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Jeruselem Government News

World Cup 43 Wrap Up by Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas

Hello folks, Marie here. Normally my mother would do this but she's busy being the Jeruselem FA president. So, like bike-face is doing it instead. Jeruselem got draw into group D while Jeru FC got group F. Merginn's SN got Group E ...

Group D is a nice group for us. Lowest ranked team is Terreiro de Ogum at 41st who face an uphill task. 25th ranked Rennidan who qualified for last World Cup, are here too. Top team is the SLANI who are 3rd ranked while the Princesses are ranked 11th still. We're pretty happy with this group since we avoided some teams we'd prefer to play.

First up we face the SLANI. This is the big game right here. We'd be happy with a draw but a loss is not something we'd like to think about. A win is the aim but we can't be too fussy against a top 5 team. Rennidan are up next, we should win this but nothing is certain like 1-4 loss against 1093-1337-land. Nothing less than a win is what we want. Last is Terreiro de Ogum, if we don't win this ... we are in trouble unless we have won the first two already.

Group F has Jeru FC. Jeru FC are up against it! Ranked 11x3, the Cannons will be least favoured team here. F is for F**KED. Demot ranked 18th as well as lucky 13th ranked Bazalonia (yes, the same one in the qualification stage) are here. And the 5th ranked Purple Menace are here ... yes, they follow us or Jeru FC around.

Group E contains SN with our Merginn in charge. As it happens Ryan Greenly's home team ... 9th ranked Qazox are here. Krytenia (29th) and Yafor 2 (15th) are here. We think SN has good chance to make the 2nd round.

JGN and Naked News Jeruselem will have live TV and Internet broadcasts of Jeru FC and Jeruselem games. SN games will be available on delayed broadcast. Since Jeruselem fans cannot travel to Elf-land to watch our team and we aren't sure what's going on in Vephrall with regards to Jeruselem fans seeing Jeru FC games. We will have big outdoor screens set-up in Jeruselem for those places without home television or Internet (places where is there is power). Don't forget the live streaming on mobile phones for those who are mobile.

I will also be running a daily blog too so stay tuned for my updates via my web site. I'm looking for someone who can speak, read and write Elf and is also a Jeruselemite to come along. It's funny people think I'm an Elf because I'm so short. I assure everyone I'm a Homo Sapiens Sapiens or Homo Sapiens Sapiens Dallas ... you know.

VALANORA GROUPS

GROUP D
(41) Terreiro de Ogum
(11) Jeruselem
(3) Capitalizt SLANI
(25) Rennidan

VEPHRALL GROUPS


GROUP E GROUP F
(24) Sorthern Northland (33) Jeru FC
(29) Krytenia (18) Demot
(15) Yafor 2 (13) Bazalonia
(9) Qazox (5) Starblaydia


Group D
MD1:
Terreiro de Ogum vs Rennidan @ Angelotic Temple
Jeruselem vs Capitalizt SLANI @ Duran Palace
MD2:
Terreiro de Ogum vs Capitalizt SLANI @ The Battleground
Jeruselem vs Rennidan @ Hatire Memorial
MD3:
Terreiro de Ogum vs Jeruselem @ White Fortress
Capitalizt SLANI vs Rennida @ Duran Palace

Group F
MD1:
Jeru FC vs Starblaydia @ Peppatzerris
Demot vs Bazalona @ Becugheralang
MD2:
Jeru FC vs Bazalonia @ Becugheralang
Demot vs Starblaydia @ Neoss
MD3:
Jeru FC vs Demot @ Neoss
Bazalonia vs Starblaydia @ Peppatzerris

QSPN.Com World Cup Coverage

Due to the unfortunate events of yesterday, QNN is unable to continue broadcasting its coverage of the World Cup.

WORLD CUP SCHEDULE
MD1: #24 Sorthern Northland @ Becugheralang, Vephrall
MD2: #29 Krytenia @ Becugheralang, Vephrall
MD3: #15 Yafor 2 @ Apenbast, Vephrall

History vs. World Cup opponents:

Sorthern Northland:
World Cup meetings: 1st meeting
World Cup Qualifying meetings: (2), WC36Q: MD2 @SN Win 3-2; MD9 vs. SN Win 6-1.
Other meetings: (1) Oxen Cup 7 MD4 Win 1-0
OVERALL RECORD vs. Sorthern Northland: 3-0-0 (Qazox)

Krytenia:
World Cup meetings: 2nd Meeting (WC40 MD3- Lost 1-3)
World Cup Qualifying meetings: (2), WC33Q: MD2 @ Kry Win 3-2; MD9 vs. Kry Win 3-1.
Other meetings: NONE
OVERALL RECORD vs. Krytenia: 2-0-1 (Qazox)

Yafor 2:
World Cup meetings: 2nd Meeting (WC40 MD1- Lost 1-3)
World Cup Qualifying meetings: (2), WC37Q: MD6 vs. Y2 Win 1-0; MD9 @ Y2 Win 2-1.
Other meetings: NONE
OVERALL RECORD vs. Yafor 2: 2-0-1 (Qazox)

So Qazox has some history with the three other teams, and in fact has an 7-0-2 record against their opponents, but both of the losses came 12 years ago in the World Cup itself. So Qazox perhaps has revenge upon its mind with Krytenia and Yafor 2.

All of Qazox' games will be carried live on QSPN, and the entire World Cup on either QSPN or QSPN2.

from the Meice Journal:

World Cup squad features abundance of new faces
by Mir Coteskais

SOLONDS -- Parker Law waited until just about the very last possible minute to announce the Vephrall squad for World Cup 43, which is about to begin. It comes as a bit of a shock that Law has chosen to retain just nine players from the previous campaign. All of the players from WC42 are still playing professionally somewhere with the exception of Avilass Gackbang, who has since taken up a coaching position at Arrigo Portuguese, though several other players including prominent defender Thug Umsaasad are expected to retire at the end of this season. Several others, including Cafundéu-based Dotos Ponten and Soscren Pranasik, announced their international retirement following the previous Cup.

Law's new-look World Cup 43 squad features a bumper crop of midfield talent. Each of the eight midfielders on the roster could make a good argument to start, but Law has opted for experience in his starting eleven, having selected Umsaasad Jehoepe, Demot-based Scunt Boimoks, and Lit Tesaire of Oldbridge City. The spotlight, however, will be on striker Mantlom Cinerne, regarded by many as the best Vephrese striker ever, if not the best Vephrese player overall. Some even say his talent almost rivals that of the six Vanorians in the VTF, though this is doubtful.

Despite the home-field advantage that the White and Gold will enjoy throughout (unless they somehow reach the final), most say that this campaign will be considered a success if the team just makes it out of the group stage. That is not a trivial task; Vephrall will have to contend with #2 Bostopia, as well as a strong Holy Empire side. In addition, Prux is one of those pesky fourth seeds that seems likely to spring an upset.

Vephrall's first match will be against Prux at Fonong-Pelle in Solonds.

Ryan Greenly was at the Jeruselem airport with his Jeru FC team leaving for Vephrall. He was looking worried and stressed. Princess Jacinta decide to cheer him up.

Jacinta: Cheer up Ox man!
Ryan: Oh hi Jacinta ...
Jacinta: What's the problem?
Ryan: I don't know what's going on at home. I'm worried about everyone there.

Jacinta: I don't know either but ... if you can't go home, you can stay here!
Ryan: I like Jeruselem but I'm Qazoxian.
Jacinta: My mother is Ariddian, Ariddia is a great place but she lives here.
Ryan: She spent a lot of time in Qazox too.

Jacinta: You don't need to go home, we'll take care of you.
Ryan: Thanks for the kind words, but I always think of home.
Jacinta: Many people from other places live here in Jeruselem, even if they aren't Jeruselemites.
Ryan: At least I have a job here.

Jacinta: Jane Sanderson of Ariddia and Alfredo Neves of Cafundeu live here! So can you.
Ryan: I don't have any family here.
Jacinta: You can make one, plenty of girls ready for a man like you.
Ryan: I'm not looking for a girl as yet.

Jacinta: Planning to go home?
Ryan: I don't know, we lost our dear leader.
Jacinta: I'm sure there is someone to take over.
Ryan: I don't think our dear leader has six billion kids like your mother.

Jacinta: You'll have friends here, like us! Plenty of single Dallas girls to choose from.
Ryan: I just want to get Jeru FC to the 2nd round for now.
Jacinta: Any nice army girls to take advantage of?
Ryan: Army girls ... not really ...

Jacinta: I'm a Jeru FC girl.
Ryan: I know but you're different.
Jacinta: Hey, cheer up. When you come back here, they'll be someone to take of you.
Ryan: Well, hopefully I have functioning homeland too.

Odds on a last-16 elimination for Kura-Pelland tumbled to just 1.7 on the betting exchanges overnight as the World Cup draw presented a very easy group stage but a probable nightmarish second round clash with third-ranked Capitalizt SLANI, and the prospect of near-home advantage was denied them as they were not drawn into a group played in Vephrall.

Group C contains the lowest-ranked top seeds (Cafundéu) along with Kura-Pelland, who are the lowest-ranked second seeds. Should be the perfect draw for an upset, but with Lovisa players having rejected RP-inin altogether after reports of unpleasant side-effects from their low-purity manufacturer 'LovisaWIN', and Jaseuyeon's football association suffering from an inability to buy RP-inin due to frozen credit markets, Kura-Pelland's route to the last sixteen seems unexpectedly simple, despite the relatively high ranking of Lovisa for a fourth seed.

However, unless Kura-Pelland can top the group they will almost certainly face Capitalizt SLANI in the second round. Despite their association also suffering from funding issues, they are almost certainly just too good for Kura-Pelland. However, another possibility is a clash with Jeruselem, who topped Kura-Pelland's qualifying group by two points. The two sides split home victories in their clashes in qualifying, and a rematch on neutral territory would almost certainly be close with Jeruselem likely the slight favourites; their RP-inin consumption is believed to be the highest in the world.

Group A is clearly the Group of Death, with the hosts and top-ranked Valanora heading it and the fading but still dangerous Az-cz the bottom seeds; third seeds Candelaria And Marquez will be boosted by their RP-inin consumption, but affected by playing two non-human sides. The group is completed by Tynelia, who will not be happy with this draw one bit. If they were in Kura-Pelland's group they could walk into the last sixteen; as it is, a group-stage elimination would be no shock whatsoever.

Kura-Pelland's opening match is probably the most important of them all, against Jaseuyeon at Aranfield Bridge in Everlin.

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Star-News-Today-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama Screwed Over in Draw

Milchama got f'ed over again in the World Cup by being drawn in Group B. While the opponents in Group B are all easy and the Warriors should advance easily through their group they again are one group away from the monopolists of the World Cup, Valanora. Whose comically high rating and team full of experience and actual talent, unlike the crap of this generation.

Anyway their team has elves. ELVES! They are immortal, and they don't age to the point where they can't play football. We would have the best team in the world right now if we could put Marc J. Floren, Avi Belmowitz, J.J. Faren, Dunston Copperlee, Chase Mergle, Johnny Rintell, etc. in one team. Would Starblaydia ever lose a World Cup if all their players from the World Cups of the mid-20s could come back and play?

What about a team like Commerce Heights, I mean SLANI, who could call back players going back from World Cup 3? Damn that would be one hell of a team. Or The Holy Empire/Alistair I Frosticus/AIF or whoever who could call back players reaching back from World Cup 1, wait a second nevermind. Anyway the point is it's impossible to beat people who never age.

With this in mind the MFA has announced a program to bring back the youth of Milchama and will try to create an all Milchama All-Star team for the next World Cup. In the mean time we're left with this crappy lot of players for this World Cup. What does that mean? We'll probably lose in octofinals, again!, for the third straight cup.

Go Warriors?

Oh yeh here's our actual group:
GROUP B
(10) Daehanjeiguk- Asian bastards. They were never all that good, I have no idea how they got to 10th in the world. Have they even made outrounds at a World Cup? We have no idea. Anyway they should be easy.
(26) Septentrionia- French. I have no more to say. They're loser instinct should make victory highly assured.
(7) Milchama- That's us. We're mad, guaranteeing, defeat actually. That's kinda sad isn't it? Oh well.
(20) Wentland- They've been around since World Cup 26 and yet are barely top 20. What does that mean? They suck, HARD! Another easy win.

Thus we get 9 points and the consolation of getting to the quarterfinals before we get utterly crushed by lucky, scheming, cheating, bastardly, elves.

The flight back to my small private island (Malkoaland? Isle o' Malkoa?, I need to name it) was uneventful. A private jet soaring through the skies stuffed full of liquor and models with me at the epicentre of the attention was, sadly, uneventful. I think I'm still broken in the head.

The weather here is tropical, which is to say hot, which is to say half my ill-gotten fortune will no doubt be going towards sunscreen. I still read papers from Rennidan, where I see some treating me as a criminal whilst others believe me to be an anti-hero of sorts. I don't care what they think of me, to be honest, I just find the muddlings of people amusing. All I know is that my pride and glory, the Rennidan Eagles, have made it through to the group stage of the World Cup. I know now that we've drawn the Iron Might of SLANI, and the memories of long ago come flooding back.

I started my international football career out on a pitch, facing off against the SLANI side. I had one of the most successful goalkeeping games of my career against them, parrying or catching twenty four of the twenty five shots they had on target. That one ball that went past my outstretched fingers still haunts me. I could have made all the difference to our history that day.

But it's thoughts like this that get at me. The could-have-beens and should-have-happened. What if I have saved that goal? What if I hadn't crippled my hand? What if I had kissed my first crush as she drunkenly slurred her affection for me at her party? What if I had been on that flight with my last crush as it spiralled to its fiery demise.

What if I hadn't just stolen eighty two millions golden crowns from Rennidan and fled to my own tropical island?

And, the most important one of all...

What if I wasn't crazy?






GROUP D
(41) Terreiro de Ogum
(11) Jeruselem
(3) Capitalizt SLANI
(25) Rennidan


Rennidan Group Stage Schedule
MD1: vs. Terreriro de Ogum
MD2: vs. Jeruselem
MD3: vs. Capitalizt SLANI

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: @ Krytenia 1-2 (@ Adanac)
MD1: vs (46) MSS 3-0 (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Jinhwangdo - 60,000)
MD2: @ (118) Dariusville 2-0
MD3: vs (159) Vlaskin 4-0 (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD4: @ (19) Demot 2-1 (@ Masteron Stadium, Santa Rosa - 78,000)
MD5: vs (31) Krytenia 3-3 (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju - 80,000)
MD6: @ (66) Greal 3-2 (@ Sasha Stadium - 120,000)
MD7: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant 6-1 (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MQ1: vs Taeshan 4-2 (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium, Daebo - 50,000)
MD8: @ (46) MSS 1-5
MD9: vs (118) Dariusville 4-0 (@ Oromokjei Football Stadium, Oromokjei - 25,000)
MD10: @ (159) Vlaskin 1-2
MD11: vs (19) Demot 1-1 (@ Waella Football Stadium, Hanseong - 43,000)
MD12: @ (31) Krytenia 1-0
MD13: vs (66) Greal 3-0 (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD14: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant 3-0

World Cup 43 - Group B
MD1: vs Wentland (@ Artani)
MD2: vs Milchama (@ White Fortress)
MD3: vs Septentrionia (@ Duran Palace)

Seunghwa had been transferred from the hospital in SNE to a Han hospital in Gwangju. Her condition had been steadily improving, which had doctors immediately puzzled. According to her gene assay chips, she was suffering from extreme emotional duress for the past few weeks - which had made her especially susceptible to injury. Her bones were not brittle, but certainly if you smashed a hammer against it (and not that you would...), her bones would fracture at that easily. But over her stay, she had been recovering rather rapidly, as if the stay in the hospital was improving her medical state. Indeed, her emotional duress was becoming increasingly stable.

Perhaps she lost a loved one? The doctors wrote it off as a complication of personal history.

Undoubtedly, news would find its way back home to Hansu, who had been waiting anxiously for several days. The news arrived not long after the property on Jungan Street had been secured, but before Mr. Baek had to return home. Graciously, he offered a ride down to Gwangju, while Yu, Chan, and Hong stayed with Mr. Pak to help rebuild the livelihood he had once known. It was a long ride to the train station, where the car loading dock was extremely slow (people were riding the trains to get to Gwangju, which was widely recognized as the "central" hub for leaving the country to go anywhere else - without a doubt, the trains were driving people wanting to visit Valanora for the first time in... ever?) so they had to wait for several hours even for that. The train ride itself was very short, only 10 hours (IRL, the ride takes about 20 hours). After they had arrived, Baek drove Hansu immediately to the hospital where they had to wait even longer to see Seunghwa - filling out paperwork ("Yes! I am Seunghwa's father!"), showing said paperwork, verifying citizenship, and paying a visitor's fee (to visit someone in critical care).

Seunghwa woke up and saw her father looking at her in the window. The doctors were still analyzing her blood components, but they were almost done. Seeing that Hansu was standing outside, the head physician went out to meet him and explained the situation to him. After a brief Q&A period, the doctor gave Hansu permission to visit Seunghwa in her room.

They had a long stare. Seunghwa was in a miserable state, Hansu perhaps worse.

"Do you know that when a parent sees their child in the grips of death, that they would rather die than see any harm come to their child?" Hansu asked her.

She shook her head.

"I've been waiting for two weeks!" he yelled almost in furor. It was a surprising turn of events. "Two weeks! And I thought you were going to Hanseong to watch a game! And you disappear from the country to watch another game!"

The doctors all around heard the yelling and went to the room, to defuse the situation. Fortunately for Hansu, the situation was never in crisis. After his yelling, he went to the bedside and hugged Seunghwa (one doctor thought he was choking her, but the other doctors knew better). Seunghwa hugged him back.

"I'm sorry, abeojji!"

"I'm sorry too!"

They cried and wept their eyes out, leaving of the doctors watching emotionally exposed. The crowd quickly dispersed, leaving the two alone for a long time. Hansu and Seunghwa had given their miseries a good bawling; and now they were together again, they wouldn't be separated for a long time.

But misery was not over. Misery did not completely forget them.

THE EPISTLES OF POLYCARP


Polycarp's Letter to Dancougar

To the Tribe of Dan: Greetings

Repent! For the hour of the World Cup First Round is at hand! We are aware that your team presents an obstacle in the path of qualification for the latter stages; does it not say in Genesis 49:17 that "Dan shall be a serpent by the way, an adder in the path, that biteth the horse heels, so that his rider shall fall backward". I can find less mention of cougars, but I assuredly know that they too have a nasty bite.

Then be warned! The hour of judgement is at hand, and only one team may prevail; unless the match ends in a draw, or both squads qualify for the next round, but why let logic get in the way of an eschatological apocalypse, I ask you?

Yours in Christ

Fr. Polycarp the Venerable
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee



Polycarp's Letter to Ad'ihan

To the fourteenth-ranked squad: greetings

Repent! For the hour of the World Cup First Round is at hand! We are aware that your team presents an obstacle in the path of qualification for the latter stages; does it not say in Matthew 1:17 that "So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations." Thus does the Lord our God put special -even holy - significance on those who are ranked fourteenth.

No doubt you plan on putting this mantle of holiness upon yourselves, but we shall be wary, and we shall be ready. Your hierocoach, the man called Evans, shall not find us unprepared.

Yours in Christ

Fr. Polycarp the Venerable
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee


Polycarp's Letter to Yafalonia and Bazor 2

To the confused nation of two parts: greetings

Repent! For the hour of the World Cup First Round is at hand! We are aware that your team presents an obstacle in the path of qualification for the latter stages; does it not say in Acts 19:32 that "Some therefore cried one thing, and some another: for the assembly was confused: and the more part knew not wherefore they were come together". Does this not describe your squad? Verily, doth thou knowest yet why thou hast come together as one? If not, then what hope do you have of qualification for the second round?

Yet we shall be wary, for even the confused and disunited can have a moment of genius, can find themselves scoring against superior, more organised, and more monastic opposition. Rest assured that we shall not take thee lightly, though thou hast shown a dual face to the world.


Yours in Christ

Fr. Polycarp the Venerable
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee


------------------------------------------------------------------

A Statement From the First Hierarch Regarding an Incident in Church of the Holy Sepulchre in the Jeruselem Reality

Dear Brothers,

It has come to our attention that an unfortunate incident occured recently at the site of Our Lord and Saviour's tomb in the city of Jerusalem, in the nation of Jeruselem.

Let me assure you that, as your First Hierarch, I have studied the incident closely, as well as the statements from the nations of Milchama and Jeruselem requesting that action be taken.

It is from these studies that I am now in a position to make a statement:

it was all the Armenians' fault, and let's hope they don't do it again.

Yours in Christ

Fr. Polycarp the Venerable
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee

URKES

By Alfredo, Lord Tennysones


It little profits that an excellent player,
By this still pitch, among these barren grounds,
Match'd with an aged coach, I mete and dole
Unequal skills unto a savage squad,
That play, and run, and pass, and know not me.

I cannot rest from scoring; I will score
In every match I can. All times I have enjoy'd
Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those
That played with me, and alone; on shore, and when
Thro' scudding drifts the skilled Bostopians
Vex our game. I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known,-- cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honor'd of them all,--
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing pitches of windy Vephrall.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'
Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!
As tho' to breathe were life! Life piled on life
Were all too little, and of one to me
Little remains; but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and now I know
Which three squads to store and play against,
And this green spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.

This is my time, mine own time to shine,
And I must leave my sceptre and the Empire,--
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfill
This labour, by skillful play to make mild
All other squads, and thro' many goals
Subdue them so we reach the second round.
Most blameless is he, centred on the sphere
That wins our game, decent enough not to fail
In offices of scoring goals, and pay
Meet adoration to the screaming crowd.
When I am gone, who'll work my work, all mine?

There lies the ground; the crowd now puffs and wails;
There gloom the dark, broad stands. My squad mates,
Souls that have toil'd, and wrought, and thought with me,--
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads,-- you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.
Death closes all; but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.

The lights begin to twinkle from the floodlights;
The long day wanes; the slow moon climbs; the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends.
'T is not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
Bostopia, Vephrall, Prux; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.

It may be that our opponents will beat us down;
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great players of the past, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,--
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football>Opinion
Question Time
By Mack Hession

On the eighty-fifth minute, during the one hundredth and sixty-thirdish match played by the Candelaria And Marquez senior national football team, and in front of some two hundred thousand Taeshanese (never a joyful thought at the best of times), Joe Cunningham extended his right foot to meet a curling Niv Cohen cross and nudged the ball over the line.

It gave the Big Blues a two-all draw in Taeshan, saving the visitors’ blushes and allowing the Candelariasians and Calendaran-Taeshanese in the crowd to resume their we’re-going-and-you-aren’t-na-na-na-na-naa-na baiting. It was a minor moment in a minor game, but it served its purpose – sending C&M finally off on their way to their fourth World Cup finals.

It had been a decent all-round performance, for a meaningless by-the-book friendly encounter, with only Albrecht Turkish goalkeeper Seb Moon coming out of the game knowing that his first cap would surely be his last – neither Sbaïz nor Currey will be at all worried if this is the challenge. But the game still failed to answer any questions, and the previous match – the three-nil drubbing by the Eesseff in Zapata – even fewer.

This is, in one key way, a World Cup of certainties. Few across the globe seem at all comfortable with the notion that anyone other than the Marauders can possibly lift the title in Raynor City. They are the (almost) undisputed ‘best side in the world’, and the rest of us are merely gunning for second. Are the Big Blues truly in with a shout of that accolade, or will this merely be an exercise in avoiding embarrassment?

Having nothing better to do, and seeing this option as being preferable to padding around the flat in my socks and waiting for the Candelarias Rugby Union Champions play-offs to get underway, I took it upon myself to answer the Big Questions.

So, how good are we, then? ~ God knows.

Alright, fine; but what better answer can one give? The Big Blues’ performance in qualifying was utterly inconclusive, beating Cafundéu comfortably at home but narrowly avoiding a thrashing away, being held in both legs by Rennidan, going nuclear on Colbourne and Universitus but picking up just a single point against Cassadaigua. What kind of conclusion can you draw from that?

The in-and-out nature of the side has been echoed in the performances of individual players. Dionísio Madeira Lobos bookended the campaign with fine performances and six goals, and his consistently good form for club and, as it were, country permits him the occasional lapse. But he was far from the only one – perhaps save Connor Mengucci, no member of the twenty-three strung together consistent performances throughout. The plus side of all this is that none of our opponents will have the faintest clue as to how we’re going to perform, but neither do we – nor the players themselves.

We can rest assured that these players are good. They are. They have to be. How else could Arrigo Portuguese make the Champions’ Cup semi-finals having stormed through their initial group with almost embarrassing ease? Be they for Caires City, the Albrecht giants, Petardos S/A or anyone else; Candelariasian stars have performed at the highest level of the club game. Claiming world-class pros may be a little beyond us, and perhaps that’s for others to judge in any case, but we can be under no illusion that these little islands, nestled in etcetera and so forth, have produced international stars worthy of the top table. Now they just have to put it all together.

How are we going to play, then? ~ Err…

Kris Healy did not carve out a reputation for tactical flexibility while at Albrecht Turkish, and his move from 4-4-2 to 4-2-3-1 for the victorious Cup of Harmony campaign came about more by luck than judgement. These days he seldom countenances the idea of playing any other way, in common with variations-on-a-theme now ubiquitous in the CMSC for the likes of Caires City, Cathedral City, KT Hotspur and Green Island.

Yet his may just have to – for Niv Cohen and Aaron Kortsarian, seemingly guaranteed starts for the first game, are natural wingers and with Dionísio in support of… Ibadulla?... the danger of leaving gigantic holes in the centre of the park is very real. Harris Dixon, who may on his day be one of the better right-backs in the world, has only recently emerged as a C&M starter for a good reason – he cannot easily be shoehorned into Healy’s C&M set-up in the same way as the more gung-ho William Burgos of years past. If he does choose to keep things much as they are against Tynelia, then Healy may live or die by that call alone.

How deep is our squad (how deep, how deep, is our squad, we really need to learn)? ~ Cripes…

Andrés Quirot is perhaps the best example of a player plainly out of his depth at this level, at least for now. Jamie González will be out injured for the first game at the very least, Robin Jacobs has yet to really tear things up internationally, and Richard Johansson is basically here because he’s Tom Smith’s mate. It all begs the question…

Why the hell don’t we name new squads for the World Cup proper, like wot we do for the CoH? ~ God knows…

It’d seem so sensible. Granted, nobody else does it – but nobody else writes daily reports on their entire league season.

To put it another way, wouldn’t Healy dearly love to dump some of the above in favour of Candelariasians – CMSC-based or otherwise – who are actually performing right now and could offer a spark of something new? And, with under-21 internationals increasingly looking a beast of the past, surely the time is right to start introducing the kids at a much younger age?

Ho-hum…

Ibadulla or Smith? Or Cunningham, for that matter? ~ No idea.

Smith had a fairly poor time of it in Taeshan, but his league form has picked up no end. Young Abdul remains a better fit for this formation, but the goals have yet to completely flow. And then there’s little Joe, a player who has started just seven full internationals but has an astonishing twenty-nine substitute appearances to his name, and sixteen goals that put him third in C&M’s all-time scoring chart. Against all odds, could this cup finally be the making of the Clube Imperial man?

Matteo Corradini? ~ Oh, don’t ask…

He needs to make the semi-finals and then play in either the final or third-place play-off to reach his one hundred caps… which isn’t going to happen, let’s be honest. After his shocking actions against Rennidan there’s more than a little debate over whether he should even be here at all, and it’s even more up in the air as to whether the Albrecht FC warhorse can still perform amongst the world’s best.

Thing is though; if we are to have an unlikely saviour, who’d bet against in being the man in the plastic mask?

Who exactly will be there to cheer our boys to, ahem, victory? ~ Aye, that’s a problem…

Jeruselemites may be not unreasonable banned after the head… severance issues last time around, but many Candelariasians will also find making a return trip to the Eesseff some eight (or possibly sixteen) years on, a tricky challenge indeed. The official party is limited to a couple of thousand at best, and those not going under the CAMAFA’s auspices are doing so under pain of heavy fines and even potential imprisonment.

The current government’s tough stance on Eesseffian human rights abuses, and contact between our two peoples, is to be commended, but one would not wish the Big Blues to suffer as a result. Those Candelariasians who make the competition via Cafundéu will likely be the most vociferous of all – they’ll have certainly paid through the nose to earn their seats, after all – but C&M natives will still be among the smaller contingents of foreign visitors unless a nice long run can somehow be pulled out of the bag.

If we can’t beat Tynelia, we might as well go home, right? ~ Yes. Probably.

And so, having avoided it long enough, we finally come to the group. As my Kura-Pellandi counterpart is so fond of reminding us, our boys are drugged up to their eyelashes compared to the Tynelians; but this reporter was willing to name them as World Cup winners just a few years ago for a reason.

Their qualifying campaign was special indeed, losing just one game – and that was after qualification had already been assured. A perpetual last-sixteen outfit, they missed out only on goal difference last time around. Having played 3-2-3-2 last time around, hitting them for width remains the most plausible opportunity to cause what would still be an upset, and Healy cannot risk a cautious approach – three points is the barest necessity, whatever other voices hoping C&M grind out for a total of four might argue.

Matchday Two… Forget about it, right? ~ Yeah. Probably.

Were the Eesseff very good in Zapata, or were we very bad? Or was that blasted Nethie ref to blame?

We really need a better term of abuse for our neighbours. Suggestions on a postcard…

The worrying point to take from the defeat is that the team may well be almost unchanged, especially if they achieved a good result against Tynelia, though perhaps this time we won’t have anyone shown a hugely dodgy straight red, or concede umpteen silly free-kicks.

On the plus side… Okay, that’s a struggle. But the players have to stop thinking like this is a squad of unstoppable legends. Espy va Drake would slot into just about any club team in the world, but he hasn’t been able to pull Green Island into contention lately, has he? We’ve watched Scott Soldarian in the flesh week-in, week-out, but we can neutralise him… can’t we? Calla Soler may have dragged Soldarian to the Champions’ Cup title, but she’s hardly a replacement for Kiso Night, is she? Laborious Hawk is…

Oh hell.

And howabout the consolation prize? ~ Ah, you mean the third-place play-off?

The easiest game of the lot, at least in theory, is also the last – by which time our World Cup hopes may already be over. At first glance, the name of the opposition does not fill one with confidence, for the five previous meetings with Az-cz have been minor classics all – from an Az-czzer perspective, any road.

Nil-four. Nil-three. Three-six. Two-four. It doesn’t make particularly joyous reading, until you reach the one-one of World Cup 39 in this fair land. A young Corradini scored in the eight-fifth minute (we do that a lot, apparently) to set C&M on their way into the knock-out stages and, over the ensuing years, both nations have found life a struggle.

The former world champions failed to qualify last time around, and only the draw-specialist status of Bloumany stopped them from a second such blow, and one fears for the future of the game in this once-proud sporting land. These days, not only can we beat them but we should expect to beat them – but, by the time we reach the Hellgate, it may all be academic.

One suspects TV1 won’t even bother to show the game if that happens…

And on the off chance we somehow squeak through to the second round? ~ Ah.

Group A’s a bitch. Group B’s sorted bar the order of the top two – and it’s really just a case of whether you want to lose to Jews or Eastasians? The former’d probably be more socially cohesive, but we’ll leave that up to the Gassett Candelariasian to decide.

What does Healy need to do to keep his job? ~ Well, if I had to guess…

Winning a game, maybe? If that? Anything else would be a bonus, given the way the cookie has crumbled in our quarter of the draw, and only if we repeat our quarter-final performance will we likely be looking for a new coach – Healy could, after all, justifiably walk into just about any club job he wanted after guiding this lot to the last eight twice in succession.

Can we please just enjoy the greatest show on Earth on its own merits, then? ~ Ha! You jest.

But honestly, let us not forget the days when we huddled around the black-and-white telly, watching dodgy continental feeds of the World Cup finals. Whatever C&M’s fate, there’s still plenty to enjoy – I have a feeling those Lovisans might just be the surprise entertainers this time around, against a dour Cafundelense outfit, while my humble predictions see the Han and Demot make the semi-finals. From Kim Daeeui to Julius Rotherwell, and Iain Belling to Samual Fortal, and Lee Waywide to Ahershk Valinial, we all have someone else to keep an eye on, and cheer for when it all goes tits up for Healy’s men.

The Holy Monastic Republic will go one better than last time around, meanwhile, but I’m going to stick my neck well and truly out, as far as the championship is concerned.

The Eesseffians look quite good this year, I reckon.

Dancougar News!!
If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

Wings again battling uphill in finals: Dancougar begins its fourth foray in the World Cup in Vephrall, having drawn The Archregimancy, Ad'ihan, and Yafalonia and Bazor 2 in Group G.

Surprisingly, Dancougar fared the best out of all three in the qualifying round, winning ten of fourteen. Ad'ihan and the men and women of FAIL each won nine, whlie the Archregimancy won eight. All four teams finished second in their respective qualifying groups. Dancougar can boast the highest-output offense of the four with 40 goals in 14 matches, nearly three per game, but its defense is also the leakiest of the bunch, with 18 goals ceded. Solomon Bilbao's men will be thoroughly tested, but he was upbeat at yesterday's pre-tournament press conference.

"A lot of these guys have been here before, so they know what the pressure is like," said Bilbao. "The difficult part is being able to go at full strength for three straight matches, especially since we're going to see, in a short time, some very good opponents." The Wings will want to improve on the last three tournaments, as each time they ended up with a 1-0-2 group stage record. It was enough to advance in World Cup 40, but in 41 and 42 it spelled an early trip home for the team.

Dancougar's first opponent is The Archregimancy in the first-ever meeting between the sides. The desert fathers present a stiff defense that gave up under a goal per game in qualifiers. Perhaps that was due to the impossible conditions of playing in the Dreamed Realm, but we figure that they're just that good. The orthodox wunderteam won two of their last three convincingly after a rough 1-0 road loss to An Blascaod Mór, and were leapfrogged by Southern Northland after a draw with fellow qualifiers Jaseuyeon on the final matchday. This match will set the tone for the Black Wings, but they'll be hard-pressed to repeat their upset of Squornshelous. Casey Berber will have to be huge if the Wings are to have a chance at stealing some points.

After the opener in Fonong-Pelle the team will hit the road and visit Peppatzerris to renew ties with Yafalonia and Bazor 2, a team which the Wings have met twice in their history. Both matches resulted in 3-1 wins for Dancougar - one came Baptism of Fire 26 and the other was in the World Cup 42 group stage. So they're somewhat familiar with each other from the previous meeting, although several Black Wings will be meeting the potentially-shirtless Rachael Kneal for the first time. Like the monks, the team from FAIL have two wins in their last three following an unexpected road loss to Kosovoe. They also looked good in a 3-2 loss to a resurgent Capitalizt SLANI team, so they can't be taken lightly. We'll be counting on Dan Potts and Shishio Jinguuji to put the ball in the corners where Graham Noh'arms can only watch it go by.

Then it's back to Fonong-Pelle for the final match, against world number 14 Ad'ihan. It will be the first meeting between the two teams, although they're already very familiar with each other at the university level, as both are founding associations of the IUCC. Dancougar's colleges have always gotten the upper hand, but will that carry over here? Ad'ihan comes into the tournament hot, having won five straight qualifiers after a road loss to Liventia. Dancougar comes into the tournament riding a six match winning streak, but can we expect both teams to have that momentum with them on the final day of the group stage? We think so, considering that it could very well be do or die for both sides - especially with the pressure mounting on Ad'ihan manager Luke Evans to break through to the knockout phase.

It's time for our terrible predictions.

Matchday 1
Dancougar [1-3] Archregimancy
Yafalonia and Bazor 2 [1-2] Ad'ihan

Matchday 2
Dancougar [2-2] Yafalonia and Bazor 2
Archregimancy [2-1] Ad'ihan

Matchday 3
Dancougar [2-2] Ad'ihan
Archregimancy [3-0] Yafalonia and Bazor 2

GROUP G W T L GF GA DIFF Pts
4 Archiregimancy 3 0 0 8 2 +6 9
14 Ad'ihan 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
22 Dancougar 0 2 1 5 7 -2 2
30 Yafalonia and Bazor 2 0 1 2 3 7 -4 1

Dancougar mulling Baptism of Fire bid: The FA confirmed yesterday that it is evaluating Dancougar's capacity to host the Baptism of Fire for World Cup 44. The nation will play host to its third straight International University Challenge Championship following Akiba College's defense of the title, although officials acknowledge that can hardly be seen as proof of ability.

"Almost all of the organization comes out of Ad'ihan; the winning association just provides the grounds and minor logistics," said one source, speaking under the condition of anonymity. "Obviously there are a lot of details that would go into a bid, but we'll looking at all our options."

The National Stadium has hosted a TakilQuip final, and Dancougar has also held two international basketball tournaments. It has been building up its footballing infrastructure over the years, with several new stadiums being constructed for D-League teams as well as the college game's top programs. In terms of the nation itself, the Dancougar government allocates much of its budget to public works and safety.

The FA's Reply to Polycarp

To the honorable Fr. Polycarp:

Your letter has been received and we wish we could be so lucky to slither under the radar of our opponents. But the team must be wary of your experienced selves, lest we be so easily slain. Was it not Samuel, in his letter to the Passengers, who decreed "I have had it with these @#*&$ snakes on this #@$& plane!"? You will be happy to know that our team's record against sitting WCC presidents is a dismal one. Vephrall spanked us out of World Cup 41... a 4-1 loss on the final day. Fortunately, we play you on the first day, so there is some hope of a bounce back.

Ah, and while I'm on the subject of WCC presidency, I believe that upon entering the 26th Baptism of Fire, our association offered three gifts as a registration tribute: ramen noodles to feed the hungry, condoms to clothe the naked (at least a tiny bit), and calculus textbooks for... um... we'll get back to you on that one. We just thought we'd offer, although we doubt that your desire for worldly goods is eclipsed by your desire for the heathen of our nation to embrace orthodoxy. But with over 95% of our citizens declaring themselves atheist, that might be a hard sell.

Yours,
Henry Belfast
Senior Official, Dancougar Football Association

"... And after months of preparation, we are now just a week away from the world descending upon our lands for the Finals of this Forty-Third World Cup. Among notable nations that will be making the trip are The Han Empire, neighbors Cafundeu, as well as Candelaria And Marquez. The latter of those nations remains quite an interesting cultural rival with our Vanorian government, and only Green Island has shown any sign of building a potential friendly relationship with Raynor City. It is still unclear as to why Albrecht refuses to enter even simple diplomatic negotiations, but one must think that their government must be some sort of corrupt. Word has it that their fans are not even being allowed to venture over to the mainland apart from a few thousand special individuals being picked out by the government itself. It is quite a shame that the other 40,000 tickets given to the C&M outfit will be going to waste because of political issues, but that is the world we live in.

I will now send it over to Surian Durwai and the rest of the gang from The Sports Reporters for an in depth analysis of the group and the Marauders chances."

The screen switches to a trio of men setting inside a maroon room with pictures of triumphant moments of Valanora's sports history.

S "Thank you Trian. Alright Alman and Euriapi, how do you think the national side is going to do this tournament? The draw really did us no favors and it looks to be one of the tougher groups, as is the entire region."

A "Well Surian, it's going to be a difficult challenge no doubt, it always is once you reach this stage of the competition. The squads here are the best of the best and have all played exceptionally well to get into this spot. That said, you would have to be off of your rocker to think that the Marauders will not see the second round. Their destruction of the Big Blues in Zapata shook off my suspicion that the lack of a qualifying campaign would hurt the side as they completely ran the show in that fixture. Combine that with the results over Vephrall and Sorthern Northland, and everything shows that this squad is right on track to be among the favorites to lift the Cup once more."

E "Let's not get ahead of ourselves Alman, our group is quite a challenge. First off we have the Gnomes of Az-cz, who despite their government seeming to be on the edge of collapse once more, have skated through easily enough to the Proper. Among the teams in our group, they have always had somewhat of an edge over us, even dating back to our first encounter with them in the Twenty-Second Cup of Harmony, where we split victories at home. They are two time world champions for a reason and I do not think that we can simply disregard them as soo many of the experts are.

Then you have Tynelia, who have ridden the use of anonymous players to a tie of the best record during the qualifying portion of the group. If you go back and look at how they have been performing in the previous handful of tournaments, then you know that they among those teams that just needs a break here of there to explode into the higher echelon of the footballing world. What's more is that they are among the few nations that are still committed to having a strong backline. I don't care what sport you partake in, a solid defense almost always overcomes a solid offence, and that could very well be a trap game for our side. Make no mistake about it, Soler is no Kiso Night, or even Ariel Night, and that could easily be exposed if we find ourselves in a grind it out type of game.

Last but not least are the Big Blues of Candelaria And Marquez, who are just a phenomenal side that are on the edge of something spectacular. I don't care what their media is saying about their inconsistent campaign through the qualifiers. The methodology of the qualifiers is just to make it to the big dance, it's not about the style in which you get there. Now that they are here, I fully expect them to make their mark and likely pull through in second in the group. This is going to be are toughest match, especially once you add the political tension between Albrecht and Raynor City onto what is already going to be an electric fixture for both sides. "

A: "Yet we destroyed that same side in Zapata, in front of their own fans. There is no reason to think that here in Valanora that the side will fair any better. Our lads and lasses are simply a cut above the Big Blues and I think that friendly showed that gulf in class explicitly."

S: "I'm curious Euriapi as to what you think of Razov and his capabilities. You've mentioned as to how the Soler girl pales in comparison to either of the Night kids, but you have left out the importance of what the veteran Dunboor man brings. Certainly his talent and leadership is enough to make up the difference in class between Soler and Night."

E: "Unfortunately it is not. Don't get me wrong, I like Razov a lot, but you can not simply replace a player like Kiso Night, not in a million years. He is the type of player that changes games by merely stepping out onto the pitch. The young Soler lass has a good amount of skill on her own, but it is not manifested itself soo completely like it had in Kiso. I'm also not convinced that two speedsters are the way to go in our version of the 3-5-2. I think you need either an all around striker or a linking forward in order for this to work, and Soler is not that type of player. She is too much like Razov and I think that will cost us."

S: "Perhaps it will, but for now, give me your predictions for the group and how the Marauders fare."

A: "The Marauders will go through on top with seven points while Tynelia advances with four, ahead of the Big Blues on GD. Valanora will then add its' name to the short list of teams that have successfully defended a title a few weeks later in Raynor City when they hoist the Cup for a third time.

E: "I agree that we will finish on top with seven points, but I think we're only on top thanks to goal differential over the Islanders. I see the side falling victim to an upset in the semi-finals, but defeating the Monks in the 3PPo to add to that somewhat amusing record.

End of broadcast

Mary Sallad with a Catholic Archbishop looking a bit uncomfortable

Mary:
Hello, I'm Mary Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem. I'm talking to Archbishop Rene Clausman of the Jeruselem Catholic Church. He's also a member of the Order of Holy Inquisition and a former Inquisitor.

Rene: Good morning people of Jeruselem and God bless all of you, even you heathens and naked female news reporters.
Mary: I do work for Naked News Jeruselem ...
Rene: I forgot about that when I said yes to an interview.
Mary: That's OK, we're here now. Now what's your spin on the fighting in the church between the Orthodox and Armenian monks?

Rene: I'm really not surprised. They've been at each other for quite a while.
Mary: But it came to real fighting instead of just the usual squabbling.
Rene: I've been around for a while, Monks can be a strange lot.
Mary: Who started the fight, in your opinion?

Rene: Well, no one was blameless. Too much wine and religious fervour ... a hot church without aircon - it tests one's faith.
Mary: Not taking any sides?
Rene: Yes, I'm no Monk but I think both sides should be put a lid on things.
Mary: The Archregimancy blames the Armenians for all the trouble.

Rene: But that's what one would expect them to do.
Mary: Have you spoken to the Armenians?
Rene: No but they've put out a press release blaming the Orthodox monks.
Mary: Which itself is predictable.

Rene: Yes, both sides have said things which we'd expect them to say.
Mary: Can this be solved without resorting to extreme means?
Rene: I can't see the two sides making up or being nice to each other.
Mary: I see the Inquisition are conducting weapons checks on visitors now.

Rene: We don't want extremists to play their part.
Mary: Any other measures.
Rene: We've warned all occupants of the church to avoid being idiots.
Mary: Well they listen?

Rene: Probably not, but the Inquisition will intervene quickly.
Mary: Why do you use the term "idiots".
Rene: We've had stuff damaged in the past when Monks go AWOL.
Mary: Thanks for your time.

Rene: No problem
Mary: Does my lack of clothes bother you?
Rene: It's OK, you look like my sister.
Mary: Really?

Rene: Yes, she's dead now but I kinda miss her. She wasn't very smart like you but she always tried to do well for the family.
Mary: How did she die?
Rene: Threw herself on a bomb trying to save some kids. Pretty self-less kinda person to an extreme. There wasn't much to bury either.
Mary: Poor girl.

Rene: Well, she was a martyr on her own way.

QSPN.Com World Cup Coverage

The upteenth installment of "WORST PREDICTIONS EVER!" as we here at QSPn.com once again try to ensure the casinos get millions from the idiots, we mean, the customers who decide to follow our picks.

QSPN.com's Predictions (top 2 to Round of 16):
GROUP A
Tynelia 2-1-0 +5 GD
Valanora 2-1-0 +3 GD
Candelaria And Marquez 1-0-2 -2 GD
Az-cz 0-0-3 -6 GD

GROUP B
Milchama 2-1-0 +2 GD
Wentland 1-1-1 +1 GD
Daehanjeiguk 0-3-0 0 GD
Septentrionia 0-1-2 -3 GD

GROUP C:
Cafundeu 3-0-0 +6 GD
Jasiyun 1-1-1 +1 GD
Kura-Pelland 1-1-1 -2 GD
Lovisa 0-0-3 -5 GD

GROUP D:
SLANI 3-0-0 +5 GD
Jeruselem 2-0-1 +2 GD
Rennidan 0-1-2 -2 GD
Terreiro de Ogum 0-1-2 -5 GD

GROUP E:
Qazox 2-1-0 +4 GD
Krytenia 1-1-1 +1 GD
Sorthern Northland 1-1-1 -2 GD
Yafor 2 0-1-2 -3 GD

GROUP F:
Starblaydia 3-0-0 +6 GD
Demot 1-1-1 0 GD
Bazalonia 0-2-1 -2 GD
Jeru FC 0-1-2 -4 GD

GROUP G:
The Archregimancy 1-2-0 +2 GD (5 GF)
Dancougar 1-2-0 +2 GD (4 GF)
Ad'ihan 0-2-1 -1 GD
Yafalonia and Bazor 2 0-2-1 -3 GD

GROUP H:
Bostopia 3-0-0 +6 GD
The Holy Empire 1-1-1 +1 GD
Vephrall 1-1-1 0 GD
Prux 0-0-3 -7 GD


Which would set up the following Knockout round matchups (with our predicted winners in Blue):
Second Round:
Tynelia v Wentland (3-2)
Milchama v Valanora (4-2)
Cafundeu v Jeruselem (2-2, 2-2 AET 3-2 PK)
SLANI v Jasiyun (3-1)
Qazox v Demot (3-1)
Starblaydia v Krytenia (1-1, 1-1 AET 5-4 PK)
The Archregimancy v The Holy Empire (2-1)
Bostopia v Dancougar (2-2, 3-2 AET)

(assuming that the previous matchups are directly linked to the following matchups)
Quarterfinals:
Tynelia v Valanora (2-1)
Cafundeu v SLANI (3-2)
Qazox v Krytenia (2-0)
The Holy Empire v Bostopia (2-1)

Semifinals:
Valanora v SLANI (1-1, 1-1 AET, 4-3 PK)
Qazox v Bostopia (3-1)

Third Place Match:
Valanora v Bostopia (3-1)

Final:
SLANI v Qazox 2-0

ESPN Journal of Sport
March 23rd, 1945

WORLD CUP PREVIEW
by: Saul Werth

Once again, Qazox qualified for the World Cup, which will start in a month. The Zombies have to travel to Vephrall and will play a tough schedule.

PRUX' WC Schedule:
MD1: #16 Vephrall @ Fonong-Pelle
MD2: #2 Bostopia @ Palloner
MD3: #19 The Holy Empire @ Palloner

Most of the international media is predicting that it will be another Prux flameout and none have predicted the Zombies to even win a game. But no one thought that we would make the World Cup 4 years ago, and even fewer thought that we would make back-to-back Cups either. So with little expected, the Zombies have nothing to lose, and sometimes, that is enough inspiration to shock the world.

Letter to the Editor, Dancougar News!!

Dear Editor,

We would like to express our displeasure at your recent article on the World Cup Finals group draw, in which your writer suggests there is "pressure mounting on Ad'ihan manager Luke Evans to break through to the knockout phase" — direct quote.

It is quite astounding that a news source of your quality does not have proper checks in place to prevent factual mishaps from making their way to print. We would have expected your reporter, or your sports editor, or even yourself to have taken note of the major news conference the Football Federation of Ad’ihan held shortly before the end of qualifying, announcing Devida Cal as successor to Luke Evans as the national team manager.

Devida Cal is under no pressure whatsoever and his task in his first World Cup Finals is simply to ensure the team does not embarass itself. Having failed to make the knockout stages in Cafundéu and Septentrionia, even making it past the group stage would be a bonus here.

Luke Evans, meanwhile, was seconded to the chairmanship of the Football Federation two weeks before Devida Cal was appointed as his replacement as manager; this was also covered in the Ad’ihani press. Admittedly, this may not have gathered worldwide attention.

However, we believe this is not a legitimate argument, and further believe your fact-checking processess requires quite some overhaul.

Yours,
Luke Evans
Chairman, Football Federation of Ad’ihan

Devida Cal
Ad’ihan national team manager

————————————
Response to Fr. Polycarp:

To the Venerable Fr. Polycarp,

I'm sure the Church of Ad’ihan — and those of the other Christian denominations — would be rather unhappy if the Football Federation and the national team decided to label ourselves "holy" on the basis of our rank of fourteenth in the world.

I'd like to note, however, that "the man called Evans" — that'd be me — is no longer what you term this "hierocoach" of the national team, having been given a nice promotion to lead the Football Federation from the top. There is no doubt, however, my successor, Devida Cal, is fully prepared for the first meeting between our teams since our 2-0 loss to you during the qualifiers of World Cup 38, incidentally when I was in my first spell as national team coach.

Regardless, we wish your team the best of luck.

Yours,
Luke Evans
Chairman, Football Federation of Ad’ihan

PS — I've done a little research, and it appears there is a small Orthodox church in Ad’ihan! Who knew.

————————————
G awaits

VEPHRALL— The Ad’ihani national football team has been drawn into Group G of the 43rd World Cup finals in Vephrall and Valanora, alongside Yafalonia and Bazor 2, Dancougar, and the Archregimancy.

Of their three opponents, the team have only faced the fourth-ranked Archregimancy before. However, the last time this happened was back on the penultimate day of qualifying during World Cup 38, when current Football Federation of Ad’ihan (AFF) chairman Luke Evans was still in his first spell as manager of the national team. The score that time was a 2-0 home win for the team from the Dreamed Realm, with the return leg having been a 2-2 draw.

It is also the first time since World Cup 39 that the team have been drawn into a group with a letter they have not previously played in: in World Cup 40 they were drawn into Group C (World Cup 39); as hosts in World Cup 41 Ad’ihan were drawn into Group E (World Cup 38); and in World Cup 42 Ad’ihan were drawn into Group A (World Cup 37 as hosts).

Crazy and useless stats aside, the three matches will be widely seen across Ad’ihan as a test of new manager Devida Cal's mettle at national management, with Cal having enjoyed success at a club level with Dalinn Wanderers.

Dancougar News!!
Proudly screwing everything up since, like, last year.

Letters to the Editor: Today, we received word from Ad'ihan that our journalistic integrity was being challenged. We can't believe this nonsense any more than you can, dear readers. Here's an excerpt from the letter filled with its scandalous lies!

It is quite astounding that a news source of your quality does not have proper checks in place to prevent factual mishaps from making their way to print. We would have expected your reporter, or your sports editor, or even yourself to have taken note of the major news conference the Football Federation of Ad’ihan held shortly before the end of qualifying, announcing Devida Cal as successor to Luke Evans as the national team manager.

Ha! Who do you take us for, those jokers at DSPN? Some may remember Oxen Cup VII, when some interns there completely botched the match preview and report against Land de Wood. As a result, the Land de Wood FA believed that players who had not been injured or suspended were, in fact, injured or suspended, so they made some completely bizarre decisions that contributed to that team's ouster from the tournament.

But we at the Dancougar News would never do something that silly. To prove it to ourselves and to the world, we scoured our wire reports from the last few months for any mention of this so-called hiring. And you want to guess what we found?

First foreign manager for Ad’ihan

New Football Federation of Ad’ihan chairman Luke Evans today confirmed the appointment of Dalinn Wanderers' Valanora-born manager Devida Cal as his successor to the national manager's job.

You see, your claims were completely... wait, what? What does this thing say? Uh, hmm, Lukeevanstodayconfirmed, right, Devidacalashissuccess.... SON OF A...!!

Oh dear. Um. Shoot.

Corrections and Retractions: So yeah... we might have said something about Luke Evans in our Ad'ihan preview, that he was, like, under pressure or something? So, as it turns out, the sentence only reads correctly when "Luke Evans" is replaced by "Devida Cal" and the phrase "is totally secure in his job no matter what" is substituted for "is under pressure to make the knockout stage." What, common typo! Anyone could've done it!

Okay, maybe not. The intern claimed he checked the roster thread, whatever that means. He has been sacked.

We apologize to our overseas readers who were offended, as well as to our readers at home, who expect and deserve better. We will redouble our efforts to limit the number of mistakes during the group stage to no more than two minor ones per game and one huge one over all three. We also promise not to call the reigning WCC first hierarch "Fr. Magikarp" nor claim that he will one day evolve into a dragon and consume all the nonbelievers.

We would also like to correct an article from yesterday's travel section; no, my sister was NOT bitten by a moose while seeing the lovely lakes of Sweden.

No, really! She was carving her initials into it with the sharp end of an interspace toothbrush...: We apologize for the error in the retractions. The interns who were brought in to replace the interns who were just sacked, have been sacked.

OOC: I apologise sincerely for the awful accent I put on for Peter McRedwitch. Also, you'll probably need to turn your volume way up as I hadn't set the microphone volume to 100 and really can't be fussed with recording it again)

Link To Radio Broadcast (http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/radio1.wma)

“Alright, thank you to Taylor for the previous three hours of entertainment, and now, with the time at four minutes past seven in the evening, you're listening to Peter McRedwitch with SportTalk on Bostopia's Radio One, broadcasting live on FM, digital and streaming online.

Tonight, we'll be talking about Bostopia's chances in the group stages as the World Cup is almost ready to kick off in around forty-eight hours, and we'll be hearing from a very special guest, before going on to discuss the Bostopian F1 and the Rugball, with Norteaton at the top of the First Division. Feel free to text in on 11093, or from outside of the Bostopian Home Isles, the number is 984-11093.

Right, as you'll all know, Bostopia have been drawn with the Holy Empire, Vephrall and Prux. It's a very winnable group in my opinion, though the Holy Empire has had to play some very good football to get where they are, putting over Az-cz who has a wealth of footballing knowledge and titles behind them by two goals to nil. Vephrall, though of course not playing qualifiers, has that all important home-team advantage that could easily push them into first place.

However, Prux cannot be written off as the “fourth seed”, they may be ranked 34th in the world, but to qualify from there, you really do have to work hard and qualified by three points over Kelssek. Prux's biggest win was 4 – 1 over the United Island Empires, who ended up finishing bottom of the group.

Ok, I've already had one text through from Ellie in Drangmorie, who says she heard that Karl Loewe remarked that he didn't “know too much” about Ad'ihan, despite him playing them twice. Well, that's a very valid point and a few sources have confirmed as much. But they've also said that Karl was preoccupied with looking after the Emperor, who had come as the FA's second representative to the draw. However, it still poses the question – is Karl, who cannot remember playing against a team around 6 and 10 years ago, really fit to be Captain? I say let him do his talking on the pitch, and re-assess the situation after the World Cup. The end of the matter is, though, that we're not playing Ad'ihan until potentially the first knockout stage, but by which point videos will have been watched and learning will have taken place.

Now, I've just read some predictions out of Qazox, where they have us getting to the Semi-Finals and being beaten 3 – 1. By Qazox. If that, folks, isn't being a sore loser, I don't know what is. They still have a beef with us over World Cup 29 when we beat them. That was how many years ago? Ninety? A 90 year old grudge against us? Come on! Is it really worth it? One match that cost them what, World Cup Qualification I think?

I'll tell you what, here are my predictions. A two – one win over the Holy Empire, three – nil over Prux, and then two – nil against Vephrall. Put money on it!

[PM] And now to our special guest, ladies and gentlemen, the Emperor of Bostopia. Thanks for joining us tonight.

[EB] Oh that's no problem at all.

[PM] Emperor, how did you find the draw in Vephrall?

[EB] It was as usual a very interesting experience, great selection of alcohol, and I think Karl did well for us.

[PM] Despite his comments about Ad'ihan?

[EB] Whatever he may or may not have said, Karl was courteous, enthusiastic to be there, and did a damned good job of representing his country, though I hope he won't be as courteous on the pitch.

[PM] Now, I've heard you'll be taking an active role in the World Cup, would you like to tell us more about that?

[EM] Yeah, BTV approached me a few months back and asked me if I would like to be a co-commentator for them, and I jumped at the opportunity. It'll be great to see Vephrall, especially watching our boys take on the world's best and hopefully also try and catch some matches in other groups, possibly in Valanora too.

[PM] Have you any commentary experience, Emperor?

[EB] Well, I did commentate on me sliding down the stairs in the Castle on a toboggan once.

[PM] Al..right.. um, a text in from Gary in Outer Sygon, remember you can text in at any time on 11093 or 984-11093 if you're outside the Home Isles. Gary asks what sites you'd like to see in Vephrall while you're there.

[EB] Urr.... Pallona.

[PM] Why?

[EB] Well it's a big gambling town. I don't gamble a lot, only occasionally on the lottery and occasionally the big horse races, but there's a lot of booze there.

[PM] Anywhere else you'd like to see?

[EB] That's a good question, Peter, a really good question.

[PM] And?

[EB] Well, I'd sure love to see Pallona, I've heard great things about there.

[PM] So you just said.

[EB] I did?

[PM] Aye.

[EB] Oh. Well, the national buildings and stuff. Where the Head of State lives, I might pop in to say a hello as well.

[PM] Right, okay. Well, I think it's about time for us to play a record, and afterwards, we'll be discussing the Bostopia F1 and the Rugball. Will you be staying with us, Emperor?

[EB] No, I have to Jimmy do one, bruv to the airport sharpish.

Scores for groups A through D have been posted. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14208681&postcount=19)

Scores for groups E through H will come later; RPs for these groups currently still count for Matchday 1.

Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas was standing outside her room in towel when the coach Monique Alexander (aka Moany) was passing by. It looked like Marie had locked herself out of her room again, a familiar trait to Dazza and her female children. The coach herself sometimes locked herself outside but not as many times as Dazza did. Marie seem to be doing what her mother did best.

Moany: Locked yourself out again?
Marie: No, the cleaner is inside. I'd just get in the way so I'm out here!
Moany: You're not exactly the neatest person in the team.
Marie: Kate Sallad has pretty messy room too.

Moany: But she's related to you.
Marie: Jacinta Sallad is a pretty neat though.
Moany: Maybe that's because she's part Jewish like your sister Jacinta.
Marie: Mum is a bit messy ...

Moany: She's alway leaving underwear all over the place, like you.
Marie: You know there's a simple solution to that!
Moany: I know but we don't want too much accident indecent exposure around.
Marie: Well, depends where we stay!

Moany: Having an early night Marie?
Marie: No, I'll be working on my daily blog. Kara's too lazy.
Moany: You don't need to put in a daily blog.
Marie: The people want to hear why we smashed the SLANI FOUR NIL.

Moany: I wasn't expecting such a win, maybe a close game but you kids did well.
Marie: Thanks coach!
Moany: You're not a bad defender considering you're not really a defender. Still you're a bit too aggressive for my liking. I'd put you in the midfield or attack but we don't have enough real defenders at the moment.
Marie: I'm just doing my bit for the team.

Moany: I wish Sadie was back, so I could put you in a more attacking position.
Marie: We'll be alright, I always put in 150%.
Moany: Oh nice goal at the end. Make them look like idiots.
Marie: I think the SLANI weren't ready for crazy girl like me ... or Mum.

Moany:
Yes, Jenny had a solid game but no goals. No idea how that stupid Jay got a goal. Na Ling did a fantastic job with two goals taking Kylie Sho's place after she couldn't play due to a cold. We did quite well. Our defense held firm and feed the attack so they didn't get much ball to attack us with. I want to see the same for the next two games.

Marie: I think the SLANI haven't been playing at their best lately.
Moany: Yeah, it isn't the SLANI we expected. Normally they know how to beat us.

Marie:
Maybe, they just lack the spirit there. Money does not always buy success, you need to team to be motivated for right reasons. Not just being paid, but playing for God and country or whatever Gods like Maggie or Elune.

Moany: Yes, a bit of faith and God goes a long way.
Marie: But God won't win games for you, you must prove you are worthy of his favours.
Moany: Yes, it's all give and take.
Marie: Oh, I get back into my room now. I have lots to write about. The people need to hear from their Princess. I hope the cleaner has finished.

Moany: Why is your towel so small?
Marie: I'm small person ... yeah! Oh, I don't trust hotel towels.
Moany: I mean it's a bit too much to cover anything.
Marie: It covers just enough.

Moany: No wonder your suitcase is so small. All your clothes don't have enough material.
Marie: It's one way of packing light.
Moany: Actually your mother didn't have a large suitcase either. That Kate isn't different either.
Marie: We all learn from Mum.

Vephrall Region MD1 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14209001&postcount=20)

The four aircraft flew in a Y formation, with Tetsuya's Eagle leading the pack. Princess Erica followed in her Rhinemaiden, christened Freya 1, and split behind her were units two and three, Russ and Peter. The countryside below them was popmarked from previous battles between the mountain and the base. Fortunately the land out here was still mostly unutilized; the nearest towns were all to the south and had remained untouched by the attackers. But it was getting harder and harder to keep information from leaking out to the general public. Before long, people would question the military quarantine of the area, even if the volcano was "erupting."

The sky above them was bright blue, even though they could see the looming darkness of Mount Fujiko in the distance. Black clouds swirled around the summit and lightning flashed. Russ was just trying to enjoy the smoothless of the flight over. He didn't know what to expect once they got there. His computer buzzed as Peter attempted to connect a private channel. "Hey, you all right over there?" asked Russ.

"What do you think about this?" Peter responded, his tone of voice suggesting that he wasn't. "Running off because the princess wants to play war."

"She's got her reasons," Russ replied. "You know, it would come to this eventually, without any of us taking the lead. And remember, if anything happens, it's on us."

Peter frowned. "I especially don't like that!" he muttered. "We've only had a few hours of actual combat training, and now we're charged with protecting her? It's too much. They can't really expect us to be able to do all that, right?"

"We're the prodigies who understood the Rhinemaiden the first time we flew it," Russ sighed. "So we were probably asking for it when we let the professor throw us in here."

"That's how a lot of this stuff starts, eh?" said Peter, allowing himself a chuckle. "Honestly, we just can't say no to that guy."

"We can take it up with him once this is all over," Russ replied. "We'll be fine; this is just intel, so if things get dicey, all we have to do is run. And Lieutenant Tsumura's Eagle is strong enough to take over if we can't."

Erica sat calmly as the clouds rolled by. This was what she wanted, right? She wanted to take the fight to them. Once they knew the enemy's strength, it would just be a matter of assembling enough force to wipe them out. Until that was done, she couldn't forgive herself for being so weak before. She told herself that she was in the right, and because of that, she would not fail. Her confidence had to be high; this was her first mission, after all. She'd only flown planes at the academy, and only under his guidance...

Erica sat under a tree on the Air Force Academy campus. She was flipping through one of her textbooks chronicling the history of aerial combat. Truth be told, she was better at memorizing this stuff than she was at actually flying. Her test scores were top notch... her simulation results less so. She sighed as she turned the page. Had she made a mistake by coming here?

A shadow crept over her. She didn't even look up; she already knew who it was. She closed her book loudly. "You know, I'm not content to live in your shadow, big brother... I'll just keep moving forward, you know that." She stood up to leave.

"Sis, come on, now..." began Daniel. His little sister had just joined the academy; he would graduate this year at or near the top of his class. Upon arrival, he had used his skills to quickly dispell any notion that he would get through on status alone. He was well respected by both the students and the instructors. He followed her as she walked down the path to the library. "What, are you embarrassed to be seen with me?" he teased.

"I want to earn everyone's respect the way you did," Erica replied. "But..." She looked down at the path. "I don't know... I understand what I'm supposed to do. But every single time, I..."

Daniel stepped into her path and place his hands on her shoulders. "I thought so," he said. "So that's why I'm here to offer you my services as a private instructor. Ask me anything, and soon, you'll be the ace of aces! How's that?"

Erica's face deadpanned. "... Not interested," she muttered.

There was a hearty laugh from behind them. "Now now, your highness, is it really proper for you to be offering your private services to the freshmen?" called the newcomer. Erica looked around her brother, who also turned his head. The man who approached them was about Daniel's height with short blonde hair and an impeccably clean shave. "That's a job for us commoners, yes?"

"You know that's not what I meant, Chase," retorted Daniel, letting go of Erica's shoulders. "And don't tell me you don't recognize your nation's princess."

Chase walked up to Erica and bent over to get a look at her face. She took a cautious step back. Chase stood back and removed his hat. "My apologizes, your highness," he said, with a small bow. "But I couldn't see you clearly at first; you're especially radiant in this sun."

Erica only blinked and stared blankly at him. Daniel gave his friend a playful jab. "Talk about improper; that attitude doesn't suit you at all," he said. Chase only laughed. "Erica, this is a classmate of mine, Chase Villareal."

"Oh, right, the one guy who can beat you!" Erica said, remembering.

Chase threw his hands behind his head. "What kind of horrible stories have you been telling her about me, huh?" he asked. "It's more like your brother here is the only one who can challenge me to a proper fight."

"You're too modest," Daniel replied with a grin.

Chase reciprocated. "As are you."

Erica sat in the simulator and groaned as the screen displayed that, yet again, she'd been shot down. It was after midnight by now and she was the only one still practicing. She had completed more mission objectives this time, but it felt like she'd already hit her limit. She sighed and was about to leave, when she noticed that Chase was standing right there, watching her simulator run. "I..." she gasped.

"You're still just a first year... you haven't learned all the tricks yet," he said calmly. Her legs had tensed to stand up, but now she relaxed them and just pivoted where she sat. "Why don't you ask your brother for help?" he asked. "He's very good. You could learn a lot if you listened to him."

"What good is it for me to always let him lead me by the hand?" Erica replied. "What can I do for this country if I can't do this on my own?"

Chase leaned against the simulator pod and crossed his arms. "I don't think that's the right question to ask," he answered. "Rather, what can you do for this country if you can't do it at all?"

Erica looked at the screen. "That's..." she started, before immediately trailing off.

"You're going to be a leader someday, but being a leader doesn't mean you have the ability to do everything by yourself," said Chase. "A leader recognizes that they, like the people under them, have limitations that can only be surpassed by collective action. You don't have to be the most skilled. You'll be respected by pilots if you at least know enough to understand what it's like to be out on a mission, even just what it takes to fly one of these. Because if you can do that, they can trust you won't make decisions blindly." Erica leaned out of the faux cockpit. Chase threw her a smile. "Bottom line, don't be afraid to ask for help. No one will think any less of you. We want you to succeed because you need to. You're the princess of Dancougar. If we know you're committed, it's that much easier to follow you in the future."

Erica took a moment to digest all that and climbed out of the simulator. "You're a lot different than you were the other day," she said at last. "You're more serious."

"Your brother doesn't know how hard he pushes me," Chase replied. "I have to act confident around him. I can't let him know how much I'm rattled when I go against him." Erica looked up at him, but he was staring straight ahead at the far wall. "I'm proud that one day I'll be fighting for him," he continued. "He's probably stronger than me, but I'll stay ahead of him as long as I can. He's going to be my boss someday. So it's my job to be the guy he can rely on without hesitation."

Erica walked in front of him. He broke his concentration and looked down at her. "If that's how you really feel, then I have something to ask you..."

Erica kept her eyes forward as the dark cloud loomed larger and larger. A blinding flash of lighting rippled through the sky. This is... she thought. She looked behind her. Russ and Peter were still in obedient formation. Ahead of her, Tetsuya maintained the pace. I... I was so eager to avenge you, that I forgot everything you told me. They can't rely on my false sense of justice... they can't trust my decisions. And they're still here with me prepared to die. But for what?! Chase, I...

"Lock and load, boys and girls, we're entering enemy airspace!" radioed Tetsuya. "Keep your eyes peeled!"

Erica grabbed onto her mic. "Everyone," she began, "when we get back to the base, there's something I have to say to you. So until then, don't die. That's all."

"What's gotten into her?" murmured Peter.

"Roger that," replied Russ. "We'll begin recording in twenty seconds!"

Ryan talking to a tired Jeru FC team who fought off the Purple Menace in a scoreless draw ...

"That a great effort team. People expected Jeru FC to lose today. I bet people put their money on it! You all know Jeruselem's record against the Purple Menace, and our's isn't that much better but today we showed we could defend. We're looking good so far. We will be written off but we've one point here ... if one can draw with the Purple Menace, then we could win a game! Still a win and draw might not be good enough but if we do get 4 points - I'd be happy. No one expects Jeru FC to get a single point here. No one, but we proved Jeru FC might be crap but we aren't 100% crap. And today, Jeruselem beat the SLANI FOUR NIL. The SLANI are seeded 3rd! See, if we work hard we too can take on the best and win. I can't win the game for you, you must be ones. Jeru FC making the 2nd round! Doesn't that sound good? Being the top 16 in World Cup 43! Last cup, Jeru FC qualified but now - let's aim higher. Let's think about ... the real finals. The knockouts. This group stage is nothing, heroes make the knockouts. I was coach of Qazox, I am now coach of Jeru FC. Let's try to be a new Qazox!"

QSPN.Com World Cup Coverage

WORLD CUP SCHEDULE
MD1: DRAW 2-2 #24 Sorthern Northland @ Becugheralang, Vephrall
MD2: #29 Krytenia @ Becugheralang, Vephrall
MD3: #15 Yafor 2 @ Apenbast, Vephrall

Against Sorthern Northland, Qazox wanted to get off to a good start at World Cup 43. A 2-2 draw with SN wasn't the start Joanna Davids wanted, but after falling behind 2-0 behind goals from John Hernandez, in the 22nd minute, and a penalty kick by Uang Shi in the 42nd, the Phoenix looked like they would most certainly lose. But strong play from Charles Marquis and Yolanda Christian, gave Qazox 2 goals in the second half and a tough 2-2 draw.

Up next is Krytenia, who lost to Yafor 2 2-0. Most likely a win is needed to advance, but a draw would not be the end of the Phoenix' chances. According to rank, Krytenia is the weakest of the group's teams, but Qazox, for whatever reason, has struggled on the world stage. Is this the Cup that they finally put it all together?

In Other action today, QSPN.com's pick to win it all, Capitalizt SLANI, was destroyed 4-0 by Jeruselem; while fellow Q-continuum member Prux was demolished by Vephrall 4-1.


QAZOX SCORING today
Charles Marquis- 56'
Yolanda Christian- 74'

QAZOX World Cup SCORING
Charles Marquis- 1
Yolanda Christian- 1


QAZOX Qualifier SCORING
Charles Marquis- 10
Raul de Olivares- 9
Yolanda Christian- 6
Bonnie Young- 2
Jason Erca- 2
Brittany Lopes- 2
Michelle de Barre- 2
Opal Howard- 2
Benjamin Ernst- 2
Georgette Savoy- 2
David Shultz- 1


(ooc: just realised something, This is the 1st time I haven't been in Groups A-D! :rolleyes:)

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: @ Krytenia 1-2 (@ Adanac)
MD1: vs (46) MSS 3-0 (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Jinhwangdo - 60,000)
MD2: @ (118) Dariusville 2-0
MD3: vs (159) Vlaskin 4-0 (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD4: @ (19) Demot 2-1 (@ Masteron Stadium, Santa Rosa - 78,000)
MD5: vs (31) Krytenia 3-3 (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju - 80,000)
MD6: @ (66) Greal 3-2 (@ Sasha Stadium - 120,000)
MD7: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant 6-1 (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MQ1: vs Taeshan 4-2 (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium, Daebo - 50,000)
MD8: @ (46) MSS 1-5
MD9: vs (118) Dariusville 4-0 (@ Oromokjei Football Stadium, Oromokjei - 25,000)
MD10: @ (159) Vlaskin 1-2
MD11: vs (19) Demot 1-1 (@ Waella Football Stadium, Hanseong - 43,000)
MD12: @ (31) Krytenia 1-0
MD13: vs (66) Greal 3-0 (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD14: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant 3-0

World Cup 43 - Group B
MD1: vs Wentland 0-1 (@ Artani)
MD2: vs Milchama (@ White Fortress)
MD3: vs Septentrionia (@ Duran Palace)

A message had come in the mail. Even as Seunghwa and Hansu were still at the hospital, the news still managed to learn where they were settled for the time. It passed inconspicuously through the hospital mailroom, where it finally made its way to Seunghwa along with a routine meal offered by the cafeteria.

"Mail?" she asked the deliveryman.

"I just deliver it," he replied before hustling on his way to the other rooms. Hansu was still asleep, and not wanting to wait until he woke up, she started to open the letter. It was sloppy mess, written on rather dry and withered paper. The ink seemed almost too wet for the paper as it bled through the paper. Still she could read the rudimentary forms of characters. She eventually figured out which side was the top.

Min Seunghwa,

I'm writing this note to you because I'm too cowardly to say it to you in person. I'm a coward, I'll admit. And I'm a fool too. You're a nice girl, you deserve to share affection with someone else who genuinely feels the same way that you do about me, because I'm just a poor sucker. Yes, I've been thinking about it for a while, and even though I hadn't quite figured you out yet, I never did expect to hear what you said that day in SNE. It was a real shock.

I'm stupid too. I've been expelled from the university, and I'm going to find my way around for the while, so by the time you'll have read this, I'll have long left the city. You should find another guy who has your devotion, because I'm certainly not the sort of guy who you'd expect to be a happy fellow. I'm sorry if this puts some hard feelings on you, but I'd rather risk it now than later.

Seunghwa, you should yourself a way out of your job. You're too smart to be stuck there. I'm sure you love your father too, but you've got a lot of things holding for you. Go out a reach for them. And don't be bogged down like the idiot that I was - just be passionate about your dreams.

Ah, this paper is starting to leak; I hope you can read it later on. And I hope that you're doing better too. I suppose that we may meet again, but in this lifetime, I'd rather doubt it. Until then, I wish you well.

Son Iljun

Seunghwa held the note close to her chest as she tried to hold in her swelling sensations. Her eyes immediately welled over and leaked out the edge of her eye lids. Rejection - the bitter feeling. Her heart-rate began to depress excessively that the EKG monitors were detecting an abnormal brachycardiac conditioning. The doctors soon rushed into the room.

"What's going on in here?" they asked.

"Nothing," Seunghwa said, still sobbing. "We were just sleeping."

The doctors, seeing everything else in order, left the room. A nurse stayed behind to verify the vital signs. She then noticed the letter.

"Someone you know?" she asked her.

Seunghwa nodded.

"Are they alright?"

Seunghwa nodded. The nurse, not wanting to invade anymore of her problems, nodded in return. She picked up the tray of food, now cold after a long wait in the room, and took it away. It was probably better for Seunghwa, since the smell of stale rice was beginning to nauseate her (and in spite of the technological wonders, they couldn't detect that???). But now that everything and everyone was as it was, she began to reflect on her now lost love for Iljun. So he didn't share her feelings. What did that mean for her?

Weeks of searching again. For a new-found passion. A new escape.

She re-read the letter, hoping to find one shard of hope to salvage from what was otherwise an obtuse break. Indeed, she shouldn't have felt so awful about this. She knew that it was always a possibility; after all, Son spent too much time dealing with football. It wasn't a surprise that he left school after the riots. And it wasn't a surprise that he decided to leave the city; too many bad feelings perhaps. But why did he reject her love for him? After all, he could have given it a chance. They could try it.

But why didn't she try it?

Wait - she? Seunghwa thought that over again. She? What should she do? Well, go back home with her father? That would mean many more months, even years at the pub (which had burned down, but not to her knowledge, mind you!). No, she would return home, and she would go back to the school! She would find Son, and she would ...

"What would she do?" she then said, thinking out loud. She surprised herself. Thinking out loud? She was becoming a bit obsessed herself! But was that surprising? No, she justified. But was it right?

"Is everything alright?"

"Hm?" Seunghwa looked up to the nurse who had just left.

"I thought I heard something from here."

She quickly recoiled, wondering if the nurse heard her say 'what would she do?' out loud. Perhaps she thought she talking about her.

"I just talking to myself."

"Oh, did you need anything?"

"No. We're fine." She looked to her father, sleeping on the chair. "Actually, could you get a pillow?"

"Absolutely," the nurse replied. She rushed off eagerly on a mission, leaving Seunghwa some extra time to think to herself. It wasn't an easy task to imagine how she'd "try" it herself. She wasn't even certain what she'd try. It seemed that the sole focus of her vision has been Son, and even though she had missed her father very much, she couldn't stop thinking about how she could bring Son back. Perhaps, she too was obsessed, and like Son, she too would fall victim to the same blind passion that caused him to fall. But then, did it matter? She read the last part of his letter again: "just be passionate about your dreams."

And what was her dream?

Both Jaseuyeon and Kura-Pelland will probably be relieved at the 1-1 scoreline in what turned out to be a somewhat bizarre game, one in which Kura-Pelland dominated for large parts without scoring, before suddenly falling behind with just 15 minutes to go only to level in the 83rd.

Harry Oughton was guilty of over-elaborating from time to time, although he did hit the bar with a fierce 30-yard free-kick - 'he hit it too well, to be honest, it didn't have time to dip enough' was the reaction of his manager - but against an anonymous (in every sense) Jaseuyeon outfit, Kura-Pelland really should have scored.

Instead, with a quarter of an hour to go, the Korean-speaking CapitaliZt state took a shock lead courtesy of a substitute wearing a number 93 shirt, who beat the offside trap courtesy of Bo Phelps rushing out too soon. Schoolboy stuff. Fortunately Norbert Fiero saved the day with an 83rd-minute header from a Prince Ogunde cross, but given the earlier performance it should have been three points. Kura-Pelland are now quoted as odds-on to fall in the group stages at 1.85, and a massive 12.5 to make the last eight, despite (or perhaps because of) Jeruselem's 4-0 defeat of Capitalizt SLANI which makes them, and not the third-ranked moneymen who have also adopted an anonymous side this time around, the favourites to meet Kura-Pelland in the last sixteen if they get there.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
A Globo Multimedia partner

WORLD CUP 43 – VALANORA AND VEPHRALL
Full coverage – including comments from Breno Gavião, notes by Sílvio Ruiz and interviews by César Lang
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VICTORIOUS START IN THE WORLD CUP

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5576/lov2wf9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Globo Multimedia coverage replay (with an ad)

The second half of the qualifying stage was abysmal for the Monopolists. After a nearly perfect first half, the supporters were optimistic and the team stronger than ever. But the players seemed to forget that every new game is a different one, and seemed to forget how to play quality football too. Losses against two big opponents and draw against poor ones, and the Cafundelenses returned to see the National Team with suspicion. But, latest form aside, Cafundéu got qualified for the World Cup, and as one of the top seeds of the competition (the second worst first seed, but we don’t need to get into these details, do we?). The World Cup group stage was the place to see if the team would return to play well or not.

Suffering with the pressure of the supporters and of media experts of the country, the Monopolists travelled to Valanora (not a long one, to be honest) to start to fight for the World Cup title (are they really fighting for it?). The first game was going to be the one against Lovisa, and the supporters already started to see it with suspicion, as Lovisa has some good players, ones that even play in Cafundéu, and could give problems to the Cafundelenses. But, when the referee started the game, Cafundéu started to show that the team was ready to make a good campaign, and took the control of the match. In the end, a good victory, and the perfect start for a World Cup.

THE FIRST HALF: when the game started, it became clear that Cafundéu wanted to command the midfield at all costs. Making passes, the team looked to control the ball possession, while preparing a perfect chance to score a goal. However, Lovisa isn’t a dumb team, and its players could notice Cafundéu’s tactics, and tried to take the ball to them, sometimes even with violence. In the end, the Monopolists could guarantee the ball possession, and started to attack with danger, with long ranged shots and good moves that easily reached Sievers’s area. Lovisa had few chances in the first half, and the goalkeeper Júlio Sampa could enjoy some rest.

Time was passing, and even with the pressure Cafundéu was unable to score. Suddenly, Lunz received the ball inside the area, dribbled Alex and shot. The ball hit the post with fury. After this Lovisa attack, the Monopolists noticed that their dominance of the game could be destroyed in just one play, and decided to make an effort to get the goal. Luckily, they could count with a mistake from the defender Hartwig for that, as he made a wrong pass to Da Silva, who had just to pass the ball to Moreira who, one on one with the keeper, scored the goal. Winning the game, the Monopolists continued with their dominance in the midfield, but were unable to score more before the end of the first half, while Lovisa had nearly no chances.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Moreira’s goal): “Bad pass made by Augusto César, Lovisa rrrrrretains the ball possession. In the defence with Harrrrrtwig, has some options in the midfield. Misses the pass, it goes to Da Silva, he drrrrrribbles Harrrrrtwig, passes the ball to Morrrrrrreirrrrrrrrra, it’s a golden chance to scorrrrrrre, he looks at the keeper, shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! I want the rrrrrreplay herrrrrre rrrrrright now! Morrrrrrrreirrrrrrrra, number eleven! Now it’s Cafundéu one, Lovisa zerrrrro! Everrrrrything for your house and for yourrrrrrself is in the Barrrrrratim superrrrrrrmarrrrrrket! The best prrrrrrrices, the best varrrrrriety!”

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/271/lov1kz7.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Fabinho had little participation in the game

THE SECOND HALF: with the team returning to play well, the Cafundelense supporters inside the White Fortress stadium were confident and started to sing for the Monopolists. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to make much effect in the team, as Cafundéu’s performance didn’t change much. After all, this was a good thing, as the team did a good job in the first half. But Lovisa seemed motivated to react in the game, and was more dangerous in the first minutes, with a shot by Baecker hitting the bar. The Cafundelenses didn’t take much time to reply, and Silveira nearly scored with an excellent long ranged shot, which made some Cafundelenses even shout “Goal!”

The game was pretty exciting, with both teams showing a quality football, although Lovisa hardly reached the Cafundelense area. Cafundéu, however, seemed to throw away some precious chances, although the dominance of the first half wasn’t so intense in the second. Some supporters seemed disappointed, as they surely wanted more goals, but the fact is that the game was under control. The coach Júlio Vargas made some substitutions in Cafundéu, taking off players that weren’t performing well, as Augusto César and Marossi. And, with less than ten minutes for the end of the game, the young Alves took the ball in the midfield, dribbled two opponents and shot to score the second and last goal of the game.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Alves’s goal): “Cafundéu contrrrrrrols the ball now with Rrrrrenildo in the left wing, time passes. Thrrrrree points nearrrrrly guaranteed! Ball to Alves, who rrrrrreturrrrrrrns to the midfield to take it. Rrrrruns to the attack, nice drrrrrribble over Blazer, continues rrrrrrrunning... amazing drrrrribble over Vilgoor, now he’s inside the arrrrrrrea! Has the chance for a beautiful goal, shoots... look at the goal, look at the golaço! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! A rrrrrreplay that must be seen! Alves, number twenty-thrrrrree! Now the rrrrrresult is Cafundéu two, Lovisa zerrrrro! Documents for your car, you can make in Zerrrrrado, the best frrrrriend of your car!”

INTERVIEWS WITH CÉSAR LANG: the ideal start for the Cafundelenses in the World Cup, with a necessary win in this group stage that can help the team to get motivated for the next games, which will be challenging. The coach Júlio Vargas told the reporters: “A victory as this one was necessary to show our supporters and even the players that Cafundéu is capable of making a good World Cup run. We can win the other two games of the group stage, I’m sure of this, and we’ll work for this, be assured of this!” The midfielder/attacker Moreira, man of the match, said: “We could control the ball well, keeping the possession. This was the key for the victory (...) about my performance? Of course I am very happy to score a goal and to help the team to win this game, but the three points are more important than my personal achievements.”

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 3 (Baecker’s good attack): “Zé Sho misses the ball in the midfield, it’s Sandler who takes it for Lovisa and starrrrrrts a fast counterrrrrrattack. Ball to Lunz, he can’t find a space, so passes the ball to his team mate Baecker. Titov fails to marrrrrrk him prrrrroperrrrrly, now he has some space, he shoots... oh my God, the ball hit the post! Júlio Sampa was alrrrrrready out of the play... Cafundéu nearrrrrrly sufferrrrrrs the goal, which would surrrrrely put Lovisa into the game. Want to watch a good movie, or have something to do with your frrrrrriends or a special perrrrrson? So go to the Pipoqueirrrrrrro Cinemas, good movies and good rrrrrrrooms for your enterrrrrrtainment.”

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/6248/lov3gi1.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Alves commemorates his goal with team mates

CAFUNDÉU 2x0 LOVISA

Place: The White Fortress, Gladerial.
Attendance: 70,001 people (someone called Chicão Trombada invaded the stadium).
Time: 20:30 Cafundelense time (glad that the timezone is the same!).
Climate: clear, 18°C.
Referee: Barrett Bosman (Bazalonia).
Assistants: Carl Marking (Bazalonia) and René Herming (Starblaydia).
MOTM: Moreira (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Alex, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Zé Sho, Da Silva, Augusto César (Renildo 63’) and Marossi (Alves 45’); Moreira and Danilo Sampa (Fabinho 82’).
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

LOVISA: Sievers; Vilgoor, Hartwig and Moreux; Sandler, Tamme (Blazer 70’), Meehan and Indgaard (Kremer 70’); Lunz, Franke (Cirillo 45’) and Baecker.
Coach: Henryk Kasperczak.

Goals:CAF: Moreira 24’ , Alves 81’.

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Goalscorers (WC goals inside parenthesis):

12- Danilo Sampa
7- Augusto César
5- Marossi
4- Moreira (1)
3- Silveira, Hubert
2- Titov, Rossi, Fausto, Alves (1)
1- Alex, Silvinho, Fabinho, Renildo
2 own goals

ESPN Journal of Sport
April 20th, 1945

WORLD CUP Game 1 VEPHRALL
by: Saul Werth

Taking on the co-hosts anywhere in their own nation, is tough. If your a top ranked side, then it probably means you had to scuffle for a 1-goal win or had a hard fought draw. If you are a lower ranked team, like the Zombies, it means you get your arse whupped. A 4-1 whipping by Vephrall and Prux is behind the 8-ball, and we still have two tough games to go. Mantlom Cinerne had 2 goals, in minutes 22 and 27, giving the homeside a very early 2-0 lead. Zombie Zinedine Zidane scored in the 40th to cut the lead in half, but the Zombies, due to the early start time of 11am local, just couldn't sustain any attack in the withering sunlight. Goals by Urkero Misina (56th) and Netgorin Phootid (71st) ended any chance of a comeback.

Up next is #2 Bostopia, who beat The Holy Empire 2-1. Since Bostopia is one of the best in the world, many are expecting them to clinch a knock-out round berth with an easy win. but the game won't kickoff until 8:30pm local time, and the nighttime is the right time for the Zombies.

PRUX' WC Schedule:
MD1: #16 Vephrall @ Fonong-Pelle (Lost 1-4)
MD2: #2 Bostopia @ Palloner
MD3: #19 The Holy Empire @ Palloner

Jeruselem Government News

Merginn Moffat wins Jeruselem Coach of the Year

Southern Northland's Jeruselemite coach Merginn Moffat won the Jeruselem Coach of the Year award. Merginn who wasn't even nominated at the start won the award in a close battle with Jeruselem's coach Monique Alexander. The balance was tipped in Merginn's favour with votes from "men friendly" media like Radio Man. Most Radio Dallas listeners favoured Moany but the men backed Merginn. Ryan Greenly was not eligible to be nominated since he wasn't a Jeruselemite but indications were he would have done well if he was.

Merginn was shocked at the win
"Wow, I'm surprised I won this. You know, all my life I've been a bit of loser - messing up the good things in life. I think I'm on a good thing now. My Mum though I'd be no good in the end but I think I can make sure I have real career now. I was a crap player but it seems I could be a good coach! Beating Moany was a surprise but I'm sure she'll get her prize one day too. She's been supporting my efforts here in SN. She knows it's hard road to success but it seems I've made as a coach. Hopefully I can coach more great teams like SN. I want to go for the Jeruselem job one day. I am not claiming a win of men over the women in Jeruselem here. Jeruselem women understand football and so do men but it's the women who are more passionate about it. It's time more men got into football and match their female counterparts passion for the game. It's not women being better, it's men being lazy slobs. I thank my supporters in SN and Jeruselem. I'm a Jeruselemite like every other one, so I'm proud my award. I dedicate this award to my mother who is sadly now deceased. My father wasn't much help but it was Mum who helped me stay in control of my life."

Merginn's mother is Katherine Anne Moffat not to be confused with Jeruselem World Cup captain Katherine Anne Sallad (aka Kate Sallad).

Dancougar News!!
Watched Sasuke 20; constantly screamed "MICHIGAN!" in disbelief.

Clean lives and a clean win; Monks provide baptism of pain: The desert fathers of The Archregimancy showed precisely why they were the world's fourth-ranked team, humbling the Black Wings 4-1 in the opening match of World Cup Group G.

The monks were a joy to behold with their smooth passing, quick movement, and capable teamwork. It must be said that the Wings were given a clinic, as they fell behind 3-0 by halftime and never looked like threatening for the points. "We were outplayed; plain and simple," said Solomon Bilbao. "We spent too much time defending and didn't have enough possession, and you never win games that way."

Perhaps the monks were given a boost from their pregame ritual. The stadium at Fonong-Pelle was alive more than two hours before kickoff, as it was discovered that a complete Orthodox church had sprung up outside the main gate overnight. The monks welcomed all who cared to join them to celebrate what we're told is a ceremony which spiritually infuses bread and wine so that it symbolically becomes the body of their god's son, which they then consume. We're as confused as the rest of you, but whatever it was appeared to work. The monks established the pace early and went for the early lead.

"We were all surprised that thing just popped up; I guess you could say it shows a real commitment that carried over to the pitch," said Shishio Jinguuji. "All I could really say was, whoa, it's all shiny and nice."

Fr. Rufinius got the opening goal for the Archregimancy in the 13th minute after their early attacks finally punctured the Black Wing defense. John the Dwarf set it up with run at the box, and he skipped over Milan van der Horst's challenge. This drew Casey Berber out of position, and he slipped a square ball for Rufinius, who hit a solid shot to goalkeeper Yuji Watanabe's left. The Black Wing fans were as silent as the celebration, as Rufinius merely made some mysterious crossing motion with his hands as the team marched back to their own half for the restart.

The Wings only managed a feeble response, with Benjamin Whittaker managing to play through Dan Potts in the 21st. But his first touch to get past Moses the Black betrayed him and the ball escaped into the hands of goalkeeper Fr. Epiphanius. The missed opportunity loomed larger minutes later, in the 28th, when the immaculate left foot of John Cassian swept a cross onto the head of Fr. Arsenius, who nodded it over Watanabe to make it 2-0.

Four minutes later, the monks put the game out of reach. Rufinius was fouled in the box by van der Horst and the referee immediately pointed to the spot. Berber would get a yellow for protesting, but he should've known better than to challenge the decision, because monks don't dive. Replays showed Rufinius did indeed earn the spot kick, but his worldly desire for goals was not so strong for him to insist that he take it himself. Instead, it was Poeman to make it 3-0, and Watanabe looked shell-shocked after guessing correctly but failing to reach the shot in time.

"The header I should've got, and I needed to be faster on the penalty," said Watanabe. "Those are two big ones on me... I make those saves, and we're still in the game. But the way they were playing, it was all we could do just to prevent a rout." Anthony Ingram and Kevin Underwood allowed themselves to make taken out of their normal game in the midfield, falling back to help on defense and further reducing the Black Wings' ability to get back into the match.

Potts had two more chances before halftime, but his first hit the post and the second was gobbled up by Epiphanius. As he was denied the third time, the halftime whistle blew, and Potts was left to ponder the significance of his failure.

Shiro Furuya came on as soon as the second half began, but Epiphanius was hardly tested until ten minutes in, when Lyle Dylandy sent a tricky shot that dipped late and nearly caught the 'keeper off guard. But Epiphanius did well to tip it over the bar, and gave thanks. In the 65th, the monks erased any nagging doubts about their ability to control the match. Whittaker turned it over in the midfield and that started a four-on-three counter, and once again the final pass came from Cassian. He spotted Rufinius make a run behind Berber and sent a low cross his way, and Rufinius poked between Watanabe's legs to make it 4-0.

Bilbao was given something positive to build on in the 72nd, when Jinguuji finally put the Wings on the board with a strong header. Perhaps by that point, the monks were showing mercy to their embattled opponents. It took two saves from Watanabe down the stretch to preserve the scoreline, which is Dancougar's worst loss since a 4-1 pasting by Vephrall in World Cup 41. Concidentally, both losses came in the group stage against the sitting WCC president.

Might there be some higher power out there after all, watching over the Black Wings with disdain and providing them with their just reward? Dylandy thinks there just might be. "We need to go back to the old days, when crazy kids blew up chickens for the team," he said.

Matchday two preview: v Yafalonia and Bazor 2 (0-0-1): For the second World Cup in a row, the Wings will face the team from FAIL in the group stage. Last time they were 3-1 winners, and a repeat of that result is almost a prerequisite for the team to have any chance of advancing. With a -3 goal differential to try and overcome, anything less than six points from the last two games will probably not be enough.

Both teams lost their opening matches, but Yafalonia and Bazor 2 looked much better against Ad'ihan than the Wings did against the Archregimancy. The loser of this one figures to be completely out of it; a draw ensures that the final matchday will be an interesting one. Solomon Bilbao survived a scare in qualifying to rally his side to six straight wins, and if he learned anything from that, he'll be able to rally his troops to a comeback performance here. But we're standing by our pre-tournament prediction and calling this one a draw.

Drew Papes of the Stoneridge Post has done his job by imploring us to not only look at the schedule, but also to look at Dancougar's interaction with the teams in their group. He believes that bad karma is surrounding this team as a result of the media. Following a column which implied that the WCC hierarch was a creature to be caught, trained, and used in battle, the Archregimancy stuck it to the heathen Black Wings with 4-1 pasting. The media has been playing up Yafalonia and Bazor 2 as a team we should have no problem beating from past experience, so that has "bulletin board material" written all over it.

And while we're talking about bulletin board material, what do you suppose the boys in Ad'ihan think of an earlier mistake in which this very publication ran with an old story about former manager Luke Evans? Well, okay, we already know what they think. But you have to wonder if that story isn't going to circulate around the locker room, earn a few chuckles, and motivate them to beat a bunch of goons who don't seem to know what the heck is going on.

THE EPISTLES OF POLYCARP


Polycarp's Second Letter to Dancougar

To the Tribe of Dan: Greetings

Hello, Fr. Polycarp here - or should I say Fr. Magikarp. Let me assure you that there's as much chance of me turning into a dragon, as some of your media reports were suggesting I might be anticipating, than of the not-so-mighty Dancougar overcoming the Archregimancy. Still, can't say I was anticipating a 4-1 win. You did rather roll over and wilt. Weren't Fr. Rufinius and Fr. John Cassian magnificent? And you didn't seem to have any answer to Fr. John the Dwarf's dribbling ability; sloppy penalty, too. Still, you didn't give up, and more power to you for scoring a late consolation. That's the spirit!

We're glad you thought the church was 'shiny and nice'. We dismantled it brick by brick and then rebuilt it brick by brick all by ourselves. There seems to be some confusion back home among some people who weren't expecting us to take it with us, but I'm sure we can clear that up soon.

However, may I correct a couple of theological misunderstandings in your recent media reports? First of all, while we don't necessarily hold with that Catholic concept of transubstantiation, the wine and bread don't symbolically become the body and blood of Christ, but rather mystically do so. And while Christ is indeed the Son of God, he is also God; God the Father and God the Son, together with God the Holy Spirit, are co-equal an co-substantial. God the Father is the fountainhead of the Holy Trinity; yet the one God is Three Persons -- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit -- eternally sharing the one divine nature. From the Father the Son is begotten before all ages and all time. It is from the Father that the Holy Spirit eternally proceeds . God the Father created all things through the Son, in the Holy Spirit.

Hope that's all clear now! I know it probably all seems a bit silly for you non-believers, but it makes more sense to me than sacrificing rubber chickens to the pagan idol Margaret.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. Polycarp the Venerable
First Hierarch of the World Cup Commitee

Dancougar's Second Letter to Polycarp

To the honorable Fr. Polycarp:

While it is disappointing to see our boys so dramatically overcome in this most important of competitions, I must congratulate you on your stunning victory. Hopefully we will learn from this experience and come out the better for it. A lot of weaknesses were exposed, which will give coach Bilbao plenty to do at practice this week. I can only imagine that playing all your matches in a desert makes you stronger when you come to a place like this. It's easier to breathe, not as sticky, and all that. And regardless of the venue, your team discipline is sublime.

Your corrections have been received and have been passed along to our media outlets. Fortunately for them, I counted two theological corrections, which falls within the cutoff they set for themselves after the Luke Evans debacle. I'm not sure if there's any more sense to this three-being "quantum god" of yours than to the probabilistic goddess our fans turn to in times of need, but the substance of your belief was evident on the pitch. Your team had an extra gear that no amount of tactics and running of ours could match.

We appreciate your patience with us, who long ago abandoned our Christian upbringings on both sides of the fourth wall. In this World Cup which is so often a clash of cultures, it's good that ideas can be freely exchanged without some sort of crusade in tow. And if it's not too much trouble, I know we have to take care of our own business tonight against Yafabaz, but could we request a little help against Ad'ihan?

Yours,
Henry Belfast
Senior Official, Dancougar Football Association

IT'S...

THE WORLD CUP SHOW

With Basil and Theo



"And here in we are beautiful Vephrall as the Holy Empire prepare to take on top four-ranked squad Bostopia. Basil."

"Well, Theo, these johnny-come-lately newbies like Bostopia have been enjoying a bit of success of late. I remember all the way back in World Cup 1, when..."

"Is this going to be another one of your long, tiresome anecdotes, Baz?"

"Maybe"

"Which is why it gives me particular pleasure to interrupt you to point out that the two squads today are honoured by the arrival of the Emperor Boston himself."

"Who?"

"A sort of second-grade Basileus of the Holy Empire, Basil. Except without any the intelligence, foresight, culture, and basic all-around scintillating wit, and more with a love of the simple things in life. Like a nice cup of tea. And... OH YES! THE EMPEROR BOSTON IS ENJOYING HIS FIRST CUP OF TEA OF THE MATCH!!!! And I think it's Earl Grey!"

"Look at the pouring action, Theo - smooth, fluid, controlled. This is an Emperor who knows his tea."

"No doubt about that, Basil..."

<5th minute>

"URKES!!!! A marvellous header from the green-skinned scoring sensation, and Bostopia are behind after only five minutes."

"It seems that the Emperor Boston's reacting by making himself a cup of Lapsang Souchong."

"An interesting choice, Basil."

"Absolutely Theo - no doubt he hopes the strong smoky taste will overcome the bitterness of going behind early. AND LOOK AT HIM POUR!!! I'll say it again, His Imperial Majesty knows his way around a cup of tea, Theo."

"And I have to agree again. Look at him sip from the teacup too... such smooth silky tea-sipping skill... I'm a man in awe."


<54th minute>

"IT'S ORANGE PEKOE!!!!!"

"A magnificent choice by the Emperor, Theo, that easily overshadows Plecnik's equaliser."

"I'd say. That came completely out of left field. I was expecting a cup of Darjeeling, maybe jasmine tea, but Orange Pekoe..."

"This is the most magnificent 90 minutes of tea drinking I think I've ever seen...."


<88th minute>

"With substitute Svettbard putting the favourites ahead for the first time in the match with only minutes left to play, all eyes are on the Emperor Boston - Basil."

"Well, he's worked his way through Earl Grey, Lapsang Souchong, Orange Pekoe - and he seemed to dabble with a small pot of Iron Buddha at halftime..."

"A brave choice, that one, Basil."

"But it looks like that when the chips are down, when the Bostopians finally take the lead, he enjoys nothing more than a patriotic cup of Bostopian breakfast tea."

"I was so sure he'd go for Russian Caravan - or maybe a blackcurrant fruit tea."

"This isn't a man who fools around with fruit teas, Theo. Simple-minded soul though he may be, he likes his teas traditional, and he likes his teas strong."

"And with the final whistle blowing, the Holy Empire may have lost 2-1 to a late goal, but at least we've had the honour of witnessing the finest display of Imperial tea drinking of this or any other world cup."

"I couldn't agree more, Theo. This even overshadowed the Brazillican tea-drinking ceremony of World Cup 3. It's been an honour and a privilege to be here in Vephrall tonight. And now back to the studio..."

Demot Daily ~ What AOCAF?

Last year (Or was it this year? ed.) the 24th AOCAF took place in Bazalonia, with the Dynamo taking part. As usual, the side just could not create any traction and were bounced out rather easily in quarterfinals after just barely scraping into the knockout stage. In that tournament, the Bazalopes handed our Dynamo some painful results, leaving a sour taste in the mouths of many on the side. After the tournament came to its' long awaited conclusion, Rotherwell and Flintus held a players only meeting in which they swore to redeem themselves after such a poor showing, and dish out some pay back if they managed to get drawn with the AOCAF hosts once more.

That redemption was clearly found during the Dynamo's explosive qualifying campaign, where they suffered only a single defeat. Qualifying ahead of The Han Empire and Krytenia, the drive was clearly shown every week of qualifying, with the strike trio leading the way. It was then at the draw that the wishes of the players came true, as that cool night in Vephrall saw the Dynamo be drawn against Bazalonia, as well as AOCAF runners up Starblaydia, and the upstart Jeru FC. It was seen as quite a difficult challange, but if they could hand the Bazalopes a defeat, then the Dynamo could be on their way to the knockouts again.

As the sides took the field for the first matchday of the Proper, there was that driven expression on the faces of all the Dynamo players. This was there time to make up for the past 5 years of dissapointment for them and their fans. This was the time when they could show that the regional tournament was not a true indicator of the stregnth of this nation. One player in particular had it on his mind to show why Demotian football must have the respect of the world, Julius Rotherwell was going to prove that luck could be turned at the drop of a dime.

Ian Jonas would find the Turkish strike man on a low cross that went through Goodrem's legs and right to Rotherwell. A quick shuffle of the feet and a poor timed dive by MacDonald and it was one nil only two minutes into the fixture for the Dynamo. The opening was there in the Bazalonia backline, as the chemistry between the attackers was exploiting the large men's pace, or lack therof. Still, it would take a masterful strike by Rotherwell to beat MacDonald. From thirty yards out and on the left side of the field, Rotherwell took down Zubo's cross on his chest. Given several yards of space, the striker reached into his bag of tricks and put in a perfectly weighted lob that caught MacDonald napping five minutes before the break.

Though the Bazalopes would steal one back early in the half, the result was never in doubt following the second strike. Rotherwell had proven just how much the fortunes of one can change soo quickly, and he was prepared for whatever came next. And this is an aggreviated Purple Peril, who were somehow held by the army men of Jeru FC. A win could clinch the Dynamo's spot in the next round, if there is not a winner in the Bazalonia-Jeru FC fixture.

Demot 2
Julius Rotherwell (2, 40)

Bazalonia 1
Hector Ainsley (56)

Article by Samatha Jordan

“It’s just coming up to seven o’clock on TTO-One, um, as it is everywhere within the North-West Rushmori Time Zone, I’d think, I wouldn’t have thought we have a particular monopoly on… Anyway, coming up later this evening it’s make-or-break time for Phil and Bhadrabhusana as the sex of little Babu is announced, and David gets more than he bargained for when he installs his wireless deer fence… That’s all on Home is Where the Harts Are at seven forty-five, but first it’s time to join Rich Stevens and the lads… for… the… World… Cup… Ftblshw–”

The Football Show’s World Cup title sequence kicks into gear at seven precisely, featuring scenes of 1930s rusticity and hobbits apparently intended to represented Vephrall and the Other Place respectively, before a succession of the world’s great players – who all by sheer coincidence happen to be Candelarias-based – dribble around carthorses and bat-eared elves in figure-hugging green jumpsuits (oh, if only they knew…), surrounding by halos of stray pixels. Lee Waywide inexplicably gives way to a star striker from Bumiroar, before Dionísio Madeira Lobos, Connor Mengucci and Enrique Silva de Aviz form the three heads of some manner of sea monster.

The titles fade and cut to a scene of utter desolation, as several former C&M internationals stagger uncomfortably around a field littered with dismembered limbs (we’re over that whole ‘several hundred people dead and thousands horrifically injured in the Albrecht terror attacks’ thing, apparently), dead horses, and shields with arrows sticking out of them. Juan Carlos Revault, who took drama up to sixth form, kneels down, picks up a battered blue football boot, and weeps bitterly into it.

The scene fades, to be replaced by a glassy-eyed presenter and a woefully thought-out orange and navy blue studio.

“Yes, not so much the Battleground as the Killing Fields, and we’ll be performing the post-mortem on that in just a moment, but here’s what else is coming up on this evening’s World Cup Football Show…”

Whoooosh…

“We look back on all the games from the Eesseff half of the draw… Could Jeruselem possibly pull off an upset against the Capitalizt SLANI, and how would Terreiro de Ogum fair as the sole World Cup debutants this time around? We look ahead to all the action over in Vephrall with Arrigo Portuguese centre-half Tactic Paraben, including the ongoing encounter between Sorthern Nor… No… The other lot have the rights to that o…? Okay, but we will be looking at the Yaforite squad because, let’s be honest, someone has to… And elsewhere, we’ll be bringing you all the action from the final weekend of the innaugral Myedvedeyan championship, because we do have the rights to that, for some reason… And chatting to David Spooner, on life at the Sausages Arena and leading the line for the Shining Sons in the Champions’ Cup… All that and, of course, so much more – and I’m joined to discuss all that for by National Reporter… um… reporter, Iain Miller, twel–”

“Hi, Rich.”

“Yeah, can you not…? We’re pushed for time a bit, so if I can just say your name and then…”

“Yeah, sure, sorry.”

“Nah, it’s no problem. Just so we can fit as much in as possible, y’know?”

“Sure, sure.”

“I just didn’t want you to think I was being unfriendly.”

“No, it’s fine. We all understand the pressures of live broadcasting, don’t we?”

Murmurs of agreement.

“Okay, that’s good to know. Also here tonight is twelve-cap former C&M international Juan Carlos Revault, now on Karl Matthews’ coaching staff at KT Hotspur, si–”

“Buenos di–”

“Sorry, did I not just…?”

“Ach, sorry amigo… ¿Automatic response, no? I w–”

“That’s fine, but let’s just get through this as quickly and painlessly as possible… Sixty-four cap and former C&M international captain Ben Head, now on Hane Davies’ coaching staff at Green Island…”

Pause.

“No? Okay, fine, whatever… And, as ever, the legend that is Tom McIndoe. So, C&M started their fourth World Cup finals campaign last night, up against long-time international also-rans Tynelia, a side ranked nine places ahead of the Big Blues and coming off the back of a sparkling qualifying campaign… Um, we’re supposed to roll the VT now, but I can’t really be arsed and it’d save us thousands in royalties not to, so let’s just cut to the chase… Iain, that was pants, wasn’t it?”

“I take your pants, and raise you long johns, Rich… No, it was pretty disappointing. No lack of effort, you can’t fault them on that account, but organisationally Tynelia completely had our number. Player-for-player, where it counted, the little battles were all won by the Tynelian players… We had chances –”

“Several, in fact.”

“Sure, we weren’t completely barren in that account, and honestly could have hit three ourselves, but…”

“We alsa’ could’ve conceded half a duzzin more, so…”

“Ben, yup, you played sixty-four times in the holding midfield position for C&M… Was the defence given enough protection, do you think?”

“More’n most tames get… Naw, look, err, Matteo Corradini should never a-went t’Vala… there, in the first place, it were an inane decision to tak’ him at al’. ‘ee simply didn’t deserve to be there, on ‘is current fatbull level, never moid what he gots uwp t’in Arrigo…”

“¡That’s a bit harsh, Ben, consid–”

“Aren’t thee arnestly ashamed, though, that thes man es representin’ – captinin! – thee’s carntree?”

“No… No, Matteo’s been a wonderful servant to… ¡Mierda, hombre, you played alongside him for… how long?”

“Oi’m merely sayin’ tha–”

“Perhaps we can come back to this a little later, guys, because this game’s gone, it’s over, three-nil… I mean, Iain, do the media have to take some blame for hyping up our chances here?”

“No. No, I don’t think so, particularly… Look, it’s the World Cup, we’re bound to get a little excited, but I think we’ve said right from the start, y’know, we’re not coming into this in the best of form… It’s patchy, I think we can all see that, and we all knew there was a strong chance that we were going to utterly flunk this World Cup, particularly in a tough group like this… Healy made mistakes, the players made mistakes, but, y’know…”

“Juan Carlos, you want to…?”

“No, but I just say, I think we can be very harsh on our players. Tynelia are a world-class team, we’re still developing. I say, Healy… He’s done magical things, a Cup of Harmony title, World Cup quarter-finalists… We can’t just expect to be capable of that time and time again! Three-nil, yes, but there are positives from that performance… No! No, there are, Ben, certainly. There are things we can develop on for the Eesseff game, and we shouldn’t… I just saying, the performance on the whole was not at all that bad, considering, an–”

“Nart a performan’ of a ‘wurrild power’, tha’? Or a phenomena’ side on the edge of something spect’lar? Or –”

“I reckon you need to stop reading those dodgy foreign newspapers, Ben…”

“It was not a good performance Benny no, but… I thought, booing? ‘Are you the Occupational Medicine Department in disguise?’ That was unnecessary…”

“As far as I’m concerned, the fans can chant what they want – particularly those who’ve had to pay through the nose to get there, that’s their right. I would agree with JC that it’s premature though, y’know, we’ve all done the maths. We can draw… we can lose against the hosts and still go through, potentially, if everything else went our way… Admittedly we’d need to rack up a cricket score against Az-cz as well, but…”

“Are we just discounting the Eesseff game, then, or what?”

“Eff armour tubby a light tummy acher come ent…?”

“No, sorry Tom, we’re running out of time a tad… Iain?”

“Yeah, look, I don’t think anyone can see how we can possibly beat the Eesseff… I don’t think the teamsheet’s been released yet, but… You’ve got your finger in your ear, so you’re either being highly unprofessional or…?”

“We do actually have the starting XI for that game, Iain, as you say… I’m just being told… Yes, so, Sbaïz still in goal, the back four of Dixon, Williams, Silva de Aviz, Kelly… So Ciaran Kelly in for Adekunde there… Um… A midfield… four, of Cohen, Mengucci, Madeira Lobos and Kortsarian… And… two up front, with Ibadulla partnering Smith… Gosh, well. That wasn’t what we expected but, um… Healy had to go for broke, and he’s done that, hasn’t he?”

“Gone fer brak’ with a four-four-two…”

“It’s still a departure from the norm though, Ben… No, it’s… Well, it’s a risk. I’m pretty sure Abdul and Tom haven’t had more than ten minutes together up front in a game yet… It’s an odd time to give it a go, but…”

“And no Corradini, either. Given that we need a point, is this really the way to go, should we not be packing the defence, or…?”

“No, you’re not… You’re not going to keep a clean sheet against this lot, I don’t care how good your defenders are. Look, this is to some degree inarguable. Y’know, you talk about world-class, but that’s Abdul Ibadulla right there. He’s there, we’ve got him. Yes, he’s been in-and-out so far, and it hasn’t entirely clicked with Dionísio, but he’s been an absolute star in, funnily enough, the Eesseff, of late, and it’s a given that he should start. Alongside him, Tom Smith, leading scorer in the CMSC so far for a pretty inconsistent team… You’ve got to play to our strengths, and our strengths are that we’ve actually got two really rather good forwards who, I think, should compliment each other perfectly. Healy obviously hasn’t felt that, watching them in training and so forth, but perhaps he feels that he’s got nothing to lose…”

“Ben, you’re shaking your head… Do you have parasites, or…?”

“Oi jest thinks thes smacks ar’ desperation, to be arnest…”

“He’s dropped Corradini, though. And Smith’s back in – a fellow Green Island native, Ben.”

“An’ that’s an excellent move, though comin’ far too late. An’ where’s Jack Marshall, the most on-form Candelariasian there be, roight now?”

“But you’d drop Dionísio…?”

“Well… Person’ly, oi wouldn’t ‘ave hem playin’ for us at all, but…”

“¿Would that be C&M citizen Dionísio Madeira Lobos, Benny? ¿As opposed to Green Island citizen, and therefore not actual Candelariasian, Tom Smith? ¿Or, indeed, Ben Head?”

“Dis thee wantin’ t’tak thes outsoide…?!”

“Okay, guys, perh–”

“FOR GOD’S SAKE, FOR SWEET BABY JESUS, WILL YOU SHUT THOSE STUPID PEOPLE UP!!”

The silence echoed around the Harris’ house. There was quite a lot of it, house and silence alike, and the overall effect was surprisingly affecting.

Jenny didn’t turn round, shamefully eager not to see the looks on the children’s faces. Were they upset? Hurt? Scared? Resigned to the fact that Mummy in Government was a darn sight more unpredictable to Mummy in Opposition?

“You alright, Jen? You seem a little stressed…”

The Minister for Remedial Teaching growled softly, detecting the bitterness and sarcasm wrapped up in her husband’s soothing tones. As it happened, she wasn’t stressed. The screen in front of her was bare, there was nothing to worry about. That was a big part of the problem.

“I’m just sick of it, Steve. Sometimes… And the football. Why should anyone care remotely whether bloody Tom Smith is partnering Abdul bloody Abdullah? I…”

“Ibadulla…”

“It’s like the State gives us a constant stream of this stuff, whether there’s a World Cup on or not, to distract the country from what’s really important.”

Steve frowned. “Jenny, you are the State.”

“My point exactly,” the Minister sighed.

“Ooh, enigmatic. What could you be hiding?”

He’d said it playfully, she thought, but Jenny didn’t meet his eyes just in case. What did he know? She’d told him nothing about her new line of work, out of the wish for a simple life rather than a legal necessity to do so, but who was to say that Steve hadn’t already had a pretty good idea of the big cosy lie that wrapped the Candelarias in mind-sapping cotton wool months ago, or even years before? He went abroad on occasion, after all. His company had bases of operation in Peregrinus City, Stoedt, Nanticoke, Bread & Cheese, Ssotapel, Pickering, Timeo Danaos, Connellovelle... All across the western half of the region, and while even those cities could be pretty cosseted too, he’d had to have at least grasped the merest sense that something in C&M was, in a general sense at least, ‘Up’.

She smiled weakly, and opened her mouth to reply again before –

“They should so play Matteo Corradini!”

“Should not! He bit that Reddinun player in the –”

Jenny banged her head on the table in the other room. “Okay, that’s it, whatever. I’m going out…”

“Seeing that Roheart woman again?” Steve asked coldly.

“Rohaert. Yes. That a problem, dear?”

“Not at all. Don’t worry about us. It’s good for you to have girlfriends, I’d say.”

“Wish I could say the same about you, Steven. Seen my purse?”

***

“You don’t think it was too harsh, do you?”

“I do wish you’d tackle that scallop, I do know that… I don’t care for the way it’s leering at me…”

“Only, I know I was the one to go all extra-marital first, but we’re, y’know, quits now and… Oh God, I’m so heading for a divorce, aren’t I…?”

“I… I’m really not great at this sort of conversation to be honest, Jenny. Look, if you’re not going to eat that, can I use it to remove the potato chunks from my shrimp platter?”

The minister sighed. “And what about you then, Sukie? Any thoughts on offspring yourself?”

“What, and ruin this figure?”

“You could always adopt. I hear the Pazhujeb Islands have orphans on two-for-one this Christmas.”

“I’d rather have an iPod. Easier to wrap an’ all.” The pathologist grinned. “Little buggers doing you down, are they?”

“Oh, of course not. I could do without Julia serenading us with ‘The Wheels on the Bike Go Round and Round’ at half four in the morning, but…”

“Sure. What concerns you more, though; that everyone know it should be ‘bus’ not ‘bike’, or the possibility of accidentally summoning an army of sentient beans?”

Jenny stuck her tongue out. “I forget how much you know about… everything, sometimes.”

“Talking vaguely of which… Shouldn’t you really be over there?”

“In Vala…” She paused, and glanced around the sparsely filled restaurant before dropping her voice an octave. “In Valanora? I’m just grateful for the opportunity to avoid having to actually watch the bloody matches.”

“It’s just… Y’know. The last time they played over there, Hernández and the Ministry were all over it like a rash, and yet you’re…”

“Stuck back here? I can’t pretend I’m chuffed about it. Basically all I have in my life, apart from the kids, is this job…”

“I’ve heard that before…”

“I’m being pushed out, I just know it. There are so many factions within the Ministry, so many agendas. Clearly most of my predecessors suited their various causes, but they’re out there now, brain-draining the unfortunate Candelariasian travelling party, and I’m here organising a few minor propaganda projects. A newspaper article here, and couple of inane pieces for the paranormal magazines… It’s hardly meaty stuff, is it? You’ve got Candelariasians interacting with elves on a one-to-one basis, and God knows the Vanorian authorities would love to make trouble for us on that account, and yet the minister supposedly in charge of it all –”

“Is left behind to feel sorry for herself and binge on potato-based seafood? What I’ve never understood – and I know Lyndon certainly didn’t – is why relations between our government and theirs are so chilly… We’re basically on the same side, aren’t we? All this guff about annexation and whatnot…”

“I wish I could tell you, but I guess that’s a matter for the Foreign Office, and the deep-down Ministry people… For all I know, our respective top officials may get on like a house on fire. Remember, they’re no more truly democratic than we are, at the highest level. There’s clearly secrets even an elven public aren’t allowed to know… I’m not entirely sure I care greatly. I just want to know that I’m doing something useful…”

“Who actually told you to stay behind?”

“It was more of a general consensus, but…”

“Look, they’re playing against elves. And then gnomes. The Minister for Rational Thought, whatever your ridiculous new job title is, should be out there!”

“So I should!”

“Also, I wouldn’t say no to a long weekend overseas!”

“I… Well, I suppose…”

“I haven’t been anywhere exotic for ages…”

“Where did you visit last, then?”

“Um… A distopian alternate present brought into existence by arcane technology bewildered by human lucid dreams manipulated by goblinesque supernatural beings.”

“Right. Okay, well. Valanari’s nice this time of year, I expect…”

They left the money on the table, along with a healthy tip, and the teenage waiter at Finnegan’s Wok pocketed it, waited until they were comfortably down the street, and clicked the digital voice recorder in his pocket back to ‘off’.

Happily back inside his lofty mansion inside the city named after his ancestors, Tobias Raynor was being questioned by General Edmund Duke about what exactly transpired.

"Dammit boy, where the hell did you go, and why did you reappear inside those darn speciest isles? It just does not add up at all. One minute you are on your way to a perimeter check point to check in with a close friend, the next you are literally gone. Your tracking beacon is not sending a signal, the camp at which your craft landed was deserted. Then there are all those odd footprints and camp remains outside the border wall that have no explination."

"As I told you when I first arrived back here in Valanora, that is a matter upon which I have taken a solemn vow of silence in order to maintain the peace inside our country. Had I not done what I did, then even Elune's protective barrier would have not been enough to stop the wrath of the forces that were waiting outside that wall General. I made an arrangement for all of Valanora, not just me, and I will keep that information a secret so long as I can without risking further harm to either of the parties invovled. Do I make myself clear?!!"

"Oh boy, I have been your trusted supporter and protector for several decades now and you refuse to treat me as an equal. Your grandfather still divulges in me whenever I ask him for imortation that I deem important. Yet here you are, refusing to let me know what happen, how you were captured, and how you managed to appear out of the blue in Caires. If this is the case, then cosider this my resignation sir."

"Don't be soo dramatic Edmund, there is a reason for everything I do. Have I not proven my loyality to you and this country of ours time after time after time? Do you soo easily forget the sacrifices that me and my family have made so that this country continues on as it does? How quickly you have thrown away the trust that we have built over those decades on a decision that not only continues our existance, but also doubles the force of our standing army. Now calm down Edmund, there are forces at work that even a general of your stature is not allowed to know about. Hell, even my wife does not know of the arrangement that I have made, and she is the Great Leader.

But if it will ease your mind, I want you to think back to centuries ago when the the region still was in the west, back before the day when the sky turned back, before we migrated ourselves. Think to when it was just the ESF in the middle of the youngworld, and all the region was at war. There was a nation to our east that had this most unusually of gifts that allowed them to be the finest warriors and assasains in known history. This nation then mysteriously vanishes without a trace, 1 billion people just all of the sudden gone in the blink of an eye. A few remained, scattered out on missions, but returned home to nothing, and thus came to us, their closest neighbors."

The faintest of whispers were heard as Edmund's eyes shot wide and a small grin appeared, "The Dark Templara have returned?"

Once again, the pais-de-santo Pai Jacinto and Pai Adoniran are talking, as they are very good friends. They are now in Jacinto's terreiro, where they are getting prepared to make a ritual after dinner.

PAI JACINTO - "Well, let's make this ritual soon, as Terreiro de Ogum will play..."

PAI ADONIRAN - "Yes, the rituals are really working recently, it seems that the Orixás are happy that the team is performing well... they're helping a lot, and our players seem stronger than ever!"

PAI JACINTO - "But we must continue pleasing them if we want to see our players being empowered... give me the black chicken, and the cachaça!"

PAI ADONIRAN - "Here they are... by the way, we didn't win our first game against Rennidan? Does this mean that we are out?"

PAI JACINTO - "No, we still have chances, but our next opponents are difficult ones. We will need the Orixás to get results from these games."

PAI ADONIRAN - "Changing topics now, Jacinto... I'm glad that the crazy Landau Institute patient didn't disturb you during the last game of Terreiro de Ogum..."

PAI JACINTO - "Oh yes... but do you know why? He was in Gladerial, he invaded the stadium where Cafundéu and Lovisa were playing!"

PAI ADONIRAN - "Wait. Are you saying that he is in Valanora?"

PAI JACINTO - "That's correct."

PAI ADONIRAN - "But how did he reach there? He was here in Terreiro de Ogum a week ago!"

PAI JACINTO - "By feet."

PAI ADONIRAN - "Walking? But it's another country, kilometers from here!"

PAI JACINTO - "But it's Valanora. It's not so far away, it's not in the other side of the world."

PAI ADONIRAN - "But it isn't less than three thousand kilometers, Jacinto!"

PAI JACINTO - "Well, I just know that he is now in Valanora, and that he walked from here to there... maybe he is a supernatural person..."

PAI ADONIRAN - "And what is he doing there?"

PAI JACINTO - "I think he went there to find a job."

PAI ADONIRAN - "Probably. Well, let's end with this ritual and watch the soap opera then... last week of it, the drug dealer was found by the police and arrested, while Odakale is planning his return to Yafor Two together with his girlfriend, who was the girlfriend of the drug dealer some episodes ago..."

PAI JACINTO - "Yes, but I heard that the drug dealer will escape, and maybe even with the help of that Daehanjeiguk investigator, who is another villain..."

PAI ADONIRAN - "Surely we can't lose these episodes!"

(they leave)

In Valanora...

TROMBADA - "Man, this is the perfect place to find a job, man, sixteen National Teams are playing here, man!"

TROMBADA - "Which teams are inside this stadium? Man, it's Cafundéu, man... but they're winning, man, I can't ask for a job now... if they're winning, they won't need a new coach, man, I have to find another solution."

Trombada passes near a newspaper stand.

TROMBADA - (points the gun at the man) "Give me a newspaper man!" (takes the newspaper) "Man, Rennidan only drew with Terreiro de Ogum, man! I must ask a job for them, man, they are really in need of a new coach, man!"

Trombada takes his shirt off, cuts his finger and starts to write on the newspaper.

TROMBADA - "That's it, man, a letter for the Rennidan directors, man, they have to hire me now, man."

TROMBADA - "Dear Rennidan man. Your team is playing badly, man, you need a new coach, man. Someone who knows how to motivate the players and to pressure the referee, man. I've come from the Landau Institute, man, and I simply love football, man! Please give me an opportunity to be the coach of your team, man! Chicão Trombada."

Trombada gives the letter to a post office worker.

Vephrall region MD2 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14214822&postcount=21)

Matchday 2 scores for Groups A-D are posted. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14214853&postcount=22)

It's a winner-take-all showdown against Lovisa then - although a draw is enough for Kura-Pelland if Cafundeu do the business against Jaseuyeon - after a second 1-1 in succession.

But this was a real achievement, and came after 41 minutes of utter Cafundelense dominance thwarted only by incredible defending. 20-year-old goalkeeper Paul Hodgson made a name for himself with several world-class saves, denying Danilo Sampa with his right foot from five yards and twice making full-length diving saves from shots by Augusto César and Marossi. But if he made a name for himself on the world's biggest stage, it was nothing compared to what the even younger Harry Oughton did four minutes from half-time.

Oughton, who turns 20 just after this World Cup ends, controlled a long lofted pass from Bo Phelps with his left thigh, taking it away from his marker Silveira, before immediately unleashing a thunderbolt shot with his right foot into the top left corner of Júlio Sampa's goal. It was an extraordinary moment, one Kura-Pellandi television will be repeating for many years to come, and one could not have thought of a better way to announce a young star's arrival.

The Cafundelense revival in the second half was practically inevitable, and the resistance of the Kura-Pellandi defence was finally broken on the hour when substitute Hubert was first to the rebound after Hodgson made another fine save from Danilo Sampa's well-placed shot. The final half-hour was frantic and dominated by the Cafundelense team, who had a goal disallowed for offside in the 85th minute, but Kura-Pelland almost snatched a famous victory in injury time when Keith Wilder was left loose on a counter-attack, only to hit the post. To be honest, it would have been very fortunate indeed if they had won.

Lovisa should be easy meat on this form, but they eliminated Kura-Pelland last time. This time, at least, a draw is likely to be enough, although if Cafundeu lose to Jaseuyeon it will not be, and a draw in that match would lead to complicated tie-breaking scenarios.

Jeruselem Government News

It's Jeruselem day!

World Cup 43 ... could we have two Jeruselem teams into the 2nd round?

In Group D, Jeruselem took on Rennidan. Having beaten the SLANI 4-0, this was supposed to be an easier game. But Rennidan proved very hard to break down. Jeruselem found it impossible to dominate Rennidan who was playing really well against the Princesses. Rennidan even threatened to score goals but they were quickly shut down by a plucky defense who make Rennidan's attacking groove difficult. It was late in the 2nd half and Rennidan will still holding on to one point. Both teams were getting tired but determined to fight on still. The difference proved to be a tired tackle by Rennidan on Princess Marie who sent crashing face down in the penalty area. She almost knocked herself out but avoided headbanging a goal post. Marie took her own penalty kick and calmly scored the only goal of the game. Rennidan was brave in defeat but one moment of tireness ruined their day. A Dallas is not one to miss a chance. Jeruslelem will make the 2nd round.


The SLANI were made of FAIL today. They could only draw Terreiro de Ogum 1 ALL and handled Jeruselem automatic qualification to the 2nd round. No team in Group D can catch Jeruselem. 2nd in Group D is lowly ranked Terreiro de Ogum with two draws. The SLANI are last.

Jeru FC shocked Bazalonia THREE TWO. Ryan's team ran out like they had something to play for. They went in hard and fought for everything despite their lack of real skill. While their defending was a bit dodgy at best, they never gave up the fight against the Bazalopes. All the players wanted to win, and knew they needed three points since they had to play Demot in the last game. Bazalonia looked a bit rattled by the commited Cannons who were putting a performance of fighting spirit. Jeru FC play qualifed Demot next, should Jeru FC draw or win - they will make the 2nd round AND HISTORY.

The Purple Menace are Jeru FC's main threat. They need to beat Bazalonia so a Bazalonia win or a draw will give Jeru FC a spot in the 2nd round, even if Demot beat our Cannons.

Group E is of interest to Ryan Greenly who is from Qazox and Jeruselem who have Merginn coaching the nutty SN. All teams drew in Group E leaving Yafor 2 with the only win this group leading Qazox, SN and Krytenia. This group is so open, any team can make the 2nd round. Yafor 2 only need a draw or win - the others need to win their games.

The Holy Monks from The Archregimancy crashed to Ah'ihan 0-1 and blew their chance to seal a 2nd round spot.

Demot, Jeruselem, and them Elves have made the 2nd round. Most groups will be settled in the last game.

QSPN.Com World Cup Coverage

WORLD CUP SCHEDULE
MD1: DRAW 2-2 #24 Sorthern Northland @ Becugheralang, Vephrall
MD2: DRAW 3-3 #29 Krytenia @ Becugheralang, Vephrall
MD3: #15 Yafor 2 @ Apenbast, Vephrall

It always comes down to the 3rd game for Qazox doesn't it? Every time they have participated in the Cup, Qazox's final game determines their fate. Excepting World Cups 35, 38 and 39, when they were already eliminated upon the beginning of the pentultimate game, Qazox has a record of 1-1-5 in the final game, and in every one a win was needed to advance.

So guess what? We need a win to advance once again, after the 3-3 draw against Krytenia. Both teams traded goals throughout the match and neither side could gain that one extra goal. Krytenia's Kevin Breitenreiter opened up the scoring in the 14th minute, But Raul de Olivares answered just 8 minutes late to tie it at 1-all. Casper Smith made it 2-1 Krytenia in the 40th minute and the teams went into the half with the score 2-1.

de Olivares scored in the 59th to re-tie the match at 2-2, and in the 71st minute, Qazox took the lead for the first time on Jason Erca's goal. Erca came in for Yolanda Christian in the 65th after Christian sustained a lower leg injury, which turned out to be an ankle sprain. With time running down in the match and the Phoenix clinging to a 3-2 lead, Caspar Smith snuck a header into the net in the 88th minute, ending the match at 3-3.

Up next is Yafor 2, the toughest team left in the group. If Qazox wins, they advance to the next round and could advance with a draw, provided that Sorthern Northland and Krytenia draw and SN doesn't have more Goals Scored than Qazox does. IF somehow SN and Qazox finish level on points at 0-3-0 and GS then it would be a coinflip to determine the 2 teams, most likely.

QAZOX SCORING today
Raul de Olivares- 22', 59'
Jason Erca- 71'

QAZOX World Cup SCORING
Raul de Olivares- 2
Charles Marquis- 1
Yolanda Christian- 1
Jason Erca- 1

QAZOX Qualifier SCORING
Charles Marquis- 10
Raul de Olivares- 9
Yolanda Christian- 6
Bonnie Young- 2
Jason Erca- 2
Brittany Lopes- 2
Michelle de Barre- 2
Opal Howard- 2
Benjamin Ernst- 2
Georgette Savoy- 2
David Shultz- 1

Jeruselem Government News

Alfredo Neves praises Ryan Greenly for great effort

Jeru FC on the verge of making it's own history, lead by a coach from Qazox - Ryan Greenly got encouragement from four times Jeru FC coachh Alfredo Neves. Neves who now lives in Jeruselem doing some junior coaching at schools. Neves said
"Ryan's a great man here. He's taken a good team and make it better. Sure, Jeru FC isn't the Jeruselem team with superstars but it's the team spirit. The team can be a bit fragile but team seems to be in fantastic shape. I've been watching the games. They aren't the slick skillful team you want but they have enough skills. The game against Demot will not be easy but given Jeru FC have done so well, you cannot say they cannot win. I hope the team can make history, but if they fail - it is no shame. They have exceeded expections already. The team are heroes already."

Ryan Greenly seemed worried about his home team Qazox
"I'm no longer coach of Qazox, but they still give me the jitters! Jeru FC aren't expected to make the 2nd round but my home team should be. Jeruselem made the 2nd round like expected but I'm always nervous with Qazox on the last day of the group stage. I'm glad there is no Bostopia or Jeruselem in Group E, or I'd be a nervious wreck. Qazox need to win - rather simple. Two draws doesn't get you anywhere. We need a strong Qazox World Cup team in our nation's time of need."

And so, it comes to this. Ninety minutes of graft and craft against tose turpentine-drinking communist fanatics - or Sorthern Northland, as the rest of the world knows them. Crazy mathematical mathematics mean that a four-nil drubbing will take us through no matter what those formerly-naked fillet steak worshippers (or "Qazox", if you want to be boring) throw at...well, actually, I have nothing witty to say about the Yaforites, they're far too dull. Of course, a Yaforite win will make the mathematical mathematics much easier - we'll just need to get the three points - but we have to crush the drunken tramps first.

Let's just not talk about our last meeting with the Sortherners, K?

I'm Rami Niblick, and I can drink any Sortherner under the table. More meths, nurse!

The first red balls started to fly up from the mountain. Warning alarms blared as each plane picked up the incoming attack. They broke formation. Tetsuya nudged his accelerator and simply outran the shots. Erica and Russ broke left and moved away from the center, while Peter nudged his plane to the right. When it became apparent that they were different from the comparatively immobile drones they had been sending before, the intensity of the attack picked up.

"They've got a pretty sizable defense!" said Russ. "But we can only put a lower bound on their numbers."

"But those eyes aren't really what I care about," muttered Tetsuya. He continued to fly more or less in a straight line over the summit, easily dodging the shots. "I want to know if they have any more of those monsters in there. I guess I'll have to get in closer!" He banked hard and dropped altitude quickly, diving down towards the caldera. "Eagle Missile!" he yelled as he launched his attack. That cleared the way for a quick flyby, and his combat camera snapped a few quick shots. They came up on his screen... there was a black swarm forming inside.

The flying eyes started to rise out of the volcano, creating a swarm directly above the mountain. It looked about as large as the one which had attacked the base earlier. "Gray Sister confirmed!" Russ said. "They've already replenished their force?"

"Or had more to begin with?" asked Tetsuya.

"We should get out of here!" yelled Peter. "There's too many of them. We'll be overrun!"

"They're already out; a battle's unavoidable," Erica said. She tried to keep her voice from shaking. She'd sorely underestimated their numbers, and they were highly aggressive. She couldn't decide. How long would they last if they fought now? "We should call for assistance. We need better numbers!"

Shots were flying out of the column. Erica pulled up as she banked away from it, while Russ and Peter followed low and behind her. Tetsuya banked toward the cloud and weaved through the fire. "Here's a little farewell present!" he shouted. "EAGLE CUTTER!!" The glowing machine blasted through the cloud and took out a whole line of them. He nudged his throttle to pick up speed, and the spinning demon cloud now broke into a line to chase them.

"Freya 1 to Kaguya Control, come in!" radioed Erica. "They dispatched a cloud of Gray Sister and they're in pursuit. We need immediate assistance from the Beast Machines!"

"They should be right on top of you, Freya 1," the controller replied. Erica looked around her wildly. The cloud was visible behind her, and shots were flying at their planes. Three friendly signals appeared on her scope.

"Y-you guys!" she cried. Her face brightened.

"We're not just going to let you fly out without cover!" replied Joe. "What if one of those monsters appears again?"

Tetsuya grinned and prepared to pull an about-face. Those guys, so they actually decided to back us up... A storm of laser fire came up from the ground and flew past them. This caused the demons' movements to change yet again. Several were struck, while others were able to scramble clear. A second attack came from the ground. This got the demons off their tail so the fighters could perform a clean turn.

Erica brought her plane around and soon had Peter and Russ join her flanks. A second formation pulled up beside them, as the Build Angels entered the fray. There was a flash as Tetsuya's Eagle blasted another swath through them. "Guys, we should force them closer to the ground!" Erica radioed. "Then our backup can reach them easier."

"Loud and clear!" answered Russ. He felt better knowing that they had powerful support now. All he had to do was avoid drawing too much attention at once. Against groups of two or three at a time, the Rhinemaiden was more than enough to cut down the enemy. "Peter, keep close!" They opened up with their machine guns first and then dropped altitude as soon as they got attention.

Inoue noticed their tactic. "Angel 2, Angel 3, we're not going to lose to them, understood?" Sonya and Christina followed her with machine guns blazing, as their own squadron jumped into the fray.

On the ground, Daniel jogged into position and took note of the Rhinemaidens' tactics. His pulled up his targeting systems and armed his secondary weapons. "Joe, Jun, they're bringing them down for us!" he shouted. He armed his missiles. "Let's make sure they don't have anywhere to run!" He released his payload. Moments later, Jun and Joe each fired off their micromissiles. The exhaust trails formed intricate streaks throughout the sky as they chased their targets. Explosions rippled through the sky.

Erica breathed a sigh of relief as the enemy's numbers dwindled. Maybe she was going to escape this one after all.

********************

Stephen checked his connections one last time. After further analyzing the demon's neural core, he'd determined which areas were responsible for the functions he wanted to tap into - visuals and wireless transmission. He had a power source nearby to try and jumpstart the core, as well as a small CPU to assist in processing the signals. He was making some rather crude assumptions about how information was transmitted throughout the demon's system.

If this works, I might get some more insight into what the colonel is planning, Stephen thought. He decided to give it a whirl. He flipped on the power supply and his own computer started clicking. The core glowed a little and emitted a low hum. There was a flash on his monitor, but at first it was just static. Stephen narrowed his eyes. A low ring was starting to sound from the core.

Images started to flow in. It was a chaotic stream. At first, he could just see a dark sky with other demons just flying past, each second a few vantage point. No, it was faster than that. His system was almost certainly dropping information; there was too much incoming imagery and his refresh rate would be too low even if he could process it all. This is... a physical collective consciousness! he thought. One can see what they all see!

He tried to focus. Eventually, the focus switched from the rest of the cloud to the enemies they were fighting. There were planes, mecha, missiles, chaos. Stephen smiled. It identified its allies, and then the threat, he thought. We can use this!

********************

Boldozaa stormed into the central cavity of the volcano. "Gaizok!" he shouted, his booming voice echoing off the mountain's insides. "What is wrong with the Nazar? Why are they being defeated?"

"The enemy's iron beasts have appeared!" his general answered. There was a simmering ball of energy floating above the magma pool over which they were standing. It was starting to take shape... a slender neck and head was being ended with a long beak, and large wings were growing out of the main body. "I have prepared Wind Titan Goldorak to do battle with them. This time we will not fail."

Boldozaa grinned. "Recall the Nazar, and release it at once!" The energy ball exploded and a screech filled the air. The monster's outline could only dimly be seen, but there were dust fragments and the like swirling around the outside of its body. The purple core was hidden behind all that. As it rose to the surface, the first returning Nazar were sucked into its body. The demons became a part of the titan, which screeched as it breached the surface.

Back at the battlefield, Erica was polishing off one of the last retreating demons when she noticed the form rising out of the volcano. "Heads up, the big one's coming out!" she yelled. "Big brother, that's...!!"

Daniel looked up and saw the winged beast. It looked like it was covered in the demons they had just been fighting. He searched the sky for Tetsuya and got into position near Joe's Mammoth. "Freya Team, Angel Team, get clear. Everyone, we have to form Dancougar!!"

"Damnit"

"Yep"

"We're going to get second place in our group again"

"And you know what this means?"

"Yep, we play those goddamn elves in octafinals again and we are going to lose again"

"Why does this happen every World Cup? This is the third straight World Cup and the third straight occurrence of this phenomenon"

"Remember when we were in the Olympics and that guy Jaffacake, or something like that, said everything was rigged"

"Yes"

"I think it's something like that"

"Hey I think you're right, the World Cup is anti-semitic"

"Yeh how many Jewish nations are there in the World Cup?"

"I'd say 2 or 3"

"And how many have won the World Cup?"

"None"

"How many Muslim nations are there?"

"Well Bettia is mostly Muslim and waaaaaaaaaay back when I think Al-Quds was Muslim so that's at least 2 if not more"

"And they won World Cups"

"Yep"

"And atheist nations?"

"Well SLANI won and Commerce Heights won and they are capitalist bastard which makes them by definition atheist"

"So there are the atheists"

"The elves have won it"

"Well they have powers, of course they won it"

"Hmm... well a lot of mixed/Christian teams have won the World Cup"

"Yet neither team in the Dreamed Realm has"

"Truth"

"So then explain that?"

"Maybe the World Cup is anti-religious"

"That must be it!"

"THE WORLD CUP IS ANTI-RELIGIOUS"

"RELIGIOUS NATIONS OF THE WORLD UNITE AGAINST THIS RACISM OF RELIGION AND FIGHT BACK!"

"Ummm... I think Milchama is turning into a nation of old coots"

"Why?"

"Well just look at what we have said recently, we have bashed elves for our losing, bashed Orthodox people for hurting each other and now are saying that the World Cup is rigged against us. I think we need a new hobby"

"I think we need to stop quitting and start being real people"

"O...k..."

"Yep"

"Well ummm.... yeh we suck"

"Yep"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Yeh that as well"

"You know when we play the Elves we should pray to Margaret"

"yeh we should"

"Ok well then..."

"Come on you Warriors!"

TO: Monique Alexander, Jeruselem World Cup 43 coach
FROM: Georgina Hayes, PA to Merginn Moffat

Dear Monique,

On behalf of Mr. Moffat, I would like to start by apologising for the long delay in sending a response to your “lovely letter” from towards the end of qualification. There are a couple of reason for the delay, the first being that our postman was slightly drunk and crashed his bike into a stray cactus on the streets of Beningrad while delivering this letter. The second reason is that Merginn was quite surprised to be contacted by a woman and as such fainted with shock. From what I gather women usually only correspond with him either to tell him to bugger off or to file a lawsuit for harassment against him. Can't say I understand why, he's always really sweet to me. Thinking about it actually there was that incident where he tried flirting with the President's wife but failed spectacularly. We all laugh about that now though, so no harm was done I guess, even the President found it funny.

Despite occasional appearances to the contrary all of us in Sorthern Northland are delighted to have made it to a second consecutive World Cup, and hold Mirginn in high regard for the things he has achieved for us, and with him in charge all we fully believe we can get a draw with the mighty Krytenia in the next game! Which could possibly mean we get knocked out of the World Cup despite being unbeaten, and although we would prefer to qualify for the next round, wouldn't it be quite amusing to get knocked out without losing a game?

I also noticed that Merginn recently won the Jeruselem Coach of the Year award, which surprised him hugely as he thoroughly expected you to win the award, and offers his condolences to you on missing out on the award. He even tells me he voted for you, but looking at his call record I think he may have accidentally phoned the local pizza shop rather than Radio Dallas to cast his vote. An easy mistake I'm sure.

As a Jeruselemite Merginn is also thoroughly delighted to see that Jeruselem have already sealed their place in the next round of the World Cup and hopes the team goes on to do really well in this tournament. He's also just told me to thank you for sending a copy of "Club Party", he says it reminds him very much of the incident with the President and his wife.

Yours soberly,
Georgina

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
A Globo Multimedia partner

WORLD CUP 43 – VALANORA AND VEPHRALL
Full coverage – including comments from Breno Gavião, notes by Sílvio Ruiz and interviews by César Lang
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A SLIP, BUT QUALIFICATION IS VERY CLOSE

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/1954/kp1oo4.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Kura-Pelland attacking

The first game of the World Cup for Cafundéu, against Lovisa, ended in a convincing victory for the Monopolists, which motivated the supporters that made the short trip to Valanora and the others that are watching the games through Globo Multimedia. But the second game has a different story, and the end isn’t much pleasant for the Cafundelenses. The team did a good game, but failed to take advantage of the goal chances and suffered a goal in a counterattack, which left things difficult for the team. Luckily Cafundéu could get a draw, as the loss wasn’t so far away. The draw against Kura-Pelland frustrated many supporters, although others saw the result as a natural one.

The game was seen as the most important for the Monopolists in this group stage, as it could decide the qualification of the team for the second half, and it also could gauge the team’s performance. Before the game, there were many comments about how the team was going to stop Fiero, who was seen as the most dangerous player of Kura-Pelland, and who was the top goalscorer of the last edition of the Cafundelense league. Marossi, a team mate of Fiero in Ranca Toco, commented: “I think this will be the first time that I’ll hope to see Fiero not scoring!” The supporters were confident in a win, but very worried at the same time, as a loss would be really frustrating for them.

THE FIRST HALF: as Cafundéu showed good offensive power during the whole qualifiers, it was natural that Vargas prepared the team to be offensive, and this could be seen since the beginning of the game against Kura-Pelland. With fast and short passes, the team could reach the opponent area with speed, attacking with danger. Danilo Sampa had some good chances. In one of them, he dribbled the experienced defender Yuram-Wilson and shot to the goal, but Hodgson made a marvellous save. In another chance, Silveira passed to Marossi who, one on one with the keeper, shot to see another brilliant save of Hodgson. Cafundéu was attacking well, but Kura-Pelland’s keeper was playing even better.

But the game wasn’t only composed of Cafundelense attacks. Although the Monopolists seemed much more dominant in the game and had much clearer and impressive attacks than the opponents, Kura-Pelland had some chances too in the first half. In one play, the dangerous attacker Fiero invaded the area and shot. Júlio Sampa saved, and Luizão was fast enough to avoid his domestic club team mate from taking the rebound. Cafundéu continued attacking, as for example, when Augusto César shot from outside the area. Once again, Hodgson made a good save. In the 41st minute, a goal was finally scored. But it was for Kura-Pelland, with Oughton being the scorer. The first half ended, with the Cafundelenses disappointed.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Oughton’s goal): “Cafundéu attacks, attacks, attacks and is still unable to scorrrrrre! The Kurrrrra-Pelland supporrrrrrterrrrrrs arrrrre singing the name of Hodgson. Another counterrrrrrrattack, they arrrrrre dangerrrrrrous, Fierrrrro nearrrrrly scorrrrred in one. Ball goes to Phelps, long pass dirrrrrectly to Oughton, avoids Silveirrrrrrra, has some space, shoots... and it’s a goal. Goal for Kurrrrra-Pelland. Scorrrrred by Oughton, number seven! Now Kurrrrra-Pelland one, Cafundéu zerrrrro! Brrrrrroke something and needs to fix it? What about using a powerrrrrrful glue? The Cola-Tudo is the only one that glues everrrrrrything, rrrrrreally everrrrrything! You must trrrrrry it!”

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/2936/kp2jv0.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Marossi attacks in the first half

THE SECOND HALF: the supporters were undecided if Cafundéu needed changes for the second half. The team was playing well, but the opponent goalkeeper was brilliant. Anyway, Vargas didn’t do any substitutions, and the Kura-Pelland coach (disguised as someone else, probably, as we couldn’t identify him) changed one player who suffered a small injury. The second half started, with the Cafundelenses anxious to see if the team would score, and the Kura-Pelland supporters confident on the good performance of the team’s goalkeeper. After ten minutes, Cafundéu didn’t do much in the game, and Vargas decided to put Hubert in the game.

That substitution proved to be correct. When Danilo Sampa shot from outside the area and Hodgson saved, Hubert was in the right place at the right time to shot the rebound and score the goal. After the goal that put the game even, Cafundéu continued attacking, but without the same strength of the first half, having to face a more organized defence of Kura-Pelland. But the team still got much more goal chances, and some supporters even shouted “Goal!” when Fausto shot after a Da Silva crossing. Unfortunately, he was clearly offside. Minutes later, when the game was going to end, Wilder did a magnificent shot, but the ball hit the post. In the end, the draw was the fairest result.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Hubert’s goal): “Cafundéu contrrrrrols the ball in the midfield, Silveirrrrrra with it. Nice pass to Morrrrrreirrrrra, who now is playing in his naturrrrrral position, in the midfield. Good pass to Danilo Sampa, completely avoids the marrrrrking of Lupin. Danilo surrrrrprrrrises and shoots frrrrrrom outside... Hodgson with a save, but he can’t hold the ball, Huberrrrrrrt appearrrrrrs inside the arrrrrrea to shot the rrrrrrrebound... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Give me the rrrrreplay! Huberrrrrt, number eighteen! Now Cafundéu one, Kurrrrra-Pelland one! Come to shopping Esterrrrrrlina, the most luxurrrrrrious shopping of Lasft! Morrrrre than five hundrrrrrred storrrrrres!”

INTERVIEWS WITH CÉSAR LANG: the result wasn’t the best one for the Monopolists, of course, but it was far from being a disaster. A draw against Kura-Pelland can only be seen as a natural thing, as the coach Júlio Vargas said: “A good game, both teams played well. A draw was an expected result if we analyze well this game. Although we could be considered the favourites, they have a very good team. I’ll be surprised if anyone considers this a bad result, sincerely.” The attacker of the Cafundelense team, Danilo Sampa, agreed with his coach: “We did our best and we have many chances, but we failed to score more. In the end, I think that the draw was an acceptable result, as Kura-Pelland is surely our biggest opponent in this group... there is nothing wrong in failing to win this game, although there will be if we fail to win our next.”

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 3 (Hodgson saves Marossi’s shot): “Titov rrrrrecoverrrrrs the ball in the defence, starrrrts an attack passing the ball to Silveirrrrrra. The midfield walks with the ball, at the dirrrrrrection of the opponents’ arrrrrrea. Good drrrrribble over Marrrrrling, makes a pass to Marrrrrrossi... and what a pass! Marrrrrrossi has no defenders to beat, just the goalkeeper... will shoot... look at the goal, look at... HODGSON! He saved! The goal seemed guarrrrrranteed, Marrrrrossi was even prrrrrreparrrrrrring to commemorrrrrrate, but he made this mirrrrrracle! The game still goalless! Want to learrrrrrn a new language, maybe Vephrrrrrrese, Vanorrrrrrian or even the obscurrrrre language full of medical terrrrrrms frrrrrom the Landau Institute? You can study them in Global languages, a top languages school!”

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/9971/kp3nu9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Hodgson making one of his great saves

CAFUNDÉU 1x1 KURA-PELLAND

Place: Angelotic Temple, Longview.
Attendance: 71,125 people.
Time: 17:00 Cafundelense time.
Climate: clear, 20°C.
Referee: John Brarren (Bostopia).
Assistants: Nisan Vasiid (Yafor 2) and Meante Kaleharat (Yafor 2).
MOTM: Paul Hodgson (Kura-Pelland).

CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Alex, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Zé Sho (Rossi 71’), Da Silva, Augusto César and Marossi (Hubert 55’); Moreira and Danilo Sampa (Fausto 78’).
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

KURA-PELLAND: Hodgson; Phelps, Yuram-Wilson, Lupin and Iampietro; DaWealia (Cooper 74’), Oughton, Marling (Ogunde 74’) and Belling (Rothen 45’); Fiero and Wilder.
Coach: maybe that man wearing a suit... or the dwarf just at his side.

Goals:CAF: Hubert 62’.
KPL: Oughton 41’.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Goalscorers:

12- Danilo Sampa
7- Augusto César
5- Marossi
4- Moreira (1), Hubert (1)
3- Silveira
2- Titov, Rossi, Fausto, Alves (1)
1- Alex, Silvinho, Fabinho, Renildo
2 own goals

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: @ Krytenia 1-2 (@ Adanac)
MD1: vs (46) MSS 3-0 (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Jinhwangdo - 60,000)
MD2: @ (118) Dariusville 2-0
MD3: vs (159) Vlaskin 4-0 (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD4: @ (19) Demot 2-1 (@ Masteron Stadium, Santa Rosa - 78,000)
MD5: vs (31) Krytenia 3-3 (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju - 80,000)
MD6: @ (66) Greal 3-2 (@ Sasha Stadium - 120,000)
MD7: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant 6-1 (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MQ1: vs Taeshan 4-2 (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium, Daebo - 50,000)
MD8: @ (46) MSS 1-5
MD9: vs (118) Dariusville 4-0 (@ Oromokjei Football Stadium, Oromokjei - 25,000)
MD10: @ (159) Vlaskin 1-2
MD11: vs (19) Demot 1-1 (@ Waella Football Stadium, Hanseong - 43,000)
MD12: @ (31) Krytenia 1-0
MD13: vs (66) Greal 3-0 (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD14: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant 3-0

World Cup 43 - Group B
MD1: vs Wentland 0-1 (@ Artani)
MD2: vs Milchama 3-2 (@ White Fortress)
MD3: vs Septentrionia (@ Duran Palace)

The doctors came into the room. "We have some very good news," they said, also bringing in some charts and papers. "Min Seunghwa has recovered to the extent that the medical facility believes that home-based recovery will suffice. She will need to remain in casts for her arms, but what has been remarkable is that her core injuries have healed rather completely. We haven't seen this in anyone - well at least, I haven't. Her ribs have healed fine, and although she wouldn't want another blow to the chest again, she should be fine. I'd take care that she takes a good dose of calcium supplements in milk for the rest of her life - otherwise, osteoporosis might reverse these advances very quickly."

Hansu was delighted to hear the news. "Did you hear that?" he said.

"Yes, abeojji."

"We can go home again!"

"Of course," the doctor said, "We will need to make the final paperwork for your stay."

While Hansu made his way to fill out the paperwork, Seunghwa began plotting again. She knew exactly what she was going to do. She would walk up to the university and then she would ask them were Iljun had gone. If they didn't say, she'd ask for his home of record. One way or another, she would rescue Son from his gloomy pit of despair. He would find his way back into society, though disgraced by his involvement in the football riots in SNE.

"Seunghwa," Hansu said, having finished everything. "Let's go home."

The ride home was much easier than the ride to Gwangju. The trains were still packed full, but the wait was not very long - the tickets and the fares were easily finished with plenty of time to find a good seat in the passenger bay. Seunghwa had the most time to herself as she formalized her plans. Hansu, on the other hand, was busily preparing to come back home to greet his friends, to arrive at what should be a newly built house. Of course, for most of the 10-hour trip, they slept, so to say that they constructively spent that time might be a little false (unless sleep is a constructive thing; which it probably was).

They came home to the joyful arms of their friends. Unfortunately, the construction of the building was going slower, but the minimal fact remained - they still had a roof over their heads. And even though Seunghwa was still thinking about when she would go out to the university and inquire about Iljun, she couldn't avoid thinking that she felt at home here. Chan's geum, Hong's cautious and often ambiguous advice, Yu's brave straight-forwardism, and even the neighbors. While the construction continued, they lived under a little makeshift lodge, which was remarkably resilient, and even though most of them could not continue their jobs (Mu, for example, could not run a grocery without produce and items to sell), they were very content there.

"Baek Seonsaengnim was especially generous in his affairs here," Shin Yeongsuk said around the dinner table. "He's given us a lot of things that we couldn't afford on our own terms. And all with his winnings too! You know? He paid an entrance of 1,000,000 weon on the Han, Demot, and Krytenia advancing, and he got back 20 million weon! I'll tell you! These people are smart these days."

"Smart?" Hong said. "How is that sort of gambling smart? I mean, he was risking a lot of money to get it. I'm pretty certain that he was very lucky, because if things didn't go the way that he had anticipated, he might have lost 2 million weon!"

"Still, he won something," Shin replied. "It means something, doesn't it?"

"I'm not complaining," Chan then said. "I've always learned to do what works. If it doesn't work, don't try it. Baek has something that I wouldn't do in my lifetime, but he is Prefect, so he must be doing something that works for him."

"I say it's that butler," Yu remarked. "Without Pak, we wouldn't be here right now."

"True," Hong said. "Well, let's have a cheer to Mr. Pak! The Butler!"

Everyone grabbed their cups and toasted to the health of Pak Minsei. Taking the time to talk to her father, Seunghwa whispered to Hansu, "Can we talk in a little bit?"

"What is it, child?"

"I'm..."

Suddenly, the table fell silent. In an instant, the eyes of the conversation fell upon Seunghwa. She smiled hollowly at the others as she tried to continue talking. "I'm..."

"Seunghwa, just say it," Hansu implored her.

"I'm interested in going to school."

"School?" Hansu said, amidst shocks of awe. "Really?"

"Yes, abeojji."

"Which one?"

"I don't know, honestly," Seunghwa replied. "I was thinking that after a while, we could go looking around."

"Seunghwa!" Hansu cried with a great embrace. The others started to applaud. "I'm more than happy to help!" And even while Hansu was pondering how he could afford the cost of sending Seunghwa to school, Seunghwa was wondering if she should tell him the truth about why she wanted to go to school. But perhaps it would be better that it remained a secret.

"When do you want to go?" Hansu asked.

"Well... tomorrow?"

ESPN Journal of Sport
April 23rd, 1945

WORLD CUP Game 2 BOSTOPIA
by: Saul Werth

One old fashioned shoot-out in Palloner, Vephrall last night as Prux lost to Bostopia 5-3, in the highest scoring match in team history. Freddie Gronfeld opened the scoring up in the 9th minute, before back-to-back goals by Zombie Ronaldo (13th and 22nd) made it 2-1 Prux. Just before the half Bostopia's Lukas Plecnik tied it at 2-2 in the 43rd minute. In the second half, however, Bostopia's experience showed as they scored three times on goals from Ian Porter (67th), Lother Jaeger (72nd), and Lyle Northbrook (89th). The Zombies did take a 3-2 lead early in the 2nd half on a goal from Zombie Pelé, but it wasn't enough.

Next is The Holy Empire, who have stated they will be bring holywater and sacred grass to the match. A win could see the Zombies into the next round, but a -5 GD is tough to overcome.

PRUX' WC Schedule:
MD1: #16 Vephrall @ Fonong-Pelle (Lost 1-4)
MD2: #2 Bostopia @ Palloner (Lost 3-5)
MD3: #19 The Holy Empire @ Palloner

Valanora Times
Royal Treatment

Little is known about the monarch for which Duran Palace in Valanari is named, apart from that he was of some importance to the locals while we were still in a city state mind, before the ESA was signed. What we do know about Samir Duran is that he was an elf who commanded absolute obedience, and liked luxuries in excess. If such descriptions are true, then he would have most likely been having a grand time in Valanari yesterday as the Marauders and Big Blues reacquainted themselves on the football pitch. Just five weeks prior to the fixture, the two had a historic meeting in Zapata, in which the Marauders showed their depth and class by defeating a near full strength C&M side with a mixed side of their own by a score of three to nil. Most assumed that because it was merely a friendly with no implication on rank or seeding, that the Blues really didn't give it their all out on the pitch, not helped in the least by a dodgy red by a Nethertopia referee who seems to have been mysteriously wiped from the country's records, and were content on merely playing hosts to the current champions of the World Cup.

Here in Valanora things would certainly be different as advancement to the next round was up for grabs, or the mere survival of that hope. Everything was here to play for, the pride of a nation, the chance to settle some political agendas, the hope that advancement could be achieved or still within a realistic hope, and for the honor of merely representing your nation. A packed house in the smallest of the venues picked out for the World Cup by the VFA was more than ready to provide a very lively atmosphere. Somehow the fan group known as the Navy Wave was able to get their hands on over 30,000 tickets, and basically took over the entire west half of the stadium. An hour before the match had even began, there were chants and songs coming from that end loud enough that it registered on the local earthquake monitoring station. All that was needed was the teams to take to the pitch, and this stadium would be set to explode in the excitement and thrill of another World Cup match.

As the players walked onto the pitch, there seemed to be a tear coming from captain Laborious Hawk as he lead the side out. The large elf has been known to use his frame to beat up on opposition as well as having a somewhat philosophical side, but never before had the brilliance and fortitude that is Laborious Hawk ever been seen to shed tears. As the national anthems of each nation played, the camera very clearly showed that the captain was indeed having a small cry before the match. When asked about the incident following the match, Hawk had this to say, "I was just simply taken aback by the support and dedication of the fans here today. I am used to playing in the rough and gritty spots over in Cafundeu where things can get a little out of hand if the security is not up to the challenge. Soo used to that, and then the crazy island atmosphere of the Hatire Memorial when we play there, it was something else to see those fans singing and wearing our colors as if what we did on that pitch determined some significant thing in their lives. It's just a feeling that you can not adequately put into words and it still have the same meaning and effect."

Whatever emotional experience that the captain had before kick off was quickly replaced by his usual tough and determined play once the whistle blew, and the stadium went nuts. It was back and forth with the ebb and flow of something that you would expect to see in an ice hockey match, not a football fixture. Crisp passes and tenacious defending kept the crowd on it's heels for the first quarter hour of the game, as each side looked like had come into this match prepared to put everything out on the line in hopes of snatching the three points. It's in the big matches like these that your captain has to be at their absolute best and leading by example. It would be quite the understatement of the year to say that Hawk did that, as he once again showed why some consider him and not Kiso the best Vanorian to every have set foot on a football pitch.

As only Laborious Hawk can, the Petardos S/A midfielder took over the game in it's entirety. Perhaps through whatever inspiration that the fans had given him as the sides had made their way onto the pitch, there seemed to be a renewed dominance for the midfielder. Having the guts to do so, he let loose a shot from a ridiculous forty-five yards out that flew through the air as if it had been shot out of a rocket launcher. It is is one thing to have the gall to try a shot from that range, but with such pace and accuracy, the keeper is usually in an easy spot to make a routine save. Not this time, not on this day when a fire burned deep in the heart of an elf who had always had to earn everything that had ever been given to him, and the side was one up at the sixteenth.

After the friendly in Zapata, the Big Blues should have learned that conceding a free kick anywhere near the box against the Marauders is just asking to be scored upon. It was an easy call for Phootid Nastadgus to make as Razov was clipped from behind as he turned to make his move towards the box. Hawk, va Drake, and Soldarian all stood over the ball waiting on the whistle from the ref to take the kick. With the whistle, Soldarian rolled the ball in front of Hawk who once again put his laser guided rocket launching foot into action as he nearly took off Williams' head and beat the diving Sbaïz to double the lead. Oh but another goal was to be coming quite swiftly against the shell shocked Blues, as va Drake was simply gifted a chance as Dixon's clearing attempt went off the side of his foot and left va Drake all alone in front of Sbaïz. Being somewhat cheeky, the winger went five hole on the keeper, and made it three to nil with barely half an hour into the match. The crowd were simply beside themselves in ecstasy, and the Navy Wave made sure that the poor few thousand supporters from the Rushmore isles were put into even more misery with their songs.

The excellence of the first half could not be possibly duplicated, but it was and in shining moment of absolute dominance, it was a 4 on 1 for the Marauders as the Blues had tried a risky attack that now left them quite exposed. Razov dropped it to Soldarian, who then moved it out wide to Morose. Morose then brought in back across to Razov, who finally sidestepped the poor man Kelly, and put a good shot in, but Sbaïz was there for a fine punch out. It was not enough though, as Hawk came pressing down on the box and sent a powerful header past the keeper for his hat trick, and securing the win and passage into the knockout stage. Soler would add one a few minutes later, and Razov was twice denied in the 80th minute by the woodwork to keep the score line somewhat respectable for their guests. In the end, it was clear who the best side in the world was, and who was still trying just to get a good result here and there in the proper. Thoroughly beaten and eliminated from progressing, the Big Blues understandably had their heads hanging low as the left the pitch, while singing from the west end would continue on through the night, much to the chagrin of the street cleaners this morning. For their troubles, the Marauders can now be carefree in Friday's match against Tynelia, and start preparing for how they want to play come the next round. It was a historic night indeed, but for all different reasons than expected.

Valanora 5
Laborious Hawk (17, 24, 55)
Espy va Drake (30)
Calla Soler (62)

Candelaria And Marquez 0

Article by Jurin Underwind

D'Abbo marks return from injury with key goals

Ad’ihan's star striker Julian D'Abbo, at 36, is nearing the end of his international career. While he has said he does not want to quit the national team before winning a World Cup — he's still very much a mainstay when he's fit — he may be forced out by his own health.

During a World Cup qualifier against Miroxia during the first half of qualifying, D'Abbo tore knee ligaments in his right leg, requiring surgery and ruling him out for the rest of the qualifiers. Indeed, immediately after sustaining the injury, D'Abbo told the press he expected this cup would now be his last due to the surgery he would need.

With the team leading Group G heading into the final day of group stage matches, the path through to the second round is almost secure — but not quite yet. And Julian D'Abbo, back from injury fresh for the World Cup proper, has helped with two goals in the first two group games, including the only goal — a fantastic dipping shot from 20 yards — against the world number four Archregimancy.

Ad’ihan face Dancougar in their final group match at Fonong-Pelle in Solonds, Vephrall, knowing that as long as they avoid a loss, they will make it through to the second round — a feat they failed to accomplish in World Cup 42 despite winning two of their group games, and it is this possible scenario that has manager Devida Cal worried.

"For sure it is something we have to consider, but our first priority is to go out there and win the match, if we do that we know we have no problems," he told a press conference ahead of the Dancougar match. Should the team avoid defeat, they will face a team from Group H, which is in the same spot as Group G: a team on six points and two teams on three, with neither of the two spots yet guaranteed.

All three teams Ad’ihan could face have a history with Ad’ihan. Ad’ihan have played Bostopia twice in their history, losing both times 1-0 in friendly matches. Ad’ihan have played co-hosts Vephrall just once, but it was in the second round of World Cup 41 on home soil at Protectorate Stadium, where Vephrall knocked Ad’ihan out of penalties. Ad’ihan have played The Holy Empire as recently as in the World Cup 42 group stage, when they won 4-2 but still lost out to the Dreamed Realm nation in the tiebreaker to decide the group's two qualifiers. The two teams also played during Oxen Cup 4, when Ad’ihan lost 1-0 in a playout, and again during World Cup 38 in Kura-Pelland, when they lost 4-1.

“…orst humanitarian disaster in the region for more than three decades… Well, all that coming up, but first to football and Kris Healy has descr–”

*CLICK*

“–kay, Cindy?”

“Four!”

“Boooooooo!!”

“Ron?”

“Sev-AAARN!”

“Wi–”

*CLICK*

“–k, I’m just saying that on that form, the Eesseff would have beaten anyone in the world at least three-nil. Yes, we added to our own downfall – va Drake’s goal, for example, Dixon should’ve done so much better with his clearance, but if you’re honestly telling me that Jeruselem or Bostopia or Cafundéu or Demot or whoever, would have so much as held them yesterday, I’ve got to say, you’re kidding yourself.”

“Look, I don’t disagree, I don’t. But you have to admit, tactically we had nothing to offer, y’know… There was simply no way, as soon as the first whistle was blown, that we ever looked even remotely likely to challenge them. Is that really good enough? Forget the scoreline, but we barely got a shot on targ–”

*CLICK*

“–ould we blame the CAMAFA!?”

“Or blame the major clubs’ investment in youth development!?”

“Or should we blame the foreign stars upon which they have leant!?”

“No, blame Nethertopia!”

“Blame Nethertopia!”

“With all their field hockey hullabaloo!”

“And that bastard Wendell, too!”

“Blame Nethertopia!

“Shame on Neth–”

*CLICK*

“–eo fuertemente que tenemos que ahora mirar al futuro! Deje Healy ir, tráigalo en Javier Sanchez, ponga Jamie González detrás en el equipo ahora que él es que va a Cafundéu, y nosotros debemos tener Andrés Quirot, Joe Rodríguez, Sebastián Ferreira y Enrique en defe–”

*CLICK*

“…azov past Kelly… it’s like he’s not even there… shoots… the punch…! And just when you think it’s safe… boom, there you go, and that’s the hat-trick. Four-nil.”

“There’s something oddly compelling about it all again, isn’t there?”

“It’s like when your brother burnt your favourite toys, and you cried, but at the same time you couldn’t take your sodden eyes away from the flickering flames as they engulfed your meagre possessions, John.”

“I… Yes. Um. Do you want a hug, o–”

*CLICK*

“–ans to drop Sbaïz for the final group game against Az-cz, in favour of Felix Currey. But Healy has been quick to underline the importance of this fixture, with the Az-czzers still looking to make the knock-out stages – and given added cause for effort by their nation’s increasing slide towards political anarchy, as well as the long-standing diplomatic quarrel between the two countries. Equally, Healy stressed, picking up three points could prove the difference, in the long term, between being a pot two or pot four team in Krytenia and Mnmh-mn-mnhm-mn.”

“That’s right Claudia, and let’s also not forget the thousands of Candelariasians specially selected to travel out to this game. This time around, the majority of fans have been hand-picked by the Candelarias Foundation for the Blind, the Candelarias Blind Sports Federation, and the National Academic Service for the Blind and Physically Handicapped, and they’ll be looking forward to seeing C&… Not seeing, obviously, that’s kind of the whole…”

“Yeah, alright, don’t labour the point, Greg.”

“Sorry, yes… I expect they have… commentary, or someth– Y’know, why are they even there in the first place? I wanted to visit the Eesseff, I wanted to watch us take on Az-cz, but nooo–”

*CLICK*

“Who would’ve thought it, eh? Miles from home, and you can still get Candelariasian telly.”

She’d been half expecting it, but Sukie still jumped at the sharp new voice behind her, her torch clattering to floor and booming around the cavern. She turned around slowly, and could make out Jenny Harris’ flushed face by the light of a hundred LEDs, and the revolver in the Minister’s hand.

“Tad paranoid, isn’t that, Jen?”

“I can’t be too careful, can I? I barely know anything about you, barring the correct pronunciation of your surname and the fact you seem to know more about my Ministry that I do…”

“Hernández told me things. You know that…”

“Be that as it may –”

“What does that actually mean?”

Jenny threw up her free hand in frustration. “What I want to know, Ms. Rohaert, if that is your real name…”

“Yes, because I’d make that up…”

“…is why you thought it acceptable to vanish from my side while I was schmoozing a group of gnomes who seemed unduly eager to get to know their Candelariasian counterparts, cadge a lift to an isolated location miles west of Longview, and sneak your way into an abandoned underground lair? Without telling me.”

“Mm, sorry about that…”

“I was hurt, frankly. This seems like much more fun that fifth-wheeling it over in Raynor City.”

“It really isn’t,” Sukie sighed. “Hence me resorting to watching the TV…”

The minister slipped her weapon back into the recesses of her suit and took a good look around for the first time. Where the desks and screens were highlighted by the little lights, she could make out surfaces covered in dust, and even a vine threading its way down one wall. It didn’t feel as though anyone had left this place in a hurry, more that it had simply been abandoned to the elements… such as there were, half a mile underground. And up in one corner, a little plaque displayed two green circles and an oval.

“Was this place ours?”

“Still is, as far as I know,” Sukie shrugged. “It was the base of operations for the M.O.R.T. in Valanora during the last World Cup here. And long before that, too, apparently.”

“We even have a base here?”

“Why wouldn’t w… you? You can bet the Vanorians have watching posts of one kind or another in C&M, given everything. Some the M.O.R.T. may not even be aware of, at that… Looks like we’ve left this place, though. I had to move a few heavy stones and stuff just to get in.”

“Yeah, I saw. Err… Not that I’m not genuinely fascinated by yet another thing I didn’t know about my own ministry, but… Why are you here, Sukie…?”

“I… I thought… Oh, this is going to sound so… I thought… he might be here.”

“Eh?”

“Lyndon…”

“Dead Lyndon Hernández?”

“Supposedly dead Lyndon Hernández.”

“Supposedly dead Lyndon Hernández whose body they found in a splattered hea… Sorry, that’s…”

“The sort of thing I’d say, aye. And I know. But… They made me lie about Mark Baker’s body, y’know? Said that I’d declared that they corpse they found was his, even thought I knew perfectly well where he was being held. Made sure I got a raise and a plum government job, an’ all.”

“It was on your M.O.R.T. records, yes… What, you think he faked his own death?”

“No! Well… He always told me, y’see, if things got a little… hot, back home, he’d hide out here. There were chambers only he had the access codes to, and I just… Look, I’m human! Not that it’d be a bad thing if I wasn’t,” she added hurriedly, “I just had to make sure…”

The minister smiled as sympathetically as she could muster, kindly stopping short of giving her strange new friend what would no doubt have been an unwelcome squeeze. “Perhaps it’d be best if we kept this place to ourselves, just in case… Sukie, sorry, but… What exactly did you mean, if things got ‘hot’? From what I knew of Hernández, he was the model minister. Ruled the M.O.R.T. with an iron fist, an’ all that…”

“It’s like you said the other day, Jen. The Ministry’s huge, full of agendas and cliques. He held it all together as best he knew – so did Melbourne, frankly, and so will you in time – but he always knew that there was shit, and a fan, and sooner or later the whole country’d know about it. I’m just…” She smiled with forced joviality. “It’s just a shame he won’t be around to enjoy it…”

Jenny, who had been brought up in a country keen on energy conservation, instinctively flicked the switch by the door as she followed her out of the forlorn cave, a few more lights flickering out of life as they did so. The sound of the lift wobbling them back to the surface had long rattled its goodbye when, slowly but purposefully, they switched themselves back on again.

(OOC: Microphone volume was higher, so I don't think speakers will have to be up so high. Plus I got a bit shouty when I got into the commentating sort of role, so beware.)

Radio Broadcast (http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/radio2.wma)

And with the national anthems over, it's time to get on with the game! As we see the players shaking hands with the opposition, the referee, the linesmen, random dignitaries and are presented with a souvenir raffle ticket each, I'll take this time to apologise profusely to all of you at home who had to listen to me slurping tea for the whole match, and totally missing everything.

If it makes you feel better, the tea was awful, and I prefer a coffee. Either an eleven strong from the free vending machine just outside my office (white, extra sugar) or if I make it the old fashioned way, two spoonfuls of coffee and two and a half of sugar.

Right, with all that over, and – OH! A tasteful shot of a Lion! How cute! Anyway, the teams are about to kick off, so let's go.

---9th Minute---

And in the 9th minute, we've another shot of a girl with a massive- Excuse me while I interrupt myself, but Bostopia are on the attack down the right with Redmond making an overlapping run from right back, and he receives the ball from Griff. Redmond charging now toward the penalty area, lifts the ball in toward the run of GRONFELD! GOAL! FREDDIE GRONFELD HEADS IT INTO THE BOTTOM RIGHT-HAND CORNER, COMPLETELY CONFUDDLING THE KEEPER! OHH YES! And what a celebration! Just what a celebration! Where those fireworks came from though I don't want to know.

Prux to kickoff, which they do, and it's back to the shot of the girl with the massive IQ, or at least that's what her t-shirt says. Bit big-headed, but suppose it's the done thing somewhere.

---13th Minute---

It's a thirteenth minute goal. For Prux. They've equalised, and I've been temporarily blinded by a pigeon so can't tell you what happened. Shame, that.

---22nd Minute---

Do you know what, in the twenty second minute, is more embarrassing than being watched all match by Basil and Theo while slurping tea? Going two – one down to Prux, which we just have. *sigh*

---43rd Minute---

Into the 43rd minute and Newkey collects the ball in his own area, feeds a pass forward to Sadler who's just inside his own half. He runs forward with the ball, and floats it out left to Kanper, who cuts inside, dinks the ball into the box for PLECNIK! IT'S PLECNIK WHO'S VOLLEYED THE BALL INTO THE BACK OF THE NET AND EQUALISES FOR BOSTOPIA! TWO ALL!

---Half Time---

And there's the half time whistle, the score is Bostopia 2 – 2 Prux.

---54th Minute---

And in the fifty-fourth minute, it's trouble for Bostopia! For goodness sake, don't stand there like lemon merangues! Move! Work! NO! NO, DON'T DO THAT! Oh for love of pistachios, Prux have taken the lead again, we trail by three goals to two.

---67th Minute---

A clumsy sixty seventh minute back pass from the Prux defence could be snatched upon here by Porter, he jinks the ball over the keeper and GOAAAAAAL! HE PASSES IT INTO THE NET, AN ENLIGHTENED SUBSTITUTION BY PARTLAND! All he had to do was knock the ball over the advancing keeper, who went down to the floor to collect it much too early and tap it in! That goal means it's Bostopia 3 – 3 Prux.

---72nd Minute---

Throw in to Bostopia on the right here in the seventy second minute to be taken by Griff. He throws it toward the penalty area, where the ball is met by Plecnik on his chest, who kicks it over his head for JAEGER! YES! FOUR – THREE, BOSTOPIA! A MAGNIFICENT HEADED GOAL THAT FINALLY HANDS BOSTOPIA THE LEAD FOR THE SECOND TIME IN THE GAME!

---89th Minute---

And Bostopia attack again at 4 – 3 in the eighty ninth minute, trying to truly put the game to bed now! This attack coming down the middle, the captain Loewe charging at the Prux defence who are backing off a little – Loewe shoots! Deflected off a Prux defender and into the path of NORTHBROOK! AND HE SCORES! HAVE SOME OF THAT! TOP-RIGHT CORNER OF THE NET, A PURE BELTER OF A SHOT! IT'S A ROUT! IT FELT SO WRONG, IT FELT SO RIGHT, DON'T MEAN I'M IN LOVE TONIGHT! GET IN!

---Final Whistle---

That's it, the referee blows for full time! Bostopia the victors here with a five – three win over Prux that keeps them top of Group H, but they haven't qualified yet, as Vephrall lost to The Holy Empire. Tonight's raffle was ticket number 29, held by the referee, who receives a bulb signed by myself from a floodlight in the Bostopia Arena. Well, we've saw Bostopia move to 6 points gained from 6 points available, with Vephrall and The Holy Empire on 3 points each. Prux are out. I'm not sure whether to feel guilty or not, so while I ponder that, I'll hand you back to the studio. Goodnight!

Dancougar News!!
It never feels as cold outside when there's snow.

Noh'arms beaten again: Dancougar has set up the usual do-or-die final matchday after a 3-0 victory against Yafalonia and Bazor 2 which now gives them an outside shot at qualification.

Two goals early in the second half sealed the deal for the Wings, who have won at least one game in all four World Cup appearances. It came as a relief after a tense first half that saw both teams conjure several scoring chances. Ad'ihan upset the Archregimancy 1-0 in the other match, giving them an inside track at qualification.

"Everyone knows what's at stake at this point, and we've been in this situation before," said Solomon Bilbao. "It's very clear what needs to be done in this last game, and we will certainly have to be more prepared than we were in the opening match."

The Black Wings needed to make it three for three in their history with Yafalonia and Bazor 2, which began in Baptism of Fire 26. They got the first scoring chance of the game in the 5th minute, when Dan Potts sent a screamer over the bar. Kevin Underwood masterminded another Potts chance in the 11th that resulted in a kick save from Graham Noh'arms, the famed armless goalkeeper. The team from FAIL responded in the 20th when Miso Kite, the undisputed greatest striker who ever lived, one-timed a short pass at Yuji Watanabe, who reflexively punched it over the bar.

The opening goal came minutes later off a corner kick. Benjamin Whittaker pressed down the left side and eventually had a cross deflected out. He lined one up for the head of Shishio Jinguuji, who outjumped the towering Umar Ventrarar and nodded it over Noh'arms, who was unable to reach it. It dropped over his head and in for the 1-0 lead. In the 31st, Yafalonia and Bazor 2 almost equalized when Kite once again found space near the top of the box after shaking Milan van der Horst with a wicked cutback. He aimed his effort at the bottom corner, but Watanabe was there to close down the space.

The game started to swing wildly back and forth, as both midfields opened up and a flurry of chances followed. Lyle Dylandy almost struck for the Wings, sending a cross into the box that Noh'arms watched hit the turf and bounce over the outstretched foot of Underwood and harmless out of play. Just before halftime, Rachael Kneal thumped one into the net after being played through by Daris Caollan, and she was about to whip off her top in celebration when she noticed the lineman's flag. Replays showed that Casey Berber had stepped up and caught her offside. The teams went into the locker room with Dancougar still clinging to their 1-0 lead.

Potts gave the Wings some insurance three minutes off the restart, as he swept past the flat-footed Ventrarar and beat Noh'arms, who was poorly positioned at the center of the goal and had no way to reach the sides. Potts placed it just inside the post to Noh'arms' left, and it was 2-0. This was the signal for Yafalonia and Bazor 2 to turn up the pressure, as they were now playing for their World Cup lives. Kite had a chance denied in the 53rd, as Yuji Watanabe continued to redeem himself after the disastrous opening match of the finals. Underwood started to drift back and make it 4-4-2 to make attacking more difficult.

The Wings got the third goal in the 65th, again off a set piece. This time it was a Lyle Dylandy free kick from thirty yards away which found the head of Jinguuji. This time, Noh'arms was able to parry it with a sliding kick save, but he deflected the ball right at Anthony Ingram, who tapped it home for just his second career international goal. The game seemed well in hand at 3-0. Yafalonia and Bazor 2 began playing more direct attacks, with long balls getting launched from Caollan and Raethar Vanlaez. Miso Kite was singled out for special attention from both Berber and van der Horst, who paired up to mark him closely. This did lead to several free kick opportunities down the stretch, though.

Yafalonia and Bazor 2 had two quality chances in the final ten minutes to bridge the gap, but Kneal shot wide of the goal in the first and Watanabe saved from Caollan in the second.

Matchday three preview: v Ad'ihan (2-0-0): Hmm, so let me get this straight. We're tied with the Archregimancy and have to play the group leaders... and we can still qualify without help?

There's a lot of trickiness with tiebreakers and such involved, but we'll try to make this nice and simple. If the Wings lose, they would require a Yafalonia and Bazor 2 victory over the Archregimancy to create a three-way tie at the bottom of Group G. All the head-to-head tiebreakers would cancel, and it would go down to goal differential. We don't like our chances over the WCC president.

Now, we could qualify with a draw, but that also requires a Yafalonia and Bazor 2 victory. Stranger things have happened, but we'd rather not bank on it. So it comes down to beating Ad'ihan. If we do that, then the Archregimancy must also win or else both Dancougar and Ad'ihan are just though, no questions asked. And that would be pretty sweet, because then we'd also win the group on head-to-head. But what if Dancougar and the Archregimancy both win? Hoo boy.

All three of us would be tied atop Group G on six points, and the head-to-head results would all cancel. So it goes down to goal differential. Here's the interesting part. Ad'ihan are at +2 and Dancougar are at 0. A Dancougar win can do no worse than tie them again at +1, at which point it goes to... what, goals scored? I think so. Since Dancougar and Ad'ihan are both tied at 4 now, a Dancougar victory by one goal delivers qualification on the third tiebreaker at the expense of Ad'ihan, since the Archregimancy would improve to at least +3 with a win and qualify on the goal differential tiebreaker.

Of course, Ad'ihan can just qualify with a draw. And on their current form, Dancougar will be hard pressed to get any result despite their desperate need of points. In both of the last two World Cups, Dancougar has needed a win on the final day, and both times they flamed out...

THE EPISTLES OF POLYCARP


Polycarp's Second Letter to Ad'ihan

To the Glorious Victors: Greetings

You may well think that we feel just a teensy bit bitter over a loss that stopped us from reaching the second round with a match to spare.

Not at all! We're so thrilled for D'Abbo! After all, we're firm believers in resurrection over here at the Monastic Football Association, so seeing Julian come back from a terrible knee ligament injury at the age of 36 to score against us with such an exquisite dipping 20 yard shot - well, it's almost Lazarus-like, isn't it?

In fact, I can almost see new coach Devida Cal standing in front of your medical staff as they proclaim their doubt in their ability to get D'Abbo fit in time for the tournament proper, and proclaiming "he that believeth in me, though his ligaments be torn, yet shall he play: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall score a pearler against the Archregimancy."

That was a scriptural reference, incidentally, just in case it passed you by.

Perhaps that all sounds a bit fanciful, but ever since we discovered that there's actually an Orthodox church in your fine nation, we can live in hope.

Yafalonia and Bazor 2 next; surely the Lord - unknowable though his ways may be - can't expect us to suffer so much as to muck that one up.

Yours in Christ

Fr. Polycarp the Venerable
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee

THE CHARGE OF THE IMPERIAL SQUAD

Alfredo, Lord Tennysones

1.
A hundred metres, hundred metres,
hundred metres onward,
All in the stadium of Vephrall
Played our eleven.
"Forward, the Imperials!
"Charge for the goal!" he said:
In the stadium of Vephrall
Played our eleven.


2.
"Forward, the Imperials!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the players knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to play and die:
In the stadium of Vephrall
Played our eleven.


3.
Vephrallis to right of them,
Vephrallis to left of them,
Vephrallis in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shots they tell
Boldly they played and well,
Into the home crowd's jaws,
Into the mouth of Hell
Played our eleven.


4.
Stunned as brave Urkes fair,
Twisted and turn'd in air,
Scoring two goals right there,
Chargine against the hosts, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the fireworks' smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Opponents and home crowd then
Reel'd from branve Urkes' stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, oh yes,
Our fine eleven.


5.
Vephrallis to right of them,
Vephrallis to left of them,
Vephrallis behind them
Storm'd at with shots they tell
Boldly they played and well,
Out of the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
Played our Eleven.


6.
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Imperial squad,
Noble eleven.

The pais-de-santo Pai Adoniran and Pai Jacinto are this time in the house of Pai Adoniran, as the television of Pai Jacinto broke the day before. They are waiting for the start of their favourite soap opera, "The Yaforite", which is reaching its final episodes. So, while waiting for the program, they talk about some popular issues.

PAI ADONIRAN - "So, Jacinto, what happened with your television?"

PAI JACINTO - "I don't know. It was sudden... I was watching the Terreiro de Ogum football game, the last one against Capitalizt SLANI, when the image disappeared, and smoke started to come out from the television."

PAI ADONIRAN - "That seems serious, Jacinto."

PAI JACINTO - "Probably is. I'll ask Jerônimo to fix that for me, maybe he can do it in exchange of one of two rituals, he is a loyal believer of the Orixás, has a lot of faith."

PAI ADONIRAN - "That's good, we really need this kind of people in our country... and in the world."

PAI JACINTO - "By the way, do you know the result of that game?"

PAI ADONIRAN - "Wait... you don't?"

PAI JACINTO - "No."

PAI ADONIRAN - "So you don't know that our players surprised the whole world? We drew with Capitalizt SLANI, the results was one to one. It was a really impressive games, I could even feel that the Orixás were playing together with our players, giving them their divine energy, the spiritual strength for them to succeed."

PAI JACINTO - "Really good news! What a wonderful result! So, can we qualify?"

PAI ADONIRAN - "Of course we can. We just need a good result against Jeruselem."

PAI JACINTO - "And is this possible?"

PAI ADONIRAN - "Only the Orixás know, my friend... wait, the soap opera is about to start!"

PAI JACINTO - "Oh, this is such an important episode.

Sound of the TV:

DRUG DEALER - "How could I be arrested? I am the biggest criminal of that favela... how can I live without my samba? I have to leave this place!"

Noise of footsteps.

HAN INVESTIGATOR - "Quiet. I've come to release you, so you can take Idurv Odakale to me. I suspect he is linked with the Mujeongbu, and they are surely much more dangerous than you. So, if you help me to get this criminal, you can be free."

DRUG DEALER - "Shut up then and release me! I want to teach Odakale a lesson more than anyone else!"

The pais-de-santo start to comment:

PAI ADONIRAN - "That's it! This Daehanjeiguk is the biggest villain of this soap opera, Odakale has nothing to do with the Mujeongbu, and he knows that! He just wants to take the Yaforite because he thinks Odakale has gold hidden in his house. But we know that this gold was found by the bakery owner, who became rich and decided to open bakeries all around Cafundéu!"

PAI JACINTO - "Yes, and now he'll release the drug dealer... he is a real villain. And now Odakale is really in trouble, he needs to flee as soon as possible, because those two won't rest until they get Idurv."

PAI ADONIRAN - "These are the final episodes... I'm anxious to see what will happen... by the way, do you know that Odakale finally discovered that the beggar kid is his son?"

PAI JACINTO - "Really? How touching! And do you know that the parents of that rich girl finally let her date with that guy from the favela?"

PAI ADONIRAN - "I knew that it would happen... but I could never expect that shoe cleaner would become a football player, playing in Petardos S/A!"

PAI JACINTO - "They did it because Globo Multimedia sponsors Petardos. What about the corrupt politician? The people finally discovered his crimes and threw tomatoes at him during a speech!"

PAI ADONIRAN - "I saw that! Let's continue watching the soap opera!"

TV again:

IDURV'S GIRLFRIEND - "To where we can leave? They'll search us everywhere?"

ODAKALE - "I need to go somewhere, but I can't stay here, it isn't safe. Your former boyfriend has escaped from prison, and there is also that crazy Han investigator... I was shot once, I don't want that to happen again!"

IDURV'S GIRLFRIEND - "I'll protect you! He isn't my boyfriend anymore, I can help you!"

ODAKALE - "This is out of your control. He really hates me, and wants to see me dead. I'll have to leave this city, this state, maybe even the country. Will you come with me?"

IDURV'S GIRLFRIEND - "I'd go anywhere for you."

ODAKALE - "That's good to hear. Now, I'll just get my son and we'll get the first train or bus available to another city, my love."

The two pais-de-santo return to comment:

PAI JACINTO - "Yes, Idurv, escape!"

PAI ADONIRAN - "You can't let those two get you!"

The episode continues, many things happen, but it ends in a surprising way. The drug dealer, after being advised by the Han investigator that the beggar kid is son of Odakale, decides to kidnapp him. Now, with the son of his enemy at his hands, he sends a message to Odakale, a message for a final meeting in a desert park.

PAI JACINTO - "It is over. Just in the best part!"

PAI ADONIRAN - "How evil is that drug dealer! To use a kid!"

PAI JACINTO - "What will happen tomorrow?"

PAI ADONIRAN - "I don't know, but it'll surely be exciting."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, in Valanora:

TROMBADA - "Finally I could invade another stadium, man, and those stupid security guards couldn't see me... let's see which is the game, man."

TROMBADA - "A bunch of strange people in white, man, this must be Terreiro de Ogum, man. They're playing... Capitalizt SLANI, man? They are surely losing then, man."

TROMBADA - "What? A one to one draw, man? That's ridiculous, man, surely that Capitalizt SLANI coach doesn't know how to do his job properly, man. They are playing really badly, man, they are surely in need of a good coach, man, one that knows how to motivate the players, man, how to put pressure over the referees, man, someone like... me, man!"

TROMBADA - "I'll have to send a letter for the ones behind the SLANI football association, man. I'll write the same one that I wrote for Rennidan, man. They have to hire me, I am perfect coach, man. I'll give them the instructions to contact me, man, and after this, I'll have a job, man, and as a football coach!"

TROMBADA - "Wait, these are guards, man? And they are looking at me, man? I have to leave now... wait, they are getting closer, man, I can't allow this! - (fires at them with his gun, misses all the shots as ever) - Man, they're lucky, I missed! Let's make a strategic retreat for now, man, but I'll return, that's for sure, man!"

MD3+ Vephrall Region (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14220983&postcount=23)

RPs for the Valanora Region will continue to count until scorination at 1:00 UTC.

I am slightly offended.

And, if you can't tell, I don't like being offended.

Some berk. Some gertrude. Some bell-hopping bunnyboy has tried to take my job. Trombada? Who the hell does this jerk think he is? I'm Ryan Goddamned Malkoa. I'm still the manager of the Eagles, and I'm going to bloody well make sure it stays that way. I'm a bloody millionaire now, I can ruddy well afford to make problems like Mister Bloody Trombada disappear.

I have been at the helm of this team since it's conception. I was the team captain, I was the national hero. My face is known by all within the walls of Rennidan, and my position atop it's international team is permanent, I assure you, Mister Bloody Trombada, the man who thinks he can just waltz right in here from his foreign nation and take my bloody job.

Well, Mister Bloody Trombada, let me make you a deal.

You shut the hell up. You leave me alone. I keep my job, and you keep your life.

Sound good?

And don't think I won't send any flak your way, good sir. Oh, no no no no no, of course I won't. I am, after all, a man beyond the edge. I'm broken in my head as well as in my soul, and I am perhaps the worst figure you could have picked to try and dethrone. I have money, I have anger and I have angst, yet, best of all, I have nothing to lose. All the tools I need to take you down are at my disposal, and if you even dare to think twice about backing down, I will end you.

Permanently.

Full stop.

Game over.

So, Mister Trombada. Back off now.

Please.

I have a match plan to go write up.

_________

Jeruselem Government News

Ryan's nightmare day ...

Ryan Greenly of Qazox had a bad day today. His brave Jeru FC team went down fighting 0-1 to Demot. They played well but could not beat the better Demot who won with the only goal of the game. To make things worse, Jeru FC had to watch the Purple Menace beat Bazalonia 1-0 putting both teams the same points. Jeru FC was forced into a playoff with Purple Menace and lost 1-3.

Ryan praised his team
"They put in 150% today but Demot and Starblaydia were far too good for us. Our team worked hard but just failed. the team are disappointed, they wanted to make history but failed to so. I said to my team, despite this - I'm proud of their efforts. They tried, that's what counts. They wanted to be like Jeruselem but they know there's no Princess Marie or Kate Sallad to save them."

Things got worse for Ryan with his home team Qazox losing to Yafor 2. Qazox lost 0-2 and will not be in the 2nd round. The winner from this was Merginn's SN who drew with Krytenia 3 ALL and progressed to the 2nd round.

A tearful Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas, a true Jeru FC girl said
"Poor Jeru FC, they worked really hard. Poor Qazox. I want to give Ryan and the team a hug right now ... poor babies."

Group E
Sorthern Northland 3-3 Krytenia
Yafor 2 2-0 Qazox

Group F
Jeru FC 0-1 Demot
Bazalonia 0-1 Starblaydia

Matchday 3 results for Groups A-D are posted (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14221279&postcount=24), along with second round fixtures in Valanora.

The Marie Blog - World Cup 43 Group Game 3

Hey ho everyone. I didn't play against Terreiro de Ogum today, mainly because of a sore head from the last game. I actually spent the day in my room playing on my Wii and watching the game on the TV. Most of the team got the day off apart from the younger brigade. Even we lost this game, we would have topped the group anyway. The coach didn't want our big players to pick up stupid injuries today. Not to be disrespectful to our opponents, but one needs protect the team from unnecessary injury and give the kids a bit time in real play.

Team goss! Cousin Kate Sallad is now selling the old house since the Sallads have moved out of the old place. Jacinta moved in with Coss when they got married as well as Kate and Mary moved to the bigger new house recently. I'm sure it will sell for a great price because the Sallads lived in it. Some people think our coach Moany has some sorta crush on that Merginn fella. Moany is 70 and Merginn is younger, it's all crap! She's just being supporting a fellow Jeruselemite coach. At 70, she's not going have any more kids or getting married. Yes she did send a dirty DVD of herself but only because she knows Merginn likes that kinda video.

I heard there's a new comedy being made called "Dad's Army FC". It's about a team of retiring army guys forming a football team but on minimal costs. Sounds like a poke at our Jeru FC boys to me. I heard the coach is a bit of a Nazi, the team are lazy slobs who drink too much (SN?) and the team marketing person is a Dazza Dallas clone with a tendency to sleep with clients (err like me). Well, sounds interesting. Sounds like Jeruselem, Jeru FC and SN in one team.

There's rumours our own Jenny Sloan is going turn up on Top Gear Jeruselem. I'm sure the Jenny fans would want to watch that.

Hey, there's some people out there who think I dived last game. It looked a bit like I dived but I don't go slow. I almost knocked myself out you know. Had to avoid planting myself into the goal post. Them idiots should try running fast and tripping over a rock ... see what happens, you fly. You can't exactly just stop ya know.

Everyone please send messages of support to Ryan Greenly and his team. The man needs to know we the Jeruselem people think he's done a great job with Jeru FC. Ryan is done a lot for us and despite Jeru FC not making the 2nd round, we are proud to have him as the coach of Jeru FC. Oh yes, if you see a Qazian or Qazoxian or you know ... be nice to them, their team just got dumped out of the World Cup 43.

If any of you geeks on WOW find some weird looking tavern which looks more like a whorehouse called "Ladies of Leisure", it's run by a team of female Dallas fans. The character in there who looks like me named "Heidi Ho", is my character. Please say hello to her and give some work to do. It is a whorehouse after all. Oh don't go picking fights with the girls, they actually can kill you. No picking fights with the Dallas Guild either, as it's huge with the best WOW female Dallas fans kicking ass.

Oh yes, we lost today but you already know we played the kids.

One more thing, my Ferrari F40 is for sale! I'm buying a new Porsche 911 GT2. Look on my blog page for details. If I can't sell, I'll just give it to a relative.

QSPN.Com World Cup Coverage

WORLD CUP SCHEDULE
MD1: DRAW 2-2 #24 Sorthern Northland @ Becugheralang, Vephrall
MD2: DRAW 3-3 #29 Krytenia @ Becugheralang, Vephrall
MD3: LOST 0-2 #15 Yafor 2 @ Apenbast, Vephrall

Once again, Qazox wasted another World Cup oppertunity. In 36 World Cup matches, Qazox has only won 8 times and lost now 20, with 8 draws. For a team that has been one of the most consistant qualifers over the past 40 years, the struggles in the Cup itself remain a mystery. Now once again Qazox has to wait 4 more years to attempt to finally prove it is an elite nation. But just how much longer will they attempt to breakthrough?

QAZOX SCORING today
None

QAZOX World Cup SCORING
Raul de Olivares- 2
Charles Marquis- 1
Yolanda Christian- 1
Jason Erca- 1

QAZOX Qualifier SCORING
Charles Marquis- 10
Raul de Olivares- 9
Yolanda Christian- 6
Bonnie Young- 2
Jason Erca- 2
Brittany Lopes- 2
Michelle de Barre- 2
Opal Howard- 2
Benjamin Ernst- 2
Georgette Savoy- 2
David Shultz- 1

At first, it didn't look any different from the previous swarm. But they were acting as a coordinated whole. The entire body swept down from the mountain in an almost bird-like form, and shots poured out of the creature's body in all directions as each eye opened fire. The chaotic rain of fire broke up the Rhinemaiden formations. Erica accelerated away from the battlefield as her brother instructed, with Russ and Peter not far behind. She bobbed up and down in midair to avoid flying straight, lest she get hit. The creature's advance was temporarily halted by a head on shot from Joe's Mammoth.

"Kaguya, the Beast Machines have engaged the enemy, designated Goliath 2!" reported Inoue. "We're out of our league, here!"

The attack blew two holes in the creature's body of eyes, leaving a gap that rotated around the body as the whirlwind continued. The monster shrieked and gave its wings a mightly flap. The burst was directed at him. Daniel and Jun leaped clear as the wind struck, kicking up dust and rocks but failing to move the Mammoth more than a few feet. The cockpit still shook violently as Joe punched his thrusters against the wind. The shot cleared and he fired again.

Another burst was directed at the retreating planes. Erica was caught in the line of fire and was thrown into a violent tailspin, as her balance was completely thrown off. Parts of the plane were stripped straight off as alarms blared. She struggled against the controls but was unable to right the craft. Russ and Peter had turned off their retreat paths in an instant and made a beeline for the stricken craft. Erica's mind was rattling; it was getting harder to breathe. Russ got there first and pulled alongside her plane as best he could, and in one smooth motion, swung out his arms as he transformed into GUARDIAN mode. He grabbed onto her plane and countered with his directional thrusters to try and slow the rotation. Peter latched on next and tried to slow down their translational movement. Their altitude had fallen to around a thousand feet before they brought Erica's craft to a gentle stop. By then, the battlefield was far behind them.

"Your highness, are you okay?" Russ radioed. "Hime-sama? Damn, she's probably unconscious!" The two of them remained in GUARDIAN and continued their flight back to the base. Behind them, they could see explosions as the Beast Machines took the field. Just what the hell are those things?!

Daniel, unaware of his sister's condition, kept his focus completely on the monster before him. But as each attack tore off an eye making up its body, the monster started deflecting more and more. Missiles got close and then lost their momentum. Bullets and lasers were deflected or passed straight through. The body was looking more wispy and dusty, but there was certainly something there. Another screech, but this time it was a direct attack on the Eagle. Tetsuya couldn't even see anything coming but was struck hard, sending him into a spin. He pulled back on the controls and swooped low to the ground and back up into the sky.

"It's just using the air!" Daniel yelled. "Watch its eyes!"

"We need some time for form up!" Jun said as she watched another one of her artillery rounds deflect wide.

Joe gritted his teeth as he prepared another laser attack. "There's just not enough power behind these shots!" he said while charging another shot. His energy gauge started to go up and a white glow began to emanate from the Mammoth. "Come on, hit him!!"

It's doing it again, that color... thought Jun. Joe unleashed the attack. The beams flew straight and true, but did not deflect like the others. These crashed straight into the monster and it howled with pain. The glow faded from Joe's machine as the demon fell back. "That did it!" she exclaimed. "Guys, while he's down!"

"Activate combination program!" ordered Tetsuya. The Mammoth charged forward and the Liger and Cougar soon joined its side. Tetsuya brought his Eagle around and lined up with the other three. "Form feet and legs!" The Mammoth unpacked itself, with its massive hoverjet engines keeping it going even as it rose into the air. "Form arms and body!" The Liger and Cougar jumped up and detached their cockpits, with both folding into the torso. The hands dropped down as the arms locked into place. "And I'll form... the head!!" The Eagle slammed into top, the chest plate snapping into place while his cockpit rotated up. The head came down with a clang, and the eyes lit up as the combined machine touched down. "Four Beast Divine Combination... DANCOUGAR!"

The monster roared as it scrambled back into position, its massive wings kicking up the earth beneath it. Tetsuya held his ground and directed the right arm forward. The artillery guns which was Jun's main weapon had rotated back to the the wrist right behind the hand. With the fist cupped, he fired. The monster responded with a powerful flap that sent the attack flying wide.

"It's just going to deflect projectiles!" Daniel said. "Tetsuya, we need to use energy attacks."

"Fine then, we'll turn up the heat!" Tetsuya replied. The robot's chest, the Eagle's wings, started to glow bright red, as if an Eagle Cutter was being readied. The monster started to advance and screeched. "How about this? DANCOU~BUUUUUUURRRRRRN!"

Kara Kool with a redhead dressed as someone from World Of Warcraft (Sexy female Half-Elf Mage)

Kara: I'm Kara Kool, and this is ... err ... Heido Ho? This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE.
Marie: Hello, I'm Heido Ho from WOW.
Kara: It's just Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas being an idiot.
Marie: Call me Heido Ho!

Kara: Let's talk the 2nd round of the World Cup 43. It's knock-out time.
Marie: Yes, no second chances here. Losing is not an option, it's a reality.
Kara: Let's start in Vephrall where Qazox and Jeru FC failed to make the 2nd round.
Marie: You have feel sorry for poor Ryan Greenly, but he's supporting Jeruselem now.

Kara: Yafor 2 take on Starblaydia who had to fight off Jeru FC to make the 2nd round.
Marie: We all know the Purple Menace are great team in the knockouts but Yafor 2 are looking quite impressive winning their group with Starblaydia not impressing too much of late.
Kara: I think the Purple Menace will win with their hardened finals team.
Marie: Yafor 2 is good enough to win in my opinion.

Kara: Demot are coming off three wins and face Merginn's Southern Northland. SN have been doing quite well despite being drunk all the time.
Marie: Yes, Demot are impressive while SN are punching above expections.
Kara: I'm tipping SN to upset Demot here.
Marie: I'm sticking to Demot here because they are just going on well. SN will fight to the end.

Kara: Dancougar take on Bostopia. Both teams have been playing well and this one is hard one to pick.
Marie: Oh yes, Bostopia and Dancougar have been quitely make progress without much incident.
Kara: I'd pick Bostopia, not because of Emperor Boston but because of their past record at this stage.
Marie: I think the Cougar man could spring a win here.

Kara: Hosts Vephrall play Ah'ihan. Both teams aren't names people talk about but they have great football teams.
Marie: Ah'ihan progressed here because the Monks failed to impress in their group and the Monks lost to Ah'ihan.
Kara: Local support will push Vephrall into quarters for me.
Marie: I reckon Ad'ihan have the talent to overcome the hosts.

Kara: Right, now for Elf-land.
Marie: There's some interest games here!
Kara: Firstly, the hosts Valanora have to remove Wentland from the equation.
Marie: Valanora are the big favourite here. With the SLANI, Milchama, Bazalonia, the Monks and Qazox failing - it leaves the cup wide open here.

Kara: Wentland are just going about their business and can't be dismissed.
Marie: I'm still tipping our pointy-eared hosts here.
Kara: Same here, Elves are too good I think.
Marie: We agreed on something!

Kara: Hey, you're not an Elf on WoW are you?
Marie: No, I'm actually a Half-Elf on WoW.
Kara: Why is that?
Marie: Humans are too tall for me! (smiling)

Kara: OK, the HAN take on Tynelia who just seem to keep on going.
Marie: The Han are playing quite well and not a team to just dismiss now.
Kara: Tynelia, I think they could be dark horse of this cup.
Marie: I think the Korean soap opera called the Han will continue.

Kara: Cafundéu vs Terreiro de Ogum ... master vs puppet!
Marie: Terreiro de Ogum only got through because we fielded a 2nd string team for the last game. Otherwise the SLANI might have made the 2nd round.
Kara: Good point, Cafundéu ... the master will beat the puppet.
Marie: Yes, I think so to.

Kara: OK, the big one. Jeruselem vs Lovisa.
Marie: There's only one outcome I want to think about.
Kara: Marie hates losing, but then you all knew that.
Marie: I respect Lovisa, they are a veteran who deserves all our respect but there's no place for sympathy on the battlefield.

Kara: Yes, there is only one winner ... and for us, it must be Jeruselem.
Marie: Failure is not the option we must take.
Kara: It's death or glory for Marie here.
Marie: We're not here to make friends, we're here to win a world cup.

Kara: Well, that's it from us.
Marie: Don't forget, support Jeruselem! And Southern Northland! And I have a car for sale.
Kara: It's that nice Ferrari F40 right?
Marie: Yes, you want to buy?

Kara: Have to ask hubby first. I think he's after a cheap Veron.
Marie: There's no such thing as a cheap Veron unless it's trashed.
Kara: Tell him that ...
Marie: He's not having mine.

Vephrall

Yafor 2 v Starblaydia @ Becugheralang, Speilers
Demot v Sorthern Northland @ Neoss, Gloem
Dancougar v Bostopia @ Fonong-Pelle, Solonds
Vephrall v Ad'ihan @ Palloner, Pallona

Valanora

Valanora v Wentland @ The Battleground, Raynor City
Daehanjeiguk v Tynelia @ Artani, Mar Sara
Cafundéu v Terreiro de Ogum @ The White Fortress, Gladerial
Jeruselem v Lovisa @ Hatire Memorial, Capri

Now a special report from Milchama Television!

90th minute: Miller with two goals and Bugsy Borker chipping in with one of his own and despite a somewhat leaky defense that gave up two goals the time is just ticking off the clock as Halforth passes to Merrian who passes back to the keeper who boots it up field and yes! THE WHISTLE BLOWS MILCHAMA WIN AND ADVANCE TO THE SECOND ROUND! WAIT! No they don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $#@#%(&*^(%^#$@#$%(*)%$%@%^$%%(*&)&*%&%#%^$#$%&*()(&^#$@#$%^(OP*()_*%&*%#$%$%^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Smacks head against table repeatedly*

"Goddamnit Milchama crash out despite 6 points as they lose on Goal difference to Wentland and those Orientals. Goddamnit. Well this is *static* signing off goodbye from World Cup 43 the most disappointing WC since 29.

Oscar Goldsworth has resigned as Kura-Pelland manager and is expected to seek work abroad after Kura-Pelland were controversially knocked out of the World Cup by Lovisa.

He has the overwhelming support of the country for his stance on the match, if not his decision to resign after it, as not one but two perfectly good Kura-Pellandi goals were disallowed before Lovisa's 89th-minute winner from a spurious penalty, the anonymous Lovisan striker barely being touched by Bo Phelps before going down on the edge of the box.

'It wasn't a penalty even if it was a foul. And it wasn't a foul,' Goldsworth insisted. 'Someone doesn't like us and I am quite happy to return the insult.' In a country that loves a good conspiracy theory, that went down brilliantly. Prime Minister Andrew McCauley, whose National Democrats looked certain to be ousted from power in elections next week, has announced trade sanctions with Lovisa, and saw his approval ratings rise to his highest in a year. Make no mistake, this is an angry nation, and Jeruselem - of all people - will be cheered to the rafters in households up and down Kura-Pelland on Thursday night.

That Qazox, Capitalizt SLANI and Milchama have all fallen at the first hurdle is of no consolation to the disgruntled fans - far from it. It makes it worse, as does Vephrall's qualification in a Cup they co-hosted but did not host a match involving their neighbours. This was a team some expected to repeat the semi-final heroics of WC41. While that seemed unrealistic, the exit of such high-profile teams would have made it seem at least imaginable.

The KPFA are now considering hiring their first ever foreign coach. The National Democrats are planning to plot against them to make this impossible. This exit could be the breaking of Kura-Pellandi football...

The Albrecht Herald Online>Global Edition>Sport>Breaking News

Healy quits following Hellgate nightmare The Big Blues’ longest-serving and most successful manager has handed in a resignation accepted by the CAMAFA, hours after C&M crumbled to a two-one defeat to World Cup Group A rivals Az-cz.

Two earlier defeats had left Kris Healy’s team with only rankings points to play for, alongside the honour of beating the Robbers in the sixth senior international encounter between the two nations. A much-changed C&M side took an early lead through Niv Cohen’s cross-cum-shot, but failed to build on a positive start and finally conceded on the stroke of half-time through Dip-Ze’s piledriver.

Though that effort may have been effectively unstoppable, the small group of travelling Candelariasians were quick to round on Healy’s team selection and coaching – egged on by earpiece observers providing a running commentary to the largely blind supporters – when a hopeless defensive mix-up between Steven Williams, Enrique Silva de Aviz and the ‘keeper Felix Currey allowed Lar-La to sweep into the box unmolested, and set up Pu-Oh to finish with ease. If anything, Healy was the first to admit, C&M were fortunate not to concede several more before, on the eighty-first minute, outgoing captain Matteo Corradini picked up a second yellow card for an angry challenge on the Az-czzer midfield sweeper, Nu-Nu.

The defeat leaves the Candelariasian side with the worst record at the forty-third World Cup proper, alongside the equally woeful Septentrionia – former finalists Bazalonia were the only other side to lose every game. The team’s performance was quickly defended by Williams, who stressed the challenging nature of the group and tipped both the Eesseff and Tynelia to make the quarter-finals, but the manager himself offering no such excuses. The full text of his formal resignation statement has yet to be released, but Healy told TV1 that it was “clearly time for change.”

“I’m honoured to have even had the job,” he continued, “never mind to have achieved what I’ve achieved. A full senior trophy, a last-eight place – who really would have expected that of us six years ago? I stand by my record, and that of the players, but ultimately I can’t hide from the fact that this was a truly disappointing effort from myself and the lads this year, and clearly… we need some fresh ideas. I’ll be stepping down, and I think it’s with my honour – and career – intact, and… I can honestly say that I’m looking forward to watching C&M move on to better things with a new man in charge.”

The squad are already on their way back to the Candelarias, with the immediate fall-out seeing Williams join Corradini in announcing his retirement from the international game. Several other elder statesmen of the squad however, including Connor Mengucci and Dionísio Madeira Lobos, have already stated their hope of continuing to play under the new manager.

Leading Candelariasian bookmakers HarryHall.cam have moved to install Elgin Dannat, the title-winning Caires City boss, as 5-2 favourite to follow in Healy’s footsteps, with Clube Imperial’s Javier Sanchez close behind at 4-1. Longer odds see Carlos Panadero, of the El din Marbles, available at 8-1, United Trilan’s Adam Williamson at tens, and Green Island’s Hane Davies at 16-1. Former C&M managers Mark Baker, Ricardo Garcia and Lloyd Donnelly are named at 60-1, 30-1 and 80-1 respectively.

With the CAMAFA looking unlikely to do so, the Allemali-based bookmaker has promised to refund all bets should the country’s football association install a foreigner, though their Nethertopian counterparts HarryLandhuis.nth are less conservative; with local man Rob Kietecs, of Tenderville United, offered at 25-1, and outgoing Kura-Pelland manager Oscar Goldsworth available at 100-1. Back home however, internet gossip has already seen Goldsworth leapfrog Alvery Blades manager Luís Enrique Torrealba as the favourite to take the vacant position at Cathedral City.

A planned celebration of the team in Albrecht next week has been cancelled meanwhile, though few expect the backlash once the players return to their club sides to be great – perhaps aside from Corradini, who has been warned to expect a chilly reception for Albrecht FC’s trip to Talinger this weekend.

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WORLD CUP 43 – VALANORA AND VEPHRALL
Full coverage – including comments from Breno Gavião, notes by Sílvio Ruiz and interviews by César Lang
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QUALIFICATION COMES IN PEACEFUL GAME, BUT FULL OF GOALS

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/8665/jsy2xq3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Da Silva slides to tackle the ball

And the Monopolists were able to end the group stage with a good result in a very enjoyable game against Jaseuyeon. What's more, in a game that surprised many people, as no player received cards. So this was a very pacific game, dominated by fair play. The performance of the team so far has been good, with a convincing victory over Lovisa in the first game being balanced by a complicated slip in the second game with Kura-Pelland, which ended in a draw. So, the supporters were expecting the result of this third game against Jaseuyeon to conclude if the team is doing a good job or not. And, with the way that the game finished, they are surely optimist about the future of the Cafundelense team in the competition. This optimism is even bigger after the team discovered the identity of the next opponent: the Terreiro de Ogum team.

But the victory in this game wasn’t necessary just to motivate the supporters and bring confidence to the country. Before everything, a good result in this game was necessary to qualify Cafundéu for the oitavas, as the team wasn’t qualified. With the win, the team not only got the qualification, but also the qualification as the first placed team of the group, which helped the team in getting a not-so-difficult (to not say easy) opponent in the next round, the neighbours (not exactly neighbours, but the countries are close to one another) from Terreiro de Ogum. Different from Estresse Intenso, the relationship between Cafundéu and Terreiro de Ogum is pacific, without rivalries. After all, both share their hate for Estresse Intenso.

THE FIRST HALF: both teams still had qualifying chances, so both coaches decided to prepare offensive strategies for this game. But Cafundéu’s offense, one of the best of the entire world, was much more prepared for this kind of strategy than Jaseuyeon, and it became clear for the supporters when the game started. Controlling well the ball in the midfield and creating some dangerous chances, the Monopolists threatened the opponents many times. Jaseuyeon sometimes could get the ball from a missed pass or a mistake by a Cafundelense, but Júlio Sampa hardly had work to do. Playing better than the opponents, Cafundéu could open a good lead still in the first half.

Moreira, who had already lost a good goal chance minutes before (the ball went wide, but because it hit a defender before), scored the first goal of the game. He took a free kick, the ball hit the wall, Hubert recovered it and passed it to Moreira, who invaded the area with speed and shot to score. The second game came nearly fifteen minutes later, something that worried some supporters. Danilo Sampa headed the ball after a crossing by Augusto César, giving no chances to the goalkeeper. Few minutes after, Hubert received the ball from Silveira near the area, dribbled two defenders and shot the ball to the left corner of the goal. With these goals, Cafundéu could end the first half with a very comfortable lead.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Moreira’s goal): “Danilo Sampa’s shirrrrrt was pulled near the entrrrrrance of the arrrrrea, frrrrree kick for Cafundéu. It seems a good chance for Morrrrrreirrrrrra to scorrrrrre. He goes to take the frrrrree kick... it hits the wall! Huberrrrrrt is still able to take the rrrrrebound, holds the ball, makes a pass to the arrrrrrea, Morrrrreirrrrrrra appearrrrrrs therrrrrre like a flash, contrrrrrrrols the ball, shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Show the worrrrrrld this rrrrrreplay, people! Morrrrreirrrrra, number eleven! Now the rrrrresult is Cafundéu one, Jaseuyeon zerrrrro! If you arrrrrre looking for quality musical instrrrrrruments, frrrrrom the most famous brrrrrands of the worrrrrrld, you need to visit the Rrrrrabecão storrrrre. Guitarrrrrrs, pianos, saxophones, drrrrrrrums, pandeirrrrros and much morrrrre!”

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/1667/jsy3vt6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Danilo Sampa attempts to score again in the game

THE SECOND HALF: winning by a very good goal margin, there wasn’t anything that Júlio Vargas had to do. The result was comfortable and the team was playing well, with the qualification practically assured, especially as the game between Kura-Pelland and Lovisa was a draw at that time. Anyway, he decided to put Rossi in the game, as he felt the midfielder deserved more playing time. The Cafundelenses returned to the game very confident, and looking to hold the result until the end. But they were surprised by a well done counterattack made by Jaseuyeon. With a long pass, a defender gave a clear goal chance to someone, who shot and scored the goal of the Monopolists’ opponents.

That goal was an extremely surprising one, as Jaseuyeon didn’t seem to have the power to react in the game. But the supporters, after the game was played by some more minutes, could notice that they really didn’t have that power. One goal was the maximum that they could do, and Cafundéu soon retained the control of the game, holding the ball in the midfield and making few attacks. In one of them, the Monopolists could even score another goal. Silvinho took the ball from an opponent and made a good long pass to Rossi, who lobbed an opponent and shot to the goal. But that was all. The game ended in a good 4x1 victory for Cafundéu, which put the team in the oitavas-de-final.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Hubert’s goal): “Cafundéu gets the ball back in the midfield after Fabinho’s missed pass. It’s Silveirrrrra now who is with the ball in the midfield. Looks at the attack, sends the ball to it. Huberrrrrt rrrrrruns to it, takes the ball, faces the defenderrrrrs... with strrrrrength he passes by one, drrrrribbles the second, has an excellent chance to scorrrrre, shoots... look at the goal, look at the golaço! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! This is a goal that has to have a rrrrreplay! Huberrrrrrrrt, number eighteen! Cafundéu thrrrrree, Jaseuyeon zerrrrrro! Want to go on a drrrrream crrrrrruise, but don’t have enough money for such a luxurrrrrrious trrrrravel? The solution is rrrrrright in frrrrront of you! Trrrravel in our Barrrrratim crrrrruise, in our exclusive indigenous boat... surrrrrely an unforrrrrrgettable trrrrrrip!”

INTERVIEWS WITH CÉSAR LANG: this result was surely an important one, to put the team in the next round of the World Cup and also to give the players some confidence... and to make the supporters happy, of course! The coach Júlio Sampa told the press after the game: “I will be sincere: I was expecting a more difficult game, but I think that this game seemed easy not because Jaseuyeon played badly, but because Cafundéu was simply brilliant today. I am very proud of the team right now and I really think we can reach an advanced stage in this World Cup.” The midfielder Silveira also talked after the game, saying: “We did very well today, both in defence and offense. I have to give special attention to Hubert... he was a key player for us today. One thing that makes this Cafundelense team special is because it is full of good players, not only the starters.”

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 3 (Rossi’s goal): “Da Silva rrrrrreceives the ball, but makes a fast pass to Silvinho who is next to him. The midfielder has many attacking options, Danilo Sampa rrrrrruns near the arrrrrea asking for the ball. He passes it to Rrrrrrossi, it’s a long pass, but Rrrrrossi manages to lob a defender, a nice move. The goalkeeper leaves the goal to faces him, he shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Show me a rrrrreplay! Rrrrrrrossi, number nineteen! Cafundéu now with four, Jaseuyeon only with one! Nothing better to rrrrrefrrrrrresh yourrrrrrrself than Guarrrrrraná Juju! Guarrrrraná Juju, naturrrrrrally rrrrrrefrrrrrreshing!”

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/9895/jsy1je2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Rossi right after scoring his goal

CAFUNDÉU 4x1 JASEUYEON

Place: Artani, Mar Sara.
Attendance: 74,002 people.
Time: 17:00 Cafundelense time.
Climate: clear, 33°C.
Referee: Sharon Rekke (Jeruselem).
Assistants: Linda Markin (Jeruselem) and Marco Cravert (Milchama).
MOTM: Hubert (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Alex, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Fabinho (Silvinho 70’), Da Silva, Augusto César (Rossi 45’) and Moreira; Hubert and Danilo Sampa (Alves 82’).
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

JASEUYEON: no team released.

Goals:CAF: Moreira 20’ , Danilo Sampa 34’ , Hubert 37’ , Rossi 75’.
JSY: someone 58’.

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Goalscorers (WC goals):

13- Danilo Sampa (1)
7- Augusto César
5- Marossi, Moreira (2), Hubert (2)
3- Silveira, Rossi (1)
2- Titov, Fausto, Alves (1)
1- Alex, Silvinho, Fabinho, Renildo
2 own goals

The two pais-de-santo continue to meet each other every day to comment about life, about faith, the rituals they have to do and, most importantly, about football and their favourite soap opera, which is coming to its end after nearly two years being broadcast by Globo Multimedia.

PAI ADONIRAN – “Welcome, Jacinto, it’s good to see you again here in my house. Feel yourself at home.”

PAI JACINTO – “Thanks, my friend. I’m sorry to be using your television just to follow the soap opera, but I hope you understand my reasons.”

PAI ADONIRAN – “I understand it perfectly. I couldn’t stand to not be able to follow the soap opera, especially today that it’s the last chapter.”

PAI JACINTO – “But, how are you? Are you full of work or things haven’t been good for business lately?”

PAI ADONIRAN – “I’m full of work, thankfully. You know, lately a lot of people have been searching for rituals... to conquer someone’s love, to be successful in the job, to win money, to kill an enemy, to get peace and happiness, these common things... every day my terreiro gets filled with these people looking for my services, I am very happy right now. And, of course, the Orixás are the ones I must thank to.”

PAI JACINTO – “That’s right. I have a lot of work too, thanks to the Orixás. Last day I even ran out of black chickens to sacrifice! The Orixás are surely being magnificent to me, I don’t even know how to show that I appreciate their help.”

PAI ADONIRAN – “Well, maybe we should do a ritual.”

PAI JACINTO – “Surely we should!”

PAI ADONIRAN – “Yesterday someone came to me asking for a ritual to help the football National Team of Terreiro de Ogum... something that could make the game against Jeruselem easy. I worked hard, but I did an excellent ritual to call the Orixás for this service.”

PAI JACINTO – “I don’t have a TV at home... which was the result?”

PAI ADONIRAN – “Let me tell you the full story first. The ritual worked, the Orixás heard my prayers and decided to help the team. It seemed that all the starters of the Jeruselem National Team stayed the whole day in the bathroom due to a rotten lunch... probably affected by the power of the Orixás!”

PAI JACINTO – “So Terreiro de Ogum won by forfeit?”

PAI ADONIRAN – “No, they still had their bench players... but, I must tell you something: I watched the game and, with no offense to their country, but these bench players are simply horrible! They can’t even control the ball properly; our team scored a goal in the first minute and then just held the ball during the remainder of the game. If these are the Jeruselem’s future starters, the kids that hold the future of the country’s football, Jeruselem has serious problems. This was by far the easiest game of Terreiro de Ogum.”

PAI JACINTO – “So we won by one to zero? That’s amazing! I mean, this means that our team has qualified for the next stage for the World Cup, correct?”

PAI ADONIRAN – “That’s correct. We qualified in second, and will face Cafundéu in the next game.”

PAI JACINTO – “Cafundéu? That would be interesting. They have a good team, but we have something more... we have the Orixás on our side! I’ll prepare some rituals for this game...”

PAI ADONIRAN – “Look! The soap opera is about to start!”

The last chapter of the soap opera “The Yaforite” starts. Odakale decided to accept to meet the drug dealer in a desert park, just to save the life of his son. He knows that he will probably be killed, but hopes to save the one that just recently he discovered that is his son.

PAI ADONIRAN – “It’s now that we’ll see how this will end.”

PAI JACINTO – “Odakale is stupid to accept the drug dealer’s demands... he knows that the man wants to kill him!”

PAI ADONIRAN – “But it’s his son, he has to save him...”

Sound of the TV:

ODAKALE – “I am here. Leave my son in peace, he did nothing to you. It is me that you want, so let’s end this once for all.”

DRUG DEALER – “Very good, Idurv. I am happy to see that you are idiot enough to come here, in the last day of your life.”

ODAKALE – “Well, I’ve come as you asked, so now release my son. You can do whatever you want with me later. You can even kill me, but leave my son alone!”

DRUG DEALER – “You can stay relaxed. I don’t have anything to do with this stupid kid. You are my problem, and I’ll remove you from this world today. The kid will leave, but will see his father dying in front of him.”

KID – “Dad, flee! You shouldn’t care so much about me! You only knew me last month!”

ODAKALE – “You are my son, I just can’t let this man do anything with you.”

KID – “But dad, he’ll kill you!”

ODAKALE – “I am prepared for this. So, what now? Will you shoot me now and end with this once for all?”

DRUG DEALER – “I’ll shoot you, really. You nearly destroyed my drug business, you betrayed me when you were working with the mafia...”

ODAKALE – “I simply left the mafia. That’s different.”

DRUG DEALER – “Shut up! Then you revealed my name to the police when they captured you... later thanks to you I got arrested...”

ODAKALE – “You were arrested by your own crimes.”

DRUG DEALER – “I said shut up! And, the biggest sin of all, you stole one of my girlfriends from me! She is mine! She is mine!”

ODAKALE – “She didn’t want you anymore, as I am sure the other two don’t want you too. Go back to your favela and to your samba, leave her alone.”

DRUG DEALER – “It doesn’t matter if she wants me or not, it is not her choice! She is mine, and must do what I demand her to do! And you, for stealing her for me, will pay!”

ODAKALE – “Go ahead.”

DRUG DEALER – “As much as I wanted to do it now, I must get something from you before. Someone released me from prison, and he wants me to take some information from you...”

ODAKALE – “I know who he is.”

DRUG DEALER – “He says that you stole a lot of gold from the mafia before you left it. He wants to know where the gold is. So... will you tell or do you prefer to see your son dead?”

KID – “Dad...”

ODAKALE – “I don’t have the gold anymore. Someone found it from where I hid it.”

DRUG DEALER – “Liar! I’ll just give you one more chance!”

Suddenly, a noise of sirens.

DRUG DEALER – “This noise... what is happening?”

ODAKALE – “Did you really think that I wouldn’t call the police? I was expecting to die today, but at least hoping to see you arrested. But, thanks to this chat we have had, you’ll be arrested before having even a chance to shoot me!”

POLICE OFFICER – “You are surrounded! Surrender now! We are ready to shoot you if you disobey!”

ODAKALE – “This is the end of the line for you.”

DRUG DEALER – “It can be, Idurv, it can be... but I’ll not go alone!”

The drug dealer shoots twice at Odakale. Before he is able to shoot more times, the police officers shoot him many times, surely killing him.

POLICE OFFICER – “He decided to shoot the other man, didn’t surrender. Well, at least we got rid of this criminal.”

ODAKALE – “Argh... argh...”

KID – “Dad, are you alright? Please don’t die!”

POLICE OFFICER – “Kid, get away from him! We’ll take him to the hospital!”

KID – “Dad, resist! You are strong!”

The pais-de-santo return to comment:

PAI ADONIRAN – “I could imagine that it would end like this.”

PAI JACINTO – “Well, most of these soap operas are really predictable. But this scene was very exciting, one of the best of the entire soap opera.”

PAI ADONIRAN – “Of course, it was the climax. Now we already know how this will end... Odakale will get recovered from the shots in the hospital, make a family with his son and the former girlfriend of the drug dealer, and they’ll be happy. They’ll continue living in Cafundéu, as Odakale doesn’t need to run from his enemies anymore, as the drug dealer is dead.”

In the end, all happens like Pai Adoniran said. But Pai Jacinto has a doubt:

PAI JACINTO – “What about that Han investigator? He is one of the villains, and he didn’t appear yet in this episode.”

PAI ADONIRAN – “Something bad will happen to him, I’m sure of it.”

Sound of the TV again:

HAN INVESTIGATOR – (speaking on the phone) “What? Are you sure of this? So my plan was simply destroyed with his death... did you get this information directly from the police? That’s horrible news, really horrible... how can I put my hands on this gold now? And this Mujeongbu associate will now be able to walk free on the streets... what about me? Do they know something about me? What... they do? Are you sure they will be able to reach me? You are an excellent informant, thanks, I must leave this country immediately then...”

The investigator starts to pack his things to leave.

HAN INVESTIGATOR – “I’ve got to do this fast. If he is right, the police already know that I am involved, and can go after me anytime.”

Sound of police sirens, but in a bit more oriental version.

HAN INVESTIGATOR – “I recognize this sound... is the Daehanjeiguk special police! I must run!”

HAN POLICE OFFICER – “Stop! Surrender yourself! You are surrounded, you have nowhere to go! The Cafundelense police has proofs that you are involved in crimes!”

HAN INVESTIGATOR – “It seems I have no choice... I surrender!”

HAN POLICE OFFICER – “Good. Throw here your weapons. You are an embarrassment for all the Han citizens... we are honest people, respectable... you are just a criminal. You don’t deserve to be a Han.”

HAN INVESTIGATOR – “Oh, stop it and arrest me!”

HAN POLICE OFFICER – “You are arrested.”

The pais-de-santo return to comment:

PAI JACINTO – “Well, that’s it. The soap opera has ended. It was nice while it lasted.”

PAI ADONIRAN – “Yes, I can’t wait for the next one. But now, I think I’ll focus myself on my work.”

PAI JACINTO – “And on the rituals too...”

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Meanwhile, in Valanora:

TROMBADA - "Man, I can't get a job, man, no country wants to hire a good coach like me, man... look at this - (he is watching a football game) - Jeruselem isn't playing with its starters, man, and these reserves are simply horrible, man... I should take their coaching job, man... - (someone approaches him and throws two letters at his direction)"

TROMBADA - "It seems that these letters are for me, man! Will I get a job, man? Let me read the first one, man... is from someone from Rennidan, man, a Malkoa dude, man... what? A threat, man? Who is this stupid man, man? This man, man, wants to kill me, man! He can try, man! I am Chicão Trombada, it's not anyone who can hurt me, man!"

TROMBADA - "Well, he says that he can finish me anytime, man... I'd like to see him trying, man, people are afraid of me, man, even professional killers, man. He would have to do the job by himself, man! And then I'd shoot him right in the face, man! That's it, man! I'll answer this letter challenging him for a gun fight, man, to see who is stronger, man! Even the doctors from the Landau Institute couldn't hold me, man, I doubt he could, man! I'll write this letter now, man!"

TROMBADA - "Now to the second letter, man! It is from Sorthern Northland, man. Someone from the Football Association, man? Can it be... man, man, man! I must read it now, man... (reads) dear Mr. Trombada, we are glad to inform you that we have a coaching job available here in our country, of our U-21 National Team, which will play the next Di Bradini Cup soon... are you interested?" (finishes reading) Man, of course I am, man, this is my chance, man!"

TROMBADA - "They are also willing to give me a supply of beer every minute, man! It is the job of my dreams, man! I am also able to invade the field naked if I want, shoot the players and referee if I want, pressure the referee... man, this is the perfect job, man! I'll travel to Sorthern Northland right now... I'll walk to there, man! Finally, man, finally I have a job, man! After leaving that Institute, now I am able to do something I ever wanted to do, man!"

Leaves Valanora walking... to Sorthern Northland.

Dancougar News!!
Haha, you have to read at least one more giant robot RP!

Clutch win clinches advancement: Yafalonia and Bazor 2 were able to upset the Archregimancy, but as it turned out, the Wings had things well under control in their game, defeating Ad'ihan 3-0 to win Group G.

After two straight last-day defeats, the win recalled the heroics of Charles DuPont's World Cup 40 team, which defeated Cafundeu 4-3 on the final day to advance from group play with a 1-0-2 record. Two group stage wins this time sets up a date with the high-flying Bostopians. "I think we rebounded very well from the first game," said Solomon Bilbao. "As many adjustments as we make in between games, it's ultimately up to the players."

Neither team took the initiative early, and they traded possession in midfield. The first attacks were so conservative that you would never guess that the match was being contested between managers whose jobs were completely safe. The first look at goal didn't come until the 11th minute when Jake Holmes had a go from 25 yards away. Yuji Watanabe watched it sail over the bar, but it seemed like the shot had come out of frustration more than anything. Both teams started to move the ball a little more fluidly. Julian D'Abbo and Dan Potts both produced stronger shots in the minutes that followed, and each 'keeper was equal to the task.

In the 23rd, D'Abbo produced another chance that led to a scramble in the box. The wily veteran attempted a short pass to an oncoming Greg Innisvale, but Casey Berber read the play and got his foot in the way. The ball bounced right back to D'Abbo, who stepped up and took a crack. It went straight at Watanabe, who palmed it down, where Sho Yukikaze was able to finally clear. At the half hour mark, it was Ad'ihan producing the better chances, but the Wings got back into it thanks to Benjamin Whittaker. Known for his scrappy work down the left side of the field, Whittaker produced a cross in the 37th that almost led to the opening goal, as Shishio Jinguuji just arrived a moment too late.

"There were a lot of things, I think, that both teams were trying to do, and they kept breaking down in that final third," said Bilbao. "It was difficult for either team to find some space to work."

There was no space to be had until the 51st minute, and it was found by Lyle Dylandy. Whittaker began with a long cross that switched the direction of play. Dylandy brought it down with his chest and was immediately challenged by Darryl O'Sullivan. O'Sullivan overran the play as Dylandy deftly pushed it wide with the outside of his foot, and he started a break. He ran back towards the middle of the field and had help from both Jinguuji and Underwood he feigned a pass into the middle and put it on his left foot for a shot. It dipped just under the diving Martin Kawn and the Wings had a precious 1-0 lead.

"I thought I saw an opening," said Dylandy, who picked up his first goal of the World Cup, fifth including qualifiers and friendlies. "Once I started running, it just felt like the shot was mine."

Ad'ihan pressed the attack immediately after the kickoff, but the Wings withdrew to protect the lead. They knew that it was all they needed to advance, regardless of what was going on in the other game. Captain Anthony Jones tried to make a play by threading a tough pass through to D'Abbo, but Kevin Underwood stepped in the way. He dropped it square for Kazuki Midorikawa, who started a counter. Ad'ihan found itself short of men when Midorikawa hit a long pass for Dan Potts, who had managed to get a step on Richard Flahavan once the ball was hit. He raced onto the ball and pushed it around Kawn, who'd come out of his box to cover it, and swung it back across his body. The ball rolled into the net before O'Sullivan could get to it, and it was 2-0.

The sudden momentum swing noticeably deflated the Ad'ihan attack for a bid. They had certainly looked better for the first hour of the match only to fall behind in two minutes of madness. Francis Yang came on for the ailing D'Abbo to help the comeback bid, and forced a save from Watanabe in the 68th. Jones won a free kick in the 74th that went with a Casey Berber yellow card, but the shot was hit straight into the wall and cleared. Bilbao went with a defensive sub by swapping Anthony Ingram for Brad Leeds.

Dancougar put the game beyond doubt in the 86th, and once again, it was Potts providing the fireworks. This time he ran into a pass from Underwood and stopped in his tracks. His defender went two steps too far and Potts pulled the ball back to his right foot for a shot. Kawn watched it crash into the top corner for a 3-0 scoreline, sparking another frenzied avalanche of Horrible Hand Towels in the Dancougar sections of the stadium. It was Potts' 23rd career goal, putting him in good position to join Jinguuji at the top of the table after another tournament, assuming he keeps up the pace.

The win, combined with the Archregimancy loss, gave Dancougar first place in the group on the first tiebreaker. Ad'ihan finished second, so they will also head into the knockout stage.

Midorikawa confirms Cafundeu move: Midfielder Kazuki Midorikawa, one of the best homegrown players to come out of the D-League, will join Cafundo do Juta next season. The Shuukyuu Kishin player will say goodbye to the three-times Dancougar champs and become the eighth player on the current roster to play in Cafundeu.

Matchday preview: v Bostopia (2-0-1): Bostopia was purring in Group H until they ran into Vephrall on the final day, and even that was a shootout. They lost 4-3 and were shunted to second on the head-to-head tiebreaker, but they should like their chances against the Black Wings. Bostopia has won both previous meetings by a 2-1 score, most recently in the group stage of the last World Cup.

And once again, Dancougar's Bad Mojo Tour continues! One may recall reports from this very publication during qualifying in which we ran with a rumor that Emperor Boston had been incapacitated in a freak tobogganing accident as illustrated by Bill Watterson. We were challenged for our audacity but never retracted the report, although some interns might have been sacked. That happens a lot here.

Bostopia's defense might be their one weak point. They gave up eight goals in the group stage, including four in the last match with Vephrall. Dancougar is riding two straight shutouts after ceding four. But in terms of offenses, Bostopia's is far more explosive. Dancougar's best chance at victory will be to get Dan Potts and Shishio Jinguuji riled up enough to try and outdo one another. They are currently tied at 13 goals apiece since the first friendlies of the cycle last year...

But Bostopia is currently ranked second in the world. Yeeeeah... what happened to those crazy guys who exploded the rubber chickens? Prediction: Bostopia 3-1 Dancougar.

Jeruselem Government News

Radio Man "booze up" in Southern Northland postponed

The much publicized Radio Man promoted "booze up" in Southern Northland was put on hold today. In a practice run, Radio Man held a local booze run in Jeruselem. All was going well but bus driver started drinking and accidently drove the bus off the bridge into the Jordan River today. Most of people in the bus would have drowned and died but they were lucky today. Most of the occupants of the bus were pretty much drunk and would have not been able save themselves.

A Jeruselem navy patrol boat was nearby. The navy boat was operated by mainly female engineers and sailors looking for old sea mines. The girls risked their lives to save the sinking bus to tether the bus to a whinch on the boat to get the drunkards out of trouble. The bus almost struck a loose sea mine but the navy girls destroyed the mine before it could hit the bus.

Captain Dazza Lohan (no relation to Dallas girls) said
"Our divers had to attach cables to the bus axle and hoping the axle didn't snap. Then we had to fire up the whinch and slowly drag the bus in. I think most of the guys in there were alright apart from the driver. We couldn't find him. Unfortunately, we found him later eaten by crocodiles. A sea mine nearby didn't help matters. They were lucky, we were about leave in 15 minutes and they all would have died if we weren't around. The local crocodiles would have feasted too."

Engineer Kaye Knunkers said
"It was a tricky operation. Buses don't float well and it was wobbly all over the place like drunks inside. The bus held up and we could get all guys out of the bus. The stupid bus almost hit a mine which wasn't going be pretty. I think driver tried to swim out but he lost direction and swam into a family of crocodiles."

The booze run in SN will be rescheduled and changed to avoid rivers, lakes, seas, sewerage farms and large walls in light of recent event.

Radio Man said
"We'd like to thank the Navy girls. We used to think girls had no place in the military but today we think they are just as good as the men. Oh yes, I didn't know navy girls were so good looking as well. We're hiring a woman who doesn't drink to drive the bus in SN. We can't trust ourselves not drive a bus into a large body of water now."

A local driver said
"Some idiot threw a Cactus plant out the window from the bus. I suspect they ran over their own Cactus plant which blew the front tyre sending the bus into the river."

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: @ Krytenia 1-2 (@ Adanac)
MD1: vs (46) MSS 3-0 (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Jinhwangdo - 60,000)
MD2: @ (118) Dariusville 2-0
MD3: vs (159) Vlaskin 4-0 (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD4: @ (19) Demot 2-1 (@ Masteron Stadium, Santa Rosa - 78,000)
MD5: vs (31) Krytenia 3-3 (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju - 80,000)
MD6: @ (66) Greal 3-2 (@ Sasha Stadium - 120,000)
MD7: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant 6-1 (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MQ1: vs Taeshan 4-2 (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium, Daebo - 50,000)
MD8: @ (46) MSS 1-5
MD9: vs (118) Dariusville 4-0 (@ Oromokjei Football Stadium, Oromokjei - 25,000)
MD10: @ (159) Vlaskin 1-2
MD11: vs (19) Demot 1-1 (@ Waella Football Stadium, Hanseong - 43,000)
MD12: @ (31) Krytenia 1-0
MD13: vs (66) Greal 3-0 (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD14: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant 3-0

World Cup 43 - Group B
MD1: vs Wentland 0-1 (@ Artani)
MD2: vs Milchama 3-2 (@ White Fortress)
MD3: vs Septentrionia 4-0 (@ Duran Palace)
R16: vs Tynelia (@ The Battleground)


It was 08:43, and a serious car accident was transpiring. A driver who should have perhaps stayed 10 more minutes in bed ran into a bike rack along the edge of the street, sending the contents into the air. The ensuing rainfall of bikes (some with their passengers) inflicted a calamitous sixteen pedestrian casualities, ten vehicles damaged, and 87 minutes of stopped traffic to clean up the mess. At 08:44, a kid was blowing up a balloon while his mischevious siblings thought it would be a great prank to pop the balloon at the same time as he was blowing. The sudden deflation sent shards of rubber into the kid's throat who choked for his life. Were it not for a fortuitous indigestion of an undercooked meal, he would have certainly asphyxiated upon the piece - and out came the choking instrument, along with breakfast. At 08:45, a woman stood atop a bridge contemplating a jump into the murky waters of a re-engineered river. She had a fixed weight upon her ankle, not to burden her fall, but to ensure no second thoughts once she fell into the water. And somehow these events would conspire to bring misery to us. How, you ask?

Seunghwa and Hansu had just arrived at one of the principal administrative buildings of the school. It was the same school where Son Iljun had attended before he left, and though Seunghwa wanted to go to their records to discover where he had gone, she couldn't simply leave her father alone. It was a small school, but it was stuck in the middle of a particularly urban area. The pace were phrenetic, at the chime of the 8 o'clock hour, crowds rushed the area with some objective sense of urgency.

"Aygu!" Hansu said. "They should be more courteous! What if they knocked you down?" He was referring to Seunghwa's frail condition, with her casts still fresh upon her. It wouldn't have been as bad as Hansu implied. The casts were resilient, so anyone who thought to injure her would have to wrestle with a strong fiberglass casing. Of course, the real threat was onnce Seunghwa was on the ground, because her chest was weak after having had weeks of recovery at the hospital.

"We're near the admissions office," Hansu then said, as he looked down the halls with a sense of anticipation. He was expecting to see a sign that explicitly said 'admissions' but to his dismay, it seemed that every sign in the building displayed room numbers. "I think..." he finally conceded.

"May I help you?" a lady asked.

"Yes! We're trying to find the Admissions Office."

The lady smiled as she gave the honest response. "You're in the wrong building. This is the Administration building, but I can take you to admissions. I'm headed that way now."

"What luck!" Hansu said as they began to follow the woman. She looked at Seunghwa's casts.

"She was seriously injured recently..."

"Yes, she was visiting a foreign country and the people there attacked her," Hansu explained. He shook his head in admonition. "People should really be courteous. I can't believe why anyone would do such horrible things to foreigners."

"I can hear you," the lady replied.

Seunghwa stayed silent, hoping to avoid talking about Iljun. The woman and her father continued to talk about various subjects for the short duration. The campus was small, so it was an easy walk to the admissions building. It was hidden behind a palisade of mulberry trees, but doubtless, the aroma in spring would have been spectacular. Seunghwa reflected on that thought, only to think about a good romantic location to meet Son Iljun. She thought about how she should portray her reasons to meet Iljun.

"Seunghwa," Hansu then said. "I'm going with Ms. Kim. She's going to show me around the courtyard. Just wait here." Seunghwa nodded, as she looked at the line. She hadn't noticed exactly how she got to the Admissions office, but she did realize that there was a long line to talk to an Admissions officer. Ms. Kim - the lady who brought them to the office - apparently was showing off the school's prestige to Hansu, who was immediately interested. As an old man who had never seen a real university campus, he was filled with some odd sense of ecstasy - that his daughter would become a better citizen than he was. The deluded man could not help himself from becoming intimate with the institution.

Of course, why was Seunghwa at the admission office? If she was going to continue with this scherade, she was seeking admission, which meant an introductory interview with an admission officer. The admission officer would delineate the requirements for admission, and they would progress together to determine if admission was possible and what the necessary steps were to achieve it. But if Seunghwa was going to be honest, she was there to look for Iljun's records.

As long as the line was, she was surprised that it was a quick line, and before she knew it, she was next in line. "Agasshi, you're next." She looked around, wondering if her father was going to be back in time. The clerk signaled to her to get a move on. "Agasshi, if you don't take your spot, we'll have to move to the next person in line."

Seunghwa nodded, and taking a last glance at the window, followed the clerk. She went through the hall and walked down a few offices until the clerk ushered her into a small and almost cramped office. There a young man greeted her.

"Ah, welcome," he said, bowing to her. "Please come inside!"

Seunghwa was almost pushed in the clerk, but despite the rude behavior demonstrated by the clerk, she was polite to the admissions officer. "Hello."

"I'm Pak Yunnam," the officer said. "I'm here to help you in your graduate inquiry into the one of the Empire's most esteemed institutions. And I'm glad that you've chosen to come here."

Seunghwa nodded. "I am too."

"Well, what's your name?"

"Oh... Min Seunghwa."

"Just a moment." Pak input the name into his database. He began a broad search but found nothing. "It seems that this is your first visit?"

"It is," Seunghwa admitted.

"Well, I'll need you to enter your Imperial Identification Number," Pak then said, offering Seunghwa a pinpad. Seunghwa carefully manuevered her arms to type in her number, which appeared on the screen as a bunch of non-sense symbols to Pak. Once she had finished inputting her identification number, Pak put away the pinpad and started to begin a prompt.

"Well, since it is your first visit, I am going to have to ask some questions. But before we get there, I'd like to know you a little more. First of all, where do you come from?"

"Me?" Seunghwa asked.

"Of course," Pak said. "I like to know where my students come from. It's encouraging to see students come from all around. Most of them come from the Capital, but sometimes, I see students from Shingang, and even the Jonam Islands."

"Well, I was born in Sandong Province, near Jeonjang-sshi. At least that's what my father says. I moved in with my uncle, who lives in Joseon, in Weonsan city. I came to the Capital to live with my father after I had finished my primary education and basic licensate qualification."

Pak nodded. "I can see that you're a Gongsaeng licensate according to your Imperial records. It's better than the basic Saengweon student, but I hope that you realize that the minimial license requirement for admission is Anshu, which is three ranks above your current status." Pak paused for a moment. "Do you think you're ready to bypass those license requirements to take the Anshu examination?"

"I am."

Pak smiled. "That's good. It's not always easy, but if you're ready to affirm it to anyone, you'll be capable of many things. But what about your family? You came from Sandong Province?"

"Well, I grew up in Joseon. My mom died when I was very young, so I have almost no recollection of living in Sandong. I came to the Capital about 10 months ago. And I've been working at my father's establishment. Until it burned down recently."

"Is that where you got the casts?"

"Oh, no. I was watching a ... football match."

"Ah, I see."

"Actually, I do have a question," Seunghwa asked. Her recount of the football match in SNE reminded her of her original mission. "I've heard of this school from a good friend of mine. I'd like to know where he is right now so I can visit him after this."

"I'm not really allowed to look at other student's record without the permission," Pak said. "But, if you're just looking for his room, I can look that up for you."

"Okay," Seunghwa said. She knew that the man wouldn't be able to find Son's room, but at least, it would give her a good reason to go looking deeper. Perhaps, Pak could guide her in the right direction. "His name is Son Iljun."

"I remember that name," he said, smiling. "I don't know from where, but, let's see..." Pak typed Son's name in the school directory. He was surprised when he read the result. "Hmm, I know he goes to our school. But the directory says that he no longer attends the school."

"Oh, why?" Seunghwa said, feigning oblivity.

"I don't know... let me check the student records." Pak said, committing something that he himself said was not expressly permitted. But a quick look wouldn't hurt - I suppose he justified. "It says..."

Seunghwa waited with eager ears.

"It says what?"

Despite the now even more heavy guard given to him, Tobias Raynor had managed to elude the security as he left the Raynor family mansion and head northeast, towards the remains of the old Senate. It was a beautiful night in the capial city, as the full moon shone brightly down upon the grass, almost as if it was illuminating the former Great Leader's path for him. A part of him was very uneasy about having to keep soo many secrets from those he loved and those he trusted, but the rational behind those secrets kept the uneasiness to a minimium. It took a monumental effort and extreme caution when he choose he words after the creation and then merger of the planes between the rest of the world and Valanora. The public needed to be kept pacified and content in the belief that nothing of that kind of trauma would ever wound the nation again. Thus he could not reveal that the Dark Templara had returned, a nation of adapt warriors and assassains looking for justice for all the wrongs that had been done to them and their ancient homeland whilst they were away.

In truth, Valanora, then the ESF, had done much to try to give the displaced Dark Templars a home and keep the few monuments and buildings they had intact. Yet there was always some sort of trouble domestically that thwarted the efforts of even the best historians and Blue Cross workers. Eventually weather, bandits, and a new nation wore away what had remained of the race and their former lands, and things that should have not been forgotten, were lost. There still were a few Dark Templar alive, working for the Dark Bow agency of the Vanorian government, but as the public had no knowledge of the secret police network, most assumed the race forever gone from the face of the planet. Yet Tobias, Colonel Whittaken, and her men all knew the very real truth that they were now back, and perhaps even walking among the citizens, looking for whatever target they could find.

This is why the Great Leader was heading towards those ruins, in hopes that his mirror for the Dark Templar could help him. He knew that there had to be a way for the two nations, or peoples as it were, could live in peace again. Some sort of concenssion or gifts, something of that sort to calm the bad blood that seemed to have risen through the centuries. The broken structure in front of hime gave him all the reasons he needed for at least the hope that he could work out some sort of treaty. The Senate building had long been the jewel of Raynor City, the one building in the navy city that was more beautiful and sophisticated than in anything you could find in Gladerial. It was this building that had convinced the Great Leader CeleKorn Angelotic to move the capital from the Twilight City to the Navy City. Then it was destroyed but agents of Rosemary Angelotic four centuries to the day after it had been completed, in an effort to try and steal the Great Leader seat back from the Raynor family. These ruins were a tribute to the failure of diplomacy and the consquences that such a failure brought.

After finding one of the few benches still remaining unscratched by the devestation of that bombing to sit on, the young elf waited. It was not long after that he noticed a shimmer from inside the rubble and a figure emerge from the shadows to in front of him in a single bound. It was the Prelate of the Dark Templara, Fenadri Del'Thara had come as he had promised he would. Now it was the time for Tobias to show his worth and ability to call himself a Raynor.

T: "Good evening Fenadri, I see you have made it here unnoticed and unharmed."

F: Adun tora das young elf king. I did not expect you to live up to your word. You have surprised me yet again.

T: "So my excape from your clutches at Stormguard had yet to impress you enough eh? I suppose I should remedy that sometime in the near future. Yet that can be handled for another day or another life. I am here because I care for the safety and well being of my people, and I expect that is why you are here as well."

F: That, as well as the justice that must be had for the descreation of our homeland. It is a crime against all that we have ever done to see humans building over our buildings. To see our treaures displayed here and there as tokens of importance. It shames us to no end.

T: "Rest assured that my people did all we could to try and preserve your lands and your history, but we had troubles of our own. Less than a decade ago we stood on the very edge of extinction ourselves. Yet we have recovered, slowly but surely, to once again be whole, can you not do the same?"

F: Yet where would we recover to? We no longer have a land to call our own. All that was ours is now gone and built over by stinking humans who have paid no respect to races that are far older and wiser than they.

T: That is where I can help you my friend. You see, the lands our northwest are unoccupied and under a techniquality, are owned by my government. While the lands are not as big as Valanora herself, they are substantial enough to give you and your people plenty of room to create your nation again. I will happily sign them over to you, on the condition that you pledge yourself to Valanora. I do not want to hand over these lands, and then in a few years when you have built up your forces again, to see you turn around and attack me. If you and your people will swear allegiance, you will have your homeland, what say you?"

F: It is a hard bargain you drive elf king, but it is one that I have little choice in. My people deserve a place to call there own, and if it means that we must be apart of a larger entity to do so, then so be it. The Dark Templara will join Valanora, and protect her borders whenever the need so arises.

Demot Public Broadcasting ~ Switching to Public Announcement

A slender and tall young man with jet black hair stood on top of a balcony in the beautiful capital of Skyhaven at the Imperial Palace. Behind him stood three men in honor guard uniforms, what looked to be a general, and a very the man that everyone had known as Trian Falk, the famed assassain. For some reason, Falk was dressed in the colors of the Imperial family, which left everyone quite perplexed. Finally the man with jet black hair, who was clearly Isador Dominier, the nephew of Matriarch Elizabeth dominier and heir to the throne, began speaking.

"Good afternoon Demot, what a beautiful day it is here in our most marvelous of cities. To live in the sky is one thing, but in such beautiful sourroundings makes ones heart feel as if they are on top of the world. Perhaps we are on top of the world, afterall, we are among the few people who have the know how on successfully having a city in the clouds. Our football team is having a rejuvination that has not been seen since World Cup 38, and we, the Dominiers, have crafted years of untold peace in each generation after the next. We have even had the fortunes of luck of being able to nearly double our land holdings after being able to annex the uninhabited island of Dunmodrian several years ago.

With such a string of good fortune, it was decided that we must now do what we can in order to maintain the comfortable lives that we each have all grown quite accustomed to. That means first protecting our borders with more modern weapons than just the dragon riders and honor guard of the palace. That means finding out information about all our potential enemies, and even our allies. That means doing whatever it takes to make sure that your people and their livelyhoods are not disturbed in the least. To do this, sometimes you have to make deals with characters you would rather not have to have the pleasure of meeting with.

That is why I have called this public announcement. This man, this assassain, Trian Falk, has the sort of information that will help stregnthen the country. Yet we all know of his track record, or at least you think you know of this man's past, but you do not really. I have spent a great deal of time delving into the secrets of his shady and very troubled past, and despite what you may think of him, this is a very honorable man. As a result, he has been, at my recommendation, adopted into the Dominier family by my aunt Elizabeth. He will have no claim to the throne though, but it is now granted a full sweeping pardon for all his offences. Embrace him as you would any other member of our family, and I hope in time you will learn to trust him and his judgement as I have."

End Transmission

Chickens. Rubber hedgehogs. Coffee. Just some of the things that Emperor Boston has talked about while he was supposed to be commentating. Every goal scored by the opposition has been missed and barely noted, the worse excuse being that he was temporarily blinded by a pigeon.

Vephrall's 4 – 3 win over Bostopia allegedly didn't happen, as he claimed “Royal Veto” on the result. Fortunately (or not, depending on how you feel about drawing Dancougar), the WCC doesn't view the Emperor's Royal Veto with much regard, let alone the Emperor.

Efforts have been made to stop the Emperor from commentating, such as super gluing him to his seat, throwing model trebuchets at him and various pranks involving bubble gum, an igloo and a coalface, but these have all proven unsuccessful.

The man risks Bostopia's small but precious global reputation and political standing by making various gaffs, notably by referring to the WCC's First Hierarch as “Fried Carp”.

But, none the less, the man provides us with laughs. Long may he continue!

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/SNpaper.png

Murder disrupts Sorthern World Cup campaign

Following their glorious winless run into the second round of the World Cup, the Sorthern Northland squad today saw their preparations for their loss against Demot thrown into disarray following the violent murder of a member of the Sorthern coaching team.

The incident happened in the early hours of this morning, when team boss Merginn Moffat took his players on a binge drinking session to celebrate making it out of the group stage. Whilst drinking in a nightclub in Gloem, Vephrall, a member of the Sorthern coaching team was seen to get into an altercation with a man dressed up as a banana. Witnesses say the two men exchanged heated words between them, before the man dressed up in a banana suit whipped out a large trout and viciously struck down the Sorthern Northland national team coach. Local police are said to be investigating the death, “if they can find the time to do so”.

An official statement was released on the SNFA website saying “we are aware that an incident involving the death of one of our staff happened earlier today in Vephrall. The man appears to have been allergic to trout, which we believe to be the reason of his death. His family have been informed and have asked us to keep his identity secret. Therefore anyone wishing to know his identity should meet our press officer behind the bins out the back of the SNFA building in Beningrad just after noon. That is all we are prepared to say on this matter for the time being.”

Vephrall Ro16 Results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14227899&postcount=25)

Valanora RPs will continue to count until an unexpected delayed scorination around 4:00 UTC.

Results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14228407&postcount=26) of second round matches in Valanora are now available.

A low-intensity energy blast fanned out from the Dancougar's chest plate, but the wide area of the shot still delivered a lot of power to the intended target. Some of the shot bent around the target as it tried to fan the attack clear, but the main thrust of the attack was from the middle of the Dancougar's chest. There, the power was too strong to turn back. The monster howled and flapped in a panic to raise its altitude. Dead bodies of Gray Sisters fell off as it left, and a dust cloud fluffed out from where it stood.

It finally got airborne and eluded the attack. The shot ended, and Tetsuya looked up to get his bearings. The creature was undoubtedly going to try an attack from above. "Hold on, you guys!" he said. "Here he comes!" The monster hit the high point of its ascension and arched in midair before dive bombing. Tetsuya turned on the hoverjets and maneuvered straight back. The monster began to pull up from its dive to continue to attack forward. Tetsuya immediately cut to the left. The titan could not bank in time and swooped past and back up into the air.

"It's just going to keep coming at us until we can't dodge him anymore!" Daniel shouted.

"I know that!" Tetsuya replied. "What do you suggest I do?" The left arm, which had been Daniel's Liger, was packing the laser cannon. Like the artillery gun on Jun's Cougar, it was mounted on the wrist when in this form. Tetsuya was taking pot shots from the ground, but each shot bounced clear of the creature's turbulent body. "We don't have enough power from here!"

"I have an idea," Daniel said. "Let him drive into you."

"That's crazy!" shouted Jun. "We'll be torn apart!"

"We just have to make sure our relative speed is close, then we can latch on," said Daniel. "Then you hit him with another Dancou-Burn. He's an air-based monster. If you heat him up enough, the gas should expand and break him apart."

"You expect that to actually work?" Tetsuya replied. The creature was preparing another attack run and was gaining speed. "I swear, if giant robots didn't break physics to begin with..." He gritted his teeth and started to maneuver backwards. The monster was approaching and roared at him. Tetsuya reached out and grabbed on the monster's neck. It shrieked as Tetsuya slammed his thrusters forward to try and slow them down. The creature struggled to get free, and the Dancougar rattled from the speed of its swirling internals.

The power core of the Dancougar began to glow white. There it goes again! thought Joe. What does this mean?

"Hit him now!" Daniel yelled. Tetsuya didn't wait for him to finish. The chest plate blasted the creature directly in the head. It was flailing even more violently, but the robot held firm. The dust that was swirling around, the only thing making it visible, was moving faster. The Dancougar was shaking more violently. Just as Daniel said, it finally reached a breaking point. Suddenly, they were shooting at the ground. The wind rushing through the head and neck had gushed out of the body completely, blowing a purple orb skyward. The main body remained on the ground as Tetsuya caught it with the robot's right hand.

"Wow, that actually did it..." murmured Jun, whose head was still reeling from the grappling. "If we study this core, we might learn something about..."

"He's coming back!" cried Joe. Sure enough, the body started to shake as it finally cooled down. A whirlwind formed around the Dancougar's body and the entire body was sucked into it. A howl filled the air and the four found themselves in the center of something resembling a tornado, and it was tugging on the right hand. It wanted its core.

"It lives as long as that core does!" Daniel cried. "It's just like the last one!" Small chips of the Dancougar's armor were starting to pop loose as the wind intensified.

Tetsuya watched the dust whip by. A face was formed directly ahead of him, snarling. Tetsuya glared back. "You want this?" he asked. The hand was getting pulled into the face, but it maintained its grip on the orb. "No damn legend is getting through me!" With that, he crushed the orb in his palm. The face wavered and, with a cry, it disappeared as the whirlwind abruptly ceased, with dust and rocks hitting the ground all around the robot. The battle was over.

********************

"Why has the wind titan been defeated?!" boomed Boldozaa. He stormed into the central cavity of the volcano, where General Gaizok was standing. "Well, I demand an explanation!"

"I don't understand it myself, sire," Gaizok replied.

"Don't you have Nazar spies watching the battle?" Boldozaa challenged. "What do they see?"

"The enemy's iron beasts can take the form of a man," Gaizok replied, "and it can fight with a brilliant white light. Its strength grows when the machines join together."

Boldozaa sneered. "I want to see. Bring a Nazar to me."

One of the dark lord's bumbling imps stumbled into the chamber with a Nazar floating lazily behind him. "My lord, my lord, it is pained!" the imp cried.

Gaizok stormed over to his underling and grabbed him by the ears, sweeping him into the air with one arm. "Tell it to show us the battle!" he ordered.

"It cannot, it cannot!" the imp cried. "It can't see anything but a man in a white room!"

Boldozaa now approached. Gaizok dropped the imp and stood aside, and the imp backed away, scrambling backwards on all fours. The Nazar floated nearby and kept its eye closed tightly. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked. "You, show me this man."

"The Nazar can't talk to his brother, yet the image comes through!" the imp whimpered. "It's unnatural!"

"Show me!" Boldozaa shouted. His voice echoed off the walls. The imp squeaked at the Nazar, who aimed its eye at the wall and opened. Immediately, the image of a white room appeared as promised. There was a human sitting at a table, hunched over some strange-looking devices. Boldozaa took a step back. "W-what does this mean?" he said.

On the other end, his voice reached the ears of the human, because he turned around and stared into the vision. He rotated in his chair and walked over to it, so that he filled the Nazar's viewfield completely. "It's as the imp said!" said Gaizok. "But why can this human see us?"

The man on the other end smiled, as if reaching some sort of understanding. He folded his arms and displayed no fear. "So you are... the legendary dark lord!"

Somewhere in Vephrall ... Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas and a young man, one of Merginn's distant relatives were looking at the cold dead body of Merginn Moffat on a table.

Jacinta: It is a Merginn?
Man: Yes, it's my Uncle Merginn or Uncle Mugging as we call him.
Jacinta: I suppose we have to take him home now.
Man: So sad, he gets something right in his life and someone kills him. In fact, he's a high achiever for our family.

Jacinta: What does your family do well?
Man: Get drunk and act like general idiots, like Southern Northland.
Jacinta: Anything else?
Man: Molest young women?

Jacinta: Explains why most of your family are poor.
Man: Yes, we're a sad lot. A bunch of useless alcholics we are.
Jacinta: I thought we were useless.
Man: Nah, you're different. You have brains and looks, we have ... nothing.

Jacinta: At least Merginn has now raised the standard, a little ...
Man: He is the first to be killed by a guy in a Banana suit.
Jacinta: My mother almost got killed by a banana too.
Man: Dazza? How?

Jacinta: I think she almost choked on a rather hard banana when she was a kid. Err, she was actually eating a banana not practicing something else.
Man: She's not allergic to trout though?
Jacinta: She'll stick anything in her mouth, almost.
Man: I guess we have to ask if I can take Merginn home now. Hang on, I'll need permission to take a dead body from a Jeruselem Embassy official back home right?

Jacinta: Yes.
Man: We don't have an embassy here ...
Jacinta: That's why I'm here.
Man: Oh that explains why I couldn't come here alone. No embassy.

Jacinta: We're going to give him a decent burial.
Man: That's good, we're so poor - we get dumped in used coffins when we die. We can't even afford gravestones, just two sticks with some dodgy paint.
Jacinta: At least Merginn earned some money for the family.
Man: I hope we don't drink it all. What's that?

Jacinta: Merginn's Jeruselem Coach of the Year trophy.
Man: So he never got to get his hands on it.
Jacinta: Well, when he came home we were going give it to him.
Man: So who's going get it now.

Jacinta: You can have it.
Man: No no, I'll just sell it for alcohol. Put in a museum or something.
Jacinta: You lot are sad.
Man: Yes we are.

Jacinta: And one more thing! You've got your hand up my skirt.
Man: Oops, sorry ... bad habits.
Jacinta: Learning from Uncle Mugging I see.
Man: Yes

Official SNFA Statement

Following rumours from an unknown source that have said the Sorthern team coach killed earlier today at the World Cup was Merginn Moffat, and appear to have told high ranking officials from Jeruselem that it is him, we would like to go on record to say he is not the deceased. The deceased was a backroom coach on the Sorthern Northland national team who happened to look a lot like Merginn Moffat, but is not Merginn Moffat.

Mr Moffat is alive and well and drinking to the life of the deceased coach, as well as encouraging our players to do likewise, whilst also drinking to numb the pain of being knocked out of the World Cup by losing 5-0. Once again Merginn Moffat is alive and well, and not the deceased member of the national team's coaching staff.

We apologise to his family, and fans, and to anyone else, for the distress caused by these rumours.

<Later>

Man: It wasn't Merginn?
Jacinta: Well, apparently ... it wasn't ...
Man: But it looked like him. You know, the same scars from fights and stuff.
Jacinta: He was a Southern Northlander.

Man: Oh, so we flew here for nothing!
Jacinta: No, I have Merginn's award here. Let's go see the Southern Northland team and drink with them.
Man: Why not! You're not going get drunk and take your clothes off?
Jacinta: Depends on how drunk I am.

Man: OK, let's go see Uncle Mugging.
Jacinta: I think they'll cheer up when a girl like me shows up.
Man: Well, I like you. I'm not fussy about you being Jewish.
Jacinta: Half-Jewish ...

<In Jeruselem>

Jay Licken woke up with hang over after a party in Jeruselem. He couldn't remember a lot except taking a girl who looked like his wife into bed. He wasn't sure if it was his wife Kate Sallad or any other of the female redheaded Jeruselem team members. His wife Kate Sallad was looking at him, but she was clothed and standing up ... something was wrong.

Kate: Oi, Jay! Wake up.
Jay: Morning, that was a wild night.
Kate: I think you picked up the wrong girl.
Jay: Oh, so it wasn't you ...

Marie: Morning ... hey, what are you doing here.
Jay: I don't know either.
Kate: Jay picked up the wrong bimbo.
Jay: Oops, sorry Marie.

Marie: That's OK, at least I know the person I'm sleeping with.
Kate: Had fun you two?
Marie: Sorry about that Kate. But we are Dallas girls, sharing is caring.
Jay: I think we drank too much.

Kate: Don't worry! I'm just amused.
Marie: Good thing us Dallas girls aren't fussy.
Jay: It didn't help when you two were wearing the same dresses last night.
Kate: Well, you could have picked up Dazza by accident.

Jay: Yeah, that would have been bad.
Kate: Next time, look before you get too enthusiastic.
Marie: This is going to be all over news now.
Jay: They won't care.

Kate: You two look tired.
Jay: I'm going back to sleep.
Marie: Wake me up tomorrow ...
Kate: OK, I'll just leave you two here. I'll take Flak Sho with me for my shopping trip.

Jay: Have fun.
Marie: We'll be fine.

Dancougar News!!
ForumEvent GetRandomEventsFromNationHash("Dancougar") { return new GiantRobotRp("OMG", "WTF", "BBQ"); }

Watanabe's save clinches quarterfinal berth: They're calling it "The Save II." Yuji Watanabe's save of Karl Loewe advanced Dancougar to the quarterfinals for the second time in their history after penalty kicks were needed to settle a 2-2 match with Bostopia. Bostopia are the highest-ranked team the Wings have ever beaten, second in the world following a strong run through qualifiers.

Once again, the Wings needed a shootout to advance in the World Cup. The last time they made it this far was World Cup 40, when Charles DuPont guided them past Yafor 2 in what was his first tournament with the team. The parallels will continue to be drawn after Watanabe's save in that one was the difference in a 5-4 shootout victory that arguably provided the springboard for his international career at Clube Imperial. This time, he had two, but none bigger than the last one on Loewe.

"It felt great then, to get to the quarterfinal, and it feels just as good to get back there," said Watanabe. "It's always feels good when you're able to come out and compete with the best teams in the world."

The Bostopia offense was purring throughout the first fifteen minutes but had no goals to show for it, with Watanabe saving efforts from captain Richard Sadler and Freddie Gronfeld. They broke through in the 23rd minute when Lukas Plecnik received a pass on a break and motored past Casey Berber to get a look at goal. He pushed it low and to Watanabe's left for a 1-0 lead, but it only lasted for three minutes. Dancougar charged right back and scored a familiar goal - Lyle Dylandy swooped a cross into the box with his right foot and Shishio Jinguuji beat the defenders to it. His header went past the outstretched arms of Brian Adder for a quick equalizer.

"We knew it would kill us if we stayed behind for too long," said Jinguuji, who scored his third goal of the finals and fourteenth of the tournament. "Lyle got some room and made a play, and I had to make the most of it because I didn't figure we'd get many."

The Wings came close to taking the lead in the 37th when a bungled clearance fell right to the feet of Dan Potts, who pumped the ball into the side netting from eight yards away. Bostopia also had two more clear chances before halftime, with one shot ballooning over the bar and another finding its way into the mitts of Watanabe from forward Gronfeld. Movement in the midfield was fairly smooth for both teams, but Bostopia could claim more possession in the first half. Anthony Ingram and Kevin Underwood took to falling back to make a five man defense, ensuring that Bostopia would have difficulty creating chances.

The next goal would come in the second half, roughly on the hour mark. Plecnik went one-on-one with Berber and this time the Centralia man held his ground. Plecnik was forced to push the ball wide to Daniel Griff, who beat Sho Yukikaze with a quick cutback. He then ran towards the penalty spot from the goal line looking for help, and when he found none, he got off an angled shot aimed at the far corner. Watanabe saw it late and dove accordingly, watching it settle in the back of the net for a 2-1 lead. This time there would be no immediate response; instead, Bostopia pushed for the third.

The Wings survived the siege and, with twenty minutes to go, brought on Shiro Furuya as a third forward. Alexei Voronzoff was the next sub five minutes later. Potts came close to an equalizer, and then Dylandy grazed the post from 25 yards away. The Wings started to play with more nervous energy and were rewarded in the 81st when the captain, Underwood, found space at the top of the box. He stepped up and took a crack from 14 yards out and Adder didn't even budge. The score stood at 2-2 with ten minutes to go. Neither team could break the deadlock, so it went into extra time.

Dancougar used its third sub in the 103rd minute to bring out the ailing Benjamin Whittaker, giving Simon Rafalski an opportunity to make a play. But he was badly out of sync with the first team and didn't come close to creating any good scoring chances. Plecnik thumped one into Watanabe's grateful hands in the 113th for Bostopia's best chance of extra time, but with the minutes ticking away, the teams started to slow down the pace and resigned themselves to penalties. Loewe had a free kick in the 118th that could've yielded something, but he put it over the bar.

It would go to penalties, immediately conjuring memories of Watanabe's heroics against Yafor 2 in World Cup 40.

The Wings kicked first, and Dylandy took his shot and put it wide right when Adder dove the other way. Gronfeld scored to make it 2-1, and up stepped Berber. The defender took Whittaker's place in the rotation and scored, setting up Watanabe for his first save. It came off of Luke Kanper, who shot left and had it punched clear by Watanabe, which got the Dancougar fans on their feet. Kazuki Midorikawa scored and Sadler missed badly, shooting over the bar, which gave Yuji Watanabe a chance to win it for the Wings.

With fans from both sides on their feet, Dancougar's all-time leading scorer ran up and hit the ball low to the right. Adder got a jump on the ball and dove correctly, smothering the shot and eliciting a cheer from the Bostopian supporters. Up stepped Loewe to send it into sudden death.

"It just felt like it was coming left," said Watanabe. His instincts proved correct. He dove at the same time Loewe struck it and pushed it wide and into the seats to seal the victory.

Quarterfinal preview: v Starblaydia (3-1-1): Yes, Big Purple have played five matches. They needed a special playoff to get past Jeru FC in the group stage, and scraped past Yafor 2 in the first knockout match 1-0. Ranked fifth in the world, Starblaydia will play Dancougar for a third time after meeting them twice in qualifiers.

Dancougar took four points from the former champs in the qualification stage, tying them in the National Stadium and then getting an upset win on the road. It wasn't enough to get past them in the group standings, but it should give them a mental edge. After all, they already know they can beat this team. Of course, they'll need to recover quickly from the Bostopia game if they're to keep the run going, especially since experienced teams like Starblaydia know how to turn up the effort when it gets down into crunch time.

At least we can now saw that qualifying Group 8 was indeed a group of death, with all three teams making it to the quarterfinals. But we'll have no more than two after this one. Shishio Jinguuji will need to get his confidence back after missing that penalty kick if he's to be effective up front, and Yuji Watanabe will have to avoid laying an egg after a superb performance. Prediction: Starblaydia 2 - 1 Dancougar. We keep predicting losses and then the team wins... let's keep that streak alive!

Contrope Shrifflu opened his eyes.

"Wuremaye?"

"Greater Solonds Medical Center. Are you feeling okay?"

"I...uh...maybe. Ienno." Shrifflu, the Vephrall national football team's midfield coach, hadn't quite gotten the hang of speech yet, it seemed. "Why my ear?"

"It was the car accident," said the vague shape in front of him. Looked like it was probably a person, but Shrifflu was momentarily unable to identify him. "There was a high-speed chase on the 408 and the suspect ran right into your side. Had to have been doing at least 150. It's a wonder you're still alive, honestly."

"Halong vye been here?"

"Well, it happened when we were leaving Solonds after the Prux match, and our quarterfinal against Ad'ihan is this evening. So a pretty good while."

"Thsseavning? Shedden I be there, then?"

"No, the doctors have said you still can't be moved." Shrifflu could now finally tell who the man was who was speaking to him: assistant manager Netgorin Ocilla.

"When can I leave?" Shrifflu's voice seemed to become clearer and a bit stronger as he asked this particular question. It was, of course, very important for him. After all, he wanted to be with the team. More to the point, he despised hospitals.

"It's going to be at least a few more days, maybe a week." As Ocilla said this, Shrifflu gained a facial expression indicating severe disappointment. "Anyway, I'm going to have to leave now. Gotta get to Pallona for the match."

"Well, good luck, then," said Shrifflu as Ocilla began to depart. "An' do whuhever you can to get me ouaear, huh?"

Valanora Times
In Time Do We Trust?

It has often been said that only time itself knows the wisdom of actions, as it is allowed the ability to see both the long term and short term results of the actions. A single butterfly not being able to mate because a child caught it for a pet could in fact turn out to cause not only the extinction of that species of butterflies, but many plant life which then could cause our own extinction by extension. What I am trying to say here is that depsite what we may percieve to be an ordinary action that has no consquence whatsoever on anyone but the participating parties could in fact have wide scale implications for good or ill. Whether we like it or not, or are even remotely aware of it, each and every single living thing on this planet is interconnected to the other in some shape or form. All things have a cause and effect in this life, so with the above statements in mind, we must always be acutely aware of the possible consquences of any action that we comtemplate making for both it's present and future effects, but as well as the bigger picture and that is shaped by our actions.

So what does this all have to do with a football match hrmm? I ask you to think about how each and everyone of these individuals made their way onto the national team, think about all the different talents they have, and of course their different personalities and upbringings. Take Ricardinho for example, here is a lad who was not even born in any member state of Valanora, but in the capitalistic (and tax burdened) paradise of Cafundeu. For whatever reasons they might have had, he and his parents came here to Valanora and through that action, and subsequent strokes of fortune, this lad found himself on the Di Bradini Cup squad. He then went on to dazzle the media with his marvelous distrubition and nose for goal as the side somehow made it to the Final, and then had the heart and courage to go out and snatch the Cup, in large part due to this Cafundelense winger. Having now impressed his native homeland, the largest club in Cafundeu (Petardos S/A) offered him a spot on their roster, perhaps trying to convince the lad to declare his senior team loyalities to his birth country. Yet he remained loyal to Valanora, and used his time with one of the best clubs in the world to hone his already impecable amount of talent to where he now just two years removed from his DBC triumph, is on the national team.

It is then ironic that the Marauders' opponents in the Quarterfinals are their regional neighbors in Cafundeu. The two nations are seperated by a mere 48 miles of sea (Between Capri and Cafundeu's most western shore) which will likely mean that they will not be lacking in support, which could easily have been said all of the Marauders' oppenents thus far into the tournament, but I digress. Getting back to my original point though, when one thinks of how small and insignificant the moving of a family from Cafundeu might have seemed to their government has now made it possible where not only is a sensational and talented lad now playing for us, but more importantly is not playing against us. I have no doubt that the Cafundeu side that will take the pitch tommorow evening will be of the highest quality and perhaps the only road block remaining between Valanora and another title, but I wonder how much better they might have been had Ricardinho's family not moved and/or he had declared for them and not us.

Time is trully the only objective judge in this world, or perhaps in the entire universe, and their judgements are long and hard to come by. To try and contemplate those meanings would leave you quite frustrated and no closer to an answer than you were when you began your contemplations. Instead, I think our best course of action is just to be mindful of the decisions we make and let time do what it has been created to do. Come this time tommorow for many of us, we will be glued to our televisions or in pubs with our friends and family rooting on "our team" for whatever reason. That right there is something that time can not explain, and it does not matter, for even us elven kind have learned to accept that not even in what equates to an immortal life can we understand everything. So rejoice in the moment and let your day be a tiny moment in a wonderful and beautiful life so that time has no bearing on your accomplishments.

Valanora 4
Ikles Razov (12, 80)
Calla Soler (41)
Anti Fresco (76)

Wentland 0

Article by Farthian Oracl

Silent But Deadly
Starblaydia slip into last eight

World Champions just two tournaments ago, Starblaydia had seemingly completed a unique ascent from the very bottom to the highest peak of the international game in just twelve years. Their roller coaster trip among the KPBs has seen them everywhere from Unranked (twice) to Number One (once) over the past century-and-a-bit, with three World Cup trophies to call their own.

'Win a third World Cup by the fiftieth edition' was the mission, plain for all at the Starblaydi Football Association to see. They had ten attempts in front of them, starting with the massive boost that co-hosting the entire World Cup 40 tournament (Baptism of Fire, World Cup and Cup of Harmony, not to mention the Di Bradini Under-21 Cup) , to gain that pinnacle of success. Lo and behold they went and did it at the very next try in World Cup 41, confounding all the critics, pundits, fans and mystics to take the title, beating the best two teams in the world at that time on the way. Starblaydia was on a high, and there was nothing to bring them down until the Second Round of the following tournament, where Candelaria And Marquez got the better of them, with Valanora making up for defeat at Starblaydi hands four years previous to take their second crown.

Somewhere, though, somehow, the footballing bug was cured. Starblaydia competed in the 24th Atlantian Oceania Confederation of Association Football Cup - defending their title - and made it all the way to the final with the barest of whimpers from the media. A defeat to age-old rivals Lamoni in the final provoked: precisely nothing. Where was the passion? The intrigue? The perennial style of arrogance, hope and humility?

Did the media not care? Of course they did. Did the public not care? Of course they did. Did the players not care? Of course they did. There are, simply, more important things to worry about. A global economic downturn, for one. Nations vanishing from the face of the earth left, right and centre. National leaders sitting in their parliaments and palaces twiddling their thumbs wondering quite what the hell was going on. The football would always be there, in the back of our minds, providing a little escape from modern life and its trials and tribulations, here in 2086 (by the Starblaydi calendar). So much has happened since we began playing this game on the international stage that it's hard to keep up. There are more national teams around now who this reporter doesn't know the first thing about than there have ever been. Yet more we know oh-so-many things about, but will never see their like again. Brazillico. Rejistania. Giant Zucchini. Vilita. Bedistan. Audioslavia. Melmond. NEWI Cefn (and all the other versions of) Druids. Fmjphoenix. Total n Utter Insanity. Ariddia. There are many, many more, of course, and the Starblaydi Football Association, its national team, the players, the fans, the officials, the ministers - nay, the people - are all willing, hoping against hope, that the distinctive purple-clad nation of Starblaydia will not be a name added to that list.

Starblaydia next play Dancougar, a team that has not only done extremely well to get this far, but also has the edge over Starblaydia in Qualifying. Both teams were in Group Eight and, apparently, the two games between them resulted in one win for Dancougar and one draw with honours even. So, the recent form on this one points to Dancougar, but the timeless class, of course, points to Starblaydia (Though we do say so ourselves - Ed.). In football, as in life, anything can happen, and we will see who makes it to the last four tomorrow.

Demot Daily ~ Craziness Times Five!

It's all a bit odd aint it? Nothing is going quite according to script these days, what with a freaking assassain being adopted by the royal family, and the Dynamo are in the freaking Quarterfinals of the World Cup! This must be crazy land my friends, this was not supposed to happen at all. Sure many suspected we might bounce back strong after such a wretched performance in last tournament's Proper stages, only narrowingly stealing a win against Tynelia on the last day of the group stage, but no one thought we were anywhere near close to being just a game away from the Semifinals. Even me, ever the optimist about all things concerning the Dynamo thought for sure that they would win a game or two, even maybe get to the Round of Sixteen, but we did not expect to be in the Quarters. No sir, we did not and in fact, it might had been better had we not made it, some writers might stil have jobs, haha!

To say that Rotherwell has been the catalyst for the squad is an understatement, but it is the only proper adjective for the Turkish striker. He simply has the team on his shoulders right now, much to the chagrin of his club, and is taking them through oppenents like a hot knife through butter. His hattrick in the space of six minutes against Sorthern Northland just showed how dangerous the man is when he hits his top form, as he has been through this tournament. While Roma and Flintus are both top caliber strikers on their own right, they simply can not compare adequetely to the young man from Druidinian. I expect that he will be remember much like Ysman, Black, and Masteron are once his playing days are over, here and abroad.

So what to do with this unexpected success but hope to ride it to whatever fortunes come our way. It is true that we face the toughest of the challenges in getting to the Final, as we have the cohosts of Vephrall in our quarter, and then either the Purple Peril of Starblaydia or the mightly good upstarts in Dancougar. Either squad will be a challenge for the Dynamo, but this side seems to be hitting stride at the right time, much like the side that finished second in World Cup 38, losing to the now lost nation of Az-cz. Perhaps luck is on our side and we might yet again find ourself in a Final, but for the moment, I am proud to call myself a Dynamo supporter whatever the outcome of this or future matches might be.

Demot 5
Julius Rotherwell (33, 35, 39)
Toni Flintus (37)
Insaki Roma (60)

Sorthern Northland 0

Article by Rich Baker

Vephrall Region Quarterfinal Results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14233594&postcount=27)

Dancougar News!!
Friggit, I had the robot's "to be continued" planned for two games ago!!

Purple imperiled; Dancougar to semifinals: Dancougar vs. Lovisa for the World Cup title? It could happen.

The Wings won a qualification group 8 rematch against Starblaydia 2-0 last night to advance to the semifinals, their deepest run in their short history. The team is now assured of at least two more matches, one of which they hope will be the championship. But they will have to deal with Demot, conquerers of co-hosts Vephrall, first. Coach Solomon Bilbao says the team is enjoying the taste of success, but needs to approach every match with the same do-or-die emotion.

"Whenever you're in a competition, you eventually get to the point where mistakes start getting costlier and costlier," he said. "This is definitely one of those points."

"It can be a little intimidating, you know, when you look at the teams you're up against, all the history, and you realize that you're going to become a part of that," said goalkeeper Yuji Watanabe. "But we also want future generations of this team to look back and say that the guys in 43 had something special, too."

One game after Kevin Underwood got Dancougar's 250th international goal in all competitions, Dan Potts scored a big one that pulled them closer to World Cup glory. It came in the 11th minute after an excellent string of passes starting in the midfield. Ultimately, Benjamin Whittaker squared it for Kazuki Midorikawa, who threaded a pass in between two defenders to Potts, who struck it with his first touch into the near post and in. The accuracy of the shot had to be critical, with the Starblaydi goalkeeper tracking him all the way. It was a dream start for the Wings, who had a 1-0 lead and the adoration of their traveling fans, who waved their black Horrible Hand Towels throughout the match.

The Wings kept the pressure on, applying the lessons learned from two qualification matches against Starblaydia. Midorikawa forced a save in the 24th, and in the 28th, a corner kick led to a Jinguuji header that went over the bar. Squandered chances, perhaps, but they set up the team's second goal in the 35th. Midorikawa fed it to Underwood, who attempted to find one of his forwards. The Purple defense tightened and betrayed no gaps, so Underwood pushed it wide to Dylandy. Dylandy brought the ball inside and had space for a shot. He lifted one over the defenders aimed at the far post, and the goalkeeper took a swipe at it as he realized the danger. It dipped down and in to make it 2-0 on his second goal of the finals.

"You know, whenever I see space like that, I just want to hit it," said Dylandy. "I've got a lot of confidence in this foot, so if I get a look, I'll have a go." He scored the opening goal on the last day of the group stage against Ad'ihan with a similar shot.

The second half was a nail-biter, with Starblaydia immediately shifting to a more high-octane attack. The Purple Peril, only two cups removed from a championship run, had the collective memory of their strength and success behind them. Watanabe was tested right out of the gate and had to make two saves in the first five minutes of the second half. Bilbao, coming down with the jitters, swapped Midorikawa for defender Brad Leeds, switching to a more defensive 4-4-2. This only gave Starblaydia more room in the midfield to develop their attacks, pinning the Wings farther and farther back in their own third.

The spark that gave them the lead was gone, and now it was all about pack-the-middle defending. Musashi Yamada was warming up to provide a more domineering presence in center defense, and he came on for Milan van der Horst in the 63rd. It was here that the awareness of Casey Berber and Underwood, two of the Wings' most reliable players, proved crucial. They cut out many a pass that would have otherwise resulted on shots at Watanabe's goal. The third substitution came in the 74th, with Lyle Dylandy giving way to Simon Rafalski. He earned the applause of the Wing faithful, and the team went right back to work preserving the lead.

Watanabe faced a flurry near the end, with several direct balls leading to several nerve-racking clearances and shots at goal. But those shots became more and more errant as the seconds ticked away, and Watanabe went from diving for a dramatic punch to standing back and watching the ball sail wide. When the referee's whistle blew after two minutes of stoppage, the Wing bench erupted with cheers that the men on the field could barely reciprocate, with their energy reserves having been depleted chasing the speedy Starblaydia attackers throughout the entire second half.

Semifinal preview: v Demot (5-0-0): We thought Bostopia would be the Wing's stiffest test of the tournament. Then we had to check ourselves and revise our estimates, saying that it was actually battle-hardened Starblaydia that would end the Wings' run. Third time's the charm, right? The Wings will go up against a Demot team that have yet to lose in the World Cup. These guys... oh man, these are the guys.

They're 18th in the world, close to our 22, but they're tournament tested. They were finalists in World Cup 38, one tournament before Dancougar's debut. The round of sixteen match with Southern Northland was a rout, a 5-0 result that saw Julius Rotherwell score a hat trick in only six minutes. An offense with that much explosive potential absolutely must be kept under wraps, so it's imperative that Casey Berber rests up during the off days so he can lead the defense. The slightest miscue could lead to disaster. Their 2-0 win over Vephrall shows their ability to hang tough in a close game, and it was their third straight shutout.

The Wings will certainly have to be bullish to defeat the Dynamo. Lyle Dylandy expects to command attention from the Demot defense. Also, only once in the finals have Dan Potts and Shishio Jinguuji both scored in a match. They'll need to both make the most of their chances in case they get into a shootout, which the Wings usually aren't equipped to win. Prediction: Demot 2 - 0 Dancougar. We see no reason to stop predicting to losses when we keep being wrong.

========================================

The pilots were pilling about the hanger after their machines were stashed. The lack of ammunition had forced a retreat after defeating Goliath 2, otherwise they would have pressed their advantage on the defeated demon lord. In the corner, engineers swarmed over Freya 1, which had suffered some major internal damage despite looking only a bit scratched.

Erica clasped her hands and bowed. The others were taken aback; they didn't know how to respond as their princess stood before them. "I'm sorry," she said. It was forceful, but not harsh. She repeated it, bowing first Russ and Peter, then to the beast machine pilots, and then to the Angels.

"Hold up, what's all this...?" Tetsuya asked.

Erica stood up with a sad look on her face. "I forgot the most important thing... I sent you all into a battle without thinking clearly. I didn't understand enough about the enemy to make a good decision."

"Sheesh, don't worry about it!" Tetsuya replied. "We beat it, didn't we? And besides, you were right when you said we can't sit around. We may as well..."

"No. I'm wrong! I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I'm wrong!" Erica yelled, shaking her head. Her ponytail whipped from side to side. "You went out of duty, but did you really want to put your neck on the line for a battle like that? I was so mad that I lost sight of what was sensible!"

Tetsuya turned his face aside and grunted. "Hmph, well, that's your call, your highness," he said. "But I don't know what's worse... a leader who isn't sensible or a leader who can't take a hold their stance."

"Tetsuya, you..." Jun began.

Erica was starting to get mad again, but Daniel walked up to his sister and put an arm on her shoulder. She instantly snapped back to attention and turned to face him. Daniel shot Tetsuya a dirty look. "That's enough, you've made your point," Daniel said. "Erica, it's true that you can't let your emotions get the best of you, but once you've taken a position, you should commit to it, whether you're right or wrong."

"But if I'm wrong, how can you follow me?" she asked. "How can you trust me? Chase said that..."

"It's the leader's job to make their subordinates believe in them," said Russ. They all turned. He was embarrassed by the attention and looked at the floor. "That is..." There was an awkward pause. "So, it's impossible to make the right decision all the time. And sometimes, a wrong decision can turn into a right one, if you manage it correctly. If you keep stringing us along half-heartedly and continue to doubt yourself, then we're doomed. But Tetsuya believed that we could win, and even if that was a reckless battle, now we have a better idea of their baseline strength and recovery rate. If we plan accordingly, you can turn this around, easy."

Inoue walked up to the princess and held out her hand. "So let's not worry about it now," she said. "You've learned something that none of us could have taught you. I'd say that the operation was a huge success, commander."

Erica looked at Inoue and smiled, grasping her hand. Jun and Daniel stood back and looked relieved. "I'm glad that... I mean..." Erica began. She took a step back and saluted. Everyone saluted back. "Everyone, thank you for your good work!"

The pilots meandered out of the hanger. Joe wandered over to one of the engineers and pulled him aside. "Hey, this has been bothering me for awhile now, but did you guys do anything to the Mammoth before the trials were scheduled?" he asked. "The power core is behaving a lot differently, and the energy signature is different."

The engineer looked at his clipboard and tipped his cap upward. "Huh, so they didn't tell you guys?" he asked. "Colonel Brandenstein had some of his guys install a new core before the trials; heck, that's why they were scheduled in the first place. Although I'd say it passed the field test!"

New power source? From Brandenstein? wondered Joe. Why wouldn't anyone mention that if it was so important?

General Duke stood over the wall as the gate creeked loudly as it was pulled open and the billion or so Dark Templars began to file out into the Northwest. The lands that would soon be there home were nothing but wild and untamed habitation apart from the road that made it's way to this gate. He never thought he would see the day that the Templars would return, and if they were to, that they would align themselves with the elves after the stories he had heard about their former relations. Yet here in a cool and breezy afternoon north of Turbani, at the Northwest gate entrance, the Dark Templar were leaving his lands to make their own nation again, right next to his own. Somehow Tobias had gotten Fenadri Del'Thara to pledge his and his people to the Vanorian government. Still, he was troubled by the fact that these assassains were being allowed into the country without so much as a vote in the Senate to decide if the benifits outweighed what seemed like a significant risk. He had full confidence in Valanora's ability to defend itself should the Templars go rogue, but just on the principle of being somewhat democratic, a vote should have been had before the Raynor lad just brought in a new country to the fold.

His aide, a rather short elf with auburn hair that was covered up by a toboggan, had two cups of hot chocolate in his gloved hands as another bone chilling breeze picked up from the north. Both of their eyes were looking at the mass of bodies slowly moving in from the south as he handed the General his beverage and took a sip of his own. As the special blend of the warm drink glided slowly down his throat, he heard the good General let out a sigh and took one of those nervous glances down at his watch.

"Say General, what's got you down? If you don't mind me saying so sir, you see a tad unsettled this morning. I know it's blisttering cold up here compared to the south, but surely you can adapt?"

"Ah lad, if it was only this forsaken weather that was bother me this morning and not the numerous things that are attacking my brain for rhyme and reason. I know we have used the Templars on special assignments before and they have done their job quite well, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that they can not be trusted, at least not to the extent that we welcome them with open arms into our country. Then we are giving them our lands to recreate their country. For what I ask you, why are we going soo far out of our way to accommidate these exiles? What is it that Tobias sees in these people that he is willing to share our rescources and secrets."

"You, you of all people are questioning the motives of Tobias Raynor? For as long as I remember, you have always been a staunch supporter of the Raynor family, espicially the young lad. And now, after centuries of support, you are question his moves? This is quite surprising sir, and it simply does not seem to be something that you would do. Are you feeling alright?"

"Ah the trust is shaken and firmly so, as the lad has become more and more independent in his decision making. If you are going to do this, consult your advisors, even if they give you advice that you will not heed, at least seek it. He did the same with the barrier two years ago, just announced to the whole world what was going on here without even taking any type of advice from me or his other advisors. I don't like it one bit, not a single bit. After always being consulted by the previous Great Leaders on nearly every single massive decision that they have made, and then now to be cut out of consultation rightly irritates me. The worst part about it is that he is not even the Great Leader anymore, it's his wife, but he is still acting as if he has the power."

"Sounds more like you are upset that you are losing your say in the governmental happenings than the actions of Tobias. Could it be that your ego has blinded you to the truth and you are afraid of losing your power."

"Watch the Templars and make sure nothing fishy happens. I need not answer to a mere aide..."

Demot Daily ~ Two to Celebrate?

Two games, two oppenents, three possibilities matchups, and four possible results are all that are left for the Dynamo here in the Forty-Third World Cup. A heroic victory over the cohost in Vephrall sees the Orange, Red, and Black now on the verge of repeating that mircale run that they did in World Cup Thirty-Eight. Despite what has felt like an enternity, it has been just ten years ago that the Dynamo had their best ever finish, under the management of David Masteron. It has been a very historic and memoriable ride for the Dynamo and their supporters as they have arrived here in the semifinals. In reaching this point, they become the first side to reach this stage of the tournament as their former colonial masters, the Elves of Valanora. It is a feat that the parent/puppet nations such as Vilita/Turori, SLANI/JSY, and The Monks/The Holy Empire have never achieved, and will let Demot claim a small piece of history. Just as notable is the fact that despite the odds, the Dynamo have only lost once between the Proper and Qualfication stages of the tournament, and that was in The Han Empire. This mirrors the run identicaly that the Dynamo of World Cup 38 achieved.

So how did the Dynamo get past the Vephrese who held all the advantage playing in their own country? It started with the backline refusing to give an inch the Vephrese strikeforce, clearing ball after ball that came towards them. Then the midfield streched the play wide letting the three headed monster of an attack to make penetrating runs. Yet for all that, the sides were nil nil with five minutes left in the half. That's when a touch of magic from Nikali Zubo that would spring a goal for the red clad men. For the first time this tournament, a person from the backline scored a goal. The Petardos S/A wingback took the through ball and deliverred a volley with the poise of a forward that left the keeper shouting at his defenders for better marking.

It would not take another forty minutes to get the second goal of the game in the second half, but just a mere twelve. This time it was Janai Dunne coming down the middle Umsaasad Jehoepe. As his oppisition tried to shove him off the ball, he slipped it out to Readile coming down the wing. The lady took it and continue forward before sending in a cross towards the six yard box at the far post. Lockdale would rise above Minanad to flick it on for Rotherwell to easily lift above Filler to double the lead and take the heart out of the Vephrese supporters. The hosts thought they had cut the deficit in half when Boimoks chipped Theros, but the linesman waved it off, saying that the midfielder had handled the ball as he brought it down.

There was a furious attack in the last fifteen minutes by the hosts, trying desperately to force extra time. Yet the key substitutions of Iganci in for Roma and Warsin for Flintus made it near impossible for the oppsition to get anything through the middle of the field, letting Theros dominate his area as the crosses came in. The 18,000 supporters that had come from the southwest part of AO here to the east cried in jubilation as referee gave the final whistle, as their beloved national team had just made it to the semifinals of the World Cup.

Now that they are there, they face a Dancougar side that has made a name for itself. First they toppled Newmanistan, Lovisa, and Starblaydia in their World Cup Qualifying matches to make it to the Proper themselves. Then they used some intence detirmination and a bit of luck to escape through the group. Luck was called on again as they downed the number two team in the world in penalties before stinging the Purple Peril into submission. The one thing that can be taken against their ascent is that their defensive organization has been lapse at time. With the kind of attack that the Dynamo have, that could prove to be the tipping point in what appears to be an even kiltered match. Not taking any chances, Renário has had Rotherwell, Flintus, Roma, Zubo, and Jonas all praticing their penalty taking while Theros on his stopping of the spot kicks. If it should come to that, the Dynamo hope to have the upper hand, but it will trully just be a matter of luck.

Demot 2
Nikali Delaruse (43)
Julius Rotherwell (57)

Vephrall 0

Article by Sextus Ontelio

This is the RP cutoff for Both semifinals.

Queen Kate and an unhappy Princess Marie-Antoinette

Kate: Cheer up sis, it's not all bad.
Marie: I reckon we could have made the semi-finals.
Kate: Hey look, there is always another cup.
Marie: But we wasted a chance! I know we could have done better.

Kate: Lovisa did beat Tynelia.
Marie: That could have been us doing that.
Kate: Never mind Marie, sold the Ferrari yet?
Marie: No, everyone is cheapskate especially those Jews.

Kate: What do you want for it?
Marie: 450K minimum, the new Porshe isn't going to be cheap.
Kate: So who's got the best offer.
Marie: Kara has offered 400K

Kate: Give to her to 425K.
Marie: Stupid idiots think it's just an ordinary F40. It's not. It's really

tripped up with everything.
Kate: I think Kara will take for 425K
Marie: I'll ask her.

Kate: I heard you had sex with Kate Sallad's hubby.
Marie: It was an accident.
Kate: Me and Jacinta were accidents.
Marie: Isn't most of our family accidents too.

Kate: Most of us.
Henry: Aunty Marie, I want to go for a drive.
Kate: My son is bored.
Marie: You want to go fast?

Henry: Yes, I like going fast.
Marie: I see he's going to be leadfoot like us.
Kate: Well, where do you want to go?
Henry: Aqualand.

Marie: I heard he likes the surfing there.
Kate: That's not from me, must his Dad.
Henry: I'll go get my stuff (runs off)
Marie: I'd better get my bikini then. They don't like me being naked there.

This is a link you can click, and it's probably a horrible idea... (http://sites.google.com/site/nsdancougarfoo/Home/dancougar_still_alive.mp3)

It was a triumph
I'm making a post here, huge success
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
Dancougar Black Wings
We play the games because we can
Hoping Margaret likes us just a little bit more
But there's no use crying over every defeat
You just keep on writing till the mod hits delete
Even though we feel the pain
We will try to entertain
All the teams here who are still alive

I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
Even though the shootout was a downer
We took it to OT
And then traded goals to wow the crowd
But as that last PK went through, I was so happy for you
Now these goals against us make a beautiful tape
It's the reel we'll study for a future escape
So it's good we got burned
Since it helps if we return
With the spirit to still be alive

The stadium's quiet
The fans with the towels are still inside
Maybe there's another sport we're good at
Maybe the World Bowl
That was a joke, haha, fat chance
Anyway, this post is long, and it's a ripoff of sorts
Look at me still singing when there's roleplays to write
If I don't get cracking I'll be at this all night
There are legends to be made
And there's games left to be played
By the top teams who are still alive

But believe me I'll still be alive
I'm playing football and I'm still alive
I feel fantastic and I'm still alive
And as you're reading this I'm still alive
And if you're listening, I'm still alive
Still alive
STILL ALIVE!

3PPo Result (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14240512&postcount=31)

Dancougar News!!
See you in WC 44!

The final recap! First was the semifinal with Demot, and this match was so tight, that ninety minutes weren't enough. And even though goals would come in overtime, thirty minutes weren't enough! The fans were treated to another dramatic PK shootout, and in the end, the Wings were finally out of luck:

[22] Dancougar 1 v 1 [18] Demot
38 - Whittaker (DAN)
56 - Rotherwell (DEM)
2 v 2 AET
96 - Flintus (DEM)
117 - Midorikawa (DAN)
2 v 3 PK
Potts x x Roma
Dylandy o o Dunne
Whittaker x o Rotherwell
Midorikawa x x Flintus
Jinguuji o o Zubo

So it was off to the third place game against Lovisa, a team which Dancougar had defeated twice during Group 8 qualifying. Lovisa, still reeling from an 8-0 thrashing by Valanora in the other semifinal, were unable to mount any challenge, and Dancougar coasted to a third place finish.

[22] Dancougar 4 v 0 [28] Lovisa
6 - Jinguuji (DAN)
14 - Jinguuji (DAN)
62 - Dylandy (DAN)
77 - Voronzoff (DAN)

Enjoy it now, sports fans, since it may be awhile before the Wings are able to put together another run like this. But you can expect Solomon Bilbao and several of the team's current players to be back in World Cup 44 to make another run at the title. Here are your goalscoring leaders for the 43rd edition. We'll see you next time!

Tot Player WC Qua Frd GW
16 Shishio Jinguuji 5 11 0 3
14 Dan Potts 4 9 1 5
7 Lyle Dylandy 3 3 1 2
7 Benjamin Whittaker 1 6 0 2
6 Kevin Underwood 1 5 0 2
4 Kazuki Midorikawa 1 2 1 0
2 Anthony Ingram 1 1 0 0
2 Alexei Voronzoff 1 1 0 0
1 Casey Berber 0 1 0 0
1 Shiro Furuya 0 1 0 1

And as promised, giant demon-slaying robots shall return...