NationStates Jolt Archive

The moon sinks under the horizon and a new day dawns.

Welcome to the 43rd World Cup

Valanorahttp://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/wc43logo.pngVephrall
World Cup 43


The countdown to Wolrd Cup 43 has begun as Valanora comes off of its' second title by hosting its' second tournament. Every nation is now gunning for the Navy, Black, and Green in hopes that they may write their place in footballing history. First they must earn passage to either Valanora or Vephrall, and from there on, anything can happen. Good luck to everyone!

Finals Groups (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14199945&postcount=500)

Qualifying Groups

GROUP 1
(55) Kosovoe (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14126259&postcount=26)
(39) Taeshan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14110938&postcount=5)
(165) Panuul (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14135787&postcount=48)
(15) Wentland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14148257&postcount=54)
(3) Capitalizt SLANI
(135) Docky
(35) Yafalonia and Bazor 2 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14127168&postcount=30)
(100) Linpada

GROUP 2
(95) Thoughts of Randomness
(57) West Zirconia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14134392&postcount=40)
(37) Prux (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14111962&postcount=6)
(33) Kelssek (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14112069&postcount=8)
(18) Yafor 2
(124) Bushdome
(165) United Island Empires
(12) Tynelia

GROUP 3
(58) Arroza (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14134590&postcount=41)
(165) Viltek (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14125973&postcount=25)
(4) Bostopia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14122384&postcount=19)
(13) Bazalonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14127125&postcount=29)
(124) Kjomasasopia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14128205&postcount=32)
(34) Jeru FC (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14120058&postcount=16)
(101) The Islands of Qutar
(51) The Macabees

GROUP 4
(50) Terreiro de Ogum (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14117526&postcount=15)
(6) Milchama (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14136537&postcount=50)
(71) Magnus Valerius
(68) Liventia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14128336&postcount=35)
(165) Miroxia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14113077&postcount=11)
(32) Quakmybush
(14) Ad'ihan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14128311&postcount=34)
(165) Australiah

GROUP 5
(26) Az-cz
(64) Cokenia
(20) The Holy Empire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14134788&postcount=44)
(165) Swilatia
(89) Urna Eletrônica (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14125591&postcount=23)
(137) Tortuga y Hispaniola
(9) Qazox (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14110755&postcount=4)
(38) Blouman Empire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14140025&postcount=52)

GROUP 6
(10) Daehanjeiguk (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14127916&postcount=31)
(31) Krytenia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14123774&postcount=20)
(118) Dariusville (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14134649&postcount=42)
(66) Greal (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14112630&postcount=9)
(159) Vlaskin
(165) Seventy Ninth Entrant (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14145833&postcount=53)
(19) Demot (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14122019&postcount=18)
(46) Magna Sancta Sedes (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14136238&postcount=49)

GROUP 7
(22) Jaseuyeon
(60) An Blascaod Mór (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14135556&postcount=46)
(25) Sorthern Northland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14133188&postcount=38)
(137) Valetaland
(83) Nethertopia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14110190&postcount=3)
(5) The Archregimancy (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14134738&postcount=43)
(48) Green wombat (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14112016&postcount=7)
(165) Onimar

GROUP 8
(23) Dancougar (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14116931&postcount=14)
(29) Lovisa (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14126808&postcount=27)
(165) The Bostopian Empire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14133060&postcount=37)
(123) Alversia
(7) Starblaydia
(42) Newmanistan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14128230&postcount=33)
(82) Myedvedeya (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14133736&postcount=39)
(59) Glaycia

GROUP 9
(56) Kenavt
(143) Deceased Writers Guild
(17) Kura-Pelland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14138500&postcount=51)
(45) KaMaRi
(165) Chutnusak (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14125657&postcount=24)
(28) Septentrionia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14116897&postcount=13)
(89) Secristan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14131123&postcount=36)
(11) Jeruselem (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14120067&postcount=17)

GROUP 10
(165) Saturday Sport (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14135576&postcount=47)
(21) Candelaria And Marquez (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14134815&postcount=45)
(95) Cassadaigua (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14125097&postcount=21)
(30) Rennidan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14109837&postcount=2)
(143) Colbourne (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14112965&postcount=10)
(54) Land de Wood
(53) Universitus University
(8) Cafundéu (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14116535&postcount=12)

SCHEDULE OF MATCHES
MD1: 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5
MD2: 3v1, 8v2, 7v4, 6v5
MD3: 1v5, 2v4, 3v8, 6v7
MD4: 7v1, 6v2, 5v3, 8v4
MD5: 1v2, 3v7, 4v6, 5v8
MD6: 4v1, 3v2, 7v5, 8v6
MD7: 1v6, 2v5, 3v4, 7v8
MD8-14: the reverse of MD1-7

Hosts
Valanora (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14127098&postcount=28)
Vephrall (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14200919&postcount=55)

Links
Bid Details (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=565454)
Schedule (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14127633&postcount=23)
World Cup 43 Sign Ups (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=565560)
Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=569449)
Discussion Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=536285)
Baptism of Fire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=568785)

QNN
Where News Happens

"This just in to the QNN studios, Qazox has now overrun 89% of Moonkins, and reports are that the Moonkin Army has all but surrendered to Qazoxian General Hoyt J. Kacin. Just 4 days into this conflict and Moonkins, supposedly the most effective military force of the Northern Allicance, has been almost completely crushed. Preliminary reports coming in from that region estimate that so far 15,700 Qazoxian troops have died in the conflict, with over 56,000 either wounded or MIA. On the Moonkins side, their military force (pre-war) of just under 215,000 troops, 650 Q-1 tanks, 80 Q-14 fighters, 150 QH-32 helicopters and 250 QB-2 bombers; is now down to an estimated 38,000 troops with all but a handful of tanks destroyed and their airforce is down to less than 30 fighters and 20 bombers.

On other fronts, Green wombat and Prux, have continued to declare their neutrality and have asked WA troops to commandeer their border patrols. On the isle of Wickedable, Sativaville now control the San Jo-se nuclear facility and have overrun the post city of San-an-ton-ino. Wickedable's president, Nat-han Jo-nes has called for a 48-hr cease fire, but President Cheech Chong of Sativaville has refused to talk, until the other Nuclear facility on wickedable, the Los An-gel-es facility is either in Sativaville's possession or destroyed by other means.

In Poolshrimpers, Piscodemons and Insaneindahead, Taeshan continues to ravish the countryside, but consistant reports are spotty at best, after Insaneindahead's 2 EMP bomb attacks on the 16th.

Stay tuned to QNN for more news as it happens.

WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Continued

Can you really call the complete manhandling of 3 countries by the brute force of the Taeshnai Air Force, and Navy Seals as a war. The Taeshani Corps have been pillaging all over the countries of Piscodemons, Insaneindahead, and Poolshrimpers. There armies don't even seem to care as the Taeshani corps led by Major General Maxwell Might of the Taeshani Air Force, Major General Colby Pierce of the Navy, and Lieutenant Greg Fredrenchi of the Taeshani Navy are Raping, pillaging, and utterly deystoying there countriside. This note has seem to wandered out of there presidents grsp. Of course presidents Bush, Bushyier, and Bushiest seem to not care. Hmm maybe they want to be taken over.

The phone rang. Perhaps it was to tell Security that some egit dressed like the Emperor was tobogganing down the stairs. Or of course there was the possibility it was the second time the phone had rang, this time to tell Security to disregard the first call as it was the Emperor in a toboggan, tobogganing his merry way down the stairs and through corridors. Of course, he hadn't the foresight to remember that in the last corridor he'd come across, the door to the basement levels was rather bolted shut, and he would bounce off it unexpectedly (going round a corner at about 20 miles per hour in a toboggan to find a bolted door would be rather unexpected really) and crash through another door into Security's office.

Fortunately, being a Friday, and lunchtime, the whole of security had gone on their lunchtime jolly to the pub, so the place was rather empty when the Emperor managed to find his bearings – helped enormously by a sign in his lap that said “Security Office” which had previously been affixed to the door. Either way, the Emperor was thankful no-one ever invaded on a Friday (especially Candeleria And Marquez, who had been far too quiet for far too long now), and he had a phone to answer.

“Hello, Security Office?”

“Is that Barry?”

“Nope.”

“Scott?”

“Nope.”

“Then who are you?”

“Could ask you the same question.”

The girl on the other end of the phone sighed. “This is Vicki, on reception.”

“Right.”

“So.. who's this?”

“The Emperor.”

“Oh. What are you doing in Security? You ought to be careful, there's a madman tobogganing round the Castle.”

“Yes, and you ought to be careful, the whole of the Security team have wandered past your desk going to the pub without you noticing!”

“You can't talk to me like that! Do you know who I am?”

“Yes, you're.. actually, no, I've forgotten,” the Emperor replied, suffering from temporary forgetfulness. If he had had a notepad to write things down on, or a pen that wasn't lying under a desk that had a toboggan on top of it, he wouldn't have forgot.

“HAH!” The female voice on the other end of the line replied, and hung up the phone.

The Emperor, bemused, did the same and looked around. This damage would have to come out of someone's wallet, and he was glad it wasn't his. Of course, he did own the building, and did have a wallet, but what with his tendency not to wear clothes (the maximum he'd usually wear when not greeting foreign dignitaries was a pair of shorts - with underwear on occasion), he never carried it around with him. And if he did carry his wallet, the only place he'd have to put it was either strapped to himself with tape or down the inside pocket of his shorts, and there weren't many people prepared to put their hand down there to retrieve it. Hence, Fort Boston Castle was usually in a bit of a state until the monthly Ward Council meeting (headed by himself) when the Ward Council (just himself) designated tax funds (his money) to repair the damages.

But the important part, the Emperor thought, was that his credit card or cash was not coming directly out of his wallet to pay for it. That made all the difference. Plus, with the income from his various media promotions – “Emperor's Stew” (mmm...Regal!) the “Emperor Boston Action Figure” (with pistachio-throwing-action and three key phrases from his career “Ello chaps!” “It is imperative you eat cricket soup to stick it to the Han!” and “Need hippies stomping or reds crushing? Dial 'B' for Bostopia! Well, actually, it's 207-322-44774378667”) and of course the ever-popular “The Emperor Boston All-Action Grappling Hook” (with accessories), which sold surprisingly well – meant that the money he'd spent repairing his Castle was immediately replaced and then some.

Following a fifty minute conversation involving circus mimes that had wandered into the room after escaping from a box (hence the long period of time for a conversation) the Emperor found out that Taeshan had invaded a country and began raping it's countryside, which disturbed him greatly.

At times like this, the Emperor thought, and with such a large army sitting behind him chomping at the bit for war, there was only one thing to do. He grabbed his bobsled and went to find a longer staircase to slide down. War came second to few things, but he had a new obsession.

"I don't like the taste of this Landsberg stuff."

I lower my paper, the eighth time so far this trip, and give Jerry the same look as I have seven times previously (I like to imagine this one had a bit more hate in the eyes). He sits, legs crossed, upon the only other occupied seat in this first class cabin, with a bottle of Bostopia's biggest beer in hand. He's shoeless and his 'business shirt' is a bright green tie-dye job. We're currently en route for Vephrall, after suffering through a two day stop over in Bostopia.

He holds his hands up in defence.

"No, no, listen to me. This Landsberg stuff, it tastes funny."

"Funny how? Funny like a clown funny?"

"How the heck would I know what a clown tastes like?"

I will admit, I smirk here, but I then readjust my reading glasses and go back to the paper. Among many, many stories, I note the one on Rennidan's weariness of Taeshan's forceful acts abroad, the one on RenniBooze giving the affirmative to begin brewing it's own line of stouts, and the one on Rennidan's chances this World Cup.

I particularly like the last one, considering we, the Eagles, have yet to find out who we're even playing this time round. But it does make several points I am loathe to admitting to. For starters, it is right in saying that I, as manager, am now under pressure to qualify this World Cup, thanks to our successful surprise run through 42.

The article also highlights the fact that my players hate me more than...

Well.

More than Jerry hates Landsberg, probably.

But it is understandable. I am the man that handpicked these guys from their comfortable lives in Rennidan's lower leagues and dropped them head first into the international playing field. They were, no doubt, overwhelmed, and I doubt my forceful 20 hour training sessions daily helped. I am the one responsible for kicking them, trousers down, into the limelight of the world.

I also note the article on a puppy which saved its owner after she had a heart attack.

I like puppies.

But they performed, didn't they? They achieved what their predecessors never did, and bolted on through to the qualifiers. I made them winners. I made them heroes.

And for that, I get their warm, loving hate.

"What's Vephrall like?"

I lower my paper, the ninth time, and look at Jerry again. Now, Jerry, the team loves him. He's almost twice my age, but he's very much a flower-child. Dreadlocks, funky smell and always dazed and happy. He takes it easier on them when I'm not around.

I hate him for the fact they like him.

"It's nice."

It's not hate, per say, but more an overwhelming envy.

"Nice?"

An overwhelming envy which leaves a bitter taste and a want for violence.

"Nice."

An overwhelming want for violence which, at 35,000 feet, could, possibly, lead to a homicide.

"Sounds nice."

I raise my paper, raise my glasses, and flick back through to the article about the puppy.

I do like puppies.

Hall Of Fame inductee Announcement

We here at the Inquirer would like to be the first to announce to you the, the fans, that Zeke has been voted into the World cup Player Hall of Fame by elected officials 41-13 over the Taeshani Sports Council, who lets face it had no chance. Zeke has scored thousands of goals in his playing carrer, and over 40 for the international team, he was a sure bet for the first person into the HoF. Zeke will also be inducted at the same time as a coach leading the Knights to there first world cup apperance in WC 41.

OOC=1000th Post

Min Seunghwa watched as she cleaned the counter. It was a late afternoon, and though the fading sunlight shrouded most of the chairs in front of her, she had a perfect view of Son Iljun. They were about the same age, except she was stuck at work in her father's bar, and he was some math genius going to school. Still, she admired him deeply though the reasons always seemed to slip her mind. He would come nearly every weekend to watch the latest IFL updates and any new footy news on the bar TV while drinking a pint of Happy Beer (樂麥酒|요맥주). Sometimes he would bring friends with him, but today he was alone. It gave Min the perfect opportunity to watch him.

"Ya!" yelled her father. "Stop wiping the dispensers! You're letting all out the beer!" Min Hansu was an elderly man, somewhere in his 60's. Some people imagined that he was her grandfather, and in some way they might have been correct. Min Seunghwa's mother died when she was very young and so she had few memories of her. And her father - too busy running the family business - left her in the care of his brother, who lived out in the country. But after she finished her basic Gongsaeng Exams [Han equivalent for high school graduation], Min returned to the city to try making a living for herself. Finding little other opportunity, she moved in with her father, who was making a scanty living, selling drinks to his loyal patrons and occasionally to passing visitors. The bar itself - Lucky Cricket Pub (운이 귀뚜라미 술집 - alternatively simplified 운귀집 - Wungwi Jip) - was a former restaurant converted to a bar, which Min Hansu had toiled over many years to near perfection. The building was actually divided into several partitions, of which the Lucky Cricket Pub occupied the far right side (if you looked at it from the entrance, at least). The entrance itself faced north, to the main thoroughfare Jungan Street, near the Eastern end of the capital, and since the building was the last one on the lot, the sunsets were always particularly spectacular from inside the bar (the adjacent lots were too short to block the sunlight, as the building was situated on the edge of a hill). When you walked inside, you would immediately imagine that it didn't have much space to move around. The bar extended a bit too far into the space, and the tables were too small to fit as many people. The bar itself was the distinguishing feature of the place; it extended the entire 20 meter length of the public area, heading back into the kitchen. There were 8 tables with a complement of 6 chairs each, and the bar held room for 8 stools. The TV was perhaps a generous donation by the Happy Drinks Corporation, which provided Min with his largest selection of beers; it stood in the middle of the room, facing the entrance, such that it was possible to conceive of the main dining area as two separate rooms (and with as many people that visited the bar, it often was the distinguishing division in the room). To say the least, the main area in front of the entrance was the most popular area for patrons, while the more distant section was only used occasionally (to go to the bathroom, for example). Towards the back of the bar, there was the kitchen and the bathroom (officially the public washing area, complete with a toilet and shower - oddly no sink). Only one person at a time could the bathroom, and it was difficult to lock, which led to people catching each other at random and awkward moments. The kitchen was where Min Hansu cooked some of his meals, complete with a vat to cook rice, a wok, and a brick oven. He also bought a microwave to make quick eats, but for the most part, whatever food he made was largely hand-made.

It was a difficult living, especially since he would have to deal with drunken bastards occasionally. And further still, the market was a seldom profitable enterprise without a corporate sponsor. But as Min Hansu was a homily man, he couldn't bring himself to find a corporate sponsor - he preferred a simple bar with a simple selection of beers. He was even a microbrewer, having successfully taken the Sulhak Examination (to receive a permit to brew alcohol) - in his 15th year, he had yet to market a brand of beer that was palatable to any of his patrons. Since he brewed his beer in the kitchen, it was often a place where odd smells coalesced, leaving some curious patrons on the floor - Min once stated that those who could stand 5 minutes in his kitchen were welcome to stay as long as they pleased (and as long as they paid). Understandably, this led to very few patrons, and only the few faithful daily patrons would stay for hours, chatting, drinking, eating, and doing whatever was in their interest for the day. But today, the regulars were not yet here. In fact, Son Iljun was the only "regular" in the bar at the moment.

"Yes, abeojji." Min Seunghwa got off the dispensers - a set of some 20 levers connected to 20 different drafts, mostly by Happy Drinks. At first, she didn't realize how much a mess she made until she turned her attention to her cleaning. The floor was slightly wet, but the dispensing tray was completely flooded. Some of the mugs near the tray were a little wet from the splatter, but for the most part, she was lucky that it wasn't anything bigger - otherwise, cleaning the counter would have been a more difficult task. She kept her focus for the next few minutes, while her father was busily brewing some tea and cooking the rice. Her mind nonchalantly wandered away though she found herself staring again at Son. She tried to rationalize why he infatuated her. Was it something about his appearance? Not really. He wasn't very tall - a lowly 166 cm - and his weight was almost unhealthy, some 60kg. Nothing about his eyes and hair was distinctive; messy black hair with lightly tanned skin. His eyes were almost invisible, even though he wore a pair of thin-rimmed glasses. His clothes? They were often cheap imitations of nice brands - on the surface, they would have looked nice, but he was a messy person. His shirts were wrinkled severely, and his pant legs often dragged on his sneakers. He also looked like he was a beggar at times. Hmmm... unattractive really. Maybe his intelligence and character? After all, he was a Gongsa [Han equivalent for college BA degree] graduate. And he was always courteous to everyone he met. He was a diligent worker, sometimes bringing his class assignments to finish while he stayed at the bar. He was a math student, aiming to get a career in abstract mathematical concepts (perhaps a statistician?), but he was certainly smart in other areas. He was firmly aware of Han foreign and domestic politics, often engaging in fierce debates with passing visitors. Yes - he was a ideal citizen, but as she reflected more on Son's attitude, he was definitely footy fan - almost to an obsession. Of course, it was the main reason why Son came to the Lucky Cricket - in fact, if she could guess how Son's life was outside the Lucky Cricket by simply extending what she saw of him in the bar, 90% would have been football. Hmmm... too insane. What was it exactly then?

She tried staring at his facial features, to get a better glimpse of why she admired him. Maybe it wasn't so much him but what she wanted to do. Son was living as a free man, taking education into his own hands and getting higher in the ranks of society. In contrast, Min was a lowly "peasant" girl (the peasantry had been long abolished, but people still live poverty in some places). She was only slightly above basic citizenship status, and without any real education, she was doomed to stay as a simple serve-person. But if she had the opportunity that Son had - to break the prison-like mold of her present circumstances and pursue her dreams - she would be... well, where would she be? She hadn't thought much about her dreams, but she did realize that thinking about Son did get her thinking about her future. She did realize that she didn't want to stay at the Lucky Cricket serving her father's patrons, as much as she loved her father - a comical and sometimes whimsical character himself. Perhaps that was all just excuses to get to talk to Son, to know him more. After all, she met other students from the local schools. Why was Son different from others?

"Agasshi!" Son yelled. Min Seunghwa woke up from her daydream, noticeably staring at Son. Immediately, she realized that it was real and that he was talking to her. "You just keep looking at me!"

"Yes? Yes?" she said.

"Can I have some more beer?" Son raised his empty mug. Min rushed from behind the counter and grabbed the mug, using the dispenser to get more beer. She realized then that she hadn't really been cleaning the counter space, as it was all still dirty and the dispenser tray was flooded still. Deep in her mind, she knew that Son knew that she was watching him. She wondered then if Son thought about her, but knowing his particular habits, she doubted that she was even a wisp in his obsession for football. "Here you go!"

"Is there something wrong with me?" Son then asked her.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I kept asking for some beer, and you kept looking at me, as if there was a giant zit on my face. What, is there a zit on my face?"

"No. Well, not that I noticed at least." That was a lie - while his face was a mess, his skin was meticulously clean. And only she would notice.

"Aygu. I'm sorry for being a little rash. I was just a little..." Min listened for more. "I don't know. I thought maybe my lip was bust after a game of footy earlier today. Some freak smacked me in the head with the ball." The final reply was somewhat depressing for Min. While she had been hoping for some reciprocation of affection, Son only demonstrated his obsession with football again. Maybe it was only the idea that intrigued her then.

"Okay," Min said, smiling brightly as ever. "Well, I'm sorry to have ignored you. I was daydreaming."

"Well, you were scaring me, that's all."

"What are you doing now?" Min asked, noticing the wide variety of papers with numbers and words scribbled all over them. Son sighed as he thought of a way to explain. "It's my assignment..."

"Ya!" Min Hansu stepped out of the kitchen with the tea set. He had the face of an old weathered sage ready to scold his daughter. "This place is filthy! Weren't you just cleaning it?"

"Yes, abeojji!" Min Seungsu said, retreating to the confines of the counter space, to finish "cleaning" the place while her father went to serve tea to Son. They were chitchatting, obviously on things that were interesting to either of the men, but Min couldn't stop thinking about what Son was thinking about her. Maybe he was a shy person and didn't want to admit his feelings for her. But then again, what feelings for him would he have? The only encounters he had with her were the brief scuffles between her cleaning and serving the patrons. Perhaps she was directing some misguided affection for attention upon him, with the false hopes that he would be her savior from this dingy place. True, she loved her father, and her father loved her; but as old sages once said, 'The heart often longs for a place beyond home.' But the same olds sages also said, 'The heart belongs at home.' - difficult to imagine the two ideas.

"Seunghwa! Come here!" her father called her, seemingly forgetting that he had just asked her to finish cleaning the counters. She obediently rushed to her father's side, wondering if she was going to have an opportunity to talk to Son again.

"Yes, abeojji?"

"Iljun says that you were dreaming again."

Immediately, Min blushed. "Well, I was..."

"Tell me, what were you dreaming?"

"I was..." she hesitated to say anything more. Oh, she felt like a fool - dreaming all day over Son, and yet lacking the resolve to answer her father directly. "Well..."

Just at that instant, the old regulars came inside. "Min Juseonsaengnim!" they all yelled simultaneously. It was a saving grace for Min, who immediately rushed behind the counter to serve her patrons beer. Min Hansu went to his patrons - some young, some old (mostly old) - and invited them to sit at the same table. They were all there - Choe Cheolgwan, the failed writer who often spent hours writing a single sentence; Hong Junho, a private investigator who spent his days seeking out whatever people wanted him to seek out; Chan Seokgyu, the old master hyeongeum (Korean harp) player whose trade was a old and respected one, but also one seldom appreciated; and Yu Gyeongae, a factory mistress who worked to support the education for her five children. They each had their own tales to tell, but for the moment, their stories were not worth the time to ponder over. Min only wondered over her own inability to confess her adoration for Son. Perhaps she was ashamed of something - her low status? Perhaps, but she didn't quite imagine that it would be such a grave problem for her to speak in front of her father - the one person in whom she trusted the most. Perhaps she was afraid then - afraid to hear Son's rejection. Ah, that must have been the thing bother her all of this time, fear.

And so nurtured this fear was, she was finally aware of it and immediately began to think of a way to counter it and put to death the shame in her heart. She clenched her fists with resolve to make it her duty to confess her love.

"Ya! You're breaking the tray!" Min Hansu yelled, noticing the clenched fists snapped the plastic trays that Min Seunghwa was holding. He rushed over to rescue her daughter from the clumsy mistake, as the patrons looked on. They laughed.

"Seunghwa! It's okay, the tray won't jump out of your hands!"

Perhaps later, she decided. Later, she would resolve to end her fear. For the moment, she had to serve the patrons.

<Jameson Mountain, SouthWest Sawed; 0230, 18-10-43>

I'm writing this in hopes that eventually all the little things that happened in this war, if untold slaughter can so be called war, which are not reported by QNN, which is as close to a presidential, SORRY, Furhurish media puppet as you can get in Qazox. Like today for instance. Now as a Captain in the Army, I have direct control of around 750 troops at any one time. I follow the orders of the Major right above me, he follows the order of the Colonel above him, etc, while my Lieutenants follow my instructions, who then tell the Sergents, Coprals, etc. Today we were told that members of the Sawed Military, if you count a thousand or so people equipped with shotguns and Colt.45 pistols an army; while my men have the AQ-75, M-10 Garrend and other semi-automatic weapons. Back to my point, supposedly on this mountain, there was force of over 2000 Sawedi troops threatening our right flank. I was ordered to take my platoon of 750 to scout and ambush them. While usually, this type of action doesn't necessitate a full bird Colonel or a 1-star General to tag along, this mission seemingly did. When we got to the area our advanced scouts claimed was the Sawedi base, we found a village of about 600 civilians and a small 10 person local police force. I hastily found my superior officers, in terms of rank only I now say, as the orders they gave me and my troops to perform have cleansed me of any notion that in this war the higher the rank, the LESS superior the individual is. We were told to slaughter the village and burn it to the ground. I protested that these people would seemingly had no recent contact with the outer world, weren't a threat to us, the war or Qazox. But since I have to follow the orders of Higher ranked officers, I had no choice to commence the attack. In less than 10 minutes, 600 people, who were crying, cluching their children, or their parents were dead. They haunt my dreams tonight, and I don't deserve sleep. Tomorrow, we are to march north towards yet another supposed Sawedi stronghold. For the sake of my soul, I hope I die tommorrow.

Captain Brian Chalmers

The Great Lavra of the Archregimancy



http://www.stnicholas-billings.org/images/Orthodox/MtAthosGreatLavra.jpg



The Holy Synod of the Archregimancy meets in solemn session...



http://www.theorthodoxchurch.info/blogs/news/uploaded_images/TURCHIA_SINODO_(600_x_402)-740040.jpg



"So, dear brothers, with this year's Synodical photograph taken, I think that just about wraps up this session's business - and just in time for vespers!"

"Not so fast, your holiness.... there's one more piece of business to attend to."

"Yes? The chair recognises Theophilus of St. Catherine's"

"It's this letter here forwarded from the Archregimand's office. It's.... most peculiar."

"And?"

"Well, it seems that the assembled Ordinary Reality nations of the World Cup Committee have voted that we should select someone from the Archregimancy to serve as President of said committee."

"What's a 'president'?"

"Good question."

"I think I know!"

"The Chair recognises Euphemius of St. John of New Patmos."

"A president is sort of an elected secular bishop."

"But we elect our bishops too..."

"Yes, Your Holiness, but bishops are elected by other bishops, whereas a secular president is typically elected by a broader - and wholly secular -demographic."

"Orthodox bishops are elected by the people too, Euphemius."

"In theory, Your Holiness, but typically the acclamation of the people's a mere rubber stamp. When was the last time one of us was elected by popular acclamation without reference to the local synod, hmmm."

"If I can just interject there, Your Holiness..."

"The Chair recognises Justinian of the Painted Monastery of Voronets."

"Well, this 'World Cup Committee' itself consists of a limited suffrage, does it not?"

"Euphemius?"

"He's quite right, Your Holiness."

"So, it really is just like electing a Bishop, isn't it?"

"Maybe.... Do any of you know what this World Cup Committee President actually does?"

"Holds the occasional vote, runs elections, casts down the wicked, uplifts the righteous. I think."

"Just like a bishop, then. Thank you, Mark of St. Saba's in the Forest. So, do we accept?"

"I move that we do, Your Holiness - on one condition..."

"Yes, Theophilus?"

"Well, 'President' sounds just a little, well, secular and un-Orthodox, don't you think?"

"Possibly. What's your suggestion."

"That we accept on two conditions... that we get to rename the position as 'First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee', and that we get to hold an Orthodox enthronement ceremony and blessing."

"Ooooooooh. I like it."

"Me too!"

"Me three!"

"I'd vote for that!"

"Gets my support too!"

"Alright, then... How about this then?:

Be it duly resolved, in all Christian humility, that the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy accepts the election of its representative as First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee, pending the ceremony of enthronement and blessing, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, even unto ages of ages.

All in favour?"

"AYE"

"Any opposed? No? Right then. I suggest we go on to vespers, and worry about who to appoint tomorrow."

King Richard I of Jeruselem and his mother-in-law Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas playing golf ...

Richard: Hey, why do have to play golf in skirt?
Dazza: Because, I like attention! Oh, two iron please.
Richard: Two iron - what's wrong with a normal five wood?
Dazza: I want a bit more elevation for this shot.

Richard: There's not a lot of wind to help you know.
Dazza: I know, I'm not relying on the wind.

<Dazza belts the ball down the green somehow avoiding the sand>

Richard: Very nice, that was well done.
Dazza: There's a brain in this body. I'm not just baby factory.
Richard: Say, suggest any ideas how to get my son interested in the army?
Dazza: Why is that?

Richard: He seems more keen training up to play for our World Cup team.
Dazza: What about the girls?
Richard: He knows the girls are hotter in football.
Dazza: We've got Sadie Dallas!

Richard: Yeah, but the other Dallases aren't in the army - for good reasons.
Dazza: What about big guns and lots of weapons of mass destruction?
Richard: Err, he doesn't seem to be into that kinda thing. 5 wood please.
Dazza: I'd watch that bunch of trees.

<The King hits this shot with 5 wood but it clips a tree>

Richard: Maybe a 2 iron was a better idea.
Dazza: I think you hit the ball to close the tree and it just swung in too close.
Richard: Back to my son, any more ideas how to get him enthused about the army?
Dazza: Isn't the army about a bunch of guys shooting people and getting laid when they're not shooting people?

Richard: That was the old days, we try to have a professional army these days.
Dazza: What about Jeru FC then?
Richard: That's where the rejects end up.
Dazza: Sadie Dallas is army reject?

Richard: Oh, she's useless in the army. Not exactly very smart.
Dazza: But she's a Dallas!
Richard: Saying that even dumb Dallases aren't totally stupid.
Dazza: I found your ball in the bush here!

Richard: I think I'll need to take a drop. Can't swing a club in this bush.

<Guy jumps out of the bushes with a chainsaw, shouting weird stuff>

Richard: What's he doing here?
Dazza: Pitching wedge please!
Richard: He's got a chainsaw, how is that going to help.

<Dazza knocks the guy out with a well aimed golf shot to the head>

Richard: Great shot there.
Dazza: Golf balls are weapons! YAY!
Richard: OPUS DEI member.
Dazza: How can you tell?

Richard: Funny tattoos.
Dazza: He's waking up again.
Richard: Hang on (hits guy in the nuts with iron)
Dazza: That's going to hurt.

A van plodded down the road, which cut through the forests of the mountainous west. It was completely empty but brought back memories for the vehicle's occupants. It seemed like only a few World Cups ago that their completely out-of-character storyline had brought them here to halt a terrorist plot. Now, Russ, Peter, and Professor von Steuben were in a black van labeled with golden letters announcing them as the 'SMS.' In the back they were towing around a bunch of equipment that looked like the kind of stuff Pierce Brosnan would thank NASA for providing.

"So tell me again why we're the ones getting sent in the mountains for this nonsense, as opposed to some actual scientists," sighed Russ, his face pasted to the passenger window. "Is there something you're not telling us about this job, professor?"

Von Steuben kept his eyes glued to the road. "Vatever gave you zat idea?" he replied. "Zees ees right oop our alley! Und eet pays mooch beeter zen vat you do now... vat vas zat again?"

"Being unemployed?" suggested Russ. "Yeah, there is that. Fair enough, but I still have one more question. I understand why plot magic has taught us to operate this bizarre scientific equipment, but why did our off-screen training include flying a fighter plane? I mean, even though that is not foreshadowing in any sense of the word."

********************

Crews raced out to the runway where a helicopter was making its final approach. A jeep cut across the pavement and ground to a halt near the landing site. The base commander adjusted his hat and stepped out of the vehicle to greet the incoming royals. The chopper touched down and the rotors slowed down as the hatch opened. "Sa~lute!" he called.

The assembled immediately brought hand to forehead as Prince Daniel exited the vehicle. He saluted back as his sister, Princess Erica, emerged behind him. The two were dressed to impress, with the prince in a sharp blue suit and freshly-pressed white pants, with the jacket buttons polished to an immaculate gold. He looked as if he'd just graduated from the academy, although it'd been years since he worn it. The princess was also dressed in her academy jacket, although she wore a knee-length navy blue skirt. She was a recent graduate.

"Colonel Simms, it's good to see you again!" said the prince, extending his hand. The colonel shook it heartily as he and Erica got in the waiting jeep. "I must apologize for my father, but he's growing too old to come to the exercises..."

"Your father has good sense, your highness, to know his limitations," Simms replied, holding the door for Erica. He closed it behind her and entered the front passenger seat, directing his aide to drive them to the main building. "Although now we really have our work cut out for us, since there are two of you to impress."

"I trust that the new fighter performs as admirably as the reports indicated," Daniel replied. "I'm more interested to see the live fire exercises for the four Beast Machines... are those still on?"

"We won't disappoint you," Simms replied with a smile. "And I believe this will be the first time the princess has seen them in person, yes?" Erica blushed and nodded.

Daniel, meanwhile, leaned back and looked up at the sky. If they were here, then she must be, as well. Jun Aoyama... it's been awhile, hasn't it?

********************

Von Steuben, Russ, and Peter stood in front of the regional government office in Milton, a college town nestled a few miles south of Mount Fujiko, the tallest peak in the western state of Desugaia. Thirty miles to the northeast was the Mount Kaguya Proving Grounds, a facility used both by the Army and Air Force to test new equipment. Now, they stood in front of the assembly in their black SMS jackets prepared to introduce themselves in full voice.

"Off we go, off we go, SMS!
Bursting through the Earth and sky.
Gotta know, gotta know, SMS!
The ins and outs of everything - the when, the where, and why!
We'll hit the site even if there's aliens... ALIENS!
The truth is always in our sight.
Get the facts, get the facts, SMS.
Solving all your mysteries, bring them into light.
Experts in any field, all technology.
All that failure means is that more trials proceed!
Always looking forward is the SMS!
Super speed! Miracle! Mystery!
Our science is the strongest that you'll see - HEY!"

The assembly was deadly silent. Peter hit the last note lustily along with the professor. Russ was sweating and trying to avoid turning bright red. Man... this was completely stupid. "The Science Mercenary Squadron has assembled as requested!" Peter announced.

"Yes..." said the chairman with a cough. "And I'm glad you're... here."

"We'll get straight to the point," said another council member, dimming the lights. A slide came up on the far side of the room showing satellite imagery of the mountain. Nothing was out of the ordinary. "We long believed Mount Fujiko to be an extinct volcano, but in the last few days, there have been several small earthquakes in the area. We've been collecting aerial photography, and this appeared yesterday..."

The next slide showed a large crack forming on the eastern side of the mountain, which was larger in the following slide. "A fissure is forming, but we've found no evidence of volcanic activity. The town is not threatened by a mountainslide, but the environmental impact could be tremendous. We need someone to investigate. Of course, because of the danger, this mission pays well."

"Zat's all ve needed to hear," said von Steuben, with a courteous bow. "Ve vill get to ze bottom of zees."

********************

"So this is the new high performance fighter?" asked the prince, inspecting the plane. It sat quietly in a hanger along with two others. It had a sleek profile. Curiously, the engine blocks didn't look like they were connected to the fuselage, and attached to the undersection like a fuel tank or missile was a robot-use machine gun. "Interesting fusion of equipment," he said at last. "New military standardization?"

"Something like that," said Simms.

He seemed to be hiding something, but the prince didn't press. It would come up in testing tomorrow. He looked at the cockpit and noticed the Dancougar Air Force insignia customized with a thick, angled halo. "Build Angels, huh..." he murmured. "Two seater?"

"These three are, yes," replied Simms. "Although they can still be flown individually. The three ladies who will be demonstrating these aircraft tomorrow will be going alone. They're already loaded and ready to go, so we can begin first thing in the morning."

"Oh, so they really are the Build Angels, then!" said the prince. The Build Angels were well-known throughout the air force as an incredibly talented team, but he was surprised that they would willingly act as test pilots for some unproven vehicle. That right there told him something was special about this craft. "Are they on the base now?"

"Yup, but you'll have to settle for us!" A strong voice rang out from the front of the bay. The prince turned and smiled as he saw four people walking towards them. The Angels were good, but these four were the top pilots in the country. They had to be to fly the Beast Machines of the combining warrior, Dancougar...

"It seems like I'm in good hands wherever I turn, Lieutenant Aoyama!" said Daniel. "Erica, you've never met the pilots of..."

Daniel was going to introduce them, but Erica had run up to one of them. "Senpai!" she cried excitedly, completely forgetting herself. But that was youth for you. "You became a Beast Machine pilot, Chase? That's incredible!"

"Of course, I should've remembered, that you already knew Lieutenant Villareal," Daniel said, nodding at his old academy classmate as a form of welcome. "Well, he always was the better pilot, no matter what I did."

"You look well, Erica-hime," Chase said. He was tall and clean shaven, proudly wearing his unwrinkled uniform which looked as bright as the day he got it. Erica noticed that he wasn't wearing any of his medals or badges aside from his unit and rank insignia. "I'm sorry I haven't contacted you in awhile; I was going to surprise you, but it seems I'm found out!"

"Chase has been getting up to speed on Laser Liger," Jun explained. "He's a quick study, but it takes more than a few hours of simulator time to get a feel for it."

"We'll have to catch up later," said Erica sweetly, "but I don't believe I've met the rest of you."

"I'm Jun Aoyama, of the Land Cougar Magnum," Jun said.

The two other pilots, who had watched the proceedings with amusement, now spoke up. The first was a lean man with wild brown hair and loose-hanging dog tags over his unbuttoned jacket. "Tetsuya Tsumura, Screaming Eagle," he said. "It's a honor, your highness." He said it flatly, as if he'd been coached beforehand on protocol. Jun elbowed him in the gut.

The other man was heavyset but wore a smile as wide as his waistline. He looked strong. "Joe Sakaraya," he said with a deep, booming voice, "of the Burly Mammoth!"

Min took a break from her duties as server, returning to the kitchen. It was well past sunset, and from the appearance of the pub, a few other "regulars" had arrived. The lot upon which the building was built belonged to some old man who never visited his property. The lore of the day suggested that he was a rich man who believed in philanthropy and devoted the use of his land to people who could make better use of it. In all, the people on the lot into five shares, each using a roughly equal section of the lot. At the far left section was a bike store, where Yi Sonseol ran the local bike shop. His principal trade was fixing bikes, more so than selling new bikes, evidenced by the extensive list of tools he possessed. In fact, he was perhaps the only man along the entire Jungan Street who could repair a bike with any degree of confidence. And while it seemed to be a senseless job with no opportunities, bikes were the principal vehicle for limited travel in the country; hence, a bike mechanic was a valuable friend. Next to the bike store was a bakery, owned by Shin Yeongsuk. Her father-in-law and husband owned land in the country, and using the subsistence labor, sent their surplus crops to her. Often, Min Hansu would turn to Shin for his beer ingredients, in the hopes that he could find a reliable crop, and with a variety of rice, corn, wheat, barley, and other cereals at her disposal, he had yet to find the right combination. That said, her principal business was selling the rice and grains for general consumption. Occasionally, she'd grind up the "rotting" (i.e. getting old but not quite rotted) grains and make some cakes with them. Her rice cakes were the fame of the street, and whenever she made any, it was reason enough to hold a party. Next to the bakery was the grocer's shop, where Min Hansu often bought his food items. The grocer brought his items from other local shops and organized them such that Jungan Street had supplies that were more widely available in other parts of the capital. The products were often of mediocre quality, but the prices were almost generous, reflecting perhaps the grocer's charitable character. As to who the grocer was, no one really knew - he never spoke of his name and referred to himself cryptically as "Mu" (as in "no one", not the cow's moo); incidentally, he came to be known as "Mu", although talking to him, they'd always greet him as Seonsaengnim ("Mister"). Next to the grocer was resident astrologer, No Seongmi. She was born with the talent to read things in manners no one else could, but what prevented her from exploiting that characteristic was its rather unpredictable nature. She was considering a freak for some time because she would only occasionally fall into trances and grabbing people, telling them their fortunes as if convulsed by some higher divine authority. Some people said she was possessed, but regardless, she spent her time honing her predictions into practical use rather than trying to swindle money off of people. For this, she earned a reputation as a noted "pre-diagnostic expert" and earned further a respectable following of believers, especially among those ill and sick.

Next to the psychic's house was - of course - the pub. And often, the five would congregate in the pub to discuss the business of the day, especially when it was slow. As it was typically, the day was slow when nothing special was happening and the traffic down Jungan Street was empty. They largely blamed the development of mass transit, which completely bypassed the need to use the street during regular hours. But occasionally, random chance would give them a good day's work. Unfortunately, today was not one of those days, and they were all assembled in the the main room, watching the daily news (Son was busily finishing his homework, listening to a podcast of the daily footy news). Min Seunghwa, on the other hand, had been busily serving around 20 customers, most of whom were random passers-by and a lost and confused tourist (he didn't realize that he had come to a bar). And for the first time since the evening began, she rested. She sat down on her bed mat (like most rural houses, the bed was a glorified empty spot on the ground, as much as the toilet was an empty hole in the ground - although they did actually have a functioning plumbing system). As she lay on her pillow, she reflected back to her thoughts of the early evening - Son Iljun.

Ah, yes - the fear.

"Ya. Seunghwa," her father said, coming back to the kitchen, presumably to rest himself. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, abeojji," she replied. "Why?"

"I'm just concerned about your recent attitude. It's been disturbing me."

"What do you mean?"

"Cleaning?" Hansu said, gesturing the action. "You only volunteer to do it when Son comes by, and whenever you volunteer to do it, you end up doing some damage. Last week, you managed to tip over the broom and broke thirteen mugs! And you get really antsy when you talk about or around Son. What's wrong with him?"

"Oh..." she thought to herself. It was her opportunity to confess her feelings freely. "I'm just... clumsy."

"Clumsy?" Hansu replied. He scratched his head. "I suppose I don't mind you being clumsy, but try being clumsy with other people too, not just around Son. He's starting to think that you don't like him."

Seunghwa turned a little sensitive. "No! I don't ... don't not don't like him."

"What?"

"I mean... I don't not like him."

"Ah. Well, just be less clumsy around him regardless. He's been telling me that you stare at him too often to make him feel comfortable."

"Oh?"

"He's been saying that he thought you were a football fan too, but I know you don't like football, so I told him that. Now he doesn't feel too comfortable around us. And he's a good kid. I like him, and he does some good things around the shop. Like fix the TV. You know that? If I called an electrician, it would have cost a lot more. But he can do that with his free hand. A meal and beer! That's it cost! Plus, he's a good kid."

"And cute too."

"What?"

Seunghwa immediately stuttered. She tried to recant what she said, but at that point, it was already obvious what was ticking in her head. Hansu scratched his head again, now more firmly aware of the situation (not to say that he wasn't already aware of the situation - after all, he was the one who watched her watch Son for the past several months). He didn't know what to say, and Seunghwa sincerely hoped that he wouldn't say anything at all, especially to her. Perhaps it was a taboo subject.

"I don't know what to say," Hansu admitted. He went to his little bed mat and sat down with a heavy sigh. "I really think you should be talking to Iljun. Instead of scaring him." It was more or less a euphemism to get Seunghwa to abandon her fear and tell her feelings directly to Son. In due time, he would understand better the feelings that Seunghwa had for Iljun, but after a day preparing food, entertaining guests, and discussing business, he wasn't ready for it. Seunghwa certainly didn't feel the same way.

"I'll tell him tomorrow."

"Well, then talk to Choe."

Choe Cheolgwan was the resident poet. Since the Lucky Cricket first opened, he had been trying his luck as an amateur novelist. Some ten years later, he had yet to produce any respectable work, although he had several "critic" articles in many journals. Apparently, he knew the qualities of "good" writing, but when it came to making the writing, he lacked the capacity to enforce it. It was doubtless the consequence of his wandering mind, which fluttered from place to place. When he wrote, it was often an incomprehensible masterpiece which begged to ask whether any person could conceive any story in such a manner; it was simply genius, but too much so for the editors who called his submissions "childish sketches vomited on a piece of paper". Choe couldn't really help himself though. He had learned that a full and unabridged description of his thoughts was often the most sincere form of writing, and having learned this, he always sought to emulate this. Nonetheless, he was always a charming person to talk to.

"I'm alright," Seunghwa answered her father. It was more the tone of her response that irked Hansu, but as he cared for her feelings, he let it slide. He lay down on his mat and thought to himself of sleep. It would have been nice, but knowing the nature of his patrons, it would have been ultimately disrespectful. After all, he was their host, and the host should always ensure the safety and welfare of his guests. He decided against the sleep, but having already lain down, he was more or less on a collision course with the dreamy abode. Seunghwa, seeing this, took the gauntlet; if Hansu wouldn't be the host, she would. So it seemed, she would talk to Choe after all.

She came out to the main room. The regulars were all seated on their table, eating from a pot of stewed spicy chicken and potatoes. The other patrons had already left - including Iljun - leaving the "regulars" all alone.

"Ah! Agasshi! Come join us for dinner!"

"I've already eaten," she replied. A lie - she was so hungry that she could put them all to shame and eat the meal before them. It was a delicious concoction of fresh chicken and chopped vegetables, steamed for hours before a thick pepper paste marinade was added (Hansu was fond of spicy food). The herbs reeked their potent aroma into every crevice (one reason why the kitchen smelled awful), as if the aroma from the garlic and onions wasn't enough (another reason). Still, the men and woman were all pleased with their food as always. Cheap food and cheap beer; the only cost was the small amount of change that they often brought and some occasional favors that Hansu asked of them.

It was the small society that preferred favors over cash - of course, currency was the guarantee of services, but favors were at times more valuable than the money itself. As Hansu noted, hiring an electrician to fix the TV would have cost a lot of money. In the same context, the majority of his faithful patrons offered services in return for reduced fares. Most of his neighbors would offer their wares in return for dinner and beer, which benefited everyone equally. Except for the tourists, who had the fewest options available to them.

"Come sit anyway," Yu Gyeongae said. "We all know that the old man needs his rest." Yu Gyeongae was indeed an odd character. She was the only one among the crowd who was a woman and was married with kids. Still, she spent her time with the Pub crew. Her husband once thought that she was cheating on him, and at her insistance came to the pub one night with the kids - needless to say, it put his fears to rest, and even occasionally would come with his wife when they had ample babysitters. But Yu Gyeongae was the most faithful of the regular patrons. Her services were also often the most useful. Working at a factory (what she made was never the subject of any of their conversations, although it seemed that she worked in a car factory), she had learned many skills that made her services the most useful relative to the others. The counter broken? She'd rip out the parts and fix it back up. The toilet clogged? She'd rip out the pipes with ease and fit them with new ones. The floor peeled? She'd rip out the floor with ease and fit the boards back together again. At times, Hansu would have preferred a much simpler way to fix things, but then again, her services were at significantly reduced prices - he had no complaints really.

Seunghwa kindly declined a spot at the table - she was uneasy with the patrons. But Yu was adamant. "Come on! I don't like eating with someone hovering over me. It feels like they want me to stop eating and leave."

Well, with that sort of reaction, Seunghwa only felt obliged to sit, taking the chair that Yu had set aside. Sitting slowly, the chair creaked as she settled in the seat. The regulars all glanced at her in the midst of their meal. "Bring a bowl of rice for yourself," Choe said. "You look starved."

"I'm alright, Mr. Choe."

Hong Junho smiled as he scooted his bowl to Seunghwa. "You can't lie to me. I can see your eyes linger at the chicken." Obviously, Hong Junho had excellent powers of observation - it lent him a great power whenever he was on investigative cases.

"Aya!" Choe replied to Hong. "If you had a giant fat chicken in the middle of your table, you'd still be staring at it too."

"There's a special way in which hungry people look at food," Hong then said, justifying his reaction. "They look at the food, and there is some innate feeling that surges in their eyes. It's as if the person becomes an animal and the thought of food consumes them. You can see it in the starving and the poor whenever you get around the donation tables. They're always looking at the food."

"I still insist," Choe said. "You'd be looking at a giant fat chicken too."

"Maybe. But then, it's not whether you look at a chicken but how you look at it."

After the brief dialectic scuffle, Seunghwa kindly rejected Hong's bowl. "Seriously, I'm alright." Just then, her stomach rumbled loudly, such that it seemed that the subway was passing right then (and the nearest subway was some 10 blocks away). Laughter erupted, and Hong insisted again. "Your eyes may deceive me, but your stomach can't lie." With that, Hong stood up and reached for an empty bowl, fetching his own bowl of rice. Seunghwa, now guilt-ridden, decided that it would be better to eat and be happy than be courteous and unhappy. As the table began settle again, with the news running in the background, they began to talk about their affairs again.

"I've gotten a new idea for a novel," Choe said.

"What would that be?" Yu said, almost mockingly A desperate artist tries to kill himself by burning himself?" Yu was poking fun at Choe's unusual habit of killing his protagonists in bizarre manners, usually related somehow to their characteristics. His last novel submission had the main hero - a drunk, hopeless beggar who struggles with life - slit his wrists with a broken bottle of beer. The submission before that had the hero - an exterminator who suddenly becomes aware that the pests have feelings - take poison and die a miserable death. Dark and gloomy indeed - perhaps that was another reason why he never had a successful publication.

"Ha. Funny," Choe tried to be less stern than his mood suggested. "Seriously. I think I might have a good idea."

"Well, what is it?"

"I was thinking about a downtrodden server who has no life..."

"How does he die in the end?" Yu asked, again slightly mockingly.

"She doesn't die. In fact, she gets miserably screwed over in life, but she doesn't die. It's because she's miserably screwed over that she doesn't die. She probably deserves to die, but she doesn't die."

"That's a change," Hong noted. They all laughed - except Min, who immediately identified herself with the character. Oddly enough, it should seem.

"Well, she works at a restaurant as a hostess, and every day she must greet the dumb and inane folk who visit the restaurant. she struggles with her cause for life - why she must suffer the indignity of greeting strangers in a house that she doesn't even own. And she tries to rationalize her world around her, and in the process tries to change it for herself. But every attempt runs into a brick wall. She can't change the world in which she struggles."

"How does she get around then?" Seunghwa asked.

"She then tries to change herself. But she can't do that either. So she just lives her life, the miserable medium between obscurity and inanity."

"That sounds like a dumb story," Hong remarked. "Who would read it?"

They all argued about it, but Seunghwa was already enchanted by the idea. She could try changing the world around her - to make it her world. Nevermind that Choe said that the girl in his story would fail; she was not that girl. She was Min Seunghwa - and she would succeed. But to what end would she strive? To get out, get an education. And then what? Hmmm.

"Does this server have a boyfriend?"

A man named Jason Brock bought the Greal Times from a newspaper stand and on his way home, two articles caught his eye.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violence in Lasom Continues

http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff41/838millionman/grunt.jpg
Greali soldiers keep an eye on a street where severe fighting has happened. Thousands have died in recent clashes between Greal soldiers and former Lasom rebels.

LOSSOW, GREAL - Thousands have died in the past week in the Greali colony of Lasom after the colonial elections were canceled due to mysterious deaths. In response to the violence, the Lasom governor has declared martial law in Lossow. Witnesses say they have seen Greali soldiers and Lasom rebels shooting each other on the streets. The Greali Colonial Administration has ordered Greal soldiers into Lossow in a effort to stop the violence. President Martin Watson has commented that he is sadden by the fighting in Lasom, and hopes that it will end.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

World Cup 43: Greal

http://ops.fhwa.dot.gov/publications/mitig_traf_cong/images/seahawks_stadium.jpg
An empty Greal National Soccer Team Stadium is shown before a match between Greal and Adaptes Astrates during the Díenstad Cup.

SASHA, GREAL - The Greal World Cup Committee has announced that John Igor will not lead this year's Greal World Cup squad to World cup 43. Ross Trent has been chosen by the committee to lead the World Cup squad. Ross Trent has acknowledged that the World Cup 43 will be much more difficult then the last Cup due to some new interesting competition. Ross Trent however has vowed to at least qualify for the Cup this year. In the last cup, the Greali team nearly qualified. The Greal television committee has predicted that a average hundred million viewers will watch each World Cup Match this year.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jason folded the newspaper and headed home.

A man and a naked woman with a microphone

Mary: Hello! I'm Mary Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem. I'm with Ryan Greenly, the coach of Jeru FC for this World Cup 43.
Ryan: Say, how come you're naked apart from the shoes?
Mary: It is Naked News Jeruselem, we don't wear a lot of clothes! If we do wear clothes, we take them off.
Ryan: It's fine by me. I'm used to nudity - I am from Qazox.

Mary: So, what's it like taking over a team like Jeru FC after coaching Qazox for four cups from World Cup 39 to 42?
Ryan:
Jeruselem isn't actually that different from Qazox. I mean, nudity seems to be accepted apart from the religious communities and the way government is run isn't that different either. The football is good here too.
Mary: So how did you get this job?
Ryan:
Well, I lost my job coaching Qazox - that's after four cups and doing really well. Alfredo Neves did well putting Jeru FC into the finals but he was retiring. Jeru FC didn't seem a bad team to take over. On the most part, they are well behaved. You look familiar ...

Mary: I'm the mother of Jacinta and Kate Sallad. I was a cyclist at the Tour de Qazox.
Ryan: Yes, that's it. You're actually a Dallas right?
Mary: Yes, my biological mother is Natasha Dallas from an accident during an IVF procedure.
Ryan: Ah, figures.

Mary: Can you push Jeru FC to another final appearance.
Ryan: Jeru FC isn't Jeruselem. It was pretty tight last time and it will be hard work for my team too.
Mary: Can you bring the success of the Qazox to Jeru FC?
Ryan: That's asking too much, Jeru FC isn't near stage Qazox is. Jeru FC needs to work a lot harder because we don't have players of high skill in our team. I mean, we lost Sadie Dallas to the Jeruselem national team last cup.

Mary: What's your relationship to the Dallas family like?
Ryan: I've met a few of them. They are just people anyone else. Yes they are weird but then people think I'm weird too.
Mary: Have you settled in your new lifestyle in Jeruselem?
Ryan: Jeruselem isn't Qazox and Qazox isn't Jeruselem. But it's nice here apart from the hot weather and crazy religious people. We also have crazy religious people in Qazox too. You lot also seem obsessed with big weapons.

Mary: Who would you support if Qazox played Jeru FC?
Ryan: I'm the coach of Jeru FC, I support my team 100%. It's my job.
Mary: Can you see a Jeruselem vs Qazox World Cup 43 final?
Ryan: Well, I don't think it's going to happen but we can only hope for this.

Mary: Thank you for your time.
Ryan: I hope to serve the Jeru FC team well as coach.
Mary: Good luck
Ryan: And as your sister Dazza says "ON YOUR BIKE"

The toboggan bounced off the cobblestones in Fort Boston Plaza as the Emperor dragged it along behind him, grasping onto the rope that just a few minutes before he'd tugged at in the vain hope of stopping before hitting the security room door. All he'd done was pull the front of the toboggan up, which didn't do much but mean the toboggan went in at a slightly different angle. One day, he thought, he'd have to try that out without pulling up the front to see what would happen differently.

The Emperor was regularly stopped by people asking to shake his hand, or just passed and said hello, or even to have their photo taken with him. Especially the attractive young girls. Not paedo young, late teens to early twenties young. Most of them blonde with blue eyes, and the occasional brunette. This was his knocked out dreaming, damnit, and it was going to go the way he wanted it to.

Wait – knocked out dreaming?

The Emperor stopped in the middle of the plaza, and looked around. He can't be knocked out just from crashing through a heavy door after bouncing off another one and ending up getting walloped on the head by a falling clock.

Falling clock? I'd never mentioned that one last time, you're thinking. Well of course not, for not only am I making this up as I go along, you're not likely to notice the thing that knocked you out knocking you out unless it was a large mallet with a sign affixed saying “I just knocked you out.” A smashed clock wouldn't have a sign on it, much less a legible one.

So, if this WAS a knocked-out dream, the Emperor supposed he could turn round to see a large slide that had enough of an angle to get him back to the security room in Fort Boston Castle, with the appropriate curves to get him there on one slide, obviously.

Oh, bother.

He turned round and the slide was there. It sure would be cool if he could have a mint-choc-chip ice-cream right about now. Lo and behold, there was one! How about if a Challenger Mark II tank slid down the slide?

Nothing happened, however some clouds in the sky suddenly became legible - “404 Error – Idiotic ideas too idiotic to write about, even in one of your RPs”

Well, the Emperor thought, there was only one thing left to do, (which wasn't find out what an RP was) and the Emperor climbed to the top of the slide, with one hand holding onto the rope connected to the toboggan. When he reached the top, he sat down and noted there was a level piece before the downward slope began. The Emperor looked around for something to push off against, and found nothing worthwhile. It sure would be nice to have that Mr. O'Bagels push him.

Of course, O'Bagels appeared, who gave a grin (returned by the Emperor, along with a wave), then turned his arms into massive springs, pulled back and ready to fire. The Emperor's face dropped. He certainly didn't want that to happen. O'Bagels waved, gave a toothy grin, and a helmet dropped onto the Emperor's head (with the chin-strap being adequately tightened) before the coiled-springs which were once O'Bagels' arms uncoiled, the pressure being pushed into the back of the Emperor, who shot off at considerable speed (with a lovely bit of airtime before landing back on the track).

Bit of a straight, slight kink right to get through the gate in the outside wall, back toward the left, through the gatehouse at the front of the Castle itself, wave hello to the lovely girl on reception before a right-hand turn into a corridor, then a sharp left turn into the security office, where for the first time today the Emperor didn't hit the door or the desk, but the front of the toboggan got trapped under a chair, leading to the Emperor being catapulted out and sliding down the wall on his face. Thankfully, it neither hurt not knocked him out. Despite the number of pans around the building, being knocked out twice in one day would have been a new record.

Or perhaps he was knocked out again and was dreaming about what he was doing while dreaming after the first time he was knocked out? He was obliged to find that out.

Man:
Good morning, I'm Merf Mann the Real Man. This is Radio Real Man, the only radio station for real men. Only girls listen to Radio Dallas. We have a special guest in the studio today. It's not a man, but a woman. Yes, we sometimes talk to women here. It's Kate Dallas, Captain of the Jeruselem World Cup 43 football team.

Kate: That's Kate Sallad, although I'm a Dallas. Kate Dallas is the Queen of Jeruselem.
Man: Oh yeah, I always get you girls confused.
Kate: That's OK Merf.

Man: You're married, so why don't you just retire to have the kids.
Kate: I need to earn money. Football is a job. Get the money while the body is still in good shape.
Man: You don't just earn money from football. You work for Jeruselem Government News, Naked News Jeruselem and do a lot of advertising.
Kate: Yes, it helps to have good looks. You can't play football forever.

Man: Since our radio station is about real men, since we only employ real men here. What's you idea of a man.
Kate:
Well, you should check out the cleaner Joe here - I think he's gay. As for what I think what a real man is, a real man is a man who can keep his girl happy in the bedroom and respect her as a mother. I don't insist my man takes care of the kids.
Man: No kids as yet?
Kate: Not yet, but we're working on it.

Man: I heard you moved into a new place.
Kate: Yes, still moving stuff into it. Planning big party when we finally get the place ready.
Man: So who's got all the money in your relationship?
Kate: Me, not because I'm greedy or something but because I've got most of the dosh.

Man: I heard Jay strays a lot. Easily distracted by other women.
Kate: I know, I get distracted too. Doesn't bother me, both of us as a bad as each other.
Man:
As a proud Jeruselemite, I'm always surprised at the women in the World Cup team. We always seem to have the best looking girls around including yourself.
Kate: This is the Holy Land, we are blessed with the riches of good genetics here.

Man: According to our polls of our listeners, you're pretty popular only beaten by Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas.
Kate: I assume the top 10 are full of Dallas girls?
Man: Yes, save for the Kool girls and a few non-Dallas football players.
Kate: I thought Radio Man hated football.

Man: Well, that was the past. We here are patriots too. Football women are hot. Anyone who says otherwise is Gay.
Kate: Good to hear.
Man: OK, I've heard rumours you've used breast enhancement to make you look good.
Kate: No way, these puppies are real (takes off her top).

Man: There's a topless woman in our studio! That's what real men like to see.
kate: OK Merf, check then out! See if they are fake. You can touch.

<Later>

Man: OK, the guys in the studio have checked out Kate's puppies. They are definitely real.
Kate: See, no silicone here. It's all real.
Man: Thanks for coming to Radio Man.
Kate: It's been all good!

QNN
Where News Happens

"This just in to the QNN studios, According to military Sources, the nation of Moonkins is now 100% completely under Qazoxian control and the former nation is now offically a territory of Qazox, now called East Qazox. Elections for a territorial governor will take place, once at least 60% of the native population swear alligence to Qazox.

On other fronts, the resistance in Certifiably insane and Sawed is slowly lessening as the population of those countries are supporting Qazox in increasing numbers.

The former president of Wickedable has offically signed the treaty with Sativaville, turning full control of that nation over to Sativaville, ending 10 days of fighting in that nation.

On the Taeshani front, we still are getting unconfirmed reports of the use of nuclear weapons by Insaneindahead upon Taeshani forces. In a statement from our Furhur, "Qazox does not condone the actions of Insaneindehead and any further nuclear attacks upon Taeshan will result in Qazox responding in kind."

Stay tuned to QNN for more news as it happens.

will not be attending world cup 43.

The Emperor was still recovering from what has been called "The Island Tempest" in unofficial circles. It was somewhat dishonorable that the Emperor should personally intervene in a situation that did not even warrant his authority. Even though the presence of distinguished guests would have been seen as "legitimizing" his arrival, the fact remains that all of the national leaders involved in the incidents acted childishly - whether that means any sense of national shame on their part is another deal (and apparently, the Bostopian people were right to attempt to dispose of him - they just chose the wrong island).

How did it all happen? Well, Yeongmu didn't want to linger on thoughts like that - instead, he preferred to consider how better to prevent himself from becoming totally involved in nonsense that would further waste money, resources, and time of the Imperial Ministries into misadventures as that. Granted, the Imperial Fleet was chasing a Mujeongbu outpost, and successfully accomplished the mission. But the costs of staying in the area were not worth the time. Fortunately, Imperial relations with the Bostopians and the Sortherners weren't too awry at the time, but these contacts with a French people - with which the Empire had no official relationships - were certainly troubling. That there were intelligible sentient humans who acted stupidly would certainly encourage those traditionalists to close up the Empire. Reasonably, the "Island Tempest" would have to remain unofficial.

CW Yun had arrived only moments before, bearing news of war on some obscure continent. A bunch of hegemonic powers were slaughtering the people and the conflict had grown to such proportions that nuclear exchange had become the front news. How would the Empire react?

"We'll ignore it."

"Ignore it."

"Yes."

CW Yun nodded, folding the parchment away to be discarded. "We'll have the Hwarang keep an eye out on the situation, but..."

"I don't even want to know about it at all."

CW Yun was a little surprised after hearing that. "Sire?"

"If we get involved in this, it will be because we knew too much to stand aside. Just simply ignore it. Keep records of it, but do not do anything with them."

"What if posterity comes to read it, and judges us harshly for ignoring it?"

"Well, posterity would judge us harshly regardless if they knew we had done worse."

CW Yun nodded in agreement. "The Hwarang will not report anything then."

"Good."

ADANAC TO HOST FRIENDLY

The brand new Memorial Stadium, in the northern city of Adanac, is to hold a friendly match to commemorate the 412 people who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks on the city five years ago. The atrocity, carried out by members of the anarchist Mujeonbu faction, caused destruction and panic in the streets of central Adanac, and the stadium has been built on the ruins of some of the buildings destroyed in the attack.

The opponents have yet to be confirmed, but the Han national team are expected to be the side to travel to the Land of the Cyan Sky. Other nations in the frame are traditional allies and friends Bazalonia, and traditional rivals Starblaydia.

It was a hot and sweaty day in a Beningrad office as the city clock struck ten. It wasn't a hot and sweaty day in Beningrad though, just this particular office as some plurk had managed to reverse the air conditioning from cooling the room down, to giving it the heat and humidity of a jungle. The office was the one used for SNFA board meeting, and so the climate was obviously not suitable for the kind of person who is on a board. It also didn't help that the Sorthern Northland national football team's manager hadn't turned up. Particularly as the meeting was about whether to extend to contract. Fed up with waiting and seemingly in danger of drowning in their own sweat the board decided to press ahead with the meeting without the team's manager present.

“Ok, we're here to discuss whether or not to keep Emperor Boston on or not, what's his record since we appointed him manager?”

“Well the team got to the second round of the World Cup, but we can't exactly credit him with that, as he didn't turn up?”

“But to be fair to him he was stuck on an island somewhere near Septentrionia, so he couldn't be expected to turn up.”

“No, that was during qualifiers, not during the World Cup itself.”

“So why didn't he turn up at the World Cup then?

“We believe he was too busy returning to Bostopia to collect a toboggan he'd ordered.”

“Right, so what's he done to prepare the team for the upcoming World Cup Qualifiers?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing at all?”

“Yes.”

“This is a disaster!”

“Why? I though we don't want to qualify for the World Cup? If the manager doesn't turn up then surely the team will be less organized and therefore more likely to fail.”

“Well yes but seeing as the team seem quite adept at managing themselves, it appears that plan is backfiring. We need to sack Boston and replace him with someone who's rubbish but does turn up. All agreed?”

“Aye.”

“So who do we appoint then?”

“How about Kevin Hugh, he's useless.”

“Hmm too useless, although we don't want to qualify for the World Cup we want to win the Cup of Harmony remember.”

“Hmm, we could put an advert out to other countries looking for a manager?”

“Excellent idea, you stay here and do that while the rest of us go down to the pub.”

----

snfa.sn>careers>national team

Are you a budding football manager? Do you always know you can do better than the muppet in charge of your team? If so you might be the perfect candidate to become the new Sorthern Northland national team manager. Hours will vary, but seeing as the team only gets together occasionally you only have to work every month or so, plus you get to attend various football matches and call it work. Other duties include, abusing referee's, arguing with other teams managers, drawing complex formations on a blackboard (whiteboard available on request), accusing other teams players of being cheats, ordering someone to lay out cones during training and getting pissed up with the opposition manager by means of diplomacy after games. The Sorthern Northland Football Association is proud to be non-discriminatory and therefore no experience is required for this job. All interested applicants should send an application letter and CV to, General Secretary, Sorthern Northland Football Association, Beningrad, Sorthern Northland.

(ooc: If anyone has any possible candidates for the jobs then TG me a short bio of the applicant.)

Jeruselem Government News

Happy Birthday Bike!

It's Dazza Dallas's birthday today. The Queen Mother is sure to have another infamous birthday bash today and she turns 70. Although she's now basically retired these days, she's not just sitting in a rocking chair with grandkids. She is some genetic freak, most us would be crippled with deteriorating memory but she's running around still playing sport and running a business although a lot of business it now being run by her kids. She doesn't like any 70 year old either, she's still got some body shape.

Dallas fan clubs are holding events to celebrate this birthday. The main event is invite only due to limited spaces. Daughter Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas said
"You know, Mum is pretty healthy for her age. Yes she complains she can't do what she used to these days but the brain is still working. The body isn't what is it used to be but she's no suffering pensioner. She still enjoys the basics of life, and hasn't lost the will to live. It's good to know I've got the right genes to live to old age."

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/wc43logo.png
Official Schedule

Scorination should generally occur in the vicinity of 7pm-9pm Central time (North America). If I've done the calculations right, this should translate for the rest of the world as follows:
Region through 25 Oct 26 Oct - 1 Nov starting 2 Nov
N. America (Pacific) 17:00-19:00 17:00-19:00 17:00-19:00
N. America (Central) 19:00-21:00 19:00-21:00 19:00-21:00
N. America (Eastern) 20:00-22:00 20:00-22:00 20:00-22:00
eastern Brazil 22:00-00:00 22:00-00:00 23:00-01:00
United Kingdom 01:00-03:00 00:00-02:00 01:00-03:00
central Europe 02:00-04:00 01:00-03:00 02:00-04:00
China/Singapore 08:00-10:00 08:00-10:00 09:00-11:00
Korea/Japan 09:00-11:00 09:00-11:00 10:00-12:00
Western Australia 08:00-10:00 09:00-11:00 10:00-12:00
Australia (Queensland) 10:00-12:00 10:00-12:00 11:00-13:00
Australia (southeast) 11:00-13:00 11:00-13:00 12:00-14:00

Thu 23 Oct BoF Final
Fri 24 Oct World Cup Qualifying Draw (Vephrall)
Sat 25 Oct Pre-Qualifying Friendlies (Vephrall)
Sun 26 Oct MD1 (Vephrall)
Mon 27 Oct MD2 (Vephrall)
Tue 28 Oct MD3 (Vephrall)
Wed 29 Oct MD4 (Vephrall)
Thu 30 Oct MD5 (Vephrall)
Fri 31 Oct MD6 (Vephrall)
Sat 01 Nov MD7 (Vephrall)
Sun 02 Nov Mid-Qualifying Friendlies (Vephrall)
Mon 03 Nov MD8 (Valanora)
Tue 04 Nov MD9 (Valanora)
Wed 05 Nov MD10 (Valanora)
Thu 06 Nov MD11 (Valanora)
Fri 07 Nov MD12 (Valanora)
Sat 08 Nov MD13 (Valanora)
Sun 09 Nov MD14 (Valanora)
Mon 10 Nov Post-Qualifying Friendlies (Valanora)
Tue 11 Nov World Cup Proper Draw (Vephrall)
Wed 12 Nov Bye
Thu 13 Nov MD1
Fri 14 Nov Bye
Sat 15 Nov MD2
Sun 16 Nov Bye
Mon 17 Nov MD3
Tue 18 Nov Bye
Wed 19 Nov Round of 16
Thu 20 Nov Bye
Fri 21 Nov Quarterfinals
Sat 22 Nov Semifinals
Sun 23 Nov 3PPo (Valanora) @ Ellime e Vephrall, Meice, Vephrall
Mon 24 Nov Final (Vephrall) @ The Battleground, Raynor City, Valanora

Key
Scorination may be slightly earlier than normal on this night
Scorination may be slightly later than normal on this night
Early scorination by Vephrall; late scorination by Valanora


The qualifying group draw will be performed live on irc.esper.net channel #nssport this Friday 24 October at 11pm Eastern (10pm Central, one hour after the end of the ranges given at the top).

A single light clicked on, cutting through the darkness of the crevasse. Then, two more, one on each side. A snap as lines were unfurled and dropped into the void. The three descended, their boots touching down and echoing throughout the cavern. Russ, Peter, and the professor detached themselves from the line and took stock of their surroundings. Having detected nothing abnormal on the surface, they'd entered an opening in the mountain created by the recent earthquakes. They wore gas masks as a precaution but could find no traces of toxic chemicals.

"This isn't just any old hole in the ground!" mused Peter, looking around. His helmet light roamed the walls and ceiling of the cavern, which were nondescript rock faces. "This had to be hollow to begin with, right?"

"I agree," said Russ, looking down before taking a few timid steps. The ground seemed solid. "The movement just cracked the ceiling a bit... so the mountain's not in danger at all. But we can't celebrate yet..."

"Because zere ees still ze cause of ze breck een ze first pless," finished von Steuben. "Zees folt vas supposed to be dett. Eef eet ees actiff, zen ze town ees still een denger."

"But there's no volcanic warning signs..." muttered Russ, as he explored deeper. The ground was slanting downwards more as he headed towards the center of the mountain. The other two followed him, taking care to mark the trail back with a chalk line.

Soon, the walls narrowed, and the cave started to look less natural. The walls were smoother. "Hey... something's not right here..." Peter said. "Is this really just a cave?" The walls ahead stopped reflecting... it looked like a chamber. They stepped cautiously into the room. Peter gulped noisily as their lights fell upon a demonic statue surrounded by undecipherable markings. "H-h-hey now... what the hell is this place?!"

********************

Jun was bright-eyed around the prince and saying something she found terribly amusing, but Tetsuya just rolled his eyes as the four escorted their royal visitors to the mess hall. He threw his arms behind his head and tried to zone her out. He turned to Joe and Chase to see if they were having any better luck, but the princess was doing the same with Chase, who allowed himself a chuckle every now and then. Colonel Simms and his attaches followed behind them.

He slowed his pace ever so slightly to match up with Joe. "Women are... monsters..." he breathed. Joe simply sighed and nodded. The group rounded the corner... just as another was coming around the opposite direction. Most everyone was paying attention and politely stood aside, but Tetsuya kept going and plowed right into the lead man. They both hit the floor. "Hey, watch where you're..." Tetsuya began, but then he got a good look at the man he'd run into.

He was a tall man with long white hair. But his face was smooth, and his movement suggested that he was fairly young. And he was decorated with the same flair and pride as a man many years his senior. He wore a pair of pure white gloves which gave him a very dignified appearance. In a flash, a host of junior officers were on hand to help him up. "You young people, always in such a hurry," he muttered, straightening his hat.

"Ah, I'm sorry about that, Colonel Brandenstein," said Simms. "Please excuse Lieutenant Tsumura, he seems to have a mind of his own sometimes."

"Hmph, it's a miracle we get anything out of a soldier like that," Brandenstein replied. He noticed Tetsuya's unit insignia. "Just because you fly a Beast Machine, boy, don't get too cocky." He turned to the prince and saluted. "Your highness, it's an honor. A word of advice; if you want to control people like that, you shouldn't go easy on them."

"I appreciate the advice," Daniel replied, "although it was an honest..."

Tetsuya saluted. "Humblest apologies, sir," he said. His voice was as without feeling as when he greeted the prince earlier. "I'll be more careful next time."

"I hope so, since next time, we'll be seeing your skills as a pilot," Brandenstein retorted, walking past with his group. Tetsuya grimaced, still in a salute, as he passed by. Brandenstein threw him a wry smile and stopped next to Simms. "As you requested, Colonel, I brought my 89th for the exercises. I trust your new toys will make it worth my while."

"You won't be disappointed," Simms replied to his colleague.

"I'm looking forward to it," Brandenstein replied, continuing down the hall.

"The 89th, huh?" whistled Jun with feigned admiration, once he'd disappeared. "So our enemy tomorrow is the elite robot squadron, then?"

********************

Peter and Russ kept their eyes locked on the demon against the wall. Upon closer inspection, the statue stood in front of a corridor running even deeper into the mountain, but they'd never reach it without moving or destroying this thing first. The markings on the walls were gruesome... flying creatures attacking men, ripping them apart, shooting them with what looked like arrows of fire.

An inscription was carved into the wall above the demon, who stood close to eight feet tall. His slender body was wrapped in a pair of tattered wings, with powerful arms and legs ended in claws. His face was that of a dragon, with a protruding snout and deeply furrowed eyes. A pair of horns poked out of the sides of his head.

The professor looked more closely at the inscription. As at first glance, he couldn't read it. There were three depressions in the rock, perfectly round hemispheres. It looked like something had been there before. "Zees ees..." he began. "Ze legend!!"

"Legend?" asked Peter. "What legend? This is just some creepy old ritual chamber, right? From natives or something?"

"You seriously don't know?" Russ said, still frightened by the room but composed enough to think straight. "If you'd paid attention in history, you'd know all about this place. About the legendary hero of Dancougar..."

With the light in the room beating down on the inscription and the demon's head, Russ related the story. "Before the arrival of the first English settlers, the natives here were tormented by a nameless evil that swept east from the mountains. It controlled men through fear and pain and threatened to spread its influence to the sea. But there was a warrior with enough spiritual energy to face the unnatural power of those demons. He had the keen senses of an eagle, the brute strength of a mammoth, and the agility and cunning of a ferocious jungle cat. He was all that was good in the world. They called him Dancougar."

"Are you for real?" asked Peter. "That sounds like some kid's story."

"That man was their defender," Russ continued, without skipping a beat. "He faced the demon lord and defeated all of his minions one by one. Even the strongest monsters were powerless against him. He chased the demons from native lands and cleansed them of the dark energy which laid them to waste, so that nature would once again thrive and prosper. In a desperate gamble, the demon lord attempted to raise his kingdom to the surface and unleash the full power of hell upon the earth. No spell was strong enough to seal the demon lord and his kingdom away, so to gather the energy to do it, Dancougar sacrificed his own life to perform the ritual..."

"So... if that's..." Peter stuttered. "If that's... then... this guy... this guy is..."

As if on cue, a rumbling started from deep within the mountain. They fell to the floor and watched as a large crack ran across the statue's chest. A red light escaped from the hole. Then a roar.

Time to get the hell out.

Scorination should generally occur in the vicinity of 7pm-9pm Central time (North America). If I've done the calculations right, this should translate for the rest of the world as follows:
Region through 25 Oct 26 Oct - 1 Nov starting 2 Nov
N. America (Pacific) 17:00-19:00 17:00-19:00 17:00-19:00
N. America (Central) 19:00-21:00 19:00-21:00 19:00-21:00
N. America (Eastern) 20:00-22:00 20:00-22:00 20:00-22:00
eastern Brazil 22:00-00:00 22:00-00:00 23:00-01:00
United Kingdom 01:00-03:00 00:00-02:00 01:00-03:00
central Europe 02:00-04:00 01:00-03:00 02:00-04:00
China/Singapore 08:00-10:00 08:00-10:00 09:00-11:00
Korea/Japan 09:00-11:00 09:00-11:00 10:00-12:00
Western Australia 08:00-10:00 09:00-11:00 10:00-12:00
Australia (Queensland) 10:00-12:00 10:00-12:00 11:00-13:00
Australia (southeast) 11:00-13:00 11:00-13:00 12:00-14:00

It seems about right for Australia, though you forgot South Australia perhaps label it Central Australia as I think the NT is also still on our timezone I may be wrong (everybody forgets this state) :(

Hang on just looking over it Western Australia is only two hours behind what you have labelled the southeast, but that is only for up to 25th October. Did WA not start daylight saving yet? Perhaps not they may have listened to the people rather than just doing what they wanted to, makes a change to state governments. Not that I mind starting a bit earlier mind just that they do it without our consent, though for SA half the state will still be in darkness on the way to work because they extended the end of it too, not that the government gives a shit about those people they live in safe seats.

Before I go on yes that seems about correct even Queensland you got right, stupid Banana benders daylight saving isn't going to make your curtains fade, fucks sake why don't people understand how it works.

Apart from all that thank you Vephrall for including this it doesn't often happen and it will be of great benefit to me rather than having to work it out getting the time wrong and just missing out by an hour.

ooc: man im always at school when scorinations happen...

In Native Tounge; The Kjomasasopian Al Bhedian Dialect
Dra Gzusycycubeyh Days ryc ahdanat dra claha,
Yht drao lnyja dra pmuut uv Secristan.

Dna tyoc yd cay, vun dra Boptalci U Vean,
Nadinhehk du uin Vnaamyht.

Uin Sycdan Nadinhat ic, Uin Maytanc cahd ic pylg,
Yht pylg fa lysa, vun dra kmuno uv dra Vnaamyht.

Dna du Wan dra vehym cluna, dra vehym kysa,
Secristan gemmehk uin cuimc vun adanhedo.

Huf, Drao crymm byo fedr drean clymbc, yc femm ymm
FRU CDYHT EH UIN FYO! KJO! MASA! SOPIANU!


FYNNEUNC! CDNEGAVUNLA! SUDRAN ENAMYHT! VYDRAN FRONCOU!
PNUDRAN SYUNE! CECDAN YCEY! ADANHYM PYDDMA YFYEDC!

In English (Rough Translation):
The Kjomasasopian Team has entered the scene,
and they crave the blood of Secristan.

3 days at sea, for the Baptism Of Fire,
Returning to our Freeland.

Our Master Returned us, Our Leaders sent us back,
And back we came, for the glory of the Freeland.

Three to Zero the final score, the final game,
Secristan killing our souls for eternity.

Now, They shall pay with thier scalps, as will all
WHO STAND IN OUR WAY! KJO! MASA! SOPIANU!

WARRIORS! STRIKEFORCE! MOTHER IRELAND! FATHER FRANCE!
BROTHER MAORI! SISTER ASIA! ETERNAL BATTLE AWAITS!

The following piece of music was written by Zavvnao Rayndcuh, A Renowned former Test Cricket Captain of Kjo Island, and now a musician in his Homeland. it has been written to support the Kjomasasopian Strikforce throughout their campaign. if you wish, you may learn how to speak our dialect for free, just by participating in our campaign. Please contact the KJO Native Lands Office via the nations NS Page: search "Kjomasasopia"

um what about Mountain time(us) not that im there but someone may be.

um what about Mountain time(us) not that im there but someone may be.

I'm sure that with Pacific and Central supplied they'll be able to figure it out.

THE ROCKET REPORT

ROSTER RELEASED

Pocono City, Newmanistan- The greatest competition in the World will soon have its qualifying underway, and as such the Empire officially released their roster to the public yesterday. On it, are many of the usual suspects such as Jeremy Brooker, Alex Parnett, Corey Hennis, and of course, Jeremy McAllister. In the starting eleven, Newmanistan will have seven players that were also starters in the previous World Cup. We look at World Cup 43 as our time to finally make the big show. The fans are expecting it. It will likely be the first time in Newmanistan that the players will be made to believe that anything short of qualification will be a failure. The media’s expectation is similar, but slightly lower. We also think it should be our time, but might give a little leeway for a “close call”, depending on the nature of it. As much as we enjoyed winning the Cup of Harmony last time, World Cup 43 sounds a lot better then Cup of Harmony 35. I, Clint Peterson, sat down with Brian Carson, as has been our custom, to discuss the roster that will be looking to go to Valanora or Vephrall.

CP: Good evening! Newmanistan will shortly be kicking off their fourth try at qualifying for the World Cup. They’ve never done this, but have had close calls in both World Cup 40 and 42. I’m with Brian Carson, the coach then, and the coach now. Hello Brian!

BC: Hello Clint! Gotta love this time, it’s a nice feeling when qualifying gets started as you have so many nations out there with such great expectations.

CP: Yes indeed. For this World Cup, the fans expect qualification, feeling that it’s time. I know you do as well, but what do you think about it being expected?

BC: It should be. We’ve had three cracks at this and haven’t made the big show. Cup of Harmony champions not named Jeru FC usually qualify the next time, so there is plenty of precedent out there. They are well aware of what Candelaria And Marquez did after winning the 33rd Cup of Harmony and feel that we should do the same thing. There’s nothing wrong with the fans believing.

CP: As good as the Empire has been and as close as it seems as we are getting, we are still just the 42nd ranked team. You might get one team from the 40's in the World Cup, but that’s about it.

BC: That is true, and there’s no reasons to believe we cannot be that team. Our confidence is high and we are certainly ready for what we will face. We’ve arranged a tough friendly schedule because that’s the best way to prepare, against the best.

CP: At Dancougar, at Milchama, and here against Secristan, who is in the Baptism of Fire final. Yeah, you didn’t make it easy.

BC: I’ve always believed in having tough pre-qualifying friendlies. Their purpose is to prepare you, and you can’t get prepared playing someone who you should be able to beat. Secristan, obviously, is a One Big Island grudge match will be good. We have the nice tradition with Dancougar, and Milchama serves as reminder of what it will take to get to the top. We have a poor record against them.

CP: Whoever you play in the second game of qualifying will be a milestone for you. Your 100th interregional game coached. How does that make you feel?

BC: That’s an honor, getting 100 managerial caps isn’t rare, but it’s an achievement, especially in this day and age where managers can be considered disposable. I have to credit the Empress for having confidence in me. I do hope this game ends up being in Newmanistan. If it does, the Empress has told me it would be the game chosen for Pocono City, and that would be quite a treat.

CP: Let’s talk about the team a bit. In goal, you go with Corey Hennis to start again. Probably an easy decision, but some think that Chris Kusler has become a better keeper.

BC: This decision is all about it being Corey’s job to lose. Chris Kusler is a great keeper, and that is why he our backup. But you have to remember that Corey has a ton of interregional experience, to the tune of 62 caps, and is in his prime right now. He is our man and I have confidence in him.

CP: The back four are Jeremy Brooker, Tony Borsinger, Scott LaFave, and Michael Harrison. No surprise with Brooker or Harrison, or Borsinger since he’s healthy. But LaFave is a surprise to some. What about that?

BC: Scott has blossomed into an outstanding defender at such a young age. As you know, we didn’t have a Di Bradini Cup this year, but if we did, I think that our fans would have been very impressed with him. Because he plays for Daytopia, he doesn’t get the kind of recognition he deserves, but he’s a lot like Brooker, and I am very excited about having Scott start. Tony, like you said, is healthy again, making that an easy decision. Brooker is an obvious selection, and it’s hard to believe that he’s still only 31 years old. I think that he’ll have a great World Cup effort, and Harrison just quietly gets the job done.

CP: I notice that you intend to go with a 4-3-3 again. In the past, you’ve held one striker back, but with going with all the speed up front, are you concerned with midfield mismatches?

BC: We have an aggressive midfield, so we do alright. I’ll make adjustments like I usually do if they are needed.

CP: The midfield returns Alex Parnett and Brett Prescott and they are joined by Dale Stevens who make the team off his Oxen Cup performance. Thoughts there?

BC: Brett Prescott is a no-brainer. Because he is out in Cafundeu now you almost forget he’s 37, because he still plays with that youthful enthusiasm. Brett will still be Brett, and I am very excited about that. Alex Parnett gets better every year, and I am happy for him and his recent signing with Albrecht Turkish. The other midfield spot was considered wide open since Chris Peterson and Kevin Carrigan are no longer part of the team, and the Oxen Cup played a big role in that decision. Brian Rafferty and Billy Cerullo had a good Cup, but Stevens did as well, and in talking to people who were familiar with that Oxen Cup team, the consensus was that Stevens seemed to be the most ready and most capable of this spot, so I look forward to having him on the team, and starting.

CP: Up front, J-Mac and Drummond are back. No surprise there. Then there’s Brett Carlson getting his first starting appearance. This is causing a lot of excitement, the anticipation of seeing these three work together.

BC: Carlson has done a fantastic job very early in his career with the poise and affinity for scoring goals and just playing smart football. He doesn’t make a lot of mistakes, so I am not concerned with putting him in this spot. He knows he has two highly accomplished veterans up front with him, and that should make the transition go nice and smoothly for him. Shawn Drummond is someone I’d like to see more goals from during qualifying, as I think something like that could be one of those little things that moves us from being a team close to qualifying to being one that actually does. McAllister is our captain again, and is just a dream player to have play for you. The goals are just the icing on the cake. Jeremy is a complete player who can do so much more out there then just find the back of the net. He’s also really a pleasure to have in the locker room. It’s been a treat watching him progress as he has.

CP: Alright, well time’s running short now so I will let you go. Thanks Brian, and I am sure we will be doing this again many times in the near future.

BC: I’m sure we will. Look forward to it!

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Han's Up, Baby, Han's Up...
by Rami Niblick in Miece

THE Aces will be rather familiar with the noble footballers of Daehanjeiguk after this particular rotation of the World Cup wheel, as the Han side were drawn against Krytenia in Group Six of the qualifiers. The Han are also set to travel to Adanac in a few weeks for a friendly match, meaning these two great nations will be meeting three times in the build-up to the next World Cup.

The two nations met in qualifying for World Cup XXXIX, with one victory apiece.

Also in Group Six will be Demot, against whom the Krytenians have a 2-1-1 record, the diehard Catholic nation of Magna Sancta Sedes, the ambitious Greal, Dariusville, unknowns Vlaskin, and unusually-named newcomers Seventy Ninth Entrant, the eighty-first nation to sign up for the tournament.

The Aces warm up with the aforementioned match against Daehanjeiguk, and against Bazalonia in Aigburth.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/wc43logo.png
Qualifying Groups

GROUP 1
(55) Kosovoe
(39) Taeshan
(165) Panuul
(15) Wentland
(3) Capitalizt SLANI
(135) Docky
(35) Yafalonia and Bazor 2
(100) Linpada

GROUP 2
(95) Thoughts of Randomness
(57) West Zirconia
(37) Prux
(33) Kelssek
(18) Yafor 2
(124) Bushdome
(165) United Island Empires
(12) Tynelia

GROUP 3
(58) Arroza
(165) Viltek
(4) Bostopia
(13) Bazalonia
(124) Kjomasasopia
(34) Jeru FC
(101) The Islands of Qutar
(51) The Macabees

GROUP 4
(50) Terreiro de Ogum
(6) Milchama
(71) Magnus Valerius
(68) Liventia
(165) Miroxia
(32) Quakmybush
(14) Ad'ihan
(165) Australiah

GROUP 5
(26) Az-cz
(64) Cokenia
(20) The Holy Empire
(165) Swilatia
(89) Urna Eletrônica
(137) Tortuga y Hispaniola
(9) Qazox
(38) Blouman Empire

GROUP 6
(10) Daehanjeiguk
(31) Krytenia
(118) Dariusville
(66) Greal
(159) Vlaskin
(165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
(19) Demot
(46) Magna Sancta Sedes

GROUP 7
(22) Jaseuyeon
(60) An Blascaod Mór
(25) Sorthern Northland
(137) Valetaland
(83) Nethertopia
(5) The Archregimancy
(48) Green wombat
(165) Onimar

GROUP 8
(23) Dancougar
(29) Lovisa
(165) The Bostopian Empire
(123) Alversia
(7) Starblaydia
(42) Newmanistan
(82) Myedvedeya
(59) Glaycia

GROUP 9
(56) Kenavt
(143) Deceased Writers Guild
(17) Kura-Pelland
(45) KaMaRi
(165) Chutnusak
(28) Septentrionia
(89) Secristan
(11) Jeruselem

GROUP 10
(165) Saturday Sport
(21) Candelaria And Marquez
(95) Cassadaigua
(30) Rennidan
(143) Colbourne
(54) Land de Wood
(53) Universitus University
(8) Cafundéu

SCHEDULE OF MATCHES
MD1: 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5
MD2: 3v1, 8v2, 7v4, 6v5
MD3: 1v5, 2v4, 3v8, 6v7
MD4: 7v1, 6v2, 5v3, 8v4
MD5: 1v2, 3v7, 4v6, 5v8
MD6: 4v1, 3v2, 7v5, 8v6
MD7: 1v6, 2v5, 3v4, 7v8
MD8-14: the reverse of MD1-7

yess wopping boys in group 3!

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: @ Krytenia (@ Adanac)
MD1: vs (46) MSS (@ TBD)
MD2: @ (118) Dariusville
MD3: vs (159) Vlaskin (@ TBD)
MD4: @ (19) Demot
MD5: vs (31) Krytenia (@ TBD)
MD6: @ (66) Greal
MD7: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant (@ TBD)
MQ1: vs Taeshan (@ TBD)
MD8: @ (46) MSS
MD9: vs (118) Dariusville (@ TBD)
MD10: @ (159) Vlaskin
MD11: vs (19) Demot (@ TBD)
MD12: @ (31) Krytenia
MD13: vs (66) Greal (@ TBD)
MD14: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant


Choe scratched his head. "A boyfriend? What kind of loser has a boyfriend?"

Laughter came out from the table - except Min. She wasn't too happy with that remark. "She should have a boyfriend."

"Why? She's got a dead-end life. No point in burdening some handsome man with her."

"Give her hope," she said.

Choe nodded. "I'll give her hope. She'll meet this guy but never get to know him." The patrons all laughed, cheered, and downed their beer. Chan put his bottle back on the table and suddenly exclaimed hoarsely (as he nearly always did), "Ya! We should have some soju. This man is hankering for some spirits."

"Soju for all!" they cheered again, ignorantly tipping their bottles of beer again.

"Ah, don't drink that piss. Agasshi! Could you please bring us some soju, please!"

Yu Gyeongae turned a little annoyed. "Her name is Seunghwa." One could imagine that Yu was more annoyed that Chan was using old honorifics, as opposed to the more modern polite structure. The name wasn't as important as was his formality.

"Ah, it's more polite that way," Chan retorted. Chan Seokgyu could be forgiven for being a little old-minded. He was old after all. He was the only person within perhaps the city limits who played the hyeongeum - an old stringed instrument that was popular in folk music some 100 years ago - professionally. He was perhaps the only man among them who was alive during the Gojong reign, and for that he was always the most conservatively minded. He always stood on ceremony, and whenever it came to addressing people, he'd almost revert to old Imperial honorifics as if to shame the person to whom he was talking. Of course, it was just a manner of habit - he had been brought up to be humble, and his very manner of living reflected that. Whenever he barked a command, it was always softened by the structure of his speech. Needless to say, it was awkward.

"I'll get some," Min replied, getting out of the chair as the patrons went on their way to cheering some more. Seunghwa was a little cast down by Choe's apparent rejection that a "loser" couldn't have some affection in life, as if her burden was to be the weight of society. But she tried to rationalize it - it wasn't her story, it was his. Moreover, it was fiction; no need to worry about fake stories.

"You know - I think I'll make it a romance," Choe then said.

"Ooh, how are you going to write a romance if you've never been in love?" Hong asked. Choe didn't seemed deterred. "I'll just write about someone looking for love but never finding it."

"That's a crummy story," Hong replied. "No one will ever read it."

"When I was your age," Chan said, starting one of his epic monologues of the 'good old days' - mostly likely referring to a time he hardly remembered. "Love was arranged. You met a girl, and you married her because your family said it was the right thing to do. And you had to stay married, because marriage wasn't about love - you loved your family, and family was what made the world go round. In fact, if you even went against the family, you were shunned from it and by extension shunned from society. You were to live alone and live rejected. Exiled. It meant a lot back then. Nowadays, kids go off and do stupid things, and they don't fear exile anymore because they turn to stupider people. Aygu - they don't know what it's like to have your life stripped from you like a bear mauling her prey." Needless to say, neither did he. "Family meant a lot to us. Now it's just a trifle that people waste on modernity. Never forget from whence you came - you may be smarter than your parents, you may be better morally than your parents, but your parents gave their heart and soul to get you here, and no matter what people will say, they will always share your blood. And there's nothing that can kill that."

A moment of silence pervaded the pub as Min brought a tray with a bottle of soju and 5 cups (carelessly, she brought a cup for her father, who was asleep already). Choe nodded his head as he took up the ceremonially role as "pourer". "And what does that mean in terms of my heroine?" he asked.

"Ah, it means everything!" Chan retorted. "Harmony! Peace! Balance! Today, people throw those words around like they're fodder coming from a mule's ass!" Important to note, he spoke with some intense ferocity that to hear him speak it so politely was almost humourous to his audience. It was the defining pinnacle of Chan's vulgarity and his humility. Of course, because he was so formal, no one dared to laugh while he was chiding.

Choe finished pouring the soju into the vessels just as Son came back into the bar. He was definitely in a rush, and dashed straight for the TV.

Yu Gyeongae was the most curious one of them - "What's the rush, Son?"

"Ah, it's probably something involving the World Cup," Hong remarked - the only person who wasn't curious. It was as if Hong knew the boy inside and out. Son reassured Hong's certainty with a quick bark - "World Cup." He turned on the TV and tuned in live to watch the World Cup Group Draw, live in Vephrall, some foreign country that remained so obscure to everyone except Son (who only knew of Vephrall in terms of football).

"... my distinguished colleague from Valanora had stated that he wouldn't be available for tonight's presentation, but then said he would. And now that he's not here, we cant' be certain if anything he has said is true at all..."

Yu Gyeongae - again curious - asked, "What the heck is he saying?"

Son quickly replied, with his head stuck in the TV screen, "They have subtitles."

"Well, we can read them if you're blocking the screen."

Son, unaware of his surroundings, backed up and sat on the edge of the chair in which Min was sitting. Despite all of her affections for Son, the way he was fully absorbed in the World Cup Qualification Group Draw was unnerving and simply having him sit was giving her the jitters. She was afraid, also, that her affections would become public, and so she took great care to continue hiding her feeling, all the while wondering how she could make the situation more amenable to herself. Maybe... offer her seat to Son?

"Why are they in a shack?" Yu Gyeongae then said.

"It's not a shack," Son retorted.

"Well, it might not be a shack in their country, but it's certainly looks like a shack. What, are they poor? Have we been invading them?"

"Shhh," Choe then said. "Not every country is as blessed as ours. And on top of that, they probably were too busy with other stuff to devote a big building to some football draw. I'm pretty sure they got the best building for the job."

"That room cannot fit 100 people, so I'm surprised that they did the draw at all in such a closed space. They should have done it outside."

"In the rain?" Son said. Only he was aware of the weather in Vephrall at the time apparently.

"In the rain," Yu replied. "What's wrong with that?"

"In my day..." Chan began another one of his long lectures. "We didn't care so much about the rain. In fact, we enjoyed the rain. Nowadays, people are afraid of it. As if it's the bearer of some ill news or some horrible disease. But when I was your age, I would go out into the fields (the rice paddies) and spend some quality time with my families. And we were happy to have the rain, because nature herself was cooling us off and showing us her appreciation for our hard work. Yes, nature relies upon us to keep the balance in force, and whenever there is an imbalance, she turns against us. That's why there's all of this talk about global warming! We're doing too much to upset the balance, and now nature is throwing her fury at us. I grant you - if we were more respectful of the balance of nature, we wouldn't be in some a quarrel with her now."

"And that has what to do with the World Cup Group Draw?" Son asked, his face still fixed to the screen. "Group 6!" he then suddenly yelled, throwing his hands into the air as if it were some joyous occasion. Chan nodded. "6 is a good number - sounds like 'calmness' in the Western dialect (i.e. Mandarin)."

Hong pointed at the TV screen, noting with some curiosity, "The commentators just said that there were homosexual referees in the Quarterfinal match between Bostopia and Cafundeu."

"So?" Yu replied. "Not every culture is as civilized as ours."

"Civilized how?" Hong asked, curious at what she meant by the term.

"Well, for starters, we educate people on the proper way to have intercourse."

"Actually, that is left to parents to decide," Hong replied.

"But all parents are taught by their parents that intercourse is male connecting to female to create energy (氣)..."

"First of all, I never learned that from my parents," Hong answered her. "Second, I'm not so certain that homosexuality is such a bad thing. Maybe the body is telling itself that it is incompatible with the rest of the gene pool and by selectively choosing the same sex, it is excluded permanently from the next generation."

"Well, if that were the case," Yu conceded, "then nature has an awkward way of weeding out weirdos."

"Nature does what nature wills," Chan added, cryptically. The scene became unusually quiet, with the exception of the Vephrese Draw Guy announcing the Group Draw and a host of commentators making unusual remarks about the selections. " - 'They really should be taking care of that drunk guy there!' - 'Actually, he's the representative from Sorthern Northland.' - 'Still... he looks pretty drunk.' - 'I don't know... he still looks ugly, even drunk. I'm surprised that they let him in through the doors.' - 'In Vephrall, they'll let anyone in. Unlike in Cafundeu, where you had to pay taxes for every word that you utters, for every breath taken, for every second of footage rolled, and basically, you were up to your neck in taxes. But if you complained, you were lodged with a complaint tax. Eh, I suppose when they run out of complaints, they'll have an tolerance or an apathy tax. That's the next evolution of capitalist taxation, I suppose.' - 'Speaking of capitalist taxation, the Holy Representative of Magna Sancta Sedes just stood up to protest not on the rosters...'"

"WTF!" Son suddenly yelled.

"What?" Yu said, surprised at Son's harsh reaction. Son turned around and noticed Min sitting passively in her chair for apparently the whole time. "Oh, I'm so sorry, agasshi!"

"It's alright," Min said, getting out of the chair, too embarrassed to do anything. "Please, have a seat." She felt like punching herself in the face a few times to get rid of the feeling, but as her father was busily sleeping in the other room, she stayed and watched the draw. Son, cautious at taking the seat, turned around and slowly sat in the chair. The regulars, shocked still by Son's harsh reaction, waited for an answer.

"What was wrong with that last one?"

"The fucking holy schismatics got in a draw with us," Son said, unaware that he was using obtuse language in front of Chan. "And now the Chairman is protesting the draw, calling it a fix. The Pope's apparently doing the same thing."

They listened to the television: "- ' Oh, what a scandal this is turning out to be. The Chairman of the IFA verbally assaulting Mr. Torossund. Thankfully, he doesn't have a translator nearby him to translate. He probably can't hear, what with some hundred people crammed into this stuffy room.' - 'That was a bad decision. MSS and the Han don't mix.' - 'Says who? MSS is a demagogic Catholic enclave. We're an open society, as the true civilized country should be. We're fine with them as long as they don't set up an Inquisition.' - 'True, but I'd expect the Catholic League at home to be a bit more irate towards the others. Thankfully, the Emperor isn't Catholic.'"

"This is going to be a horrible experience," Son said, almost dejected. "I'd gotten the season tickets to all of the World Cup Qualification Matches, and now I have to go overseas to the most ideologically... obsolete country in the world, perhaps the universe!"

"It can't be that bad," Min said, hoping to strike a conversation and finally put to rest her anxieties. Son turned his head to her (for the second time, looking anywhere else besides the television), replying, "It really can be that bad. And why are you always staring at me?"

Min immediately blushed and shrugged. "I'm sorry. I'm just... a little curious." BAD CHOICE! She blushed even more. Apparently, her staring was becoming more and more unconscious, and now in the presence of others, she realized that there was little room for her to hide in. She became afraid and embarrassed, to be exposed in front of everyone. She recoiled in panicked anticipation of jeers.

"Curious about what?" Son asked, now himself curious.

Hong - the man of powerful observation - tried to divert Son's attention to the television. "They've just drawn the Monkeys (Dariusville) against the Han in Group 6." It worked like a charm, and Son had his face glued on the TV again. Min took Hong's cue as an opportunity to escape to the kitchen, where she huddled on her bed, clutching at her bedsheets. She began to cry, reflecting about the evening - how much it had progressed. She was certain that everyone else knew about her feelings to Son, and she was now afraid about their opinions. She tried to rationalize it. They wouldn't laugh at me - they would be happy for me! Yes, love is a powerful... wait love? She didn't just think about love. But what was the alternative then? Like? She imagined how that would work out. 'I really really like you. That's why I'm always staring at you." Nah, it had to be... but she couldn't admit it. But perhaps that was her trouble - she loved him, but she wasn't ready to admit it. She still wasn't ready to admit it. But even if she did admit personally, what next? Rejected ardor? There wasn't a great possibility that Son would return the same feelings. He was too involved in football.

"Agasshi!" The patrons were calling for her. She didn't know what to say. "We're out of soju!" She didn't want to go out there and face their jeers. No, actually, she could face their jeers - it was Son of whom she feared. His rejection, more or less - she was the freaky bartender who stares at customers she loves... 'She needs to get a life and move on. I don't care about girls like that.' Did he care about girls at all? "Agashhi! He's gone!" What? She wiped her tears and crept slowly to the door, wondering if it was a trick.

She slowly peeked her head out the door, walking cautiously to the counter to fetch their soju. They didn't seem to care about her arrival. In fact, it was almost business as usual. Almost. "Could you believe the nerve of that boy?" Chan said, reflecting on Son's behavior. "How rude!"

"I'd say rather unobservant," Hong said, trying to avoid another lecture.

"Maybe, but when I was younger..." Hong failed. Needless to say, the regulars were a bit tired of listening to Chan's antics about when he was their age, but Min was perfectly happy with their conversation, especially as she wasn't the center of their attention. But what had caught her attention was the fact that they had said 'He's gone' - as if to bait her out. It was true, Son had left; but why had they remarked about that? She thought about it as she served the soju out to the patrons, exhausting yet another bottle.

"... and if you didn't pay your proper respects - oh, by heaven, you got a serious whipping. Kids these days don't know anything about respecting their elders. That's another reason why we've got global warming." Ah, Chan was the only person who could connect social immorality with natural phenomena. He turned to Seunghwa, and nodded at her. "Min Yeosaengnim (really awkwardly really formal way of "Ms."), you've got to have more courage to talk to a boy like that. Otherwise, you'll never get anywhere in life."

"What?" she asked him.

Hong tried to clarify Chan's point. "If you have feelings for a man, you should be free to express them. He's not going to laugh at you."

"What do you mean?" she asked again, realizing that they were talking about her.

"Ya, don't be so naive," Yu Gyeongae said, downing her cup of soju in one breath. "We know. Thankfully, he doesn't, but we do."

"What do you mean?" she asked again.

Choe tried his own way of explaining it, though they were all aware by then that Min was also aware that they knew of her feelings. He said to her, "You're a bit misplaced around Son Iljun, and even though he's noticing you notice him, he's been a bit cloistered to care about it. Hong asked him if he feels anything toward you, and Son simply asked him 'why' he would. I don't think Son is really worth your time, and that you should be looking for another man, but since you seem so fixed upon him, if you really want to have his attention, you've got to seize it."

"Oh," Min then said, realizing the truth then. Though she had expected condemnation or at least mockery, she was surprised to see support. Perhaps they weren't as bad as she had thought.

"Forget what he just said," Yu then said, "if you want his love, you've got to take him out of his shell and beat him up a bit." The men at the table were a bit shocked, more so than Min. "It's true. That's how I met my husband, and whenever he gets settled into old ideas, I take him out of his shell and beat him up. Of course, not literally, but figuratively. You've got to show him that there's more to life than just football or school."

"Agasshi," Chan then said, hoping to get his input to Min in time before the others corrupted her. "If you really want his attention, seek to curry his favor. If he likes football, find out what he likes about it and try to make things work for him. You don't get things done by rattling the bars of the cage - rather, you avoid the bars and work with what you have."

"Why have bars in the first place?" Hong said. "Just get rid of the metaphorical bars and be free with yourself."

"Free?" Choe said. "She's hardly at ease with us. How can you be free like that?"

"Well, she's got to learn to let go of her feelings and share them with the world..."

Min then stepped away from the table, inundated by the sudden influx of suggestions and ideas. "I'm sorry, but I've got to rest my head. It's been a bit hard for me today." A confession perhaps? Not really. She didn't have a headache, but she did want to get her thoughts sometime to organize themselves into a coherent manner. Otherwise, she was going to go insane with the massive amounts of ideas flowing in her head. Understandably, the patrons understood. Yu Gyeongae immediately took the gauntlet of cleaning up the dishes - she gathered the plates and placed them in the sink, while Min slowed trotted to the door. "Ah, Yu Sshi, you don't have to worry about the dishes," she said. Yu turned to her and said, "It's on the tab, no worries at all." Min shook her head. "Actually, it's not that..."

By then, Yu had turned the knob and the faucet suddenly exploded into a water fountain. The other patrons, realizing that this wasn't going to end well, put their change on the table for Min to pick up and took the quick exit out of the pub. Min quickly rushed to the sink to cover up the water, as her father came out to the area, half-surprised and awaken from the clamor - "Seunghwa! I told you not to use the faucet today! The plumber is coming tomorrow!"

"I know, abeojji."

"It's my fault, Ajeoshi," Yu confessed, although she tacked on her usual gruffness. "I can fix your pipes now."

"At two hours past midnight?" Hansu replied. "No! That's too much trouble. I've got the plumber coming in. I've promised him a dinner."

"Well, this faucet is already broken. I might as well fix it now."

"Ah..." Hansu thought quickly. If he did wait until tomorrow, the bar would be flooded completely, requiring floor repair. On the other hand, he was making dinner for the plumber. Which was more valuable - dinner or the floor? "Go ahead. I suppose the shower could use some fixing too." Hansu was determined to get something out from his offer of dinner. "Aygu, you had to make so much noise this late at night?"

"It's alright," Yu replied. "You should get some sleep."

"I should..."

QNN
Where News Happens

"This just in to the QNN studios, According to military Sources, with 89& of the eligible voters voting, the new governor of the district of Moonkins is Brian Scalworth. He easily defeated his challenger, the former mayor of Kilarny, Monokins; Saul Hiram, 94% to 6%. While there were a couple of incidents of police having to use tear-gas to control the crowds, there were no serious injuries or deaths reported, contrary to other news reports from outside the Continuum.

On the Sawed/Certifiably insane fronts, the resistance is weaking every day as now over 60% of both countries popluations have sworn feality to Qazox. With about 40% of the land under direct Qazoxian control, it is only a matter of weeks until this war is over.

On Wickedable, a fiendish terrorist plot to assassinate Sativaville's President has been foiled, and the responsible parties executed.

There is still no word on the Taeshani front, as all communications in the area are still being affected by the EMP bomb, which exploded almost a week ago. Unconformed reports are that the nation of Piscodemons has fallen to Taeshan and the western third of Insaneindahead is under Taeshani control as well.

In sporting news, the World Cup draw took place earlier this morning in Vephrall and Qazox has been placed in Group 5. For the second consecutive Qualifing Group, Qazox earned a Top seed and is expected to have little difficulty qualifing for a 9th consecutive World Cup.

The complete schedule (Home games in BOLD):



MD1: @ Cokenia
MD2: Swilatia @ Champions Field, Qazox City. Capacity: 84,420.
MD3: @ Tortuga y Hispaniola
MD4: Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD5: @ The Holy Empire
MD6: Urna Eletrônica @ Estadio Azul Flores, Iguana de Mia. Capacity: 71,000.
MD7: Blouman Empire @ Estadia Pika, Pika City. Capacity: 78,625.
OFF DAY
MD8: Cokenia @ Toro Rojo Stadium, Las Vitas. Capacity: 70,000.
MD9: @ Swilatia
MD10: Tortuga y Hispaniola @ Toro Rojo Stadium, Las Vitas. Capacity: 70,000.
MD11:@ Az-cz
MD12: The Holy Empire @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD13: @ Urna Eletrônica
MD14: @ Blouman Empire


Here is Qazox' record vs. the fellow competitors in this Group:

Cokenia: Never Met
Swilatia: Last Meeeting: Lost 0-4 (at Home, MD14 of WC30Q) Overall: 0-0-2.
Tortuga y Hispaniola: Never Met
Az-cz: Last Meeting: Lost 2-3 (at home MD6 WC40Q) Overall: 0-1-5.
The Holy Empire: Last Meeting: WIN 2-1 (MD2 World Cup 36) Overall: 1-0-0.
Urna Eletrônica: Last Meeting: WIN 5-0 (Oxen Cup 8 MD1) Overall: 1-0-0.
Blouman Empire: Last Meeting: WIN 4-2 (Oxen Cup 8 Semis); Overall: 3-0-0.
Combined record vs. Teams in Group: 5-1-7 (4-0-0 at Oxen Cup, 1-0-0 at World Cup, 0-0-4 at home, 0-1-3 away)


Stay tuned to QNN for more news as it happens.

Dancougar News!!
All I need is a bronze bell in my next RP, and the ripoff is complete.

Debut coach faces difficult group: When Charles DuPont was brought in after World Cup 39, it was to relieve Pat French of the dual duty of coaching Hazuki State University and the national team. There were also doubts that a college coach would have the mettle to handle the game at the international level. Well, we've come full circle, as the University of Lunarossa's Solomon Bilbao has opted to leave the school to coach the national team.

Lunarossa finished #1 in the nation's media poll two years ago and won the title last season, earning them spots in the IUCC and Samseong Series B tournaments. But Bilbao has shown interest in graduating to a higher position, which was granted when the FA's coaching search became decidedly lazy. Two D-League managers were rumored to be in talks, and no foreign names came up at all. The lack of a decision was a factor in Dancougar missing out on Oxen Cup VIII.

One now asks whether or not it's a good idea to turn to a college coach who will take over a team made entirely of professionals, many of whom play overseas. Bilbao could be forgiven if he had an Oxen Cup debut, for that would at least have given him a transition period - get used to the international game while still coaching college players, then worry about the pros. Instead, he'll be thrown into a tough group that sees Dancougar go up against World Cup 41 champion Starblaydia, rival - at long last, I think we can say it - Newmanistan, World Cup 42 almost-spoiler Lovisa, and the recent Baptism of Fire winner Myedvedeya.

Bilbao appears unfazed. If nothing else, he has the right attitude going into the tournament. "We want to take advantage of the depth we have in midfield," he said in a press conference earlier today, announcing the team's switch to the 3-5-2. "Obviously, it's hard to replace players like Jericho [Leyton] and Akira [Morimoto]. But we have some talented guys who work well together. They scrap, they run for ninety minutes, they do the little things. This won't be the prettiest team you've ever seen, but we think it'll be an effective one."

Ten groups of eight, and the top three go through. Analysts predict that any more than four losses is risky business for teams hoping to qualify, and a slow start like last time will not be forgiven as easily with so many dangerous teams in the field. Early offensive momentum will be crucial. While the midfield has been shaken up, Bilbao is showing faith - for now - in the strike force of Shishio Jinguuji and Dan Potts. Potts had a breakout in his World Cup 42 debut, leading the team in scoring with ten goals. Jinguuji clocked in with seven for a career total of 22, and he no doubt has his eye on Hideo Ikeda's mark of 30.

Group 8 schedule released: Dancougar will start its bid for a fourth consecutive World Cup appearance in Group 8. Dancougar is the group's second seed, and it's true that the top three seeds in Group 8 were all qualifiers last time around. But make no mistake - outside of Starblaydia, the middle will be muddled as teams try to get separation. Dancougar News!! presents the quick and dirty road map to the World Cup.

Matchday 1: v (59) Glaycia (National Stadium, Yuki City)
We've not done our homework on the Glaycians, who are one of the newer sides in the world. This will be our first meeting, and the pressure will be on Solomon Bilbao to prove that he's a man the FA can trust to get the job done. The Wings should start things off right, with the home fans making the difference.

Matchday 2: @ (165) The Bostopian Empire
Whatever you do, hide the cashews, roasted peanuts, and for god sakes the Brazil nuts, those suckers are huge. Well, perhaps we're overreacting, and we may be a bit late to that party, just as the Empire were a late addition to the field and weren't even in the Baptism of Fire. This is the kind of game the Wings should win; it's also the kind of game they have a tendency to draw.

Matchday 3: v (7) Starblaydia (National Stadium, Yuki City)
This will be the third meeting between the teams, and the Wings are on the wrong end of the balance with a draw and a loss. With the Horrible Hand Towels waving, will the hard-nosed tackling of the Dancougar defense and methodic, grinding runs out of the midfield be enough to stop Starblaydia's smooth passing and their tough-to-crack Purple People Eater defense? Probably not, but at least we got a trippy 70s flashback out of the deal.

Matchday 4: @ (82) Myedvedeya
These are the games you have to watch out for. While Dancougar will be the favorites in this one, they'll have to contend with a lot of difficult factors. No road game is easy. Myedvedeya should be brimming with confidence after their Baptism of Fire win, even if they start slowly in qualifying. Most importantly, THEY HAVE BEARS WHICH WILL RIP YOUR FACE OFF. And these aren't run-of-the-mill bears, either, they'll choke you with both their claws and their wit. Double whammy.

Matchday 5: v (29) Lovisa (National Stadium, Yuki City)
The balance sheet with Lovisa reads 1-1-1, 3 goals for, 3 goals against. The current matchup looks pretty even on paper as well. Fresh in the minds of the Dancougar faithful will be the 2-1 road loss in the opening match of World Cup 42 qualifying, and while the Wings would avenge that loss in the return leg, Lovisa would finish second in the group and consign Dancougar to a playoff. This match could go either way... are we really going to call this a must win? So early?

Matchday 6: @ (123) Alversia
Before you look at the rankings and call this an easy win, we should be reminded that Dancougar have dropped points like this before. We want to tell fans to expect at least a road draw, but if Lovisa get a result in the National Stadium, you have to wonder what the mood will be... a determined team which goes out and gets the result, or will a funk hang over them and drag down their pace?

Matchday 7: v (42) Newmanistan (National Stadium, Yuki City)
This is the one we've been waiting for. Four matches against the Rockets, two wins apiece... if any team can be called a rival, it must be them. It all started with two thrillers in Oxen Cup VI, and two friendlies since then. The Rockets will want to avenge the latest result, a 3-0 road win for Dancougar. They've gotten much stronger and are the defending Cup of Harmony champions. They really don't want to have to defend it.

Matchday 8: @ (59) Glaycia
We're also calling this a must-win, since the Wings could find themselves grasping at straws after the halfway point. A 3-2-2 record at that point doesn't sound too far off given the competition, so three points here are crucial. Even if the Wings are in a good position, keeping that pace is essential.

Matchday 9: v (165) The Bostopian Empire (National Stadium, Yuki City)
Three more points that the Wings must obtain. Historically, Dancougar beats this type of opponent at home, although one will recall that in the previous tournament, Linpada gave them a scare before going down 3-2.

Matchday 10: @ (7) Starblaydia
And here's a more to-the-point reason why the Wings need to collect six points from the preceding two matches: anyone who things the Wings can take a point against Starblaydia at home is a wishful thinker; on the road, they're just plain crazy.

Matchday 11: v (82) Myedvedeya (National Stadium, Yuki City)
In the last International Basketball Championships, Myedvedeya was able to create a hostile atmosphere for their opponents by importing bears to serve as their cheering section. So they know how to get the bears into Yuki City, without question. The Wings have to buckle down and just earn the win we know they're capable of, even though all that undulating black fur in the stands is not from the Hand Towels, but rather a FRIGGEN BEAR WAVE.

Matchday 12: @ (29) Lovisa
This is not a game we want to have down the stretch, particularly because Lovisa are known for sneaking up on opponents and beating them without so much as a word before or after. Perhaps the fact that they're Polish explains why they're so easily forgotten? We prefer to think they're ninjas. Also, we need a point here.

Matchday 13: v (123) Alversia (National Stadium, Yuki City)
This should be three points for the Wings, as long as the team has the good sense to play as if their lives are at stake.

Matchday 14: @ (42) Newmanistan
You have to say that the best was saved for last. While Starblaydia may have the history, Newmanistan and Dancougar have been waiting for a game like this to really take their rivalry to the next level. There's more on the line than the Golden Ambiguous Bird in Skates here... this may very well be the dividing line between World Cup and Cup of Harmony.

Courtney’s Space

This is so exciting! We just got handed our first official qualifying schedule! This is really going to happen! As great as the Baptism of Fire was, and we had a great time with it, qualification is what it’s all about. The schedule makers gave our home fans a treat too, by having six of our first seven games right here in Cassadaigua! Of course, this will go the other way at the end of the tournament, but I’m figuring this is a good deal for us. This is because we are being realists about qualifying. New nations just don’t go into an established field and all of the sudden qualify. If they did, then that would say more for the quality of the competition, that there weren’t enough good teams. There are plenty and as much as we will fantasize about Cassadaigua going undefeated like one of those fairy tale movies, that’s not the way it is in the real world. The early home games and late road games may have been a bigger deal if we were ranked higher, but it’s actually a good deal for us. Our fans can attend games, especially against the likes of Cafundeu and Candelaria And Marquez and enjoy them for the great spectacle that they are without having us already been eliminated.

The reality sets in. We have to play Candelaria And Marquez, Cafundeu, and Rennidan twice. That may make us wonder what we’re getting into. Going back to Cafundeu and playing there national team is going to be pretty interesting and expensive, but I am most excited about the game with Candelaria And Marquez here. That’s more for selfish reasons though, since that’s the league I am trying to promote Tenderville United into. As a team, we decided to set fourth place as the maximum that we could probably achieve, realistically. Land de Wood and Universitus University are a couple countries we don’t know a lot about, and Land de Wood is only one Baptism of Fire ahead of us, so we’re not about to concede anything to them. That’s not to disrespect them. I’m not sure if Universitus University is a country at all or simply an institution of higher education located within another country. We’ll all find out soon enough. I have to check out my world almanac on that one! We are the not the lowest ranked team in the group. Fellow Baptism of Fire 30 nation Colbourne is here as well as a country called Saturday Sport. Anything below 6th in the group will be considered a disappointment.

Kara: Hello, I'm Kara Kool!
Kate: And I'm Kate Dallas! THIS IS THE FOOTBALL LIFE for World Cup 43
Kara: She's actually Kate Sallad, but not many care of it's Kate Dallas or Sallad
Kate: I'm not married to the King of Jeruselem.

Kara: The group draw has been done folks.
Kate: Remember the hosts Valanora and Vephrall don't play in qualification.
Kara: They'd qualify if there weren't the hosts anyway.
Kate: Good point. We are in group sex inverted. YEAH

Kara: That's group 9 because 6 is sex to Kate here.
Kate: Hey, I want the viewers to think a bit here.
Kara: Group sex is not a group six.
Kate: One's gotta be cryptic there!

Kara: She's got sex on the mind.
Kate: Let's talk who we face in group 9.
Kara: We have 56 seed, Kenavt.
Kate: I don't think they have ever qualified.

Kara: I don't they will this cup either.
Kate: Same here, they need a bit of luck and some help of Elune
Kara: Next is Deceased Writers Guild
Kate: I hope we aren't play more bloody zombies!

Kara: Nah, they won't bother us.
Kate: Ranked 143rd, true.
Kara: Moving on, Kura-Pelland - 17th seed.
Kate: Yes, our biggest rival! They did well last cup and I predict great things from them.

Kara: A team with great history and a respected team.
Kate: A team we will respect on the field.
Kara: KaMaRi! 45th seed, and it's not Kalamari.
Kate: Jeru FC played them before, I think.

Kara: Could be dangerous but not a team I think will qualify
Kate: From past record, they'd need a good cup even to be chance.
Kara: Chutnusak ... no idea, ranked 165
Kate: Cannon fodder for everyone else

Kara: Septentrionia ... oh them ... ranked 28th
Kate: Pistachio nut throwing nut cases
Kara: Our coach is actually from Septentrionia.
Kate: But she's one of us, not of them.

Kara: OK, our coach is an ex porn star too.
Kate: What about Kate Sallad here!
Kara: You're a walking whorehouse.
Kate: I get good money too!

Kara: Secristan - Baptism of Fire runner-uppers
Kate: Making the final of the BoF doesn't mean you're gonna qualify
Kara: True, but it all helps.
Kate: Ranked 89th and still outsiders

Kara: And finally, Jeruselem
Kate: The sexiest team around with the sexiest captain
Kara: She's talking about herself here.
Kate: I'm following in the footsteps of Debbie Dallas, Dazza Dallas, Scarlet Ferris, Jane Darian, Kara Kool, Kate Dallas, Monique Alexander, Rashina Dallas and other great Jeruselem women

Kara: Kate Sallad is a Dallas. Vice captain is Flak Sho ... who married a Dallas.
Kate: He's hot too. Isn't that right Kara!
Kara: Err, we're talking football not who's whoring with who. Anyway you are married now.
Kate: So what, Jay likes a bit of side too.

Kara: Jeru FC ...
Kate: Our army boys! A fine team who qualified last cup.
Kara: How come the roster never changes for that lot.
Kate: They have a new coach!

Kara: Apart from the Qazian, no other changes.
Kate: He's a nice fellow.
Kara: You seem to like Qazians.
Kate: I'm not very racist! Apart from some countries ...

Kara: That's it from us.
Kate: Mary Sallad, that's my mother ... will be talking to Qazian Ryan Greenly - coach of Jeru FC.
Kara: Will be wearing clothes?
Kate: She works for Naked News Jeruselem

Kara: That's no then
Kate: He's Qazian, nudity is OK there.
Kara: Like here ...
Kate: You're just jealous

GROUP 9
(56) Kenavt
(143) Deceased Writers Guild
(17) Kura-Pelland
(45) KaMaRi
(165) Chutnusak
(28) Septentrionia
(89) Secristan
(11) Jeruselem

"I'm going to have to come clean here… I honest to Nature cannot remember what happened during the Group Draw yesterday. I recall seeing the bottom of a glass a lot, as well as calling over that cute waitress more times than politely possible."

I look up at Horts from the chair I am sat in, and he gives me a pathetic littleshrug and boyhood smile. This is, I would like to state for the record, typical Jerry Horts. Forty seven years old and still acting like he's just left high
school. Not that he actually went to high school, of course. He was probably far too busy protesting war or something.

Our eyes meet again, a bit more awkward this time, and I go back to my book.

"Candelaria And Marquez. We drew them and Cafundéu."

"Cafundéu, eh? They're gonna' be our ones to beat then, I take it."

I look at him again. It's one of those looks that you give someone when you want them to realize that you think they've just said the stupidest thing possible.

Or, perhaps, it looks a bit like constipation.

"You alright?" He asks, his eyebrows furrowed into a worried frown.

"Cafundéu aren't the only ones to beat in our group. Every team is the team to beat."

I consider throwing my book at his head here to punctuate my point. But that would lead to blood, concussion, media outrage, hospital visits, court appearances and too much alcohol to cope with it all for my body to handle.

Although I bet the blood would make pretty patterns on this decorative hotel floor.

I decide to just read the book in the end.

_________
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk176/rennidan/Untitled-2.png

Well, here it is, the 43rd edition of the World Cup is about to kick off. The group draw is over and done with, and we now know who Rennidan will be kicking off against. So, without further unnecessary rambling, ladies and gents, lads and lasses, Rennidan News Network's Sport Section round up of Group 10:


GROUP 10

Saturday Sport
Uh, who? Newcomers to the football scene, no doubt. We'll play them, and we will have to keep in mind they do propose a threat, but if we lose it will be one of those matches we will never live down.

Candelaria And Marquez
RIVALRY
Yes, technically, the rivalry is between C&M and the unfortunate members of the last World Cup squad, who passed away during the flight home from the opening match. Never the less, there's still tension between Rennidan and C&M, and, hopefully, this match will be one to remember, as well as one to honour those poor souls lost on Flight 109.

Cassadaigua

These guys did alright in the recent Baptism of Fire, bailing out during the third place match. They're a good team, no doubt, but Rennidan, even with their refreshed squad list, should be able to hold them off.

Rennidan
Hey, that's us!

Colbourne

Now, I've heard the name Colbourne before, I'm sure of it, but I can't quuuiiiite place the team. I don't think we've ever faced them before, so we'll probably be going into this blind, but it should still be a good match for Rennidan.

Land de Wood

We have some respect for these guys. They've recently made a name for themselves in Rennidan thanks to their World Championship of Table Tennis entrance, and they're also one of two outsides chances in this group. Rennidan has the upper hand against these guys, but Land de Wood could really pull it out the bag.

Universitus University

And the same goes for these guys, really. We've heard about them, and we know they're made up of skilled athletes. Whilst Rennidan looks a bit better on paper, we know it all comes down to what happens on the pitch, and UU could walk away with 3 points against our lads in the Eagles.

Cafundéu

Oh boy. Look who we drew. Ranked eighth in the world, fans back home in Rennidan are no doubt biting their nails in anticipation for this match. It's not the Rennidan vs. SLANI of World Cup 40, but it's probably as close as we're going to get this time round.



MD1: vs. Colbourne
MD2: @ Universitus University
MD3: @ Candelaria And Marquez
MD4: @ Cafundéu
MD5: vs. Land de Wood
MD6: vs. Saturday Sport
MD7: @ Cassadaigua
MD8: @ Colbourne
MD9: vs. Universitus University
MD10: vs. Candelaria And Marquez
MD11: vs. Cafundéu
MD12: @ Land de Wood
MD13: @ Saturday Sport
MD14: vs. Cassadaigua

The draw for the World Cup qualifiers has once again pitted West Zirconia against unfamiliar opposition. Not one of the nations in Qualifying Group 2 have played West Zirconia before.

The schedule is as follows (home fixtures in bold):


Matchday 1: United Island Empires (at STORMGroup Stadium, Mort Park)
Matchday 2: Tynelia (away)
Matchday 3: Kelssek (at Manchester Street, Moorcroft)
Matchday 4: Bushdome (away)
Matchday 5: Thoughts of Randomness (away)
Matchday 6: Prux (away)
Matchday 7: Yafor 2 (at Williamson Park, Banks)

Matchday 8: United Island Empires (away)
Matchday 9: Tynelia (at Manchester Street, Moorcroft)
Matchday 10:Kelssek (away)
Matchday 11:Bushdome (at City of Houghton Stadium, Houghton)
Matchday 12:Thoughts of Randomness (at STORMGroup Stadium, Mort Park)
Matchday 13:Prux (at KPM Stadium, Snaith)
Matchday 14:Yafor 2 (away)

In the middle of the qualifying campaign, the team hope to play a friendly against Candelaria and Marquez, but at the time of going to press we were still awaiting confirmation of the venue.

Mary: Hello, I'm Mary Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem! I'm talking to Ryan Greenly, coach of Jeru FC and also former coach of Qazox from World Cup 39 to 42.
Ryan: Hi Jeruselem, say why send a naked reporter to me?
Mary: Because, we want you to feel at home here.
Ryan: You're not bad looking either, I suppose you are a Dallas.

Mary: Let's talk the group draw! Jeru FC are in Group 3.
Ryan: Well, no Qazox here so it's all good.
Mary: Let's have a look at the teams we face. This group looks tough.
Ryan: Jeru FC aren't Qazox so any group will be tough.

Mary: 58th ranked Arroza
Ryan: They will bother Jeru FC but not the big teams in this group.
Mary: So wins against them is a must?
Ryan: Yes, this group has lots of good teams. Must beat teams like Arroza.

Mary: Viltek - ranked 165th
Ryan: Well, worst team here. Two wins for sure - or we go home.
Mary: Bostopia, 4th seed.
Ryan: I'd be happy with getting one draw against Emperor Boston team. I don't expect a win in any game against them.

Mary: Bazalonia, 13th seed.
Ryan: It's like playing Jeruselem. The Bazalopes are a good team and favoured to make the finals. I'm not expecting Jeru FC to beat them either.
Mary: Kjomasasopia, ranked 124th
Ryan: I can barely spell that, let alone try to pronounce it. But Jeru FC should deal with them.

Mary: The Islands of Qutar, ranked 101
Ryan: That low, they used to be good once. All I can say is we're not going to sympathetic to their low rank. We need two wins.
Mary: The Macabees - ranked 51
Ryan: Dark horse, fellow Jewbees like Jeruselem and Milchama but not quite as good. We must beware of the Macabees.

Mary: On paper, 34th ranked Jeru FC should grab a top 3 spot.
Ryan: Apart from those Bostopians and Bazalopes, we are favoured but we have some top 60 teams here. It's not going to be easy.
Mary: Let's talk about Qazox!
Ryan: Why not.

Mary: Group 5 - with some big teams. 26th ranked Az-cz, 20th ranked Holy Empire, Blouman Empire at 38 and Qazox ranked 9th.
Ryan: Well, yeah it's a tough one. But I have full confidence Qazox can qualify.
Mary: Who's the biggest threat?
Ryan: The Holy Empire

Mary: That's it, see you all later. See Jeruselem and Jeru FC on JGN taking on the world. Naked News Jeruselem will be covering the World Cup 43. I do have a special interest with my two girls in the Jeruselem team.
Ryan: Oh yes, your kids.
Mary: I've got the munchies now ...
Ryan: You can use the army canteen. You don't need to pay.

Mary: I'm not exactly wearing anything.
Ryan: This is the army, don't worry ... they'll be happy to have you there.

GROUP 3
(58) Arroza
(165) Viltek
(4) Bostopia
(13) Bazalonia
(124) Kjomasasopia
(34) Jeru FC
(101) The Islands of Qutar
(51) The Macabees

The Miroxian Sports Inquirer

Mountain Goats Release Schedule, Train Harder For World Cup XLIII

If you didn't here it here first, you some illegal moron leaking stuff off the internet! That's right, people of Miroxia, the official Miroxian Mountain Goat World Cup XLIII Schedule has been confirmed and released by Coach Gay, Sr. It is as follows (Miroxia in bold).

MD1: Liventia vs. Miroxia
MD2: Quakmybush vs. Miroxia
MD3: Terreiro de Ogum vs. Miroxia
MD4: Miroxia vs. Magnus Valerius
MD5: Miroxia vs. Australiah
MD6: Ad'ihan vs. Miroxia
MD7: Milchama vs. Miroxia

MD8-14: Switch Miroxia with other team.

Also, in an interview with Coach Gay, he reported: "My team is training their hardest and trying their best. That's all I can ask of them."

So, will Miroxia win the title? Probably, no, but we hope to get pretty far. Don't get your hopes up, people.

Arrozan Ministry Of Sport > National Teams > Soccer > World Cup 43

Group Draw, schedule and prediction thread. With Would Cup 34 upon us, we finally have a chance to see who the Tar Hornets are going to get lose points to in this latest installment of the world's game. Personally, we're all waiting on World Bowl 4. Of Course we'll have our say, and you can tell us why we're wrong in the comments.

Teams:

# 58 - Arroza – We've consistently underperformed in the World cup with full funding and a somewhat proper coach. Now we have almost no funding...the coach, Al Valente couldn't get off the bench and into the game during the last qualifying run, ohg and did I mention we have no money? The players are actually paying for some of the expenses like balls and padding. They give us just enough money so that we don't go the Rennidan Brutes, or Basketball Stunters route and get passionate, but not enough to be world class.

#165 – Vilitek – They don't pay the team...you really think they're going to pay us to go to Vilitek and scout? We need six points, nay we must have six points from them, or else sixth place here we come.

#4 – Bostopia – The Emperor likes to toboggan...inside. The Emperor was on a desert island. The Emperor like to wear short shorts, or less if possible. Emperor, Emperor, Emperor. He does a great job of Zaphob Beeblebroxing everyone, and keeping them looking at the Emperor, while their armies, and their soccer team rolls along like some sort of juggernaut thingy. Oh, and they were in our group last year. Bostopia scored 6, we scored 1.

#13 – Bazalonia – I think we had them last round, too. Yep, this is not a good sign, two more games, probably two more losses. Last go-round, we lost 3-6 at Government Park, and 1-2 in Bazalonia. Yay.

#124 – Kjomasasopia - With the nightmare fuel portion of our group over let's look at Kjomasasopia. We know they're Maori of some sort, and that they seem quite fierce. So what. This is Arroza. We're a country founded by violent prisoners. We get worse things in our breakfast cereal.

#34 – Jeru F.C. - Jerusalem's army contingent's done pretty well for them self, getting a reputation for being more than, “that place where the Dallasses sent their not quite ready for prime time kids”. Note: The match against Jeru F.C. Will be played in the Province of Seclusion Coast, which has less stringent laws regarding nudity.

#101 – Islands of Qutar – We've got nothing.

#51 – The Macabees – Our closest competition in this round. We get 3 points from them, we're doing okay. Take 4, we're doing good. Take 6, we're flying high.

Schedule

MD1: The Macabees
MD2: @ Bostopia
MD3: Kjomasasopia
MD4: @ Islands of Qutar
MD5: Vilitek
MD6: @ Bazalonia
MD7: Jeru F.C. - @ Costa Norte, Seclusion Coast
MD8: @ The Macabees
MD9: Bostopia
MD10: @ Kjomasasopia
MD11: Islands of Qutar
MD12: @ Vilitek
MD13: Bazalonia
MD14: @ Jeru F.C.

Comments?

Black Brigadier – Atalanta, C.D. 10/22/42 : 18:20

I still don't believe that this team's going to do anything but crater, with the Ministry not giving a damn! You need to start paying attention to the people again!

Mr. Numbers – Rockport, L.T. 10/22/42 : 18:37

The Ministry did pay attention to the people, fool. Football draws 75,000 people a match. When it came to Rockport in World Bowl 1, we put 85 thousand in the stadium. Soccer draws, what 14,000 people for a game in Atalanta? Get serious.

Kylie – Evangeline, Evan. 10/22/42 : 21:59

Ugh, Seclusion Coast? They're all inbreeds up there, right? [user banned for violating rule 4]

Black Brigadier – Atalanta, C.D. 10/22/42 : 2235

The football team also gets songs written about them by rappers, wall to wall TV coverage on ASN, and banners hung from every corner in town when a game's coming. Soccer drew 14,000 people without the Ministry even telling people anything outside the date and location. Lamp off.

Keep It Real – Playa Real, L.T. 10/23/42 :1015

4, now 5 comments in 18 hours. Tells me all I need to know.

Add Your Comment here!

"Welcome, this is the Nethertopian Public Broadcasting Channel, with NPBC Sports. My name is Jens Werner and I'm your host for today. Our topic on this show is, of course the draw. Later, on NPBC Sports Discussion, we'll have a show with Trevor Organ, Wouter van Dalen and Tycho Gerbrands, who will join us to talk about everything around the qualifiers. But first, the draw."

[screen flashes to show the Nethertopian draw as seen below]

GROUP 7
1 (22) Jaseuyeon
2 (60) An Blascaod Mór
3 (25) Sorthern Northland
4 (137) Valetaland
5 (83) Nethertopia
6 (5) The Archregimancy
7 (48) Green wombat
8 (165) Onimar

"As you see, we're having a difficult draw, as always. Since we didn't participate in WC42 and didn't have had the best results in WC41 & 40, we've dropped a few places and are currently holding a 83rd place on the rankings. This will drop, as we will lose all our BoF and WC40 points after this tourney. So it's a must that we proceed to gain as many points as possible. A full analyse will be provided soon. Next up is our schedule."

[group screen changes into match day screen]

PQF1: The Archregimancy v Nethertopia, In the desert, some time.
PQF2: Nethertopia v Candelaria And Marquez (The Battle for Rushmore), Falcon Stadium, 20:30
MD1: Valetaland v Nethertopia, TBA
MD2: The Archregimancy v Nethertopia, TBA
MD3: Jaseuyeon v Nethertopia, TBA
MD4: Nethertopia v Southern Northland, Falcon Stadium, 20:30
MD5: Nethertopia v Onimar, Home of the Dragon, 20:00
MD6: Green Wombat v Nethertopia, TBA
MD7: An Blascaod Mór v Nethertopia, TBA
MQF: Jeru FC v Nethertopia, TBA
MD8: Nethertopia v Valetaland, Home of the Dragon, 20:00
MD9: Nethertopia v The Archregimancy, Falcon Stadium, 20:30
MD10: Nethertopia v Jaseuyeon, Falcon Stadium, 20:30
MD11: Soutern Northland v Nethertopia, TBA
MD12: Onimar v Nethertopia, TBA
MD13: Nethertopia v Green Wombat, Home of the Dragon, 20:00
MD14: Nethertopia v An Blascaod Mór, Home of the Dragon, 20:00
PQF1: Nethertopia v Arroza OR Arroza v Nethertopia, TBA
PQF2: Taeshan v Nethertopia, TBA
All times are GMT+1.
Falcon Stadium has 90,000 seats, located in Peregrinus City
Home of the Dragon is a 65,000 seater, located in Tenderville

"This is a tough roster, considering we're going to start the first three matches away. Valetaland is our first team we're going to face, they should be fairly beatable. But after our first match, we're going to travel to the Archregimancy... Our toughest opponent by far. These guys are 5th on the KPB ranking and wooah... Are they going to be difficult to beat or what?
This concludes our first half of the show, we'll be right back after the NPBC News with NPBC Sports Discussion, when Trevor Organ, assistant manager of our beloved Falcons, Wouter van Dalen, goalie for NAPPC and captain in the Falcons' last Oxen Cup campaign, and Tycho Gerbrands, our personal football analyst, will join us to talk about the draw, our nation's team, our chances of reaching the World Cup group stages and some other topics. We've also opened a poll on our website, http://www.npbc.nth/sports. The question is, will Nethertopia qualify itself for the World Cup group stages? Yes/No. Just log on to the site and vote! We'll be right back after the news."

*****

W: "Welcome back to NPBC Sports. I'm here today with Trevor Organ, who has just joined me to talk about the draw and more. Welcome, Trevor."

O: "Thanks Jens, it's always a pleasure to be here."

W: "Also joining us is Tycho Gerbrands. Good to have you here."

G: "You guys can always count on me."

W: "And last but not least, we've got Wouter van Dalen, completing our quartet of today."

D: " 'evening To you all, gentlemen."

W: "Let's start with Trevor. What do you think of the chances for the Falcons to progress?"

O: "It's definitely a difficult draw. If you look at it, we've got five teams atop of us, in KPB rankings. These are the teams for us to beat. I think we have a little chance to qualify, but it's very little indeed. Valetaland and Onymar shouldn't be too much trouble, and An Blascaod Mór is beatable, but teams above those will prove very difficult to beat indeed."

W: "Yes, I see. Next question, for Tycho. We've played Green Wombat three times before, in the World Cup qualifiers 40 and in the last Oxen Cup. This country is actually the country we've faced the most, together with Qazox. Our stats against them are at the moment 1-0-2. Are they beatable?"

G: "It's possible, but they're going to have an off day and we must be lucky. I don't see why it's not possible, but it's not something we should expect. Especially the away game will be tough. The Wombats wouldn't want to lose in one of their stadiums against us for a second time in a row."

W: "Ok. Wouter, in WC41 we've faced Soutern Northland before, resulting in a 1-1 tie and a 2-1 loss. Are we able to better this score?"

D: "It's possible. Everything's possible in football. I've seen world star teams losing to pre-teen amateurs. If I see our squad, then I'm seeing a lot of potential. Guys like me are on our way back. Abby and Ron are quitting the national squad after the whole happening, but there are new guys on the way. Greg is a really good defender and JP & Jean are doing a splendid job at the Marbles. They're currently in the top 4 of the competition and both have scored their fair share of goals. But, the ball is round and it's just a gamble. We'll see what happens on the pitch."

W: "Abdoulaye Soro has indeed admitted that he'll stop playing football for our nation after the World Cup. There are a lot of speculations who will take over the armband after he quits. You've been the captain in the last Oxen cup campaign and captain of NAPPC, so you're the favourite to take it over. Is that correct?"

D: At the end of the tournament I'll be two years older, 34. And that's probably going to be my final tournament. I think that our Falcons need a steady captain, who's able to fulfil his role for more than two years. We'll need stability. And I don't think I am the right person to bring that."

W: "In that case, Trevor, since you'll be involved with the team until WC45, who's going to be captain?"

O: "First of all, I might be involved in the team. Nothing is sure. My contract could not be lengthened or I might not even want to be the manager anymore. That's far away. And this is not something we're going to discuss on national television. I'm sorry, but that issue is between The Scout, the team, the staff and me."

W: "That's too bad. Speaking of The Scout, he seems to be a brilliant coach. He led the team to the quarterfinals of the last Oxen Cup. What's your opinion on that, Tycho?"

G: "I agree on you completely, Jens. It seems that The Scout and Trevor surely are a winning combination. Those two are by far the best managerial couple we've had for the Falcons."

D: "I don't agree on that completely, in my opinion Rob Kietecs equals those two. I mean, he led us to the quarterfinals of our BoF and he did a fine job coaching us through two WC qualifiers."

G: "Yes, he's a great coach as well, but I personally think that the couple that's at the helm of our team right now is a grade higher than Kietecs. I mean, The Scout had 20 years of experience as... err... Scout in football and he's a tactical genius. And Trevor is the charismatic type that's able to push the most out of players, with experience as head manager as well. He has a CMSC title on his name and some really good performances with C&M national teams too."

O: "That's really flattering, but I myself admire Kietecs as well. He's almost 60 now, but still going. I think he's going to bring Tenderville United into the CMSC1, for sure."

W: "Ok guys, Kietecs, The Scout and Organ are all three pretty good managers. Now for the nest topic, our poll just closed. And 72% of the voters say we're not going to make it to the World Cup. How about that, Tycho?"

G: "I could've predicted that some similar result would pop up. It's only logical, because the chances of us qualifying are actually rather small."

W: "Wouter, do you agree on that?"

D" "Yes, this is true. Our team has a lot to learn and we never quite made it. But maybe this time it's our year. We'll see about that."

W: "Trevor, anything else to add?"

O: "I think Wouter and Tycho said it all. We're going to give it all and try to qualify. And otherwise we'll go for the Cup of Harmony."

W: "Thank you guys for joining me, and for the inspiring discussion we had. This was all the time we had for today, this program will be repeated tomorrow around eleven o'clock in the evening. This was NPBC Sports Discussion, good evening."

THE ROCKET REPORT

GROUP EIGHT TOO GREAT?

Pocono City, Newmanistan- That collective sigh you heard across the Empire was when the Rockets were drawn into Group 8. Newmanistan’s pot was the next to last to be drawn out of, so at the time the opponents were known right away. There had been a lot of optimism around Newmanistan that this would be the first World Cup that we would qualify for, and now we get this. But wait, cheer up! There are three transfer spots to the Cup proper out of this group, not two. So if we concede that Starblaydia will qualify, the Rockets have to find a way past either Dancougar or Lovisa. Dancougar? Yeah, that’s tough on paper, but we got plenty of experience against one another, and when the Rockets and Black Wings play you can take your KPB rankings and throw them right out of the window. If not Dancougar, then there’s Lovisa, the silent assassin. Why not? Why the heck not? Exactly. There’s no reason to think that we can’t get in that top three. So cheer up, all you loyal Newmanistanian footballheads, because the Rockets can get this job done. There’s danger below, too. Glaycia is a threat, and the reigning Baptism of Fire champions from Myedvedeya will be looking to make an impression. That’s alright, because these clubs will be playing Dancougar and Lovisa too. Alversia and The Bostopian Empire are our other opponents. We should take them.

Let’s now take a little look at the Rockets history against each opponent, in order of their KPB ranking:

Starblaydia (7): Newmanistan has a ton of experience playing games in the land of Di Bradini, and some of our greatest moments as a nation have happened in Starblaydia, such as our Baptism of Fire title, and Di Bradini successes. Altogether, Newmanistan has a record of 34-2-4 in games played in Starblaydia. None of them, however, have been against the Purple People Eaters themselves. The nations have one meeting to speak of and it came in a pre-World Cup 40 friendly played in Pocono City, a game won by Starblaydia, 2-0. It’s safe to say, things are a little different now, but that goes for both teams. In a crazy turn of fate, Brian Carson will get his 100th managerial cap against Starblaydia (game will be played in Carson’s Pocono City). Fitting, isn’t it? Newmanistan has yet to get a point against the top seed in the group in qualifying, but maybe fate will have Carson get a little 100th cap present. Jeremy Brooker also hits cap #100 in this game. Jeremy McAllister will also be honored for his, although this will be #101 for him. #100 for J-Mac comes in The Bostopian Empire on MD1.

Dancougar (23): The rivalry has been brewing between the Rockets and the Black Wings. It was natural from the start, back to back Baptism of Fire champions, and both from something called the Keystone State. It began in the 6th Oxen Cup, where the teams split a pair of games, with the Rockets getting the one that counted in the semifinals. This led to the birth of the Golden Ambiguous Bird in Skates friendly tradition, which still will enter it’s third version despite the teams being drawn into the same group. The teams have split those two friendlies thus far, and to make matters better, each winning on the others turf. And this is just the football aspect of it. There’s another football, the Gridiron variety, where Dancougar and Newmanistan have had some great battles as well. That’s been a little one-sided in favor of Dancougar, though. Then came the recent World Lacrosse Championship, where Newmanistan knocked out Dancougar in the semifinal. In order for a rivalry to be great, it can’t be one sided. Both teams have to have a measure of success against the other and that’s what has happened with Newmanistan and Dancougar. Both have had their moments. Now, both are in the same qualifying group? Well, let the fun begin!

Lovisa (29): The “Silent Assassin”. You don’t hear much from this nation during the competitions they participate in, but they actually have a long history of sporting events that they have played in. Perhaps, the Lovisans will look for some World Bowl redemption against us. Also, they recently had a strong performance in the most recent World Lacrosse Championships before bowing out in knockouts. On the pitch, they had their first meeting recently in Oxen Cup 8, a game won by the Rockets by the score of 3-2. These two games will be vital for Newmanistan, so don’t miss them!

Glaycia (59): The Rockets have never crossed paths with Glaycia in anything. With them lurking as a spoiler, you better believe that Brian Carson will be doing some quick studying on this team to make sure that Newmanistan gets six points. It’s not going to be easy, but slipping up against this team can’t happen. Perhaps, we would settle for a win and a draw, but it’s not time to think about that right now.

Myedvedeya (82): The Bears have won the Baptism of Fire and now get set to embark on qualifying. They haven’t been placed in an easy group to do this, but we expect this team to have plenty of fight in them. With a couple of their key players playing professionally in Newmanistan now, they will definitely be looking to put on a show. Perhaps though, Newmanistan will benefit that their keeper, Boris Bykovsky, plays for Brian Carson in Pocono City, making Carson knowledgeable on where Bykovsky is weak. We have the feeling that the Bears are going to get a big upset win over someone in the group. Go get it against Lovisa for us!

Alversia (123): When you’re the fourth seed in a group that sends three to the World Cup, there’s no time to choke. All Alversia on the schedule means for us is six points that we better get. Up to World Cup 42, these games had been danger games for us, with a 5-1-6 record against the bottom two seeds in a group, but in the last cycle, we rebounded nicely to go 5-1-0 in the group against the bottom three seeds. Let’s make that trend continue.

The Bostopian Empire (165): Other then having some kind of apparent tie to Bostopia, we don’t know too much about this team. They signed up very late in the process, and did not participate in the Baptism of Fire. They are also our first opponent. Brian Carson, you better be finding something on them!

Our schedule is as follows:

Friendly 1: @ Dancougar
Friendly 2: vs Secristan @ Pocono City Stadium
Friendly 3: @ Milchama
MD1: @ The Bostopian Empire
MD2: vs Starblaydia @ Pocono City Stadium
MD3: vs Myedvedeya @ Tundra Falls Proving Grounds
MD4: vs Lovisa @ Loudon Stadium
MD5: @ Alversia
MD6: @ Glaycia
MD7: @ Dancougar - @ National Stadium, Yuki City
MD8: vs The Bostopian Empire @ Centralia Stadium
MD9: @ Starblaydia
MD10: @ Myedvedeya
MD11: @ Lovisa
MD12: vs Alversia @ Putnam Lake Stadium
MD13: vs Glaycia @ Southport Stadium
MD14: vs Dancougar @ Dover Field
Post-Qual Friendly 1: vs Myedvedeya @ Pocono City Stadium
Post-Qual Friendly 2: against Rennidan, site TBD

It was generally peaceful, at least.

Most of the hubbub about the last few months had finally died down and things were pretty much back to normal in Cimnersog.

After years of being virtually ignored by the bigwigs down in Meice, the people of Vephrall's Northern Territory had had enough. On 17 September 1762, they officially requested independence from Vephrall. The feds discussed this for a week or so, and ultimately stopped short of granting the territory true independence. Instead, the newly-renamed territory of Panuul operates as an autonomous region still technically owned by Vephrall.

One of the first things Panuul did upon being granted self-government was to set up its own football association. However, currently the only thing the FAP (they named it in English to de-emphasize any connection with Vephrall) is responsible for is Panuul's inaugural entry into the World Cup. After all, there is currently just one professional club in Panuul, DFE Cimnersog, which plays in the fourth tier of Vephrese pro football in the Northern League.

The Panuul national team basically consists of a portion of the DFE Cimnersog roster. Other Northern League clubs aren't particularly happy about this, as it will likely lead to a lot of rescheduled fixtures throughout the season.

All Panuul home games will take place at the newly renamed Panuul Field, the home ground of DFE Cimnersog. Panuul Field has a capacity of 1,500 (300 seated), enough to accommodate a significant fraction of Panuul's total population of 16,307.

"I. Hate. Monkeys." Professor Douglas sighed. "Tell me guys, why do we have to do this, again? The first time with these monkeys was bad enough..."
The managers of the Dariusvillian ninja-monk-monkeys national team were sitting in a bar, somewhere in Dariusville.
"Because if we don't, the party will make us disappear," replied brother Jeffrey. "And we did come in fourth in the Baptism of Fire when we participated."
"Sheer luck, I say," said Douglas.
"At least we didn't have to train all those bloody monkeys again," mentioned Bob Harrington. "I mean, they're still the same. Just a little bit older."
"We'll see how they will play. I mean, Deahanjeiguk, Demot, Krytenia, Magna Sancta Sedes and Greal are heck a lot better than we are. I don't think we're able to beat them."
"We can try," said Kamutsa. "That's all we can do."

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: ---
MD1: @ (10) Han (@ TBD)
MD2: vs (31) Krytenia
MD3: @ (118) Dariusville
MD4: vs (66) Greal
MD5: @ (159) Vlaskin
MD6: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD7: @ (19) Demot
MQ1: ---
MD8: vs (10) Han
MD9: @ (31) Krytenia
MD10: vs (118) Dariusville
MD11: @ (66) Greal
MD12: vs (159) Vlaskin
MD13: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD14: vs (19) Demot

The Catholic Times

The Times Are Against Us

Pope HONORIFICABILITATIBUS went to Vephrall to participate in the ceremonial World Cup Qualification Group Draws, to mild disappointment, as the cult of the numbers had apparently fixed the results against the Most Holy Representative Football Team of Magna Sancta Sedes. "This is a travesty for all good and noble Catholics," His Holiness reported after leaving the vacuous halls of the Group Draw Center. "They've stuffed the Holy See in a vicious group of diabolic forces and otherwise religiously impotent countries."

The country that garnered the most criticism from the Group Draw (besides Vephrall) was Daehanjeiguk - "the inconsistent and unreliable hosts who have no common familiarity with what is the righteous course." Doubtless, the first match against the Han will be a tense and tough one, as many people from that country view MSS as a "backwards, corrupt, unimaginative country." It is ironic that there were rumors at one time that Catholics from the Han Empire were reputedly bribing officials during WC42Q, but these reports were never substantiated to the extent that MSS began investigating them. Nonetheless, there will be some tension between our two sides.

The other hotspot would be the relatively unknown peoples of Krytenia. Having just thrown off the yoke of their monarch - who sold her country out in marriage - the Krytenian people were met with calamity as one of their fine cities was utterly demolished in terrorist attacks. While the Holy See does not condone terrorism, we figured that the Krytenians were being punished for something, so they're probably not a very righteous people either. The rest of the group appears to be completely unknowable, especially the Vanorian vassals of Demot and the devil's rejects of Greal. "Any team with a rank of 66 deserves to be chewed thoroughly and cast to the fire of burning vine twigs," remarked one priest.

On a note about numbers, we've got the whole deal for you here.

The Average Rank of the teams (by rank): 102
The Average Rank of the teams (by KPB): 16.60 (#37)
The Standard Deviation of the Ranks of the Teams (by KPB): 13.67
The Range of the Group by the Subtraction of the Greatest Tier (Avg+STD) to the Lowest Tier (Avg-STD): 27.34

Considering that our team is in the lower tier, I find our qualification prospects to be very grim. That said, having displaced one of the top seeded teams in the last World Cup Qualification, anything is possible (including another trip to the play-offs (ed. There are no playoffs) and suffering horribly by a team of football-playing zombies). May God Help us.

The IFA Sub-Ministry of Numbers would like to present to the world a new competition! In the course of our time, we've discovered that by playing with numbers, we could create a better ranking system than the already existing KPB system (ed. oh really?). The problem is that no one is going like adjusting ranks after every match just to get a more "accurate" (ed. I doubt that it's more accurate, maybe more annoying) rank. So, in the spirit of doing things right, the IFA Sub-Ministry of Numbers is going to be managing this ranking system for all to see but not use (ed. that makes no sense - why do it then?). As this season is going to be our inaugural season, we'll be also performing tests to determine if this system will work in practicality (ed. wait, you don't even know if it's going to work?). To compensate people for their time, we're offering rewards to the performing teams according to our ranking system. As the ranking scores will change after each match, ranks will also likely change. As such, we have decided to offer rewards in the following categories:

Most points earned (each match)
Most ranks earned (each match)
Most points earned (total)
Most ranks earned (total)
Most points lost (total)
Most ranks lost (total)
Best sportsmanship (total) (ed. what the heck does the rank have anything to do with this?)

With that said, we'd like to offer your first look at the IFA Ranks:

1 Valanora 912.66
2 Zwangzug 878.23
3 Capitalizt SLANI 877.34
4 Bostopia 875.45
5 The Archregimancy 867.20
6 Milchama 856.04
7 Starblaydia 855.82
8 Cafundéu 850.43
9 Qazox 847.18
10 Daehanjeiguk 847.00
11 Jeruselem 846.26
12 Tynelia 845.66
13 Bazalonia 844.22
14 Ad’ihan 840.34
15 Wentland 840.26
16 Vephrall 840.12
17 Kura-Pelland 837.97
18 Yafor 2 837.47
19 Demot 834.91
20 The Holy Empire 833.27
21 Candelaria And Marquez 829.08
22 Jasīʼyūn 827.67
23 Dancougar 825.09
24 Bettia 810.08
25 Sorthern Northland 809.10
26 Az-cz 801.08
27 Sel Appa 797.39
28 Septentrionia 797.05
29 Lovisa 794.99
30 Rennidan 790.63
31 Krytenia 789.25
32 Quakmybush 787.72
33 Kelssek 784.99
34 Jeru FC 780.77
35 Yafalonia and Bazor 2 778.50
36 Northern Bettia 770.68
37 Prux 768.75
38 Blouman Empire 767.08
39 Taeshan 766.37
40 Squornshelous 764.79
41 Casari 761.91
42 Newmanistan 749.96
43 Kose and the Turkomans 743.80
44 Kereca 743.22
45 KaMaRi 728.75
46 Magna Sancta Sedes 723.70
47 Acapais 722.86
48 Green wombat 722.47
49 Nire and Nire 719.31
50 Terreiro de Ogum 715.80
51 The Macabees 713.28
52 Kiryu-shi 695.23
53 Universitus University 693.04
54 Land de Wood 688.94
55 Kosovoe 684.47
56 Kenavt 679.61
57 West Zirconia 671.99
58 Arroza 655.57
59 Glaycia 654.06
60 An Blascaod Mor 648.62
61 Jariss 625.09
62 The Pazhujeb Islands 624.83
63 Kanji Starter 624.61
64 Cokenia 624.24
65 New Zomboria 622.32
66 Greal 616.83
67 Cypron 615.96
68 Liventia 610.92
69 Gweridijongya 601.05
70 Dance 2 Revolution 599.26
71 Magnus Valerius 597.90
72 Vonks 596.83
73 Spazican States 595.26
74 Legalese 590.18
75 East Ying 584.31
76 Orion Star Empire 583.71
77 Icy Cold Death Touch 580.40
78 We Hate Football 577.52
79 Ron Paulovia 574.56
80 Lithima 568.77
81 Cauci 565.17
82 Myedvedeya 564.52
83 Nethertopia 557.65
84 Algal states 550.64
84 Kolanderaz 550.64
86 Aleos 550.02
87 Dennisov 542.97
88 Fujisawan Territories 541.47
89 Free Krytenian Rebels 540.29
89 Kansiov 540.29
89 Roddyville 540.29
89 Secristan 540.29
89 The Indonesian States 540.29
89 Urna Eletrônica 540.29
95 Cassadaigua 533.28
95 Thoughts of Randomness 533.28
97 Tokyoni 528.85
98 Wijaska Island 524.75
99 Hryvinia 522.64
100 Linpada 520.49
101 Pablicosta 516.06
101 Scotchpinestan 516.06
101 SFRS 516.06
101 The Islands of Qutar 516.06
101 United Hetzel 516.06
106 Solenial 513.77
107 Abaio 509.05
107 Agroprom 509.05
109 Bearbears 501.56
109 Corivia 501.56
109 Fmjphoenix 501.56
109 Hockey Canada 501.56
109 Naggetski 501.56
109 Nehrland 501.56
109 Zarbli 501.56
116 Europa Brittania 496.26
117 Novapsolu 493.52
118 Dariusville 484.83
118 Eighthgraderistan 484.83
118 Kirrin Island 484.83
118 Ruskastan 484.83
118 SouthSuburbia 484.83
123 Alversia 466.82
124 Bushdome 465.03
124 Frontenax 465.03
124 Ixania 465.03
124 Kjomasasopia 465.03
124 The Daleks 2 465.03
129 Ma Raque 463.21
130 Beer Served Here 453.59
130 Hopeless SC 453.59
130 Krasslor 453.59
130 Lethislavania 453.59
130 Pantocratoria 453.59
135 Docky 450.53
136 Unified Beretania 440.80
137 Tanah Tinggi 433.80
137 Tortuga y Hispaniola 433.80
137 Valetaland 433.80
140 Aqua Teen Hungerland 426.30
140 New Cimeran 426.30
142 Prazkoy 422.36
143 Colbourne 414.00
143 Deceased Writers Guild 414.00
143 Mantwenic 414.00
146 East Antairees 409.57
146 Uiri 409.57
148 Kannone 402.19
149 Maimeiras 389.77
149 Sesquipedalianist 389.77
151 Tomarian 367.99
152 Hopeful SC 365.55
152 Iansisle 365.55
152 NS Illegal Immigrants 365.55
152 Ofedestan 365.55
156 Montgisard 345.75
157 Lindginis Insania 340.70
158 Kalmykstan 334.31
159 Maestro L Pavarotti 314.52
159 Vlaskin 314.52
161 Okuni 290.29
161 Sarejavo 290.29
163 Nuevos Aires 279.94
163 Sineki 279.94

*Teams with a zero ranking have not been including in this.
** Ranks were calculated according to an equivalence calculation that establishes ~500 as the rough mean by a log scale.

{{{ooc: These ranks are going to be maintained by me, just for the opportunity to have a competing but not overriding ranking system, just as FIFA and Elo ranks exist IRL. This is not an attempt to supplant the KPB ranks in any way, because more than likely that would garner some fierce opposition. But in any case, these ranks are calculated according to the principles of the Elo system, but not equivalent to Elo ranks. For that reason, I'm just cautioning people when regarding these ranks as anything other than a divertimento. As far as I am aware, as well, neither Vephrall nor Valanora have stated any interest (in fact, one voiced opposition, so there :p) to using these ranks at all, so there should be no fear that these ranks will be used in any calculation scenario. That said, if you are objective, I hope that you will enjoy the progress of these ranks and that if you are one of the lucky winners, to bask and revel in whatever joy there is to enjoy from it.}}}

Schedule Announced

Well everyone the group draw has been announced for the 43rd World Cup in Valonora and Vehrall and qualifying does not look favorable for the Purple Knights, as they will have to play Yafolonia and Bazor 2, Wentland, and #3 Capitalizt Slani. All ranked higher then us. And Kosovoe are own greatest allies have been miracilously locateds in are group. Well today the Taeshani Soccer Association announced there Schedule including an interesting new stadium.

Schedule
Pre Qual Friendlies
@ Jeruselem
@ The Falcondome (150,000 Seats) vs Myedvedeyan
Matchday 1 vs Yafolonia and Bazor 2@ Atlantea Colliseum
Matchday 2 @ Linpada
Matchday 3 vs Wentland@ Atlantea Colliseum
Matchday 4 @ Docky
Matchday 5 @ Kosovoe@ Zwalgfelder Stadium
Matchday 6 @ Panuul
Matchday 7 vs Capitalizt Slani @ Atlantea Colliseum (590,000 Seats)
Mid Qualifying Friendly @ Daehanjeiguk
Uscheduled Friendly Possibility
Matchday 8 @ Yafolonia and Bazor 2
Matchday 9 vs Linpada@ X Island Metropark
Matchday 10 @ Wentland
Matchday 11 VS Docky @ X Island Metropark
Matchday 12 VS Kosovoe @ Docktown Memorial Stadium (490,000 Seats)
Matchday 13 VS Panuul@ X Island Metropark (200,000 Seats)
Matchday 14 @ Capitalizt Slani
Post Qual Friendly VS Candelaria and Marquez @ Docktown Memorial Stadium
Post Qual VS Nethertopia @ Docktown Memorial Park

So See you at the games fans.

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football
Healy shuffles his pack as Big Blues prepare for the ‘Friendly Games’
By Mack Hession

It was, when you think about it, right on schedule. In the time-honoured ten cup plan, the seventh cycle should end with a quarter-final exit. So this time, by rights, our boys should make the semis, right? And then be loosing finalists in the ninth, and then win the thing on our twentiethish anniversary of international football?

At least one of the Candelarias’ sportswriters appears to be charged each year with the responsibility for bringing a sense of reality to proceedings, and this time around that seems to be me. For once, our ridiculous over-expectations for the national team do not truly reflect badly on the collective mind of the Candelariasian people – not when the Big Blues are coming off the back of an utterly unprecedented run into the last eight. The absence of the hosts from the draw, not to mention that of last year’s beaten finalists, helped lift C&M into the second pot of seeds – but that fact merely underlines just how far we have still to go. We’re still behind Kura-Pelland, for heaven’s sake! Calm down, everybody…

Kris Healy has, unsurprisingly, been quick to make just that point. Rankings may ultimately count for little once the whistle blows, but the Big Blues are never the less ranked only one place higher than they were seven years ago. It would take another outstanding effort to even challenge the teens, and we can only look with envy at our Baptism of Fire betters from the Han Empire in their lofty top-ten perch.

But let us not forget the billions of potential players they have to choose from, compared to the relative paucity available from the clubs of our little islands, asphyxiated by money-spinning foreign icons. Under those conditions, Healy must surely be raised to an entirely new plateau in our estimations – Candelaria And Marquez (and the Outliers) are competing with the very best and, in the race to lose to the Eesseff in Raynor City, we cannot be entirely discounted. Neat, no?

In typical fashion, Healy reacted to the mass belief now surrounding his squad by ripping it to shreds. Yes, that might sound overly dramatic; but not since World Cup 39 qualifying have nine newcomers made the twenty-three. The manager lost of one those – William Burgos – to the fifty-nine-cap right-back’s retirement from international football, but most of the moves were Healy’s, and Healy’s alone. The biggest surprise sees the absence of Merlin Siriwong, having scored twelve times in thirty-one games for his nation; but the MarquezOW star’s indifferent club form has seen him drop further out of international favour after losing his starting berth to Jamie González during the finals in Septentrionia. For all the naranja’s much-vaunted youth policy, not a single Onwere-based player makes the squad, and only one of their products will be present – goalkeeper Seb Moon, latterly of Albrecht Turkish.

It’s a similar story for Albrecht FC, for whom Matteo Corradini is the sole representative. And an even more damning indictment, perhaps, is that the presence of Joe Cunningham and Jack Marshall means that the Scorpions have three of their academy products in the squad – joint top with Turkish. Those who took their footballing education from the Albrecht region account for seven members of the group in total, with the Indies’ God’s Power Adekunde seemingly installed as a semi-permanent fixture at left-back. El din, for the record, is next on the list with three natives.

Club-wise though, Arrigo Portuguese are clearly in the ascendancy. They supply five members of the squad – and we’ll never hear the end of it – though they can owe that in part to Healy’s insistence that the place of youth is at the next World Under-21 Cup (wherever and whenever it shall be) rather than lining up at the biggest stage of all. Lawrence Amey, Josh Belmore, Chris Kilgore, Darren King, Luke Lewis, Nic Lloyd, Gwynfardd Lopulalan, Reuben Millard, Eric O’Brien, Marco Antonio Ortiz, Diego Fernando Pappas, Oscar Smith, David Spooner, Joe Rodríguez, Tonzing Wang, John Yeoman… These are names to shake up the world, one day. Possibly. For now however, Healy is as reliant as ever on the old soldiers – Corradini, Connor Mengucci, Dionísio Madeira Lobos, Steven Williams.

Ahh, Dionísio. The moral conundrum of Candelarias football is the centrepiece of the attack once again, and his selection comes at just the right time. For the very first time, the national teams of C&M and Cafundéu will meet in a competitive fixture, but these two sides will be no strangers to each other after numerous encounters for their clubs. Quiet distaste for their social set-up and reverence for their domestic football goes hand-in-hand when it comes to Candelariasians attitudes to the Cafundelense nation but, between Cunningham, Harris Dixon, Robin Jacobs, Mengucci and Enrique Silva de Aviz, no-one can doubt the inseparable (if rather one-way) bond between the game in C&M and Cafundéu.

As for Dionísio, it remains to be seen how he will be received by the locals on matchday two. The Cafundelense squad itself is too good for him to be bemoaned by the fans as the one that got away, but he may still be seen as a traitor to the cause – particularly if C&M can pull off a real upset against one of the now perennial favourites.

One might argue that – for once – C&M have been let off with a relatively simple group. The direst threat comes from the unfamiliar; though, by the time the Big Blues travel to face the promising amazonians of Cassadaigua, one Courtney Ferguson will most likely be all too well-known to CMSC2 defences and their followers. As ever, the latest batch of students awarded the Bynarm Scholarship may end up being horribly mediocre at international level or capable of upsetting the very best, and the team that visits Hoxton on matchday one will represent an entirely unknowable entity.

Rennidan might also deserve a place in that category. Who knows what force carried the shattered, raw remains over Rennidanian football to the World Cup, but surely they cannot hope to catch lightning in a bottle a second time?

Where once there was the bitterest of bad bloody between these two sides, the shared experiences of domestic terrorism will bring an entirely different atmosphere to Arrigo – providing that Samual Fortal, never the most easily likeable of individuals, doesn’t take it upon himself to further enhance Rennidan’s world renown in a less agreeable manner. KT Hotspur will indeed take much of the domestic focus of this campaign, with the Valleys seemingly set – however dubiously – to host Tom Darkless and Land de Wood in the middle of the string of late home games. With the CAMAFA’s insistence on sharing the national team around the country, the Big Blues will also return to El din for only the second time, with the Little Road Stadium the destination this time around for the visit of Colbourne.

Least worryingly, but most curiously, of all; the Big Blues tour will take in Saturday Sport. As far as we can identify, this is a ship anchored in international Pacific waters, manned by Kura-Pellandi natives and broadcasting to the world with an unconvincing degree of legality. Even assuming it has a football pitch, there would appear to be the continual risk of a police raid or, indeed, sinking.

But hey-ho, away we go. Not ‘arf.

Here’s Dario G…

__________________


The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Latest News

Blues in Peregrinus City for Rushmori bragging rights Having lost the previous encounter five-nil, Nethertopia – under Candelariasian co-manager-coachy-person Trevor Organ – will have every inclination to sock one to their traditionally more potent neighbours. The Falcon District may be barely three hours’ ferry ride from Los Silos, but the Nethertopians have been a footballing world away for many years.

Today, the situation is rather different. Thousands of Candelariasians will be present in the Nethertopian capital in the coming week, and they can be trusted to doggedly insist that the visiting players decline to treat this as any normal World Cup warm-up. Not that they should need much convincing – Michael de Vet, Yannick de Woudt and everyone with Marbles connections can be depended upon to give their club colleagues a hard time indeed should they upset their cousins across the waters.

The Battle for Rushmore [World Cup 43 Pre-Qualifying Friendly]
@ The Falcon Stadium, Peregrinus City, Nethertopia

Nethertopia (possible): 3-5-2; van Dalen [c] (NAPPC); Wildernis (El din M.), de Haan (Tdv Utd), de Wit (GIZ); Pannekoek (NAPPC), Schaak (El din M.), Oud (Tdv Utd), de Vet (Caires C.), Bakker (NAPPC); Soro (Tdv Utd), Snip (El din M.).

Candelaria And Marquez (probable): 4-2-3-1; Sbaïz (Chelmar); Dixon [c] (A.F.F.), Christmas (Cthdl C.), Silva de Aviz (A.F.F.), Adekunde (PoC); Mengucci (Ptds S/A), Ely (Ag. Ptugse.); Cohen (A.Turks), Madeira Lobos (Cs C.), González (A. Ptgs.); Smith (A. Ps.).

Referee: Bokito (Dariusville)

Television: TV1 19:45 WRT

Demot Daily ~ When They Are Gone

The scribe will continue to write the passage of time and the events that transpire to whomever he serves, much like me and my fellow journalists do for this nation. It is a strange thing to reflect back on what has been and what can and will be in the matter of sport, as things become increasingly relative. Perhaps that is part of the glamour that brings the supporters to the pitch/arena/etc... to cheer on their team. We feel that when we pledge our support and root on these teams, that then we become a part of them, thus when they have success, so do we. It is a truly remarkable thing, but here were are once again with a clean book and a fresh bottle of ink for the scribes to do their task with. I am of course talking about the upcoming World Cup Qualifiers, of which our beloved Demot have entered, will be commencing. However, several of the key members of last tournament's amazing undefeated qualifying run have either been replaced or have entered international retirement, most notably the cult hero of Cruril Songsteel.

Looking to replace those who are now departed from the team are a trio of Demot-based midfielders. In an age where many internationals head to foriegn leagues to hone their skills, it is refreshing to see that an entire facet of the Dynamo's game is based here at home. The question though, is that by staying home, are these players tested for international competition? I can not speak for Zubo but Jonas and Dunne both are ready for this level. Dunna has been to multiply international club competitions with the dominance that Santa Rosa has had in the DPL in the past few seasons, while Jonas was a clear bright spot last tournament.

The competition though is quite fierce, with four or five good teams in the group, vying for just three spots into the World Cup Proper. The Han Empire is clearly going to be the most difficult challange, as they are top seeds after a remarkable run through the tournament proper in 42. Krytenia actually qualified for the group stage last time, but withdrew for reasons that are still a mystery to many outsiders. The Aces definately will be a side that the Dynamo will need to take points of some kind off of if they are to progress. Finally amongst the contenders are Greal and Magna Sancta Sedes, who both showed some good signs of quality, but of whom our researchers know little else about.

Seventy-ninth entrant, Vlaskin, and Dariusville all appear to be the whipping boys of the group six, though no squad should take any fixture lightly. The competition will be fast and furious and it shall be a true measure of Renário's managerial ability to keep the side primed and ready for every match. Despite what last tournament would show you, the Dyanmo have been historicaly weak in the qualifying portion of the tournament, and only another resolute day in day out effort will get this side safe passage to VV.

Schedule
PQF: Demot-Yafor 2
MD1: Krytenia-Demot
MD2: Demot-Greal
MD3: Seventy Ninth Entrant-Demot
MD4: Demot-Han
MD5: Dariusville-Demot
MD6: Demot-Vlaskin
MD7: Demot-Magna Sancta Sedes
MQF: Yafor 2-Demot
MD8: Demot-Krytenia
MD9: Greal-Demot
MD10: Demot-Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD11: Han-Demot
MD12: Demot-Dariusville
MD13: Vlaskin-Demot
MD14: Magna Sancta Sedes-Demot

Article by Juran Orvell

"...and how much longer must we walk on, my brother?"

"Fr. Polycarp's hermitage is deep in the woods, my brother. It was chosen for its remoteness. Here Fr. Polycarp hopes to live a life of Hesychastic tranquility, searching for inner peace through constant contemplation of God's works."

"Yes, I know that, my brother, but still... it has been five subjective days now that we have been searching for Fr. Polycarp's hermitage..."

"Patience is one of the cardinal virtues of being a monk, my young brother - and how appropriate it would be to find Fr. Polycarp today, the day we commemorate the Venerable Martyrius the Recluse of the Kiev Caves...."

"Behold, brother, I see a plume of smoke through the forest leaves!"

"I do believe you're right! And that figure who now walks towards us... I think... Yes it is! It's Fr. Polycarp...."

"Dear brothers in Christ - you are welcome to my hermitage. And what works of our Lord and Saviour do you now undertake that you disturb my years of solitary peace and tranquility?"

"Fr. Polycarp... this is indeed an honour. I am Fr. Raphael, called the Wise - a title that this unworthy wretch of a monk has never deserved - and my young friend here is Fr. Alexander, called the Wanderer."

"Welcome. And?"

"We are here on a mission from the Holy Synod itself. We have been charged with delivering and reading this letter:

To Our Dear And Beloved Brother in Christ Father Polycarp, called The Venerable: We the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy assembled do honestly and earnestly entreat you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost to return to the Grand Lavra, where we wish to enthrone you as First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee with all due blessings, that you may serve as First Hierarch for the duration of the term that the nations of Ordinary Reality have seen fit, through the miraculous workings of the Lord Our God, even unto ages of ages, to assign to our Monastic Nation. A ceremony of enthronement shall take place immediately following our pre-qualifying friendly against the heathen nation of Nethertopia.

Let it also be known that this appointment has been supported by the Archregimand, the Patriarch of the Holy Empire, and the First Secretary of the Imperial Purple Inkwell acting on behalf of His Imperial Majesty the Basileus.

Yours in Christ,
Mark
Metropolitan of the Grand Lavra +

"I see. You may of course rest at my hermitage this evening and partake in my evening meal with me. Tomorrow you shall return to the Grand Lavra and speak to my beloved brother Mark to politely decline this appointment on my behalf."

"But the appointment is supported by the Archregimand, the Patriarch - it's as good as supported by the Basileus himself."

"My young friend, these are all transient earthly titles of this life that shall one day pass as dust. My only interest is in preparing myself for the eternal life to come. For several subjective decades now I have lived alone here in the forest, spending all time not necessary to eat and sleep praying in silent contemplation of the miracle of God's creation. It is a good life. I enjoyed the time I spent involved with the Archregimancy's football programme, but that was many tournaments ago. I have foresworn that life. Listen to the birds singing in the trees, the sound of the nearby stream as it flows swiftly through the forest, the wind rustling through the leaves.... No. I say again that this is a good life; I will not leave it for the commands of mere mortal men. Only a sign from God or the saints would move me."

"I see. Well, my brother Polycarp. I am disappointed by your decision, as no doubt will be the Holy Synod. But I am moved by your earnest faith and devotion to the life of a hermit. We shall leave you in peace. We shall set forth immediately."

"But Father Raphael, he said that we could stay..."

"Forgive my young brother, Fr. Polycarp. We set forth now. We shall disturb you no longer. Our Saviour's blessings be upon you."

"And on you, my brothers."



<later that night>

"We shall set up our camp here for tonight my brother."

"But what shall we tell the Holy Synod?"

"We shall tell them what Father Polycarp told.... what's that rustling sound?"

"It's... it's Father Polycarp!"

"Dear brothers.... I hope I am not disturbing you?"

"But you declined. You were staying at your hermitage. Nothing short of a sign from God or the saints would move you, you said."

"And the minute I turned my back on you, my hermitage burned to the ground. This Holy Icon of the Blessed Theotokos was the only thing I was able to salvage. The Mother of God herself has punished me for my arrogance - my arrogance in putting myself before service to my Orthodox brethren, and my arrogance in not mentioning the Theotokos among those who could sway me. I stand before you in all humility to tell you that I accept this sign, and I accept the title of First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee. Though I wish it not, I shall accept; this burden is, after all, a lesser one than the burden our Lord and Saviour accepted at Gethsemane. Let my pray with you now brothers, and tomorrow we shall set out on our way...."

The ground was shaking and dust fell from the ceiling and sides of the cave, littering the chalk path with debris that threatened to grow larger as the shaking became more violent. The roars eminating from the ritual chamber were growing strained, as if the source was struggling against something. But the brave SMS team was not in the room to see chunks of rock fall from the demon statue to reveal living flesh beneath.

"These... gah, these quakes aren't natural!" Russ sputtered, tripping over his feet as the initial crevasse came into view. A line of light was visible on the ceiling as they prepared to fire their lines up to the surface. "This can't be serious. That thing is..."

"Ve heff to tekk ection," von Steuben said, shooting up a grappling hook. The other two followed suit. A tug to verify it was solid, and soon they were on the way up. "Fortunately," the professor grunted while ascending, spitting out words between heaving breaths, "as ze first responders to ze mysterious, ze SMS hess an agreement viss ze military..."

"You mean, you did something sneaky in case something bizarre like this ever happened?" Peter asked.

"Ve geet zeegnal!" declared the professor. They were close enough to the opening now that he was getting a signal on his shiny new G1 Android-powered phone, making sure Peter and Russ got a good look at it as it came into the light, since product placement is important. He tapped at the screen. "Zeems owes me a favor, anyvay..."

"But professor, what's down there that makes you think we need the military?" asked Russ. The rumbling has subsided, and they could no longer hear the demonic wails coming from the chamber. He thought back to the room, and the artwork depicting the battles between men and beast. "Wait, you don't think...!!"

********************

The rumbling had subsided but was felt as far away as the base. Drinks in the mess hall rippled, silverware bounced on the table, and the lights flickered for only a brief moment. After a few seconds, all returned to normal. "Earthquake?" Daniel said as last. He hadn't flinched throughout the ordeal. "I heard they were happening more frequently in this area, but it's the first time I've been through one."

"We've been getting tiny ones like that all week," Tetsuya replied, shoving a forkful of food into his mouth. "We all figure there's a big one coming, question's just when."

"We've been working with civilian authorities on the matter," Simms said, "although we haven't had many men to spare while preparing for these exercises. While we certainly have protocols in place if there's an emergency, for now we've permitted the dispatch of Frederick von Steuben and his SMS organization."

"Von Steuben... I know I've heard the name," said Daniel. He didn't like feeling so powerless when there was obviously danger being presented to the people. They could cleanup after disasters like this, but knowing that one was coming with nothing capable of stopping it... it was sickening. He poked at his food. He'd suddenly lost his appetite.

The colonel's phone rang. He reached into his pocket and answered. "Simms," he said, turning aside from the main conversation at the table. Suddenly he stood up with a start. "What's that?! Angel 2?" He snapped the phone closed and grabbed his hat, motioning for his aides to leave.

Daniel stood up. "Colonel, what's going on?" he asked.

"It's one of the new fighters we showed you earlier," Simms replied. "It just began remote launch! Someone's controlling it."

"How is that possible?" asked Chase, concerned that someone could just fire up military hardware on a whim.

As if to answer his question, the Colonel's phone rang again. He answered. "What is it?! We're in... von Steuben?" He listened for a moment and then furrowed his brow with anger. "Use something less expensive if you must! But I don't know what you found that requires..."

There was a shockwave as the fighter blasted into the sky, passing over the mess hall and into the distance. The pilots all ran to the window and watched it disappear in the direction of Mount Fujiko, where a plume of thick smoke had started to rise from the mountain. Simms was still back at the table. His head was turned towards the window, too, and his face softened a little. "What do you mean, professor, that the legend is true?"

********************

Russ and Peter hit the ground as the mountaintop erupted again, sending rocks flying in all directions. A disgusting cloud was rising into the sky. The red haze of flames could be seen at the summit, but there was no lava or fire. It was just an ominous glow. Von Steuben remained standing and ended the call with the colonel. "Ve vill heff power shortly," he said. "Ve vill stop zees here."

"What are you talking about, you mean we're gonna fight the demon lord?" asked Peter, scrambling to his feet.

"Und ze minions," von Steuben replied. He looked up and searched the sky. With moments, a speck appeared and grew larger as it approached. Russ and Peter watched as it hove into view... a fighter plane? It shot overhead and circled around the mountain. "I'll breeng eet een," he said, returning to his phone. His custom program ran smoothly as he dialed into the plane's navigational systems.

"Bring it in how?" asked Russ. He looked around. There was nowhere near enough space to land a jet here. He watched the plane dramatically lower altitude and approach them. Russ and Peter stumbled backwards awkwardly as it flew at them, while von Steuben stood his ground and smiled. "It's gonna crash!" Russ shouted.

It was no more than a few hundred yards away when the plane suddenly altered its form. The engine blocks pivoted near the fuselage midpoint and dropped down to make a right angle with the ground. They then swung out at a greater angle so that the plane could fire its thrusters in reverse and slow down. A pair of arms also dropped down from the body, although the plane's canopy, wings, and tail remained where they were. It came to a hover only a few feet away.

"Half plane..." murmured Peter.

"Half robot!" Russ finished.

The canopy opened. It was a two-seater. The machine knelt down to accept them while remaining in a calm hover. Von Steuben closed his phone and motioned for the boys to get inside. "I'll go beck een ze ven," he said. "Boot zees ees for you to fight zem... ze DV-3 Rhinemaiden!"

********************

There was a heaving breath inside the cave. Eyes opened that had been closed for centuries. Muscles moved that had been frozen in place. Bones creaked as the demon lord slowly came to his senses. "The seal... HAS BROKEN!" he growled with a smile, taking a step forward and clenching his fist. This place was just as he remembered it before the final battle. The entrance to his kingdom was right behind him.

He turned and walked into the depths. Slowly, it was all coming back to him. That man... his sacrifice was now all in vain! Who now would challenge his reawakening? But he did feel weak. His full power would take some time to recover. That was fine, though; he had everything he needed to renew his assault.

He entered a large cavern where several other demons were shaking free of their earthen bonds, coming to realize their sudden release. "My general, Gaizok!" the demon lord called out.

Many of the lesser demons started to scurry about as they recognized their lord's presence in the room. Gaizok looked around him, set his eyes upon his lord, and slowly knelt in deference. "My lord, Boldozaa, your dark magic has broken man's seal!" he cried. His movements were slow and awkward as his body shook off the centuries of rest.

"Nothing will return our vigor more than the immediate return to war!" Boldozaa declared, throwing his arm out dramatically. "Summon the Nazar! We shall test the strength of this age's men!"

Memorandum

To: Heads of Jeruselem Football
From: Katie Simpson, Secristan Department of Sports
Re: Business Deal?

Greetings! You guys don’t know us too well yet, but we’re that 89th ranked team that you are probably prepared to walk all over for two games. That’s fine, because as you may or may not know, in Secristan, what’s important is generating revenue for our corporate sponsors and not really if we win or lose. For us, Jeruselem represents are biggest money maker. It’s the one game that we know our fans will want to catch a glimpse of while you are here, and we expecting bidding for seats for our Matchday 7 game in Amherst to set all-time records. This may perhaps, prevent Jeruselem fans from traveling to our country, and we don’t want that. Quite the contrary, we want you here. We want you to be our featured game.

We want, well, we want to use people like Kate Sallad and Sadie Dallas or other Jeruselem icons that are known throughout to the world to advertise some products for our chief corporate sponsors. It can be at your complete convenience, while the players are in Secristan. In return for their services, not only will we compensate the athletes, but we will also provide free tickets (and this is very rare for us to ever offer, you must understand) for up to 100 family and friends of your choosing. We will also waive the sidewalk usage tax for them, and for all members of your team if we can have this agreement. We’re sure that we can get some great sponsorship packages that will make up for our financial loss in giving you the free tickets. If we can get them to stay a day before or after the game to shoot the advertisements, that would be great.

Please let me know at your earliest convenience if we have a deal. We are really looking forward to playing your team. It’s going to be great for ratings!

Sincerely,
Katie Simpson
Vice President, Interregional Relations- Secristan Department of Sports

Womer News

"In Greal's bid in qualify for this year's World Cup 43, they will face many fierce opponents. Greal was selected in play in Group 6. Group 6 has seven other teams that their nations have sent in a bid to qualify: Daehanjeiguk, Krytenia, Dariusville, Vlaskin, Seventy Ninth Entrant, Demot, Magna Sancta Sedes.

"Daehanjeiguk is ranked tenth on the KPB rankings which makes them a formidable team, if not unbeatable.
.
"Krytenia, unfamiliar, but according to the Greal World Cup Committee, Krytenia is ranked much higher then Greal. This year, maybe something might change, who knows?

"Dariusville, Seventy Ninth Entrant, Vlaskin, are all new teams according to Ross Trent, but all could be a potential threat.

"Demot, a another larger, more deadly team. Greal will have to be on its guard when playing this team.

"The only familiar name on the list is Magna Sancta Sedes, who played Greal several times in the past. In the most recent match, Greal narrowly lost, but this time, Ross Trent has vowed not to let that happen on his watch.

"Ross Trent has been kind enough to give us his team's schedule. He has also informed us that most of Greal's players from last year will return, plus a new player appointed by the Greal World Cup Committee.

Greal Qualifying Schedule

MD1: (159) Vlaskin
MD2: (19) Demot
MD3: (31) Krytenia
MD4: (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD5: (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD6: (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD7: (118) Dariusville
MD8: (159) Vlaskin
MD9: (19) Demot
MD10: (31) Krytenia
MD11: (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD12: (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD13: (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD14: (118) Dariusville

"We wish our team lots of luck, because they're going to need it."

Myedvedeya Prepares for First World Cup Qualifier At Lovisa

MYEDVEDEYAN SCHEDULE:

MD1: Myedvedeya @ Lovisa
MD2: Myedvedeya VS Alversia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD3: Myedvedeya @ Newmanistan
MD4: Myedvedeya VS Dancougar (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD5: Myedvedeya @ The Bostopian Empire
MD6: Myedvedeya VS Starblaydia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD7: Myedvedeya VS Glaycia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD8: Myedvedeya VS Lovisa (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD9: Myedvedeya @ Alversia
MD10: Myedvedeya VS Newmanistan (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD11: Myedvedeya @ Dancougar
MD12: Myedvedeya VS The Bostopian Empire (Pyotroveskovlad Imperial Dome)
MD13: Myedvedeya @ Starblaydia
MD14: Myedvedeya @ Glaciya

Myedvedeya's Kamchatka Grizzly Bears Football Squad, fresh off their Baptism of Fire 30 Title, prepare for their first world cup qualifier, against #29 Lovisa. Lovisa are an established, top 32 team, and a win or draw against them would be a fantastic start to Myedvedeya (#82)'s qualifying campaign. Myedvedeya are still a very young, inexperienced team, and they hope to gain some valuable skill and respect in this qualifying campaign, while striving to the best of their ability to qualify, which would be a fantastic outcome.

Coach Vladimir Sergyevitch Bagration had this to say:
"We are a young, quick, dynamic team. Most players on this squad have at least one more World Cup left in them, and many have two or three. This is our first campaign, and earning wins will not be easy. Our main objective is to gain top-level international experience, and place ourselves in a good position for the next World Cup. Qualification would be a fantastic outcome, but, if not, you will find us battling with all our hearts for the Cup of Harmony Trophy."

Myedvedeya will face Lovisa tomorrow, after a pre-WC friendly against Rennidan. Against Lovisa, they are playing a match they are expected to lose. Lovisa are the third-ranked team in the group, and a favorite to qualify. Myedvedeya are the sixth-highest ranked team in the group, and will travel to Lovisa for this first encounter.

"We will not play defensive football"Stated Aloyoshenka Vorotaev. "We will fight this match out to the best of our ability, and hope that we can pull off a draw or a tie. I believe that our fast-paced style of play can generate some goals, even against a top-level team, and this should allow us to have some success in qualifiers. One goal can change the game, and we have been known for scoring those, so be ready for some upsets."

Myedvedeya's players and fans have become known for extreme devotion and nationalism. These men and women are passionate and proud, and will not bow to any opponent, no matter how highly ranked.

"No matter the enemy, even if it was Valanora themselves, we would not go down easily" Said Captain Nikolai Dolohov. "If we have to lose, we will lose honorably. There is no shame in losing if you fight like a wounded bear, and fall to a more skilled opponent. That is a learning process, and not one to be ashamed by."

Myedvedeya will be playing their standard lineup tonight, which includes many players in foreign leagues. The "outsourcing" of Myedvedeyan players has been one of the things cited to contribute to Myedvedeya's Baptism of Fire success.

As Such. Bagration's Lineup is:

#28 Vorotaev #9 Rozhdestvensky

#8 Barabanschikov #4 Markov #13(C) Dolohov #7 Ulyanov

#5 Romasko #3 Preminin #27 Mizin #10 Korotkaiev

#1 Bykovsky




With the Tsar's Blessing, and the spirit of Myedvedeya at our backs, we go to battle in Lovisa.

for more sports news, visit www.novymoskva.mye/WC43 (www.novymoskva.mye/sports)

The Old Man has readied his side for the ultimate challenge. Cafundeu's stupidly rich - in money and talent - team have arrived in Cardim, Kura-Pelland, from which they will take a thirty-mile ferry ride to the artificial island upon which a radio show masquerading as a nation will play their matches.

The stadium has a capacity of just under 1,100 seats, all of which are folding plastic seats. Anyone else who wants to follow the match will have to follow radio commentary from David Howell, a hyperactive young commentator from Cardim with a penchant for the surreal. These will be broadcast to ships across Atlantian Oceania. Attempts at television coverage will be made, although only amateur cameramen and women are available; Howell's commentary or a Cafundelense alternative will be made available.

The expected margin of victory is at least seven goals.

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/antOileanach.png?t=1224978060

Draw pits Island against the Motherland

Speaking after the announcement of yesterdays World Cup Qualifying draw reached An Blascaod Mór, there was one opponent for the Island that stood head and shoulders above the others, as they were drawn into Group Seven along with Sorthern Northland. Matchday Six will see An Blascaod Mór's team make the small trip across the Blasket Sound to take on Sorthern Northland, with the reverse fixture coming in the twelve fixture of qualifying. Whilst Sorthern Northland are far from the biggest team in Group Seven with the likes of The Archregimancy and Jaseuyeon also in the group, it will be the games against SN that will draw the most attention from the Island.

Indeed after it was announced captain Muris O'Sullivan was clear on which game he was looking forward to the most, saying, "It's not the first time we've played against the Motherland, but it'll be the first competitive fixture and for our lads playing in a stadium like the James Connolly Stadium in Beningrad, I think come the end of our playing days a lot of us will have that as our highlight. Of course Sorthern Northland are once again hoping to win the Cup of Harmony, so we'll be doing all we can to help them achieve that by giving it our all to win our two games against them. Another game to look forward will be the game against The Archregimancy, that'll be exciting."

Whilst for many O'Sullivan's hopes for victory against the Motherland will seem a bit optimistic, the memories of three games in particular will give the players the confidence they need to beat the Motherland. The first of course being the previous game against them, when the Sortherners were lucky to leave Beiginis with a 1-0 win. That was then followed by a 1-0 home win over Zwangzug in the Island's first every World Cup match, and it wasn't the last shock of the competition as Candelaria and Marquez did just enough in getting a 1-1 draw in Beiginis to secure their place at the World Cup. But whether or not An Blascaod Mór can record any more shocks this campaign, it's going to be one hell of a journey.

Memorandum

To: Heads of Jeruselem Football
From: Katie Simpson, Secristan Department of Sports
Re: Business Deal?

Greetings! You guys don’t know us too well yet, but we’re that 89th ranked team that you are probably prepared to walk all over for two games. That’s fine, because as you may or may not know, in Secristan, what’s important is generating revenue for our corporate sponsors and not really if we win or lose. For us, Jeruselem represents are biggest money maker. It’s the one game that we know our fans will want to catch a glimpse of while you are here, and we expecting bidding for seats for our Matchday 7 game in Amherst to set all-time records. This may perhaps, prevent Jeruselem fans from traveling to our country, and we don’t want that. Quite the contrary, we want you here. We want you to be our featured game.

We want, well, we want to use people like Kate Sallad and Sadie Dallas or other Jeruselem icons that are known throughout to the world to advertise some products for our chief corporate sponsors. It can be at your complete convenience, while the players are in Secristan. In return for their services, not only will we compensate the athletes, but we will also provide free tickets (and this is very rare for us to ever offer, you must understand) for up to 100 family and friends of your choosing. We will also waive the sidewalk usage tax for them, and for all members of your team if we can have this agreement. We’re sure that we can get some great sponsorship packages that will make up for our financial loss in giving you the free tickets. If we can get them to stay a day before or after the game to shoot the advertisements, that would be great.

Please let me know at your earliest convenience if we have a deal. We are really looking forward to playing your team. It’s going to be great for ratings!

Sincerely,
Katie Simpson
Vice President, Interregional Relations- Secristan Department of Sports

To: Katie Simpson, Vice President, Interregional Relations- Secristan Department of Sports
From: Dazza, acting Head of Jeruselem FA

Hello Katie! It's grandma Dazza ... the head of Jeruselem FA is sick after drinking some dodgy water on holidays. Honestly, he's not very well.

Being a Capitalist country, our football players are available for advertising contracts in your country. Nothing much stops that - apart from basic things like promoting war, illegal crimes and acts against the state of Jeruselem or their clubs etc. Selling sexy stuff is fine. Each player will have their own requirements. I'll be sending forms to you so we can make this all official. I assume the girls who tend not to wear clothing are the ones to me most requested. If you have any more questions, please ring me. The forms are a bit complicated due to the usual paranoid security crap but that's life. Just be aware each player is different, some don't like any attention while some like the Dallases and Sallads are just attention whores like me.

We will not endorse any advertising for an organisation called PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), mainly because they owe us money and refuse to pay up.

Make sure you send me the forms from Secristan so we can make this intergovernmental stuff all official. I am the Queen Mother so I have special authority. I'm a bit bored these days since I don't a real job anymore.

Hopefully, the real Jeruselem FA Head will be back but it will be at least a week before he'll recover.

We are happy to help in the promotion of Secristan and Secristan football. Nice to talk to you Katie, I like Kates.

Cheers
Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas
XXX

THE HEXAGON REPORT
It's News, Because We Say So!


While the Q-Continuum, excepting ourselves here in Green wombat and Prux, is tearing itself apart in war; We are glad, for once, to have the World Cup to distract us from these goings-on.

The Wombats are currently ranked 48th in world, not quite a World Cup team, but nevertheless a dangerous team who could upset a team to two along the way. In the 7th Qualifying Group, Green wombat has to face the likes of: perennial powers Jasiyun/Jaseuyeon, the Best team not to have won a Cup, The Archregimancy; and emerging powers Sorthern Northland. Also in the group are: newcomers Valetaland, returning Onimar, and fellow midcarders, An Blascaod Mór and Nethertopia. On the basis of rank alone, the Wombats are the 4th best team in the group, but on talent, they are more the 6th best team. Here's the Wombats' schedule:

(NOTE: All home matches will be played at: Green wombat Field, aka: "The Barracks": The Hexagon. Capacity: 66,666.)
MD1: @ An Blascaod Mór
MD2: vs Valetaland
MD3: @ The Archregimancy
MD4: vs Jasiyun/Jaseuyeon
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland
MD6: vs Nethertopia
MD7: vs Onimar
MD8: vs An Blascaod Mór
MD9: @ Valetaland
MD10: vs The Archregimancy
MD11: @ Jasiyun/Jaseuyeon
MD12: vs Sorthern Northland
MD13: @ Nethertopia
MD14: @ Onimar

From MD3 to MD12 6 of the 10 matches are at home with trips to The Archregimancy, Sorthern Northland and Jasiyun/Jaseuyeon. Those 10 games, are the key part of the campaign for the team. IF they win 6 of those games, the team could win a total of 9 games, which might be enough to qualify for the World Cup.

We here at the REPORT will list the top 15 teams in qualifying throughout the Tourney. We also will have a list of our WORST 5 also, but not until after the 3rd matchday. Both lists are compiled by a panel of 15 Sports anchors, reporters and members of the GWFA. Here's the Pre-qualifying Ranks. (1st Place Votes in Bold Italics)


TOP 15 POLL
1- Capitalizt SLANI 11
2- Jeruselem 1
3- Valanora 2 (Co-host, is not participating in qualifiers)
4- Bostopia
5- Milchama
6- Starblaydia 1
7- Cafundéu
8- Wentland
9- Daehanjeiguk
10- Qazox
11- Bazalonia
12- Tynelia
13- Demot
14- Kura-Pelland
15- Ad'ihan

ESPN Journal of Sport
October 6, 1944

Prux and World Cup 43 Qualifiers
by: Saul Werth

Once again it is time for Prux to compete for the right to participate in the World Cup. Wasn't it just a short four years ago that our team of un-dead football stars from Earth1, qualified for the World Cup? It was, and once again we are sending our supernatural legion, if a team of eleven walking undead and an alternate-religion man can be called a legion; to qualifing.

The group draw took play yesterday night, and we are proud to release, for the first time with our nation of Prux the complete schedule.

MD1: vs. Bushdome
MD2: vs. Thoughts of Randomness
MD3: vs. Tynelia
MD4: @ Yafor 2
MD5: vs. United Island Empires
MD6: vs. West Zirconia
MD7: vs. Kelssek
QUALIFYING BREAK
MD8: @ Bushdome
MD9: @ Thoughts of Randomness
MD10: @ Tynelia
MD11: vs. Yafor 2
MD12: @ United Island Empires
MD13: @ West Zirconia
MD14: @ Kelssek

This Schedule is very favorable for Prux, as 6 of the first 7 matches are at home, and the first 2 road games after the qualifying break are both winnable matches. The venues for the home matches will be as follows:

Bushdome and Yafor 2: Quagmire Field, Hamburger Hill, Prux. Capacity: 69,069.
Tynelia and Kelssek: Prince Weston Memorial Park, Pawtucket, Prux. Capacity: 71,590.

Thoughts of Randomness, United Island Empires and West Zirconia: Goldman Pharmacy Stadium, ESPN, Prux. Capacity: 62,000.

Using our latest computer projections, Prux will finish 3rd, behind Yafor 2 and Tynelia, edging out Kelssek by 2 points. Prux is projected to have a final record of 8 wins, 3 draws and 3 losses for a total of 27 points.

Cardinal Stephanus Gim Su-hwan looked at the list. As Protopresbyter of the College, he was suddenly tasked with the organization of the College of Cardinals, and had one vacant position to fill - "Caput Capitis Cogo de Societatem Pediludiam Sanctam Plurrimi Respubliqual" (Head Coach of the Most Holy Representative Football Team). Whom to send? Father de Turrecremata had asked to retire from football, preferring his tortures of humans into submission to the glory of God. The resurrected saints were unwilling to play for MSS, because of some "theological questions" among the members of the team. Additionally, since de Turrecremata possessed the Clavis Salomonis, the demons could not be bothered to try their luck without a willing master to guide them.

Indeed, last season - the theme of "almost" was the recurring theme. They almost won the Baptism of Fire (they lost to West Zirconia in the final); they almost qualified for the World Cup (they lost to the zombies of Prux in the play-offs); they almost won the Cup of Harmony (they lost to Newmanistan in the final). So what would happen this Cup? They would have to send a team inevitably, or else suffer worse consequences than "almost." Or perhaps - that would be the ideal? Send no team and rely upon God entirely!

"That's the most preposterous idea I've ever heard of!" the Pope decried. "Send no team? It's equivalent to excommunicating a pagan! It doesn't work."

"Holy Father, it would be the greatest test of our faith, if we were not to send a team. Indeed, trusting in God the Father would be our greatest achievement, and further lend credibility to Catholicism as the one true faith in the world. Especially as those demagogic schismatics almost won the World Cup last time around. We'll need more than a bunch of football playing monks to beat their bunch of football playing monks; we need the faith to persevere."

"I don't like this idea at all. What if God doesn't help?"

"Then it's God's will," Stephanus replied. "But let us trust that God will help us and show us His true will."

"I don't imagine football would rank too high on God's list of things to do. And again, God may perceive that we are testing God's mercy. Lest we forget the Devil's temptations of the Lord Christ in his exile."

"Trust me, Holy Father," Stephanus said, "if we do not qualify, we'll just send a team to the Cup of Harmony. There's no shame in testing our faith. We must trust in the Lord wholly."

The Pope conceded finally, after a good 1093 minutes of debate. "Verily, if we fail to qualify, we will have greater difficulty God's abandonment of the Holy Roman Catholic Church."

"We shall see."

Things were calm at VFR headquarters. Calmness, it seems, had really become something of an epidemic in the eastern half of Vircais lately.

The mystery surrounding the death of former VFR and World Cup Committee president Angufams Wecoisus was still unresolved. But it had been many months since his body had been found in an industrial freezer in Rozetpaloche alongside a rather large supply of RP-inin fresh from Kura-Pelland, and the investigation had been closed long ago.

Indeed, the only thing that seemed worthy of any concern whatsoever was the sudden semi-indepedence of the Northern Territory--er, Panuul, rather. And that was only a very minor concern, with only one of the VFR's 236 member clubs being based there. Oh, yes, and there was the issue of Northern Territory residents now being eligible to join the Panuul national team (though technically they could still also play for Vephrall, provided they didn't play for Panuul first). But who really cared about that either? Oh no, the VFR had suddenly lost a quarter of a tenth of one percent of its talent pool!

No, it was really quite calm, apart from continued preparations for the forty-third World Cup, which was about eight months away by Vephrese chronology.

Perfectly calm.

(Background voice: It’s time for another edition of your Pocono City Sports report! And now here is the one and only Meghan Traynor with co-host Kevin Collins!)

Traynor: Good morning, I’m Meghan Traynor, and we got a lot to cover today, all pertaining to World Cup 43.

Collins: That’s right Meghan. I’m Kevin Collins, and there’s not a lot of time for fooling around. World Cup 43 is upon us, and Newmanistan is set to have their glorious moment and finally qualify for the World Cup. There’s a lot of confidence, despite a tough group draw that this will be the year!

Traynor: That there is. The breakdown for this cup sees ten groups of eight, and the top three teams in each group will advance to the World Cup, which is being played in Valanora and Vephrall this time.

Collins: Newmanistan is the fourth ranked team in the group, so while not a favorite, they need to find away past Dancougar or Lovisa. I’m excited about Dancougar, aren’t you?

Traynor: Oh absolutely, on the pitch the games that we have played have been very even, two wins apiece, and that includes one win each in games in which KPB rank is used. Newmanistan can get points out of those two games, though Lovisa is probably the one we will need to pass. We can get that done.

Collins: Historically, Dancougar does well in qualifying. They are the second seeded team in the group, and won’t fall to fourth. Lovisa is the one we have to pass, but we can.

Traynor: Are we conceding first to Starblaydia? Can we get points against them?

Collins: I sense a magical upset in Pocono City. It’s quite a story with Brian Carson and Jeremy Brooker having their 100th cap, and the 101st for Jeremy McAllister taking place at home against Starblaydia, since it was in that country where we began our interregional career. Now, we will let the Starblaydi see how far we’ve come. I think with this atmopshere in Pocono City, that Newmanistan is going to pull off a surprise win, which is going to help our efforts to beat Lovisa.

Traynor: I’ve gotten some e-mail wondering how Jeremy McAllister got a game ahead of Carson and Brooker. How did that happen?

Collins: The Jeremy’s got a game ahead of Carson, when Carson coached Di Bradini Cup 6 and the Jeremy’s played in Oxen Cup 7. There was one more game that we played in that Oxen Cup. Brooker would be even with McAllister, but there was a game in the Baptism of Fire where Brooker was rested and did not play. McAllister has appeared in every game that he his team has been a part of.

Traynor: Even if that loss happens, which would be great.....

Collins: Let’s see you pick it too, Meghan. Say it with me, Newmanistan beats Starblaydia in Pocono City.

Traynor: I can see it happening, but Newmanistan has never beaten a top seed in their group in qualifying, or even gotten a draw against them.

Collins: So we’re due.

Traynor: Well, I guess you can look at it like that.

Collins: Playing Starblaydia will fire up this team. You watch. All that Di Bradini and Baptism of Fire history. Here they are with their first meeting that really matters, with a ceremony for the 100th cap to boot, I like the signs.

Traynor: So we know how important the Dancougar and Lovisa games are. Ideally, we go 4-0-0 against them, but what do you think our minimum record against them has to be in order to get third?

Collins: I want a split with Dancougar. 1-0-1 should work. Lovisa, I want two wins against. Absolutely. This is the team we need to pass. 1-1-0 probably works. 1-0-1 could if we get help, but 1-1-0 is the minimum here, so altogether, we need a 2-1-1, minimum.

Traynor: We can’t overlook Glaycia, this team is very capable themselves. And of course the defending Baptism of Fire champions from Myedvedeya are a team that will give everything they possibly got. That’s the type of team that can spring an upset, too.

Collins: If Glaycia enjoys messing things up, then they will enjoy this tournament. They are probably not going to qualify because I think this group is too tough for them, but their team will not be thinking like that. They have an outside shot, and if they get on a roll, watch out. Glaycia will have something to say about how this group finishes, and they can help or hurt us. We’ll have to see. I just hope that the team isn’t looking too much at the teams ranked above them to where this country gets overlooked.

Traynor: Glaycia can help us with Lovisa or Dancougar as much as they can hurt us. Same goes true for Myedvedeya.

Collins: Myedvedeya, the Baptism of Fire champion, debuts with a rank of 82, which is one spot lower then we debuted with in World Cup 40 qualifying, at 81. While we came within the away goals rule of qualifying, it was a different set up then, more conducive to a team in the 80's just maybe having the run, since there were more groups. They have a lot of fire, as Baptism of Fire champions usually do, but Brian Carson realizes this. He’s been here. So do most of the players. They will not sneak up on us, nor will they sneak up on Dancougar, who also knows a thing or two about winning a Baptism of Fire. Maybe they do against Lovisa, which would help.

Traynor: And on the topic of our near miss to qualify for World Cup 40, when Bostopia advanced instead of us, we have a team that reminds us of Bostopia, in The Bostopian Empire, who is our first qualifying opponent. Thoughts?

Collins: The Bostopian Empire, since they did not play in the Baptism of Fire, will have their first game that counts against us. There’s not a lot of scouting information on them, and we’re not sure how much support they get from Bostopia, but if we don’t get six points against them, we’re in trouble getting in that top three. Same thing with Alversia.

Traynor: Yeah, I agree. I think Brian Carson and the team did a much better job winning the games they were supposed to win instead of being very mediocre in the games, which was the case in the World Cup 41 qualifications.

Collins: World Cup 41 is a bad memory. Speak no more of it.

Traynor: Alright, so we get the job done against these two?

Collins: Yes we do.

Traynor: Alright, we have to go to commercial, but when we come back, Kevin and I will take a look at the other nine groups.

Collins: Stick around.

(Commercials.... more commercials..... hey, did you know a 20 minute call could help you save 20% on your car insurance? Hey look.... Jeremy McAllister was in that one.... more commercials.... ok, finally done)

Traynor: Ok we’re back. Now, we look at the other groups. Starting, with group 1.

Collins: That would be the logical place to start.

Traynor: I say SLANI, Wentland, and Yafalonia and Bazor 2.

Collins: SLANI and Wentland are in good shape. This group gets interesting for the third spot between Yafalonia and Bazor 2 and Taeshan. Just that there would be this battle is why I love the 10 group of eight format with three advancing. I’m going to give the edge to Taeshan, here.

Traynor: Group 2 is rough. Very difficult draw for the Baptism of Fire 29 champion, West Zirconia. Tynelia, Yafor 2, and Prux are my picks.

Collins: Meghan, every year there is top seed that doesn’t make the World Cup. It could happen in this group because the top four are really strong. Tynelia usually qualifies well, so I think they’ll get this job done. Then I am going to go out on the limb at little bit and predict Kelssek and Prux. Not a good qualifying year for teams ending in the number two.

Traynor: Yeah, but Yafor 2 not advancing? I find that hard to believe. They’ll get the job done. Kelssek and Prux are nice teams, and it comes down between them for the third spot.

Collins: You are probably right, but I’m just going off the fact that there’s always a surprise somewhere. This could be it.

Traynor: Group 3, cut and dry, Bostopia, Bazalonia and Jeru FC.

Collins: I agree. Battle for the top spot between Bostopia and Bazalonia should be good.

Traynor: Milchama and Ad’ihan absolutely cruise in group 4. Other then them, I think Quakmybush is very vulnerable. We’re in our fourth cup now, and have we ever seen a press release from them? I’m putting Terreiro de Ogum in third. Go Class of Baptism of Fire 27!

Collins: I agree with you again. Ad’ihan-Liventia are going to be a fun two games, I think. I don’t like teams like Quakmybush. Milchama can put in on cruise control, and Terreiro de Ogum, also in their fourth Cup, makes the big show.

Traynor: In group 5, Qazox, who’s been charging up the rankings is a cinch to make it. The Holy Empire as well. The Bloumans beat Az-Cz for the third spot.

Collins: Az-Cz, what were they, 9th, last time? They’ve fallen seventeen spots, and you have the Blouman Empire climbing the ranks. Az-Cz is past their prime, but I just don’t know if the Bloumans quite have enough to get by them. I’m, grudgingly, going with the top three seeds in this group. Nothing against Qazox and The Holy Empire, they are very deserving. It’s just this Az-Cz that I’d like to see drop.

Traynor: Let’s not forget to mention here that Az-Cz kept us from the playoff in World Cup 42 qualifying, which has to do with Kevin’s anger towards them.

Collins: Yes, ma’am.

Traynor: Group six. Demot, Daehanjeiguk, and Krytenia, pretty easy.

Collins: Agree. Magna Sancta Sedes is about to learn that the second time is tougher then the first. Advance the top three. The Han are one of my sleepers to win the whole thing.

Traynor: Group 7, The Archregminacy advances easily with two former group-mates from World Cup 42 right behind them, Jaseuyeon and Sorthern Northland.

Collins: It’s going to be a tough qualification for Sorthern Northland, as despite their efforts not too, they look they will qualify for the World Cup. I see Jaseuyeon vulnerable to Green Wombat here, but they survive. The Archregminacy is an obvious choice.

Traynor: We already did group 8, so in group 9 we have our neighbors from Secristan trying to qualify for the first time. But they won’t get as close as we did. Jeruselem and Kura-Pelland advance easily. Septentrionia holds off a stubborn KaMaRi for third.

Collins: Easy group to call. Jeruselem, Kura-Pelland, Septentrionia. Next?

Traynor: Next, and last, is Group 10. Cafundeu and Candelaria And Marquez have a good battle for first, but have nothing to worry about as far as advancing is concerned. Rennidan takes third.

Collins: Cafundeu and Candelaria And Marquez are obvious. Rennidan, I’m not so sure about. Land de Wood, and the University are going to make things difficult for them, and I sense a Cassadaigua upset in this group somewhere to muddle up the picture further. This battle for third is going to be very entertaining.

Traynor: So who’s it going to be?

Collins: Rennidan, I’m gonna wuss out of calling what I wanted too, which would have been Land de Wood.

Traynor: Alright, well that concludes our preview. Enjoy the World Cup qualifying, which of course, will depend on how well we do.

Collins: This is our Cup to qualify for.

"So, who'd we draw, Juan?"

"Just a second, Simeone, I have the envelope right here.... Group five includes Az-cz..."

"Fading fast, but dangerous."

"Cokenia"

"No idea"

"They're 64th in the world, old friend."

"Still never heard of them. Next."

"Swilatia"

"Dangerous once, but long since past their best. Isn't there anyone decent in this group?"

"Not sure I even know how to pronounce this next one. Oona.... Uhna...."

"Urna Eletrônica?"

"That's it."

"Did well in the Baptism of Fire, but no real danger."

"Tortuga y Hispaniola?"

"Pirates."

"We'll they'll fit right in when they visit. But I see what you mean, old friend - this is far from the worst group we could have had. Except we have drawn Qazox."

"One of the most wildly inconsistent and underachieving of long-standing World Cup teams? They may have crept into the top 10, Juan, but you'll forgive me for not shaking in my little Dreamed Realm booties."

"And finally we have the Blouman Empire. Now them I might be worried about."

"Ditto. Just the sort of up and coming mid-ranked team we've been known to slip up against in the past. So that's the group? Some fading gnomes, an inconsistent team that just about scrapes into the top 10, one up and coming squad and a bunch of no-hopers?"

"That's about the size of it, Simeone. But don't let that worry you. First we have to take care of the competition winner."

"Competition winner?"

"That's right. HEFA and ISPI ran a competition to allow a young Imperial citizen to train with the squad for a day."

"And?"

"And today's the day. See that rather skinny little green-skinned lad out there on the pitch for the 6-a-side training match? That's him?"

"Green-skinned?"

"Seen stranger things in Alasdairopolis...."


<60 minutes later>


"That... that... I'm speechless, Simeone."

"I think the word you're looking for is 'amazing'."

"You, there - the green-skinned lad... what did you say your name was?"

"Urko Urkes, sir."

"Sounds familiar, lad. Do I know you from anywhere?"

"Not recently, sir?"

"Not recently? Never mind that - how would you like to play for the Holy Empire this World Cup?"

"Are you sure you want to make that offer, Juan?"

"Simeone, in a one hour practice match, this lad shredded the best defence we had to offer, scoring ten goals. He's amazing. The most incredible green-skinned talent since... ah
<a ghost of a suspicion wanders across Tzimisces' brain; he decides to ignore it>
Well, never mind that. What about it lad? Do you want to play in the gold and red?"

"You really mean it, sir?"

"Of course I do. Urko Urkes - the world will soon remember that name, mark my words!"

To: Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas
From: Katie Simpson, Vice President, Interregional Relations- Secristan Department of Sports
Re: Thank you

Thanks for the quick response as I know you are a very busy woman! Send my best to the sickened FA head. This is a partnership that we are very excited about, and we will do everything we can to make sure both yourself and everyone who comes to the game will have an enjoyable time. In terms of the products to be sold, we might see a boring company like a mortgage company try to get in on it, but right now our it’s looking like stuff that the girls would enjoy, such as a leading mattress manufacturer wanting Kate Sallad and if she insists, her husband, but preferably, the highest bidder (bidders would be pre-screened to make sure that no one visually unappealing would be in the advertisement) to test the box spring’s durability with. Football related products will probably try to get in on it, and we may use some of them in advertisements of why they should be purchasing the pay-per-view telecasts of other games. Don’t worry about any PETA influence, they have no significant power here. Any portrayal of Jeruselem in any advertisement will be positive, or I will not allow it.

No one will be made to anything they don’t wish to do. It should be a fun time for everyone involved, and since it will come at the midway point of qualifying, it should be a nice and relaxed environment. We will be awaiting the paperwork and provide you with the details when the gametime gets closer. If I can be of any additional assistance, please let me know.

I hope your team wins the group and has a great World Cup run!

Cheers,
Katie Simpson

The phone rang. Alfredo Valente facepalmed. There wasn't much else he could do at this point, but answer it and see what his contact wanted this time.

“Mr. Valente. I've gotten reports that your team is undermanned and needs help in several areas on the pitch. No, you don't need to know how I know, just know that I always know. We'll will be sending you some...reinforcements if you will. They're all Arrozan citizens, never capped before obviously, but you could say that they're a bit...mercenary. See that they all get a starting spot. Goodbye”. The woman at the other end hung up the phone and lit a cigarette, the spark from the lighter, briefly illuminated her scarred face. Now as for those players. She picked back up the phone, dialing a string of out of country numbers.

[Slightly earlier, in a country not to be named:]

The giant black man sauntered on the field, and directly up to the manager of the mid-level side. Documentation was produced, documentation that said that the midfielder known to the small side solely as Rokuro, was infact of Arrozan birth, which was surprising enough given his vaguely asian looks, but that he was in fact under arrest for several crimes ranging from shoplifting to arson and cruelty to state-owned Tar Hornets. Naturally, the manager understood when they had to cart off his star midfielder in chains and shackles. The midfielder was them placed in a van, which drove off to the harbor, where a quite fast boat waited. The prisoner was placed on the boat, where he was un bound, shackled, ungagged and finally allowed to speak.

“What the hell are you doing with me? Where are we going? Why the hell did you take me from [team redacted]?”

The man punched Rokuro in the face. “Are you going to play midfielder for us?” He was then joined on the bridge by a snarling, angry looking young woman. “Are you going to play for us, or do I need to let Revy here have some time with you?” In the background, the female identified as Revy, cracked her knuckles.

“Are you sure that killing this guy's the best way to get him to do what we want?” noted a voice from the interior of the ship.

“You want to die too, Benjamin?” screamed the now ridiculously angry woman.

“Not really.”

“We're with an...offshoot of the Ministry of Sport. We do procurement, and other things of that nature. We were sent to get you to be the new Midfielder for the national team. And if you refuse, that laundry list of charges I pulled out back there will be enough to make sure that you stay in Angola State until you're a dried out husk. Understand?” A cellular phone rang, and the man picked it up. “Yes. We have him. No, not yet, but we'll have him in Secristan for the game. If he doesn't play, then I'd hate to see what would happen to him. Yes, ma'am.” He hung up the phone.

“Revy! We shoul be in Amherst in 8 hours. Make sure the new guy's 'convinced' by then.” Revy grinned evilly, stalking the prisoner.

The boat continued it's not quite leisurely path towards Secristan, where the National team was going to play it's friendly later this week. Eventually no one noticed the screaming, it was had gotten way too common.

Pre-qualifying friendly scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14136936&postcount=2) are now available.

Knights Win Both Pre Qualifying Friendlies

It started in Jeruselem were the Purple Knights were pumped to open up there new campaign against there 4th to fifth biggest rival, Jeruselem. The guys, and of course the girl on the Taehsnai team were all siked to get into action with some of the slutiest, an of course hottest chicks in the world. And in suprising fashion the Knights one the game. Yeah one of the top ten in the world and we've eaten them2 out of five times. ( ithink we tied and lost to them in WC41) Brian Ying Uing added to his career scroing mark with a glancer in off the back of the Jeruselem Goalie. They actually did leave happier then they thought they qwould if you get my meaning.

In there home qualifier the Knights took on up and comer Myedvedeyan who has been a big opponent since they entered the international stage earlier this year. The Knights would easily handle the young and inexpierienced Bears 2-0. Brian Ying Uing, and Zeke Jr. Would both score on fantastic goals.

Myedvedeyans Split Friendlies

Myedvedeya 2-1 Rennidan, Taeshan 2-0 Myedvedeya

Myedvedeya's international football squad played two friendlies yesterday, in preparation for the World Cup 43 qualifiers. First, (#30)Rennidan traveled to Myedvedeya, where they were surprisingly defeated by the score of 2-1.

"The players wanted this win very, very badly." Stated Coach Vladimir Sergyevitch Bagration. "Beating a top-32 team shows the world we mean business, and also prepares us for our trip to (#29)Lovisa in the first round of qualifiers. The boys went out, and played exactly as they played all through the baptism of fire, and got results. I was extremely pleased with the outcome."

Myedvedeya's victory may also have been aided by other factors. Moskva, the capital city of Myedvedeya, is notoriously difficult for visiting teams to play in, due to its temperature. In the hottest months of the summer, we average about 2 degrees Celsius, or 35.6 degrees fahrenheit. Temperatures rarely rise above 40 degrees fahrenheit, and the hottest days are around 45. In the wintertime, temperatures drop to an average of -23.3 celsius, or -10 fahrenheit. Opposing players who are not used to cold climates, and to the frequent snow and wind during the matches, will have a hard time concentrating on play.

Also, Myedvedeya's fans are notorious for being some of the loudest, most nationalistic people on the planet. A team traveling to Moskva, Pyotroveskovlad, Voroskaev, or any other large Myedvedeyan city can expect the stands to be filled to the brim. In the 220,000 capacity Krakovsky Stadion, for example, 200,000 of the seats are home fan seats, and every one of them will be filled. The most common "team song" is the Myedvedeyan national anthem, and hearing it screamed by a crowd of nearly a quarter-million is a truly bone-chilling experience. Another remarkable thing about Myedvedeyan fans is their tendency to bring live bears to the matches. Myedvedeyan bears are a sentient race, who govern themselves, entirely apart from the rest of the country. They do, however, like to come to sporting events, for the food, and the chance to roar their heads off at something.

This combination of Cold, Fans, and Bears makes Myedvedeya a formidable place for opposing teams to travel, much to the Myedvedeyans' delight. In yesterday's match against Rennidan, the Rennidanis seemed unnerved by the Moskvan surroundings, although they gathered themselves before the scoring began. Aloyoshenka Vorotaev netted the first goal, in the Thirty-Eighth, before Ivan Mizin added another in the Fifty-Third on a header. Rennidan pulled one goal back in the Sixty-Seventh. but it was not enough, as Myedvedeya cruised to an unexpected victory.

We were not so lucky, however, in Taeshan. (#39) Taeshan defeated the Kamchatka Grizzly Bears 2-0, in our second friendly of the day. The players were exhausted by the trip, and played a sluggish match, not managing to score against the skilled Taeshani defense.

All in all, however, Myedvedeya had a very good day on the pitch, any win against a top-32 team for a team ranked 82nd is a good day, and we have shown everyone what it will take to defeat us.

Myedvedeyan Goalscorers

Aloyoshenka Vorotaev- 1
Ivan Mizin- 1

for more World Cup news, log on to www.novymoskva.mye/WC43

THE NETHERTOPIAN SPORTSTIMES

OUCH!
NETHERTOPIA TAKES TWO LOSSES IN BOTH FRIENDLIES
Peregrinus City, Nethertopia - As normal, Nethertopia failed to impress at the start of a tournament. The friendlies against the Archregimancy & Candelaria And Marquez both went lost with a grand total of six goals againt the Falcons, whilst we were only able to score one.

The Archregimancy 3-0 Nethertopia
We don't know what's up with this. If it was the unusual stadium (a desert), the travel to the dreamed realm, or the baptism of Father Polycarp as First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee, it wasn't Nethertopia's night. The monks were focussed, and the Falcons failed to impress, despite playing at the top of their level.
Let's not focus on the ceremony, or on other details, like the complete Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom that, as usual, preceded the game.
The game started hopeful for Nethertopia, who had the ball in control and wasn't going to lose it to the monks of the Dreamed Realm. The monks seemed relaxed with this kind of play and let the Falcons have possession. The Scout didn't seem surprised by this move, but Trevor Organ got all enthusiastic, sending the team forward after ten minutes. And so Nethertopia started to attack. Not smart.
As soon as the Falcons got in front of the goal, with Soro passing Fr. John the Dwarf, the monks came into action. Fr Moses the Black easily picked up the ball, to pass it to Fr. the Dwarf, now without any opponent. He stormed towards goal, though in some sort of gracious way that the Falcons weren't used to playing. It looked rather divine, actually. Fr 'Diego of the Archregimancy' was swift to pass to Poeman, who quickly shoved the ball low and hard behind whatever was used to imitate the goal. Van Dalen was chanceless.
Now that the Falcons had seen the true power of the Dreamed Realm's team, they were way more careful with approaching the goal. The monks started getting out of their shell once more before the whistle for half time, once again resulting in a goal.
This because Nethertopia got greedy again, looking for the equaliser. This time it was Snip that lost the ball to his direct opponent in the 34th minute, at the moment he was about to test Fr. Anthony the Great. Fr. Macarius the Egyptian was the one to rob the ball from Snip. He gave a long pass to Fr. Ephraim the Syrian, who made it to the edge of the 16. He didn't come much further, because he was floored by Wildernis. Dumb foul, free kick, taken by Fr. Rufinius the New Ascetic, goal.

Nethertopia had a tough time and The Scout ad decided to make some major changes in his team. With five substitutions he hoped to reach more than in the first half. It actually worked out for the better.
The Falcons were more concentrated on not conceding the third goal, but still went out on the attack. They were actually dangerous in front of goal, with a ball from Soro that just missed the goal and another attempt from Frans Oud, which was saved by Fr. Anthony. The pressure was on, but towards the end of the game the Falcons hadn't scored once. They lost hope and slowly, the Archregimancy controlled the pace of the game. They scored their third close towards the end of the game, in the 88th minute. Poeman made his second of the day, with a beautiful bicycle kick. The assist from Fr. John Cassian was neat as well.

Score recap:
The Archregimancy 3 (Poeman 10, 88; Fr. Rufinius the New Ascetic 34) - Nethertopia 0


The Battle for Rushmore: Nethetopia 1-3 Candelaria And Marquez
Yup. We lost the Battle for Rushmore. We could've seen it coming, though. I mean, those guys are playing on a professional level for so much longer than we... Oh well, at least we've tried. Here's a match report anyway.
The Falcons had won the toss and were the team to kick off. The first quarter was actually a repeat of our match we played before against The Archregimancy. Nethertopia controlled the ball, went overconfident and got one against them. This time the goal fell in the eleventh minute, at the hands of Tom Ely.
Dries Pannekoek had misinterpreted a header, which was picked up by Adekunde. He gave the long pass towards Ely, who passed Wouter van Dalen with a nice lob and finished the ball in open goal.
The Falcons were surprised again, and The Scout was having a dark look on his face. He quickly made his first substitute, taking Soro off and bringing van Dam on. The Oxen cup duo, now located at the Marlbes, seemed to be doing a better job.
They even signed for the equaliser, just before the clock hit the half hour mark.
Oud took a free kick from 50 meters, into the penalty area. Van Dam was able to lengthen it and Snip finished if off with a shot into the right upper corner. Nethertopia had scored the equaliser and the 90,000 men that were in the stadium were going mad. The Falcons started to believe in a stunt and pushed forward a little more. But except for a corner, which was saved by Joel Sbaïz. The referee, gorilla Bokito, whistled for rest.

After the break Nethertopia went out fully again, but somehow failed to impress. In fact, after a fierce first five minutes, the Falcons let their head down. What was going on? No Nethertopian could tell. But the Big Blues gained control of the match, eventually scoring in the 54th minute, after a beautiful solo from Smith, who started behind the middle line. He finished the bal coolly in the left middle corner, bringing Candelaria And Marquez in front again.
But the most exciting thing that happened during this game didn't have anything to do with football. Suddenly, in the 68th minute, Bokito had somehow gone mad. He made a run for it, Took Joel Sbaïz out of his goal and escaped the stadium. He saw a butty wagon somewhere close to the stadium and really wanted a hot dog. But since he wouldn't pay for it, the shop keeper refused to give it to him. He was lured back to the game with the hot dog eventually and the game continued.
Both teams were confused with what had happened, but it were the Big Blues who were first to wake up again and they scored their third of the game.
It was once again Tom Smith who scored, shooting a loose ball from a corner behind van Dalen after a failed corner.
The rest of the match the play more or less waved down, with both sides seeking for another goal, but neither of them broke the deadlock.

Score recap:
Nethertopia 1 (Snip, 29) - Candelaria And Marquez 3 (Ely, 11; Smith 54, 77)

Dancougar News!!
Totally off topic BCS rant GO!!!!

Rockets set tone for Group 8: It was the first of three meetings with the Newmanistan Rockets, and as the schedule worked out, this would make them evenly spaced. A friendly before qualifying, and then games that count right before the midpoint and end of the qualifying stage proper. But who's to say that in the minds of these players, this game didn't count? It was a rare chance to engage the competition early, and if the result is any indication, then the Rockets have to like their chances of making their first World Cup.

In coach Solomon Bilbao's first international, the Black Wings were downed 2-0 on a first half goal by team captain Jeremy McAllister and a late dagger from Brett Prescott, the wily old enforcer. The second half of the game saw some furious running by Dancougar's outside midfielders, but anything that wasn't gobbled up by Rocket 'keeper Corey Hennis was rejected outright by his post, as Shishio Jinguuji watched two headers go off the crossbar.

"Obviously, we came in wanting a result," said Bilbao, who nevertheless praised his teams performance. "I thought we did a lot of nice things off the ball; the finishing wasn't there."

Fans will hope this isn't an ominous preview of the two matches to follow, or of Group 8 qualifying in general. The Wings open at home to dark horse Glaycia.

The opening fifteen minutes were fairly even, with a few tepid shots for each team and no real penetration. The best chance came in the 19th when Tony Borsinger found Alex Parnett on a long ball that caught the Dancougar defense napping, but his shot was straight at Yuji Watanabe and it was hastily cleared. The goal came in minute 26 when Prescott found McAllister making a run down the left side of the box. His pass was beyond the lunging Casey Berber, and the show was low and with just enough clearance to sneak past the post.

"You know, you always got to go for those balls that are inside like that," said Watanabe. "I thought it would go wide, but Mac just doesn't miss from there."

The goal triggered a rally by the Black Wings that saw the first of Jinguuji's post-huggers, which came on a corner kick in the 34th. Dan Potts also rifled a shot just wide in the 36th after sneaking behind the young Scott LeFave, who drew the ire of the almost-beaten Hennis.

The game opened up in the second half when the Rockets, not content to sit on a one-goal lead and let the Wings continue to take potshots at goal, went forward on a series of counterattacks that threatened to widen the gap. Potts and Jinguuji had attempts saved in the first ten minutes, and Parnett was unlucky not to double the lead on a 25-yard strike that took a deflection into the path of Watanabe.

The five-man Dancougar midfield had been touted before the tournament as a scrappy backbone, but precious little offense came out of it. "I wanted the midfield to be a little more aggressive, but it's the first time playing together for some of these guys, so we'll take it was we go," said Bilbao. The Wings sorely missed the free-kick panache of Akira Morimoto.

The Rockets ended the comeback bid in the 82nd, when Prescott got tangled up with new team captain Kevin Underwood and earned a free kick ten yards outside the box. He took it himself, a superb strike over the three man wall that crashed into Watanabe's net with nary a movement from the 'keeper. It was a strong message to the group that the old man still has some bite!

No brutes for Rennidan, no victory: The Rennidan Eagles were surprise qualifiers in World Cup 42, and they'll expect nothing less in this edition with a young team that's simply bursting with energy and drive. Unlike their counterparts on the gridiron, with whom we're already familiar, the Association Football Eagles have already proven their ability to spring an upset, especially when it counts.

But the Wings would shrug off the loss to Newmanistan and tackle the Eagles with a three goal effort, winning 3-1 at the National Stadium. The midfield play was more inspired as goals came from Lyle Dylandy and Kazuki Midorikawa, with Dan Potts netting what turned out to be the winner just before halftime. "I don't think our focus changed much from the first friendly," said Solomon Bilbao, who eased some doubts from the Newmanistan game with the win. "We found the holes in the back and were able to capitalize, and I thought we did better on set pieces."

They didn't yield any goals, but the free kicks and corners coming from Lyle Dylandy and Benjamin Whittaker were, indeed, of higher quality than the first game. "All the practice in the world doesn't help you really understand how other guys play like a real game does," he said. "After playing the Rockets, we got a little better sense of how we move, what we're looking for."

The Wings got the opening goal 16 minutes into the match. Rennidan's five-man defense didn't let the Wings get close early, with the only effort coming from Dan Potts in the 8th, and it was unceremoniously turned aside by Sam Fortal. But this time, a deflection opened the path to goal, as Midorikawa lashed the rebound through the defense, taking care to keep the ball down. Diar Twils didn't expect the ball to squirt through, and the Wings had their lead. It would double on the stroke of halftime when Whittaker's long lob found Dan Potts, who turned past Henry Iopi and beat Twils to the far post to make it 2-0.

Rennidan rallied after the break and saw two shots by Drunn Daleks turned aside by Watanabe. The second effort was a beauty, too, with Daleks holding off a challenge by Sho Yukikaze to drive one high. Watanabe poked it over goal, preferring not to take any chances, and replays showed it would have definitely struck the underside of the bar. Dancougar weathered the storm, but would cede the goal anyway in the 59th when midfielder Macki Selks received the ball from Fortal at the top of the box, got separation from Kevin Underwood, and fired a low ball that beat the diving Watanabe.

Dancougar got the two-goal lead back five minutes later. Dylandy pulled off a give-and-go with Shishio Jinguuji that sprung him through the defense, and from six yards out, he capitalized. That made it 3-1 with still over twenty minutes to play. Bilbao went to a 4-5-1 by exchanging Potts for defender Brad Leeds, who made his international debut. Leeds proved to be just the man they were looking for, especially with Rennidan defender Henry Harolds coming on as a substitute. Harolds at first surprised the team with his long runs in support of the attack, but Leeds was there to shut him down.

The Wings will be satisfied with their friendly results, but will be looking to do more against Glaycia and The Bostopian Empire. They will open qualifying before a highly-charged home tie with regional powerhouse Starblaydia.

THE ROCKET REPORT

TWO OUTTA THREE AIN’T BAD

Pocono City, Newmanistan- Newmanistan has finished off their pre-qualifying friendly season, and like a Phantastic team leading a best-of-seven series two games to one, the past went well but you know that there is still a lot more work to be done. The Rockets were on the road twice, once against Dancougar in the third installement of the Golden Ambiguous Bird on Skates Trophy and once against Milchama. The game against Dancougar would take on increased significance since the teams are in the same group for qualifying. Newmanistan then returned home to Pocono City to have a battle with Secristan.

We’ll start off with the defeat, which came to Milchama. Even with the Rockets making strides in the rankings, they still cannot compete with the Warriors on a World Cup stage. They had a closer Oxen Cup match, but it would be Milchama winning for the fourth time in four tries over Newmanistan, and they did it on great form, 6-2. Initially, this game didn’t seem as it was going to end that badly as the teams battled pretty even in the first half of play, trading goals back and forth. Milchama took the lead in the 10th minute on a Hannah Merrian goal, only to see Newmanistan tie it in the 15th on a tally by Jeremy McAllister. The Warriors went back in front in the 28th minute thanks to Kenji Miller’s goal, only to be answered in the 35th minute by on beautiful strike by Shawn Drummond. Late in the first half, Milchama went back in front, on Merrian’s second of the game, in the 44th to make it 3-2 in their favor. It was an exciting opening, and it seemed as though it would carry over into the second half. It did, but just for one team. The second half belonged to the great Bugsy Borker, who we remember back from the 7th Oxen Cup, although we never actually went up against him. In the Oxen Cup, Borker had to do it all by himself, and still managed to do a great job. Now, he had help. In the first half, Borker seemed a little off his game just by the fact that he had teammates out on the pitch with him. During the half, we would assume that Milchama went over strategy to get Borker the ball a little more, and he would score in the 55th minute to make it a two-goal lead, and the frustration on the face of the Rockets was obvious in having to deal with his superhuman powers. Corey Hennis, in goal, was also frustrated, since Borker really seemed to be able to disguise his shots very well just as he would unload the shot. Newmanistan was starting to get some momentum going, but lost it when Alex Parnett received a yellow card after he slipped over the picture of Marc J. Floren. Upset, he picked up the picture and attempted to rip it half only to have Colton Volom save his teammate from a tough fate. Borker sealed the game with a goal in the 68th, then added one in the 75th to have the final be 6-2. Afterwards, Brian Carson could only refer to the game as “Interesting.” Yes, that it was.

The friendly that everyone was talking about was the showdown with Dancougar. It was the pre-arranged third edition of the Golden Ambiguous Bird on Skates Trophy, a series which was tied at 1-0-1 before the game, with each team owning a victory on the other’s turf. Then came the announcement that the two teams would be put in the same qualifying group, and all of the sudden this game would increase in meaning as there was more of a desire for both to see how they would match up against one another. Both teams may have been a little cautious not to show the other too much, knowing there would be far more important matches later, but once again this game had everything that is great about Newmanistan and Dancougar matchups. The opening was a bit cautious by both teams, but eventually Newmanistan began to get some positive movement in their direction. After a great chance in the 19th minute by Alex Parnett, the Rockets got the first goal of the game in the 26th minute, coming off the foot of Jeremy McAllister, after receiving a great pass from Brett Prescott. The goal opened up the pace of the game for both teams, and soon enough the Black Wings were creating their best chances of the match, with two great opportunities in a span of two minutes late in the first half, but timely goalkeeping by Corey Hennis ensured that the game would remain 1-nil going into the intermission. Newmanistan came out on all cylinders in the second half, with an impressive ability to dominate the midfield with Parnett and Prescott for long stretches of the match. This was a pleasant surprise, and if its something that can continue into qualifying, then things look promising. Though we’re sure adjustments will be made by Dancougar. After making some big defensive plays, Brett Prescott sealed the victory in the 82nd minute off a free kick with a perfectly placed strike over the wall. It was an impressive effort for Prescott, who is set on proving to the world, then him getting older just means he is getting smarter. Yes, we would have preferred this result during qualifying instead of a friendly, but it should give the team a ton of confidence that they can beat Dancougar again. Also, given the two friendly wins on the road, they should feel good about coming here in matchday seven as well. Brian Carson was very happy about this win, saying, “It’s a confidence booster, obviously, knowing that we got to play them twice, and it erases the memory of what Milchama did to us, especially for Corey Hennis. The Black Wings have a more customary roster, and we always like to play them. We’ll know that we can beat them again.”

The lone home friendly was a showdown between One Big Island neighbor Secristan, who is making the jump to interregional play in football for the first time. The Millionaires had a strong Baptism of Fire performance, making it all the way to the final before losing to Myedvedeya. There is always a rivalry when the two teams meet, but in football, Newmanistan are a few steps ahead of Secristan, and that showed on this day. Jeremy McAllister, playing in his 99th game scored in the games 3rd minute to get the crowd on their feet right away. J-Mac then added his second goal of the game, and fourth of the friendlies in the 15th minute to put Newmanistan up comfortably by the score of 2-nil. Newmanistan has to be feeling very good about the play of McAllister in the friendlies, and if this can continue in the qualifiers, then we just may be going to either Valanora or Vephrall for the World Cup. In the 32nd minute, Alex Parnett got his name on the scoresheet with a goal that took the life out of the Secristanis. Their team is defensive minded, and they didn’t really seem to play with any urgency to make a great comeback. Instead it seemed like they continued to try to work on their defense in the second half just to try to keep the score at 3-nil. In a friendly, that’s not a terrible plan, we suppose, when in their situation with the kind of team that they put out there. But their effort to shut the Rockets out in the second half was denied in the 63rd minute on a Shawn Drummond blast. That would be the final, and the Rockets were glad that the first official interregional match between the two went in their favor. On the win, Carson said, “This was a great game that we played. We have to be able to get wins against the teams that we should be beating on paper, and here we had an inspired opponent and played a terrific game. They had everything to play for with the whole regional respect deal, and we took it to them in a very impressive manner. We have to take this now into The Bostopian Empire for our opener there, and I believe that we will. We seem to be in good shape.”

The Bostopian Empire will be the matchday one opponent, and the Rockets will not be allowed to look past this game and towards the matchday two game against Starblaydia at home with all the extra fanfare because of Jeremy McAllister. The captain told the team, “My 100th cap is here (the Bostopian Empire game), not there (Starblaydia game). If my 100th cap is messed up by a loss to this team, I will not be a happy camper.” That sounds like plenty of good motivation for us!

[OOC: Apologies for not getting my roster up - this post needed to come through first, as you will see. I also do not usually write in the first-person or present tense, so bear with me if it is terrible.]

ANDROMACHE: You are Ilsinha, correct?
ILSINHA: Yes, ma'am.
ANDROMACHE: And you are formerly of IYC Kaltar, now play for CA Condadore in Aguazul, correct?
ILSINHA: That is correct.
ANDROMACHE: Please state your business here.
ILSINHA: It is a very complicated matter...

One week ago, the offices of the head of the LIDYT, Deron Smithes

"There's nothing that I can do anymore, Ilsinha. It isn't my job." Deron Smithes was the third most-capped player in the history of the Grand Democratic Duchy. He had been a thunderous goalkeeper in his time, a Cup of Harmony victor, and, certainly, a very intelligent man. His voice, however, betrayed his concern; he had a strange amount of softness latched on to each syllable, and his voice belayed his attempts to conceal that softness. "You've tried everything you can. I'm afraid that it simply isn't going to happen now. You tried enough." He had never been the type of man to give up, but Deron Smithes had always identified himself as a realist and had always believed that it was his job to help others when they needed that aid.

"That isn't good enough, Deron." Sitting on the other side of the desk was a beautiful young woman. She was slim, but well-built, an athlete's body. Her muscles were evident even as she wore her loose-fitting clothing. But it wasn't her clear strength, or even her black hair, curling down the bottom of her head, that attracted the eye. Instead, it was the striking features of her face - the profile, carved as if it were from stone, the expression, dead-set on what it wanted, and the eyes, the some of the most memorable eyes ever seen on a woman of her age. "I'm sorry, but this isn't good enough, and you know it just like I do." Her voice evoked memories of a whip - striking down on Deron Smithes, as if she was punishing him.

"Ilsinha, I think you know just as well as I do that this isn't done. You've tried as hard as you can. Now accept the realities of our current sporting world." The minute that Deron spoke those last words, he regretted them. Ilsinha had never been the type of person to give up; she had played football/soccer at a youth level, been too good for the youth level, and thus entered the Women's LIDYT while still in high school, breaking all sorts of internal rules in the process. Those were rules that Ilsinha, with her perseverance, talent, and sheer will had broken down. Deron knew as well as anyone that when Ilsinha had bent her mind on something, she planned to carry it to its full length, no matter if it was breaking tradition or breaking the law. If anyone could do both, it would have been here.

"That is not enough!" She had risen, now, and her eyes displayed the sheer anger that she had been, unsuccessfully, attempting to conceal for the hour and a half that she had been in the room. "It's more than simply me wanting to be on a team. I can do that. It's about more than me. About what I deserve. About what women in this country deserve." Ilsinha, Deron was sure, knew as well as anyone how the sport was broken down between the genders. There was a women's team and a men's team. There was a women's league and a men's league. The women had consistently outperformed the men at both an internal and international level, on the field and off. The trouble was with the World Cup. There had once been a women's World Cup, a cup for females to display their skill on the field. That no longer existed.

These were the realities of the situation as Ilsinha saw it and, as both knew, Deron agreed with her. Women now did not have a team with which to play. The national team now referred to the men's national team. It wasn't a matter of sexism or even of some misplaced sense of masculine superiority (if anything, the IYF/SA was keeping away a majority of the better players in the Grand Democratic Duchy with the law), but instead a belief in old principle. The IYF/SA had attempted to rectify the situation before; the Yaforite Oxen Cup team had been all female, but it had been unsuccessful (moreover, Ilsinha, the star of the female team had injured herself just prior to the announcement, so had her own angers regarding that incident). Deron agreed with her in her belief that she ought to play on the national team.

The trouble was that Deron had not been lying - it was not his place. He was head of the LIDYT, and thus was the final arbiter of cases relating to the LIDYT, but what Ilsinha wanted was an IYF/SA matter, and Andromache, who would have been one of the main deciders in that regard, was against any decision that she perceived as "bringing women down to the level of men", which was how many women perceived Ilsinha's crusade. She would find no support there. Unless..."I've done everything I can. But I can get you into a meeting of the senior members of the IYF/SA. With enough pressure, they might bend to your request.

It's the last I can do, however. And I can't advocate for you." And for the first time he had ever seen her do so, Ilsinha nodded docilely and left the room as if she was satisfied.

Three days later, outside the offices of the IYF/SA

I look down at my feet. This is it and I'm entirely sure of it. Deron wasn't lying when he said that this was all that he could do, and that means that, for me and my pursuit of the ultimate goal, this is all that I can do. Simply wait outside, wait until they call me inside, give my speech, knowing that they've already made up their minds, hoping that enough of them made up their minds in my favor. I've already gone through their names, a listing of the great men in the sport, the great women as well. All seven of them, the final deciders of my future in this sport. I know who will support me. I know who won't. I just don't know how the numbers will align themselves and I think that's what I fear the most - the fact that, for the first time, the decision isn't in my hands. Someone else has the power.

"Ilsinha, I presume." I look up, into the face of someone who also shares wall-space in my room and cannot help gasping. Inside, I insult myself repeatedly (I have to keep control of myself if I am to get this!), but I know that it's fine if I let myself go like that. It's Iktam Velastros, for Ravantur's sakes! I grew up watching him play the sport that I love on the same fields that I want to play on! I mean, he was the type of person who I wished I could be. I wished it! And now, he's standing here, next to me, asking me who I am, stating that he knows my name. That's the type of thing any little girl dreams about.

"You're Iktam Velastros! I used to watch you in those games, back when I was a teenager!" Now where did that come from? I thought that I prided myself on controlling myself, not letting myself go. He is Iktam Velastros though. He chuckles, and I realize that maybe I've said something I shouldn't have. Or perhaps I have said exactly what he wishes me to? "Not long before you joined the Women's LIDYT, I presume. I just wanted to say that I'm supporting you in every way that I can in there." I remember suddenly that he's one of the people who will be making the decision for my future and I harden my face somewhat. It's good to have him on my side, but I know that I can't appear too giddy, or else I won't get what I'm looking for, after all. It isn't like getting a place on the national team is easy, or anything.

I flash a smile. "Thank you," I say, somewhat hesitantly, but he's already through the door. It is in that moment that I realize that this isn't really about me in their eyes. In their eyes, it's about getting the best possible team on the field while making it fair to everyone who deserves a place on the team. To some, that means that I should be in no matter what. To others, that means that I should be denied in every circumstance. To both sides, I'm just a pawn in their interpretation of the rules - if anything, I'm that lawsuit that challenges that controversial ruling a previous case. If it isn't me, it will be someone else in the future. Later, I would dwell on that thought, but now, all I can do is think that perhaps I am dispensable, that perhaps what I do really doesn't matter.

Before I can finish my thoughts, the door opens and I follow someone inside to the place of judgment.

Moskva International Airport
8:41PM Moskva Time

Bagration: Players, we face a tough match tonight. Lovisa is ranked number Twenty-nine in the world, and they will put up a fight, especially in their own stadium. To get a good result, we will have to fight like bears out there.

Dolohov: We know we can play like that. Look at us so far, we beat Rennidan. They're only a rank lower than the Lovisans.

Bagration: True, but that was a home game. We will have to fight twice as hard to win on the road.

Airline Employee: TsarsAir Flight 232 to Lovisa will be boarding in 25 minutes. I repeat, TsarsAir Flight 232 to Lovisa will be boarding in 25 minutes.

Bagration: Get ready guys. Last chance for food and the like. I'll be here with a paper, don't disturb me unless it's really necessary.

(Players go off in various directions, Vorotaev, Romasko, and Pencherjevsky all go off to the bar)

Vorotaev: Last chance for some real Myedvedeyan Vodka before we're in Lovisa.

Romasko: I like the way you think, Aloyoshenka.

Pencherjevsky: Shame I'm only 17... I would have loved to join you.

Romasko: Come on, Vassili. Havent you learned anything from living in Myedvedeya your whole life. How dumb are you?

Vorotaev: The point he's making is that no one cares.

Pencherjevsky: Ohhhh. Okay.

Romasko: A bottle of Vodka for the three of us please.

Barkeep: Sure, boys.

Barkeep: Say, aren't you Aloyoshenka Vorotaev?

Vorotaev: Why yes I am. What can I do for you?

Barkeep: Will you sign something for my son? He's a huge fan. (goes behind the bar and pulls out a Vorotaev jersey)

Vortaev: Certainly (Signs the numbers with a large, flashy signature)

Barkeep: Thank you so much, this will make it that much of a better Christmas present.

Vorotaev: No trouble.

Romasko: Why is it always you that gets the attention?

Vorotaev: I'm beautiful.

Romasko: I'm not that drunk, Aloyoshenka.

Vorotaev: Give it some time.

(The players drink the bottle of Vodka, order another one, drink it, order a third...)

Vorotaev: Wha... What time was the plane supposed to be... leaving?

Pencherjevsky: Nine... nine oh... five.

Vorotaev: What time is it now?

Romasko: T...Twelve Thirty-Seven...

Vorotaev: Oh fuck... we...we missed it....

Romasko: How are we going to get to... Vislova?

Pencherjevsky: It's Loisav, you dumbass...

Vorotaev: Lisoav, actually. Anyway, that's... not our main c... concern right now.

Pencherjevsky: Let's go see if the team left...

(They travel to the gate, see that there is no-one there)

Romasko: F...F...Fuck.

Vorotaev: Now what.

Pencherjevsky: Does anyone know... how to fl..fly a plane?

Vorotaev: Why?

Pencherjevsky: We could... mug a pilot.

Romasko: That... that is the best idea I have ever heard.

(The players board a small propellor plane, and Romasko clubs the pilot in the head with a serving tray.)

Vorotaev: Alright, here we go. I think if i push this, we'll...

Romasko: We're flying!

Pencherjevsky: Lovisa, here we come...

Gwynfardd Lopulalan had once told him: “The advice of the aged will not mislead you.” It was a Bettian proverb, apparently, passed down to the KT Hotspur right-back by his parents. Joel Sbaïz, whose parents hailed from a long-since ceased nation in Tunisia (back before it had fallen to Macedonia expansionism and forced the Sbaïzes to resettle once more, this time in the Candelarias), had countered with: “No one will say, ‘My father is incontinent.’ Everyone will say, ‘He is a man of advice and wisdom.’”

They’re quite cultured up in Rose of Sharon, in a Marxist-Leninist sort of way.

Joel whistled vaguely in his goal line, for no reason in particular. Basically, it was all over bar the shouting, the grudging handing over of the newly-minted Battle for Rushmore Celebratory Trophy of Togetherness and Inter-Regional Harmony to the visiting Candelariasian team, and the stealthy retreat back to the relative safety of Peregrinus City International Airport and the flight back to Albrecht. The score might only have been two-one, but the Big Blues had hit their stride now, and Joel had barely had a sight of the El din Marbles front pairing this half. The Nethertopians were chasing shadows, and the C&M defence had metaphorical cigars on. The unbeaten friendly record was set to continue.

Far in the distance, Jamie González shot wide and Wouter van Dalen scooped the ball up unenthusiastically and passed to Jan Wildernis. The Falcons’ defence were happy enough to play a bit of keep-ball, it seemed, and avoid conceding any more with Tom Smith in this kind of mood. Joel swung cheerfully on his crossbars, for the sake of something, anything, to do.

On considered reflection, this was a poor choice. The Dariusvillian referee glanced at him sourly, and turned away from the play in the Nethertopian half. Bokito loped forwards, his eyes set firmly on Sbaïz, brushing aside the damp protestations of Caleb Christmas with a mighty swing of his fist. He reached the penalty spot, knuckles resting gently on the Falcon Stadium grass. Joel proffered him a cheerful grin.

And in that instance, the words of Thomas Larson flickered into the goalkeeper’s head. He may have left KT Hotspur long behind now, for a new life in Chelmar, but something the venerable former Playing2God striker had said during his short spell in charge of the Spur screamed at Sbaïz in technicolour.

“Joel, lad,” Larson had told him, “Remember this, will you? If you ever find yourself playing an international football match refereed by a gorilla, don’t smile at him – he might interpret it as an act of aggression. Also, don’t be afraid to spray to the flanks, even when a successful counter-attack doesn’t look likely.”

***

Seamus Zheng stared at the pitch, and then stared at Mack Hession, and then stared at the pitch. And then stared at Mack Hession.

“Um?”

“Mm?”

“Um.”

“You alright, Shame?”

“Um. You’re not writing anything.”

The Albrecht Herald reporter glanced at his fingers. “Apparently not, no.”

“Um?”

“It’s a break in play, isn’t it? I’ll just finish me pie, and then I’ll sort out Smith’s goal. We’re allowed a couple of minutes off, here and there, us sports reporters, kid. You’ll learn that soon enough.”

“But… Mister Hession, the referee’s eloped with our goalkeeper!”

“Ye-es,” Hession admitted, grudgingly. “Yeah. ‘Spect he’ll be back, though. He’s probably just peckish.”

“You think he’s going to eat him?!”

The older man put a hand on the horrified boy’s shoulder. “Nah. Use your eyes, son, take everything in. Look, see? He’s just after a sandwich.”

“Oh.” Seamus relaxed slightly. “But… You’re still not writing anything, Mister Hession! They have a gorilla, a gorilla, sir, as a referee! And he’s just run off with twenty-two cap C&M international goalkeeper Joel Sbaïz! People will want to hear about this back home sir, especially with the TV1 camera crew on strike! The Herald will be their first real source of information! This is exactly why I want to go into journalism, Mister Hession! The people must be told!”

“Yeah,” Hession acknowledged, noncommittally. He sighed, as far below a Nethertopian steward waved a hot dog in front of the referee’s nose. “You really want to go into journalism, kid? Proper journalism like, not just sports reporting?”

Seamus nodded. “Me da wants me to be a chef, just like him. Down at Finnegan’s Wok in Irish Street? I don’t mind cooking and stuff, y’know, but… When they said I could shadow you for work experience… This is, like, the most exciting thing I’ve ever done, Mister Hession! And what better way to serve one’s country than to open their eyes to the world?”

Hession rolled his own and Zheng’s hopeful expression. Second-generation Northlandish Candelariasians were just weird. “Alright, lad. Here’s what we write. The referee, Howard Bokito of Dariusville, had a generally solid first game on his own international debut, barring a brief contretemps with Joel Sbaïz during the second half, displaying his youthful naivety at this highest level. Smith was unfortunate not to be granted a penalty on the seventieth minute, when Green Island left-back Jerome de Wit caught h–”

“A bloody great gorilla just stole our goalkeeper!”

“Language, kid! ‘The C&M goalkeeper’. We have to remain impartial, there’s all sorts who read the Herald, remember? Plenty of Nethertopians in Albrecht these days, y’know?” He shook his head. “There was no gorilla, Seamus. He was a big, hairy guy, such as one would expect to find in foreign climes.”

“He’s naked!”

“And? You’re too young to have seen Rejistania in their prime, that’s all. Just be thankful it’s only a friendly. I’d hate to find out where he keeps his cards.”

“So… We don’t say anything? We don’t tell the truth, we jus–”

“We report on the football, Seamus. Ely’s goal, Snip’s goal, Smith’s goal. And whatever ends up happening in the last twenty minutes. That’s what matters, kid. Football. You’ll learn, lad. That’s how we do it in the Candelarias.”

“Fine,” the boy muttered sourly. He turned back to the pitch, where a shaken Sbaïz was being understandably substituted in favour of Felix Currey. “So, what happens now then?”

“What? After a gorilla’s just run off with one of the goalkeepers, been mollified with a bacon-based bread product, and returned to the field of play?”

“Yeah.”

Hession shrugged. “Restart with a drop-ball?”

"Wow that was one crazy game"

"Yep, our first lineup looks set and ready to go"

"Yeh definitely, how about that center back Merrian getting two goals?"

"She did, that's ridiculous"

"It really is, I never would have thought that could happen"

"Well she is a striker"

"True, it just proves the strength in depth of this squad"

"Very true, I hope we can do better this time"

"Yeh, I actually just hope we can settle on a lineup"

"Me too, oh well"

"Yeh"

"Did you know the group draw was out as well?"

"Really?!"

"Yep"

"Well let's see, go ahead"

"Ok, well let me look ummm.... here you go"

GROUP 4
(50) Terreiro de Ogum
(6) Milchama
(71) Magnus Valerius
(68) Liventia
(165) Miroxia
(32) Quakmybush
(14) Ad'ihan
(165) Australiah

"Nice all these teams should be easy"

"Yeh the papers were making fun of them this morning. As is usual they said we should go undefeated but they did think we would draw Ad'ihan once as well as have a hard time against Miroxia"

"I don't think the Kahenas curse still exists"

"It might not but people still believe it does and that's good enough"

"I guess but those goddamn fish monkeys are going to destroy this fine nation"

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

"Are you trapped in this body and can't get out?"

"Why yes I am"

"Then get body snatched"

"No thanks"

"Ok well back to football"

"Come on you Warriors!"

"Come on you Warriors!"

Globo Multimedia's weekend sports show, with Breno Gavião, returns from a 10-minute commercial break. In this week's program, many guests, including the coach of Clube Imperial Javier Sanchez, the coach of Cafundéu Júlio Vargas, midfielder Augusto César, lineswoman Natália Gomes, player agent Bernardo Cascavel and Breno's assistant Michelle Diniz.

BRENO - "We arrrrrre back? Okay, wherrrrre is Augusto, I need to talk to him soon in the prrrrrrogrrrrrram, brrrrring him back!"

MICHELLE - "We are already on air, Breno."

BRENO - "Hello to all our frrrrrriends of Globo Multimedia, we rrrrrreturrrrrrn to your prrrrrrogrrrrrram "Olha o Gol!" this Sunday, with many imporrrrrtant guests. Another season for the Cafundelenses, another Worrrrrrld Cup! Once again we have to play in the qualifierrrrrrs, which harrrrrdly arrrrrre easy for us... the easiest was when we werrrrre rrrrranked below the top hundrrrrred nations (OOC: 104th), getting the qualification in our firrrrrrst attempt."

MICHELLE - "Now let's talk about the state championships..."

BRENO - "Augusto isn't herrrrre yet (wherrrrre is he?)"

MICHELLE - "Change topics, then, fast!"

BRENO - "Well (what I can do now? Let's play with the guests...) let's talk about the rrrrrreferrrrreeing of the Cafundelense state championships... do you think it has been good?"

SANCHEZ - "I don't think so, Breno. In our game of the last week, not today's, Atlético Jutense was clearly helped by the referee. That penalty over Drummond didn't exist, and Williams was sent off because of that! This without counting that penalty over Cunningham that the referee didn't see..."

BRENO - "Well, that game ended thrrrrrree against zerrrrrro for Atlético Jutense... but Clube Imperrrrrial is still fighting for the title, in thirrrrrd place, just six points behind the leader Cafundó do Juta."

SANCHEZ - "Yes, it's not impossible. It's just my first year as a coach of such a big team, but I'm working hard. We still have chances."

BRENO - "What about you, Varrrrrgas? The rrrrreferrrrreeing has been acceptable?"

VARGAS - "That game between Petardos S/A and América in the Lasft state championship was ridiculous... Petardos was clearly helped, with that penalty over Mengucci and the fact that the referee gave just a yellow to Hawk when he elbowed Rossi in the beginning of the game. But, overall, refereeing has improved, and we have some of the best referees of the world."

NATÁLIA - "I'm happy to hear you saying this, Júlio. Most people usually only point the mistakes that the referees make during the games, without noticing that in most games we make a good job. The Cafundelense refereeing is good, but mistakes can happen. Just think of our history of participating in important World Cup games, including one World Cup final."

MICHELLE - "And, by the way, you were an assistant in this game..."

Augusto César suddenly appears in his chair.

BRENO - "(Finally!) And, Augusto César, what do you have to say about A.F.F.'s brrrrrilliant victorrrrry today against Penderrrrrs, by the rrrrresult of six against zerrrrrro!"

AUGUSTO - "We were confident after winning the last five games of the competition, while Penders is not in a comfortable situation. But, surely, we weren't expecting such a big win. I'm glad we were able to give this present to our fans, and I hope this can mean that we are ready to win the title again."

BRENO - "It seems that no one can rrrrreally stop A.F.F. in the Old Cities State. But now let's go to another issue: the Worrrrrld Cup drrrrrraw. Let's talk about the teams in our grrrrrroup, frrrrrom the weakest to the strrrrrrongest in the rrrrrrankings. Firrrrrrst, Saturrrrrday Sporrrrrt."

VARGAS - "Not a real country."

MICHELLE - "What?"

VARGAS - "Yes, they aren't a real country, just a group of radio people playing football. The Cafundelense government doesn't recognize them and we expect two easy and big victories."

NATÁLIA - "Well, it's better to be cautious."

Everybody else laughs at her comment, even Breno Gavião.

BRENO - "We just can't lose. The next team is Colbourrrrrne. Played in the mixed grrrrroup of the Baptism of Firrrrre, that one that qualified only two teams for the knockout stage."

SANCHEZ - "Don't seem a threat for me. For Cafundéu and Candelaria And Marquez, my two loved countries."

VARGAS - "Yes, we expect more victories against them."

CASCAVEL - "This is a game for our players to show their ability, maybe even making some beautiful plays to entertain the supporters."

AUGUSTO - "But our first objective is the victory."

BRENO - "What about Cassadaigua, fourrrrrth placed in the Baptism of Firrrrre?"

CASCAVEL - "I heard that they are forbidden to enter in the Landau Institute forever... this is nice, I like them just for this. The enemies of the Landau Institute are our allies."

AUGUSTO - "Yes, I heard that too. I agree, if the Institute dislike them, this can only mean that they are nice people."

NATÁLIA - "These women can be dangerous... I, as a woman, can say that when we want something, we get it."

MICHELLE - "That's right."

CASCAVEL - "Maybe this can work for other things, but won't work for a victory against the Monopolists."

BRENO - "I agrrrrree with Berrrrrnarrrrrdo. Our team seems verrrrry good and morrrrrre than able to defeat Cassadaigua without difficulties."

VARGAS - "We'll fight for a win, but in this game we won't be overconfident, this I can guarantee."

BRENO - "Land de Wood?"

SANCHEZ - "On rankings, could surprise. But I don't think this will happen. Both Candelaria And Marquez and Cafundéu should defeat them."

AUGUSTO - "If we want to qualify well, we have to beat them."

VARGAS - "Agree. We can't lose points against them."

BRENO - "Then we have Univerrrrrsitus Univerrrrrsity."

VARGAS - "Same case of Land de Wood."

NATÁLIA - "I agree. We need to defeat them as much as we need to defeat Land de Wood."

CASCAVEL - "The strength of Land de Wood and the University is practically the same, we should get similar results against them."

BRENO - "Then we rrrrrreach the thirrrrrd seed, Rrrrrennidan."

AUGUSTO - "Now things can turn difficult for our team. As favourites, we have a big responsibility in these games, the supporters want us to win. The pressure is over us to defeat Rennidan, but a win is far from guaranteed. They got the qualification for the last World Cup and even won a game there... but we have to get at least a win at home."

VARGAS - "Agree with Augusto César. Rennidan can be dangerous, and we have the pressure for a win. I agree that it is necessary to win at least our home game against them, or our qualification campaign can become difficult."

MICHELLE - "Well, the supporters will be surely anxious for these games."

BRENO - "And finally our biggest opponent in these qualifierrrrrs... Candelarrrrrria And Marrrrrrquez. Two exciting games expect us?"

NATÁLIA - "I hope so. Cafundéu should qualify for the World Cup easily, and the games against Candelaria And Marquez will be more to entertain the supporters than to decide the qualification, as both countries seem comfortable in this group."

MICHELLE - "Many of their players play here, so this will be interesting..."

AUGUSTO - "For example, two defenders of their National Team play with me in A.F.F.. They even participated in the game against Penders."

CASCAVEL - "Yes, Candelaria And Marquez has a lot of talented players, who are really loved by the Cafundelense fans. And their league is also very good, I am an agent of many players there."

BRENO - "I am surrrrrre this will be a verrrrry interrrrresting game for you, Javier, won't be?"

VARGAS - "Well, Sanchez seems to be very comfortable now... he took my job (laughs)."

SANCHEZ - "You got a better one, Júlio. Being the coach of the Cafundelense National Team is an excellent job."

VARGAS - "Yes, it's good to be back. What about you, enjoying being the coach of Clube Imperial?"

SANCHEZ - "I'm really happy to be the coach of such a big team, it's the biggest opportunity of my life. My job here is just at the beginning, and I hope to bring the team to many trophies."

BRENO - "And what about this grrrrrroup drrrrrraw, Javier? Interrrrrresting?"

SANCHEZ - "Absolutely. I will really enjoy to see Cafundéu and Candelaria And Marquez playing, I'm planning to attend at both games. Also, many players from my team and from América too will be involved, it's good to see them playing for their nation. As I enjoy both nations, I won't be too sad if Candelaria And Marquez loses."

BRENO - "Talking about this, do you see Cafundéu as favourrrrrites?"

VARGAS - "Against Candelaria And Marquez? It won't be so easy. Most people will consider us as favourites, but games between the first and second seeds don't really have a favourite team. Both countries will be looking for the victory, both have chances of winning. We can expect an enjoyable and disputed game."

AUGUSTO - "Yes, I am sure they are confident. They hope to defeat us."

SANCHEZ - "They can do it, the chances are nearly equal."

BRENO - "Any other comments about other teams or grrrrrroups."

MICHELLE - "Terreiro de Ogum seems to be in an easy group, they finally seem to have chances of qualifying."

NATÁLIA - "Although Milchama will really be a difficult opponent to beat."

VARGAS - "Well, they don't need to beat them."

CASCAVEL - "I am the agent of many players in different countries of this cup, as the young attacker Vorotaev from Myedvedeya and the midfielder Dylandy from Dancougar. I will be following them."

VARGAS - "Good point. We have many players from different National Teams currently playing in Cafundéu, and the supporters of those teams will surely be supporting them. Yafor two, for example, Dancougar, Newmanistan and even Candelaria And Marquez and Rennidan from our own group! Of course they'll support Cafundéu over them."

BRENO - "Valanorrrrra and Vephrrrrrall would have some supporrrrrterrrrrrs too if they werrrrre in the qualifying stage... this rrrrreminds me when Arrrrrrriddia and Squorrrrrrnshelous werrrrre the number two nations in the hearrrrrrts of the Cafundelenses!"

CASCAVEL - "We have coaches in other National Teams too. The former National Team player Renário in Demot, Toki Ioshido in Daehanjeiguk..."

SANCHEZ - "Top coaches in top teams, I must say."

MICHELLE - "Alfredo Neves left Jeru FC, now they finally can achieve something, as Alfredo isn't a good coach for National Teams, remember what he did with Cafundéu."

NATÁLIA - "But the most curious is..."

CASCAVEL - "...The Scout in Nethertopia. When I first heard about this, I thought why he decided to take this job. Then I became worried, thinking if he would leave his great work as scout for the CCFM."

VARGAS - "It seems that he'll do both things."

CASCAVEL - "Yes. We hope he has the time to dedicate himself for both Nethertopia and the CCFM."

SANCHEZ - "But, thinking about this. As a coach, he'll be able to follow some players more closely, this can be good for his scouting..."

CASCAVEL - "But he won't have so much freedom for travelling."

MICHELLE - "I think he can do a good job. He is a genius."

BRENO - "No doubt about this. He is a tactical genius, he can notice when a player is good or bad just at looking at him once. He could be the best coach of the worrrrrld if he wanted to, but he isn't too good at talking to people, and he prrrrreferrrrrs to worrrrrk on the backstages. The Scout is one of the most influential people in the CCFM, and a key piece for the success of our league."

SANCHEZ - "Most of the players he recommends are excellent."

VARGAS - "Yes, I really expect him to make a good job, both for Nethertopia and for the CCFM. I just hope he doesn't get involved in more confusions."

BRENO - "Yes, quality he has."

Suddenly, a man wearing just small shorts enters in the studio.

BRENO - Who arrrrre you?"

TROMBADA - "I'm Chicão Trombada, man, I've just fled from the Landau Institute, man, I want a job as a National Team coach, any country will do... otherwise (takes a gun and points to Breno) I'll do a mess here!"

BRENO - "Guarrrrrds!"

TROMBADA - "I'm used to Landau Institute's guards! I want to be a coach, to show the players how to play, the referees how to whistle. I invade the field and shoot them if they don't do it right. If they do, I can give some cachaça to them as a prize... I'd be a really excellent coach, someone hire me! I'd apply for Sorthern Northland's job, but I came late..."

The guards take the former Landau Institute patient from the room.

BRENO - "That's all. To the Worrrrrld Cup!"

Cafundéu's stadia (home games):

MD02 (Candelaria And Marquez): Obelisco Monumental, Lasft
MD04 (Rennidan): Estádio Rei Albieri Van Tocco, Cafundó do Juta
MD06 (Land de Wood): Maracatuzão, Dunboor
MD08 (Saturday Sport): Arena Multiuso Dra. Veiga, Astari
MD10 (Cassadaigua): Presídio, Carandirú City
MD12 (Colbourne): Estádio Nacional dos Cocos, Porto Lacruz
MD14 (Universitus University): Arena América, Abadia

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu's line-up for the next game: Júlio Sampa; Alex, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Zé Sho, Da Silva, Augusto César and Marossi; Moreira and Danilo Sampa.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

Referee: Michael Stew (Qazox).

Two pais-de-santo talking about Terreiro de Ogum's World Cup ambitions:

"Ooooohhh lelê o-lá-lá! Quando é que nosso time vai ganhar?"

"E eu sei lá? Só se nosso Orixá nos ajudar!"

"Ziriguidum zumbanba... Oxalá vamos classificar!"

"Só se um milagre na terra executar!"

Then they finally decide to talk in English:

"When we will finally reach the perfect balance that the Orixás want us to reach?"

"Maybe never. Only if our players finally understand what the Orixás asked them to do... to balance their faith with their football ability."

"They seem to trust too much in Iluminado..."

"Yes... they still have time. But it seems that the insane island is planning to take our position..."

"How do you know this?"

"An Orixá send me a message: that they have a mystical ball that will have the power to put them back to football."

"So let's work hard to avoid this."

"And this starts in group four."

"Our opponents?"

"Australiahwhat?"

"Don't know them."

"Okay... Miroxia?"

"I heard something about them but... I forgot."

"Magnus Valerius?"

"I remember their name... only this."

"Liventia."

"They seem to appear a lot in the newspapers lately."

"Quakmybush?"

"They are famous, but seem to not have any contact with other countries."

"Ad'ihan?"

"Famous National Team, difficult one to beat... participated in the last World Cup, but didn't go to the knockout stage..."

"Milchama?"

"First seeds... so they must be good."

"Well, the Orixás will have to help us."

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Victoria Concordia Crescit
by Rami Niblick in Adanac

"TOGETHERNESS will bring us victory." A message that was brought home in yesterday afternoon's match between Krytenia and Daehanjeiguk at the Memorial Stadium in Adanac. It showcased the unity of two nations determined to fight the onslaught of anarchic terrorism. It also showcased two teams performing well as effective units, and the victory went to Krytenia by two goals to one in an end to end encounter.

The game started positively for both teams, with chances created at either end, and a smattering of early saves for Jun-Ho Bong and Juan Garcia. On twelve minutes, the Han looked like breaking the deadlock, however Ji-Hun Jeong's piledriver smacked against the post and out to a sky blue shirt. Surprisingly, despite all the early chances, it was near the end of the first half that the deadlock was finally broken, as Casper Smith latched onto David Wolverton's cross perfectly to put the home side ahead. One-nil was how it stayed going into the break.

The second half saw more high-energy, positive football, with the Oriental Cup champions looking for an equaliser, and the Aces searching for that killer second. The fans would not have to wait long, as Yeong-Po Yi and Jeong worked the ball well to unlock the Krytenian defence six minutes into the second half, a move which culminated in Jeong playing a deft chip over Garcia to make the score one-one. Jeong almost added a second just two minutes later, heading the ball just over from a deflected Pil-Rip An cross.

It was not to be for the visitors, though, as Krytenia scored what proved to be the winner eleven minutes from time. Once again, it was Wolverton at the centre of play, working the ball in from the right before an audacious cross-field pass to Michael Aquino. The veteran left-winger then cut into the box, before laying the ball across the six-yard box for substitute Darren Scotland to net his second international goal.

All's well that ends well, and with handshakes and swapped shirts all round, an entertaining feast of football. Let's only hope that the Aces' next match, against Bazalonia in Aigburth, will prove the same.

Krytenia - 2
C Smith 41
Scotland 79

Daehanjeiguk - 1
Jeong 51

BazFM, Your source for everything Bazalonian, It's 6pm BST and it's now time for the news.

Welcome to BazFM News, I am Edgar Heath and here are today's BazFM News Headlines
Manhattan Prime - Dreygo in Trouble
World Cup Fever at Boiling Point
Constitutional Crisis - Is David Hawdon really our PM?

The region is in shock today as peaceful demonstrations against the illegitamite regime of Artimis Dreygo resulted in live ammunition being fired by loyal Dreygoist military forces. Police officers who first encountered the demonstrators had been ordered to fire upon the unarmed civilians participating in this peaceful protest but refused to do so and joined the protest against the regime.Dreygo has been under increasing political pressure to stand down from the position of President of Manhattan Prime as Andrew Cuthbert, the nations previous president who was believed to be dead was found alive by Lamonian forces. However in response to this news Artimis Dreygo has refused to stand down. It is believed Dreygo is stubbornly refusing to let go of power even though he has no longer any legitimate claim to the position. He is expected to face charges of treason and has also been accused of warcrimes. It doesn't look like Dreygo will relinquish his command over the nation and is believed to be held up in an unknown secure location. It is yet to be seen exactly what this man will do to keep power but if todays actions are any indication then it will be a long hall.

In other foreign news, the draw for the World Cup Qualification has been announced with Bazalonia siting in Group 3, their toughest Challenge is Bostopia as well as Jeru FC. And it seems a plague of nationalist pride has been sweeping the nation. Though with apparent unexpected circumstances for the health of the nation. "Sport is great for one's health, however this only applies to those who participate and not those following on the telly." Within the days after the announcement local sporting venues have all but shut down with fans of sport watching the current AOCAF action, or trying to scrape up any last information they had. Coupled this with the increase in recent days of sports video games it seems that Bazalonians are more interested in simulating a sport experience through media than they are in the real thing. What does this mean for the nations sporting profile, will we soon have too many watchers and not enough do-ers or will interest in these media result in more people playing sport in the long run? Only time will tell.

Allegations in Parliment Question time today raised doubt over David Hawdon's position as Prime Minister, and not in the usual way. The Conservative Alliance today alleged that Hawdon was not infact by law a natural-born Bazalonian, a requirement according to convention. According to the Birth certificate tabled by the Conservative Alliance using Parlimentary privilige Mr. Hawdon was not born in Bazalonia but was legally born in The Lowland Clans, which as a nation no longer exists. Thereby making him a persona non-grata in the eyes of the Bazalonian law. However as all this speculation rests on convention which within Bazalonia's long political history has yet to encounter such a situation, it is yet unclear how this convention applies to the current situation. Even though it is clear that David was indeed a Bazalonian citizen from birth, the High Court of Bazalonia will hear this matter in a couple of months, the date has yet to be officially set.

And it's now time for Sport with Timothy Eades

Thank you Edgar, In Regional Sport the Bazacubs are holding well against the other teams of group 1, holding the top spot with only 1 out of 2 byes under their wings are still looking favourites to top their group with the win over Pacitalia, most of the other nations don't look like they have much of a chance and it looks like a second leg clean sweep. Just how the Bazalopes will progress in the knockouts (which are now assured for the team) is unsure but the 2nd place in the last AOCAF is looking to be turned into first for this tournament.

As for the upcoming tournament the team is expected to enter the finals easily though it's anyone's guess with the unpredictability of the World cup what will happen. Valanora are the easy favourites to win but the title is still up for grabs and recent support for the Bazalonian Soccer Team can only boost the teams morale. It's now back to Edgar with the weather.

Thank you Timothy, going through state Victorland will see cool summer sea breezes, tops in the low 30 celcius and a low of 18 at night.

Who would know that this radio broadcast would be the lynch pin for massive change in Bazalonia. I am Jonathan Bennet, and this is my story.

In a legal office in Fauxhan, a Chief Justice of the High Court of Bazalonia, Johnathan Bennet sat as his desk. Another man is sitting next to him going over a diary together.

Yep, that's me and I'm the one who will have to hear the case about the Allegations made by the Conservative Alliance that David Hawdon isn't a suitable Prime Minister. The guy sitting beside me is my court clerk and we're going over dates to finalise the initial hearing for the case.

"What about the 12th?"

"of October?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmm, Alright. That's as best it's going to be. Oh and also according to the law, David Hawdon is going to have to stand down as PM while it is under judicial review."

"Yes, I've just sent the letter off before I came in."

"Good."

There we have it the Prime Minister is going to have to stand down while the ludicrous accusations of the Conservative Aliiance are being investigated. Who knew that this would be the start of a chaotic year for the nation.

OOC: The Script for the BazFM News Broadcast was going to be the first of my rejuvaneted pdcast but I just couldn't speak properly.

West Zirconia's World Cup challenge is ready to begin, with the match against United Island Empires. Our correspondent Mike Dixon caught up with coach Roy Hazell and captain Ben Phillips at the team hotel in Mort Park.

MD: Another campaign about to begin - how are you both feeling at present?

BP: Excited - ready and raring to go, and hopefully we'll have a good game tomorrow.

RH: Well, I'm confident about the game, and if we start well - and I know we can - who knows how far we can progress?

MD: Once again, the qualifying stages will be taking place all over West Zirconia. Ben, which would you say is your favourite ground?

BP: Well, I always liked playing at Manchester Street, obviously, with that being my home ground.

MD: But of course, you no longer play for Moorcroft City.

BP: No - when they got relegated, it was felt that we...

MD: ...you and Martin Forster?

BP: That's right. We felt we ought to be playing in the First Division, so we joined Redwood Forest, who had just come up.

MD: So do you still enjoy playing there?

BP: Of course - though I like the atmosphere at the STORMGroup as well.

MD: Just as well two of our fixtures are there, then?

BP: Indeed.

MD: Roy, I'm sure you have no preference - after all, one dugout must look the same as another?

RH: True, though I second what Ben said about the atmosphere at Mort Park.

MD: If I may turn to the other teams in the draw - you play United Island Empires tomorrow, then Tynelia, Kelssek, Bushdome, Thoughts of Randomness, Prux and Yafor 2. Your thoughts on your opponents?

RH: On paper Tynelia and Kelssek will be the ones to watch. Yafor 2 and Prux could well be there as well. To be truthful, most people will write off our chances, but all we need is a couple of freak results and we'll be there in the mix.

MD: Ben, are you looking forward to any of these in particular?

BP: Well, I'm intrigued to see what Prux sends to face us. Other than that, all we can do is play to the best of our ability whoever we're playing. After all, on the day any eleven men can beat any other eleven men.

MD: I'm sure you were just relieved that you couldn't be drawn against Land de Wood?

BP: Why do you always have to bring them into it? What's past is past - if we qualify and face them, then you can talk about them. Until then, you can just shut up about them.

MD: I only wanted a straight answer, not a bottle thrown at me.

BP: Serves you right for asking stupid questions. Can we move on now?

MD: If you insist. Roy, if I may turn to the squad selection, it appears you have named a virtually unchanged squad. I would have thought you would have needed to make changes to improve on the team's poor showing in the last two competitions.

RH: Well, you would have thought that, would you? Perhaps that's why I've got the job and you haven't.

MD: Er...indeed. The big surprise in the selection must be Alun Lydiate. What makes you think he's good enough for the national team?

RH: Try the fact he scored 29 goals for Walton last season.

MD: In the Second Division.

RH: True, but there are some strong teams in the Second Divison, like....er....

BP: Moorcroft City?

RH: No, last season, yer fool.

BP: Sorry. St. Martin Athletic?

RH: Yes, them, and...er...

BP: Currie?

RH: And them. You get my drift, anyway, don't you?

MD: Well, yes, but I'm not totally convinced.

RH: I'm not asking you to be convinced. I've seen enough in the lad to know he'll be a useful addition to the squad.

MD: Well, I can only hope you're right. Anyway, we must leave it there. All that remains is to wish the West Zirconian team the best of luck in the forthcoming qualifiers. Thank you, Roy Hazell and Ben Phillips.

RH: Right, is that it - can we go now?

MD: Of course. [under his breath] The sooner the better.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Political Football
by Rami Niblick in Aigburth

WHILST the nation of Bazalonia entered a period of political uncertainty yesterday, it's footballers were looking to make certain of one thing; that they were prepared for the upcoming test of World Cup qualification - something the Krytenians were also keen on, after withdrawing from the previous competition. The location, to, was significant - the city of Aigburth holding its first international since its most famous daughter, Dominique Starblayde, sold the nation down the river for a handful of beans and a chunky ring. The game certainly lived up to its billing, being a lively encounter decided by the odd goal in five.

It was the home side who scored the first of those goals, a goal that came just ten minutes into the match. Robert Goodrem made a rare error; his lateral pass falling to the feet of Kevin Breitenreiter, who duly slotted the ball past a desperately flailing Liesel McDonald and into the Bazalonian net. McDonald was called into action again on twenty-three minutes, making a gymnastic double save during a Krytenian set-piece. First, she dived left to keep out Michelle Graise's directed header, then scrambled right to parry away Jim Austin's follow up shot. This proved to be a wake-up call for the Bazalopes, who then spent most of the next twenty minutes camped inside the Krytenian half.

It was with a sense of inevitability, then, in which Bazalonia were to bag the equaliser. The goal itself came from a twenty-yard shot from Hector Ainsley coming after David Jones and Justin Cole both had shots blocked. The goal galvanised the away team, and Cole added a second in first half stoppage time, nodding home from a corner after Juan Garcia and Julian Wooliscroft collided with each other trying to collect the ball.

Two-one Bazalonia, then, at half time, but with both teams playing fast and attacking football, anything could happen in the second set of forty-five minutes - and, as this is a Krytenia game, it usually does. In this case, it was probably the most comical own goal you will ever have the chance to see. Breitenreiter's shot was going comfortably wide until it clipped the knee of Zhan Xiu, who couldn't quite react quick enough to move out of the way. McDonald managed to push the shot onto the inside of the post; however it pinged back into play behind her, and clipped her leg, trickling over the line. Desperate bad luck for the Bazalopes, but a goal nonetheless.

It was not to be the last odd moment of the game, however. On seventy-six minutes, Garcia had a rush of blood to the studs, rushing out of his box to intercept a long ball and succeeding only to bring down David Jones. The referee, a Septentrionian who had kept pace with the game well, had no choice but to eject Garcia from the game - Casper Smith immediately being substituted to allow sub 'keeper Leon Uriu to gain an unexpected second cap. His first job was to keep out the resulting free kick, and he did just that with an acrobatic save; the ball came back out into play, however, and Jones gained retribution by smashing the ball into the unguarded net. Three-two was how the game ended, and the Aces will be hoping that the defeat will not set a precedent as they go into a tricky first qualifying match against Demot.

Krytenia - 2
Breitenreiter 10
McDonald (og) 54

Bazalonia - 3
Ainsley 36
Cole 45+2
Jones 78

The RP-inin crisis over, and Kura-Pelland are sensationally rebuilding their team with a new generation of young talent.

19-year-old Harry Oughton is expected to play behind a front two of Fiero, 26 and very much the standout player in this side, and potentially Jack Richmond, a 17-year-old who is reminding many of Fiero with his record for AFC Neegera. The other alternative is Keith Wilder, who's only 21 himself. In goal, Stephen Hill's replacement is Paul Hodgson, who's young enough to be Hill's son at just 20, while stupidly-named but highly dangerous left-back Massimo Iampietro is in the starting lineup at the same age. The centre-backs, Bo Phelps and Tommy Yuram-Wilson, look like aging veterans in comparison, and they're not even in their thirties yet.

Why such root-and-branch reform of what looked like a winning side? Well, several long-term injuries haven't helped, although Liam Marling's recovering from his cruciate ligament injury he sustained in training some time ago now (his at-least-temporary replacement down the left is Gilles Rothen - a 22-year-old speed demon). But the new manager, Oscar Goldworth - a shock choice from Sorbridge Soccer Storm - is not one to stick to tradition. He's promising to shake up the national team and believes they can win the World Cup. 'It's about time we saw ourselves as a giant footballing nation, because we are,' he has said in an interview.

Bold words. Can they be justified? The qualifying is the first step...

MD1 scores are posted. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=14138569#post14138569)

KGB Humbled in First Qualifier
Myedvedeya 1-3 Lovisa

MD1: Myedvedeya 1-3 Lovisa
MD2: Myedvedeya VS Alversia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD3: Myedvedeya @ Newmanistan
MD4: Myedvedeya VS Dancougar (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD5: Myedvedeya @ The Bostopian Empire
MD6: Myedvedeya VS Starblaydia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD7: Myedvedeya VS Glaycia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD8: Myedvedeya VS Lovisa (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD9: Myedvedeya @ Alversia
MD10: Myedvedeya VS Newmanistan (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD11: Myedvedeya @ Dancougar
MD12: Myedvedeya VS The Bostopian Empire (Pyotroveskovlad Imperial Dome)
MD13: Myedvedeya @ Starblaydia
MD14: Myedvedeya @ Glaciya


The Lovisans, ranked 29th in the world, defeated the visiting Myedvedeyans today, by the score of 3-1. The Myedvedeyans put up a decent fight, but, in the end, the skilled Lovisan side was too much for the Kamchatka Grizzly Bears to handle, especially away from home.

The first half opened rather slowly, with neither side making any decisive attacks until around the Twentieth minute. In the Twenty-Second, Lovisa scored their first, a beautiful header by Georg Lunz off a corner kick. This did not defeat the Myedvedeyans, however, and the Bears set up ready to fight. Fight they did, nearly placing one into the net in the Twenty-Seventh, as Vorotaev's rocket from thirty yards was parried by the Lovisan keeper. Myedvedeya was soon on the back foot, however, as Lovisa charged towards the goal once again. In the Thirty-Fourth, Lovisa found their second, with Hakon Indgaard beating Boris Bykovsky in a one-on-one by placing the ball in the upper-right corner. The half ended with the score at 2-0.

In the second, the Myedvedeyans came on determined to show that they could put up a fight against a team as strong as Lovisa. In the Fifty-First, Vorotaev drew the KGB closer, with a gorgeous strike into the upper left. The Lovisans were stunned for a minute, but came back strong. In the Sixty-Fourth, they nearly got another, as Bykovsky took to the sky to keep the score reasonable. In the Seventy-Seventh, however, Lovisa sealed their victory, after being awarded a penalty for Ivan Mizin's violent tackle. Lunz finished beautifully, and the match ended with a final score of 3-1.

Myedvedeya-1
Vorotaev '51

Lovisa-3
Lunz '22, '77(pen)
Indgaard '34

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: @ Krytenia 1-2 (@ Adanac)
MD1: vs (46) MSS 3-0 (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Jinhwangdo - 60,000)
MD2: @ (118) Dariusville
MD3: vs (159) Vlaskin (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD4: @ (19) Demot
MD5: vs (31) Krytenia (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju - 80,000)
MD6: @ (66) Greal
MD7: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MQ1: vs Taeshan (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium, Daebo - 50,000)
MD8: @ (46) MSS
MD9: vs (118) Dariusville (@ Oromokjei Football Stadium, Oromokjei - 25,000)
MD10: @ (159) Vlaskin
MD11: vs (19) Demot (@ Waella Football Stadium, Hanseong - 43,000)
MD12: @ (31) Krytenia
MD13: vs (66) Greal (@ Munhwa Football Stadium 65,000)
MD14: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant


It was a Sunday morning, and while Seunghwa was busily washing the cabbage that she had just bought from Mu (the cabbage was to be subsequently pickled into kimchi), Son darted into the pub unexpectedly. She turned around, inclined to start her staring routine, but manners kept her at her washing. As a compromise to herself, she would only look back occassionally, as if to expect Son to need anything in the time intervening. Instead, he was fixed to the TV, and only after a few minutes did he show any animation.

While she busily chopping the ends off the cabbage, Son suddenly turned into an enraged youth. To say the least, he started cursing. Min, by this time, had no choice but to stare at Son - not in amourous adoration, but in awed horror. Hansu came from the kitchen, stained in the blood of some chicken that he had just killed. "What is going on in here?"

Son looked past the TV and explained his displeasure: "The %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ ref is blind! That's a foul! Jeong Jihun got SLANIed by that Krytie bastard, and the ref has the nerve to give them the free kick! SLANI bastard, he should be ejected from the match."

Hansu blinked oddly as Son turned his attention back to the TV. He turned to Seunghwa. "I presume that he's talking about football? But I haven't a clue what he just said."

"Honestly, abba - I don't think you'd want to know," she replied. The truth was - she didn't understand Son either, but if any of the two of them knew better, she would have been ages beyond Hansu's comprehension. Hansu shuddered in his slippers as he held the chicken's neck firmly. "I think you should watch him."

"Abpa?"

"We can get the cabbage ready later. Kimchi is a patient thing, but Son - he might do something reckless. I don't even want to remember what happened the last time." The 'last time' would be Son's uncontrolled tirade through the pub following the 3-0 loss to Valanora in the World Cup. That night, he went through the pub, destroyed 23 kegs of beer, 11 bottles, 35 mugs, a portion of the counter, and the door as he left; indeed, Min Hansu wanted to expel Son forever, but knowing the child was as helpful as he was disruptive, he chose not to impose any serious penalty other than the repair of his damages. He apparently was a unruly child when the Han were losing and he couldn't even tolerate the thought of losing even figuratively. Ah yes - if there was a reason why Seunghwa would not have liked Iljun's company, it would be his football fanaticism. "Just watch him and the match. If it turns sour, at least stop him from getting too incensed."

Min nodded, obediently to an extent. On the one hand, she was mindful of her father's request to keep Iljun calm. On the other, she was enthusiastic about an opportunity to get to know Iljun better. Perhaps it would be the opportunity to open the doors and see if he shared any feelings to her. She took a seat next to Son. He only glanced at her slightly before returning his glare back to the TV.

"I didn't know you liked football," he said.

"Well," Seunghwa said, hoping to avoid implying her total apathy, "I don't know normally get to watch it. But my father wants to make sure that you're okay. He said that I could watch with you."

"That's good," Son said smiling noticeably. "Whenever the Han play, they should have a holiday so everyone can watch them."

"Yeah," Min replied, uncertain as to what proportion she was affirming her blind support. She let it stay like that. Amazingly, it didn't take much for Son to start talking to her, and simply by the way he talked, it was evident that he knew a lot about football.

"I honestly don't a lot about football. I don't watch it often." The truth - she had never watched football before that time. Son wasn't deterred. "It's pretty easy. You see, you take the ball, but you can only touch it with your feet, or your legs, or your chest, or your head, or virtually any part of youur body except your hands or arms. So I guess you can't use your hands or arms - that's a simpler way of saying it. Anyway, you have a field that's got certain dimensions - 110 some odd meters long and 70 meters wide. The objective is to get the ball into the other guys' net..."

"Like that?" Min noted oddly. Son, having taken his face off the TV, turned back just in time to see a replay of Krytenia getting the first goal of the match. He stood up in furious rage. "%$#^!" Hansu came out of the kitchen in a jiffy, but seeing that Son wasn't attacking anything, he returned. Min was the most visibly shaken by Son's reaction. "Offsides, you %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ REF! Offsides! This ref can't see anything straight!"

"I don't know," Min replied.

"That shouldn't have counted," Son then said, sitting down again.

"Why not?"

The response almost put Son in such a fury that he almost reached back to slap her, but some element of "self-control" and stopped him from getting to feisty. He tried to explain as controllably as he could, especially as the half-time interval gave him plenty of time to explain many of football's dear intricacies. They stopped only once to let Son go to the bathroom, during which Min got a bottle of plum wine ("Perfect wine for conversation" so the label read). The second match just started as Son returned to the table and was almost fixed upon the TV.

"So why are the two teams trying to get the ball into the other's net?"

"Because it's a test of skill. You try to get the most goals - balls in a net - as you can in 90 minutes. It's pretty hard, because you've got some freak staring at you in the face, trying to stop you while you're staring back and you're trying to stop him. It's a civilized form of combat, with simple rules for simple times. Wouldn't it be great if all of our battles were won on the pitch? no more blood, no more atrocity..."

"What about refs?" Min noted, wondering what his particular aversion to refs was.

"Ah, some things will never change," Son said, conceding a point. But he didn't explain his aversion at all.

"So when is a goal a good one?"

"What do you mean?"

"Some people wearing red just scored a goal," Min said, pointing at the TV. Son turned around just in time again to watch the replay. Min noticed that the TV turned visibly brighter and the announcer was probably jumping up and down frantically - Son did too. He was ecstatic, perhaps the most ecstatic that she had really noticed in recent time. Of course, she rarely paid attention to what Son did, more that she did recall staring at him awkwardly several times. What she also did notice was that they had been chatting for several minutes (almost a half-hour by that time), and so far, she hadn't a feeling of ants in her tummy. It was a joyous feeling - perhaps her love... or adoration for Son was justified?

"That was a beautiful goal!"

"What was different about that goal?" she wondered.

"Naturally - we scored it." Who was we? The following 30 minutes was a discussion about the Han football and about how it was the next best thing in the world. Son seemed pretty defensive about Han football, especially when it came to the Imperial Team. Apparently, he was also a Hangyeong FC fan and ticket holder; whatever that meant, it translated into his extolling tales of the Hangyeong superpower team, along with his trash talk about Shilla and Sanghae. "But don't worry - we'll win the league and the Emperor's Cup this year."

I should remark what happened after the 71st minute, but as it was a Krytie goal (they eventually won the match off that), I should suspect that it would not have been too hard to imagine that Son stormed off into the street visibly distressed at that precise moment. His mouth was certainly filled with trash and at times, it seemed that the streets were cleaner set than his mouth. Seunghwa watched in adoring disgust as Son left, while Hansu came from the kitchen with bread crumbs on his fingers - fried chicken on the menu for dinner, apparently.

"What just happened?" Hansu asked.

"They scored?" Seunghwa replied, uncertain what was so bad about it.

"Who's 'they'?"

Seunghwa hardly had any opportunity to answer him, as at that moment, two gentlemen came into the pub. They were apparently from a different part of the Empire, perhaps visiting the capital for some reason. Nonetheless, they appeared lost.

"Pak, my dear man. I insist that we are lost."

"Indubitably, sir."

"Can I help you?" Hansu asked, sensing trouble with his new patrons.

"Indeed! I am Baek Geumho, prefect of Jangni town in Gwangdong Province. I've been summoned to the Capital for a meeting concerning the approrpriation of funds to establish a new road in the village, but I seem to have lost my way. Pak Minsei - my butler and my trusted confidant - can attest that we are only visitors, and we only need directions."

"I'm not sure where you're trying to go."

"Good sir," Baek said, "I'm not sure either. But I was hoping that you would have a phone that I could use, as I left my phone in the luggage, which I had had sent to my place of residence ahead of time. I hadn't anticipated needing to use the phone at all."

"Sir, might I advice that we exercise caution?" Pak said unexpectedly. "The place is exciting my nose."

"Indeed," Baek replied, wondering what he meant by that. Min was also confused, but turning to the matter at hand, he pointed back to the kitchen, saying, "I have a phone in the kitchen..." Without further inquiry, Baek made his way into the kitchen, whereupon he fainted at the door. Pak nodded. "I did warn the good Master," Pak said - the omens only now apparent. He went to the kitchen to drag Baek back out to the dining area. Once he had settled his master against the table, with Min Seunghwa helping him from falling on the floor, Pak went into the kitchen and made the telephone, with a thick layer of cloth guarding his nose. He returned after a brief moment, with a brief message, "Sir - I notice that your phone line has been disconnected."

"What?" Min said, surprised. "Well, I don't use my phone that often. Mostly, we talk. But the phone should work." He returned to the kitchen, noticing the same problem. Apparently, the phone was disconnected. Min didn't seem too concerned about it. "Well, they may be working on the lines," he remarked. "Is he going to be alright?"

"Master will be fine," Pak replied. "Although I must complement that your kitchen abode is masterfully equipped with a wide array of aromas that I myself found it difficult to stay standing. You are a fine cook, if I dare admit myself."

"Thank you," Min replied, uncertain as to whether it was a compliment or an insult. Taking the better of his judgment, he chose wisely. In the meantime, Pak returned to the car that was seated outside, whereupon Baek woke up. "Oh my!" he exclaimed. "I fear that I must have dozed off, my man! Pak? Where am I?"

"You're in our house," Seunghwa said.

"Oh dear? Did we lose our way again?" Baek replied.

"What do you mean?" Hansu asked. Like Seunghwa, he was scratching his head, pondering what he meant.

"Oh, we've had this horrible journey. I'm supposed to be petitioning the Imperial Government for finances to allow the construction of a road in my town, but I'm such a horrible person at asking for money, so I have to come to the Capital..."

"You're in the Capital," Hansu interjected, wondering if his guest was amnesiac.

"Oh really? Since when?"

"Since you walked into my kitchen."

"Wait, what?" Apparently, a special process by which I have absolutely no capacity to understand or explain was clicking Baek's mind. At one time, he was completely oblivious to what happened in the past 10 minutes; at another, he suddenly became completely cognizant. But against, how so remains a mystery - and doubtlessly, his hosts found it extremely confounding. "Oh my! I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you. I guess I must have hit my head or something. Did I get to the telephone alright?"

"You fainted before you entered my kitchen."

"Fainted? Ah, yes... I remember. Oh my, the smell! What was that?"

At that moment, Pak returned just in time to give a proper and full explanation - "That would be the fermentation of a drink, the cooking of a poultry, the steaming of rice, the scraps of food rotting, and all other scents belonging to a country kitchen combined at one moment, sir."

"Ah, dear Pak! You're the man to talk to! Did I mention that he's a genius at all sorts of matters?"

Min shook his head. "But if he's a genius, how did you get lost?"

"It's entirely my fault, really," Baek said. He sat up on the chair - as if nothing else had happened - and began to explain. "Apparently, some idiot mistranscribed the directions to get to the Capital Square - Cheonanmun, where I am supposed to have a meeting. At some intersection, I recall that the directions explicitly said that a right, then a left was necessary. When we came to the intersection, I thus gave my man the directions. He was driving. He turned to me slightly, replying - 'Sir! If we turn right, we shall be going the wrong direction. A left is due, sir!' I insisted that we follow the directions absolutely. Because we've bad troubles with the directions. Actually, I've had bad troubles with directions. But as I insisted, Pak turned right according to my directions. And some 2 hours later, we turned into your humble home with is also apparently a pub of some sort. Isn't that splendid? We should stop for a drink before we leave!"

"On that note, sir, we won't be leaving for a while."

"What's that, then?" Baek asked Pak.

"I've had the pleasure of using the car radio to exact our time for the meeting. It seems that the Budget Appropriations Meeting is not set for a fortnight, sir."

"A fortnight!" Baek said, reviling the idea absolutely. Seunghwa took the opportunity to return to the kitchen, leaving Hansu alone with the guests. "Must we wait a whole two weeks in the Capital?"

"We could return home, sir."

"But then we'd forfeit our rent!"

"Indeed, sir."

"So we couldn't leave and forfeit our rent."

"Heavens no, sir."

"Pak... we must venture to stay for two weeks then."

"Shall we head to the hotel then, sir? I'm certain that they will permit an extension of our stay, sir."

"Actually, you should go. I think I'll pass my time here, where I'll fill myself with some good booze."

"Indeed, sir. I shall be bad as soon as possible."

"Don't bother. I'll find my way back. What is the name of our hotel?

"The Regency Hotel - two blocks from the Imperial Square, sir. I presume that you'll find your means to the hotel?"

"True, true! Take your time, Pak! I don't wish you to be stressed out about this business."

"I won't, sir. Good day, sir."

Min was the passive visitor of the most intellectually and sensibly detached conversation in his entire life. Son's exhortations were at least passionate and irate; the two gentlemen had a speech that was as dull as a spoon trying to cut out a piece of meat - hoarse and painful. Nonetheless, Min didn't wait long to satisfy his patron's request.

"Ah, at least this adventure will not have been in vain," Baek conceded as he drank the first mug.

"...scoring two goals on the powerplay late in the third period giving Neorvins the win. Now to football and 18-year old Thomas Brodif had a spectacular international debut, scoring two goals as Kelssek defeated Yafor 2 4-0 in the opening game of World Cup qualifying."

"And now here's Arsenault with it, he's a wily one and trying to get into the penalty box is Brodif.... GOAL!! What a strike from the edge of the penalty

----INTERMISSION FOR HAIKU----

A four-nil victory
Is the sweetest thing that could
Be expected now

And now that it has
Actually happened, there is
No need to get drunk

That is because it
Is not a bad thing, you dumb
Idiotic fool

---------------------------------

box! On his international debut at the age of 18, Thomas Brodif scores for Kelssek!"

"Anderson takes the corner... punched away by the goalkeeper and Sinclair beats the defender to the ball... that shot doesn't make it through but the defence having trouble clearing- BRODIF STEALS THE BALL AND SCORES!!! The goalkeeper was stranded and you just know this kid has great things ahead! We're going to remember this day as the day Thomas Brodif announced himself to the world..."

"The other two goals were scored by Ian Sinclair and Darach Salthill in a rousing performance by Kelssek's football team..."

A naked Mary Sallad and clothed Dazza Dallas

Mary: Hi, I'm Mary Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem! I'm with Acting President of the Jeruselem FA and the owner of Naked News Jeruselem.
Dazza: Hi everyone.
Mary: What's the news on the President of the Jeruselem FA?
Dazza: He's out of hospital but not at work.

Mary: Will he be OK?
Dazza: He's lost a bit of some weight and won't be at work. Being the President of Jeruselem is not for sick people.
Mary: So you'll be around for a while.
Dazza: Well, I've got nothing else to do other play with the grandkids including yours.

Mary: If people don't know, I'm Dazza's biological sister.
Dazza: Can we swap bodies, I feel 70 ...
Mary: You are 70.
Dazza: I know.

Mary: Let's talk football! World Cup 43, three Jeruselem teams were in play.
Dazza: Yes, Southern Northland coached by our own Merginn Moffat had the great day.
Mary: SN beat the Monks from The Archregimancy, THREE TWO.
Dazza: Yeah, that was a shock.

Mary: You think this means SN is a contender to win the cup?
Dazza: It's match day 1, it means nothing so early.
Mary: Now, Jeru FC lost to Bostopia. Bostopia won TWO NIL.
Dazza: A brave effort by Ryan Greenly's team, but I wasn't expecting our army team win that one.

Mary: Group 9! Jeruselem crashed to Kenavt away from home?
Dazza: Yes, as Jeruselem FA president ... it's disappointing losing. It wasn't a huge loss though.
Mary: Kenavt winning 2-1, maybe this isn't our cup!
Dazza: Losing 0-1 to Taeshan and drawing with Jeru FC 2 all. It's not a good start.

Mary: We always seem to start a bit slow.
Dazza: I don't know why but Jeruselem are slow starters but when it comes to finishing well, that's our forte.
Mary: Your critique of the game?
Dazza: I think the team aren't quite playing as a team. It's been 4 years since the last cup so you know we have to get the team just being used to this again.

Mary: Secristan downed Deceased Writers Guild ONE NIL. Kura-Pelland showed their stuff beating them nut throwing Septentrionians 3-1. KaMaRi hammered Chutnusak FOUR NIL.
Dazza: As expected Mary, but I expected the Septentrionians to play better.
Mary: We play Deceased Writers Guild next at home.
Dazza: We should win this one. Secristan beat them, I think something like 4 NIL.

Mary: What you think of Kate Sallad's style?
Dazza: Your kid, well ... on current results, you'd think there's an issue but knowing how things pan out, the truth will be after match day 7.
Mary: No panic?
Dazza: I've been around long enough. Even Monks losing, no panic for them because 1 game doesn't dictate the other 13.

Mary: That's if from us, back to Jo Jo for business news.
Dazza: It's lunchtime sis.
Mary: Yes, all this talking makes one hungry.
Dazza: Don't spill coffee on yourself like yesterday.

OOC

Group 3
Bostopia 2-0 Jeru FC

Group 7
Sorthern Northland 3-2 The Archregimancy

Group 9
Kenavt 2-1 Jeruselem
Deceased Writers Guild 0-1 Secristan
Kura-Pelland 3-1 Septentrionia
KaMaRi 4-0 Chutnusak

We'd like to take this moment to recognize our corporate sponsor - Samseong Electronics - for making this broadcast possible.

Now for the winners!

Most points earned (Friendlies): Taeshan (+11.47)

Most ranks earned (Friendlies): N/A

Congratulations to Taeshan! You'll be receiving a giant salami sandwich the next time you come to the Han Empire! For free (the sandwich, that is; you'll have to pay to come to the Han Empire)!

Pre-Qualifier Friendly Ranks (after the matches):

1 916.87 Valanora
2 877.34 Capitalizt SLANI
3 875.45 Bostopia
4 873.26 The Archregimancy
5 863.36 Milchama
6 855.82 Starblaydia
7 849.05 Cafundéu
8 848.60 Bazalonia
9 847.18 Qazox
10 845.66 Tynelia
11 844.15 Ad’ihan
12 841.37 Daehanjeiguk
13 840.26 Wentland
14 840.12 Vephrall
15 840.08 Demot
16 839.87 Jeruselem
17 837.97 Kura-Pelland
18 834.62 Candelaria And Marquez
19 833.27 The Holy Empire
20 832.30 Yafor 2
21 827.67 Jasīʼyūn
22 823.26 Dancougar
23 804.89 Sorthern Northland
24 801.08 Az-cz
25 797.05 Septentrionia
26 794.99 Lovisa
27 790.49 Krytenia
28 787.72 Quakmybush
29 784.99 Kelssek
30 781.43 Jeru FC
31 778.50 Yafalonia and Bazor 2
32 777.84 Taeshan
33 777.67 Rennidan
34 768.75 Prux
35 767.08 Blouman Empire
36 757.86 Newmanistan
37 728.75 KaMaRi
38 723.70 Magna Sancta Sedes
39 722.47 Green wombat
40 715.80 Terreiro de Ogum
41 713.28 The Macabees
42 693.04 Universitus University
43 688.94 Land de Wood
44 684.47 Kosovoe
45 679.61 Kenavt
46 671.99 West Zirconia
47 654.06 Glaycia
48 649.61 Arroza
49 648.62 An Blascaod Mor
50 624.24 Cokenia
51 616.83 Greal
52 607.11 Liventia
53 597.90 Magnus Valerius
54 564.99 Myedvedeya
55 546.04 Nethertopia
56 540.98 Secristan
57 540.29 The Indonesian States
58 540.29 Urna Eletrônica
59 533.28 Cassadaigua
60 533.28 Thoughts of Randomness
61 520.49 Linpada
62 516.06 The Islands of Qutar
63 484.83 Dariusville
64 466.82 Alversia
65 465.03 Bushdome
66 465.03 Kjomasasopia
67 465.03 The Daleks 2
68 450.53 Docky
69 433.80 Tortuga y Hispaniola
70 433.80 Valetaland
71 414.00 Colbourne
72 414.00 Deceased Writers Guild
73 345.75 Montgisard
74 314.52 Vlaskin
75 100.00 Australiah
75 100.00 Chutnusak
75 100.00 Miroxia
75 100.00 Onimar
75 100.00 Panuul
75 100.00 Saturday Sport
75 100.00 Seventy Ninth Entrant
75 100.00 Swilatia
75 100.00 The Bostopian Empire
75 100.00 United Island Empires
75 100.00 Viltek

For MD1:

Most points earned (MD1): Kelssek (+19.53)

Most ranks earned (MD1): Kura-Pelland (+5)

Congratulations to the two winners! You'll be receiving a free Samseong foam hand that says "#1" on it. The respective FAs will should expect the reward in their mailboxes soon.

And your updated MD1 ranks:

1 916.87 0 Valanora
2 888.14 1 Bostopia
3 879.50 2 Milchama
4 866.32 -2 Capitalizt SLANI
5 866.19 1 Starblaydia
6 861.93 -2 The Archregimancy
7 861.30 1 Bazalonia
8 858.62 -1 Cafundéu
9 856.50 1 Tynelia
10 855.15 2 Daehanjeiguk
11 854.85 -2 Qazox
12 851.35 5 Kura-Pelland
13 851.28 0 Wentland
14 848.13 4 Candelaria And Marquez
15 840.12 -1 Vephrall
16 840.10 3 The Holy Empire
17 838.91 -2 Demot
18 837.13 4 Dancougar
19 833.15 2 Jasīʼyūn
20 828.01 -9 Ad’ihan
21 827.87 -5 Jeruselem
22 816.22 1 Sorthern Northland
23 812.77 -3 Yafor 2
24 810.06 0 Az-cz
25 806.32 1 Lovisa
26 804.51 3 Kelssek
27 800.66 1 Quakmybush
28 793.15 4 Taeshan
29 791.67 -2 Krytenia
30 784.54 3 Rennidan
31 783.68 -6 Septentrionia
32 779.44 2 Prux
33 768.74 -3 Jeru FC
34 763.20 -3 Yafalonia and Bazor 2
35 758.10 0 Blouman Empire
36 753.37 0 Newmanistan
37 738.44 0 KaMaRi
38 730.97 1 Green wombat
39 724.11 1 Terreiro de Ogum
40 709.92 -2 Magna Sancta Sedes
41 700.68 2 Land de Wood
42 694.26 -1 The Macabees
43 691.62 2 Kenavt
44 682.24 0 Kosovoe
45 680.35 1 West Zirconia
46 679.53 -4 Universitus University
47 668.63 1 Arroza
48 640.20 -1 Glaycia
49 640.12 0 An Blascaod Mor
50 627.01 1 Greal
51 616.57 -1 Cokenia
52 602.74 0 Liventia
53 584.97 0 Magnus Valerius
54 553.66 0 Myedvedeya
55 548.83 2 Urna Eletrônica
56 548.77 0 Secristan
57 533.97 -2 Nethertopia
58 524.64 3 The Islands of Qutar
59 522.73 1 Linpada
60 522.44 -1 Thoughts of Randomness
61 521.54 -3 Cassadaigua
62 493.47 0 Dariusville
63 456.46 0 Alversia
64 454.33 0 Bushdome
65 452.34 0 Kjomasasopia
66 446.35 0 Docky
67 445.87 1 Valetaland
68 426.97 -1 Tortuga y Hispaniola
69 407.13 0 Colbourne
70 406.21 0 Deceased Writers Guild
71 304.34 0 Vlaskin
72 104.48 0 The Bostopian Empire
73 104.37 () Miroxia
74 104.18 () Panuul
75 94.52 () Onimar
76 91.68 () Australiah
77 91.64 () United Island Empires
78 91.46 () Swilatia
79 91.42 () Viltek
80 91.35 () Seventy Ninth Entrant
81 90.43 () Saturday Sport
82 90.31 () Chutnusak

Notes:

* Ranks only include teams participating in the World Cup!
* All zero-ranked (0) teams were given a uniform 100 score.

Fan #1: So... we lost to the fake Vephrese guys...

Fan #2: Yes... 1-3 I heard... Were there any Septentrionians going there?

Fan #1: I guess so... 18 of them they said... Only 16 were to play, however, with the two other ones being the coach

Fan #2: Smartass... I was speaking of fans going there. You know? Guys like us who like to support a team...

Fan #1: Speaking of which, your 1093 lost once again today... they're going to be relegated, right?

Fan #2: HEY! At least, we're in Superligue, Latins fan...

Fan #1: But we won the Bouclier. We're aiming for promotion next season, however...

Fan #2: The Bouclier is nothing compared to the Champions Cup we won last season. So :tongue:

Fan #1: Pfft... we all know that you won it because nobody wanted to play the final in Taeshan. By the way, while we're on the Taeshan topic, do you know what happened to their army?

Fan #2: Their "army"? They're really drunk tourists fighting at the bars' closure. Whenever a bar closes, they appear, fight with less drunk people and always lose.

Fan #1: Ah... so that's why we don't hear of them anymore.

Fan #2: Exactly... Have you taken a look at the schedule? Seems like l'Association really wants us to throw pistachios at the Jeruselemites. They scheduled the match at Pistachios Field. I thought the fad ended two years ago after the World Cup...

Fan #1: Oh, it did. But the Bostopians in here are anxious to throw pistachios at the Dallases. In fact, they're throwing pistachios at fans of any other club since they're in 3e Division. Of course, with such hooligans, they now have a worse rep than ever... oh, take a look at that, it's the News Show!

*raises the volume*

News presentator: Good evening everybody. We'll begin with thw news everybody was waiting for: Jimmy Sheridan, the former president of Sorthern Northland, has finally been found after being reported as missing. The point, Jérémy Lacasse.

Jérémy Lacasse: Today, in a Bostopian pub in Ourseville, called The Fighting Okie, one of the people sitting at a table saw what appeared to be a ginger male. Ginger people are very uncommon on the island, so he tried to speak in Bensroomese to him, a language the unknown ginger claimed to not understand, until he began speaking it at random. Let's listen to the guy.

*screen switches to the guy, named Charles Smith*

Charles Smith: So I saw le guy and I asked him: "Are you le Jimmy Sheridan?" He replied: "Le no", but I knew it was le him, as he was speaking le bensroomese and looked like le someone we're supposed to hate, at least in le Bostopie. *Throws a pistachio nut at "le reporter"*

Jérémy Lacasse: So that's when he told us that Sheridan was working for what appeared to be the Government that we used the law on the freedom of information to get the required information: Sheridan was now working as a Ministère des jeux, alcools et tabac inspector of alcoholic beverages. A very convenient occupation for someone who is coming from a country where "Alcohol consumption must be encouraged starting the age of 5 years old" in the constitution. All of that while the Sorthern Northlander government was trying to find him after he was lost in the Affaire de l'Île 984. Jérémy Lacasse, TVNord, Ourseville.

THE ROCKET REPORT

WRONG PLACE; WRONG TIME

The Bostopian Empire- At first glance, this is a terrible, devastating result. In reality, The Bostopian Empire played a great game and were obviously inspired by their first home game in front of their fans. These fans, were rooting for the entire Empire, for it was their team. No longer did they have to root for Bostopia, although they probably still will once the World Cup Proper starts. They had a team of their own, and the players wanted to make a good impression early. The punching bags of the group would they be? No, not at all. They had the fighting spirit of the Bostopia we all know and love. Well, at least, the one we all know. It was the first time they would play a game as a unit, making it hard for Brian Carson to have any kind of scouting material on them. If they were a pushover, it wouldn’t matter. But that would not be the case, and the end result is Newmanistan settling for a 2-2 draw.

It was not an enviable position to be in, and one that no other team in the group will have to deal with, because they will be able to scout them off of this game. For the home fans, the second time is never better then the first, so this result might not really translate into much for the qualifying effort for The Bostopian Empire. It’s too early to say what kind of an impact the result will have on Newmanistan’s effort to qualify for World Cup 43, but we do know that it won’t help matters. Questions will abound about whether or not the Rockets were looking to have a simple walk through in this game before their big home fixture with Starblaydia, something that team has denied. If you watched the game, you know that wasn’t the case.

Newmanistan tried to jump on their opponent early. It seemed like a good strategy as it could silence the home crowd and quickly erase the thoughts of any upset. The Rockets carried the play, but it was the work of goalkeeper Steve Bush that got the crowd even more pumped up. In the 4th minute of action, he made an incredible stop on Shawn Drummond, then got a little fortunate when he just got his fingertips to a Jeremy McAllister shot in the 11th minute to deflect the ball over the crossbar. The ball grazed the crossbar slightly as it went over. In the 14th minute, the Rockets were whistled for offsides (rightfully so), on a close play when defender Manjit Kulmar made the decision to move up and deliberately try to get the whistle on McAllister. He did, and when J-Mac fired the shot in the goal, it was disallowed. No arguments from the Rockets as it was the right call, although they seemed a little annoyed at Kulmar. The Rockets went on the attack in the 18th, but had a pass from Brett Prescott to Alex Parnett be a little short (and you know critics will blame Brett’s age for this), and be intercepted by Larry Johnson. It was the first big opportunity for the Bostopian Empire, and after receiving the pass from Johnson, Jack Austell got by Tony Borsinger and fired the shot past Hennis to take a one-nil lead. Borsinger, maybe, could have been a little more aggressive on this play, but we cannot fault him too much. After surviving the Newmanistan flurry, and now with a one goal lead, the crowd was cheering and chanting at a deafening level. They rode this wave of momentum to control play themselves, and if not for great defensive work in the back by the Rockets, it could have been 2-0 or even 3-0 by the time the 30th minute came along. They survived the heat of onslaught, but in the 35th minute, Scott Lafave was whistled for a foul inside the penalty area, and sure enough, Greg Craven, the captain, would get a penalty kick. With a nice shot fake, Craven got Hennis to guess incorrectly, and fired it home to make it 2-0, and this would be the way we went into intermission.

It was a tough halftime for Brian Carson and his team. Overall, the team did not play horribly, it was just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Bostopian Empire was not playing like a 165th-ranked team, and with no information on the way they like to play other then some reports from training that they like to play a wide open style, Newmanistan wasn’t as prepared for what they saw. Despite that, they did have a decent first half, especially with their first half chances. So what do you say to the team? Just go out there and do what you were doing? What Carson did have was the benefit now of seeing the first half. He knew the opponent better, and could make better adjustments. There was a cautious optimism in the locker room. They would have to strike quickly.

The seocnd half began a lot like the first half started, with the Rockets controlling the play and getting chances, but this defense of the Bostopian Empire was up for the challenge, as obviously they were expecting this offensive flurry. Bush continued to make some great saves, but in the 59th minute, at long last, Newmanistan would get on the scoreboard. Jeremy McAllister would not be shutout in his 100th interregional cap, taking a pass from Shawn Drummond, who himself received a nice cross from Dale Stevens, and capitalizing. J-Mac made a sweet move to dribble around Manjit Kulmar, a defender that had been annoying him all game long, before scoring the goal to make it 2-1. For a little while after the goal, the action was bogged down in midfield, but not because of a lack of effort. The Bostopian Empire was trying to get some momentum back, and wanted to restore their two goal lead, while the Rockets were trying to maintain it. This led to some back and forth action, but no real quality chance. The game would go all the way until the 78th minute when the Rockets would salvage something. Brett Prescott simply let it go from about 10 yards outside of the box, and he showed that the “old man” can still deliver a strike with pinpoint accuracy even late in the contest. Bush had stopped tougher shots, and the crowd was quite dejected by the goal. Nonetheless, it tied up the game. Saving the day, somewhat. The best chance in the closing minutes was a stoppage time effort by The Bostopian Empire, a shot by Will Peterson which was very well struck, that Hennis stopped, but did not control. Jack Austell almost got to the rebound, but this time Tony Borsinger was aggressive, dove for the ball, and cleared it, just a split second before Austell could get to it. The game ends 2-2, and there will be a lot of different angles in which this game will be looked at. We’ll leave you to make your own conclusion.

Post game reaction:

Carson: It’s reminiscent of when we played our first game against The Bostopian Empire’s rival Sorthern Northland. We snuck up on them a little bit. These guys are good, and I hope they stick around and attempt to qualify for more World Cups, because they have a lot of passion, and are much better then their rank suggests.

Brooker: I know you are all going to say we choked, or we took them too lightly. That’s not true, we were fired up for this game. The Bostopian Empire is a good club. They can cause trouble to the Lovisas and Dancougars of the group, too.

Hennis: It was tough on the penalty not knowing a single thing about the shot taker. Not that I want to make an excuse, but in that situation the advantage is definitely to the shooter. Stopping a penalty is hard enough even when you know the guy well.

McAllister: A very disappointing result, but it’s a 14-game qualification process. We didn’t just fail to qualify for World Cup 43 because we only drew with the Bostopian Empire.

THE BOSTOPIAN EMPIRE 2
Austell (18")
Craven (35")

NEWMANISTAN 2
McAllister (59")
Prescott (78")

QNN
Where News Happens

"For the first time in a while, we will be starting the news with Sports, as the World Cup Qualifiers have started, and Qazox travelled to Cokenia and escaped with a 3-2 win. The home side managed to score just 4 minutes into the match, after Diane Wiser was called for a tackle in the penalty area, leading to a penalty kick. But the Pheonix are resilent, even though this team is not as experienced as in the past. But the front three of Charles Marquis, Raul de Olivares and Yolanda Christian have been important role players over the past couple of cups and they all scored in the first half, giving Qazox a 3-1 lead at the half. Only an own goal by Victor Samuels, Jr in the 84th minute made the result seem closer than it was. The own goal was the first in over 60 years against Qazox. Up next is the home opener against 165th ranked Swilatia at Champions Field.

The complete schedule and Results (Home games and Wins in BOLD):



MD1: @ Cokenia WIN 3-2 (Record: 1-0-0)
MD2: Swilatia @ Champions Field, Qazox City. Capacity: 84,420.
MD3: @ Tortuga y Hispaniola
MD4: Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD5: @ The Holy Empire
MD6: Urna Eletrônica @ Estadio Azul Flores, Iguana de Mia. Capacity: 71,000.
MD7: Blouman Empire @ Estadia Pika, Pika City. Capacity: 78,625.
OFF DAY
MD8: Cokenia @ Toro Rojo Stadium, Las Vitas. Capacity: 70,000.
MD9: @ Swilatia
MD10: Tortuga y Hispaniola @ Toro Rojo Stadium, Las Vitas. Capacity: 70,000.
MD11:@ Az-cz
MD12: The Holy Empire @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD13: @ Urna Eletrônica
MD14: @ Blouman Empire


QAZOX SCORING today
Charles Marquis- 22'
Yolanda Christian- 31'
Raul de Olivares- 38'


QAZOX OVERALL SCORING
Charles Marquis- 1
Raul de Olivares- 1
Yolanda Christian- 1


<Commercial break>

Back to the battlefronts, as Qazox has suffered a setback in Sawed as three bombs were exploded earlier today outside of barracks in West Tobin. Over 150 confirmed dead soldiers and over 600 wounded, with about 1000 civilians and locals injured and 250 dead. The terrorist group of AMANDA or Armed Men Against Non-Dewas Armies has claimed responsibility. AMANDA is also suspected of the bombing of Marleyville in Sativaville earlier today which killed the family of President Cheech Chong and also killed 30 others.

Stay tuned to QNN for more news as it happens.

The canopy hatch snapped shut. Russ sat at the front seat and gave the controls a once-over, while Peter slipped into the back and put on his headset. There were no radar signatures in the sky... it looked like the base hadn't launched anyone else. He flipped through the different sensors and buckled in as Russ nudged the vehicle upwards.

"Pete, where's the professor's van?" asked Russ. "We'll need to cover him until he gets to the base."

Peter went back his radar and, sure enough, there was an enormous cross-section on the ground. "Got him!" he replied. "He's heading east on the sixteen." A warning beeped as tiny signatures appeared on his screen. They were coming from the top of the mountain. "Incoming, dude!" he shouted. "Watch it, they're fast!"

"We'll show them fast!" Russ answered. "Hang on!" On his panel, he pulled a switch marked 'F,' sending the current 'G' switch to the default off position. The legs snapped back into the fuselage and the arms retracted as well. The plane was immediately moving forward in a rough ascension, the wings swept all the way back for maximum speed. Russ released the safety on the trigger. His ammo gauge came up.

The enemies were swarming at the top of the mountain and a few noticed their approach. They looked exactly like the cave paintings... eyeballs with tattered black wings. They opened wide and charged at them. "What the... what he hell are they?!" cried Peter. The radar was picking them up clearly. He swallowed and went back to his screen. "Whatever they are, you're locked on!"

"Engage!!" cried Russ, pulling the trigger. A burst of fire erupted from the underbelly gunpod and smashed into one flying eyeball. A purple goo burst forth as the body disintegrated. He turned his nose at another one, likewise tearing through it. The Rhinemaiden shot past the eyeballs' chaotic formation and banked to begin another run. This time, they parted quickly and allowed him to fly through without getting a shot off, with three breaking off to pursue.

"They're forming up!" Peter said. "Three on us, the rest are heading towards the base." He looked up, a bead of sweat running down his face. "The professor is...!!"

"I'll shake these bastards, no problem!" Russ said, gritting his teeth. He punched his throttle and weaved through the clouds. Frantically flapping behind him were the eyeballs, which nevertheless kept pace. Red streaks flew past the canopy as they opened fire, the fire leaping forth from their pupils. "What the hell are those things made of?!" muttered Russ, as not even an accelerating dive was enough to shake them.

Gunfire tore through the sky and the pursuers evaporated. Peter looked around him with a start. "What the... there's nothing on radar!"

Two Rhinemaidens appeared in their field of view, bringing the three into a reverse V formation. They matched their speed with Russ. "These... these must be stealth fighters!" Russ exclaimed.

"Use that thing properly!" came a stern female voice. "If you can't shake them, switch to GUARDIAN and get behind them!"

What is she talking about? thought Russ. Does she mean that mode I was in? He quickly pulled up the computer manual. Sure enough, that's what she meant: General Use ARmament for DI-modal AviatioN, which was the fancy official way to say 'half plane, half robot.' That could've worked. A quick deceleration and form change would give them greater mobility.

"Hey, what are those things, anyway?" came another voice over the radio. "And who are you guys?"

"Never mind that!" Russ shot back, turning his fighter back towards the professor's van. "We have escort duty."

"Hey, what are you...!" the first woman cried, but Russ had already turned his jet towards the van, which had a trio of eyeballs moving in. There wasn't time to argue with him. There was a big formation of demon eyes approaching the base. "Do what you want, then! Sonya, Christina! We'll hold them off till the 89th can engage!"

"Do you think they'll also launch?" asked Sonya. Christina sat behind her in their Rhinemaiden's second seat, visibly disappointed that she wasn't in the pilot's seat of the fighter which Russ and Peter commandeered. It wasn't fair that Sonya was better at jan-ken. "Captain Inoue?"

The eyes of the team leader Inoue Hayasaka narrowed. "If what the colonel said is true," she began, "then they'll have no choice... when the real monsters attack."

Von Steuben veered left and right as the eyeball demons began their attack on the van. Fireballs dug into the road and threatened to crush the vehicle. He heard the scream of jet engines approaching, and he grinned as he gunned it. A shadow fell over the car as Russ flew the Rhinemaiden in at low altitude, switching into GUARDIAN. He hovered in lockstep with the van, picking off each of the eyes with gunfire. His own eyes matched the fire of his enemies'. "Don't mock this Rhinemaiden!" Russ shouted. "You won't get to that van!"

********************

At the base, Simms had made it to the base's command center. The prince and princess followed, and the Beast Machine pilots were right behind them. "What's the situation?" he asked.

"Unknowns approaching!" replied an operator. "There's over three hundred of them... and they don't match anything in the record file! Angel 3 is sending a visual." The enemy went up on the screen. Jaws fell as the demons hove into view. An eye with wings. "W-w-w-w-what the...?!"

"What the hell is that thing?!" Tetsuya murmured.

Princess Erica squeezed Chase's arm. "Chase..."

Simms couldn't let something like this bother him. He could worry about what it meant later... demon or not, it was an enemy. "The enemies will be designated as Gray Sister!" he announced. "The Build Angels have already engaged them. We should prepare to defend the base. Open a channel with Brandenstein. Colonel?"

"Yes, Colonel Simms, is it about the incoming enemies?" asked Brandenstein.

"You've seen them too, then?" asked Simms.

"It doesn't matter what they are, we'll defeat them if they threaten this base and our peace!" Brandenstein declared. "Watch the pride of the 89th Mobile!" He closed the channel and grinned as his machines stomped out of their hanger. So... it's finally started.

===========================================

Dancougar News!!
We interrupt this battle to give you matchday one highlights!

Jinguuji hat trick powers Wings: One could find fault with the Black Wings for only playing teams ranked below them during pre-qualifying friendlies, rather than challenging themselves. But Solomon Bilbao will be forgiven after the team powered past Glaycia 5-1 at the National Stadium behind Shishio Jinguuji's hat trick. It nearly halved the gap between him and Hideo Ikeda for the all-time national team scoring mark of 30 goals; Jinguuji now sits at 25.

"I mean, you can look at this and say, what a great individual effort," said Bilbao. "But this is still a great team win. You had a lot of guys put in the hard work to give him the opportunity to score those goals."

With a packed stadium on hand for the match, the Wings looked to start their qualifying effort with a strong effort against a team picked by many as a possible spoiler in Group 8. But Glaycia never looked dangerous on the night, and their only goal came in the final ten minutes after the outcome had already been decided. All the early chances fell to Dancougar, with Jinguuji opened the scoring in the 16th minute by redirecting a Benjamin Whittaker free kick behind the diving goalkeeper.

But the game was blown open ten minutes later, when the Dancougar offense poured on the heat and was rewarded. It started with a long-range effort from Lyle Dylandy that was pushed wide, and then the corner was cleared out of the box. In minute 28, Dan Potts chased an errant long ball down to the end line and whipped it back into the box. On came Kevin Underwood to pop it home, and it was 2-0. Two minutes later, Jinguuji made it 3-0 when Whittaker's cross was headed against the back post by Potts, but Jinguuji was right there to tap in.

Glaycia tried to get a response in before halftime, but both shots were turned aside by Yuji Watanabe. The first was a cannon shot from twenty five yards, while the second came off a corner. "We felt good about the pace of the game," said Underwood. "It's hard to come back from three down, but they really showed some fight at the end of the first half."

But a three goal home lead rarely evaporates, even a little. After threatening to score the fourth for the first fifteen minutes, the Wings got it on a counterattack. Glaycia's fight to get back into the game opened up acres of space in the midfield, and a dispossession by Casey Berber turned into a rush. Berber sent it to Dylandy, who turned and ran it thirty yards before laying it square for Jinguuji, who ran onto the ball for a shot at the top of the box. Minute 64, hat trick, 4-0 Dancougar.

"Three goals, three points, so I'd call it a good day," said Jinguuji. "Our midfield did a great job creating offense."

The lead gave Bilbao a chance to bring on some of the reserves. Alexei Voronzoff replaced Dylandy, making his first national team appearance since Oxen Cup 7. Jinguuji was brought off to applause, replaced by Shiro Furuya. Kondo Tanaka was brought in for Kazuki Midorikawa, his first action since World Cup 40. Glaycia got one back in the 82nd, but Whittaker completed the rout at the death with an 89th minute free strike from the top of the box.

Greal Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS (159) Vlaskin (4-2)
MD2: Greal VS (19) Demot
MD3: Greal VS (31) Krytenia
MD4: Greal VS (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD5: Greal VS (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD6: Greal VS (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD7: Greal VS (118) Dariusville
MD8: Greal VS (159) Vlaskin
MD9: Greal VS (19) Demot
MD10: Greal VS (31) Krytenia
MD11: Greal VS (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD12: Greal VS (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD13: Greal VS (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD14: Greal VS (118) Dariusville



Greal 4-2 Vlaskin

Greal and Vlaskin battled in a tough match yesterday, seen by a sellout crowd, and tens of millions in Greal.

The match started with Sebastian Expan severely injured while attempting to score. Howard Anderson in a penalty, scored soon after this. Vlaskin rallied by scoring one goal, and they attempted to do it again a few minutes later, but Raul Grant blocked the second attempt. Michael Istoma took the fight to the Vlaskin goalie and managed to score before half time was up. Vlaskin attempted to rally, but Howard Anderson managed to long shoot the ball to the end of the field, where Michael Istoma scored a second time at the forty third minute. Vlaskin finally managed to get around when one of their forwarders scored past Sam Hardy. Vlaskin spent rest of the game trying to score again in hopes of a tie, but Greal's defenders did not let them past again. Just before the game was up, Howard Anderson scored a dramatic goal that brought cheers from the crowd.

Greal Player Scores

Howard Anderson- 2 goals
Michael Istoma - 2 goals

THE HEXAGON REPORT
It's News, Because We Say So!


The Wombats held off a tough ABM team winning 2-14 behind goals from Pauline Utley and Edward Griffin, in the 30th and 85th minutes respectively. While ABM's Muris O'Sullivan scored early to give the home side an early lead, but this Wombat team has improved over the last 4 years and didn't allow themselves to get rattled by the early deficit. Up next is Valetaland, whom we've not yet met in any competition. A win would do wonders for the team before they start the troughest part of the schedule.

(NOTE: All home matches will be played at: Green wombat Field, aka: "The Barracks": The Hexagon. Capacity: 66,666.)
MD1: @ An Blascaod Mór WIN 2-1
MD2: vs Valetaland
MD3: @ The Archregimancy
MD4: vs Jasiyun/Jaseuyeon
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland
MD6: vs Nethertopia
MD7: vs Onimar
MD8: vs An Blascaod Mór
MD9: @ Valetaland
MD10: vs The Archregimancy
MD11: @ Jasiyun/Jaseuyeon
MD12: vs Sorthern Northland
MD13: @ Nethertopia
MD14: @ Onimar
OVERALL RECORD: 1-0-0


The Post MD1 Ranks (1st Place Votes in Bold Italics)


TOP 15 POLL
Rank/Prev.
1/3 Valanora 6 (Co-host, is not participating in qualifiers)
2/5 Milchama 1-0-0 5
3/3 Bostopia 1-0-0 3
4/4 Starblaydia 1-0-0 1
5/7 Cafundéu 1-0-0
6/8 Wentland 1-0-0 1
7/11 Bazalonia 1-0-0
8/9 Daehanjeiguk 1-0-0
9/10 Qazox 1-0-0
10/12 Tynelia 1-0-0
11/1 Capitalizt SLANI 0-0-1
12/NR Dancougar 1-0-0
13/14 Kura-Pelland 1-0-0
14/NR Sorthern Northland 1-0-0
15/13 Demot 0-1-0
FELL OUT:
#2 Jeruselem 0-0-1
#15 Ad'ihan 0-0-1


In our Top 15 poll, due to losses, both the #1 and #2 teams fell, but SLANI stays in the poll, as they lost to #8 Wentland, while Jeruselem due to the loss to Kenavt drops out of the top 15, for now. Ad'ihan dropped out as well, losing to #5 Milchama. Dancougar, 5-1 winners over Glycia and Sorthern Northland, 3-2 winners over the Archregimancy join the top 15.

ESPN Journal of Sport
October 13, 1944

Prux vs. Bushdome, Game 1 of qualifying
by: Saul Werth

Prux is off to a good start following a 3-1 win over lightly-heralded Bushdome. The attack of the Zombies, no pun intended, as the PFA has agreed to allow the zombies to be muzzled in exchange for all of Prux' qualifying matches to be held at 9pm local time; was efficent, geeting two early goals off the undead foot of Zombie Ronaldo. Bushdome's counter-attacking style did not bear fruit until the 67th minute, cutting the lead in half. But thanks to a couple of timely passes, a careless clearout by the Bushdome defense and a powerful blast off the foot of Zombie Just Fontaine, the final goal broke the proverbial backs of the vistors, and Prux begins its quest for another World Cup berth with a win. The next team to pay visit to our fair nation is Thoughts of Randomness, who were 2-nil losers at home to Tynelia, one of the highest ranked teams in the world. While Prux seemingly have the home field advantage, ToR has proved that they can hold their own and if this game is close late, Prux could find themselves on the short end of an mild upset.

MD1: vs. Bushdome WIN 3-1
MD2: vs. Thoughts of Randomness
MD3: vs. Tynelia
MD4: @ Yafor 2
MD5: vs. United Island Empires
MD6: vs. West Zirconia
MD7: vs. Kelssek
QUALIFYING BREAK
MD8: @ Bushdome
MD9: @ Thoughts of Randomness
MD10: @ Tynelia
MD11: vs. Yafor 2
MD12: @ United Island Empires
MD13: @ West Zirconia
MD14: @ Kelssek

OVERALL: 1-0-0
Projected: 8-3-3

Goal Scoring:
Zombie Ronaldo- 2
Zombie Just Fontaine- 1

United Islands Daily World Cup blog

Hi all. I'll be blogging from our qualifying matches this campaign leading up to World Cup 43. If you're still in the dark over who I am, you'll find out soon enough.

We started our campaign in a pretty decent fashion. A lot of the boys, including myself, were worried about going to Liventia for our friendly but the people there were generally welcoming, despite the politics between our countries. It's the first time I've been back to the mainland since we declared full independence, and it's changed dramatically. It was very weird to see no more references to federalism.

The match was decent. We played at Grovers Park in Orean, which is where I spent part of my childhood growing up. I used to live not 5 minutes from Grovers Park, so I went back to my old neighbourhood. A few of my childhood friends still live there, so it was very nice to see them again after so many years spent away in Ad’ihan and now Vephrall, where I play professionally (hint, hint).

It was a great feeling to step onto the Grovers Park pitch. I was born in Ad’ihan, but we lived in Orean for five years before moving back to the islands. Grovers Park was a favourite joint of mine, even after Orean United were relegated back then. It's good to know that once again they're playing top-flight football.

The match was uneventful, aside from the five goals. No yellow cards nor red cards, which was a real surprise to me given all the animosity between our governments. It was a real good, clean game played in the right spirit and I'm delighted to have added to my sixteen international goals with my first-ever hat-trick.

I've been a big fan of Colin Marshall, the Liventian defensive midfielder, since he burst onto the scene a few years ago, so I took the opporunity to swap shirts with him. He seems like a nice lad, plays in Candelaria And Marquez so he can't be that bad.

We flew into Milchama three days before our qualifier against them, and unfortunately there were many teething problems. Jet lag was a factor, and it didn't help that some of the boys' luggage went missing at Orean Airport and thus didn't make the flight — they ended up wearing their stinking clothes for the next two days until the staff in Orean managed to locate the bags. An absent-minded baggage handler left it in the room where they keep spare baggage trolleys.

When we got to our hotel we were appalled to find that there was construction work going on nearby 24/7, which meant that it was almost impossible to get decent rest to sleep off our jet lag. Training was also almost impossible, with the training pitch allocated to us being 90 minutes away from the hotel. I'm sure the AFF will be getting in touch with the Milchaman FA over that; otherwise I expect that their players can expect the same when they visit us.

We had no time to go out sightseeing, not that there was much anyway. The 90-minute drives to and from training pretty much proved that there was absolutely nothing to see except farms and synagogues. You'd think there'd be more to do here, but apparently not.

Now to the match. I hate to be making excuses for our honestly inexcusable 5-1 loss, I guess Martin just had a poor day in front of goal. The gaffer's still got the complete support of the team so we hope the fans won't get on his back too quickly.

Simon Labrie, who as you will know has been my stand-by replacement recently, finally made his first start after years of waiting, and credit to the lad got our only goal from my corner, but we'll definitely be looking to improve quickly. We host Liventia next at the Protectorate Stadium, so we'll be looking to make the most of our friendly win as momentum.

Oh. In case you're still guessing, you can stop now. I'm Anthony Jones, captain of the Ad’ihan national team. See you all back at home, and hopefully we'll produce the goods.

(Translate this blog entry: French | Spanish | German)

Schedule of matches
Matchday 1: Milchama (A) L1-5
Matchday 2: Liventia (Protectorate Stadium)
Matchday 3: Quakmybush (A)
Matchday 4: Terreiro de Ogum (Stade des Îles)
Matchday 5: Magnus Valerius (A)
Matchday 6: Miroxia (Stade Aéroport)
Matchday 7: Australiah (Great Mets Stadium)
Matchday 8: Milchama (Protectorate Stadium)
Matchday 9: Liventia (A, Grovers Park)
Matchday 10: Quakmybush (Tallyn Ground)
Matchday 11: Terreiro de Ogum (A)
Matchday 12: Magnus Valerius (Stade des Îles)
Matchday 13: Miroxia (A)
Matchday 14: Australiah (A)

Liventia on the board as Ad’ihan fail

Orean, LIVENTIA— The national football team has drawn 1-1 with Miroxia to record their first point of this World Cup 43 qualifying season. The team, drawn in Group 4 with arch-rivals Ad’ihan as well as perennial qualifiers Milchama and Quakmybush, look to have a difficult task ahead of them if they want to qualify, but they certainly have drawn first blood over Ad’ihan, who failed hard by losing 5-1 to Milchama.

Playing at home to start the campaign, the team looked solid, with most of the team having just completed their first full season of professional football in the Liventian First Division. Captain and Caires City midfielder Colin Marshall patrolled the midfield well, sitting right in front of the back four and not allowing the Miroxian attack in. Miroxia's only goal, which came from a set piece, was a lucky break for the visitors, who were pinned back in their own half for large periods of the game.

Marshall, on one of his daring runs into attack, won a penalty kick in the 76th minute after being tripped, brushed himself off and coolly converted the equaliser to cap a good day's football. The good day was made even better when news filtered through from Milchama that the top seeds had thrashed second-seeded Ad’ihan 5-1.

Liventia will have to travel to Ad’ihan next, hoping to take advantage of Ad’ihan's expected low morale after their epic failure at the hands of Milchama. It is however unclear if the government of Liventia, which currently has sanctions on Liventian citizens visiting Ad’ihan, will grant an exception to the squad and its fans.

SUCCESSFUL DEBUT

After some wild friendlies that included a stunning draw against the powerhouse known as Cafundeu and a victory over Arroza, the Millionaires were very confident that they could open up the group stage of qualifying with a win. After all, they were only playing the Deceased Writers Guild, and there would be much tougher games down the road. With that, there was a high emphasis on making sure the team got off to the right start. We saw the DWG in the Baptism of Fire and they were not much of a contender there, creating a confidence for this one. The defense was very impressive during the entire game, much like they were against Cafundeu in the friendly. Secristan plans on going with a defensive focus in qualifying even though we realize that the fans want to see goals. You have to play the style that gives you the best chance to gain points, and we’re not about to try and get into shootouts with Jeruselem and Kura-Pelland. Defense then, it will be. Michael Rossiter made the saves when he needed to, and Lucas Kempski was making opposing strikers wishing they were deceased with some rough tackles. In the games 39th minute, Secristan achieved a milestone. Yes, that always special first ever goal in interregional competition. James Rogan would be the hero, assisted by Kevin Walker. This happened a lot in the Baptism of Fire, and should happen a lot again. Once they had the lead, the Millionaires clamped down even harder on the writers, and got themselves a 1-0 victory.

The draw with Cafundeu generated a lot of excitement within the country. The Secristan Department of Sports showed the friendlies against Cafundeu and Arroza on free television with the sole intention of generating more interest in the team. Such a gesture wasn’t needed in the Newmanistan friendly, because the national rivalry alone would garner interest in the match. If they could play level with Cafundeu, then they may be a team worth paying to watch. The SDOS realizes that it was a fluke result, but they aren’t about to say anything.

The SDOS released the following pay-per-view price structure for the games as prices vary on the quality of opponent. Also listed is the minimum bid for a seat in our home games. Our first home game is our next game, against KaMaRi.

Here is the Price Structure:
MD1:@ Deceased Writers Guild- 39R per half, 75R full game.
MD2: vs KaMaRi- 29R per half, 55R full game. Minimum bid= 100R
MD3: @ Septentrionia- 49R per half, 95R full game
MD4: vs Kenavt- 29R per half, 55R full game. Minimum bid= 20R
MD5: @ Kura-Pelland- 59R per half, 115R full game.
MD6: vs Chutnusak- 19R per half, 35R full game. Minimum bid- 2R
MD7: vs Jeruselem- 79R per half, 155R full game. Minimum bid= 200R (No minimum bid for Jeruselem fans)
MD8: vs Deceased Writers Guild- 19R per half, 35R full game. Minimum bid= 2R
MD9: @ KaMaRi- 39R per half, 75R full game
MD10: vs Septentrionia- 49R per half, 95R full game. Minimum bid= 50R
MD11: @ Kenavt- 39R per half, 75R full game.
MD12: vs Kura-Pelland- 69R per half, 135R full game. Minimum bid= 150R (Kura-Pelland fans may bid a minimum of 50R)
MD13: @ Chutnusak- 19R per half, 35R full game
MD14: @ Jeruselem- 99R per half, 195R full game.

A 14 game package can be purchased for 1100R (a 130R savings over buying each game individually).

No one particular cared for the Friendly at Krytenia, and largely went unnoticed, the fact that the Bazalopes won was a "Oh, That's nice dear but wait for the World Cup to get started before getting exited." though in my own little world things soon went from bad to worse and football was no where near on my mind.

"What do you mean there is no Acting PM?"

"Exactly that sir, the deputy leader of the Neo-Liberal Party is refusing to take the Oath of Office, saying that he believes its stil filled by David Hawdon."

"Ugh, Doesn't he under the constitutional ramifications of this?"

Perhaps you might not understand just how important the position of Prime Minister is in regard to the constitution of Bazalonia. The Legal answer is absolutely not at all, the constitution doesn't even mention that such office could exist. Bazalonia's major political processes are not defined in the constitution but in a series of conventions that determine how parliment is run, and in this case create the office of Prime Minister. If the office was not to be filled even in a care-taker role while a new PM is elected then the whole system of the conventions would be in utter turmoil. It's not like in a war where there are numerous recognised methods to deal with the loss of a PM, such a situation would be unprecidented and would fundamentally challenge the nature of our Democracy.


"Apparently not, Sir."

"Alright, get me his office then..."

The Clerk sat down and pulled up the handset reciever and dialed the number to the Member of Parliament's office.

"I'm sorry, but he's not here." A voice said on the other end of the line. "He's watching the first Qualification match in the CBBC Dome. Can I leave a message for him when he returns?"

Sports is something that Bazalonia has done well, always have, perhaps not the best in the World at this particular one but as a nation we love it anyway. It was hard to determine if he was doing it for political gain sometime down the track, or perhaps for his sheer enjoyment of the game. Either way, this needed to be resolved and quickly I had to contact him directly at the Dome but how without making a public spectacle out of it. And then I realised...

"The government owns a private box in the CBBC Dome, right. For entertaining foreign dignitaries?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Do you happen to have the number? He would be in there I'm sure."

"No... but I do think I should be able to get it."

"Alright do what you can."

After a couple of calls to some contacts in various governmental departments he managed to get a hold of the number. I still wonder how he did that and how he could foster so many relations, you know with the seperation of the branches of government. Time was now of the essence I knew that there was only 10 minutes of the game left. If I would have any chance of getting in contact with him before he went home which would delay it even more then I needed to do it now. I rang the number... The phone ran 3,4, now 5 times. I was thinking he might not answer it, too engrossed by the game. 6th, and 7th... Finally he answered it...

"BOOYAH - Another Goal... 6-0 we're wiping the floor with them!" Frederick Johnson screamed down the line.

"Fred, I need to talk about you and the Oath..."

"Who is this?"

"Chief Justice Bennet..."

"Oh, look I'm not taking it..."

"Ok, you've made your political statement, but I need you take the Oath and assume acting as PM on his behalf. It would mean real problems for the stability of our political conventions if you didn't."

"You mean that all the conventions might suddenly be considered worthless."

"Exactly,"

"I dunno, this whole CA thing is codswallup and you know it, I don't even know why we have to even consider it."

"It's a legal thing, I can't explain it properly now but David Hawdon can't be PM now, though you can do it in his stead, follow his policies, I don't care try andfollow his lead from when he was PM, but you have to be Acting PM while this is sorted otherwise.... well..."

"Ok, I get you. I'll do it first thing tomorrow."

This was the first time that soccer had made it's prescence felt in this saga, little did I know soon the important role this sport would play in how things progressed from here.

Courtney’s Space

It was the moment I’ve always dreamed about. Cassadaigua in the World Cup. The Baptism of Fire came and went, and that was a fun experience. This was a lot more relaxed. We didn’t have to worry about how much every single action was going to cost us. We were at home, ready to play soccer and the fans were going crazy. Standing next to us in the tunnel were a group of players from Land de Wood. They seemed like nice people, even though we didn’t get any of their names. It made it all seem like the first game of the Baptism of Fire, but it wasn’t. Land de Wood is an underdog. They are not one of the teams that is likely to qualify either but you never really know. We then hit the pitch for a roaring standing ovation. Thank you, everyone. We were all very touched by that.

Maybe a little too touched. Land de Wood wasn’t here for sentimental reasons. They were here to win a game that they needed if they are going to have their longshot bid at qualification work. As a team, we talked about the game, and really thought it was won we could win. At the start though, something just wasn’t right. We were thinking too much. Instead of just doing what came naturally to us, we were trying to make passes we shouldn’t make. Or we were trying to get a real highlight reel goal when we should have passed it up. I blew it in the 14th minute, I know. Jessica Keeley was wide open, I just didn’t see her in time. I wish I could have it all back again, but things just happen so fast. Michelle (Baynes, the coach) told me at halftime about my bad read on the play that I can’t let it get me down. She also told me that it’s the little things like this that separate teams like Cassadaigua and Land de Wood or even a Cafundeu. It’s all about execution, and we were on edge. In the 31st minute, I was too low on a shot I want to fire into the top corner. I probably would have scored. We had these moments. Kirsten Logan, Jessica Keeley, myself, and others. We wanted to do too much. Land de Wood played it smart, in retrospect. Their 44th minute goal was a dagger. It really was. In the second half, we were still prone to some silly errors, plays that in practice we executed fine. In the game, we couldn’t. The goal they got in the 57th minute was a demoralizer. We should have bounced back better, but we didn’t. We faded at the end and it wasn’t pretty. We are all very grateful to Rachel Terry that she kept the score at 2-0 until the end. We’ll learn from this.

World Cup 43: Match Day One

Rennidan : Colbourne
2:1



Match Report:

Rennidan - I will admit, ladies and gents, this match has left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Not only did Rennidan fail to win either of their friendly matches, but now they're clinching through their first official World Cup match with a narrow 2-1 victory. Now, I'm not going to say this is a bad thing, a win is still a win, but I was really hoping Rennidan could put on a show following their abysmal opening friendlies.

As I sat, beer in hand, waiting for kickoff, I asked one of the nearest Rennidan fans for his thoughts on what was going to happen.

"We'll win." He said with unwavering confidence, "There's no doubt that we're the better team down there. It just comes down to whether we put our skills to use."

And, I suppose, he wasn't wrong. His team better mastered the blustery conditions and mood of attrition. The game's most dangerous performer, Drunn Deleks, stabbed in the opening goal in the 20th minute, thrusting out a leg to meet Josef Fersu's driven cross-shot. No marks for Colbourne's defending, by the way.

Rennidan opened a succession of chances during the game, but seemed to have trouble bringing them around to anything. In the 25th minute, Deleks seemed certain to go for his second goal as Macki Selks played a devious one-two to cause strife amongst the Colbourne defence. But, as Deleks struck the ball, his mind seemed to wander, and the shot went astray, clanging against the crossbar before going up-and-over for a goal kick. And it was here that things were obviously about to go wrong for our sweet Rennidanian team.

Rick Sutton launched the ball up field, targeting Julius Ibrahim, who started a surprising run through the once famed Rennidan defence. A quick tap of the ball to his left, and Dan Barret was suddenly steaming ahead, eyes locked firmly on the Rennidan net. A hefty left footed drive blasted the ball past inexperienced keeper Diar Twils, and suddenly, as halftime drew closer, it was 1-1.

A quick pit stop to the toilet and a refreshment of my beer meant I sat down just as the second half kicked off, and suddenly I realized I would probably have done better to have stayed at the bar a little longer. From the kickoff,
Macki Selks blasted into the Colbourne half to steal the ball from Derek Robinson. The young midfielder then seemed certain to go for gold and score, and no doubt he would have if it wasn't for Jim Brennan, who slid in with what was obviously a malicious tackle. Selks went down, and he went down hard. The medics rushed onto the pitch, but it was obvious to us in the stands that Selks World Cup run could very well be over. A few minutes later and we get the update that he had broken his tibia in four places. Forget tournament ending, he could be lucky if he ever plays as well as he did again.

However, every cloud has its silver lining, I suppose, and from Selks unfortunate exit came the chance of a 23 yard free kick. Up walks Drunn Deleks who, eager to make up for his previous missed chance earlier in the game, sets the ball up and takes four steps back. The crowd begins to stomp their feet in anticipation as he charges forwards. His foot smacks the ball and it flies like an eagle, soaring beautifully into the top right corner. Text book free kick and the crowd goes wild.

As the final seconds come to a close, the Rennidanian side gets overtly defensive, and badda-bing badda-boom, the Eagles have clinched their first win of the World Cup. Let's hope things stay on the up-and-up for the team of unknowns.



MD1: vs. Colbourne 2-1
MD2: @ Universitus University
MD3: @ Candelaria And Marquez
MD4: @ Cafundéu
MD5: vs. Land de Wood
MD6: vs. Saturday Sport
MD7: @ Cassadaigua
MD8: @ Colbourne
MD9: vs. Universitus University
MD10: vs. Candelaria And Marquez
MD11: vs. Cafundéu
MD12: @ Land de Wood
MD13: @ Saturday Sport
MD14: vs. Cassadaigua


_________

I am not, as many have no doubt guessed, a very sane human being. But, as you can understand, it is not entirely my fault. For starters, I am the manager of an international football team who has had a rollercoaster of a career. Secondly, I should have died in a fiery inferno with my crack head girlfriend, unborn child and dozens of friends and teammates.

I didn't die.

That is glaringly obvious. But what did happen, however, is that I broke. I am but a broken human being who has been put in charge of a nation's pride and glory.

So imagine my discomfort as I sit in the limousine leaving the Eagle's Nest Stadium after a 2-1 win with some cheap waitress looking to make a name for herself sat on my lap.

It's times like this when I think perhaps the drinking is a bad thing.

I end up just dropping her off back at her place, her sadness evident by the puppy dog eyes and the begging. Fame is just too much for some people.

I end up going back to my place alone, only good ol' Mister J. Daniels and a cold glass to keep me company. I end up reviewing the tapes of the game, seeing where we failed. I end up putting Selks tournament-ending injury on loop, and giggling to myself like a little girl over the hilarity of the bones sticking out of his leg.

As I said, I'm broken.

But that doesn't stop broken bones from being funny, right?

Miroxian Sports Inquirer

Mountain Goats Draw In MD1


The Mountain Goats boarded a plane flying quietly towards Liventia last week, awaking last night with determination in their voices and high spirits! That's right, Miroxia, the Mountain Goats are back from a hopeless WC37, and they're already better than ever! In the first game of the qualifiers, Miroxia tied it up 1-1 against the Liventian national team. But how will the team handle against other teams like Milchama who are way better? We don't know! Practice? Sure, let's go with that.

The Mountain Goats took to the field in Orean, Liventia, away from home, hoping to win. The team looked good for the first 15 minutes, but got a lucky break-through when striker Edward Aztec ran past four Liventian men and scored, but just barely and in the 18th minute! It was tipped by the goalie, but that was thought to help us not them. However, Miroxia was forced back into their half for the rest of the game. Defense was on our side, however, for the only score for the Liventian opponents was by Colin Marshall in a penalty kick in the 76th minute.

With the scores now equal, Miroxia needed a quick score. Defense Vincent Gay, Jr. did get cocky, left his position, and almost scored. It was close, but it was blocked by the goal, then thrown to Liventian players. Then they almost scored because of our lack of defense, but GK Ron Quincy-Art had an impressive save. The game ended 1-1.

Miroxia will soon board a plane and head for Quakmybush, who is just coming off a 3-0 victory against Magnus Valerius. The people in Miroxia are praying our team will be victorious, seeing how hard they are working to become great, but, if they tried, it's all we can ask! Be sure to buy our next issue for details on WCMD2!

Arrozan Ministry Of Sport > National Teams > Soccer > World Cup 43

Quick News:

Arroza statrtd their world cup 43 Qualifying at Government Park on Saturday, with the Tar hornets putting on a clinic against The Macabees. It was a complete reversal of the friendly match against Secristan which has been plagued with the rumors that the Arrozans threw the game in order to attan a supply of much needed currency before having to fly around the world for the world cup.

The youth movement served the team well, as the new defensemen didn't let in any goals, and the rookies on attack, hooked up well with star Martin Lancaster, withrokuro Opelike producing 2 assists and Revy Viades scoring twice. Attendance was 18,429. With the win, Arroza has moved up 11 points from their pre-qualifying ranking to 47th in the new IFA poll. Now it's on to Bostopia, where a draw would be a incredible result.

Goals: Viades (47,63), Lancaster (80)
Assists: Opelika (2), Parrish
Cards: Viades (Yellow), Terra (Yellow)

Schedule:

Friendly: @ Secristan (0-1)
MD1: The Macabees (3-0)
MD2: @ Bostopia
MD3: Kjomasasopia
MD4: @ Islands of Qutar
MD5: Vilitek
MD6: @ Bazalonia
MD7: Jeru F.C. - @ Costa Norte, Seclusion Coast
MD8: @ The Macabees
MD9: Bostopia
MD10: @ Kjomasasopia
MD11: Islands of Qutar
MD12: @ Vilitek
MD13: Bazalonia
MD14: @ Jeru F.C.
Post Qual Friendly: Nethertopia

A Rennidanian Guide To: Viltek

Hello. Welcome. You have no doubt purchased this book for one of two reasons: 1) You're an international football club who is set to face Viltek and you want to figure out just what the heck is happening in this fine nation or 2) Your plane has been shot down in Viltek and you are now struggling to survive against the Vilteki nomads.

No matter which one you are, one thing needs to be made clear:

You're boned.

Now, I don't mean to say that you, if you are from option 1), will have trouble beating Viltek at football. On the contrary, you will no doubt slaughter them. The unfortunate thing here is the fact that, after the game, they are probably more likely to slaughter you.

A little known fact is that cannibalism is the number one sport in Viltek, followed closely by ground-to-air missile shooting, football, and extreme Frisbee. If you are playing away at Viltek, you are more than likely to encounter the majority of the above activates.

In this first segment, we will attempt to provide you with some basic manners you need to know when arriving in Viltek.

Do:

Accept the offer of the ceremonial finger foods. (Caution: May be real fingers).
Agree to dance with one of their 'prettier' women if the offer arises.
Be very, very careful.


Don't:

Bow to anyone. This is seen as an offer for the person to cut off your head and eat its juicy innards.
Speak in your native tongue around Vilteki people. It offends them and can be seen as an offer of disembowelment.
Use anything electronic around Vilteki people. They may think you're the devil.
Agree to 'shetzebar'. It basically means 'the mutual eating of one another'.
Stare.
Do the robot.
Touch anything that looks slightly important.


Keep to this advice and, who knows, you might just leave Viltek in one whole piece!

100!!

For Newmanistan, matchday two isn’t just another game day. While the game is important, it is not the fact that we are welcoming Starblaydia to the Empire for what is a very important fixture that makes it so. It is a symbolic date for the entire history of Newmanistanian interregional football. It is the official 100th cap for coach Brian Carson and key defender Jeremy Brooker. Jeremy McAllister, our goal scoring legend, is at 101. Now, Newmanistan has a total of more then 100 games played. There have been games coached by Eric Andrews and James Martin in the Oxen Cups, but they have played a smaller role. Brian Carson has been the leader at the start, has overcome tough times, and made Newmanistan a championship squad. The Empire has won three football championships under Carson: The 4th Di Bradini Cup, in Starblaydia. The 27th Baptism of Fire, in Starblaydia. And the 34th Cup of Harmony, Not in Starblaydia. Additionally, Carson has led the Rockets to two other finals, the 5th and 6th Di Bradini Cups. In Starblaydia. Now, it’s Carson’s 100th game, and you can’t just admire the irony at the game’s opponent. Starblaydia. You just couldn’t script this any better, except maybe for it to have been in Starblaydia. But no, this is game 100. It belongs in Newmanistan. The backstory is great especially when you consider this is the first meeting that mattered between the nations, it makes it even more special.

We want to take you now to the pre-game festivities of this very special occasion, which is at Pocono City Stadium, home of Carson’s domestic side, the Pocono City Capitals. So now, to Pocono City Stadium, we go......................


PA ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Pocono City Stadium for tonight’s game between Yooooooooooooooooour Newmanistan Rockets and the Purple Peril of Starblaydia. Tonight is a special occasion, and I ask for you now to all please rise as Empress Jessica is escorted to the podium. (The Empress comes to the podium, amid mostly cheers)

Empress: Welcome everyone, it’s great to see another full house for a World Cup qualifying game right here in Pocono City! (applause) First, let me say thank you to the Starblaydi national team for their patience for this momentary delay to the start of the action. (Pauses)
It seems like a long time ago when we decided to bring Newmanistan to the world scene of football, and even though we have not yet qualified for a World Cup, it has been a success. We have won a under-21 trophy, a Baptism of Fire trophy, and a Cup of Harmony trophy, and there was one man who was the leader on the sideline for all of them. Through all the trials and tribulations, the successes and failures, one man has been the leader. Now, that man is about to coach his 100th interregional game. That man is Brian Carson. Brian, come up here! (A pause as Brian comes up to the podium to join the Empress).

Brian, in honor of your achievement, I present to you this, a key to the Royal Palace! (Cheers in stands, Carson takes key). Also, I would like to present to you this commemorative plaque to honor this wonderful accomplishment. We play football in an era where coaches can seem to be disposable. But Brian has responded to all challenges! Brian, congratulations. (The Empress steps down from the podium, allowing Carson the chance to speak amid chants of Car-son, Car-son, from the stands)

Carson: Thank you, Your Highness. I am honored for the gifts, and hope to bring you all a World Cup Proper apperance! I must thank the Empress for the opportunity, and not firing me after Cup of Harmony 33! (Grins at the Empress who waves in return). We’ve had highs, we’ve had lows. We’ve had things we need to overcome. When faced with adversity, we have stood up the challenge and took it on! Next step, is the challenge of Starblaydia because we have a draw we need to overcome right now!! Fans, I want to ask you a favor. You only have to do this once, and right now. Getting to game one hundred only makes you remember game one that much more. We were in Starblaydia that day, and we weren’t brushed aside to the back in favor of more experienced nations. We were treated with the same high level of success, and have always been welcomed and treated well in Starblaydia. We have a big game here right now, but I would like everyone right now to stand up, and applaud the Starblaydi national team to return the favor. (Pauses, as the majority of the fans give the ovation). Ok, now I know they, and most of our team too just wants to get to playing, but there are two players we need to recognize here today. First Jeremy Brooker! Today is also Brooker’s 100th cap. Come on up, Brooks. (Brooker is applauded as he approaches the podium).

Brooker: Thanks coach, thanks everyone. It’s quite an honor to have played this many games representing my country. It’s always very special to me. Thank you! (Brooker is applauded again as he steps down, Carson returns to podium).

Carson: Our next guy is technically at 101 today, but who’s counting. In those 101 games, he has tallied 77 goals. Of course, I am referring to J-Mac! Jeremy McAllister, come on up! (McAllister receives a loud ovation to chants of J-Mac! J-Mac!)

McAllister: Thank you! (Fans take a moment to quiet down) Thank you! I want to thank everyone for their support. It’s great that we are here today and playing Starblaydia, because it was a brief talk that I had with the great Simeone Di Bradini when I was just a teenager that really inspired me. He passed away not that much longer after, and I was so grateful for that chance. At that moment, I wanted to be like him. I’m still trying. If he’s watching from up above, or somewhere in the Dreamed Realm, thank you Simeone. Thank you Starblaydia, and most of all, thank you Newmanistan. Now let’s go get three points!!! (loud cheers as J-Mac steps down).

Carson: I couldn’t agree more!

(Carson follows McAllister off the podium, and they go to the sideline. The podium is removed from the pitch, and the players hit the field, and get set to play the game.)

Bushdome Times

3-1, and fan trouble too!

Bushdome lost in their first world cup game against Prux, the score was 3-1. With Shuck scoring the only Bushdome goal. Although we played well, the Prux team was somthing else. "Mental, they just kept running, superhuman" said one shocked Bushdome fan after the match commenting on the opposition. After the early goal which put us in the lead, we let things slip, but it still was a great performance from both teams. Again the actuall match is in the shadow of the chaos caused by Bushdome fans, after losing the game, fans went from the stadium and into retail area's. The fans first attacked a kebab shop, where a bin was thrown through the front window causing damage to the counter aswell. The fans went from there to harrass and attack the public and any one around them. The night ended for the fans when they brutally attacked a bus driver, stole his hat and smashed up his bus. The driver was found badly beaten in an alley where he was left for dead, the BFA (Bushdome football acosiation) had this to say, "These men are not fans, but merly thugs, thugs with passports." They seem to be taking no actions in preventing or punishing these acts of violence.

It was the first sellout in the history of the ground now known as Panuul Field. A sizable portion of the population of Cimnersog (total population: about 10,930) was in attendance, as well as a smattering of fans from Panuul's other town, Healfat, about 300 km away as the crow flies, but about 600 by car, as that crow would be flying over quite a bit of water.

And the crowd was as loud as 1,548 people can be (the local fire marshal was none too pleased at the crowd being over capacity) when Denosone Gackbang scored the first goal to give Panuul a one-nil lead over Docky.

Granted, it wouldn't last, and the score was two-all when the final whistle came. But that still sparked great celebration from those in attendance, as Panuul had gained its first ever point, and in its first ever match to boot!

And when it was all over, the players were all taken out to eat at Cimnersog's finest restaurant. Sure, it's only a two-star establishment by the big city standards of (the rest of) Vephrall, but that didn't matter. Expensive food wasn't what this was all about. It was the thrill of competition, and the sense of unity that the players got when they donned the simple white shirts and blue shorts that served as the trademark of Panuul on the international stage. The white and gold down south could keep their flashiness, as could the Kura-Pellandis out west. This was so much more real.

“Explain it to me again.” Sentor asked Harold Denningson (his Minister for Empirical Affairs), who was sat with him in the Prime Minister's office.

“Basically, the Emperor's laid up in hospital -”

“And I'm in charge.” Sentor added.

“Yes – because he decided he'd toboggan around the Castle, and managed to go through the door in the security room and crashed into the wall.”

“Right through the door, you say?”

“Right through the door.”

Sentor sighed. Being in charge of Bostopia was one of his dreams he'd fulfilled (the Empire didn't yet spread to Vladmiristak, and thereby the whole region, but someday it would, and he wouldn't rest well in his grave if it didn't happen in his lifetime), but taking over while the Emperor was incapacitated due to an indoors-tobogganing accident didn't quite have the glamour he was going for.

He pushed his hands up his face and into his hair, before letting out an “ugh”-sound and softly shaking his head.

“Ok.” Another sigh. “What's going on in the provinces?”

“Well, remember that *some* of the populations were getting – shall we say; uppity – about not having any national sporting teams to watch?”

“They had the province championships.” Sentor noted.

“Officially called the Bostopian Nations Cup.” Denningson retorted (you never knew who was bugging who around here). “And the Home Isles swept the board, with East Isle beating West Isle 4 – 2 in the final.”

“Yes, it was a shame those Laquaris got involved and caused that crowd trouble, wasn't it?” Sentor said with a knowing grin.

“Of course. Well, the territories of the Empire still weren't quite satisfied, so they decided they'd form a team.”

“They formed a team?”

“Yes, and brought in a player from FIDA Isle.”

“What?” Sentor was enraged. “FIDA Isle is treated as one of the Home Isles!”

“True, but apparently the lad was born at the wrong time, so while being a brilliant talent, didn't get into the team because of Collick's “master plan” – which does seem to be going well – for developing youth.”

“So?”

“Well, what's more pressing is that this lot managed to gain recognition from the World Cup Committee and got themselves into qualification for World Cup 43.”

“Left-wing sods! Trying to undermine the bloody Empire of the Confederate States by saying the Empire of the Confederate States is a separate entity to the rest of Bostopia!”

“Technically, Alan, it is, it is ruled separately and rather autonomously from ourselves.”

“Oh stuff off, you don't believe that for a second!”

“Don't let yourself believe that you believe we're all-powerful, Alan! We both know that's a massive understatement, the work of the Governors has saved us from many an uprising!”

Sentor thought for a moment, and took a drink of water from the plastic cup on his desk.

“So what to do about this team?”

“Considering they drew two-all already with Newmanistan, and that we're peeved off at Kjomasasopia for pulling out the Rugball – the Rugball Association is demanding they not be let into the country – it'd be stupid if we pulled them out.”

“What name are they playing under?” Sentor inquired.

“The Bostopian Empire. Maybe the Adorosians in charge – where they're playing their home games also, coincidentally - thought we'd be more approving if they took their official name.”

“Hm.. I suppose we should let them continue then. Might give the provinces something to do other than plot freedom.”

“A wise choice I think.”

---FIXTURES---

MD01: The Bostopian Empire -v- Newmanistan - National Field, Adoros (64,745)
MD02: The Bostopian Empire -v- Dancougar - National Field, Adoros (64,745)
MD03: The Bostopian Empire -v- Glaycia - National Field, Adoros (64,745)
MD04: Starblaydia -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD05: The Bostopian Empire -v- Myedvedeya - National Field, Adoros (64,745)
MD06: The Bostopian Empire -v- Lovisa - National Field, Adoros (64,745)
MD07: The Bostopian Empire -v- Alversia - National Field, Adoros (64,745)
MD08: Newmanistan -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD09: Dancougar -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD10: Glaycia -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD11: The Bostopian Empire -v- Starblaydia - National Field, Adoros (64,745)
MD12: Myedvedeya -v- The Bostopian Empire - Pyotroveskovlad Imperial Dome, Myedvedeya
MD13: Lovisa -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD14: Alversia -v- The Bostopian Empire

The Football Association today officially released the list of stadia to be used during Bostopia's home games during Qualification for World Cup 43.

We apologise for the delay, but problems securing a stadium for the seventh home tie meant publication of the list was set back.

MD01: Bostopia -v- Jeru FC - Bostopia Stadium, Fort Boston (103,499)
MD02: Bostopia -v- Arroza - Field Way, Osling (34,000)
MD03: Bostopia -v- The Macabees - Ortega Field, Henrikstad (47,000)
MD04: Kjomasasopia -v- Bostopia
MD05: Bostopia -v- The Islands of Qutar - Brian Marne Stadium, Rolida (37,000)
MD06: Bostopia -v- Viltek - Copsequay Stadium, Fenton (41,000)
MD07: Bostopia -v- Bazalonia - Bostopia Stadium, Fort Boston (103,499)
MD08: Jeru FC -v- Bostopia
MD09: Arroza -v- Bostopia
MD10: The Macabees -v- Bostopia
MD11: Bostopia -v- Kjomasasopia - TBA
MD12: The Islands of Qutar -v- Bostopia
MD13: Viltek -v- Bostopia
MD14: Bazalonia -v- Bostopia

Myedvedeya Pregame
(82)Myedvedeya VS (123)Alversia

MD1: Myedvedeya 1-3 Lovisa
MD2: Myedvedeya VS Alversia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD3: Myedvedeya @ Newmanistan
MD4: Myedvedeya VS Dancougar (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD5: Myedvedeya @ The Bostopian Empire
MD6: Myedvedeya VS Starblaydia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD7: Myedvedeya VS Glaycia (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD8: Myedvedeya VS Lovisa (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD9: Myedvedeya @ Alversia
MD10: Myedvedeya VS Newmanistan (Krakovsky Stadion, Moskva)
MD11: Myedvedeya @ Dancougar
MD12: Myedvedeya VS The Bostopian Empire (Pyotroveskovlad Imperial Dome)
MD13: Myedvedeya @ Starblaydia
MD14: Myedvedeya @ Glaciya

The Myedvedeyan International Football Squad, after a painful 3-1 defeat at Lovisa, will have the pleasure of hosting rank 123 Alversia, in their second qualifier. Alversia's first match was a tough one, aganst #7 Starblaydia, and they were beaten 2-0 by the squad from the land of the Di Bradinis. Nevertheless, Myedvedeyans strongly believe that their Baptism of Fire-winning squad will be more than up to the challenge from Alversia.

"We both lost yesterday, but we have forty places in the rankings on them, and we just won the baptism of fire." Said Captain Nikolai Dolohov. "We can definitely improve on yesterday's play, and a completely untested young team is just the opponent we need to get our confidence back."

The Kamchatka Grizzly Bears squad will hope to play their standard attacking football against Alversia, in the hopes of defeating them through speed and ground skills. The Myedvedeyans defeated many young teams earlier this year, going undefeated on the way to winning the 30th Baptism of Fire, and they feel that this type of strategy is likely to remain effective.

The attack is centered around the midfield of Barabanschikov, Markov, Dolohov, and Ulyanov, who play a quick, ground based style, in the hope of getting the ball to lightning-fast forwards Vorotaev and Rozhdestvensky. Myedvedeya's defense is generally a weaker point, but it is very well anchored by keeper Boris Bykovsky, and does not have issues very often.

"The difference between us and Alversia" Said defender Maksim Korotkaiev, "Is that we have much more experience together as a team. Alversia did not participate in the Oxen Cup or the Baptism of Fire, so this is their second game together. For us, it's at least the fifteenth. This gives us a rhythm and cohesion that simply can't be found without experience."

Alversia will be making the trip to the infamous 220,000 seat Krakovsky Stadion in Moskva, and should bring their long-sleeved jerseys, as today's weather forecast calls for temperatures of -4 Celsius (about 25 Fahrenheit), with scattered snow showers and winds up to 45 kilometers per hour. Nevertheless, expect a full stadium, with 200,000 Myedvedeyans wrapped up in their furs, and bears wrapped up in... nothing. Hot beverages are available at games, but don't kid yourself into thinking they'll make the wind any more pleasant. We at Novy Moskva urge you to dress properly for Myedvedeyan temperatures before going to any football match.

Prince Bagration's roster for today's match will be:

#28 Vorotaev #9 Rozhdestvensky

#8 Barabanschikov #4 Markov #13(C) Dolohov #7 Ulyanov

#5 Romasko #3 Preminin #27 Mizin #10 Korotkaiev

#1 Bykovsky




for more sports news, log on to www.novymoskva.mye/WC43

IT'S...

THE WORLD CUP SHOW


With Basil and Theo


"Arrr, Basil me lad, it's a fine day's footballing out there at the Hippodrome tonight, I'll be telling ye."

"Arrrr, Theo, with the pirates of Tortuga y Hispaniola visiting these here shores for the first - and possibly last - time, many Imperial citizens are a celebratin' by wearing an eyepatch."

"Arrrr, and I'll be bringing me parrot here into the studio at half time."

"Arrr, and I've gone and sawn me leg off and put on a peg leg."

"I say, Basil old chap, that was a bit drastic, don't you think?"

"Not to worry, old bean, I'll grow a new one."

"So you will. Anyway... Arrrrrr......"

"Arrrrrrrr....."

"Arrrrrr.... there's a rumour out there that the piratical visitors will be given a vast treasure of fifty gold dubloons each should they beat us landlubbers here tonight."

"'Tis a prize to be playin' for, Theo. Let's hope they don't bury their treasure in the centre circle."

"I be tellin' ye, our entire squad should be walking the plank should they lose to this lot."

"Arrrrrr.... t'would be a shamin' scoreline that, that's to be sure."


<89 minutes later>


"And with the clock running down, it's 1-1, with the Holy Empire coming back from a shock first half deficit thanks to shock new star Urkes' first ever professional goal. Basil?"

"It still looks like a humiliating scoreline against the pirate no-hopers, Theo. One-all in a home opener. I shudder to think what this means for the qualifying campaign..."

"With seconds left, Urkes takes the ball just inside the visitor's half. He skips over one opponent's peg leg.... weaves past a one-eyed drunk.... narrowly avoids the cruel hooked hand of a defender in an outlandishly silly hat...

"Outlandish even by our standards, Theo...."

"Spins past a barrel of rum, shoots low.... AND GOAL FOR URKES!!!! THE GREEN-SKINNED NEW BOY IS THE HERO OF THE HOUR! REMEMBER THE NAME - URKO URKES!!!!"

"Surely it doesn't take too much to dribble past a peg-legged midfielder, a one-eyed drunk and a barrel of rum, Theo?"

"Which is no doubt why we needed a 90th-minute winner, Basil."

"Ah well. Stranger things happen in the Dreamed Realm every day...."

Shortly after the Archregimancy's 3-0 friendly victory over Nethertopia, the crowds begin to gather at the Grand Lavra for the enthronement ceremony of Fr. Polycarp the Venerable as First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee...

http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/916/50339594.JPG


The officiating monk begins to speak...

Priest:
No one bound by worldly desires and pleasures is worthy to approach, draw near or minister to You, the King of glory. To serve You is great and awesome even for the heavenly powers. But because of Your ineffable and immeasurable love for us, You became man without alteration or change. You have served as our High Priest, and as Lord of all, and have entrusted to us the celebration of this liturgical sacrifice without the shedding of blood. For You alone, Lord our God, rule over all things in heaven and on earth. You are seated on the throne of the Cherubim, the Lord of the Seraphim and the King of Israel. You alone are holy and dwell among Your saints. You alone are good and ready to hear. Therefore, I implore You, look upon Polycarp, Your sinful and unworthy servant, and cleanse his soul and heart from evil consciousness. Enable him by the power of Your Holy Spirit so that, vested with the title of First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee, he may stand before Your holy Table and celebrate the mystery of Your holy and pure Body and Your precious Blood. To You I commend him with bowed head and pray: do not turn Your face away from him or reject him from among Your children, but make him, Your sinful and unworthy servant, worthy to offer to You these gifts. For You, Christ our God, are the Offerer and the Offered, the One who receives and is distributed, and to You we give glory, together with Your eternal Father and Your holy, good and life giving Spirit, now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.

The congregation enter the Katholikon of the Grand Lavra

(the officiating monk censes and recites in a low voice)

Priest:
Again, we bow before You and pray to You, O good and loving God. Hear our supplication: cleanse our souls and bodies from every defilement of flesh and spirit, and grant that we may stand before Your holy altar without blame or condemnation. Grant also, O God, progress in life, faith, and spiritual discernment to the faithful who pray with us, so that they may always worship You with reverence and love, partake of Your Holy Mysteries without blame or condemnation, and become worthy of Your heavenly kingdom.

(Polycarp steps forward and sits on the throne of the First Hierarch)

Polycarp:
Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your great mercy; and according to the multitude of Your compassion, blot out my transgression. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my iniquity, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done evil in Your sight, that You may be found just when You speak, and victorious when You are judged. For behold, I was conceived in iniquity, and in sin my mother bore me. For behold, You have loved truth; You have made known to me the secret and hidden thing of Your wisdom. you shall sprinkle me with hyssop, and I shall be made clean; You shall wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, that the afflicted bones may rejoice. Turn Your face away from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and establish me with Your governing Spirit. I shall teach transgressors Your ways, and the ungodly shall turn back to You. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall joyfully declare Your righteousness. Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall proclaim Your praise. For if You had desired sacrifice, I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offerings. A sacrifice to God is a broken spirit; God will not despise a broken and a humbled heart.

(The congregation then recite together)

The monks:
I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all ages. Light of Light, true God of true God, begotten, not created, of one essence with the Father, through whom all things were made.

For us and for our salvation, He came down from heaven and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary and became man.

He was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and He suffered and was buried.

On the third day He rose according to the Scriptures.

He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead. His kingdom will have no end.

And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of Life, who proceeds from the Father, who together with the Father and the Son is worshiped and glorified, who spoke through the prophets.

In one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church.

I acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.

I expect the resurrection of the dead.

And the life of the age to come. Amen.


(The officiating monk then recites in a low voice)

Priest:
We thank You, loving Master, benefactor of our souls, that on this day You have made us worthy once again of Your heavenly and immortal Mysteries. Direct your servant Polycarp's ways in the right path, establish him firmly in Your fear, guard his life, and make his endeavors as First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee safe, through the prayers and supplications of the glorious Theotokos and ever virgin Mary and of all Your saints.

May the blessing of the Lord and His mercy come upon you through His divine grace and love always, now and forever and to the ages of ages.


DEAR BROTHERS IN CHRIST, I NOW PRESENT TO YOU THE DULY ENTHRONED AND BLESSED FIRST HIERARCH OF THE WORLD CUP COMMITTEE, FR. POLYCARP THE VENERABLE!!!

http://www.ocadow.org/images/events/2007_spec_assemb/liturgy_4_b.jpg





<later>

"Successful mission, I'd say."

"So now what, Fr. Raphael?"

"Fr. Anthony's taking the squad to Sorthern Northland to play the militant atheists."

"And...?"

"Well, with God's blessing, we're now a top five-ranked nation. Even playing away we should win easily, Fr. Alexander."

"And if we don't?"

"If we don't, my brother, I'll personally wash all of the monastery dishes this week...."


ooc - yes, I know MD 1's already over. I'm just a little behind the timeline....

"That was rather disappointing." Bob Smit, 44 and accountant lifted himself from his chair. His neighbour, Sjon Hagenees, 47 and construction worker, started to curse at the referee, the Falcons, the Valetaland National Team, the field, Trevor Organ, The Scout and finally the Valetalandese food. His rant took over three minutes.
Bob looked rather astonished. "That's a way to say it as well..."

"I've played 60 Golden Sovereigns for this match, another 320 for a flight to this God forsaken place an to get back, and at last 200 Sovereigns for the hotel. This wasn't worth it! I mean, we were swooped from the fields here!"

"I know Sjon, i've payed the same for it. We're all a bit disappointed."

"Those guys aren't even in the top 100! This is outrageous, what the Falcons have done here!"

"Just let it go, Sjon. Mind your blood pressure. A night in the hospitals here won't make the trip any cheaper than it is already."

"Hmpf. Somebody should sack The Scout. He's not performing in what Nethertopia should perform."

"That's not true! The Scout is getting the best out of his man!"

"Oh yeah? Than why did he lose four times in a row?"

"Two of those matches were against the top of the world. And Candelaria And Marquez is not a small fish in the pound either. I mean, I know we should have won the derby against them, but it just didn't happen."

"And this game, huh?"

"Bad luck. I mean, the referee gave Gregory a red card he doesn't deserve, with that penalty. I mean, it was clearly a foul, but that wasn't worth a card."

"Maybe you're right... We weren't able to get grip after that. I mean, which team would be able to play another 70 minutes with ten men?"

"Let's go to our hotel, man. Have another drink."

"Yeah, a beer would go in fine, right now. Let's forget this game as quickly as possible."

A crowd of around 1,100 gathered on an artificial island off the coast of Cardim. And you could probably hear the roar in Cardim itself when David Highfield headed in a Billy Bowden cross to give Saturday Sport - 'not a real country' - a ridiculous 1-0 lead in the ninth minute.

Then Cafundeu actually started trying. Four goals in twelve minutes and then they just played keep-ball for most of the rest of the match. Most ships nearby headed back to port by the time Highfield added his second in the 85th minute - by then Cafundeu had scored twice more, one of them a 40-yard shot.

Saturday Sport are now unofficially the second worst team in the world. That's harsh on the team below them.

"Wait... We won?"

"Yessir, we did," replied Harrington. Professor Douglas had been sleeping for most of the match and brother Jeffrey had to wake him up.

"We... Won..." The professor pulled a face. "That's kind of... Weird, isn't it?"

"Yessir, it is," replied Harrington.

"Those guys have a much better ranking than us, don't they?"

"Yessir, they do."

"And you are 100% positive that we won?"

"Yessir."

"Bloody monkeys," replied the professor, just before taking another nap.

Dancougar News!!
Pizza Hut supports the rebellion. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_Geass#Corporate_sponsorship)

Matchday two preview: @ The Bostopian Empire (0-1-0): You might say that both teams got off to the right start. The upstart Empire drew 2-2 at home to Newmanistan, while the Black Wings thumped Glaycia at home 5-1. The question tonight will be which side gets to keep their momentum going. The Black Wings will no doubt want to have six points heading into their clash with group favorites Starblaydia.

This isn't the first time the Wings have traveled abroad to a politically-charged atmosphere. They faced a Free Krytenia team during World Cup 41 qualification that found itself in a tighter spot that the Empire is right now, as apparently they've been given a blank check by the Bostopian government to just get on with it. The real question we'll all be asking in time is if free bread and gladiators will placate the Bostopian territories, or if international recognition in the sporting arena will serve to galvanize independence movements.

None of that concerns Solomon Bilbao. "A team like the Bostopian Empire is always dangerous because they have so much pride in themselves, not just as footballers, but as people," he said. "It's going to be difficult to just swoop in there and win points they firmly believe are theirs for the taking."

The Empire likes to attack with reckless abandon, and while it saw them lead the Rockets 2-0 at the break, they eventually lost the pace of the game and ceded the draw. But they have a strong stable of young attackers and veteran leadership in the form of midfielder Greg Craven, whose selection from Bostopia proper has been controversial. In order to deal with their attacking threat, the Black Wing midfield is going to have to contribute mightily to the defensive effort. Captain Kevin Underwood will have to succeed where his predecessor Jericho Leyton failed and be an effective marshaller of the defense.

All eyes will be on Shishio Jinguuji to see how he follows up his hat trick against Glaycia. He now needs five goals to tie Hideo Ikeda's all time mark, and with thirteen games to go, he's in a good position to get it done. Fellow forward Dan Potts praised Jinguuji after the opener, but one wonders how long he'll keep it up. Potts is an ambitious striker who wants to follow up his ten-goal effort during the last cycle with an equally strong performance.

One thing's for sure - this game will feature goals. The Wings could hit four goals again, but if they're not careful, so too will the Empire. Prediction: The Bostopian Empire 2, Dancougar 3. In a wide open game, the ability of Lyle Dylandy to pick out his forwards will be crucial. Look for him to set up goals with his crosses.

Rumor mill: Emperor Boston out of commission: Unverified reports have made their way to Dancougar News!! stating that part of the reason for The Bostopian Empire's sudden emergence and acceptance as an FA has to do with the incapacitation of the Bostopian emperor. The rumors state that Emperor Boston was severely injured while tobogganing around his castle grounds and subsequently crashing through a door.

"We've seen cases before of people passing through solid walls while exploring royal property," said correspondent Larry Kitu, "although doors normally need to be tackled with keys or by hopping backwards really fast while holding a rabbit." He later added that it might possible that the Emperor was searching for one of the secret stars.

Princess Erica was asked to comment, but we were sorry to learn that she was in another castle.

Dancougar Black Wings ranking update: It used to be that we had one ranking and that was that, and it would only be updated between major tournaments, and if you look at our body of work, our rankings for the past few tournaments have remained more or less stable in the mid-to-low twenties. Yes, we all know that KPB "works," but now we have others to play with just for kicks!

Even though the team avoided Top 25 foes in their non-confer... err, friendly schedule, Black Wing fans will be proud to note that the four-goal win over Glaycia was sufficient to earn them a rise in the computer rankings as well as a debut in the media poll from Green wombat. With the Bostopian Empire drawing Newmanistan, the defending Cup of Harmony champs, a win in the next game will not only prepare the team for Starblaydia, but it would also give their RPI a boost, if it existed.

KPB: 23
ILA: 18 (Prev: 22)
HEX: 12 (Prev: NR)

Purple Knights Stun Yafolonia and Bazor 2

Stunning, just stunning. A 3-1 win over the higher ranked Yafolnian team co-operatively run by Yafor 2 and Bazlonia. Wow just stunning. The Bazors are known for ascending pretty fast from the World Cup cellar to the next great team in football, but on Saturday a freezing cold day in the Snowstorm unshilded field would hinder there progress.

It started as a usual Taeshani hosted game does. A bitter opening snowstorm, and an away team goal. It was so snowy in the clips you cant even tell who scored. But for the later three goals it was quite obvious. the Bazor goalie wasnt used to the cold and as he lay freezing in the cold the mighty leg of Brian Ying Uing scored yet another hat trick in a qualifying game.

Free Slami Sandwich

In a stunning announcement the whole of Taeshan will get a free Salami sandwich from Dicks Mouthful's salami stores all around Taeshan. The Knights soccer team moved up with the biggest wins in Deahnjeiguk's BCS ranking system wiining the country a single Slami sandwich. But Dick announced that afterthe move he wants everone to feel his meat sliding down there throat. Hmmmmmmmm.

War!!!!

The fields of the many countries Taeshan and Qazox are attacking are full with blood. The allied forces are winning the war. It see,ms the Non Agression pact has worked to are advantage.

Shanvley Stadium was ready and sold out to its 96,000-plus capacity, and few matches in its history have been awaited more nervously. This is a team in transition, full of new faces, and Septentrionia are fierce opposition. In fact, some bookmakers had them as slight favourites, despite being away.

But it was youthful exuberance that proved hugely influential, with two debutants scoring the goals in a 3-1 win that left the crowd in raptures.

It was an own-goal from the more experienced Tommy Yuram-Wilson which opened the scoring in the 31st minute, however, although there was little he could do as his touch was in the act of a desperate goal-line clearance. But against an aging team - just two of the Septentrionian starters were under 28 - the Kura-Pellandis staged a rally late in the first half, and equalised courtesy of debutant Harry Oughton's 25-yard swerving half-volley. Quite the way for the teenager to make a statement to the world.

Septentrionia looked good at the start of the second half, but when Alain Bellemare hit the bar from a free-kick just before the hour it proved to be decisive. Almost immediately, Kura-Pelland broke away, and it was Oughton who eventually tucked the ball away past René Laviolette. From the moment the ball hit the bar, it took a fraction less than eleven seconds before it was in the other goal.

Soon afterwards, Norbert Fiero was replaced by young Prince Agunde, as the manager looked to inject some pace against a weary defence. It paid off brilliantly on 71 minutes as Agunde danced past three defenders before poking the ball into the bottom corner to secure the match. He promptly celebrated in acrobatic style, and actually landed awkwardly; he was himself substituted soon afterwards, but his brief cameo was a success, and he is expected to be fit for the next match.

The 3-1 win sent Kura-Pelland up five places on the new unofficial rankings table, run by a Daehanjeiguk organisation. The Han conglomerate Samseong have gifted the KPFA an oversized foam hand as a bizarre gift, and said foam hand is expected to appear soon in the National Sports Museum in Trilan.

<West Tobin Sawed; 1400, 02-11-43>


I don't know why Joe, God, Bhudda, or FR. POLYCARP THE VENERABLE, or some other supernatural being is still letting me live after the atrocity I helped commit at Jameson Mountain a couple of weeks ago. But thanks to either a quirk in the scheduling, conicidence or fate, My platoon was the only one to survive the bombing, due to simply being on patrol that night. While QNN, that half-truth puking network, was correct in the total of the military personell dying or injured, they vastly under reported the effect on the locals, as over 2500 died, not the 1000 QNN reported.

Why so many civilian deaths? Because the barracks were located in the center of the town. 2 of them bordering the town square and the other was next to the Catholic church. Due to indifference or idiocy or even a subtle intellegence, the idea of placing those barracks where they were, came from General Leist, who was either fortunately or unfortunately killed in the attack, depending on who you ask. The lone bright spot was, every one below the General was bumped up a rank, and now I'm in control of 2 platoons of about 1500 men. Back to the barracks, they were placed where they were to persuade the supposed terrorists from attacking them, but in a war like this, they can get collateral damage and blame it on us.

I'm glad that I'm a major now, as my death would allow my wife and 2-year old daughter more money on my insurance policy. My sqaudron commander, Colonel Green has decided to stay in the area for the time being to "hunt down those bastards." Great, just what we need to do, kill more civilians in order to get to a handful of them who decide to bushwack us, as their military is unable, or unwilling to fight back.

Major Brian Chalmers

---Fort Boston Castle, Fort Boston---

Channel 9 News reporter Freya Wale is stood inside the reception area of the Castle, while various persons milled around from place to place behind her.

“Thanks Greg. Yes, I'm here with Charlotte Vale, a spokeswoman for the Royal Family. Charlotte, what can you tell us about Dancougar claims that the Emperor was 'severely injured' in a tobogganing accident?”

“Well, we're absolutely appalled that any foreign nation could come out and attempt to – oh, sorry” Charlotte and Freya both stepped aside for a moment so that persons carrying various shattered pieces of wood could come through “ - say that the Head of State of any other nation had been injured in any such way is remarkably despicable, especially when they can't prove anything.”

They both stepped aside again as someone walked through carrying plaques which clearly read “The Toboggan Company of Bostopia, Ltd” and “Security Office”.

“Thank you, Charlotte; now, back to Greg in the studio.”

“Well, we're absolutely appalled that any foreign nation could come out and attempt to – oh, sorry” Charlotte and Freya both stepped aside for a moment so that persons carrying various shattered pieces of wood could come through “ - say that the Head of State of any other nation had been injured in any such way is remarkably despicable, especially when they can't prove anything.”

"Hey, guys, guys, is this the proof we were looking for?!" The news intern runs up to the editor-in-chief of the Dancougar News!! clutching a crudely drawn comic of Emperor Boston toboganning across a snowy landscape with his imaginary - or IS HE?! - friend Jimmy Sheridan.

Panel 1: (Boston steers the toboggan down a steep hill.)
BOSTON: If you ask me, Jimmy, the entire concept of time is an inconvenience!

Panel 2: (The sled passes behind a large rock and tree. Jimmy faces forward as Boston speaks.)
BOSTON: Look how long it's taken me to become the emperor of this place! Practically forever! I have too many big plans to just sit around waiting.

Panel 3: (Boston turns to address Jimmy as they bounce over a snowbank.)
BOSTON: Time is only a comfortable simplification of the movement of objects through physical space! Why not speed up the process?

Panel 4: (Boston pumps his fist into the air and shouts at the oncoming wind.)
BOSTON: And science says that the arrow of time is likewise a lie! Yet why do we only look forward? It's always "Conquer new foes, face new dangers!"
JIMMY: You mean like that cliff over there?

Panel 5: (The sled takes flight, and both are dislodged in a spectacular crash.)

Panel 6: (Jimmy lies on the snow while Boston appears to be stuck in a tree.)
JIMMY: As slow as time progresses, it never seems slow enough.
BOSTON: The real problem is that it never flies by you; it hits you square in the face.

"... Does Bill Watterson know you did this?!"

Greal Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS (159) Vlaskin (4-2)
MD2: Greal VS (19) Demot
MD3: Greal VS (31) Krytenia
MD4: Greal VS (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD5: Greal VS (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD6: Greal VS (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD7: Greal VS (118) Dariusville
MD8: Greal VS (159) Vlaskin
MD9: Greal VS (19) Demot
MD10: Greal VS (31) Krytenia
MD11: Greal VS (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD12: Greal VS (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD13: Greal VS (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD14: Greal VS (118) Dariusville


Greal VS Demot Preview

After crushing Vlaskin, Greal has every reason to be optimistic of its match versus Demot. Demot may be ranked higher, but it had still tied with Krytenia in Match Day One. Ross Trent has said that Greal will be cautious in the next match, and not as aggressive, mostly defensive. Howard Anderson and Michael Istoma, Greal's two top scorers, will be allowed to score whenever they like. Greal spent all day in training sessions and preparing for the match against Demot. Greali Television reports that possibly three hundred million may view this match, which may turn out in any way.

Sebastian Expan, who was injured in the match against Vlaskin, will be replaced by James Petes, the famous player from team RIVERGREEN.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Jekyll and Nowhere to Hide
By Rami Niblick in Ousevale

NOT the triple-pointed start that the Aces were hoping on home turf, but certainly not a disaster. Adam Toivonen’s brand of fast, free-flowing football is winning over the neutrals, but it wasn’t quite enough to record a win over Demot, the score ending at two-all.

Leon Uriu deputized in the Krytenian goal for the suspended Garcia, and certainly found himself busy in the opening flurry, as Insaki Roma went close wit an early shot that whizzed past his near post, then Toni Flintus forced an excellent fingertip save from the Ellisham ‘keeper. Uriu, however, could do nothing about the Demot opener on eighteen minutes, as Flintus' shot took a wild deflection off Julian Woolliscroft which left the goalkeeper flailing in the wrong direction. The goal seemed to affect Krytenia even further, and they were lucky to still be just the single goal adrift after Michelle Graise was caught napping by Roma; however, the Demot striker snatched at his shot with only Uriu to beat and sent the ball blazing well over the bar.

Krytenia slowly clanked into life as the first half went on, and began to create a few chances – Kevin Breitenreiter forcing a solid save from Cianian Theros – but they were still well on the back foot, and only another top-drawer Uriu save denied Nikali Zubo. The Aces looked relieved when the half-time whistle eventually blew, and Adam Toivonen looked a far from happy man as he disappeared into the tunnel.

Whatever he had said to his team at half-time, it seemed to have some sort of effect. The men in the sky blue shirts came out and started the second half on a very positive note, having the best of the ball for the first time in the game. David Wolverton began to find his range with his crosses, with a Casper Smith header forcing a good save from Theros, and Graise nodding wide from a corner. Wolverton himself also tested the keeper with a long range effort. It was a major surprise, then, when Flintus beat the Krytenian offside trap and slotted the ball past Uriu, making the lead two-nil completely against the run of play.

Toivonen used his substitutions to roll the dice, taking Woolliscroft off and replacing him with striker Darren Scotland in a desperate attempt to get his side back in the game. The move, at first, succeeded only in unbalancing both sides games, and for a few minutes the match turned into a turgid midfield battle, before Scotland showed the advantage of fresh legs, showing Diana Readile a clean pair of heels before threading the ball in to Casper Smith for a simple finish. The match was set up for a grandstand finish, and by this point the momentum was with the home team. The equalizer was not long in coming. Once again, it was Scotland who made the running; this time setting up Breitenreiter with an over-the-shoulder ball, which the veteran forward knocked home sweetly. All the game was missing was a Scotland goal, and although he got the ball in the net a minute from time, it was disallowed, quite rightly, for offside.

It's an unusual match next, against the staunch Catholics of Magna Sancta Sedes. It may be a hard concept for a group of agnostics such as the Krytenians to grasp, but the MSS team will be, allegedly, representative of the Heavenly Host, with accompanying holy light and whatnot. Pack your shades.


Krytenia - 2
C Smith 77
Breitenreiter 80

Demot - 2
Woolliscroft (og) 18
Flintus 49

Tobias Raynor quietly snuck out of the darkened bedroom and strolled casually back to his own room. The twins had crashed out for the night, though he knew that it would only be a handful of hours before one of them would be up again and wanting to play. The boy, Kheleen Theraandar, was the more social and active of the two, but his sister, Faelynn Lirielle, had shown some artistic skill during their playtime in the past weeks. Parenthood had come quite naturally to the former Great Leader despite his trepidations and preconceptions. Perhaps it was because he was still a child himself, at least in regard to the elven life, that allowed him to make the transition soo seamlessly. Whatever the reason or the why, Tobias was pleased with it and cherished his twins, as did the entire nation.

Life in Valanora was as pleasant and as prosperous as it had even been, as Tobias' faith in the people of the countries was well placed. After his announcement of the barrier, and Elune's promise, the citizens became more invigorated and tranquil, causing a boom in all facets of industry and economic prosperity. It was as if all the troubles that had ever been the fall of the elven realm were now wiped away from the face of the universe. It was all too good to be true, but here it was happening before his eyes every day. Even his wife had overcome here own obstacles in taking the Great Leader seat, and in doing so, brought Valanora into a closer bond with a foreign nation.

Yet he knew it could not last forever, and he knew all too well that the moment his pager started vibrating, something was amiss. He had only given the number to a handful of individuals, and they were to only use it in the event of something bizarre happening. His sigh showed the sudden switch in moods as moved quickly and quietly through the mansion to his office. Despite him stepping down from power, he still held many of the governmental codes and information that he needed to act in emergency situations. Loading up his computer as fast as his processor would allow, he quickly checked his inbox to find a message waiting from a Colonel Whittaken.

Re: Dark Templara

Excuse me from interfering with your duties as a father milord, but as of 00:42 this morning, a massive amount of exiles appeared at the northwest checkpoint. Their numbers seem numberless, and they have sent an emissary demanding to engage in negotiations with the leader of the country. Although I trust in your wife, she has not yet had to face sever adversity such as what might be in store in this incident. It is because of this that I requesting your presence to help deal with the situation. I shall try to keep the exiles satiated until your arrival.

Sincerely,
Colonel Whittaken

West Zirconia's World Cup qualifying campaign got off to a winning start with a 2-0 victory over the United Island Empires at Mort Park.

The home side were keen to impress from the start, with Steve Griffiths forcing a save from the UIE goalkeeper after just 50 seconds. Anthony McGowan in particular was having an excellent game, with the opposing left wing no match for his pace.

Only the visiting goalkeeper was keeping the score 0-0, but even the best goalkeepers concede sometime. The sometime in this case being on 32 minutes, when a McGowan cross found the head of Martin Forster, leaving the UIE goalkeeper no chance.

The lead was almost doubled immediately afterwards, when Griffiths was fouled in the penalty area, resulting in the sending-off of the UIE defender responsible. However, the normally impeccable Ed French shot the resulting penalty against the crossbar, and it remained 1-0.

There was always going to be another goal, however, and it came just after the restart, when a goalmouth scramble following a corner eventually resulting in a point-blank goal by Ed French, to atone for his earlier mistake.

At 2-0 and a man up, Hazell took the opportunity to change things around, taking off McGowan and replacing him with local lad Andy Scott. In addition, Ryan Gregory replaced Lewis Fox. This had little effect on the way the game was played, but it did at least give two outstanding players a break, and two others a chance to prove themselves.

By this time, UIE had run out of ideas, and a further two bookings only served to demonstrate their frustration. 2-0 it remained at the end, a result which must have pleased Hazell and his squad. However, the real test comes next with a difficult trip to Tynelia.

West Zirconia: Gray, Phillips(c), Fox (Gregory 65), Munro, Paterson, Hawthorne, Williams, French, McGowan (Scott 65), Forster, Griffiths.

Goals: Forster (32), French (48).

Demot Daily ~ Rock and Roll

It's another wacky few days in here Atlantian Oceania as the Qualification for World Cup Forty-Three has begun. with eighty nations around the globe, and elsewhere, fight for the thirty slots up for grabs to travel to Valanora or Vephrall. Demot, while having an nearly unblemished qualifying campaign in forty-two, was looking to avoid their typical slow starts in qualifying action with a tricky away tie in Krytenia. The sides met twice last year in the AOCAF, with a draw and a loss for the Dynamo being the verdict. With only four fixtures between the sides in all competitions, the Aces are bit of an unknown side for the Demotians, and the final score would show that.

After hosting a fiesty Golden Wolves side from Yafor 2, and defeating them in fine fashion, confidence was high for the Dynamo. That confidence would translate into pressure, which the veteran Flintus would convert into a goal thanks to an absolute screamer of a defelection off of Krytenia's Woolliscroft. Theros was kept fairly unchallanged, but did have to come up with a key save late in the half to keep the lead heading into the break. Renário was clearly pleased with the side and it was all smiles and pats on the back as they headed into dressing room.

For all the talk about the changes that the line up had under gone, it was pleasing to see how Zubo was responding. He got the Man of the Match award against a suprising all-male side from the Yaforites with his two assists, as well as assisting the strikers in putting pressure on what appeared to be a shaky backline of the Sky Blues. Fortunes were then even more enriched when the two connected early in the second half to double the Dyanmo's lead, though some would argue that it was against the run of play. However the hosts were not about to go down without a fight, and through some risky tactical adjustments, the tide began to turn in their favor, ultimately culminating in two goals in three minutes late in the period as the legs of the defenders began to get heavy.

Normally a point away from home is a good start for this side, but the bit of weakness that the draw exposed on the side now even has the upstart Greal side thinking they can pull an upset and further set this qualification campaign in reverse. Renário is going to have to settle down his boys and girls, and get them to focus on what is already shaping up to be an important juncture in the qualifying process. The atmosphere is going to be a hectic one as Masteron Stadium will be hosting its' first international match, with the earlier friendly having taken place at Skyhaven Citadel. As if the nerves of the players weren't edgy enough, having to open up the brand new national stadium named in honor of the hero who made Demot a powerhouse, it could be creating the perfect enviroment for the Greali to strike. This is where the club's leaders will need to assert their authority and ground this side, if that can be achieved, three points should come easy.

Schedule
PQF: Demot-Yafor 2 2-1
MD1: Krytenia-Demot 2-2
MD2: Demot-Greal
MD3: Seventy Ninth Entrant-Demot
MD4: Demot-Han
MD5: Dariusville-Demot
MD6: Demot-Vlaskin
MD7: Demot-Magna Sancta Sedes
MQF: Yafor 2-Demot
MD8: Demot-Krytenia
MD9: Greal-Demot
MD10: Demot-Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD11: Han-Demot
MD12: Demot-Dariusville
MD13: Vlaskin-Demot
MD14: Magna Sancta Sedes-Demot

Demot 2
Rotherwell (24)
Esanar (72)

Yafor 2 1
Durand (76)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Demot 2
Woolliscroft o.g. (18)
Flintus (49)


Krytenia 2
C. Smith (77)
Breitenreiter (80)

Article byJuran Orvell

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk176/rennidan/Untitled-2.png

A Look Ahead: Group 10

Oh, 10. It's a lovely, round number. It's also the final group of this, the 43rd episode of the World Cup, and it's within this group that sits our shy nation of Rennidan. We here at the RWN thought it might be nice for you chaps and chappettes at home to have your own little guide for what exactly we can expect to see in this wonderful group.

So... here it is!


Players to Watch:


Matteo Corradini, Candelaria And Marquez: An unfortunate incident in a past Cup of Harmony has meant that Corradini's football will always be interwoven with events involving Rennidan. However, it is very much obvious that Corradini is still one of the biggest midfield threats in Group 10, if not in the entire international stage. Teams wanting to win will be keen to avoid his section of the pitch.

Jessica Keeley, Cassadaigua: This unknown female star from Cassadaigua has already been picked to play abroad next season, and for good reason. The strikerette has shown some raw skill within an opponent’s box, and could be a future feature of boys bedrooms across the world.

Augusto César, Cafundéu: A man to watch for both his skill on the pitch and his exploits off it. He's the kind of guy every girl wants to get with and every guy wants to be. He's definitely up there with Corradini with the ones to watch not just in this group, but in the entire Cup.

Josef Fersu, Rennidan: Well, we had to get one of our own into this. But we have good reason. Last World Cup, a fresh faced 16 ear old Fersu lead the Rennidanian side in scoring, and he hopes to come back this time around with a wiser head on his shoulders to accomplish a similar feat.



Matches to Watch:

Rennidan vs. Candelaria And Marquez: I know it's the obvious choice, but come on! There's more bad blood between these two than a vampire with an STD. I realize Gomez is now resting peacefully in heaven, throwing his boot at the faces of unsuspecting angels, but surely Corradini hasn't forgiven the nation for the unfortunate event that led to his need to wear a full face mask? This here will be one of the most memorable games of Group 10, no doubt about it.

Candelaria And Marquez vs. Cafundéu: The two highest ranked teams in Group 10, slugging it out to decide who really is the top of the table? This has all the makings of a great set of qualifying matches, so let's hope they live up to their potential.

Land de Wood vs. Universitus University: With one rank between them according to the KPB rankings, it's obvious these two are going to be the most evenly matched competitors in Group 10. They'll be going at it tooth and claw to see who can scrape their way above the other and, possibly, through into the knock out segment of the cup.

"We worship you,. Oh Brian, You are Lord over us all. Praise unto you Brian and the LORD our father. Amen." The Congregation spoke almost as one before the pastor. Responded "Amen... That concludes our service today but there is a ritual stoning... Remeber no women alowed. Thank you."

That concluded the service of the Church of Brianology though it is by far the end of this RP.

"So, what do you reckon." It was the harsh voice of Mrs Cohen and her "Oh, don't tell me you're going to the stoning." Her son responded who was about 30 years old

"I got my beard and everythin'." She lifted it up displaying it very prominately infront of the congregation that was moving away.

"Mother?! Do you want the Pastor to see?" he scolded his mother in a very meekly manner, pushing his hand down.

"Well, alright but I'm going around corner and putting it on right away. I don't wan' ta miss the stonin' after all."

"I'm going home..."

And so the 30-something still living at home child of Mrs. Cohen (who's husband died rather mysterious circumstances) did as he promised, Mrs. Cohen did what she was going to do and was one of the many women who pretended to be men so she could participate, infact the only real men was the pastor and the blasphemere but that's a story for another day.

MD2 scores are now available. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=14142247#post14142247)

Today's Sponsors are Dusan Agricultural and Biotech Solutions - "If it grows, we probably made it!" By their generous support, we'll be handing today's lucky winners a rubber cricket (as in the insect, dumpkopf!). Without further ado...

Most points earned (MD2): Magnus Valerius (+20.02)

Most ranks earned (MD2): Chutnusak and Seventy Ninth Entrant (+7)

Congratulations to the three winners!

And your updated MD2 ranks:

1 916.87 0 Valanora
2 902.06 0 Bostopia
3 888.54 0 Milchama
4 878.67 1 Starblaydia
5 877.66 -1 Capitalizt SLANI
6 873.21 1 Bazalonia
7 872.72 1 Cafundéu
8 872.71 -2 The Archregimancy
9 869.71 0 Tynelia
10 865.69 0 Daehanjeiguk
11 864.63 0 Qazox
12 853.67 4 The Holy Empire
13 847.20 5 Dancougar
14 846.61 3 Demot
15 842.40 4 Jasīʼyūn
16 840.12 -1 Vephrall
17 839.77 -4 Wentland
18 839.36 -6 Kura-Pelland
19 837.95 2 Jeruselem
20 834.04 -6 Candelaria And Marquez
21 825.64 -1 Ad’ihan
22 824.95 1 Yafor 2
23 814.24 2 Lovisa
24 809.97 2 Kelssek
25 809.85 2 Quakmybush
26 806.97 -4 Sorthern Northland
27 800.49 1 Taeshan
28 798.38 2 Rennidan
29 796.48 -5 Az-cz
30 780.52 3 Jeru FC
31 779.14 0 Septentrionia
32 776.83 0 Prux
33 774.71 1 Yafalonia and Bazor 2
34 774.41 -5 Krytenia
35 770.12 0 Blouman Empire
36 749.98 1 KaMaRi
37 740.89 -1 Newmanistan
38 727.18 2 Magna Sancta Sedes
39 718.12 -1 Green wombat
40 713.01 1 Land de Wood
41 704.10 -2 Terreiro de Ogum
42 703.60 1 Kenavt
43 702.54 -1 The Macabees
44 687.83 0 Kosovoe
45 667.14 0 West Zirconia
46 665.70 0 Universitus University
47 654.71 0 Arroza
48 645.69 1 An Blascaod Mor
49 632.27 -1 Glaycia
50 619.30 0 Greal
51 605.12 1 Liventia
52 604.98 1 Magnus Valerius
53 604.55 -2 Cokenia
54 556.68 1 Urna Eletrônica
55 551.74 -1 Myedvedeya
56 537.24 0 Secristan
57 527.19 4 Cassadaigua
58 525.05 2 Thoughts of Randomness
59 523.19 -2 Nethertopia
60 515.38 -1 Linpada
61 512.73 -3 The Islands of Qutar
62 482.93 0 Dariusville
63 458.72 4 Valetaland
64 458.38 -1 Alversia
65 442.15 -1 Bushdome
66 440.56 -1 Kjomasasopia
67 435.01 -1 Docky
68 419.12 0 Tortuga y Hispaniola
69 396.13 1 Deceased Writers Guild
70 394.81 -1 Colbourne
71 300.41 0 Vlaskin
72 98.60 2 Panuul
73 95.28 7 Seventy Ninth Entrant
74 95.19 -1 Miroxia
75 94.85 7 Chutnusak
76 94.41 -4 The Bostopian Empire
77 88.95 -2 Onimar
78 86.18 -1 United Island Empires
79 84.77 2 Saturday Sport
80 83.14 -1 Viltek
81 82.64 -5 Australiah
82 81.67 -4 Swilatia

Notes:

* Ranks only include teams participating in the World Cup!
* All zero-ranked (0) teams were given a uniform 100 score.

Ying Uing Score fiftieth World Cup goal leads team to victory

What do you get when you cross a warm summer evening, and a yound Linpada soccer team playing in front of there home crowd against the more expierienced Taeshani team. Why, a Knights win and a Knights group lead. Yes, they are all over group one in the 43rd World Cup qualifying campaign just two points ahead of the suprise second Kosovoen team, although they have played lame competition.

If you've seen the scorelines of most Taeshani wins you know they started of down a goal to the young Linpada team. But then Hele scored a suprise goal in the 47th minute just out of halftime to tie it up. It pretty much ended whemn Brian Ying Uing netted his fiftieth World Cup goal off a header in the seventieth minute.

Knights move up a spot in Rankings


Well you might think we at the inquirer give to much support to the ne Daehanjieguk rankings released after every game, but thats because we look good in them. Since there inception we have moved up 11 spots from our KPB ranking of 39th. Now the only real competition we have played so far is Jeruselem, but jeese give the team a bull yeah.

Victory

Comrades the Blue Tornado are showing strength in there newest World Cup endeavor. They sit just second out of eight right behind those bastard overlords in Taeshan. I pity them. Since the group draw there chances look bleak, even compareded to ours. But we expect losing. This tie and win easy games comrades. Our losing days will be back. Napoleon says so and he is always right. Long live King Napoleon the Traitorous. Stupid Leon Trotsky does not see the world, it was right to drive him out. The White Kosovoens have been banished. The Taeshaneese will not see it coming when we defeat them and free ourselves. They have not sent the vary food that keeps some of us alive. I Squaler Jenkins of the Kosovoe Daily tell youi all this in hopes you we will conquer. The football team is a joke everyone.

THE ROCKET REPORT

SPECIAL DAY

Pocono City, Newmanistan- If you haven’t heard by now, then what kind of Rockets fan are you? Anyway, as you all were well aware of by now, today’s game against Starblaydia represented the 100th managerial cap for Brian Carson. Carson, who has coached in Pocono City for nearly twenty years, and the long time leader of the national team has been very successful. The list of successful coaches in the World Cup is full of great minds and leaders, many of which have won the World Cup or mulitple World Cups during their tenure. Some may wonder where Brian Carson fits on this list. Will he be the best manager ever to never win a World Cup? Or will he one day, lead Newmanistan to glory? He is still only 55 years of age, so it is conceivable that he could be here to a World Cup 48 or 49 or maybe even the golden cup. That’s a long way in the future, and many things would have to go well, but if it did, then today’s 100th cap will seem like nothing. It will just be the “first 100". Carson doesn’t have a World Cup, but what you think about what he has done, it’s enough to deserve mention with other managers who had successful careers. He’s won three separate competitions: a Di Bradini Cup, a Baptism of Fire Trophy, and a Cup of Harmony Trophy. He’s the only coach to ever do that. Ever. Now, if you’re going to include the former U-21 trophy which preceded the Di Bradini Cup, then there may be others who have accomplished this feat, but if so, it’s likely a short and very special list. The opponent being Starblaydia just made it more ironic, because Carson has actually coached more national team games in Starblaydia then he has in Newmanistan! It was also a special day for Jeremy Brooker, who’s accomplishments mirror Carson’s since their careers so far have taken the same path. So to, for Jeremy McAllister, who has also won the three trophies, and was in his 101st game. Shawn Drummond, Tony Borsinger, and Corey Hennis have also been on all three Cup-winning teams, but Borsinger and Hennis haven’t started all the games and their cap numbers are still in the upper 60's. Drummond will hit 100 later in qualifying, in matchday five in the road game against Alversia.

Carson was honored in a nice pre-game ceremony, and also asked the fans to be very welcoming of the Starblaydi team and any of their supporters that have also made the trip to Pocono City. It’s hard not to have a special place in your heart for the place in which you made your debut, and achieved early successes. The game today though, represented the “12 years later” aspect. We could think back to the first games and the Baptism of Fire, but there was none of that. Newmanistan needed to pick up three points against the Purple Peril, who were winners of World Cup 41. Starblaydia couldn’t care less about the ceremony. For them, Newmanistan was just one more step on their road to qualifying, something that for them, is supposed to be a foregone conclusion. The Rockets were hoping to ride the wave of momentum, and did for the early portions of the game, with a flurry of shots place on the Starblaydi keeper. Jeremy McAllister put Newmanistan in front in the 26th minute after receiving a nice pass from Brett Carlson on the edge on the box. But as the first half went on, the class of the Starblaydis began to show. They scored two goals very late in the first half, coming in the 39th and 44th minutes to take a one goal lead into halftime. This is what Starblaydia wanted, to quiet down the crowd. As the second half started, the crowd was back at it and tried to carry the Rockets to a game tying goal. Again, the Rockets found success penetrating the defense and got some quality shots on net, but that Starblaydia keeper spoiled the show. McAllister was robbed in the 48th. Drummond in the 52nd? An amazing diving save. McAllister in the 54th? Another diving save. Carlson in the 58th? This time it’s a leaping save deflected off the bar? Parnett in the 61st? He gets to that as well. McAllister in the 66th? Off the goal post and out. The keeper was pumped up and seemed to signal to the Rockets to keep bringing it on. Defensive minded substitutions by Starblaydia stabilized the effort, then in the 79th, they put the game away. They would win the game by the score of 3-1. A score that doesn’t necessary reflect how close the game was, but does accurately reflect the gap in class that still exists between Starblaydia and Newmanistan.

STARBLAYDIA 3

39", 44", 79"

NEWMANISTAN 1

McAllister 26"

Greal Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS (159) Vlaskin (4-2)
MD2: Greal VS (19) Demot (0-1)
MD3: Greal VS (31) Krytenia
MD4: Greal VS (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD5: Greal VS (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD6: Greal VS (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD7: Greal VS (118) Dariusville
MD8: Greal VS (159) Vlaskin
MD9: Greal VS (19) Demot
MD10: Greal VS (31) Krytenia
MD11: Greal VS (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD12: Greal VS (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD13: Greal VS (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD14: Greal VS (118) Dariusville

Demot 1-0 Greal

Demot's team was nearly too much for Greal. Ross Trent and his team did their best to prevent a worse defeat. The game ended 1-0.

It started off slowly, both sides bitterly trying to score. Demot's defenders were just too good, and even Greal seemed to be preventing all goals from scoring, until a lucky Demot player scored at the twenty fifth minute. Howard Anderson had minor injuries and had to be taken out for the rest of the game. Ross redoubled his efforts to score, but the Demot defenders were just too good. At the same time, the Greali defenders stopped any more attempts to score. Raul Grant blocked a total of five goals in this seemingly long match. The Greali fans kept cheering both sides on, but in the end, Demot had won. They had too much experience, and a bit of luck. The defeat could have been worse quoted Ross.

Greal now ties with Dariusville and Magna Sancta Sedes with three points, while Demot and Daehanjeiguk lead on. Vlaskin, Seventy Ninth Entrant, and Krytenia are ranked the last three teams. Greal will play Krytenia tomorrow. (Preview up soon)

An estimated three hundred million watched the Demot-Greali match on television in Greal.

Mary:
Hello! I'm Mary Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem. I'm in Dazza Dallas stadium where Jeruselem played some team from Deceased Writers Guild at the World Cup 43. I'm with Jeruselem Captain Kate Sallad ... yes, she's my daughter and so is Jacinta Sallad. Also with us is Jeruselem striker, Robert Zygolene - who scored both goals in our win.

Kate: Hi Mum, hello everyone else.
Robert: God bless Jeruselem!

Mary: Robert, not bad day for you. Scoring goals in the 60th and 65th minute.
Robert: Yes, the coach put me on when she saw the Guild team was getting really tired from defending so much. A set of fresh legs did the trick.
Mary: Must be good to score goals at home in front of the fans.
Robert: Home is where the heart is.

Mary: Kate, solid win but not the win you wanted.
Kate: No, I wanted a big win at home. We rarely lose here at Dazza Dallas Stadium so we expect nice big wins here not just TWO NIL ones.
Mary: So you're not happy.
Kate: I'm happy we won, I'm not happy about the scoreline.

Mary: What did you want?
Kate: FIVE NIL or maybe FOUR NIL.
Mary: So what didn't go right?
Kate: Well, I think we all need work harder. We can't expect things to happen, we need to make these things happen - not the opponent.

Mary: Robert, expecting to start next game?
Robert: No, I'm part of the team. I'll just do my part when asked. No need to demand anything.
Mary: Kate, firing blanks today? No goals.
Kate: Well, the opposition resorted to being a bit rough on me thinking Kate girl is a wimp. I was never really fully balanced with people trying to rip my clothes off.

Mary: Rip your clothes off?
Kate: I mean grabbing stuff to put one of balance. As it happens, people tend grab the things that don't stay on a lot.
Mary: I heard Princess Marie gave the team a pep talk.
Robert: More like an insane rant but it worked. No one wants to upset Marie.

Mary:
OK, other results. Jeru FC put the loss to Bostopia behind them and beat Kjomasasopia THREE NIL. The Cannons are in the top 3 of group 3 with just one win. Merginn Moffat's nut throwing Southern Northland crashed 1-2 to Jaseuyeon in a let down after beating the Monks. Kenavt upset Kura-Pelland ONE NIL to lead Group 9 ahead of the bigger teams. KaMaRi beat Secristan THREE ONE in a predictable result. Septentrionia played like a bunch of Pistachio nuts, not able to beat Chutnusak at all with just a 1 ALL draw.

Kate: Damn that Merginn Moffat!
Mary: Didn't you kick him in the head.
Kate: Well, I was playing football. He was spoiling for a big fight doing weird stuff.
Mary: He was drunk.

Kate: That's no excuse. He seems to fit in well in SN.
Mary: What you looking at Robert.
Robert: You're just wearing a pair of shoes.
Mary: Well, it is Naked News.

Robert: I can see where Kate's good looks come from. Say, I got joke for you!
Kate: Oh no ...
Mary: Let's hear it.
Kate: Oh no ...

Robert: What's the difference between a Sallad and salad dressing
Mary: What?
Robert: You eat a dressed salad, but you eat an undressed Sallad!
Kate: Your jokes are terrible.

Mary: But it's so true.
Kate: Well, yeah ...
Mary: Well, it's back to the studio! Kitty talks movies with Naked at the Movies.

QNN
Where News Happens

"Qazox avenged one of its worst losses in history with a 5-0 demolition of Swilatia @ Champions Field, Qazox City. Led by a hat-trick by Charles Marquis and goals from Raul de Olivares and Jason Erca, Qazox was in total control of the match from the get go and didn't let up. With the win, Qazox is in first place in Group 5 with a trip to Tortuga y Hispaniola upcoming before matches with Az-cz and the Holy Empire, which could determine the early balance of power in the group.

The complete schedule and Results (Home games and Wins in BOLD):



MD1: @ Cokenia WIN 3-2 (Record: 1-0-0)
MD2: Swilatia WIN 5-0 (Record: 2-0-0)
MD3: @ Tortuga y Hispaniola
MD4: Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD5: @ The Holy Empire
MD6: Urna Eletrônica @ Estadio Azul Flores, Iguana de Mia. Capacity: 71,000.
MD7: Blouman Empire @ Estadia Pika, Pika City. Capacity: 78,625.
OFF DAY
MD8: Cokenia @ Toro Rojo Stadium, Las Vitas. Capacity: 70,000.
MD9: @ Swilatia
MD10: Tortuga y Hispaniola @ Toro Rojo Stadium, Las Vitas. Capacity: 70,000.
MD11:@ Az-cz
MD12: The Holy Empire @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD13: @ Urna Eletrônica
MD14: @ Blouman Empire


QAZOX SCORING today
Charles Marquis- 14', 56', 85'
Raul de Olivares- 41'
Jason Erca- 90+2'


QAZOX OVERALL SCORING
Charles Marquis- 4
Raul de Olivares- 2
Yolanda Christian- 1
Jason Erca- 1


<Commercial break>

AMANDA has struck again, this time in Outer Falls, Certifiably Insane. Fortunately for our troops, there was little to no damage done to the barracks there. The bomb was placed too far away to cause any significant injury to military or civilians. There are reports that 2 other devices were found and disarmed before they exploded.

In Pawtucket, Prux, Both President Peter Griffin, of Prux and the President of Certifiably insane, Jay Oker; have agreed to allow citizens of Certifiably insane to be airlifted to Prux. Furhur Daniel Renoir has publicly stated that all evacuation flights of civilians will be escorted by Q-15 fighters, to ensure the safety of those flights.

Stay tuned to QNN for more news as it happens.

ESPN Journal of Sport
October 20, 1944

Prux vs. Thoughts of Randomness, Game 2 of qualifying
by: Saul Werth

Prux maybe got caught looking ahead to Tynelia. A very late goal in the 4th minute of injury time by Thoughts of Randomness tied the match at 2-all and Prux lost 2 points they thought they had. A 15th minute goal by Zombie Pelé gave the home side the early lead and just minutes later, in the 19th minute, Zombie Ronaldo made it 2-0. But the visitors managed to cut the lead to 2-1 in the 66th minute, after Zombie Franz Beckenbauer's arm fell off and touched the ball in the penalty area, and ToR was awarded a penalty kick. The final goal came after a deflected shot that went off Zombie Franz Beckenbauer's leg and so the game ended in a draw. Up next is Tynelia, 4-1 winners over West Zirconia. This upcoming game is the first of back-to-back important matches for the team and at least a split would be needed to qualify for the World Cup.

MD1: vs. Bushdome WIN 3-1
MD2: vs. Thoughts of Randomness D 2-2
MD3: vs. Tynelia
MD4: @ Yafor 2
MD5: vs. United Island Empires
MD6: vs. West Zirconia
MD7: vs. Kelssek
QUALIFYING BREAK
MD8: @ Bushdome
MD9: @ Thoughts of Randomness
MD10: @ Tynelia
MD11: vs. Yafor 2
MD12: @ United Island Empires
MD13: @ West Zirconia
MD14: @ Kelssek

OVERALL: 1-1-0
Projected: 8-3-3

Goal Scoring:
Zombie Ronaldo- 3
Zombie Just Fontaine- 1
Zombie Pelé- 1

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: @ Krytenia 1-2 (@ Adanac)
MD1: vs (46) MSS 3-0 (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Jinhwangdo - 60,000)
MD2: @ (118) Dariusville 2-0
MD3: vs (159) Vlaskin (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD4: @ (19) Demot
MD5: vs (31) Krytenia (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju - 80,000)
MD6: @ (66) Greal
MD7: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MQ1: vs Taeshan (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium, Daebo - 50,000)
MD8: @ (46) MSS
MD9: vs (118) Dariusville (@ Oromokjei Football Stadium, Oromokjei - 25,000)
MD10: @ (159) Vlaskin
MD11: vs (19) Demot (@ Waella Football Stadium, Hanseong - 43,000)
MD12: @ (31) Krytenia
MD13: vs (66) Greal (@ Munhwa Football Stadium 65,000)
MD14: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant


The regulars were back in the Lucky Cricket some time later. Min Seunghwa was busily washing the dishes in the sink (so far, no leaks - Gyeongae was a master handywoman) while the patrons were busily discussing the arrival of the prefect from Gwangdong Province.

"He's quite an odd ball," Hansu said, drinking a bottle of beer. "If you'd look at the two of them, the butler looks more like the prefect than he himself."

"They're a bunch of weird folk from down south, you know," Hong said, eating some fried vegetables and squid in a pancake - haemul pajeon - dipped in soy sauce. It was a specialty of the Shin Yeongsuk, besides her famous rice cakes. "But as weird as they, they don't compare to those Westerners (Shingang); they're all the strangest folk I've ever met."

"How would you know?"

"Well, I've been there once, but apparently, they're all Muslim. And whatever that means, they have to pray 5 times a day. And if you have to do, why not do it together, right? So they all pray 5 times a day, and they all do it at the same time. So I'm in one of their pubs - and the pubs there don't sell any alcohol either..."

"An outrage!"

"... so I'm stuck drinking tea. At noon, they all face west and bow down to Haneul (God). I'm wondering if they're bowing to Haneul, why face West? They tell me that Haneul rests at some other city. Boy... I'll tell you that they're weird folk. They also drink ridiculous amounts of coffee. Everywhere you go - coffee and loads of it. They're all everywhere in pots. The neighbors will pour you a cup of coffee if you have a cup. They'll lend you a cup if you don't have a cup. It's outrageous actually - the cities in the West are driven by caffeine. But they are mightily polite."

"And what were you doing out in Shingang?" Chan asked him.

"Oh, I was doing some reconnaissance for a old imam - he said he was suspecting one of his wives was being unfaithful."

"One?"

"They believe that having more than one wife is alright, but more than one husband is bad."

"What?" Gyeongae said, visibly disturbed. Actually, disturbed doesn't quite describe it, but as it wouldn't convey anything truly negative, it would suffice for the moment. Understandably, her neighbors were concerned for their safety. "That's bigamy!"

"Well, it's not that big of a deal," Hong said - hoping to avoid a larger clash. "Historically, the Imperial House had multiple concubines to house the Imperial Family. I do admit that hearing about it today is quite odd, but you shouldn't become..." Hong might have been a man known for his ability to see things out, but he certainly did not see that slap coming from a mile away. Yu simply whacked him, almost knocking him out. If he was blind to his insensitivity before, he made his amends soon thereafter - "I'll shut up."

"Ya!" Chan then said, "in my day, women didn't slap men like that."

"I know!" Yu said. "Men slapped women!"

"Whatever it was, men knew their place in society, and women knew theirs. You don't have this gender confusion that's killing our youth. Because a woman can do whatever a man can do - true it may be, but Heaven has accorded certain doctrines that say a man does certain things, and a woman does other things. For example, a man cannot have a baby. Nature herself has made the task impossible for a man, as he does not have the capacity to bear a child from his womb from birth. And you want to say that man and woman are equal in all things? Not so! Until a man gives birth to a baby, I insist it!"

Yu would have slapped Chan, but as he was aged, slapping him - an older man - would have been an extremely serious taboo. And besides that, he always spoke so politely.

"That said, men don't take the accord to exploit women. Men are given their mandate - as are women - and they must each show their part. If a man and woman can be judged equally, they must judged according to their merit! If not, it's like comparing apples to plums! 'Oh, this apple is better than that plum' - but only if you like apples. Me? I like plums. I can have anything with plums. I've made a great deal of dishes with just plums. Plum soup, plum tea, plum dressing, even plum kimchi. And it does taste that good. Besides, plum trees are easier to grow than apple trees - at least in my father's farm. Actually, now that I think about it, mulberries are truly divine. The sweet little morsels are a joyous gift from Heaven. They say that mulberry wine is good for a man's health. Say - what is it that we were talking about?"

Everyone around the table was oddly gawking at old man Chan. Seunghwa was giggling from behind the counter, washing the dishes. Every once in a while, Chan becomes engaged in senility, such that he goes off on random talks about whatever came to mind at the time. Normally, they're an amusing hour-long stretch of pointless talking, like a butterfly flirting from flower to flower. One time, he managed to repeat his entire conversation twice and was about to continue on to a third round before someone stopped him. As the "old man" of the group, it was an embarrassing experience for him. After all, if he was to be the learned sage of age, he couldn't be susceptible to extensive brain farts.

"Anyway," Hong said, still nursing his cheek, "Gwangdong folk are a bit unusual."

At that moment, Son came into the pub. It was a while since his episode with the Krytenia loss - in fact, it was the longest he had been away. Maybe he was a little too upset? "Pardon me," he said. "I've just come back from the land of monkeys, where our brave Han souls have beaten the sentient monkeys 2-nil."

The crowd applauded. "Who scored?" Hong asked.

"Jeong Jihun," Son said, as if he were a statistics card for all things related to football. "He got the first one in the 16th minute, while Baek Jihun took the second goal - I think the best goal of his career. Coming off a corner kick, he kicks it in, and Jeong gets his head up for the header. Goalkeeper blocks the shot and deflects it out to Baek, who's just come off the corner, expecting Jeong to score. He gets the ball and whips another lob back in. The wind or something - whatever it was - it was special. The balls whips in and curves into the goal, beyond the goalkeeper's reach, and beyond anyone can get their heads to the ball. Seriously, it was wicked."

"I'm not sure if the laws of physics would account for that," Hong remarked. "That must have been one impressive shot."

"Trust me, physics does not apply to football. On my way home, I listened to match reports coming from Newmanistan for some odd reason, and all of the goals were scored in the first 79 seconds. Grant you, that was four goals, most of them by the visitors - Starblaydia, I sure of it."

"79 seconds? 4 goals? That must have been particularly shell-shocked defense," Yu said. That's like one goal every 19 seconds."

"And that's not the worst of the news of physics. Apparently, the Krytie bastards lost to a bunch of rays of lights."

"What?"

"The Catholic freaks we played the last time went out and beat Krytenia 2-0. I'm not sure how that happens, but it happened."

"Of course it would happen," Hansu said. "Teams get lucky."

Son shook his head. "They would have be to be particularly lucky to have scored without anyone on the team. In fact, they said that they weren't even sending a team. Some test of faith, they said. Anyway, I saw a footage of the first goal. Basically, the Krytie bastards were shooting on an open goal, but the rays of light were blinding them, so the ball hit the crossbar. They're playing blind, so they go looking for the ball, and they manage to kick the ball into their own net."

"Ah, so there is a physical explanation for it after all?" Hong said, noting that someone did kick the ball in the net.

"Well, there's physical, and then there's stupid. Krytenia was all stupid. Although, come to think of it, I'm wondering why we only got 3 goals on an open net... But I certainly had some fun chanting in the crowd. I got to be part of the cheer group, since I'm a licensed ticket-holder! I've gotten a scarf and everything for our next match."

"Ah, where is the next match?" Hansu asked.

"Malnira." The very word echoed an utterance that caused everyone to shudder. Malnira was one city that everyone "Capital" person learned to revile. Why was it? Well, it was hard to say; there was nothing particularly reviling about the city. In fact, Malnira was the supposed capital of the Jonamdo Kingdom, and Imperial ties with the city were especially cherished. So what about the city made it the ill-subject of many Capital pubs? Perhaps the difference of culture - Malnira people spoke a different language, and if they spoke any Han, they were all an 'exotic' dialect. They were considerably proud people, though. And Hangyeong, being a proud city, had its reputation to bear. Pride - the first of sins - would be the logical choice, but indeed, it wasn't the whole story; and it isn't our story. In fact, we only know that there is this animosity.

"Couldn't they have scheduled the game closer to home?" Chan said. "Malla is so far away." That could have been another reason for the animosity. It was on the clear other side of the Empire, and you couldn' t get there except by boat or plane - both expensive modes of transportation.

"It's part of the IFA's continuing program to 'incorporate' the Empire. That's why every time there's a World Cup Qualifier, the Imperial Team travels around the country, which is just stupid, because then fans have to travel with the team."

"There's also the corporate issue," Hong said. "Corporations make more money by scheduling the matches at different venues. In fact, the Han-Demot match has triggered off a debate of intense fury, since they've scheduled it at a private stadium."

"Wait, they didn't," Son said in disbelief. "Waella?" he uttered in horror. What was horrifying about the stadium was not that it was built by foreign hands, built for a foreign team, or even has foreign people around it, but that it's "just-another-Inter" team - "Gukjei" teams were still largely limited in their marketability to average Han citizens. Evidently, the IFA wanted to break the mold by bringing Han citizens to a Gukjei stadium... but as we already know, the problem wasn't the stadium. Son looked at his cell phone, surveying his schedule. "Man, I'm not going to like next week at all."

"Well, at least you've got the ticket-holder status, so you can go to all of the matches. But if you're not a ticket-holder, I've heard that Waella might be jerking the ticket prices high just before the match, so people are buying them out now."

"That's just a travesty," Yu said, adding her little opinion to the foray. "That's just exploitation."

"Well, the sticker is that Waella hasn't announced that they would be hiking the prices, and as far as I'm aware, Waella is obliged to keep the prices low. I'm not sure if they ever really worked the rights to use the stadium for the Imperial fixtures, but I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't be allowed to bring up the prices. Anyway, the point is that people's fears of the prices going up is driving up the market prices."

"We have but to fear fear," Chan said.

THE HEXAGON REPORT
It's News, Because We Say So!


Valetaland pulled off its 2nd consecutive minor upset, knocking off the Wombats before they travel to The Archregimancy. Either they took Valetaland to lightly or were looking ahead, but this was a game that the Wombats should have won, and didn't. 15 fouls and 2 penalty kick goals allowed is inexcusable at home and against any team. With the schedule getting harder over the next 4 matches, Green wombat is now looking at a tough climb to get into contention.

(NOTE: All home matches will be played at: Green wombat Field, aka: "The Barracks": The Hexagon. Capacity: 66,666.)
MD1: @ An Blascaod Mór WIN 2-1
MD2: vs Valetaland LOST 1-2
MD3: @ The Archregimancy
MD4: vs Jasiyun/Jaseuyeon
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland
MD6: vs Nethertopia
MD7: vs Onimar
MD8: vs An Blascaod Mór
MD9: @ Valetaland
MD10: vs The Archregimancy
MD11: @ Jasiyun/Jaseuyeon
MD12: vs Sorthern Northland
MD13: @ Nethertopia
MD14: @ Onimar
OVERALL RECORD: 1-0-1


The Post MD2 Ranks (1st Place Votes in Bold Italics)


TOP 15 POLL
Rank/Prev.
1/2 Milchama 2-0-0 5
2/3 Bostopia 2-0-0 4
3/4 Starblaydia 2-0-0 2
4/5 Cafundéu 2-0-0 2
5/1 Valanora No Record (Co-host, is not participating in qualifiers)
6/9 Qazox 2-0-0 1
7/12 Dancougar 2-0-0 1
8/7 Bazalonia 2-0-0
9/8 Daehanjeiguk 2-0-0
10/10 Tynelia 2-0-0
11/11 Capitalizt SLANI 1-0-1
12/NR Kenavt 2-0-0
13/15 Demot 1-1-0
14/NR The Holy Empire 2-0-0
15/NR Jaseuyeon 2-0-0

FELL OUT:
#6 Wentland Lost to Yafalonia and Bazor 2 0-1
#13 Kura-Pelland Lost to Kenavt 0-1
#14 Sorthern Northland Lost to Jaseuyeon 1-2


Biggest riser of the week was Dancougar, going up 5 spots following a 7-1 win over The Bostopian Empire (not to be confused with Bostopia itself). The biggest dropper of the week, who stayed in the Top 15 was Valanora, who fell 4 spots to #5, due to they are not participating in qualifiers.
Kenavt, with back-to-back wins over Top 15 teams, joined the Top 15 in 12th, while The Holy Empire and Jaseuyeon climbed in as well.

Please note that after MD3, Valanora will not be eligible for the Top 15, until the World Cup begins, and the dreaded Bottom 5 makes its debut.

(ooc: I'm trying to make this poll resemble the RL NCAA polls, where subjectivity reigns, that's why Kenavt is in the Top 15 right now. Basically losses will drop you out, unless it's against a fellow Top 15 team, while draws will probably keep you in, unless it's a 0-0 draw with a Bottom 5 team, and the bigger the win, the more likely you'll go up in rank.)

PROFITABLE HOME OPENER

The Secristan Department of Sports was very pleased with the fan response to the home opener of the qualification effort against KaMaRi. Monopoly Stadium was sold out, and the average bid price was reported to have been 186R per seat as the upper class flocked to the Stadium to get a piece of history, the first home game played in Secristan during World Cup qualifying. Vendors, who paid an average of 400R to set up their displays, reported plenty of merchandise sales that revolved around the theme of it being the first game. Any kind of item that you could possibly put a “first game” logo on was sold. Commemorative coin jingling jars were the most popular item. If you are unfamiliar with the jugs, they are special items in which Secristani fans place Ruscents (a coin of the Rusa) inside and shake during the game in place of chanting. The jars are manufactured so that the sound of the coins are amplified to their maximum potential. Hats, jerseys, and flags also sold well. For those who could not make it to Amherst, the sales of the game on pay-per-view television met SDOS expectations, and somewhat exceeded them. SDOS rep Katie Simpson told us that, “We are happy to see that fans wanted to make this the special moment that it rightfully should be. Even though this sport isn’t quite as popular as some others, we feel good that the we can keep fans excited about soccer at least during the period of the World Cup. Most fans were excited to have the opportunity to purchase our special first game items, which we feel were fairly priced. People also were eager to purchase the pay-per-view telecast and corporations are purchasing advertising time very well during these telecasts. In addition, I would expect to see many of our top companies advertise with a World Cup theme. I have already heard about some very exciting plans in the works.”

We can’t wait! As far as the game went, Secristan was defeated 3-1. Kevin Walker scored the lone Millionaire goal in the 50th minute.

Miroxian Sports Inquirer

Miroxia Falls 4-1

Miroxia was on the road, again, ladies and gentlemen, but now they fell to Quakmybush, 4-1. You could say it wasn't even close...sadly. Quakmybush took a 2-0 lead in the first half, and Miroxia seemed doomed! But then when second half came around things got interesting...

Striker Edward Aztec continued his greatness in this world cup and got a fast-paced break of of several Quakmybush defenders. He got real close and shot it from outside the box. GK didn't see what hit him. The ball, at a fast pace, swept right by the Quakmybush GK's head and went into the next. 2-1 at the 53rd minute. It only got worse from there.

Quakmybush got revenge after substituting mid defense Vincent Gay, Jr. tripped the Quakmybush sweeper. 3-1 after the penalty shot. It stayed like that till the very end, and at the 90th minutes exact, with time on the clock, Quakmybush scored. 4-1 in a trageic loss. Shame.

Anyhow, Miroxia will face Terreiro de Ogum next in the World Cup. Also, we are proud to announce we are a place ahead of Ad'ihan!

Anthony Jones

It's been a tough week for us. I know you fans aren't happy, but neither is the boss, nor are we. We all know we represent the country and have to give our all but it just hasn't been coming together for us. I blogged last time out about our troubles in Milchama — it turns out Martin Kawn has a fractured toe and will have to miss three games, including the Liventia one. How the injury was not picked up, he isn't sure, and neither are the team doctors. The pre-match random medical screening showed no problems with Martin and he felt no pain during the match, which is certainly very curious.

Anyway, we flew back into Ad’ihan the next day and unfortunately a select few of our outraged fans met us at Ad’ihan airport, screaming vulgar abuse in our faces and even getting physical. Unfortunately two people had to be escorted away, and I understand they've been charged with assault. I'm happy to say that that's only a small minority of our fans, but you certainly have been getting more vocal.

Training on our first day back was horrible. Morale was down and no one was really in any mood for training. The boss asked me to speak to the lads as captain and I did have a word with a few of them but understandably they didn't react too well and I can't blame them for that, the 5-1 loss really took the wind out. And then there was all that news about the Liventian team possibly being barred from coming here because their government still has limits on their citizens travelling here, and that we might once again have to travel out of the country to play them at a neutral site.

In my opinion I'd have happily taken the three points for a walkover had they decided not to come here and play but unfortunately for us, while they decided they could not come here, the AFF refused to call the game off and offered to shift it out of the country, which meant that our fans at home were all disappointed and for us, already tired from jet lag, we had to once again get on a plane and fly out to Orean.

None of the lads were really happy about this, it was supposed to be a home match but we ended up playing away in Liventia against Liventia with none of our fans present, and it was a wonder that we managed the 1-1 draw. All the players have signed a petition to the AFF asking that the return leg, which we were supposed to play in Liventia, be played here at home, and that if they can't make it, then they'd have to ask for a walkover. I'm sorry but it just isn't fair to us players, and we're all really upset at the AFF for treating us like this when they knew we were jet lagged and looking forward to a home game.

I have little doubt that this blog as well as the petition will get me in trouble with the AFF but I am sure the fans are on our side. I'm sure they—YOU—were as sickened as us when we heard the news that we'd have to play in Liventia and their tickets bought were now useless.

The match itself was ridiculously one-sided, and we were lucky to come away with a point. We went there all tired, while their players hadn't even had to travel! They dominated the match and we had two men sent off, which was a real shame. Greg Innisvale managed to score a wonder goal, though, which for his first international mark was absolutely fabulous.

We now go back to club football for a while until we meet up again in a few weeks to travel to Quakmybush. Hopefully by then the AFF will have resolved this whole issue. More travelling, sigh.

(To support the players' petition, please go to www.islandsdaily.co.ad/news/specials/wc43q-petition and sign your name. Cheers, Anthony.)

(Translate this blog entry: French | Spanish | German)

Schedule of matches
Matchday 1: Milchama (A) L1-5
Matchday 2: Liventia (*) D1-1
Matchday 3: Quakmybush (A)
Matchday 4: Terreiro de Ogum (Stade des Îles)
Matchday 5: Magnus Valerius (A)
Matchday 6: Miroxia (Stade Aéroport)
Matchday 7: Australiah (Great Mets Stadium)
Matchday 8: Milchama (Protectorate Stadium)
Matchday 9: Liventia (A, Grovers Park)
Matchday 10: Quakmybush (Tallyn Ground)
Matchday 11: Terreiro de Ogum (A)
Matchday 12: Magnus Valerius (Stade des Îles)
Matchday 13: Miroxia (A)
Matchday 14: Australiah (A)
*Home match, but played in Liventia due to political reasons

World Cup 43: Match Day Two

Rennidan : Universitus University
4:1



Match Report:

@Universitus University - Finally, it looks like the young lads of our national glory have pulled themselves together and brought their A-Game around for a cracking game away at Universitus University. Fans tuned it back home in Rennidan were no doubt jumping about with joy and dancing in the streets as the final whistle blew, and those lucky supporters who had gotten their mitts on tickets were going nuts in the stands as the Universitus University team went back to the locker room with their heads hung low.

And yet, at half time, the match looked like it could go either way.

It all kicked off when Josef Fersu, the seventeen year old wonder child from Rennidan, launched a staggering run up field to plop the ball into the back of the UU net on his own, leading to a chorus of boyish chants from the Rennidan fans to announce their glee.

But their joy was cut short as a succession of short passes lead Universitus University back over to the away goal, which they swiftly deposited to bring the score to an even 1-1 as the halftime whistle blew. Both teams withdrew to their respective locker rooms, and, no doubt about it, both managers got ready to give one hell of a speech to their tired players.

_________

I do not like giving these talks at half time. I wish Jerry Horts would give them instead (or perhaps Dr. Seuss. I do like him). I stand upon a bench and look at these dirty, tired players who expect me to utter some magic words which will suddenly turn them into the worlds greatest. But it's all part of the job, I guess. I remember what it was like when I was the goalkeeper for this team. I remember coming off at half time, waiting for our long dead manager of the time to give us some tips, some motivational words to guide me through the second half.

I figure that's what I need to do now. I figure it should be short and sweet, but powerful enough to make them perform well. I look at them, my players, my friends. They look back with wide, eager eyes.

I hold up a hammer.

"Right. If you don't win, I'll bash your nuts in with this."

I think that should do the job.

_________

And boy oh boy, Rennidan are suddenly back on blistering form! Within a minute of the second half beginning, a long distance cross from Deleks led to Fersu scoring his second of the game with a blistering scissor kick into the top left. Then came a scorching launch from Micha Hasweh, 32 yards outside the box, which ended up beautifully in the back of the net. The crowd erupted almost as fiercly as the shot did, and it became apparent that Rennidan was going to take this game with their 3-1 lead.

But this didn't stop Universitus University from trying their hardest to scrape back a lead. They had several runs up field which looked sure to end up in the box, but this time round the Rennidan defence seemed to have pulled themselves together. Samual Fortal was back on form with twenty three tackles to his name in a single match, and team captain, 24 year old Harri Belon, was putting on a golden performance as he owned the entire pitch, acting as the cornerstone to the entire team. It's times like this when you can be proud to be Rennidanian.

It all came to a head when Fersu rounded his score tally to a good three goals and dribbled the ball into the back of the Universitus net seconds before the whistle blew. 4-1 to Rennidan and another 3 points for their table. It truely was one of the most miraculous come backs I have ever seen the Eagles make.

Let's hope their next match against Candaleria And Marquez will live up to it's hype, because that's the only way it'll be able to top this one.





MD1: vs. Colbourne 2-1
MD2: @ Universitus University 4-1
MD3: @ Candelaria And Marquez
MD4: @ Cafundéu
MD5: vs. Land de Wood
MD6: vs. Saturday Sport
MD7: @ Cassadaigua
MD8: @ Colbourne
MD9: vs. Universitus University
MD10: vs. Candelaria And Marquez
MD11: vs. Cafundéu
MD12: @ Land de Wood
MD13: @ Saturday Sport
MD14: vs. Cassadaigua


_________

Liventian players side with rivals over venue

Orean, LIVENTIA— Liventia's national football team players have sided with arch-rivals Ad’ihan after an Ad’ihan home match against Liventia was forced to be played in Orean.

The government of Liventia, led by Prime Minister Patrick Danahue, who is understood to consider one of the Ad’ihani parties in their Senate as terrorists, blocked sports visa requests from the Liventian team to travel to Ad’ihan, even to the players who play professionally in Ad’ihan and would normally be granted the visa.

The Football Association of Liventia, understandably nervous about having to forfeit the match, contacted the Football Federation of Ad’ihan, who agreed to play the match in Orean. Typically, this newspaper would take the opportunity, like we did after Matchday One, to laugh at the epil failures of the Ad’ihan team, but even we can't do that this time.

This government has interfered in sport and compromised the result of a competitive match, and no fan wants to see that. Apparently, neither did the Liventian players. Although they took to the pitch, and dominated the game against the tired Ad’ihani side, none of the players interviewed afterwards were happy.

"We didn't deserve to be playing at home in front of our home crowd with them not having anyone here to cheer them on, especially since it was a 'home' fixture for them. We were really disappointed at the government's decision to reject our sports visas out of the country, and of course we are all grateful to the AFF for agreeing to play this match here even though they would suffer," captain Colin Marshall told BCL Radio 1.

The FAL are understood to be looking for a possible neutral site outside of the country to play the return — home — leg in, as a reciprocal gesture to the AFF, should the Liventian government block any attempts to play Liventia's home game against Ad’ihan away at the Protectorate Stadium.

The Minister for Sport, Gareth Gwinney (NCB), has raised the issue in Parliament, accusing the Prime Minister Mr Danahue and the Foreign Minister, Jane Rodriguez (Tory), of meddling politics in sport. Mr Gwinney's National Centrist Board party has also threatened to withdraw from Mr Danahue's governing coalition over the issue, as have the Social Democrats, which would see the government fall.

Mr Danahue and Mrs Rodriguez have both defended their decision, although with the latest threats from the NCB and SDP to quit the coalition, an apology and reciprocal move could be on the way sooner rather than later.

UNITED ISLANDS DAILY BREAKING

Ad’ihani PM calls for AFF chief to quit
AD’IHAN— In a widening dispute over recent developments which saw the national football team playing a 'home' fixture away in the country of their opponents, the Prime Minister, Alex Canning (GA), has taken time during a Senate debate to call for the resignation of John Stence, chairman of the Football Federation of Ad’ihan.

Mr Canning's comments, which were met with unanimous applause, came after Stence agreed to let the team's home fixture against Liventia be played away in Orean, the Liventian capital, following refusal by the Liventian government to let the Liventian team travel to Ad’ihan.

"Once again Patrick Danahue, Prime Minister of Liventia, has found a way to aggravate the Ad’ihani people with his accusations, tactics and lies. Unfortunately, this time John Stence, chairman of our national football association, the Football Federation of Ad’ihan, fell for it and agreed to let our already-jet-lagged players travel once more to play this rightfully 'home' match away in Liventia.

"This is an outrage, Mr Speaker, and I'm sure every member of this Honourable Senate, regardless of party lines, will stand with me in saying that John Stence should resign as AFF chairman," Mr Canning said in his remarks to open the Senate debate session which were broadcast live nationwide.

In Liventia, the decision has also caused consternation, with two of the three members of the governing coalition threatening to withdraw from government over the issue, which would see the Liventian government fall. Mr Canning refused to comment, only saying that it would be "poetic justice" following Mr Danahue's threats to invade Ad’ihan late last year.

Courtney’s Space

Hey, what did you think about our nice new uniforms? Leave your comments about our new look here. We didn’t get these sharp new looking kits in time for the Land de Wood game, but we were looking real good in them against Saturday Sport at home, in my opinion! We have to thank the people at JMC, which is Krytenian company for the uniforms! With our new look, we went out there and picked up our first victory of qualifying! Saturday Sport is one of the countries that we were hoping to defeat since they actually had a worse rank then us! It is also their first ever qualification but they did not participate in the Baptism of Fire. We wanted to take advantage of their inexperience, because it’s not often that it will be advantage Cassadaigua when it comes to that. We were a lot more relaxed last night. No longer were we thinking about making a good impression in our first game because that was all over with. That alone, I think, really helped us out. Our new look did too.

When we hit the field, it didn’t take long for us to get a lot of confidence. Saturday Sport were beaten pretty badly by Cafundeu in their first game and they seemed a little unsure of themselves out there. We sensed this but I wanted to make sure we didn’t start making the same kind of mental errors that plagued us against Land de Wood. That went for me too. This is why we didn’t just go for the kill right from the start. Since we felt that we had the edge we patiently took our time to establish our feel of the game and of their defenders. Learning some of their early tendencies that we could try to take advantage of later, and the same would be true for the goalkeeper. It took us 24 minutes, or 114 if you are going to count us being shut out in the first game to get our first official goal. Jessica Keeley got her name in the record books with the score and I am very happy for her. She was really pumped up for this game after someone told her that she was mentioned in Rennidan news report as one of the players to watch in the group and she showed why with her great strike. Unfortunately, they tied it in the 33rd minute, so even though we felt good about the game, it was gut check in the locker room. We had to pull this out. This is where I am really proud of all of us. We could have regressed back to some of our sloppy ways against Land de Wood in trying to make plays happen that aren’t there. We remained patient and made sure we took care of the back end. Doing that, we would generate chances, and when Kirsten Logan’s cross was delivered to me in the 68th minute, I knew this had to be it. I saw the keeper leaning to his right, so if I could get a header in the top corner it should go in. But I would have to time it perfectly. Thankfully it all worked out as planned. It would be the game winner! I know some people are calling me the player of the match, but it was a team effort. In fact, you really have to credit our defense. Michelle Fuller, Jessica Messina, Amber Brandt, and Brooke Reynolds were all sensational! Rachel Terry was top class in goal! We got our first win! It’s an exciting moment.

Next up for us is Cafundeu at home. Sounds like a tough one, I know. It will be very tough. Extremely tough. But I do know one thing. We’re not going to back down!

Arrozan Ministry Of Sport Website> National Teams > Soccer > World Cup 43

Last Match Report...

Well the trip to Bostopia was about as much nightmare fuel as we expected. I really don't even want to talk about it too much as it was just a complete debacle. We got demolished on the wings, we got stomped in the front, and the center did not hold. Is there any other way to explain what happened here other than to say that we were demolished, with flair. One day, we'll be able to crush them, but not today. Gronfeld was incredibly impressive against the man to man marking of the Tar Hornet back line, burning rookie Abednego Carver for a brace before getting subbed out.

Goals:
Bostopia 5 : Loewe (8), Gronfeld (19, 37, 55), Svettbard (84)
Arroza 0
Cards:
Arroza: Jackson (Y), Viades (Y), Carver (Y), Spivey (Y)

Next Match: Arroza (47) v. Kjomasasopia (66) IFA numbers. @ Government Park, Arroza

Well then. Now Arroza enters the part of the schedule where anything less than 7 points is unacceptable. With a home game against the Kjomasasopia Spiders, who haven't scored yet, an away game at the Islands of Qutar, who were beaten soundly at Bazalonia, and another home game against the nomadic savages of Vilitek who haven't gotten a point either. If we intend to have a chance in this division, we must take every point in these three games, and hold serve against the Macabees, and the Cannons. The team is currently on 3 points, but sixth in the group due to their -2 goal differential.

Note: Fans going to the Vilitek game should note that Arrozan security will be set to “Prux-Level” for the game. This means the re-instatement of snipers in the aisles of the club-level, and the throwing of foreign objects will not be tolerated. Thank You.

Schedule (First Half)

Friendly: @ Secristan (0-1)
MD1: The Macabees (3-0)
MD2: @ Bostopia (0-5)
MD3: Kjomasasopia
MD4: @ Islands of Qutar
MD5: Vilitek
MD6: @ Bazalonia
MD7: Jeru F.C. - @ Costa Norte, Seclusion Coast

That wasn't in the script. Form is temporary and class is permanent they say, but form can very often trump class, and with an 86th-minute winner, on-form Kenavt put Kura-Pelland in a whole heap of trouble with a 1-0 win at Shanvley Stadium.

'We have to top the group at halfway because we have such a lop-sided schedule, with so many away games near the end', remarked possibly-pessimistic Tommy Yuram-Wilson. In fact, six of Kura-Pelland's final seven matches are away from home.

Kenavt have illustrated the power of surprise and the unexpectedly low influence of RP-inin; their FA have not released a roster for this tournament, a strategy Kura-Pelland used to good effect at the last World Cup. 'I hope we don't see this 'mystery men' strategy used too often,' an anonymous KPFA spokesperson said. He has also called for RP-inin to be supplied in stronger doses, although he is expected to face a challenge from some other associations and perhaps from the government of Candelaria And Marquez, a country which has fared well in international sport with the help of RP-inin and its controversial sister drug Verbosita, but has recently suffered from the effects of the drugs spreading to the streets.

Well, we knew the Tynelia match was never going to be easy. What we didn't foretell was the exact magnitude of the defeat.

In good spirits following their good start against the United Island Empires, West Zirconia took to the road up for the challenge of the highest-ranked team in the group. The only change to the squad was Mike Faulkner relegating Lewis Fox to the bench. This was said to be merely precautionary, as Fox had picked up a slight knock in the UIE game.

The high hopes that West Zirconia had entertained lasted less time than did the national anthems. After just a minute and a half, a Tynelian striker dodged Williams, Phillips and Faulkner before beating Gray with a shot to the bottom right-hand corner. After that, West Zirconian heads collective dropped. A second followed within six minutes - Faulkner again being principally at fault.

Tynelia by this time were brimming with confidence - and why not? Were it not for Steve Gray's ability, the half-time score could well have been eight or nine to the home side. As it was, the lead was merely 2-0.

At half-time Faulkner, whose confidence had been completely shot through, was replaced by Mark Dolman. Sadly for West Zirconia, this was to have little effect. Tynelia came out in just as lively a manner as before, and this was to show when they added a third and fourth within the space of two minutes.

Steve Griffiths was taken off, to be replaced by Ryan Gregory, in what was obviously a damage limitation move. The only West Zirconian highlight was when the Tynelian keeper, obviously being too cocky for his own good, dribbled the ball as far as the half-way line, only to be tackled by Martin Forster, who then lobbed the ball into the empty net.

That was sadly the most entertaining part of the game, from a West Zirconian perspective at least. The team need to ask themselves some serious questions before the next game, when they - and highly-fancied Kelssek - travel to Moorcroft.

West Zirconia: Gray, Phillips (c), Faulkner (Dolman 45), Munro, Paterson, Hawthorne, Williams, French, McGowan, Forster, Griffiths (Gregory 62)

Goals: Anon (Tynelia) 2, 8, 51, 52: Forster (West Zirconia) 82
Booked: Munro (West Zirconia) 55

"What a start to the campaign eh?"

"When did you become Canadian?"

"I don't know eh but I can't stop"

"Will you shut up"

"No"

"Then I will have to kill you"

"Fine I will stop"

"Thanks so anyway what a great start"

"Yeh our horse has been a revelation"

"Agreed"

"You know with this Failure Generation of footballers we should be looking at more horses"

"I agree the mobility of Tanubian out there was huge to that Adihan victory"

"Yeh he just controlled the whole defensive half of the field"

"That probably explains the 75% possession we enjoyed that game"

"Most definitely"

"Then Kenji Miller getting a hattrick and Allen Varens popping up for another goal was great"

"Yeh especially considering Allen wasn't even on that roster"

"Well Billy Reese also scored"

"Yeh that tends to happen when the horse jumps over anybody"

"But to get that angle on the header?"

"Yeh it's hard but it's possible, very possible, toooo possible"

"Shut up"

"No"

"Why"

"I said so"

"That's not a good reason"

"That's what you think"

"That is what I think"

"Will shut up eh"

"That's it"

*Draws out a knife*

"You're going down!"

"Oh no!"

To be continued...


Immediately!

"Stop it!"

"Why?"

"Because then you will go to jail and deal with those fools plus Milchama has no crime and we really don't want to start now"

"Fine"

"Thank you"

"You are quite welcome"

"So what about our second game?"

"Well considering the game wasn't important we played the Failures and they played well"

"Very well indeed. 3 goals. 2 for Evans and one for Timnack"

"Good man Timnack did my laundry as a kid"

"No he didn't"

"Fine"

"You know we're also ranked 1 in the world according to a random Green Wombat writers poll"

"That's awesome"

"Yes it is, it means that those KPB ranks our outdated and need to be changed"

"Yep"

"Cool"

"Well then there really is only one thing to say"

"And that of course is"

"COME ON YOU WARRIORS!"

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football
Cafundéu triumphant in damp squib
By Mack Hession

In retrospect, it couldn’t have been anything other than a disappointment for neutrals and the two sets of supporters alike. The Cafundelense fans at least had a two-nil win to savour, but for the Candelariasians this was another long and expensive journey, and ultimately fruitless. Lasft is nice to visit and all but, y’know, once you’ve seen one beach you’ve rather seen ‘em all. And we’re not exactly landlocked back home, are we?

I and my contemporaries must hold our hands up, of course. While the decision of the Herald and several other leading media sources in C&M to decline to report extensively on the Big Blues’ not unimpressive three-nil beating of the admittedly somewhat inadequate Jevian outfit, owing to the retroactive Writing Match Reports Involving Teams With No Rosters Tax anticipated to be enacted once we had touched down in the Empresses’ realm*, was undoubtedly taken with the greatest of care and consideration; it plainly did not aid the establishment of a greater air of anticipation back home. Coupled with Breno Gavião’s unfortunate head cold received despite the bracing sea air off the Kura-Pellandi coast**; a less than fervent football fan in either country could have been forgiven for failing to notice that this match was even on, despite the vast turnout at the Obelisco Monumental.

The rest of the world certainly maintained an interest, and for good reason – on a quiet matchday, only the Holy Empire hosting Az-cz carried the same caché, and neither of those sides can be said to carry much in the way of the remarkable about them. Aside from those looking forwards to Ad’ihan and Liventia (or possibly Liventia and Ad’ihan) politely kicking seven shades of compost out of each other; Cafundéu versus C&M was where it was at. Which is a somewhat unnerving thought.

Certainly from a Candelariasian perspective however, this game should have been full of any number of intriguing little facets. Though Cafundó do Juta itself could make similar claims, Lasft is arguably the city where Candelariasian and Cafundelense football has most intertwined; with Connor Mengucci at Petardos S/A and previously América, and Javier Sanchez as manager, Peter Waddington on the coaching staff and William Burgos as captain also enjoying lengthy spells at the Estádio Marte. Jos Cornelisse before them also had many moons at SC Lasft – where Khatib-Gassett native Brett Jusczyk is currently achieving well beyond his means – while MarquezOW veteran Careca and new Cathedral City star Jatobá hail from the city.

Mengucci was duly rewarded with one of the biggest cheers of the day when his name was read out, while there were rather more mixed reactions towards the man they (and we, annoyingly) call Dionísio. Perhaps the CMSC1’s reigning Sportswriters’ Player of the Year was simply overawed by the occasion, or too eager to impress, but the Cafundéu-born C&M star was on less than sparkling form; a few nice touches and a snap shot that stung the hands of ‘keeper Júlio Sampa in the fiftieth minute failing to make up for a string of misplaced passes and needless runs that left Tom Smith utterly without decent service for most of the match.

When Smith did find an opening his efforts were weak or off-target, or else the Arrigo Portuguese forward was easily dispossessed by Anatoliy Titov, the Squornshelan native (naturalising foreigners… now there’s an idea). A top-class performance against Nethertopia in the pre-qualifying friendly can’t serve to distract from Smith’s lack of confidence for club and country, and Kris Healy still has big decisions to make over the future of the first prong of the C&M attack.

Smith and Madeira Lobos were little more lacklustre than the rest however though, for all that, Joel Sbaïz was not unduly tested following his first-team return after missing the Universitus University game due, apparently, to “stress”. Perhaps, since the advent of the TQCC and Globe Cup, these two sets of players have simply encountered each other too often to be able to have summoned up particularly great excitement for this international. More likely, the game came too early in the campaign for either side to relax and play their natural game – for Cafundéu have seldom found qualifying easy as they truly should, and C&M have finished second in their group only the once in seven cycles, and third on every other occasion bar their first effort. The two sides merely tentatively prodded at each other, and wandered towards a goalless half-time status.

For all that Healy has been successful in adapting the Candelarias’ current pool of talent into a formation and outlook best suited to their skills, his own natural conservatism remained clear in Lasft. Jack Marshall replaced Dionísio after sixty minutes but, though the Marbles star has been the overdue revelation of the CMSC so far this season, he was clearly under orders to support Corradini and Mengucci first and foremost. A nil-nil draw would have suited the Big Blues’ needs down to the ground, but on seventy minutes Cafundéu were finally granted a set piece that proved decisive.

It probably didn’t help the Candelariasian cause that Carlos Marossi apparently knew enough Vephrese to proposition the referee to take a quick free-kick, following God’s Power Adekunde’s tackle on Augusto César some thirty yards out. Caught completely off-guard, the Candelariasian defence could only watch as Marossi’s ball swept in and home favourite Danilo Sampa got up ahead of Harris Dixon to nod home.

Dixon and Enrique Silva de Aviz, together forming two thirds of the A.F.F. back line over in Abadia, were again split barely five minutes later following a simple Cafundelense move down the centre. The WCC’s dubious goals panel will determine whether Sampa or Dixon got the final touch but, in either case, Candelariasian hopes were ended there and then. The Cafundelense cheered appreciatively meanwhile, but their own heroes’ performance had hardly been exemplary either – and the raw talents of Rennidan will have cause to eye the top spot after watching this match, never mind a second qualification. C&M will improve, and Cafundéu certainly will but, for the likes of this humble sports reporter, the spectacularly clean toilets at the Obelisco Monumental were about all we had left to enjoy.

Still, this being Lasft, at least we still had the bocce.

World Cup Qualification Group 10, Matchday Two
@ Obelisco Monumental, Lasft

Cafundéu 2
D. Sampa 70
Dixon og 76

Candelaria And Marquez 0


International Football Shorts

All eyes turn to Arrigo Having tasted defeat against Cafundéu, Candelariasian attentions have to turn the second city for the visit of Rennidan. Despite rumours to the contrary, Kris Healy appears set to name an unchanged starting XI, which would include Matteo Corradini meeting the Rennidanians for the first time since receiving severe facial wounds in an incident during the thirty-second Cup of Harmony. He will also resist pressure to drop Arrigo Portuguese stars Jamie González and Tom Smith in front of their home supporters.

Following the horrific events of almost two years ago, Rushmori time, any animosity between the two national teams seems likely to have quelled considerably, aside from the mutual desire to secure a World Cup place as early as possible. City Council leader Estela del Castillo (Unionist) has promised a “proper Marquez welcome” for both Rennidan and C&M, in the Big Blues’ only visit to the Estadio Arrigo Nacional this campaign.

C&M join the chasing pack The defeat in Cafundéu has left the Big Blues playing catch-up after just two games, following another pair of confident victories for Rennidan and Land de Wood. Cassadaigua got their debut campaign off the ground with victory over Saturday Sport to join C&M on three points.

Elsewhere, Taeshan and their Atlantian Oceanian protectorate Kosovoe are the surprise leaders in what looks to be a very open Group 1; while Kura-Pelland crumbled to a home defeat against C&M’s WC42 qualifying opponents Kenavt, prompting calls for an increase in the legal RP-inin limit despite the ongoing debate – particularly in the Candelarias – over the detrimental implications to the physical and mental health of athletes and casual users alike.

In the group with particular Albrechtine interest, fellow Rushmori competitor Nethertopia suffered a second straight defeat in qualifying against the Holy Monastic Republic, to be followed by more rumblings of discontent against the regime of former Scorpions boss Trevor Organ and the legendary Scout of Cafundéu. Sorthern Northland fell to defeat against the Capitalizt SLANI’s predictably uninteresting younger siblings of Jaseuyeon; but the surprise package are Valetaland, top with six points. Concerns have been raised over the long-term solidity of the Empire’s government however, leading to fears that the visit to Nethertopia could see the region face another footballing refugee crisis.

Kaleta rebukes McNeil Caires City Council leader Stan Kaleta (MLP) has insisted tonight on TV1 that any offer to host a potential Liventia home fixture in the city would be a matter for local and national government – and not the ownership of Caires City FC and the McNeil Bingo Arena.

Earlier, the aging leader of the McNeil Bingo group, Jacob Davis McNeil, told TV1’s ¡Buenos Dias! that he would be ‘more than delighted’ to offer up the 31,150-seater stadium in the Rider Castle district of the city to the Football Association of Liventia, as a means to diffuse the ongoing spat over the location of the next Liventia versus Ad’ihan encounter. The ‘home’ side’s captain, Colin Marshall, joined Caires City – the current occupants of the stadium – prior to the CMSC XXX season, and played an instrumental role in their unexpected title glory. Errant Knights matches and highlights are now regularly shown on Liventian channel BCL2.

However, Stan Kaleta – the chairman of the Kaleta Corporation, which as well as operating the Kaleta Online ISP runs several gambling outlets operating in direct competition to the McNeil Bingo group – has been quoted as being less than enthusiastic over the tentative proposal, citing the ‘administrative nightmare’ of handling thousands of travelling supporters both from Liventia and its former protectorate. Politically, Kaleta’s Modern Liberals are known to be supportive of the current Ad’ihan administration led by Prime Minister Alex Canning’s Green Party, a relationship that could potentially be damaged should political pressure force the FAL to reject proposals to play their ‘home’ game in Ad’ihan.

A C&M government spokesperson was unavailable for comment, though Secretary of State for Sport Nolan Parker told reporters this lunchtime that “fixed terms really are the way to go” and pleaded with the Liventian government’s coalition partners not to pull their support from Prime Minister Patrick Danahue since “it’s already a bugger to keep up with it all, frankly.”

Kaleta Online are the main sponsors of the CMSC and the Kaleta Online Dome, the current home of Caires Sports and Caires FC, which is due to host Saturday Sport in a World Cup qualifier later in the year.

* Or something.
** Or something.

Purple Knights Play Wentland Next

Wentland, Wentland. Yet again tjhey may damper are sucess inb aWorld Cup. In World Cup 42 they defeated the Knights in two qualifying games each by 2-0 scores. Yes, we can't defeat them. We do not seem to be as good as thgem like most teams. Its up to the team to suprise everone. That may not happen at the Colliseum tommorow, but hope is always good. We could cavenge a point from this match if we're lucky.

"Hey professor, professor!" Peter attempted to connect to von Steuben's phone through his own communications console. He managed to get through. "Are you all right?" he asked. "We'll guide you to the base..."

"Sanks for ze asseest!" von Steuben replied. "Boot now zey are focusink on ze bess. I'll get zere een time, boot you are needed for ze defendink!"

"Stay alive, then!" Peter said, as Russ pulled the machine up. "You're gonna have to punch it, dude. They've got a few minutes on us."

"Leave it to me," Russ responded. He reached for the 'F' switch, and the machine performed another midair transformation back into fighter mode. He swept the wings back and accelerated, pushing them forward into the battle.

The creatures were swarming over the base, creating a black funnel. They were simply flying circles above the base and every now and then would fire a random fireball at anything moving on the ground. Pilots attempting to reach their hangers had to steer clear of the attacks, while fighters couldn't taxi into position. Inoue and Sonya arrived in pursuit and immediately took stock of the situation. "No friendlies in the air!" shouted Christina from her co-pilot seat.

"They can't get off the ground!" said Inoue, watching the eyes pick off any ground vehicle that ventured out from safety. "We have to cover the runway!" She pushed her jet under the black cloud and avoided the hail of fireballs coming her way. Sonya followed, and the two planes were pushed into GUARDIAN mode for a quick turn. Once they were facing the enemy, they performed the final transformation. The main body now pivoted forward ninety degrees so that the fuselage and swept wings formed a chest and torso. Behind that, the arms and legs folded out completely and into their final configuration. The cockpit block retracted to safety, and the Rhinemaiden's switch to Robot mode was complete.

"Kaguya Control, this is Captain Hayasaka; we'll cover the fighters!" Inoue declared. "Continue their launch!"

"Roger that!" replied Simms from the command center. "Colonel Brandenstein, did you get that?"

"Loud and clear!" Brandenstein replied. His team was at their staging ground for tomorrow's planned exercise, roughly five miles to the east. His force consisted of around two dozen refitted DAM-15 Lancers, which specialized in close range combat. As the name implied, they were equipped with an extendable lance and had higher speed and mobility than most grunt units so they could be more effectively wielded. But they also carried standard arms, such as machine guns and rocket launchers, depending on the mission. Brandenstein's command machine marched in front of the others with lance already drawn. In the distance, he could see the swarm. Right away, you deploy a force that large? he thought. Impressive, but then again, I'd expect nothing less than the legendary demon lord!

A loud screech filled the sky as the demons became more chaotic. A few aircraft had made it off the ground thanks to the efforts of the Build Angels, and now they were under fire from them. The mecha of the Brandenstein's 89th were coming over the ridge at the far end of the exercise grounds. They were angered by all this interference! As soon as it had started, the swarm ended. The demons broke off into packs and went hunting, with a large contingent starting to bombard the base.

Their attacks hit the command tower, tearing through the outer wall and rattling those inside. The command center shook violently. "They've begun to attack us directly!" cried an operator.

Tetsuya clenched his fist as he watched the monitors, which fuzzed with every hit the building took. It was only a matter of time before power was knocked out, and then the buliding itself. There just weren't enough people out there. "Colonel, give us permission to launch!" he shouted at last. "It does us no good to just be standing around in here!"

"We haven't field-tested the combination!" Jun replied. "If we go out now, we'll..."

"There's no time, or this place will be overrun!" Daniel shot back. Jun was instantly quieted. "Colonel, I agree with Lieutenant Tsumura. This base should also have an emergency command center; it will be safer if we evacuate there."

"Agreed," said Simms, rising. "Attention, everyone, we're abandoning this building! We'll do as the prince suggested!"

"Are there any machines for me?" Daniel asked as everyone hastily exited the room, as it shook from another attack. Sonya had shifted her position to try and defend the building, but she was one against many and could only soften the bombardment while avoiding damage herself.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Simms replied. "If anything happened to you, your highness, we'd..."

"I graduated from the academy with..." Daniel began, but the argument was cut short by another violent explosion which shook the room. Sparks flew from computer panels as operators in the midst of purging the systems were thrown from their seats. Those who could raced for the door. Daniel was pulled clear by Jun and Tetsuya, while Joe, the colonel, and several others were close behind. Princess Erica was busy helping one operator to her feet when another hit crushed the ceiling of the control room. Debris rained down.

"HIME!!" Erica felt a strong push from behind as she and the operator sprawled forward. Chase smiled as his princess collapsed on the floor a few feet away, and then felt gut-wrenching pain as drywall and steel came down on top of him. He heard the sickening crack of bone and realized he couldn't feel his limbs anymore.

"Senpai!" screamed Erica, reaching her hand back towards him. "Chase!" She started to crawl towards his body, tears welling up in her eyes, but was stopped as Joe pulled her to her feet. She scrambled against his strength, but couldn't budge from his protective grasp. "Chase... no... we'd only just..." she choked.

"P-p-protect... her..." murmured Chase. "Get out... please..." Erica stopped her struggle but couldn't walk. Her knees buckled with her first step. Joe helped the other girl to her feet and then, muttering an apology, swept the princess off her feet.

More of the ceiling started to fall, burying him for good as Joe raced out of the room with the princess, with the remaining operator also well on her way. Erica was curled up in Joe's arms, tears streaking down her cheeks. She knew it was fruitless to save him. But she wanted to. Her fight was gone, and now she just sat there, tugging at Joe's shirt. "I'd finally met him again..." she said, almost in a daze. "I'd just..."

Outside, Sonya was having a hard time. The building behind her was in ruins and the command center had gone silent. Where was Brandenstein? Christina frantically checked for emergency broadcasts coming from the base... there weren't any. "Kaguya Control is completely silent!" she said. "Sonya!"

"I'm trying!" Sonya answered, strafing an incoming demon group. Her ammo gauge read empty. She jettisoned the old clip and reached for another; they were stored where the wing met the fuselage, which in this form equated rougly to the robot's hip. It clicked into place, but before she could fire, a she was knocked aside by a bit of the crumbling building. "Damn it!!" she cried, trying to regain control with the smaller thrusters around the body.

A trio of eyes appeared before them, glowing red. She clenched her teeth and waited for it... but the attackers evaporated. Purple goo slopped to the ground as a Rhinemaiden shot past and into the fray. "You girls all right?" came a voice over the radio.

"Y-you guys!" Christina stammered.

"You're damn right!" Peter replied, peering into the distance. A line of missiles coming from the direction of the 89th was heading into the enemy cloud. The Lancers were on his scope. "And it looks like we've got help!"

Another radio signal came in, faint and crackling, but nevertheless discernable: "This is Kaguya Control, please respond!"

"They're okay!" cried Sonya. The line of missiles tore into the demon cloud, cutting through bodies and then blowing others apart.

"We've relocated to the energency control bunker," the operator replied. "Build Angels, the 89th will now engage the enemy forces. Fall back to the bunker and cover the launch of the Beast Machines!"

"Beast Machines..." muttered Russ. "What are they talking about?"

"You there, Angel 2!" Inoue barked, causing both Peter and Russ to jump to attention. "For now, we'll consider you a member of our team, so you'll follow my orders, understood?" Russ and Peter dodged a hail of fire and flew down to ground level, transforming into robot mode to form up with the other two. Their machine landed with a thud and stood up. The base was in tatters, but the tide was turning. "Angels 2 and 3, behind me!" Inoue ordered. "we'll cut through them and get to the bunker. Once we're there, defend the hanger with your lives!!"

"What hanger? There's nothing over there!" Russ received Inoue's attack pattern but couldn't make any sense of it... there were no buildings. The entire thing was underground?

Two Pastoral Letters of Fr. Polycarp the Venerable
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee

Polycarp's Letter to Sorthern Northland

To the atheists of Sorthern Northland: Greetings

It has come to my attention that your God-scorning atheists did recently defeat the Archregimancy 3-2 at the James Connolly Stadium in Beningrad, a feat of which you must be most proud. Federluchi's shameless 54th-minute play-acting in writhing around on the ground in mock agony in a successful attempt to have a perfectly good goal by Fr. Rufinius disallowed, which would have given the monks a 3-1 lead, is something of which I hope you are much less proud. I may be a First Hierarch, but that doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two about football; I was the Archregimancy's first ever international captain and their second coach, you know.

In any case, it may have come to your football association's attention that I was recently elected to head the World Cup Committee. That means things are going to be just a little bit different around here from now on. First of all, the head of the World Cup Committee (ie, me), is to be addressed as 'Your Holiness' rather than 'Your Excellency'. Furthermore, while I wouldn't ask or expect your nation to actually convert to Orthodoxy - some miracles are a bit too much to expect, even in the Dreamed Realm - I would ask that your supporters try to avoid actively booing the Divine Liturgy during the return leg, or they might find themselves deported on the spot.

Just something to think about.

Yours in Christ

Fr. Polycarp
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee


Polycarp's Letter to Nethertopia

To the beloved of Nethertopia: Greetings

As the newly elected First Hierarch, please allow me to thank you for agreeing to serve as the opposition in the pre-enthronement friendly. While you may have lost 3-0, I note that in last night's match you only lost 2-0 to a brace by Poeman. Keep up the improvement, and you might only lose the third match 1-0! That's the spirit!

In any case, I couldn't help but notice that your fine footballers and accompanying officials - particularly the Scout - seemed to be genuinely honoured to serve as the opposition in my enthronement friendly. I don't suppose this means that your squad of delightful young men have considered converting to the One True Church? No? Well, you can't blame an old man for trying, can you?

Do please let me know if you ever change your minds.

Yours in Christ

Fr. Polycarp
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee

The F.A. has announced that Bostopia's home tie versus Kjomasasopia will be played at the Littletown Memorial Stadium, in Ulii, which is situated in Rennidan's Littletown District.

The stadium, in Ulii, (formerly The Emperor's Stadium) was renamed following the tragedy of Flight 109 in which Rennidan's World Cup 42 squad was almost wiped out spare Samuel Fortal, Daniel Samman and Harri Belon along with their manager Ryan Malkoa, who all caught different flights for varying reasons.

Money made from ticket sales will be given to a charity in Rennidan for disprivalged youths. Also, every Bostopian who travels with the team will before the game be paying tribute to their fallen footballing friends whom they never had the fortune to meet.

World Cup 43 Qualification - Group 6
RQ1: ---
MD1: @ (10) Han 0-3
MD2: vs (31) Krytenia 2-0
MD3: @ (118) Dariusville
MD4: vs (66) Greal
MD5: @ (159) Vlaskin
MD6: vs (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD7: @ (19) Demot
MQ1: ---
MD8: vs (10) Han
MD9: @ (31) Krytenia
MD10: vs (118) Dariusville
MD11: @ (66) Greal
MD12: vs (159) Vlaskin
MD13: @ (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD14: vs (19) Demot

The Catholic Times

Oh For The Glory!

The MSS team does not exist. Yet it manages to lose a match and win another! It can be noted that the chance that this would happen was just as likely as the Orthodox heretics would become the vaunted guardians of football itself. And it so seems that the WCC foolishly elected the very like to become their President. As such, the Holy See has issued a bull, declaring that the WCC is EXCOMMUNICATED from ever being saved from the grace of God until they reverse their decision; the fact that the Holy Father does not have legitimate jurisdiction over the rites of men to judge a person can never be saved if he has never even tried to be saved in adherence to Catholic doctrines was lost in the details; additionally, that MSS belongs to the WCC was also lost in the details.

As such, Pope HONORIFICABILITATIBUS has declared that he shall appoint a right and promising man to become the One True Representative of the WCC. The College of Cardinals is expected to elect this new Sancta Papa Pediludii - Holy Father of Football. Candidates are being accepted now, from all Holy Catholic brothers and sisters in the Church. Laity are not permitted to submit any offers, but monks and nuns will be allowed to apply if they are found to be of sufficient faith to take upon the orders of the office. If interested, you will need to submit a long letter to the Holy Father, along with your credentials and the reference of another superior bishop to your status. Naturally, archbishops are excluded from this last requirement.

These developments come ahead of the match against the Darwinville monkeys, against whom the Holy Father decried the "blasphemy of their forebears". This contrasted with existing reports that they would be playing against humans from Dariusville; it is largely suspected that someone is playing a joke on the MSS - regardless, the fact that no team will be traveling to Darwinville has significantly saved the Treasury the expense of paying for players (not that we paid saints or demons in the first place...) or their plane tickets. If the programme turns out to be very successful, I expect that the Holy See shall trust perpetually upon the grace of God for all of their matches.

Bright light. A blink. Another blink, eyebrows pushed upward toward the forehead in an attempt to stretch out the eyelids and let them focus. Focusing. Sore head.

Very sore head.

A ceiling? Walls? Nurses?

Nurses.

“You're awake then, Emperor?”

“It would,” he said groggily “appear so.”

Or was he? Was he still asleep and dreaming? There were no slides around suitable for tobogganing.

Toboggan!

“How's my toboggan?” He asked, getting his priorities straight, ignoring the pounding in his head, or who was in charge.

“Sire, it wouldn't be fit as firewood.” The nurse said sympathetically.

“Oh,” the Emperor snivelled. “Who's in charge?”

“The Prime Minister. Or at least he was.”

An hour later, and Sentor, not looking best pleased, walked into the room.

“You're awake then?” He said.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” The Emperor replied.

“Concern for your well being?”

“Concern for a loss of complimentary biccies for the bloke-in-charge more like? I did count how many were on my desk before I went tobogganing you know.”

“I never doubted it Boston, not for a moment.”

“Ooh, getting friendly now are we Sentor?” The Emperor tried to retort.

“You always call me Sentor, so you failed that game, yes?

“Of course. Now, what's been going on?”

“Well, remember The Archregimancy was invited to put forward someone to be World Cup Committee President?”

“Vaguely..” the Emperor replied, sticking a finger in his ear, which he noticed was beginning to block up.

“Well, they put forward-” the Emperor started attempting to clear his ear as Sentor spoke “Fri- -carp to be President, which they've turned into the position of First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee.”

“Fri-?” the Emperor began.

“Yes. Now, in more pressing issue, I need you to give me power over a football team – namely The Bostopian Empire.”

“Go ahead, go ahead.” The Emperor answered in a fashion, who was still confused about the placing of a fried carp as First Hierarch.

“Brilliant.” Sentor said with a grin, walking out of the room with what he thought was some power intact, though slightly nervous after pinching a chocolate digestive of the Emperor's desk a couple days ago.

The Emperor, meanwhile, a letter-headed pad and a pen.


Dear First Hierarch Fried Carp;
I do hope this letter finds you well. Firstly, let me congratulate you on your appointment as First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee, and wish you every success in this role. It is amazing that you have managed to attain this role, and a statement to young children of every creed and species that anyone can achieve anything if they set their mind to it.

Yours Sincerely

Emperor Boston
Empire of the Confederate States of the East and West Isles of Bostopia

Please find a basket of chips with this letter inside the box.


And that was that done, the Emperor thought. Everything would be rosy between his nation and the World Cup Committee for another term.

Alan Sentor strolled happily back into his office. The meeting with the Emperor had gone successfully, and though he had to replace a chocolate digestive, and the “Empire's team” had lost 7 – 1, things could have been worse.

He may not have had gotten control of the team. Now he had them, the propaganda could start with a new swing. Photos of Sentor travelling to games to “support” the team, meeting the locals around the Empire, all looking star-struck that the Prime Minister of Bostopia would want to visit them.

Of course, things wouldn't go to plan.

Bostopia, let alone Sentor wasn't popular amongst a large proportion of the population of the Empire. Oh, they'd be ready for him if he came looking.

And he didn't know it.

The following is a letter intercepted by the World Wide Mail Service, from the leader of Viltek to the current reigning head of the World Cup Commitee.

Heylo Friur Pollycorp

I am leeder of Viltek people, great nation on wurld. We however wondering if you gief us money pleez?

We in wurld cop, and we playing big, scary, voodoo face teams with dung for brayns. But we have no stadium to play big, scary, voodoo face teams in. We just have mud.

We can give mud for moneys if you wants.

It good mud.

Much respect for you and your funny religion which worship man on cross.

Mayor Electoral Nomad Tribal Chief King President Emperor of Vilteki Land,

Gus.

P.S, why he look so sad when on cross? It nice cross.

I want to tell you a story
About a little man
If I can.
A gnome named Grimble Crumble.
And little gnomes stay in their homes.
Eating, sleeping, drinking their wine
And playing in goal for Az-cz.

He wore a scarlet tunic,
A blue green hood,
It looked quite good.
He had a big adventure
Amidst the grass
Fresh air at last.
Playing in goal, biding his time.
And then one day - hooray!
Another way for gnomes to say
'Against the Holy Empire I'll play!'

Look at the pitch, look at the crowd
Isn't it good?
Look at the pitch, look at the crowd
Isn't it good?
Playing in goal, finding places to go.
And then one day - hooray!
Another way for gnomes to say
Oooooooooomray.
Ooooooooooooooomray.

Whoops, looks like he's conceded two
With no reply
Silly little gnome.

Scene: A dingy bar in the slums of the South by Southwest neighborhood of Alalanta, after the team returns from their thrashing as Bostopia.

“Benjamin, I'm going to make a call. Watch the rookie.” Said Anthony, leaving to go somewhere in the back.

“So what are you doing playing with these thugs, man? You don't seem like the other two at all.”

“I was at a college in Saint Simona. I got on the wrong side of both the Security Ministry, and a bunch of wanna-be favela gangsters. So...” Benjamin is rudely interrupted by a incredibly sloshed Revy coming over his shoulder.

“So we gave him a job before he ended up as filler in some stadium project. But to hell with that. We came all the way back here from Bostopia so we could get drunk, so here, drink this.” She pours 2 short glasses full of rum, passing one to Rokuro, before taking hers to the neck.

Meanwhile in the back...

“I don't like the response we've gotten from the Ministry of Sport about some of the changes I made regarding pulling you guys in. We made a few subtle intra-office inquiries, and they want nothing more than to see this sport eradicated, and nothing would be better for that than to see you guys get demolished like what happened at Bostopia, instead of doing silly things like winning. So word cvame back, that they're going to try to take you out of the game. They get some people through the back channels, and you've got some hooligans sent to break bones. A division of thugs from the Hivemind, it seems.” said the shadowy female voice, over the phone.

“Not good, the Hivemind only scouts former soldiers and policemen. People that can take orders.”

Right about then, the windows broke as smoke bombs and the buzzing sound of...kazoos filled the air. The men of the Hivemind quickly entered the room, beating people with their truncheons and generally breaking anything they could find.

“Break anything that can be broken! Don't leave anyone not scarred up, this is what they get for fraternizing with soccer players!”

“Revy, get out there and show them why they call you Two Feet!”

Revy jumps out from behind the bar where they had been prudently hiding, and proceeds to literally kick the bejesus out of everyone in the room. I'm sorry I can't describe it better, but my vocabulary's too limited to even begin to explain wtf happened here. I mean literally, it was on some John Woo type movie ish. With that said, as son as she finished literally stomping a mud hole in some poor guy's azz, they escaped to the getaway car.

Outside the bar, the broken and bruised hooligans take a second to recover. “I'm sorry sir, we thought they we're just a bunch of soft soccer players. We shouldn't have let them...” he's cut off by his commander.

“No big deal. We know their itinerary. They're going to go to the game, and that's no big deal. But when they leave, they have to go to the Airport, and they're falling into our trap, they don't even know it yet.”

"At least this one was predictable." Bob and Sjon had just been watching the game from back home. The two Nethertopians had just seen the two Poeman goals again. NPBC Sports' The Third Half wasn't half as fun as when the Falcons would win.

Sjon growled. "Bloody foreign managers. Always the foreigners who're screwing up."

"Oh, come on! No coach I know would've won that match, those monks are just unbeatable for a team like ours. Those guys just have more experience than us." There was a silence, the two men watched some of the broadcast.

"...upporters agreeing with me, this has to end somewhere in the near future, Jens. Our poll shows us that 56% doesn't believe in the couple anymore."

"Indeed, Tycho. Now, we're returing to the Archregimancy, where we have our reporter Chuck Luck standing next to Abdoulaye Soro."


"Abdoul, you were swapped for the third time in a row and again before the break. Does this bother you?"

"Yes, of course it bothers me. Not the fact that I was changed, but that I can't be there for the team. If a captain can't lead a team, then why should he be captain?"

"Do you fear for your basic position?"

"What would you do if you were The Scout?"

"Err... I don't know, I'm asking you..."

"If I was the coach myself, I'd bench me. I'm off form, it seems."

"Time for a subject change, what did you th..."

"Urgh... I can't take it anymore. Bob, I'm going home."

Bob sighed. He stood up and turned the tv off. "Great idea, Sjon. It was a tiring match."

"You can say that again. That was almost so horrible for our team that I fell asleep. My house, next game?"

"Sure. I'll bring the popcorn."

"Frig. Stupid monkeys can't do anything right."

"Ooh... Douggie, don't say that! They tried their best. And besides, it's never good with you! If they win, it's not good. If they lose, it's no good. They can't do anything right in your eyes, indeed!" Brother Jeffrey had finished his rant to the professor. "I think they're doing excellent. They're just monkeys."

"You are wrong about that... They're ninja-monk-monkeys. That's why they're able to play football. Show them some respect, Douglas, or they might come right back to haunt you..." Kamutsa's words weren't quite inviting.

The professor laughed. "Yeah... Like those monkeys will escape their cages and attack me at night. You know, since we changed to a democracy, I've only kept this job for the money. And I'll keep it for that."

"Guys, can't we just continue with what we were doing before this discussion started?" Asked Harrington. "We've got a full schedule to do... What were we doing anyway?"

"Cleaning the cages, removing monkey poo," said Jeffrey.

"And that's one of the reasins that I hate those bloody monkeys."

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Hard F**k Hallelujah
By Rami Niblick in the Unholy See

SO, how do you play football against something that doesn't exist? Moreover, how do you lose to a team that doesn't exist? And what exactly is the point of fundamentalist Catholicism? These are the surprisingly metaphilosophical questions raised by last night's game between Krytenia and the ethereal prescence of Magna Sancta Sedes.

Quite how to describe the match...we're not sure. When the television screens only show the team in sky blue, when the Krytenian faithful refuse to recognise the home team, when things just seem so...wrong, the only thing to do is shrug your shoulders and move on.

So, Krytenia find themselves inexplicably bottom of the group after two matches, but eager to sink their teeth into their opponents like a hungry Vilteki. Those potential victims are the nation of Greal, who have made a moderate start to the campaign and will be looking to take advantage of the situation.

Magna Sancta Sedes - 2
We saw nothing.

Krytenia - 0

Sometimes things just get wierd, I mean, things you expect to happen don't and instead something way off left field happens instead. The logical course of action for David Hawdon would be simply to wait this out. Unless something unexpected happened then I couldn't see any way for him not to get back to being the PM, but well, I'll let you hear what happened.

There was a press conference David Hawdon was standing in front of a mic flash bulbs going off at random intervals, he was about to speak and did so.

"Thank you for coming today, I have decided to step down as the leader of the Neo-Liberal Party. This is not because of the Judicial Inquiry, nor the Convservative Alliances allegations, however this is something I have been thinking of recently and with everything being taken to a head I have decided that I need some time off it. I have discussed everything with the current Acting Prime Minister and he will lead the party until a new party leader can be selected from amung our ranks. This is not because of Manhattan Prime, nor any other event, this is a personal decision, and as a result I would like some privacy. I have not left my constituency but I will not be in parliment."

So there you go, David Hawdon stepped down of his own accord... I didn't know then the reasons behind it but I did think it extremely weird so I got a PI friend to do some investigation for me.

A brief look at the PI in his car with Binoculars.

That's him, I don't really know what he did, or how he managed to do it, but well, let's just say we did find a connection to what's going on in Manhattan Prime. And part of it had to do with an unexpected visit to the Islands of Qutar to support 'national spirit' In the Bazalopes away game there. This is what he saw...

There was a dark figure, He couldn't see properly they're weren't any real street lights in the area. A parabolic mic was about 100m away from the conversation being held yet it picked up everything.

"Are you sure this information is accurate?"

"Yes, the agents involved are on the inside. An MP contact confirmed that."

"Alright, so I assume you've passed that information onto the Pacitalians and Lamonians?"

"Yes, Mr. Prime Minister."

"And they know that there are 2 friendly agents inside?"

"They do, and they are aware that they don't want to be acknoweldged but there will be a code phrase that they will say to identify them as such."

"Good, alright... I better go, the team is having a reception for me..."

So there you go, It seemed to be all a rouse, David Hawdon was still PM but, what about the accusations? Were they real? What about the legal issues. This all just raised more questions and I needed to find legal answers...

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
A Globo Multimedia partner

WORLD CUP 43 – VALANORA AND VEPHRALL
Full coverage – including comments from Breno Gavião, notes by Sílvio Ruiz and interviews by César Lang
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EFFICIENT PERFORMANCE IN VICTORY AGAINST BIGGEST OPPONENTS

http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/3814/img03np9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Players getting ready for game against Candelaria And Marquez

The Monopolists started this World Cup qualifiers very well, with two consecutive victories. It is correct that this result was the expected one for a country like Cafundéu, but we must remember that we often have difficulties in this phase of the World Cup, often losing to small teams or in home games. But, if these two games will represent the Cafundelenses’ attitude in these qualifiers, we couldn’t ask for more. The excellent victory in the game against Candelaria And Marquez showed that the Monopolists are playing seriously, and in an efficient way. We have already won the game against our biggest rivals in the group, a game that worried most supporters.

The win over Candelaria And Marquez can be a sign that this time Cafundéu can qualify easily, or at least is this what we expect. Six points in two games is the best the team could achieve, but we can’t forget that there are more twelve games to be played. And, if teams like Urna Eletrônica and Valetaland are with a perfect record too, this is because the standings at this point of the qualifiers usually are very open to changes. We have to keep the good performances to guarantee the qualification, of course. But, from now, let’s talk about the happy days we had already have, about these two victories, especially the last one in Lasft, in front of the fans.

GAME AGAINST SATURDAY SPORT: and now we reach our most impressive information of this report. The coverage of the first game of the qualifiers, against Saturday Sport, was responsibility of Breno Gavião, who has his own team and was going to travel to the artificial island to give us news of this game. Although the Cafundelense government didn’t recognize the existence of a country named Saturday Sport, considering the island part of Kura-Pelland, the Monopolists played a game. But Breno forgot this. The whole country was talking about the football game against the “non-nation”, but a place with intense media coverage (by radio). Breno didn’t notice it.

So, we couldn’t bring to you the match report of this game, only late images and information given by a supporter that travelled to Kura-Pelland to see the game. Later, Breno Gavião released a note commenting about the mistake. His story says that he was very sick the day before the game and, to make things worse, he had hit his car in the door of a event hall in Vephrall and had to take it to the mechanic. While in the mechanic, he didn’t notice that he was in the day of the game against Saturday Sport, only noticing that three days after, something that he often does. He apologized for the confusion and said that he already has a new car (as if we were concerned with that...).

Thanks to our devoted supporter, we were able to have some information about the game. According to him, the Cafundelenses seemed confident in a victory, so confident that they forgot that the game started and only played with the ball in the first minutes. Thanks to this, the players from Saturday Sport were able to score first, with Highfield. When the Monopolists noticed they had suffered a goal, the reaction came. Fifteen minutes after, the result was already four against one, and it increased to five before the end of the first half. In the second half, with the victory already secured, the coach decided to make some formation tests in the team, something that didn’t work very well, although the team could score one more goal. In the end of the game, Highfield surprised everyone scoring another goal. But that wasn’t enough for his team, and Cafundéu won the game.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (he remembering that there was a game): “You see, I was drrrrrriving to that house in Vephrrrrrrall to watch the grrrrrroup drrrrrraw of the qualifierrrrrrrs, but they didn’t have any parrrrrrking spaces left! Suddenly, when turrrrrrning the wheel to trrrrrry to find a place, I hit the door… and my car ended this way. Arrrrre you surrrrrre you can fix this? I mean, this is a good car, I’d like to keep it. It’ll be rrrrrready when? Okay.”

(days later)

“Oh, thanks for helping me with my car, you did a good job. Well, let me wrrrrrite a cheque to pay for your serrrrrvice… which day is today? What? Arrrrrre you surrrrre? Cafundéu played thrrrrrree days ago! Oh my God, I forrrrrgot this, I had to be in that place called Saturrrrrday Sporrrrrt! I didn’t said the name of our sponsorrrrrrs, we’ll lose a lot of money! How will I explain this to my childrrrrren?”

http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/7268/img023jn8.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Photo taken by a Cafundelense supporter in the stadium of the game against Saturday Sport (Globo Multimedia didn't broadcast this game)

GAME AGAINST CANDELARIA AND MARQUEZ: the second game was completely different of the first, both in difficulty level and media coverage. While in the first game Globo Multimedia completely ignored the game, this time they gave a high value to the broadcast, calling the viewers to turn the TV on for the game against Candelaria And Marquez. The supporters were anxious to see the game. It didn’t involve just the two best teams of the group, but also many stars of the Cafundelense league, on both sides. Players of the opponent team, like Mengucci and Dixon, were praised, and Dionísio received a mix of applauses and boos. But the game itself, although not bad, wasn’t what the supporters were expecting.

Both teams seemed eager to win, but the dispute was so intense in the midfield that was difficult for any of them to reach the attack. Candelaria And Marquez even had some good chances in the initial minutes, with Dionísio and Smith (who didn’t play well), but both Júlio Sampa and Titov showed why they are among the key players of the team. Cafundéu soon tried to reply, but the best that the team could achieve was a long ranged shot by Silveira. The ball hit the bar, and Enrique took the rebound instead of Da Silva. Few attacking chances in the first half, and some supporters started to predict a goalless draw. But that wasn’t in the plans of the coach Júlio Vargas.

In the second half, the substitutions showed that both teams viewed the draw in a different way: while Healy took a defensive approach, willing to get an important point playing away, Vargas put one more attacker in the team (Fausto), willing to get the victory at all costs. And the offensive style suited the team well. Marossi, who talked with the referee during the whole game (even receiving a yellow near the end of the game [the referee seemed tired of talking with him]) took a free kick with speed, and Danilo Sampa headed to score. Later, it was Silvinho who made the pass to Danilo Sampa that ended in a goal… but, this time, it was an own goal. The Cafundelenses seemed happy with the efficient victory. The C&M coach seemed disappointed. Even Cunningham, who plays in Cafundéu under the command of a Marquesian coach, didn’t play well.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Danilo Sampa’s goal): “Foul over Augusto César, Morrrrreirrrrrra aprrrrroaches the ball to take it. Marrrrrossi is near the ball, chatting with the rrrrreferrrrree again… he decides to take the frrrrrree kick by himself, surrrrrrprrrrrrises the opponents and even his team mates! But not Danilo Sampa, he appearrrrrrrs, heads the ball… look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! I want the rrrrreplay! Danilo Sampa, number nine! Cafundéu one, Candelarrrrrria And Marrrrrquez zerrrrrro! A goal in the rrrrrright moment for Cafundéu! If you want to see your childrrrrren happy, give them a Brrrrrincamais toy! Brrrrrrincamais, the best way to see you child smiling!”

For the next game, against Cassadaigua, Cafundéu has two absences: first, the attacker Danilo Sampa, who left the last game laughing and saying “he shot to his own goal!” He seemed so impressed that Dixon scored an own goal that he couldn’t stop laughing after that and was sent to a hospital to be treated. The other absence is of Da Silva who, after the game, went to a party with friends. Got drunk and, when he returned to the Clube Imperial training field, was hit by his coach Javier Sanchez with a training cone, and had to go to the hospital. According to a witness, Sanchez was furious when he discovered one of his players went to a party after defeating the National Team of his home country. Sanchez told the press: “I didn’t expect that a training cone could be so dangerous. I thought that it would hurt just a bit.”

INTERVIEWS WITH CÉSAR LANG: well, we couldn’t make interviews with the players after the first game against Saturday Sport, but now we can! And I’m sure everyone is happy with the result, a good victory over Candelaria And Marquez. The coach Vargas said: “Of course we are happy with this result. But we have to say that we were expecting to win it, as it is necessary to get points to qualify. Unfortunately at least Danilo Sampa will be out of the next game, but I think we can substitute him well.” Captain Titov said: “We defended well, and didn’t give chances for them to attack. A good result starts with the defence, and our team could notice it and apply this idea. After that, we just had to take advantage of our chances to win the game, and I’m glad we did it.”

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 3 (the own goal): “Augusto César with a long pass to Fausto, but he loses the ball in the midfield to Cohen. Missed pass by the midfielder, Silvinho takes the ball and rrrrrruns to the attack. He seems deterrrrrrmined, rrrrrreaches the attack, looks at the arrrrrrea, makes the pass, Danilo Sampa trrrrrries to avoid the marking… and look at that! Look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! We must see the rrrrreplay to underrrrrstand this play! It was an own goal! Own goal by Dixon! Now the scorrrrrreline is Cafundéu two, Candelarrrrria And Marrrrrquez zerrrrro! New and used carrrrrrs, in excellent state, you can find in Barrrrrrrrroso’s car dealerrrrrrship! Located near the Obelisco Monumental!”

http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/5500/imagemxh3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Júlio Sampa makes a save in the game against C&M

SATURDAY SPORT 2x6 CAFUNDÉU

Place: somewhere in an artificial island.
Attendance: 1,100 people (laugh).
Time: 16:00 Cafundelense time.
Climate: clear, 30ºC.
Referee: Michael Stew (Qazox).
Assistants: Craig Mitchells (Qazox) and Vicky Mesh (Green wombat).
MOTM: Marossi (Cafundéu).

SATURDAY SPORT: Williams; Daniels, Welbeck, Shaftesbury, Grosvenor (McLachlan 73’) and Bowden; Ricksen, Lavigne and Burgess (Violet 45’); Highfield and Omdurman (Davies 45’).
Coach: that man in the bench… or not?.

CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Alex, Titov and Luizão (Renildo 45’); Silveira, Zé Sho (Cícero 55’), Da Silva, Augusto César and Marossi; Moreira and Danilo Sampa (Alves 72’).
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

Goals:SSP: Highfield 9’/85’.
CAF: Augusto César 11’/39’ , Marossi 13’/17’ , Titov 20’ , Silveira 68’.

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CAFUNDÉU 2x0 CANDELARIA AND MARQUEZ

Place: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft.
Attendance: 273,556 people.
Time: 22:00 Cafundelense time.
Climate: clear, 26ºC.
Referee: Jehoepe Sepeedrius (Vephrall).
Assistants: Pentoeps Shrifflu (Vephrall) and Jones Berg (Bostopia).
MOTM: Danilo Sampa (Cafundéu)

CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Alex, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Zé Sho (Fausto 45’), Da Silva (Silvinho 63’), Augusto César and Marossi; Moreira (Fabinho 80’) and Danilo Sampa.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

CANDELARIA AND MARQUEZ: Sbaïz; Dixon, Adekunde, Williams and Enrique; Mengucci, Corradini, Cohen, González (Kortsarian 82’) and Dionísio (Marshall 60’); Smith (Cunningham 75’).
Coach: Kris Healy.

Goals:CAF: Danilo Sampa 70’ , Dixon (own goal) 76’.

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Line-up for the game against Cassadaigua: Júlio Sampa; Alex, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Zé Sho, Rossi, Augusto César and Marossi; Moreira and Hubert.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.
Style of +2.5

Referee: Cerne Radek (Taeshan).

(OOC note: match report of this game will be together with the report of the game against Rennidan, to be written on Thursday)

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Goalscorers:

2- Marossi, Augusto César
1- Titov, Silveira, Danilo Sampa
1 own goal

Dancougar News!!
16 pounds of glorious master grade plastic :3 (http://www.hlj.com/product/BAN907985)

Seven past Bush: Many said the Black Wings would have six points by now, but nobody expected them to come like this.

The Dancougar Black Wings travelled to Adoros and were expecting a feisty atmosphere, but they were the ones who brought all the energy in a 7-1 thrashing of The Bostopian Empire. The Black Wings, eager to shake off the "slow starter" label applied to them by the media, matched the output of the Glaycia game by halftime and saw both forwards come close to securing hat tricks. And any criticism of new coach Solomon Bilbao ought to be muted for a few weeks.

The Wings broke the game open within ten minutes, with Shishio Jinguuji taking advantage of a poor back-pass by Manjit Kulmar in the third minute. Steve Bush was stranded, and Jinguuji poked a low shot past him for the lead. Five minutes later, midfielder Benjamin Whittaker made it 2-0. He attempted a cross that looked like it would curve out of play, but Bush saw the danger and retreated to cover the ball, which dropped over his head and off the fast post.

The Black Wing midfield not only contributed to the team's dominance in possession - over two thirds of the first half - but also accounted for three of the team's five first half goals. After Whittaker's strike, Kazuki Midorikawa made it 3-0 in the 27th minute after making a diagonal run. He was able to hold off a challenge from Mike Forside and create a shooting lane, and scored from eleven yards out. It was 4-0 in the 31st when Whittaker notched his second goal on a free kick, and Jinguuji finished off the first half scoring in the 39th minute with a powerful header from Lyle Dylandy's cross.

"We showed our ability to move the ball around tonight and attack from lots of different angles," said Bilbao. "It's never easy to play a game on the road, so a win of this magnitude is really special."

Jinguuji went for a hat trick ten minutes into the second half, and his effort was parried right into the path of Dan Potts, who picked up his first goal of qualifiers with a one-touch strike past the outstretched legs of defender Forside. The shots continued to fly in. Jinguuji again missed his hat trick on a corner kick header, and Lyle Dylandy fired a shot that deflected off Peter Jenkins and hit the post. The Bostopians would make it 6-1 in the 74th minute on one of their few attacks, when Greg Craven took possession near midfield and took it himself into the Dancougar third. With Milan van der Horst moving to close him down, Craven sidestepped and fired a long shot which Yuji Watanabe was only able to knock down. Jack Austell poked it home to give the home fans something to cheer.

But the Wings would threaten thrice more, with Dan Potts' 76th minute shot the only one to hit the back of the net. Potts timed his run perfectly and was given a free 30-yard run at goal before a soft finish.

Solomon Bilbao might be criticized for running up the score, as he left both starting forwards on the pitch until the last five minutes, and only Jinguuji saw bench time. "The guys were in a rhythm, and I certainly wasn't going to disrupt that," said Bilbao. "We have a huge game with Starblaydia coming up, which will really tell us where we stand in this group. Twelve goals in two games means nothing if you can't get more in the third."

Matchday three preview: v Starblaydia (2-0-0): This will be a statement game for the Black Wings, and hopefully the statement is that their early form is for real. The teams sit first and second in Group 8, with Dancougar ahead on a commanding goal differential. But points are points; they're coming off a 3-1 victory over Newmanistan.

We wonder if the team is going to get too excited and lay an egg, but at home, the Wings should just sit back and play their game. The midfield has looked superb in the first two matches, and the team's been able to generate scoring chances on the ground and in the air. Shishio Jinguuji is playing like a man possessed with five goals in two matches, as his approach to Hideo Ikeda's team record takes on an air of inevitability.

Starblaydia is a mystery team at the moment, but make no mistake, they will come to Yuki City with their eye on the full three points. Dancougar have upset teams in the KPB top ten before, and they certainly have a lot of momentum from the first two games. The first goal will be crucial. Prediction: Starblaydia 2 @ 2 Dancougar.

Rankings update!: A huge 7-1 road win is going to impress the selection committee, since we all know how hard it is to win away from your home court. This sets up a juicy matchup with Starblaydia, who are also high up in the rankings after their 3-1 win over Newmanistan.

KPB: 23
ILA: 13 (Prev: 18)
HEX: 7 (Prev: 12) 1 first place vote

An open letter from the Sorthern government to Fr. Polycarp the Venerable
First Hierarch of the World Cup Committee

Dear Fr. Polycrap,

Our team of God scorning atheists did indeed recently defeat your valiant monks three goals to two, in what is indeed a great victory for us who realise there is no God, and indeed our team. Whilst I agree that the Federluchi incident did look rather dishonest, he assures us that he had a sudden asthma fit. However his story is less than convincing and we will get a disciplinary hearing on his actions with the possibility of suspending him for the next game if it does indeed turn out that his actions were those of dishonest gamesmanship rather than a genuine medical problem. Once again we apologise for his actions.

We would also like to congratulate you on your appointment as head of the World Cup Committee, we wish to dispute the necessity of addressing you as Your Holiness, due to our widely known non religious stance and in a bid to avoid offending religious citizens in Sorthern Northland who are of a non-Orthodox persuasion. Instead we ask to address you as, The Glorious Leader of the World Cup Committee and Respectful Father of the Dreamed Realm. As a gift to mark your election as head of the World Cup Committee, we were going to offer to send you a barrel of the finest ale in all Sorthern Northland, however we are unsure of how suitable this would be and were wondering if some Communion wine would be a better gift.

As for the booing of the Divine Liturgy, we as with the Federluchi incident apologise, but to be frank it is a bit overly long and boring.

Yours with the best intentions at heart,

Sean O'Donnell,
General Secretary of the Sorthern Northland Football Association


An open letter from the Sorthern Orthodox Church to Fr. Polycarp the Venerable

Fr. Polycarp the Venerable, be praised

It is with much distress that I write to you. Although born and bred in Sorthern Northland, I am by no means proud of my association with this nation of Godless heathens, and ask that you pray for us as we try to serve His Holiness, God in this feckless and sinning land. We are by no means perfect, and are as much a sinner as the next man, but we do all we can to repent for these imperfections.

Of course, the nation in which I am, and in which with the might of God, we shall convert to the One True Church, recently beat the glorious Archregimancy in World Cup Qualifying. Whilst the result disappoints us, we must respect the ways of God, and repent for our sins for which God has punished us by allowing the heathens of Sorthern Northland to taste victory.

The Godless heathen Adam Federluchi also of course was at the centre of much controversy and as such we will be in the following days and nights pray to God for repentance for the poor soul of Mr. Federluchi. Whilst we remain pessimistic, we will also God willing hope that Mr. Federluchi sees the error of his Godless ways, repents for his sins and dedicate his life to serving God.

Unfortunately the Godless mass of heathens who call themselves Sorthern football fans were also heard to be booing the Divine Liturgy. Again we will to the best of our God given abilities pray for the repentance of this sinners. For the return leg we shall attempt to force those fans to miss the game and think about what they did by sending 1000 Orthodox monks in the place of the fans. If we can find that many monks in this Godless hell that is.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. Meletius the Enlightened,
Faithful Servant to Promoting Orthodoxy in Sorthern Northland

Ryan Greenly was reading his mail and got message from the Jeruselem FA

...


Dear Ryan Greenly

Keep up the good work with our army team! It's early days yet but I'm sure as coach of Jeru FC you can guide our army team glory once again.

The Jeruselem FA is inviting you to a meeting in Jeruselem about the future of Jeru FC. Unfortunately, Jeru FC seems a little underfunded by the army and you don't seem to get the best army men for the football team. The Jeruselem FA is gathering a meeting of ex Jeru FC coaches to discuss ways of find news ways of getting premium army players into Jeru FC without spending too much money.

The list of coaches includes myself although I have coached Jeru FC but never at the World Cup level. Actually a Jeru FC player produced one my kids - Jacinta Sasha Dallas. I know you want the best players for Jeru FC without stealing them from Jeruselem clubs since they don't like putting expensive players in an army team since they don't trust the army with not getting them blown up in some accident.

I know you as a national coach of Qazox for 4 cups and me which coached Jeruselem in three cups can make some suggestions to allow the best army team to play in future World Cups. We aren't going get all stingy - with nibbles and water. We're going have proper food and good wine. Actually most of the coaches of Jeru FC have been women, so it's not just a men's club.

We haven't quite worked out the date of the meeting but it's going to be in the rest period of the World Cup 43. We hope to see you there! We know you have some great ideas from your experiences in Qazox.

I'm working on the army not sending Jeru FC team on boot camps in the bloody desert. We almost lost the Jeru FC team in a dust storm one occasion. I'll suggest safer places for boot camps. We need discipline but not putting our Jeru FC in the middle of a dustbowl. There aren't fighting a war.

Yoy, I think my test-tube sister Mary Sallad likes you. She's not married so don't be afraid.

The real president is still on leave. Apart from getting sick from bad water, he's got some weird ear infection from the same water. His hearing wasn't the best and it's worse now. So, Bike face is still in charge here.

Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas
Acting President of the Jeruselem FA
XXX

Greal Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS (159) Vlaskin (4-2)
MD2: Greal VS (19) Demot (0-1)
MD3: Greal VS (31) Krytenia
MD4: Greal VS (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD5: Greal VS (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD6: Greal VS (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD7: Greal VS (118) Dariusville
MD8: Greal VS (159) Vlaskin
MD9: Greal VS (19) Demot
MD10: Greal VS (31) Krytenia
MD11: Greal VS (46) Magna Sancta Sedes
MD12: Greal VS (165) Seventy Ninth Entrant
MD13: Greal VS (10) Daehanjeiguk
MD14: Greal VS (118) Dariusville


Greal VS Krytenia Preview

Greal will be playing the Krytenia today, their team is currently at the bottom of the group, after one loss, and one draw for them, while Greal has lost once, and won once. Ross Trent ad-knowledges that this match would be same as before: very hard. Krytenia is ranked twice as high as Greal, but both teams are the same size, and have the same determination.

Greal will be slightly aggressive today, while many defenders will be back to protect the goalie from any attempts from Krytenia to score. Howard Anderson and Sebastian Expan both recovered from their injuries and will be playing today, ensuring that Greal will have extra firepower to score. Again, Greali Television predicts that hundreds of millions will be watching the match. Besides that, Greal will remain a bit defensive also. One football expert says that both sides are evenly matched.

In other news, there are reports that Howard Anderson will not come back for next year's World Cup, which he denies.

Both Mrs. Cohen and her son were walking home, almost at the front door.

"Why don't you find a nice girl, I hear Janice gives it up easily..."

"Mum!"

"Oh, how about one of those lovely Dallas girls, I'm sure one of them is available..."

"Mum, I'm not going to get matchmaked by you, I mean, last time you tried I ended up with a Transexual."

"If you'd go out there and find a girl then that's fine."

"Well, I'm not dating any Yafalonian, I hate them. I hate them with a passion."

They came up to their door and opened it, to find that Mrs. Cohen already had a 'guest'.

"Now, boy, go up to your room, they're plenty of lovely Yafalonians. I don't want to hear anything more about it. Your father was a Yafalonian."

"MR. COHEN WAS NOT A YAFALONIAN HE WAS A BAZORITE." the 30-year old boy exclaimed very loudly while tripping over a gourd.

"Owch, damn Gourd. Why do you keep it around?" he stopped and paused.

"Because it belong to one of your great, great, great, great, great Gandfather's uncle or something like that. Anyway go to your room I've got business to talk about."

"Hit me again Hoit, it's been a rough afternoon mate."

A slouched over short, lean, and exaughsted man called to the bartender as he finished another shot of whisky. Despite being a man of importance, which was quite clear by the quality of the suit he was wearing, he was very dirty in his physical appearance. The grizzly five o'clock shadow masked his age well, and his unkept mass of hair fell down past his shoulders. By all accounts, he looked like a man straight out of the woods who had kidnapped some important official and stole their outfit.

As the barkeep refilled the man's shot glass for the fifth time in the hour, a pair of recent arrivals to the pub sat on either side of the scruffy man. Though they had paid no mind to this man, he seemed to get agitated by suddenly being crowded in. In truth, the pub was sparsely occupied this night, and either he or the duo could have easily found a different place to enjoy their drinks without confrontation. Yet something inside of the man refused to allow him to act rationaly about the situation and threw the man to his right glass against the wall.

"I have no traveled through the Hellfire to be treated like some ghost by a pair of souls that have yet to even enter maturation. Be gone you pups lest you care for things to escalate, and if that is your choice, I hope you have lived a very full life, for this would be your last day to breathe the free air."

Showing the confidence and arrogance of their age, the two young men laughed at the scruffy man's boast and mocked his threats by feigning terrofied looks. Beneath his mangled mess of hair, a sly grin appeared on the man's face before in a blur of fists and coattails, the two young men were falling to their knees, clutching their hamstrings. Slowly, pools of blood emerged from two clean and deep cuts in each of the young men's leg, and the culprit was walking out of the door.

"You youngsters should have just taken his advice, that is Trian Falk. You know, the $1,000,000,000 man. It's rumored that he once killed an entire battalon of the Empress' Imperial Guard with nothing but a sword and a card at his disposal. But I guess you'll know better from now on, as I doubt you will ever walk again, that man never misses with those famed daggers."

Twenty years. That's how long it had been since Conor Mac Conchobhar had last stepped on the soil of An Blascaod Mór. Since then many things had changed, back then Sorthern Northland was enjoying it's first years of independence, he was just a boy then. Now he was a man. Conor pondered this as he watched the Sorthern countryside flash by from his seat on the express rail service from eastern Sorthern Northland to western Sorthern Northland. The train by now was traversing the western lands of Sorthern Northland, getting closer and closer to his home off the west coast, he was getting closer to stepping foot on his homeland for the first time in twenty years.

When he left An Blascaod Mór, all those years ago, he left with dreams. Dreams to be a professional footballer. He travelled the world in search of a contract. To Cafundéu, to Candelaria And Marquez, to Valanora, to Daehanjeiguk, to Septentrionia, even to Ad'ihan but nowhere did he ever make it as a pro. In the end he found himself in the Dreyher Islands off the Sorthern coast playing for Oast Orient. It was the first time he'd felt truly happy since leaving An Blascaod Mór. He never achieved his dream of being a professional, even when a Sorthern Third Division club offered him a contract on the back of his performances for Oast Orient. He rejected that offer, due to his new found happiness on Dreyher, and he wasn't slow in realising why it was here of everywhere his travels had taken him that he was happiest. Dreyher, like An Blascaod Mór was a remote island, it was just like his home and after three years he decided he no longer wanted to be somewhere that was just like his home, he wanted to be home.

It had been a long time though, and as the train approached the Sorthern town in which the ferry back to the island departs from, he began to feel nervous. His leaving, all those years ago hadn't gone down to well on the island. Would they still resent him for leaving? An act some saw as turning his back on his home, his people, and his country. Twenty years on, would they accept him back? He knew he'd be in the Island's football team when he got back but was he still good enough? The Island team were now a Sorthern Second Division team and he'd spent the last few years in an amateur two team league. It was certainly a step up, especially as the Island now played internationals as well.

Whether or not he is good enough he'd find out soon enough, for his first game would be against Valetaland , a lowly ranked unheard of country. If he couldn't hack it against them he certainly wouldn't be much use for his homeland against the likes of Sorthern Northland, The Archregimancy , and Jaseuyeon. If he could however, perhaps he'd be able to settle in nicely back home and earn the forgiveness of his fellow Islanders.

MD3 scores are posted. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=14145969#post14145969)

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem loses another game after losing Sadie

Kura-Pelland beat our Princesses 2-1 at home after losing Celina Sadie Dallas (aka "Dopey" Dallas II) early. The former Jeru FC player was taken off the field after getting tackled from behind and went down hard. Players heard a rather audible cracking noise as Sadie screamed from the pain. Later Doctor Sally Dallas, the Jeruselem team doctor, and a relative of Sadie ... said it was broken leg and she was out for the rest of the campaign. The loss of Sadie put the Jeruselem defense on edge. KP took advantage pressing the Jeruselem defense without Sadie in the centre of defense. Things got worse with Jacinta Sallad having dizzy spells and having to go off as well.

KP took advantage scoring two goals with a Jeruselem defense missing two key defenders. Jeruselem fought back in the 2nd half despite trailing 0-2. Jenny Sloan scored a goal in 70th pull one back but KP stood firm in defense with Jeruselem pressing hard for that equalizer. Kate Sallad hit the crossbar twice late in the game but KP won 2-1 against Jeruselem.

Jeruselem's 1-0-2 record puts them at the bottom half of the table but we aren't the worst high ranking team in Group 9. Secristan beat Pistachio throwing Septentrionia ONE NIL to put Septentrionia back in 7th. Septentrionia are at a 0-1-2 winless record. Things are looking bad for the top two seeds in Group 9 but Jeruselem is known for it's fighting spirit when the going gets tough and we tend to finish strongly at the end of qualifying.

KaMaRi wasted their chances against Deceased Writers Guild with a draw 1 ALL. They top the table but a win was really needed against the lowest ranked team in Group 9. Kenavt having beated both Jeruselem and KP, fell asleep against Chutnusak with a draw. Kenavt dropped from 1st to 2nd with this draw and should have won too.

Jeruselem in trouble - with challengers drawing games when should have won, Jeruselem are far from finished.

Jeru FC pushed on with a 2-0 win over lowly Islands of Qutar but this was overshadowed by Bostopia's 6-1 trashing of The Macabees. Jeru FC stay 3rd in Group 3.

Merghinn's Sorthern Northland recovered from their recent loss to beat Onimar 4-2. SN are doing well unde the guidance of Merghinn ... maybe too well?

The Archregimancy are having a shocker like Jeruselem with 1-1-1 record as well.

Jeruselem play KaMaRi at Dazza Dallas stadium next. While Jacinta Sallad should get over her dizzies. Sadie Dallas is gone from the squad. Hopefully, we can find a new defensive combination now. Rumours, Princess Marie-Antoinette might be put into the squad for more attacking bite.

Dr Sally Dallas said
"Jacinta had an allergic reaction to something in the air. It wasn't life threatening but quite incapacitating still. We are going run a battery of tests to see what it is. The trouble seems to be we don't seem to have that agent in Jeruselem so it's hard to get something to trigger the reaction. It's weird has got the same issue but then they have different fathers. None of other Dallases seem to have this issue to compare to."

She said about Sadie Dallas
"It's pretty bad. She'll be out of any sport for quite a while. The only sport she'll be getting is on a soft bed."

Today's Sponsors are Hyeondae Motor Vehicles - "You Ride on Us!" The reward shall be a model toy car, made completely to scale. The car is exactly like the real car. And painted on the model car is a "#1" sticker that is self-adhesive and removable from the side of the car. And for today's winners:

Most points earned (MD3): Australiah (+21.60)

Most ranks earned (MD3): Australiah, Krytenia, Kura-Pelland (+8)

Congratulations to the winners! (Australiah only gets one car)

And your updated MD3 ranks:

1 916.87 0 Valanora
2 902.30 0 Bostopia
3 886.95 0 Milchama
4 866.73 2 Bazalonia
5 866.10 5 Daehanjeiguk
6 865.26 -2 Starblaydia
7 865.08 2 Tynelia
8 864.21 -3 Capitalizt SLANI
9 861.59 2 Qazox
10 860.50 8 Kura-Pelland
11 860.13 -3 The Archregimancy
12 855.77 -5 Cafundéu
13 850.03 4 Wentland
14 846.82 6 Candelaria And Marquez
15 844.35 -1 Demot
16 840.42 -1 Jasīʼyūn
17 840.12 -1 Vephrall
18 838.62 -6 The Holy Empire
19 838.05 -6 Dancougar
20 837.09 1 Ad’ihan
21 824.90 1 Yafor 2
22 824.42 4 Sorthern Northland
23 819.13 0 Lovisa
24 818.72 -5 Jeruselem
25 817.48 4 Az-cz
26 799.58 8 Krytenia
27 794.41 0 Taeshan
28 792.70 -4 Kelssek
29 791.58 -4 Quakmybush
30 785.85 -2 Rennidan
31 779.89 -1 Jeru FC
32 771.18 -1 Septentrionia
33 770.86 -1 Prux
34 770.25 -1 Yafalonia and Bazor 2
35 766.77 2 Newmanistan
36 759.57 -1 Blouman Empire
37 735.37 -1 KaMaRi
38 732.77 1 Green wombat
39 729.67 2 Terreiro de Ogum
40 709.80 0 Land de Wood
41 707.41 -3 Magna Sancta Sedes
42 692.16 3 West Zirconia
43 687.13 -1 Kenavt
44 684.35 0 Kosovoe
45 681.60 2 Arroza
46 680.11 -3 The Macabees
47 670.42 -1 Universitus University
48 647.61 0 An Blascaod Mor
49 624.93 4 Cokenia
50 619.10 0 Greal
51 618.63 -2 Glaycia
52 595.29 -1 Liventia
53 563.37 -1 Magnus Valerius
54 561.27 2 Secristan
55 541.41 -1 Urna Eletrônica
56 540.27 -1 Myedvedeya
57 528.47 3 Linpada
58 526.70 1 Nethertopia
59 524.39 -2 Cassadaigua
60 513.49 1 The Islands of Qutar
61 510.31 -3 Thoughts of Randomness
62 495.98 0 Dariusville
63 450.08 2 Bushdome
64 443.64 0 Alversia
65 439.37 1 Kjomasasopia
66 439.29 1 Docky
67 438.38 -4 Valetaland
68 420.22 0 Tortuga y Hispaniola
69 415.86 1 Colbourne
70 409.28 -1 Deceased Writers Guild
71 293.38 0 Vlaskin
72 126.05 4 The Bostopian Empire
73 113.28 8 Australiah
74 98.81 0 Miroxia
75 98.44 -3 Panuul
76 95.89 2 United Island Empires
77 94.80 -2 Chutnusak
78 86.32 -1 Onimar
79 85.98 1 Viltek
80 85.91 -7 Seventy Ninth Entrant
81 83.10 1 Swilatia
82 81.70 -3 Saturday Sport

Notes:

* Ranks only include teams participating in the World Cup!
* All zero-ranked (0) teams were given a uniform 100 score.

Knights Tie Wentland 1-1

Yeah baby. They got a point to keep the group 1 lead.(cheers) Wentland who is infact one of the top 20 teams in the world could not overcome those scrapping Knights in the Atlantea Colliseum. Are home tactics of freezing the enemy in are harsh climate prevails again. There still thawing out from the match, recorded highest temperature 10 F, in Wentland. These were the harshest conditions ever for a World cup game i beleive. There was even a stopage of time one time because the ball got stuck to the fiberglass on a Knights header that may have won the game.

The begining foreshadowed a loss. Yes, the Purple Knights scored first on a Brian Ying Uing header. Then the Wentland team mosied around till the second half to score there goal that kept the game at a tie. It was a horrible display of soccer and hopefully the next 3 games, all away, will be better starting with the Docky game.

Captain:Reinhold quit lollygagging around and get to your station
Reinhold:Yes, Captain
Captain;I Want to make my own Capital one Credit card. Low paybacks, no fines, money for frewe and a picture of the Kosovoe Soccer Team.
Reinhold:Ahh Ninja Monkeys
Captain:Aha Captain Monkeyface. You evil Bastard
Monkeyface:Was up old captain. Kill anyone lately.
Captain:Not that i can think off, and anyways i was only trying to date rape your mother. I ddn't mean to kill her
Monkeyface:Ah but you did...To Be continued

The two pais-de-santo, Pai Adoniran de Makulé and Pai Jacinto de Babalorixá are talking about the performance of Terreiro de Ogum in the World Cup qualifiers...

PAI ADONIRAN - "A good start for our team, my friend..."

PAI JACINTO - "But it was a victory against a weaker team, we didn't even need the help of the Orixás in defeating that one..."

PAI ADONIRAN - "True. But, if the help of the Orixás wasn't necessary, this can mean that our players are learning to play football using their own ability, something that the Orixás asked them to do."

PAI JACINTO - "You're right. It is the first step to qualify for the World Cup. If we follow the Orixás' instructions, they'll grant us this gift."

PAI ADONIRAN - "But there is still work to be made. Look at what happened in the second game."

PAI JACINTO - "Yes. When the players noticed that they weren't as good as their opponents, they started to beg for the help of the Orixás, something that didn't came..."

PAI ADONIRAN - "They hoped that the Orixás would give them the victory alone, without using their footballing ability."

PAI JACINTO - "The Orixás even help us, they give us some of their power, they give some strength to our players..."

PAI ADONIRAN - "But we should never forget that they have bigger plans... they want us to use both the faith and the footballing ability in the games..."

Someone approaches them and says...

INTRUDER - "What a crazy discussion... and I thought I heard crazy things at the Institute, man, you are even more idiot than those doctors, man, I should shoot you (points a gun at them) to show you the truth... these spirits don't exist, man, only we, the people, exist, man, and if I shoot you... you won't meet them, man."

PAI ADONIRAN - "Who are you?"

TROMBADA - "My name is Chicão Trombada, man. I fled from the Landau Institute some months ago and since then I became very interested in football, man. I want to coach a football National Team, man, and yours seem a good choice, man. You have a bunch of crazy people, drunk and religious people together, a capoeira fighter, dwarves, a marijuana addict... man, that would be a nice job."

PAI JACINTO - "You fled the Landau Institute? So you... were a patient?"

TROMBADA - (furious, throws his bottle of cachaça on the ground and points the gun again at them) "Patient, me? Man, don't say this, I was just a guest there, lived for some time there... I am not crazy, man, I am not crazy! Say this! (continues pointing the gun at them)"

BOTH - "You... aren't... crazy..."

TROMBADA - "Nice, nice, you are learning, that's good. Man, I left that Institute and I really need a job as a football coach, I am perfect for this job, I know how to motivate the players, man, I know how to pressure the referee, man, I know how to put a team to win games... I can even invade the field naked to stop a game if we are losing, man!"

PAI JACINTO - "That's... interesting. But we don't need you. Get out."

TROMBADA - "What? How can you ask me to leave? I invaded even a Globo Multimedia television program!"

PAI ADONIRAN - "We saw that."

TROMBADA - "How? I thought you didn't have televisions!"

PAI ADONIRAN - "We have. We love to follow the soap opera... "The Yaforites"... by the way, have you seen today's episode? I lost it!"

PAI JACINTO - "I did!"

PAI ADONIRAN - "You remember: last episode ended when Idurv Odakale was running away from that drug dealer that loves samba, lives in the favela and has three girlfriends... one of his killers was assigned to kill Odakale, but he was able to flee and enter in the house of one of the drug dealer's girlfriends... then, she gave him shelter, and he ended sleeping with her..."

PAI JACINTO - "Yes... today, the drug dealer discovered what happened and was furious! So, he promised to kill Odakale with his own hands. Decided to go after him and, when they were in front of each other, the police arrived..."

PAI ADONIRAN - "Oh, I have to see tomorrow's episode!"

TROMBADA - "Are you ignoring me, man?"

PAI ADONIRAN - "Leave, crazy Landau Institute patient!"

TROMBADA - "I'm not crazy, man!"

Trombada points the gun at Adoniran and shoots. But he is so bad at shooting that, even less than 2 meters away from his target, he missed it, even after shooting 5 times.

TROMBADA - "You escaped today... but I won't give up! I need to coach a football team!"

Trombada leaves, and the two pais-de-santo continue discussing about the soap opera.

THE ROCKET REPORT

WET & WILD VICTORY

Tundra Falls, Newmanistan- The rains just wouldn’t stop. On top of that, heavy winds made for some very difficult playing conditions with temperatures just above freezing. Was this a message from the Spirits of the Proving Grounds or was it just their way of wanting to have a little fun with the Rockets and the “rain-ing” Baptism of Fire champion? Many journalists called it the worst weather they had ever seen for a World Cup qualifying game in Newmanistan, and in fact there was some people wondering if the Empress should suspend the game in the 60th minute. “We were aware of the impact of the rain, but our forecasts seemed to show us that the worst part of this storm would pass through an hour or two after the game was over, so this caught us all by surprise. But this is the World Cup, and sometimes you have to play in bad conditions. The grounds crew did a good job with the field, but I’m sure this was tough for everyone involved. There is no way, however, that we would end a World Cup qualifying game prematurely even the Rockets did seem to have a comfortable lead in the latter stages.” said the Empress in a post-game media conference. The Rockets did a good job in a game that they could not afford to lose if they are going to qualify out of the group. In fact, they did a spectacular job and didn’t seem to be impacted by the weather much at all.

It took a few minutes before the rains began. The opening of the game was played under grey, overcasts skies, and you knew it was about to get real wet, real soon. It was cold, and it was windy, but we didn’t think that this would affect Myedvedeya too much, as that nation has a very cold climate. In the 11th minute, the skies opened up and they never let up. Here was the rain, and a lot of it. Both teams slowed down the pace of the game and Nikolai Dolohov, who plays his club football right here in Tundra Falls and club teammate Tony Borsinger exchanged several laughs over the course of the game. The Rockets seemed to be the more comfortable team in the rain early on, probably just because they were playing on a familiar turf. They also felt confident that if they could get shots on keeper Boris Bykovsky that they could score goals. Bykovsky plays professionally for the Pocono City Capitals, which is of course, the domestic team coached by Brian Carson, who leads the national team. Carson has plenty of respect for Bykovsky, but he also knows where he is the weakest, and in a game that the Rockets absolutely needed three points, there wasn’t going to be anytime for “being nice.” In the 30th minute, Brett Carlson, who also plays for the Capitals blasted the opening goal of the game by Bykovsky, after getting a nice pass from Alex Parnett. Carlson too, came into this game with a lot of confidence given he takes shots on Bykovsky nearly every day in practice. Carlson’s score was the only goal of the first half as the teams went to intermission to discuss how they were going to handle the rain.

The Rockets did feel as though they could use the foul weather to their advantage, and they changed to better cleats to handle the sloppy footing of the field. The Bears were struggling, and they sensed it. They knew that Myedvedeya would have much preferred to play this game on a nice sunny day, and maybe the rain was a way that the Spirits of the Proving Grounds were going to help Newmanistan win a game that they had to have. They talked about ways they could beat Bykovsky, but the best motivation of all was to not disappoint the fans. If the players thought it was difficult to play in this, just imagine how hard it was to sit in the stands. The fans of Pocono City gave them a ton of support against Starblaydia but they could not get it done for them. Now, it was about some redemption. Here, they would take care of business.

The intensity level between the two teams was obvious in the second half, as it appeared as though Myedvedeya wanted to play defensively, and perhaps steal a quick equalizing goal in the counter attack. This wasn’t a bad strategy, necessarily, it just wasn’t the right idea for what they were about to face. The Rockets certainly benefitted from being able to change their cleats at halftime, and the change in the way they handled the sloppy pitch in comparison to their opponents was very obvious. In the 48th minute, the Rockets sent a quick message. They didn’t score, but they had not one, but two shots strike the goal post in a span of less then 60 seconds. They were coming. In the 53rd minute, they put one behind Bykovsky, delivered by Alex Parnett off a pass from Dale Stevens. Then, just four minutes later, they struck again as a long pass from Parnett (who had a great game tonight), found Brett Carlson. Carlson caught the speedy defender Ivan Romasko upfield, and Romasko could not recover in time in these conditions, plus the fact that Carlson is no slow poke himself. Again Brett was in on his Capital teammate, and again, Brett fired a shot home, his second of the match to make it 3-nil. Not to long after the strike is when the rain absolutely got ridiculous. There came some concerns about the safety of the players especially given the fact that the Rockets had a 3-goal lead, but no one was really interested in making excuses. Both teams wanted to finish this game out. For Newmanistan, it was about playing for pride. For Myedvedeya, they refused to admit that the game was out of reach, showing that competitive fire that helped lead them to the Baptism of Fire championship. Still, all of this could not outdo mother nature, as she continued to pound the field with torrential rain, making the action on the field move very slowly. Fortunately, no one got hurt, and in the 84th minute, the fans who stayed got one more reason to cheer when Shawn Drummond took a pass from Jeremy McAllister and slid it to the left of Bykovsky to make it 4-nil. This would be the final score, a big win for Newmanistan that they hope to build on. Next up for Newmanistan is a critical fixture. At home, with Lovisa. The extended forecast for Loudon that day calls for, well, more rain. But forecasts can change.

Here is some post-game reaction:

Carson: "The weather made for tough playing conditions, but in qualifying you have to be prepared for anything. Given that, I am very happy with our effort in this game. We knew this would be an important match because we respect what Myedvedeya is capable of doing out there since we know how hard it is to win a Baptism of Fire."

Hennis: "Fortunately, the guys in front of me did a good job and I didn't have to worry about the rain that much because they weren't getting a lot of shots on me. We did a great job containing Vorotaev, defensively."

Brooker: "It was probably a little easier for us once we got out in the lead, and knowing the Proving Grounds more then our opponent did. We joked as a team that the Spirits would not allow it to rain if they knew it could hurt us."

Carlson: "It's just real great to be able to contribute to the team like that. Getting two goals in one qualifying game is really an exciting thing. I guess my confidence was at a high because I was very familiar with Bykovsky and the kind of keeper he is. He stops me alot in practice too, but today was our day."

McAllister: "Every single one of us needs to be proud of what we accomplished today, getting a win in tough conditions against a worthy, upset minded opponent. We're at 1-1-1 right now, and got our big game against Lovisa next. If we can build off of this, I like our chances of getting three points in Loudon very much."

NEWMANISTAN 4
Carlson (30', 57')
Parnett (53')
Drummond (84')

MYEDVEDEYA 0

(OOC: Yes, this RP is by a Philadelphia Phillies fan inspired by last night’s game 5!)

The main body of eyes had shifted east to engage the 89th, who were holding their ground with intense gunfire. But there were still groups roaming the remains of the base, shooting at anything left behind. The three Rhinemaidens had adopted a triangular defense formation to stave off the attacks. The lustrous bodies the planes had started with were now dust-covered and ragged, singed from near misses. Russ breathed heavily as he shot down another. He was soaked with sweat.

"On my signal, we'll charge to the staging area!" called Inoue. "They're leaving the base, so we should be able to pound through. Then we'll pinch them between us and the Lancers!" There were probably only fifteen or twenty eyes left between them and the spot they'd been told to cover, which was indeed a bay door to the underground hanger which housed the Beast Machines.

"Hey, hot shots, you think you can handle point?" challenged Sonya.

Russ furrowed his brow and eyed on the target point on the other side of the base. He checked his ammo gauge. Plenty left for a single charge, then he could swap in his last clip for the final defense. "Only if you can keep up!" he replied.

"Let's go!" yelled Inoue. Russ switched into GUARDIAN and was first to break formation. Sonya and Inoue broke into a run and also transformed, allowing the three to coast through the enemy. Russ focused his fire straight ahead to clear the path, while Sonya and Inoue picked off the demons to the sides.

Christina maintained contact with the emergency control center. "Beast Machines will be ready to launch in three minutes!" she told Sonya. "Brandenstein's 89th is dropping back and drawing the main body farther away, and he says they can hold for five!"

"So much for the elite Lancer corps," muttered Inoue. "But we're low on ammo ourselves." The three machines finished their run and discarded the wasted ammo clips. No enemies were left in the base proper, and they came to a hover over the hatch. Russ looked down... indeed, this didn't look like pavement. The three chose a side of the hatch and came to a rest on the ground in robot mode. "Now we wait..." Inoue sighed. The low hum of the Rhinemaiden was now audible, and it was a smooth, quiet machine. The sound of gunfire was now far to the east.

********************

"All I have to do is move it and shoot, right?" Prince Daniel was adamant about joining the battle in defense of the base. But Colonel Simms remained firm.

"Your majesty, I understand how you feel, but this machine is just too complicated!" he replied. The Laser Liger, now without its pilot, sat quietly in the hanger. Like Jun's Land Cougar Magnum, it was a quadruped machine in the shape of a predatory cat. Its sleek lines hid numerous gun placements and missile pods which could pop out at a moment's notice. Laser Liger's most powerful weapon was a mouth-mounted laser cannon, while the Magnum could boast a high-caliber artillery gun.

Joe's Burly Mammoth looked more like a gigantic tank than the animal it was named after. It had the highest power output of the four machines and had hardpoints for energy cannons and missile pods under its thick armor. Each of its four legs housed a powerful engine for hovering, allowing the bulky machine to move freely on the battlefield, and the freedom of movement in the legs allowed some degree of banking if it managed to get up any speed. It lacked any close combat weaponry, although one could say that its momentum was enough.

Tetsuya put on his helmet and climbed into the cockpit of the Screaming Eagle. His was the smallest Beast Machine, but to compensate it had the highest speed and maneuverability of the four. At its core, it was just large jet fighter, although it had a more powerful engine, advanced avionics, and the ability to generate a high-energy field around the entire body.

"It's okay, your highness, I can fight strong enough for the both of us," Jun said, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Please, it's too different from..."

"I have to go!" shouted Daniel, losing his composure. Jun took her hand off of him and took a step back. "If I can't even protect this place, how the hell can I be expected to protect my country?" he asked. His voice wavered a little. "I know I can't be the pilot Chase was, but as long as I can shoot the enemy before me... isn't that enough?"

Tetsuya could hear the prince plead his case as he closed the cockpit hatch. Joe was already warming up the Mammoth, and Tetsuya likewise began the startup sequence for the Eagle. There was no time to grieve for their fallen comrade. The base had been totaled, and civilians would be next if they weren't able to stand here. Prince Daniel... if he's as good as Chase said he was... he might be able to do it.

"Nii-sama can do it..." murmured Erica. She was standing next to Simms with her head down, hugging herself quietly. Her uniform, pristine when she had arrived, was now wrinkled and torn, covered in dirt and sweat. Her hair was a mess. But none of that mattered. "Lieutenant Villareal... Chase always said... that the only reason he was so strong... was because he wanted to surpass brother."

"Erica-hime, that's..." Jun began.

Erica brought her face up from the floor. She wore a forced smile, her eyes still shimmering with tears. "I couldn't save him, and I can't avenge him, either," she sobbed. "But he always told me... he knew that you were the strongest... that's why brother can do it." Daniel hugged his sister. She buried her face in his chest. "Beat them..." she said. "Once this is all over, I can be strong again."

"You're already strong, Erica," Daniel replied. He stood aside and sized up the Laser Liger. "I'll be taking this, then," he said, walking towards the cockpit.

Jun no longer objected. Instead, she turned and walked to her own machine. Simms put his hand on the princess' shoulder and then the two walked back to the control center where the final launch preparations had begun. Jun jumped into her machine and strapped herself in. I won't lose two teammates in one day, she promised herself. I'll protect you, your highness...

Daniel got into the cockpit and got accustomed to the controls. At their most basic configuration, they looked like any standard machine in the fleet. With that, he could do basic maneuvers and a launch the Liger's simplest attacks. Chase, I won't be able to satisfy your spirit with my current skills. But I promise you... one day, I'll pay them back a hundredfold!

"Beast Machines, launch sequence is Eagle, Cougar, Mammoth, Liger!" announced the operator. "Main hatch, open for deployment!"

********************

On the surface, Christina monitored the situation from her console. Peter did the same. "Hey, Russ, looks like we're about to get reinforced!" he said.

"All units, stand back for Beast Machine deployment!" ordered Inoue. An alarm began to sound as the ground buckled. Part of the ground began to descent from one side, while the other end rose to create a sort of sloped tunnel underground.

"Hey, Captain Hayasaka, things quiet up there?"

Tetsuya's gruff voice elicited a smirk from Inoue. "No thanks to you," she retorted. "What took so long?"

"Don't worry, I'll take it from here!" he said. "You girls just sit tight now!"

QNN
Where News Happens

"Qazox once again struggled to a road win, this time 3-2 over Tortuga y Hispaniola. Qazox fell behind 1-0 and 2-1 on 2 goals by TyH's forward, wrapped around a goal by Brittany Lopes in the 33rd minute. Trailing at Halftime, Qazox subbed out David Schultz for Benjamin Ernst and the switch worked, as the more offensive formation allowed Yolanda Christian to score twice to give Qazox the come-from behind win. Now at 3-0-0, and alone in 1st place, Qazox heads home to face Az-cz, a familar foe, and a team the Pheonix have never beaten. The game will be held at Qazian Memorial Stadium in Qazox City. A crowd of over 100 thousand is expected, due to the addition of 10000 bench seats along the endlines and sidelines.

The complete schedule and Results (Home games and Wins in BOLD):



MD1: @ Cokenia WIN 3-2 (Record: 1-0-0)
MD2: Swilatia WIN 5-0 (Record: 2-0-0)
MD3: @ Tortuga y Hispaniola WIN 3-2 (Record 3-0-0)
MD4: Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD5: @ The Holy Empire
MD6: Urna Eletrônica @ Estadio Azul Flores, Iguana de Mia. Capacity: 71,000.
MD7: Blouman Empire @ Estadia Pika, Pika City. Capacity: 78,625.
OFF DAY
MD8: Cokenia @ Toro Rojo Stadium, Las Vitas. Capacity: 70,000.
MD9: @ Swilatia
MD10: Tortuga y Hispaniola @ Toro Rojo Stadium, Las Vitas. Capacity: 70,000.
MD11:@ Az-cz
MD12: The Holy Empire @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000.
MD13: @ Urna Eletrônica
MD14: @ Blouman Empire


QAZOX SCORING today
Brittany Lopes- 33'
Yolanda Christian- 52', 80'


QAZOX OVERALL SCORING
Charles Marquis- 4
Yolanda Christian- 3
Raul de Olivares- 2
Jason Erca- 1
Brittany Lopes- 1


<Commercial break>

Now for international news. Prux has threatened to respond in kind if any of Qazox' escort fighters launch any attacks on Prux, its planes or its territories. Qazox has promised that the escort fighters will carry only minimal weaponry and will not fire their weapons unless fired upon first.

Stay tuned to QNN for more news as it happens.