.

"I believe that now would be a good time to adjourn to the second branch of the club in Doomingsland. I hear it's located in a volcano."

'Ooh's and 'Ah's filled the room. Antonius and Chancellor Rubellai, accompanied by several other individuals and bodyguards, boarded an elevator for the roof. Upon reaching their destination, they boarded a helicopter and set off for Doomingsland.

"I shall join you in Doomingsland shortly. Rather than fly, I shall be riding a sleigh, pulled by 100,000 white mice. Of course to motivate them, I shall have 100 starving cats lashed to the sleigh frame with the mice just far enough out of reach. The Cats will pull in a feeble attempt to get the mice, and the mice will pull to stay out of the cats reach. If this doesn't work, I will simply drown all of them in a vat of Anti-Freeze, and use my jetpack to fly to Doomingsland."

"I shall join you in Doomingsland shortly. Rather than fly, I shall be riding a sleigh, pulled by 100,000 white mice. Of course to motivate them, I shall have 100 starving cats lashed to the sleigh frame with the mice just far enough out of reach. The Cats will pull in a feeble attempt to get the mice, and the mice will pull to stay out of the cats reach. If this doesn't work, I will simply drown all of them in a vat of Anti-Freeze, and use my jetpack to fly to Doomingsland."

Emperor Antonius looked around at the other members, nodding his approval at the idea.

"Now why didn't we think of that, Dmitri?"

Trotzig walked towards his bodyguards and said in a loud voice, "This club is terrible. It is just a haven for communists and cowards, with a few exceptions. Let's get the hell out of here."

Generalissimo J.L. stood up, infuriated, and began shouting and cursing. "You bastard! Nobody insults this club!"

Meanwhile, in Emperor Helldawg's secret underground volcano lair (AKA, the Doomingsland branch of the club)

The emperor's suped up CH47 helicopter arrived on the island, touching down on a landing pad which retracted into the ground when the helo landed. The emperor was greeted by hundreds of his loyal minions and a few thousand Sovieten and Pinkoesian slaves (all female, of course). He strode out of the helo bay, followed by a platoon of VEPR-clad legionnaries, and into his evil control room, complete with a giant map of the world and henchmen randomly pushing buttons and turning knobs on randomly placed panels and computers. Upon his entering, they formed ranks and saluted. He motioned for them to be back to work, and that was that. He made sure they had cooler uniforms than the henchmen of more conventional super villians, and wore they black fatigues rather than yellow or orange jump suits.

He then headed out the door, off to his inner sanctum. Once inside, he was greeted by his beautiful female body guards, and plopped down in front of his massive desk, which had all sorts of panels and moniters and buttons for doing various evil things, while passing by the massive conference table. He then awaited the arrival of the other conspirators.

Generalissimo J.L. called up the Emperor. "Helldawg? I'm on my way."

Antonius's luxurious executive helicopter cruised over the water, approaching the volcanic mountain ahead. The chopper circled once, before touching down on the landing pad, which retracted into the volcano. The Emperor and his entourage of various guards, cocktail waiters, and beautiful women stepped out into the hanger.

Shah Khosru's helicopter touched down on the landing pad. He was clearly shaken up. "Hey, great to see you all. I just left for a banquet with my nobles and someone tried to poison me!"

He was greeted by a squad of legionnaries, and quickly led to the conference table. Upon entering the room, he would notice all manner of stolen objects decorating the inner sanctum, such as the Ark of the Covenant, the Mona Lisa, the Crown Jewels, various ancient artifacts. Behind a massive and impressive desk sat the emperor, who still had his bulky armor, but had removed the helmet. He stood to greet his old friend,

"Ah, Antonius, my friend, welcome to my secret underground volcano lair. If there is anything you need, my various servants would be happy to oblidge."

Suddenly, two pretty women appeared on either side of Antonius.

Shah Khosru's helicopter touched down on the landing pad. He was clearly shaken up. "Hey, great to see you all. I just left for a banquet with my nobles and someone tried to poison me!"
"Oh yeah? Commies no doubt. Bastards. I may have to go personaly hand out an ass kicking for messing with one of my friends." replyed the emperor, patting the rather large mace that sat at his hilt. He now sat around the table with the others.

A massive black helicopter, meticulously polished, clad in indestructible armor, and armed to the teeth, descended to the landing pad. J.L. stepped out, accompanied by several bodyguards.

J.L. was quickly led by a squad of legionnaries (rather sick of this job, by now) to the conference room.

J.L. walked into the conference room. "Hello, everyone." He snapped his fingers, and his bodyguards led three extremely voluptuous, pulchritudinous girls into the room. One girl sat on Shah Khosru's lap, another on Antonius's, the third on Helldawg's. They cradled the men in their arms and began lustily kissing them. J.L. snapped his fingers again, and the bodyguards returned with huge wooden crates filled with cigars and wine bottles.

"Baby, I would never let anyone hurt you," he said, and began frantically kissing her.

She then returned the favor, and went, "Oh! Take me with you..."

She then returned the favor, and went, "Oh! Take me with you..."

"I will, babe," he said.

"I will, babe," he said.

She then kissed him, deeply.

She then kissed him, deeply.

He fervidly and passionately returned the kiss ten-fold.

Helldawg looked at J.L.

His wife's gonna be pissed. Oh, well, not my problem. Wait a sec, didn't I glass some country that bombed his wedding? Bah, whatever.

He fervidly and passionately returned the kiss ten-fold.

She said, "Oh baby, you got a helicopter or something waiting?"

He fervidly and passionately returned the kiss ten-fold.

Eyeing the couple with disgust, Xavier remembered what he was doing here anyways, and tapped J.L on the shoulder.

"Oh, regarding that order of aircraft and missiles you wanted: Denied after noting that RB has economic sanctions against us. We would sell the stuff to you, but your own restrictions are barring us from doing business."

Helldawg looked at J.L.

His wife's gonna be pissed. Oh, well, not my problem. Wait a sec, didn't I glass some country that bombed his wedding? Bah, whatever.

OOC: The women are for Helldawg, Shah Khosru, and Antonius, not J.L. J.L. has no other women besides his wife.

Eyeing the couple with disgust, Xavier remembered what he was doing here anyways, and tapped J.L on the shoulder.

"Oh, regarding that order of aircraft and missiles you wanted: Denied after noting that RB has economic sanctions against us. We would sell the stuff to you, but your own restrictions are barring us from doing business."

J.L. shrugged. "Consider them lifted."

She said, "Oh baby, you got a helicopter or something waiting?"

Groaning loudly, nearly screaming, ready to explode, he whispered in her ear, "Yes, I do, baby."

"Oh yeah? Commies no doubt. Bastards. I may have to go personaly hand out an ass kicking for messing with one of my friends." replyed the emperor, patting the rather large mace that sat at his hilt. He now sat around the table with the others.

"Yup, damn commies, and I thought I got them all. Not a problem though, the comminists are all well... "dissapeared" and the other conspirators are about to be arrested."

J.L. shrugged. "Consider them lifted."

Xavier continued, "Oh, and when you receive our tech, you will be required to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Tyrandis doesn't want our tech to fall into the hands of a few goody-two-shoes who will use our weapons against us, after all..."

*With the crackling of electricity and a faint smell of ozone, a small blue circle forms on the floor. A figure materializes out of thin air and lifts a small communications device to his ear, nods once, and speaks apparantly himself*

"Yes Josef, the matter teleporter seems to work just fine."

"Gentlemen, sorry to keep you waiting. I just needed to do a final test run on my transporter. I can now appear at any place on this planet of my choosing at any time. LaMorai shall gladly sell you the use of such technology, for a price."

"Yup, damn commies, and I thought I got them all. Not a problem though, the comminists are all well... "dissapeared" and the other conspirators are about to be arrested."

J.L. smiled. "Glad to hear it!"

J.L. walked into the conference room. "Hello, everyone." He snapped his fingers, and his bodyguards led three extremely voluptuous, pulchritudinous girls into the room. One girl sat on Shah Khosru's lap, another on Antonius's, the third on Helldawg's. They cradled the men in their arms and began lustily kissing them. J.L. snapped his fingers again, and the bodyguards returned with huge wooden crates filled with cigars and wine bottles.

Bhalk quickly flipped J.L. the finger for his lack of receivance.

J.L. walked into the conference room. "Hello, everyone." He snapped his fingers, and his bodyguards led three extremely voluptuous, pulchritudinous girls into the room. One girl sat on Shah Khosru's lap, another on Antonius's, the third on Helldawg's. They cradled the men in their arms and began lustily kissing them. J.L. snapped his fingers again, and the bodyguards returned with huge wooden crates filled with cigars and wine bottles.

Shah Khosru was visibly pleased with the attractive woman on his lap. Within seconds, after lighting up a Montecristo cigar and drinking down a glass of wine he began to speak. "So, have you ever had the pleasure of Persian... well, you know. I assure you, its the best anyone can get."

The doors opened momentarily, and a medium yet well built man wearing a black and gold pinstripe suit strode in. He had a cane crowned with a golden cat in lunging position in one hand, and a gun in the other, with two fingers in his gun hand holding a small card.

"Looks like this is the right place... um. I hate to make a somewhat disturbing entrance and all, but would you happen to have another valet anywhere? I was fiddling around in my pockets trying to find this damn member's card when wouldn't ya know it? My gun went off in the poor sucker's face. Purely by accident I assure you! The second time wasn't BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT... he was already dead then.

"Anyway, pointless rambling aside, I really must apologize for my tardiness. I had to stop and laugh at a few homeless people with no legs on the way over. Would anybody happen to be able to fill me in on whatever particular events of note have occured recently?"

A huge Lizardman, wearing a large pinstriped suit of especially fine quality and huge gold chains around his neck walked in.

He was merely a representative of the People's Republic of MassPwnage. The Great Leader would come in his spare time, but these days he was too busy.

The Representative snapped his fingers and waited for a servant to come over, he wanted to torture someone, BADLY.

Emperor Helldawg had had enough fun for a few hours, and decided it was time to get down to buisiness.

"Gentlemen, please shut up, sit down, and direct your attention to the center of the table." he shouted. The room went dark, and the table folded over, revealing a model of the island. A collective "Oooohhh" went out. He then hit another button, and the volcano opened up, revealing a rocket. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Operation: Evilus Maximus. This rocket will deliver the laser into orbit, and burn our initials into the moon."

"Is it built? Or do we have to conquer, enslave, loot, and rape multiple smaller countries to fund it; rather then use our vast treasuries."

"Sooooo... I guess nobody cares about the Valet. Makes sense really. I'll just... uh... go dispose of him then."

You do that, we can just get another trustworthy Shooban to take his place. And any Shooban is trustworthy when you promise them human rights, food, or life.

You do that, we can just get another trustworthy Shooban to take his place. And any Shooban is trustworthy when you promise them human rights, food, or life.


"We find them more trustable when you keep their family in prison with the torture chamber only a few meters away. Speaking of that I need to call SAVAK to ensure the tortures of those traitors is going good. Ater the meeting I spose."

"The weapon part of it is under construction at a seperate facility. The rocket is already in place. You may have heard of some corporation poluting the rainforest with radioactive waste. That's us."

"We find them more trustable when you keep their family in prison with the torture chamber only a few meters away. Speaking of that I need to call SAVAK to ensure the tortures of those traitors is going good. Ater the meeting I spose."

J.L. laughed. "Yeah, that works for me, too."

"Is it built? Or do we have to conquer, enslave, loot, and rape multiple smaller countries to fund it; rather then use our vast treasuries."

"I hope we have to do that," J.L. said. "It sounds like fun. I like that kinda stuff."

"The weapon part of it is under construction at a seperate facility. The rocket is already in place. You may have heard of some corporation poluting the rainforest with radioactive waste. That's us."

"Most splendid, I love to see lefties get pissed"

"Most splendid, I love to see lefties get pissed"

"Me, too," J.L. said, with a big smile.

Groaning loudly, nearly screaming, ready to explode, he whispered in her ear, "Yes, I do, baby."

Kimiko went, "C'mon, let's go!"

"I hope we have to do that," J.L. said. "It sounds like fun. I like that kinda stuff."

"yes it is. In fact in an alternate universe right now Borman is beign controlled by communists, although Im alive right here nad now not to screw anythign up. But they are conquering nations such as France and Spain to free them from capitalist oppresors, although when I coem back to power they will becoem capitalists. Although I will still hold them as part of the empire. Another martini!"

Kimiko went, "C'mon, let's go!"

He grabbed her by the hand and led her out of the room. "Would you like to go to my mansion?" he asked.