NationStates Jolt Archive

((OOC: This thread is for members who registered here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=383159 to RP their various visits to the EDLAGC. Enjoy.))

Emperor Antonius and Chancellor Dmitri Rubellai stood in the lavishly furnished, oak panelled Alexei room throwing darts at a large map of the world.

"Chancellor, you can't hit a damned thing today! How are we going to find targets for our nuclear strikes if you can't stay on the board?"

"I've got an idea. Why don't we just nuke everything we don't hit?"

The room burst into a wild frenzy of maniacal laughter.

Sergei entered the bar. "Well well well, Emperor Antonius you old dog you." He said.

He approached the Emperor and the Chancellor. "Comrade, it's been long since I've seen you!" He looked at the dart board on the wall. "Darts? Why use darts when you can use guns!" He chuckled. "Any Antonious, we have much to talk about, how's the wife and kids? And I hope this isn't a real "Gentleman's Bar", the wife doesn't let me do anything." He smirked.

"So how are you old friend?" He said.

Sergei entered the bar. "Well well well, Emperor Antonius you old dog you." He said.

He approached the Emperor and the Chancellor. "Comrade, it's been long since I've seen you!" He looked at the dart board on the wall. "Darts? Why use darts when you can use guns!" He chuckled. "Any Antonious, we have much to talk about, how's the wife and kids? And I hope this isn't a real "Gentleman's Bar", the wife doesn't let me do anything." He smirked.

"So how are you old friend?" He said.

Emperor Antonius bowed.

"Don't worry. I've no intention of informing your wife of your antics. We can't all be married to ex-pole dancers, can we?"

He chuckled warmly.

"But come, sit! Have a cigar!"

Sergei shook his head. "No comrade, I quit smoking. Just give me some nice vodka." He looked at the dart board, walked towards it, got a dart, and threw it at the board. It landed in his own nation. "I guess I'm going to have nuke myself!"

The whole bar laughed. "I'm surprised that I was admitted. I'm the only President in the club. But I do plan to rule the Empire (my region) soon. Those damn Halladis and Shessarans are destroying it with their bickering."

He turned red with anger, but calmed down after a second or two. "Yes. Tell me, do you think there are different types of evil?" He chuckled.

Sergei shook his head. "No comrade, I quit smoking. Just give me some nice vodka." He looked at the dart board, walked towards it, got a dart, and threw it at the board. It landed in his own nation. "I guess I'm going to have nuke myself!"

The whole bar laughed. "I'm surprised that I was admitted. I'm the only President in the club. But I do plan to rule the Empire (my region) soon. Those damn Halladis and Shessarans are destroying it with their bickering."

He turned red with anger, but calmed down after a second or two. "Yes. Tell me, do you think there are different types of evil?" He chuckled.

"Well, I know there are different types of evil people. There are of course the psychopathic murderers, the exceptionally polite evil super-geniuses, the charming buccaneers and smugglers, the shoe-pounding communist premiers, and of course we mustn't forget the delusioned, self-serving royals."

Antonius sat down on one of the high backed leather chairs before the large fireplace, and rested his feet on the back of a Shooban slave boy. he raised a fat cigar to his lips and inhaled, allowing the sounds of the kidnapped Dutch jazz pianist to sooth him.

"You may have also noticed that we are in possession here of the world's smallest violin, played after Automagfreek ruthlessly crushes a nation."

Sergei sat down on a nice leather Lazy Boy. "Yes, I agree with you. But then there are those that try to be evil, but are just assholes you know? I really find those annoying."

He nodded. "Smallest violin eh? You should play make them play it every second of every day. I know I don't wanna be playing it." He chuckled.

He sighed, letting up his feet on a chair thing and looking at the bar. "So what do you think of this Operation Brimstone that Damien has implemented?"

Sergei sat down on a nice leather Lazy Boy. "Yes, I agree with you. But then there are those that try to be evil, but are just assholes you know? I really find those annoying."

He nodded. "Smallest violin eh? You should play make them play it every second of every day. I know I don't wanna be playing it." He chuckled.

He sighed, letting up his feet on a chair thing and looking at the bar. "So what do you think of this Operation Brimstone that Damien has implemented?"

"Oh, that reminds me."

Antonius snapped his fingers and a well dressed waiter brought a silver platter to his side, and lifted the lid to reveal a red telephone.

"Mikhail, get in touch with GINN and have them edit that comedian's bit on the half hour special that mocks Lord Damien's baldness. You never know what's going to set those crazies in AMF off."

Antonius hung up, and the waiter returned the phone. Antonius leaned back.

"Operation Brimstone. Hm, well it is their fault for messing with AMF. First rule of being evil: never be evil towards someone who can out-evil you."

Sergei chuckled. "Yup, their loss. I have an Armada engaging Dumpsterdam now."

He looked at the bar. "Hey! Where's my vodka!" He shouted, then he looked back at Antonious. "Yes, their fault. I wonder how Minister X of Samtonia looks like. I wonder how he can hide his face so well."

He sighed. "Yup."

Sergei chuckled. "Yup, their loss. I have an Armada engaging Dumpsterdam now."

He looked at the bar. "Hey! Where's my vodka!" He shouted, then he looked back at Antonious. "Yes, their fault. I wonder how Minister X of Samtonia looks like. I wonder how he can hide his face so well."

He sighed. "Yup."

An apologetic waiter appeared at Sergei's side with a bottle of black Death Vodka on a silver platter. He poured Sergei a glass.

"My apologies, sir."

Antonius drained his own glass and spoke casually.

"How's that going anyway? The war with Dumpsterdam that is. TIOR hasn't had any real wars since your insurrection into Generia."

Sergei sniffed the glass, he raised his brow. "Waiter! Just give me a glass of milk, I don't trust this..."

He cleared his throat. "Yes. We haven't had any wars in a few months until now. It's going okay, their Naval Defense Force should be destroyed now making invasions a bit easier."

He chuckled. "Emphasis on a bit. Alexander says that there is a minefield that the Armada will have to navigate, then there's the messy landing itself." He shrugged. "So it's going pretty good I guess."

He sighed. "So Antonious, have you seen the new guns that Rose Nationalized is putting out? What do you think? I think they're great, of course."

Draped in a heavy leather trenchcoat, wearing thick black gloves like the kind Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny wore, tall, scrupulously polished black leather boots, a slick, brand-new pair of shades, and a slouch hat, Generalissimo J.L. walked into the room, accompanied by Jamere Brown, RB's ambassador to Generia, along with fourteen body guards, each over seven feet tall, over four-hundred pounds, and bulging from head to toe with muscle.

"Ahhh, Antonius," he said softly, spreading his arms apart so his assistant could remove his coat. He pulled up a chair, sat down, removed his slouch hat, and settled it in his lap. "How are you, dear friend?" he asked, gently stroking his thin, meticulously-trimmed mustache.

"Ahhh, Dmitri and Sergei! Funny bumping into you here!"

"Antonius, may I have a stool or something to rest my feet on?" J.L. asked. "And, might I get something to drink, as well? I'm thirsty. If you have root beer, I will be eternally grateful."

...

"Antonius, may I have a stool or something to rest my feet on?" J.L. asked. "And, might I get something to drink, as well? I'm thirsty. If you have root beer, I will be eternally grateful."

Antonius stood at the entrance of his old friend.

"Ah, our favorite Generalissimo! Good to have you stop by. Of course, a stool."

Antonius snapped his fingers and a small Shooban rushed over and knelt before a high backed armchair.

"There you go. Waiter! Get this man a drink!"

A well dressed waiter was at J.L.'s side almost immediately with a bottle of IBC on a silver platter.

Antonius stood at the entrance of his old friend.

"Ah, our favorite Generalissimo! Good to have you stop by. Of course, a stool."

Antonius snapped his fingers and a small Shooban rushed over and knelt before a high backed armchair.

"There you go. Waiter! Get this man a drink!"

A well dressed waiter was at J.L.'s side almost immediately with a bottle of IBC on a silver platter.

(OOC: What's IBC? Is it root beer?)

J.L. relaxed as he lifted his legs and settled his feet on the back of the Shoobooshaaban boy. "Ah, how nice! Thanks, Antonius!"

Sergei chuckled. "You forgot I was hear J.L. And where's my glass of milk? And Antonious, you never answered my question."

Sergei chuckled. "You forgot I was hear J.L. And where's my glass of milk? And Antonious, you never answered my question."

(OOC: No I didn't. Check my second post on page 1.)

Just then, Emperor Helldawg entered the room.

"Hey, guys, I'd be here sooner, but I was too busy cracking up from getting onto that 'Axis of Evil' list. Funny stuff." he said to the others, most of whom he'd met before.

Just then, Emperor Helldawg entered the room.

"Hey, guys, I'd be here sooner, but I was too busy cracking up from getting onto that 'Axis of Evil' list. Funny stuff." he said to the others, most of whom he'd met before.

"Hello, Helldawg," J.L. said, warmly shaking his hand. "How are you, old friend?"

Sergei welcomed Helldawg. "Ah Helldawg! Comrade, how are you doing! It's been a long time, I haven't seen you since the hunting trip!"

Suddenly, a deep, bestial rumbling sound emanated from J.L.'s stomach. The others cocked their heads toward him and raised their eyebrows, eyeing him suspiciously. He grinned. "Er, sorry," he said. "I haven't eaten since this morning. Could I get something to eat, please?"

Lord Azazel entered right behind Emperor Helldawg. "I saw that list," he said. "Quite disappointed I am not mentioned, perhaps I have not massacred enough foreigners."

Lord Azazel entered right behind Emperor Helldawg. "I saw that list," he said. "Quite disappointed I am not mentioned, perhaps I have not massacred enough foreigners."

J.L. stretched out his arm to shake Lord Azazel's hand. "Hello, I am Generalissimo J.L. I don't believe we have met before."

President Holtz walks in.

"Hello, I'd like to apply for a membership."

"Yes, I'm doing well, except for that invasion fleet sitting on my doorstep, but I'll be rid of them soon enough. Yes, that hunting trip was quite interesting. I found it strange how at one point, we both passed out, and woke up in our offices. If you truley want on that list, grab a few hundred thousand dissedents, and drop an H-bomb on them, that worked well enough for me, or you can run over protesters with tanks, if that's your thing."

J.L. stretched out his arm to shake Lord Azazel's hand. "Hello, I am Generalissimo J.L. I don't believe we have met before."

"Greetings, I am Lord Azazel, ruler of Draconis Nightcrawlis," he announced, shaking hands. "A pleasure to meet you."

"Well, I believe we were supposed to plot an overly complex evil scheme, no?" said the emperor, taking a sip from his beer, and kicking a nearby Shooban slave, sending him flying 20 feet.

"Hello? Anyone? I'd like to become a member. My wife said I could as long as I don't use the gentleman's club section. I ask that you give her a report on my behavior so she can be assured." President Holtz asked.

Sergei yawned. "Ah yes, evil plots. Now you know, I'm a good guy at heart, I don't opress my people. But I swear to God the liberals in Parliament are cock-blocking me! They want to friken dictatorship and more private property! No, they are in a socialist democratic state."

He sighed. "I forgot to tell you, the liberals in my nations are the capitalists and nationalists. We have strage politics you know."

"Greetings, I am Lord Azazel, ruler of Draconis Nightcrawlis," he announced, shaking hands. "A pleasure to meet you."

J.L. shook Lord Azazel's hand firmly and vigorously. "The pleasure is mine, my Lord," he said. He turned to Antonius. "My friend, I would be most pleased if you permitted our dear friend Mr. Holtz to join this esteemed club. And, I repeat, may I get something to eat?"

"You should get rid of them," Lord Azazel suggested. "Get rid of Parliament altogether."

President Holtz walks in.

"Hello, I'd like to apply for a membership."

(OOC: I'm pretty sure you can join. Send GE a telegram and ask him.)

Sergei chuckled. "That's how the Revolution started. Yes this was 70 years ago, but I don't want to re-live history. Besides, the Roman Senate, which is the Governing body of the Empire, might give me full dictitorial powers so I can re-organize the Regional Government."

He sighed. "But it's temporary. I don't need 61 nations mad at me you know?" He chuckled again. "But don't think I won't like the power."

Generalissimo J.L. stifled a yawn. He settled back in his chair, relaxing, as a broad smile spread across his face. Suddenly, the Shoobooshaaban slave, drenched in sweat, on the brink of exhaustion, and barely alive, stumbled to the ground, groaning. His back was permanently bent, giving his body a sideways 'V' shape. He screamed in pain.
"Antonius, could you get me another foot stool?" J.L. said.

"Only a fool doesn't like power," Lord Azazel said with a grin. "Personally I think that there is nothing better then the power one wields over a nation of scared playthings."

The Coordinator, tired out from a day of ceaseless activity, sauntered into the club, taking in his surroundings,

"very nice Antonius, very nice, you've done a great job with the pla-- he tripped over a shoobooshaaban slave and turned angrily

"Why you blithering idiot," he punched the slave square in face face before sweeping his legs out from under him. The unfornuate servant landed in a crumpled heap on the ground

"Clean this up someone." he said absent mindedly as he walked around greeting those already in the club.

"Anyone up for a game of pool?"

Sergei chuckled. "When you live in a nation who's history includes two coup d' tats and a near third one because of harsh communist measures, then we can talk." He smirked. "But I'm sure that you're used to occasional revolt here and there hm?"

"All the time, but they are always so easy to snuff out," Lord Azazel grinned. "Even my own grandson has tried to overthrow me."

The Coordinator, tired out from a day of ceaseless activity, sauntered into the club, taking in his surroundings,

"very nice Antonius, very nice, you've done a great job with the pla-- he tripped over a shoobooshaaban slave and turned angrily

"Why you blithering idiot," he punched the slave square in face face before sweeping his legs out from under him. The unfornuate servant landed in a crumpled heap on the ground

"Clean this up someone." he said absent mindedly as he walked around greeting those already in the club.

"Anyone up for a game of pool?"

RB's ambassador to Generia, Jamere Brown, rose at once at the mention of his favorite pasttime. "A game of pool would be excellent," he said. "Alas, being the Champion of the RB Annual Pool Tournament seven years in a row, I don't expect to lose to you." He smiled.

"All the time, but they are always so easy to snuff out," Lord Azazel grinned. "Even my own grandson has tried to overthrow me."

Sergei chuckled. "Glad I don't have kids." He shrugged. "I don't think I would be a good dad, thank God my term ends in a few months."

"All the time, but they are always so easy to snuff out," Lord Azazel grinned. "Even my own grandson has tried to overthrow me."

"Ah, but that is why you should build 20-foot cement walls topped with 5-foot electric fences around your home, in addition to one hundred surface-to-air missile sites, one thousand tanks, thousands of bloodthirsty, trigger-happy troops, vicious man-eating tigers, and the like. My own place has all of the above and then some. No one has ever tried to stage a coup d'etat against me. They realize the futility of it," J.L. said.

RB's ambassador to Generia, Jamere Brown, rose at once at the mention of his favorite pasttime. "A game of pool would be excellent," he said. "Alas, being the Champion of the RB Annual Pool Tournament seven years in a row, I don't expect to lose to you." He smiled.

Achilles turned to see his challenger and was happily surprised that it was someone he knew, if vaugely.

"Well we share the same last name, so thats a start, but don't think that's going to make me go easy on you, champion or not." he chuckled lightly and then became more serious, " Would you like to break first?"

J.L. shouted at the kidnapped Dutch pianist, "Hey, do you know any Mozart?"

Achilles turned to see his challenger and was happily surprised that it was someone he knew, if vaugely.

"Well we share the same last name, so thats a start, but don't think that's going to make me go easy on you, champion or not." he chuckled lightly and then became more serious, " Would you like to break first?"

"Yes, that would be nice," Jamere said.

Achilles chimed in, "or just have an all-pervasive secret police force, and then another force watching them. The in-fighting is glorious. They're so worried about beating each other that no only do they work extremely effectively, but they never have any time to contemplate an overthrow."

"Ah, but that is why you should build 20-foot cement walls topped with 5-foot electric fences around your home, in addition to one hundred surface-to-air missile sites, one thousand tanks, thousands of bloodthirsty, trigger-happy troops, vicious man-eating tigers, and the like. My own place has all of the above and then some. No one has ever tried to stage a coup d'etat against me. They realize the futility of it," J.L. said.

Lord Azazel. "If they stopped it would spoil the fun I have," he said.

Sergei chuckled. "Glad I don't have kids." He shrugged. "I don't think I would be a good dad, thank God my term ends in a few months."

Lord Azazel nodded. "I have fathered more children then I could ever know," he said, smirking. "In turn they'll have grandchildren and so on, all the more fun I see in my future."

J.L. retrieved a handful of darts from Antonius. He motioned for a Shoobooshaaban slave to stand in front of the wall with his back to J.L. "Bend over, please." The Shoobooshaaban did as he was instructed without a word of complaint. J.L. squinted, held up the dart at an angle level with the Shoobooshaaban's rear, and threw. His aim was perfect; the dart pricked the slave's rear and caused him to howl in pain and leap over five feet into the air, clutching his bottom as he screeched, screamed, and hollered in an unfamiliar dialect. J.L. tossed his head back, laughing uproariously.

Achilles chimed in, "or just have an all-pervasive secret police force, and then another force watching them. The in-fighting is glorious. They're so worried about beating each other that no only do they work extremely effectively, but they never have any time to contemplate an overthrow."

J.L. laughed heartily at that. "Truer words have never been spoken," he said, giving Achilles a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"Antonius, might I have some fettuccine alfredo with shrimps, scallops, and crab meat? Also, if it is not to much trouble, I would like lobster tails, caeser salad with croutons, a tall, chilled glass of root beer, and a slice of French silk pie to accompany it."

"What surprised me," President Holtz began to speak, "Is that that fool Kahta didn't put me on his Axis of Evil list for killing Communists and attacking him. Oh, well, he is a moron."

"What surprised me," President Holtz began to speak, "Is that that fool Kahta didn't put me on his Axis of Evil list for killing Communists and attacking him. Oh, well, he is a moron."

"Indeed he is," J.L. chimed in, chuckling. He picked up a very long, extremely thin needle sharper than a scalpel and said, "Anyone want to play a game of 'Pin the Tail on the Shoobooshaaban?'"

"What surprised me," President Holtz began to speak, "Is that that fool Kahta didn't put me on his Axis of Evil list for killing Communists and attacking him. Oh, well, he is a moron."

"Then I suggest random nukings on various parts of that nation," Lord Azazel said.

"One question, why are we using the slaves as parts for a painful game. I say we use Communist leaders instead!" Holtz chuckled. "Communists are much, much worse than slaves."

Sergei stood up from his Lazy Boy. "So when are we going to plan overly complicated world domination plans that will be stopped by a sexy, yet old, British MI-6 agent?"

"One question, why are we using the slaves as parts for a painful game. I say we use Communist leaders instead!" Holtz chuckled. "Communists are much, much worse than slaves."

"That they are, John, that they are!" he agreed, laughing. He snapped his fingers. "Bring me a pinko."

Within minutes, his bodyguards returned, bringing with them four communists.

"Then I suggest random nukings on various parts of that nation," Lord Azazel said.
"True, but I am not that evil. I would rather perfer just to shoot King Macdonald in the head." He explained.

Sergei stood up from his Lazy Boy. "So when are we going to plan overly complicated world domination plans that will be stopped by a sexy, yet old, British MI-6 agent?"

J.L. shrugged. "Who knows? Now, where is that damned waiter? I'm getting hungry!"

"That they are, John, that they are!" he agreed, laughing. He snapped his fingers. "Bring me a pinko."

Within minutes, his bodyguards returned, bringing with them four communists.
"Excellent! I am going to enjoy this greatly, hehe." he laughed. He then took a dart and threw it at the pinko's crotch, causing him to double over in pain and cry. John and the others laughed so hard they almost wet themselves. "Now, to just be a little kind, just a little, take the Commie away, heal him, and bring a new one. We can use him again after he's had some healing time. You know, I guess I'm the least evil person in here!"

Sergei stood up from his Lazy Boy. "So when are we going to plan overly complicated world domination plans that will be stopped by a sexy, yet old, British MI-6 agent?"

"The flaw in that plan is that in real life MI6 agents tend to die," Lord Azazel smirked. "I'd much prefer a Bond film where Bond fails a mission and dies a slow painful death."

"Excellent! I am going to enjoy this greatly, hehe." he laughed. He then took a dart and threw it at the pinko's crotch, causing him to double over in pain and cry. John and the others laughed so hard they almost wet themselves. "Now, to just be a little kind, just a little, take the Commie away, heal him, and bring a new one. We can use him again after he's had some healing time. You know, I guess I'm the least evil person in here!"

J.L. howled with laughter, his face dark crimson, as tears streamed down his face in rivulets. He could barely breathe. He very nearly lost control of his bladder. "John..." he gasped, coughing. "Next time...next time warn me before you do something that funny!"
The bodyguards shoved the three other communists over to John. "Enjoy yourself, sir," they said in very deep, gruff voices.

Sergei stood up from his Lazy Boy. "So when are we going to plan overly complicated world domination plans that will be stopped by a sexy, yet old, British MI-6 agent?"
"Ah, those damn, crotchety British agents. They always foil my plans to nuke the polar ice caps to cause global flooding! We must get one for our William Tell performance that we will mess up purposely, if you know what I mean!" John roared.

"The flaw in that plan is that in real life MI6 agents tend to die," Lord Azazel smirked. "I'd much prefer a Bond film where Bond fails a mission and dies a slow painful death."

"I'd prefer a Bond film where the old coot dies of AIDS," J.L. said. "The way he messes around, I'm surprised he's not dead already!"

"I know! He's done about one or two girls a film, right? I think in one he did three, right? And he's still doing them, even though he's like, what, 60 or 65?

"I did bring this with, however for our purposely botched William Tell act." He pulled out a bow and an arrow."Get me a child rapist. I hate those people." He then got out an apple and polished it.

"I know! He's done about one or two girls a film, right? I think in one he did three, right? And he's still doing them, even though he's like, what, 60 or 65?

"Meh, something like that," J.L. said. "I personally find his films too lengthy, talkatize, plotless, sterile, slow, and boring. They are 99% dialogue, 1% in-action."

"I did bring this with, however for our purposely botched William Tell act." He pulled out a bow and an arrow."Get me a child rapist. I hate those people." He then got out an apple and polished it.

J.L. snapped his fingers. A moment later, his men brought in Michael Jackson.

Lord Azazel quietly laughed. "AIDS, an old project of mine," he said. "Of course people blame the monkey shaggers, but if it wasn't for me it wouldn't have been able to be passed onto humans."

Lord Azazel quietly laughed. "AIDS, an old project of mine," he said. "Of course people blame the monkey shaggers, but if it wasn't for me it wouldn't have been able to be pased onto humans."

J.L. waved his hand. "That's absurd," he said. "Surely you alone are not responsible?"

J.L. waved his hand. "That's absurd," he said. "Surely you alone are not responsible?"

"Well I had scientists of course," he smirked.

"Well I had scientists of course," he smirked.

"Ah, okay," J.L. said.

"You always need scientists for diseases," Lord Azazel said. "If you need help with biological warfare, I'm your man."

"Hello, Mr. Jackson, hehe." John snickered, putting an apple on Jackson's head.

"Please, I didn't touch anyone.....okay I did, but...I'm only 11!" Jackson pleaded in his girl voice.

"Please, shut up!" John yelled. He then shot an arrow right into Micheal Jackson's balls, causing him to double over in agony. John then shot an arrow right into his head, killing him.

"Someone who has so much plastic surgery it changes their skin color, and believes they are 11 when they are 40 needs to be put out of their misery, haha!" He laughed.

"Hello, Mr. Jackson, hehe." John snickered, putting an apple on Jackson's head.

"Please, I didn't touch anyone.....okay I did, but...I'm only 11!" Jackson pleaded in his girl voice.

"Please, shut up!" John yelled. He then shot an arrow right into Micheal Jackson's balls, causing him to double over in agony. John then shot an arrow right into his head, killing him.

"Someone who has so much plastic surgery it changes their skin color, and believes they are 11 when they are 40 needs to be put out of their misery, haha!" He laughed.

"You...you killed Michael Jackson," J.L. said, with tears in his eyes. "You're a true hero, John!"
He handed John a Medal of Valor, the highest honor that could be bestowed upon one by the RB government.

"You...you killed Michael Jackson," J.L. said, with tears in his eyes. "You're a true hero, John!"
He handed John a Medal of Valor, the highest honor that could be bestowed upon one by the RB government.
"It wasn't heroics," John said, "It was fun!" Nonetheless he took the Medal of Valor with gratitude. "Today, children can sleep alone in Neverland Ranch!"

Sergei yawned and sat down back on his chair. "I'm sure you're all having fun braggin about killing MJ and AIDS, but I'm bored."

"It wasn't heroics," John said, "It was fun!" Nonetheless he took the Medal of Valor with gratitude. "Today, children can sleep alone in Neverland Ranch!"

"Yes, now parents can sleep soundly without having to worry about their little boys," J.L. said, sounding vastly relieved.

"I have an idea!" John exclaimed, "Lets nuke a small, n00b nation!"

Sergei yawned and sat down back on his chair. "I'm sure you're all having fun braggin about killing MJ and AIDS, but I'm bored."

Generalissimo J.L. handed Sergei a cellphone. "Call a stripper," he suggested.

(OOC: But if you do, don't make it graphic. I don't want to infuriate the mods.)

"Or, if that'll bring us underfire, lets gas a bunch of liberal teenagers in a gas chamber!" John yelled with glee.

"I have an idea!" John exclaimed, "Lets nuke a small, n00b nation!"

"Great idea!" J.L. said. "Then, we can enslave their populace, pillage their resources, and, uh...yeah, that sort of thing!"

Generalissimo J.L. handed Sergei a cellphone. "Call a stripper," he suggested.

(OOC: But if you do, don't make it graphic. I don't want to infuriate the mods.)
"Sergei, please use her in private. Don't forget to kill her when you are done." John said.

"Great idea!" J.L. said. "Then, we can enslave their populace, pillage their resources, and, uh...yeah, that sort of thing!"
"Nah, let them grow a bit. Instead, lets put a bunch of liberal teenagers that no one, and I mean no one likes, in a gas chamber, and gas em!"

Generalissimo J.L. handed Sergei a cellphone. "Call a stripper," he suggested.

Sergei laughed uproariously. "That's funny man." The room became somber. "No seriously. My wife implanted a nanochip that will zap me if I get." He coughed once. "Too excited so to speak."

Sergei laughed uproariously. "That's funny man." The room became somber. "No seriously. My wife implanted a nanochip that will zap me if I get." He coughed once. "Too excited so to speak."

"Ah, well." J.L. pocketed the phone. "A game of chess, perhaps?"

"Ah, well." J.L. pocketed the phone. "A game of chess, perhaps?"
"Come on! Let's gas some liberal teens!" John exclaimed

"Come on! Let's gas some liberal teens!" John exclaimed

J.L. sighed. "Very well, if we must." He snapped his fingers. "You know what to do."

His men left, retrieved a cluster of left-leaning adolescents, and brought them to John.

J.L. sighed. "Very well, if we must." He snapped his fingers. "You know what to do."

His men left, retrieved a cluster of left-leaning adolescents, and brought them to John.
"Hello, children." John said.

"You are a hateful, warmongering, nature hater! You won't let us use drugs or have sex, you old geezer!" a female teen yelled at him.

"No wonder no one likes you guys." John said. He then had them thrown into the see-through chamber. "Do what ever you want!" he yelled in the intercom. Some of the teens eyes light up, and some started having sex with each other, so John turned on the censors for the screen. All of the nudity and sex was blocked out until the gas began seeping in. He then pushed a button that said, "Gas em'" Greenish gas began floating out of the gasser, and the teens began putting their clothes back on and screamed. The gas enveloped them, having them fall to the ground, covered in disgusting sores, burns, and other wounds. Some of them had their skulls eaten away, showing their brains, which were miniscule. "As they say, 'Youth is wasted on the young!' Hahahaha! Okay, burn their remains!" he chuckled. The floor opened to show flames, and the bodies fell in, causing them to turn into ashes.

The doors flew open as Shah Khosru of Parthia, preceded by two Immortals carrying XM-8s with grey coats trimmed with gold and wearing a German style spiked helmet. The Shah wore a coat of mink furs, under which he wore the coat of a field marshall. An Immortal motioned to a Shoobooshaaban slave and told him to take the Shah's coat, and treat it well. With the coat off, the gold trim and medals seemed to give a gleam of the sun off in the dark room. His belt was gold, with a buckle made from an emerald, and his sword was encrusted in gold and gems. The Shah stepped over to the conversation taking place between the Rosian and Generalissimo JL. He made a bow to both before speaking, "Greetings, how are you both?"

The doors flew open as Shah Khosru of Parthia, preceded by two Immortals carrying XM-8s with grey coats trimmed with gold and wearing a German style spiked helmet. The Shah wore a coat of mink furs, under which he wore the coat of a field marshall. An Immortal motioned to a Shoobooshaaban slave and told him to take the Shah's coat, and treat it well. With the coat off, the gold trim and medals seemed to give a gleam of the sun off in the dark room. His belt was gold, with a buckle made from an emerald, and his sword was encrusted in gold and gems. The Shah stepped over to the conversation taking place between the Rosian and Generalissimo JL. He made a bow to both before speaking, "Greetings, how are you both?"
"Hey, I'm here too. And we just gassed some liberal teens!" John exclaimed.

Sergei shrugged. "How are you Shah? I am personally okay, but horrifically bored." He looked at the guards who were carrying the XM-8s. He grinned. "You use those things? Rosian weapons are far more superior then those things." He chuckled. "But that's me."

Just then, the emperor woke up from his nap,

"Commies! Where!?! Oh, Shah, it's just you. Say, didn't you guys replace your XM8s with our M27?"

Just then, the emperor woke up from his nap,

"Commies! Where!?! Oh, Shah, it's just you. Say, didn't you guys replace your XM8s with our M27?"
"Hey. We just gassed a bunch of liberal teens, killed Michael Jackson, and threw a dart into a commie's crotch.

Sergei shrugged. "How are you Shah? I am personally okay, but horrifically bored." He looked at the guards who were carrying the XM-8s. He grinned. "You use those things? Rosian weapons are far more superior then those things." He chuckled. "But that's me."


The Shah responded slowly and carefully, "Yes, but these cost me less, and I'm replacing them with a better weapon." The Shah turned to Helldawg, "I'm in the process of replacing them, most have not even arrived in the distribution headquarters and production is just beginning." The Shah then sat down in a club chair as a Shooban slave brought him a Cohiba Lonsdale cigar and a glass of Remy Martin Louis XIII. He cut off the cigar's tip and then lit it with an even burn using his golden butane lighter. With a quick draw and then an exhale, smoke covered the Shooban's face while his eyes watered.

"Gassing is too boring," Lord Azazel remarked. "Something that spills plenty of blood is much more interesting."

The dark oak doors to the gentleman's club burst opening, showing a dark figure, a silhouette against the harsh light pouring into the dank club, the figure slowly stepped forward, wielding a dark and sinister sword, his armour was sharp and jagged, he looked the embodiment of evil.

The dark figure took a huge stride into the club, the footstep sending shockwaves of fear as the dark figure made it's most evil and horrific statement:

"Rawr."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v227/Kriegorgrad/Kriegor.jpg

After that, Kriegor let his evil composure died down and he took a seat with the rest of his kin, he reclined into a deep leather seat of brown hide, the old English kind of seat that you'd expect lord-esquire-something to sit in.

OOC: I know it's late, but can I join?

The views of Magius are not mine at all but it is sure as hell fun to be the bad guy sometimes.

IC: the high lord magius had previously thought Earth uncivilised and backwards, but is proud to have found sensible foward looking people here in this club and hereby applies to join.

We would provide some of the best wine ever imaginable, grown with severely genetically engineered (and safe, it's not like Magius would drink something dangerous) grapes. For authentic flavour, the grapes are squashed by convicted criminals as part of their slave labour. Dont worry, their feet are clean, or they get flogged.

We would also provide several small nine year old children to shine your shoes and kick occasionally. Again slaves taken from criminals and protestors at a young age, but found unstuitable for military life, due often to physical weakness such as athsma or mental difficiency. We could also rpivde some very well equipped trained and generally superior security.

OOC: only take the security if the place isnt going to be attacked and all violence between members isnt going to be allowed to happen, as they are extreme FT warriors. They will make effective door guards and staff, but if someone wants to attack the club and you dont ignore them, they would be godmoding. But like I said if you just want to have fun and play out plotting in maximal luxury, these are theguys as they wont ruin RPs of those natures.

"Hello all. How are we today?"CEO Franz Josepf greeted the members warmly.

IC: Kriegor Zan Varr turned his head to see the CEO.

"We're doing alright, I personally need to work on my evil RAWR a bit but other than that, things are good, thanks for asking."

Helldawg continued his conversation with the Shah,

"Ah, don't worry, I just happen to have some rilfes with me," he said, throwing open his long black robes, revealing his glistening black armor, and several M27 PDWs. He grabbed a few of the rifles, and tossed them to the Immortals. "Errr, I don't suppose you folks celebrate Christmas..."

Minister X suddenly spoke up, surprising the majority of those in the room who had never seen or heard him enter. Face obscured by a cloud ofsmoke, the mysterious leader of Samtonia continued to stroke his ever-present white cat as he spoke.

"Gentlemen, all these actions are wll and good, but I do suggest we move to the conference room and begin planning for something to draw attention to the fact that we're united and ready for mischief. A giant laser and ransom demands, threats to create man-made volcanic eruptions with a tectonic shifter, kidnapping foreign heads of state and replacing them with clones who answer to us- we must discuss andd consider the options.

I'll be there waiting. Oh, and kindly bring a glass of Chambleaux '89. I haven't had a good wine in a while. But come quickly. There's not just planning, there's also a little surprise I have for all of you gentlemen. I know you'll like it a great deal."

With that, the chair lowered into the floor and came back up a moment later, sans the man sitting in it. The smoke still ingered though, but was quickly sucked away as a bookcase lifted up, reveling a metal blast door that slowlyu lifted. A well-lit corridor led down under the building...

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

Helldawg continued his conversation with the Shah,

"Ah, don't worry, I just happen to have some rilfes with me," he said, throwing open his long black robes, revealing his glistening black armor, and several M27 PDWs. He grabbed a few of the rifles, and tossed them to the Immortals. "Errr, I don't suppose you folks celebrate Christmas..."

The Immortals bowed in respect to the Emperor and then unloaded the XM-8s before handing them to a servant to place away. They loaded up the M-27s and holstered them on their shoulders. The Shah spoke to Helldawg, "Not usually, since 75% of Parthia is Zoroastrian and only 1% is Christian."

Sergei chuckled to himself, as if he knew something that nobody else knew. "Helldawg." He said. "That reminds me, would you like to work on a joint project for a Spec Operations rifle. We both know that our rifles are equals, so let's use the best to make the best hm?"

He watched as Minister X ranted alot about planning and evil things. Then he watched as he disappeared. "How does he do that..." He said to himself. He looked back at Helldawg. "Well?"

Helldawg nodded to the Shah, then turned to Segei,

"Sounds like a good idea. Let's have your people call my people, and we'll work something out."

He then stood up, and headed into the conference room, switching back to his usual 'Dark Lord' manner.

Sergei went inside the Conference Room also.

OOC:TIoR, for development, do it via TG.

The doors flew open as Shah Khosru of Parthia, preceded by two Immortals carrying XM-8s with grey coats trimmed with gold and wearing a German style spiked helmet. The Shah wore a coat of mink furs, under which he wore the coat of a field marshall. An Immortal motioned to a Shoobooshaaban slave and told him to take the Shah's coat, and treat it well. With the coat off, the gold trim and medals seemed to give a gleam of the sun off in the dark room. His belt was gold, with a buckle made from an emerald, and his sword was encrusted in gold and gems. The Shah stepped over to the conversation taking place between the Rosian and Generalissimo JL. He made a bow to both before speaking, "Greetings, how are you both?"

J.L. stood up to shake the Shah's hand. "Hello, my friend," he said. "It is an honor seeing you again."

"Gassing is too boring," Lord Azazel remarked. "Something that spills plenty of blood is much more interesting."

J.L. laughed hard, nodding emphatically. "Agreed!" he said.

J.L. stood up to get a drink. He was not watching where he was going, and accidentally bumped into one of his bodyguards.

J.L. yawned.

((OOC: Finally back. I'm not going to address each and every little thing that transpired over the past 109 posts, so let's just assume I did.))

Seeing that a majority of the club's members had gathered and taken the time to enjoy the fineries of the lounge, Antonius stood and addressed the assembled.

"Well gentlemen, I believe that as we have had more than sufficient time to eat and drink our fill here, we should follow the advice of the Minister and adjourn to the conference room."

"Antonius, might I have some fettuccine alfredo, with shrimp, scallops, and crab meat? If you could provide us, and accompany it with lobster tails and butter to dip them in, a tall glass of ice-cold root beer, a caeser salad with croutons, and a big slice of French silk pie, I would be a very, very happy man," J.L. said.

"Ah, the Emperor of Generic Empire! I don't believe we have meet in person before. My name is John Holtz, President of Holy Paradise." John said to Emperor Antonius.

"Antonius, might I have some fettuccine alfredo, with shrimp, scallops, and crab meat? If you could provide us, and accompany it with lobster tails and butter to dip them in, a tall glass of ice-cold root beer, a caeser salad with croutons, and a big slice of French silk pie, I would be a very, very happy man," J.L. said.

"Ah, well, I am most certainly not the man to see about that, but he is."

A well dressed (but hard of hearing) waiter who had been standing beside Generallissimo J.L. for most of the evening snapped to attention as Antonius pointed at him.

Antonius bowed to President Holtz.

"A pleasure."

"Thank you, Antonius, very, very much!" J.L. said. By now, he was bug-eyed, panting, and nearly salivating from hunger. He licked his lips and grinned as he awaited the meal.

Achilles smirked evilly as he hung up his cell phone, "Guess what guys? I just nuked a nation out of existence." he laughed maniacally before pouring himself a stiff drink sitting down with a contented look on his face.

OOC:http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7772782#post7772782

Achilles smirked evilly as he hung up his cell phone, "Guess what guys? I just nuked a nation out of existence." he laughed maniacally before pouring himself a stiff drink sitting down with a contented look on his face.

OOC:http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7772782#post7772782

J.L. laughed as he raised his glass of root beer to toast Achilles. "A job well done, my friend," he said proudly.

"By the way, would any of you like videotapes or DVDs showing Mr. Carter's execution?" J.L. asked.

(OOC: http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=383703)

"This video," J.L. said softly, "will forever change your definition of evil, gentlemen. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if there's such a thing as too evil..."

Lord Emperor Arkkonis strides into the Club, brushing a silver bang of hair from his blood red eyes to survey the room. Accompanined by High Templar Xaax, who removes Arkkonis' lavish crimson cloak to reveal the elegant black robes beaneath. He also takes the tall black scepter from his holiness' right hands, being wary of the blood-stained blades resting at the top. Arkkonis speaks out, "Greetings, Gentlemen! I don't beleive any of us have met! I am Lord Emperor Arkkonis Zeal of the Xerisian Empire." Arkkonis walks further into the club, taking a seat in the nearest empty chair. "So, how has this day been treating you?"

Lord Emperor Arkkonis strides into the Club, brushing a silver bang of hair from his blood red eyes to survey the room. Accompanined by High Templar Xaax, who removes Arkkonis' lavish crimson cloak to reveal the elegant black robes beaneath. He also takes the tall black scepter from his holiness' right hands, being wary of the blood-stained blades resting at the top. Arkkonis speaks out, "Greetings, Gentlemen! I don't beleive any of us have met! I am Lord Emperor Arkkonis Zeal of the Xerisian Empire." Arkkonis walks further into the club, taking a seat in the nearest empty chair. "So, how has this day been treating you?"

J.L. stood up, bowed his head curtly, and extended his arm to shake the Lord Emperor's hand. "Generalissimo J.L. is my name, how do you do," he said.

Arkkonis grins, his inhumanly pale hand gripping J.L.'s, it's grip ice cold. He shakes it vigourosly, and releases. "Pleased to meet you, Generalissimo. So, what have I missed?"

Arkkonis grins, his inhumanly pale hand gripping J.L.'s, it's grip ice cold. He shakes it vigourosly, and releases. "Pleased to meet you, Generalissimo. So, what have I missed?"

J.L. pulled his hand back, shuddering. "Yeesh, your hand is freezing!" he exclaimed.

J.L. stood up to shake the Shah's hand. "Hello, my friend," he said. "It is an honor seeing you again."

"It is an honor to see yourself as well, my friend." The Shah said as he shook J.L.'s hand. "Please my friend, you look bored, allow me to get you something." An Immortal grabbed a Shoobooshaaban slave by the back of the neck and began to almost crush it as the Shah spoke to the hurting servant. "Pitiful worm, get the Generalissimo and myself some Remy Martin Louis XII and some Cohiba Diplomaticos. Make it fast, your life depends on it." Within a minute, the slave had two cigars, two glasses of cogniac, two lighters, and two cutters. With a quick snap, the head of the Shah's cigar was off and with a quick flip of a switch, the lighter glowed in a dark blue flame as the Shah puffed the cigar until well lit. The servant then held the remaining glass, cigar, and utensils to JL.

"It is an honor to see yourself as well, my friend." The Shah said as he shook J.L.'s hand. "Please my friend, you look bored, allow me to get you something." An Immortal grabbed a Shoobooshaaban slave by the back of the neck and began to almost crush it as the Shah spoke to the hurting servant. "Pitiful worm, get the Generalissimo and myself some Remy Martin Louis XII and some Cohiba Diplomaticos. Make it fast, your life depends on it." Within a minute, the slave had two cigars, two glasses of cogniac, two lighters, and two cutters. With a quick snap, the head of the Shah's cigar was off and with a quick flip of a switch, the lighter glowed in a dark blue flame as the Shah puffed the cigar until well lit. The servant then held the remaining glass, cigar, and utensils to JL.

"Thanks," J.L. said, "but I don't smoke. Sorry."

"Thanks," J.L. said, "but I don't smoke. Sorry."

The Shah nodded, "That is fine. Though you do like fine brandy, yes? If not, I'll send for some other drink."

The Shah looked at his cigar and noticed the ash was getting to thje point where it needed to be lessened. The Shah looked at the Shooban and spoke, "Pitiful worm, open your mouth and close your eyes so i can throw in some food." The half-starving slave was in no position to resist and did as he was told before the Shah held the cigar tip over his open gullet and gently tapped it, sending the burning ash into the slave's throat. The burning ashes lodged in the throat and within seconds of writhing on the ground, the slave was dead. The Shah let out a hefty laugh and held his cogniac glass up to JL, "A toast to Roach-Busters and Parthia, may their glory never end"

Minister X looked at the members who had made their way down to the conference room.

"Gentlemen, nice to see you. Just a moment please, our other members are dallying."

With a tap on the control pad on the arm of his chair, Minister X suddenly set the entire upper floor moving. With short starts and groans of metal, the entire study lowered, all furniture locking in place, before turning and dumping the various people from above within the cavernous meeting hall.

"Ah. So good of you to join us," opined Minister X, as the study raised itself back up. "Hope I didn't cause anything to spill. Guards, leave us for the time being. You know, man the guard posts, etc..."

With an imperious wave of his hand, X sent the guards away, the Samtonians taking the dead body of a slave with them. Minister X shook his head. "Shah, why would you break our host's slaves? Would I go into your house and smash your china? Really, decorum is needed. But anyways. Gentlemen, if you could please take your seats. We have much to discuss."

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

Emperor Antonius stood up and rubbed his head. Besides the dizziness, he was grateful that he had been transported into the conference room, as he had not been quite sure of where it was. He stumbled to his seat at the head of the table and sat down.

"Yes, yes. Shah Khosru, do be careful with the murder and such. I'd hate to see a guest trip over a corpse. Well now, gentlemen, down to business."

Emperor Helldawg now wore scary looking black armor, and a large black helmet with two slits for the eyes, which were glowing red.

http://www.patriotresource.com/lotr/pics/characters/sauron.jpg

"My friends, we have much to discuss," came his now warped sounding voice from beneath his helmet, "as prior discussed, we must concoct a plan so evil, so sinister, that the world will quake at the mention of its very name." he said, plumes of smoke now coming from in between crack in his armor.

Sergei yawned. "Why don't we concoct a computer virus that attaches itself to all forms of pornography? Or why don't we show of a picture of a naked Michael Jackson? Or a virus that contains Michael Jackson naked doing strange things that pops up everywhere?"

The Shah nodded, "That is fine. Though you do like fine brandy, yes? If not, I'll send for some other drink."

The Shah looked at his cigar and noticed the ash was getting to thje point where it needed to be lessened. The Shah looked at the Shooban and spoke, "Pitiful worm, open your mouth and close your eyes so i can throw in some food." The half-starving slave was in no position to resist and did as he was told before the Shah held the cigar tip over his open gullet and gently tapped it, sending the burning ash into the slave's throat. The burning ashes lodged in the throat and within seconds of writhing on the ground, the slave was dead. The Shah let out a hefty laugh and held his cogniac glass up to JL, "A toast to Roach-Busters and Parthia, may their glory never end"

"Amen to that," J.L. said, toasting the Shah.

Sergei yawned. "Why don't we concoct a computer virus that attaches itself to all forms of pornography? Or why don't we show of a picture of a naked Michael Jackson? Or a virus that contains Michael Jackson naked doing strange things that pops up everywhere?"

"Ugh," J.L. said, and vomited in Sergei's lap.

Sergei yawned. "Why don't we concoct a computer virus that attaches itself to all forms of pornography? Or why don't we show of a picture of a naked Michael Jackson? Or a virus that contains Michael Jackson naked doing strange things that pops up everywhere?"

"A good idea, but not quite evil enough. Bad, yes. Twisted, yes, but only quasi-evil. No, we must delve deeper, and concoct a far more complex plot. Something truly worthy of the most diabolical evil geniuses assembled here. Gentlemen, I believe I have such a plan."

Antonius stood and began to pace.

"We remain an unknown force in the world as of yet, and therefore we must devise a way to inform the world of our existence. Dmitri, if you would."

The lights dimmed and a screen came to life. Complex diagrams, blueprints, maps and all other degree of evil-plot-explaining material were displayed in full glory.

"I give you 'the laser.' A device capable of projecting its heated beam over distances never dreamed of. Powered by the force of thousands of Portuguese children running on oversized hamster wheels, the laser is capable of generating enough power to sustain a fixed beam for eleven hours. Dmitri."

The screen changed to reveal a photograph of the moon.

"And here, I give you the moon. That useless, boring rock that hovers over our planet, casting its foul, unenlightened shadow upon us. i believe it is high time we gave it a facelift. With the patented child-hamster-wheel-powered laser, we shall carve the initials of the Evil dictator's Lounge and Gentleman's Club into the surface of the moon, so that they can be viewed by all. Then, when the world sees what we are capable of, we can begin our reign of terror."

*Pause for evil laughter*

Sergei looked at J.L. "Well I hope you're cleaning up."

Sergei pressed a button, revealing a large satellite floating in space. "Or you can use my satellite that also uses laser beams, but it's more of an attack weapon, to replace our old stockpile of nuclear weapons."

The Shah gulped sipped the Remy Martin before nodding to Minister X and Antonius, "I am sorry for the mess, but it was good entertainment, yes? I'll have another one brought in right away, since china is irreplaceable, unlike Shoobooshaabans." Two Shooban slaves picked up the corpse of the other slave and hustled it out the door while another slave was led in chains to take the dead man's place.

The Shah nodded, "That is fine. Though you do like fine brandy, yes? If not, I'll send for some other drink."

The Shah looked at his cigar and noticed the ash was getting to thje point where it needed to be lessened. The Shah looked at the Shooban and spoke, "Pitiful worm, open your mouth and close your eyes so i can throw in some food." The half-starving slave was in no position to resist and did as he was told before the Shah held the cigar tip over his open gullet and gently tapped it, sending the burning ash into the slave's throat. The burning ashes lodged in the throat and within seconds of writhing on the ground, the slave was dead. The Shah let out a hefty laugh and held his cogniac glass up to JL, "A toast to Roach-Busters and Parthia, may their glory never end"

"Hey, that looks fun," J.L. said, watching as the Shah laid waste to the slave. "Hey, Antonius, could you bring me someone to kill?"

The Shah nodded in agreement, "Does this place have a shooting range? Because I have enough USAS-12s for everyone to skeet shoot some liberal kids."

The Shah nodded in agreement, "Does this place have a shooting range? Because I have enough USAS-12s for everyone to skeet shoot some liberal kids."

J.L. clapped the Shah on the back. "Now that's my kind of entertainment!"

"Hey, that looks fun," J.L. said, watching as the Shah laid waste to the slave. "Hey, Antonius, could you bring me someone to kill?"

"Communist babies are aisle two in 'The Evil dictator's Convenience Store'."

As the men talked about their sinister plot the lights dimmed as red smoke exploded near the bookcases. Almost all guards, except Borman guards, hastily readied their weapons.

As the smoke cleared the lights came back to life to reveal Emperor Bhalk. Behind him a bookcase had swung in to reveal a room in the back, the corner of a bed barely visible.

He wore the robes that rich people are commonly seen wearing while reading a book by the fire and taking off their glasses to talk to the audience about a product. Under his arm was a VERY attractive naked woman.

“I love it Antonius, I presume this seat right next to you is mine.”

Bhalk took a seat after greeting the other guests and threw a blanket over his legs and the woman crawled underneath it.

“Now, about the writing and power source. I imagine it will take a good running to power it up and so the power up should only occur once or twice per writing. Btu that leaves my thinking...ugh, not so hard, if we kept it going and we wrote in print our letters would be connected and not appear as good. So we should write in cursive, but everyone knows that writing in cursive is not as manly, persuasive, assertive or evil as print. So I propose we use several batches of Portuguese people so we will have to start it up after every letter but the ‘workers’, I will cal them, will not be as tired.”

"Hello, Bhalk," Generalissimo J.L. said, reaching out to shake his hand. "Nice seeing you again."

Emperor Robinson Antares Scorpius of the Empire of Risban entered the Evil Dictator's Lounge and Gentleman's Club, flanked by two High Imperial Guards. While most classified him as a benevolent dictator, there were some 'evil' actions that he had performed, namely the public execution of an entire rebel faction of 3,000.
Scorpius waved his men off and made his way into the club, glancing around. He noticed several famous faces. Of course, in a place like this, one should expect such a thing.
The Risbanian Emperor took a seat, ordering a whiskey from a waitress that walked by. Whilst awaiting his drink, Scorpius leaned back in his seat, gazing around the room and picking up on the conversations going on. This was the Emperor's first time to sit back and relax since he took power from the former emperor, Julius Graffia. He had dealt with building up his nation's economy, foreign affairs, and military. Most recently, the heads of his High Guard and Military, Colonel Antonin Steele and General Charles Lucas, had kidnapped (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=380281&page=1) him. Thankfully, he was rescued. Both Lucas and Steele were awaiting execution.
Now, Rob sat in this club, sipping a glass of whiskey that was just brought to him and trying to enjoy himself.

Sergei sighed. "Or you can use my satellite."

"A good idea, but not quite evil enough. Bad, yes. Twisted, yes, but only quasi-evil. No, we must delve deeper, and concoct a far more complex plot. Something truly worthy of the most diabolical evil geniuses assembled here. Gentlemen, I believe I have such a plan."

Antonius stood and began to pace.

"We remain an unknown force in the world as of yet, and therefore we must devise a way to inform the world of our existence. Dmitri, if you would."

The lights dimmed and a screen came to life. Complex diagrams, blueprints, maps and all other degree of evil-plot-explaining material were displayed in full glory.

"I give you 'the laser.' A device capable of projecting its heated beam over distances never dreamed of. Powered by the force of thousands of Portuguese children running on oversized hamster wheels, the laser is capable of generating enough power to sustain a fixed beam for eleven hours. Dmitri."

The screen changed to reveal a photograph of the moon.

"And here, I give you the moon. That useless, boring rock that hovers over our planet, casting its foul, unenlightened shadow upon us. i believe it is high time we gave it a facelift. With the patented child-hamster-wheel-powered laser, we shall carve the initials of the Evil dictator's Lounge and Gentleman's Club into the surface of the moon, so that they can be viewed by all. Then, when the world sees what we are capable of, we can begin our reign of terror."

*Pause for evil laughter*

((OOC: in case you missed the evil plot.))

Sergei sighed. "Or you can use my satellite."

"But your satellite is already being hijacked to broadcast advertisements for the Generian automobile manufacturers- I mean, no."

"With the patented child-hamster-wheel-powered laser, we shall carve the initials of the Evil dictator's Lounge and Gentleman's Club into the surface of the moon, so that they can be viewed by all. Then, when the world sees what we are capable of, we can begin our reign of terror."

*Pause for evil laughter*

"Sounds excellent," J.L. said, rubbing his hands together and doing his best evil cackle.

"But your satellite is already being hijacked to broadcast advertisements for the Generian automobile manufacturers- I mean, no."

Sergei groaned. "Why don't we blow up the moon, then use my laser to destroy important countries? It's cheap and evil... ish." He looked at J.L. "Or we can go for your expensiver plan."

"I'm bored, let's go kill some commies," J.L. whined, pretending to sound like a little kid.

The Shah sat in his chair with his introspective look upon his face. "Perhaps we could do something better... I have much toxic waste i need to get rid of, and I believe we can do that in the Harp seal preservation areas."

The Shah sat in his chair with his introspective look upon his face. "Perhaps we could do something better... I have much toxic waste i need to get rid of, and I believe we can do that in the Harp seal preservation areas."

"Why not dump it in commies' drinking water?" J.L. asked.

"Why not dump it in commies' drinking water?" J.L. asked.

"Lefties like animals more than people, you know how their brains "work" my friend." Said Shah Khosru.

"No seals are cute...I mean...why not dump it on the commies?"

The Shah sat in his chair with his introspective look upon his face. "Perhaps we could do something better... I have much toxic waste i need to get rid of, and I believe we can do that in the Harp seal preservation areas."

Sergei shook his head. "That's not being evil that's being mean." He looked at J.L. "You seem forgetting I'm here."

"Lefties like animals more than people, you know how their brains "work" my friend." Said Shah Khosru.

"Aha, I understand," J.L. said. "Then why not dump it over the rainforest? They love plants even more than animals."

Sergei shook his head. "That's not being evil that's being mean." He looked at J.L. "You seem forgetting I'm here."

"How could I forget? I puked on you a minute ago, after all," J.L. said, laughing hysterically.

"Lefties like animals more than people, you know how their brains "work" my friend." Said Shah Khosru.

(OOC: Lol, I like how you put the word work in quotation marks. :p)

(OOC: Lol, I like how you put the word work in quotation marks. :p)

OOC: Thanks, I take it you got the joke. :D

OOC: Thanks, I take it you got the joke. :D

(OOC: Yep. :D)

"Aha, I understand," J.L. said. "Then why not dump it over the rainforest? They love plants even more than animals."

The Shah nearly shot out of his chair, "Brilliant! Truly Brilliant!"

The Shah nearly shot out of his chair, "Brilliant! Truly Brilliant!"

"Thanks," J.L. said. "And not only will plants die, but animals, as well! The lefties'll go apeshit!"

"So, when are we going to go do something evil?" J.L. asked casually.

"well we are trying to get our initials in the moon."

"well we are trying to get our initials in the moon."

"That's all well and good, but our sole aim should be pissing off lefties," J.L. said.

"That's all well and good, but our sole aim should be pissing off lefties," J.L. said.

"And I'm sure the Shah agrees with me," J.L. said, turning to the Shah.

"That's all well and good, but our sole aim should be pissing off lefties," J.L. said.

"Lefties like the moon."

"Lefties like the moon."

"Not as much as drugs, plants, animals, or economic slavery," J.L. replied.

Cyrus stepped into the room, followed by a dangerous looking Cougar. The Cougar had many scars all over it's body, some of which apeared to be gunshot wounds. Cyrus scratched it's head and it let out a soft, short lived purr.
"Hello gentlemen, dictator's, I am Cyrus, the leader of Nation of Fortune."

Cyrus stepped into the room, followed by a dangerous looking Cougar. The Cougar had many scars all over it's body, some of which apeared to be gunshot wounds. Cyrus scratched it's head and it let out a soft, short lived purr.
"Hello gentlemen, dictator's, I am Cyrus, the leader of Nation of Fortune."

"Hello, Cyrus." J.L. stood to shake his hand.

"Hello, Cyrus." J.L. stood to shake his hand.
Cyrus walked over to shake his hand. "Hello, and what might your name be?"
The cougar stayed close on Cyrus's heels

Cyrus walked over to shake his hand. "Hello, and what might your name be?"
The cougar stayed close on Cyrus's heels

"Generalissimo J.L. is my name," J.L. said, shaking Cyrus's hand. He reached out to pet the cougar. "Er...he doesn't bite, does he?"

"Generalissimo J.L. is my name," J.L. said, shaking Cyrus's hand. He reached out to pet the cougar. "Er...he doesn't bite, does he?"
"She would only attack if you tried to hurt her or me, so go ahead. OH! her name is Trilly by the way"

"Hey, girl," J.L. said, scratching her head. He pointed at one of the Shoobooshaaban slaves. "Look! That person is planning to kill your master!"

Antonius stood and offered a short bow to Cyrus.

"Welcome. Please take a seat. I'll have one of the guards bring you a drink and a cigar."

Antonius stood and offered a short bow to Cyrus.

"Welcome. Please take a seat. I'll have one of the guards bring you a drink and a cigar."

"Antonius, could I have a commie to kill?" J.L. asked.

(OOC: Sorry, I have to go. I might not be able to come online until Saturday or Sunday. So if you don't see you until then, to all a Merry Christmas!)

"Hey, girl," J.L. said, scratching her head. He pointed at one of the Shoobooshaaban slaves. "Look! That person is planning to kill your master!"
Trilly looked over at the cowering slave and decided that no threat was immediatly present.
Cyrus said "Go for it girl" and she took off and pounced on the scared slave, tearing out his jugular.

Antonius stood and offered a short bow to Cyrus.

"Welcome. Please take a seat. I'll have one of the guards bring you a drink and a cigar."

"Thank you kind Sir." Cyrus walked over to an empty seat, just as Trilly finished with her slave. Trilly walked over and lied down on the ground next to him, licking the blood off of her fur

The Shah gave a polite bow. "Hello Cyrus, I am Shah Khosru III of Parthia. Are you a Persian by any chance?"

"Hey, girl," J.L. said, scratching her head. He pointed at one of the Shoobooshaaban slaves. "Look! That person is planning to kill your master!"

OOC: GOD DAMN THAT WAS HILARIOUS! I applaude you for a job well done.

"No no, I want to put my initials on the moon, but the rainforest idea has merit. Why not do both?"

"Becuase the rainforest thing is something we can do in our spare time. And people do it noadays. But who had their initials carved in hte moon? No one. WHo should? We should, thats why we msut do it.

Minister X nodded his head.

"Ah, yes, the Club's initials in the moon. I support this idea. It's quick, simple, and gives lasting impacts. But destroying the rainforests? Pardon me, but I'd love my people to have breathable air. Let's leave the rainforests well enough alone.

And Shah, cut out the leftist threats. Why some of my closest allies are liberal! True, the communists are a bit screwy and some of those women scare me- like Sergei's wife- but liberals and lefties are generally people who you should like. Or at least ignore their anger and force them to work on weapons programs. Because for some reason, most scientists are liberal.....hm....the world may never know why......but anyways, no more plans to exterminate every person left of center on the planet. Otherwise, this might happen to you...."

Saying this, Minister X punched another few buttons on his control pad, casuing a portion of the wall to swing around, showing a bound and gagged Saddam Hussein.

"Damn. Wrong button." Minister X hastily punched something else in, causing Saddam Hussein to disappear behind the wall once again and an unlucky Shooban standing near the door to fall through a trapdoor in the floor. As the men near the door looked down, screams of pain and lasers firing could clearly be heard before the trapdors swung up once again.

"They're mutant piranhaie. With lasers. And no, I won't hesitate to drop someone who might discriminate against club members simply because of their politics down to the pirhanae. Not a threat, merely an observation. Now, shall we get back to planning?"

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

OOC: Sorry I am late :p

IC:

A tall, lithe man shaped creature walked in the doors... managing to knock a nearby servant flying quite by accident knocking the poor womans cocktail glasses into the air and flying towards the Shah and the Doomingslandian. The man looked at the servant and montioned to one of his guards, two tall very pale faced women, with black hair and in full black leather gear. Their skin and features contrasted heavily against his shiny black skin, sheer black pupils and long brilliant white hair... not to mention those predatorial teeth. He was dressed in silken black robes, embroidered with ghostly patterns of battles, conquests and destroyed worlds. He looked quite in character with the club... evil to the core...

He signaled the two to wait in the Guard area... they proceeded to help the servant up and were on their way.

He brushed his hair to oneside and signaled to the by now completely scared announcer (who wouldn't be... some of the most evil people in the Universe here :P)...

The announcer made a good go of the name on the list, but it came out rather better than he was currently feeling;

'Lord Magnus Stra'coth, Shadowlord and Commander of the Shadows of Z'ha'dum'

In a rather lower tone of voice, Magnus hissed:

'Now, wheres the bar... I need a drink.'

The man pointed while hiding behind his little lecturn...

Magnus laughed his boistrous laugh and strolled over to fetch a drink.

OOC: You better be, *waves fist*, joking.

IC: "Hey Magnus, coem have a seat, get a Shooban to bring you a drink."

"Did you guys see that Axis of Evil list? Im not on it. SO as soon as I heard that I desecrated a vilage of Shoobans. I still didnt get on so I had some Busselvanian slaves make a massive statue of me and then killed them all. IM still nto one so I'm going to have to do some more evil, any advice?"

OOC: Nah... I just got Parth and Doom wet :D

IC:

'Thank you' Magnus said sitting down. He clicked his fingers in that really annoying way, bringing a servant over...

'Whiskey, please.' he said

The girl ran off to fetch the drink.

'Yes, I saw the list... amusing we had to correct the man creating it along with our friends in Guffingford... they have some very strange ideas about whats actually evil. You enslave or wipe out entire planets and they think you smell of roses...' Magnus sighed...

'I also heard they were planning to "Do something about" the races and nations on that list... how on earth can they... we make up most of the Universe's true military might... but they are welcome to try... We are always open for more slaves and target practice.' he continued...

The whiskey arrived and he took a sip from it, and smacked his lips...

'As for advice... how about kidnapping Kahta's leaders partner and torturing them to death on live television...' he said in a non-commital tone...

The Shah was a bit annoyed, "Bloody stupid waitress, you got whiskey on my pants! These cost 5000 dollars and cleaning them requires them to be dry cleaned!" The Shah removed his gilded Colt .45 from his holster and placed it on her head. The Shooban screamed, "Massa, massa, no hurt me, the other guy maded me spills drink on you." By the time she had finished, the trigger was pulled and the bullet was in her brain.

Helldawg turned as the glasses flew towards him, and drew his massive, 300 pound mace, and crushed them before they touched him. The liquid that had touched him had instantly evaporated on contact.

"Fools. Anyways, after all of this bickering, I've come up with the perfect plan," he said, holding out his hand. A beam of red light shot out into the middle of the table, forming an image of what appeared to be a weapons satelite. "Gentlemen, this plan is complicated and evil at the same time. Firstly, we must create several mega corporations, complete with their own private mercenary armies. These corporations will work together to produce this satelite, armed with a single high-powered chemical laser. One corporation will test the laser, the other will provide the rocket nessesary to launch it into orbit. Now, the reason for using corporations is simple: they can't trace them back to us. Of course, we would be in direct control of these companies from our secret volcano base in the middle of the Pacific, gaurded by our henchmen. There would be immense toxic waste from the corporation testing the weapon, and that waste can be dumped into the rainforest, thereby pissing everyone off. Finnaly, once testing is complete, we put the weapon into orbit, and use it to carve the initials into the moon, finnaly revealing who's responsible." he said, concluding his diabolical plan.

Cyrus decided it was time to take off his cloak. He wrapped the black cloak around the back of the chair, revealing two desert eagles in tactical holsters, and an MP5 on a sling. Cyrus sat down and listened to Helldawgs plan.
"My nations Military is up for sale, so we can be ready at a moments notice" Cyrus said, while stroking Trilly's head.

"Actually Helldawg, that's a good idea. We have multiple massive corporation in Borman, one of those can be used seieng as several are secretly under my control."

The President Raslin rested in the limo, headed toward the lounge. He was nervous more than anything. He wasn't that evil, his actions being so, though usually only in an attempt to make his nation prosperous. He, in the tradition of chellis, took Dog eat Dog to a whole new level. He wasn't sure if he would fit in.

He didn't even know how to introduce himself. He had forgotten his real name a long time ago, he went from agent 31, to the Council, to the President Raslin, a title, not a name. His favorite name was Jaime, so he decided he might as well call himself that. His last name might as well be Raslin.

The car pulled into the garage. Chellian special operations troops helped him out of the car, not that his being a virile 43 year old made help a nessecity, but it was honorary. He thanked the guard, and as he entered the room where the other club members were.

"...Hello all. I suppose we should get introductions done quickly. Im Jaime Etre Raslin, I apologize if my chellian accent makes my english hard to understand... Seeing as none of you have ever seen or met me before, I guess this is a bit...odd. Hope we can get any awkwardness out of the way, however..."

"Hello, Im emperor Bhalk of the Bormans. I believe our soldiers have been on the same side of a conflict. Can't quite remember which one."

"Hello, Im emperor Bhalk of the Bormans. I believe our soldiers have been on the same side of a conflict. Can't quite remember which one."

"I wouldn't be able to recall. I've only been the President Raslin for a few years now, though I was the council for about seven before this. Your name does sound familiar, however."

Jaime looked around the room a bit, realizing he had abruptly interrupted their conversation. "Err...Mind filling me in? I apologize for my intrusion."

Magnus turned round to stare at the Chellian... he grinned.

'I think we almost attacked you once or twice, you know Chellian. Jamie... wasn't it? Well, despite the fact you are not favoured amongst our allies we have no enemity towards you. Please sit down and get one of these charming young ladies to bring you a drink... of course you can always take one or a few to a back room to satisfy other more carnal needs...' he said staring at the Chellian with those large black lifeless eyes...

'We were discussing carving the clubs intials into the moon... being the Evilly inclined this is a master plan for vainglory... Helldawg over there'

Indicating the Doomingslandian with a cursory wave...

'Was suggusting something I believe. Do carry on...'

He clicked his fingers to the serving girls calling one over for the Chellian and made room for him on the lounger.

Magnus turned round to stare at the Chellian... he grinned.

'I think we almost attacked you once or twice, you know Chellian. Jamie... wasn't it? Well, despite the fact you are not favoured amongst our allies we have no enemity towards you. Please sit down and get one of these charming young ladies to bring you a drink... of course you can always take one or a few to a back room to satisfy other more carnal needs...' he said staring at the Chellian with those large black lifeless eyes...

'We were discussing carving the clubs intials into the moon... being the Evilly inclined this is a master plan for vainglory... Helldawg over there'

Indicating the Doomingslandian with a cursory wave...

'Was suggusting something I believe. Do carry on...'

He clicked his fingers to the serving girls calling one over for the Chellian and made room for him on the lounger.

Jaime looked at the man for a second, taking a few moments to comprehend what he was saying. "Ohh! No thank you, I'm celibate.

Anyways, initials on the moon...Sounds interesting. How would such a thing be possible?" Jaime said, as one of the girls came up to him. "Vodka please, whatever brand you suggest." Jaime said, waving for her to leave him.

"When are we going to dump the toxic waste on the rainforest and/or the seal preservation area?" J.L. asked. "I'm itching to piss off some lefties!"

OOC: I TG'd GE. He's fine with this.

IC:

General Craig kicked open the door to the lounge and strode in, looking important.

"Well hello, I see this is the Dictator's Lounge?"

OOC: I TG'd GE. He's fine with this.

IC:

General Craig kicked open the door to the lounge and strode in, looking important.

"Well hello, I see this is the Dictator's Lounge?"

J.L. stood briskly and held out his hand. "General," he said affably, "the name's J.L. A pleasure to meet you."

OOC: I TG'd GE. He's fine with this.

IC:

General Craig kicked open the door to the lounge and strode in, looking important.

"Well hello, I see this is the Dictator's Lounge?"

"Im sorry sir, you have stumbled in upon a meeting of the homosexual book club. Today, we are discussing the joy luck club. Would you like to join us?"

"Im sorry sir, you have stumbled in upon a meeting of the homosexual book club. Today, we are discussing the joy luck club. Would you like to join us?"

OOC: ROFL, Chellis.

J.L. stood briskly and held out his hand. "General," he said affably, "the name's J.L. A pleasure to meet you."

"I have heard great things about you sir, it is a great event to meet you as well. Generalissimo, correct?"

"Im sorry sir, you have stumbled in upon a meeting of the homosexual book club. Today, we are discussing the joy luck club. Would you like to join us?"

"I'm afraid the sign said 'Evil Dictator's Lounge and Gentlemen's Club'. I very highly doubt that gays would be in here. Now, if you'd step into my van outside, we have some very lovely firing squa- er, cookies there for you."

"I have heard great things about you sir, it is a great event to meet you as well. Generalissimo, correct?"

J.L. nodded. "Yes, sir, that is correct."

"Im sorry sir, you have stumbled in upon a meeting of the homosexual book club. Today, we are discussing the joy luck club. Would you like to join us?"

Generalissimo J.L. pointed a Desert Eagle Handgun directly at his (your guy's) jugular. "Shut up," he said contemptuously, and spat.

Generalissimo J.L. pointed a Desert Eagle Handgun directly at his (your guy's) jugular. "Shut up," he said contemptuously, and spat.

"I dont fear any man who needs to threaten me with his penis compensation" Jaime said, taking out his Beretta 93R slowly. "Besides, you wouldn't want your nation to burn under chellian warplanes, so I suggest you sit down and shut up." He continued, flipping off the generalissimo, and putting his gun away.

"I dont fear any man who needs to threaten me with his penis compensation" Jaime said, taking out his Beretta 93R slowly. "Besides, you wouldn't want your nation to burn under chellian warplanes, so I suggest you sit down and shut up." He continued, flipping off the generalissimo, and putting his gun away.

J.L. slowly turned around, bent over, and mooned Jaime.

(OOC: All my insults are 100% IC, just so you know. :))

J.L. slowly turned around, bent over, and mooned Jaime.

(OOC: All my insults are 100% IC, just so you know. :))

"As I told the others just recently, I'm celibate. Thank you for the offer anyways, however."

"As I told the others just recently, I'm celibate. Thank you for the offer anyways, however."

J.L. glared at him in disgust. "Oh, I forgot, you prefer squirrels, rather than human beings," he said, "which is fine by me, seeing as that I not only prefer humans, but I prefer females, and am married anyway."

Magnus laughed heartily and slapped J.L. on the back...

'I am married too, but I must say... the married life is fun, when you have a partner who performs in all areas of domestic life extremely well... if Tanya wasn't quite so amazing i'm sure i'd take a few hundred concubines...'

He grinned...

'Don't take this lot seriously... we are all evil bastards here but we could do with conquering the universe... but if we did that we'd have nothing else to do...' he said in a jokey manner...

J.L. glared at him in disgust. "Oh, I forgot, you prefer squirrels, rather than human beings," he said, "which is fine by me, seeing as that I not only prefer humans, but I prefer females, and am married anyway."

"It seems you misread my dossier. That was only once, and besides, it was already dead. That was before I became celibate, anyways."

"God, that's worse than being gay. An animal-necrophiliac."

Having finished his drink and listening to the evil dictators for quite some time now, Scorpius decided to go introduce himself. He stood and walked from his booth towards the group, an indifferent look upon his face.
"Goodevening, gentlemen. Mind if I sit down and have a drink?"

"Yeah, sure. Does anyone have one of them little slave things? I want to throw darts at it."

"If you listened to the f*ckin' plan, you'd see that the God d*mned rainforest get's radioactive slag dropped on it from laser testing! OK, so who's with me on this plan?" he finished, in a somewhat annoyed tone, his eyes glowing a brilliant red through the eye slits on his evil-looking helmet.

"If you listened to the f*ckin' plan, you'd see that the God d*mned rainforest get's radioactive slag dropped on it from laser testing! OK, so who's with me on this plan?" he finished, in a somewhat annoyed tone, his eyes glowing a brilliant red through the eye slits on his evil-looking helmet.

"YEESH!" J.L. exclaimed, startled at Helldawg's attitude. "Who the f*** pissed in your coffee cup this morning!?"

General Craig slowly raised his hand.

As Bhalk put his hand in the air he looked at the new arrival.

"Did you say there was a sign? Well this place is protected but I still think its should be somewhat hidden. Can someone get one of those Shooban dogs to take the sign down?"

"Indeed, we only want select members not all the small tin-pot dictators around the universe arriving... besides if we have too many the bigger empires we have here will start eating the little empires because they have got on our nerves.' Magnus said

'Oh, I am prepared to support you.' but will you be a little more refined in your personal actions... if you don't mind...

He clicked over a servant girl... telling her to go hide the sign and inform the guard of the changes...

"Now without the sign we will be much safer from the forces of justice."

"You know what really pisses me off? People who think my country is communist. All my hard work convincing them that they are free, and still keeping control of the government down the toilet. Sure, I have to make some disappear for a while, but that's just natural. Damn demmies," said Craig, putting his feet up and casually smoking a cigar.

Magnus put his feat up on a smallish velvet foot stool... and laughed at the comment...

'Just put a nice Hammer and Sickle of your flag... it'll convince them more.' he said in sarcastic tone...

'We don't bother bothering what people think of us, but last I heard we were some kind of ancient evil or something... well thats what the Anti-Shadow league called us... but they are typically reactionary... we will get round to wiping out the incumbant planets sometime...' he said lazily...

Antonius had had quite enough of Jaime and J.L.'s catfight, and slammed his fist on the table, knocking over his glass of scotch.

"Blast! Now look what you made me do! But back to the matter at hand. Emperor Helldawg's plan is in my opinnion most ingenious and diabolical at the same time. I move that we undertake it immediately, right after we concoct an equally diabolical name for the plot."

Antonius leaned back and raised a fat cigar to his lips.

"Eh? I've always had a thing for Latin, so how about Operation Evilus Maximus?"

Magnus laughed at Antonius' misfortune and promptly flicked an ice cube at the man.

'Yes, Operation Evilus Maximus sounds good.' he said... and began to feel like a Single Malt... which he promptly recieved by staring at one of the slave girls... who seemed to take the hint...

Leaning back in his chair, Craig said, "Does anyone have a slave thingy? I want to shoot one of them..."

Helldawg reached over to a nearby slave without standing up, picked it up by the head with one arm, and tossed it over the Craig, not actualy saying anything.

"Thanks," said Craig, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a gold-plated Desert Eagle .50. "Turn around and bend over," he said to the slave. "Now put your head between your legs," the slave promptly did so, not knowing what was going on. "ARE YOU MOONING ME, YOU LITTLE BASTARD?" yelled Craig, pumping a slug into the slave's face, sending him flying through the air and doing a complete airborne sumersault before landing in front of Generalissimo J.L.

"Sorry about that, did he get in anything?"

"Operation Evilus Maximus, excellent."

Unfortunately, while lost in his ensuing maniacal laughter, Antonius was interrupted by a slave girl carrying a single malt running into his chair. More than a bit perturbed at the interruption, Antonius drew his saber and sliced her arm off. To add to his misfortune, however, the arm was precisely the one holding the single malt, and he became covered in blood and liquor.

"Blast!"

The slave girl was screaming in horror as she stared at the bleeding stump. This further annoyed Antonius, and he swung the saber again, lopping off her head.

"You! Bring me a change of clothes! It's impossible to get good help these days..."

Magnus did not look amused and promptly threw a shuriken throwing star into the slaves neck.

'Antonius do you mind not upsetting my drink regieme... it's not good for your health. Now you... girl... bring me another and get some of your friends to clean up these bodies they're beginning to smell. I suggust you give them to the two Nosferatu out in the Guard room. They'll clean them up no problem...' he said pointing at the gibbering group of slaves...

When one of the girls came over, he stopped her a second.

'Mind if I take this one home with me... of course I will pay for her but she seems too good to waste on this.' he asked.

The girl didn't understand but looked terrified...

'Mind if I take this one home with me... of course I will pay for her but she seems too good to waste on this.' he asked.

The girl didn't understand but looked terrified...

Antonius waved his hand with disinterest.

"Of course. Take her, but you may prefer a trip to my harem. The stock is far superior to...that."

Antonius waved his hand with disinterest.

"Of course. Take her, but you may prefer a trip to my harem. The stock is far superior to...that."

'You'd be suprised Antonius... the best are often right under your nose... besides she's not for me... she's for other purposes.' he said calmly...

He spoke to seemingly nobody and a Nosferatu came in and took the slave kicking and screaming back to the ship... they would almost certainly play with her until Magnus returned... besides she would serve an interesting purpose...

"What do you intend to do with her? If you're killing her, can you tape it and send it to me? Tuesday Night Live just got canceled and I haven't gotten around to threatening the producers..."

'No, not killing her. My wife will like her... a sexual and servant present if you will.' he said grinning at the obvious pleasure that statement brought.

'If you want death, I can always show you some footage from one or two of our facilities, or the occasional bombings of the C'tan homeworld if you like.' he continued...

"Is it funny?"

"If it's funny I'd like a copy," Lord Azazel requested. "In fact we can have a film night full of our evil doings."

Minister X sighed at the antics of the dictators clustered about halfway down the massive sequoya conference table.

"Again, gentlemen, the random killings. Are you no better then common street hoodlums? Surely you know it takes more to prove evil then simply killing the chattel of someone else who cannot defend themselves?

Surely we wish to engage in truely evil activities, not simply bad activities. Random killings aren't evil. They're moronic. Now something truely evil, after we carve our icon upon that alabaster sphere in the sky, would be to devise some way to hold the international community hostage for large sums of money.

If we were to bore a mole miner into the Earth's core with a nuclear device in it, we could ransom the Earth for trillions, with which to buy even more defenses, guards, and add-on rooms for the clubhouse. What say you, all truely evil people?"

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

"Actually random killings are what one does when bored," Lord Azazel replied. "Threatening to blow up the earth sounds good, just hope there are no tecnical flaws in any plans. I would hate for it to break down on us."

Minister X sighed at the antics of the dictators clustered about halfway down the massive sequoya conference table.

"Again, gentlemen, the random killings. Are you no better then common street hoodlums? Surely you know it takes more to prove evil then simply killing the chattel of someone else who cannot defend themselves?

Surely we wish to engage in truely evil activities, not simply bad activities. Random killings aren't evil. They're moronic. Now something truely evil, after we carve our icon upon that alabaster sphere in the sky, would be to devise some way to hold the international community hostage for large sums of money.

If we were to bore a mole miner into the Earth's core with a nuclear device in it, we could ransom the Earth for trillions, with which to buy even more defenses, guards, and add-on rooms for the clubhouse. What say you, all truely evil people?"

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

Antonius chortled most diabolically.

"A devious plot indeed. Once we have had our way with the moon, we must of course go through with it. After all, an evil organization does not truly exist until said organization has held the world for ransom."

*pause for more evil laughter*

Meanwhile, Kimiko Ayasugi, in a leather catsuit and a trenchcoat, sauntered into the club. After getting a slave to hang the coat up, she went to the bar and asked the bartender, "Evening, sir. One Cuba Libre."

The bartender agreed, and delivered the drink. The woman drank the Cuba Libre, and then thanked the bartender. She then began to look around for anybody interested in plotting something....

'We don't engage in random killing, we engage in beneficial extermination of inferior genetic specimens. It is quite organised and fair you know. The best get given the best... the worst are either killed or utlised to better the best.' Magnus said whilst grinning at the unnamed man.

'But wouldn't that be rather problematic sending a drill to the centre of the Earth with a nuclear device on board...' he said despite the fact the Shadows had already successfully tested such a bore capable nuclear missile for mass use in their Death cloud.

'Apart from that an excellent idea...' he continued.

((OOC: I'm thinking it would be a good idea to make a thread for the execution of our first devious plan (moon thing). since it was Doom who brought the thing togethor, I suppose he should have the honor.))

OOC: How should I introduce myself?

OOC: How should I introduce myself?

((OOC: Like this.))

"It seems another member has arrived."

Antonius pressed a button under the table, and the fireplace in the lounge opened to reveal a large vent. The vent began to suck air inwards rapidly, pulling the newcomer into it. After a quick trip down an airshaft, Kimiko Ayasugi was deposited on the floor of the conference room.

Kimiko pulled out a PPK. Then, she put it down, and went, "Holy crap! One thing I know, I'm drinkin' a Cuba Libre, and then, whammo! I'm here."

She then holstered it, walked up to Emperor Antonius and went, "So, you must be Emperor Antonius of the Generic Empire. I'm charmed to meet you."

She then went, "Got any yiffers to execute? Or Festivus fans?"

((OOC: I'm thinking it would be a good idea to make a thread for the execution of our first devious plan (moon thing). since it was Doom who brought the thing togethor, I suppose he should have the honor.))
OOC:I'll do it when I have time. I'll start with melting the rainforest to get the attention of everyone, then we can do the other stuff in the plan.

OOC:I'll do it when I have time. I'll start with melting the rainforest to get the attention of everyone, then we can do the other stuff in the plan.

((OOC: Excellent.))

Kimiko pulled out a PPK. Then, she put it down, and went, "Holy crap! One thing I know, I'm drinkin' a Cuba Libre, and then, whammo! I'm here."

She then holstered it, walked up to Emperor Antonius and went, "So, you must be Emperor Antonius of the Generic Empire. I'm charmed to meet you."

She then went, "Got any yiffers to execute? Or Festivus fans?"

Antonius, being a gentleman as well as pure evil, kissed her hand and pointed her in the direction of her seat at the far end of the table.

"I hear that slave over there is a Festivus fan."

Antonius, being a gentleman as well as pure evil, kissed her hand and pointed her in the direction of her seat at the far end of the table.

"I hear that slave over there is a Festivus fan."

She smiled, and said to the slave, "Come here, boy!"

The slave waked up to her.

She then began to shoot him repeadtedly, beginning in his foot, then moving up his body slowly with each shot and then finally topping it off with a shot between the eyes.

The slave fell over, and then she said, "F**kin' Festivus fans. You up for an anti-Festivus Jihad?"

She smiled, and said to the slave, "Come here, boy!"

The slave waked up to her.

She then began to shoot him repeadtedly, beginning in his foot, then moving up his body slowly with each shot and then finally topping it off with a shot between the eyes.

The slave fell over, and then she said, "F**kin' Festivus fans. You up for an anti-Festivus Jihad?"

"Perhaps in time..."

Antonius wiped a drop of blood off of his sleeve.

"Perhaps in time..."

Antonius wiped a drop of blood off of his sleeve.

Kimiko smiled. "Intriguing. So, you have anything against Pacitalia?"

Kimiko smiled. "Intriguing. So, you have anything against Pacitalia?"

"Should I?"

She grew smug and went, "F**ckers banned anime, I have them on my Jihad list. I was wondering if you at least know anybody with a grudge against them."