NationStates Jolt Archive

over on the "dream thread" we had a poster request that i do this.
this thread is for you brutally honest people to list all the bad things about you. it can include personality traits,things you have done to others and just general evilness. dont feel like you have to post it all at once. come back, visit often, and dont forget to leave a sin or twelve behind. my own posts on this thing will be numerous.
remember , be honest. once you decide to "confess", purge it all.
but don't make up anything either. i am really curious to see how far this goes, and how many gut - wrenching feelings it illicits.
*AND, IF BY CHANCE THERE IS SOME HEAVY POSTS ON HERE, LIKE THE REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, UN-PC TYPE, DON'T JUDGE ANYONE. AFTER ALL, WE ALL ARE GUILTY OF SOMETHING*

I am very sociopathic, I rarely care for the feelings of others unless I know that my actions may come back to bite me in the future. I don't really believe that I ignore thinking about other people, whereas other people just rarely cross my mind.

Wait a minute, does admitting one is narcissitic preempt one from being narcissitic?

I am very sociopathic, I rarely care for the feelings of others unless I know that my actions may come back to bite me in the future. I don't really believe that I ignore thinking about other people, whereas other people just rarely cross my mind.

Wait a minute, does admitting one is narcissitic preempt one from being narcissitic?
no it does not. i , also teeter on the brink of sheer mental illness. once i get into my own thoughts, i have to pull myself out,it gets dangerous, exploring the edges of ones mind.

Well, aside from the fact that if friends and family were badly hurt by someone, and I was in a position to do something about said person(s), bad things would happen to them, nothing much.

I'm incredibly impulsive, about....everything

Example: Shopping (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7935217&postcount=8)

I spend way to much time obsessing over what I look like. My hair, my make-up, my clothes, my body as whole.

I also obsess over how other things look, or how things go. I'm the worst party planner (or the best it depends on how you look at it) because everything has to be perfect or I'm not happy.

I'm overly nice at times, instead of telling someone "No" I'll say "Well maybe, I mean, if you really want me to I suppose I will" just so I don't hurt their feelings.

I hate deciding! Haha. I would rather someone make the choice for me, instead of asking me. I particularly hate it when I'm out with friends and they say "Where do YOU want to eat?" Instead of voting on it, or making suggestions.

Blah....

Well, aside from the fact that if friends and family were badly hurt by someone, and I was in a position to do something about said person(s), bad things would happen to them, nothing much.

That's the only bad characteristic you could come up with? And I thought I was narcissitic.

That's the only bad characteristic you could come up with? And I thought I was narcissitic.
Okay, I play too many computer games and read too much. I really don't have that nasty of a "dark side". Oh, and my room has to get pretty damned messy before I clean it :p .

I'm not going to list anything too specific, but Ill give you some tid-bits to work off of.
Problems I can identify within myself:

I can become quite depressive, and hard on myself.

I am a perfectionist - of the highest order.

I am borderline OCD.

I care, but I care too much - and to an extent that it becomes self-destructive.

I am wild, sometimes too much so - and I cause a lot of people around me to worry about my actions when I get carried away.

I have little to no control of that which is left of my emotions.

I have made some very distinct mistakes in my life that I will forever regret - and I continue to this very day to make mistakes like this. For the most part in being honest with people (and for that matter myself) about my well being, or about my true feelings for them. With this, I will include that I have - over the course of many years, and much worse so over the last three - been almost entirely emotionally remote. It has been a very long time since I have allowed anyone to really get close to me in this sense, not mattering if they might be friends, lovers, family or otherwise - this has cost me a great deal more than I'm willing to accept losing.

I've come to terms with, and accept that some tears are never dried away. That sometimes a broken heart just can't be mended. That most memories never die. That some words spoken can't be taken back. And that I am a just a man - capable of a great many mistakes as such.

But everyday marks the birth of a new sunrise, and a new day that offers another chance to do things right.

Im working it out.

We all are.

I have the uncanny ability to exploit what others find distasteful and use it to my advantage. That, plus being an eideteker, gives me great potential for evil.

Okay, I play too many computer games and read too much. I really don't have that nasty of a "dark side". Oh, and my room has to get pretty damned messy before I clean it :p .

Well, we are getting somewhere now. Not very introspective.

Okay, I play too many computer games and read too much. I really don't have that nasty of a "dark side". Oh, and my room has to get pretty damned messy before I clean it :p .we are not talking dark side only here. you have never called someone a horrible name, wished your mom dead, ANYTHING??? come on. you know you have done something.....

thank you, i think its a good idea.

i have a tendency to second guess myself, and doubt myself thus missing any opportunities i may have

i am compulsive late to anything and everything

i have absolutely no talents worth anything

i am insanely stubborn, and i hate admitting when im wrong

i absolutely hate any change of any sort

i have a low self-esteem.. like, really low.

i let people take advantage of me pretty easily

i have a problem "opening up" to people. i hate talking about myself on a personal level - save for this, of course. for some reason

i have absolutely no future, other then a penniless begging hobo

i have problems with anxiety, and i hate to do anything with more then 5ish people, especially when i dont know them

i am very forgetful - so forgetful, that i forgot a bunch of stuff i was gonna put on here, so i will continue later.

I have the uncanny ability to exploit what others find distasteful and use it to my advantage. That, plus being an eideteker, gives me great potential for evil.
we will take examples any time you are ready.......... ;)

we were on the beach in mexico for our senior trip, i told this perfectly cute girl....you know, you should lose 10 pounds. your boyfriend keeps telling me how skinny i am.
*much more to come

Well, we are getting somewhere now. Not very introspective.
Oh, and I'm a complete bastard at poker, especially when playing for money. I rarely win, probably often enough to break even over the course of several games, but I drive out quite a few people because I bluff at about 50% and like to make large pots.

Oh, and I'm a complete bastard at poker, especially when playing for money. I rarely win, probably often enough to break even over the course of several games, but I drive out quite a few people because I bluff at about 50% and like to make large pots.

And you were saying that you didn't have a dark side. :p

we will take examples any time you are ready.......... ;)

Well, just by watching a person for a few minutes and having a brief conversation, I can usually pick up on who they are and where their "buttons" lie and manipulate those buttons for personal or financial gain. I'm that sort of person that, no matter who I am talking to, they walk away from me thinking I could have been their best friend.

I used to use that ability to get laid. It worked .... well. I then realized I could use it to get people to buy me things. It worked even better. A nearly perfect visual memory has its advantages. It's amazing what people will do for you if you can exploit their weaknesses/fears in the guise of a concerned peer.

I have since grown up and have vowed only to use it to benefit others. That works best of all.

I am....
Knot-headed and stubborn to the extreme (to the point it is unsafe and stupid)
Indesicive
Often much to sarcastic
Way to Horny
Cocky, and way to sure of myself, except when I am depressed
I am depressed way to often
I self mutilate
I am a pain in the but for my GF and put her through way to much (no details)(i do love her)
I am to quick to spend my cash
Easily offended
And all around just not a very cheerful, caring, good, person

You have never called someone a horrible name, wished your mom dead, ANYTHING??? come on. you know you have done something.....
How horrible are we talking about here. I was cursing pretty damned well after a stupid asshole in grade school kicked me in the balls, but other than that I don't tend to use "foul language" and really mean any harm. I did make one girl cry on my high school debate team, however I made up for it in candy at the next meeting. I wished a classmate dead but that was after he put hot glue on my back(I was wearing a really light shirt) in woodshop. Given that I proceeded to literally make him pee his pants when I slammed him against the wall I think all dues were paid, however. Of course, I was the one that ended up getting suspended for a week. He only got detentions for the same time period. Bastard.

Well, just by watching a person for a few minutes and having a brief conversation, I can usually pick up on who they are and where their "buttons" lie and manipulate those buttons for personal or financial gain. I'm that sort of person that, no matter who I am talking to, they walk away from me thinking I could have been their best friend.

I used to use that ability to get laid. It worked .... well. I then realized I could use it to get people to buy me things. It worked even better. A nearly perfect visual memory has its advantages. It's amazing what people will do for you if you can exploit their weaknesses/fears in the guise of a concerned peer.

I have since grown up and have vowed only to use it to benefit others. That works best of all.

The picture of sociopathic behavior, I am the exact same way.

*i am obsessed with violence, to the point where it would be too easy to dehumanize people and act. i stopped RPing for this reason.
i* am definitely a sufferer of OCD. those close to me know that i take 4 showers a day. i mop the floors in my house, including under the refrigerator, each night. i clean things with rubbing alcohol. i straighten things in a hard to understand pattern for you readers, but it translates to north south east west
* i was in the most excellent relationship for 2 and 1/2 years, and i walked out because he asked me to get help for my OCD. i later did, but it is still pretty bad.
* i have the worst case of ADD. i , as we read this post, am typing on the computer, reading pages from a script, blasting music (pentagram, if you care)
and painting my toenails.
*i kicked my last bf out of the house because he wanted to spend too much time with me. we are working on it....
* on and on, for a long time, when not in a relationship, i have slept with one of my best friends. for the record, he has been with the same girl since he was 17.

*more to come

The picture of sociopathic behavior, I am the exact same way.

Nod ... I've met a few others. Some don't grow that ever important sense of moral decency, though, and that can make them go one of two routes:

1] Sinking into deeper depression until eventual alcoholism/suicide.
2] Prison.

I wasn't fond of the idea of either path.

I have since grown up and have vowed only to use it to benefit others. That works best of all.
I respect that. Very much.

Like Branin, I have a history of self-mutilation

I'm bipolar

I don't visit my mother enough- she has cancer and is in end stage renal failure. I'm not sure if it's just that I want to avoid thinking about it or I want to avoid being close to her, so it won't hurt as much when she dies.

I've stopped writing to my favorite brother. He's serving 80 years for forcible oral sodomy on an 8 year old. We used to be very close, but I can't reconcile the charming, smart, generous person I know with a child molester. :(

*i am obsessed with violence, to the point where it would be too easy to dehumanize people and act. i stopped RPing for this reason.
How much of that is the fact that you might begin to dehumanize and how much is the fact that you are afraid that you might begin to dehumanize people and act?

*beams with understanding*....


wow. I'm a terrible person.


I do my best to make people feel inadequate.

I don't like people. if I haven't known someone for a good amount of time, or I don't find them entertaining, I turn into a snide, egomaniacle Snot and do my best to appear something like mary kate throwing a tantrum.

My mind thrives on living in the gutter.

I'm only submissive to peniage. :cool:

Ignorance makes me violent.

Strangely enough...my spelling habits are a true reflection of ignorance. (if you could base ones IQ on spelling...I'd be in the low 50's)

I'm overly determined. At no cost. Prove me wrong....I dare you. ;)


I think thats all...for now. hehehehe

if you could base ones IQ on spelling...I'd be in the low 50's

heh, no worries. i would be somewere in the negatives.

How much of that is the fact that you might begin to dehumanize and how much is the fact that you are afraid that you might begin to dehumanize people and act?
thats the problem, i am not afriad at all.....

I tend to be arrogant about my IQ- 146
but I don't use it much- I'm intellectually lazy

thats the problem, i am not afriad at all.....
Then how did you realize you needed to stop and do so?

heh, no worries. i would be somewere in the negatives.
I would be somewhere in the same category with most rocks.

I'm intellectually lazy
Now the question is how many people on these forums does that describe?

I am intensely competitive to the point that I will deride other people's actions and thoughts in order to feel superior.

I will cheat if I manage to justify rigging the competition.

I am a very bad loser, to the point I will become highly confrontational.

It takes a miracle for me to admit being wrong in any way.

* i have, more than once, more than many times, used my looks to get me things. free drinks, especially. i have completely taken advantage of the stupid bartender that thinks i am going to give him the time of day. i am nice to him, even though i secretley think he is a complete gimp. whats worse, i have the money to buy the drinks. it just makes me feel good.
*i exacted a most horrible revenge on a person who trusted me with a secret. i didnt like the secret, so i screwed him over. ( NO DETAILS, IT IS ILLEGAL)

I am intensely competitive to the point that I will deride other people's actions and thoughts in order to feel superior.

I am a very bad loser, to the point I will become highly confrontational.

It takes a miracle for me to admit being wrong in any way.

i am guilty of this, also.

And, because I'm going to turn maudlin if there isn't any cuteness soon:

Dammit image tags don't work
http://img69.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img69&image=hippo6iu.jpg

Then how did you realize you needed to stop and do so?
common sense. and i couldnt do the things i want if i end up in jail

And, because I'm going to turn maudlin if there isn't any cuteness soon:

URL=http://img69.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img69&image=hippo6iu.jpg]http://img69.exs.cx/img69/3500/hippo6iu.th.jpg[/URL]
hahahahahhaha. leave the thread, then :) there isnt supposed to be one nice thing about this, it was my full intent to make this serious.

* i am definitely a sufferer of OCD. those close to me know that i take 4 showers a day. i mop the floors in my house, including under the refrigerator, each night. i clean things with rubbing alcohol. i straighten things in a hard to understand pattern for you readers, but it translates to north south east west

I'm also a member of the OCD club heh.

My apartment is spotless, as is my fridge (like...labels are all turned the same way and bottles are organized from smallest-largest). I don't mind though :)

I'm not really a pirate.... and I have legs

I tend to be arrogant about my IQ- 146
but I don't use it much- I'm intellectually lazy
I have the same problem (don't know my exact IQ, but high). I had the second highest ACT in my graduating class, yet still managed to finish quite a ways below the halfway point.

So here go some more

I am,
Lazy
Manipulative (I'm improving)
Somehow decitful (people see me as good, i am not)
overconfident
wasting my talent
avoiding my family , except when i need money for a doctor(starting to feel really bad. maybe i'll go over tomorrow)
totally lost about where i want to end up in life

I'm not really a pirate.... and I have legs
:eek:

I have lost all respect for you, liar.

:eek:

I have lost all respect for you, liar.
At least I'm a brutally honest liar

hahahahahhaha. leave the thread, then :) there isnt supposed to be one nice thing about this, it was my full intent to make this serious.
It is serious. The baby hippo adopted the really old giant male turtle after being washed up near it by the tsunami. So nyah :p

Story here: http://www.blueeyedinfidel.com/archives/2005/01/pleasantness.html

I'm also a member of the OCD club heh.

My apartment is spotless, as is my fridge (like...labels are all turned the same way and bottles are organized from smallest-largest). I don't mind though :)

I have to alphabetize, colorize, and otherwise order every collection of anything that I have. When I used to collect football cards, I had them organized by: A. Conference (AFC or NFC); B. City (Alphabetized); C. Players' last names (Alphabetized); D. Year the card was printed (Chronological); E. Manufacturer of card (Alphabetized); F. Name of card set (Alphabetized). It was a uber pain in the butt when I'd get new cards to shift all the cards back when I had to put each card in a specific spot. You like that too (hopefully not as extreme :))?

There's not really a whole lot interesting about me. Feel free to ask probing questions about my inner psyche though.

At least I'm a brutally honest liar

Haha, that is one hell of an oxymoron.

It is serious. The baby hippo adopted the really old giant male turtle after being washed up near it by the tsunami. So nyah :p

Story here: http://www.blueeyedinfidel.com/archives/2005/01/pleasantness.html
with my thoughts though, i am hoping that hippo gets big and fat enough to sit on the tortoise and break its shell......... ;)

a thought just occured....if i keep posting, how people on here will completely ignore me forever???? except vittos.......

The IQ arrogance seems to be familial- My cousins is 192 and she's a pain in the butt. The lowest of anyone in the family that's been tested is 133, so in the family I tend to be on the low side. That might be my problem- feel inferior to the rest of them.

I have to alphabetize, colorize, and otherwise order every collection of anything that I have. When I used to collect football cards, I had them organized by: A. Conference (AFC or NFC); B. City (Alphabetized); C. Players' last names (Alphabetized); D. Year the card was printed (Chronological); E. Manufacturer of card (Alphabetized); F. Name of card set (Alphabetized). It was a uber pain in the butt when I'd get new cards to shift all the cards back when I had to put each card in a specific spot. You like that too (hopefully not as extreme :))?

Yes, heh....grrrrr we've talked about this you and I =P

My closets are organized by: Type of clothing, style, colour and season.

Example: Shoe-Heel (pump)-Black-Fall
My cds are now organized by what I listen to the most, and my MP3's are all organized and in one folder (see, I told you I would get around to it!)

I can be mean to people but I never stand for it. I can tell them the most sincerely hurtful things but always make them seem like a joke and that I don't mean them, when I do.

I wished my father dead, although not to his face, and he ended up dying.

Sometimes I'm falsely polite to strangers. I smother them in meaningless passive-aggressive gestures so that I won't have to have any deeper contact with them.

I procrastinate to the point that I don't get things done that should be done.

Sometimes I lie about the most unimportant things, like saying I was at a certain place when I was actually at another even though it doesn't matter to the other person where I was. No point to it, I just do it.

I believe that I'm agoraphobic and that I have a slight glucocorticoid imbalance, but I refuse to seek help for it even though I work in medicine because I hate being a patient. At the same time I am somewhat hypochondriac.

I'm an over achiever. I have to have the highest score on everything, and when I don't, it feels like a personal failure.

a thought just occured....if i keep posting, how people on here will completely ignore me forever???? except vittos.......

I love introspective honesty. Know thyself.

a thought just occured....if i keep posting, how people on here will completely ignore me forever???? except vittos.......
I have never ignored anyone, although I'm tempted in the case of Comando2 So that's two people who still would pay attention.

I, at one point in my mid teens, had seriously contemplated killing my stepfather. He was an ass to everyone in my immediate family, and he would have been more valuable dead then alive.

While I may be sociopathic, I am also reasonable. I figured that I would be very unlikely to get away with it, and so I pussed out on it.

i am guilty of the procrastination thing, also
i spend too much time on the internet, and too little time on my own problems.
as an embalmer, i deal with grieving people every day. and when they are crying and moaning about a dead old person, or someone who died from lung cancer and a pack a day, i am thinking "shut the fuck up. they lived.feel lucky". in fact, i have, on occasion, thought that even about the families who have a loved one die tragically. it is not a general feeling, just a fleeting thought , that banishes itself from my head pretty quick.

Lets see...

I'm very power hungry. If, for example, you're RPing with me, and you steal my empire's advanced technology. Don't expect me to be kind to you for a short while.

I have FAS--fetal alcohol syndrome, resulting in:
Multiple scoliosis
Severe hearing loss
depression

I am suicidal at times. I once contemplated diving headfirst off my highschool's catwalk, because I was sick of being single, and felt that not one student in my class would miss me, but withdrew and ended up on a 72 hour medical hold. :)

I surf the internet/play computer games to the point where I lose sleep, resulting in my nocturnal lifestyle.

I am perhaps one of the laziest, procrastinative persons on earth--and I flunked college because of it.

If someone says that they're pro-choice, I get EXTREMELY pissed, and lose my temper.

I was hell on 2 feet when I was younger.

I am obsessive-compulsive, I always wipe the toilet seat with toilet paper, among other things.

I am uber-scared of bees and wasps, part of the reason I want an Ice age.

On rare occasions, I find out something I dislike about a person and then go overboard (think of that Axis of Evil thing I did a week ago--it was actually directed at a specific NSer. I won't say who ;) ). It's only happened twice in my life, so that's good.


There may be more, but I'm too lazy right now to add them.

I, at one point in my mid teens, had seriously contemplated killing my stepfather. He was an ass to everyone in my immediate family, and he would have been more valuable dead then alive.

While I may be sociopathic, I am also reasonable. I figured that I would be very unlikely to get away with it, and so I pussed out on it.
should have talked to me.

i am guilty of the procrastination thing, also
i spend too much time on the internet, and too little time on my own problems.
as an embalmer, i deal with grieving people every day. and when they are crying and moaning about a dead old person, or someone who died from lung cancer and a pack a day, i am thinking "shut the fuck up. they lived.feel lucky". in fact, i have, on occasion, thought that even about the families who have a loved one die tragically. it is not a general feeling, just a fleeting thought , that banishes itself from my head pretty quick.
I suspect this is normal for a lot of people, and fleeting thoughts like that are quite common, at least for me. As a side note, how does one become an embalmer?

i am an asshole in general, so much that, right now , i am going to tell Plutonian that i am pro choice. (Plutonian, i am PRO_CHOICE!) just so he gets pissed. i guess i have a power thing right ?

i am guilty of the procrastination thing, also
i spend too much time on the internet, and too little time on my own problems.


I am very much a procrastinator as well.

What do you think causes you to procrastinate?

I feel that mine is caused by me being a perfectionist, and having an intense fear of failure.

When I was about 10 yrs old I was in the school library joking on pictures of a bald old lady who had cancer. It felt bad but I did it anyway. The next day I found out my grandma had leukemia. Just a few months she later died from it. I felt so guilty but never told anyone until now. She was a wonderful lady.

If someone says that they're pro-choice, I get EXTREMELY pissed, and lose my temper.
I'm pro-choice. I believe everyone should get to choose whether they have to empty the dishwasher instead of being ordered to by their parents.

I am perhaps one of the laziest, procrastinative persons on earth--and I flunked college because of it.

heh, been there - was kick out of high school for it and am about to be kicked out of an alterative school.

I am uber-scared of bees and wasps, part of the reason I want an Ice age.

yeah, i have been actually diagnosed with apipaphobia.. it blows. every summer/spring.

I, at one point in my mid teens, had seriously contemplated killing my stepfather. He was an ass to everyone in my immediate family, and he would have been more valuable dead then alive.

i've been there as well, with my mothers current fiancé. i think he got the picture one time when i called him an arrogant, egotistical, hypocratical ass and.. well, things esclated from there. hes learned not to let me catch him debasing any of my family again.

I suspect this is normal for a lot of people, and fleeting thoughts like that are quite common, at least for me. As a side note, how does one become an embalmer?
most states have a credentialed mortuary school with one to two year programs.......
http://www.abfse.org/html/dir-listing.html

i am an asshole in general, so much that, right now , i am going to tell Plutonian that i am pro choice. (Plutonian, i am PRO_CHOICE!) just so he gets pissed. i guess i have a power thing right ?
No, that would be a complete bitch/bastard depending on gender. If you were an asshole you would find out his address and stage a pro-choice protest outside his house.

I'm frequently domineering and verbally abusive.
I get really impatient with one of my neighbors. She's older and doesn't have a car, so I take her places. But she's extremely forgetful (early Alzheimers?)
and really spacy sometimes. I look at the caller ID and sometimes won't pick up when it's her. I know she has no family to rely on, but sometimes I just want to smack her. Goddamnit! Get your crap together, Ginny. She's only in her fifties, but I've met 90 year olds that are more alert.

Oh yeah ... one more thing, which I do still actually do ...

I vanish. If I get bored of someone - even if I've been talking to them for years - I just drop out of their lives without notice or explanation. I just sort of ... go away.

My whole life, I have maintained 5 friendships that have lasted 10+ years - one of whom is my wife, who I have known for 16 years. Otherwise, I generally tire of people after about 3 years.

I'm frequently domineering and verbally abusive.
I get really impatient with one of my neighbors. She's older and doesn't have a car, so I take her places. But she's extremely forgetful (early Alzheimers?)
and really spacy sometimes. I look at the caller ID and sometimes won't pick up when it's her. I know she has no family to rely on, but sometimes I just want to smack her. Goddamnit! Get your crap together, Ginny. She's only in her fifties, but I've met 90 year olds that are more alert.
You should be proud for helping someone, even a little. Shows your not all bad...

Oh yeah ... one more thing, which I do still actually do ...

I vanish. If I get bored of someone - even if I've been talking to them for years - I just drop out of their lives without notice or explanation. I just sort of ... go away.

My whole life, I have maintained 5 friendships that have lasted 10+ years - one of whom is my wife, who I have known for 16 years. Otherwise, I generally tire of people after about 3 years.

I am in my fifth year of college, and there are only 2 friendships I maintained from high school.

I'm pro-choice. I believe everyone should get to choose whether they have to empty the dishwasher instead of being ordered to by their parents.
When I said "pro-choice", I meant "pro-abortion"
i am an asshole in general, so much that, right now , i am going to tell Plutonian that i am pro choice. (Plutonian, i am PRO_CHOICE!) just so he gets pissed. i guess i have a power thing right ?
Nope. Nice try ;)

I'm frequently domineering and verbally abusive.

To some people ... that's a good thing. ;) :eek: :D

I'm frequently domineering and verbally abusive.
I never would have guessed. Not in a million years. Really, it's quite surprising.
*runs away and hides in nuke proof bunker*

Also, I tend to be very forgetful....

AAAAARRGGGHHH!!! :headbang:

I'm completely taken back by the level of honesty going on here. So I'll tell mine.

I hurt people with my honesty. They'll ask for my opinion on something and I'll tell them my opinion. Then they cry. It's an ongoing cycle which ends in my fantazing about carving horrible words in to their person with a rusty butter knife.

I'm the sanist person in my house at the momment and it's driving me insane. I have this need to understand people and I just cannnot understand these people. I know I'll go over the edge trying.

I blame myself for everything. I just have a hard time not doing that. It kills me to let people even take a little bit of blame in a fight where the blame should have been on both of us in equal shares. I can't do it. I'm working on it, though.

I don't want people to see the real me so I hide my intelligence and pretend to be something else. Doesn't work when I'm extremely sad, and I have been lately, so it backfires and they all find out. But I got lucky this time, and the people are the nicest people alive.

I take 3-5 showers a day and brush my teeth nearly every hour.

I have to be able to have a large amount of control over my environment. Hence my need to understand people, for then I'll know what to say and what not to say. Keeping them in a good mood is a sort of control.

Wow, I just realised that I am a very controlling person. I have to be in control because I don't believe anyone else is capable of doing it right. If I'm in control, I know I'll be ok and the ones I love will be ok. I suppose the person I end up with, as in the right one for me, will be able to take my need to carry the world on my shoulders and cast it out the window.

I smoke a pack of Turkish Jades a day and have no plans to quit. I like my mentholly goodness.

I still have urges to go back to cutting. But I won't. Still I get this strange longing everytime I see the scars on my arms or something has gone terribly wrong. I just want to not feel anything for awhile, and that allows me to do so. But I know I'm stronger than that.

I know that I'm a strong person, but at the same time, theres a bit of my soul thats not. It needs to be nurtured and loved, but with that there comes the possibility of being hurt. So I don't let anyone see me vulnerable. They think I'm a well of strength and I'm not.

I focus my life around my loved ones and make it my personal duty to make them happy. I don't give myself time for healing or love, instead I take care of them. And when people try to love me, to help me, even though it feels good and I want it, I push them away.

I'm afraid of commitment. Big time.

I never would have guessed. Not in a million years. Really, it's quite surprising.
*runs away and hides in nuke proof bunker*
Your nuke-proof bunkers are no match for my Advanced technology. :D

No, that would be a complete bitch/bastard depending on gender. If you were an asshole you would find out his address and stage a pro-choice protest outside his house.
could do that , too

In the safe privacy of my own home, almost everything becomes finger food to me.

Including pasta. Mmm.

Your nuke-proof bunkers are no match for my Advanced technology. :D
Oh shit!

*Takes elevator down to secret base attached to underside of the Earth's crust and collapse elevator shaft behind me*

When did you ally with Bitchkitten again?

In the safe privacy of my own home, almost everything becomes finger food to me.

Including pasta. Mmm.

After seeing your picture in the "Hottest Girl" thread, that is a strangely sexy post.

In the safe privacy of my own home, almost everything becomes finger food to me.

Including pasta. Mmm.
Cereal in a bowl with milk too? :D

Oh shit!

*Takes elevator down to secret base attached to underside of the Earth's crust and collapse elevator shaft behind me*

When did you ally with Bitchkitten again?
No need to hide.

*Aims chronoscepter at the sun*

<SUPERNOVA!>

After seeing your picture in the "Hottest Girl" thread, that is a strangely sexy post.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i guess i'll add a few more to my original list:

i have a crippling fear of failure, and my solution is to not get involved in the first place

i have a fear of rejection (of any kind, that is) and i avoid taking any chances

i have a fear of making myself look even remotly stupid, so much so, that i dont even talk to my closest friends most of the time, that sorta thing

i always fear the worst, and im pretty imaginative to go with it, never a good combination.

I'm afraid of commitment. Big time.

I used to not be, but I am now.

When I said "pro-choice", I meant "pro-abortion"

I would post.......

but I don't like to make people mad :D

In the safe privacy of my own home, almost everything becomes finger food to me.

Including pasta. Mmm.

I do that too! Until my mother "caught" me doing it one day and told me that it wasn't proper, I felt like I was two again and had just gotten caught for drawing on the walls. It was so much fun, and I knew it was bad and that I would probably get caught, and definately get yelled at.....but I did it anyway. :)

In the safe privacy of my own home, almost everything becomes finger food to me.

Including pasta. Mmm.

That has got to be an Italian thing. Me and my entire family does that too. There's no greater snack than a handful of dried ziti or rigatoni.

In the safe privacy of my own home, almost everything becomes finger food to me.

Including pasta. Mmm.
"finger food"? what's that?



Oh, did I tell everyone that I'm "Real Life-illiterate"? :D

I never would have guessed. Not in a million years. Really, it's quite surprising.
*runs away and hides in nuke proof bunker*
:p

"finger food"? what's that?



Oh, did I tell everyone that I'm "Real Life-illiterate"? :D
errrr..... food you eat with your fingers?

"finger food"? what's that?

why, thats food eaten with fingers.

i mean, you dont eat your fingers, you use your fingers to eat the food

No need to hide.

*Aims chronoscepter at the sun*

<SUPERNOVA!>
*all life on the surface dies, killing off billions of people, meanwhile I'm still safe in my base and now pissed off there will be no new South Park.*

"finger food"? what's that?



Oh, did I tell everyone that I'm "Real Life-illiterate"? :D
errrr..... food you eat with your fingers?

Ok I'll bite.

1. I put off everything unless I actually want to do it.

2. I feel like more of a father to my little brothers than my real dad, which has given me some real responsibility issues. Their failures are my failures, I can't persue my own life as I am forced to make sure theirs works out.

3. I find it very hard to relate with anyone, almost to the point of feeling like I am the only "real" person, and my life is some kind of test.

4. My entire life is ruled by my fear of following in my father's footsteps.

5. I can't understand women at all, and am pretty sure I never will. The only women I have ever been involved in relationships with I have intentionally pushed away.

6. I sometimes use others failures as a scapegoat for my own.

7. For four years I had insomnia and averaged about 15 hours of sleep a week. I still don't know why.

These are the ones on the top of my head. I'll post some more later

*all life on the surface dies, killing off billions of people, meanwhile I'm still safe in my base and now pissed off there will be no new South Park.*
*Detonates Plutonium Fusion Bomb*

*Nuclear chain-reaction destroyes earth and creates a new sun*

*Detonates Plutonium Fusion Bomb*

*Nuclear chain-reaction destroyes earth and creates a new sun*
*Starts a revolt in Hell and then goes off adventuring in the Planar realms.*

I'm a jealous man. A very jealous man. Sometimes, especially when I think about the possibility of some other guy having sex with her, I can't stand the thought of it whenever this girl I date on and off has another boyfriend. NOt only that, but I hide it like the dickens, so it festers.

I'm also lazy, a procrastinator. If I don't enjoy what I'm doing, I'll spend a lot of effort to think up an excuse for finishing it later.

As for my body...I have acne that seems to work in cycles. It never seems to really get bad anymore, but at times, its pretty much gone, but at other times it flares up annoyingly. Otherwise, no complaints in this department :D

More about me:


When I eat, especially at dinner, I use a fork and knife whenever possible.

A few years ago, on a vacation trip, I took a voyeur picture down my younger sister's shirt. 10 minutes later, I reqretted it and deleted the pics from my digital camera. Eventually, I confessed. It took a long while to eventually reconcile with her.

I'm a secret technophobe. If anything at all goes wrong with my computer, I won't even try to fix it. I whine at my roommates or my ex.

I actually got very upset at something OM said on the rape thread the other day. Usually even Commando doesn't even upset me, just annoys me.

I tend to nurse grudges.

I kill houseplants but keep buying them. It's like they're disposable.

I like my cats more than almost all the people I know.

*Starts a revolt in Hell and then goes off adventuring in the Planar realms.*
*Decides to end the threadjack* :D

[/threadjack]

I also have a tendency to let the garbage pile up as time goes by. But every now and then, I do a little spring cleaning so it doesn't become a problem.

can somebody please explain the thoughts or feelings that lead to "cutting" or self mutilation. I have a 17 year old brother in law who did it the other day. 22 stitches in his arm. I'm just wondering if some of you who have experienced it can tell me if there is any way I can help him out, or what causes it.

I actually got very upset at something OM said on the rape thread the other day.
should have told me

I like my cats more than almost all the people I know.




Yoikes. Is it bad I like myself more then most people (and their cats) that I know?

can somebody please explain the thoughts or feelings that lead to "cutting" or self mutilation. I have a 17 year old brother in law who did it the other day. 22 stitches in his arm. I'm just wondering if some of you who have experienced it can tell me if there is any way I can help him out, or what causes it.

i did it for a short time. for somehow, it just... coinvinced me i felt better for a short time. i have no idea why/how. it was stupid, and im done. im sure someone else could help you more, but either way, i hope he does stop like i did. never a good habit.

I kill houseplants but keep buying them. It's like they're disposable.

Does anyone else find this statement to be gut-wrenchingly hilarious, or do I just have an oddball sense of humor?

can somebody please explain the thoughts or feelings that lead to "cutting" or self mutilation. I have a 17 year old brother in law who did it the other day. 22 stitches in his arm. I'm just wondering if some of you who have experienced it can tell me if there is any way I can help him out, or what causes it.


Sorry...just saw this.


IMO.


Self mutilation is only a form of self gratification. Ie someone likes to masturbate, another person likes to make themself blee, another person likes to make someone else happy, another person gets off by smelling library books.

the only difference is that "cutting" (so eloquently put) scares anyone afraid of blood...so long as they aren't slitting their aeorta...you've nothing to worry about.

allow them their self gratification.

Does anyone else find this statement to be gut-wrenchingly hilarious, or do I just have an oddball sense of humor?

I did too, I wasn't sure if she was joking or not, so I didn't say anything.

Sorry...just saw this.

IMO.

Self mutilation is only a form of self gratification. Ie someone likes to masturbate, another person likes to make themself blee, another person likes to make someone else happy, another person gets off by smelling library books.

the only difference is that "cutting" (so eloquently put) scares anyone afraid of blood...so long as they aren't slitting their aeorta...you've nothing to worry about.

allow them their self gratification.

Uhhh... while I'd agree with this to an extent, there's also always the chance it's related to depression or serious anxiety. In those cases it's actually not healthy (because it's a symptom of a greater health problem, rather than just a behaviour on its own).

I should know, I used to cut as a way of dealing (or not dealing) with acute anxiety.

I'd keep a close-ish eye on him. If he shows other signs of depression or other health issues (lack of sleep/appetite, becoming less socially active etc), just pull him aside and... well, I don't know. For me what snapped my out of self-harm was reading up on depression and various other emotional disorders. Knowing that, most likely, my depression is actually largely enviorenmentally created let me get over it. Now when I get depressed I just sleep it off. So maybe you could encourage him to read up on the facts.

Sorry...just saw this.


IMO.


Self mutilation is only a form of self gratification. Ie someone likes to masturbate, another person likes to make themself blee, another person likes to make someone else happy, another person gets off by smelling library books.

the only difference is that "cutting" (so eloquently put) scares anyone afraid of blood...so long as they aren't slitting their aeorta...you've nothing to worry about.

allow them their self gratification.
I havent even spoken with him about it, I kind of feel like its not my place. However it broke my wife's heart and my mother in law's and I dont think it's a helathy or acceptable thing to do. I only asked because I dont want him to kill himself or something while I sit here and dont help because im afraid of being rude or hurt his feelings.

can somebody please explain the thoughts or feelings that lead to "cutting" or self mutilation. I have a 17 year old brother in law who did it the other day. 22 stitches in his arm. I'm just wondering if some of you who have experienced it can tell me if there is any way I can help him out, or what causes it.

Different reasons for different people. Some people feel so emotionally numb the need to make themselves feel something. That seems to be the most common one. I was different. It tended to calm me. If I was overwhelmed by emotions, I would cut or burn myself and I would feel peaceful afterwards. I've been told it has something to do with the release of endorphins. I also know some people do it to express emotional pain. A visible mark for pain that doesn't show.

Sorry...just saw this.


IMO.


Self mutilation is only a form of self gratification. Ie someone likes to masturbate, another person likes to make themself blee, another person likes to make someone else happy, another person gets off by smelling library books.

the only difference is that "cutting" (so eloquently put) scares anyone afraid of blood...so long as they aren't slitting their aeorta...you've nothing to worry about.

allow them their self gratification.

It also scares mothers who are worried their daughter might cut herself a little too deep this time and not worry about ti because she's done it so many times and die in her sleep.

Or brothers who have to explain to their friends that no, their sister wasn't in a terrible accident, she just takes out her anger on people by mutilating herself.

And don't forget the fact that many people use cutting as a way to punish those around them, the look what you've done to me idea. I'm not saying all people cut for this reason (in fact most don't) but it's possibly the worst thing a person could do to someone.

Cutting is a real problem, (one that I wouldn't compare to masturbation, although both can be a bit messy, (joking)) and I urge anyone who does it to help themself and those around them by finding other ways to deal with their problems.

I realize that we are not supposed to put down anything others say, and that was not my intent. This was more me getting some more things off my chest.

I'd keep a close-ish eye on him. If he shows other signs of depression or other health issues (lack of sleep/appetite, becoming less socially active etc), just pull him aside and... well, I don't know. For me what snapped my out of self-harm was reading up on depression and various other emotional disorders. Knowing that, most likely, my depression is actually largely enviorenmentally created let me get over it. Now when I get depressed I just sleep it off. So maybe you could encourage him to read up on the facts.

yeah, thats great advice, i say stick with that.

should have told me

I'll live.

Sorry...just saw this.


IMO.


Self mutilation is only a form of self gratification. Ie someone likes to masturbate, another person likes to make themself blee, another person likes to make someone else happy, another person gets off by smelling library books.

the only difference is that "cutting" (so eloquently put) scares anyone afraid of blood...so long as they aren't slitting their aeorta...you've nothing to worry about.

allow them their self gratification.

That's just ignorant!

Thanks everybody, Im sure its not easy to talk about and I appreciate it.

Does anyone else find this statement to be gut-wrenchingly hilarious, or do I just have an oddball sense of humor?
nope it is fucking funny.

Thanks everybody, Im sure its not easy to talk about and I appreciate it.

good luck, i hope he ends up ok.

I'll live.
like this, but you wont tell me :headbang:
sarcasm.....

That has got to be an Italian thing. Me and my entire family does that too. There's no greater snack than a handful of dried ziti or rigatoni.
it is, but it sucks when you get a shard stuck by your tooth. argh!

Another one, I sometimes actually feel hurt when no one responds to things I say on the internet, which is kinda sad and funny. =)

Another one, I sometimes actually feel hurt when no one responds to things I say on the internet, which is kinda sad and funny. =)

haha, and i thought i was just alone on that one.

vittos- you aske earlier about my procrastination. i think it is because of my ADD, and extreme nihilism. i just cant give a shit about somethings, no matter how important they are.
more dementia to come

It also scares mothers who are worried their daughter might cut herself a little too deep this time and not worry about ti because she's done it so many times and die in her sleep.

Cutting is a real problem, (one that I wouldn't compare to masturbation, although both can be a bit messy, (joking)) and I urge anyone who does it to help themself and those around them by finding other ways to deal with their problems.

I realize that we are not supposed to put down anything others say, and that was not my intent. This was more me getting some more things off my chest.


(I only quoted what I thought neccessary to defend)

Overindulgence is always an issue. It's just as any other habit. If someone's daughter has done it that many times, and you've not at least pissed her off about it (yeah well...teenagers are ok to piss off.) something needs to be done.

Someone who cuts to make others feel bad isn't doing it because they like it...they're doing it because they need/want something from everyone else. Yeah. that's unhealthy.

IMO...I'm not offended...I've no reason to be. not all cutters are unhealthy. It's only unhealthy if they use it as revenge (there are MANY ways to get back at someone)...

But. I guess my views on the matter are not generalized.....some people find the sight of their own blood reassuring...(if you've no understanding of that "clique" then I can't explain it to you)...

Um...yeah. so....I don't mean to offend. But some people get off on self mutililation. and there is a fine line between using it to please yourself and using it to harm others.

Another one, I sometimes actually feel hurt when no one responds to things I say on the internet, which is kinda sad and funny. =)
not really, it is hard, when this is your social life. i personally try to respond to everything- in fact, silent, didnt you ask me something a few pages back? somebody did, and i am looking for it.
i think , with these forums, it is hard, you have to go back and read all the priors..... not like chat, you know?

like this, but you wont tell me :headbang:
sarcasm.....

Was this thread supposed to be this funny? :D

haha, and i thought i was just alone on that one.
nope. a girl i know in RL the other day, because no one answered some RP thread she wrote.

I have a serious problem with posting random pictures.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v634/indianaschwartz2/Corbin%20Wars/100_0013.jpg

nope. a girl i know in RL the other day, because no one answered some RP thread she wrote.

well i'll be damned, i didnt even mention it on here cause i figured nobody would know what the hell i was talking about and why. guess i was wrong

I have a serious problem with posting random pictures.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/abaddon03/Bryce%20-%20Funny/feminist.jpg

Was this thread supposed to be this funny? :D

listen bitch....hahahahahah, i can actually call you that!! it is your name!!! no, but the houseplant thing was hilarious. and we knew you wouldnt mind if we laughed a bit, seeing as you are so cool.

as a thought, i am i the only one who cant wait for Neo Anarchists to answer this thread? her answers to anything serious kill me , and she knows it.

I have a serious problem with posting random pictures.
dont jack the thread,, fellow psycho! we should have a contest to see who is sicker.....

as a thought, i am i the only one who cant wait for Neo Anarchists to answer this thread? her answers to anything serious kill me , and she knows it.

yeah, she was my vote for funniest nationstates-er.. and shes offline, but i was hoping she would get on this thread. my only problem would be that she would take it seriously.. i'd feel bad reading it cause shes awesome

well i'll be damned, i didnt even mention it on here cause i figured nobody would know what the hell i was talking about and why. guess i was wrong



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/abaddon03/Bryce%20-%20Funny/feminist.jpg
adrian, since you are too young for me to date, i think i want a kid like you.

OM
I just took something you said the wrong way I guess. It just seemed like you were a little contemptous of women who failed to defend themselves against rapists. I realize I'm a little oversensitive in that area. Not that you can expect me to admit that again.

yeah, she was my vote for funniest nationstates-er.. and shes offline, but i was hoping she would get on this thread. my only problem would be that she would take it seriously.. i'd feel bad reading it cause shes awesome listen, even if she takes it seriously, she will still want us to laugh. that is what rules about her.

OM
I just took something you said the wrong way I guess. It just seemed like you were a little contemptous of women who failed to defend themselves against rapists. I realize I'm a little oversensitive in that area. Not that you can expect me to admit that again.
dont. i wont. but, can i tg you please?

dont jack the thread,, fellow psycho! we should have a contest to see who is sicker.....

You can't tell me what to do, I will toss you out like those crazy disposable plants.

adrian, since you are too young for me to date, i think i want a kid like you.

hahahahahaha! well thank you, and you could always adopt me. kansas city can be pretty boring, and i have always wanted to travel. just dont let me drive in the snow.

oh, and you can call me bryce, as thats my real name

listen, even if she takes it seriously, she will still want us to laugh. that is what rules about her.

ah, tru dat.

You can't tell me what to do, I will toss you out like those crazy disposable plants.
toss me out? just make sure you hurt me first, because that is another thing i should be honest about. my unhealthy association with pain, pleasure, chaos and sex.

listen bitch....hahahahahah, i can actually call you that!! it is your name!!! no, but the houseplant thing was hilarious. and we knew you wouldnt mind if we laughed a bit, seeing as you are so cool.

as a thought, i am i the only one who cant wait for Neo Anarchists to answer this thread? her answers to anything serious kill me , and she knows it.

I'd love it if she were on. I've missed her lately.

hahahahahaha! well thank you, and you could always adopt me. kansas city can be pretty boring, and i have always wanted to travel. just dont let me drive in the snow.

oh, and you can call me bryce, as thats my real name



ah, tru dat.
bryce, okay. just dont talk like a wigger, that offends a high upstanding mix breed like myself- Linda :D

To get back on topic, I really do feel like I'm resbonsible for the wellbeing of everyone I love. When they have problems it really impacts me. Me and my wife feel like we need to provide for everyone in our families. I also have a little guilt for being more successful than my brothers. My older brother rents a house off of me because lost his in a divorce, my mother in law rents a house off of me, I brought my little brother to charlotte with me to get a new start because he was hooked on pain pills. I sometimes feel weird when they come over because my place is so much different than theirs, I was so embarrassed when my wife bought her new murano that I didnt even tell anybody. I guess to sum it all up. Why do I get it and they dont? and I feel like if I mess up then we're all screwed. A lot of pressure.

Well, when I start this post, it's meant to be short. Let's see how long it end sup shall we?

1) If I can put something off until later, I will do, meaning I end up rushing things to meet deadlines. I get pissed off at myself for doing it, but still do it all the same.

2) I very rarely, other than in a few IM convos, show any outwards sign of anger. I bottle up any angry feelings I have, and keep them to myself. Makes my mind a f**ked up place to be at any time, so much so that I just avoid trying to deal with problems now, even if they really need dealing with.

3) In the last five years, I've been cheated on three times, dumped for another bloke twice, and had a string of bad relationships. Whenever I get dumped, I have to know why, and constantly ring up my ex trying to talk to her.

4) Last December ('03) I dumped a girl that I loved because I thought I could get more action with someone else. Well, the new girl ran off with someone else, and I realised that I still loved the one I dumped. Still do to this day, but now she's going out with one of my best mates from sixth form, and I don't really know what to do. She tells me that she's bored, and wants to finish with him, because "she can't see herself married to him". I guess I'm worried I might lose her to someone else for good.

toss me out? just make sure you hurt me first, because that is another thing i should be honest about. my unhealthy association with pain, pleasure, chaos and sex.
Did someone say "sex"? :D

bryce, okay. just dont talk like a wigger, that offends a high upstanding mix breed like myself- Linda :D

jesus... i hate people who talk like a wigger, drives me fucking nuts... unless, of course its to mock people who actually talk like a wigger.... dawg. ahem, i mean linda.

toss me out? just make sure you hurt me first, because that is another thing i should be honest about. my unhealthy association with pain, pleasure, chaos and sex.

Then you would get that from me, at first.

I am very good to women until I feel like I have the upper hand in the relationship, and then they usually become unattractive to me. I take competition into my relationships, too, and if I am not winning I am irritable, and when I finally win, it loses its appeal. It is all about the struggle and proving myself. If I am pursuing a woman, I am most likely using her as a tool to fight my own self-doubt.

Your turn.

dont. i wont. but, can i tg you please?

Bitchkitten is also my nation name. Feel free.

I have a habit of leaving things till I only just have enough time to do them and then get stressed and pissed because I have to do it quickly. I find it extremely hard to motivate myself now unless I have some thing to really drive me. I only Clean my room about once every 3 or 4 months and I leave stacks of dishs on my desk till they get big enough to be worth removing from my room (which usually ends up being about 2-3 loads up the stairs). I like to be honest... untill it comes to any thing about me especially my feelings or my past. I like to eat cheese. and lastly I have a very big.................. TOE!.

Quite weak but thats all I can think of (that people other than me deserve to know)

*well, back on topic. since a post on here was brought up, i will admit:
i was sexually assaulted at the age of 16 quite violently. i could not get to the offender ( he died, unrelated) so i dated his brother, got into his head, and did some bad bad things. i later told him, and he sued me.
* my friend slit his throat and wrists in the bathroom at his house during a party. we found him, near death, and when i was trying to stop thebleeding, i said cruel things about suicide being a pussy thing to do. i thoought he was going to live, but he didnt. those were the last words he heard
*i have an issue with handicapped people. big issue.

Bitchkitten is also my nation name. Feel free.
i did. :)

Did someone say "sex"? :D



grrrrarrr...I'll say it again!!!!


yeah. after the second to the last post...



don't *I* just feel effin terrible. :headbang:

i said cruel things about suicide being a pussy thing to do. i thoought he was going to live, but he didnt. those were the last words he heard.
Oh, damn. Terrible timing, aint it?

I have a habit of leaving things till I only just have enough time to do them and then get stressed and pissed because I have to do it quickly. I find it extremely hard to motivate myself now unless I have some thing to really drive me. I only Clean my room about once every 3 or 4 months and I leave stacks of dishs on my desk till they get big enough to be worth removing from my room (which usually ends up being about 2-3 loads up the stairs). I like to be honest... untill it comes to any thing about me especially my feelings or my past. I like to eat cheese. and lastly I have a very big.................. TOE!.

Quite weak but thats all I can think of (that people other than me deserve to know)

heh, we have most of those things in common, then. i say most because i dont know about the whole toe things. i think mine is a very average size.

*well, back on topic. since a post on here was brought up, i will admit:
i was sexually assaulted at the age of 16 quite violently. i could not get to the offender ( he died, unrelated) so i dated his brother, got into his head, and did some bad bad things. i later told him, and he sued me.

That is a story I would like to hear more of, but I doubt you would want to repeat it.

* my friend slit his throat and wrists in the bathroom at his house during a party. we found him, near death, and when i was trying to stop thebleeding, i said cruel things about suicide being a pussy thing to do. i thoought he was going to live, but he didnt. those were the last words he heard

He didn't remember them.

*i have an issue with handicapped people. big issue.

What sort of an issue?

my friend slit his throat and wrists in the bathroom at his house during a party. we found him, near death, and when i was trying to stop thebleeding, i said cruel things about suicide being a pussy thing to do. i thoought he was going to live, but he didnt. those were the last words he heard

heh, about the suicide thing, i know the feeling. i have always believed that suicide is a very cowarly way out of things, and i told my friend that after a failed attempt. suffice to say, didnt go over well with him.

*i have an issue with handicapped people. big issue.

that reminds me, you never tged me about what that issue was. :D

heh, about the suicide thing, i know the feeling. i have always believed that suicide is a very cowarly way out of things, and i told my friend that after a failed attempt. suffice to say, didnt go over well with him.



that reminds me, you never tged me about what that issue was. :D

It is the easy way out. That's why people do it. Living is much harder.

That is a story I would like to hear more of, but I doubt you would want to repeat it.
He didn't remember them.
What sort of an issue?

i will repeat, and answer questions. hey!thats another bad thing!
yeah, i know he didnt, but then i lied to his parents about what i did say.
issue? fuck. kill them all. i dont like anyone who cant contribute to society.
(there is your tg, adrian)

vittos, if you have a lot of questions, i would rather answer them in a messenger typeof situation....tg me, please

i will repeat, and answer questions. hey!thats another bad thing!
yeah, i know he didnt, but then i lied to his parents about what i did say.
issue? fuck. kill them all. i dont like anyone who cant contribute to society.
(there is your tg, adrian)

I don't even know where to start asking questions, tg me if you ever get the time.

A lie is just fine as long as they won't find out.

You aren't killing me if I become handicapped.

vittos, if you have a lot of questions, i would rather answer them in a messenger typeof situation....tg me, please

I am going to log off of here pretty soon, but next time I see you online, I will tg you.

A lie is just fine as long as they won't find out.
No, it is not. Never has been, never will be. A lie's a lie.

It is the easy way out. That's why people do it. Living is much harder.

i understand that, and to be perfectly honest, i did at one point attempt suicide so i know first hand. the way i saw it was simple.
1) the people who loved me would be crushed if i did it. i didnt want to hurt then
2) while living is much harder, there are millions of people with lives just as bad or worse, and they make it just fine.
3)things will always change, and 90% of the time, get better.

i could be wrong - thats just my view on it. after looking at it that way i found it cowardly.

I don't even know where to start asking questions, tg me if you ever get the time.

A lie is just fine as long as they won't find out.

You aren't killing me if I become handicapped.
well, it s a bad thing about me, a thought, remember the point of the thread? dont give me shit........... :D

fuck. kill them all. i dont like anyone who cant contribute to society.
(there is your tg, adrian)

heh.. well, i guess everyone is entitled to their opinion. at least you dont beat around the bush.

No, it is not. Never has been, never will be. A lie's a lie.
yup. and that is why it being discussed on the bad things thread.

yup. and that is why it being discussed on the bad things thread.
Where can I find that thread?

heh.. well, i guess everyone is entitled to their opinion. at least you dont beat around the bush.
i have the feeling i am just making friends like there is no tomorrow!
anyhow, when i say brutally honest, i mean it. peoples minds can be terrible places to delve into.

vittos- night! soon.....

oh, uh....*swings this thread around and hits you on the head with it*
right here. :)

oh, uh....*swings this thread around and hits you on the head with it*
right here. :)
*Birds chirping*

Thanks :)

No, it is not. Never has been, never will be. A lie's a lie.

The truth is relative, and ignorance is bliss. If I tell you what you want to hear, and you are none the wiser, then you are happy and I am happy. No problem.

i have the feeling i am just making friends like there is no tomorrow!

you are... must not be many disabled people here on nation states.

The truth is relative, and ignorance is bliss. If I tell you what you want to hear, and you are none the wiser, then you are happy and I am happy. No problem.
Ignorance may be bliss, I understand that. But I still stand by what I said.

you are... must not be many disabled people here on nation states.
Does severe hearing loss count as being disabled?

i have the feeling i am just making friends like there is no tomorrow!
anyhow, when i say brutally honest, i mean it. peoples minds can be terrible places to delve into.

vittos- night! soon.....

Goodnight, OM and everyone else. In one conversation, you people have learned more about me than anybody else in the 22 years I have been alive. Now, if I ever happen to meet any of you in person I will have to kill you.

*Is he kidding?*

Does severe hearing loss count as being disabled?
WHAT?!? :p

The truth is relative, and ignorance is bliss. If I tell you what you want to hear, and you are none the wiser, then you are happy and I am happy. No problem.
remember guys, :) no debates about whats wrong or right on here, okay?

Goodnight, OM and everyone else. In one conversation, you people have learned more about me than anybody else in the 22 years I have been alive. Now, if I ever happen to meet any of you in person I will have to kill you.

*Is he kidding?*

i will get you first. on the flip side, i am pretty stoked you are single :D

*Is he kidding?*

hahahaha.. am i the only one who picture death from family guy?

"i'll be back, very very soon... is he kidding, ha!"

i understand that, and to be perfectly honest, i did at one point attempt suicide so i know first hand. the way i saw it was simple.
1) the people who loved me would be crushed if i did it. i didnt want to hurt then
2) while living is much harder, there are millions of people with lives just as bad or worse, and they make it just fine.
3)things will always change, and 90% of the time, get better.

i could be wrong - thats just my view on it. after looking at it that way i found it cowardly.

That's why I don't try it again. I think about the guilt that I'd have if someone I loved did it, and I wouldn't want to put anyone else through it. But still, since I'm bipolar, I can't guarantee I'll always think clearly. As long as I'm on the level, I'd never do it. When I'm extremely depressed I sometimes hallucinate and things don't make sense. It's hard to explain how much the way your mind works can change. It's almost like my whole personality changes. Very weird.

you are... must not be many disabled people here on nation states.

Actually I'm currently collecting disability. But it only lasts three years and I plan to be back to work before then.

That's why I don't try it again. I think about the guilt that I'd have if someone I loved did it, and I wouldn't want to put anyone else through it. But still, since I'm bipolar, I can't guarantee I'll always think clearly. As long as I'm on the level, I'd never do it. When I'm extremely depressed I sometimes hallucinate and things don't make sense. It's hard to explain how much the way your mind works can change. It's almost like my whole personality changes. Very weird.

yeah, i (mostly) understand the whole bipolar thing. one of my closest friends (who is living with me at the moment) is very bipolar... i havent seen him in about 2 weeks, he has just vanished. bipolar disorder is never fun. i hope you never get to that level of depression again.

Does severe hearing loss count as being disabled?
no.
and adrian, that was blunt
[QUOTE= Adrian i dont know, you'll have to ask occidio if she thinks your useless and oughta be offed.[/QUOTE]

no.
Thanks.

no.
and adrian, that was blunt

ah, i know, im sorry.. i just.. dont exactly agree with your thought on the whole disablity thing, but i shouldnt have said that, i apologize. afterall, i did ask you to let me know. and sorry to you plutonian empire, i really didnt mean to sound like an asshole.

ah, i know, im sorry.. i just.. dont exactly agree with you on the whole disablity thing, but i will stop, i apologize. afterall, i did ask you to let me know.
hahah. i am not mad. i was just saying- that was pretty in your face :D i still love you.

I'm a bit socially inept. I did the turtle thing in that crucial bit of primary school when you're supposed to be learning how to be a social human being and I'm still catching up to everyone else.

It mainly manifests itself in casual touching. It really just doesn't occurr to me to hug someone, or anything like that, and I'm surprised when it does to someone else, which results in my recoiling in terror :P damn you ancient animal instincts.

I also talk very incoherently. I can write well, because the editing means I can shovel off the bullshit all my good ideas are buried in, but spontaneous generation kills words.

Thanks.
you know , you should know you are way smart, and would be a great contribution to society. why would you ask?
i just mean the types of people that truly cant contribute, even if they tried. not just people with a fucked up leg, their brain could be perfectly fine, you know?

I'm a bit socially inept. I did the turtle thing in that crucial bit of primary school when you're supposed to be learning how to be a social human being and I'm still catching up to everyone else.

It mainly manifests itself in casual touching. It really just doesn't occurr to me to hug someone, or anything like that, and I'm surprised when it does to someone else, which results in my recoiling in terror :P damn you ancient animal instincts.

I also talk very incoherently. I can write well, because the editing means I can shovel off the bullshit all my good ideas are buried in, but spontaneous generation kills words.
i hate that hugging stuff from random people. i have a thing with personal space.....
and you can write well. this is net, and that is all that counts :)

you know , you should know you are way smart, and would be a great contribution to society.
I plan to: Implement the Plutonian Empire in RL. I admit I'm only 20, and it takes a lot of time to do something like this. Right now, 5 years down, ??? to go :D
i just mean the types of people that truly cant contribute, even if they tried. not just people with a fucked up leg, their brain could be perfectly fine, you know?
Ahh, I see.

hahah. i am not mad. i was just saying- that was pretty in your face :D i still love you.

heh, i have almost always used blunt as cold and emotionless, i dont wanna be that guy. heh, i meant no offense to you or plutonian empire in any way, his probably pissed at the moment. and i still love you - i still wanna see socal.

heh, i have almost always used blunt as cold and emotionless, i dont wanna be that guy. heh, i meant no offense to you or plutonian empire in any way, his probably pissed at the moment. and i still love you - i still wanna see socal.
Why would I be pissed?

Why would I be pissed?

ah well, if you not i wont even worry about it. :D

i will get you first. on the flip side, i am pretty stoked you are single :D

You shouldn't say such things.

ah well, if you not i wont even worry about it. :D
Don't worry, I'm not pissed. In some cases, it takes a lot to piss me off. In other cases, the same thing can piss me off to no end instantaneously.

yeah, i (mostly) understand the whole bipolar thing. one of my closest friends (who is living with me at the moment) is very bipolar... i havent seen him in about 2 weeks, he has just vanished. bipolar disorder is never fun. i hope you never get to that level of depression again.

I don't think it will. The meds work, mostly. Funny thing is all my life people just dismissed it as me being a moody melodramatic bitch. It wasn't until I got older and it got worse that anyone got worried.

As far as OM's disability issue, doesn't bother me, because I know I not useless. I worked for twenty years before collecting disability, and will work again. Besides, I choose to think OM means people who will never be able to do anything for themselves.

Besides, the whole idea of the thread is confessing things you might not be proud of or think somebody might react negatively to.

Don't worry, I'm not pissed. In some cases, it takes a lot to piss me off. In other cases, the same thing can piss me off to no end instantaneously.

im like that too. with very weird things though.

at one point, while i was still in school, i was know as the most laid back person ever but one time i flipped out and rearranged all the desk cause they were all slanted and in horrible order. weird things like that - i've been called obsessive compulsive.

You shouldn't say such things.
give me 43,783,901 reasons why.

im like that too. with very weird things though.

at one point, while i was still in school, i was know as the most laid back person ever but one time i flipped out and rearranged all the desk cause they were all slanted and in horrible order. weird things like that - i've been called obsessive compulsive.
I'm also obsessive compulsive. Many times in school, i'd line up all the desks so they'd be perfect, or as close to perfect as possible.

I don't think it will. The meds work, mostly. Funny thing is all my life people just dismissed it as me being a moody melodramatic bitch. It wasn't until I got older and it got worse that anyone got worried.

yeah, i can understand that. im kinda worried about my sister, cause shes doing that. shes only 13, so half of me is thinking its just growing up and whatnot, but the other half of me is really cautious. her mood swings are really intense. glad to hear the meds work though.. what are you taking if you dont mind my asking?

As far as OM's disability issue, doesn't bother me, because I know I not useless. I worked for twenty years before collecting disability, and will work again. Besides, I choose to think OM means people who will never be able to do anything for themselves.

Besides, the whole idea of the thread is confessing things you might not be proud of or think somebody might react negatively to.
thankyou,well said. and you are correct. :)

I have a question. Does any one like to ripp the shit out of stupid people and.... retarded people because you find it funny and know they probably dont realise that every one is laughing at them. They just think everyone is laughing at a joke they missed or didnt understand, which can be true but they dont realise its about them.
That made me think of another thing about me... I try to be nice to people that have not done wrong to me but I cant help but be 'mean' to them. It kinda gets to me sometimes when I look back. But there are a few people that I some how manage to be nice to without putting in any more effort. Some people realise im not actually being an asshole... but still.
I have a BIG toe and I like to eat cheese...... incase you missed that in my last post.

give me 43,783,901 reasons why.

heh. shit - good luck pal. need some help?


maybe that should be a thread? 43,781,901 reason why om shouldnt say things like that.

yeah, i can understand that. im kinda worried about my sister, cause shes doing that. shes only 13, so half of me is thinking its just growing up and whatnot, but the other half of me is really cautious. her mood swings are really intense. glad to hear the meds work though.. what are you taking if you dont mind my asking?

Lamictal-mood stabilizer
Lexapro-anti-depressant
Buspar-anti-anxiety-It's a good one because it's non-sedating and not addictive like Xanax or valium
I have an Rx for Ambien, a sleeping pill, but rarely get it filled

I'm also obsessive compulsive. Many times in school, i'd line up all the desks so they'd be perfect, or as close to perfect as possible.

yeah. it sucks. i dont think im actually oc, cause some things dont bother me in the least, but other things im horrible.

yeah. it sucks. i dont think im actually oc, cause some things dont bother me in the least, but other things im horrible.
Actually, I kind of like it. My family says that I'm oc in good way. :) (if my memory's correct)

heh. shit - good luck pal. need some help?


from what i know of vittos, he is actually doing it right now.

Lamictal-mood stabilizer
Lexapro-anti-depressant
Buspar-anti-anxiety-It's a good one because it's non-sedating and not addictive like Xanax or valium
I have an Rx for Ambien, a sleeping pill, but rarely get it filled

how well does ambien work? i really should talk to a doc about my inability to go to sleep. and wake up when i finally do get to sleep.

Actually, I kind of like it. My family says that I'm oc in good way. :) (if my memory's correct)

err... can you explain how that works? cause i really need to try that kinda oc.

Lamictal-mood stabilizer
Lexapro-anti-depressant
Buspar-anti-anxiety-It's a good one because it's non-sedating and not addictive like Xanax or valium
I have an Rx for Ambien, a sleeping pill, but rarely get it filled

Do you think you could help me out with one of those things... please *puppy eyes*

err... can you explain how that works? cause i really need to try that kinda oc.
Unfortunately, my mind's coming up blank right now :(

Unfortunately, my mind's coming up blank right now :(

heh, no worries... i'll come back to you at a point when it doesnt matter at all.

how well does ambien work? i really should talk to a doc about my inability to go to sleep. and wake up when i finally do get to sleep.

Works pretty well, but not good to take all the time. Can be habit forming. Can give you some pretty strange dreams, but I consider that the upside. :D

Works pretty well, but not good to take all the time. Can be habit forming. Can give you some pretty strange dreams, but I consider that the upside. :D

heh, i welcome the chance for dreams stranger then the ones i already have. mine are usually pretty sick and twisted, a nice dream would be a welcome thing. thanks for the info though.

thanks for the info! (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/abaddon03/Bryce%20-%20Funny/buddychristthanks.bmp)

I'm a depressive, alcoholic, drug addict, and a compulsive liar!!!

Night all. more sickness tomorrow. my mind is reeling. to all those who participated, thankyou. your honesty, and candor is appreciated. see you guys tomorrow!

Night all. more sickness tomorrow. my mind is reeling. to all those who participated, thankyou. your honesty, and candor is appreciated. see you guys tomorrow!
G'night! :)

Goodnight OM.

That sleeping pill sounds really good. It usually takes me 1-3 hours to get to sleep (some times even more) and I dont dream very often. I mostly dream when I am having that kinda half sleep that is hardly worth having. I have never had sleeping pills befor but I find I sleep good when I have been drinking large ammounts and I find I also sleep better If I have smoked some marijuana. Not much better mind you but it is still better.



/edit my cheese wax is getting smelly and is too small to make any thing real so please.... point me in a good source of entertainment or cheese wax some one

Night all. more sickness tomorrow. my mind is reeling. to all those who participated, thankyou. your honesty, and candor is appreciated. see you guys tomorrow!

g'night ms. linda.

lol this thread pretty well died as soon as Occidio Multus left.

lol this thread pretty well died as soon as Occidio Multus left.

thats how most thread are with either her or neo-anarchists. everyone gets off when they get off. dont worry, it'll pick back up eventually.

Yhea probably when I go to sleep and then I will have 10 pages to read tomorrow... and im too lazy for that.. tis already 1 in the morning and I will probably get woken up early again =(

I've been gone for the last 20 minutes. My roommate just got up and turned on the floor lamp, knocking it over in the process. He set it back up, but not straight, so it fell over again. The second time it went over the light bulb broke and tripped a breaker. Knocked out our electricity and we couldn't find a working flashlight. (torch for you non-Americans) Finally got to the breaker box and got the power back on. Had to reboot my piece of crap computer twice before I could get back online. How piece of crap? you might ask. This is a 233 mh Pentium II. This is the confessional thread and I confess that my computer is obsolete and my roommate is an idiot.

Hmmm.....
Well, I'm obsessive. Possibly not OC, and it doesn't manifest itself in a literal sense, but I certainly obsess. If here someone say something negative about me, then I can think on it, near constantly for 1 week plus, and that's for a tiny thing. I'm depressive, possibly slightly manic, and it's been severely affecting my life.... as in not turning up for any of my exams, or handing in any of my assignments. I'm not taken seriously, and people assume that I'm going through the delayed teen-angst stage, which makes me incapable of actually explaining things to them for fear of a negative reaction. Because I'm so concerned of peoples opinions of me, I keep every little aspect of my life bottled up, which has led to cases of extreme violence, where, regardless of the severity of the offense, or the company present, I can lose control, and violently attack people, which is quite major. I'm talking leaping through the air at their throat (literally) for something as much as say... talking to me when I asked for quiet. I've went for days without sleep, which is not something I like to do, and am without energy all day, regardless of physical activity.

I've maintained contact with one friend from school, and don't talk to anyone at university. I spend all the time I can doing something that doesn't involve reality, like listening to music, reading, playing video games, so that I don't have to think about things.

over on the "dream thread" we had a poster request that i do this.
this thread is for you brutally honest people to list all the bad things about you. it can include personality traits,things you have done to others and just general evilness. dont feel like you have to post it all at once. come back, visit often, and dont forget to leave a sin or twelve behind. my own posts on this thing will be numerous.
remember , be honest. once you decide to "confess", purge it all.
but don't make up anything either. i am really curious to see how far this goes, and how many gut - wrenching feelings it illicits.
*AND, IF BY CHANCE THERE IS SOME HEAVY POSTS ON HERE, LIKE THE REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, UN-PC TYPE, DON'T JUDGE ANYONE. AFTER ALL, WE ALL ARE GUILTY OF SOMETHING*
really don't think i should get started. bad things...

I have a major seniority complex, I am a compulsive liar. I have done drugs many times (kinda quit now). Forgotten my Jewish ways. I skip classes. I think Im too perky sometimes. Driven someone crazy (Opps, It was an accident). Ingage in self-pleasures, and indulgance and all those none Buddhist things.


Wow. Doesnt make me feel any better. I have better go meditate on the lake for awhile, be back sometime.

I'm a perfectionist, possibly verging on OC - with the result that I rewrite lecture notes at uni up to three times before I'm happy with them. I like to colour-code my notes - headings in blue, main text in black, formulae in green, examples in red.
I also get OC about cleaning, but only in certain places. While there may be extenuating circumstances (I work in a cafe) mopping the kitchen floor three times a week really isn't necessary; however, I have it on good authority that my bedroom is a cesspit.
I'm not very good at keeping in touch, and I should ring university and old school friends more than I do. I prefer to sit at home with a book than go out to parties and pubs with friends.
And there's many more. I just don't want to write them all down because it's too shameful in one post - I can't handle it! :p

I have done drugs many times (kinda quit now).

And this is a bad reflection on your character how exactly? :)

Er, I'm not very sociable. If I get a conversation started I'm fine, but I generally don't start a conversation myself.

Also, I don't like sitting around doing nothing. I get REALLY edgy if I've got nothing to do.

That's all the character flaws I can think of at the moment. Oh, I spent upwards of 7 hours playing Diablo 2 yesterday. I guess being able to spend such a large portion of my waking hours playing a repetitive videogame is a bit of a flaw.

And this is a bad reflection on your character how exactly? :)
well in the USA it is illegal?

I abuse relationships a lot. Im not gonna go join my roomate and meditate on the frozen lake. SO Ill stop there.

well in the USA it is illegal?

Urination in an alley behind a bar is illegal too, and i'll freely admit i've done that. How does it make you a bad person?

I have a major, major fault: if I have to do something I don't want to do, I will drag my feet and procrastinate until hell won't have me! This has always been a problem for me and probably will be until the day I die. :(

I can be controling at times, only if the situation lets me, I don't like being wrong...but this is because I nearly am always right(haha I suppose condesending could be one of my traits too,but I'm really not) well some of the time..but I don't gloat about it!!!!
I have none of those ahh isn't that kid all cutsie feelings and don't understand how girls my age do,
I'm quite sarcastic at times also

I'm far too passive-agressive(sp?). I'm usually very submissive and do what I'm told. But at times I get searingly angry and have been known to plot other's deaths. Luckily, I can control myself for now and keep myself from going through with it.

Well... Sometimes, I... I work to hard. *Sniffle*

But really, I don't have too many bhuge faults. Soemtimes I can get a little too serious or the opposite, very stupid.

I'm very, "militaristic" too.

I have no patience with stupid people.
I have less patience with people who are ignorant and don't want to change that.

Continuing on....

I'm a complete perfectionist, and everything has to be symmetrical, otherwise it just doesn't look right to me. I've spent up to about half an hour in a shop fixing their rack of DVDs so that they're all exactly the same distance sticking out of the rack, and I spend about fifteen minutes making a cheese sandwich (all the cheese has to slot together perfectly or it isn't good!)

I put things off ridiculously, especially at the moment... I'm putting off going to a doctor, I'm putting off collecting my loan, I'm putting off going to a dentist (though that's just a check-up) I'm putting off university, life, myself, and explaining to my close family (ie, the part I still live with whilst I figure out how to live in the world at large), getting a job (that's just one thing I can't take at the moment, but I can't explain to my family why it's something I just don't want to involve myself in.... and it's all going to come crashing down in the next one or two weeks, and I'm going to feel like utter hell. Still, hopefully, it'll get better after that.

(everyone in my house is completely unaware that I've gave up the degree course I'm on and want to start another, and so are moaning to get my finances sorted, which is something I can't do, being between courses. I then need to get the university to let me in despite the fact that they've got no reason to, the university, also doesn't know that I want to change course, and given I've spent the last half year in uni not doing my coursework, they might just refuse me... and then when I get back my four Fs in the mail.... and that's just the literal side of my worries... the mental ones are waaaay worse. Damnit, this is not gonna be a fun month.)

I'll begin with my current opinion on "normal" people:

It seems like hardly anyone I have ever met is able to form their own opinions, ideas and thought patterns, and for some unknown reason most "normal" people simply have to irrationally and mindlessly stick to the way other "normal" people around them think, according to the opinions and ideas that they are being given and mindlessly stick to and defend.

I simply can't understand why people keep thinking according to ideas that they haven't developed or even thought through and tried to fully understand themselves, from a completely neutral point of view. (but then, I don't think the way "normal" people do) And if you don't participate in the stupidity and appear to think "normally", (which isn't too hard, just be extremely closed-minded and appear to agree to 100% with the majority in all cases) you will quickly get picked on, despised, cast out from groups of people, and in some cases even hated, just because you are not "normal". [/rant]

Whoa, I'm a perfectionist to. I forgot because there hasn't been anything to work on that requires perfection.

Hmmm... Let's see what's wrong with me...

When I help people with problems it's not because I care (sometimes I do though) but it's because I want to have a better standing with that person and I become overly jealous of anyone who tries to also help that person, lest I'm not asked for advice anymore...

I need to have things just the way I want them and sometimes I'll go on crazy cleanups in the whole house to make things perfect!

I can't stand talking to my family about anything remotely personal but there's no good reason for it.

I roll in my bed while listening to music as a form of escapism and I also "read" people and use that information to help my own causes.

Something just reminded me of something. Here what happened:
I read an inflammatory post and click "quote" and started formulating my reply, when I realized that the post I was replying to wasn't there. I refreshed the other page and did it again, and it still wasn't there. I went back and realized there was never a post there. I checked to make sure it hadn't been deleted or anything, and it turns out I was just clicking reply all along and the inflammatory post was entirely in my head.

This reminded me that I'm probably extremely dangerous to be around.

Neo, it's nice to know there's someone crazier than me on here. People were talking about you last night. Fortunately we all deleted our posts before you came on. :p

My vices? Probably my perverse mind.

Either than that, I'm rather normal.

I just did a huge list and it got deleted. Damn pc.

Well, I can warn you before hand, my list is long........ I might try and

shorten it slightly:

I am paranoid, have depressive tendencies, have selfharmed and considered suicide, have pathetic small problems which I sink into selfpity over, I comfort eat, I am insecure and lack confidence making me awful in most social situations, I lie a lot, to get sympathy, to get my way, to get attention, to protect myself, I break the law by doing underage... stuff (films, obviously :p) I have shoplifted before, I get away with far more than I deserve to, I get too self concious (so can't do drama, perform music, speak publically) apart from the times when I probably should be more selfconcious, I am a mess of contradictions such as that one, I confuse myself, I am indecisive and when I make decisions they're usually awful, I obsess over htings running them round in my head, I mess up things and drag other people into my life and mess up their lives too, I am lazy and procrastinate, I spend far too much time on the pc and doing generally unproductive things (like writing lists of my flaws) I don't do enough exercise, I am awful at sport generally, am awful at soldering and general handy work things like drilling, I have bad hair and bad skin, I read my mums diary once, I can be sarcastic and patronising and cruel, I can be terribly selfish and inconsiderate, I say stupid things, I disappoint my dad, I have high expectations of myself and people around me, I hold grudges and can be stupidly argumentative, I take out my anger on other people, I dont listen to my logic and I do stupid things, I dont learn from my mistakes, I just make mistakes more and more, I like to have plans, when I am impulsive its usually a mistake, I spend my money on stupid things, I read trashy teen romance books, I let my good musical taste slide when I'm in a dancy mood, I have glasses, I get colds easily, I get cold easily and always have the opposite temperature to everyone around me.

Um... I could go on for a long time. Yes, I know, I have issues :p

I do have nice qualities, I should probably list some and do some damage control:

I'm a great listener, I am understanding, non-judgemental and can empathise with pretty much everyone, I can be very selfless and kind and helpful, I notice my flaws by psycho-analysising myself regularly and do my best to change myself (honestly, I do!), I am intelligent, passionate about issues, protective of my friends, I listen to good music, I'm open minded...

I am, generally, a nice person and a good friend :)

really don't think i should get started. bad things...
that not right. if you dont want to post,, then you just ghost read the thread. if you post any type of anything........ that is a tease. so let out with it.

[QUOTE=Glitziness]I just did a huge list and it got deleted. Damn pc.

Well, I can warn you before hand, my list is long........ I might try and

shorten it slightly:
-SNIP-



Um... I could go on for a long time. Yes, I know, I have issues :p

I do have nice qualities, I should probably list some and do some damage control:

QUOTE]
we all issue, that is the point. no need for damage control on this thread.

And there's many more. I just don't want to write them all down because it's too shameful in one post - I can't handle it! :p
see you soon. :D

Something just reminded me of something. Here

This reminded me that I'm probably extremely dangerous to be around.
the world hopes that certain people on this thread never get together in RL and become friends. hi neo- i did you read what we said about you last night? :)

hi neo- i did you read what we said about you last night? :)
No. I heard some people mention they were talking about me, but I never did figure out exactly what it was that was said.

the world hopes that certain people on this thread never get together in RL and become friends. hi neo- i did you read what we said about you last night? :)
If even half the the people in this thread got together at one time the universe would probably implode.

If even half the the people in this thread got together at one time the universe would probably implode.
And if it didn't, we'd probably go blow something up for fun.