World Cup 45 RP Thread [Archive] - Page 3

Cassadaigua

15-03-2009, 18:04

Burns, Lowry Assaulted Pre-Game

As Cassadaigua tries to qualify for this World Cup, and the games take on more meaning, the team has been dealt a major blow to their chances. Not by Greal, but by MEN. The incident occurred early Saturday morning as the team was arriving for their morning walkthrough at Concord Heights Stadium for a pivotal Group 2 game against Greal. Meghan Burns and Jennifer Lowry, who traditionally travel together before a game were met in the team parking low by a group of five men. The men acted as if they wanted to get the autographs of the two starting midfielders, according to police reports, and Burns and Lowry were going to sign for them. However, as they began to sign, the four men attacked the women. The ladies tried to fight back, but were outnumbered, and stadium security was very slow to react. By the time security had arrived to the scene, both players had sustained injuries and were taken to Concord Heights Hospital for observation. The incident sent shockwaves through the team, who instead of being able to prepare for the upcoming match, they had to be worried about the condition of their teammates. The players did not sustain serious injuries, but each have facial cuts that required stitches, and were not able to play in the match. Ashley Nolan and Caitlin Loiselle ended up starting in their place. As the attackers were escorted away from the police they shouted several comments praising their movement, Male Equality Now. One of them allegedly promised that this would just be the tip of the iceberg.

Phillip I. Grant, the president of MEN denounced the actions of his supposed followers and the attacks, claiming that he and the organization had nothing to do with it. In a statement, Grant said, “MEN is a non-violent organization. Never would we assault innocent women and especially not our soccer players. Though the attackers claimed to have done it to the benefit of MEN, it was isolated incident in which they planned out on their own, and was not something that we had arranged. We apologize to the players and our fans for this incident, and we support any and all charges that the Concord Heights Police Department will place on these individuals who disgraced our organization this morning.” Given the history of MEN thus far, this probably was as Grant says, an isolated incident that they did not arrange, but the nation is going to need to be concerned with this precedent. Grant, meanwhile, praised a Han Empire report in which it was quoted that “Cassadaigua has a diminutive view of men.” Of that quote, Grant said, “This shows that our World Cup protesting in working. Other nations, such as the Han Empire are able to see the way that this country treats men and have called us out on it. I hope President Tanner and the representatives in the Senate and Congress have taken note.”

The men who were arrested are currently being held in jail, without bail, and faced a sentence of anywhere between 5-20 years, the latter end of the range being possible if the attack was viewed as being part of an organized “hate crime”. Meghan Burns is expected to play against Candelaria And Marquez, however Jennifer Lowry will likely sit the game out and return for the finale against Taeshan. Ashley Nolan would start again in Lowry’s place.

Courtney’s Space

In one of our biggest games in the history of our national soccer team, we were forced to play without two of our starters, both in the midfield due to the actions of a bunch of political radicals. As you have heard by now, Meghan Burns and Jennifer Lowry were assaulted as we made our way to the stadium for a light morning practice for our game against Greal. Those responsible claim to have done it on behalf on MEN, but I really do not think that is the case. MEN has never been a violent organization, yes they do stupid things sometimes, but they have never done something like this. What this probably was, was a bunch of morons who decided to use the recent media attention that MEN has been generating to get themselves on TV and in the news. Meghan and Jennifer were not seriously injured, and both should be alright. If this incident did not happen on game day, then Meghan may not have missed the game. Jennifer suffered a light concussion, and is experiencing some post-concussion syndrome systems which could keep her out of our game in Candelaria And Marquez.

We had to play this game against Greal under this circumstance, and some of their players were kind of nice and showing concern for what happened. Ross Trent came up to me before the game and asked me how they were and how their entire team was sorry that this had happen and spoil what was an otherwise important game between our countries. Classy guy, the Grealis usually are. A win in this game could have very beneficial. We would not have clinched the group, but we would have gotten a lot closer. Ashley Nolan and Caitlin Loiselle got to start, and they made the most of their chances. Ashley, given the fact that she hadn’t ever started for us before, didn’t really seem to show a lack of experience. She’s gotten playing time off the bench, and that helped. Anderson gave them the first goal of the game in the 21st minute, but I was able to get us an equalizer thanks to a nice cross from Stacie Kerrigan. It stayed 1-1 for a while before Istoma put them up 2-1 in the 76th, in which we responded just two minutes later. The goal scoring machine, Stacie Kerrigan got us the big goal to settle for a draw. We wanted more tonight. Up next is Candelaria And Marquez on the road. As you know I play here professionally, so I will be familiar with my surroundings, and have done my best to let my teammates know as much information as I can possibly provide. Likewise, they have a book on me as well. It’s a big match again as we are in crunch time now of qualifying.

Nova Hypocria

15-03-2009, 18:20

FAH Headquarters, Hypocrium . . .

FAH President Adam Scott shifted through the papers in front of him. “I think we have a winner.”

“Boss?”

“New national coach Stevens, the reason we’ve been sat here for the last three hours.”

“Oh yes, I must have nodde . . . um . . . So you’ve made the decision?”

“Of course I have, I’m in charge, that’s what I do. There was a couple of good candidates here. In fact this one”, he passed a piece of paper across the desk. “That one would be worth hanging onto just in case. This one was impressive too, vast experience. Then I found out why. Turns out the gentleman in question is in his mid-eighties. I’d have to turn him down on medical grounds alone. A man of that age . . .” He trailed off. “Hang on, you don’t suppose he’s . . .”, he looked around before lowering his voice to a whisper. “An Elf? Do you?”

"Could be. There’s some funny old things out there in the world of football. You saw those talking bears.”

He shuddered. “How could I forget? Well we'll have none of that here. This is the one. He’s the very much human guy to put some steel into the side. Type out a nice letter would you.. And let the other candidates know the decision. While I go and make sure the cows have been moved off the Bodmin Road pitch . . .”

Mr P Pojencic
The Brambles
Morton Hill
Corley
KALLIA
KL12 6HY

Dear Mr Pojencic,

I’m delighted to inform you that your application has been successful and I am able to offer you the position of Head Coach of the Autocracy’s national football side. Your defensive background, coaching style and experience with one of the world football’s most renowned sides are very much what we are looking for at this time.

We had intended for a new coach to be in place for the Cup of Harmony but obviously if this imposes on the remainder of your contract with the Krytenia national side we will make other arrangements for that particular tournament.

I look forward to working with you.

Kind regards,

Adam Scott

President
Football Association of Hypocria

Qazox

15-03-2009, 18:40

OOC point: Any Qazox RP DIRECTLY involving Statham takes place in Qazoxian year 1952, while the Cup RP's themselves are in 1954...

NSWC Headquarters, Rêvane, Arridia;
Just inside a courtroom...

<Statham takes the stand...finally.>

Sativaville Lawyer: Mr. Statham, you are the new QFA president, correct?

Marc Statham: Yes.

Sativaville Lawyer: If I may ask, what happened to your predecessor?

Marc Statham: He died in a car accident. John Simmons was a good man.

Sativaville Lawyer: I'm sure he was. Since your predecessor was in charge of the QFA for the last, let me see here, 38 years, it would be understandable that during such a lengthy tenure, Mr. Simmons would know everything about the innerworkings of the QFA, and pass on his knowledge to his successor, correct?

Marc Statham: Yes, Mr. Simmons left a large amount of data to be reviewed upon his passing.

Sativaville Lawyer: Have you read any of the material?

Marc Statham: Not all of it. Just the stuff from the past 5 or 6 years.

Sativaville Lawyer: Have you read any of the material from about 25 years ago?

Marc Statham: No not really, I might have glanced at some of it.

Sativaville Lawyer: Well then, I guess you are not aware of a certain ruling that Mr. Simmons prepared on April 7, 1927?

Marc Statham: I doubt it. I was only about ten years old then myself.

Sativaville Lawyer: Let me read this ruling, which is the crux of our lawsuit for you and the court.
April 7, 1927
Re: Sativaville
From: John G. Simmons, QFA President
To: WCC

In regarding the application of Sativaville to be a puppeted nation of Qazox in the forthcoming World Cup 38, we deny the application based on Rule 56.3, subsection A, clause II, paragraph 3:

At anytime, a nation, which is a "puppet" of another nation, may be denied access to the World Cup qualifiers, with cause.

Our cause is the following: Sativaville illegally become independent of Qazox in 1904, and as such, has been competing illegally in the World Cup Qualifers since World Cup 29. So there for, Qazox offically withdraws its recognizition of Sativaville as a separate footballing entity, and as such, Sativaville shall be denied a position within the upcoming World Cup 38 qualifiers.

While that ruling has been overturned by Rule 75.8, subsection B, clause III, paragraph 2, this is the reason why Sativaville has been denied any chance of qualification for the past 8 World Cups. My question for you Mr. Staham, is this, Have you read this before, and if not, why?

Marc Statham: No, I have not. As for why I had not, first, I had no reason to. Secondly, at the time this was written, my predecessor was in charge, and therefore I have no recourse to either defend or deny this on his behalf or the behalf of the QFA.

Sativaville Lawyer: While that maybe true, as the current QFA president, you are held liable for all the actions and inactions of the QFA, whether or not you actually had any knowledge or control of them. So Mr. Statham, my final question, Based on this knowledge, is the Qazox Football Association liable for Sativaville's recent ban?

Marc Statham: I believe so.

(ooc: I'm just making up these "Rules" for the RP factor, just in case any one is confused )

Krytenia

15-03-2009, 19:51

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Now It's The HyPPos
By Rami Niblick in Hypocrium

THE Krytenian national team may have found themselves short one defensive coach, but Peter Pojencic can be forgiven for abandoning the cause. The call of international management, for a national team to mould in his own styling, was too great, and yesterday he was unveiled as the new head coach of Hypocria. The Hyppos have struggled in this campaign, and in a show of well-wishing to their regional counterparts, the KFA have allowed Pojencic to vacate his post immediately, in order to take control of the Hyppos in time for Matchday Thirteen.

Avidia City assistant manager, fifty-three year old Keith Mortensen, will fill the role of defensive coach until a permanent replacement can be found.

Bears Armed

15-03-2009, 21:08

OOC: and so begins an[other] adventure of 'The Bear from B.A.S.I.C.'.

The male Ursine who's been identified as 'Mr LoneBear' continues down the corridor for a short distance further, until he reaches an open door on its right-hand side. Turning in there, he enters a small office that has another door -- a closed one -- in the opposite wall. A female Ursine with black fur, an adult but still a fairly young one, is sitting behind a desk in this chamber and typing a copy of a document that's fastened into a vertical frame next to her typewriter.
"Go straight in, Naborru, they're waiting for you," she tells him, as she pulls a cord that rings a bell somewhere behind the other door. LoneBear complies with this instruction and crosses the room to that second door, pausing only to place a small parcel in front of her. He opens the door, steps through, and pulls it shut again behind himself.
The room beyond that door is a much larger office, with book-cases lining most of its walls: There is a large desk standing at one of its ends, with several telephones (in differing colours) on its top and a comfortable-looking chair behind it, but this position is empty. 'LoneBear' looks around, and sees people already sitting in three of the four armchairs that are arranged around a low table close to the room's other end (where a shelf supports globes, and models of other types as well, depicting quite a few different worlds). He walks towards them, and as he approaches that group one of their number -- a male Ursine who appears to be getting on for elderly -- gestures for him to take the empty seat.
"Mr Westerly'," LoneBear says, addressing that older male, "My apologies for not being here earlier, but as nobody had told me that I would be needed here today I'd gone to try out a new system at the Grand Casino instead. Is this meeting another one about the same problem that I was briefed on last week?"
"No, LoneBear, itisn't," replied this 'Mr Westerly'. "It's about a new problem, one that's been brought to us by these two goodbears. I introduce to you, Colonel Marrthra o Dawn from the National Army's field artillery, and BASIC agent Irryo Kurrya'kahrn from our own agency's Ostboran section."
LoneBear looked at these two additional Ursines, a middle-aged female in military garb whose fur was brown with a reddish tinge and a slightly younger male with fur of an ash-blond hue who was wearing good-quality civilian clothes.
"Hrarroom!" he greeted them. "I'd say 'Pleased to meet you', but if you've uncovered a situation that's serious enough to have been brought straight to the Director here" (He waved one of his forepaws in the direction of 'Mr Westerly'...) "then I'm not so sure about that."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________

(To be continued...)

Daehanjeiguk

15-03-2009, 22:59

World Cup 45 Qualification - Group 2
PRQ: 1-3@ Newmanistan [32] (@ Putnam Lake Stadium, Putnam Lake - ???)
MD1: 2-2 @ Greal [43] (@ who knows where?)
MD2: 1-0 @ Taeshan [31] (@ %$#^)
MD3: 2-0 @ Albundania [UNK] (@ here?)
MD4: 2-3@ Cassadaigua [50] (@ pink!)
MD5: 2-1 vs Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MD6: 1-0 @ Mo Land 3 [141] (@ gemme moland!)
MD7: 4-1 vs Achtervolging [98] (@ Dynasty Imperial Football Stadium, Namgyeong - 51,000)
MQ: @ Booblybobbers
MD8: 2-0 vs Greal [43] (@ Goguryeo Football Stadium, Pyeongyang - 52,000)
MD9: 6-0 vs Taeshan [31] (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD10: 4-0 vs Albundania [UNK] (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD11: 3-0 vs Cassadaigua [50] (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD12: 2-1 @ Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Millerman Sheppard Stadium, Albrecht - 40,614)
MD13: vs Mo Land 3 [141] (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD14: @ Achtervolging [98] (@ ah-choo!)
PTQ: @ Sarzonia [56] (@ The Iron Bowl, Portland - 46,220)

*** Spring Palace, Hangyeong ***

The Emperor was sleeping in his chambers when the alarm buzzed. He quickly flew out of bed and into the war chamber almost instantly. Of course, there was a direct link to the war chamber, a descending water slide of some 100 meters. Once he appeared in the chamber, he rose up and gazed around the room. Empty? A janitor was buzzing nearby.

"Where is the meeting?" he commanded of the janitor, who instinctively bowed to the ground on all fours (like an animal almost). "Stop that! Tell me where the meeting is!"

The janitor did nothing, leaving the Emperor even more frustrated. He walked out of the room drenching wet in his pajamas, and climbed up the stairs to the main sub-floor. There he saw the Defense Minister and noted officials waiting for him.

"Pyei-ha! You're... wet!"

"Of course, I'm wet! I went down the bloody chute!"

"Oh... I guess we pressed the wrong alarm."

"I think you did press the wrong alarm."

"Oh well..." Marquis Yi Jongmu (Defense Minister) took the stand as he began to delineate the situation in Taeshan. The Emperor took his usual seat at the head of the circular table.

"We'vev mobilized an expeditionary force for the defense of the Taeshani government, from the attack of the geese. In total, we have a mobile naval expeditionary fleet, consisting of 6 carriers, carrying an attachment of 40 jets each. Each carrier is to be accompanied by 3 frigates, 3 AEGIS-capable destroyers, and 2 submarines. In attachment with this carrier-task force is an additional complement of 10,000 marines, 100 tanks, 100 APV, 100 IFV, and 200 NPC capable vehicles, along with 30 days worth of immediate supplies and munitions. This Marine force will be fitted onto amphibious vessels, with a supporting force of hospital vessels, supply vessels, and 5 frigates, 8 destroyers, and a number of submarines. We have high hopes that this task force will be sufficient for the task."

"Begging your pardon, Marquis Yi, but is all of this anti-air stuff necessary?" the Emperor asked. "I mean, if we're going to be out with aircraft, we shouldn't need an excess force. People might think we're invading Taeshan!"

The Marquis politely responded, "Pyei-ha, are you aware what sort of damage geese can do to a plane?"

"I think that we could do this much more efficiently."

"We're not taking any chances. This is our boys' lives at stake here. One goose in a jet engine can cause much more problems than what you imagine. And if our intelligence is correct, the geese might not even yet be in Taeshan."

"Wait... they're not in Taeshan?"

"We have no reason to believe that the geese are in fact in Taeshan."

"Then who the %$#^ said that there were geese in Taeshan?"

"That would be a message. That came from nowhere, and has hence not appeared in any significant journals from anywhere else in the world, even in the Hwarang."

"So you're saying that we're pretending that Taeshan is being invaded by geese?"

"Perhaps, but with the way that things go in this modern age, you can never be too certain. At least, when the geese do attack, we'll be ready for them."

"Right..." the Emperor stood up, to the loud creaking of the chairs as the people at the table also stood up. "I'll be going back to bed."

*** Somewhere, Sometime, Somehow ***

Yim Hwanyong was not dead. He wasn't alive either, but he certainly wasn't not alive. It was a strange metastatic state in which he found himself. His previously unclean and exposed body lie dormant on a soft ground with a soft fabric covering over him. He was wearing clothes of some kind, huddled in a tent. It was the desert still. He could smell it in the air, that foul dusty aroma of sand and some camel's crap. He wanted to know where he was.

"No" came a response. He gazed up slowly at an old man sitting upon a chair across the tent. He was very aged and very scarred, as was the look upon his face - one who had seen too many years.

"Go to sleep. People will have much to say to you."

"I'm fine," Yim replied.

"Go to sleep. People will have much to ask of you."

"I'm fine," Yim said again.

"Go to sleep." The old man stood up on his short two feet. Oh, yes. He was short, not much taller than half Yim's height. No wonder these tents were so small. "I do not need to say it once more."

"I'm fine. I don't need to sleep."

"If you are ready to face the challenges that await you, then you will not have any mercy from those who would otherwise seek you pain. You must become one with your peace before venturing."

"I think that I can handle it," Yim said. He thought he was still in the desert.

"Very well." The short man hobbled out of the tent and into the sunlight. Yim slowly rose, to as high as he could stand, and started to walk out. Once out in the open, he was greeting with a barrage of sticks.

"Hey! What's that?!?"

"You are not ready for the challenges," the old man said, now riding atop a horse with a company of other men, much taller than he was. "You need to rest."

"I don't know why I need any of this."

"If you seek to become one with yourself, you must suffer these trials."

"Why should it matter?"

The old man rode over on his horse to Yim, showing him his tattoo on his arm. "You have the mark of an exile, Yim Hwanyong. If you are to survive in our world, you must first become hardened. You are too soft to rush through the world today. If you are to become more than just a criminal, a murderer, you will suffer these trials."

"If I choose not to do so?"

The old man pointed out into the wilderness. Yim could see for himself that the distance from here to there was great, and there was nothing there. "This is all desert. No man dares venture in here. And if you do not seek to re-establish yourself, you must travel the way alone. Let the desert steal your body back to the earth. If you stay, you must become like us."

"If you know me, you will know that I do not live like that," Yim replied, preparing to walk away.

The old man chuckled. "We know you very well. The question is... do you know yourself?"

"Of course, I know everything that there is to know! I'm me!"

"Are you sure?" the old man, riding his horse alongside Yim. "For a while, you say that you are Yim Hwanyong, but what if I tell you that Yim Hwanyong is dead?"

"I' standing right here. That's all I need to know."

"You're not listening. Yim Hwanyong died when he killed the Daeweongun. He died there. This is not Yim Hwanyong. This is a ghost walking. You are not yourself. Listen to the wind. It howls your name."

Yim stopped walking, and only for a short moment, everything that the old man has said was true. Yim Hwanyong had lived to kill the Emperor, and now that he had killed the Emperor, he had fulfilled his life. He died at that moment. But then he rationalized his circumstance.

"I did not kill the Emperor," he said.

"You're not listening to the wind," the man said. "Yim Hwanyong died when he killed the Daeweongun. It does not matter that he did not kill the Emperor; he had fulfilled his destiny. Now a new name is calling for you. Listen."

Yim tried to avoid playing the old man's games, but in the distance, he could hear something. It wasn't a name, but it was definitely a vocalization. He could hardly hear it, the wind was too loud.

"I can't hear it," Yim replied.

"Ah, but you are listening," the old man said. "Come with me, and I will teach you to understand what the wind is telling you."

Yim paused for that moment. He looked to the crew of some 40 men, presumably criminals, sitting atop their horses. If he took the man's offer, he would indeed be living in the steps of someone else; and it was something that he had not quite liked to think about. He ruled himself. He was the descendant of nobility - who listens to an old man these days? But then again, he was hearing the wind say things, but he could not understand them. Maybe the old man could help him? Either that, or he was just hallucinating again. The old man started to trot back to his men atop the hill, leaving Yim only a moment to think about his choice.

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A Clean Win For Qualification Leaves Misery for BoF Compatriots

ALBRECHT - So it was a win at the Millerman, and in the presence of familiar icons, the Han took the stage. And won. Cleanly, if I may add that. It was a great win for the Han as they secured qualification for the task. And seeing to offer the subs an opportunity to play against a world-class team, the Han managed to pull out a 2-1 win, after a stunning early goal by Ibadulla sent the Blues ahead. Kim Jiwun in goal, it was an understandable mistake for a person who's only been in the net once (internationally that is), but it was also a clinical strike that had left any clue of the Han's miserable history with refs to dust. It was a good goal, and the Han were worthy foes to give it. Unfortunately for the Blues, it wasn't as much the same, since the Han seemed to equal that and gave a little more back. After a half hour, Kim Daeeui came close to scoring, in the stadium in which he was most familiar in recent times. Indeed, there were perhaps a few Albrecht FC fans who were torn between their loyalty to club and nation (of course, the sensible lot would go for nation). Dannat, being the sensible coach for his side, knew that qualification was still at hand for C&M and kept Sbaïz in the net. And it was a good selection for Dannat, since the Han proved to be the more threatening lot as the game progressed. And it was a stray chance of luck that Shin Ganyak tucked away a ball that Sbaïz managed only to fist away. Yi Yeongpyo made a clever shot on goal, and on any day, Sbaïz would have gotten the credit for the most fantabulous save of the game. They'll probably blame Shin for the misadventure...

Coming out 1-1 from the half, the Han were still the more threatening lot, but Candelaria And Marquez had the better chances. Adekunde had a sublime cross that found its way past Kim Jiwun, but Cohen flapped the ball a little too strongly and the ball sailed away into the night. On another note, a blue car in the neighboring parking lot managed to find a football lobbed onto its hood; that was probably one unlucky fan who went home doubly upset. But that wasn't the only chance of the evening, as Ben Zec (another Albrecht FC faithful) had a clear shot on goal that Kim Jiwun managed to deftly handle, before slipping the punt out to feet of a grateful David Spooner, who simply returned the favor by punting the ball out of the stadium (a duck in a neighboring pond in the park became the latest victim, so I heard). And if that wasn't enough, a tense midfield battle saw Yi Yangmin play off Kortsarian for control over the ball. While the elder Kortsarian managed to win the ball, Yi fought back to slip the ball out into the stands. At that moment, a man selling something (beer, merchandise, I don't know what it was, it was clear across the stadium...) spilled whatever it was that he was selling, making a customer rather upset that he had whatever it was that was being sold spilled all over him (I think it was beer...). The guy tried to punch him, but overdrew his punch, hitting his elbow on some chap holding the fireworks (are fireworks even allowed in the stadium?!?). Needless to say, when Kim Daeeui caught his goal just moments latter, there was a wild fireworks display that accompanied it. I can't guess at how many people were injured in the display, but the smoke covered the field almost instantly after the goal, meaning the game was held back for five minutes while the stadium managers tried to deal with the problems. And that was it. Game over.

For the Han, it was a bittersweet reaction, especially for Kim Daeeui, who scored the winning goal. "I feel really bad for the Candelarisian fans. But this is a big competition. Even we knocked them back to 4th position, I'm confident that the Blues will have the confidence to bump back into qualification and join us in the World Cup. They certainly have the talent and the skill." Ioshido Toki didn't give his post-match remarks as usual, although standing captain Kim Yongji did remark that he was grateful for the clean play. "More especially to the officiating crew," he said. "The fact that the incidents were relatively few and well contained make me extremely glad that the game was played almost entirely by the skills of the player upon the field, rather than the influences of a third party. This is how football should be." Anyway, with that win, the Han are sitting comfortably in 1st position, with qualification in hand. That probably means even more chances for the subs on the roster, as Ioshido Toki prepares for the World Cup Finals. Unfortunately, the win knocks Candelaria And Marquez back into fourth, behind Cassadaigua and Taeshan by just one point. The good news? Candelaria And Marquez play Cassadaigua on their next fixture at home still, while Taeshan and Cassadaigua have a date set for the final match of qualification. Racking up at least 4 points in their next two matches should be plenty enough to see the Blues into the World Cup (and by jolly, let's hope they do).

Goal Tally
10 - Jeong Jihun
8 - Kim Mihyeon
4 - Kim Daeeui
2 - Baek Jihun, Yi Yeongpyo
1 - Pak Yongho, Shin Ganyak

The Academy of Foreign Affairs

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On Behalf of His Imperial Majesty, the Yeongmu Emperor,

We wish to clarify once more that the international English broadcasts provided by MBC International should not be confused as the official voice of the Imperial Government, either of the collective voice of the Imperial Assembly, the Imperial Cabinet, or the Emperor himself. Whereas the Han Empire reserves its opinions for certain countries based on their administrative managements - the manner and such - we do not actively broadcast these opinions on airways for the benefit of international scrutiny. Whereas the Han Empire does not explicitly censor the voices of its citizens as it once did in its history, we do cherish the liberties that our citizens invoke, that in the spirit of international dialogue, a sense of rational and reasonable ideological balance can be achieved, whereby the existing order is neither rejected nor condoned. We should seek to improve ourselves constantly, whether by passive or active measures.

In sum, the broadcasts pertaining to a matriarchal society should not be viewed as the official Han position for our government. Citizens are free to express and elicit their beliefs in non-violent manners that evoke positive discussion and debate; as far as the Imperial Government is aware, neither MBC International or its associated journalists seek to become the voice of the Imperial government as well. We are not writing this international message for the benefit of denying the opinions stated by MBC International as genuine opinions, but to state merely that the voices of individual citizens should not be perceived as the voice of the whole, and that we should as civilized kin respect these views. If there is any remaining doubt, let them come to us.

On an unrelated matter, His Imperial Majesty urges calm, focus, and restraint as foreign forces seek actively to intervene in destabilized countries in the world. When the surgeon seeks to repair a wound, he does not begin by making any additional wounds, but to consolidate those that do exist. Only when all other recourses have been exhausted and the temporal necessity urges for action should excessive force be used. If those commanded our avian brethren could relay this message, we would greatly appreciate this.

Count Han Seungsu
韓昇洙伯

干圖和馬憩共和國
간도와말게공화국
Republic of Candelaria And Marquez

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/foreign.png

On Behalf of His Imperial Majesty, the Yeongmu Emperor,

In the spirit of our outstanding ties, it is with belated tidings that I seek to offer an official exchange of embassies with the Republic of Candelaria And Marquez. I found it surprising that we have not yet traded embassies, despite our outstanding foreign ties - including extensive mutual economic exchanges occurring almost daily within the Republic. It seems quite foolish not to extend the same courtesies to our political exchanges. If the Republic of Candelaria And Marquez agree to this, we have already selected Prince Kim Seunghwan (金昇睆君|김승환군). As a reminder, all nobility titles are not indicative of noble birth, but of merit-earned positions that have been authorized to carry the non-heritable title in perpetuity. Hence, Prince Kim is not necessarily born from a noble family, but his actions warrant his election to the post and the accompanying rights with it. We hope that we can make a suitable exchange for the hospitality of his Candelaria And Marquezian counterpart.

Count Han Seungsu
韓昇洙伯

Greal

15-03-2009, 23:06

Greali World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Daehanjeiguk (2-2)
MD2: Greal VS Candelaria And Marquez (2-3)
MD3: Greal VS Mo Land 3 (4-0)
MD4: Greal VS Achtervolging (1-1)
MD5: Greal VS Cassadaigua (1-0)
MD6: Greal VS Taeshan (3-2)
MD7: Greal VS Albundania (3-1)
MD8: Greal VS Daehanjeiguk (0-2)
MD9: Greal VS Candelaria And Marquez (1-4)
MD10: Greal VS Mo Land 3 (4-1)
MD11: Greal VS Achtervolging (1-0)
MD12: Greal VS Cassadaigua (2-2)
MD13: Greal VS Taeshan
MD14: Greal VS Albundania

Greal VS Taeshan Preview

The last time the Greali played was earlier in the WC45 qualifying stage and the Greali won narrow 3-2. Now we're in the last stages and today's match will be very crucial. Taeshan is the higher ranked team, but beating higher ranked teams is not uncommon. Many in Greal was hoping for a win following the "disappointment" with the match against Cassadaigua. The hype has continued to build, and with today's match, the Greali team hope to satisfy the public. Coach Ross Trent said in his daily interview that the last two matches will determine who will qualify for the final two spots, out of the four teams neck-to-neck. Greal will play with standard formation against Taeshan.

In other matches...

Candelaria And Marquez and Cassadaigua will be playing each other today. This is one of the crucial matches...

Unfortunately for Mo Land 3, they play The Han Empire.

Achtervolging plays Albundania.

----------------------------------------------------

"The same bar again, I swear the crowd has tripled while we were standing here, so lets go grab our reserved table." said Ross to the guys behind him.

The place was indeed packed. Many Greali were watching the TV for updates on today's game against Taeshan.

"Here, I'll order us some drinks." said Brian.

"I don't want any." said Fred.

"Me neither." said Ethan.

"I'll have a beer." said Roger.

"Me too." said Ross.

"You would think there would be silence, its really loud in here." said Roger, looking at the surrounding tables.

"Everyone is cheering their favorite player. We all know who their favorite team is."

"Here are our drinks." said Brian, returning with beer bottles and other things.

"Thanks." said Ross, "I owe you three bucks?"

"Keep the money. Its my treat today."

"Thanks Brian." said Roger, taking his beer from the tray.

"You think we stand a chance in winning?" asked Fred to the group.

"Yes." said Ross without hesitation.

"Previews are finally starting." remarked Ethan

Cafundeu

15-03-2009, 23:20

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 45 - the qualifiers - full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião (from TV coverage)

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FAST AND OFFENSIVE GAME ENDS WITH A SOUR TASTE FOR CAFUNDÉU

In the game against Sarzonia, valid for the World Cup 45 qualifiers – Group 8, most people already considered this a victory for the Monopolists. Sarzonia’s whole history in World Cups seemed to be forgotten by many football experts, and they considered Cafundéu the favourite team to get the victory home. But, although Cafundéu can be seen as one of the “teams of the moment”, with intense media exposure and fame worldwide, this doesn’t win games, and the Cafundelense team learnt this (once again!) today, when they were surprised by an excellent second half of the Stars. Results like these, when the team fails to control a game when everything seems to be going well, are hard to swallow, but can show the team something to change in the future. The Monopolists continue well in the qualifiers, in second place in the group, but with qualification assured.

THE GAME: the game started... well, like any other football game. Passes, shots, complaints, supporters screaming, whistles... but this didn’t take long, as soon there was some actual action in the game. Kardec seemed to be out of the game, maybe because what he likes was in the limo that brought him to the stadium, and he was unable to stop Zack Wilson’s shot, which happened before the tenth minute of the game and gave Sarzonia the lead. Such an adversity in this point of the game makes a man take things over. Hubert was the one that took the responsibility of starting the Cafundelense reaction, although it took some time for the Monopolists to score. But, in the end, Hubert was responsible for scoring the first two goals of Cafundéu in the game and, before the end of the first half, Marossi completed with the third goal, giving the Monopolists a good advantage.

In the second half, it seemed that Cafundéu would be able to maintain the advantage of the first half, but Sarzonia seemed ready to transform things. With fast and intelligent plays, surprised the Cafundelenses who seemed more relaxed in the game, and thanks to this were able to get a very good draw. Nichols was the first one to score in the second half. After some minutes, Lynch seemed ready to score the goal that would put things even. Datena tried to take the ball, but failed. So, Kardec was the one responsible for stopping Lynch. Unfortunately, he stopped him with a foul. Penalty kick, and goal scored by Nichols again. Many supporters started to blame Kardec for the result, asking that what he should get is no tomorrow in the National Team. Although the supporters weren’t wanting this draw, it wasn’t a bad result at all, and Cafundéu continues strong in the qualifiers.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT (Marossi’s goal): “Ball to the arrrrrrrea, the defence of Sarrrrrrrzonia clearrrrrrrs the danger with a nice header by Davis, the ball falls back to the entrrrrrrrance of the arrrrrrrea to Marrrrrrrossi... hits it one-time, marrrrrrrvellous shot... goal! Look at this goal, look at this goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! A goal that must be seen again in a rrrrreplay! Incrrrrredible shot by Marrrrrrrossi! Marrrrrossi, number ten! And now the rrrrresult is Cafundéu thrrrrree, Sarrrrrzonia one! Therrrrrrre arrrrre some moments in your life when what you need you have to borrrrrrow... but don’t worrrrrry, for these moments you have the loan options frrrrrrom Banco Econômico! You’ll be surrrrrrprrrrrised with how much you can get with a loan, and also how much you’ll have to pay as interest rrrrrrates when rrrrrrepaying the debt!”

INTERVIEWS, WITH JORGE LANG: well, well, surely the way that this result came wasn’t what the Cafundelenses wanted, but this result wasn’t disappointing, I would say. Saying it again, it is more the way it happened than the result itself. And the coach David Nefasto seemed to agree with me, as he said on the interview: “Without counting all our wins, maybe this was our best game in these qualifiers... of course this means this game was only better than two, but I think it’s better to think of the positive side than the negative...” The captain of the team Anatoliy Titov commented: “When the game started, it seemed Sarzonia would end with the victory. When the first half ended, it seemed Cafundéu would end with the victory. Maybe in the end the draw was the fairest result.” We must also remind that Cafundéu still didn’t lose a single game in the qualifiers.

SARZONIA 3x3 CAFUNDÉU

Place: Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium, Woodstock.
Attendance: 88,920 people.
Time: 17:00 Cafundelense time (19:00 local time).
Climate: clear, 26ºC.
Referee: Ted Lockaps (Taeshan).
Assistants: Arwin Monroe (Qazox) and Mike Batterfield (Qazox).
POTM: Hubert (Cafundéu).

SARZONIA: Taylor; Davis, Hicks, Philyaw and Crosley; Morrison, Grover (Rodney 65’), Salivani (Weston 65’) and Bocanegro (Nichols 45’); Z.Wilson and Lynch.
Coach: Brian Wilson (Sarzonia).

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cícero, Renildo, Titov and Datena; Silveira, Jules (Juninho 80’), Serrano (Paquetá 73’) and Marossi; Alves (Nando 45’) and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Goals:SAR: Z.Wilson 6’ , Nichols 52’/67’.
CAF: Hubert 20’/23’ , Marossi 41’.

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WORLD CUP 42 - GLOBO MULTIMEDIA'S ARCHIVE
World Cup 42 Overview

"Here are we, one magical moment, such is the stuff... the World Cup returned to Cafundéu, and we were able to see sixteen of the best thirty-two countries in the world battling for the World Cup title here in our country. During the most important football competition of the world, dreams are woven, others shattered... each game is crucial for each team involved. For the National Teams involved, there are you, drive like a demon from station to station, city to city, stage to stage of the World Cup, until we reach today's phase: the World Cup final. Here in Lasft, in the Obelisco Monumental, the final game of World Cup forty-two will be played, involving Valanora and Zwangzug. All the other thirty teams have been eliminated, including both hosts Cafundéu and Septentrionia. For the Monopolists, this time coached by Eduardo Bosschaart, they got to keep searching and searching for at least a semifinal appearance in the World Cup."

"Cafundéu's campaign started with a good, although not sensational, performance in the group stage, with a group involving also The Holy Empire, Ad'ihan and Kelssek. Qualified for the Second Round, the Monopolists were able to defeat Sorthern Northland in a very controversial game, in which players of the opponent team were arrested just before the match. After that, the team went to face Bostopia... I remember that day exactly, I was at home... I didn't know what time it was the lights were low, and I had just woken up. I leaned back on my radio, and started hearing the comments of a football game. Suddenly I remembered Cafundéu was going to play Bostopia... then I turned off the radio and ran to the living room... I switched on the tv, thinking "I may pick it up on Globo Multimedia"... and there it was, the World Cup game... Cafundéu losing against Bostopia. The coach Eduardo Bosschaaart was desperate, trying to adjust the team to react, while the Bostopia team was under control of the game, already preparing to go to the Semifinals... and that's what happened, with this loss putting us out of the World Cup."

"During the whole game my neighbours have been singing, excited and expecting Cafundéu to advance to the next stage of the World Cup. When the game ended, the loud sound did seem to fade, but not for long... the happiness gave space to the sadness, and I could hear my neighbours crying. I walked on the streets, everything was quiet. As a reporter, it was time for me to go to work, to write something about Cafundéu's loss to Bostopia... it was too late to be hateful, I had work to do. There, I planned the interview with coach Eduardo Bosschaart, but minutes ago I received a note saying that he'd like to come and meet us, but he unfortunately can't. Of course he is running away... the World Cup will soon end, as soon as Valanora controls the result they have built so far over Zwangzug, and maybe the Cafundelenses will forget this loss and only remember the good things Bosschaart did."

Terreiro de Ogum

16-03-2009, 00:26

BLIND MAGICIAN - "We are alternating the third position with Yafalonia and Bazor two right now... this is not a comfortable situation."

ÍRIS - "But the positive side of this is that we have pretty good qualification chances..."

MESTRE KACET - "And the negative is that it'll be probably only in the last round that we'll discover if we'll really qualify or not."

ZECA DA PONTE - "And, as this World Cup qualifiers is the most important of our team's history, giving the circumstances, I say this is a really cruel situation."

BLIND MAGICIAN - "Yes, it is. But, like Íris said, this means we have good chances of qualifying to this World Cup, and continue playing in the World Cup, so we'll have to work for this!"

PAI BERTO - "You're right. We have to play very well to guarantee that they won't take our place. We are better than them, and at least we have a proper coach, not a ball."

GASPAR - (entering) "I heard that."

TRAMÓIA - "You again!"

BIBAH - "This couldn't be a worst surprise!"

GASPAR - "I see you are doing well in this battle for the qualification... good effort, although I am almost sure it all will be meaningless in the end... just imagine you losing the qualification in the last round, and having to abandon the World Cup for our return!"

TOQUINHO - "And what makes you so sure that we will fail?"

GASPAR - "Well... (points to the ball) Pascal told me that."

PAI BERTO - "Ah, the ball again. Your super-coach, isn't it?"

GASPAR - "Yes, he is, and he'll prove it to you when we return to the World Cup... The Machine was nothing compared to Pascal, its creator. He has all the knowledge necessary to give a team success!"

DONA ROSA - "Okay, then... and why do you believe you'll return to football now? What did this ball told you?"

GASPAR - "Well... some time ago, Pascal made a visit here, alone..."

BLIND MAGICIAN - "Oh, yes, I remember that well... this ball invaded my room through the window and then rolled over my notes... we tried to get it, but it left."

GASPAR - "Yes... pretty interesting your notes, by the way?"

MESTRE KACET - "So, that's it. That ball really was able to memorize what was written on the notes only by rolling over them."

BLIND MAGICIAN - "I can't believe it!"

GASPAR - "But you should. Soon after Pascal read all your tactics and strategies, he returned home to tell me them... I must say I am impressed... by your lack of football knowledge."

ÍRIS - "What?"

GASPAR - "Those notes were so ridiculous... so each matchday is destined to the homage of one of your Orixás, and it is this Orixá that will give your players strength for the game? So, your game strategy consist of making the right rituals to the right Orixá in the right matchday? I laughed a lot!"

PAI ÁFRICA - "You shouldn't laugh about the Orixás! They are the supreme power, and one day you'll pay for making fun of them!"

GASPAR - "Oh, well, so nevermind. Anyway, you can be calm, as I didn't tell anyone about your tactics... they were so ridiculous that it wouldn't worth to show them to your opponents... I bet you'll end losing anyway."

MESTRE KACET - "You'll have to wait to see if this will really happen."

GASPAR - "True. I'll be waiting for this. Now, I'll have to go to a meeting with our president, Professor Homero. It was nice to talk to you again."

New Manhattan

16-03-2009, 00:31

Matchday 13 results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14605667&postcount=16) are now up.

Jeru FC

16-03-2009, 00:32

Jeruselem Government News

Cannons need fire up

After beating the Elves 1-0 at home, Jeru FC have two draws. The main weak point of Jeru FC is their offense. While having the 3rd best defense in Group 4, conceding 10 goals in 12 games - they've only scored 16. Jeruselem who just qualified again, show what should be done scoring 23 goals and conceding 8.

The coach of Jeru FC said
"Our offense has never fired really. We can defend but we just can't score enough goals. We'd have less draws if we scored a few more goals and even win more games. We've not giving up, we need to win the next two games. We should have qualified by now if we had got an extra win or two but due to our inability to score, it hasn't happened. The kids are trying but they have trouble putting away that winning goal. I can't teach the team how to score goals, it's something you must learn. I can teach how to get to the goal, but it's up to them to finish off the goal. I wish I had the Jeruselem team's killer scoring instinct. They can score when needed, we can't."

Should Jeru FC manage two wins, they should scrape into the finals. Anything less, puts their destiny in the hands of the other teams. We hope the Elves trash the opposition, and if the Cannons get enough points - they should make it. We have four teams fighting for two spots with the turks in 2nd, one win ahead of 3rd and 4th (Jeru FC). 5th is Secristan who need two wins and nothing less as they are 1 win out of 4th.

Should Jeru FC get 4 points, it could be just enough. 3 points would put them on 23 points but we think it's not enough as the other two teams other than Secristan could do better and pip our Cannons out.

In other news, Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas is retiring from the Jeruselem FA Presidency. Her daughter Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas is taking over. Jacinta used to work in the Jeruselem FA as a secretary and has a lot of contacts in the football world. Dazza is retiring to take care of grandkids and make more money for her business.

The Jeruselem FA Vice-President said
"Jacinta is no dummy. She's not as noisy as say Kate or Marie, but she does things her way. She's a hard worker and well, she's a Jew. All the Jews I know are clever people who know they are doing. You'll find she'll do things quietly, compared to Marie who's a bit more public."

Jacinta Dallas is the product of a Jeru FC player and Dazza Dallas, so for Jeru FC fans - it's good news with one their own becoming Jeruselem FA President.

OOC - Missed by that much ...

Sarzonia

16-03-2009, 02:26

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars wrap up home schedule with win

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

Sarzonia have picked an interesting time to embark upon a two-match winning streak.

Their chances at qualifying for World Cup XLV have gone, but the Stars have taken to their role of playing for pride. They earned a little bit of it in their final home fixture of World Cup XLV qualifying by defeating unranked Noásahi 3-0 in front of 71,236 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium.

Matt Lynch, Reese Nichols and Zack Wilson all found the net for the Stars (5-3-5, 18 points, fifth place Group 8), who play their final World Cup qualifying match at Terreiro de Ogum. Lynch said the team still planned to play as if the World Cup finals were at stake.

"Absolutely," he said. "They still have a chance to advance, but they need to defeat us to do it. We want to go out there and take something to build on into World Cup XLVI."

When asked if the Stars would accept a berth in the Cup of Harmony if invited, Lynch demurred, saying it was not his decision. The man who would be expected to make that decision, manager Brian Wilson said he would consult with the coaching staff and make the determination.

However, a source familiar with the team's thinking said it would be "a major surprise" if the Stars declined an appearance in the Cup of Harmony.

"International competition can only benefit us," said the source, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the team had not been invited to the Cup of Harmony by the time The Daily Mail went to press. "If the organisers believe we're deserving of a place in the Cup of Harmony, we'll be fools to decline."

Brian Wilson addressed the applications the Incorporated Football Federation has received so far for the managerial job he is vacating. He said three internal candidates have emerged, but four international candidates have also expressed interest in the position.

"We had planned to be done with the process by the time World Cup qualifying was finished," he said. "However, with the number of strong candidates that has emerged, we'll be evaluating each one carefully."

One source familiar with the search process said two-time former Cadundéu national team manager Franz Braddock was en route to Woodstock to conduct an interview with IFF chairman Dave Wilson. However, a spokesman for Dave Wilson declined to comment.

One factor that would work against Braddock's candidacy is his age (83), which makes him two years older than Dave Wilson. However, a source said Braddock's credentials were "too strong to ignore."

"You have someone who led Cafundéu to the World Cup finals in his first attempt, in the team's first attempt," the source said. "If I know Dave Wilson like I think I do, that's going to override any concerns about the man's age."

Another possible drawback for Braddock's candidacy is where that would leave top Sarzonian coaching prospects Brett Hancock and Kevin Wilson. Hancock, the Under 21 national team manager, led the Stars to a AOCAF XII championship and the Junior Stars to the title in the eighth Di Bradini Cup. Kevin Wilson, younger brother of Brian Wilson and the uncle of forward Zack Wilson, is considered by many to be another future national team manager.

"That's something the national team will have to work out if they pick Braddock," the source said. "I'm sure that's weighing on their mind, but they're very interested in Braddock's credentials. As for concerns that Braddock's system may be outmoded, the source said that wasn't necessarily a concern.

"Good football is good football," the source said. "Dave Wilson believes that, and if he believes Braddock is the best choice for the team, that may very well mean Braddock will be the next coach of Sarzonia.

Taeshan

16-03-2009, 03:59

Purple Knights Tie Greal

It seems that yet again the Knights have fallen back to there old ways of football. In the past year they have turned into a team that wins, but also loses but only a small amount. When they first started the team was a team that could never seal the deal they failed to score enough every day to pull out the win. Yet again they can not do it as much as they needed to at this stage in the year where they need all the wins and as many points as possible at least they got a point.

Seriosuly this is a game that really no one needs a match report about. It was tied 0-0 come on you need anything else.

Kosovoe

16-03-2009, 04:10

Blue Tornado Defeat Wabbits

In the Penultimate game of the year the Blue Tornado defeated the squad from Invisible Wabbits 2-1. The Tornado are now just to points behind Bears Armed and with the final game against the Bears it should be a great final matchday for the Tornado to hopefully whoo the world with a win. They need anything possible to win this game and yes it will be very exciting.

The Tornaod easily whiped away the younger Invisible Wabbits team of course the Wabbits are another one of those many protectorate sides and the Tornado took yet another award away from them. The team led by Angel Kenssington who scored one of the goals whiped out the young squad. The other goal was scored by Ossi Euro on Jamie Barry's second assist of the year. More coverage of the Bears armed game will come tommorrow.

Qazox

16-03-2009, 04:25

Saint Nash Courier
If you haven't heard it before, It's News to you!
SPORTS
A Lucky Thirteen for Qazox?

With a World Cup berth all but assured, Raul de Olivares sat out most of the starters in a 3-0 win over Bushdome that clinched an 11th consecutive World Cup berth for Qazox. Audra Edelstein started it off in the 25th minute, with her 3rd goal in as many games, Bobby Cacho added a goal in the 52nd and Deana Kuhlman scored her first in the 72nd minute.

13. Most people have a fear of the number 13. In Qazox, 13 is the luckiest number, though we don't know why. Hopefully the 13th time is the charm for Qazox as they now will travel to Demot or Capitalizt SLANI for the group stages.

Scoring Summary:
Qazox:
Audra Edelstein (3)- 25'
Bobby Cacho (2)- 52'
Deana Kuhlman- 72'

Bushdome:
None

Green wombat

16-03-2009, 04:52

Hellispont Times-Herald
Get used to Allemenschen...

Once again, the Wombats blew a chance to escape with a tie, losing on a 82nd minute goal by Krytenia's Darren Scotland.

So the wombats failed once again to make the World Cup.

Fittingly, the team's final game is against Allemenschen, who are the favorites to host the Cup of Harmony.

This marks the 5th straight failure to qualify for Green Wombat.

Prux

16-03-2009, 05:05

Prux@WC45.com
Streak Stopped by Septentrionia

A freaky own goal scored by Smokey the Bear, on a Septentrionian corner kick in the 64th minute was the difference as Prux' 9 game unbeaten streak came to an end. The loss allowed Septentrionia to clinch a World Cup berth, but more importantly allowed Milchama to clinch the Group Title.

Mr. Whipple has stated that in the next home game, against Arroza, the reserves will play most of the match, as most of the regulars have had little time off.

Prux World Cup 45 Qualifying Schedule:

(All 1st half matches were played at a baseball field: McCoy Stadium in Pawtucket, capacity 21,963.)
(all 2nd half Home Matches to be played the Griffin Stadium in Pawtucket, Prux, Capacity 67,500.)
@ Ierissos D 1-1
vs. Rymeria W 5-3
@ Milchama L 1-2
vs. Govindia W 6-1
@ Akbarabad W 2-0
vs. Septentrionia W 4-3
@ Arroza W 2-0
vs. Ierissos W 1-0
@ Rymeria W 1-0
vs. Milchama D 2-2
@ Govindia W 5-1
vs. Akbarabad W 1-0
@ Septentrionia L 0-1
vs. Arroza
(RECORD 9-2-2)

Due losing a legal challenge, the Meet a Pruxian feature has been permanently discontinued.
(ooc: A hint, All the pics I used from MD 3-10 have exactly ONE thing in common, which is related to each set of pics. None of the pictures used have anything directly in common with the pics from the next day.)

Dancougar

16-03-2009, 07:16

Dancougar News!!
Seriously, PIT is the only airport with a rational layout.

Bear-Belles baffled by Black Wing breakthrough: Shigeru Takeuchi could only smile after his team's 2-1 victory away to Bears Armed, bringing Dancougar to 30 points and ensuring that only Qazox could top them in the league standings. The black marks on their record - a horrendous home loss to the Phoenix and three goalless draws in winnable games - easily distracted the detractors from Dancougar's patient climb in the group six standings.

"Here I am, back from the dead," Takeuchi joked when asked if his job was now safe. "We have had our ups and downs, but one thing we've been is resilient. I think that loss was good for us. We learned something very important about what we were and what we weren't." Since then, the Wings have given up four goals in twelve games and haven't lost once, and that includes a five-game road trip.

Most importantly, they beat all of the teams that were their chief obstacles to qualification - and ahead of them in the standings at one point. Bears Armed were the last to fall, at Plumtrees Park, with the Wings employing many of the same tactics they did in the home victory in order to retain Ye Olde Baptifm of Fire Merchandife, or "Shirt on Stick." Luke Brengle was unable to duplicate the clean sheet he'd earned in the opening match, but he did make several key saves to preserve the victory.

In the first match, the Wings resorted to cheap fouls to keep the Bears from getting any passes into the danger zone. They'd push and bump with full knowledge that it would do no harm to their opponents but just draw the whistle from the referee. At first, they thought it would work again. But the referees this time were playing advantage much more liberally, noting that if the contact did not actually impede the Belles' motion, there was no need to stop play. Furthermore, on occasions when the whistle did blow, the Wings were surprised to learn that the Belles had learned a few tricks in the air.

"They didn't need to worry about being unable to really jump up for those balls," said defender Joseph Cecilia, who found himself hopelessly outmatched inside the box. "But they knew we couldn't get as high as they could stand. All they had to do was stand at the right time and hope the accuracy was there. And they improved it a lot from the first game."

So Brengle found himself under attack for the first twenty minutes, as the bears on the field and in the stands attempted to launch an all-out verbal assault to unnerve him. But he showed nerves of steel against an early Harroya o Redwood header. He seemed surprised by the attempt, but despite her size, Redwood nodded it towards the top corner and forced a panicked jump from Brengle to tip it wide. The barrage continued and he saved twice more.

Dancougar grabbed the lead in the 24th when they got the counterattack they wanted. Christian Chojnacki predicted and intercepted a square ball and pushed it upfield to Augustine Dennin, who chipped it over defender Urratharra o Strongpaw and took off as fast as he could run. He accelerated past Strongpaw, who turned as fast as she could and didn't take much longer to build up a head of steam, and got to the ball first. With a quick motion, he fired it across his both and caught Charra o Barrdenn in a bad position. She made a late attempt to swat it clear but it slipped into the net.

But it didn't take ten minutes for the Belles to reply. Karramarsar Sarra showed off the Belles' new aerial arsenal by hitting a cross for her twin sister, Karra. Cecilia leaped fruitlessly for the ball but it was Karra who stood at the right moment to nod it down between Brengle's legs. This time, Brengle reacted late and could do nothing to keep it out. The equalizer ensured that the crowd remained in the match throughout the halftime interval.

"The locker room was shaking from all the commotion in the stadium," said Lyle Dylandy. "That was a bit unnerving."

The team didn't show it, though. Five minutes into the second half, Dylandy nearly gave his team the lead with a dangerous corner kick. The Belle defenders misjudged the curl of the ball and gave captain Alexei Voronzoff a chance to get his head on it. He blasted it into the post for Strongpaw to clear. The Wings continued to push for the go-ahead goal and their patience paid off in minute 52. This time, it was Stefan Rosberg who was the recipient of Dylandy's charity. He converted a low pass into a goal by banking a shot off Urra SunBlessed past the surprised Barrdenn.

"I have to say, it's hard to shoot through a wall of bears, but I figured I could use all that size to my advantage," said Rosberg. "Their catch-up speed was better from the first game, so I didn't get a lot of space to run in. So I had to get tricky. I figured they don't have a quick one-eighty time, so I practiced banking off a tackling dummy in case I caught one with her back to goal."

The Belles, though, had plenty of time to find an equalizer. The Wings continued to attack for the next fifteen minutes or so, but eventually Takeuchi made defensive substitutes and seemingly announced an intention to sit on the lead. This inspired the Belles to go forward even more aggressively. This was where Dwayne Landro's contributions to the defense really stood out. Landro occasionally pops in goals for Shuukyuu Kishin but has never played a real attacking role with the national team. Rather than speak out for more chances, he's taken that role in stride. Landro proved to be a capable fourth defender until Casey Berber was subbed onto the field, including a goal-line clearance on a Belle corner.

Brengle made two more big saves in the final ten minutes as the Belles threw everyone forward in an effort to salvage a point. At this point, Rosberg was the only man forward for the Wings, so they were comfortable that the visitors would not produce another scoring chance. It almost led to a third goal for Dancougar. Brengle punched an Ulga WestWalker shot into the feet of Matt Bogart, who scrambled to kick it out of his third. Rosberg was able to turn nothing into a breakout by one-timing the ball past Borrinna o HighPeaks. He attempted a lob shot over Barrdenn but it sailed out of play.

"I rushed the shot, but I felt like it did enough to break their rhythm," said Rosberg. "They had us pinned and we had to do something to keep them honest on defense."

Dancougar, assured of a World Cup berth, closes qualifying at home to the McLaughlin Islands before hitting the road for friendlies against Bears Armed and Cassadaigua.

Wings reach for reserves against McLaughlins: Shigeru Takeuchi has played a fairly stable lineup for all of qualifying, which was probably the key reason that the team was able to build the kind of momentum they needed to survive a five-game road trip and surge from fourth to first in the group. While it's important to get lots of players a chance to play a full international, a tight-knit bunch that can pull through a tight spot is even more valuable.

With one game left on the schedule and two friendlies yet to be played, Takeuchi seems to have some flexibility. The plan is to use these final three games to determine who will travel with the top eleven to the World Cup as part of the final twenty-three player roster. Of the usual substitutes, only Hiroshi Kaizuka and Hiromasa Nagasawa seem to be in danger of missing out. Karen Stadler and Casey Berber are all but assured of a spot.

"I'd like to say all of the roster spots are open for competition, but realistically, there's only a few question marks in my mind that I hope these games will resolve," said Takeuchi.

The Wings drew the McLaughlin Islands 0-0 away in their first match, a fantastic result for the newcomers that left Takeuchi wondering if his team was capable of reaching the final thirty two. But this is a different Dancougar - since then they've won five, drawn once, and more than doubled their scoring total. Nevertheless, Takeuchi isn't expecting a dominant performance.

"The lineup is going to be different, so our team character is going to be different as well," said Takeuchi. "It's asking a lot, to compete with each other and still perform well as a team, but I'm sure they knew what's important and will play accordingly."

Starting XI: Komarov; Berber, Edrington, Heath, Sakuraba; Kaizuka, Klingensmith, McNespy, Voronzoff; Garbett, Nagasawa
Substitutes: Vaccarino; Cecilia, Wolford; Landro, Hayashi, Taketomo; Stadler

Secristan

16-03-2009, 09:11

MILLIONAIRES HAVE A SHOT

With one matchday left, the Millionaires have a chance to qualify for the World Cup, and it’s not one of those crazy off-the-wall scenarios, either. First, Secristan must defeat Forn Parts at home, then Logria must defeat Jeru FC in Jeruselem. The Millionaires will be favored over the Raging Penguins, but it would be an upset if Logria won their match. Don’t rule out the upset, however, as Jeru FC has struggled recently to get points, making this opportunity possible. Since shocking Valanora, they have drawn their next three to open up the door for us, and perhaps even Koseli Cumheriyetler. Even a draw in that match would send the Millionaires into third place with a win. Secristan will have the tiebreaker over Koseli Cumheriyetler due to two victories against them, including last night’s huge 1-0 away victory. Forn Parts has only won once during qualifying, and the disappointing Penguins, who came here with a lot of hype, appear to be a team that we should be able to beat. Logria getting a point against Jeru FC is a longshot, but they have played reasonably well at times. Forward James Rogan is very optimistic that things will work out, “I feel good about it. The pressure is on Jeru FC, and Logria may be able to get a point there for us. We have to take care of business on our end, which I believe we will. After the big win over Koseli C, we have confidence. The Penguins got a big result for us in drawing Jeru FC to give us this chance, and we will do our part.”

The Secristan Department of Sports, which recently announced a plan to work with Newmanistan and attempt to host Cup of Harmony 37, will be hoping that the nation does not go to that tournament that there would-be co-host is already destined too. Due to the importance of the game, purchases of the pay-per-view telecast have more then doubled what the original expectation for the match was at the beginning of qualifying. Additionally, the SDOS plans to air a feed of the Jeru FC-Logria match via pay-per-view as well for just 25R. Katie Simpson, our SDOS rep tells us, “This is just what we envisioned. We have a chance to be the first team from One Big Island to qualify for the World Cup unless there was one a long time ago, and that would be an honor. Even some of the lower classes are getting excited about this. This is really what we needed. I hope that even if we did not qualify, that we would have done enough to re-energize the people over soccer.” This is also a big reason why the nation has decided to attempt to bring Cup of Harmony 37 to Secristan. “The Cup of Harmony coming here would be a big boost to our country. To see the passion that the fan bases who would come here would really make our nation appreciate the sport more. It also has the potential to be a significant revenue earner for the country.”

Greal

16-03-2009, 09:16

Cassadaigua

16-03-2009, 16:58

Courtney’s Space

The nightmare started and it never stopped. Well, it stopped after ninety minutes even though it felt more like ninety hours. For the first time, we surrendered a goal in the first minute. David Spooner with the strike and right away the Big Blues sent us a message that they were going to be on top form tonight. We tried to regroup. We still 89 minutes to go and could get that goal back. Then in the 6th minute, they scored again. More skillful passing, yadda yadda yadda. After that, we hurt ourselves by surrendering an own goal in the 11th minute, and suddenly we were three goals in the hole, but it couldn’t get any worse, right? Well it actually did. The Big Blues knew that they could clinch advancement if they were to beat us and they were outstanding, scoring the fourth goal in the 20th minute. Ten minutes later, we were down 5-nil. Coach Baynes decided then that keeper Rachel Terry had suffered enough and put in our back up keeper, Kristen Stockton. She did this so Rachel would not lose any confidence as the match got out of hand very quickly. We were not ourselves either. For whatever reason, we were simply not in sync and seemed to struggle to do much of anything. My goal in the 43rd minute was met with a sarcastic cheer from the Candelarian supporters. I can’t say that I would have done anything differently if I were in the stands. At halftime we all just had shocked looks on our faces with the way this game got so out of reach so quickly. Some of it was self-inflicted, and we just are not good enough to overcome that against a team like Candelaria And Marquez. In case they were worried about an amazing Cassadagan comeback, the Big Blues scored pretty quickly in the second half to go back up by five. In the 73rd minute, something happened for the first time. I was subbed for. Coach took me and Stacie Kerrigan out with her final two substitutions for the same reason she took out Rachel, she just didn’t want to use up knowing that we still would have one very important game to go. Jessica Keeley made the most of her time by scoring in the 84th minute, which again got the sarcastic cheer. A complete disaster. We did play Meghan Burns tonight, recovering from her injuries, and immediately the reporters asked us after the same if we felt we rushed her back into the lineup. I do not really think that we did. Jennifer Lowry missed the game, but will be back for the Taeshan contest.

Group 2 comes down to the last matchday right here in Concord Heights between us and Taeshan. The winner of the match will qualify for the World Cup. We will put this nightmare against the Big Blues aside and be ready for Taeshan. Should we draw with them, it will not be enough, because Greal would pass us with a win. You can book that win for Greal now. They are playing 0-0-13 Albundania. But even if we did draw and somehow Greal did not win that match, Taeshan would still advance as they are presently a point ahead of us. It must be a win. The team would like to request that everyone wear white in the stands for our big game, and you will be handed a rally towel as you enter. If you are going to the game, be as loud as you can possibly be in support of us. We will feed off your energy and we know that you will provide a lot of it. MEN (Male Equality Now) has promised that they will not stage any protests at our game, knowing the importance of it. They seemed to be pleased with the fact that the hockey roster that we announced for the upcoming World Cup of Hockey included men. That is a good step in the right direction in getting a unified Cassadaigua between women and men. Let’s show that unification in the stands for the Taeshan match! We will give you everything we have out there!

Akbarabad

16-03-2009, 17:41

Akbarabad end campaign with inept defeat.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): Akbarabad's world cup qualifying campaign which began with such promise has ended with an inpet and embaressing 3-1 away defeat to Arroza. The team failed to raise their game when it really mattered and crumbled in the big matches. All that is left is a dead rubber match against Rymeria to play out.

Taeshan

16-03-2009, 20:42

Civil War Emminent

Taeshan is at a oint were order is now not a common thing. The Communist leaders have led the country into a literary rut. A depression is begining as many jobs have been cut to make way to pay the many taxes the governement has set up to pay bills for unknown ucorances such as 2o million for Private Quaters Activities whatever that means. Evermore this is a time of great need and many others have offered to help the Capitalists in Taeshan overthrow the leader Kazzy Tre' Williams and his band of men who are running the boat that is Taeshan aground. The leader of the Taeshan Lesser Islands Capitalist Mike Shoenent has been rumored to be meeting with many military leaders in the world on this matter. Soon we may all be saved from this opression.

Up next for the Knights is the big final game that shall deciude there fate. The question is will the World Cup be in our future or will another Cup Of Harmony/Shame be in order. The Knights have been laughed at before for there horrible playing when it counts and now is not the time to do it again. They need a win to assure qualification against Cassadaigua or there is the possibility that Greal could win and tie them and would ultimately win out on Head to Head.

Kosovoe

16-03-2009, 20:49

Bears To Decide Fate

It has come. Day 14 and the final match of the World Cup 45 Qualifying Stage. 2 Points stand between the Blue Tornado and Qualification. Thos Two Points take you up to current 3rd Place team Bears Armed. Two lousy points the Tornado cou;ld have made up by beating either the Mclaughin Islands or Bushdome. 6 Lost points in a year is never that gould when your team is serious about winning. They needed those points and with them they would have known there fate after beating the Invisible Wabbits. Now due to there insolence the Tornado need to beat the very same team that stands in there way. Two words, 10 little letters in there name. A race of unhuman animals, BEARS ARMED.

Greal

16-03-2009, 22:48

Greali World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Daehanjeiguk (2-2)
MD2: Greal VS Candelaria And Marquez (2-3)
MD3: Greal VS Mo Land 3 (4-0)
MD4: Greal VS Achtervolging (1-1)
MD5: Greal VS Cassadaigua (1-0)
MD6: Greal VS Taeshan (3-2)
MD7: Greal VS Albundania (3-1)
MD8: Greal VS Daehanjeiguk (0-2)
MD9: Greal VS Candelaria And Marquez (1-4)
MD10: Greal VS Mo Land 3 (4-1)
MD11: Greal VS Achtervolging (1-0)
MD12: Greal VS Cassadaigua (2-2)
MD13: Greal VS Taeshan (0-0)
MD14: Greal VS Albundania

Greal VS Albundania Preview

It is now the last matchday of the WC qualifying stages. Today, Greal will be playing Albundania, and they desperately need a win if they want to come out on top. Cassadaigua and Taeshan are playing each other today, and all three teams are hoping for a win. All the Greali can hope is Taeshan and Cassadaigua draw and Greal wins over Albundania and qualifies. Ross Trent says today's game will be hard, because Albundania will probably try to disappoint us very badly after losing thirteen times to all teams of the group. Television Service reports that the number of viewers may top 2 billion, which will be a new record if it does. Weather service reports sunny sky. Michael Istoma shall return once more having recovered from his injuries and will join the team in standard formation.

In other matches...

Taeshan and Cassadaigua will be playing each other today in a dramatic game.

The Han Empire will be playing Achtervolging.

Candelaria And Marquez will be playing against unfortunate Mo Land 3.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Today's the last day folks." said Ross to the assembled group before entering the house."If we qualify, lets do what our instincts will tell us."

Brian entered the house first with bags of beer packs.

"Great place Jeff." he remarked.

"Thanks Brian, you can put those over there." said Jeff, directing the group into the living room, which was right next to the kitchen.

Ethan and Brian helped passed out the bottles while Ross and jeff were working on the TV set. Finally it was on.

"Great. Lets do this." said Ross, grabbing his beer bottle.

"Its not even the previews yet." said Roger.

"That gives us a little time to chat. What are the chances we'll win this?" asked Ross to the group.

"Very high." spoke Ethan first.

"What are the chances that we'll win plus Taeshan and Cassadaigua drawing, allowing us to qualify?"

No one answered.

"It'll be very hard." he continued.

"Lets not get downhearted guys." said Fred, "The entire public is watching it tonight, so lets just enjoy the match."

"With those grim statistics in my thoughts." said Ross so quietly only Jeff barely heard him.

Elves Security Forces

16-03-2009, 22:49

Tempest Malthinda's hands were shaking as she approached the gates of the famed Raynor Mansion. She had heard stories of its' greatness and also tales of people who entered the mansion and never were seen from again. Despite the nervousness she felt, she stepped up to the intercom and hit the big green talk button.

"Hello, state your name and your business at the mansion."

"I am Tempest Malthinda, and I have desire a council with Tobias Raynor."

"Mam, your name is not on the appointment book. I'm sorry, but you will need to make an appointment and come back then."

"I did not walk a hundred miles to be turned away a hundred feet from the door. You will let me in."

"Mam, please not make us bring security out there an escort you off the grounds. Just call and make an appointment."

At that moment Tobias was escorting his good friend and Elune father General Duke out of the building after the two had lunch together. He noticed the commotion at the intercom room and went to investigate.

"What seems to be the problem here soldier?"

Startled by the sudden intrusion, the soldier took a second in responding to the former Great Leader.

"Oh, it's nothing sir. Just some lady demanding to have an audience with you. Says she has walked over a hundred miles to talk with you, but her name is not in the list of people with appointments or those who are authorized to enter the mansion without one."

"I see. Did you catch her name by chance?"

"Tempest I think it was. Not sure about her surname, sorry sir."

"I wonder... let her in soldier and escort her to my primary lounge. Provide her anything she desires until I meet with her."

Confused about the decision, but not one to disobey a direct order, the soldier pressed the button and the gates parted for the elderly elf. As she made her way down the gravel road, she gazed at the wonderful amount of plant life that the mansion grounds held. It was all soo wild and yet tame at the same time, a perfect symbol of the duality that the elves had hoped to create with their entire country. In the middle of it all stood the pearly white mansion, three stories tall and many many stories wide. It was a testament to the skill of the architects that had crafted it, as it was a gem of a building.

She was greeted by a single man in a military uniform at the door and escorted along the wooden floor to a lavish lounge room. The floor was wood panel like the entrance and hall way, but it was covered with a burgundy rug with gold trim. There were also two small couches as well as a single extra long couch, with a pair of recliners resting on either side of it. A badge ottoman was in front and in the center of each couch, easily seen to be the foot rests for an extra relaxing day.

The man in the uniform had asked if she wanted anything to eat or drink, but she politely declined, and insisted that Tobias make haste in meeting with her. He had assured her that Tobias would be there shortly, but cleverly took a look out into the hallway to see if the young master of the mansion was on his way. He smiled as the young elf was just outside the door with a pitcher of water and two glasses on a tray and dutifully opened the door for his superior. Tempest had began to stand, but he quickly begged her to remain seated as he placed the tray on the small glass table in the middle of the room and poured them both a glass of water. As he handed her her glass, he began to speak.

"I am glad you came Tempest, it has been far too long since you have graced this mansion. It's been over a thousand years has it not, and me just a wee lad? It's a shame that one's on Grandmother would not show up to visit her grandson more often."

"You know why that is, your grandfather wanted me to remain hidden from society. Stubborn man always thought that it would one day be the death of me, little did he know that they would try to take his life, not mine."

"His worry was well founded, as an attempt on his life there was. Need I remind you of what happened with the House of Angelotics? Once the head of the house is decimated, the rest of the pieces fall down like dominoes. It would have been the same with us, had Zeratul not had those precautions put in place that allowed me to take the seat.

Regardless, I am happy that you have come, but I do think it is an odd time for you to make such a visit. I presume there is a preface to this unusual delight?"

"Ever the one to be quick to business, and a sharp mind still you have. Yes, there is a reason I have broken my long absence and have made my way here. It is about Elune. As you are undoubtedly aware, the populace believes her to have forsaken them these past few months."

"I don't suppose you have evidence to the contrary do you? I would love nothing else than to quiet these fanatics on all sides of the issue. The stability and continued prosperity of the entire Commonwealth rests on being able to maintain order within the borders. These fanatics and their odd practices have put a threat to that, and I would love to squash it before another collapse becomes all too real."

"That I do, that I do. Everyone believes that Elune has cut off their connection to her people, and that the evidence inside the Godwell is proof. The fools have forgotten their history all too quickly. Elune, like all things inside this universe, changes with time. Sometimes the change is instantaneous, other times it is long like a metamorphosis. Yet, she always returns to her people after these changes. This has been another time of change, and she has returned, as evidenced by the Godwell's water returning back to it's perfect crystal clearness and the apathy of the citizens wearing off."

"Then how do you explain the lack of connection, their is no voice or image in the Havens for us to connect to. Where is your explanation for that?"

"For too long have the Temple preached the Warrior form of Elune, and not the Maiden, her first form. The priests and priestesses have interpreted only sections of her life and emphasized them until that was all that the populace knew about the Great Goddess. You, and the rest of the country, see her as a benevolent ruler and warrior, where in truth, she is more the caring mother. If you wish for further proof, just merely look out your window to your garden, there she stands, for you have been chosen to be her vessel, to carry on the faith as it was meant to be from here on it. Look at Elune's true form."

As he moved over to the window, slowly pulling back at the blinds, his eyes widened in amazement, as there stood Elune, but never as he had ever seen her before, or ever described. There she stood, looking at him with that knowing look, and he knew what Tempest said was the truth, though the implications of such he could not begin to wonder.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v637/chellote/Elune.gif

Come my child, bring the flock back home, and let the spirit of this country be reborn.

Yafalonia and Bazor 2

16-03-2009, 23:04

FAIL filing for Bankruptcy - looking for Govt Bailout

The sporting world of the confused identities as FAIL have filed for a Article 10, Section 9, Clause 3 Bankruptcy, being unable to maintain it's liquidity. Many wondering about despite the relative success of the team and the attendance of their matches.

FAIL are citing "exorbitant transportation charges" as the main cause of their financial woes but many are wondering just what the heck have FAIL been up to that could cause serious amount of money loss. Conjecture has been abounding whether the many perks supposed to be contained in his contract, the single ever largest contract in world football history are really the cause as it has been suggested that Miso will be flying in a personal jet funded by fail while the rest will be flying in Cheap Ass Class where there is literally no room for feet to Sorthern Nortland.

The Governments of Yafalonia and Bazor 2 will be conducting joint audits into the affair in an attempt to find out what really happened, however in the meantime due to the high chance that FAIL will actually proceed through qualification into the World Cup for the first time FAIL are campaigning for the governments to bail the organisation out to the tune of 30 million Yafs.
The government is said to be looking at the matter but it seems that capitalizt vs. communist forces in the government seem to have a hard time agreeing on a package. Communists say FAIL should be nationalised while the capitalists say that's stupid as Y&B2 are in fact 2 seperate nations and that FAIL covers both so it's stupid to nationalise a dual national company.

No one is sure of the exact situation yet, whether FAIL will live for a few more months or whether it will die a horrible death at the hands of it's own financial mismanagement.

Bostopia

16-03-2009, 23:13

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.pngOnline

BREAKING - WAR DECLARED

Civilians In Taeshan Advised To Seek Shelter

The Confederate States of the East and West Isles of Bostopia have today declared war on Taeshan. The Government made it clear that after consulting with leaders in the Empire, that the Empire will be staying neutral for the time being on the issue.

While not confirming whether the Bostopian Government had been in talks with Mike Shoenent, leader of the democratic forces in Taeshan, before declaring war on Taeshan, a source in the Ministry of Defence told the Daily Mail that Bostopia had been looking to engage with other nations to make a defiant stand against the slaughter of unarmed civilians.

From information on the ground in Taeshan, we are currently getting news that bombing of main military installations and buildings housing the occupiers of power has begun.

More news as it becomes available.

Daehanjeiguk

16-03-2009, 23:27

Krytenia

16-03-2009, 23:34

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Activate The 'Droyd
By Rami Niblick in Jhanna

THE Aces' preparations for tonight's final qualifier against Starblaydia hit a snag yesterday after Nasser Isserson pulled up in training. Isserson, a fifth-generation Krytenian international, has a muscle strain, and will not even make it to the bench.

It falles then, upon his understudy to make his first start in the cyan and white; the unusually named Gordon Ormondroyd. Born in the small town of Oustia, Ormondroyd has made his name at the equally minnow-like Kallia United, famed only on these shores for having jerseys that look not unlike tablecloths. "G.O.", though, has shown his mettle and is looking forward to stepping up to the challenge at the Stadii Di Bradini.

In other news, Robert Zelic is suspended after picking up his third booking against Green Wombat; Lee Gow comes in to replace him.

The expected lineups:

KRYTENIA: Garcia - Perez, Gow, Simpson, Charlton - Ormondroyd, Skordahl, Navarro - Lloyd - Kennedy, Scotland

STARBLAYDIA: Taniquentar - Valdano, Logan, Hindenburg, Mehzubontin - Vegachenko, Mus'haf, Feanaro, Fanorin - Kaii'n, Valrauncion

New Manhattan

17-03-2009, 00:31

Matchday 14 results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14608809&postcount=17) are now up, concluding the qualifying stage.

Sarzonia

17-03-2009, 00:33

snn.sz

Breaking News:

Stars name Braddock manager

By Casey Bridger, Woodstock -- Sarzonia's national team turned to the past for its future.

The Stars announced in a press conference this morning that they have named former Cafundéu national team manager Franz Braddock their new manager.

"We felt Mr. Braddock's credentials were too strong to ignore," said Incorporated Football Federation Chairman Dave Wilson. "There was some concern about his age [83], but his passion and his desire to return to managing impressed us."

Braddock inherits a Stars team that has fallen short of World Cup qualifying in back to back Cups. Sarzonia came within one match of advancing to the World Cup finals in its first World Cup following a 13-cup absence, but were eliminated from World Cup contention with two matchdays remaining in the current World Cup.

"I relish the opportunity," Braddock said. "Sarzonia have great potential and I would like to see them live up to that potential while I coach here."

Braddock coached the Cafundelense national team in World Cups XXXII and XXXIII, guiding them to the finals in their first appearance. He also led the team to the quarterfinals in the first World Cup of his three-cup second tenure with the side (World Cup XXXVII and a Round of 16 appearance in World Cup XXXVIII).

Dave Wilson also announced that the Stars named two technical directors: national team assistant coach Chris Hannan was named the technical director for the senior national team, while Under 21 national team manager Brett Hancock was promoted to technical director of the Under 21 national team. Former Newmanistan assistant coach Chris Merrill was named the manager of the Under 21 national team.

Incoming IFF chairman and current national team manager Brian Wilson will manage the team's final away fixture against Terreiro de Ogum. Assistant manager Kevin Wilson is expected to manage the team's final match of the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy against Krytenia in the new Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia. Following that, Braddock will direct the team in its matches against Yafor 2 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium and The Han Empire at the Iron Bowl in Portland.

"We're excited about the possibilities," Brian Wilson said. "We wanted the transition to begin sooner rather than later."

Jeruselem

17-03-2009, 01:51

On Naked News Jeruselem ...

Jacinta (S): Hello! This is Jacinta Sallad! I'm talking to the recently retired President of the Jeruselem FA and the owner of Naked News Jeruselem, Dazza Dallas. Also with us is, the new President - Jacinta Dallas. Yes, I am related to both of them.
Dazza: Good morning folks.
Jacinta (D): Shalom!
Jacinta (S): Yes, it's not hard to spot the Jew here.

Dazza: Well, that bit was my fault.
Jacinta (S): Both teams qualified again, another success.
Jacinta (D): It's expected these days although the Cannons always leave it real late
Dazza: Yes, they've done that twice now.

Jacinta (S): So Dazza, what's your plans for your retirement?
Dazza: Just spend time with the kids, err grandkids. This lot can't seem to stop making kids.
Jacinta (S): That includes me
Dazza: Yeah well, it's all good!

Jacinta (S): Are you going to retire from doing anything football?
Dazza: No, I'll die with football. I'm not retiring from life at all like some do.
Jacinta (S): Why Jacinta? There's plenty of other suitable people for this job.
Dazza: She may not look like a lot, but she's far from stupid. She's good with people and money, and that's what Jeruselem FA is all about. The money bit is probably from her Dad, being a Jew.

Jacinta (S): Jacinta, are you going change things when you take over?
Jacinta (D): No, I'm pretty much like my mother. I'll have more Jews working there but otherwise not much change.
Jacinta (S): Do you think the Jeruselem FA spends too much on partying?
Jacinta (D): No, we need those functions to get all our sponsors and fans on side. We are here to make money and to make money, we need to keep our associates on side to show we appreciate them.

Jacinta (S): What's Flak Sho doing these days?
Jacinta (D): Helping raising the kids and working with Jerusalem United to raise the next generation of Jewish footballers.
Jacinta (S): Will your kids be as good as the current generation of Sallad and Dallas footballers.
Jacinta (D): Well, the football goodness skipped me but I'm sure my kids will be good.

Jacinta (S): Dazza, will you just disappear from the spotlight?
Dazza: No, I like attention. Sure I'm a senile old granny but I'm Dazza still.
Jacinta (S): You don't seem senile.
Dazza: It's all relative, I guess. I can walk and play a bit of sport still. Not football, I'm not young.

Jacinta (S): You're looking good and healthy for someone your age.
Dazza: I'd rather die than be a sick cripple in bed. I don't want to burden my kids.
Jacinta (S): That sounds rather dramatic.
Dazza: Too many people die slowly in bed, I want to have a quick but peaceful ending. None of this suffering crap.

Sarzonia

17-03-2009, 02:10

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars win B. Wilson's finale

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

At least the Sarzonian national football team has built some momentum heading into a possible trip to the Cup of Harmony.

The Stars won their third consecutive match to close World Cup XLV qualifying, defeating Terreiro de Ogum away on goals by Matt Lynch and Zack Wilson. The Stars (6-3-5, 21 points, fifth place Group 8) finished with a five-match unbeaten streak which began with a goalless draw away to world No. 118 Greston.

"We wanted to continue to build on momentum," said outgoing Stars manager Brian Wilson, who will take over as chairman of the Incorporated Football Federation, the sport's governing body in Sarzonia. "Winning an away match against a quality side, one ranked higher than we are, is a great way to build momentum."

Brian Wilson said he has already begun cleaning out his office at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium and has begun the early stages of his duties as IFF chairman. He said outgoing IFF chairman Dave Wilson -- Brian's father and Zack's grandfather -- consulted him on the IFF's decision to name Chris Hannan the senior national team's technical director and Brett Hancock the Under 21 team's technical director.

"Essentially, we are giving them the responsibility to ensure that the player development pool works the way it is supposed to work," Brian Wilson said. "My father and I both have a strong need to see that we provide all our domestic- and foreign-based players the support they need from the IFF."

Meanwhile, assistant manager Kevin Wilson was named interim manager for the final match of Sarzonia's final match in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy competition, to inaugurate the new Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia. New manager Franz Braddock will manage the Stars in the friendlies against Yafor 2 in Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium and The Han Empire in the new Iron Bowl in Portland.

"We'll use the two friendlies [against Yafor 2 and The Han Empire] as an opportunity to learn our new manager," said Lynch. "We and the IFF all agreed that we wanted to treat the final match of this edition of the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy as seriously as we would a finals match."

Even though defending world champions and world No. 2 Starblaydia have already captured the trophy for the second consecutive Cup, the Stars said they wanted to finish the tournament with pride.

"We want to use the tournament to show the world where we are now against a strong Krytenia side," forward Reese Nichols said. "And we also want to show off the new stadium."

Braddock said he would watch the Stars-Aces match from the executive suite at Mike Sarzo Stadium.

"I want to see the team first hand," he said. He said he would make tactical decisions for the other two fixtures based partly on what he sees.

"I have some ideas after looking at film," he said. "I want to see this team live before I make final decisions."

Cafundeu

17-03-2009, 02:14

WORLD CUP 43 - GLOBO MULTIMEDIA'S ARCHIVE
Second Round/Quarterfinal of World Cup 43

"And Cafundéu gets the victory over Terreiro de Ogum in the Round of Sixteen game here in Valanora. An expected result of a magnificent game. It was very interesting to see these two teams facing each other for the first time in history, as they have many things and common, and it's even better to know that they were playing for a Quarterfinal appearance. In the end, the Monopolists took a somewhat difficult victory and advance, while Terreiro de Ogum will have to be happy about this excellent campaign in their first appearance in the World Cup proper. The coach of Terreiro de Ogum, Blind Magician, commented about Júlio Vargas's superiority: "I ain't got no money and ain't got no hair", saying that these two things differentiate Vargas from him in the Cafundelense's favour. Although everyone in Cafundéu must be happy now, there are sordid details following this good moment: I heard a rumour from the CCFM, which is that the Monopolists will have to face current hosts and World Cup champions Valanora in the quarterinals of this World Cup... let's see if your players will be up to this challenge... this game will be one of the most important in Cafundéu's history! This is Mílton Valença, for the Jutense News!"

(time passes)

"Hello everrrrrrryone watching us on Globo Multimedia! Cafundéu is rrrrrrright now facing its toughest challenge yet in the Worrrrrld Cup, the game against currrrrrrent hosts and champions Valanorrrrrrrra! Oh no, don't say it's trrrrrrue... Valanorrrrra scorrrrrres! Things arrrrre starrrrrting to get difficult for the Monopolists today... will we be eliminated again in the quarrrrrterrrrrfinals? Let's wait, therrrrrrre is still time for a rrrrrreaction... they can have Hawk, but we have Augusto César, and we must not give up yet... Valanorrrrrrra contrrrrrrrols well the ball possession, but the Cafundelenses arrrrrrre prrrrrrressing them to forrrrrrrce a mistake and take the ball... Cafundéu needs an attitude rrrrrright now to get the rrrrrrresult, I rrrrrrremember that my mother said to get things done, and something that must be done rrrrrrright now with this team is to give them some motivation, obligate them to take a differrrrrrrent apprrrroach to this game! Look, this is a chance, long rrrrrranged pass dirrrrrectly to Danilo Sampa in the attack, he makes the pass... Hizzen Hocn blocks!"

(time passes)

"Second half, Valanorrrrrra winning the game by the rrrrrrresult of two goals against one, a desperrrrrrrate moment for the Monopolists who just need a single goal to keep alive in this game. Now the coaches seems to know something... they got a message frrrrrrom the rrrrrreferrrrreee... thrrrrree minutes of injurrrrrry time, the time that Cafundéu has to rrrrrreact in this game. Long rrrrrrranged shot frrrrrrrom Frrrrrresco... oh no, not again... uuuhh, it went wide, but verrrrrrry close! After this attack by Valanorrrrrrra, it seems that the rrrrrreferrrrrree is rrrrrready to end this game, and that's what he is going to do now! Whistles, and the game ends, with the victorrrrrrry of the Vanorrrrrians at home, ending with the Cafundelense hopes of a worrrrrrld cup title! Time for interrrrrrrviews, let's see if our rrrrrreporrrrrrterrrrrrrs find someone willing to talk..."

REPORTER - "There is the defender Titov, captain of the team. Are you frustrated with this result?"

TITOV - "Well, of course we were hoping to advance further in this World Cup, but a loss against Valanora at their home is something completely normal, maybe even expected."

REPORTER - "But which is your view about Cafundéu's campaign in this World Cup?"

TITOV - "Well... I'm happy, hope you're happy too with it."

REPORTER - "That's all I could get from Titov... wait, here is the coach Júlio Vargas, surely he is a bit sad with the result, but he is already talking to the media."

VARGAS - "I believed we could defeat Valanora, and we weren't too far away from that. But this loss can't be seen as a disaster. We had a good World Cup."

REPORTER - "Excuse me, Mr. Vargas, I'm from Globo Multimedia... do you think the Cafundelense National Team had a good attitude in this game?"

VARGAS - "Yes, of course. The players worked hard, but unfortunately the loss came."

REPORTER - "Maybe the tactics changes were a bit strange..."

VARGAS - "It was what could be done with the team at that moment. I never did anything out of the blue."

REPORTER - "That's all with coach Vargas... wait, Hubert is coming, let's talk to him... do you think the team played well?"

HUBERT - "We had a good performance... we had a chance until the end... of course there were some mistakes, but these happen."

REPORTER - "You mean Júlio Sampa's lack of attention in some plays?"

HUBERT - "Yes. We know Júlio Sampa's a junkie."

REPORTER - "Maybe there is a lesson we can learn after this game?"

HUBERT - "You better not mess with Valanora."

(OOC: tomorrow the last WC review, with also the coverage in Cafundéu about the new coach of the Sarzonia NT!)

Qazox

17-03-2009, 04:30

Saint Nash Courier
If you haven't heard it before, It's News to you!
SPORTS
Qazox Gets Group 6 Title.

Ramon Palin scored his first goal in his first start in the 63rd minute, leading Qazox to a 1-0 win over The Macabees, which, coupled with Dancougar's draw with The McLaughlin Islands; gave the Pheonix the top spot in Group 6.

None of the usual starters played for the 2nd straight match, and Tyler Ting earned his 2nd consecutive shut-out, only the 2nd Qazoxian keeper to start their carrer with 2 shut-outs.

Well the World Cup draw isn't for another month, so we have at the moment, no idea where or who Qazox will face in the World Cup.

Scoring Summary:
Qazox:
Ramon Palin- 63'

The Macabees:
None

Green wombat

17-03-2009, 06:11

Hellispont Times-Herald
Cup of Harmony tickets are still available

A 0-0 draw at home vs. Allemenschen ended the 45th World Cup qualifiers for the Wombats.

While Allemenschen is no longer the only CoH bid, Does it really matter if we go there or to Secristan or Newmanistan? We're not in the World Cup, once again, and we frankly stink in the CoH, so the question one might ask of the GWFA is, Have we had enough?

Dancougar

17-03-2009, 06:19

Dancougar News!!
Pitt's the first No. 1 seed to fall. BRACKET OF INTEGRITY.

Backups perform admirably; still can't beat McLaughlins: The starters couldn't beat them, and when the backups trudged off the field after World Cup 45 qualification came to a close... they hadn't done the job, either. The one-clan island continued to confound the Black Wings and drew them for the second time in as many matches, 2-2 in the National Stadium, preventing the Wings from a shot at first in the group. Qazox claimed that on tiebreakers, but Shigeru Takeuchi tried to keep things in perspective.

"It takes more than one game to bring a bunch of fresh players up to speed, regardless of the opponent," he said. "For a lot of them, this was their first international start. Nobody's expecting them to instantly become superstars." But it must be added that at least this bunch managed to put a ball past goalkeeper David.

Casey Berber and Alexei Voronzoff were selected by Takeuchi to be the defensive and offensive captains, respectively, for the match, and the team spent most of the first fifteen minutes just getting its bearings. The important thing, it seemed, was to just be able to string together some passes rather than show any real attacking initiative. Baby steps, supposedly, but that's not how champions are forged. The McLaughlins decided to charge forward for the first real shots of the match, forcing Artur Komarov into action.

Komarov saw action in Di Bradini Cup 8 and ceded seven goals in four matches, and in about half an hour of backup duty against Qazox on qualifying day one, he gave up another. Honestly, it was his impressive collegiate resume and young age that got him onto the shortlist for national team goalkeepers. For the same reason, he was drafted by Dynamo Kalinsk and immediately made a starter. His numbers are average, but they look much better given his lack of support - Dynamo loses a lot of games simply for lack of offense.

For all the pressure heaped on his shoulders these past two years, he didn't look too rattled by the McLaughlin attack. He might have expected better from the national team defense, but a defensive bungle from the underwhelming Doug Edrington led to the first goal of the match going against him anyway. In the 28th, a poor clearance found itself right to the foot of midfielder Steve, who punched it in from the top of the box.

"You hate to go behind at home," said Komarov. "But it happens. You just have to buckle down as a team and just play solid defense, bide your time, and wait for your chance."

That chance wouldn't come until the second half, though. They hacked away until the halftime whistle blew, and the crowd didn't quite applaud the effort. Nevertheless, they managed to avoid buckling when the McLaughlins pressed their attack and tried to double the lead. And Dustin Garbett came close to equalizing when an Al McNespy cross found his head, but his shot sailed over the bar.

Then, in the 55th, Hiromasa Nagasawa found the net for Dancougar. Voronzoff saw him make a run and slipped a pass between defenders Paul and Laurence. Nagasawa controlled it in stride and easily scored to make it 1-1. It was a personal victory for Nagasawa, who's been mired in his team's troubles. FC Takano, after finishing seventh last season, has fallen hard in the rankings with forward Raul de Olivares so often absent with the Qazox national team. Nagasawa has struggled mightily to lead the team, and a senior team goal is definitely a bit of solace.

Within three minutes, the McLaughlins had regained the lead. Mark slipped behind Dwight Heath and held off a challenge from Berber to beat Komarov to his left. Komarov almost got to it in time, but it rattled off his fingertips and went in. Takeuchi had seen enough from his defensive unit and sent on Mitchell Wolford to try his luck at keeping the game within reach. He had experienced forward Karen Stadler on the end of his bench, as well, but he decided not to use her.

"Down at home, that's what I'd call trial by fire," said Takeuchi. "No better time to learn how to come together as a team. I thought the offense was doing fine, so there was no need to send out someone else."

His vote of confidence paid off. Hiroshi Kaizuka, Dan Florentino's midfield teammate at Chuuoushi, ended up on the end of it. Garbett saw a shot bounce off a defender's legs and into the path of McNespy, who whipped a cross back into the box. Stuart only grazed it with his head as he attempted to clear, and Kaizuka, left all alone at the back post, ran onto it for a tap-in. Kaizuka's equalizer once again sparked hopes that the Wings could grind out a victory, but the McLaughlins decided to cut their losses and fall back on defense for the final fifteen minutes.

A little friendly competition awaits: With some time now before the Wings learn who their first round opponents will be in World Cup 45, Shigeru Takeuchi still has to narrow down his list of players to 23. He'll have two good opportunities to evaluate them, away friendlies to fellow qualifiers Bears Armed and Cassadaigua.

"In a short time, these sides have proven themselves to have a lot of burgeoning talent," said Takeuchi. "Naturally we expect both to be a challenge."

But fans hoping to see the Dancougar first team - and there can't be many, we're sure - will have to settle for only a few familiar faces, as Takeuchi plans to use the matches to evaluate players he didn't use much during qualification. We, and probably he, wouldn't be surprised if his opponents did the same.

@ Cassadaigua
Starting XI: Komarov; Berber, Bogart, Sakuraba, Wolford; Dylandy, Hayashi, McNespy, Taketomo; Nagasawa, Katayanagi
Substitutes: Vaccarino; Cecilia, Heath; Klingensmith, Landro, Rousch, Stadler

Against the Dagans, Dancougar's lone female national teamer, Karen Stadler, will likely see action off the bench as a nod to the accomplishments of their all-female opposition. Stoneridge teammates Matt Bogart and Michelle Fuller will square off, and midfielders Lyle Dylandy and Al McNespy will be reunited, a throwback to their days at Sporting Kildare.

@ Bears Armed
Starting XI: Vaccarino; Edrington, Heath, Sakuraba, Samrov; Kaizuka, Klingensmith, Rousch, Voronzoff; Garbett, Katayanagi
Substitutes: Komarov; Cecilia, Wolford; Hayashi, Landro, Taketomo; Rosberg

The Belles will see a radically different lineup compared to the ones which toppled them twice in qualifying to take a firm hold of the Shirt on Stick. Cautious play is expected from this bunch, with breakaway speedster Stefan Rosberg held in reserve, although some think that Doug Edrington's starting job may be in jeopardy after a string of subpar games.

Prux

17-03-2009, 06:19

Prux@WC45.com
Where do the Adverts Go from Here?

A 2-2 draw with Arroza ended Prux' most successful qualifing campaign at 9-3-2, and a solid 2nd place in Group 3, which had some good teams in the group.

McGruff the Crime Dog and the Frito Bandito each scored early to give the Adverts a 2-0 lead, before goals by Rebecca (Revy) Viades and Davis Elliott tied the match in the 2nd half.

With the World Cup beginning in 6 weeks, one can only wonder if Prux' decent qualifying campaign will result in an easier draw in the Cup itself? Or will the team be lumped with the likes of Starblaydia, Valanora or Daehanjeiguk? Once the draw occurs, we'll find out if this team has a chance.

Prux World Cup 45 Qualifying Schedule:

(All 1st half matches were played at a baseball field: McCoy Stadium in Pawtucket, capacity 21,963.)
(all 2nd half Home Matches to be played the Griffin Stadium in Pawtucket, Prux, Capacity 67,500.)
@ Ierissos D 1-1
vs. Rymeria W 5-3
@ Milchama L 1-2
vs. Govindia W 6-1
@ Akbarabad W 2-0
vs. Septentrionia W 4-3
@ Arroza W 2-0
vs. Ierissos W 1-0
@ Rymeria W 1-0
vs. Milchama D 2-2
@ Govindia W 5-1
vs. Akbarabad W 1-0
@ Septentrionia L 0-1
vs. Arroza D 2-2
(RECORD 9-3-2)
World Cup 45 (Group ??) @ ???
M1: ?
M2: ?
M3: ?

Due losing a legal challenge, the Meet a Pruxian feature has been permanently discontinued.
(ooc: A hint, All the pics I used from MD 3-10 have exactly ONE thing in common, which is related to each set of pics. None of the pictures used have anything directly in common with the pics from the next day. SOMEONE GUESS, PLEASE, so i can stop asking you all to guess!)

Secristan

17-03-2009, 10:59

MILLIONAIRES DO THEIR PART

In order to qualify for World Cup 45, two things needed to happen for Secristan. The first part of the mission was accomplished, thanks to a strong showing in a 3-0 win over Forn Parts. The second part, did not. Logria needed to upset Jeru FC on the road, and the newcomer did put up a good fight for us, but the army folks pulled out the 1-0 win in the end to keep us out of World Cup 45, and Jeru FC in. Next up will be the Cup of Harmony, which the Secristan Department of Sports is attempting to bring to the country. Of the two bids that have been presented for the newly named Executive World Cup Committee to vote upon, the One Big Island bid may be the longer shot, but the SDOS is really hoping that it will win the bid. If not, then the Millionaires will be heading to either Allemenschen or Peisandros, two new nations on the scene, although Allemenschen has some very strong ties to the Han Empire which will help, and our fellow Baptism of Fire runner up, Peisandros, is like us as a nation wishing to raise their profile. Therefore, we have confidence in them if need be.

The SDOS is pleased with the run the Millionaires had. At least this time, the team had a chance to qualify all the way until the last matchday unlike four years ago where they were eliminated realistically by matchday 10. This allowed for ratings and purchases of the pay-per-view telecasts to show a 23% overall increase from World Cup 44. For the average bid price per seat at the home games, there was a 27% overall increase. This was partly due to the presence of Valanora attracting a very affluent crowd and that the last game of qualifying was at home, creating a much higher demand for a game against last place side that we could have ever imagined. Hopefully, they can carry this into the Cup of Harmony and have a much improved performance then we have seen the last two times, no matter where the Cup of Harmony ends up taking place.

Cassadaigua

17-03-2009, 13:17

Courtney’s Space

We’re going to the World Cup! I can’t help but get emotional as this is something that I was not sure that I was ever going to do in my lifetime. I felt confident that one day my country would make it and maybe Stacie Kerrigan would be the one that lead us there. At 34 years of age, I have been through a lot but World Cup glory is something that I didn’t think I would attain. Glory, as in making the field, of course. I remember when at 26, our President announced that Cassadaigua was going to participate in the World Cup after years of playing and watching the competition and wondering why we could never at least take a shot at qualifying. It was seen as a risk by many, and an opportunity for us few. Now we are in the field of 32, as a longshot that not many will expect anything out of. We will await the group draw now in excitement to see where we are heading, and who our opponents will be. They will be strong opponents, but we have confidence as we did defeat the Han this time, and have done reasonably well, all things considered, against another elite soccer nations. It will be great just to be there as we know how difficult it is and how badly other nations want to be in this great field.

To get here, we had to defeat Taeshan in Concord Heights and I must say that you, the fans, did a great job. You answered our requested to wear white as a show of support and the rally towels were waving. It really did lift us up and give us energy, especially after coming off what could have been a very demoralizing loss. We put aside the Candelaria And Marquez match because that had nothing to do with what we needed to do last night. It was a battle as we went into halftime all square at one, Stacie Kerrigan getting us on the board in the 23rd minute, which was the first goal of the match. In the second half, we fell behind early, but Meghan Burns’ goal in the 63rd minute picked us up quite a bit. It’s been a rough past three weeks for Meghan considering she was assaulted prior to the match against Greal, and needed stitches to heal a facial wound. She is a great player and a true leader, and if any of us felt that we were getting tired out there, all we needed to do is look at her and the energy that she had given what she dealt with. With the score tied at two, a draw was not going to cut it for either of us. No one knew the Greal-Albundania score, but we were all likely feeling it was a safe assumption to think that Greal would win. We both had to press for the game winner, and to be able to score it is such a great honor. Erika Cottrell really made the play happen in midfield with an interception, and got the ball up front. By the time the ball got to me, I knew this had to be it and I had to beat the keeper and the defense. Even though the one guy was holding onto my jersey clearly, I got a good shot on ball and it was in! Oh yes there will be hell to pay in Taeshan, oh yeah! In the 88th minute, the ending was near, but we didn’t get too excited until it was official. The sound of the referee’s final whistle was music to our ears! We had done it! We had qualified for the World Cup!

To be able to celebrate with my teammates on the field was truly surreal. We opted to give coach Baynes a ride on our shoulders, and she really deserves a lot of credit for what we have been able to accomplish. She’s been with us from the start, and she’s been watching international soccer longer then I have so I could only imagine what was going through her head to know that she will be representing, and coaching Cassadaigua in the World Cup. After we left the field, we had a big party amongst us team members and some our best friends. It was a great time and a joy to celebrate! We will briefly celebrate, but also prepare for what will be at least three very tough games. Prior to that, we host Dancougar for a post-qualifying friendly.

Daehanjeiguk

17-03-2009, 20:44

World Cup 45 Qualification - Group 2
PRQ: 1-3@ Newmanistan [32] (@ Putnam Lake Stadium, Putnam Lake - ???)
MD1: 2-2 @ Greal [43] (@ who knows where?)
MD2: 1-0 @ Taeshan [31] (@ %$#^)
MD3: 2-0 @ Albundania [UNK] (@ here?)
MD4: 2-3@ Cassadaigua [50] (@ pink!)
MD5: 2-1 vs Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MD6: 1-0 @ Mo Land 3 [141] (@ gemme moland!)
MD7: 4-1 vs Achtervolging [98] (@ Dynasty Imperial Football Stadium, Namgyeong - 51,000)
MQ: @ Booblybobbers
MD8: 2-0 vs Greal [43] (@ Goguryeo Football Stadium, Pyeongyang - 52,000)
MD9: 6-0 vs Taeshan [31] (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD10: 4-0 vs Albundania [UNK] (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD11: 3-0 vs Cassadaigua [50] (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD12: 2-1 @ Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Millerman Sheppard Stadium, Albrecht - 40,614)
MD13: 3-0 vs Mo Land 3 [141] (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD14: 4-0 @ Achtervolging [98] (@ ah-choo!)
PTQ: @ Sarzonia [56] (@ The Iron Bowl, Portland - 46,220)

*** Spring Palace, Hangyeong ***

"Emperor! Taeshan is being invaded!"

"By whom?"

"The Bostopians."

The Emperor scoffed. "You woke me up for this?"

"Sire, you told us to give you advance notice of anything that would happen in Taeshan."

"I was talking about the geese!"

"Oh... well, there are geese in Sorthern Northland now. There will probably be geese all over Atlantian Oceania as well. I really don't think that there's a problem with the geese though."

"Why not?"

"Well, they're hurting anyone. Besides the Sortherners of course, but that's what they are. They're the sort of people that just get hurt."

"But it's the geese that are hurting them. That's my problem."

"Pyei-ha, this business with the geese surely can be resolved by other means. I mean, maybe the geese misunderstood us. We're not out to take their land. Besides, there are billions upon billions of green islands. Which one?"

"I think I've figured out the mystery!" Marquis Pak Yu suddenly and inexplicably entered the room.

"What mystery?"

"The message we received was not from a green island, but the green island."

"You just said the same thing twice."

"I know. But instead of talking about a general green island, I believe that the message came from a country known as Green Island."

"Ah... and you know this how?"

"Because I looked up Green Island in our charts. There appears to be one such entity within the Candelaria And Marquezian Islands in Rushmore..."

"No, I was talking about how you knew about the letter," the Emperor clarified.

"Oh. Count Han told me about the letter from the Academy. He wanted to know if it was just one green island or a specific green island."

"Okay... that letter was technically not supposed to be been a public item, but since we're firmly aware that there is a green island called 'Green Island', we can suppose that the threat came from there. Now the real question is why would an island belonging to Candelaria And Marquez want to threaten the Han Empire."

Marquis Pak offered his opinion, "I think they sent the letter to the wrong country, personally. I think it was intended for Candelaria And Marquez, seeing as they're neighborly. But Green Island is probably looking to become independent and they want to become a free country, independent of the Candelariasians and the Marquezians. In threatening the Republic, they hope to avoid a military conflict with the motherland...or something like that."

"Okay, what's the connection with the geese?"

"I don't know," Marquis Pak replied. "Maybe that's where the geese come from?"

"Well, if this message wasn't meant for us, maybe we should... send it to the rightful owner? After all, the Candelariasian Republic will want to know that their own islands' geese are threatening them."

"Verily." The Marquis departed, presumably to forward the message sent to Candelaria And Marquez. The Emperor, resolved with his goose threat issue, turned his focus back to Taeshan and the Bostopians. "So what exactly are the Bostopians doing at this moment?"

*** Somewhere, Sometime, Somehow ***

Yim Hwanyong once was, but no longer is. He was once the man who murdered the Daeweongun, but he no longer is. He was once the man who beat the young punk down that street, but he no longer is. In the ways of old, Yim Hwanyong became dead and was buried finally in the desert by the people who greeted him as among them. They welcomed him and made him one of their own in every likeness. These were the outlaws who were exiled for their crimes, too great for society to forgive of them; and hence, they were returned to nature, for the natural ways to finish them. By far, the severity of their crimes paled in comparison to YIm Hwangyong, but it mattered none to them. Society rejected them, and hence they rejected society and all those who hailed it.

Yim Hwanyong believed in society though. He believed that society was being corrupted by the foreigners. He believed that he was destined by fate to rectify this error. But Yim Hwanyong was no more, and in his place rose a demon more powerful and more destructive than Yim Hwanyong. In his place rose Jang Hwayang, and he believed in things not like Yim Hwanyong. Jang Hwayang believed that society was being corrupted by foreigners because society itself was corruptible. He couldn't blame the foreigners for their problems; it was the society in which they were raised, and how can any person be raised in a pure and perfect society if no such society exists? The problem was society; the solution was anti-society. And to those who would protect society, death and ruin to them.

"You have learned much," the old man said, as he stared off into the wilderness. The sun was setting, but the day had only just begun for Jang. He had much to do. "Tell me what this wind tells you."

Yim Hwanyong could not hear the wind, but Jang Hwayang obeyed its every commands. And its voice was as pure as the sunlight radiating upon him during the day. And in the night, only the wind was still with him.

"I must go in the world," Jang replied.

"Into the world?" the old man thought. He wasn't listening to the same wind. "Are you sure?"

"I must. There is a mission to accomplish. One last thing before this body must depart."

"I have raised you to listen to the wind," the old man replied. "Does this wind command you to kill?"

"It does."

"Have I not taught you about killing?"

"Survival is what makes killing right."

"That is not what I taught you," the old man replied. "Killing is what makes survival right. If you can live with the consequences, then you are doing well."

"The wind says that I will not live. That I will perish. And that Yim Hwanyong is dead enough; Jang Hwayang must die too. Jang Hwayang should never have lived."

The old man nodded. Perhaps he spoke the truth. "Must you kill?"

"I must rectify things in the world of society," he said. "Make right the ways of the corrupt, that they can see our ways."

"If that be the case," the old man said. He paused only to bring out his bow. He charged an arrow and unleashed it out into the wilderness. It fell in the dark, but the old man knew where it lie. "That is as far as I shall follow you."

"I do not ask for your company," Jang replied.

"I know. I am going nonetheless."

The two rode upon their horses until the darkness completely covered the desert, and life somehow emerged from the deathly place. The wind had softened its tone, and the stars shone out into the wilderness like tiny lanterns upon the forbidden plains. Jang Hwayang knew what he must do, and the old man knew that whatever Jang must do was perhaps of importance to the celestial balance. Perhaps not. Perhaps Yim Hwanyong was not completely dead, and that was the purpose of escaping into the world - to kill Yim Hwanyong. The problem was not Jang, himself. Jang was honorable. But Yim was miserable. He was a cold, pathetic creature that fell under the weight of burdens that only he placed upon himself. And society taught him that. Jang was free. And he freely became the slave of this character, who commanded the wind now.

"This is where I must stop," the old man said at a length, pointing to the arrow in the ground. Jang nodded and got off his horse. He politely returned the beast to its original master, and while the old man wished to leave the spot, he waited further until Jang had disappeared from the horizon. And when he saw that, he turned away, offering a blessing of peace for the man, troubled as he was by his mandate. "May he succeed, or perish trying."

*** Lucky Cricket Bar, Jungan Street, Hangyeong ***

Choe was surprisingly in an upbeat mood today. Apparently, the recent events didn't seem to dampen his enthusiasm too much. Hong spent the greater part of the day trying to figure it out, while Chan was only too glad that Choe had stopped tapping his fingers on the table. Hansu was unusually busy in the kitchen that day, which left Kim Seungho stuck almost exclusively at the bar.

"So what's keeping you so jippy today?" Yu finally asked.

"I've been reading up some poetry recently," Choe replied.

"That's good."

"It's crap."

"Crappy poetry," Hong noted. "And you'd be an expert, just how?"

"I'm a writer."

"A bad one at that."

"I'm a good enough writer," Choe retorted quickly. He took offense to Hong's remarks. "I can tell good writing from bad, it's just the writing part that's hard."

"That's what separates the good writers from the bad," Hong said.

Choe decided to ignore Hong, and started to chat with Yu. "Well, I've been reading some international journals, and I've come across some really SLANI poetry."

"SLANI poetry?" Yu said in an inquisitive manner. "What the heck does that mean?"

"I'm not sure myself, but SLANI apparently is some foreign catch-all term for crap, shit, fuck, hell, crapper, and ladybugs. Anyway, it was SLANI."

"How would you even write that?"

"스란니. Does it really matter? It was SLANI poetry. End of story. I'm thinking to myself that it's so bad that I could go into writing poetry myself."

"Wait," Hong interjected, "replace SLANI poetry with even more and worse SLANI poetry?"

"I'm better than most people. Take this haiku.

Willows in the wind,
So sweetly swinging are its branches
Springtime will come soon.
(ooc: ignore the fact that that wouldn't probably make much sense in Chinese, Korean, or Japanese)

How about that?"

"That's a haiku?" Yu replied.

"That's a nature song," Hong said.

"Haikus are about nature. That's what makes it a good haiku!"

"That's precisely what makes it SLANI," Hong said. "I'll give you a good haiku.

Football in the groin
Painful feelings flowing free
He should wear a cup.
(ooc: ditto)

That's a haiku."

"That's a just joke," Choe said. "Hardly even. What are you trying to do, make people laugh?"

"No... that's a bonus if they do, though."

"You children know nothing of poetry!" Chan said. "Nothing at all!"

"I'm pretty sure that Chan knows some really real poetry," Hong said.

"Whether it's good or not is another story," Choe added, almost unnecessarily as he got a slap on the back of his head just as soon.

"Pay attention!

Sincere intentions lacking,
There can be no brilliant understanding.
To strive irresolutely,
There can be no great works to see.
(ooc: Xunzi, Chapter 1)

This is true poetry. Knowing and reciting the classics (ooc: Classical works of the Han Empire), this is the gentleman's Way."

"The gentleman also does not consort at a bar," Hong replied.

"'If the gentleman does not travel with the barbarians, how can they learn virtue?'" Chan replied.

"'The gentleman is true, but not rigidly so.'"

Hansu came out just in time to stop the Analects quoting game. "And the Master Kong also said, 'Let's eat!'" He presented his tray of food for his guests. Instantly, the discussion disappeared and they gathered closer to eat Hansu's wealth of food just as both Baek and Son came back from their daily routines at the Imperial Assembly. It was hardly visible, but Son did appear a bit downtrodden, though no one needed to wait long before he started to vent his frustrations.

"Are you telling me that spending a good five-hundred thousand weon is too much to build even a simple road? I'm not asking for much!" He hesitated at eating his food. Baek didn't seem to have any problems.

"You'll learn to get over it," Baek said. "It's partially a matter of how you say it and how much the Assembly is willing to grant you in their petition. There are other ways to circumvent that problem too."

"Like what?"

"Private money? I got ten-thousand weon for a project just by agreeing to let one of the advertisement companies to build a billboard along the road leading to Jangni. And then there's gambling..."

"Good sir," Pak said, "I wouldn't imagine advising the young Master Son to engage in as risky fortunes, especially with as much he risks to lose, sir."

"Indeed, Pak! My man, you are wise. Tell us how we should get about this business. He needs five-hundred thousand weon to build a road, but the Assembly isn't willing to give it. How can we get to it?"

"It is a serious trouble, sir."

"I know. How can we get the money for it?"

"I know not, sir. But I shall endeavour to find a resolution, sir."

"Good man!" Pak retired outside of the bar, to think apparently, leaving Baek and Son to linger over the problem. Baek began to eat up, as he explained his trust in Pak. "He's a great man, Pak, he is. I'd be lost without him. And if anyone knew what to do, he'd be the man for the job."

"I'm hoping that it doesn't involve advertisements," Son said. "There isn't much to advertise out west, especially places west of Seoan. The people are nomadic herdsmen, and I can hardly trouble them to settle down. How could I convince them to allow a billboard stand on their land?"

"Well, it's Imperial territory..."

"It's their land, granted under authority of the Emperor."

"I suppose you have a point. If it's the ads that worry you, you could try creating an industry in your little village."

"What industry?"

"Goat milk?" Hong said. "They raise goats, right?"

"I don't think that they'd like to sell their goat milk for commercial use, especially since they don't have many livestock."

"Breeding horses?" Hong continued.

"I really don't think that they have good enough horses to breed."

"Well, you've got to give us something to help you with," Hong said. "I can make suggestions all day, but it won't mean much if you don't agree with me."

"I've got to figure this out, somehow," Son said, trying to avoid entangling his old friends with his business. "This is my problem. I've got the responsibility."

"Bah, shrug responsibility for a moment. My man, Pak, is on the job, and he'll find us something, won't he?"

"I hope so."

"Anyway, so what's the big news of the day?" Baek said, turning to the others.

"Cassadaigua just qualified for the World Cup over Taeshan. 3-2 win, it was."

"That's good," Baek said, unaware of the context in which he said. Instantly, some members of the bar were upset with his petty remark and slapped some food upon him. He couldn't why they'd be so rude. "How distasteful!" he said, trying to wipe off the pepper sauce and oil from his clothes. "I've got wear this tomorrow too!"

"You don't know much about footy, do you?" Choe said.

"All I know are the numbers," Baek said. "And I only know those because Pak gets them for me. Great man, Pak, he is..."

"Cassadaigua was the one team that beat the Han off some SLANI refs, and they've been complaining about it ever since."

"Hell, what would I know about that? And what the heck is SLANI?"

*** Juan Kim's Office ***

BSF. Why was it so hard to find the %$#^ BSF? Juan was trying to rationalize his search quest as hard as he could, until he came up with a novel solution. Maybe, just maybe they weren't BSF yet. Maybe they were still BFSA.

No, wait... he'd tried that already. They'd already done the change. So... maybe they had changed from BFSA, but not to BSF. So if that were the case, what were they now?

He decided to try back at the BSFA one more time...

"Hello, you've reached the BSFA hotline. I'm sorry we're not available to answer the phone right now, but if you leave you name, phone number, and a good reason why we should call you back, we might do so. In the meantime, you can participate in our lovely poster drawing contest, for the logo for the BSF! All you need to do is just draw up a new logo for the new BSF that doesn't infringe upon the existing designs of the other BSF. If interested, please send your mail to the BFSA just like normal and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Oh, and there might be a T-shirt prize too! Oh wait, we're not doing T-shirt prizes... instead... we're, um, doing... bobble-heads! Come get your free bobble-head of a koala kicking a football at a cheeky fellow! With your submission of a new logo design of course... is this thing off... *click*"

That didn't help much. But it gave him an idea...

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/Companies/MBC.png

We're Done - FINALLY

ACHTERVOLGING - 4 goals greeted the fans as the Han cruised to victory in Achtervolging (however that's supposed to be pronounced), and the world knew just precisely who would be participating in the tournament. Opting to give Jeong Jihun some more practice time, Ioshido Toki had Jeong and Kim Daeeui at the front, which made for a powerful combination as the two ruled the field pretty much through and through. They might have had made a larger goal margin, but the two seemed more fixed upon practicing beating a defensive side than trying to score goals, as was evidenced by their numerous forays into the box before punting the ball back out as if being striker and defender all in the same pitch. But they didn't waste time, Jeong Jihun started the goal fest with a powerful strike in he 17th minute. Kim Daeeui added to his tally just minutes later, and Song Jongguk, out again for Kim Byeongji, had his own goal sent in courtesy a friendly post. 3-0 at the half, the Han turned to playing defensively, to try and work out making the best of shorthanded opportunities. That in itself was a bit too much realism, as the Han nearly conceded two goals as the match draw down. Just to put the match beyond all doubt, Jeong Jihun moved the ball down and easily scored his second goal to leave the Han on top with a 4 goal margin.

And so there will be twenty-nine teams joining the Han Empire as they go out to make their entrance to their 8th consecutive World Cup appearance. Joining them from Group 1 are Rennidan, Lovisa, and Yafor 2. From Group 3, we have Milchama, Prux, and Septentrionia. In Group 4, Valanora, Jaseuyeon, and Jeru FC each qualified (the last just barely off a 1-0 win). Group 5 will be sending Vephrall, the Bostopian Empire, and the Archregimancy to the World Cup. Qazox, Dancougar, and Bears Armed will be representing the sides from Group 6. The triple Entente from Group 7 are Starblaydia, the Holy Empire, and Krytenia. From Group 8, we have Sorthern Northland, Cafundeu, and Yafalonia and Bazor 2. In Group 9, we have Bazalonia, Bostopia, and Kura-Pelland. And finally from Group 10, Jeruselem, Kelssek, and Ad'ihan all qualified. To complete the list of qualifying teams, the Han Empire topped Group 2 with 37 points (only Starblaydia has any more points, while only Sorthern Northland matches the number of points earned); Candelaria And Marquez didn't have a beautiful qualification season, but they've still qualified ratherr comfortably in the last few days with 28 points to to show. Cassadaigua, courtesy a 3-2 win over Taeshan, fill the third spot for Qualification, earning 26 points in all. But just to show you how competitive this group was... Greal missed qualification by one point, while Taeshan's loss left behind of the spot by two points. The bottom three truly form the weakest links of the World Cup - Achtervolging managed to earned 13 points, while Mo Land 3 stole away 9 points, conceding a good 35 goals. Albundania was the only team in World Cup 45 Qualification to lose every single match. And that's the end of World Cup Qualification - next up is the World Cup, after a brief (and hopefully enlightening) friendly match in Sarzonia.

Goal Tally
12 - Jeong Jihun
9 - Kim Mihyeon
5 - Kim Daeeui
2 - Baek Jihun, Song Jongguk, Shin Ganyak, Yi Yeongpyo
1 - Pak Yongho

Cafundeu

17-03-2009, 21:21

(OOC: note that the first two paragraphs aren't about the same thing of the rest, and are from different people)

WORLD CUP 44 - GLOBO MULTIMEDIA'S ARCHIVE
The Final game of World Cup 44

"During World Cup forty-four, I made the most touching interview of my entire career: the last recorded conversation of the former Counsellor-Minister of Sports and President of the CCFM Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard. He was in a hospital in the centre of Lasft, battling against lung cancer. But everyone knew at that time that his health condition was very delicate, and that he wouldn't resist the disease for much longer. That's why this conversation was so special for me. I am Tânia Albuquerque, an experienced reporter. I've already talked with Jowenguard many other times, and once he said I was his friend. But, when I entered in that hospital, I knew that this would be my last interview with him. Here he was, in a wheelchair with his nurse assisting him. We passed upon the stair that lead to his room, and started talking of usual things. We spoke of was and when. Of personal issues. Of the country problems. And, of course, about football and the World Cup. He was clearly sad for not being together with the National Team in Kura-Pelland, but was happy with the performance of the Monopolists, who were about to play Starblaydia in the last game of the entire competition, the World Cup Final."

"It is clear that he enjoyed football a lot, and he commented: "Although I wasn't there, I commemorated like few our victory over Milchama." Yes, he probably did. It was the first time that Cafundéu won a quarterfinals game, after three missed attempts. And, to make things even better, the Monopolists defeated Bostopia in a very difficult game, earning the place in the World Cup final. With more than fifty years working in the CCFM, doing the best he could for the National Team and the Cafundelense football in general, Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard was finally receiving his reward, in his last moments of life. He told me: "I was expecting this moment... a long long time ago. Not the title, as this can not come, but only to see the whole world viewing our National Team as one of the biggest of the world... This is my lifetime dream, and I'm happy I achieved that before dying." It was the first time in the conversation that he talked about his death, that would certainly come soon. He seemed calm, but I doubt he was... I can't even imagine what he was thinking... when the interview ended, I reluctantly left the hospital. Jowenguard died three days later, during his sleep, two days after the World Cup final which Cafundéu lost. Today, when I remember the image of Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard, I notice how much the Cafundelense football loses with him, it isn't the same thing. We must have died along."

"I knew that reaching the final of the World Cup was already a big achievement for the Cafundéu National Team. But, as our opponents had nearly the same ranking as us - including the fact that we were one place above them - the World Cup title was something we could surely dream about. Cafundéu and Starblaydia were both prepared to play their best in the final, and many cameras would be focusing me - David Nefasto - as the coach of Cafundéu. On the other side, that was Lex Panarii, the coach of Starblaydia. Before the game, I spoke into his eyes, saying "may the best team wins." He agreed, and we both left to prepare our players. Two draws, one during normal time and other during extra time, turned things tense. I was clearly nervous to have to decide the World Cup title on penalty kicks. In the fifth shootout for Starblaydia, the goal that gave them the title... for a few seconds. Father Luke the Fair, the referee from The Archregimancy, ordered the penalty to be taken again, which came as some surprise. But, when Starblaydia converted its tenth - yes, tenth - shootout attempt, all was over. The World Cup went to them. I gazed a gazely stare at all the thousands there at the stadium, and couldn't say anything. I didn't know even what to think about that result."

"Panarii came to congratulate me for Cafundéu's good game, and I only could congratulate him too for the title. I could just think at the time "you're face to face with the man who won the World Cup" He commented about the strictness of the referee, and about some curious moments of the game. I laughed and shook his hand, and made my way back home. That is, I tried to go directly to the dressing room, but I couldn't avoid the reporters that suddenly surrounded me wanting comments about the game."

REPORTER - "David, a hard way to lose a title, isn't it?"

NEFASTO - "Yes, but we did our best."

REPORTER - "Do you think Cafundéu had chances to win this title?"

NEFASTO - "Of course. We never lost control. The game could go either side."

REPORTER - "Was it the best moment of your entire career?"

NEFASTO - "Surely. For years and years I roamed, won titles... but nothing like this moment with the National Team."

REPORTER - "Cafundéu was obligated to take the last penalty kick with the goalkeeper Kardec... do you think the result could be different if a field player took that penalty?"

NEFASTO - "Who knows? Not me."

(OOC: with today's post, there are references to 17 different songs in my posts. Nearly all of the references are verses of the songs. There'll be more, 1 per matchday, until Cafundéu leaves the WC. After that, I'm planning to give a place in Cafundéu's NT staff [options are: assistant coach, physical trainer, spy, entertainer, doctor] for a character of the nation that finds all songs after the end of my participation in this cup)

Candelaria And Marquez

17-03-2009, 21:40

Minor Events Known to Have Occurred During the Previous Three Weeks of Candelariasian History

The Albrecht Herald Online>Albrecht Today>Songstress

MSS future under threat after MD12 misadventures ~ CAMAFA bosses have confirmed this lunchtime that the Millerman Sheppard Stadium will not be considered for WC46 Qualifying matches as a result of a series of incidents during the Candelaria And Marquez versus Daehanjeiguk encounter, and have cast doubt on the long-term future of the venue as a destination for the national team.

Speaking to TV1, CAMAFA communications director Freddie Painter admitted that staff at what had until relatively recently been the country’s premier sporting venue had displayed an ‘unacceptable level of pre-match preparation’. Promising a full investigation, Painter added that the ground had been suspended from his organisation’s elite list of Big Blues stadia.

Officials at the MSS have been slammed for the unsatisfactory quality of the pitch, which began to cut-up badly during the second half, and for supplying match balls from a discontinued series long considered far too light for professional play. Strikers and goalkeepers alike registered their dissatisfaction following the game, in which the ball in play was twice propelled out of the ground to cause bodywork damage and mild concussion to a mallard and private vehicle respectively.

With alcohol prohibited inside sports venues across the Candelarias, Albrecht City Council may also investigate stadium authorities for failing to clamp down on a number of unlicensed purveyors of alcoholic beverages within the stands, while stadium security have admitted to an ‘unforgivable breech’ in failing to apprehend at least two men carrying fireworks into the ground.

A statement from the Albrecht FC press office released late last night saw admissions of guilt in several areas, coupled with criticism of the CAMAFA for moving the fixture from the Solidarity Stadium to the MSS at the last moment ‘to completely disregard the formal confirmation of WC45 Qualifying home venues made months in advance’. The statement also stressed that the ‘series of isolated incidents… [should] not detract from a long and admirable record of successful big-match hosting in Songstress’.

C&M lost the match 2-1 in a repeat of the scoreline from Hangyeong, Abdul Ibadulla’s opener overturned by Shin Gayak and the Scorpions’ own Kim Daeeui.

***

The Albrecht Herald Online>Politics>In Brief

Permanent missions expected in Hangyeong, Albrecht ~ Junior Foreign Minister Bernadette Graulty has confirmed the establishment of mutual embassies between the Han Empire and C&M, despite concerns over civil and political rights in the Celestial Regency. Speaking on TV1, Ms Graulty proclaimed the Empire as one of the Republic’s ‘key international colleagues’ in the financial and diplomatic arenas, and stated the Foreign Office’s belief that the move would be welcomed by citizens of both nations.

The presence of His Excellency, Prince Kim and his staff in Albrecht is likely to be particularly warmly received by Imperial Han residents and citizens of the Candelarias, who have long expressed frustration in achieving uncomplicated travel arrangements between the Republic and their ancestral homeland.

As a result of the long-term Foreign Office policy of fatiotafebsaawimoloseme*, C&M’s “man in Hangyeong” is likely be named as Timothy Nguyen, a former head of the CMFO’s Asia Directorate, and most recently head of the organisation’s International Counter-Terrorism Policy Liaison Department.

*Foolishly attempting to ingratiate oneself to a foreign entity by sending an ambassador who is more-or-less of said entity’s majority ethnicity

***

“I mean, when all’s said and done, I’m just a fraud… I’m not like you, I mean, I probably know more about actual football than you, because tactically you don’t have a clue, you never did… And equally, I can dress meself in the mornings and don’t need everything puréed but… You’re you! They’ll run through walls for you, they’ll find gears they don’t even know they had, and they don’t even know why. God knows I don’t. I should never have asked for your help, but I did and you came along and it worked, somehow, and now you’re gone again and we’re going to lose to these bloody girls and I’m just lost… I don–”

“Hem…”

Elgin Dannat turned around sharply, outlying regions of stomach and thigh following at their own pace shortly after. He glowered at his captain.

“Niv… I, um… I don’t suppose…?”

“I’ve heard anything? Sorry, gaffer. Not a sausage. Not that I’d necessarily expect to, but his sons haven’t heard anything, or the Sunshine Memory Towers, and I’ve texted some of his old players, and Ricardo over in ‘topia, and whatnot, but… It’s like he’s disappeared off the face of the Earth.”

“He could be lost… Disorientated, confused… He’s an old man, Niv, he’s got troubles… There should be search parties an’ everything…”

“I’m sure everyone’s doing their best. It’s not really our responsibility, is it, at the end of the day?”

“Perhaps it should be, Mr Cohen! No, it’s no good, we’re going to have to get the game called off… We can’t be expected to play a match of this magnitude under such conditions!”

“What… some old bloke who’s not even supposed to have anything to do with this squad goes walkabout and we all just throw in the towel?”

Cohen heard the collective gasp from the dressing room behind him. He grinned at Dannat before turning to face his players.

“Look, guys… Baker’s been a proper idol of mine since I was a kid, and I hope to God that he’s alright, but we’re doing ourselves an almighty disservice if we think we somehow ‘need’ him, just kicking around at the back of the dugout. Don’t tell me I’m alone, that you haven’t noticed how downright ridiculous his tactical decisions have been since he walked back into our lives? And I don’t know what he was playing at – maybe he really has lost the plot, or maybe this was just some elaborate way of showing us that we simply don’t need him. All I kn–”

“We didn’t need him, ‘till he waltzed back in here,” Harvey Vavasour remarked testily, “So that particular theory’s a load of crap.”

“The point is, Harves, it doesn’t matter. We were having a blip, he came in, he helped… sort of, but we’ve already got a perfectly fine manager, ain’t we? Gaffer?”

“Eh? Oh, yeah… I suppose so,” Dannat admitted sadly, via a ham sandwich.

“Remember us winning the Vahala Thingy? Making the knock-outs even while everything was going down in Zapata? Shit, we actually beat Cassadaigua over there just a few weeks ago, so why’re we worried all of a sudden? We don’t need t’search for the bloody hero inside ourselves just ‘cos Baker’s gone, arright? We just have to concentrate, play our natural game, be professional in the face of, y’know…” He performed an illuminating hand gesture. “And avoid that gurt great video cube falling on top of us, and there’s no reason why we can’t put half a dozen past them! Grow up, stop fretting, keep it on the floor, and we can have these girls done and dusted with time left for cake and buns! Now get out there!”

“Technically, Niv, there’s still half an hour to go befo–”

“GO!”

The squad filed out towards the New Sausages pitch, somewhat bemused by a less-than traditional pep talk but oddly exhilarated all the same. Dannat grabbed Cohen’s arm.

“Niv… Thanks, lad.”

“No worries. Got the armband, haven’t I? We’ll get through this together, gaffer.”

“Yeah… And, y’know… It’s what he would’ve wanted.”

It bloody well wasn’t, of course and, in any case, as speeches go it wouldn’t exactly go down with the Gettysburg Address and We Shall Fight Them on the Beaches, but still… Did the trick, eh? Six-two, seriously…

***

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football>In Brief

Big Blues cruise in dead rubber, but stormclouds gather over Little Clotaire ~ Having qualified with a game to spare, a somewhat experimental C&M side enjoyed a simple two-nil victory over a dispirited New New Mo Land, gaining some semblance of revenge for the previous two-one shock defeat in Albrecht.

Goals either side of half-time from Lawrence Amey and Tom Smith earned the three points, played in front of an entirely native crowd with Candelariasian supporters once again encouraged to remain at home over security concerns in the war-torn region. There was still plenty of opportunity for coach Elgin Dannat to come in for online criticism however, with the former Caires City manager seemingly unable to do right for doing wrong in the eyes of a substantial and vocal section of the team’s support. On this occasion, team selection was again the focus of the bulk of the ire, with critics claiming that the decision to break up the impressive XI from the previous Cassadaigua match in favour of a less familiar side served to deny the first-choice World Cup team valuable match practise as a unit.

The performance certainly leaves Dannat with major selection dilemmas, with both goalscorers pressing for return ahead of Harvey Vavasour and David Spooner, with Joel Mercado’s display also extremely solid. The game also saw Christian Fernández Montes keep a clean sheet on his first cap, while God’s Power Adekunde played a rare match in the heart of the defence alongside Caleb Christmas, with Tom Durrant starting on the left and Enrique Silva de Aviz rested.

Dannat will no doubt experiment further in the trio of pre-draw friendlies to come, a testing test of away fixtures in which trips to Kaltar and Moorcroft bookend the controversial visit to Little Clotaire. Ostensibly a testimonial for Khatib-born Sorthern Northland international Lee Waywide, the match is certain to attract the most media attention of the three across the Candelarias; but doubts remain as to the quality of side put out by the visitors amid fears over the current safety-levels in the swan-ravaged nation.

The CAMAFA has already established that no member of Dannat’s squad would be forced to travel against their will despite the organisation’s insistence that maximum levels of personal security will be provided at all times, but as yet only Eric O’Brien has formally confirmed his intention to play, despite not yet being fully fit. While that number is likely to swell before next week’s match, concerns persist that C&M may be forced to draw upon Little Clotaire locals in order to field a full team of eleven players, never mind provide a complete bench. Former Big Blues manager Kris Healy has already come out to describe the situation as ‘inane’, arguing that the morale of the squad could be severely tested by a heavy defeat to one of the world’s form teams and C&M’s closest rivals. He added that, “if the new CAMAFA leadership want to make themselves look like rank amateurs, this would be a fine way to go about it… It’s one thing hauling someone out of the crowd to act as fourth official in an emergency, or for the twelfth man on a cricket team to be a local lad if needs be, but this is just ridiculous… His [Waywide’s] achievements should be recognised, naturally, but this is just going to be embarrassing for all concerned.”

A CAMAFA spokesman was not available for comment.

Sarzonia

17-03-2009, 21:45

Unlike the emotion that accompanied Dave Wilson's final match of his first tour of duty as Sarzonia's national football team manager, the last days for Dave Wilson as IFF chairman were pretty anticlimatic.

He'd already cleared out his office, filed all the necessary paperwork and was eyeing life out of the spotlight for the first time in a long time. Granted, some of the public glare was his own doing. After all, he felt that burning desire to go manage Hypocria after he'd said his goodbyes to the Stars. Then when things didn't work out with the Hyppos, he returned for a second tour of duty prowling the Stars sidelines.

That second tenure as manager ended when he decided to devote his full attention to his duties as IFF chairman. And that decision came about when former IFF president Sir Douglas Freech of Liverpool England left. Dave Wilson knew he couldn't wear two hats at his age. He also knew that the team needed a fresh voice at the top. That was when he chose Mark Wingate as his successor. Wingate picked Dave's son Brian as his assistant coach and wanted to mold him into a national team manager.

Now, he was facing his last day as IFF chairman before Brian took over his role. For his part, Brian Wilson didn't have anything approaching the success of his legendary father. The one-time striking legend compiled a 12-11-8 record in two World Cups and a Cup of Harmony. He was 2-3-3 in friendlies. Combine the records and you have a mark of 14-14-11. However, for a team that started from the bottom and didn't have the Baptism of Fire Cup, it was a successful record.

Now, Dave would be handing the keys to Sarzonia's footballing future to his son. He and his son agreed to name technical directors to oversee both the senior national team and the Under 21 team. That gave jobs to Brett Hancock and Chris Hannan, both of whom were in contention for the senior national team managerial position. Hancock was viewed by many the favourite until Franz Braddock applied.

The IFF board of directors expressed concern about an 83-year-old applying for the national team, and some even thought it would be a one-Cup-and-done arrangement. However, Dave Wilson gave an impassioned speech after Braddock's interview. Braddock impressed everyone in the room with his knowledge of tactics and his intent to play attack-oriented football.

"Age should not be a disqualifier for any position," Dave Wilson said, echoing the sentiment Braddock himself expressed in his interview. "His passion for football and for managing is obvious. We should consider ourselves fortunate that an outstanding manager has expressed as much interest in this position as he has."

"Still, he's a foreigner," one director called from the back of the room. "We've never had a foreigner manage our national team."

"Remember Brent Vent?" Dave Wilson retorted. "He managed the Under 21 national team before we disbanded it. We shouldn't close ourselves off to foreign coaches just because they aren't Sarzonian citizens. We should evaluate all our candidates on the merits of their work."

Now that Braddock had agreed to serve as national team manager, and both Hannan and Hancock were technical directors, the team would likely undergo some transition. However, the fact that Sarzonians prefer attack-minded football will likely make the transition an easier one.

It took the five o'clock hour before Dave Wilson finally allowed himself some emotional display. His eyes grew moist as he walked out of the building for the last time and headed to his vehicle. He would take that drive home tonight and hoped to spend the rest of his days enjoying a long overdue retirement.

Sure, he'd only won the lone World Cup title as a Stars manager, but he knew he helped lead the side in the right direction a number of times. The team would be left in good hands with Franz, Chris and Brian. He was sure of that.

Cafundeu

17-03-2009, 21:47

http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/5172/lma3603dmatch04.jpg (http://img10.imageshack.us/my.php?image=lma3603dmatch04.jpg)
Franz Braddock coaching Petardos S/A during a game for the Cafundelense First Division, twenty years ago, eight before his retirement. To have an idea of how old is this picture, the third player in the bench from right to left is Lennie Newton, Petardos S/A and Wentland legend (no idea why he was in the bench). The game was against C-Electronics, currently in the third (or fourth, not sure) division.

FRANZ BRADDOCK RETURNS TO FOOTBALL!
Braddock will coach Sarzonia in his comeback to the football fields

It is the return of a legend of the Cafundelense football and - why not say - the footballing world. After twelve years retired, the coach Franz Braddock will return to work, as the coach of Sarzonia's National Team. The announcement was made yesterday by Dave Wilson, chairman of the Incorportated Football Federation. Now, the experienced coach will have a new challenge. After coaching the Cafundelense National Team for five World Cups and Petardos S/A for three full seasons, he now returns to the international scene after more than a decade. The 83-year old World Cup hall of fame member divides opinions, some commenting his style is too outdated, while others comment that his knowledge is the key for making a football team successful. Braddock is famous for his amazing performance in World Cup 32, when Cafundéu qualified in its first attempt, even defeating football giants Oliverry, The Lowland Clans and Spaam in the qualifying stage. Another good point in his career is when he reached the quarterfinals of World Cup 37, losing to Zwangzug. But he has also a very successful career with Petardos S/A, being a legend for the football team. Now in Sarzonia, Braddock will surely build an offensive but tactical team, with some interesting plays to see. "You know how I work, so it won't be a big secret the way how I'll select the players and the strategies for the National Team", said the happy coach. He was waiting for a long time to return from his retirement.

The new job as a coach of the Stars is also a personal victory for Braddock. His retirement seemed to be permanent when he was rejected as the coach of many different National Teams: Ad'ihan, Yafor 2, Newmanistan and Hypocria. And we probably missed some other in this list! "I think this is my chance to show them that talent never ceases. I know how things work here and already found success in many other teams." He also said that current Cafundéu NT assistant coach - and former attacker of the NT, being even in the WC hall of fame - Ganz Ijak will be part of his staff in Sarzonia, although he can end as being just an advisor. "He will follow me, I'll pay his wages", said Braddock. Other that will follow Braddock and Ijak to Sarzonia is the young apprentice of Braddock, Diogo Avarel. Ijak's decision to be part of Braddock's staff surprised the CCFM, and many fans now lament that two legends of the Cafundelense football are now part of a foreign country's National Team staff. "But we want the best for them", said current CCFM president Carlos Alberto Urubupungá. Talking about Hall of Fame, the CCFM also indicated the attacker Flecha for the next spot for Cafundéu. The 37-year old attacker currently plays for Malla Gukjei in Daehanjeiguk, and was very happy with the news.

Braddock is one more Cafundelense coach that is going to use his talent to help another country. This first happened with Alfredo Neves in Jeru FC (with success), and then was followed by Toki Ioshido (The Han Empire), The Scout (Nethertopia), Nelson Yaschter (Newmanistan), among other examples. But surely the most successful example is one of the less commented: Renário, current coach of Demot, who reached a World Cup final with them.

If Braddock will be able to repeat the performance of the attacker whom he used to coach (Renário), this is another history.

Sorthern Northland

17-03-2009, 22:13

“So what you're saying is that some geese were going to invade us, but they aren't now?”

“Yup, that's exactly the situation President.”

“Okay, so that's means we should offer assistance to Bostopia in their inavasion of Taeshan?”

“Yup, that'll be correct.”

“Why?”

“Well we believe the geese are now heading towards Taeshan, but will probably come back and try to attack us in a couple of weeks. So if the Bostopian's are going to be there then we might as well help them so they feel inclined to deal with the goose problem.”

“Right, but why would Bostopia do us a favour? And aren't we supposed to be neutral, how can we be neutral by sending troops to the invasion of Taeshan?”

“Simple we don't send them for the invasion. We just allow Bostopian planes to land and refuel in Sorthern Northland, and then once they've invaded Taeshan we send troops there in a 'peacekeeping' mission.”

“Right I see. Well I suppose we can allow that can't we? After all it's in the interests of international security.”

-----------------------

Evening Chronicle
Excitement builds as Waywide testimonial draws

Little Clotaire is far from a large town, the Kumquat Road ground is, by standards of grounds to have hosted a Sorthern international, small. In little over a week though it'll be the main focus of Sorthern and Candelarisian football fans as the Candelaria And Marquez national football team descend on Little Clotaire for the testimonial of Lee Waywide. While a good shindig to celebrate the career of Lee Waywide is the stated reason for the game being treated as importantly as a qualifier. For many locals in the town with a large immigrant population from Candelaria And Marquez, though, the opportunity to see the Big Blues is something that is relished.

Or even the opportunity to pull on the shirt of the Big Blues, should rumours that a number of Candelarisian players will opt out of the game due to fear of a swan attack. The security of the visiting team has been a concern for a while due to the undisputed danger of swans and geese Sorthern officials have done all they to secure safety for the visitors, with a local senior police officer claiming, “Security has really been stepped up round 'ere for the game. We've made it mandatory that all coaches have locks on their doors amongst other things. Our security operations will be tight, but we can not one hundred percent guarantee that a swan or something won't try something. These birds are unpredictable you know?”

Sorthern Northland will go into the game with confidence high, having won thirty seven points in qualifying for the World Cup. Only one nation, Starblaydia got more points as they won 38 points. Daehanjeiguk and The Holy Empire both won 37 points along with Sorthern Northland. Candelaria And Marquez meanwhile finished second in their group behind Daehanjeiguk with 28 points.

Bears Armed

17-03-2009, 22:38

(from the ‘Sports’ section of ‘The Bear Necessities’…)

BELLES BRIGHT, TORNADO BLUE!
BACK INTO THE WORLD CUP!

Kosovoe 0-2 Bears Armed

The Bear-Belles absolutely triumphed last night, as they beat Kosovoe clearly, by two goals to nil (at the latter’s own home ground of ‘Zwalgfelder Arena’), and thus won not only that game but also the third and last of their qualifying group’s places in the World Cup.
This was the make-or-break match for the Kosovoeans, as well as for our own team, and — despite the Belles having performed a very impresssive ‘harrdiharr’ just before play commenced — they came out fighting.
Beorra o Barrdenn kicked off, and once Karramarsar Sarra had returned the ball to her a minute later she attempted one of her favoured “locomotive runs” towards the opponents’ goal, but the Kosovoers boxed her in and took the ball away again... only to have their own first run at the Belles’s goal thwarted by a tackle from Urra SunBlessed, who then kicked the ball a long way downfield to Harroya o Redwood, very shortly afterwards. Possession of the ball continued to be switched frequently between the teams for the remainder of the game’s first half, with each side managing several shots “on goal” although all of those were successfully intercepted by goalkeepers or other defending players.
The Belles would still have won qualification into the Cup if this game’s final result had been the same 0-0 draw that was the case at half-time, but they wanted to win the actual game outright — to make up for having lost the previous two matches in this series — and so they continued with an attacking policy (as usual) when the second half opened. Beorra o Bardenn led a group of four other forwards and midfielders deep down the left-hand side of the Kosovoers’ half of the pitch, only for Urra SunBlessed to pass the ball sideways to Harroya o Redwood who’d made her way separately down the right-hand side and who wasn’t being effectively marked... and Harroya, shooting from 17 yards, placed the ball cleanly over Kosovoer goalkeeper Aximili Ridle’s head and (in the game’s 53rd minute) into the net: 0—1!
Play continued to be fast and furious after that, but the Kosovoers just couldn’t manage to get ta player and the ball together into a suitable location from which to shoot at the Belles’s goal again... and in the 76th minute Karramarsar Karra, with assistance from her sister Sarra, managed to score a second time for the Belles.

So, in a few weeks time, the Belles will be going to represent our country in the World cup itself, in whichever of this tournament’s two host-nations the draw specifies. But, before then, they have three more ‘friendly’ games — all ‘home’ ones, at Plumtrees Park — to play...

(Full details, page ‘S-2’.)

Peisandros

18-03-2009, 00:21

The PFA has announced it will be releasing a complete review of the World Cup after the Sandrian team finishes it's World Cup campaign with friendlies against Myedvedeya, Krytenia and Taeshan. The report should be a positive one, with only a few blemishes in an otherwise strong attempt to qualify.

Full Schedule.
Pre Friendlies
vs Bears Armed @ National Sports Arena, Olympia. 2-1.
Qualifying Stage One.
vs Bostopia @ National Sports Arena, Olympia. 0-1
vs Colbourne @ People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum. 1-0
vs Bazalonia @ Peisandros Bowl, Delphi. 1-0
at Edward City. 4-2
vs Lurikastan @ People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum. 2-2
at Kura-Pelland. 0-1
vs Mantwenic @ National Sports Arena, Olympia. 2-0.
Mid Friendlies
vs Jeruselem @ National Sports Arena, Olympia. 0-3
at Ad'ihan. 0-1
Qualifying Stage Two.
at Bostopia. 1-4
at Colbourne. 1-1
at Bazalonia. 2-2
vs Edward City @ People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum. 1-0
at Lurikastan. 2-0
vs Kura-Pelland @ National Sports Arena, Olympia. 1-1
at Mantwenic. 2-1
Post Friendlies
vs Myedvedeya (Unsure where).
at Krytenia.
at Taeshan.

New Manhattan

18-03-2009, 00:26

Post-qualifying friendly results (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14611336&postcount=18) are now up.

Sarzonia

18-03-2009, 01:30

(getting past the stupid ads)

Sarzonia

18-03-2009, 01:31

Mixed results usher in Braddock era

Kevin Wilson would have a one off opportunity to impress his potential new boss. That would come in the final match of the Mike Sarzo Memorial Cup the Stars would play in the World Cup XLV cycle.

Under the guidance of the younger brother of the former national team manager and the newly installed chairman of the Incorporated Football Federation, the Stars could generate precious little offence against Krytenia, falling 0:1 in front of a sold out crowd of 77,900 at the brand new Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia.

Following the match, the talk wasn't about the trophy, which Starblaydia won for the second consecutive tournament. It wasn't about Sarzonia's performance, which came in a meaningless match. It was about the sparkling new stadium.

"What a venue," Kevin Wilson said. "Every part of it is brilliant. ShinyPlaces really did a great job with the new stadium."

The Stars played their first match under Braddock in a fixture against world No. 11 Yafor 2 and fell to the defence-minded Yaforites 0:1. That match, played in front of a sold out crowd of 88,920 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock, featured thousands of Yaforite supporters cheering for their side against the Stars.

"It was discouraging to have fans cheering the other team in our own stadium," said goalkeeper Cody Taylor. "All the same, it was an opportunity for the new manager to see his depth players in a fixture that was long announced."

While that match may have been all about playing the depth players, the final match of the three friendly set, against world No. 6 The Han Empire at the new Iron Bowl in Portland, was a chance for Braddock to play what could be his customary starting 11 and implement his attack-minded system.

Brian Wilson talked about implementing the three-forward attack. Braddock implemented it and encouraged his players to play attack-minded football. For former assistant manager and current Under 21 national team technical director Chris Hannan, who was in the press box at the sold out Iron Bowl, with 46,220 Stars supporters crammed in to watch, it harkened back to the days of "total football on steroids" the Stars used to play.

"Sarzonia are used to playing attack-minded football," Hannan said. "Braddock will likely have to get used to who his players are and might have to have a translator explain exactly what he says to the team at first, but I think his style of play will mesh well with Sarzonia's.

"Sarzonia are used to playing attack-minded football. That's part of what makes the Stars who they are. It's one reason why I think the transition will be a fairly short one as the team gets to learn Braddock and he gets to learn his players."

As for Braddock, he was pleased with the result against The Han Empire.

"I realise this was a friendly match," he said. "But to see this team play to the level of its competition and defeat a strong Han Empire side bodes well for the future."

Jeruselem

18-03-2009, 01:40

Jeruselem Government News

Newmanistan lose to Princesses but aren't losers

Newmanistan who didn't make the finals of the World Cup 27 despite a spirited 4th placed finish in the Group 5. While being able to beat the unlucky Secristan 1-0, they could not overcome the Princesses. It was battle with Billy Prescott his girlfriend Oksana "Pups" Ferris. Pups proved she wasn't just a pretty face and good time girl with the home team prevailing 3-1. There wasn't much nastiness in the game as both teams knew there wasn't much point getting injured for a friendly with Jeruselem in finals and Newmanistan going for the Cup of Harmony.

The Newmanistan team met the new Jeruselem FA President Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas although they have met her before and know who she is. Each member of the Newmanistan team was given a small Silver duck modelled on Pup's deceased Marie the Duck as a memento of the occasion.

As for the game, Newmanistan has many chances to score but wasted all but one of them. Jeruselem had scored just one goal in three games in the last three games of qualification, admittedly the last two being scoreless draws against quality opponents who made the final 32 of the finals and Jeruselem had qualified anyway. The Princesses were at home and showed what should be done keeping the Newmanistani defense under pressure all game.

Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas invited the girls/women in the Newmanistani to go shopping with her at one of Dallas fashion shops while the guys got offered to play with some guns and bombs with Jeru FC. Billy and Pups went to the Ferris farm for some quality time together ie look at ducks to replace Marie the Duck. The new Newmanistani coach got accosted by Kate Sallad (former WC player) of Naked News Jeruselem for an interview.

Newmanistan

18-03-2009, 08:02

THE ROCKET REPORT

FRIENDLIES COMPLETED

Jeruselem- The post-qualifying friendlies officially wrapped up anything to do with the World Cup for Newmanistan. Once again, the Rockets are heading to the Cup of Harmony. Fans are reportedly not terribly excited about our soon to be effort to defend our Cup of Harmony title, which is one of the main reasons the Empire elected to put in a host bid. No matter who wins the bid, there is one definitive winner right now. Samseong, of course. They can’t go wrong either way, now can they? Allemenschen-Peisandros is considered the favorite as voters will probably point to the fact that Newmanistan has already hosted two of these recently. The 6-4-4 qualifying record shows great underachievement, but once again, Newmanistan attempted to come on strong in the second half, with a 5-1-1 record in the second leg. Under Nelson Yaschter, including the mid-qualifying friendless, Newmanistan had been 7-1-1. Two road friendlies, one next door in Secristan, resulted in a 1-nil victory, and then here in Jeruselem, resulted in a 3-1 for the Princesses. We decided to break in Nelson Yaschter to exclusive 1-on-1 interviews with the Rocket Report. Kevin Collins had the pleasure of speaking with the coach.

KC: Nelson, it’s a pleasure to sit down with you, thank you for your time.

NY: My pleasure.

KC: How has it been, first, adapting to Newmanistanian culture?

NY: There are a lot of differences between Newmanistan and Cafundeu. I find myself having to reach into my wallet so much less, and I enjoy that.

KC: I’m sure that’s a big relief! Do you ever see football being as big in Newmanistan as it is Cafundeu?

NY: No. You have to be a realist. In Cafundeu, it is far and away the biggest sport in the country. Here, you guys play weird things like gridiron and lacrosse and they are popular.

KC: Have you ever been to a gridiron game?

NY: Never. Jeremy McAllister has tried to talk me in to going to one if I can find the time. I told him that if we win the Cup of Harmony, I will go to a World Bowl game, and pay everyone’s way in.

KC: Sounds like a good incentive.

NY: It is. I don’t know if I would understand the game, but when you are playing in a tournament that you are really very disappointed to have to be in, you have to find things like that.

KC: Can Newmanistan ever be as good as Cafundeu, as a national side, in football?

NY: Yes, I believe so. It doesn’t have to be popular in the country for you not to have a good team. There is enough football talent here that can form a successful national team.

KC: Have you talked to Brian Carson at all?

NY: A couple times, but very casually.

KC: Since he left the Pocono City Capitals to coach Tenderville United, do you have any interest in going to Pocono City?

NY: Are you crazy? No offense to the Capitals, and I understand they are the Petrados S/A or Dunboor FC of Newmanistan, but I’d have to be nuts to even think about leaving where I am now.

KC: Thought you would say that, my producer made me ask you that.

NY: Even if I didn’t have the job I have, going to Pocono City wouldn’t be right. I feel that not coaching in the Empire’s league helps me have no biases with the players here.

KC: How different will the Cup of Harmony roster be?

NY: Don’t know yet.

KC: You had an interview with Naked News Jeruselem. Were you, well, clothed?

NY: I’m not 21 anymore! At my age, I better be, or else they will lose all their viewers!

KC: Sorry I’m not as hot as Kate Sallad.

NY: Why didn’t I get Meghan Traynor?

KC: Ok that’s a low blow!

NY: Sorry!

KC: She’s doing the NSCAA Tournament.

NY: The what?

KC: College basketball.

NY: Oh right. Basketball is popular in Cafundeu.

KC: Enjoy your time here, though? A lot of Rockets players play here now.

NY: That’s good, they play in a good league. The players had a great time here and we get treated very well.

KC: Alright, we’re being told we have to cut it short, and worse, because it’s going to be a segment by Meghan Traynor.

NY: I’ll be sure to stick around!

Dancougar

18-03-2009, 15:24

Dancougar News!!
http://www.cmukgb.org/activities/ctfws.php

Bells trounce Wings to retake Merchandife: Playing Bears Armed for the third time this cycle with a reduced lineup, the Dancougar Black Wings were downed 3-1 by their ursine opposition in a return trip to Plumtrees Park. The Belles took a commanding lead early that left their befuddled guests scrambling to take anything away from the game.

"They were able to exert more pressure on us and find ways to make their thundering runs," said Shigeru Takeuchi, whose team suffered its first defeat since the opening day of qualifying. "We learned a lot that helped us best them during qualifying, but at the same time, they were learning more about our style and strategies. Tactics are constantly evolving that way, and they took another step ahead tonight."

Heath Vaccarino was beaten twice in the first twenty minutes and the Bears ran the advantage to 3-0 by halftime. They threatened to turn the match into a complete rout, although a few substitutions led to a strong second half which all but cemented defender Mitchell Wolford's spot on the final roster. Dustin Garbett scored Dancougar's only goal in the 63rd and the team was unlucky not to manage one more when Alexei Voronzoff launched a free kick into the post in the 71st.

The victory transfers possession of the Shirt on Stick to Bears Armed, meaning that both of Dancougar's active challenge cups, the other being the Bird on Skates, are in opposition hands. The defunct Golden Cake Pan was in Casari's hands when the team vanished from world football. The challenge cups were born out of the team's college makeup back in the early days, where fans attempted to forge rivalries similar to those of their own schools.

Cassadaigua friendly never happens: As it turned out, nobody bothered to actually schedule the friendly match even though both FAs had agreed to play.

The Dancougar FA took responsibility for the incident, saying that its ambiguous reply to the Dagan FA likely led to confusion over who was to make arrangements for the match, which was going to take place in Cassadaigua. "Our response to their overture was a simple 'Send it in,' by which we meant, 'We are interested and will leave preparations to you,'" said one official. "But it was only belatedly that we realized that it could have been misinterpreted as a typo. It would be read as 'Sent it in,' meaning 'We are interested and have undertaken preparations ourselves.'"

This is not the first time the FA has botched a scheduled friendly, leading some fans to question its competence. The FA says it regrets the snafu and would like to travel to Cassadaigua for a friendly during World Cup 46 if the nation is still interested in establishing closer footballing ties. In the wake of the incident, several FA interns have reportedly been fired.

Takeuchi names 23 for World Cup: Dancougar will look to improve on their previous World Cup showing, three first round draws leading to their early exit, with the following roster.

Goalkeepers: Brengle, Komarov
Defenders: Bogart, Berber, Cecilia, Edrington, Heath, Sakuraba, Wolford
Midfielders: Chojnacki, Dylandy, Florentino, Hayashi, Kaizuka, Klingensmith, Landro, McNespy, Voronzoff
Forwards: Dennin, Garbett, Nagasawa, Rosberg, Stadler

Candelaria And Marquez

18-03-2009, 20:15

The National Reporter Online>Sport>Football>WC46>Miller Blog

Big Blues capture Kaltar victory ~ Their hopes of remaining a pot two team for next month’s draw may be on a knife-edge following a mediocre points haul in qualifying, but Elgin Dannat’s men have given themselves a major boost from the first of three friendlies on the road by taking a one-nil win from the AAC-Dimrar Dome against the Yaforites, a team on the precipice of the world’s top ten.

The early goal came courtesy of Abdul Ibadulla, his sixteenth C&M strike putting him alongside Joe Cunningham and Dionísio after forty-six caps. At twenty-six years of age, and with Lawrence Amey and Harvey Vavasour still jostling for a starting role, the Juavi FC captain and footballing connoisseur has arguably established himself as his country’s key man, and proved the difference in this afternoon’s otherwise quiet encounter.

Played in a very pretty splodge in the north of the Grand Democratic Duchy, ostensibly to fulfil various commercial arrangements, the game itself was as tedious as one might expect from any involving the Yaforites. Why do we insist on involving ourselves with these – and I use the term loosely, ‘people’?

If the CAMAFA love Yafor 2 so much, why don’t they go live there? This is typical of the pc establishment. We could be playing a normal country like Bostopia. But no, Yafor 2. Twice.

***

“And?”

“And, I can’t let him play. Sorry Elgin, but if you stick Caleb out there now there’s every risk of a season-ending injury. Just another couple of days rest and he’ll be fine, definitely available for the Moorcroft match, but…”

“Great. Well that’s just wonderful. So, what you’re telling me, Rory, is that we have the grand total of thirteen players left available?”

“That’s about the long and short of it,” Ruairí Quinlivan nodded cheerfully.

“And you’re quite sure you’re not just sayin’ this to try and help Sorthern Northland win?”

“Cross m’heart, Elgin. That would be deeply unethical, besides being highly unpatriotic an’ all.”

“I saw you saluting their flag on the way in, Rory…”

The Big Blues team doctor blushed. “It’s such a beautiful flag, though…”

“Aye, no jury would convict,” Dannat agreed whistfully. “Fine. Thirteen. We can cope with thirteen…”

“On that note, Elgs, they’d really quite like our team sheet an’ everything right about now,” the manager’s assistant interjected awkwardly, “And then there’s all the Waywidian presentations and then the Council Leaders of Khatib and Clotaire are doing a thing with the Mayor of Little Clotaire, an–”

“‘Doing a thing’, Alan?”

“Yeah… I dunno. A song and dance routine, a little light comedy, to me, to you, when I nod my head hit it… All very jolly. Then Tto lustily sung national anthems, job’s a good’un. But they need our first eleven now…”

“Right, right…”

Dannat stared desperately around the dressing room. Hugeish fixture between two ancientish rivals or no, there had been other considerations for many of his squad. Waterfowl abounded in these parts, and the fate of the Vespucci lad was weighing heavily on everyone’s minds. Sure, thousands of Candelariasians travelled between Sorthern Northland and Rushmore every week, but they were only muggles who could afford to take their pointless little lives into their own hands. Professional footballers couldn’t be expected to operate by the same rules regarding everyday courageousness.

Joel Sbaïz hadn’t come, though Dannat didn’t blame him. The poor lad had been awfully jumpy ever since the gorilla incident. Harry had been cajoled into coming, giving the squad its ‘keeper – Christian having opted to stay back in Clotaire, the little wuss. Although, in his case, that was largely on account of being a Radyukevich player rather than the swans.

No Gwynfardd, no Tom Durrant, no Abdul or David, no Diego, no Lawrence… they’d all bottled it. Elgin felt ashamed. They wouldn’t’ve done that for Mark Baker, would they?

“Fine, right. Back four, Austin, Enrique, Eric – you sure you’re going t’be alright to play, lad?”

Eric O’Brien nodded, wincing. He wasn’t going to miss this for the world, but it was one hell of a risk. Quinlivan had argued with him for the entire flight over, but the Irish Street native had his heart set, poor lad. Brave, though, you had to hand it to him. Brave and stupid, just like the others. Apart from the Adekunde brothers, obviously, who knew that they had the Good Lord’s protection. Dannat wished momentarily that he could share their conviction.

“Fine, it’s your funeral, lad. Gappo, you’re at left-back. Midfield – Niv, obviously, Will, Ben, Aar… Er. Where’s Ben, anyone?”

“He dropped his lunch off on the flight over and fancied a top-up, gaffer,” Austin Neal explained, “Him an’ Nic’ve gone to find the kitchen. It’s only a little stadium, innit, they’ll be back in no time…”

***

Ben Zec froze, a spoonful of cottage cheese quivering gently in the Albrecht FC midfielder’s hand.

Nic Lloyd looked up with mild interest.

“Wha’?”

Slowly, following Zec’s eyes, he turned around.

A beaky silhouette crept forward, hot breath steaming up the kitchen window. Zec edged towards the door, pulling it shut with a silent, ear-splitting click.

“Honk?”

***

Dannat and his assistants winced as O’Brien pulled up once again, clutching his thigh. The St Patrick’s physio – the Big Blues’ own regular man had stubbornly insisted on remaining at home – duly trotted on for the umpteenth time, magic sponge in tow. Dannat appeared to reach a decision.

“Right, that’s it… Bring him off.”

“You sure, Elgs?”

“We’re going t’need him fer bigger games than this. We can cope with ten men, can’t we? It’ll be good practise.”

“It would if they weren’t absolutely murdering us,” Alan Hampson muttered, performing the traditional wind-the-bobbin-up hand movement to indicate an imminent substitution, frowning, and switching to a single hand. Ten men it would have to be.

They were actually winning, that was the grating thing, just like they always did against the Northlandish. But you couldn’t get more against-the-run-of-play than big Zach’s early header and now, with ten men… this was going to be a nightmare.

Dannat picked up on his mood and sighed. “Don’t suppose anyone’s seen Ben and Nic in the last five minutes, then?”

As if in reply, there came a distant honk. Elgin and Alan shared a worried look. The manager turned to their defence coach.

“Bos, you’re in charge.”

“Eh?!”

“One thing you should know about me, Mr Mårtensson… I never leave a man behind…

***

Dannat and Hampson paced down the Kumquat’s corridors, pausing only to load a handy shotgun.

“The officials did say it was only the one goose, right?”

“The ones who ran past us all bloody and screaming? Yeah. The guys should be fine down there. Unless they’ve learned to open doors, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

*click*

***

Alan Cooper – his every touch cheered even after sixty minutes – won the ball from Zachary Adekunde – his every touch merrily booed – and played in Antony Higgins. Higgins paused, and rolled it to Caleb Edwards, who lost it to Aaron Kortsarian. Kortsarian dribbled on, Edwards appeared behind him… and this time everyone winced.

“Not exactly testimonial stuff, that,” Quinlivan gulped. “I’ll just go and make sure it doesn’t drop off…”

“Please do.” Mårtensson glanced towards Andrew Bradley, the fitness coach, who shrugged.

“We can’t possibly play with nine men, Bos. We’re clinging onto the draw as it is…”

“Yeah…”

Mårtensson’s eyes swung around desperately, to the empty bench, and back to Bradley – “Don’t even think about it, I haven’t kicked a ball in anger for three years” – to the physio, to…

“Oi! You! Funny-looking kid, stupid curly hair!”

“Ye-yess’m?”

“What’s yer name?”

“J-j-j-j-jake Swailes, mister!”

“You play a bit?”

“‘m-m-m on the b-books at St. Pat’s, sir! L-left m-m-m-midfield!”

“Got a blue and green passport?”

“Um… N-no. B-b-but I think my Nan m-m-mi–”

“That’ll do. Bradders, get the kid a shirt!”

“B-b-but I don’t, I mean, I’d rather n-not, n-n-no-one asked m-me i–”

“You, young man, are about to solve C&M’s left-sided problem. Got any boots?”

***

“Who the bleedin’ hell is that?!”

Mårtensson turned sheepishly. Dannat, his assistant and the players had returned, Alan nursing an arm in a sling and Ben Zec purposefully carrying a large aluminium ladle bent at right-angles.

“Don’t ask,” Dannat told him testily, by way of an explanation. “Who’s that?”

“Um. Jake Swailes, gaffer. Left midfield. Hundred-and-fifteenth full C&M international. His says his Nan’s fro–”

“Oh, never mind all that! Nic, get your kit on, let’s get that poor kid off before he…”

The world slowed as Joel Mercado, seeing no other option, played the ball to the feet of young Swailes on the edge of the box. He jinked one way, then another, leaving Patrick Mills on the floor and Cooper too far away to make the challenge. Kumquat Road held its breath. Jake shut his eyes, and shot…

***

“Well, all’s well that ends well, I always say.”

“Alan… We lost.”

“Oh, sure. Could’ve been ten-one though, let’s be honest. I’d say merely getting out alive is a bonus.”

“Here, here,” Nic Lloyd muttered as they boarded the coach to Beningrad International.

“Got ‘im, I did, right in the beak, I did, got ‘him right square in the beak, oh yes, just like that!”

“Yes, Benj, you did very well… It’s that wee lad I feel sorry for. Imagine lining up a strike and hitting the cornerflag like that, on yer international debut.”

Mårtensson nodded. “In my defence, he did look, y’know, sprightly and that. One for the future, possibly.”

“Far future, maybe,” Dannat said kindly, “Possibly when we’ve all been replaced by cyborgs. But Waywide got his goodbye goal, that’s probably the main thing. I’ll settle for a nice, boring goalless draw in Moorcroft though, I’ll tell you that for nothing. No lasses on the top of taxis, neither.”

“Smashed him, just when he didn’t expect it, battered him right in the snoz, just like that!”

“Ben… Perhaps it’s time you gave me the ladle.”

“But –!”

“Ben…”

“Oh, alright. But I got ‘im, I got ‘im, you can’t say I didn’t got him!”

“You’re a national hero. And the cheese grater, Ben.”

“Aww…”

***

“…istmas, avoids French, finds Pappas… Pappas can be dangerous from here, cuts inside, passes one man, passes another, Paterson’s in his path, but he finds Amey… Oh, delightful little ball, and this’ll be SpoOOOONEEEEERNO! No, saved by Gray, how did he keep that out, and that’s a solid clearance from the Atlético Insular man, but it falls to Harris! Josh Harris, the young hope of Candelariasian football has the ball now, Manchester Street is on its feet, what can this young Albrecht football do to break the deadlock, cuts past Lewis Fox, avoids a puddle, has Paterson on his tail an–”

“Playing on your own, Joshua Harris? That’s a shame…”

The boy allowed his ball to bounce one more time before he caught it. He turned around, as slowly as he could get away with. An innocent enough comment it may have been, but that voice had been textbook sinister. Candelariasians didn’t really have much use for the word ‘candy’, outside of the context of ‘floss’, but this had undeniably been candy in vocal form. Josh shivered, and turned…

Sinister? Undoubtedly. Early twenties and seriously hot? Double check. But Joshua was an educated child, and hung back even as the young woman put her hand out.

“Why not come and play with us, Joshua? We have innumerable balls, of a great many sizes.”

“Eh?”

The woman paused in thought. This tack did not appear to be having the desired effect. She took a step forward. The boy took a step back.

“Oh, I know what a boy like you would like… Just take my hand, Joshua; we have sweeties piled high! More than you could ever manage! Humbugs, gobstoppers, aniseed balls, liquorice pipes, lemonade fizzballs… And don’t forget the fruit gums! No…?”

“Seriously, you’re trying to bribe be with sweets?”

“Is that not the done thing?”

“The just-chuck-‘em-in-the-back-of-the-car-boot approach is typically favoured these days,” Joshua explained cheerfully, taking another step back. “I should warn you, by the way, that I only have to whistle and some awfully big Afro-Caribbean guys’ll jump out from behind that hedge with some really vicious dogs. There’s one called Percy, he’ll have your arm off before you even notice he’s there.”

“Sorry, would he be a dog, or… Never mind. It appears we are at something of an impasse, then.”

“Yeah. I’ll just be going then…”

“As you wish, Joshua. You wouldn’t mind just taking a step to the right though, would you?”

And much to his surprise, the boy found himself doing as he was told, his trainers leaving the pavement of their own volition, with his feet and associate legs complicit cohorts, and planting themselves firmly in the puddle by the side of the road. He stared at the gently smiling woman in panic, before his eyes were forced downwards to the suddenly murky waters… which were rising, twisting, becoming a black torrent from which he was powerless to escape. The puddle washed into his eyes and nose and mouth… and then he wasn’t there any more.

The puddle remained in its upright, cylindrical form long enough for the woman, with a serene sigh, to enter it and disappear herself. Then it gratefully collapsed back into its comforting depression in the street, from which it stubbornly refused to budge for the rest of its days, becoming a quite important watering hole for suburban wildlife during the great drought of 2087.

Percy and the dogs didn’t turn up for another ten minutes. Can’t get the staff, these days.

Sorthern Northland

19-03-2009, 00:34

Little Clotaire Morning Post
Little Clotaire community in shock

Ceder Grove Lane is a small cul-de-sac on the outer limits of Little Clotaire. Little of note tends to happen there, the residents of the cul-de-sac are a tight nit bunch though. Today, however, they are reeling from the shock of a dawn raid by the local branch of the Secret Service's Anti Anatidae-Terrorism Unit.

The raid, carried out in conjunction saw one thirty-three year old male arrested, and his house seized. Throughout the day, large quantities of objects described as evidence have been removed from the house. The early morning raid was carried out following the discovery of a goose running amok in the Kumquat Road stadium during Lee Waywide's testimonial. It is thought that the goose cornered two Candelarisian players in the stadiums kitchen before attempting to viscously peck at them whilst honking in an intimidating fashion. The players however managed to escape from the beak of death, after hitting their attacker with a nearby soup ladle in what Little Clotaire's mayor has since described as “an act of heroism and downright bravery”.

Investigations into how the goose made it into the stadium led police and anti-terror forces to Ceder Grove Lane, and in a joint statement, police and anti-terror forces said, “We can confirm that a thirty three year male has today been arrested for aiding and abetting a goose in committing an attempting terror attack. If found guilty it is likely he'll be locked away for a number of years.”

The arrest has shocked residents of the cul-de-sac with many describing him as “a quiet and thoughtful person”. Chairman of the street's Neighbourhood Watch told reporters, “It really is quite a shock. He really was a person well known round these parts for working tirelessly to make the area as good as can be. He did a lot of work for the Watch. To hear that he's in league with the swans, geese and ducks is a big shock for us all. Who knows sort of information he could have gathered from the watch and passed on to the anatidae? It doesn't bear thinking about to be honest.”

New Manhattan

19-03-2009, 00:59

World Cup 45 first round draw
The draw for the first round of World Cup 45 was held at the C4 Convention Center of Columbia, with the eleven thousand seat setup nearly filled to capacity. Capitalizt SLANI was automatically placed as the first seed in group A and Demot as the first seed in group E, with the remaining teams placed in four pots (plus the two special pots). Teams from pot 1 were automatically placed as the first team in their group, while teams from pots 2–4 were drawn into one of the other places at random. Groups A–D will be played in Paripana, and groups E–H in Demot.

Pot 1: Starblaydia, Cafundéu, Bostopia, The Han Empire, Vephrall
Pot 2: Milchama, Dancougar, Yafor 2, Jeruselem, Lovisa, Ad’ihan, Candelaria And Marquez, The Archregimancy
Pot 3: Kura-Pelland, The Holy Empire, Qazox, Sorthern Northland, Jeru FC, Septentrionia, Bazalonia, Krytenia
Pot 4: Prux, Kelssek, Rennidan, Yafalonia and Bazor 2, Bears Armed, The Bostopian Empire, Cassadaigua
Special pot 1: Valanora (to be drawn in one of groups E–H)
Special pot 4: Jasīʼyūn (to be drawn in one of groups A–D)

Group A
Capitalizt SLANI
Sorthern Northland
Prux
Ad’ihan

Matchday 1
Capitalizt SLANI vs Ad’ihan: Holmes Stadium, Columbia
Sorthern Northland vs Prux: Memorial Stadium, Sonoma City

Matchday 2
Ad’ihan vs Prux: Holmes Stadium, Columbia
Capitalizt SLANI vs Sorthern Northland: Memorial Stadium, Sonoma City

Matchday 3
Sorthern Northland vs Ad’ihan: Holmes Stadium, Columbia
Capitalizt SLANI vs Prux: Bætica Stadium, Cordubovica

Group B
Starblaydia
Lovisa
Jasīʼyūn
Jeru FC

Matchday 1
Starblaydia vs Jeru FC: C4Stadion, Metrewalk
Lovisa vs Jasīʼyūn: Sokojiʼwa Gyūŋgijaŋ, Sokojiʼwa Dosi

Matchday 2
Jeru FC vs Jasīʼyūn: C4Stadion, Metrewalk
Starblaydia vs Lovisa: Sokojiʼwa Gyūŋgijaŋ, Sokojiʼwa Dosi

Matchday 3
Lovisa vs Jeru FC: C4Stadion, Metrewalk
Starblaydia vs Jasīʼyūn: Stádie Montánire, High Mountain

Group C
Cafundéu
The Bostopian Empire
Dancougar
Qazox

Matchday 1
Cafundéu vs Qazox: Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt
The Bostopian Empire vs Dancougar: Sokojito Überdome, Sokojito Dosi

Matchday 2
Qazox vs Dancougar: Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt
Cafundéu vs The Bostopian Empire: Sokojito Überdome, Sokojito Dosi

Matchday 3
The Bostopian Empire vs Qazox: Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt
Cafundéu vs Dancougar: Capitalizm, ʼYupo

Group D
The Han Empire
Jeruselem
The Holy Empire
Bears Armed

Matchday 1
The Han Empire vs Bears Armed: Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center
Jeruselem vs The Holy Empire: Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights

Matchday 2
Bears Armed vs The Holy Empire: Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center
The Han Empire vs Jeruselem: Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights

Matchday 3
Jeruselem vs Bears Armed: Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center
The Han Empire vs The Holy Empire: Querzakhi Olympic Stadium, Querzakhi

Group E
Demot
Kelssek
Septentrionia
The Archregimancy

Matchday 1
Demot vs The Archregimancy: Dominier Dwelling, Mirria
Kelssek vs Septentrionia: Skyhaven Citadel, Skyhaven

Matchday 2
The Archregimancy vs Septentrionia: Itiris, Santa Rosa
Demot vs Kelssek: Masteron Stadium, Santa Rosa

Matchday 3
Kelssek vs The Archregimancy: Dominier Dwelling, Mirria
Demot vs Septentrionia: Skyhaven Citadel, Skyhaven

Group F
Vephrall
Milchama
Cassadaigua
Kura-Pelland

Matchday 1
Vephrall vs Kura-Pelland: Itiris, Santa Rosa
Milchama vs Cassadaigua: Masteron Stadium, Santa Rosa

Matchday 2
Kura-Pelland vs Cassadaigua: Dominier Dwelling, Mirria
Vephrall vs Milchama: Skyhaven Citadel, Skyhaven

Matchday 3
Milchama vs Kura-Pelland: Itiris, Santa Rosa
Vephrall vs Cassadaigua: Masteron Stadium, Santa Rosa

Group G
Bostopia
Krytenia
Yafalonia and Bazor 2
Yafor 2

Matchday 1
Bostopia vs Yafor 2: Thunderbluff, Freestone
Krytenia vs Yafalonia and Bazor 2: The Driad, Villian

Matchday 2
Yafor 2 vs Yafalonia and Bazor 2: Dynamo Park, Skyhaven
Bostopia vs Krytenia: Horrus Ground, Parthen

Matchday 3
Krytenia vs Yafor 2: The Driad, Villian
Bostopia vs Yafalonia and Bazor 2: Thunderbluff, Freestone

Group H
Valanora
Candelaria And Marquez
Rennidan
Bazalonia

Matchday 1
Valanora vs Bazalonia: Horrus Ground, Parthen
Candelaria And Marquez vs Rennidan: Dynamo Park, Skyhaven

Matchday 2
Bazalonia vs Rennidan: The Driad, Villian
Valanora vs Candelaria And Marquez: Thunderbluff, Freestone

Matchday 3
Candelaria And Marquez vs Bazalonia: Horrus Ground, Parthen
Valanora vs Rennidan: Dynamo Park, Skyhaven

Second round fixtures
winner group A vs runner-up group D: Memorial Stadium, Sonoma City
winner group B vs runner-up group C: Sokojiʼwa Gyūŋgijaŋ, Sokojiʼwa Dosi
winner group C vs runner-up group B: Sokojito Überdome, Sokojito Dosi
winner group D vs runner-up group A: Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights
winner group E vs runner-up group H: Dominier Dwelling, Mirria
winner group F vs runner-up group G: Itiris, Santa Rosa
winner group G vs runner-up group F: Horrus Ground, Parthen
winner group H vs runner-up group E: Thunderbluff, Freestone

Quarterfinal fixtures
winner match 1 vs winner match 2: C4Stadion, Metrewalk
winner match 3 vs winner match 4: Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt
winner match 5 vs winner match 6: Skyhaven Citadel, Skyhaven
winner match 7 vs winner match 8: Masteron Stadium, Santa Rosa

Semifinal fixtures
winner quarterfinal 1 vs winner quarterfinal 2: Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center
winner quarterfinal 3 vs winner quarterfinal 4: Thunderbluff, Freestone

Third place match
loser semifinal 1 vs loser semifinal 2: Dominier Dwelling, Mirria (Demot)

Final
winner semifinal 1 vs winner semifinal 2: Holmes Stadium, Columbia (Paripana)

Stadium information: Paripana (groups A–D) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14566036&postcount=57) · Demot (groups E–H) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14545617&postcount=9)

Qazox

19-03-2009, 03:43

Saint Nash Courier
If you haven't heard it before, It's News to you!
SPORTS
Pheonix get difficult draw

Personally, I think the pots are rigged. Qazox has to face Dancougar for a third time this World Cup Cycle, and face a familar foe in Cafundéu. And they have to face a break-off nation of Bostopia, that dammned team, in The Bostopian Empire.

Previous Meetings with Group C teams:

CAFUNDEU:
Last Meeting: Won at World Cup 41 @ Stade Aéroport (World Cup 2nd round)
Series: 2-1 Cafundeu (GF:3 GA:5 GD:-2)
OFFICAL MEETINGS:
WC38 MD1: @ Kura-Pelland Lost 1-3
WC39 MD2: @ Valanora Lost 0-1
WC41 R16: @ Ad'ihan WIN 2-1

(Teams have met 6 times in Oxen Cup with Cafundeu holding a 5-1-0 series advantage)

DANCOUGAR:
Last Meeting: Lost 0-1 vs. Dancougar (MD 8 WC45 Qualifiers)
Series: 2-2 (GF:8 GA:8 GD:0)
OFFICAL MEETINGS:
WC44Q MD7 vs. Dancougar WIN 2-1
WC44Q MD14 @ Dancougar Lost 1-4
WC45Q MD1 @ Dancougar WIN 5-2
WC45Q MD8 vs. Dancougar Lost 0-1

THE BOSTOPIAN EMPIRE:
Last Meeting: NONE (first meeting)
Series: n/a
OFFICAL MEETINGS:
None

Of the three matches, the Dancougar match will be the most important one, for three reasons: Firstly, the winner of that match (if there is one), should be be in good position to advance to the 2nd round. Secondly, it would break the H2H tie between the two teams this World Cup Cycle. And Thirdly, it will be a dammned good matchup.

A full preview for the World Cup is coming tommorrow.

SCHEDULE:
MD1: Cafundéu @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt
MD2: Dancougar @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt
MD3: The Bostopian Empire @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt

Jeruselem

19-03-2009, 04:57

Jacinta: Hello! This is Jacinta Dallas here. I'm the President of the Jeruselem FA if you didn't know by now. I'm with the coach Ryan Greenly and team captain ... who's my sister Marie-Antoinette. Let's talk the World Cup finals groups.
Ryan: Hello to everyone in Jeruselem and Qazox too.
Marie: Yes, it's knock out time - no second chances here.

Jacinta: Right, let's talk Qazox first. Qazox got drawn in Group C.
Ryan: The Pheonix face the finalists from World Cup 44 Cafundéu, the super annoying Dancougar and the wannabe Bostopias from The Bostopian Empire.
Marie: I fully expect Cafundéu to be best team in this group.
Jacinta: All the other teams here are contenders to make the 2nd round.

Ryan: Qazox aren't favourites to do that due to our crap record in the group stage here.
Marie: Dancougar are capable of doing well, even without giant robots with huge guns.
Jacinta: Don't write off The Bostopian Empire, which isn't Bostopia. They have done well to be here. Let's have predictions man!

Ryan: The Pheonix and the Monopolists ... but knowing the Pheonix ... well
Marie: Monopolists and the robot loving Dancougar is my pick.
Jacinta: I'm going Monopolists, and big upset with the wannabe Bostopians.
Ryan: Only real Qazians pick Qazox to make it.

Jacinta: Right, Jeru FC or the Cannons ... face a big task in Group B
Marie: Yes, they run into the Purple Menace AGAIN along with Lovisa and some Asians who aren't the Han from Jasi'yun.
Ryan: Is it me or Jeru FC always find a way to play the Purple Menace.
Marie: Yes, they do. Poor Jeru FC. Ryan, you used to be Jeru FC coach ... what to you think?

Ryan: As much as I respect the good Count, and his merry men or women ... I'm not picking then this time round. The Purple Menace and Lovisa.
Marie: I think Jeru FC could do it, along with them purple people eaters.
Jacinta: As a product of Jeru FC, I'm backing my Jeru FC even if it is misplaced like Ryan backing Qazox.

Marie: OK, down to Group D ... another big challenge for us.
Ryan: Yes, the Holy Empire, them Han and ... Bears Armed.
Jacinta: Yes, it means the Princesses have to fight off bears with weapons.
Marie: And stop he invading Han chinese with their huge armies.

Jacinta: And defeat the forces of Orthordox Christianity.
Ryan: And yes, that's me who's the one responsible.
Jacinta: That's why you're here.
Ryan: You make it sound really hard.

Marie: I think we can disarm the bears and drive the Byzantines back to Byzantium. I think the hard game is one against the crazy Han.
Jacinta: I don't care what the outcome is as long as the Princesses make the next round.
Ryan: I think it might be Han and us.
Marie: Well, everyone is going blame me and Ryan if we don't.

Jacinta: And me ...
Ryan: Girls, it's all down to me really.
Marie: We can't afford not to make it like last time.
Jacinta: I'd like to be first Jeruselem FA president when we win this cup.

Prux

19-03-2009, 06:39

Prux@WC45.com
Tough Row to Hoe for Adverts

The Good News: No Starblaydia, Valanora or Daehanjeiguk in our group.

The Bad News: Co-hosts Capitalizt SLANI, Sorthern Northland and Ad'ihan are.

The Worse News: This isn't the worst group we could have been in.

The Might-be-Good News: We might be able to get a draw with SN and maybe Ad'ihan, but no real chance of making it to the 2nd round.

The Schadenfreude News: Qazox was jobbed in their Group draw! Dancougar and WC 44 runner's up Cafundeu? They'll be lucky if Prux doesn't have a better record or GD!

Prux World Cup 45 Qualifying Schedule:

(All 1st half matches were played at a baseball field: McCoy Stadium in Pawtucket, capacity 21,963.)
(all 2nd half Home Matches to be played the Griffin Stadium in Pawtucket, Prux, Capacity 67,500.)
@ Ierissos D 1-1
vs. Rymeria W 5-3
@ Milchama L 1-2
vs. Govindia W 6-1
@ Akbarabad W 2-0
vs. Septentrionia W 4-3
@ Arroza W 2-0
vs. Ierissos W 1-0
@ Rymeria W 1-0
vs. Milchama D 2-2
@ Govindia W 5-1
vs. Akbarabad W 1-0
@ Septentrionia L 0-1
vs. Arroza D 2-2
(RECORD: 9-3-2)
World Cup 45 (Group ??) @ ???
M1: Sorthern Northland @ Memorial Stadium, Sonoma City
M2: Ad’ihan @ Holmes Stadium, Columbia
M3: Capitalizt SLANI @ Bætica Stadium, Cordubovica
WC Record: ( - - )

Jeru FC

19-03-2009, 07:39

Count: We're doomed ...
Kaye: Starblaydia AGAIN!
Count: At least it's not them Elves again.
Kaye: I'd rather play Elves than them Purple people.

Count: At least we made the finals.
Kaye: It's better than nothing but ...
Count: You want the cash bonuses then
Kaye: Yeah, so I can buy a car.

Count: So what happens if you don't get the money.
Kaye: I'll just get by with the scooter.
Count: What's wrong with the scooter?
Kaye: Well, I want to go shopping and actually carry stuff home.

Count: Well, I see your point there.
Kaye: Say, don't you have two cars?
Count: Oh yes I do, why?
Kaye: I don't suppose you don't need one?

Count: Sorry, I use both.
Kaye: I'll just suffer then.
Count: We can do our best.
Kaye: But our best isn't what we're really capable off as you know.

Ben Roid: Hey, how I do look man!
Kaye: Gay ...
Count: Picking up men or chicks?
Ben Roid: I'm not GAY! I'm a metrosexual.

Kaye: How come there's so many gay people in the army?
Count: Don't ask me.
Ben Roid: I'm not one of them. There's women who like this look.
Kaye: I like my men to be men, not girly men.

Ben Roid: Stop being fussy, this is in look man.
Count: I'm too old to catch up with these trends. Anyway, come on team ... back to training.
Kaye: We're just wasting our time, we aren't going to beat them Purple people or anyone else.
Count: We have to try anyway, we beat them Elves where Jeruselem couldn't.

Gray: Hey, poofy ... why are you wearing women's shorts.
Ben Roid: They are not women's shorts.
Kaye: I'm wearing one of those.
Gray: You just need the matching dress man.

Ben Roid: There's no difference between the men's and women's shorts.
Count: The women's one tighter actually, the guy's one is looser and baggy.
Kaye: Yeah, it's for a woman's figure.
Ben Roid: Baggy stuff is for Gay people.

Cassadaigua

19-03-2009, 14:08

Courtney’s Space

The celebrations have finally toned down and now we embark on the journey of trying to do something in World Cup 45. No one expects anything out of us, and if I weren’t Cassadagan, I’d probably think the same way. Michelle Fuller, who plays professionally in Dancougar, and knows some of their players, told me about one major difference between us and the Black Wings. For Dancougar, there were no crazy celebrations because they qualified. It was more of a sense of relief as they had a battle in their own group, but when it is an expectation, things are different. Those are the teams with their eyes on the bigger prize, and while we are all fantasizing about shocking the world and winning the World Cup, we’ll take whatever we can get here. Make no mistake, we will be going all out for three victories in the group stage. Though our opponents will look at their match against us as the one they need to win, we’re not going to make things easy on them.

The group draw was released, and for us older sentimental types, it was just a thrill to see our name up on the board with likes of Valanora, Starblaydia, and so many others. We have been drawn into Group F with Milchama, Kura-Pelland, and Vephrall, and will be playing in Demot. Wow! Milchama comes from qualifying group three, where they won the group, winning eleven and drawing twice in their fourteen games. Vephrall also won their group, going undefeated in group five, though they did have five draws. Kura-Pelland finish third in group nine with seven wins and five draws in their games. They had a close call in their group, only making it in by a point over Peisandros. Very soon we will know if we have what it takes against these rivals.

We thought that we were going to have a post-qualifying friendly against Dancougar and had been preparing for it. However, we were told at the last minute that CASE did not file the appropriate paperwork with the organizers, so any match that we were to play would not be recognized as an official friendly, so both nations just decided not to bother as you don't want to risk injuries to players in a friendly, and you especially don't want to lose players in a friendly that isn't even a friendly. There were some CASE personnel that were fired in the mix up and while I hate to see people lose their jobs, it was a let down not to play this match. It would have been a good test for us. To everyone out there, I will be going into my reader mailbox to pick out questions to answer in tomorrow's blog, so if you want to know something or ask me anything, maybe I'll answer it here!

Bears Armed

19-03-2009, 19:43

In the city of ‘Council Groves’ (the capital of ‘Bears Armed’…), within a large building — a very fine example of the ‘Bearroque’ style of architecture — that is situated close to the ‘Hall of the High Council’ (which is where the national government meets), four people are sitting in comfortable armchairs around a table and chatting casually with each other.
There is a sudden burst of multi-coloured light, a few yards outside one of that room’s windows, as a Raven appears there from out of thin air. That bird (which, if one looks closely, is wearing a collar of intertwined silver chains around its neck…) then flies into the room, lands on the table, nods its head politely to one of the seated individuals and addresses him:
“Here’s the draw for the Cup, Minister, all the way from Columbia.” It drops an envelope out from under one of its wings, and the person to whom it was speaking — a male Ursine, with dark brown fur, who is wearing a white suit — picks this up.
“Thank you, Korrwarr Trarr,” he tells the bird. “Your promptness is’ as always, exemplary. Will you be staying for the rest of this meeting?”
“I will be doing so, yes,” it replies. “There is a relevant matter that the elders of my clan have instructed me to raise here, once this council’s main business has been done.”
“Intriguing…” the Ursine — Harron o Harruorr by name, and Minister for International Sport by current job—comments. “Well we’d better get on with that business, then, hadn’t we?” He opens the envelope, withdraws a sheet of paper from it, and scans down this until he finds the appropriate section. “Group D, playing in the territory of ‘Capitalizt SLANI’. First seed — and the Belles’ first opponent — is ‘The Empire of the Han’. Hr’rmm, that’s a team that the Belles haven’t met before this, does anybody here know anything about them? Arri?” He turns to face the person sitting at his right, a male Human (dressed in a smart, but not overly expensive, suit) whose once-dark hair now contains quite a bit of silver: This is ‘Arri Thunder’, also known as Bob Smith, the team’s manager & chief coach.
“I’ve never played against them either, or played in their country otherwise, but they have a high reputation... Number 6 in the overall NSWCC list, I think. Their being the ‘first seed’ probably reflects their overall level of ability; they’d be the most likely team in the group to claim one of the two places in the next round. Let’s see how they did in the qualifiers…” (He opens a notebook that was on the table in front of him, and skims a couple of pages.)
“Won 12, drew 1, lost and only 1... and both of those non-wins were against decent teams, rather than no-hopers; 38 goals ‘for’, 8 goals ‘against’, so a difference of +30… and 37 points, out of a maximum possible of 42… yep, they’ll be a tough team to beat. Still, they’ve never had to face the Belles before, either , and our girls do have the momentum from four consecutive victories themselves — even if the last three of those were only friendlies’ — to boost their morale…”

(Continued here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14619530&postcount=579)...)

Septentrionia

19-03-2009, 20:12

*In one of the dressing rooms in Skyhaven Citadel*

Alain Bellemare: Ok guys, a good news and a bad news: the bad news is that we're not going to play those slani Bostopians this cup.

*Players drop their hologram creators and the white blankets*

AB: The good news is that we're going to play all of our group stage matches in Septentrionia-built stadia. Their architects placed some "unintentional", as they said, flaws on the ground. I heard that the groundskeeper tried to rule that problem, but vastly failed. Today, we'll try to exploit them as we train.

*After the training*

AB: Good job boys. You now know what to do to beat... KELSSEK??!?!?? Why did I even try to make you train? I mean: we can understand their broken french easier than they can understand ours. How would we not beat them?

Martin Vachon: By not playing against them, I suppose?

AB: But I just gave you RPinin. How could we not win with it?

MV: It only increases our chances, boss.

AB: Yeah, true... We can still win thanks to them surrendering, no?

Nicolas Leduc: But we're more likely to do so than them...

AB: This is a clear lie. We're not surrenderers. I mean: it's not because we play with a white flag hidden under our shirt that we always surrender. No? Guys? Don't let me down! Please?

*Meanwhile, on the other side of the room*

Serge Giguère: Benoît, should we go to the club tonight?

Benoît Beaudry: Nah, I don't want to meet girls.

SG: Meeting girls? What are you talking about? We are in Demot, there is no decent girl in here.

BB: No? Then why do you want to go clubbing?

SG: I was speaking of a kind of special club. You know? Those where druids hang out with orthodoxes and Breno Gavião.

BB: I don't see what you mean...

SG: You don't... you know, those clubs a Bostopian would never visit...

BB: A gay club?

SG: No... that's the one they "claim" they don't visit but visit often.

BB: Ah... an international club!

SG: Yes! You finally got it! And, as we're tolerants, we're going there with two Han girls. We'll look good, I promise you.

BB: But I told you I didn't want to meet women...

SG: Well, come alone then. You'll just look more racist.

Kura-Pelland

19-03-2009, 20:13

This post transposition is bought to you by Corganen - the now-bankrupt-and-part-nationalised Kura-Pellandi building society.

Dancougar

20-03-2009, 01:06

Dancougar News!!
Friggit, Northern Iowa. You were my 12-over-5.

Familiar faces abound in World Cup Group C: The Dancougar Black Wings will be renewing footballing relations with two of their World Cup groupmates and will play the third in a rubber match for this cycle. Cafundeu, The Bostopian Empire, and Qazox will battle it out with the Wings for a shot at the knockout stage and World Cup glory.

Shigeru Takeuchi was expected to get the team this far when he was replaced Solomon Bilbao before qualifying began. But whether or not he'll be able to improve on their three-point showing World Cup 44 remains to be seen, given that they'll have to run up against that tournament's runner-up and the team that humiliated them 5-2 at home during qualifying. "When I was with [Shuukyuu Kishin], I coached in the TakilQuip, so it's not like I'm completely green as a coach," said Takeuchi. Of course, in eight trips to the world's premier club football competition, he only maneuvered them past the group stage once.

Cafundeu is a nation with which many Dancougarans are already very familiar. It was the home of many first- and second-generation players such as Hideo Ikeda, Yuji Watanabe, and Shishio Jinguuji. It was the popularity of Ikeda that led to Chuuoushi, his home city, naming its D-League team after Ikeda's Cafundeulese club, America. Purchase by a Cafundeulese club became the way to tell that a Dancougaran had "made it" as a footballer, and of all foreign leagues beamed into Dancougar, Cafundeu's is the most popular. Yet for as much reverence there is, fans are keenly aware that the Monopolists are, despite all that, beatable.

The two nations have faced each other three times in World Cup competition, all coming in the World Cup 40 cycle. Dancougar, then ranked 52nd in the world, opened qualifying with a sensational upset. Hosting 8th ranked Cafundeu, the Wings kept the game close, 2-2 at halftime, and pulled away in the secone half to notch a 5-3 victory. In the return leg, they were thrashed 6-2, but they managed to qualify for World Cup through the playoffs. They met Cafundeu in the final group stage match, and the way it played out, a victory would see them through despite losing their first two matches. Then-coach Charles du Pont threw everyone forward, figuring his side had nothing to lose, and Shiro Furuya scored the winner in the 86th minute to get Dancougar into the knockout stage.

Lyle Dylandy is the only Cafundeu-based player still active on the national team, as most others either retired from international play or were overlooked in order to develop younger D-League players. "The atmosphere for one of their games is always a great one, so I'm definitely looking forward to it," said Dylandy. "I know a bunch of those guys from the league and we're working some of that into the gameplan, but it's going to take a total effort to get a result. They've been playing great team defense."

Another team the Wings have a lot of intelligence on is Qazox, although it's of a more recent quality. The Wings and Phoenix have been drawn together in qualifying for the previous two tournaments, so their group stage match will be the fifth World Cup meeting between the two. Currently, the balance sheet stands even with two wins apiece, eight goals for, eight goals against. Early analysis gives the winner of their match the best chance at advancing, with Cafundeu a virtual lock.

"We were really unprepared the first time we played them, and they walked all over us," said Stefan Rosberg, who had five goals in his qualifying debut. "Even in that second game, they had a step on us most of the way." Much of that has been attributed to the scouting done by Raul de Olivares, a striker for the D-League's FC Takano 1983 when he's not serving as national team manager for the Phoenix.

But the Phoenix have more than planning on their side. The entire team is bursting with energy as a result of a hard reset by the Qazox FA, which started qualifying with an under-21 squad that produced incredible results. Dancougar has also attempted to bring in more young players in this tournament, but they still rely on the veteran experience of thirtysomethings Alexei Voronzoff and Dylandy. So while the Wings may have a slight edge in technical ability, they'll be hard-pressed to compete with the Phoenix for pace. It will be an exciting battle to see which team can impose its will on the other.

The third team in the group, The Bostopian Empire, debuted two tournaments ago and were in Dancougar's qualifying group. They played each other on the second matchday and the Wings were merciless, scoring three times in the first half hour en route to a 7-1 victory in Yuki City. The away leg was a more modest 2-0 win. The 9-1 aggregate score fed into Dancougar's 10-2-2 record and ensured qualification for World Cup 43. Although the Empire split off from Bostopia proper and was left to their own devices, the Wings would get on the parent nation's bad side anyway with a penalty shootout victory in the round of sixteen that has forever drawn the ire of Emperor Boston.

The Empire cannot be considered a walkover, though. They've come far in their short existence and finished a strong second in their qualifying group at 9-3-2. They could be a dark horse and ensure that nobody in Group C gets off easy. "They look completely different from the Bostopian Empire I remember," said Dylandy, "but that just shows you how quickly football evolves. Yesterday's nobodies can become today's champions with a few lucky bounces."

The Dancougar News!! offers its predictions for Group C:
Cafundeu 3-3 Qazox
The Bostopian Empire 1-2 Dancougar
Qazox 2-1 Dancougar
Cafundeu 2-0 The Bostopian Empire
The Bostopian Empire 2-2 Qazox
Cafundeu 2-1 Dancougar

Team W D L GF GA Diff Pts
Cafundeu 2 1 0 7 4 +3 7
Qazox 1 2 0 7 6 +1 5
Dancougar 1 0 2 4 5 -1 3
The Bostopian Empire 0 1 2 3 6 -3 1

Kura-Pelland

20-03-2009, 01:13

A generation of Kura-Pellandi players have the ultimate chance to make a name for themselves in an incredibly dramatic Group F of World Cup 45, and above all in its opening match - the first ever Vircais derby in the World Cup, and the first competitive clash between the two teams ever to take place on neutral soil.

And after Vephrall come Milchama and Cassadaigua.

"This could only have been more exciting if we got C&M in as well," suggested goalkeeper Paul Hodgson. "To play Vephrall in the World Cup is an incredible opportunity - we know they have developed better than us in recent years but we have a strong, young team that can greatly improve and we know that in one-off matches anything can happen."

One of those young players is Nicolás Gaga (full name Gaston Nicolás Garmendia Larrea), a precocious 19-year-old central midfielder who has become a massive cult hero at Marthley Rovers thanks to a penchant for long-range strikes and a fierce dislike of uber-wealthy, yet self-collapsing, local rivals Porterbridge City. He says "this team is nowhere near finished but we are desperate to prove we are already ready to compete".

General consensus is that the result against Milchama will prove critical, but there is a real fear of a slip-up against Cassadaigua's all-female side, and Vephrall could drop points to either or both of their main rivals.

Milchama

20-03-2009, 02:39

And now some very misinformed Milchamians.

"Well it looks like we're playing Parker Law"

"Man he was awesome, the only time ever in their history that FC Doom were any good, he was one hell of a player."

"That he was"

"Apparently he is also a great coach."

"Yeh he got Vephrall to play good, almost like Bedistan."

"Bah! Bulls--- they aren't going to win a World Cup"

"So? They qualified, that's pretty hard"

"Good point"

"He is a good coach"

"Fine they still won't beat the mystery Warriors"

"Nope"

"That was my point"

"Oh"

"Go Cubs!"

"What about the other teams?"

"Fuck them"

"ok"

"Go Cubs"

"Come on you Warriors"

"That too"

Jeruselem

20-03-2009, 04:00

At a Jeruselem airport. The World Cup cup team are joined by Mary Sallad.

Ryan: Hello Mary, I thought you retired from Naked News Jeruselem?
Mary: I've been sent along with you lot to cover the World Cup finals.
Ryan: You're not going be naked, are you?
Mary: I'm probably not allowed to.

Ryan: Oh good ... but we have Kara Kool already.
Mary: No, she works for JGN - Naked News Jeruselem is a different organisation.
Ryan: Oh yes, that's right.
Mary: Don't worry, I'll behave myself.

Ryan: Why didn't they sent Kate or Jacinta?
Mary: It's my last assignment. I guess it's my last World Cup assignment too.
Ryan: So what are you going to do with your free time?
Mary: Spend more time with my sister, Dazza and the grandkids.

Ryan: I don't suppose you could help me around too.
Mary: Marie's kids? Sure!
Ryan: How come you're not married?
Mary: I don't know, but I've got my kids still.

Ryan: You're not too old
Mary: These days, men are looking for younger women.
Ryan: I'm sure a man would like to have Mary Sallad, you are a Dallas.
Mary: Maybe, but I'm not putting myself on the market as yet.

Ryan: How's your sister going?
Mary: Getting used to being retired.
Ryan: Bored then?
Mary: I think she's going find a new hobby to stop being bored.

Ryan: I hear one must keep the mind active to stop going senile.
Mary: Makes sense, one must be active in mind and body.
Ryan: You look hung over.
Mary: Not as young as I used to be. Longer recoveries.

Ryan: Let's hope retirement is good for you.
Mary: I'll miss those interviews.
Ryan: The ones where you're naked?
Mary: Of course, it's the only way man!

Ryan: I'm surrounded by Dallas women ...
Mary: What do you mean?
Ryan: My wife, Matilda, Sadie and now you.
Mary: We're all family.

Ryan: Looks like we're ready to head off.
Mary: Where's the kids?
Ryan: I think they are with Marie.
Mary: They seem to be growing up fast.

Ryan: That's because they were small in the first place.
Mary: My kids were small too.

Daehanjeiguk

20-03-2009, 04:50

World Cup 45 Qualification - Group 2
PRQ: 1-3@ Newmanistan [32] (@ Putnam Lake Stadium, Putnam Lake - ???)
MD1: 2-2 @ Greal [43] (@ who knows where?)
MD2: 1-0 @ Taeshan [31] (@ %$#^)
MD3: 2-0 @ Albundania [UNK] (@ here?)
MD4: 2-3@ Cassadaigua [50] (@ pink!)
MD5: 2-1 vs Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MD6: 1-0 @ Mo Land 3 [141] (@ gemme moland!)
MD7: 4-1 vs Achtervolging [98] (@ Dynasty Imperial Football Stadium, Namgyeong - 51,000)
MQ: @ Booblybobbers
MD8: 2-0 vs Greal [43] (@ Goguryeo Football Stadium, Pyeongyang - 52,000)
MD9: 6-0 vs Taeshan [31] (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD10: 4-0 vs Albundania [UNK] (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD11: 3-0 vs Cassadaigua [50] (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD12: 2-1 @ Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Millerman Sheppard Stadium, Albrecht - 40,614)
MD13: 3-0 vs Mo Land 3 [141] (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD14: 4-0 @ Achtervolging [98] (@ ah-choo!)
PTQ: 0-1 @ Sarzonia [56] (@ The Iron Bowl, Portland - 46,220)
World Cup Finals - Group D
MD1: vs Bears Armed [] (@ Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center - 171,337)
MD2: vs Jeruselem [] (@ Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights - 180,278)
MD3: vs The Holy Empire (@ Querzakhi Olympic Stadium, Querzakhi - 157,080)

*** Spring Palace, Hangyeong ***

"... and the Emperor Chungjong's final records will be finished within the next two years. I believe it is perfect in accordance with the rituals concerning mourning."

"That's very good," Yeongmu replied. The burdens of burying a father and Emperor were starting to catch up to him, and ever since he's put the Imperial forces at top alert, he's been thinking that getting involved in a potentially costly foreign war might not be the best thing in view of the rites. Bostopia has declared war, and it was likely that they'd fix the problems concerning the geese and such. After all, he was certain that once the Candelariasians received their message from their own Green Island, concerning some spattering of condolences and threats, they would take care of that problem. And Yeongmu had enough problems of his own to take care.

"Pyei-ha? We need your authorization?"

"Ah..." The Emperor quickly reached over to his left hand side and pulled out a giant jade stone. He rested it firmly upon the piece of paper, with a wax cover, leaving behind the mark of a dragon and the Imperial crest - his signature in a sense. The ministers bowed as they stole away the paper and returned to their tasks of compiling the full history of the late Gwangmu Emperor (now the Chungjong Emperor).

"One own, ten thousand left," he murmured to himself. Another messenger immediately came in, bearing a bright disposition. "Pyei-ha," he said, "I lament that Count Jeong Mongjun was unable to attend the Group Draw ceremonies, but he made certain that a copy of the draw was submitted to you. I have them presently."

"Ah... which group?"

"Group D (4)."

"D (4)?"

"Yes, sire."

"Oh, that's never good."

"We are drawn as the top seeds against Jeruselem, the Holy Empire, and Bears Armed."

"Oh... that's not good at all."

While you might be tempted to think about the football, the Emperor was more concerned about the political situation. Officially, the Han Empire does not hold any official recognized ties with Jeruselem, in response to a number of their "barbaric" practices. While he allowed the competition to proceed in the spirit of the game, he never liked the opportunity to test the limits of political restraint. And then the Holy Empire - heck, it's not even a real country. How do you make recognition with a country like that? For a time, they simply call the two countries as one - Mongsang Yeongyeok (Dream Dominion); but it was nothing official, and there was hardly any way for the Empire to actually confirm any real domain that was imaginary, even if it were imaginarily real. That would be a pickle to chew. And then Bears... well... that's not so off the top... perhaps it's just that the other two seem to make it so much worse to trying signing a recognition pact and ascribing a name for a country of bears. Jeruselem and the Holy Empire...

"I'm sorry to bring you this news."

"That's okay. You're doing your job; I couldn't ask for more or less."

"By your leave, your Majesty."

"Of course." The Emperor dismissed the messenger, leaving the Emperor alone to imagine what was the next course of action.

*** Some Capital of Some Country ***

"Do you have your passport?"

The attendant was looking vaguely at the man. He was a largely suspicious character, but then again, nearly every person passing through these lands were also suspicious characters. At least, most of the Han people anyways. The man gave no name, but his passport said "Jang Hwanyang". It was issued by some completely obscure country, so much so that people only continued to believe that it existed still because there were still so many passports issued from that land. It could have said "Bedistan" for all that the attendants cared for, it was somehow a legitimate copy.

"Very well," the attendant said, pressing a stamp upon the man's passport. "I hope that you enjoy your stay here."

The man nodded and left the airport. He left for a taxi very quickly. The driver looked back with a glare, demanding his desired destination.

"The Post Office," he said.

"Post Office? Which one?"

"The one by the Convention Center."

"Which one?" the driver asked again. "There's like a billion of them there."

"East Road, on the way to the Capitol."

"Very well..." the driver said, turning to face forward. Laws in the country were very relaxed, mostly because there was no reason to enforce any of them. This was what was called by the more "civilized" Han Empire - "borderlands" - not that they really bordered anything at all. In fact, most of them were islands, although some random countries in the middle of obscure landmasses were also known. This one was called by several names, only because the land in which they resided was primarily torn between four or five factions at any given time. Depending upon who recognized them, they would have a different name. And for that reason, these borderlands are not recognized by the Han Empire. Stability of government was paramount to the Han.

It made the borderlands extremely lovable targets for the Mujeongbu themselves, who preferred the extremely relaxed atmosphere of the "Borderlands"; the great majority of the Mujeongbu were in fact residents of one or more of the Borderland countries, only because they felt they were obliged to live as they please, leaving the Han Empire to fight off the more radical elements of the greater organization. Indeed, most Mujeongbu exiles came to the Borderlands in admiration for the ever-present harmony of anarchy and stability (that is, no one power could assume total control, hence the governments had no say in what people did or wanted) that was ever absent in the Han Empire itself. And it was this community of pacifists who helped make the identification of Mujeongbu terrorists extremely troublesome (the Han authorities seldom had problems with the Mujeongbu itself; it was just a manner of political expression through violence that ticked the Imperial authorities off). And it made the terrorists hard to find, because distinguishing one man from another was extremely difficult in the absence of official records. It also meant that people could invent new identities with great impunity.

The drive to the post office was not long, and fortunately for Jang Hwanyang, the driver knew where to go. He entered into the long hall, going about the place and searching for his box. He had the key - #8906. It was of course the last one of the left hand side of the whole post office, but that was good in a sense - no one would be watching him extract the stuff. Passport for Jang Hwayang, and a tourist visa for the UCS (or some equivalency thingy, whatever that is). One of the nice things about capitalizts is that anything can be bought for a price (an arm and two legs, in this case), but Jang Hwayang had gotten the needed diplomacy to get into the UCS, just in time for the Han to participate in the World Cup there. He checked and double-checked his documents.

"You again?" the driver said, still waiting outside the post office. Jang Hwayang looked awkwardly at the driver.

"You talking to me?"

"Didn't you just go in?"

"Not really. Should I know you?"

"I suppose not..." the driver replied, baffled at this point. He wasn't paid enough to know who or what his passengers were. "Where to?"

"The airport."

"I guess you really aren't that fellow," the driver said.

"Why should it matter?" Jang replied.

"That dude just came from the airport."

"Oh... well... good for him. I need to go there. I've got a flight in a few minutes."

"Why were you in the post office anyway?" the driver asked.

"I needed to tell the postal services to stop delivery of my mail. I'm going to be gone for the next few weeks. They wanted me to fill out a form, and I... sort of forgot until the last minute to be honest."

"Oh... totally not the same guy..." Jang's excuse seemed to work for him. "Sorry my man."

"Not a problem. I actually get that a lot."

"What do you mean?"

Jang started to impersonate other people. "You look like someone I know."

"Yeah, I'd bet. You're all alike to me."

"Well, you all look alike to me, but I don't really comment on that, do I?"

"I guess you're right."

The rest of the drive was serenely quiet, and the traffic even seemed to favor them. Of course, without any firm police, speed limits were out of the picture, so what probably would have taken several hours in other countries took only minutes. And it made Jang all the happier; he gave the driver a big tip.

"Gee, thanks. That last guy was a snob, didn't even pay me tip!"

"Well, some people just don't have proper morals, these day," Jang replied, thanking the driver again for a quick ride. And he turned around, looking at the airport entrance once more. Next stop - Paripana.

*** BSF Headquarters ***

BSF! Here he was! I mean, he duct taped himself into a 3x3 box, but considering that the office lady was awfully surprised to see him there, it was worth it! Finally! He could finish his article!

"This is the BSF?"

"Yes."

"That was once the BFSA?"

"Maybe... a long time ago, maybe."

Juan, at once, seemed totally confused. "Where the heck am I then?"

Instantly, a crowd of musicians gathered around and started playing their music. An actor soon walked around the corner of the office, with a singing attire upon him. "Welcome!" he sang. Instantly, the walls disappeared and a choir took their place, singing out loudly, "Welcome!"

And the song:

"You've found the grand old BSF!
So now we're singing 'Welcome, Friend'!
If you're deaf,
Mister Chef,
Be sure to tell us when we end!

"The people here have waited long!
And we're so happy that you're here!
Sing along,
With this sing,
And we'll all be singing with cheer!

"Now let us begin your tour!
We'll start in places obscure!
Here's the bathroom!
There's the washroom!
Here's the janitor's closet!
There's the receptionist's desk!
Here's the stage!
There's our cage!
Here's the president's office!
There's the singer's platform!

"This is the BSF, again!
We'd love to sing for you again!
But time is out
Beyond a doubt,
So this choir's gone 'til then!"

Juan spent a moment trying to recollect his thoughts. All of that singing was stuck in his head though, so he couldn't help but sing his questions to the receptionist who opened the desk.

"Can you tell me where I am?"

She sung her response. "You're in my office at the BSF!"

"But what is BSF?"

"BSF?"

"Yes - what does it mean?"

To which the receptionist responded in voce libero:

"BSF is simple, sir.
Broadway Singers Federation.
If at one time we were not,
Then Broadway Free Singers Associations we'd be...
BSF is simple, you see.
Broadway Singer Federation."

Juan replied in prose. "But why change from Free to ... not free?"

"Because some of us are castrati!"

A man suddenly walked in, singing at a very odd high pitch. "I'd prefer we be called i musici!"

After the man left, Juan spontaneously started repackaging himself in the box. The receptionist gazed at him with an awkward stare. "What are you doing, sir?"

"I'm finding the real BSF, because I'm not writing my article about this." At that, he closed the lid and hoped that he'd get to the real BSF soon enough. If there was a real BSF.

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/Companies/MBC.png

Group D for "Death"

PARIPANA - And so the Group Draw puts the Han in a dreaded group with dreaded people. Dreaded group, because it is the fourth group D, which in English can be used to signify Death. Then we have fixtures against morally bankrupt barbarians, imaginary people, and bears - sheesh. It's as if people really don't want to qualify, so they've put us in the only group that could be more humiliating to top. Because if we defeat the morally bankrupt barbarians, we will prove that we are insufficiently humble to reason that we too were once barbarians ourselves and that losing to a bunch of barbarians would be in itself less honorable than winning; hence, we will prove that we are just as greedy, just as morally corrupt as the barbarians. And if we lose against imaginary peoples, even though they are very real, to defeat them is to imply that we're just playing ourselves and that this whole "win" ordeal is just a false face. And we don't want to lie to ourselves, do we? And then bears... what could be worse? Defeating animals only proves that we're better than them, which we are. So by proving that we can defeat bears means nothing, but to lose to the bears, that takes much courage. And courage it will take, because there is no right way to go through Group D. Of course, coming out from a 1-0 friendly loss away at Sarzonia, we'll take any excuse to win at this point, because it's what we'd like to do (and that we will win them...).

Anyway, around the World Cup... Group A features hosts Capitalizt SLANI, who have just now begun to confuse their SLANI opponents by adopting yet another name - Paripana - to add unto their vast wealth of mindlessly useless titles (including successor state of Bedistan... technically, should Bedistan represent itself as a client member within the UCS, just as much as Capitalizt SLANI and Jaseuyeon are client members of the UCS at large?). Anyway, that's a bit too much rambling from me. Group A features the hosts against Sorthern Northland, Prux, and Ad'ihan. If we manage to escape Group D, we'll have to face one of these four teams in the R16 match. In Group B, reigning champions Starblaydia are playing against Lovisa, Jaseuyeon, and Jeru FC. Good luck to whomever plays in this group... Group C features Cafundéu, The Bostopian Empire, Dancougar, and Qazox; all very competitive yet midly underachieving teams (all except for Cafundéu, which reached the Final match last Cup; Dancougar, which has reached the Semifinals some time ago; and the Bostopian Empire, which hasn't been around long enough to chronically underachieve). Away in Demot, we've got Demot, Kelssek, Septentrionia, and the Archregimancy in Group E. In Group F, we have Vephrall, Milchama, Cassadaigua, and Kura-Pelland. In Group G, Bostopia, Krytenia, Yafalonia and Bazor 2, and Yafor 2 (ever notice how closely related the names of those two countries are?!?). And finally, Group H, where Valanora sits atop a predictably tall yet not yet fulfilled pedestal atop the Group, ahead of contenders from Candelaria And Marquez, Rennidan, and Bazalonia.

Our first match will be set against Bears Armed, so we'll be facing off against animals first. Let's hope that Ioshido Toki is up to the task of ignoring what's right and pious and just going straight for the win.

Goal Tally
12 - Jeong Jihun
9 - Kim Mihyeon
5 - Kim Daeeui
2 - Baek Jihun, Song Jongguk, Shin Ganyak, Yi Yeongpyo
1 - Pak Yongho

Cassadaigua

20-03-2009, 16:58

Courtney’s Space

Here comes the World Cup. There is not a lot of time left before we take to the field to take on Milchama at Masterson Stadium in Santa Rosa. They are one of the greatest teams in the World, and they showed that during qualifying, so we have quite a task ahead of us. I mentioned in my last blog that I will use today’s feature to answer reader e-mails and I have received so many of them that I could not possibly respond to them all publicly on the blog, so I picked out a few to share with you all. Some fans left me comments that they are traveling to Demot to attend our games. That’s really great to hear that you would make that kind of a sacrifice just to watch our play, and we hope that you enjoy yourselves while you are here.

Courtney, those opponents really look very tough! I’m afraid we won’t get any points. If we didn’t, how disappointed would you be? – Tammy, Grande Mountain

I would be very disappointed. We are playing some very good opponents, but right now we are one of the best thirty two teams in the world, and we intend on showing that we belong out there with everyone else. We’re happy to have gotten here, but there’s no way that any of us would be happy with being shutout. That’s a loser’s mentality which simply does not exist in our locker room.

Has the team had any free time in Demot? - Amy, Rutland

No, we are not on a vacation. We have not done any sightseeing and while we are sure there is a lot of things that one can do here, we are not interested in any of that. It’s all about the soccer, and our focus is where it needs to be.

Is there any time to get sentimental and just cherish the fact that you are here? Mary, Burton City

Time for being sentimental was immediately after we qualified, as was the feelings of being happy just for making it here.

One word: Peisandros. You can do it. Katie, Berkshire

You got it! Peisandros showed everyone four years ago what an underdog can do just by going out there and trying hard and not listening to the people who doubt you. We can take a lot of inspiration from that and in what they did during World Cup 45. Things have to fall into place, but we have gotten results against top teams before, including the win over Daehanjeiguk during qualifying this time around. It was the only game they lost. There’s no reason we can’t beat any of these teams in this group.

Do you think Cassadaigua can win over the neutral Demot fans? Debbie, Concord Heights

It would be nice. Neutral fans do tend to support the underdog, especially late in the games if it’s close. We’d feed off that energy, I’m sure. We’ll have to see.

Courtney, we wanted to let you know that MEN will be staging a protest at Concord Heights Stadium during your game with Milchama. I’ve outlined the focal points of this protest below, please print them in your blog. Phillip, location not defined

My blog is not for political messages, so I will not include your “focal points”. As for the protest, well that’s really you’re prerogative. Just keep it peaceful and do not do anything stupid, please.

Draw Vephrall. Beat Kura-Pelland. Lose to Milchama. Kura-Pelland beats Vephrall but loses to Milchama. Vephrall loses to Milchama. Cassadaigua advances. There, I figured it out for everyone. Jennifer, Burton City

And there you go! But we’ll be trying not to lose to Milchama!

Elves Security Forces

20-03-2009, 18:59

Inside the VFA Headquarters, Raynor City

"What the hell do you mean we were drawn with Candelaria And Marquez again? Masteron told me that they would never happen!"

The ears of the board members perked up at that sentence. Though they were all handpicked by Tobias after his appointment three years ago, they would not stand for anything that would put another black mark on the FA.

"Are you saying that you had an arrangement with the DFA to fix the draw so that we would avoid that nation?"

Tobias frowned and looked at the young elf with a disapproving look.

"Of course I did not. Masteron had merely told me that the odds of us drawing that lot once again were about as much as me being struck by lightning three times. It seems fate has another idea in mind. Enough of this, what progress can you tell me of the items on today's agenda?"

Once again the young elf spoke up after quickly gazing over his well compiled notes a final time.

"Despite the two losses and draw, Kuu maintains a 75% approval rating amongst the fans and 63% among the players. Many commented that the draw to Koseli and loss to JSY merely happened due to Kuu playing our reserve side after clinching our spot in the World Cup Proper. That being said, it does say that our depth is a tad not up to it's usual self and that it might be time to shuffle around the reserves a tad."

"I can live with that. Some fresh blood breeds better competition for the starting positions, provides a bit of that fire that seeps away after you make it to the top. If only all of our players were as self motivated as Hawk and va Drake. Regardless, how about the update on the domestic league?"

"The EPL continues to operate at normal circumstances, with 90% of first tier clubs reporting a net profit from last years' season. Concerning the four lower tiers, they systematically drop in the percentile of reporting profit by 5% per tier, with the lone exception being the fifth tier. Only 30% of clubs reported a profit, 40% broke even, and 30% lost money. All of this is figured without the upcoming television deals being renewed, which would then bring 25% of that 30% to breaking even."

"Very well, it's business as usual folks. However, following this World Cup, I will indeed be taking my leave from this position. You were able to convince me to stay on for another World Cup, but I do have duties to the family and the faith, and despite my love for the game, those are duties I can no set aside. So, let's make this a World Cup to remember shall we?"

Bears Armed

20-03-2009, 19:14

A meeting, in the city of ‘Council Groves’ (the capital of ‘Bears Armed’…).

“And after that, whom do we play next?” enquired one of the other Ursines — a female with golden-brown fur, wearing a reasonably smart (but not flashy) suit, whom Soccer fans might recognise as the team’s current Deputy Coach — and former Captain — Marra SunDaughter.
Harron o Harruor looked at the letter again.
“The Holy Empire;” he said. “That’s the dream-world nation, yes?”
”Yes,” replied Marra, “and as far as I’ve heard they’re still fielding the team of Cave-men against whom we played a ‘friendly’ game before the qualifiers started.”
“Let’s hope that they stay ‘friendly’,” the remaining Ursine (another female, the team’s current captain Harroya o Redwood, who has light brown fur and is wearing a traditional robe) said: “I didn’t like the way that some of them were looking at us, as though wondering how edible we might be, before that game…”
“Agreed,” responded Marra. ”Maybe we should invest in another Bison, just in case.”
“Was that why the team had the one that you ended up giving to the ‘shabear’?” Arri Thunder/Bob Smith (the team’s [human] manager & Chief Coach) asked her.
“Well, sort of,” she replied: “You see,” ( Harron tapped the table, LOUDLY.) “Umm, I’ll explain later…”
“Thank you,” said the Minister. “Now, Arri, your assessment of the Belles’ chances against those opponents please?”
“Well the ‘Cavemen’ are certainly talented, as well as physically powerful, but as the Belles managed to hold them to a 0-0 draw when playing at their own home ground — and playing with rocks, as they prefer, rather than with proper footballs as will be the case in this match instead — I’d say that a victory should definitely be possible… although certainly not guaranteed, of course.”

__________________________________________

(To be continued…)

___________________________________________________

The team are gathered together at Plumtrees Park. They have all finished packing their gear, ready to leave for the tournament, and are idly kicking a spare football around.

Demot

20-03-2009, 19:24

Demot Daily ~ The Last Hurrah

As the news from the DFA office trickled in last night, all of us still in the station were completely stunned. Masteron had sent us all a very unexpected and ultimately heartbreaking fax. This majestic World Cup that the nation is about to hold is to be the last World Cup that Demot will enter for the foreseeable future. David Masteron, the DFA president and former Dynamo captain and great, has decided that it is no longer financially feasible or responsible to continue financing this team, despite its' huge following among the plebeians. Financial records have shown that the National Team program has had a net loss of over $10,000,000 since entering the World Cup during the thirtieth edition thirty years ago. Despite the expected massive influx of revenue that hosting the event will bring to the country, it will not be enough to save the program from being shut down. It has been suggested that the DFA could ask for a loan from either Cafundeu or Paripana states, but the Monarch quickly put down that idea, citing no foreseeable revenue to pay off that loan.

This has put a highly saddening mood on this World Cup, despite the fever that the citizens have been showing over the past weeks as the last few pieces of infrastructure was updated to accommodate the masses that will be descending upon the country. The rough gravel road to Parthen being paved and expanded to two lanes both ways, another two liners being hired to transport people from Bellwater to Villain, and the World Cup villages being built in Santa Rosa and Skyhaven. If not for the suddenly very bleak context, it would be moments to cherish as the whole of the nation, the whole of the world, comes together for 30 days in unison to watch remarkable individuals compete.

For our own side, they have been given a difficult but not overwhelming group to try and come out from. The first matchup will be against the perinnal underachieving Monks of The Archregimancy. Despite their moniker of being constant underachievers, there is a feel that this could be their tournament where they finally shake that off, evidenced by a remarkable qualifying campaign. It's a very stern first test for the Dynamo who have only played two friendlies, both of which were victories, over the past six months. It is also a chance to repay a favor from World Cup 31 where the monks thrashed the side in its' second entry, first into the Proper. If all goes according to plan, then the second matchday fixture against Kelssek would be an opportune time to clinch a spot in the knockout rounds. While the Kelssek squad is a well put together squad, they do not have the experience of deep World Cup runs to rely on like the Dynamo do. That alone should be the difference between a very close affair. The final matchday against Septentronia will be the most difficult of the three. If a spot in the knockouts is not already secure, you can bet your dollar that the Spetentronia side will do its' best to keep the host from making it. While I do not expect them to progress from the group, I do expect them to pull an upset over either us or the Monks, and it would be wise of the manager to have his side either qualified or well prepared for the match.

This might be our last hurrah, but it might yet be the greatest for our nation. If not a championship, then we could play the perfect hosts and leave an impression on those traveling here for them to fondly remember us by. Let our hospitality be something that keeps us around in peoples' minds even when our two second place finishes are long forgotten memories.

Article by Rich Baker

Candelaria And Marquez

20-03-2009, 22:27

“…ick word, if we may, on the group draw… Difficult one, for the Big Blues, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah, look, it could’ve been worse, but not an awful lot so… Er, as far as the Eesseff are concerned we hardly need to talk about them…”

“We really don’t need to…”

“Indeed, less said the better, really. One could argue, of course, that their qualifying performance was pretty poor by their own standards, and in a not overwhelmingly tricky group either, but clearly they’re still going to be pretty hot favourites for the title, never mind this group… So I’d certainly argue we’re in a battle for second place, and probably an exit to Bostopia in the next round, but…”

“Rennidan, briefly, extremely familiar to us, certain amount of bad blood, but…”

“Yeah, water under the bridge, that, when you consider everything that’s gone on over there in recent years.”

“Oh for the peace and tranquillity of the Candelarias, eh?”

“Well quite, and certainly players like Fortal and Deleks know that as well as we know them. On their day, they’re world class those two, no arguments, won their group at a canter, which no-one expected… And after all that there’s Bazalonia, who we’ve never played at anything anywhere ever, as far as I can remember, but their pedigree speaks for themselves. World Cup finalists barely a decade ago, let’s not forget…”

“And group winners, too.”

“Yeah, they’re not going t’be taken lightly, certainly. The plus side is, we’re playing them last so we’ll know exactly what we need to get out of the game. And equally, they’ve got probably the thinnest squad in the competition, once you get past the starting eleven there’s literally nothing, and that could really play into Dannat’s hands once injuries start to bite.”

“Right, very quickly, ‘cos time is of the essence… The other groups. Initial reactions?”

“Yeah, well you wouldn’t want to call a Group of Death here really, though Group B’s surely the weakest. Starblaydia, I still say they’re going to retain their title and the rest of that group’s just pony. The notable thing from a Candelariasians perspect–”

“Very briefly, if you would.”

“Yeah… Nah, I was just saying that each group has CMSC interest, someone to boo or cheer for. Catedral supporters’ve got Ad’ihan in Group A, Harpies fans and… just about everyone else, have got the Northlandish; there’s a nice little MarquezOW tussle in Group C with Cotuba, should he play o’course, up against Dennin and Cecilia from Dancougar; you’ve got the Kims in Group D; th–”

“If we could really, really make it brief now.”

“Yeah… Well, you’ve got the Albrecht derby in Group E, Rotherwell of Demot versus St. Louis of the Scorpions; no end of Kura-Pellandi players… probably, particularly at Portuguese, an–”

“Please, please make it quick!”

“ALRIGHT! Group G, Yaforites, Caires Sports. Done.”

“Alright, Iain Miller for the National Reporter there, and there’ll be more World Cup chat later in the programme.”

“…”

“What shall we do now?”

“I ‘unno?”

“Could play a record, I suppose.”

“Mm.”

At a sharp tap, President Morton lent over gingerly and turned the knob to the silent position.

“Come in, Jenny… We’ll have to make it quick today,” she continued without looking up, busying herself with files and folders instead, “I’ve got a meeting with Sol and a bunch of pitchforks over agricultural subsidies in about… now, ish, and then I’m in with Milo and General Ermenault all afternoon, sad to say…”

The Minister for Remedial Teaching nodded. “This would be over the Green Island situation?”

“We have to consider all bases. Mc O’Neil appears to have established something of a perimeter in Zapata, curse the pointy little bastard, and while I wouldn’t want to go in all guns blazing just yet…”

“No, that probably wouldn’t be wise.”

“Pity you couldn’t have told me that last time…”

Her minister remained silent as Morton pushed her chair back and wandered over to the window overlooking Robinson Street.

“Jenny… Can I just say, once again, how sorr–”

“I won’t be attending the meeting of the defence staff, for what it’s worth. I’m sure the situation requires as much concealment on the mainland as Green, but I’ve delegated Mr Clitheroe to the task… He knows more about what’s going on over there than me.”

“Good, yes. I got the message regarding that. We’ll extend M.O.R.T. operations on Green as far as we have the ability to do so, but I’d imagine you’re going to be pretty stretched with the World Cup just around the corner. On that note… how are preparations over there?”

“Proceeding smoothly enough. Demot probably makes things trickier than the Unified Parapanan SLANI, particularly given that we’ve got the Vanorians in the second game again, but the CAMAFA knows what it’s doing these days. We’re limiting travel to Freestone, in any case. That won’t be too difficult to pass off as an administrative decision, given that the three games move the C&M supporters about from one end of the country to the other anyway.”

“Good, good. Nice to see everything’s running smoothly, then. The Unionists used to fret to no end about this sort of thing.”

“We’re a well-oiled machine these days, Robyn. If that’ll be all then, I need to go and see t–”

“Jenny… Go home.”

“I’m… sorry?”

“Really, we can manage without you for the time being. Well-oiled machine, and all that… Just go home for a while, I’m sure Steve and… uh…”

“Julia.”

“Yes, of course… I’m sure they’d appreciate having you around at a time like this.”

“Well that’s kind of you.”

Jenny remained stood at the back of the Square Room, staring coldly at the back of the President’s increasingly warm neck.

“God, you can’t even look at me, can you?”

Morton turned sharply and looked at her, the President’s mouth twisting back and forth as she attempted to frame her next sentence. “Jenny, I know this must be just the most awful… I can imagine… I feel for you so much, I honestly do, an–”

“You don’t have a clue, Robyn, how can you?! How can you possibly pretend to know what I’m feeling?! You’ve never been a mother, not for more than half an hour anyway! You stand there and you can talk about football, for God’s sake, when my son has been taken by those… things, and you couldn’t give a shit abou–”

“And you wonder why I want you at home?! Don’t you think your daughter needs you right now, or are you just going to mope around here feeling sorry for yourself?!”

“How dare you?!”

“You’re not alone, Jenny, you’ve got a family you need you, because I sure as hell don’t right now! And… no proper person could help but feel your anguish right now and share in it, but you’re not the first! Joshua wasn’t the first, and God knows he won’t be the last! It’s the price we pay… And I know you want to rush down there and haul him back, but you know that’s not going to happen, Jenny! Even if it were possible, the price, for this country, our country would be… It doesn’t bare thinking about. It’s… not unknown for them to come back, is it? After a few years, or just months, sometimes… So you never know, I’ll… I’ll pray for you, an–”

“Well that cheers me up no end, Robyn. I’m sure now that the Lord’s focus group is on the case he’ll bow to public opinion and bring me my son back! In the meantime…”

“Jenny, I’m truly so sorry,” Morton glubbed as the door slammed behind the minister, “But you know we don’t have any choice… we never did…”

Morton slumped into her chair and listened to the silence. It would be just like her to appear at a moment like this, mocking, contemptuous. But there was nothing, and it hurt…

“…cais derby, with Kura-Pelland starting clear underdogs. But Arrigo Portuguese striker William Lacamoire told us that his country should have no fears when it comes to their ne–”

In the blink of an eye, Morton turned. The radio soured through the air, crashing off the window – but not smashing it, naturally, it was supposed to protect the most important woman in the country from harm, after all – and coming to a thudden rest in the corner of the room.

At the noise, half a dozen security officers burst into the President’s office, but left just as quickly as she waved them impatiently away, huddled in her chair, tears rolling freely.

Demot

20-03-2009, 22:59

MD1 Results SLANI Region (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14620083&postcount=19)

New Manhattan

21-03-2009, 00:28

Matchday 1 results — Demot region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14620265&postcount=20)

Jeruselem

21-03-2009, 01:10

Marie: God, that was hard work.
Ryan: That's not a bad lot of ... cavemen.
Marie: Well, it was bit rough out there.
Ryan: Well, cavemen aren't known for their finesse.

Marie: I'm very sore, from all that banging around between big hairy things.
Ryan: Looks like the rest of the team agree.
Marie: But for someone like me, it's harder. I'm a small person.
Ryan: Pups can barely move.

Marie: Poor girl, she had a hard time.
Ryan: I think it's time we got back to hotel to recover.
Marie: Yes, I want my bubble bath ...
Ryan: I'll join you for once. It's been a really hard day.

Marie: Mind you, that ref was real lenient.
Ryan: You get that with the World Cup's toughest team against the cup's biggest divers.
Marie: We really should have got more than one penalty.
Ryan: It was more like ... rugby than football out there. How come you let Sadie take the penalty kick?

Marie: Oh, because I had a headache.
Ryan: She's not bad on the spot.
Marie: She's got the same IQ as the cavemen out there.
Ryan: The cavemen are smarter than we think.

Marie: Anyone seen Mary?
Ryan: She's running around talking to people.
Marie: Has she got clothes on?
Ryan: I think she does this time. I think you'd get arrested for nudity here.

Marie: Hey, I've got ball here. You think it's bit hard and heavy?
Ryan: Well, I think there's rocks in there.
Marie: No wonder I couldn't get any distance kicking going.
Ryan: Maybe they did that too keep the cavemen happy.

Marie: Maybe we should cut it open to see what's in here?
Ryan: It's only a football.

<Later>

Marie: Well, there's rocks in here.
Ryan: No wonder the team complained the ball wasn't behaving normally.
Marie: I suppose them cavedudes like kicking rocks.
Ryan: Mystery explained, now I'll wait here for that Mary women.

Marie: I'm going have a shower and take a painkiller.
Ryan: There's a lump on your head.
Marie: That was from trying to had the ball.
Ryan: Get the doctor on that, we don't you getting infections.

Marie: Damn, The Football Life! I can't be on TV looking like this.
Ryan: Get Mary to co-host with Kara Kool ... not naked that is.
Marie: Good idea, most of the girls are tired and need a rest now.
Ryan: I don't think Kara will mind too much, Mary is a Dallas ... so she knows what to expect.

Marie: I'm not that bad!
Ryan: You do annoy her on purpose.
Marie: She does the same!
Ryan: But you're the better annoying person.

Kura-Pelland

21-03-2009, 01:20

Kura-Pelland has two new national heroes, combined age forty-one, as 19-year-old Nicolás Gaga and 22-year-old Tommy Maher scored the goals in a famous 2-1 defeat of neighbours Vephrall.

In front of a capacity 67,000 crowd at the Septentrionian-designed Itiris stadium in Santa Rosa - Kura-Pelland play all three of their group matches in stadia designed by Septentrionian architects, who are in direct competition with the Kura-Pellandi firm ShinyPlaces in multiple international markets - Vephrall took the lead inside nine minutes, Handbosm Taclik heading in an Umsaasad Jehoepe cross under absolutely no pressure whatsoever from Bo Phelps nominally marking him. But this Vephrese side is an aging one, comprised entirely of thirtysomethings, and by the end of the first half the more youthful Kura-Pellandi side were running rings around them. It bought its reward on 39 minutes when Nicolás Gaga was bought down from behind by an outpaced Tomprism Solivasas, who was sent off for the tackle. The resultant free-kick, just over 25 yards out and slightly outside the left post, was smashed into the top-right corner by Nicolás Gaga, and from then on there was only ever likely to be one winner.

Not that Vephrall would give up. What they lacked in stamina they made up for in knowledge of how to close a team down even with ten men, and they nearly snatched a goal on the counter-attack, Taclik brilliantly denied by Paul Hodgson on the hour. The eventual winner was just four minutes in coming, though, with a Gilles Rothen corner headed in by the giant sweeper Maher. Kura-Pelland rarely looked threatened thereafter and looked more likely to add a third than to lose their lead, Nicolás Gaga and substitute Darius Lojeski both narrowly missing with 25-yard piledrivers late on and Norbert Fiero hitting the outside of the post in injury time.

Kura-Pelland (4-1-2-2-1): Hodgson; Phelps (Blank 67), Veitburg, Maher, Swailes; Curtis; Nicolás Gaga (Cooper 75), Cottee; Rothen, Ogunde (Lojeski 75); Fiero.

Krytenia

21-03-2009, 02:28

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

DazaDaza 1, YafaBaza 0
By Rami Niblick in Villian

TYPICAL. You wait forty-eight years for Krytenia to beat a nation in the World Cup Finals, then they go and beat two at the same time. The bizarre gestalt nations of Yafalonia and Bazor 2 were the victims of a one-nil scoreline as the Aces got off to the best possible start in the very competitive Group G.

Darren Scotland, so often the talisman of the Krytenian side, was the man who got the winning goal, poking home after Kiefer Lloyd's shot was parried by the Yafalonian (or Bazorian, I forget which) 'keeper, while Uriel Kennedy was unlucky to be denied a second by a marginal offside decision.

In the group's other game, Bostopia and Yafor 2 failed to find a goal between them, meaning that the Aces end Matchday One on top of the tree. Elsewhere, the SLANI lost to rivals Ad'ihan, Starblaydia spluttered past Jeru FC one-nil, Kura-Pelland came out on top of their local derby against the Vephrese, and Septentrionia bagged a nap hand against hapless Kelssek.

It's off to Parthen for the next game - one that's expected to be, for want of a better word, "bostin".

Qazox

21-03-2009, 04:12

Saint Nash Courier
If you haven't heard it before, It's News to you!
SPORTS
Why do we even bother?

Once again, Qazox qualified for the World Cup, and once again it looks like it will be a short trip. A 3-1 loss to Cafundeu has the Pheonix, once again, up against the wall with the rubber match against Dancougar in two days.

Cafundeu's Hubert scored two goal in the first half (34th and 41st minutes) and Qazox could only cut it to 2-1 on Brent Folks' 57th minute goal. But Alves' goal in the 74th minute put it out of reach, as Qazox' winless streak at the World Cup is now at 9 games.

Needless to say, the Dancougar match will be important, as loss would eliminate the Pheonix.

SCHEDULE:
MD1: Cafundéu @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt LOST 1-3
MD2: Dancougar @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt
MD3: The Bostopian Empire @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt

Dancougar

21-03-2009, 07:48

Dancougar News!!
5 vs 12 picks: 0/4. Rest of them: 26/28. The hell am I doing?

More Bostopians beaten as Wings take opener: The Wings have already matched their point total from the previous tournament by opening strong with a victory.

Dancougar began Group C play with a 2-0 victory over the Bostopian Empire on goals from Dan Florentino and Stefan Rosberg. They were the beneficiaries of a lot of hard work from experienced teammates Alexei Voronzoff and Augustine Dennin, but everyone appeared to be pulling their weight on the pitch. Fans are hoping to take it as a sign that Dancougar's new generation of players is ready to pull its own at all levels, but they're preaching patience.

"You can't say too much about one game," said Rosberg, who now has six goals this cycle. "It feels great to get on the score sheet, but ultimately it comes down to the points. That's my bigger concern right now."

"It definitely feels good to win my first World Cup match," added Florentino, "but we can't really celebrate too hard. It's nice, but we only have a few days to prepare for Qazox. They gave us a hard time in qualifying and we know a win there is huge for either team."

All the right things coming from the mouths of the youngsters, but given the energy they were bubbling with at the end of the match, one suspects that they were much more excited than they were letting on. That energy carried over from the game itself, where Dancougar worked hard to establish a lead and then continued to heap on the pressure until insurance came in the second half. It was one of the few times in the cycle that Takeuchi's five-man midfield worked as well as planned.

The team came out in something of a diamond, with Voronzoff forward and Dwayne Landro playing more withdrawn as a forward defender. The remaining three were arrayed in a line, with Florentino taking center stage behind Voronzoff. The team captain showed trust in the youngster's developing abilities in order to trust him with a focal point in the Dancougar attack, and Florentino responded with one of his most complete international performances thus far.

Florentino debuted during Oxen Cup IX and was one of the bright spots on a team that dug itself into an early hole in the double-elimination tournament. He was selected to the team after a strong freshman season at perennial powerhouse University of Lunarossa, and he used the tournament to springboard to a professional contract at 20, one of the few players to ever come out in the draft before their junior season. CF America Chuuoushi have been building a team around him ever since.

The first goal in the match belonged to him in the 20th minute after Voronzoff stepped over a square ball. That set the table for Florentino, who one-timed a screamer in from 22 yards away past Andrei Smolenski. "I got a little greedy when I saw the ball just sitting there, but I had a clear shot," said Florentino. "I made sure to get over it so it would bent down." It's a shot that he and other Wings have hit sky high countless times in qualifying, but this time, the midfielder was on target and Smolenski was stranded.

The Wings continued to go forward in order to maintain their lead - the best defense, they decided, was their offense. But it would take until the 51st minute to double the lead. Enter Rosberg, who controlled a long pass from Lyle Dylandy and used a burst of speed to create space for a shot, which he coolly slotted past Smolenski.

"He was playing a bit out of his goal and I went for the space between him and the post," said Rosberg. "That's a hard shot to stop when it comes in so low."

Rosberg's opening was the result of a lot of hard work off-the-ball throughout the first half and early in the second. For the most part, the defense kept him quiet, but Dennin started to create havoc inside with a couple close shots just before the break. Smolenski had come up huge, but that just drew more defensive attention to him when the Wings came out at the start of the second. Rosberg was thus given an opportunity to break free, and he took it without a second thought.

The game was kept out of reach for the Empire thanks to good team defense, and goalkeeper Luke Brengle made four saves in the victory. Dwight Heath played well opposite Matt Bogart and held Jack Austell without a shot on target. Heath earned the start over Doug Edrington, who seems to have been brought to SLANI only to bolster the defense's numbers. More was expected from Edrington due to his rapport with Eastport United teammate Brengle, but he's been shaky on the international stage.

Dancougar will place Qazox in the second match of the group stage. The Phoenix were beaten by Cafundeu 3-1 in their opener and a victory here gives Dancougar a great shot at advancement, while a loss will put them in a dogfight.

Rosberg goals could earn big payday: At 23, Stefan Rosberg has a lot of football left in him. And his performance in this World Cup cycle, six goals with at least two more games to add to that total, will make Sporting Lakeport eager to resign the striker in the offseason. He won't come cheap, though, and Lakeport are expected to increase his salary close to or above designated player levels.

Lakeport's ability to spend comes thanks to a new deal with Empire Motors of Newmanistan, which has entered into a major business partnership with the club, becoming the first foreign investors in the process. They've infused the club with the money needed to expand its stadium and attract fresh talent. While the team is already rubbing up against the D-League's salary cap and has two designated players in Scott LaFave and the aging Jeremy McAllister, it feels like it still has the flexibility to continue to improve.

"McAllister has been a very positive influence on the younger guys, in the locker room and on the field, and his fitness is absolutely incredible," said coach Ron Featheringham. "His experience complements Rosberg's youth, and we think that gives an offense that can compete with anyone in the D-League."

Lakeport finished 10th in the 2036/37 Clausura, which wrapped up just a few weeks before the start of the World Cup. Although disappointing, it's a big leap from 15th the year before, and the promise of Empire Motors' millions has given hope that the team will be able to build a successful team like Eastport United or Grandborough FC, who have become regulars at the top of the table after spending most of the league's formative years well outside the top four.

"I was told there would be money to spend, and we want to improve the midfield and possibly look at goalkeepers," said Featheringham. "Anything can happen right now, especially when we still have the cap and the draft to consider."

However, in recent years, the salary cap has come under fire from several teams, which claim that football in Dancougar is stabilizing and the market should be allowed to take over. The league has now completed twelve seasons and has produced a Globe Cup champion and is considering expansion. Several teams are also said to be circumventing the salary cap by arranging for top players to receive inflated advertising contracts with the team's primary sponsors, and most analysts agree that a company like Empire Motors could easily afford to do this.

"It breaks the model that the D-League is built on and could easily lead to a harsh division between the haves and have-nots," said economist Piotr Nokovsky. "We've already seen a sort of hierarchy establish itself because some teams don't have enough income to spend up to the cap, and the richer teams benefit because they can bring in that extra talent."

What all of this means for Rosberg is that the offseason is going to be an interesting one. CF America Chuuoushi may also run into problems with its midfield, as both Dan Florentino and Christian Chojnacki could merit a salary increase if the team plays well in the World Cup.

Bears Armed

21-03-2009, 10:31

“And with barely a minute of stoppage time left, Kim Miheyon shoots at the Belles' goal. Urra Thunder stretches out, she's got her forepaw into contact with the ball... but not securely enough: Kim Miheyon scores: That makes it 3 – 2 to the Han Empire, but will the Bears be able to equalise again in the few seconds left? We’ve seen them pull that off before… Harroya o Redwood kicks off, passes to Karramarsar Karra, she runs down the side of the pitch, but Baek Jihun makes an attempt at tackling her… and succeeds. Now he’s passed the ball backwards to An Pilrip, and the Bears are in to try and take control again, but the referee’s about to blow his whistle… That’s it, the game is over, and it’s a win for the Han Empire by 3 goals to 2 over Bears Armed.
Well, Derren, what do you have to say about that result?”
“Well, Urrthro, to be honest a loss for the Belles against those opponents was always on the cards. The Han are rated at number 6 in the worlds, after all, and even though the Belles managed to hold Dancougar’s ‘Black Wings’ to a draw at this stage in the last World Cup when it was that team that held this same position the Wings came back this time around to win both of their qualifying games against us… “Upsets” are always possible, of course, and one did look quite possible for a while in this game, but when Harroya o Herrchaum’s right knee — which was injured just a few weeks ago, as you should remember, in a ferry accident while the team was travelling to their qualifying match in The McLaughlin Islands — suddenly gave way, and the Han took the ball away from her to score their second goal of the game and equalise, the likelihood of such an event fell considerably.”

Arri Thunder turned the tape-player, on which he and the Belles had been listening to the BABC’s commentary on their game, off. He glances down at a written match-report that’s on the table in front of him _

The Han Empire 3 – 2 Bears Armed

The Han Empire
Goals: 3 _ Jeong Jihun (24), Jeong Jihun (82), Kim Miheyon (92)
Possession: 1st half = 66%, 2nd half = 28%, overall = 47%.
Cards: 2 yellows (OOC: which I’ll leave for han to assign, if he so chooses…)
Injuries: (none)

Bears Armed
Goals: 2 _ Harroya o Redwood (38), Karmamrsar Sarra (55)
Possession: 1st half = 34%, 2nd half = 72%, overall =53%.
Cards: 3 yellows (Beorra o Barrdenn, Urra Thunder, Urra SunBlessed)
Injuries: Harroya o Herrchaum (80: previously-injured knee gave way)
and then addresses the players_

"Nice try, girls," he said. "You almost did it. A 2-1 lead, before that accident in the 82th minute... and I'll take the responsibility for that, as I signed-off on the medics' report to allow Harroya to play again. Now, though, you really have to win both of our other group-stage games--or, at least, maybe win one of them and draw the other -- if we're going to achieve more than we did the last time around.
Harroya, I'm sorry, but you're back on sick leave for the rest of this competition: Your knee should get better, but we won't risk it in play again.Theodelphia, you're starting in her place from now on.
Urra, you did a decent enough job in goal against a team of that quality: The next game is Charra's turn to open the game in that position, again, but then we'll have you back as a starter for the match after that -- against Jerusalem -- unless we've already been definitely eliminated from all hope of progress to the next round by then in which case Irritti can have a chance instead and we'll sub you in at half-time... or earlier if she lets in two goals before then.
No other changes to the line-up, I think.
Now, Marra has some new drills for you practice..."

Marra grins.
"Right, you lot, we're going to be practising with heavy balls today. A big bird tells me" (She glances sideways, to where a large Raven is perched watching them with interest..) "that the Holy Empire's team seem to have persuaded the local authorities to let them use balls with rocks isnide, so we're going to be ready for them if they try that in our game against them next week."

Jeruselem

21-03-2009, 13:52

Mary Sallad (who is not naked) and Jeruselem coach Ryan Greenly

Mary:
I'm Mary Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem on assignment with Jeruselem World Cup team! I'm with the coach Ryan Greenly to talk about today's performance. Jeruselem beat the Holy Empire ONE NIL while the Cannons lost to the Purple Menace ONE NIL. Qazox lost to the monopolists TWO NIL. And we forgot to check how Merginn Moffat's team of drunks from Southern Northland went! First thing, let's ask Ryan about today.

Ryan: Well, it's three points. It was a hard game to win like all these games are.
Mary: The Holy Empire fielded a team of cavemen who have proven very good performers.
Ryan: Yes, that's true. OK, they aren't like Jeruselem who rely on skill but make up for it in application and pure brute force.
Mary: Some people say Marie dived for that winning penalty kick.

Ryan: Look, there was contact and she's got the scar to prove it. She's quite sore from this game.
Mary: Sadie Dallas or Dopey as we know her, took the kick. That was a stroke of genuius.
Ryan: She's an experienced player who's learnt from her other relatives. Sure she runs into doors but she's smart on the football field.
Mary: Do you think we should have won by more?

Ryan: Yes, but we won. We just need another win.
Mary: It was a bit rough out there.
Ryan: Cavemen vs Princesses. I mean that was the game explained. The cavemen had a good game but our team who aren't all women unlike some teams in the finals - aren't here because my wife is good looking.
Mary: Any injury worries?

Ryan: Well, the team was bit roughed up this game. The game against the Han should be a game of skill. Today was more a game of brute force vs inane skills. Some of the team seem to be a bit worse for the experience.
Mary: The team wasn't doing much heading of the ball today.
Ryan: The ball seemed to be bit hard, and head butting a rock hard ball is not good for one's brain.
Mary: How are we going approach the game against the Han who beat the bears with weapons 3-2.

Ryan: We'll be going for a win. We want to make sure we make the 2nd round this time.
Mary: Now, are the Han better than us?
Ryan: On the rankings, they might be but we can mix it with the best. Jeruselem can finals - it's just a matter of making the 2nd round first of course.
Mary: What about Qazox - who happened to lose again.

Ryan: I hope they can win the next two games but if they don't - I'm not surprised either.
Mary: How confident are you in Qazox?
Ryan: Err, to be honest ... not much. I was the Qazian coach for four cups.
Mary: Jeru FC did well today.

Ryan: Yes, I think going down 1-0 to Starblaydia is a good effort from the Cannons.
Mary: How about them making the 2nd round?
Ryan: Well, if they get a win and a draw ... then they could make it assuming the Purple Menace win all the games.
Mary: Now, who would you coach - Jeruselem, Jeru FC or Qazox? If you could choose?

Ryan: Err, well. No disrespect to Jeruselem or Jeru FC but I'd like to Qazox back into the finals. But I've got two kids and a potential wife in Jeruselem now.
Mary: some people think dragging around your kids during a World Cup is not responsible parenting.
Ryan: Kids without parents is worse. Parent must take responsibility, not shun it.
Mary: I agree, as a Mum ... raising my two girls. I'd do it again.

Ryan: You raised those two quite well. Yes, they are whores but seem good mothers in their own right.
Mary: Marie seems diving into motherhood without any hesitation.
Ryan: She's ten years overdue to have kids. I guess she's learnt a lot from her relatives about raising good kids.
Mary: Good to talk to you.

Ryan: Good to see you, with clothes on ...

Yafalonia and Bazor 2

21-03-2009, 14:01

FAIL to Live to FAIL AGAIN!

With the governments of Yafalonia and Bazor 2 piling billions of Yafs into FAIL for the World Cup finals many Yafalonians and Bazorites (AND CERTAINLY NOT BAZORIANS) have to question whether the significant financial investment in the future of international sport is worth it. The team faced the Kryties and failed to score even one single goal, losing the match.

And to add insult to injury royal and peoples commissions have been called into existance by the national governments of Yafalonia and Bazor 2 into sporting organisations and financial mismanagement. Tiddly-winks Internationalé has already been discovered to be hiding massive debts through a number of fairly inconceived pattern of shell companies and subsidery arrangements. National confidences for both Yafalonia and Bazor 2 have been shattered the confidence of the sporting world into disarray.

Many Yafalonians and Bazorites are up in arms (most notable exception would be Graham Noh'arms that does any such appendages) over the financial mismanagement in the sports they like. Fail and Tiddly-winks Internationalé may just be the tip of the Iceburg as the royal and peoples commissions report back. The sport loving people of Yafalonia and Bazor 2 are the hardest hit as the FAIL HARD league is looking to collapse. What will people do in their lazy afternoons? We here are worried about this and let us know if you have a solution.

Jeru FC

21-03-2009, 14:36

Kaye: OUCH! That hurts.
Count: Not looking good there Doc?
Doctor: Yes, I think the knee is a bit twisted.
Kaye: Does it mean my world cup is over?

Doctor: I don't think you can play next game. Too much risk in more damage to the knee.
Kaye: But I want to play!
Count: We need fully fit players.
Kaye: I don't want to be a useless person around here.

Count: You're not useless, you could be back for the last game.
Doctor: Sorry, you'll have trouble walking for now ... let alone playing.
Kaye: But we need everyone on board for the big game next, we need to win.
Count: Your health is more important. This isn't a war.

Doctor: There's not much I can do. You need to rest it to allow it to heal.
Count: I don't want to hurt yourself, after all it's just football.
Kaye: Football is all I'm good at.
Count: Well, you need to rest and get better.

Julie: How is she?
Count: It's bad, she's out.
Julie: But she's our best player!
Count: We'll have to win without her.

Julie: Say, Dazza was always having trouble with her knees.
Count: Yes, but it's a common problem with football players.
Julie: What about playing with painkillers?
Count: They can only do so much, they won't stop all the pain.

Doctor: Sorry but you'll have play without Kaye.
Gray: This isn't what we need after losing to the Purple Menace.
Count: We played really well and did a good job. If we play like this again, we could win the next two games.
Julie: But we couldn't score any goals.

Count: That's because Starblaydia are champion team, we have a better chance against the lesser teams.
Kaye: I feel I've let down the team today.
Count: You got injured, like any footballer can. It happens and one must deal with it.
Julie: We've barely scored any goals last few games.

Count: I know but I'm sure we can learn how to score goals soon.
Kaye: We're always choking when it matters.
Count: Now is the time to show the world Jeru FC aren't losers.
Gray: Why is Kaye topless? Not that I'm complaining.

Count: Oh, that wasn't us. Kaye did that herself.
Doctor: She was like that when we came in.
Kaye: I was a bit warm.
Julie: You think we'd have a better chance of winning if I play topless?

Count: Err, it's probably not legal here.
Julie: I'd do it if it improves the chance of the team.
Kaye: Julie, you'd play naked if you had the choice.
Gray: I think it's a good idea!

Bears Armed

21-03-2009, 17:31

After the day's training session (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14621148&postcount=589) has finished, Arri Thunder and Marra SunDaughter relax with drinks while they discuss how things are going...

Right, Marra,” says Arri: “Now that we’ve finally got some time off, maybe you could explain at last why the team had that Bison handy that you ended up giving to the ‘shabear’ as a reward for her ‘rain dance’ that worked so well?”

Oh, that? Well, you know how the Cavemen looked at us before our pre-qualifiers friendly against them, as though they were thinking of us as a possible dinner? Not that we couldn’t have defended ourselves hokay if that had become necessary, at least unless some oddity about how that dimension works had given them a real edge, but anyway several of the girls felt that it might be a good idea to have some alternative ’food’ on hand in case we were drawn into the same group as the Cavemen for qualifying.”

“ So, what, they clubbed together to buy a whole Bison? I didn’t realise that we were paying them that well yet…”

“No, no, what happened was_ Well, Urra had let herself get talked into buying some tickets for a raffle in aid of the Ursion church’s cathedral of St Felix, and she got lucky… sort of. The prize that she won was only a bag of bans, but they were supposed to be “special” in some way. She couldn’t actually use them herself, of course, because of the Sun Clan not being allowed to hold territory of their own or to lease farmland, but while she was wondering what to do next”
“Which was presumably taking her quite a while?”
“Boss! I’m shocked… Well, hokay, yes, it was…
But anyway, she got into conversation with a Human male who said that he was taking his family’s last cow-bison to sell at the market, and when Urra explained the situation he offered an exchange of goods which she accepted.”

“She… swapped… a bag of ‘special’ beans for a cow?!?”

“Yes, that’s right. Why are you chuckling, Arri, what’s so funny about that?”

“Sorry, Marra, I was just reminded of a very old story from my former homeland’s folklore, and wondering what will happen when the farmer plants any of those beans… Tell me, Urra didn’t happen to say that the fellow’s name was ‘Jack’, did she?”

“How did you know that? Well, ‘Jacques’, because he was from Clan Calvin apparently, but that seems close enough…”

“Oh dear, oh dear me…” (Arri bursts into helpless laughter… :D)

Starblaydia

21-03-2009, 20:23

The Greatest Show on NS Earth
It's World Cup time as Starblaydia aim for the record

More people around the world watch this tournament than any other sporting contest in history. The World Cup is the be-all and end-all of sporting success for pretty much every nation on the face of the planet and, in some cases, beyond. It is into this maelstrom of passion and pride that a white whirlwind has come: the Starblaydia national football team currently wear more golden stars upon their shirts than any other nation competing today, as well as the most recent, a fourth symbol of shining glory that they proudly wear as reigning World Champions.

Their first match, though a victory, was not a game to echo down the ages, nor was it a marker to the other teams that the champions have arrived to lift their cup again. It was, however, the first step on the road to a fifth, and second consecutive, title. You can talk about long journeys beginning with single steps, but Lex Panarii has a different outlook:

"You just have to make it through the group stage to be in with a chance," he said, "Whatever happens in the matches, from three draws to three wins, the only objective is to progress from the first round.

"From there, it's four matches for the title - that's all it takes. Four wins, in a row, however they come, however you can manage it. One goal or three goals, Normal or Extra Time, penalties or a flip of a coin.

"Four wins. That's all it takes."

He should know, of course, as he's done it twice. Without question, he's Starblaydia's greatest ever manager; no-one else in their history has won two as a manager, never mind the AOCAF Cup and the couple of invitational trophies he's also seen his teams lift. Khim Azanulbizarn managed his various sides to a unique World, Regional and Olympic 'triple crown', but for Panarii, the successes came off the back of Starblaydia coming from nowhere. Azanulbizarn inherited a side with such great world potential, but Panarii built it himself.

Now, sixty-three years old, Lex will be doing his utmost to get this side into the pantheons of sporting gods, to make Starblaydia the greatest ever football-playing nation in the history of the world. Who's to say he won't?

Septentrionia

21-03-2009, 20:27

Alain Bellemare: Great performance guys! I never thought you'd score five goals against any team. And Kelssek of all teams.

François Lafontaine: So, you were doubting our ability? I mean: we're not Sortherns...

AB: Yeah... but remember when we were playing together on the team, we could not even score two goals without having to concede. And now, we score five and we don't allow any? I mean: that's great!

Thimothée Cartier: But won't the Kelssekians doubt anything?

AB: Doubting about what? We played legally from the first to the last minute...

TC: Not really. Don't you remember when Mark Tupper told the referee to "fuck off" after our third goal wasn't being disallowed for offside? Well... we paid the referee to not disallow that one.

AB: Yeah? Well, that's very bad to do such a thing. It could lead us in much trouble...

TC: Don't you remember about Cafundelense referees? As long as you pay the "Bribing to not disallow a goal" tax, everything will be good.

AB: Yeah, forgot about them and their fantasies about money. But seriously, what made you score so many goals?

Thomas Filteau: Your speech. Basically, telling us to picture in our minds that the goal was Emperor Boston was really helpful.

AB: Ah yeah... Well, that's the trick I used to do when I was playing for the NT. I didn't score many goals, as I was a midfielder -- most of you know about it -- but it still helped me score a few. Now, tomorrow, we're moving to another stadium Architecture Pyramide designed. According to this plan, they placed some features [...]

Cafundeu

21-03-2009, 23:55

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 45 – full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião (from TV coverage)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TEAM DOES ITS JOB: THE RIGHT START

http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/5075/cafqaz1.jpg (http://img21.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cafqaz1.jpg)
Marossi talks with the referee

Cafundéu, as a first seed of the World Cup group draw, was put in a group with other 3 countries worse-ranked than the Monopolists. Dancougar, Qazox and The Bostopian Empire. So, in theory, the Cafundelenses are the favourites to win this group, but we all know that things don’t happen always this way. Cafundéu has been surprised and has surprised many times, so it’s right to not be overconfident. David Nefasto, an experienced coach, knew that the team had to have a good result in the first game against Qazox to start the World Cup with motivation and strength to go after the title. And the last thing on his mind was to not win this game. All his efforts were focused in getting a good win, so Cafundéu looked offensive from the beginning to the end of the game, and could get the victory, controlling well the game, apart from some difficult minutes in the beginning of the second half.

THE FIRST HALF: Cafundéu’s objective in this game was clear since the start: getting the victory. But Qazox wanted this as much too, and had the first goal attempt, with a Kenworthy long ranged shot that went away by centimetres. The game seemed to be pretty equal, but Cafundéu’s players seemed to have a thing that the Qazoxians didn’t have: experience. Qazox’s team is composed of very young players, while the Cafundelenses have played at least one or two World Cups already, and this proved to be the difference still in the first half. Nefasto was just standing near the bench, without shouting... and the patience in his sigh meant that, although things weren’t so good for Cafundéu at that moment, he expected improvements with the time. And they came, as Qazox wasn’t able to maintain the rhythm of their football.

The first half was already in its second half when the Cafundelenses reached the first goal. Noticing that Qazox was slowing down, the coach David Nefasto wanted his team to advance and try to pressure the opponent with consecutive attacks. Staring through the message in his eyes, the players understood that there was a chance to take the advantage in the game. And the pressure started. Cafundéu hit the post twice, and Qazox’s keeper nearly made a mistake after a weak header by Fabinho. The goal came after a good move by the Cafundelenses, with Serrano making a wonderful pass to Hubert. With only the goalkeeper to beat, he had no problems to score. The Monopolists continued pressing the opponent team, but it seemed that the Qazoxian defence was more prepared for these attacks. But not prepared for a mistake of Escareno, who lost the ball to Hubert in his own area. The attacker thanked his opponent and shot to score.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Hubert’s second goal): “Crrrrrrossing made by Serrrrrano, but it is too strrrrrrong and the ball goes easily to Klick’s hands. He rrrrrrrolls it to the defender at his side, Escarrrrrreno. He contrrrrrrols the ball, Cafundéu prrrrressing in the whole field, he trrrrrries a drrrrribble over Huberrrrrrt... is tackled! He loses the ball inside his arrrrrrrea, what a mistake! Huberrrrrt will shoot to scorrrrre... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Please prrrrreparrrrre the rrrrreplay! Huberrrrrrrt, number nine! Now the rrrrresult is Cafundéu two, Qazox zerrrrro! The trrrrravel agency Fidomund has the best destinations for you to go! We have trrrrrips to Taeshan in the middle of war rrrright now! Or a morrrrre common destination, wherrrrre the snow had saved a place for beauty and sporrrrrts, in Septentrrrrrionia? You choose, contact us now!”

THE SECOND HALF: with the advantage of two goals conquered in the first half, the Monopolists went to the last part of the game with the only objective to control the result and guarantee the three points. But the first minutes were difficult ones for the Cafundelenses, as Qazox really want to recover, and attacked hard and in an efficient way. In the first five minutes, Kardec was obligated to make three saves, and complained a lot with his team mates of the defence. After these five tense minutes, it seemed that Cafundéu would be able to defend better, and Qazox’s pressure even seemed to end. That was just an illusion. Soon after, they attacked again, and reached the goal. Titov missed the header after a crossing to the area, and Folks could take the ball and shoot to the goal, giving no chance to Kardec, someone who stopped even Miso Kite.

David Nefasto, sitting on the bench, gave no indication that he was regretting the change in Cafundéu’s formation that was done during half time (the entrance of Datena in Cícero’s place meant that Cafundéu was adopting a 3-5-2 instead of the 4-4-2, with Renildo playing as a midfielder). Instead, he just gave few orders to the wingers, and asked Silveira to help in the defence. He seemed very calm, in a moment when the supporters were nervous and anxious to see if Qazox would be able to score again. The game was becoming nervous too, with many fouls, and the number of good goal chances was decreasing, with the goalkeepers having time to rest and just watch the game. In fact, this was Cafundéu’s way to control Qazox’s improvement and prepare to end the game dispute. In the 74th minute, Hubert exchanged passes with Alves, who then dribbled a defender, the goalkeeper, and then shot to the goal.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Alves’s goal): “Ball goes to Túlio in the midfield, Cafundéu holding the ball... Folks challenges him... and it is a foul, no doubt! Another foul in the game! Túlio will take it, sends to Huberrrrrrt in the entrrrrrance of the arrrrrea, good pass to Alves... he rrrrreceives the ball back, but can’t beat the defence... makes the pass back to Alves, he goes to the drrrrribble... drrrrribbles Sharrrrrman... and the goalkeeper! Just touches the ball to the goal... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Send us this rrrrreplay now! Alves, number seven! Cafundéu thrrrrree, Qazox one! Worrrrrried if your mobile phone will explode while in your pocket? Yes, many things can be harrrrrrmful to a pocket, so you must prrrrrotect it! Protecta Corrrrrp. crrrrreated the pocket shield, the only prrrrotection available to your pocket! Get one today! Pay for two and bring one home!”

JORGE LANG’S INTERVIEWS: and the Cafundelenses did their homework today. The victory over Qazox was what the supporters were expecting, and what the team needed to start another battle for the World Cup title. The coach David Nefasto commented: “We started well. A win, three points... we couldn’t ask for more. If we want to win this cup, we need to keep winning.” The midfielder Silveira decided to comment more about the difficulties in the game: “Qazox was motivated too for this game. Even we being the favourites, the Qazoxians were really willing to win. And the tears on the face of their coach after the referee whistled the end of the game are the proof.” Now Cafundéu has to continue winning, and the next game is against The Bostopian Empire, surely a game which the supporters expect the team to easily win.

http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/6667/cafqaz2.jpg (http://img21.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cafqaz2.jpg)
Player of the match Hubert controlling the ball

CAFUNDÉU 3x1 QAZOX

Place: Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt.
Attendance: 127,198 people (it seems a family got stuck in the traffic on their way to the stadium).
Time: 20:00 Cafundelense time (22:00 local time).
Climate: rainy, 12ºC.
Referee: Ian Loryn Grahasp (Sorthern Northland).
Assistants: Emehat Semriid and Zalen Vamharat (Yafor 2).
POTM: Hubert (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cícero (Datena 45’), Renildo, Titov and João Carlos; Silveira, Fabinho (Abreu 80’), Serrano and Marossi (Túlio 60’); Alves and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

QAZOX: Klick; Munford, Sharman, Escareno and Swinson; Fuston, Habib (Palin 67’), Folks and Gillespie (Begaye 45’); Kenworthy and Swords (Kuhlman 78’).
Coach: Raul de Olivares.

Goal:CAF: Hubert 34’/41’ , Alves 74’.
QAZ: Folks 57’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Line-up for the next game: Kardec; Rogério, Renildo, Titov and João Carlos; Silveira, Jules, Serrano and Marossi; Alves and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Referee: Arthur Brown (Bazalonia).

WC goalscorers (proper):

2- Hubert
1- Alves

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu x Qazox – focus on player: #9 Hubert

Hubert was clearly the player of the match, but not only because of his goals and of his assist to Alves’s goal. It was much because of his attitude in the field. He was ready to sacrifice himself to give Cafundéu the victory.

It was clear that his mind was focused entirely in the game since before it started. The game was scheduled to start late, to suit the preferences of the television channels. In Natestadt, the expectation of the game grew during the day. Time was passing...

And the day will end for some... as the night begins for one. The Sun left, and that was the signal that the game was approaching. The Monopolists travelled to the Arena, to met thousands of supporters waiting for them and for Qazox.

The game started, and he received the ball in his first chance in the game. Unfortunately, he was tackled just before he could shot. His frustration for failing was clear, it could be seen in his face. It’s the madness in his eyes.

Cafundéu was playing well, but Hubert wanted more. He was hungry, wanting the ball every play. When Serrano stopped in the midfield looking for options, he breaks the night to cry: “Give the ball to me!” Hubert receives it... and it ends inside the goal.

After being considered just an average attacker for years, even while he was in the National Team, Hubert was finally proving to everyone that he has talent. Between the best players of the Monopolists, lies a solitary son from the city of Submiria, born Hubert Munch.

His performance in this game is one to remember, at least for him. He alone was the main responsible for Cafundéu’s victory, and he knows this. For the smile stayed on the face of the attacker for a long time, even after the end of the game.

Prux

22-03-2009, 04:20

Prux@WC45.com
Adverts blocked by Sorthern Northland

Despite 2 first half goals from Energizer Bunny, the Adverts lost to Sorthern Northland 3-2, thanks to a hat-trick from Ham Hyi-san.

So now a win against Ad’ihan is needed. Perhaps our soccer team can beat them as our hockey team did, but it doubtful, as the Adverts are getting kind of stale.

Prux World Cup 45 Qualifying Schedule:

(All 1st half matches were played at a baseball field: McCoy Stadium in Pawtucket, capacity 21,963.)
(all 2nd half Home Matches to be played the Griffin Stadium in Pawtucket, Prux, Capacity 67,500.)
@ Ierissos D 1-1
vs. Rymeria W 5-3
@ Milchama L 1-2
vs. Govindia W 6-1
@ Akbarabad W 2-0
vs. Septentrionia W 4-3
@ Arroza W 2-0
vs. Ierissos W 1-0
@ Rymeria W 1-0
vs. Milchama D 2-2
@ Govindia W 5-1
vs. Akbarabad W 1-0
@ Septentrionia L 0-1
vs. Arroza D 2-2
(RECORD: 9-3-2)
World Cup 45 (Group ??) @ ???
M1: Sorthern Northland L 2-3
M2: Ad’ihan @ Holmes Stadium, Columbia
M3: Capitalizt SLANI @ Bætica Stadium, Cordubovica
WC Record: (0-0-1)

Kelssek

22-03-2009, 07:55

Desolation. Pure and utter desolation. The blackness was overwhelming. Mark Tupper decided to switch on the lights. That was better. His employers at Football Kelssek were on the line again.

"You know, since walkovers only count as 3-0, the team could've just not turned up and gotten a better result."

"Uh huh."

"And it would have saved on transportation costs. Perhaps, since we're going to get eliminated anyway, you could just do that for the rest of the matches?"

"Hmm. Yeah." Mark Tupper said, expending as little energy to make the noises as possible.

"You sound a little tired. Get some rest. Talk to you soon."

"Bye." Tupper told the dial tone.

----INTERMISSION FOR HAIKU----

Desolation. Pure,
And utter desolation.
Blackness overwhelms.

---------------------------------

His mobile rang again.

"Hello?" Mark Tupper said, weakly.

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh. Okay," he deadpanned back. The line went dead.

Cassadaigua

22-03-2009, 18:47

Courtney’s Space

As much as I try not to admit it, it was hard not to get at least somewhat emotional when we took to the field for the match against Milchama. When the Cassadagan national anthem played, how could we not take the moment to savor how far we’ve come as a nation in a reasonably short amount of time. On the other side of the field was Milchama, the nation who finished as the runner up in World Cup 39. I was 10 years old during that World Cup, but I remember watching the final with my parents. At that moment of my life, I had already fallen in love with the sport of soccer, so I couldn’t miss the game. The greatest two teams in the world at the time were going at it, and I watched the game. My parents told me that I had rooted for Milchama that night. I don’t really remember that, but I don’t think that they would make something like that up. Maybe I just liked the color of their kits, or I liked their flag. As emotional as I may have got, that was nothing compared to what my parents were thinking in the stands. I don’t think they ever planned on going to Demot anytime in their life and it would be to see both me and my country in the World Cup. My mother gave me a great piece of advice before the match, “Courtney, we’ll be doing the crying up here watching you play and we’ll do enough for all of us. You go out there and do your best to get a win!” I know how exciting this is, because as much as you will hear me saying in these blogs that I never expected to be playing for a national team because Cassadaigua had never attempted anything at the level before, I can only imagine what my parents are thinking, and how they really never thought anything like this would happen. The looks in the eyes of the Milchama players wasn’t anything like we had. They had done this before and they had quite a confidence in them that they were going to beat us. It wasn’t arrogance, just strong confidence and there is nothing wrong with that.

We lined up to get the game started, and as different as the circumstances may have been, we knew what we had to do as it was the same as it always is. Eleven on eleven and the team that executes better will be the team that wins the match. Milchama played well, and they got the victory, 4-2, as you’re already aware if you are someone who reads my blogs frequently. They had a great qualifying campaign, but they also know that it means nothing for them now as everyone is starting at zero once again. They got the first goal of the game, but when we tied it in the 24th minute, we showed them that we could get things done as well. Stacie Kerrigan continues to be our shooting star. I didn’t have much to do with the scoring play, Meghan Burns and Christine Scott set her up. Sadly, we gave up a late first half goal that we do wish we could have had back, because I really think the tone in the locker rooms would have been a lot different if we were all tied then us being down by one. Again, though, we did tie the match. I was able to outleap the defender covering me for a header that I beat to the keeper’s right for the goal. Credit Meghan Burns for the perfect delivery on the corner. I made sure to keep that ball as a souvenir, my first goal in the World Cup! After sixty minutes, we were tied at two, but Milchama just never let up. They earned their two goals they got after that point, and deserved to win the match. I do think we played well last night, but it was not good enough. Next up for us is a match that we have to win to keep advancement hopes alive, against Kura-Pelland in Mirria.

Candelaria And Marquez

22-03-2009, 19:11

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>WC45>Latest
Few thrills, one spill, as C&M take comfortable first victory
By Mack Hession

One down, one to go then – as C&M eased to the three points in their opening World Cup 45 match against a Rennidan side with rather too much on their minds to cope with an Elgin Dannat team in full fluency. The only real gripe could be the Big Blues’ failure to put the game to bed during a dominant first forty-five, nor keep a clean sheet; with Joel Sbaïz forced to carry the can for the latter, and David Spooner and Abdul Ibadulla again guilty of inexplicable profligacy up front.

Rennidan’s form since their failure to make Kura-Pelland or… where was it again?... might well have made them narrow favourites against Dannat’s stuttering Candelariasians, but in the final reckoning theirs was a lacklustre return to the big time. Or perhaps C&M had simply learnt a new trick over recent months – namely coping with national teams fired up by unpleasant circumstances back home. Our own commentators may rightfully have taken more notice of the grimmer realities of the situation, past or present, in Taeshan, Albundania, New New Mo Land and now Rennidan, that serve to bring home just how unsettled the world beyond our quiet shores remains. But on the football field all have provided equally unpleasant reminders of how even the most meagre of opposition can find renewed cause for battle in the shadow of domestic conflict, all in their own way becoming heroes to one set of their beleaguered people or the other thanks to their performances against little ol’ us. Almost makes one long for a civil war, does it not? Anything to give our own pampered ‘heroes’ something more than their modest CAMAFA pay packets to fight for.

But enough of the prerequisite moaning – a couple of ghastly misses and Sbaïz’s late howler aside, this was a professional performance by players and management alike, and easily enough to brush aside the Rennidanians. Jaime Kuu will not be exactly nervous after this, but the game against the Eesseff is hardly relevant to Candelariasian hopes of a second straight knock-out berth – all attention will now be firmly focussed on the Bazalopes, and the fight for second place. Some might slam the lack of ambition inherent in this, for the Eesseff have been far from their all-conquering selves for quite some months now, but Dannat’s pragmatism is to be applauded. Rumours abound that changes will be made prior to the Freestone encounter, with those carrying knocks given a day off to prepare for Bazalonia, and a Zec-Mercado axis more than passingly reminiscent of the Vahala Invitational final likely to be given a chance with Ibadulla ploughing the lone furrow. A goalless draw against Kuu’s men and women would represent a massive result.

At the very least, Eric O’Brien and Harvey Vavasour look unlikely to make the next clash after coming off worst from clashes against their boisterous opponents. C&M found an early twelfth man in Newmanistanian ref Kyle Jones, a veteran accepting no nonsense from Rennidan and carding both Henry Iopi and Witern Wallase inside ten minutes. It all but put the kybosh on the white-clad side’s natural game, with the more lightweight Candelariasians soon permitted to display their greater inventiveness and experience, if not end product.

Instead, it was left to Aaron Kortsarian to open the scoring, with the Cafundó do Juta star arguably C&M’s best player of the moment, never mind on the day. The Allemali native started and finished the move, with Vavasour – a former KT Hotspur team-mate – taking the vital touch around Daniel Samman to leave Kortsarian through on goal. Vavasour’s game would end soon after, at the feet of Samman himself, prompting howls of protest from the benches and stands alike. The scars inflicting by and on Robert Golos and Matteo Corradini live long in the memory – there were minor scuffles between Candelariasian and Rennidan supporters in Skyhaven pre-match, though neither set of visitors were in great enough number for the situation to roll too far out of hand – but Samman’s challenge was hardly in the same league when considered in the cold light of day. The Central United centre-half still received a meaningful glare from Fortal, but you can bet the number five and Vavasour will be having words on the matter when they get back to Rose of Sharon, even so.

Lawrence Amey was, for once, a more than able replacement however, winning the second-half corner from which Gwynfardd Lopulalan turned in the second to give C&M room to breathe. C&M then endured the inevitable sticky spell at 2-0, but when Rennidan finally pulled one back it was well against the run of play; a breakaway from a poor Ben Zec pass to Kortsarian ending in one of the opposition’s bouncy young strikers putting it away – Selet Loek getting the final touch after Sbaïz’s mishap, perhaps unsurprisingly given the overwhelming attention paid to his partner Drunn Deleks throughout the ninety minutes by Enrique Silva de Aviz and co.

The Tenderville boy already has the CMSC1 Young Player of the Season gong to his name, and at least a ‘Dru’ on this year’s Golden Boot, but Deleks failed to ignite at Dynamo Park, echoing the performance of most of his colleagues. Bazalonia will be a difficult matter entirely, when C&M make the trip to Parthen.

Elsewhere (because there is an elsewhere, you parochial Penelopes), both hosts contrived to lose their opening matches – and for the competition’s sake, we can only hope that that’s just a blip – while Kura-Pelland pulled a rankings upset over their next-door neighbours (with a side lacking a single Candelarias-based player… there’s one for the record books…). CMSC players who were in action included Port of Clotaire’s Ham Hyi-san, an early contender for the tournament’s own Golden Boot after taking the match ball against Prux, while Shining Daughter Kim Mihyeon handed the Han victory with seconds to spare in Group D.

World Cup 45, Group H, Matchday 1

Candelaria And Marquez 2
Kortsarian 25
Lopulalan 56

Rennidan
Loek 69

***

With great care the manhole cover was slid back, and a pair of sensible shoes clunked down the rungs leading to the bottom of the sewage pipe, torchlight illuminating the less than pleasant ground level.

“Did you have t’try and shake them off, then?”

Jenny Harris MP shook her head as she splashed down onto the floor. “No… Sorry. I took that blasted new duel carriageway, and you know what the A36 junction’s like at this time of the afternoon. They don’t make Gordon Bay City easy to enter, funnily enough. Hi, by the way,” she added, flashing her own torch into the other woman’s face, “Thanks for coming. You didn’t have to…”

Sukie Rohaert shrugged. “Sounded like you needed me. Wasn’t as though I’ve got anything better to do on a Sunday evening, anyway.”

“Didn’t think you would… Christ, you could’ve warned me about the smell, how do you cope with this…?”

Sukie sniffed vaguely. “There’s a smell? I stick my hands in corpses for a living, if you recall? Besides, you’ve been down here yourself, surely? I thought it was required territory for all head honchos down at the M.O.R.T.?”

“Only the civilised bits… This is really where the Svartálfar hang out, then?”

“They don’t have noses, per se… Jen, you do know that they’d all be asleep this time of day, don’t you? Or whatever it is they do… It’d be better to come in the evening, i–”

“I’m not here to see the svarts, Sukie… Here to avoid them, if anything. Hence the time of day. I’d have gone by the cover of darkness if I could, made damn sure that there wasn’t anyone watching me, or you, but it looked like this was the only option I have… Still bloody dark though, isn’t it? Shine your torch down that tunnel, would you?”

Sukie squinted. “That’s not one I’m particularly familiar with, Jen…”

“I know. Let’s proceed, shall us, in case anyone was following me…”

The pair sludged silently down the pipe, the pathologist growing increasing impatient with every step.

“Jenny… Why am I here? In this specific sense, obviously.”

“Moral support, largely. Plus, I didn’t think the possibility of dying would worry you especially.”

“Well, no,” Sukie conceded, “I’m down with dat, obviously. Um. Are you alright, Jen?”

“What do you think?”

“Um. I think you’re probably not. Not that that in itself isn’t perfectly reasonable under the circumstances, so that was a tactless question and I direct you to my previous statement regarding the physical well-being of my typical work colleague… Gosh, it’s getting squelchy here, isn’t it?”

“And that bothers you? Really?”

“I’d have worn thicker socks, certainly. Jen, what are we here for? Please? Because if I have to break both your ankles and carry you back home on my back, I will. Does Steve know you’re here…?”

“No. We’re here to get my son back, Sukie. And you can stay or go, but I’d appreciate your help…”

“Oh… kay. You’re absolutely certain he’s been taken by… what you said he was? Because, y’know, Lyndon mentioned some stuff about… them, back in the day, but I thought they were just… myths?”

“You cavort with goblins and translucent lambs and you’re prepared to call anything a ‘myth’?”

“Fair point. So, er, I’m assuming no-one knows you’re here, and that’s because what you’re planning to do is highly illegal and forward slash or quite likely to result in the collapse of the known universe?”

“Yup. Now shush…”

“Those are footprints, aren’t they? Has someone had the same idea as us, or…?”

At that moment, both women caught sight of purposeful movement further down the pipe, and flashed their torches in its direction. A figure turned to meet them, causing mouths to drop open all round.

“You!?!”

Elves Security Forces

22-03-2009, 20:16

This will not be an ad and RP.

Elves Security Forces

22-03-2009, 20:17

Valanora Times
A Long Winded Journey

A win is a win is a win is what they say, regardless of the type of performance a team puts out. So long as the three points is captured, that is the all that matters at the end of the day. Is it enough though to merely want the victory and not want beautiful football to be the cause of that success? I am not talking about dominating opponents, putting your foot on their throat when they are down. No, I am talking about clean, beautiful football that awes and inspires a new generation to take up the game. Traditionally, that is what the Marauders have given their fans, the most beautiful of football with an aggressive demeanor that never boiled over into cards. Yet that was not on display in the opening match of group play here in the Finals of the World Cup against the Bazalopes of Bazalonia. Instead of that flowing and majestic attacking style, the game was a muddled mess in the midfield that saw each side accumulate three yellow cards. May it be that after Razov's early strike that Kuu ordered his side to foul up the build up play of their opposition, or if the Bazalopes were just successful in their physical tactics against the Marauders. Regardless of the reason behind it, what resulted for the duration of the match was unattractive and sometimes very hard football to watch.

While the defense has had a step up in intensity since Kuu's mid-qualifying take over, it has also developed a bite that has gotten them into trouble. While I do not yet doubt the young manager's tactical senses, I wonder if it is wise to deviate from the passive aggressiveness of the previous managers. It has proven to be an effective tactic for previous managers, with the three titles as all the evidence one would ever need to support the argument. I also have noticed that we're bypassing Laborious Hawk in many of our buildups, which is something that is rather disturbing. Hawk is the best player on the team, and perhaps the best player in the entire world, and leaving him out of the play is something that simply can not be done. Everything the man touches turns to gold and his record alone shows that things can only turn out well when he is getting service.

I know that the Finals brings out the best in the opposition, and ourselves usually, and that we have a huge target on our backs with the number one rating and titles, but it is no excuse for that kind of display. I know that the top teams are often victims of their own hype, Demot's and SLANI's opening day losses are proof enough, but these are professional footballers were are talking about. If their heads are becoming too big for the britches, its' the managers' job to bring them down a notch or two to the appropriate level, calm their nerves if they are a ball of nervous energy, etc... This is where I think Kuu is naive and is costing the squad in. He had a wonderful single season at Raynor City, this is true, but anyone with just a handful of managerial talent can take the side into the top two or even win the championship. United is a machine that runs itself and just needs the manager to pick the starting eleven for the day.

To that end, I think some of the burden does have to come down to the players. They know full well that they are dealing with a slight inexperienced manager, and they should be doing whatever they can individually to best prepare for this game. This is not the time to be needing external motivation, you're representing the best footballing country in the world at the biggest stage in football. That alone should be motivation enough for any and all players of any skill level, much less the best this country has to offer. I know the likes of va Drake, Hawk, and Razov are all veterans and self motivated spirits, but the rest of the squad still lags behind in this regard.

If ever there was a chance to prove me wrong, the upcoming fixture would certainly be the most appropriate match to do so. After a brutal match of unattractive football, and a success in using this tactic in the Vahala Invitational Final, Dannat is likely going to be employing a similiar style for his C&M side against the Marauders. If there was any more needed motivation besides the three points and a possible sealing of a spot in the second round of the tournament, there is also the severe tension and political history between the two nations, as well as footballing history. Despite the fact that many Vanorians make their trade in the islands, the C&M government continues to deny the existence of Valanora and our non-human population. Indeed, the only mention of Valanora is of Elves Security Forces, which their media defiles with the use of Eesseff to describe the region. However, as evidenced with the move of Green Island opening up its' doors to a Vanorian embassy, there is progress on this front, even if there seems to be some unstable goings inside the island nation itself.

Strictly sticking to the footballing perspective, while Valanora holds the edge in the record, they suffered a horrible humbling experience when the Big Blues stole the first Vahala Invitational from them in penalties. While the Big Blues could argue that they have a stain against the Marauders after they broke their friendly record, that loss on home soil soo shortly after winning a title still stings in the memories of many players and fans alike. It's been a very long wait for those players looking to recover from that blow, and while the match does provide that, they need to keep their focus on achieving the victory. A slip up against the Big Blues would lead to a very nervy last day fixture against a Rennidan side that has been known to stir the waters of the upset, as SLANI itself would attest to. Kuu absolutely needs to have the side completely focused on this match and getting the result, but staying true to the type of playing style that has given the Vanorians such high regard in the footballing community. Then, and only then, can we start to look forward and begin another long journey, one that ultimately would end up with another World Cup title to add to the Hatire Memorial trophy case.

Article by Lairilthor Celethaneth

Demot

22-03-2009, 20:56

Demot Daily ~ Slipping Away

Not the start you wanted to see from the lads and lasses in the last World Cup for the Dynamo, losing to the underachievers in the Archregimancy. Despite dominating the game for almost the entire ninety minutes, the Dynamo were the victims of suspicious refereeing and counter attacks from their Monk counterparts. All night the Dynamo brought the game to the opposition, with Anthony the Great's squad being peppered with shots all night, but coming up big for the Monks was Adrian of Solovetsky in their attempt to shake off the mantle of underachievers. It is the same moniker that the Dynamo need to be removing if they are to now rebound quickly enough to drag themselves back into competition for the knockout rounds. Rotherwell once again proved he was world class with a brace, but the rest of the squad needs to be involved in the attack if the side is going to be moving on in the tournament that is in their own country!

Up next for the Dynamo is a shell shocked Kelssek side who were walloped five to nil by Septentronia on the opening matchday. This hurts the Dynamo's chances in two ways, the first being the obvious in that Kelssek will be looking to bounce back hard and salvage some pride after that humiliation in front of the entire world. The second being is that Septentronia is fat better than anticipated and now has a very comfortable goal difference to be their crutch if it comes down to tiebreakers. The Dynamo should be able to take both of these last two matches handedly, but that was thought to be true of the first match as well. Renário is going to have to conjure some of that Cafundelense spirit and glory if his side is going to be moving forward.

It all needs to start with Orion though, as she is the clear play maker on the side. Having played on two EPL champions sides as well as having a TQCC winners medal to her name, she is the most successful of the midfielders that the manager has to employ. She also happens to be the most talented and has that uncanny ability to see plays developing before they happen. He assist on the first Rotherwell goal was just the result of sublime anticipation of that run by the forward combined with an excellent through ball. Ignaci needs to step up and be that destroyer for the national team the same way he is with his club side. Far too many time was he giving the ball away or missing his tackles that he routinely makes in the DPL. The blame can not be on Theros, there was nothing he could have done differently on the first and last goal, plus he guessed the right direction for the penalty. The tenacity needs to be there and the support needs to shake the Kelssek side, remind them of their embarrassment, and give the Dynamo the edge. Everyone needs to do what is needed of them, and that will create the result the Dynamo need, staving off elimination for another day.

Demot 2
Julius Rotherwell (11, 59)

The Archregimancy 3
Fr. Innocent of Novospassky (24)
Fr. Herman of Optina (67 PK, 90+)

Article by Rich Baker

Daehanjeiguk

22-03-2009, 21:15

World Cup 45 Qualification - Group 2
PRQ: 1-3@ Newmanistan [32] (@ Putnam Lake Stadium, Putnam Lake - ???)
MD1: 2-2 @ Greal [43] (@ who knows where?)
MD2: 1-0 @ Taeshan [31] (@ %$#^)
MD3: 2-0 @ Albundania [UNK] (@ here?)
MD4: 2-3@ Cassadaigua [50] (@ pink!)
MD5: 2-1 vs Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MD6: 1-0 @ Mo Land 3 [141] (@ gemme moland!)
MD7: 4-1 vs Achtervolging [98] (@ Dynasty Imperial Football Stadium, Namgyeong - 51,000)
MQ: @ Booblybobbers
MD8: 2-0 vs Greal [43] (@ Goguryeo Football Stadium, Pyeongyang - 52,000)
MD9: 6-0 vs Taeshan [31] (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD10: 4-0 vs Albundania [UNK] (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD11: 3-0 vs Cassadaigua [50] (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD12: 2-1 @ Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Millerman Sheppard Stadium, Albrecht - 40,614)
MD13: 3-0 vs Mo Land 3 [141] (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD14: 4-0 @ Achtervolging [98] (@ ah-choo!)
PTQ: 0-1 @ Sarzonia [56] (@ The Iron Bowl, Portland - 46,220)
World Cup Finals - Group D
MD1: 3-2 vs Bears Armed [] (@ Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center - 171,337)
MD2: vs Jeruselem [] (@ Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights - 180,278)
MD3: vs The Holy Empire (@ Querzakhi Olympic Stadium, Querzakhi - 157,080)

*** Spring Palace, Hangyeong ***

The Emperor received a special petition.

"What's this now?"

"This is a petition by the Imperial Amateur Football Association to ban players who are not cleared for play by a licensed physician for play."

"And I'm reading this petition because?"

"In the past three weeks, amateur players have been injured owing to playing with other injured players."

The Emperor shook his head. "And banning the injured players from playing will help how?"

"The reason why the IAFA is looking for a ban is because all of those injuries have come from cast-impact incidents. Essentially, the injured players return to the pitch wearing a cast over some broken bones. During play, they will inevitably injure another player by whacking them with the cast. This idea had been spreading over the past three weeks to include non-injured players putting on fake casts just to give them an advantage. It's gotten so bad that players are now wearing full body casts just to play the game. And of course, the more body casts on, the more inflexible the person becomes. Goals have been soaring through the roof, despite the fact that goalies have resorted to using body cast extensions to block the shots. Referees are tired of issuing cards to players using these extensions to stop the play..."

"Alright," the Emperor said, interrupting the adviser's explanation. "And they want me to do something about it? What exactly do they think I can do about it? Ban casts?"

"Well... actually, it's already been resolved. Count Jeong just wanted to send you the notice for laughs."

"Am I laughing?"

"Not yet, sire."

"I don't think I want to laugh." The Emperor dismissed the messenger, waiting for Marquis Pak Yu to come in on his discussion about security and the Imperial Foreign Ministry. As usual, Pak was too prompt and arrived as the messenger was leaving. With him were his escorts, presumably holding the information required.

"We've done it again!" he said instantly.

"Done what again?"

"Adding the Candelariasians has just tipped the balance of security against us. There are far too many people in the Han Empire."

"I hardly imagine that allowing Candelaria And Marquez an embassy could totally change the demographics of the Empire..."

"I'm not talking about that! I mean our embassy row is crowded enough as it is. There are hardly enough spots left in the city, we need to build new places! The Woegyo Center is good enough, but we can't keep sticking ambassadors in that building. They want their own building in their own plot of land, not some high-rise apartment complex that looks like some commoner's spot."

The Emperor seemed a bit confused. "Wait, where do the ambassadors go then?"

"They want their own embassy building, not just a representative."

"Okay... and what's wrong with the Woegyo Center? Isn't it big enough?"

"It is... but not for the reasons that we'd need it to be. Our ambassadors have their own property on which they can serve the needs of our people abroad. I think we should reciprocate the same courtesy by opening some land for foreign embassies."

"But what land?" The Emperor replied. "We've hardly enough land for our people! You want to start giving it out for foreigners?"

"Well, we'd rent it out, but that's beyond the point. Dong-an Street is just way to crowded, and Xi-an Street is just too much market. Maybe if we opened up some plots around Daerim Street... we'd have enough space..."

"There is a reason why we call it Daerim Street... If we have to sacrifice space, there is some unused plots by the Ministry of Domestic Affairs, a little park there."

"A park? But we like parks."

"Not the park! Next to the park!"

"Oh... that's not very big. And besides that, I'd imagine that only the people who fancy parks would want to live there. Especially footballers... do you have any idea how many footballs the Ministry of Domestic Affairs collects because people kick the ball too hard? Anyway, if we open the spots next to the park, we can take out some..." Pak did a quick calculation while his escorts were busily fixing the electronic holographic display of the map. He had the number almost instantly. "10 embassies. That's all that we can fit there. So 10 embassies out, we'd have that as low-rent, just because I don't think most foreigners like parks. Anyway, we're still down by quite a bit. We'll need to check out some more locations... are you laughing?"

"I'm not laughing at you. I'm just remembering what the adviser before you said. He was talking about some new rules in the IAFA."

"And that's funny because?"

"I was just thinking about some unlucky chap getting whacked in the face with a fiberglass arm cast."

"And..." Pak Yu didn't want to say anything about it, so he just brushed it aside. But as he thought about it, it wasn't particularly on topic, but it was funny. He couldn't help but to laugh as well, leaving the escorts confused by the laughing display.

"Alright, enough laughing."

*** Commerce Heights ***

Jang looked at his ticket. The game against Jeruselem, perhaps the biggest fixture for the Han in the Group Stage, and it's perhaps the most perfect set-up for him. As many Han will be present, and he had enough time to plan the whole affair. It was easy enough to get into the country (or affiliated corporate-controlled territories - whatever the hell this was...) and despite his deep appreciation for the notable absence of laws in general, he had a mission to accomplish. A mission that would send a shockwave through the world. And after this, no team would dare wish to play against the Han, especially if they can't go around to protect their team from raging mad people. Without friendly foreign contact, who would want even to do business with the Han Empire? Collapse impending, the Han Empire would turn its ways to peace and tranquility, abandoning the principles of their forebears for the true Way to peace. Self-satisfaction, rather than whole-satisfaction. No one needs more than one needs, and if this demonstration would show that needing too much can be a sin, then Jang would be happy enough.

But he first had to kill once more.

The absence of government made getting his weapon into the stadium, in the land where protesters burning flags for whatever reason often became flags burning protesters for whatever reason, in the land where protests actually became equivalent to riots, in the land where blasphemy was a national (of some nation, if not the corporate-controlling territorial denizenry) pastime and bigotry the national (ditto) sport. And somewhere in this environment, corporations continued to function; perhaps because of the environment.

Regardless, Jang was very much a free man, and his entrance into the stadium was as much unnoticed as it was acknowledged by the flood of advertisements, free gimmicks, and whatnot, unless if you paid the accomplices a good sum of money to get them to stop. And no one wanted to waste good money on it. Jang was happy here. He could live his life in this sort of "Borderland" - oddly recognized by the Empire itself. And again, if his plans went to work, not only would the Han Empire be humiliated, they'd have to suffer the recourse of international action. Be as they are Mujeongbu, they are still Han, and asking the ignorant world to tell the difference wouldn't work much longer if the Mujeongbu could strike with impunity wherever it went.

"Ticket please," the man said.

Jang handed him the ticket without incident. And suddenly he was on the inside of the stadium. And everyone inside was at his mercy.

*** Lucky Cricket Bar, Jungan Street, Hangyeong ***

Son was still having problems, and having resolved to leave the Capital in a day, even if it meant leaving empty-handed, he decided against his better judgment to return one last time to the Lucky Cricket Pub before his return voyage, to give his final farewells. In fact, Baek had invited him for a last round, to celebrate more or less Baek's successful bid for money. "I guarantee that you'll forget that you'll have ever had any challenges to getting money, I guarantee."

"I'd like to know how I'm going to build a road," Son replied.

"You'll get there some time."

"I also promised to build a school and a community center."

"But you're practically building a town in the middle of nowhere. It takes time for people to get these things officially recognized. Right now, the Imperial Assembly just thinks that you're another freeloader. Persistence is key."

"Persistence, I understand. But I've made promises. Promises that I've got to keep."

"Well, we'll have something by the end of this."

By then, they had arrived at the bar, and were entering when Choe was leaping up and down and greeted the two men by accident as he was leaving. "I got the job!" he exclaimed as he tossed a cigarette in Baek and Son's mouths.

Baek calmly removed the cigarette and replied, "Righty, but you do realize that this is supposed to be a cigar."

"But I'm too poor to buy a cigar... besides, it's the intention that matters, not what you do with it."

Son pulled out the cigarette, reflecting on the odd watery taste at the tip of his butt. "Right, and this is for what job now?"

"I got the publication!"

"Another book?" Baek said excited. "Wonderful! What was it?"

"A book of poetry," Hong said from across the room.

Choe nodded as he patted their backs. "It's my second book, but I think I've got the hang of this poetry business. People like reading poetry."

"Especially the really bad ones," Hong remarked.

"Why so hateful?" Baek replied, drawing nearer to the table. "You should be happy for those who make good successes, especially after a long drought."

"I am happy for him. It's the lunatics who accepted the stuff that I'm questioning."

Son was going inside, but Choe drew him outside a little, presumably to have someone with whom he could share his joy. He lighted the cigarette which Baek had returned and quickly began to smoke away. "It's really funny how things go on about life. I spend the first of my many years, writing stories about losers, and I eventually become the loser."

"Yeah," Son replied, not certain what really to say. He really wanted to get back inside, while Choe continued to elaborate on his future plans. After a good two minutes, Baek came back outside to fetch for Son. "I've got some really good news for you!"

Son excused himself politely to go away with Baek, who was talking to his butler about something.

"Son-sshi!" Baek said. "My man's got you some money!"

"Money? For what?"

"Your road, sir," Pak replied.

"When did you get here?"

"I've only just arrived, sir. Your benefactor has decided to come in person to meet with you, so that she may determine whether you are or not a genuine gentleman, sir."

"She is here?" Son replied, surprised to hear that a woman was giving him money.

"She did insist at arriving at her own time, but I had to return to inform you personally of her intentions to finance your operations, to include whatever you may want in the near future."

"How does she have this money?" Son asked, curious as to who this benefactor really was.

"She's been doing her acting down south, near where Master Baek runs his town, sir. I had only met with her recently, and I had recalled that she was looking to engage in philanthropy. When I recalled that you were in need of finances, I knew that she would oblige to help, sir."

"You see?" Baek said. "My man always has a way!"

Son only slightly ignored Baek to give Pak a huge hug. "You're my savior! My goodness, how much trouble you've been put through! Who is she?"

"She's standing behind you, sir."

Son didn't need a second invitation to turn around. He glanced at the door and saw his benefactor, finely dressed in silken linens. Her face was as graceful as he'd imagined her to be, and he'd wondered whether he had forgotten her at all. But every once in a while, he had reasons to remember her. And apparently Min Hansu did not forget her either. "Seunghwa!" he uttered as he fell backward and fainted.

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/Companies/MBC.png

Han Bear Burden of Beating Bears

SONOMA CENTER - In what could have been another fantastic result, a brace from Jeong Jihun and Kim Mihyeon helped put the ahead of the Bears in their opening match for Group D. Yes, disappointing for the ethicists in the crowd, but that didn't stop the fans from cheering as Kim Mihyeon literally grabbed the win in added time. After a first half of largely dominating everything, the Han slipped up towards the later parts of the first half, conceding a goal what was probably a free kick (but just exactly how do they kick? What's foot and what's hand?). Jeong Jihun's first strike was a clinical shot, played off a corner that the Bears allowed on a relatively routine save. The routine save was perhaps just normal, but Jeong Jihun found room in the box (beyond the brawny bears) to net the header from Yi Yeongpyo's cross. But after gaining the lead, the Han suddenly just dropped to playing "keep away", which the Bears apparently liked to play. A quick brawl in the at the half hour left Kim Yongji and An Pilrip with cards, but the referee felt for some odd reason that the brawl was nothing of the sort of misconduct or whatever. The Bears received their own cards, but again, no expulsions, which lent to a pretty competitive atmosphere that wasn't dulled by the fear of faring the pitch well. And it didn't take much longer for the bears to finally get the upper-hand and just shoot the damned ball somewhere. Oddly, it looked like that they used their butt to score, but a goal is still a goal, as long as it's not a hand (except for the Hand of God). In any case, the Han seemed perfectly content to let the Bears score in a probably pious attitude.

Ioshido Toki, despite raging with a fit at the sidelines, decided to make no changes, and somehow that managed to work out alright, as the Han played extra defensively and began playing on the counter-attack. But don't most losing teams do on the defensive and lose? Well, it seems that there was some madness to this work; by playing defensively the Han were supposedly tiring out the strikers, and leaving their defenders open for a quick counterattack break. And while I'm pretty certain most charts would put a bear winning a short run relay, when you've got a bear chasing you, that's got to count for something... and it might have, but with the way that the Han were playing their football, the long shots killed the bears. Jeong Jihun found his best shots happening outside the box, leaving the goalkeeper to stretch at full length just to stop the ball. It was this very stretching that the Bears probably felt was like exercise, but in time was exhausting them much more quickly than running did. And it proved fatal with Jeong Jihun's shot in the 82nd minute. Stealing the ball away from just outside the box, he was practically left with a free shot that the goalkeeper couldn't quite reach. It was that very steal that left the huge player with a bit of a sprain and the bears had to help the medics help stretcher the poor ... bear off the pitch for medical attention. And while the Bears totally dominated possession, it was the long drives and counteracts that were putting the bears on the edge of their seats (well, how does a bipedal bear sit on a chair?). It took Kim Mihyeon's late strike to make their seats drive hot. Despite reaching far enough, the goalkeeper seemed far stretched enough, instead almost punting the ball into the net. Not long after, just giving the Bears one last chance to try to take the ball in, the whistle blew and the Han now stand at a theoretical top of the group.

A theoretical top, which can be extended if the Han manage to defeat Jeruselem. The morally bankrupt barbarians will have the psychological advantage, having topped the Holy Empire's stone men, while also having a winning record over the Han, with a win in a WC40 fixture. Of course, times have changed, teams have changed, and tactics will surely change. Ioshido Toki isn't planning on any serious changes, although he will be looking carefully at Kim Yongji, whose yellow card today puts him at risk. The Han will certainly need to keep some defense against the stone men of the Holy Empire, what with their habit of pounding the ball into dust (literally). In the meantime, the morally bankrupt barbarians will be a tough opponent, if not for their morally bankruptcy then for their barbaric nature upon the field of play. And we've had enough experience to tell us that they are truly barbarians (but honorable ones, if such could be conceived at all); if they weren't so morally bankrupt, they'd be great and worthy opponents, but such excuses as they have for justifying the continued imperfections of their government will not likely give way to any ideological eureka. In any case, Ioshido Toki isn't here to give a lecture on political correctness (and if he did, I'd imagine that MBC would be first on his list of targets for instruction); his job is to win. And the gentleman will win.

Goal Tally
14 - Jeong Jihun (2)
10 - Kim Mihyeon (1)
5 - Kim Daeeui
2 - Baek Jihun, Song Jongguk, Shin Ganyak, Yi Yeongpyo
1 - Pak Yongho

Demot

23-03-2009, 00:09

Matchday 2 Results SLANI Region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14625176&postcount=21)

New Manhattan

23-03-2009, 00:37

Matchday 2 results — Demot region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14625258&postcount=22)

Daehanjeiguk

23-03-2009, 02:37

Jeru FC

23-03-2009, 03:06

Jeru FC dressing rooms ...

Kaye: Wow!
Julie: I can't believe it!
Count: See team, we can do it. We have one more game.
Kaye: I wish I could play.

Count: Watch the wet floor Kaye, we don't want you falling over on your crutches.
Kaye: Yes coach.
Julie: Didn't she fall over before?
Kaye: I'm just getting used to these things.

Gray: Kaye is funny when falls over.
Kaye: It wasn't wet here before.
Gray: I was mopping the floor ... hey, the coach asked me to clean the floor.
Coach: That's because Gray split a bucket of ice all over the place.

Gray: But I tripped over a dog!
Kaye: There's no dogs here Gray.
Julie: Never mind, we've all happy!
Kaye: I feel like I'm not contributing.

Count: You're still part of the team.
Julie: We have hope for the next game.
Count: Yes, see ... we're a good team here.
Gray: Great, more money!

Julie: For your porno ...
Kaye: Yeah, pervert ...
Count: OK guys, it's been a good day but there's more work to do. We'll have to train harder and work harder now. We must win the next game.
Julie: Yes, we want to make the 2nd round to show we're a real World Cup team.

Kaye: More news coach?
Coach: It's from the Jeruselem game ... Mary Sallad is dead.
Julie: No, not Mary Sallad! It can't be true!
Coach: It's confirmed.

Kaye: What happened?
Coach: Shot by a sniper but ... probably she wasn't the intended target.
Julie: NO WAY!
Coach: Team, we're going win the next game. We're going to win for Mary Sallad!

Jeruselem

23-03-2009, 03:49

Jeruselem Government News

Mary Sallad shot by assassin, Queen Mother's sister dead

Mary sallad, the popular face of Naked News Jeruselem reporter and former Tour de Qazox cyclist is dead. Her life ended in Commerce Heights, Metropolitan Stadium where she died from a gunshot to the throat from the bullet of an assassin. She is also the sister of Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas, the current Queen Mother and Aunt of Queen Katherine Alexandra Dallas.

Jeruselem had just gone down 0-2 to the Han Empire aka "The Crazy People", and the two teams were congratulating each other on their efforts when a bullet intended for the Han coach Ioshido Toki struck Mary Sallad. Despite the best efforts of everyone, Mary Sallad was pretty much dead after she had fallen. It was close call for Jeruselem coach Ryan Greenly too who almost got killed by a hand grenade, only be saved by Oksana "Pups" Ferris. Han victory celebrations were put on hold after the incident with Dazza Dallas losing her recently discovered sister.

Dazza Dallas could not be reached for comment but her daughter Jacinta spoke for the Sallad and Dallas family
"It's a sad day. Not because we lost on the football field to the Han but because a good person died today. Mary was a hard working Mum who raised two daughters and never said bad things about other people. She wasn't the smart person around but she always did good for other people not expecting a lot in return. As the sister of my Mum, she didn't ask for money or favours - just love and family time. She died doing what she loved to do. She wanted to be voice of the Jeruselem people, the public face of our nation. She was about to retire too. Mum thinks she killed her sister by sending her to cover the games in Commerce Heights but it's not her fault. Mary was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The two girls Kate and Jacinta as distraught. It's painful losing their mother."

Jeru FC coach, the good Count said
"We won today, but we're dedicating our next game to Mary. She gave her time to cover Jeru FC games and give us publicity. The Jeru FC team want to do all they can to dedicate their time for Mary who died too young."

Coach Ryan Greenly who was in the action next to Mary said
"It could have been me or the Han coach, but it was Mary who took the hit. Everyone is shocked especially the Han. Marie is quite upset and she's not the type to be upset easily. The team are in shock but they'll be fired up for the next game. We're going have a special strip with the face of Mary Sallad on it for the game against the bears with weapons. We can't save Mary or bring her back like that Jesus fella, but we're going to win and we're not going take the game lightly. Marie's already told the team she wants everyone to put in a big game for a big win."

Naked News Jeruselem will broadcast a special "The Best of Mary Sallad" dedication tomorrow to celebrate the life of Mary Sallad including classic Mary Sallad interviews with Ryan Greenly. Yes, there will be nudity as Mary would have liked it.

Qazox

23-03-2009, 03:52

Saint Nash Courier
If you haven't heard it before, It's News to you!
SPORTS
WORST DEFEAT EVER

Dancougar took massive amounts of revenge for Qazox's earlier 5-2 beatdown in Danougar, as the Black wings scored 5 times in the first half on the way to a 6-2 pasting of Qazox, which was once again eliminated from the World Cup after 2 matches. Qazox will play the reserves against the Bostopian Empire, like it matters.

The 6 goals allowed were the most goals that Qazox has ever given up in match, and the differential was tied for the worst defeat in team history.

Goals:
DAN: Stefan Rosberg- 16'
DAN: Alexei Voronzoff- 21'
DAN: Augustine Dennin- 32'
DAN: Stefan Rosberg- 37'
DAN: Dwayne Landro- 43'
QZX: Angel Kenworthy- 52'
DAN: Dwayne Landro- 67'
QZX: Angel Kenworthy- 85'

SCHEDULE:
MD1: Cafundéu @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt LOST 1-3
MD2: Dancougar @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt LOST 2-6
MD3: The Bostopian Empire @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt

Dancougar

23-03-2009, 05:25

Dancougar News!!
All right, Xavier, you better make my Pitt loss happen.

Shooting clinic pushes Wings to knockout stage: On the last day of practice before the match with Qazox, forward Augustine Dennin expected that the morning would begin with a tape session. He got one, but not what he expected. Rather than give a tactical breakdown of key strengths and weaknesses of the Phoenix, coach Shigeru Takeuchi simply showed a single match, in its entirety, without so much as a word until it concluded.

The game? The 5-2 drubbing the Phoenix handed the Wings in the National Stadium back on the opening day of qualification. His only words? "Let's turn it around."

The Wings had since beaten the Phoenix 1-0 on the road, but sitting through the three-goal loss was nevertheless a powerful motivator. The team took its coach's words to heart, scoring five first half goals en route to an emphatic 6-2 victory. The result, coupled with Cafundeu's victory over The Bostopian Empire, ensures their place in the next round.

"Even without coach popping in with his notes, we saw a lot of obvious things we were doing wrong when we watched the tape of that game," said Dennin, "and it wasn't just one or two players, it was everyone. We've come a long way from then, but it's a reminder that it could happen any time if we don't take the field ready to play."

They were ready, but the first fifteen minutes gave no indication which path the game would take. Both teams got chances in the early going and played each other with about equal energy. Angel Kenworthy, who terrorized the Dancougar defense in their first meeting, nearly opened the scoring in the 8th minute, but this time Luke Brengle looked more composed in goal, turning the shot aside. Lyle Dylandy responded with a free kick that forced Marc Klick into action.

In the 16th minute, Stefan Rosberg put Dancougar up 1-0 with another strong run to goal, sweeping through the box and lifting the ball coolly past the diving Klick. Rosberg continues to show the form that has given Sporting Lakeport fans every reason to get excited about the fall Apertura. He's a success story from the expansive west. He graduated early from Mount Fujiko State after playing in Di Bradini Cup VIII and was selected to the national team before even taking the field for Lakeport. Although he was impatient early on and too eager to make an impact, he's settled down and provided solid returns. He scored 16 goals during the season playing alongside Newmanistan's Jeremy McAllister and scored five goals during qualifying.

"Stefan was asked to pull double duty from day one, and he's responded magnificently," said coach Shigeru Takeuchi. "He's not trying to force things as much as he used to and he's a much better team player."

Rosberg stands in contrast to his partner on the front line, Augustine Dennin. At 33, he's likely playing in his last international tournament, but he expects to play a few more years at the club level. It was precisely that level of experience that Candelarian club Marquez-Onware were looking for what it acquired a wealthy benefactor who was eager to bring in new players for a run at league honors. Although he'd been a successful forward at Yuki City Athletic in the D-League, he only had two career international goals when the move was made and was a spectator for most of the matches for which he was selected.

But he was given a starting spot by Takeuchi and therefore a chance to reveal the potential the team had been sitting on while it rallied behind Dan Potts and Shishio Jinguuji. He is, after all, a member of a select group of Dancougarans to have won an international title - he lifted Globe Cup 6 with Athletic.

Dennin would add to his own goal total for this cycle after Rosberg opened the scoring, but first he watched captain Alexei Voronzoff double the team's lead. It came only five minute after Rosberg's and was a powerful, rising shot from the edge of the box that came after Dennin himself had an effort blocked by a defender. The Wings, rather than sit back on their lead, pushed forward to try and put the game out of reach. Dennin scored in the 32nd minute with he collected a rebound off Klick and poked a shot over the fallen 'keeper.

Everything was going in for the Wings, while Qazox continued to struggle with their own chances. Matilda Swords had a shot crash off the post, and the Phoenix were denied a penalty shout just after Dennin's goal when Matt Bogart appeared to handle the ball inside the penalty area. Raul de Olivares was livid, because if his team had pulled one back then, they might have stayed in it. Instead, Rosberg made it a rout with a 37th-minute volley and even Dwayne Landro got into the act. The defensive midfielder hammered home a Dylandy corner just minutes before halftime to make it 5-0.

"Every pass felt right," said Dylandy. "We had great ball movement and they were completely flat for the last fifteen minutes of the first half. We took advantage of that."

Qazox got on the board shortly after the restart, though, through Angel Kenworthy. The Wings were knocking the ball around carelessly when a turnover spawned a counterattack that no one was in a good position to stop. Swords found Kenworthy wide open at the far side of the box, and the shot snuck between Brengle and the post. The Phoenix fans had something to cheer about, but it was going to take an epic comeback to get anything out of the match.

Instead, they got Landro. Landro came into the match with a single international goal to his name in two tournaments-worth of work. When he joined Shuukyuu Kishin after Oxen Cup VII, the team switched formation to a 3-5-2 so it could insert him as an immediate starter. The man responsible for that change? Takeuchi. Since then, the club's midfield has become increasingly centered around him, yet his role with the national team was outlined as a more defensive one by Solomon Bilbao. Takeuchi kept him there but has helped to increase his confidence, and the thundering strike from Landro in the 67th was proof of it.

"They were giving us lots of openings, and I was able to get forward and make a difference on the attack," said Landro. "I think I could get used to this!"

By then, Takeuchi was already putting on substitutes to close out the game, up 6-1 with still over 20 minutes to play. It was the same humiliation they'd been subject to at the hands of de Olivares' Phoenix so many months ago in the National Stadium. The Wings continued to dominate possession, although Qazox got another goal before the match ended, with Kenworthy punching home a corner kick with a header in the 85th.

The six goals are the most ever surrendered by Qazox in a WCC-sanctioned match.

Backups on display in battle for group title: The Wings need a win or draw to finish first in Group C, although they aren't expected to field a full-strength lineup in their final match against defender runners-up Cafundeu. The two teams are the only ones in the field who are assured of advancement to the knockout stage.

"This is an excellent opportunity to rest some of our starters and keep the rest of the roster fresh," said coach Shigeru Takeuchi. "Of course, I still expect our players to give a good match. We would not want to disrespect Cafundeu."

The teams have not played a WCC match since the World Cup 40 group stage, a 4-3 victory for Dancougar that saw them advance with just three points, beating out Cafundeu and Bostopia on tiebreakers. The goalscorers for Dancougar that day were Boris Boskov, Neil Wellesley, and twice for Shiro Furuya. Now, only midfielder Lyle Dylandy links the current team to the Monopolists, and he's not even going to start.

Starting XI: Komarov; Berber, Heath, Sakuraba, Wolford; Chojnacki, Florentino, Hayashi, McNespy; Nagasawa, Stadler
Substitutes: Brengle; Bogart, Cecilia; Dylandy, Kaizuka, Klingensmith; Garbett

Norwellia

23-03-2009, 09:54

http://i658.photobucket.com/albums/uu303/Norwellia/NWFA-1.png

Regarding their early elimination from the World Cup tournament, Norwellia expresses its condolences to the governments of Kelssek and Cassadaigua, whose records on civil liberties and equality continue to impress the Norwellian people. The collective fan, player and coach ownership of the Norwellian World Football Association voted unanimously to officially wish these teams the best of luck in their future sporting endeavors, and to invite them to scenic Oceanview for friendly football matches in anticipation of World Cup XLVI after all three nations have made their respective national team selections for that tournament. UVEW Stadium (United Video Equipment Workers, Local 278) is expected to be completed in anticipation of the Baptism of Fire competition, and several local hotels and restaurants have offered their services free of charge for the duration of your teams' stay in our city.

We eagerly await your correspondence.
Agotha Kárpáthy
President, Norwellian World Football Association
800 Sunset Boulevard, Oceanview, Norwellia

Starblaydia

23-03-2009, 16:09

Group B Still Wide Open
Starblaydi progression hangs in balance

'The only objective is to progress from the first round', said the manager. On the face of it, Starblaydia are doing a fine job at the moment, sitting undefeated on top of their group. They are, however, just a point ahead of their two nearest rivals: Jeru FC and Jasīʼyūn. Starblaydia just require a single point against Jasīʼyūn in order to ensure qualification, while the Paripanan team know that a draw most likely will not be good enough for them and will have to go for the win. It is still possible for Starblaydia to be dumped out of this group on the last matchday, if both Jeru FC and Jasīʼyūn gain victories to leave Starblaydia two tantalising points from progression to the knockouts.

All this nail-biting came about, however, because Starblaydia failed to finish off a dogged Lovisa team, leaving themselves open to the sort of counter-attack that saw Lovisa lift the Cup of Harmony not so long ago. Starblaydi fans will be hoping that it was just a blip and that it was the warning that the team needs to get themselves into their groove and go on to win the next five games.

Starblaydia's match started well - better than against Jeru FC, at least - as they got themselves on the scoresheet fairly early as Yuri Vegachenko drilled his half-volley through a crowd of players to give Starblaydia lead after eleven minutes. Many players went close, indeed Ázëwyn Fëanáro nearly took her tally to two in two games, having scored the only goal of the game against Jeru FC, but was denied by an excellent reaction save by Fritjof Sievers in the Lovisan net. Eventually Starblaydia broke through again, though it took until nearly the end of the first half before Mus'haf's chip into the area was met by the head of Valrauncion. The elf made it two for Starblaydia and Lovisa had no real answer to the champions' dominance.

Until the second half, that is.

Henryk Kasperczak got his team together and the 3-4-3 formation shifted subtly in order to expose some perceived weaknesses in Starblaydia's own Diamond. It didn't take long before their first breakthrough, indeed their first real shot on target squirmed past Taniquentar to give the Lovisans some hope. Over thirty-five minutes of the match remained but Starblaydia seemed out of ideas, continually trying to break through the brick wall in precisely the same way they'd done in the first half. Lex Panarii was frantically waving his hands while Leandro Perheira behind him was shouting orders left, right and centre. It didn't appear to work, however, as Starblaydia's two-nil lead turned into a two-all draw thanks to Georg Lunz, someone who has tortured Starblaydi squads before.

Starblaydia, though they tried a few different things, couldn't manage to break through the Lovisan's new shape, though they did halt the siege around their own goalmouth. The match drew to an infuriating close, with Lovisa gaining their first point in this Cup and Starblaydia failing to make it two wins in a row. The group opens up much more invitingly for the neutral viewer, though, with the two remaining group games.

Waiting for whoever qualifies from Group B, however, are the third-in-the-world and runners-up-from-last-time Cafundéu and the super-impressive, ninth-in-the-world Dancougar, who smashed six past Qazox in an eight-goal thriller. Should Starblaydia qualify, there will definitely be a great story to be told in the Second Round. Will it be the team Starblaydia defeated in the Final, four years ago? Or will it be the team who dumped Starblaydia out at the Quarter-Final stage four years before? One can only wait and see how it all unfolds.

Final Score from Sokojiʼwa Gyūŋgijaŋ:
Starblaydia 2 - 2 Lovisa
(Vegachenko 11, Valrauncion 38) - (Meehan 54, Lunz 77)

Did You Know...?
Ázëwyn Fëanáro's goal against Jeru FC on Matchday One was Starblaydia's 200th goal in this, their 25th appearance at the World Cup Finals. In that time, they had conceded 155 goals. Their total now, after the Lovisa match, stands at: Played 115, Won 67, Drawn 21, Lost 27. Goals For 202, Goals Against 157.

Bears Armed

23-03-2009, 19:26

At the airport in Beningrad, in Sorthern Northland, a group of Ursines have got off of a plane that's just arrived from Columbia (UCS). When they reach the barrier their leader shows one of the offiicals there his passport, and a letter signed by the country's Foreign Minister.

"Urrthra o Dawn, and party, on a diplomatic mission," she announces. "We're here to help open contact properly with those other Ursines that some of your people met out in the islands to the north, and -- as you can see -" (She wiggles the letter in the air...) "- we're expected. Is there somebody from your government waiting here to meet us, and to show us where we're supposed to go next?"

Jeruselem

24-03-2009, 00:09

On Naked News Jeruselem ... a naked Kate Sallad with photo of her mother Mary Sallad

Hello! I'm Kate Sallad. As viewers of Naked News Jeruselem know, my mother was killed in Commerce Heights. I'd like to thank everyone who has sent messages of support to my family and also my other family - the Dallases. My mother was loyal employee here at Naked News Jeruselem. She died doing her job but was on her last assignment. We are all sad here but we won't be beaten by the Han terrorists. Although Mary is gone, the show will go on. We will continue to present the news, with nothing to hide.

We'd like to thank our fans who we know love Mary too, and make us the number one non-government news show. This incident will not stop us from roaming the world and bring news from across the world. The girls here are determined not to stop the good work started by the early reporters of Naked News Jeruselem which includes our owner Dazza Dallas. Of course, the boss has lost a sister and that's the big thing here.

After our regular broadcast, we'll be showing a tribute to the fallen Mary Sallad. She's not with us but we know she'll be with us everytime we go on air in spirit. My sister Jacinta and I are proud to be her daughters. Admitted she wasn't the smarted ever Dallas, but she loves everyone as they are.

Mum said if she died, she wanted everyone to be involved. She wanted to be on TV in her last moments and so the funeral will be televised. Why? Because she loves her nation. Sure there's people who hate her, but she wishes everyone well. The timing will be after the World Cup as she's not the type to distract us from the World Cup which she knows, the team want to win. so, after the show ... we present ... the Best of Mary Sallad.

Apologies to Ryan Greenly, he appears a lot at the end but he knows Mary liked him. Mum was simple person who worked hard and asked for love and respect in return. Enough from me, let's start the show. To my Mum, God bless Mary. OK, Mum wasn't the virgin Mary ... but well ... she was a good person.

Oh yes, Naked News Jeruselem are looking for a new reporter! If you want to join us, then please send in your application forms. Adults please, no kids ... so anyone over 18. Oh, if you don't like nudity then don't apply! We'll be hold auditions after the funeral of my mother. I'm sure she'll be there in spirit to aid keen new recruits as her replacement.

Cafundeu

24-03-2009, 01:06

This is one of the least popular and poorest sponsors of the CCFM!

Cafundeu

24-03-2009, 01:08

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 45 – full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião (from TV coverage)

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CALMNESS AND CLINICAL FINISH BRING TEAM THE WIN

http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/7636/cafboe3q.jpg (http://img13.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cafboe3q.jpg)
Focus on #5 Silveira

If the victory against Qazox was one expected by the supporters, it couldn’t be denied that a result different than a win against The Bostopian Empire would be tragic for the Monopolists. In this game, the Cafundelenses were surely waiting to see the team leaving the biggest stadium of the World Cup with more three points and a solid performance. The victory came, although the performances had ups and downs, floating in the most peculiar way. The team failed to show a good quality football in the beginning of the game, and suffered an unexpected goal. But this didn’t desperate the team, and this was a key factor for the team’s reaction. The goals came, and the Monopolists in the end were able to claim a victory in an undoubtedly way, even playing with two men less in the last minutes of the game. And, to make things better, the team also got the qualification to the next phase.

THE FIRST HALF: the huge stadium in Sokojito Dosi was the place for the game between Cafundéu and The Bostopian Empire. The supporters were far above the ground, but could watch this game that was more disputed than predicted. Cafundéu started focusing the plays in the centre, something more usual in the cups before World Cup 40, as the team started to play more balanced football lately and even focusing on the wings in World Cups 43 and 44. So, Nefasto probably expected to surprise the opponents with this change, but this didn’t work so well. The Bostopian Empire could control the ball possession in the first minutes, and scored the first goal of the game. Frankland held the ball in the midfield, and crossed directly to the area with a strong shot. The Cafundelense defence didn’t take the crossing as a serious threat, and Austell took advantage of that to appear behind the defence, head the ball, and score the goal.

The goal shocked the Cafundelense supporters in the stadiums. The excitement that was visible in the beginning of the game left space to worry. Although most knew that The Bostopian Empire’s advantage could be easily reverted, especially by a team with the quality of Cafundéu, it was impossible to not worry. And, of course, the Monopolists’ opponents retreated after the goal, expecting to hold the result. Time was passing, and Cafundéu was unable to create good goal chances. But the coach David Nefasto asked the team to keep calm, clearly showing that he believed that the team would be able to score sooner or later. Maybe this, or maybe he knew that this would happen only if the team played consciously. And that’s what happened. Silveira held the ball in the midfield, found a breach in the opponents’ defence, and shot... directly to the goal. Just before the end of the first half, Hubert received a pass from Serrano, dribbled Punter and had no troubles to shoot and score the second goal.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Silveira’s goal): “Ball being contrrrrrolled by Jules in the midfield, no prrrrrrressurrrrrre frrrrrom the opponents in this sector, it is only near the arrrrrrrea that they arrrrrre rrrrrreally defending... makes the shorrrrrrt pass to Silveirrrrrra just by his side. Now the midfielder walks with the ball to attack, rrrrrreceives prrrrrressurrrrrre frrrrrom one opponent, avoids him. Cuts inside, takes some distance frrrrrom the ball, goes to the shot... it seems that the ball knows which way to go... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Rrrrreplay now on the scrrrreen! Silveirrrrra, number five! Cafundéu one, The Bostopian Empirrrrrre one! You always forrrrrget to buy paper, ink and other equipments to your office? Don’t worrrrrry, for idiots like you we have the solution! We of EscriJato have the best office equipment and stationerrrrry deliverrrrry system, just call us!”

THE SECOND HALF: after 15 minutes resting, it was time to leave the capsule of the dressing rooms and return to the stadium. With the advantage, the Monopolists could play more relieved, but there was one clear objective in the minds of the players of David Nefasto: to not allow The Bostopian Empire surprise again. Cafundéu had to score at least one more goal to improve the lead and send away the worries of a possible negative result. And a young player was responsible for turning this objective into reality: Serrano. After making the assist of Hubert’s goal in the first half, the A.F.F. midfielder did one of the most magnificent individual plays of the World Cup so far, dribbling two opponents and then defeating the goalkeeper with a lob to score the goal. Now with a bigger difference, the supporters were relaxed...

...for three minutes. Because, when Austell once again took advantage of a defensive mistake to invade the area, he looked ready to score. In order to avoid this, Titov tripped him, and the Bazalonian referee saw the penalty, and put his hand into his pocket. Kardec look worried at Titov, as he knew that the Cafundelense captain had already received a yellow card. The number 2 only said “there is nothing I can do” to his team mate before looking at the referee and seeing the red card pointed to him. Austell took the penalty kick... and missed. Kardec saved, but Waite shot the rebound and scored the goal, decreasing Cafundéu’s advantage. Luckily for the Monopolists, Túlio could set up the play that ended in the fourth goal, receiving the ball as a pivot, and then passing to Rogério, who invaded the area and shot to score. After that, the only sad note for the Monopolists in the game was the fact that Serrano left, unable to continue in the game due to pain in his right leg.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Serrano’s goal): “Cafundéu takes contrrrrrrol of the ball again, this time with Fabinho in the midfield. Shorrrrrt pass to Rrrrrenildo, another pass this time to Serrrrrrrrano. He stops, Prrrrrrewal comes to trrrrry the tackle... and Serrrrrrrrano nutmegs him! Rrrrrruns to the arrrrrrea, now must beat Forrrrrrside... another drrrrribble, the goalkeeper leaves to stop him, just a gentle touch in the ball, it goes above the keeper into the goal... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! This one has to have a rrrrreplay! Serrrrrrrrano, number eleven! And now Cafundéu has thrrrrree, The Bostopian Empirrrrre just one! The latest books, successful or not, good or useless, you can find in The Rrrrrrector bookstorrrrres! Such big bookstorrrrres that you’ll prrrrrobably get lost in one of them! Having a guide in it demands a higher cost per second.”

JORGE LANG’S INTERVIEWS: with this victory, Cafundéu becomes the first (together with Dancougar) country to get the qualification to the next stage of the World Cup, which is a reason for the supporters to commemorate. And the coach David Nefasto commented about this conquest: “We didn’t play well during the entire game today, but did enough to get the win. I expect better performances soon but, as long as we get our objectives, it is all fine for me. And, in the end, our objective is the World Cup title.” The player of the match and somewhat injured Serrano commented: “I am really excited to be able to help my team in such a good way. This was surely the best moment of my career so far, and I’d like to dedicate it to my family... ah, and please tell my wife I love her very much.” Well, now she knows.

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Serrano involved in an attack

CAFUNDÉU 4x2 THE BOSTOPIAN EMPIRE

Place: Sokojito Überdome, Sokojito Dosi.
Attendance: 400,552 people.
Time: 14:00 Cafundelense time (16:00 local time).
Climate: clear, 22ºC.
Referee: Arthur Brown (Bazalonia).
Assistants: Roman Islas (Starblaydia) and Theo Walker (Sarzonia).
POTM: Serrano (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Rogério (William 75’), Renildo, Titov and João Carlos; Silveira, Jules (Fabinho 45’), Serrano (out injured 87') and Marossi (Túlio 45’); Alves and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

THE BOSTOPIAN EMPIRE: Smolenski; Lukovic, Richards, Punter and Forside; Prewal (Waters 68’), Waite, Slennock (Mitali 73’) and Frankland; Austell and Hairfeld (Richardson 45’).
Coach: Kulvir Singh.

Goal:CAF: Silveira 38’ , Hubert 45’+ , Serrano 63’ , Rogério 71’.
BOE: Austell 11’ , Waite 66’.

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Line-up for the next game: Salathiël; Rogério, Cotuba, Datena and William; Silveira, Jules, Paquetá and Túlio; Hubert and Nando.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Referee: Zet Plomaker (Zwangzug).

WC goalscorers (proper):

3- Hubert
1- Alves, Serrano, Silveira, Rogério

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Cafundéu x The Bostopian Empire – focus on player: #11 Serrano

A huge stadium. The right place to make an unforgettable moment in a career. During the game, the coach David Nefasto used his earplug device to make constant contact with the players of the team. And we got some parts of his conversation with Serrano.

David Nefasto’s first words to the team, just prior to the game, were: “Though we’re in the middle of four hundred thousand fans, stay calm. And may God’s love be with you.” Serrano stepped through the door, and entered in the field that would be the place of his excellent performance.

In the last seconds of the first half, a message came to Serrano’s ear: “Coach Nefasto to player Serrano...” Serrano was with the ball, and received the hint: pass to Hubert. The pass was made, and Hubert scored the goal.

But the best thing was reserved to the second half of the game. Serrano needed a goal to show everyone that he was clearly the star of the day. He ran a lot, received and made passes, just waiting for his moment to come... and the countdown started.

10... 9... 8... Renildo got the ball, a short pass to Túlio. 7... 6... 5... ball between the legs of the opponent. 4... 3... another opponent beaten, lying on the ground. 2... 1... just a single touch in the ball to go... to the GOAL! And the noise from the stands confirmed that Serrano scored.

Nefasto told Serrano: you really made the grade. At that moment, all the reporters were battling to take photos of the players, and to see which boots he was wearing at the time, as he was surely the best player of the game.

Things were perfect for Serrano, but, with few minutes remaining for the end of the game, he contacted Nefasto: “Serrano to coach Nefasto... my leg is in pain, there is something wrong.” And, seconds after, the game ended to him, leaving the field without anyone to replace him.

Daehanjeiguk

24-03-2009, 03:38

Septentrionia

24-03-2009, 04:20

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Nil-nil draw against the Monks send the Northmen's knockout phase bid into jeopardy

SANTA ROSA, Demot -- A draw might be good enough for teams like Yafor 2, but it's clearly not for Septentrionia

"The players couldn't score and I really wonder why" said a shocked Alain Bellemare, after the match against The Archregimancy. "If there's one game we played quite well, it was the one". Most people wouldn't be surprised at the result, but the Septentrionian side knows it can achieve way better than what their rank suggests. "We might only be ranked 22nd in the world, but this is only a number." team captain Nicolas Lafontaine told us. "We know we have the potential to be better than that."

Even if they are leading their group, the Northmen are actually leading it on goal difference, as they have the same amount of points as the monks with 4. Demot are right behind the two with 3 points. Considering a win against Demot is improbable, the Northmen will actually have to hope for a Monks loss in order to qualify. Something which, if we compare the 5-0 thrashing of the beavers (the Kelssek National Team, for later purposes) by the Northmen, isn't going to happen. So while most observers will see a loss for the Septentrionian side, if they can hold on to a draw, they will qualify. But that will only happen if the Demotian side meets Sortherns and Bostopians fighting outside of a bar. Especially with the former's ability to pay for drinks for foreigners and the latter to scare those away. But ultimately, the Sortherns always win, especially after they point the Bostopians... ok, I'm going too far.

Jeruselem

24-03-2009, 04:21

From: Queen Katherine Alexandra Dallas of Jeruselem
To: Foreign Affairs Minister of the Han Empire

I am inquiring about the matter of the killing of my aunt Mary Sallad. Both Jeruselem and the Han Empire are victims of the incident which turned a football game into a murder scene.

My family are pretty much in mourning over this as Mary Sallad was a popular member of our family who gave love and respect to all without qualification. Still, Jeruselemites are used to terrorism and will fight on and carry on with their business despite the loss. Our family has lost many members like Rashina Dallas and Natasha Dallas. We almost lost Hikfie Dallas a few times but she seems impossible to kill. Mary was a valued member of the family. She's always looking on the bright side of things and hoping to make a positive influence to the world.

I hope the Han government can keep us in the loop with developments about the assassin who we know is in your custody. It might be prudent to send a Han official to the funeral of Mary Sallad just to show both nations condemn terrorism. Mary was the youngest of three daughters of Natasha Dallas, and the first to die. My mother Dazza and my aunt Debbie are both reaching their later years in their lives and the loss of "young" Mary is devastating.

My son Henry was a avid fan of Mary Sallad. He's determined when he is King, he'd do everything to stop things like this. This maybe a big loss but Mary would want us to be be stronger people for the experience. Mary could have finally got married and had more kids at her age but it wasn't to be. Still, she's got two kids who are determined she wouldn't be forgotten.

PS - I am Katherine but I don't like being called Kathy so I like being called Kate instead although Kate is not Katherine. Even Katie is acceptable but not Kathy. Kate Sallad is actually Katherine Anne Sallad - and she dislikes Kathy as well.

XXX
Skate

Cassadaigua

24-03-2009, 13:24

From the Desk of Phillip I. Grant, President of Male Equality Now

To Agotha Karpathy, President Norwellian Football Association

Agotha,

Sorry, I don’t know if you are a man or a woman just by your name, but based on your letter, I’m sure you are female. It has recently come to my attention that you requested a friendly with Cassadaigua prior to the World Cup 46 qualifying cycle. I have no authority over that, but they will probably accept it. The reason I am writing to you is that you stated that Cassadagan Civil Rights impress you. You have got to be kidding me! For centuries, men have been exploited in our society just because we make up only about 35% of the population. Men do not receive equal pay for equal work. In the workplace it is shown that a man holding the same job as a woman, with qualifications and seniority the same will make roughly 70% of what his female counterpart would make. Just look at our soccer team, the entire roster is female. Are you telling me that we have no men in our country that aren’t capable of playing this sport as well? If you look at all the other rosters, chances are all of them have at least one male. This is yet another example of how we have been exploited! Cassadaigua has never had a man any of their World Cup rosters, or even in the World Baseball Classic.

During World Cup 45, Male Equality Now has staged several protests at our qualifying games to try and get the message out there that we will not take it anymore! We would like to think that we have been successful to a degree of showcase these horrible inequalities to the world, so it is pretty disappointing to hear someone that thinks our Civil Rights in this country is impressive. It is not. Not until men are treated as equals and not just used as reproductive tools or fodder for heavy manual labor!

Sincerely,
Phillip I. Grant

Norwellia

24-03-2009, 13:49

OOC: Wow, I totally misunderstood the situation in Cassadaigua. That's a really interesting idea. I can't tell whether it's a satirical reversal of the real-life situation intended to highlight the plight of women in our world, or some sort of statement on how you see feminism IRL. If you wouldn't mind, I'd love to talk about it in private and see if we can't come up with an interesting way to RP the misunderstanding. I love a good protest, and riots in Norwellia would really cause some cognitive dissonance that'd be fun to RP off of, for reasons I won't get into here.

Candelaria And Marquez

24-03-2009, 14:17

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>WC45>Latest
Sbaïz heroics can’t help break ninety minute duck
By Mack Hession

Just who – and what – are the Eesseff? It’s a question that many Candelariasians whose interest in global football began and finished with our own national team might well have been forgiven for asking until relatively recently. Starting with Vephrall in the first match proper of the Baptism of Fire, the Big Blues played against a total of fifty-four other nations before finally meeting this exotic land and its people in Arrigo. Fate, and Margaret, and the random plucking of balls, might easily have seen that the relationship between the Blues and Marauders would effectively end there and then, consigning the Eesseff to a place in our particular record books snugly in between Zarbli and the Algal States.

It was not to be. Last night, the two teams met for the seventh time – allowing Jaime Kuu’s side to leapfrog Az-cz, Kura-Pelland, Rennidan and Zwangzug to become C&M’s most familiar opponents. For the record, the Marauders now have a seventeen-three aggregate lead over C&M at this level but, after five meetings between the Small Blues and Mini Marauders (eight-six to our little’uns, if you’re keeping score) and any number of clashes between CMSC and EPL sides in the Champions’ Cup, and the legendary status earned by Roger Zetaback, Scott Soldarian and Espy va Drake during their stays in Zapata and Albrecht, and Abdul Ibadulla’s presence in Juavi… it’s fair to say that our two countries have become anything but strangers on the football pitch.

Yet relatively speaking, we know little of a nation which, despite its formal move to ever-familiar Atlantian Oceania, remains on the Foreign Office’s extreme-caution-required list when it comes to international travel. A brutal, feudal dictatorship reliant on vast ranks of servile clones to maintain its grip upon a cowed populace, the region known as Youngland still shudders in the wake left by its dominant power. The genocide in Assegai Developments and Turruth Gordur has left both nations in ruins, but the Eesseffian government’s bloodlust remains unsated – poor Vyinta enslaved to a man, while the situation in Templara remains dire. When was the last time you actually saw a Templar, after all? Heaven only knows what nightmares this latest addition to the Eesseffian Imperium have suffered over recent months.

One has to wonder, frankly, whether any remotely robust moral sense should ever let us deign to enjoy direct contact with these people at all, even through the warped prism of sport. But that, in a nutshell, is the joy of the World Cup – for in what other walk of life could the vast despotic regime of the ‘Blessed Realm’ and our own peaceful little democracy possibly meet as equals?

Okay… so ‘equals’ is pushing it a tad. Short of a complete defensive meltdown from the world’s number one team and a moment of magic from Ibadulla, the best C&M were ever going to hope for in Freestone would be a goalless draw. They were set up to achieve that very thing, the implausible scoreline from the last time these two sides met still weighing heavily on Elgin Dannat’s mind. That particular game, at the Vahala Invitational final in Capri, had been lit up by a superb debut performance from Joel Mercado, the Paripanan-based deep-lying midfielder, and so it was that the Lexaton native returned to partner Ben Zec in a desperate attempt to keep Soldarian and Laborious Hawk on a leash.

On the latter count, they needn’t have worried. Best player on the planet he might well be, but Hawk again struggled to make a real impact as his side started to resort to long balls.

Huh?

But that was the Eesseff all over – full of individual talent, and undeniably ‘up for it’, but lacking in just about everything else that has made them the most feared footballing country in the world. Their typical fluidity and downright brilliance was barely in evidence, and at times they looked almost… ordinary. C&M were no great shakes themselves, but they didn’t need to be. Nil-nil was well within their sights against a side looking more like the CMSC’s own Green Island with every passing minutes, threatening to break into a new gear of renewed awesomeness without ever looking likely to actually make that a reality.

If their first two matches this World Cup have been disappointing however, then that’s all the more reason for future opponents to fear them. For flaccid and forgettable as they are, they sit proudly at the top of Group H with six points, having disposed of C&M with a seventieth-minute goal. It could easily have been worse, that’s the sickening thing – the gap between the Candelariasians’ best and the Eesseffians’ worst still hopelessly large without Joel Sbaïz between the sticks. The Chelmar superstar was responsible for a string of second-half saves from Calla Soler and Ikles Razov, before a certain wide man sent waves of relief around a stadium dominated by his countrymen.

Because, however much our understanding of his homeland may consist of a few scattered media reports and glib generalisations, we all know Espy va Drake inside and out. Caleb Christmas and Gwynfardd Lopulalan certainly do – enough to know that, at full pelt, the GIZ captain is simply unstoppable. They could only stand and watch as the number twenty-four fired home a superb winner and brought the match to its natural conclusion. And the Big Blues still haven’t beaten the Marauders in ninety minutes.

Point is, though – it doesn’t matter. It never did. Everything about C&M’s campaign was based around Matchday Three, where Bazalonia become opponent seventy-nine. Relatively unfamiliar they may be, but Elgin Dannat’s career and the hopes of the nation depend on making this first encounter with the Bazalopes a winning one.

Or a drawing one, anyroad. Gawd bless yeh, Rennidan!

World Cup 45, Group H, Matchday 2

The Eesseff 1
va Drake 73

Candelaria And Marquez 0

***

The Utterly Unwarrented and Barely Relevant Subplot. Part... Three, Possibly?

’Sgot revelations and stuff in it, though. And talking and nudity.

***

“You!?!”

In a sewage pipe under the ghost (or at least considerably dispirited) town of Gordon Bay City; the Minister for Remedial Teaching and her friend Sukie Rohaert, a forensic pathologist, shined their torches into the face of Mark Baker, the former manager of the Candelaria And Marquez national football team and Old Man.

Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it. We’ll try to make it as painless as possible.

Long, but painless.

Also, bit of an anticlimax regarding the You!?!, I appreciate, but which right-minded individual would honestly miss any good opportunity for a You!?!, given a proper opening? I might never get the chance again.

Baker stared at Sukie, frowning. “I know you… I’m sure I do…”

“Er, yeah. We’ve met, once or twice. Often in sewers. This one in particular, as a rule. Um. Are you lost, Mr Baker? Maybe we can take you home,” she continued, with a meaningful glance towards the minister, “Back to your retirement… hole? I’m sure people would be able to look after you there, I –”

“Dun’t need lookin’ after!”

“No, no, gosh no, ‘course not… But, y’know… A nice warm spot by the fire, or a window to look out of mournfully, it’s got to be better than down here, surely? And people are looking for you! You’re Mark Baker, you’re a national treasure! And you’re not even gay or a transvestite, so that’s quite an achievement in itself! You shouldn’t be rooting around furiously at the bottom of a sewer… Would it help if I stopped speaking in my talking-to-small-children-and-the-mentally-damaged voice, by the way? What are you doing?”

The old man had dropped to his hands and knees, and was scrabbling in the collective human slurry of south-west Candelaria. Sukie and Jenny, though neither given to regular pangs of empathy for their fellow man and beginning to feel distinctly woozy themselves, felt themselves pulled forward to help the poor old salt back to his feet. He didn’t seem especially keen on the notion.

“Gerroff! Have to find… Got t’… Got t’…”

“Can’t you see I’m burning, burning? Or ankle-deep in shit in this case… C’mon, Mark, let’s get yo–”

“Sukie, wait… Mr Baker, what are you looking for?”

“Not… Not sure. As such. Water?”

Sukie patted her pockets theatrically, but the minister held up a hand. “Is that what you’re looking for? Water?”

“Eh. Think so.”

With a sudden jolt, the wiry figure slammed his frame against the closest pipe wall, Sukie rushing forward to hold him back before…

Before the world went black, and very wet.

Sukie blinked in the sudden cold, but the gloom remained stubbornly all-encompassing. “Don’t suppose I’m dead?” she ventured.

“Only if we both are. Mark?”

“Nnh.”

“I’ll take that as confirmation to the positive. Still got your torch, Jen?”

An orange beam duly sprayed itself around the cavern. ‘Cavern’, rather than ‘Pipe’, Sukie noted to herself. “Did you know this was going to happen?” she whispered.

“No… Sort of. There were fleeting references to… here, in documents I got a gander at at the Ministry… God knows how Baker knows about it, mind you. Springy, isn’t it?”

“Like walking on polystyrene…” She took a little bouncing run forward. “It’s black, isn’t it? It’s not just dark, the walls and everything are… ugh!”

Sukie pulled her hand away from the wall as a chunk of it collapsed in her palm, and took a step back as the minister flashed the torch in her direction.

“Wriggling polyfilla? Are those maggots? ”

“Or something of that ilk… God, the walls are made of them… Can you smell smoke?”

“Aye. And other things… Arguably better than the pipes, though.”

Sukie nodded and trotted on further, her eyes becoming more accustomed now to the dark. Torchlight picked out the misshapen curvature of the walls, in patternless strata of black and deep purples and reds.

“It’s like blackcurrant jelly,” Sukie declared after a while, “Including the wobbling an’ everything. Except really unpleasant. Soo… Who’d leeeve in a house like theees? Jenny, where the hell are we?”

The minister swallowed. “We’re… Here. I think. Where they live.”

“I’d go more for ‘dwell’, personally. And again, sorry, when you say ‘they’, you mean…?”

“Them, Sukie. The Merry Dancers, the Brown Children, the Sweet Sorrows, the Little Sisters, the…”

“Mother’s Pride?”

“Probably.”

“So… we’re not talking about fairies, are we?”

“No.”

“Good, because that would be ridiculously derivati–”

“We’re talking faeries. Actually, we’re not, because that’s just a generic term.”

“Ah. And these particular ones would be properly called…?”

“They’re… they’re just Them. They’re… everything, I think, th–”

“Everything and nothing, Mrs Harris. Believe me.”

The two women spun around to face a hitherto unnoticed corridor, torchlight instantly streaming around another figure. Sukie frowned.

“Ah, excellent. Turns out we’re just here for a five-foot-three brunette convention. Perhaps we should’ve brought name badges to make things easier; I’m Su–”

“You’re an irrelevance,” the woman told her politely before turning to the minister and breaking into a nervous babble. “Jenny, believe me I sympathise with your reasons for being here, but it’s not safe! You could be jeopardising Joshua’s own safety, as much as anything, and if you’re found I can’t predict what they’ll do! Not anymore… Everything’s changing, there’s new powers… The younger generation, they’re impatient. They won’t simply accept the status quo anymore, and their leader’s a nightmare, sh–”

“I know you, toeless woman…”

The slurred words had emanated from Mark Baker, the old man swaying gently several feet away as chunks of wall slithered around his ankles. The woman frowned.

“I should hope so, I only spoke to you about forty-eight ours ago… But loo–”

“But I know you too,” Jenny interrupted slowly. “You’re Sally Morgan, aren’t you? You were Minister for Rational Thought before Billy Athanasiadis, and Hernández and Melbourne and… me. No-one at the Ministry talks about you much, but… They said after you left you…”

“Were away with the fairies? Generic, but accurate. I’d… grown close to the elders, learnt their secrets… I didn’t have a place among Candelariasians anymore, not in my heart, so… Here I came.”

“And you danced with the non-specific fair folk so hard that your toes wore away?” Sukie offered nervously, having let her eyes drop towards Morgan’s bare feet.

Sally frowned. “Eh? Nah, you read too many stories, luv… they chopped ‘em off a while back. I dared to question certain policy decision, you know how it is. Capricious, yer basic fairy. Especially the young’uns. Which rather stresses my point; Jenny, please! I will find Joshua, and the others, I promise you! And get them home… There are some here who still listen to me, I have influence… This situation won’t last forever, but you have to be patient!”

“No. No! How can I, how can I just wait at home and hope he’ll turn up months or years from now, with all his appendages intact?! If I leave here, Sally, then know it that I’ll return with the full might of the Candelarias Armed Defence Force behind me!”

“Oh, don’t be a fool, you think your men in hats will stand a hope against Them?!”

The minister was shaking in sheer anger now, jabbing a finger towards her predecessor. “This country… my country, Morgan, my people, have been in thrall to your bloody mad fairies for far too long! Everything we are, it’s because of Them! And it has to end, Sally, this is one step too far!”

“What, because they dared to put your child in harm’s way, you’re going to put every other Candelariasian before a firing squad?! Because that’s what it’ll amount to, Jenny!”

“I’m not going to have them define who and what we are any longer! We’ve been their pawns, their playthings, for centuries! This inane charade, this thick coating of ignorance we’ve forced upon generations of Candelariasians, all because They think we can’t cope with the truth?! Well we’ll show them what truth means, Morgan, right here in their grubby little pit! We’ll show them what two centuries of mental serfdom has done to the Candelariasian spirit! We–”

“Shut up, you stupid girl! You’re toying wi–”

“Okay, I’m sorry… Can someone please give me a handy little update on what I’ve been listening to for the past five minutes?” Sukie requested cheerfully.

Morgan scowled at her. “The Candelarias, my girl, have always belonged to Them, whatever yo… we Candelariasians may like to think. And William Robinson, Oxford Birch, David Clarke, and every Prime Minister or President in between or since, they made a pact. That the bulk of the Candelariasian populace would remain unaware of the existence of Them, or the Svartálfar, or your elves or sentient bears o–”

“See-through sheep?”

“Indeed… Or any of the other species that inhabit this land, or this planet, or the planets, or the multiverse… That we’d remain intellectually stunted – children, if you will. And that if any government of the Candelarias should break this covenant… Well, they would know that They could destroy themselves, and our country, with the barest whisper.

“And they still can, Jenny. The young ones, they have power, and knowledge too, but little wisdom and less patience. Our country and her people will have no future at all, Mrs Harris, unless we tread truly carefully. If you…”

Morgan paused, as Mark Baker began to trot forward, wandering past her down the writhing corridor. She held out a hand and stopped him easily, his tortured eyes turning to meet hers. She swallowed.

“You’re not well, are you? Oh, I’m so sorry, Mark, we’ve fiddled around with your mind so much, but you must understand that we thought it was for the best! You’d usher in a bright new dawn, but there had to be sacrifices, an–”

“Dun’t know you!” Mark shouted, shrugging the woman off and breaking into a run. Morgan froze in momentary horror before storming off after him.

Sukie glanced at the minister and shrugged. “Should we…?”

“Why not?”

Dark corridor turned to darker corridor as they ran, turning to plaza and… street? And suddenly Baker was pushing through a white door set incongruously into the gently wriggling wall, and Morgan was screaming at him to stop, and Jenny and Sukie ploughed in after them and…

The world went white, and dry.

Sukie winced amid the pale pastel colours that suddenly seemed almost blinding. There were more doors here, and alcoves and benches and instruments. And blood, and bodies.

But her eyes soon trailed towards the centrepiece, a large green orb spinning gently on its plinth. And above it, suspended from the ceiling, hung a naked woman, turning slowly in time with it.

Sukie flinched as the woman’s face turned to meet hers. She was awake, and blinking, but her face was a crumpled mess, her mouth almost sideways amidst a patchwork of old scars. A single lock of pure white hair hung over an ear, and as she turned away once again Sukie realised that the woman had but one arm and one leg to her name.

Mark was staring at her also, and walked forward despite Sally’s silent, impotent protestations.

“I know you,” he whispered. He reached up and traced her chin with his own withered fingers.

“I know,” the woman croaked. Her clockwise movement, and that of the orb, ceased in an instant. And she reached out herself with her one emaciated arm and stroked his nest of grey hair. “I know. Welcome home, my brother.”

Elves Security Forces

24-03-2009, 19:29

Tûrtarwen Mabrinian combed her sleek black hair behind her ears and smiled slightly, showing off her pearly whites to the man who sat beside her. For the life of her, she had no idea why she was cautiously flirting with the the stranger who just happened to have the seat ticket next to her, but she was brimming with confidence and toying with the man's emotions with every little action she took. This was the first time she had left Valanora's shores, and Demot seemed all the wonderful place that the historians had made it out to be in the the books and brouchers. She felt soo very full of life her in the Druid's garden, with this magnificent new stadium being a jewel to behold. That huge positive force was flowing through her, nudging at her confidence, and letting her inhibitions slide away as she gave a sly wink at the Demotian. The boy, completely off his mind with the incredible luck of not only getting to sit next to an extravagantly beautiful woman for an entire match, but also have her flirting with him, finally lost his nerve and left out a "Wahey!" that left Tûrtarwen chuckling..

Despite her flirting, her main reason for being in Freestone, sitting inside the new Thunderbluff stadium that day was the Marauders. She had been appointed by a committee to observe, record, and eventually report the progress Kuu was having over the national team. Her report would likely have a major impact on whether or not the Starblaydi would be looking for a new job in the fall, or if he was to be given a full tournament cycle to prove his worth on the national stage. It was not a task she took lightly, but the environment in Demot was proving too much a pleasantry to ignore. Despite that, her eyes did dart to the pitch now and then to watch not only how the players were performing, but how Kuu was handling the pressure of the big stage.

"Well I'll be, the lad is showing a tad of restraint for once. I wonder if Hawk or some of the other veterans might have had a word with him after qualifying, or if he has finally figured out you can be in control without being demonstrative on the pitch. Still, this is such an ugly game, the Navy Wave will not stay quiet for long if this keeps up." she remarked as the game proceeded to still scoreless in the fiftieth minute.

She was nestled inside a small section of the stadium that the Navy Wave had been able to purchase the majority of the tickets to. There were already grumblings about the style being entirely against the skill set that the team had and that it was a black mark on the typical beautiful football that the Marauders were known for. Things seemed poised to hit the breaking point as the hour mark passed and still there were no goals to be had. Right as a chant of "No goals? We're not Yafor 2! You don't know what you're doing!" was about to ring out, a magnificent bit of wing play from va Drake sent the stadium into an uproar as he fired home a bomb that spoiled the heroics that Sbaïz had been putting up at that point. "He's va Drake, he twists and shakes. He's va Drake, and he's GREAT!" was the resulting cheer and Tûrtarwen sighed with a bit of laughter.

"That's all it takes for the crowd to go from murderous to anointing isn't it? How fickle the tide of the spirit is when presented with a circumstance that can deviate in different directions but ultimately does so in favor. Kuu, you might be safe for now, but you'd do well to get that free flowing style back in gear if you wish to stay in the good graces of the crowd, or bring home another title. The crowd always loves a winner..." she remarked to no one in particular, before giving the Demotian man another wink waving her scarf in the air. Somehow, as if he had heard the words, Kuu looked up to section 133, row 7, and smirked.

Sorthern Northland

24-03-2009, 21:46

The office of Sorthern Foreign Secretary, Rórdán Mac Ádhaim. An advisor knocks on the door and enters the room.

“Mr Mac Ádhaim, sir, we've just had a phonecall from the Foreign Office or whatever they call it in Bears Armed saying that a party of theirs has just landed in Beningrad.”

“So? They're here legally aren't they? Why do I need to know they're here?”

“Well it appears they're here on an official diplomatic mission, and they seem to think they're expected and are wondering if anyone from the Sorthern government will be meeting them.”

“Oh, I see, and I suppose that person would be me as I'm the Foreign Secretary would it?”

“Uh, yup, pretty much.”

“I see, so what is it they want?”

“They say they're here to help open proper contact with those other ursines our people met on the islands to the north. Bit harsh calling the Septentrioniens bears I think.”

“Yes, I think they probably meant The Bear Islands rather than Septentrionia. Right, well I better get down there then. Which airport did you say they're at?”

“They just said that they're at the airport in Beningrad.”

“But there's two airports in Beningrad. I guess they're more likely to be at the international one though. Ask the airport staff to place them in the Presidents Lounge and I shall meet them in about half an hour and see them on their way if they are moving onwards.”

Bears Armed

24-03-2009, 22:07

This country's Minister for International Sport, Harron o Harruorr, has written and sent a letter that should be reaching its destination about now _

To: Whoever is in charge, the Football Association, The Kingdom of Dancougar _

Hrarroom!
(= "Greetings!")

I am writing to you, with the approval of the Committee for The Strangers, at the behest of the elders of our nation's 'Clan Kerrucks' whose members are Ravens. They have noted the fact that your nation's Soccer team is known as the "Black Wings", and would like to know whether this fact indicates any particular dedication to the 'High Spirit' Raven or whether it is for some other reason instead. I hope that you will feel free to answer this question for us.

Yours politely,

Harron o Harruorr,
Minister for International Sport,
The Confederated Clans of the Free Bears of Bears Armed.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________

Meanwhile, in the Presidents Lounge at the international airport in Beningrad, Urrthro o Dawn and her junior associates are making themsleves comfortable while they wait for their "host" to arrive. This group of Ursines numbers seven in all.
Urrthro herself is a female, of medium height (by Ursine standards), with reddish-brown fur. She is wearing a fine robe of green velvet that is embroidered with the insignia of all the (roughly 100...) various Clans and other 'Bodys' currently holding membership in the Confederation, and a collar of interwoven silver chains -- from which a silver disc, bearing a simplified depiction of what some people might recognise as a mother-&-child pair of kangaroos, is suspended -- around her neck, and conveys an air of dignity.
Two of her companions (one male, one female) are of the same general type and have the same colour fur, although they are (although adult) recognisably somewhat younger than she is. They wear plainer robes than she does, decorated with far fewer symbols. They seem a bit excited...
A brown-furred she-Ursine, wearing a long tunic of leather onto which assorted bones and tufts of fur or feathers have been sewn, is talking to a shorter male -- with black fur -- who is wearing a tunic and leggings of black leather and is carrying a leather hat that is modelled in the form of a raven's head. Each of these individuals has a small drum suspended at their left hip.
A male of larger size, with medium-brown fur, is clad in leather trousers (also brown) and a sleeveless jerkin that has a pattern of horizontal black & orange stripes. A sash of green cloth that passes over his left shoulder and across to his right hip (where its is fastened to his belt) has a number of metal insignia attached to it at one point or another. He is looking around warily.
And a small-ish male, with fur of somewhere between light brown and light gray in hue, is wearing a "human style" suit in a darker gray.

Krytenia

24-03-2009, 22:09

And so, it comes to this.

D-Day. The Aces, and the Golden Wolves, in tete-a-tete madness for the right to play in the knockouts.

To the winner, the spoils.

To the loser, hope upon hope that the other game goes their way.

Unless you're a Yaforite. Lose and you're screwed.

KRYTENIA
v
YAFOR 2

Bears Armed

24-03-2009, 22:46

And another letter from Bears Armed, this one written by the Chairbear of the Committee for The Strangers (i.e. 'Foreign Minister'), should also be arriving at its destination about now _

To: the Royal Family and Government, The Kingdom of Jerusalem _

Hrarroom!
(= "Greetings!")

I am writing to you, with the approval of the High Council of Clans, to offer you our sympathy over the tragic death of Mary Sallad at the paw of what must surely have been a madman. We all know what it is to lose kinsfolk, after all, and although our own nation ceased to be a Kingdom somewhat over two centuries ago we still understand that the sudden demise of somebody so close to the Royal line can be upsetting to a country's loyal populace as well. Let us pray that the miscreant is properly dealt with.

Best wishes, and many fishes,
from

Beorra o Berrum,
Chairbear, Committee for The Strangers,
The Confederated Clans of the Free Bears of Bears Armed.

Milchama

24-03-2009, 23:17

The Radio Plays...

"Every time you close your eyes/Lies! Lies!..."

And now talking

"Wow that sums up Milchama this cup doesn't it?"

"Yeh, no roster yet we still have players and now we are *this* close to advancing to the next round"

"Yep octas with no roster, who is scoring the goals and all the rest, this is a statisticians nightmare"

"Luckily football doesn't believe in stats"

"Good point, anyway all the statisticians are focused on baseball anyway"

"Yep, and it's a good thing WARQYS is a great stat for comparing handicapped players could have done if they were in fact fully formed or functional."

"Yeh Paul Black could have hit .390 with two arms"

"Ridiculous"

"Absolutely ridiculous"

"Football just doesn't have stats like that"

"Nope"

"Maybe that's what it needs"

"Nah too much of a team sport for a stat like WARQYS"

"I guess but something like VORP or OPS or OPS+ or whatever could help"

"Nah, we need to focus on learning a good stat for valuing defensive midfielders, non-scoring wingers, wing backs and sturdy centerbacks then we can get back to comparison stats"

"I guess"

"Who do you we play next considering that they decide whether we advance?"

"What would the football equivalent to OPB be?"

"I have no idea, can you answer the question"

"WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"I asked first!"

"SO!"

"Stop screaming!"

"YOU STOP SCREAMING!"

"COME ON YOU WARRIORS!"

"COME ON YOU WARRIORS!"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I have no idea but it made sense, trust me"

"Ok"

"Glory Glory Hallelujah!"

"Still not answering the question"

"Neither are you"

"Fine let's stop this futile disagreement"

"Ok"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Yeh that too"

Jeruselem

25-03-2009, 00:12

TO: Beorra o Berrum, Chairbear, Committee for The Strangers,, The Confederated Clans of the Free Bears of Bears Armed.
FROM: Secretary to the Jeruselem Royal Family

Hrarroom! (I hope we got that one right)

We thank you for your letter. We maybe rivals for the next game at the World Cup but everyone understands the loss of a loved one in a family. The language of death is universal if you are a bear, human or ten armed gun wielding monster. Everyone has someone that are emotionally attached to, and a loss to the family is always something one cannot forget.

We thank your nation and it's people for the sympathies expressed towards Mary Sallad. We aren't machines, but living creatures who can express emotions whether we are bears or humans. While we can't stop death, we can make the loss feel better with mutual support of others. We thank you again for your support.

New Manhattan

25-03-2009, 00:31

Matchday 3 results — Demot region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14630674&postcount=23)

Demot

25-03-2009, 00:32

Matchday 3 results SLANI region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=14630679&posted=1#post14630679)

Kura-Pelland

25-03-2009, 15:47

Destiny dictated this one was to be lost.

Defeat would ensure elimination for neighbours Vephrall, and set up a second-round match at the Horrus Ground, recently redeveloped by Kura-Pellandi architects ShinyPlaces. And it wasn't as if they could tell who they were playing, as Group G was not yet settled, and still is not settled - Bostopia and Yafor 2 inseparable atop the group on every single tiebreaker in existence, and to be split by the flip of a coin (or possibly some ultra-tech CapitaliZt alternative designed for greater pay-per-view and merchandising possibilities).

So no surprise to see a second-string side comfortably beaten 2-0 by Milchama. The big guns - and who would have thought those would be young guns such as Nicolás Gaga? - were rested, and the manner of this defeat proves that they will be needed again for the next round. Yafor 2 were of course the victims in Kura-Pelland's most famous victory in the WC41 quarter-finals, while Bostopia are firmly entrenched in the world's elite - most will hope for the Yaforites to be the opponents.

Starting lineup for second round match (4-1-3-2); Hodgson; Phelps, Veitburg, Maher, Swailes; Curtis; Rothen, Nicolás Gaga, Lojeski; Fiero, Lacamoire.

Cafundeu

25-03-2009, 19:08

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 45 – full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião (from TV coverage)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CAFUNDELENSES GUARD THEIR PERFECT RECORD

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/7987/cafdan2.jpg (http://img297.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cafdan2.jpg)
Jules in his last participation in the game

With the qualification already assured, the strategy taken by both teams involved in the game between Cafundéu and Dancougar was to rest most of the starters. So, in the end, the balance of the game continued the same, as Cafundéu’s subs are in theory better players than Dancougar’s subs. So the supporters in the stadium could watch an interesting game, even if some famous players from both teams weren’t in the game. In a very disputed game, the Monopolists were able to get the win and the first place of the group, and also an opportunity to defeat Starblaydia in the Second Round of the World Cup. Although this is seen by many as a disadvantage, most Cafundelenses enjoyed this news, as they are really looking forward for a victory over Starblaydia, which seems likely giving the lately form of the Cafundelense team, although the same will have to have colossal strength to grasp a win.

THE FIRST HALF: even without their main stars, both teams continued using offensive tactics, and seemed ready for a good football game, the sport that was popular even when all the world was very young. But, we don’t know why, Cafundéu seemed much more determined and efficient in the first minutes. Maybe that’s because Dancougar’s players thought that the Cafundelense reserves wouldn’t be really looking for scoring in the beginning of the game. Bad mistake. Before the tenth minute, the Monopolists stroke. Paquetá was the responsible for the play, taking the ball in the midfield and running to the right wing. When he reached the entrance of the area, shot in an opponent and won the corner kick. Túlio crossed, and the player with least chances of scoring scored the goal: the defender William, in a clumsy way, tripping over the ball... falling but sending the ball to the net.

The goal gave confidence to the Monopolists in the game, and they nearly scored the second. Paquetá dribbled Sakuraba and made an excellent pass to Túlio, who shot. Berber made the clearance over the line. The Cafundelense pressure didn’t last much, and soon the confidence that came with William’s goal has turned into overconfidence. Everything seemed to be fine for the yellow-white team in the game, but looks can be deceiving... Dancougar was just preparing to react. First, Nagasawa took the ball from Datena near the area and shot with strength to score. Second, Florentino managed to send the ball in a cross exactly to Berber’s head, who scored too. The Black Wings were leading the game, and the responsibility went to Cafundéu. And football experience was valuable in this situation. Hubert used all his to, after receiving a pass from Jules, dribble a defender and score the goal, before the end of the first half.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (William’s goal): “Paquetá with the ball, makes a rrrrrrrun to the wing, it is unguarrrrrded by the opponents. Now he is followed by a defender... and manages to win a corrrrrrner. Leaves the ball for Túlio to take the set piece... ball to the arrrrrrea... who will hit it, it’s William, he stepped over the ball, crrrrrrawls to shoot it... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Show me a rrrrrreplay of the goal! William, number twenty! A guarrrrrrdian of our flawless defence scorrrrrres! Cafundéu now with one goal, Dancougar with zerrrrro! Want to know how to prrrrrreparrrrrre marrrrrvelous dishes like the “Rrrrrroasted swan with beer sauce” frrrrrrom Sorrrrrtherrrrn Norrrrthland, or the “Elven salad” frrrrrom Valanorrrrrra, or even the “Ghost skin with vanilla essence dessert” frrrrrom Bostopia? Then buy the book “Worrrrldwide food”, just phone the number below!”

THE SECOND HALF: the draw in the first half certainly left both coaches worried about the second half. After all, it was their decision to not bring a full-strength team to the game and, if the game ended in a loss, it could result in nightmare dreams no mortal mind could hold, due to regret. That’s why both teams did one substitution after halftime. Renildo entered in Cafundéu and Dylandy and Dancougar. For some mysterious reason, Takeuchi only brought seven players to the bench in this World Cup game, so he had plenty less options than Nefasto, who had all the other twelve players (ten, due to the exceptions) of the team available to enter, with the exceptions of Serrano (injured) and Cícero (suspended). Maybe this helped Nefasto to adjust the team’s tactics, as the team scored another goal in the first minutes of a half. This time, it was Hubert the scorer, in an intelligent individual play.

Of course, the Monopolists didn’t want to see the Black Wings improving after suffering the goal, as happened in the first half. But this worry had a collateral effect: the Cafundelenses started to make many fouls to avoid attacks from the opponents, and these fouls resulted in a penalty kick. Stadler received a pass near the area, but was unable to complete the play, due to being hit by Datena. Plomaker saw the foul and pointed to the penalty stop. Furious, Datena threatened to take the card from Plomaker’s hand, shouting a lot, and even removing some grass from the field in anger. Dylandy took the penalty kick and scored the goal. With the result returning to be a draw, Nefasto put Alves in the game, hoping for a goal. And that happened. Renildo made a through pass to Alves, who appeared behind the defence to shoot the ball to the goal, giving the victory to Cafundéu.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Alves’s goal): “Paquetá with the ball, attempts a pass to Huberrrrrrt... blocked. Silveirrrrrra takes the rrrrebound, with a shorrrrt pass... blocked. What a trrrrragic endless play, it seems we’ll continue this way until the game ends... now Rrrrrrenildo with the ball, to the pass... and it rrrrrreaches Alves, inside the arrrrrrea, goes for the shot... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! This will be a nice rrrrrreplay! Alves, number seven! Cafundéu four, Dancougar thrrrrrree! What is the secrrrrrret to have your white clothes ever white instead of seeing them get some colour... when in fact you wanted them to remain white? Simple, the answer is Pomba powder soup, the one that makes all your clothes white... even the ones that werrrrrren’t white beforrrrre you washed them!.”

JORGE LANG’S INTERVIEWS: this result, although not an easy one to get, showed that we have many players capable to play for the Cafundelense National Team in a good level, and these are good news. The coach David Nefasto, clearly relieved with the victory, commented: “We continue with the perfect record, as one of the best teams of the competition, and leading the group. The only thing the supporter can ask more for us is the victory in the game against Starblaydia. And we’ll work for this.” Paquetá, who played very well in the game today, told the media: “Some people won’t agree with teacher Nefasto in his decision to field the eleven players he fielded today but, in the end, we did a fine job and got the win. And I am sure that we haven’t disappointed our supporters.” Paquetá expected to be named player of the match, but defender Casey Berber was instead.

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/3374/cafdan1.jpg (http://img297.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cafdan1.jpg)
Cafundelenses surround Plomaker after penalty

CAFUNDÉU 4x3 DANCOUGAR

Place: Capitalizm, ʼYupo.
Attendance: 161,805 people (the parents of Breno Gavião entered without being invited).
Time: 16:30 Cafundelense time (18:30 local time).
Climate: clear, 20ºC.
Referee: Zet Plomaker (Zwangzug).
Assistants: Des Wilson (Wentland) and Ozil Muzhat (Koseli Cumhuryietler).
POTM: Casey Berber (Dancougar).

CAFUNDÉU: Salathiël; Rogério, Cotuba (Renildo 45’), Datena and William; Silveira, Jules (Juninho 60’), Paquetá and Túlio; Nando (Alves 76’) and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

DANCOUGAR: Komarov; Berber, Heath, Sakuraba and Wolford; Chojnacki, Florentino (Dylandy 45’), Hayashi (Kaizuka 79’) and McNespy (Garbett 60’); Nagasawa and Stadler.
Coach: Shigeru Takeuchi.

Goal:CAF: William 8’ , Hubert 40’/51’ , Alves 83’.
DAN: Nagasawa 16’ , Berber 25’ , Dylandy 58’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Line-up for the next game: Kardec; Rogério, Renildo, Titov and João Carlos; Silveira, Jules, Serrano and Marossi; Alves and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Referee: Marcel Giordane (Septentrionia).

WC goalscorers (proper):

5- Hubert
2- Alves
1- Serrano, Silveira, Rogério, William

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu x Dancougar – focus on player: #21 Paquetá

That was the chance that half of the players in the Cafundelense National Team were expecting. The half that usually doesn’t enter in the starting eleven of the team, but now would be able to do this, thanks to a decision by coach Nefasto.

In this day, they would be the heroes of the Cafundelenses, the ones responsible for leading the black-red (well, yellow-white in the day) team to the victory. And, as ever, when the game is about the start these supermen would walk in file.

When the referee whistled, ʼYupo became the place for them to pursue the main objective: the three points. Where all were minds in uni-thought... there was no other situation in their entire lives that make them have so much in common like this one now.

Paquetá was one of them. Running in the field, asking for the ball. Receiving it, then passing away. Dribbling a player, but in another moment being tackled. His mission wasn’t an easy one, but he was really determined to do a good job.

Strange games they would play then, plays created just now by the coach Nefasto. And then Paquetá gave his participation in a goal, something that he was really wanting. When the defender tried to block him, he noticed that it’d be much better to win a corner kick change then to cross in those conditions. The corner kick ended in a goal.

But that didn’t seem to be enough, as the opponents, the Black Wings, threatened Cafundéu’s victory many times, and it seemed that the Monopolists wouldn’t be able to get those three points.

Paquetá worked hard, but sadly wasn’t able to set up another goal. But, when Alves sent the ball to the net, he commemorated a lot. It was a strange, mad celebration, one that he was holding inside him for a long time.

Dancougar

26-03-2009, 01:41

Dancougar News!!
Stupid sexy Ribbons and his stupid sexy Guncannon.

Dancougar downed in seven-goal thriller: If the Wings are going to lose any more games in this World Cup, here's hoping they go down the way they did against Cafundeu. Both teams played reserves and yet put on a show that would make many first teams weep, and the Wings ultimately succumbed to the Monopolists 4-3 on a late goal by Alves.

Any thoughts that the teams might play more cautious, reserved football with most of their starters resting up for the second round were dismissed in the opening minutes, as both teams played spirited, attacking football. Fluid passing, strong off-the-ball running, and physical play came to define the match. As could be expected, the Cafundeu bench was deeper and they got the lion's share of the early chances. Coach Shigeru Takeuchi had figured that would happen and started four defenders over the usual three, with longtime Newmanistan Premier Leaguer Casey Berber covering the middle. It would prove to be nowhere near enough to keep the Monopolist offense contained.

In fact, it was embarrassment all around for Dancougar in the 8th minute, when Cafundeu took the lead on something of a fluke goal. There was no doubt that Tulio was trying to find defender William lurking near the back of the net, unmarked by a unsuspecting defense. And surely William was doing his best to get a foot to the ball for a one-time blast. Artur Komarov was across the goal quickly to close down the angle, but he too was expecting a strong shot high. To his surprise - indeed, to everyone's - William's touch send him sprawling to the turf. But he got just enough on it to send it past the befuddled 'keeper, and Cafundeu were in front.

"They were moving a lot inside the box and just have so many scoring threats," said Berber. "We got preoccupied and let [William] sneak in there. And it's unlucky, but we're to blame for not getting that ball out. It hang up there long enough."

The Wings survived the continued Monopolist attack and were able to equalize in under ten minutes, also off a defensive miscue. A sloppy back pass was read by Hiromasa Nagasawa, who dispossessed Datena with just under 30 yards to goal. Salathiel had little time to react and Nagasawa covered the gap quickly, rifling a low shot to the near post. Both coaches were frantically screaming instructions to the defense, but it didn't seem to do any good. Silveira had a good look but pulled his shot wide of goal, and in the 25th, Berber headed home a cross from Dan Florentino to make it 2-1. Florentino was afforded too much space by Cotuba, and he placed it right on his defender's head.

"Casey has pretty good attacking instincts for a defender, and that's one of the things that makes him so tough at the back," said Takeuchi. "He knows where those soft spots are and isn't shy about taking chances." The goal was Berber's fifth career goal for the national team, tops among defenders.

Once again, the goal seemed to wake up the opposition more, and Cafundeu clawed back into the match. Shifty runs and the passes accompanying them caught the defense flailing, and Kouichi Sakuraba was booked in the 35th for tugging at Tulio's shirt. He'd been getting whistled all afternoon and finally the referee had had enough. Forced to turn his physicality down a notch, Sakuraba became a target. Five minutes later, Hubert, not known for finesse, caught Sakuraba flat-footed and dribbled past him. The defender was unable to recover and Hubert beat Komarov to make it 2-2. The halftime whistle was a welcome relief for both defenses, and the fans were given a chance to catch their breath.

They didn't have long to find it, because just six minutes after the restart, Hubert found the net again. He was enjoying the opportunity to strut his stuff and this time challenged Dwight Heath. Heath matched the attacker for the first few yards of his run, but Hubert made a simple cut to put the ball on his left foot. With a solid stroke, he drove the ball past the outstretched arms of Komarov to make it 3-2. But like all the other leads in the game, it would not last long.

Karen Stadler, who had a quiet game up front, finally broke through and was on course for a shot. Datena came flying in with a rough challenge and sent the ball over the goal line, but not before sending Stadler hard into the turf. Judged to be the last man by the referee, Datena was red-carded and didn't help his case by arguing the call fiercely. When all was said and done, it was Lyle Dylandy with a chance to tie. He'd been subbed on at halftime by Takeuchi to provide an attacking spark, and he converted the spot kick to make it 3-3.

"It was like a great heavyweight fight; no one could really get an edge and you could tell it would go down to the last round," said Dylandy. "We just kept going back and forth, back and forth. It felt like we were slowing down a bit in the second half, but we figured, hey, if we can hang around we've got a shot."

The teams continued to trade punches but the forwards were losing steam. The defenses started to finally assert some control, having seen enough to finally understand how players needed to be guarded. David Nefasto and Takeuchi continued to go to their benches as the half wore on to try and find the winning spark. Dustin Garbett eventually came on to put the Wings in a 4-3-3, and after an over-aggressive run earned Tulio a spot in the book, Nefasto threw on his last ace with under fifteen minutes to play: Alves.

Alves came on when the teams were approaching twenty minutes without a goal, the longest such spell in the match. Berber was assigned to mark him, and for five minutes, the substitute looked like a wasted move. Alves failed to get so much as a touch. But Berber was looking tired, and his opponent's fresh legs would be the decisive factor. In the 83rd minute, Alves used a burst of speed to slip behind Berber and receive a pass from Renildo. The team was trying to play a high line and catch such a run offside, so nobody was prepared to shut down the run. Alves made it 4-3.

"Football's a game you play for ninety minutes, we fell asleep for a few seconds and it cost us," said Berber.

Dancougar tried for the equalizer and had one last chance with a free kick in the second minute of injury time. Dylandy tried to find Stadler inside the box but his aim was slightly off. Stadler got her head under it and scooped it up over the bar, and Cafundeu were able to kill off the clock from there.

Cafundeu will take on Starblaydia in their second round match, while Dancougar will face Jasiyun. Given Jasiyun's location within Parapana, the Wings are expecting to face a hostile crowd.

Raynor City open off-season market: Just before the match with Cafundeu, Dancougar News!! received word that forward Hiromasa Nagasawa will be moving to Elves Security Forces for the upcoming regular season. It was reported on the FC Takano webpage that Nagasawa, who has two goals in this World Cup cycle in his senior team debut, was sold to Raynor City earlier this week for an undisclosed sum, although analysts place his value somewhere in the range of $3-5 million.

Nagasawa appeared to take a step backward in his professional development this past season when Raul de Olivares' consistent absence for managerial reasons placed a greater emphasis on him. Nagasawa looked overwhelmed at times and FC Takano slipped in the standings, but he still has a lot of potential and could flourish with the right players around him. Takano announced that Nagasawa's departure would be countered by a call-up for Lawrence Sutliff, who was on the Di Bradini Cup VIII team.

But Raynor City were frustrated in their efforts to grab Stefan Rosberg from Sporting Lakeport. Rosberg also made his senior team debut this cycle and leads the team with eight goals, with three of those in the finals. Coupled with his youth, analysts think he could have had an eight-digit transfer fee, but Lakeport refused to move him. "We have a responsibility to the fans to become a more competitive club," said coach Ron Featheringham, "and letting Stefan go would be a huge step backward."

While the move drew criticism for denying Rosberg a chance to play in a stronger league, and thus become a greater asset to the national team, some praised the move. "Dancougar's a top-ten team with two knockout round appearances in three cups, but the D-League is still a lightweight," says Jay Adonis of the Lakeport Times. "I think the league needs to be more aggressive and keep Dancougar's best players at home, at least at the start of their careers, and eventually they'll want to lift some of the ridiculous salary cap restrictions that are keeping the talent pool so shallow."

Fan loses glass eye in bar brawl: When an argument with a Bostopian fan in a SLANI bar got out of hand, 46-year-old Simon Gettersby turned the verbal assault into a physical one. But he never expected to end up as the victim at the end of the night. The Bostopian fan, who fled the scene and could not be found, assaulted Gettersby with the nearest weapon he could find - silverware that was lying on a nearby table.

"I hit this guy and he flies off his seat, right, but then I comes up behind and he jabs this thing at me, I don't even see it," said Gettersby. "Next thing I know I'm the one on my back." Gettersby was taken to a nearby hospital for observation before being turned over to local police, but the only damage was to his glass eye, which his insurance says it will not replace. "I tells you, I seen a lot of things in my life," said Gettersby, "but that was the wildest face-forkin' ever."

Letters to the Editor: Don't ask us how we received this communique from the fine ursines of Bears Armed, because the letter's addressed to the FA and reading someone else's mail is a federal offense. But the postman (who we suspect to actually be an intern) brought it here, which means the federal government thinks we're the FA! Whatever. It reads:

Hrarroom!

I am writing to you, with the approval of the Committee for The Strangers, at the behest of the elders of our nation's 'Clan Kerrucks' whose members are Ravens. They have noted the fact that your nation's Soccer team is known as the "Black Wings", and would like to know whether this fact indicates any particular dedication to the 'High Spirit' Raven or whether it is for some other reason instead. I hope that you will feel free to answer this question for us.

Yours politely,
Harron o Harruorr,
Minister for International Sport,
The Confederated Clans of the Free Bears of Bears Armed.

Centuries ago, before the arrival of the first British settlers, the native people had a legend that their ancestors were once at the mercy of a great demon empire based deep within the mountains in what is today the state of Desugaia. Their armies would sweep across the land and lay waste to all who did not accept slavery at their hands. One day, one of the natives stood up to the demon army and defeated them single-handedly. They said he had the keen senses of an eagle, the cunning of a cougar, the courage of a lion, and the brute strength of a mammoth. His name was Dancougar, which in their language meant "Divine Beast God."

In some versions of the legend, the hero did not only have the qualities of native animals, but also dominion over them. In the final battle, he realized the only way to defeat the demon emperor was to use his own life force to seal the empire deep within the mountain. After chanting the incantation, his most trusted animal ally, a black raven, plucked forth his heart and released Dancougar's soul from his body. The pure energy was able to lock away the demon empire and free the native people from his tyranny. His aura was so powerful among the native peoples that, when the British settlers established early colonies and the nation evolved into a separate kingdom, the name stuck.

Ah, but that does not fully explain where "Black Wings" comes from! Well, Japanese immigrants learned of the legend and naturally throught that it would make an excellent concept for a mecha anime. Thus, in 1985, Chouji Kishin Dancougar was born. It was a four-part combining super robot composed of an eagle, cougar, liger, and mammoth. The series appeared to draw inspiration from the versions with the raven, because a fifth machine that fought alongside the Dancougar also appeared in the show... the Black Wing! The adaptation was so popular when it aired that people began applying the name "Black Wing" to the raven in the legend.

Qazox

26-03-2009, 03:30

Saint Nash Courier
If you haven't heard it before, It's News to you!
SPORTS
Pheonix manage a Win

Qazox snapped a 10 match winless streak at the World Cup with a 1-0 win over the Bostopian Empire last night. While the win kept the team from tying a dubious record of 11 straight winless matches which was set almost 20 years ago.

Where the Pheonix go from here, no one knows.

Goals:
QZX: Angel Kenworthy- 16'

SCHEDULE:
MD1: Cafundéu @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt LOST 1-3
MD2: Dancougar @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt LOST 2-6
MD3: The Bostopian Empire @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt WIN 1-0

Jeruselem

26-03-2009, 03:50

Jeruselem Government News

"Unholy Trinity" take over from the Whore

Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas who retired as Jeruselem FA President recently handed over the running of her business empire to her three childen and grandchildren.

Queen Katherine Alexandra Dallas (aka Kate Dallas) will take over as CEO of Dallas Enterprises and run the corporate side. Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas has already taken over as Jeruselem FA President and will manage the football side of the Dallas empire including the Tel Aviv Sharks football club. Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas will manage the media commitments. Granddaughter Matilda Dallas will be public face of Dallas TV and keeps her job as host of Top Gear Jeruselem.

The relatives from Debbie Dallas side of the family won't miss out either. Celina Sadie Dallas who announced her retirement from any International football will start work as a part-time magicians's assistant and also an anchor at Naked News Jeruselem. Fiskin Dallas takes up residence in the palace as the Royal Nanny.

The two daughters Katherine Anne (Kate) and Jacinta Sallad of the late Mary Sallad will take over the operations of Naked News Jeruselem. NN Jeruselem are still looking for a replacement for Mary Sallad, Sadie Dallas will work there but it's not a full-time job.

Dazza won't be entirely out the business. She'll still be watching over her empire but from home and letting the kids take over. Debbie Dallas has long being retired and spends her time with the grandkids.

The public funeral of Mary Sallad will be held in a month's time. Rumours are Mary will be buried naked and with her favourite microphone in case she needs to use it in the afterlife.

The King of Jeruselem paid tribute to Mary
"She always had time for other people. She wasn't all that smart but she was always willing to help others. Unlike Marie who complains a lot about anything, Mary didn't complain about her lot. She took things as they come. Most of all, she'd talk to anyone. She didn't discriminate. I guess that's why she was popular."

Daehanjeiguk

26-03-2009, 20:36

World Cup 45 Qualification - Group 2
PRQ: 1-3@ Newmanistan [32] (@ Putnam Lake Stadium, Putnam Lake - ???)
MD1: 2-2 @ Greal [43] (@ who knows where?)
MD2: 1-0 @ Taeshan [31] (@ %$#^)
MD3: 2-0 @ Albundania [UNK] (@ here?)
MD4: 2-3@ Cassadaigua [50] (@ pink!)
MD5: 2-1 vs Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MD6: 1-0 @ Mo Land 3 [141] (@ gemme moland!)
MD7: 4-1 vs Achtervolging [98] (@ Dynasty Imperial Football Stadium, Namgyeong - 51,000)
MQ: @ Booblybobbers
MD8: 2-0 vs Greal [43] (@ Goguryeo Football Stadium, Pyeongyang - 52,000)
MD9: 6-0 vs Taeshan [31] (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD10: 4-0 vs Albundania [UNK] (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD11: 3-0 vs Cassadaigua [50] (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD12: 2-1 @ Candelaria And Marquez [15] (@ Millerman Sheppard Stadium, Albrecht - 40,614)
MD13: 3-0 vs Mo Land 3 [141] (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD14: 4-0 @ Achtervolging [98] (@ ah-choo!)
PTQ: 0-1 @ Sarzonia [56] (@ The Iron Bowl, Portland - 46,220)
World Cup Finals - Group D
MD1: 3-2 vs Bears Armed [] (@ Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center - 171,337)
MD2: 2-0 vs Jeruselem [] (@ Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights - 180,278)
MD3: 0-1 vs The Holy Empire (@ Querzakhi Olympic Stadium, Querzakhi - 157,080)
R16: vs. Sorthern Northland (@ Memorial Stadium, Sonoma City - 271,828)
QTF: vs. Jaseuyeon/Dancougar (@ C4Stadion, Metrewalk - 131,160)
SMF: vs. Cafundéu/Starblaydia or The Holy Empire/Ad'ihan (@ Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center - 171,337)
FIN: vs. whoever wins the other damned SMF, fuck (@ Holmes Stadium, Columbia - 390,100)

*** Spring Palace, Hangyeong ***

The Emperor read the news coming out from Jeruselem, the reports, and the one request. Marquis Pak Yu had already sent a response to the Jeruselemite invitation to attend a funeral procession:

To Her Highness the Queen of Jeruselem, Katherine Dallas, on the behalf of His Majesty of Jeruselem

On Behalf of His Imperial Majesty,

We reciprocate your offers for attend the funeral processions of the recently deceased Mary Sallad with our belated condolences and sorrow for the occasion. We have little offer in consolation for her death, beyond knowledge that the assailant will be removed from society for the duration of his viable existence within this world, as surely the Regent of Heaven reigns over the lands of the Han. Understandably, this letter is hard to write, given the histories of our encounters, but humanity knows when tragedy strikes, we are all summoned to testify against the anarchists and terrorists who seek to bring us in tandem with the beasts that know no reason nor incline to its power. Unfortunately, we are busy with other matters, some related to the investigation of the recent murder of your dearly beloved. As a show of respect for the people of Jeruselem, nonetheless, Count Han Seungsu - the Chief Administrator of the Academy of Foreign Affairs - has been elected to represent the Imperial envoy ad pay respects to the dead. We sincerely hope for the best and that the pain of loss will turn to progressive and positive memories on her behalf.

Marquis Pak Yu
Minister of Foreign Affairs
朴瑈侯，外交部會張

It was something simple - at least he hoped; such things were seldom at the bidding of the Emperor, especially considering the one-sided political and civil disagreements. But nonetheless, someone was going to represent the seriousness of the Imperial envoy and pay respects to the formerly profligate woman of the one detested clan. But he had to imagine how much worse this could have turned out; Jeruselem could be blaming him for ordering an assassination of a member of the royal family in order to destabilize the country. Oh, that would have been scandalous, not to mention destructive to the relatively and retrospectively mild ties between the two countries; yes, the Han didn't like the Jeruselemite government, but it was no reason to want to kill them. And at least whoever was trying to kill whoever didn't seem like trying to kill her. But try explaining that to the victims and their kin. Maybe this guy was just a horrible shot and didn't mean to kill the Daeweongun - perhaps he'd wanted to kill the Emperor... now that would be freaky.

"Pyei-ha," a minister came saying, "The Imperial Guards have returned from their trip. They have a very special package for you."

"Ah, good. It's finally come." Yeongmu needed nothing more to encourage him to leave the spot and head for the bunker where his passenger would be seated, waiting for his arrival. And perhaps then, they see face-to-face, mano-a-mano; and the Emperor could give him a taste of his own medicine.

*** Somewhere Secret ***

Jang Hwayang had been shuffled around a number of countries, before arriving via secret air mail to the Han Empire. And transported like a stock animal in a small box back to the Imperial Capital, where he was stuck in a bunker waiting for the Emperor's arrival And in moments he would be talking to the very man he had long ago attempted to kill. Things were coming to fruition.

"I'd like a drink of water," he said to the guard standing next to him. He immediately got a rifle butt to his gut.

"For the thousandth time, I said no drinks!"

The guard next to him muttered silently, "I think that was the 1093rd time you said that actually..."

Jang had to keep asking though. "I need a drink of water, please."

The gun came at him again.

"Stop asking! You know what the %$#^ answer is!"

"Please?"

Finally, after 1095 attempts to get the bastard to shut up, the guard leaned over to Jang's face and shouted directly at him. "You are not getting your drink shit here ever! Now %$#^ %$#^ %$#^!"

Instantly, Jang lunged forward and bit the man's nose. The recoil action of the guard managed to give Jang some momentum as he lifted himself off the chair and smashed it upon the other guard, shattering the wooden frame. Now partially free, Jang used his handcuffed hands to smash into the guard's face, knocking him out-cold. The second guard quickly brought up his weapon to fire upon Jang, but Jang had just rolled out of the room and into the hall. The alarm would go up in a moment. But more importantly, the Emperor would definitely be inside the complex when the alarms triggered the lock down. He would have his chance.

*** Grand Metropolitan Transportation Center, Hangyeong ***

Son had left immediately for the train station, where he was keeping his horse detained during his ventures in the city. He would ride the train out to Seonyeong, from which he would depart to his village. He said that he would spend only two nights, but thanks for negotiations within the Imperial Assembly, he was leaving nearly 5 months behind schedule, in the midst of the New Year's celebrations. That only meant that the train stations were packed full of people, and this was no exception. Baek and Pak managed to find him on the way to the station, offering him a lift there. They too were leaving for home, albeit to a warmer and much more crowded South.

"I'm terribly sorry about what happened between you and Miss Min," Baek said. "It's a terrible really."

"I'd rather not talk about it," Son replied.

"Ah, it's all well then," Baek said. "I'm pretty sure that Jangni will be faring much better this season. The town has been doing fairly well over the past few years."

"I'm not sure what I'm going to tell my people," Son then said. "They expected me to give them a new hope."

"Well, cheer up! It's your first time. In politics, you rarely succeed the first time. In which case, you'll hopefully have time for another chance. And then another. And then you learn to gamble it for even more money. That's where Pak comes in."

"Yes, sir."

"He's the best man I know. He can make any odd and strange circumstance into a right one."

"We are arriving at the station, sir. Would you care for any last words, sir?"

"Words?" Son asked.

"You have a deep heart, sir, but your charity spreads thin. Try to be less concerned with what's done and what's to be done. Moments are fleeting, sir, and to make the fleetly move fleetlier is non-sense."

"Huh?"

"My man, Pak!" Baek said, slapping Pak's back with much encouraging glee. "He's such cryptic man! He means to cherish each moment, whether happy or bad. Because they're all nice in some odd way."

"Thanks..." Son stepped out of the car and headed to the trains headed for the West. The trains there would terminate at Oromokjei, but pass conveniently through Seonyeong. Baek turned inquisitively to Pak, asking him in brief, "Do you imagine that this scheme will work?"

"Indubitably, sir. I know they are destined for it."

"I'm quite anxious after their last meeting, however. If it falls for ill, we'll be pressed for an answer."

"We need none, sir. They only need time to mend the wounds."

"Well, there goes the Madam, and she's in a rush." They were spying from just outside the station, watching the scene unfold as Min Seunghwa, unbeknownst to her, ran furiously through the crowd and into Son. Baek cringed at the sight. "Oh, that was not good."

Son got himself back up and off the floor, glancing only slightly at Min. "What's this? You're stalking me now?"

"Stalking?" Min replied. "I have to get home somehow! And the damned taxi driver dropped me off at the wrong side of the station, and I'm going to be late, thanks to you stopping me!"

"Stopping? You ran into me!"

"You're in my way!"

"Well, get on then!" Son brushed himself up just a little bit. Min was even more furious, so much that she lashed at him. That caught the attention the crowd around them, and in an instant, the mob seized both of them and sent them to the police quarter. Self-enforcement at its best.

"Oh great!" Baek exclaimed. "Now they're both at the police. This is not good at all! Madam Min will be late, and Son angry! Why couldn't we be any less subtle than this?"

"Master Baek," Pak replied, "if we'd do this any other way, they wouldn't have the romance of the moment. Sometimes, you need to be locked away in a little cell next to your lover for true passions to unfold."

"Eh... so you're saying getting locked up with your wife is a good honeymoon?"

"Hardly, sir," Pak replied.

"That's good to know. Even though I'm not married yet..."

"With the way you manage life, marriage would be torture, sir."

"Right. And now they're getting interrogated by the police..."

"Agasshi, is there any reason why you started to hit the man?"

"He was in my way!" Min replied. "He's going to make me very late for my train, and then I'm going to have to wait six or seven hours before the next train comes along. I'd consider that a grave inconvenience he's caused me."

"Agasshi, you do realize that he's a prefect."

"Yes, I know him. And he's a gaesekgi!"

"Agasshi, please watch your language," the officer said.

"I don't care. He is a gaesekgi and you can tell that to the magistrate!"

The officer sighed. "Ajeosshi, do you know this woman?"

"I do..."

"Is there any reason why you would have let her start this fight?"

"Let her? I wouldn't let her near me if I had the choice."

"Civil misconduct during the New Year Season is a serious case, but seeing as our cells are filled, I'm going to have to detain you until the morning here in this office. And I won't press this to the magistrate for this district. Consider yourselves lucky that you're not going to jail for something as petty as this."

"But... I really have to get on," Son said in return. "I have to return to my prefect tonight!"

"That will have to wait until tomorrow, sir."

At the same time, both Son and Min slumped in the chair, disgusted that they would have to wait out the night in the same room, with a bunch of police officers. And meanwhile, Baek and Pak were playing voyeurs from a distance and watching the whole thing. Baek was at the time thinking, "You know, Pak... maybe we should intervene?"

"And confess that we know of their circumstance, sir?" Pak replied. "I'd hardly imagine that that would lessen their plight, sir."

"Right..."

*** Hogwang Province ***

A PREVIEW OF THINGS TO COME

Po Hakrim was busily tending a field of rice. It was springtime, and the fields needed to be primed for rice. The muddy flats needed to become more watery, after the dry season stole away much of the moisture, and so he was stomping around the terraces hoping to incorporate the rainwater with the dried mud cakes in which the rice would soon grow. But if the mud was not ready, then Po would have an even harder time trying to plant the rice on time. And thanks to the winter season, he was out of school, which meant that he was spending his days working on the terraces. It was a bad time for him, because he was the only kid he knew at school that still worked on a farm. On occasion, he was the only kid who smelled like manure, because his parents insisted on his fine education in the matters of the world around them. Surprisingly, that seemed to include farm work. And the fact that his parents were since dead seemed to complicate the matter even more, as his grandmother and uncles raised him to work on the farms. Between the world of humiliation and the world of mediocrity, Po had no perfect place to hide in seclusion. He was stuck doing the bidding of his relations or avoiding the ridicule of his peers. And the fact that the recent year was somewhat drier than years past meant that he was spending even more time plowing the field with his feet. The fact that the oxen were too "expensive" to perform manual labor made his plight even more disgusting, as he tried to explain to the other farmers why he was using just his feet. "Ah poor child," they thought, "He's too stupid to use a cow." And half of the time, he wondered if they were right; because he could just take the cow out to the paddies and get the cows to perform the action for him... but he'd reason to himself that the smell of manure would make the cows' absence all the more noticeable. And he'd get a big whipping with grandmother's famed bamboo stick. "I've raised 3 children with it!" she'd say. "And it still has the crack of death upon it!" No, he couldn't just take the expensive ox and use it for manual labor. Heck, with the cattle that she'd buy, who knew if they knew what manual labor was?

"Good evening to you!" a friendly voice called from behind him. Hakrim looked behind him. Nothing, not even the gentle breeze blowing the fine mist of rain upon him. He turned back to his task at hand, thinking that he was just imaging things.

"I said good evening!" The friendly voice called again. Hakrim turned around again, and then at that instant saw a great dragon right behind him.

"Oh ho!" the lad cried as he fell back into the muddy paddy, stuck now. "Please don't eat me!"

"Eat you?" the dragon replied. "I'm here to help you."

"Help?"

"Yes. Help. It's a marvelous concept, isn't it?"

"Why are you going to help me?"

"Because it's a little something in return for a favor," the dragon said, offering little other explanation.

"Why does a dragon need a favor from me?"

"Sometimes, we need people to come with us," the dragon answered Hakrim. "That sometimes means finding a diamond in the rough. And I think you are one such character."

"How do I help you?" Hakrim asked, wondering what sort of trouble he was getting himself into.

The dragon hesitated at a response. Instead, she raised her hand and lifted Hakrim out of the mud without touching him. It was magic! A magic dragon! In his rice paddy! And now that Hakrim could see the dragon fully from the air, he noticed that she was settled upon the terraces, ruining the land conformation that had taken many years to form. "Oh! You're ruining my paddy!" Hakrim yelled.

"We'll focus on the part about how you can help me," the dragon replied. "I'll help you if you just listen to me. I want you to find some ginger roots in the hills nearby. Bring them back to me in thirty minutes."

"How is that not helping you?"

"Well, that's the first step," the dragon said. "Now go. If you do not return in 30 minutes, I will not help you."

Faced with little other option, Hakrim ventured into the nearby woods, in search of ginger roots. They weren't hard to find, but at this season, it would be near impossible without their flowers Essentially, finding ginger roots in the dry season was the equivalent to finding a needle in a haystack. Nonetheless, Hakrim knew where some roots grew and he went there instantly. Without any measure of time and in the absence of a sunny sky, he could hardly tell the time but he knew that it would be near 30 minutes for the whole trip. The fact that it started to rain even harder make it difficult for him to find his footing in the hills. But he knew the hills - they were his home when he wasn't at school or at work. And it was the one place where his family could not find him. Still, he couldn't have his living hiding in the woods, so he could never last very long there. And here he was looking through the woods for ginger roots. What was the world coming to now?

He managed to return within the thirty minute limit and found that not only was the dragon gone, but the field was completely plowed and repaired. Talking about miracles... that one was one to keep for the books.

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/Companies/MBC.png

Madness Not Mad Enough to Mad Mad Madmen - Han Lose to Stone-Age People

QUERZAKHI - In the latest show of piety and respect, the Han lost out to the only true barbarians of the group - the stone-age men of the Holy Empire. And while it might have been fitting for the Han Empire to make their exit from the Group Stage losing to a group of weird folk who pounded the ball to dust, leading to a record number of ball replacements (even more than when we had to keep feeding the ball onto the pitch after those damned blancmanges kept eating them! - luckily, the local staff were oddly equipped with an infinite supply of football stuff), the Han Empire still progressed out of the Group in the 2nd spot, where Jeruselem missed even having a shot at entering the Second Round via an odd three-way tie that would have possibly befuddled the befuddling hosts. Fortunately for them, the Bears managed to pull out an impressive 3-0 win over Jeruselem, perhaps still shell-shocked by the death of their beloved Sarah Mallard (editor's note: That's Mary Sallad); and perhaps even the Han were a bit shell-shocked as they started playing slowly. The Stone-age men of the Holy Empire took their first strike on goal and made it count, earning the quick winner from just 4 minutes into the match.

Joining the Han and the Holy Empire are Sorthern Northland and Ad'ihan, both of whom managed to crowd out Prux and the SLANI (who crowded each other out with something on the order of and odd 4-4 draw). The Han will be facing against Sorthern Northland for the third time in as many World Cups (4), both of the previous encounters being 1-1 draws. If history proves anything right, we'll draw them 1-1 and lose the penalties 4-2 (we almost always do). Jaseuyeon managed their own 4-2 shocker over Starblaydia, to clinch the top spot over the defending world champions; they'll have a fantastic revisit of that WC44 Final match against Cafundeu, who won Group C with Dancougar (shock!). Not so shocking was Qazox's first and last win of the tournament, ending it all on a drab 1-0 affair over the Bostopian Empire. In Demot, The Archregimancy pulled out a 3-1 win over Kelssek, while Demot secured qualification with a 1-0 win over Septentrionia - they were sooo close to getting through too. Milchama and Kura-Pelland rounded out Group F, while Vephrall handed Cassadaigua their final defeat of their first WC appearance (at least they're not Kelssek...). Group G is still unsettled, although the two winners are already known. In a random draw, either Bostopia or Yafor 2 will be stepping out for a fantastic opportunity to take the top seed and win a chance to not play against Milchama; yes, the alternative is not playing against Kura-Pelland. The co-host progressing on - Demot - will have the keen opportunity to face against fellow mates Valanora, who secured progression to the next round with a whopping 5-3 win over Rennidan. For their part, Candelaria And Marquez will be playing against the Archregimancy, after beating Bazalonia 1-0. And so Bazalonia joins the inglorious rank of those teams that do so well at the qualifiers and then sucks at the World Cup consistently.

And we'll be holding our breaths hoping that the Han will find some way to break tradition and defeat the Sortherners. Maybe fans should bring out their favorite duck (geese are, for the moment, not allowed).

Goal Tally
17 - Jeong Jihun (3)
10 - Kim Mihyeon (1)
5 - Kim Daeeui
3 - Baek Jihun (1)
2 - Song Jongguk, Shin Ganyak, Yi Yeongpyo
1 - Pak Yongho

Candelaria And Marquez

26-03-2009, 22:22

“Pappas will find Vavasour, can’t make it past Jones but it’s back to Zec, and this is a really solid period of keep-ball here, they’re not letting Bazalonia have a sniff…”

“No, the Bazalopes’ heads have dropped utterly, two goals in sixty seconds is just beyond them, and it does look like we’re going to cruise to the points here.”

“And even snatch a late second, John, ‘cos this is good from Vavasour, finds Pappas, Pappas is right through here! Eeee… Ugh. Well, that’s weak from Diego Fernando Pappas really, trying to get a shot off on his left foot, and he’s still only got the one goal in a Big Blues shirt… but it wastes time, that’s what important here.”

“Truly awful defending from the former finalists as well, you have to say.”

“Aye, McEvoy totally lost without Goodrem, ultimately, but that’s what you get for having such a small squad. Kudos to Leisel MacDonald, you have to say, she’s been the Woman of the Match for me… Pappas back on the ball, Zhan will launch this one forwards, barely twenty seconds left on the clock, for me… Howard’ll try and squeeeeze… No, easily dealt with by Enrique, such a presence now at thirty-two years of age, and it’s back to Gregory Jones… Time for one last punt, tries to find Van Houten… But that’s your whistle, it’s a slim but confident victory in the long run, and C&M, are again through, to the last sixteen!”

“Arright, thank you Jo–”

“Back to you in the studio, Ben.”

“I… Yes. Thanks. So, gentlemen, one-nil? I reckon we can be pretty chuffed with that, don’t you?”

“It’s job done ultimately, innit? Nothing spectacular, early goal, held on, grew in confidence, ‘specially at the back, gave MacDonald something to, worry about, Sbaïz not really forced into, too much, in the way, of, sa–”

“I’ve got yer inhaler here somewhere, bruv…”

“Bless yeh, Musty.”

“Iain, you’d be in agreement here?”

“Ye-es, broadly. Look, there was nothing to terrify anyone out there this evening, but let’s be honest here; no-one’s looked completely unstoppable here yet. The Eesseff, obviously we haven’t seen any of their game against Rennidan, but that sounds more like a return to attacking form, Ca–”

“We’ll be showing edited highlights of that one in a moment, by the way.”

“Edited… yeah. Cafundéu have looked impressive, the Sortherners have just been on fire this past year or so, but basically it’s all much of a muchness, y’know, it’s up for grabs.”

“Indeed, well we’ll be back to the minutiae of this game in just a minute, including the all-important question – was Spooner offside… Straw poll?”

“Not a chance.”

“No? We’re all agreed on that? Great, well let’s take a look at the final tables then with Group H finally completed… And there we are sitting pretty in second place, plenty over Bostopia and the Yaforites to be cleared up, Vephrall missing out there… If we can just slide up a bit, please… No? Well anyway, I can tell you tha… No, here it comes. Lovely. The two empires there both through, Starblaydia only second in their group, that’s the surprise of the tournament really, and Jaseuyeon through while the SLANI are left spitting feathers, I should think… Sorthern Northland flying high in Group A, there. As for the last sixteen draw, just popping up here… Now of course we don’t know… Eh?”

“I thought we were playing the Group G winners…”

“It’s a stitch-up, bruv!”

“Well we should damn well com–”

As a tentative knocking heralded the arrival of her secretary, the one with the weird name, no don’t tell her, she’ll get it in a minute; President Morton pressed the red button. This eventually led to a Torchwood repeat in high-def, requiring a short but desperate search for the remote’s seldom-employed ‘Off’ button.

“Come in… Snezhana?”

“Got it in one, ma’am. Um, we have a slight problem it was felt I should mention…”

“This would be about the football, I take it?”

“Cor… You have a sixth sense for this sort of thing, ma’am. Yes, it would seem that we all, kind of, forgot to check what the actual lay-out for the World Cup knock-out stages would be, and, um…”

“And we won’t be playing the Yaforites or Bostopia? Christ woman, that kept me awake at night! I had nightmares about ducks and croutons…”

“We all have nightmares about ducks, Mrs President, you’re not alone. So yes, we’ve got the monksfromanalternatereality instead. Um. We thought you ought to know, anyway. Would you prefer TV1 to suffer major technical issues half an hour before kick-off, or…?”

“Not really my call, is it?”

“Um. It kinda is… The Minister for Remedial Teaching is a little bit missing, and the bods down at the Ministry would rather like some instructions from a forceful woman, I think.”

“There’s still no word from her? God… I really hope she hasn’t done anything stupid…”

“We can still have an armed detachment sent down to Gordon Bay, ma’am.”

“She won’t have been that stupid… And no, as it goes. Have them show the match on the prerequisite half hour delay, but otherwise leave it as it is.”

“Ma’am?”

“I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, Snezhana, but people are getting jumpy. Suspicious, even. What were once dismissed as the mad ramblings of conspiracy theorists are suddenly being talked of as distinct possibilities by otherwise sane individuals. Frankly, as long as no-one brings up the fromanalternatereality thing, showing the Archregimancy’s national team for what it is can at worst give people something to talk about… Have them broadcast and be damned, Snezhana. Robes an’ all.”

“Even the funny little hats?”

“Especially the funny little hats. I feel like living dangerously.”

***

Elsewhere…

Specifically, the elsewhere from reply number six-hundred and twenty-three, if anyone’s taking notes.

“Eh?” Sukie offered after a suitable pause, summing up the general consensus.

“She is Debbie Baker,” Morgan sighed, “Mark’s elder sister. She was… lost, during the Gordon Bay City disas… attack. They found her, rescued her…”

“You call that ‘rescuing’?”

“Do not be indignant on my behalf, Ms Rohaert,” the Debbie – The Debbie – whispered, her eyes still locked on Mark’s. “I was badly wounded when She found us, my brother and I. Without Them, I would have surely died.”

“‘She’?”

“Leohi. The Light of the Kolan. Of course, she was but a child herself at the time. And she had meant to take my dear brother, but…”

“W… Why did they do this to you… Debbie?”

“Nothing They have done occurred without my full consent, Ms Rohaert. It is a sacrifice, this life, but… For the sake of the Greater Good, the Glorious Past… I would do anything to let my people embrace the love that I have known among the Kolan… It was necessary for me to enter a symbiotic relationship with the Device in order to properly guide its progress.”

Though Sukie was no professional when it came to this sort of lark, she’d long since learnt to tread carefully with native English speakers who opted out of contractions during everyday speech. And particularly so with deformed naked women suspended from ceilings, obviously.

“I’ve seen our Time Dilation Device. Doesn’t have a woman floating on top, as I recall.”

“Yes. This one does, however. Its task is all the greater, and requires careful steering. If we are to reach the Glorious Past, it can only be performed with the perfect fusion of humanity and… machine.”

“That’s no machine,” Sukie said coldly.

“Of course… You know the Devices better than most, Ms Rohaert. And will understand better than most our great undertaking, I am certain. Our countryfolk, alas, would struggle to cope with the full implications…”

“Not that I especially care at this stage,” Jenny Harris commented dryly, “But do I get an inkling of what this great undertaking might be? As far as I was aware, our Device is kept in the Ministry largely to keep it out of the hands of your little mates. And its only purpose is to reposition Time after football matches and whatnot to ensure that our players and so forth age at a similar rate to their international peers. And that we don’t end up playing World Cup qualifiers once every twenty-four hours.” She paused. “Which, come to mention it…”

“That never struck you as at all odd?” Morgan sighed again, adding in a bit of eye-rolling. “Kelssek seems to manage perfectly well, and their natural timeline’s no faster than ours. Or yours, anyway… Things tend to work a little different in this particular, er…”

“Abode?”

“Thank you, yes… The point is, all of that stuff is just a convenient by-product.”

“It’s not about football at all?”

“Well… Yes, but only inasmu–”

“Ms Rohaert understands, does she not?”

“I do? Yes… I suppose I do, although you’re referencing really obscure plot points here, luv. But… You’re… you’re trying to force events back through time far enough that the past – or The Past, if you prefer – will be altered for good. And it’s your doing, you’re the one who controls the Device, and all the time-mangling that we’ve suffered through over the past… two years, or two decades, depending on how you look at it… That’s you?”

“For far longer than that, indeed… It was necessary to lay certain groundwork prior to the so-called ‘Baptism of Fire’. My dear brother, he was the only moral choice to lead, you understand? It would not be right for me to have involved an innocent stranger in this way. We allowed him to age at a different rate, to gain the knowledge necessary to make a competitive sporting force of our naïve little islands. ‘The Past’ as you put it, has been changing for many years, dramatically at times, though not in a manner that even one such as you, with intimate knowledge of the Devices, would maintain an awareness of.”

“Woo. I still don’t understa–”

“Tell me, Ms Harris, in which year did my brother and his team enter unto international football?”

“‘Unto’? Seriously? Er, 1988, I think. But yes, I know, it was only really a couple of our years ago and was all forced back through time… I’m well aware of all this. I am the Minister, for heaven’s sake!”

“But it’ll go back even further, won’t it, woman-hanging-from-ceiling? You won’t stop until we’ve gone all the way back to the Spring of ’69, will you? You want to stop the Gordon Bay disaster, you want that first match with Ac-cz to coincide with the Ifewan attack, you want the people of the Candelarias to discover everything there and then, you wan–”

“I want an audience surrogate!” Jenny shouted testily, “Because I’m the Minister for Remedial Teaching and I don’t have a clue what’s going on!”

“Jen… This is what Lyndon was trying to do all those months, he was trying to warn me! Why me, I can’t imagine, but… He knew that if this came to pass, this, this…”

“Glorious Past.”

“Yeah… You know it won’t be so bloody glorious, don’t you? We’d end up being drawn into any number of inter-species conflicts, millions would die, I mean…”

“That is merely one possible outcome, one which the Kolan would not allow to come to pass. Believe me, Ms Rohaert, I have seen the Pasts and Presents and Futures alike. I know what we shall face. It is merely a matter of Time.”

“You’re not going to tell me that you’ve become the Nexus of All That Is, are you?”

“I fear I may have.”

“Oh, that’s never good… I don’t suppose we can impinge upon you to stop, can we?”

Debbie remained silent, but Morgan shook her head. “What ever bad experiences you’ve had with Devices, believe me that this was not a task entered into lightly. Debbie, and the Kolan elders, and latterly myself – we’ve been working on this for years! Candelaria And Marquez, and all our lives, will be immeasurably bettered by it! ”

“Those of us who don’t pop out of existence!”

“They’ll never have existed! New people will. Better people! Providing that…”

“That…?”

Sally swallowed, and limply gestured towards the scattered corpses around the room. “Understandably, given both your lines of work, you may have inadvertently overlooked the presence of dead bodies, but I didn’t… Something’s happening, there’s political upheaval, rioting, killings… Plans are changing, and the Devices may yet prove to be at the heart of that… As long as Debbie and the Device are linked nothing serious can occur –”

“Apart from the complete restructuring of Candelariasian history over the past fifty years to include public handshakes with leprechauns and vast conflicts?”

“Quite, quite. Now, ladies, Mr Baker… MARK!”

“Yerug?”

“Good. Without wishing to sound like a broken record, we’d be wise to get the hell of it here befo–”

“Before the perpetrators of this appalling crime against her own people returns to survey her handiwork, Sally Morgan?

“Could be, your Ladyship…”

Sukie coughed awkwardly. “Ah, and here’s another strange woman popping out of nowhere to explain the plot! Fantastic.” She peered into the gloom in an unlit corner of the room, and took an involuntary step back as the newcomer stepped forward.

The woman appeared in her early twenties, with a strange, playful voice that seemed altogether older. Her skin and hair and eyes were an identical deep brown, while a loose-fitting beige gown failed to hide a memorable figure. Sukie, while not in fact that way inclined in the least, couldn’t help but be blown away by the woman’s undeniable –

“Alright, now the prerequisite twenty seconds of admiring my shimmering beauty in an awed silence has passed… Gentlemen, if you would?”

Sukie and the Minister turned too late to see five young men – all brown, though somewhat on the opposite scale of attractiveness – slip out of the shadows and grasp the pair’s shoulders, Mark Baker also dragged peacefully away from his sister’s reach.

“Er, my Ladyship, if I may? The woman on the left is Jenny Harris, she’s here searching for her so–”

“I know exactly who she is, you stupid girl. Ikapa, Aino, take Sally Morgan with the others…”

“But –!”

“Dear sister, I beseech you!”

“We shall deal with you, my sweet Deborah Baker, when the moment suggests itself. For now… I believe we have our Reason, gentlemen, don’t you?”

***

Susannah Rohaert, a previously quiet and unassuming forensic pathologist, had found herself in pretty pickles before, since becoming unwittingly – and later a bit more wittingly – caught up in the activities of the Ministry for Rational Thought slash Remedial Teaching… but this, she felt, took the biscuit to a quite considerable degree.

The dark corridors of the domain of Them, or the Kolan, or whatever they called themselves, had given way to a vast cavern, its black and gently moving walls illuminated by torchlight. Within its bowls, many hundreds of youthful… faeries, or Kolani, or something of that ilk, had gathered and were watching the overhanging balcony with intense interest.

Sukie, Jenny Harris MP and Mark Baker occupied much of it, having been forced to their knees by a handful of burly fellows in rippling skin-tight armour. Sally Morgan had been taken off down a different corridor en route, while the woman currently occupying Sukie’s thoughts as ‘this Leohi bird’ had also made herself scarce.

Momentarily so, it turned out, as Sukie craned round to see the woman make her grand entrance, accompanied by… courtiers, presumably, of both genders and various ages. A girl of surely no more than ten years of age, and the spit of Leohi, flashed the human woman a look of pure hatred as crowd began to cheer themselves almost into a frenzy.

As if for daring to gaze upon the woman’s visage, the guardsman directly behind the pathologist forced her head back towards the audience. Only then did Sukie notice the occasional incongruous blonde in the crowd, and it was clear from her friend’s expression that Jenny had spotted this too as she strained to find a small human boy amongst the heaving mass of fairydom. Behind her, Leohi had silenced the throng with a barking string of incomprehensibly invective, but suddenly her tone shifted into a rather more familiar tongue.

“And why should I not address you in English, brethren, and blight our land with their bitter snarlings? Clearly the ‘Candelariasians’ themselves have no compulsions to the contrary, given the ease of mind by which these hags and this mind-empty fool choose to defile our realm!”

“We were thinking more ‘abode’, to be honurgh…”

“How gleefully they mock us, brethren! And I ask you, Kolan and Mankolan alike – have the days when we punished the manthings for daring to trespass upon our land passed? Have we become so weak, so impotent, that we are to merely ignore this deepest of slurs against our very being?!”

A series of cheers from the crowd suggested the opposing position was prevalent among their number.

“Oh, but the elders would not wish you to think this way! They have become fond of the manthings! The cries of anger from nobility and peasantry alike go ignored, brethren, while they wallow in the opulence they believe is theirs by right of age alone! Even now, while these mere apes tread freely upon our land, even now the elders ignore them, and ignore us!”

The responding sporadic shouts came in the unrecognised language, but Sukie gathered that the general theme was on the lines of ‘For Shame!!!’

“We could let this insolence slide, of course. A first offence deserves leniency, does it not? Have not these humans done our bidding well enough for these centuries past? NO! No, my brethren, they have NOT! Even now, the foul half-form sits atop his nest of skulls in the parasitic land of Green, making common cause with the Stepchildren, and all the while preparing to break with decades of institution! They make friendly with the Vanorians, permit the dancing bears onto their soil! Even now, even now, as we speak, many millions of ‘Candelariasians’ will prepare to watch their football team play against the Mad Monks – ”

A round of indignant shouting followed from the crowd. Leohi put up a hand.

“The Mad Monks, brethren, of an alternate reality! In what way can this be permitted, I ask you? After decades of keeping these simple creatures in gleeful ignorance of the dark world that surrounds them, they choose to throw it back in our faces?! For football?! They have broken the covenant, brethren! Once and for all, they have proven themselves for the callow, treacherous creatures they are! Are they worthy of our protection, are they truly? Are they worthy of the land they tarnish by their very presence?!

“And here, my gentle friends, here is the ultimate abhorrence. Our elders, our leaders… They fear the ‘Candelariasians’. They fear their guns, and their black souls, and their knowledge. They believe that we must hide, hide in this realm, cower from the sunlight! They believe that as we control them, so they control us! That our futures, Kolan and ‘Candelariasians’ are intertwined! WORSE! Worse, that we can be nothing more than their servants! They fear them, brethren! They fear the humans!

“See the humans, my friends. See these weak hags. Should we fear them? Should we cower?”

“NEVER!!” Sukie guessed.

“Their presence, in our realm, in Demot… It is the final clarion call to every freeborn Kolan. As they turn their backs of centuries of tradition, of harmony, then so must we! Whether the elders can open their swollen eyes to it or not, the truth remains. We must act! We must end this! We must take back the land that it ours by birthright! We must cower no longer! We must take arms!

“My brethren… We must destroy them.”

Starblaydia

26-03-2009, 22:34

Panarii Sets Retirement Date
World Cup 45 will close his chapter

The timing of this announcement was unfortunate in that it came mere moments after Starblaydia were thrashed by the odd couple of goals in a six-goal mauling of a match against Jasīʼyūn. Starblaydia themselves scraped through to the Second Round by the skin of their proverbial teeth, thanking the sporting gods that this pair of hosting nations had decided to use Head-to-Head results as the first tie-breaker, rather than goal difference. Had this been a somewhat more traditional arrangement, Starblaydia would have missed out by virtue of a minus-one in their 'GD' column. Thankfully for the defending champions, however, they are through to the knockouts to face the Monopolists, a team who are gunning for revenge.

Instead of confidently being able to say that he'd retire from managing Starblaydia at the end of this World Cup, Lex Panarii seemed more like a man who would be out on his ear at the end of the next match. Demolished by Jasīʼyūn, his side will have to bounce back - and how - against the team ranked third in the world who were only denied their first World Championship four years ago by the boot of Nei Samba in an incredible penalty shoot-out.

Starblaydia's best starting eleven are all available for the match against Cafundéu, something that Panarii must rely on when the two teams meet in the Überdome. Should either team overcome this hurdle, they will be installed as favourites for the title itself, as they are, quite simply, two of the best teams in the world and any win would provide massive momentum for a real title challenge.

For his four completed tournaments, with the fifth about to come to a conclusion, Lex Panarii's two glorious victories mark him out as Starblaydia's greatest ever manager. From playing in the Baptism of Fire, to creating the Raiigar, to captaining the side, to managing and winning an AOCAF Cup, two invitationals and two World Championships - Panarii's achievements are unrivaled in Starblaydia's long and distinguished sporting history. All he wants now, however, is one thing, summed up in two words.

Starblaydia win.

The Gupta Dynasty

27-03-2009, 00:26

Practice Field, prior to the match

I wipe my forehead, feeling the awful heat begin to press on me. It's a strange kind of humidity, as if the world is somehow pushing down, without care. What makes it worse, to me, at least, is that the sky is really beginning to condense. Yeah - it's about to rain, and I'm pretty sure that it's not going to be a nice cool shower, either. It'll be one of those storms that has hot, damp rain, where you keep practicing and hoping for lightning or whatever. It's not really a pleasant day, and I'm relatively sure that whatever the day will bring, it's not really going to improve much either.

We're on a really nice practice field - that much can be seen. These Demotians really know how to pamper someone. In all fairness, though, this is the first time that they're hosting a World Cup, so no doubt they've been waiting for this opportunity to pamper people for quite some time. Lucky fellows. I only wish that the IYF/SA would just get off of it's backside and decide to be a little bit more proactive regarding hosting foreign events. I've been really critical of them for a lot of things (namely, barring me from playing on this team!), but this is something that ticks off a lot of people, not just me.

I turn at the sound of my voice. "Ilsinha, Ilsinha, phone!" A phone call? Who the hell calls someone in the middle of practice? It's accepted that I'm allowed to leave (with the time difference, it's not at all surprising they we're being called during practice sessions), but, still! It's not like they can't wait a few hours or anything! I mean, I hate practice as much as the next person, but still, this is really quite outrageous! Enalla's eyes, whoever it is really must have a good excuse for this one! I swear it. "Who is it? I'm sort of busy right now!" The player who's working alongside me (that's Caires Sports' Ahershk Valinial), rolls his eyes somewhat widely. "What?" I glare at him abrasively. He should know better than to judge me like that.

"You don't have be so...well, I guess the word is 'macho', all the time, Ilsinha. We know you're tough. We know you're willing to take the ball on your own and try to score -" off to the side, Turkarin Varanias adds a sidelong comment "all too much, really, that's why we are where we are", but Ahershk ignores him and continues. "Just give in. I'm sure whoever is calling you really wants to talk to you. It's no like we all haven't taken time out to answer the phone." That's exactly the point, and Ahershk knows it as well as I do. I'm not just like every guy on this team. I'm not. I have breasts, for one, and an ability to score, for another. I'm better. That's the reason I don't give in. I'm better than the rest of them.

"Just do it. It's not like you've received any other calls. I'm actually sort of surprised that someone bothered calling you, the way you are." I know that he's goading me - I know it! - but, like any prize-winning bull, I can't but help to accept the goad and give in. Naturally, I'm slightly intrigued as well (after all, Ahershk is right in that no one actually ever calls me), but it's the principle of the thing. That'll mark the first time that I've actually given in to one of my team-mates. Golden Wolves 1, Ilsinha 0. Really, if I was keeping score, it might be closer to 1.0-93, but it really isn't, and I'm not going to bother attempting to take on my team. Except when I am. You know how that goes.

The phone is lying on the inside of the official "office" where the players contact their families. It's really more like a cubicle, but sometime the more pompous members of the staff get away with making more pompous titles. We're really not one of those high-tech, top-class teams, even if we are a mainstay in the second round (although far closer to sporadic for rounds afterward). Still, Oronar likes his little pleasures, and while the team hasn't been doing very well this world cup, there's a certain difference in attitude with him here (or so I've been told. Apparently there is. Might be due to me. I wouldn't be surprised). But, still, the phone is lying there, and there's someone on the other side, from Kaltar, who wants to talk to me.

"Hello?" I try to sound cautious. It's really not clear who would try and call me. Mama and Papa aren't the type to bother. I also don't know if they know how to operate a phone (that's an exaggeration. They do struggle with the VoIP service I forced them to install, though). "Ilsinha? I'm amazed you answered!" It's Jaria Soradrin, probably the best striker in the Grand Democratic Duchy, and a close friend, as well. She's also one of those who opposed me joining the national team (although she was nice about it). I haven't talked to her in days, months even. "You're practicing, so..." She must have assumed my silence meant that I was displeased with her or something.

"No, no problem at all. Just make it quick, okay?" I know I'm abrupt, I know it's rude, but, really, we haven't had much of a relationship in quite a while. It's quite odd that she's calling me. "It's okay, it won't take long." Jaria's picked up on that, and from the sound of her voice (although, I'll be the first to note that I struggle at picking up currents from people's voices), she's not surprised at my standoffish behavior. I'm not either. That's how I am. "Only a few words, actually." This isn't like her. She typically talks a lot, talks quickly. This makes me interested, really. "Oh?" I can't think of something intelligent to say, but I know I have to say something, if only to show that I'm listening. "I've decided to follow in your footsteps. I'm trying out next year."

I don't cry very often. Really, I haven't cried since I was a kid. I didn't cry when my brother was killed in Generia - I got through it on my own. But at those words, those five words, I couldn't help but begin to bawl. I simply started sobbing like I was a child again, and my wish for an ice cream had come true.

New Manhattan

27-03-2009, 00:40

Second round — Demot region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14637266&postcount=26)

Demot

27-03-2009, 01:33

Second round - SLANI region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14637414&postcount=27)

Jeruselem

27-03-2009, 02:51

Jeruselem Government News

Prince Henry causes chaos at Internet Security Expo in Jeruselem

Crown Prince Henry of Jeruselem visited the annual Internet Security Expo in Jeruselem today. Vendors lined up to show off their new products to the future King of Jeruselem hoping to land a deal with the government. Plenty of vendors selling Internet filtering products tried to show their product was bullet proof and worthy of his consideration. The vendors found the son of Kate Dallas a bit smarter than they thought. While most vendors products survived Henry's best efforts - two came off 2nd best. The two vendors in question who didn't want to be named - claimed their product was the best around.

One of the vendor's products seemed to have severe issue with process memory allocation, which is evident when the Prince tried to get to his mother's personal web site from two different computers. In half an hour, the filtering server ran out of memory and crashed. A reboot fixed this but the server's blacklist had been severely corrupted and the vendor had to reinstall the server software again.

The other product totally failed. For a while it seemed totally bullet proof, that was until the filtering server crashed from overheating with the CPU dead. Apparently, the system had been running at 100% and had overheated. Later a software engineer for the vendor said it was due to excessive amount of process threads which started self-spawning copies of itself to cope with demand.

Kate Sallad of Naked News Jeruselem was also wandering around checking out the latest tech (clothed). One vendor got rather protective and tried to throw her out of his stall but he got evicted for violating the terms of Expo regarded the right of the public to freely evaluate products on offer. Later, the stall owner apologised thinking Kate Sallad was an ex-wife. Oddly, his ex-wife was at the expo - selling personal security devices. She was an ex-stripper and looked a lot like Kate Sallad.

Two Christians verbally abused the Prince in a rather noisy manner but his body guards pounced and threw them out. One tried to come back in and got tasered twice for his troubles. Charges will be laid against the two Christians.

Dancougar

27-03-2009, 03:23

Dancougar News!!
Piiiiittttt, you were supposed to not win!

Wings heartbroken by penalty shootout loss: Yuji Watanabe was always nice to have in a spot like this. But after 120 scoreless minutes, goalkeeper Luke Brengle was the weakest link. Six rounds were needed, but Jasiyun sent the Paripanian fans into a frenzy by advancing to the quarterfinals, 5-4 over the Wings.

"We gave ourselves every opportunity to win," said coach Shigeru Takeuchi. "We had their fans out of the game but we couldn't capitalize. And they had more left when it counted."

Brengle could only get a hand on the winning penalty, as it careened off his fingertips and in after midfielder Dwayne Landro missed the first shot of the sudden death phase.

Cafundeu

27-03-2009, 20:24

The reporters surrounded the coach David Nefasto after the game. The team failed to defeat Starblaydia in the Second Round of World Cup 45, and was eliminated. All the Cafundelenses were expecting a better result, although the opponent was the current champion. But that wasn't because they thought Cafundéu was better. No, they knew Starblaydia had a extremely good team. But they were hopeful and confident on the Monopolists' success. David Nefasto tried to dribble the media, but he couldn't avoid that. He was leaving the National Team, that was for sure, and there was still doubt if he'd continue working as a coach.

"So, Nefasto, your work in the National Team is over after this game?"

"Yes, but I saw that coming when the first half ended with the result of three against zero for them. You were in the seats with the clearest view of the stadium, you noticed that the team wasn't going to succeed, didn't you?"

"But in the second half we did a good job, although we continued behind during all the game..."

"Well, I've lived it ten times or more... good performance when it's nearly everything lost... when they scored the fourth goal and made the result four to two, I knew that the World Cup was out of bounds. I could field my mother, my dog and clowns that we wouldn't be able to make a different result, there was little time."

"Well, this cup was a saddening bore for us... we'll have to find some extra motivation for the next one... who do you think will be the new coach?"

"Don't know. CCFM's new friend is nowhere to be seen right now. They have time to make this decision."

"Cafundéu has passed through this situation many times, but the feeling now is clearly of disappointment, isn't it?"

"Yes. Well, we'll have to work hard to make this history different. In the next cup, the history will be about to be writ again... let's put a good ending on it. We just need to ask our players to focus more in the ultimate objective..."

"Do you think this team was a huge failure!"

"Never! Come on, we really had a good thing going."

"Who do you think will win this World Cup?"

"This World Cup is crazy! Drunken men fighting in the hotel hall... things can't be predicted here! Oh man, look at those cavemen go to the quarterfinals! It's the freakiest show!"

"Thanks."

And then the former coach of the Cafundelense team David Nefasto leaves the stadium, leaving his sunken dream... supporters are leaving the stadium at the same time, some are waving to the cameras, appearing in the television... we wonder if they'll ever know they're in the best selling show of Globo Multimedia, the World Cup. The CCFM directors refuse to comment about the team's loss, and they're probably already looking for changes in the team. The team now needs a new assistent coach, and will get some coach from the Cafundelense league... changes will be made.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

(OOC: this ends my participation here, with the last song references. In this post, there are 2 songs, although one has just a single reference. This brings to a total of 22. If you send me the names of all the 22 songs, you can put any person you want to in Cafundéu's NT staff, in one of the following positions: assistant coach, physical trainer, spy, entertainer or doctor. There are no limitations, I'll work to find an IC reason for signing the person [or animal, thing, alien, machine, mythical creature...] you chose. If you'd like to guess, write the name of each song and which WC review they were related to [match reports are part of a WC review]. In WC games, simply write which song was related to each game, something like this:

Qual:
WC32 - "song name"
WC33 - "song name"
WC34 - "song name", and so on

WC:
Game 1 - "song name", and so on

Don't forget that WC36 and 42 reviews have three song references each, and this post has 2 [game 4 of WC]. The one that gets all 22 right first or the one with most correct songs [if you don't know all, you can send all you know] at the end of next Thursday will win the prize.)

Bostopia

28-03-2009, 00:03

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.pngOnline

MAJOR POWER CUT STRIKES FORT BOSTON

Fort Bostonian women and children without power, warm houses, warm food

A major power cut has tonight struck Fort Boston, leaving vast areas of the capital without electricity. This has caused problems across the country, as the Government’s servers holding information vital to various Departments and the emergency services across the country are being forced to run on emergency power, slowing down the system. Of course, power supplies to the Fort Boston City Council Communications Centre are unaffected.

However, from the common Fort Bostonian right the way up the Emperor, power supplies are heavily affected, and the City Council along with Fort Boston State authorities are handing out portable generators along with other supplies. The Government however has come under criticism for not foreseeing an event that was almost impossible to foresee, as some of the portable generators that could have been used were sent to Pacitalia to help their citizens following a massive earthquake.

Water supplies are slowly coming back after the Ranton River Water Company managed to restore power to its pumping facilities upstream. Fortunately, there has not been a vast deal of rainfall upstream of the Ranton River, as Fort Boston’s flood-prevention systems are currently offline, which engineers are working on with great haste to bring back online.

Events this weekend, including the screening of the World Cup Quarter Final between Candelaria And Marquez and Bostopia are now at threat as any available power will be diverted toward hospitals and other vital buildings.

Astrologers Pleased

Astrologers though have flocked to Fort Boston, which is being proclaimed as being the darkest it’s ever been for centuries, in order to gain a greater understanding of what stars can be seen above the capital. It is widely accepted that when the street-lights are turned back on, some of the fainter stars will disappear from the night sky due to the glow emanating from the capital.

This does cause problems though, and Fort Boston City Council, in association with the Home Office – meeting in Port Flamerty – has declared martial law, in order to prevent any looting that may take place in the poorer areas of town which contain a high immigrant population.

The Army is currently patrolling the streets, and the Council is recommending that any citizens that need to travel should do so in a matter that could not be perceived as threatening, and should be prepared to stop at every junction, as traffic lights are currently offline. Any instructions from Army, City or the Emergency Services should be followed to the letter.

Jeruselem

28-03-2009, 17:05

Jeruselem Government News

Ryan Greenly retires, Jeru FC coach eyes off new job

Qazian Ryan Greenly announced his retirement from World Cup coaching. After 4 cups with Qazox, one with Jeru FC and 2 with Jeruselem - Ryan said he wanted to settle down and have job which didn't involve too much travel. He will become a consultant to the Jeruselem FA regarding football but will not be doing coaching for any teams.

The Jeru FC coach who has almost guided Jeru FC to the 2nd round but only to just miss out is interested in taking over. The Count said
"Well, I'd be a fool not try for the vacant Jeruselem job. I love Jeru FC apart from the lousy pay. I'm not getting any younger and I need to act to get a great job now. Unlike Ryan who's managed in 7 cups, I'm a rookie in comparison but my results with Jeru FC are good. Yes, we struggled to make finals but we almost made the 2nd round. I have a good relationship with the administration too. I hope I can get the job."

Celine Sadie Dallas may have retired and some Jeru FC players are keen to make a move to the other team. Kaye of the Jeru FC team said
"I want to play with Marie and the team. I'm a lousy army person ... but I want play football full-time and become famous. I've got dreams."

Elves Security Forces

28-03-2009, 22:30

Valanora Times
The Twisting Nether

Now that is more like the Valanora that we are used to seeing. After the first two matches of playing just to get the victory and securing our advancement, the Marauders have shown that beautiful side we are so used to in the past two matches. Against Rennidan it was the second side that would get the run out, needing just a draw to make sure that the Marauders finished on top of the group, and the only definite result that would make sure that the side was through to the Round of Sixteen. Perhaps Kuu decided to just let the side run out and do what they were soo used to, or perhaps it was his instructions to put the pressure down Rennidan's throat, whichever it was, it worked to perfection as the side had a three to nil lead at the break. Fresco once again was a beast when given his opportunity, netting a brace in that first half. First it came off the neat little through ball from club teammate Ricardinho that he was able to take in stride and then blast it underneath the keeper. The second showed off more of his all around game as he chested down a corner from Ricardinho, and chipped the keeper on the volley just before the end of the first half. Zadora would also get himself on the score sheet in the first half, being on the receiving end of some good give and go play between him and Underdark.

Some cracks were exposed in the second half, as Rennidan rallied back to even the scoreline at three in the eightieth minute. That's when va Drake and Hawk were brought on, and instantly combined to put a dagger in the hearts of the upstarts looking to play spoiler. Hawk would get played in by the Green Island winger, and would send one of those rocket of a shots past the outstreched keeper. Fresco would put the nail in the coffin by getting his hattrick in the eighty-eighth minute on a masterful piece of individual skill after dispossessing the centerback at midfield. The win gave them a perfect record in the group stage, but saw them be matched up with cohosts and former colony Demot in the Round of Sixteen.

Once again the Marauders would travel to Freestone and the beautiful new Thunderbluff stadium where they had done away with Candelaria And Marquez. Perhaps there is something about the majestic stadium that energizes the squad, as they came out from the beginning looking all the like of a three time champion winner, and well on their way to a record tying fourth. It was constant pressure on the Demotian backline, with only Theros keeping the Marauders from pulling away from the Dynamo early. For all his brilliance though, Theros was beaten not by some wicked wonder shot, but a simple tap in after Soldarian sent in a diagonal ball that arrived at the spot at the same time as Razov made his run and tapped it in. The goal seemed to put a frenzy into the Dynamo side and they would equalize within five minutes off the foot of their own world class striker in Julius Razov. The half time break would bring a welcome reprieve for both sides, and Kuu was looking like he was about to deliver some sort of speech to the lads and lasses in the dressing room.

Indeed, it must have been some sort of speech as the side came out of the dressing room just like at the beginning of the match, with a fire in their eyes, and a hunger that just seemed to be lacking from the hosts. It's sad that this is the way the Dynamo will be forever departing the World Cup scene, but if you are going to be disposed of on your own ground, it would be best to be fighting against the number one side in the world. Indeed, the overall difference in quality became evident in the second half and it was just a matter of time before any number of the Marauders' offensive stars was going to get the edge. On this day, it would be Razov who would get that goal that saw them through, but in truth, it was the effort of the entire midfield. Patiently and diligently passing to and fro, stretching out the shape of the Dynamo, until a seam was found and va Drake exploited it with the through ball, leaving Razov to easily chip it over the sliding Theros and placing the Marauders back in the ever familar territory of the Quarterfinals.

Standing in the way of the Marauders and another trip to the Semifinals is the ever familiar nation of Kura-Pelland. The last time these two nations met, it was in a third place playoff, where the Marauders reserve side just nicked a victory off the up and coming Pellandi. In all honesty, the Marauders are the clear and overwhelming favorites in the fixture, and an upset does not look like it is in the cards for the young Kura-Pelland side. It is just a surprise that they have even made it to this stage, surviving a group with Milchama and Vephrall before toppling Yafor II in the Round of Sixteen. If there is a single player that the squad needs to look out for, it's the young Nicolás Gaga, who played hero for the Pellandi against bitter rivals Vephrall in the group stage. His youth alone probably is the biggest threat here, as he is not mature enough to know that they are supposed to be beaten on this stage, making him all the more dangerous. In the end, the twisting fortunes of the World Cup may shine their line on him and his side, but I suspect that even so, it will not be enough to topple the Marauders, who are looking to once again claim that coveted trophy.

Article by Lairilthor Celethaneth

Candelaria And Marquez

28-03-2009, 22:50

“…nd Optina can get on the end of this, a sharp shotttt….!”

“Ooh!”

“ASTONISHING save from Sbaïz, it remains three-all here in Mirria, just an extraordinary… What a way to get the second round underway, as Amey just loses the ball there, but Zec will clear… Well, the neutrals are definitely in for a treat if the other seven games are like this one, but it looks like we’ve got another half an hour to savour… Unless Fool-for-Christ can find a way through here…”

“Poor pass, as it turns out, but the Archregimancy are definitely in the ascendancy now, John.”

“You’re not wrong John, although it’s getting pretty scrappy from both parties right now, they’ve run themselves to a stand-still… Er, story of the match, then, if you are just joining us late –”

“Foooolish person.”

“Foooolish, indeed. Certainly a superb start from C&M, Solovetsky forced into a double save by David Spooner, before Aaron Kortsarian slammed the ball into the back of the net with a scream of ‘This is where you can stick yer Creed of Chalcedon!!!’”

“Memorable moment, that.”

“It was, and the Group A winners remained well under the cosh for quite some time, despite arguably legitimate complaints… As Amey goes down under a challenge from Borisoglebsky, don’t think he’s going to be too badly hurt, there…”

“Can’t afford another injury after Vavasour went off, can we?”

“We really can’t, but it looks like he’ll be fine… Just walking it off, there. Yes, so, complaints over Candelariasian rough-housing, with Spooner carded for knocking Euphrosynus of Troitse-Sergiyeva’s hat off…”

“A nice blast from the past those caps, aren’t they? It’s a shame the tradition died out, really.”

“Impractical in blustery conditions, though. Spooner has another shot on goal as we speak, goes well wide… Is Dannat going to throw on Smith for the extra thirty, would you say?”

“Yeah, although Spooner’s impressed me this match, I have to say. Hasn’t got his goal, but looks the more potent threat… Lovely strike from Ibadulla, though.”

“Yes, and he’s been quiet since his powerful finish, reminiscent of the Fall of Constantinople according to my crib sheet of dubious religious references, on the half-hour returned the lead to C&M; and that might well have been it, but Ooh, they’re dogged this lot, equalised a second time through Vladmir early in the second half, but… Optina testing Sbaïz again there, nothing for the Cadmer man to worry about… But again C&M took the lead, Niv Cohen storming down the right, cutting Gleb’s throat with a kitchen knife, pu–”

“Eh?”

“Did him up like a kipper, John. Pulled it back for Spooner, nice little one-two, and it was a simple matter for Cohen to finish. But, since, Optina equalised for a third time, it’s really been, what, eighty percent in the Archregimancy’s favour?”

“I’d say so… Barely a minute of the ninety left, stray pass from Glebsbrother, there…”

“Aye, and Kortsarian can make the most of that, wide on the left, he can cross… no he won’t, little dummy finds Zec, finds Amey, AMEEEEEEEEYYYY!!!!!!!”

“GWAAAAAN!!!”

“GO ON, YEH GOOD THING!”

“Get in, Lawrence!”

“¡Magnífico, Lorenzo! ¡Fabuloso! ¡Maravilloso!”

“Still a bloody curly-haired turncoat…”

“I’m sure we can put out club loyalties to one side for a moment, Lauren, at a time like this…”

“He moved from Caires Sports to Caires City! You just don’t do that! As a season-ticket holder at the Dome, I –”

“Put a sock in it Lozza… Oof!”

“Oh Christ, they’ve got a corner now… I can’t watch this…”

“…bson will take this, surely the last attack of the game, here comes the in-swinger… And it’s LOPULALAN, well out of trouble and THERE’S YOUR FINAL WHISTLE! And it’s Candelaria And Marquez, would you believe it, li’l old us, through to the quarter-finals for the second ever time, Elgin Dannat has pulled this one utterly out of nowhere, Bostopia or Milchama await, but Candelaria And Marquez are the first side through to the last eight! Extraordinary stuff, an–”

“Excellent… Can everyone please sit down now and let us get on with this? Vicky, get down off the table, woman! What kind of example do you think this would set?”

“A bloody good one to some of our less patriotic citizens, I should think,” Vice-President Carlos Obiols grumbled, but he helped Minister for Culture and the Media Vicky Cave down from her vantage point and had the decency to join his fellow cabinet members in looking sheepish.

President Morton sighed. “If we can get back to the matters at hand, now? Although on that point – Robert, I take it another few days in Demot won’t be any great hardship for the M.O.R.T. to handle?”

Robert Clitheroe, Junior Minister for Remedial Teaching, blushed. “I should think it’ll be fine… We’ve already had a handful of men scouting Skyhaven for suitably anodyne locales for the Candelariasian presence, just in case. Although… Again, I must stress, it’s the Minister herself who’d have a better idea of this sort of thing than I do…”

“Unfortunately, Robert, we have to accept the increasing likelihood that Jenny won’t be returning from… wherever, anytime soon. Possibly ever. Moving on, I –”

“That’s a little callous, isn’t it?” Secretary of State for Finance and the Economy Parkinson Tanter frowned. “I know Remedial Teaching ministers seldom have a long shelf-life, but still… Shouldn’t we be attempting to find her a little more energetically? Especially after what happened to her son, she could have gone and done anything, poor girl…”

“The matter’s in hand, Park, I can assure you. If we could have a natter about the blasted Rushmori agricultural subsidies and th–”

“That’s it? We get the brush-off like we’re kids who can’t handle the truth?”

“Tate, we’re dealing with it… And I’m sure Robert will do a perfectly good job until…”

“Until he pops his clogs as well?” Tate Sayfritz, Foreign Secretary and leader of the Conservative Party asked cheerfully. Clitheroe turned a pleasing shade of chartreuse.

“Any road up, the Chesapeakine Premier has suggested that… Yes?”

A secretary inched into the cabinet office and hovered nervously. “Um… Sorry, ma’am, but we have a bit of a problem… It’s about Gordon Bay City…”

***

Earlier…

Sukie had never been clapped in irons before, having never been that bored of a Friday night, and strictly speaking this wasn’t the case on this occasion either. But she certainly felt like that, as the one called Aino – or Aino, if we wanted to get technical – dragged her along the sewage pipe. They certainly had a magical way about them, these faeries – Sukie knew that she could easily struggle out of the creature’s grasp without great physical exertion, but somehow she found herself not wanting to. It was as if the general consensus was that she was stuck in his clutches, and key parts of her mind and body seemed unwilling to raise their heads above the parapet of public opinion.

Not that it would have made a blind bit of difference, of course. There was nowhere to run, the pipes full to bursting with faeries armed to the teeth with… themselves, ultimately. And teeth. Quite a toothy people, Sukie felt. Attractive, generally, but toothy.

The one called Leohi strode on at the head of the throng, apparently oblivious to the stench – and unique, in that department, with most of her colleagues clearly suffering since departing their realm/abode/domain for the long, and deeply unhygienic, march to freedom. Or world domination, or whatever they had planned.

“What time is it?” Sukie heard the woman hiss towards a random underling.

“About half past five,” the pathologist muttered absently after automatically checking her wristwatch and hating herself for it.

“Then we had best quicken our pace,” Leohi commented tersely, the massed ranks of the faeries instantly following her request, and the human women soon forced to run to avoid a less-than graceful flop into the congealed grimness under foot.

Sukie risked a glance back as the leading faeries reached a handy manhole cover, but the sound of clomping feet winding way back down the pipe was enough to confirm that the Kolan were here in numbers. Hundreds? Thousands?

“Oh, but this is just the start,” Leohi smiled as if reading her thoughts. “Once the rest of our people have grasped the enormity of my vision, they will rather die than spend another day away from ‘Candelaria’… Away from the light…”

At this, Leohi grasped a rung leading to the surface, and Sukie and the Minister were soon forced up the ladder and out into the dark, cold street.

But not an empty street. More faeries ploughed up through the hole behind them, but they were met by guns, and stern men in berets. Leohi herself seemed unimpressed, and gestured towards an officer in the process of barking orders into his lapel.

“Major… Perhaps you’d like to stop that. Thank you. You’ve spread your men rather thinly, don’t you think? Covering every possible opening to the surface but leaving an insufficient force around each? A beginner’s mistake. No doubt the ‘Candelariasian’ people are most thankful that they haven’t been at war for half a century, if you’re the best of the best… How embarrassing. Now sleep, please.”

The transfixed soldier slumped towards the tarmac below almost instantly, along with a further handful of his colleagues, but several more seemed less susceptible. A young Corporal cleared his throat.

“Ma’am… I must ask you nicely to return from whence you came. I’m under direct orders from the President th-that your people must not be allowed to… I…”

“I find that deeply unlikely, dear. Roberta Morton does not strike me as a woman to question the will of the Kolan. We do what we want, child, we always have. You are in no position to make demands of any of us.”

“I’m sorry, b-but you really have to leave! You’re not welcome here, I, I…”

“Have you any conception of what we are?! Gordon Bay City is mi… ours! I say it is thus, thus it is thus! And you are not welcome here!”

The corporal raised his weapon, which wasn’t, on the whole, a particularly clever move. Leohi raised hers. The soldiers froze at the sight of her hand turning gently in the evening air, and suddenly began to feel curiously itchy.

Jenny Harris watched in horror as the men fell to the ground, clutching at their throats and gasping in sheer agony. She wasn’t the only one, a small unit of soldiers coming to a halt further down the street and coming into contact with the staring eyes of a hundred faeries.

“RUN!” Leohi screamed at the nervous figures, “Run, and do not stop running until you have left my city for good! And tell all those who you see to fear for their meagre existences, men-with-guns! Gordon Bay City is the property of the KOLAN!”

They did as they were told, and it wasn’t cowardice, Jenny knew. Nor even the stray few comments from their seniors over the years suddenly made flesh, or the sight of half of a dozen of their mates lying dead, unconscious or sobbing on the street. There was simply no other option.

“Er, Leohi…?”

Jenny frowned. His was the first Kolani voice she had heard, she realised, apart from Leohi herself. The accent was the same, but Aino – as he detached himself from Sukie’s side and wandered over to the ‘Queen’ – seemed hesitant, and as nervous of Leohi as anyone.

“Yes, Aino?”

“Only, I thought we were going to capture all of the ‘Candelarias’? Not just… teach the humans a lesson. One battered town doesn’t seem like much…”

He blushed, seemingly left stunned by his own boldness. The woman declined to turn and face him, a hundred faeries watching her back in a hush silence.

“From such acorns, Aino…”

“What are ‘acorns’, sister?”

“In time, this land shall be ours once more. Did I not promise you this? We must build our strength, Aino, plan our time wisely. We cannot underestimate the stubborn will of the chattel, nor fail to take full head of our new domain, nor –”

Jenny felt a furious tugging on her arm, and glanced towards Sukie’s meaningful expression. The other woman was inching away, sliding as carefully as she could manage through the disinterested rows of faeries. Jenny did the same, bumping into one or two who remained oblivious to her presence.

“Now that’s one public speaker,” Sukie whispered, impressed, as they dived into an ally free of non-humans. “She’s bound to turn around sooner or later however, and then we’ll be for it, so I suggest we get moving. Like, now? Jen?”

“I can’t just leave! What if Josh is with any of those back down in the pipe, or is on his way? There’s no reason why they’d leave him back in that… place. If I stay, I might be able t–”

“You’ll be no good to anyone if you end up like ‘our brave boys’ over there!”

“If they wanted us dead, they could’ve killed us hours ago!”

“Jen, does that witch strike you as the sort of person who can be counted upon to not change her mind at a moments notice? We can go, now, Jenny… We’ll get Joshua back, I promise you! And by God, we’ll make them pay!”

“I… Fine. Fine. You know a quick way out of here, then? On foot?”

“Google Street View rocks yer socks, Jenny, and I have very little in the way of a social life. Take your first left, and Jen?”

“Mm?”

“For heaven’s sake, run…”

***

“…illed them just by looking at them! So Major Davis says, anyway. He says they’re in the process of establishing a perimeter around GBC, and anyone left inside looks as though they’re stuck. We’ve managed to evacuate the odd pub, but the game’s been over for hours now, everyone’s back home! There has to be twenty thousand people still trapped there!”

“Sorry, when you say ‘establishing a perimeter’…? This is elves we’re talking about?”

“Faeries, Mr Sayfritz.”

“None the less… Doesn’t sound very elfy behaviour, does it?”

“What would characterise ‘elfy behaviour’, Tate? This is the real world we’re dealing with, and these younger ones seems less than predictable in any case. Their demands have changed, clearly. Have we actually received any, Corporal?”

“No. Just that Gordon Bay City belongs to her… well, Them, and that we’d best keep our distance. They’ve given no indication that they plan to expand their territory further, but they don’t seem to have the slightest interest in talking to us either.”

“Or they could just be letting us stew for a while. ‘Youngsters’ or otherwise, they’re clearly arch-manipulators.”

President Morton nodded. “Quite. What we do know is that this isn’t just a test, this isn’t the way they act… I can’t be certain whether they’re acting with the full assent of the elders or not, or whether there’s been some decisive shift in the balance of power, but… It seems clear to me that the status quo has changed forever wouldn’t you say?”

“I would point out, Robyn, that this wouldn’t be the first time,” Chief Cabinet Minister Tomer Waterson volunteered. “They’ve changed their policy towards us, or at least Their instructions to us, more than once over the years. Look what happened while Anderson was President – the adoption of time dilation technology made radical differences to every aspect of our lives! I don’t think there’s any need to panic just yet…”

“Who’s panicking?” Tate Sayfritz, the Foreign Secretary, commented archly. “We’re simply being realistic. Even if They’re not planning their imminent invasion of Albrecht as we speak, the President’s quite correct. Everything’s changed. I assume we’ll begin a process aimed at divulging all germane information to the general public within the next few hours?”

“Whatever for?”

“Oh, do I really need to spell it out? The covenant’s broken, Morton! We kept up our end of the bargain, to the letter, for decades… But They shattered it the second they stepped on Candelariasian soil, the second they… did whatever they did to our soldiers! It’s over. We should ready every unit we have, pull everyone back from the Timonian Demilitarized Zone, an–”

“Go in there all guns blazing? Gosh, what an unexpected response, Tate.”

The corporal coughed. “Even if that were desirable, sirs, ma’am, the city appears to be surrounded by some manner of forcefield… Evacuees have tried going back in for beloved family pets, elderly relatives, blu-ray DVD recorders, that sort of thing; but they’re… not being able to, to put it bluntly. People’re coming out, but no-one’s getting back in, it’s impenetrable. And even that state of affairs looks like it’s going to end once the… the…”

“Faeries, corporal.”

“Enemy, ma’am, have finished… um… doing a chalk outline around the city.”

“A chalk outline?”

“It’s keeping everyone out so far, sir.”

“Fine. Whatever. I still say we should have them surrounded, and easy access to Albrecht cut off ASAP.”

“Should we really risk provoking them, Tate?”

“Mckenna, I think they should be more concerned about provoking us. And you’re in agreement, Terence?”

The Secretary of State for National Security nodded sadly. “Pretty much, I’m afraid. We haven’t tried meeting them on mass yet, it might well be a different story to the engagements thus far. Equally however, isn’t this the perfect opportunity to tell people?”

“That’s what I said.”

“I think Terry and our Tory friend are right, Robyn,” Education Secretary Mckenna Newton told her. “I know it seems like a huge decision, after all this time, but… What choice do we have? We can’t cover this up!”

“Keep back the whole ‘faeries’ thing, I’ll grant you. For the time being, at any rate. But they need to know that there’s been an invasion, of sorts, that we need to be on a war footing, that everyone needs to pull together to… Robyn? And there’s Green Island to think about as well, we might be fighting on two fronts at this rate! We can’t expect people to just ignore this…”

Morton blew out slowly, and shook her head. “No. We haven’t reached that stage yet. Corporal, are phone lines and the internet and whatever else still working inside the town?”

“For now, yes.”

“And are there any reports of civilian casualties?”

“The M.O.R.T.’s been broadcasting the standard FOR FUCK’S SAKE STAY INDOORS message on most TV and radio stations for the past half hour, I believe, but those residents who are at large and haven’t fled yet appear to be unmolested for the moment.”

“This is inane, we can’t assume that they plan to be benevolent dictators! If any single Candelariasian citizens is killed by those creatures, it’ll be a–”

“An acceptable loss, in the context of maintaining a wider peace. We need time, Mr Sayfritz, there are ways and means of contacting the elders for a start. We need to know where we stand… You’re sure that people are heeding the warning, corporal?”

“More or less. Plus, TV1’s still showing the highlights from the Archregimancy game, so…”

“God bless seven-goal thrillers…”

“And there’s the Sorthern Northland versus the Han game coming up in a bit, so…”

“God bless failed immigration policies of previous administrations. What d’you suggest we do now then, Missus President?”

“Bird flu!”

“Eh?”

Reuben Victoria Cobbald, the Minister for Climate and Energy Policy, giggled nervously. “People are scared enough of swans as it is, so… Let’s say there’s been a serious outbreak and quarantine Gordon Bay City. We could do Green Island while we’re at it, kill two birds with one stone. Airdrop in essential goods, if needs be, make sure everyone else there stays indoors… We might even avoid most of the residents of GBC finding out about the real situation, never mind everyone else! And it wouldn’t be too much trouble to monitor all contact between either side of the… border, if you want, for a week or two, would it? Divert a whole bunch of civil servants from some of the minor ministries to the M.O.R.T., and people need never find out!”

“Assuming we can contact these ‘elders’ and assuming they actually want to reign in their boisterous youngsters currently terrorising one of our cities?”

“Even if we can’t, Tate, we could still blanket-bomb the place if we have to,” Cobbald insisted earnestly. The cabinet stared at her. She grinned weakly. “Bird flu is a serious concern in our rural communities, y’know…”

“We’ll put blanket-bombing on the back-burner for now, but… Bird flu it is. Corporal, make sure we step up every effort to get into contact with the faerie’s leader, but don’t whatever you do engage them in combat unless strictly necessary! I’ll see what I can do about contacting their mummies and daddies. The rest of you, organise the great quarantine and the monitoring of all data in and out. Any objections?”

“Plenty, but… So much for consensus government, eh?”

“Excellent. Let’s get to work then, everyone. They’re not going to turn this country into a warzone however much they try. I’m just not going to let Them…”

Demot

28-03-2009, 23:40

Quarterfinal Results - SLANI Region (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14642688&postcount=28)

New Manhattan

29-03-2009, 00:23

Quarterfinal results — Demot region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14642791&postcount=29)

Bostopia

29-03-2009, 00:58

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.png

BOSTOPIA OUT OF WORLD CUP, OUT OF INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL

Double Trauma For Already Heartbroken Fans

Fans coming out of the darkness of Fort Boston today stepped in a totally new one – devoid of international footballing competitions

As the power blackouts that dominated Fort Boston over the past day gradually subsided with the restoration of working order to power stations across the State, a curtain was drawn across the lives of many of Bostopia's inhabitants. The Football Association decision announced yesterday morning that they are pulling the Bostopian national team out of international competition for “the foreseeable future” was met with shock and anger across the nation.

Fans already mourning the exit of Bostopia from the World Cup in Demot & Capitalizt SLANI at the Quarter-Final stage in a 3 – 2 loss to Candelaria And Marquez had to suffer another crushing blow as the FA, shortly followed by the Empirical Football Association pulled their respective teams out of qualifying for the next World Cup, before hosts had even been voted on or qualifying groups drawn.

This is unlikely to increase the Home Isles popularity across the Empire, who's inhabitants are likely to see it as Bostopia cutting their losses after earlier embarrassment, qualifying after the Empire, and also ending up with the worst Won-Drew-Lost record out of the two.

Fans on the street in Fort Boston Plaza spoke to us. “It's a disgrace, Bostopia fall again at a hurdle and they decide, like that, to pull out? The FA are just looking at their own coffers and deciding the travel expenses aren't worth their money. Well, it's the fans money, and the whole game will suffer, let alone our standing internationally!” However, another fan disagreed. “Let's look at the facts. We're one of those middle of the way teams who somehow managed to come good, but interest has been declining since World Cup 43. A lot of fans had a misguided belief that that was 'our cup', and going out knocked us all back, and some so far back they completely lost interest. It's nothing to do with who we went out to, it's the fact we got our hopes up too high and every time we think we're getting somewhere since and we may just do it, they take a further knock. The journalism's gotten worse, like they're running out of ideas of what to write, and it's rubbing off onto other areas of sports coverage. Perhaps pulling out for a while will give them time to take a break and have that drive back which we appear to have lost.”

(ooc: this is OOC and IC)

Starblaydia

29-03-2009, 20:48

He'd somehow almost known it would come to this, but all he could do was stand in the dug-out and stare. He looked across at his counterpart, Leandro Perheira, who was also not-sitting on the opposing bench a few yards away. The Starblaydia number two was covering his mouth with his hands, obviously nervous, not a man accustomed to a penalty shoot-out. Simeone had gone through them himself more than a few times in his career, and knew that, for once, there was absolutely nothing he could do. All it amounted to now was luck and a modicum of skill. The luck, when it came, wasn't specifically in Mug-Ug's favour, but it was certainly to Otarion Fanorin's misfortune.

Wide, the elven striker placed the ball trying to keep it just inside the post and beyond the reach of the caveman goalkeeper, in a rather spiffing green set of furs. Mug-Ug had dived the right way, but Fanorin had put it wide. Starblaydia's fifth penalty had missed and Simeone had never before wanted a Starblaydi national team goalkeeper to concede a goal more in his entire life, not to mention death.

It was Ug-Ug, it just had to be. There are many schools of thought with penalty taking: just hit it as hard as you can is the first and easiest, which he and Juan tried to impress upon their charges. You can fool around with placing the so-called best penalty takers in first, third, fourth or fifth position, but the aim remains the same - put it in the back of the net. 'If you're ever unsure of what to do when you have the ball in the penalty area', Simeone once heard, probably from fiction, 'put it in the net and we'll discuss the options later'. That had made him chuckle, as it made the simple, which seemed complex, seem simple. That was always the best way.

So, as Dacil Taniquentar stood in the centre of the goalmouth, he was one of two oases of calm on the lush green pitch. Tall and broad, for an elf, he was serene and god-like in his goalmouth, despite having conceded two goals in the two hours, followed by all four penalties in quick succession. By his demeanour you'd imagine he'd never conceded a goal in his near ten thousand-year life, but Ug-Ug wouldn't have cared. He probably would have noticed, but simply not cared. There was a (cave)man who simply saw what he wanted to see. Why would that be? Probably for a complex set of reasons that were, ultimately, simple.

The elf stood there in an immaculate dark-green kit with parts of white and purple, while the man placed the ball and watched the elf through narrowed eyes. He took two steps back and waited with his hands by his sides. So many others stood their with their hands on their hips so they wouldn't betray a nervous trait, but Ug-Ug just stood there. The referee blew the whistle and the Frostican captain stepped forward. Just like the occasions when he'd played his former home before, all the spare cameras were on Simeone. The smile was unmistakeable, as was the manic leaping celebrations of Juan Tzimisces beside him, but for Simeone it was a combination of many and varied complex thoughts going through his mind.

Though, in the end, they were really the simplest of thoughts.

Jeruselem

30-03-2009, 05:55

Ryan Greenly with a young girl and microphone ...

Girl: Hello, I'm Lilian Dazza Greenly! I'm reporting for Jeruselem Government News. I'm with Ryan Greenly.
Ryan: I'd just like to say I'm not related to Lilian. She's not related to Dazza either.
Girl: Actually, my mother is Qazian. We could be related there.
Ryan: Oh well, but I don't think so.

Girl: I'd like to be related.
Ryan: I'm sure you would Lilian.
Girl: First thing, how is the family?
Ryan: We're fine. To be honest, Marie does most of the work. But she wants to as well.

Girl: So, what's this new job you are doing?
Ryan: I provide advice to people who ask for it.
Girl: Who are your clients?
Ryan: Anyone football related as long as they have money to pay me.

Girl: So who's going to be your main customers?
Ryan: I think the Jeruselem FA and the Jeruselem Premier League clubs as well as Qazians.
Girl: Will you be doing a lot travelling?
Ryan: I'll work from home as much as possible. I'm growing old and travel is getting harder to manage these days.

Girl: Any interesting current projects?
Ryan: A girl's school wants to upgrade it's facilities. I'm telling when what they need to become an A-grade football school. They have money and lots of it.
Girl: Do you have any suggestions who should be the next Jeruselem coach?
Ryan: Not really, it's not my job. They can pay me for advice if they ask.

Girl: You think the current Jeru FC can do a good job?
Ryan: Yes, he's definitely a contender. He's done well with Jeru FC and really unlucky with not making the 2nd round at the World Cup.
Girl: What about coaching for other teams, are you going to any of that?
Ryan: No, my time as a coach is over. Let the younger generation take over.

Girl: Some think we should hire someone from Starblaydia, what do you think?
Ryan: I think it's a good idea but my wife wouldn't like it.
Girl: What about another Qazian?
Ryan: She likes Qazians, but she's not too fussy who she sleeps with either. As for me, I don't care where the coach comes from if he, she or it can perform.

Girl: Thanks for time Ryan.
Ryan: No problems Dazza ... Lilian.
Girl: I'm sure we're related
Ryan: You remind me of my aunt for some reason.

Candelaria And Marquez

30-03-2009, 18:28

“…nd Amey will try and find Spooner, but his path’s blocked by Littler… Superb control from Littler and he can drive forward once more into the box… And well cleared by O’Brien, but Littler’s definitely coming back into the game, John.”

“Aye, he’s certainly pulling the strings for Bostopia at the moment, John. Such a bright prospect, this lad.”

“This team, we should stress, with an average age of just eighteen… We’re just seeing Charlie Humber, the goalscorer, receiving treatment here, and that’ll be a worry for Bostopia, John.”

“Very much so, John, they need a goal from somewhere, can’t see it coming from Larnsworth. But Humber’s really impressed me today, there’s going to be a great many scouts drawling over this lot, I can tell you.”

“Yes, KT Hotspur manager Karl Matthews up in the stands there, casting a beady eye over his countrymen. Very much a team that can lead Bostopia to glory for a decade to come, I should think, but for now the key statistics have the Big Blues through to a high implausible semi-final place… as Humber does walk off, that’s a major blow for Graham Partland. Chris Linning will replace him, and Littler aside it really is boys against men out here… As Kortsarian gets back on the ball, as the Candelariasians here in Skyhaven rising to their feet in expectation… Can’t find a way through Culshaw this time, but what a cup the Cafundó do Juta man is having! His fourth goal of the tournament finals giving C&M their tender two-one lead as it stands, looking to join the Sortherners in the last four, as LINNING WILL HAVE A GO!”

A collective ooh went up as the substitute’s volley rebounded off Joel Sbaïz’s left post and was safely kicked into touch by Gwynfardd Lopulalan. Julia Harris, hunched on the carpet half a metre away from the screen, a battered Peter Vanderpent replica shirt stretched to huddle around her knees, put her hands over her eyes.

“Gosh… We’re really holding on by the skin of our teeth now, aren’t we?” President Morton commented weakly.

Jenny sighed. “I’m sorry about this,” she said in a half-whisper, “But she insisted on watching it, and we’re damned if we’re going to let them have tellies in their bedrooms, and…”

“That’s quite alright, Jenny. This is just an informal little get-together, after all.”

“Oh, yes. Everyone need a coffee morning, now and then. Do you think we should invite the armed guards posted outside my front door in for a brew?”

Morton swerved the sarcasm and glanced at her notes. “So, er… You were saying about Mark Baker’s sister…?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Saved by Leohi at Gordon Bay, I get the impression that the faerie queen, or whatever she is, was just a child herself then. In their terms, anyway, that might mean anything. Hundreds of years old already, possibly. Anyway, she’s hideously disfigured and exists in an apparently symbiotic relationship with a Time Dilation Device, has done for the past couple of years at least, where she appears to have a massive influence in pushing football-related activities backwards through time in the hope of eventually setting up the circumstances by which the match during World Cup Thirty-Six qualifying against Az-cz coincides with the Gordon Bay disaster of 1968 and thereby, apparently, causing the course of history to change dramatically to the effect that Candelaria And Marquez comes to understand and embrace the existence of non-human sentience and beginning many centuries of glorious co-existence with our faerie friends and, presumably, any number of other species.”

“Oh.”

“She’s apparently been supported in that by the Kolan’s elders, but a power struggle between the generations within the Kolan’s hidden realm appears to have challenged the consensus on both their dealings with the human race and Debbie Baker’s entire project. Whether she’s still dilating over there I couldn’t guess, although I’m assuming so, given that we experienced a nice long gap between the Archregimancy and Bostopia games.”

“Yes, well…”

“Of course, we have our own TDD at the Ministry, which clearly can’t operate so effectively on its own but is still doing its swivelly business, according to my ol’ buddies down there.”

“Well that’s a relief…”

“As for what role Leohi herself claims among the Kolan, I’m not at all certain. They’re in awe of her, certainly. The younger ones, anyway. And as for whether she plans to expand her earthly domain beyond the borders of GBC, and what she plans to do with the remaining locals, and where all the little blonde children they’ve stolen over the years actually are now, I really couldn’t hazard a guess, Robyn. Have you spoken to the elders yet?”

Morton blinked, and grabbed hold of a table leg for support. “Um, no. Well, yes, but… The fact is, Jenny, you may have noticed we don’t have an especially equal relationship with the Kolan. It’s been that way for generations. Our generations, at any rate. They tell us how to keep our people largely ignorant of the world around them, even give us handy tips on how to, and we follow orders. I don’t think any President, or Prime Minister before them, has actually had a natter with Them face-to-face. Not for any length of time, anyway. Textbook elusive, your basic faerie. Point is, they get in contact with us, not the other way around. I’ve tried, but… If They’re still alive, Jenny, or in any position of power over there… They’re certainly not in the mood to talk to the likes of me. But then, neither’s Queen Leohi of Gordon Bay City, come to that.”

They stared blankly at the television for a while as Sbaïz narrowly tipped over another Linning effort.

“Well. Haven’t we been busy chickens the last few days?” Jenny said grimly. “I suppose I should be getting back to the Ministry soonish, yes? Lots to oversee, now that we’re trying to stop an entire town finding out that it’s been annexed by an army of wee folk. Never mind the rest of the country, of course. And there’s Green Island to worry about. All those tourists over for the Grand Prix, too. Plus our usual operations, of course. I hear the giant toad’s back in Thompsontown…”

“I’m sure the M.O.R.T. will open you back with open arms, Jenny. As soon as you feel ready… to… return…”

“…ly just inside the area, but that’s got to be a penalty, surely! What’s Plomaker given heIT’S A PEN! And a red card as well for Burrows, and C&M… Well. We stand on the brink here, if Abdul Ibadulla can put away his second of the game and make it three-one… Christ, I’m tense… And he’s steps up, AND HE DOES! And it’s three-one, and the Big Blues, incredibly, have one foot firmly in the World Cup semi-finals!”

“Crikey,” the President breathed, “We might actually win this…”

Julia reseated herself after an impromptu jig of delight. Morton attempted her smiling-at-small-children face.

“You’re quite the football fan then, poppet?”

“’s.”

“And, er, who do you support?”

“Abct Tksh,” the girl replied absently, her eyes firmly fixed at the screen as Linning and Larnworth kicked off once more.

“Oh… Didn’t that Vanderpent chap play for Albrecht FC, though?”

“It’s Joshua’s,” Jenny answered quietly. “Robyn, shall we toddle back in the other room, continue our informal get-together in peace?”

Morton opened her mouth to reply before the slamming of a distant door caused her to raise an eyebrow in the Minister’s direction instead.

“That’ll just be Steve… He’s been out searching again, I think. Knows it’s pointless, but… makes him feel better. Well, he can watch Julia now, so I’ll just nip down to the Ministry, shall I? Get that damn thing shut down. One of our security fellows can show the way out, I’m sure…”

She was already across the living room and halfway out the front door before the President caught up with her. “‘Shut down’?”

“Our Device. It was there as part of the mad plans of our overlords, wasn’t it? No longer serves a purpose, can only be damaging, so… We’d best be getting rid of it, no?”

“But… That would mean that playing international football would effectively be impossible!”

“I suppose so. And?”

“Jenny,” Morton opined, dragging the woman back into the room as the television blazed on, “Look at those people! How many thousands of supporters d’you reckon we have at… whatever that stadium is called?”

“Skyvn Citdel.”

“Thank you. How many millions back home? There are so many people in this country for whom this just the greatest moment of their lives! And that’s our fault, we’ve encouraged this obsession with this ridiculous sport! Well I’m not going to do it! I might go down in the history as the President who led us closer than ever to our utter destruction at the hands of those creatures, but I’m damn well not going to be the one who shattered a whole nation’s dreams! The Device stays on regardless, Jenny, and so does the soccer. For now.”

The Minister bit her lip. “Fine. It’s your call. I should go anyway, there’ll be so much to oversee, an–”

“…INNING! Fantastic strike from Chris Linning, and suddenly, with barely eight thrilling minutes of normal time remaining, it’s C&M three Bostopia two, and it’s all to play for, John!”

The President of Candelaria And Marquez and the Minister for Remedial Teaching glanced at each other, nodded in unspoken agreement, and took their places on the carpet next to Julia. The utter destruction of the nation might’ve been just around the corner, but eight thrilling minutes was eight thrilling minutes.

Plus injury time, obviously.

***

The Albrecht Herald Online Global Edition>Sport>WC45>In Brief
Candelarias preparing for bash of the decade as soccer stars gear up for Eesseffian nightmare
By Morgan Fattori

In making the last four of the World Cup, Elgin Dannat and his Candelaria And Marquez squad have already assured immortality in the country’s sporting annals. When the year’s baby name lists are published early next January, it is all but guaranteed that the usual rash of Jacks, Joshuas and Reubens will be forced to play second fiddle to a new generation of Joels, Gwynfardds and God’s Powers. Every other Marquezian baby boy will be an Enrique, every Northlandish Candelariasian who isn’t a Lee or a Hyi-san will be an Eric. It may only be one stage better than Kris Healy achieved back at World Cup 42 but, in securing a third-place play-off tilt at worse, this latest group have finally forced C&M well and truly into football’s elite. Regardless of events tomorrow night in Freestone, the Ten-Cup Plan is complete. God know how, but we’re there.

And don’t you just know it? With saturation coverage across all media outlets, and the ol’ blue-and-green flying from every vehicle and draped from every window, there really is only one show in town. How many Candelariasian have actually noticed that most of Green Island is effectively marooned from the rest of the country, or that the outskirts of Gordon Bay City is tonight patrolled by armed guards? But this particularly virulent strain of bird flu isn’t about to put a dampener on things. As utterly artificial and downright perverse as the whole business of football might be, the sport stands alone in its ability to pull the country together under one banner. The first XI – with its Jewish captain, Muslim vice-captain, Hispanic defensive hero and curiously-named black full-back – have emerged as the gallant symbols that encapsulate the post-12/5 C&M.

They’re going to get all kinds of girls.

Some over-confident individuals, along with more than a few fans from Irish Street to Clotaire and everywhere in between, have already begun to look ahead to the Holmes Stadium date, and the dream final against Sorthern Northland. For the most part however, there exists a heady air of realism as the nation scratches its collective head and ponders the previously imponderable. How on Earth do we beat the number one side in the world, for the first time in eight meetings? A jammy goalless draw and penalties aside, naturally.

One thing’s guaranteed: the 4-5-1 favoured on previous meetings – including that barely a fortnight ago – is out the window. With Harvey Vavasour the only injury concern, Dannat looks set to name a side unchanged from the eleven that took on Bostopia. C&M looked confident enough against the fifth-best side in the world, after all. The late wobble against ten men aside, and yellow cards that put both Lopulalan and Ben Zec within a mistimed foul of missing a potential final; the curious edifice that is the Skyhaven Citadal witnessed one of the Big Blues’ finest performances of all times. This group hit upon by Dannat are nothing if not confident right now, and besides – if Jeru FC and Jaseuyeon could beat the Eesseff playing attacking football, then why shouldn’t we? Goals will be conceded by Joel Sbaïz – the only question is whether ebullient breaks and moments of natural brilliance will prove enough to test Amarian Tinehtelë once too often.

But walk around any city or village in the country today, and the message is clear – they’re our heroes regardless. The spine of this team has been as impressive as any at this Cup, with Sbaïz, Enrique Silva de Aviz, Aaron Kortsarian and Abdul Ibadulla all clear candidates for the team of the tournament. That they all play their club football abroad may worry certain individuals behind the scenes at the CMSC, but it merely serves to show the degree to which Candelariasian football has immersed itself into the global system. And it’s not as though the CMSC itself doesn’t have its fair share of overseas stars, does it? And Daehanjeiguk is full to bursting, the EPL reads as a banner ad for exploitedvephreseteens.org, and we hardly need mention Cafundéu.

There may be others still who wouldn’t entirely welcome further Candelariasian success in Demot or even Paripana. Rugby clubs, for one. And community field hockey sides, for another. Their national team won the World Cup final seven-one barely weeks ago, after all, even if nobody back home really noticed. The idea that the round ball could carve out an even higher position in the nation’s hearts is far from a pleasing prospect for those struggling to keep such minority sports in the public limelight.

But for everyone else? With the Eesseff tomorrow, followed by a meeting with the ancient Holy Empire or an exceptional Sorthern Northland side, even fourth place will be greeted by a week of drunken revelry and open-top bus-rides a-go-go. What’s going to happen if we somehow win?

Ugh… We’re going to be insufferable, aren’t we?

Fantastic.

Sorthern Northland

30-03-2009, 21:34

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/SNpaper.png

Kumquats to thank for World Cup success

Following the surprise run off the Sorthern Northland football team to the last four of the World Cup, one would struggle to think for the noise of various people claiming responsibility in the national team being on the brink of the biggest match in Sorthern history. The claims have been made by numerous peoples, from pistachio growers to brewers to swan catching bounty hunters to good old bus drivers. But one individual's claims seem to have caught the attention more than any other.

He is Vojtěch Krofcky, a humble kumquat grower who lives on a small farm just outside Sobrinic, a small pleasant rural town nestled in the rolling landscape of Cúige Oirthearach. Through being the father of Marek Krofcky, arguably Sorthern Northland's best player at this World Cup, Vojtěch can already claim to have played a part in his country's World Cup success. He demises the idea however that he has. “I may have bought Marek into the world, but he certainly didn't inherit my football skills” he laughs. His part to play in the success comes not through his son, but by the produce his farm produces. Kumquats.

“We grow many every year. Too many to count. Marek always took some from the farm with him to eat at half time as refreshment. Then the other players became curious and asked to try some, and now they cannot play without them! Before they went to Paripana, Merginn Moffat came to the farm to take a big bag of them for the team to have at the World Cup. Some players like to have oranges at half time, but all our players tell me kumquats are much better! They say they can play better if they have them. Perhaps that is why we are now in the semi-final, I think they are good enough for us to maybe win the World Cup. I hope they are!”

The revelations of the kumquat factor in the teams World Cup run has already seen a huge upsurge in the popularity of kumquats, with many shops reporting record sales of the small citric oval shaped fruit. Breweries are even getting in on the surge in popularity with the popular Beningrad based brewery Two Rivers Brewery announcing a limited edition kumquat flavoured beer to celebrate the run to the semi-finals.

Head Brewer at Two Rivers, Terry Bishop announced the limited edition beer saying, “We feel this would be a great way to celebrate what is a tremendous achievement in the World Cup, with football being a sport the Sorthern people love so much, we felt to right to put two other things we as a nation love, beer and kumquats, together. We are confident this will work out a lot better than our previous limited edition beer, the Pistachio Stout.”

Feng Shui to join Waywide

Lee Waywide career is nearing it's end, with just two games to go before he hangs up his boots, and following the quarter-final victory the mode of Sorthern fans was diluted somewhat by Feng Shui also announcing his intention to retire at the end of the World Cup. Having come off the bench to set up the equalising goal and then scoring the winning goal against Jasīʼyūn, Feng told reporters that he felt now was the right time to bow out of football.

“It's been a fantastic journey, being in this team from it's start in that Baptism of Fire nearly twenty six years ago, to being here in the semi-final ten cups later, and hopefully further! But I am an old man now, and the legs are wearing out. I feel very tired after tonights game, and I am sure I will take a long time to recover fully, it's hard stuff playing top class international football, perhaps a bit too much for a centurion! But I have enjoyed every single minute of it, it's just that it now feels the right time for me and Sorthern Northland to move on, and I look forward to seeing the team progress even further, but from now on as an onlooker rather than a participant.”

The news is set to come as a blow to Sorthern football fans, many of whom revere the seemingly evergreen Feng Shui as something of a demigod. A small number of fans are said to have locked themselves in their basements following the news, due to believing that the retirement of both Feng and Waywide will bring about the end of the world as it is known, and with it a one thousand and ninety three year period of Bostopian followed by a nine hundred and eighty four year period of anatidae rule.

Elves Security Forces

30-03-2009, 21:52

As his deep blues eyes peered through the clear crystal windows and out towards the horizon, he couldn't help but marvel at the beauty before him. The sky was painted all different shades of pink, purple, orange, and red as the sun was crossing the threshold and moving to light up another part of the wide world. The land beneath was spotted here and there with people going about their business in the city, and in the distance, the beautiful forest stood as a natural skyline. It was something out of an artist's book, something that just is beyond the words of man or elf to describe. For him, this was the perfect ending to a long and challenging day that could have very likely shaped the future of Valanora for years to come. Tobias had spent most of the day reflecting upon his actions thus far in his short life, how short thirteen hundred plus years seemed to his elders, and how they have caused rippled effects. He had come to realize how even the smallest and seemingly innocent action meant only to effect himself had changed the course of history across the world. That realization coupled with a new burden of having the duty to continue the rediscovery of Valanora's religious spirit had given him pause. He had canceled all the meetings that were on the agenda for the day and had locked the doors to his private quarters in the VFA Headquarters. The only noise was the sound coming from the radio as the National Team was playing against Kura-Pelland.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I am Belmeliel Lassenddal, and I'll be bringing you this quarterfinal match from beautiful Santa Rosa as our very own Valanora goes up against Kura-Pelland for the right to progress to the semi-finals. The teams are just coming out of the gate and shaking hands. The stadium is packed with plenty of supporters for both sides as well as some neutral locals as the pregame festivities come to a close."

How odd it seemed that on a day when he was seeking some sort of conflict to his inner struggles and the ways he had shaped the course of history that he would pause to listen in to a football match. The fact that he and the rest of his family before hand had pushed the sport into the national spotlight soo heavily seemed almost laughable on a day like this. While the country had developed quite many friendships through the use of international football, there was also those few instances of creating rifts because of it. As well as the fact that a good many of the citizens acted as if the success of failure of the national team was a success or failure of themselves. He wondered about the strength and weakness in doing so, in combining the fortunes of a sport team to your own. That could be one the very things that Elune was wary of, but how do you ween them off of it, but still have the support for the players?

... and Kura-Pelland have put themselves in a hole early here as Razov steps up to take the penalty. He was free on goal before that nasty challenge from behind with the striker just a step into the box. The Starblaydi referee pointed directly to the spot and then reached for his back pocket and pulled out the red card. Razov waits for the whistle, there it is, and GOOOAAALLL!!!! Just twenty minutes into the match and the Marauders are up one to nil and Kura-Pelland are down a man. Not a good sign for our Kura-Pellandi listeners, but wonderful news for the Vanorians!

Razov, now there was the type of individual Tobias admired quite a bit. Nothing in life had ever been given to the man, he had always had to overcome odds in some shape or fashion. When it was with SC Rinaldi, he had to fight just to get out of the youth and reserve squad, and then fight to supplant Kiso Night as starter on the first team. When he was finally given the spot, he then had to fight every day to keep it. Yet he never got down and continued his hard work before he eventually moved to Dunboor in Cafundeu and became a star. Now he has been rewarded by being the Vanorian starting striker for the past three tournaments. Always self-motivated and always hard working, very much like Laborious Hawk and to a lesser extent, the hero of Jas Hatire.

"We need more Razovs and Hawks in this world, it would be such a better place I suspect..."

"Despite constant pressure and chances, the Marauders have yet to close the door on this fixture and book their spot in the semifinals once more. Razov has hit the post twice and va Drake had a goal disallowed on a phantom offside call. Despite that, Kura-Pelland have not escaped their half of the pitch in the last ten minutes and you just have to wonder how much longer they can hold up under this pressure. With ten minutes left in the match, it doesn't need to be much longer, but Kuu seems to want that second goal. Off comes Soldarian and on comes Fresco, with the side switching to a 3-4-3 diamond formation. Oh, look at that, look at THAT! GOOOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!! Just seconds after stepping onto the pitch, Fresco gets a pass from Hawk and puts it in the back of the net. Surely that seals it!"

"So it is that we will be going to another semifinal, but why and how does this effect the future? Will future participants quit under the guise of an all powerful nation that can only be stopped by another all powerful nation? Will current associations merely give up as we and the Starblaydi continue to treat this competition as our own series of friendlies? What are the consequences of these actions and individuals? Can we ever know it all?"

... and that is the final whistle, VALANORA 2, KURA-PELLAND 0. Might it had been a different match if not for that red card? We will never know for sure, but we do know that the Marauders are through to the semifinals for the eighth consecutive tournament. Hold on a minute, I'm getting a message here.... and we know who they will be facing. It will be fellow Group H opponents and bitter rivals Candelaria And Marquez who have defeated Bostopia by a sore of three to two in Skyhaven. The two will once again meet in Freestone at the Thunderbluff stadium, the same stadium where the Marauders snatched a one to nil victory over the Big Blues. Until Sunday, this is Belmeliel Lassenddal signing off. Have a good rest of the day Valanora."

"Isn't that ironic? Candelaria and Marquez in a semifinal bout, after so long of dominating them. This could be very well the end of that domination, but could there be something else? Hrmm..."

Reaching into his desk, he pulled out a pen and several pieces of paper, and started a letter.

To: Candelaria And Marquez President Morton
From: Tobias Raynor, Former Great Leader and Current VFA President
RE: It's Time

Greetings Madam President, I do believe that this is the first official communication that I have ever have had with yourself. It seems an awfully odd and ironic thing that I should be contacting you now, after I have lost my seat of power and influence over the country, as well as our two sides meeting in the semifinal of the current World Cup. However, I have been in series of reflections concerning actions and their consequences, and I believe that is time that we put aside the distrust between our nations, and step forward into a cooperative standing.

For over the last twenty years, we have treated the others' country with distrust, distaste, and something just short of hatred. Each of our governments have contributed to this, some more than others. The point is, it is far beyond time that we reconcile and move past our obvious differences. Already your autonomous island of Green Island has sent forth the hand of friendship, surely Albrecht can be as gracious and civilized as Zapata? The lies and misinformation needs to stop, on both sides, and let the truth come to the surface, let your populace know of the world outside their own small bubble in Rushmore.

If you choose to do so, know that we will be there every step of the way, helping you along and putting to bed any troubles that may arise. We are not so naive to know that after soo many generations of being lied and misinformed, that the populace will suddenly accept the existence of elves and another non-human sentience. We would help you develop strategies to gradually spread the truth across your nation, and bring your citizens into the modern world. The choice is yours madam President, I pray you make the wise one.

Health and Happiness,
Tobias Raynor

Demot

30-03-2009, 23:56

Semifinal Result - SLANI Region (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14649663&postcount=30)

New Manhattan

31-03-2009, 00:04

Semifinal result — Demot region (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14649672&postcount=31)

Jeruselem

31-03-2009, 05:36

-> Don't click that way

Lilian: Good morning!
Jacinta: You're Kara Kool's replacement right?
Lilian: Yes, I'm Lilian Dazzarina Greenly.
JacintaL You sound Qazian.

Lilian: Yes, I'm Qazian.
Jacinta: Nice name ... err like the lovechild of Ryan Greenly and Dazza Dallas.
Lilian: But I'm not related to either. Directly anyway.
Jacinta: Well, I'm a lovechild actually. I'm not supposed to exist.

Lilian: That's OK, you turned out OK.
Jacinta: Well ... Lilian or Dazza?
Lilian: Lilian, but I don't being called Dazza either.
Jacinta: Lilian then, since my Mum is the real Dazza.

Lilian: What's Kara Kool doing these days?
Jacinta: Apparently, she's quit JGN to manage the business now.
Lilian: Sounds logical, she's Jewish.
Jacinta: Yeah, I think she wants more money or something. You're pretty young.

Lilian: I'm a trainee journalist.
Jacinta: Why football then?
Lilian: The other trainees didn't know anything about football actually.
Jacinta: I heard you're a bit of cowgirl.

Lilian: I like Ox, like Pups likes ducks.
Jacinta: You like bullriding then?
Lilian: Yeah, but no time these days ... and JGN prefer I don't in case I smash my head open.
Jacinta: Never mind that, let's meet everyone.

<Later>

Jacinta: Joe, this is Lilian Dazzarina Greenly ... the JGN replacement for Kara Kool. Joe is the vice-president around here.
Lilian: Nice to meet you.
Joe: Funny name there Lilian
Lilian: I know, but I'm not a Dallas or a Ryan Greenly relative.

Joe: I was expecting someone older actually.
Jacinta: She's young but she's no dope head like ... err Sadie.
Joe: Well, you're that Qazian girl right?
Lilian: Yes

Joe: Then you know all about Jeruselem and Qazian football then.
Lilian: Not all but a lot. I've done a lot of study.
Jacinta: What do you read?
Lilian: I'm intrigued by your mother since my middle name is the same. So I've read all her books.

Joe: Yes, she just retired here. Saying that Jacinta isn't that different a person.
Lilian: Everyone seems nice here.
Joe: Oh that, Dazza got rid of the dead wood. The people who didn't do anything.
Lilian: So it's like real business then?

Jacinta: Well, it has to be.
Joe: It used to be retirement village for useless people around here.
Lilian: A lot of young people here.
Joe: Well, that's people all the other oldies retired or dropped dead from old age.

New Manhattan

01-04-2009, 00:52

Third place match result (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14653078&postcount=32)

Starblaydia

01-04-2009, 12:20

"Zuam'Deeb watches all, knows all," the inspector said, barely bothering to cast his eyes around the interior of the small ship.

Viannor rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time at his religious exultation, glancing down at her sensors so make sure nothing was sneaking up on them. Her ship was tiny in the grand scheme of things, and the wasp-shaped vessel was dwarfed by the Interplanetary Customs Inspectorate vessel that hung beside it silently in space. Viannor had thought her ship would be simply barged aside when it came to dock alongside the Inspectorate's craft, but she was an able pilot, despite the protestations of her auto-pilot system that had been screaming collision warnings at her.

If nothing else, she was still a cowboy. Even among a galactic empire.

"Your cargo?" the robed Inspector asked as his two silent lackeys made their way into the main body of the ship, scanning devices out, identifying and cataloging everything.

"The usual for a solo traveler, I'd imagine," Viannor said, "Bits. Bobs. Whatsits. Do-hickeys."

Viannor sat squarely in her large, comfy chair, looking up at the Inspector from this world. He played with his long, thin moustache, which was probably the current fashion for such men in his position. She studied his uniform, which combined flowing white robes with one symbol to hold a short cloak around his neck. A purple eagle within a circle of gold.

"Not a great deal of food," The Inspector said, dismissing her words with less a question than a statement. "Even for one."

"Which is why,", Viannor said, keeping her voice level and friendly, though her mind was racing at the connection she had made, "I need to land on your planet and take on some of the local delicacies that you are so famous for."

"The God-Imperator has blessed us indeed," he replied with a generous smile.

Viannor looked at the man. Not just in passing, or in conversation, but really looked at him. She saw into his mind and into his soul. Her mind read his in the briefest of moments and she knew that he did truly believe in his heavenly Lord. He was weak-willed and easily corruptible, and Viannor decided to use the opportunity to catch up on what she had missed in the preceeding years.

"Tell me," Viannor said, "I've seen parts of space that venerate Zuam'Deeb in different ways, how do you do it here, locally?"

"Properly, of course," The Inspector smiled, trying to dismiss the question, but finding himself mentally dominated.

"I've known other planets that say," Viannor searched for the right words, "that he is just a saint, or a maybe a prophet, even..."

"Then they shall be consigned to every level of hell," he replied, "Zuam'Deeb is The Eternal, The Everlasting, the Ever-Watching and All-Knowing."

"Definitely a God, then?"

"Without question," the man smiled and raised his eyes upwards, despite the fact they were technically already in 'the heavens', "he is the shining beacon of light, a being of golden and silver-hair, arranger of history and bringer of civilisation. With his incandescent golden sword, he rules wisely and justly from his throne and enters our dreams, our machines and our lives at will."

"Our machines?" Viannor asked, genuinely confused, "I have not heard that in other parts of space, how is that?"

"Mystifying indeed," he replied, "for their machines must have the spirit of the God-Emperor in them, or they would not work. He gifted us such wondrous technology as you fly in today a thousand years ago and it is kept by his will alone, for its secrets are unknown to all but the highest priest."

"A thousand years?" Viannor inquired.

"Yes, of course," the man explained, "the scanners my men are using to catalogue your cargo, for instance, are treasured heirlooms of nearly six hundred years. They have always worked, through the will of Zuam'Deeb, and should he ever withdraw his faith from them, they will stutter and fail."

"Have things advanced in the years until now?"

"Advanced? Why would they advance, as we are the most advanced society that has ever existed. Zuam'Deeb's sword, protection and majesty has guided us to our place of honour among the stars, as he has always promised."

"He made a promise?" Viannor searched her memories for the various promises that she remembered from... a long time before.

"He said 'I have taken these barbarians, and I shall lift them to the stars themselves'. We are the product, our pitiful barbarian forms, and he has lifted us to our place. Here we shall remain." He looked down at his ancient scanner as it bleeped at him. "Ah, it seems our scans have completed: all is in order. Enjoy your stay on New Sarmosis."

"I intend to," Viannor replied, with a sinister smile, a merest hint of what was to come. As the Inspector and his two men left, Viannor punched the auto-separate commands, followed quickly by the auto-land function. She sat back in her chair, watching the display and thinking, searching her long memory for the snippets she needed.

'I have taken these barbarians, and I shall lift them to the stars themselves'. Since when would Tiberius ever have said that? And why would he have golden hair, when Tiberius always had easily-identifiable silver locks? The sword, the protection, the majesty, it all fitted. Except the barbarians and the gold. History and Civilisation, too, could match with the Tiberius Starblayde she had once known, millennia ago.

An entire galactic civilisation, now in steady decline, was based around this religion, with glorious technology that had not been advanced an iota in five centuries and a steadfast belief in perfection. What could be done with the right leader to forge a new Empire with fire and steel?

Viannor contemplated this as her ship neared the re-entry point and the atmosphere began to heat the outer surface of her craft. The other thing that still troubled her, however, was what golden-haired, eternal being - now confused and conflated with Lord-Protector Tiberius Starblayde - could have promised to lead barbarians to the stars at some point in human history?

It puzzled her, but there were more important things to think about. She needed to feed: she needed blood.

Candelaria And Marquez

01-04-2009, 19:36

The most important office in the land.

The Square Room, Robinson House, 12 Robinson Street, Albrecht, the Republic of Candelaria And Marquez.

President Morton barely even deigned to glance up from her feverish scribbling as the door went and the Foreign Secretary was ushered in and took a place in front of her desk, which had been fashioned from wood and was probably deeply symbolic even if no-one could remember entirely why.

Tate Sayfritz MP stared at his shoes, feeling very much like an errant schoolboy sent to the headmistress’ office. He slowly pulled himself together and coughed pointedly.

“Hm…?”

“So I, er, just thought I’d pop over and point out that the People’s Liberal Party, *hawk*, *spit*, are claiming victory in Delamawaria, now that the exit polls are out.”

“Oh…?”

“Yes. Bit of a surprise that, of course. I’ll pass on your congratulations to wotsizface, then? Davis.”

“If it’ll make you happy, Tate…”

“…appas is being readied here, one last throw of the dice for Dannat… And I think, actually, that it’s Lopulalan coming off, and that certainly sends a mess–”

“Um… Right. We’re also a tad overdue passing on our collective condolences to the Pacitalian government, if we’re going to.”

“Oh. Would we normally?”

“Probably. Sounds like the sort of thing we’d do.”

“Good-o. Knock yourself out.”

“…ake will have a go!! Juuuust wide, goodness me! Well, Sbaïz’s goal’s been living a charmed life here since Razov’s equaliser, and it stays one-all… Well, it’s all about keeping it like that for Dannat’s team here in these final few minutes and praying for pen–”

“The, uh, new administration in Gordon Bay City are letting in food and essential goods, for what it’s worth. Thoroughly checking it all out first, we’re assuming, but that’s a relief at least, eh?”

“Hm? Yes, Jenny’s been keeping me informed. Our people on the inside suggest that They’re being relatively well-behaved at the moment, as occupying invasion forces go.”

“Mm.”

“…s Kortsarian will try a breakaway here, but Ibadulla’s just too far away and Hocn will scoop that up with ease. Hawk has it, tackled well though by Zec… And he’s got to be so careful, already on that oh-so costly yellow, an–”

The Tory leader succumbed. “So… What are you doing?”

Morton groaned and allowed her pen to tumble onto the desk and roll onto the ghastly yellow carpet. “Writing. Or I was,” she added, screwing up the sheet and tossing into a corner. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen this, have you?” she continued, thrusting a new page into Sayfritz’s skeletal right hand.

He read the first couple of lines before nodding. “Snezhana did pass it on… In me role as Foreign Minister and all… He always comes across as slightly camp to me, I must say. ‘To know that after, like soooo many generations of being lied to and misinformed…’ Get you, girlfriend! See you never!”

Morton looked up for the first time in genuine concern. “Are you alright, Tate?”

“Absolutely battered,” he agreed gratefully, slumping into the nearest available empty chair, “And ever-so slightly rat-arsed. What else can one do, under the circumstances? I take it you’ve bitten his arm off?”

“Eh?”

“Big Gay Toby. You don’t get an offer like that every day!”

“No… We don’t. And that doesn’t worry you at all? They choose now to lend a hand, after all this time?”

“No doubt they’ve been watching events. Even if they don’t know the full ins and outs, they must see that this is rather our hour of need.”

“And wouldn’t that be convenient for them, hm? Two centuries under the control of the faeries, a bunch of elves sweep in, and before you know it we’re a vassal state of Valanora.”

“Oh, come on… Let’s not fall for our own propaganda, Robyn…”

“Frying pan and fire springs to my mind, that’s all I’m saying. As much as anything else, if our new friend Leohi discovers that we’re getting all pally with the pointies, never mind that they’re planning on helping us undermine decades of painstaking lies and misinformation, she’d…”

“Bring in an army of evil faeries over from the netherworld and take a key costal town hostage?”

The President stuck her tongue out. “I’m willing to bet that this is her mildly pissed off, Tate. If we make her angry, God only knows what they’re capable of. And you do understand the implications here, don’t you? We’d never be able to go back to the way things were!”

“We’re never going back! Robyn, I can just about hold my nose enough to go along with your softly-softly approach to the GBC issue. I’ll even concede that giving any further information to the general public right at this moment would be utterly counter-productive, I will! We’ve got enough problems with controlling the conspiracy nutters at it is, without every Candelariasian under the sun undermining the government just when we need them to bloody well behave. But this is a classic gift horse! These people have, have, ray guns and spaceships an’, an’, magick! They could flatten the faeries and bring this country kicking and screaming into the nineteenth century! We can’t ignore them!”

“These people, Tate, aren’t people! Let’s not forget that. And the worst the faeries have done up until now is steal a few kids and lure people into maddening dances. That’s what faeries do, anyway! I’d say we’ve gotten off pretty lightly, over the years. This might just be an aberration, we can still get things back to the way things were, if we’re careful and brave and clever about it! We invite the elves on board, an–”

“Why can’t you get this through your skull, Robyn?! This is what we want! This creature Leohi has given us the perfect opening, the little fool! This is our best opportunity for half a dozen generations to rid ourselves of their control once and for all! You can be the President who took this nation into the greatest, boldest era of its history, you stubborn bitch! And if that means we have to snuggle up to the Vanorians bosom then so be it!”

“I’d of thought you of all people wouldn’t trust them as far as you could throw them…”

“What, because I’m a Tory?”

“Come on, be honest. Don’t you hate the faeries a teensy-weensy bit more because they’re brown?”

“I hardly think racial matters apply to beings spawned from baby’s laughter. Or… whatever. How are they born, anyway?”

“I’d imagine They’re fashioned in the normal way,” Morton offered evenly.

“Prove my point, though. We barely know anything about Them, not really. The Vanorian elves may not be the uniformly wonderful creatures everyone seems to make out, but…”

“Better the devil we know, eh?”

The two sat in a contemplative silence as the radio chuntered on in the background.

“…otez coming in close now, but O’Brien will let that one run on to the ‘keeper, and Sbaïz will try one last punt forwards, just to get it out of his area… Minyatur can control i–”

Sayfritz frowned. “What is this, anyway?”

“Eh? Oh, the World Cup semi-final…”

Sayfritz was no born-again football fan, but even now, despite everything else they had to contend with, those five words had been bandied about the Foreign Office a hell of a lot these past few days. “You mean, this is it? Us? It’s on now? I mean, it sounds like we’re holding them! We could be making the bloody final here!”

Morton shook her head and smiled warmly. “We’re playing the elves, Tate, in case you hadn’t noticed. The elves. There’s no chance of us actually beating them, however well we’re doin–”

“…s it?? Oh, it’s going t’be a corner, y’know! Well… Barely, what, sixty seconds left on the clock in the second period of extra time, and it’s one final corner for C&M… Cohen will take this… He’s not hurrying over it, that’s for sure. May even try to keep it in the corner, Ibadulla just jostling with Hocn there… Braga Mendes isn’t keen with all that, and this is fine time-wasting here… Now he’s happy, Cohen will deliver it, EnRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIQUEEEEE!!! ENRIQUE SILVA VE DA VEEZZZ! GOOD CHRIST, HE’S PUT IT IN!! HE’S ACTUALLY GONE AND PUT IT IN, SWEET EVIL JESUS! MY CHRIST! It’s C&M TWO… IT’S C&M TWO, it’s Vala, Vala… Oh fuck it, Valanora ONE! It’s TWO-ONE, and there’s, what, ten seconds… Christ almighty… Razov, Soler, kick off… This’ll be a punt, there’s just no time left… AND IT’S THERE, IT’S THERE, IT’S C&M… Would you believe it, it’s C&M two, the Eesseff one, and the Big Blues are actually through… This is just… They’re actually through to the World Cup FINAL! My God… Well, you’d think we’d won the thing already from the reaction of the players, but… Who can blame them, my God…”

“You were saying, Robyn?”

“Oh, shut up and help find my pen…”

***

The most important office in the land.

The Old Kitchens, Gordon Bay City Town Hall, 13 Merchant Street, Gordon Bay City Town, the Queendom of Gordon Bay City.

Queen Leohi barely even deigned to look up as the door clicked open and her Chief Minister slid quietly into the room, bowing furiously. He coughed.

“Yes, Puao?”

“Apologies for disturbing you, your ladyship. I thought you would wish to know that we have completed the work on the sewers. We are entirely positive that no-one could hope to neither get out, nor get back in, without ou… without your direct say-so. We are… trapped here, with Them…”

“They are trapped her with us, my friend… Never forget that.”

“Naturally, your ladyship. Er… Is there any particular reason why we must persist in this mode of speech?”

“English? I consider it necessary, Puao. And I have no doubt that an individual of your own learning would consider it little hardship…”

“Certainly. There are others, however, who have not benefited from my education or your social standing, and who are struggling to master the tongue. Some have been… mocked, I regret to say, by certain residents of the city, for their linguistic deficiencies…”

“Then they must try harder, Puao, clearly. Does not the wise shepherdess learn the secret whisperings of the sheep?”

“Er. Conceivably… Not really an expert on livestock myself, to tell the truth…”

Leohi sighed. “None the less, we must make the effort. Indeed, graceless though it is, I find their native tongue most illuminating… And how are our dear sheep? You have walked amongst them today?”

“Briefly. Most of those still at large have been brought under our influence following your exceptional work yesterday. Some are even helping our border guards arrange the transfer of their primitive foodstuffs. We cannot let them starve, I suppose…”

The Queen nodded. “That would never do…”

“Indeed. The several hundred that remain captive along Hague Street have behaved themselves of late…”

“Including the boy?”

“The child of Jenny Harris? More or less, yes.”

“Good. We may have need of him yet… And the rest of the town? Still in their hovels, awaiting these mysterious disease-carrying birds…?”

Puao chuckled dutifully. “As yet, They are accepting their President’s lies without the merest bat of an eyelid. Truly They are a species of remarkable stupidity. And yes, they are remaining confined to their dwelli–”

At that moment, the ground underfoot (well it would be, really) shuddered. Leohi jumped to her feet. “Oh, They dare defy us?! They send their orbs of iron against me?!”

“Er…”

“Oh, we shall make them pay! she screamed, striding out into the barren street outside. “They shall suffer endless torment for this, dear friend!”

The ground shook once more, and the faeries watched in utter bemusement as front doors the length of the street were flung open; Candelariasians of all hues storming into the road, screaming and hugging each other.

“Some manner of religious ceremony?” Puao wondered, “A rain dance, perhaps? But what about the bird disease… what about us? For what reason would They possibly risk their lives in this way?

Leohi merely smiled as the humans danced around them, oblivious to the mortal threat on their lives presented by the beautiful strangers. “What a curious people They are. Fetch me my brother, Puao, if you would be so good… A new approach suggests itself…”

“As you wish, your ladyship”, Puao nodded. The crowd around them bounced on cheerfully to an explicit rendition of O, Sweet Nation as the faeries slipped away into the approaching night.

***

The Albrecht Herald Online Global Edition>News
Stunning C&M power through to World Cup final
Eesseff beaten in extra time to set up Holmes Stadium clash
World Cup final achievement is, like, best thing ever

By Roy Greenwood and the Herald sportswriting team

Three days from now, the seemingly impossible will happen. The eyes – and, in several hundred thousand cases, feet – of the sporting world will turn to the Holmes Stadium for the third World Cup final at one of the planet’s most storied venues. But this time, the victors in soccer’s greatest contest will not be Bedistani or Capitalizt, nor will the defeated finalists be Liventian or Milchamian. For the first time in six tournaments – since, indeed, the final last travelled to Columbia – the champions will not be Starblaydi or Eesseffian. They might just turn out to be Candelariasian.

Last night, the country watched spellbound as the Big Blues of Candelaria And Marquez took on the world’s number one footballing nation at the own game, and emerged victorious. An early strike from Abdul Ibadulla, the Clotaire-born forward who plays his club football for Juavi FC in the Eesseff, gave C&M an unexpected lead that was cancelled out only in the fifty-sixth minute by Ikles Razov. As the Eesseff became increasingly dominant, the real hero of the night emerged as Ben Zec – the Albrecht FC stalwart unafraid to make key challenges in the centre of the park and picking up a yellow card for a robust tackle on Jamichel Totez. Coupled with a previous booking against Bostopia, that left Zec out of contention for the World Cup final, but the midfielder put his heartache aside to continue to put in a valuable performance.

The goalline tended by Chelmar FC’s Joel Sbaïz was battered throughout the remainder of normal and extra time, Green Island’s own Espy va Drake coming closest to granting the global giants what might well have been a rightful victory; but the superb Candelariasian defence and goalkeeper held firm as extra-time came and – very nearly – went.

Early statistics released last night by TV1, who held exclusive rights to the Freestone semi-final for Candelarias television, suggest that all previous audience figures were utterly smashed as the final five minutes of extra-time began and the nation readied itself for the terrifying prospect of a penalty shoot-out.

They need not have worried. Aaron Kortsarian, perhaps the stand-out midfield performer across this entire World Cup, secured for C&M the rights to the final chance of the match by winning a corner, following a lost-cause run for a weary Lawrence Amey cross. It was captain Niv Cohen who delivered it the set piece, aiming perhaps for Ibadulla, but instead it was the head of the side’s veteran star that put the Big Blues inches closer to glory. Enrique Silva de Aviz, up from the centre-half position to make himself lanky nuisance in Amarian Tinehtelë’s box, rose perfectly to nod in Cohen’s precise ball. As he wheeled away in utter jubilation, half his colleagues already had tears in their eyes. They weren’t the only ones. The full-time whistle came mere seconds later.

Football fans will still joke, quite correctly, that the Big Blues are still yet to beat the Eesseff in ninety minutes, after eight meetings with the side that has become arguably their greatest rivals. Where and when it counts however, Elgin Dannat – until so recently derided as a one-trick pony floundering in the international limelight – has masterminded a result that takes Candelariasian football to a whole new level. A miracle worker at Caires City in years past, Dannat may now be a matter of days away from earning a place among the pantheon of great football managers from the last century or more, in this or any other country. The availability of a smattering of genuine world-class talent has certainly helped him, but the quietly-spoken and grossly overweight north-easterner will instantly become one of the most famous and fêted men in the world if he can engineer a victory over the Holy Empire in Bedistan.

<Continued on Page 2>

Though by no means the neutral’s choice, C&M may even be considered favourites for the final, at least as far as the world rankings are concerned. The manner in which the Frosticans disposed of a hugely talented Sorthern Northlandish side in their own semi-final may suggest otherwise, but the nationwide confidence in a side in their prime of life is infectious.

Previous successes by Candelariasian sides in international club tournaments, as well as victories from units as diverse as the national field hockey side and Olympic gold medallists Yazmin Nazar and Rabiah Sajjad in tennis, have firmly given lie to the myth of the Candelariasian underdog. Those who claim that such a shift is profoundly anti-Candelariasian still exist in large numbers, but their voices have long-since been drowned out by a tidal wave of – thus-far peaceable – patriotism. Others are already appealing for calm heads to prevail post-match, with a festival of unprecedented alcoholic consumption anticipated regardless of the final result; while an article in this week’s Candelarias Medical Journal by respected TV psychologist Anjan Reshma has been credited with summing up the unspoken attitudes of many in bemoaning a growing shift away from state-sponsored academia and towards the ‘current… and bizarre obsession with organised physical exertion’. OnwereTV is expected to put programming aimed squarely at people with no interest in football up against TV1 throughout Wednesday’s build-up to the evening kick-off, but TTO bosses confirmed last night that their terrestrial network would not be showing the scheduled alternative programming and instead broadcasting eighteen hours of rolling news coverage, with advertisers unwilling to pay towards a record low audience share.

All of Wednesday’s appointments in the House of Representatives have been postponed meanwhile, as C&M’s political leader attempt to make further capital out of the achievement. Both the incumbent Modern Liberal Party and opposition Unionists spent yesterday trumpeting their present and past programmes in support of Candelariasian sport, but both parties are likely to make gains compared to some of their smaller counterparts. Jenny Spong, co-chair of Students Against Racism, told the Herald that she expected public support for David Wild’s parliamentary Nationalists to plummet should a Cohen and an Ibadulla hold the trophy aloft; while leading Marquezian separatists have also been attempting to cling onto their voting base in the wake of C&M’s success, with the Partido Nacionalista Marquez now backtracking desperately on previous demands for a separate Marquez national team, and MNP insiders believing that the row could even cost long-time leader Jorge Estévez amid continued criticism from rival Bobby Pizarro.

And as for the other concerned parties…

Travelling Supporters ~ While Foreign Office restrictions make Candelariasian fans seldom the most numerous of travellers, authorities in Columbia are anticipating a vast influx of fans from Demot and the Candelarias alike, with numbers expected to exceed our official ticket allocation by quite some degree despite CAMAFA pleas to the contrary. Those who have made the trip appear uniform in their conviction that a victory over the Holy Empire would constitute the greatest single moment in Candelariasian history, though “Rrreeer! ‘S bad-a-da! SeeeNEEEEEMMMM… Waaaaaaaaarrr!” is currently the sum total of their media interviews as they partake of Paripana’s more liberal drinking laws.

Local Authorities ~ With some 95% of the Candelariasian population expected to watch at least part of the match live, despite the late kick-off; city, town and village councils across the country have been rushing to cater to the demand for communal viewing. Giant screens are expected to be set up in most city centres, while at least twenty football stadia will also broadcast the match – with one Albrecht Turkish official telling the Herald that the club were expecting a sixty-thousand sell-out at the Solidarity Stadium.

All police leave on Wednesday is cancelled meanwhile, while hospitals are preparing for an influx of heart attack victims and drink-related injuries. Nationwide helplines have been set up in the event of a C&M defeat, while major operations are underway to bring reliable television coverage to oil rigs, deep-sea trawlers and remote communities in north Marquez and west Candelaria.

Expats ~ While the WC45 final itself is not expected to capture worldwide audience figures to rival the classic Starblaydia versus Cafundéu clash two years ago, there is feverish interest among Candelariasians based overseas. Rothsbere publican Jonjo Kinsella is expecting record takings, telling the Herald that the Sorthern town will be ‘green and blue from east to west, arr begorrah’ come Wednesday. “I can’t tell you what it’s been like here the past couple of weeks… No really, I can’t, I’ve been off me skull, but this match really is going to lift everyone’s mood here. Top o’ the morning. I’m honestly expecting fans here who’ve never even set foot in the Candelarias or thought about the place for more than five minutes in their lives, but I don’t reckon that’s any bad thing, so it is. If we can’t celebrate Candelariasianness, whatever that is, at a time like this, when can we? Er… What’s the craic, begorrah?”

Candelariasian-run pubs and even public properties are certain to host vast get-togethers across Nethertopia and continental Rushmore meanwhile, according to Chapon-born Peregrinus City local Daan Robertson; “We have these little soirees most times the Blues are playing a big game, and obviously there’s a proper shindig every Peter Gonzalez day, but this really is going to be something else. Everyone here’s had their reasons for leaving, although given we’re only a couple of hours away from home we’re not like those guys pretty much exiled out in Ariddia or Zwangzug or whatever, but there are still people here who have their reasons for not being especially jingoistic when it comes to their homeland. But it’s football, innit? Politics doesn’t come into it. It’s going to be huge!”

Major congregations of Candelariasians are also expected in Bettia, Prazkoy, for some reason, and Taeshan, despite the ongoing social instability in the latter country.

Minority Communities ~ Across the Candelarias, the team’s success will be welcomed no more enthusiastically that among cultural and religious groups with representation in the squad. Television cameras have spent the past week invading the home neighbourhoods of key Big Blues players, from the Jewish community in Bove and Bettian population of Rose of Sharon, to the Adekunde family home in Hoxton – with matriarch Kathryn pregnant with an unexpected eighth child to add to the vast sporting clan. While there were more than a few streets in Albrecht, Clotaire, Melin and beyond that struggled to join in with the celebrations that followed the semi-final victory, the presence of Eric O’Brien on the team sheet will give the islandss’ immeasurable Northlandish population plenty to cheer about. The thousands of refugees from Macedonian imperialism in the Candelarias will also be hoping that Joel Sbaïz can continue his heroics and hand renewed public attention to their plight.

Journalists ~ Spare a thought for the nation’s sportswriters, the only people in the country and now Paripana charged with keeping a level head ahead of the final. “It’s impossible not to get swept up in all this,” the Herald’s own Mack Hession says, “But this is our job, and we’d be failing miserably if we didn’t treat it with all due seriousness at a time like this. Our concerns have to be about whether O’Brien and Enrique can contain Ug-Ug, whether Dannat is truly happy with David Spooner’s less prolific role in the team or whether he’ll pull a fast one hours before kick-off and partner Ibadulla with Smith instead, particularly with Amey starting ahead of Vavasour now… that kind of thing. Even if nobody else back home really cares about these particulars anymore, we’ve got to keep our eye on the ball! To be honest, our major concern right now centres around running out of things to write, in the event we actually go and win this thing…”

For those less conscientious journos, there’s always the option of tedious ‘20 Things You Didn’t Know About the Holy Empire’ articles and such forth, though most of today’s papers appear to be struggling to inch past the half-dozen mark, oddly enough…

Veterans ~ Among the almost one hundred thousand Candelariasians expected to be present at the Holmes Stadium, the CAMAFA has brought together an array of former stars to cheer the whippersnappers of today on to victory. Giants of the pre-international era are expected to take up the invitation, including Tom McIndoe, Coleman Mustard, Bill Peters, Millerman Sheppard and Cory Rojas, along with the bulk of the Baptism of Fire squad that took the giant step to the Lowland Clans almost twenty years ago.

Three absentees are expected – with Damien Sono having cut his ties with the CAMAFA following Cup of Harmony 32, Lan Albret missing since clockgate eight years earlier, and Yasser Zaghloul trapped in St Samuel – while the management will be represented by NAPPC’s Ricardo Garcia with Mark Baker still on his second, well-publicised walkabout. Their old colleagues are a diverse bunch indeed – with Luís Enrique Torrealba and Jos Cornelisse the only two in full-time management, Peter Waddington having visited the Candelarias only twice since moving to Cafundéu nearly two decades ago, O’Sullivan Caras and Harry Primrose now working with disabled and LGBT athletes respectively, Speed Wang and Rudy Clark media figures, and Mamdooh Momtaz the CAMAFA’s man on the EWCC.

Wednesday’s Players ~ And almost forgotten amid the excitement back home are the eleven men who will take to the field on Wednesday night carrying the hopes of the nation upon their shoulders. Perhaps never before have a small group of Candelariasians faced so much pressure to deliver, either as a group or individually – with the likes of Ibadulla and Silva de Aviz now reluctant standard-bearers for their entire ethno-social communities.

But spare another though, if you will, for those whose fate is even worse – missing out on the World Cup final itself. His injury received against the Archregimancy means that Harvey Vavasour will be watching the game in plaster, while Ben Zec’s booking hands a rare start to Natestadt Nationalisten’s Joel Mercado, the twenty-eight year-old’s thirteenth cap coming in the most important game in his life. With the centre of the midfield down to the bare bones, young Green Island native Will Sussex may well also get a chance from the bench having made just one start for his country.

Each and every one of the available twenty-one will know that this may very well be their – and our – only chance. An era of Eesseff-style domination hardly looks likely, and previous defeated finalists have not always gone on to great things. Who honestly remembers Oaker, or Jurassica? Only twenty-one nations, and whatever that SLANI thingy is, have lifted the greatest prize in all sport. All magnanimousness aside; Elgin Dannat and his team know as well as anyone that we cannot afford to let this one slip through our figures.

Not little ol’ us. Not now.

<Also Inside: Full World Cup final coverage Pages 3 to 14; Sport Pages 96 to 114; H2 Mind & Heart: Coping with Victory and Defeat>

<Also in your World Cup final paper: Your exclusive 34-page World Cup final pull-out section>

Demot

01-04-2009, 23:15

And the final whistle blows @ Holmes Stadium in Columbia! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14656311&postcount=33)

Candelaria And Marquez

03-04-2009, 22:04

“So big, an’ so muscular, an’ so hairy…”

“Mm,” Lawrence Amey agreed, wistfully.

“And we’ve got another half of it,” Abdul Ibadulla moaned.

“An’ they don’t let you have a moment’s peace, and before you know it they’re on top of you, an’ they’re so big, they’re like, they’re like…”

“Apes?”

Niv Cohen slapped Zachary Adekunde round the head with a towel as Joel Sbaïz collapsed in a groaning heap. “Wha’ did you have to go and say that for, you great knob, you know he has flashbacks… Oh, someone go and give him a cuddle, for heaven’s sake…”

The captain hopped back into the showers, muttering under his breath. They were in the World Cup final andmygodthatwassoutterlyexciting!!!!! but, after forty-five minutes of toil and misery and no goals, the novelty was wearing off a tad. Misty eyes were being directed towards the Cup of Harmony. Bruises were beginning to gang up on unspoiled patches of skin in a manner that made the C&M team look even more ethnically diverse, often on an individual basis.

It wasn’t that their opponents were actually any good, strictly speaking. And from a tactical point of view it was perfectly clear that outthinking your average oak tree would be utterly beyond them. David Spooner said as much as he nursed his chin, albeit with somewhat more offensive language.

“You’ve gotta remember, Spoons,” Aaron Kortsarian replied as he cradled the goalkeeper’s head in his lap and mopped his brow with a damp flannel, “They’ve got pretty stellar management. You-know-who and… the other you-know-who…”

The other players, apart from the youngest and least travelled one or two, nodded sagely. Simeone Di Bradini was spoken off only in reverential whispers back home, on account of being dead and all. The Candelariasian edition of Craziness Encouraged had been published posthumously, with a ghost-writer providing much of the final chapter, although few of their countryfolk appreciated just how literal that explanation had been. And as for Juan Tzimisces…

“It’s not even that they’re actually overly aggressive, is it?” Amey sighed. “Not like Allemali or owt… They’re just a tad…”

“Robust.”

“Yeah. Spirited.”

“Spirited or not, my ankle isn’t going to hold up for another forty-five minutes of that,” Spooner moaned. “Bunch of bloody hackers. ‘Ooh, look at us, lovely cuddly primitive man, butter wouldn’t melt…’ They let ‘em get away with murder… Told you I saw ‘em plotting pre-match. Standing around eyeing us up, looking for weak spots…”

“So were we.”

“Yeah… But not for flimsy-looking limbs we could snap!”

“I was,” Joel Mercado told him cheerfully. “And t’be fair, I wouldn’t have thought they’re actually capable of ‘plotting’, per se. I reckon they were just trying to get their heads around the idea of eight-syllable nation name…”

“Technically, I think it’s seven syllables and a diphthong, but…”

“You’re a diphtho–”

“Why are we sitting around here like bloody lemons?” Sbaïz whined from the recesses of Kortsarian’s shorts.

“You’d of thought the gaffer’d be back by now,” Ibadulla nodded, “I guess Gwyn’s foot must’ve been pretty well squished after all…”

“It was pointing due south…”

“He might’ve been accosted!” Sbaïz cried, jumping to his feet. “Those ape-men could’ve jumped on him down the tunnel and be pounding our manager into the ground as we speak!”

“Technically, they’re not actually ape-men, the–”

“Or they could be on their way here!” the goalkeeper rallied, warming to his theme, “Armed with clubs and rocks an’ an’ an’ mammoths!”

“Shouldn’t think they let ‘em carry clubs ‘n’ rocks into the stadium, Sbazzo,” Cohen said, damply patting his shoulder, “They don’t even allow plastic bottle tops at the Solidarity…”

“They could pelt us with half-time oranges!”

“Oranges weren’t actually widely cultivated until the Chalcolithic or ‘Copper Age’ period, Joel. They’d be more likely to bring millet, einkorn wheat, spelt…”

Amey furrowed his brow. “Er… E, I, En, Kay, O–”

“Would everybody please shut up!”

Minor fluctuations in weather patterns were observed as far afield as Ariddia and Kelssek as the designated home dressing room bounced. The bulk of Elgin Dannat hefted itself through the door, the disputed border region of his posterior following sheepishly some time later. The manager cast his squad a dismissive glance.

“Austin, you’re up. Lopulalan’s out for at least a fortnight. As fer the rest of you girls… I’m not impressed. You were scared, weren’t you? Of the big meany ape-men and their big hairy feet? Weren’t you?!”

“Sorry, I really must stress this point that they’re not actually ape-me–”

“Shurrup Aaron. I don’t care what they are, or who they are, and I don’t care where they’ve from, and I don’t care what they’ve done, arright?”

The surviving players glanced at each other awkwardly. As Candelariasian international footballers they regularly came into close contact with sentences that shook their world view, but this was an altogether new phenomenon. Was this really Elgin Dannat speaking, he who meticulously compiled subliminal audio tapes for every player pre-game, detailing the particulars of every opposing player? He who would pour over endless DVDs of the next opposition, and force his squad to stare at them for hours on end?

Kortsarian stuck his hand up. “Um?”

“You heard me right, lads… C’mon boys,” he sighed, holding his arms wide open in an almost apologetic gesture, “You all know that stuff is utter tosh, don’t you? You’ve all wondered about it, anyroad. But it’s always worked for me, and it seemed to work for you, so I carried on. But this is different, I get that. It’s the World Cup final! And against those hairy buggers an’ all, in front of billions. Trillions, probably. The worlds are watching you…”

“Yeah, thanks gaffer… Not under enough pressure as it is…”

“But I get that, Eric. And you’ve got to let it go! Your time will come again, lads, if needs be! You’re young enough. And you’re legends whatever happens. Shut it out! It’s just another match. Play you’re natural game, go pressure, no panicking, no hoofing it to Abdul. Put it on the floor, run with it, pass it!”

“They’ll crush us!”

“So let them! Get knocked down, and in the wise words of Chumbawumba; get back up again! And don’t worry about everyone back home, what’ve they go t’do with it?! If you’ve got t’think about someone else, think about yer, yer, mothers! Or think about those wazzocks in Albrecht whose grundies are getting twisty just ‘cos we’re playing cavemenfromanalternatereality! Doesn’t make a blind bit o’ difference to them if we win or lose, does it? So fer God’s sake, do it fer you! ‘Cos the last thing you going t’want is t’look back on this day, forty years from now, and know that you lost the World Cup ‘cos you was scared o’ loosing! Not many people’ve said this to you, boys, ‘cos you’re Candelariasians. We’re a bunch o’ bloody pee see lefties and we haven’t got a fuckin’ clue, but I’ll tell you this fer nothing: You’re better than them! Now go out there an’ bloody prove it!”

With a neolithic roar, the Candelariasians poured back out into the tunnel. Cohen hung back and grinned at the manager.

“Elgin… You really suck at inspirational speeches, y’know?”

Dannat grinned back. “It’s a damn good job I’m only dealing with you bunch of pansies, then, isn’t it? As much as anything else, I can’t stay that common for any length of time… Oh, and Niv?”

“Yeah?”

“That Tug-Ug’s got a weak left ankle and he’s a right one for getting left marooned in the opposition half when he’s on the attack. You might want to let him come onto you, if you’re feeling quick enough. Particularly if you’ve got Amey on the overlap.”

Cohen nodded. “Thanks, gaffer. I’ll have a go…”

***

“…ere’s the full-time whistle, it’s C&M one, the Holy Empire one, and we’re in for thirty more minutes of this… I’m not sure whether I can take it, John.”

“Eh? Of course you can. It’s your job. Honestly John, we’ve got a handful of minutes until we get extra-time underway in the World Cup final, and you’re already trying to fill them with inane chatter? What’s the matter with you?!”

“I’m sorry, John, I –”

“I mean, would you hear a brain surgeon shrugging his shoulders and saying: ‘You know what, I don’t think I can face another brain, John, let’s go home early’?”

“I suppose not. Sorry, I –”

“You’ve let yourself down here, you know?”

“I know… We’re currently going live to millions though John, so perhaps it would be best if we returned the matter in hand…”

“Well, alright… But don’t think we won’t be having this out when we get back home, young man!”

“Sorry, John. Well, this is the twelfth World Cup final to go to extra time, seven of those have gone to penalties as well, so strap yourselves in everybody, ‘cos we’ll be staying up late tonight! The players out there, certainly the Candelariasians, really do look on their knees, completing a few final stretches, wobbling each other’s legs, and you wonder where the goals are going to come from here…”

“Very much so, John. Since we’re flagellating ourselves with mindless statistics at the moment, I’ll also add that what we just witnessed there was the lowest-scoring final, at least as far as the ninety goes, since Bedistan ousted Starblaydia by two goals to one back at World Cup Thirty, and the first one-all draw since Starblaydia and Rejistania were locked at one apiece at World Cup Twenty-Five. I don’t suppose that really means much, but it’s something to say to fill dead air, and that’s what’s important.”

“Yes, as we can relive those goals once more, Amey’s opener… Really was a lovely cross from Cohen, not ten minutes into the second period, completely outfoxing Tug-Ug, and a fine header from the Caires man… But that really just fired up the Empire, controlling the game really for the second half, finding that equaliser tucked away by Rug-Ug… But was this now the key moment, in the game’s dying seconds? Ug-Ug, with a truly fantastic chance to put away the winner, a glorious hard smash, but Sbaïz makes the save, and how crucial could that missed opportunity prove? Ug-Ug patting the ‘keeper on the shoulder in acknowledgement for his fine stop, and now that the Chelmar FC man has been coaxed back down from the top of his goalnet we can get back underway… Although I think, Keenan…?”

“Yes John, I’m back down on the sidelines, and Dannat is making his third change, and it’s Zachary Adekunde! Choosing to fight fire with fire, the big man on for the exhausted Spooner, but with Neal and Lloyd already on that gives a distinctly inexperienced look to the C&M side now, and it does mean Dannat really has played his final card, John…”

“Aye, thanks Keenan, and as we get underway once more… John? We’re throwing the youngest of the Adekundes into the mix here, your thoughts?”

“Well, we’re looking at a fine player here, undoubtedly. Still young, can still improve, eight goals in twenty for Radyukevich this term, but it’s hardly a natural partnership with Ibadulla. It’s all about size and power here now, that’s all Dannat can hope for… The Holy Empire dominating possession in these early stages again, though…”

“Yes, Nic Lloyd just being eased off the ball here, he’s really no replacement for Kortsarian. Hug-Ug will have a little run, but he can’t find Bug-Ug. It’s all getting rather scrappy, but what would you expect after such an arduous competition? The Empire going to penalty kicks against both Ad’ihan and Starblaydia… but this is Lug-Ug now, will find Ug-Ug, long ball, might… Bug-Ug can’t get a toe on it, and it comes to Sbaïz… Out to Neal, and he can evade Hug-Ug here and find Cohen, back to Neal, back to Cohen, there’s some good movement in the box here, beats Pug-Ug, Cohen can cross, it’s Adekunde, a header down and IT’S IB! A! DUL! LA! ABDUL IBADULLA WALKS IT INTO THE NET!!! What a wunderful goal, a wunderful finish, it makes it two-one to C&M, this is just…”

Aino stared in utter bemusement. This wasn’t how the prisoners were supposed to behave, he was quite certain of that. They were a disparate bunch of humans, from captured soldiers to residents of Gordon Bay City foolish enough both to wander out of their homes and attempt to tackle their squalid little port’s new occupiers head-on. There was even the occasional abductee of weeks or years past among the group, those who hadn’t proven as willing as others to embrace the obvious joy of life among the Kolan. They were far too dangerous to leave milling about the town – though Aino failed to understand the reasoning behind this, given that the ‘Candelariasians’ were self-evidently inferior beings in every way – but Leohi had insisted that they would be treated as fairly as possible. She was like that, sometimes. Aino had known her all his life, but her fickle nature mystified him even now.

In any case, they weren’t supposed to be congregating around the talking box for hours at a time. It was football, and Aino was familiar enough with the concept, but the delirium that was overtaking these men and women was terrifying to behold. It took them at least a minute to calm down and stop cuddling each other, before their eyes returned to the box.

“…ohen can pump this one into the area, it’s a real mess in here, Nug-Ug can try and clear, Zachary Adekunde can… ADEKUNDE CAN!! ADEKUNDE DOES!! IT’S ANOTHER HEADER, IT’S THREE-ONE!! INCREDIBLE! INCREDIBLE!! Oh… Incredible…”

And there it was again! Aino glanced desperately at the guards, who returned his look with shrugs. They knew as well as he that they could break the flimsy little ‘Candelariasians’ necks as soon as look at them, but what would be the point? But something had to be done, surely. Again they were jumping up and down, screaming like monkeys, sobbing… Aino had never seen some of them cry, not in all the days, or weeks, or in one or two cases years that they’d been held captive, but they were balling now.

“I just do not understand it…” he breathed.

An elderly human resting against the adjacent wall turned and grinned at him in a most off-putting manner. “Aye… We’re getting that picture…”

“But… Why does it matter? Your little lives rest in our palms, and yet you all express overwhelming pleasure when a new immigrant to your ‘country’ performs a little trick! It makes no sense…”

“It’s a release, lad, more’n anything else. But they’d be like this at the best of times. It’s the bloody World Cup final! And we’re winning,” the man added, shaking his head in sudden, renewed disbelief. “We’re actually going to win this…”

“I was aware of the importance of this activity to the ‘Candelariasian’ mind, but… They never said it was anything quite like this…”

The faerie watched as the one wearing the word ‘Cohen’ danced with the ball, leaving his foe screaming in exasperation. The humans around him cheered. Cohen lost the ball, and the one called Ug-Ug took the ball, evading challenge after challenge as he drove forwards. It was… beautiful. So why were the humans booing him?

“You despise him, because he is from another country?”

“I wouldn’t say despise, per se… Most of these people’d happily buy him a beer any other time. Or a yak’s blood and milk, whatever. It’s just, right now, he’s the enemy. More so even that you lot, I reckon…”

“But he is one of you! Whatever biological divergences aside, he is your species! Truly you are strange creatures…” He paused thoughtfully. “Er… And can any ‘country’ partake of this activity?”

“Er… Probably. I s’pose so. I wouldn’t go getting any ideas though, mate, you’d be laughed out of the park…”

“But why?”

“‘Cos most of you have never seen a football in your life? You wouldn’t have the first clue… Now just shurrup a minute…”

“…kunde will take this off his chest, rounds Pug-Ug… And dare I say it, but it looks like it’s all finished, but he’ll cross… OH IT IS NOW, IT’S FOUR!! It’s four! It’s Lawrence Amey! IT’S NINETY-NINE ON THE CLOCK, FORGET YOUR FINAL FIFTEEN, IT’S ALL FINISHED HERE, IT’S C&M FOUR!! Four-one, Lawrence Amey, another header, it’s done, it’s over, AND IT’S OURS!!”

The old human stood alone as his countryfolk piled on top of each other once again, wiping away a tear. Aino turned to face him, and memories began to click into place.

“You are the Mark Baker?” he whispered, awed. “Brother of Deborah Baker? Patriarch of the… team, yes? You are the genius, they say?”

“Eh? Oh, I wouldn’t go that far,” Baker muttered, his eyes now firmly fixed upon the screen. The ramblings of the faerie faded into the background as reality hit him. They’d won. They’d won without him, and they’d actually won. They’d actually gone and won…

Aino stared at the dancing Candelariasians in the little room at Holmes Stadium alike. “But… But this is wonderful! How have we existed without this activity to call our own?! We must take it to the people! And Mark Baker, you must be our… coach, yes? We are superior beings, the… the Cup, will be ours in months! It will be so beautiful…”

Baker shrugged, oblivious. “Probably. Christ… We’ve actually gone and won…”

***

“…walks up the hallowed steps of the Holmes Stadium, Joel Sbaïz leading the way…”

“Are there actually hallowed steps at the Holmes Stadium?”

“I… No idea. Let’s say there is. Diego Fernando Pappas collects his medal, and Zachary Adekunde, Enrique Silva de Aviz… Probably his final international outing, and what a way to go out, you couldn’t script it… Lawrence Amey, man of the final, really… Joel Mercado… This of course the first ever World Cup final to feature two Joels on the winning team…”

“Really?”

“No idea. Just made it up. Tom Durrant, Austin Neal… Aaron Kortsarian hobbling past, there… Well… What a few weeks, John. Field Hockey World Cup, could be happy with that. The Cafundelense David Bowie Contest…”

“It’s been a banner month for Candelariasian sport alright…”

“Vavasour, another injury victim, Abdul Ibadulla… And after all of this lot, and Elgin Dannat has picked up his gong, we’ll see Niv Cohen. And when you think of the handprints that he’ll be following in, just those from his lifetime… Law, Xenakis, Kyaw, Ellis, Xu, Haynes, Myo, Kn-Dg, Shockey, Richards, possibly, Nickel, Perheira, Hawk, Diamontii Di Bradini… And to that list, as he raises it aloft now, we can add Niv Cohen, of CANDELARIA AND MARQUEZ!”

“Oh… He’s not gone and dropped it, has he?”

“Tch…”

***

The Albrecht Herald Online>News>WC45 Aftermath>Day 6

CMSC to tap foot in threatening manner ~ CMSC1 bosses will politely ask all members of the victorious Big Blues team to return to work at their club sides this weekend, following a fifth day of celebrations.

Much of the squad, along with the trophy itself, were in Marquez this morning, with street parties in Miranda, Onwere and Chapon. The tour is expected to move on to Melin and Nader this afternoon. CAMAFA bosses have promised imminent visits to the Outlying islands, while Quentin Vokolos has also claimed that his organisation will ‘endeavour to make a future visit to Gordon Bay City a key aspiration’, with the SARS-ravaged town still on lock-down to the outside world.

This lunchtime however, an official statement from CMSC President Robert Gilbert, released on the league’s website, stressed that “club football is alive and well despite this utterly wonderful result, and it remains of the utmost importance that our victorious players get back to their day jobs so we can finish this season’s competition, which is overrunning something shocking, in case you people hadn’t noticed. There’ll be plenty of time to kiss the cup, or whatever, at a later day.”

Eric O’Brien, for his part, is expected to link up with the Marquez-Onwere squad on Saturday, following a personal ‘Rubbing it in’ tour of Sorthern Northland, during which he presented a specially-minted World Cup winner’s medal to Jake Swailes, the St. Patrick’s trainee who briefly appeared for the Big Blues during a key pre-Cup friendly, in honour of his services.

The CAMAFA’s major concern as of now however involves the immediate future of Elgin Dannat, who has yet to commit himself to a new contract. A CAMAFA insider told the Herald; “We’re all well aware that Elgin is a pretty hot property at the moment, and obviously he could walk into just about any club or international job on the worlds [sic], or take up any lucrative football consultancy role he was offered. We’re extremely confident however that he’ll want to try and join that august list of coaches who have won the World Cup twice, and have no doubt that we’ll be able to tie him down to a long-term contract within a fortnight.”

Local authorities across C&M now estimate the clean-up operation following Thursday’s national holiday and the subsequent tour as stretching into the tens of millions, but the stimulating effects on the islands’ economy may take months to measure fully.

The Big Blues won the final match four-one, with a brace from Lawrence Amey completed either side of extra-time goals by Abdul Ibadulla and Zachary Adekunde.

You know this already, but we thought we’d mention it again.

Four-one…

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