NationStates Jolt Archive

"The problem, as I see it, is really that we're not paying attention enough. That's the only real reason," explained the TV pundit, "and so the spiritual lifeforce is missing."

"Does World Cup XL mean it's extra large or something?" the other guy asked the nationwide audience of approximately eight still watching the late-night/early-morning broadcast.

"Ha ha. Like no one's thought of that before, Dave."

"My name's Adam."

"Coming up after the break, Kelssek's football team still bottom of the group, and we'll talk about grass and why it isn't like ice."

"No, seriously, are they trying to make some boast about the number of teams in it or something?" Adam said as important messages about chocolate chip cookies began.

http://www.islandsdaily.co.ad/sport/blog/wc40q/two_in_a_row#commentsanchor
Two in a row!
Posted 9:09 pm, MD5 by Luke Evans

In for Davey again. He's away covering the TakilQuip Champions Cup, with Olympique Protectorat set to take to the field in the final against former Bedistani (now UCS) side Yuba United in the final of that tournament later this week.

As Davey pointed out in his last blog, Dave Hollow must've read my matchday three post about how he needs to change his team around, because he did that and look where we are now: just three points off the top of the group. Despite letting in two goals today Martin Kawn has shown he can perform at the highest level, arguably better than Ben Ropes — I'll leave that to you.

The new-look strike force of Julian D'Abbo (Julian's a very good player, and although I did say he needed to be dropped last time out and he wasn't, he's now proved me wrong), Francis Yang and James McDonald seems to be working, with Connor and Bryson falling back to the bench after their rather poor performances in the first three games.

Yang, the first Asian Ad'ihani to score for the national team last time out against Hryvinia, did well again today, didn't he? Set up the first goal for D'Abbo very nicely and was unlucky to see his own effort in the second half rifle off the bar.

At the back, Hollow's been bold. I swear, he's been reading this column, since he started typically left-back John Bristow ahead of Garry Gardner for today's match at right-back — as Chris in Pilminster recommended in response to Davey's last post.

Garry's a decent lad but he's getting on in terms of age now and might be suited to start thinking about life after playing. I cannot see him being selected by the next manager (assuming Hollow doesn't keep his job) for the next tournament if his performances continue in this vein.

I've had the chance to speak to my nephew, Philip Brennan-Evans, today and Phil told me the mood in the training room is starting to pick up now. There's more belief in the team and they showed nerves of steel today to hang on to their lead at 3-0 despite ultimately being pegged two goals back.

Now we've got a tough test of having to go to Wentland and get a result there, and similarly away at Prux. Having dropped points against these two teams at home, our hopes will rest on getting a result away from home.

Before that, though, we're set to play Valanora away in Elves Security Forces in a friendly. It'll be a chance for Hollow to test new formations and squad lineups out before the second half of qualifying — a crucial segment if any — begins.

As always, feel free to leave any comments or questions below and I'll try to answer them.

Permalink | Trackback | View comments for this post (7)

Comments

1. Tom posted 9:19 pm

Luke, it's an honour to be reading your posts. What you did for Ad'ihan is still appreciated by many fans. I can't help but agree about Yang. He looks a great player and it's amazing that we've yet to see him in the top flight! Being an Altsend fan I've had the chance to see him play in person in friendlies and he's always impressed me.

2. chris, pilminster posted 9:38 pm

if dave hollow is really reading our comments then i'm happy to have helped the team with my suggestion last week. still, we continue to look shaky at the back and still let in two goals today. we need to buck up. maybe it's time to drop quinn and fisher as well?

3. Alfred, Knolees, Vephrall posted 9:58 pm

Good god my connection here in Vephrall sucks. Ad'ihani expat in Knolees who's had the fortune and pleasure to see Anthony Jones first-hand in person playing at Ellime Stithis.. Goal he scored today was nicely done.

4. Pierre posted 9:58 pm

Two on the trot now, who would have thought? Once again Francis Yang shows his class.

5. David in Jhanna, Starblaydia posted 10:01 pm

After last week's result against Hryvinia I started to believe again. Today has just been the culmination of that. By the way, Luke, your last blog after MD3 said that discussions were underway about Hollow's future. Any word on who the AFF is looking at to replace him?

6. Melissa -Navon Beach posted 10:14 pm

Will be interesting to see if we can build on this and rampage through the second half of qualifying. Not sure what the hell the AFF are doing organising away friendlies, though, we haven't had any at home yet this campaign.

7. Luke Evans posted 10:21 pm

Chris: I'm not sure. Kenny is a great player and one of the very, very few of ours good enough to be plying their trade overseas out of the United Islands Premier. Not that he's getting much playing time with El din right now, but still, it's a testament to his ability. I'm sure he'll get over this rough patch of form.

Jed, though, I think he needs a rest. You can see it in him, he's getting very tired playing. Time to give Justin Stenstrom a few outings. Might help tighten our back line.

Alfred: Nice to hear from Vephrall, even if you are Ad'ihani. I totally agree. Having had the pleasure to work with Tony in WC38 I know his quality. I'm disappointed he chose to leave the Ad'ihani league but when the money you're being paid at home is that little, you can't really blame him. You're lucky to get to watch him in person.

Pierre: Yes, Francis Yang is a great talent. I've spoken to Seth Taylor, the Mountbatten Junction manager, about this kid. Seth's evaluated him out and I think Yang will be gracing the pitch at Protectorate Stadium far more often in the domestic game now.

David: Another overseas-based fan! Today might have been the culmination of the recovery but there's still a long way to go. Regarding any potential successor for Hollow, I haven't heard anything yet. Who would you recommend?

Melissa: I agree. When I was manager, back when Ad'ihan was still a self-governing protectorate, even our 'home' friendlies had to be played in Liverpool England (Liventia). But I agree. The AFF is letting the fans down. The fans want to see their heroes in action (or maybe they don't, if Hollow's going to play the same way he did against Prux or Wentland) in person, and I think it's disgraceful the AFF hasn't considered any yet.

Keep your thoughts coming!

"The inability to get the ball into anything resembling an attacking position was the main problem."

"Well, I disagree, I think having four players sent off was the main problem..."

"They didn't have four players sent off."

"You told me they did."

"I did not!"

"So you're lying to me now, Dave?"

"For the last time my goddamn name is Adam!"

"Liar liar pants on fire!"

"So yes, that's right," the host not on the verge of cutting up his colleagues and disguising their remains as leftover Thai curry quickly cut in, "and also, our national football team is hopeless, absolutely crap, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and there's nothing you can do about it. We go live now..."

A shot of a completely empty stadium appeared briefly on screen.

"...or not, to the match between... oh, it's not for another five hours. Sorry about that, must... be... a... typo... somewhere. In fact I don't think there are any matches today."

"What the hell are we doing here then? That idiotic, brain-dead, syphilitic, horse-molesting producer."

"There are international friendlies!" someone yelled from off-camera.

"This is goddamn farcical. I'm going to bed." fumed Adam.

"Pansy," the other two hosts muttered simultaneously.

Turkic Dreams fading
All hopes of a play-off spot are all but gone after this defeat, conceding 2 early goals made life harder for the Turks as they attempted to upset yet another giant team. Sinan Kose was cut off from the team by a defense who knew what they were doing, Serkan Turkmen was beaten to the through ball, time and time again. The one glimmer of hope in the first half was Sinan Kose's hail-marry shot from 40 yards which rattled the crossbar.

The second half brought more bright spots as Serkan Turkmen challenged the goalkeepers reactions from the free kicks with little trouble in executing but, hitting the net was just out of their reach. Today marks the first game in which they haven't scored.

Kose Says Dreams Can Come True
The teams recent defeat had all but ejected them from the battle for the play-offs and left their hopes crippled but Sinan Kose ever the optimist has said that the next Group 6 game is crucial. "We're at home against the Lopes" he said "If we make that war chant and keep it hostile we can make this work."

Coach Murat Sacked!
Coach Murat was sacked in wake of their recent defeat to Rejistania, the team have been planning to petition the FF to repeal the decision but the FF have rejected the calls and are now seeking a new manager. The bookies are saying that Hakan Izmir is next in line to the team but that Hedo Metin may be in the running as well.

A bored Flak Sho is a Novapsolu hospital bed with broken leg ... after breaking it during Jeruselem's win over Novapsolu. The nurse tells him his girlfriend Jacinta Dallas is here. Flak releases it's not Jacinta Dallas but Jacinta Sallad, a common mistake to make.

Jacinta: Oh, how are you?
Flak: Hello Jacinta. I'm fine, I guess I can't play football for a while.
Jacinta: The Princess sent me here, to check on you. She's worried.
Flak: Nothing to worry about Jacinta, I'll be alright. You look anxious.

Jacinta: Who wouldn't be. That was a pretty bad break.
Flak: Well, I'm out for the rest of the cup. So disappointing!
Jacinta: You can spend more time with your girl!
Flak: I suppose that's a good thing but I'm paid to play football not make babies.

Jacinta: Poor Princess is worried, and so am I.
Flak: Well, not much one can do about it now.
Jacinta: How long you staying in hospital?
Flak: A few days, and then I fly home.

Jacinta: Who's taking you home? The team is leaving tomorrow?
Flak: Don't worry about that. They've arranged someone to help me out.
Jacinta: The team need you Flak, but we'll have to do without I guess.
Flak: We have the big game against Dance 2 Revolution next. We need to win that game without me.

Jacinta: At least we're scoring goals now. We want to kick the dancing team's ass!
Flak: Well, it's going be a home game for us.
Jacinta: Anything we can do? Apart from getting Jesus to turn and fix your leg.
Flak: Not much, I just have to rest. Just get out there and win games I guess.

Jacinta: How are parents handling this?
Flak: Dad's not too fussed, you I'm a grow man but Mum is stressed already.
Jacinta: Oh the girls in the team miss ya including me.
Flak: I'm sure they do but I'll be missing I guess.

Jacinta: I'd better be going. Must pack to go home.
Flak: Oh, see you later then. Yes, I'll be seeing your twin later too.
Jacinta: Remember if a Dallas girl bores you, there's always a Sallad girl.
Flak: Don't worry, I won't be bored.

The streets of Rennidan were packed. The winding, dusty roads held tanned clouds around the feet of all those walking over the cobbled brick. The green and gold football shirts of the island nation were everywhere. Everywhere the echo of chanting rang true as Rennidan's public houses were crammed full of football supporters watching their team lose, yet again, in the qualifying round of the World Cup.

Yet everyone was still smiling.

Not a single win in any of their five matches meant they had one of the worst records in this World Cup.

Yet Rennidan had only lost their last few matches by one goal, the biggest upset of these being their latest run in with UCS SLANI, number one team in the world.

The Rennidanian goalkeeper, Ryan Malkoa, was becoming somewhat of a national idol to the people. He had made more saves in these few matches of the World Cup than in a season with the Southern Hawks. Rumours had it he'd be inducted into the Rennidanian Hall of Sporting Fame, which would make him the first sportsman in the country to have his bust put in there for playing outside of the nations great walls.

Of course, none of this was running through his head at the moment. He was too busy snoring and drooling slightly into his pillow.

___________________________________________

I had a dream last night. The world was in black and white, I was in black and white.

The stadium wasn't.

It glowed like one of those halos you seen in the religious propaganda films they showed in schol.

And I was running.

I can't say if I was running too or away from the stadium. But I was bare footed.

And the ground wasn't grass.

It was glass.
Broken and shattered.
And cutting.

I reached the stadium (swear to God I was running away from it).

It had faded, but it was still there.

Atop that mountain (did I mention the mountain?).

I entered.

It was cold.

Yet inviting.

(Did I mention the mountain was alive?)

The place was packed full of people.

They were all sat in the stands.

And I was in the goal.

(Did I mention the mountain was alive and talking to me?)

There was silence.

It was deafening.

And I just stood there, waiting.

(I think it was quoting Macbeth at me).

And I was waiting.

And the silence deafened.

I was numb.

My feet were sore.

(I dare do all that may become a man; who dares do more, is none.)

And I was waiting.

And the silence numbed.

I was deaf.

And my feet were sore.

(Are you a man?)

And I was sore.

And the silence was waiting.

I was deaf.

And my feet were numb.

And, oh look, that there is a mountain.

And it's kicking a football.

At me.

Well damn.

THE EMPIRE TIMES

EAGLES ANSWER CRITICS
EMPIRE WINS 3-0

The Bloumany International Soccer team answered their critics last night in the best way possible by defeating Agroprom 3-0 in what can only be described as a stellar match. After losing to Bostopia and a humiliating defeat against Valanora which saw the team 3-0 up at half time to lose it all in the second half conceding the five goals scored by Valanora in 23 minutes.

During the first half the ball remained in the Eagles defensive third for 35 minutes, the Blouman defence was able to keep them at bay with both Vice Captain Sam Kiamar and William Walker executing the best tackles of the tournament so far, Alex Burner also performed well saving a total of 22 shots from all directions proving why his nickname is 'Octopus'. In the 44th minute the eagles were able to break the Agroprom defence with both Christopher Speed and Jack Juckson running down the centre and after a quick one-two Junckson was able to slot it into the back of the net.

After the break, the Eagles made little time in widening the gap with Anthony Williams scoring a goal from a cross off Johnathon Filmar in the 48th minute. While the Agroprom offense had broken down with no shots on goal during the final 45 minutes, the Agroprom defence had not let the two goals break their spirits with the Blouman offence unable to get a clear shot on goal. However, in the 81st minute Steven Holdings off a corner headed the ball into the bottom right hand corner making it impossible for the Agroprom keeper to stop it. The game finished 3-0.

The win puts the Empire in third place with seven points and zero goal difference, they are still three points behind Bostopia and six behind undefeated Valanora, however they still must continue to work hard to maintain within the top three with Agroprom and Solenial less than three points behind.

The National Reporter Online: News with a View
Group 3 all tied-up at half-way stage

Iain Miller writes. Oui, j’aime jouer au football. Oú est la piscine? Ecoutez et répétez. One kilometre on foot wears out the fingers on your toes. The elephants are enormous!

Yes, just when you thought it was safe to forget the French portion of your Cruel and Unusual Languages EAG, what with the absence of Ariddia and Oliverry and that, we get drawn in a group alongside. Septentionia. We’re not even talking Sel Appan or Kelssekian minorities, either. These are proper Frenchies.

They’re also no mugs, following a quarter-final showing in their Baptism of Fire (and there’s no shame in that; ‘tis a fine place at which to be knocked out) and that first World Cup qualifying game which ended in a famous 2-1 victory at Tiddles Park. Their clubs sides were only mildly outclassed in the recent Champions’ Cup too; suggesting that, while real progress may be slow, they could yet become a force to be reckoned with at a higher level.

The Atlantian Oceanian side (ooh, that’s unusual) certainly gave the Big Blues a run for their money at the Stade 1093, and only the rather fortuitous result occuring over in Bettia keeps Lloyd Donnelly’s men up their with the inseparable trio of group leaders. The Septentrionians know that sneaking beyond even Lovisa into the play-off places is probably beyond them – a Cup of Harmony run is their entire raison d’être this time around by their own admission – but games such as these represent rather more than merely practise for them. Any point earned, never mind three, gives a major boost to their ranking and future pot-placement, and the visit of any side with previous World Cup experience is an excellent opportunity for these inexperienced players to show Monsieur Henri what they can do.

They may have been hors conours in a practical sense, but Donnelly would have been advised not to take them quite so lightly; particularly after the 3-0 crushing of the Big Blues’ last visit to this blasted region. Within four minutes the visitors were deservedly a goal down, following a lovely sequence starring Roger Danis, Mario Latraverse and Louis Quenneville. The Union winger then launched a sweeping ball over to François Lafontaine on the right, who burst past José Luis Sosa and smashed a shot at Oberon Martinez. The Albrecht Turkish ‘keeper palmed it out, but Roland Bouchard was perfectly placed to poke in the rebound.

After conceding so early, the away side showed a fine espirit de corps to rally and put Septentrionian under pressure. Minutes later they had equalised; patient build-up rewarded with Adlai Dobson’s through-ball to Ramiro Novo, who held off William Benoît and scored his nineteenth international goal with a simple finish.

But C&M were still struggling to deal with the little ménage à trois down the left, and on the half hour the home side had their noses back in front through Latraverse, who was coming off the better of his extended tête-à-tête with his elder, O’Sullivan Caras. His subsequent cross beat everybody, including Martinez.

Bouchard very nearly delivered what could well have proved the coup de grâce twice before half-time, and Donnelly was spurred into action at the break; withdrawing Caras and Ben Head for Fred Ma and Matteo Corradini. C&M attacked en masse, clearly at risk of loosing a third goal from the home side’s counter-attacks, but they also struggled to create clear openings at the other end. Ma had the best opportunity after being played in by his fellow substitute, but the Gwangdong midfielder lacked the necessary sang-froid and he skied his shot badly; the ball eventually landing in that curious potty-come-swimming-pool edifice just outside the stadium.

Then, just when their efforts were looking futile, José Felipe Cassumba Domingos earned a corner off Danis and delivered it himself. Ignacio Vélez, the Cafundó do Juta striker having one of his quieter days, rose highest and nodded to ball out to Steven Williams. The imposing defender – well rested thanks to his recent three-match league suspension – supplied the moment suprême with a shot which managed to deflect off Latraverse and Danis, and sailed over René Laviolette’s head. The A.Turks man wouldn’t be able to manage that again in another century’s worth of international football, but he’ll take the goal all the same.

That C&M ‘held on’ to the point sadly reflects the balance of play after that, but a draw away from home is not to be sneezed at – especially given what they’ve taken off Bettia earlier in qualifying. Donnelly will want obvious improvement from his side in the away games against lesser lights to come, but this group is still there for any of the top three’s taking.

In the meantime, the Big Blues face a friendly with Vephrall in Arrigo; and while Donnelly will be wishing to take things a little easy, the Vephrese are on a role following a dreadful start and now a 6-0 victory under their new manager, and few would be surprised with an away win. The home manager will certainly be changing things around, with Rex Sandstrom given one last chance up front in an all Vircais-based partnership with Novo. Caras and Dobson will stay on the flanks, but Connor Mengucci will be given a starting berth alongside Cassumba Domingos, Harris Dixon slots in at right-back and Tom Redway is in for Ben Young. The Big Blues’ goalscoring opportunities meanwhile will be augmented somewhat by the presence of the ever-unpredictable Ozzy Stefano between the sticks.

Sod’s law may yet determine that this will be merely a warm-up for a play-off contest between a second-place C&M and third-place Vephrall, while even all these years later few Vephrese fans have forgotten the BoF and the first CoH. And nor have the C&M faithful forgotten the second CoH, for that matter. And, well; Vephrall, Kura-Pelland, it’s all the same these days isn’t it? When any C&M side meets one from Vircais, there’s always another chapter in the epic of this petit rivalité waiting to be written.

World Cup 40 Qualification Group 3 Game
@ Stade 1093, Ourseville, Septentrionia

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Septentrionia.png Septentrionia 2
Bouchard 4, Latraverse 31

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/candelaria_and_marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez 2
Novo 10, Williams 76

“Well here we are Gary at the half with Tynelia clinging to a 2-1 lead in what has been a back and forth battle against onetime power Legalese.”

“That’s right Walt. We got out to the early lead at minute 19 on a nice shot by Mandy Lynn before the visitors tied things up ten minutes later off a corner kick. But William MacDougal put us back ahead just before the half to get us where we are now.”

“But now its time for a special event as Tynelia finally faces Legalese for the first time since the pre World Cup 27 BoF where they fought to a 1-1 draw in the Kyle Cartman memorial exhibition match. That’s right viewers, Tynelia’s original BoF squad is returning here to the Presidential Coliseum for our special Blast From the Past reunion. Fifty two years ago the first Tynelian squad entered international play and now here they are back again.”

“That’s the truth Walt. They were given special seats on the bench but as the train of golf carts with our old stars from 52 years ago are making their way to the midfield lets let our PA man Mark Typhan do the honors.”

“… these legends of the game are back again for their first ever reunion and the glorious tradition of Tynelian soccer. Winners in an undefeated group stage beating current World Cup nations from Qazox and the Green Wombats along the way, before the Wombats got their revenge in the quarterfinals. A team invited specifically for an exhibition match with the co-hosts Legalese which ended in a 1-1 draw. These players despite being ranked in the 100s for the Cup itself showed enough mettle to take home a draw with top ten power Total n Utter Insanity, here are your World Cup 27 stars!”

“Leading the way in the first cart was our hero of the Baptism of Fire, who did not give up a goal in his first five matches. Let’s give a big welcome for the return of Tynelia’s greatest keeper, the man known as the ‘Wall’ VLADIMAR MALLOY!”

<crowd cheers loudly>

“Behind him is his successor to the starting job and has been called the greatest female soccer player in Tynelian history, who gained Tynelia’s first ever shutout against a higher ranked team. No further introduction is necessary for ‘AMAZING’ AMY WHITEWORTH!”

<crowd cheers wildly>

“Next to come is the most successful sports swapper in Tynelian history. This former marathoner made the switch to soccer and made up in aggression what he lacked in fundamentals. That’s right it’s the ‘Mad Middie’ MARK JOHNSON!”

<crowd cheers>

“Behind him is the highest scoring midfielder in Tynelia’s history and the captain of the first team. The general on the field its ADRIAN PYTTE!”

<crowd cheers>

“This next player was the old man of our inaugural squad and the most feared option off the bench. He later went on to coach the team in two straight Cups before stepping down. Of course that’s no other person but the ‘Sniper’ ADAM BILLINGTON!”

<crowd cheers>

“”Next in line is a member of one of Tynelia’s two most legendary soccer families. Multiple time defensive player of the year. Son and grandson of soccer players and father and grandfather of two more, including current player Jacob Stossels, it can only be the one and only JOHN STOSSELS!”

<crowd cheers louder>

“In the second to last cart was the ‘baby’ of the team at that time. One of the quickest players in the league and successor to John Stossels’ title as best defenseman in the league its TAL LI!”

<crowd cheers>

“And last but certainly not least. This man was Tynelia’s first international superstar and only international world cup hall of famer. Our all time leading scorer and symbol of perseverance staying in the sport until he could finally make it to the world cup itself where he scored Tynelia’s first ever World Cup goal against Krytenia. As the team’s coach he led the squad to three straight world cup qualifications before finally stepping down as the most decorated player and coach in our soccer history. The man needs no introduction but let’s hear it for Tynelia’s greatest soccer player- JAY MASTERSON!”

<deafening roar from the crowd as the last cart pulls up to the rest and the oldtimers slowly get out to walk around and wave to the crowd, some needing assistance by the staff. Adrian Pytte and Vladimar Malloy settling into the wheelchairs brought in ahead of time. Tynelian Soccer Federation officials coming up to each player and giving them a ceremonial gold and crystal plaque specially crafted for the occasion.>

“Ladies and Gentlemen I give you our Baptism of Fire and World Cup 27 team. Let’s let them hear our appreciation for the path they’ve paved for our sport!”

<crowd cheers wildly>.

Izmir made temporary manager
Ex-international Hakan Izmir has been appointed the manager for the friendly games, but he is apparently unhappy at the dismissal of the previous manager stating "I feel that the Football Federation have been expecting too much too soon and will now have to reevaluate their position at this time." When asked about the squad he responded "Murat has left me with a very strong team and I will strive to do the best I can while I have the post." Several sections of the media have now commented that reinstating coach Murat is not such a long shot and that all the people who have been asked have refused in protest. Izmir is expected to resign after the friendlies.

<QAZOX...three months into the World Cup XL qualifiers>

"Sir, Eightgraderistan's minister continues to refuse our 'requests' to help put down the insurgents in his country." 'David Erison' said.

"Fine, then just invade and wipe them off the map." Daniel Renoir replied. "They shall be wiped off the earth, not only beacuse they deny the true faith, but because it was predicted so in the Holy Book of Hoofaran. Chapter 45, Verses 17-19 state: "Yea, the young ones shall deny me, and the true believers shall vanquish them. The nation of oxen shall win, but in the eyes of the unbelievers, they will be cast from on high. Though the travels be difficult, the stong will survive and the oxen roam atop the world."

"Sir, you know that I'm not that religous, but how does that even begin to justify the full-scale invasion of another country?" 'Erison' answered.

"David, though you are an unbeliever, I trust in matters of security that you are compentent, despite your advanced age. Eighthgraderistan is a blemish of the world, allowing 12 year-olds to rule ,when Hoofaran himself said "Children should not be seen or heard, in fact they should even see the light of day until they are 16, when they can go out and get a job threashing wheat, or digging in mines."That country needs to be wiped out for the greater good!" Renoir countered.

"Fine, Sir. I'll see to it." 'Erison' answered.

As David Erison/ Kyle Cartman left the presidential office, numerous thought ran though his head, primarily, his mission.

'Dammit, I still haven't had any chance completely alone with Renoir. Not to mention that Ingrid Haas, if it really is her, I haven't seen yet. Everytime I try to see her, either she's out of the country, on a Missionary or she's involved with high-level Q Continuum talks with other nations. I need to prove one way or another if she's the real Ingrid. If so, then this mission will be harder to complete. I need both of them in the sme room at the same time, alone, and then...' The thought was interuptted by a sudden thump upon his head, and as he fell the the floor, a final voice entered his head, before he passed out..."Sorry, father."

OOC: Disclaimer - Please note that being Northern Bettian, this news report is written from a highly biased point of view, and therefore not all facts stated may strictly be accurate. Any offence caused is strictly IC!

The Anyuna Observer: our knees have gone all trembly
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/nbet-badge.gif
A New Dawn for Northern Bettia

Northern Bettia.........................6 (Yamane 35 76, Blakey 47pen 69pen 75pen, Fukui 87)
Taeshan........................................1 (Kitna 23)

The mighty Northern Bettia continued their inevitable rise to the top of the World with a crushing victory at home to lowly Taeshan, a win which leaves the Fire Ants with a virtually unbreakable stranglehold on Qualifying Group Ten.

Northern Bettia were forced to field a number of fringe players due to a string of yellow cards in the last games against Kereca resulted in numerous suspensions, yet another example of how referees are just corrupt pawns used in the world's pitiful attempt to deny Northern Bettia their rightful place as kings of football. At first, the Fire Ants toyed with the Purple Knights, allowing them a fair amount of time on the ball before expertly dispossessing them with precisely timed tackles. As a highly magnanimous gesture, they even allowed the visitors to score first, thanks to John Kitna's header from Brian Ying Uing right-wing cross.

After giving the tiny contingent of travelling supporters something to sing about, the Fire Ants then went about shutting them up with some scintillating football. Bettia's first goal came after Ubay Hayes was crudely tackled on the edge of the penalty area. Despite the away team's protests at what they thought was a blatant dive, Sonny Yamane placed the ball on the spot while team captain Ryan Kemys used his physical presence to disrupt the defensive wall. After a brief scuffle, the free-kick was taken and Kemys deftly ducked out of the way, leaving unsighted goalkeeper Tad Montague to stare forlornly as the ball said hello to the back of the net.

The first half finished with both teams equal, although Northern Bettia had an obvious penalty claim denied by the inept referee. Unfortunately for the visitors, their luck would soon run out. Just two minutes into the second half, Theo Aoyama was crudely tripped up inside the penalty area, even though some biased foreigner television companies tried to show that there were no defenders anywhere near him. Regular penalty taker Dawn Blakey stepped up to coolly send Northern Bettia into the lead.

Their lead was further extended twenty minutes later when Ashton Smyth was penalised for a handball in the area. Blakey once again took the spot kick to put Northern Bettia 3-1 up, and then claimed a hat-trick of penalties six minutes later after she was fouled. One minute later, Sonny Yamane burst through a bewildered defence to blast the ball home, and substitute striker Rhys Fukui completed the rout three minutes from time, firing home from ten yards out following good work on the wing by young army corporal Jackson Marina.

This win leaves Northern Bettia three points ahead of Taeshan, but with a far better goal difference having scored 21 goals, almost as many as all the other teams in this group combined. More crucially, their next game is at home to Yafor 2 - a win here will almost certainly assure the Fire Ants of a top two finish, leaving Northern Bettia nine points ahead of Yafor 2 with just four games left.

Rejoice Northern Bettians! It won't be long before we prove once and for all that our mighty nation is superior to every other team in the world... perhaps even Bettia themselves!


Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT...............VENUE......RESULT (SCORERS)


Qualifying Group 10

01: Yafor 2................Away.......D 1-1 (Sienko)
02: Fujisawan Territories..Away.......W 5-1 (Hayes 3, Sienko, Hayashibara)
03: Aqua Teen Hungerland...HOME.......W 5-1 (Hayashibara, Fukui, Katt, Blakey, Yamane)
04: Kereca.................Away.......W 4-1 (Yamane, Hayashibara, Sienko, Hayes)
05: Taeshan................HOME.......W 6-1 (Yamane 2, Blakey 3, Fukui)
06: Yafor 2................HOME.......
07: Fujisawan Territories..HOME.......
08: Aqua Teen Hungerland...Away.......
09: Kereca.................HOME.......
10: Taeshan................Away.......

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%201.PNG

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Tertius Shajarrayam

Urchins Have Psychychoes By Throats, Finish With Nine Men And Lose

After jumping out to a two nil lead by the eighteenth minute in Vogsphere, the Urchins made some crucials mistakes, and were the victims of some crucial mistakes. The 7th minute had seen goalkeeper Vekaj Amutarrad receive a yellow card for time wasting, but in the 23rd minute Newmanistan referee Bart DeGrace handed out a second to the Pazhujebi keeper for the same offense, obviously sending him off.

From there on out, the Urchins simply did not have the ability or the manpower to withstand Squornshelous' world-renowned attack, especially after valuable defender Huvem Tushambanda was also sent off in the 52nd minute, also because he had received a second yellow card.

Though Pazhujebi fans will surely be furious at the Newmanistan referee, most will acknowledge that the mistakes made were by their own club. This is a shame, since it appeared after the first twenty minutes of the match that the fifth ranked team in the entire world were going to be outplayed by the unheralded boys in purple.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/squornshelous.png Squornshelous 3
Maric; Oivanen, Tikkanen, and Kolodny; Marivych (Boskovic 51'), Vendelin, Prpic, and Tkermec; Kurka, Sykko (Petrov 68'), and Cvecej (Titov 88')

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png Pazhujeb Islands 2
Amutarrad; Tushambanda, Lissama, Idarha, and Rha; Parokshara, Abadhyash (Chenab 85'), Quridheru, and Qaltaban (Bejwai 24'); Panithaj and Qiva (Bicharna 46')

Referee: Bart DeGrace (Newmanistan)

Goalscorers-
SQN: Tkermec 30', Tikkanen 59', Boskovic 78'
TPI: Parokshara 1', Quridheru 18'

Matchday 1: Beer Served Here - Pazhujeb Islands (1-3 W)
Matchday 2: Pazhujeb Islands - The Archregimancy (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 3: Diojiu - Pazhujeb Islands (2-0 L)
Matchday 4: Pazhujeb Islands - Kolanderaz (@ K'arasiam Sarvatobhav in Pkethat Hevnaje) (3-2 W)
Matchday 5: Squornshelous - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Vogsphere Arena in Vogsphere) (3-2 L)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Holy Empire (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru)
Matchday 6: Pazhujeb Islands - Beer Served Here (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu)
Matchday 7: The Archregimancy - Pazhujeb Islands (@ A Peaceful Woodland Glade in the Dreamed Realm)
Matchday 8: Pazhujeb Islands - Diojiu (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu)
Matchday 9: Kolanderaz - Pazhujeb Islands
Matchday 10: Pazhujeb Islands - Squornshelous (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)
Post-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Starblaydia (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%202.PNG

Mid-qualifying friendlies have just seen their RP's cut off, tossed in the bin, and ending up on a truck on its way to the dump (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13585676&postcount=9).

KLVE 8
Fans Anticipate Game Against Taeshan Despite Protests

Fans have started ambling inside Crosscom Global Arena for pre-match fanfare before the highly anticipated match against Taeshan. Some diehard fans had purchased their tickets months in advance with limited early bird ticket sales, and this match is the only World Cup 40 qualifying match scheduled at Crosscom.

Following a 3-0 shutout away win for the Territories against Aqua Teen Hungerland, the mood is jovial. In fact, Crosscom feels like it’s own city with a sellout crowd, dozens upon dozens of Hoji Police Department and Crosscom security officers, and oh yes, those protesters in the parking lot.

If you’re wondering why a Hoji Police Department helicopter sits behind me in the main parking lot, police say they’re trying to make a statement that they’re in control and they aren’t about to tolerate anarchy.

On the heels of HPD’s third fatal shooting in less than a month, just days ago in this very parking lot, HPD says they’ve received a lot of anger from the general community. Frustration they say, that comes from not fully understanding the role of police in society.

Police in riot gear are keeping the protesters separated from fans going into the stadium, and HPD officers aren’t tolerating heckling from either side.

“You know, my blood is boiling, I mean I just got called a fascist pig! The guy had the nerve to ask me if I like being part of Prime Minister Ienari’s police state! You got wack job conspiracy nuts out here, and I just want to run to the mental asylum already. And I gotta stand here and babysit these tree hugging liberals all day?”
Saneo Kira
Hoji Police Officer

Many fans have offered small gestures of thanks, like twenty one year old Raku Ippitsusai, who bought Sand Dollars Coffee for as many HPD officers on the protest detail as she could afford.

“I was making so many trips that they asked me if I was an intern and who the coffee was for and when I explained it, they just started donating coffee to me. All I can say is I’m thankful to the HPD officers and they did the right thing when they shot that man. Thank you HPD.”
Raku Ippitsusai
Zeokit Fan

The group Hoji Citizens Against Police Brutality is putting on the protest in their objection to what they call trigger happy police officers. Many fans simply walked by blissfully ignoring the protests. Some stopped to yell at the demonstrators who held colorful signs and banners, but were ushered on by HPD officers.

Live from Crosscom Global Arena, Kayo Heike.

The Critically Unaclaimed Newspaper
Knights Defeat the Han
In afriendly soccer game last night. The Purple Knights defeated allies Daehanjeiguk for the second straight time in friendly play. Knight goalscorers wer middie Brian Ying Uing, and striker John Kitna.
The knights face the Fujisiwn Territories in there next match. It is an away game, and is expected to be close. In there first meeting the knights won 1-0.

"Has anybody seen the clipboard?"

"Yes."

Steven understood that a coach knowing where the clipboard was and giving it to the captain upon request was a rational and sensible thing to do. By corollary, therefore, it was unlikely to occur in the Zwangzug national football team. "...Where is it?"

"I don't know."

"You said you'd seen it."

"I have!"

"Within the last hour?"

"No."

Before Steven could think of an appropriate reply, Natalie waved it from the back of the clubhouse. "Over here."

He strode back, taking it. "What were you doing with it?"

"Planning how to hit someone over the head." She remembered quickly that her attempts at sarcasm often failed dramatically in the team. "Looking at tactics."

Since being named captain of Port of Clotaire, if not before, she had taken the positional side of the game much more seriously. And with that serious was coming a new assertiveness-not attack on the field (a first-minute goal aside), but a willingness to speak out.

Gary and Peter each scored, while an Uir forward beat Andrew's impromptu off-sides trap. It was 2-1 Zwangzug when Nathuni Khapjana blew the final whistle.

They had a perfect record at the halfway point, though. Whatever was going on worked. If it wasn't evidently broken, did she have a right to try and fix it?

Maybe only those who had seen it all could win, and the curse of victory was silence.

But no match could be "perfect"-there was always room for improvement, and Coach Mcgimpy was going to enter it. He had his usual postgame spiel to deliver.

And for a change, Natalie decided to pay attention.

MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION MEMORANDUM

RE: Squad inconsistency this World Cup & Beard Growing competition

Date: 4th Saturday of Great Lent (Memorial Saturday); Martyr Agathopodes the Deacon, and those with him, at Thessalonica; Martyr Theodulus the Reader, and those with him, at Thessalonica; Venerable Publius of Egypt; St Theonas of Egypt; St Simeon of Egypt; St Phorbinus of Egypt; Venerable Mark the Anchorite of Athens; St Plato the Confessor of Studion; Venerable Theodora of Thessalonica; Translation of the relics of St Job the Patriarch of Moscow and All Russia; Icon of the Mother of God of Kasperov; Martyr Claudius; Martyr Evpomoni.


Dear Brothers in Christ,

You can't help but notice our squad's one constant this World Cup has been inconsistency.... or so we would have the Ordinary Reality schismatics and heretics believe. In fact, ever since the miraculous conversion of Casari to Orthodoxy, the lads have been going great guns, God be praised.

Let's look at the evidence....

Kolanderaz 2-1 The Archregimancy: An unmitigated disaster. An exercise in Christian charity and monastic humility.

The Pazhujeb Islands 2-2 The Archregimancy: We fail to hold a two goal lead. Casarans convert.

The Archregimancy 2-2 Squornshelous: Opponents score two for the third match in a row, but this is a solid result against the top team in the group.

Diojiu 1-2 The Archregimancy: Go behind early, look nervous, but claw out a result. A win's a win.

The Archregimancy 2-1 Beer Served Here: Almost identikit replica of previous match, but have now won two in a row, and haven't lost since the opening match.

Bazalonia 0-6 The Archregimancy: Away friendly leads to greatest Archregimancy result in many a year. Fellow Orthodox in Iconodulistic Autocephalous Orthodox Church of Bazalonia perhaps a little too charitable and humble, but lads prove they can heavily beat decent sides.

Casari 3-3 The Archregimancy: Pan-Orthodox celebration leads to wild drunken Lenten booze-up among those Casarans who actually care about liturgical matters. Post-match liturgical con-celebration particularly inspiring.

The Archregimancy 2-2 Starblaydia: Dull, albeit high-scoring, match mainly livened by visiting official Di Bradini constantly running his hands wistfully through the long blades of grass, looking off into the distance, and sighing. Not sure what the pagan was up to; perhaps he has finally realised his false nature gods have abandoned him.


So, as you can, see, since that shock first match loss, the lads haven't lost a game, and other than the strange Bazalonia aberration, have only managed to win by a single goal when the Lord has blessed us with victory. I would conjure up a scriptural reading here to try and assign this with some significance, but let us perhaps just accept the Lord's will, and get on with it. So long as Sqournshelous refuse to drop points, we won't win this group, but let us also accept that we're not doing that badly either. The playoffs are still in sight.

Yours in Christ

The Monastic Football Association +

Jeruselem Music Today!

Two Jacintas launch cover song!

Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas and World Cup 40 player Jacinta Jane Sallad launched their debut single today. Jacinta Dallas and her look-alike Sallad counterpart launched their version of the Ace of Base song Tokyo Girl. Their version is Jeru Girl.

The Dallas and Sallad girls are big ABBA and Ace of Base fans.

The new single hits the retail shelves tomorrow and demand is expected to be hot. The video also features the two Jacinta girls with music mixed DJ Jazzy who works in Dazza Dallas's night clubs. The record company is Razzle Media, a Dallas business.

Critics expected the single to quite awful but most said the two Jacintas are quite talented vocalists. Combined with their supermodel looks, the single should have no trouble selling. Dallas fans have already flooded pre-bookings and the first day of sale is expected to be a sell-out.

The video does have guest appearance by Kate Sallad, Kate Dallas and Dazza Dallas in a non-singing role. It's not easy to work out who is who in the video as all those three look so similiar. Look for other female World Cup 40 football players in the video clip too, who were dragged in as good looking extras. Ninja girl Dazzi also makes an appearance too.

Jacinta Dallas's partner Flak Sho said
"Jacinta worked hard to get this right. She's always wanted to be a professional singer but doesn't have the time really. She really enjoyed this experience. I think she's planning to an ABBA cover next, err ... Money Money Money I think. "

The single will be released in Franco-phile nations first where the Dallas girls have built up a following among teenage girls. Members of the Dallas and Daughters Fan Club International can show their membership cards to retailers to get discount on the single.

Proud mothers Dazza Dallas and Mary Sallad said
"We don't know where they get the singing talent from. It wasn't us."

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

Qazox lost to Krytenia in a hard fought match in Starblaydia, 1-2 earlier tonight. Despite the loss, the team feels prepared for the re-match with Az-cz, which starts the second half of the qualifiers.

SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia L 1-2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. Kickoff time: 13:45 QST. QPSN (and other international broadcasts)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. Kickoff time: 19:40 QST. QSPN
G8: @ Scotchpineistan (Location and time: TBD) QSPN2
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. Kickoff time: 14:50 QST. QSPN2
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) Kickoff time: 18:00 local (17:30 QST) QSPN

KENNETH: Halfway through qualifying, the Dancougar Black Wings have opted not to schedule any friendlies. Rather, the team is taking the time to rest up. Most players, after all, have been pulling double duty with their college teams, and with the regular season complete, many are now gearing up for the spring tournament, even as qualifying really heats up. Steve Teebone has been with the team during the break, and he joins us now. Steve, the road to the World Cup is almost certainly going to be through the playoffs for the Black Wings, assuming they even manage to finish in third. What do they need to overcome to do this?

STEVE: Well, they jump right into the fire against Cafundeu, in the Obelisco Monumental is Lasft. Two hundred thousand rabid fans are all going to want to see the team exact revenge on the Wings for that opening day win, and I don't see why they can't get it. As well as Dancougar have played in their first two road matches, a win and a draw, I don't think that a repeat of the opener is in the cards. Not against this team, and not in that stadium. Not that they're not going to play hard. I spoke with Charles DuPont, and this is what he had to say.

CHARLES (pre-recorded tape): There's no reason to think we absolutely can't win. Definitely not. The talent is there. When you're playing international football at this level, you already have the tools you need, it's up to the team which uses them best. You get ninety minutes to work with, and at the end of the day, you take away the points you deserve. Some players have good days, some have bad, and that's all reflected in the final scoreline.

STEVE: The Black Wings should be able to handle Krasslor and Hopeful SC at home, but against Quakmybush and Gweridijongya on the road, the Wings will have to summon a little bit extra in order to compete for points.

KENNETH: The offense has been playing a lot better; they haven't been shut out yet, and averaging two goals a game. Some people are saying Furuya should come in as a third striker, and switch the team up to a 3-4-3. Is DuPont considering that, or how likely is it that we could see it happen?

STEVE: I don't think he's going to change anything, although perhaps it might not be a bad idea to get back to the fundamentals. Five of those ten, mind you, were in that explosion against Cafundeu. Since then, they've been scoring goals regularly, but the defense has let them down. If anything, they should put a little more focus on defense. They have exceptional speed at the back with Yamada and Weatherford, and Barclay has been providing some real experienced marking. But the young guys next to him, they've been letting guys get through, and the midfield has been slow to react at times. I'd rather see a 4-4-2 again, although DuPont is committed to that midfield, he wants them ready for anything and everything.

KENNETH: Steve Teebone at Black Wing camp, thanks for that. So no friendlies for the Wings, but fans of the beautiful game were still treated to some mid-qualifying friendly action. Kosovoe and Pratzkoy played to a 0-0 draw in a sold-out National Stadium, notable as the first game between two foreign teams on Dancougar soil.

*******************************************

Foreign fans had filled the Black Square and were making their way towards the stadium. Billed as the first matchup of foreign teams in Dancougar, Pratzkoy and Kosovoe were even drawing a substantial turnout of Dancougarans, despite the unknown quality of the teams. Football was football, after all, and the FA would've have bothered to organize the match if they didn't think there was something to it.

"Pssh, this isn't going to tell us anything," Peter mumbled, as they watched the crowd stream past. "Pratzkoy? What the hell is a Pratzkoy?"

"They're affiliated with Daehanjeiguk in some way," Russ replied, sipping a coffee.

"We don't even know if 'Hand of Han' means they're foreign agents, or just some nut jobs posing as them," Peter said.

"And even if they were, what better way to keep up appearances than by showing up at a match like this?" asked Russ. "They could provoke the governments into open conflict." He looked at his cup and frowned. "Those relations could get naturally strained, anyway. The FA is really playing favorites with Southern Northland, and the king really admires Sheridan and O'Bagels for their toughness and good nature."

"Oh man, that's right, the friendly! Ben O'Bagels!" exclaimed Peter. "We definitely need to get those power armors back so we can fight him... err, play football."

Something caught their eye. One fan in the street was being asked by a policeman to take off his backpack for inspection. A red one. The man seemed to be hesitant, even though other fans were allowing security to do their job. Fans traveling to Dancougar were told that this was standard procedure, and the first bomb had really rattled the FA and security force.

Russ and Peter nodded to each other and walked over. "We'll take it from here, sir," Russ told the cop. He and Peter both showed him their badges. "Department of Recreation and Sport Safety, division six." A look of panic flashed across the fan's eyes. In a flash, he had pushed away from the three and had gone running in the other direction. "Hey, HEY!" yelled Russ. He and Peter gave chase. "Dammit, HEY, STOP!!"

They tried forcing their way through the crowd. The red pack was an easy target to key on. Eventually, they made their way out of the square and into the city streets. "Is this guy for real?!" coughed Peter.

"Just get him before he does anything!" yelled Russ. They were still in the city center, and the traffic was thick. The man leaped onto the hood of a car and bounced off. He weaved through two other cars and onto the opposite sidewalk, where he turned and ran for the corner. Russ and Peter ran parallel to him from across the opposite sidewalk. As soon as they got to an intersection, they made a mad dash across. The fan looked their way and immediately turned right.

The chase continued. The fan came across an outdoor cafe and stopped to turn over cables and chairs. He pushed a waiter backwards into the storefront, spilling his drinks all over the sidewalk. Russ and Peter jumped over the obstacles and continued on. The man ran across another city intersection. Cars beeped as they swerved or hit the brakes to avoid colliding with him. A pileup ensued. But they couldn't let the man get away. With cars sliding all around them, they weaved around the wreckage.

Finally, the man turned down an alley and looked for a way out. There was a fire escape ladder dangling close to the ground. He jumped, but couldn't reach. His backpack was too heavy. Huffing and puffing, Russ and Peter rounded the corner and found the man pinned. "End of the line!" Russ shouted. "Take it off, give it here!"

The man took his backpack and held it in front of him. He placed his hand on the zipper. "I'll set it off," he growled. "Right here."

"You didn't do it back there, you won't do it here," Peter replied, taking a step closer. "You're not very good at this, are you? Who are you guys? What are you after?"

The man frowned and undid the zipper. "Fujiko-chan... arigato..." Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Shhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......!!!!" Russ and Peter turned and ran, diving out of the alley opening just as the pack exploded. Cries went up from other people on the street. Car alarms went off as the blast send debris from the adjacent buildings flying out into the street.

Bazalopes on Top; Tynelia nipping at heels.

At the end of the end of the first regulation leg Bazalopes are sitting in top spot in group 6, the Tynelians are right there with them a mere 1 point away. The Bazalopes hold on group 6 is very shaky but there is no serious competition to take them out of contention for the top 3. Kose and the Turkomans requiring 5 more ponts than the Bazalopes to do that.

Meanwhile the Bazalopes seemed to face divine retribution in the form of Monks from the Archregimancy. A match that was the result of a communication between the IACOB and BFSA which resulted in a letter being sent to the MFA. Whic resulted in the selection of quite a substandard pitch, for the Bazalonians anyway. The Monks used to the "peaceful field" for thei home-games managed to make use of the facilities while the Bazalonians just crumbled at home in a humiliating defeat. The solace the team has is that it wasn't an official match.

Officials inside the BFSA, according to a spokesperson are "looking at the quality of more regional and rural stadia, and factors in the loss."

~~~

"Damnit, you've really boned this one up, we're done for!" the Bos said

~~~

Later that week newspapers were splashed with the headline. "Kelly Mob Links!"

The articles detailed the connection with the mob and suspicions about a number of happenings during the cup. The BFSA are said to be "completing the investigation, and no actions will be taken until such investigations have been finished."

How the world will respond is anyones guess

New Manager Announced
With Hakan Izmir now stepping down, a Yaforite manager has been appointed, Keron Alhrem who had his first press conference today, "I am looking to play the possession game, or to put it simply, if we have the ball they can't score." He said putting forward some tactical vision "Also the key to the teams success is the defense, so we will no longer be playing the standard 4-4-2 instead I feel 5 at the back and one up front will do." When asked on how he would deal with the 'Passionate' fans he said "If they get out of hand" He said calmly "I will rise above it after all I have the experience to do so." He then went on to his coaching style "I feel, that if I talk one on one with players that they perform far better for me, because when you coach you need to be one of the 'guys'."

Kose Happy at new manager
Sinan Kose said after meeting his new manager he felt a sudden burst of confidence in the team and in himself. The prolific goal scorer has said that the Yaforite Alhrem's styles complimented that of his team Sultanli Fc and it made feel like he had less to worry about in the terms of qualification attempts.

Good Luck Alhrem says Izmir
Hakan Izmir has said that he hopes that Alhrem has the luck of the evil eye as he becomes the new manager. Izmir, Who is a shoe in to become assistant manager has said that "I hope that he guides this team well, he is experienced and well studied in the art of management." Alhrems first game is against group leaders Bazalonia, perhaps this new way to play will reignite team spirit?

(OOC: Change my formation to 5-4-1 with a modifier of +1 from now on.)

THE ROCKET REPORT

NEWMANISTAN MID-QUALIFYING REPORT CARD

Compiled by a collection of the Empire’s top journalists

GK: Kevin Dalton- Kevin has been hit and miss. No one likes to give up seven goals, but the way Milchama is scoring, you can give him perhaps, somewhat of a pass for that. The tough effort of his to swallow, was the performance against Eighthgraderistan. No one should blame Dalton for the fact the Rockets only have four points, but we have seen better. Grade: C.

CB: Jeremy Brooker- The young Brooker has been solid. He actually had a very strong performance against Kura-Pelland in the opener. Only the Milchama game was a tough one for him, but even that he handled well. In some aspects, Brooker may be the Rockets best player of qualifying. Grade: A-

CB: Nate Stratton- It is anticipated that Brian Carson may be about to pull Stratton from the starting lineup. The fact that he was beat on Lithima’s goal pretty badly did not help his cause, and he did not look good against Eighthgraderistan. Do not be surprised to see either Tony Borsinger or Mitch Conrad starting in this spot when Kura-Pelland comes to town. Borsinger would be the obvious choice given the game is at Tundra Falls and Tony plays for Tundra Falls. Grade: D.

CB: Eddie Chapman: Chapman’s been the leader in the defensive end, and in our opinion has shown that he can play with the world’s elite. Milchama overpowered him a little bit, but that’s always been the one flaw of Eddie’s game. Can’t really knock him too much. Grade: B.

CB: Mark McCafferty: Mark has been a little disappointing thus far in qualifying, but still seems to be worthy of maintain his starting spot. He has had a harder time then usual connecting with his midfielders upfield, and that has led to several turnovers back to the opposition. He’s capable of doing better. Grade: C-

MID: Chris Peterson: The speed of Chris Peterson, one of the greatest two-way midfielders to ever play in Newmanistan was supposed to be a big advantage for the Rockets. Unfortunately, Chris has strangely seemed to fold under the pressure, and hasn’t played particularly well either offensively or defensively. This is a hard person for Brian Carson to take out of the lineup, but don’t be surprised to see either Steve Boland start, or perhaps the added striker dimension of Shawn Drummond. Grade: D.

MID: Kevin Carrigan: Kevin has scored one goal in the competition, and has done a pretty good job on the corner kicks. He hasn’t been quite as brilliant as he was in the Baptism of Fire, but he’s been sharp, and should continue to play well. Grade: B+.

MID: Brett Prescott: When we did our mid-Baptism of Fire ratings, we got on Prescott’s case a little bit for not being the kind of physical and very aggressive player we’re used to him being. In the second half of that competition, Prescott answered the call. Well, Brett, do it again. Become a presence! Grade: C-.

ST: John Murphy: Murphy became the first ever goal scorer in Newmanistan’s global footballing history, and he also was the one who kept us from losing to Lithima, and not just drawing with them. In order for Murphy to play to his full potential, others have to create his opportunities. That’s happened to a point. Overall, Murphy has been what should have been fairly expected. Grade: A-.

ST: Kevin Lewis: It’s a good thing that Lewis has two goals in this tournament, one against Milchama and the other against Eighthgraderistan, or else their could be some legitimate questions about him. He hasn’t done enough in the attacking third. His performance against Lithima and Eighthgraderistan (even though he did get the goal in the latter), really left a lot to be desired. Since he is the captain, we want to see him pick it up. Grade: C.

ST: Jeremy McAllister: It took McAllister a little while to get going, but he game off a dreadful display of shooting against Lithima to score two goals in the Rockets lone win, that being against Kelssek. We thought he did a pretty good job against Eighthgraderistan, but perhaps maybe he could have done a little more. Grade: B-.

SUBS AND RESERVES THAT HAVE SEEN PLAYING TIME

CB: Tony Borsinger: Borsinger was used late in the Milchama debacle, and then late in the game against Lithima. It’s a little hard to grade him on the first game, but against Lithima, he did a very good job of ensuring that the little known nation would not get a second goal. Grade: B.

MID: Steve Boland: Surprisingly, Boland has been used in all five games, spelling Prescott twice, Carrigan once, and Peterson twice. His addition has been mainly to be used as a spark, and I’m not really sure if he has been too successful at that. He’ll get more playing time, though. Grade: C+.

ST: Shawn Drummond: Drummond has also been used in all five matches, as the Rockets “super sub” hoping to use his speed off the bench. So far, the super sub has been scoreless, and really not much of a factor in any of the games. That’s a little disappointing, really. Grade: C-.

MID: Julie McElroy: Julie got one opportunity, and it came against Lithima. Not much really happened of note, so we can’t really give her a grade fairly. Grade: Inc.
==============================================

For those who care:
-- We will be going from a +2 to a +4 style modifier for the remainder of qualifying.
-- Stratton will indeed be pulled from the starting lineup to be replaced by Tony Borsinger.

The Enlightener: the fat just walks away
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.png

Aroras Shut Out By Gnomes

Az-cz.........................2 (Kenyon 37, Cro-Mg 54)
Bettia.........................0

After a brief lull in the proceedings, the regular friendly fixture oft-played between Bettia and Az-cz was revived here at Burlock Castle, the scene of their historic World Cup 33 final clash which saw the Aroras claim their first championship. This time however, it was the Az-czzers who were to come out on top thanks to two goals either side of half-time in a game which could have easily finished ten apiece.

Both sides fielded strong teams, but also took the opportunity to give some of their fringe players a place in the starting lineup. The home side went on the attack straight from the off, forcing an early corner which was almost turned into his own net by Billy Barkley. Az-cz captain Jorge Shockey found himself a bit of space a couple of minutes after that, but he hit a tame shot straight at a grateful Hassan bin Jaffar in the Bettian goal.

After that inital flurry, Bettia found their footing and started to string a few moves of their own together. Youngsters Mick Catlin and Stuart Bapty showed just why they are considered such hot prospects, combining well in the 21st minute in a manner reminiscent of the Busilanta brothers themselves before Bapty's rasping shot was fingertipped around the post by Haz-Tp. From the resulting corner, hulking 15-footer Ziiaq sent a thumping header smacking off the top of the crossbar with the keeper well beaten.

After a ten minute spell of end-to-end football, the home side could count themselves very unlucky not have gone ahead after Kenyon's shot span off Jaffar's hands and appeared to be bouncing into an empty net. Unfortunately for him, Stuart Thompson made a herculean effort to get back and prevent the ball trickling over the line, and he was able to clear it despite the close attentions of El-Iot. However, Kenyon was not to be denied and the Bettian-born striker was first to pounce on 37 minutes after Hassan bin Jaffar was only able to parry El-Iot's shot, sidefooting the ball into the goal before the Bettian keeper could scramble over to reach it.

Bettia had an excellent chance to equalise just before half-time after Hu-35 was ajudged to have handled the ball just inside his area. Spotting Haz-Tp venturing just off his line to bark out some orders to his defence, Ziiaq sent a looping high ball towards the goal. Unfortunately for the Bettian Ifrit, a backtracking Haz-Tp was just about able to make up the ground and tip the ball over the post.

The half-time break came and went, and the game continued at the same fast, almost breathtaking pace. After chances fell to both sides early in the half, Az-cz extended their lead from a neat training ground routine after Kenyon's long-range shot was deflected wide off Barkley's leg. After a short one-two between Shockey and Byrd, the captain sent a long cross into the box, bypassing the crowd in the goal area to find Youn Ji-Hyun lurking on the far side, who then teed up Cro-Mg on the edge of the box to blast the ball into the top corner.

Buoyed by doubling their advantage, Az-cz looked to extend their lead further, bossing the game for the best part of twenty minutes although without creating many chances. However, it was Bettia who very nearly scored the next goal on 78 minutes, and quite against the run of play. After the home team's sixth corner of the game was easily caught by Jaffar, the Bettian goalkeeper quickly sent a long throw out to Justin Muhammad on the left wing. The pacy Butetown Dragons player sped down the flank, leaving two of his markers in his wake before sending a low cross into the area for Brian Hool to collect. As he attempted to shield the ball from Lo-Rdr, the defender's enthusiasm seemed to get the better of him and the striker was unceremoniously shoved to the floor. Luckily for the full-back, the referee declined to book him, seeing the foul as a spot of over-exuberance rather than anything malicious. Brian Hool dusted himself off, placed the ball, and promptly sent the ball low and out of the keeper's reach. Unfortunately for the travelling faithful, the ball was a little too wide and crashed against the foot of the post.

Despite a couple of chances at either end, the scoreline remained the same - Az-cz beating Bettia by two goals to nil - but even with no goals scored and no points gained, there were certainly more positives than negatives to take from this game with many of the fringe players taking their opportunity to show just how well they can perform at the highest level. With Group Three as tight as it is and with an important game against Septentrionia looming large, the team's managers will be hoping the resolute defending and quick counter-attacking shown today will be continued into the rest of the World Cup campaign.

Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT................VENUE...RESULT (SCORERS)

Qualifying Group 3

01: Septentrionia...........HOME....L 1-2 (Ziiaq)
02: East Antairees..........Away....W 3-1 (Al-Sikamaya 2, Taha)
03: Candelaria And Marquez..HOME....W 3-0 (Ziiaq, Rhys, Taha)
04: NS Illegal Immigrants...Away....W 9-1 (Rhys 2, Taha 2, Al-Sikamaya, Cirebon, Bapty, Hool, Mury)
05: Lovisa..................HOME....D 2-2
FR: Az-cz...................Away....L 0-2
06: Septentrionia...........Away....
07: East Antairees..........HOME....
08: Candelaria And Marquez..Away....
09: NS Illegal Immigrants...HOME....
10: Lovisa..................Away....

http://www.islandsdaily.co.ad/sport/blog/wc40q/thriller_exposes_poor_defending
Thriller exposes poor defending
Posted 7:10 am, day after friendly by Davey Thomson

My thanks once again to Luke Evans for covering for me. I was away covering Olympique Protectorat's appearance in the final of the TakilQuip Champions Cup, which they lost 8-9 on penalty kicks after a strong showing over 120 minutes. Penalties are always a harsh way to decide a match, let alone a cup final, and I feel for the lads.

Yesterday's friendly away in Elves Security Forces in Valanora was quite the cracker, wasn't it? Nine goals to savour, but the four goals we conceded has made something we've known for quite a while now blatantly obvious: we need a better defence.

Ben Ropes got another look in yesterday but once again he proved Hollow's original decision to drop him right, conceding four goals. Kenneth Quinn at left-back has been having a torrid time recently and it might be time to finally drop him. Justin Stenstrom played yesterday in place of Jed Fisher at centre-half but wasn't much better than the man he replaced.

John Bristow again started on the right and did fairly well but I'd expect him to move back to left back to replace Quinn for the Wentland match, with Jeff Dustin coming into the right.

Up front everything seems to be gelling together nicely, however, with Francis Yang, Julian D'Abbo and James McDonald each getting a goal and Anthony Jones finally showing what he's capable of with two stunning goals. If they can keep this up we should not face the problems we did in the first half of qualifying.

Permalink | Trackback | View comments for this post (0)

THE NETHERTOPIAN SPORTSTIMES

Halfway through: Time for some expectations and recaps
Peregrinus City - The qualifiers are halfway through and The Federation of Nethertopia is currently holding the fifth place in the pool. We're looking back and forward with Peregrins coach Sjors Opdeheuvel.
Sjors, what do you think about the Falcons yet?
"Well, it seems that they're on their way to just being pipped out of the championship. They've tied four out of five matches and that's incredible. The draws against Az-cz and Qazox were amazing but tieing against opponents like Iansisle is unacceptable in my eyes. The difference between Scotspinestan and us is only three points. It's fairly possible to take over their position, but Green Wombat is the opponent to look at."
How come?
"They're far more involved in this cup if you ask me. But we'll see what will happen at the end."
The two unexpected ties against the top two teams were indeed surprising. Do you think we can repeat those stunts?
"Well, i'm not sure. The draws should've given the teams some confidence but Az-cz and Qazox belong to the world's best. We're all hoping that Kietecs and his squad can preform against those top seeders. Soro gives the team hope, scoring two goals in the last two matches and Souleymane Diakité is on fire as well, finding the net against both two top teams."
It seems that we're ready for play-offs, then.
Yeah. But let's first try to get as far as that. Personally i think we will become fourth in this poule, missing the WC on just one point.
Sjors, thanks for the interview and goodbye.
"No problem. Good luck with your newspaper."

Sinan Kose content to stay in country?
Tenderville - After a private offer from The Peregrins to land K&TT star Sinan Kose for $29,000,000,- he told the club that his decision for a new club would fall around these days. As the Nethertopian A-League will start soon the two top clubs from Nethertopia (with Tenderville United being the other club with a $25,000,000,- offer) offering for the player are eager for his answer. However, there is a big chance that The Loudon Leopards are beating the two NA-L teams with a $28,000,00,- bid. More of this will probably be read in K&TT newspapers.

Some Nethertopian stats:
Scores so far:
Pre Friendly: Nethertopia 0-0 Kose & The Turkomans
Matchday one: Scotchpinestan 2-2 Nethertopia
Matchday two: Green Wombat 1-0 Nethertopia
Matchday three: Nethertopia 0-0 Iansisle
Matchday four: Nethertopia 1-1 Qazox
Matchday five: Az-cz 2-2 Nethertopia
Mid Friendly: Nethertopia 1-1 Acapais

Top goalscorers, tournament:
1) Abdoulaye Soro 3
2) Souleymane Diakité 2

Top goalscorers, all times:
1) Abdoulaye Soro 24
2) Souleymane Diakité 7
3) Kingsley Kalu 5
4) [five players with one goal]

The Nationstates Inquisition: Yafalonia and Bazor 2

Now with more essential inks and roughage!

Now that we have dealt with perhaps the fundamentals of Yafalonia & Bazor 2 it’s now time to look at some more detail, and with detail for us. That means yep, it’s time to look into some of the major cities. Oh, and if you happen to see a thing about 1m in a cube shape. Yeah, I left that on the train so could you please ring our offices. That would be if I could find our telephone number.

CAPITAL CITIES!

Ferrywind Landing – A magnificently large city constructed entirely out of marble (except windows of course which are glass) Everything from the streets to the tallest skyscraper. The city would be a terrible eyesore in the morning and evening with all that gleaming marble if it wasn’t for the fact that the marble is all grotty and dirty. The city is known as “The White City” though perhaps “The Spotchy City” is more accurate

Camp Firedown – What used to be a major military base burnt down to the ground, however instead of worrying about re-building the base, they built a city on the ashes on the old site. One major thing to note is that the city is mainly constructed out of wood and spread out over a large area. And Fires of all sorts (including anything with gas) are illegal.

MAJOR CITIES

Old Blue Breeze – Known as the centre of a major Dairy area, Old Blue Breeze is known for the cheeses that it produces. Some of which are actually somewhat edible. However it is also worthy of note that hitting someone with a chunk of the area’s cheese’s are considered to be an ‘assault with a deadly weapon’

Wilddon – The Forrest city… Oh, sorry, I meant Forest city. It’s totally surrounded by dense woodland and there are trees everywhere in the city. There are also a number of occasions where a tree grows through the middle of a house or other building. When this occurs the tree is usually made into a living staircase with the inhabitants pretending that “it was meant to be like that”

Hollybottom – In a huge praire, you either see the ocean, the city , or the long praire with perhaps a faint outline of something else in the distance when it’s amazingly clear. It’s known for it’s bountiful supply of grass.

Runeshire – A city built on the ruins of an ancient city that once stood exactly where that one stood, full of mysterious artifacts, ruins and curiosities of an era now gone. Runeshire is the closest thing that Yafalonia and Bazor 2 have to a real history.

Gantrickvale – Used to actually be a village which successfully used Viral marketing techniques and actually absorbed the many other villages in the area. Gantrickvale now is an amalgam of 3 villages and 2 towns, it’s a major city in it’s own right as it now has a CBD somewhere in the midst of all that.

Hali River Valley – A city with a major river running through the middle out into the ocean and it’s this river that makes Hali River Valley so unique in the Hali River, a unique type of stone is found called the Hali, it’s the only known source of Hali known in the world, and if they ever found Hali’s to be useful these guys would be sitting on a gold mine.

Monk’s Bybottom – Perhaps the most single religious city in Yafalonia & Bazor 2, perhaps even the region, or the world. Monk’s Bybottom is home to every religion known to man and many that aren’t. If you ask about how the City got it’s name you’ll either get someone embarrassed or get told “We don’t speak about that”. Continued pestering usually involves punishment with some sort of religious ceremony.

Icetol – A bunch of Random letters from Alphabet Cereal I C E T O L gave the city it’s name. That and a huge underground network of caves that were later turned into tunnels. The tunnels however serve no good purpose and only act to undermine structural integrity of buildings in the city. OH one other item of note, the Alphabet Cereal Factory is also located here.

In sports related news, some friendly was played with Yafor 2… results got garbled but I think we won 30-1

THE EMPIRE TIMES

EAGLES READY FOR RETURN LEGS
Williams Injured for Next Match

With half of the first stage of the qualifiers over the Eagles have found themselves in a good position going into the return legs of the qualifiers. The Eagles are in third place six points behind Valarona, who has always been expected to finish top of the table, the Empire is still an entire game behind Bostopia which they must ensure they beat if they are to secure a place in the second qualifying stage. The team is also heavily followed by both Agroprom and Solenial who are one and two points behind them respectively and so must play with more enthusiasm and drive during the coming matches. Manager Baron Johnathon Konjac has said "We are confident that we will go through to the second stage of the finals, and these games coming up will be a challenge but I am confident that the team will play strongly".

The team have been busily preparing for the next game against Bostopia, the team will be looking for a win after losing to them 4-2 away will be determined to get the much needed three points in front of a sell out crowd. The team did not relax over the short break but instead based themselves in Braxon and concentrated on training for the coming match.

There was a major setback during this time with Anthony Williams pulling a groin during yesterdays evening practice being helped off the field and into the medical department unable to complete the session. Team Physio and Chief Medical Officer Dr. Bradly Holdings reported that Williams will be unable to play tomorrow night but will make a quick recovery and be available to play for match day nine. Baron Konjac has decided to put on Martin Fox in Williams place, while Fox has only played in one game this round he was a starter during the 39th world cup qualifiers and in the 5th Di Brandi Cup. Vice Captain Sam Kiamar will be appointed Captain for the match with Alex Burner as Vice Captain.

The National Reporter Online: News with a View
Big Blues break the Law

Iain Miller writes. O!, there’s nothing better than stopping one of your key rival’s return to form dead in its tracks. Under the new Bedistani coach Peter Law, the Vephrese had won 6-0 and were looking to get back into qualification contention in their next competitive game away in Zwangzug. Before then, a couple of nice little friendlies would keep things ticking over, but they probably weren’t expecting to go down three-one – and it would not be immodest to suggest that but for the Eesseffian-based goalkeeper Phootid Rilin and a certain Avilass Gackbang it could have been rather worse for the visitors. Make no mistake – losing by a couple of goals to a Candelariasian first-point-five team won’t go down too well back home.

It was a cracking atmosphere at the EAN with an unusually high number of away supporters, especially for a supposedly meaningless friendly (Speilers or Meice to Trilan, Trilan to Albrecht, Albrecht across the estrecho innomado to Arrigo… simple), and there was plenty of affection towards the Arrigo Portuguese defender Gackbang (even if the Hueva have been woefully inconsistent so far this season) from the locals. The Clotaire-born third-generation Candelariasian-Vephrese tenor, mobile phone salesman and C&M’s Got Talent finalist Matthew Ceedast belted out the anthems, the sun was shining and all was right with the world.

And then the Vephrese scored within five minutes, which wasn’t really part of the script; Cothasat Sperobis crossing from the left and Einy Solivasas – left completely unmarked by Tom Redway who was clearly still shaken from Port of Clotaire’s five-two league defeat at neighbours Radyukevich earlier in the week – wandered up from his midfield place and calmly knocked home past Ozzy Stefano.

Redway soon atoned for his sin by becoming the unlikely scorer of the equaliser, after Rex Sandstrom had won a corner off Pembace Pinteps. O’Sullivan Caras, the only survivor from the very first time these two international teams met back in the pre-World Cup 36 Baptism of Fire’s last sixteen, delivered and with Pinteps being dragged back by Harris Dixon, Redway was able to rise unopposed to nod in a rare goal.

With the Vephrese looking to impress their new boss and C&M sporting several players seeking to earn more regular starts, it was a gratifyingly open friendly and both sides created more chances in the first half. The visitors’ main problem was a lack of width, and on forty they were punished decisively by Adlai Dobson – the Gamboa winger looking to keep Alessio Montano out of the side permanently – who won the ball cleanly off Jehoepe Pasarap and delivered a cross into the box onto which Sandstrom ran and side-footed past Rilin.

The Big Blues turned the screw early in the second half, with Rilin twice forced to turn over Ramiro Novo shots. What the Parwood City forward still has to prove to Lloyd Donnelly in a friendly like this is anyone’s guess, and he was soon withdrawn for Rául Vélez. On fifty-six minutes the new arrival set up Caras for C&M’s third, in a move that showed off the Green Island forward’s midfield ability – which may well be needed again in this campaign as We Shall See. Caras himself then gave way to William Burgos, with Donnelly eager to try out the América wing-back farther up the pitch.

That plan was over after barely four minutes following a striker’s tackle by Soscren Pranasik on the right-back Dixon. Pranasik wasn’t even yellow carded – the Newmanistanian Jason McElroy generously attempting to play to the spirit of the game’s friendly status despite Dixon’s subsequent injury – which didn’t go down particularly well on the C&M bench. Cue a slightly camp eyeballing session between assistant manager Mick Lugo and Vephrese back-room man Menburid Umsaasad, which resulted in both men being sent to the stands.

Donnelly reshuffled with José Felipe Cassumba Domingos moving out to the right and Matteo Corradini joining Connor Mengucci in the centre of the midfield, and the game progressed pleasantly enough to its conclusion; with only Rilin’s save from Dobson’s attempted lob and Pranasik hitting Stefano’s left upright lighting up the final twenty minutes.

But which of Law and Donnelly really had the best week, when the dust settled? For the Bedistani was soon back in Vephrall and beating the mighty Cafundelense by the same scoreline, while the C&M manager was left to relax and watch TV2’s Saturday morning game between the El din Marbles and Marquez-Onwere with horror, as the former Kura-Pellandi amateur boxer Larry Torrell-Whyte went in on Cassumba Domingos, broke his ankle, and put the step-overy star out for the remainder of our qualifying games at the very least.

The Vircais Entente will always get you in the end…

Friendly International
@ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo, Marquez

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/candelaria_and_marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez 3
Redway 22, Sandstrom 40, Caras 56

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/vephrall.png Vephrall 1
Solivasas 4

______________

And David came to his house at Jerusalem; and the king took the ten women his concubines, whom he had left to keep the house, and put them in ward, and provided them with sustenance, but went not in unto them. So they were shut up unto the day of their death, living as widows.
2nd Samuel 20:3


“…amed locally as Ella Karlsson, who was described by her headmaster Michael Tuccella as a popular, hard-working student, a committed churchgoer and member of the Parry Head High School chess club. Police are still investigating the circumstances surrounding Ella’s death, however at the current time no-one else is being sought in connection with the incident. Neighbours have told Radio One that in recent times the teenager had become uncharacteristically outgoing, and had appeared to put struggles with coursework and family life earlier in the year behind her. A memorial service will be held early next week.

“Robyn Morton has accused President Anderson and Environment Secretary Warren Benamara of failing to live up to pre-elections promises to tackle illegal Rushmori whaling in Candelariasian waters today, after thr–”

Sukie switched off the radio as the little car drew up in a nondescript street in Gordon Bay City, before getting out, locking the doors and making her way to the middle of the road, removing a manhole cover. Within moments she had slipped down into the town’s seamy underworld, or the sewer system at any rate. Of course, as sewers went these were uniquely pleasant. They had Wallace & Gromit wallpaper, and portraits of obscure Prime Ministers, for one thing. And those mallards going up diagonally. And they smelt strangely of mothballs.

Soooo… Another one. Just another teenage suicide. Absolutely, not in any way, connected to a strikingly similar one over the other side of town. And completely, not in the least, related to the death of a Candelariasian-Northlandish drugs mule down in the capital.

When you put it like that the police’s denial seemed perfectly reasonable, and perhaps it was. But she couldn’t shake the facts out of her head just like that. Radio One hadn’t mentioned it, but before that the RadioZeroAlvery news bulletin had specifically mentioned that young Ella had been found with several broken limbs and a shattered pelvis. It was, in Sukie’s experience, kind of hard to do that with a cup of bleach.

In months past she’d have just left it there, hanging unanswered, but life was different now. Performing an autopsy on a gnome, before seeing an elf and a C&M football manager disappear out of existence in a cloud of yellow, rather changed one’s perspective on Things. That had been before she had briefly destroyed commonly recognised reality and replaced it with a strange past/present/future hybrid, before undoing that, only to find out that in fact was she was supposed to have done was just sit and wait for the Devices – ancient green orbs that could warp time and space, and sounded uncannily like Patrick Stewart in case they ever made a movie version of all this – to sort things out and send her back to her proper reality and leave President Samuel Fu’s new multi-speciesial C&M to prosper on another plain of existence.

Unfortunately, the original Device at the Ministry for Rational Thought had done rather too good a job at wiping parts of her recent memory, such as the bid where Lyndon Hernández et al had actually told her what she was supposed to do. Or, for that matter, the bit where they’d told her why on Earth she had been chosen to undertake this great, dangerous experiment. She still couldn’t remember, and for some reason had never attempted to find out. At any rate, she’d panicked slightly and gone and done the only thing she could think of doing at the time which involved destroying the new reality and every unique being within it.

She was still slightly pissed off about this.

She’d looked into their eyes. These had been real people with real histories and real futures, with just as much right to exist as her own. Maybe more. And she’d killed them all. Because she thought she had to, sure, but it still wasn’t a fact she slept easily with. If she slept at all, these days.

That was why Sukie had started coming here, to the oddly plush sewer system beneath the forgotten town of Gordon Bay City, where the Svartálfar lurked. Nominally they were your basic ugly-dwarfs; being usually a couple of feet tall and humanoid, if misshapen. They were shapeshifters, though hardly up to the same standard of many of their relations; being limited to occasionally turning to stone or existing as a pool of maggots. More to the point, they spoke in comforting pseudo-Geordie accents and gave you nightmares, which was just what she needed right now.

The one she thought of as wor Jackie – though in practical terms they were pretty much interchangeable – appeared like clockwork from behind a snoozing capybara.

“Canny afford, mistress Susannah…”

“Yes… I suppose so.”

“Wot are yee lookin fo’ the’da, then? Fallin doon an elevator shaft, perhaps? Yee’ve neet had yen iv those fo’ a lang time. Or bein seen in the buff in public, leek?”

Sukie sighed. This wasn’t therapy, she kept telling herself that. Or penance. But she needed to sleep; she needed to get all these whirring thoughts out of her head. The nightmares… well they were just a bonus.

“Just the usual thanks, Jackie,” she muttered, lying down on the piece of carpet supplied for this very purpose.

The creature rolled its eyes. “Yee cud gerrus somethin fair mare juicy tuh wark wi’, yee knar? Rathor than just howkin embarrassin moments from yor schyeul days…”

He clambered on top of her anyway. It was at this moment, at least twice a week lately, that Sukie had to tell herself she absolutely, definitely hadn’t resorted to using a gigolo.

“Are yee alreet, hinny?” the svart asked, staring down at her. “Yee seem fair preoccupeed.”

“No… I’ve just got things on my mind today. Just something I heard on the news…”

“That young lass, eh? Wey aye, she seemed a troubled soul.”

“You rode her?!”

The svart blushed. “Nar na! Wey, neet us personally, leek. Wuh leek tuh git yeut an’ abyeut occasionally… I’ll tell yee wot, though… It’s grim up neerth.” He winked at her.

“Shall we just get on with it…?”

“Whey aye.” He readjusted himself, bent over, and began whispering in her ear.

Kose Unconcerned on 'Mob Links'
Sinan Kose has dismissed calls in the Bazalonian press that Jonny Kelly has been using mob links saying, "All he ever wanted to do was play football" He said "And these reports are nothing more than gossip coming from old wives just because he went legitimate doesn't mean we should all judge him!" Meanwhile the FF are not so certain and have stepped up security over every aspect of the teams lives to avoid what they called "An accident" and have even kept the teams Boots under lock and key in the Royal Box until the game.

Turkmen Likes new Style of coach.
Serkan Turkmen has recently said that he is pleased by the appointment of Alhrem as Head coach as he has spoken to nearly every player on their game styles and how they fit into the team. He also said "He is extremely calm and level headed unlike anyone I've met before."

New starting XI announced.
With the change in formation comes a new Starting XI as it stands:
GK: Iskender Sukur Kazim
RB: Firat Can
CB: Uzulmez Yilmaz
CB: Sukur Saray
SW: Lefter Alp
LB: Yilmaz Aydin
RM: Sabri Gunes
CM: Ariakan Ismael
CM: Tumer Arda
LM: Serkan Turkmen
ST: Sinan Kose (C)

THE ROCKET REPORT

KURA-PELLAND TO WALK SACRED GROUND

Jennifer Murphy; Tundra Falls Sports

Tundra Falls, Newmanistan- The World Cup is full of all kinds of tradition, and also full of nations of how a strong religious influence amongst their team. For some, that influence is much greater then others. It is not the first thing that comes to mind about the Empire of Newmanistan as far as the world is concerned. But everyone has that one special place. Special, for a number of reasons. We know all about it here in Newmanistan, but perhaps others do not. That special place is the Tundra Falls Proving Grounds.

At first, Empress Jessica debated as to whether or not something as prestigious as the Proving Grounds for the World Cup because of its rich tradition. Regional competitions have been held in Pocono City, Loudon, or perhaps Dover City. Tundra Falls? No. This place was far too special for that. But eventually the Empress became convinced. Convinced because the whole intention of this World Cup thing originally was to showcase the Empire to the world. And if your going to showcase it, then go right ahead, show them the Proving Grounds. Play at the Proving Grounds.

For our fine visitors to the Empire for this match, allow to me to tell you a little bit of the rich tradition of this fabulous facility. Today, the Proving Grounds is an enormous facility, and when you take into consideration there are several facilities within one gigantic facility, it is an incredibly unique location. Adjacent to one another, a stadium for baseball, one for football (both American and the worlds football), and an arena that hosts events such as hockey and basketball. There is also a smaller field where smaller events, such as lacrosse can take place. All these venues, lined up, one after the other. But that’s just part of it. The entire circumference of the facility isn’t just a parking lot, or fast food restaurants. No, the entire circumference is a 3-mile superspeedway for stock cars, that has it’s own grandstand. Open wheel cars have their fun too, as the roads between venues can be used as a road course when nothing is going on at the internal stadiums. Yes, it is like one city all to itself. If all possible events were going on at the same time, over half a million people would be at this one place. You can be at the race, and if you’re at the right end of the track, catch the baseball too with your binoculars.

The Proving Grounds is about Newmanistan sports. The racetrack is the only thing that will be used for regional competitions. Tundra Falls, as a city, is represented in all of Newmanistan’s major sports leagues, but its uniqueness is that all high school and college sports championships are held right here. There’s always something going on, somewhere. Because of that, the Proving Grounds is just what it name applies. A chance for youth to prove themselves to the nation, the region, and perhaps, the world.

There is also history here. Tons of it. The first ever sporting event (in Newmanistan history) took place on this grounds a mere months after Newmanistan had declared its independence from a prior ruling party. It was a race of very old school cars, between Newmanistanians and drivers from the prior empire that had this has part of their land. Not only did a Newmanistanian win, but the last Newmanistan finisher beat the best finisher of the prior regime. In time, the facility grew, but there’s always been a sense that the spirits were here, watching over this sacred place, and never allowing anything bad to come of it. It is legend that those spirits is what led the Newmanistanians to dominate that race. In professional sports, Tundra Falls’ teams have always had a history of overachievement, with a dominating home record. A decade ago, Newmanistan had a domestic dispute with a nation in its region. In the regional race held here that same year, a car from that other nation was coming off of turn 4 and ready to capture the checkered flag. Suddenly, the car blew a tire and hit the wall in turn 4. The opportunistic winner was not a driver from a Newmanistan, but ironically (or maybe not so ironically), from a nation that was Newmanistan’s biggest ally in the dispute.

In short time, the Proving Grounds, will, for the first time, welcome another nation to play at its football facility. That nation, is Kura-Pelland. Fortunately for Kura-Pelland, the spirits have no reason to dislike your nation, at least not right now. Perhaps they will find a reason. If a sure scoring opportunity strangely hits the goal post, well maybe there was some kind of a supernatural force at work. But if the Kura-Pelland players come in, respect the tradition, honor it, all while feeling honored, those spirits might have another impact. After all, the reputation of the Proving Grounds is that it leads to great things for those who compete on it. Show the spirits some respect, and maybe some of that leading to great things will rub off on you in your own qualifying effort, and perhaps, beyond.

World Cup 40 Qualifiers: 3-2-0 (1)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) --- (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) --- (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) --- (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) --- (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) --- (26)HAN

국제험담
International Gossip
Case #05 - Randomness

Well, that was a boring match for anyone to watch. Basically, the two sides kicked the ball around the field, as if it were some practice. And the strikers seemed to pretend as if making goals was a bad thing. Predictably, the end result was an unthrilling 0-0 draw. No doubt Casari had good chances, but they both had good chances and wasted them all. And then I have no clue what Ioshido was thinking when he sent the B-team to Taeshan and summarily lost to a rather up and coming good side (predictably again). Fortunately, the B-team managed to beat some obscure country that everyone else seems to be beating.

And what the heck is the purpose of the B-team? It's the randomness plague, that's why.

What the heck is a "randomness plague"? It's actually quite simple; you get a long enough winning streak, and then one random day, you're just not going to be in top form, and the gods of fortune suddenly favor against you. Either that, or Bob and Margaret had a miscarriage on your baby... I mean score!!! score!!! Yes, Bob and Margaret having a miscarriage sounds about right, because not every conception is immaculate or conceived. Of course, the modern perception of the miscarriage is at something like 40% of the time, so it might not be the best analogy - unless Bob and Margaret happen to hate you.

So anyway, I've done a little inquiry on this randomness plague, and I've found out a few interesting things. Random - as it turns out - isn't very random at all. If you were to consider the mixture of a dye in water, it scatters before homogenizing into solution. You might think that the homogenization is perfect and clean, but it's actually quite random. The scattered molecules of dye scatter throughout the water in non-associative patterns, with no clear way to predict which way the molecules will end up. In fact, the clustered ball of molecules that is introduced is a random thing too; because at the root of all things, things prefer chaos to order. This is why the rock will break into pieces, but it's hard to make those pieces fit together and stay there (no using hydraulic pumps!). When the universe began, it was a singularity that exploded into billions of billions of billions of billions of billions of fragments. And as you can see, it's hard for the universe to put itself back together again (so much easier to force it apart though).

In the quest to unroot the cause of this preference, I decided to engage in a random test to see if random events are as random as random actions. In the 13th century, it was very hard to move around without cars. So people used horses. Some of these horses died, so man decided to build a wagon. But the wagon broke apart, so they built it from metal. But metal was too heavy for a horse to carry, so they built an engine to move that metal wagon. And that's basically what a car is today - a powered metal wagon. But my sister was licking a cat for pleasure when a bee stung the doctor's butt and he shrieked a bunch of words that flew out the window and landed on the nice old lady crossing the street. An airplane was flying over head when the meteor crashed into an apartment, killing a mob boss who took out a bank account for a dictionary and flagged a card. The grouchy old giraffe stood on a coin and broke its computer by singing a sonnet three times. So in the end, the ranger returned the watch and camera to the villain, who dug a hole and married a firefly.

Well, random is pretty random, but if you look at the overall story, it's not quite random at all. I hope that this has been an enlightening exploration into the unknown realm of randomness plague. If all else fails, take two aspirin and call me in the morning.


Goal Scorers
2 - Jeong Jihun
1 - Kim Daeeui, Kim Byeongji, Baek Jihun, An Pilrip, Yi Dongguk, Yi Yeongpyo, Hong Myeongbo

Kose to move to Cafundeu!
Sinan has recently expressed his delight at moving to Cafundeu outfit A.F.F and that he is excited at the prospect for playing for such a well supported club and will look forward to making an impact. He is leaving behind an ever weakening Sultanli squad after they pulled the 100% record from the first ever season. Kose has been cleared to leave the country by his father.

The national team have congratulated him on his success and held a rally for him amongst the hard core fans to get what is possibly their final glimpse of their hero.

He rejected offers from, The Peregrines, Sokojito Dosi Gyūlhabdwen and Clube Imperial.

Turkmen Jealous
Serkan Turkmen has admitted he is envious of the position Sinan Kose now holds and while he is content with PoC he is very green after seeing his massive launch into the international foray.

Serkan has celebrated with Sinan during his rally and has wished him all of the luck of the Evil Eye.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DUAS DERROTAS CAUSAM PREOCUPAÇÃO NO TIME

In the last game of the World Cup qualifiers, Cafundéu had a very important challenge against Quakmybush, which could put the Monopolists in the first place of the group, holding the automatic qualification spot at halfway point of the qualifiers. Unfortunately, the team wasn't in a good day and had a bad performance. This, added with an excellent performance of an attacker that had a big nose and played without shorts, resulted in the loss of the red-black team against the Sharks.

The first minutes of the game were very disputed, with both teams trying to advance from the midfield but stopping on the opponent's defence. It took more than half an hour for Quakmybush to score. A midfielder found the shortless attacker inside the area and crossed the ball for him to score. The big nose attacker scored two more times before the end of the first half. In the second half, Cafundéu showed good reacting power scoring twice, but a penalty in the last minutes of the game ended the Monopolists' hopes. The attacker without shorts scored again. No one could complain about the penalty, as the referee was Father Luke the Fair One, the one that never commits mistakes.

Before playing the second part of the World Cup qualifiers, the Cafundelense NT travelled to Vephrall to play against the local NT for a friendly. The game was very calm, without incidents, and the teams didn't use all the starters, at least not during all the game. The first half ended goalless, with both teams attacking few times. In the second half, Vephrall scored with Cilleng twice, curiously in the 60th and 70th minute. Carlos Magno made a great individual play and drew the game, but Pasarap guaranteed Vephrall's win with a goal... scored in the 80th minute.

First game:

CAFUNDÉU 2x4 QUAKMYBUSH

Place: Praça Maior, in Cafundó do Juta.
Attendance: 182,333 people.
Referee: Fr. Luke the Fair One (The Archregimancy).
MOTM: attacker (Quakmybush).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Lionel; Silveira, Da Silva (Carlos Magno 70'), Marcelinho (Giovanni 45') and Moreira; Flecha and Rubiano (Careca 45').
Coach: Caio Meback.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/quakmybush.png QUAKMYBUSH: no team released.

Goals:CAF: Moreira 60' , Da Silva 62'.
QKM: attacker 31'/43'/45'+/90'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

5- Flecha
3- Saulo, Moreira
2- Marcelinho, Silveira
1- Augusto César, Rubiano, Da Silva

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Second game:

VEPHRALL 3x1 CAFUNDÉU

Place: I know that it was in Vephrall.
Attendance: a bunch of people.
Referee: Salvador Necchi (Terreiro de Ogum).
MOTM: Cothasat Sperobis (Vephrall).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/vephrall.png VEPHRALL: Rilin; Pinteps, Rhoetang and Pembace (Cegeeng 65'); Sperobis, Ponten (U.Nore 80'), Fihor (Pasarap 45') and Shrifflu; Sorrah (L.Maleneds 65'), Cilleng and Thug (Hetag 45').
Coach: Parker Law.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Bartolomeu (Júlio Sampa 75'); Marcelo Rocha, Índio (Jorginho 68'), Souza and Conceição (Lionel 63'); Silveira, Da Silva (Moreira 45'), Giovanni (Marcelinho 68') and Carlos Magno; Saulo (Rubiano 63') and Careca (Flecha 45').
Coach: Caio Meback.

Goals:VPH: Cilleng 60'/70' , Pasarap 80'.
CAF: Carlos Magno 76'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Dancougar: Moisés; Vital, Augusto César, Alex and Lionel; Silveira, Da Silva, Carlos Magno and Moreira; Flecha and Rubiano.
Coach: Caio Meback.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Daveed Limbader (Milchama).

"Heta, we have problems!" The first lentine of Rejistania didn't mind her aide calling her Heta, using only the first name in informal settings was somewhat more relaxed.

"There are rather disadvantageous things to be seen in the international press."

"There are?"

"In almost all the foreign reports on the national team, the team is called rejistanian and the land they play in is called Rejistania."

"Kiuuuuuuu..." While the term Kiu can mean many things, depending on the tone, this time, it meant disgust or annoyance.

"Indeed."

"We have tried to make sure that this is KaMaRi, haven't we?"

"We did. Foreign teams and journalists should see many 'Welcome to the Republic of KaMaRi' signs. The national anthem of KaMaRi is played before the matches, not the rejistani one."

"You do realize that they sound rather... similar?"

"I know that they use the same melody, but the text is different."

"Many people outside the asene do not know rejistanian."

"Point. What do you think is the issue?"

"The WCC!"

"The World cup Committee? They list us as Rejistania... oh you mean... this makes it official."

"For these people, veee" The term ve means yes, and the tone, the unnamed aide used was one of suppressed anger.

"Hyyy veeee, I will prepare a letter to the WCC."

"This is an excellent idea!"

Later, this latter reached the WCC:
To whom it might concern,

The national team, which participates as the nation, which your organization calls Rejistania is not Rejistania, but the nation of KaMaRi (the long name is Republic of Kalimnintan-Maiju-Riandu). It would be advantageous in order to avoid confusion, to list the nation as such.

Yours sincerely,
Heta I Lanite, first lentine of the republic of Kalimnintan-Maiju-Riandu

Ritual is done in a wrong way and Orixás don't appear

"Se a cachaça é ruim ou a água não é santa, o ritual não é completo. Assim os orixás não aparecem. Qual o preço disso? Sem um guia, estamos à beira do fracasso."

How can we explain this situation? This is something that wasn't expected, or imagined. But this happened. The day before the game against Kosovoe, Pai Berto felt ill, and had to rest to be able to play the game. But there was a problem: the rituals made just before the game to call the orixás weren't made, and without team the team wouldn't have the spiritual help that would guide the team to victory. The coach Blind Magician was sleeping, and no one wanted to wake him up. Also, they didn't want to ask for Mãe Edith's help, as she would probably do something to harm the opponents. So, the only possible solution was to ask for the help of the coach assistant Íris, guided by Reclusa. This wasn't the best choice.

Íris can have some knowledge, but she lacks the spirituality necessary to make these rituals. How could she call the orixás if she can't listen to them? And Reclusa is the opposite. She is quiet, not involved directly in rituals, so she lacks experience in making rituals in the terreiros. Instead of that, she has an enourmous spiritual strength. But that was useless. While making the ritual, Íris offered the wrong brand of cachaça to the orixás, and in the game, they didn't appear to help our National Team. Without the offensive power granted by the orixás, our team could only defend well thanks to the tactics of the Blind Magician. Luckily, the opponent wasn't so strong too. A goalless draw ended being a good result for the Umbanda followers.

"It's like a Stargate," Batou Nakamura said, his arms folded across his chest.

"A what?" Alfonso Di Angelo, team captain, asked.

"Intergalactic portal sci-fi program thing," Batou said, scratching the back of his head, "on the TV, very popular. Overrated."

"Whatever," Di Angelo replied. He and his team, along with the staff, Simeone Di Bradini and newly-installed team dog, called Crush, were watching a number of Dreamed Realm engineering monks construct a portal to the Dreamed Realm. Every one was different, apparently, in design, construction and utilisation. No two portals were ever the same as no two points in time and space were ever the same, each one had to be bespoke in order to connect properly with the Dreamed Realm. This one was sort of egg-shaped, with the fatter of the two ends wedged firmly in the ground of Foundation Road, Iskara Daii's home stadium, "oh, Gods, they're blessing the bloody stones again."

"Shh," Stefan Hinkonnen said, "They'll pray for your forgiveness again if they here you mention the G-word."

"Too late," Batou replied, turning around to run his face in despair, "this time it's for your emphatic swearing, 'Fonze."

"No," Stefan said, pointing, "this is different. They're blessing the whole thing and... do you hear that?"

"Heavenly choirs," Simeone Di Bradini said, scratching Crush behind the ears to reassure him, though the dog looked perfectly happy, "you'll get used to that. Right, time to pick the away fan."

Every one of Starblaydia's clubs was represented by one lucky fan, who had won a random draw on their club websites to be entered in to another draw, to be the lucky person to represent the entire Starblaydi Away crowd. They would also have the official responsibility of looking after Crush for the duration of their visit to the Dreamed Realm. In the end the winner was Lucio de Melo, a Corinthian Spirits supporter, wearing a very, very old Starblaydi national team shirt. So old it was, it had 'Menecrates' written on the back, a Starblaydi World Cup Hall of Famer who was now into his eighties. He carried his Corinthian Spirits scarf, as well as a bag of treats for Crush.

A white-blue veil had appeared within the ovoid. A cassock-wearing monk went up to it and stuck his head through. He stepped back, fell to his knees and gave thanks in prayer, as did his colleagues. They then let it be known that it was available for use at the team's leisure, promptly disappearing through the veil to the Dreamed Realm. Probably praying on the other side, too.

"Right," Simeone said, "time to go through."

The old man stepped towards the portal, wearing his official Starblaydi Football Association blazer and tie as part of his suit. He stood a foot away from the veil, taking in the wan blue light playing across his face. He took a deep breath, held it, then took a step forward. The long grass brushed around his polished leather shoes, and he opened his eyes to the picture of a perfect woodland setting.

"I never did get used to that," he said, partly to himself.

"You pagans tend not to," came the reply, "it's about faith."

"Juan," Simeone said with a smile, greeting his old friend with a handshake, "you turn up everywhere in this realm. Omnipotence?"

"Good taxi service." Juan said it in such a way as to not give Simeone a clue as to whether it was a joke or not. "Up for the friendly?"

"Yep," Simeone replied, wishing Juan wasn't always so curt, "we even brought one man and a dog and everything. Undefeated so far in five matches, four wins and a draw."

"Friendlies." Juan reminded.

"Very true," Simeone said, looking at the grass around his feet and slipping his jacket off, "I think I'll change into my trainers."

Simeone spent the ninety minute match wandering through the glade, barely paying any attention to the game itself. When Lubii opened the scoring he only turned at the sound of the whistle. Nakamura's equaliser for two-two barely even met his notice. He simply walked through the glade, kicking a football along beside him. It got away from him for the umpteenth time and he realised he didn't have the energy to run after it. Damn these bones, he thought, wondering again if the Dreamed Realm had a Thought Police. Probably, his mind told him someone's saying a prayer for my soul as we speak.

He was right, of course.

Mid-Qualifier Analysis
Well, we're halfway through one of the shortest qualifiers in quite some time. This interesting format includes playoffs due to the low number of group matches. The group winner qualifies automatically, but the 2nd and 3rd place teams go to a playoff round to determine qualifiers. Let's take a look at our group:

Our own Sel Appa is on top with a 4-1-0 record, much better than the previous qualifiers where they did not qualify. The only draw was with Acapais. We have a 5 point lead over the next team that should project well. The team looks to continue this into the second round and can be projected to qualify or make the playoffs.

Nire and Nire is doing well with a 2-2-1 record, losing only to the Turtles. They should expect to keep this up and has a good chance of landing a playoff spot.

The Holy Empire has done disappointingly with a 1-3-1 record. They need to pick up their pace to ensure they nab a playoff spot.

The Daleks 2 is a bit of a surprise also with a 1-3-1 record. The largely unknown team hopes to keep up their strength and overtake The Holy Empire for a spot in the playoffs.

Acapais has put up a decent fight with a 1-2-2 record, drawing against us. We led a joint bid with them for the 31st Cup of Harmony that ultimately failed. The team is keeping the fight for the playoffs close in a four-way battle. They certainly have the capabilities to put it all together.

New Cimeran has a pretty dismal record with only one point. They drew with the Daleks 2 in the opening match. They don't really have any chance even for a playoff spot.

Well that's it folks. We have quite a battle to watch here as four teams fight four the two playoff spots. Sel Appa is adequately secure to at least get a playoff spot and New Cimeran has only minimal chances of that. Good luck to our Turtles and may they win the remaining five matches!

Coach Alfredo Neves was carrying a box off of "stuff" to his Jeru FC team ... he was hoping it was not another load of pr0n.

Alfredo: Someone sent us this box, apparently it's just a stack of CDs.
Team: It's obviously pr0n!
Alfredo: Is that all you guys watch? I'm going to find out anyway.

<The coach opens the box>

Alfredo:
Well, there's two girls on the cover. Not a good sign, but they are wearing clothes. Looks like that Jacinta girl. Let's see "Jeru Girl" .. oh, thank God. It's that new single by two Jacintas.

<The whole team scamble to grab a copy>

Alfredo:
God damn it, you guys and anything to do with Dallas girls. At least leave me one copy please! I am your bloody coach! Have a little respect.

<Later>

Alfredo and team are watching new video which was on the single ...

Alfredo: Well, I'm not into that music but that's pretty good. You lot look impressed but then you don't have taste in music. Anyway, how on Earth do you tell the two girls Jacintas apart?
Hans Mandebrott: The Dallas girl has bigger boobs.
Alfredo: Trust you to know that Hans.
Hans Mandebrott: And the Sallad girl is bit taller too.

Alfredo: I noticed a lot familiar faces in there.
Hans Mandebrott: Dazza Dallas was the girl in the hottub, Kate Dallas was girl at the bar, Kate Sallad was girl on the motorbike, Scarlet Ferris was the girl riding the scooter, Kara Kool was Jewish girl with flash car, Fiskin Dallas was the girl on the beach, Dazza Intern was the slut on the bed ...
Alfredo: My God, how do you know all that Hans!
Hans Mandebrott: Study coach, I study women.

Alfredo: I'd wish you lot would study football like you study women.
Hans Mandebrott: You can't look at footballs all day coach.
Alfredo: That's enough girls for the day. A hard day's training tomorrow.
Team: Yes coach!

Mid-qualifying Awards:

Best Team: Milchama (5-0-0, +25)

Unblemished record + best goal differential = no doubt who the best team is.

Others Considered: Zwangzug (5-0-0, +10), Northern Bettia (4-1-0, +16), Sel Appa (4-1-0, +16), UCS SLANI (5-0-0, +16)


Biggest Disappointment: Vephrall (1-0-4, -2)

Finally getting your first win in your most recent match when you’re the second seed in your group is a fast ticket to the biggest disappointment award. Especially when you’ve already fired your coach as a result of your start.

Others Considered: Kelssek (1-0-4, -5), Hopeless SC (1-2-2, -2)


Biggest Mystery: Naboombu Umbongo (5-0-0, +6)

Apparently The Archregimancy isn’t the only nation playing with dream specters in this World Cup. Any recent map searches turn up no sign of the nation of Naboombu Umbongo, yet they have a six point lead in their group and are all but assured an automatic bid into the World Cup barring either a total collapse or intervention by the World Cup Committee or the hosting nations.

Others Considered: none


Most Puzzling Team: Novapsolu (2-0-3, +2)

It’s hard to say which Novapsolu team will show up on any given matchday. The one that blows out their opponent or the one that loses a close match.

Others Considered: Abaio (2-1-2, -1), Lethislavania (2-0-3, -7)


Most Likely to Step-up: Ad’ihan (2-1-2, 0, 4th)

Finding themselves in the rare position of sitting on the outside looking in halfway through qualifying, it is likely that Ad’ihan will step-up in the second half of qualifying to qualify easily.

Others Considered: Lethislavania (2-0-3, -7, 4th), Kelssek (1-0-4, -5, 6th), The Holy Empire (1-3-1, +2, 3rd)


Most Likely to Wilt: Diojiu (2-1-2, -3)

In a group with such legends of the international soccer community as Squornshelous and The Archregimancy, Diojiu somehow got to the midway point tied on points for the last qualifying position in the group. As inspirational as their run may have been, it is unlikely to stand over the second half of qualifying.


Others Considered: Abaio (2-1-2, -1), Kiryu-shi (3-0-2, +2)


Lead Foot: Rennidan (1 goal scored)
Sieve: New Cimeran (20 goals allowed)

THE ROCKET REPORT

TIME FOR THE SECOND HALF

Tundra Falls, Newmanistan- Qualification for the World Cup still is not an impossibility as the third spot in the Group still seems to be sitting there for someone to take. The question is, does anyone want it? Kelssek was the favorite to be in that position but they have had a disappointing first half. Things could have been positioned nicely for Newmanistan, but they too have left potential points on the table. Maybe the underdog of underdogs, Lithima? Well, they really haven’t been consistent enough. Eighthgraderistan sits in the position, but will the kids fold under the pressure. They got off to a good start in the Baptism of Fire, too, before fading late. Ultimately, as hard as the four teams below Milchama and Kura-Pelland have tried to avoid finishing third based on their inability to play consistently when positive opportunities have presented themselves, someone, will have to actually claim that spot. Maybe the Rockets can be the one, it’s not over yet. Our Clint Peterson sat down with manager Brian Carson to discuss the second half of qualifying.

CP: Brian, thanks again for your time.

BC: Thanks for having me.

CP: Here we are now, ready to begin the second half of qualifying. Despite some difficulties, it still seems to be possible to get that third spot. Thoughts?

BC: We still are very much alive, I know that we are certainly not about to throw in the towel. We’re going to need to play better, but I think we have it in us.

CP: Reports are that the Rockets are going to open it up, and be much more offensive-minded over this portion. Is that correct?

BC: Yes, Clint. We have gone over some things and decided that we are not really playing the kind of Newmanistan football that we should be. A lot of that, you have to credit our opponents, but lets face the fact, what we did in the first half didn’t work. So now we must try something else.

CP: So it’s all about making adjustments then?

BC: You have too. We’ve played a lot of games now on the global scale. Before, the scouts of our opponent’s didn’t have a ton to go by, now they do. We have some people on this team who are capable of scoring, and the idea is that we will create more chances for them. It will be at the expense of our defense, true, but they have done well so I have confidence in them.

CP: Several people in the media have called for some lineup switches. Will there be any?

BC: Some of the switches you guys in the media want me to make are a little silly, but there is one thing that we will do. Tony Borsinger will be starting in place of Stratton. Tony’s solid, and he played in the Di Bradini Cup as a starter, so I’m going to give him an opportunity here.

CP: Chris Peterson has been called out, but he stays?

BC: Yes, Chris Peterson will remain in the lineup. I realize that he hasn’t been quite up to his potential, but he’s still a great player. Steve Boland hasn’t done enough, in my opinion, to warrant taking the job from him, and I am not going to play Shawn Drummond out of position.

CP: What about Julie? Isn’t she an option?

BC: Julie is not the same type of midfielder as Chris Peterson, so she is not a logical replacement for him. Julie would relieve Prescott or Carrigan, not Peterson.

CP: Newmanistan did not schedule any mid-qualifying friendlies. Why was that?

BC: Why do you think? I was actually shocked by the amount of mid-qualifying friendlies that took place. It was our chance to rest up. And we did. We’re about as fresh as possible right now.

CP: I’m sorry, my producer wanted me to ask that. (Hey Jake I told you that was a dumb question!)

BC: That’s ok, I’ll forgive you.

CP: One thing people have noted, and I want your take on this, is that Newmanistan seemed to have a special “spark” in the Di Bradini Cup and Baptism of Fire. Really being in the zone, and the feeling that every time you went out there the team was going to be able to handle their opponents. That spark, seems to be missing, or not as evident. Almost as if losing is well, more accepted right now.

BC: It’s hard to really explain, because I really do feel that this is the same team in the Baptism of Fire with the same kind of fire and emotion to succeed and win. You can’t ignore the fact that we have made a big jump in class, and if that did extinguish some of the spark, that is unfortunate. I just don’t really agree. We have a great group of people here, players that think they can win every time we play. We aren’t backing down, and we are not conceding anything, not even when we play Milchama.

CP: You know the tradition of the Proving Grounds, as you have coached and played here as the visitor. What’s it like to now be here as the home team?

BC: I don’t ever get tired of coming here. I played here in high school and college, and understood the historical significance of the grounds in which I was fortunate enough to play on. I can’t wait to play, and I think we can get three points.

CP: I’m also curious as to your opinion as to what went down in Kose and The Turkomans. Your protégé there, was canned, even though he led them to the final of the Baptism of Fire.

BC: Well, its not my place to comment on what Kose and The Turkomans does, or what anyone else does. They felt a move was necessary, and a move was made. Beyond that, it’s really none of my business and I have no comment or opinion on the matter.

CP: Alright Brian, thank you, and good luck in the second half.

BC: Thanks Clint, and to all the fans out there for your support. Go Rockets!

On the popular Morning TV show Sporting Rise they are analyzing the group at this stage.

P1: Hello and today, instead of firing shots on the training pitch he's firing wisdom of football, it's Sinan Kose with me.

Si: Pleasure to be here.

P1: Now we look at the top of the group, Bazalonia now they look set to remain top of the group, but with what record?

Si: Well I think coming to our stadium is hard for any team and well Tynelia proved that so I'll go with draw with us.

P1: Then they have Legalese, now I think we all know the result it's just a matter of how many goals they win by.

Si: Once again a perfect analysis, then they should in an Ideal world win all of the other games but I'll say draw with Tynelia.

P1: So that would leave them with 23 points at the end of qualifying. Now we move on to the next two.

Si: Tough ones to call as always but Tynelia should win all but 2 of their games, Draw with KaMaRi and the 'Lopes. Leaving them with 22 points at the top, so they'll replicate the first half of qualifying.

P1: Now comes: KaMaRi, so you thoughts?

Si: Well, Loss to Bazalonia, Draw with Tynelia, win the other two and lose to us in our Stadium.

P1: Leaving them with?

Si: 17 points

P1: Now us! So how do you rate us?

Si: Draw with the Lopes, Loss to Tynelia, Win the other 3, Leaving us with 10 points with 17 points so we'll possibly go in through the back door on goal difference.

P1: Great! Now the bottom 2, No brainers I'd say.

Si: Well, Legalese to lose all their matches so that leaves Wijaska Island with some pride as they get 3 points more.

P1: Thank you for your time Sir.

Si: The pleasure was all mine.

P1: After the break, how do the free kick takers get that much curl on the ball.

Si: Well I'm not telling (Winks)

"You do realise, of course, that this was supposed to be the watershed moment for Kelssekian football," remarked the analyst whose credentials and qualifications to comment on the fortunes of the national team were entirely his ability to have commented on them in the past. "We were in fact, by ranking, the second- or third-best team in the group."

"So what accounts for the dreadful run then?" Adam inquired.

"Hmm, oh, how about, the team's utter attraction to failure? The abject horror show of sporting incompetence that they have infused into their performances? They were in the last qualifying run beaten by a team of mice, for God's sake. But on the other hand, there is some hope-"

"Thanks very much, Dave." the second host said, cutting him off.

"My name's Enoch."

"Oh, passive-aggressive now, are we?"

"What?"

"Mr. Big Shot Football Analyst, come to grace us proles with your wisdom. Screw you. The team's a failure and you know it. On to more news from around the world. Let's go to... the international friendly between Daehanjeiguk and Prazkoy. Robert joins us now live from Daehanjeiguk. Robert?... Robert, are you there?"

"We didn't have the budget to send a guy to cover a bloody international friendly, Dave."

"How did you know my name's Dave?"

"You're wearing a name tag."

"Oh yeah. Also we've worked together for three months now."

"Uh, yeah, that too."

JARISS RENAISSANCE PRESS
“No storm shall silence us!”

Playoff Bound?

Though the qualifiers have only made it to the halfway point, Jariss finds itself in the unusual position of being in very good shape to make the playoffs. After the team’s 1-0 win over last place Sarejavo combined with the surprising 2-2 draw between Magnus Valerius and Engbec, Jariss finds themselves 5 points ahead of the fourth place Enbec team which leads expected challengers for the playoff spot Magnus Valerius on goal differential. Even more oddly, the team finds itself only two points out of first after another draw, this time between the two leaders Casari and Daehanjeiguk in a Jariss-esque 0-0 match.

All of this means that despite only one shutout in the first half, a win at home against Magnus Valerius this next match could all but clinch a playoff spot for Jariss. Something that has never happened in Jariss history. If things work out Jariss could very well be playing its next two matches after that with the group title up for grabs. Some may think we’re being greedy here, but just making the playoffs shouldn’t be the team goal right now. Going for the automatic qualification spot should be the team’s goal now. They have weathered a slow start defensively but no doubt this shutout is a sign that the old style Jarissian scoreless match could be coming back soon. With such a short qualifying run anything can happen and its anyone’s game at this point. So why not ours?

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%201.PNG

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Tertius Shajarrayam

Pazhujebis Try To Stay Calm As Tension Rises and Second Half of Qualifying Begins

After managing a decent 2 all draw at home in Bengaluru against the Dream Simulacra of the Holy Empire, the Purple Sea Urchins of the Pazhujeb Islands national team will hurdle now into the second half of qualifying in Group 4. They will luckily be able to say that three of the five matches are to be played at home, including a crucial Matchday 10 tie against group leaders Squornshelous, who barely beat our Urchins not so long ago.

First, they must overcome a team that brought great difficulty to the club, Beer Served Here. Avid fans will remember that star striker Chaya Vuhumkara was suspended for five matches by manager Jaime Oberlander due to alcohol abuse during the match. The home leg against BSH will be the last match of Vuhumkara's suspension, and though many will still be angry with him, no one will disagree that his presense will be welcome, in lieu of Herodotusam Guvidhipa's still-continuing vampire affliction.

The mid-qualifying friendly itself went mostly well, considering that Oberlander used a team of mostly subs and a largely defensive formation. The Urchins scored in the 11th and 55th minutes, and with AIF equalizing to both in the 17th and 81st.

The match was generally without incident in terms of bookings, with only two cautions given by Terreiro de Ogum referee Pai Fagundes de Xangô, both to the Holy Empire.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png Pazhujeb Islands 2
Bejwai; Mhenipda, Zulqadr, Washilbaqi, Basfataj (Jhavaraja 66'), and Saqaba; Qaltaban, Chenab, and Bicharna; Panithaj and Qiva

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/alasdair_i_frosticus.png The Holy Empire 2
Bokegalbaatar; Maximov, Alex, Matai; Tkermec, Hu-35, Ziiaq, Hawk, and Kucinich; Belmowitz and Luiso

Referee: Pai Fagundes de Xangô (Terreiro de Ogum)

Goalscorers-
TPI: Panithaj 11', Basfataj 55'
AIF: Alex 17', Tkermec 81'

Matchday 1: Beer Served Here - Pazhujeb Islands (1-3 W)
Matchday 2: Pazhujeb Islands - The Archregimancy (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 3: Diojiu - Pazhujeb Islands (2-0 L)
Matchday 4: Pazhujeb Islands - Kolanderaz (@ K'arasiam Sarvatobhav in Pkethat Hevnaje) (3-2 W)
Matchday 5: Squornshelous - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Vogsphere Arena in Vogsphere) (3-2 L)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Holy Empire (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 6: Pazhujeb Islands - Beer Served Here (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu)
Matchday 7: The Archregimancy - Pazhujeb Islands (@ A Peaceful Woodland Glade in the Dreamed Realm)
Matchday 8: Pazhujeb Islands - Diojiu (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu)
Matchday 9: Kolanderaz - Pazhujeb Islands
Matchday 10: Pazhujeb Islands - Squornshelous (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)
Post-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Starblaydia (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%202.PNG

Matchday Six, remember ye well for it has been cut off, verily. And I say unto you, get your scores fix over here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13590292&postcount=10).

Caf, your red line of dashes broke my screen - could you either refrain from doing that or use shorter lines? Thanks.

Kose Sinks the 'Lopes
In the game which we lost 9-1 the Turks got sweet revenge. After a well taken free kick by Turkmen, Kose Volleyed it home in the 90th minute to send the whole country into pandemonium.

The game itself was against the Turks after being hemmed in their own half after many minutes, but Alhrem's tactics have paid off a triumph as this win has only made qualification easier for them.

Sinan Kose calmed the fans down and told them to chant for the team not for him.

Again this upset has resulted in massive rallies in Kose City with up to 10 million people coming out to celebrate.

Mr Alhrem himself took a while to adjust to the aggressive nature of the Turkic fans, he soon felt right at home in the Sultan Ibrahim XIII stadium.

K&TT lead chasing pack
Within 2 points of third place the Turks are now stepping up the gear as a play-off place looks to be slowly fading. Only needing one of the top 3 to slip up they will be hoping for a massive choke from one of the top 3 so that they may rise upwards into third and enter the land of dreams and come very close to qualifying first time.

World Cup Qualifying – MD6

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/acapais.png Acapais : Nire and Nire http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/nire_and_nire.png
1:2 (1:1)


Match Report:
Soban Lane, Fort Wallace, Kempshire – The sixth match of Acapais’s World Cup Qualifying campaign for World Cup XL was against Nire and Nire and ended in a 2-1 loss for the home side on Monday night courtesy of a late penalty kick. Acapais have only one win in their last twelve.

Questionable start by manager Stephanie Horne proved to be a decent one when Acapais newbie Dean Chilvers netted his first ever goal for the Hearts in the 17th minute. A strong left-footed shot the top of the arc on the eighteen hit the bottom corner of the net just out of reach of the keeper. Later on a Nire and Nire counterattack took O'Hare off his line and the attacker’s shot his off the keeper’s knee. The ball land though to the feet of another Nire and Nire player who made not mistake bending it around O'Hare for the equalizer.

Later in the second half Nire and Nire notched a second and the final goal of the match off a penalty kick where Agitril clipped the striker’s foot and then went to ground. Jose was subbed in shortly after Nire and Nire’s second goal and hit the upright just before full-time from a free-kick from Fronberry.

Stephanie Horne was quoted after the match saying the “it was another tough loss, but we can still manage a playoff spot even if we only take six points in the next four qualification matches, but twelve would be better.”

The next match is a home tie against The Daleks 2 whom Acapais lost to previously 2-1. Playing the match Lancaster could be a positive for Acapais because it is in the center of the nation and has little diversity. This element may scare some of the Daleks 2 fans into leaving the country early.

The loss leaves Acapais in fifth place in their group. Acapais is four points away from a potential qualification spot.

Scoring:
Acapais – Dean Chilvers (Rex Agitril) 17
Nire and Nire – Number 7 (Number 6) 25
Nire and Nire – Number 8 (pen) 64

Booking:

Acapais Lineup:
Starters: Hunchman O'Hare (GK); Bradly Sample, Rex Agitril, Kyle Rummy, Derek Sample; Zachary McKellar; Henry Paroe, Al Vick Osman; James Fronberry (C); Dean Chilvers (Castro 67), Dave Lugini;
Available Subs: Paul Junxton, Nick Daniels, David Franzman, Pablo, Jose Castro
Head Coach:Stephanie Horne

Match Facts:
Venue (Attendance): Soban Lane (30,381)
Location: Fort Wallace, Kempshire
Referee: Jorge Martinez

Next Match:
vs. The Daleks 2
Starters: Hunchman O'Hare (GK); Bradly Sample, Rex Agitril, Kyle Rummy, Derek Sample; Zachary McKellar; Henry Paroe, Al Vick Osman; James Fronberry (C); Jose Castro, Dave Lugini;
Available Subs: Paul Junxton, Nick Daniels, David Franzman, Pablo, Dean Chilvers
Head Coach:Stephanie Horne
Venue (Capacity): Manaan Park (47,066)
Location: Lancaster, Kempshire
Referee: Kevin Murphy
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_daleks_2.png

Injuries/Supensions:
Derek Sample – Calf strain (probable)

Acapais Goal Scorers:
2 – Dave Lugini
2 – James Fronberry
2 – Jose Castro
1 – Zach McKellar
1 – Henry Paroe
1 – Al Vick Osaman
1 – Rex Agitril
1 – Dean Chilvers

Acapais Assists Leaders:
3 – Al Vick Osaman
2 – Henry Paroe
2 – James Fronberry
1 – Zach McKellar
1 – Rex Agitril

Acapais Yellow Cards:
2 – Al Vick Osaman
2 – Derek Sample
2 – James Fronberry
2 – Jose Castro
2 – Henry Paroe
1 – Bradley Sample
1 – Kyle Rummy
1 – Zach McKellar
1 – Rex Agitril
1 – Dave Lugini

Acapais Red Cards:
1 – Bradley Sample
1 – Rex Agitril
1 – Zachary McKellar

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Acapais RP Threads
Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13391027&postcount=8)

Jeruselem Government News

Jacinta Sallad stops the music!

Dance 2 Revolution came to Jeruselem hoping to repeat the 1-0 win it inflicted on our Princesses at home. Jeruselem want top spot in Group 8 and the dancing team were in the way. It made for a big clash of a team expected to perform against a team who have performed so well so far.

The Village People (those gay folk in funny costumes) once sang you "You can't stop the music". Well, for D2R it did but for Jeruselem it was all music at home at Dazza Dallas stadium.

The game started with Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas and Jacinta Sallad singing their new song "Jeru Girl". The crowd was full of "Jeru Girls" in sea of pink and "Hello Kitty". The camera man had trouble focussing on the two girls as he tended to point the camera at their wobbly bits. A group of dancers dressed as pink cats accompanied the two girls.

The game started with D2R putting pressure on Princess defense. Jacinta Sallad always got in the way making life difficult for the D2R attack despite getting a few blows from swinging arms and flying legs. The little defender put her body and looks in the way of D2R win. A frustated D2R threw more at Jeruselem but this opened up their defense.

Kate Sallad opened the scoring past a paper thin defense with a solo effort in the 30th minute. Jennifer Sloan made it 2-0 with clinical strike from distance in the 40th minute to give the dancing team something to think about for the 2nd half.

D2R pressed again but the defense stood firm once again with Jacinta Sallad clearing the ball on the line a few times. At the end of the game, she looked like a little pig rolling in mud. Scarlet Ferris secured the game with goal three after getting pulled off the ball in the D2R penalty area. She snapped in the penalty kick in the 70th minute. Coss Cohen finished off the game for good bunting in a loose ball at the death throes of the game,

4-0 to Jeruselem and they look like being Alpha dog. D2R finished a broken record. Jacinta Sallad was named player of the game for her efforts in defense.

Bostopia kept up with the Elves recording a 4-2 over the Blouman Empire. They are still 3 points off top spot and are looking good for 2nd spot in the group.

Qazox crashed to a 1-2 loss to the Gnomes and put paid any realistic chances of being top team in Group 13. Qazox, Scotchpinestan and Green Wombat are locked in mortal combat for 2nd and 3rd spot in Group 13.

Once again, Terreiro de Ogum frustrated Jeru FC with another draw. Jeru FC are travelling well despite collossal losses to the Slani and South Northern folk. The game should have been a win but now there's the rematches against the big teams again to determine Jeru FC's fate.

In other Group 8 games, Novapsolu LOST to Abaio. Yes, not just any old loss but they lost 0-4. Novapsolu are looking down sitting in 4th when they should in the top 3. Abaio are looking are taking 3rd spot from Novapsolu unless something good happens to Novapsolu.

Sesquipedalianist played out a draw in the battle of bottom two in Group 8. Nothing special but they got points of it. They will not make the top 3 due to 12+ point differential and only 12 points on offer left for them.

Scores of relevance

Group Five
Blouman Empire 2-4 Bostopia

Group Eight
Jeruselem 4-0 Dance 2 Revolution
Abaio 4-0 Novapsolu
Kalmykstan 1-1 Sesquipedalianist

Group Thirteen
Qazox 1-2 Az-cz

Group Fifteen
Jeru FC 1-1 Terreiro de Ogum

BILL: We're going to talk, now, a little bit about last night's game. If the Dancougar Black Wings get nothing else out of qualifiers, we can at least say that the two matches they played with the Cafundeu Monopolists were among the most entertaining, free-spirited matches in the run-up to World Cup 40. Sixteen goals in two games, a split, with each team winning at home. A big 6-2 win for Cafundeu last night; Jack, why aren't more people upset about that?

JACK: Well, the expectation going into the game was that Cafundeu was going to defend the Obelisco. And they did it in style. The first half was phenomenal, with plenty of chances for both sides, and a flurry of goals in the first twenty minutes. We saw a little bit of everything. Dangerous crosses, skillful footwork... ten minutes in, we had Da Silva's great run punctuated by Flecha's cheeky flick of the heel. Marcelinho and Whittaker were going at it all night, we knew whoever was going to crack first would cede the goal, and Whittaker's youth finally gave way.

BILL: So, we saw Flecha get two, but the Wings were doing their best to keep the crowd out of their mind. Ikeda and Boskov made it 3-2 at halftime. Defenses took a break, it seemed. But after that, Cafundeu found their back line and we didn't. What happened out there?

JACK: The Wings were putting more effort into going forward, which we don't see much from them. Cafundeu made good on some very swift counterattacks, length of the field just like that. It got to the point, I thought, where they needed to just sit back and control the damage. But DuPont stayed aggressive and pushed them up, so of course, the Monopolists capitalized. But Bill, tell me that you weren't glued to that set even as the game went out of reach.

BILL: Well, I was.

JACK: That's right, because there was so much energy on that field, so much energy in that stadium, it was like the guys were possessed. And Morimoto could've had goal number three, but he hit the crossbar, that might've changed everything. And yet the attacks would not stop, from either team. I don't know that we've ever seen the Wings fight so hard from so hopeless a spot. And even with all that - tell me that you didn't cheer when Flecha got his hat trick, you just knew that stadium was going to go off if he got it.

BILL: Again, that was great to see, and made even better by the fact that Yamada made him work for it. But Jack, even if it's great for the game and great for the fans, the reality is that with this crushing defeat, the Black Wings are now sitting in a precarious position. Third place and only three points up. Another bad result puts them in danger of missing the playoffs.

JACK: After a game like that, you would think that they'll come back to the National Stadium to do what they should've done to Krasslor in the first leg. Six against is a bitter pill to swallow, but against Cafundeu at home, I think they'll instead look to rebound. They need to really have their heads up high for the Quakmybush game, because that's really going to determine, I think, where they end up.

BILL: Let's go back to that first twenty minutes, when Cafundeu jumped up 3-0. The fans were really into it, the Monopolists were flowing across the field so smoothly. What got the Black Wings to wake up?

JACK: You know, I think a lot of that was really self-motivated. The guys knew how important this game was, what kind of stage they were on. There were only about thirty thousand Dancougar fans who made the trip, crunched into one corner of the stadium, singing their songs and waving their towels. But it was for them, too. And it showed when Ikeda burst through, and when Boskov got that pretty shot off before the break.

BILL: But Marcelinho, I think he has to be the man of the match for me. He only got one goal, but he created at least three others. He was making a lot of passes, springing runs forward and creating opportunities for his teammates. Once they had to sub Whittaker out - because let's face it, that young man exhausted himself trying to keep up - he was really on his own in the midfield. Vistula wasn't ready to come off the bench and take him on.

JACK: And that's definitely true, although I would say that at least two of those Cafundeu goals should've been stuffed by the defense. At the very least, Da Silva's. Barclay looked uncharacteristically sluggish when he really should've been playing up, not letting him get so much separation inside the box.

BILL: So when all's said and done, Cafundeu keep pace with group leaders Quakmybush and get some major separation from the Wings. Dancougar is third, and in dire need of a win against Krasslor. How do they get it?

JACK: Well, they need to be more efficient on the field. More patience picking their chances, more accurate with the finish. Most of all, stamina. Don't waste energy trying to create something from nothing. Krasslor's defense is not as good as Cafundeu's. If you push long enough, it'll bend and break, and that's when you surge in...

*******************************************

Patterson paced at the window restlessly. Peter and Russ, their clothes dirty and wrinkled, sat at the table. Something was still nagging all of them, but it wasn't falling together. Not yet. "Gas line explodes during football game," Patterson said at last. "It's going to get harder to cover these up."

"They've got to be nationals," Russ mumbled. "He said something to us in Japanese before he blew up. And he wouldn't attack the crowd, he wanted the stadium itself."

"The players might have been the targets," Patterson said. "But we don't know. He's the same as the ones before, sure enough, but still too many holes. We're probably in the clear until Southern Northland gets here."

"What was it he said... Fujiko-san, arigato?" said Russ. "Thank you, Miss Fujiko?"

"A girlfriend, or an accomplice?" asked Patterson, lighting a cigarette.

Peter sat at the table fiddling with the newspaper. He turned to the sports section. "Huh... Fujiko won the Big West after... hey, wait a minute!" He sat up. His brain was chugging along at a mile a minute, which was a completely new sensation for him. "Maybe he was talking about Fujiko, like, the place."

"Hey, right, the fireworks guys said they were going to Milton, right?" Russ said, grabbing the paper. "Mount Fujiko is right there. If that's... Pete, that's it! They're at the state park!"

"You figured it out? Then why are we even here?" asked Patterson. "Let's hit the road!"

..........

"So they're posing as college students, then?" asked Patterson, after Russ and Peter had filled him in on their findings.

"Right," replied Russ. The edges of the screen grew wavery and a bright light announced a flashback was on its way during the explanation. "They needed to get explosives cheap and easy, but the stuff they bought from our man wasn't top quality. But they knew how to refine it. The Milton centennial was the perfect cover for the purchase, and the cabins in the state park were isolated enough to do the work. And if they needed serious equipment, the college was nearby with a fully stocked chemistry department. They could transport everything on their person without raising any alarm!"

"Clever bastards," Patterson muttered, swerving from one lane to the next to get around other the other cars. "Well, this will be the end for them... you boys did all right." He reached over to the passenger seat and tossed his bag to the two in the back. "Here, you'll need these."

Russ and Peter opened the back. A brace of pistols. "You want us to... whaaa?"

THE ROCKET REPORT

SIMILAR RESULT AGAINST KURA-PELLAND

Tundra Falls, Newmanistan- The setting was much different here at the Proving Grounds. With the football facility filled to capacity, many in the racetrack’s grandstands viewing with binoculars, and others on the premises watching from jumbotrons, there may have been close to a half million people back on the Grounds itself. Waving flags, cheering, and chanting, hoping to urge the Rockets to a win that would be huge in securing a playoff spot. Kura-Pelland had a decent following of their own, as their fans were able to capitalize on the extra amount of available tickets at the Proving Grounds, and they were very respectable of the land they were walking on. Stadium police reported zero arrests.

The game though, followed a very similar script as did the first meeting. Again, Kura-Pelland jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead on goals by Norbert Fiero in the 20th minute, and then Fedde Beattis in the 35th. For Beattis, it was his third goal against the Rockets in the qualification. The teams played a quicker tempo, and Kura-Pelland had some other opportunities, including two hit goal posts in the first half. But in stoppage time, a great run by Chris Peterson, fighting to keep his starting job according to the media led to a goal by Newmanistan’s Kevin Lewis, his third goal of the tournament, to make it 2-1 going into the break. Defender James Williams uncharacteristically fell just as the ball got to Lewis, allowing Kevin to have a great opportunity.

Unlike last time though, where Newmanistan pressure to tie up the game would lead to nothing, this time they would actually find paydirt, though it would take quite a bit of time to do so. In the 68th minute, it was Jeremy McAllister off a corner kick. Kevin Carrigan delivered a great ball, and McAllister was able to play the ball perfectly, getting the ball just a fraction of an inch over Stephen Hill’s hand and finding the back of the net. With the game 2-2, things got very interesting, and this is where you have to credit both sides for going for the win instead of just settling for the draw. For Kura-Pelland, it would have been a safe point, giving their seemingly safe position in the table, and for the Rockets, it would have been a critical point. But that wasn’t good enough, and the last 20 minutes had some of the most wide open football of the entire game. Both teams had chances, with Kura-Pelland hitting the goal post two more times, but eventually they would get an opportunity. After Tony Borsinger fell on a mad rush upfield by Kura-Pelland, Jeremy Brooker made a frantic dive at Fedde Beattis to prevent a three-on-one of sorts. The tackle worked, somewhat. Until referee Fjotried Arnesson of Sqournshelous signaled for a penalty kick. A tough call, but one that can not be argued, and Brooker did not even bother. It was one of those plays where you just have to take the chance. Coming in the 87th minute, Beattis delivered it perfectly into the goal net, and also made sure not to place it too close to a goal post. The goal made it 3-2, and that’s where we would finish off.

Again a loss to Kura-Pelland, but again a match with them that just leaves you with that “I know we can beat them!” taste in your mouth. If only the Rockets could find a way to that third spot and get another likely chance with them. They need to start winning, because if you haven’t noticed, Kelssek is back in the groove.

The Unaclaimed Newspaper
Knights Tie Fujisiwan Territories, Holod on to second
In a soccer match yesterday the Purple Knights tied the Fujis in an away game. The one Knight goal was scored by Zeke Jr. in the 59th minute.
In a related instance, the Yafor 2 Golden Wolves defeated the Northern Bettia squad 5-1. And the race for first in group 10 of qualifying, is tight with the Bettian team, up to over the Knights, and 3 over Yafor 2. Expect the race for the Automatic qaulifying spot to be tight. Also the Fujis team is creeping closer to third. This will be exciting. We meet with Kereca next in what is to be surely an exciting match.

The Unaclaimed Newspaper
Knights Tie Fujisiwan Territories, Hold on to second
In a soccer match yesterday the Purple Knights tied the Fujis in an away game. The one Knight goal was scored by Zeke Jr. in the 59th minute.
In a related instance, the Yafor 2 Golden Wolves defeated the Northern Bettia squad 5-1. And the race for first in group 10 of qualifying, is tight with the Bettian team, up to over the Knights, and 3 over Yafor 2. Expect the race for the Automatic qaulifying spot to be tight. Also the Fujis team is creeping closer to third. This will be exciting. We meet with Kereca next in what is to be surely an exciting match.

Prux's second half began with way it started, with a win over Kiryu-shi, 2-0. That win, coupled with Ad'ihan's win over Milchama, keeps the Prawns in first place. Up next is Ad'ihan, where at least a draw will keep the team in first. The Prawns goals were scored by: J7Y and Heff Jardy.


Goals:
J7Y- 6
James Nobel- 4
Heff Jardy- 3
Matt Victor Paulsen- 2

Green Wombat Daily Tattler

GREEN WOMBAT 3- Iansisle 1

A 3-1 win over Iansisle, which is now almost eliminated from direct advancement, keeps the slim hopes of the Wombats alive.

As of now here are the current Group Thirteen standings:

TEAM W-D-L Pts GF GA GD
Az-cz 5-1-0 16 18 8 +10
Qazox 3-1-2 10 12 8 +4
Scotchpinestan 3-1-2 10 10 10 --
Green wombat 3-0-3 9 9 13 -4
Nethertopia 0-4-1 4 6 8 -2
Iansisle 0-1-5 1 4 12 -8

The next match is at 5th place Nethertopia, whom we beat 1-0 at home. Another win, and Nethertopia is basically eliminated, while our chances are still viable.

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

MATCHDAY SIX: vs. Az-Cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City.

Just under 100,000 filled Qazian Memorial earlier today, and came away dissapointed as Az-cz came away with a 2-1 win, moving them 6 points clear for the automatic qualifer spot.

Az-cz' Seoula Vitakiralski got the ball rolling in the 24th minute, making it 1-0 on a direct kick caused by a Reid Vidaca foul, a person whom would factor in the winning goal later. Niether side could get much offense going besides that goal, and the half ended with the Pheonix down.

The second half saw many oppertunities wasted by Qazox, but the first chance came early as Kallie Jaus slapped (with her foot) home a Tarricone pass and at the 49 minute mark, it was tied at 1-1.

For the next 30 minutes, the score line held, and momentum seemed on the Pheonix' side, but shot after shot either was just wide or high and the aforementioned Reid Vidaca made an error for the ages.

In the 79th minute, with Az-cz driving, the ball seemingly went out of bounds, deep inside Qazox territory, just inside the 16-yard box, when Reid picked up the ball and threw it towards the keeper for the GoalKick. But the ball, and for once the replays were correct never crossed the line and Az-cz was awarded a penalty kick, and Reid was sent off after a lengthy verbal diatribe with the referee. Seoula Vitakiralski promptly kicked home for the 2-1 lead, and with only 10 men, Qazox couldn't sustain any offensive pressure in the end to get an equalizer.

Despite the loss, Qazox is still in control of the playoff race in Group XIII. Up next is Iansisle, the 6th place team, at the SaxerDome, SaxerVilla. A win would be a great bounce-back from the 2 recent losses, (though one was a friendly) while anything else could see the Pheonix in 4th place, scrambling to qualify.


QAZOX SCORING:
Anderson Tarricone- 3
Kallie Jaus- 3 (1 PK)
Renna Valladores- 3
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Stevie Spingler- 1



SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia L 1-2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. Kickoff time: 19:40 QST. QSPN
G8: @ Scotchpineistan (Location and time: TBD) QSPN2
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. Kickoff time: 14:50 QST. QSPN2
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) Kickoff time: 18:00 local (17:30 QST) QSPN

The Meice Journal
All the news that fits, we print!
Vol. 163, No. 358 - 9 February 1756

Sports

Laying down the Law
by Preptyrs Osprite

So, does anyone still have reservations about Vephrall's new manager?

Parker Law took a team that was winless in nine games and seems to have turned them completely around, winning three out of four, two of those against very tough opponents.

After the 6-0 win over Lethislavania, some could say there was a bit of a backslide in Arrigo in the friendly against Candelaria And Marquez. For which I have a couple of things to say.

1. It's a new coach. Things are going to be erratic for a little while as the players get used to Law's style.

2. It was a friendly, which gave Law a little bit more freedom to experiment. Again, his appointment couldn't have come at a better time; he was able to get a lot of much-needed practice before the second half of World Cup qualifying.

3. And perhaps the biggest one, we were playing C&M. In C&M. It's really hard to say whether they or Kura-Pelland are our biggest rivals, but they're definitely in the top two.

And then the Monopolists of Cafundéu came to Ellime e Vephrall (which, by the way, has now been restored as our home venue for the rest of qualifying). The game was sold out over a week in advance. And they got their money's worth, as the white and gold picked up a 3-1 victory over a top ten team.

Oh, but that still wasn't enough. Actually, I'll be honest, I'm not sure how much of a hand Law played in the next match. I think the players themselves were just pissed off that they lost the qualifying opener three-nil and were determined to prove they were better than that. At first that didn't seem likely, with Zwangzug taking a quick two-nil lead, both from the boot of veteran forward Peter Vanderpent. Then Recasang Hetag answered with a pair of his own to make it 2-2 at the half.

Several Vephrese clubs' scouts were present at the match, most of them looking at midfielder Phootid Fihor, who is currently on the transfer list at Rinaldi. In addition to assisting Hetag's second goal, he gave Vephrall the lead on a corner kick in the 62nd minute. Megan Kucinich tied it back up shortly afterward, also on a corner. Toward the end of the game, the Zwangzug back line was starting to slow down a bit, and Ferrys Sorrah took advantage of it to put goal number four into the empty net. Remember, Zwangzug play without a goalkeeper. How they manage to do this and not concede twelve goals a match is beyond me, but obviously they've figured something out.

So, in review: 6-0 over Lethislavania, 1-3 at C&M, 3-1 over Cafundéu, and 4-3 in Zwangzug. Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, we're in third place now. I kid you not:

Group Seven
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Zwangzug 6 5 0 1 18 9 9 15
2 Yafalonia and Bazor 2 6 5 0 1 14 8 6 15
3 Vephrall 6 2 0 4 12 13 -1 6
4 Uiri 6 2 0 4 9 11 -2 6
5 Pantocratoria 6 2 0 4 7 9 -2 6
6 Lethislavania 6 2 0 4 7 17 -10 6

Obviously, we're not safe yet. But getting that away win over Zwangzug certainly helps; now the biggest threat is Y&B2, and we get them at home. I think we should be able to hold on to third and hopefully get a favorable playoff draw.

The Civil Column

Special One
By Mike Rowden

It has been brought to most peoples attention that Sinan Kose is scoring at an amazing rate and well what people want to know is, how? and Why is he so special in the team?

Well lets deal with the easy question how. Ok so most players on the team are quality and with the new manager Alhrem they look set to challenge teams above them, but with Sinan Kose there is always practice always outside in the sun playing football.

Now the reasons he is special are numerous so I'll begin with the simple ones. He's the lone striker, he's easily the tallest and therefore an easier target to cross to and he's strong and can muscle people off the ball, but of course this alone cannot make a team and so if we are to succeed it will need Sinan, Serkan, Uzulmez and Sabri on form.

No Hope?
By Metin Hakan

Even if we meet all our expectations will we really make it to third? If the Evil Eye favors us than yes but remember a admirers Evil Eye is among the worst so do not jump to conclusions just yet. To keep this on football I'd say that the team is perhaps too weak to follow through even if they make third and that if we do get to the world cup we wont be going any further.

However to keep this on a positive note the team is showing a lot of hope for the future and maybe the present but the latter is highly doubtful. We will probably see a rise in our world rankings if we keep this up and we all hope that if we don't make it our team will not take it too hard.

K&TT vs Wijaska Island preview

Wijaska Island:
Record: 1-0-5
The Pros: They Have nothing to lose as they enter this match as they are currently 11 points of first. have a good goal scoring record at home.
The cons: poor sloppy play at the back causes defeats and no team is released

K&TT:
Record: 3-1-2
The Pros: Fluid passing in midfield. Strong 5-man defense. Good striker and wingers are fast.
The Cons: Going through an adjustment period with the new manager.

Any doubts that Kura-Pelland will be in the playoffs are just about removed. Milchama are looking unstoppable - and would have to both lose to Kura-Pelland at Shanvley and drop points elsewhere in order to squander their top spot - but Kura-Pelland are an outrageous nine points clear in second with four games to go, after beating Newmanistan 3-2 away from home.

At the Proving Grounds - or rather one venue within this multi-sport complex, with an oval speedway surrounding indoor and outdoor stadia for various sports - Kura-Pelland raced into a two-goal lead, Norbert Fiero starting the scoring on 20 minutes from as many yards and Fedde Beattis' header from a Liam Marling cross a quarter of an hour later (after both Beattis and Marling had hit the post with long-range efforts) leaving Kura-Pelland cruising. Complacency rather set in at this point though, and in stoppage time a mistake from James Williams allowed Chris Paterson's through pass to find its intended target of Kevin Lewis, who took his chance well.

It got better for the hosts, who bossed the early second-half exchanges and deservedly equalised midway through the half when Jeremy McAllister's header from a Kevin Carrigan corner looped over the hand of Stephen Hill, who was admittedly unlucky not to get a touch. Still, 2-2 was not unfair, and one would think it would now be hard to motivate Kura-Pelland given that they had seemingly little to play for.

But as long as they're just three points behind Milchama they can go top, and Kura-Pelland started to attack. Three minutes from time they got their reward. Fedde Beattis was clean through on goal, but just as he was set to square the ball to substitute Xavier Le Monde for an open goal, Jeremy Brooker slid in and bought Beattis down. The referee, somewhat hesitantly, gave a penalty, which Beattis hit hard and low underneath the goalkeeper, who guessed right but couldn't get down in time.

A largely young team for the next couple of matches; Beattis is rested, as are several other veterans, and it's international debuts for Matthew Modexa and goalkeeper Andy O'Keefe.

STARTING LINEUP VS EIGHTHGRADERSTAN: O'Keefe; Phelps, Williams, Yuram-Wilson, Rukovich; Marling, Modexa, Pupori, Belling; Fiero, Chenoweth.

Huz-Ig had been shocked at first when he recieved the reports on the setup at the Az-cz Scroll. Apparently there really is a room that the employees believe to be the room where the robots are being stored. Which isn't so strange. And the room actually had a second smaller room nested inside of it, which as an added security precaution isn't that strange either. What is strange was that the inner room had no entrance or exit points, according to his contact. As he understood it, that room was perfectly sealed.

Huz-Ig's first thought after he accepted the information was that his source was leading him on. But the tone of voice and the way the story was expressed led him to believe that he was probably being told the truth. So assuming that the story was true and there is such a room his next question would be to figure out why. He thought about the possibility of it being a well placed trap, but a very sloppy one if that was the case. There was no guarantee that any intended target would take an interest in it. Most people hadn't. But if that wasn't the case he couldn't figure out what it was. He believed more strongly than ever that something weird was going on. His group had decided to try to sneak in during the Scotchpinestan game, so he could learn more than. For now however he was just going to watch Amda-Mo 's coverage of the huge win over Qazox.

Lionel Henri: Guys, I'm sad to tell you about that, but it seems that we never played a single game

Olivier Saucier: How come? We did play six games so far, and we won, then lost, to Bettia.

Lionel Henri: Well, if we take a look at the tables of Group 3, we are simply not there anymore.

Louis Levasseur: Well, I told you about it Lionel after 2 games. You simply said "Ah, ok ok..." then went back to playing 'Ballade à Saint-1093' on your StationLudique1093...

Lionel Henri: SAINT-1093... Why did you not take action with the WCC? We are members of it through the Oliverrians who officially sent us all of their records after their country went in shambles... Seems like I have to do everything in here... You see Group 3 guys? Septentoria. That's how we've been renamed. I HATE when people laugh at our nation like that, especially when a bunch of English-speaking people are involved. I'm going to call the WCC right now...

*a bit later*

Lionel Henri: Alright, this is going to be fixed for next game...

Lyndon Hernández MP, T.C.O.T.A-P.P.G.O.R.A.S and M.F.R.T., was scaring young girls. It was a favoured pastime.

The particular young girl in question had been Russett Dyer, the twenty-something Social Democratic & Green Party spokesperson for Cheese, or something, who was also party leader Ariadne Jefferson’s nomination for the all-important post of Chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Rushmori Agricultural Subsidies, in the event that the SD&GP won the elections in May; which seemed to be creeping up on everyone rather faster than even time dilation could account for.

On this particular Tuesday lunchtime they’d moved from Sam & Mark’s CGI room, where the guys had been busily bringing the ifrit down to size for the highlights package of Bettia’s victory in Septro…Septeno… against those French bastards, and past the store cupboard where such items that were used to bribe Espy va Drake, Fred Michaels, the Zet(t)aback siblings and any other footballing Eesseffian elves to shut up about being forced to wear those ghastly Beatlesesque haircuts in order to hide those pointy ears were kept, and into the Room.

Technically it wasn’t the largest in the Ministry for Rational Thought, which was an unnerving notion in itself since it was at least twice the size of a football pitch. What was equally as inspiring as the scale however was the noise – the dissonance of several thousand laptops, typewriters, photocopiers, printers and coffee machines. Russett gaped.

“Just how many people have you got working here?” she whispered.

“…?”

“I SAID, JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU GOT WORKING HERE?”

Hernández grabbed his fellow MP by the arm and dragged her back out into the corridor, shutting the door.

“Quite a significant number. What, you didn’t think that gambling and book publishing provided all C&M’s workforce, did you?”

“I had no idea it was this many, though… What’re they all doing in there?”

“Recording history.”

“Care to be a tad more specific, Lyndon?”

“As we discussed, Russett, our Device is designed – whether we want it to be or not, I have to add – to make sense of the new reality created once it’s pushed certain events back in time as per normal. People’s memories are the easiest to effect, it’s surprisingly simple to convince someone they watched a football match several weeks ago instead of several days. Trickier to make that several years instead of several weeks, I’ll grant you, but It manages it. Just about. Somewhat more of a challenge is sorting out the physical records. Newspaper articles. Unused tickets. Diaries. Birth certificates…”

“So… All those guys in there are changing this stuff?”

“Hm? No! God, no. That would be impossible. Can you imagine, sending someone around to every house in the country, every day of the year, to take all their written material away and replace it with the ‘proper’ versions? No, the Device does all that for us. The job of everyone in the Room is to attempt to keep records of the true passage of reality, before the Device gets around to fiddling with them. Most of those people in there are writing out exactly the same things; some of them in pen and ink, some of them on computers… some of them on runes etched into sheets of diamond… You get the idea. Most of them the Device deals with on its normal rounds following an international match, or other similar occurrence, but we can usually count on getting one or two of them through. Then we have ‘em shipped over to Ransome-Bkyki Island and store them in a temporally unstable vault at the bottom of Lake Svsvoyoy.”

“Mm, I suspected as much.”

“Primarily it’s, y’know, just on the off chance that things were to go badly, badly wrong at some point. Then at least we’d – or whatever or whoever replaced we’d – know what the world was like before…”

“Before the nature of the space/time continuum went tits up? Christ… It seems a hell of a lot of trouble to go to just so we can play bloody international football on the same timescale as most everyone else…”

“Ah, spoken like a typical woman, Russett. Talking of which...”

Hernández peered around Dyer and looked towards the end of the corridor, where Sukie Rohaert was leaning on the wall opposite a vending machine. He grinned at her and took Dyer’s shoulder.

“’Hope you don’t think I’m being rude Russett, but duty calls. If you want to just take a wander round there, my dear friend Mr. Martino will continue the tour.”

“Mr. Mar… Is that the elf I’ve been hearing so much about?”

“I’m afraid so. Do try not to tug on his ears, they’re not keen on that.”

The minister left Dyer and wandered over to Sukie.

“What’re you having?”

“Fruit Pastilles.”

“Meh, it’s your funeral.”

“What an inappropriate comment. Who was the lithe redhead? Looks vaguely familiar.”

“Russett Dyer. The soc dem un grun spokesperson for sustainable growth, or something.”

“Mm, I thought she had MP written all over her. It all looked very ‘one day, my son, all this will be yours,’ over there. Is she gonna be taking over, or something?”

“One can but hope, Sukie. If the SD&GP win the election. Sinclair Smailes has been linked with the gig if the MLP get in. Patricia Benevute’s a possibility. Mckenna Newton, perhaps. Frankly either way I dread to think what a President Morton would have planned for the old place…”

“Still, you’re looking oddly cheery.”

“That I am. D’you know what the score was today? Nil-all, in… wherever it is the Illegal Immigrants play. I really don’t know if that’s our little old buddy Donnelly weaving his magic or what, but god they’re awful away from home. I’m telling you Sukie, there’s not a chance they’re going to be able to catch Bettia now. And with the play-off format, well… Bazalonia, Vephrall, Wentland. The opportunities for being forced to play in the Cup of Harmony are endless! That’d end this country’s ridiculous obsession with international football dead in its tracks. Or at least convince a few of the club sides to force out their resident elves ‘cos they’re taking up places that should be given to emerging Candelariasian talent…”

“Of course, it could also be really bad for your chances of re-election if the country goes into May on a real downer…? And, y’know, we could also be drawn against the Holy Empire, who I believe you told me were…”

“A bunch of tulpa, yes. And yes, before you say it, we could also end up playing the monksfromanalternatereality… Way to bring down the mood. Honestly, I spent all morning working out detailed plans for my possible successor on what to do if we, at any point in the future, end up playing against that group of blood-sucking vampires the Pazhujebis ran foul of a little whole ago. It’s bad enough that Marcus Marshall’s going to be going on Celebrity Big Brother this year…”

“Aye, I was a tad surprised you let him go in the first place. What with the second Bettia game still coming.”

“He’d served his purpose. People were becoming suspicious there’d been no word from him for ‘weeks’. Plus, the Bettian government were starting to become a little ratty with us, on account of the whole making-up-complete-lies-about-their-justice-system thing. The Foreign Office felt we couldn’t really risk an Incident. And the Bettians’ve been sending secret service fellas over here to check up on us, and everythin’. We apprehended a couple only yesterday.”

“Really? How can you be so sure they’re Bettian? Considering the whole ‘secret’ bit?”

“They said ‘praise be to Allah!’ and ‘Boyo!’ a lot, Sukie. We did the math.”

“So they’re not going to let you get away with any per-koo-lee-ar stuff?”

“It’s not looking that way, no.”

“So how exactly are you going to deal with a fifteen-foot ifrit, Lyndon?”

Hernández put his head on one side. “Why all the questions, Sukie?”

“Professional curiosity. Plus, you know I like watching you squirm. How’re going to make a fifteen-foot ifrit appear man-sized?”

“We’re… going to ask him nicely.”

Much to Sukie’s private delight, the minister appeared slightly sheepish about this; which for an individual whose closest living relative was a rock iguana was quite a feat.

“Ask him nicely.”

“Yes. Ask him nicely. We’ll very politely inquire as to whether he wouldn’t mind awfully just shrinking himself down to a sensible size. Just so’s he doesn’t terrify the locals with his awe-inspiring physique.”

“Right. You’re not going to attempt to trick it into spending eternity locked in a lamp? Or edit every copy of the Book of International Records in the Candelarias to include a Mr. Ziiaq as the world’s tallest man? Or–”

“No, Sukie. And we’re not going to worry about getting our players to say Bismillah before tucking into their half-time oranges. And as tempting as it may seem, we’re not going to be removing seven hairs from a cat’s tail and burning them, or anything. At the very worst, we’ll bribe him with chocolate buttons. We’re just going to ask him nicely and hope he doesn’t decide to take the form of a magical camel when defending an indirect free-kick. God, I hate metamorphs…”

“Aah, the new touchy-feely Ministry of Rational Thought. I like it. Talking of which, how’s Mark Baaaaaker, Baaaaaker incarcerated, doing in his high security prison?”

“Your cynicism wounds me, Susannah. He’s fine. Really. Come on, you know our own military intelligence types; they think waterboarding means instituting a hosepipe ban. We’ll keep him in there until he’s no longer deemed a threat, then he’ll be dumped in some godforsaken hole where they don’t play football or have aeroplanes.” Hernández seemed to brighten up at this sudden burst of pique. “Now… I’m sure you’re not just here for some idle genie-based chit-chat. What can I do for you?”

“I… It’s nothing. Really. Just some deaths I’ve had to deal with recently.”

“Oh? Would that be the murder of the little boy over in Deevin, that Candelariasian-Northlandish drugs mule falling down the stairs, the o.d. woman up in Magnus, the man who starved to death down a well out west..?”

“God, you really do keep tabs on me… But the Northlandish guy, yeah. And not just him, either. There’s some kids up north who’re supposed to have some similar injuries. Shattered bones and things. An–”

“And exactly why have you interrupted an important meeting to tell me all this? Look, I humour you, Sukie, because you’re useful to me, but don’t think I’m going to let you overstep the mark.”

“Bu–”

“I’ve got slightly bigger things to deal with than a couple of unfortunate kids. Do your job, Sukie. Not mine. And not the police’s.”

“Bu–” the pathologist offered again. But Hernández had already marched away, and she was suddenly alone in a cold corridor at the Ministry for Rational Thought.

"So close. Wijaska Island got the intel we sent according to my sources but unfortunately they couldn’t quite overcome our team, Specialist Anderson. Perhaps a more experienced squad could do so. Like those Calamari folk. They got a draw last time with limited information on our teams weaknesses but this time they should triumph but they’ll be playing for first as well.” Agent Smith said putting down the morning paper.

“Calamari? Who’s that?” Anderson replied.

“You know 'the team formerly known as rejistania'. Some sort of coup or something I suppose. Wasn’t my department. Don’t know why they’d name themselves after some kind of food though.” Smith pondered

“You mean KaMaRi? Quite a bit different there Agent Smith, you really should brush up on foreign affairs.” Anderson pointed out.

“Bah I’ll have time for that later. Clean up your own backyard before you worry about the neighbor’s Specialist Anderson. We must remove the taint of the NOCCRO by any means short of murder- that’s the president’s orders. One I was brought into to take care of. Once that task is finished everything else will fall into place. As you may be unaware, I have operatives in place to pull the fire alarms at the team’s hotel the night before the next match to ensure they get no sleep and play horribly. Their defeats shall weaken the cult and give us the chance to break their tightening grip on our great nation.”

“First they’ll have to actually lose a match though. Haven’t lost a match yet despite your efforts.” Anderson pointed out.

“True the team is better than I expect them to be, but look at these goal totals. Match after match with giving up three goals. Ellis’ legacy is over, she’s too old to keep up with the grind of a long series like this. Mitchell doesn’t have the experience so he’ll crack when things get too tight. Trust me it’s a matter of time before they break.”

“If you say so. I think you’re taking them too lightly. This is a veteran team that has been together a long time now. Even if you’re feeding the other team all our team data they’ve shown they can rely on their experience to succeed.” Anderson pointed out.

“Experience is overrated. Just means you get locked in one mindset and can’t adapt to change.” The much younger Agent Smith loftily informed his predecessor. “Everything will be fine.”

“If you say so..” Anderson repeated as he wondered just how badly the president has messed things up by putting this brash kid up to Smith rank. It was clear to the veteran agent that the kid had no idea what he was getting into. Live and learn Anderson mused silently as he left Smith’s office.

THE NETHERTOPIAN SPORTSTIMES

World cup dream shatters!
Tenderville - It all seems over now. After a desastrious loss againt Scotchpinestan the Falcons are lying four points behind a play-off spot, which seems unreachable at this time. The Falcons had a flying start of the game, opening the score in the seveth minute. The goal was scored with a header by Souleymane Diakité.

The Nethertopians seemed to control the game and took the 1-0 lead into the half time rest. But the Scotchpinestani players made an amazing comeback, scoring two goals in six minutes after the break, crushing the Nethertopian defence in seconds. After getting the lead the Falcons attacked over and over again but failed to score a goal because the Scotchpineans were only defending.

Afterwards coach Rob Kietecs gave a press conference telling the reporters that reaching the WC finals wasn't his goal. "I didn't expect to qualify in our first time on this stage," he commented. "It's mostly to gain experience and try to gain some positions on the ranking list. However, we do want to take the CoH home..." The NFA has released a statement that they fully support the coach and that his position is not in danger at the moment.

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%201.PNG

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Tertius Shajarrayam

Existentialist Play Inspires X-Treme Waiting Competition

After massive public readings of Bamuel Seckett's tragicomedy Waiting For God, Oh, brought about a general increase in public awareness of the futility of life, some theatre fans have decided to bring a positive spin on the famous absurdist topic. A group of athletes from Mahathu have gathered together and formed the Pazhujeb Islands' first ever X-Treme Waiting Competition. The competition will consist of seeing who can wait for someone they have never met and probably will never come for the longest period of time. Winners will receive a year's supply of nuclear waste, courtesy of new foreign investor in the Pazhujeb Islands economy, the international mining corporation Nukes4U... (continued on page Y35)

National Team Pound Nation of Alcoholics

The Purple Sea Urchins of the Pazhujeb Islands national football team won big at Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu today by a total of four goals to nil. Unfortunately, everyone in Mahathu was to busy with the new trend of the X-Treme Waiting Competition, and was unaware of the details of the result.

Goalscorers were Ghur, Abadhyash, and Quridheru, with Ghur snatching a double (as well as man-of-the-match honors) with goals in the 15th and 34th minutes, and the latter two scoring in the 17th and 71st minutes respectively.

Matchday 1: Beer Served Here - Pazhujeb Islands (1-3 W)
Matchday 2: Pazhujeb Islands - The Archregimancy (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 3: Diojiu - Pazhujeb Islands (2-0 L)
Matchday 4: Pazhujeb Islands - Kolanderaz (@ K'arasiam Sarvatobhav in Pkethat Hevnaje) (3-2 W)
Matchday 5: Squornshelous - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Vogsphere Arena in Vogsphere) (3-2 L)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Holy Empire (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 6: Pazhujeb Islands - Beer Served Here (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (4-0 W)
Matchday 7: The Archregimancy - Pazhujeb Islands (@ A Peaceful Woodland Glade in the Dreamed Realm)
Matchday 8: Pazhujeb Islands - Diojiu (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu)
Matchday 9: Kolanderaz - Pazhujeb Islands
Matchday 10: Pazhujeb Islands - Squornshelous (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)
Post-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Starblaydia (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%202.PNG

Week 7 Of Media Boycott Stop Wentland Doing Well Stop Not Allowed To Give Scores Stop Hoping Message Reaches Stop Internet Broken Stop Post Office On Strike Stop Pigeons Afflicted With Bird Flu Stop Telephone Wires Cut By Nutters Stop When Will This Blackout Stop Stop I Have Just Seen A Sign That Says Stop Stop An Anagram Of Pots Is Stop Stop I Think I Have To Stop

http://www.islandsdaily.co.ad/sport/blog/wc40q/dare_we_believe_it#commentsanchor
Dare we believe it?
Posted 8:41 am, day after MD6 by Davey Thomson

Dare we believe it, indeed. Yesterday's surprise win away in Wentland was the team's fourth straight win — and third straight competitive match which they started without regular goalkeeper Ben Ropes. Omens, anyone?

I spoke to Dave Hollow after yesterday's match and he confirmed to me that he does read this column (hi Dave!). He's grateful for the support a lot of you have shown him which has helped him regain some confidence in himself and his team. He also told me that some of his squad changes were indeed inspired by comments on the blog — Chris in Pilminster's suggestion that John Bristow play on the right, for example.

And, of course, the 3-2 win over Wentland means that Dave Hollow's job is safe — for now. He's picked up nine points from nine, with the minimum expectation seven. Francis Yang is proving to be a very shrewd call-up to the squad with yet another goal, his third this campaign and fourth in four games.

And but who else to provide the winning goal? John Bristow, up for a corner, with the crucial header on 84 minutes.

Celebrations are well and dandy, but we've got another difficult away match in Prux next which we have to win if we want to stand any chance of winning our group (and hence automatic qualification). Stay tuned to this ever-changing ongoing soap drama.

Permalink | Trackback | View comments for this post (0)

The trio had slept quite soundly that night until Lethand and Forsci were awaken by the screams of Elwin. They had immiedately grabbed for their weapons, suspecting an intruder or an attack, but their blades quickly dropped from their hands when they saw what it is that caused the screams from their leader. Elwin had woken up early, and was in the middle of praying to Elune when the sun had began to creep over the horizon. As the light began to illuminate the sourroundings, the priestess was made aware of the "bubble" that was taking over Turbani. The two priests, who were as awe-struck as their leader, quickly calmed the priestess.

"Hush Elwin, we do not know what might be lurking out here." Lethand said as he covered her mouth his hand and began to pull her back towards the center of the camp.

Forsci gathered the dropped weapons and quickly decided to do a quick scan of the area as the warrior priest calmed Elwin. There were no traces of anyone besides the three of them in the immiedate vacinity, though he did find a dead rabbit to the east. He couldn't find any puncture marks, or any sign of the animal being attacked, but it had no heartbeat. Though he thought it strange, it was not a pressing concern. Once he was back in the camp, Elwin was started to regain her focus, and he sat down besides Lethand, handing over his dropped scimitar. Minutes passed, and no one spoke, but the young Forsci was too intruiged to let the silence remain.

"What is it do you think?"

Elwin looked at the bubble for a minute and then looked back at her young companion. "I have no clue what it is, or where it came from. However, I do know that it is not natural, nor is it any form of good. I felt a great pain inside of me when I first laid my eyes upon it, like a thousand knives stabbing my insides. We must be careful, and we must be swift if we are to combat this. I have a feeling whatever it is knows we are coming, and is likely preparing for us.

I also apologize for my action. It put us at danger, and startled you both. I am a Priestess of Elune, I am to be above such reactions and feelings, yet there is something about this that troubles me greatly. The High Priestess herself told me that she had never felt such a cold wave of nothingness since the great Drow War of 8379, when she herself was just a mere twelve years old. This could detirmine the fate of our country, and redefine what it is we think we know. So I caution you both, as your friend and the leader of this mission, err on the side of caution, and stick together whenever possible. We don't know how this thing is affecting the people."

The two males nodded their heads and the trio began to repack their things, Thirty minutes later, they were back on their horses and making their way towards the troubled city...

The Beningrad Morning Star
Online edition

WAR!!!! (Yet again, bloody football)

Following last nights mundane one nil victory over Rennidan, Sorthern Northland once again looks poised to be entering warfare due to football. With memories of the war (which is tehnically still ongoing because the Capitalists refuse to surrender) that stemmed from the opening of the Fort Boston Martyrs Stadium during the last World Cup, citizens of the nation have braced themselves by purchasing record amounts of Marxist literature and alcohol.

The match in itself was really nothing to get excited again. Sorthern Northland's military style tactics once again seeing little to no football actually take place, and due to the effect war style tactics have on the football pitch when the teams actually decided to kick the ball they had to resort to the long ball hoofing game. A type of play SN are by no means trained it adept in it held little reward for the Red Army, and with Rennidan attackers having guns shoved in their faces when they dared enter the Sorthern half, they found little luck as well. The deadlock though was broken after the hour mark by Lee Waywide who had come on as a sub having replaced Kim Min-Kin who injured himself after a live grenade was accidentally thrown at him by a team mate. Waywide found a long hoof up field by Jonny Sage land at his feet and needed no second invitation to slot the ball past the Rennidan keeper.

The entertainment started at the after match debriefing (or press conference as everyone bar Major General O'Reilly calls it). The Major General was asked by reporters to explain the teams poor performance to which he responded, "It's a government conspiracy, they are tampering which our equipment refusing to supply us with satisfactory equipment and worst of all they have been rickrolling the SNFA Military Junta headquarters non-stop for the past few days, an act which we feel is blatantly an act of warfare. If they want WAR! we'll give them WAR!"

When asked about this a government spokesman simply said, "Well they asked for it." An act which as expected left myself and the other two journalists and that homeless bloke who sleeps in the governments press room scratching our heads. "What could it mean?" we asked ourselves so we made our way over to the SNFA headquarters and the answer was revealed. By tanks. Lot's of them, slowly approaching the SNFA building in a slow sort of rapid way and there it began.

It seemed as though the SN government had taken the Major General's plea of "If they want WAR! we'll give them WAR!" literally and had sent in several battalions of soldiers in to displace the Major General from his throne. The actual location of the Major General is at this point unknown but he is still thought to be leading the resistance and the football team into battle in it's qualifiers, albeit from a back-seat. President Jimmy Sheridan has said, "We'll find him, don't worry about that. Our goal is to return the SNFA back to civilian control and away from this army nutter. We gave him a chance to surrender peacefully, we told him what would happened if he didn't bow down to our demands. He has failed to do that, and so we have to use force now, it's a shame but it has to be done."

How soon O'Reilly's grip on control of the SNFA will last and whether he is to be found remains to be seen tonight as SN's army bombards the SNFA with all manner of explosives and rockets and shell fire and other such army weapons as the SNFA Military Junta loyalists fight back with sticks and stones and water pistols and water bombs. One thing that is for sure though is that this country is fucking mental.

Live coverage of SN's latest war can be found exclusively on SNTV here! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD4bn5pp32w&feature=related)

Demot Daily ~ Hope Is For The Weak

The Dynamo are beginning to look like they could be the Sel Appa of this tournament, as they slip from a secure second place, within striking distance of the leaders, to now third and barely hanging onto their playoff chances. What's going wrong with this squad? They have three brilliant performances in which they utterly and completely dominate the oppisition, yet then they go and have three performances where they are downright uncordinated and very flat. Only Roma has shown his class, as he has scored in every match but one. He's constantly out there working to get into positions and to help free up his fellow strikers, but they are failing him and so is the service to the midfield.

That yet might be the answer to this lack of consistancy. The midfield is not playing well at all, not in the slightest. Perhaps retaining the Conner and Songsteel was a bad idea, or playing with just three in middle is allowing too much space for the oppisition. Whatever the reason, the midfield is the obvious weakness and it needs to be correctly quickly if the squad is not to be on the outside looking in and possibly in the Cup of Harmony, of which they are attempting to host with fellow struggling Vephrall.

The defence and the keeper have been solid, not the best that has ever been, but good enough to have only lost once, not thrice. The blame certainly can not go on the backline, though with the struggles of the midfield, you might be able to point the blame towards Floorin. Despite managing Skyhaven FC to multiple titles, he just has never really seemed all that great of a tactician, which is likely why he wasn't considered when Masteron had the job. I know those in the capital love the guy, but if he can't get this squad moving in the right direction, and quickly, you can bet your salary he will be gone before the Cup of Harmony begins.

Scorers
Insaki Roma - 8
Julius Rotherwell - 3
Maria Hart - 3
Cruril Songsteel - 3
Lea Conner - 2

Article by Rich Baker

World Cup 40 Qualifiers: 3-3-0 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) --- (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) --- (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) --- (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) --- (26)HAN

국제험담
International Gossip
Case #06 - Deja-vu

It's deja-vu, except this time we're going away to Engbec. You remember, those tank-loving homophiles from Engbec? Yeah, we've played them again. You remember what happened the first time? Yeah, not much different. It was watching the same exact game over again. Except twice the pain. It was still a draw, but they scored twice as many goals, and we were left languishing the draw for a long time. So what is it about this 167th-ranked team that we couldn't pull away from winning?

I say that it wasn't this 167th-ranked team, but the mighty gods of randomness and numbers - Bob and Margaret. You already know them. But instead of presenting the same foolish nonsense, I'm going to reveal a greater conspiracy that is out to undo the whole world as if this were some great word processor and the creators had but to click the "undo" button (or hit CTRL+z, depending on how lazy they were...). Indeed, this world is under siege by the mathematicians. Ever wonder how all of those numbers seem to match up so perfectly? Almost too perfectly. Who could imagine that the speed of light was a blistering .... km per second? Who could imagine that genetics operates with mathematical precision? Who could imagine that you could drive halfway around the world traveling at a constant speed in ... days? The fact is that when mathematicians graduate from their school, they are ordained by a secret cult that controls the world with mathematics. That's one of the reasons why in some countries, taking math courses is required, even though the majority of the general population doesn't need half of the equations brought forth by someone's arse (which by the way would happen to be Margaret's arse).

In order to free ourselves from the plague of randomness and numbers, we must first uncover this secret cult society's to control everything with numbers, from the probability that a team will win a match to the chance of scoring at any individual moment. Otherwise, all that you cherish will simply be a complex algorithm of numbers. Just imagine that gold watch on your wrist (I said imagine, not steal!). Now imagine that it were made of numbers instead. Which would prefer more - the gold watch or the gold watch made of numbers? What if I told you that the gold watch with numbers not only is a gold watch with numbers but is that very gold watch with numbers that controls the flight path of an airplane with numbers flying from some city in Gurkistan to Breese? Wouldn't you want to manipulate the watch just so that the plane traveling from Gurkistan to Breese would somehow crash land on your neighbor's cheating ex-wife's daugther's dog? I know you would - setting everything to numbers is dangerous! It means that a few people are able to manipulate the world with a simple complex change of numbers! I wouldn't want that, and neither should you!

Anyway, so that's how we drew with Engbec today. Don't listen to what Ioshido tells you at the press conference, if he ever gets to doing them again after that one reporter tried to hump his arm (but he was cute!!! I've never seen a cocker spaniel do reporting before!).

Somewhere in the Han Empire

A meeting is called between the members of the Hwarang Intelligence community. Count Yu starts off the dialogue with a boring monologue...

"... and hence this is why we must ensure that all threats are effectively neutralized before they are even allowed to materialize."

A man raises his hand. "Agent 00001, what's your problem?"

"I can't stop raising my hand after someone speaks."

"Good point. See a psychiatrist. Agent 00002. What's your report on Sorthern Northland?"

"Well, the darned bastards are getting ready for war again."

"How do we know this?"

Agent 00002 showed a map of Sorthern Northland, along with a set of charts and tables. "These charts and tables show the recent purchases of Marixst literature and booze in the major metropolitan areas of Sorthern Northland. All records indicate a recent spike in sales, as shown in this chart - a 15% increase. Judging by these indicators, they are going to go to war in a few days."

"Don't most countries buy military equipment and train soldiers?"

"Of course, Count. But this is Sorthern Northland; they're communists."

"Okay... well keep an eye on it. If recent intelligence is correct, they're the ones who invaded that one island somewhere south of here (ooc: Haenam Island). Agent 00003 - what's the news on the Mujeongbu?

Agent 00002 put away his charts and Agent 00003 stood up to speak. "The Mujeongbu are planning a terrorist attack during our football match against Casari."

"How do we know this?"

"I reason to believe this from an informant."

"What has he said?"

"He has said nothing."

"'Nothing'? What does that mean?"

"No, he hasn't said anything. Usually the Mujeongbu get really quiet on the eve of a major terrorist campaign. And there's only one thing that I can imagine that the Mujeongbu would use to their advantage. There are going to be many Han citizens during the visit to Casari, as it is the last day of qualifying. Plus, we always carry about 5000 fans with the team, plus whoever else decides to go. So there's that problem too."

"Hmm. This is not good enough, but conjecture at this point is probably better than nothing. We should warn Casari."

"I agree."

"Good. Then you write the letter and I'll sign it."

"Of course, Count."

Agent 00003 went away to write the letter, which summarily looked like this:

To distinguished members of the Casaran Intelligence Community:

We have reason to believe that the Mujeongbu are planning an attack upon Casari, to occur during the Casari-Han match on the last day of qualifying. We do not know their means or their severity, but judging on current intelligence, it seems to be really big. Bigger than the first one. We strongly encourage Casari to reschedule the match away from Casari at a neutral location until we can determine the root of our enemy's attack, as the many Han citizens traveling to Casari will be many, enough to provide cover for thge attack. At the same time, His Imperial Majesty will encourage Han visitors to stay away from Casari pending some routine quarantine to clear (ooc: we're going to say that there's a serious infestation of giant man-eating potatoes; just because it's fatally uninteresting). We hope that we can cooperate on this dire matter in the coming days to prevent a great travesty of civility.

*signed*

BTW, I'm so sorry about that one letter I sent to you guys...


Goal Scorers
3 - Jeong Jihun
2 - Kim Daeeui
1 - Kim Byeongji, Baek Jihun, An Pilrip, Yi Dongguk, Yi Yeongpyo, Hong Myeongbo

'I'm going to sit right down and...'

Not the beginning of a comedy show's 'fill in the blank' round, but originally the beginning of the title of a long-forgotten song. The answer, of course, is not the rude, crude and physically impossible feats that many suggest, but actually '...write myself a letter'.

Simeone Di Bradini was typing away, using both his forefingers - a skill he'd mastered since retiring from football - on his computer. In his fairly palatial home, bought with the riches that a lifetime of football and celebrity can buy, he lived alone with his cat, Elgar. Formerly a companion of a friend of his, Elgar was content to sleep in the sun, chase the occasional mouse and generally hang around the feet of his owner. Today it was time to sit on the desk that the computer monitor sat - actually it was all *in* the slimline, widescreen monitor, but Simeone hadn't quite got to grips with understanding that, yet.

"Meow," Elgar said.

"I told you not to sit on that," Simeone said, looking up from his frowning session at the keyboard, "but if you want to park yourself on my car keys, that's your prerogative."

Simeone reached for his coffee and took a sip, it was still rather hot, having been just freshly made. Elgar looked at the mug as it was replaced on the table and leaned towards it.

"Don't drink that," Simeone warned.

"Meow," Elgar replied,with a burnt nose and tongue.

"Told you so," sighed the ex-footballer, scratching his cat behind its left ear, "life lessons today, eh, Elgar?"

"Meow," came the firm reply.

"Now, to print!" Simeone said confidently, using the shortcut he'd learned from one of his descendants recently. It was as if the kids didn't even need a menu bar to run these damn programs. As the printer whirred and clicked into life, making all the annoying, overly-loud noises that printers do, Simeone stood.

He froze, his mind racing but body unable to move. His breath was halted, muscles unwilling to move. He could hear the blood pounding through his arteries, feel his heart as if it wanted to explode. His legs buckled and he fell back, tipping the chair over and crashing to the floor. He could barely breathe and the crash of pain reached his brain. Every one of his senses was screaming at him, but nothing would respond, his mind caged in unbreakable bonds. Simeone screamed, though he could never know if it was just in his mind, or if his cry came out of his mouth. He blacked out.

"Meow," Elgar said, looking sideways at his fallen owner.

Seven. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13593012&postcount=11)

Often considered a lucky number, and of course, part of one of our (now not mis-spelled) contender nation's names.

You might not, however, consider this particular seven lucky, as it means the cutoff point for this particular matchday. Or, of course, if you happen to be one Simeone Di Bradini.

It does, however, contain a nice link to MD7 scores.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ESPERANÇA DE VAGA AUTOMÁTICA AUMENTA APÓS VITÓRIA ARRASADORA SOBRE DANCOUGAR!

THE FIRST HALF: everybody knew that this game was a very important one for the Monopolists, and because of that the players would be going to do more than their best to try to get a positive result. The game was against Dancougar. The place, the Obelisco Monumental stadium in Lasft, the biggest of the country. And it was a game to not forget. Very exciting, full of interesting plays and, of course, goals. Cafundéu continued showing a good attack, while the defence still has to improve a lot. Now, let’s talk about the game itself. Both teams seemed pretty offensive since the first second, but Cafundéu had better attacks, using more the talent of its midfielders. This resulted in the first goal, when Da Silva found Flecha alone inside the area, and the attacker scored easily.

The first goal motivated the team a lot, and had the opposite effect in Dancougar. Although their players still had will to fight in the plays and for the ball, they weren’t expecting such an early game, and the Monopolists could grew even more. This improvement nearly stopped when Moreira got injured alone, and left the field crying. But his substitute in the game, the experienced midfielder Marcelinho, would make things even better for the red-black team. In the bench due to his bad performance in the game against Quakmybush, today he shone. In his first play in the game, he took the ball from the opponent and shot to score the second goal of the game. Minutes after, Flecha scored again, after receiving a pass from Marcelinho. Later, Dancougar decided to show that could react, and surprised Cafundéu with a goal scored by Ikeda, a beautiful volley. And later, even after Cafundéu held the scoreline for a long time, Boskov scored.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Flecha’s first goal): “And the ball goes to the attack, a fast pass frrrrrrom Silveirrrrra to Da Silva! Good ball contrrrrrrol, has some options in the attack. Makes the pass... excellent one, Flecha enterrrrrrs in the arrrrrrea with only the keeper to beat, he shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Let’s see the rrrrreplay! Flecha, number nine! Cafundéu one, Dancougar zerrrrrro! Prrrrrroblems with your shower? Want a bigger one or a morrrrre efficient one? Go to Adhemar Chuveirrrrrros, the place with the biggest number of shower options, frrrrrom the cheapest to the most luxurrrrrrious!”

THE SECOND HALF: the result of the first half, although positive for Cafundéu, wasn’t what the supporters in Lasft were expecting after the very offensive and effective start of the first half. And they were correct, after all, as Cafundéu was leading the game by three goals of difference, and had to start the second half with a dangerous situation of one goal of difference. It was time to defend better... and attack better too, to decide the game. Dancougar returned to the second half wanting the draw, or even more. It wasn’t easy. In the first minutes of the last half, the Monopolists had difficulties in invading the opponent’s area, and the supporters were worried, not so confident. But Flecha gave them what they needed, scoring after three missed opportunities (goalkeeper saves).

After the fourth goal, the players seemed calmer, and soon after the team was able to score again. Vital made a long ranged pass directly to Da Silva. Luckily, the defenders didn’t clear the ball, making the mistake of letting the midfielder stay with it. He avoided them and shot to score another goal for the Monopolists. With this goal, the victory was guaranteed. The adjustments made in the defence were working, and Dancougar wasn’t attacking well in the second half. Jorginho and Giovanni entered in the game, which showed that Meback really wanted to defend now, as the result was more than good for the hosts. It started to rain in Lasft, something that helped Cafundéu even more, as it made attacks more difficult. To end all this, Alex headed after a corner and scored the last goal of the game.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Alex’s goal): “Thrrrrree points being guarrrrranteed by Cafundéu with this victorrrrry against Dancougar, herrrrre in the Obelisco Monumental! Five goals scorrrrrred, two sufferrrrrred, a rrrrrreal goalfest, an incrrrrrredible game! And therrrrrre is time for morrrrrre things to happen, as Cafundéu has a corrrrrrner kick. Marrrrrrcelinho to take it frrrrrrrom the left side. He sends the ball to the arrrrrrea, the playerrrrrrrs go to head... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! A rrrrreplay that must be seen! Alex, number thrrrrree! Cafundéu six, Dancougar two! Feel the grrrrrreat taste and the enerrrrrrgy that only the Guarrrrrraná gives to you! A wonder that comes frrrrrrom the naturrrrre, for you to consume! Amazon, prrrrroducts made with guarrrrrraná!”

CURIOUS MOMENTS: of course, the goals were the best moment of this game, as there were eight of them, a very interesting game to watch. But we have to talk about that unexpected things, that surprised the supporters and all the others involved in this game. First, something that happened before the game. The referee, Limbader, put on his... glasses before the game! Something that left many players suspicious of his quality (but he did a fine job). Now, a question: do anyone know why did Da Silva get substituted? No, it wasn’t because Giovanni was more defensive or was tireless. It was because Da Silva needed to go to the bathroom! Images from some cameras showed the moment that Da Silva makes a gesture to the coach Caio Meback indicating that he needed to be substituted because he had the urge to go to the bathroom. Da Silva didn’t want to comment this fact.

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: no one can deny that this result was excellent for the team’s morale. Now, the Monopolists return to have hopes of getting the automatic qualification spot, something that isn’t really far away, but that isn’t close too. The coach Meback said: “This was the result that we needed to keep our motivation in a high level! Cafundéu needs to continue in its road to the qualification, and only playing in a good level we can get a place in the World Cup!” The offensive midfielder Marcelinho said: “I feel sorry for Moreira. It seemed a serious injury, he left the field crying. But luckily I could enter in the game and have a good performance, helping the team to get this important victory playing at home.”


CAFUNDÉU 6x2 DANCOUGAR

Place: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft.
Attendance: 222,080 people.
Referee: Daveed Limbader (Milchama).
MOTM: Marcelinho (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Vital, Augusto César (Jorginho 65’), Alex and Lionel; Silveira, Da Silva (Giovanni 78’), Carlos Magno and Moreira (Marcelinho 13’); Flecha and Rubiano.
Coach: Caio Meback.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/dancougar.png DANCOUGAR: Watanabe; Barclay, Weatherford (Derringer 45’) and Yamada; Boskov, Underwood (Furuya 45’), Whittaker (Vistula 60’), Morimoto and Leyton; Ikeda and Jinguuji.
Coach: Charles DuPont.

Goals:CAF: Flecha 9’/20’/67’ , Marcelinho 16’ , Da Silva 69’ , Alex 84’.
DAN: Ikeda 23’ , Boskov 38’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Hopeful SC: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva, Marcelinho and Carlos Magno; Flecha and Saulo.
Coach: Caio Meback.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Ted Garrido (Candelaria And Marquez).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

8- Flecha
3- Saulo, Moreira, Marcelinho
2- Silveira, Da Silva
1- Augusto César, Rubiano, Alex

"And as the second half of World Cup 40 qualification begins, Zwangzug hosts Vephrall."

"In the first match, Zwangzug won 3-0 in the Ellime e Vephrall, and that's generally set the tone for both sides since: Zwangzug has won its four matches since, while Vephrall dropped its next three-and then manager Umsaasad Pentove. But as soon as Bedistani Parker Law took over, Vephrall won 6-0 over Lethislavania, and most recently beat Cafundéu 3-1 in a friendly."

"Had it not been for your praiseworthy increase in competence since our visit to..."

"Vephrall?"

"That's it, that would have qualified as impressively relevant. But under these superior circumstances, it's merely useful information as...we...get the opening kickoff underway. Deguela to Terwilliger, Maini, Pinteps from Vephrall clearing it, Fihor..."

"...another Vanderpent goal, this coming off a nice header from Terwilliger. It's only the twenty-fourth minute and Vephrall's already down two-nil, they can't be pleased with this performance..."

"...Maini taps it over to Vanderpent."

"Vanderpent scored two goals in the first half, before Recasang Hetag's two goals tied the score. Looks like he's trying again now, shoots-and it's high above the goal."

"Corner kick for Vephrall, then."

"Solivasas sends it high, Fihor will meet it and blast it through."

"Vephrall takes their first lead..."

"...Cilleng moving forward, blocked by Card, Cilleng-sends it out of play. Corner kick for Zwangzug."

"The midfield moves forward-would you look at that, even Kucinich has gotten in on the act. Yes, it looks like Card is waving her forward, if anyone can put her on the offensive...well, there's the whole Tzimisces thing but I don't really know what's going on there."

"I'll explain in the postgame show. Stings aims and-Kucinich sends it in!"

"The very defensive midfielder scores her first goal for the national team, and we're tied again..."

"...Sorrah charging, Instonenext deflects but she looks exhausted back there."

"Zwangzug really hasn't been dealing with this level of competition for a while. The defense isn't moving around as much as it should."

"Illegal parking, you could say?"

"I could, but why would I want to?"

"Well, considering-oh, Sorrah just scored..."

Iyami-Ajé finally appears to repeat Terreiro de Ogum's results!

"O destino às vezes prega peças interessantes nas vidas das pessoas. Todos sabemos que o tempo só anda para frente, mas e quando o futuro repete o passado? Algo se repete, mas os efeitos não são os mesmos. Se o destino de alguém é repetir algo que ocorreu anteriormente, essa ação não terá os mesmos efeitos de outrora."

The second half of the World Cup qualifiers has started, and, in Terreiro de Ogum, the players are still having difficulties in finding the harmony between the football ability and the spiritual strength. Yes, it is not easy, but only this way we can achieve true perfection in this game. In the first two games of this second part of the qualifiers, no wrong rituals were made. The orixás were called to help the team, but the games were too difficult, only spiritual help couldn't give us the victory. But the most curious thing isn't that the orixás didn't give us the six points... it's the visit of Iyami-Ajé.

She is the orixá of the destiny, the force that leads us to our future. As everyone knows, the time only goes ahead (at least in Terreiro de Ogum it works this way, we can only go to the future). But, sometimes, when the time goes ahead, some things that happened in the past seem to be repeated. But... are they really repeated, in the same way? Of course not. Some things are the same, but the consequences can be entirely different. That's what happened in the two games of Terreiro de Ogum. The draw with Jeru FC and the loss against Capitalizt SLANI were repeated.

Coincidence? Well, only the orixás know the answer. But it was interesting to notice that our destiny was to repeat the performances of the past. Maybe we have to learn some lesson that we weren't able to learn before. Maybe the orixás will give us more chances to succeed. We know that they are with us, they know that we will ever be following them. It is a perfect marriage. Probably they're using these "coincidences" to guide us to the path of success. Let's wait to see what the orixás can offer to us, I'm sure that we won't regret this.

THE ROCKET REPORT

THAT SHOULD DO IT

Pocono City, Newmanistan- A win wasn’t necessarily expected against Milchama, but results of other games within the group, especially Kura-Pelland’s failure against Eighthgraderistan, means that any thoughts of finishing 3rd in the group have vanished. We’ve mentioned a few terms in passing, mainly “future” or even “ten year plan”. It’s now time to remember those words, because for Newmanistan, World Cup 40 is in the books. Brian Carson and company can now look forward to the Cup of Harmony. And for our great fans, we too can look forward to that Cup, as well as to the World Bowl, where Newmanistan hopes to have a better showing.

Is it official? Well no, not technically. Newmanistan could win out and get a little help here and there and end up in third place. The two teams above us, Kelssek and Eighthgraderistan are still on our schedule. But the Rockets are not between a rock and a hard place as the cliche goes, but are between that old familiar “realistically” eliminated and “mathematically” eliminated. Remaining is to play for pride, and play for the Empire. Perhaps it can start against Lithima in our next match. It was against them, after all, where qualification really began to fall apart.

Group 6 up for Grabs

With the Bazalopes only managing to scrap a draw with Legalese things are seemingly going from bad to worse for the Bazalopes. In response the BFSA has no option but to ban Johnny Kelly from all leagues and to expel him from the national team.

One of the substitutes will be taking his place and in addition the BFP will be charging him as well as his alleged accomplices in match fixing and numerous other federal crimes. The BFSA hopes that now with the situation resolved the Bazalopes can now re-focus on the their upcoming matches.

World Cup Qualifying – MD7

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/acapais.png Acapais : The Daleks 2 http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_daleks_2.png
2:1 (0:0)


Match Report:
Manaan Park, Lancaster, Kempshire – The seventh match of Acapais’s World Cup Qualifying campaign for World Cup XL was against The Daleks 2 and ended in a 2-1 win for the home side on Tuesday night. The win marks a stepin the right direction for Acapais.

Many missed chances by the home side was the story in the first half. Striker, Jose Castro twice saw his one time shots from crosses creep past the wrong side of the post. The Hearts skipper hit a free-kick into the top netting. Zach McKellar even saw ripped a left footer straight at the keeper’s feet.

Fronberry broke the deadlock early in the first half with a one-time volley that found the top corner. The captain found the poor clearance right at his feet. He scored similar strike for Highland Park against Holliday FC this past weekend. Dave Lugini hit the game winner for Acapais in the 58th minute off a stunning through ball from Agitril. Both goal scorers hit their third goal of the campaign in Lancaster. The Daleks 2 came back within one late in the second half, but that goal was their last chance of the match.

Manager, Stephanie Horne, said after the match that taking “five points out of the next three games is possible” despite playing Sel Appa on the road and then The Holy Empire at S'jet Stadium in Hearn. “Since hitting top spot is close to impossible at this point, second or third for a playoff spot is of course what we are shooting for.” By the looks of the table and last three matchdays, The Daleks 2 will surely finish 5th but Acapais will need some help if they want a playoff spot and they need a big home win against The Holy Empire.

There are two noticeable changes to the Hearts squad for the upcoming match verse Sel Appa. Miss Horne prefers Dean Chilvers to Schulenburg striker Jose Castro and David Franzman will make his first ever start in place of Holliday FC defender Bradley Sample. Although there is strong fan opposition in these changes, Miss Horne mentioned “I make roster changes with winning in mind.”

The win leaves Acapais in fifth place in their group and only one point from a potential qualification spot.

Scoring:
Acapais – James Fronberry (Kyle Rummy) 47
Acapais – Dave Lugini (Rex Agitril) 58
The Daleks 2 – Number 8 (Number 7) 89

Booking:
Acapais – Derek Sample (Caution; Reckless foul) 72

Acapais Lineup:
Starters: Hunchman O'Hare (GK); Bradly Sample (David Franzman 72), Rex Agitril, Kyle Rummy, Derek Sample; Zachary McKellar; Henry Paroe, Al Vick Osman; James Fronberry (C); Jose Castro (Dean Chilvers 76), Dave Lugini (Nick Danials 82);
Available Subs: Paul Junxton, Nick Daniels, David Franzman, Pablo, Dean Chilvers
Head Coach:Stephanie Horne

Match Facts:
Venue (Attendance): Manaan Park (47,066)
Location: Lancaster, Kempshire
Referee: Kevin Murphy

Next Match:
@ Sel Appa
Starters: Hunchman O'Hare (GK); David Franzman, Rex Agitril, Kyle Rummy, Derek Sample; Zachary McKellar; Henry Paroe, Al Vick Osman; James Fronberry (C); Dean Chilvers, Dave Lugini;
Available Subs: Paul Junxton, Nick Daniels, Bradley Sample, Pablo, Jose Castro
Head Coach:Stephanie Horne
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sel_appa.png

Injuries/Supensions:
Derek Sample – Calf strain (probable)

Acapais Goal Scorers:
3 – Dave Lugini
3 – James Fronberry
2 – Jose Castro
1 – Zach McKellar
1 – Henry Paroe
1 – Al Vick Osaman
1 – Rex Agitril
1 – Dean Chilvers

Acapais Assists Leaders:
3 – Al Vick Osaman
2 – Henry Paroe
2 – James Fronberry
2 – Rex Agitril
1 – Zach McKellar
1 – Kyle Rummy

Acapais Yellow Cards:
3 – Derek Sample
2 – Al Vick Osaman
2 – James Fronberry
2 – Jose Castro
2 – Henry Paroe
1 – Bradley Sample
1 – Kyle Rummy
1 – Zach McKellar
1 – Rex Agitril
1 – Dave Lugini

Acapais Red Cards:
1 – Bradley Sample
1 – Rex Agitril
1 – Zachary McKellar

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Acapais RP Threads
Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13391027&postcount=8)

"...5-1 the score, a brilliant redemptive display from the team we've all written off... Now back to you in the studio..."

"This really was incredible. Breathtaking, almost, except I wouldn't hold my breath over something like this, I might kill my brain cells from lack of oxygen and develop Alzheimer's when I'm 50."

"Yes, I know, it seems like... the more we belittle our national team's ridiculous efforts... the better they do, Dave!" exclaimed Dave.

"Are you talking to yourself, or have you forgotten my name again?" Adam said.

"It's like... the more we say, the better they do! As if there was some kind of relationship between this host banter and the results!"

"What, you mean like some kind of inverse probablility thing?"

"Exactly! And so really... I think the best way to ensure our predictions of doom are correct would be to shut up entirely." Dave concluded.

"Wouldn't that be tremendously unfair to our boys in the national team? Don't you want them, and by extension us, to win?"

"Turning to other more important matches..."

THE EMPIRE TIMES

EAGLES LOSE AT HOME AGAIN
Konjac Said to be Embarrassed of Team and Own Banishment

The Bloumany National football team went down to Solenial in what has been described as the worst performance by the national squad in history. The team lost 2-0, both goals were scored after the defence left their opposition strikers wide open to casually place the ball behind the goal line.

The game started poorly for the team with the defence having their work cut out for them with Solenial keeping the ball in their attacking third for 50% of the first half accomplishing 30 attempts on goal. While the defence battled bravely it was a poor pass by Holdings in which a Solenial midfield intercepted the pass and kicked it down the field to the forward line. Walker, Bricker and Moaninton had all travelled up the field for a corner kick and had taken their time coming back this left two men free as Kiamar attempted to hold off the three men on his own, Solenial managed to get their first goal from this placing it into the back of the net in the 44th minute.

The second half didn't prove any better for Bloumany with the defence split wide open by the Solenial attack and on six occasions leaving the defence wide open, the defence hadn't learnt from their first mistake allowing the Solenial to score a second goal in the 65th minute. Manager Baron Konjac found himself in trouble after hurling abuse at Walker and Moaninton with referee sending him to the stands to watch the rest of the battered eagles play. In the final 20 minutes three subs at once were made with the remaining coaching staff taking off defenders William Walker, Sam Kiamar and Richard Moaninton and putting on Johnathon Cooper (for his first game at the level), Adam Issacs and Sam Killner. The new defence line had seemed to improve with Solenial only managing three more shots at goal in the final 20 minutes.

Baron Konjac at the post match interview said "The game today was atrocious and every player is going to have to wake up and realise that making the playoffs is not going to be a walk in the park, we never had control of the game out there and the score could have been a lot higher were it not for poor accuracy by Solenial, we just laid down today and they walked all over us. The team will be working hard before the next match to ensure that this performance will never be repeated". Of his banishment he said "I should never have let my emotions take control of me I acted in an unprofessional manner, I will speak to the players involved so as not to make them perform poorly because of my abuse"

Acting Captain decided to fall on his sword "We played like a team who didn't deserve to be here today, and we as the defence played like we were still in training, I take full responsibility for this atrocious performance and I wish to inform the fans and everyone involved that we will not play like this again". The loss allowed Solenial to leap frog Bloumany taking third spot and clearing two points ahead, Bloumany are on seven points in fourth only one point behind Agroprom, second place now seems out of reach with a point difference of 9.

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

MATCHDAY SEVEN: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla.

A tale of two halfs as Qazox dominated the first half, while Iansisle dominated the second half. Qazox won the match 5-3, after leading 5-0 at the half.

The first half saw the Pheonix come out balzing as Anderson Tarricone scored a natural hat-trick, scoring in the 12th, 19th and 30th minutes, putting Qazox up 3-nil. Kallie Jaus added two goals as well in the 38th and 43d minutes, leading some to believe that Qazox had a chance to break its record of 10 goals in a match.

But whatever the Iansisle coach said at the half, worked as within 3 minutes of the second half kickoff, the score was 5-1. But the swift rejuvination of Iansisle didn't stop there as they scored twice more in the next 13 minutes, leave a score of 5-3 with just under 30 minutes to play.

But the momentum swung back into Qazox' favor when an Iansisle player was red-carded for taking a swing at the referree, after Maria Cruz-Preli accidently kicked him in the upper leg during a challenge for a loose ball. Maria Cruz-Preli was given a yellow for her high kick, and the opposing player was livid at the call, swearing the referee, who promptly showed him a yellow. But he (the Iansisle player) took a lazy swing at the ref, who whistled him off and showed him the red.

Now down a player, Iansisle couldn't maintain the enuthisiasm that sustained them after the half, and Qazox kept the ball moving swiftly and accurately until the final whistle blew.


The loss completely eliminated Iansisle, while Qazox remains in second, just 1 point ahead of Green wombat. If each team can hold its own over the next two matches, then on the last day the re-match in Green wombat could mean the difference between a playoff berth and the Cup of Harmony.


QAZOX SCORING:
Anderson Tarricone- 6
Kallie Jaus- 5 (1 PK)
Renna Valladores- 3
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Stevie Spingler- 1



SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia L 1-2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan (Location and time: TBD) QSPN2
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. Kickoff time: 14:50 QST. QSPN2
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) Kickoff time: 18:00 local (17:30 QST) QSPN

Green Wombat Daily Tattler

GREEN WOMBAT 2- Nethertopia 1

The win moved the Wombats back into third place in the group, but with 3 games left, against the other 3 teams competing for the same spots, every point is worth its weight in gold.



As of now here are the current Group Thirteen standings:

TEAM W-D-L Pts GF GA GD
Az-cz 6-1-0 19 21 8 +13
Qazox 4-1-2 13 17 11 +6
Green wombat 4-0-3 12 11 14 -3
Scotchpinestan 3-1-3 10 10 13 -3
Nethertopia 0-4-3 4 7 10 -3
Iansisle 0-1-6 1 7 17 -10

The next match is Az-cz at home, where at least a draw is needed to prevent the Gnomes from clinching the automatic berth.

World Cup 40 Qualifiers: 4-3-0 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) --- (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) --- (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) --- (26)HAN

국제험담
International Gossip
Case #07 - Yes

Yes - the immortal answer to everything. Did the Imperial Team beat Magnus Valerius? Yes. Is the Imperial Team still in contention for qualification? Yes. Is the Imperial Team still the least leakiest team in the Qualifiers? Yes. Did Jeong Jihun get another hat trick tonight? Yes. Is Ioshido doing a great job at qualification? Yes. Did I just spill my coffee over my pants? Yes. Did Bob and Margaret have a great night? Yes. Are you smarter than Eighthgraderstan? Yes. Is everything that I've just spoken a lie?

Well, let us rephrase that first thing: Yes - the immortal answer to almost everything. Why do I say that? Well, it seems to be that most people are inclined to say "yes" to almost anything, especially foreigners when they can't tell what you're saying. Roll that clip!

*rolls clip*

You idiot! I mean run the clip!

*runs clip*

Just put it in that stupid projector and show the clip!

*puts it in that stupid projector and shows the clip*

Han guy: Are you doing okay?

Foreigner: Yes.

Han guy: Do you have money?

Foreigner: Er...Yes.

Han guy: Will you give me your money and run the street screaming at the top of your lungs?

Foreigner: Hm? Could you repeat that?

Han guy: Just say yes.

Foreigner: I have no clue what you just said. Was it a question?

Han guy: Yes.

*clip ends*

Erm. Yes. That wasn't supposed to show that, but oh well. You can see the versatility of the word and its potency in confusing situations. When you're head-to-head against your enemies, you can ask them: "Did you sleep with my spouse?" They will reply, "Yes!" and then you have every right to do with him as you please. Well, as long as the mob doesn't come for you, so you'd better have good relations with the mob.

Anyway, the point is that "yes" can mean the difference between winning and losing. If you turn to your consensual partner and ask them if they're having a good time, you expect there to be one answer - "yes". There is no better answer, and no other appropriate answer. Imagine. If you're stuck in an interrogation room, and they ask you if you pulled a gun out of your *patootie* then shot a old lady running across the moon, there's only one way to answer this. If you're stuck in the middle of the sea and a man is rescuing you, asking if you've saved money switching your auto insurance to Geico, you know what the answer is. If you're randomly spewing out senseless scenarios, wondering if anyone cares to read what *patootie* comes out of your mouth, the answer is assuredly there somewhere.

And so, we must come to conclude that there is only one answer by which the Universe answers every question. That is, of course, except every other question. Are you spending your time listening to senseless talk? Yes. Are you reading random garbage just to satiate your laughing belt? Yes. Are you surfing the Internet just for the random pleasure of looking at obscene pictures? Yes. Are you an adult on the outside, but on the inside a squirming child every time someone farts? Yes. Is all of this article simply bull*patootie*? I think we all know the answer to that.


Goal Scorers
6 - Jeong Jihun
3 - Kim Daeeui
2 - Baek Jihun
1 - Kim Byeongji, An Pilrip, Yi Dongguk, Yi Yeongpyo, Hong Myeongbo

Despite allowing to early goals from Ad'ihan's Steve Bryson and Julian D'Abbo, Prux managed to get a second draw with the former Cup Hosts 2-2, thanks to goals from Mickey James and Henry Marks, both on corner kick deflections.

The draw keeps the Prawns in 1st, by a point over Wentland, whom we must face on the last day of qualifying. The next two matches are key, especially since we've beaten the teams already in qualifiying. IF we win our next two matches against Ruskastan and the eliminated Hryvinia, and Wentland manages to either lose once (or twice) or draws twice, then the Prawns earn the automatic World Cup berth.


Goals:
J7Y- 6
James Nobel- 4
Heff Jardy- 3
Matt Victor Paulsen- 2
Mikey James -1
Henry Marks-1

THE DAILY REVIEW

SEX SCANDAL
TWO INTERNATIONAL PLAYERS FOUND IN BROTHEL

The Blouman International Football team was rocked today, with allegations that two as of yet unnamed players have been visiting a brothel and engaging in orgies with up to 5 prostitutes at a time. The brothel in question is Suite 204, an upmarket brothel which is said to charge up to B10,000 a night before any special considerations are taken into account. Suite 204 has made the headlines before, only six months ago the then Deputy Chancellor of the Braxon Privy James Hummock was jailed for 15 years after being found guilty of using taxpayer money at the brothel to fund his own sexual desires.

While it is not known how many times the two players have visited the brothel, it is known that they visited after the two recent home games against Solenial and Bostopia. The FFB and the team has closed ranks after the story emerged saying that the two players are currently being interviewed over the allegations and the FFB will not be saying anything more on the issue until their investigations are finalised. While the two players identities are being a closely guarded secret by the FFB and Suite 204 who told our reporters that "All our clients information are kept private" it is known that one of the players is a regular starter and the other is a bench player who has been substituted in previous games. Manager Baron Konjac also said that he will deal with it in conjunction with the FFB and any details will be made public after the event, he also said that he had reminded all player of the "NO SEX NO BOOZE" policy he but in place at the start of the qualifying round to ensure that players will remain at the top of their game without any distractions.

World Cup 40 Qualifiers 0-2-5 (6)
MD1: SOL(58) 1-1 (173)PRA
MD2: PRA(173) 0-2 (3)ESF (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD3: BLU(64) 2-1 (173)PRA
MD4: PRA(173) 1-2 (153)AGR (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD5: BOS(24) 3-1 (173)PRA
MF1: KOS 0-0 PRA
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: PRA(173) 2-2 (58)SOL (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD7: ESF(3) 3-2 (173)PRA
MD8: PRA(173) --- (64)BLU (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD9: AGR(153) --- (173)PRA
MD10: PRA(173) --- (24)BOS (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)

Somewhere in Praz...

Bishop Kirûl Yaroslaw stood at the edge of the doors of the cathedral, having spent a good amount of time purifying his soul in preparation for his contest against the vampires of Diojiu.

(ooc: Pazhujeb - if you want to continue the vampire story, now is the best time for it).

Waček Wistern was standing outside the chamber amidst the groaning tunes of the organist. "Oř'y Waček," he said, "we have received word that the vile creatures have taken among the people of the Pazhujeb Islands a man whose recent habits seem to indicate that he is taking their form as well. Will you answer the Lord's bidding?"

"If the Lord bids me go there, and there I will go."

"I will alert the authorities of the Pazhujeb Islands to see if we can assure your passage to him. I warn you that he is only becoming, but not yet. He may not yet be susceptible to silver or garlic, and especially the word of God. But once the demon of Satan enters him, only then will he turn from the Word and Holy Icons."

"I will carry them all, just in case. Have you prepared my meals for the journey?"

"All infused with garlic of course. They are all ready. I also have arranged the accompaniment of a young altar boy to follow you. His name is Demitri, and he has stated his desire to take after your lead against the vile creatures."

"Does he not know the ways of vampires? They seek the young blood, for they have not turned completely to the Lord! We cannot take him."

"I have already arranged the Church to ordain him. It cannot be changed, or else the sanctity of the Holy and Perfect Union will be broken."

"Aye, very well." Yaroslaw was still reluctant to carry more people with him. The last time... well, he remembered the last time, and he was aware that the more people that went with him was a greater liability. Unfortunately, it had to be the one mission against vampires. He sighed as he prayed to God. "Give us strength, Lord."

"Amen."

World Cup 40 Qualifiers 0-2-5 (6)
MD1: SOL(58) 1-1 (173)PRA
MD2: PRA(173) 0-2 (3)ESF (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD3: BLU(64) 2-1 (173)PRA
MD4: PRA(173) 1-2 (153)AGR (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD5: BOS(24) 3-1 (173)PRA
MF1: KOS 0-0 PRA
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: PRA(173) 2-2 (58)SOL (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD7: ESF(3) 3-2 (173)PRA
MD8: PRA(173) --- (64)BLU (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD9: AGR(153) --- (173)PRA
MD10: PRA(173) --- (24)BOS (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)

Grand Hussite Church offers Two Scandalous Perverts Redemption

After reports of scandalous fornication from the Blouman Empire, the Grand Hussite Church has offered these two players an opportunity at redemption at the up and coming match in Prazkoy. While the two players would be kept within a monastery to be purged of their sins, their identities would remain a secret so long as they choose, and their stay was only completely voluntary. "These two men deserve an opportunity to come before the Lord and purge their souls of adulterous incest," remarked a senior member of the Church. "If the two players should accept this opportunity, we would subject them to three hours of acetic treatment, followed by three hours of confession, and concluded with three hours of recitations from the Bible. Of course, none of these acts guarantee them a return spot on the team, and whatever the FA of the the Blouman Empire should warrant as punishment to them is to their own jurisdiction. However, we would upon the conclusion of their trials offer a confidential report to the FA, offering our suggestions of appropriate punishments, if any. We are not in the business of instilling discipline, but of behavioral correction through spiritual purification."

The Hussite Church has yet to state whether this offer has been accepted or not. It is largely expected to be debated for some time, as to whether or not the recitations would be carried out in Praži or not. "If a sinner cannot recite in Praži, he has no home with God," remarked one of the Cardinals. Another of them spoke, "One of the reasons the Hussite Church is not affiliated with the Catholic Church is because we don't speak Latin. Why therefore should we force other people to speak Praži, especially those who aren't even members of the Church officially?" The debate continues.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Jeruselem 7 6 0 1 19 6 13 18
2 Dance 2 Revolution 7 6 0 1 14 10 4 18
3 Abaio 7 4 1 2 15 11 4 13
4 Novapsolu 7 2 0 5 11 15 -4 6
5 Sesquipedalianist 7 0 3 4 9 16 -7 3
6 Kalmykstan 7 0 2 5 6 16 -10 2


Kate: Hello! It's a special edition of THE FOOTBALL LIFE!
Kara: We talk table positions in Group 8. And no, we are not supposed to talk about those two Blouman Empire players found in a brothel.
Kate: Poor fellas, I suppose they had to follow rules.
Kara: You don't need brothels with Kate Sallad around.

Kate: Hey, I'm not that cheap!
Kara: Yes, you are. Always flirting around even if you know they have a partner.
Kate: I'm just having fun. Anyway, I'd charge quite a bit if I was a whore.
Kara: Well, guys would pay that much for a Dazza Dallas lookalike.

Kate: Back to what we were supposed to be talking about.
Kara: Group 8 has 6 teams like all the other 14 groups. Of course, all groups are unique due to their different make up. In Group 8, Jeruselem is in combat with 5 other teams.
Kate: Kalmykstan are on the bottom with no wins, 2 draws and 5 losses. And this team can't even score one goal per game as well, conceding more than two goals per game.
Kara: Yeah, my pick for a last spot because they are just been dreadful so far. 2 points from 7 games. See them next cup.

Kate: Sesquipedalianist in fifth place and well, aren't doing much better than Kalmykstan either. No wins, 3 draws and four losses. They have scored 3 more goals than Kalmykstan as a saving grace.
Kara: They are the better of those two bottom teams but I think they might get a win out of this cup but it's all too late for them.
Kate: Yes, these teams are definitely out of the game now.
Kara: Now to the teams that count.

Kate: Three games left meaning all team can gain 9 points in the best scenario. The bottom two cannot make the top 3.
Kara: Novapsolu, what's up with them. Two wins and five losses! A total of 6 points to be 6th and far behind 3rd spot.
Kate: I expected them to place in the top 3 of this group but losing games is no way to get respect.
Kara: They had one good win, one average win and well - five bad losses. I don't see hope. Even if they get 9 points, that would get them 15 points.

Kate: Yes, and they have play us too. Last game, we smacked them 4-2 away at their home.
Kara: I can't see them making the top 3 for a playoff here.
Kate: Neither can I. Scoring 11 goals is OK but conceding 15 is criminal for a team like this.
Kara: Now for Abaio, who should be last in this group.

Kate: I mean with four wins, 1 draw and two losses - one was to us. It's a great result for a team that rank.
Kara: Yes, we must not be complacent with this team.
Kate: Scoring 15 goals but also conceding 11 which isn't bad for team of that rank. They cannot be dismissed from making the finals.
Kara: Saying all that, they would be able to make the 5 point deficit to the best two teams. They need win keep winning but we need to drop points as well as D2R doing the same.

Kate: Nah, 3rd place for Abaio, maybe 2nd if they have some luck.
Kara: Right, 2nd placed Dance 2 Revolution aka D2R as we are calling them. Impressive form beating us once and winning all other games.
Kate: Yes, very good form! They are our biggest threat. I mean, we have scored more goals and conceded less but we must keep up our form to keep them at bay.
Kara: Defensively, 10 goals conceded but 14 goals scored so they are a scoring team.

Kate: Number one is ... well us!
Kara: Team with best attack at nearly 3 goals per game and conceding less than one goal per game.
Kate: My sister is proud of our defensive record.
Kara: She's nuts, but then defenders are crazy people. It's a wonder she isn't injured at all.

Kate: We do have to play Novapsolu but then they aren't going well.
Kara: We must win all three games and hope D2R drop points too.
Kate: We do want to avoid a playoff.
Kara: Yes, our record in playoffs sucks. Well, only Kate and Jacinta can do better.

Kate: Hey, that was cheap shot!
Kara: We are on the brothel theme.
Kate: Anyway, I'm sure I'd get the big bucks at brothel.
Kara: Some people think our team is mobile brothel these days.

Kate: We have to be good at something!

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/kirkenescourier-new.png

Bigger is better? Not for Kelssekian football

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/exhibitionplace2.jpg

Wednesday, April 09, 2008
DEVIN EAGLES, sports editor

Take a bow, Kirkenes football fans. With the national team looking like contenders for qualification, anticipation for football in this uniquely international, and hence football-loving city is now stronger than ever. And it's Kirkenes fans who helped make it happen.

If Football Kelssek's move at the begininng of this year to use smaller stadiums for the national team's home game seemed like an admission of defeat, a concession that the sport never will be as big as rugby or hockey in Kelssek, the result has been victory. While World Cup 39 didn't see much of an improvement, the team has overcome a disastrous start to World Cup 40 qualifiers to sit in grasping distance of the qualification playoffs. If they make it, it will be the first time Kelssek has gone past the first stage. And it will be due in part of the efforts of Kirkenians.

Exhibition Place, the new purpose-built stadium, has hosted most of the home games for this season and the results of the racuous, loud support they've received in Kirkenes are beginning to show. Winning or losing the crowd chanted and sang, stamped their feet to the point that rivets from the structure of the stands came loose, and filled the stadium. It's a 20,000-seater stadium, mind you, not the 60,000-seat caverns that Football Kelssek overambitiously used before this year, but the results of a full, cheering house has been tangible. Where the Skydome swallowed up the fans, Exhibition Place puts them front and centre.

So take a bow, football fans. Your phenomenal support has pushed the team onwards towards a real chance of finally making it to the next stage. Kudos, and keep it up.

A quick except of different international newsmedia across the country:

from the KaMaRi Update:
Defense‽ What defense?

Karela is located in KaMaRi, there are even players of the famous beacon of defense in the national team, but this does not mean that what people saw was anyhhow defensive. This is good news for fans - bad news however lies in the fact that it was not effective. The national team, which has the somewhat unconventional nickname kaskada'ny (Saheridinha-butterflies), came home from Tynelia with the disgraceful, albeit not really unexpected result of 0:3...

TBC

Turkic Times
Tight at the top
After Serkan Turkmen Grabbed two early goals in the Turks 2-1 win over Wijaska Island it leaves the group all but tied up with 3 games to go. Tynelia have the advantage and are favorites to automatically qualify and after Bazalonia's shocking form of recent games they are now only in second on goal difference.
Wijaska Island and Legalese are out of the tournament and the Turks will now face them at home.

Turks Cannot keep a clean sheet
It is well worth noting as qualifying goes to the home straight that the Turks have only ever kept one clean sheet. Now this has been countered by some excellent attacking and people have to understand that the communication between the defense and the goalkeeper takes time to build. They have not been helped by recent tactical changes which, don't get me wrong have been good for the teams work rate on the pitch however with the new 5 man defense to command, Iskender Sukur Kazim will have ever more issues with his lack of communication.

Last 3 games predictions!
Turks Vs. Legalese (H) W 3-0
Tynelia Vs. Turks (D) 1-1
Turks Vs. KaMaRi (W) 2-1

Uzulmez Confident
Uzulmez Yilmaz has recently said to the press that he, the coach and the team are very confident of their chances of reaching the play-offs, he said "While we are not promising anything we will be looking to make the play-offs and then from there, who knows? Anything can happen in football!" It is also helped by the fact that 2 of their last 3 are at home when they'll really count and the two home games should be won giving them 19 points, lets hope that KaMaRi don't get that lucky.

The team arrives in Lithima, and awaits its shuttle bus to pick them up at the airport and head to the hotel. However, the bus seems to be running late.

Brooker: Alright where the hell is the bus?

Carson: It’s coming, I guess.

McAllister: The South Pacific, who keeps their nation in the South Pacific?

Chapman: Over 3000 people I reckon.

McAllister: I know but it sucks, this region is just so plain. Too many nations, no originality. In a word: BORING! How does anyone live here?

Brooker: And their bus service sucks.

(Coach Carson approaches the customer service counter)

Carson: Excuse me, but we were supposed to have a bus be ready to pick us up upon our arrival so we can get to our hotel and train for our big game. Please tell me it will be here very soon.

Clerk: Shuttle bus? Call the hotel not our problem. Next?

(Carson retrieves hotel phone number and dials)

Hotel: Hello.

Carson: Yes, I’m with the Newmanistan Rockets, we arranged for a shuttle to pick us up at the airport, and it’s not here. Is it on the way?

Hotel: The who?

Carson: The Newmanistan Rockets, we booked rooms there two months ago, we’re ready to come to your hotel now, sir.

Hotel: Oh. Yeah. Sorry we gave away your rooms.

Carson: You what?!

Hotel: Yeah, the World Cup became completely unimportant to our country so it’s not really a big deal to us. We booked a dog show in your place. I apologize.

Carson: Well, didn’t you at least set us up somewhere else? Couldn’t you have called to let us know so we could have made another arrangement?

Hotel: Let me talk to my manager. (Carson is on hold for about 20 minutes). Oh yeah, we did book you at another place. Their number is xxxxxxxxxx.

Carson: Fine, thank you.

(Carson dials number)

Carson: Hello, I’m with the Newmanistan Rockets, our reservations were moved to your hotel and we would like to have the shuttle, hoping you have one, to come pick us up please?

Hotel: Shuttle? We don’t have no stinking shuttle. Take a cab.

Carson: Do you have our reservations at least? We should have 26 rooms, all singles, non-smoking.

Hotel: Yeah we got rooms for you.

Carson: Thank you, you are near the stadium where we are playing, right?

Hotel: What stadium?

Carson: Where the World Cup match is being played.

Hotel: World Cup? Oh yeah I remember a long time ago there was some World Cup interest here, don’t know whatever happened to that. Lithima is in the World Cup?

Carson: Well technically it is qualifying but yes Lithima is in it.

Hotel: Cool.

Carson: We’ll be there in about an hour.

Hotel: Ok, bye.

(Carson goes back to the players and tells them the news)

McAllister: Man, this place just continues to suck more and more.

Lewis: How could they do that?

Borsinger: I was beginning to have Sorthern Northland stuck in the airport flashbacks.

Carson: Haha, eventually, we will be in the hotel, though I have a bad feeling about this place we are going too. We’re going to rent a couple vans, and go to the hotel that way instead of taking a bunch of cabs.

McAllister: There aren’t even any hot girls here to stare at.

Carrigan: As scary as it is, Jeremy, I was thinking the exact same way.

(Eventually, the team boards the vans and heads to the backup hotel, Carson enters the lobby)

Carson: Good evening, we’re the Newmanistan Rockets and we’re ready to check in.

Clerk: The who?

Carson: The Rockets, our reservations were sent here. We’re ready to check in now.

Clerk: Uhmmm (calls for manager). These guys call themselves Rockets and they say they have rooms reserved here.

Manager: Is there a problem, sir?

Carson: Yes, I spoke with someone about an hour go and he said that he had rooms for us, 26 singles, and we are ready to check in now. I am with the Newmanistan Rockets.

Manager: I’m sorry we have no rooms for you.

Carson: But I just spoke to someone..... (gets cut off)

Manager: Sir, we have no rooms for you if you are not with the dog show. Must I call the authorities?

(Carson leaves, and briefs the team again)

Lewis: This is unbelievable.

McAllister: Remind me to never come here again. A damn dog show is more important then a World Cup qualifying game?

Peterson: I picked up there paper guys, the first 8 pages. All dog show. No mention of our World Cup game until page 32 and its only 36 pages. And even that, it’s only a very small paragraph on the bottom of the page, underneath a picture of a dog.

Carson: Well, looks like we’re just gonna have to drive around and take what we can get.

(The team drives around trying to find a hotel with no luck)

Carson: Guys, there is only one option. We sleep in the vans.

Brooker: No.

Carson: What, no?

Brooker: No, we all adopt a dog. Take it with us and check in and pretend we are with a dog show instead of being football players.

Lewis: Just one problem with that theory. What do we do with the dog once we get a room, they won’t let them back on the plane.

Brooker: Uhmmm....

Chapman: Sell them!

Carson: We can probably get by with just one dog to take in the lobby.

(The team drives around to adopt a dog, and eventually decide on a nice looking poodle, and try a ritzy establishment near the stadium).

Carson: Good evening, we’re here for the dog show. I got a bunch of people and we’ll need 26 rooms. Isn’t Fluffy just an adorable dog?

(Five hotel employees gather round the dog to admire it)

Carson: Yes, now about the rooms?

Hotel: Certainly, sir.

Carson: Thank you.

(Finally, the team is able to check in, and get some sleep. As for Fluffy? Perhaps if the Rockets win, they’ll have found their good luck charm. Anything, to turn their luck around)

'And now on PBS5, a brand new game show for Wednesday nights where contestants can win up to one million kaks - simply by answering questions from primary school. But are you smarter than a ten-year-old?'

Flick to NTV1. Eighthgraderstan v Kura-Pelland is just about to kick off! Oh, now that's either genius or madness from Super6 to launch the show here.

Kevin Smythe is into the otherwise unchanged lineup for the teenagers. Kura-Pelland are fielding practically a reserve side.

Flick to PBS5. 'Tonight, contestants will have the chance to win up to a million kaks simply by answering questions right out of primary school textbooks.' Said host is... hang on a second! The host is former Kura-Pelland wing-back Alan Grahams! This is where it's at!

'Our first contestant is Sheila McGyver!' Oh dear, we knew PBS5 were crazy and image-obsessed but this takes the cake. She's not wearing that much, and as soon as she opens her mouth she sounds like the dumb blonde.

Can't watch this... over to NTV1... what the hell? Eighthgraderstan just scored! Kevin Smythe in the third minute!

NTV2... is airing a rerun of a documentary on the discovery of Kura-Pelland by Vephrese miners.

Tele3... soap. Tele4... adbreak. PBS5. Rules are explained. Eleven questions, three lifelines, at least they didn't steal the RL prize tree completely...


K500,000
K250,000
K125,000
K60,000
K30,000
*K15,000* (guarantee point)
K10,000
K5,000
K2,500
K1,000


Yawn. How Millionaire. There's even three lifelines.

Flick to NTV1. It's still 1-0. To Super6. Oh that's neat - they're airing a chick flick against the footie. That's great programming. It's also incredibly sexist. At least it's a Kura-Pellandi film, although I thought all romantic comedies had the same plot but with different outfits for the brainless cuties to wear.

Speaking of which, to PBS5. She's on the K1,000 question. Age 6 Geography.

'What is the capital of Vephrall?'

She guesses... Speilers. IT'S MEICE, DARLING, IT'S MEICE! She's locked in with Speilers. Fortunately the suspiciously stage-school-cute kidling got it right and 'saves' her. That's not a lifeline, that's a bailout.

Flick to NTV1. It's still 1-0. And the Kura-Pelland manager has no lifelines... well OK one. 'Win the playoff'.

The two games go on in suitably unbearable fashion; Sheila 'drops out' with K5,000 more than she deserves, and Eighthgraderstan go 2-0 up courtesy of a Bo Phelps own goal.

Ah, that's better. NTV Sport 1 are airing Milchama's trip to Newmanistan. They're 2-0 up already themselves... oh blimey it's 3-0. Who needs Avi Belmowitz when you've got a team of godmods?

Eventually that game finished 6-2, Eighthgraderstan won 3-0, the Kura-Pellandi manager has been sacked, and near-universal consensus is that Keith Matthews or Vincent Stilgoe will take the job, the former being favourite. The stand-in manager is Michael Jirven, the assistant manager; he really is a stopgap, these matches have only KPB points at stake frankly.

The NationStates Inquisition: Yafalonia & Bazor 2

Now 10% more unexpected

Now we bring you bring you a look at the up coming potential hosts for the Cup of Harmony. What is the cup of harmony, well it's a football tournament for those that just couldn't make it to the proper. Well, really who cares what these people do? I mean your not good enough... actually well it seems I just got information that Yafalonia & Bazor 2, may not only be participating in this "tournament" as their birth in the World Cup is by no means certain. Not only that but we might be hosting it.

So let's start again.

The Cup of Harmony is a prestigous football tournament, here a list of some of the more famous teams to win the tournament Kylaai, Hockey Canada and Bostopia. Nations are selected through a gladiator type competition known as the "World Cup". The Cup of Harmony is a fierce battle for domination where the competitors face numerous challenges through the matches that are played against opponents. Some of these games include "Pyramid", "Duel" and my favourite "The Eliminator".

The hosts are selected through a rigourous selection process including physical stamina and health checks. Hosts take on the names and personas of various "characters" such as "Viper", "Angel, "Thunder" and "Couta". It's these personas that battle the competitors and earn the competitors points.

As such the host battle is fierce, 4 teams of potential hosts are battling it out in a politcal battle royale 4 enter only 1 leaves. Just some of these Host teams are listed below

*Dephrall, does that sound a bit like 'Devil' to you. It does to me. A vote for Dephrall is a vote for the Devil!

* StarKry, KryStar. However you say it Starblaydia and Krytenia are hosting the World Cup already so it's greedy of them to want to hold another tournament, such as the CoH. Give it to someone with real Vision. VOTE FOR FAIL!

* Sel Appa and East Antairees - Oh wait, they withdrew.... So if you do vote for them your a n**b. (Ed: No swearing, okay?)

* Yafalonia and Bazor 2, yep that's us. The only real choice for a true Cup of Harmony experience. +/- 5.43 Style modifiers. Yes, we really are that stylish and the 5 group, group stage format makes us stand out from the crowd. Vote 1 FAIL. It'll be interesting! The only hosts that are using un-buggy NSFS 2.0.6... Whatever that is.

* AA, Adih'an and Acapais, sounds more like Alcoholics Anonymous than a real bid. "Hi, my names John and I'm an alcoholic" then goes and kicks a ball in a net. "Hi John". Yeah, what a great bid.

We here at The NationStates Inquisition: Yafalonia and Bazor 2 have unexpectidly decided to support FAIL in their bid and so to help them, we've produced a number of how to vote cards. However as we've had a problem with the printers which resulted them to be shipped underwater in a leaky wooden box.

And so instead here present you with the official "How to Vote" card for the CoH Host Vote

1: FAIL
2: Sel Appa, East Antairees Ad'ihan and Acapais
3: Dephrall (even though you're voting for the Devil)
4: StarKry

Thank you and goodnight....

Hard fell 3-0 to Zwangzug

KENNETH: With four games remaining in the first round of World Cup 40 qualifiers, teams in the danger zones are finally starting to check the table that much more often, run through the various scenarios, and above all, worry about their chance of making the qualifying playoffs. Dancougar is one of them, sitting in third place, three points above Gweridijongya and Krasslor. Krasslor visited the National Stadium last night looking to close the gap. Nearly taking the lead in the eighth minute. The cross, the header, but Watanabe makes the diving save to keep it scoreless. Counterattack, for the Wings, twenty third, Hideo Ikeda with a low drive. Rebound, chance, but over the bar as he gets too much under the ball.

SCOTTY: Minute thirty eight, best chance of the first half for either team, it's Benjamin Whittaker taking the free kick. Over the wall, curves for the post, and punched clear. The Krasslor defense, talk about stepping it up, they knew their job. Eight attempts by the Wings in the first half, but only three made it on goal, and all were stopped cold. Second half, minute fifty six, and the Wings are on the attack again. Boskov, to Leyton. Leyton, through ball, Jinguuuuuuuuuuuuji! Shishio Jinguuji nets his third goal of qualifying to make it 1-0, he beats the offside trap that was working so well for Krasslor, and slots it home.

KENNETH: Krasslor devoting more time and energy to the defense, really generated no offensive pressure in the second half. Wings looking to make it two. Hideo Ikeda gets open inside the box but sends it wide, and Jericho Leyton taking a crack from twenty five that takes a deflection wide. All in all, eighteen attempts on goal in the game, nine on target, eight saves by the Krasslor 'keeper... 1-0 is the way it finishes.

SCOTTY: We peek at the results of the other games, and they go in the Wings' favor. Cafundeu takes down Hopeful SC in a 4-1 romp, and Quakmybush defeats Gweridijongya by the minimum 1-0. So the Wings keep pace with the group leaders, who have both assured themselves of at least a playoff berth. The Wings are looking a little more secure with six points over Gweridijongya, but are they really, Steve Teebone?

STEVE (pre-recorded tape): Going up against a Quakmybush team on the road in their next World Cup qualifier, a team which is literally starting to find its identity, the Wings will be hard pressed to improve on their record. Matthew Graves is really clicking for that Quakmybush offense, which plays a lot of forwards, and Clifford Baker can be the X factor in any game. And I'm not convinced that we saw a Black Wings team last night that is aware of the situation they're in. They generated a lot of offense against Krasslor, but it took nearly an hour to solve the defense and actually net a goal. We were expecting more from them coming off of that beating against Cafundeu, and they need to remember that every point they drop over the next three games brings them one step closer to an early summer vacation.

SCOTTY: Three games remaining, then, and we can probably call this crunch time. Away to Quakmybush; the pools like the home team, and we're inclined to agree. But home to Hopeful SC and away to Gweridijongya, if the Wings can snag three or four points from those matches, they might be all right.

*******************************************

"Tango two, are you in position?"

"Tango two, roger."

"Bravo three?"

"Bravo three, roger."

Commandos waded through the brush of the Mount Fujiko State Forest, an overgrown mess of weeds and trees and other plants that generally make up forests. Patterson decided it was best not to mess around with these guys. Various networks of his had confirmed Russ and Peter's assertion that something weird was going on in and around Milton. Patterson pulled to the side of the road, which ran right through the forest and up into the mountains. There were dirt access roads all through the woods, and another car was already there blocking if off.

"Hey, chief!" Patterson exited the car and was welcomed by the men already there. Russ and Peter followed.

"Are the others in?" he asked.

"Yeah, they just started in. We're blocking the access roads so they can't drive out."

"All right, boys, you're going in from this side," Patterson said. "But stay off the road a ways."

"Right, right," said Russ, pulling on a camouflage jacket handed to him by one of the others. Peter did the same.

"With this, Operation Brushfire is all in!"

..........

"Hey, be more quiet, will you?" whispered Russ harshly. Peter nodded, and took another step. He snapped another bundle of twigs. Russ stopped moving and leaned against a tree.

"Dude, I can't help it, they're everywhere I step!" Peter whined, stumbling to another tree to rest.

"If you'd just follow me like I told you, you'd miss it!" Russ replied.

"Okay, okay, that's all right, we're still pretty far from the cabin, so we can start over," Peter said, stretching his arms. "Run deep, run silent. I can do this."

"We should approach from different sides, too," said Russ. "We're too close like this. We need to make them think there's more of us." He grabbed his walkie talkie. "We can use these to sync up."

Peter pointed at Russ. "I like it. We need codenames."

"Okay... uh," Russ fumbled, "I can be Liquid Lizard. You can be... uh..."

"Solid Snake?" asked Peter.

"No, no, that's a terrible codename," said Russ dismissively. "Gaseous Gecko, though, that has a sweet ring to it."

They split up and went off. Peter was still stepping on twigs, just not as frequently. Russ sighed. Oh well, perhaps he could draw their attention while he came up behind them. There was supposed to be another two-man team approaching the same cabin they were. Three cabins in all were occupied, and they would all be swept at once. After about ten minutes, it came into view...

“Brother James we have triumphed again. The Lord of Scores was with us this day!” Brother Andrew exclaimed excitedly as he ran into his superior in the hallway.

“Oh and what sort of blessings did he grant his faithful this day?” Brother James replied, knowing his own weakness he had made a vow to never actually watch a soccer match on television since he realized that would cause him to start yelling at the TV like any other fan. The lLord of Scores might be displeased at such a show of a lack of faith and turn against the team so Brother James had to make this sacrifice for the good of the national team.

“3-0 against KaMaRi. The Lords of Scores turned his back on our opponents for His team’s benefit this day. I think he may have been displeased that they overused his generosity in our first match. We’re four points clear over everyone now!” Brother Andrew went on happily.

“Perhaps. Or perhaps these unbelievers offended Him in some way by changing their name. Perhaps it was ‘Rejistania’ that was deemed worthy of His blessings and not this renamed land.” Brother James wondered aloud.

“That is true Brother James, I had not considered such a thing. Changing their name would be kind of like turning their backs on the Lord of Scores who did them so well that they could tie us a 3 our first time through.” Brother Andwer considered.
“That is why we must continue to strive to keep the favor of our Lord. While He is generous to those who believe He does not wish to be taken for granted like anyone else. And His wrath is fearful as we learned in our days of ignorance before His truth was revealed. You may be a bit young but in the early days Tynelia would go five or six matches without a single goal.” Brother James explained.

“Impossible!” Brother Andrew declared.

“No it is true. I saw the return of those pagans feeling their way to His truth in the early days. They actually preferred low scoring matches except perhaps for Masterson. No doubt he was a sign that the Lord of Scores was ready to be seen but we were not quite ready. A pity because of all our players Masterson would have most enjoyed the wide open ways of the match that our Lord preaches. Now he is too old and set in his ways to accept us. Though he has been heard to say he’s enjoyed these matches this time around. Perhaps a dull glimmer of our Lord shines within Masterson even now.” Brother James wondered again.

“I don’t believe how all these people can be so blind. Well when we beat Bazalonia next match we’ll clinch at least a playoff spot. And if the other two teams at 13 both lose we clinch the group title and get an automatic spot in the cup!” Brother Andrew decided getting excited once again.

“Patience Brother Andrew. Look not the blessings of the Lord of Scores in the mouth as KaMaRi did or the same result might occur to us. This will be a tough match as we are on the road, but it is said the Lord of Scores enjoys travel so all may be well in the end. Accept these things as they happen and don’t anticipate them Brother. That leads to the path of disappointment and despair.”

“As you say Brother James. I don’t suppose you will join the congregation for the match this time?”

“No Brother Andrew. I shall take the match time to pray to Our Lord that he may grant us the full allotment of His blessings as I have before. I trust you will let me know when the match ends will you not?”

“Of course I will Brother James.”

Coach Banama: OK everyone gather round. Been a tough couple of matches these last two. Only one point and Engbec is only two behind us now. But we’re not worried are we?

Fya Panai: Well yeah coach we are. I mean we were so far ahead at the break and now we’re on the verge of blowing it.

Coach Banama: Don’t forget the first half. We only won one of our first three but then came back to win the next two to pull away from everyone else. I don’t see why that can’t happen again.

Goru Lyani: The losing part?

<Minna Dawo smacks Goru upside the head>

Fya: Dammit that’s my job Minna.

Minna: You were too far away so I filled in.

Fya: Thanks

Goru: HEY!

Coach Banama: Ok settle down and think about it. We had given up six goals in our first three matches. The last three we’ve only given up 2 so our defense is stiffening up. We lost to the top seed of the group by a single goal both times. The Han will be a tough one coming up but whatever happens there do you think you can’t beat the bottom two seeds to finish up? Including the same Engbec team that’s chasing us? Sure it might be tough to win the group now but all we have to do is make the playoffs. And we’re still two points up as far as that goes too.

Goa Kitii: At least we’re up two not down two.

Coach Banama: That’s right. THEY have to catch us. We’re still in control.

Tali Vindu: I owe these Han guys anyway. THREE goals they got last time. That was embarrassing.

Coach Banama: That’s right you guys owe these people. We’re starting to get things going now so let’s prove it with a big effort next match and see if we can steal some points.

Minna: I need to score more too. Didn’t get any good shots last time we played them, it was horrible!

Coach Banama: That’s why Han Solo over there is going to be starting along side of you.

Li Chu: What two forwards coach? We always mess that up.

Coach Banama: Goa you’ll be sitting to start. Let’s see if we can get some offense going this time.

Goa: Bah why did my sister ever marry you anyway?

Coach Banama: My rugged good looks of course.

<Goa throws her sneaker at the Coach>

Coach Banama: See overly violent that would be red cardable in the match. Good thing you’ll be sitting.

<rest of the team laughs so no one notices Fya sneak up behind Goru and give him a rat-tail with her towel until he yelps in pain>

The Team had always wanted to go to an English pub and chose one comically called 'The Happy Turk' Sinan and other young players weren't allowed to come because of their age. As the entered they saw a happy man with the words "Michael Rowden Owns" on his shirt and as they entered he screamed "First rounds from the new comers!" and he rang a bell. William-Fabro asked "Why are you so happy to see us your from the East Aintairees!"
"Well since football went down hill back home I decided to set up shop here, what can I get you?"
"Raki please"
"Sure thing!"
It was at this point a drunk Legalese man came up to them "Your going down" as he hiccuped.
William pushed the man over with ease as he left the pub with red haze in his eyes...

The children of Zattu, nine hundred forty and five.
Ezra 2:8


“…ooses out to Ma, and Ma will find Dobson again, wide on the left. It’s all pretty sedate now; the Lovisan heads really have dropped. Oh, time for a bit of showboating there from Dobson! And he’s given it away to Andrzej…”

“Ark ent seed honour Lee bean nappy wee thar’, Mike!”

“Oh, he’ll get a ticking off for that undoubtedly Tom, but it is four-one; I think they can probably afford to get away with it. It’s still with Andrzej… It was Andrzej, wasn’t it? I do wish they’d tell us what these players are called…”

“Ah leek Jaroslaw butter.”

“Yeah, although it’s pronounced Yarro-Slav, I think, Tom… Anyway, it’s Pawel wide on the right, crosses for Waldemar, headed out by Williams… Only as far as Tomasz, but he’s hounded off the ball by Mengucci…”

“Hiss bin eggs cell ent cist come a nun, hanty?”

“…out again to Dobson. Yes, Ben Head was looking pretty lethargic towards the end there, I suppose some taxing league fixtures… Fred Ma puts it out of play, there… Some taxing league fixtures have really taken it out of him, clearly was responsible for Piotr’s goal in the sixty-fifth minute… If you’re just joining us while Caras receives some treatment there, the story of the game really did belong to C&M, one of the best away performances for a long time… Ignacio Vélez opening the scoring on fifteen, he’s since been sub’d… Wasn’t really involved much in the game to deal you the truth, Ramiro Novo added the second… Although it’ll probably go down as a Dmitrij own goal. And then it was Dobson and José Luis Sosa in the second half, Lovisa really couldn’t handle the Big Blues’ left wing. Caras actually looks in quite a bad way here…”

“Hist ill ruby nissth aye, Mike…”

“He is, and that’s the last thing Donnelly needs really with Cassumba Domingos out for the rest of qualifying too… Doesn’t look like he’s going to be able to continue actually, that’s a real blow…”

“Pobl-y-joust up recourse shun, Mike.”

“No, you’re probably right… Anyway, Pawel has it now, under pressure from Sosa but he gets the cross in, but out again, by Williams… Really has been immense today, the Turki… Waldemar lines up a shot! Cannons back off Young, Mengucci can’t control it, out again to Pawel… I’m not sure if this is Lovisa’s indomitable spirit we’re seeing here or an exhausted C&M, but anyway… The substitute’s making a good run here, what did we call him?”

“Pádhraig.”

“Pá… Really? Anyway, the ball’s run as far as Mengucci, out to Rául Vélez, playing wide on the right, this is what we’ve been turned to… His forward pass intercepted by Andrzej-Jaroslaw and played through to Pádhraig who’s past Williams and SCORES LOVISA’S SECOND!”

“Oh! Thar sim Terry Bell diffendin there, Mike!”

“And it’s just like the aye-ayes game, Tom, we dominate for seventy-something minutes, but after that we’re left just holding on… Williams lost his man there, but that’s a poor save actually from Oberon Martinez there, looking at it again. He just flaps at it… And I think actually he’s injured himself in the process… Gosh, they’re dropping like flies out there at the moment… Yeah, he’s definitely indicating a problem with his finger, but unless they want José Luis Sosa going in goal he’s going to have to carry on… I think he’s explaining as much to Peter Hanson… Yeah, he’s just going to have to carry on…

Many miles away Tom (no relation) Redway winced, and rubbed his calf. (An injury of the muscle thereof, not a small cow.) He felt rather guilty for feeling it, but he was ever-so-slightly pleased that he wasn’t going to be the only one missing games like this through injury. He certainly knew how Martinez felt though, having had to play through the pain against the El din Marbles only days earlier. They’d left him here in Clotaire to recuperate, but it sounded as though he’d be needed come the visit of Bettia. There was no way Obby would be allowed to play in goal with a broken finger, if that was what he had, and Sully looked in a pretty bad way an’ all. And as for the others, Iggy and Ben an’ that… They looked as shattered as ‘Redders’ felt.

An incoming text message interrupted a yawn, and he took his eyes off the television for a moment to dive, painfully, towards the bedside table. Ma-Gl hadn’t got in contact for at least thirty minutes, which was unusual for the young Az-czzer woman without whom Tom felt truly empty. But it wasn’t her; merely his Port of Clotaire team-mate, defensive partner and captain Natalie Instonenext offering up “Ferret”. Tom smiled, thought for a few second, and replied with “Pangolin”. It wasn’t an inspired contribution, but he was too tired to think more than five moves ahead.

There was a sharp rap at the door and Tom crawled off the bed and hobbled over to it. On the other side stood a forgettable-looking woman of indeterminate age, with a prickly nose and mildly eccentric teeth. She frowned at him.

“Right. Gosh. What a lot of rooms this place has.”

He sighed. “D’you want an autograph, luv?”

“No. Well, sort of. Um, are you the one screwing the gnome?”

“I… Uh… I might be.”

“Good. Right then. Hi. I’m Sukie Rohaert. Tom Redway – How would you like to change the world?”

He stared at her. “Again? You’re not fucking serious?”

“Well, I might be exaggerating a tad… We can certainly save a few individuals, I think. Unless I’m completely wrong, in which case…”

“Oh…” Tom flapped his arms irritably. “Can I watch the last ten minutes of the game first?”

Sukie folded her arms in the doorway. “How much stoppage time do you think there’ll be?”

“A couple of minutes?”

“Alright then. And not a second more! My sanity is at stake…”

Breaking news, William-Fabro under arrest
The Turkic footballer was detained after having a fight with several members of the infamous "Black Crescent Crew" who were all knocked out by the time police officers subdued him.

It is reported that his eyes were covered in a drug known as Red Haze which could have been applied by a small spray. He is currently held by the police and is so under the charge of possession and use of a class G drug which could result in a sentence of up to 20 years by which time he would be far to old to play.

Red Haze causes a massive amount of adrenaline in the system and cause violent out burst while providing sex-quality emotional status. His team have protested his innocence as Sinan Kose has offered a large amount of Lira for his release.

Members of the team were drinking in an English pub ran by an East Aintairean fingers have been pointed at the land lord and the polis have began an investigation.

The Turkic team and East Aintairees have a history of aggression towards one another. William-Fabro will only be released at the earliest before the Tynelia game.

Coach Alhrem has stated in a calm demeanor " This is an embarrassment to the team establishment and while I have petitioned the Sultan in person for his release, they will do this by the book."

This limits Alhrems depth for the attack position as he will possible be looking to mix the team around for tonights game, since he was reportedly pleased with William-Fabro's performance's in training.

The Unaclaimed Newspaper

Knights Defeat Kereca Yet Again

Well last night in a dark alley behind Mr. Trumps building in Kereca a futbal match was played. As the Kerecan gangstas looked on the Purple Knights would win 2-0.

Golas were scored by star striker John Kitna, and pygmy puff shooter A. F. Falcon. Both goals were scored in the last 20 minutes of the game. The knight schooled the young Kerecan team in the art of alley Futbal.

The next match for the knights is versus the team right behind them in thrid in group ten of qualifying, the Golden Wolves of Yafor 2. In the first match the game went unsettled at 1-1. After that the Knights face the last place team Aqua Team Hungerland. A extremely absaent team in a for sure win said a spokesman. Finally in the finale at Atlantea Collesium, or X islan Metropark, whichever the Northern Bettian squad in an expected true qualification match.

Growing Pains Require Action Off the Ball

As World Cup qualifiers progress and teams begin counting points and calculating magic numbers, one thing that can get lost in the shuffle is the football itself. The Dancougar Black Wings, we're told, are a more competitive side despite fielding a starting lineup that's half composed of college students, some with less than two years under their belt. Yet they sit six points clear of fourth and look like they'll make the playoffs. Those results, precarious as they are, are good enough for the national team's sophomore run, but they continue to mask reality - this team is not ready to compete with the big boys.

Yes, there was the opener against Cafundeu, a 5-3 goal-fest that got the entire country on its feet. Since then, Cafundeu has played the kind of high-tempo game which was expected of them, and have only stumbled against the group leaders, Quakmybush. The Wings, meanwhile, came off of their high quickly by drawing at Krasslor and losing to the leaders at home. That tells me that the win against the Monopolists, a top ten side, was a lucky fluke. They got the bounces, they had the home fans behind them, but they really weren't the more skillful side.

The college game has improved over the last four years. The introduction of the spring tournament has allowed players to compete in a more high-stakes atmosphere against top teams from all over the country. This has forced programs that wish to be competitive to recruit and refine their talent more effectively and efficiently. It is precisely those schools that provide most of the players on the current World Cup team, and past matches against college competition from Qazox and Vephrall have shown that Dancougar's players are indeed among the best, if not the best, at their level.

But that's exactly the problem. The World Cup is not played at the college level. Is is a gathering place for top professionals from all over the world. Dancougar's college players can hang around and occasionally played threatening football, they can only be expected to really compete against second-tier teams. It is true that this Black Wing team is better conditioned, and there is much to be said for its youth and energy. But in the second match against Cafundeu, and especially in the Turtle Cup, it was painfully clear that there was an immense difference in class.

The refinement and constant improvement offered by the top professional leagues can be the only explanation. For years, the competition from other players as forced the best among them to hone their talents and continue to improve. The drive to succeed at every level, week in and week out, gives them an unquenchable desire to be the best. The fact of the matter is that those players have been going at it for longer than most of Dancougar's roster has even been in the game. They have been for generations. The top nations in the world have created a talent pool so deep and a pipeline so long that even their second and third teams could run with the best in lesser-developed countries.

In Dancougar, however, that pipeline leads to no pool. Instead, college players are like lemmings running towards the inevitable cliff of business and industry. After graduation, players wither away into shells of their former selves. Amateur games against local sides are all they have left. Some, like former national team defender Tony Travers, have become coaches at their alma mater. But most players are never heard from again. It is a true shame that the hundreds of players who graduate from schools in Dancougar every year just become statistical footnotes in what is still a short football history.

Currently, only eight men from Dancougar have been judged worthy of a career overseas, and only five of them made it back to the roster for World Cup 40. In four years, we will see another team that is almost completely new, built by pulling together the top players from the top teams at the time. There is no way to predict who will make up the roster or if they'll be what coach Charles DuPont is looking for. The college game is itself stable, but the national team is anything but. Given its constant flux and hard cap on experience, how can this team ever aspire to join the ranks of the World Cup regulars?

A professional league is the only solution. I imagine that the number of players passing through the college system is large enough to support a healthy league pyramid at least two layers deep, and although it can never hope to compete at the same level of nations such as Cafundeu, Elves Security Forces, or the Unified Capitalizt States, it can provide the stable talent pool that Dancougar sorely needs. Once players are given more than four years to develop their game, the overall level of talent in Dancougar is sure to increase and provide the national team with more options.

But in order to improve in the sporting realm, there must be action in the political realm. Football is an expensive business. Even now, colleges are pulling in incredible amounts of capital from ticket sales and merchandise, and this has allowed them to improve and expand academic and athletic programs. However, the government is not keen to allow for-profit entities to accumulate that kind of wealth. A professional league, under the existing economic model, would be regulated like any other corporation, subject to the same laws that cap profits and require the excess to be pumped into public works. Clubs are in a wonderful position to make a difference in their communities, so I don't see that as the issue. The problem is that a team would have a hard limit on what they could spend on players, which would create plenty of parity within Dancougar but make it difficult to attract and retain top players.

But the demand is surely there. The popularity of college football, the World Cup, and of foreign leagues shows that the people want a sporting infrastructure. They want to field a competitive side that they can be proud of. It is up to the government to either relax its stance on professional clubs as private corporations or to come up with a compromising model which allows those interested to move forward. One that has gained some favor is one which provides a salary cap but also permits teams to sign a limited number of 'exempt' players, who are allowed to have larger contracts.

On Sunday, the Dancougar Black Wings tackle Quakmybush in a match that could go a long way in determining whether or not this team makes the playoffs. While most of their players are keeping fit with their professional teams, some of Dancougar's are involved in the ongoing spring tournament, while others are not playing any football at all. We will see which is the fresher side come Sunday - the spry youngsters or the experienced group leaders.

Jay Adonis is a sports columnist for the Lakeport Times, and is also a regular panelist on DSPN's Around the Horn.

The media blackout still held and the vast majority of Wentland was waiting to find out how the team had done against Hryvinia. The mobile phone network collapsed when the first goal was scored and all anyone knew from the 27th minute was that Wentland was ahead.

Finally some bright spark in the stadium had the idea of issuing smoke signals. The principle was simple enough. White smoke for Wentland goals, black smoke for Hryvinia goals.

And when in the 72nd the second goal was scored he simply set light to a pile of dry straw left in the corner of the stadium for the police horses.

The problem came in the 92nd minute when Hryvinia pulled a goal back. Needing to set fire to something that caused black smoke, he set fire to a woollen cloak purloined from a marauding pensioner.

The consequence was a pitch invasion from an over-exuberant fire brigade and the referee hastily calling a halt to proceedings.

It turned out to have been a futile exercise. No-one had a clue what the signals meant and instead the weather forecasters were even more inaccurate than usual.

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%201.PNG

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Tertius Shajarrayam

New Interview With Chaya Vuhumkara, Striker Says He Wants Transfer

After Chaya Vuhumkara returned from his five-match suspension for misconduct, his first match back in the starting eleven saw him net the only goal for the Urchins in a three one loss to the Archregimancy. New Eenadu correspondent Sudhir Bhay, formerly an employee of the so-called excellent insect research jounral The Entomologist, now affliated with this great newspaper, had the opportunity to sit down with the troubled but talented young striker in the ornately decorated interior courtyard in the center of Vuhumkara's Lammachi mansion.

Sudhir Bhay: Thank you so much for sitting down with me, Chaya.

Chaya Vuhumkara: Yeah, no problem, man.

SB: Now, let me say this right off the bat: many readers of Eenadu will be absolutely shocked that you gave this interview with us. Why do you think that is?

CV: Well, I have always had a difficult relationship with the press, Sudhir. That's pretty commonly known. And I won't get into the reasons for why I feel frustrated so often, but I think it's pretty obvious.

SB: I don't. Please, if you don't mind...

CV: Well, I don't know... it's just that so often I feel like the press prys into my personal life to an unnacceptable level, you know? And I don't like being told that I don't try on the pitch anymore, because I do.

SB: Well, let me just cite one of those criticisms, because I agree, they are there, but I want to help you defend yourself specifically. Take for example, your recent suspension.

CV: I'd rather not talk about that-

SB: What's that?

CV: I said I'd rather-

SB: Oh, yes, I agree, Gatorade is overrated. Anyway, to get back on topic, how do you respond to criticisms that you cared more about drinking during the Matchday 1 game against Beer Served Here.

CV: Um... all right, fine. I believe that I am commonly underused. And let me just say, I don't think coach Oberlander has been too bad about this, or the national team in general... but I do think I'm completely underappreciated at Lammachi. I've said it to several local media correspondents, but f%&k it, I'll say it for the international community to hear as well, I would very much like to be transferred away from Lammachi Zafaryab Ludujat. I feel like there is a lot of emphasis put on creating team chemistry at the club, and that's all well and good, but when you have a player who's as good as I am, I think you have to utilize that. I mean you look at the clubs that have for the last two years consistently finished ahead of us. Kuratmad have Abadhyash, he's a fantastic young kid, and he leads their midfield. K'arasi now have Parokshara, and while they're a more defensive club, you can't deny how much he leads that attack. Rha has been THE central part of Bears second place finishes for the last three straight years. Those clubs know how to put go to guys in position to make big plays when its necessary.

SB: Well, but to be fair, Chaya, even since the national team first came onto the international stage almost six years ago you have been touted as the most fantastically skilled player the Pazhujeb Islands will ever see. Everyone predicted that you would become the all-time goalscoring leader and stay in that position long after your retirement, but instead four of your teammates are ahead of you in that category: Ghur, Parokshara, Panithaj, and Tushambanda.

CV: Uh... well... again I'll just say that part of the problem is that I've been underutilized for how talented I am. I mean you just look at the most recent national team match against the Archregimancy. This is a team full of decrepit old monks, and they beat us three one. And I was the only goalscorer. There has to be more emphasis on the guys that can finish well.

SB: And you think that's you.

CV: I don't think I'm the only guy, but yeah, I think I'm one of those people.

SB: So... a moment ago you said you had no beef with national team manager Jaime Oberlander in terms of how much you've been utilized. Are you changing or revoking that statement.

CV: Well... you see... uh... Oberlander is really good. He's world class, and I don't doubt that we are where we are because of him. But I mean if you look at how many times we've qualified for the World Cup underneath him... I mean, I've said too much, but you can count the number of times on one fist, I'll say that.

SB: Strong words, young man.

CV: I hope not.

SB: Well, before we finish, let me ask you this. Is there one thing that you would like the international community to know about you and your conduct.

CV: Well, first and foremost, my conduct is my own business... I mean I don't know what laws are like in other countries, but here in the Pazhujebs we have a right to privacy, including football stars. But I will say this, that I don't like being portrayed as a big asshole who never wants to play, and that's not me. I would like to say to the international community: I do have talent, I do care about football, and I think whatever complaints can be made about me should also be focused on the context of who's been managing the clubs I've been at. I would love to be given a chance to play outside of Ivheshbu A, and by that, yes, I mean I would like to play outside of the Pazhujeb Islands. Put what I just said in bold.

SB: We can do that.

CV: Thanks.

SB: Readers, we have been speaking with Chaya Vuhumkara, wearer of kit number three for the Pazhujeb Islands national football team, inside his home in Lammachi. This is Sudhir Bhay for Eenadu, signing off.

Matchday 1: Beer Served Here - Pazhujeb Islands (1-3 W)
Matchday 2: Pazhujeb Islands - The Archregimancy (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 3: Diojiu - Pazhujeb Islands (2-0 L)
Matchday 4: Pazhujeb Islands - Kolanderaz (@ K'arasiam Sarvatobhav in Pkethat Hevnaje) (3-2 W)
Matchday 5: Squornshelous - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Vogsphere Arena in Vogsphere) (3-2 L)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Holy Empire (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 6: Pazhujeb Islands - Beer Served Here (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (4-0 W)
Matchday 7: The Archregimancy - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Peaceful Woodland Glade in the Dreamed Realm) (3-1 L)
Matchday 8: Pazhujeb Islands - Diojiu (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu)
Matchday 9: Kolanderaz - Pazhujeb Islands
Matchday 10: Pazhujeb Islands - Squornshelous (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)
Post-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Starblaydia (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%202.PNG

krynews.kt

April 1, 2093

Adam Toivonen has today released his grand plan for the Krytenian team in next year's World Cup.

Click here for link (http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/TheSecret.jpg)

8 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13595688&postcount=12).

Poor Refereeing Costs the Turks Dearly
K&TT 1-2 Legalese (1-0)
Despite the half time lead from a Al-Dwadalah volley in the tenth minute, the Second String of the Turks team were easily overturned by a weak Legalese. Both goals maybe disputable however the main one is the 65th minute penalty from what was a blatant dive that officials gave and resulted in both sets of fans having to leave at different time.

Crowd Violence was countered by an Royal Brigade Unit being present at the match which was played in the Ege Dome in Kose away from Ibrahim XIII stadium in case of violence due to William-Fabro's arrest which has now been overturned by the Supreme Court of Imperium. Other notable absences were Serkan Turkmen, Uzulmez Yilmaz, Sukur Saray and Sinan Kose who were with William-Fabro to pay his fine of KL 30,000. Coach Alhrem has said that any attempt to accuse him of neglecting the team are false since he contributed a sizable portion towards his fine.

KaMaRi must lose Next Match to Still be in the Running
The KaMaRi team must lose their next game to keep them within 3 points of the Turks who will have to win against them and hope that the 'Lopes drop points along the line.

KENNETH: Dancougar's away record in World Cup qualifying has been less than stellar... reason for concern, then, as the Wings took on group leaders Quakmybush tonight. While still very much alive in the playoff hunt, the goddess of football is a fickle mistress, and three games is more than enough time for dreams to be made and broken. But first - the highlights! Charles DuPont has been pushing the attack button for the last few games, he knows the team needs goals tonight. And the players do, too! Minute nineteen, Wings on the counterattack. Morimoto makes one man miss, and hits the perfect through ball to an onside Shishio Jinguuji! Jinguuji has Ikeda with him, but takes it himself. Five-hole! Black Wings go 1-0 up, look at it again, pass goes right between Allen and Valez, caught napping at the back.

SCOTTY: But anyone who expected Quakmybush to sit back and let that go are silly. Minute twenty three, Corey Sorley responds with this gem, goes top shelf on Watanabe to make it 1-1. And minutes later, Clifford Baker gets on the score sheet with the tap in, 2-1. Brandon Barclay deflects the Sorley's low cross away from goal, but it bounces right to Baker, and a quick first touch is all he needs. Sorley, to Fields. Fields takes a crack and it goes wide, very nearly had number three there, right before halftime.

KENNETH: Second half, the Wings showing a little more live. Leyton controls in the midfield, over to Morimoto. Morimoto runs down the line, beats Allen and makes the cross. Cross sails into the box, Ikeda heads, and Cam Carroll the reaction save. Incredible reflexes to keep this ball out, punches it over the bar. Boskov has a go, that comes off the defender. Leyton the rebound, but that effort goes wide. And then, in minute sixty one, the hosts get the third. Off the Dancougar corner, Manu gets the clearance and feeds it up to Fields. Bricking comes up on his left, takes the forward pass, with space. Space for the run, and space for the goal! Twists Yamada around and gets a clear shot, Watanabe frozen, and it's 3-1.

SCOTTY: And how about the offensive sub, DuPont brings on Furuya for Underwood, and it nearly pays off right away. Minute sixty five, Furuya playing up as a third forward. Ikeda's shot is pushed away by Carroll, Furuya is right there for the putback... and scrapes the outside of the post! Fighting off Manu, he gets a foot to the ball, but not as square as he wanted, and it's still 3-1. Minutes later, though, the Wings break through. Morimoto works on the left side again, looking for options, hits the cross into the box. Goes over the leaping Ikeda, but winds up on Whittaker's right foot! Oh, go~la~zo! Whittaker, the one-time volley, up and over Carroll, it's 3-2, and we have ourselves a ballgame. Wings, going for the tie, injury time. Whittaker free kick, Jinguuji the tap... and he's offside. Quakmybush wins it 3-2 to stay atop the Group Two leaderboard, Wings call to 3-2-3 on the campaign.

KENNETH: So with two games to go, here's how they stand. The Wings holding onto third place with eleven points, three ahead of Gweridijongya. Quakmybush and Cafundeu both win, so they're assured of at least a playoff berth. And with four points over the Monopolists, Quakmybush are just a win away from clinching the group's automatic World Cup berth.

SCOTTY: The Black Wings needed some time to get back into the game, but they made the last twenty minutes worth the price of admission. Can they scrape in, though? The PTI guys debate.

(OH MANS - switch to another studio!)

BILL: So the Black Wings lose on the road, nothing new there. But the way they lost, and the team they lost to, possibly a sign of encouragement.

JACK: Possibly. They got very rattled midway through the first half, when they gave up those two quick goals. After taking the early lead, perhaps they got a little too excited, because that equilizer really deflated them. They were noticeably rattled, they let the fans back into the game, and that led to the second. They let Quakmybush dominate the rest of that first half.

BILL: But playing on the road, Jack, you know there was supposed to be a hostile crowd.

JACK: And I would say that the good teams can put that aside and win. Quakmybush beat Dancougar at home; obviously, the Horrible Hand-Towels weren't frightening them into submission. But am I saying that Dancougar aren't a good team? No. They made it close in the second half, they pulled it back to one, and really got Quakmybush on the defensive once they had Furuya find his rhythm.

BILL: And regardless of the result, they're scoring goals. This was a big problem in the last tournament - they weren't scoring goals. But two on the road against Cafundeu, two on the road against Quakmybush. All they need to do is work on that defense, now, and we might have something.

JACK: Home to Hopeful SC, away to Gweridijongya, now. If Gweridijongya loses, then Dancougar can wrap this thing up at home, they just need a point. What makes this scenario so enticing is that Gweridijongya have to play Cafundeu... in Cafundeu. Dancougar gets a team at home, Hopeful SC, that has already been eliminated. Charles DuPont will get this team fired up, he'll want to get this thing over with, you have to like their chances.

BILL: But stranger things have happened. The Wings are in a great position, I will say that. But plenty can happen. It may very well come down to that last game against Gweridijongya, and if it does, they'll have home field advantage on their side, which I don't like. But we're out of time, let's go to the final rundown! Sel Appa are back in the finals, your thoughts.

JACK: It's good to see the Turtles with such a strong showing after that tough run four years ago, I look forward to what Estevez is cooking up for us. The goal train is on time in Milchama - another demolition, averaging about six per game, what's this about?

BILL: Well, I think they're gearing up for another run at the crown. Umbongo have a draw and two losses after that blistering start, is this the end of the road for them?

JACK: They'll make the playoffs barring total collapse, but they're still a mystery to me. And who knew we had an American football team - those Wings are gearing up for a world tour to promote the upcoming World Bowl! Are you excited?

BILL: About gridiron, are you kidding me? That's it for us, we'll try to do better next time. We'll see you later.

JACK: Good night, Bigtopia.

World Cup 40 Qualifiers: 5-3-0 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) --- (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) --- (26)HAN

국제험담
International Gossip
Case #08 - Food!

Food, glorious food!
We're anxious to try it!
Three banquets a day,
Our favorite diet.
Just picture a mammoth steak,
Fried, roasted or stewed.
Oh food, wonderful food!
Marvelous food!
Glorious food!

Food, glorious food!
Poached possum served flambe'd,
Broth made from a sloth,
Or saber tooth souffle.
Why should we be fated to
Do nothing but brood on
Food, magical food!
Wonderful food!
Marvelous food!

Food, glorious food!
Flesh picked off the dead ones;
Rank, battered or chewed,
Soon we'll be the fed ones.
Just thinking of putrid meat
Puts us in a mood for
Food, glorious food!
Marvelous food!
Fabulous food!
Beautiful food!
Magical food!
Glorious food!

IFA Head Coach Interview

漢城 (HANSEONG) - 9光武年1月4日 (4th day of the 1st month of the 9th year of reign of the Emperor Gwangmu) | Following the Imperial Team's triumph over Jariss at home in Hanseong today, news has been circulated that the Han stand a tall chance at qualification. At present, the Han still have 2 points to claim the top position to guarantee automatic qualification. Ahead of the match against Sarejavo and the final qualification match at Casari, Ioshido has agreed to do a limited interview with one reporter from MBC International. Here we go now!

吉田 - Ioshido Toki, Head Coach
MBC - Interviewer

MBC: Well, it's not the same thing as qualification, but how do you feel so far about the team's progress?

吉田: I'm very pleased. So far we have not lost a match, although we still have room to err. I'm still very disappointed about those two draws against Engbec - there was no reason that we should have drawn against such a weak team, even if they're still straddling in 4th position of our group. Our handling of the ball was superb, and no doubt, the players practiced hard to make the right plays. But I think we've gotten over that right now, and we're looking to win our next match against Sarejavo.

MBC: How do you feel about some of the teams in the World Cup Qualification?

吉田: It's been rather tipsy. I'm pleased that Cafundeu is also guaranteed a slot in the final playoff for qualification. I still think that they can manage to win the group, but it's going to take more than a win against Quakmybush in the final match. Nonetheless, Cafundeu is doing well and I think that they will go through the playoffs easily. Valanora is also doing well, although I can't much about anything else. So is Bostopia.

MBC: Who?

吉田: I'm not going to mention that again. Too much trouble.

MBC: Okay. Any other teams that you think are doing well for qualification?

吉田: I'm not one to compare other teams except for those in my group. I don't think that I've ever done it during my tenure with any team in the Cafundelense League. Right now, I'm glad that we've taken out Jariss, who was our biggest threat besides Casari. They were particularly strong along the flanks, and their strikers are very good. I had the defenders practice ball handling and effective stealing; in the end, I think that their practice paid off, as Kim Yongdae got yet another clean sheet. I'm also pleased that our strikers are finding their spot as well. We've had some good success finding the back of the net, especially in Magnus Valerius.

MBC: Yes, it seems that the players are getting more and more comfortable.

吉田: Well, we've had plenty of time together, and I think that we're standing great chances to move into the World Cup with one of the best offensive and defensive stats. I'll admit; the players have great talent, and it's helped a lot. But the one thing that I think my predecessor lacked - and not to his fault either, for having never coached a professional team before - but this team needed a sense of direction to focus their talents. The team has the talent, and all that I've done is drawn them together into a powerful team. No doubt that they can even stand against the best teams in the world.

MBC: What about that mid-qualifier mess against Taeshan?

吉田: Well, it was a mistake. But we all make them. Besides, it was a friendly, so I decided to field an experimental side to see what other talents we had hiding on the bench. I was surprised to find even more talent, so it's given me some encouragement. It was disappointing that they lost, but they had a lot of fire in their style, and whether on the back side or the front side, the boys played well. I'm much more disappointed about drawing against Engbec twice than losing to Taeshan once.

MBC: You seem to bbe a stringent kind of guy, aren't you?

吉田: Not the least. I don't believe in "hard" training. It's a waste of fresh energy that players can use on the field. Instead, I try to focus their training to prepare for specific tasks. And there's no point training someone to score a goal if it's not their forte; I use their talent to build them into stronger playmates. Inevitably, all of the other things that accompany great footballing come with the practice in time. Ask any of the players. They're all satisfied with their playing style and they're not as tired as they used to be.

MBC: I'll keep that in mind. And now that you've taken a great team and made it better, what are your plans for the future?

吉田: Well, I'm not going to dismiss my future ambitions. I'll look for bigger teams that will be more challenging for me, but I'm quite satisfied with my stay in the Han Empire. I'll stay for a few more years, or until the IFA decides to displace me. I hope that my performance thus far is satisfactory to their liking. But yes, I'll stay for a little while; after that, who knows?

MBC: What do you think about the Han Empire's prospects in the world of football?

吉田: I think that the country is very potent. There's a lot of talent here, but unfortunately, they don't have a football academy yet, and if given the chance, I'll be making my points to the IFA to consider the construction of new Academy for the Imperial Team during the off-season between World Cup 40 and 41. That way, the Han can solidify its talent and power as a great footballing nation. No doubt, if the right people make the right decisions, the Han Empire can be in the top ten in a few cups.

MBC: Well, that's all for now. Thanks for your time, Ioshido Toki.

吉田: It was my pleasure.


Goal Scorers
7 - Jeong Jihun
3 - Kim Daeeui
2 - Baek Jihun, Yi Dongguk
1 - Kim Byeongji, Song Jongguk, An Pilrip, Yi Yeongpyo, Hong Myeongbo

World Cup Qualifying – MD8

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sel_appa.png Sel Appa : Acapais http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/acapais.png
3:2 (2:0)


Match Report:
Sel Appa – The eight match of Acapais’s World Cup Qualifying campaign for World Cup XL was against Sel Appa and ended in a 3-2 win for the home side on Wednesday night. The loss for Acapais marks the threshold where the Hearts must win the remaining of their group matches to qualify. Even with six points they would need help to grasp a third place spot. In three matches against the turtles, the hearts are 0-2-1.

Sel Appa forward Morreau struck first in the 18th minute with his head from a stellar cross made by Vasou, the right flanker. Just six minutes later Derek Sample was called for a hand-ball inside Acapais’s penalty area. Gepardo made no mistake sending Hunchman O'Hare the wrong way on the penalty kick. Although there were equal amounts of chances for both sides in the first half the score-line suggested otherwise.

Defensive midfielder, Zach McKellar brought back the Hearts to within one from a glancing near-post header, but the Turtles scored the game winner only three minutes later off Nkuma’s well struck 20-yard effort. Jose Castro was brought on shortly after and made a difference by scoring his third of the campaign off a side-footed shot to beat the keeper.

Stephanie Horne said after the match that “it all comes down to the home tie with The Holy Empire. Who ever wins this match will most likely take a qualifying spot.” That sounds good but Acapais need more than just a home win on Thursday to catch a playoff spot. They will need some help doing so. Ideally, Acapais need a win over The Holy Empire, and Nire and Nire need to draw with The Daleks 2 for matchday nine. For the final matchday a win over New Cimeran would secure a spot as Nire and Nire and The Holy Empire would face-off.

The loss leaves Acapais in fifth place in their group and four and one half points from a potential qualification spot.

Scoring:
Sel Appa – Morreau (Vasou) 18
Sel Appa – Gepardo (pen) 24
Acapais – McKellar (Chilvers) 56
Sel Appa – Nkuma (Ghotiolo) 59
Acapais – Castro (Lugini) 77

Booking:
Acapais – Rex Agitril (Caution; Reckless foul) 42
Acapais – Bradley Sample (Caution; Reckless foul) 54
Acapais – Kyle Rummy (Caution; Reckless foul) 69

Acapais Lineup:
Starters: Hunchman O'Hare (GK); David Franzman (Jose Castro 62), Rex Agitril, Kyle Rummy, Derek Sample (Bradley Sample 45); Zachary McKellar (Pablo 79); Henry Paroe, Al Vick Osman; James Fronberry (C); Dean Chilvers, Dave Lugini;
Available Subs: Paul Junxton, Nick Daniels, Bradley Sample, Pablo, Jose Castro
Head Coach:Stephanie Horne

Next Match:
vs The Holy Empire
Starters: Hunchman O'Hare (GK); Bradly Sample, Rex Agitril, Kyle Rummy, Derek Sample; Zachary McKellar; Henry Paroe, Al Vick Osman; James Fronberry (C); Jose Castro, Dave Lugini;
Available Subs: Paul Junxton, Nick Daniels, David Franzman, Pablo, Dean Chilvers
Head Coach:Stephanie Horne
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/alasdair_i_frosticus.png

Injuries/Supensions:

Acapais Goal Scorers:
3 – Dave Lugini
3 – James Fronberry
3 – Jose Castro
2 – Zach McKellar
1 – Henry Paroe
1 – Al Vick Osaman
1 – Rex Agitril
1 – Dean Chilvers

Acapais Assists Leaders:
3 – Al Vick Osaman
2 – Henry Paroe
2 – James Fronberry
2 – Rex Agitril
1 – Zach McKellar
1 – Kyle Rummy
1 – Dave Lugini
1 – Dean Chilvers

Acapais Yellow Cards:
3 – Derek Sample
2 – Al Vick Osaman
2 – James Fronberry
2 – Jose Castro
2 – Henry Paroe
2 – Bradley Sample
2 – Kyle Rummy
2 – Rex Agitril
1 – Dave Lugini
1 – Zach McKellar

Acapais Red Cards:
1 – Bradley Sample
1 – Rex Agitril
1 – Zachary McKellar

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Acapais RP Threads
Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13391027&postcount=8)

The Bassabook Baritone
She doesn't look a thing like Margaret...keep waiting

When You Were Young

It wasn't so long ago that Zwangzug was in the Baptism of Fire, but it was even less long ago that they hosted it: Yafalonia and Bazor 2 lost the final to Dancougar. The FAIL team returned to Zwangzug for a World Cup 40 qualifying match, and both sides felled the other-but Zwangzug were the last ones standing, and walked away 3-0 victors.

The trouble began in the twenty-second minute (actually, it had sixty, just like all the rest of them when time dilation isn't happening) when Barelien Koliensar fouled Gary Maini in plain sight of Graham Jackwick. Maini converted the penalty and Zwangzug were up 1-0.

The visitors had a chance to equalize shortly thereafter when Miso Kite put on an impressive aerial display, but he lost control of the ball when he hit the ground. They wouldn't get another attack as effective until six minutes from full time, but Racheal Kneal couldn't convert Raethar Vanlaez's free kick after a Phillip Stings foul.

Zwangzug would continue scoring, with Peter Vanderpent poking the ball past Umar Ventrarar to double the scoreline. Graham Noh'arms dove to intercept it, but only crashed into the goalpost. In true spirit, he played on and if anything stepped up his performance, only conceding one more goal after Stings' circuitous run to build up momentum for the shot.

Zwangzug then traveled to Lethislavania and once again scored three goals, once again each of the forwards scoring once. In this match, however, Lethislavania scored twice (as they did in the earlier leg, a 4-2 win for Zwangzug). Their first goal came from an attacking midfielder at thirty-seven minutes in; their second, a forward's header in the sixty-third.

The win over FAIL's team, however, is likely to be more important as it broke a tie for the Group Seven lead. Both Zwangzug and Yafalonia and Bazor 2 [something sounds wrong with this sentence -ed] have clinched at least a playoff spot, which sounds more impressive than it is as all that entails is finishing in the group's top half. Despite Zwangzug's success in playoffs, it's likely the team won't let up until it's clinched the group title-it's said to be at its best when nothing is decided, and important matters are still on the line.

Kate: Hello, this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE. I'm Kate Sallad but call me Kate Dallas if you like. The real one is locked in a temple.
Kara: I'm Kara Kool, I don't know. I think you are Kate Dallas escaped from the Temple.
Kate: Let's look at all the groups on match day 8. Two games left and there's plenty to decide!
Kara: Remember, it's the top 3 who can the final but only the top team have automatic progression.

Kate: Group 1 - Casari and those wacky folk from Daehanjeiguk have the top two spots. They have dominated this group with no losses at all.
Kara: The third spot is a bit tight with Jariss, Enbec and Magnus Valerius in the hunt.
Kate: We can't pick between those three really, they all are far below the classy teams like Casari.
Kara: No, we won't make any prediction there.

Kate: Group 2 - Quakmybush and the Monopolists cruise into the top 2 with no issues. Dancougar hold 3rd spot but Gweridijongya have a chance too.
Kara: Dancougar should be 3rd here because I think they are the better team.
Kate: Yes, I agree with Kara there. More wins and a better goal scoring record.
Kara: That one was easy

Kate: Group 3 - a bit tight here. Bettia lead with C&M 2nd but Lovisa and Septentrionia are not far behind.
Kara: Looking at table, I think Bettia and C&M will be the top 2. Lovisa should keep 3rd spot because of their better goal difference and their one win buffer over Septentrionia.
Kate: I think Lovisa could take 2nd spot with a bit of luck.
Kara: C&M are too good for that to happen.

Kate: Group 4 - Squornshelous are the uber team with no doubt. But 2nd and 3rd are up for grabs. The Pazhujeb Islands, the Monks and Diojiu are fighting over the remains.
Kara: The Monks have slipped up and allowed the other two to have a chance.
Kate: I want the Monks to get into the finals again.
Kara: Me too but they have a fight on their hands now.

Kate: Group 5 - Elves and Bostopia are safe in the top 2. The 3rd spot will be decided betweem three teams.
Kara: Solenial, Agroprom and Blouman Empire have to decide between themselves. To hard to pick right now.
Kate: I'm picking the Blouman Empire.
Kara: That's because they like whores like you.

Kate: Group 6 - a hard one to work out. No one is safe or discounted between four teams.
Kara: I'm sure the loss-less Tynelia will be best team but we really hope Bazalonia can fight off KaMaRi and the Turks from Kose and the Turkomans.
Kate: The Bazalopes really need to get their stuff together.
Kara: Yes, I see an upset here.

Kate: Group 7 - clearcut to us. Zwangzug ziggly zog ... and Yafalonia and Bazor 2 are quite safe. Vephrall should have 3rd spot unless Pantocratoria win the next two games.
Kara: Veprall should be 3rd. What's up with that ziggly zog!
Kate: Nothing, it's the Z thing.
Kara: Never mind

Kate: Group 8 - our group. D2R and we are assured but Abaio hold 3rd. Novapsolu are in trouble.
Kara: Abaio have a 4 point buffer and I can't see Novapsolu making it.
Kate: We play them next, we beat them last game 4-2.
Kara: Yes, I'd hate to say this but we win next game - we hand 3rd spot to Abaio. Not what we want but we can't lose games because D2R is still on our case for top spot.

Kate: Err, Group 9 to 15 will have to wait. I think we've run out of time.
Kara: That includes Jeru FC's group.
Kate: Oh well, see you next time ... next match day.
Kara: Can ya stop shaking those boobs Kate.

Kate: Hey, this platform is shaky.
Kara: Don't you wear sports bras.
Kate: Err, nope.
Kara: Figures

[QUOTE=Prazkoy;13593554]World Cup 40 Qualifiers 0-3-5 (6)
MD1: SOL(58) 1-1 (173)PRA
MD2: PRA(173) 0-2 (3)ESF (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD3: BLU(64) 2-1 (173)PRA
MD4: PRA(173) 1-2 (153)AGR (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD5: BOS(24) 3-1 (173)PRA
MF1: KOS 0-0 PRA
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: PRA(173) 2-2 (58)SOL (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD7: ESF(3) 3-2 (173)PRA
MD8: PRA(173) 0-0 (64)BLU (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD9: AGR(153) --- (173)PRA
MD10: PRA(173) --- (24)BOS (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)

Qualification Failed

Despite the valiant efforts of the Prazkoy Boys, the team will be making an early exit from Qualification. Yes, we're still in contention for qualification, but that's supposing that for some reason everyone else won't. Unrealistic, aside from the point that the Boys will need to win all of their remaining matches. Indeed, unlikely.

But the one consolation prize taken from the match against the Blouman Empire was the praise of salvation by two members of the Blouman Empire's Football Team. The identities of the two players remain a secret, although the Church reflected that they were uncertain if the two players submitted to them were in fact the two caught in the act of sexual perversion. "I'm not allow to talk about this anymore," remarked one of the Church officials working on the case.

The Unaclaimed Newspaper

Knights lose to Yafor 2, But still get oput of group

Last night the Purple Knights, Yes that of Taeshan took on the Golden Wolves who are of course from Yafor 2. The game would go to Yafor 2 2-1. The only Knight goal was scored by Middie Zeke Jr.

In some hilarious other news Aqua Team Hungerland defeated Northern Bettia 3-2. The race for automatic qualifying is stil;l close with the Knights only needin the Northern Bettians, and Yafor 2's to lose a game to get automatic qualifying. We'd also need to defeat the Hungerese, and the Northern Bettians. It should be an excitingly eventful weekend.

The Unaclaimed Newspaper

Knights lose to Yafor 2, But still get oput of group

Last night the Purple Knights, Yes that of Taeshan took on the Golden Wolves who are of course from Yafor 2. The game would go to Yafor 2 2-1. The only Knight goal was scored by Middie Zeke Jr.

In some hilarious other news Aqua Team Hungerland defeated Northern Bettia 3-2. The race for automatic qualifying is stil;l close with the Knights only needin the Northern Bettians, and Yafor 2's to lose a game to get automatic qualifying. We'd also need to defeat the Hungerese, and the Northern Bettians. It should be an excitingly eventful weekend.

The Unaclaimed Newspaper

Knights lose to Yafor 2, But still get oput of group

Last night the Purple Knights, Yes that of Taeshan took on the Golden Wolves who are of course from Yafor 2. The game would go to Yafor 2 2-1. The only Knight goal was scored by Middie Zeke Jr.

In some hilarious other news Aqua Team Hungerland defeated Northern Bettia 3-2. The race for automatic qualifying is stil;l close with the Knights only needin the Northern Bettians, and Yafor 2's to lose a game to get automatic qualifying. We'd also need to defeat the Hungerese, and the Northern Bettians. It should be an excitingly eventful weekend.

THE EMPIRE TIMES


HORROR CONTNIUES FOR TEAM

The problems arising from the sex scandal has continued and has seemed to have affected their performance on the field, with the eagles only being able to manage a nil all draw with Prazkoy.

The game was very much a mid field battle, with the majority of the ball in the middle third 75% of the game. Indeed there were large stretches of the game which ran at snails pace as the clock counted to the 90th minute. While Speed managed to have a good shot on goal it was disallowed by the referee after a late offside call from the side line referee. Prazkoy forward Podolsky managed to get two good shots, however Alex Burner continued to show his almost super power abilities by jumping all over the six yard box as he parried and caught the ball in numerous locations. The game ended up as a nil all draw as neither side was able to get the better of each other.

While the draw dropped Bloumany down the ladder to 5th place, a surprise win by Agroprom over Solenial managed to keep the Empire in contention for third spot as Bloumany is now only one point shy of both Solenial and Agroprom. The Eagles next play top of table and undefeated Valanora, and then Agroprom, provided results fall in their favour a playoff position is not out of reach yet.

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

MATCHDAY EIGHT: @ Scotchpineistan (somwhere there)

Qazox inched closer to at least a playoff berth as they came back from an early 0-1 deficit and won 2-1, pushing Scotchpineistan to the brink of elimination. But Az-cz beat Green wombat, almost assuring them of the automatic qualifying berth.

Renna Valladores scored both Pheonix goals in the second half, in the 56th and 77th minutes, after the hosts took the lead just before the half ended.

QAZOX SCORING:
Anderson Tarricone- 6
Kallie Jaus- 5 (1 PK)
Renna Valladores- 5
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Stevie Spingler- 1


Here is a quick look at every group and the current playoff teams:

GROUP I
Casari and Daehanjeiguk have each clinched a playoff berth. Jariss has a 2 point lead for third.

GROUP II
Quakmybush and Cafundeu have each clinched a playoff berth, while Dancougar sits 3 points clear in third.

GROUP III
No spots clinched yet.

GROUP IV
Sqournshelous has clinch AUTO BERTH.

GROUP V
Valanora and Bostopia each have clinched playoff berths, and three teams are separated by 1 point for 3rd thru 5th.

GROUP VI
No spots clinched yet.

GROUP VII
Zwangzug and suprisingly, Yafalonia and Bazor 2 have each clinched playoff spots, while Vephrall sits 3 points clear in third.

GROUP VIII
Jeruselem and D2R are at least in the playoffs, while Abaio has the lead for 3rd over Novapsolu by 4 points.

GROUP IX
Somehow, Prux, yes PRUX, has clinched at least a playoff berth, while Wentland and Ad'ihan practically have the other 2 spots locked up.

GROUP X
Northern Bettia, Yafor 2 and taeshan have all clinched playoff berths.

GROUP XI
Milchama and Kura-Pelland each are in the playoffs, while Eightgraderistan and Kelssek battle for third.

GROUP XII
Sel Appa has clinched World Cup berth, atoning for last cup's flameout. 4 teams are within 4 points for 2nd and 3rd.

GROUP XIV
No spots clinched yet.

GROUP XV
Slani and Sorthern Northland are playoff bound, while Jeru FC sits in 3rd, while the other 3 teams are within 4 points.

GROUP XII QUALIFYING SENARIOS
Az-cz: Needs a win or draw or Qazox draw or loss to clinch group and Auto-Berth.
Qazox: Needs a win or draw and a Green wombat-Scotchpineistan draw or either Green wombat or Scotchpineistan to lose to clinch playoff berth.
Green wombat: Needs a win over Scotchpineistan to clinch playoff berth.


SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia L 1-2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan W 2-1 QSPN2 (5-1-2)
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. Kickoff time: 14:50 QST. QSPN2
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) Kickoff time: 18:00 local (17:30 QST) QSPN

THE DAILY REVIEW


PLAYERS NAMES REVEALED
Further Team Members Involved

The two players involved in the sex scandal which rocked Blouman International Football yesterday to its core have revealed themselves with a public apology. Johnathon Filamr and Lord Jason Konogger, both admitted today that they were the two players that defied team orders and attended Suite 204 after the two home games against Bostopia and Solenial. In their public apology they apologised to their team mates, their families and to the fans for bringing the game into disrepute and causing damage on an international stage to Blouman football.

It is understood that Lord Konogger's wife Lady Kristine Konogger has filed for divorce and to have complete custody of the children, Lord Konogger's contract with radio station 5BBD has been cancelled, 5BBD management is quoted as saying "We are a radio station that promotes family values and we feel that we cannot have someone in our employment who doesn't feel the same way", TV station PVN also said that they wouldn't be renewing his contract when it runs out at the end of the month. Johnathon Filmar’s fiancé, famed children’s author Jessica Cooper through her publicist has said that she still loves Johnathon and has accepted his personal apology when he rang earlier in today, she hopes that the reconciliation process will continue, and will delay the wedding by 12 months. There has been no word yet from Filmars club C.F. Cathedral City in Candelaria And Marquez, as Lord Konogger's club released a statement saying that it is an issue for the FFB to deal with and they will talk to him when he returns from international duty.

There has been further light shed on the scandal with the FFB confirming that deputy physiotherapist Luke Hod also accompanied the two players to Suite 204 on both occasions and he has advised the FFB that he will resign from his position immediately. It is also know that Hod took up the offer by the Grand Hussite Church in Prazkoy to redeem himself, while the FFB has acknowledged that he went there after the game against Prazkoy, as for the other guy whom Prazkoy thinks is another player the FFB denies anyone else from the team going and does not know who he is "We have no idea who he is all team personnel apart from Luke came back, maybe he is a fan who decided he needed some redemption".

While the two players have been allowed to play for the remainder of this qualifying round it is uncertain if they will be asked to play for the Empire again. The FFB has issued each of them with a H50,000 fine, with Filmar being informed by manager Baron Konjac that he will not be starting in the game against Valanora, his position is expected to be taken by young gun James Sleep.

PLAYOFF BOUND!

The Prawns have at least clinched a playoff berth thanks to a 4-2 win over Hryvinia on a hat-trick from Heff Jardy and a lone goal from Chris Jerusalem.

But not all was great fro the Prawns as Matt Victor Paulsen was injured and will unavailable for the next two games. Taking his place will be Triple M, Michael Miguel Michaels.

Up next is Ruskastan and a win, coupled with a loss by Wentland and either a draw or loss by Ad'ihan will earn Prux it's first World Cup berth.

Goals:
J7Y- 7
Heff Jardy- 6
James Nobel- 4
Matt Victor Paulsen- 2
Mikey James -1
Henry Marks-1

THE ROCKET REPORT

ROCKETS SNAP LOSING SKID; GAIN DOG

Lithima- Eventually, we found our way to the stadium in which today’s match between Newmanistan and Lithima was being played. We were not provided much imformation from the Lithimans on where things were located, so we had to fend for ourselves a little bit. There was absolutely no interest at all here in this World Cup qualifying match, and the only people that actually attended seemed to be the friends and family of the players. There weren’t many, if any, Newmanistan supporters at the match, as they too likely gave up when trying to find out where this place actually was.

The game that was played though, was actually fairly entertaining. While the outside interest in Lithima over the World Cup qualifying seems to be dead, the players donning their uniforms played with tons of pride, and wanted to do the best that they could for the home nations. They scored first in the 12th minute against a Rockets squad that seemed very flat at the beginning of the contest. This could be somewhat excusable given the fact that the hotel in which they booked originally oversold and left the Rockets hanging, and made the team have to spend hours upon hours just looking for a place to sleep, let alone even think about training. In fact to even get rooms, the team needed to pretend they were there for a major dog show in the area, and needed to go to the extent of adopting a young poodle which they affectionately called Fluffy. The dog show seemed to have more of the interest of the community, and by our count, there were more dogs entered in the show, then there were people attending this match. The score remained 1-0 at the end of the first half, and the match was having a similar look as the disaster at Olympia on matchday three.

In the second half, though, the Rockets seemed to find some gas in the tank and eventually took control of the game. By the 60th minute, Newmanistan was dominating possession, and in the 69th minute, it would be a blistering 20-yard blast from Brett Prescott into the top left corner to tie up the game. Seven minutes later, Jeremy McAllister scored for the third consecutive game, working a pretty passing play between him and Kevin Lewis. J-Mac got the goalkeeper to bite to the left, and then cooly slid it to his right to give the Rockets a one-goal lead. The remaining time went by very uneventfully with the Rockets focusing on the defense to protect the lead, and Lithima didn’t get a single opportunity.

As for Fluffy, we have now heard that the team has been granted permission to take the dog to Kelssek and hope that it will bring the team continued good fortune. However, Fluffy was a quick name for the dog, and Newmanistanians or anyone else can send their suggestions our way if they have a better name for the white female poodle.

Green Wombat Daily Tattler

GREEN WOMBAT 1- Az-cz 2

Az-cz clinched a playoff berth, and just about locked up another trip to the World Cup, with a 2-1 win earlier tonight. Green wombat is still in third, and now has to face Scotchpinistan next week in what amounts to an elimination game for both teams. If the Wombats win, they clinch a playoff berth, (and would allow Qazox to do the same) but if they lose, then they'll have to defeat Qazox, which is something they have never yet accomplished.

As of now here are the current Group Thirteen standings:

TEAM W-D-L Pts GF GA GD
Az-cz 8-1-0 22 23 9 +14*
Qazox 5-1-2 16 19 12 +7
Green wombat 4-0-4 12 12 16 -4
Scotchpinestan 3-1-4 10 11 15 -4
Nethertopia 0-4-4 4 8 12 -4
Iansisle 1-1-6 4 9 18 -9

*- Clinched Playoff berth
**-Clinched Auto World Cup berth
The next match is at Scotchpineistan, where so much is riding on the line for both teams.

Drew's Clues: Center of the World

Chuuoushi takes on the appearance of a college town when you first enter the downtown business district. The main street is lined with small shops and bars, and protruding from the low-rising apartments are the colors of Hazuki State University. The university's banner flies proudly from street lights and telephone poles. And the Al Nomura Stadium, once expansion is complete at the end of this summer, will be the nation's second largest with a capacity of 60,000. The students and residents are football fanatics, and through good seasons and bad, every Hazuki State home game has been sold out for ten straight seasons. The program has existed for eleven.

Hazuki State is one of the top programs in the nation and regularly competes for top honors in the Hazuki Collegiate Premier League, which is contested annually by nine schools in the state. Several times they have finished number one in the postseason media poll, and two years ago they made it to the national championship game. All of their success and recognition has made them a magnet for talent from all over Dancougar, and their dedication to teamwork and fundamentals have produced more than its share of national team selections.

On Saturdays every fall, and usually into the spring, fans turn out en masse to watch their team play. The bars are filled and good times are had. But on Sundays, when the stadium is empty, the bars remain full - only this time, the patrons are sporting the red and white of another team. That would be América of Cafundeu, the home of Hideo Ikeda, the forward who led Hazuki State to the 2017 Hazuki League championship and a national #1 ranking.

"We haven't missed a game since he signed on," says Chuuoushi resident and Hazuki State alumni Kazuki Nobunaga. "It's enough that there's always great games in that league, but when Hideo goes in... that much more reason to watch."

That season was a breakout year for Hazuki State; its first eleven-win year came as part of a long run of league dominance. But Ikeda was only a part of the machine which scored the most goals in the country that year - Hikaru Waya and Akira Morimoto, midfielders, were also starters who saw national team action. Ikeda and Morimoto went on to be the team's top scorers in the Baptism of Fire and World Cup 39 qualifiers, and both have moved on to professional careers. But only Ikeda has gathered a following here.

"I think it's just because he's the goal scorer, you know?" Nobunaga explains. He is decked out in a Hazuki State jersey with Ikeda's old number 10, and wrapped around his neck is an América scarf he purchased online, a growing trend among Dancougar's football fans. "Akira was great. He did so many great things with the ball. But when Hideo got it, you just held your breath. He won so many games with that right foot."

Hideo Ikeda grew up in a small town about twenty miles north of the university and did not take up football until his junior year of high school. At that point, most universities were still just fielding experimental travel teams, and only a handful of conferences were in operation. But they still recognized talent when they saw it - Ikeda was deadly inside the box, had good range of motion, but was somewhat uncreative. More of a striker than a forward, but Hazuki State coach Pat French saw something he liked in Ikeda's play.

"Hideo... he had good instincts on the attack, just never really executed well outside of the last shot," French recalls. "We had so many good players around him, though, that we were able to get by. But one thing I always told myself, 'If he ever learns to do something more with the ball... then he'll be great.'"

Ikeda now starts for América, a side which generally sits in the middle of the Cafundeu first division table. The team is constantly bringing in younger players, though, so the pressure is on him to succeed soon before he's forced to move on. His work ethic has not diminished, and he's certainly improved in key areas of his game. He has four goals in World Cup 40 qualifying and has been instrumental in producing others. But the performance of the national team, still young and still underwhelming, might hinder his chances of any further advancement.

"I don't know if he'll ever be, you know, a top class forward," says Nobunaga, who is joined by about thirty others in watching today's match against Atlético Insular. It's late in the first half. Ikeda's only chance of the game was pushed wide, and the announcer is saying something about national team duty wearing him out. "But to us, he's a hero. He's playing the beautiful game in a beautiful country, and you can't really ask for more than that."

Drew Papes is a columnist for the Stoneridge Post, and is also featured on DSPN's Around the Horn.

*******************************************

"Gaseous Gecko to Liquid Lizard," radioed Peter. "I can see the front door from here. Should I go in or something?"

"Negative, wait for support!" replied Russ. "I'm around back. We should have assistance on the east side of the house shortly."

"What side is the east side?" asked Peter.

"Your right, my left," replied Russ. "I think."

"Yeah but there's moss on this tree facing my left," Peter answered, "so doesn't that make east where you are?"

"What? No, we came from... bah!" Russ decided it wasn't worth arguing. He peered at the window. It was all quiet. He checked his watch. Two minutes until the raid was supposed to begin. No sign of the second team. They should've been in position by now. He went back to his radio. "Delta one, this is Echo one, come in! Echo one!"

Static. Then a voice on the line. "So, you're already here?" Two gunshots from inside the house.

"Damn it... Peter, abort, abort!" Russ yelled into his talkie. "They're onto us!" A window burst at the side of the house and gunfire poured out into the bushes. It was nowhere near him, but he ducked behind a tree and shut up. Any more would give him away.

Peter's voice came through the radio, blowing that plan out of the water. "Crap, crap, who the hell is shooting at us? Fire missiles!!"

"What missiles?!"

..........

The other two cabins were swept successfully. Patterson pulled aside one of the captured men and threw him to the ground. He held up a bunch of newspaper clippings regarding the Southern Northland friendly and other fixtures at the National Stadium. "So you were going to hit it after all, that game," he said. "You have some balls, son."

"This nation should not have ties with them!" the man snarled. "That nation of drunks and soldiers, they're no good! We should ally with the Han, they understand our culture, our heritage!"

"What are you blathering about, it's just a god damn game," Patterson replied. "And if you love the Han so much, why were you bombing the Pratzkoy game, huh?"

"We would not hurt them or their friends," the man said. "It was for night, just for the stadium, as a warning!"

The man struggled to get up, but he was struck back down by a nearby soldier. "Get this thing out of my sight," Patterson growled. "A and B are clear. What's the status on C?"

..........

Russ and Peter were pinned and isolated. There was no way they were getting into the house. Russ fumbled with his walkie talkie and tried to keep his voice down. "Can you move from where you are?" he asked. "It's only a matter of time before they come out here."

"I see some barrels," Peter said. "I'm going to shoot them."

"You idiot, that only works in..." Russ was cut off by a gunshot and an explosion. Glass shattered on the other side of the cabin and someone inside yelled something naughty. "Oh, no, you are kidding me..." Another shot, and another explosion. Parts of the cabin were now on fire. Two men ran out towards a white van parked at the side. Russ scrambled from his position and fired wildly at them, but didn't come close to hitting. He ducked as they fired back before getting into the van. The wheels spun as they accelerated and sped off down the winding forest path.

Russ was then floored by the rest of the house exploding. Apparently whatever explosives they'd been working on were still in there. He was thrown backwards into a bush and burning shrapnel flew everywhere. For a few seconds, he was in a daze. It was hot. And then he opened his eyes. He reached for his walkie talkie. "Hey... Peter... are you dead?"

"Yeah, man," replied Peter. "And they got away."

"The path snakes around," Russ said, pulling himself to his feet. "If we're fast, we can try to cut them off the way we came."

“FLUFFY” GAINS REAL NAME

(The Rockets arrive in Kelssek, and thankfully things have gone much smoother here. They get together in the hotel meeting room for a discussion about things.)

Carson: Still in the pacific areas, but things are so much different, right guys?

Chapman: Yeah, this looks like a nice nation. Maybe I will visit later in a less stressful time.

Peterson: Hey guys check this out, a fan e-mailed this to me, it’s the perfect real name for our newly adopted poodle.

(Players gather around Peterson)

Peterson: Underdog! Hey look I know it might sound cheesy at first, but is there a more fitting name, it defines us perfectly!

Brooker: Well, I guess.

Peterson: Just look at how people are counting us out. After matchday seven we were written off as eliminated. We aren’t dead yet. Not by a long shot. We’re underdogs!

McAllister: And with Underdog, the underdogs shall prevail?!

Carson: I like it!

Peterson: Thanks coach!

Carson: It’s true, we’re being written off, but not only are we still alive, we still control our own destiny! We don’t need help, it’s all up to us!

McAllister: Hell yeah! Go Underdogs!!

Lewis: Yep, if we win both of our games, we finish with 13 points. We’ll be beating Kelssek and Eighthgraderistan if we do, making the most they can finish with, if we beat them, be 12 points. Third place would be ours!! Fight boys!! Fight!

Brooker: Damn right, we can win. Go Rockets!!

(Carson whispers to assistant coach Merrill: I feel.... that spark back.... don’t you?! Merrill nods in agreement)

Carson: Alright boys, now we know this isn’t going to be easy. But we beat Kelssek, so we know we can do it again on their turf.

Lewis: And we can beat Eighthgraderistan, they were in the same Baptism of Fire as us, and they didn’t do a whole lot there.

McAllister: And the great crowd at Putnam Lake will be behind us for that game too.

Carson: Everyone gather round. Bring Underdog over here. (Carson holds the dog, the players each touch the dog, and Underdog surprisingly remains very calm as this goes on). Look at this dog, it is a true underdog. It went from a shelter in Lithima to now being our unofficial mascot. We went from out of it, to everyone writing us off, including the Rocket Report people, to being in this situation, a situation where we control our own destiny. This dog defied the odds, now lets go out there, starting right here and now and defy our own odds. The dream hasn’t died. Let’s bring it home, we can do it, and we know we can beat Kura-Pelland in a playoff based on the previous results. Go Rockets!

Team: GO ROCKETS!! ROCK-ETS!!! ROCK-ETS!!!

Merrill (whispering to Carson): Yep, that spark is back. Beware the spark.

THE NETHERTOPIAN TIMES

Fans seen waving white tissues after humiliating defeat
Somewhere in Iansisle - The Falcons are having problems, taking the third loss in a row against football dwarf Iansisle and thus not qualifing for the WC.The Nethertopian fans travelling with the team were screaming for coach Rob Kietecs' head. The poor guy refused to answer any of our questions.

Kose still defiant
Sinan Kose has said to the media that the fans should not be disappointed as this is their first time with the giants of football. Kose, 16 has also said that the team may still qualify and that all is not lost yet. Kose was also absent from the humiliating 2-1 defeat to Leagalese which has cause people to look at the Turks record with and without Kose:

With Sinan
Played: 22
Won:17
Lost:3
Drawn:2

Without Sinan
Played: 2
Won: 0
Drawn: 1
Lost: 1

This shows that Sinan is the key to the squads performance it is also worth noting that since we play 5-4-1 he is the only player who will be making any form of constant threat to any teams defense and the way we crashed out against Legalese may come back to haunt him.

Violence causes 300 million KL damage
The ensuing violence after the Turks were beaten by a weak Legalese team, the fans showed their displeasure by rioting and rampaging round Kose City. One local shop keeper said " In my day we didn't go up in arms over football matches, I'll tell whats causing all this... Nationalism!" It is also worth noting that our report crew were looting his shop at the time.

Riot police and the Army worked together and fired several rounds of Rubber bullets to calm the crowd down, which did not disperse until 3 AM the next when all of them were either Asleep or in Hospital. The chief of police said to us, " Well at our next home game we will make sure that we have a massive presence, and- Hey is that my watch" He said as we ran away.

Turkmen Delight at getting of the Mark
Serkan Turkmen scored his first league goal from the dead ball for PoC in an interview he said " It's like the first time I scored for the National team I feel warm and much more at home here now, I think the reasons I fit in well is the large Turkic Community!"

THE EMPIRE TIMES


EAGLES READY FOR TOUGHEST GAME YET
Williams Set To Return

The Bloumany football team are busily preparing in what could be described as their do or die game for the qualifiers, when they face Valanora later tonight. The team is in need for a win in order to remain in contention for the final playoff position, the team is currently a point behind Agroprom and Solenial and will be hoping to come away today with the three points needed. Manager Baron Konjac said of tonight's preparation "We have been looking forward for tonight, I have made it clear to the team that tonight could make history or they could just become another statistic". Last time these two sides met the Eagles lost 5-3 at home, while Valanora has the home advantage the team has stated that they are unconcerned by this and are confident that they will return.

To help them team Captain Anthony Williams who has been sidelined for the past three games due to a pulled groin muscle has made a full recovery and will be starting this game. Williams is said to be enthusiastic to return to the side and is ready to play first class football and hopefully muster the side to a win. Williams is quoted as saying "I am glad to be back and eager to play, and I am sure that the team has the ability to be able to make the playoffs" as for his opinion on the sex scandal which has distracted the team of late Williams said "I have nothing to say on the matter, I have spoken privately to the two players and the FFB has dealt with it, the matter is closed and it is time now to put the past behind us and focus on the job at hand".

Perfect timing.

Perfect execution.

This is how the game is supposed to be played.

Rennidan Sports Network.

Toughest Match Yet To Come.

It's been a while, but today everyone at the RSN has a grin on their face. Why? Because, thanks to a recent shake-up of playing tactics, Rennidan have two consecutive wins to their name. Whilst they may not be able to win the cup (and not that we were ever expecting they'd be able to), it's obvious that our team has finally come to grips with how national football should be played.

However, darkness looms on the horizon. Today, Rennidan will face their third match against UCS SLANI, the world's premier ranked team. On their first meet, Rennidan lost 3-1. The fact that the Unknowns managed a goal against SLANI was enough to keep our nations spirits up, and in their last meet SLANI won by a meager one-nil. Whilst this may be enough to keep us grinning, it's best to take a look at the last match SLANI played (UCS SLANI 8-2 Jeru FC). With a score like that behind them, Rennidan are going to have to pull out all the stops.

You can do it, Rennidan.

Because we have a lot of money riding on this.

http://www.islandsdaily.co.ad/sport/blog/wc40q/will_we_make_it#commentsanchor
Will we make it?
Posted 8:14 pm, MD8 by Luke Evans

Pretty impressive win this afternoon, wasn't it? The first time the AFF schedule a home match to be played at 4 pm instead of 8 pm and we go out and score four goals. Francis Yang scored (again, that's now five goals from six caps, which is a very impressive return) to start the scoring and the goalfest never relented, with Philip Brennan-Evans, Justin Stenstrom and Kenneth Quinn all getting in on the goalscoring action.

We've got Hryvinia and Ruskastan at home and then away respectively in our last two matches, both of which appear to be sure-wins. It's not yet beyond hope that we'll win our group, although it does look unlikely. Prux have done well to keep top spot in the group and we do still have Wentland between us and them. Not to mention Ruskastan aren't all that far behind us and any slip-up could cost us a playoff spot...

Oh, a few more things. First, an apology from both my and Davey as neither of us could post after our Matchday Seven 2-2 draw away in Prux where we took a two-goal lead after 14 minutes through Julian D'Abbo and the restored-to-the-lineup Steve Bryson but threw it away (as usual). Maybe we'll let you, the readers and commenters on the blog, do posts when neither of us can make it — I'll see what I can do.

Ben Ropes is scheduled to return to the squad next week for the match against Hryvinia, but he might be on better form as it's been revealed that a stomach bug had been keeping him off-form and hence letting in all those goals.

Oh, and good news. Well, sort of good news. It's not good for those of you who did not like me when I was in the job as Ad'ihan manager. The AFF has approached me to (re)join the national team in the capacity of footballing excellence director. I'll oversee training schemes and youth development within the AFF and national team. But don't worry, I won't be leaving my duties here covering for Davey.

Do leave your thoughts and comments as always, it's great to read them.

Permalink | Trackback | View comments for this post (3)

Comments

1. Pierre posted 8:34 pm

Francis Yang is absolutely on fire right now. Also kudos to Quinn for scoring his first goal of the campaign, and to Stenstrom for that brilliant headed finish. Congrats on the appointment, Luke, you were a great manager and your skill will only help Ad'ihani football improve. As for Ben Ropes, I hope to God he pulls it off against Hryvinia.

2. Luke Evans posted 8:38 pm

Thanks for the well wishes, Pierre. Absolutely, Francis Yang is on fire but I'm concerned that this may be a flash-in-the-pan period for opposing teams. I don't think he'll be able to sustain this kind of form into the finals (if we get there), but it'll be interesting to see. I'll report back on how he does in training.

3. Davey Thomson posted 8:58 pm

Luke! Congratulations on the appointment. For everyone who's wondering why I'm here but didn't post today's entry, the reason is simple: I wasn't at the game today. I've been away watching Prux for Radio Ad'ihan International. It's always good to keep tabs on your rivals. Prux have an interesting side, and have done better than expected this campaign. I wouldn't go so far as to say they deserve to win the group, but their showings have been solid and they do deserve to be up there in the top two in the group. Still, if we can overhaul them in these last two games, it would go a ways to helping ourselves.

JARISS RENAISSANCE PRESS
“No storm shall silence us!”

Hanging On

After a second straight 3-0 loss to Daehanjeiguk, Jariss has managed to cling to a 2 point advantage over Engbec and now finds Magnus Valerius, a team most thought were done, joining them at 8 points. However if the past is any indication Jariss’ luck may start to turn. In the first half the team had stumbled and found itself with only 3 points after the first two matches. Then they went on to win their last two to put some space between them and the teams chasing. Now they have to do it again.

On paper things look good as they face the bottom two teams in the group, Engbec at home then last place Sarejavo on the road to complete the qualfiers. The schedule is rougher for the others as Engbec follows us with Magnus Valerius to finish things and Magnus Valerius finds themselves up against Casari in the next match. In fact a win for Jariss combined with a Magnus Valerius loss to Casari and the team clinches its playoff spot. Jariss fans hope history repeats itself in the second go through of the qualifiers and the team can make the payoffs and possibly their first ever World Cup proper as the playoffs mean you only need one good game, or the opponents one bad one and its over.

“Your plan is failing miserably.” Specialist Anderson told Agent Smith as the two sat down for coffee. “The team once again had a 3-3 draw, I think that may be some sort of record, and STILL hasn’t lost yet despite your plans.”

“Oh I wouldn’t call it a failure, look at all these goals we’ve been giving up. No System Karela award for the team this time.” Smith replied calmly.

“No but if not for Milchama we’d be in the running for the Golden Boot for most goals scored. How exactly is this supposed to discredit the nutbags?” Anderson pressed.

“Look at the big picture Specialist Anderson. Despite going undefeated, despite scoring all these goals, we still haven’t even clinched a playoff spot. Given the information I’ve sent to Kose and the Turkomans, they’ll be well prepared to defeat the team this time around instead of just coming up with a draw. Think of it Smith, first place with two matches left and then they fail to make the playoffs completely. The fans will turn on the Coach who let this happen and the cultists will take a huge blow in morale.” Smith explained.

“So you’re saying you actually expected four teams out of six to still be alive at this stage of things?” Anderson said disbelievingly.

“One has to prepare for all eventualities. You should know that from your days as Agent Smith. This was something my people had put some thought into before everything began.” Smith explained.

“Then I suppose that if we do win and KaMaRi loses or draws with Bazalonia, then we clinch the group. In fact with KaMari playing Kose and the Turkomans in the finale we’ve all but technically clinched a playoff spot already, considering we’re a win and change ahead of Bazalonia and Kose and the Turkomans.” Anderson went on.

“What my people haven’t told me about this! Explain yourself.” Smith said actually paying attention for the first time.”

“Think about it. We’re at 18 points, so that’s the worst we can do. Scenario 1)KaMaRi has 16 points so if they get two draws that brings them to 18, BUT since they play Bazalonia and KT, if I might abbreviate them, that means Bazalonia gets 4 points- winning their last match and KT gets 4 by winning against us. That puts the Bazalopes at 18 but KT only gets 17. Sure it’d be a three way tie for first and we’d probably get bumped to the playoffs most likely by Bazalonia on goal differential but we’d still beat out KT for third worst case. No other KaMaRi scenario would get all four teams this close because any KaMaRi win automatically lets us beat out either Bazalonia or KT for a playoff spot.

“Scenario 2, KT wins out, that’s the only way they can catch us right now and they can’t tie us. That puts them at 19, but means KaMari would have lost to them which means their best effort is to beat Bazalonia which means they get 3 points and 19. BUT this means Bazalonia maxes out at 17 which puts them one short of our total so we’re in the playoffs again.

“Scenario 3, Bazalonia wins out. That puts them at 20 to beat us KT moves to 16 with a win against us and KaMaRi has to have suffered the loss so they’re at 16 as well. Last match KaMaRi vs. KT- no way they can both pass us.

“Scenario 4- Bazalonia gets 4 points- with the draw against KaMaRi. They tie us at 18 and probably beat us on goal differential. KaMari is at 17 going into their last match. KT beats us to get to 16. Again we’d beat one of these two out for a playoff spot.

“ There are other scenarios but these come out closest as far as us not making the playoffs. End result, today’s draw clinched us a playoff spot no matter what happens.” Specialist Anderson concluded.

“What do you mean? How could this happen! My people haven’t told me about this! Dammit even the hosts claim we haven’t clinched anything yet! How can you be so sure?!?!” Smith demanded.

“I do my homework Agent Smith, and being good with numbers is what got me my promotion to Smith rank to begin with. As for the hosts, they probably had some intern throw the numbers together and the kid probably had a date later on so he just looked at the raw numbers and passed it on to his boss without actually looking at the remaining schedule. The fact that KaMaRi finishes with Bazalonia and Kose and the Turkomans ensures our qualification, they each take points the other needs to get past us no matter what happens.” Anderson explained calmly to the now flustered Smith.

Jumping to his feet Smith turned and ran off calling over his back “I’ve got to talk to my people Anderson. See you later.” As he left the room and sprinted down the corridors to the surprise of the staff working within.

Huz-Ig had gotten his gang together and had broken in to the Az-cz Scroll but things were suprisingly easy. The security sensors were no more rigorous than normal and some would say less rigorous than normal. The security guards made their rounds but they didn't seem to be particularly on guard for anything abnormal. So they had a easy time making it to the outer room of where the robots were being held. Even the precautions there weren't too tough to break and soon enough they found themselves at the inner room. But just as they had heard it reported there was absolutely no way in. But the truly perplexing thing was that everyone in the crew heard voices and activity inside the room. Something was defintely happening inside of the room. But they couldn't figure out what. So they carefully made their way.

After they regrouped they figured that there must have been either an entrance from above or below so they checked the floor plans and investigated what was below the room. And there were no floors below it, which matched with what they thought. They didn't know of and couldn't find any stair cases down to a lower level, so they ruled out entrance from below. And they were able to get up to the second floor and directly above the room but there were no entrances there either. It seemed to be the case that there were people living in that room and working in that room, but with out an entrance or an exit. The team was totally freaked out by that and decided they'd really need to investigate the legends before going back to work. They were hoping to take advantage of the team securing its spot in the cup proper to get some more investigating done on the premises.

And your altars shall become desolate, and your sun-images shall be broken; and I will cast down your slain men before your idols.
Ezekiel 6:4


“…ad much the better of the first half, following Fred Ma’s fourteenth-minute opener. The combination of Ignacio Vélez and O’Sullivan Caras had created Ma’s chance, but it was pretty much the last opportunity the two Cafundéu-based stars had to work together; with Caras’ recurring thigh injury forcing him out of the game before the twenty-minute mark.

“Donnelly was forced to react by bringing on William Burgos, the América wing-back, who took up a wide position; and his ongoing battle with M’an Gwent became a key feature of the match. Yet despite C&M’s injury worries – they were also missing Oberon Martinez in goal, with Ozzy Stefano belatedly becoming only the third goalkeeper to represent the Big Blues in a competitive fixture – there was a clear sense that the visiting Bettians were on the back foot. A passionate crowd at the Khatib Together Stadium were unlucky not to see their side at least two up before the break, but in the second half the ultimate quality and experience of the visitors began to tell.

“Particularly impressive was the Pifton Rovers man Ziiaq, a barely five-foot tall dynamo wh–”

“Ha! That’ll be what Hernández calls taking the effing mick…”

“Shh!”

“…r the Bettians without finding the back of the net, until the sixty-seventh minute when he beat the sluggish Ben Head and set up Samuel Taha. After what was by all accounts a poor performance from the Albrecht Turkish man the last time he visited this stadium, in the nil-all draw with Turks’ Club earlier this season, the evergreen forward made no mistake and produced a sparkling turn and shot for which Stefano could in no way be held to blame.

“In the end, C&M were hanging on for their point; with Llifon Rhys hitting the post and, in the eighty-ninth minute, Asam Cirebon was allowed through on goal by a startling cross-field ball from Gwent. Not for the first time this season after their tussles in the Champions’ Cup however the Raynor City midfielder failed to get the better of A.Turks centre-back Steven Williams, whose expertly-timed tackle kept the Big Blues in the hunt for automatic qualification.

“But what chance do C&M really have of taking that spot from the Aroras? Well, not a great deal, manager Lloyd Donnelly was forced to admit.”

“Yeah, look, we’re two points behind them… Basically three, when you take into account the head-to-head record, so realistically we’ve got to hope that they lose in Lovisa – which isn’t impossible, I’ll grant you, but on current form you’d get good odds for it.

“We’ve just got to concentrate on our own games, ‘cos we’re not even assured of a play-off place yet. These two final matches are going to be huge for our boys, and, y’know, our developing injury nightmare has been well-documented. It doesn’t look like we’re going to have Sully or Obby back any time soon, never mind Cassa, and, y’know, Ben Head was looking pretty touch-and-go when he came off. And equally, I think we can all see that for guys like Ben and Ignacio, at their age all these games are starting to take their toll.”

“Donnelly declined to say however whether he was considering making widespread changes for the East Antairees game, given the number of concerns over the fitness of several of his squad.

“Staying with football, and Cathedral City manager Charlie Cunningham has described the revelations surrounding club midfielder Johnathon Filmar’s sex antics on tour with the Blouman national team as ‘an issue for his own FA’, but club insiders have told Candelariasian papers that Cunningham and many of Filmar’s fellow players have been left deeply unhappy by his unprofessional attitude and, despite Cunningham’s claims that the matter was closed from his point of view, Filmar has not been named in the Cats’ sixteen-man squad for the forthcoming CMS Cup game with Port of Clotaire, with his place set to be taken by Alejandro Jerez.

“News of the behaviour of Filmar and his team-mate has dominated the Blouman press over recent days, and no doubt the naming of Filmar will see the El din papers pick up on the story in greater depth. The editorial on the online edition of the Observer has already waggishly tipped the Empire to lift the Cup of Harmony, given that the sex scandal of the Orean Three helped galvanise the C&M national field hockey team towards their sensational World Championship victory several months ago. Whether messers Filmar and Konogger can go on to attain the same celebrity status in their own homeland as Bizley, Laziz, Schagerlind and the Kura-Pellandi umpire Louisa Giles here remains to be see, bu–”

“Do you have to keep listening to that?” Sukie asked irritably, leaning over in the tiny Morales and depressing the radio knob.

“Sorry I’m sure… I’m only trying to keep up with it all. I’m supposed to be there, in case you’d forgotten!”

“It doesn’t sound like they needed you,” Sukie told Tom Redway sweetly.

“No… Looks like Youngers and Steve are just about the only guys there without an injury.” The centre-half rubbed his calf (again, not a young cow) with one hand and his face with the other. God, he felt so drained, so lifeless. He’d always hated missing game through injury, but the way he was feeling right now was summin’ else. He’d be talking to the Port of Clotaire medical staff about this right now, he was quite sure of that, if he hadn’t being semi-willingly abducted by the clearly deranged woman sitting next to him. She was looking at him with obvious concern.

“Christ, you look a state,” she muttered. “You sure you’re okay for this?”

“If I knew what ‘this’ was I’d be sure to tell you… How the hell do you know about me, anyway? About the whole, y’know…”

“Gnome thing? A certain mister Hernández told me a couple of weeks back. I thought you’d probably be more attentive than any of your colleagues. Plus, you happened to be in Clotaire, so –”

“Hang on… Hernández knows I’m still with Ma-Gl?!”

“Hm? Yeah… Of course. The little bastard knows all and sees all, I’m afraid.”

“God…” Tom jammed a hand into a pocket for a mobile phone. “I’ve got to warn her! If he knows, th–”

“Where is she, right now?”

“Um… Back home in Mil-Bax.”

“Then I’m sure she’s perfectly safe.”

“Right. Yeah. Am I?”

“Only while I’m still driving… Now shush, we’re here.”

Tom turned to the window. They’d left the more gritty side of Clotaire behind, the part where the effects of Hurricane Neil were still very much in evidence. This was his city, he’d been born and bred here, but Tom still found it remarkable that there were enough poor people here to support whole districts where the houses remained battered and wobbly. It seemed as though the government rebuilding programme hadn’t reached places like this just yet… but then Clotaire locals didn’t tend to vote Unionist. Here though it was far more salubrious, and you’d never have known that Neil had ever hit.

“Any fear of you actually explaining what I’m here for, Ms. Roheart?”

“Rohaert. I’m investiga… well, studying a series of deaths h–”

“Of those kids? It’s been on the news a lot.”

“Quite. I’ve reason to believe they’re not as cut and dried as everyone thinks. I rather need to snoop about a bit, ask some questions. You’re my ‘in’. You’ll soon see why…”

Before Tom could ask further questions of his own, the woman had left the car and was marching up to the front door of the house opposite. Shrugging, the footballer meekly followed and tottered down the path on his one good foot.

Sukie knocked, and a worn-looking woman answered. “Yes…?”

“Angela Green? Hi. Can I first express my deepest condolences for your recent losses? I’m Susannah… Smith, from the CheeryGrins foundation? We’re aware that your son, Oliver, has been going through a difficult time recently, what with losing both his father and brother in the space of a year and that, and we wondered whether he’d appreciate a visit fro–”

The young Oliver Green suddenly bounded down the hallway. “C&M international and Port of Clotaire centre-half Tom Redway?!” he exclaimed. “Rectangle!*”

Tom waved awkwardly. Angela sighed. “Um… Right. I suppose you’d better come in, then. Can I get you a coffee, or…?”

“Howlongareyougoingtobeoutinjuredfor,MrRedway,Tom,Sir?” Oliver demanded happily.

“Um… I don’t know… It’s quite a difficult injury…” What are you doing to me? Tom mouthed at Sukie. She shrugged.

“Hey, so what’s it like playing with Serkan Turkmen? He’s a good player, isn’t he? Although, is it true he’s going to put in a transfer request if you don’t get into the Champions’ Cup at all this season? I reckon it’d be good for C&M if he stayed though, ‘cos my mate Fehmi says that like one in fifty Candelariasians are Turkish or Turkmen or whatever but there’s really only him an’ Özkan Yalçin and Can Cetin playing, and that’s down south, so maybe it’ll convince more of ‘em to get into football, don’t you think? What’s Natalie Instonenext like as a captain, I think there should be more girl captains, don’t you? Hey, do you think you might have a job forcing Andrew Jordan out of the side, ‘cos he was really good against Turkish? Is Mason gonna play Matt La Vista at all? I know he’s only young but he used to go to my school and everyone says he’s better than Arthur Walker. I don’t see what all the fuss is about him, I’m sure whoever gets the Di Bradini job’s going to pick Arthur Wangen at right-back instead, he’s supposed to be playing really well over in Bloumany. Hey, did you here about what that Cathedral player got up to over there, ‘cos my mate Fehmi says that on the net it says tha–”

“I don’t think we really need to hear about that, Ollie,” Angela said quietly.

“’Scuse me, Angela? Couldn’t use your bathroom, could I?” Sukie asked, partly out of a wish to pull Tom and Mrs. Green out of their own private hells.

“Ye-es,” the poor woman mumbled. “It’s just down the hall, there.”

“Right. Oh. Ur… Have you got an upstairs bathroom?”

“What? Um, yes, it’s jus–”

“Brilliant. Thanks. I like to have a view while I… wash my… hands…?”

Sukie darted up the stairs, leaving Tom to his fate, and pushed open the door conscientiously marked ‘William’s Room.’ Much to her only slightly ghoulish pleasure it looked pretty much untouched since the deceased boy had last inhabited it. It was evidently kept dusted, and the police had rifled through every draw already, but the poor old stick downstairs evidently decided to keep things much as they’d previously been. In case he came back, presumably, although that would be a pretty neat trick considering that he was festering several feet below the ground right now.

Sukie wasn’t entirely sure what she was looking for, but she was feeling increasingly certain that she wasn’t going to find it. William Green’s room looked like pretty much any other teenage boy’s bedroom, though she was by no means an expert on the subject. There weren’t any half-naked young women on the walls, though Angela might conceivably have opted to remove them, and a quick shifty under the bed revealed a distinct absence of top-shelf material… But there was also a well-thumbed bible sitting by the bedside table, so that explained that then. He’d obviously been gay.

Perhaps there simply wasn’t any conspiracy here to find. William had fallen down the stairs and broken nearly every bone in his body. QED. Perhaps the media had got it wrong, anyway, and exaggerated the extent of his injuries. Even more QED.

She left the room, pulled the door up and stood on the landing. She should go back downstairs and rescue Redway, but the poor kid Oliver might as well be allowed to enjoy the visit from one of his heroes Instead, Sukie crept forwards and pushed open the younger boy’s door, to be met with a tempest of pink.

“D’oh,” she muttered to herself, as she was confronted with signed Benji Fu, Damien Waterman and David Wolverton shirts, a Radyukevich CSC bedspread, Radyukevich CSC wallpaper, a stack of Radyukevich CSC annuals and similar goodies dating back to the late 1920s, and generally all the paraphernalia required of a young fan of Clotaire’s other club.

She sighed again and backed away, moving to pull the door to again. But a small noise coming from under the bed made her stop.

A minute-or-so later, Tom Redway’s minor nightmare was interrupted by a shout from upstairs. He rushed gratefully out into the hall, followed by Angela and Oliver.

“What?”

“Um, Angela?” came the reply. “And Oliver too, probably. I couldn’t borrow you a sec, could I?”

“Why?” the Green woman shouted up, guardedly.

“Um. Did you know you had a lamb up here?”

Angela turned slowly towards her surviving son. Suitably, the boy grinned sheepishly and looked at his feet.

__________________

*The Candelariasian equavilant of ‘awesome!’, and whatnot. Nah, God knows, mate.

http://www.KTTMLNews.ko.tm
Turkmen To stay!
Turkmen has said that he will commit himself to his club no matter what and he will leave if he isn't wanted, but as long as he puts in the performances he would like to remain in Candelaria And Marquez.

WCQuals: Do or Die
It's crunch time in the group with all of the top 4 squaring up against each other . In what can only be described as a David vs. Goliath match up K&TT face off against Tynelia who will be expecting an easy win after the 3-3 draw in the Ibrahim Stadium. The other massive match is KaMaRi's make or break against Bazalonia who will be looking to restore there lost form after two disappointing results.

A lot of people have written off the Turks chances of pulling a major upset tonight but with Sinan Kose and Serkan Turkmen returning to the squad they should look to field a full strength squad against Tynelia as the alternative would be, being knocked out of the tournament.

Have your say on these stories:

Ugur: It's good that Serkan is looking to play in C&M for as long as he can and he is good enough to make a massive impact on the Turkic population out there.

Kemal154: Tynelia should be respected not feared I think if we can get the ball to the wings we can expose their wing backs and break the paper tiger, as their defense seems plagued with issues at the moment.

Kulbilge: We need our top players on form tonight if we are to hold on to any lingering hopes of qualification and deal with each game as it comes! Good Luck Turkler.

Official Communication by the Imperial Football Association of Daehanjeiguk

To the Candelaria And Marquez Football Association:

A recent investigation by members of the Han Intelligence Community has revealed that Lorenzo de Wilde is the owner of an online anarchist group. While he is respected in Cheonjin as a powerful defender, there is reason to believe that de Wilde's adherence to anarchist ideology presents a grave security risk to the Han Empire, and therefore cannot be allowed. At the present moment, the Imperial Football Association is therefore forced to reconsider Lorenzo de Wilde's participation in the National Football League after Season 5. Imperial Authorities have presented to us three options:

1 - Lorenzo de Wilde formally and irrevocably recants his adherence to anarchist ideology. He must surrender any anarchist files, any information linked to anarchist groups in the Han Empire that either he or others have sponsored, and he must never affiliate himself - publicly or privately - with anarchism. If Lorenzo de Wilde decides to adhere to anarchism after this case, he will not be warned again, and summarily will be addressed as a threat to Imperial and National security.

2 - Lorenzo de Wilde leaves the Han Empire, never to return here while he associates himself to anarchist ideology. He must surrender all files of residency, which will be summarily destroyed and invalidated. If any person carrying de Wilde's Imperial identifications is caught after these actions, the person carrying the identifications will be summarily identified as an Imperial threat to security; de Wilde will also be charged with illegal forgery of Imperial documents and an extradiction will be appealed to the Candelariasian (or Marquezian) courts.

3 - If Lorenzo de Wilde does not adhere to any of these policies, upon his return to the Han Empire, he will be charged with the crime of anarchist subversion - a crime which carries the punishment of exile. His affiliation to anarchism will be noted in all of our criminal databases and anywhere he goes, we will know. If he chooses to escape exile without consulting our authorities - regardless of his national affiliation and citizenship - he will be killed.

While we do not entirely agree with these demands placed upon us by the Imperial Government, we do agree that his policy on anarchy is incompatible with his residency in the Han Empire; therefore, if he were to choose to remain associated with anarchist ideology, we would have to revoke his contract agreement with Cheonjin, offering no compensation to him directly. In lieu of these circumstances, we are offering the CMFA to help expedite a painless resolution. If de Wilde vows never to return to the Han Empire while he adheres to anarchism, we will pay the CMFA a sum of 35,000,000圓 (at present, $67,802,000); if the CMFA can assure his unconditional and irrevocable recantation of his anarchist ideology, we will double the payment.

We hope that this matter is resolved quickly and peacefully. We have no intention to drag out this matter any longer than it needs to be, and if none of our requests are met, we will have no choice but to submit to Imperial authority.

Count Jeong Mongjun, Chairman of the Imperial Football Association
鄭夢準伯,大韓蹴球協會會長
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/soccer.png

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DUAS VITÓRIAS, MAS ESPERANÇAS DE QUALIFICAÇÃO AUTOMÁTICA SE TORNAM PEQUENAS!

After defeating Dancougar in the very important game in the Obelisco Monumental, the Monopolists started the series of games that have to be victories if the team wants to keep a good form for the World Cup proper and, before everything, to qualify to it. Two of these games were already played, and the results were the predictable ones. Two wins by a good margin, and two opponents defeated. Once again, the offensive strength of Cafundéu made the difference, and the team now is at least in the playoffs... which isn't enough for the 8th best country of the world.

Of these two last games, the first one was against Hopeful SC, a team composed by members of the many different churches. They were very hopeful that they could win this game, but Cafundéu is a team with a lot of faith too (as the Pope was born in Cafundéu, glory to Linus V!), and could win the game without difficulties. They were even able to score with Rabbi Allens, but goals scored by Saulo, Careca, Augusto César and Carlos Magno ended with their hopes, and gave another easy three points for the Monopolists.

The second of these two games was the one against Krasslor. While Hopeful SC could at least score a goal, Krasslor couldn't even do this. They had difficulties since the first minutes of the game and had only two shots at the goal, while Cafundéu pressured them. Flecha scored twice, and Moreira, returning from injury, scored the goal that guaranteed another victory of the red-black team against the minor countries that are in the group. Now, the team needs to win the next two games and hope for a mistake by Quakmybush to qualify automatically.

CAFUNDÉU 4x1 HOPEFUL SC

Place: Maracatuzão, in Dunboor.
Attendance: 109,673 people.
Referee: Ted Garrido (Candelaria And Marquez).
MOTM: Augusto César (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva (Careca 45'), Marcelinho (Giovanni 67') and Carlos Magno; Flecha (Gian 80') and Saulo.
Coach: Caio Meback.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/hopeful_sc.png HOPEFUL SC: Wall; Martins, Sullivan and Wohler; Corner, Gomez and Speed; Smith (Abrams 70'), Allens, Edison and Mortens (Judas 45').
Coach: Alan Bell.

Goals:CAF: Saulo 49' , Careca 63' , Augusto César 66' , Carlos Magno 81'.
HOF: Allens 68'.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KRASSLOR 0x3 CAFUNDÉU

Place: unknown place in somewhere distant.
Attendance: who knows? not even the stadium owner.
Referee: Daniel Peters (Bazalonia).
MOTM: Flecha (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/krasslor.png KRASSLOR: no team released.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha (Gian 72'), Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva, Marcelinho and Moreira (Conceição 80'); Flecha and Saulo (Careca 55').
Coach: Caio Meback.

Goals:CAF: Flecha 11'/24' , Moreira 67'.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Gweridijongyia: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva, Marcelinho and Moreira; Flecha and Saulo.
Coach: Caio Meback.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Jorge Botaniates (The Holy Empire).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

10- Flecha
4- Saulo, Moreira
3- Marcelinho
2- Silveira, Da Silva, Augusto César
1- Rubiano, Alex, Carlos Magno, Careca

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%201.PNG

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Tertius Shajarrayam

International Bids To Be Accepted For New Stadium Construction

The Pazhujeb Islands Ministry of Commerce has made an announcement that it will officially accept bids from private entities for the construction of the Pazhujeb Islands national football team's new stadium. A specific part of the announcement specifies that not only will be bids from international companies be considered, but such bids are encouraged and welcomed.

Although it has not been determined in which city the stadium will be built, various locations have been suggested, most notably, Bengaluru, Dussenvussi, Mahathu, Urajbina, Vikhajadukhrim, and, of course, the capital Fajr... (continued on page L7)

Garlic Sales Skyrocket

In another press conference, the Ministry of Commerce released data on specific food consumption by the Pazhujebi population. Though the study revealed several interesting trends (see more specifics on page W33), by far the most fascinating is data which suggests purchases and consumption of garlic have gone through the roof over the last few days. Ministry officials were at a loss to explain this phenomenon... (continued on page W29)

National Team Dominate Vampires, Get Revenge

In a completely unrelated story, the Pazhujeb Islands national football team snatched an at least temporary two point lead over the Archregimancy for second place in Group 4 by defeating the small nation of Diojiu. Fans will remember that they were defeated by the Diojiuans earlier on in qualifying, and during the loss the pitch was flooded with blood and a substitute striker for the Urchins was converted into a vampire, infuriating many.

But this time around, the match was far less eventful. Aside from what appeared to be a nagging ankle injury that required midfielder Xussanikara Ghur to be pulled in the 33rd minute, and from a mostly unsurprising eleven cautions from known card enthusiast Krytenian Eugene Artemescu, it was very late in the second half before the match saw a goal from either side. In the end, it was the Purple Turbans who grabbed this opportunity, and they never allowed a vampiric comeback.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png Pazhujeb Islands 2
Amutarrad; Tushambanda, Lissama, Idarha, and Rha; Parokshara (Basfataj 85'), Abadhyash, Quridheru, and Ghur (Qiva 33'); Panithaj and Vuhumkara (Bicharna 90+1')

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/diojiu.png Diojiu 0
(No team released, however, the side made three substitutions in the 51st, 54th, and 62nd minutes and received seven yellow cards but no reds.)

Referee: Eugene Artemescu (Krytenia)

Goalscorers-
TPI: Abadhyash 79', Panithaj 90+2'
DIO: (none)

Matchday 1: Beer Served Here - Pazhujeb Islands (1-3 W)
Matchday 2: Pazhujeb Islands - The Archregimancy (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 3: Diojiu - Pazhujeb Islands (2-0 L)
Matchday 4: Pazhujeb Islands - Kolanderaz (@ K'arasiam Sarvatobhav in Pkethat Hevnaje) (3-2 W)
Matchday 5: Squornshelous - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Vogsphere Arena in Vogsphere) (3-2 L)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Holy Empire (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 6: Pazhujeb Islands - Beer Served Here (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (4-0 W)
Matchday 7: The Archregimancy - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Peaceful Woodland Glade in the Dreamed Realm) (3-1 L)
Matchday 8: Pazhujeb Islands - Diojiu (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (2-0 W)
Matchday 9: Kolanderaz - Pazhujeb Islands
Matchday 10: Pazhujeb Islands - Squornshelous (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)
Post-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Starblaydia (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%202.PNG

"So you think this will work?"

"Of course. Socrates here knows where to fly..."

"OK, let's see..."

The notepaper with "we win 2-1" was written on a scrap of paper and tied to Socrates' leg. With a hefty swing he was thrown into the air and flapping away, heading back home.

Socrates navigated the unseen pathways of the pigeon. The magnetic field contours were familiar, a cock of the eye here, a twist of the wing there. Occasionally stopping at a lake for a drink and at a tree for food, Socrates had the nagging sensation that Home was somewhere around, maybe a few hours' flight away.

The pull of Wentland was strong. The hidden guidance took Socrates over Walled City to the familiar coastline. Somewhere in his eye a neuron fired recognition. This was it! Home at last!

Then he was eaten by a starving osprey.

Nine? Ja! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13598776&postcount=13)

"...he's waking up."

No, he wasn't. As much as that particular little cliche would have left untold billions rejoicing, Simeone Di Bradini was not going to wake up, probably ever. Not a single one of the many doctors, consultants, surgeons and assorted medical do-gooders could do a single thing for the coma-bound legend. Even Tiberius Starblayde's own personal physician, the Dwarven Doctor Roin, knew there was nothing he could do. Simeone Di Bradini's days were numbered, and you could probably count them on one hand.

The media had gotten wind of it, somehow. Oh for the days of the tyranny when the media's every word was censored to each and every individual letter. They were screaming out their news every morning, noon and night, the front gates of the Di Bradini mansion were besieged by reporters, TV vans, camera crews and an array of worldwide pointing mobile satellite uplinks. In short, a media circus. All for a man who had achieved everything in his footballing life - bar winning the World Cup itself, of course. Here it was all to end, in his bed, asleep, surrounded by friends. On friend, however, older than the rest, shorter and stouter and beardier, had already received instructions.

"Ah, ken what tae do." Said the figure. Lord Khim Azanulbizarn, Starblaydia's latest Minister for Sport. The former international full-back was one of Simeone's closest friends, and he was the only one in the country who knew what the dying man's wishes were.

"We never did find out who murdered you," Simeone said, placing his hand flat against the top of the gravestone, "Robb tried and tried, but he never could."

"We both tried," Khim said, squatting down to lay the flowers - Starblaydi Orchids - by the graveside of their former colleague. Ceri Salisbury, Starblaydi international full-back, had been murdered during World Cup 24's Qualifiers, and right up to the present day his case was still unsolved. No-one knew quite what happened, or why. 'Who' had been a particularly tricky question too.

"I'm dying, Khim." Simeone said it with no emotion, his eyes firmly fixed on the gravestone. "I'm dying, soon, and I don't want to end up like this."

"We gonna burn ye?" Khim said, with his usual tact.

"A boat," Simeone said "give me a retreating tide, and let me sail away to oblivion."

"Ye be a cold bastid," Khim said.

"I've had a long time to think about it and plan for it," replied the human, "once you've come to terms with it, it's like anything else."

"Aye, ah ken," Khim nodded, knowing that when he finally died, he would be laid alongside his ancestors in the great tomb of his family. This was not really any different, was it?

How they managed to keep it secret, they would never know. Somehow they made it to the east coast of mainland Starblaydia with no press, no police and no-one following them. Along a wide, sandy beach, an ornate wooden boat sat in the soft white sand. They laid the old, frail body of Simeone Di Bradini into the boat, still alive but lifeless for all who looked upon him. At his feet, in the style of the old gods, they placed his belongings.

The Daii of old would have seen their swords, shields, armour and battle trophies placed with them in their Barrrow in the ground, or in their boat on the water. For Simeone Di Bradini it was the spoils of a lifetime of footballing achievement. The famous bright white and gold-edged boots were his weapons, the number ten shirt he wore as captain of Starblaydia in World Cup 18 was his armour. His spoils were Winners medals from a club career of supreme achievement, both in Starblaydia and The Belmore Family, as well as those of a manager, medals for winning trophies at Under-21 and Senior level. Trophies for best player, most goals, awards of all descriptions, and the sign from his desk that read 'Simeone Di Bradini, WCC President': these are what he won in life and, as any Fam'dai believer would want, they would prove his honour in the Deathworld.

The Sun was due to come up and the tide was going out. A fresh breeze kicked up as they placed a Starblaydi flag across his body, eyes closed to the skies above. The men shoved. Khim Azanulbizarn, Lex Panarii, young Carlito Di Bradini, Armando Gomez at the rear, and Tiberius Starblayde, too, added his muscles to the force. They waded in up to their waists - nearly to Khim's neck - before the boat took it's own path. Armando was the last to let go, all seven feet four of him, pushing his old friend for all he was worth, giving him the swiftest possible start to his journey to the other side.

As the vessel slowly drifted off directly into the morning sunrise, the men were blinded for a short moment by a piercing ray of light that made them all cover their eyes. When they regained their vision, they could no longer see the boat.

Simeone Di Bradini was dead and gone.

"Hey"

"Wow! Long time no see so how are the qualifiers going?"

"Excellently, we have won every game so far, with one game to go and-"

"WAIT WE HAVE ONE GAME TO GO!!!!!! What happened? Just yesterday I could have sworn we saw the predictions in the newspaper"

"Well it's been a busy time, remember the national debate championships, the info dearth after the major media strike, and the dawning of the Age of Aquarius has pushed us back a bit"

"Well has there been any interesting news about us"

"Yeh, Newmanistan said that our fans had no passion so we struck back and beat up some of their fans when we traveled there along with taking over the stadium with our chants and cheers. It was awesome."

"How come we didn't talk about this earlier?"

"Did you not listen to me? A lot has been going on, it's been hard to communicate every day but I guarantee we'll do better come the World Cup"

"Wait, we qualified?"

"Yep 9-0-0, plus 40 GD and one more game to go to get a perfect qualifying record"

"Wow! That's ridiculous, we actually might live up to our predictions. That doesn't seem possible"

"Occasionally even the Milchamian media is correct"

"I guess, but it seems so unlikely"

"True, but let's celebrate the occasion instead of scream about it"

"Why? We missed an entire qualifying stage and we lost in semis of the WBC"

"SEMIS!!!!!!!!!! TO WHO?!"

"Qazox"

"THE OX WORSHIPPERS!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AWFUL. WE SUCK!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sheesh now you're the one getting mad"

"Ah but my anger is about something important"

"Not anything more or less important than mine"

"That's not true"

"Yes it is"

"No it isn't"

"Yes it is"

"No it isn't"

"Yes it is"

"No it isn't"

"Yes it is"

"No it isn't"

"What are we arguing about anyway?"

"I can't even remember"

"Hey the Cubs are on you want to watch"

"Nah, Come on you Warriors!"

"Sure"

Abaio were leading Jeruselem 2-1. Jeruselem did not want to lose this game and things weren't going well. Kate Sallad for yellow carded for protesting a disputed free and Kara Kool couldn't play due to headaches. Even the calm Scarlet Ferris was upset at the game, with the referee favouring the local Abaio team.

Time was ticking as it seemed D2R would claim the top spot with Abaio claiming a famous victory over the Princesses. It was approaching the end, when Jacinta Sallad got an elbow in the face. The referee though she was just diving again as she lay on the ground acting like a little girl. He saw red spots of blood on her pink strip and worked out she wasn't diving this time. The Jeruselem team doctors ran out to help the girl with her bleeding nose.

The referee gave the defender a yellow card as Kate Sallad glared at him for giving her sister a bloody nose. They took a crying Jacinta Sallad off the field with her football strip looking a bit bloody. Scarlet Ferris asked Kate if she wanted to take the kick, and Kate was positive.

She lined up her kick and jiggled a bit to loosen up her stiff limbs. This had a distracting effect as when she wobbled, she was distracting as her boobies kinda vibrated around in her top. The Abaio keeper seeing she was a "Dallas clone" guessed the right left clone as Dazza would but Sallad just kinda put the ball under his feet. 2 ALL it ended.

The team later saw Jacinta Sallad in the changing room. She was sitting down in a dressing gown and looking a bit happier with box of tissues. Sister Marsha sat down with the Jacinta and did what good Nuns do, a bit of good spirtual healing. As Sister Marsha knew what Jacinta Sallad was like coaching her at the Turtle Cup I, she knew what to do with her fragile charge.

A worried Kate Sallad turned up to lend moral support to her sister.

World Cup 40 Qualifiers: 6-3-0 (1)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) --- (26)HAN

국제험담
International Gossip
Case #09 - Bribery

I've discovered something rather disturbing. Today, I read some reports that indicated the Han were bribing Casari to let them win the match. I didn't quite believe the validity of these reports, but as I began to dig some dirt, I've found out that it's not only just Casari, but everyone else as well. Consider it! How else could the Han Team not lose a single match? It's impossible! And wouldn't you know? Casari and Engbec were the only two teams not accept the bribes - Engbec primarily because they failed to reply in time, and Casari because they accidentally ate the message. This time, the Han tried to send a messenger, thinking that the Casarans wouldn't eat her (and I know it's a she!).

This is a disturbing development for any old ethical Han citizen. How could our government endorse paying other countries to let the Han win every single match? Well, I've decided to do some more digging, and I've found out that bribery is quite a common practice, more common than the practice of burning up rubber chickens. The more successful teams manage to bribe everyone, and the Han have taken after one of the worst bribers in the World - UCS. The fact that the SLANI won the title last Cup - not to mention at home! - only helps my case. I've concluded that bribery is an essential part of the World Cup.

But what about those countries that are more ethically oriented or more socialist? After all, there are a number of teams that are socialist and ethically-oriented that have made a significant impact in the World Cup. The most successful teams are in fact more often socialists than capitalists; how so do we explain that bribes are important? Well, as I mentioned, bribes only work if you have the money, but to a socialist, how much money is enough? Obviously, it's very expensive to try and bribe socialists (not communists - on the contrary, communists are quite your average capitalist); so these socialist teams happen to be very good teams that beat out the most expensive training and bribe plans in the world on the merit of their playing.

So then the World Cup is more or less the greatest contest between the two camps of the global class war. And in recent years, the Capitalists have been pulling out the heavy artillery. In addition to the vaunted BuyAGoal.com scheme - one of the most powerful tools used yet in the war - the Capitalists are fielding teams of robots, sentient fruits, and vampires, all in an attempt to beat out the Socialists. And the Han have apparently joined the foray on the side of the capitalists - nothing against them. But it's going to be a confusing array, as there's no longer any unified front against anyone. The Han are classically ethical, but capitalist. Ariddia is classically ethical but socialist. The SLANI are classically secularist, but definitely capitalist. So who is going for whom? Well, I think it can be best summarized in the saying - "We're on the winning team, regardless of who's winning."

Be sure to come back for my final editorial. It's sure to give you a great blast!

IFA Head Coach Interview - Part 2

马尼拉 (MALNIRA) - 9光武年1月5日 (5th day of the 1st month of the 9th year of reign of the Emperor Gwangmu) | Following the Imperial Team's triumph over Sarrejavo at home in Malnira today and Casari's simultaneous draw against Magnus Valerius, the Imperial Team is now in the coveted first position, set on our way to automatic qualification. Of course, the only thing barring progress is this darned match against Casari, which will be the most decisive one yet. Last time these two teams met, it was a boring 0-0 contest in Hangyeong. Incidentally, the Imperial Team makes the trip to Casari amid concerns of an epidemic of man-eating potatoes there; for this reason, the number of accompanying fans will be severely restricted until the Empire is assured of the safety of its citizens. There are also rumors of terrorist plots in Casari; whether they are being orchestrated by the man-eating potatoes is another concern. Some Imperial advisors suggested sending in a crack team of potato-eating crickets to help with the situation, but a considerable objection was made by members of the Imperial Assembly, informed of the presence of several populations of cricket-eating hamsters within the state of Casari.

In any case, we'll have one last chance to talk to Ioshido Toki before he heads away to Casari. Here he is now:

吉田 - Ioshido Toki, Head Coach
MBC - Interviewer

MBC: Congratulations on yet another win! So far undefeated, and even if the Imperial Team pulls away from Casari with a loss, it won't be as undeserving as to some of other teams in this group.

吉田: Well, we've had the opportunity to play against Casari, so I have expectations that the Team will play well. We should not lose this match.

MBC: Let's first talk about today's match against Sarejavo. Again, impressive striking. Who shone today in your opinion?

吉田: People are going to recognize that Jeong Jihun is scoring goals left and right, and rightfully so. He scored two today, but people are forgetting that he is making these highlights at the expense of my defenders. Jeong deserves his shine, as much as Song Jongguk, Hong Myeongbo, Kim Yongji, Kim Donghyeon, Kim Jingyu, and especially my goalkeepers. Today, I put in
Bong Junho as a test, and even though he perhaps had a light share of the load, he performed admirably, keeping out the shots that mattered.

MBC: So good defense coupled with great offense?

吉田: If you want to call it that; I don't believe any team should focus too stringently on one aspect. Sure, goals win games, but if your defense is too leaky, it lets loose the possibility of losing the same match. Basically, the team that keeps out more goals than the other is the one who wins.

MBC: That's pretty defensive.

吉田: It's not as simple as offense/defense balance. But I think that we could into a great debate about something as this, so let's not linger on about this.

MBC: Alright. Well onto the other teams in this group. Who's going to join Casari and Han?

吉田: I personally think that Jariss will. Engbec performed well against Jariss today, but they're also facing stiff opposition from Magnus Valerius, who also pulled off a strong draw against Casari. On the other hand, Jariss will face Sarejavo at home. In the opinion of odds, Jariss is the most likely to keep their lead over Engbec, who must win their match against Magnus Valerius. That said, it's possible for Magnus Valerius to qualify still, but they must hope that Jariss doesn't win against Sarejavo, and that they win against Engbec by over 2 points. Still a lot of possibilities. But for now, I think our priority should be against Casari.

MBC: Right! And so, what are the scenarios for qualification?

吉田: Well, they're actually pretty simple. The boys only need a draw to auto-qualify. But it's going to be in Casari, and I'd imagine that it will be difficult to play. Casari has been playing admirably throughout the qualification stage, and I wouldn't put a loss against them too far out of reach. But my job is to make the players prepared to face against Casari. I think we're doing well on the field. Obviously, the training that I've planned for the players is working, and they're taking to it very well. I have high praise for the three Cafundelense players. Kim Yongdae has been great in goal, following a great season with Clube Imperial. If he stays on for Season 8, I expect him to make a great impact there, and maybe carry away the Grand Final. Of course, Song Jongguk has been part of a great team that narrowly lost the last Grand Final to Petrados; but Petrados is a great team, so it's hard to beat on such strength. But I think Dunboor and Song can make it through. And Kim Byeongji, who started off his career like a sparkling star, has made some modest gains in his last years. All of the players have contributed a lot to their clubs, and I think that's starting to show in their play with their teammates.

MBC: Speaking of Cafundeu, they've managed to hold on to that top position in Group 2, where everything now banks on the last match against Quakmybush. What do you have to say about that?

吉田: Well, I expect it to be tough, but Cafundeu can come out on top. Coach Meback is a competent guy, and his expertise will help the team.

MBC: What about other heavyweights? Valanora for example?

吉田: Valanora is comfortable right now. They've dominated Group 5, so there's no reason why they shouldn't win their last match, as a matter of competitiveness ahead of the World Cup Finals.

MBC: Group 14 holds one of the teams favored in the Han Empire, UCS Jaseuyeon. Do you think that they will make the return trip to World Cup in this edition?

吉田: Right now, they're on track by standing on top of the the group. However, they will need to make a strong show against Demot, while hoping that Naboombu Umbongo makes a fall against Okuni - an unlikely scenario. I think that we shouldn't linger on these predictions. I'm not accustomed to them yet.

MBC: Very well. Any further word on the match against Casari?

吉田: Well, I can only say that I hope not to disappoint the fans.

MBC: Thank you. And I doubt that whether a win or loss, you can't disappoint the fans at this point.

吉田: It's my pleasure to have been here.

MBC: Ours too.

Goal Scorers
9 - Jeong Jihun
3 - Kim Daeeui, Baek Jihun
2 - Yi Dongguk, Yi Yeongpyo
1 - Kim Byeongji, Song Jongguk, An Pilrip, Hong Myeongbo[/QUOTE]

The Unaclaimed Newspaper

Knights Defeat Aqua Teen Hungerland

Last night the Purple Knights of Taeshan defeated Aqua Teen Hungerland 2-0 in Aqua Teen Hungerland. Knight goalscorers were John Kitna, and defender Jayly Riae on a corner kick.

In other news both Northern Bettia, and Yafor 2 have tied and theres a three way tie for first in group ten. With a win over Northern Bettia in there last qualifying match, and if Yafor 2 ties/loses there last match the Knights can advance to the World cup directly. Wioth a tie they're heade to playoffs, as with a lose.

The game is expected to have all the seats in X Island Metropark, in the most highly anticipated match in the history of Taeshani sports, well except for the WBC championships in Liventia vs Qazox fo the next week. The week is supposed to bhe the highest rated week ever for TSPN with the match being aired all day friday on a loop including the live showing at 1 0'clock. Then the days after will be all WBC championships, and the probable playoff matches, and hopeful world cup matches.

A little note for fans who care, the above team, the han has only been beaten this cup by yours trult the Taeshan Purple Knights.

World Cup 40 Qualifiers 0-3-6 (6)
MD1: SOL(58) 1-1 (173)PRA
MD2: PRA(173) 0-2 (3)ESF (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD3: BLU(64) 2-1 (173)PRA
MD4: PRA(173) 1-2 (153)AGR (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD5: BOS(24) 3-1 (173)PRA
MF1: KOS 0-0 PRA
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: PRA(173) 2-2 (58)SOL (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD7: ESF(3) 3-2 (173)PRA
MD8: PRA(173) 0-0 (64)BLU (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)
MD9: AGR(153) 1-0 (173)PRA
MD10: PRA(173) --- (24)BOS (@ Praži Štadyon oř’Futbol, Praz)

Prayers

Beloved Father,

We pray your patience upon us, we pray your mercy upon us. For failure to progress we have, and acknowledge our weakness we do. May we show verily the way to Your peace in our exit, and May our detractors be shown the ways of reconciliation. For the Lord works in mysterious ways, and that those who follow You may come to the Truth. We pray blessings upon our friends, and we pray mercy upon our enemies.

May God favor Daehanjeiguk, Jariss, Cafundeu, the Archregimancy, Bazalonia, Novapsolu, Kiryu-shi, Newmanistan, and Green Wombat. May they progress.

God bless us, every one.

Amen.

KENNETH: Here at Sportscenter, we strive to bring you the very best reports on the very best games, and to that end, we wish to issue a retraction. Some of our viewers... well, a lot of them... correctly pointed out that the rosters we posted for the last match against Hopeful SC was, in fact, the roster for Hopeless SC except in pig latin. We apologize to those who were offended, and are pleased to report that we do, in fact, have an official roster for Hopeful SC this time.

SCOTTY: The schedule read Hopeful at Dancougar, Gweridijongya at Cafundeu, a balance which gave the Wings an excellent chance to clinch a playoff berth tonight in the National Stadium. A win would put them in the driver's seat, and Charles DuPont left nothing to chance - he sent them forward early! We start in the sixth minute, Hideo Ikeda receives the through ball from Morimoto. Dribbles inside, beats his man, and takes the low shot... FAR POST! Just like that, it's 1-0 to the Black Wings, on Ikeda's team-leading fifth of qualifying. Minute thirteen, Akira Morimoto takes a free kick from twenty five yards out. And he's going to go for goal. And he's going to GET THE GOAL! Curls it around the wall, Pastor Wall can't get there in time, and it's 2-0.

KENNETH: The crowd spurring the team on, as news from Cafundeu, the Monopolists also up. The stars are aligning, and the attack does not cease. Hopeful SC, two attempts on goal in the first half, played over half of that time in their own third. Wings pounding away, here's Leyton with the low shot. Boskov takes a crack. Minute thirty nine, Wings net the third. Morimoto corner, the outswinger, and Evan Weatherford! The kid! The defender heading home to make it 3-0, his first goal in all competitions, as you take another look. Looks like it'll sail away and out of danger, but Weatherford comes up to meet it, and makes good on his chance.

SCOTTY: Second half, Hopeful looking to get back into the game, Father Speed getting the ball in the midfield and weaving through the defense. Minute fifty three, to Gomez on the wing. Sends a cross in, Smith is there in the box, and down he goes... play on, says the referee! The Bishop collides with Yamada on the jump, he wanted the obstruction call, didn't get it. Maybe he has has a good case, but the game continues. Minute sixty two, it's a rout. Morimoto collects the square ball from Leyton and fires it through the defense. Wall is screened and it's into the top corner, 4-0.

KENNETH: Hopeful would get onto the board in minute seventy one, Sullivan intercepts the through ball and clears it up to Speed. Speed drops it off for Gomez, who beats Weatherford up the side. Pulls it back and sends the low pass into the box. Yamada runs right over it and Paster Edison will take that charity pass any day of the week. Pounds it past Watanabe off the first touch to make it 4-1, but the Wings just flying too far in front at that point. Eightieth minute, still 4-1, Barclay steals the ball from Corner and starts the counter. Late sub Shiro Furuya is in for Ikeda, he gets behind Wohler, and it's one-on-one with Wall. And Furuya tears it down! His first goal of qualifying in just his second appearance, and the Wings cruise 5-1.

SCOTTY: The other games went in Dancougar's favor, with Cafundeu defeating Gweridijongya 3-1, which eliminates the G-men from playoff contention. That means Dancougar, with a game to spare, will clinch a spot in the second chance round. The group's automatic qualifying spot will be determined by the match between Cafundeu and Quakmybush. The Monopolists must win, or they, too, are playoff-bound.

KENNETH: Dancougar's last match with Gweridijongya is far from meaningless, but it may be a chance for some players to rest, or for Charles DuPont to tinker with the lineup and his formation. I, however, will not be reporting on that match, or maybe even the next one.

SCOTTY: Oh, right, your vacation.

KENNETH: I'm sure I'll come back to hear great things about Dancougar's run of form into the tournament.

SCOTTY: Or they'll just lose once you stop filing match reports. Big.

KENNETH: No, no, it'll be okay. I knew I'd be away, so I sent Margaret a gift basket.

SCOTTY: How'd you do that?

KENNETH: Well, okay, so I sent one to the Han. I hear she's apparently hanging out with this guy, Bob? It's got lots of fruits and cheeses, and, um, spring flowers. It's nice.

SCOTTY: Uh huh. What's your vacation for again?

KENNETH: Three-day weekend, my friend. Although I will certainly not be in a hotel dressed as a children's cartoon character. From Japan. From the 70s.

Dancougar Goal Scorers
Ikeda - 5
Jinguuji - 4
Morimoto - 3
Boskov, Leyton, Whittaker - 2
Furuya, Weatherford - 1

*******************************************

Crack, crack, snap, pop! Speed was of the essence, now, they could make as much noise as they wanted as they rushed through the woods. Russ and Peter had to get back to the main road before the van emerged from the winding forest path and onto the state road. Russ reached for his walkie talkie. "Tango, bravo, whoever the hell's left, suspects are heading for the main road from target C!" he gasped as he ran. "Agents down, cabin destroyed. In pursuit!"

Patterson put the walkie talkie back on his belt. He had heard the explosion and now could picture what had happened. Well, they couldn't have expected the entire operation to go perfectly. "Damn it... let's roll, people!"

There was a loud bang as metal hit metal. The van had collided with one of the cars blocking the road. Cries went up as the agents dove out of the way. The van aimed for a small opening between the forest and the car and somehow made it into the open road before their adversaries could get off any shots. Russ and Peter emerged just in time to see the van speed off. Looking around frantically, Russ spotted the other car. He and Peter jumped in and quickly started it up, speeding off after the van.

They had an advantage over the van in speed and after five minutes had it in sight. The road had left the forest and was now crawling up into the mountains, a dangerous mess of blind turns and steep ascents. One of the guys in the van poked out of the passenger side window and fired a few shots at their car. They ducked as the shots sailed wide. One caught a side-view mirror and shattered it on impact. Peter leaned out and tried to get a shot, but the wind was coming at them. It would be impossible.

An eighteen-wheeler hove into view. The van swerved into the opposite lane and got around it. Russ had no choice but to follow. The truck chugged up the hill and lazily started a left turn. Russ cut inside and gunned it. He had nearly completed the pass when another car appeared out of nowhere. He quickly swerved into the right lane and just slid in between both vehicles. Then he righted his course, just skimming against the guardrail. A nasty drop awaited them beyond it.

The chase continued. More gunshots from the van. One bounced off the hood and into the windshield, piercing straight through. Russ swerved a bit but righted himself quickly. Soon he was closing the gap again. Another eighteen-wheeler was ahead. The terrorists would again attempt to pass. Before they did, Peter leaned out the window to try his luck again. They'd come around the mountain, now, and had a cross-breeze instead of a headwind. He aimed to the side and fired. It took out a taillight. Having calibrated his aim, he now pointed the gun down and went for a tire.

Pssssssshew! The back left tire went out. The van bounced and began to break left just as a truck approached from the opposite direction. Forced to avoid it, he steered right. Too far right. The road began to curve left just then, and the van punched right through the guardrail. Russ and Peter could only watch as the van arched through the air before plummeting to the forest below, hitting the ground with a sickening crash.

..........

"Bastards told us everything," Patterson said. All of the teams had gathered back by the park's main entrance. Armored cars carted the captured terrorists away while some guy in a suit tried to explain the situation to the cabin renter. "You guys got stuck with the tough, ones, it sounds like."

"Yeah, thanks for that," Russ coughed, handing Patterson his gun back. "But at least we got 'em all."

"Yup, and thanks to that, the Southern Northland game is secured," Patterson said. "Although there's something I don't get... did Bauer just have you boys do all the work, or what?"

"I keep telling you, I don't know who that guy is!" Russ replied.

"Hey, Russ, lighten up," said Peter, who had a beautiful lady spy hanging around him. "Sometimes, you just need to roll with what you're given."

"Hey, since when did you...?!"

"Roll, Russ. Just roll."

"And so Kelssek has been dealt a crushing blow, one that only football fans will really suffer, yet, it shall affect the nation as a whole, much like a knock-on effect of our very public international failure, once again, to make it past the first stage of World Cup qualifying."

"...I'm impressed, Dave, but I should point out that Kelssek isn't technically eliminated yet, there's still a-."

"Let's leave technical stuff to the technicians, and tactical stuff to the tacticians. The lack of the latter clearly played its role tonight."

"Okay. But if-"

"SHUT UP! I've got three hundred smackers riding on a loss." Dave said out the side of his mouth.

Bazalonia on Cuff of Defeat.

With only one match remaining the Bazalopes are on the cuff of being left out of the World Cup all together. With the most recent Draw against the KaMaRi nation, which was until recently apart of Rejistania, saw the RaMaRi's secure their play-off spot while the only remaining challengers Kose and the Turkomen sit happily in 4th.

However, perhaps the doom is going a bit too far, a win or a draw would put the Bazalopes in a position with points or Goal Differential that would make it impossible for the Turkomen to do a leap frog into 3rd place. Especially since the Bazalopes are at home against Wijaska Islands on the last matchday, and our main rivals face the KaMaRi's at home.

As such things look positive for at least being in the play-offs where their opponent is uncertain.... but with the way they are playing, do the Bazalopes really deserve a spot in the World Cup Finals? We'll just have to wait and see.

THE ROCKET REPORT

UNDERDOGS FIGHT ON

Kelssek- With their beloved Underdog on their side, the Rockets won their second consecutive match this evening, beating Kelssek for the second time during qualifying, this time winning on the road in front of a capacity crowd. Newmanistan kept their 3rd place hopes alive, setting up an absolutely crucial game in matchday ten with Eighthgraderistan. They also sent the home crowd home very disappointed as the result officially eliminates Kelssek from being able to finish third. Due to the fact that Newmanistan and Eighthgraderistan finish out by playing each other head to head, one of the clubs is bound to have at least 13 points, while the best Kelssek can do now is 12 points.

First, the Rockets needed to take control of this match and they went on an all out attack to start the game, which was a lot different then the approach that Kelssek saw earlier when the two clubs played in Loudon. Here, Newmanistan needed three points to stay alive, and they needed to be able to play their game. They scored very quickly, as in the fourth minute, when John Murphy blasted the ball into the top left corner, being able to beat Pierre-Luc Dubois to the ball by about half a second off a nice pass from Jeremy McAllister. Kevin Lewis nearly added a second goal three minutes later as well, if not for a brilliant defensive play by Alexandre Tremblay, who was probably the best Kelssek player in this match. Keeping Newmanistan from scoring a second goal would be short lived, however, as McAllister would add a goal in the 21st minute in which he made goalkeeper Richard Davis look real silly. It’s a shot that we’re sure Davis will tell you that he will stop nine times out of ten.

From there, the game remained a two-nil for a very long time, through halftime and into the second half. Kelssek had some opportunities, but for the most part Newmanistan was doing a good job at the back end from keeping goalkeeper Kevin Dalton from truly being tested. The minutes wore down past 60 and then 70, with the home crowd really beginning to get antsy. In the 77th minute, substitute Shawn Drummond, held without a goal in qualifying, finally got his name on the score sheet working a nice give and go with McAllister. Kelssek caught the Rockets celebrating somewhat by snapping the clean sheet immediately, in the 78th minute on a Douglas Crawford goal. Though Kelssek would get no real momentum from that, it just served to remind the Rockets that there was still a little bit of time left to play. The game ends 3-1, in favor of the Rockets.

Up next, is basically a non-official playoff game against Eighthgraderistan at Putnam Lake, and Underdog will be there with the underdogs to try and lead them past the teenagers. More on that, and some very saddening news out of Starblaydia coming up in the near future.

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

MATCHDAY NINE: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg.

Qazox offically wrapped up a playoff berth, as Az-cz clinched the World Cup berth, leaving the Pheonix with little to play for in its next match, other than playoff placement and to eliminate Green wombat.

Kallie Jaus scored twice in the first half and Stevie Spingler added the third, after Abdoulaye Soro cut the lead to 2-1 in the 56th minute.

So with one match to go the Pheonix have only the Wombats left on the schedule, and either a win by Qazox or a draw will eliminate Green wombat.

QAZOX SCORING:
Kallie Jaus- 7 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 6
Renna Valladores- 5
Stevie Spingler- 2
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1


Here is a quick look at some qualifying senarios:

GROUP I
Casari and Daehanjeiguk have each clinched a playoff berth. Jariss has a 2 point lead for third.
Daehanjeiguk clinches Auto berth with a win or a draw and a Casari loss or draw or a Casari loss.
Casari clinches Auto berth with a win and either a Daehanjeiguk loss or draw. Jariss clinches playoff berth with a win or losses or draws by Engbec and Magnus Valerius.
Both Engbec and Magnus Valerius need a win, with the other team to lose or draw, and Jariss to lose to earn a playoff berth.

GROUP II
All three playoff spots have been clinched.
Quakmybush clinches group with win or Cafundeu loss or draw.
Cafundeu clinches group with win and Quakmybush loss.

GROUP III
All three playoff spots have been clinched.
Bettia clinches group with win or Candelaria And Marquez loss or draw. (or loss and a Candelaria And Marquez loss and a Lovisa win by less than 17 goals)
Candelaria And Marquez clinches group with win and Bettia loss.
Lovisa needs to win by 17 or more and have both Candelaria And Marquez and Bettia lose to clinch group.

GROUP IV
Sqournshelous has clinched AUTO BERTH.
The Pazhujeb Islands clinch playoff berth with a win or a draw and losses by both The Archregimancy and Kolanderaz or a loss and losses by both The Archregimancy and Kolanderaz.
Diojiu clinch playoff berth with a win or a draw and losses by both The Archregimancy and Kolanderaz or a loss and losses by both The Archregimancy and Kolanderaz.
The Archregimancy clinches playoff berth with a win and a loss by either Diojiu or The Pazhujeb Islands.
Kolanderaz can clinch playoff berth with a win by 3 or more goals and losses by The Archregimancy, Diojiu, and The Pazhujeb Islands.
There are other possibilties, but chances of them happening are very remote.

GROUP V
Valanora clinched AUTO BERTH
Bostopia clinched playoff berth.
Agroprom clinches playoff berth with win or draw or Solenial loss or draw.
Solenial clinches playoff berth with a win and an Agroprom loss.

GROUP VI
Tynelia clinched AUTO Berth.
KaMaRi clinched playoff berth.
Bazalonia clinches playoff berth with a win or a draw and either a Kose and the Turkomans loss or draw or a Kose and the Turkomans loss.
Kose and the Turkomans clinches playoff berth with a win and a Bazalonia loss.

GROUP VII
Zwangzug clinched AUTO berth
Yafalonia and Bazor 2 and Vephrall each clinched Playoff berths.

GROUP VIII
Jeruselem and D2R clinched playoff berths
Jeruselem clinches group with a win or a draw and a D2R draw or a D2R loss.
D2R clinches group with a win or draw and a Jeruselem loss.
Abaio clinches Playoff berth with a win or a draw and a Novapsolu loss, draw or win by exactly 1 goal, or a Novapsolu loss.
Novapsolu clinches playoff berth with a win and a Abaio loss or a win by 2 or more goals and a Abaio draw.


GROUP IX
Prux and Ad'ihan have each clinched playoff berths.
Prux can clinch AUTO berth with a win and either a Ad'ihan loss, draw or win by fewer than 4 goals, or a draw and a Ad'ihan draw.
Ad'ihan can clinch AUTO berth with a win and a Prux loss or a win by more than 4 goals and a Prux win or draw.
Wentland clinches playoff berth with a win, draw or Kiryu-shi loss or draw or if Kiryu-shi wins and Wentland loses by less than 5 goals. Can clinch AUTO berth with a win and either a Ad'ihan loss or draw.
Kiryu-shi can clinch playoff berth with a win by 5 or more goals and a Wentland loss.

GROUP X
Northern Bettia, Yafor 2 and taeshan have all clinched playoff berths.
Northern Bettia clinches AUTO berth with a win or losses or draws by Yafor 2 and taeshan.
Yafor 2 clinches AUTO berth with a win and losses or draws by Northern Bettia and taeshan.
taeshan clinches AUTO berth with a win and losses or draws by Northern Bettia and Yafor 2.
If all three finish level on points, Northern Bettia will earn AUTO berth based on GD.

GROUP XI
Milchama has clinched the AUTO berth
Kura-Pelland clinched playoff berth.
Eighthgraderstan clinches playoff berth with a win or losses or draws from Newmanistan and Kelssek.
Newmanistan clinches playoff berth with a win and an Eighthgraderistan loss.
Kelssek clinches playoff berth with a win and losses by Eighthgraderstan and Newmanistan or a Eighthgraderstan loss and a Newmanistan draw.

GROUP XII
Sel Appa has clinched AUTO berth.
The Holy Empire has clinched playoff berth.
Nire and Nire clinches playoff berth with a win or a draw or a The Daleks 2 loss or draw or win by less than 10 goals.
The Daleks 2 clinches playoff berth with a win by 10 or more goals and a Nire and Nire loss.

GROUP XIV
UCS Jasiyun and Demot have clinched playoff berths.
UCS Jasiyun clinches group with a win or draw and loss by Demot.
Demot clinches group with a win and a draw or loss by UCS Jasiyun.
Aleos clinches playoff berth with a win, a draw or a Hopeless SC loss or draw. Can also clinch if Hopeless SC wins by fewer than 3 goals and Aleos loses.
Hopeless SC can clinch playoff berth with a win by at least 2 goals and a Aleos loss.

(Please note that I did not factor in Naboombu Umbongo, as they currently have ceased to exist, and therefore will not qualify for either the WC or playoff)

GROUP XV
UCS Slani has clinched AUTO Berth.
Sorthern Northland and Jeru FC have clinched playoff berths.

GROUP XIII QUALIFYING SENARIOS
Az-cz: Clinched AUTO Berth.
Qazox: Clinched playoff berth.
Scotchpinistan: Needs a win or draw and Green wombat draw or loss or Green wombat loss to clinch playoff berth.
Green wombat: Needs a win and a Scotchpineistan loss and or a draw and a Scotchpineistan loss by 2 or more goals to clinch playoff berth.


SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia L 1-2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan W 2-1 QSPN2 (5-1-2)
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. W 3-1 QSPN2 (6-1-2) CLINCHED PLAYOFF BERTH
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) Kickoff time: 18:00 local (17:30 QST) QSPN

Green Wombat Daily Tattler

GREEN WOMBAT 1- Scotchpineistan 2

A tough disheartening loss sets up the relatively impossible, BEAT QAZOX or go home. Granted a draw could see the Wombats through, if Scotchpineistan loses by enough goals, but a win would put the pressure back on the Pineys to get into the playoff.


As of now here are the current Group Thirteen standings:

TEAM W-D-L Pts GF GA GD
Az-cz 9-1-0 25 26 9 +17**
Qazox 5-1-2 16 22 13 +9*
Scotchpinestan 4-1-4 13 13 16 -3
Green wombat 4-0-5 12 13 18 -5
Nethertopia 0-4-5 4 9 15 -6
Iansisle 1-1-7 4 9 21 -12

*- Clinched Playoff berth
**-Clinched Auto World Cup berth
The next match is home against Qazox, whom the wombats have never beat, but this will be the first time in almost 80 years that a match between the two will take place in Green wombat.

The Prawns caught a case of look-ahead-itis at the worst time dropping a match they should have dominated 1-4 to Ruskastan, as Michael Miguel Michaels scored the lone goal.

But not all is lost for the Prawns, as they still sit atop the Group 9 standings, and a either a win or a draw (the latter coupled with a Ad'ihan loss or draw) will clinch the Prawns a World Cup berth.

But the last meeting between these two team saw Wentland come away 2-0 winners in Prux, and Wentland is extremely tough to beat on the road. Either way the Prawns have done more than what was expected of them, and if they have to play in a playoff, then they have a chance.

Goals:
J7Y- 7
Heff Jardy- 6
James Nobel- 4
Matt Victor Paulsen- 2
Mikey James -1
Henry Marks-1
Triple M- 1

On "The Grill" with Margie Mohawk

Margie: Hello everyone, I'm Margie Mohawk. This is The Grill. We talk to Jeruselem most famous grandmother today. Make her feel welcome, Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas! Or just Dazza Dallas.

<Dazza Dallas appears>

Dazza: Hello Margie, good to be here. Hello viewers.
Margie: First thing, you don't look like a grandmother at all.
Dazza: No, that's what happens if you have kids early. When your kids have kids, you're a grandmother. It's not rocket science.
Margie: Yes, you are in good shape for your age. You don't seem to age quickly.

Dazza: Oh yes, if you say my mother - she was aged slowly too. It's good to have good genetics in the family. Although I've got her bad knees.
Margie: You're here to talk about sex scandals and football. I figured you're the expert about that.
Dazza: Yes, I love a scandal. Making your own is even better.
Margie: Now, do you think sex scandals in football is normal?

Dazza:
Well, in Jeruselem ... I guess we're lucky or unlucky in that respect. The sensation and shock isn't there like it is in some places because we're all used them here. I guess some countries prefer to keep the higher moral ground but we all know us humans aren't exactly designed to be perfect moral beings. Just read the Old Testament, pretty juicy stuff there.

Margie: But should it be normal?

Dazza:
No is probably the right moral answer and but, people forget football people are just like other people. They have their own issues and carnal desires.

Margie: You're a walking scandal, how do you cope?

Dazza:
For me, it's not an issue. I maybe the world's most famous whore apart from maybe Mary Magalene in the bible but it's all me there. I don't pretend to be some Holy person.

Margie: Right, you're wearing a tight top and short skirt. Shouldn't you be dressing more like a mature woman.
Dazza: Well, if I had saggy skin and droppy bits - yes. But God gave me a body which is lasting. No point hiding the truth.
Margie: Your girls seem to get themselves into scandal too.
Dazza: Yes, but they were born to be seen not hidden.

Margie: Your mother was different sort of person. In fact, your sister is a bit of an enigma too.
Dazza: They are lot of Ariddian than me in that way. Ariddians avoid the spotlight.
Margie: What should we do with these so called perverts?
Dazza: But are they perverts. My mother was a hooker and she had clients from all places. Call them perverts but maybe they are just sexually frustrated.

Margie: But in a world were people strive for moral right, isn't that behaviour bad?
Dazza: Moral right is rubbish. Every family has dirty secrets hidden from everyone. Scandals happen when truth cannot be hidden.
Margie: People point to Jeruselem as not how to conduct yourself sexually with people like you corrupting the girls of Jeruselem.

Dazza:
These moral people are narrow sighted. There's abandoned young women on the street selling their bodies to get food and shelter for the night. I have Women's Shelters in Jeruselem to save these girls but these do-gooders want to shut them down since they don't want see the reality of their society. Girls whore themselves on the streets because they need to eat not because want to be whores.

Margie: But aren't you a bad role model?

Dazza:
Why am I bad? I run a business, I work for Jeruselem government as Ambassador to Ariddia, I raised four good kids although one has criminal record. Kate knows she's done wrong. My kids still think of me as Mum. I put money into saving girls fallen on bad times to take them off the streets. I'm morally bad? I help more people than my critics. Sure I'm a slut, but I don't pretent I'm not either.

Margie: So what's your spin on sex scandals in football?
Dazza: It happens, football people are just people. If they like kinky, they'll pay or get a girl on the side. Just like everyone else.
Margie: Well, it's good talking to you.
Dazza: Thanks, I think all this moral outrage is just rubbish. People should clean up their own backyard first. You know, I'm Catholic. I go to a church every Sunday. I confess my sins. I ask God to help me sometimes. I know I've done bad things. I'm honest there. I might not go to heaven but God knows the score on the moral football field with me.

Margie: You know my husband used to think you were a dumb bitch who got lucky. Now he realises behind the naked body and looks, there's a brain who knows what it's doing.
Dazza: You need more than luck to get to where I am. My family worked hard to get where we are.
Margie: You've done well for a little who once lived on the streets.
Dazza: If I can make it, I'm sure everyone else can make their dreams happen too.

Margie: Viewers, stay! Pastor Jones is our next guest! Dazza is staying here to argue a few points with Pastor! Don't turn off the TV or change channel.

(The Rockets group together at Putnam Lake prior to a training session, to pump each other up, and then plan for a tribute to the late Simeone Di Bradini).

McAllister: (plays for Putnam Lake’s club team) Ok listen up! Your in MY HOUSE! Ain’t no teenage punks going to come into MY house and keep us from going to that playoff.

Lewis: Damn right!

McAllister: Get me Underdog! (Holds the dog) Like we did at Kelssek, everyone gather round, one hand to the dog. (Players oblige). When I was drafted by Putnam Lake this team stunk up the league. I know most of you play for other clubs but hear me out. Putnam Lake has always been the underdog but in the last few years we’ve turned the table and are a serious contender now. Same for us, we were all but written off even by our home press. But we persevered. We never gave up and now have a chance for that playoff. Like Putnam Lake we’ve paid our dues, come full circle and now its time to shine. Rockets on three.... one... two....

Team: ROCKETS!!!

Underdog: Bark!

Carson: Very nice guys, very nice. Love the passion, and I know Putnam Lake will be fired up for this match. We have Underdog. We have our home fans, and we should have some momentum going.

Chapman: It’s time to shine, boys.

Carson: Guys, I don’t want to be a downer but I have some sad news. Simeone Di Bradini passed away this morning.

(Team stares in shock)

Carson: I know we didn’t know him that long, but he was a great football player, and I know a lot of us will really be touched.

McAllister: I’m sorry.... we gotta do something.

Carson: We were the last club to ever win the trophy named after him while he was alive. And for us, it was our first major international competition as a nation. There’s kind of a bond there, maybe moreso for us then them, but we must do something.

Brooker: I remember when we met him not long ago, he seemed in good spirits but you could just kinda... I don’t know how to put it....

McAllister: Yeah man I know what you mean.

Borsinger: Let us all take a moment of silence and offer a prayer for Simeone, now watching us from up above. (Silence and prayers ensue)

Borsinger: To all our wishes, amen.

Team: Amen.

Carson: In tribute guys, instead of wearing our home jerseys for this game, we are going to wear our alternate black kits. I’ve notified Eighthgraderistan of that.

Brooker: Great idea coach.

Lewis: Let’s not let Simeone down. True we don’t know who’d he rather see win, but still, there is that connection between him and us. We need three points, lets go get the three points!

Chapman: Ya know, it’s not just the Di Bradini Cup, the last major tournament he ever had in his home country, the Baptism of Fire, again we were the last club he saw triumph.

McAllister: Let’s do it for Simeone. For Putnam Lake! For Newmanistan! And with Underdog!

Team: Go ROCKETS!!

Carson: Keep our spirits high, we have a little payback to dish out to Eighthgraderistan. Right here, right now!

(Club begins to change for a training session, but McAllister stays behind to talk to Carson)

McAllister: Coach?

Carson: Yes, Jeremy.

McAllister: In the brief time I knew Simeone Di Bradini he told me one thing, “Son you have a great future, stay true to the game and it will be with you forever.”

Carson: Very nice.

McAllister: I didn’t realize exactly what he meant then but I do now.

Carson: Go ahead, Jeremy.

McAllister: Just to respect the game, but not just the game but everything that goes along with it. Keep a level head about all of it, and it will be good to you. Just look at him and the amazing family history he has in their country.

Carson: Those are words from a wise man and I couldn’t agree more.

McAllister: Simeone’s gone but I will always remember his words, and I’m going to make a much better effort now to be a better person, maybe settle down and I mean that, settle down, and enjoy what I have and work to get better.

Carson: We all have that moment, Jeremy. You’re more then just a great football player, you’re a great person. I saw how you led the team just now as I was getting here. I could have gotten involved but I just looked and smiled. I’ve really seen you evolve as more then just a player, but as a person as well and if you are to settle in, then I believe that you can.

McAllister: Eighthgraderistan isn’t getting in my way. No way no how! We’re getting those three points!

Carson: That’s the spirit, lets go teach Eighthgraderistan the most difficult lesson, a lesson that they will never have in school.

“Agent Smith I am not happy with your performance to this point.” President Vonderman said somberly to the lone agent standing before him. “I had expected new ideas and radical tactics to take care of these cultists by discrediting them in the very thing that their entire belief system is based upon. Instead I find an undefeated team going into its final match against a low ranked team with the automatic qualification already clinched. Can you explain that Agent Smith?”

“Well Mr. President, apparently the team’s tactics were too complex for my leaked information to our opponents to decipher quickly enough. After all an offensive attacking Tynelian team is not something we have lots of familiarity with.” Smith tried to explain.

“So? Its not like no other team has an attacking style. Surely our new style is related to one of these others. I mean at least you could have forced the team into the playoffs where there would be a 50-50 chance of their failing to get in. That would have slowed things down. Instead we beat all the experts who had Bazalonia getting the auto spot and even those that had is not even qualifying. You know what has happened now Agent Smith?”

“No sir, I’ve been on the plane all morning to get here and haven’t been able to keep up with this morning’s news.”

“Well thanks to the team’s amazing run so far- which could end in our first ever undefeated qualification run mind you- those cultists have scheduled an open rally which no doubt will be filled with their attempts to brainwash the innocent looking for a free meal with their foolishness. And the Constitution forbids me from stepping in because they filled out all the proper paperwork in the proper way and no one had informed me until after the fact. Isn’t keeping up with the cult activities supposed to be why I hired you Agent Smith?”

“Well yes sir, but I was tied up with trying to sabotague the team without it coming back to you. Might I add that Specialist Anderson has been almost obstructing in his efforts when he should be assisting me.”

“How so?” the president demanded.

“I expect its because of his age he doesn’t understand the tactics I was employing which should have worked according to the simulations my people have run. Not to mention he seems to still have some old contacts outside my own that he has been unwilling to share intel gained by them with me until well after the time the information could be useful.”

“Are you referring to the fact that he knew about the team’s clinching the playoff spot before you did?” the president asked

“Exactly, had he notified me as is the proper chain of command ahead of time I could have created a secondary effort to thwart the team before it was too late. Instead he preferred to just sit back and gloat over the fact I wasn’t aware of it. Very unprofessional Mr. President.”

“The question I have to wonder Agent Smith, is why you WERE unaware of such an important piece of information. Are you trying to say a few backdoor channels were more efficient than your entire staff in digging out important information like this? Perhaps I was too hasty in relieving Specialist Anderson of his duties.”

“No sir. I’m your man. I’ll make certain that the team will not get out of the group stages like last time. The fallout from such a failure when Coach Andrews was specifically re-hired to get us past that point will certain result in his firing before the next cup and block the cultists ambitions that way. I shall have my staff working doublt shifts until we can find the weakness we need to make them fail.” Smith argued desperately.

“Very well then. This is your last chance Agent Smith. Make sure we don’t make it to the knockouts or you’re fired. Am I clear enough Agent Smith?”

“Yes Mr. president, perfectly clear.”

http://www.islandsdaily.co.ad/sport/blog/wc40q/not_one_to_be_underestimated#commentsanchor
Not one to be underestimated
Posted 6:14 pm, MD9 by Luke Evans

(Davey Thomson in Prux provided reporting from the Prux 4-1 loss to Ruskastan for this post.)

Second home match in a row played at 4 pm, second home win in a row. This time though it was a much closer contest than our 4-1 whipping of Kiryu-shi last time, with two second-half goals sealing the deal against the already-eliminated Hryvinia.

Peter Schilling scored his first goal of the campaign to get the first mark on the scoresheet with an impressive 35-yard curling shot on 61 minutes, and an own goal from a Hryvinian player from Francis Yang's deadly cross into the box sealed the deal, never mind the late consolation.

Ben Ropes did well on his return to the starting lineup from illness and it was good to see the lad back on top form after his shaky start to this campaign with that stomach bug.

We've got to play Ruskastan away next. They're not a team to be underestimated: they walloped Prux 4-1 away today. That's a big warning shot right there. The good news is that Prux has to travel to Wentland on this final matchday of qualifying proper, which means that a win for us combined with a draw or loss for Prux — or, indeed, if Prux win, a win for us with a margin of at least four goals more than what Prux wins by — will be enough to see us win our group with just 20 points from a possible 30.

Davey Thomson, away in Prux covering that 4-1 Ruskastan surprise, sent back a match report which noted Ruskastan's apparently revitalised attack, which scored 29% of its goals so far in that single 35-minute spell.

Like I said, not one to be underestimated. Especially considering we're playing away, we'll have to be on top form. And, as always, do leave your thoughts and comments, and I'll do my best to get back to you..

Permalink | Trackback | View comments for this post (0)

Drew's Clues: A Confluence of Interests

Stoneridge got its start as a steel town generations ago, and since the collapse of that industry, it's struggled to get back onto its feet. But the recovery here has made it one of the nation's leading cities once again, and now it is a gathering point for the wild and wonderful. This weekend, in an unassuming hotel in the city's outskirts, Stoneridge will be the host of "Tekkoshocon," an anime convention with a name that points back to its industrial roots.

Yet for many here, minds are occupied by more than giant robots and young women in sailor outfits. Football is also getting some attention with the World Cup playoffs just a few weeks away. Dancougar has already punched its ticket with a game remaining on its schedule, which fans hope will springboard it into a competitive playoff tie. Or group. Whatever the format happens to be.

"I think it'll be, like, groups of five or something," says high school student Kenji Manabe. He's dressed in an orange jumpsuit, and for the past few minutes he has been running around with a group of people shouting 'rasengan.' For some reason, they don't seem to mind.

The playoff format remains a mystery, as thirty teams will compete for the final fifteen qualifying spots. Many analysts found it curious that the top two teams from each group didn't just advance directly, and others think the playoff will be as simple as a randomly-paired home-and-away tie between second- and third-place teams. As a result, most do not like Dancougar's chances.

"If I had to guess the format, it would be a two verse three set," says Tina Richardson, who tells me that her character is a schoolgirl with alchemic combat powers. She appears to have four metallic blades protruding from her school uniform skirt. Tina is among the growing legion of women football fans, but the women's game itself has yet to take off - none have cracked starting rosters at Dancougar's major colleges. "That means we'd have to play one of the better teams, right? I don't know if we can get lucky again like we did against Caf."

It's an odd mix of fandom. In between roundtable discussions about the meaning of something called Evangelion and endless rounds of karaoke, people gather to talk football. From here, you can really see how it has attracted a following from all walks of life. Men and women, old and young, otaku and not - all can find common ground in the free kicks of Morimoto and Whittaker, and in the twin-headed attack of Ikeda and Jinguuji. I've heard several people say they plan to skip several of Sunday's panels in order to see Dancougar take on Gweridijongya.

But Kenneth Prime is not among them. The Sportscenter anchor, dressed as a cadet from the series Space Battleship Yamato, says he's going to enjoy the weekend away from sports. But he graciously steps out of a video room showing anime music videos to offer a few passing thoughts: "The Wings have been able to generate offense, which gives them a chance in any game. And they only really had one bad one, against Cafundeu. My concern is that the defense is still a bit shaky and their play can get bogged down in midfield. They run out of patience as games wear on if they're down and start taking bad shots. If they don't draw level by the hour mark, it's usually the end."

Drew Papes is a columnist for the Stoneridge Post, and is a frequent guest on DSPN's Around the Horn.

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%201.PNG

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Tertius Shajarrayam

Islanders Toss Away Another Lead, Precarious Situation In Group 4

After Vuharana Quridheru's sensational 9th minute breakway resulted in a goal, it looked as though things would go well for the Pazhujeb Islands against the small nation of Kolanderaz. Unfortunately, the home side were not to be underestimated, and they responded quickly and decisively, dousing the hopes that the Purple Turbans had had for clinching a playoff spot.

But after allowing three goals, things are looking bad for the Pazhujebi national football team. They are still in second place thanks to the Archregimancy's unexpected loss to the evil vampires of Diojiu (perhaps one of their own has also been converted into a vampire, if this is the case, we at Eenadu send our condolences), but a poor result against Squornshelous on Matchday 10 could result in the Urchins missing a playoff spot entirely.

Part of the problem was simply that Kolanderaz controlled possession extremely well. With a 65 to 35 possession ratio, the home side were easily able to mount more attacks than the visitors, and though the back line and in particular goalkeeper Vekaj Amutarrad played extremely well (showing why he is one of the most valuable players on his Cafundeu domestic side Petrol), the onslaught was simply too much.

Speaking publicly for the first time since star striker Chaya Vuhumkara publicly criticized him in this very newspaper, national team manager Jaime Oberlander commented on the match:

"There's simply no doubt: we played one of the worst matches that we have so far in qualifying. We've lost games, quite a few, actually, I've looked... but those losses can be attributed to silly little mistakes that one guy made, or even in some cases to just plain poor refereeing. But today we just got completely outplayed. Steamrolled. There's not much you can do when a home side has the confidence to run all over you like that. We're lucky that things didn't turn out worse."

The Islands will be at full strength for the final match of the qualifying group stage, as no men are suspended, and Herodotusam Guvidhipa's treatment for vampirism has reportedly been going well, and so he will at least appear on the bench for the national team. However, the game is against Squornshelous, fifth-ranked team on the planet. Fans in Zhevassi will be very, very nervous to see if their men can pull off an upset and snatch the second spot in Group 4 and be a seeded team in the playoffs. However, if they cannot, things may look dire indeed for the Pazhujeb Islands.

We asked a devout fan outside Zhevvasi Athletic Field, who had just finished celebrating ubnejajat-em (a traditional Pazhujebi sunset ritual) with his family, what he thought of the situation:

"I'll be there. I'll be at the match; I've got tickets. And you'd better believe I'll be wearing my best purple turban in support. But I'm worried. More than that, really... I'm skeptical. I don't think we'll make it. I would love to see us earn a draw, maybe even for us to get a few nice goals, you know, one of Parokshara's bombs or Ghur's slick curls or one of Vuhumkara's sick jukes... something... but it doesn't look good. It really doesn't. Most of my friends agree with me. But we'll be there. We will be there."

So, incidentally, will Eenadu. Keep reading as we continue our coverage of the Pazhujeb Islands national football team during their attempt to qualify for the 40th World Cup.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/kolanderaz.png Kolanderaz 3
(No team released, however, the side made three substitutions in the 49th, 67th, and 74th minutes and received two yellow cards.)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png Pazhujeb Islands 1
Amutarrad; Tushambanda, Lissama, Idarha, and Rha; Parokshara, Abadhyash, Quridheru (Qaltaban 55'), and Ghur (Qiva 72'); Panithaj and Vuhumkara

Referee: Derena Guduïna (Jasī'yūn)

Goalscorers-
KLZ: Anonymous Player A 18', Anonymous Player B 27', Anonymous Player C 82'
TPI: Quridheru 9'

Matchday 1: Beer Served Here - Pazhujeb Islands (1-3 W)
Matchday 2: Pazhujeb Islands - The Archregimancy (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 3: Diojiu - Pazhujeb Islands (2-0 L)
Matchday 4: Pazhujeb Islands - Kolanderaz (@ K'arasiam Sarvatobhav in Pkethat Hevnaje) (3-2 W)
Matchday 5: Squornshelous - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Vogsphere Arena in Vogsphere) (3-2 L)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Holy Empire (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 6: Pazhujeb Islands - Beer Served Here (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (4-0 W)
Matchday 7: The Archregimancy - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Peaceful Woodland Glade in the Dreamed Realm) (3-1 L)
Matchday 8: Pazhujeb Islands - Diojiu (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (2-0 W)
Matchday 9: Kolanderaz - Pazhujeb Islands (3-1 L)
Matchday 10: Pazhujeb Islands - Squornshelous (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)
Post-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Starblaydia (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%202.PNG

http://www.KTTFFNews.ko.tm
What Is wrong?
The team have now lost out in their last 2 competitive match up's the time has come to ask who is to blame? with nearly every member of the team protestıng theır inocence, well we'll start at the back some off the most lackluster defending we have witnessed as a nation, we cannot blame one player for an entire teams missery but we can say that the lack of power and strengh being shown by Lefter Alp ıs leavıng a lot to be dissered. The midield is failing to track back after a failed attack leaving the defence lacking in numbers. The lone attacker has performed well and grabbed the solitary goal against Tynelia.

Must wın.
While hope may be wearing thin and with their fate no longer in their hands it has come down to the final game to decide who will go through to the play offs us, or Bazalonia who we beat 1-0 and they don't deserve any success after slumping so low and yet our justice will likely not be served the way we want and alas all we are doing is playing for pride.

Have Your Say:
Sinanowns12: Comon! we can still do this just have faith

Şahın: We all knew it was going to be tough but now we can still be proud !

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

E DÁ-LHE DÁ-LHE CAFUNDÉU, RUMO À VAGA AUTOMÁTICA!

The third of the games that were considered “easy” by the Cafundelenses was the one against Gweridijongya, which happened today. And, in fact, the Monopolists didn’t have difficulties to beat this enemy too, easily scoring three goals. But it wasn’t a magnificent performance made by the Cafundéu NT, surely not. The team didn’t push hard the opponent, and because of that created fewer chances than in the previous games. Not something too bad, as, in the end, the team could take advantage of the chances and won the game. The opponents had an average performance, and had some good attacks too.

But the fact is that Cafundéu was simply the best team in that game. In the first minutes, the below average performance of the Monopolists ended in three consecutive attacks from Gweridijongya, one hitting the post. Cafundéu had to reply fast, but the players made many mistakes. The goal only happened after the middle of the half, when Marcelinho shot from outside the area and scored. In the second half, Saulo scored just after the kick off, dribbling one player and scoring a nice goal. But less than five minutes after this fast goal, the opponents scored due to a mistake by Marcelo Rocha.

Cafundéu was still winning the game, but more advantage was needed. The coach Meback released the defensive midfielders to attack more, and the team seemed even more offensive that it usually is. And, after few minutes of pressure, the offensive strategy worked. Marcelinho took a corner kick. Silveira headed poorly, the defender tried to clear the ball but shot it at Alex’s leg, who took the ball and shot to score the goal that decided the game. With this important victory, Cafundéu only needs to defeat Quakmybush to qualify.

BRENO GAVIÃO TALKS: “The team didn’t have an excellent game today, of courrrrrse, but the victorrrrry came and that is enough. Now, we face Quakmybush. We can win this game... and we must. Playoffs arrrrre rrrrrisky, and an automatic qualification is not so far, so we must fight for this victorrrrrry... and for those that have hearrrrrt prrrrroblems, buy Carrrrrrdio Medicine, the best for those with carrrrrrdiac prrrrrroblems! Please Cafundéu, give us this victory! I must have the rrrrrright to shout GOOOOOOOOOOAL for Cafundéu in the next game!”

THE COACH TALKS: “So, we are reaching the final game of the World Cup qualifiers. Until now, the team has been playing well... of course, the losses in the games against Dancougar and Quakmybush weren’t expected, but at least we didn’t drop points in the games against the worst-ranked teams. I know that we should have won at least one of these two games that ended in a loss, but now we must forget this and get focused on the last game. A win, and we are qualified. Do we need more motivation? Of course not. Also, I’d like to announce that Sanseong, from Daehanjeiguk, really sponsors our second away kit. It was a deal made by the CCFM after they host the Cup of Harmony with them. For me, this doesn’t matter. Also, I heard that the Pope Linus V wants to arrange a meeting with Dazza Dallas, but I’m not sure if this is real or just a false rumour. Well... I don’t think that the Pope would really like to talk with her.”

CAFUNDÉU 3x1 GWERIDIJONGYA

Place: Toca do Tatu, in Central City.
Attendance: 70,803 people.
Referee: Jorge Botaniates (The Holy Empire).
MOTM: Alex (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva (Jorginho 70’), Marcelinho (Carlos Magno 70’) and Moreira (Lionel 76’); Flecha and Saulo.
Coach: Caio Meback.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/gweridijongya.png GWERIDIJONGYA: no team released.

Goals:CAF: Marcelinho 34’ , Saulo 46’ , Alex 64’.
GWE: a person 50’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Quakmybush: Moisés; Vital, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Jorginho, Marcelinho and Moreira; Flecha and Saulo.
Coach: Caio Meback.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Ian Hall (Valanora).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

10- Flecha
5- Saulo
4- Moreira, Marcelinho
2- Silveira, Da Silva, Augusto César, Alex
1- Rubiano, Carlos Magno, Careca

Zwangzug is hardly what can be truthfully called a libertarian society. Neither, however, is it a place where anything that can be encoded into a bureaucracy will. Close. But not quite.

Rather, it is a place where anything that the government believes should affect the entire populace has been encoded into a bureaucracy. Notably absent, therefore, are widespread social norms. Aristocracy? Tact? Restraining from picking one's nose in public? Bassabook, maybe. The last, at least.

With this in mind, the broadcast comes in from Pantocratoria...

"...which seems like what would happen if the Holy Empire came to ordinary reality speaking Septentrionian."

"Some disturbing mental images there, but the Peacocks take the field."

"Led by captain de Verdeflotte-sous-Montmanuel, le Vicomte de Verdeflotte-sous-Montmanuel."

"Even now, that's still odd for you to be saying his whole name. Or faking your way through."

"Oh, I have an ulterior motive, don't you worry."

"I suspected as much. What is it?"

"I'm...not going to tell you, you'll use it against me."

"Fair enough. All right, God Save the Emperor, Hailee Barnes' oboe solo, and the game's on..."

"...de Verdeflotte-sous-Montmanuel, le Vicomte de Verdeflotte-sous-Montmanuel, who could very well be from the duchy of Montmanuel."

"Really now?"

"Yes, that's where Pantocratoria's biggest football following is."

"Fascinating. Anyhow, Faustino back in control, up to Barnes, Barnes pushing forward. Vanderpent shoots, and Fountaine can't make the play! Zwangzug leads one-nothing..."

"...a mind-numbing system of referring to people considered superior just because their ancestors were, I'm not sure how they avoid a recursion paradox at some point, but fortunately no nobles that we have to worry about addressing, unless "Vicomte" means-"

"And it looks like Maini has passed up du Retz, dribbles carefully and makes it 2-0..."

"...Halftime here in Pantocratoria. Over in Vephrall, Yafalonia and Bazor 2 are playing. Zwangzug and the FAIL team have already clinched playoff spots, but the right combination of results here could lock up the group title today. Vephrall, meanwhile, hopes to continue their impressive rally-"

"-and before we dip too deeply into the permutations here's, um, a Peacock Motors advertisement? How about something relevant, here we go...Peacock Computers?..."

"...Bupont roving around the field, I think that's what the elementary schoolers call a "sweeper". Everyone wants to just go after the ball, Natasha Keller would be proud."

"Bupont passes to Colbert, loses it to Ruck, taps forward to Stings, who shoots-and Zwangzug now up three-nothing..."

"...and that'll be full time."

"Yes, Zwangzug has clinched the Group Seven title." click

"What was that?"

"Me turning off the microphone. We're not on air, so can you tell me now why you keep going through that one guy's name?"

"...Well...I figured it was pretty long."

"You got that right."

"So the longer time I spent going through it, the less time I had to worry about anything else."

"I should have known."

“A lamb?!”

Not one of the classic lines in all literature, but it’ll do.

“Yes, Mrs Green. A lamb.”

“Well… What’s it doing?!”

“Gambolling.”

“Gambling?!”

“No, not… Although, that would’ve been an excellent bit of satire on the long-term foolishness of the north-east’s primary industry. Are any of you coming, or what?”

Angela, Oliver and Tom made their way upstairs and into the boy’s room, where Sukie was holding a mildly amused-looking young sheep.

“Me-e-e-e-e-h-h-h.”

“Yup, that’s a lamb alright,” Tom confirmed.

“Ollie… Why do you have a sheep in your room?” Angela Green whispered.

“It was Will’s,” Oliver admitted sadly. “He told me to look after it. It was just about the last thing he said to me…”

His mother squeezed his shoulder, and gave Tom and Sukie an apologetic look. “My boy… He was on the drugs, y’see? They make you behave in odd ways, but I honestly thought he was getting better… He seemed so bright and lively and talkative and… pleasant. Well, until…”

“Until he fell down the stairs?” Sukie asked quietly. Now it was Angela’s turn to stare at her feet. “Mrs Green…? How did William acquire his injuries?”

“I… I don’t know, Miss Smith –”

“Ms Rohaert.”

“Sorry, M… Um, anyway, he didn’t fall from anywhere, or onto anything. That’s just what the police decided must’ve happened. And I don’t know how he came by them, but… I don’t think he was the only one.”

“You mean Ella Karlsson? I heard about her case on the news.”

“Yes… Oh, such a pretty girl she was, it’s such a shame…”

“Yes, it certainly make it that much more of a tragedy that she was attractive,” Sukie scowled. “But thank you, Mrs Green. You’ve been most helpful.” She turned to Tom and delivered unto him a rather recalcitrant lamb. “Take this and follow me.”

“But…” Angela began as man, woman and lamb hurried out of Oliver’s violently lilac bedroom and down the stairs. “I don’t know who you are, I…”

“You’d probably believe me if I told you,” Sukie confirmed, motioning for Tom to flee the scene. The trio careered down the stairs and out into the little clown car. Sukie slammed the door and began to drive as Tom readjusted the seating arrangement of the lamb in his lap and helpfully turned on the radio so that I can say who scored and that without having to write out a full report.

“…ovo scored late to give the Big Blues a hard-fought victory in the East Antairees. The home side’s captain James Dent had opened the scoring, but C&M were in front before the first half-hour was out, after Adlai Dobson had squeezed home Fred Ma’s saved shot, and the Gwangdong man himself had looped a header past Anthony Todd from William Burgos’ corner.

“But the standard of C&M’s performance was a far cry from that of the five-nil win earlier in qualifying, and the East Antairees found a deserved equaliser on the sixtieth minute with Dent again bundling in from close range. At times the Big Blues’ backs were really against the wall, and no more so as after Ben Head was clattered by Reg Locke. The damage taken to Head’s knee cap looks severe, and he has been ruled out for the final group game against Septentrionia.

“Thankfully, C&M are well represented in that part of the park, and the presence of Connor Mengucci steadied the ship. The América man helped set up Novo’s winner, but with Bettia’s six-one victory against the Illegal Immigrants it may all avail to naught. The aim now in that final game must be to assure second place in the group and a less daunting selection of play-off opponents, bu–”

“I shouldn’t just have to be listening to this on the radio,” Tom muttered testily. “That’s four first-teamers out with injuries, now! And me! It’s getting ridiculous… Also, I really don’t understand how so many games have gone by over the last few hours…”

“Meh. Time dilation,” Sukie explained airily. “There’s sandwiches in the plastic box under your feet,” she added, changing the subject. Such a solid bit of lamb-holding obviously deserved a reward.

“I’m not hungry…”

“Me-e-e-e-e-h-h-h.”

“It’s alright, there’s no sheep-based products in them. You can happily nosh away in front of Chop, there.”

“It’s not that, I’m just not hungry…We’re not calling him Chop.”

“We’re not calling him anything, Tom. Keep your mind on the job,” she muttered as they pulled up at a red light.

“Which is, exactly?”

“Oh, keep up, Tom! We’ve got to visit this Ella girl’s family home, see if there’s…a…link…”

Sukie trailed off. A woman had come running out of a house opposite, showing clear signs of being in some distress such as jumping up and down and wailing. The pathologist sighed, pulled the car onto the curb, and quickly got out.

“You too, Tom. You might be needed.”

“I can’t just leave Chop!”

“We’re not calling… Alright, bring the bloody lamb, but hurry up! Excuse me, ma’am?” she continued, running down the pavement to meet the sobbing woman, who grabbed her by the hand and dragged her into the house.

“Here!” she exclaimed, dragging Sukie to the bottom of the stairs where a young man lay sprawled out in a anatomically regrettable position, accompanied by a rather large quantity of blood. Tom, who had run in behind them, heroically managed to keep down his lunch, though he was suddenly aware of how little he’d eaten recently. Sukie bent over the boy and performed a few esoteric manoeuvres, before poking him a bit with her shoe.

“Is he…?” the woman whispered, voice shaking.

“He’s dead, Mrs…?”

“Lundström. Oh god, Jamie… Oh god… Is there nothing…?”

“I’m sorry. He’s lost too much blood and…” And there’s the whole bits-of-brain-and-stuff-being-scattered-across-the-floor thing too, Sukie opted not to add.

“I know… Oh god… I wasn’t even here, I didn’t notice… I thought he was just getting on with his homework for once, he’s been doing so well, I didn’t…”

Jamie’s mother broke out in hysterics again and attempted to bury her head in Tom’s chest.

“Me-e-e-e-e-h-h-h.”

“Oh, sorry… I almost squashed your lamb, there…”

“That’s quite alright Mrs Lundström. D’you need, um, smelling salts or something?” (C&M manifested its backwardness in more ways than just clandestine speciesism.)

“Mrs Lundström, that’s the ambulance coming down the street, d’you think you’d better..?”

“Yes, no, you’re quite right, my dear…”

Sukie grabbed Tom’s arm as the woman wandered in a dazed fashion out the front door. “I’m going upstairs,” she hissed at the footballer. “I’m going to find out what’s going on if it kills me. You don’t suffer those kind of injuries just from falling down the stairs…”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Wait here for the ambulance men.”

“Me-e-e-e-e-h-h-h.”

“Holding a lamb?”

“No… Ugh, alright, come up with me… Quickly!”

Man, woman and lamb hurried up the stairs, along the landing and opened the most suitable-looking room. The humans’ eyes bulged. Tom had been brought up in the liberal, secular heart of Clotaire, one of the most liberal, secular cities in the country. The closest thing to Christian fanaticism he’d ever come across before was the ‘Jesus is my Sunshine’ fridge magnet that a childhood friend’s mother had used to pin up the week’s embryonic shopping list. Oh, the Redways had had a bible up on the shelf; but they’d also had the Oxford Shorter in two volumes and Roget’s and the Ariddian Standard World Encyclopaedia, and the complete works of Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde and Reuben Merchant. It was just what you did.

Sukie, who until recently had spent most of her adult life concerned singularly with dead people, had a pretty live-and-let-live attitude to religion. Childhood indoctrination was clearly a Very Bad Thing, she thought, up there with naming your offspring Tuppence.* But this was just too much. If young Jamie could have had signed disciples’ shirts and a crucifixion bedspread he clearly would have. There were Christian mousemats. There were Christian beanie hats. There was a Settlers of Canaan boardgame sitting on the table, though a quick rummage revealed that it was missing the plague marker.

“Weird…” Tom muttered.

“Me-e-e-e-e-h-h-h.”

“You said it, Chop. Ooh, hang on a tick…” Sukie interrupted. She squeezed past Tom and over to a bookshelf, and removed one of the several dozen bibles dotted about the toom. “St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, Pozdnyakov Road, Clotaire… That ring any bells to you?”

“No… But I can’t say I know all the churches in the city intimately. Although Pozdnyakov Road’s right on the other side of town.”

“Me-e-e-e-e-h-h-h.”

“It’s the same one William Green had beside his bed… The same church.” She flicked through, stopping wherever there was a bookmark, or a highlighted passage leapt out at her. “Something about concubines… Gosh, Zattu had a lot of children… I sought Jehovah, and he answered me, And delivered me from all my fears… Well, that one really worked out for the poor sod…”

“Is this going anywhere? I think the lamb needs the bathroom.”

Sukie shrugged and slipped the bible back onto the shelf. “What links Ezra 2:8, Ezekiel 6:4 or Revelations 12:3 I wonder…”

“Don’t know, don’t care. Seriously, I think the lamb…”

“Me-e-e-e-e-h-h-h!”

“Alright, alright. I reckon we’d best pay this place a visit, don’t you? I’m buggered if it’s just a coincidence…”

And so; man, woman and lamb hurried down the stairs, past Mrs Lundström and a few baffled ambulance men, squeezed back into the car and set off for Pozdnyakov Road.

“Me-e-e-e-e…e….e…aaahhh….”
__________________

*Sukie had real issues with unusual names. Personally I’m a fan, and will merrily force all sorts of awfulness on my poor progeny many years down the line, though in the case of Tuppence I have to agree with her. There was one in the Times births column the other week. Tuppence Harmony. Kid should be taken into care, as far as I’m concerned.

The Democratic Autocrat Online>Forum
RE:RE:RE: Fighting the System
posted by Lim Sangjin on 8-1-9-G, 13:22

I agree with you Lorenzo very certainly, the supposed liberation of the Han individual in the developing markets is merely that; and the authoritarians will begin to re-exert their control over the people. As the Empire opens up to the world, so we will be forced to accede to taxation and the other instruments of the false freedoms presented by the “Emperor”.

The State – be he a man or a many men – must be eliminated! Yes, it must start with the black weon; but should we take our insurrection to a new level, Lorenzo? What I am asking is, has the time come for us to take up arms against democracy and dictatorship alike? Is our non-involvement with the state enough or must we embrace the power of explosion in order to bring about the revolution of our freedom and unleash our individuals?

This is the problem I wrestle with Lorenzo, and I look forward to our next meet in Namgyeong next month where we can discuss them. I shall bring the spicy pig’s feet you love so much!

다량 사랑
The Democratic Autocrat of the DPIR of Sangjin xx

---

RE:RE:RE:RE: Fighting the System
posted by Lorenzo on 8-1-9-G, 15:29

Yes, Sangjin, we must fight and fight to win, but we can’t usurp the false governments of either of our countries until we’re sure another will not rise in its place! We have to bide our time, Sangjin, and take the fight to our oppressors in other ways.

Lorenzo paused thoughtfully. Advocating armed rebellion probably wasn’t a great idea.

Have you considered dangerous bumper stickers for your bicycle? That would really sock it to that man! Or God, in your case. And, of course, the only free market is the black market. The Empire, I’m afraid, still has so far to go on this account. At any rate, I too look forward to meeting you all so very much in Namgyeong!

Lorezo pondered a bit further, before adding a few references to medieval Iceland. He wasn’t sure what that was all about, but it always seemed to go down quite well.

Lorenzo De Wilde wasn’t a learned man, having spent far too long concentrating on his football career and social life for anything else, but he wasn’t stupid. More to the point, he’d been brought up in Khatib-Gassett; a sprawling, industrial mess of a city which bubbled with Marxist-Leninist-Trotskyist-Collectivist-Christian-Humanist- Insurrectionist-Pacifist-Communist-Libertarian-Socialist-Athiest-Revolutionary-Utopian-Green- Anarchist-Feminist-Hyphenless-Leftist thought. He’d never had much interest in the whole complicated business, until he’d arrived in the Han Empire seeking his fortune.

He’d quickly discovered that the whole thing about oriental chicks being obsessed with landing a western male didn’t really stack up, at least not in Cheonjin. Especially not when you were a scrawny, duck-faced little so-and-so with an unshakable penchant for odd hair. But then, after several years of unsuccessfully attempting to live out his fantasies of the playboy footballer overseas, he’d been struck by genius. This was the new internet dating, he’d discovered. The perfect way to meet feisty young Asian girls who were more than willing to find new and bendy ways of experiencing their newfound individualism and mental revolution.

And so he’d created the Democratic Autocrat, the Empire’s sort-of-premier webring devoted to civil disobedience, bringing down all forms of organised authority, furthering the truth that every man really is an island, and promoting anarcho-individualism on a national scale. Now, thousands of Han men and women (though principally women, Lorenzo’s automated e-mail forum account activation thing being curiously unreliable at activating the accounts of anyone male or over the age of thirty) were part of his group; devoted to freeing their egoism while all gloriously at his beck and call. Sangjin especially. Her spicy pig feet paled into comparison compare w–

His reverie was interrupted by Lloyd Donnelly, who stormed into Lorenzo’s hotel room in Aleresia, New Kingston Island, the East Antairess, with a face of thunder. He shoved a still warm email into Lorenzo’s hands without comment.

“You can’t be fucking serious…” he muttered, after reading it through twice.

“Oh, I can. And so can the government of your employers. This ends today, Lorenzo.”

“Gaffer… Seriously, chillax dude. We won today, y’should turn that frown upside down! Honestly, what’re they actually gonna do, really? The guys at Cheonjin will step in an–”

“Save you from being EXECUTED, as per option three? These guys have headed notepaper, Lorenzo! They spelt ‘And’ with a capital A! They’ve done their homework and they mean business! Now let me make this very clear, Lorenzo. Twelve months from now, and I’d merrily turn up to your hanging! But RIGHT NOW, let me assure you that I’ve got rather more things to worry about that this! Half my squad are suffering one sort of broken limb or another, and if we don’t win this next game against this bunch of frogs and yer towelheads don’t loose by god knows how much to that bunch of polacks we’re going into the FREAKIN’ PLAY-OFFS, and by bugger it’ll be against those damn frollies, or the monks from a… from a… or against those fucking weird monks! AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS ONE OF MY DEFENDERS ON DEATH ROW FOR PROMOTING BLOODY ANARCHISM SO YOU CAN SCREW A BUNCH OF SLITTY-EYED WHORES! Wake up and smell the coffee, Lorenzo, or I’ll BLOODY KILL YOU MYSELF!”

“Right… Yeah, you make some good points…”

“I expect this issue to be over with by the morning, Lorenzo. I won’t be disappointed.”

Lorenzo nodded and turned back to the screen and Donnelly stormed out.

Dear Count Jeong Mongjun, he began.

I am very sorry for attempting to encourage the overthrow of your government by circumlocutory means or otherwise. It was a very silly thing to do and I will not do it again. I wi

But then he stopped. Yes, it’d been fun while it at lasted, and maybe it really was the time to give up the ghost. But… His girls out there, they were his followers… Sure, they were all free individuals now, that was kinda the point, but they still needed him.

He maximised the Word document again and finished the letter to the Imperial government. And then he started to plan his next move.

OBITUARIES

SIMEONE DI BRADINI, 1974-2093

The world of football was in mourning last night after it was announced that legendary footballer Simeone Di Bradini had died in hospital after a fall at his home. He was 119. Regarded as arguably the greatest footballer of all time, and President of the World Cup Committee for over a decade, Di Bradini leave behind a colossal legacy in the world of football.

Born in the Jhanna suburb of Iskara, Di Bradini rose to prominence as a teenager, spearheading the attack of the first great Iskara Daii side and helping them to glory. He also earned the first of his eighty-four senior international caps around this time.

His global career really took off, though, when he scored the goal that put Starblaydia through to the finals of the seventeenth World Cup, held in Kaze Progressa and Vilita. The national star became a global sensation, and the lure of the lucre became too much for the Daii to resist. Di Bradini was sold to Alan City of The Belmores for a fee of €K48m. Surrounded by the stars of the time, “SDB” shined brightest of all as City kept up their dominance of the Belmoron Premier, wearing team owner Alan Belmore’s famed number nine jersey.

As the sun set on a brilliant playing career, Di Bradini moved to the relative peace and tranquillity of the Vilitan V-League with Kiirana City. He continued to play for Kiirana until the age of forty-two, whilst also managing the side. His managerial career continued at international level, managing both the Starblaydia “B” team and the national Under-21 side, laying the foundations for the “Golden Generation” of Starblaydi football that went on to win the twenty-fifth World Cup.

Di Bradini’s managerial career ended, however, with his election to the office of WCC President, a post he held for twelve years. His later life was spent as an ambassador for Starblaydi football, and youth football in particular, with the resurrected Under-21 World Cup being renamed in his honour. His last role was as ambassador for the forthcoming World Cup.

Di Bradini leaves behind a large extended family, who will be attending a private funeral in his memory.


JONATHAN DEREA, 2015-2093

Krytenia lost one of its great political firebrands last night as former Internal Minister and long-time Deputy Chairman, Jonathan Derea, succumbed to ill health in his sleep last night at the age of 78. Derea had been diagnosed with kidney failure in 2089, and had been regularly attending dialysis sessions to stabilise his condition.

Born in Stanton, Derea took interest in politics early, joining the Krytenia National Party during his last year at school, and took a degree in politics at Bradwell University. He was elected Governor of Abbia Mersa at the age of just twenty-four, when then-chairman Samuel Warzycha Made him Deputy Minister for Internal Affairs. He would take over from his predecessor, Harold Verchuk, less than eighteen months later.

As Internal Minister, Derea gained noteriety for his pushing of the Immigration and Employment Act, which sought to reduce the numbers of asylum seekers entering the nation's borders. One of his main political opponents was Deputy Chairman, Andrew Hessenthaler; the many heated discussions led to a mutual respect for each other, and after the death of Warzycha, and the appointment of Hessenthaler as Chairman, the surprise decision of the new leader to appoint his fierce rival as his right-hand man raised the eyebrows of many in Party and press alike.

Hessenthaler, of course, had a trick up his sleeve. With Derea as the seemingly natural successor, Hessenthaler decided that the power of the top man in Krytenia should be somewhat reined in; thus came the infamous "People's Will", enacted after the Chairman's tragic death aboard the Starblaydi vessel Orca.

Derea found himself thrust into an election, and a fierce battle with Miss Dominique Domasca, Governess of the Northern Territory and head of the newly formed Nationalist Democratic Party. After fierce debates, and two rounds of voting, Domasca and the NDP won through. Derea resigned as KNP leader soon afterwards, and declined to run for re-election as Governor of Abbia Mersa at the following gubernatorial elections.

Derea's later years saw him installed as a fellow and political lecturer at "BradU", and tours of the after-dinner circuit. He leaves a widow, Maxine, four children, and numerous grandchildren. His body is currently lying in state in readiness for his funeral on Sunday.

Matchday 10, much like the waking moments of Starblaydia's legendary number 10, can no longer count for RP. Find the obituaries of forty-five nations here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13601338&postcount=14).

PLAY-OFF FIXTURES
Fixtures are reversed for Second Leg.
Prux v Qazox
Jariss v The Pazhujeb Islands
The Archregimancy v The Holy Empire
Candelaria And Marquez v Dance 2 Revolution
Newmanistan v Bostopia
Jeru FC v Daehanjeiguk
Abaio v Yafor 2
Scotchpinestan v Lovisa
Dancougar v KaMaRi
Aleos v Wentland
Taeshan v Cafundeu
Vephrall v Sorthern Northland
Nire and Nire v Yafalonia and Bazor 2
Bazalonia v Kura-Pelland
Agroprom v Demot

The format will be Home and Away. After two legs, the Away Goals rule will be used, before Extra Time and Penalties, if required.

The Unaclaimed Newspaper

Knights lose, but fans cheer

Well last night was a real tearjerker, the Purple Knights lost at home to the Northern Bettians 4-0. Even though they lost they were givin' a 30 minute standing O y the fans because they finally made it out of qualifiers even if it only amounts to a playoff spot.

Expect the knights draw to be a hard 2nd place team from another group that can easily tear us to peices. Well nyways the home game will not be in the bigger stadium on X Island, it will be in the Collesium of Atlantea. Unlike what many peoples have thought.

Jeruselem Government News

Dazza Dallas leaves Ariddia ... to Qazox

Today, Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas left her office in Ariddia as the Jeruselem's official Ambassador to Ariddia. She was Jeruselem's first Ambassador to Ariddia and her successor has a big task ahead of him or her.

Dazza retiring to quiet life? No, what do people expect! She's moving to Qazox to be the official Ambassador there. She already owns a home in Qazox and the pace in Qazox is expected to be a little slower than Ariddia. Qazoxians aren't strangers to the Dallas family as they visit the place quite often.

A staff member at the Jeruselem embassy in Ariddia said
"We'll miss Dazza. The successor will be boring compared to Dazza. I mean, she's the only boss I know who allowed people to have naked images of herself everywhere. Sometimes we find her asleep at her desk hung over from a party wearing very little. I think we'll get less parties now."

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.png
Bostopia Returns From Media Blackout
Immediately Returns To Protect Young Bostopian Children

In shocking developments, the Bostopian Government has today released the country from the grips of the media blackout from when the Government unilaterally declared that they would all be going on holiday. Due to now being able to access the internet for the second time this holiday, a senior official (reportedly the Emperor) became too tempted at the prospect at being able to check what was going on in Bostopia, and logged on.

The Emperor noted there was nothing notable going on that would be noteworthy, yet did seem pleased after seeing that Bostopia only fell to two losses in their qualification campaign, enabling them to reach the playoffs for the second time in the nations quest at World Cup Qualification. Of course, all World Cups since the previous qualification via playoffs (beating Northern Bettia over two legs), Bostopia qualified automatically.

The F.A. is still said to be "peeved" at the lack of automatic qualication, a situation worsened by the Emperor's griping over "foreign keyboards with the 'at' key in the wrong place.@ (ooc: I meant that) The F.A.'s problems, however, are soon to be forgotten as entertainment in the form of video gaming is shortly offered, along with food that is "smelling rather tasty" according to officials both within the F.A. and the Government.

Accordingly, once this newspaper is printed and distributed to readers world-wide, the media blackout will be back in place until the Ministers return back to the Empire of the Confederate States of the East and West Isles of Bostopia.

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

MATCHDAY TEN: @ Green wombat, @ Carrier Stadium, Wachovia, Green wombat

Well even a blind wombat finds a rutabega once in a while. Green wombat, already eliminated from the playoffs thanks to Scotchpineistan's early 4-3 win, suprised Qazox with a 5-1 win, marking the first loss in the rivalry between these two sides. Granted, Qazox was resting all of the starters in prepreation for the playoff match, but still the loss ties the worst loss in team history, and the ties the most goals allowed in match, set by Commerce Heights 40 years ago in a similar 5-1 defeat. (there's also a 4-0 defeat to Swailatia 40 years ago as well) The lone Pheonix goal came off the foot of Jeffie Huhman in the 67th minute, cutting the lead to 4-1.

But the next challenge is upon the Pheonix and it is against another member of the Continuum, Prux. The Prawns are looking to make their first appearance in the World Cup while Qazox is seeking its Sixth straight appearance.

QAZOX SCORING:
Kallie Jaus- 7 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 6
Renna Valladores- 5
Stevie Spingler- 2
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Jeffie Huhman- 1


SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia L 1-2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan W 2-1 QSPN2 (5-1-2)
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. W 3-1 QSPN2 (6-1-2) CLINCHED PLAYOFF BERTH
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) L 1-5 QSPN (6-1-3)

PLAYOFFS:
@ Prux 1900 Local time (21:30 QST) QSPN
vs. Prux @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) 17:30 QST QSPN


PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS (winners in Bold)
Prux v Qazox
Jariss v The Pazhujeb Islands
The Archregimancy v The Holy Empire
Candelaria And Marquez v Dance 2 Revolution
Newmanistan v Bostopia
Jeru FC v Daehanjeiguk
Abaio v Yafor 2
Scotchpinestan v Lovisa
Dancougar v KaMaRi
Aleos v Wentland
Taeshan v Cafundeu
Vephrall v Sorthern Northland
Nire and Nire v Yafalonia and Bazor 2
Bazalonia v Kura-Pelland
Agroprom v Demot

(OOC to Green wombat, it would be 44 years since I last played you in your country, not 80)

The Prawns had a chance, but then the opening whistle blew, and that chance ended rather quickly as Wentland came out firing on all cylinders and won 3-0, eliminating the Prawns from the Auto berth, but Wentland isn't going to the World Cup just yet, either as Ad'ihan won its match, clinching the spot.

But this marks the frist time that Prux has advanced this far, and the toughest challenge is yet to come as they have to face Qazox, a multiple time World Cup qualifier. This will mark the first time that the two sides have ever met, and with the 20th anniversary of the Prux independence from Qazox coming shortly, it could be a double celebration.

Goals:
J7Y- 7
Heff Jardy- 6
James Nobel- 4
Matt Victor Paulsen- 2
Mikey James -1
Henry Marks-1
Triple M- 1

Green Wombat Daily Tattler

GREEN WOMBAT 5- Qazox 1

That is not a misprint, nor a typo onor a late April Fools' Joke. GREEN WOMBAT BEAT QAZOX!!! 5-1, but too little too late as Scotchpineistan won their match earlier in the day, eliminating the Wombats before the match even bagen. And the announcement that Qazox was using 2nd-stringers was enough of an insult an the Wombats dominated, scoring the first 4 goals all off the foot of Claudia Diehl, and she set a new team record with here 37th carrer goal, in what will be her last match at home, as she announced her retirement to take effect after the CoH.

But a 5-0-5 record still is an improvement over the fiasco of 8 years ago, but the team needs that one win to re-introduce themselves as a factor in the world.

National Team’s World Cup Bid Ends on Positive Note

Alas, Kereca’s first run at a World Cup has come to an end. However, our national team scored an unlikely draw for the second match in a row. First it was against Group 10 leaders Northern Bettia, and this time around, the national squad earned a hard-fought draw against heavy favorites Yafor 2.

It was a scorching day in Ajer, Yafor 2, and the Zydrakos Dome did not offer much relief for either side. Yafor 2 started off with a 4-1-3-1-1 lineup, while Kereca manager Cliff Carpenter had chosen a more typical 4-4-2 formation.

The match did not start off well for the underdog away side. Defender Mike Ceja collided with a Yaforite midfielder in the 7th minute and came down awkwardly on his right ankle, the same ankle injured in the recent match against Northern Bettia. Reserve Justin Kee would replace the 22-year-old. In the 9th minute, Yafor 2 put the ball in the back of the net, but striker Vorin Dariegan was deemed to be offside. The away side wouldn’t miss their opportunity. In the 17th minute, a well placed corner kick from Bruce Albin was followed by Kevin Roberts’ hard but accurate header. The nice combination silenced the Zydrakos Dome and Kereca was now up 0-1. The goal was a team-leading fourth for the young striker. Yafor 2 enjoyed most of the ball during the first half, as they maintained 57 percent of possession, but went into the locker rooms down one goal to nil.

Yafor 2 manager Gerod Flamer clearly took some time during the break to go over his strategy, and his squad played much better football in the second half. After 74 minutes, Kereca lost yet another defender due to injury. Sixteen-year-old Russ Zapata had to be carried off on a stretcher in agony, and Pat Hatley came in to replace him. In the 79th minute, Yaforite Danilo Silva went down in a suspected penalty situation after a challenge from the visitors' right back, but the referee signaled to keep playing. It would be Yafor 2 who would get the final word. Vorin Dariegan showed off his technical mastery when he rounded reserve Pat Hatley and finished with an equalizing goal. The home crowd breathed a collective sigh of relief when Hatley was unable to give the visitors the go-ahead goal after his attack from the left in the waning minutes of the match. The match ended a 1-1 draw, and put Kereca in 5th place in Group 10 with a 1-5-4 record.

Manager Cliff Carpenter commented on his side’s first World Cup attempt.

“The team performed real well, given the conditions. To draw against the fifteenth and twentieth ranked teams in the world in successive matches is pretty damn good, and we never got blown out of any match. I think four years from now we’ll be even better with all the experience we got this year.”

World Cup 40 Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
PM1: JFC(37) --- (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) --- (37)JFC

TERROR STRIKES CASARI

http://timesonline.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/03/bomb2.jpg

CASARI - As the Qualifiers came to a close, a bomb in the stands of the stadium exploded. Chaos ensued as people began running in all directions. Despite the end of the match showing Casari the way forward to the World Cup, no one seemed to be getting out of a quiet and peaceful evening as several other bombs located around the stadium exploded, mostly at exits. By the time 6 bombs had detonated, Casari security forces managed to find and diffuse the remaining 17 bombs in the stadium. In addition, a number of similar explosions rocked the city. In all, Casaran forces managed to isolate 42 bombing locations throughout the city, including those already detonated. Han authorities present in Casari were quick to point blame to the Mujeongbu - an anarchist organization dedicated to the principle of global overthrow of oppressive authority.

In a press conference outside the Imperial Team's convoy, officials told reporters: "For weeks, there had been suspicions of terrorist plots against the Casarans. The general consensus was that these actions would have occurred on this date. Unfortunately, lack of coordination by our two sides failed to prevent this calamity."

Rumors have quickly spread, and initial estimates suggest that 1500 people had died in the attacks, including over 600 Han citizens; many humanitarian organizations intervening in the calamity suggest that these numbers are vastly under-estimated Among the casaulties listed were four member of the Team; for security purposes, their names have not been released. The Emperor has not made any remarks concerning the reaction to this terrorist attack, but the Foreign Affairs Minister Marquis Pak Yu remarked: "We cannot allow this travesty to continue unabated. The Empire recognizes the threats presented by our former and still standing foes of the Mujeongbu, and it is therefore time for us to take the war back to them. Since they now strike heartlessly against the citizens of foreign countries, it is necessary for the World to recognize and end the threat presented by extremist anarchists. It is necessary to turn away the revolting terrorist tactics employed by these vile foes of civilization."

The attacks began as soon as the final whistle blew on the pitch, and the Han players sulking in a lowly 4-1 defeat to Casari. Song Jongguk's late goal was the only consolation prize as the blast covered the east edge of the stadium. Almost instantly, the people began to crowd and rush to the exits, the very place where the next bombs exploded. The bombs exploded in a sequential manner, as if expecting people to follow the course of the explosion route. The great tragedy came as the bomb overlooking the pass under which the players the enter stadium exploded as the Imperial Team was being evacuated from the field. Although it was much too late to stop the chaos, Casaran police managed to defuse the remaining bombs in the stadium, inevitably saving many more lives. It remains uncertain how they managed to accomplish this task. It was around the time when the stadium fell silent to the bombs, explosions first starting to work their way from near downtown to the goverment center. In contrast to the explosions in the stadium, these were relatively low yield and inflicted little damage or casualties. Instead, the greatest effect was primarily terror. Amidst reports that the Mujeongbu were responsible, visiting Han citizens were subject to vast arrays of retaliations by vigilant Casaran groups. Casaran police inevitably had great difficult trying to manage the scene as the city fell into a dark and gloomy night.

Han officials have since been in deep contact with Casaran officials, although about what they're talking remains confidential and unknown. The fact that Imperial authorities were aware of the risks raised some interesting questions during the press conference. If the Empire knew of the attack, why didn't either Casari or the Han Empire try to relocate the match? Officials cited that changing plans to accommodate terrorists was not in conformity to anti-terrorist doctrine. If conformity was not possible, was it possible to stop the attacks before they materialized? Officials suggested that had Casaran officials acted more quickly, this whole event could have been avoided. At this point, it seems readily obvious that neither Han Intelligence authorities nor Casaran Intelligence authorities will be willing to admit fault for passing the buck. For certain, thousands lie dead or dying and as the Imperial Team makes difficult preparation for their playoff match in Jeruselem to play against the country's official Army Team.

We will report more on this matter as it happens...

SIC - that's Secret! Not Silly

皇 - Emperor
外 - Marquis Pak Yu (Foreign Affairs Minister)
軍 - Marquis Yi Jongmu (Defense Minister)
事 - Marquis Yi Jangho (Domestic Affairs Minister)
政 - Marquis Jang Jeonggu (Finance Minister)
花郞 - Duke Weon Gwang (Head of the Hwarang)

皇: What on earth happened, and why did it happen? How could we let it happen?

外: I've just issued a statement condemning the attack. But we're going to have to act quickly. If the Mujeongbu don't get their desserts, we're going to have a hard time convincing the people that we're doing enough to make the Mujeongbu pay.

皇: Duke Weon! You are the head of the Hwarang! What happened?

花郞: Well, the honest truth is that we sent them a message days ago. They should have received it, but from our analyses, they were making no preparations against the attack. It was only because we knew of this that we were able to react so quickly. Regrettably, we've suffered terrible losses at the negligence of Casaran Intelligence. 743 deaths and 2409 casualties, all civilian according to the last statistics on the impact upon the Han.

皇: How will this act work on our relations wit Casari?

外: Officially, we have no relations.

軍: It's obvious that these barbarians don't know how to rule their own country. We should intervene to make things work our way. And maybe then we can teach them a lesson in the art of effective government.

政: We can't afford an entanglement of that size that the present. King Pyeong's regime in Tempalhiyon is already costing us a lot and the estimated value of return continues to decrease. If we try to work something similar in Casari, we will go bankrupt in no time!

外: The last thing we need is to intervene militarily in Casari. They are allies of Bostopia, and I think it's best that we try to avoid entangling foreign affairs of this dire nature so soon after the fall-out over last season's epiisodes.

花郞: It is obvious that military option cannot be pursued. Casarans have their own force, and it would be much cheaper for us to use it than for us to send our own troops to do the job. Besides, Han soldiers killing Casaran civilians is the last thing we need to show on our resume. Instead, our work must be covert and subversive. The Mujeongbu do not work in the open, and so neither should we.

事: That takes too long! We need to establish spies in the Mujeongbu, and it's unlikely we'll get any positive leads so soon after a major attack.

花郞: True as it is, this is Casari. They will use Casaran intermediates, the people who are deluded to believe the Mujeongbu ideology. They will be the most difficult to spot, but once uncovered, it should not be difficult to unroot the enemy from his hole.

皇: Well, a rabbit in a hole is a rabbit in a hole. How do we get them out? I want the Mujeongbu to perish, not simply fail.

花郞: Perish is hard to manage, since the Mujeongbu are the practitioners of ideology. Therefore, we must show the people that adhering to their ideology is bad. A war of wills, so to speak.

皇: I want the Hwarang to destroy the Mujeongbu. Send whoever is available to end this. They have persisted for far too long.

花郞: His Imperial Majesty must understand that it is unlikely that we will ever destroy the Mujeongbu. Ideas are much like little eggs; once hatched, they're hard to put back in their shells. Instead, the best thing to do is manage their ideology and subvert to our liking. In this manner, we can co-exist without a necessity to kill or be killed.

軍: Sounds pointless. Get me the Army, and I'll show you how it's done!

皇: Marquis Yi, calm yourself. We definitely do not want the military option until a last resort. But I fear that the Hwarang may take too long.

花郞: On the contrary, His Imperial Majesty needs not wait for action, as we had been preparing from such a possible calamity. We already have agents in the field. All that is needed is to find a way inside the tiger's lair. Once inside, we can control them.

皇: Then I will trust your judgment, Duke Weon.

(ooc: If Casari finds any point of this preceding RP to be excessive or unsatisfactory to his/her/its liking, we will modify it accordingly. An absence of response will be interpreted as acceptance, or as indicated by Casari's RP parameters. Of course, Casari is free to ignore this RP completely and dismiss it as rumor, although I'd much rather prefer something more tangible and exciting!)


Goal Scorers
9 - Jeong Jihun
3 - Kim Daeeui, Baek Jihun
2 - Song Jongguk, Yi Dongguk, Yi Yeongpyo
1 - Kim Byeongji, An Pilrip, Hong Myeongbo

THE ROCKET REPORT

MCALLISTER’S HAT TRICK SENDS EMPIRE TO PLAYOFF

Putnam Lake, Newmanistan- Jeremy McAllister had one of those days where everything just seemed to go his way. The fired up young striker playing on the pitch of his home side led the Rockets to a 3-1 victory over Eighthgraderistan, allowing the Empire to finish 3rd in Group XI and advance to the playoff where they will take on Bostopia in a two-game home-and-home set, with the first game to be played in Newmanistan.

The Rockets wore their alternate black kits for the match to pay tribute to Starblaydi football legend Simeone Di Bradini, who sadly passed away this past week. Though Di Bradini never really had any immediate connection to Newmanistan, the Rockets were touched knowing that they were the last club that Simeone would see win the Cup named in his honor, and in general be the last nation to win a major global championship in the Baptism of Fire in his home nation. All that, plus the presence of Underdog, making his first visit to the Empire. His visit was much anticipated, prompting several fans in attendance to dress up as the poodle.

McAllister put the Rockets on the board in the 25th minute, taking a pass from Kevin Carrigan, then blasting it just inside the left goalpost. Goalkeeper Micky Deter never seemed to get a good read on the ball, and perhaps thought J-Mac was going to pass to John Murphy, and was very slow to react to the shot. Jeremy’s second goal came as a result of a penalty kick in the 36th minute. Manny Vincente was also given a yellow card for his rough tackle in the penalty area by referee Fr. Sophronius the Merciful of The Archregimancy. Vincente perhaps could have gotten away with it, but the official did not appreciate the additional elbow to the head delivered by Vncente to McAllister once they were down. McAllister cooly approached the ball then delivered a powerful shot again inside the left goalpost. Deter guess the wrong way, likely thinking J-Mac wouldn’t go the same way twice. It would remain 2-nil into halftime.

The second half began with some exciting chances on both sides, before the Rockets gradually gained control of the midfield. The crowd was cheering and chanting, Underdog happily waving his tail, when in the 73rd minute, McAllister and Kevin Lewis exchanged some nice passes in close before McAllister put away his third goal of the game, sending the Putnam Lake and Newmanistan faithful into an absolute frenzy. Chants of “Play-off! Play-off!” drowned out the sound of anything else, and not even a Bobby Aster goal for Eighthgraderistan in the 85th minute could silence the crowd. When the final whistle sounded, it was official, Newmanistan’s third consecutive victory when they absolutely needed all three were complete. The Underdogs were successful and heading to the playoff.

Moments later, the Rockets found out their playoff opponent. Most of us thought it would be Kura-Pelland, but the format used actually pairs Newmanistan with the Group V 2nd place club, Bostopia, who is the world’s 24th ranked team. Newmanistan is one of four teams from the 27th Baptism of Fire to advance to the playoff. The other ones all begin with the letter “A” (Aleos, Abaio, and Agroprom). More on that match will follow.

Eighthgraderistan is eliminated from World Cup contention, as team was found to be using High School players and is barred from any international competition for failure to adhere to strict national middle school players only rule. The team will not have to forfeit any matches, but will not compete in the CoH, effectively ending nation's international soccer participation.

Jeruselem Goverment News

Jeru FC face uphill battle to make final

Jeru FC scraped into the playoff in their group somehow where the top two teams brutally destroyed the other four. Somehow Jeru FC managed to grab 3rd spot.

This means our army boys must beat Daehanjeiguk in a two legged playoff. Jeru FC's record in the current campaign is not much to read about. Admittedly, the Capitalist SLANI in Group 15 - was the team who ran over their opponents like Godzilla does. Sorthern Northland played really well to finish 2nd with two losses to the SLANI and they deserved 2nd spot Jeru FC were the best of the worst in 3rd.

Jeru FC concded 25 - the 2nd worst in Group 15. Most of the damage was done by Capitalist SLANI and Sorthern Northland who scored most goals against Jeru FC. Jeru FC did score 18 goals but then Jeruselem scored 27 goals in their campaign as benchmark. Jeruselem's defense was stingy with 11 and not 25.

Comparing the two teams, Jeruselem had to fight to get top spot with 4 good teams fighting for 3 places while in Group 15, only 3 of the 6 teams were playing any good. Jeru FC would have not made the playoff in another group as other teams played much better but the one-sided nature of Group 15 oddly - saved them.

Jeru FC don't expect to get past Daehanjeiguk but anyone in a playoff can redeem themselves. Assistant Coach for Jeruselem, Sister Marsha, will be flown into the Jeru FC training session to encourage our boys and give some divine assistance. We think they'll respond because she's a "divine blonde".

There are concerns about playing Daehanjeiguk, after recent events in Casari where the Han recently played. However the coach Alfedo Neves wasn't worried because the Jeru FC players are actually active Jeruselem military personnel, which know how to handle guns and explosives.

Qualified Support for Jey BoF Bid
Starblaydi FA 'open to possibility'

The Starblaydi Football Association today iterated its willingness to see the Baptism of Fire hosted in the Allied Empire of Jey, specifically by the Universitus University. The proviso was, however, that Jey's footballing representatives should return to the international fold.

"I have no objections to a fully-integrated Jey hosting or co-hosting the Baptism of Fire," said SFA Former Players Association chairman Paul Noble, "but I think before then they should have at least competed in a full World Cup Qualifying campaign."

Jey pulled their side out of the 38th World Cup after defeat to Starblaydia, of all places, in the Baptism of Fire Semi-Final. They haven't appeared on the World Cup scene since, bar this offer to host the Baptism of Fire. The University's incredible levels of 'self-confidence' rubbed many observers up the wrong way, particularly after the Tildes Skills School withdrew their support of their own team, effectively disowning them for losing a match, not living up to the 'perfection' that is seemingly demanded in that particular college.

"I don't feel that Jey can be a pillar of the World Cup community without having been a proven, committed member of that community for some time. Even if it is only four years."

JARISS RENAISSANCE PRESS
No Storm Shall Silence Us

Battle of The Isles

Jariss managed to draw their way into the playoffs with their third draw of the second half to go with a pair of losses. Despite this poor second half, the team is glad for a fresh start as their defense has gotten back to more Jariss- like efforts except when they play the Han for some reason. But now they face The Pazhujeb Islands in a home and home match for the right to get to the Cup proper.

Both sides have a bit in common oddly enough. Both are ranked within 10 spots of each other showing what looks to be an even match in both games. Both teams use similar lineups- Jariss' 4-5-1 to the 4-4-2 of Pazhujeb. Both nations are island based though the Pazhujeb boasts several islands under their rule to Jariss' one. Both nations lack airports and require boat travel to get out of the country. The main difference is that Jariss appears to be the more technologically advanced of the two, meaning that coverage of the away match will be difficult. Also the experience edge may go slightly in Jariss' favor as this is the second time most members of the team find themselves in a playoff spot to qualify for the cup proper. How big an edge that may be will be seen on match day.

All in all it looks to be a hard fought match by two near-twin nations. May the better team win.

TheUnaclaimed Newspaper

Knights draw Cafundeu for Playoffs, Hopes die

Guess what sports fans the Purple Knights are screwed. They play the Cafudeu teamin a to leg playoff matchup to see who goes to the world cup. The Knights pretty much have no chance. The caf team is way better.

The home game to be played, will be at the Atlantea Collesium, which house 490,000 people. Regretably the game will probally not be neede, and may be used by the Cafundeu team as a showboat of there prominence going into the world cup. Expect to see your gallant knights in the cup of harmony in a few weeks.

The Nationstates Inquisition: Yafalonia and Bazor 2

Now bringing you the news in Quadrophonic Print

Nire & Nire & Yafalonia & Bazor 2, yes the Ampersands are seemingly everywhere these days, FAIL's HARD will be facing Nire & Nire in a home and away leg play-off with away goals being the deciders before AET and PK's (if any) are used.

So what are we going to do now? Well obviously what we are going to do is an indepth analysis of Nire and Nire and just how this also duel nation relates to our very own.

Government:

Perhaps there is a great deal of similiarity here but we don't know. Oh, that's not because we don't know Nire and Nire (well, we don't but let's pretend we actually do know them) but that because our own governmental system is so incredibly complex and incomrehendible that we don't even know who's meant to be in charge.
As such, the government must be doing it's job and so by comparison must be thousands time better than anything anyone else have.

Points to Y&B2

History:

Nire and Nire and desputed territories with the same names, their history is similiar in the fact that both Nire and Nire are seperate entities that have previously engaged in civil wars Yafalonia and Bazor 2 are confused identities with the civil war being the result of a difference of opinion what a united nation should be called.

For being basically using the same name... Yafalonia (and Bazor 2) is so much better. Once again we are awarding points...

World Cup Qualification:

Nire and Nire have scored 14 points in their World Cup Qualification group, while Yafalonia & Bazor 2 have scored significantly more than that with a whole 21 points. Nire have a total of X KPB Points while Yafalonia and Bazor 2 have a total of X+y KPB points

Yeah, so for any given positive value of y Yafalonia and Bazor 2 is in the league. So once again Yafalonia and Bazor 2 takes the points.

Are there anything that Nire and Nire take the lead in? Yes, and that's crazy despots who follow the principle of Shentovism... What's that? I don't know it's just something that I liked the sound of...

Demot Daily ~ Chance of Game

No, that is not a typo, but a facing of the facts. This game, this beautiful and wonderful game, all hinges on chance or luck if you wish. While skill and talent are always going to be of importance, we have learned time and time again this qualifying stage that it all comes down to chance. If the luck is not with your squad, your chances of victory go down significantly. Just look at the match against JSY, chance was obviously on their side. Despite the Dynamo dominating the game, attacking with flair, holding the possession, and just overpowering their oppisition, the game ended in the draw. Three times did the squad beat the keeper only to have it go banging off the woodwork. Twice did the strikers think to have taken the lead in the last ten minutes, only to have the improper call of offside be made and the goal dissallowed. And how else do you explain those two wacky defelections that allowed the JSY goals on their only two shots of the game? My friends, it all comes down to chance, and the lads simply didn't have it or else their upcoming playoff against Agroprom wouldn't be neccasary.

Looking ahead to the tie, in theory this should be a very easy advancement. Agroprom were rather poor in their play in the groupstage and just did manage to sneak into this stage. When compared with the rest of the teams the Dynamo could of been facing, it does seem that lady luck was smiling some one us, as they are one of the weakest teams to make it. They were handled quite easily by Valanora and Bostopia, both teams of whom we are of equal or better talent, so the odds stack very nicely for us. However, they do have the pleasure of hosting the first leg, able to take the initiave and dictate how the second leg will be played. While the squad has performed well, when away goals are the tiebreaker, chance it seems will have a very large impact. This is where Rotherwell and Roma have to take control, this is where the class of the team needs to present itself. If they are unable to do so, they trully do not deserve their lofty ranking and belong in the Cup of Harmony.

Scorers
Insaki Roma - 12
Julius Rotherwell - 5
Maria Hart - 5
Cruril Songsteel - 5
Lea Conner - 2

Article by Rich Baker

The National Reporter Online: News presented in a curiously similar style to all the other newspapers in the Candelarias
Albrecht faces déjà vu in D2R visit

Iain Miller writes. There is a reason why, for countries such as ours, this international game is the new war; why it can inspire such passions among the citizens of those chosen few countries capable of playing at the highest level. Even beyond our own preferred clubs, the Candelaria And Marquez national football team is ours, and we are of it. Anyone with a blue and green passport stands ready to represent our country; man or woman, young or old. We are all national team players. We just haven’t received our call-ups yet.

Of course, the events of World Cup 40 will be watched by many more people from many more countries than just those thirty-two directly involved. For those viewers, names such as Candelaria And Marquez – or even Starblaydia and Krytenia – would mean little. The countries themselves matter little, but the fact that they are countries does. Which neutral cannot fail to enjoy the fact that the hearts of faraway millions rest, at any one time, on the decisions of one player or coach – one of their countrymen out of millions if not billions – and an individual like any other. Of course, this one person is not the full story; nor even are the ten other players out on the pitch. For behind them there is a network of parents, of coaches, of friends and enemies, of supporters and naysayers, of sportswriters and pundits; stretching back decades if not centuries.

And those other individuals have other individuals still, supporting them like the proverbial fleas until it becomes truly correct to say that not a man, woman or child in the Candelarias, past or present, has failed to be involved – somewhere down the line, no matter how distantly – with the successes or failures of the national team. Truly, this is an effort that embraces us all.

And yet the vagaries of this sport are chaotic enough that predicting the rise and fall of nations is an unattainable goal. One only need look at Dance 2 Revolution, our opponents in the play-offs. When last we met, nigh-on six years ago, there was little doubt about who were the favourites and C&M were duly beaten one-nil across the two legs. This time, despite our respective third- and second-place seedings, the Big Blues are (or at least were) the twenty-second ‘best’ side in the world, to the 8-Panel State’s ranking at thirty-fourth. The shifting sands of sporting success have aligned in such a way that a country many times the size of our own, a country with many decades of footballing history, a country able to pick not only from its own supreme athletes but those of the subsumed former Kaze Progressa, is less favoured by the bookmakers than our own islands’ finest.

But any closer an inspection soon reveals that the wise punter may prefer to keep his money in his pocket. It may seem that we have been granted a reprieve by this play-off draw; but we will still face the second match away from home, and will still be employing a rather unfamiliar-looking side. Stefano – Dixon, Young, Williams, Sosa – Burgos, Ma, Mengucci, Dobson – Novo and Rául Vélez. It’s hardly an eleven that most would have expected, and displays in inglorious technicolour the knife-edge upon which all sporting nations sit. For what can we as individuals, we as a nation, hope to achieve when the goddess of injuries strikes down five of our expected starters? But now; Martinez, Caras, Cassa and all must be forgotten, for our place in the last thirty-two depends on these eleven chosen men and no others. They’ll have to raise their game; not only from the flaccid, lifeless performance in the one-nil defeat to Septentrionia, but from that flaccid, lifeless one-nil defeat to Dance 2 Revolution those merest years ago. The Millerman Sheppard Stadium was the scene of both those failures. We cannot let it see a third. A place in the Cup of Harmony would be the bitterest reward whilst we can still taste World Cup 40.

It must be said that if we do have to go to the accursed CoH, at least we won’t be alone. The draw has not been kind to several of our greatest sporting foes, particularly the hiccupping ranks of the BoF26 crew. One of Sorthern Northland and Vephrall will be absent, while Kura-Pelland face a stern test in Bazalonia. Even the Han have a tricky little contest to come with the reigning CoH holders. Beyond them meanwhile, a new generation awaits. There will certainly be two debutants this Cup – three if you count the KaMaRi tie – while in the lets-have-a-look-at-what-you-could-have-won contest, Lovisa face Scotchpinestan; a country whose Soccer Federation attempted to pull them out of the competition hours before the first kick-off. A certain trio of MN Smith players will be thanking their lucky stars that that move didn’t come off. But even the most one-eyed of Smudgers fans will be hoping beyond hope that Watson, Walker and Moore aren’t the largest contingent of CMSC players at the fortieth World Cup.

‘Cos that’d be a bit of a bugger, frankly.

______________

Elsewhere...


A warm evening breeze blew down Pozdnyakov Road, making the red-and-white striped tape flutter, and big yellow signs with exclamation marks on them gesticulate wildly in opposing directions. What remained of St. Paul’s Lutheran Church wobbled uninvitingly.

“I remember it now,” Tom Redway affirmed, while the lamb bleated contentedly under his left arm. “I used to come down here with my parents. Edmonds Park’s just over the road, and Muscat Wood, and there’s little farms and stuff dotted about.”

“In the middle of Clotaire..? How very twee this city is”

“Aah, some people remember when it were all fields around ‘ere,” Tom grinned. “Until the city expanded. There’s still a few hangers-on.”

“Me-e-e-e-e-h-h-h”

Sukie ducked under a free-hanging pylon and peered through an arching window. The church inside was still an absolute mess.

“How long’s it been like this, d’you suppose?” she asked.

“It was foine and daandy when oi were a laad, s–”

“Please stop talking like that.”

“It’s probably just since the hurricane, Ms Roheart. Rohaert. It’s an old building, compared to the rest of the city anyhow. It wasn’t built to withstand the likes of Neil, I don’t suppose.”

“Well, why haven’t they rebuilt it yet? Uuwuh-wuh,” she added, as a chunk of unidentifiable building material fluttered down onto the ground, and something somewhere made an unpleasant shifting sound. She backed away and joined Tom on the curb.

“Cash, I guess. Repairing schools and stuff probably ranks higher than some old church. It was a pretty niche place, anyway. ‘Don’t reckon it had much in the way of a congregation… Look, are we gonna go, then? There’s obviously no-one here, an’ if we leave now I can catch the play-off draw…”

“I guess. Is that bleating? Besides the obvious.” She ran a little way down the road and looked up an impromptu dirt track, where a small sheepfold complete with sheep backed on to the wood. “Shall we just drop Chop off here, or what?”

“We can’t do that! He’s not likely to be their offspring, is he? They’ll probably eat him, or something.”

“I think that’s hamsters,” Sukie suggested doubtfully.

“Well, anyway… There were those lamb-rustlings all around Clotaire a few weeks back.”

“I read it in the Herald, aye.”

“I don’t want him getting… nicked…”

Tom trailed off as the pair watched an elderly man bedecked in some manner of blue smock bend down over the fence and lift out a argumentative lamb. He turned furtively, caught Tom and Sukie’s eye, and began to run, lamb under one arm, across the edge of the park and towards the wood. The pair looked at each other, shrugged, and began to speed after him, dumping Chop in with the other sheep and racing across the park.

“Oi!” Sukie shouted at the departing ponchoey-thing flapping in the breeze. “COME BACK WITH THAT LAMB! I don’t think I’ve ever said that before…”

“Aaagh!”

She cursed and pirouetted to where Tom had collapsed, holding his left leg and wincing.

“I think I’ve… aagh… broken it…”

“Oh for heaven’s sake, does your surname end in a vowel?”

“No…”

“Then get up! It’s getting dark and the last thi–”

“Seriously… aagh…”

She bent down and manipulated him a bit.

“Gosh… I think you have, and all… Looks like a comminuted fracture to the diaphyseal femur…”

“Ugh… Really?”

“No, I’m making it up. You need to see a proper doctor quick though, my lad. There’s no way you should be this fragile.” Sukie plunged her hand into a pocket for her mobile. “On the other hand, I was just chasing a strange man with a sheep… Which is much more entertaining.”

“You can’t just leave me here!”

“I won’t be able to get a signal out here anyway, I don’t suppose. Just stay there and don’t move it, I’ll be right back…”

She took off again, down the track the man had followed and between the first few trees of the wood. What on Earth did she think she was doing?! There was a bloke out there that needed medical attention and, funnily enough, she just happened to have letters after her name and everythin’. And here I am off on a wild goose chase to try and discover… what? she thought to herself. She couldn’t even really remember now. God, I’ve been hanging around Hernández way too much, she thought, but she didn’t stop. She plunged on deeper into the darkness until –

“Aaugh…” Her foot jammed under a root, or tripped over a stone, or something, and she collapsed into the dirt before pulling herself back up, dusting herself down, readjusting to the light… and looking into the eyes of a lamb. It regarded her coolly, and remained silent.

Something about its glower made her take a step backwards and she fell over again, this time toppling downwards next to a heap of stone. Its eyes – actually, come to think of it, its wool as well – seemed to be glowing. Everything around her was pitch black, but the lamb was as its own light source.

As she managed to drag her eyes away from the creature, she saw that it wasn’t alone. At least a dozen other shimmering lambs were milling about; some looking straight at her, others paying her no heed. They were spaced out around the clearing, she could see now; each standing next to, or skipping towards, another little mound of stones, or wood. Some of the heaps even seemed to be painted.

The lamb directly in front of her inched forward even closer, and Sukie felt the instinctive compulsion to reach out and touch it. As her fingers touched its fleece, she felt a warm blush move up her arm, while the creature seemed to shake. The light was dying away and the lamb took on a lucent quality, and Sukie could see that it was sharing its eyes with something else entirely. A little black… child? No, but a creature child-sized was looking up at her. Its mouth was just open, revealing rows of craggy little teeth. Its whole body was sharp and unpleasant, but those eyes… They glistened sadly, and Sukie felt a torrent of misery wash over her in sympathy.

“Ding-Dong,” the little man whispered wretchedly.

She pulled her hand back and the figure was gone, replaced again with the lamb. It took one last, long look at her before trotting forwards, between her knees… through her knees… She sprung to her feet and turned around, just quickly enough to see the little waggling tail disappear into the pile.

“It’s a church…” she whispered to herself. The big cross daubed with white paint down the front was a bit of a giveaway, and now she had the opportunity to look closer the other piles bore the same sign. Some were of rather better, less hurried construction; and looked like proper little buildings. But the lambs were gone.

“Var hälsad Maria, full av nåd. Herren är med dig…”

Sukie stretched upwards, and could see the old man in blue knelt before a particularly haphazard pile.

“Välsignad är du bland kvinnor, och välsignad är din livsfrukt Jesus…”

Suddenly, he raised his arm, and a knife glistened in the darkness. Sukie ran forwards, cursing on her twisted ankle, but arrived just as the hand was brought down and a lamb’s wail echoed into the night.

“Heliga Maria, Guds Moder, be för oss syndare…” the man continued, seemingly oblivious both to his own actions as Sukie’s shout of “No!”

He was crying, tears slipping down his face and mingling with the flowing blood of the little lamb.

“I only wanted to save them,” he whispered. “I only wanted to help them.”

“You don’t seem to have done a particularly great job,” Sukie hissed, before shutting herself up. “You mean the children, don’t you? I know you do. William and Ella and the others…” Karlsson and Green and Lundström, Sukie added to herself, thoughtfully.

“They were struggling. They are struggling. They need my help, just like their parents and their grandparents before them. St. Paul’s was always there…”

“Until the hurricane?”

“I thought I could make a new church. A thousand new churches… It’s not working. Not yet. They needed more. The Han man…”

“The hangman? Some sort of executioner?”

Sukie hadn’t been sure if they were really talking to each other, but to this the man shook his head.

“The Han man. The Asian fellow… He got me the Verbosita. For the children. Just for the children, just until the churches were ready, just to help them with their schoolwork… Just to keep them going. Just to tide them over until… until the Lord could come and help… He said he’d bring more, but it never came…”

Suddenly, he turned and looked up at her, and his eyes were those of the little black man, and the little shining lambs. “They’re all alright, aren’t they? All our children?”

“I… Yes, mister…?”

“Pastor Daniel Nilsson…”

“Yes, Pastor. They’re… fine.”

He nodded and turned away, and Sukie was suddenly merely alone in a dark wood, with her hand resting on a reverend. She fished in a pocket for her mobile, said a quiet prayer to Motorola, and dialled for an ambulance.

And then when that was all done she sighed, said a very rude word, and dialled up the Ministry for Rational Thought.

...at the Simeone Di Bradini memorial service in Iskara, Jhanna, Starblaydia...

"..and, of course, the Lord-Protector is here, and surprisingly, so is his girlfriend, the Krytenian premier, Dominique Domasca. Domasca was expected to attend a funeral in her home nation, but has decided to pay tribute to the legendary footballer."

...meanwhile, at the Jonathan Derea funeral...

"...but the President is missing! Attending the funeral of a foreign sportsman seemingly appears more important to the woman supposed to be running this country, the one who stopped Derea from doing so..."

...a few days later, Emberton North Airport.

"Miss Domasca, we have now landed. Looks like a big reception, ma'am."

Dominique Domasca looked out of the plane window. The pilot wasn't wrong. Out in the distance, she could see a huge throng of people. "Good crowd. But, hang on..."

She suddenly realised there was a large number of people wearing navy uniforms. Security staff, she realised, but why so many? She had no time to think further though, as she was ushered off the plane. She realised she was further away from the crowd than usual.

The President was surrounded by security staff as soon as she left the plane, something she was clearly not expecting.

"What the fuck is going on?!?" Domasca screamed at the group.

"er...Madame President....there's been a bit of a situation." Nervously, a rather burly man spoke up

"Situation? Define...situation."

"Yes, well...er...let's just say your absence from Mr Derea's funeral was a tad...unpopular. That, and other things."

Domasca was now close enough to the crowd to read some of the banners they were holding. IMPEACH DOMASCA, said one. CANUCKS OUT, AND TAKE HER WITH YOU, said another. Domasca had just spotted one wag and his CRAWL OFF AND DAII placard when it happened.

Bang!

The burly man, who had been speaking to Domasca, fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes, blood pouring from a wound in his neck.

"MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! MOVE THE PRESIDENT!!!"

Domasca suddenly found herself being carried by half a dozen large men towards a waiting car. she was rather unceremoniously thrown in the back, and the car sped off.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VERGONHA! CLASSIFICAÇÃO AGORA SÓ NOS PLAYOFFS!

The game that could decide Cafundéu's entrance in World Cup 40 was a disaster. Playing in foreign territory against those who would end getting the automatic qualification that we wanted to have, the Monopolists weren't able to show all their football talent, playing an average game that ended in a draw. With this draw, Cafundéu will have to play in the playoffs, and the opponent is Taeshan. In theory, it would be a very easy game, but luck is not on our side lately...

In this game, Cafundéu entered as the favourite to win the game and the qualification, but things turn very difficult after the tenth minute, when Baker crossed the ball to the area and Allen fell when trying to head the ball. The referee called a penalty, which was the correct decision, as Marcelo Rocha really pushed Allen inside the area. The defender took the penalty and scored the goal. Cafundéu would only draw the game in the second half, when Augusto César exchanged passes with Flecha and shot to score.

During the whole second half, Cafundéu tried to score the second goal, the one that could qualify the team. But this didn't happen. With many difficulties to invade the opponent area, the Monopolists saw Quakmybush growing in the game. And, in a smart counterattack, Allen appeared again inside the area. This time, he headed the ball and could score the goal. Without any hopes, Cafundéu was able to score the second goal with Careca, but the team didn't have more chances. It was a draw.

QUAKMYBUSH 2x2 CAFUNDÉU

Place: somewhere, in someplace.
Attendance: people, people and more people.
Referee: Ian Hall (Valanora).
MOTM: Johnston Allen (Quakmybush).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/quakmybush.png QUAKMYBUSH: Carroll; Allen, Manu, Valez and Gait; Bricking and Fields (Bandino 45'); Baker, Plett, Graves, Sorley (Sturm 45').
Coach: someone.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva, Marcelinho and Moreira (Carlos Magno 64'); Flecha (Rubiano 77') and Saulo (Careca 45').
Coach: Caio Meback.

Goals:QKM: Allen 10'/88'.
CAF: Augusto César 50' , Careca 96'.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Taeshan: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva, Giovanni and Marcelinho; Flecha and Careca.
Coach: Caio Meback.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Victor Gill (Acapais).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

10- Flecha
5- Saulo
4- Moreira, Marcelinho
3- Augusto César
2- Silveira, Da Silva, Alex, Careca
1- Rubiano, Carlos Magno

http://x55.xanga.com/272c720709c35171177946/q129924595.png

On The Violence In Casari

On behalf of the entire Pazhujebi Imperial Senate, its constituents, and the people of the Pazhujeb Islands as a whole, I strongly condemn the violence and terrorism that has broken out in the nation of Casari. It is my belief that doplomatic solutions are always desirable, and that violence must always been the last option, and in this case, I strongly believe that it was not. The bombings which have occurred are a violation of human rights as far as we the Pazhujebis are concerned, and I can speak for the Pazhujebi government when I say that if the nations of Casari or Daehanjeiguk need assistance in the difficult recovery ahead, we shall be humbly there for them.

Signed,

High Governor of the Republic, Commander of the Praetorian, Majority Leader of the Pazhujebi Imperial Senate, and Spokeswoman for the Pazhujebi Imperial Commission
Pehemastia Aqhorassi

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%201.PNG

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Tertius Shajarrayam

Diojiuan Penalty Gives Islanders a Seed, Lucky Break After Home Defeat

Although the Purple Turbans of the Pazhujeb Islands national football team looked quite sensational at times, the Psychychoes of Squornshelous were simply too much to withstand for the young guns of Atlantian Oceania.

It was immediately apparent that Squornshelous were not going to hold anything back even though they had already clinched first place in the group. In one of the fastest goals scored in World Cup history, Squornshelous striker Sykko sliced through the Pazhujebi defense and beat Amutarrad with an ugly but effective toe poke into the upper right corner. One nil Squornshelous.

Things only got worse when, in the third minute, defensive midfielder Parokshara began calling to the bench, complaining of his right ankle. He has been struggling with a severe sprain throughout most of the Ivheshbu A season with K'arasi, and it appears something that occurred in the game worsened the injury. He had to be replaced by young spark Aseem Chenab.

The Pazhujebis managed to stay in the game, however, thanks in part to a showcase performance by disgruntled striker Chaya Vuhumkara. There is absolutely no doubt in our minds here at Eenadu that he is worth what he is claiming to be worth in front of the international community during his transfer drama. Vuhumkara's 65th minute goal sent Zhevassi fans that have eternally disliked him (as he had played for two of Zhevvasi ZL's great rivals, Kuratmad and Lammachi, during his short career) into cheering revelation.

He also drew a penalty in the 73rd minute, which Lissama converted easily to bring the scoreline to its final status of four three. Vuhumkara did receive a yellow card for dissent in the 84th minute, as he felt that Squornshelous defender Kolodny should have been cautioned: the Psychychoe was not. Fans dismissed this during and after the match, saying they were just glad to see Vuhumkara trying his best.

But Pav Panithaj's 87th minute sending off for a second yellow seemed to seal the deal for Squornshelous. The red card encapsulated all of the Islanders failures during the match, as scoring three goals ought to have brought them a win but did not.

On the bright side, however, World Cup 40 hosts Krytenia and Starblaydia have fined Group 4 competitor and vampire-infested nation of Diojiu 80 points. Although other reasons were cited by the two host nations to justify the Diojiuan censure, we at Eenadu suspect that their transgressions against the Pazhujebi national team during the Matchday 3 game may have had something to do with it. (Incidentally, Herodotusam Guvidhipa, a striker who was bitten by a vampire in that match, has been recovering and made a brief appearance at the end of the Squornshelous game; he looked sharp.)

At any rate, the Sea Urchins have snatched the second spot in Group 4, giving them a seeded playoff spot (that is to say, they were drawn against a team which finished in third). The draw awarded the Pazhujeb Islands the small island nation of Jariss, who are also looking for their first ever World Cup finals appearance. One of the teams will grace the greatest tournament of them all for the first time, this is the only thing that is for certain.

Manager Jaime Oberlander, whose testimonial match, as it were, is scheduled to take place soon, and was intended to be his last ever match with the team (this obviously will change if the Urchins qualify), was brief about the situation when he spoke to the press:

"I'm not proud of it, but we got what we were looking for when Diojiu was fined. I'm not proud at all. That's all there is to it... when you back into a seeded playoff spot by losing two straight it concerns a lot of people, chiefly, the manager. I believe we are capable, very capable, of defeating Jariss, but I think we got rather lucky."

Asked what he thought specifically about the Jariss tie, Oberlander said:

"Great defensive side. I would say that I think their strikers are rather subpar but there is no doubt that Vuhumkara, Ghur, those guys... they are really going to have their work cut out for them against that Jariss back line. Tali Vindu is someone who I would look out for as well, she has been a rock in goal for Jariss in the past... we are really going to have to throw a lot of men forward in these two matches if we want to score goals.

Asked what he planned to do about Parokshara's injury and Panithaj's suspension, Oberlander said:

"I expect you will all be pleased to see more of Aseem Chenab in the midfield... as for who will come in to replace Panithaj for the one match, I haven't decided yet."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png Pazhujeb Islands 3
Amutarrad; Tushambanda (Bicharna 64'), Lissama, Idarha, and Rha; Parokshara (Chenab 5'), Abadhyash, Quridheru (Guvidhipa 84'), and Ghur; Panithaj and Vuhumkara

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/squornshelous.png Squornshelous 4
Maric; Oivanen, Tikkanen (Sakhalinsk 90+1'), and Kolodny; Marivych (Hanson 64'), Vendelin, Prpic, and Tkermec; Kurka (Valentinin 75'), Sykko, and Cvecej

Referee: Fábio Luís Miykazashi Schneider (Cafundeu)

Goalscorers-
TPI: Chenab 20', Vuhumkara 65', Lissama 74' (penalty)
SQN: Sykko 1' and 60', Tkermec 59', Prpic 69'

Matchday 1: Beer Served Here - Pazhujeb Islands (1-3 W)
Matchday 2: Pazhujeb Islands - The Archregimancy (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 3: Diojiu - Pazhujeb Islands (2-0 L)
Matchday 4: Pazhujeb Islands - Kolanderaz (@ K'arasiam Sarvatobhav in Pkethat Hevnaje) (3-2 W)
Matchday 5: Squornshelous - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Vogsphere Arena in Vogsphere) (3-2 L)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Holy Empire (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 6: Pazhujeb Islands - Beer Served Here (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (4-0 W)
Matchday 7: The Archregimancy - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Peaceful Woodland Glade in the Dreamed Realm) (3-1 L)
Matchday 8: Pazhujeb Islands - Diojiu (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (2-0 W)
Matchday 9: Kolanderaz - Pazhujeb Islands (3-1 L)
Matchday 10: Pazhujeb Islands - Squornshelous (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi) (3-4 L)
Playoff 1: Jariss - Pazhujeb Islands
Playoff 2: Pazhujeb Islands - Jariss (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)
Post-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Starblaydia (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%202.PNG

Alas, all good things must come to an end.

But not till tomorrow. For now, this is simply your First Leg Play Off Cut Off.

Starblaydia Play In Black
SDB mourned, armbands and applause requested

Paul Noble of the Starblaydi Football Association revealed today the kits that Starblaydia would wear in the World Cup Finals. For the first time ever, Starblaydia would play in black as their first choice kit. For over a hundred years, the first choice kit for senior, women's and youth teams has always been white with purple trim. This time, however, it will be black with purple trim.

"After consultation with the manager, players, fans and SFA officials, as well as the Di Bradini family," Paul Noble, Starblaydia's most-capped player, said at the unveiling, "we have decided that, as opposed to black armbands, Starblaydia will play almost entirely in black for their first choice kit. The second choice kit, however, will revert to the traditional white and purple."

White is the colour, traditionally, of both purity and death and is inspired by the white lion, Starblaydia's national animal that frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests. Black is, as common in many countries, the colour of mourning, as well as being the uppermost stripe of the Starblaydi tricolour.

The SFA today requested a minute's applause at the beginning of all Matchday One games in the World Cup to commemorate Simeone Di Bradini's life. It was felt that it would not be fitting to remember a man who inspired so much cheering and celebration in his career by remaining silent. Teams entering World Cup 40's Finals are also requested to wear black armbands, though this is by no means compulsory.

This landmark Starblaydi kit is shown below:


Kit created by:
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ediraflogo.jpg
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/NewThird.gif

Betanii Marrones also unveiled her squad of twenty-three today. After the 4th Di Bradini Cup, 1st Turtle Cup, 4th Oriental Football Cup and 22nd AOCAF were used as training and audition grounds for this squad, the full list can be found here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13602909&postcount=61). Starblaydia's starting eleven and formation can be found below.

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/StarWC40Black.jpg

The Unaclaimed Newspaper

We've proved it, We suck

Today in a blasted home game with 100s of thousand Tae fans looking on we couldnt even beat those damn Monopolists of Cafundeu. We lost 3-2, I mean seriously this is the best Purple Knights squad ever put together, but we still wont make it to the Cup.

Well in the game back after sustaining his injury in the third qualifying game Brian Ying Uimg picked up right were he left of with a goal in the 19th minute to lead the game. But the soccer gods ment us to lose it asthe injury ridden in the last to cups,Tad Montague, at goal, fell after a vain attempt to stop a shot. He's out for the rest of the year till the probable CoH entranc for the Knights., The Mono's would then score two more goals on backup Joey Reunion, who is known for his loses. Well anyway the game ended on a psoitive note as the Knight striker, John Kitna, struck yet again. But it was hopeless so we lost.

Anyways next week we play the very same Monopolist team, but in Cafundeu. So don't expect anything good to come out of it with a probable 5-1 loss coming. Unless we beat them by 1 which would heat things up substantially making a shootout. But don't hold your breath we'll lose, and i strongly discourage fans from going to the game because well we'll lose.

We’re always the first to blame yet always the last line. It takes an entire match to make a hero out of us, yet only one mistake to demonize us for eternity. I watch and wait, I cannot run and help with the offence I cannot leave my sacred duty as a guardian of the gates. I wait.

The ball was coming. The opponents tricked the midfielders and managed to push past the defence, a glitch between Valgaav and Valleha, Bora was too slow and the ball is coming my way. I know what corner the attacker is going for. Will I reach it in time?

-

I don’t understand it. Until now so few managed to pass me and my line, yet now I find myself responsible for many of the goals my team received. The pressure on my shoulders just keeps growing. If they get pass me then only Ave stands before them. Another goal, another chance lost. I don’t like it.

He’s coming, I can see him now. He got pass me once, I failed at my task and in the first match we paid the price. No, the pressure won’t make me fail again, “That’s the end of the road for you!” the ball heads out.

-

We’re getting back into synch. We’ve played so little together and it shows. The bitter matches in the Yaforite League kept us in touch, but when it comes to working together we forgot so much. We were once individuals thinking as one now we barely managed to coordinate ourselves. But something changed.

I can hear Ave shouting behind me, Bora intercepted another ball, it’s heading towards me now, I see they’re trying to take it from me. I hold on to it. Ah, he’s free, the ball spins rapidly.

-

It’s strange the past few weeks were the hardest yet for me yet I’m not tired at all, my heart’s pumping with excitement asking for more. The thrill of the competition, the suspense, I want more, I want more!

The ball came my way, Valgaav spotted me in time but the opponents aren’t going to be that easy. I take a look around, should I push it? I’m fast enough, but then I see the look in Rigel’s eyes, he saw a way.

-

Controlling the game, the name of the trade, I haven’t done the best of jobs lately and I failed my team. They might not say it, but I see the looks some of them throw at me. What can I do, I am only human! Yet, the coach taught me there is more to this. I failed to understand that I’m not alone on the field, that not everything revolves around me, but now, as I see Zaren’s enthusiasm about the game, I understand.

I look at him, he knows I want the ball, but will he endure to do it? He did, despite my attitude so far, he passed the ball, a short, precise pass, almost as good as my own. This gesture means more than I’d want it to mean, they still trust me. I won’t waste this.

-

Something’s changed in the flow. Before we were just a couple of individuals trying to play on the same field, now the entire team is working together. It’s only too unfortunate that it had to happen now as we face life or death on the field, but I suppose it’s better late than never. I’ve waited too long for this.

Rigel’s pass was perfect. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from him, I push forward, dodging an opponent, I can’t afford a dribble, not yet, not here, I move forward.

-

The goal’s what I am. I never liked defending or making various plays, all I wanted to do was put them in the net. But there’s no place for egotistical players on a team as I learned the hard way. It too them time to break the habit out of me, but they managed. I see Rigel finally understood the same, Alma’s obviously happy about it, hard to notice unless you know him.

He just dodged another opponent, but he won’t be able to do that forever. He can’t force his way any longer, but with his incursion dead right on the middle, I’m awfully unwatched. Yes, the ball came my way, and now, now only the net is to be next. I dribble the player marking me, I try getting a shot, but… I pass away the ball.

-

I force my way ahead. They try snatching the ball from me, but they rarely manage, yet now, I barely got the chance to touch the ball. He never shares, just like a kid with a new toy. I doubt it would end good if I confronted him about it, but the coach insists on placing us together on the offense. He must know something I don’t, but we’re losing matches!

And Perri prepares to shoot yet again, he’s surrounded and the goalkeeper watches him like a hawk. Will he make it? I do… wait, the ball’s coming my way, he passed it. Finally. I lift my foot and shoot; I don’t bother arranging the ball. Will it enter the net? There’s no way I can miss from this distance. These seconds are full of agony, ecstasy and despair wait. A blink of an eye and it’s done.

-

You’re crazy. I lost count of how many told me that when I chose to train the Aleosites. There’s no lost love between the two nations, history taking its toll and many were surprised about my decision. Was it the right one to make? I knew the answer to that one the moment I was greeted at the airport. True, they disliked my Yaforite heritage, but they respected me for my skills and it showed, they value what I can do more than they’ll ever value what was done or who I am. And they work hard. They never bothered with a national team and it shows, they lacked experience and were unprepared for the rigours of competition. Perhaps I should have waited a bit more? No, they have the talent needed and experience is gained only by playing matches.

They’re tense, I can feel that as I enter the locker room. It’s been a tight match and all depends on this. Will they return home? Will they go forward? There’s only 45 minutes left and their heads are full of questions. Only now they realize the stakes.

“Good job out there,” a praise, they deserved it more than ever today, “You have in you what it takes to win this one,” words of advice, nothing new, “It’s only up to you to play to the fullest of your abilities, but tonight it’s your defining moment as a team,” a bit of urgency in my voice, “You won’t get to play more matches at this cup if you lose this one!” they raise their heads, none of them want to head home, “Go out there and prove to me, prove to the world and the folks watching at home that you are a team worthy of being here!” motivational speeches are wonderful for riling people up, I wonder how many of them even realize what a determined look they gained. “So, now that you’re awake and not acting like a bunch of senile elderly like you did until now,” he joked for a bit, “And I made sure that the food was exactly what you needed, I don’t want any excuses more likely to be used by toddlers, got that?” if getting them motivated doesn’t work, always embarrass them. One of the two will get them rolling. He had no way of knowing if this was the end of their presence here.

Jeruselem Government News

Bike consoles Qazox after Pheonix lose to Prux

Jeruselem's new Ambassador to Qazox, Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas, who left her homeland Ariddia recently arrive in Qazox today. News had just come of the Pheonix had lost 1-2 to Prux in the first playoff game for qualification.

Dazza Dallas put on a Pheonix jumper and said
"Jeruselem put their support behind Qazox making the finals. I know it hurts losing to Prux but I know Qazox can bounce back to make it. Our boys in Jeru FC lost 2-3 to the Han but we didn't expect them to win that one. Qazox can make it, all they need is a bit of luck and determination. They have 1 goal deficit to overcome, but 1 goal isn't much. It's easier to concede goals than score them, and we all know one stupid mistake can make all the difference. So I still think Qazox can dig themselves out of this hole. Our Jeru FC boys played well but lost. With a bit of luck, I think they can make it. They can score goals but their defense sucks generally. But then they are an army team, they don't like defending - they prefer to be attacking."

With that Dazza left the airport with an army of fans following her.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Casari off to Krytenia for friendly
Sporting effort to benefit victims as massive anti-Han sentiment fills nation

The National team is off to Krytenia, after an invitation was recieved to play a benefit match dedicated to the victims of the bombings committed by Han separatist groups which their government continually refuses to control. The team was unable for comment about either the situation or the match, but a statement released by the CSA voiced the hope for the peaceful completion of the World Cup and that those responsible would be brought to justice.

The flurry of activity for Casaran Civil Protection and Rescue forces continued, as security footage allowed the identification and arrest of a number of individuals believed to be involved in the bombings. Reaction and praise of the efforts of both forces were swift in coming, as both were credited with saving a large number of lives in the ensuing chaos after the blasts.

Statements have also come from the government, taking an extreme policy voiced first by a number of conservative radio pundits and which picked up steam with a vast majority of the population. The Deportation plan, as currently stated, would currently apply to anyone of Han descent in a move many are decrying as racist and discriminatory. However, support came swiftly as well, with a main National Conservative MP stating that "If a people can't live here with any measure of peace, we do not want them here at all." The plan continued with both import and immigration bans, which are already being enforced through one of the largest deployments of Naval and Air Force assets in the last quarter century.

The timetable for both parts of the plan are rather fluid at the moment, but it is believed that the first of the deportation boats could depart as soon as the start of next week.

THE ROCKET REPORT

ROCKETS FALL IN PLAYOFF CLASSIC

Loudon, Newmanistan- Playing in front of a sold out crowd at Loudon Stadium on a big day in Newmanistan sports as a whole, the Empire and Bostopia played a truly entertaining game of football. Unfortunately for the Rockets, this event did not end as well as the other major event being held in Tundra Falls for the Empire. For more though on Newmanistan’s Erica Phillips dominant OBIRA triumph at the Proving Grounds, please go to the racing section.

There was some thought on hosting the race and the football match both at the Proving Grounds at the same time but given the international level and significance of both events, it was determined that they should not be at the same venue. In Pocono City, with Newmanistan’s baseball team playing their most bitter rival Brightonburg Blue Sox (for more on Brightonburg’s extra inning victory please see the baseball section), it was determined that that too would not be the best city for the match, so ultimately, they decided on here in Loudon, giving three of Newmanistan’s biggest cities a major international event on the same day.

In Loudon, Newmanistan looked to continue their winning ways against the 24th ranked team in the world, Bostopia, and the two offensively minded teams put on an absolutely great show. With the teams exchanging scoring opportunities left and right, all over the pitch in the early minutes, both goalkeepers Kevin Dalton and Brian Adder were absolutely brilliant. So much for a “feeling out” process early in the match. No, these two clubs both wanted that first goal, and wanted it quickly. In the 22nd minute, Richard Sadler delivered a powerful blast from about twenty five yards, who’s arc seemed to fool Dalton a little bit as it found the back of the net to put the Bostopians up 1-nil early. Ten minutes later though, the Rockets struck back as John Murphy, who very quietly has had a great qualifying tournament scored when Adder couldn’t quite control the rebound on a shot by Jeremy Brooker, who somewhat uncharacteristically joined the offensive rush. The game went to halftime all tied up at one.

The second half began much like the first half with both teams aggressively going on the offense and again Dalton and Adder being tested and delivering high quality saves. Both teams seemed to really be enjoying the style of play and so did the fans. Eventually though, Bostopia would go back in front with Sadler again making an outstanding play, this time with a brilliant pass to Lukas Plecnik, who had a half step on Mark McCafferty along the wing. Plecnik’s shot was stopped by a diving Dalton, but Kevin could not control the rebound, and it landed right on to foot of Freddie Gronfeld who simply had to deposit it into the open net, which he did. The goal came in the 75th minute. Bostopia tried to play conservative and defensive, but the Rockets would not allow them to have much possession. Newmanistan carried the play, and in the 89th minute, a most dramatic goal scored by Jeremy McAllister tied the game up at two, and thus the game appeared to be about to end in a draw. However, no one told Bostopia. Here we think the experience of the Bostopians really played a significant factor. As Newmanistan seemed to be settled in, Bostopia saw the opportunity to deliver a damaging blow, and in the second minute of stoppage time, they found themselves in a prime scoring opportunity, and Plecnik beat Dalton to the top left corner for the game winner. Bostopia wins a 3-2 battle, setting themselves up nicely for the game on their home turf but the Underdogs of Newmanistan are still going to put up a valiant fight. It should be good!

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

PLAYOFF MATCH ONE: @ Prux

The Pheonix are back up against the proverbial wall following a 2-1 loss at previously lightly regarded Prux. The loss means that Qazox HAS to win the rematch at home by at least two goals or by the score of 1-0 to advance. If the score is 2-1 in favor of the Pheonix, then a shootout will take place or if the Pheonix win by a goal and allow Prux to score more than 2 goals, Prux will advance on the away goals rule.

Kallie Jaus did get the team off to a good start, scoring in the 21st minute, but two goals from Chris "J7Y" Jerusalem, in the 65th and 72nd minutes gave the Prawns the late win.

The loss marks the first ever Playoff loss for Qazox, who had only played in one other such match, 20 years ago, a 2-1 win over The HURD, which started the current streak of 5 consecutive World Cup appearances for the Pheonix.

In somewhat related news, Jeruselem's Ambassador to Qazox, Dazza Dallas, bane of our old Women's World Cup teams and our World Cup 35 team, is openly rooting for Qazox to advance.

As we all know, Qazox is forever cursed for continuing the notion of the abysmal practice of separate World Cups for men and women, to the point of almost being banned by the WCC from participating in the World Cup itself. The WWC was offically disbanded just before the beginning of the qualifiers for World Cup 35, and ever since, Qazox has always made the World Cup, but has not yet advanced past the group stage in any of those appearances.


QAZOX SCORING:
Kallie Jaus- 8 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 6
Renna Valladores- 5
Stevie Spingler- 2
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Jeffie Huhman- 1


SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia L 1-2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan W 2-1 QSPN2 (5-1-2)
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. W 3-1 QSPN2 (6-1-2) CLINCHED PLAYOFF BERTH
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) L 1-5 QSPN (6-1-3)

PLAYOFFS:
@ Prux 1900 Local time (21:30 QST) QSPN L 1-2
vs. Prux @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) 17:30 QST QSPN

It was always going to be hard, Kura-Pelland was a good team, and the Bazalopes needed to make the best of the situation at home. However a minor clerical error lead to the wrong stadium being announced for the game, and as everyone reacted trying to get the news out there to everyone that the game is actually else where. Many Bazalonian fans turned up to the wrong Venue only to be turned away.

This left a gapping whole in the stands at CBBC Dome as the Kura-Pellandi team walked onto the stadium. The fans that were there were out-numbered and out vocalised by the Kura-Pellandi supporters, who enjoyed a rather weird display of friendly rivalry. Perhaps this match was more suited to a smaller venue, but 2-0 is a major accomplishment and the Bazalopes qualification hopes seem all but smashed.

~~~

Meanwhile in some court somewhere in Fauxhan, a trial was being held.
"This is Docket #5272345... 7625873. The commonwealth vs. Dundee." The court bailiff spoke as he handed some documents to the presiding judge.. Everyone was standing as was the protocol. "You may be seated... Mr Dundee, you have been charged with 5 of counts of 'Match Fixing', and 2 counts of theivery how do you plead?"

"Not Guilty, on all counts." A general murmur from the crowd errupted as they wondered how he was going to get out of this, meanwhile. A man stood up "You Fargin Icehole, you somanumbatching cork-soaker... ... ..." a parade of words continued to come out of the mouth but the sake of the audience, we've turned the sound off.

*sound on* -ers" *big breath* "F... *sound off* ... *sound on*. Can somebody remove this man from my court and please fix up the sound issues!"

2 Bailiffs grabbed the man named Roman Moroni and dragged him out of the court-room. Still murdering the english language as he went...

The NationStates Inquisition: Yafanironia and Bazire 2

Now even more confused than ever.

One of the things that happens when you are not sure of your own identity is that you can easily get confused with other identities who can be seen as similiar.

No one really know what happened but it seemed that each team went to a fight and a footy match broke out. No-one is really sure who scored what, infact many people don't even who's playing on the Nire and Nire team.

.. one goal was attributed by the referee to Yafalonia and Bazor 2 while 2 goals were atributted to Nire and Nire giving hopes for Y&B2's first outing to the WC Finals proper a major set back.

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 3-2
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) --- (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)

FUNERAL FOR TERROR VICTIMS

http://www.sempervita.org/WindowsLiveWriter/South%20Korean%20Families.jpg

HANGYEONG - The Imperial Squad played a critical match against the Army Team of Jeruselem - called Jeru FC - and won away. It was a tense match, overshadowed by funeral processions for nearly 700 victims of the terrorist attack in Casari. The funeral procession in the capital featured a funeral march starting at Cheonanmun Square (ooc: RL Tiananmen Square) and arriving at Sanhaemun (ooc: RL Shanhaiguan, the eastern end of the Great Wall of China, where the wall reaches the sea). Ashes from 289 of the victims, whose remains were voluntarily surrendered by the families for a state funeral. The Emperor, standing in funeral attire, helped scatter the ashes with the families. Following the scattering, the Emperor addressed a crowd of some 50,000 visitors to the Pass:

Troubling times bring families together more so than peaceful times. It is under duress that we find our strength, and as a civilization, we have endured the ages. However, among our own people, they find reason to dispute this happiness that the Han have found, wishing instead to revolt and establish a new order. Why destroy the ways of our ancestors, who have taught us valuable learns that endure the ages? For freedom? Freedom from what? We are free people, and as long as we are troubled, we shall never surrender our freedom as the children of Han. For we are free to live in harmony with our selves, and we are free to live in harmony with each other. In truth, it is they who suffer the penances of oppression, by the very ideals that they seek. To abolish order is to abolish harmony; in due, they seek to end freedom.

And they have ended the lives of these citizens. Circumstance has made them martyrs, but in the end, they died as true Han. It is a tragedy that they died at the hands of cowards, who gave them no opportunity to face them directly and defend themselves. They chose the quick and easy way, the way that they preach in their ideology; and in the end, these terrorists become less human for every terrorist act that they accomplish. But for these whom we have laid to rest, scattered their seed upon the land and sea, their journey in the next life begins. And whether by Heaven or their place of sanctuary, let us hope that they too find peace with their oppressors in death. For let me assure you, as long as these terrorists are alive, we shall give them no rest until their actions are answered by the justice that is due for the many more killed to their ideals. We cannot rest and will not rest until they are all surrendered to justice and civility. For the Han do not cower, and we do not hide from our enemies; we stand to them and shout, "Here we are! Come to us and deal with us!" So far, the enemy has left us unanswered.

This is a troubling time, and families must be together to recognize and recall what goodness we have before us. Therefore, in recognition of the dead and their sacrifice, no citizen is obliged to satisfy any labor requirements for the next 24 hours. We must the dead our peace, and then return to life to restore the honor lost.

The Emperor was later seen riding away in a car. Citizens have taken the calls for no labor very lightly, as many still returned to work. Among those that heeded the calls, a number of families went to the mountains to the family graves, either to tend them or add one among them. In all, today has been a day of mourning. Funeral services have been offered in temples of all denominations across the Empire. In Daoist temples, incense was burned. In Buddhist monasteries, monks led their followers in mediative prayers. In Christian cathedrals, masses and special services were held. In Islamic mosques, prayer masters were seen at the towers calling people to prayers, remembering also the names of all 747 victims. Animists told stories to the people about how the dead would avenge their loss; atheists told people about how it was a terrible thing to have terrorists try to do bad things to good people; anarchists were summarily arrested and sent to jails before local mobs could organize and "deal with them."

Among the dead include 3 members of the Imperial Squad - Kim Yongdae, the goalkeeper playing Cafundeu's Clube Imperial; Son Daeho, the midfielder from Gwangdong; and Wang Shinheun, the defender from Hanseong. A special memorial was performed for the players before the match in Jeruselem; a special service is expected for the players upon the return trip to Hangyeong. For a complete list of the dead - including the names of Casarans killed, as released by the Casaran government - is available at the MBC main website.

Casari announces deportation plan

Following the Mujeongbu attack - the deadliest attack for a long time - and the subsequent anti-Han sentiment among Casaran citizens, the Casarn government has announced plans to return ethnic Han citizens to their country of origin. While many people have hailed this as "racist" or "discriminatory", the Ministry of Foreign Affairs replied saying, "...while this policy does not directly address the problem of xenophobia in Casari, we do feel that it is an appropriate reaction, considering the opportunity to catch the perpetrators. We therefore wish to submit to Casaran authorities a plan to contact the Imperial Ministry of Domestic Affairs - via the Foreign Affairs Ministry - concerning the deportation of any ethnic Han, regardless of their country of origin. In this manner, we can sort the criminals from the innocent. And for those who are Casaran natives, the Han Empire is willing to take home their prodigal children until the situation in Casari calms. All citizens and ethnic Han not compensated by the Casaran government will be compensated by the Han Empire if they arrive here."

Members of the Imperial Assembly were irate over this release. One member reputedly professed - "Are we submit to the laws of Casari? No! Perhaps the Mujeongbu are right killing Casaran citizens - and it's only a pity that Han citizens had to be killed in the process." The man was summarily escorted out of the Assmebly Building and sent to the police station for interrogation. A number of web blogs were also discontented at the Han Empire apparently "cowering to the demands of a weak and barbaric nation." A number of other websites nonetheless expressed support: "If the Mujeongbu are out to exact revenge upon the Empire, perhaps it's better for us to receive all of our overseas families, to keep them safe. After all, most foreigners don't care about us anyway, so it's not like it's a huge loss for them."

More news as it comes...

Samseong announces its bid for construction contract in Pazhujeb Islands

Samseong Heavy Industries announced it intention to run a bid for the construction of a new football stadium in the Pazhujeb Islands. After having lost out in the contracts at the AIC (Agency for Imperial Contracts) on the construction of the Cha Beumgeun Memorial Football Stadium to Hyeondae Heavy Industries, the industry competitors decides to go abroad and seek out a foreign contract there.

"This is our biggest leap yet. We've had phenomenal growth in the Empire, but as development starts to run high, we're going to need to look overseas for more opportunities," commented one of Samseong's PR executives. "The Pazhujeb Islands are a fantastic opportunity, and present projections highlight the Islands as a hotspot for investments. We'd figure we should help out."

The deal has not been worked out and details are limited, but it is expected that construction plan would include several deals, including using local workers and products to build the stadium, bringing in Samseong contractors to help engineer the development, training local workers to become better engineers and architects, and perhaps even allowances for the establishment of Samseong's first foreign office. Of course, the final deal has not been released, and it remains uncertain if the Pazhujeb Islands will accept this offer.

SIC - that's Secret! Not Silly

皇 - Emperor
外 - Marquis Pak Yu (Foreign Affairs Minister)
軍 - Marquis Yi Jongmu (Defense Minister)
事 - Marquis Yi Jangho (Domestic Affairs Minister)
政 - Marquis Jang Jeonggu (Finance Minister)
花郞 - Duke Weon Gwang (Head of the Hwarang)

*riding car back to the Imperial City*

皇: I had to spend 6 hours spreading the ashes of my people into the Balhae Sea! Do you have any idea how infuriating this is to me?

花郞: Emperor, we have agents in Casari right now. I think that it's fortuitous for us to use our agents to help the Casarans interrogate these anarchists. If we're lucky we'll get information.

皇: I don't want answers. I want justice. Besides, the Casarans will just try to deport our agents.

花郞: Justice will get you these men today. But information will get you eternal harmony. Trust me. Tell the Foreign Affairs Ministry to request Han interrogators to accompany the Casarans in for interrogation. We know who our men are, so there's no risk that they'll go suicidal and blow up the place.

皇: I have the dust of my people on my hands. I need justice.

花郞: The Art of War teaches us patience to strike when the time is right. Spies to be employed to full extent and expose our enemies. Right now, they are hidden. We must find them and bring them out. Once we have this, they will be powerless against us. And then, we will have justice for the Han and for Casari.

皇: Do you think that I really care about Casari right now? We don't even have relations!

花郞: Perhaps, this could be an opportunity to extend relations?

皇: I doubt it. That means sending Han citizens there.

花郞: Open dialogue tends all wounds, no matter how deep. No dialogue bottles it up until it breaks. We need more friends. And if we can in fact get these people to cooperate with us instead of ignore us, maybe we can together avert the next disaster instead of making heroes out of common folk?

皇: *thinks* I'll have the Count (Han Seungsu) send a message. I don't guarantee that it will do anything.

花郞: Trying is better than not. If the Casarans have any sense, they will accept it.


SIC Message

TO CASARAN GOVERNMENT AND PROPER AUTHORITIES-

The Celestial Regency of the Great Han Empire first sends its sincerest condolences for the tragedy that has gripped your country. While citizens from both our lands have perished, it is obvious that your country has suffered the greater cost. In due, we wish to help contribute to the reconstruction in sending your country a sum of 4,000,000,000圓. A modest sum, we hope that it helps cover some of the costs associated with the clean-up, the reconstruction, the salaries, and the compensation of the dead and injured as well. We are also planning a general fund for the compensation of the victims, although reserved primarily for Han citizens, we will certainly supply compensation for Casaran citizens of extreme need.

In this time of great calamity, we are also aware that our countries do not presently have formal relations, in spite of numerous casual contacts, mostly associated with football (among other things). In lieu of this, we feel that nurturing foreign relations with Casari is in our interests and we hope that in spite of the damages that you feel that nurturing relations with the Han is also in your interests. We do not need to establish any embassy exchange presently, although it can certainly be arranged.

Furthermore, in recognition of the responsibility of ethnic Han persons responsible for the calamitous attacks in Casari, the Ministry of Domestic Affairs has commissioned a number of Han agents to accompany Casaran interrogators to interrogate the suspects and test their affiliations to the Mujeongbu organization. We feel that their presence will on the one hand offer an opportunity to extract more information and as well as to make things easier for your interrogators. Additionally, a number of our agents are good persuaders; we are sure that this can come in handy. Considering as any members of the Mujeongbu do not any citizenship in the Han Empire (and to some extent, they aren't recognized as human beings), we have no reason nor desire to extradite these criminals to the Han Empire. Once we are done collecting intelligence and information from the Mujeongbu prisoners, you are free to dispose of them in any manner as you please, humane or otherwise. But please make sure that you get as much information them as possible; we don't want to miss anything.

We hope that all goes well for you in the coming days, and that this calamity will help forge close ties, as we do realize that it is necessary for us to work together than apart.

On Behalf of His Imperial Majesty, the Gwangmu Emperor:

Count Han Seungsu
韓昇洙伯
http://http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/foreign.png



Goal Scorers
10 - Jeong Jihun
4 - Kim Daeeui
3 - Baek Jihun
2 - Song Jongguk, Yi Dongguk, Yi Yeongpyo
1 - Kim Byeongji, An Pilrip, Yi Eulyong, Hong Myeongbo[/QUOTE]

World Cup Dreams Alive

Nire and Nire are on the verge of qualification for their first world cup proper after a 2-1 victory in the home leg. Asked for comment, many people on the streets of the nations capital Sentu were unaware that the mighty Bulls were even involved in qualifying. local bag man said "what? you got any change?"

In other news, here is a recap of today's headlines:

"Stock market crashes, four injured"

"Suicide bomber planned multiple attacks"

"Local Mayor rigs elections, is beaten at ballot"

"Pet cat, Tabby, rescued from tree"

(The team arrives in Bostopia, and meets in the locker room before going out on the pitch for training).

Carson: Well guys this is it. Qualification is on the line, but I just want you all to know that I am proud of each and every one of you.

Underdog: Bark!

Carson: Yes, you too! We’ve come a long, long way not just in our comeback to make the playoff, but I mean as an entire Empire. Look at us now. When we first found out we were going to try our hand in World Cup qualifying, we were laughed at by a lot of our own people, and the world just looked at us as “hey look another first timer” and dismissed us.

(Players nod and start getting pumped up).

Carson: Since then we’ve gone on to achieve some great things including the Baptism of Fire Championship. The world well, they might not all fear us yet, but we’ve put ourselves on their radar anyways. Football in the Empire is achieving its highest ratings ever. You were all innovators for Newmanistan and we should be proud of that.

Several Players: That’s right!

Carson: Everyone gather round. Chris (Merrill), get me Underdog.

(Merrill retrieves the poodle and hands it to the coach)

Carson: You know the drill, everyone with a hand to Underdog. We know what the task at hand is today. We must beat Bostopia by two on their turf. Its not going to be easy but remember all the pressure is on them. They’re at home. They’re expected to qualify. It’s not a matter of maybe we can for them, its an expectation. They don’t want to choke on their home turf to a nation making their first qualification attempt. That’s a whole lot of pressure. There’s nothing on us. Nothing! We weren’t expected to qualify, but here we are. Here with this golden opportunity. Everyone relax, play your game, have fun, and when they make mistakes let us capitalize. We can do this. Rockets on three, one, two....

Team: Rockets!!

Underdog: Bark!

Novak (the 38 year old veteran reserve): Hey guys I know I’ve been quiet and absorbing so much in, but I just want to reiterate what coach said. They have everything to play for. We can catch them in mistakes, we have the speed to do so, if they were perfect they wouldn’t be in this playoff. Who cares about their ranking.

Lewis: This is all true, let us keep our composure, and survive the early portions of the match. The longer we contain them, the more prone they become to making mistakes. If we can then strike for that first goal, this crowd is going to get very antsy and add more pressure to their side, because for them, qualification is expected. And we can capitalize a second time.

McAllister: Damn right we can do this!

Chapman: But if we don’t, we’re in the Cup of Harmony. Which for us is a lot more acceptable then it is for Bostopia. Let’s feed off that. Don’t worry about what they do. Worry about ourselves, and just maybe, we sneak into that World Cup and send them to the Cup of Harmony!

Lewis: We know we can beat them, we almost did at home. They don’t scare me.

McAllister: They shouldn’t scare any of us! I’m sure the World Cup would love to have its Baptism of Fire champion in, so lets go and make it happen.

Carson: Excellent, let’s go do some training!

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Purple Is The New Black

THE Krytenian Football Association announced yesterday that the side will be wearing special purple armbands for the forthcoming match against Casari. The armbands, inscribed with the legend "SDB10", are being worn in memory of Starblaydi legend, Simeone Di Bradini.

The players will also wear a black ribbon on their chests to commemorate the tragedy in Casari.

Andrew Coulter stepped upto the microphone one more time, he was used to doing so, after all he always gave the media a report on just how he thought the World Cup qualifications go, just that most mainstream media ignore him. However there was different. He had to finally produce the kits that the teams would be using, should they by some miracle beat Kura-Pelland away and get enough goals to win on GD or away goals.

They needed to get 3 goals if they had any chance of progressing, but that is neither here nor there.

"Due to the, uh, incident in Casari we'll be wearing a blank band in memorial to those that lost their lives."

2 models neither of them real soccer players got on the stage and pranced around black band going around the mid-section.

"What's with the un-orthodox placement, aren't those things meant to be arm-bands."

"Uh .... usually yes, but not in this case... then something most unusually happened the model (yes, this was a male model) triped over something and fell down breaking the black band around his waist.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/BAZ40.png

"Yes, well now do you see why?"

"Are, you saying that you purposefully placed the black strip there to block the sponsors logo? That is the Logo of the Bostopian Tourist Board is it not?"

"It is the Bostopian Tourist Board Logo but no... that was just a co-incidence... now unfortunately I've got a plane to catch to Kura-pelland... Bye..."

When somebody asks "Do you want a muffin?". You better ask "Is it Big Joe's?"

Big Joe's, is one of the most respected Bakeries in all of Bazor 2. Located in a run down and frankly quite shady part of Mt. Jonasdown. Big Joes attracts thousands of people to make the trek from all over Yafalonia & Bazor 2 to it's quite large and well maintained premisis in contrast to the area.

Big Joe is the main cheif and is quite a funny character, he happily chats to the customers while whipping up a batch of muffins, kneading the dough for bread or doing what you do for other baked goods. One of the things he's known for is frequently wiping his nose while mixing up a batch of whatever he was cooking at the time, but don't worry. A snotty muffin is the least of your worries, his muffins are made from no less than 4 deadly and toxic materials which include, uranium pellets that he got from an old army dump. Roof Tile Shavings (on the days that the shops shut you can usually see him on the roofs of buildings neraby literally shaving tiles), Red Dye #2 (don't laugh, this dye is actually a very strong neural inhibitor) and asbestos.

The Actual recipe is a closely guarded secret and has exacting requirements for the ratio of U-238 to Th-234 (Thorium-234), how fine/coarse the roof-tile shavings are. Just how much "RedDye #2" is used and size of the fibres in the asbestos.

Big Joe's is also a well respected arms dealer who ironically specifically refuses to sell Uranium or any other agent that could be used in a Weapon of Mass Destruction, apparently on morale grounds. No one is certain whether he knows about the deadliness of the muffins but just 1 and a half weeks ago he became the #1 "caterer" for the Yafalonian & Bazorite militaries.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOVAMENTE CHEGOU A HORA DA DECISÃO!

So, that’s it. After the failure in defeating Quakmybush to get the automatic qualification spot, the Monopolists are obligated to pass through the playoffs in order to go to the World Cup. The supporters are worried, the players feel the responsibility, but they also are motivated to win the games to finally give the qualification to the supporters. And the opponent wants the qualification too. But can they defeat Cafundéu? Well, everything can happen, but the answer is that this mission is very difficult for them, as Cafundéu is a top footballing country.

This opponent that has the difficult task of defeating Cafundéu is Taeshan, a team that plays with only ten starters, so this team already enters in a game with disadvantage, with one player less. Very strange, as they have bench players, but still prefer to play with ten players. And, after the first leg, this task became even more difficult for them. In a game where the Cafundelenses didn’t play very well, making many mistakes and missing some good goal chances, they were still able to get the victory, the expected victory, as a failure in defeating Taeshan could seriously turn the fans against the players. But it was only a small victory, that doesn’t guarantee nothing. Taeshan started in front of the scoreline, but just after 4 minutes Cafundéu scored with Flecha.

In the second half, Cafundéu went to the attack, and found the path to the goal more easily than in the first half. After a good pass by Marcelinho, Saulo hit the ball and sent it to the goal. Some minutes later, it was Flecha who scored again. He received the ball still in the midfield, dribbled two opponents, the goalkeeper, his team mate Saulo who was in the smallest area, and entered inside the goal with the ball. After the third goal, the Monopolists tried to hold the victory for some time, but suffered a goal in the last minutes of the game.

BRENO GAVIÃO TALKS: “Of courrrrrrse all the Cafundelenses werrrrrre expecting to nearrrrrrly guarrrrrrantee the qualification today, in the firrrrrrrst leg, and surrrrrrely a victorrrrry by one goal of difference wasn’t enough for this. But at least the team won. It wasn’t a verrrrrry good game for the Monopolists, but the advantage is now with us, and we must keep our confidence at a high level. The next game will be in the Obelisco Monumental, our favourrrrrrite place, wherrrrrre Cafundéu can surrrrrrely win and I can surrrrrrely shout GOOOOOOOOOOAL! This goal was an offerrrrring of Sozó Plastic Bags, making your life easier!”

THE COACH TALKS: “Well, it’s not a good situation to play in the playoffs of the World Cup qualifiers. To tell you the truth, it’s something that makes me very nervous. I think that, in this confront against Taeshan, we have the better team, the better players and the best coach. So we have to show them our full ability to get this qualification at home. I’ll talk to the players before the game to motivate them. Our team usually is an offensive one, but I guess that our strategy for the next game will be a bit more cautious. Nothing that will change our style, as this can harm the team’s form evolution.”

TAESHAN 2x3 CAFUNDÉU

Place: Atlantea Collesium, in Atlantea.
Attendance: 215,460 people.
Referee: Victor Gill (Acapais).
MOTM: Silveira (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/taeshan.png TAESHAN: Montague (Reunion 25'); Riae and Raellis; Smyth, Zeke Jr. and Ying Uing (Sanchex 74’); Kitna, Williams, Kennedy and Hele (Falcon 45’).
Coach: Zeke.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Marcelo Rocha (Vital 73’), Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Da Silva, Giovanni (Jorginho 73’) and Marcelinho; Flecha and Careca (Saulo 45’).
Coach: Caio Meback.

Goals:TAE: Ying Uing 19’ , Kitna 84’.
CAF: Flecha 23’/70’ , Saulo 63’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Taeshan: Moisés; Vital, Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Gian, Da Silva and Marcelinho; Flecha and Saulo.
Coach: Caio Meback.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Garth Valxen (Wentland) – oh, my God, not him...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

12- Flecha
6- Saulo
4- Moreira, Marcelinho
3- Augusto César
2- Silveira, Da Silva, Alex, Careca
1- Rubiano, Carlos Magno

The National Reporter Online: News with a view
Cunningham lifts C&M onto the tightrope

Iain Miller writes. For eighty minutes, the thousands at the Millerman Sheppard Stadium might as well have been watching the DVD of the C&M 0 D2R 1 game of six years ago, were such a monstrosity to exist. In the swirling rain and ‘neath a blackened sky, a scratch team of Candelariasians attempted to play a first-leg play-off match against a Dance 2 Revolution team on a high. Sure, missing out on qualification by goal difference alone had been a blow for the visitors, but they had lost just a single game in their group and must surely have believed that their renaissance was approaching fast.

For C&M, the crushing blow of loosing at home to Septentrionia whilst Lovisa were beating Bettia still hung as low as the evening sky, or something, over the Albrecht stadium. But the greatest reflection of the hard-fought campaign was the XI that took to the pitch: a side missing many of the country’s greatest stars. For the part-time fan, this was a chance to become a little better acquainted with Rául Vélez, Connor Mengucci, Harris Dixon and the like, but that was little comfort to the fans who have followed the Big Blues through thin and thin over the last yearish. They know such players all too well and, as fine as they are, they clearly second best. Yet surely their experience of playing domestically in Cafundéu, Kura-Pellandi, the Han Empire and even the CMSC itself – some of the world’s greatest club competitions exporting the globe’s very finest players – could lift them beyond the non-entities put out by the 8-Panel Empire, as fine a history as the visiting country had?

It could not and, if by some quirk of magic C&M do qualify for World Cup 40, games like this will make that achievement undeserved. But for Ozzy Stefano in goal this tie would have been all over as a contest; the United Trilan veteran having surely one of the games of his long career. The guests could have gone ahead twice in barely the first ten minutes, their striker – let’s call him something random without any vowels in, like Ngstvk – missed a gilt-edged opportunity when his team-mate – Ameo Ameooioi, or something – beat Ben Young’s floppy challenge and rolled the ball into the box. Ngstvk shot firmly but it was straight at Stefano with the goal gaping.

It truly was the story of the game, at both ends, for the D2R ‘keeper – probably called Naoki, I dunno - was equal to anything Ramiro Novo or the younger Vélez could conjure up. It may be getting on for a century, their time, that a D2R side made the World Cup final, but there was still guile and experience about this unit that the Candelariasians’ own racial memory couldn’t hope to match. Early in the second half, Ameooioi released a long ball that fell into Ngstvk’s path, and the striker once again fired cleanly. This time – Ngstvk’s twentieth shot of the game – Stefano was ill-placed to attempt to save, and Steven Williams’ late attempt at a clearance could only help the ball into the back of the net.

Lloyd Donnelly threw caution to the wind, and as well he might have, with Dixon sacrificed and William Burgos moving to right-back. The manager’s options were few – such were C&M injury problems they could not even name a full bench – but he made the decisive call in opting for Joe Cunningham over Rex Sandstrom. Dance 2 Revolution went defensive and held on well, but finally, on the eighty-fifth minute, Adlai Dobson got free from his man to launch a cross, and Cunningham appeared at the back post. The merest of touches was all it took to send the ball on its way past Naoki Veksupillarpilolarhaimmolo. The fans’ hopes were raised, but the chance of a second was soon dashed by Novo’s miss-hit, and the Big Blues and Stefano were left hanging on even for their point.

Hatefully, stupidly, Cunningham’s goal has given us all hope when surely there is none. Dance 2 Revolution have not lost in Maedo since matchday five of the WC39 qualifiers; at a time when they were rather lower ranked than now and Oliverry rather higher ranked than we. At least no-one else got injured in Albrecht, though how they will fair even away from the pitch in D2R is anyone’s guess. The country is, after all, has no government to speak of and will likely cease to exist in a matter of days. They would be advised to bring robust vests.

How galling will it be to watch them loose eighty points in their World Cup group while the Big Blues prepare for the Cup of Harmony. Donnelly and his impromptu captain Stefano cannot allow that to happen… but who would honestly wish to bet against it?

World Cup 40 Qualification Play-Off, First Leg
@ Millerman Sheppard Stadium, Albrecht, Candelaria

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/candelaria_and_marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez 1
Cunningham 85

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/dance_2_revolution.png Dance 2 Revolution 1
I dunno. Some Bloke. No vowels. 50

And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech.
Genesis 4:18


“Say what you like about the Ministry, but it does provide employment for a lot of burly young afro-Caribbean guys who might struggled to find work elsewhere,” Sukie muttered, as she watched several agents politely coax Pastor Daniel Nilsson into the back of a black van with “Department for Rushmori Agricultural Subsidies” written threateningly down the side.

“Ah, you’re becoming delirious. That’ll be the cold. D’you want my coat?”

“You’re not wearing a coat.”

“Hypothetically, though, that’d be the chivalrous thing to do?”

Sukie scowled at the minister and wandered down the little path that led away from the park and towards Pozdnyakov Road, where Tom Redway was being loaded into an ambulance. She gave him a little wave, but he ignored her as the doors slammed shut behind him.

“Right, not in the mood for our usual sparkling repartee, I see,” Lyndon Hernández muttered as he caught up with her.

“No.” She slumped onto the curb, and watched a family of six being cajoled to leave their house.

“The last stragglers,” Hernández commented, as stretches of tape were rolled across each of the entrances to the street. “We’ll keep it cordoned off for a couple of days. Gas leek or something, I suppose. Long enough to work out what exactly what we’re going to do with Muscat Wood’s latest residents.”

“What were they?” Sukie whispered.

“Dan – our Dan, back at the Ministry, not the unfortunate reverend – believes the best translation may be Kyrkogrim.”

Sukie shrugged in a questioning fashion.

“The English term would be Church Grim, I suppose. Of course, they usually appear as yer basic black dog in that sense. Early Scandinavian Christians apparently had a habit of burying lambs under the altar of newly-built churches, though. It’s probably emblematic of something…”

“It’s grim up north,” Sukie muttered.

“¿Que?”

“It doesn’t matter. Just something… someone said. Anyway; what – he thought doing that would bring the younger members of his dispersed congregation good luck?”

“I very much doubt he was doing any ‘thinking’ at all, Sukie. This is how Kykogrims reproduce, y’see?”

“Really? Forgive me if I don’t buy that. ‘Sounds just a tad too mystical for me.”

“Not really. Not everything breeds in the same way. They’re just blood and organs like the rest of us, Sukie; they just go about things slightly differently. They’re parasitic. They burrow into human minds, convince them that killing lambs might be a good plan and the – for want of a better term – souls of these creatures become the beings you encountered this evening. They’re harmless apart from that.”

“Not to Nilsson. Or to those kids, more to the point! Is this why they all went skew-whiff; they were hunting about trying to find lambs?! We found one in the Green boy’s bedroom.”

“Yes, Tom said. And no. Actually, I kind of have to thank you… Your little quest here tonight convinced a few other people back down south to put two and two together… All those kids – and not just those three, there are at least four others we’ve taken in since you called us – were on Verbosita.”

“Yeah, so Nilsson said. Wasn’t sure about that, either. Doesn’t sound very Candelariasian. Most of our youngsters have to confine themselves to getting high off the printing ink from glossy Argos catalogues.”

“It’s a performance enhancing drug. Makes people think quicker, talk quicker, act quicker. Age quicker. Removes any problems with jet lag, stuff like that. Unfortunately, once you’re on it, you’ve got to stick on it. Otherwise users become hyperactive, but constantly exhausted with it, they loose their appetite, and can suffer early-onset osteoporosis. Particularly if the withdrawal problems strike during or before puberty, apparently, but there can be problems with brittle bones in adulthood too. At any rat–”

“Lyndon… Who… who uses Verbosita. Normally? In the Candelarias, I mean? Anyone?”

“Um… Footballers, actually. Those who play for the national team. It helps their bodies cope with the travelling and time dilation and such forth. Why?”

“Well… Nilsson said he was getting his Verbosita from some ethnic Han guy, but he didn’t say where he was getting it from. I mean, Tom’s got a broken leg, and if I’ve been following things right –”

“Ben Head and O’Sullivan Caras and Ignacio Vélez and José Felipe Cassumba Domingos and Oberon Martinez and Harry Primrose are all injured too. Seriously, in most cases. With… bone… injuries…”

Sukie looked at the minister. “It’s you, isn’t it? Of course it is! The last thing you want is C&M qualifying for any World Cup, never mind the chance of playing in a country full of dwarves! You’ve been stopping their supply of Verbosita and what; selling it on? Or…?”

“Have you quite finished?” Hernández smiled. “Come on, d’you really think I’d have allowed them to inject the stuff in the first place if I had any say in the matter? It’s beyond my control. No… There must be someone else in the camp who wants them to fail…”

“Alright… So, what happens to users in the end, if they can’t get their supply?”

“Um. Death. Probably. At the very least, falling over could cause horrible internal damage.”

“Then what on Earth are you waiting for?” Sukie clambered to her feet and stood face to face with the minister, against a rather dramatic backdrop of the rising sun. “Call someone! The longer you wait the sooner someone’s going to die!”

“Yes…” Hernández removed his mobile from a pocket and fiddled with it. “Only… They drew one-all this evening. Chances are they’re going to loose the second game, or at least not do enough to go through. Couldn’t we just wait until they’d been to Dance 2 Revolution? And then –”

“Lyndon!”

“Yes, yes, alright… I’ll call Donnelly now. Make sure everyone gets given proper doses. And not by their usual physician either…”

“Good. I know this is slightly ironic, coming from me, but I’ve seen enough death lately… Lyndon?”

“Hm?”

“You did… you did want me to do all this, didn’t you?”

Their eyes were momentarily sidetracked by a MoRT security man heaving a bag of stones into the back of a van. Sukie could’ve sworn there was a little glowing lamb following on behind him, then jumping into the vehicle next to his newly mobile home; but it might just have been the early morning light playing tricks on her.

“How d’you mean, Sukie?” Hernández asked distractedly, as Lloyd Donnelly’s phone dialled many miles in Lazarus.

“I mean… All that ‘I’ve got slightly bigger things to deal with’ spiel the other day… You were trying to reverse-psychology me into investigating all this, weren’t you?”

Hernández looked up and frowned at her. “Nah. I was just being grotty. Sorry.” He turned away from her. “It’s no good, I’ll have to try someone else, he’s not answering…”

“Y’know,” Sukie said thoughtfully, “The one thing I really don’t get are those random biblical quotes that appeared at the top of some of these pages…”

“You didn’t expect everything to be wrapped up in a nice little package, did you? The real world doesn’t work like that I’m afraid… Ah! Lloyd! Finally! Yes… Have you landed yet? Right, sure. In that case, you might want to sit down…”

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/casaritv.png

Deportation plan gets fleshed out, weakens slightly as haze of anger lifts
Foriegn Minister Parozzi placed in charge of effort

The much-panned deportation plan slowly winds towards implementation today, as more and more details come to light about the depth and scope of the plan.

A number of exceptions have been announced to the blanket policy, including those for nativeborn but ethnically oriental citizens, or those willing to undergo extensive background checks. Extensions are also available through Form 6, available at most post and governmental offices, offers extensions based on need, such as a lack of foreign relatives, or for families possessing children which would be unable to make such a move on short notice.

Destination points are also being determined, with the statement that the Han Empire would be willing to take any of the deportees, but the Casaran Government expressed their willingness to offer a number of destinations, the closest of which being Ascension Island, a much smaller island in the Karini Chain, to a number of locations overseas. "We can understand that this would be a difficult trip, and we are doing everything we can to make it less difficult and except loyal Casaran citizens, but this will happen." the Foriegn Minister said to the press today.

---

"Interrogators?" Winter said, rubbing her brow while sitting in the back seat of the government car as it pulled away from yet another funeral. "These people have timing, I'll give them that."

"At least it's something." Governor-General Neuman said, sitting opposite the Premier in the back of the car.

"Ok, tell Parozzi to send a response. Say that we would welcome investigators, as long as their identities are properly verified and vouched for by their government... and don't let them out of our sight when they do come. We don't need mad foreigners running around the damn country."

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%201.PNG

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Tertius Shajarrayam

Stadium Deal Settled With Banco Econômico of Cafundeu

The Minister of Commerce, Siddarth Mehmandar, announced publicly today that Cafundeu-based Banco Econômico has been awarded design and construction rights for the Pazhujeb Islands national football team's new stadium. The arena, to be named Banco Econômico Vintéms Stadium, will seat 130,000 people, easily dwarfing all other stadia in the country.

Following a deliberation period of several weeks, during which the Cafundeu bid and other bids, such as one from Daehanjeiguk-based Samseong Heavy Industries, were considered, the decision was made to reward the Cafundeu bid. Mr. Mehmandar briefly cited the Ministry's reasons for approving the Banco Econômico plan; apparently the Cafundese company offered to pay for all construction costs (in exchange for a massive portion of all initial and most long-term profits), and the simply astonishing size of the stadium was too much to turn down.

The decision was also annoucned to build the massive structure (which will contain a mechanized running water system, one of the first in the country) directly in the center of Mahathu on Akhekhur Island. Several buildings will be razed in order to accomodate the huge stadium, as Mahathu's urban area is already packed. One of the buildings to be razed is the very old Ministry of Agriculture buidling. No estimates exist as to how old the Ag Building is, but it may be nearly a millenia in age. Many are displeased with the announcement that such a building will be demolished, but the Ministry of Agriculture had been publicly debating whether or not to move their headquarters to Fajr Island (where far more agriculture actually takes place) anyway.

Scoreless Draw, Home Leg Looks To Be Nervous Affair

Purple-turbaned fans across the world were disappointed to see their club come away from the first leg of a playoff with Jariss with no goals. The nil-all match means that the Islanders cannot afford to draw now, as it would either result in an extra time period (if the second leg ended scoreless as well) or in a simple loss on away goals (if the second leg ended in a scoring draw).

The match itself was painfully uneventful, as Archregimancy referee Athanasius the Jurist kept the game so under control it seemed as though bending over, picking one's nose, or scratching one's crotch could result in a caution, no questions asked. This may have had something to do with the match's scoreless result.

Pazhujebi fans (and probably one or two Jariss fans as well) will note that a lack of scoring on the part of the Urchins might be attributed to the glaring absense of two of their best attacking players, Parokshara with injury and Panithaj with suspension. Panithaj will return for the home leg, Parokshara will not.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jariss.png Jariss 0
Vindu; Panai, Lyani, Querre (Rashi 71'), and Juilo; Giranu, Numuu, Hitua, Kitii (Gasti 71'), and Lau (Chu 68'); Dawo

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png Pazhujeb Islands 0
Amutarrad; Tushambanda, Lissama, Idarha (Guvidhipa 65'), and Rha; Chenab, Abadhyash, Quridheru, and Ghur (Bicharna 78'); Qiva and Vuhumkara (Zulqadr 58')

Referee: Fr. Athanasius the Jurist (The Archregimancy)

Goalscorers-
JRS: (none)
TPI: (none)

Matchday 1: Beer Served Here - Pazhujeb Islands (1-3 W)
Matchday 2: Pazhujeb Islands - The Archregimancy (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 3: Diojiu - Pazhujeb Islands (2-0 L)
Matchday 4: Pazhujeb Islands - Kolanderaz (@ K'arasiam Sarvatobhav in Pkethat Hevnaje) (3-2 W)
Matchday 5: Squornshelous - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Vogsphere Arena in Vogsphere) (3-2 L)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Holy Empire (@ Bengaluru Velodrome in Bengaluru) (2-2 D)
Matchday 6: Pazhujeb Islands - Beer Served Here (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (4-0 W)
Matchday 7: The Archregimancy - Pazhujeb Islands (@ Peaceful Woodland Glade in the Dreamed Realm) (3-1 L)
Matchday 8: Pazhujeb Islands - Diojiu (@ Therakham Coliseum in Mahathu) (2-0 W)
Matchday 9: Kolanderaz - Pazhujeb Islands (3-1 L)
Matchday 10: Pazhujeb Islands - Squornshelous (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi) (3-4 L)
Playoff 1: Jariss - Pazhujeb Islands (0-0 D)
Playoff 2: Pazhujeb Islands - Jariss (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)
Post-Qualifying Friendly Match: Pazhujeb Islands - Starblaydia (@ Zhevassi Athletic Field in Zhevassi)

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/Eenadu%202.PNG

There was no question as to who had the clipboard.

In a familiar pattern, all three of the forwards scored. This was good news for Coach Mcgimpy mostly because of the amount of options it left open. What if 30 goes on the attack...maybe plug in 14 once in a while...

Pen in hand, he jotted unintelligible notes. If people passed to 10 instead of making him have to dig the ball out...put 26 in when 15 isn't doing well, 16 is too old.

"Okay," he said after the game. No idioms, mathematically based or otherwise, just football. "Good work, though one goal against Uiri at home? You can win by more than that. There might be a friendly, or unfriendly, I don't make the schedule. But it's been a good qualification stage, short but you're where you should be. Now getting ready for the proper..."

He talked, and they paid attention. It was kind of cool.

"...11, get ready to step it up-I know you're capable of excellence when you push yourself. 13, got anything more to say?"

"Um..." said Steven, in the same impressed shock the rest of the team felt. "Nope."

Four and a half tournaments after being hired, coach Mcgimpy considered living up to his title.

----------------------------------------

They're not speaking, really-neither could hear real words above the static.

Who are you?

I've worn too many names...too many masks.

I've seen you before.

We didn't have much in common.

I was on the plane-this can't be real.

The airplane again? Still in transition.

We don't really know where we're going.

You'll survive moving around. It's the time travel that's the problem.

Dilation?

No-actual time travel, moving and changing like it does.

Is that why you're here? You traveled through time?

No! I cannot. Neither can you.

So what's the problem?

Others can-they adapt, they mature. We don't.

So we're stuck.

Yes. I'm too arrogant-I don't want to change what I am.

And what does that make me?

Original. You've created something truly new.

So did we peak too early?

Perhaps-but perhaps not in the way you think. Zwangzug is-tied for tenth, now? In the rankings?

Eleventh. Ten are no team. Eleven are a team.

And those ranked above? What do they have in common?

They're all good.

Good, and have been playing longer.

We're still new.

I count in a different reality than you-

Everyone seems to be doing that these days-

and Zwangzug is the newest, perhaps, in the top twenty. You see the paradox? We cannot criticize the system that brought us here so quickly, neither can we be complacent without betraying our generation.

Can't talk, can't shut up. Sounds like something Natalie would say.

Would say, perhaps. She still fears to speak, though less and less each day. But Megan would not listen, and Eddie- Whatever Eddie was was drowned by another torrent of static, this one wilder. -the only one that can.

Can do what?

The only thing I wanted all along, maybe-bring the noise!

What no-

But the static was too great, and the promise remained unspoken. ...and I could give both of us a second chance...

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.png

Casari To Deport Hans In Casari

Bostopia To Stick It's Nose Where Not Needed

In the first piece of news to leave Bostopia since the leadership returned from their holiday, the Government has pledged to “support Casari 100% in their efforts against fighting terrorism.” Bostopians today woke up to the news that a stadium in Casari had been bombed by Daehanjeiguk, bringing back painful memories of Bostopian women and children being harmed in attacks in Bostopia.

While Bostopia now has only one regiment of troops in Casari at a time – mainly on training exercises in arctic areas – Daniel Henrik, the Foreign Secretary, along with Minister for Defence, Stefan Kitchforth, both vowed they would made those forces available for Casaran use should any civil unrest occur during deportations.

Bostopia itself does not have a large Han community, though those Han in the nation have been told they have no reason to fear any backlash in Bostopia unless Bostopia is provoked by their actions.

SCOTTY: Sportscenter, straight from our basement into your living room, and no, that doesn't sound creepy at all. I'm Scotty Furr...

KENNETH: And I'm Kenneth Prime. Vacations come and go for the working man, but a group of guys who didn't earn some vacation time were the Dancougar Black Wings. A 1-1 draw in their final Group Two qualifying match against Gweridijongya was the lead-in to the playoffs, and questions about the format were answered - twos against threes. A home and home leg to determine the other spots, and Dancougar were paired with KaMaRi, formerly Rejistania.

SCOTTY: Yeah, and in a lot of respects, this is a very close matchup. They're ranked right next to each other according to the KPB table, but if you're going by performance in qualifiers, then you have to go with KaMaRi. Six wins to Dancougar's four, although the Black Wing offense is surprisingly the more potent of the two. Last night, the National Stadium played host to the first leg. Charles DuPont looking to do the unthinkable - guide his side into the final thirty two in his first year as coach. Tahik I Ly, looking to give his war-torn nation a reason to cheer.

KENNETH: But the beginning of this game was all Wings. That five-man defense of KaMaRi breaks down, assignments are missed, and Hideo Ikeda is given an open shot on goal, but he drives it wide left. Two minutes later, minute twelve, Whittaker gets a shot off. His confidence has really been improving as the tournament gets closer, you can tell he wants to leave his mark. And then, minute sixteen, Black Wings draw first blood. Shishio Jinguuji keeps his head up to receive the long pass from Jericho Leyton. Chests it down and comes around Jaru Sia for the shot, and he kisses the far post to make it 1-0. Look again, chests it on the run and takes it in stride, poor coverage in the box.

SCOTTY: KaMaRi settled down after that, started to cut off those Wing incursions and start a few of their own. Hetinx at the half hour mark, forces Watanabe to come out and get it. Hetinx against, thirty four, this one is deflected out. And just before halftime, Erali Hana floats one in that Watanabe just gets over the bar. So the Wings clinging to that 1-0 lead as we start the second half. Minute fifty four, Siki Amu dispossed, Wings come the other way. Boskov hits it forward to Whittaker, who sends it in. Goalkeeper Hana yields the rebound, and Ikeda is there... and he pounds it over the bar.

KENNETH: Sixty fourth minute, though, that home crowd really starting to get into it, and the Black Wings respond. Leyton squares up and Kevin Underwood steps up for the shot. Curls it around the defense and in, and it's 2-0, watch it again. Outside of his foot and just gets to the inside post, he's loving it, the fans are loving it, and now the clock becomes the twelfth man. But it turns out four minutes was all they needed. Ikeda gets the ball wide, cuts inside. Looks for goal, gets away the shot. Punched clear, but right to the foot of Akira Morimoto, who sends it right back in for a goal. It's 3-0 to the Black Wings, and that's how it ends.

SCOTTY: So, with only the return leg standing between them and the World Cup, the Wings are in good shape to qualify. KaMaRi need a four-goal victory to win the set, and a 3-0 result would force overtime. However, without any away goals, their life can be made difficult if the Black Wing offense continues to click.

Instead of a match reports, let's hear the comedians:

Kaitama Rej: You know my friend Elit, he has a dog. And the dog watches the matches of the national team with him. Now Elit told me: 'Every time, the Kaskada'ny concede a goal, the dog makes a salto.' Of course I was confused: 'forwards or backwards?' - He replied: 'Haaa, depends where I hit him!'

Init Itike: You know that they say that Laxtu Takil sniffed coke and offered it to the national team players? Well, at least they can not say that about the current team, coke makes agile!

Kemsy Kansu: You know what they is sayinh about Kose, su? they say team no big on play fair. They say players Kose'from kick everything moves. Not a wonder midfield of here not fouled!

Kemsy Kansu about the latest game: You know what they is sayinh about Dancougar? Reporters no know we not Rejistania! Team also no know not playing Rejistania. This why team actually used effort!

Dancougar call team Black Wing. Especially because they winged chances for world cup for us.

Next leg, team from Dancougar come here. Coach says team ready. Other news, diaper sales for adults did rise! I sure completely unrelated!

Now Dancougar come to KaMaRi, it be big shock for them. Other nation know how drive safely!

Also, this island rejistanian, we no know this one nation when they arrive or whether KaMaRi more nation is then! But then, this means team chance has become international again and happen this not!

The final Qualifying RP cut-off has just passed. If you have any chance of making it through the Play-offs, then you better use your luck right now.

To see if the luck worked, find the scores here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13606961&postcount=16).

An ode to the worst day in Kura-Pellandi football history
Set to the tune of Memory (composed by Andrew Lloyd-Webber, original lyrics by Trevor Nunn after T.S. Elliot)

Midnight, not a sound from the pavements
That spread out around Shanvley
As the rainclouds arrive
Oh how fitting
To match the empty heads on the field
And the nation's left in strife

Shanvley, left alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
We could qualify then
I remember
When bongo boys could lose every game
Let the memory live again

Every paper shall contain a fatalistic warning
And green-clad cynics seeking sad exhibits
will read them in the morning

Daylight won't make us forget that night
Oh how painful the memories
Shall continue to be
In the future
I guess that we'll be good once again
But for now that's hard to see

Our defenders must be shamed
They should have made it boring
But now we've cried, another night is over
Karela's day is dawning

Save me
From the pain that surrounds me
All alone here in Shanvley
But I'm simply too numb
If you save me
I might recall what happiness is
Look! A new day has begun

World Cup 40

Qualifiers: 6-3-1 (2)
PQF: HAN 2-1 ESF (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD1: HAN(26) 1-1 (167)ENG (@ Oromokojei Football Stadium, Oromokjei)
MD2: HAN(26) 2-0 (61)MGV (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD3: JAR(59) 0-3 (26)HAN
MD4: SJV(154) 1-3 (26)HAN
MD5: HAN(26) 0-0 (16)CAS (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MF1: TAE 2-1 HAN
MF2: HAN 1-0 PRA (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: ENG(167) 2-2 (26)HAN
MD7: MGV(61) 0-5 (26)HAN
MD8: HAN(26) 3-0 (59)JAR (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD9: HAN(26) 4-0 (154)SJV (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira)
MD10: CAS(16) 4-1 (26)HAN
Playoffs: Aggregate 8-3
PM1: JFC(37) 2-3 (26)HAN
PM2: HAN(26) 5-1 (37)JFC (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
World Cup Group

IMPERIAL TEAM QUALIFIES WITH JERU FC ROUT

http://www.korea.net/image/issue/album/A_12708.jpg

HANGYEONG - The Imperial Squad took on the Army Team of Jeruselem in a thrilling 5-1 win, putting the Imperial side on an 8-3 aggregate win over their opponents. The Imperial Team joins 31 other teams as the World Cup begins to develop in earnest. Ioshido Toki was perhaps reveling in the joy of qualifying the team - assuredly winning himself a stay with the Imperial Team for another season. Of course, the dark memory of the victims of the terrorist attack in Casari overshadowed the whole event. The start of the match was an-hour long procession, recalling the names of all the Han victims in Casari. With the memory of their loss fresh on mind, the Team took to a quick and resounding win. In perhaps their closest chance at qualification yet, Jeru FC succumbed to the immense pressure of thousands of cheering fans as Jeong Jihun made his second hat trick for this WC Season. Song Jongguk and Hong Myeongbo completed the side's scorers in the tense match.

After the match, Ioshido talked to reporters celebrating the final win:

"I think that the team has matured considerably, and I have no doubt that they have taughtm e much as well. I'm pleased that in spite of our loss, they are able to get together like a greater family and put tragedy behind them to win."

SIC - that's Secret! Not Silly

TO CASARI AUTHORITIES:

We are submitting the information for our primary interrogator. He will accompany your investigators. To make things simple, he will be the only interrogator on mission. Any other persons are to be viewed with suspicion and likely arrested for impersonating a Han official. Our interrogator will determine those persons in your custody affiliated with the Mujeongbu. Those affiliated with the Mujeongbu must be incarcerated; those innocent should be released, pending any other criminal offenses they are being charged in Casari.

We hope that our agent's presence helps in the ensuing investigation.

NAME: Byeong Tongya (病痛唖|병통아)
AGE: 28
AGENT CLASSIFICATION: 朝|조 (2nd highest)
ALIAS: 宋封|송봉


(ooc: the guy's name translates loosely to "Painful Aches")

皇 - Emperor
外 - Marquis Pak Yu (Foreign Affairs Minister)
軍 - Marquis Yi Jongmu (Defense Minister)
事 - Marquis Yi Jangho (Domestic Affairs Minister)
政 - Marquis Jang Jeonggu (Finance Minister)
花郞 - Duke Weon Gwang (Head of the Hwarang)

皇: So did they accept our offer to extend formal relations?

外: Um... they didn't seem to notice that part.

皇: So what are they doing?

外: They accepted us sending an interrogator, and they mentioned something about lessening the stringency of their "relocation" of ethnic Han persons.

皇: Wait! I thought they were going to clear people after we told them that they weren't Mujeongbu members!

外: Um, I didn't notice that. I don't think they noticed it either.

花郞: The investigator was received in Casari. I don't know if he's been put to work yet, but I doubt that it will be long before we get the information that we want.

皇: Okay... well, what do we do in the meantime? We've still got to do something.

花郞: We've forced our enemies into hiding. We still have yet to uncover them, but once we do, we'll have full right to retaliate.'

皇: Something doesn't sit right in my bones.

外: That would be last night's dinner.

皇: I mean besides that!


Goal Scorers
13 - Jeong Jihun
4 - Kim Daeeui
3 - Baek Jihun, Song Jongguk
2 - Yi Dongguk, Yi Yeongpyo, Hong Myeongbo
1 - Kim Byeongji, An Pilrip, Yi Eulyong

QSPNFootball.net WORLD CUP XL Coverage

PLAYOFF MATCH TWO: vs. Prux @ Estadia Pika, Pika City

Qazox is going back to the World Cup for the Sixth consecutive trip following a 4-0 second leg win over Prux, which set the aggregate at 5-2 in favor of the Pheonix.

Anderson Tarricone and Renna Valladores each had a pair of goals, Tarricone has his in the 37th and 56th minutes, while Valladores score hers in the 68th and 83rd minutes.

Now the Pheonix will travel to either Starblaydia or Krytenia for the Cup. We'll have live coverage of the World Cup Group Draw and a full breakdown of the groups next Thursday at 5:30 am QST on QSPNFootball.net and QSPN2.

QAZOX SCORING:
Kallie Jaus- 8 (1 PK)
Anderson Tarricone- 8
Renna Valladores- 7
Stevie Spingler- 2
Maria Cruz-Preli- 1
Jeffie Huhman- 1


SCHEDULE:
Friendly vs. Starblaydia L 1-2
G1: @ Az-cz (18:00 QST, Slimes Stadium) QPSN L 2-3 (0-0-1)
G2: @ Iansisle (@ Iansisle 5:45 QST) QSPN2 W 1-0 (1-0-1)
G3: vs. Scotchpineistan @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) QSPN W 3-1 (2-0-1)
G4: @ Nethertopia @ Falcon Stadium, Nethertopia. (Capacity: 90,000) QSPN2 D 1-1 (2-1-1)
G5: vs. Green wombat @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. QSPN W 4-1 (3-1-1)

Mid-qualifing break friendly: vs Krytenia in Starblaydia L 1-2 QSPN

G6: vs. Az-cz @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City Capacity: 98,000. L 1-2 QPSN (3-1-2)
G7: vs. Iansisle @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla Capacity: 85,000. W 5-3. QSPN (4-1-2)
G8: @ Scotchpineistan W 2-1 QSPN2 (5-1-2)
G9: vs. Nethertopia @ Chek-Via Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 90,000. W 3-1 QSPN2 (6-1-2) CLINCHED PLAYOFF BERTH
G10: @ Green wombat @ Carrier Stadium in Wachovia, Green wombat (Capacity 73,000) L 1-5 QSPN (6-1-3)

PLAYOFFS:
@ Prux 1900 Local time (21:30 QST) QSPN L 1-2
vs. Prux @ Estadia Pika, Pika City (Capacity: 78,625.) W 4-0 QSPN
(Qazox advances on 5-2 aggregate)

THE ROCKET REPORT

SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR

Bostopia- Newmanistan’s qualifying efforts came to an end today, getting as close as you possibly can to qualifying without actually doing so. The Rockets defeated Bostopia this evening by the score of one-nil, making them the highest ranked opponent that the Empire has defeated. However, this was not quite enough. The team knew that they had to win by two goals to advance, because it was unlikely that the away goals rule would work in their favor after Bostopia won here, 3-2. One more goal, the Rockets must be saying, one more goal, and they would have achieved a most remarkable feat in qualifying for the World Cup in their first attempt, something that in this day and age with 90 or so nations attempting to make that final field of 32, is a most difficult and pretty rare occurrence. One more goal, and it could have been done. So close, but in this game, how close you get doesn’t matter. You qualify or you don’t, and now Newmanistan heads to the Cup of Harmony. Bostopia knew they could play relatively defensive, and did just that making safe conservative passes. The crowd got a little nervous, but their players knew what they were doing. We would like to congratulate Bostopia on qualifying and wish them the best of luck in the World Cup.

Though the Bostopians are known for being an offensive minded team, they were well aware of the situation. Play defensive and don’t force the issue to get a goal. Slow the tempo of the game down to a snail’s pace. They did this, and while it made for some football that those who don’t appreciate that game would call “boring”, the crowd seemed to know why it was being done, and as the game remained scoreless, their supporters remained loud and passionate. When the first half reached its conclusion, the score was the same as it was when we started. No goals, and Bostopia feeling pretty good. The best scoring chances in the half did belong to Newmanistan, but when Brian Adder needed to come up big, he did just that. A save he made on a Kevin Lewis in the 33rd minute was simply, amazing. Highlight reel stuff.

At halftime, it became clear that the Rockets would need to take some more chances. They didn’t want to be too aggressive and allow the Bostopians to take an early lead, or else that would have been nearly insurmountable. But now time was not on their side. Just 45 minutes remained. The time was now. Bostopia though, knew to expect this, and if their defensive pressure was good in the first half, it was even better in the second. More minutes ticked away, and the home crowd could sense qualification. That is, until the 63rd minute. Jeremy McAllister, who’s found great form since the midway point of the group stage would put the Rockets in front, 1-nil with a smoothly placed shot into the bottom right corner. Now, the crowd was worried. One more goal, and their beloved club would be in the Cup of Harmony, and sent there by a debutant nation. Surely this could not happen, not in their house, thought the home faithful.

Minutes 65 through 80 were particularly entertaining because here the Rockets were very aggressive in their approach, getting quality opportunities. Until in minute 80, the best chance of all presented itself. John Murphy was knocked down in the penalty area by Mark Newkey. Surely, referee Jol Zwinkles of Nethertopia would not allow a penalty kick and allow the game to be decided in that manner, especially in his first appearance too, at this stage.. But out came a yellow card and then the motion for a penalty kick. The crowd was pissed. First timer referee siding with first timer nation? That’s what most of the crowd thought. But here it was John Murphy vs Brian Adder for the World Cup. Both sides looking on nervously as Murphy stared down the goalkeeper. Approaching the ball, he goes for the top left. Adder guesses correctly, leaps and does just enough to knock the ball out of play. The crowd went nuts, and the immediate reaction of the Rockets was knowing that that indeed, was their chances. They pushed for the second goal in the remaining time, but would never get a real good shot at Adder, thanks in large part to fine Bostopian defensive work. Zwinkles gave a generous four minutes of stoppage time, but there too, Newmanistan found it difficult to penetrate the Bostopian defense. And thus, the game ends. Perhaps the most bittersweet way to win, yet lose at the same time. Again, we congratulate Bostopia and wish them the best. Newmanistan now looks for a strong Cup of Harmony showing.

And as Rockets fans, let us all be proud of what the team accomplished. No, we didn’t qualify for the World Cup, but they put out quite a fight, especially when they were seemingly out of it. They didn’t make it, but they showed they could play with the best in the world.

ROBERT: Four of Dancougar's most animated sportswriters... Today, the Black Wings go dancing, American football on tap, and is college football's ranking system broken? Ten topics, but only one winner. HORN! (Intro screen and theme.) Welcome back to the show that scores the arguments. Let's say hello to that national panel. At the Lakeport Times, "Doubting" Jay Adonis.

JAY: You know, I still have sufficient believers that people are going under on the first round goal differential being minus five. (MUTE! -1)

ROBERT: At the Stoneridge Post, Drew Papes.

DREW: The only thing better than a Veritech poster signed by Mari Ijima would probably be a Minmay Lynn poster signed by Mari Ijima. (MUTE! -1)

ROBERT: At the Yuki City Sun, Kenji Nakahara.

KENJI: Minmay is so 1982, it's all Lacus Clyne these days. (MUTE! -1)

ROBERT: And at the Port Royal Observer, Bradley Sharpe.

BRADLEY: If I don't ask to talk about NASCAR, can I not start in negative points?

ROBERT: Perhaps, although I try to strive for equilibrium in all things, it's good for my chi. (MUTE! -1) Let's get this party started with the big game! Dancougar downed KaMaRi on the road 3-1 last night to win the series on aggregate, and it was never really close. The win makes Dancougar the lowest-ranked team in the field of thirty two, but not by much, as they're joined by a handful of underdogs in Yafalonia and Bazor 2 and The Pazhujeb Islands. Guys, do these party crashers have what it takes to make some noise this summer? Around the horn to Jay Adonis!

JAY: Short answer is no, these teams benefited from a weak playoff draw that saw much better teams get taken out - Kura-Pelland, Southern Northland, and Candelaria And Marquez come to mind. (+2) The long answer is that each of these teams has something going for them, obviously, or they wouldn't be here. But I don't see them as capable of hanging around through three very difficult games against high-ranked opposition. Look at the Black Wings, at least, who lost three out of four against Cafundeu and Quakmybush. (+1) Those are top twenty teams, those the kinds of guys they'll have to play in the first round of the World Cup. (+2) They're not there yet.

DREW: Jay, you countered yourself when you said they lost three of four. Guess what? A home win against Cafundeu, eighth in the world? And we had Yaf and Baz beat Vephrall, Pazhujeb drew the Archregimency and lose by a single goal to Squornshelous twice. So they can certainly play. (+3) And don't overlook the fact that the tournament is being played on a neutral field, which does nullify some of the advantage that the bigger nations have, because most fans will travel just as well, they'll have good support in the tough games. (+2) And you can't say that they're not there, Adonis, because you look at them perform down the stretch. The Wings won three of their last four, when you include the playoffs. This team is peaking, I think they can do some damage. (+2)

KENJI: You're absolutely right, Drew, and even without real World Cup experience, I think these guys are really understanding some of the finer points of the game and using that, which is something we didn't see four years ago. (+2) They know how important it is to get the fans into the game and ride that energy, flow a lot more in the attack. (+2) Those mental fine points. Last night against KaMaRi, it was tied at one going into halftime, and Benjamin Whittaker gets the goal in injury time. Crushing blow to the home side, and they understood that and attacked right away in the second half to seize that momentum. (+2) And while they didn't score right away, it kept KaMaRi from making a comeback, and then Furuya comes on as a late sub and gets the clincher.

BRADLEY: But Jay brings up a good point, and it's that the majority of the time, a team like Dancougar is going to come up short against a top side. Even if they get that win once in awhile, I mean, one out of four or five is great in qualifying when you get that many. But when you have three games to state your case to the world, you really don't have that luxury. (+3) There's no more breaks from this point on, but I hope you're right, Kenji, that they're mentally tougher. They're going to get humbled in that first round, and they need to fight through that. (+2)

ROBERT: So there's certainly plenty of intangibles to be had, and there is some time for that team to rest up and work on its game. And Southern Northland are coming for a friendly, that should be a good measure of where they stand. But guys, if the Wings are going to take that all-important step to being competitive, maybe pick up a tie or two and make life difficult for the other teams in the cup, who do they look at to step up? Who is the X factor?

KENJI: Well, I think Shiro Furuya as that extra attacking option that they can plug it at any time. (+2) Here's a kid who's been sitting on the bench throughout almost all of qualifying, but suddenly you have Ikeda getting tired from America making that cup run in Cafundeu. He has two goals in three appearances, including one last night, and has really thrown opposing defenses for a loop because of his style. (+2) Ikeda still plays pretty straightforward ball at times, but Furuya is all over the place, and that opens up the defense. (+1)

BRADLEY: I think the question mark for me is Yuji Watanabe, the goalie. Had a good year with Fujiwara, but not as good as the year that got him onto the team. He struggled in the tournament and they went out early, and he's been far from spotless in qualifying. (+2) He's just not used to seeing so many shots in college play, so when he goes up against these teams which can boast viable world-class attacking options all over the field, he's forced to make plays he doesn't normally have to. (+3) If the defense doesn't step up, and they have been shaky at times, how he's able to respond is the difference between a close game and a blowout.

DREW: That two-headed monster in the midfield, Akira Morimoto and Benjamin Whittaker, those guys are working hard enough so that Ikeda and Jinguuji are more like pure strikers than actual forwards sometimes. (+2) They distribute the ball well, they're constantly keeping the team in motion, and that gives the offense a lot more fluidity, and the ability to score. (+2) They're going up and down either side of the field creating chances, taking free kicks. I question their stamina, though, especially Ben. They're going to need to work very hard in the first round. They're not going to get too many openings, not much time on the ball, and if teams can figure out how to slow them down, it affects the entire Black Wing offense. (+3)

JAY: So, there are certainly a lot of places where the Wings have pros and cons, but if they're going to get anything done in the tournament, it's going to be because of the man on the touchline. Guys, there is a reason why the FA brought in a guy like Charles DuPont to coach this team! (+3) He's been here before, he knows how tough it is, and he, better than anyone in the country, knows how to prepare them for it. (+3) He was able to really turn this team around, from a team averaging under a goal per match to one averaging two. (+2) He's familiar with the other teams in the world and their playing styles from his time with Sel Appa, so that's something he can use. (+2) And while I don't think that's enough just yet, it's a step in the right direction.

ROBERT: Good stuff from Jay, despite his reservations, and for our next topic, we move from the round ball to a prolate spheroid...

The National Reporter Online: News with a View
Cometh the hour, cometh… oh.

Iain Miller writes. It didn’t happen. It nearly almost happened, sort of, but it didn’t happen.

Much of the inevitable barrage of criticism will be aimed at Lloyd Donnelly, but the post-mortem has yet to reveal significant foul play on his part. What more could he do? Faced with a task only slightly on the right side of impossible, and presented with a squad shorn of the islands’ best talent, the sixty-nine year-old was forced to employ all his many years of experience merely in ignoring the forthright ‘advice’ of the Candelariasian press. When the chips were down, he bravely opted to shake things up; believing that the only way of getting a result against the usually impregnable home side was to utilise the element of surprise. Exit Rául Vélez, enter Joe Cunningham. Exit Adlai Dobson, enter Alessio Montano. Exit Harris Dixon, enter Matteo Corradini. For the first time in this campaign, the Big Blues were back with Donnelly’s trusty old 2-3-2-1-2. It was certainly a risk, for Montano has been a touchline hogger throughout his career at Caires City and Yarzoya FC, and Cunningham has hardly had a domestic season to shout about thus far – which is a remarkable achievement in itself given how unstoppable Albrecht look in the league.

But for a moment, just for a moment, it looked like it was going to pay off. Here were C&M, in a hostile stadium with no away supporters, needing to score at least one and really taking it to a side that hadn’t lost at home in a rather long time. The possession was ours; the early chances were all ours, Thingamibob Veksupillarpilolarhaimmolo, probably, in the Dancetorevolutionarian goal was being pulled this way and that by the shots of Cunningham, Ramiro Novo and Fred Ma. The three-pronged Anglo-Hispanic-Miscellaneous attack, a superb advert for the Candelarias’ modern, cohesive society, appeared set to take our tiny country through to our third straight World Cup.

And then the other lot scored, so balls to that. Some midfielder, who knows what he was called, who really cares, took up the ball when Connor Mengucci gave away possession cheaply in a distinctly not-the-sort-of-thing-an- Emperor’s-Cup-finalists-is-supposed-to-do way, and their large and frankly rather inbred-looking striker drove past Ozzy Stefano.

And then while we were all watching the replay, they scored again. Not really in the script, that, guys. This time it was José Luis Sosa at fault, a left-back not really au fait with this whole ‘defending’ lark, who knocked the aforementioned midfielder off the ball and conceded a free-kick. In fairness however, what a free-kick it was, and neither Stefano nor Ben Young on the line could bear any culpability for it going in.

Needing to score two goals, Donnelly made sure that the global winds would be carrying a fair old amount of Candelariasian caution to faraway places, and added Rául Vélez to the attack in favour of Corradini. And it worked, you know, it honestly did. Ma, now playing deeper in the midfield, won the ball with a fine tackle and played in the younger Vélez, who teed up Novo. The number eleven simply couldn’t help but accept the keys to the goalscoring door and notched up his twenty-first for his country.

Unfortunately, in doing so he pulled a muscle. No broken bones, no shattered limbs, he just pulled a muscle. You just can’t legislate for this kind of stuff. So off he came and another reshuffle was in order, but absolutely no-one could have predicted Donnelly’s next move. Rex Sandstrom was left on the bench as Novo joined him, and instead José Felipe Cassumba Domingos came on to the pitch.

Quite how the MarquezOW talisman can be deemed ready for competitive action so soon after Larry Torrell-Whyte broke his ankle is anyone’s guess, and that issue too will surely be part of the post-qualifying inquest. But Cassa looked fit and raring to go, bustling about industriously and generally putting the willies up the unsuspecting Dancetorevolutionaries in a manner that would make Harry Primrose proud.

He should have scored the goal that took C&M all the way. That would’ve been, y’know, poetic and that. Instead, he gave the ball away to some vowelly-challenged fellow and a couple of passes later it was all over bar the crying. We lost, and the better side won. Although we would quite like Dance 2 Revolution to go away now, please.

So, will Donnelly keep his job? Does he even want it? How many of these players will put on the big blue shirt again? We’ll know soon enough, but we have the answer to the one important question now: we’re not going. And it hurts, don’t it?

Chin up though, fellow citizens of our forgettable little islands! The World Cup is still as great a spectacle as it has ever been. Ad’ihan, Bettia, Cafundéu, Demot, the Eesseff, Krytenia, the Pazhujeb Islands, Scotchpinestan, Squornshelous, Starblaydia, Vephrall and Zwangzug will still be bringing players for whom CMSC supporters can hold a torch. There’s still an exciting title race in out domestic competition to come, providing that Albrecht get deducted fifteen points for fielding an ineligible player, or something. We can still enjoy watching Cathedral City kicking pointy-eared sissies in the Champions’ Cup. More pertinently, we will be taking part in what will surely be the strongest Cup of Harmony for many, many years. The talent available to the Blouman Empire, Koze and the Doobrypips, Hopeless, Kelssek, Nethertopia, Newmanistan, KaMaRi, Taeshan, Terreiro de Ogum and the like would alone ensure a terrific contest, but the fact that the likes of two-time World Cuppers Acapais and the mon… the likes of Acapais are there, not to mention a couple of our key sporting rivals in Sorthern Northland and Kura-Pellandi, should guarantee a competition that may rival the World Cup itself in every aspect of this great sport! What a Spring of football we have to enjoy!

Sooo...

Anyone for tennis?

World Cup 40 Qualification Play-Off, Second Leg
@ The Home Stadium, the Dance 2 Revolution capital city (assuming they have one, or don’t play their games elsewhere), Dance 2 Revolution

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/dance_2_revolution.png Dance 2 Revolution 3
Not sure 23, God knows 24, Tkllpknnn 72

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/candelaria_and_marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez 1
Novo 59

CAMAFA confirms ‘absentees’ A spokesman for the Candelaria And Marquez Association Football Association has confirmed in the last few minutes that two members of the Big Blues’ travelling party were not accounted for when the team plane left Dance 2 Revolution for Albrecht a little over an hour ago.

Left-back Lorenzo De Wilde, who was not involved in C&M’s 3-1 defeat, was reporting missing from the team hotel by team-mates in the early hours of this morning. While such disappearances have occurred before – defender Tom Redway went awol through much of the WC39 campaign and has also been docked pay for missing squad get-togethers during this qualifying campaign – friends of De Wilde’s are said to be extremely concerned over the news.

Further to the announcement, the Radyukevich striker Julius Rotherwell has told local press in Clotaire that his international colleague with Demot, Insaki Roma, believes that De Wilde has failed to get in touch with officials from their mutual club side Cheonjin for several days. Police in De Wilde’s home city of Khatib-Gassett are however yet to formally declare him a missing person.

Also absent was the team doctor Alex Malventi. The fifty-three year-old has been an ever-present with the national team squad for the best part of a decade, but his own hotel room was found abandoned this morning. Dr. Malventi’s two daughters, who live near their father in Arrigo, have both expressed their shock at his failure to get in touch, and are appealing for information.

The CAMAFA have yet to comment on press reports that Dr. Malventi has been accused of intentionally failing to provide members of the national team with adequate medical treatment over recent months. No realistic theories have surfaced over De Wilde’s disappearance, meanwhile.

Somewhere deep in SBIS HQ...

"...damn it, Theodore, try it again."

"We've been trying all week, Sir - it's just not working."

"Well keep trying. Try until it works. Don't stop trying until you get a signal."

"Alright, Sir.... if I just adjust the cable here, and...."

"crrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkksssssssshhhhhhhh.... ...unnies... sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttppppphhhhh ...evil...."

"You're getting something, Theodore! Keep trying!"

"Signal's weak, sir, but if I twist this...."

"DEVIL BUNNIES! I SNORT THE NOSE LUCIFER! BANANA! BANANA!"

"What the Hell was that?"

"I don't know. I keep trying to tell you sir.... it's not working! We haven't been able to raise Ordinary Reality for nearly two weeks. We have no idea what's going on. We're flying blind. For all we know Casari could have erupted in riots and Scotchpinestan could have qualified for the World Cup."

"Steady on lad... Casari maybe, but Scotchpinestan? Next you'll be telling me that the Holy Empire and the Archregimancy faced off against each other in an 11 goal thriller in the playoffs!"

"For all I know, they did just that. Something's interfering with our trans-reality contacts; the dream matrix isn't working; no portals provide contact with other realities, other realms; we can't see their dreams; until we can work out what's going on, there's nothing we can do."

"But you'll keep trying?"

"Of course I'll keep trying, Sir. I'll - all of us will do the best we can. But until the interference stops, there's nothing we can do. As long as the monks keep dreaming, the Empire itself remains stable, but nothing's getting out and nothing's getting in."

"Ah well. Maybe it's for the best. A break might be just what we need. Monitoring the dreams of the Han these past months was giving me the shakes anyway...."

SIC

"Dammit Paul! Give mo one good reason why I should step down!"

"The Hockey Canadian refugees."

"Six million people. What the hell was I going to do with six million people who have no country to be deported to? They're paying taxes, aren't they?"

"The Derea incident."

"I never liked the guy and you know it. Why should it matter if I attended his funeral?"

"But to swan off to..."

"But nothing Paul! I went to the more pertinent, the more important memorial and you know it."

"The turncoat stance. You used to be extremely anti-Starblaydioa, remember?"

"Anti-Starblaydia? Anti-Starblaydia?!?!? I was anti-Viannor, you dolt! Remember? Domineering bitch she was, too. Tried to have Tiberius killed, tried to turn Starblaydia into a police state...let's face it, she killed Drax and you know it. And then she went away, and he returned. The man who damn well made Starblaydia. Just like he's going to make Krytenia."

"What?!?!?"

"Err...shit."

Bostopia Stadium is a stadium that looks hurt and sombre from the moment a team enters it. The only changes since the terrorist attacks of twenty-three years ago that killed 1,472 innocent fans was the installation of perspex to protect the fans from the elements. The eternal flame still shines on the darkest and stormiest of nights, a beacon from which the Bostopian players can gain inspiration to light their own fires, reminding them of what they play for and what the country represents and stands for.

Despite the battering, it shines, much like despite the battering the Bostopian defense faced, they stood strong. Yes, the Bostopian team let one goal in, but it was their stead hardiness that found them reveling in victory. A shot by McAllister slid into the bottom-right corner of the net in the 63rd minute. The team, however, remained unnerved, even if the fans weren't, knowing one goal would not be enough for Newmanistan.

It was only a point to the spot that let Newmanistan give them a real chance to progress. Adder, however, found his luck was in, and managed to knock the ball out for a corner. The stadium breathed a collective sigh of relief with ten minutes to go. While ten minutes was left, surely, that was the worst of the storm?

Despite the referees attempts to let Newmanistan realise their dreams with a very generous four minutes of extra time, the team remained to advance into the finals of World Cup 40 in Krytenia and Starblaydia. After shaking hands with the victors, the players of Newmanistan began to trudge off the pitch, likely proud of their achievement of a first-time nation nearly knocking out the 24th ranked team in the world, some of the almost 86,000 Bostopian fans began to stir.

Beginning first around the tunnel the opposition players were heading for, supporters began to rise to their feet, tentative hands beginning a slow clap, in a show of appreciation to a team they had considered the enemy for 180 minutes of actual football, amid numerous days of tension. The ripples of applause began to form one loud roar of applause from the Bostopian fans, as section after section rose to show the Newmanistan players and fans that they had earned the respect of Bostopia, if not the rest of the international community.

If ten Bostopians were today asked which team they would be following in the Cup of Harmony, the answer would be a unanimous one, and the colours in pubs and clubs around the country would not only be red, white and blue, but would also be sporting flags coloured sky blue and white, showing off every Bostopians new favourite team.

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 40 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CLASSIFICAÇÃO ALCANÇADA!

THE FIRST HALF: the victory in the first game, played away, gave the team the advantage for this game at home. Taeshan needed to defeat Cafundéu by a difference of two goals to qualify, something far from easy or common, especially in Lasft, the biggest stadium of Cafundéu, where the team plays its most important games. The Monopolists were the best team in the playoffs, while Taeshan was hoping for a miracle in order to qualify. Of course, the red-black team wouldn’t allow this miracle to happen. In the first half, Cafundéu held Taeshan’s attacks with ability.

The purple knights (playing the game with its gold kit) continued with a defensive performance, even needing the victory. The only difference in their style is that they made many counterattacks. But they weren’t working. Cafundéu didn’t suffer from any pressure or any threat during the first half. And Taeshan didn’t have many defensive problems in the first half too. Cafundéu’s attacks were mostly from individual plays in the midfield, started by Da Silva or Marcelinho. The attackers Flecha and Saulo didn’t touch many times in the ball, and the first half ended, being considered a boring one.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Gian’s goal – 2nd half): “Da Silva with the ball in the midfield, he contrrrrrrols it well, now with calmness looks for his teammates... sends it to the attack, Saulo holds it... loses the ball to the defender... but Gian appears suddenly and gets the ball back, invades the arrrrrrea, has a chance to shoot... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Rrrrrreplay this important goal now! Gian, number fifteen! Cafundéu one, Taeshan zerrrrro! Needs to trrrrrravel to distant countrrrrrries by plane? To Qazox, Jerrrrrrruselem, Vephrrrrrrrall, Candelarrrrrrria And Marrrrrrrquez, Squorrrrrrnshelous, to Starrrrrrrblaydia, Krrrrrrytenia... flights to these and other countrrrrrries arrrrrre possible with CafAir, the company number two of Cafundéu in the trrrrrransporrrrrrt arrrrrrea!”

THE SECOND HALF: in the second half, both teams changed looking to get the qualification. Caio Meback, noticing that a goal scored would probably destroy all the remaining hopes of Taeshan, put the attacker Careca in the game. Zeke gave more strength to the midfield, putting Domingos to make the link between the defence and the attack. And these changes really put fire in the game, as both teams were more efficient in their attacks. Flecha sent the ball to the post in an attack, while Hele nearly scored with a header.

But the more talented players were in Cafundéu’s side, and this fact decided the game for the Monopolists. Da Silva took the ball from an opponent and sent it to Saulo. The attacker faced a defender and lost the ball, but Gian was fast enough to take the rebound, invade the area and score a beautiful goal. Less than ten minutes after, Augusto César started a good play using the wings, reached the opponents area and crossed the ball. Careca appeared, headed, and scored the goal. The qualification was already decided, but Taeshan nearly scored with Domingos. Gian saved Cafundéu hitting the ball over the line.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Careca’s goal): “Ball in the defence, one-zerrrrrro is the scorrrrrreline. Cafundéu with prrrrrractically both hands in the qualification, waiting for the time to pass to starrrrrrrt to commemorate. Now it’s Augusto César with the ball rrrrrrreaching the midfield. Exchange passes with Marrrrrrcelinho, rrrrrreceives the ball back alrrrrrready inside the arrrrrrea. Goes to the crrrrrrross, Carrrrrrreca to head it... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! A rrrrrrreplay comes! Carrrrrreca, number eighteen! Cafundéu two, Taeshan zerrrrrro! Want to learrrrrrrn forrrrrreign languages? Study in WorrrrrrrldTongues, your language school!”

CURIOUS MOMENTS: most of the supporters were very nervous during the game because, although the team’s advantage in the game was big since the start, Taeshan still had qualifying chances. But when a supporters started to dance “Macarena” in the middle of the stands no one could stop laughing at his dance performance, which was horrible and exaggerated. After the “Macarena”, the supporters seemed less nervous and could help the team better singing and shouting. And what about the referee Garth Valxen? This time, there were no controversial plays, something impressive. But he had to appear in an incident of this game, like when a supporter threw a bottle of pinga on the field. Valxen slowly got the bottle, looked at the supporter, and threw the bottle back to him.

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: and finally Cafundéu gets the qualification that was awaited since the WC qualifiers started. The playoff games against Taeshan were two easy ones, and now the Monopolists will travel to Starblaydia or Kryenia to play in another World Cup. The coach Caio Meback said: “I’m relieved and satisfied that we’ve qualified. I’ve coached this team during a Cup of Harmony, but a World Cup is completely different. This team is ready to do a good performance, and we are willing to please the supporters.” The attacker Flecha said: “Now that the qualifiers have ended, it’s time for us to get prepared for the real World Cup. Now the games will be more difficult, but we will have extra motivation.”


CAFUNDÉU 2x0 TAESHAN

Place: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft.
Attendance: 238,460 people.
Referee: Garth Valxen (Wentland).
MOTM: Gian (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Moisés; Vital (Conceição 78’), Augusto César, Alex and Souza; Silveira, Gian, Da Silva (Careca 45’) and Marcelinho; Flecha and Saulo (Jorginho 73’).
Coach: Caio Meback.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/taeshan.png TAESHAN: Reunion; Riae and Raellis; Smyth, Zeke Jr. and Ying Uing (Sanchex 64’); Kitna, Williams, Falcon (Domingo 45’) and Hele.
Coach: Zeke.

Goals:CAF: Gian 68’ , Careca 76’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

12- Flecha
6- Saulo
4- Moreira, Marcelinho
3- Augusto César, Careca
2- Silveira, Da Silva, Alex
1- Rubiano, Carlos Magno, Gian