NationStates Jolt Archive

SCOTTY: World Cup kickoff is only few days away, and for more, we send it out to the College Gameday crew... on location! Guys?

(A hundred or two fans cheer in front of a stadium, waving their Horrible Hand-Towels. And in front of them, a desk!)
JAKE: Thanks for that, Scotty. We welcome you to Samosisos, Starblaydia, home of Elvatar Field and of Dancougar versus Bostopia, the opening match for the Wings in Group E play. Hello everyone, Jake Matthews along with Dee Torso and Dirk Spiceroad. Guys, we were expecting to be here reporting on the Cup of Harmony, but the Wings got it done in the playoffs. They're in the last thirty two.

DEE: And that was something we didn't expect, but quite a few teams sneaking in after some qualifying-round upsets and fortunate playoff pairings. You gotta feel bad for the good teams that ran into really good ones, but I suppose that justice will be done when they clean up the Cup of Harmony while the Dancougars and Green Wombats of the world really struggle through this World Cup first round.

JAKE: Dancougar not getting any help from the draw, two top-ten teams are playing in Group E, and Bostopia are ranked inside the top thirty. Maybe not a group of death from an outsider's perspective, but for us trying to match teams up against the Wings, it's looking pretty bad!

DIRK: Growing pains, Jake, and when you look at what Charles DuPont has done in a short time, helping them find some offense, giving them the confidence they need, that's really what he was brought in to do. He's certainly not going to achieve success right away, and in reaching the World Cup in his first go, I'd go so far as to say he's overachieving. The whole team is. What I'm hoping is that the fans, and especially the FA, don't get too excited or expect too much. If you look at their body of work during qualifying, it's not terribly impressive, but just enough.

JAKE: Three losses during qualifying, one to Cafundeu and two to Quakmybush, and all of the teams they'll face now are basically on that level.

DEE: Right, and in order to have a chance at surviving, you have to look at the defense. Ask yourself if they can contend with quick forwards for ninety minutes, because you know all three of these teams can field an impressive team of forwards, and midfielders, too! SLANI, especially, will be tough to contend with, since they like to load up. Four in front, three guys right behind them, and no breaks for opposing defenses. It's the reason why they're the best team in the world, they don't let up. They could just sit back and still get along fine, but they'll go right for your throat every time, like a team trying to make a name for itself.

DIRK: And with Cafundeu and Bostopia, maybe not as aggressive as SLANI, but they still play a more open game than the Wings do. Cafundeu has a great soccer culture, and Flecha is really having a tournament for the ages. Led the team in scoring during qualifying, what can I say, the man can still play. They have a lot of attacking options all over the field, defenders will come up and make plays, they're very flamboyant. Bostopia, on the other hand, can be a little more methodical in their approach, but this is a team that could very well be on the rise. It's been noted that all of their players are around sixteen. It's a fresh start, and the body of work they've put together is very impressive. That youth gives them a lot of intangible benefits - things like enthusiasm, energy, and charisma. You don't want to go down to them early, because the can control the tempo of the game with all that.

JAKE: You mentioned the defense, Dee. The Wings have been stringing along with three men at the back. Boskov and Underwood have been helping, sure, but is that going to cut it in this group?

DEE: It's not, and I don't like the options on the bench, either. Barclay is the best guy there, of course, and you get a lot of speed from Weatherford. But a fast back line will only get you so far. Their marking has broken down at times, guys don't know where to be, they leave a big hole for attacking forwards. They will give up shots that they shouldn't, and give credit to Yuji Watanabe for hanging in there, doing what he can, but he's made mistakes as well. The problem is that the bench is pretty shallow. We've only seen Saji Hijikata in the Turtle Cup, and he was outpaced, and Stan Carter from Carnegie Tech, probably the best man-marker on the team, but he's slower.

DIRK: The midfield is this team's strength, so it really behooves DuPont to use his sizable midfield reserve to his advantage. I would not rule out subbing at the start of the second half just to keep people fresh. Vistula and Ootawara are pretty solid options, they just need to stick to their roles and avoid drifting up in hopeless attacks. With Leyton, you've got the vision to pick people out from the center of the field, and Morimoto and Whittaker will work that right and left side. Either of them can take free kicks well, and that was troublesome for defenses in qualifying, when they'd both line up over it. They're going to need to try and win the possession battle and give the defense a break, push up and maybe draw the foul. Set pieces are their specialty.

JAKE: Hideo Ikeda, finally done in Cafundeu, his club team made the final of the cup, there, but lost. He and Jinguuji have been scoring about every other game, no real focus on who gets the ball on offense.

DEE: And in some sense, that's a good thing, because everybody gets into the game, it's difficult to pick out the danger man, and the team can play more effective ball. But at the same time, that means it can be hard to find a leader, especially when the team is down. Nobody on this team really has the kind of overwhelming presence that the best players in the world do, the person who can take over a game at the drop of a hat and spur the team on.

JAKE: That goes back to what we were saying before the show, you can find leaders on this team in the guys who have been here before, and they've certainly helped the rest of the team along. Sometimes they make the big play in a game, but none of them have really taken the extra step to keep it up, and always be that go-to guy.

DIRK: And that, for me, is the surest sign that the Wings are overreaching in making the cup so soon. To succeed on this stage, really succeed, now, you have to be able to become larger than life. That's absolute commitment to the game and to the team. And if nobody is able to willing to do that, then you have eleven guys just going with the flow as it happens. Somebody has to set the tone.

JAKE: We'll see if that's the case, and so can all of you, as DSPN will have complete World Cup coverage. Dancougar plays Bostopia first, followed by SLANI and Cafundeu in games two and three. We'll have more throughout the tournament, but for now, back to Scott and Ken in the studio.

"And Saint rises to plant the ball home!!! Three-nil to Wentland and the Swifts are going to the finals. Of that there is no doubt!!!!"

Norman Hacker was dancing on the touchline as physio Bert Bridges looked on in disdain. "Boss, there's no need to commentate!!! Everyone can hear you!!!"

"Everyone? What do you mean? There's no-one here!!!"

It was eerily quiet in the Kenneth Kendall stadium. The strikes that had paralysed the media had also paralysed the transport system, and more to the point security forces, meaning that the game was behind closed doors. And barely anyone even knew Wentland was in a play-off. Which suited Hacker fine. Having had his own way and chosen an all-male squad, the failure to top the group was an embarrassment, but he was sure that his memoirs would put it all down to idiotic refereeing, bad luck and freak goalkeeping.

Question is, he thought, when Wentland has its glorious World Cup triumph, will anyone be there to see it?

***

"All present and correct?"

"Think so!"

"Robinson...Eager...Jarvis...Dexter...Burnside...Bassett...Ackroyd...Lawrence...Newton...Weston...Ben nett...Leiper...Coburn...Katz...McIntyre...Dennis...Leonard...Bolster...Guthrie...Blake...Starkey... Treves...Saint..."

"All here..."

"Right, here we go...next stop Corinth!!!!"

As the team took the walk from the terminal to the Air Went plane, they suddenly heard a massive roar.

"Wow! Look at that sea of blue and white!"

"How did they know?"

Duncan McIntyre, heading for his first finals, glanced at the television screen. "The embargo is over! Reporters have just informed everyone we've qualified..."

"And we have support! Yay!!!"

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc40/
AEROPAG, JI · 2146–05–28 · 0.10 g Au

Editorial: Crash and burn
It’s World Cup time again, and the latest crop of football fans are as overconfident as ever. With Capitalizt SLANI just having shipped the famous trophy off to Krytenia in exchange for replica number six (the folks in cyan and navy seem much more friendly off the pitch than on), people talk of winning a seventh as if it were already decided. Not only is the team expected to mount a formidable title defense, but the sports media speak of “the pursuit of perfection”—expecting Alfreda Alesanka’s squad to do that which has never been done before, to win every single match in the World Cup finals as well as the qualifying phase.

Please stop.

I don’t care that Alesanka has seen the Silver–Blues to a dozen trophies—the Champions’ Cup, the Élite League, the League Cup, the TechConGroup Cup, le Tournoi de Reddition, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care that the Capitalizts have won eleven competitive matches on the trot (if, as they claim, the AOCAF is simply a “training exercise”). I don’t care what stats the players have in your computer game. What I do care about is that throughout its history, hype has been the most effective weapon against this team.

Witness World Cup 15—while most people are focused on the Capitalizt Revolution, the football team goes, beats up on some commies, and wins the Cup. World Cup 16—they look like they have the chance to repeat, and then get thrashed by a certain other Paripanan team. World Cup 32—not long after the Capitalizt side is hailed as the best ever, they get killed and their replacements are condemned to group-stage mediocrity. World Cup 39—the team goes into their home campaign without the highest of expectations, and comes out with a memorable five–nil result. There are more examples, of course, but the pattern is clear.

I’m sure many people are already composing a letter in their head explaining that the team’s performance relative to hype is entirely random, and that previous incidents have no bearing on the probability of future events—you know who you are. That’s fine. You can type up your letter, print it out, and shove it up—

But I digress. There are plenty of opportunities for the team, no matter how good it is, to stumble. You might remember, for instance, the opening match of World Cup 39, in which Capitalizt SLANI went down to Cafundéu—their only defeat in the last seventeen games. You might also glance at the World Cup 40 schedule, and notice that Capitalizt SLANI plays Cafundéu on the first matchday. With the amount of money that nation has put into the Élite League, it should be clear that, uh, they mean business. And if “hype means defeat” is the most important lesson to learn about this team, then the second is: “history repeats itself.” Just about everyone who’s followed the sport for more than nineteen seconds should be able to write a whole book of examples, but for the ignorant or impatient: Commerce Heights 0, Bedistan 3.

Next on the menu is Dancougar. You’re probably all looking for a Ravea-esque result here, but for every ten–one, there is an upset (sorry, Karelans, conceding a goal does not itself count as an upset). You might remember a certain group of clowns—monks? hamsters? I can never remember what they are—that took the Capitalizts to a penalty shootout not too long ago. Remember, for this team, the expectation of victory is the surest guarantee of defeat.

I can’t say much about Bostopia, as all I know of them is that they’re rather paranoid, have some twisted ideas about collectives, and a sick fantasy about someone known only as Margaret, but it should suffice to say that they may also be dangerous. Should the Capitalizts reach the second round, Krytenia or Demot most likely awaits them. If the latter, then they have nothing to fear, as everyone would expect it to be a difficult match. If they have the misfortune to play the former, then they’ll most likely take an early bow.

So overall, the prognosis for Capitalizt SLANI is rather bleak. But if I can just convince enough other people of that, then there might be a chance to go 17–0–0 after all…oops, can’t start thinking like that.

Dallas and Daughters Fan Club International Newsletter

Razzle Dazzle Supersale on

Hello Dallas fans. To make way for new stock, we're cleaning out the old stuff meaning big savings! Naturally, if you show your membership card then you'll get further discounts. This applies to all stores, not just the ones in Jeruselem. Be aware smaller stores might not stock everything but there's only so much we can do about this. Some Razzle Dazzle stores are not owned by us and are franchises, so experiences may vary from place to place.

So, what's coming up? Since my sister Kate is still locked up in the local Elven temple, we've got Kate Dallas Servant Girl dolls. Probably the most unexciting set of dresses that come with the doll, but she's a servant girl not a Queen now.

A new range of Hello Kitty! gear is coming in too. We finally get the soundtrack CD after complaining a lot. And we've got access to limited stock of the Hello Kitty! LED touch. I've acquired one of these and trips to the fridge is so much more fun. A whole bunch of new dresses and hair accessories. We are trying to get our hands on the computer game but we have not been told yet. We are working on that still.

Yo, and we've got a whole bunch of "purple" stuff. Apparently, it wasn't selling too well at another store so we've got it now. We've made sure it doesn't match the Starblaydi colour scheme as we don't want to upset some people out there.

And finally, we're launching our own range of cute iPod and mobile phone assessories too. These won't be for guys but then our stuff is not designed for guys anyway. Guys don't miss out either! We have a range of stylish gear for them too including some with pictures of the Dallas girls.

A new range of sports gear is out too for men and women, boys and girl, etc. The same stuff used by our own Jeruselem and Jeru FC World Cup teams. Apparently, we even have Hockey gear! Never used since we don't have Hockey team but you can buy it.

Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas
XXX

Plane Pollution Protested
Won't somebody think of the children?

A growing feeling of protest is emerging in Starblaydia, reaching a new high today in the Sjarondai - Starblaydia's Parliament. With concerns over the environment, the Honourable Representative for Penningworth West - Giuseppe Baelii - asked a question in the weekly 'Prime Representative's Questions' session. The initial question from the Starblaydi Democrat Representative, which came out of the blue in a session dominated by military funding and educational questions, was as follows:

"As this world is not inherited from our parents, but borrowed from our children, what work is the Prime Representative doing to ensure the environment is in it's best possible state when we are long gone?"

Not much of an answer was forthcoming from PR Magnus Verstenssen, head of the Praetoran Party, at which point Baelii used his option of a supplementary question:

"Supplementary to the previous, will the Government, of which both mine and the Prime Representative's parties are members, take steps to at least make our portions of the 27th Baptism of Fire, 40th World Cup and 32nd Cup of Harmony carbon neutral, by offsetting the pollution caused by hundreds of inbound and cross-country flights from around the world to Starblaydia?"

Again, no real answer was forthcoming. Only the Starblaydi Democrats really bothered to campaign on the issue of the environment, and the coalition government, made up of mostly Praetorans in alliance with the Democrats, had much more obvious issues to think about. There was simply nothing on the table to which Verstenssen could reply with, and so spouted what he assumed would be the usual government line for this sort of left-field question: "The Starblaydi Government, which includes the Lord-Protector, is focussed on and committed to taking care of the environment." The next HR to get to ask a question was Praetoran Party member for the Riegas Underground constituency: the Dwarven politician Dwalor Gazrambir. Introduced by the chair of the debate, the Speaker of the Sjarondai, Dwalor stood and opened his mouth. However no sound emerged, as he was clearly thinking. Some members of the chamber jeered his hesitation, notably from the Nemyan Independence Party, but Dwalor soon composed himself and asked an off-the-cuff question:

"Why doesnae t'Government take every step it can t'make t'world a better place fer our younglings, specifically why do we nae make every home in t'nation as enegery efficient as it be possible t'do, why do our power stations belch out smoke'n'flame into t'air, our vee-hickles the same? We need t'be in harmony wi't'land, nae in opposition tae it, why do we nae do it? Jus' why?"

With a member of his own party - not a rebellious one, either - posing such an off-the-cuff question, Verstenssen was, for the moment, drowned out in a huge chorus of cheers for the Dwarf's question. He simply couldn't make himself heard over the three hundred and fifty-nine other HRs who were cheering the question, calling for an answer, and generally voicing their unqualified support. Finally, finally, the Speaker called for order.

"Mem-," Verstenssen began, "Members of the Sjarondai," he said, finally being audible as the HRs quietened down, "I can honestly say that the environment has not been on the government's list of top priorities since this chamber was formed. Though we are a young democracy, we are a greatly established nation, rich and powerful, with a reputation for doing the right thing. It is clear that the right thing for the environment is not being done, and that must be changed. I will arrange a meeting at the Lod-Protector's earliest possible convenience to discuss these matters further. We have concentrated in these early years on putting right the damage that Lady-Protector Viannor's regime did to this nation, this continent and this region. Those issues have mostly been resolved, but now it is clear there are greater issues that still face us. Rest assured, Honourable Representatives, that Starblaydia will do the right thing."

The chamber erupted.

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram
World Cup 40 to kick off

Football's World Cup rolls around again, and fans throughout this world (among various locations!) can watch thirty-two nations fight it out for victory. Zwangzug's squad will play in Group G in historic Starblaydia. It lost 2-1 in its only match in that country, to Starblaydia.

Zwangzug's first match in group play is against Bazalonia, in Basia. Bazalonia was in Zwangzug's group in its first two Cups, and also in World Cup 38. That's without talking about World Cup 37 qualification. So Zwangzug will play its sixth match against Bazalonia, which joins Qazox and North...um...

That country north of that which Zwangzug plays on matchday two! Zwangzug knows that squad, "Aroras", from World Cup 36: with rank 21, Zwangzug won against World Cup 35's champions in round two. Matchday 3 will match Zwangzug up against UCS Jasi'yun: a capitalizt squad (not SLANI, luckily). It's known in Zwangzug for hosting Cup of Harmony 25.

Fans might look for MUFN stars, but many won't go to this Cup. Not just Aguazul nationals: folks as popular as wild forward Muus Jurin didn't qualify for this squad. All of Zwangzug's starting XI play abroad, but with Phillip Stings and Mal Faustino not coming back for World Cup 41, Rohit Sharma or Arlington's Covy could go into that list. But right now, our focus is in Jhan, Starblaydia.

Vyinta Times
Valanora Advances, ESF missing?

As the squad composed of our four nations of the commonthwealth braces itself for the start of the World Cup Proper, there are concerns from the squad. It's not as though they fear they will not progress from the stage, as the draw was kind enough to present a challanging but easily able to overcome group, but because there has not been contact with the mainland of Elves Security Forces for over three months. The island of Capri, and the few cities there still have contact with the rest of the world, and have been attempting to figure out the reason for the lack of information coming out of the mainland. They have sent "scout" teams for reconnisiance, but all those that have been sent forth have not returnes as of the printing of this article. Satilite imaging gives no clue as to what is going on either, as there appears to be a dark inpenatrable cloud covering the country. Thermal scans show life is still going on under the "cloud" but can not reveal more than that at this time.

According to the citizens of Capri, a week before their final qualifying match, the High Priestess had announced to everyone in the country that there was an unknown magical force operating in the western part of the country, and they should avoid it at all costs until it was dealt with by the priests and priestesses. Just two days after that announcement was when the island lost contact with the mainland. Thinking it was just a power outage, the officials were not alarmed. It was not until three days later, when no shipments or messages from the mainland did the officials start to become concerned. After two months, they had to turn their eyes towards us for supplies, and began to send in those to investigate the matter. With another month passed, and still no word, there is fear that something awful has happened to those inside the country. This will no doubtly weigh on the minds of the national team in Krytenia as they try to set it aside and do what they do best. For now, we can only hope that Elune is with those poor souls, and that it will all come to some peaceful conclusion soon.

Article by Drazini Dalrus

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group D: 0-0-0
MD1: HAN(24) --- (46)GRW (@ ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD2: SQU(4) --- (24)HAN (@ Brecklands, Linford)
MD3: JER(13) --- (24)HAN (@ Walton Gardens, Simpson)


Fire!

The IFA has announced its intention to submit a bid for the 28th Baptism of Fire today. Although the bid has not been thoroughly analyzed and even finalized, the head administrators are confident that the Han Empire is ready for a bid to tackle another tournament on home ground (besides the seasonal OFC tournament).

"We have surveyed the options, and I think it's fair to say that we have a lot to offer the international community in submitting this bid," Count Jeong Mongjun said at a press conference in Lasa today. "With cooperation by the Holiness Daloe Rama (達賴喇嘛|달뇌라마) and his avid followers, the Buddhist community has graciously offered to construct a number of Football Academies, the largest of which will be on site at the Potala Palace. Another academy will be constructed at the Sholim Monastery near Namgyeong. It is our intention to use these academies as the proving grounds for our nation's future, and it is only right that we accord the benefits to the international community. Therefore, as part of our bid to host the Baptism of Fire, the Imperial Football Academies will be the main site for the group stages of the tournament, where the players can take training from the masters of football."

Count Jeong continued: "News of the 'special' treatment of the Buddhist community sparked a number of protests, and so as part of a new deal, we will be scheduling the construction of academies for the Islamic community in Shingang, the Christian community in Gwangdong, the Catholic community in Malnira, the Orthodox community in Manju Province, the Traditionalist community in Namgyeong, and a general national academy in Hangyeong. It still remains that the complex at the Potala Palace is the official seat of the Imperial Football Academies nonetheless, and will be the primary setting for the Baptism of Fire, should we be accepted as the host."

There were other comments on the side as the discretion of a "partner" in the hosting bid. "We have not actively sought a partner for the bid, and it seems to be unnecessary. Nonetheless, if a hosting partner is required, we will seek one out at that time. Otherwise, please bear in mind that none of these specifications are written in stone, and that we are still make our final plans as we speak. Hopefully, we will have a comprehensive bid by the end of the week."

GAZETA DO POVO - O JORNAL DA NAÇÃO CAFUNDELENSE!
Sports Section - Articles written by Carlos Alberto Gujabre

The World Cup draw was made. A very important moment for this football competition, as the draw can make the path for the second round easier for some countries, and it also has influence in the knockout games. So, all the participating nations, from the champions Capitalizt SLANI for the last-second qualified nation Green Wombat, were anxious to see which countries they would have to face in order to keep the World Cup dream alive. Many people laughed, many others cried. Some games present chances of upset, others are too close for us to call a winner.

Due to the fact that both hosts Starblaydia and Krytenia are ranked far below Cafundéu, the Monopolists lost the condition of first seeds in the draw. Ranked 8th, they would be the worst first seed (Ariddia not in the cup), but they became the second best second seed due to this situation. And Cafundéu was placed in a super-strong group, but one with a big difference of KPB points between the top 2 seeds and the bottom ones. The Monopolists are, once again, in Capitalizt SLANI's group, the first placed in the rankings and current champions.

So, Cafundéu's group surely is the one that will have the biggest game of the group stage, between current champions Capitalizt SLANI and 8th best ranked country of the world Cafundéu. The third seed is Bostopia, a team with talented players, which appears constantly in the World Cup, but still didn't do an excellent campaign in any of its editions. Everyone knows that they're dangerous, but they also know that the Monopolists are surely the favourites in this game, without doubt. Then, we go to the fourth seed, Dancougar. In rankings, they are one of the worst countries of the entire World Cup. But we all know that rankings don't decide all the games. Dancougar is a surprising team and can defeat even Capitalizt SLANI in a good day.

The fact that Dancougar is in Cafundéu's group raises another interesting issue: why the Monopolists are faded to play three times against the same country in the same World Cup process? This is the third consecutive time that this happens, the fourth in history. Demot in WC34, Novapsolu in WC38, Casari in WC39... this isn't something that excites our supporters, as they usually prefer to play against teams that they haven't played before, something that can happen if Cafundéu goes to the second stage. Anyway, Cafundéu learnt in the qualifying stage that Dancougar is stronger than the rankings would suggest. After all, the Monopolists lost a game against them. So, the team needs to be cautious.

After seeing our opponents in this group stage of the World Cup, the numbers put our confidence on high levels. Our record is good, we don't have a negative record against any of our opponents. Against Dancougar, counting only WCC-sanctioned events, our record is a draw. 1 victory for each team. But, if we count non-official events (the Turtle Cup), we get the advantage, with an extra win coming to our side. Against Bostopia, we have played them twice: a loss in Cup of Harmony 27 and a win in World Cup 37. And, surprisingly, our best record is against Capitalizt SLANI: two wins in two games, and important games. A second round game in World Cup 37 and a group stage game in World Cup 39.

So, our supporters can be confident that Meback and the team can reach the second round, and may even go further. Cafundéu is a strong football nation, and our opponents know of that.

http://www.islandsdaily.co.ad/sport/blog/wc40/first_hurdle
Out at the first hurdle?
Posted 4:50 am, day after Group Draw by Davey Thomson

Have had a late night and will keep this short. Potentially tricky group for us, with Valanora, Northern Bettia and Dance 2 Revolution all capable of tripping us up. The fact that we lost our final post-qualifying friendly 4-1 to Starblaydia is proof that this team isn't anywhere good enough to challenge for the World Cup.

Of course, it's a miracle we even won our group in the first place after the slow start we had. And an update on my blogging partner Luke Evans — Luke's away with the team at the team hotel and will be able to provide us with exclusive first-hand detail (subject to AFF clearance) throughout the cup. Stay tuned.

PS — Feel free to leave your comments or questions as always and I'll get back to you when I've gotten some sleep, but the blog will be undergoing a 'facelift' with a change in font and mechanism and so you won't be able to leave comments until about 5 pm today.

Permalink | Trackback | View comments for this post

Welcome to the comments section for the post Out at the first hurdle? at the United Islands Daily's World Cup 40 blog. There are currently ( 5 ) comments. Please register to make a comment or email it to blogcomments-first_hurdle@islandsdaily.co.ad. Please remember to observe our house rules.

1. Posted by chris in pilminster at 17:30 ( Report | Respond to comment )

hey davey, any news on the future of dave hollow? i can't imagine he's wildly popular with the big boys at the aff right now.

2. Comment by email user James Donald at 17:41 ( Report | Respond to comment )

Nice new feature. Great that we can email our comment in now. What's the status of Ben Ropes? Following Martin Kawn's fantastic performances — which have led to him being chased by a club from Cafundéu — has Ropes permanently lost his starting spot in goal?

3. Posted by Pierre at 18:03 in response to Comment 1 ( Report | Respond to comment )

Chris, I can't imagine Hollow's feeling too secure in his job. I'd like to see him leave the job after this cup. Dave or Luke, as my club, County Stanley, have finally won promotion to the top flight, do you think our on-loan striker Francis Yang will be rewarded with a permanent spot in the national squad?

4. Posted by Ad'ihani in Zwangzug at 18:20 ( Report | Respond to comment )

Big group. Big names. All difficult. Can't see us getting better than third. I think three points will be an achievement. Two's more likely.

5. Posted by Davey Thomson at 18:44 ( Respond to comment )

Chris in Pilminster and Pierre — good to see you on the new blog. Dave Hollow's job is most certainly still on the line. A second-round finish, at the minimum, is expected of him. Either way, barring us winning the whole thing, I don't see him staying on past this cup.

James Donald (comment 2) — Ropes is still very much a part of Hollow's plans for the national team but you're right, he's definitely lost his starting place for now. He'll have to put in some strong club performances to get it back.

Ad'ihani in Zwangzug — I'm not as pessimistic but you're right. All three matches will be difficult but I think we should be able to get four points at least and sneak through in second.

The Meice Journal
All the news that fits, we print!
Vol. 164, No. 177 - 11 August 1756

Sports

Prep's Mailbag
by Preptyrs Osprite

So we're off to the World Cup. Show of hands, who saw that coming eight months ago? Yeah, me neither.

And the big questions of the week are:

1. Can this amazing run of form continue? from Speocacks Flentang
Well, you know what they say, all good things must come to an end. But when? Is it possible that we have enough momentum to break through into the knockouts this time around? Call me a pessimist, but I say no. In fact, I think we could potentially wind up with a big goose egg in the points column.

2. Why aren't Naboombu Umbongo and Scotchpinestan in the World Cup? from Ocilla Scunt
Normally, this column is reserved for opinion questions, but this one seems important enough that I think everyone needs to know exactly what happened.

In the case of Naboombu Umbongo, the team was automatically disqualified from the World Cup because the nation ceased to exist before the end of the qualifying stage. The World Cup hosting committee thus ruled that Naboombu Umbongo's FA (if it even exists anymore) was ineligible to compete. Now I'm not going to get into the politics of it here, with this disqualification having been a source of some at times violent debate over the past several months, but that's the reason. I believe the WCC is soon to have a vote to decide the official stance on this matter once and for all; up until now it's been up to the hosts. I think that's a good idea; whatever they choose, it needs to be codified somehow.

As for Scotchpinestan, their FA explicitly withdrew from the tournament. They mentioned something about not deserving to be there or something. I have no idea what they meant by that.

3. What needs to happen in order for our team to reach the knockouts? from Ferrys Cegeeng
We have to finish in the top two of the four nations in the group.

But you probably knew that, and I think you meant more from an actual playing perspective. And my response is: better play in the midfield. We have some very fine attackers in Sorrah and Cilleng, and occasionally Hetag; what our defense lacks in size, it makes up for with speed; but our problem is that we have almost a void between the two ends. In other words, we can't really hold on to the ball very well. If I had to make only one change to the team, it would be to bench Sperobis and put Dotos Ponten in the starting eleven. You may have seen in the news the other day that Ponten's bound for Clube Imperial over in Cafundéu. If there's one thing I've found in my years covering this sport, it's that the Cafundelenses generally know what they're doing. They see something in Ponten. Parker Law needs to see it too.


That's it from the Mailbag for this week. Pick up the Journal next Wednesday as I answer more questions (and dodge various Sel Appans and Az-czzers in Krytenia who've read my column and found that I didn't thoroughly bash the WCC and the hosts - whoops, was that out loud? [NOTICE: this is an IC remark, please don't hurt me!]). Got a question? Send it to Preptyrs Osprite, c/o the Meice Journal, 755 Steller Bingastis, Meice, Bektys BK1 335.

ANTHONY: Today on SportsTalk... where do they go after the tournament ends? The answer for one player, and possibly more. Playing time - everyone wants it, but only eleven get it. Is it good for the team when half of it sits? This and more, coming up on SportsTalk. (Intro screen and theme.) Glad you could join us for this edition of SportsTalk, Anthony Nimitz here, and I'm joined by Tony Travers and Hikaru Waya. Let's get started with transfer news. Tournament time is a chance to shine for your nation, and for those without leagues, it's an audition. Top players looking to catch the attention of foreign clubs, and first one the list this year is a goalkeeper. The news broke last night that Yuji Watanabe is leaving school a year early to play in Cafundeu. Clube Imperial is keen on developing the college Goalkeeper of the Year from two seasons ago, when he was a sophomore, and he'll likely go out on a loan for the first half of second season. So guys, let's talk about Watanabe, this move surprised a lot of people, yourselves included.

TONY: Yeah, although I think I can see what they like in his play. He's a very reactive goalkeeper. You usually don't see him just sit in the box even when the ball's not on his end, he likes to be a part of the game. He gave up just under two goals a game during qualifying, but did pick up a friendly clean sheet against Southern Northland, and he played very well in the playoff with KaMaRi. The big criticism I usually hear, and tend to agree with, is that a lot of times, his performance was a result of having a very good defense in front of him. The number of shots coming through is low, and they're generally not of the finishing kind. This puts him in a good position to make stops. Now, in qualifying, he faced stuff he hadn't really seen before, and under those circumstances, I thought he adapted very well, but I still think he can do better. Relax a little more in the box, try not to do so much, and just focus on that ball.

HIKARU: Well, you say that, Tony, but a goalkeeper's performance has to be evaluated in the context of his defense. In his one really bad game, in Lasft against Cafundeu, they put up six on him, and half of those were really the defense's fault. If they give up the open shot, even the best 'keepers in the world are helpless when they have to defend the entire goal from an attacker alone in the box. A goalkeeper will not win games by him or herself, it's just not possible to deflect everything coming at that big goal of yours without any help in front of you. And when you look at it that way, he's a decent goalkeeper with some real potential. I agree, he looks a little agitated in the box sometimes, needs to calm down a bit. But if Imperial think he has a chance at being their goalie of the future, they'll give him his reps. He'll learn the finer points to go along with those reflexes

ANTHONY: Other names that have been linked to teams in Cafundeu include Shishio Jinguuji and Musashi Yamada, but nothing has been finalized yet, and the consensus is that these should really be taken with a grain of salt. Lots of football left to be played, other players will make their case for sure.

HIKARU: Right, and Jinguuji, at least, should be able to land a job after the tournament. He's matched Ikeda for scoring pace and been a pretty good distributor of the ball from the forward spot. He's happy to get the midfield involved, although he has gotten a bit greedy at times and tried to do too much by himself. He still needs to work on building up an attack, learning which shots to take and which ones to pass on. It can really deflate an offense to get nothing off an attack because somebody balloons a shot they shouldn't have taken.

ANTHONY: Nethertopia and Newmanistan have started new leagues, the question now, should Dancougar follow suit? It's obviously a shame to see guys like you already out of the game, and if you'd had a chance to keep playing, who knows what might've happened, am I right?

TONY: Well, there are certainly models that could work, and word out of the FA is that they're drafting a plan that will hopefully be in place before the next World Cup. There was an article a few months ago, Jay Adonis, and that hit on a lot of the major points. But there are plenty of other issues. Fan violence comes to mind, and we've seen it happen in this cup and others, terrorism, and the list goes on. Dancougar has been fortunate not to suffer an incident like this, although there was word that a plot to attack the Southern Northland game was foiled. These are some huge roadblocks that the government is having a tough time clearing and letting a league go forward.

HIKARU: The problem with that as the defense is that it's mixing sport and government, two things that you would think are separate spheres. I'm of the opinion that if there is enough structure in the place that the government can deal with whatever crops up, and if all parties are seriously considering a league, compromises will be made so we can move forward. That aside, we can definitely not expect Dancougar to remain competitive if the team is counting on a handful of guys to drift overseas every four years. Eventually, the college game will peak. You can only go so far with transient teams and short schedules. Guys like Jinguuji, Ben Whittaker, they've shown that they can compete at a high level. Guys like Vistula and Furuya on the bench have also shown sparks of talent. But they need more than four years, guys, to really develop that.

ANTHONY: You mention the guys on the bench, Hikaru, and that brings us to the next topic of the day. Listen to what Neil Wellesley had to say on media day...

NEIL: (tape) It's frustrating, you know, I've been in what, two games as a sub? It's nice to be in the World Cup, but it's like I'm wasting myself just sitting here. I'm not getting a chance to show what I can do.

ANTHONY: Wellesley, going into his senior season at the Kildare Maritime Academy, has played twenty six minutes in World Cup qualifying, both times as a sub. And he's not the first to voice his displeasure, a few other guys echoed the sentiment, although not as strongly. Hikaru, you were probably the most talented player on that World Cup 39 team that wasn't in the starting lineup. As someone who's been in this position, what can you say to Neil and other guys on the team who feel they're underused and underappreciated?

HIKARU: You know, I can definitely see where he's coming from, but the thing is, a national team is made up of a best twenty three, and out of that, there's an even better eleven. The players need to realize that just being on the team is an honor. There are an awful lot of guys out there who aren't even going to get this level of exposure, or the chance to compete at this level. All you can do is make the best of the time you get. He's got a point, half an hour of playing time is not nearly enough to gauge his talent, but at the same time, if you want to get in, you have to move up on that depth chart. Your time is spent better on the practice field than running your mouth. Furuya, the other forward on the bench, he wasn't nearly as vocal about lost time at school, and he's made an impact in some of the games he's come in. People were saying that he should've been on the field for Hazuki State instead of on the bench in someplace like Krasslor.

TONY: Those are good points, Hikaru, and I remember you really worked hard to get the shots that you did. Fact is, Wellesley is only the fourth best forward on that team, even during the regular season, Furuya was the better man. And he's not the only one who hasn't seen a lot of playing time, there's four or five guys on this roster who I still know nothing about, at least from the perspective of world competition. What it boils down to is that there are almost five thousand college players at any given time, and right now, the best six are in the starting lineup and a dozen guys right behind them. If you're not happy with running in that crowd, I think you're missing the point of the national team. You don't play for yourself.

ANTHONY: But is it good for these guys to have to take time off from their college team, the team that really needs them out there, in order to not play? How does that keep them fresh for when they need to be called upon?

TONY: This is something that's really bugged some people, particularly teams who lose players when big games are coming up. I really hope we don't end up in a situation where players are turning down the national team because of other commitments, or worse, teams refusing to release players for the game. Perhaps Charles DuPont is not doing a terribly good job getting everyone some time, but I think you really need to go with the eleven guys who give you the best chance to win the game. And Neil has been great for Kildare, but is he the kind of guy who can run the Dancougar offense for ninety minutes? I don't know. I think with Ikeda and Jinguuji, you've already got your best two out there.

HIKARU: I'd agree with that, and as long as you need backups, there's always going to be guys who feel like they're not getting a shot. It's an unfortunate reality we all face, that I had to face, and we move on. Neil has one more year to shine at Kildare, and if there's something like a Turtle Cup or an Oxen Cup when all's said and done, he may very well find himself on that if he works hard at it.

ANTHONY: All right, good stuff to start the show. When we come back, we'll take a look at the Bostopia match, we'll break down each position and see who has the edge. You're watching SportsTalk on DSPN2.

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.png

Who Is Margaret?

Political Genius Destined To Save Us All Or Mere Grocer's Daughter?

Following an article in Aeropags “Aeropag Tribune” a few short days ago, we at the Daily Mail have been doing some research into the “Margaret” they accuse Bostopians of having “a sick fantasy” for. The claim about paranoia may be a truer one, the claim that we have “twisted ideas about collectives” are obviously false.

Yet we must still question who this Margaret is. After some extensive questioning, we have come across a young lady who lives in the town of Palmton, who goes by the name of Margaret, and is a member of the Bostopian National Party's youth group. By no means is the young lady of the same political mindset as Alan Sentor.

For one, this young lady appears to know and understand the economy – this could be down to living in a family who deal in business. Understanding the need to save money, to spent it when needed and importantly how to budget are incredibly valuable in politics. Sentor himself has admitted that economics is not his strongest area of knowledge.

Our lady, meanwhile, is heading to University soon. While she is young, she understands the economy, and the political thoughts, processes and moral standards that she will live by will have been forming by now, and we will be covering what could be her rise through power.

Groups A to D (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13628446&postcount=24) ready!

Groups E to H (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13628467&postcount=25), ready!

3...

2...

1...

MATCHDAY ONE!

Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas with her sister Katherine Dallas at an (the only) Elven Temple in Jeruselem. Jacinta is dressed like a Dallas girl and Kate is dressed in a simple servant's dress.

Kate: How is everyone?

Jacinta:
Fine! Mum's just moved from Ariddia to Qazox. She's redecorating our Qazox embassasy because it looks a bit too much like funeral parlour. She's making it look more friendly for living people. Marie Antoinette wants to learn Hebrew, Hikfie is in Bostopia being her dumb self, Sally is pregnant, Flak can't play football due to broken foot so he's babysitting Marie, and your son Henry is on a military camping trip with the scouts.

Kate:
Gee, I'm missing out on a lot here. Found out I was allegic to some Elven herbs last week. Wasn't too well for the last week.

Jacinta: What's up with your hair? It gets shinier everytime I visit.
Kate: I don't know, must be the Elven food.
Jacinta: I don't think Silver hair suits you.
Kate: No, it doesn't. It looks more coppery now.

Jacinta: Anyway, your sister Marie made you something. It's a statuette of Mum.
Kate: It looks a bit weird ...
Jacinta: Well, it's supposed to be Mum naked but didn't quite turn out that way. She's going try again later.
Kate: I don't think artistic talent runs on our family, but we try. Say, I don't Mum has wings.

Jacinta: We was trying for an angel look but it looks more like a Harpie.
Kate: How is my clone going?
Jacinta: Kate Sallad? She's being yourself, literally.
Kate: And what about that Jacinta Sallad?

Jacinta: She's could be hear talking to you right now!
Kate: I know the difference between us and our Sallad clones. But she's makes a pretty good version of you except her lack of Hebrew gives her away too.
Jacinta: No girls can truly imitate us Dallas girls properly.
Kate: Nope, they don't have that Dazza factor our Mum gave us. Say, why does Marie want learn Hebrew?

Jacinta: She wants to enter some competition
Kate: Weird
Jacinta: So she's roped in Flak Sho to help her.
Kate: He's a good man, you're a lucky girl.

Jacinta: You look a little bloated?
Kate: It's from the allergic relation. I'm Puff Katey for now.
Jacinta: Puff Katey! Good one.
Kate: That's what the other servants call me.

Jacinta: Hey, you want kids still?
Kate: It's a bit hard if you're supposed to be celebate.
Jacinta: Don't worry, I'll be the surrogate!
Kate: That's too much trouble, you want your own kiddies first. Don't worry about me.

Jacinta: Your man can't be here, you know he's got work to do ... like running the country.
Kate: That's alright, I don't want to bother everyone with my problems.
Jacinta: If you want kids, just tell us.
Kate: Thanks sis

BILL: Pardon the interruption, but I'm Bill Harbough. Jack, the Wings give up the winner in minute seventy five! How depressing is that?

JACK: I'm Jack Marengue. For once, I'm sober after a loss, but that's only because I'll need all my alcohol for SLANI.

(They yak while the title screen plays.)

BILL: You been stocking up, I assume?

JACK: It's like I'm planning for Armageddon. If it can be imbibed, I possess it. That day is going to be the best and worst of my life all at the same time. (Back to the studio!) Welcome to PTI, boys and girls. Today, Harbough and I yap about Neil Wellesley's big mouth, Capitalizt SLANI's big win, and Kate Sallad's big... erm, future. But we begin with last night's World Cup opener against Bostopia. The Black Wings were in their first World Cup match, they quickly shook of the jitters, and they had a point up until minute seventy five, when second-half sub Jack Common fired a dagger into the Dancougar net. The goal came less than eight minutes after Boskov had equilized. Bill, this was a pretty good matchup, and I thought the Wings handled themselves very well in the spotlight. But it was the old foe, poor finishing, that did them in.

BILL: They had plenty of chances throughout the match, but they made the mistake of falling into the hole early. Minute twelve, Jaegar slots it home past a diving Yuji Watanabe, and this means that basically the Wings have to play the whole game from behind. And this really was not what Charles DuPont wanted coming out in that first match, it's important to not have to deviate from the game plan too soon. But once the defense started to get things under control, Ikeda started to push forward, and Morimoto sent in a few enterprising balls right before the half.

JACK: That free kick.

BILL: Jinguuji times that jump right, it's 1-1 going into the break, but he got up too late and didn't get a good position, anyway. By the same token, Northbrook nearly makes it 2-0 right off the restart, forty seventh, curls that shot just wide of the post. And you figure, if that goes in, the Wings are done. Down two, second half, they're not coming back.

JACK: I thought they made good adjustments in the second half, I liked bringing on Ootawara almost immediately to get some more offense. Underwood was really struggling with the pace of the game - he's still a kid, his time will come. What's curious to me is that Ikeda was drifting back in the midfield looking for the ball to start something. He doesn't normally get involved with the midfield game, and I'm not sure if he honestly thought he could help out by expanding his reach, or if he was just frustrated at his lack of touches.

BILL: Probably a little bit of both, since the back four for Bostopia did a tremendous job. Very few times did the Wings manage to punch through, and each time they wasted it. Ikeda shot wide in the sixtieth, and Leyton went over the bar back in the first half. When they finally got it, minute sixty seven, you could almost watch them lighten up.

JACK: So, it looked like a broken play, with Whittaker squaring it for Boskov. Boskov's cross got blocked by Porter, and instead of hit it back out, he took a crack. It's the kind of impatient shot that was hurting them all game, but this one took a lucky deflection in. There were a lot of bodies in the box, no one was really sure who it came off, but that goal really breathed some new life into them. So it hurt that much more when Common dribbled past Weatherford and beat Watanabe to the near post.

BILL: But it was a perfect shot, though, hard and low. Tough for anybody to deal with one of those.

JACK: But at the same time, if you're Watanabe and you see your guy get beat, what you really need to do is come in a bit to cut off the shooting lane. Don't give him so much to aim at, or he's going to bury it.

BILL: So the Wings lose their World Cup opener 2-1, and now they go up against Capitalizt SLANI, the holders, who annihilated Cafundeu 6-3 in their first match today. Six goals against the world's number eight, Jack!

JACK: Yes, and that's why I'm so concerned. SLANI are not going to rest on their laurels and float through this tournament, they're sending a message that they're the team to beat. And if they put up six on Cafundeu, what are they going to do to us? I'd venture to call it the great mismatch of this tournament, and we may very well see Watanabe give up eight or nine. Imperial might have second thoughts about him after we're done.

BILL: I'd like to be slightly more optimistic here...

JACK: About what?!

BILL: Jack, we know the Wings are going to lose, but you'd think that having seen them dissect the Monopolists, the Wings can look at the game tape, figure out what's going on, and make the adjustments so they only give up maybe four or five.

JACK: Here's how I see it. If we score a goal against Capitalizt SLANI, it is a victory. If we score two, give each player a medal and build a bronze statue outside the National Stadium. And if they score three, then Margaret herself will descend from the rafters in transcendent glory, her shimmering gown and majesty over all that is probabilistic declaring to the world that the underdog shall have his day. Of course, this is all irrespective of the fact that SLANI are still going to win by four or five.

BILL: Perhaps we need those chicken boys again?

JACK: Unless they're going to slingshot chickens to the moon amidst Jello wrestling and robot ninjas, it's not going be enough, I assure you.

BILL: Speaking of ninjas, our next topic for discussion touches the realm of the weird...

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

WORLD CUP XL
Match Day 1 YAFOR 2


Seven. For some it is a lucky number, for Qazox, torture. Seven is the number of times the team has previously advanced to the World Cup, and the number of times that Qazox has failed to advance to the 2nd round. Seven is now also the number of World Cup matches in a row the team has lost following today's 3-1 loss to Yafor 2.

Vorin Dariegan scored two goals within the first 5 minutes to give The Golden Wolves an early 2-0 lead, that they would not relinquish. Anderson Tarricone made it 2-1 with a goal at the 44 minute half, giving the Pheonix some momentum going into the half.

But crucial mistakes by the defense allowed the third goal, as a turnover by Cyrus Stasinos, allowed Danilo Silva to slip by and plaster home the last goal of the match in the 56th minute.

Up next for Qazox is Demot , 4-2 winners over co-hosts Krytenia, at The Mound in Secklow. Can the Pheonix snap the losing streak? Can they slow down the Demot attack? Or will the team prepare once again for a trip back home to wonder "What the heck went wrong this time?"


QAZOX Qualifiers and Playoff SCORING:
Kallie Jaus- 8 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 8
Renna Valladores- 7
Stevie Spingler- 2
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Jeffie Huhman- 1


Qazox WORLD CUP Scoring:
Anderson Tarricone



SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia in Krytenia L 1-2 QSPN2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan W 2-1 QSPN2 (5-1-2)
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. W 3-1 QSPN2 (6-1-2) CLINCHED PLAYOFF BERTH
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) L 1-5 QSPN (6-1-3)

PLAYOFFS:
P1: @ Prux L 1-2 QSPN
P2: vs. Prux @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) W 4-0 QSPN
(Qazox advances on 5-2 aggregate)

WORLD CUP:
M1: Yafor 2 @ Draconium Arena, Caversham L 1-3 QSPN
M2: Demot @ The Mound, Secklow (15:30 local, 22:00 QST) QSPN
M3: Krytenia @ Isserson Stadium, Emberton (15:00 local, 21:30 QST) QPSN
Record: 0-0-1
Qualifer Record: 6-1-3
Playoff record: 1-0-1 (+2 GD)
OVERALL 7-1-5

Green Wombat Daily Tattler

WORLD CUP Draw



Despite the similar titles, this is not a repeat of the last headline. Green wombat and Deahanjeiguk drew 2-2, following a pair of goals, in the 27th and 72nd minutes, from Mike Sink, who had been rather quiet this World Cup campaign. But goals from Jeong Jihun in the 39th and An Junggeun in the 83rd tied the match.

But for the first time in team history, the Wombats didn't lose a World Cup match, but the road ahead does not get any easier as the next match is against Jeruselem at Draconium Arena in Caversham. If somehow the Wombats manage to pull off the upset and get a win, then they will basically be in control of their destiny as they attempt to advance to the next round.

OOC - still no broadband <sigh>. Have done what I can here. Star, there's a first RP in from me for the discussed transfer.

Somewhere deep in SBIS HQ

"...still can't get through Sir! Two weeks, and we're still blocked from contact!"

"Keep trying Alexander. Just keep trying - that's all I can ask."

"Sir! Portal 567jgx56q is firing!"

"What's coming through, John?"

"It's.... It's.... an ant, sir."

"A what?"

"An ant. A eusocial insect of the family Formicidae, sir."

"I know what an ant is, you moron. What I want to know is what on earth is it doing coming through a portal?"

"It seems to be carrying something, sir. A very, very small sheet of paper, sir."

"And what does it say?"

"Empire drawn vs. Starblaydia, Casari, Yafalonia and Bazor 2. First match ends in victory against Yafalonian-Bazorites; Belmore scores three; Belmowitz scores fourth. SDB requests discussion with Imperial reps at Starblaydia-Empire match"

"Curious. Can't remember winning our first match in many a year. Maybe there's hope for a change."

"And what about that final sentence, sir?"

"Probably nothing significant; I imagine it's just a request for some sharing of information between two long-established nations."

"But shouldn't we refer it to ISPI? Just in case?"

"Probably a sensible, John. Alexander - take the note to ISPI. In the meantime, I want us to keep trying to re-establish contact with other realities.... Double shift until we do!"

Payback!

Today the Tynelian Hippos gained a measure of revenge against Wentland in their 5-0 pounding in the opening round of the World Cup group play. As fans of last Cup may recall. After Tynelia started out with a strong win over Bazalonia to open their group play an upset loss to Wentland proved to be the beginning of the end as the Hippos lost their final match and found themselves on the outside looking in at the teams who did advance to the knockouts.

The Hippos started out fast and furious with a pair of goals by Mandy Lynn sandwiched around one by William MacDougal in the first twenty five minutes and that assault seemed to have rocked Wentland back on their heels though they managed to recover to keep the score at 3-0 at the half. However Tynelian wasn’t done yet as Lynn completed the hat trick in minute 59 at which point most of the starters were taken out to prevent injury with the match well in hand. The scoring was completed by Sally MacDougal getting her first goal of any type in this year’s cup due to limited playing time in minute 81. A strong performance by both Rachel Ellis and Matt Mitchell kept the shutout as the Hippos appear to have made a statement that nothing short of the knockouts will be acceptable.

Ironically this first match win hasn’t really been a sign of good fortune for the Hippos in the past. In their past seven attempts the team has gone 3-1-3 in their opening matches, now 4-1-3 after today’s win. Of the three previous day 1 wins only once has the team actually made it to the knockouts, a feat equaled by the one time they managed to do so after losing the first match. One important point, the coach of that WC38 team that won their first match and advanced to the knockouts? Current Coach Lee Andrews. Ironically this was Tynelia’s only time they got beyond the first knockout match, yet somehow find themselves in the top 10 in the world despite only 1 finish ever beyond that point.

Now everyone is looking forward for an exciting match up against Milchama on day 2 as two of the three highest scoring squads from day 1 go head to head in what many expect to be a ten goal minimum battle. In fact offense is such a big key that Tynelia’s 5 goal effort finds it in second place behind Michama’s 6 goals. Keepers beware in this one and scoreboard operators may want to make sure they have a system designed for double digit goals as these two scoring machines prepare to do battle.

<elsewhere>

Brother James delivers his sermon to the congregation gathered at the church after the Wentland match was completed.

“Rejoice my brothers and sister. The Lord of Scores hath granted us revenge against the Wentlanders who dared thwart his glory last Cup. In fact he hath so turned his back on them that not a single blessing was given to our foes this match and instead all were sent by His divine foot to our team. But now there is a great task ahead. Indeed now our team must face another team who hath been granted the light of our Lord upon their scoring touch. Indeed now let us pray silently to our Lord that he shall find our Hippos worthiest of His blessings this next match that we do not preen too highly or grow too smug and proud after this great triumph. Remember to be humble before His presence and know that His scoring touch shall light down upon you that you may inspire others of His righteous ways that he will again shine down on the field of play. But let it be our Hippos to whom he shall shine His glory down upon most brightly so the knockouts may again be ours. Amen.”

<elsewhere-er>

“Specialist Anderson come in.” the president said calmly as Anderson stepped inside wondering why Agent Smith was not around as his nominal superior was always underfoot at presidential meetings.

“What can I do for you Mr. President?” Anderson asked simply.

“Agent Smith. He has to go. His efforts are looking more futile every day.” The President said baldly.

Looking a bit confused Anderson asked “But Mr. President, didn’t you appoint him personally? I was under the impression you were aware of what he was and was not capable of.” Anderson said somewhat surprised though it didn’t show in his voice.

“Appointed? Bah, the only reason he had the job was that I had to promise Vice president Carlis a highest level intelligence source to get the Dominionist Party support for me in the last election. I had hoped you’d be able to teach him the right way of getting things done but it’s not going to be is it?” the president asked with a faint hope.

“No sir, he might be a serviceable Adams level agent in a few years with some maturity but he’s too in love with his own ideas and doesn’t plan for all eventualities. He doesn’t listen to me.” Anderson answered before raising an eyebrow and adding, “Wouldn’t an alliance with the Populists and Radical Democrats have gotten you the majority instead of the Dominionists? Their policies are a bit closer to your own preferences.”

“It was considered but neither party wanted to see the other have someone as the Veep and alone neither had enough to get us over the top. The Socialists were also pushing for a deal with the Dominionists and they could have put Hemphrey over the top if that went through. I’m too good a Centrist to let that happen.” The president explained. “Do you have any suggestions as to what to do with Smith or who can replace him. I’m afraid we can’t give you your old job back. Its against Tynelian law to bring an Anderson back to Smith rank so it has to be someone else.”

“I have an idea...” Specialist Anderson began.

"Don't you bloody dare move a muscle, Constable," came the direct order. It barely reached the ears of Police Constable Eddie Morello, however, who was too busy wondering which Casaran fan he was about to clobber with his baton. The Casarans had turned up drunk, as per usual, and their riot of appalling design, as per usual, was making it hard for the Starblaydi security forces at the Bekkside Arena to to keep tabs on. Both countries were known for their design, in particular kits, but at two wildly polar opposite styles, one clean and smooth, the other a riot of contrast.

Rioting was about the right word, as the mostly-intoxicated fans were singing up a storm: it was surely going to get a little messy, World Cup opening match or not.

"I said," the Sergeant in charge, just feet behind Morello, said again, "do not move a muscle, Morello."

The teams had warmed up, and the Casarans were abusing the Starblaydi. The national anthems were played, and the Casarans abused the Starblaydi. They would likely abuse Starblaydi players during the Raiigar, too, but not, surely during the minute's silence in memory of Simeone Di Bradini? They respect death, surely, Morello thought. The bastards.

Evidently not. Barely a seat's width away from him, some idiot Casaran in their god-awful tartan mockery of a shirt was yelling and singing, along with all the others. Starblaydi fans knew better, and kept their side of the stadium in total silence as the players stood around the centre circle. Starblaydia's black-clad team had their arms around each others shoulders, and while the Casaran players in their change-kit white tartan number weren't exactly praying for the man's soul, they were at least in a line and not making any noise.

The fans, however, were doing everything they could to disrupt the moment. The boos and whistles from Starblaydi fans began to ring out, with individual shouts of 'shut up', 'quiet', 'have respect' and similar being aimed at the visitors. For Morello, he was getting close to breaking point, having to stand right next to them, hear every single piece of filth from their mouths. Their gestures were equally as bad, but one was coming closer to him, pulling a strange face and gibbering something drunkenly. He reached out to Morello.

"Back!" Morello shouted.

"Steady!" The Sergeant yelled.

"Fuck you," cried the Casaran, "and Di Bradini too! Nurrcrush!" He yelled, rapping Morello on the top of his armoured riot helmet.

"Morello!" Screamed the Sergeant, but it was too late.

The Constable's baton came round in a swift arc and caught the Casaran on the shoulder. Not hurting him enough, Morello swung the heavy black stick again and cracked him over the head. The man started to fall, but the rush of Casaran bodies towards Morello was swift. One grabbed his arm, another shoved him, others threw whatever they had in their hands at him. In response, the police charged in to rescue their comrade. Utter chaos ensued in one corner of the stadium.

***

"Just look at the passion in the players' eyes," said Sven Motsonsson, the notable Starblaydi Sports commentator, "as they perform this most poignant of Raiigar dances. You can see they're performing it for the great man, just before the kick-off here in Tabeck..."

"The stands," his co-commentator Trefor Trefor interrupted, "the away end-"

"Oh my," Sven said, "Casaran fans, clashing with the Police here! It's terrible, violence here at the fortieth World Cup, and it's the Casarans!"





OOC: I'm extrapolating the violence that was seen around Turkoman/East Antairess matches in the BoF - anyone get the picture it may actually be the Starblaydi Police who are the one constant in all the fighting? A 'regular' match report will follow, but this is just for a little extra Starblaydi/Casaran spice. They know who fixed WC29!

JACK: All right, we're going to spend the next Five Good Minutes with Black Wings goalkeeper Yuji Watanabe. Yooj, thanks for coming on the show.

YUJI: Hey, thanks for having me.

JACK: So, I'm sure you've heard us and everyone else talk about how hopeless the game against Capitalizt SLANI is going to be tonight. That you're going to get beaten in this, that, and every other direction, and they'll have to carry you from the field at halftime as a broken hull of a man. (Yuji laughs.) But now, this is your time to fire back. You've heard what we have to say, now how do you respond?

YUJI: Well, they're an incredible team, and having to go up against them is really intimidating. Although I think people are giving up too early to soften the blow, you know, so they can say, "Oh, well, we were supposed to lose that bad." But that doesn't make it okay. I mean, if you're playing your game and you get blown away, I don't know if there's really an excuse for that. You didn't try hard enough. If I have a bad game and give up six goals, it's on me. But we're not going to roll over out there. Every shot, I'm going for it. Physically we should be up to it. If we all work together as a unit, play good team defense, I think we can hang in there.

BILL: Charles DuPont has said time and again that you can play physically with anyone. But Yuji, that high octane game of SLANI, where they attack, attack some more, and for a change of pace, attack... can the defense really hold up? Should you guys switch up to a 4-4-2 and hang back more and hope for that counterattack?

YUJI: No, I don't think so. That's a really negative way to play, and nobody wants to see that in the World Cup. And we don't want to do that either. When you think about it, as soon as you change your gameplan to specifically hold back one team, they've already beaten you. You're not going to be able to play as freely and adjust as well when you're already off your pace trying to do something completely different. We don't want to look at this as a lost game. If we're going to lose, that's fine, but we want to do it on our terms, our way. We want teams that beat us to come away thinking that they had to earn it.

JACK: (Laughs) Well, it's still going to be awhile until that actually means something, with Dancougar sitting outside the top forty.

YUJI: (Laughs) Right, right, but just the same, it means a lot to us to be able to go out and compete. We want to leave it all on the field so that our fans can at least be proud of the fact that we got here. There's obviously a lot of strong teams out there, and even for the good ones, it's not guaranteed you'll get in. We know we got some breaks and took advantage of that, but we really want people to see us for our football, not for the intangibles.

BILL: Let's talk about the game against Bostopia, specifically the game-winning goal. Tell us a little about that.

YUJI: Well it's like you guys said on the show right after, I was out of position to play that shot. Ev looked like he was in a good position, but he was able to get around, Ev stumbled a bit, and that gave him space for the shot. I was playing farther off than I should have, I mean, I was a bit worried about the far side. But I should've just left that to my guys, Musashi was in there to cut out any cross. Tried to do too much, gave him too much of an opening.

JACK: Let's talk about you, specifically, now. You're leaving college a year early to play in Cafundeu. You'll be facing shots from teammate Hideo Ikeda, and possibly others as the transfer season heats up. Tell us what this means to you, and what you hope to accomplish.

YUJI: Well, it's a real honor to be playing in a league like that. Great rivalries between teams, the fans are great, but most of all I think it's the challenge. I certainly want to get better so I can come back and help Dancougar do well, and if we're going to do that, then playing overseas is the way to do it. Because you're always on the field, you know, games almost every week for the better part of the year. You get better conditioned, you get used to the style of game that other guys like to play, and that all feeds into your own development. I'm really looking forward to the chance to face top strikers regularly, that's the best way to hone my skills.

BILL: All right, well good luck tonight. That's Dancougar, Capitalizt SLANI; if nothing else, there will be goals. But hopefully not too many, thanks Yuji.

YUJI: I'll stop the first one just for you guys.

JACK: (Laughs) All right, take care.

The dressing room was ominously silent.

Dave Eager had his head in his hands, not wanting to look. Keith Bassett was staring into space. Johnny Dexter and Ray Jarvis couldn't make eye contact with anyone, they hadn't even got changed after their red cards.

Norman Hacker was in the corner of the room, slightly steaming.

Somewhere the sounds of the Tynelian celebrations could be heard from down the corridor. Occasionally the sound of a Wentland fan chanting "Hacker Out!" could be distinguished. But mostly it was Tynelia.

After half-an-hour no-one had said anything. A Tynelian assistant coach knocked on the door and poked his head in to have a quick word of consolation before the press conference. But Hacker had glared at her and she quickly vanished.

It was Dom Katz who broke the silence.

"Well, say something, someone."

Hacker was right at his throat. "DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME TO SAY SOMETHING!! YOU FUCKING USELESS WASTE OF FUCKING SPACE! I GIVE YOU A FUCKING CHANCE IN THE TEAM AND YOU PLAY LIKE A USELESS FUCKING TWAT!!! WHAT WAS THAT FUCKING DEFENDING!!! A HACKER TEAM NEVER LETS FIVE FUCKING GOALS IN!!! FUCKING SHITE!!!! A RECORD FUCKING DEFEAT!!! ON NORMAN HACKER'S WATCH!!!! YOU FUCKING USELESS FUCKERS!!!!"

The team was shocked into silence following this outburst. Hacker was purple. "WE'RE IN THE FINALS AND PLAYING LIKE WANKERS!!! WE'RE GOING TO GO...huff...HOME WITHOUT ANY FUCKING PRIDE!!! WE...wheeze...WE'VE GOT TO WIN TWICE BECAUSE OF...pant...THE GOAL..."

Bert Bridges was alarmed. "Boss...calm down, for God's sake..."

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!! THAT...huff...ATROCITY CANNOT...huh...huh..."

Suddenly Hacker clutched the air and collapsed to the ground. "Oh God..."

"...who are apparently far more noisy than their counterparts in Tabeck."

"So what do you think of the group?"

"Pretty decent overall."

"Predictions?"

"I don't do predictions."

"Zwangzug can win it. Seven points, probably, if we draw Bettia."

"In that case I'll predict they don't. If I'm wrong, I won't mind at all."

"But look at this Bazalope side. Stephan Smith in the starting eleven? He's only taking the exceptionally well-maintained pitch because Johnathon Kelly was arrested!"

"Hmm..."

"...Swift passes to B-no! Deguela takes control, sends it forward to Maini, who dribbles around Chia, shoots, and scores! Zwangzug takes the lead, 1-0 here in the nineteenth minute..."

"...and at halftime we'll have an update on the scores around the tournament, including the other Group G match, that's the Jasi'yun team versus Bettia. And how the other Capitalizt team is starting their Cup defense-or should I say, attack of whoever gets in the way?"

"You should say something when we get there. But at the moment, Theo Matou seems reluctant to whistle."

"There can't be too much injury time, it's been a quiet first half."

"Fjord passes forward, and-Prefect intercepts! Prefect storming up the sidelines now, just barely in bounds, passes to Yunn who will-send it in."

"And there's the whistle."

"Just barely in time. Let's have a look at the replay then, outstanding play by number forty-two."

"Heading to the sidelines to towel off, he must have worked up a sweat. Scores from around the tournament now, over in Norton Squornshelous is..."

"Kanga throws it forward to Thomas Yunn. Yunn sends a long pass to...Smith! Smith's got it! And he'll knock it in!"

"2-1 Bazalonia..."

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

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ALGO ESTÁ ERRADO COM ESSE TIME

THE FIRST HALF: the expectation of the Cafundelense supporters for the first game of the World Cup group phase was a high one. After all, the Monopolists entered in the competition as a top 10 nation, ready to do an excellent job in the competition. And because the first game was a huge one, probably the biggest of the entire group stage. Against the World Cup winners of Capitalizt SLANI, the red-black team fought to continue winning against this particular opponents, but was unable to do so. With many mistakes made during the whole game, the team lost.

Maybe the offensive strategy maintained by the coach Caio Meback wasn’t the best solution for the team in this game. The UCS team had a very offensive strategy too, but using more attackers, and they started better. Cafundéu’s players missed many passes and couldn’t attack well. This ended in two goals of Luiso, who found space inside the Cafundelense area to score. Later, Marcelinho even tried to put Cafundéu in the game with a nice goal, but Brown increased the champs’ advantage soon after. In the end of the half, Flecha keep the hopes of the Monopolists alive after scoring the second goal, receiving a pass from Augusto César, invading the area, dribbling the keeper and shooting to the open goal.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Luiso’s first goal): “Now Cafundéu lost the ball again in the midfield, this situation doesn’t seem good for the rrrrrred-black team, who can’t starrrrrrt a good attack. Mason with the ball, good pass to Brrrrrrown, who avoids the marrrrrrking of Jorrrrrginho. The ball is passed to Luiso, Souza fails to follow him, he invades the arrrrrrea, shoots... and it’s a goal! Goal for Capitalizt SLANI! Luiso, number one... one? How currrrrrious number for an attacker! Now it’s Capitalizt SLANI one, Cafundéu zerrrrrro! Your city has a prrrrrrroblem with water that falls frrrrrrom the sky, also known as rrrrrrrain? So, you need to prrrrrrrotect yourrrrrrself! Use rrrrrrraincoats and umbrrrrrrrellas Prrrrrradamar!”

THE SECOND HALF: the disadvantage of Cafundéu wasn’t big when the teams returned for the second half, so the supporters were still confident that the Monopolists could manage to get a draw or even a win. But, it was clear that Cafundéu wasn’t playing well, making many mistakes and failing to attack well. Capitalizt SLANI wasn’t able to take advantage of this bad performance of their opponents in the first half, but things were different in the second. They returned ready to guarantee their victory. In the first ten minutes, both teams stuck in the midfield, fighting for the ball and unable to attack in numbers. But, after that, Capitalizt SLANI prepared the play that decided the game. Tillner reached the left wing and crossed to the area. The defender Hyo-gyo appeared suddenly inside the area and headed to score the goal.

That goal was decisive for the game. Cafundéu’s players, which already weren’t in a good day, became even more nervous. Capitalizt SLANI could completely dominate the game. And you must note that they weren’t even playing in top form. If they were... they’d simply destroy the Monopolists. Da Silva was sent off while trying to get the ball desperately from an opponent in the midfield. Moisés failed in saving a weak shot of Luiso, which ended in the fifth goal of the UCS team. Already defeated, Cafundéu scored the third goal with a good long ranged shot made by Augusto César. But Capitalizt SLANI was in a comfortable position and, in the last minute, scored the sixth goal in a penalty kick, made by Marcelo Rocha and scored by Luiso.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Augusto César’s goal): “In the other game of this grrrrrrroup, Bostopia scorrrrrrred the second goal, and now is winning the game against Dancougar. Herrrrrrre, Cafundéu seems alrrrrrready defeated, but therrrrrrre arrrrrre two morrrrrre games to come, and the Monopolists can win them and continue to the next phase of the Worrrrrrld Cup. Capitalizt SLANI is getting this important win in the clash of titans. Game seems morrrrrre quiet now. Silveirrrrrra... to Augusto César. The left-back contrrrrrrols the ball, rrrrrrreaches the entrrrrrance of the arrrrrrea, shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Let’s see the rrrrrreplay! Augusto César, number six! Cafundéu thrrrrrree, Capitalizt SLANI five! News to starrrrrrt your day well-inforrrrrrmed... O Jutense newspaper... your newspaper!”

CURIOUS MOMENTS: a big game such this one usually doesn’t have curious or funny moments, as both teams have talented players less likely to make mistakes. Also, it was a very exciting game, with many goals. But... curious things happen everytime. First of all, there was a monk working as a referee in this game, who showed a yellow card to Silveira when he said ****. He also prayed for the soul of Marcelo Rocha when the defender made the penalty. Another interesting fact was the number of banners and messages paying homage to Simeone Di Bradini, something that was seen in both teams in form of black ribbon in the shirts.

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: a loss. Against the World Cup champions. Not an unexpected loss, but a loss that hurts our supporters, who were expecting a good performance and a good result in this game. But this is not the end of the world, Cafundéu still has two games to play in this stage of the World Cup. Caio Meback told me: “I’ll have to make changes for the next games. The players seemed too nervous... some can’t play the second game, I’ll need to use other players. You’ll see that Cafundéu will be another team in the second game.” The midfielder Silveira said: “They were the best team today. Unfortunately. But our team is a strong one and we can win the next two games, so let’s focus on them.”


CAFUNDÉU 3x6 CAPITALIZT SLANI

Place: The Augustus Place, Penningworth, Starblaydia.
Attendance: 75,808 people.
Referee: Fr. Sophronius the Merciful (The Archregimancy).
MOTM: Migelo Luiso (Capitalizt SLANI).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Jorginho (Carlos Magno 45’), Da Silva and Marcelinho; Flecha (Rubiano 77') and Saulo (Careca 60’).
Coach: Caio Meback.

http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/2382/comeb9.png CAPITALIZT SLANI: Gwaŋ-yūŋ; Alegro, Hyo-gyo and ʼIn-ju; Mason, Ellis (Hoover 63’) and Tillner; Brown, Sa-mi (Taylor 70’), ʼI-sam (King 45’) and Luiso.
Coach: Alfreda Alesanka.

Goals:CAF: Marcelinho 30’ , Flecha 45’+ , Augusto César 82’.
CSL: Luiso 12’/15’/78’/94’ , Brown 34’ , Hyo-gyo 57’.

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Cafundéu – formation for the game against Bostopia: Bartolomeu; Vital, Alex and Lionel; Silveira, Gian, Augusto César, Marcelinho and Moreira; Flecha and Careca.
Coach: Caio Meback.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Daniel Peters (Bazalonia).

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WC Goalscorers – All (Proper):

13- Flecha (1)
6- Saulo
5- Marcelinho (1)
4- Moreira, Augusto César (1)
3- Careca
2- Silveira, Da Silva, Alex
1- Rubiano, Carlos Magno, Gian

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Demot-ivation
by Rami Niblick in Avidia

ONE nation, one hope, one flag, and one colour; sky blue. The tubthumping, do-or-die Cyan Army returned to regular service last night after twenty-eight years away from the biggest stage of them all; the World Cup. The New City Stadium saw over seventy thousand baying Krytenian fans cheering on their underdog heroes against Group A favourites Demot; the plucky Aces fell short though, and were downed by four goals to two.

The hosts started in a positive mood, with Adam Toivonen's new-look side looking to make an early impact. The marauding runs from Michael Aquino and David Wolverton down the wings saw an early rearguard from the men in orange, with one particularly close moment seeing Cao Juli clearing the lines after her 'keeper had misjudged a cross. The pressure held for a good twenty minutes, before a breakaway saw Demot almost take the lead. Vahala Quan found himself in space after a desperate clearance, and cut a ball through to Maria Hart. She managed to cut inside Peter Pojencic, but pulled her shot past the post.

The first goal was coming though, and it was the Dynamo who scored it from a set play. A Cruril Songsteel corner found its way to the back stick, and though Steve Sparrow got the ball away, it fell only as far as Quan, who snaffled the ball home with a well-struck drive through the crowd. Quan's joy was clear to see as he ran towards the sidelines; he soon disappeared under a mass of tangerine and black, however. The goal set the pattern for the rest of the half, but despite a lot of pressure, Demot couldn't add a second. Toivonen, especially, did well, tipping a fierce shot from Insaki Roma over the bar.

One-nil at half-time then, and with both teams giving as good as they got, this one was far from over. As the teams kicked off for the second period of play, it was clear that Krytenia were playing to get back into the game as they once again set about the Demot defence. This time though, they did find a way through - in rather controversial circumstances. Aquino, playing the game of his life, charged into the penalty area before laying the ball onto Raphael Kennedy. Kennedy appeared to be clipped as he ran past Zanven Swordhand, and hit the deck; replays would later show no such contact was made. Referee Carlos Suarez of Kura-Pelland, though, made the call as he saw it and pointed to the spot; he was immediately surrounded by players on both sides, the Krytenians calling for a straight red, the Demot players protesting Swordhand's innocence. A yellow for the defender was the final decision; Kennedy scored the penalty with ease before diving into the crowd (earning himself a yellow as well in the process).

The joy was short-lived, however, as just two minutes later there followed the most sickening moment of the match. Swordhand and Carl Lismond both went for the same ball; Lismond just about got it, but Swordhand had over-committed and the players collided in a tangle of legs, with Lismond's clearly broken slightly above the ankle. Swordhand himself suffered a gashed foot, and limped off bleeding and with a rising feeling of nausea. Lismond, however, was in no position to stand, let alone limp, and after several minutes was taken from the pitch and straight to hospital. Kevin Breitenreiter was the man who came on for the Aces, whilst Alan Lockdale entered play for Swordhand.

Breitenreiter, sensing his chance in the team, was eager to please, and did so very quickly. A move started by that man Wolverton on the right came in to Austin, who beat his man and lofted the ball to the young substitute. Breitenreiter chested the ball and slammed it past the all-too-slow Avril Longswan; two-one, and rapture for the fans. The lead lasted all of fifty seconds. Demot powered back from the kickoff, and when Toivonen could only block a Hart shot, Roma was there to tuck home the quickfire equaliser.

If Kennedy's goal was controversial, then the strike that put Demot in front was downright dodgy. This time, it was Roma making the run; Sparrow was nowhere near the striker as he appeared to tumble over his own feet in the box, and Suarez pointed to the spot for the second time in the game. Roma took the penalty himself, and made it three to two.

Krytenia pressed hard for an equaliser, and almost got it in the sixth minute of injury time. Everyone, including Toivonen, rushed upfield for a Krytenian free-kick; though Aquino's aim was true with the cross, Jim Austin's was not, and the ball was cleared to Roma, who had an unobstructed path (all sixty yards of it) to the unguarded Krytenian goal and four-two.

It's off to Ellisham next for what can only be described as a must-win game against the Yaforites. I've been Rami Niblick, and my bum has been squeaky.

Krytenia - 2
Kennedy 51 pen
Breitenreiter 62

Demot - 4
Quan 36
Roma 63, 78 pen, 90+6

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group D: 0-1-0 (3)
MD1: HAN(24) 2-2 (46)GRW (@ ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD2: SQU(4) --- (24)HAN (@ Brecklands, Linford)
MD3: JER(13) --- (24)HAN (@ Walton Gardens, Simpson)


HAN DRAW IN FIRST MATCH

http://www.football.co.uk/shared/images/news/southkoreatogo4.jpg

AIGBURTH (Krytenia) - The numbers are starting to prove us right, as the Han drew their first match against Green Wombat. In a surprisingly unfit display, goals by Jeong Jihun and An Junggeun helped bring the total number of goals scored to FOUR (2-2). The fans are probably starting to get a little worried as the Imperial Team stretch their luck ahead of the super match against Squornshelous, who rarely fail to progress. Indeed, Green Wombat might have won themselves a breather, but the Han lost their chance capitalize on an early win.

Stunningly, Ioshido has banked all of his hope on this next match nonetheless. "Green Wombat are not a very strong team, and I didn't want the players to become too tired ahead of the match against Squornshelous. I would have appreciated a win, but the players played realistically. We will need all of our energy to win this next match." It will likely be an early ride home if they lose to Squornshelous, since the final group will pit the team against an equally impressive Jeruselem side. However, with Squornshelous already having whipped Jeruselem in an astounding 3-1 display, there are few fans left hoping for a win. At least, we can hope that the Han will not end up in FOURth place in the Group - otherwise, it will be a long wait for another chance.

SIC - Secret or Silly, depending on your point of view...

病痛唖 - Byeong Tonga (Interrogator)
CI1 - Casari Interrogator #1
CI2 - Casari Interrogator #2
V - victim

ooc: some of the following may be visually disconcerting, even though it's not really happening. So... just be aware and if you're not over 18... grow some hair and pretend you are.

CI1: I'm glad that that last guy talked. It makes our job easier.

CI2: Whatever. This Han guy is doing all of the work for us, so I don't even know why we're here...

CI1: Well, here comes the next victim.

病痛唖: *prods victim with a electric pole*

V: *vomits*

病痛唖: That's a taste of you're going to get if you don't cooperate.

V: *vomits some more*

病痛唖: Hmm. Maybe this one is sick...

CI1: Sick? With what? I'm allergic to illness! *sneezes*

CI2: You might as well get that gas mask again. I'd figure you're allergic to that too?

CI1: I'm not allergic to that! *sneezes*

病痛唖: Do you people do anything but talk?

CI2: Welcome to Casari. You'll be lucky if you hear one sensibly intelligent thing tonight.

病痛唖: I think I just heard it...

V: Heard what?

病痛唖: The one sensibly intelligent thing that I'll hear tonight.

V: Wait, then why I am being interrogated then?

病痛唖: Because I have to try and get that secret intelligence in your head. Right? Now let's begin before I call in a brain surgeon!

V: Alright! I'll talk! Just don't... prod me... with ... that...

CI1: *sneezes*

V: Is he alright?

病痛唖: He's fine. Just tell me what you know.

V: Because I'm allergic to sneezing.

病痛唖: Oh, you've got to be kidding me...

V: I can't handle sneezing. It's just that...

CI1: *sneezes twice*

V: *vomits*

CI1: *sneezes*

V: *vomits*

CI1: *sneezes*

V: *vomits*

CI1: *sneezes*

V: *vomits*

CI1: *sneezes*

V: *vomits*

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: %$#^ this... *leaves*

V: *vomits*

CI2: Could you get the medics in here? The floors starting to change colors.

Jeruselem Government News

5 minutes with Jennifer Sloan

JGN: Are you Jeruselem's top Karate female?
Jen: Not quite, but I'm working on it. There's a few girls better than me still.

JGN: How does football and Karate mix?
Jen: Karate gives me the conditioning and the mental discipline to keep me in football. So if I'm not playing football, I'm working the next level in Karate.

JGN: What got into the martial arts?
Jen: I'm a big Dazzi fan. I wanted to be able kick ass when I need to.

JGN: Is there a man in your life?
Jen: Not yet, but no time yet. If course if I find him, he's got to be fitness fanatic like me too.

JGN: Why not become a full-time professional martial arts trainer?
Jen: No money in it. Football is where the money is. One must follow the money trail.

JGN: What are you going to when you retire from football?
Jen: I'd set up a Karate school for women. Women need to learn how to protect themselves in times of need.

JGN: Is your Catholic upbringing incompatible with the Asian philosophy you learn in martial arts?
Jen: No, if you're dogmatic about your religion - it will but I think we can all learn about each other because every philosophy has things in common.

JGN: You've saved a few lives with your martial arts already?
Jen: Yes, my school gets a few Catholic hating nutcases wanting to cause trouble. I've had to put myself into harm's way twice to save other people. I think nothing of it.

JGN: Who's your hero?
Jen: I've got many heroes. Wise men and women of the past.

JGN: Do you have temptation to hit a referee?
Jen: Not me, I think Kara Kool might but she's a bit tempermental. I won't do it unless the referee attacks me first. Kate Sallad looks like she wants to hit a ref sometimes.

JGN: How did you come into this world?
Jen: I'm legitimate and I know who my father is unlike those Sallad and Dallas girls. Mum says when probably in a public swimming pool.

JGN: Will you score goals against Green Wombat?
Jen: It's the team that matters. If the team scores the goals it needs, it does not matter if I score the goals or not.

JGN: Do you practice celebacy as principle?
Jen: Me? I'm a Jeruselem girl, not a Sister Marsha. No, not a virgin either. I'm not a slut but I'm not one of these celebate women either.

JGN: What size family do you want?
Jen: Can't say but not Dallas football team size. A few will do, I'd like some boys.

JGN: Thank for talking to JGN
Jen: No problem

"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"We thought it was the World Cup, not a friendly warm up!
We thought it was the World Cup, not a friendly warm up!"

"Wow! That was ridiculous"

"Yeh 6-1 in our first World Cup match this time around!"

"The P Islands are going like we did our first World Cup. It's going to be bad"

"Who care about them? How about that we are still undefeated and we just won 6-1. 6 to f---ing 1!!!"

"Sheesh. No need to get all worked up. We actually have hard games next, against two pretty experienced sides in Wentland and Tynelia."

"Except that Wentland just lost 5-0 to Tynelia, so that should be another easy win and I don't think either of them has gone beyond octafinals so that should be two more wins"

"This isn't the predictions issue. What did you think of the side?"

"Miller was awesome! 3 goals, 2 assists and almost everywhere on the field. That's exactly what we need. Then Narayan Evans also played very well with a goal. Heck everybody played well"

"Yeh Evans, Miller, Halforth and super sub Andy Holmes scoring. That's beautiful."

"Agreed, with this type of performance can we lose?"

"Not a chance in hell. Not a chance."

"Ok then what do we say now?"

"Come on you Warriors!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"HIYA!"

"VAMUL!"

http://www.islandsdaily.co.ad/sport/blog/wc40/defensively_frail
Defensive frailties rear ugly head again
Posted 2:13 pm, day after MD1 by Luke Evans at team HQ

The team's pretty much down right now. They've got a training session in a little over 15 minutes but I doubt much of training will be on their minds following our horrible collapse last night. How a team can lead 2-0, then 3-0, then 4-1, and go on to draw 4-4, is unexplainable.

The only suggestion I can offer is that we are simply too frail at the back this cup. First in qualifying, where we let in way too many goals (16), our qualifying friendlies against Valanora and Starblaydia (8), and now four against a team that hardly deserves to be here in Krytenia.

We've been lucky to draw to face Valanora in the group stage as our 5-4 win over them in our friendly during qualifying gives us the mental edge. I can see it in the players; they know they've beaten this team before and can do it again. Ultimately though it will come down to Dave Hollow's team selection.

Dave will have to win this match, without doubt, or lose his job, I fear. But until such a time comes, it's way too premature to be speculating...

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Welcome to the comments section for the post Defensive frailties rear ugly head again at the United Islands Daily's World Cup 40 blog. There are currently ( 6 ) comments. Please register to make a comment or email it to blogcomments-defensively_frail@islandsdaily.co.ad. Please remember to observe our house rules.

1. Posted by Pierre at 14:41 ( Report | Respond to comment )

It was painful to watch last night. Really was.

2. Comment by email user Francis Tanaka at 14:41 ( Report | Respond to comment )

Clean sheet, well done.
One goal, good job lad.
Two goals, you'll get over it.
Three goals, it's an off-day, we all have them.
Four goals, our defence sucks. Time to ring the changes...

3. Posted by chris in pilminster at 14:52 ( Report | Respond to comment )

ouch. hollow out. hollow out. hollow out. that's what i'll be chanting at the pub during our valanora match...

4. Posted by Dennis at 15:06 ( Report | Respond to comment )

One point from a game we should've taken three from. Some great goals, to be sure, and congrats to the marvellous Francis Yang on his first international hat-trick, but otherwise nothing good to speak of. Shambolic.

5. Posted by Davey Thomson at 15:14 in response to Comment 4 ( Respond to comment )

Some great chat. Kudos to Luke for blogging for the first time from the team headquarters in Krytenia, I suppose he must be having a great time. To answer some of your comments...

Dennis — I can see where you're coming from but there are positives to take from the game. As you mentioned, a Francis Yang hat-trick (Pierre: he's definitely a mainstay in the team now), and that's just one. We did have Ben Ropes in goal so I'm expecting to see Martin Kawn start against Valanora.

5. Posted by Luke Evans at 15:49 ( Respond to comment )

Well, the team's training session has just finished. As expected, no-one really put any effort in, and who can blame them? Pierre, yes it was a difficult game to watch. chris in pilminster, as I said, it seems too early to call Hollow's future but it's definitely on the line. Francis Tanaka (Comment 2) — time to ring the changes, indeed, I can in fact reveal that Hollow's expected to field a totally different back four against Valanora.

Keep your chat coming in folks, it's a pleasure to read and reply to them.

Drew's Clues: Royal Company

You'll often see him at the National Stadium during football season taking in matches between teams in the Yuki Collegiate Premier League. The Dancougar Royal Academy is his favorite. He also watches the national team's home matches, was present for Dancougar's World Cup opener with Bostopia, and plans to see Capitalizt SLANI and Cafundeu. He's no ordinary fan, though... he's the king of the country.

There's a reason why Dancougar's largest stadium, located in the capital, is referred to colloquially as the King Daniel III Stadium. He, like so many of us, is a football fan. "We were already here for Starblayde-sama's anniversary party," says Jun Aoyama, a servicewoman who is part of the king's security detail. "He was counting on checking the team out at the Cup of Harmony, but he was proud that they were able to qualify. He said himself that he should've had more faith in his guys."

Dancougar's emergence from relative isolation is a part of Daniel III's unique policy of diplomacy through football. It must be said that the greater part of the nation's population remains skeptical of policies which rely in whole or in part of foreign states. But when it comes to football, all bets are off. Foreign leagues were popular before the national team took the field, and with several Dancougar players now overseas, exposure has only risen. The National Stadium has now played host to around a dozen teams and even served as a neutral site for a qualifying friendly. All this has given Dancougar's citizens, at the very least, a greater awareness of their position in the larger world community.

King Daniel III inherited a nation from his father that was focused solely on its own affairs. But with nations trending towards globalization and cooperation, the question became how and when would Dancougar join. The history of self-reliance had created a people that believed in it. Football is changing that. "We're starting to see more and more interaction, socially and economically," says the prince, the future Daniel IV. "What I like is that by using football as the medium, the people themselves are driving the change. We don't have to tell them what's out there and why it's good to open up, they're discovering it for themselves as they follow their passions."

Passions that the royal family shares like any other. In his box, the king watches as Jack Common puts the Black Wings away with his 75th minute goal. There is a sigh of disappointment and brief dissection of the defensive breakdown that led to the goal; he points out the mismatch on the right side that led to Weatherford's mistake. Ever the sportsman, though, he stands to applaud both teams as the final whistle blows. "We gave them quite a run for their money, didn't we?" he says to his son, speaking the universal language of the game. "But they needed to get the wings into the game more, get more crosses into the box. Jinguuji had at least four inches over those defenders."

On the ride back to his lodgings, the game is still all the king can talk about. For a moment, politics - the meeting of leaders in Starblaydia - is a footnote to this visit. "It's never easy when your team loses," he explains. The prince and security chief Aoyama sit across from him in the car, and only the prince seems to miss it when she glances in his direction. "There's something about football that exaggerations emotions, inflames them, which might be part of the appeal."

A little over a week and a half remains of this first round. Dancougar has two matches to go, and the king is following the tournament as closely as the rest of us. He, too, recognizes the difficult task facing the Black Wings: "The truth is that we have to be patient. We've a long way to go before we're a threat at this level." And when asked about the game against Capitalizt SLANI, the king only smiles. "Whatever the outcome, I'm just happy that they're on the same field."

Drew Papes is a columnist for the Stoneridge Post, and is a frequent panelist on DSPN's Around the Horn.

"So, where do you think they are?" a stout looking marine on board the V.S.S. Likilios

The captain gave a hefty sigh as he stared deep into the heavy black mist that was creeping towards the harbor of Capri.
"I'm not sure, and to be honest, I'm not quite sure I want to know right now. What with whatever this cloud is coming towards our island. Strange and dark times these are lad, I've not been this nervous since the Forsaken took power. But even then we knew what it was we were up against, we could make a tangable connection to our troubles. But this, this mist, or whatever it is, is very disheartening and leaves me in great fear. These are the times for heroes my lad, however I fear they are all destroyed or consumed."

The marine and his company around him let their despair known through groans and sighs. They, all of them, were scared about what was happening around them, about what had happened to their loved ones on the mainland. No answers for three months, nothing to give them the slightest bit of hope that this is just a passing storm. Their thoughts were far from the football team over in Krytenia, from those heroes of the pitch who managed to beat back the infamous Northern Bettians.

So they sat their in their ship and prayed to Elune that something would be made known, that some sign would be their. That this darkness would be gone like all their troubles in the past, as all things have happened. Little would they believe in what was occuring underneath that cloud of darkness.

In Starbladyia, the Bostopian fans were beginning to sing a new song on the streets and outside bars and cafés


Hail to Bostopia
Land of my fathers,
To thee I pledge
Undying loyalty
My total bravery
So she tastes not defeat
Only victory


While usually accompanied by a number of alcoholic beverages, the song still sounded patriotic, bringing a tear to the eye of veterans of Bostopian wars.

Like the finest sections of ediraf cloth, the RP bonus for Matchday Two has just been cut off.

Demot Daily ~ Power!

That's what the Dynamo displayed in their first match here in the World Cup Proper. They showed off why they are indeed a top notch power player in every tournament, why they are considered among the elite footballing nations. It was due time that Insaki Roma burst out of the shadows of David Masteron and last generation's heroes and made a marvelous mark in Demotian footballing history. His glorious hattrick and team team's impressive thumping of co-host Krytenia was just that. Hart showed well, as did most of the team, but it was Roma who struck the blaze of glory that people have been waiting for for years to happen. He's always had the flair, the spark , but he was always not able to capitalize on it, but last night he did ever so well. This could be the turn around that takes the Dynamo from Elite, to a legitimate contender for the title.

Apart from those two marvelous runs, Demot's fortunes have been somewhat ill. Take last tournament's poor luck when they defeated number one in the world, Az-cz, against impossible odds, only to not advance to the knockouts due to luck when it came to staws. It's now with this performance that I have hope that our luck might be tounament. With a figure of Roma to rally around, the upcoming generation of Demotian talent could send us to a very golden age of football, and somehow even scrape out a title, though that would take a tad of luck and skill. But that hope is there, and that is something that has been lacking for sometime now, and it could make all the difference.

Article by Rich Baker

Jeruselem Government News

Wombats go sickly Green!

The Jeruselem were jubilant after steamrolling poor old Green Wombat 6-1. Kara Kool was back to her best with a hat trick and Jennifer Sloan had two goals. Young Jacinta Sallad popped scoring the last goal of the game in her own unique way. After messing up in the first game, Jeruselem's attacked fired up against the hapless Green Wombat.

Things started badly for Princesses with the keeper Kylie La Brai having to leave the field injured. 19 year old Shay Rushdie was rushed out to replaced her. The Wombati team took advantage pressuring the young keeper and finally putting the ball in the net in the 30th minute. The Princesses looked in trouble but a lot of shouting and jumping around by an irritated Jeruselemite Kate Sallad changed things after the 1st half had the Wombatis ahead 1-0.

Kara Kool lead the onslaught smaking in a header from short range. Shortly after Jenny Sloan put in an acrobatic kick to send in another goal. The Wombatis were shocked and the Princesses were putting the pressure. Kate Sallad was merrily skipping around the tired midfield as Scarlet Ferris directed traffic. Jeruselem leading 2-1 and looked over the shock of the 1st half.

Kara Kool struck again with a strike evading the wombati keeper. Kara Kool wasn't content with just two goals, she headed in another goal 5 minutes later. Jenny Sloan registered her 2nd goal when she ran past tired Wombatis and easily got around the keeper.

Defender Jacinta Sallad scored the last goal from a free kick after getting a accidental kick in the private parts by a Wombati defender. She wanted to take the kick herself and didn't fail. Cameras were interested in what Jacinta Sallad was doing when she was looking into her shorts after getting kicked.

Jacinta later said "I just wanted to check if there was any kinda bleeding. I won't look good with blood on ya shorts! People would think you're having period problems in the pitch."

Assistant coach Sister Marsha said
"The team are confident we can beat the Han. We'll have to work harder as the Green Wombatis just crumbled but the Han will not crumble. We do miss Flak Sho but we have a great team here. They are going for a win, not a draw. We also know the Wombati team can progress if they win their game but I don't see that happening. The Han need to win but we won't settle for less than a win."

Jeruslem does have some weird fans turning up for it's games. Some men have been turning up wearing "Sister Marsha" nun habits. The church does not approve of these actions but encourages women to join the church as Nuns like Sister Marsha.

Jeruselem will be flying the Ariddian hopes as there is no Ariddia in this cup. With our Ariddian Dallas girls, coach Jane Sanderson and the Ariddian expats in the team - we'll be flying the hopes of two nations.

And Island - Nationstates Inquisition: Yafalonia and Bazor 2 Offices.

"Gee Brian, what do you want to do tonight?"

"The same thing we try and do everynight, Pink."

"You mean make a giant Robot and try to take over the world."

"No Pink. Try to make a newspaper."

Brain paused, it was almost that was exactly the wrong thing to say then but he continued on... "Anyway, time for our usual staff meeting. You here, I'm here the desk is not."

"Um did you put it somewhere, Brain"

"No it was right there an hour ago."

"It was evil transforming robotic mice!"

"Don't be stupid, there are no such things, have you ever seen one?"

"Of course not, they are Transforming. I wouldn't see them. But I notice that my feather pillow is missing as well.

"Well, we do have some news... We won against... Casari 1-0 in the World Cup."

"That settles it, it was the Casarans they stole it to get back at us for beating them."

"Um, the match just finished 30 minutes ago..."

"Exactly, it's the perfect crime. No one would expect them..

"Pink, sometimes I wonder how you got out of school."

"I didn't I'm still in 5th grade."

"Oh, okay, that says everything."

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

WORLD CUP XL
Match Day 2: DEMOT


The streak is over. Qazox snapped its 7 match losing streak and its 11 match winless streak at the World Cup with a 2-0 win over Demot, edging the team closer to a 2nd Round berth. Renna Valladores' first goal in the Cup in the 24th minute gave the Pheonix all the lead they would need as Demot's potent offense was completely shut down by Ryan Greenley's unusual 6-2-2 formation, which saw Kallie Jaus and Valladores at the forwards, Letta Smicht and Stevie Spingler at mid, and Isadora Merli and Russ Heberly on defense, along with the usual suspects.

The 6-2-2 box confounded Demot coach Alexander Floorin's attacking style and in the 20th minute, the frustrations blew up in the Dyanamo's faces (so to speak) when Julius Rotherwell and Maria Hart were each given yellow cards for arguing with the referee over an offsides call. The cards took most of the starch out of the Dyanmo and just 4 minutes later, a nice counter-attack led by Jaus led to Valladores to being just barely onside and slicing the first goal home.

The second goal came very late, in the 4th minute of 6 minutes awarded of injury time, when Jaus slid a curving shot past Avril Longswan, effectively ending any chance of a draw.

Now comes the crux of the mattter, the co-hosts Krytenia. Qazox has been drawn with the co-hosts of the Cup three previous times, and each time has come away on the short end of the stick. But a win or a draw and a Demot loss to Yafor 2 would send the Pheonix to the proverbial promised land for the first time. A complete Group-by-Group breakdown of Qualifying senarios will be psted later.

QAZOX Qualifiers and Playoff SCORING:
Kallie Jaus- 8 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 8
Renna Valladores- 7
Stevie Spingler- 2
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Jeffie Huhman- 1


Qazox WORLD CUP Scoring:
Anderson Tarricone
Kallie Jaus
Renna Valladores



SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia in Krytenia L 1-2 QSPN2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan W 2-1 QSPN2 (5-1-2)
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. W 3-1 QSPN2 (6-1-2) CLINCHED PLAYOFF BERTH
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) L 1-5 QSPN (6-1-3)

PLAYOFFS:
P1: @ Prux L 1-2 QSPN
P2: vs. Prux @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) W 4-0 QSPN
(Qazox advances on 5-2 aggregate)

WORLD CUP:
M1: Yafor 2 @ Draconium Arena, Caversham L 1-3 QSPN
M2: Demot @ The Mound, Secklow W 2-0 QSPN
M3: Krytenia @ Isserson Stadium, Emberton (15:00 local, 21:30 QST) QPSN
World Cup Record: 1-0-1
Qualifer Record: 6-1-3
Playoff record: 1-0-1 (+2 GD)
OVERALL 8-1-5

Green Wombat Daily Tattler

WORLD CUP Blasting


Despite getting the first goal, Green wombat could not take advantage of a back-up keeper and lost 6-1 to Jeruselem, marking the worst loss in the Cup for the Wombats. They had played Jeruselem before in the Cup, way back in WC34, 24 years ago, but that as only a 2-1 loss, this was a determined team that decided that the Wombats we not going to stand in their way. In fact this is the first time the Wombats have allowed more than 3 goal in any Cup match, as the list below will show. In fact, we can consider this our best Cup showing ever, as #1- we scored 2 goals in a Cup game for the first time ever, and #2- we'll average at least one goal a game for the first time ever as well.

Up next is Squornshelous, who has all but wrapped up a second round berth and might be vunerable to an upset if they decide to rest the starters.


GREEN WOMBAT AT THE WORLD CUP:
WC34 M1: L 1-2 Jeruselem
WC34 M2: L 1-2 The Lowland Clans
WC34 M3: L 0-1 Oliverry
WC35 M1: L 0-3 Az-cz
WC35 M2: L 0-2 Demot
WC35 M3: L 0-2 The Archregimancy
WC40 M1: D 2-2 Daehanjeiguk
WC40 M2: L 1-6 Jeruselem
WC40 M3: ?? Sqournshelous

(ooc: Sqournshelous has offically have clinched a berth into the next round right, as myself and Dae can't catch them?)

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

WORLD CUP XL Qualifying Senarios for MD3

GROUP A:

Yafor 2: Clinches group with either a win OR draw vs. Demot.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a loss by one goal OR a Qazox loss/draw vs. Krytenia.

Demot: Clinches group with a win by 3 or more goals over Yafor 2 and either a Qazox loss/draw vs. Krytenia.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win and a Qazox loss/draw vs. Krytenia OR a Qazox win by the EXACT GD Demot wins by, OR a draw and a Qazox draw in which Qazox does not beat or tie Demot in GF OR a Qazox loss.

Qazox: Clinches group with a win over Krytenia by 3 or more goals and a Demot win by EXACTLY 2 goals OR a Win by 2 goals and a Demot win by 2 goals in which Qazox has more GF than both Yafor 2 or Demot.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win and a Demot loss/draw vs. Yafor 2, OR a Win by 2 goals and a Demot win by 2 goals in which Qazox has more GF than either Yafor 2 or Demot, OR a Draw and a Demot loss, OR a draw and Demot draw in which Qazox beats or ties Demot in GF.

Krytenia: CANNOT CLINCH GROUP.
Clinches 2nd Round berth with a 2 or more goal win vs. Qazox AND a Yafor 2 win over Demot by 3 or more goals, OR A Win vs. Qazox by 2 goals, and a Demot loss by 2 goals, in which Krytenia has more GF than BOTH Qazox and Demot.

GROUP B
Sel Appa: Clinches group with a win over Vephrall and either an Az-cz/Quakmybush draw or a Quakmybush loss, OR a Quakmybush win by fewer goals than Sel Appa wins by, OR a draw and a Quakmybush/Az-cz draw, provided Sel Appa has more GF than Quakmybush.
Clinches 2nd round berth with either a win and a Quakmybush win by more goals than Sel Appa wins by, OR a draw, OR a loss and the Quakmybush/Az-cz has a victor, and Sel Appa has a better GD than Quakmybush.

Quakmybush: Clinches group with a win over Az-cz and either an Sel Appa draw or loss, OR a Sel Appa win by fewer goals than Quakmybush wins by, OR a draw and a Sel Appa/Vephrall draw, provided Quakmybush has more GF than Sel Appa.
Clinches 2nd round berth with either a win and a Sel Appa win by more goals than Quakmybush wins by, OR a draw, OR a loss and a Sel Appa loss with Quakmybush having a better GD than Sel Appa.

Az-cz: Clinches group with a win and either a Sel Appa loss or draw.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw and a Sel Appa loss.

Vephrall is ELIMINATED

GROUP C
Ad'ihan: Clinches Group with a win over N. Bettia OR a draw and a Valanora loss or draw to Dance 2 Revolution.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a draw.

Northern Bettia: Clinches group with a win and either a Valanora draw or loss OR a Valanora win by the EXACT GD Northern Bettia wins by.
Clinches 2nd round berth with either a win and a Valanora draw/loss OR a Valanora win by more GD than Northern Bettia wins by, OR a draw and a Valanora draw/loss to Dance 2 Revolution, in which D2R doesn't win by more than 5 goals.

Valanora: Clinches group with a win and a Ad'ihan/N. Bettia draw.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win OR a draw and the N. Bettia-Ad'ihan match has a victor by 2 goals.

Dance 2 Revolution: CANNOT CLINCH GROUP.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win by 2 or more goals and a N. Bettia loss by 3 or more goals OR a win by 2 or more goals and an Ad'ihan loss by 2 or more goals and D2R had more GF than Ad'ihan.

GROUP D
Squornshelous has clinched a 2nd round berth.
Clinches group with either a win or draw vs. Green wombat OR a Jeruselem draw or loss to Daehanjeiguk.

Jeruselem: Clinches group with a win over Daehanjeiguk and a Squornshelous loss to Green wombat.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win or a draw vs. Daehanjeiguk.

Daehanjeiguk: CANNOT CLINCH GROUP
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win over Jeruselem by 3 or more goals and if Green wombat does not beat Squornshelous by more than 6 or more goals.

Green Wombat: CANNOT CLINCH GROUP
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win over Squornshelous by 6 or more goals and Jeruselem loses to Daehanjeiguk by EXACTLY 3 goals OR a win over Squornshelous by 9 or more goals and Jeruselem draws with Daehanjeiguk.

GROUP E
UCS SLANI: Clinches group with either a win or draw vs. Bostopia.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a Cafundeu loss OR a loss and either Cafundeu or Bostopia does not have a better GD than SLANI.

Bostopia: Clinches group with a win a win over SLANI by 2 or more goals.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win by fewer than 2 goals OR a draw and a Cafundeu draw or a Cafundeu loss.

Cafundeu: Clinches Group with a win over Dancougar by 5 goals and Bostopia beats SLANI by EXACTLY 2 goals.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win OR draw and a Bostopia loss.

Dancougar: CANNOT CLINCH GROUP
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win over Cafundeu and a Bostopia loss by 2 or more goals OR a win by 2 or more goals over Cafundeu and a Bostopia loss.

GROUP F
Milchama: Clinches group with a win or draw or a loss to Wentland by fewer than 3 goals and Tynelia doesn't have a better GD.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a loss by 4 or more goals and a Tynelia loss or draw.

Tynelia: Clinches group with a win vs The Pazhujeb Islands and a Milchama loss by 3 or more goals and Wentland doesn't have a better GF than Tynelia.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win and either a Wentland loss or draw or win by 2 or fewer goals over Milchama, OR a draw and a Wentland-Milchama draw.

Wentland: Clinches group with a win by 5 or more goals and either a Tynelia loss or draw vs. The Pazhujeb Islands.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win by 4 or fewer goals and either a Tyenlia loss or draw vs. The Pazhujeb Islands OR a draw and a Tynelia loss.

The Pazhujeb Islands: CANNOT CLINCH GROUP.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win vs. Tynelia by 4 or more goals and a Wentland loss by 2 or more goals to Milchama.

GROUP G
Bazalonia: HAS CLINCHED 2nd ROUND BERTH (due to the fact that BOTH UCS Jasiyun and Zwangzug CANNOT tie them for 2nd place.)
Clinches group with a win or draw or if the UCS Jasiyun v Zwangzug match ends in a draw.

Zwangzug: Clinches group with a win vs UCS Jasiyun by 2 or more goals and a Bazalonia loss to Bettia by 2 or more goals.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win or draw vs. UCS Jasiyun.

UCS Jasiyun: Clinches group with a win vs. Zwangzug by 4 or more goals and a Bazalonia loss by 4 or more goals.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win.

Bettia: ELIMINATED (due to the fact that they CANNOT catch either UCS Jasiyun or Zwangzug for 2nd.)

GROUP H
The Holy Empire: Clinches group with a win or draw vs. Casari.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a Yafalonia and Bazor 2 loss OR draw.

Casari: Clinches group with a win over The Holy Empire by 2 or more goals.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win OR a Yafalonia and Bazor 2 loss OR a draw and a Yafalonia and Bazor 2 draw.

Yafalonia and Bazor 2: Clinches group with a win over Starblaydia by 5 or more goals and if Casari beats The Holy Empire by EXACTLY one goal.
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win and either a Casari loss or draw.

Starblaydia: CANNOT CLINCH GROUP
Clinches 2nd round berth with a win over Yafalonia and Bazor 2 by 2 or more goals and a Casari loss to The Holy Empire by 6 or more goals.

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group D: 0-1-1 (3)
MD1: HAN(24) 2-2 (46)GRW (@ ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD2: SQU(4) 4-2 (24)HAN (@ Brecklands, Linford)
MD3: JER(13) --- (24)HAN (@ Walton Gardens, Simpson)


HAN LOSE TO SQUORNSHELOUS

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38108000/jpg/_38108832_goldengoal.jpg

LINFORD (Krytenia) - Squornshelous scored FOUR goals today, as the Han perilously stayed out in a loss, only on top of Green Wombat thanks to Jeruselem. Now, the Han face a do-or-die scenario against the Gongja (Princesses), where only a win will suffice to carry the Han through. It won't be pretty, but if this World Cup has shown us anything, it's never pretty.

Kim Daeeui set up the first goal, while Song Jongguk rallied a late consolation goal to put the number of goals fielded by the Han side at FOUR, which is just miserable. If only they had scored one more (and they had the chance to do so!), then the curse of the number four wouldn't be so close. It doesn't help that the World Cup is played every FOUR years, so we're stuck in this rhythm of death, and perhaps that's what it's all about. Football = death, in some weird context (ed. note: that's actually World Cup = death). Anyway, that's why we're in the Group of Death. We're not meant to progress. And if the numbers prove right, the number 13 is the lucky one to win this World Cup. Whatever that means... 13th Ranked team (Jeruselem)? 13th best team in the tournament (Demot)? 13th win (Casari)? 13th team in the Groups to qualify (yet to come)? Who knows? The only thing we can say is that there's a number out there that's lucky, and it certainly doesn't look like us tonight. Well, here's to hoping that the Han take back a consolation prize at least, because if we do beat Jeruselem, we'd be up at FOUR points - I'm not sure how we would like that...

SIC - Secret or Silly, depending on your point of view...

病痛唖 - Byeong Tonga (Interrogator)
CI1 - Casari Interrogator #1
CI2 - Casari Interrogator #2
V - victim

ooc: some of the following may be visually disconcerting, even though it's not really happening. So... just be aware and if you're not over 18... grow some hair and pretend you are.

CI1: I don't feel so good now...

CI2: No wonder. The doc diagnosed you with thasternatuphobosis. That's pretty serious.

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: Quiet you two! The next victim is coming in.

CI1: The what what? What did you just call him?

病痛唖: The suspect...I said the suspect.

CI1: Oh... okay. Here he comes.

V: Fuck that %$#^! I'm not going in that room!

CI1: *sneezes twice*

病痛唖: Everytime you say "that", I'm going to make your innards turn inside-out.

CI1: *sneezes*

V: What the %$#^ is wrong with "that"? I can say that all that I want!

CI1: *sneezes three times*

V: What the %$#^ is his problem? He should get a doctor to check that for him.

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: That's none of your business.

CI1: *sneezes*

V: %$#^ing %$#^! That guy sneezes every time someone says that!

CI1: *sneezes twice*

病痛唖: I did warn you. *prods victim with electric prod*

V: *vomits*

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: Great! I just can't win this one, can I?"

V: That was funny!

病痛唖: *prods victim with prod*

CI1: *sneezes*

V: *vomits*

CI1: *sneezes*

CI2: Personally, I think that this is very fine interrogation. If it weren't for the fact that my colleague sneezes at the mention of that and illness.

CI1: *sneezes twice*

病痛唖: Stop helping the victim!

CI2: You know, if you imagine it, this is a pretty good way to learn a language too! Everytime someone says that, you can figure out what they're saying!

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: Stop talking!

V: That...that...that...that...that...that...that...that...that...that...that...

病痛唖: *prods victim with electric prod*

CI1: *sneezes as many times as "that" is said*

V: *vomits* That! *vomits* That!

CI1: *sneezes continually*

病痛唖: You know, if you were minimally intelligent, you would get this %$#^ out of here and away from the sneezing!

CI2: Yeah... in a million years...

CHUCK: Victory Park in Vecchio, Starblaydia, and tonight, number one ranked Capitalizt SLANI taking on number forty two Dancougar, a mismatch of epic proportions here at World Cup 40. Hello, everyone, and welcome to DSPN's coverage of the World Cup, I'm Chuck Secoll alongside Tom Dresden, and Tom, all of the talk leading up to this game was about how many goals that SLANI would put past Yuji Watanabe and this Black Wing defense, but some of the fears have been rescinded with the release of the SLANI roster. About half of the starting lineup are backup players looking to get in some playing time, and why not, Alfreda Alesanka has to be confident after crushing Cafundeu 6-3.

TOM: But is Alfreda too confident, that's the question. Ryan Taylor and ʼWaŋ Hwaŋ-an starting on offense, Hoover and Lewis standing in on defense. Quite a big change, but at the same time, SLANI have good depth and the opportunity to give their players extra reps this early in the tournament is a definite advantage.

CHUCK: Anne Marie is on the Dancougar sideline. Anne, what do you have for us?

ANNE: I talked to coach Charles DuPont after the team came out, and he says that the team took a good long look at the revised SLANI lineup before the match. He says the team feels slighted that they're not getting SLANI's best, and they're going to use that as fuel here in the first half.

CHUCK: Thanks Anne, kickoff just seconds away. The referee tonight, Yibbie Yose of Jerusalem. SLANI have deferred to the second half, so it's Jinguuji and Ikeda over the ball. Yose blows the whistle, and we're underway in Vecchio, Dancougar and SLANI in a Group E clash...

...

CHUCK: Boskov fires a through ball for Whittaker, but it's cut out by Mason. Mason now looking for help, finds it in Ellis. Square ball. Ellis works it into the middle, Leyton coming back to challenge. Ellis holds up and taps it to Danielle Brown. She's been a bundle for Weatherford in these first minutes of play. Brown with a stepover, Weatherford not biting, and she'll cross it in, deflection out of play, it'll be a corner.

TOM: Good concentration by Weatherford, not biting on that play fake. Keeps his eyes on the ball, not the player.

CHUCK: Mason takes a short corner and Lewis, all the way up to send it into the box. It's hiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh... Watanabe will catch that and reset play. Lewis was trying to pick out 'Hwaŋ-an or 'Im-sami, both were in the box but Watanabe came out to play the ball...

...

CHUCK: Leyton and Ellis are going at it now, Leyton comes away with the ball. Shakes off Ellis and plays it square to Boskov, Boskov now looking to get clear but Tillner is there. 'Hwaŋ-an is coming back to help out, but Boskov will send it all the way back to to Barclay. Wings reset on offense.

TOM: And that SLANI midfield has been cutting out those Dancougar attacks all night long, 'Hwaŋ-an has been a splendid deputy for Migelo Luiso thus far.

CHUCK: Barclay back to Musashi Yamada, young man from Fujiwara who's moving to Cafundeu after the tournament. Yamada up to Leyton, touches it off to Underwood. Underwood with some time, and hits it long upfield. Ikeda rushes to meet it, he's got a step on Lewis, now in the corner. Ikeda needs to turn his man, pulls it back. Mason is in there now, but Ikeda has help. It's Morimoto right behind him, into the mixer, Jinguuji HEADERRRRRRR... over the bar, goal kick, SLANI.

TOM: And Morimoto rushed to get that off on the first touch, but he had time since Ikeda drew the double-team. If he places it a little farther in, Jinguuji can get more power on it, and I think we're looking at one to nil...

...

TOM: A good run by Ellis to set this up, froze Leyton where he stood and forced the foul.

CHUCK: So Leyton sends Ellis to the ground with a little hip check, no booking but a dangerous free kick. Danielle Brown will line up over the ball, Ryan Taylor is also over there. Leyton, Weatherford, and Yamada on the wall. Ball twenty five yards out. Brown... past it, Taylor chips over the WAAAALLLLL... and GOAL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL Capitalizt Slani, it was Gwon ʼI-sam heading it home past Watanabe, nobody picked up the delayed run, and it's 1-0 to SLANI, minute twenty three!

TOM: Delayed run, just like you said, nobody really moves as Brown makes her approach. She steps over the ball, and boom! 'I-sam breaks for the far post and is just onside as this ball is delivered, linesman gets a great view, makes the right call, and Taylor plays it perfectly. Watanabe had no shot at it.

CHUCK: It took twenty three minutes, but the holders are on the board. It's 1-0 SLANI. Ryan Taylor, backup forward, picks up the assist on the free kick...

...

CHUCK: Wings backed into their own end, SLANI starting to press their advantage. Lewis back to Hoover, who's at the halfway line, she's pressured by Jinguuji and puts it up. Barclay will chest it down and is challenged immediately by Hwaŋ-an. Stride for stride, and there's the whistle... it's on Barclay! Barclay wants to know what he's done, but Yose calls the foul, it's a free kick for SLANI.

TOM: Chuck, I think Yose catches Barclay grabbing Hwaŋ-an's jersey, not too much there but enough to impede the run. Ref's been letting the players get away with a bit, but can't let this game get too far out of control, though you wish the call wouldn't come in this position.

CHUCK: 'Im-Sami, the quick restart to Taylor, Taylor into the middle for ELLLLLLLISSSS... JUST WIDE! And the Dancougar defense was caught asleep on that, the quick restart, lucky not to be down two.

TOM: They were getting ready to arrange a wall, figured they might try another shot from there, but that just leaves the middle wide open. Taylor passes to Ellis, who hits a one-timer. Watanabe was slow to react, but luckily it bends wide. Break for the Wings...

...

CHUCK: Alvin Lewis breaks up the play, and Ikeda will come away empty-handed once again. And Ikeda might've tried to do too much with the ball there.

TOM: No, he had what he wanted, but the ball took an odd bounce on the cut, and Lewis able to recover.

CHUCK: And Lewis has played a masterful through ball behind everyone, and Danielle Brown has picked it up, one on one with Weatherford. Weatherford and Yamada are back to deal with Brown, 'Im-Sami, and Taylor. SLANI with numbers, Taylor is in the middle. Brown will pass it back, Taylor shot, Watanabe diving save, REBOOOOOOUUND... GOAL! Joshua Tillner! Out of nowhere, the long run to the back post, collects the rebound and puts it in, Barclay no chance of clearing that off the line, and it's 2-0! Minute thirty nine!

TOM: Great execution on the break, and it starts with Alvin Lewis. He sends a long pass up over the Dancougar midfield and all of a sudden, SLANI have the numerical advantage. And Watanabe made a great read to stop that shot, but Tillner made a hard run and cleans up the leftovers.

...

CHUCK: And the whistle blows, halftime at Victory Park, the score is 2-0 to Capitalizt SLANI, and the Wings really struggled through the last twenty minutes or so.

TOM: Yeah, only two real chances on goal for the Wings in the first half, SLANI have put up eight attempts, six on target. Watanabe has done well, but the defense is really making it tough on him. Boskov and Underwood have to help out more if they're going to turn this game around in the second half.

CHUCK: Anne Marie, on the sidelines with Charles DuPont as they're heading for the locker room. Anne?

ANNE: Coach, what adjustments do you think you'll need to make for the second half?

CHARLES: We need to move the ball better, I think, around the midfield, and really break down their dee... I don't think it's been terribly strong, but we're just not finding the seams.

ANNE: Thanks, coach.

...

CHUCK: Wings looking revived, now, as they move the ball around. Leyton to Boskov, who gets past Mason and has some room to work down the line. Boskov. Boskov, sends it into the middle, Leyton gets a head to it. It's into the box, and Hoover will clean it up, cleared away. Back to Barclay, who controls it and hits a long cross over to Underwood.

TOM: Moving the ball much better now, the Black Wings.

CHUCK: Underwood finds Morimoto, and Morimoto looks to break away... down he goes, free kick! Yose blows the whistle for the foul, it looked like Ellis clipped him as he broke free.

TOM: Watch Jinguuji, they've been trying to pick him out for the last five minutes.

CHUCK: Two-man wall, four Dancougar attackers in the box along with six SLANI defenders. Morimoto. Into the mixer. And Jinguuji goes up and got a head to it, it takes a deflection in the box, it's a panic, IKEDAAAAA!!!! THE WINGS ARE ONE BACK! Hideo Ikeda pokes it home as is bounces around the box, Gwaŋ-yūŋ was screened and didn't even see it come through! 2-1! Minute fifty three!

TOM: And it was utter chaos in the box after that free kick, and Ikeda, how about his concentration. Jinguuji's header came off, it looked like Lewis, came off of his shoulder. It winds up near Ikeda, and he doesn't even think, a flash of the boot and it's into the back of the net. Onside. 2-1.

CHUCK: And with over half an hour to play, we may just have a ballgame here, ladies and gentlemen...

...

TOM: I think SLANI's starting to lose their hold on the game.

CHUCK: Dancougar on the attack, now. Leyton has the ball and moves through midfield. Ellis moves in to challenge, square to Underwood. Underwood puts it through for Ikeda, who's really starting to work over young Alvin Lewis. OH, through the legs, Ikeda is clear! Pass to the top of the box, it's MoriMOTOOOOOOO.... wide left! He went for the near post and puts it just wide, it's a goal kick.

TOM: But Chuck, that SLANI back three starting to have problems, I think Alesanka is going to have to bring on one of the regulars soon to try and plug that up.

...

CHUCK: And Watanabe will smother that shot, his ninth save tonight.

TOM: Gets himself in position to make a play on the ball, but credit to Yamada for stepping to the ball. Taylor hurries the shot, can't get enough behind it, and Watanabe is always going to make that save.

CHUCK: Sends it upfield, Ellis will head, and Barclay brings it in. Upfield to Boskov, who is alone on the line again. Gwaŋ Hyo-gyo, defensive substitution and usual starter. Stymies Boskov, who sends it back to Barclay. Cross into the middle, Leyton touches it off for Whittaker... WHITTTTAKKERRRRRR... punched wide, corner kick.

TOM: And the Wings taking more chances, now, time running out on this one.

CHUCK: Whittaker sends it into the box, it's JINGUUUUUUUJI... save by Gwaŋ-yūŋ. Holds onto the header.

TOM: Not enough power, hit straight at the keeper, always a save.

...

CHUCK: Only a minute of stoppage time, Wings in a panic now. SLANI have thrown their weight behind the defense, protecting the one goal lead. Leyton runs it up and touches it off for Whittaker. Whittaker looking to cross it in... Hoover intercepts and clears it. And SLANI have a break, Brown will carry it upfield. Danielle Brown. Brown. Pushes it past Weatherford and gets the cross into the middle... TAYLOOOOORRRRROH WHAT A SAVE! Watanabe pushes it over the bar!

TOM: Reaction save, Yuji Watanabe, great run by Taylor to get into position. But Watanabe has been playing like a man possessed out there, eleventh save of the night!

CHUCK: Corner kick by Tillner, and Ellis will hold it in the corner. That should do it, Yose has seen enough! Full time! And this turned out to be a closer game than we expected, but SLANI were still better even with the reserves. A long way to go for the Wings, who fall to two losses in two matches, while Capitalizt SLANI have two wins from two. Anne Marie is on the field with Josh Tiller, who has the game-winning goal. Anne?...

Somewhere deep in SBIS HQ….

“…still no sight of Ordinary Reality! How long is it?”

“That’s a rather personal question, Sir.”

“No, I meant how long is it now since we lost contact with other realities, you idiot.”

“Over two weeks, and for the record, it’s a magnificent seven inches when fully erect.”

“What are you talking about Theophilus?”

“I thought you were asking…. Never mind. Yes, two weeks or so since we lost contact. Other than Professor Von Madscientisto’s temporary firing of the one portal, and yesterday’s unexpected arrival of the ant clutching a very small sheet of paper, there hasn’t been any contact since…

“PORTAL VVV78J92 IS FIRING, SIR!”

“Well done, Alexius! Origin?”

“Not sure, yet… still… YES! We have a point of origin! It’s Starblaydia, Sir!”

“Curious how the only contacts have involved the World Cup, isn’t it, lads? Still let’s see what comes through this time!”

“It’s a newt, sir!”

“A what, Alexius?

“A newt. A Starblaydi lesser-crested ash newt, to be precise.”

“Why would? Never mind. And I don’t suppose it’s carrying a very small sheet of paper?”

“As a matter of fact, it is! It reads ‘Empire 2 – Starblaydia 0. All-star dream simulacra magnificent. Belmore and Belmowitz split goals. Draw against Casarans enough to win group.’”

“Well, that is excellent news, lads!”

“There’s more Sir! The newt appears to have a second message secretly tattooed across its crest!”

“Well spit it out, Alexius. What does it say?”

“SDB SAYS YES. TZIMISCES CONFIRMS TRANSFER AT CONCLUSION OF CUP. INFORM ISPI.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No idea, Sir.”

“Whatever it is, we probably won’t like it. Well, you read the message, bring in someone from ISPI and let them know.”

“Is that all, Sir?”

“By no means. ‘Draw against Casarans enough to win group?’. Potentially our most successful campaign in many a World Cup, and we can’t watch? None of you are going home until you can bring me a live reality feed to Starblaydia, dammit!”

<A Nintendo Wii advertisement on Jeruselem TV>

Kate: Hello! I'm Kate Sallad
Jacinta: And I'm her sister Jacinta Sallad
Kate: We're here to sell a Wii or two.
Jacinta: That's the Nintendo Wii, not human excrement.

Kate: You know we have a lot in common with the Wii.
Jacinta: Like what Kate?
Kate: It's cheap and it's really fun. We're cheap and we're really fun.
Jacinta: We're not quite as cheap as a Wii but it's a fun console

Kate: We're big fans of the Nintendo Wii, it's our choice of console when we travel overseas.
Jacinta: Our favourite is Wii Sport, or actually Wii Sport topless.
Kate: Video games don't have be for people who can't get exercise.
Jacinta: We can keep fit and have fun too

Kate: And it's very portable, very easy to transport around.
Jacinta: That's assuming you have access to a TV so you can use it.
Kate: There's even Wii Football, for all you football fans.
Jacinta: And even a version of Virtual Sprumpet for all those fans of virtual females.

Kate: We're not here because we got paid lots of money, although that is a motivating factor.
Jacinta: We think the Wii is the best console around.
Kate: OK, it's cheap and fun - well like us but some of you complain the graphics just suck.
Jacinta: Yo, there's a new version coming out.

Kate: It's cooler, faster and better graphics too.
Jacinta: Even the old games play better on this new Wii.
Kate: But wait until you see the new games ...
Jacinta: Yes, it's worth the wait.

Kate: There's more! It comes in more colours, not just white.
Jacinta: Sleek black, hot pink, cool blue and fire red. And army green too.
Kate: Girls, there's even a Hello Kitty version! Limited stocks only, only in Jeruselem!
Jacinta: We're buying that one for sure.

Kate: The Nintendo Wii, the best console around.
Jacinta: New version coming soon!
Kate: We can't do the topless thing can we?
Jacinta: No, this ad is for public television.

Kate: Poor viewers, but you can see some topless Wii ads on the video sites.
Jacinta: I'm sure are onto those videos by now.
Kate: The new Wii coming soon!
Jacinta: We'll be getting one.

JAKE: This telecast is brought to you in high definition on DSPN-HD! (Title screen and theme. The desk is in front of a stadium, and the crowd of Dancougar fans with them has swelled from last time to around two thousand.) Jhanna, capital of Starblaydia, and it will play host the last day of Group E. And really, you couldn't ask for a bigger stage for a group that is wide open, all four teams with a shot at the next round. Hello, welcome to a special World Cup edition of College Gameday, Jake Matthews alongside Dee Torso and Dirk Spiceroad. Guys, over the next few days, matchday threes will determine the field of the knockout round, and somehow the Dancougar Black Wings, sitting on zero points from two games, are still alive.

DEE: And I love the way the game have worked out, because for all the teams in Group E, it's not terribly complicated. There's some math here and there, but what it boils down to is that if you want a shot at the next round, you have to win. And I wouldn't have it any other way, guys, than to have teams need to play their way into the next round.

DIRK: Absolutely agree, Dee, it's great for the fans, and it gives these teams a chance to build some real momentum going into the next round. Dancougar, despite being a woeful underdog in the group, has actually not done too badly. Bostopia and Cafundeu are in the thick of it, and even SLANI are not safe atop their perch at six points. So it creates a very tense atmosphere, everyone knows what they need to do, I think we'll see a great final day of football.

JAKE: Last night's games, as you know, close on all accounts. SLANI starting quite a few of their reserves against Dancougar, and Dancougar made a game of it and forced them to bring on some starters late to seal the 2-1 victory. And meanwhile, Cafundeu get back into the mix with a stunning 5-4 victory over Bostopia, this game was back and forth, you could never really guess who had the edge at any point. A win for Bostopia and this group is cut and dried going into the final day, but Cafundeu have made it very interesting when you look at the standings, now.

DIRK: A lot of close wins mean that the goal differentials aren't that wild, which are a key factor in the advancement scenarios for all of these teams. Cafundeu, though, are smarting after that 6-3 loss to SLANI in the opener, because that means they and Dancougar have a lot of work to do to get back into it. We start with Dancougar, though, sitting at no wins, minus two. If they beat Cafundeu, they at least get to minus one. If Bostopia loses to SLANI, they go to at least minus one. Both will have three points, Cafundeu will be at at least minus three, and in this case, Bostopia have pretty much all the tiebreakers. So Dancougar needs to get a little help, or manufacture some more differential.

DEE: But nevertheless, it boils down to the fact that a victory puts them into the mix, and you can't write them off because they did it before in this very cup. Of all the storylines swirling around Dancougar-Cafundeu, and you'd never expect that from a team ranked where the Wings are, you see it's the third time they've played this cup. Twice in qualifying, and each getting a win on their own turf, now they play on neutral ground. And how about that, a game like this to break their deadlock. Both teams know how the other operates, it'll come down to execution and who wants it more, and a dash of luck, perhaps.

DIRK: Yeah, but for Cafundeu, it's the same thing. They need to win to assure themselves of a spot in the mix, but if Bostopia loses, a tie is good enough for them. But if they and Bostopia both win, it becomes difficult, because they need to make up a lot of differential. It's safe to say that both Dancougar and Cafundeu will be rooting for Capitalizt SLANI when all four take the pitch early next week.

JAKE: You mention storylines, Dee, and there are more than just this being the third meeting between the teams with second round placement on the line. How about half of the Dancougar lineup playing in Cafundeu starting next season, so for them, a delicate situation. You want to impress the new fans, but you don't want to be the villains who knock Cafundeu out of the tournament.

DEE: And as global ties increase between players and teams, and nations, you see this more and more. Cafundeu league teams signed four players from this Dancougar roster, who now join Ikeda and Barclay - Jinguuji, Furuya, and Yamada are all going to Central United; goalkeeper Watanabe is going to Clube Imperial. And as it turns out, all six will be on the field for this crucial match.

JAKE: Yes, the big news out of Black Wing camp is that, if there were any stops left, Charles DuPont has pulled them. Listen in.

CHARLES: (pre-recorded video) As much as you don't want to get away from what you've been doing and what you know has been working, we need to win or go home. And even a win might not do it. So we have to assess our strengths, where we can improve, and leave everything on the field. Anything less is unacceptable, and the players know that.

JAKE: That's Charles DuPont for you, and he's released the probable lineup for the match already, let's take a look. Switching it up to a 3-4-3, and we would imagine that they're going to throw everything behind the attack and try to generate goals:


Watanabe

Barclay Yamada Weatherford

Boskov
Whittaker Morimoto
Leyton

Ikeda Jinguuji Furuya

[Style modifier: +5]


JAKE: What do you think, guys, good move or bad move?

DEE: Well, whenever you favor the offense too strongly, you open yourselves up at the back. Weatherford has shown himself to be pretty vulnerable at times, and how with only Boskov really set up to help him, this strategy could certainly backfire against that Cafundeu attack. But I still like the gutsy call by Charles DuPont, a man who's been here before and is doing everything he can to give his team the best chance at victory. The extra man in Furuya, who had a few goals as a sub in qualifying, the only question for me is whether or not they can manufacture goals with that many guys wanting shots.

DIRK: It comes down to teamwork in the end, right, no matter what formation you play or who's on the field. The real question is whether or not these guys can get good ball flow, and Furuya hasn't shown himself to be too flashy up front. He likes goals, but he will make the extra pass, look for the open man. The midfield isn't as cluttered, which is going to open it up for Morimoto and Whittaker to distribute from the sides. What I'm looking at, though, is Yuji Watanabe. He's got to be exhausted after a SLANI game in which he had to make eleven saves, and not all of them were easy. With a depleted defense and a bit of fatigue, can he still stand strong, or will he wilt under the lights of Foundation Road?

JAKE: Plenty of questions, they'll all be answered on the field, but we're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll talk with the players as they approach what can only be the biggest match in Dancougar's young footballing history - against Cafundeu, for World Cup 40 advancement. You're watching College Gameday on DSPN!

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group D: 0-1-1 (3)
MD1: HAN(24) 2-2 (46)GRW (@ ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD2: SQU(4) 4-2 (24)HAN (@ Brecklands, Linford)
MD3: JER(13) --- (24)HAN (@ Walton Gardens, Simpson)



SIC - Secret or Silly, depending on your point of view...

病痛唖 - Byeong Tonga (Interrogator)
CI1 - Casari Interrogator #1
CI2 - Casari Interrogator #2
V - victim

ooc: some of the following may be visually disconcerting, even though it's not really happening. So... just be aware and if you're not over 18... grow some hair and pretend you are.

病痛唖: Okay, so what's this fellow's problem?

CI2: I don't know. Police picked him up yesterday, and brought him in instantly. We're doing great, you know? A lot of people depend on the stuff that we're doing here.

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: From now on, that word is off-limits until we can get ear-muffs for this one.

CI1: *sneezes* That's fine.

病痛唖: Ironically, you're the only one who can say that.

CI1: *sneezes* Yeah...

病痛唖: So, what's your problem?

V: *empty stare*

病痛唖: Is he even alive?

CI1: Police said that he was moving...

病痛唖: And that means what?

CI2: He was moving. Geez. You people certainly don't get it. That's why we're now.

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: You people really don't make any sense whatsoever.

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: Oh, what the %$#^ is wrong now? What else are you allergic to?

CI1: My doctor said I'm allergic to crickets. But that I just sneezed. I don't know why.

病痛唖: At least you won't be able to eat any of them...

V: *beeps*

病痛唖: Did you just beep at me?

V: *beeps twice*

病痛唖: %$#^, that's a bomb!

CI1: *sneezes* Oh no!

病痛唖: Break for cover!

V: *beeps repeatedly until a tiny crack in the head unveils the prize*

病痛唖: The Fire-Breathing Dragon Crickets!

CI2: Hey, we can't speak that language!

CI1: *sneezes* It's CRICKETS! GAH!!!!

病痛唖: The Fire-Breathing Dragon Crickets! They are a nuisance pest that breathe fire and eat ladies' brassieres! We must let them out of this room!

CI1: Don't you mean, "we must not let them out of this room"?

病痛唖: No! They must be let free! Otherwise, they will start eating anything that looks like a brassiere.

CI1: *sneezes* What do you mean? *sneezes again*

CI2: Not a problem! Call for the hamster squad!

病痛唖: What?

*a bunch of hamster run into the room and a great battle between the crickets and the hamsters begins*

CI2: Nothing a hamster can't handle. Great interrogation today!

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: Did I mention that Fire-Breathing Cricket start to fart when attacked? Have you any idea what Fire-Breathing Crickets fart?

CI1: Poison! Gas, Gas, Gas!

CI2: You're too hysterical...

病痛唖: Well, whatever. Let's get out of here before anything else happens.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ALGO CONTINUA ERRADO... MAS AO MENOS A VITÓRIA VEIO!

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/3168/imagem3fb0.jpg
Flecha during the tense 10 minutes when the game was 4x4

The first game of the World Cup group stage was a disaster for Cafundéu. The team had a good offensive ability, scoring three goals even when the team as a whole was having a bad performance, but the defence couldn’t hold the opponent’s attackers and suffered six goals. A horrible performance, which the Monopolists didn’t want to see being repeated. But, it happened again against Bostopia. The defence failed many times, even with the changes being made from the other game, and suffered four goals. Thankfully, the attack played well, and compensated the bad performance of the defence scoring five goals.

THE FIRST HALF: Meback was surely very disappointed after the bad performance of Cafundéu in the game against Capitalizt SLANI. Because of it, he made a lot of changes in the team, even in the formation, which difficult is changed. So, many people were predicting changes in the strategy of Cafundéu, and they got it right. Using more than wings than ever, but making fewer crossings than usual, the Monopolists continued offensive, but seemed like a different kind of attacking style. It worked well in the first minutes, as Flecha scored the first goal after receiving the ball from Augusto César. Everything seemed to be working, a good attack, a good goal, the team making good plays... the supporters became confident.

But the good overall performance was temporary. The attack seemed good with the new strategy, making some nice plays, but the team started to miss some chances that shouldn’t be missed. Bostopia had few attacks until the fifteenth minute, when the red-black defence started to collapse. Conceição made a mistake in the area and Plecnik took the ball. He invaded the area and shot to score the goal, giving no chances to Moisés. Less than ten minutes after, Griff jumped more than the defenders after a crossing and headed to score the second goal of Bostopia. Which seemed a good start for Cafundéu turned being a good reaction from Bostopia. But, before the end of the first half, Moreira appeared to score the second goal, and the half finished in a draw.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Flecha’s goal): “Cafundéu attacking using the sides... now using the left with Augusto César, who is in top forrrrrrrm, by the way, rrrrrrreally being helpful for Cafundéu! Now rrrrrrruns in the wing, is alrrrrrready in the attack. Doesn’t crrrrrross the ball, enterrrrrrs in the arrrrrrea, excellent pass to Flecha, just has to shoot... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Let’s see the rrrrrreplay! Flecha, number nine! Cafundéu one, Bostopia zerrrrrro! Time... verrrrry imporrrrrrtant for anyone nowadays... and you want to know which time is it, everrrrrytime, don’t you? So, do like me, buy Tique clocks!”

http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/1277/imagemah0.jpg
Augusto César returning after a goal attempt

THE SECOND HALF: the result of the first half wasn’t the expected one by the Cafundelense supporters. The way that Bostopia scored the goals scared them, as, while Cafundéu missed many attempts before scoring the goals, Bostopia didn’t have difficulties to pierce the red-black defence and score. The defence wasn’t playing well. And, according to Meback, the attack could be improved... that’s why he put Rubiano and Giovanni in the team after halftime. And Rubiano, in his first play in the game, scored the third goal. Augusto César made another assist, dribbling an opponent and passing the ball to Rubiano, who dribbled the defender Newkey and shot with strength. After the goal, Bostopia made a change in the team, making the formation more offensive.

It was clear that Bostopia’s coach Partland was confident that the team could get the victory, which would guarantee the team the qualification if Dancougar lost the game (as it did). So, the blue team (in this game) pressured Cafundéu in the next minutes, wanting goals. The Monopolists continued being dangerous, in counterattacks and fast plays, so the game was very open, any of the teams could score at any moment. But Bostopia stroke first. Jaeger received the ball inside the area from Mauer, dribbled Vital and shot to the goal. Moisés saved, but Griff appeared to take the rebound and score the goal. Cafundéu’s situation turned to very bad when Plecnik shot from outside the area, in the 76th minute. The ball hit Alex and entered inside the goal.

Meback made the last substitution in the team transforming its strategy in an all to attack one. Long ranged shots were common, the players seemed desperate to score, but the Bostopia players worked hard to stop them for some minutes. For some minutes. In the 83rd minute, Silveira found the breach in their defence. He exchanged passes with Saulo, entered inside the area and lobbed the keeper. But the draw wasn’t enough for Cafundéu, which lost the first game. So, the team continued in its kamikaze strategy, attacking with many players and taking the risk of suffering a lethal counterattack. This risk was worth taking. Because, near the end of the game, Augusto César took the ball from Loewe and shoot from outside the area. An unstoppable shot. The goal of the victory.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Augusto César’s goal): “The situation seems desperrrrrrate rrrrrrright now. Cafundéu attacks, attacks and attacks but Bostopia fights to keep the drrrrrraw. What an exciting game! No one could prrrrrredict it could be like this! No one could prrrrrredict it could end this way! Four against four is the currrrrrent rrrrrresult, but Cafundéu attacks with nearrrrrrly all its playerrrrrrs to get the victorrrrrry... even Moisés trrrrrrried in a corrrrrrner kick! Now the ball is with Bostopia, which contrrrrrols the ball slowly... Augusto César takes the ball, excellent tackle, founds space to shoot... oh my God, he’ll do it! Look at the goal, LOOK AT THE GOAL! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Rrrrrreplay this one, rrrrrreplay it! Augusto César, number six! Cafundéu five, Bostopia four! The goal of the victorrrrrry! Want to live in your own house, without paying rrrrrrent to anyone? Imobiliária Frrrrrragoso has the best places for you to live, come see them! Banco Econômico is a parrrrrrtner of Imobiliária Frrrrrragoso!”

CURIOUS MOMENTS: nine goals in one game... but it could be more. The referee from Bazalonia disallowed one goal of Cafundéu, claiming that Flecha was offside when he got the ball inside the area. We won’t discuss if this was the truth or not, just comment what happened after that. The money note, the mascot of Cafundéu (aka the man dressed as a money note) invaded the field furious and tried to discuss with the referee, but Cafundéu’s players took him out the playing field. Later, when Saulo fell inside the area, the money note complained that it was a penalty, and invaded the field again. This time, the referee punched him in the face and the money note was removed by the police officers.

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: it was a victory after all, but not all the things went right for Cafundéu. The defence made another bad performance, and Meback needs to see what’s wrong and how it can be corrected. Talking with the press, he said: “I know that our defence is far from being good lately. I think I’ll return to our traditional formation and see if they can react in the next game. I know that they have the quality, I trust them. About the attack, I’m very satisfied by them, but maybe our midfielders and attackers can help the defence more.” The midfielder/defender Augusto César said: “We have good chances of qualifying, surely. The next game will not be an easy one, but we are scoring goals and this is a sign that we are finding the way to the goal.”

http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/8840/imagem2lm1.jpg
Seconds before Plecnik's goal...

CAFUNDÉU 5x4 BOSTOPIA

Place: Silverlands, Corinth, Starblaydia. (nice city, this one).
Attendance: 91,003 people.
Referee: Daniel Peters (Bazalonia).
MOTM: Augusto César (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Bartolomeu; Vital, Alex and Lionel (Saulo 79’); Silveira, Gian (Giovanni 45’), Augusto César, Marcelinho and Moreira; Flecha and Careca (Rubiano 45’).
Coach: Caio Meback.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/bostopia.png BOSTOPIA: Adder; Furst, Newkey, Mauer and Redmond; Kanper, Sadler (Jaeger 58’), Loewe (Flower 79’) and Griff; Plecnik and Gronfeld (Svettbard 45’).
Coach: Graham Partland.

Goals:CAF: Flecha 7’ , Moreira 43’ , Rubiano 56’ , Silveira 83’ , Augusto César 93’.
BOS: Plecnik 20’ , Griff 24’/67’ , Alex (own goal) 76’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Dancougar: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva, Marcelinho and Moreira; Flecha and Saulo.
Coach: Caio Meback.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Joan Jacques (Jeruselem).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers – All (Proper):

14- Flecha (2)
6- Saulo
5- Marcelinho (1), Moreira (1), Augusto César (2)
3- Careca, Silveira (1)
2- Da Silva, Alex, Rubiano (1)
1- Carlos Magno, Gian

Own Goals: 1- Alex (1)

<Somewhere in Qazox>

"Sir, the team is almost ready to move, just awaiting your orders, Sir," the Major reported.

"Good, this has lasted for way too long. At 05:00, we strike and the rebels will be crushed once and for all!" General Bridde replied.

"Sir, that is that noise?" the Major asked.

As both men scanned the skies for the source of the loud noise and realised too late that the rebels had found the main Qazox Third Army HQ and it was to late for General Bridde and the 7200 men stationed there, as the bomb exploded and the nuclear fallout spread over the valley.

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group D: 0-1-1 (3)
MD1: HAN(24) 2-2 (46)GRW (@ ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD2: SQU(4) 4-2 (24)HAN (@ Brecklands, Linford)
MD3: JER(13) --- (24)HAN (@ Walton Gardens, Simpson)



SIC - Secret or Silly, depending on your point of view...

病痛唖 - Byeong Tonga (Interrogator)
CI1 - Casari Interrogator #1
CI2 - Casari Interrogator #2
V - victim

ooc: some of the following may be visually disconcerting, even though it's not really happening. So... just be aware and if you're not over 18... grow some hair and pretend you are.

病痛唖: What's happened around here??

CI2: Some of the crickets escaped. The whole facility is in lockdown until we capture all of the crickets. But it's not too bad, since none of the ladies have bras on now, thanks to those crickets.

CI1: *sneezes* Can I get a new job?

病痛唖: I would have thought about that a long time ago.

CI1: *sneezes* %$#^ this %$#^.

病痛唖: *sighs* When's the next victim coming in?

CI1: I'm getting out of here now.

病痛唖: That would be smart.

CI1: *sneezes and leaves*

病痛唖: %$#^. Is there anything we can do? Could they at least turn off the alarms?

CI2: What alarms?

病痛唖: What's that buzzing sound?

CI2: I don't know. What buzzing sound?

病痛唖: You're telling me that you can't hear that buzzing sound?

CI2: Nope. I don't know what you're talking about.

病痛唖: There's a %$#^ing loud buzzing, going "BROING, BROING, BROING, BROING, BROING, BROING, BROING, BROING, BROING..."

CI2: Oh! That's just the superconductors warming up.

病痛唖: I've never heard a superconductor warm up like that. And what the %$#^ is a superconductor doing at a interrogation facility?

CI2: It sure makes a great torture device!

病痛唖: Torture?

CI2: Absolutely! Torture. Load up a prisoner with iron and load him into the superconductor. If the shocks don't get him, the magnetic pull will tear his body to shreds. Not to mention all of the protons and nucleons and quarks and sparks.

病痛唖: I don't know what to say.

CI1: *re-enters* The next suspect.

病痛唖: Okay. That's a good development.

CI1: *sneezes* I'll bring him in now.

病痛唖: What's your name?

V: *stares blankly at Byeong*

病痛唖: *shakes his head* What's your name?

V: Pak Yeonghak.

病痛唖: What's your business in Casari?

V: I came to visit the Imperial Team play in Casari for the last qualification match.

病痛唖: Do you remember what happened?

V: Not much. I do remember we lost the match.

病痛唖: Anything else?

V: Well... I saw some construction workers installing new lights over the exit signs. They were stuff that I'd never seen before, but I didn't think much of it then.

病痛唖: What were they using to install these lights?

V: Hmmm. I don't know. Like I said, I'd never seen them before. Why am I here?

病痛唖: You are suspected of cooperating with a grand conspiracy against His Imperial Majesty's government, in which 700 victims have died valiantly watching one of the world's greatest sporting events. How do you plead?

V: *gasps* I'm not one of the terrorists! I was stuck in the middle of the crowd when the bombs let off! I was nearly trampled during the scene! I could have just as easily died there!

病痛唖: Why should we believe you?

V: Because I have my match tickets! They're true!

病痛唖: Are these real match tickets?

CI2: I don't know. Check out the counterfeit folk on the second floor.

病痛唖: You, go check it out!

CI1: Why me?

病痛唖: You're the only person allergic to anything. Go!

CI1: *mumbles something under his breath and leaves*

V: Wait! Where are you taking that ticket?

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: None of your business. We're just checking your alibis. Where were you two days ago?

V: Stuck here. I've stuck here since the bombs exploded.

病痛唖: Okay. Where were two weeks ago?

V: In Seoan. I'm from Seoan. If you need proof of my Imperial papers, I have them in my briefcase left at the hotel!

病痛唖: You know better than that! Never bring your papers overseas!

V: But the Imperial Guard at the airport said to bring our papers so we can return home!

病痛唖: *turns to CI2* I think that this fellow isn't a terrorist.

CI2:He looks like a terrorist. Why should we believe you?

病痛唖: He's a citizen. Citizens are not terrorists. Or better said, terrorists are not citizens. He seems to be genuinely true.

CI2: Eh, give him two minutes in the superconductor.

病痛唖: One of the reasons why I'm here is to protect his Imperial Majesty's subjects. If he is a citizen of the Han Empire, he should not be here, and I do have Imperial authority to relegate his status back to the Empire.

CI2: %$#^%$#^! I call the shots!

病痛唖: Since when?

V: What's going on? Am I still guilty?

病痛唖: Just shut up. And I'm getting some to your hotel to recover your papers right now. *turns to CI2* Go to this man's hotel room and get his papers. If he has any that is.

CI2: Bah, what do papers have anything to do anything?

病痛唖: Only citizens have papers, and I'm authorized to tell fakes from genuine copies. If he is telling the truth, he doesn't belong here.

CI2: Okay, look. If you want me to undress, I'm fine with that, but you've got to give me back my porn.

病痛唖: I do not want you to undress! Get me his papers! Now!

CI1: Did I miss something?

病痛唖: Is the ticket real?

CI1: Yeah, it's real.

病痛唖: Go get his papers!

CI1: %$#^, who made me the errand boy?

病痛唖: Go to the hotel where he was staying and get his papers!

CI1: I'd love to, but we're in lockdown until we catch all of the hamsters.

病痛唖: I thought you were chasing the crickets?

CI1: We were. But the crickets all committed suicide after their leader apparently decided to stop doing weird %$#^ stuff. Now the hamsters are playing in the superconductor. Didn't you hear the alarms?

CI2: What alarms?

病痛唖: I told you they were alarms!

V: Am I free to go?

*all stare at the victim*

病痛唖: We're going to need some time to clear that up.

CI1: *sneezes*

Coach Jane Sanderson and Sister Marsha talking to Kate Sallad

Jane: Hey Kate ... what's a Gongja? Apparently, there's plenty of them around here.
Sister: Sounds a lot a like Gunja which isn't legal, I hope that it isn't what we are talking about.
Kate: I don't know ... who's saying this?
Jane: The Han fans around here.

Kate: Oh yes, it means Princess! It's not Gunja ... as in drugs.
Sister: That's a relief.
Jane: I was getting worried there, these Gongja around not knowing what it means.
Kate: Why ask me?

Jane: You're the most Asian person in our team. Being Dazzi and all.
Sister: But we don't have Princesses around here.
Jane: It's our team nickname, we don't have real ones around anymore. Kate and Jacinta Dallas aren't here.
Kate: You have Kate Sallad, the closest thing to a Princess!

Jane: You look like one but you're not one Kate.
Kate: What about that Fiskin Dallas? She's a Dallas.
Sister: She's not a princess because she's the daughter of Debbie not Dazza.
Kate: Oh I see, must read up on my royalty there.

Jane: Why are you looking so happy?
Kate: Money in the bank! Lots of it!
Sister: But it's not even pay day yet.
Jane: I think she's whored herself again.

Kate: Topless Wii Internet ads, good money earner!
Sister: That's ... err ...
Kate: You don't how much money I got, great earner that was.
Jane: None of that topless Wii stuff during the game please. We've got a bad enough reputation from your Dallas counterparts.

Jacinta: Hello! How do I look?
Kate: Like a Han prostitute
Jane: I assume that was supposed to be Han Princess dress.
Jacinta: They ran out of these at the shop so I got one of these.

Sister: Yes, you look like Han whore.
Jacinta: Oh well, it was going cheap.
Kate: I'd think it looks good - I'll wear it on the FOOTBALL LIFE.
Jane: You two ... I swear, you're related to Dazza Dallas.

http://www.islandsdaily.co.ad/sport/blog/wc40/big_result
Big result!
Posted 11:14 pm, MD2 by Davey Thomson

Dave Hollow needed to win against Valanora to save his job. And he did it. What a big result for us — you can hear my match report for Radio Ad’ihan International here (http://media.switchpod.com//users/livengns/ValanoraAdihan.mp3).

Just a short post for now, I'll respond to any questions you might have in the morning.

For the hearing impaired, here's a transcript:
After a poor start to the team's World Cup Finals campaign with a four-all draw against Dance 2 Revolution, Ad'ihan manager Dave Hollow rang the changes with his team.

Starting the match against Valanora with a totally different goalkeeper and back-three defence from the team that faced Dance 2 Revolution, Hollow's bold team selection appears to have worked.

Valanora took the lead on 14 minutes through Kiso Night following a communication breakdown in defence between starting goalkeeper Martin Kawn and left-back John Bristow more often associated with the previous team choice, and once again Hollow was left wondering whether he made the right decision.

As it turns out, the defence held on and was not penetrated for the remaining 76 minutes of the match. The teams went into the half-time break with the score in favour of the Valanorans, although that was soon to change.

Ad'ihan's fiery attack up front which had scored 32 goals in its last 12 games showed their capabilities once again.

16 minutes into the second half, stand-in captain for the day Anthony Jones, on the right flank, dispossessed Kawi Marl in a strong challenge for the ball that left the Valanoran on the floor appealing for a foul, which was not given.

A great through-ball for Jake Holmes who picked it up right on the edge of the 18-yard area was met with a superb strike from the 24-year-old, who scored his first goal since the final match of qualifying against Ruskastan.

Three minutes later, veteran Ad'ihani striker Julian D'Abbo made it 2-1 in favour of Ad'ihan with a smooth, side-footed finish past Akihiko Yoshida after being played through by Francis Yang.

At the end of the match, all smiles for Dave Hollow as his team end up 2-1 victors at Harbour Stadium in Stanton, Krytenia; for the Valanorans, they must now turn it around and get a result against Dance 2 Revolution.

Ad'ihan moves to the top of Group C with the win, on four points, one ahead of both Valanora and Northern Bettia, who they will play in their final group match.

Permalink | Trackback | View comments for this post

Welcome to the comments section for the post Big result! at the United Islands Daily's World Cup 40 blog. There are currently ( 3 ) comments. Please register to make a comment or email it to blogcomments-big_result@islandsdaily.co.ad. Please remember to observe our house rules.

1. Posted by chris in pilminster at 00:41 ( Report | Respond to comment )

i did chant 'hollow out' at the pub. i have to say, i stopped doing so after we scored our second... still, we aren't safe yet and could still go out. can't be complacent now.

2. Posted by Pierre at 06:06 ( Report | Respond to comment )

Indeed, Davey, that was a very, very big win for us. A great showing from the lads. Kudos to Dave Hollow for making the changes he did, it paid off well and hopefully we'll stick with that lineup against Northern Bettia. Makes one wonder why or how Ben Ropes ever got the vice-captaincy in the first place, though...

3. Posted by Ad'ihani in Zwangzug at 09:49 ( Report | Respond to comment )

Wow. I'm stunned. I thought that the changes would backfire. I'm not the only one who did, I'm sure, seeing how that defence has hardly had 60 minutes together ever before. Still, credit due to Hollow. Well done, lads, keep up the good work. Ad'ihan for the Final!


(OOC: Yes, the first underline [to the 'match report'] is an actual link and not a 'fake' one. You can hear the actual match report if you click on it.)

“You see Anderson. I knew they would choke.” Agent Smith declared as the final whistle sounded in Tynelia’s 3-0 spanking at the hands of Milchama. “You can tell those cultists are panicing now. This is playing out just like last Cup. We win the first match, lose the second and then face the lowest team in the group needing to win to move on. Everyone expected us to win against the Han and we didn’t. The same thing will happen with these islanders.”

“You do realize we can still get in with a loss right?” Specialist Anderson replied.

“What do you mean?” Smith demanded.

“Well if we lose and Wentland loses to Milchama we’ll all have three points. And head to head everyone beat everyone else so it goes on to goals or goal differential. In either case we have a four goal edge on the Island folk and a ten goal edge in differential so they’d have to beat us 5-0 to pass us or tie us in either category. Wentland would be done because they already trail us and would drop even further back with a loss.” Anderson explained.

“Ah don’t worry about it, that won’t happen. Milchama is in even if they play a bunch of statues in their last match. No one can catch them never mind two teams even if Wentland pulls off the upset. Oh wait let’s see what our team’s cultist coach has to say. These should be some good excuses.” Smith said, turning up the volume on the television as Coach Lee Andrews was speaking.

“… well we had a nice run there but having your undefeated streak ended by the number two team in the world isn’t a bad thing. It would have been nice to score a goal or two but these things happen. In a way it’s a good thing for us to lose here. I mean would you rather our first loss of the tournament so far to come here in the group stages where we can still advance with a win next match or hold off until the knockouts where it’s one and done? That’s be just like those football Patriots did last year.”

<mutters from reporters until another half understood question was hurled Andrews’ way>

“Does this affect my faith in our Lord of Scores? Of course not. Does a Catholic turn their back on their god if they fell and skinned their knee because their god wasn’t there to catch them? No. The Lord of Scores chose this path for us so we can try harder in our next match and not get complacent with the success we’ve had so far. Once you relax in a sport its all over because it’s tough to get that edge back. This was our wake-up call and now its up to the players to respond to the challenge before us so we can make our third appearance in the knockouts and Lord willing equal or better our semi-final appearance from two cups ago.”

<another muttered question>

“Yes I am aware of our history after winning our first match of the group stages here and yes some of the players on the roster were part of some of those teams as well. That will just be even more incentive for the team to not let up and come up with a strong performance to silence those critics who never seem to give our team the respect a top ten team should have at this stage.”

<Smith lowers the volume laughing>

“You see? He’s already making excuses. He knows the team is done for and the hopes of his cult’s spreading even further being dashed. And we now have film of him spouting his religious nonsense that we will be able to use against him in the future. Trust me Anderson, the team will roll over and play dead like they always do and my job will be completed to the president’s satisfaction.”

“If you say so.” Anderson said dubiously as unlike Smith, he realized that Coach Andrews had appeared reasonable and untroubled in the interview. Even the so-called religious card was brought in with a reasonable tone and bespoke confidence in both his faith and team. Something that could backfire on Smith if the team won their next match which Anderson privately found likely. And even a loss wouldn’t likely knock them out unless Wentland managed a draw with Milchama which also didn’t look too likely. In any case Anderson was ready.

Tuning into 133.7 FM

Good morning Demot, the time is now 8:21 am, and I am Rich Baker, bringing you the Sports Report for July 25th, 1906.

Last night the national team side was felled by Qazox in a tight affair in Secklow, Krytenia. After a thrilling display by Insaki Roma and the rest of the side against the co-hosts, Qazox was expected to be an easy fixture. Yet the tables where turned on the Dynamo, who were not only beaten but kept off the score sheet as well.

It would be Demot who would get the first good scoring opportunity in the match however. In the ninth minute, Vahala Quan intercepted a pass from Stasinos and played in a lob for Hart to run on to. As she arrived, she delivered a one timed shot that went wide. Shortly after that, Roma would be free on goal and tried to chip it in, but it sailed over and into the crowd.

At the twenty minute mark, it would be Hart who was free and would net a goal. However the referee’s assistant whistled Hart offside, though replays showed that she was clearly on. When Rotherwell came to talk to the official, he immediately gave Rotherwell and Hart both yellow cards. The DFA is planning on appealing the cards to the WCC, should the squad advance into the knockouts.

The unwarranted cautions took the wind out of the sails of the Dynamo and the Phoenix would strike back quickly through a golden opportunity for Valladores in the twenty-fourth. Despite being just a goal down at the break, the Dynamo came out very flat and were unable to produce much of an attack. Even the usual super sub of Toni Flintus was unable to penetrate the devious defensive style of the Phoenix. Things came full when the squad was picked off for another goal late in stoppage time, giving Qazox the two nil victory.

For the Dynamo, it’s time to show what they are made of. They face group leaders Yafor 2 in three days, and the Yaforites are known for their defensive prowess. Yet to taste anything but a win here in the Finals, the Dynamo will have to be severely more creative in their attack if they want to move on into the knockouts and not be left in the group stage for a second straight tournament.

Moving on to the domestic scene, Oceanic United is looking once more like the favorites for the upcoming DPL season with their recent acquisitions …

OCC: Podcast form (http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=429586287.wav)

"How is he, doctor?"

"He should be fine, Mr Bridges. We're just keeping him under sedation for the moment. He had a nasty scare there."

"How long is he going to be kept here?"

"Well, he can't come out within a week, that's for certain."

"A WEEK? We might be in the quarter finals by then."

Bert Bridges turned sharply as he heard a snigger from one of the squad behind him. They stared evenly back at him with straight faces.

"So, what do we do? Just carry on as normal?"

"I would advise you to do so, Mr Bridges. There is little you can do here, he's in good hands."

"Anything we need to know? Can we visit?"

"Oh, yes. Just don't excite him too much."

***

Don't excite him too much! Bert Bridges had no intention of doing anything exciting. The disaster had occurred because certain players had abandoned their defensive strengths and gone off looking for goals. And others had managed to get themselves sent off when they lost their cool.

No, Bert Bridges knew what he had to do. And when he announced the line-up to the Wentland media they were surprised.

"6-3-1? You do realize, Bert, that we have to WIN this game?"

"No, gentlemen. We have to avoid killing someone."

JAKE: Welcome back to College Gameday, our first guest on the show, he helped set the tone for Dancougar football, both on the international level and at the club side. Hideo Ikeda, forward from Hazuki State University, plays for America in Cafundeu. Hideo, thanks for sitting down with us.

HIDEO: Hey, thanks for having me. I just want to say, before we start, that the fans have been tremendous for this first cup (the fans behind the set cheer), we're going all out this weekend for you guys.

JAKE: Yes, we'll just start with that. Coach DuPont appears to be throwing the book at the Monopolists, bringing on Furuya and declaring the team's intention to launch an all-out assault on Moises and the Cafundeu goal. This pushes you farther over to the side and forces you guys to get used to a new formation and a new strategy in only four or five days. Do you agree with the decision, and can you pull it off?

HIDEO: You know, it's really tough when you play a couple of close games like we have, and you think to yourself, "If only I'd taken that extra shot," or "If only I'd made that one pass." It hurts to go back and see all the missed chances, and all the ones you leave on the table, when a goal is all you needed to make a game of it. I think Coach is confident in the defense, and with reason - Yuji has been playing outstanding ball against some very good teams, Drew and Musashi have been hanging tough with Brandon. We have a chance to make it to the next round, and if there's anything we can do to make it happen, we'll do it. I love the call, the guys love the call, and we've been putting in the hours on the training ground.

DEE: Only a goal in this cup for you, Hideo, but seven in qualifying and friendlies, so you've still got your scoring touch. What will it take against Cafundeu to finally break through?

HIDEO: Well, we've played them twice already, and we looked at the lineup the other day and it looks pretty much like what we've seen from them before. They have a physical defense, and they like to come forward. So I think it might come down to a game of counters, you know, a lot of wide open runs. I mean, Cesar get the winner in their last game, so if they're pushing backs into the attack, that'll open it up for us. With three guys, I think we can get that extra open pass, especially with Shiro's fresh legs. But at the same time, we have to be careful not to expose ourselves. Could be pretty fast. Exciting to watch.

DIRK: Hideo, you've taken your licks in the Cafundeu league now, it seems to have worked out for you. You've refined your game a bit, although I wouldn't call you patient sometimes (Hideo laughs). And a good part of this team is set to join you after this cup is over. Could you talk a little about your club football and how it's helped you.

HIDEO: Well, like you said, getting to play almost year-round is great for conditioning, both in terms of football skills and just physical shape. I've learned a lot playing for America. We've been doing pretty well, did lose the big cup final over there. What's interesting is that I've faced a lot of guys on the Cafundeu team already, and they've played me, so we kind of know each other's playing styles a bit. That just makes it so much harder to get the upper leg on each other, but we always enjoy the challenge, always go at it a bit harder in matches like this. And playing Brandon and Pete is always fun, since we never had the spring tournament when we were in college, so we never got to face each other until now. When you play against your own guys, it gives you a better understanding of them, as well, which really builds the team when you come together.

DEE: Hideo, after you guys beat Cafundeu in qualifying, what was the fan reaction back at America? You didn't have to dodge anything in public, did you?

HIDEO: (laughs) No, not really. I mean, certainly there were some fans who were disappointed and vented for a game or two, but I guess I was fortunate that it was only the first game, so it wasn't of much consequence. If we win and knock them out of the World Cup, I think I might get a little more flak for that. But that's why you play the game, you know, you're in it to win. Our team has been one of the biggest underdogs in this tournament, and you know what, we're hanging around. But we want more. We want to be disruptive and play above where we ought to be. And so we're going to go for it regardless of what happens when we report for preseason training.

DIRK: Hideo, you know we have to ask it - how do you see this game playing out? Give us your prediction?

HIDEO: Well, I'd love to just say that we'll win, you know, make up the goal difference and go on to the next round. But Cafundeu... you know, such a tough team. They figured us out last time, and I think we can even it up a bit more with this new strategy, but even with that they're going to throw a lot of things at us. They can attack from all angles, they control the flow and the tempo of the game, and they're eighth in the world, so they're doing something right. I'm not making any promises, but we'll keep it close. Both teams know how important this is, but we might be a bit more dangerous because we're really just throwing it all out there without caring what comes next.

JAKE: Caution to the wind, says Hideo Ikeda. Thanks for your time. When we come back on this World Cup edition of College Gameday, the prematch festivities continue. Akira Morimoto will join us, so stick around!

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group D: 0-1-1 (3)
MD1: HAN(24) 2-2 (46)GRW (@ ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD2: SQU(4) 4-2 (24)HAN (@ Brecklands, Linford)
MD3: JER(13) --- (24)HAN (@ Walton Gardens, Simpson)


!GONGFU HUSTLE!

SIC - Secret or Silly, depending on your point of view...

病痛唖 - Byeong Tonga (Interrogator)
CI1 - Casari Interrogator #1
CI2 - Casari Interrogator #2
V - victim

ooc: some of the following may be visually disconcerting, even though it's not really happening. So... just be aware and if you're not over 18... grow some hair and pretend you are.

病痛唖: What's with the popcorn?

CI2: I don't know. I figured that watching you interrogate people was getting boring, so I decided to do something.

CI1: *sneezes* Could we not say "that"? Please?

病痛唖: You could try helping me.

CI1: But you're doing everything!

病痛唖: You're a good errand boy. I need that.

CI1: *sneezes* Please!!! I'm allergic!

病痛唖: When's the next victim coming?

CI1: Why do you keep calling them "victims"? They're suspects!

病痛唖: In my opinion, they're animals. But that's another story.

*cricket chirps*

V: At last, we meet.

病痛唖: You!

CI1: What did you say?

病痛唖: You!

CI1 I mean, what did you say?

病痛唖: I said "you"! I know him!

CI2: You're confusing me. You know him? But he's my buddy, how do you know him?

病痛唖: Not him - the Rascal!

CI1: The what what?

病痛唖: The Rascal is one of the most feared members of the Mujeongbu. Rumors say that he is capable of removing a man's heart...

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: ...in a single move! And stop sneezing, really.

V: Byeong-a! We finally meet, and you shall pay for your adherence to the foolish ideology of imperialistic interventionism to forbid the true free choice of the people!

病痛唖: Says you! You only want anarchy to do as you please and oppress the poor. The Empire stands for the values of the common person!

V: Blinded are they, by the ideals of the Empire? To force submission to one man, so that all may be oppressed by one man? Is it not better for the majority to do their will against the will of the few?

CI1: *sneezes*

病痛唖: In the interests of civilization only.

V: Bah! Civilization! A crony word for a men corrupted by the Empire! I shall show you true freedom!

*they lunge into a fighting stance*

CI2: *grabs popcorn bag* Now this is interesting!

*The Rascal and Byeong fight. Moves flutter all around the place.*

病痛唖: You will fail.

V: You think that you can persuade me into failing?

CI1: *sneezes*

V: I will be victorious even before you realize that I have won!

病痛唖: In your dreams.

*Byeong whacks the Rascal in the face with his foot, and they now stand on the ceiling.*

病痛唖: You can choose surrender peacefully.

V: Never! Only by force will I convince you of your faulty ways!

病痛唖: So this is still the war for ideas then?

V: It always has been, and it always shall be!

病痛唖: Then you concede that you will never win the war?

*The Rascal pounds Byeong with a bunch of punches and knocked him to floor. He tries to smash his knee to Byeong, but he moves the table in the way and knocks the Rascal over*

V: ARGH!

CI2: Hey! That was my table!

CI1: *sneezes*

V: *spits blood* You will pay for your insolence! Byeong! AHHHHHH!

*The Rascal extends his arm and unleashes a Qi-force ball alla DBZ - Byeong blocks the blast with his bare hand. He rams into the Rascal's face with his fist and slams him to the ground.*

病痛唖: You made a grave error coming to Casari! And now I will end you!

V: NEVER! *unleashes a great Qi-wave*

*Byeong contains the energy in his palms and returns the blast and annihilates the Rascal*

CI2: *claps* Wow, that was amazing. Let's watch that again!

CI1: *sneezes twice* I need a new job.

病痛唖: I think we've already established that was something to have been decided a long time ago...

CI1: *sneezes* %$#^ this %$#^.

*Everyone unravels their dress and faces an unknown audience, alla Broadway; they start to sing*

All: %$#^ this %$#^. %$#^ this %$#^. Yes, %$#^ this %$#^. You've heard us say it before, but we'll say it again! %$#^ this %$#^. %$#^ this %$#^. Yes, %$#^ this %$#^.

You'll think that we're done with the story,
But you'll be so sorry
That you ever considered
To see this delivered
And yet to hear us say it again!!!

%$#^ this %$#^. %$#^ this %$#^. Yes, %$#^ this %$#^. You've heard us say it before, but we'll say it again! %$#^ this %$#^. %$#^ this %$#^. Yes, %$#^ this %$#^.

*blaring orchestral solo*

All: %$#^ this %$#^. %$#^ this %$#^. Yes, %$#^ this %$#^. You've heard us say it before, but we'll say it again! %$#^ this %$#^. %$#^ this %$#^. Yes, %$#^ this %$#^.

We're happy to show you
The long stupid review
But you're anxious hear
How it'll end so clear
And we'll sing it again!!!

%$#^ this %$#^. %$#^ this %$#^. Yes, %$#^ this %$#^. You've heard us say it before, but we'll say it again! %$#^ this %$#^. %$#^ this %$#^. Yes, %$#^ this %$#^.

*pause*

All: %$#^ this %$#^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeruselem Government News

Scarlet Ferris flags Kara Kool as future leader

Captain of the Princesses, Scarlet Ferris, says Kara Kool is the next potential captain of the team. The experienced Jewish striker is maturing as a leader and looks to be logical replacement when Scarlet retires from International football. Scarlet is only member of the current team who is over 30 and Kara Kool will soon join the over 30's next World Cup. Kara's main issue is her tempermental nature (unusual for a Jewish girl) but she's passionate about her place in the team. She puts in 110% and regards failure to score as a personal failure.

Other candidates for captaincy is the young Kate Sallad and her sister Jacinta Sallad. Kate Sallad seems to be emulating the feats of Kate Dallas with her motivational style of getting fellow teammates to perform. She's not subtle in her methods compared to Scarlet but she's the kind of person who wants to be a leader. Kate Sallad seems to have far less emotional issues that Kate Dallas despite her rantings on the field. Away from the field, she's a normal girl with normal issues.

Jacinta Sallad may not look like a leader, but she commands attention. She's a vocal opponent who likes to keep fellow defenders awake when they are asleep on the job. She seems to get others organised and she prefers a diplomatic approach to leading fellow team members compared to the loud Kate Sallad.

Fiskin Dallas has been in the team for while and could be next Vice-Captain. While she works hard in defense, she's also an experienced campaigner who has the experience to back up the new Captain. As a potential Captain, she's not as energetic or visible as a Sallad girl which could be an issue. Famous Jeruselem female leaders need to seen or need to be controlling the game from midfield. However, her sister Rashina Dallas was of similar character and maybe she can succeed her sister Rashina. She is a Dallas, and could join the other big Dallas names as Captain - Dazza, Debbie, Rashina and Kate. Rashina Dallas was an army officer with real leadership skills while Fiskin might have issues not having the same kind of background. She cannot control her team through strength of character, a trait of Dazza and Kate.

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group D: 0-1-1 (3)
MD1: HAN(24) 2-2 (46)GRW (@ ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD2: SQU(4) 4-2 (24)HAN (@ Brecklands, Linford)
MD3: JER(13) --- (24)HAN (@ Walton Gardens, Simpson)


SERIOUS! SERIOUSLY!

MBC INTERVIEW

Despite falling back to one draw and one loss, the Imperial Team still has the capability to progress to the next stage with a win, and only a win. Ioshido has drawn some fire recently for drawing the match against Green Wombat, but not so much for the loss against Squornshelous. Incidently, Ioshido didn't seem too pleased with the performance against Squornshelous. Now, we present to you an interview with the Head Coach!

吉田 - Ioshido Toki, Head Coach
MBC - Interviewer

MBC: Thank you for meeting with us on such a short notice.

吉田: I'm pleased to do this again.

MBC: So tell us your thoughts on the Imperial Team.

吉田: First, I have to apologize to the fans on behalf of the team. We haven't been performed up to par, and I'll admit that I'm partially responsible for that. Did you just sneeze?

MBC: No.

吉田: Oh. Well, anyway, we've lost against one very strong team and we've held out against a weaker team when a win should have been our goal. But you have to admit that the teams are getting better. After all, this is the World Cup, and only the strongest teams of the season come here to participate after extensive qualifiers. Squronshelous especially. But you can't discredit Green Wombat. They aren't foreigners to the World Cup, and quite frankly, it's about time their luck favored them. I'm sad that it had to come against the Han, but I'll admit that I wasn't in style for that match. I told the players to relax and not to fret too much about the result, but I see that it's starting to hurt us a bit as a result. Nonetheless, regardless a win or draw to Green Wombat, the loss against Squornshelous really set us back.

MBC: What do you think went wrong in the match?

吉田: I honestly can't say that we did anything wrong against Squornshelous. We played a ferociously 90 minutes. I'm sad that the players had to endure that sort of punishment on the field, and they did occasionally make mistakes, but they were playing against a team with superior quality. They do have weaknesses, and we did exploit them when we could.

MBC: Weaknesses?

吉田: Well, their players rely on class to outdo another team, but we have physical aggressiveness. Their players don't try as much to get the same result, but when the Han play, we play to earn our result. You could see the difference in the match. We beat Squornshelous on possession, but unfortunately, you don't get points for possession.

MBC: Isn't that true?

吉田: I swear someone's sneezing somewhere.

MBC: Okay. Well, are you saying that Kim Daeeui and Song Jongguk scored because Squornshelous didn't try hard enough to stop them?

吉田: Not quite. Kim Daeeui's shot was a shot of finesse. I'd just as soon sign up a goalkeeper who could stop a shot like that on any day. Kim Daeeui deserves full credit for the opening goal of the match. But Song Jongguk's shot wasn't as much of finesse but tactical skill. In the closing moments, their defense started to relax too early, and our players saw the opportunity to punish them. Song Jongguk tore through the defense and pressed the goalkeeper out of his comfort zone. The pass to Jeong Jihun got the keeper's hand, but without any defenders to clear the tap, Song had but to knock it over the keeper. I'm telling you. Where we are strong, we will beat any team any day. But Squornshelous simply had the class, and if they truly rely upon that, they won't get too far in this tournament. Our players have great aggressive strength, and they're smart. I'd just as easily play Squornshelous with the same players to see if we could do better the second time.

MBC: Pretty bold, eh?

吉田: Not bold. Just doing our job.

MBC: Well, now about Jeruselem.

吉田: Yes. The Princesses. They're going to be just as tough. But where Squornshelous has class, Jeruselem appears to have strength of quality. their players are also aggressive and smart. Like our team. The one thing that I can say is that the next match is going to be fought in the midfield more than anything. I doubt that the Princesses are going to slack off their last match, and we aren't either. So I'm going to make sure our players in the midfield get all of the rest and practice that they can get.

MBC: Rest and practice? Seems counterintuitive.

吉田: Well, it's just my style. I've also got my strikers out too. They need to be fast to cover back as well, and fast to press on attack. Defenders will need to be fast as well, but only to cover the back. I'm going to hope that our players will all be well-rested with this extension in matches, so we can play our best against Jeruselem.

MBC: That's pretty enlightening. And what about this tetraphobia conspiracy?

吉田: Well, I think it's ridiculous. I mean, there is good reason to fear these teams, but not because they've got unholy numbers or something. They're not the spawn of the devil, and just as much human as anyone else. If we play our best, we will win. If they play their best, you can bet that it will be an intense and tight match. Nothing more, nothing less.

MBC: Thanks for coming out again, Ioshido.

吉田: As always, it's been my pleasure.

Somewhere deep in SBIS HQ....

"...still nothing, sir. Over two weeks, and we're still cut-off; I don't...."

"WAIT!!!! SOMETHING'S HAPPENING!"

"The Oneirometers are registering activity again"

"Portals vvc67xj1 through jjq99999o1 are... belay that - EVERY portal's firing!!!"

"THE SCREENS!!!! I can register at least 567 realities! No! More!!! I CAN TASTE THE COLOURS!!!!"

"Man down! Man down! He's experienced too many realities at once - get a monk in here!"

"I can confirm that every portal's firing! There must have been hundreds - possibly thousands of people trapped in the limbo between realities for over two weeks!"

"All hands to SBIS monitoring; I repeat - All hands to SBIS monitoring!! This is NOT a drill. This is an emergency!!!"

"Nicepherous, make sure the people coming through get attention!"

"Yes sir, I'm trying, but there's so many of them!"

"Andronicus, start compiling a register of people coming through the portals; I want every single one of them ID'd!"

"Yes Sir!"

"Zoe, set up a team to try and monitor everyone going in the other direction; they may need help too."

"Yes Sir!"

"Miguel, do we have any non-Imperial citizens coming through?"

"Early signs show a few, sir. Most registered. We have a giant sentient zucchini, a Starblaydi citizen who seems to have lost 80 years of age in transit, seventeen highly intelligent moths from the moth collective of the mothy universe, a polonium-based lifeform of indeterminate origin, a talking lump of granite, and several male Orthodox youth who were trying to get to the Archregimancy and ended up here by mistake. More probably coming in."

"Excellent - keep them quarantined for the time being, and keep me posted.

"And Alexius..."

"Yes sir?"

"Yours is the most important job of all..."

"Sir?"

"Set up one of the screens to show the Imperial-Casari World Cup match; we can watch the bastard live. Crisis? What crisis......"

"This is it! This is it!"

"It's go time!"

"MAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

"3-0! 3-0!"

"6-1! 6-1!"

"Victory is ours!"

"Wentland is next! And they don't stand a chance"

"Nope"

"How do we do it?"

"I have no idea, really none."

"You're the smart one, you should know"

"Why do I need to know, I know nothing. Here is what I know, I know that 1+1=2 and 2+2=4 and-"

"Wait! Do you hear the people sing?"

"No"

"Goddammit LISTEN!"

"Sorta"

"Good"

"Do you hear the people dance?"

"Why are we becoming like Kura Pelland inserting Broadway musicals into our talks"

"BECAUSE WE CAN! Just listen"

"Fine"

*5 minutes later*

"Wow. I have a totally new perspective on life"

"Me too"

"Well then there is only one thing to do"

"VIVA LA REVOLUCION! VIVA LA MILCHAMA!"

"AESH AESH MILCHAMA! TIZEACH BSPORT KEZAH!"

"Come on you Warriors!"

"The whistle blows dead on 45 minutes and the dullest World Cup first-half in history comes to an end...Wentland had all of the possession but mostly in their half...the only highlight was a pigeon landing near the Islands' penalty spot and meandering around for twenty minutes with no-one near...."

At half-time the team was still a little perturbed. "Bert, it's all very well and good keeping the boss' ticker in shape, but we've got to WIN today! We're not gonna put eight in the last game..."

"That's all part of the plan, lads. We've got to score at the least stress-inducing time possible. Which is just after the start of the second half, when the radio will still be on adverts. So what we will do is this..."

***

"Well, you rejoin us here as Wentland have just taken the lead! From the kick-off the entire team charged forward as a unit and Robinson in goal launched a howitzer of a clearance straight into the mass of Went players...Andy Saint was on the end of it and buried it in the corner. The team has now gone back to its 10-0-0 formation and the Islands have no idea how to break it...

"Yes, it's a bit dull..."

"Quite..."

"However, someone has just painted a fence in front of us, I can see it drying..."

"Yes, no undercoat..."

"It looks like a Martex emulsion coating, in apple white..."

"Yeszzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

JAKE: Akira Morimoto joins us now, midfielder for the Wings in World Cups 39 and 40, and also a member of that vaunted Hazuki State squad. Currently plays in the Han with Jonam. Akira, thanks for stopping by.

AKIRA: Big game coming up, desperate times call for desperate measures, hopefully we don't disappoint.

JAKE: You play the wing out of the midfield, a bit unorthodox perhaps, but it's what you did in the last cup, as well, and it worked out pretty well. But now you've got Benjamin Whittaker to compliment you on the other side, tell us how you've adjusted to him and how you've been able to work together to get here.

AKIRA: Ben's been... wow, Ben's really come along. He really played his way onto the squad, I think, after that Turtle Cup. He's one of the hardest workers out there. He still lacks the good touch sometimes, but when it comes to effort, you can't outdo him. Just can't. And that's been a huge help to us, because that lets us attack from either side. If we're going to beat Cafundeu, we need to have the ability, you know, to ride with their flow, because it's so difficult get control from them. Either of us can make that run, and if we miss the cross, well, the other one cleans up and sends it right back in. Got to keep bringing that pressure.

DIRK: So how do you decide who gets the dead ball? You both like to take those, and it's really how you made your name in school.

AKIRA: (laughs) Well, I definitely prefer to take them if I can, and I'd prefer him in the box. He's taller than me. But it doesn't hurt to switch it up once in awhile, because we can both line up, and probably get a quality ball whoever takes it. I don't know that we're a strong enough pair to really scare a defense in that situation, but we want to be. And that's why we both work so hard even if I take most of them.

DEE: Akira, you're one of many midfielders out of that first class of players, and looking at the team now, you're loaded up with more. Is it just that Dancougar lacks good players at other positions, what's your take on that?

AKIRA: Well it really started with what Coach French was running at school. A healthy crop of midfielders lets guys shift roles and positions on the fly. Some can attack, some can defend, and you have so much flexibility during the course of the game. We did it so well, that teams started mimicking that, and even though forwards get the goals and the glory, there's no shortage of guys who want to play midfield. We do pretty things with the ball and control the game in some sense. The best defense against a good team like Cafundeu is to win the battles in midfield, because they can't do anything without the ball. And any of us can pop a goal. We'll take shots, too, if we get them.

DIRK: Akira, last time you played Cafundeu, Flecha put up a hat trick on you. How do you contain him?

AKIRA: Oh, wow, I don't know if he can be. Flecha is bad enough to try and cover with his skill set, but the experience he brings onto the field is incredible. Chances are if you throw it at him, he's already seen it five or six times, you know, it's so hard to shut him down. And like I said, the best way to deal with him is to make sure he doesn't get the ball. Cut down the passing lanes, fight hard for those loose balls, and make sure he doesn't get behind you. Ever. I think he'll keep Musashi and Brandon busy, so we have to do our part to support them.

DEE: But don't get too worried about him, or the rest of this team will beat you!

AKIRA: That's the thing. Flecha is a great leader and sets the tone for what they like to do, but you can't let anyone on that team do what they want. Da Silva brings a lot to the table, he's very creative and can start something before you even see the danger. We need to keep an eye on him when he's lining up to pass. And Moreira is a guy who doesn't get a lot of attention, but I've watched him on tape, and he really has a good eye, picks out a run and makes the long pass very well. Fast player, can drop down on you just like that. So they have so many weapons, all we can do is try to counter as well as we can. Ben and I bring speed down either side of the field, Boris is going to spying back on defense a bit. And three guys up front, Gooj gives us a great target if we want a long cross and header. And Shiro will want to prove something, I think, in his first start.

JAKE: Akira Morimoto, thanks for coming. So Dancougar and Cafundeu, two games together in qualifying, and they split it. Let's look back at those matches...

(Words overlaid on the screen, with highlights - Cafundeu 3 @ Dancougar 5)

CALL: "Marcelinho wins the header. Now Underwood gets to it. Forward to Morimoto who traps it on the chest. He plays square to Leyton, who has room to move. Leyton brings it up field and now over to Whittaker. Whittaker sends in a low cross. Behind Alex, IKEDA IS THERE. AND IKEDAAAAAAA... GOOOOOOOOOOAL! And the roar of the crowd confirms it, it's a goal for Hideo Ikeda, who redirects it past the diving Moises! The vision from Whittaker, looks up and spots a gap in the Cafundeu defense, and puts it right in the path of Ikeda's run, and that almost looked too easy!"

CALL: "Da Silva takes the throw, brought in by Augusto Cesar. Cesar. Cesar. Dribbles into space and hits a long cross for Moreira. Moreira chests it down for Marcelinho, he's on a run, and down he goes! Tries to split the defense, and that'll be obstruction on Weatherford, free kick outside of twenty five. Well, not much the defense could do there, caught in the quick transition. Weatherford just clips Marcelinho on the run past. Minute forty. Two-one to the Black Wings, and Marcelinho to take it. It's a cracker, AND IT'S A GOAL!! GOOO~LA~ZO! And that was brilliant no matter how you slice it, Marcelinho places it over the wall, and Watanabe doesn't even flinch! Look at it again, right through a gap in the wall between Barclay and Boskov, and it curves into the near post!"

CALL: "Silveira has the ball at the top of the circle, and carries it into Black Wing territory. It's been frantic defense for the last five minutes, all eleven Black Wing players are in their own half. Silveira looks for an opening. Square ball to Alex. Alex looks to play it up for Marcelinho. Marcelinho with it, forced to play it back to Marcelo Rocha. Eighty seventh minute, and we can expect two or three minutes of stoppage, I would think. Rocha. Up to Silveira, and, DISPOSSESSED! Leyton stepped up to break up the pass, and now Boskov is racing upfield with it! Alex coming over to help, and Boskov chips it ahead! Jinguuji is there, and he's ONSIDE! ONSIDE IS JINGUUJI! MOISES STRANDEDDDDDDD...!!! Stunner!! Shishio Jinguuji has made it five! And surely that's three points! Textbook break, they ignore the fatigue, and Boskov connects with Jinguuji to make it a classic!"

(Words overlaid on the screen, with highlights: Dancougar 2 @ Cafundeu 6)


BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Flecha’s first goal): “And the ball goes to the attack, a fast pass frrrrrrom Silveirrrrra to Da Silva! Good ball contrrrrrrol, has some options in the attack. Makes the pass... excellent one, Flecha enterrrrrrs in the arrrrrrea with only the keeper to beat, he shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Let’s see the rrrrreplay! Flecha, number nine! Cafundéu one, Dancougar zerrrrrro! Prrrrrroblems with your shower? Want a bigger one or a morrrrre efficient one? Go to Adhemar Chuveirrrrrros, the place with the biggest number of shower options, frrrrrom the cheapest to the most luxurrrrrrious!”

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Alex’s goal): “Thrrrrree points being guarrrrranteed by Cafundéu with this victorrrrry against Dancougar, herrrrre in the Obelisco Monumental! Five goals scorrrrrred, two sufferrrrrred, a rrrrrreal goalfest, an incrrrrrredible game! And therrrrrre is time for morrrrrre things to happen, as Cafundéu has a corrrrrrner kick. Marrrrrrcelinho to take it frrrrrrrom the left side. He sends the ball to the arrrrrrea, the playerrrrrrrs go to head... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! A rrrrreplay that must be seen! Alex, number thrrrrree! Cafundéu six, Dancougar two! Feel the grrrrrreat taste and the enerrrrrrgy that only the Guarrrrrraná gives to you! A wonder that comes frrrrrrom the naturrrrre, for you to consume! Amazon, prrrrroducts made with guarrrrrraná!”

JAKE: Sixteen goals in two matches, they've played some exciting football. But now with World Cup survival on the line, can we expect even more action?

DEE: You hope so, and it appears like both teams are preparing to go all-out on the attack, play positive football, and earn their ticket to round two. One thing to watch - Moreira was injured in the second qualifier between these two, and now he's back. Akira was saying that he doesn't get much attention; well, tonight I think he'll make up for it.

DIRK: Yeah, I think Cafundeu is still the stronger team, and they'll want to put the pressure on Bostopia. Remember, a Cafundeu win forces Bostopia to beat SLANI to stay in the running, and opponents are oh for twelve this time around. You can't like the odds, but Bostopia came very close to taking down the Monopolists. They've still got a lot of energy left and are not afraid to take chances.

JAKE: Final thoughts on the Wings, guys.

DIRK: They're so close to the next round they can taste it, but it's too soon for this team. The Wings still have too many question marks on defense, and although goalkeeper Yuji Watanabe has played pretty well all things considered, he's going to face a lot of shots tonight. The Cafundeu team will want to give him a proper welcome to their league with a little rookie hazing, and what better way to do it than an avalanche of goals?

DEE: Well, I think you're too pessimistic. Yes, this team is playing above its level, but why not? From their point of view, they're not supposed to have this chance, so why do they have to lose? I think you'll see spirited football from them, but I would worry about them running out of gas. If they're going to try and keep pace with Cafundeu and always push forward, they'll tire themselves out and give the Monopolists a lot of attacking opportunities. That's what happened in that 6-2 loss in qualifying, and they need to make sure that doesn't happen again. More patience in picking the shots, and there's no reason to believe they can't put three or four in the net if those forwards start clicking.

JAKE: Forty thousand Dancougar fans will be hoping they do; they've made the journey here to Foundation Road, home of the famous club Iskara Daii, to watch what is the game that may define this World Cup 40 team. That's all for us, we'll be back after the game with highlights and a breakdown of all the night's action. You can get more on the web by visiting us at DSPN.dan, keyword "World Cup 40." Jake Matthews, saying good night from Jhanna.

(OOC: a match report unrelated to the WC itself, but related to players that are playing it)

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
CAFUNDELENSE LEAGUE
Big Rivalries, Big Games, Great Football!

SEASON 8 LEAGUE COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CAFUNDÓ DO JUTA CONQUISTA TÍTULO EM TERCEIRA VITÓRIA SEGUIDA CONTRA PETARDOS S/A!

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Cafundó do Juta players commemorate title

The last game of the Cafundelense season is ever a special one. Of course, as it is the final game of the league, the most important competition of the whole nation. This is the eighth edition of the league since Cafundéu joined the World Cup, and now the league is among the best of the world, with quality players from all around the world and with teams that everyone know the name. This time, the teams that are in the final are the rich Petardos S/A, the most successful team of the country, known for spending a lot of money in players, and Cafundó do Juta, a team from the capital city of the country, and the team that has the largest fanbase among all the teams of the Cafundelense league. So, a huge game.

Petardos S/A reached the grand final after winning the first phase, the league one. The team is the defending champion of the league, and could win it for the fourth time in eight editions, something that would be very impressive. They failed to win the title already in the second phase, as the team reached the final but was defeated by Cafundó do Juta twice. And the grey team is again the opponent of Petardos. After winning the second phase, Cafundó do Juta reached the final with confidence, ready to defeat Petardos S/A for the third consecutive time.

THE FIRST HALF: when the game started, it was clear that it was going to be a very disputed game, a football show. Both teams are offensive ones, although Petardos S/A is much more offensive than Cafundó do Juta. But, this time, the teams had the same strategy, using many short passes and some offensive individual plays. In the first minutes, the players controlled more the ball and didn’t advance much to the attack. But, after the fifteenth minute, the game became very entertaining, as the attacks were more intense and fast. In one chance, Hawk sent the ball to Fresco inside the area, who shot to the goal. Rodriguez made an excellent save, and linked the counterattack to Carlos Magno, who avoided the marking of Gian and shot to the goal. The ball hit the post and went wide. The supporters of both teams were very active during these attacks.

Such an offensive game had to have goals. And they were scored before the thirtieth minute of the first half. Newton dribbled Eager and passed the ball to Hawk, who shot and scored a goal. But he was in offside position, so the goal was disallowed. Just two minutes after, Hocn sent the ball to Vélez in the attack, who avoided Índio and passed the ball to Flecha to score. The supporters of the capital team commemorated a lot, making jokes about Petardos S/A. The billionaires tried to react with Newton, who shot from outside the area, but missed the goal. Cafundó do Juta kept attacking too, in one play Ulcviecel invaded the area alone and shot. The ball hit the post. But the Silver Squadron could score again in the first half. Ulcviecel received the ball in the entrance of the area and passed it to Vélez. The attacker invaded the area running and shot with strength to score the second goal. The first half ended 2x0.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Flecha’s goal): “Ball in the midfield now, Hocn with the ball. Good ball contrrrrrrrol from the Valanoran... has Vélez in the left and Ulcviecel in the rrrrrrrright as options. Prrrrrreferrrrrrs to pass to Vélez, the fast attacker rrrrrrreaches the arrrrrrrea, grrrrrrreat move, a pass to Flecha, he shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundó do Juta! Come on, rrrrreplay, come to me! Flecha, number nine! Cafundó do Juta one, Petarrrrrdos S/A zerrrrrrro! Want a healthy, fast and delicious juice? But not something that would take time or worrrrrrrk frrrrrrrom you? So, buy the powder juice Kisalute, on sale in the better storrrrrres of the countrrrrrry, surrrrrrrely in a superrrrrrrmarrrrrrrket close to you!”

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Vélez scores the second goal of Cafundó do Juta

THE SECOND HALF: the responsibility of reacting was at the hands of Petardos S/A, as the team was losing by two goals of difference. But, even with this in mind, the coach Christophe Argentier decided to not make substitutions, only changing the mentality of the team. Playing even more offensive, but with more long passes. Cafundó do Juta maintained the strategy, as it worked in the two previous games against Petardos S/A and was working in this one. But the billionaires nearly scored in the first minute of the second half. Hawk exchanged passes with Haakana in the midfield and passed the ball to Lennie Newton. The legendary player invaded the area and lobbed the keeper. Kaneda appeared to clear the ball over the line, saving his team. Seeing that the team needed more defending, Bosschaart put Bonfá in Ulcviecel’s place.

The strategy worked. Although Petardos S/A had more ball possession and seemed to control the midfield, Cafundó do Juta could stop their plays very fast, and Newton was being well-marked. Fresco appeared sometimes to finish, but Bahsir was fast to stop him. And it was the Yaforite player the one that created the play of the third goal. Bahsir got the ball still in the defensive area and went to the midfield. He held the ball for some moments and sent directly to the area. Players jumped to head it, and the ball left the area. But Eager shot in the rebound with strength, and Lauro couldn’t even react... the goal was scored. That was a disaster for Petardos S/A, who would need a miracle to win the title at that time. They continued attacking, being pushed forward by the supporters. And, in a good chance created by Gian, Di Angelo received the ball inside the area and shot, to score the single goal of the billionaires. But it was just that. The game ended, and Cafundó do Juta won the title.


BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Di Angelo’s goal): “Cafundó do Juta now just contrrrrrrrols the ball... the team has a good advantage and has its hands on the trrrrrrrrophy... just more fifteen minutes to win the league! Rrrrraulzito with the ball... oh, he loses it, Gian starrrrrrrts a counterrrrrrrattack, it seems a verrrrrry good chance for Petarrrrrrdos S/A, Gian rrrrrreaches the entrrrrrrance of the arrrrrrrea, passes the ball to Di Angelo, inside the arrrrrrrea, will scorrrrrre... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Petarrrrrdos S/A! The rrrrrreplay is herrrrrre to be seen! Di Angelo, number seventeen! Now it’s Petarrrrrrrdos S/A one, Cafundó do Juta thrrrrrree! Our childrrrrrrren are the futurrrrrrre of our countrrrrrry... so, they must be well-educated. Thinking this way, you should put your kids to study in the efficient and big Imperrrrrrial School... a money that will be well-invested!”

CURIOUS MOMENTS: a final like this one ever has something interesting. One of the strange things that happened during the game was when Rubiano tried to score in the 80th minute. He reached the entrance of the area and shot using all his strength. The ball went over the bar, but his right shoe left his foot... and went right to the hands of the goalkeeper Rodriguez! When the keeper realized that it was a shoe, not the ball, he threw it to the ground. The microphones also got an interesting conversation between Laborious Hawk and Caj Ilmari. Waiting for a corner kick to be taken, Ilmari asked to Hawk: “Do you think it is going to rain today?” Something that was replied by Hawk: “Probably, but just after the game.” And Ilmari said: “I hope so. My car is parked outside, I don’t want it to get wet.” Then the corner was taken and Ilmari fouled Hawk.

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: the final game of the league. The Silver Squadron defeats the billionaires again and wins the title. A deserved title, as this Cafundó do Juta team is a very strong one. Petardos S/A can only lament the result and get prepared for the next season. The coach of Cafundó do Juta, Eduardo Bosschaart, told the press: “It is the best moment of my entire career. Now I’m in a big team, winning a big title. I’d like to thank everyone that trusted on me to do this job... more things will come, I’m sure of it.” The defeated Christophe Argentier said: “In five games in this year’s league, they won four, and drew one. They were in better form against us, without doubt. Let’s think about next season.” The man of the match, Hizzen Hocn, said: “This is a special moment for me too. Winning the league is something that every player wants to do. Where’s Ilmari to lift the trophy?”

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Di Angelo commemorates his goal... too late

PETARDOS S/A 1x3 CAFUNDÓ DO JUTA

Place: Arena América, in Abadia (adapted to hold more people).
Attendance: 166,593 people.
Referee: José Eduardo Carrasco (Central State).
Linesmen: Mauro Henning and Tarcísio Ananiel Nussuarena (Central State).
MOTM: Hizzen Hocn (Cafundó do Juta)

http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/7313/olariabraaz3.gif PETARDOS S/A: Lauro; Coelho, Índio (Silvinho 71’), Isaacs and Eduardo Monte; Gian, Di Angelo, Hawk and Haakana (Fe-Do 63’); Fresco and Newton (Rubiano 71’).
Coach: Christophe Argentier.

http://img180.imageshack.us/img180/2236/libertadparet9.gif CAFUNDÓ DO JUTA: Rodriguez; Bahsir, Eager and Kaneda; Carlos Vergara, Hocn, Ilmari and Carlos Magno (Raulzito 68’); Ulcviecel (Bonfá 58’), Flecha and Vélez.
Coach: Eduardo Bosschaart.

Goals:PSA: Di Angelo 76’.
CJU: Flecha 28’ , Vélez 40’ , Eager 64’.

Before the big game against the Han

Sister Marsha
"OK team, Jane isn't here because she's sorting out something with sick kids in Jeruselem. Most of you have kids so you know what it's all about. It's going be hard game so everyone will need to be at their best today. Now everyone, our main keeper is out so everyone be aware we using the reserve keepers. Can we keep our weird antics to the end of the game. we need to be focussed. I know people like Kara and Kate will be tempted to be very aggressive but can you please keep that for end of the game so we don't get people sent off early. I want to all out there to work hard and keep it clean. No hitting people or calling them funny names - or abusing the ref. And girls, keep your clothes on until the end of the game. I know the Sallad girls have issues being obscene. Good luck team, Jane is coming back but I'm in charge for now. I'm leaving all ranting to Kate and Kara. I'm no good at being noisy and loud. Do what the captain Scarlet says. Remember, we should be good people out there. No violence please. We want win but not in a bad way. We are the Princesses not the thugs. Although, we really should be called the Whores because of that Dazza woman but nevermind. God bless you Jeruselem."

QSPN SportsBiz Tonight

"Hi and welcome to SportsBiz Tonight, I'm your host, Jim Kyles. Today's topic: The World Cup Delay. Joining me is two writers who cover the World Cup, from the Bruxen Times, Harold Gainer and from the New Recife Forum, Mike Bastwick. We'll start with you Mike, You are currently in Krytenia along with the team. Any new updates as to why the World Cup has been delayed for a week?"

"Jim, the offical word is infrastructure problems. Appearently, one of the stadia has had a section of upper deck seats collapse unto the seats below. The WCC is now as of yet not releasing the name of the stadium, but it is here in Krytenia, and it is not the stadium the Pheonix is scheduled to play in, whenever they re-start Cup play."

"Harold, any word from the Starblaydia side, where you are covering the Cup of Harmony?"

"None as of yet, The Starblaydi officals are keeping things under wraps here as well to prevent panic amongst both the participants and the spectators. The stadium in question is not one being used for the Cup of Harmony, and if my sources are correct, it was a stadium to be used this past weekend for an opening round match."

"Why not just come right out an say which stadium? or why not move the game to Starblaydia, Mike?"

"Well Jim, first of all the KFA is trying prevent panic amongst the players and spectators here. They are working around the clock to remove the debris and repair the section as fast as possible. As for moving the game, the KFA is unwilling to allow Starblaydia to host more matches, and that is a common problem in the World Cup, as each host tries to have the same number of matches."

"Harold, would the SFA be willing to host the match if need and where if they do?"

"Well they have offered to host the match, but as to where the match will be held, if it is moved to Starblaydia, is anyone's guess at this point. Most of the stadia in both nations were scheduled to have as little travel possible within a group."

"Mike, if this delay lasts any longer what kind of problems might Krytenia face?

"According the the KFA, all the stadia were only available for a limited time frame for matches, and now with the World Cup schedule backed up, some other previously scheduled events might have to be either cancelled or moved to other dates, which will cause more backlogs of unavailible dates in case of inclement weather or other factors."

"Is this unscheduled break causing similar problems in Starblaydia, Harold?"

"No, the Starblaydi's don't have a similar problem, with the domestic league Cup finals scheduled for a week after the World Cup finals. As of yet, there is no major schedule problems for either the World Cup or the Cup of Harmony over here, but if this delay lasts much longer, then scheduling conficts may occur."

"Thank you gentlemen for that update. And now to viewer replies about last week's top story The Mismanagement of public funds in Pika City to build a gridiron stadium. We'll get to those right after this commerical break..."

Russ flopped down on the couch and went for the remote. All of that out of character secret agent work was more than he'd bargained for, and on top of that, they hadn't had a chance to watch much of World Cup 40 or its qualifiers. "Man... is that what actual work is like? Daaaaaamn!" He started flipping through the channels, looking for a football news magazine or some such nonsense. "Pete, next time something like that comes up, can you hit me and make sure it doesn't?"

"Dude, I forgot we had this!" Russ turned to see Peter emerge from the closet with a robotic chicken. "The professor gave us this one to test, I guess, and he never took it back and never got a chance to battle that dude with the ducks. Do you know what this means?" Russ blinked. "We have a robot chicken, a webcam, and some spare time."

"Ooooooooooh... we're going to do that..."

=============================================

The Kingdom of Dancougar, in association with the OOC Theater, presents the Robot Chicken World Cup 40 Special!

IT'S ALI~IVE!

(------------CLICK------------)

A knock on the door. Hugh Hefner rises from his seat and walks to the door in a silk bathrobe. Behold - the Sallad girls, topless.

KATE: Wii would like to play.

(------------CLICK------------)

CI1: Beads of jade, for beauty. You must proudly show it.

He hangs a necklace around the neck of the victim.

CI1: Now add a cricket, just for luck...

BYEONG: Oh, hell no!

(------------CLICK------------)

ST. PETER: Well then, Mister Hacker, it looks like everything's in order. Seems like this is one injunction you can live with.

The pearly gates slide open, and Norman takes a step forward.

ST. PETER: At least, that's what I would be saying if we didn't have a quota and a massive overbooking of dudes.

The clouds open from under him, and Norman falls helplessly from the sky.

GABRIEL: No we don't!

ST. PETER: But did you see the look on his face? Totally worth it.

(------------CLICK------------)

NICEPHORUS: I don't understand, sometimes the portal works just fine, but lately all we can get through it are small animals and the occasional paper parcel.

VON MADSCIENTISTO: Joo see, zee portull to reality, eet ees not sumsing joo can jes doomp sumsing on, eetz not a bick truck. Eets a series of tubes... und ze tubes can be feeled, eef ze creeturs get stuck, und ze portull ees delayed.

NICEPHORUS: Ah, that does make some sense! One of the monks sent me a reality just last week, and I didn't get it until today!

VON MADSCIENTISTO: I sink I heff ze solvinks...

A picture spirals into view in the portal as Von Madscientisto tinkers with the settings. And I'm pretty sure you all know what's coming next.

PORTAL: Never gonna give you up...

(------------CLICK------------)

NATASHA: ... and then, Debbie Does Dallas, my word, completely false advertising! I swear, you can't trust anyone in that business anymore.

SIMEONE: Oh, COME ON, this is what I'm in for? An eternity of this? Screw this, I'm out of here.

Simeone Di Brandini gets up from his seat and walks out, looking down at the earth below. He scours the surface for anything vaguely resembling a pentagram or Book of the Dead. Anything that could summon him back. When suddenly...

GUY: ... and you, who were so sporting in life, and a leader to us all, we implore you now to return to us...

SIMEONE: I knew they'd miss me! Honey, I'm home!

Di Brandini bounces off of the cloud and happily flies down to the surface. His body rises out of the ground. He stands up, having returned in his full glory...

GUY: HEEEEEEYYY, you're not Emperor Boston!

(------------CLICK------------)

MANDY LYNN: I don't know what you're up to, but we have a match to win, and I'd like my cleats back.

AGENT SMITH: Miz Lynn... what good are cleats, if you don't have any feet?

Mandy looks down at her bare feet, and back at Smith, hopelessly confused.

AGENT SMITH: I'm just saying...

(------------CLICK------------)

BYEONG: Not talking, eh? Well, we'll change your tune soon enough.

CI1: I don't know... we've already done most everything we can do.

CI2: We even hit him in the face with that cake pan we got from Dancougar. Actually we should clean that, it's getting moldy from the last time we baked something.

CI1: Have we even been cleaning it between bakings?

CI2: No.

CI1: Son of a...! *vomits*

BYEONG: Hey, hey, don't you start that now, we just got the victims to stop!

CI2: Well, suspects.

BYEONG: Suspects!

CI2: It certainly helps to not use the prod.

BYEONG: Though it's admittedly less entertaining.

CI2: Anyway, this guy says he's a mute. *sneezes*

BYEONG: Since when did YOU start sn... wait, what?!

(------------CLICK------------)

BRENO GAVIÃO: I trrrrrrrrrrrrried to sign up forrrrrrrrrrrrrr Google AdWorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrds, but as it turrrrrrrrrrrrrrns out, nobody types a querrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry for worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrds with a million rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs.

(------------CLICK------------)

JAKE: Introductory statement telling viewers which teams are playing and what happened in Dancougar's last match, followed by a vague question regarding the offense or defense as a unit.

DEE: Initial observation of a problem that unit faced in the previous match and its affect on the outcome. General suggestion for a possible improvement.

DIRK: Additional details to support or counter Dee's position, centering around a player who has been singled out whether or not they actually had an impact. Make it sound like they're very important by using positive adjectives with "very," but throw in a weakness to appear fair and unbiased.

JAKE: Follow up question to play off of Dirk's assessment, phrased as a statement to direct the discussion down a single path.

DIRK: Ignore the path and bend the question into a general discussion of strategy for the upcoming match, focusing on one area in particular because I don't watch the games that closely.

DEE: Agreement with Dirk and further evidence of his correctness, followed by assertions of the outcome should those strategies be implemented.

JAKE: Concluding remarks and random factoid about the game.

There was something different and there shouldn't have been. It was another game with the national team.

But...the finals, ah, the finals were something else again, weren't they? More focused, packed together (or something like that, she'd never been clear on the time dilation)-more publicized, and deservedly. People who knew even less about football than her vaguely disapproving friends, so disappointed when such a nice girl might have thrown her life away for some silly game-the truly clueless, the people who didn't know enough to be ashamed-for once in however long, they would watch the game.

In the qualifiers they had been top seeds, too good to root for. Now they were second, and bottom of the group to boot. Now they could rally back. It were upsets that inspired fandom: she had been younger than some of the others that joined after World Cup 36, but a scoreline like Bettia 0-3 Zwangzug was not easily forgotten.

"Okay," Steven said to the handful of midfielders who were paying attention, "so Bettia play an attacking game."

"As opposed to?" Megan retorted.

"Symmetry," shrugged Evan, as the ball he had been bouncing on his head fell off.

Steven squeezed his eyes shut, then reopened them. "Yeah. Okay. So. Lots of midfielders. Be...ready for that."

"You mark whatshisface," Eddie said to Megan.

"Ziaaq?" she guessed.

"Him. It. Yeah."

And the game was on.

Brendan won the kickoff and passed forward to Evan, but Ziiaq was a whirlwind in the midfield. Megan's greatest challenge was not his imposing size, however-it was remaining competitive, unable to step back and enjoy the game as a fan.

Victories didn't come as easily as they seemed reminiscing in front of the television later. Sprint after sprint of exertion, separated by quieter tactical stretches, slowly grew to a peak as Evan headed the ball to Gary, who shot and sent bin Jaffar diving the wrong way.

And then onward. Gwent outwitted her as he passed up to al-Sikamaya, and Natalie leapt to deflect his impressively-on-target pass. Struggling to keep focus, Megan received the pass and slowly wove forward, tapping the ball to Phillip who looped around Barkley, scoring to double the lead.

Halftime was filled with random distractions-it was the finals, after all, with enough of an audience that it would be crammed full of pointless diversions. But soon enough the ocean air off the Nemyan Straights was blowing across the pitch, and they were playing again.

With a sizable lead, she could focus on the task she loved best-defending. But when Eddie, rejuvenated for the big game, won the ball away from Cirebon, he charged ahead, and Peter ably received the pass for the third goal.

In those few quick moments before play restarted, she called over, "You would wait until we're up two this late."

He shrugged. "Yeah. Yeah, maybe I would."

And by full time, she was smiling too.

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc40/
AEROPAG, JI · 2146–06–15 · 0.10 g Au

Sports: Supporters slate SLANI squad selection
PRONTERA, NM—The Capitalizt SLANI Underground Cohorts’ Klub (Capitalizt SUCK), the largest supporter club in the Unified Capitalizt States, issued a press release yesterday denouncing SLANI manager Alfreda Alesanka for selecting a “sub-par” starting squad for the World Cup group stage match against Dancougar, which the team won by the slim margin of 2–1. According to the president of SUCK, whose name we could not find due to confusion with a Yafalonian and Bazorite entity, “Not putting our best players on the pitch destroys the integrity of the World Cup. It makes the schedule more important than the players. Teams that play a weaker opponent right before a stronger one get to rest their starting squad; a luxury their opponents might not be afforded. SLANI could win every match in this Cup, and we’ll still never know how they would have done if they had tried their best against Dancougar, or how well Dancougar would have fared against the best of the best.” Another opinion posted on the SUCK website echoed the president’s, and had this to add: “This game isn’t about winning; it’s about entertainment. Watching the Dancougar side fight valiantly to cope with the full strength of the SLANI attack would have been far more entertaining than the farce we got to see.”

Capitalizt SLANI manager Alfreda Alesanka was quick to dismiss the criticisms today in a press conference before the match against Bostopia. “With all due respect to the fans, who are an important part of the game, I was hired by Capitalizt SLANI to win trophies. Playing entertaining football is fine—and I think this team has proven itself capable of doing so on many occasions—but only when it does not interfere with my primary objective. In this case, we need to be prepared for whatever Bostopia has up their sleeves, or gun barrels, or wherever Bostopians hide stuff.” Unsurprisingly, this statement has only fueled the debate, with videos being flung all over the Internet. Some have even gone so far as to start a campaign to get Alesanka, who has won the World Cup and Oriental Cup for Capitalizt SLANI and four Élite Leagues, three TechConGroup Cups, two Élite League Cups, one Tournoi IRC, and the TakilQuip Champions’ Cup for club side Yuba United, fired from both posts. The Silver–Blues have quickly denied any possibility of this, citing a contract with Alesanka that keeps him at the club for five years, with sacking only a possibility if Yuba sits in the bottom half of the Élite League table in the second half of the season. SLANI has been much more tight-lipped about its contract with Alesanka, and prefers not to comment at all on the speculation.

Alesanka did confirm, however, that the usual starting eleven—the same lineup as the nine-goal thriller against Cafundéu in their opening match–would play Bostopia, barring any injuries. The Capitalizts need only a draw to secure advancement to the second round, but that result seems unlikely, as the team has won thirteen games on the trot, starting with the World Cup 39 final. Bostopia will surely be looking to end that streak, but may not advance even with a win, as a big win by Cafundéu against Dancougar could put the Monopolists through instead.

A glimmering light shone through the mist, not more than a foot diameter, but there was light coming through the thing that had envoloped the country. The sailors on board the vessels patrolling the area began to break out in celebration, thinking that whatever dark force this cloud was was starting to dissipiate and weaken.

"Quick, we should take a few boats in and see if we can find any survivors. Surely this is a sign from Elune that she beckons us in and to aid our countrymen!" a sailor on board the Admiral's vessel shouted.

"Belay that order. I will not risk what few men I have for a small shimmer of light coming through that cloud. Not until we can once again see land shall any one of us brave the condition and go in search of those who might be alive." Admiral Rúmil Telperiën ordered.

With the giving of the order the men's celebrations were quickly crushed and the mood went from hopeful to grim once again. Rúmil knew that his men wanted to hold out hope that nothing had happened, that it was all just some natural occurance, but he knew better. Giant expanding clouds that are inpentrable to the naked eye are not something that the green planet would allow, nor would Elune let live in her domain by choice. This was something very dark and dangerous, and he would need more than just a flicker of light to tell him that the worst was over.

Matchday Three, we hardly knew ye. RP Bonus cut-off, with Groups A-D posted here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13648285&postcount=28).

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

WORLD CUP XL
Match Day 3: KRYTENIA


This team is CURSED. Qazox becomes the first team, (at least in a long while) to have failed to advance in 6 straight World Cup Finals. That make it 8 overall trips and ZERO 2nd round appearances for the Pheonix.

Maria Cruz-Preli scored in the 76th minute as a subsitute for Anderson Tarricone, but the damage was done early as Krytenia's Gabriel Kennedy scored in the 11th minute, giving the co-host a 1-0 lead. Kennedy added a second goal in the 39th minute, increasing the lead to 2-0. With the crowd in Isserson Stadium at a fever pitch, the Pheonix had little chance to mount a comeback. And the chances effectively died when Carl Lismond made it 3-0 in the 60th minute, all but eliminating Qazox from advancement to the next round.

The good news, if any from this is that the team has been together for 8 years and at the next Cup will have 12 years of playing experience, but as hiustory has shown, that hasn't help the Pheonix at all either. Maybe hosting the Cup will be the only chance of getting out of the first round, but without more hosting experience, the chances of that happening are slim to none.

QAZOX Qualifiers and Playoff SCORING:
Kallie Jaus- 8 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 8
Renna Valladores- 7
Stevie Spingler- 2
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Jeffie Huhman- 1


Qazox WORLD CUP Scoring:
Anderson Tarricone
Kallie Jaus
Renna Valladores
Maria Cruz-Preli



SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia in Krytenia L 1-2 QSPN2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan W 2-1 QSPN2 (5-1-2)
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. W 3-1 QSPN2 (6-1-2) CLINCHED PLAYOFF BERTH
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) L 1-5 QSPN (6-1-3)

PLAYOFFS:
P1: @ Prux L 1-2 QSPN
P2: vs. Prux @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) W 4-0 QSPN
(Qazox advances on 5-2 aggregate)

WORLD CUP:
M1: Yafor 2 @ Draconium Arena, Caversham L 1-3 QSPN
M2: Demot @ The Mound, Secklow W 2-0 QSPN
M3: Krytenia @ Isserson Stadium, Emberton L 1-3 QPSN
World Cup Record: 1-0-2 4th in Group A
Qualifer Record: 6-1-3 2nd in Group 13
Playoff record: 1-0-1 (+2 GD)
OVERALL 8-1-6

Green Wombat Daily Tattler

WORLD CUP Blasting


Squornshelous scored the first 5 goals of the match, all in the first half as they cruised to an easy 6-1 win over the Wombats, clinching the Group D title and advancing into the next round of the World Cup.

While the Wombats finally got a point, the last two matches showed why they were ranked as the worst team in the Cup. But considering where this team was just 12 years ago, just getting back to the World Cup is an achievement in and of itself.

4 years from now, perhaps the team will make it back, perhaps not. But they will have a better chance now with some experience under their belt.


GREEN WOMBAT AT THE WORLD CUP:
WC34 M1: L 1-2 Jeruselem
WC34 M2: L 1-2 The Lowland Clans
WC34 M3: L 0-1 Oliverry
WC35 M1: L 0-3 Az-cz
WC35 M2: L 0-2 Demot
WC35 M3: L 0-2 The Archregimancy
WC40 M1: D 2-2 Daehanjeiguk
WC40 M2: L 1-6 Jeruselem
WC40 M3: L 1-6 Sqournshelous

Overall record 0-1-8

It's 6:44am UK Time, and I can't be bothered to think of anything witty.

This is your MD3 E-H cutoff.

A fair fight.

There are many definitions of a fair fight. Fair enough so that who or whatever you're fighting has, all thing being equal, a fifty-fifty chance of defeating you, and you it? Fair in that everyone is equipped the same, or fair in that you have just the slightest advantage over nature in order to be worthwhile.

Fighting a bear, for instance, is in no way fair if the human goes to it with just his, for the sake of example and no pun intended, bare hands. Bears are much larger than man, with denser bones and muscles with sharp claws and powerful jaws. Man has many weapons at his disposal, however, a club, a blade, mastery over horse and hound, among others. This particular man had mastery over one of the finest armed forces in the entire region, as proved countless times in warfare. A nuclear arsenal of terrifying power, orbital weaponry of a destructive capability used only once in the greatest regional war Atlantian Oceania had yet seen. One could kill the lions, tigers and bears one wished to. Oh my.

Ordering a cruise missile strike on, in this case, a white lion's (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/white_lion.html) den would hardly be considered fair. Using an armoured cavalry division equally so. For this man, well-built and large of build with long silver hair flowing from his head, there were many ways to make it easier. A rifle from a thousand yards before the creature even knew of your existence was, still, too favourable for the man, though scores of people were injured across the world doing just that. A bow, perhaps, from fifty yards, would be better, but this man was not a skilled bowman.

Horses and swords were his domain, though nothing more than a religious hobby for most, he was trained by the finest instructors in the land, with techniques passed down and perfected over three thousand years and more. He had a sword at his side, a spear in his hand, and a horse between his thighs. This would be a fair fight.

Since the days of his earliest ancestors, men had walked this path. Male followers of the Fam’dai (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/fam_dai.html), prior to marrying their bride, had walked this path for scores of centuries. To prove their worth and mastery of the world around them, a white lion skin was to be delivered to his bride, a dowry of skill and strength. Quite a barbaric tradition, by today's standards, but tradition was tradition. His thick leather armour, studded with pieces of carbon fibre and kevlar - instead of copper and steel - would protect him only from a swipe or a scrape, not from the crushing jaws of a rampant Panthera leo krugeri. He had armour, weapons, training and surprise, and usually they would prove to be enough.

He was being watched, of course, by a number of spy drones and satellites, as well as a discreet unit of Venators, Starblaydia's elite Special Forces unit, who's presence was completely unknown to the man. Perfectly camouflaged, out of sight, up-wind and to all intents and purposes nothing more than ghosts on the wind. They were there for his protection, charged with guarding the Lord-Protector of Starblaydia, as well as to film the encounter from the ground, so that a suitably leaked video could prove to the world that Tiberius Starblayde personally dispatched the lion, and that the conspiracy theorists would be assuaged before they even opened their foul mouths.

Tiberius had even painted his armour, brilliant white hand-prints and finger- and palm-painted lines across the leather and harder protective material, just like the Daii of old before battle. He couldn't decide, however, if the two lines below his eyes made him look fierce or like a Gridiron player, either way it reduced the glare from the sun on his eyes. Of all the choices he could make, when stalking the large male lion in front of him, they boiled down to just two: Charge in, death-be-damned, with spear and sword, or hang back and counter-attack with the weapons when the lion came at him. Assuming it came at him, and didn't scamper off to find some friends and form a hunting party of their own. Then he would be in trouble. Three days he had been out in the wilds, not even knowing if Starblaydia had won their - probably pointless - final Group H match against the amalgamation not-quite players that made up the Yafalonia and Bazor 2 team or not.

He was sore and aching from all the riding he had been doing, but he could see his prey. Hunter, or hunted? Tiberius would soon know. A fine thing for the leader of a modern, civilised nation to be doing, he thought to himself. He hefted his spear into a throwing grip and kicked his heels into the horse's flanks, propelling them forward. Standing up in the stirrups to steady his throw, he aimed for the lion that had just noticed his approach. Tiberius threw with all his might, grabbing the hilt of his sword as quickly as he could, drawing it ready for action.

To his horror, the spear missed, embedding itself into the ground. The lion turned, saw the horse and rider, and leaped towards them.

Jacinta Sallad went to head the ball away from the goal but a Han striker was doing the same to score. Both heads clashed with the ball defecting off Jacinta into Jeruselem's goal with the keeper confused which way the ball was going to go. The Han player got up but Jacinta was still on the ground. Kate Sallad ran from the other side of the field screaming "Sis Sis Sis".

The team tried to wake Jacinta up but she was in fairy land. They had to stretcher off Jacinta Sallad who was also credited with the own goal to add insult to injury. Jacinta sat out the rest of the game in a dazed state talking rubbish with assistant coach Sister Marsha.

Kate Sallad had the determined look in ther eyes. Jacinta's selfness nature when it came to defending had it's problems. The Jeruselem keeper had a busy time with Jacinta going off as the replacement wasn't as settled into position. Young Shay was keep busy as the girls struggled to keep a lid on the Han offense.

A new Jeruselem came out in the 2nd half. Kara Kool was causing problems for the Han defenders attempting to break loose from their tight marking. With Kate Sallad firing in tricky balls from corners, the Han felt the pressure as the Princesses pushed for the equaliser.

Shaka Hislop latched onto Kate Sallad cross and equalised for Jeruselem with a nice clean strike. Jeruselem were back on equal terms but they weren't there to play for a draw. The Han saw the dangerous signs as the Princesses pushed for next goal. Coss Cohen provided it with crisp header to put Jeruselem ahead.

Kate Sallad wanted to make up for her sister's own goal and struck a curling long range strike with stunned the Han. She celebrated a spot of "Chicken Dancing" like Kate Dallas in the past. Pauline Boshoba put the nail in the coffin scoring the last goal, to finish the game 4-1 to Jeruselem.

The Han did their best but the Princesses showed who was the real football royalty on the day. People may regard the women of the team as whores but they could still play football.

Hippos Return To Knockouts!

That’s right readers, after falling just short last time around, Tynelia has for the third time in our history and third in four cups,advanced to the knockout stages of the World Cup. That’s right we’re in the final 16 thanks to our strong 5-2 win over the Pazhujeb Islands. That win for all intents and purposes made the result of the MIlchama/Wentland match pointless for our advancement prospects as only a crushing loss and Wentland win would have bounced the team out. As it turns out Milchama put in another crushing effort this time a 4-0 win to complete a perfect run for the #2 team in the world.

However fate wasn;t kind to the Hippos as now they once again find themselves facing another high ranked nemesis, this time the two time champion gnomes from Az-cz who are the second highest team left in our half of the draw. Like #4 Squornshelous , the 5th ranked gnomes are ranked above our Hippos and are certain to be out to avenge their failure to reach the knockouts last time in a controversial tiebreaker proceedings. To us they are a very familiar foe. A pair of losses in our first meeting sent Az-cz to their first ever World Cup proper at our expense, extending our drought one more Cup. In our first ever group meeting in the Cup proper, we actually managed to defeat them, thus making us the last team to defeat Az-cz in their first championship run. The following Cup we met again in the Cup group and the Hippos lost dropping us to 1-0-3 against them.

Now we must overcome our poor track record against Az-cz in the attempt to move on again. Both sides must be a bit discouraged at this pairing given some of the other matches taking place in the first stage of the knockouts. However in Coach Lee Andrews we believe we have the right man to find us that critical victory as Coach Andrews is now perfect in both his coaching efforts having driven the team to the knockouts. Only Coach Adams, who legally changed his name to Coach Jones afterwards, among all our other coaches managed to achieve that feat and it was an Andrews coached team that brought us to our only ever advancement beyond this point with a surprising semi-finals finish.

Can the Hippos and their Tynelian Towel waving fans take the next step again and make their way towards their first ever elusive finals appearance? We’ll all find out soon enough.

They Made Us Pick’em

That’s right, in a rash of wannabe-ism by our editors who are a bunch of <rest of the page is edited out and replaced with a big smiley face> …so here are our picks for this first round.

#19 Yafor 2 v #42 Dancougar- These are probably the two squads Az-cz and Tynelia were hoping to face right out of the gate. While Yafor 2 finished on a down note with a loss a final day Dancougar win shot them from worst in the group to a playoff berth with a high scoring match with Cafundeu. Expect their luck to run out here as Yafor 2 moves on.

#5 Az-cz v #7 Tynelia- one top ten team will be going home when the dust settles after this match. The only one between two top ten teams in the first round of the knockouts. Given our history and Tynelia’s failure to beat Az-cz when it counts expect Az-cz to keep their run against us going with a win here.

#16 Ad'ihan v #23 Bazalonia- Ad’ihan has the momentum here getting through the group stage without a loss while the Bazalopes stumbled in their final match dropping them from first to second in the group. In the playoffs you always have to go with the hot hand so we take Ad’ihan here.

#4 Squornshelous v #20 The Holy Empire- If Tynelia somehow gets past the gnomes we’d be playing the winner of this match. Squornshelous ran the table to win their group finishing off our old class of 27 rivals the Green Wombats by a convincing 6-1 score. In what appears to be a theme here, the Holy Empire after a strong start faltered and lost their final match dropping from first to second to the group winner Casari. And we stick with the hot hand and Squornshelous for the win.

#1 UCS SLANI v #14 Demot- somehow the number one team in the world managed to not end up in our half which is probably an oversight on someone’s part. A perfect record in their group won it rather easily while Demot had to rally for a final day win to move on. At least we actually have two teams that won their last matches meeting. In any case stick with #1 and UCS Slani to move on.

#2 Milchama v #11 Sel Appa – Thankfully we avoid Milchama again and now Sel Appa has to deal with them. Sel Appa however is expected to be fired up after their shocking non-qualification last Cup which dropped them from the top ten. Having seen Milchama up close we don’t think Sel Appa has the offensive firepower to keep up. Milchama moves on.

#9 Zwangzug v #3 Valanora – ok maybe we didn’t get the unluckiest draw of the knockouts as another pair of top ten teams face off. Despite a day two upset loss to Ad’ihan, Valanora bounced back with a solid win to hold onto the two spot. Zwangzug on the other hand rallied from a day 1 loss to actually take their group. Since we need an upset somewhere we’ll go with one here and give Zwangzug the nod to move on.

#12 Casari v #13 Jerusalem- in the most evenly matched , um, match of the knockouts long time powers Casari and Jerusalem face off with one going home earlier than planned. Casari leapfrogged over the Holy Empire to take the group with a final day head to head win. Despite a first day loss to Squonshelous, Jerusalem came back to destroy the Han and the Wombats by a combined 10-2. Can’t overlook that kind of attack so we’ll take Jerusalem in a mild upset.

<elsewhere>

“Did you see how I masterfully manipulated the draw to ensure that even if we get by our personal boogey-man team in Az-cz then we have to face the Squornshelous juggernaut? “ Agent Smith said proudly to Specialist Anderson.

“Yes I did but why not just toss them against Slani or Milchama again if you wanted to guarantee a loss?” Anderson replied.

“Ranking doesn’t matter Anderson, you’ve seen how the team does against those gnomes. Loss after loss except for a fluke win. Trust me this is in the bag.” Smith replied.

“I’m afraid the President doesn’t agree with your assessment.” Anderson said calmly.

“Of course he does. Its just a temporary setback, this moving along. How was I to know those Islanders didn’t have an email account in their entire country for mne to send them our strategies for the match against them.” Smith complained.

“No, a Smith should be aware of all the possibilities at all times. You see after 35 years as a Smith I have a pretty good idea what it takes to be one.” Anderson replied before turning to the door and raising his voice some. “Agent Smith, would you care to join us please?”

“What are you talking about? I’m the only Agent Smith there is you know that. There’s only one Smith.” Agent Smith declared as a similarly dark suited sunglasses wearing agent stepped into the room accompanied by two others dressed in the same manner.

“That is correct, there is only one Agent Smith. Assigned by the President himself. However Agent Jones. You are not that Agent.” Anderson said calmly as the two flunkies stepped towards the former Smith.

Stopping in mid-protest, the now Agent Jones’ face whitened as he realized that he had just been demoted and replaced by the newcomer.

“That is correct Specialist Anderson. Agent Jones has been replaced in his rank of Smith. I am now in charge of Tynelian Intelligence. Please leave now with Agents Black and Black, we are about to begin discussions of things above your rank. Thank you.” The new Agent Smith stated flatly.

“But, i…you. MY father will hear of this!” Agent Jones announced as he was half led, half dragged away.

“You may do so.” Agent Smith replied, “However with the election already completed, your father has no further leverage to use against the president to force him to allow nepotistism to put unfit people in positions of power. Perhaps in time you may learn enough to try for this rank again when I retire or am replaced, however I doubt that Agent Jones. Take him away.” He added to the ‘escorts’

After Agent Jones departed, Specialist Anderson turned to the new Smith. “I knew you were headed for the top when I saw your successful efforts at getting the team to the knockouts back when you were still an Adams rank agent. You were at the top of the list I showed the president once he committed to replacing that idiot. So what do you plan to do to clean up this mess?”

“Nothing.” Agent Smith said calmly.

“Nothing?” Anderson asked a bit surprised.

“Given the short time to work with there is no way I can field an effective enough plan to deal with the cultists before the cup is over. We just have to hope the team falls on its own. I can begin my own operations once the debris from Agent Jones’ mishandling of the situation is cleared away.” Smith answered.

“Very well. Let’s just hope we don’t somehow win this thing.” Anderson said as the two fell silent at the sobering thought.

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.png

Dancougar Does The Job For Bostopia, Beats Cafúndéu!

Though Does It A Bit Too Well

Bostopians of all ages were today shell-shocked to find that they had been eliminated from the World Cup – on goal difference. It was the sixth goal the team conceded against UCS Slani that sent Bostopia crashing out of the cup, fortunately one to which no-one can take the blame. A shot that 30 yards out that curled through the air would only have been saved if Adder had been stood in the exact spot where the ball would have likely sailed through his arms.

After the match, Partland spoke to the media. “I've been here before, not getting to the next level because of goal difference – specifically one goal. Sunappolis got third place and promotion to the First Division by a goal. You'd think it would hurt less, having been through it before, but it hurts much much more. I don't want to discredit the Southenham United fans at all, they're a great bunch, but instead of a few hundred thousand people counting on you to deliver, this time there were billions, and not just those in Bostopia.”

The Football Association said they were pleased with Partland's performance, and have said they hope he will use the next four years to build on the squad and hopefully go one better next time.

In the meantime, when Partland was asked what his plans were for the remainder of the World Cup, he replied with a surprisingly answer. “The Oli-land Theme Park! I'm joking, sorry. No, honestly, what with the Cup of Harmony being in Starblaydia and Krytenia, myself and the team are going to watch Newmanistan play, and then go to the games in the knock out rounds. Showing support to other teams is important, though not as important as learning a few things off others.”

IT'S....

THE WORLD CUP SHOW

With Basil and Theo!

"Basil!"

"Theo!"

"What an exciting evening this is, Basil. For two weeks the Dreamed Realm has been completely cut off from all other realities, and with contact now finally re-established, we find ourselves topping our World Cup group after two matches, a draw or a win will send us through, and even a loss won't automatically eliminate us. There may be total chaos down at the portals to other realities, but in footballing terms, life is good."

"Chaos indeed reigns at SBIS HQ! Wouldn't want to sorting the portals today... So it's up to the football team to lower the stress by seeing us through safely to the second round. The only down note in this campaign, Theo, was that we had to eliminate the Archregimancy in the playoffs to reach this stage; ideally we would have wanted both teams to go through. But is a team really eliminated from the tournament if there's no one there to watch the match?"

"Yes."

"That was supposed to be a rhetorical question, Theo."

"Maybe, but it was also a stupid one; the Archregimancy ain't here, so self-evidently they were eliminated, regardless of how many - or few - people were watching the match."

"You can be a pedantic little so-and-so sometimes, you know."

"Thank you, Basil - I'll treasure that compliment. But let's return to tonight's match. The Empire versus Casari... Our all-stars versus a bunch of drunken gamblers. An easy win?"

"Absolutely not, Theo - these Casarans, whatever their eccentricities, can play. Still, with a draw good enough to send us through, don't expect too much in the way of a thriller. 1-1."

"I'll say 2-2 - but I agree. A draw's probably what we're looking at here."

45 minutes later....

"...one of the most magnificent halves of frosty football the World Cup has ever seen, Basil. The all-stars have been simply magnificent, with Hu-35, Ziiaq and Laborious Hawk completely dominating midfield, and Tkermec and Kucinich lethal down the wings. Luiso has scored two, and Belmowitz should have had a brace himself; they're shredding the Casarans. Only a magnificent performance by William in the Casaran goal has kept the score down to 2-0."

"The Imperial squad look unstoppable, Theo. This is frosty football the way it's supposed to be played. I can't see the Casarans getting back into this one. Forty five minutes gone, and it's all over. In fact, I'm going to open this wonderful bottle of Imperial cognac, invite a couple of buxom wenches into the studio for a second half threesome, and - in honour of our valiant but outmatched opponents - will drink and screw my way through the second half."

"Leaving me to?"

"Well, you can join in if you want to, but I suppose someone has to man the microphone. And I'm sure you'll do a fine job, Big T, you splendid chap. But if you'll forgive me, Zoe and Anastasia are waiting...."

45 minutes later

"So, Theo.... How much did we win by? Four? Five? Did Luiso get his hattrick?"

"No, Basil"

"Casarans played better the second half, did they? Stayed 2-0?"

"The Casarans certainly did play better, Basil."

"Salvaged a draw against the odds, did they? Imperial squad relaxed knowing that we were through?"

"No, Basil. While you were enjoying yourself, we lost. 4-2. Tzimisces disappeared at half-time, walking straight through a portal after muttering something about a pressing engagement with one of the non-Imperial citizens who were stuck in limbo between realities these past two weeks. Bokegalbaatar and Alex were then both sent off under highly controversial and dubious circumstances within five minutes of the re-start, and the Casarans scored four against our nine men."

"Oh."

"But the good news is that we're through anyway. Starblaydia did us a favour and won their match - what lovely people these Starblaydis are - so we're through despite the second half fiasco."

"Fantastic!"

"The bad news, Basil, is that we seem to be playing Sqournshelous in the second round."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed."

"Still, Theo... second round... one win away from equalling our best-ever placement.... anything can happen on the day... And we can put Fr. Justinian and Tina Realm on in place of the suspended pair - that's not a bad set of replacements."

"I know, Basil... but Sqournshelous of all teams... Ah well. Might as well accept what life throws at us..."

The Squornshelan Government Department of Savage Beatings and Public Executions steps in this week before knockout rounds to do the job that would ordinarily be fulfilled by the sports media, who have been mired in preperations for a series of rigorous exams, recently levied by government agencies concerned about the quality of media reporting in Squornshelous, (we're an authoritarian state, we can get away with stuff like that). While ordinarily the DSB&PE works only in cooperation with Law Enforcment and Military departments, we felt that it was appropriate, in this instance, to move into the realm of sports, if only for a little while.

The Squornshelan national team have been playing especially well, in our customary inconsistent style, having gone perfect in qualifying and exited in the second round last cup, we had a good qualifying run this time, and have swept our group, certainly looking pormising for the knockout rounds.

It is the latest of those group stage matches, against the team from Green Wombat that interests us in particular. A 6-1 scoreline certainly qualifies as a savage beating, and since this match put a definite end to Green Wombat's slim hopes of advancement, and was played in front of thousands and broadcast to millions, it isn't a huge stretch of the imagination to think of it as a public execution of sorts.

The Pschychoes siezed the initiative, jumping out to an early lead on two goals from Markku Sykko and never looked back, going 5-0 up by halftime. Both teams knew it was over at that point, Green Wombat needing some 8 goals against, what has been a particularly stingy Pschychoes defense just to have a chance at moving on, so neither pushed very hard in the second. All six subs were used to give young players valuable experience on the global stage, and in the case of Squornshelous to rest key players for later matches, and as a precaution against possible injury against frustrated opposing players.

Squornshelous advance at the top of the group with maximum points, and now face the Holy Empire in the second round, which, all things considered, appears to be a bit of a mismatch. The Imperials are coming off a bad showing in the second half of their match against Casari, and Squornshelous have seldom looked stronger. Even better, winning this match would give us a very real chance for a rematch of World Cup 38 final with Az-Cz. now there's an occasion for savage beatings if ever there was one.

They needed one point to go through.

One point, and they'd be in second place. Set to play Ad'ihan or whoever won group C. Of course, they could win. If the numbers fell the right way, maybe they could make up the three goals behind Bazalonia to win the group. Then they'd get to play...Northern Bettia? Rivalries were nice, but they were the higher-ranked at the moment. Valanora? No thanks.

The point-not the one they were after-was, a draw would do it. Strong defense, give the backup forwards some caps, and be ready to substitute if the time came. It didn't.

Once again, each forward scored-egalitarian? If that was what it took. Trent's was first, in the sixth minute, after Mitchell's pass intended for Δανιηλίδου went to Brendan instead. He flicked it forward to the center-forward, who sent Logambina the wrong way. One-nothing.

The goal, Mcgimpy reflected, had not done a single thing in terms of Zwangzug's progress into the knockouts-or potential lack thereof. Only in connection with the results overall did it matter.

And then Felsenfeld-the tournament would be the unassuming striker's last. After winning the LIDYT championship for Yafor 2, he was ready to go out on top. Fellow Chelmar midfielder Terwilliger, for his part, was too inconsistent to hold onto his spot in the national team's starting eleven. They might not have been as skilled as the impressive collection of defensive midfielders, but left-wingers weren't hard to find in Zwangzug.

But both of the erratic players were having good days. Back and forth they passed, slowly, cautiously-then Felsenfeld dropped a couple steps back and unleashed a shot that sliced into the goal.

The goals poured in in The Augustus Palace, and the tables sorted themselves out. A 2-0 victory, combined with Bettia's 5-3 win, would have created a tie for the group lead on goal difference as well as points. A tie to be broken on Bazalonia's head-to-head victory?

He'd never find out. Rohit hadn't quite lived up to Mcgimpy's expectations, but maybe he just needed time to find his niche. Just like in qualifiers, it took him a long time to fit in in the 3-5-3. But eventually, he headed the ball in for the third goal.

And Zwangzug had won the group. Perhaps in retrospect they'd wish they'd come second, but until the knockouts, victory was theirs.

The death of defense?
By Dontu Truistme

Yes, folks, it's that time again - where I come on the pages of what would be a wonderful sports section were I not there, simply to rant about our sports. Even though there's a real sports cup going on (I'm talking about "gridiron", smarts), I'm going to come out and do a bit of focusing on our national football/soccer team. Well, that's not really accurate, no. I'm not focusing on our national football/soccer team. In fact, what I'm doing is focusing on the sport of football/soccer in general. I'm going to do a bit of analysis on World Cup 40 (Starblaydia and Krytenia). In general. Analysis. Don't laugh. I'm telling you, folks, don't laugh. You better not be laughing.

Anyway, I guess it would be about time to jump into my rambling diatribe regarding football/soccer, I'm going to have a little disclaimer; I was a bit...hammered...last night. I'm not a Jakallan. I'm a bloody successful columnist. Yes, I can afford copious amounts of liquor and I quite enjoy it. So whatever I say about a sport that I love (and, believe me, I quite love it. Especially when I'm with a few fans from Rennidan. Or even the Rennidan national team. They're so...nice. And enjoying. And are good fun to be in a bar with.), I may not be entirely coherent. Or coherent at all. You know what? I'll just admit it. I'm spouting off absolute rubbish here. And you know what? I like it (my editor might not, though)! So go boycott this sports section if you want to be such a prude. Bah, you'll probably do it anyway, to be honest.

And now I'll go to the point of this column (and yes, there is a point). Let's take a look at the teams in this World Cup, shall we? Especially, let's look at how they play. Okay, I'm going down the list...you doing the same? Follow me on this one? Doing it...doing it...doing it...see a pattern yet? You don't? Let me show you so that you are able to understand. Look at one group in particular; UCS Slani (pronounced "slar-nee", if you care), Cafundeu, Dancougar, and Bostopia. Three of these teams are crazily based around attacking - the two advancers, UCS Slarnee and Dancougar, did so based on the strength of their respective attacks (well, Slarnee less so, since Slarnee are the number one ranked team in the world. Don't know how that happened. Last time I checked, they had failed to qualify out of their Cup of Harmony group - in a Cup of Harmony that the Golden Wolves won, thank you very much). The others? Cafundeu are one of the most attacking teams in the world (as for how they didn't advance, don't ask me. I'm going with the "bribed referees" theory) and Bostopia are not exactly the most defensive team in the world. Attacking-based, in fact.

So have you got my point yet? You should have - and if you haven't, I don't want someone of your intellectual stature reading my column anyway. I'll spell it out for you - this world cup is full of attacking teams (good one, wasn't it? Printed word, I just have to type it out to spell it out!). In fact, if you bother to go up and down the rosters and styles of every team that qualified, you'll find that the Golden Wolves are the only team with a defensive mindset (and yes, no one else would bother doing that. I'm the only who would, and that's because I'm paid for it [actually, I lied. I just found that information on some website from some Zwangzug research agency. Maybe they're paid to do that.]). Yes. They're all bloody attacking teams. Wonderful, isn't it?

So that's it, pretty much. Yafor 2, the Golden Wolves, the wonderful chokers, are the only defensive team to qualify for the World Cup. Only one. No others. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. So what does that mean for the Golden Wolves, then? Every team that they face from here on out (assuming that they can win, of course, which is a pretty big assumption in and of itself, given their track record) will be attacking based (or, at least, neutral). Dancougar will be first up, and that means that Gerod Flamer has to do something that will neutralize the attack of the opposing team. In fact, he should get used to doing that. If anything, it looks like more and more teams are based around attacking - that same Zwangzug research agency recently concluded that this WC has more attacking teams than the last, and I think that this is a trend. So, if Gerod Flamer uses his head at all (which I am confident that he does), he'll get used to doing this.

For the Golden Wolves, on the other hand, it's best if they continue on the path that they seem to have chosen for themselves. They're one of a kind, a unique and intelligent team that use what other teams overlook to their advantages. If anything, they're already gaining somewhat of a reputation for defenders (Nilan Bahsir being a wonderful example - the kid has had a wonderful season in Cafundeu, and he's topped it by being selected to the all-league starting team) and that means the development of this kind of sport. Already, Yaforite coaches are at national teams in Kose & The Turkomans, Aleos, and The Macabees. Yaforite coaches coach clubs in Kura-Pelland. National team defenders play in Kura-Pelland, Valanora, Cafundeu, and elsewhere. So, no. Defense isn't dead. But that's thanks to us, no?

Dontu Truistme is a slightly inebriated newspaper and magazine columnist.

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group D: 0-1-1 (3)
MD1: HAN(24) 2-2 (46)GRW (@ ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD2: SQU(4) 4-2 (24)HAN (@ Brecklands, Linford)
MD3: JER(13) --- (24)HAN (@ Walton Gardens, Simpson)


THE END OF A SEASON

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/loss.jpg

It's back to the drawing boards, as the Han fell in miserable form, 4-1. Some fans have called for Ioshido's resignation, seeing as he failed to win a single match in the World Cup. Regardless, IFA officials have praised Ioshido for repeating Cha Beomgeun's feat of bringing the team into the World Cup, despite the first round exit. Better things are expected for the next Season, as now the team returns home in preparation for the Oriental Football Cup.

What? You expected a longer article?

CHUCK: A beautiful day for football, this afternoon - Group E takes the field, and here at Foundation Road, it's Dancougar and Cafundeu, for the third time in the tournament. Hello everyone, Chuck Secoll here, and what a match we have for you today. Demot and Yafor 2 have already punched their tickets in Group A, and it's anyone's guess who they'll play. This group is entirely wide open, anyone can finished second, anyone but Dancougar can finish first, so everything will be settled on the pitch today. And that's how we would have it, right Tom?

TOM: Tom Dresden, and you hit it right on the head, Chuck. Plenty of scenarios in play, but to give you an idea of how wild it is in Group E, even two-loss Dancougar can make it with a win and some help. Both Cafundeu and Dancougar will be wanting a Bostopia loss, but both have to take care of themselves. The loser of this match, for sure, has no hope of making it out of the first round.

CHUCK: Let's look at those starting lineups. First Cafundeu, led by Caio Meback. Augusto Cesar, a defender with the scoring touch; he got the the winner against Bostopia that helped weave all of today's storylines. In the midfield, Moreira and Marcelinho both have five goals in all international competitions. And up front, the indispensable Flecha, the heart and soul of this Cafundeu team, and now a domestic champion at Cafundo do Juta, and he's hungry to keep on winning. The Dancougar team, now, coached by Sel Appan Charles DuPont. Yuji Watanabe in goal, he's looking to redeem himself in this game against future teammates and rivals; last time he yielded six. In midfield, Morimoto and Whittaker lead the attack from either wing. And up front, young Shishio Jinguuji given the coveted role at center forward, as they hope to use to height. Anne Marie is on the sidelines, Anne?

ANNE: I spoke to several players before the game, Chuck, and they can really feel the energy of this place. And it's not just from the fans, who all know the implications of this game. Foundation Road was, as you know, home of the Starblaydi footballing legend Simeone di Brandini, who passed away during qualifiers. They tell me they have a good feeling that this pitch was made for a game like this, and they'll ride that energy all the way to the final whistle.

CHUCK: Thanks Anne; Dancougar has won and toss and have deferred. Cafundeu will be defending what is our left, so they'll be attacking towards their fans in the second half. The whistle blows, the cameras flash, and we are underway in Jhanna! Group E, Dancougar and Cafundeu, while across down, SLANI and Bostopia. All four playing for their World Cup lives...

..............................

TOM: And early forays down that left side have been showing promise.

CHUCK: Header won in midfield by Leyton. Whittaker will challenge for it but loses out to Da Silva, who lays it off for Alex. Alex looking for help and gives it to Augusto Cesar. Cesar now, has time, through ball for Marcelinho.

TOM: Cafundeu, starting to move the ball well, Black Wing defense just sitting off in a zone.

CHUCK: Marcelinho challenged by Leyton, gets the ball off to Silveira... Marcelinho off his feet, and the ref will stop play for the foul! Leyton's hands up, but there was contact, and it'll be a free kick for Cafundeu.

TOM: Marcelinho, coming forward, turns at the last moment to lay that ball off, and Leyton challenges from the side, but comes in late. Easy call for the ref.

CHUCK: Moreira lines up a free kick, about forty yards out. Jockeying in the box already. Moreira. Moreira sends it in high, it takes a deflection, AND GOAL! GOOOOOOAL, Cafundeu, ninth minute, and it's 1-0! And it's Flecha, who else?

TOM: It's a great ball in by Moreira, and Flecha outjumps Musashi Yamada to get to the ball, just directs it goalwards. Watanabe sees the danger too late, caught out of position, and the ball's in the top corner.

CHUCK: It's a header from Flecha to add to his impressive goal tally, and we're inside of ten minutes, but the Monopolists are on the board, 1-0!

..............................

CHUCK: Da Silva is into space, looking for an outlet. He lifts one, and Moreira is going to chase it down, Weatherford right on his heels. In the corner, Moreira, looks to play it across, takes a deflection off of Weatherford, it'll be out for a corner.

TOM: Good idea, but Da Silva hit it too far, Moreira didn't have much room to do anything with it. But great job by Weatherford to catch up to the play and shut down the passing lane.

CHUCK: It's a corner for Cafundeu, and Moreira will take it. Curled into the box, and deflected wide by Watanabe, it's Souza all the way up from the defense to chase it down, and he challenges Barclay. Has help in Da Silva. Drops it back, Da Silva curls it in. Flecha gets to it, and Watanabe pushes it wide, another corner!

TOM: Cafundeu really digging in, now, forcing the defense to step up its game.

CHUCK: Moreira hits it low to Marcelinho. Now at the top of the eighteen, passes back to Moreira. Weatherford challenges, but Moreira gets a cross up. Outswinger, past everyone, but Souza collects it and lays it off for Da Silva.

TOM: Not one Black Wing able to get a foot on the ball!

CHUCK: Da Silva, low shot, deflected, GOAL! GOOOOOOAL, Cafundeu, 2-0 in minute twenty one! That time it was Saulo who got to it, Watanabe was well on his way to stopping Da Silva's drive, but it took a deflection from Barclay on the way in, and Saulo just gives it a nudge towards the far post away from the 'keeper. And Cafundeu fans are getting into it now!

TOM: Great setup, and it's all ball control. The Wings too afraid of getting beat by the run playing very conservative defense, and that opens up passing lanes. Da Silva lines up a hard shot, and Saulo... how's that for concentration. Stays onside, follows the path of the ball, AND he gets puts it in the back of the net.

CHUCK: The scoreline from across town right now is SLANI 2, Bostopia 1, so as it stands, Cafundeu and SLANI are through, but plenty of football left to be played here in Jhanna...

..............................

CHUCK: Wings desperately need to counter, but it's Marcelinho with the ball... OH, great play by Leyton to take it away! Now the Wings come up, they've got numbers. Leyton plays it long for Morimoto, who has time. Chests it down and now challenges Marcelo Rocha. Now he pulls it back and hits it to Ikeda near the top of the box. Ikeda sends it in... headed wide by Alex, and it's a corner!

TOM: Couldn't chance that ball falling near the back post, Furuya was lurking around there. Heads up play by Alex to get it out of there.

CHUCK: It didn't look like a very dangerous ball, but it gives the Wings a corner. Whittaker lining it up. Jinguuji is the tallest Wing in the box. Whittaker. Outswinger. The ball is headed clear by Souza, but Boskov gathers it up and sends it right back. Jinguuji collects it at the top of the box, tries to turn. Alex is right there. He'll swing it over to Whittaker and the team regroups.

TOM: Showing some patience, wait for the opening.

CHUCK: Whittaker, tries to get past Souza on the touchline. Shoulder to shoulder, contact, and a whistle! Foul Souza! Souza wants to know what he did, the ref saying he impeded the run.

TOM: And he does throw a little shoulder here as they both go for the ball, I don't know about that call. It's a physical game down there, at least the card stays in his pocket.

CHUCK: Morimoto and Whittaker are both in the area, twenty five yards out, bad angle for a shot. Moises arranging the wall. Great opportunity for the Wings, starting to gain some of the momentum. Thirty fifth minute. Morimoto... and he punches it away from goal, Boskov is there, one time, OH, GOLAZO! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Boris Boskov ran up to meet it, Morimoto didn't bother going around the wall, he just put it at the top of the box for Boris Boskov, who sends a screamer past Moises, 2-1!

TOM: And the wall bites on the fake, and that gives Boskov the time and space to find this ball. Moises was defending the far post, Boskov goes near, and not enough time for him to cover the width of the goal. Perfect execution!

..............................

CHUCK: Morimoto with the tackle, gets to the ball, but Da Silva is right there to collect it. Through ball for Flecha, but nothing doing, intercepted by Yamada, who's starting to have an easier time spying on those kinds of passes. Yamada sends it long upfield, he's looking for Furuya. Furuya overruns the ball and it's sent out by Alex, throw in.

TOM: Good idea, but not sure Furuya was ready for it. Yamada trying to play the long ball, Furuya might've had a step on Alex, but not enough under the ball. Alex plays it safely out.

CHUCK: Leyton receives the throw in and passes back to Barclay. Barclay, Yamada. Yamada, brings it up, looks for help, finds Whittaker. Whittaker turns and has some space, forty yards out. Cross into the boxxxxx... wide of everyone, and towards the corner flag. Morimoto races to it, Rocha right behind him. Rocha and Morimoto, digging, fighting for the ball. Souza is coming over to help, and Morimoto will hit it off Souza and into touch. Not much he could do there. Morimoto to throw it in, looking for anyone. Finds Ikeda on the edge of the eighteen, guarded by Alex. Lays it off for Morimoto, who sprints free of Souza, there's a chip into the box. Moises is out for it, he gets it...

TOM: Furuya!

CHUCK: And Furuya gathers the rebound, and it's the equilizer! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Shiro Furuya! Dancougar! Minute forty one! And we're back at square one, the score is 2-2, Moises didn't get enough of it!

TOM: Made the right call to come off his line, but didn't go up with authority. Weak clearance, lands right at Furuya's feet, and he makes Moises pay. The extra attacker pays off, it's 2-2!

..............................

CHUCK: Half an hour left, it's still tied at two apiece, and word is that SLANI and Bostopia are currently tied at four across town, how about that for a wide open game. As it stands, Bostopia are over Cafundeu on goal differential, so the Monopolists need to attack. And Marcelinho will run it through the midfield, looking for his forwards. Morimoto comes over to challenge. Marcelinho stops and looks for help, passes back to Rocha. Rocha squares it to Alex. Alex. Alex, forward to Silveira. Whittaker closes him down, and Silveira goes down, it's a foul! Ref blows for a free kick!

TOM: Thirty five yards out, Moreira might take a crack from here, he already tried one at the beginning of the half that went wide.

CHUCK: Moreira lines it up. And the take. It's short, Da Silva will run it into space. Da Silva, Marcelinho, Marcelinho the shot, OH WHAT A GOAL! GOOOOOOOOOOAL, goal for Cafundeu, Marcelinho with a gorgeous ball over Watanabe to make it 3-2, and how critical is that?! A clutch shot by Marcelinho that may be the goal this game is remembered by!

TOM: Letting Dancougar set up their defense for the free kick, Cafundeu just play their regular attack. Da Silva spies Marcelinho in space and slips him the ball, and Marcelinho hits a perfect shot. Dips in just over Watanabe, top shelf, and it's 3-2 just like that.

CHUCK: And we were just saying they needed a shot in the arm, and now they've got on, minute sixty two. Panic time for the Black Wings.

..............................

CHUCK: Weatherford lays it off for Watanabe, who clears it long. Da Silva header, but Leyton collects on the chest, square ball for Whittaker . Whittaker will bring it up. Spies Ikeda breaking free, through ball, and Ikeda's got it... DOWN HE GOES! Rocha brings him down, did he get the ball? Ref's going into his pocket, and it'll be a yellow, so he joins Boskov and Barclay. Silly foul by Rocha, he had help coming from Alex.

TOM: And Ikeda is still down!

CHUCK: Hideo Ikeda reached straight for that left ankle, still down, and the trainers will come out to have a look at him. Let's see if we can see the replay. Marcelo Rocha comes into your picture and reaches for the ball, catches Ikeda in stride... I don't know if I see the injury.

TOM: His left foot drags on the pitch as he's coming down, rolls it right there. An awkward fall.

CHUCK: So they'll help Ikeda to his feet, he'll limp off, but it appears like his day is done. What do you do now, Tom, bring on your last attacker, Neil Wellesley, or a midfielder?

TOM: Wellesley is up and moving around on the sideline, the Wings will go with ten while he gets ready...

..............................

CHUCK: Morimoto working tirelessly down the side to beat Alex to the ball, cuts it back and looks for help. He's got Jinguuji and Wellesley running downfield. The Wings have the Monopolist goal under siege, have for the last five minutes or so, and here they come again. Morimoto curls it into the box and Moises will push it over the line for a corner.

TOM: Another corner, and Whittaker will take it on that far side.

CHUCK: The Dancougar fans in full voice, now, the black towels are in the air. Here's Whittaker to take it. Swings to the top of the box, Leyton takes a crack, BOUNCES off of Souza, and he goes down now in the eighteen. Barclay will play it out while they attend to Souza, looks like he got shaken up.

TOM: Took that shot off his hip, just a stinger, he'll be up and about after a little rest.

CHUCK: So, things are getting interesting across town, SLANI now lead 5-4 with about ten minutes left to play, Cafundeu lead here 3-2. As it stands now, SLANI and Cafundeu are in. As Souza gets up and jogs it off, Da Silva will take the throw in and hoof it back to Watanabe to restart things. Great chance for the Wings, gone. Leyton has the ball in the midfield, touches it off to Boskov. Boskov looking for help, pushes it wide to Whittaker. Whittaker, burst of speed to get past Alex, he's got room to cross. Whittaker into the box, far post, WELLESLEY!!!!! IT'S THE EQUILIZER! FLAG IS DOWN! Neil Wellesley has scored the goal that gives Dancougar life!

TOM: Unbelievable, length of the field, they catch Cafundeu asleep at the back. Jinguuji flicks it off his back heel and Wellesley had slipped past his man to meet it at the back post, and a simple tap in, he timed that run beautifully! And it's 3-3!

CHUCK: And an update from the other Group E match, SLANI have just made it six, a thirty-yard screamer that beat Adder, so things are falling into place now! As it stands, it's still SLANI and Cafundeu, but it could be Dancougar! The fans are bouncing now, and the nervous silence on the Cafundeu end tells me something is wrong. The momentum is shifting, here in minute seventy eight, it's all tied at three!

..............................

TOM: He was open at the top of the box last time, if Moreira directs that shot a bit more to the right, it's a goal for Cafundeu.

CHUCK: Corner kick for the Monopolists. Swung in, punched out by Watanabe. Da Silva gets to it, DISPOSSESSED by Whittaker, and he's got space for the counterattack! Whittaker runs it up, Souza and Alex are back, Rocha scrambling. Jinguuji and Furuya are up with him, long lifted ball to Furuya. ONSIDE, BEHIND HIS MAN! MOISES AT THE TOP OF THE EIGHTEEN, AND FURUYAAAAAAAAAAAAA.... STUNNER!!! Unbelievable! Shiro Furuya has put them ahead! The flag is down! The flag is down! He got behind Alex and controlled the long pass, volleyed it over Moises, and the Wings lead 4-3! First lead of the game! Minute eighty six!

TOM: Incredible pass from Whittaker right before Rocha got to him, Furuya makes the run to get past his man, and volleys it with one touch. Moises was stranded, nothing he could do about it, and he watches it roll into the back of the net. And just like that, the Wings may have stolen this one away.

CHUCK: There would have to be three or four minutes of stoppage time, you think, but with that goal, Dancougar are in! If they hold on, they're through to the next round!

..............................

CHUCK: Not long left, now, this is surely the last chance for Cafundeu. We're well into the fourth minute of stoppage time, and Marcelinho has a corner. Wings are jamming the box, even Jinguuji is in there for the header. Marcelinho lifts it up, it's curling in, they go up, whistle... FOUL ON FLECHA! Too physical in the air with Yamada, doesn't win the battle this time, and it's a free kick for Dancougar with seconds left. Surely that's it!

TOM: And the Dancougar fans are in full voice, they know what this means for the team. SLANI, Bostopia is final, 6-4!

CHUCK: Watanabe boots it long, and the ref BLOWS FOR FULL TIME! IT'S OVER! Dancougar advances to the second round! Unbelievable! 4-3 is your final, and for the second time in World Cup 40, the Wings shock the eighth-ranked Monopolists!

TOM: And they never gave up, they threw caution to the wind and played what was essentially a knockout game. They took advantage of what was given to them, they got help, and they're in the last sixteen!

CHUCK: Anne Marie is somewhere down there, if she can find anyone who isn't celebrating, we might have an interview or two! Anne, are you down there?...

Luke Evans: You're listening to Radio Ad'ihan International's World Cup 40 special coverage. I'm former Ad'ihani manager Luke Evans, and I'm pleased to say that for the next thirty minutes, three guests with me in our makeshift studio here in Krytenia today will treat you to top-class punditry and comedy, radio-style. Based on the Dancougaran TV show Around the Horn, this is a World Cup 40 special Warring Words.*

<theme>

Evans: Yes, that's right, this is the first episode of RAI's World Cup 40 special Warring Words. In fact, we're only signed up for this one show, depending on how far we make it in the competition — you can definitely expect more episodes if we make it further. I'll now introduce today's panel. Normally this game is played with four pundits; we only have three guests today as I'll be doubling as a pundit as well as host.

First up, long-time Ad'ihani football broadcaster, Radio Ad'ihan International chief football correspondent and United Islands Daily blogger, Davey Thomson.

Thomson: It's great to be here and I'm looking forward to some great punditry today.

Evans: Yeah, yeah, we all know what you can do. <laughter> Sitting next to him on his left, comedian and politician, and long-time sports supporter, he recently - in fact just - dropped out of the Ad'ihani presidential race and he's already flown here to Krytenia to watch the action! It's a pleasure to say we have Senator Stephen Jones with us in the studio today.

Jones: It's a pleasure to be here.

Evans: You've just dropped out of the presidential race, Senator.

Jones: Yes, if only so I could drop campaigning and fly out here to watch the team! <goading from Thomson and Evans> Seriously, though, I'm very proud to be Ad'ihani and really wanted to show my support for the lads.

Evans: Of course, there's me. <"Wahey"s from the other three panellists>

Jones: Why're you part of this panel? Who's going to be adjudicating your answers?

Thomson: It's a fix! A fix, I say!

Evans: Oh, shush. <laughter> And last but not least, over here on my right and sitting opposite Senator Jones, is the chief sports editor at SportSat, the main cable sports channel in Ad'ihan, and unfortunately a fan of poor old Altsend <wa-hey!>, please welcome Mr James Bristow.

Bristow: At least Altsend treat me and their fans with respect, unlike you! <-1>

Evans: Oh, that's a point off now. Now, let's go through the rules, basically I'll propose a statement or a topic of discussion relating to the World Cup and you give me your wittiest answers. You score points for wittiness — one point when you hear the cash register kerching, two when you hear the arrow hitting a target, and three when you hear "Hallelujah". You lose points — as James has already done — for silly rants and what-not. My answers will be judged by all three of you.

Let's start with question one. Dave Hollow's team selection against Bazalonia. What or how should he set out his team? The 2-1 result against Valanora saw a totally changed defence; the 2-1 win against Northern Bettia saw him revert to the same defence that drew 4-4 against Dance 2 Revolution. So what is best for this side? We'll start with Senator Jones.

Jones: Well, obviously, Hollow should stick to the tried-and-tested. The question, of course, is WHAT exactly tried-and-tested is. <Kerching!> Both sets of lineups have been tried, and both sets of lineups have been tested. Does that not make them both tried-and-tested? <Kerching!> The problem appears to be the defence, as he's not touched the midfield and attack at all since the qualifiers. <Kerching!> Francis Yang and Julian D'Abbo up front is a definite certainty <Kerching!> but at the back I think he needs experience for this match, which will mean using the same formation he used against Northern Bettia and Dance 2 Revolution. <Kerching!> Only without Ben Ropes in goal. <Arrow>

Bristow: But Ropes has shown that he has the experience <-1>, hasn't he? He was named vice-captain <kerching!> for a reason.

Evans: All right, James, that's enough, you'll get your turn later.

Bristow: Oh come on!

Evans: Any more and I'll dock more points. Solid start there Senator. All right, James, now you can go ahead.

Bristow: You might as well have let me finish! Now, call this nepotism but I think Hollow should start my cousin, John Bristow. <-1>

Evans: Now, now, we can't encourage nepotism.

Bristow: Like you should be talking, the man who called Philip Brennan-Evans up to the national team! <Arrow>

Evans: I've always said that had nothing to do with my relation to him! He's proven his worth. Carry on.

Bristow: As I was saying before I was interrupted... John Bristow should start. <Kerching!> He has shown in the Valanora match, despite his early mistake that allowed the Valanora goal--

Thomson: Well then doesn't that make your point just wrong? <Kerching!>

Bristow: He has shown that he recovers well from mistakes! <Arrow> It also shows that he can't work well with Martin Kawn, <kerching!> which means Ben Ropes should start in goal.

Evans: Well, I think that Hollow's got to choose his own team. Whatever we say we do so as pundits but as manager of the team Hollow will have a feel for what's going on and how the players feel. If I were still in charge--

Bristow: You're not, for a reason! <Kerching!>

Evans: I'd keep faith in Ben Ropes at the back, <kerching! from Bristow> but go with the same back three that beat Valanora <kerching! from Thomson>. No-brainer up front, of course.

What? Only two points? Are you guys ganging up on me or something? <stifled laughter can be heard in the background>

Jones: Doesn't help that the first part of your answer was so boring! <Kerching!>

ANYway... Davey Thomson?

Thomson: Dave Hollow's got to read the comments at the Islands Daily World Cup 40 blog! <Kerching!> They — Chris in Pilminster, if you're listening, I mean you <kerching!> — give great advice at times regarding his team selection and he'd do well to follow them. <Kerching!>

Evans: Short and sweet, then. Let's check the scores at the end of Round 1! The three of you have obviously discussed something amongst yourselves <stifled laughter> — I'm last on two points, just two behind Davey, who has four. Also two points ahead of me on four points — despite starting on minus one and facing three penalisations — is James Bristow, but in the lead, with eight points, is Senator Steve Jones!

<Link music>

Evans: Question two. A quick one. Following the Bostopian manager's suggestion that he'd like to open an Oli-land theme park, what's the weirdest job outside of football you could imagine a current top-flight Ad'ihani club manager or international manager doing? We'll start with Davey.

Thomson: A quick one, right? How about... Devida Cal, the Valanoran in charge at Dalinn Wanderers, running a circus? <laughter> <Arrow> Oh wait, he already does that with Dalinn. <even more laughter> <Hallelujah!> Seriously though, it seems Dalinn have gone backward <kerching!> since he took over — saved them from relegation the first year <kerching!> but in his second season this year, although they finished higher in the table, they scored less points! <kerching!>

Evans: Very good, very very good. Senator?

Jones: Dave Hollow running a medical practice (OOC: reference to my WC39 RP line where Hollow's health was in doubt; he hid facts about it from the AFF) <kerching!>, uh, Jayden Thomas of Protectorate Utd as Harry Houdini! <laughter> <kerching!> I mean, seriously, is this guy a magician? Somehow takes his team two seasons in a row on a see-saw ride, at times slipping to third <kerching!> only to find some sort of magic to see his team win the title both seasons by ridiculously small margins. <kerching!>

Evans: James, it's your turn now. <Laughter>

Bristow: I know this is my own hometown club and my beloved Altsend, but Charles Richardson as a gardener! Why, you ask? So that he's out of the manager's job at Altsend! <racuous laughter> <Hallelujah!> It's ridiculous, it is. <Kerching!>

Evans: Bonus point there for keeping it short, unlike both Steve and Davey. And my answer... well. Parker Law, manager of Vephrall, as chief operations officer at 1093 Theme Parks in Septentrionia. <Hallelujah! from Jones> In fact, why not? That actually seems quite plausible! <-1 from Bristow>

Evans: Hey!

Bristow: You said weirdest job! If it's plausible...

Evans: Even if it's plausible it doesn't mean it's not weird! <kerching!>

<link music>

Evans: Anyway. At the end of round two, let's look at the scores. I'm still, somehow, rock bottom, with six points, two off James Bristow, but in the lead, we have a tie, both Stephen Jones and Davey Thomson on twelve points!

[Much later in the show...]

<closing theme>

Evans: What a great show today, my thanks to all three of my guests. It's time now to announce the final scores and the two finalists to Defend the Indefensible! Unfortunately I didn't make it to the final, and ended with eighteen points. Four ahead on twenty-two, James Bristow, but our two finalists, both on thirty-one points, Stephen Jones and Davey Thomson!

All right, lads, time to Defend the Indefencible. Twenty seconds to defend what I say no matter what, otherwise you lose. Davey, do you want to go first or second?

Thomson: I'll go first.

Evans: All right then, twenty seconds to defend this. 'Dave Hollow is such a joke it's a wonder he's even national manager. That job should obviously be mine.' And go!

Thomson: What do you mean Hollow's a good manager? Obviously you've not been following much recently! He's a joke, a right joke, who can't manage juggling between chips and beer let alone manage a national team! It's clear that I, with all my experience in covering Ad'ihani football, should be manager.

Evans: Ooh, strong showing. Senator Jones, your proposition is "I should be President of Ad'ihan and as President I declare all football banned in Ad'ihan."

Jones: Wow, that's a tough one. Of course I should be President, I ran for a reason! My opponent, Mr Randall, was nowhere as good as me and I'm sure I'd have beaten my other rivals in the final. As President I'd obviously have to declare football banned, we don't want people kicking walls in disgust at losing league title deciders (OOC: HA!) now do we?!

<closing theme again>

Evans: Wow, what a close encounter, but we have a winner! My thanks once again to all our panellists, James Bristow, Davey Thomson, and today's winner of Warring Words, Senator Stephen Jones! We'll hopefully see you after the second round should we win against Bazalonia — keep your hopes up and thanks for listening!

(*OOC: It's based off BBC Radio Five Live's Fighting Talk — in itself based off the real-life Around the Horn. The name's basically "Fighting Talk", only euphemistically so...)

How Long Until Midnight?

Make a liar out of me, Charles DuPont. Make a liar out of me Shiro Furuya, Yuji Watanabe, and Akira Morimoto. After all of my ranting and raving about your team's faults and hopeless pursuit of glory, you went and became the only team outside of the top 25 to make it into the World Cup's knockout round. Just pause for a moment and realize what an achievement this is for a nation making only its second international appearance. Established competitors have waited decades for this moment, and others still are.

There are certainly conspiracy theorists and just plain skeptics who will point out the breaks the Wings have gotten throughout their run, and there is some merit to those claims. To make it to the World Cup, the Wings were placed in a playoff draw with comparably-ranked KaMaRi, while other much-fancied teams were eliminated in harsher ties. But rather than squeak past in a battle of the lowlifes, the Wings racked up an impressive 6-1 aggregate win. Then, last night, the Wings made up three points and two goals of differential after SLANI pulled clear of Bostopia 6-4 and they finished Cafundeu 4-3 on a late-game winner by Shiro Furuya. And while they did get help, the Wings were stuck with the harder job - beat Cafundeu for a second time this year - and delivered.

As they did in the qualifying-round opener, the eighth-ranked Monopolists started strong but failed to finish the job. The incessant runs forward by Dancougar's youthful starting eleven eventually led to the equilizer and winner. Make no mistake, the team abandoned all reason in favor of a simple brute force approach - just score goals. It was like that for all four teams in Group E, none of whom were really safe unless they took care of business. Even Capitalizt SLANI could've been knocked out of the games went the right - or wrong - way. Two games, seventeen goals, and no time for either side to take a rest. It was nonstop action from the first whistle, and I challenge you to find someone who would have it any other way.

Well, that challenge is ill-timed, since it was answered a few days ago. Cries of "the defense is dead" have started to echo in circles around the World Cup, and one look at Group E seems to support that theory. Furthermore, only a single team that specializes in defensive tactics - Yafor 2, Dancougar's next opponent - advanced out of the first round. Yet plenty of teams, despite their focus on the attack, are playing fine defensively. Milchama and Zwangzug join Yafor 2 in giving up under a goal per game, and five teams have ceded a respectable four over their three games. And Dancougar, despite needing a four goal outburst, can almost counter that argument by advancing out of high-scoring Group E with its best defense and worst offense, statistically speaking.

But while the Dancougar offense has stepped up and provided goals when they were needed the most, Yafor 2 presents an interesting challenge. Having survived the knockout phase, they consider themselves crusaders of the defensive style and will want to make a big impact on the tournament. They'll look to make a strong statement against the upstart Black Wings, who are sticking with their new gung-ho tactics despite losing experienced forward Hideo Ikeda to an ankle injury. Neil Wellesley will see his first real playing time, and against the solid defense of Yafor 2, the Black Wings are banking on him to step up and help the offense to once again find the seams and swing momentum in their favor. But Yafor 2 will not offer as many openings as attack-minded Cafundeu, which will test their patience as well as their skills.

Is it the right move? Now that the team has cleared the first hurdle, is it wise to play to recklessly? Dancougar has a chance to show the world its burgeoning ability, although one could claim that they've already done that by making it this far. Nevertheless, DuPont is sticking to his assertion that the team's radical change is for the best in this short term. If it means he can score five, he'll gladly give up four. Under his control, Sel Appa were not sluggish on offense, and maybe now he sees an opportunity to start nursing a stronger offense in Dancougar, starting with this team. It has proven itself resilient, but can it answer its critics?

Jericho Leyton, perhaps, summed it up best after the match with Cafundeu. "We're not even supposed to be here," he said, "but that just makes us more dangerous. We'll do something crazy if it gets us ahead. We got this far by the skin of our teeth, and we'll ride that momentum as far as it'll carry us. No use slowing down." And nothing could be crazier than playing all three healthy forwards at once, risking another injury in a continuing bid for survival. Perhaps the best way to crack a tough defense is to pelt it until it breaks, and with ninety minutes to work with, maybe it's not midnight for this Cinderella just yet.

Jay Adonis is a columnist for the Lakeport Times, and appears frequently on DSPN's Around the Horn.

AC: “Welcome here to the Aeropag Tribune’s live coverage of the fortieth World Cup. I’m Adrian Chase; joining me in the commentary box tonight is Mirko Sánchez. Two matches remain in Group E, and nothing is certain yet—Dancougar, in their first World Cup appearance, face long odds against a high-scoring Cafundéu side, while the Capitalizts look to continue their run of form against Bostopia. We’ll have the latter match for you here in Jhanna when we return.”

—————

AC: “The referee signals the start of the match. Ninety minutes to reduce four teams to two. Oh, Brown gave that ball away far too cheaply…Gronfeld exchanges passes with Plečnik, he plays in the cross…Kanper has latched onto the ball there, he brings it past Hoŋ ʼIn-ju—it’s in! Çu Gwaŋ-yūŋ completely misjudges that shot, and Bostopia leads one–nil in the first minute; Kanper the scorer.”

MS: “A beautiful ball by Gronfeld to find Kanper, and the winger has great pace to get past the defense and bury the shot. The Capitalizts’ defense played it well, but it just wasn’t enough.”

—————

AC: “The Bostopian side has begun to concentrate heavily on preserving their lead, perhaps a bit prematurely…Ellis takes the ball to the edge of the box, but forced to backtrack…here’s Tillner…a rather optimistic attempt to find Luiso…Newkey with a terrible clearance! He won’t have time to dwell on that, as Tillner takes control of the ball, dispatches the cross into the area—deflected—Luiso with the header! Capitalizt SLANI is level! One–one here at the Recreational Ground. It could be another high-scoring evening if play continues in this manner.”

—————

AC: “The two minutes of stoppage time have expired, and that’ll be the end of the first half. Certainly not a half that the goalkeepers will look upon fondly, as the score going into the locker room is Capitalizt SLANI four, Bostopia three. It seems that it could have gone either way, as the Bostopian side has stepped up to be every bit the equals of the world champions.”

MS: “I’m surprised that Migelo Luiso hasn’t done anything special today. Sure, he’s got two goals, but both from clear mistakes. He hasn’t gotten any shots on goal other than that, and I think he’ll be looking to improve on that in the second half.”

AC: “I’d have to agree, and I don’t think the seven goals we’ve had so far will be enough to satisfy Alfreda Alesanka. But before they can score, they need to get the ball, and Bostopia’s had a slight advantage in possession, with fifty-three percent. Might Alesanka want to make a change at halftime to improve upon that?”

MS: “I don’t think they need to worry about possession. This team doesn’t waste chances; Milchama can be sure of that. And if there’s one person you’d bet on to get a hat-trick, it’s the big man at Dunboor, number one.”

—————

AC: “Still four–four at the Recreational Ground as we near the hour mark, and two–two across town at Foundation Road. The teams here are set to go through, but the Capitalizts will surely be displeased with a draw, their first since their penalty-kick heroics at the Überdome, and Bostopia can hardly count on Cafundéu to be denied victory. Plečnik’s forward run is thwarted by Alegro, who delivers the pass to Luiso…Luiso skips past Sadler…Luiso with room to run! What a run! He lines up the shot…oh, it’s gone in! Brian Adder couldn’t keep it away! Luiso has his hat-trick, and his seventh goal of the competition puts the Capitalizts ahead five–four with thirty-one minutes to play.”

MS: “Bostopia’s defending looked a bit shaky there, and Luiso saw right through it. Four different players should’ve scrambled that one away, and Luiso says, ‘You’ll let me through? Thank you very much, sir, and I’ll give my regards to Mr Adder.’ I wouldn’t be surprised if SLANI scores seven or eight tonight, the way they’re playing.”

—————

AC: “That’ll be a free kick to Capitalizt SLANI. A shout for simulation from the Bostopians, but the referee isn’t interested—in fact, it seems Kanper’s name will be taken down for dissent. Luiso now takes the kick…six–four! An absolutely brilliant strike by Migelo Luiso, from thirty meters! That erases any doubt of Capitalizt SLANI’s appearance in the knockout stage.”

MS: “Luiso’s having a bit of fun out there—heh, he’s holding up four fingers. He’s now scored that many goals thrice in his last four World Cup appearances, including the final in Columbia. As we look at the goal, you can see, there’s no chance for the keeper. That was always going into the back of the net.”

AC: “And we have word in from Foundation Road, Dancougar has equalized the match there at three–three. Cafundéu trails the Capitalizts in the second position as it stands, but one goal for Dancougar would put the newcomers through on goal difference, unless Bostopia can add to our scoreline here. It’s a far cry from the vast crowds in the UCS four years ago, but plenty of drama to be had here in Jhanna.”

Last Sixteen.

Octofinals.

Second Round.

Whatever you call it, here are some scores. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13654742&postcount=30)

The Bassabook Baritone
Dancougar! Dancougar! This is it!

The rest is silence

Zwangzug's national football team was eliminated from the fortieth World Cup after a 3-1 loss to Valanora. Despite being ranked third in the world, Valanora had only finished second in group C. Although Zwangzug had never played a united Commonwealth team, it lost twice against the Elves Security Forces team, direct predecessors of this one. Its first victory, however, did come against Turruth Gordur.

But such success was not to be. Valanora dominated from the opening kickoff, when Scott Soldarian took control. It took them only seventeen minutes to score: Megan Kucinich, playing deep in her own half, lost control of the ball to Laborious Hawk, who maneuvered forward, passing to Kiso Night. The skillful striker leaped high enough to place the ball where it needed to be, and Valanora led 1-0.

They would double that scoreline in the forty-first minute. Evan Terwilliger looked poor on the left wing all match, and misplayed a pass from Brendan Deguela. Cristi Kries wound up in possession, and deftly approached the Zwangzug goal from the outside, tapping the ball to Yan Kips, who scored.

With a comfortable lead at halftime, veteran manager Asanta Webber substituted in alliterative Rogers Zensan and Zetaback, with Hawk and Soldarian going to the bench. Doodlypants Mcgimpy also altered the midfield, as Claude Seu replaced Terwilliger.

After the half, Zwangzug looked like it could get back into the game. In the sixty-third minute, a momentarily unmarked Eddie Barnes seized the moment and raced forward, impressively setting up Peter Vanderpent who made it 2-1. The crowd in Corinth roared its approval: Zwangzug had, if nothing else, brought noise.

But Valanoran defender Mathias Nickel had some of his own. The captain brought the team under control, and in minute seventy-two, Ali Alidare passed to Night, who scored the final goal. Vanderpent had a decent shot later on, but Akihiko Yoshida made a textbook save to secure the win.

Valanora will next play Capitalizt SLANI, which won the most recent Cup and has not lost in more than a full tournament. The Capitalizts are the favorites on paper, and it doesn't seem like much can stop them. Perhaps random chance must be their undoing-an upset to a lower-ranked team seems believable. But such a team, underdogs anointed by fate, seem unlikely to be able to win the Cup themselves-their role would be spoilers, nothing more. If this theory holds, disappointment is likely either way for Valanora, and if SLANI can make the final, the Cup is theirs. Ultimately, of course, such predictions are meaningless, and all that can be done is watch as the games take their course.

And, of course, listen.

Inside the Marauder Hotel

Kiso Night grinned and smiled as he took his seat next to Laborious. The squad was once again into the quarterfinal stage of the World Cup, a stage at which they have reached in every tournament in which they have qualified for the World Cup Proper. It had been a great performance by the team and the two had both put in super individual efforts as well. It was a solid outing by the number three ranked squad in the World and there was reason to celebrate, hence the numerous pizza boxes and bottles of the local wine. However as the two stars of the squad were waiting for the rest of the team to arrive for the celebration, they decided to turn on the tele and see if there had been any news about their homeland.

... and moving on into international affairs, the nation of Elves Security Forces is still under the strange black cloud. Earlier in the week there was hope that the cloud was begining to dissapate, as a light was shining through it towards the island of Capri, which remains unaffected still. However, that hope was dashed as a group of sailors went venturing forth into the cloud and have not been heard or seen since. Scientists are at wits end to explain the origin or the make up of the cloud and are struggling to understand how something like this happens naturally. One can only hope that those affected are somehow alright and things will return to normal soon.

In World Cup action, Valanora defeated Zwangzug...

Laborious clicked off the tele and both men let out long depressed sighs. For Kiso, he was hoping that his parents, sister, and fiance were alright. Last he had heard from them was that his parents were about to go on vacation, his sister was heading off the the Valanari Academy, and his fiance was planning their wedding for after the tournament. Four months now had it been since this had all started and he was dead worried about them all. In his hearts of hearts, he did not know how Elune, the merciful goddess that she was, was allowing this plight to affect his homeland.

For Laborious, things were far less complicated. He was indeed worried about his family and friends inside the country, but that was only his grandfather who refused to move to Kareen along with the rest of the family. However, something was very wrong about this cloud. He knew very well that is was of some evil origin and that it was likely affecting those on the mainland, but something far worse was off he feared. He had heard stories about the drow of the undercity being able to create such clouds, but they were only as big as a small room. This he believed, was something of the working of Melliki, the goddess of Chaos. What that meant, he was unsure, but he was ready to win the tournament and get back home to find out. Turning towards his friend and teammate, he did his best to cheer him up and reassure him.

"Don't worry Kiso, you come from a strong lot. I don't know any families, bar the Raynors and Hatires, who are more recourceful and can do the most with what they have. Besides, Elune has blessed your house, how else would you explain your families prowess in footy. Your fiance is quite strong herself, so don't worry. Whatever this is, they'll be alright, you'll see."

"I hope you're right Laborious, I hope you are dearly. I guess all I can worry about now is making sure I, like the rest of us, do my best and try to capture this elusive title. Though with such events hanging over us, I'm surprised we've gotten as far as we have. Elune willing, our heads will be clear and luck shall be with us."

Laborious was about to respond, but the rest of the squad arrived to the hotel room, and the sturdy elf decided that it was conversation best suited for some other time...

CHUCK: Welcome to Krytenia; the Dancougar Black Wings switch hosts as they look to defy the odds once again... it's World Cup 40, Dancougar Black Wings against the Yafor 2 Golden Wolves in a second round eliminator. Hello, everyone, Chuck Secoll here, and can anyone question the heart of this Black Wing team now? After grinding out a 4-3 win against Cafundeu, they take the field tonight without top scorer Hideo Ikeda, and yet they remain in a 3-4-3. Neil Wellesley gets his first start in place of the injured forward. But they will have their hands full with the Golden Wolves, who bring one of the tournament's best defenses into play, only two goals given up during qualifying. They'll be looking to catch an opening in the Black Wing defense, eh Tom?

TOM: Indeed they will, Chuck, and Cafundeu really exposed the weakness of that left side, Weatherford is apt to give up a run. Solid defensive fundamentals to be sure, but he'll bite on the fake and still can't seem to manage his own energy reserves. Ran himself out of gas against Cafundeu, but might that work to their advantage, to bring on someone fresh like Carter or Hijikata in the second half...

..............................

CHUCK: Juhan and Boskov go up for it, Juhan wins the header for Cuoran. Cuoran will square it for Riegan to buy some time. Riegan. Riegan just controlling it in space and looks for Vanadrin making a run up the left side, but Morimoto will cut that out of the air, headed out for a throw.

TOM: And like we said at the top of the broadcast, Yafor 2 really testing that left side, they know Weatherford will make a mistake before Barclay or Yamada.

CHUCK: It makes you wonder, Tom, why DuPont has stuck with the young man for so long, as Vanadrin throws back to Sebard, when you have Stanley Carter on the bench as a more experienced back?

TOM: Well, Weatherford is pretty tough, he plays well off the ball, just needs to show a little more focus.

CHUCK: Maybe now, Weatherford going up against Nahanor on that left side. Nahanor controlling the ball, pushes it wide for the cross. Gets it up and into the box, punched out by Watanabe, VALDAAAAAAAAANNNNN.... GOAL! GOOOOOOOOOAL! Wolves strike first off the foot of Khadric Valdaan! Twenty eight minutes gone, and the breakthrough comes from the Wolves, 1-0!

TOM: Great outside shot, it was a poor clearance by Watanabe to just punch it out, but he misjudged the flight of the ball when he should've tried to catch that. Boskov was the closest man to it, five yards away, and Valdaan just pounces on it. Controls and shoots in one motion, twenty yards out at least, and it bends away from Watanabe who was still recovering from the first effort.

CHUCK: Almost half an hour gone, but the deadlock has been broken. Up to the Wings now to get something going, it's 1-0...

..............................

CHUCK: Wellesley looking for an opening, but finds none, forced to play it back to Whittaker. That back line is looking solid for the Wolves right now, and the midfield is harassing the Wings as well. Whittaker forced to send in the long cross. It'll go over everyone, Furuya will chase it down. Now he's working on Riegan. Cuoran coming over to the corner, now, and Furuya will play it across the face of goal, and headed clear by Accursas. Juhan brings it down, WHIPPED AWAY by Leyton! And Leyton has space, the long shot, riccochets off a defender, and it's JINGUUUUUUUJI! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLL!! Jinguuji, the equilizer, minute fifty one!

TOM: Great awareness by Jericho Leyton to challenge for that ball while Juhan is still establishing control, takes a crack from twenty five. It looks like it bounced off of Accursas around the penalty spot, and it comes down for Jinguuji to sweep it in!

CHUCK: Wolves wanting an offside, but back on the far side, Riegan was still in the corner where Furuya had hit it out, keeping him on. The official keeps the flag down, and it's 1-1. The Wings crack the Yafor 2 defense just after halftime! Valdaan will start us off again, and Tom, we're starting to see some of those halftime adjustments pay off.

TOM: Yeah, if you look at the replay again, you'll see that the Wings have five men stationed within twenty five yards of goal, all around the box. Furuya makes the deep run to draw the defenders over, and that coverage means that wherever the ball bounces, there's going to be a Black Wing to challenge for it.

CHUCK: You're right, it's hard to attack them head on, but positioning before the play makes it easier to handle. Whittaker intercepts the through ball for Valdaan...

..............................

CHUCK: Leyton... wins the high ball but loses it immediately to Juhan. Juhan looking to direct traffic, Vanadrin's making a run on the right... the through ball is behind him, and Morimoto will take possession. Good idea, but his mishit the ball, and the Black Wings return upfield. Yafor 2 midfield also retreating to stuff this attack. Morimoto will square it back to Boskov, who chips long for Wellesley on the right side. Wellesley controls it and faces Cuoran. Wellesley, cuts to the outside and fouled, down for the trip, it'll be a free kick!

TOM: Chuck, Cuoran has been superb tonight, but he has to know to recognize that cut. Squared up to defense the cross, and Wellesley sprints free, only thing he can do is stick the leg out. You can't stop moving on defense, or you can't react to that.

CHUCK: Wellesley gives the Wings a free kick thirty yards from goal, they'll probably look for Jinguuji in the box. Morimoto lining up over the ball. Three man wall for Yafor 2. Morimoto. High kick, outswinger, Whittaker one TIIIIIIIME.... OH WHAT A GOAL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLL!!!! 2-1!! You wanted to cringe when you saw him lining that up, but Whittaker makes no mistake, he hits it evenly and drives it hard into the net!

TOM: Such a difficult shot to make, but Whittaker charges in as soon as the kick is taken, from farther back in the midfield. He wasn't even in this play when it started, and Morimoto put a little too much on it. But Whittaker turns it into a goal, makes sure he doesn't get underneath it, Julie didn't know what direction to expect that ball to be coming from!

CHUCK: It's a lead, a slender lead, but it will do here in the sixty eighth minute, the Wings looking to make the quarterfinals, leading the Golden Wolves of Yafor 2, 2-1...

..............................

TOM: Watch that counter!

CHUCK: Nahanor charging hard against Weatherford, trying to run past him and set up the cross, no room, Weatherford stays with him shoulder to shoulder. He pulls back and looks for support, Juhan is there to take the pass. Juhan has been all over the field tonight, Tom.

TOM: Playing free-spirited football from the back of the midfield, he's really keeping this team in line and making sure they win the small battles.

CHUCK: Juhan will give to Sebard, who is marked by Yamada. Yamada pokes it free, but Sebard fights him off and passes it all the way back to Accursas. Accursas, with time. Brings it up, Boskov now comes in. Accursas passes up to Valdaan, who fights off Barclay, taps it square for Dariegan, forced to the top of the box by Yamada, OH, leaves it off for Sebard, Sebard is in behind WEATHERFOOOOOOORRRRRRD... GOOAL! Prince Sebard, stamps his name on this one! Brilliant run, and it's level, minute seventy five!

TOM: The combination play at the top of the box, quick passes, Dancougar defense just not ready for it. Dariegan has been harassed by that back three all right, and he finally gets something for all of his hard work. Back heel pass to Sebard, who bursts past Weatherford for an open run at goal, twelve yards out, Watanabe had no chance at all.

CHUCK: And we're back to level, 2-2, fifteen minutes to play...

..............................

CHUCK: Whistle blows, full time, and it's still level! We'll go into overtime here in Ellisham with the score Dancougar 2, Yafor 2, 2. For those of you tuning in to see Bazalonia against Ad'ihan, we'll have that game for you as soon as this one ends. We will keep you posted as that one develops, but we need a winner here, first! Overtime when we return!

..............................

TOM: Weatherford is exhausted, they'll have to sub him!

CHUCK: Not before Nahanor gets a shot at him, here he goes. Nahanor gets around him, launches a cross... and plucked out of the air by Watanabe, no mistake this time! And indeed, Saji Hijikata is warming up on the bench, they'll bring him in shortly for Weatherford, as Watabane clears...

..............................

CHUCK: Patrick Vistula, looking to provide the spark that Boskov couldn't here tonight. He's got the ball and looking for someone to pass to. Vistula will give it up for Whittaker, who pushes down the side.

TOM: Wellesley!

CHUCK: Slides a low through ball for Wellesley, who's got it, cross into the BOX, JINGUUUUUJIIIIII... NO, offside! The flag is up, wave that one off! And he almost did it again! Shishio Jinguuji can't believe it, but he was a step ahead of Accursas when that ball was played.

TOM: Wellesley had the right idea; Jinguuji needed to be a little more patient when he makes that break...

..............................

CHUCK: And thirty minutes gone... no winner! It goes to penalties! Dancougar unable to break through Yafor 2's defense a third time, and Yafor 2 unable to muster enough offense. And it comes down to this, Tom, Imon Julie versus Yuji Watanabe - soon to be teammates at Clube Imperial in Cafundeu, this fall.

TOM: I tell you what, this is going to be fun to watch - the master and the apprentice will duel for a quarterfinal spot here tonight.

CHUCK: And Yafor 2 probably wanted to avoid this situation, because Julie, we know, has trouble defending against penalties. But Watanabe has never been tested in a shootout, so perhaps that evens it out.

TOM: Trial by fire for both of them, and it's a game of Russian Roulette, do striker and goalkeeper think alike?

CHUCK: Dancougar's five will be Morimoto, Furuya, Whittaker, Leyton, and Jinguuji. Yafor 2 will roll out Sebard, Accursas, Valdaan, Dariegan, and the late sub Insfield, who seemed to come on specifically for the shootout.

TOM: It was looking very likely with neither team putting together any good attacks, I think they made the right call. We'll see if it pays off.

CHUCK: Morimoto will take it first. Morimoto, plays in Daehanjeiguk, Dancougar's dead ball ace. Julie awaits. Morimoto to take... and score! Hard and low to the right, Julie dove left.

TOM: Totally calm, just drives it with the top of the boot.

CHUCK: Prince Sebard, the captain, and maybe Yafor 2's best player ever. Leadership second to none, wisdom beyond his years. Can he set the tone for the Wolves? YES! Sebard drives it right, Watanabe goes left, and both teams make the first.

TOM: Sebard responds to Morimoto in kind with the kind of confident shot that comes with years of playing time.

CHUCK: Furuya on, now, he's started this and the previous match as part of Charles DuPont's bid to improve the offense. He's played superb attacking football in the short time he's been on display. Furuya will try to make it two... GOT IT! A drive shot past the outstretched arms of Imon Julie, who guessed left, but Furuya's shot hugs the inside of the post.

TOM: This time Julie gets a good read on the ball, but the shot was just too much to handle.

CHUCK: Accursas, a defender with a lead foot - let me tell you, he can drive it. Definitely at the head of Yafor 2's next generation of defenders. Rare talent, a defender with the ability to score goals. And there's another! Beats Watanabe, goes right, dive left, still knotted at two.

TOM: Herod Accursas had people second-guessing his selection, but everything he's done, and that shot, should quiet his doubters now.

CHUCK: Now it's Whittaker's turn, the midfielder who showed raw talent at the Turtle Cup and helped Rizzi College win a national title two years ago. No outstanding qualities, but a hard worker and a team player. Whittaker the run up, the shot... and the goal! Julie guesses wrong again, this time Whittaker goes right and he goes left, Dancougar maintain the pace.

TOM: No prizes for guessing the end result of this one, Whittaker hits a good ball, gets it off the ground and safely into the back of the net.

CHUCK: Three up, three down for the Wings. Khadric Valdaan tries to match it. He's got a goal tonight already. Excellent ball control and not known for his shooting, but he had a quite a golazo in the first half, maybe he's underrated? Lines up his shot, now, Watanabe awaits. Shot, SAVED IT!!!!! WATANABE PUNCHES IT CLEAR!!! Oh, what a save by Yuji Watanabe, dives to the right side and meets the ball head on!

TOM: Call it lucky, call it what you will, I call it a spectacular stop!! Valdaan leans into it and Watanabe dives that way, great concentration to get there, doesn't do anything fancy, just punches it away!!

CHUCK: It's a chance, now, for Dancougar to pull away, leading 3-2 with two shots remaining for both teams. Jericho Leyton, central midfielder who returns from Elves Security Forces. Not playing to great acclaim overseas, but he, more than anyone, directs this team on the field. He has great awareness, can score the odd goal, but can he do it here? Leyton... LEYTON MAKES IT FOUR! He drives it right down the middle as Julie watches it crash into the net behind him.

TOM: The black towels are waving now, the team is pumped, they can feel like things are going their way!

CHUCK: Golden Wolves need a goal to stay alive, and look to striker Vorin Dariegan. Very quite tonight aside from a pretty assist on the equilizer by Sebard. Young man is just starting to get reps for the national team, and has done well. Has to make the big shot here... Dariegan... OH, just sneaks it past! It's a goal! Watanabe almost got that one, too!

TOM: And it's the height on the shot that carries it in. Right side again, Watanabe had it, but Dariegan puts it in the top shelf. Watanabe reaches up for it, may have gotten a piece on the way in, but it's a goal.

CHUCK: Shishio Jinguuji can win it, though, if he converts here. Jinguuji has scored big goals in college, but this is a completely different situation now. He uses his height to score goals with the head, but a strong right foot on him, too, which he needs to use to full effect here. Imon Julie. Staredown. The ball on the spot. Jinguuji... JINGUUUUUJI!!!! It's over! Black Wings win!! Wings win in the shootout, they're headed to the quarterfinals!

TOM: Imon Julie was helpless again, dove right and Jinguuji drives it left, a powerful shot that was never going to miss. It's 5-3, and Insfield's shot won't matter! Dancougar's run continues!

Jeruselem Government News

No World Cup for Jeruselem but Jacinta Dallas finally gets a wedding

Casari may have bundled Jeruselem out of the World Cup 40 but it's not all bad news. It means the World Cup 40 team can attend a wedding. Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas will marry Flak Sho. Kate Dallas will be released from her temple prison for the day for the wedding. The bridesmaids will be Kate and Jacinta Sallad.

The big event will be held at Dazza Dallas Stadium where Jacinta's mother Dazza had her wedding. In spirit with the football theme, the World Cup 40 team will play the Tel Aviv Sharks team minus it's World Cup 40 players.

The proud mother, Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas, said
"It's about time. Flak Sho is a good man for my girl! I want my Jewish kids."

Jacinta's sister younger Marie Antoinette said
"I'm growing up. It will my turn next! I hope so anyway."

Flak Sho's mother said
"Jacinta isn't your average Jewish girl and she isn't legitimate either but I'm not going get in the way of my son marrying Jacinta. She's still a nice girl with strange issues but if she wants kids and to be a good mother. - I'm happy for them."

AFF URGENT PRESS COMMUNIQUÉ
For immediate release

Ad'ihan Football Federation part ways with manager

The Ad'ihan Football Federation (AFF) would like to announce today that it has parted ways with national men's team manager Dave Hollow. Hollow, 38, has been manager of the national team for two World Cups, guiding Ad'ihan to a quarter-final appearance in World Cup 39 and a second round appearance in World Cup 40.

The AFF stresses that Hollow's departure from the post of manager is by mutual consent. At a crisis meeting following the team's 2-2 draw and subsequent elimination on penalty kicks to Bazalonia, Hollow and interim AFF chairman Mr John Stence, with AFF Footballing Excellence Director Mr Luke Evans in attendance, agreed that Hollow had taken the team as far as he could.

Hollow expressed to Mr Stence that he did not feel he was the right man to further the Ad'ihani team's exploits; Mr Stence agreed with this view and offered Hollow contract termination on mutual understanding, which Hollow accepted.

No compensation will be paid to Hollow based on the agreement. Mr Evans, a former national team manager himself, will retake the helm as manager of Ad'ihan in a temporary capacity until such a time when a full-time replacement manager for Hollow is able to take over the duties of national manager. Mr Evans will remain in his position as Footballing Excellence Director, overseeing the youth development programme among other things.

Hollow's coaching staff have all decided to follow their manager and have all resigned their posts. The AFF would like to thank each and every single one of them for their contribution to the national team and the game.

Hollow has been offered a coaching job under Mr Evans in the Footballing Excellence Academy, although at this point the AFF has not been informed of his decision.

ANTHONY: Today, on SportsTalk, they match on. Three quarters gone, and for the survivors, the path to glory is clear. It's win or go home in Starblaydia and Krytenia, as we bring you the latest news and notes from World Cup 40. (Intro theme!) Welcome to SportsTalk, glad you could join us. I'm Anthony Nimitz, joined by Tony Travers and Hikaru Waya. Morale is high in Black Wing camp after a dramatic shootout victory against the Yafor 2 Golden Wolves. Yuji Watanabe's stop on Khadric Valdaan's attempt was the difference against the helpless Imon Julie, who let all five Dancougar takers hit from the spot. Cherry Sanders has more.

(Compiled report!)
RADIO CALL: They're chanting his name, now, here in Wanderers Park... Yu-Ji! Yu-Ji! Is that the save that wins it?

CHERRY: With no man or woman in Dancougar able to claim international experience, the FA last fall embarked on a quest to land a high-profile foreign coach. Charles DuPont, who built Sel Appa into a world football force, was their man. Expectations were a return to the Cup of Harmony and perhaps advancement to the second round. But many now say he's outdone even himself in guiding the Black Wings into the last eight of the World Cup. Dancougar looked finished after two first round losses to Bostopia and Capitalizt SLANI, but a change of tactics has now led to two straight wins.

JERICHO LEYTON: Coach doesn't see us as outsiders, really, just as footballers. He doesn't want us to sit back and go, "Well, we're not that good, so no use trying." He just asks us to go out there and work, just like we were any other team.

YUJI WATANABE: I think... he really believes that we have the ability to play at a high level and beat anybody. He really does.

CHERRY: No one can question their spirit after a must-win game against Cafundeu. Down 3-2 and without Hideo Ikeda, the Wings still found a way to win. Their offensive output over the past two games is triple that of the first two. And the team shows no signs of slowing down against Bazalonia.

SHIRO FURUYA: Nothing happens if you don't take chances. Nothing happens if you can't score goals. Coach knows we're capable of pulling this off, he expects us to. He expects us to go out and execute his game plan, and trust me, we want it as bad as he does.

CHERRY: Unwilling to back down, the Black Wings remain the lowest-seeded team in the tournament. But not all outlooks at positive. They retain their weakness on defense. Yuji Watanabe, despite his heroics, is still giving up two goals per game in World Cup play, and teams have had success attacking the speedy, yet underdeveloped Evan Weatherford. Fatigue will also be a factor. The Wings are starting to feel the ill effects of Charles DuPont's demanding gameplan, and it will only get worse if the Wings continue to keep pace with higher-ranked opposition. Additionally, by switching to the 3-4-3, the team is now without any reserve forwards - only four made the trip to Starblaydia, and the last, Hideo Ikeda, is nursing a sprained ankle.

BENJAMIN WHITTAKER: Yeah, we're tired... oh man, we get what, three or four days rest? I mean, sure it's enough, but we have to push it against some of these guys. But we can't use that as an excuse, you know. If we want to hang with these guys, we have to do what it takes. If they're better, they're better.

CHERRY: The Wings will push on in a quarterfinal match against Bazalonia, the only other survivor from outside the world top twenty. Reporting from Bromham, Krytenia - Cherry Sanders, DSPN.

(Back to the studio!)
ANTHONY: So guys, looking at Bazalonia, this is a team that was kind of in a funk, now they might have snapped out of it. Ad'ihan was getting the better of them for awhile in their knockout match, after losing 5-3 to Bettia at the end of group play. But they pulled it together to force penalties, where they won. 'Lopes now feel like they have some momentum, and a favorable draw in the Black Wings.

TONY: That's true, Anthony, and let's not forget that this is a team that has shown the ability to step it up at crucial times. In the qualifying playoffs against Kura-Pelland, they lost the opener at home 2-0. They had to make up a two goal deficit on the road - and they got six! They also put up six against Jasiyun, which is a pretty good team, so Bazalonia's offense has not been wanting of goals. Out of the starting three, they have two superb forwards in Ricky Yunn and Everrett Kang. And Yunn's the team captain from that position, which tells you a lot about his awareness and his ability to make an impact all over the field.

HIKARU: Let me draw attention to the Bazalonian defense, too, because I don't know if they get enough credit for what they do. Bazalonia has two women on the field, and they start in the back four. Arianna Georsophalous and Zieta Swift have what it takes to hang with the guys, but what makes them so dangerous is their desire to prove that they're even better. Georsophalous, in particular, hates to be looked down upon. She'll be going up against Wellesley, and you know he's trying to prove himself after speaking out about playing time earlier in the tournament. That should be a good matchup.

ANTHONY: Let's talk, also, about the Black Wing lineup. Cherry mentioned that the team is sticking with three forwards despite having no one else on the bench to fill one of those spots. Hideo Ikeda, of course, injured against Cafundeu; here's what he had to say on media day.

(Tape rolls!)
HIDEO IKEDA: I want to be out there with the guys, but this happens, you know; you always risk getting hurt when you go out on the field. Marcelo's a good guy, and I don't think he had any ill intent on the tackle there. He was just doing what he had to do, uh, to get the ball.

(Studio!)
ANTHONY: A clumsy challenge nevertheless, and they've gotten through one game without him. But can they make it through two, guys, and is it really okay to start all three forwards with no one in reserve in case someone gets tired or hurt?

HIKARU: Well, I don't think they're out of options, Just about any one of the guys in midfield could slide up, and they're a major part of the attack, anyway. The midfield is really this team's strength, so if they need to switch to five in the middle of the game, I don't see coach DuPont having a problem with that. The game is so fluid anymore, positions don't mean as much as they used to, I think. Sure, certain players will fill certain roles and maybe have more specialized skills, but to really succeed at this level, you need to be able to adapt and play anywhere, so I don't see this as a problem.

TONY: You are right, Hikaru, in that Morimoto and Whittaker could easily move up to the right or left forward spots. But I do worry about this team's depth. Looking at the bench, there's only really one guy I'd bring in as an attacking option, and that's Patrick Vistula. Ootawara maybe. If DuPont he has to dig too deep, then the team's probably in trouble. Is it a problem for this match? I don't think so. But if they move on and have to play an Az-cz or Squornshelous, then you start to wonder how much is left in the tank, and when does DuPont have to look at his reserves.

ANTHONY: They've made it through the tournament so far without needing too much help from the bench, and no doubt they'll want to keep it that way. But first thing's first, they have to beat Bazalonia in Bromham. Okay, that'll do it for now. When we return - one manager is down; see who else's job is on the line after World Cup 40 runs turn sour. This is Sportstalk on DSPN.

AC: “Two footballing powers from across Atlantian Oceania meet in Corinth. The second round tie sees a mismatch between two top-ten teams, if such a thing is possible. Capitalizt SLANI’s supporters expect nothing less than the World Cup title; Demot’s would be delighted to knock out the defending champions. A treacherous quarterfinal against Valanora or Zwangzug awaits the victor.

“Welcome, on this Aeropag Tribune broadcast, to the west of Starblaydia. I’m Adrian Chase; joining me here at the Bernando is Mirko Sánchez.”

—————

AC: “The Capitalizts really getting into a rhythm in these opening minutes…this is Mason on the attack…he delivers the cross…it’s a good one; it’s found the head of Luiso! Longswan pushes it away—Gwon ʼI-sam provides the finish! It’s one–nil to the Capitalizts!”

MS: “A brilliant cross by Mason to set this one up; the keeper sees the shot, but just can’t get a hold of it, he goes to ground, it comes right to the foot of Gwon ʼI-sam, and he nonchalantly taps it into the back of the net. SLANI takes the initiative six minutes in.”

AC: “Not a great deal of excitement among the supporters here; it’s as if they expected the goal. I suppose they have good reason to, given the way this team has performed over the last four years.”

—————

AC: “The opportunity for SLANI to extend their lead to four fizzles out rapidly…Longswan with the delivery upfield…Jonas has latched onto it…Hart…plays back to Quan…Quan with the return pass…Hart goes down inside the area! The referee has pointed to the spot, and Demot will receive an opportunity to pull a goal back before the interval.”

MS: “No question here—Gwaŋ Hyo-gyo makes a clumsy tackle, doesn’t get close to the ball, that’s a penalty.”

AC: “And, as we prepare for the spot kick, the referee has produced the yellow card for Gwaŋ Hyo-gyo. Insaki Roma will take it…he’s done it! The Capitalizts’ lead is reduced to three–one! The referee now blows his whistle for the end of the half. Gwon ʼI-sam providing the go-ahead goal, with Luiso extending the lead for the world champions twice before a late penalty kick for Demot—that’s the story of the first half. We’ll have a complete studio analysis of the first half after these messages.”

—————

AC: “Four–one to the Capitalizts at the hour mark, with the Dynamo seeming completely unable to cope with the pace of this fixture—their only goal coming from the spot. Ellis plays the diagonal ball into the path of Luiso…he’s run onto it…he’s outrun the last defender…a bit of a heavy touch there, and Longswan will come out to collect that—Luiso outruns him! He buries the ball in the back of the empty net, and it’s five–one for the blue and silver! Incredible pace displayed by the Dunboor striker!”

MS: “I think any keeper in the world would’ve come out for that; it was an exceptional sprint from Migelo Luiso that denied Longswan the ball. He wouldn’t be out of place on an athletics track, but on the football pitch, he’s got his fourth goal of the match and burst this second round tie wide open.”

AC: “Luiso looking a bit out of breath after that run…and it appears that Alfreda Alesanka will be making a substitution here. It’s ʼWaŋ Hwaŋ-an on for Migelo Luiso, who receives the adulation of the fans as he vacates the pitch.”

—————

AC: “It’s been rather quiet the last twenty minutes, with the Capitalizts seemingly satisified with the five–one result. We’re approaching the end of the three minutes of added time…Tillner ventures into the attacking third…Tillner bends in the cross…ʼWaŋ Hwaŋ-an gets on the end of it! Six–one! That should do it here in Corinth—the referee checks his watch. Capitalizt SLANI six, Demot one the final. Six seemingly the lucky number for this team, as they’ve scored as many goals in three of their last four matches. We’ll send you over to our studio panel momentarily, but from me, Adrian Chase, good night from Starblaydia.”

It was another busy at the Senneth, the upper house of Krytenia’s parliament. Vincent Bissix, newly-installed Vice-President, had taken to the floor in place of his superior, who was preparing for her wedding on the other side of the Bekk.

“Let me assure those here present,” he stated, “the President and the Nationalist Democrats are committed to the Krytenian people, and any talk of us selling our proud nation’s tradition down the river is simply Opposition scaremongering!”

Phillip Le Bihan, leader of the opposition Krytenia National Party, rose from his seat and defiantly thumped his folder down on the dispatch box in front of him.

“Really? Is that so?” Le Bihan smirked maliciously. “I submit to the members of the Senneth this documentation, signed by the President herself, and carelessly left in one of the House bars last night before she left!”

Bissix looked, stunned, at the paper in front of him.

“Mr Le Bihan, If this is a hoax, I swear I will drag you by your bollocks from here to Bettia.”

Tick...
Tick...
Tick...
Tick... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13660346&postcount=33)
BOOM! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13660346&postcount=32)

Dazza: Hey Archbishop! Ready for my little girl's wedding?
Archbishop: How come in a football stadium and not in a church?
Dazza: We're football crazy
Archbishop: I know, your wedding was in a football stadium too. The same one Jacinta wants to use - the one with your name in it.

Dazza: You're as old as me, you know this stuff already.
Archbishop: Anyway, she's Jewish ... shouldn't she be in a Synagogue? Flak is a Jewish boy.
Dazza: Oh that, I talked the good Chief Rabbi to come too. You know to keep the Jews happy.
Archbishop: You sure get around.

Dazza: That's why I'm the Bike.
Archbishop: You're not here for a chat are you?
Dazza: I'm here for confession.
Archbishop: How about we just give your credits for that.

Dazza: You have credits for confessions?
Archbishop: In your case, we can arrange it. Save the poor priest putting up with your antics in Qazox.
Dazza: How nice of you!
Archbishop: You're a bigger whore than your mother. Good thing your kids aren't as bad as you.

Dazza: So where do these credits come from?
Archbishop: I asked the Pope about that. Most people don't get it but in your case - you're special.
Dazza: So am I still going to hell?
Archbishop: Well, it's not for me to decide that but I'm sure hell thinks you'd make a good addition.

It was fun while it lasted :-)


[42] Dancougar 1 v 3 [23] Bazalonia
16 - Yunn (BAZ)
29 - Leyton (DAN)
59 - Yunn (BAZ)
73 - Prefect (BAZ)


Dancougar Black Wings : Record (All Competitions)

Friendlies - Pre-Qualification
[52] Dancougar 4 @ 0 [-] Vephrall U21
[52] Dancougar 1 v 1 [16] Casari

Qualifying - Group Two
[52] Dancougar 5 v 3 [8] Cafundeu
[52] Dancougar 1 @ 1 [160] Krasslor
[52] Dancougar 1 v 2 [17] Quakmybush
[52] Dancougar 2 @ 0 [173] Hopeful SC
[52] Dancougar 1 v 1 [73] Gweridijongya
[52] Dancougar 2 @ 6 [8] Cafundeu
[52] Dancougar 1 v 0 [160] Krasslor
[52] Dancougar 2 @ 3 [17] Quakmybush
[52] Dancougar 5 v 1 [173] Hopeful SC
[52] Dancougar 1 @ 1 [73] Gweridijongya

Qualifying Playoffs
[52] Dancougar 3 v 0 [53] KaMaRi
[52] Dancougar 3 @ 1 [53] KaMaRi

Friendlies - Post Qualification
[52] Dancougar 0 v 0 [27] Southern Northland

WORLD CUP 40 - First Round, Group E
[42] Dancougar 1 - 2 [21] Bostopia
[42] Dancougar 1 - 2 [1] Capitalizt SLANI
[42] Dancougar 4 - 3 [8] Cafundeu

WORLD CUP 40 - Knockout Round
[42] Dancougar 2 - 2 [19] Yafor 2 (DAN advances 5-3 on penalties.)
[42] Dancougar 1 - 3 [23] Bazalonia

Kingdom of Dancougar : Goalscorers (All Competitions)

8 - Hideo Ikeda (America, Cafundeu), Shishio Jinguuji (to Central United, Cafundeu)
5 - Benjamin Whittaker
4 - Boris Boskov (Manju, Daehanjeiguk), Shiro Furuya (to Central United, Cafundeu), Jericho Leyton (Everlin Snipers, Elves Security Forces), Akira Morimoto (Jonam, Daehanjeiguk)
1 - Kevin Underwood, Patrick Vistula, Evan Weatherford, Neil Wellesley

"Dancougar.... Who'd of thought we'd be meeting them in the Quarter Finals?"

Bazalonia, quite an interesting nation, lots of sporting fans of various sports (Damn that Bazalonian Rules) However when it comes to world cup, Bazalonia always flares out in the Round of 16, if they get there. That is what it has been for some time ever since the Bazalopes first qualified for the world cup, until now.

It had taken some time for the news to filter round that Bazalonia did infact beat Ad'ihan, in what was a thrilling penalty shoot out. It was this win that re-invigorated fan's enthusiasm in the sport, next up was Dancougar. The Giant-killer of this tournament the Bazalopes could not afford to be lax, so much was on the line. A chance to reach the semi-finals.

In the BFSA Headquarters...

"This is great... top 4.... This will improve our rankings for sure!" exclaimed a board member as he was casually chatting the the President of the BFSA, Andrew Coulter.

"Is that all you can think of, Rankings? The team did wonderfully. I'm sorry that our media hasn't really been behind them. I mean, there has basically been no support from them to the team. I'm quite frankly shocked and appalled."

"Yeah, anyway, so where are we up against?"

"Az-cz."

"Bah, well that ends the run there..."

"ooooh, Don't count our boys and girls out yet... I think that story with the mob links has done more for motivating our boys than anything in the past. They want to prove they deserve the spot and what better way than to beat Az-cz."

"Okay, yes, well we do have a chance... its just not a very good one... Anyway I better go..."

A single drow warrior peeped his head out from the entrance to the Undercities. It had been months since they had recieved a shipment of supplies from the light elves, and the Council of Nedarila had ordered a reconasiance mission be undertaken. Jysual Kenlyl and his two brothers were charged with this task. They were completely taken aback when the voyage from Nedarila to the entrance to their forsaken territory encountered no demons or lycans, the usual inhabitants and enemies of the drow who were banished to the Undercities. The dark elves were used to having to do battle with one of the two groups anytime they ventured out of the safety of their makeshift cities, which is why they usually traveled in groups of ten or more. Yet Jysual's trip was as quiet as could be, with only his brothers arguing being the thing that most annoyed the eldest brother about their mission.

"Why us? Why couldn't they choose the House Doa'tra to carry out their silly investigatory desires? What have we done to be burdened with such a trivial task?" the youngest of the brothers shouted.

Insisting on continuing the disagreement, the middle brother shouted back, "Well if you hadn't of offended the head council woman. It's your fault why we are stuck out here doing nothing, likely to find out that the weaklings have backed out of the agreement."

Tired of their bickering, Jysual put a quick end to it, "Silence both of you, lest I cut out your tounges and tell the Matron that you were too weak to fight off a single lycan."

Looking both directions once more, Jysual motioned for his brothers to come join him. Things were very erie, for the guards that usually guraded the dreaded entrance were nowhere to be seen. High above them, there was a dark cloud that refused to give in any sort of light from the sun, with Jysual being thankful as his dark elven eyes were too acustomed to the deep black of the Undercities after the hundreds of years he had spent their. Yet the lack of any signs of their cursed relatives gave the warrior pause, it was not like them to leave themselves vulnerable. As the three dared to move further from the entrance, the youngest brother stumbled upon something and let out a small yelp as he ran into it. Reaching down to pick up the object, he recognized it as the typical helmet of one of the guardsmen that were stationed at the entrance, but the right side was ripped in half, with blood smearing its' edges.

"What happened here?" Jysual dared whisper to himself. As he used his gifted eyes to penetrate the darkness, his jaw mind screamed with disbelief, and his hands shook in fear. The entire area around them was more a graveyard than a market, as multilated bodies cluttered the ground around him: human, dwarf, elven, and even dragon remains were to be found.

"What in all of the dark chaos of the world has happened?!"

A complete media circus, a hodge-podge of different religions, ceremonies and styles all moulded together in the classic Starblaydi style. Traditional and contemporary blended with the cutting edge and the ancient in equal measure. Here a flat-screen plasma high-definition TV screen for those at the back of the cathedral, there a Christian-style holy choir of voices to soar like angels. In one corner there stood an Orthodox censer bearer, in another corner a fur-clad druid with a gnarled stick and wooden bowl of what could only be described as 'goo'.

The marriage of Tiberius Starblayde to Dominque Domasca was the international event of the year, perhaps even the decade. Never before had two international leaders of such renown and attractiveness fallen in love and married without some sort of preceding international meat market and online date-a-thon. It was football, really, that had brought them together, and now they were to be joined as one for all to see. The Lord-Protector of the Protectorate of Starblaydia and the President (for life) of the United Provinces of Krytenia. Two nations of a similar age, with similar World Cup involvement, masters of the sportswear scene, eternals friends, rivals and even enemies.

The skin of the White Lion that Tiberius had personally killed (the footage was 'leaked' onto StarTube.co.sb to prove it) was at the foot of the altar for the bride and groom to kneel on - all mortals had to kneel in the presence of the gods, after all - the braziers were burning, the sweet censer fragrance filled the room, the choral voices ascended and the rings were exchanged. A piece of white cloth was wrapped around their wrists, tying them loosely together. Tiberius knelt on the right, a sword sheathed on his left side traditionally to be drawn to protect his new bride at a moments notice.

A civil ceremony, a paganistic ritual, a Christian marriage. All of these were combined into the most high-profile marriage in decades. There was a single question, though, that nearly went unasked.

If they were to share all their worldly possessions, quite what would the President for Life of Krytenia have to give to the Lord-Protector of Starblaydia... would it be Krytenia itself?

Consider this your World Cup Semi-Final RP cut-off.

The merriment had ceased many hours previously. The marriage had been consummated - four times, if you're counting - and, as a new morning dawned (6:17, if the clock on the wall was to be believed), so awoke Dominique Starblayde, next to her new husband. She looked out of her window onto the scenic view. Tiberius was still asleep and snoring lightly; his new wife, however, had one last marital surprise for her husband. She quickly put on a hotel bathrobe, and headed downstairs for reception. She met no guests along the way; the newlyweds had the nation's best five-star hotel to themselves.

* * * * * * * *

At 9:27am precisely, the phone next to Tiberius Starblayde rang, waking him. He answered with a grunt closely approximating "Whg?"

"My Lord, I have a message from your wife to turn the television onto Channel 17."

"Er....thank you?" Tiberius put the phone down, bemused, and turned on the television.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I address you today, not just as leader of a nation, but also as wife of a great man.

It is often said that married couples share everything. 'What's mine is yours' and so on. This is true, even of national leaders. To this end, and as stated to the members of the Senneth and Witting a few days ago, as of this morning Krytenia no longer exists, but instead has become a new nation.

I address you today as leader of the Protectorate of West Starblaydia."

"The Az-cz Robbers, a fearsome force in football, rising quickly through the rankings when they first came onto the scene."

"Hi, I'm Jason Bourne and you're listening to Bourne Talk."

"On today's show, we will be delving into the world of politics and sport, Starblaydia and the former state of Krytenia, The Protectorate of West Starblaydia, To be precise."

"Here in the studio We have political Anaylsts James Fornham and Stuart Les Patterson, and with the sport angle We have Andrew Coulter, the president of BFSA, in which the national soccer team is going to be playing Valanora for the World Cup final."

"So James what's your opinion of this?"

"I'm quite amazed, it is clear that Domasco has gone off her Rocker. I mean what do we even call her anymore. President? Lady-Protector? And it's clear that the former state of Krytenia is now subserviant to Starblaydia. The personal lives of Tiberius and Dominique Starblaydi should have no affect on their nations. When a leader puts their own agenda lile this. It can only mean trouble."

"Stuart?"

"Well, I couldn't be more happier for them, I'm amazed that Krytenia is now West Starblaydia but I and everyone else will just have to get used to. I can't see why this should phase anyone. The two leaders have joined together in holy union and I can't see why the unified leaders can't unify their nations."

"There is another angle that we have so far yet to cover and we haven't heard anything about what the people of West Starblaydia think of their name change but, now there is an issue of how this relates to sports and sporting acheivements. Welcome Andrew Coulter"

"Thank you, from what I understand Starblaydia and West Starblaydia will still be run as independent countries despite the nuptials between the Lord Protector and his new bride. So in most senses West Starblaydia will inherit not only the Krytenian Aces national team, which we have no idea what will be called. I have confirmed with Vephrese representatives of the WCC President's office that West Starblaydia. And have confirmed that there will be Puppet status of Starblaydia."

"So basically West Starblaydia will continue where Krytenia left off?"

"That s my understanding of the situation yes. Thank you Andrew... And now onto another subject, Cash Payments for organ donation, is this a slippery slope of taking advantage of the under priviliged or necessary for survival?"

"This is giving me a headache, so What we're now in West Starblaydia?"

"Yes."

"But we haven't moved."

"Yes."

"So we're in Krytenia."

"No, we're in West Starblaydia, Dominque the president of Krytenia changed their name to West Starblaydia."

"See why I have a heachache? So have any of the cities or stadiums changed their names?"

Yes, no"

"Wait yes that the cities and Stadiums have changed their names or that you can see why I have a headache?"

"Oh, I don't know I've got a headache now..."

Jysual Kenlyl and his two brothers had scoured the area, but could find no signs of any sentient life. With nothing but corpses and their lifeblood being put on display for the warriors to find, the trio quickly retreated back to the darkness of the Undercities. When they reported their findings to the Council of Nedarila, the Council decided that this was the time for their race to retake the surface world. With their main adversieries out of the way, or so it would seem, there would not be a force strong enough to dispatch the drow army. The army: which consists of 100,000 drow warriors, 10,000 sorceress, and 5,000 sorcerers, marched triumphantly through the darkness and spilled over the landscape that had been the outer reaches of Vernad. As the dark force flowed through the empty city, putting the end to whatever hapless soul that was still living the could find, there was an erie sence of nerovusness about the army. For although they rejoiced in the destruction of these frail light elves, who thought themselves far superior to their cousins, and their allies in the dragons and humans, it made them wonder what sort of evil force had wiped them out. For centuries they had prayed to Melliki to bring forth the destruction of their banashers, but their prayers had gone answered or the annoying elven Goddess of Elune would intervene and foil Melliki's attempts.

Being more level-headed than most, and always on his guard, Ginwae Do'Afin, ordered the army to set up camp in the forsaken city. They would soon be performing sacrifices to Melliki, to thank her for whatever caused their foe's fall, and for her protection as they begin to assault the surface world. Ginwae was going to have his force prepared, and they would use Vernad as their base of operations, from which they would slowly devour the surface; city by city, region by reigon, country by country. He believed their might to be too overwhelming, even in this age of machine and guns, the magic and will of the drow would be too much for the lesser races of the world to contend with. Even the sun's rays would not hurt their eyes in time, and they would be all powerful. If only the master blacksmith knew what was happening just a few hundred miles away in Gladerial, and in the Gray Havens.

Inside the White Fortress, Gladerial

"Tobias, we've got more incoming. Looks like destroy squadrons again, backed with some of the quickees." a bloodied Zacharius yelled out to the Great Leader.

"Bloody hell, how many of these damn thing are we going have to take down before we get a reprieve." an obviously frustrated Tobias yelled back to the former footballer.

"Don't worry boyo, my infantry will keep it them back. I promised your mother, uncle, and grandfather I'd protect you, and by Elune, I'll do so again!!!" the ever present General Duke reassured the young elf.

When the cloud had swallowed the nation, nothing had happened for the first forty-eight hours. Afterwards, strange creatures, alien in appearance, began showing up and attacking the cititzens. At first it was small dog looking ones with huge tusks used for stabbing their pray. They moved too quickly for a normal soldier to target, and by weeks end, were quickly being called quickees. Then came humanoid looking creatures, but they had a beak like mouth and their right arm was clawish. They moved much slower than the first wave of creatures, but as expected, were far more difficult to kill due to a thick skin. Their deadly efficient methods of wiping through the infantry had them dubbed destroyers. Their had been flying beasts, resembling dragons but with multiple heads and far more aggresive, as well as some other creatures. But they were soon dealt with, though not before killing a large part of the standing army, and dragon population. With the armed forces that protected them dismantled, the citizens were quickly hunted down and slaughtered by the invaders. Those few that somehow survived fled to the White Fortress in Gladerial, and to Mount Sumarja outside of Char Sara. Though neither were aware of how they were faring, they knew that each was out there, fighting once more for the existance of their species. In total, just over 500,000 of what was a population of 9 billion remained now. Somehow, thanks to a strange twist of fate, all of the football clubs and academies were out of the country, most in Demot and Vyinta for some training matches and friendlies. Yet the great families of old, save the Raynors and the Nights, were all but obliterated. If they were too survive this, and rebuild, it would be an entirely new breed of elven society that would rule the day.

"Get the goliaths into position. I want them to concentrate on those destroyers, leave the quickees to the turrets. Surely they can not have much more to throw at us. We've been in this fortress for nearly three months now, and have held them back at every turn. We've lost good men and women, elves that will be sorely missed, but we have not let them breach these walls. Surely they must be running out of troops to throw at us, surely their resolve must be wavering..."

In the Gray Havens

Elune struggled against the chains that bound her. The goddess tugged and pulled and yet the bonds gave nothing, no signs of a break to come. In her chair, Melliki laughed at the feeble attempt of her advisery for thousands upon thousands of years. She had never imagined that she would be able to catch the goddess so unaware, so vulnerable, and bind her so. She had crafted that chainlink herself, and had it empowered to confine divine powers, so that when she caught the goddess preparing the ritual to send the hero Jas Hatire to aleviate her subjects, binding her with the chains, it made her as weak as those she was attempting to save.

"You should quit struggling Elune, you're just going to injure yourslef, and we don't want that now do we. After all, what would the all powerful Goddess be if she was to somehow hurt herself in a meaningless struggle when she should just sit and watch her subjects be destroyed. Once those frail light elves are wiped clean from the face of this world, your power will be gone, and I will claim my rightful place as the goddess to whom all elves should pray to. I shall be the queen b**** of the afterlife, and there is nothing you can do about it sister, so just quit struggling."

To be concluded in an independent RP

Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas and Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas were cranky. They and a bunch of Jeruselem soldiers had trouble getting into the Elven temple in Jeruselem. It was covered in a dense black cloud which seems to stop all attempts for them to get in. The garden outside was ruined and there was no way in.

Inside Kate Dallas was running around sword. The small staff of Elven Priests and Servants were hiding a secure room while Kate Dallas was hacking unpleasant creatures which seems to come from nowhere to pieces. She was covered in blood and the place was a mess but she was determined to clean up her own prison. She preferred to have nice quiet life than live with a bunch dark creatures.

Dazza Dallas had quite enough of this crap. She transformed herself into her true. Her clothes disintegated as she started to glow. She was naked but an aura of energy surged around her. She walked into the darkness, physically tearing it away as like paper to find the door.

The doors seemed sealed but she kicked opened doors. Creatures rushed towards hers, but she simply just removed them from reality with her light sword. The Goddess (aka Dazza) rampaged through the temple cleaning the place up.

She found Kate Dallas fending off creatures to the secure room. Kate was getting weak and was starting have trouble. Dazza appeared and removed the last creatures. After that Dazza fainted, and crashed. Dazza lay on the ground naked. Jacinta and Kate tried to wake their Mother up, but no to avail. The soldiers freed the temple staff who looked at Dazza. The sixty year old looked younger, back to her 40s.

A Elven priest said "I see the Goddess Isis is amongst us. I thought something was odd about her. Kate, this is your future when your mother dies. You will have to replace her."

THE MONASTIC TIMES

OCHE, HOLY SYNOD DENOUNCE STARBLAYDIA MARRIAGE AS 'HERETICAL'
Tiberius Starblayde - Dominique Domasca Wedding 'Non-Canonical'

By Fr. Athanasius the Far-Sighted
Foreign Correspondent


The Orthodox Church of the Holy Empire's Department of External Church Relations of the Patriarchate and the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy today joined forces in denouncing the marriage of the Lord Protector of Starblaydia and the President for Life of the nation formerly known as Krytenia as 'heretical'. According to sources close to the OCHE and the Holy Synod, the Patriarch is said to have taken a personal interest in news reports that claim that a so-called 'Orthodox Priest', accompanied by a censer-bearer, presided over the sham marriage in the presence of a pagan 'fur-clad druid'; the Patriarch is said to be personally scandalised at the description of the occasion as a 'civil ceremony, a paganistic ritual, a Christian marriage'. "The first and last of these are arguably compatible - render unto Caesar, after all" said a source close to the Patriarch, "but the idea that a paganistic ritual is compatible with a Christian marriage is risible."

Further doubt was cast on the legitimacy of the marriage ceremony by the news that not all aspects of an Orthodox wedding were followed by the unhappy couple. "Kneeling on the skin of a white lion might be passed off as a local custom" said yet another senior OCHE source "and it would appear that the procession around the sacramental table with loosely-bound hands was correctly followed. Alas, Starblaydi media reports make no mention of the Rite of Betrothal immediately before the main ceremony, the Crowning of the couple during the ceremony, the sharing of the common cup of wine, or the removal of the crowns and the final blessing. What sort of a wedding was this anyway? We can only assume that this marriage is non-canonical and void, and that the Lord Protector and President for Life are now engaging in carnal sin outside of the blessed state of Holy Matrimony."

While the declaration of heresy is believed to have the full support of the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy, senior bureaucrats within the Holy Empire's secular government structures have been more circumspect and diplomatic. "It is not the habit of the government of the Holy Empire to comment on the affairs of Ordinary Reality nations, nor are we prepared to comment on ecclesiastical matters" said one senior ISPI figure, also speaking anonymously. "Individual citizens of the Holy Empire have enjoyed significant friendships with Starblaydi citizens, and we see no reason why this should not continue" he added.

As is the RL tradition, the 3PPO is taking place the day before the final.

Az-cz, ready!
Casari, ready!

Three...
Two...
One...

*pheet!* (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13674356&postcount=36)

It wasn't on the field, but in assembly hall where the true scene of horror emerged.

"Oh, nonono." one Assemblyman muttered, watching the scene. The decision was one of spite, and nobody was expected to avtually vote for it, but enough sarcasm had lead to a four-vote victory for the 83rd candidate for the next Premier of Casari.

Of course, a fair number of people decided to leave the country, moving wherever they could, leading to excellent deals on fairly nice housing and lots of jobs available. But, really, nobody cared to be around anymore, and everything was a product of that. And, with some shady backroom dealings and a significant amount of money changing hands, a deal was done, those getting their share managed to find their way off, some valuable government property was auctioned off, and, lastly, the keys to the office were left for the new owners.

"... I still can't believe the Bostopians had the best bid."

"Well, better them than the UCS. Anywhere, where we going?"

"I hear Vephrall's nice this time of year." Neumar said, taking an impressive looking award sitting on the desk and putting it on his office chair full of stuff.

"Well, it's a good as anyplace else." Winter said, nodding. "I'm just happy I don't have to do work anymore."

Vyinta Times
A Star Is Born

Forty-two years have passed since the Marauders first entered World Cup competition. For forty-two years, they have strived to become champions, to become the greatest team in the world. And for forty-two years, they have failed at that task, coming only as close as third best in three tournaments. At long last, the futility is up, the chase is over, for now, We Are Champions!!! It is a wonderful accomplishment for the commonwealth, espicially when you consider the circumstance in which these players had to play through. Not knowing whether their loved ones at home were alright, if they would ever be able to step foot in their home country again, the majority of them that is. You could tell that it was weighing on their minds, as Bazalonia was able to blitz the team hard in the first half, and through Kang and Kelly, were two up with just five minutes left to go in the half. Not to take away anything from Bazalonia, who have done wonderfully well to make it to the Final, but they are just not of the same class of the Marauders, yet. So to be heading into the half down two nil after everything this squad has been through to reach this point, it was quite perplexing and frustrating.

The tide of the match however seemed to turn around when Cristi Kries was taken out by Xia Chia as she was trying to dribble back towards the center of the park. With it just being twenty five yards out, Laborious decided he was going to have a crack on goal. With his powerful deliverry, he watched the ball curl around the wall and into the near corner, with Kanga not being able to react in time. With the deficit halved, and the air seemingly taken out of the Bazalonia sails, the break only seemed to get the squad ready to strike and strike fast. Kiso would take a wonderful lob from Soldarian and deliver a half-volley that went right off the crossbar. However, the ball came back towards Kiso, and he leaped up and headed it down past Kanga to pull things level just two minutes after the restart.

From there, the beautiful attack of the Marauders began to lay siege to the Bazalonia goal. To their credit, the Bazalopes looked like they were not going to break and the match would be heading into extra-time. Oh, but the squad were not going to be denied, not even by the marvelous defending of Bazalonia. Second half sub Roger Zensan would get on the end of a Kawi Marl cross and head it past Kanga for the lead in the seventy-seventh minute. Most squads would retreat back into a shell after taking the lead in a Final that late in the match, but Webber had the squad press forward, and it nearly cost them. Kang and Bishop were away on a counter attack with only Nickel between them and Yoshida. The savvy defender then broke it up with a marvelous tackle on Kang and a quick clearance to aleviate the danger. As the fourth official signaled three added minutes, and the Vanorian portion of the crowd begining to sing "Strength, Honor, and Glory!", the cap was put on the match. Roger Zetaback would dispossess Bishop at the halfway line, and then worked a magnificent one-two with Zensan to free himself in on goal. Kanga had the angle, so the Green Island midfielder made the smart decision and laid it off for an oncoming Kiso Night, who easily put the game away with his blast into the open net.

So where do we go from here? With the ESF mainland still under siege from this cloud, to where will the players go celebrate? It is true that Capri is still unaffected, and that the national stadium there would be more than happy to house the trophy, but what about the players? For now, they will be making temporary homes here in Vyinta, until there is a sign from the mainland that it is safe to return. One can only hope that this astonishing achievement is not overshadowed by a tragedy that very likely is waiting once this "cloud" has been lifted.

Bazalonia 2
Everrett Kang (29)
Johnathon Kelly (34)

Valanora 4
Laborious Hawk (42)
Kiso Night (47, 90+2)
Roger Zensan (77)

Scorers
Kiso Night - 22
Laborious Hawk - 11
Yan Kips - 7
Ikles Razov - 6
Anti Fresco - 4
Scott Soldarian - 3
Ali Alidare - 3
Roger Zetaback - 2
Roger Zensan - 2

Article by Luna Santapa