NationStates Jolt Archive

CITIES OF FIRE

THE centre of the cities of Avidia, Emberton, and Aigburth were aflame last night in the wake of three days of rioting in response to the arrest of Rameses Niblick.

Protesters took to the streets on Friday evening, wearing sky-blue T-shirts and black armbands, and shouting pro-Krytenian slogans. When protesters in Avidia were met by riot police, violent exchanges ensued, with the officers overwhelmed. Word spread quickly of this capitulation, and hordes of pro-Krytenians took root in Capital Square, refusing to leave.

The worst violence, however, came in the cit of Aigburth. Home city of Dominique Starblayde, the protesters laid waste to the city, causing hundreds to flee their homes. Krytenian rebel leader, Felix T. Octavius, has declared a state of martial law in the province of Aigea, and his rule has been accepted by a large percentage of the population.

The Lady-Protector has been conspicuous by her public absence during the crisis, and rumours abound that she has fled the capital and hightailed it to Tabeck in East Starblaydia.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 41 COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

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NICE START IN THE WORLD CUP

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Valanora misses a chance from a free kick

The first game of the World Cup group stage. The Monopolists, after a common qualifying stage (difficult as ever), went to Ad'ihan to play against strong opponents: current champions from Valanora, Jeruselem and Taeshan (which wants revenge after WC40 playoffs). A very difficult group, which harmed the confidence of the supporters. They already had suspictions about the quality of the Cafundelense National Team, so they didn't really believe that the team could qualify... but the first game gave hopes to them, as Cafundéu drew with the current champions.

In the history, Cafundéu had to face the top teams in the World Cup many times. In World Cup 37, the team had to face Ariddia and Schiavonia in the same group, in the 38th edition Ariddia again, including a game against defending champions at that time Az-cz. In World Cup 39 Cafundéu had to play against Capitalizt SLANI, which were the hosts. And in 40 the Monopolists had to face the Capitalizts again, which this time were the defending champions. So, Cafundéu knows how it is to play against champions during the WC.

THE FIRST HALF: both teams showed offensive strategies since the beginning of the game, with Valanora using more the wings. Cafundéu, with Sodré's formation, used even more than usual the centre of the field, using the passing ability of Da Silva and Augusto César and the creativity of Moreira. This tactics seemed to work, as Cafundéu started to create nice goal chances and threatened Rowell many times. However, the Monopolists weren't dominating the game, and had to defend many times from the dangerous and fast attacks of the opponents. Night even made the ball hit the post after a shot.

The yellow-white team (that's Cafundéu with its away shirt) continued counting on the individual abilities of the players to attack with danger. In one play, Moreira made an excellent pass to Flecha. The attacker dribbled his team mate Hocn and shot to the goal. Rowell made an amazing save, and Rubiano failed to get the rebound. The game continued balanced until Cafundéu's goal. Augusto César controlled the ball, reached the entrance of the area and shot. Nickel blocked the shot. Fabrício took the rebound and shot, Rowell saved and Hocn tried to clear with a header. The ball went to Augusto César again, who, this time, shot with strength and scored the goal.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Augusto César's goal): “Ball with Vasco, makes a short pass to Augusto César in the midfield, the A.F.F. player contrrrrrrols the ball, no one challenges him, he is now near the entrrrrrrrance of the arrrrrrea, Krrrrrrries to face him, he decides to shoot... blocked by Nickel! Fabrrrrrrrício can scorrrrre frrrrrrom the rrrrrrebound... Rowell!!! Hocn fails in clearrrrrring the danger, a defensive mistake, Augusto César to shoot again... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Check the rrrrrreplay for me! Augusto César, number eight! Cafundéu one, Valanorrrrrra zerrrrrro! Want something nice to drrrrrrink with your frrrrrriends? Something to make you happier and funnier? The answer is Canabrrrrrrava Cachaça, the most alcoholic cachaça of the world!”

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Hawk commemorates goal scored

THE SECOND HALF: all that the coach Rivaldo Sodré and the players of Cafundéu wanted was to keep the good performance of the first half, and hold the opponents during the second. But Oronar was decided to win the game, and made two changes willing to make Valanora react. Not that they weren't playing well, but they were losing the game. These changes, initially, didn't work very well, with Cafundéu having more goal chances than the opponent, including an one on one between Rubiano and Rowell. But, after the twentieth minute, Valanora attacked... and very well.

First, Night received the ball from Alidare, dribbled Gaëif and shot. Moisés made a miracle, with a save that may go to history. Later, Hocn exchanged passes with Zetaback, who ended shooting to the goal, for another save of Moisés. Kries had a chance too, shooting twice to the goal. Moisés saved the first and the second went wide. The coach Oronar couldn't believe in the performance of the Cafundelense goalkeeper. But, the pressure was too much for the Ranca Toco player. Hawk invaded the area and was finally able to score, shooting while Moisés was leaving the goal. After the goal, both teams seemed comfortable with the draw, and the game ended 1x1.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Hawk's goal): “The Monopolists arrrrrre in a verrrrrry bad situation now, Valanorrrrrra attacks all the time, Moisés saving us! It seems much different than the dominating Cafundéu of the beginning of this half. Now it is Krrrrrries with the ball, pass to Frrrrrresco, grrrrrreat drrrrrribble over Gaëif, ball now to Hawk, the Petarrrrrrdos S/A player with chances to scorrrrrre, Moisés to trrrrry to save us again, the shot... and it's a goal! Goal for Valanorrrrrrra! Hawk, number fourrrrrrteen! Now it's Valanorrrrrrra one, Cafundéu one! Want to eat Zwangzug trrrrrrraditional food? And, what's morrrrre, quality pizza? And what about a good coffee? All these you can find in Mal Faustino's superrrrrrmarrrrrrrket, which now has a rrrrrrrestaurrrrrrrant! Open everrrrrryday, even on Sundays! Only in Abadia!”

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: the draw against Valanora seemed a very good result for Cafundéu. After all, the opponents were the current champions, and they were the favourites for the game. So, this result was to be praised. The coach Rivaldo Sodré said: "We must be happy with this result. A draw against the number one country of the world is an impressive result. Now we can be motivated and confident for the game against Jeruselem, where we can surely get our dreamed qualification after so many years. We are working for it, and, after the game against Taeshan, we'll see if we got our objective."

The players were also happy with the result. Goalkeeper Moisés said: "I'm glad to be able to help my country in this difficult game. I was so nervous that I did ever drink all the water that I put near my goal before the start of the game. In the end, we got a good result, and I'm happy to be considered the man of the match. Unfortunately I suffered that goal from Laborious, but nothing is perfect." Captain Flecha said: "A good start for us. Now we need to keep confident for the next game against Jeruselem, which is as important as this one."

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Cafundéu's players get prepared for the game

CAFUNDÉU 1x1 VALANORA

Place: Great Mets Stadium, in Ponte Sud.
Attendance: 88,000 people.
Referee: Fr. Luke the Fair (The Archregimancy).
MOTM: Rowell (Valanora) and Moisés (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Vasco (Marcelo Rocha 81’), Alex and Gaëif; Silveira, Da Silva, Augusto César and Moreira (Giovanni 67’); Flecha, Fabrício and Rubiano (Careca 75’).
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/elves_security_forces.png VALANORA: Rowell; Hocn, Nickel and Titenburg; Kries, Soldarian (Fresco 45’), Alidare, va Drake (Zetaback 45’) and Hawk; Razov (Soler 72’) and Night.
Coach: Rúmil Oronar.

Goals:CAF: Augusto César 38’.
VAL: Hawk 77’.

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Cafundéu – formation for the game against Jeruselem: Moisés; Ronaldão, Alex and Gaëif; Silveira, Zé Sho, Augusto César and Moreira; Flecha, Fabrício and Careca.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +1

Match’s Referee: Zet Plomaker (Zwangzug).

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WC Goalscorers (WC Proper):

7- Flecha
5 (1)- Augusto César
3- Fabrício, Moreira
2- Silveira, Alex
1- Da Silva, Rubiano, Valtinho, Marcelo Rocha

Dawn watched as a short haired men, wearing worn jeans and a dark jumper walked over to the desk in the corner, where the one who had taped her mouth shut last night was sat.

“So, what's this you wanned to show me?” The new man asked. “Me shift with this one,” he said, nodding toward Dawn, “starts in like 10 mins.”

“It's a video of the party's new aims and goals, they've put it on the internet.”

“Didn't think they'd put it on here? Bit offa threat to security ain't it, they can do a trace.”

“You reckon the boss is that daft?”

“Nah, probably not.”

Dawn heard a mouse click, probably to play the video, which instead of playing a list of aims and goals, played a synthesised drum roll.

“What the hells this?”

“Hahahahaha, you've been Rick Rolled!”

'Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down'

“Am I supposed to be annoyed or something?”

“Well, yeah, I showed it to Col and he was right upset.”

“Right, fine.”

The new man stood up and punched the older one in the mouth.

“I am very annoyed.” He said, sounded very scripted. “Happy?”

“No I am bloody well not! You've hit me!”

“Whatever. Your shift finished, now get lost.”

The first man walked out the room, putting his hand to his mouth and checking for blood, which there was none. Fortunately for him, his replacement lacked physical strength. Unfortunately for Dawn, what he lacked in physical strength, he made up for and then some in his ability to be rather sadistic.

Looking across at Dawn, who by now was looking very weak, he noticed her brown eyes were meekly looking up toward him through dirtied blonde hair.

“Now you, you look like a girl who wants something, dontcha?”

She could feel her own eyes widen, and began to shake her head wildly. She'd heard the far-right was bad, and rather good at 'improvising' to get information out of people, but like this was way worse than she could ever have imagined. It carried the death penalty, even the far-right, who implemented it, would have some respect for that, despite how hypocritical they were.

The new man looked puzzled.

“Christ, my reputation precedes me.” He muttered, while continuing to walk over to her. “Look, I ain't gonna hurt ya like that.” He said.

“'Like that', some comfort.” she thought to herself, her heart rate returning to whatever normal was.

“'ow long you been down 'ere anyway? Not that you'd know. Not that you'd be able to answer me either.” He snorted after finishing his statement.

Dawn hadn't really thought about it, but it must have been some time by now. Her stomach was empty and her mouth was dry. She managed to let out a dull groan.

“Oh of course, I speak groans don't I? You're going to have to try harder than that.” He took pleasure in saying that, as he pulled up a chair to sit opposite her. “Right, so, let's see, what could socialist scum like you want... a copy of the Guardian? No? Just say so when you want something. An all-expenses paid trip to Ariddia? Sorthern Northland? No, not on your itinerary? Shame, they're on ours, you would have loved to see the, ur, fireworks. Jeruselem's up for some fun as well, and not because their players are whores. It's a lot more simple than that.”

He paused his slight rant to look at Dawn.

“I know, you won't tell anybody will you? Not that you'll get the chance, we'll get what we need out of you, and then bang. Dead.” He let that sink in. “Meanwhile, I guess you're pretty hungry, and from experience, a starved dog is less likely to want to be co-operative than a full dog. Because that's what you lot are, dogs. Actually, that's not fair on the dogs.”

The new man stood up off the chair, and kicked it over to another side of the room. Walking out, she heard the door behind her slam shut. She sat in silence. Her head span as she figured out what was going on. The BNP were planning on killing socialists? Nothing new there, but Jews? What did the Jews do to them? Nothing, probably, just like all the other times they'd been persecuted and mass murdered. That seemed like a fair reason for everyone else, so why should they miss out on the fun.

As she began to wonder whether she'd see the light of day again, the door behind her was kicked open, and the man who had walked out a few seconds ago had returned, carrying two dog dishes.

“Figured if you were hungry, you'd probably be thirsty too.” He stated, with not a hint of compassion in his voice, putting the dishes down infront of her.

He grabbed a knife from his pocket, and cut the ropes holding her legs to the chair free, then cut her wrists loose from behind her.

“Right, word of warnin' to ya. What's gonna happen now is you're gonna get on the floor, hands and knees like, then I'll take the tape off yer mouth. One peep out of you, though, and you'll get it, right?”

She nodded her compliance, and the process of systematic humiliation was to begin.

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Printed in Exile

KEY ACTIVIST KIDNAPPED

A key activist in the Party for Social Justice has been declared a missing person by police in Levrittfield, Jaerring State. Identifed as Dawn Green, she was reported after not returning home following a key political speech held in private on Thursday evening. Due to the current political climate, her colleagues are reportedly reluctant to pass on too much information to the police for fear of arrest.

Dawn, 27, is white, about five feet seven inches, and has long blonde hair, brown eyes and is slim in figure. Anyone seeing a girl fitting this description – though many of you will automatically recognise her from party events – is to either approach if deemed safe, or contact the local police department immediately. However, as we do not know whether Dawn has been kidnapped or is lost hiking, extreme caution is urged, as predatory 'politicians' – or common thugs – may be in the area trying to find more targets.

Those sympathetic to our cause are urged to take greater care when attending meetings, and in their day-to-day lives on a general basis.

Russ, Peter, and the professor had a full view of the field from their bleachers. It was pretty hard not to, given that the seats were only half full. Well, it was an amateur league game, what did you expect? Mostly friends and family were on hand, and a few hardcore fans... Attendance was lighter than usual because the schedule conflicted with the opening round games of the World Cup, and most people were at home watching Dancougar and Squornshelous.

Peter was fiddling with his smart phone to try and get a matchcast over the wireless. "You know, we're supposed to be working, right now..." Russ said.

"Man, I'm only going to glance at it every few minutes... thing only updates every thirty seconds, anyway," Peter replied. "There we go! Now as long as the battery holds for two hours we're good."

"Using the wireless?" asked Russ. "You'll drain the hell out of it!"

"I'll worry about that later," replied Peter. "So... what do we have, the Black Knights. Coach is named 'Zero.' Assistant's name unknown. Players... all seem normal."

"Vat ees ze deal viss ze helmet und ze kepp?" asked von Steuben. Sure enough, Zero had taken the field with his team in full regalia.

On the field, C walked over to Stephen and whispered into the side of his helmet, "I'll keep you posted on the game, so you can just worry about the team. I've got my phone plugged in in the locker room. Good luck."

"May the only points won today be ours," Stephen replied. C walked back into the locker room, and the game began. Meanwhile, Peter glanced down at his phone to read what was posted...

16:30 | Welcome to DSPN.dan's coverage of World Cup 41 in Ad'ihan and Daehanjeiguk! What a match we've got for you today out of Group G between Dancougar and Squornshelous, two of the unbeatens during qualifying.

16:35 | TEAM NEWS: Dancougar: Charles DuPont is playing his first eleven; no surprises there. Yuji Watanabe, named fifth best goalkeeper in the Cafundeu first division - while on loan! - will play behind Barclay, Berber, Weatherford, and Yukikaze. The midfield still boasts the veterans Morimoto, Leyton, and Boskov along with the younger Whittaker. Shishio Jinguuji and Hideo Ikeda will roam up front.

16:40 | TEAM NEWS: Squornshelous: No news, now or ever, of what the starting lineup will be, who sits on the bench, or what they'll be wearing when they take the pitch. But they're unknowns of high quality, with nine wins to their names... whatever they are.

16:43 | The teams are on the pitch for the national anthems! At least half of the stadium is blotted out by black towels twirling in the evening light. Tonight's officiating crew is from Kenavt. Justin Richardson checks his watch, as we're about to kick off.

1' | They're off! The World Cup is underway for Dancougar, and right away they earn a throw in near the left side. They'll attack right to left in the first half.

3' | Confident passing through the Dancougar midfield, although Squornshelous show no signs of backing down. Whittaker missteps and is forced to play it all the way back over the halfway line to Barclay, and the offense resets.

6' | Sight of goal for Squornshelous! Out of nowhere, an innocent through ball turns into a genuine shot on goal, but Watanabe makes the save. No beating him from thirty yards out.

8' | Dancougar attempt on goal! Leyton's pass into the corner finds Whittaker making a run, and his cross goes over the box. Ikeda tracks it down and tries to cross it back in, but it floats into the goalkeeper's waiting arms instead.

11' http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/soccerball.png | GOOOOOOOOOOOAL DANCOUGAR!! And where did that come from? Boskov meant to have a shot, but instead passed to Leyton, who had a clear shot at the top of the box. Top right corner, an unstoppable shot! And just like that, the Black Wings lead it, 1-0!


Peter jumped out of his seat and cheered. "All riiiiiiight!" he cried. "Dan-fricking-cougar, they score before you!!"

"Pete, sit down!" muttered Russ, tugging at his friends' pant leg. A few people sitting nearby had shouted cheers as well, and after high fiving some of them, Peter returned to his seat.

On the field, Stephen was momentarily distracted by Peter's shout. He turned away from the game for just a moment. He saw C emerge from the locker room, probably to give him the news. "I already heard," he said. C nodded and went back inside. Stephen returned to the game. So far, so good. The Knights were moving the ball well and were controlling the flow of the game. But no good shots, yet. Karen's only good touch so far had careened out for a corner, from which nothing came.

24' | Sight of goal for Dancougar! Whittaker's cross is firmly met by Jinguuji, but the ball is tipped over the bar by the Squornshelous 'keeper! So nearly the second. The corner kick is curled outwards by Morimoto, but cleared away without any Black Wing getting close to it.

26' http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/yellowcard.png | A Squornshelous player goes into the referee's book for a late challenge on Morimoto. We're not quite sure what Richardson is actually writing, though... a facial description of the nameless left midfielder?

29' | Squornshelous nearly get the equilizer! Watanabe went to cover the cross, wrongly assuming that Berber had dibs on the ball! Rather, an attacking player makes a late run in front of him to head the ball, but it's just outside the post for a goal kick.

32' http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/yellowcard.png | Now then, what's Boskov doing? He clips the attacker as he sprints clear with the ball with no intent to play the ball. An easy call for Richardson, and Boskov isn't going to argue. A free kick forty five yards away.

35' | Leyton is fouled at the edge of the Squornshelous box, giving Dancougar a free kick in Morimoto territory. Morimoto steps up... and drills it straight into the wall. Not up to his high standards.

37' | Squornshelous have looked surprisingly flat in this first half. Their latest foray upfield ends with a weak effort on goal from twenty five yards out, which Watanabe easily grabs. The Black Wing defense has done a pretty good job cutting down on open space.

38' http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/soccerball.png | OH, PICK THAT OUT!! IT'S 2-0! Whittaker tracks the ball down into the corner and gets past his defender. On the way back towards the box, he spies Jinguuji make a clean run into the box, and he fires in a low cross. No defender even sees the danger, and Jinguuji has a clean shot from ten yards away! It's just the start they wanted, and what a start it is!

Peter's cheer was followed by a few others throughout the stands, as more people had whipped out their phones to tune in. On the field, Stephen acknowledged the goal but didn't turn this time. He kept his eyes on the game. Karen was closing in, now. She'd had two shots get stopped in the last five minutes. The Knights were pressing now.

C opened the locker room door. "Two!" she shouted, and then closed it.

Stephen spread his gaze over the field. Karen was trying to get around a defender for another chance. None of the other players could find any open space for her to fire in a pass. Before he could cast his gaze upon the defender and open a path, Karen slipped the ball through the defender's legs and got around for a weak shot, as the goalie had spotted the danger and come to his defender's aid.

That's much better from her... thought Stephen. Well, I suppose 0-0 is good enough for their first halftime. I'll see if I can't raise their spirits a bit. The referee's whistle blew and the teams headed into the locker rooms to applause from the crowd. They were in good spirits because, somewhere else in the world, their team was up 2-0 and cruising.

54' | Ikeda wins a throw in, which Whittaker will jog over to take. He sends it back to Barclay, who lumps a long cross into the box, for IKEDA WHO MUST SCORE, but it's tackled away after a moment's hesitation!! Oh dear, Ikeda showing the rough form that plagued him down the stretch his club, America, and misses a golden opportunity to put the game away.

56' | Great play by Squornshelous, but as earlier, everything done right except for the finish. Played forward from the midfield, and the ball is dribbled skillfully into space. But instead of a shot, the attacker waits for help and slides a ball to the right side to accommodate an oncoming winger, but his cross goes out for a goal kick.

59' http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/yellowcard.png | Squornshelous are starting to get frustrated, and that was a rather aimless foul on Morimoto. It looks like the player might have gotten the ball, but this is the latest in a serious of rough challenges. Richardson has no choice but to reassert control over this match.

60' | Morimoto's free kick curls towards goal, and JINGUUJI'S HEADER IS JUST DEFLECTED WIDE! Jinguuji nearly gets his second, and Morimoto once again almost turns the dead ball into a goal for the Wings.

63' | Squornshelous substitute an attacking player for a midfielder, so it's no surprise what their game plan is.

65' | Charles DuPont makes his first change for the Black Wings, bringing on Princeton for the ailing Brandon Barclay. The veteran defender will take a breather, and right away, Princeton clears away Squornshelous push towards goal.

"Watch my phone, dude," said Peter, putting it down. "Natural emergency. Guess I shouldn't have had that second soft pretzel, you know what I'm saying?" He bounced down the bleachers and disappeared underneath, where there were apparently bathroom facilities.

C walked out of the locker room and went over to Stephen. "No change," she said. "How's it going out here?"

"Still no goals," Stephen replied. "The team has been playing well, but those guys they're up against... they're bunching the defense and making no real effort to attack."

"Then just use it on them..." C began.

"Not yet," Stephen said back, in a hushed tone. "I want to see them break down this barrier first. But a win to start the season is important. If they haven't scored by the eighty fifth minute, I'll help Karen out." He held his hand up to his face. "My power... My Geass..."

"Do you need a break, Zero-san?" asked C sweetly. "It's been over an hour."

"Sure, thanks," Stephen said. His cape billowed behind him as he waltzed towards the restroom. His team didn't miss a beat, and continued pressing. Karen launched a cross across the box, only to see it headed out of danger. Again. She clapped her hands and charged back upfield to reset the offense.

Peter emerged from his stall and went to the sink, whistling as he washed his hands. "Oleee, ole ole oleeeeee..." he sang softly as he rinsed. "Freaking 2-0, awesome. Now, if we can just get one more..." He turned around to leave and saw coach Zero stroll in. "Hey, coa...." he began.

Stephen was in the middle of removing his mask. As soon as the bathroom light hit his face, he saw Peter's face plainly, as he held out his hand to shake. What the... damn it, I've been careless! In a flash, his left eye was glowing red, and he made direct contact with Peter, who stopped his approach and dropped his hand. "Forget you were here," he ordered. "Just go back to your seat and forget my face."

"What face?" asked Peter, his eyes likewise glowing.

"That's the spirit," Stephen said with a smile. "Run along, now." Peter left the room and Stephen locked the door behind him. "Damn it, I should've just used the ones in the locker room."

Peter returned to his seat and grabbed his phone. He looked down at the sideline. "Hey, where'd that Zero guy go?" he asked.

"He went under the bleachers awhile ago, I guess you just missed him," replied Russ. "He must've been on his way to the bathroom, too."

"There's a bathroom under there?" Peter queried in a puzzled tone. "Huh, good thing. Guess I shouldn't have had that second soft pretzel, you know what I'm saying?"

Russ stared at him. "Are you okay?" he asked. "You were just in the bathroom."

"No, I've been here with you guys," Peter corrected. "I was checking the match cast, and I looked up, and the coach was gone. You said I went to the bathroom?" He stared into the distance for a moment. "That's weird... I felt overfull a minute ago, but now..." It hit him. Wait, are they serious?! Is that really the guy?!

Russ and von Steuben exchanged glares. "You don't sink..."

71' | Squornshelous corner kick, and its sent into the Dancougar box. Yukikaze heads it away, and Leyton clears it upfield. The Wings have been forced farther and farther back into their side of the field as the second half wears on, as Squornshelous come more and more into the game.

72' | Leyton is tackled in midfield and appeals for a free kick, but Richardson hears none of it. Yukikaze manages to win the ball back, but no counterattack for the Wings, as he's content to hoof it clear for Squornshelous to start all over again.

74' | Another attacker comes on for Squornshelous, but this one's a straight swap. Going for fresh legs, now, over more legs.

75' | Lyle Dylandy comes on for the Black Wings, and the midfielder makes an instant impression by launching a shot at goal that's just pushed wide. The resulting corner is sent in by Whittaker, but Boskov's volley is hopelessly over the bar.

78' http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/soccerball.png | GAME ON IN AIRPORT CITY, SQUORNSHELOUS ARE ONE BACK! And that's much better from them, too, the long cross is parried away by Watanabe. Possession is regained at the top of the box, and Weatherford lets a man behind him. It's a simple pass, turn, and shoot from there - from ten yards away, Watanabe has no change. Low and to his left, and it's now 2-1!

80'| So close for Dancougar! The Black Wings break out with a quickly-taken free kick, and Leyton's pass to Ikeda finds the forward in prime position, if only he weren't a step offside!

83' | PENALTY SHOUT FOR SQUORNSHELOUS! Berber brought down a forward near the edge of the box and he wants a penalty, but Richardson again has said play on! Upon closer inspection, it's the right call - Berber got the ball first, a wonderful tackle to prevent a cross!

Russ and von Steuben were keeping a close eye on Zero, now. Peter was also doing the same. If what Russ said was true about him going to the bathroom before Zero did, and he came back not knowing what had happened... did that confirm their suspicions? Obviously they had no evidence. His lack of memory wasn't going to cut it.

Time was running out. Eighty fifth minute. Zero checked his watch and figured the referee's was probably within thirty seconds of his. He knew Squornshelous were on the comeback trail. Good. Now he had to take care of his three points. Karen passed the ball off to a winger and made a run downfield. She still had three players between her and the ball. The return pass was lifted well over her head, but with a burst of speed, she got to it. Now to deal with the defenders.

The first one she had an easy time sidestepping. She'd punished him all evening. Now she angled her run back towards the top corner of the eighteen yard box. A defender blocked her shot on goal, but a tall center back would easily snuff out any crosses she sent. A backpass? She had help, but that would only slow down the attack some more. But the man on her was preparing to challenge the ball. She had no time left, and no way clear.

The defender suddenly froze, his eyes glowing red. Karen didn't notice and burst past. The defender had given up on the play, and left her with a clear shot at goal!! Karen didn't even think this one through, she just tore into the ball, sweeping it home, near post! The Black Knights were up 1-0 with only five minutes to play, and the way their opponents had been, there would be no comeback.

Zero breathed a sigh of relief. C shook her head. "You waited long enough," she sighed. "But it looks like that was terribly effective. They can't even pass straight now."

"They've had a result stolen from them by a bit of poor judgment," Stephen replied. "Seeing their game plan, I knew that's how they would react. They were always playing for the draw, because they know they can't score."

The joy on Karen's face was clear. The final whistle. The Black Knights had their first amateur league win.

In the stands, Russ turned to von Steuben. "The defender just stopped what he was doing when he was in the best position to play the ball."

"Zat ees vat I vas seenkink," von Steuben responded. "I sink zat ees our men."

"But how do we prove it?" asked Russ. "I mean, all we saw was... like... the guy looked at Zero and stopped moving."

"Maybe ve can find oot," said von Steuben. "To ze locker rums!"

Peter glanced down at his phone.

89' http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/yellowcard.png | Yukikaze is booked for time wasting, as he took far too long to set up that free kick in referee Richardson's opinion. The fourth official has signaled that there will be two minutes of added time.

90+1' | Ikeda's low shot is saved by the 'keeper, who immediately punts it long upfield to start the counterattack. Not long left to go. Squornshelous comes down with the ball and tries to fire a through pass, but it's cut out by Berber who dribbles into space and shields the ball, drawing the foul.

90+2' | The referee blows for full time!! And there you have it, a perfect start for the Dancougar Black Wings, as they beat Squornshelous 2-1. Leyton and Jinguuji open their accounts in the first half, and although the offense slowed down in the second, they got their chances and kept Squornshelous off balance until the last half hour. We hope you enjoyed our LIVE match cast, stick with us throughout the World Cup for more action.

Ticket's to Daehanjeiguk: 725 Baz
Stadium Tickets: 120 Weon
Being able to watch your your team play no matter what the currency you need: Priceless

BazaCard, your international bank card.

~~~~

The Television was switched off, an entire family had gotten together to watch the World Cup Finals.

There was Ruby and Ronald, the grandparents, Jack and Lisa, Louis and Jane and Henry and Nell, three siblings and their significant others, with a total of 10 children. 3 generations of one family all together watching, well to be correct just finished watching the World Cup.

"I know what we could do." Ruby spoke "Let's all go to BazaBurger." A Wide smile was on her face. "They could of done better." grumbled Louis. The kids however all cheered, each yelling out at the top of their lungs what they wanted.

"EVERYONE SHUSH!" Exclaimed Henry strongly "tell us one at a time when we get there."

"Are we there yet?" asked one of the youngest children.

"No, we're not even in the cars yet, now everyone get in their seats and we'll be leaving shortly."

It took a couple of minutes for the adults to organise themselves but by the time they did all the children were in the cars and seat-belted (it's a fine and demerit points to the driver if passengers are not wearing their seat belts.)

Soon the 4 cars were going being lead by Ruby and Ronald in their car they arrived within minutes to the nearby BazaBurger. It was decked out in the national colours, white, Black & Gold.

They were having a promotion with the soccer, for every goal that the team scored in the World Cup BazaBurger would be giving away a new Verona Medina, with a boot-full of soccer equipment, including shoes which could be swapped for shoes of better size at their nearest FeetCare store.

The group stood in line, it was a reasonably long line everyone was apparently at BazaBurger, eventually they arrived at the counter and gave their order, it was a large one, and it would take a while to get together. They were told to take a seat and they'd bring it out to them, which they did one tray at a time.

Being fairly religious family they said grace before eating and those that had food started to tuck in. On each tray there was an entry form for the competition, and they entered it. Why not?

Soon everyone was basically full and started to leave, they popped the entry forms into the slot designated for them and left the store.

"Oooooooh Banana! I love you! Banana! Woo hoo! Banana!"

"What's all this celebrating about?"

"We won 2-0"

"Really what the hell?! How?"

"Were you not just listening?"

"No I was trying not to laugh. You know you can't sing"

"Shut up and let's get to the point"

"And what's the point?"

"Our banana is sentient! It can move!"

"How?!"

"I don't know! But it can! It made two magnificent saves today"

"Really what about all the other stuff that's on our team?"

"Nope"

"How did this happen?"

"According to Markin it was a witch doctor"

"Ok that's just weird since when did we have witch doctors in Milchama?"

"The Mongols"

"Nah they're still Jews. We oppressed them out of their religion"

"That sounds awful"

"But it's true"

"Whatever, shut up the point being where did the witch doctor come from?"

"I have no idea"

"Did the witch doctor do anything else?"

"Apparently not. Markin didn't say anything else"

"You know, we probably need to investigate"

"Why?"

"How the hell did a banana become sentient through a witch doctor which we don't know where he or she came from. And also how come this witch doctor couldn't turn the rest of our team sentient?"

"Good point. Ok where are we playing?"

"Ummm.... Adihan"

"Damn! That's the boring stuck up country"

"Yeh that does suck"

"Oh well I'm assuming you already have tickets"

"Yes I do"

"Excellent let's go"

"One more thing"

"What?"

"Come on you Warriors!"

"Yeh that too whatever come on"

World Cup 41 Group A
MD1: Sel Appa 2-1 Daehanjeiguk (@ Gwangju)
MD2: Bazalonia --- Daehanjeiguk (@ Hanseong)
MD3: Daehanjeiguk --- Wentland (@)


Tripped!
with Mr. Pak

Well, you've gotten a guide and you're having some fun in the Empire. But what do you do at night? Sleep? Bah! You can't sleep while in the Han Empire! There's plenty to do when in the Han Empire, and that does include a night life! It's hard to find, but rest assured (or not), you can have fun in the sun and shake off the moonlight too.

Nightlife in the Han Empire traditionally began with the festivals, when Imperial censorship was often lifted (censors in the old days were more or less street guards who patrolled the streets at night - it was forbidden to walk around in the streets at night) to allow festivities to continue into the evening and nighttime. But since modern convenience allows a modern night to continue well into the morning hours, it's hard to avoid the urge to party in these days. And there are many places to go; but it's just as hard to find the good ones as it is to find a good taxi (which is why I suggest taking the subways).

You'll be with your guide (and since nearly all nightclubs use currency, there's no need to worry about a guarantee of exchange) and your guide can lead to his/her/its favorite clubs. For one evening, it's a good idea to start off with a good meal. Unless you want your ass to burn at night, avoid spicy food, especially those with eggs. And for a pleasurable complement, have some soju (20% alcohol). There's a lot of different brands, and they each have their merits; let your guide offer you a try. Restaurants serve them in small bottles, so there's no worry about having too much leftover. And if you're under the age limit in your home country, no worries! The Han Empire has no age restriction on who can buy alcoholic beverages (although if you're 32 and not a recognized citizen, you're pretty much hopeless at buying anything). This isn't an invitation to get wasted, but more so an invitation to a responsible and enjoyable evening.

After dinner, you'll want to head to a noraebang (singing room) bar. One favorite habit among the Han - young and old - is to sing the night away in a room. Some noraebang keep score for you too, so a night at the noraebang can turn into an intense competition; in itself, the noraebang is a wonderful experience and can be a one night visit. But there's plenty more to do. There's also the DDR bars, where people dance the night away. Like the noraebang, DDR can turn competitive quickly and it can be a wonderful night's accomplishment. If you're feeling really enthusiastic, you can try getting a date. There are plenty of casual bars where people go to socialize. You can tell the type of people that go to a bar by the signs that they put up - "Kapei" is usually reserved for the students and academics; "Yeobang" is usually reserved for girls; "Nambang" is usually reserved for boys; "Gonghwa" is usually reserved for workers and communists; "Jabonga" is usually reserved for wealthier folk (a reserve guest list is noted at these establishments, and you must have arrangements to attend a social); "Wundong Kapei" is frequented by sports enthuasiasts; "Pilleosopeu" is frequented by the thinkers (and sometimes the sentimental academics); and the "Ba" is a general term for any kind of bar. Which one you like depends on your taste; be sure to clear this over with your guide. And as always, enjoy yourself!

World Cup Today
with Mr. Gang

Well, it's the first match, and we've gotten a disappointing first match loss. It was close, but at the end of the day, all 3 points go to Sel Appa, who rebounded to steal the win after Jeong Jihun scored an early stunner in the 6th minute. The result also puts the Han at the bottom of the table, where the other match ended in a 2-2 draw. This puts some pressure on Ioshido, where a Second Round visit is expected from him, despite the enormous pressure also looking to keep the Han out. The next match against Bazalonia will be the critical one. If Wentland defeats Sel Appa, the Han will have survived with a win over Bazalonia. However, a loss will result in a hasty and early exit from the Cup altogether. Definitely not a position that anyone wants to be in, but with the fans looking to stir up some pressure, everyone wants to make it to the next round.

And about the other groups... pretty boring actually. If you're looking at the scores at least. Group B ended in all 1-1 draws, with the only highlight coming from the SLANI - Holy Empire match. The referees were forced to call off the match on account of the blancmanges eating all of the match balls. IFA officials have declared that this situation will be remedied by providing more match balls, although I'm not sure if that will solve anything. I'm pretty sure that all matches ending in 1-1 draws will be catastrophic for WCHOC officials, but hopefully, things will improve and someone will actually win a match.

In Group C, the highlight Tynelia - Quakmybush match was a dull 0-0 draw. A lot of tense play on the mid-section, but poor finishing on both sides. I think Tynelia will be lamenting the lost chances, while Quakmybush will be thanking their lucky garters that they didn't concede a goal. Meanwhile, Kura-Pelland pulls a serious upset, winning against Demot, and putting their names into the hat of teams likely to progress.

Group D featured yet another draw, this timee between Az-cz and Bostopia. Coupled with the fact that most Han in the crowd were surprised to see no tanks on the field, Bostopia did pretty well to hold off the top seeds, who were honestly not on their best form after a relatively poor qualifying season. They'll need to step up their game if they want to continue looking on in confidence. Meanwhile, the Monks pulled their own upset, trouncing the cheaters of Northern Bettia in a 2-0 win. The Monks were seen most of the time in prayer before the match, and for those faithful viewers were left to wonder if their prayers had been answered (if winning was even on their mind at all). Their cryptic post-match commentary was also puzzling for the fans.

I guess it's all up to whatever works. I hear that the WCHOC has been trying to boost attendance with crickets; not sure where they're going with that idea, but I think the fans need to be more positive about their team's performance.

Health
with Dr. Pu

Today, we'll have a look at some key exercises that will keep you fit during your stay in the Han Empire. It can be sometimes peaceful to enjoy a good summer afternoon there, but be careful! It can suddenly rain at any moment! Or it can just stay sunny. So we'll also cover your basic weather needs.

Jogging: Very basic, and very boring.

Jumping: Unless you hope to go nowhere today, this will get you no where fast.

Singing opera: This is a real exercise! Not only will you find yourself accompanied by a full supporting cast, opera singing can really pass the time while waiting at the bus stop. Just be sure to avoid the tragic ones.

Drowning: Also doubles as a sure method for suicide, drowning drives your instinct into full drive, burning those muscles for an extra workout. This is particularly effective if you're also very fat.

Freefall Skydiving: Not only is it a great thrill, the ending is a real crasher. Just be sure to tell your pilot to throw out the parachutes before you set off.

Walking on burning cinder blocks: It burns. Literally. But it makes you walk faster and that extra step in each step will make you livelier when it comes to avoiding the lava flow of a volcano.

Liposuction: Not an exercise, but sucking out the fat in your body puts stress on it. This is the easy way to burn extra carbs.

Running away from the police: Not a preferred option, but if you're feeling a bit on the wrong side of your weight scale, committing some crime and getting chased by the police builds endurance and in some cases can encourage muscle development. Police in the Han Empire are known for almost-lethal athleticism though, since they're all trained as soldiers, and unarmed combat is their specialty (with some others taking on the guns, but who wants to get shot these days?). Alternatively, if you're looking to build up combat experience, fighting the police is an excellent way to do that.

Running after celebrities: Just as difficult, since celebrities often hire professional guards to help them. But chasing them can be a great challenge since there are fewer of them than the police. But on the bright side, chasing builds up intelligence as well as lean muscle.

Playing football: A simple exercise, but requires at least 21 other people for full effect.

Streaking: This is the best exercise to do, and I strongly recommend it.

And if you're really in the spirit of doing the crash course...

Jump off a plane and freefall to earth - stripping at the same time. Land in a football field and streak around the pitch. Run away from the police (streaking in public areas is illegal), chase the first celebrity that you encounter (find the cinder blocks too!), and fight off the guards. Then jump in a river while singing the Barber of Seville. Trust me. In two weeks, no one will recognize you; you'll be fit and lean like never before!

=== BREAK ===

WCHOC Meeting

WCHOC Chairman = CH
WCHOC Secretary = SC
WCHOC Treasurer = TR
WCHOC Historian = HS
WCHOC Random Fellow = RF
WCHOC Butler = BT


CH: Oh great. We lost the first match...

SC: And the crickets are still boycotting the World Cup...

TR: And the Butler somehow resurrected as a zombie that only says...

BT: BUT! *gurgles*

TR: ... that.

SC: We've got to find a way to make this work out!

RF: Why? I mean, we're supposed to organize the World Cup, not bribe officials to make the Han team win.

BT: BUT! *gurgles*

SC: ... that's why we're hosting! To win!

RF: According to my list of things that hosts do... that isn't one of them.

CH: Well, it's going to be terrible if we host and didn't even make the second round. It's sort of an expectation. Besides, it's our home turf. We should be making a better impact on the pitch!

BT: BUT! *gurgles*

RF: ... we're not. So what?

CH: We've got to figure out how to get the crickets to stop their silly strike and get them to watch our games. Otherwise, the pistachios will pile up.

TR: We could just sell them to Ad'ihan. I hear they're in a pistachio shortage.

=== BREAK ===

Adanac is a large metropolitan area in the Northwest of the West Starblaydia, with a population of 5.5 million, mostly comprised of refugees from Hockey Canada, Sorthern Northland, and other communist paradises. It boasts a wonderful mass transit system, towering skyscrapers, and a thriving economy, despite little national attention being paid to its urbanite treasures. Of course, with the increasingly hot rebellion in Krytenia, no one pays attention to the quiet and quaint life of this part of the country. It made the events that were to follow a tragedy.

It was 9 minutes past one o'clock, and the city was working in pristine condition. The traffic was flowing smoothly, the people were heeding the laws, and even the occasional dog was doing his duty at the fire hydrant. It started as a simple traffic accident though. The lights went out at the courthouse, and two cars rammed into each other. A simple tragedy - one that can happen any day anywhere. As the police were nearby, they simply strolled out the intersection when an explosion capsized the sewers under the street. The blast sent debris everywhere, but the capsize sent the cars into a murky pit. Panic filled the air.

Surprised? Not really. It was perhaps only a matter of time before the Krytenian rebels would have stepped up their campaign to liberate Krytenia from the yoke of the Lady Starblayde; but what caught the security off-guard was the extreme severity. Why Adanac? And why now? Emberton was the hot-spot.

Suddenly, another explosion rocked just a block down the road. It was the subway station. Suddenly, this was becoming a little more complicated. The road leading to the courthouse was quickly degenerating into a panic zone, and the formerly pristine operation bellowed into a random mass. Cars and trucks were ramming into each other; pedestrians were fleeing in every direction; the police were having difficulty trying to figure out where the blasts where coming from, and the fire hydrants were blowing out their water. Something still didn't seem right...

Another explosion - the cafe restaurant across the street from the courthouse exploded. What the %$#^ was going on? Perhaps the sewers could be explained as an attack on the courthouse; the subway was a failed attempt to launch a bomb; but the restaurant? That was pure carnage. The rebels were becoming too hostile to everyone, and the police were now wondering if there were more bombs to come. The security situation was degenerating more quickly - no one in the city had quite contemplated a response to something of this magnitude, partially because they had no reason to assume anything of the worst. Consider that Adanac was a peaceful city that had hardly seen any hard days (maybe a few droughts, but that was natural); what prompted the Krytenian rebels to do something like this?

The chief of police was on scene in twenty minutes, and it was already a nightmare. Dust covered the air for miles, and bodies were all over the streets. Fortunately, the sane people had all dispersed and fled the area; the drive was clear for a long way, and not a car on the road stirred. It was deathly quiet for the most part. The chief walked out onto the street, asking the nearest patrol if the situation was under control.

"Sir, begging your pardon, but ..." he pointed out to the street, "there's no way to control that. This is just..."

"Easy, laddie. We'll take small steps for now. Get the fires out and find more bombs. If there're any."

"Sir - who would do this?"

"Whadya mean?"

"I mean... Krytenians wouldn't do this."

"Of course, they would. Didn't you read the papers? Riots all over the place. I'm just surprised that there isn't a rioting crowd to accompany it."

"Maybe there isn't a rioting crowd to accompany it..."

The patrol leader had little time to finish his sentence before a bomb threw him over his head. It took him a few seconds to recollect his thoughts and stand straight. His ears were bleeding, as were his hands and head. But his ears were in pain - the explosion literally blew out his eardrums. He looked around to find familiar faces, when he noticed three men with Molotov cocktails, wearing sky-blue T-shirts, black armbands, and more significantly, black facemasks. They swarmed the officer, pelting him with the bottles and leaving him to burn. There were at least ten men the cocktails killing off the police with extruciating accuracy. But the police were well armed and shot off the men. Two ran away, dropping the contents of their cocktails to hide their tracks. The other eight were left alone while police attempted a pursuit.

The chief came out from the rubble, saving from the last spurt of attacks by a car windshield. He was immediately startled by the brutality of the rioters. Why attack the police? Why kill the police? At this point, the police were innocent, attacked violently. Some medics helped him settle straight, but his mind was filled with horrors that only came from the worst nightmares. It was as if the Devil had sent his minions to lay waste the land of Krytenia, and in his wake left demons to haunt the city forever. The road to the courthouse was a charred stretch of some 300 meters, the road buckled at the intersection in front of the building. The subway was a worse scenario, where people were buried under the rubble, and the trains left to meld into the terrain, encasing their passengers. The streets were filled with hundreds of dead and dying people. What could prompt any person to commit atrocities on this scale?

The chief sat back up in the ambulance, while crews went out to survey the dead rioters. The immediate notice was the facemasks. They carefully removed the masks, noting that their faces were distinctly Oriental.

"Sir - these people aren't Krytenian!"

They justified it, seeing as the Free Rebels had previously attempted an attack with an ethnic Han, hoping to blame the Mujeongbu terrorists. But as they counted the dead - all 8 attackers on the ground were Han. And worse was the secrets they hid under their vests.

An explosion ripped across the disaster area, as ball bearings ripped across anything that wasn't left behind. The bodies were all exploding.

"The dead guys! They're wired to explode!"

Just as soon as the note was made, another body spontaneously exploded, and people were still left ducking for cover. Terror set in, as 93 minutes of bombs and blood had left its mark on the city for a long time to come. One of the last radio transcripts to escape the carnage was recorded at the central office - "Anybody at HQ Central! Copy now! I think we've just been invaded! We're at war!"

--- But by whom? ---

The Mujeongbu had long planned its attacks, and now they were prepared to make a statement to the world. A conspicuous package was left outside the Han embassy in Starblaydia, where the guards picked it up and brought it inside. Minutes later, an explosion ripped through the embassy's edifice as nails from the package were sent scattered in every direction. The area immediately around the embassy was marked by confusion as guards from the Han embassy quickly scrambled to get control of the situation. The Han ambassador, safe from the attacks, quickly cabled home: "His Imperial Majesty's Embassy in Starblaydia has been attacked."

At this point, it is obvious who has caused this massive panic, but how and why did this all begin? Well, it began some time ago - with the attempted attack on Lady Starblayde in Emberton. It seemed that among the current choices - C&M, Cafundeu, and Casari - West Starblaydia was an opportunity of a great scale. The government could survive a double attack by the Krytenians and the Mujeongbu - and whereas the Mujeongbu were indifferent to the people they killed, the Krytenians could be broken with a few key hits. It would help to know who to hit among the Mujeongbu, and where to hit more importantly. The recent revelation (within Cafundeu, that is), that a great community of Han expatriates had turned to the Mujeongbu contributed further to the realization that the Mujeongbu were encircling the free and civilized world with terror. Who was next on their list of endless destruction - all in the of social and moral equality?

Perhaps the video tape submitted to Starblaydian media sources could help them in the great puzzle:

May the Great and Magnificant Revolution begin!

We - the ordained people of the Mujeongbu - have turned to your country, for failing to recognize the civil equality of your people and for the enslavement of another people. While your government continues to oppress its people with foolish and senseless laws that discriminate people of all origin, you have enraged the free and animate human kind by enslaving the free people of Krytenia, encouraging their leader to bear their yoke to your kind. This travesty cannot stand, and to recognize this travesty, we have defiled your lands with char and smoke, so that the blood of your people may be upon your conscience. If you seek to free yourselves from our wrath, free the land of the declared territories under your oppression and restore the natural order of society to the common man. The laws of civilization shall burden no free man again!

--- And what would the Han do? ---

As soon as the message was received in Hangyeong, the Emperor literally popped a vein. He was rushed to the hospital for emergency service, as the Crown Prince suddenly became the regent of the Imperial Family. Proclaimed Regent Yeongmu (英武政帝|영무정제), his first declaration was quick and blunt - "The Mujeongbu shall have no quarter under any law of any land; any country found to harbor these criminals under their willful hands shall be found in an immediate state of war with the Han Empire!"

War? Had it come to this already? And could the Han afford a war with the Mujeongbu? Perhaps - if it meant the support of the international community. But who would heed the call of war, and who would confront the Han remained to be seen. For the moment, it was a flurry of activity at the Hwarang HQ, struggling with the massive influx of information available to them. The resources had been spent for some time in Candelaria And Marquez, to find the radical de Wilde (now largely presumed dead - but that remains to be seen) and to unroot the recent wave of Mujeongbu violence in the country. The recent explosions in Cafundeu have been troublesome for a country that prides itself in being the safest country in the world (at least for investors). But now this... this was too much to handle. Rest assured, the Han would strike back. Now the real question emerges - who strikes first?

Dear Julius

I'm sorry I have not written lately, but with busy schedule of my life, I've hardly had the time to sleep, much less write to loved ones. So what's new with you? I heard that you and the rest of the Dynamo made it into the World Cup Proper. My friends are constantly asking me what it's like to have such a superstar football player as a brother. It's a tad irritating to be honest, but I'm soo happy for the success that you are having that I can deal with such annoyances.

Did I mention I've found someone who I might see a future with? He is soo kind and nothing but the gentlemen. His name is Maurice Dartal and he owns this cute little antique shop over on the corner of Elventh and Statin. He gave me this lovely little anklet for my birthday. It's just a simple metal chain, with it had a rose colored heart gem on it, and my birthstone shaped like a heart inside of it as well! It is soo adorable, I wear it every day.

I think I've might of found my calling though. As you know, I was always good with the arts, from drawing to painting to writing. So I think I shall become an artist and work as freelance journalist to have a steady income. Maurice earns enough for the both of us, but I don't want to be rushing into things. He even offered to pay for my rent until I have my first big sell, but I turned down his offer. Afterall, I am capable of taking care of myself.

I hope all is well with you over there in the Han Empire. I've heard many wierd stories about the people who live there. They are not peaceful and calm like us, far more eccentric, some even say completely insane. I have to admit I do worry about your safety, the world is a dangerous place. Hah! Isn't it funny that me, the sister, is the one writing to the other sibling about being careful. Yet I learned in my travels that the rest of the world is not as calm as Demot. So please take care of yourself Julius, I don't think I, nor our parents, could deal with the pain if any ill were to come to you.

~ Love Twinkle

"So, what do you make of it?"

"We should be hearing back from Hut Six shortly, sir. It was one of the more intractable ones."

"I'm just hoping they haven't added another wheel to it, or rewired the damn thing. It took eleven months to crack it before..."

"I'm sure they haven't cottoned on, sir. That last raid came close to town but they didn't even try to approach here."

"You're right, of course, Perkins...but given the upturn in convoy activity the last thing we need is another eleven month gap. Hold up, here's Carruthers now."

"Well, sir, we think we've got it...the bombe has come up with a number of possibilities, I think we can narrow it down."

"Excellent work, Carruthers...any reason why this one is more tricky?"

"The key word appears to be one of a number of different ones, sir...we've got a smart Herman on this one. He hasn't just used Hitler or Monica or one of the usual."

"So you don't think that they've changed the thing?"

"No, sir. Just more efficient use of it. Makes it damnably awkward, sir, but young Turing is working on trying to eliminate this difficulty in future. We need to get this response down time."

"Good to hear, Carruthers. Good to hear. So, what's the news?"

"Most of the outputs are sheer balderdash, sir. We have three different options, all of which work, but I think only one can be relevant...or at least only one that we should act upon..."

"What are the options, Carruthers?"

"The first one, and most relevant one, suggests that there's going to be a congregation of u-boats at a certain latitude and longitude. Not sure whether it's a deliberate test to see if we've cracked it, though, sir."

"Indeed, Carruthers. I cannot envisage such a congregation being necessary. We shall of course follow it up, but I think you are right."

"The second one reports that Wentland have drawn with Bazalonia. Two-two."

"That is indeed nonsense, Carruthers. Bazalonia are top seeds."

"Quite. The third is possibly gobbledigook...'call the egg, the ostrich has nodular function'."

"Ah, that is VERY serious, Carruthers...if we assume Hitler is the egg, the ostrich is Rommel - desert connexion, you see - and the nodular function is El Alamein...we must inform Monty forthwith."

The brigadier hurried off. Carruthers turned to Perkins.

"That's why he's officer material, Pancho..."

"That was... good." Mark Tupper said, "Especially since the other game was a draw. The whole group's wide open now. We might even... Hell with that! We WILL progress!" He thumped the dressing room bench for emphasis.

---INTERMISSION FOR HAIKU---

First game is over
Results turn out pretty great
Possibilities

------------------------------

"Yes, we can! Yes, we can!" he insisted.

The players, initially flowing with endorphins from the physical exertion and the good result, became increasingly embarrassed.

"We're making history, fellas! History with every kick of that ball. Make it a good history!" he exhorted. "And can someone help me get a pack of doublemint?"

Jacob:
Hello, I'm Jacob Kinstein for Jews Today! I'm in Ad'ihan with Jeruselem World Cup Captain Kara Kool and her cousin Sally Kool. Both are popular Jewish women and definitely are draw for football loving Jews all wherever they travel. The other Jewish football team is Milchama and they are ranked 3rd compared to 11th for Jeruselem. As you can see Jewish nations can stand proud at the World Cup. Both teams have made the World Cup final, so it proves Jews can play sport. Kara, Sally are you proud to be Jewish?

Kara: Admittedly, I'm actually half-Jewish. My father wasn't Jewish, but I'm still count myself as Jew.
Sally: Me too, I'm not actually pure-blood either but I wouldn't change a thing either.

Jacob: Both of you are outstanding examples that Jewish women aren't hooked nose witches, as some would like the image to project.
Kara: My mother Rachel was a good looking woman, and well I have good genes. My sister Kylie is pretty good looking too.
Sally: I'm just cute

Jacob: Would you consider yourself more attractive than the Dallas girls?
Kara: No, they are a different class of women. We're not competing with them.
Sally: Still, we can hold our own in the beauty stakes and we aren't whores.

Jacob: What's your take on Jewbee or Jacinta Dallas. Is she Jewish or really just French?
Kara: She's mostly French but I for one will just judge her because she's illegimate. She's a very nice girl if a bit dizzy but she'll make a good Jewish wife for Flak Sho. Flak is a nice guy who deserves the best girl he can get.
Sally: She's still one of us, even if she's a bit of airhead like me.

Jacob: Now, Jews aren't known for being sporting. How are things different in Jeruselem?
Kara:
You know, when Dazza Dallas got out on the football field ... many Jewish girls like looked and thought - if a stupid whore can do it, why can't we try. Jewish men prefer to do business the traditional way but us Jewish women don't have opportunity like that. That's why us Jewish women do sport so well, we're got the motivation since we can't do in the board room.
Sally: I like the outdoors and keeps me fit. I don't like office jobs.

Jacob: As Jeruselem captain, what is success to you in this cup?
Kara: Getting to the final, and winning. Anything else is a failure - I know that means we've failed since World Cup 11 but it's like that.
Sally: I'm just happy to be in the team.

Jacob: OK, what's your ideal World Cup final?
Kara: Jeruselem vs Milchama, with me scoring the winning goal.
Sally: Jeruselem vs Qazox, yeah!

Jacob: Why Qazox Sally?
Sally: I like Qazoxians.
Kara: She was born in Qazox.

Jacob: Looking ahead, two hard games ... what's your chances.
Kara: We have to win one of them, and it's probably not against the Elves. I'd be happy to draw against the Elves. All teams in our group could finish with 4 points.
Sally: I'm not worried. I'm sure we can make it.

Jacob: What do want say to your fans and the general Jewish community?
Kara: Please support us and Milchama. It's all I ask.
Sally: Please join the Sally Kool fan club! It's cheaper than the Dallas one.

Kara: She wants more money from the fan club.
Jacob: Kara, we're Jews .... remember?
Kara: Oh yes ...

Sally: (giggles)
Jacob: She's behaving like Jewbee Dallas.
Kara: I know but remember she's only 16 years old.

"That's that, then. Glad to see you still have your loyalties in the right place. As for your role within the federation..."

Luke Evans knew this was it. He would have to make a choice — sign a permanent deal with the AFF to take over as full-time manager (he'd been on an interim contract since the end of World Cup 40 and Dave Hollow's departure to manage Yafor 2), or stick to his well-paying, less-stressful job within the Football Federation of Ad’ihan (AFF) as director of footballing excellence?

The latter job would also allow him to continue his work with the media, something he missed doing since agreeing to return to his old job of managing the national team, even if on an interim basis.

"Well, I was thinking. I could do a double-role. It would help me as manager of Ad’ihan if I remained as director of footballing excellence; I'd be able to continue my scouting and development roles within youth football and be able to groom the best players for the national team."

He knew this was a long shot. After all, should he once again trip up at managing the country, he could hardly be called a director of footballing excellence.

————————

Evans made full-time manager

The interim manager of the national team, Football Federation of Ad’ihan (AFF) director of footballing excellence Luke Evans, has agreed a new contract with the AFF that would see him become the permanent manager of the national team.

Liventian-born Evans, who was previously national team manager from the last time Ad’ihan hosted a World Cup, WC37, through to the end of WC38, and is now an Ad’ihani citizen, has led the team through one competition — finishing ninth in the sixth Oxen CUP — in this interim period post-Dave Hollow.

Perhaps what is surprising is the news that Evans has retained his position as the AFF's director of footballing excellence, which means he remains the AFF's point man in developing youth football in the country. Evans will therefore continue to oversee the youth academy in Dalinn.

Evans has signed a four-year deal, according to an AFF insider, which would see him through to the end of World Cup 42 at least.

Only by fluke could Kura-Pelland hope to defeat Demot.

Well, by fluke they did. A Danny Ibbetson free-kick from practically the touchline in the 59th minute took a slight deflection off a Demotian defender and looped in off the post with the goalkeeper confused and stranded. It shoud never have gone in, but it did - and poor Demotian finishing and brilliant Kura-Pellandi defending did the rest.

Still the public are struggling to get excited about this tournament. But that is sure to change now; it's the first win Kura-Pelland have ever had in a World Cup proper, and they now have a genuine strong chance of making the last sixteen, something unthinkable even two days ago. Tynelia and Quakmybush await, and they drew 0-0 in an ideal result for Kura-Pelland.

Who'd have thought it?

Night, T'harisk Prison, Yafor 2

Sometimes it is difficult to imagine what a man is like when he is truly faced with a life-changing choice. Sometimes it is difficult to imagine what a man is like when both options that lie before him end in doubt and despair. Sometimes it is difficult to measure a man who has nothing to lose, and yet, who stands to lose everything. Such a man was Idurv Odakale, his eyes darting nervously towards the small automated clock on the wall opposite from his cell (each cell had a clock visible from it - it was almost like a "your time is running out" scenario, a sadistic measure by the authorities) to the feet. Idurv could see the seconds running down towards 11:46. He felt fear grip his body in bursts as he flicked his head forwards, then backwards, indecisive even as the time to make a decision neared. Had anyone been watching him (which, indeed, no one was), they would have been able to grasp that he was struggling with a momentous decision and, had they known what choices lay ahead of him, they would have sympathized. Indeed, Idurv sympathized with himself, but self-pity had no place on the eve of an important decision.

11:45. Idurv stood up, feeling his body stretch as he did so, shouldering his own weight on his feet. He felt heavy, weak, confused, but, even so, he continued on, walking forward. "Excuse me." he whispered hoarsely to one of the guards in front of him. "I need to go to the bathroom, please." That was it - in a second, without prompting, without a thunderous sound, or vast background music filling the area, Idurv Odakale had made his decision - he would do what the man had suggested he do. As far as he could see, the man was correct - Idurv himself had no real choice whether to accept or not. Given his situation (and that fact that, to be honest, he was in jail), there really was no choice here. The man could have been lying to him - but what could have been gained from lying to a washed-up ex-footballer/soccer player who had been arrested long before for drug trafficking and murder? The man was clearly after something (and Idurv would have been a fool to not have an idea of what), but to find that information that the man sought, Idurv would first have to be out of the prison. From his perspective, there was no doubt in his mind that the man had been telling the truth.

"It's midnight, motherfucker. Why the hell do you want to go to the bathroom now?" One of the two night-shift guards who were supposed to walk prisoners down to the bathrooms in the night moved towards his cell. The voice of the other came from other direction. "Plus, this bathroom's backed up. Wait like six hours - I don't want to go tramping all the way up to the third floor, for Enalla's sakes." The two of them (Idurv idly noted that they seemed smaller than the majority of the guards who tended to work in the prison. Perhaps that was a part of the man's plan?) looked at Idurv, as if expecting something. "If you want me to grovel, I'm fine doing it. Right now, all I want to do is empty my bladder, to be honest." He had been in prison for four years and he knew how to get guards to do what he wanted to. That was one of the quirks that a long-time prisoner learned. Glancing at each other, the two guards shrugged their shoulders and placed the key into the door of Idurv's cell. The former superstar grinned on the inside. Phase one, at least, had gone smoothly.

The bathroom on the third floor was not close by, and the ankle-irons on Idurv's legs began to scuff at his feet after only a few seconds. "Eh, you mind getting these things off?" The corridors were dimly lit, but even from here, Idurv could see one of the snipers on the top floor with his gun trained on the him. That meant that at least three had him in their sights. Clearly, the guards had seen the same thing he had. "Can't see any harm." One of the guards stated easily, reaching down to the ankle-chains and releasing then with the key-lever in his hand. "That's nice, thanks." Neither guard batted an eyelash. "You know, I haven't not worn those things in, I don't know how long. You're great guys, you know that." Once again, there was barely a change in the demeanor of the guards flanking him. Idurv had been expecting that - after all, these men were trained in what they did. Nonetheless, he often found himself hungering for conversation and, while this may have been a poor substitute, it was a substitute nonetheless, and Idurv what glad for even this sort of conversation.

They soon reached the bathroom on the third floor. Looking around (staring at the open top that allowed the snipers to have a eye on him even when he did what he had to do), Idurv let himself in. "Be quick with your business." The lead guard said roughly, as they took their positions on the outside of the bathroom itself. Moving down the aisle, Idurv reached the third urinal away from the entrance, and, letting his slacks slide down, he reached behind the pipe to the space where the man had promised there would be a weapon. Feeling with his hand, he made out what seemed like a pistol, as well as an unattached silencer. For a split second, he paused, wondering how the man had managed to get a gun into the most highly guarded prison in the Grand Democratic Duchy. For a split second, his mind moved entirely away from the place he was, into pure amazement at the audacity, boldness, and cunning of a man he had once known well. Then the entire prison was plunged into darkness.

Idurv fumbled downwards, pulling up his slacks. In an instant his hand had grabbed the gun (an Amastoli Argus Equinox, Combat Version (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=556892)) attaching the silencer with his free hand. Unknown to him, this was nearly a thousand dollars worth of military engineering in his hands. Had Idurv been a fighter (or, even, better trained at what he did), he would have perceived the almost perfection in the killing machine he held in his hands, the balance, the weight - but, as it was, to him it didn't matter whether the gun had been designed for special forces or not. He had been barely training when he had joined the Yaforite mafia - trained only with the ability to shoot straight, and not really that. But the weapon Idurv was holding in his hands was one that many people (including PERNAS, who would have been searching for him if he escaped) would have wanted to hold. This was the pinnacle of military engineering and he, a prisoner in the most highly guarded prison in the entire Grand Democratic Duchy, was holding it in his hands as an amateur. The world was a strange place.

Immediately, Idurv snapped back from his trance. The man's words slipped back to him - he had only six minutes until the generators of the building roared to life. Mentally, he thanked the Yaforite government for having designed such a massive building, and one that required such electricity to begin with. Had it been smaller, the generators would have been on quicker. Reaching forward, Idurv paused for a second, before firing the gun twice, each time at the one of the guards at the door of the bathroom. Two pops floated through the air, two gurgling sounds, and then two bodies at his feet. There was no time for remorse. Idurv reached along the belts of the guards, finding the key to his handcuffs. As he undid them, he tried to calculate how many seconds he had spent. "Too many." he whispered, suddenly, totally ignoring the fact that this made his voice heard and revealed his position to the snipers above. Thankfully for him, they could barely see through the pitch-darkness. Then Idurv ran.

His first thought as he began to speed through the hallways was "how the hell am I supposed to find the second hallway?". None of the signs were lighted (as a virtue of the fact that the electricity was gone) - in fact, the only things that were lighted were "Exit" signs, which, by Yaforite law, were mandated to run on their own separate generator. Rushing towards the nearest "Exit" sign, Idurv was barely able to make out the words on the nearby signs. "Second hallway...second hallway..." He squinted, trying very hard to make it out. "There we go! Second hallway that way!" Rushing forward, Idurv moved in the direction expected. He had, however, with his frantic movements, unknowingly alerted the guards of the prison, who were speeding towards his loud footsteps. They didn't expect him to be an escaped prisoner, of course, but his behavior did go against the regulations of the prison when it came to blackouts. Idurv didn't know any of that, of course, and when he found a guard in front of him, blocking his entrance to the second hallway, all he did was shoot.

This was one of the guard hallways (the mechanically operated doors were not working, given the blackout) and Idurv idly stared around, wondering what he was supposed to do now. "The 1-1 draw between the Capitalizts and the man-eating blancmanges of The Holy Empire totally puts the group up for grabs, I would say." blared a radio in another room, clearly tuned to a world cup frequency. Idurv heard a cracking to his right, and another man, dressed in a uniform, immediately beckoned him to the right. Idurv paused for a second, then followed the man. Then the lights in the complex flooded on. Seconds later Idurv found himself bundled up, thrust into the back of a car, and then carted away, the only sounds in his ears analysis of the chances of the Golden Wolves in their 1-1-draw-loving World Cup group.

[OOC: Next part of the RP has nothing to do with my storyline - it's Caf's storyline, mostly, and my reactions to it.]

Ajer, Yafor 2

Eliana Dagora was furious. That was the polite was of putting it, of course, but she was the Elected Duchess of the Grand Democratic Duchy of Yafor 2 (and a rather unpopular one, at that), so she did deserve some measure of respect. Kurisir "Nabo" Toralen was Chief Minister (and a sight more unpopular than Eliana, at that), but he was fairly used to Eliana's periodic fits of anger, so he had a fairly good grip of how to deal with it. Normally what he did was simple - he'd let her rant for a good forty-five minutes, then tell her what was being done about the problem, allow her to give her suggestions (normally rather good ones, though he didn't like to admit that) and then proceed as he would. She had developed a rather irritating habit, in his opinion, of actually going about and fixing the problem on her own - he didn't really mind it that much (especially since she was rather good at problem solving), but he did mind the fact that she still never quite understood the concept of "delegating responsibility". That was how it tended to go, however.

"Terrorists? Those Han terrorists who attack Cafundeu? Were in the Grand Democratic Duchy all along?" It was the third time she had gone over this, and the three men in the room (Nabo, Minister of Foreign Affairs Jyorin Kiamelar, and Minister of Internal Affairs Davrain Nayadol, the three most senior people in the country, excluding Eliana, of course), glanced at each other. Well, Davrain and Nabo glanced at each other. Jyorin, an experienced negotiator, as well as one of the most brilliant men to ever hold his position (and Minister of Foreign Affairs was typically the position in the government that Yaforites excelled the most at, given their unique ability to understand foreign policy in the world) had been Eliana's best appointment, as well as a sop thrown to the LCP. There were rumors he was planning on making a run for the Elected Ducal position in December, but Nabo tended to discount those - Jyorin hated talking in public (a strange trait for a Minister of Foreign Affairs, to be sure, but it was mostly due to the fact he only wanted to talk when it was necessary, not otherwise), and Elected Duke was a position that fit him like a square peg fit a round hole.

"Eliana, calm down and think about this. A great leader isn't remember because of what he or she does in a time of peace, but in a time of adversity. Remember that?" Nabo looked slightly taken aback, then remembered. It was a paraphrasing of a Halladi proverb that was very well-known in the Grand Democratic Duchy. "This isn't something that happened because you wanted it to or because of something that you did. You know this. Last time something like this happened, you managed to capitalize on the Alanor investigation by ending up here. You could do that again." Eliana was not really nodding like a little girl, as one would have expected, given Kiamelar's words. Instead, Eliana was looking thoughtfully at the pile of folders that lay slammed together into a heap on her desk. Reaching downwards, she began to remove folders quickly, pausing as she finally reached whatever she had been looking for in the first place, and then smiled prospectively.

"Davrain. What does the Ministry of Immigration catalog regarding refugees?" As Minister of Internal Affairs, in the odd scheme of Yaforite bureaucracy, where everything was either Internal Affairs or Foreign Affairs, and then divided further down from there, the Ministry of Immigration fell under Internal Affairs, though it would have made no sense to someone who wasn't from the Grand Democratic Duchy. Davrain Nayadol, a young man who had previously been Minister of Foreign Affairs under Rudiv Sodo in his last term looked up, startled at being addressed. He was known as Sodo's handpicked heir and his transfer to becoming Minister of Internal Affairs was not simply Eliana Dagora putting talent to use, but had also been a bone to the PLP-YKMK bloc in terms of votes, as they adored their young star. Nayadol was a danger, of course, in Nabo's eyes, but he was a danger who could be taught, for the time being. It was one of the few well-supported moves Eliana had done.

But Davrain Nayadol was good at what he did - especially at delegating authority (where Eliana had her greatest weakness). He certainly tried to know everything he could about his department and, in this case at least, he knew precisely to what Eliana was alluding. "I believe they categorize people based on where they are from." He stared at the ceiling for a second, trying to recall the precise details of what the Ministry of Immigration did in relation to refugees. "If I recall correctly," which, from Davrain Nayadol, was as good as promise, "they take pictures, addresses, occupations, DNA samples, that kind of stuff, from all refugees who enter the country legally, via the refugee protection. Is that what you are looking for?" From the answering grin on Eliana Dagora's face, that was exactly what she had been looking for.

"Jyorin, contact the Cafundelense - tell them we have information on refugees. It might not be what they are looking for, but let them know that we really are behind them one-hundred percent. Davrain, contact PERNAS. Tell them to get onto this investigation - two intelligence services are better than one. Nabo, has this leaked to the press?" The Chief Minister rapidly shuffled some papers, then came up with the response. "Ajerite Sun and Chelmar Times are already asking for quotes, ma'am. Should I tell them that it's an ongoing investigation, and ask them to delay publication until we've arrested somebody." All three men nodded and left the room. This was when Eliana Dagora was at her best - when she was on the warpath. When there was nowhere to go but up.

[OOC: Once again, this is entirely separate from everything else in the RP.]

The following is an excerpt from the "Daily Quotes" Section of the Times of Chelmar.

Reporter: As you know, Mr. Hollow, there are reports that your striker David Insfield has moved to your nation of Ad'ihan. Champions CF Mont-Pluie, apparently. Can you confirm or deny these, and what's your opinion on this?

Dave Hollow: Confirm, naturally. I can tell you this - I'd much rather he goes to Mont-Pluie than to l'OP. [laughs] Of course, Protectorate United is best, naturally.

In all honesty, though, I'm glad he's going to Ad'ihan. It'll be good for Ad'ihani football to get not only new blood, but also some blood from Yafor 2 - I think everyone could learn a bit from Yaforite play, and Ad'ihan especially. I'll be disappointed for him with Protectorate United beat him, of course, but I'll be glad when he, and his team, beat up on Olympique Protectorat. Oh, you wanted a one-liner of some sort? That's not something I'm great at, sorry.

KENNETH: Four years ago, the Dancougar Black Wings were supposed to be hopeless underdogs at the World Cup. But with a little passion and a lot of help, they made it out of the first round and eventually went out in the quarters. Since then, they've finished fourth at the Oxen Cup and go into tonight's game with Zwangzug on a thirteen match unbeaten streak. As Linda Dimes reports, teams are no longer going to be surprised by the Wings.

(Pre-recorded segment)

LINDA: In the ten years since Dancougar began playing competitive internationals, much has changed at home. When they entered Baptism of Fire 26, the Wings were completely made up of college players drawn a system of leagues which had just finished expanding to its current form. The spring tournament did not yet exist. Nor did professional football, until two years ago. But since those first steps onto the world pitch, Dancougar has developed a pool of professional talent in the D-League and abroad. This Black Wing team is the first one to be totally comprised of professionals, and with many players now in their late twenties and early thirties, this may be the peak of Dancougar's first generation.

IKEDA: It's something we take for granted now, even though hardly any time has gone by... but when you get a chance to play year round for so long, it's going to improve your game. All of the guys have been doing that.

YUKIKAZE: It's, it's definitely overwhelming at first, to go up against so many talented players and teams. But we can't just sit back and just say, "Well, we're not ready yet." We're ready. We have to be. There's no point in playing the game if we can't present a real challenge.

LINDA: The Wings appeared to be cooling down after their World Cup run. In the Oxen Cup, the team rode an offensive explosion to the semifinals, where defensive issues finally gave way, and the team suffered successive defeats against Newmanistan and Qazox. And before qualifying got underway, Newmanistan defeated them again, this time in Yuki City. With the team in disarray, DuPont looked to his veteran players to step up and take command of the game. Five players are making their third run at the Cup - Brandon Barclay, Jericho Leyton, Boris Boskov, Akira Morimoto, and Hideo Ikeda. The Wings have not looked back.

DYLANDY: You can learn a lot from guys who've been here before. Akira, he just came into practice the day after the friendly, and he worked his ass off. That really hit me... the guy was a starter, no question, but he was going at it like a guy fresh out of high school trying to get off the bench.

TUSCANY: It means a lot to know the guys have your back. They play in Cafundeu, Elves, they don't care. If they don't win here, they're just another bunch of guys who didn't have it. They expect us to be just as good as them, and expect themselves to be better. That's dedication.

LINDA: Tonight's match against Zwangzug will be Dancougar's fifth against a top ten opponent since qualifying began. So far, they have three wins and a draw. Says coach Charles DuPont, "The time for excuses is long over. We're always playing to win. If we don't get a result, it's not because they outrank us or we were terrible... it's because they played the better game, period." As for Zwangzug, analysts are saying that the team might play more cautious football following a 1-0 win against Vephrall. The question is whether the Wings will also play conservative or come out aggressive... both teams know that a win tonight would put them in good position to reach the second round. Reporting from Airport City - Linda Dimes, DSPN.

(Studio!)

KENNETH: And if the game between Squornshelous and Vephrall is a draw, then a winner in Dancougar vee Zwangzug would qualify for the second round. Jack Thompson joins us now, as he's waiting anxiously for the next World Bowl to roll around, and has some free time to talk real football with us. Now, Jack, the Wings have played "let-down" games before after a big win, how is Charles DuPont going to deal with that?

JACK: Well, Ken, you just need to keep to business as usual. Don't change anything up now that you've got something that works. Boskov and Yukikaze have first yellows, but it seems like they're going to start anyway. No changes. And that should say a lot to the guys, as well. It's a vote of confidence from the coach that he thinks you've got what it takes to perform at a high level, so that should give them a boost. Will it be easy? Not by a long shot. Zwangzug has a strong midfield and a very balanced gameplan. Brendan Deguela in the middle, he's the glue that holds the team together, and he can distribute the ball like it's nobody's business.

KENNETH: Now, we know you're one of those American football guys, but as someone who's covered the game before, what has impressed you the most about this Black Wing team?

JACK: Yuji Watanabe has been outstanding in goal throughout qualifying, and he looked good against Squornshelous. It's a rare talent that can crack a poll of top players in a league like Cafundeu's, and even rarer that he does it while on loan to a smaller team. But Watanabe's reflexes haven't dulled since the last cup, he's playing a little more intelligently than before... and I know we don't normally give the defense credit, but come on, they have lapses just like everyone. Some of those guys are pretty good. Berber's gotten better at his marking, and Barclay's still pretty sharp on the outside.

KENNETH: And watch, now you'll jinx it.

JACK: (Laughs)

KENNETH: Thanks for stopping by, Jack.

Once again, the Cafundelense Elite Group of the army was going after the Mujeongbu terrorists. But this time, they had to go to another country, for the last part of this search: Yafor 2. The Counselor-Minister and General Lars Winnear decided to stay in Cafundéu, due to his advanced age and to the fact that he is part of the government, and had to solve other issues. But he was still considered the leader of the mission. But the real field leader was the General Braga Nunes, the second most important member of the Cafundelense army, who seemed the most motivated member of the group, happy to be in such an important mission. With him, other five high-ranked members of the army: General Alípio Brandão, General Octávio Machado Flex, General Gabriel Arcoverde, Major Beatriz Steffens and Special Agent Fred Cardoso, already famous for working on important missions for Cafundéu, including the kidnapping of The Scout (when he was still a young agent. He was even shot by an anti-football kidnapper during the mission) and the Kita Oliver kidnapping (when he was already more experienced).

The group couldn't fail. That's why it had so many high-ranked officers. The Empress wanted this mission to bring positive results, and to end soon. The officers involved in it should be the best available. Some politicians even asked why the Empress didn't call the AEICC to help in the investigations, since the special agency had already finished the investigations about Paul Badder's death. But she knew what she was doing. Lars Winnear was excited with the mission, with a chance to punish the terrorists which ordered the attack over Cafundéu. The army had an important mission to make, and he wouldn't allow any external interference. "It's my baby" - he said once. So, she knew that it would be better to let the army work alone in this mission, with only the help of the Daehanjeiguk agents, which were probably reaching Yafor 2 soon.

Then, as soon as the group arrived in the Ajer airport, their guide greeted them. It was a spy, who was a friend of both the Cafundelense ambassador in Yafor 2 than of the Yaforite ambassador in Cafundéu.

"Agent Reinaldo Garrucha ready for service, sir!"

Braga Nunes couldn't control his anxiety.

"Glad to meet you, agent. So, where do we start? Where are the terrorists hiding?"

"It is not so simple, sir. We still have to find them. But I have good news for you in this area. The Yaforite government is doing their best to help us in this matter, and sent to our embassy the list of all the Daehanjeiguk refugees in their country, with photos, full address and even DNA samples. It won't be difficult to find them."

"That's excellent. We need to check these immigrants one by one, with the help of the Daehanjeiguk agents. I know that they keep a database with the info of the Mujeongbu terrorists, all we need to do is to compare these data to find the ones that planned the attack over Cafundéu. They cannot escape!"

"That's right, sir! We are more than ready to capture them. They cannot escape. The Yaforite police is aware of the situation and is controlling the population traffic in their borders. Also, they sent some special agents to help us in our mission."

"That seems good, agent. Now we have three different groups working together to find and capture those terrorists. Maybe these Mujeongbu involved in the attacks in Cafundéu are even influential ones among the group, which would make the success of this mission even greater."

"That's great, sir. But first, we need to find them."

"Where to search?"

"I think we'll have to wait a bit, sir. This city is far too big, we cannot go searching without clues. First, we need the help of the Daehanjeiguk agents in selecting the right suspects."

"Yes, we need to go after every Han immigrant inside Yafor 2!"

"This must be our first step, sir. Then, we'll discover who among them are terrorists."

"So let's do it."

It was a tense meeting. The Crown Prince had called it immediately after the Emperor had been announced as stable and recovering, and the Ministers could all see that the Prince was angry. The country was in the midst of a World Cup, and news of terror attacks so calamitous would go well with the people. How could the Empire spend so much of its attention to the World Cup, when people overseas were dying from the very scoundrels that were trying to create a global anarchic state? Unacceptable in the eyes of many.

"What did we know about any of this before it happened?" the Crown Prince asked. The panel of Ministers were somewhat silent.

Pak Yu - the Foreign Minister - stood up, to offer his intelligence on international relations: "Sire, before we continue, I must protest that this war declaration upon countries that harbor terrorists is foolhardy."

"How so?"

"The Mujeongbu do not operate in the conventional manner. They hop from country to country, taking citizenship in countries that accept them. It's a very hard thing to track, especially since we don't have anyone on the inside of their ranks. The Mujeongbu float in our world; it's impossible to target any one country, especially if they are unaware of their presence."

"We're not at war with those that unknowingly play to the Mujeongbu. But those countries that willingly side with the Mujeongbu."

"Who decides that?" Pak asked. "We cannot become the judge on this matter. Our best hope is to rely upon the Hwarang and our intelligence to stop the Mujeongbu."

"We've tried that. It has not been working. The Mujeongbu are a nemesis to civilization, and to let them persist by our tacit compliance with their tactics is irresponsible and inexcusable! They've probably killed more people now than the number of fatalities from all of the wars that the Han fought in the past 50 years."

"Perhaps, we need to rational about this business. Our military is under some reforms, and a war is not the best time to test them."

Duke Weon - Head of the Hwarang - stepped up, patting Pak Yu's shoulders. "The Minister speaks with some reason, but I think that the Crown Prince's move does us some good somehow."

The Ministers all gasped in awe. The Duke explained his reasoning. "Before now, the countries of the world have been accepting Mujeongbu and Han expatriates all alike. Why should they discriminate against them? There was nothing to distinguish them before. And even now, the Mujeongbu have yet to attack broadly against all nations. It seems that the burden is upon us to prove that the terrorists are Mujeongbu. But now, we have shifted some of that burden to the countries. Whereas our citizens have lawful documents to prove their citizenship, the Mujeongbu are outlaws and have no proof. Now - the countries of the world have a duty to cast away the Mujeongbu and reject them, as visitors and as citizens. It puts the Mujeongbu in the spotlight too - since countries will be checking now.

"But there is one cause for concern. The Mujeongbu have been hiding in many countries, and how far they have established themselves in different countries can be difficult to tell. I have reports from Cafundeu, suggesting that Yaforites were the intermediary - but from where did the Yaforites come? Did they come directly from the Han Empire? Not likely. They might have passed through some other country before finding their way to that country. And how the terrorists in Cafundeu made it to that country - that too is a mystery. And the terrorist attack on our own embassy..." The Duke glanced at Pak Yu for a moment. "... in Starblaydia should also be of concern. They have not lost sight of their original objectives, and it seems that they are starting to gain confidence in their methods. To make them outlaws - not only in the Empire, but also in the world - shall put great pressure upon their newer ranks. And with this pressure, we will force the Mujeongbu to hide in different places. And we can follow them then to these places."

The Crown Prince seemed to approve of the Duke's statements, leaving the Ministers to ponder the next move. The war would stand - but as the Duke mentioned, what of the Mujeongbu that are already established?

"I want the Hwarang to step up their efforts to track and dispose of the Mujeongbu. If the Mujeongbu can be found - they will be eliminated."

The Ministers all stood. The Duke stayed behind, hoping to converse alone with the Crown Prince. "You carry a huge burden. And with the way things appear, the Emperor will abdicate in your favor."

"10 years as Emperor. And I will take the yoke..."

"Sire. I must confess that the Hwarang have been trying to stop the Mujeongbu for quite some time, but we have been limited in our abilities because of Imperial oversight on Foreign missions."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I suggest that the Moon Hwarang (the covert branch) take limited freedom in arranging the deployment of agents to areas of necessity. We should have the ability to plant our agents to counter the Mujeongbu threat."

"There is Imperial oversight for a reason - to prevent any person from abusing their power."

"Abuse of power is one thing, but restraint is another. I'm asking that the Hwarang be granted leniency to conduct missions that other missions would not normally afford. To states we don't recognize; that is the critical point."

"I can see some of your reasoning, but I will have to discuss this with father (the Emperor)."

"I see. But I remind you also that in time, you will have to make that decision yourself."

"I know that. That's what troubles me."

The Duke nodded. "I need your approval before I can submit the Hwarang to conduct their business in the manner best suited for our tasks." With that, he departed the chamber, leaving the Crown Prince alone to think. The Duke was manipulating the Crown Prince's naivety, and he knew it - but was it to the Empire's advantage, or was it simply conniving convenience?

RP CUTOFF FOR MD2 - GROUPS E-H

http://www.benandjerrys.com/assets/images/fun_stuff/papercrafts/action_cow.gif (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13804957&postcount=20)

Click the cow for scores!

Jeruselem Government News

Princess Marie gets acting spot in Dr Who

Our own Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas will team with Dr Who in a future episode. On a planet called "New Jerusalem", the fledging colony of genetically modified humans lead by Queen Sheba played our Marie. JGN got a hint of the plot, mainly to do with her and the good Doctor getting chased around by rogue Cybermen who want to eliminimate the colony and take over the planet.

There will no nudity but Marie will have a beach scene in a bikini where she escapes from some Cybermen and proves Cybermen can't swim. Marie secretly went for audition under another name "Kara Keeley". To take advantage of the fact our Marie can play football, they will be a scene where Kara defeats some cybermen using a metal football and some gravity boots.

A BBC producer said
"She's a quite a good actress. We were surprised that Kara Keeley was really Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas of Jeruselem. We did understand she wanted to be anonymous for the audition to remove any bias if she had used her real name. The fact she can do her own stunts was good as she didn't want a stunt double. We promise, it will be a very good episode and Marie seemed the right choice. She seems very keen on this and has even taken up acting lessons to make sure she gets everything right. It's ironic she comes from Jeruselem and plays the leader of the humans on planet New Jerusalem. Yes, we have been warned she tends not to wear clothes. Yes, we are still paying her to work for us because it's the right thing to do although it's peanuts compared to what she earns from her business empire."

QBC WORLD CUP XLI COVERAGE

"Hello all, I'm Beck Davidham, We here at QBC are here to cover the Qazox-Milchama match live from the Great Mets Stadium in Pointe Sud. This will mark the first Major competition meeting for the Pheonix and Milchama. The only other meeting was in second edition of the Draggonnii Inviyattii, over 40 years ago, a 1-0 win for Milchama. Can Qazox avenge a 40-year old grudge? or will the 3rd best team in the world show why they are deserving of that rank?

The referees are ready, the anthems have been played, and we're ready to go!"

<Match fast Forward>
"35th minute still no score as Qazox and Milchama seemingly cannot decide to press forward an attack. The picture of Avi Belmowitz has it and it is tackled hard by Georgianne Shillingford and Oh my.. the picture of Avi Belmowitz has been torn in half by Shillingford's cleat, and it is being taken off the field. One can only hope there is an existing negative or it is uploaded on a hard drive, or else that will be a huge loss for Milchama. In comes James Gamliel, who is not a photograph, and therefore should be tougher to be ripped apart, one hopes."

<Match fast Forward>
"Just minutes into the 2nd half, still nil-nil and tragedy strikes Milchama once again as the picture of Marc J. Floren has befallen the same fate as the picture of Avi Belmowitz, and this time the referee has issued a yellow to Cyrus Stasinos for the hard tackle, understandably so, as this is the second time in the match this has happened, and Allen Varens has come in for the subistution."


<Match fast Forward>
"67th minute here in Great Mets Stadium in Pointe Sud, still scoreless, but ever since the 2nd injury replacement for Milchama, they have barely attacked and have allowed Qazox to dominate the offensive end. Perhaps they are trying to avoid having A picture of Floren Albentine suffer the same fate as the other two photographs, or they believe that they can just earn a draw and place themselves in good postition to advance. Knocked out by Patrick Kerf for a corner, and Maria Reyes sets it up, waiting for the Pheonix to get into postition. Reyes sends it high over the 'head' of the tomato and GOOOOOOOALLLL!!! The Banana was completely fooled by Renna Valladores' shot and with just under 20 minutes to go, it's Qazox up by a goal!"

<Match End>
Qazox gets probably it's biigest World Cup win ever over Milchama and only a draw against Jasiyun stands between history and utter failure, again. Can Qazox finally make that leap into the upper class of the world, or will it be another long 4 year wait? Until the next match, we bid you adieu."

We have other score from Group H, and here it is:
Jasiyun 3-2 Bettia

And the match summary for all:
Sub: Milchama- James Gamliel in for A picture of Avi Belmowitz 35'
Qazox- Cyrus Stasinos- 49'
Sub: Milchama- Allen Varens in for A picture of Marc J. Floren 49'
Qazox: (Goal) Renna Valladores 68'

WORLD CUP STATISTICS:
Goals:
Anderson Tarricone- 1
Raul de Olivares- 1
Renna Valladores- 1

Bookings:
Reyes- 1 Yellow
Stasinos- 1 Yellow

QUALIFYING STATISTICS:
Goals:
Kallie Jaus- 5 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 4
Renna Valladores- 4
Raul de Olivares- 2
Stevie Spingler
Charles Marquis (1 PK)
Letta Smicht
Willow Farmwald

Bookings:
Spingler- 1 RED (missed the 2nd Zwangzug match)
Shillingford- 1 Yellow
Stasinos- 1 Yellow
Reyes- 1 Yellow
Heberly- 1 Yellow
de Olivares- 1 Yellow
Valladores- 1 Yellow

SCOTTY: Sportscenter rolls on, and we have the latest World Cup scores and highlights. It was Charles DuPont who said that his team could hang with the best, and those are words that shot straight into the ears of the Zwangzug national team. It's the first meeting between the two, although Dancougar does have some history with the nation - it was in Zwangzug where they entered international football, at Baptism of Fire 26. And what a game this was... a wild finish, a deluge of goals, and both defenses were left shaking their heads after this one. Airport City, where earlier in the day, Squornshelous took down Vephrall. And Zwangzug asked questions early. Captain Stephen Ruck gets the first look at goal in minute seven, as he weaves around Boskov to fire a long shot through the defense. He was counting on a screen, but Watanabe has it all the way.

KENNETH: Minute fourteen, sight of goal for the Wings, as Jericho Leyton's through ball almost finds the foot of Jinguuji. A bit too far, as Jinguuji can only tip it painfully wide. Minute nineteen, Jinguuji almost gets behind Card yet again, but the cross sails over his head and out for a goal kick. First goal, five minutes later. Zwangzug counterattack, as Barnes... Deguela... steps up and takes a crack! Watanabe dives for it, but look at the blur from the left side of the box... Rohit SHARMA! Sharma pops up to redirect it behind Watanabe, and look at the power on this ball. Watanabe can only watch the ball hit the side netting, and it's 1-0 to Zwangzug. Thirty first minute, now, still 1-0. Berber appears to handle the ball inside the box, but nobody calls it. Sharma shouts for a penalty, Vanderpent is fuming, but we play on. And if you take a closer look... Casey got away with one!

SCOTTY: But the Wings can't take advantage, because right before the forty mark, it's Zwangzug again. Maini gets the ball at the edge of the box, marked closely by Yukikaze. Taps it back to Keller... give and go! And he's behind Yukikaze, and slips the ball under Watanabe's legs. Five-hole, two goal, and Zwangzug are cruising. But just before halftime, the Wings pull one back. Whittaker with the corner... Jinguuji puts a head to it, going wide... but Ikeda runs in for the tap at the far post! An error by Instonenext, she pinned herself to the post and looked like she was about to take a swing at it instead of stepping up. It's all the time Ikeda needs to poke it home, and we go into the break 2-1. Coach DuPont, what do you think?

DUPONT: (Halftime interview, on the field) I think we've had some good chances, but we've definitely got to close down their attack... we're giving them too much room to move around. Forty five minutes; it could go either way.

KENNETH: Oooooh, if only he knew what was coming. A slow start to the second half, though, as both teams dig in. Instonenext sends in a cross that Berber deals with, denying Maini the header. Here's a crack from Boskov, wide of goal. The Wings were trying to create, but rather than wait for the right moment, they pulled the trigger early. Even Morimoto was guilty of a bad take, here from thirty yards out... Sonal Kaur watches it fly over the bar. Now, you'd think Dancougar would have an easier time creating chances, as Zwangzug actually doesn't play with a goalie. A 3-5-3, and yet, look at the lack of space! The midfield was playing strong as a unit to keep the Wings back, but DuPont isn't happy down on the sideline... he expects better from his team.

SCOTTY: Minute sixty seven, they're finally level. Dylandy came in for Weatherford, so the Wings switch up to a 3-5-2. And right away, he makes an impact. Dylandy whips it away from Barnes and dribbles through the traffic. He challenges Kucinich, beats her! Keller, beats her! And how about the presense of mind to lay it off for Morimoto instead of trying to beat Kunal... it's a low blast into the net for Akira, and we're all level with around twenty minutes to play. Seventy fifth minute, Wings come close to the lead, as Dylandy's cross finds Jinguuji near the back post, but Instonenext gets her head to it. Over the bar! Corner kick, and cleared away! Tense moments at the Zwangzug net. Minute seventy eight, they break out. The start of a frantic final fifteen minutes is this effort by Megan Kucinich. She gets the ball at the top of the box, takes a step, and fires. Watanabe dives and pushes it wide... rebound by Vanderpent! Somehow Watanabe save sit, but Kucinich kept the play going and this time she puts it home. And that's just bad defense by the Black Wings to yield two offensive rebounds in the box. DuPont can only shake his head at that one. It's 3-2.

KENNETH: Five minutes later, Zwangzug appear to put the game away. And Rohit Sharma once again is the thorn in the side of the Dancougar defense. Vanderpent pushes forward, near the goal line, and sents a cross back across the box. Berber gets a leg to it and deflects it out... and Sharma sends it right back in!! OH, WHAT A HIT! GO~LA~ZO! And as bad as that goal is for the Wings, you have to admire the class of that shot. It curls away from Watanabe as it heads for the far corner, and it takes a friendly bounce in off the post. Yuji can't believe it... it's his worst performance since Cafundeu put up six on him during World Cup 40 qualifiers. But Dancougar refuses to die quietly. Minute eighty six, Morimoto takes a crack. Instonenext clears it off the line, and Dylandy's volley nails the crossbar! Minute eighty seven, Zwangzug still forced to defend. Ruck thinks he's cleared it, but Barclay hoofs it into the box, where somehow, Hideo Ikeda knocks it in with his head! Kaur jumps for it but can't get his head to it, and it's 4-3!

SCOTTY: And we're not even done yet! Shiro Furuya is on for Boskov, so it's 3-4-3. Furuya's shot is bounced out by Barnes. Berber crosses back in, headed out by Instonenext. Leyton aggressively goes for the ball and commits the foul... QUICK RESTART! And suddenly it's Zwangzug who are on the break! Vanderpent has help, and with too many midfielders lagging the play for the Wings, he hits a low pass to a streaking Rohit Sharma. HAT TRICK! Watanabe throws himself at it, but it was always destined for the back of the net. Ninety plus one, it's 5-3, and the referee blows for full time. He's had enough jogging up and down the field, and Zwangzug - worthy winners!

KENNETH: It's good Sharma for Zwangzug, who go to the top of the group with six points. Their last game is against Squornshelous, who are even with Dancougar on three points, but third in the group due to the head to head result. This sets up a simple scenario for the Wings against Vephrall - win and you're in. A loss will make things complicated depending on the goal differential, but it's likely that they'll be in trouble. And it's that very scenario which gives Vephrall life... will they follow the same route Dancougar did in World Cup 40? Squornshelous need to leapfrog Dancougar on points to have a shot at the next round, so they'll also be hoping that Vephrall can get the job done.

World Cup 41 Group A
MD1: Sel Appa 2-1 Daehanjeiguk (@ Gwangju)
MD2: Bazalonia --- Daehanjeiguk (@ Hanseong)
MD3: Daehanjeiguk --- Wentland (@)

(this officially takes place before Group E-H MD2)

Tripped!
with Mr. Pak

Well, it's time for another journey, and you've already had some fun. Let's talk some sights! The Great Wall is always the first destination for some odd reason - it's just a bunch of stones made with forced labor (kinda like the Pyramids). If you want to see the real sights, go to the mountains.

Jumulangma: Tallest mountain in the world - well, according to our books, it is. But with all of the hype about the World Cup, you had a golden opportunity during the Baptism of Fire to make a day's visit to the base camp of the mountain in one day and have enough time to get back to Lasa for the matches. But it's a majestic mountain - too bad we only claim one half of it.

Songsan: Home of the Sholim Monastery, it's a quiet and majestic mountain, claimed by resident Taoists to be sacred ground. Of course, the Buddhists also claim the mountain as holy, but no one is quite certain what lends it its mystical power. Regardless, the scenery is magnificent and you'd be a fool to pass an opportunity to spend an afternoon on its slopes.

Wudangsan: Another one of those holy mountains, the Taoists have heralded Wudangsan as the birthplace of Taeji Martial Arts. For the average tourist, you've got a breathtaking view of the mountains, and it's just beautiful. The buildings have survived the centuries and the temple structure is still used by Wudang disciples. Just be sure to avoid following any the folklore of the mountains.

Baekdusan: Another gorgeous mountain, it's a holy mountain for the ancient people of Joseon and Manju. At the summit is a crater lake (the mountain is a supposedly extinct volcano), surrounded by a serene environment. The slopes are famed for their ginseng roots, while the natural habitat is home to some of the last remnants of tigers in the Empire. Of course, take care while visiting the mountain - there are dangers that come with the beauty.

Hallasan: Another volcano, you can find this summit on Jeju Island. A subtropical paradise, one visit to the island is pretty a visit for a long time. You'll be fascinated with the history of the island, and the visit to the summit is also a breathtaking view of the terrain and the ocean. Fortunately, there are fewer dangers on the island.

Oksan: "Jade" Mountain, as it is called, is another island mountain, but on the more spacious Daeman Island. The mountain boasts a towering perspective of Daeman, especially along the east coast. The surrounding vegetation is also mystifying, and if you're feeling really adventurous, take a hike through one of the many trails to find yourself looking at prehistoric forests.

Well, there's plenty of other mountains, but I've just listed the most popular ones. Your guide might have a better selection, so ask him/her/it what he/she/it feels about a trip to the mountains. It's one of the few things that every Han citizen does at least once a year, so take some time from the daily grind to get a breath of mountain air!

World Cup Today
with Mr. Gang

It's time for your reports on what happened in Ad'ihan.

Group E saw the clash of several titans, with Starblaydia holding Casari to an intelligible 1-1 draw while West Starblaydia blunted the host's hopes to take the first win with their own 1-1 draw. I can bet that the atmosphere in the stadium was particularly enthralling. The result has nonetheless put the shift on the latter matches, with the last matches (Casari --- Ad'ihan/Starblaydia --- West Starblaydia) especially important. Expect to see heads fly here.

Group F was interesting in that everyone also drew 1-1. Valanora and Cafundeu tried to drill through each other, but their strikers found few holes; and Taeshan confirmed their place in the World Cup by holding Jeruselem (for the second time in three matches this Season) to a 1-1 draw. It must have been frustrating for the Ad'ihani guards to restrain the notable "visiting" crowd from throwing pistachios, but unfortunately, I haven't gotten the official report yet on that. All that I know is that the pistachios somehow stayed off the field and off the shelves at the same time.

Group G was the most interesting group of all, where both matches saw winners and losers. Dancougar pulled off one of the biggest upsets in the tournament, putting the perennial powerhouses - Squornshelous - by a 2-1 margin. Short margin, but considering the Psychoes typically blast their opponents with many goals (Han fans will recall the 4-1 thrashing in WC40), Dancougar's defense found the magic against a strong offensive force, while their strikers pulled off a critical two goal lead in the first half. They'll still hope to equal their gains with a win against Zwangzug, who also won their contest against Vephrall. It was a gentlemen's affair match, with a lot of pomp but little circumstance. In the end, it was a single goal that separated the two sides, but Zwangzug will be encouraged to have seen Dancougar's talents play against the stronger Squornshelous - their assistants will probably be analyzing the tapes for weaknesses in both teams. Meanwhile, Vephrall faces a stiff challenge in beating Squornshelous - just to stay alive.

Group H was another interesting contest, where Bettia and Qazox dueled to a 2-2 drew, while Milchama suddenly found life (literally) and beat out JSY in the first match. By some wist of fortune, the banana goalkeeper sprung to life and gave some thrills to an otherwise inanimate team (literally and figuratively). The pictures all managed to get into the right places somehow to score the two goals too, but more news is getting through about some witchdoctor that managed to pull the strings on the banana. The sentient fruit joins the long list of other sentient fruit and things that otherwise are not sentient, but the Milchama FA declined any interviews with the fruit, fearing that a gorilla parade might threaten the already timid banana. Our sketch artists have provided for us a figment of that very goalkeeper of the team right here:

http://lc.fdots.com/cc/lc/ea/eaf96e3242bfaa02573949a6ced1f349.gif

Well, until MD2, have some fun in the sun! It's beautiful weather for footy (unless you're down south in the storms and everything...).

Health
with Dr. Pu

When in the Han Empire, you really have to get to know your insects in order to gauge the healthiness of your food. Not all insects are indicative of bad/unsanitary food, so here's a few clues to the best places to eat.

GOOD

Crickets: Usually seen as a sign of good luck, you'll sometimes see crickets all over the place. In rural areas, people will even invite crickets into their home; sometimes, they'll take extreme measures and cage them so that "good luck" won't leave the house. Of course, there's also the cricket fighting that supposed to be outlawed, but usually a good fight arena also boasts some good food (just take care that you don't eat the buggers).

Dead Locusts: I make this distinction for a good reason. Dead locusts are food, and usually a lot of them make a good dish. If you're from the West, that is. Locusts apparently are palatable, and since they pop up every year and swarm over the deserts, people have taken to eating them. I wouldn't eat them, but at least the dead ones means that there was a good harvest this year.

Butterflies: Pretty bugs, and they're often seen in gardens. Gardens = fresh vegetables. No sensible restaurant has a garden without any vegetables, so if you see a parade of butterflies, take care to prepare for a really good salad.

Dragonflies: They're also majestic bugs, and because they're one of the good bugs, a lot of dragonflies means that you've got a healthy lake nearby. Healthy lakes generally mean great water, so the quality of food should be superb. Plants and animals alike don't like stale water, and neither should you. Just take care to avoid them, because they're also fast buggers.

NOT GOOD

Cockroaches: The bug of omens - it's not that they're disgusting (although they are); it usually means that food has been left around somewhere. And somewhere there's a fest of insects eating the food, meaning germs are spreading. Although take care that some restaurants keep roaches for useful tools (roaches make excellent earthquake detectors, and I've heard of some places using them for acupuncture... not sure how). In general, roaches are bad.

Flies: Depends on the type of fly, but usually they're the sort of bugs that sit on poo, and they're one of the fastest vectors of germ transportation. Especially in the countryside - take care that you avoid the flies. I'd say more bad than good.

Moths: Usually the bugs will flutter around lights at night, and they're really annoying if they get too close to the food, but take care that they also infest plants and people's clothing. If you see a lot of moths, the place is probably really old and needs to have a little fresh blood to liven the spirit (but don't make it your blood).

BAD

Live Locusts: Bad for one very good reason - SWARM! Get out of there as soon as possible.

Mosquitoes: They're annoying, and they breed in bad water too. Probably a swamp is nearby. Anyway, just get away before your body turns into a lump of sore bites.

Ants: They're one of the worst ones - means that food is lying somewhere and they're being particularly efficient at getting to it. They'd be just as bad as roaches, but the fact that they can multiply a lot faster makes them a bigger pest (and they are not excellent earthquake detectors). Although you might find an ant farm, ants crawling all over the place is just bad news. Go find somewhere else to enjoy your meal.

Of course, this isn't the most comprehensive list you'll ever find, but it's worth starting somewhere. Besides, you really should try to avoid eating in the country anyway. One bad bite and you're finding yourself on a one-way trip to an emergency room about 1000 km away.

"Good afternoon Ron, please make yourself comfortable."

The aged old reporter smiled as he took off his drenched rain coat, placing it and his hat on the coat rack beside the book shelf. He smiled as the young elf who now wore a smile but emotional drained faced took a seat behind one of many desks inside the Raynor mansion. It was a rare occasion indeed, as journalists almost were never allowed on the property, much less inside the lavish estate to have an exclusive interview with the leader of the country.

Getting out his tools of the trade, a three inch spiral and a duo of sharpened pencils, Mr. Santapa took his seat in across from the majestic elf.

"Shall we begin then Tobias?"

"Yes Ron, we shall. It is the only path I see that will satiate the populace's demand for answers. So let the questions begin my old acquaintance, so that I may reap the seeds of tranquility that comes through truth."

"Very well. I guess we should begin with the most obvious question then. With the cloning facilities at your disposal, and DNA from all of those deceased, why have you not merely had those that fell be reborn as clones?"

"I was hoping you would ask that later, but if you must know, I will oblige you and the rest of the world's curiosity.

It's quite simple really. The cloning facilities can only process a few hundred thousand units at a time. At maximum capacity, this equates to approximately 500,000 units being made, maintained, and educated at any given time. Then when you add in the fact that even at the most accelerated growth rate, a unit still takes two years to mature. Add in another six months for the unit to have the memories of the original implanted, and it takes thirty months just to make a single clone.

So think about it Ron, we lost just over eight and half billion souls to the Tides of Darkness. Think of how long and at what cost if would take to recreate all of those poor individuals. Then how do you decide who gets remade in what order? What do you tell their loved ones? "Oh, we are doing our best, but unfortunately your son and daughter are lower in the pecking order." It would be just absolute chaos Ron. Far better to suffer our despairs and mourning than to ravage the country with another edition of chaos"

"I see. It must of not been an easy decision, especially with your age, but how do you account for some of those that are killed before and were immediately replaced by clones?"

"Ah, well, the Senate does not like chaos my friend, so as a sort of preemptive strike, there a certain members of the country who already had clones. It's funny, because I was informed that their are at least five clones of myself ready to step in should I ever suffer some ill-fate."

"This is quite interesting Tobias, but it makes me somewhat concerned as well. I've always known that the Senate had these facilities and the DNA to produce a clone of me, but how do they decide should have a clone already. What sort of priorities or station do these people have to possess. I understand the reasoning behind having the leader cloned, but what of the others?"

"That I cannot answer, as I do not know myself. The entire cloning business is left to the Senate unless in situations of extreme necessity. As you know, the only time that a situation arose was when Rosemary, Elune bless her, had her rebellion. Though I sometimes do wonder about the safety of allowing such technology to be possessed by that group, I trust enough of them to rest easy at night on that issue."

"Alright, how about we move onto matters of faith then? Is there anything you can tell me about the rumors that the High Priestess is not having her requests answered by Elune? Or perhaps the bigger rumor that Elune has quit answering the prayers of her people completely?"

"Well I'm not entirely sure what you mean Ron. I for one know that Elune is answering the prayers of our people, or else we would not be here. We should of been wiped off the face of the planet during those invasions Ron, you know this. Yet Elune was there to send Jas Hatire to our salvation and give us the strength to deliver ourselves to our salvation against the drow.

Now if you are asking about how the requests of the High Priestess for Elune to resurrect the dead, then aye, that is true. But does the public really need to know that Elune has turned her cheek, even if it might be for better? Would such a revelation destroy the faith of the country and shake us to our very core? For all we know, Elune is working her graces to restore us back to glory now. Best to strike that bit of information out of your notes there Ron."

"I see your point. While it is not the most comforting of information that I had expected to hear, it does serve to give me clarity. Alright, then just one last question. When can we expect an heir or two from you and your lovely wife?"

"Haha! The time will come Ron, for now, there are more important issues to take care of. It's always my country before me since I made the decision to take this office fully. While it does make me forgo some certain pleasurables, it is all for the better. I will have my time for life's little enjoyments, but for now, me and my bride both know that my heart is set on repairing this country of ours."

At Jeruselem Cybernetics Corporation ...

Man 1:
OK, this is the review of project Human V2. Unfortunately, all of our test subjects are now actually dead except for descendants of subject 16429732. All the other subjects didn't have children as we designed except something fucked up with subject 16429732 who produced two daughters and those two daughters produced 16 grandchildren. And some of those grandchildren have kids too.

Man 2: But how can we allow this to happen? Don't we terminate breeding experiments?
Man 1: Well, yes but in the case it'd be impossible.
Man 2: Surely we could do it subtly?
Man 3: You must be new here. You don't realise who we are talking about do you?

Man 2: Surely these Human V2 can be subtly removed over time?
Man 1: Subject 16429732 is Natasha Dallas, you idiot.
Man 3: Yes, now you know who we talking about?
Man 2: Oh, you mean we created the Dallas girls!

Man 1: Yes, and I can say it's been one of our best success stories.
Man 3: Yes, you can't ask for more producing a family a girls with supermodel looks, supreme atheletes and superior intelligence levels without destroying their human characteristics.
Man 2: Aren't we tampering with the human fabric by allowing our experiments to breed?
Man 1: My friend, if God gave us the technology to play God ... so be it.

Man 3: Yes, for example. Dazza Dallas seems to have fixed up those knees of hers.
Man 2: You mean ... regeneration?
Man 1: Admittedly, slow but we did a checkup on her. Her old football injuries have healed without scarring.
Man 3: But the experiment isn't over, we are planning a new round of tests.

Man 2: The current experiment seems to not have created any supermen, just superwomen.
Man 1: Yes, for some reason the genetic inheritance seems to have attached itself to the females not the males.
Man 3: We identified the problem with the original experiment which cause that.
Man 2: So why are the Dallas girls mostly short?

Man 1: Oh, well ... we transplant some Elf into the experiment.
Man 2: Elf genes?
Man 3: Err, yes. Not a lot, just a small bit - not much.
Man 2: So we aren't producing "pure" humans then ...

Man 1: Hey, God made Adam and Eve. He gave us the gift of creation too.
Man 4: I think we've done quite well with Human V2. It's not a bad product.
Man 2: Our crown-prince is mutant, isn't that an issue?
Man 1: If those Dallas girls are mutants, then I'd be quite happy.

Man 3: We just need to make sure, the next batch aren't quite as weird.
Man 2: So, why did pick a bunch of whores to test this gene manipulation on?
Man 1: It was a cheap alternative ...
Man 4: whores aren't the smartest people around.

Man 2: So we have a bunch of smart whores now.
Man 1: We're not using whores for the next test.
Man 3: We've got better subjects.
Man 2: Oh God, not students ...

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc40/
AEROPAG, JI · 2150–07–16 · 0.10 g Au

World Cup: Organizers lack balls, says Alesanka
DAEHANJEIGUK—According to several independent sources, World Cup 41 is undergoing a bit of a crisis—the blancmanges of the Holy Empire squad have taken to eating the official match balls in lieu of their opponents. The shortage resulted in the Capitalizt SLANI–Holy Empire match being called off after eighty-four minutes with the score at 1–1, much to the dismay of the heavily-favored Capitalizts. After an unsuccessful appeal to the organizing committee to have either the entire match or the final minutes replayed, manager Alfreda Alesanka had some harsh words at the press conference. “One thing is clear—the organizers of World Cup 41 don’t have the balls to be running a competition of this scale. These blancmanges shouldn’t even have been allowed to enter, let alone pull off a stunt like this.”

Critics of Alesanka’s position have been quick to point out that the Holy Empire squad qualified for the World Cup on sporting merit, and proved themselves worthy of playing in the competition through the eighty-four minutes of their match. “These sort of issues aren’t anything new,” said Sérjia Riba, one of the Capitalizt Élite League’s highest-rated referees. “Anyone remember the evisceratomatos? You can’t have a truly universal football tournament without running into a few snags.”

“The World Cup 41 match ball is so much better than the last few,” said a local blancmange, speaking on condition of anonymity. “None of those high-tech polymers to ruin the flavor like the World Cup 39 ball had, and the center is delightfully cr—” he got out before being stabbed.

With all four teams in Group B sitting level on one point, one goal scored, and one conceded, rumors have spread that the organizers also lack the small plastic balls needed to conduct a potential drawing of lots. TakilQuip, Globo Multimedia, and Samseong have reportedly purchased a quite large number of plastic balls to conduct draws for their respective club competitions, and as they are a rather specialized item, it is unclear whether the global supply is currently sufficient to meet increasing demand.

This is the RP cutoff for Groups A through D for Matchday Two.

MD2 scores, and stadia for both regions for MD3, found here (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13806322&postcount=21).

"Good game," said Zoe, "and I mean that."

"Thanks," said Rohit dryly. "The others sounded pretty sincere too."

"They're impressed because you scored three goals. I'm impressed you didn't score four or five."

Rohit raised the eyebrows he had narrowed.

"You know what I mean, don't pretend you don't. You've worked hard on passing, and you've had to do it yourself."

"Coach Mcgimpy helps."

"Coach? Mc-wait, you're actually serious." Zoe had been on the team one tournament longer than Rohit, and seen the more familiar side of their coach far more often.

"He sees a lot of potential in me. Not sure if it's there."

"Oh, I think plenty of people were convinced today. But Mcgimpy pushes you because you remind him of him." At his quizzical expression, Zoe quickly amended, "But sane. The rest of us...not me anymore. I play for Namiri, I understand. The others don't."

"They'll learn," Rohit said. "They'll learn because they have to."

"You're already teaching them. The hat trick was great, sure. Get them to imagine what they can do if they let you fit into the team...Hey! Sonal! Get over here!"

Sonal joined her teammates. "Mmhmm?"

"How do you pull it off?" Zoe demanded.

"Pull what off?"

"Anything. People like you, they just go, "Oh, that's Sonal. Hi." How do you do that?"

"This is not a popularity contest-" Rohit tried to interrupt.

But Sonal cut him off. "Not this again. Look, it's always going to be easier for me. Six defenders on Namiri, right? I lead by example, I just blend in. People can evaluate me by the way I play, not by any of this demographic stuff."

"And it's funny," Zoe pressed. "Well, in Sonal's case, anyway...Is anybody listening to me?"

She glanced around. Andrew was attempting to give Megan (who had been as shocked as everyone else at her goal) a high-five, Dirk was complaining about the locker size, and Natalie was asleep.

Rohit sighed. "Gary. Peter. Muus. Tomorrow morning, we're practicing. I gotta work on passing. You need to work on shooting? Aiming? Anything?"

Shrugs, nods.

"Maybe it's just that nobody around here is assertive," Sonal suggested.

"Maybe," Zoe nodded, her face fierce. "Or maybe we'll be a team yet."

"Let us pray." began Brother Zephus to the congregation. "We thank thee Lord of Scores for thy bountiful bounty of goals in our match with the unbelievers from Kura-Pallan, or whatever it is they call themselves, that Thy Hippos triumph once more to continue their unbeaten ways. We ask that thy blessings continue again for their next match that you keep Thy gaze turned away from the sinners from Demot who stand without a blessing for their sins.

"May we continue to strive forth undefeated as Thy banner is carried across the world that thy glory be seen again and again in the hopes that in time all shall see Thy truth and join us in our celebration of Thy glory.

"And if it so pleases Thee and we do move on to the next stage we ask that we not face someone like Az-cz or Milchama in the knockouts so we do not get knocked out swiftly and watch some team ranked far below Thy Hippos take advantage of an easier matchup and move towards eternal glory and the championship. Have we not suffered enough in the days of our blindness before You revealed yourself to us? Let our journey end in triumph this one time. We are worthy o Lord, send us this sign of your approval is all that we ask. Amen."

Workday Briefs for an Unbrief Workday! Dancougar News!

Watanabe Shoulders Blame: After spending the better part of the week being praised for his outstanding performances in the Cafundeu first division and in World Cup qualifiers, Yuji Watanabe laid an egg in last night's 5-3 turkey shoot against Zwangzug. Watanabe made seven saves in the loss. While many are saying that the match was one of the most spirited and entertaining of the first round, it's no consolation for Watanabe, who took full blame for the defeat.

"I made a lot of stupid mistakes, a lot of bad judgments," he said after the game. "I gave up too many second chances. In no way can I call that my best effort." Watanabe also dismissed notions that his defenders might be partially to blame. "Zwangzug have a lot of very talented forwards, and midfielders. No matter how good the defense is, there are going to be shots. And I let too many of them in."

DuPont Calls Vephrall a "Must-Win": Dancougar and Squornshelous sit second and third in the table, respectively, after yesterday's action. Both are on three points, but Dancougar has the head-to-head tiebreaker. Tonight's game against Vephrall, which has lost both of its matches, is being pegged by Charles DuPont as a game that the team have to win. "Our goal is clear, and we're in control of our destiny right now," he said before practice today. "If we win, we're in. Simple as that. Anything else and we leave the door open."

It's actually not that simple, as there is a distinct possibility that Dancougar can wind up in a three way tie at the top of the table, above Vephrall, or a three way tie at the bottom under Zwangzug. In both cases, their goal differential puts them in a precarious position. When told of his error, DuPont just shrugged. "Nothing begins without a win," he said.

Vephrall find themselves in the same situation Dancougar were in World Cup 40. A win for Vephrall could potentially put them in a three-way points tie depending on the outcome of Squornshelous vs. Zwangzug, which could see multiple layers of tiebreakers applied. All teams are still alive for the second round. "We all know the consequences of these games," said DuPont. "We do, Vephrall does... everyone's going for the full three points. It'll be an exciting last day, but a serious one as well."

Vephrall and Dancougar met twice during World Cup 39 qualifiers, and Dancougar were thrashed in both. The newcomers fared better in a World Cup 40 friendly against the Vephrall under-21s, with Dancougar's college all-stars winning 4-0. This will be the most even matchup between the two, with both senior sides ranked in the twenties.

Students Plan Pep Rally: Earlier this month, college teams came to Ad'ihan to compete in the first international tournament for university sides. Vephrall's University of Riestre won the three-team tournament, while Dancougar's University of Gilderome came in right behind them. The meeting between the two resulted in a 2-1 win for Riestre, and Gilderome students are using it as fuel for their World Cup rally.

"We'll consider it even if we win tonight," said rally organizer Gary Baker. "It means a lot to get into the second round, and we're going to have a few thousand people who share that opinion."

The rally will take place at the university's stadium until half an hour before kickoff. This will give attendees time to find a television screen, as university officials denied the organizers a permit to show the game in the stadium on widescreen projectors. "While we recognize that this is a big occasion for football fans, the summer staff is not equipped to handle this kind of event," said university president Uri Chalmers.

Ikeda Praises Zwangzug Tactics: Zwangzug's unique 3-5-3 formation, which does not use a goalkeeper, has drawn praise from Hideo Ikeda for its mental effects as well as its strategic impact. "When you see an open goal like that, you think, 'Oh, I may as well take a crack,'" said Ikeda. "And so it leads to guys taking shots when they really shouldn't."

Dancougar's slow second half start saw many players taking long shots at goal that went hopelessly wide. The Zwangzug defense also had enough time to surround the ball and close down space, making it difficult to find open players who could attack the goal. "The extra field player makes a surprising difference," Ikeda continued. "I thought we could have done better, but all credit to them - they executed their gameplan perfectly."

Mystic forces at work as Tynelia destroy Kura-Pelland 4-0. No shock really, they were superb and Kura-Pelland looked drained after their match with Demot. Quakmybush surprisingly beat Demot, meaning that it's a straight shootout for the last sixteen with Kura-Pelland needing to beat Quakmybush. It's the first time Kura-Pelland have had a meaningful final group match at a World Cup, and goalkeeper Stephen Hill reckons some ghosts can be laid to rest.

'We actually feel like we belong now,' he said. 'I've never had pressure like this but I want to prove I can thrive on it.'

"A real Krytie bastard, this Octavius fella," the Sergeant said, "by all accounts he's ready to burn everything that isn't painted cyan. In fact," the grizzled veteran said, "you know they're all Krytie bastards."

"That is how the song goes," the Lieutenant said with a lazy look out across the tranquil seas. Where they were heading was anything but, and the Sergeant hadn't got the joke.

"You're probably right, Sir," the Sergeant replied, following his superior's gaze over the Bekk's crystal blue waters. Their police units were being ordered across Atlantian Oceania's largest lake from Starblaydia to West Starblaydia - formerly Krytenia, but now under the Starblaydi eagle since their President for Life, Dominique Starblayde (née Domasca) married Starblaydia's Lrod-Protector, Tiberius Starblayde.

The ferries were the best way of shifting a large number of non-military personnel from east to west - planes may have been faster, but to carry all the equipment, vehicles and so forth, the cross-lake ferry had been chosen.

"The Legalites didn't complain," the Lieutenant mused, a veteran of the police action in the neighbouring nation of Legalese when their government collapsed. Starblaydia had even handed the country back when the nation had developed it's own government once again. The fact Starblaydia had invaded later on as a way to get to The Lowland Clans was another matter.

"The Aquilianans didn't complain," he continued, "and the Nemyans certainly didn't complain. But these Krytenians..."

"Bastards." His Sergeant concluded. Storm clouds were gathering in the West. Perhaps they'd dampen down the flames.

Tuesday, 1:37pm

Felix Octavius, leader of the Krytenian rebel movement, had been waiting for this moment for three long years. Finally, now, he had the chance to right what had gone wrong. He stepped up to the balcony atop the roof of the ransacked Presidential Palace, put the loudhailer to his mouth, and addressed the crowd below.

"People of this land, we pronounce ourselves free from tyranny! We pronounce ourselves fre from opression! We pronounce ourselves free from the iron handbag of the usurper of liberty, Dominique Starblayde! We pronounce ourselves a free and sovereign nation! WE ARE KRYTENIA!"

A rousing chant of "Kry-Ten-Ya" spread throughout the throng in Capital Square. The people had spoken, and for the second time, the revolution had handed the nation back to the people.

**********
Tuesday, 3:49pm

"AAAAAAAAARGH!" screamed Dominique Starblayde from her base of operations in the bowels of Jhanna's grand Praetoran Palace. "Octavius, you sanctimonious BASTARD!"

"Come on babe," said her husband, who had rushed into the room at the sound of the scream, "let it go. It's over."

**********

Tuesday, 6:06pm

The Starblaydi ferry pulled into the harbour at Stanton. The Sargeant emerged from the craft, and was surprised to see an armed man greeting him.

"You're too late, turn around and go home."

The sargeant loked confused. "It's not too late, as long as the Starblaydi eagle flies here!"

The armed man pointed to the Krytenian flag hoisted at the other end of the harbour. "It's too late for you, we've taken it all back. Go home to your families, we have no quarrel with you."

IT'S....

THE WORLD CUP SHOW

With Basil and Theo

(80 minutes into the Yafor 2 / Empire match)

"...'Cheese! Cheese!' She cried, which was why the gigolo shook hands with the leper."

"Hilarious, Basil, but it's time to return to this engrossing encounter between the Imperial blancmanges and the Golden Wolves of Yafor 2 - because with only ten minutes left, the blancmanges are holding the Wolves to a 0-0 draw, with the Yaforites' staunch defending style holding the blancmanges at bay. I wish I could say that this has been a free-flowing, exciting match of attacking football, with each pulsating attack from the Yaforites being matched by some extraordinary counter-attacking from the blancmanges. But frankly, it's been a bit crap."

"And you're probably not the only person suffering from commentary deja vu, Theo, because for the second match in a row the blancmanges have been on their best behaviour, this time not just prompted by the sight of the local authorities armed with waterguns, prepared to dissolve the first blancmange to eat one of their opponents, but from the Yaforite blancmange repellent that the opponents are all wearing - an innovation said to have been personally developed by Prince Sebard himself."

"He's not just a thrilling footballer, Basil - he's willing to take almost any step in pursuit if the World Cup title that's eluded him so far. And in a situation eerily similar to our last match, there are only 8 more minutes to hold out now for one of the most boring draws ever to disgrace the World Cup... and... and... suddenly we're seeing only the second Yaforite attack of the match. And... OH NO... Our number three brings down Sebard just inside the area. And... yes... it's a red card! He was the last man! The referee rightly pulls out the red... and it's only with the greatest of difficulty that the number four is restrained from eating the man in black through the judicious use of the Yaforite blancmange repellent."

"Almost a nasty situation there, Theo."

"Sebard himself steps up to take the penalty that will give the Yaforites the victory that the scarcely deserve, and.... HE SCORES! 1-0 to Yafor 2."

"And in a repeat of the last match, it looks like the squad have started eating all the match balls, Theo. Looks like no one told them that they should only resort to that tactic when the goalkeeper actually saves the dramatic penalty in the last 10 minutes in order to salvage the draw. They think they should be eating the match balls anyway."

"You're quite right, Basil. It's an absolute fiasco. It looks like Tzimisces is arguing with the referee, because... yes... the referee has called the last six minutes of the match off due to lack of match balls, despite the hosts' attempts to supply more balls than the last match. Di Bradini looks like he's hanging his head in shame at being involved in this farce. That makes this one of the strangest endings of an Imperial world cup finals match ever. Even stranger than the last match, because in all my years of commentry - going back to World Cup 1 - I've never seen a match called off in the dying minutes because the losing team of giant sentient blancmanges have eaten every match ball in the ground, thereby guaranteeing their opponents pick up the three points."

"The single stupidest strategy I've ever seen, Theo, bar none. The squad now have to beat Kelssek by a couple of goals and hope that the SLANI or the Wolves win - because otherwise someone will be making pudding out of this squad, let me tell you."

The traveller wrapped his cloak around his head, desperately trying to keep the rain off. His feet stumbled through the mud as he battled against the unholy wind that sought to batter him into submission. The trees scratched and pawed at the black sky in defiance as the storm reached its epic heights. The traveller could only see the dark and hear the wind and the water as he sought the village. But somewhere in the background was an odd sound, almost a choir of voices.

He did not dare to stop to see. There were no temples on the Blasted Heath.

Suddenly his eyes detected the faintest of glows in the distance. Stoneham! He had made it across the Heath. Soon there would be shelter.

***

“You look like you have travelled a distance, friend,” said the landlord of the Golden Crown. “Have some broth. On the house.”

“Thank you.”

The traveller shut out the noise of the tavern as the entire village seemed to be present, talking, shouting, laughing, whispering. He supped at the broth like it was the purest nectar. “Bit windy out there, you see...”

“We do see, friend...that's why we're all in here. Strongest building, you see. Lucky you came in when you did, we're battening down the hatches here.”

“Yes...I take it there's no beds for the night then?”

The jovial host laughed uproariously. “Beds! You should be so lucky, friend. No, Mirella will get the straw down and we shall all spend the night here. Odo and his crew will guard the door. Just in case, like.”

“Guard the door?”

“Yes, nothing to be afraid of. It's just that...well...”

“Well what?”

“I'd best not say anything, friend. There's a seat in the corner, if you don't mind Old Fletch.”

“No, that will be fine.”

“So what will it be?”

“Oh, er, a tankard of beer and a shank of lamb, if you have it.”

“Certainly. A gold piece to you, friend.”

The traveller retrieved a gold piece from his moneybag. “Here...I'll sit over there. Fletch, was it?”

“Aye. He's an old sort. One for a yarn. But friendly.”

****

“And that's when I killed Marras the Giant with my own bare hands...”

“Really...”

“Oh yes...these young uns don't know what it's all about.”

One of the young uns heard Old Fletch and laughed. “Give over, Fletch...you never killed anyone...”

“What do YOU know, you young whippersnapper? I've killed more beasties than you've had hot dinners...”

“Don't be daft...you'll scare our friend there...”

“Well, Saff, let me tell you something. You remember the Keening?”

At this Saff turned silent.

“Ah, not so boastful now, are we, Saff?”

“Come on, Fletch. You know that's a myth. A legend from the past.”

Fletch shook his head sadly. “If only, young Saff...you're too young to remember...and why do you think we're all here?”

Saff swallowed.

The traveller was intrigued. “The Keening?”

“Yes...it was a night like this...I was a young un then, indeed I was one of the guards. Stoneham had a thousand people. A proper little town, it were. Then the Keening came.

“Most of us were in here. These voices came through the door, through the windows...horrible, dreadful voices...giving us all terrible news...moaning, howling, destroying our brains...”

The traveller swallowed. “What happened?”

“Some of the men ran outside into a whirlwind. Never seen again...”

The traveller had gone a deathly pale. Old Fletch didn't notice.

“But the rest of us...well, the voices came back, foreboding dread and ill...it was devastating...some went mad...some fell on their swords, it was the only way to get away from the noise...”

The entire tavern had fallen silent now and was listening to Old Fletch.

“There wasn’t anything we could do to stop it...other than swipe at the air with our swords...in the end I managed to draw blood from the air, and so did Bothro, and the voices escaped, swearing vengeance...but to this day we have not heard them since.

“This is why, on stormy nights, we all band together, in case the Keening returns.”

The traveller noticed the entire tavern watching.

He took a deep breath and started to speak.

“I think it might be back...”

The tavern let out a collective grasp.

“As I was coming over the heath, I heard these echoing voices, I wasn’t sure what they were...but...”

“Odo, LOOK OUT!! DRAW YOUR SWORD!!!”

Suddenly there was a rush of wind, through the chimney, a moan and a groan. The population of Stoneham shrieked as one as the piercing voice cut through the room.

“Hear...ussssss...”

“NO!!! BEGONE!!!!!!!!!”

“HEEAAARRR USSSSSS...”

“It’s no use!! Get them!!”

It was too late for Saff. He had gone, hurtling out of the tavern. Beld and Grimwire were screaming in sheer terror and pain. Veldigard was slashing at the air fruitlessly.

“WE HAVE COME FOR OUR VENGEANCE...”

“Don’t listen! They’re going to try to destroy our minds!!!”

“LISTEN...THIS IS THE TRUTH...”

“DON’T LISTEN TO THEM!!!”

“WENTLAND THREE...SEL APPA ONE...”

“NO!!! NO!!!!!!!!! IT’S LIES!!!! ALL LIES!!!!! WENTLAND CAN NEVER BEAT SEL APPA!!!!”

“THE TRUTHHHH!!!!! IT HURTSSSSSSS!!!!!!”

“NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LEAVE US BE!!!!!!!!!!”

“WE HAVE OUR VENGEANCE!!!!!! YOU ARE ALL DOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!”

*On an airplane on the way to Adihan*

*Funeral March plays on the loudspeakers*

"Oh no this can't be good"

"You took the words right out of my mouth"

"Hello this is your captain speaking. I'm sure many of you know the old joke about the airplane and Kaddish well this is good time to start reciting Kaddish because -

"Uh oh"

"Shutup!"

"Milchama just lost 1-0 to Qazox"

"Few!"

"Thank heaven. You should never do that on an airplane"

"I agree"

"That could be really worse. Those types of things are just awful"

"Ok enough of that what do you think happened"

"I have no idea. I'm as clueless as you are."

"Ok well let's wait to get off the plane"

"Wait a second!"

"What?"

"You never said you bought tickets where we would be flying DURING THE GAME! You idiot! You know better than that we missed a whole match and we now know the score"

"It'll be alright don't worry we'll all float on alright"

"We might float on but it's never going to be the same"

"Do you really want to see that game?"

"Good point"

"So then what happened"

"We'll just have to see at the airport"

*In the airport*

"That goddamn banana!"

"Yeh how could you not get a clearance from that far out?"

"It's lucky we only conceded once though I must admit"

"Yeh with them having 47 shots and 22 on net we were lucky to only give up one"

"What happened with our offense?"

"We didn't have a midfield, literally"

"Good point"

"The subs at halftime?"

"Markin didn't make any but he did make two because of injury"

"Well that was good but wait! what?! he didn't make any non-forced subs? WHAT IS HE THINKING?"

"It's probably the witch doctor. We need to get her BAD!"

"Alright no more dilly dallying let's go!"

Should Have Been Four
Starblaydi run against Ad'ihan comes to an end

Twice before Starblaydia have met Ad'ihan and twice before Starblaydia have won, having scored four goals. First in a friendly match in the aftermath of World Cup 40's Qualifying and then in the 9th Place Play-Off of the 6th Oxen Cup - Ad'ihan losing by three and two goals respectively.

In the 41st World Cup, however, that string was broken as Starblaydia both failed to win and failed to score three goals. Ad'ihan's trend of scoring one extra goal per game continued, however, as they put three past Starblaydia's defence, with Starblaydia managing three in return for an exciting draw at a sold-out Protectorate Stadium.

Ad'ihan opened the scoring, as concerted pressure allowed George Connor to find some space in the box and shoot the ball past Kostas Nikolaidis. The purple (green?) and whites were only ahead for a couple of minutes, however, as Lubii made herself the spearhead of the Starblaydi attack and scored with their first real effort on goal, drilling the ball in hard and low beyond the dive of Kawn. Again, though, Ad'ihan took the lead, this time from Jake Holmes as he took control of a poor clearance from Carlito Di Bradini and put a powerful rising shot high into the net. Starblaydia again had to pull it back from out of the fire but a scintillating solo run from Jaime Kuu evened things up as he burst down the left hand flank, cutting inside and beating players left and right with consummate ease. He broke into the box and fired across the face of goal, with the ball just rolling inside the post. Starblaydia's celebrations were extravagant to say the least.

Eventually, somehow, Starblaydia took the lead for Three-Two through an unlikely source: thirty-one year old right full back Jae Chang-hwa. Starblaydia had begun to win the ball in midfield a little easier as Wen Tze-shu had come on for Fenny Bentley, providing Starblaydia with a solid, flat-four across the middle as Batou Nakamura went out wide on the right. Tze-Shu and Stafador's solidity allowed the full backs to press on and it was from this that Starblaydia scored. Jae picked the ball up around twenty-five to thirty yards from goal, looked up and struck the most brilliant shot of her career. Perfectly hit, it bent away from the goalkeeper as it flew through the air and smashed in perfectly into the top right hand corner of the net. It was something she's never done before and her 'celebration' was simply to gasp wide-eyed in disbelief, putting her hand across her mouth as she was mobbed by her teammates. The reverie wasn't to last, however as Starblaydia conceded what turned out to be a scrappy equaliser, with a lack of concentration compounding a concerted Ad'ihani effort to level the match again.

Wednesday, 9:29am

The television flicked into life. Felix Octavius appeared on the screen.

"Good morning, people of Krytenia. You wake up today to a reborn nation, and a new, if interim, ruling body. Our goal now is to restore the broken infrastructure of this grand nation. This is a call to tools. Those with skills, those who can work to restore our country's battered buildings and tattered roads, please come forward and do your bit.

In due course, I shall call the Lord-Protector of Starblaydia, and discuss the terms of continued relations with our eastern neighbours. We must remember, our truck is not witrh Starblaydia or the Starblaydi people, but the heartless, ruthless woman who Tiberius Starblayde has the poor fortune to call a wife.

Together, we shall make Krytenia great again."

**********
Thursday, 4:58pm (Ad'ihan local time)

"Gentlemen, JMC haven't been able to rush over the new kits in time for this afternoon's game, so we'll have to make do with these."

Adam Toivonen gave his squad memberes a tatty old sky blue jersey each. He then gave the goalkeepers some black gaffer-tape, and instructed them to cover the Ediraf and West Starblaydi logos.

"This afternoon, we play Starblaydia. At stake is the pride of our nation, and a place in the last sixteen. Your mission is to go out there - and kick some serious arse. And you'll do it for Krytenia. Are you WITH ME?"

"YES, GAFFER!" came the unanimous reply of the twenty-three man squad.

Daily Mail - Page 9

Missing Persons:

Frank Marland. Male, 56, 6 feet 2 inches, medium build. Black hair, blue eyes. Last seen in Fort Boston, FB.
Ellie Kayline. Female, 13, 5 feet 9 inches, medium build. Brown hair, green eyes. Last seen in Olisfeld, MN.
Dawn Green. Female, 27, 5 feet 7 inches, light build. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Last seen in Levrittfield, JA.

The Emperor threw the newspaper down on his desk, and stared at the headline on The Guardian from the day before. “Key Activist Kidnapped” it screamed at him and anyone else who would come across it. The meeting he was in with Prime Minister Alan Sentor suddenly fell quiet.

“There a problem, Emperor?” Alan dared ask.

“Is this what it's become?” The Emperor replied.

“Pardon?”

“The Guardian, for all it's wrongs, is reporting on a story of a girl being kidnapped and being put through god only knows what, and gives a full description of where she was, what she was doing. The Daily Mail, meanwhile, and don't get me wrong, I love it, gives a measly line about it at the bottom of the page.”

“She's a leftie! Why should the Daily Mail give it coverage?”

The propaganda machine set up by the man sitting opposite Alan had worked it's wonders. It had been said before and it would be said again, the current generation of Bostopians who ran the country were well and truly indoctrinated.

“Alan, you don't understand. Behind the words and the politics is a bloody human being!” The Emperor slammed his hand on the desk, immediately regretting it.

Sentor was stunned.

“Emperor..?”

“Alan, let's put it this way. A Bostopian subject is currently kidnapped. What do we know? The PSJ (Party for Social Justice) is telling the police nothing. Hence, the police can't tell intelligence anything. Hence, we know absolutely bloody nothing apart from the fact a few people heard a bit of a struggle in the street and a car driving off. Oh, we know what she looks like. But kidnap victims don't normally get walked about on the street to go shopping, or for a breath of fresh air do they?”

The Emperor stopped and waited for a reaction off Sentor.

Nothing came.

“Now, why isn't the PSJ saying owt? Because they know that if they reveal anything, the police will likely swoop as soon as she's out, probably using information the kidnappers got out of her, and arrest members of a banned party.”

“Come on, Emperor, it's a banned party, they shouldn't be organising these sort of things in the first place!”

“So she got what was coming to her because of what she thought and said?”

“Yes!”

“So on that logic, she's as bad as a paedophile for doing the action of downloading pictures of kids off the internet?”

“Well, no, bu -”

“But nothing, Alan! We're policing people's thoughts! We're policing what they say! Christ, it's acceptable in some cases, but saying something like 'the poor in the country are not being looked after well enough' is nowhere near the same magnitude as 'we implore you to make armed rebellion against the Bostopian Government'!”

“What are you getting at?”

The Emperor stood up and turned to face the window behind him, smiling at the skyline of Fort Boston and the city stretching out into the distance. From the skyscrapers to the stadiums, the parks to the Parliament, the houses and the hotels, a lot of them had flourished under this system. What would change?

“Alan, I've made some wrong decisions during my time. Were they a good idea at the time? Probably, but then jumping down a set of stairs just because someone else was too wimpy to when I was 16 seemed like a good idea. Do you know what happened?”

“I've never heard of that story.”

“Thought not. After the wave of adrenaline passed, the pain set in. I felt dizzy, my vision began to become blurry, then black and white. I apparently turned green. The limping about for the next few weeks a bit hindered taught me a lesson.”

“Don't do that again?”

“Well, yes. But also that what seems like a good idea at the time isn't always the best option in the long run, Alan. And now we have a girl kidnapped who we have as good as zero intel on because of what she thinks and believes.”

“Legalise the PSJ?”

“And the rest of them.”

Sentor was stunned.

“What exactly are you advocating?”

“That I renounce absolute monarchy and we get the country in working order, not limping around because of 'thought-crime'.”

“Emperor, what'll it achieve? It'll change everything!”

“What it will achieve is that people won't be afraid because of what they think! What will it change, Alan, is nothing. Maybe a few BNP members lose their seats here and there, but who will have the majority? The BNP. You'll still be in charge, Alan, and we both know that's what you've always wanted, and what you had when I went on a brief vacation.”

“I can't deny that.”

“Exactly. For the next two years, expect this country to be making a transition. At the end of those two years, free elections will be held at all levels.”

“Including Castle and Park?”

“It's free and fair here, Alan. I'll still be in power here unless the Boundaries Commission think a change is necessary.”

“Are you sure about this, Emperor?”

“More sure than I ever have been. For my subjects to prosper and be free, I must let them be.”

[QUOTE=Daehanjeiguk;13805315]World Cup 41 Group A
MD1: Sel Appa 2-1 Daehanjeiguk (@ Gwangju)
MD2: Bazalonia 2-1 Daehanjeiguk (@ Hanseong)
MD3: Daehanjeiguk --- Wentland (@ Hangyeong)

Tripped!
with Mr. Pak

*Mr. Pak is out on a hiking trip and is therefore unavailable for writing his column*

World Cup Today
with Mr. Gang

With a loss to Bazalonia today, the Han have no more hope to continue in the tournament. Joined by Demot (the highest seed thusfar to have failed progression), the Han will be looking to salvage some pride against Wentland's charges. Ioshido Toki will also be under some pressure at home, blamed because "he isn't Han" for the misfortune that had beset the Imperial Team. In the past 7 meetings (excluding the phenomenal progress of the U21 team, who remain undefeated in their last 8 meetings, including a win over the visiting Karayid team in the ceremonial final match in OFC5), the Han have failed to produce a win, continuing their losing streak since the WC40 Group Stage. Ioshido's task gets a significant challenge, as he faces Wentland, who have drawn against Bazalonia and beat Sel Appa. A tall challenge indeed. We'll see if Ioshido stays with the team.

In Group B, yet another scandal as the blancmanges managed yet again to eat all of the match balls, incidentally capping the score at 1-0 in favor of Yafor 2. The result has left IFA officials baffled at what to do, whereupon some ingenious lackey decided to issue an edict, declaring that blancmanges cannot play football while outside a large 60 liter zipping plastic baggy. IFA officials have already sent The Holy Empire a sample of 40 bags in which they will find some way to protect their deserts from the elements. To ensure fair play, the match ball is set to be laced with a compound that effectively dissolved blancmanges. Unfortunately, it also will dissolve humans, so to protect players on the pitch, the IFA is giving Kelssek their own variety of plastic baggies. Why not body suits? "Because they're too revealing" remarked one official. Speaking of Kelssek, the SLANI slanied Kelssek today, with a typical 2-0 win. After being held on a 1-1 draw (because of the ball eating events), the SLANIs were eager to get on a winning foot. The result puts the SLANIs on top of the Group on GD, but the negative press reaction to the match call has left a few people wondering if the SLANIs are the right team to progress to the Second Round. "Obviously, if they get annoyed that they weren't able to finish all 90 minutes against a bunch of wobbly pieces of burd, they aren't fit to play in the World Cup at all," remarked one person, presumably from the Empire (but she did speak horribly, so maybe not?).

On to Group C, where Tynelia returned Kura-Pelland's favor, slapping them straight with a 4-0 win, while Quakmybush killed off Demot with a 2-0 win. It was more or less a brush of reality to all of the sides, as Tynelia continues its awesome form against a mildly impressive KP team. Meanwhile, Demot will have some questions to ask, after failing to win their first two group stage matches and warrant themselves a virtual first round exit. But Tynelia will happy ahead of their match against Demot, who will be looking for a consolation win. Meanwhile, KP and QMB will have to play for a win (or a very lucky draw) to progress to the second round. I'm tentatively rooting for KP, only because they're fellow BoF23 graduates.

And finally, Group D - Bostopia beats Northern Bettia, to hand the Fireants an early, while the Archregimancy pulled out a draw against Az-cz. Az-cz, while not losing, has to improve on their game to progress - nothing short of a win against Northern Bettia will suffice. At the same time, Bostopia will be looking to make good on their Second Round chances with a good win against the Archregimancy, who have yet to boast a credible Second Round appearance (their last one was in WC32). And the rest is history.

Well, the Han are out. But we'll be watching out for the team to win it all.

Health
with Dr. Pu

How to avoid allergies:

Live in a bubble - the number one sure way to get rid of the sneezing and sniffling. Unfortunately, carries the side effect of virtual isolation from the rest of humanity. Patients tend to become insane and die from dyslexia.

Kill everything that causes allergies - unfortunately, an impossible feat, since literally anything can cause allergies, and allergies to anything can pop up at any time. Heavens! You can even become allergic to yourself (otherwise known as autoimmune diseases...)!

Get rid of your immune system - the culprit for allergies, you can erase your bodies capability to give you an allergic reaction without having to live in a bubble. Unfortunately, it also carries the significant risk of advantageous diseases, so you'd probably end up in a bubble anyway, dying from dyslexia.

Take a bunch of antihistamines - the culprit of the immune response that triggers allergies! Unfortunately, most of them make you drowsy. Side effects can include dryness of mouth, headaches, sinus infection, nausea, dyslexia, impaired driving ability, slurring of speech, erectile dysfunction, heartache, liver degeneration, and the occasionally rare impulse to jump off a cliff. I'd strongly suggest taking antihistamines only if you're in top form (and see my column on prime exercises to maximize your health benefits)!

Be in a perpetual state of sneezing and sniffling - the counterpoint to avoiding getting allergies is to already have allergies. The principle side effect is, of course, the sneezing, the sniffling, and the thousand pieces of tissue all over the floor, with the occasional breakout of hives.

In all honesty, you can't avoid allergies. But you can hope that you're one of the few people who never develop them.

QSPN Soccernet.com

ADVANCEMENT SCENARIOS
(Please note there could be other scenarios, but these are the most likely ones)

GROUP A:
Wentland: Clinches group with a win over Deahanjeiguk and either a Bazalonia loss or draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw or a Bazalonia loss. Can clinch group title with a win and a Bazalonia win, if Wentland has a better GD or if both matches end in a draw. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a loss and a Bazalonia loss by the same number of goals or if Bazalonia loses by more goals, or by GS if tied on GD.

Bazalonia: Clinches group with a win over Sel Appa and either a Wentland loss or draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw or a Wentland loss. Can clinch group title with a win and a Wentland win, if Bazalonia has a better GD. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a loss and a Wentland loss, if Wentland loses by 2 more goals than Bazalonia loses by, or if Bazalonia has a better GS if tied on GD.

Sel Appa: Clinches group title with a win and a Wentland draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a win.

GROUP B:
Capitalizt SLANI and Yafor 2 can each clinch 2nd round berths with a draw vs. each other. The Holy Empire and Kelssek cannot clinch group title.

Capitalizt SLANI will clinch group with win or draw vs. Yafor 2. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a loss and either a Kelssek-The Holy Empire draw or if Kelssek wins.

Yafor 2: Clinches group with a WIN ONLY. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a loss and either a Kelssek-The Holy Empire draw or if The Holy Empire wins.

The Holy Empire: Clinches 2nd round berth with a win over Kelssek and if Yafor 2 beats SLANI by at least 2 goals.

Kelssek: Clinches 2nd round berth with a win over The Holy Empire and if SLANI beats Yafor 2 by at least 2 goals.

GROUP C:
Tynelia: Clinches group with win over Demot and any of the following: A Quakmybush loss, draw or awin by 2 or fewer goals than Tynelia wins by. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw or a Quakmybush loss. Can clinch group title with a draw and a Quakmybush draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a Quakmybush win or draw.

Quakmybush: Clinches group with win over Kura-Pelland and a Tynelai loss or draw or if Quakmybush wins by 3 or more goals than Tynelia wins by. Clicnhes 2nd round berth with a draw or Tynelia loss.

Kura-Pelland: Clinches group with a win and a Tynelia draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a win.

GROUP D:
Bostopia: Clinches group with win vs. The Archregimancy. Clinches 2nd round berth with an Az-cz loss or draw. Can clinch group title with a draw vs. The Archregimancy and an Az-cz win by fewer than 3 goals.

The Archregimancy: Clinches group with win vs. Bostopia. Clinches 2nd round berth with an Az-cz loss or draw. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a draw vs. Bostopia and an Az-cz win by fewer than 2 goals.

Az-cz: Clinches group title with a win vs. N. Bettia by 4 or more goals and the Bostopia-The Archregimancy match ends in a draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a win and if the Bostopia-The Archregimancy match does not end in a draw.

GROUP E: (the tough one)
Starblaydia: Clinches group with a win or draw vs. W. Starblaydia and if the Ad'ihan-Casari match ends in a draw, providing Starblaydia scores more goals in the draw than Ad'ihan or Casari does. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw vs. W. Starblaydia. Can also clinch the group with a win over W. Starblaydia and if the Ad'ihan-Casari match does not end in a draw; and Starblaydia wins by more goals than either Ad'ihan or Casari does.

Ad'ihan: Clinches group with a win or draw vs. Casari and if the W. Starblaydia-Starblaydia match ends in a draw, and Ad'ihan scores more goals than either W. Starblaydia or Starblaydia does. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw vs. Casari. Can also clinch the group with a win over Casari and if the W. Starblaydia-Starblaydia match does not end in a draw; and Ad'ihan wins by more goals than either W. Starblaydia or Starblaydia does.

Casari: Clinches group with a win vs. Ad'ihan and the W. Starblaydia-Starblaydia match ends in a draw. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win or a draw, provided Casari has a better GS than Starblaydia or W. Starblaydia.

W. Starblaydia: Clinches group with a win vs. Starblaydia and the Ad'ihan-Casari match ends in a draw. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win or a draw, provided W. Starblaydia has a better GS than Ad'ihan or Casari.

Most likely the two teams with the most Goals Scored will advance out of this group, if both matches end in draws. IF both matches are indentical draws (ie: 0-0 or 1-1), then Ad'ihan and Starblaydia advance on GS, with a to-be-determined tie-breaker would be used to decide the group winner.

GROUP F:
Valanora: Clinches group with either a win over Jeruselem or a draw and either a Cafundeu loss or draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw or a Cafundeu loss or draw. Can clinch the group with a draw and a Cafundeu win by 2 or fewer goals.

Jeruselem: Clinches group with a win over Valanora and either a Cafundeu loss or draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a win.

Cafundeu: Clinches group with a win by 3 or more goals and a Valanora-Jeruselem draw. Clicnhes 2nd round berth with win.

Taeshan: CANNOT WIN GROUP. Clinches 2nd round berth with a win and either a Valanora win or a Valanora-Jeruselem draw.

If both Jeruselem and Cafundeu draw each of thier matches and the scores are identical (ie: 0-0, 1-1); a to-be-determined tie-breaker would be used to decide the advancing team.


GROUP G:
Zwangzug: Clinches group with win or draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with Dancougar loss or draw. Can clinch group with a 1-goal loss to Sqournshelous and a Dancougar win by less than 4 goals over Vephrall.

Dancougar: Clinches group with a win by 4 or more goals and a Sqournshelous win by 2 goals over Zwangzug. Clicnhes 2nd round berth with a draw and either a Squornshelous loss or draw.

Squornshelous: Clinches group with win over Zwangzug and either a Dancougar loss or draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw and a Dancougar loss.

Vephrall: CANNOT WIN GROUP. Clicnhes 2nd round berth with a 2 or more goal win over Dancougar and a Squornshelous loss by 3 or more to Zwangzug.

In the unlikely event that Dancougar, Sqournshleous and Zwangzug finish level on points and GD (for 1st place), a to-be-determined tie-breaker would be used to decide the advancing teams and the group winner.

In the unlikely event that Dancougar, Sqournshelous and Vephrall finish level on points and GD (for 2nd place), a to-be-determined tie-breaker would be used to decide the advancing team.

GROUP H:
Qazox: Clinches group with a win over Jasiyun. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw. Can clinch group with a draw and a Bettia-Milchama draw.

Milchama: Clinches group with a win and a Qazox loss or draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw and a Jasiyun loss or Jasiyun-Qazox draw.

Jasiyun: Clinches group with a win and a Milchama loss or draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with win or a draw and a Milchama loss.

Bettia: CANNOT WIN GROUP. Clinches 2nd round berth with a win over Milchama and a Jasiyun loss.

BBC person: Hello, I'm looking for ... Kara Keeley.
Kara: I'm Kara Kool, there's no Kara Keeley around here.
BBC person: But I was talking to her yesterday.
Kara: What's she look like?

BBC person: Short, redhead, bimbo ... err pink dress ...
Kara: There's several Jeruselem girls like that around here. Anymore clues.
BBC person: She's called Kitty too.
Kara: Oh, you mean Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas!

BBC person: Yes, that's her. I forgot her real name.
Kara: Well, I try to find her ... just stay here.

<Later>

Kara: Here's your Kara Keeley.
Marie: Hey, yeah it's me!
Kara: Why did you use Kara as the first name?
Marie: Because it's a Kool name.

BBC person: She's funny.
Kara: I have to go, Kara's got things to do. See you later Kitty.
Marie: So, what's up?
BBC person: We have your paperwork here, you know all that legal rubbish. OK, just sign this stuff.

Marie: You don't pay a lot ...
BBC person: You might be a Princess but in terms on the acting world, you're starting from the bottom of the pay scale.
Marie: Not that need the money in the first place.
BBC person: Just sign the marked spots.

Marie: Sure, hang on ...

<Marie removes a pen from under her skirt>

BBC person: Strange place to put a pen.
Marie: That's nothing, there's an music player under there too. It's wireless.
BBC person: I see ... never mind. Let's just finish this.
Marie: Sure!

<Marie signs documents>

BBC person: Great, welcome to the BBC.
Marie: I can't wait for my acting debut.
BBC person: well, this will be a good earner for BBC with Jeruselem tuning in for the episode.
Marie: Will this episode have religious themes too?

BBC person: For sure it will. That's why the planet is New Jerusalem.
Marie: I can't believe I got the job.
BBC person: Well, see you in a month.
Marie: Yeah, thanks. Is it OK to bring my mother along?

BBC person: Yes. And good luck with the next game too.
Marie: We really need to win! Or else it's just curtains.
BBC person: You're not playing are you?
Marie: No, I'm not allowed to play. I am quite capable of playing.

BBC person: Who's that redhead girl who looks like you then?
Marie: Kate Sallad, not even related really.
BBC person: Oh well, I have to go. I hope Jeruselem makes the next round.
Marie: Thanks. Hey, you have kids?

BBC person: Two young daughters? Why?
Marie: I've got two Kara Kool dolls here! You can give them to your girls.
BBC person: Oh thanks. What's special about these dolls?
Marie: They can kick small footballs.

BBC person: A football doll ... wow, say ... what's this red button do?
Marie: Oh that! It gives you a Jewish greeting.
BBC person: Well, they'll be thrilled.
Marie: Have them, I've got too many to give out.

The players were making a general commotion. One game in the books, and a win! As far as the Black Knights were concerned, life was good. Stephen and C were going over some scouting reports for the next team when a shadow fell over his clipboard. Stephen looked up and saw Karen standing above him. She was still in her kit, which was drenched in sweat and water. Her breathing was just coming back to normal. "Th-thank you for everything," she said, with a bow.

Stephen held up his hands. "No need to be so formal," he said. "It's just one game. The real test will be how we hold up for the rest of the season."

"I'll do my best," Karen answered. "We're all behind you, coach."

"That's good to hear," Stephen said. Karen went back to celebrate with her team. C let out a long heavy sigh and stretched. Stephen turned to her. "And what's that for?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," she replied. "They all seem so happy that everything you put them through turned into three points. I wonder how happy they'll be after a few losses."

"It won't happen," Stephen answered. "You know full well it won't."

"I~don't~knooooow," sang C, as she got up from the bench. As if on cue, the door was opened, and in walked Russ, Peter, and von Steuben. The locker room slowly fell silent, as the players, many now in states of undress, turned to look at them. Karen had disappeared into a bathroom stall, being the only woman in the room, so she was confused. She got on her tiptoes and was able to just peer over the top of the stall door.

Russ walked over to Stephen, who didn't flinch. He continued reading over the documents as if nothing was wrong. "You're Zero, right?" he asked.

Stephen looked up. "That's me, yes. What can I do for you gentlemen?"

"We're here to ask you some questions," Russ replied, "about tonight's match."

"My my, reporters, already?" Stephen joked. He knew something was up. He recognized Peter from earlier. "Which local paper are you from?"

Russ took out his badge. "Yuki State Athletic Department, Division Six," Russ said. Peter and von Steuben likewise showed their badges. "We want to talk about the goal."

"Miss Stadler, yes, she's an impressive young forward of ours," Stephen replied without missing a beat. "In the top hundred in terms of national high school prospects. Only girl on the list. She starts school in the fall and this is just a little more preparation."

"The defender looked at you and stopped moving," Peter interjected, losing his patience. "We all saw it. You know that he was going to get that ball out of there. But he just gave up on the play for no reason. He handed Stadler that goal."

"What, you think I cheated?!" They turned to see an angry Karen storm out of the stall, half in her game kit and half in her street clothes.

"Not you, him," replied Russ, throwing his thumb Stephen's way. "We think he's been involved in match fixing all over the state."

Stephen rose slowly. He was slightly taller than Russ, and the mask and cape made for an imposing appearance. "That's a heavy accusation," he said slowly. "And if it's true, I'm in a great deal of trouble. But I assure you, I don't know anything about that defender other than what I read before the match, nor have I had any contact with him. You can go ahead and ask him if you want."

"He'd probably just lie and say he doesn't know you, or he doesn't remember the play," Peter replied.

"Are you so sure?" Stephen asked. "Everybody has a price. Everybody squeals eventually. You have been paying attention to what's happening in Cafundeu, yes? What makes you think an amateur football player has a stronger will than a trained assassin?"

The players in the room snickered. But they felt a little nervous. Why wasn't Zero denying the charge more strongly? "We have a strong reason to believe that you're involved in other games, too," Russ said again. "We can go over them at your convenience."

"I've heard no evidence yet, just blind speculation," Stephen said. He smiled under his mask. "Tell me, what have I been up to? I'd really like to know."

"Well... that's..." Russ stammered.

"So then you don't have anything, after all!" Stephen cried, clapping his hands. "Really, then, what are you gentlemen doing interrupting the team like this? I suggest you leave before I lodge a complaint with the government. King Daniel has taken a greater shine to civil rights than his predecessors, and false accusations are just going to smear the good name of the Black Knights."

Now that was the Zero they knew! The players cheered. Karen crossed her arms and stared Peter down. "Yeah, if you've got a case, tell it here to all of us, instead of just blowing wind in our faces!" she challenged. "Where's the proof?"

Von Steuben placed a hand on each boys' shoulder. "Zat ees enough for now," he said. "Vee vill be on contect, Meester Zeero."

"Indeed we shall..." Stephen answered. Hmm, it seems like they've noticed all the oddities going on in this area... no surprise. I haven't strayed far from home with my power, so the concentration drew them to the area. And I bet the exhibition we played before this game really tipped them off. And yet I don't feel the least bit worried. No, they can't prove a thing, because they can't possibly know about my Geass!!

SAYINGS OF THE DESERT FATHERS

On discretion

Following the Archregimancy's dramatic 1-1 draw with Az-cz, where Moses' headed goal off a corner in the second minute of injury time against the soulless naked dwarves salvaged a point for the monks, Postumianus told the assembled press corps, "The cowl we wear is the symbol of our footballing innocence, the scapular which covers neck and shoulders is the symbol of courage. We play each match in the virtues symbolised by our habit. If we do everything sincerely in our match against Bostopia, we cannot fail."

When asked by a reporter from Bostopia whether he was satisfied with the draw against Az-cz, Anthony replied, "One man eats a lot and is still hungry. Another eats a little and has had enough. The man who eats a lot and is still hungry has more merit than the man who eats the little that satisfies him. So it is with football." The Bostopian reporter was amazed at Anthony's wisdom.

When asked about reports from the host nation that characterised the Archregimancy's press conferences as 'cryptic', Poeman said "If our inner self behaves soberly, it can control the outer self: but if the inner self does not do this, what other means is there of controlling the tongue?" Poeman then watched a seagull follow a Daehanjeiguk trawler as many sat there baffled at his words.

Evagrius was overheard saying to Arsenius before the Bostopia match, "How is it that we educated and learned men are not very good at football, and these Bostopians - who are not even Orthodox - are really much better than us?" Arsenius answered, "We are relatively poor at football because we go chasing worldly knowledge through prayer and fasting. These Bostopians have reached their level of skill through hard work."

Univ. of Riestre band to perform national anthem at Dancougar World Cup match

AD'IHAN -- The Vephraller Foutbiller Restritris and Collegiate Sporting Alliance jointly confirmed in a press conference late this morning that the national anthem of Vephrall will be performed prior to the start of the upcoming World Cup group stage match against Dancougar by the University of Riestre band. The Riestre Bulls won the inaugural International University Challenge Championship here in Ad'ihan, where they faced local opponents Hatton College of Medicine and the University of Gilderome, the Dancougaran national champions.

"We're looking for ways to get into [Dancougar's] psyche," said national team manager Parker Law. "So we're going to remind them about how our college kids beat their college kids, returning the favor for that friendly." Law refers to a friendly match in September 1755 between the Dancougar national team, then composed entirely of college athletes, and an all-under-21 Vephrese selection (Vephrall does not have an "official" U21 team).

This reporter then asked Law whether that might only serve to inspire Dancougar to take revenge as well for those two World Cup 39 qualifying losses to us back in 1752. This reporter was then asked to leave the press conference.

Vephrall not eliminated yet, despite popular belief

Though many fans initially believed that Vephrall had been officially eliminated from contention for progression to the second round of the World Cup, analysis shows that there does still exist a scenario by which we can advance. This requires that both Vephrall and Zwangzug win their final group stage matches by a combined margin of at least four goals. A combined margin of five goals would send Vephrall through outright, while four goals would result in a deeper series of tiebreakers being needed. This is all made possible thanks to the glory of the three-way head-to-head tiebreaker: Vephrall over Dancougar, Dancougar over Squornshelous, Squornshelous over Vephrall.

Dancougar Pregame Notes

Wings Unfazed by Vephrall Band: Vephrall's earlier press release that the international college champion University of Riestre band would perform their national anthem has been dismissed by coach Charles DuPont as a mental factor in tonight's game. "We've got no players on the team from Gilderome," he said, referring to the Dancougaran champions which Riestre defeated 2-1 in the tournament. "In fact, given the guys they beat to make two consecutive finals, there's probably a few of our players who were rooting for Riestre."

One of them is Evan Weatherford, and alumnus of Pembrooke Academy. It lost to Gilderome on penalties in this year's grand final, the game which determined Dancougar's representative in the international tournament. Said Weatherford, "Good for Riestre; it's a free pass to a big game. This might have worked four years ago, but we're all pros now... I think we can look beyond this charade and just play our game."

Dylandy to Start in Midfield: Looking to increase his team's attacking strength, Chares DuPont has opted for youth over experience and given Lyle Dylandy the start over veteran Boris Boskov. Boskov, primarily a defensive midfielder, gives way to the more flamboyant Dylandy, who prefers to go forward and distribute the ball on the attack. "It's a big deal to get my first World Cup finals start in what's basically an elimination game," said Dylandy, well aware of the team's position in the table. "Vephrall have a very good team, so we need to get forward early and take control."

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 41 COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

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AN AVERAGE RESULT FROM A BAD GAME

http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/1253/imagemfcx5.jpg
Flecha laments wrong pass to him

In the second game of the group stage of World Cup 41, Cafundéu faced Jeruselem, a dangerous team that is battling for one of the top two positions of the group. So, the game between these two teams was crucial for both teams. The Monopolists knew that a loss against Jeruselem could result in the elimination, and the same could be said about the opponents. So, the players were motivated to win the game. But maybe they worried more to not lose, and both teams defended, which resulted in a boring game and the boring goalless draw.

THE FIRST HALF: for the first time in the entire World Cup 41 campaign, Cafundéu played the game with the third dark grey (practically black) shirt, but without the money note design. But the different kit used by Cafundéu wasn’t the only news on the side of the Monopolists. Also, the coach Rivaldo Sodré surprised in choosing Alex to be the new captain of the team, saying that the good performances of the defender awarded him this title, while it should also decrease the responsibility over Flecha. In Jeruselem, no news, as the team was the same, the same dangerous one.

Both teams had offensive abilities, but they didn’t appear much during the first half. Cafundéu had some chances using the ability of the midfielder, which was the main weapon of the team during the whole qualifiers campaign. Augusto César and Moreira really tried to keep the black team offensive, but Sodré’s choice of using two defensive midfielder showed that the team wasn’t so offensive: Silveira and Zé Sho rarely attacked, and the attackers didn’t receive the ball much. In Jeruselem’s side, the same thing happened, they did a good defensive work, but failed to attack well.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (a boring midfield battle that resulted in nothing): “Flak Sho contrrrrrrolling the ball in the midfield for Jerrrrruselem, has a good option with Kate Sallad in the left wing. Nice pass, now Kate trrrrrrries to drrrrrrribble Zé Sho... misses the ball! The Arrrrriddian descendant looks to the attack, Augusto César appearrrrrs as an option, Zé Sho trrrrrries the pass... thrrrrrrrow in! The game seems rrrrrreally slow and borrrrrring rrrrrrright now, nothing interrrrresting happens. And you, arrrrre you borrrrrred? That’s because you don’t have a UltrrrrrrraÓcio videogame, the best on the marrrrrket! Buy it now and have fun!”

http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/5763/imagemgky5.jpg
Joshua Frakes complains with his team mates

THE SECOND HALF: the changes made in both teams for the second half surprised many supporters. Cafundéu put Valtinho in the team, a player more defensive than, for example, Giovanni. Jeruselem’s coach Tunk put Intern in the place of Hyneman, which could clearly be considered a defensive approach. Although no one can be sure that they wanted to defend, the performance of both teams in the second half showed that the effect was that. With fewer attack-minded players, the game was even slower, and some supporters started to complain.

Only after the middle of the second half the coaches started to make changes that could indicate a will to win the game. The entrances of Rubiano and Hislop gave to the supporters the hope of a better game. But that wasn’t enough. Both teams were equal during the game: equally boring. Something that the ones in the stadium weren’t expecting, as both Cafundéu and Jeruselem are known to be countries that play an exciting football. But today this didn’t happen. When the referee whistled the end of the game, some people even seemed relieved. The draw was surely the fairest result.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (end of the game): “Rrrrrrrubiano contrrrrrrrols the ball, still in the midfield. The marrrrrrking of Frrrrrrakes is intense, he has to pass the ball left to Giovanni. Looks at the attack, trrrrrries a long pass dirrrrrrectly to Flecha, battles for the ball against Jacinta Sallad... loses the ball! Sallad clearrrrrrs the danger... and that’s it! End of the game! None of the teams could show a good football today, and the rrrrrresult is a goalless drrrrrraw! Now the qualification will be decided in the last rrrrrround! Prrrrrrroblems with your teeth? Forgot to use toothpaste? Brrrrrrroke a tooth? No prrrrrrroblem! Doctor Gino Millar helps you, an expert dentist!”

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: the result wasn’t a bad one, after all. The draw against Jeruselem still keeps the team close to the qualification for the next round. Now, the team must play better in the game against Taeshan. The coach Rivaldo Sodré said: “Yes, the team didn’t attack well... well, at least we got the draw. A win against Taeshan and we are probably win, so we must remain confident.” Midfielder Zé Sho said: “Jeruselem is an awesome team. We must be proud of this result, although our attack wasn’t in a good day... but theirs wasn’t too.”

http://img74.imageshack.us/img74/8832/imagemeij4.jpg
New captain Alex gives instructions to attacker Rubiano

CAFUNDÉU 0x0 JERUSELEM

Place: Tallyn Ground, in Dalinn.
Attendance: 60,000 people.
Referee: Zet Plomaker (Zwangzug).
MOTM: Kate Sallad (Jeruselem).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Ronaldão, Alex and Gaëif; Silveira (Giovanni 80’), Zé Sho, Augusto César and Moreira (Valtinho 45’); Flecha, Fabrício (Rubiano 71’) and Careca.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png JERUSELEM: Salam; J.Sallad, Kranzoy, F.Dallas and Frakes; S.Kool (Savage 77’), K.Sallad, Hyneman (Intern 45’) and F.Sho; Sloan (Hislop 74’) and K.Kool.
Coach: Abrams Tunk.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Taeshan: Moisés; Luizão, Alex and Gaëif; Silveira, Da Silva, Augusto César and Tobias; Flecha, Fabrício and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +1

Match’s Referee: Hernan Delgado (Candelaria And Marquez).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers (WC Proper):

7- Flecha
5 (1)- Augusto César
3- Fabrício, Moreira
2- Silveira, Alex
1- Da Silva, Rubiano, Valtinho, Marcelo Rocha

Group E-H have been cut off for the last time.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1291/558043465_0e3546fcab.jpg?v=0

Don't click the cat! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13810699&postcount=22)

Well, that's it, then. The qualifying run means nil now that the Wings have folded like a house of cards... a 4-1 loss to Vephrall. They've got our number; the Wings are 0-0-3, 1 goal for and 11 goals ceded when going up against the Vephrall senior team. Dancougar's goal differential is the worst out of the three teams tied at 1-0-2, and to make matters worse, the head to head results all cancel. Squornshelous defeated Vephrall, who defeated Dancougar, who defeated Squornshelous. So it comes down to the goal differential tiebreaker, which Vephrall will win with their commanding victory.

Charles DuPont had little to say at the post-game news conference. "They are who we thought they were!" he said. "They are who we thought they were! And we let 'em off the hook!" Vephrall ran up a 3-0 lead before halftime, and Hideo Ikeda's 75th minute goal can barely be called consolation.

"They were the better team," said Yuji Watanabe, who gave up nine goals in the last two games, after giving up only ten goals in thirteen. "It was a nightmare. I don't know what happened. All I know is that I let everybody down."

Charles DuPont still has one more cup left on his contract, and the pressure will be on after this collapse.

Jeruselem Government News

Kara Kool and Fiskin Dallas retires after loss to Elves

After a valiant loss to 1-2 to Valanora putting Jeruselem out the World Cup 41, Captain Kara Kool announced her retirement. A tearful Kara Kool announced her retirement from international football to the media and said it was time a new person took over for the next cup. Veteran Fiskin Dallas also announced her retirement.

Kate Sallad announced she would contesting for captaincy of the next world cup. However, it is rumoured "Kara Keeley" or Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas might be allowed to play in the next cup.

Coach Abrams Tunk said he would be considering stepping down for a better coach, should the Jeruselem FA decide to find another coach. He admitted
"I don't have right people skills. I can't motivate people like Dazza does. I think I was the wrong person to pick. I think Rocky Pointy Stick is the man for the job for the next cup. He's young and he's really motivated. He's also learnt the right people skills from his Dallas relatives. I have disappointed everyone in Jeruselem. The best thing I can do is to let someone else take over."

On a brighter note, Kara's cousin Sally Kool who was born Qazox seems to have impressed selectors. Young Sally score Jeruselem's only goal against the Elves and played an impressive game. Sally was looking to the future
"Hey, what's the problem! We've got Jacinta Sallad's wedding coming up. It's not the end of the world."

QBC WORLD CUP XLI COVERAGE

"Hello all, I'm Beck Davidham, We here at QBC are here to cover the Qazox-Jasīʼyūn match live from the Tallyn Ground in Dalinn. This will mark the first ever meeting between the two sides. Qazox only needs a draw to advance to the 2nd round for the first time, while a Jasīʼyūn win will basically eliminate the Pheonix. Can history be made or will history repeat itself once again?

The referees are ready, the anthems have been played, and we're ready to go!"

<Match fast Forward>
"Just a few minutes left here in a scoreless first half. With this match and the Bettia-Milchama match going off at the same time, nither side knows what is going on at Great Mets Stadium in Pointe Sud. Jaus takes the throw-in from Reyes, over to Tarricaone, back for Valladores, sees Cruz-Preli wide open, and taken by Daniīlídou, re-taken by Spingler, who finds Jaus, she's through two defenders and...GOOOOOOOAL! Qazox has struck first tonite and leads 1-nil the the oxbells are ringing loudy here in Dalinn. "

<Match fast Forward>
"64th minute here, Qazox still up by a goal, with no word from Pointe Sud. Edna Gordon has it for Jasīʼyūn, finds Liener, back to Gordon and she's taken down by Maria Reyes. Gordon is cluching her leg and is writhing in pain. Reyes has been shown a Red Card! Even I have to agree, Reyes clearly came in with intent to injure Gordon, and now Qazox is a man down with almost 25 minutes left in the game. Felipa Uölfa is coming in for Edna Gordon, who is being taken off the pitch on a stretcher. What a bad turn of events for the Phoenix, as they now have to stave off a possibly furious team now."

<Match fast Forward>
"Getting really late here, still 1-0, as Qazox's defense has held firm over the last 20 minutes or so, despite being a man down. The additions of St. Louis and Smicht, for defensive purposes appears to have paid off for Ryan Greenley, as Jasīʼyūn has been stymied at every oppertunity, even though Jasīʼyūn added Buëglo just about 10 minutes ago to put more offensive pressure forward. Buëglo misplays the pass from Jaŋ Hyūn-sig, and St. Louis has it finds Jaus running through the middle, Jaus sends in a chip towards Jorja Logambina, and GOOOOALLLLLLLLLLLL! The ball took a wierd hop on Logambina, and the keeper just wasn't in the right spot to make the save or deflection and it finds the inside near corner. 2-0 Qazox in the 89th minute and perhaps finally, the Pheonix will get to taste the 2nd round of the World Cup!

<Match Finish>
"THERE IT IS, IT'S OVER, THE STREAK IS OVER! QAZOX, YES, QAZOX HAS ADVANCED TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THE WORLD CUP WITH A 2-0 WIN OVER Jasīʼyūn! 60 years of frustration, dissapointment, angst and bad memories have been wiped away with this victory! Qazox is into the Round of 16! And you can hear the cheers from Lake Porter city to SaxerVilla, from New Recife to Bruxen and everywhere else. Qazox is among the top 16 in the World!"

We have other score from Group H, and here it is:
Bettia 2-2 Milchama

And the match summary for all:
Qazox- (Goal): Kallie Jaus 42'
Qazox- Maria Reyes 65'
Sub- Jasīʼyūn: Felipa Uölfa in for Edna Gordon 65'
Sub- Qazox: Olivia St. Louis in for Maria Cruz-Preli 71'
Sub- Qazox: Letta Smicht in for Stevie Spingler 71'
Sub- Jasīʼyūn: Abúndio Buëglo in for Staùros Daniīlídou 77'
Qazox- (Goal): Kallie Jaus 89'

WORLD CUP STATISTICS:
Goals:
Kallie Jaus- 2
Anderson Tarricone- 1
Raul de Olivares- 1
Renna Valladores- 1

Bookings:
Reyes- 1 Red (will miss at least the Round of 16 match)
Reyes- 1 Yellow
Stasinos- 1 Yellow

QUALIFYING STATISTICS:
Goals:
Kallie Jaus- 5 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 4
Renna Valladores- 4
Raul de Olivares- 2
Stevie Spingler
Charles Marquis (1 PK)
Letta Smicht
Willow Farmwald

Bookings:
Spingler- 1 RED (missed the 2nd Zwangzug match)
Shillingford- 1 Yellow
Stasinos- 1 Yellow
Reyes- 1 Yellow
Heberly- 1 Yellow
de Olivares- 1 Yellow
Valladores- 1 Yellow

This is the final RP cutoff for the group stage.

Groups A to D, your Matchday Three scores are here (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13811547&postcount=23). All teams can also find the second round draw and second round stadia in that post.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 41 COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

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CONFIDENCE FINALLY COMES AFTER QUALIFICATION

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/1096/imagemhpe7.jpg
Replay of Fabrício's goal

How curious things are in the world of football. Before the start of the qualifying stage, people were commenting that was the worst NT of Cafundéu’s history, worst even than WC35’s one (as this one won the CoH, and people commented that it just didn’t qualify for the WC because of coach Alfredo Neves, now a champion in Jeru FC). The qualifying stage results didn’t change people’s minds. But, now that Cafundéu got the qualification for the Round of 16, things seem different. The supporters are now confident that the team can reach a stage that it has never reached before.

What’s the reason for this sudden confidence? It isn’t a clear one. The people suddenly started to trust in the team and to think that it has the capacity to finish in a very good position in this World Cup. The team seems now motivated. But, now, the team has to defeat Qazox, and it won’t be an easy job, as Qazox were group leaders. But some supporters remain more than confident, saying that the Monopolists have a good record against Qazox. But after that the shadow of Zwangzug appears as a possibility, something that frightens the Cafundelenses (memories of WCs 36/37).

THE FIRST HALF: but let’s talk now about the game against Taeshan, which result guaranteed Cafundéu in the second round of the World Cup. Once again, the Monopolists played with their third kit, probably hoping to have some luck in this game. Taeshan wanted revenge. It was Cafundéu that eliminated them from the World Cup last time. When the game started, it was clear that the Purple Knights were full of energy to get this good result. Maybe more than necessary. They started to make some unnecessary fouls and made many wrong passes. This opened space for the Monopolists to control the game.

The Cafundelense players used all their ball control and passing ability (which is the thing that their do best, by the way) to reach the opponent area, and started the pressure. Augusto César tried to score from a long ranged shot, but the goalkeeper Montague appeared well to make a save. Later, Flecha exchanged passes with Rubiano and shot to the goal. The ball hit the post. The goal was scored by Fabrício, after a corner kick. Moreira crossed, Riae headed the ball to the ground. The players started to return to defend, but suddenly Riae passed the ball to Fabrício, who shot and scored the goal. After the goal, Cafundéu continued offensive, but no more goals were scored.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Fabrício’s goal): “Corrrrrner kick to Cafundéu. It seems a good chance, as the Monopolists arrrrrrre suffocating Taeshan with intense attacks, a goal can be scorrrrrred soon. Morrrrreirrrrra to the crrrrrossing, the ball floats to the arrrrrea, to Rrrrriae’s head. Contrrrrrrols the ball now, time for a counterrrrrattack... bad passing, Fabrrrrrrrício takes it, shoots… look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Prrrrroduce the rrrrrreplay, people! Fabrrrrrício, number ten! Cafundéu one, Taeshan zerrrrro! Want to watch something exciting on the television? A different and varrrrriable prrrrrogrrrrrramation? So use the Satellite Cable TV, the one that gives you channels frrrrrom all arrrrrround the worrrrrrld: frrrrrom the war prrrrrogrrrrrrams of Sorrrrrtherrrrrn Norrrrrthland to the adult ones of Jerrrrruselem!”

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/7874/imagemjor2.jpg
Silveira attempts a shot

THE SECOND HALF: Cafundéu’s coach Rivaldo Sodré was satisfied with the team’s performance in the first half, and decided to make no changes. But, for Taeshan, things were very different. Losing the game, the coach Zeke made one substitution (this without forgetting that he made one during the first half!) and many changes in the team’s strategy. When the second half started, Taeshan looked a completely different team, and the Monopolists had some problems in the first minutes of the game to control the new tactics of the opponents.

But, after the grey (or is it black?) team got adapted to the new style of the Purple Knights, things returned to the way they were in the second half of the first half. Cafundéu controlling the ball, dominating the game and having good goal opportunities. But, after some time, the coach Rivaldo Sodré, discovering that Jeruselem was losing the game, decided to put the team to defend and guarantee at least a draw, that would put the team in the second round. This retreat wasn’t good for the eyes of some supporters, but, in the end, Cafundéu got the objective: the second place in the group.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Rivaldo defending the team): “Cafundéu with the ball on the left side, it’s Augusto César contrrrrrolling it, passes the ball to Morrrrreirrrrrra, he trrrrries to drrrrribble Ying Uing… loses the ball, it’s a thrrrrrrow in… Rrrrrrrivaldo will make a change… Zé Sho in Morrrrreirrrrra’s place… trrrrruly a defensive move (…) Taeshan trrrrrries a attack, Hele shoots frrrrrom outside the arrrrrea… over the bar! Substitution in Cafundéu… Jorginho enterrrrrs in Da Silva’s place… this is what I call defensive apprrrrroach! You can’t lose tomorrrrrrrrrrow the biggest car sales operrrrration of Cafundéu! Velog carrrrrrs with incrrrrrredible prrrrrrices! Only tomorrrrrrow, in Velog dealerships!”

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: objective fulfilled. Cafundéu is in the round of 16. The supporters now seem much more confident that the team can do a great performance in this World Cup. And surely this fact makes the coach and the players happier. Coach Rivaldo Sodré, with a smile on his face, said to the media: “We got it. Many people doubt that this team could achieve something, but here it is: we are in the round of sixteen. And we can do more, I’m sure of it. We’ll fight for more, it’s not an easy job, but it is an very possible one.”

When asked if the grey shirt brought luck to the team, Sodré said: “No, it’s only a shirt. But, anyway, we can check if it is true in the next game, as I think we’ll return to use our red-black one. Although I’m not sure, as it is the CCFM that decides it, but I was informed that the team will use the red-black.” The midfielder Augusto César said: “I’m very confident. Our defence seems perfect, our attack scoring when it needs to. So, I think that we really can reach a stage where no other Cafundelense NT has reached.”

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/3380/imagemicz3.jpg
Augusto César marking an opponent

CAFUNDÉU 1x0 TAESHAN

Place: Tallyn Ground, in Dalinn.
Attendance: 60,000 people.
Referee: Hernan Delgado (Candelaria And Marquez).
MOTM: Augusto César (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Luizão, Alex and Gaëif; Silveira, Da Silva (Jorginho 78’), Augusto César and Tobias (Zé Sho 63’); Flecha, Fabrício and Rubiano (Careca 84’).
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/taeshan.png TAESHAN: Montague; Rhietuard, Riae and Raellis; Ying Uing, Smyth (Sanchex 65’) and Zeke Jr.; Hele, Kitna (Domingo 35’), Lewis and Williams (Tyrony 45’).
Coach: Zeke.

Goals:CAF: Fabrício 34'.

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Cafundéu – formation for the game against Qazox: Moisés; Vasco, Alex and Gaëif; Silveira, Da Silva, Augusto César and Moreira; Flecha, Fabrício and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +1

Match’s Referee: Frank Mülletznorf (Bazalonia).

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WC Goalscorers (WC Proper):

7- Flecha
5 (1)- Augusto César
4 (1)- Fabrício
3- Moreira
2- Silveira, Alex
1- Da Silva, Rubiano, Valtinho, Marcelo Rocha

"They're in! They're in! They're in!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Qazox made the second round of the World Cup after 9 failures"

"That's ridiculous. You know what this means?"

"What?"

"The Cubs will win the World Series"

"They won it last year"

"Suuuuuuuure they did"

"What are you talking about?"

"Qazox advanced"

"I know so?"

"That's ridiculous"

"Sure so what about important stuff"

"What important stuff?"

"How about how did Milchama do?"

"You were at the pub with me, we both know"

"But do our listeners"

"Who cares about them? 2-2 draw, most interesting thing being that the picture of Marc J. Floren scored two goals due to two well timed wind gusts."

"Anything on the witch doctor?"

"No"

"Really?"

"Well we have to spy some more"

"We started spying?"

"Ok so then we need to start spying whatever man."

"Are you ready to go all out on this?"

"Yes"

"Let Operation Magic Fingers commence"

"Alright"

A simmering cauldron of noise was above them, the Stade des Îles was rocking with nationalistic fervour. Starblaydi and Krytenian (née West Starblaydi) fans had begged, borrowed and perhaps even stolen in order to get to this match, the latest in the long history of matches between the two veteran nations. As if any more spice needed to be added to this fixture, it was a decider for who would go through to the knock-out stages of the Forty-First World Cup. Oh, and the fact that up until the week before, Starblaydia had official sovereignty over Krytenia thanks to the marriage of their national leaders, perhaps the largest dowry in history. Krytenia was newly independent again and fiercely proud, no more or less than the people of Starblaydia, of course, but the unique situation between the two countries lended itself perfectly create an atmosphere unrivaled anywhere in the world. In Ad'ihan the long history would have another chapter written, the only question was over the content.

The two teams stood in the tunnel, side by side, to a man staring straight ahead, focused and ready for the game to come. The Krytenians stood in a motley collection of light blue shirts, replacing the navy that they had worn as West Starblaydia. The goalkeeper still wore his ediraf kit, though with black tape to cover the elements of Starblaydi culture like the ediraf symbol.

"...just look at the scenes in the tunnel there. It looks like, Trefor, that there were only two sizes of cyan shirts available: extra large and extra small."

"They ran out of extra large fairly quickly then, John..."

Starblaydia, too, were not wearing their customary kit. The White and Green, which had replaced the White and Purple for this campaign to promote Starblaydia's environmental concerns, was gone. Now they wore their old away kit: all purple with white trim. The senior players had got together and asked for the change in kit and their manager, Lex Panarii, had immediately agreed, with one amendment.

"... look closely at those purple Starblaydi shirts, can you... yes, I think I see something new there, above the badge. Two golden stars, representing the two World Championships Starblaydia have won, just above the SFA badge."

"They're definitely out to show Krytenia who the daddies are, John, another little bit of mind games for the opposition to think over..."

The teams stepped out onto the pitch and the stadium erupted with a single roar, purple and cyan everywhere. One team walked tall in pristine shirts, elegantly designed and manufactured, with Group E statistics and KPB rank and their favour. The old had a motley collection of kits that would put a pub team to shame, but they walked every bit as tall as their opponents. Though the scoreboard still said 'West Starblaydia', some adventurous soul decided to clamber around the stadium in order to drape a massive 'Never W.Starblaydia, Always Krytenia' banner. The national anthems were belted out by each side, with a low undertone of booing - contrary to the nation's usual behaviours - throughout the two tunes. Jim Austin and Leandro Perheira - the two captains - shook hands in the centre circle.

"...you get the feeling, Trefor, that if someone put a lump of coal in the middle of that handshake, if would have come out as a diamond."

"Makes you wonder which captain will be out of the Second Round with a broken metacarpal, John..."

Appalling a film it may have been, but this match was was fast and furious from the outset. Every touch was closed down, defended to the last man, not an ounce of quarter was asked for or given. A titanic struggle of the like to go down in the sporting histories of both Starblaydia and Krytenia, the tackles flew in just as much as the players were sent flying by rough challenges, with verbal exchanges going on constantly between the players. Lip-readers were blushing across the world as the referee struggled to get a hold on the match.

"...this is going to boil over, Trefor, if the referee can't start controlling this game quickly..."

Carlito Di Bradini and Steven Corazon had already received yellow cards in an effort to put a halt to the challenges, but evidently it was not enough, as the veteran Chris Worvell slid into a challenge on Fenchurch Bentley with his studs showing. The crowd around the touchline leapt to their feet at the challenge as first Starblaydi and then Krytenian players rushed to the scene. Fenny was down, curled up, the number 11 on her shirt plainly visible to the TV cameras.

"...bad tackle on Bentl- oh it's all come to a head here, there's pushing and shoving, I think a fist has been thrown in there! Referee and assistants are breaking things up, but it's all gone wrong here for Starblaydia and Krytenia!"

"A horrible tackle, John, on Fenny Bentley, she's still down and it's no surprise the reaction that Worvell has provoked."

"It's still not something you can condone or explain away, but something like this has been coming, and the referee hasn't been strong enough to cope with it. Perhaps the WCC were expecting a friendly little match between puppet and master, and if they were then they certainly don't have a grasp of international politics."

Fenny Bentley had to be helped off the pitch and substituted, to which the Starblaydi medical staff would later confirm a chip to her ankle bone, too painful to play on, that would need time to heal and allow her body to naturally re-attach the chip that was now floating around her joint. Starblaydi defensive midfielder Wen Tze-Shu was brought on in her place. A tough-tackling hothead, his partnership with Stafador would be a solid but volatile one, with Batou Nakamura moving out to the right wing.

"I'm not sure, to be honest, whether the introdcution of Wen Tze-Shu will be a solution to the current problem, or just exacerbate them."

Starblaydia's midfield began to dominate from the moment the whistle blew to restart the game. Both Stafador and Tze-Shu were excellent ball-winners and all-round midfield engines, taking complete control in the centre of the park as they were man-to-man against Steven Corazon and Jim Austin. With the centre of midfield under control, Starblaydia's two wingers came into the game much more. As Kuu and Nakamura prospered, Lubii and Callind naturally came into the game more as, perversely for bringing on a defensive player in place of a striker-come-winger, the play opened up and skill became a little more important than power.

"...Kuu, down the left wing, outpacing Wolverton... he's past Rydell! Carbon copy of the Ad'ihan goal perhaps? Shoots... Saved! Lubii on the follow-up, it's blocked, STAFADOR! Starblaydia take the lead as Jack Stafador smashes it home! He points to the name at on the back of his shirt, but it's not the 'Stafador' across his shoulders, it's the 'Starblaydia' underneath. The Starblaydi Number Four has broken the deadlock here at the Stade des Îles!"

"Brilliant build-up play and some latch ditch defending but it proved to be not enough... first Garcia saves from Kuu, then Pojencic blocks Lubii's shot at close range, but Austin just couldn't get to the ball before Stafador, and he's smashed it into the top right hand corner. One-Nil!"

Starblaydi fans were celebrating for all they were worth, and it only served to pump up the purple-clad Starblaydi players further, with both Callind and Nakamura going close, while Krytenia looked happy just to hear the half-time whistle and still only be a single goal down. There were reports of more scuffles in the tunnel as the players went to their respective dressing rooms, but nothing came of them.

The second half started more brightly for Krytenia, as there downturn in form was simply due to the emotion of conceding a goal. With the chance to set their mentality straight in the fifteen minute break, they came out as a much better side, and the play reflected more the relative ranking of the two old footballing nations. Breitenreiter was played in by Kennedy for a close-range shot and a long-range Aquino shot tested Nikolaidis, but no real pressure was brought by either side and the game swung back and forth with exciting, counter-attacking, end-to-end football.

"Kuu, tackled by Handforth - no foul there - up to Corazon, driving forward, lovely little one-two with Kennedy, Corazon continues forward, squares wide to Aquino, Chang-hwa slips! Aquino into the penalty area, Chang-hwa coming back, to cover... penalty! The ref has pointed to the spot, Starblaydia are furious! The covering tackle by Jae Chang-hwa has brought a Krytenian penalty, but she claims she got the ball."

"On the replay, it's so difficult to tell whether she touched the ball or Michael Aquino first, and the ref and his assistant were on the wrong side to be able to see clearly."

"Oh he's certainly gone down easily, there is contact but he's made a meal of it. Kennedy to take the penalty, though. Perheira booked for protesting, in the meantime. Kennedy steps up - SAVE- but it's in! Kennedy follows up to put it in the back of the net and it's One-All!

Krytenia were fired up and Starblaydia were seething. World Cup Fantasy Football players would have enjoyed the bonus points for Nikolaidis saving a penalty - though the three conceded goals in the Ad'ihan match would surely have put them off buying the Starblaydi keeper - but One-All it remained. The points were shared but Starblaydia knew it was enough to go through. Second place in the Group, they remain at the Stade des Îles to face 10th-ranked Zwangzug and for their Captain, Leandro Perheira, to win his 100th cap for his country, becoming Starblaydia's first centurion.

Your friendly reporter giving you an unsanctioned (as in, I'm not supposed to be here, but it's the 4th of July and every person in my lab is taking the day off :D) look at the performance of teams in the World Cup Group Stage:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts Rank
1 Zwangzug 3 3 0 0 8 3 5 9 13
2 Capitalizt SLANI 3 2 1 0 6 1 5 7 2
3 Valanora 3 2 1 0 7 3 4 7 1
4 The Archregimancy 3 2 1 0 5 1 4 7 34
5 Qazox 3 2 1 0 5 2 3 7 26
6 Kura-Pelland 3 2 0 1 2 4 -2 6 31
7 Ad’ihan 3 1 2 0 7 5 2 5 12
8 Wentland 3 1 2 0 5 3 2 5 23
9 Az-cz 3 1 2 0 4 2 2 5 6
10 Cafundéu 3 1 2 0 2 1 1 5 17
11 Tynelia 3 1 1 1 6 3 3 4 8
12 Milchama 3 1 1 1 4 3 1 4 3
13 Bostopia 3 1 1 1 4 3 1 4 19
14 Quakmybush 3 1 1 1 2 1 1 4 18
15 Bazalonia 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4 7
16 Yafor 2 3 1 1 1 2 4 -2 4 16
17 Vephrall 3 1 0 2 5 5 0 3 28
18 Starblaydia 3 0 3 0 5 5 0 3 21
19 West Starblaydia 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3 27
20 Squornshelous 3 1 0 2 4 5 -1 3 4
21 Demot 3 1 0 2 3 5 -2 3 10
22 UCS-JSY 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3 24
23 Dancougar 3 1 0 2 6 10 -4 3 22
24 Bettia 3 0 2 1 6 7 -1 2 14
25 Jeruselem 3 0 2 1 2 3 -1 2 11
26 The Holy Empire 3 0 2 1 1 2 -1 2 20
27 Casari 3 0 2 1 4 6 -2 2 5
28 Kelssek 3 0 2 1 1 3 -2 2 44
29 Daehanjeiguk 3 0 1 2 2 4 -2 1 25
30 Taeshan 3 0 1 2 2 6 -4 1 38
31 Northern Bettia 3 0 0 3 0 7 -7 0 15
32 Sel Appa 3 2 0 1 5 4 1 -74 9

The Best Performing Teams:
1st Seed - Capitalizt SLANI (tied with Valanora, but ahead on GD)
2nd Seed - Zwangzug (best performing team in Group Stage)
3rd Seed - Wentland (tied with Cafundeu, but ahead on GD)
4th Seed - The Archregimancy (tied with Qazox, but ahead on GD)

The Worst Performing Teams:
1st Seed - Casari
2nd Seed - Northern Bettia (worst performing team in Group Stage)
3rd Seed - The Holy Empire
4th Seed - Taeshan (tied with Daehanjeiguk, but loses on GD)

The Best Team: Zwangzug
The Worst Team: Sel Appa (on account of CtE)

Seeds Filled in Second Round:
1st Seed - 6/8 (75%) | 6/16 (32.5%)
2nd Seed - 3/8 (32.5%) | 3/16 (18.75%)
3rd Seed - 3/8 (32.5%) | 3/16 (18.75%)
4th Seed - 4/8 (50%) | 4/16 (25%)

Highest Seed not in Second Round:
Casari (5)
Lowest Seed in Second Round:
The Archregimancy (34)
Lowest Seed to Clinch Group Pole Position:
The Archregimancy (34)
Worst Performing Team to Clinch Group Pole Position:
Kura-Pelland (GD= -2)
Team Most Adversely Affected by Pistachios:
Jeruselem (11)
Luckiest Team of Group Stage:
Vephrall (28)
Most Neutral Group: Group E (7/8 matches ended in a draw)
Most Aggressive Group (GF): Group G (23 total GF)
Most Defensive Group (GA): Group B (10 total GA)
Most Random Team: The Holy Empire (they kept eating my %$#^ balls!)

Han's Choice of Group of Death:
Group G
* 3 teams tied up killed me.

The Actual Group of Death:
Group A
* We're out of here...

Amazing, isn't it. Kura-Pelland have never made the last sixteen before, but now with the media glare largely off them and expectations set to zero they've only gone and bloody done it.

A goal from - who else? - Norbert Fiero proved the difference, set up by Danny Ibbetson who is well and truly over life at KT Hotspur. But he's learned from it, with two brilliant saving tackles in the last five minutes to deny Quakmybush. An epic encounter, and just to make it better Demot beat Tynelia 3-2 to push the religious fundamentalists into second and secure top spot for Kura-Pelland, along with a second-round match against Bazalonia.

Now, if there's one thing that can get Kura-Pellandi attention piqued, it is the perception of justice to be done. Bazalonia are only here because Sel Appa ceased to exist and their now-stateless XI contrived to lose to the Bazalopes, who had one point from the other two games. They shouldn't be here, and the determination to prevent them reaching the last eight is immense. Suddenly, this team have turned to fighting talk.

'We have the whole of the footballing world on our side and we must respond to that and not let them down,' said goalkeeper Stephen Hill. 'There's no way Bazalonia should be here and we must ensure they stay no longer. We have wonderful opportunity - the best any of us are ever likely to have - to enjoy an extended World Cup run. If any of us blow it, we will never forgive ourselves.' No pressure then.

'I feel a sense of duty to the Sel Appan expatriates now spread around the world,' added Chris Chenoweth. Fiero claimed that the Sel Appans were doing a favour to Bazalonia, and channeled Stephen Schwartz: 'This act of charity has not gone unresented, and we must ensure that it has no further effect.'

How they will fare against what could, in a bizarre conflagration of NS and RL, be described as 'Oz's favourite team' is anyone's guess. But they will be channeled by unadulterated loathing of the opposition and the way they got here. If they do succeed in saving the World Cup from its most questionable run to date, nobody will lay a lily on the Bazalopes' grave.

"This is horrible!" the president shouted in the Octagonial office.

"Yes Mr. president i know, our first loss doesn;t give us much momentum for the knockouts but we still made it costing us another chance to cut those religious nutbags down to size." Agent Smith answered.

"Not that Smith. THIS!" the president yelled slamming down a newspaper from Kura-Pelland and gesturing to the sports section. "look at this garbage."

and just to make it better Demot beat Tynelia 3-2 to push the religious fundamentalists into second

'Religious Fundamentalists? they mean those NOCCRO nutbags. Those morons aren;t even 1% of our population how can they get such notice? we're over 80% atheists but does anyone say anythign about that? NOOOOO. We'll be seen as nutty as the Archregimancy at this rate."

"Its their PR mr. president, the other groups are generrally low key but the NOCCRO are made up of peop[le who get their ideas for cerimony off of what they saw on TV or the movies. There's not a real religiousness to them, that's why the others get mad at them. Since they don't know any better they're usuing regular media outlets the others avoid, not to mention the success of the coach now that's he's come clean about it. Its just the sort of nonsense religion an atheist can look at and say 'hey its not a real religion so why not play along and have some fun.' "

"Make it stop Smith, your three predecessors have tried and failed. It's becoming a security concern. But at least we have Wentland next, they usually beat us in the WC."

"I'll see to it mr. president."

TEN BRAVE HEROES, ONE STUPID BASTARD
Dream dies after horror tackle

The conservative nation of Ad'ihan didn't know what hit it. The Stade des Îles became a cauldron of fury, hatred, and nationalist pride in a flash as the blue and purple touchpaper was lit just prior to kick-off. In a display of fabric-based oneupmanship, Starblaydia took to the field with two stars on their chest (this despite the fact that the White Lions last won the competition almost forty years ago), whilst Krytenia took to the field in what can only be described as sky blue hand-me-downs, loaned from a local pub team. Player names had clearly been scrawled on in permanent marker - though as a nice touch, each player had done so in their own handwriting.

The teams emerged from the tunnel, both led by captains single-mindedly determined to bury their counterpart. Both led their team through the singing of the anthems - though the Ad'ihani organisers were almost caught off guard by the sudden change of regime in Krytenia, playing the anthem off a slighty warped old tape. The traditional captains' handshake followed, and Jim Austin and Leandro Perheira both put themselves in danger of a card for violent conduct. Austin won the toss, and reacted by pumping his fist as if he'd just scored the opener.

The match finally got underway, and immediately resembled a decent war movie's battle scene. The opening quartr of an hour produced twenty-eight free kicks, and two yellow cards - one each for Steven Corazon and Carlito Di Bradini. The referee, from peaceful Qazox, was completely caught by surprise by the level of violence and dissent, and lost the plot. He came off after seventeen minutes, with a rather suspicious limp, and was replaced by the reserve offical - a much more robust Sorthern Northlander named O'Dairmuid. He had barely restarted the game when Chris Worvell assaulted Fenchurch Bentley with a triple-X rated tackle. The players took at each other with a ferocity of verbal tirades, and amidst all of the chaos, the Krytenian was rightly shown red. Bentley was too injured to continue, and replaced by sub Wen Tse-Shu.

Starblaydia made the most of the man advantage, and pressed hard at the Krytenian goal, eventually making the breakthrough after thirty-seven minutes. Even then, the goal had a touch of good fortune about it; after Juan Garcia had saved from Kuu, and Peter Pojencic had bravely blocked the potent Lubii's strike, the ball fell to Jack Stafador of all people, who scuffed into the open goal. One-nil, and no less that the Starblaydis deserved - but despite continued pressure, the Men In Mauve were unable to add to their tally.

Adam Toivonen seems to be from the famed Krytenian school of half-time team talks, and the rejuvenated Aces joined the fray in the second half on top. Fifty-two minutes into the game came another flashpoint as Michael Aquino was clumsily fouled just inside the box; the referee immediately pointed to the spot. Raphael Kennedy took the penalty, and though the wily Nemyan, Nikolaidis, saved the shot, the Stanton man slammed the rebound home and squared it. Krytenia were on top - but they couldn't make it count, and when Kevin Breitenreiter pinged the bar with a long-range effort in stoppage time, they knew it was over.

Krytenia's journey ends here - but it ends invictus, with no team beating them in the final tournament. They'll be back to compete in the next edition, and they'll be back in JMC cyan. Here's to hope and glory - and a Starblaydi defeat in round two.

"...oots of Peter Vanderpent and Gary Maini, in minutes 26 and 57 respectiv..."

Static. The foreigners can go straight to the webstream, and so can the domestic lot to be honest, or just go digital, but there's a certain allure to really tuning in. Not quite as fun as the AM stations of course, hundreds of miles (or kilometers) away, but still.

No, don't go so low! FM stations are only odd decimals here, so it's 104.1 we want. World Cup 41, geddit?

Aha. Here we have it.

"...and in honor of the ongoing World Cup and the upcoming Cup of Harmony, today's episode of Ask the Numerologist will be all football. Plus, we're streaming online worldwide. So international listeners are welcome to submit their questions."

"Hey! Thanks for finally broadcasting internationally, proud grammer here in Ajer. I'm wondering what you have to say about the LIDYT transfers from Zwangzug."

"Um..."

"Like Steven Ruck. He's not coming back next cup internationally, is he?"

"Oh. No. No, he's not, washed up and that, but he'll still go at it through the knockout stages."

"So he's past his prime then?"

"Prime? He never really had one. More of a composite fellow."

"Ah. Okay. Um, Dirk Grosa?"

"Aha! Now here's where numerology really comes in handy. He's number 28, right?"

"Uh, not at Spenson, he was number 6."

"Either way. Perfect numbers. Grosa's a perfectionist. And you know practice makes perfect, so he'll put in the work to excel, but he can complain no end when things aren't exactly his way."

"Ookay."

"Fielding calls from around the world, ask the numerologist!"

"Hi, this is a Bostopian, well technically I'm not in Bostopia as I'm in exile, but that doesn't matter."

"Hi, great to have you on the show."

"The government won't let me look at historical files. And they keep rewriting them. So I'm asking you: what really happened in Septentrionia in 984?"

"I'm sorry, this is numerology, not history."

"But they're being oppressive and stuff! Can't you help?"

"Well...I can try. Septentrionia you say?"

"Right."

"Well, let's see. Sept, that means seven. Ten, that means ten. Tri, that means three. So seven-ten-three: 7103. Minus 984, you get 6119."

"And what does that mean?"

"Oh, nothing. But it's the same upside-down, that's kinda cool."

"Ah. Okay. Bye then."

"Sorry..."

"Guten tag, ich bein ein Lont-"

"I'm sorry, I don't speak German. I try to sound it out, things never end well."

"No problem. This is Mari from the UCS, I'm wondering what you think of the Megabid?"

"The Megabid? Ha! Jasi'yun don't have a flagship stadium with capacity 48,024, do they?"

"Um, no."

"Megabid, pfft. Such an audacious venture at least deserves the honor of being called a Gigabid."

"Mm. Okay. Cool!"

"Keep those calls coming in, folks. Hello?"

"Hi, I'm from Newmanistan, really psyched about the Cup of Harmony. Can numerology predict who's gonna win it?"

"Well, perhaps. This is Cup of Harmony 33, right?"

"It will be, yeah."

"So, the natural place to look is back to World Cup 33-and its Cup of Harmony. Now, that was won by a team with an unimpressive Baptism of Fire but fairly good qualification run, despite the nation's lack of football interest overall."

"So...I should bet on Vonks?"

"I didn't say anything. Who's on the line now?"

"I'm a student at the Twin Cities university in Vephrall. I'm studying Bedistani history, and I'd be happy to discuss the hundred and nine years' war with the Bostopian fellow, but right now I have a question about the Zwangzug team."

"Fire away."

"What are you going to do when you run out of uniform numbers?"

"Pat ourselves on the back for getting that far."

"Right."

"And we've got another call from...where are you?"

"Seojang. Congrats to your team, really good job."

"Thanks."

"Only team with nine points, scored the most goals. Are Zwangzug going to win the World Cup?"

"Well, that nine points is the tricky thing. Can't take it too easy: six-four-oh in the qualification led to a great group phase. Now we'll crash and burn."

"So, a bad group phase would mean a good knockout stage? Assuming you made it?"

"Yeah."

"But then, you'd want a good qualification for a bad group phase and-"

"Hey, I'm the numerologist here! Anybody else?"

"Well, I'm from Dancougar, and we don't have uniform numbers, so nyah."

"Maybe they would have helped."

"Heeey! Yuji Watanabe has been shouldering a lot of blame for the Black Wings' collapse. Is that fair?"

"No, of course not-can't put too much pressure on just one person, it's not cool. No square root of negative one in team."

"I picked the wrong country to ask this, didn't I?"

"I mean, it ended 5-3, so the Zwangzug offense had to work for those last couple goals. It was close for a while."

"You're not even answering my question."

"I didn't even watch the match. I don't actually care all that much about football."

"...Yeah. All right. Say, do you know what 735 928 etcetera means?"

"No."

"You're a lousy numerologist too."

"That's nice. Anybody else?"

"Iskara fan here. Leandro Perheira will make his 100th appearance against Zwangzug. Why has he achieved this mark when none of the old stars have?"

"Are Starblaydia playing more matches? Oxen and Oriental cups and stuff?"

"Maybe."

"That'd do it."

"Cool."

"All right. I think we've got time for one last call...Hi! Where are you from?"

"Squornshelous. When is our team going to pull it together and come back from this?"

"I have no idea. Have your headquarters been seized under eminent domain, perchance?"

"Not that I know of."

"The president tipped us off, so Littlewood made sure to sign up nice and early. Of course, cars are banned, so it's probably going to be a train station coming through."

"New plans rising from the ashes of the old, nice and symbolic. Right?"

"I guess so, yeah."

(OOC note: Details of Zwangzug-Squornshelous match herein were confirmed with Zwangzug beforehand.)


The Meice Journal
All the news that fits, we print!
Vol. 166, No. 66 - 23 April 1758

Sports

World Cup 41, a Fan's Perspective
by Urkero Pranasik
http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/vephrall/photos/reporters/Pranasik, Urkero.jpg

The Journal's head sports reporter, Brameit Filler, watched and wrote about Vephrall's World Cup group stage match against Dancougar from a luxurious press box at Protectorate Stadium, much as he would normally do. But in order to really get the true experience, you need to be down there in the stands with the rest of the fans, seeing what they see. And that's precisely what I did. While I was there, I took running notes of what was going on, and instead of compiling those into a formal newspaper report, I'm going to present them to you here as I wrote them.

1712: The stadium just opened up a little over ten minutes ago, and I was one of the first through the gates. I've taken my seat here on the north side of the stadium near the midfield line.

1731: This place is filling up pretty quickly. Hardly a surprise, with both teams still in contention and this being a vitally important match for both of them.

1736: Questionable waiting music choices here. I guess I wouldn't get along very well with an Ad'ihani when it comes to music.

1754: Players are beginning to take to the pitch for warm-up exercises. Mercifully, the sun's starting to get lower in the sky; my eyes have been none too pleased with the situation thus far.

1818: There's a bit of burnt orange mixed in among the white and gold of the Vephrall side of the pitch (Vephrall is designated the home team here). Presumably those are the members of the University of Riestre band, invited to play the Vephrall national anthem here today.

1830: The big screen at the east end of the stadium shows both teams' starting lineups for today's match:

Vephrall: Rilin; Umsaasad, Gackbang, Wassaraat, Pinteps; Pasarap, Ponten, Latissle; Pranasik, Scathock, Phootid. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

Dancougar: Watanabe; Barclay, Berber, Weatherford, Yukikaze; Dylandy, Leyton, Morimoto, Whittaker; Ikeda, Jinguuji. Dylandy starts in favor of Boskov to bolster the Dancougar attack a bit.

1843: This place is packed now, and you can just feel the crowd's anticipation.

1848: Uh-oh. It just started raining here at Protectorate Stadium, and judging by the radar signature they just displayed up on the screen, kickoff might have to be delayed a few minutes while we wait on a storm to go through.

1857: Stadium staff has given the okay for pregame ceremonies to commence. Not too bad, we're only running about five minutes late.

1900: The Dancougar national anthem begins. Meanwhile, Zwangzug and Squornshelous kick off in Airport City. I have with me a portable battery-powered TV tuned to the local broadcaster covering that match.

1903 (1133 in Septentrionia): The Riestre Marching Bulls launch into the most rousing rendition of Vephrall's wordless untitled national anthem I've heard in a very long time. The Dancougarans on hand are very polite during its playing and many even cheered afterward. I think the VFR may have underestimated our opponents, or at least their fans.

1907: The referee blows his whistle, and we are underway at Protectorate Stadium.

1911: You know, every time I watch a game involving Zwangzug, I'm always amazed by just how hard it is to score even against a team that has no goalkeeper. For one thing, it's much harder to get to their goal in the first place, since you have an extra outfielder to deal with. And then, even if you do get through, there's a very high chance you end up getting overconfident and missing the goal rather badly. It really is an ingenious strategy.

1916: GOAL! Soscren Pranasik opens the scoring for tonight's Group G matches, in off the post and Watanabe was too far away to do anything with it. So that's step one of three. Step two is for Zwangzug to take the lead against Squornshelous, and then step three is making sure the goal difference works out.

1922: Nearly an equalizer for the Black Wings as Jinguuji sends a powerful shot on goal, but Phootid Rilin is able to turn it over for a corner.

1926: GOAL! And now Zwangzug are ahead 1-0 off the boot of Gary Maini. If my scratch calculations and my understanding of the head-to-head tiebreaker are correct, Squornshelous are still in 2nd, Dancougar 3rd, and Vephrall 4th as it stands. Zwangzug and Vephrall are going to need to combine for two or three more goals if we want to get through.

1931: GOAL! Mistake by Evan Weatherford, as he steps the wrong way and loses the man he was marking. That man: Cese Scathock. Into the upper right corner, and it's two-nil to Vephrall. That'll bring Vephrall ahead of Dancougar into third place; one more goal will tie us with Squornshelous for second...and I'm not really sure how the tiebreaker goes then. Does the head-to-head recurse, resulting in Squornshelous holding on to second? Hm.

1938: Disallowed goal Jinguuji is not very happy with the referee (who is, incidentally, from Kelssek), who said he fouled Umsaasad in the box as he poked the ball past Rilin. Frankly, I didn't see anything wrong, but the ref says no goal and a free kick to Vephrall.

1943: Still one-nil in Airport City, and the fourth official indicates two minutes of added time in the half.

1946: GOAL! Well, I knew Vephrall was going to be fired up for this game, but I didn't expect anything like this. The favored Black Wings now find themselves three-nil down after Dotos Ponten heads in a Pasarap corner. So Squornshelous and Vephrall are tied for second, each with three points, four goals scored, four goals conceded, and each either having previously lost or currently being down one-nil to Zwangzug. I list Squornshelous in the number two slot in my table due to their win over us. Come on, guys, just one more goal.

1947: Halftime at Stade Aéroport, Zwangzug lead 1-0.

1951: After that third goal, the Black Wings look absolutely deflated. As it stands right now, they'd need to come back and tie it up in order to progress to the next round. Fourth official says one minute of added time.

1953: Halftime at Protectorate Stadium, Vephrall lead 3-0.

2002: Zwangzug-Squornshelous is underway again. We need Zwangzug to hold onto their lead no matter what.

2008: And the whistle has blown to begin the second half here. The Dancougaran team looks a bit more fired up than they did at the end of the first half, but you can tell that they know they have a very difficult task ahead of them.

2014: GOAL! Peter Vanderpent doubles Zwangzug's lead, and that's great news for us! It really doesn't help us in the standings, as that has no effect on the head-to-head table, but it makes it a lot harder for Squornshelous to tie that game up and pull ahead on points.

2021: Parker Law makes his first substitution now, Seketre Wismalies on to replace a tiring Jehoepe Pasarap.

2023: And now a substitution for the Black Wings, DuPont making a pretty logical move given the situation. Shiro Furuya replacing Morimoto, and the Wings shift from a 4-4-2 to a 4-3-3. They need goals.

2031: Not much has happened in the last several minutes, though Dancougar looks to exploit a Vephrall defense that wasn't as agile as when the match started. And that'll probably explain this substitution, Avilass Gackbang out in favor of Taclik Prarbens. Normally with a three-goal lead, he'd have probably taken off one of the strikers, but right now three-nil isn't quite enough.

2038: GOAL! Uh-oh. Hideo Ikeda and his team aren't giving up just yet. Rilin got a couple fingers on the ball, but couldn't deflect it far enough away and it goes into the back of the net to make it 3-1. Now Vephrall must score again, as they fall back behind Squornshelous on head-to-head-to-head goal difference.

2042: Double substitution for Dancougar. Musashi Yamada on for a very tired Evan Weatherford, while Lenny Manchester takes over for Ikeda. Looking for fresh legs here, not more legs.

2045: Three minutes of added time in Airport City.

2047: GOAL! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we've all been waiting for! Soscren Pranasik in a bid to be declared Vephrall's national hero as he scores his second of the match to make it 4-1. And if I have my math right, that moves Vephrall into second place, ahead of Squornshelous on goals scored in the head-to-head table (five to four). Six minutes plus injury time remaining - can we hold on?

2050: FULL TIME - Zwangzug 2-0 Squornshelous

2052: Dancougar seem just about ready to just let the clock run out now; they know they're not going to pull off three more goals now. The fourth official mercifully indicates just two minutes of added time.

2055: FULL TIME - Vephrall 4-1 Dancougar And that's it! The white and gold of Vephrall are through to the knockout stages of the World Cup for the first time ever! It's pandemonium here in the stands all around me, everyone amazed that we somehow managed to pull it off. I'll need to check on this back at the hotel, but I believe we play hosts Ad'ihan next. Always tough playing a host nation; let's hope Law and his boys are ready.

QSPN Soccernet.com

Knockout Round Preview:

Daehanjeiguk region:
Wentland v. Tynelia — Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae
Capitalizt SLANI v. Az-cz — Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju
Kura-Pelland v. Bazalonia — Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Jinhwangdo
The Archregimancy v. Yafor 2 — Goguryeo Football Stadium, Pyeongyang

Ad’ihan region:
Ad'ihan v. Vephrall — Protectorate Stadium, Ad’ihan, City of Ad’ihan
Valanora v. Milchama — Tallyn Ground, Dalinn, Barrier Island
Zwangzug v. Starblaydia — Stade des Îles, Ad’ihan, City of Ad’ihan
Qazox v. Cafundéu — Stade Aéroport, Airport City, Grand Island

Road to World Cup for teams:

Wentland v. Tynelia
Wentland- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 1 (6-0-4); World Cup: 1-2-0; 1st Group A, due to Sel Appa CTE) Overall: 7-2-4
Tynelia- Qualifiers: 1st Group 12 (10-0-0); World Cup: 1-1-1; 2nd Group C Overall: 11-1-1
Projected winner: Tynelia

Capitalizt SLANI v. Az-cz
Capitalizt SLANI- Qualifiers: 1st Group 15 (9-0-1); World Cup: 2-1-0; 1st Group B, Overall: 11-1-1
Az-cz- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 3 (5-2-3); World Cup: 1-2-0; 2nd Group D Overall: 6-3-4
Projected winner: Capitalizt SLANI

Kura-Pelland v. Bazalonia
Kura-Pelland- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 2 (5-3-2); World Cup: 2-0-1; 1st Group C, Overall: 7-3-3
Bazalonia- Qualifiers: 1st Group 1 (7-1-2); World Cup: 1-1-1; 2nd Group A Overall: 8-2-3
Projected winner: Bazalonia on PK.

The Archregimancy v. Yafor 2
The Archregimancy- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 14 (6-1-3); World Cup: 2-1-0; 1st Group D, Overall: 8-2-3
Yafor 2- Qualifiers: 1st Group 9 (7-3-0); World Cup: 1-1-1; 2nd Group B Overall: 8-4-1
Projected winner: The Archregimancy in Extra Time.

Ad'ihan v. Vephrall
Ad'ihan- Qualifiers: AutoQualifier (co-host); World Cup: 1-2-0; 1st Group E, Overall: 1-2-0
Vephrall- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 13 (6-1-3); World Cup: 1-0-2; 2nd Group G Overall: 7-1-5
Projected winner: Ad'ihan in Extra Time.

Valanora v. Milchama
Valanora- Qualifiers: 1st Group 14 (9-1-0); World Cup: 2-1-0; 1st Group F, Overall: 11-2-0
Milchama- Qualifiers: 1st Group 11 (9-1-0); World Cup: 1-1-1; 2nd Group H Overall: 10-2-1
Projected winner: Valanora on PK.

Zwangzug v. Starblaydia
Zwangzug- Qualifiers: 1st Group 7 (6-4-0); World Cup: 3-0-0; 1st Group G, Overall: 9-4-0
Starblaydia- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 12 (6-2-2); World Cup: 0-3-0; 2nd Group E Overall: 6-5-2
Projected winner: Zwangzug

Qazox v. Cafundéu
Qazox- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 7 (6-4-0); World Cup: 2-1-0; 1st Group H, Overall: 8-5-0
Cafundéu- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 5 (7-2-1); World Cup: 1-2-0; 2nd Group F Overall: 8-4-1
Projected winner: Qazox on PK

Qazox v. Cafundéu All-Time Record (Cafundéu leads 2-0-0)
World Cup 38 MD1 @ Vephrall- Cafundéu 3-1
World Cup 39 MD2 @ UCS- Cafundeu 1-0

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/kirkenescourier-new.png

Tupper: World Cup run "just the beginning"

Jul 04, 2008

AARON PERKINS
STAFF REPORTER

The general manager of Kelssek's national football team has said the results of Kelssek's brief run at the finals of World Cup 41 in Ad'ihan and Daehanjeiguk was "extremely positive".

Mark Tupper made these comments to reporters at Malton International Airport, as the team arrived home after being eliminated in the first round with two draws and one loss. It was the first time Kelssek had won qualification to the finals of football's World Cup.

"Going in as the lowest-ranked team to make it, on our first time, to have got the results we did, is a fantastic result. We could very credibly have been expected to have lost all the games and it would have been as expected, so anything above that is obviously a bonus."

Tupper also said he was very optimistic of future success.

"This is just the beginning. We're definitely going to build upon this success. We've got lots of great young players, the standard in the domestic league is on the up, and we're only going to get better."

A small crowd of about five hundred supporters had gathered, waving flags and banners in the arrivals hall to welcome home the team.

HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

BLANCMANGES EATEN
Kelssek Match Fiasco Ends Imperial Campaign
Di Bradini Threatens to Quit

By Anna Comneno

The Holy Empire's World Cup campaign came to a disappointing end last night in Hanseong as citizens of co-host nation Daehanjeiguk ate the Imperial squad following one of the most farcical matches in recent World Cup history.

With news filtering through from Hangyeong of the Capitalizt SLANI's 3-0 thrashing of Yafor 2, the Holy Empire needed to win by just a single goal against Group B makeweights Kelssek in order to go through. Unfortunately, a ruling by the host nation that both squads would have to play in plastic bags - the blancmanges to stop them from eating match balls, Kelssek to protect them from the cautionary measures taken against the blancmanges - totally killed the atmosphere, with neither team able to advance the ball much past the halfway line over the 90 minutes.

"It was a total farce" said an anonymous source close to the Holy Empire Football Association. "Whether you're a blancmange or a human being, you can't play football if you're encased in a plastic bag. You can't pass, you can't tackle, and you certainly can't shoot straight."

Local fans, incensed at having to pay good money for tickets to the 'match' came as close to rioting as citizens of the Han Empire are permitted to, descending on the pitch after the 90 minutes wielding forks and spoons. In a frenzy of blancmangephiliac hunger-lust, thousands of Han residents descended upon the tasty Imperial puddings, who were trapped and unable to protect themselves inside their mandated plastic bags. The Kelssek players narrowly escaped with their lives as several confused Han seemed unable to distinguish between blancmanges in plastic bags and humans in plastic bags.

Kelssek media reports downplayed the incident, choosing instead to focus on the team's accomplishment in avoiding losing all three first round matches, but reaction from Imperial team coach Juan Tzimisces was more robust, as the World Cup Hall of Fame legend declared himself 'extremely disappointed' that local security forces were 'unable to protect our citizens, however unconventional in form.'

In other news, the other World Cup Hall of Famer associated with the Imperial squad, former Starblaydi legend Simeone Di Bradini, was said to be 'close to resigning' from his role with the team following last night's fiasco. "Mr. Di Bradini has a reputation to protect" said a source close to the assistant manager, "and that reputation is not enhanced by being associated with asinine, juvenile stunts like playing sentient man-eating blancmanges in a World Cup." Mr. Di Bradini was said to be insisting that the WC42 squad consist of 'humans drawn from the top ranks of the Imperial League' if he is to remain in the same role through the next tournament.

"Good morning High Priestess. How were you dreams this past night?" a rather short and scruffy looking priest asked when the Priestess entered the dining chambers.

"Troubled," the pale faced lady exclaimed, but then in a whisper she spoke, "but enlightening all the same."

Intruiged by the unusual disposition of the spiritual leader of the faith, the priest briefly paused to collect his thoughts, and then prodded the Priestess for more information.

"What sort of dreams would leave milady so pale? What sort of horrible images would make her exclaim so loudly that she is troubled? Why would such images be enlightening milady?"

"It is because Elune has at long last entered my dreams again."

"Then it must be with courageous news that she would bring! Perhaps information on how to restore us to our grace, to restore our population, or even on how to deal with our sorrows? Please do tell Priestess!"

"It is all of that my good borther of the faith. She brought tidings on how we are no longer pure, and that is why the citizens are acting soo differently. She told me how I could have our people resurected. In doing so, our grief would dissapear."

"This is all wonderful news then, so what troubles you High Priestess? With such blessed tidings for our goddess, we should be celebrating and preparing the way for the restoration of our people."

"It is because of the price we will have to pay in order to make all that we desire come to frutition. It is the sacrifice that must be made in order to cleanse the unpure, to restore the majesty and grace that is our races birthright. I do not think I can ask my followers to give up what Elune asks of them in order to make the world right again."

"What is it that she is asking for? Surely the price is not too steep, for she is a merciful goddess."

"She is asking that either me or our Great Leader perform the the purification of the godwell in Char Sara. It was tainted by the demons invasion, and then when Jas Hatire was battling the invaders, some of his blood spilled into the pool. As a result, the aggression of his race, the blood elves, has further corrupted the well, however that taint can not be cleansed. Therefore, if and when either of us performs the purification, and Elune resurects our fallen loved ones, they will not be pure elves like us, but a hybrid between us and the blood elves. What sort of powers they will wield is unknown, or if they will even remember their past lives, but this is the promise of Elune. The sacrifice of one to deliver the salvation of billions.

I know that I must be the one to do the purification, our dear Tobias is still in his infancy of life. He is working too hard and too dilegently to rebuild the country to only not be able to see the fruits of his labors. My only regret is that I could not of done more, that I could not of foreseen the tragedy and stopped this from ever coming to pass. I will do as my goddess wills, and be content in the knowledge that through my own sacrifice, I will have promised the continuation of our excellence far beyond my years.

I shall now retire to my chambers and prepare for the ceromony. Health and Happiness brother priest, may your time be as elegant as mine."

Ajer, Yafor 2. The Cafundelense army, counting with the support of agents from Daehanjeiguk and Yafor 2, was taking the necessary steps in order to capture the terrorists involved in the attack in Cafundó do Juta. The search started with the groups going after Han immigrants in Yafor 2, and relating their data with the data of the accused of being Mujeongbu terrorists. The investigations seemed to be running in satisfactory speed. It was time to take the next step.

A well-decorated room, with a round table in its centre. Near the table, five chairs, the perfect place for an important meeting. The people involved in the meeting were: Generals Braga Nunes and Gabriel Arcoverde from the Cafundelense army, the Yaforite agent Rasadi Mehron, the Daehanjeiguk agent Seo Yeongsan and the Captain Herod Ilmar, from the local police.

The issue was just one: what to do now? The first phase of the operation was successful. While the Yaforite agents controlled the borders and stopped possible terrorists from leaving the country, the Cafundelense group went after the Han immigrants from the list, visiting them in their addresses and sending them to the Daehanjeiguk agents. Then, the Han agents compared their data with the data of the Mujeongbu terrorists. No one was captured, all of the immigrants taken were just common people. But it made the search easier, as some people from the list didn't live in the address given (one was even a landfill, and other a stripclub). Yeongsan started to talk:

SY - "We didn't find twelve people from that list... this without counting the ones that we know that are dead, of course..."

BN - "So, at least probably, there are twelve terrorists hiding here in Yafor two.."

RM - "If this is true, we need to get them as faster as possible. Who knows if they are planning another attack or something like that?"

HI - "We can stay calm about this issue. The police is controlling the traffic of the people, they won't be able to leave this country."

RM - "Maybe they can direct their attacks to Yafor two if they notice that they can't escape."

SY - "I don't believe that this will happen, agent. The Mujeongbu know that if they make an attack here, they'll be easily spotted. They know that three groups of agents are going after them, they are trying to hide, not to appear for our eyes."

GA - "That's right. But, anyway, I don't believe they'll hide from us for much longer. We went after all the immigrants from that list, and now we have twelve people that can be the terrorists. All the data from them is in the list, even photos and DNA samples."

BN - "Yes, and although they can send false addresses and other info, it'd be very difficult for them to fake the photos and the DNA samples. This is the info necessary to get them."

RM - "So what do we do now? We have only the photos and the DNA, the addresses and names were false. We don't have the necessary info to go after them, only to prove who they are if we capture them."

BN - "You're correct. It'll be difficult to find them."

GA - "But we need to continue with the searches. I'm sure that there are some places more suspicious. We should go in these places looking for the terrorists."

SY - "Yes, General. But I think that they are in trouble now. It isn't easy to hide when you have a different ethnic type than the citizens of the country. If we put warnings in newspapers and in the television with the photos of these terrorists, someone will recognize them and call us."

BN - "This is a good plan. We'll do it and continue our searches, they can't hide for much longer."

HI - "The police will continue controlling the borders. Be sure that they are still in Ajer, you'll get them."

Three groups after the terrorists. They cannot escape.

SAYINGS OF THE DESERT FATHERS

On Fortitude

Following the Archregimancy's unexpected 2-0 victory over Bostopia, which sent the squad through to the second round for the first time since World Cup 32, Anthony was asked whether the monks new-found success had gone to their heads, and how their present success compared to the nation's recent footballing travails.

He replied, "When the devil does not use the goad of footballing failure to tempt us, he uses success for the same purpose. When he cannot win through the scorn and mockery of the opposing crowds, he tries praise and flattery in these press conferences. If he cannot win by giving us health and strength on the field, then he tries illness. If he cannot win by the comfort of the squad's hotel, he tries to ruin the souls of my squad by vexations that tempt them to act against their monastic vows. He inflicts severe sicknesses on people whom he wants to tempt and so makes them weak, and thereby shakes the love they feel towards God.

Perhaps few of you know that both Rufinius and Poeman came down with food poisoning last night. Their bodies were shattered, they were running a high temperature, and thirsting unbearably, and they endured all this knowing that they were unworthy sinners; they remembered the punishments of the next world, the everlasting fire, the torments of judgement. Therefore they did not fail on the pitch the next day, scoring a goal each, and rejoiced because God had visited them. They kept repeating the famous text from the Psalms: 'The Lord hath chastened and corrected me: but he hath not given me over unto death.'

Is not iron cleaned of rust by fire? If you are righteous, you grow to a higher sanctity, whether your squad plays well and succeeds, or plays poorly and suffers. When a messenger from Satan is given to you to be a thorn in the flesh - as indeed so many biased anti-Orthodox referees have done over the last five or six tournaments - you should lift up your heart, for you have received a gift like that of St. Paul. When we suffered on the pitch in the past, our squads would remember the text of Scripture, 'We went through fire and water,' and 'thou broughtest us out into a place of rest.' Once you have overcome suffering, as my lads have indeed done this tournament, you may expect rest, provided you are following what is good. Even when we win, we cry aloud the prophet's words, 'I am poor and destitute and in misery.'

The threefold suffering that the Archregimancy has faced in recent Cups has undoubtedly improved our play this tournament. Does not Scripture say 'Thou hast set me at liberty when I was in trouble.' So our new-found self-discipline on the pitch has helped us overcome all opponents, whether visible on the pitch, or the invisible forces of Satan. Still, it is surely a pity about Bostopia, for I would have preferred them to go through instead of those sinful, stealing, naked dwarves."

The assembled press were amazed at this reply, for never had they heard Anthony sound so excited, or give such a long-winded speech.

The FFSA files documentation showing that Sel Appa does indeed still exist, contrary to the beliefs of the hosts and petitions for a removal of the unfair 80 point penalty prior to the Round of 16 so that Sel Appa may participate as they so deserve.

RP Cut-off for the Second Round - Ad'ihan


Your Scores are here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13815386&postcount=24)

QBC WORLD CUP XLI COVERAGE

"Hello all, I'm Beck Davidham, We here at QBC are here to cover the Qazox-Cafundéu at Stade Aéroport, Airport City, Grand Island. This will mark the first OctoFinal appearance for the Phoenix in the World Cup, while Cafundéu has been a frequent visitor to the knockout stages. Will Cafundéu's experience carry them, or will Qazox' miracle run continue fro at least one more match?

The referees are ready, the anthems have been played, and we're ready to go!"

<Match fast Forward>
"Almost 30 minutes in, still no score, but the Phoenix are on the attack, lead by Wesley Teahen, who is making his first start ever in this critical match. Teahen throws in to Cruz-Preli, over to Jaus, and she sends it forward for Valladores and GOOOOOOALLL! Renna Valladores makes it 1-0 Qazox as she beat Moisés on the high right side, a difficult shot for the left-footed player, but somehow Valladores got it through for the goal. "

<Match fast Forward>
"Early on here in the second half, still 1-0 Qazox and they are angling for a second one here as Valladores sets up for a corner kick here, from the near side. She sends it high and GOOOOOAL! Anderson Tarricone managed to get just enough of his head on it, and once again the 6' 5" tall Tarricone pays off on a corner kick. Now Qazox has a bit of breathing room as its 2-nil, but there is still almost 40 minutes of play left, and Cafundéu is a second half team."

<Match fast Forward>
"70th minute here, and Cafundéu has spent most of the past 15 minutes in the offensive zone but the defense of Shillingford and Heberly have kept them off the board so far, and Goolden has made 3 great saves on point-blank shots. Silveira has the throw in and sends it to Augusto César, and Silveria and Heberly are shoving each other now, over who knows what, the referee is stepping in between them and shows each a yellow card. Heberly is lucky that he didn't get a red for starting that, but those two have been ready to throw down all night."

<Match fast Forward>
"Cafundéu is now lined up for a corner kick, to be taken by Moreira, sends it in, and it's now 2-1 Qazox as Fabrício bicycles it right past Goolden, who had no chance at stopping at as the ball was expertly placed just over her head. Now with 15 minutes left, Cafundéu is still alive and can Qazox hold on?"

<Match Finish>
"Qazox' miracle World Cup run is now into the round of 8, as they stave off a late furious run by Cafundéu to hold on 2-1. Just how far can this team go? Up next for them is Starblaydia, but the location has not been determined yet. So stay tuned to QBC and until the quarterfinals, we bid you adieu."

We have other Ad'ihan OctoFinal scores, and here they are:
Valanora 1-1 Milchama (2-1 AET)
Zwangzug 0-1 Starblaydia
Ad'ihan 1-1 Vephrall (1-1 AET) (4-2 on penalty kicks)

QuarterFinal matchups: (locations TBD)
Vephrall v. Valanora
Starblaydia v. Qazox


And the match summary for all:
Goal: (Qazox)- Renna Valladores 29'
Goal: (Qazox)- Anderson Tarricone 51'
Cafundéu Silveira- 71'
Qazox Russ Heberly- 71'
Goal: (Cafundéu) Fabrício 75'

WORLD CUP STATISTICS:
Goals:
Kallie Jaus- 2
Anderson Tarricone- 2
Renna Valladores- 2
Raul de Olivares- 1

Bookings:
Reyes- 1 Red (Missed Cafundeu Match)
Reyes- 1 Yellow
Stasinos- 1 Yellow
Heberly- 1 Yellow

QUALIFYING STATISTICS:
Goals:
Kallie Jaus- 5 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 4
Renna Valladores- 4
Raul de Olivares- 2
Stevie Spingler
Charles Marquis (1 PK)
Letta Smicht
Willow Farmwald

Bookings:
Spingler- 1 RED (missed the 2nd Zwangzug match)
Shillingford- 1 Yellow
Stasinos- 1 Yellow
Reyes- 1 Yellow
Heberly- 1 Yellow
de Olivares- 1 Yellow
Valladores- 1 Yellow

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 41 COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

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LOSS DESTROY COUNTRY’S HOPES – CCFM FIRES SODRÉ

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/6926/imagemformai1.jpg
Cafundéu's line-up shown before the start of the game

After qualifying to the second round of the World Cup without losses in a difficult group with Valanora and Jeruselem, the supporters from the country were confident that the team could continue the good campaign, this time playing against Qazox. The opponents weren’t an easy team to beat, but the motivation was high. But things didn’t happen like expected. Qazox seemed to predict the Monopolists’ moves and seemed prepared to play against us, in a great tactical performance that surprised the Cafundelenses. The coach Rivaldo Sodré even tried to make changes, but it was too late. The Monopolists couldn’t react and lost the game, which brought sadness to the whole country. This is an interesting fact, as the supporters who seemed to not believe in the loss were the same that didn’t believe in the country’s qualification earlier.

Things didn’t seem okay since the beginning of the game, when Qazox’s players started to intercept many passes made by the talented Cafundelense midfielders, and seemed to know where to attack, finding many breaches in Cafundéu’s defence, which was clearly one of the best of the entire World Cup. The Monopolists even had some opportunities, but they were easily stopped by the goalkeeper Goolden or by the defenders. The most dangerous chance came from Flecha, who received a pass from Augusto César and shot to the goal. The ball hit the post and then the defence cleared the danger. Then, after the middle of the half, Qazox’s strategy resulted in goals. Stasinos made a long pass directly to Jaus, who dribbled Gaëif and shot with strength to score the first goal. Later, Jaus received crossing from Cruz-Preli and headed to score the second. The first half ended 2x0 to Qazox.

When the teams returned to the second half, it was clear that all the confidence and motivation on the Monopolists was gone. Now the qualification was seen as a miracle, as Qazox’s tactics were working, while Sodré was really struggling in correcting the problems in Cafundéu. The grey shirt also wasn’t bringing luck. But, surprisingly, Cafundéu seemed ready to react in the second half, and scared the goalkeeper Goolden in the first minute. Silveira took the ball near the entrance of the area and shot with strength. The ball hit the post. Cafundéu pressed, but Qazox nearly made the advantage higher in the eleventh minute. Springler took the ball from Moreira, dribbled two players and shot, sending the ball wide. But the Monopolists really returned better, and scored near the middle of the half. Da Silva received ball from Alex, dribbled two opponents, the goalkeeper and entered inside the goal with the ball. Unfortunately, Cafundéu started to have difficulties again after the goal, and had to defend from many Qazox attacks. Some players even tried to score but, in the last minutes, it was Qazox which was closer to score. When the Bazalonian referee ended the game, the result was 2x1. To Qazox. Defeated in tactics? This is something that Cafundelenses can’t admit, as the coaches are excellent tacticians. So, the CCFM fired Rivaldo Sodré 1 second after the end of the game.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT (Da Silva’s goal): “Ball in the Cafundelense defence, Silveira makes a pass to Alex who now is alrrrrrready in the midfield. Good pass to Da Silva, no one is marrrrrking him, he turrrrrrns left and faces Crrrrruz-Prrrrreli, nice drrrrrribble, now faces Evelo alrrrrrready in the opponent’s defence... another drrrrrribble! Goes after the goalkeeper too... a thirrrrrrd drrrrrrrribble, amazing! Is going to scorrrrrre... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! See the rrrrrreplay of this magnificent individual play with me! Da Silva, number seven! Cafundéu one, Qazox two! Want the grey shirrrrrrrt being used by the Cafundelense team in this Worrrrrrrld Cup? This and otherrrrrrrs you can buy by internet on Edirrrrrrraf.com! Don’t forrrrrrget also to check our domestic teams shirrrrrrrts on Penal.com!”

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: confidence destroyed. Most of players didn’t want even to comment about this game, as the whole country was supporting them on it. The coach, Rivaldo Sodré, knew that he was going to be fired (in fact when he gave the interview he had already been fired), and told the media: “I’m not the coach of the National Team anymore. It was a good game by Qazox, and we lost. These things happen, and I can’t say much more.” Rumours say that the next coach will probably be Eduardo Bosschaart from Cafundó do Juta. About other comments, the new captain Alex said: “It’s really sad to see this World Cup ending for us. I’m sure that, for some players, this is an even worse feeling, as they probably won’t have another chance, and I think that I will. Two years is a long time, but it’ll pass and we’ll get ready for another attempt.”

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/3886/imagemformsyc5.jpg
Replay of a Qazox chance in the first half

CAFUNDÉU 1x2 QAZOX

Place: Stade Aéroport, in Airport City.
Attendance: 55,000 people.
Referee: Frank Mulletznorf (Bazalonia).
MOTM: Kallie Jaus (Qazox).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Vasco, Alex and Gaëif; Silveira (Valtinho 80’), Da Silva, Augusto César and Moreira (Tobias 63’); Flecha, Fabrício and Rubiano (Careca 45’).
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/qazox.png QAZOX: Goolden; Stasinos, Shillingford, Heberly and Evelo; Teahen (Harmond 70’), Cruz-Preli and Springler; Jaus, Valladores (Higgens 68’) and Tarricone (Farmwald 68’).
Coach: Ryan Greenley.

Goals:CAF: Da Silva 68’.
QAZ: Jauz 30’/34’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers (WC Proper):

7- Flecha
5 (1)- Augusto César
4 (1)- Fabrício
3- Moreira
2- Silveira, Alex, (1) Da Silva
1- Rubiano, Valtinho, Marcelo Rocha

Zero is not considered a number by many civilizations. The Bora of Martelion have a most intricate system that includes infinity scrapers, with numbers divided into realms, legions and battalions, so that even the most dizzyingly high concepts can be brought under control with just a few symbols. However they refuse to countenance zero as having any numerate value as division by such ends in infinity - and as infinity cannot ever be reached the Bora consider it a godless abomination.

Whereas the more primitive Sebuli of Daramou V simply distinguish between "one", "two" and "many", with zero just essentially being a verbal prefix to denote the absence of something.

Whereas zero is considered a valid mathematical concept by most, not all philosophical systems use it as a number per se. Negative numbers are considered by the Thamulas of Dodench as the same as positive numbers, just of a different "colour", but zero is known as "Judge" as it mediates between them. And in the Mermolian language spoken on Vareno IV a different verbal component is used when zero is included in a sentence compared to other numbers.

The Golinda of Torosik abhor zero as taboo. Whenever it is required in a mathematical problem they refer to "the ghost". And the philosopher Zerelindas of Habrotonon was executed because he claimed that the state of zero was the purest form - and consequently dedicated his life to the destruction of matter.

"Something from nothing" is also a chief philosophy of Hacker of Wentland, although since his deposition this theorem was proved in a world cup group when a goalless draw put Wentland through by a scant point. Although "nothing from nothing" would be appropriate in a one goal defeat which does indeed provide nothing.

The doors of the abandoned factory were the final frontier. The officers of the Cafundelense army were ready to enter, and to finally finish their mission. Inside the building that once was used for the production of toilet paper, eleven terrorists are hiding from the ones that are chasing them: army officers from Cafundéu and elite agents from both Daehanjeiguk and Yafor 2. Now, all the three teams are in this operation, each of them in one of the doors of the factory (there are three too), closing all the possible exits for the terrorists. They cannot escape.

But how did they discover the Mujeongbu hideout? Well, Seo Yeongsan said the correct thing. It'd be difficult for the terrorists to not be recognized by someone when their photos appeared in all the major newspapers of Yafor 2. Just two days after, a person called the Yaforite police and said that one of the terrorists was seen shopping on a supermarket in a very distant place from the centre of Ajer. This person followed the terrorists, and found the hideout: an abandoned toilet paper factory.

Soon, the three groups of agents were already there, ready to invade. General Gabriel Arcoverde even found a body, of one of the terrorists, which was placed near a river. He probably was killed when trying to give up from the terrorist activities, but we'll never know the truth.

Time for action. The three groups invade the building at the same time, five terrorists are surprised by the action of the agents, being captured without resistance. Six remain. One appears shooting at the direction of the Cafundelense army group, and ends being killed. Then, one terrorist appears running at the direction of the Yaforite agents, carrying a bomb, being helped by other two that are shooting behind him. These two are killed, and, before the first terrorist can activate the bomb, he is shot by a Yaforite. The other two don't appear. It's time to go after them.

They reach the upper level of the factory, and the last two Mujeongbu are there. One is a very strong one, and starts shooting as soon as the agents reach the place, killing two Han agents and one of the Cafundelense soldiers. General Braga Nunes is the one that kills him before he can do more harm. The other terrorists is unarmed. He is the leader. He takes the gun from his dead partner and kills himself. All the information about the attacks in Cafundéu goes away with him.

The mission was concluded. Yafor 2 was free of Mujeongbu, the ones that attacked Cafundéu.

So it was not to be in the end. On home soil at the Protectorate Stadium in front of all their home fans, Ad’ihan held a surprisingly effective Vephrall team to a 1-1 draw for nearly 90 minutes, with both teams having scored early on.

Luke Evans has never been lucky with penalty shootouts; this one was no different, with the hosts unceremoniously dumped out of the cup after just four kicks. Francis Yang led the shootout off by sidefooting the ball past the goalkeeper, but a miss by second taker George Connor and a brilliant save from fourth taker Jake Holmes' kick meant that all Vephrall's Jehoepe Pasarap needed to do would be to score his spot kick.

At this point in time, history scholars will take you back in time. Back to when Ad’ihan was still a part of Liverpool England and when Vephrall — managed by Bedistani Parker Law — did not exist. Liverpool England, playing away in Law's native country, faced Bedistan in the final of World Cup 8 and won, starting a series of matches in which the two teams went in as rivals. Bedistan finally got their revenge in World Cup 23, dumping Liverpool England out in the second round.

Liverpool England bit back quickly, sending Bedistan out of World Cup 24 2-1 in the quarter-finals on the way to winning their second and last World Cup title. Perhaps Bedistan got their real revenge in World Cup 26, thrashing the Terminators, as they were known, 4-1 in the final, held in what is now the Unified Capitalizt States. This scenario repeated itself a cup later, with Bedistan winning their third World Cup title over their hated rivals 3-1.

World Cup 30 would turn out to see the last meeting between the two rivals, with Bedistan again getting the upper hand against their rivals 3-2 in the semi-finals on the way to a record fourth title, a feat only other achieved by Rejistania. Liverpool England's failure to make it past the last 32 at World Cups 31 and 32, coupled with Bedistan's withdrawal from the world stage at that point before being absorbed into the UCS shortly after, signalled the end of that rivalry.

Until now, that is. Parker Law well knows the history, as will any Bedistani. No doubt he wanted to continue the streak where it left off — Bedistan won the last three meetings between the two sides. And he did, albeit only after a long and tense match in which neither side wanted to lose — nor looked like they wanted to win.

Vephrall-based Anthony Jones opened the scoring for Ad’ihan on 17 minutes but Pasarap equalised barely 15 minutes later from a solid downward header from a well-worked set piece. And so it stayed that way until Pasarap stepped up to the penalty spot over 90 minutes later with the chance to send Vephrall through as 4-2 shootout winners.

A quick dummy left Martin Kawn sprawled to the right of the goal, leaving an empty left of the goal for Pasarap to tap into. And, just split-seconds later, the Vephrall bench erupted, while Parker Law sat there silently. The Ad’ihani bench — and three-quarters of the stadium — did the same. Just, one feels, with vastly different emotions.

This is the second round RP cut-off for all remaining teams.

Second-round scores and quarter-final matchups and stadia now found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13816225&postcount=25).

"Damn"

"Yep"

"Well that's what happens when you have a banana for a goalie, and three pictures for your starting forwards"

"Yep"

"Let's hope that next cup nothing crazy happens"

"Yep"

"Is that all you can say?"

"Yep"

"Cool"

"So what do we do now?"

"Hey you said something else! Well we still need to find this witch doctor and AOCAF, Tennis championships and Rugby are all on so lots to do"

"Excellent back to Milchama"

"Damn"

"Yep"

Minute fifty-three. The Stade des Îles held more than twice as many fans as Stade Aéroport had: this was the capital itself. Ad'ihan, Ad'ihan, its repetition nearly hypnotic. There was no score, though it had been a hard-fought game. Though Starblaydia were truly outclassing Zwangzug, neither side had managed to break through.

Then young Jaime Kuu saw an opening. Dashing across the field, he deftly won the ball away from Eddie and dribbled back forward. A quick, precise, pass, and Lubii was in possession. The striker acutely navigated forward and shot for goal, and the shot was good. One-nil Starblaydia.

There was no rallying back, despite the efforts, and the Zwangzug team was all too soon trudging off the pitch. Eddie was drained emotionally as well as physically: he felt as if he should be feeling more, the pangs of defeat hitting that much harder, but there was nothing left.

Or so he thought. Natalie, the traditional bastion of exhaustion, seemed irritated without knowing why. Squinting at her cell phone, she looked at the result in back from Airport City. "Qazox beat Cafundéu?"

And then he felt a different emotion: a sort of indignance.

Natalie awkwardly approached coach Mcgimpy. "I...I've learned a lot from you," she said truthfully. "Thanks."

They stiffly shook hands. "You're welcome, Instonenext."

A curious expression was etched on her face as she left, and she tried to freeze it for a while.

The team scattered, and Andrew went to Daehanjeiguk, dizzily disembarking not to watch the rest of the cup, but rather to continue playing for Joseon. They were below the division cut at the time, but there was plenty of time left. Especially with the Han time-dilation policies, which kept him young enough to return for World Cup 42.

He would be the oldest by several cups, and only Brendan would be left of the 37 entrants. The shock run to the World Cup 36 semifinals had inspired many new players, though some, like Megan, hadn't immediately joined.

So. Captain too, probably. He knew power well enough to understand how much its actuality outranked appearance, but there wasn't anything wrong with it. One more time. One more chance.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Just to add to the confusion, Sel Appa's independent-nation status was re-confirmed the night before this second-round match. Sel Appan flags mingled with Kura-Pellandi flags throughout the city of Jinhwangdo for much of the day, as the team rallied against their exclusion by cheering the opponents of the team who snuck through at their expense. With Kura-Pelland adopting a similar line from an opposite perspective, there was a real sense of justice to be done.

If there wasn't enough of that already, there was plenty more in the 98th minute, after Kura-Pelland had twice come back from behind to take the game to extra-time. Danny Ibbetson, marauding forward with a purpose that mostly comes from being played out of position for a season in the CMSC, was taken out of position but appeared to just about get a cross in with the ball still on the line, or at least not all over it. Chenoweth's header did not make it 3-2, for the goal was disallowed and a goal kick awarded. Replays showed the ball did not cross the line before Ibbetson's cross.

Now there was a huge sense of injustice. Even some of the Bazalonian fans seemed to want their team to lose. The team themselves were unaffected and twice hit the crossbar, as did Norbert Fiero at the other end in the 118th minute, but kicks from the penalty mark - such is the pedantic term - was a procedure destined to decide this, it seemed.

Everett Kang, famed for his precision shooting, predictably took the first penalty, and predictably put it right in the bottom corner. 1-0.

Norbert Fiero took the first penalty for Kura-Pelland, Joshua Kanga went to his left, Fiero's shot went the other way. 1-1.

Captain Ricky Yunn took the second Bazalonia penalty, Stephen Hill went to his right, the penalty went the other way. 2-1.

Chris Chenoweth took the second Kura-Pelland penalty, it clipped the post but went in. 2-2.

Unpredictable Henry Fjord volunteered to take the third penalty - and struck it straight at Stephen Hill. A huge roar from the crowd, now increasingly partisan thanks to events before and during this match. 2-2.

Bo Phelps took the third penalty for Kura-Pelland. The prodigious teenage defender simply smashed the ball in the general direction of the middle of the goal, and Kanga guessed wrong and dived left. 3-2.

Johnathan Kelly, the 'gangster' of the Bazalopes, took the next penalty. If this wild effort was any guide, he'd be better in a gang shootout than kicks from the penalty mark. High and wide. More roars from the crowd. 3-2.

Ibbetson was next. He had been robbed of a winning moment already. Now he had a second chance.

As if to make a point, he ran in at a steep angle, almost as if to deliver a cross.

His sidefooted effort was low and accurate, right into the bottom corner and underneath the diving Kanga, who guessed right but couldn't get down in time.

Pandemonium.

The team that had never won a World Cup finals match before have made the last eight. In a tournament of major upsets, their opponents are Yafor 2, a nation and team well-known for their influence on Parwood City, whose Yaforite defenders have proved the final element of what is now a world-class team that dominates Kura-Pellandi football. Seems a mismatch - but Kura-Pelland have now defeated three higher-ranked teams than themselves, one of them the Yaforites' ranking neighbours Quakmybush, the others top-10 teams in Demot and now Bazalonia.

Suddenly, Kura-Pelland is a country mad about its national sport. Took long enough.

"Barnes, knocking it down the wing, for Kaur - intercepted by Kuu - and Starblaydia can break away here, racing into the Zwangzug half, goes past Keller, the crowd rise rise to their feet, Kuu's at it again, here, squares it to Lubii, edge of the box, comes inside, past Maini, onto her right foot, shoots... GOAL! One-Nil! Starblaydia take the lead in the second half, here at the Stade des Îsles! Lubii's second goal of the Finals as Starblaydia take a deserved lead."

Jaime Kuu's star was in the ascendancy for certain, with the twenty-two year old proving his worth as the best thing on a Starblaydi left wing if not ever, then certainly since Rajko Dakic, who was considered perhaps the best ever. Starblaydia have had very few world beating midfield maestros on the left hand side, though the list is long and distinguished it just doesn't compare with pretty much every other position in an All-Time Starblaydi eleven. Even the two World Cup winners in that positions - Surachai Buathiang and Javi Chavez - weren't the superstars of their day. Though Buathiang once memorably scored from the halfway line, but Starblaydia's youngest ever goalscorer in Sura and a Hypocian AOCAF-winning manager in Chavez have never really cut it in the global superstar reckoning.

Rajko Dakic perhaps came closest with his Olympic Gold Medal at the age of nineteen, going ont to score 22 times in 76 appearances for his country, as well as appearing in a World Cup Final just afterwards. At the perennial Elves Security Forces Premiership club, however, Jaime Kuu has the perfect place at which to develop his game, under the perfect mentors in a side where he can actually go on to win boatloads of trophies to add to the ones already. He's has pace, power and commitment, along with a fair share of tricks and an eye not only for goal but also for that killer pass to unlock a defence and put a teammate through to score. A non-selfish wing-wizard and occasional show-pony who's an out-and-out terror down the left wing for defenders to face?

Brilliant. It's also reported that the Raynor City club shop ran out of letter Us after his wonder-goal against Ad'ihan, and not may people can say they've done that.

QSPN Soccernet.com

QuarterFinal Round Preview:
Daehanjeiguk region:
Wentland v. Capitalizt SLANI — King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira
Kura-Pelland v. Yafor 2 — Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong

Ad’ihan region:
Vephrall v. Valanora — Stade des Îles, Ad’ihan
Starblaydia v. Qazox — Tallyn Ground, Dalinn

Road to quarterfinals:
Wentland v. Capitalizt SLANI
Wentland- Wentland- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 1 (6-0-4); World Cup: 1-2-0; 1st Group A, due to Sel Appa CTE), Defeated Tynelia 1-0. Overall: 8-2-4

Capitalizt SLANI- Qualifiers: 1st Group 15 (9-0-1); World Cup: 2-1-0; 1st Group B, Defeated Az-cz 3-0. Overall: 12-1-1
Projected winner: Capitalizt SLANI

Kura-Pelland v. Yafor 2- PREDICTED MATCH OF THE ROUND
Kura-Pelland- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 2 (5-3-2); World Cup: 2-0-1; 1st Group C, Defeated Bazalonia 2-2 (4-2 PK). Overall: 8-3-3

Yafor 2- Qualifiers: 1st Group 9 (7-3-0); World Cup: 1-1-1; 2nd Group B, Defeated The Archregimancy 4-3. Overall: 9-4-1
Projected winner: Yafor 2 on PK

Vephrall v. Valanora
Vephrall- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 13 (6-1-3); World Cup: 1-0-2; 2nd Group G, Defeated Ad'ihan 1-1 (4-2 PK). Overall: 8-1-5

Valanora- Qualifiers: 1st Group 14 (9-1-0); World Cup: 2-1-0; 1st Group F, Defeated Milchama 2-1 (AET). Overall: 12-2-0
Projected winner: Valanora

Starblaydia v. Qazox
Starblaydia- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 12 (6-2-2); World Cup: 0-3-0; 2nd Group E, Defeated Zwangzug 1-0. Overall: 7-5-2

Qazox- Qualifiers: 2nd Group 7 (6-4-0); World Cup: 2-1-0; 1st Group H, , Defeated Cafundeu 2-1. Overall: 9-5-0
Projected winner: Qazox

Qazox v. Starblaydia All-Time Record (Qazox leads 3-1-2)
3rd Draggonnii Inviyattii (MD3) Starblaydia 3-0 (@ ASMV)
4th Draggonnii Inviyattii (MD2) Starblaydia 4-0 (@ ASMV)
World Cup 31 Qualifying (MD5) Qazox 2-1 @ Qazox
World Cup 31 Qualifying (MD14) Qazox 2-0 @ Starblaydia
World Cup 39 Qualifying (MD4) 0-0 @ Starblaydia
World Cup 39 Qualifying (MD11) Qazox 2-1 @ Qazox

"Heh, what have you found there, fforbes?"

"Another cuneiform document, sir. There's quite a few at this level of excavation."

"Let's have a look...yes, pretty standard Akkadian, you think?"

"It makes sense. This seems to be the Akkadian Treasury, all sorts of objects from Akkad here. We need to do the chemical analysis to see whether it's local clay or whether they brought the stuff here."

"There does seem to have been a lot of trade at this early date, fforbes. Does this advance us any further?"

"Not sure, sir. My cuneiform reading is a bit rusty, I'm more the ceramics chap."

"Right you are...let's see what this says. You see this cartouche, fforbes?"

"Yes, sir."

"That encloses a name. Significant, it seems to have been adopted from Egyptian practice, which dates it to no later than 3rd phase city-building..."

"Indeed, sir. That's consistent with the pottery finds, anyway."

"Excellent. Well, it's a fairly standard contractual document, there's a sale of some goods to a chap..."

"What sort of goods?"

"Hold on, this is a bit more interesting. It's actually a court report!"

"Really?"

"Yes, it appears that there was a dispute over the quality of some of the cattle being shipped under the contract. The purchaser, Uenn-tilanda, brought proceedings right here to seek redress."

"How interesting! At this early stage?"

"Yes, it pushes back the judiciary here some thousand years perhaps, we need to check to see whether this didn't get translated down the archives by mistake."

"What was the end result, then, sir?

"The purchaser obtained redress. See this at the bottom? It marks who won. Uenn-tilanda has the figure for one next to his name, this mark for zero is next to Tain-elya's name, that must have been the seller."

"So the claim was successful?"

"Evidently, yes. No grounds for appeal, I trust."

"That would be another story, sir!"

Journal Entry 07/24/20,009 ~ Laborious Hawk

Once again does this coalition of remarkable footballers who just happen to have been born inside three pieces of land find itself in the quarterfinals of the most beloved and historic tournament in the world. Once again we have faced trials and tribulations abound, both from inside our ranks and from outside forces. And once again we have persevered through such troubles to find a certain amount of propsierity and glory. It is through these obstacles and success that I have been able to call each and every member of this squad a friend, a title that is not easily given out. What's more is that my very good friend in Kiso Night has just been signed by Cafundeu giants, Petardos S/A, my own club. It brings me a great comfort to know that the youngin is trying to move forward after the devestation that has been brought upon our homeland. With him and his dear wife living just a few houses down from me and Fresco, I'll be able to keep an eye on the little bugger and give him some help anytime he wants it.

Speaking of those terrible times of two years past, I find myself still very troubled that such an event can occur with soo little warning. My faith in the goddess Elune and her promises to us, her own race, have been shaken to the core, despite her sending the legendary hero to our aid. I know that we are ever striving to be as pure as she was in her mortal life, but I am concerned that all her time as a diety might of corrupted her judgement or made her complacent. While I do still believe that she has our best interests at heart, I can not shake the feeling that she is up to something and could so easily been made blind to the threat that destroyed my homeland.

I recieved a wonderful little gift from a friend of mine in Char Sara yesterday. She somehow aquired a blue dragon's egg and sent it to me. I was completely astonished to have recieved such a gift to be sure, and it's quite an honor. Usually the blueflight is left to roam the wild, protecting various places of magical importance and keeping the peace between the redflight and the blackflight. So to have one of these majestic creatures as a pet, it brings me a pride that can only be compared to becoming a parent I dare say. I sent it to my home in Cafundeu, hopefully it will not hatch until I have made it back and can take care of it.

Up next in this ongoing football saga is a match up with the good people of Vephrall. I've met a few of them and they are among the nicest and most honorable people that grace this tournament with thier presence. It is truely a shame that we must face them this round and not in one of the upcoming two rounds, as then it would be more fitting for wonderful nations and squads such as ours. As it is, I look to lead the team against them here and now, and with a tad of luck, we'll net ourselves another victory. It would mean wonders for me and for the people back home if we were somehow able to make a return trip to the final and win it. What that would do for the spirit of the country can not be put into words. So here I am, a single elf in a coalition of excellent friends looking to capture the imagination of a country, of the world, and make it just a little better. After all, can we do any more than that in this dream we call life?

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc40/
AEROPAG, JI · 2150–07–25 · 0.10 g Au

World Cup: Alesanka under fire despite success
PRONTERA, NM—It’s been full steam ahead for the Capitalizts since their opening-match draw against the blancmanges, winning three games on the trot by a combined score of 8–0. But according to Prontera insiders, World Cup–winning manager Alfreda Alesanka (who has also bagged fifteen trophies for club side Yuba United) may not be safe.

“That lady needs to get a hold of herself,” said one anonymous board member. “ ‘[They] don’t have the balls to be running a competition of this scale’? Not appropriate press conference material. Especially not when I’ve got a perfectly good prototype of an artificial football manager.” The board member would not provide any details of his ‘artificial football manager,’ but did allow us to publish a screenshot of a beta version of the program.

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/matchsummary/wc41fmsmall/com/acz/
full size (http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/matchsummary/wc41fm/com/acz/)

“Computer-managed teams are so last century,” said prominent pundit Randolf Cajet. “If anything, the fans should be put in charge of the team. We could vote on squad selection, substitutions, and a host of other issues.” Cajet seemed unaware that such a scheme had been tried before with New Lexington United in the old Bluefox Axtra League, purchased by myfootballclub.ucs, and was widely believed to be responsible for the club’s infamous run of over a hundred games without a win.

In any case, it is expected that a decision on Alesanka’s future will be put off until after the World Cup is completed, in order to demoralize the squad with speculation and ensure that they do not play their best in the remaining matches.

Whatever result we got against Zwangzug, it would have been an emotional comedown from the 1-1 draw against Krytenia. The all-out balls-to-the-wall ferocity of that match is rarely equalled in the international game, even when such things as progression in the world Cup are at stake. Even so, Starblaydia's game really came together and most of the time you wondered which team was 10th in the world and which was 27th. Lubii's solitary goal was mere evidence of that fact.

Starblaydia must be getting back to where they belong, evidently. Curent top-scorer Lubii could make the legends-only Rapaii 15 club three times over already, as at the age of twenty-six she has forty-seven goals, leaping into jpoint-third place on the all-time scorers list alongside Johan Keifner. One more and it'll be the top three strikers in Starblaydi history are women - something for those of us with a Y chromosome to think about. Both Perheira and Alfonso Di Angelo have broken the all-time appearance record - 97 set by Paul Noble around the time when Starblaydia were still a name to make every team in the world quake in their boots. All-time records don't just get broken every day of the week and for this Starblaydi side, coached first by Betanii Marrones and now taken on to the next level by Lex Panarii, the pantheons of achievement now have new names to honour among their aged hallways. A new record victory - set in a few years after a new record loss - shows how cutthroat international football has become. No stealing a goal and holding on for the one-nil is good enough anymore, it has to be 100% effort 100% of the time.

In the aftermath of Under-21, Baptism of Fire, World Cup and Cups of Harmony being hosted in Starblaydia the national game has taken on a new verve and vigour, a shot in the arm that has propelled a once down-and-out nation back into the top twenty in the world and the top five in the region. After a third place at the last AOCAF and a Quarter-Final in just their second World Cup back in the international fold, Starblaydia's reputation as one of the foremost sporting nations in the world has surely gone most of the way to restoring itself. Reputations, however, are not made from breaking internal records, they are made from taking international trophies; regional and world. Starblaydia have to start here by overcoming their recent defeats to Qazox, who strangely enough are the one team recently who have had the knack of beating the white and purples. Should that come to pass then a re-match with reigning World Champions Valanora is in the offing, perhaps some modicum of revenge for the 39th World Cup thrashing. Qazox, followed by Valanora, then - dream beyond dreams - the Final itself? As always, it will be a tough road to the gold medals and silverware, but when in Starblaydi history have we had things easy? Starblaydia will play as they always do: with pace, power and commitment, along with all the other intangibles that make up their style. Fair play, passion, desire, determination and a sense of adventure and destiny that no other nation in the world seems to take hold of with quite the same enthusiasm and endless love of opportunity. These are the qualities that have gained Starblaydia more international trophies than any other nation still competing today, and these are the reasons why they will once more regain their place as foremost in the world. Starblaydi always strive to be the best, to prove the grass is greener on their side of the fence, making the world step to their beat.

It has been done before, and the Gods know that it will happen again. Is Ad'ihan the place for it to begin? Only the next match, and perhaps the two after that, will be able to tell us.

Many years ago, Liverpool England v Bedistan was one of the fiercest and long-lasting rivalries on the international football scene.

Every Bedistani child was told about the infamous final of World Cup 8 (Bedistani year 2018, circa 1620 in Vephrall). Every aspiring footballer's dream was to grow up, make the Bedistan national team, and kick the slani out of Liverpool England. Bonus points if they did it in that nation.

And for a child born in the small (by Bedistani standards) city of Wisconsin Swamp some sixty years later, it was no different. Parker Matthew Law was born 25 July* 2079 (Vephrall: 1702) into a family that had its share of amateur and semi-professional footballers. His uncle played for about a season and a half in the mid-seventies at Wisconsin Swamp AFC in the Conference South (the sixth tier of the system). His grandfather played for Third Division Carbondale United from 2030 to 2034. Parker, however, far surpassed those careers, eventually playing in the short-lived Súprelige (the successor to the Bedistan Premier League) and eventually leaving to play his club ball in Milchama. He was also selected to be a part of the last few World Cup teams that Bedistan would ever field.

His career was beginning to wind down when the Bedistan Football Association ceased operations following World Cup 32 in 2114. And then several years later, the nation itself went down the tubes. Law insisted on staying in his longtime home of Hendersonburg (he moved there from Wisconsin Swamp when he was nine), which would eventually become the Northern Bettian city of Anyuna. He lived as quiet a life as it is possible to live in Northern Bettia and was completely uninvolved in football there. Some years later, though, he went on vacation to Vephrall and was surprised to suddenly receive a job offer while there, with the VFR wanting him to be assistant manager of the national team. He took the job and later ascended to the head post following the departure of Umsaasad Pentove in 1755.

Parker Law turns either 56 or 73 next month, depending on which calendar (Vephrese or Bedistani) you choose to go by. And you might ask him, "After all these years, does the hatred of Liverpool England still remain?"

And he would answer, "Yes, absolutely."

Liverpool England, or Liventia as it is now known, no longer participates in the World Cup. However, Ad'ihan, a former protectorate of theirs, does. So one might say Law had the opportunity to get his wish when his team met theirs in the second round of World Cup 41, playing in Ad'ihan, no less. "Is it the same to you?" you might ask him.

"Not quite," would be his answer, "but it's as close as I'm going to get."

Did Parker Law's childhood desire to best Liverpool England, or former territories thereof, singlehandedly produce Vephrall's penalty-shootout victory? Maybe. Maybe not. But the victory certainly came. The home fans at Protectorate Stadium were stunned into silence. Law, too, was silent. But it was that special kind of silence that comes from a particularly savory victory.

"I've done my job as a Bedistani," he would say. "But I won't stop here."

* Law still celebrates his birthday on 25 July in the Vephrese calendar, despite having absolutely no idea whether it matches up with his actual birthday.

RP CUTOFF!

http://www.xaraxone.com/webxealot/workbook59/cut-out-bevel-text-01.jpg

EGADS! THE SCORES ARE COMING! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13820847&postcount=26)

QBC WORLD CUP XLI COVERAGE

"Hello all, I'm Beck Davidham, We here at QBC are here to cover the Qazox-Starblaydia match from at Tallyn Ground, Dalinn. This will mark the first Qazox First quaterfinal, while Starblaydia, its just about a birthright for them. Can Qazox continue its winning ways against the purple and white, or will one of history's greatest teams take one more step back towards that same greatness?

The referees are ready, the anthems have been played, and we're ready to go!"

<Match fast Forward>
"And Jaus is clutching her leg as she came down hard on that jumping header attempt. The trainer is out on the pitch and MY GOD I can see the bone sticking out from her thigh. A horrid turn of events for the Phoenix just 7 minutes into the match, as Kallie Jaus, as we'll see on the replay, came down on her left leg and there you can see the leg just snap in half and part of the bone is sticking through. Jaus is done for not only this game, but for the rest of this World Cup. Raul de Olivares is coming in for Jaus, but will the loss of Qazox' main scoring threat hurt them in this game?"

<Match fast Forward>
"And the first half has ended here in Dalinn scoreless but Qazox ever since Jaus' injury in the 7th minute has appeared tentative in its play, and Starblaydia has used it to their advantage, keeping the ball for 56% and getting 6 shots on goal. And an update on Kallie Jaus, who crumpled to the ground early in the match. She has a compound fracture of the left tibia and a torn ACL and early reports are saying she might not be able to play again as the ACL was almost torn in half. Hopefully the injury will be less serious than this early report may state, but for the foreseeable future, Qazox has lost one of its dyanmic offensive players."

<Match fast Forward>
"80th minute here, still scoreless. And now Erin Goolden is down after making that save on Lubii's shot. She's holding her arm, doesn't look as bad as Jaus' earlier injury but the way she is holding her arm, I believe it maybe broken. Natalie Dansen has run onto the pitch to take Goolden's place and what a way for Dansen to make her debut, the quarterfinals of the World Cup, with just 10 minutes to go."

<Match fast Forward>
"1-0 Starbalydia, as they just came right after Dansen, who's only been in the game for just over a minute. Lubii's shot just bounced right to the waiting foot of Daymon Callind and he struck it home for the lead. And can Qazox put together a late run to tie this up? They've been unusually conservative on offense since Jaus' injury but can they kick it up a notch when it is most needed?"

<Match Finish>
"Qazox' great World Cup run is now over as they lost a heartbreaker 1-0 to Starblaydia. While this run by the Phoenix was very impressive, one can only wonder if Kallie Jaus wasn't injured in the 7th minute or if Erin Goolden wasn't injured in the 80th minute, whether or not Qazox would be the team in the semifinals. But still a deep run in the World Cup and Qazox has quite possibly shed the "underachiever" label for the foreseeable future. So until the next round of World Cup qualifiers, we bid you adieu."

We have the other Ad'ihan Quarterfinal score, and here it is:
Vephrall 1-2 Valanora

Ad'ihan Semifinal matchup: (location TBD)
Valanora v. Starblaydia


And the match summary for all:
Sub- Qazox: (Raul de Olivares in for Kallie Jaus) 8'
Sub- Qazox: (Natalie Dansen in for Erin Goolden) 81'
Goal- Starblaydia: Daymon Callind 83'

Final OVERALL STATISTICS:
Goals:
Kallie Jaus- 7 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 6
Renna Valladores- 6
Raul de Olivares- 3
Stevie Spingler
Charles Marquis (1 PK)
Letta Smicht
Willow Farmwald

Bookings:
Reyes- 2 Yellows, 1 Red (missed the Cafundeu match)
Spingler- 1 Red (missed the 2nd Zwangzug match)
Stasinos- 2 Yellows
Heberly- 2 Yellows
Shillingford- 1 Yellow
de Olivares- 1 Yellow
Valladores- 1 Yellow

Nikki: Hello, this is Nikki Seabourne fron JGN! I'm with newly married Coss Cohen and Jacinta Sallad.
Jacinta: Hello! I'm so happy!
Coss: Hello folks.

Nikki: So where are you kids going for the honeymoon?
Coss: We're honeymooning in Qazox, and then coming back for our clubs.
Jacinta: I can't wait.

Nikki: Will you be watching the World Cup results?
Coss: Of course, we'll be cheering on the Frenchie or Jewish team.
Jacinta: With Qazox and Milchama out, we'll be looking for another team to support.

Nikki: So, what are you two going to do before the next cup.
Coss: Raising a family. My mother wants some grandkids to fight over.
Jacinta: They are our kids, not her kids.

Nikki: Now, is this fad where Jeruselem World Cup players are sleeping with other unique to us or just something that happens.
Coss: Look at the girls in the Jeruselem team, one cannot say there's no tempation there.
Jacinta: He just got me because Flak got Jacinta Dallas but that's fine by me.

Nikki: Are you going to the World Cup 41 final?
Coss: No, too far to travel and it'd stuff up our new travel plans.
Jacinta: We'll just watch it on TV.

Nikki: I heard there's a new song coming up for you Jacinta.
Coss: It's actually not a new song.
Jacinta: It's a cover of Aqua's barbie girl called Dallas Girl. Me and Jacinta Dallas will be bouncing around the screen like ... dolls, in pink.

Nikki: Same lyrics?
Coss: No they changed a few things.
Jacinta: Still, you'll work out it's still a cover.

Nikki: Coss, I thought you wanted a smart Jewish girl - not a Catholic bimbo.
Coss: Well, you can't be too choosy. Since Kara Kool and Jacinta Dallas are married - I had to grab someone.
Jacinta; He's really good at grabbing

Nikki: So, Kate Dallas still single ... and so it Marie. They running out of time?
Coss: Marie's only 18 and I'm sure Kate can get any man she wants.
Jacinta: There's a big market out there ... Kate will not have issues

Nikki: Any more messages.
Jacinta: I know the Jeru FC team couldn't be here for the wedding due to the Cup of Harmony especially Captain Sadie Dallas who loves a wedding. We wish them well.
Nikki: You think they can make next World Cup finals?
Jacinta: Only God or that Maggie knows.

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/TJC.jpg
We've Got A Semi!
Starblaydia into last four

Yes, yes, it's a headline more deserving of the Daily Llama's risque tabloid jingoism, but Starblaydia's performances in getting to a Semi-Final at just their fourth attempt since returning to the international fold and starting from scratch cannot be over-emphasised. After a Baptism of Fire, an appearance in the Quarter-Finals and then a disappointing home appearance in World Cup 40 to be eliminated in the Group Stage, getting to the last four of the World Cup is an excellent achievement.

The forty-first World Cup has certainly been a tournament where the up-and-coming teams have finally proved their worth, with Starblaydia leading the charge of 'unlikely' teams like Vephrall, Qazox, Kura-Pelland, Yafor 2 and Wentland as they have made their way into the knockouts, dispatching teams of higher rank left, right and centre. There are, however, the two great big sharks in the water in the form of Valanora and CapitaliZt SLANI, and just when you thought it was safe for the little fish to go swimming in the waters of the knock-outs they are likely to come up and bite you. There would be no harsher place to find those rows of teeth imprinted on your thighs than in the Semi-Final.

Starblaydia have returned to face high-flying Valanora in the knockout stages for the second time in three Cups, though we all know what the result the last meeting produced. A Seven-One hammering for Starblaydia, their worst defeat by far in over a century of football. The sides are a little more even this time, though, and as we've seen throughout both the Qualifiers and Finals themselves, anything can happen. One of Starblaydia's greatest threats in the Semi will be Jaime Kuu, the man who plays in the Elves Securoty Forces Premiership and is widely regarded, at least within Starblaydi shores - as the most exciting young player in the world today. With his constant wing wizardry that is a combination of great acceleration, a good top speed, excellent ball control and an eye for both a killer cross and the goal itself, he intersperses key team play with individual tricks and skills to make, all in all, a massive nuisance of himself to every team he plays. The one nation who may not be entranced by his blurred white boots, however, would be the reigning World Champions and current best team in the world, Valanora. The players and fans of that nation are used to seeing Kuu week in, week out for Raynor City and they will have as good a chance as anyone of shackling the young Number Five.

The path to the Semi-Final was littered with Qazoxian bodies as two players suffered broken limbs - one of which horrifically in the seventh minute - as a match that was not short on quality ended in a one-nil victory for the men in white and purple thanks to a Daymon Callind goal. The young Iskara Daii striker has linked up well with Lubii over the course of the campaign, though their partnership hasn't been as fruitful as manager Lex Panarii would like. "What concerns me is how few goals we've scored so far. I'm very happy to have hit the back of the net in each and every game since that one-nil loss to Tynelia on Matchday One, but having two one-nil wins to get us to the Semis... we'll need more against Valanora if we are to have a real chance of making a dream final."

Starblaydia, it seems are already looking beyond Valanora to their next match. Hopefully for them it will be a World Cup Final but for a team ranked in the twenties, getting to the Third Place Play-Off would still be a remarkable achievement. Whatever happens over the next two games, Starblaydia have done their nation proud.

This is the RP cutoff for the remaining quarterfinalists.

And your results, and semi-final matchups/venues, are now posted (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13821929&postcount=27).

Valanora Express
We Make The World Go Round

For this brief moment in time, it seems to me that Vanorian talent is what fills championship winning sides. Take a moment and look at the proof I will bring before you. All three of the TakilQuip Champions' Cup winners have had at least one Vanorian on their starting eleven (Yuba United had Mars, Petardos S/A with Hawk and Fresco, and Albrecht Turkish with Soldarian). Now then, look at this tournament and you will see that six of the eight quarterfinalists, and all four of the semi-finalists have or have had their national teamers play inside the Premiership, with the SLANI federation dropping their players this time. So regardless of what happens in the upcoming four matches, it will be true enough to say that somewhere inside the country, someone will be happy.

How fitting it is then that two home based players for the Marauders would get the goals that would send our squad through to the semi-finals. The ever persistent Cristi Kries of Valanari and then the courageous Ali Alidare of Mar Sara would be the heroes of the affair. In a time of our football when the majority of the elite players are playing overseas, it is refreshing to have home grown players contributing in a huge way to the success of the side. Granted that Kries herself has spent a large portion of her career in Assegai before coming back home, and Alidare constantly being approached by foreign clubs, it is achievements like these that can make the commoner proud to be a Vanorian.

The time for these success stories is just not for the present, as you can look at the pipeline of young talent already fighting for spots on their club sides. Then you have extraordinary talents like Soler, the Night kids, and many others, and it is clear that the Vanorian star is far from reaching its’ super nova. Yet for all this, you have to wonder, where does this group of twenty-three fit in with the greatest of all time, or even in our own country. Razov is an impeccable scorer, but he is no Zacharius that can lift a dying squad on his back and snatch a victory out of nothingness. Va Drake is an absolute genius out on the wing, but Jannian was a maestro that could single-handedly dictate the pace and ferocity of a fixture. Rowell is unbelievable between the pipes, but he has neither the flair nor the poise of the St. Louis brothers. It then must be said that while this might be one of the greatest squads assembled, individually they are just a cut above good, and a shade behind great.

So I ask you, can players who are just a tad stronger than good defeat a side that has great players? Well, that is what will undoubtedly be found out in our half of the semifinals, as the Purple Peril of Starblaydia will meet the Navy Wave of Valanora, who will incidentally be wearing their white kits for the occasion. Just one look at the Starblaydi roster and you are left star-struck with names like Kuu, Di Angelo, Perheira, and Nakumura. It is a collection of great individuals who are among the best in their positions, it is them that our good side shall be vying with for a trip to the Final. To make the match even more exciting, it is the second time in three tournaments that these two sides will meet in the knockouts, the last coming in World Cup 39, where we handed the Starblaydi their worst ever defeat in the quarterfinals. Things are different now, we are not hosting this even and the Purple Peril have had almost two whole tournaments to reacquaint themselves with the international game.

When the day is done and all the players will have given their all to bring honor to their side and country, what shall be the verdict. For the winner, it will be a chance at creating a measure of history. If we were to emerge from the encounter victorious, we will have the opportunity to join a shortlist of nations that will have won a title multiple times, and to defend it as well. For our counterparts, it will be their chance at a third title, and one that will have come just four tournaments after their re-entry into international competition. I am no prophet, so I shall make no predictions on the outcome of the encounter, but I *believe* it will be an event to remember for some time. For the loser, they will have a small consolation match against whoever falls between the upstart Kura-Pelland side, and the always dangerous SLANI federation. What a tournament we have had my friends, what an amazing tournament indeed.

Valanora 2
Cristi Kries (42’)
Ali Alidare (46’)

Vephrall 1
Pembace Pinteps (13’)

Article by Ron Santapa

A draw against Kelssek had seen them go out of the tournament, the blancmanges had been in the much-desired situation of having their destiny in their own hands - not that they had hands, as such - and had ultimately failed, with a nil-nil draw giving them just a single point when they had needed three. The CapitaliZts had done their work and thrashed Yafor 2 by three goals to nil and even a solitary Holy Empire goal would have put the ancient nation through to the Second Round. Based on the run that Yafor 2 had gone on in their place, they could have been staring the possibility of a Semi-Final in the face, but not this time. Contemplating this for a moment, Simeone Di Bradini sat in his dreamed quarters, devouring his dreamed cream tea (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream_tea), and generally dreaming dreamed day-dreams of glory.

'To look at them to begin with,' he continued writing, 'they seemed more like a round coffee table in a white fabric tent than some sort of a gelatinous pudding. Eleven man-eating transreality blancmanges were in contention for the oddest World Cup team of all time, though my personal favourite was the side that produced the scoreline 'An Egg 1, NEWI Cefn Druids 0' in some Cup probably long before I was even born. The blancmanges, man-eating or otherwise, were the orders handed down through Juan Tzimisces.' Simeone had simply started referring to such orders as the 'Mysterious Ways' that the local deity was apparently supposed to move in.

'MYSTERIOUS WAYS:', he wrote for future reference, 'Sounds like an old-time comedy sketch about walking!'

Simeone wondered if the Purple Inkwell brigade had been required to sanction his use of a purple inkwell to write his memoirs. It was perfectly matched to Starblaydia's 'RAWRCRUSH' purple and it somehow seemed appropriate to be using a fountain pen and individual scrolls of paper. Doubtless somewhere this dreamed writing set would be translating it directly into a dreamed computer program so he could have it sent back to his original reality and have it published when it was all ready. My original reality?, Simeone thought, now that is a weird thing to say. He still didn't understand the nature of the existence he now found himself and it was doubtful that he ever would. Forever is, as they say, a mighty long time, but Simeone was sure he'd be unable to figure it out. Probably because he wouldn't be let in to the little God Squad club that they all seemed to be here, though it did strike him as an honour that he and the thought of his 'animalistic' beliefs would be welcome here. The more you repress something, something else that 'they' say, the more it is likely to only gain in strength. He was interrupted by a knock on his door.

"Knock knock?" the familiar voice of Juan Tzimisces gently pushed open the unlocked front door, "what's my old friend doing inside on a day when his Sky God has displayed for us such a glorious vista?"

He never said it with any spite, Simeone noted, bringing up his differing religious background always marked him out as different, but it was never done in a way that sounded unkind or mocking. Perhaps Juan just thought that Simeone genuinely believed that his Sky God set the sky each day, Wind God set the winds, Football God decided the football pools, and so forth. Quite blatantly Simeone didn't think that, but you never know the mind of someone else. If there was a World Cup of Being Enigmatic then the Frosticans would take the Championship every time. Besides, he knew his old friend wasn't adverse to his occasional polytheistic blaspheming, just as long as he didn't do it loudly enough for any monks to hear.

"In here, Juan," Simeone called, beckoning his friend to enter his study, "just continuing my diary, collating the memoirs, that sort of thing. Will there be enough room in my brain to fit all my future memories? I was having enough trouble before with a hundred and twenty years, and you've got at least double that in your noggin."

Juan gave his little half-smile and was about to answer, but Simeone stopped him in his tracks.

"If you mention 'plucking Time's arrow' again," he warned, "I'm going to have panna cotta for lunch."

"The Blancmanges were chosen by HEFA," Juan replied, following the change of subject and fluidly moving up a gear onto the implied topic of the Holy Empire Football Association as naturally as breathing, "and that's all we need to know. Those 'Mysterious Ways' of yours are just the way the various Ministries understand your reality."

"But mine is fairly obvious," Simeone countered, "physical reality and all that. Einstein, Hawking, Oprah, Newton and all that lot."

"Obvious to you, perhaps," Juan said, walking around the room and talking with his hands, "but take the nature of the reality you're in now, that pen in your hand, for instance. Looks to you like a pen, doesn't it? But it's not made out of metal, it's made from thoughts. Things that you can only comprehend in your own mind, and barely well enough at that- no offence," he quickly said, "you as a species, along with Dwarves, Elves and the rest."

"None taken."

"To the dreamers this pen is made of thought and whim and imagination, it is as real as they know it to be" he continued, "presenting the people of the DR with an actual pen as you know it would be mind-blowing, particularly for those un-used to your... more 'physical' reality. Anything that can be dreamed can be real here, from shimmering golden spires to aging footballers, from pantheons of the Gods to fountain pens and then to football-playing blancmanges."

"You mean," Simeone said, trying to keep a straight face, "that I can dodge bullets?"

"Why-ever would someone be shooting at you, dear boy?"

"Never mind," Simeone wondered if it was time to get a bit more Starblaydi culture in the Dreamed Relam, "what brings you here, my friend?"

"Starblaydia-Valanora, of course!" Juan couldn't believe Simeone had forgotten. "There's a good pub I know of downtown with dispensation to link to the Ordinary Reality's distance-viewing network for The Semi-Finals." What he didn't add, however, was that this particular link had been permitted purely for Simeone Di Bradini's benefit.

"Television, Juan." Simeone corrected. He was sure he'd have a wonderful time explaining what a TV was when the locals went up to the screen and poked at the glass.

"Exactly what I said," Juan insisted, "fancy it? I even think they do panna cotta on the afternoon menu."

"Well, when you put it that way!"

RP CUTOFF

Nope, no pictures today. Instead, you get to see the plain satisfaction of ghost text. Now wasn't that fun?

Your friendly scores will appear here if Jolt isn't being nasty to us (and damned be me for closing the scores thread before making a link...) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13825961&postcount=28)

The Capitalizt SLANI football team has countless fan groups, based in hundreds of cities, founded by people of all descriptions. One of these groups is the Internet Recreational Coalition for Football (“the IRC”), an élite group of geeks who have evolved their own little world, one that makes the Dreamed Realm seem ordinary by comparison. They meet every four years in far-flung nations to see their team play in the World Cup, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that no one outside of their little club has the slightest idea what they’re chanting.

Their motto, “Where would we be without ten ninety-three?” is as incomprehensible to outsiders as the rest of the IRC’s practices. They don’t mind explaining things, as long as you can calculate their “magic numbers” (of which 1093 is one) using a publicly-posted method—ensuring that any new members are either very creative or have a very powerful computer for them to play with. Ordinary football fans might not want to get near them, but fortunately, a number of wannabes tend to surround them at matches (they’re not hard to find, at least at stadia that have a section 109) in an attempt to glean their secrets.

The IRC is well-known on UCS-based football Web sites, though opinions of them tend to vary wildly, from “They’re just making it up to confuse us” to “They’re unlocking the secrets of the universe” to “They’re insane.” Such discussions are frequently enlivened by anonymous trolling from IRC members. It is rumored that they actually use the troll posts to algorithmically construct new memes, so that they can all start spouting the same nonsense without even needing to tell each other—most rumors are far more elaborate than anything they actually do.

Today, they had the pleasure of indoctr—er, inducting a new member, ‘ApplesBoy,’ who had stumbled across their magic numbers while testing a new supercomputer for the Aeropag Tribune. He would be joining them for the Wentland–Capitalizt SLANI quarterfinal that day, and had much to learn about their ways.

ApplesBoy: “So, what’s with these magic numbers?”
goldbug: “Oh, typos, really. Gearbee and WhiteWhine have such trouble with the top rows of their keyboards.”
ApplesBoy: “What’s so special about these typos?”
goldbug: “They’re the ones we remember; some of the other members make so many typos that we just have to ignore them—the typos, I mean.”

After a while, he gave up on trying to understand the memes, and resorted to simply memorizing what he needed to know for the upcoming match. They went over the chants a few times, then packed up and headed for “Some Pretentious Dead Guy Football Stadium,” as they preferred to call it, in Malnira.

The first ninety minutes of the match seemed to fly by, as the Capitalizts seemed to be doing well enough and they nostalgically recalled their “golden age,” filled with tales of complex football, military-grade va’karela’ny, commies and capitaliZts (they had to replace “cops and robbers” with something after the Capitalizt enlightenment), and septuple posting on 386-powered fora—they felt no obligation to make their newcomer feel welcome. Eighty-four seconds after the ninety minutes had expired, their nostalgia turned to rage as a free kick was awarded to Wentland at the edge of the penalty area. They glanced at each other momentarily, and shouted in unison, “REF IS GREEK!”. They quickly received a correction from someone in row 4—“He’s from Kelssek.” The helpful soul soon realized that the IRCers were beyond hope when he heard their reply, “Your mom is from Kelssek!” By the end of that exchange, Wentland had scored from the free kick, and the match was sent into extra time.

The one hundred tenth minute would prove somewhat more palatable for the Capitalizt fans in that section, as in the thirty-first second, a collision occurred near the byline as the ball went out of play. Though the referee was in excellent position to see the incident, he was temporarily incapacitated when the ball rebounded from the advertising boards and struck him in an unfortunate location. As he struggled to his feet, the IRCers began to chant “PENARLTY!”, a word that PurplePentagram had picked up from a screenshot of beta software in a recent edition of the Tribune. The remainder of the Capitalizt contingent behind the goal, not familiar with the term, picked up the chant with the confusingly-similar “PENALTY!”, and the referee promptly pointed to the spot. An observant “wannabe” noticed the use of the word ‘penarlty,’ and queried “What you say!!”, referencing a popular Internet meme from forty-nine years ago. An IRCer derisively replied “You have no chance to survive make your time.” Their banter was interrupted by gasping at the sight of goalkeeper 하순지 (Ha Sun-ji) placing the ball on the mark. The hero of Yuba United’s TakilQuip Champions’ Cup final against Olympique Protectorat, twelve yards from her usual position, would once again receive the adulation of the supporters, driving the ball into the top-right corner of the goal—her first appearance on the score sheet at the international level. ApplesBoy yelled “For great justice!”, prompting the others to sigh, albeit inaudibly.

As they returned to their hotel, they immediately located tickets for the semifinal tie with Kura-Pelland. “I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is, the tickets are fairly cheap…The bad news is, we may need binoculars. Damn section numbering!”

RP cutoff.

And score here (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13826976&postcount=29).

Reality check!

Apparently the way to stop a remarkable World Cup run is to throw lots of money at it. Ergo Capitalizt SLANI's 6-2 defeat of Kura-Pelland in the second semi-final, a result which frankly flattered a largely helpless losing side. They didn't so much play badly - they just met an unbelievable barrage of shots. And the notorious IRC fangroup, but no controversy here, unlike the quarter-finals.

Didn't stop Stephen Hill looking back at that - 'we could have played Wentland, but they lost to a penalty out of thin air'. The same sense of injustice that propelled them to a famous victory over Bazalonia was no match for the Capitalizt barrage though, although they did leave space for two goals from Norbert Fiero. The third-place playoff against Valanora is almost certain to go against them, on paper at least, but this has still been a remarkable World Cup run, and the team is now propelled into the upper echelons of world football. The trick now is to stay there.

On the betting exchanges, SLANI are quoted as white-hot favourites to lift the World Cup, 1.09, with Starblaydia at 12.

Can you imagine if Starblaydia had made it to the World Cup Final in the eighteenth edition, all the way back in 1986*? Where the team that contained the Di Bradini brothers, J.J. Stark, Eomer Hall, Tetsuo Naoki, Ceri Salisbury Jean-Pierre Durand and Rodriguez Da Silva, ranked 21st in the world, could have been playing the masters of Karela to decide the eighteenth fate of the World Cup.

Well yes, actually. That was rather a good team, when you look back on it, but the results certainly didn't go with them. Though qualifying second from their group was a fairly good achievement, their second appearance in the World Cup Finals provided a win, loss, and a draw, with nothing further forthcoming.

What would we have said if they had made it through with three draws, if they had felled a team in the top ten, then a team on their own level, then the defending champions and current best side in the world, before facing the next best team? Most of it is unprintable and unbroadcastable and even if it did get past the censors, there would be a hefty follow-up fine from the keepers of broadcasting standards.

This is the situation that Starblaydia find themselves in today. Just sixteen years since the beginning again of the great football adventure, Starblaydia have, somehow, put themselves into the greatest game of their lives. In Kaza, Kaze Progressa against Rejistania, in the Paladin Dome of New Montreal against Bedistan and, less fabulously, the Stadium of Light in Lockstow, the Islands of Qutar, Starblaydia competed for the title of World Champions.

Now, somehow, in the Protectorate Stadium, Ad’ihan, Starblaydia are doing it again. Lubii, Leandro Perheira, Batou Nakamura, Jaime Kuu, Jack Stafador and Jae Chang-hwa, are those the names we can look back on in years to come and hold them in the same regard as the famous names like Jaime Oberlander, Menecrates, Zhorin Tumunzahar, Georges Blanc, Paul Noble, David Bedford, Johan Keifner and Dasha Tolkacheva? This is, obviously, not the best Starblaydi team of all time. This can be, perhaps, the nation's greatest sporting achievement of all time.

Or the CapitaliZts could put six past us and we'd go down in history as the worst Final participants ever. Whichever the Gods decide.


*1986 by the Starblaydi calendar, where it is currently 2078

Rowell Over and Play Dead!
Starblaydi revenge sets up dream final

Starblaydia capitalised on series of Valanoran goalkeeping errors to fight an excellent second half come-back and take themselves into the World Cup Final to meet CapitaliZt SLANI, the Champions of eight years ago.

By half time it all seemed unlikely for the lowly team with the big history as they were two-nil down to the World Champions. Scott Soldarian opened the scoring just before twenty minutes as he found himself free of Jack Stafador's attentions and smashed the ball in off the far post from around twenty yards.

Kiso Night made it two elves on the scoresheet , much to the chagrin of Bazrador Drakkiborgo on the Starblaydi bench, barely twenty minutes later as he ghosted in between Kaneda and Chang-hwa to fire the ball low across the face of Nikolaidis' goal with his left foot. Two-nil, with half-time beckoning and Starblaydia were staring the Third Place match in the face. Others would have settled for that, would have accepted that the match was beyond them, but not Lex Panarii. As a manager he is as stubborn as he ever was as a player, and he refused to let his team give their glorious chance away. Out they came, revitalised and re-energised with belief, and they only went and pulled one back.

After nine minutes of play in the second half, one of the most well-known Starblaydi footballers in Valanora - Raynor City's Jaime Kuu - did what he did best. Stealing the ball from the shorter and less-physical Cristi Kries on the wing, he quickly took the ball inside and drove forward for the goal. Carlito Di Bradini had seen his move and raced down the left wing. Kuu slipped a through ball down the left channel to the onrushing Di Bradini and continued his run into the box. Di Bradini chipped the ball in and, with the goalkeeper resolutely on his line, refusing to claim the ball, connected with a powerful downward header - Kuu bulleted the ball over the line. Five minutes later and everyone thought Starblaydia were back out of it again as they returned to a two-goal deficit. Elf number three, Espy va Drake, took aim from sixteen yards and rifled a half-volley into the net.

Lex had just about had enough of the elves ruining his game plan and took a fairly massive gamble. Taking off the number eight, central defender Arkady Kaneda, he was replaced with the Dwarf who was seemingly chomping at the bit to get on the pitch and show them a taste of beardy steel. Diamontii Di Bradini also replaced Daymon Callind up front in a straight swap. Callind has often found himself the workhorse up front and has often been used to batter the defence into submission before the more-silky skills of the female Di Bradini have arrived to finish off the opposition.

The change worked almost immediately as a series of quick passing plays laid siege to the Valanoran penalty area. Eventually Alidare was drawn into a foul on Wen Tze-Shu, and Batou Nakamura placed the ball into the grass slowly and deliberately, ushering the likes of Kuu, Lubii and Chang-hwa away. He knew what he wanted and oh blimey did he deliver it. The Seoan Gukjei captain hit a phenomenal free-kick and all Lólindir Rowell could do was stand with his feet firmly planted as he watched the ball sail into the net beyond him. Poor positioning from the unlikely Valanoran goalie, one of the few weak links in the Champions' side. Lubii cause da little bit of a scuffle as she picked up the ball to run it back to the half-way line to get the game kicked off as soon as possible and keep up the pressure. Dwier Titenburg wasn't a happy bunny at this, trying to keep the ball out of her hands, but Lubii proved too quick for him.

Starblaydia went for a third goal, an equaliser, like there was no tomorrow - for when you are playing in a Semi-Final there might as well be no tomorrow if you lose - shot after shot, crunching tackle after crunching tackle. Alfonso Di Angelo was brought on for his 100th cap, replacing Carlito Di Bradini as Starblaydia swapped to something resembling a 3-2-2-3. Chang-hwa, Perheira and Drakkiborgo; Stafador and Tze-shu; Nakamura and Di Angelo; Diamontii Di Bradini, Lubii and Kuu.

Eighty-eight minutes passed. Then the eighty-ninth, Starblaydia pressed forward like a tidal wave but kept breaking on a dogged Valanoran defence, a solid bank of five protecting a bank of four, all shielding the goalie, with just Ikles Razov lurking upfield ready to race away on the counter, hit the turbo button and seal the game. Now or never for Starblaydia. Di Angelo was blocked off, his passing options cut out. A neat pass back to Stafador and out wide immediately to Di Bradini. In to Nakamura she played it, and the midfielder heeded the cries of the Starblaydi fans. All they wanted, all they could plead for in the entire world was one thing: Shoot. And he did.

Rowell dropped down to his left to get his body behind the ball, but was a fraction of a second too late. Though his hands tried to get there first, he was too slow. The ball slipped in between hand and grass, skimming off the surface, squeezed under his body and into the net. Nakamura promptly disappeared under a pile of Starblaydi bodies in celebration as they had forced Extra Time.

Starblaydia had made their substitutions, they were all out of fresh ideas. All they had left was heart and lungs and desire and belief. Fifteen tense minutes came and went and a second fifteen were in progress. Starblaydia hit on the break again, with Kuu racing away towards the penalty area. As defenders tracked back, Rowell came out in desperation. Sprinting towards the young Starblaydi winger, his defenders had to come back to cover him, but his sliding challenge outside the penalty area completely missed both player and ball. Trying to get back on his feet, Kuu was forced wide and tried to get his shot in on an open net. Hizzen Hocn had other ideas and shoulder barged Kuu to the ground. The referee signaled a free kick, but no card was forthcoming.

Nakamura once again placed the ball, but this was no angle for a shot. He whipped a cross in and Rowell again decided to come and claim it, but this was a massive error. He reached up and jumped, but flapped at the ball unconvincingly, getting the merest of fingertip touches to it. As the ball dropped towards the ground, a green Starblaydi shirt ran, unmarked towards it. Stooping slightly, the huge figure of the captain Leandro Perheira, Starblaydia's highest-ever appearance maker and one of the best defenders the Elves Security Forces Premiership has ever seen, planted his feet firmly on the ground and bulleted a header into the net, his eyes on the ball all the way. He took off at a sprint and there was no-one to catch him, such was the adrenaline coursing through his veins. 103 caps to his name and this, his finest moment, as he led his team to the World Cup final.

Game on.

Final score from Great Mets Stadium:
Valanora 3 - 3 Starblaydia (FT)
Valanora 3 - 4 Starblaydia (AET)
(Soldarian 18, Night 37, va Drake 61) - (Kuu 54, Nakamura 67 & 90, Perheira 115)

Valanora Express
History Lesson

So what does the first loss in this tournament reflect upon the squad that was on the brink of trying to create history? What will the historians say when they look upon the performance of this squad in five, ten, fifty, hundreds of years into the future? What will they say of the country who supported them soo proudly after such great hardships devestated their land and population?

They will speak of some fine elves who had the courage to be the savoirs of a country, even if they did not know it themselves. The classy fans will be the envy of the world after they sung off their dissapointed Marauders with a rendition of "Stregnth, Honor, and Glory" that left a tear in many elves eyes. Perhaps a whisper of destiny will be whispered about their oppenents as for the reason for the lone defeat. Certainly the tactical desicisions can not be second guessed, as the squad was but just minutes away from snatching up a repeat trip to the Final of the most glorious of all football competitions.

Strictly sticking to football, the passage is not over quite yet, as their is still the third place game against Kura-Pelland. Oronar has already announced that it will be the second side that will be starting the match for the side, who will be wearing their alternate black/green kits for only the second time. Perhaps it is a sign that the squad is not taking the fixture seriously, as their motto for the tournament was "Final or bust", but there is still something at stake for the Marauders to play for. Merely the honor of professional football should be enough to rouse the spirits of any side, but what's more is that with a victory, the Vanorians would still have a likely shot at being the first ranked team in the world for the seeding of the next tournament. It is not yet known if the Final would require a SLANI loss, but it is clear that for the ranking to be retained, a victory is required.

Yet for all this sad news concerning the plight of the national team, there is both depressing and rejoiceful news domestically. Giving up her life here in the mortal realm, the High Priestess performed a cleansing ceromony upon the Godwell in Char Sara. While it is not known why the leader of the faith performed such a drastic ceromony upon what many believe to be just a mere token tourist attraction, within hours of her passing, the victims of the Tides of Darkness began to appear back in their homes. Despite strange markings and a slight change in attitude in a majority of the mass, each and every person who was believed to be killed or missing following the tragic events has now been reborn for the lack of a better word. It would seem that Elune has been working all this time to repair the fabric of our society, and we should be eternally grateful.

So it must be with rejoiceful hearts that Marauders will go forth and try to save face in the match. Despite speculation from critics about who will replace Oronar now that his term is to be finished, you must believe that this team is united in their purpose. Unity and faith is something the squad will need to have in order to avoid their second loss, and in as many games, and bring back some honor to the country. It might be just a token event, espicially considering the circumstances they will return home to, but elves have their pride and that must always be defended, lest we just be a history lesson for future champions.

Article by Ron Santapa

Third place playoff RP cutoff.

Score is here (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13831717&postcount=30).

Daehanjeiguk will have the final in around twelve hours. That's the end of my involvement with regards to hosting World Cup 41. Thanks to everyone who made it a very enjoyable cup — I really enjoyed most of the RPs.

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc40/
AEROPAG, JI · 2150–08–01 · 0.10 g Au

Editorial: Picking Margaret’s brain
We’ve all, at some point, gone searching for the “magic number” that will explain life, the universe, and everything—it’s as Capitalizt as kumquat pie (I’d like to force-feed a few of those to the inventor of that phrase…). Recently, I’ve come to the realization that the “magic number” may, in fact, be a pair of numbers: 6–2.

What is 6–2? Capitalizt SLANI’s semifinal victory over Kura-Pelland.

What is 6–2? The number of World Cups held by SLANI and Starblaydia.

What is 6–2? The result of a hypothetical two-legged tie between Aquilla and Busby.

What is 6–2? The number of goals scored by Bedistan in their two previous World Cup finals against Starblaydia (the first in a penalty shootout after a Karelan draw).

What is 6–2? Tomorrow, Bedistan/SLANI will play its sixth World Cup final against either of two rivals, Starblaydia and Liverpool England.

What is 6–2? Flipped around, it’s the number of a somewhat infamous World Cup.

What is 6–2? The number of goals SLANI and Starblaydia need to break their respective records for goals scored in ninety minutes in the World Cup final.

What is 6–2? The number of major sporting events (World Cup and Olympic Games) held in the Unified Capitalizt States and Starblaydia.

What is 6–2? It’s a way of life. An experience. An—okay, I’ll stop with the clichés now.

Try it out for yourself: see how many places 6–2 has already entered your daily life! You can also share your experiences on the 6–2 wiki at six-two.ucs; nearly eleven hundred meanings have been cataloged as of this writing.

RP CUTOFF (FinaLL!y!!!)

Live Online Radio Coverage of the Final Match

<WC41_Match_Commentator> Well, it's lovely weather at Protectorate Stadium, where the two teams that have banked so much on one occasion are prepared to meet and settle one last contest in the World Cup.
<WC41_Match_Commentator> On the one side, a veteran Capitalizt SLANI team that has come out from winning one World Cup two seasons ago - by most conventions, that would be 8 years.
<WC41_Match_Commentator> If you're going to live up to their claims, this will be their contest for their 7th title, including the oft-challenged 4 titles offered by Bedistan
<WC41_Match_Commentator> Of course, the SLANIs have inherited the titled won by SLANI and Commerce Heights officially, so this would be their 3rd title for the win
<WC41_Match_Commentator> On the other side, you've got another veteran side but with more fresh feet, from Starblaydia
<WC41_Match_Commentator> Having come out of a recent civil war, the Starblaydi team has managed to shake off the dusts of years past, countless years of pain and suffering, and despite an absence of many years, have come back strong.
<WC41_Match_Commentator> A win will give their third trophy, just as with the SLANIs officially.
<WC41_Match_Commentator> And the national anthems are playing now...
<LE> how long will this take?
<WC41_Match_Commentator> *radio crackles*
<WC41_Match_Commentator> *radio continues crackling for 90 minutes*
<WC41_Match_Commentator> ...
<WC41_Match_Commentator> *radio comes to life* ... and there's the final whistle! An elated purple crowd stand in adulation!
<WC41_Match_Commentator> The final tally in Protectorate Stadium, SLANI 1, Starblaydia 2. And that was a very intense match. Right down to the last minute. And we hope that you enjoyed the match too. Until the next time, bye bye!
<LE> o_O


And there's your final match!

http://www.northshorelij.com/images/thankyou.gif

Valanora Express
Flip Again?

Well, it's a rather decent record, if not the record that the squad nor the supporters of the national team would want most. Still, to have the record of most 3rd place finishes, as well as being 4-0 in those matches, marks a measure of success that is too be admired. We must not be soo down on the losing out on a chance at repeating as champions, as we must remember that the last time we finished third in the tournament, we went on to become champions the next tournament. So Valanora, be content and merry over the run of this team now that the competition has come to an end, but also be ready for what lies ahead. For now, let us look back at the twenty-three players and give them a proper review.

Player Grades

Kiso Night - A - Once again the youngster lead the squad in goals. The only thing that Night possibly could of done to improve on his performance was play in goal and prevent those poor goals in the Starblaydi match.

Ikles Razov - B - A very good tournament for the Dunboor man, who made his mark when asked to. Still, for all his scoring, he should become more well-rounded in order to keep the numerous other talents from snatching his spot.

Scott Soldarian - A - The Turkish man is becoming a very humble superstar. He notched a few very good goals and had ten assists as well all while providing cover for Hawk and Kries in our own end.

Cristi Kries - B- - Okay, Cristi had a pretty good tournament, but compared to the rest of the squad, she still needs to up the performances a bit. Yet, her service this tournament was quite improved and should be enough to keep her starting for 42.

Laborious Hawk - A - Amazingly Laborious continues to improve on his talent. He is starting to get a real fluid understanding of the game and understanding the tendacies of his teammates. Leading the squad with assists, with eleven, for the second out of the last three tournaments, it is clear that he will be the staple of the midfield for some time.

Ali Alidare - B - Ali did exactly what was asked of him each and every match and should be commmended for it. He seems to have a natural chemistry with Soldarian in the middle, and while this has been a very dangerous pairing thus far, I just feel it could become something historic if Alidare can just edge up on his marking.

Espy va Drake - A - What a debut for the Green Island man. While he is no Jannian yet, he could be if given a few more years to develop an all around game. Still, four goals from the winger position is quite impressive considering the other attacking options the Marauders have.

Hizzen Hocn - B - An average if not an overly impressive tournament for him and the entire backline. While the Marauders have never been a side known for its' defensive prowess, it could be drastically improved.

Dwier Titenburg Jr - B - Very much the same as Hocn, needs some improvement if another title is to be had.

Mathias Nickel - B - Hard working as ever, though it may be time to find someone else to captain the side.

Lólindir Rowell - D - Single handedly responcible for the loss against Starblaydia in the semifinals. Rowell is simply not quality enough to have even been called up as a reserve. I do not expect him to even be mentioned in the same breath as the national team any time in the near future.

Reserves

Nadalie Rivana - C - Only played in three games and gave up four goals.

Angrod Minyatur - B - Effective as a substitute and was inspirational voice during the 3PPo.

Placibus Hardsworth - B - Two appearances during the Proper, not enough to get a real feel for how much the veteran has left.

Valdis Torrini - A - Three assists in three matches makes me wonder if this naturalised players might be starting next tournament.

Jamichel Totez - B - Decent when used, but needs more expierence before he'll seriously challange for a starting spot.

Carl Underdark - C - Good, but considering stregnth of the AMC position in the country, it's just not quite good enough.

Roger Zensan - B -A good tournament for the former OFC star, and rumor has it that he's calling the international game quits. If so, he's been a true champion and sportsman for the side.

Roger Zetaback - A - Four goals and four assists off the bench is simply suberb for the former Green Island product. Depending on how Alidare performs next tournament, he very well may be getting the starting spot.

Antis Morose - B+ - Finally Raynor City has someone who performs just as good for the country as for the club since Jannian hung up his international boots.

Nessa Tîwele - B- - Not enough playing time to fairly judge her, but with the age and her being half human and half dragonari, she needs to improve quickly and vastly to uproot Kries.

Calla Soler - B - I was expecting more from Calla personally, as she has the right "stuff" to be a supernatural, but it just wasn't there this time around.

Anti Fresco - B - Quiet and hard working, he would of had an A if he would of notched a few goals. Still, you can not take anything from his heart and dedication to the side.

Valanora 2
Calla Soler (19')
Antis Morose (54')

Kura-Pelland 1
Danny Bindett (32')

Scorers
Kiso Night - 12
Laborious Hawk - 8
Ikles Razov - 6
Ali Alidare - 4
Espy va Drake - 4
Scott Soldarian - 4
Roger Zetaback - 4
Cristi Kries - 2
Roger Zensan - 2
Calla Soler - 2
Antis Morose - 2

Article by Ron Santapa

In the Protectorate Stadium, named appropriately enough, of Ad'ihan, Starblaydia had well and truly joined the elite of footballing history as they had won their third World Cup. The stadium had been well and truly sold out, with 184,500 souls jam packed to the rafters of the traditionally-built stadium, where Starblaydia had already played before - drawing three-three with the host nation.

Fans of the two-time World Champions wore mostly white and purple with the occasion smattering of green, those who had purchased shirts especially for World Cup Forty-One, with Starblaydia presently on an country-wide environmental campaign that even has the national team involved. Most of these fans were from Starblaydia itself, though every country has expatriates and exiles - particularly from a regime that used to be as nasty as it did - who like to cling to their ancestry, as well as fans from other nations who like to support one nation or another when theirs has lost direct interest in the competition. This can be from their playing style, history, attractiveness of women, or whatever. On all three counts Starblaydia have won fans abroad.

Capitalizt SLANI, however, is another matter. They are not a national team, as such, though they incorporate Commerce Heights and Bedistani nations under their Football Association's banner. The Unified Capitalizt States are, to the best knowledge of the outside world, a sort of coalition of disinterested cutthroat CEOs united under some form of government that in itself is a business. They have no national loyalties, as such, and this can appeal to many wandering football fans around the world, particularly the rich ones who can afford the over-priced replica shirts every four years. Capitalizt SLANI are the direct successors to the Commerce Heights Footballing and Soccer Federation, who won the first of SLANI's two championships in the fifteenth edition of the World Cup (1974 by the Starblaydi calendar) which is, funnily enough, precisely when Starblaydia first began their path of adventure on the international footballing stage. A fair few inside the UCS lay claim over Bedistan's four titles, all of which were won in and around the time that Starblaydia were making their big splash on the international stage. Starblaydia/Bedistan was quite a rivalry in those days, with two Finals held between the two nations, with a victory each.

This is a fixture that is very new, yet with a long of history. Draw together in the qualifiers of World Cups 16 and 17, the Group stage of World Cups 27 and 30. With this World Cup Final, a whole new chapter would be written, whatever the result. The two teams were there, Starblaydia's latest AOCAF trophy - their sixth - won just a year earlier in what was then still West Starblaydia was there, Simeone Di Bradini and Juan Tzimices were there, Lord-Protector Tiberius Starblayde and his recently-deposed Krytenian wife Dominque were there. Some SLANI officials, no doubt equally important, who we never found the name captions for were also there.

SLANI were in their first choice navy kits, with Starblaydia in their white with environmentally green trim, their first choice also. It was evident from the outset that SLANI were out to crush Starblaydia as soon as possible, putting their natural talent and game plan into practice - one that had won them a World Title eight years before. Eleven of this SLANI side were former World Champions, five of them on the starting eleven. Of the Starblaydi side, seventeen of them had won the AOCAF in the previous year, nine of them in the starting eleven. This was a match with pedigree, no doubt, and it was only a matter of time before someone scored the opening goal.

The gulf in class between SLANI and Valanora and the rest of the world is an obvious one, and everyone had expected a Final between those two sides, the most recent two World Champions. But, instead, Starblaydia had defeated the best-in-the-world Valanorans after Extra Time in the Semi-Finals and gone on to meet this SLANI side. Twenty-five year old Danielle Brown opened the scoring for SLANI as she scooted round Leandro Perheira and lifted a powerful right-foot shot past Kostas Nikolaidis in the Starblaydi goal. It was only the beginning of the match and the favourites were ahead already. Starblaydia knew they were in for a long, hard-fought night and it had just got a lot worse. No Būm-mo went close, Aiden Mason had a shot tipped onto the bar and Ida Armstrong had a goal ruled out for offside. A valiant Starblaydi defensive effort wore thin towards the end of the game, and Lex Panarii was screaming to make his instructions heard over the noise.

At half time, Starblaydia's players trudged off, tired from their efforts but please to have kept the score down to just a goal to nil. The SLANI players jogged off to await fresh instructions, new tactical ideas and to fulfill their half time sponsorship commitments. We may never know what was actually said in that dressing room at half time, but we know that Lex has a penchant for stirring half time speeches - just look at the Valanora Semi-Final for inspiration, of course. Could he do it again? Daymond Callind striking the outside of the post after just three minutes of play was the answer. Revitalised, reinvigorated and ready for the second half, Starblaydia came out all guns blazing. The midfield partnership of Stafador and Tze-Shu was more solid and energetic, winning the ball and starting attack after attack. Now it was a game, now it was exciting for every person in the stadium.

Then Starblaydia scored.

A Lubii shot had deflected off Hoŋ ʼIn-ju and gone out for a corner. Early in the second half, Starblaydia's big guns came up from the back, flooding the box with tall bodies: Perheira, Kaneda Callind, Kuu and Tze-Shu. As Nakamura whipped in the cross, Callind made a nuisance of himself with the goalkeeper and Starblaydia charged. It was messy but organised, and it out-played the SLANI defence. As a sea of white and green surged forward, the ball curled its way into the penalty area and it was headed in by Starblaydia's number eight. Perhaps the most unlikely of goalscorers, the central defender Arkady Kaneda. Sixty-four times he had played for his country before this night, and never before had he scored. Even for Cafundó do Juta his goalscoring record is fairly Abysmali, but never before had the V$10M-rated defender scored for his nation. He was mobbed, quite rightly, but his team-mates, and the game was well and truly on.

Back and forth the game swung, getting a little heated at points. Passion was certainly on display here in spades. Both teams new that Extra Time was approaching. Starblaydia had already been through Extra Time once already, taking the best team in the world on and defeating them. That, however, had taken a lot out of them, and neither side would truly welcome another half hour of football, so both pressed for a winner. It came Starblaydia's way. As No Būm-mo's shot was saved by Nikoladis, the ball came out to Chang-hwa. Starblaydia's veteran glamour girl immediately played a long ball up to the halfway line where Diamontii Di Bradini, substituted on for Callind, took up the ball and played it out wide to Kuu. The crowd got to its feet, expecting an incredible mazy run but instead Kuu hit a long ball across the floor with a first-time pass towards the middle. Lubii took the ball in her stride on the edge of the area and jinked to the right, bypassing Jo Doŋ-ā's block tackle. She drew back her right foot and struck the ball, following through as the technique demanded. For what fely like an agonising eternity, the ball sailed through the air. Then then roaring, cheering and celebrations began. Above it all for fans watching on television sets across Starblaydia was the screamed commentary of the Starblaydi team.

"Lubii has won it!"

Final score from Protectorate Stadium:
Capitalizt SLANI 1 - 2 Starblaydia
(Brown 16) - (Kaneda 53, Lubii 89)