K-P-V World Cup 38: RP thread [Archive] - Page 3

Squornshelous

10-12-2007, 03:13

Squornshelous defeated Turori 5-2 while Demot annihilated Candelaria and Marquez 6-0 to advance on seven points out of nine at the top of group G. We now face Quakmybush and a very plausible path to a semifinal berth.

The Pschychoes, after twice allowing the opposition to score first this cup, found their form early and brought the hammer down on the Eels. With the midfield controlling the ball better than they had against C&M and the defense making fewer mistakes, the balls forward against the Turori goal were too numerous for the defense to cope with. Erkki Aatunen broke loose early for several runs through the offsides trap and opened the scoring at 21 minutes with a simple chip of the keeper once he'd got behind the defense. He struck again on a similar play just six minutes later, but this time, beat the keeper with a curling shot to the far side of the net, which went in off the woodwork.

Credit has to be given to Turori, they kept their composure and fought back to a draw before halftime on two excellently constructed plays from the wing, but their momentum was lost in the second of three minutes of added time when a third cross was cleared by Rassmus Pahlsson and started a counterattack. Aatunen recieved the ball from Joonas Kolkka, who had begun the attack, and then faked a shot, before passing across the top of the area to Vlastislav Prpic, who finished perfectly to sieze the initiative just before the break.

Turori began a brief resurgency, coming out after halftime, but another counterattack, this one following a corner kick that was too near keeper Kustaa Paavalainen, ended that. Aatunen, who was the catalyst off most of the Pschychoes' chances until he was subbed in the 65th, in favor of Johannes Axelsson's fresh legs, raced the defender to the corner and sent a cross into the middle of the area. The Eels' keeper chose not to attack the ball, and Caj Ilmari made him pay for it, heading it far beyond his reach to the bottom corner.

Axelsson recorded the final goal to put the match beyond all doubt in the 88th after a final desperate attack from the Eels, recieving a pass from Ilmari about thirty meters out. He made one move to shed his defender and open space before burrying a shot from long range.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 5-2 Turori

Squornshelous' Scorers:
scorer: total (finals)
Ilmari: 15 (4)
Aatunen: 7 (2)
Uolevi: 6 (1)
Prpic: 5 (1)
Tkermec: 4 (1)
Axelsson: 3 (1)
Markkunen: 3
Kolkka: 2
Demkjo: 1
Haakana: 1 (1)
Volodov: 1

Squornshelous are now due to face 23rd ranked Quakmybush in the second round. While the team certainly cannot afford to look too far ahead of this match and risk losing their focus, a win here, which would appear to be the likeliest of results, would send us to the quarterfinals against the winner of a match between 11th ranked Milchama and 31st ranked Yafor II. Ours is definitely the weakest quarter of the bracket, and Squornshelous stands a very real chance of returning to the semifinals for the first time since World Cup XXXI. There, we would likely face a more formidable opponent: the other quarter of our half of the bracket consists of the 20th ranked Holy Empire, 8th ranked Valanora, 6th ranked Demot and 4th ranked Capitalizt SLANI.

Qazox

10-12-2007, 05:59

JAN 15, 1934 (Pallona, Vephrall)

SCORING SUMMARY:
Novapsolu: Brent Brennan 15'
Novapsolu: Patrek Graves- 39'
Qazox: Yuzuki Reed- 48'
Novapsolu: Brad Simondi- 72'
Novapsolu: Brad Simondi- 80'
Qazox: Ty Reed- 92'

Today, what started as an rather dissapointing one, turned rather nasty later, I don't have much time I think before the team finds me and does whatever they did to the research team to me. After getting lambasted by Novapsolu 4-2 to finish as the 2nd worst perfroming team in the Cup (0-0-3 -5GD) the team promptly was loaded into the transport and we headed home.

While the research staff, led by the former Dr. Hadel continued to work on the synchronization problems of the bionics and nanoprobes, I slept in the front of the plane and when we landed in Area 50, the staff took the players off to do some more tests. About 2 minutes later the alarms began to sound and since I am a civilian, i was escorted to a secure area.

Which as it turns out is not secure enough. Within 30 minutes appearently the team had overwhelmed the base MPs, but they didn't kill them or disable them. They somehow turned the MPs into freaky cyborgs, as well as the entire research staff.

To whomever recieves this message, LAUNCH A NUCLEAR ATTACK ON THIS BASE RIGHT NOW! It maybe able to stop them before they figure out away off this base. And please forgive me for unleashing this horror on the nation. My misguided attempts at creating the perfect football players through technology will cause the end of the world and it's all my fault. They are breaking the door to this place down now.. please launch the attack soon.. no leave me alone.. i didn't mean for this to happen.. I'm sorry.. oh my god.. no..............................................

......WE ARE BORG....RESISTANCE IS FUTILE....

Northern Bettia

10-12-2007, 10:27

OOC: Disclaimer - Please note that being Northern Bettian, this news report is written from a highly biased point of view, and therefore not all facts stated may strictly be accurate. Any offence caused is strictly IC!

The Anyuna Observer: that cup will look good on my mantlepiece
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/nbet-badge.gif
The World Celebrates Fire Ants' Progress

Ulzaxid.......................................1 (Marc_J._Floren 34 pen)
Northern Bettia.......................1 (Shinobu 59)

Despite the best efforts of corrupt officials, cheating opponents and hot-headed policing, Northern Bettia's football team reached a magnificent milestone as they progressed past the group stages of the World Cup for the first time in their illustrious history.

After their honest, hard fought victories against Az-cz and Wentland, Northern Bettia's impeccably-behaved fans celebrated long into the night and on the streets in and around Gloem. Unfortunately, their celebrations were marred when a number of members of the Yuna Crew were ambushed at a service station by a large contingent of rival fans who attacked the innocent Bettian fans with a vast array of weapons, although the police later tried to turn the blame on the Northern Bettian fans by stating that the other fans were in fact unarmed pensioners.

Further trouble ensued at the turnstiles as hundreds of Northern Bettian fans were turned away, despite having genuine tickets. The head of the Kura-Pelland FA then callously rubbed salt into the supporters' wounds by stating "The tickets with which these so-called fans attempted to gain entry to the ground were crude forgeries - they bore none of the usual security measures, and generally speaking we don't print our tickets using felt-tip pens."

In the build-up, the Northern Bettian fans, eager to create a atmosphere worthy of the occasion, challenged their rival supporters to sing a song. When met with complete silence from the normally mute beings, laughter and encouraging cheers rang out form the amber and black half of the stadium. When the game got underway, it seemed evident that the ugly slimy aliens had indeed been unsettled as Northern Bettia dominated the early exchanges.

However, Ulzaxid were gifted a goal when Northern Bettia fell foul of yet another refereeing mistake, something which seems to have been a major feature of their campaign so far. The Fire Ants were without Blake Sitara for this match thanks to the red card he picked up against Az-cz, and so 19-year-old Harry Nino was entrusted with his full-back role for the seocnd game in a row. Nino was having a fine game, putting in many fine tackles which resulted in many of the physically weak Ulzaxid flat on their back needing treatment, much to the amusement of the Northern Bettian fans. Unfortunately, one such fine tackle was unfairly punished as Ganz_Ijak was adjudged to have been fouled inside the penalty area. It was obvious to everyone in the ground that it had made a meal of the tackle, even putting on a fake limp as it was helped to its feet. Striker Marc_J._Floren took the kick, and even though substitute goalkeeper Chris Monlu got a hand to it, it wasn't enough to stop it going in.

The Fire Ants refused to be taken aback by this misfortune and were quickly back into their stride. However, it wasn't until the second half was a quarter of an hour old before they were able to get back into the game as Northern Bettia won a free kick 30 yards out on the wing after Brian Suzuki was crudely tripped from behind, although TV pictures seemed to show that his marker made very little contact with him. Stu Koalla floated in a teasing cross across the face of the goal, and Dan Shinobu showed his aerial prowess with a trademark downward header into the bottom corner.

With two wins from their first two games, Northern Bettia were already assured of top spot in Group A because the only team that could beat them are their second beaten opponents Wentland, and so the Fie Ants proceeded to close out the game, reducing the final twenty minutes or so into a thrilling exhibition of possession football, with the full backs showing just how accurately they could pass the ball amoungst themselves.

Eventually, the referee blew the final whistle and wild celebrations started, which got even wilder when the news filtered through that Bettia had lost, therefore crashing out at the first round stage. Indeed, this a finish that everyone outside the colony could have expected - anyone who dared to doubt Northern Bettia's credentials on the world stage are now eating their foolish words. With the Fire Ants progressing further than their masters, playing the best football ever seen in this tournament and with their confidence sky high, surely no team can come close to denying them their first World Cup?

Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT...............VENUE......RESULT

Knockout Stages

2R: Ariddia................Pallona....

First Round, Group A

01: Az-cz..................Speilers...W 4-3
02: Wentland...............Tuffir.....W 5-2
03: Ulzaxid................Gloem......D 1-1

Qualifying Group 4

01: Bergelland.............Away.......W 3-1
02: Oliverry...............HOME.......W 3-2
03: The Pazhujeb Islands...HOME.......W 3-1
04: Sorthern Northland.....HOME.......L 2-3
05: Demot..................Away.......L 0-3
06: St Samuel..............Away.......W 2-1
07: Bumiroar...............Away.......W 4-1
08: Bergelland.............HOME.......W 2-0
09: Oliverry...............Away.......D 3-3
10: The Pazhujeb Islands...Away.......W 3-2
11: Sorthern Northland.....Away.......W 6-1
12: Demot..................HOME.......L 0-5
13: St Samuel..............HOME.......D 4-4
14: Bumiroar...............HOME.......W 4-1

Ariddia

10-12-2007, 11:37

Stunning defeat: Ariddia’s B-team collapses before Cafundéu

Having already secured qualification, Ariddian coach Jane Sanderson once again fielded the country’s “B-team” as starters for what was mostly a practice match against Cafundéu.

“We’re not taking it lightly,” Sanderson said. “We need to win in order to top the group and avoid Northern Bettia in the next round.”

Fielding backups against a skilled side such as Cafundéu was always going to be a high-risk strategy, and today it blew up in the Ariddians’ faces, in rather spectacular fashion.

Ötei Kim scored the opening goal for Ariddia in the thirteenth minute, capitalising on a long pass from Wendy Wu, and all looked well for the Rouge-et-Noirs. Heitor, however, wove his way through the Ariddian defence to equalise in the nineteenth, cancelling out Ariddia’s lead.

In the twenty-eighth minute, following a confusing corner kick and aftermath around Ariddian goalkeeper Laurent Malin’s cage, Marcelinho attempted a shot at a difficult, narrow angle. Malin moved to block it, while Jorge Neto closed in to edge it into the goalcage. The two men collided, and Malin spun round, his head hitting the sidepost. The ball bounced off Neto’s back, into the penalty area. Marsh tried to clear it, but was tackled fairly by Heitor, who nudged it in with the tip of his foot. Referee Fr. Lucas the Fair One whistled to confirm the goal, then called for medical assistance as Laurent Malin failed to get up. He sat up at last, with help from team mates Sul Io and Cindy Church, looking thoroughly dazed. Team doctors examined him, and asked to lead him off the field. Spectators in the stadium applauded politely, and third goalkeeper Anastasya Loskov (Knudsen was still out on injury) entered hastily to replace him.

The next quarter of an hour was relatively uneventful. Loskov saved two shots, but on the latter occasion was shown a yellow card for keeping the ball too long. What seemed like a minor detail then was to have serious repercussions very soon thereafter.

Sanderson made her two remaining substitutions during half-time, sending in Jeremy Isaacs and Naoki Tonnelier. Much to the concern of Ariddian supporters, Cafundéu’s lead increased in the forty-ninth minute, as the ball hurtled from Neto’s foot and into Loskov’s net. Seven minutes later, Loskov saved another shot, but appeared to hesitate with the ball, thinking for a while before she passed it on. Drawing on the rule book, referee Fr. Lucas blew his whistle and showed her another yellow card, followed –with mathematical inevitability– with a red. Loskov and her team mates were stunned. The crowd booed at a perceived unfairness. Loskov argued, joined by her captain, Jeremy Isaacs, who tried to persuade the referee. Camera zoom-ins and lip-readers were able to catch Isaacs’ words.

“You can’t accuse her of playing for time; we’re losing! We’re 3-1 down, for goodness’ sake! And what are we supposed to do if you send her off? We have no goalkeeper?”

The rules, however, were the rules. Boos from the crowd intensified against the unfortunate referee as Loskov left the field, visibly furious, shaking her head. And then the Rouge-et-Noirs were confronted with a problem they had never faced before:

They had, indeed, no goalkeeper.

Loskov had been the third goalie. Knudsen was unable to play. Malin indicated he was ready to go back onto the field in an emergency, despite still being groggy, but Sanderson had already made three substitutions, the maximum allowed. The ten players on the field –Levent, Isaacs, Tonnelier, Thomas, Lake, Kim, Church, Wu, Lush and Senecky– were all she had.

Jeremy Isaacs asked for a moment to get instructions from his coach, and approached the side of the field. He and Sanderson conversed quickly, then Sanderson announced that Yves Levent, one of the defenders, would have to serve as goalkeeper. Jean-Charles Thomas would fall back from midfield to defence. And everyone would hope this fragile and unorthodox formation could pull off the improbable.

Levent put on the goalie’s gloves and green jersey, without saying a word. His expression was calm, virtually unreadable. The match resumed.

Ariddian supporters were undoubtedly filled with worry, but cheered up a little when Miranda Lake scored for the Rouge-et-Noirs in the sixty-sixth minute, narrowing the gap. But Cafundéu had a golden opportunity to forge ahead, and were not about to waste it.

Despite good efforts from Isaacs, Tonnelier and Thomas, who held the Cafundelense attackers back on several occasions, Heitor scored again in the seventy-sixth minute. In the eighty-second minute, Flecha outpaced the Ariddian defence, and Yves Levent, struggling as goalkeeper for the first time in his life, was in no position to save the superb shot which resulted. Down by two goals to five, with fewer than nine minutes left on the clock, the Rouge-et-Noirs went into “all out attack” mode. Their defence was now virtually open, enabling Anormal to strike the killer blow, scoring in the eighty-ninth minute, with eighty-four seconds left to play.

Ariddian coach Jane Sanderson was very frank after the match: “That was a disaster. We have a huge problem.” With Loskov barred from playing the next game, supporters are hoping anxiously that either Knudsen or Levent will be fit to play the round of sixteen match against Northern Bettia. If not, the Ariddians will find themselves in the absurb position of going into a crucial game without a trained goalkeeper.

“The problem wasn’t just that we had no goalkeeper today,” Sanderson said. “To say that would be unfair to Cafundéu. Our team’s playing was inferior to the Cafundelense right from the start. Two years ago, during the qualifiers, we looked like the best team in the world. We’ve slipped, and now we absolutely need to get back up there with the very best, where we belong.”

This is the first World Cup match the Rouge-et-Noirs have lost since their astonishing World Cup 37 1-4 loss to Demot. Conceding six goals is almost unheard of for Ariddia. In comparison, during the qualifying stages, the Rouge-et-Noirs conceded an average of just 1.17 goals per match.

The most startling result of today’s round, however, was perhaps Errinundera’s 1-1 draw against Ad’ihan, sending the hypoethical championship favourites crashing out of the Cup.

“I’d been hoping for another Errinundera-Ariddia final,” one fan said glumly. “Now we don’t know whether we’ll even get to the quarters.”

Sho “still confident” in Ariddian side

Former Rouge-et-Noirs star Ke Sho (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/ke_sho.html) watched the game from his home in Cafundéu, with Cafundelense wife Célia and 11 year-old son José.

“I’m pleased that Cafundéu is doing so well,” Ke Sho said, in his native Wymgani. He admits that Ariddia’s shock defeat surpised him, but adds: “I’m still confident in them. They’re the Rouge-et-Noirs! They’re world champion material. They just need to realise that.”

Young José is looking to follow in his father’s footsteps, and perhaps one day play for Cafundéu’s national side. He is already by far his school’s best player.

“If Ariddia and Cafundéu were together in the final, that would be good,” he says, in Cafundelês. “Of course, I’d have to support Cafundéu!”

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_ariddian_isles.png Ariddian Isles 2-6 Cafundéu http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png

Jeruselem

10-12-2007, 12:26

The Crown Prince was looking at his wife Kate Dallas sitting in the garden crying. Every since she came back after the team had missed out on making the 2nd round by not much, she was depressed blaming herself for the team's failure although it wasn't. Everyone tried to talk her out of it but she blamed herself for the failure taking the responsibility for the team. The Dallas girls always set high benchmarks - and sometimes they failed. The target was the 2nd round, anything else was a failure.

Prince: We have to do something!
Queen: Like what, she's gone into that Dallas sulk mode.
Prince: Well, best asking a Dallas to fix it then.
Queen: Good idea, I guess we have to.

<Later>

Prince: Dazza, what's that?
Dazza: Four hundred year old sword, why?
Prince: Right ... what are we doing with it?
Dazza: She's a Ninja! Took me ages to get this.

Kate: Hi Mum ...
Dazza: Look Katey girl, look!
Kate: It's ... is it!
Dazza: Oh yeah, it's the real thing.

Prince: Err, what are you going to with that.
Kate: (playing with sword) This is ... perfection. I could split a human skull in one second. Look at the cutting blade, it's what I've been looking for.
Dazza: It's yours baby.
Prince: Good thing she's on my side.

Kate: (stops sulking) OK, where are those terrorists! I want to chop them to pieces!
Prince: Now, that's the Kate Dallas I want to see.
Kate: Yeah, bring them on! I'm ready!
Dazza: See, I know her very well. Well, she is like me!

Prince: Great, instead of depressed sulking wife - I have got a sword wielding maniac. Kate, we shot most of the terrorists.
Kate: Those ones can go to hell, I want to get at the other ones.
Dazza: Hey, so why did you marry her again?
Prince: For the excitment I guess.

Dazza: You found the right family there!
Kate: Yeah, come on man! Let's finish off this scum!
Prince: Where does this bloodlust come from? I don't seem to have it.
Dazza: We're descended from some Crusaders who moved to Arridia later. Arridia made us soft and comfy, but in Jeruselem we're back our worst!

Alasdair I Frosticus

10-12-2007, 13:45

IT'S....

THE WORLD CUP SHOW

With Basil & Theo

"..stumbled into the second round following that rather disappointing loss to Milchama."

"A typical Dreamed Realm performance, Theo - one win, one loss, one draw. It's rather too much to ask that either ourselves or the Archregimancy do these things easily."

"Still, I was rather hoping that last night's magnificent pre-match performance of the kiri nō Math Fab Mathonwy would have lifted the lads, Basil."

"Maybe it did, but whatever strange rubber chicken-sacrificing rituals the opposition were up to before the match lifted them more."

"Still, Basil, Ad'ihan's draw against a strangely limp Errinundera side - who have now managed the possibly unprecedented feat of going through the qualifiers and the Cup proper undefeated without making the second round of the Cup - has sent us through...."

"To face the Capitalizt SLANI, Theo. And the question on every Imperial football fan's lips is 'do we stand a chance'. And to answer that, we have in the studio a very special guest: the ancient Welsh ninja lord coaching the Imperial Squad in this World Cup. So, great master - what are our chances against the SLANI?"

"He who plays football by means of his virtue may be compared to Mount Snowdon, which keeps its place while all the hills turn towards it. In the Book of the Bards are three hundred pieces of Welsh poetry, but the design of them all may be embraced in one sentence 'Have no depraved thoughts.' If both teams be led by rules alone, and uniformity sought to be given them by yellow cards, they will try to avoid the cards, but have no sense of shame. If they be led by virtue, and uniformity sought to be given them by the rules of propriety, they will have the sense of shame, and moreover will become good."

"Umm, yes - but what about our tactics against one of the most consistently-successful teams in World Cup history, oh Wise One?"

"At fifteen, I had my mind bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was an obedient organ for the reception of truth. At seventy, I could follow what my heart desired, without transgressing what was right.

So have I instructed the team: See what the opposing player does. Mark him closely. Examine in what things he rests. How can an opponent conceal his character? If a team keeps cherishing their old tactics, so as continually to be acquiring new, they may be teachers of others. The accomplished coach is not a utensil."

"If I can just interject there... what do you think are the characteristics of a superior Welsh ninja footballer, oh Reverenced Teacher?"

"He acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his actions. The superior player holds broad footballing interests and is not partisan. Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous. The study of strange tactics is, however, injurious indeed! Theo, shall I teach you what knowledge is? When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it; this is knowledge."

"But, oh master of Welsh ninjadom, can you predict the results of the second round?"

"Basil, Hywel the Good followed the regulations of Welsh Law: wherein he took from or added to them may be known. Llewellyn the Last followed the regulations of Hywel the Good: wherein he took from or added to them may be known. Some teams may win through to the quarterfinals, but though it should be at the distance of a couple of days, the results may not be known. For a man to sacrifice to a spirit which does not belong to him is flattery. To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage. Thank you. That is all I shall say."

"Well, thank you, oh Mighty Ninja Lord for sharing your, erm, priceless dew drops of wisdom. Not sure we're any the wiser here in the studio, but hopefully the SLANI will be thoroughly confused. This is Theo, and he's Basil - we'll be back soon enough!"

Candelaria And Marquez

10-12-2007, 13:56

After…

The hushed silence that had descended over the assembled journalists after the confirmation of Ricardo Garcia’s impending arrival was dissipating fast as time rolled on. The representatives from the Herald, Mercury, El periodico, National Reporter, Gassett Candelariasian and the like were swapping possible headlines over in a corner. “C&M Demoted by Druids” was the popular choice, though the Mercury’s “Sickle as a Parrot” had attracted some admiring comments. The Herald’s typically wordy “Big Blues fall to worst ever defeat and World Cup exit” seemed to sum things up best, however.

The TV crews from Demot, Kura-Pelland, and a smattering of other foreign individuals had wandered off as Garcia’s lateness to the press conference tipped over the three-quarters-of-an-hour mark.

Finally, Tracker Edwards of the Herald stuck up his biro.

“Hello, Tracker Edwards, the Albrecht Herald. Statistically, that was C&M’s worst ever defeat on the football field. How do you pick the players up after a performance like that?”

“.....................................................................”

“That’s good to hear obviously,” Edwards remarked to giggles from his fellow hacks. “What about your own role? It’s been a mixed bag of results here in Kura-Pelland – do you think it will be enough for the CMAFA to keep you in the manager’s position?”

“....................................................................”

“Hi, Dogan Daniels, the Albrecht Mercury,” interrupted Dogan Daniels of the Albrecht Mercury. “You made some brave calls out there at the start of the game; dropping Zaghloul after his performance against Squornshelous, playing a half-fit Jos Cornelisse, breaking up the Young-Fu axis in favour of Revault? Do you regret any of those decisions?”

“.................................................”

“What about the substitutions? We were 2-0 down at half-time: should you have made changes then instead of waiting until the seventy-fifth minute when it was basically all over? And what did you feel introducing Doug Szczechowicz would achieve?”

“..........................................”

“Hello, Mr. Garcia. Keenan Bailey, TV1. I know you said you didn’t want to complain about the ref, but you must have some things to say about that first goal. Do you really think it was a penalty?”

“....”

“But if that was the case, should Fu have been sent off?”

“..”

“Give the poor man more time to answer, Kee,” James Singer of the National Reporter laughed.

“Can you confirm that Harry Primrose is a raging homosexual?” asked Pablo Ipiña of El periodico del Arrigo.

“.”

“Where we you on the night of October 27th?” asked Rasmus Zibert of the Abiodun Express & Sun.

“.”

“Animal, vegetable or mineral?” asked Roland Jongbloed of the Melin Post

“Isn’t this fun?” remarked David Postiga of the Clotaire Trumpet.

Tracker Edwards gave him a look. “Where the bleedin’ hell is everyone?” he opined.

Also after, but more or less simultaneously with the above

“I thought I should probably come and get you,” a minor secret service man was explaining to Lyndon Hernández, chairoftheallpartyparliamentarygrouponrushmoriagriculturalsubsidiesandministerforrationalthought. “The players all had a go, but he’s not budging.”

Hernández saw the crowd of C&M internationals first, milling about with faces bearing a broad mixture of concern, panic and annoyance. His eyes followed the players’ upwards, to a spot on a ridiculously narrow ledge on the main Bank in Parwood.

And on said ledge stood Ricardo Garcia. Quite how the coach had managed to get up there was anybody’s guess. He wobbled.

Hernández quietly put his head in his hands. “What is it with Candelariasians and tall buildings in Kura-Pelland?” he muttered. “It’s like a magnetic attraction.”

“Sir…” Martino began as Garcia narrowly avoided loosing his footing.

Hernández decided to take charge, muscling through the pack of onlookers. This didn’t take long; Candelariasian suicide attempts being all rather passé in Vircais these days.

“Ric!” Hernández called out. “Ricky, Ricko, mate, amigo… Hi. Um.” He leant towards his assistant. “What does one say in these situations?”

“There’s nothing you can say in this situation!” Garcia screamed over the wind.

“Now, come on, Rick. Mate. There’s no need for all this, is there? Drawing attention to ourselves and…”

“But I failed,” Garcia bawled. “We failed and it’s all my fault!”

“No, nononono. You were under a lot of pressure, mate! No-one expected us to do as well as we did anyway, an–”

“Are we or are we not the cup’s darlings?!”

“Bloody gnomes,” Hernández muttered, not for the first time. He turned back to Garcia. “I know six-nil is a godawful scoreline, Ric, but they’re a very good team. By all accounts we really were punching above our weight even making this cup never mind picking up four points! That’s more than… than…”

“Jeruselem,” Daniel Martino offered. “Errinundera? Novap–”

“We don’t talk about them,” Hernández hissed.

Up on the ledge, Garcia began to sob again. “You can say what you like,” he muttered with none but himself able to hear. “I made stupid decisions.” He sniffed. “And I’m so tired… I just want to sleep forever.”

Mark Baker put a comforting hand on his former No.1’s shoulder. “Now come on, Ric. It’s a bad result, but… It’ll seem better in the morning. You see.”

“I failed them, Bakes. I failed everyone.”

“People back home won’t see it like that. You did good, really. Now, come on… You don’t want to cause a scene, do you?”

“No…”

“Gowon. Get yourself back down to the surface. By the stairs, I mean, not…”

Garcia smiled. “No, you’re right. Everything…” He yawned. “Everythin’ll seem better in the morning…”

The former C&M manager gave him an affectionate pat on the back as the current C&M manager began the long walk back to ground level. Baker waited until he was sure he was out of sight before disintegrating into a pile of maggots.

Minutes later, Hernández and Martino watched as a motley collection of Candelariasian and Kura-Pellandi officials and white-clad gentlemen took Garcia by any available appendage and hurried him off.

“Could’ve done without that,” Hernández commented. He turned to Martino. “Dan, get on the phone back to the ministry. Make sure they cut PINA feeds, at least for tonight. Restrict access to TheeTelly too, if you can.”

“Are you sure this really matters, sir?”

“International manager goes bonkers during World Cup finals? It may attract a teensy bit of press coverage, yeah. Which means more international broadcasters noticing us, which means more reporters poking their noses into our affairs, which means curtains, I think you’ll agree.”

Martino nodded. “Once again, your foresight astounds me, sir.”

“Danny, get bent, mate. I need to have a little chat with Edwards and co., I reckon…”

“That’s not the actual catchphrase, you know, sir…”

Later…

Lyndon Hernández awoke to two unwelcome sensations.

The first was the clamminess of the Kura-Pellandi night that his Home Office-issue pyjamas were doing nothing to combat.

The second was the distinct feeling that someone was sitting on top of him. This wasn’t an overly common occurrence, and certainly not in foreign lands. The minister readied himself and opened his eyes.

A naked, browny-reddy-greeny creature about half the size of a man and with a certain larval quality about it was sitting on top of his chest, hugging its knees. It craned its neck to catch Hernández’s eye, and grinned sheepishly.

“’Ullo.”

“Uh. Hi.”

There was a brief impasse. The creature fingered its left nostril awkwardly.

“I don’t believe we’ve met,” Hernández ventured.

“Nah. I, um, kinda came to say sorry. Sorry.”

“Um. You couldn’t get off me and then do that, could you?”

“Well. Nah. I’m kinda more comfortable up here, if yeh don’t mind. It’s how I usually meet people, y’know? Face t’ face, if you will.”

“Oh well, as long as you’re comfortable…”

“So, thing is, right, I got this call a few months back from me cousin – I mean, when I say cousin I mean like fifth-cousin-thrice-removed-by-marriage-hold-the-mustard type cousin, but… Anyways, he going spare about how the humans of yer Candelariaandmarquez were playing this sport thing all round the world an’ drawing attention t’ yehselves an’ makin’ yer people think they were more important than they actually were an’ startin’ t’ ask questions about all us lot and blah-di-blah-di-blah-di-blah, sos, right, when I gets wind that Squornshelous is gunna be playin’ your team, right, I –”

“You’re a Squornshelan svart,” Hernández said dispassionately.

“Yeah. It’s yer Nordics, innit? They go off colonising the world and we think, hey, what the Hel; Nidavellir’s getting’ proper crowded these days anyway, so…”

“Um, s-sorry to keep on about this, but you sound more Cockney than anything…”

“Yeah. You peoples find it comforting, y’know?”

“You’re thinking of Scottish and Geordie, I think.”

“Naaah. It’s the unanticipated juxtaposition of the East End drawl wiv me bein’…”

“An imp?”

“Imp’ll do. Anyways, so’s I cadge a lift wiv the Squornshelans over here and ‘av a go wiv yer ol’ pitch an’ toss, thought I’d give ‘im a few sleepless nights, bad dreams, wacky ideas, and you’d fail miserably an’ that’d be that. Only, he went a bit more chicken oriental than I’d hoped, so he ends up doin’ the whole standing-on-the-edge-uvva-tall-building thing meanin’ that yous country attracts even more unwelcome attention an’…”

Hernández, whose brain was working at several seconds behind the pace of the conversation interrupted; “So, it was you who sent Garcia all doolally?”

“Soz.”

“No, no… Not to worry. Least done soon as mended, or something… It was nice of you to make an effort, Mr… Um. Álfar. Don’t worry, we’ll deal with Garcia.”

The svart looked relieved.

“Um. ‘Don’t suppose you’ve any idea where our svarts have buggered off to, do you?”

“Nah. But if they’re missin’, they’ll soon turn up. By all accounts, they likes it darn there in yer sewers.”

“That’s good to know.”

A pause followed as the two tried not to look at each other.

“So…”

“’Don’t suppose I could interest you inna nightmare, could I?” the svart asked hopefully.

“Um, not really…”

“Bit of sleep paralysis? Just for a few minutes, gowon, while I’m here.”

“To be honest, I’ve got a bit of a long flight back home tomorrow morning and the jetlag’s going to be awful anyway, so…”

“Oh!” the svart exclaimed brightly. “Well, I could have a word wiv the jetlag pixies and see if they c–”

“Oh-kay,” Hernández interjected, feeling that the course of preceedings had bobbled over even his weirdness threshold. He shut his eyes. “It’s been a long day, so if you wouldn’t mind…”

“Oh.”

Hernández felt the svart move off his chest, drop down onto the carpet and heard it slowly shift out of normal reality. The minister kept his eyes firmly shut and waited several minutes until he was sure the creature had gone, before getting out of bed for a well-earned wee.

Cafundeu

10-12-2007, 15:05

Tynelia

10-12-2007, 15:09

“Agent Jones, Agent White how good of you to get here so promptly.” Agent Smith began as the two arrived in his office. Agent White looking far more nervous of the two.

“Yes sir we’re here as ordered.” Agent Jones replied in a calm sounding voice.

“Of course you are, now might one of you explain to me just how exactly Tynelia, under that religious nutbag’s captainship has accomplished its first ever clean sweep of the group stage to get to the knockouts in a winnable match against a lower ranked Bostopian club to boot?” Agent Smith asked calmly.

“Well sir it seems our methods were inappropriately executed allowing…” Jones began before Smith cut him off with a gesture and turned his piercing gaze to Agent White who visibly blanched under the attention.

“Not you Jones, I wish to hear what Agent White has to say for herself. This was your first assignment since becoming White rank is it not?” he asked reasonably.

“Yes sir, it was.”

“And were you not given ample opportunity to act to prevent the team’s advancement in order to discredit the NOCCRO when we would then reveal Coach Andrews was part of their cult?” Smith went on.

“Well yes sir but you see, first Coach took them to a restaurant so I couldn’t poison the team, then the workers spilled the punch cooler after I poisoned it before the Geisenfried match and then I tried to sabotage the team bus so we’d lose by forfeit to Zwangzug but I don’t really know much about buses and they sent another bus over anyway so we ended up showing up on time.” White said beginning to babble in her haste.

“I see what about your support team?” Smith asked growing more intense. “Surely you could have coordinated something with them?”

“Support team sir?” Agent White asked looking confused.

“Yes didn’t Agent Jones send a support team with you to set everything up and help you in your mission?” Smith asked a faint note of surprise and disapproval in his tone.

“I…um… didn;lt know there was anyone else working with me, it was just Agent Jones who…” White began before getting cut off.

“You may leave now Agent White. Return to your post and remember your cover story, you were visiting a sick relative. You will receive further word afterwards.”

“Yes sir.” White replied looking nervously at Agent Jones before running off. After she left the room Agent Smith turned to Agent Jones and in a very disapproving tone began.

“So Agent Jones, you sent a raw rookie White grade agent into one of the most important missions in the country right now without even a support team? I’m surprised she actually managed to discover the cultist under those circumstances. What were you thinking Agent Jones? No one short of Adams rank should have been sent into something like this solo.”

“Well sir you are aware of the budget cuts recently and…”

“You IDIOT! Getting rid of these cultists is a directive that comes straight from the Triangular Office itself. Vinlis are no object when it comes to a Presidential directive. Do you realize what has happened now? We outrank Bostopia and will actually be favored. We outrank Northern Bettia who we could play next. Our only hope is if we win here that Arridia beats NB takes our team out. And getting that far would be the most successful run ever for us. Do you know how much more expensive and difficult it would be to remove Andrews then and the fiasco that would take place? Even the Az-cz press actually lists us as one of the top teams now. Tynelia NEVER gets mentioned in their lists until now. I have Agent Black gathering all paperwork and intel off Andrews hard drive as we speak. Maybe he’ll come up with something we can use to get rid of him legally. What is it with you Jones anyway? Every mission I assign you Jones against the cultists you botch miserably!” Agent Smith interrupted.

“I’ll get it fixed, I’ll send a team down there and…”

“Its too late now you fool. The team made it too far. If we only made the discovery sooner we could have moved more effectively. Now we just have to see what happens.”

“But if Agent White takes the field and scores some own goals maybe…”

“Agent White will not get the playing time needed at this stage. After all we had to cause that waterskiing accident with David Michaels just so she could make the team after she was the last person cut. She’ll be riding the bench at this stage.” Smith pointed out.

“Well there’s always the Kingston initiative.” Jones ventured.

“Those cultists don’t need a martyr to go with their new saint. A pity really, McPhee was considered to be a potential recruit before he went cultist. No we just have to let it ride and hope for the best now. Thanks to you. This will of course be part of your record.” Smith warned.

“Yes sir, sorry sir, had Agent White done as instructed…”

“No passing the buck either Jones. White was way over her head here and we both know it. Your penny pinching may cost us all now. Now get out of here before I demote you Agent Jones.”

“Yes sir.”

<Elsewhere>

Andrews Comes Clean!

After Tynelia’s victory over Zwangzug whioch gave them a perfect 3-0-0 record for the first time ever in World Cup play, Coach Jim Andrews made the shocking announcement that he owed it all to the Lord of Scores as he officially declared himself to be a member of the New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy.

“It was clear to me after so many years that defense would not let Tynelia make the next step in the World Cup. So three years ago I did some soul searching and realized that only the path of the Lord of Scores would grant us success. Last Cup the government tried balance and we did better than ever before. So it was clear that by following the Lord of Scores plan of attacking and aggressiveness we could move even beyond that to heights never before seen in Tynelian soccer.

“I kept it secret I admit because I didn’t want to bring disfavor on the Lord of Scores if the team did poorly, but they embraced His style and went on to a solid qualifying effort and an incredible Cup run through the group of very tough teams. Clearly a sign the Lord of Scores has blessed this new path of ours. I should have shown more faith in the Lord but I’m still new at all this religious stuff. Sometimes its tough but now I know better.” Andrews said after making his announcement, relief in his eyes quite clear at unburdening himself of this secret.

The Tynelian Soccer Federation was questioned as to the legality of a religious person coaching the teams but it was noted that Greg Tudor, Tynelia’s third coach was Anglican and that the now jailed Seamus Flannigan O’Connell, the second coach was a Catholic, so religion is no bar to coaching.

The spokesman for the New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy, Brother James Kendericks was happy to add the following. “Our brother James has done great work for the Lord of Scores in his efforts for the team and it is our devoted hope that he continues his fine work for His cause. See how offense trumps all in the Cup. Only through greater scores can any team move on. So sayeth the gospel of our Lord and His Prophetess Margaret.”

Az-cz

10-12-2007, 16:10

Amda-Mo: Well we survived for at least another round with a 2-1 win over Wentland. How did we get it together to pull off the victory?

Lur-Mn: Shockey got the team focused, the defense tightened up and the other super kid saved the day. But Shockey has to get the credit here. Word is that he kicked the coaches out of the locker room at half time when we trailing at the break and got them to come together.

Amda-Mo: So would you say that in the second half it was mostly changes on our part rather than something on Wentland's?

Lur-Mn: Yes. Shockey played like a man possessed. We looked much better in the second half and with Shockey leading the mood Rahim punched the right sub button, bringing Su-Wee on for Kenyon and she picked up a stunning brace, firing in the two Az-cz goals in the 72nd and 80th minutes to give us the victory.

Amda-Mo: So based on what happened in this match what do we do going forward?

Lur-Mn: Keep fighting. I don't know what else to say. We played hard in the second half and we played determined football and got the job done. We know what we're capable and if we play to our standards we should beat anyone.

Amda-Mo: Let's look at the first team we'll face, Cafundeu. They obliterated Ariddia today 6-2.

Lur-Mn: That's true, although there were some fishy circumstances involving a very stiff red card for the Ariddian back up keeper. Still Cafundeu were the better team on the day by a considerable margin.

Amda-Mo: So what do we to stop the Cafundeu juggernaut?

Lur-Mn: Let's hope coach Rahim knows better than I do. My guess is he'll kick the tempo up even more and hope we can run them ragged. I think the key will be keeping equal or going ahead early. If Cafundeu gets momentum they'll be tough, but if they need to score late I think our players will be much calmer than Cafundeu's and we should have the stamina advantage as well. If the game goes to extra time I like our chances.

Amda-Mo: What about the role of the two players who have experience in the Cafundeu league?

Lur-Mn: Well clearly Shockey will use his knowledge of Cafundeu to help us, but I doubt we'll see much of Fe-Do, despite his knowledge of the squad. He's clearly no better than the fifth striker after Su-Wee's performance today and that means not much playing time. Encouragement from the sideline and answering some questions from the coaches will probably be the extent of his involvement.

Amda-Mo: Ok. Well we survived so this list is still of some interest to us. Who are the top six teams going into the knockout rounds.

6. Elves Security Forces

The Elves topped their group apparently two good teams in it as Bettia is definitely one and the sharks seemed to be a second. We'll find out how good that actually is soon enough in the derby against Demot.

5. Squornshelous

Of the non top teams Squornshelous definitely looked the most impressive. Demot and Candelaria & Marquez both looked like strong squads, so to beat Demot and draw with C & M is a nice feat.

4. Tynelia

They rampaged through their group culminating in a 3-1 smack down of Zwangzug. It's a little bit hard to believe it but they look like actual competitors to win the crown. The potential's been there for a while but actually putting it together has been tought for them.

3. Sel Appa

The Turtles continued to roll sending the princesses home. A very nice run in qualifiers has lead into a very nice group stage and they've shown that Sel Appa has joined Demot and us in the very top ranks of the world, showing the strength of the world cup 30 class.

2. Commerce Heights

They smacked around a good Oliverry team to continue their great campaign and yet they fell. But let's be clear they're very worthy of the number one ranking. With any kind of a regular performance they'd still be there. It's just that the team ahead of them had an amazing game.

1. Cafundeu

No matter the circumstances six goals and a four goal victory over the number one team in the world makes you take note. They are looking great.
Just one note though, if I recall correctly, I had Bettia as the number one team in the cup and us struggling, but we put it together to beat them, so it's possible we'll do the same here.

Amda-Mo: Please come back and join us as we root on the team to repeat their miracle run from last cup.

Az-cz

10-12-2007, 16:40

Az-cz Scroll
Az-cz
Il-Lur

Race to the finish

With the group stage now behind us it's the last time this cup for me to pat myself on the back for my wonderful predictions so far and enlighten you with my wisdom going forward. Or if you prefer the more realistic approach, berate myself for messing up again and making random stabs in the dark mostly to tick off the Vilitans. So here we go

Group A

I said that Northern Bettia would win the group and we'd come in second. Called this one to a T.

Group B

Well I got the two advancing teams right, but if you saw Ariddia losing 6-2 to Cafundeu you should move out to Pallona. There's a full time prognosticating career waiting for you.

Group C

Not a very good job here. I totally whiffed on Tynelia. Seeing Zwangzug through when the fourth team Geisenfried is not exactly Dragon Pharoah kind of work. And poor Bazalopes they really wiped out this cup.

Group D

Well the Turtles lived up to their billing and it was the Jeruselem - Bostopia match that decided it, but it was Firth's brother doing ones who pulled out the necessary three points.

Group E

Well I got Milchama right and though I didn't see Errinundera's failure I did say that it would be tough and knew that Alasdair I Frosticus would be tough. So that's like half credit.

Group F

Commerce Heights rolled as expected but Yafor II made me regret my new Northern Caesarea comments. I'm not sure how they find results as it seems like they should lose, but they keep doing it.

Group G

Right on out here. Called the two advancing teams and was correct in Candelaria & Marquez being tough and Turori being lunch.

Group H

The biggest shocker of the cup as somehow Quakmybush beat Bettia to qualify along with the elves. Definitely my biggest mulligan as I had the Aroras romping all the way to the title.

Now going forward I'm clearly going to have to shake things up again. Perhaps I could go back to my original pick of Milchama? The safe pick of Ariddia. Here's what I actually think, with a first look at the matchups

Northern Bettia v Ariddia
Tynelia v Bostopia
Cafundéu v Az-cz
Sel Appa v Zwangzug
Milchama v Yafor II
Squornshelous v Quakmybush
The Holy Empire v Capitalizt SLANI
Valanora v Demot

I think the cheats will come to their end here at the hands of the Ariddians. Tynelia will continue their stunning run of form to move onto the quarterfinals. We'll keep our streak alilve and the Turtles won't be going back into their shell yet. Milchama and Squornshelous should both push the overachievers out of the cup. Commerce Heights will bounce the Holy Empire and Demot won't be going near the finals again as they lose to their rivals from Elves Security Forces.

That would leave these matches:

Ariddia v Tynelia
Az-cz v Sel Appa
Milchama v Squornshelous
Commerce Heights v Elves Security Forces

Ariddia will be the team that ends the Tynelian's best cup run. Sel Appa will finally earn themselves some pride against us and get to be the team that ends our reign as champs. Squornshelous will be too much for the warriors and Commerce Heights will outscore the elves.

Semifinals:

Ariddia v Sel Appa
Squornshelous v Commerce Heights

The turtles are good, but Ariddia they are not. Watch as the Rouge-et-noirs make their fifth finals in seven cups where they'll meet up with Commerce Heights.

Third place:

Sel Appa v Squornshelous

Using the same dubious logic I always do I think Sel Appa will try harder and therefore earn the win.

Finals:

Ariddia v Commerce Heights

This has been the match that's been seeminly expected since Commerce Heights has gotten hot. Does Ariddia join Rejistania and Bedistan on top of the world? The answer is...................
.
.
.
.

.

.
.
.
.
NO!

I think the Slanis will be the team to end the Ariddian on off performance and earn a second champonship.

Cafundeu

10-12-2007, 18:51

OLHO NO LANCE! YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE!
$PECIAL $ECTION

WORLD CUP 38 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE - WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA
Written by Sílvio Ruiz, with comments from TV made by Breno Gavião

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MAGNÍFICO JOGO! CAFUNDÉU DERROTA ARIDDIA EM SENSACIONAL GOLEADA!

http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/2161/betaocorinthians0810200zq3.jpg
Ferreira commemorates goal of friend Flecha

Already qualified for the next stage of the World Cup, Cafundéu left Pallona to face Ariddia in the last game of the group stage, to decide which country would finish in the first position of the group. The Monopolists had the advantage of the draw, but knew that the opponent was a strong team, currently the best of the world. Braddock put the main team, but Ariddia didn’t do the same, fielding the reserves. If the Cafundelenses were already confident that the team was able to defeat the main team of Ariddia, their confidence was increased after they discovered that.

Changes and Absences: Marcelinho substitutes the injured Rato.
Formation: offensive 4-4-2.
Opponent: three-times champs Ariddia, currently the best team of the world, playing with the substitute 11 players.

THE FIRST HALF: with both teams having an offensive strategy, the game was very open, and the attacks fast and dangerous. Ariddia, even without its main players, could attack well, threatening Lauro. Cafundéu used well the wings with Léo Mattos and Toninho, with the help of the creative midfielders Marcelinho and Neto. But the Monopolists suffered the first goal of the game after the tenth minute. Wu’s pass reached Kim, who sent the ball to Lauro’s goal. Cafundéu reacted fast, scoring too. Marcelinho found Heitor in a good position, and passed the ball to him. The attacker invaded the area and shot to score his goal.

The game continued well disputed, but another quality of the Cafundelense players helped the team: the will to fight for the goal. Nearly the thirteenth minute, Marcelinho was able to shoot a ball that seemed lost, sending it to the area. The goalkeeper Malin and Neto went to try to get the ball, and collided. The ball continued inside the area, in the middle of the confusion, with many players trying to get the ball. A defender was able to get it, but Heitor acted fast to take the ball and finally send it to the goal. After the goal was scored, doctors entered in the field. Malin got injured after colliding with Neto, hitting the head in the post. Loskov entered in his place. Cafundéu was able to hold the positive result until the end of the first half.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Heitor’s second goal): “Corrrrrner kick to Cafundéu. This time, Verrrrrgarrrrra will take it. A bad crrrrrossing... Marrrrrcelinho rrrrrreaches it! Neto against the goalkeeper... what happened? The ball is still in the arrrrrea, Neto and the keeper on the grrrrrround, the playerrrrrs go after the ball, a mess inside the arrrrrea... the defender will clear... Heitor takes the ball, to scorrrrre... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! I need to see the rrrrreplay to underrrrrstand this play! Heitor, number eleven! Cafundéu two, Arrrrriddia one! Want to see your old white clothes rrrrreally white? White as if they werrrrre new? So use LimpaBrrrrranco to clean your white clothes!”

http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/2995/01092305100iq4.jpg
Franz Braddock happy with the result

THE SECOND HALF: Ariddia put two starters in the defence for the second half. A move that confused some supporters, as the team was losing the game, and needed to play with its best attackers. And the entrance of the defenders wasn’t effective in the beginning of the second half, as Neto received the ball from Anormal, stopped, and shot to score the goal. The situation for Ariddia got worse when the goalkeeper received the second yellow card, for holding the ball. The monk didn’t hesitate to sent her off. Many players complained. It was a strange situation, people saying that a monk, titled “the Fair One”, was unfair in his decision. Nothing could change the fact that Loskov was sent off, and Ariddia had to put a defender in the goalkeeper’s place.

In a surprising reaction, Lake was able to score with an intelligent shot from outside the area. But Cafundéu was really with the advantage. Winning the game, with one player more and with a goalkeeper. The victory was close, and Heitor scored to make these feelings stronger. Cafundéu attacked well with the three attackers (Ferreira entered in the second half), and the defence of Ariddia, even with players of the main team, wasn’t able to hold the Monopolists. Flecha could invade the area and scored in the thirty-seventh minute. And, when the game was coming to an end, Anormal used his known long shot ability to score the last goal of the game, in a historical game for Cafundéu.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Heitor’s third goal): “Ball to the attack. Laurrrrro takes the goal kick with strrrrrength. Anorrrrrmal wins in the aerrrrrial dispute against Churrrrrch. The midfielder passes the ball to Heitor... excellent drrrrribble over Isaacs, he shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! A rrrrreplay is coming! Heitor, number eleven! Cafundéu four, Arrrrriddia two! Getting marrrrried? Hosting a parrrrrty? Want to see prrrrrofessionals coverrrrring your event? Hirrrrre Jutense Eventos, the best in prrrreparrrrring events!”

CURIOUS MOMENTS: it rained before the game, something that wasn’t expected by the experts. In the first minutes of the game, it was still raining, but the most interesting fact was a small sign near the corner flag of Ariddia’s field. It was written: “Caution! Slippery grass!” In the second half, the sign was removed. Also, something unusual happened when Fr. Lucas sent Loskov off. Players complaining saying that the monk was “unfair”, “blind”, “crazy” or even “a demon”. The monk reacted to these complaints forgiving the offenders. Last, Levent trying to make a save...

JORGE LANG - INTERVIEWS: incredible win for Cafundéu. I’m sure that our coach and players will have a lot to say today, as the result really shows that Cafundéu is in very good form. The coach told me: “We won with style. We could even defeat the main team of Ariddia. The players are very motivated and it’ll be difficult to stop them. Ariddia fought well, but they were unlucky too, as the goalkeeper was sent off in a important moment of the match.”

Heitor said: “We did our best, and fortunately were able to get the three points. The goal difference doesn’t matter, what matters is that we won the three points and the group. Now, I know that we’ll face Az-cz, another strong opponent. You’ll say that it’d be better to finish second, but I prefer this way.” Marcelinho said: “Thanks to God, we won this game. You know, we’re playing well since the first game of the qualifiers, and we won’t stop now. Az-cz is difficult to beat, but nothing is impossible.”

BEST PLAYERS OF THE GAME (Ruiz’s opinion): Ariddia had a good start, but the huge loss didn’t help the players to get a good rating in this game. I’d say that Thomas and Kim played well. For Cafundéu, Lauro had a good game, and so did Anormal. But the main players were Neto and Heitor. Especially Heitor. Scored three games and was the main player in the attack. Without any doubt, the best player of the game, and currently the best Cafundelense of the competition.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 3 (Anormal’s goal): “The rrrrresult is guarrrrranteed, Cafundéu will win the grrrroup! Ferrrrrrrreirrrrra with the ball, drrrrribbles Thomas and passes it to Anorrrrrmal in the centrrrrre of the midfield. Father Lucas says that we’ll have five minutes of injurrrrry time. Anorrrrrmal still with the ball, shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Let’s follow it in the rrrrreplay! Anorrrrrmal, number five! Cafundéu six, Arrrrriddia two! Looking for rrrrreliable and durrrrrable batterrrrries for your electrrrrronical equipments? Look no morrrrre, buy Energetic batterrrrries!”

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/6954/0167811buk8.jpg
Ariddian players leaving the field, sad with the result

CAFUNDÉU 6x2 ARIDDIA

Place: Fonong-Pelle, in Solonds (Vephrall).
Attendance: 47,651 people.
Referee: Fr. Lucas the Fair One (The Archregimancy).
MOTM: Heitor (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Lauro; Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Carlão; Anormal, Vergara (Del Valle 68’), Marcelinho (Ferreira 76’) and Neto; Heitor and Flecha (Fabrício 85’).
Coach: Franz Braddock.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_ariddian_isles.png ARIDDIA: Malin (Loskov 29’); Levent, Marsh (Isaacs 45’) and Ioe (Tonnelier 45’); Thomas, Lake, Kim and Church; Wu, Lush and Senecky.
Coach: Jane Sanderson.

Goals:CAF: Heitor 19’/28’/76’ , Neto 49’ , Flecha 82’ , Anormal 89’.
ARI: Kim 13’ , Lake 66’.

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Cafundéu – formation for game against Az-cz: Lauro; Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Lobato; Anormal, Éverton, Marcelinho and Neto; Heitor and Flecha.
Coach: Franz Braddock.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: James Galinviesa (Bazalonia).

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WC goalscorers:

5- Heitor
2- Neto and Flecha
1- Anormal and Léo Mattos
1 own goal

Bostopia

10-12-2007, 22:09

Tuffir, Vephrall

Field Marshal Denfeld and Sergeant Nayford were walking down a street in Tuffir ahead of the Bostopia versus Tynelia game in the first knock-out round of World Cup 38.

Sitting down at a local café, they listened in on the conversation next to them.

“Tell you what though Pete, the way those Vephrall fans reacted to those Bostopians going through on goal difference then head to head, it was pretty funny.”

“I know! I thought the Bostopians were gonna have to 'Jimmy do one, bruv!' outta there!”

The first man laughed heartily.

“That's for sure.”

Denfeld and Nayford looked at each other.

“Sergeant, did that man just say what I think he said?”

“No. Can't have done... Ah! There's a copy of the Daily Mail over there, I'll go grab it. Bet a Bostopia fan left it behind.”

As Nayford walked over, another Bostopian man walked over, and went to grab the paper.

“I don't think so, mate.” Nayford said forcefully.

“Whaddya mean, it's my bleedin' 'paper!”

Nayford opened his wallet, and pulled out his military I.D., with the words “Emperor's Own Regiment” standing out rather well.

“Oh! I see! Sorry...” the man leaned in for a closer look “...Sergeant, didn't realise! You boys do a good job. And all that. You can read the paper. Leave it behind the counter for me when... actually, you know what, just have it. I'll be going now.” The man's voice trailed off as he backed away, before turning into a full sprint out of the door.

Nayford made his way back to the table.

“What an odd fellow.” Denfeld remarked, “whatever could have made him act like that old chap?”

“No idea Sir. Anyway, here's the paper.”

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.png

Bostopia Scrapes Into Knockouts By The Skin of Their Teeth

By Jeffrey Reed

In what will for decades be known as one of Bostopia's luckiest qualifications out of the World Cup Group Stages, a draw against Tynelia in the first knock-out round was their reward. Despite losing 3 – 2 to Sel Appa, and then 2 – 1 to Vephrall, Bostopia still managed to qualify thanks to Vephrall not being able to beat Bostopia by three goals, and Jeruselem not being able to capitalise on their form after a win over Vephrall, falling 2 – 1 to Sel Appa.

Fortunately for Bostopia, they will now be able to leave the loose-moral fibred Jeruselem behind, being joined by Sel Appa in the knock-out stages. As our readers will be well aware, it was the Jeruselem press that suggested that Bostopians would have the audacity to fondle a woman's breasts while she is in a state of unconsciousness in order to try and wake her up. Are the Jeruselem FA not aware that this constitutes battery? Or is this type of behaviour befitting of floozies and charlatans so well established in Jeruselem that it is “the norm” or “the done thing”?

To suggest that a Bostopian, of all nationalities, would take advantage of a woman in such stage is outrageous, though should we be at all shocked? The lifestyles of “Dazza” Dallas, and, indeed, their own Crown Princess indicate that we should not be shocked. With role-models such as the above, it is no wonder our own Kelly Firth is paraded as a sex symbol, rather than a woman who is proud enough of her lifestyle choice – the same choice as many other Bostopians.

Perhaps the Crown Princess should attribute her unconsciousness down to a sudden draft of cold air to her extremities, giving her such a shock in her underwear-less state that it knocked her out cold. Though then her actions against Vephrall, in which she conveniently lost her shorts, exposing herself to all and sundry, suggest she cares not about personal image, or what sort of example she is setting.

Fortunately for parents here, the highlight show on BTV1 – World Cup Tonight – made no mention of the incident.

Denfeld looked mightily impressed.

“This Jeffreys fellow is bang on!” He exclaimed, thumping his fist through the table while he spoke, attracting a bit of attention. The hole was then craftily covered up by a napkin, waiting for some poor soul to put a hot cup of beverage over it, only to find the inside of their trouser leg the new recipient of a few len well spent.

Nayford scammed the article.

“So, you're saying that those Morality folk are – were – right then?”

“Heavens, no! For a start, anyone with morals in their name reminds me of those damned Outer Sygonians and their blithering idiot of a leader. I tell you. I tell you! We invade a nation which is harbouring terrorists, and what does he do? Threatens us with war if we don't pull out, but let's our ally stay in there regardless!”

“That was pretty daft.”

“Quite. Secondly, those Morality folks are just anti-Semitic bully boys. Jolly good thing they were all shot. I know our own nation isn't whiter than white, but by jove we hate people based on politics not skin colour or religion!”

“And that, Sir, is how it should be.”

New Manhattan

10-12-2007, 23:38

Fifty-sixth minute
“It’s been quite a dull match here at the Roflcoptre Dome, with neither side managing to penetrate the other’s defense, and most of the long-range shots being spectacularly errant…Bolúfero crosses to Agiaro, who…falls down in front of the goal…it looks like he’s been hurt. And now there’s some objects on the field…any idea what those are?”

“Some sort of exotic Virceis fruit, perhaps?”

“In any case, the north end of the field is getting pelted with them…where are they coming from?”

“It looks from this video like there’s a makeshift cannon in one of the seats that’s firing them, but no one’s operating it.”

“Well, in any case, it’s going to take a while to clean that up…wait, what’s this on the scoreboard?”

The scoreboard reads Vephrese Union of Kumquat Growers — WE DEMAND TARIFFS!

“The Oliverrian playes on the touchline are waving something—it looks like white handkerchiefs—not sure what that’s about…”

Seventieth minute

“Well, we’re finally underway here in Fairynuff after a rather unusual disturbance…Bolúfero manages to win the dropped ball, and passes to Agiaro, who…is down again! It looks like the field is being bombarded again, this time with what appear to be coins…Young is now down for Oliverry, one of the coins hit him smack in the middle of his forehead, he picks it up, fiddles with it—ah! They’re coin-shaped chocolates with shiny wrappers! Doesn’t one of the vendors here sell those? The referee is getting the players off the field once again…and now some of the Capitalizt SLANI supporters have a banner up—is it Protest Day or something?”

The large banner reads End State Violence—Free Vephrall.

Seventy-sixth minute
“Well, the incredible maintenance crew here at the Roflcoptre Dome has the pitch cleared once again, and the ball is back in play…the dropped ball is kicked away by Bolúfero, where Agiaro is in position to collect it for the Capitalizts…”

Twentieth minute of injury time

“and Bolúfero comes down the right-hand side, he puts a good ball into the box, and—GOOOOOOOOOOAL! Agiaro finally puts a point on the scoreboard! Just as we enter the twentieth minute of added time! If they can hold this lead in the final minute or two, the robot warriors will have their sixteenth straight win! Oliverry, on the other hand, look set on preventing that, as they rush the ball over to the center spot for the kickoff. In his haste, Monjeau slips! He kicks the ball to the SLANI players, Bolúfero puts his boot to the ball—he’s trying to lob it over the keeper! The keeper can’t reach it! It ripples the back of the net! Bolúfero from sixty meters! Just thirty seconds later, SLANI take the two–nil lead! For those of you that don’t recall, the fourth official signalled for twenty-one minutes added on, so Oliverry only has about ninety seconds to try to salvage something from this game, they let Monjeau take the kickoff again, he passes it to Thérriault, who returns it…he slips again! Must have a problem with those boots—looked like an Abysmalistan design—but Agiaro runs with the ball for SLANI, he skillfully evades the challenge of Chalifour, he’s one-on-one, he takes the shot—and WHAT A GAME! This was boring as hell before those two stoppages, but now the bots have put up three goals in the one hundred tenth minute—the first, thirty-first, and fifty-sixth seconds, to be exact. It looks like Oliverry have learned from their experience—Thérriault in position to kick it off again, and it doesn’t look like they’re in a hurry anymore…”

Elves Security Forces

10-12-2007, 23:40

"Dwier, Dwier where the hell are you?"

Dwier Titenburg steps out from behind the door into the weight room, "I'm right here Kiso, why the yelling."

"How the heck do you explain this?" Kiso holds up the day's Valanora Express

Valanora Express
Marauders Press Forward, Titenburg to Leave?

Following their three to nil victory over co-hosts Kura-Pelland to win the group and move onto the knockouts, the story is not of their triumph, but of the announcement that Dwier Titenburg has expressed interest in the likely to be vacant Ariddian national team manager position. While he had already informed the VFA that he would not return the next tournament as the assistant manager of the Marauders, many believed that Constant would either be fired or resign from his post, paving the way for Titenburg to take the squad he has been with since they have entered World Cup play in World Cup twenty-nine. This development leaves many questions for both the current squad, but for the VFA and those hopeful of making next tournament's squad.

With all things still up in the air, let's go through the possible scenarios in place. In Constant decides to return and the VFA and VSC decide to retain the former captain, then the only position that would need to be filled would be the assistant job, which was already going to happen. However, if Constant is not retained, then things get abit sticky. If Titenburg does get the position in Ariddia, that would leave the VFA looking for both the assistant and head manager positions, and likely would push back the progress of the entire national team program for twice how many months it would take to find replacements. What could also happen, and be quite worse for the faithful of the squad, is if Titenburg does not get the Ariddian position but then also refuses the VSC's contract poposal it will be both a gash into the program and the support for newly formed Valanora. If the manager position is open, oddsmakers have Rinaldi's Asanta Webber and Raynor City's Fabio Mannasuch as leading replacements, but both are more atune to the day and day workings of club football, and the transition to the senior national team could prove troublesome.

For now, the best thing for the squad, staff, and supporters to do is to look forward to their Round of Sixteen clash with former colony Demot. Many of you know that it was the Dynamo that knocked out the Marauders last tournament and made their way to the final before falling to Az-cz. To make matters worse, in a friendly during qualifying, the Dynamo defeated this current squad, albiet it was in Skyhaven. The Dynamo are difficult challange as they have great midfielders and world class strikers, however there is a weakness in their backline, and with the talent the Marauders have on the offensive side, it could prove to work out in the Green and Black's favor. With the squad wearing their alternate green uniforms for just the third time, one wonders if Constant is trying to stir some magic from Elune as the two previous times the squad wore them, they defeated Bazalonia and then drew with Bettia. Whatever the reason may be, let us hope the squad moves on and continues the run to their first title.

Valanora 3
Kiso Night (19)
Samantha Neesa (47)
Anti Fresco (84)

Kura-Pelland 0

Article by Ron Santapa

"Aye, it's true Kiso, I did inform Ariddia that I would be interested if they do have a vacancy in the position. But honestly Kiso, you knew I wasn't going to be back, at least as the assistant, so why are you so upset eh?"

"Because, we're just about to go into one of our toughest matches in history and we're still fighting for a chance to win the Trophy. If you're interested in the job, whoopty do, but wait until we're eliminated before expressing it publicly. Alot of the squad feel betrayed by this, myself included."

"Well Kiso, I'm sorry you and the guys feel that way, but I got to do what's best for me and my family. I'm sure you can understand that. Besides, the odds of me getting the job are pretty slim little buddy. Just put behind you and concentrate on winning against Demot, that's the real test."

"I will, but this isn't over Dwier. This is not over, and don't make me drag Kyla and Zacharius into this, because I will if I have to!"

Zwangzug

10-12-2007, 23:49

"Tynelia are here to play, and they hit the ground running quite literally. After a hasty start, we've settled into a high-paced game, and it's not going too well for Zwangzug. Tynelia have been in control, and just haven't broken through."

"Aaron Burke in possession now, passes to MacDougal-"

"William MacDougal-"

"Who's running Hanson ragged back there. He'll finally shoot, and it'll be a goal.

"Tynelia deservedly opens the scoreline..."

"...Barons on the attack, but Maximov will take control, passing to Davies. Up to Harris, Dalton, and-all of a sudden it's 2-0..."

"...some amusing footage from around Vircais to air after today's game."

"Not amusing for C&M, will it be? Four-nothing over there?"

"So far, but I don't think that'll last long."

"Uh...I don't know what to make of that, so let's just focus on our game. Deguela digs it out, passes forward to Stings, who'll forge ahead to-make it a goal!"

"That's the kind of form Zwangzug needs to show if they want to win this group: a draw will put Tynelia on top."

"And what lies ahead in either case?"

"Group D isn't sorted out yet: it could be Sel Appa, who beat Zwangzug in last tournament's third-place match; Jeruselem, who we've done disproportionately well against; Bostopia; or even Vephrall..."

"...Tricky reverse pass from Dalton there, sends it to his teammate Grant, who's wide open, and that'll be-another goal for Tynelia, who now lead 3-1..."

"...looks as if Lee Andrews, the Tynelian coach, is going to call a press conference after this victory."

"Andrews has taken Tynelia in a new direction-"

"What, forward?"

"Perhaps. But as he said, "all the big winners have been attacking teams"."

"What about Az-cz last cup? Midfield based"

"They were...Hold on, let me look this up..."

"...And it appears we've reverted to the pre-Vephrese state of commentary. Or lack thereof."

"I'm still trying to find what the Gnomes did last cup."

"Well, they're still playing, for injury time anyway. Deguela passes to Olson, who shoots, and it'll be a goal!"

"He was offsides."

"Oh. A bit of an anticlimax."

"Similarly, the Gnomes played offensively last cup too. And Ariddia and Bettia have focused on offense, and they go back to-well, before we started paying attention."

"That'll be the final whistle: Tynelia 3, Zwangzug 1."

Sel Appa

11-12-2007, 04:13

So Sel Appa goes through again for the first time on top. The Turtles now have gone through their qualifiers and group stage undefeated. 18 straight matches without a loss is quite a feat. Even the most un-superstitious Sel Appans are trying to be careful. Sel Appa seems set to go very deep into this World Cup and maybe come out on top. Let's take a look at the Round of 16:

Round of 16
Northern Bettia vs. Ariddia
A nice little matchup here, but Ariddia clearly has the advantage and will pull through to the Quarters.

Tynelia vs. Bostopia
Our football buddies go up against Tynelia. Hard to take a pick here as both are good sides. Tynelia has the better rank, but we think it is time for Bostopia to shine.

Cafundéu vs. Az-cz
A tough match here. Both sides are good, but Az-cz should top our second favorite foreign team for a ticket to the Quarters.

Sel Appa vs. Zwangzug
We beat them to take the last bronze and we'll surely beat them again. But, Zwangzug will definitely put up a fight. We may just see some extra time, but our Turtles will do their job.

Milchama vs. Yafor II
A wide rank gap here should make it easy for Milchama, but don't be surprised if Yafor 2 sneaks in a win.

Squornshelous vs. Quakmybush
Both veteran sides here and have put on a good show. I suspect Squornshelous will squeeze out an early win, with Quakmybush going down honorably, but quickly.

The Holy Empire vs. Capitalizt SLANI
Nicked out of the previous cup in the group stage, The Holy Empire made it through this time. However, they face a tough match from SLANI, who should make it easily.

Valanora vs. Demot
Two very close sides in rank will have a tough fight. We see Demot coming out of the dust, not without many a wound.

Quarterfinals
Ariddia vs. Bostopia
Our favorite foreign team and another popular side here in Sel Appa take each other on, but our friends will have met their match as Ariddia moves forward.

Az-cz vs. Sel Appa
Sel Appa has met Az-cz more times than any other nation, only winning once out of seven in the second World Cup 37 Qualifier match. Az-cz later beat Sel Appa in the Semifinals of the Cup proper. Both sides want to win and will try very hard to do so, but we have to have faith here and expect Sel Appa, which has improved quite a bit, to pull through.

Milchama vs. Squornshelous
Both these sides are close to each other in rank and it's hard to pick the better game here. Both teams did well in the qualifiers making it hard to choose. We'll have to take Milchama and wish them through.

Capitalizt SLANI vs. Demot
Two excellent sides here, but we'll probably see SLANI take out the Dynamo.

Semifinals:
Ariddia vs. Sel Appa
Our Turtles take on a very strong side in what will be a popular match here at home. It's really hard to say who will go through. Ariddia has the experience, but Sel Appa has the will. We'll have to wait yet to see what will go down.

Milchama vs. Capitalizt SLANI
Both are well-established sides, but SLANI is clearly the better of the two. They'll see a spot in the Final.

Vephrall

11-12-2007, 04:58

{Second round RP cutoff}

Jeruselem

11-12-2007, 05:19

Official Jeruselem Government Press Release

King Henry I of Jeruselem dies from stroke! Succession planned.

Today King Henry I of Jeruselem suffered a stroke and died soon after. The 66 year old had been bedridden for the last few years of his life. He survived by his first and only wife Queen Mary, and their only child Crown Prince Richard. It is expected Crown Prince Richard will succeed the thrown is King Richard I of Jeruselem with his wife Queen Katherine (aka "Skate").

Funeral will be held after the final of World Cup 38 and then the coronation of the new King after that. Dates of this will not be released yet.

The spokesperson for the Royal family ("Skate") said
"I feel I've lost a father even though I don't know my real father is. I think recent events helped bring his health down but you know these things happen. The Royal family wishes people to put condolences on our web site and not put flowers outside the palace due to security issues. It's been a sad week for me - the World Cup loss and now my step-father. He died peaceful death and well, lived a good life."

Grand Chancellor Kevin Durr said
"Now, it's time for a new era. The younger generation will take over and make their impact. He was a great who helped build a new Jeruselem. The Prince is a wise man and his wife is a strong woman who is also a great leader in her own right with a few faults but we know all about those. Yes, I know - people are going call the new rulers Dick and Skate because Henry and Mary sounds a lot more respectable."

All flags in Jeruselem should be flying at half-mast in rememberance.

OOC This means any Kate Dallas memorabilia will be suddenly very valuable.

Tynelia

11-12-2007, 14:43

“Don’t worry Agent Smith sir, I have everything under control. Arridia won so they’ll be no further advancement for the religious nutbags cause for sure now.” Agent Jones replied confidently despite the failure of the team to lose against Bostopia.

“As usual I see you’ve not done your homework Agent Jones. You really need to get your own hands dirty in the archives. We did face Arridia before in WC34. We were defeated 2-0 but it was a close match until late. Do not underestimate what this team may accomplish thanks to this unhealthy religious furvor they seem to now be driven by. However the situation has been successfully resolved no thanks to you.” Agent Smith said calmly.

“What? how sir?” Jones asked perplexed?

In reply Agent Smith held up the front page of the latest newspaper.

--------------------------------------------------------
Tynelian Coach Canned!

In a shocking move that has stunned the soccer community here in Tynelia, Coach Lee Andrews, the only coach to ever get beyond the first round of the knockouts, has been fired as team coach according to the Tynelian Soccer Federation. While Andrews has not been reached for comment, the head of the TSF Alex Gordons had this to say.

“This recent revelation about Mr. Andrews religious interests runs contrary to Tynelia’s truth and honesty clause for all major international leadership roles. As you can see from his application for when Mr. Andrews took over the job as coach of the Damak Icemen four years ago he filled in his religious affliation as ‘none’. However Mr. Andrews recent statements regarding his conversion three ears ago means that when he applied for the international squad’s coaching job he should have changed this to his current religion which he did not. In fact other than the update on his resume for the Damak Icemen coaching credentials , Mr. Andrews used the same resume as he did when he did in fact apply for that job.

“Such misleading paperwork as this has forced the TSF to consider that Mr. Andrews is not a suitably moral enough or professional enough of a person to stand as a popular figure in Tynelian culture that children may grow up to emulate in the future. As such the TSF has been forced to remove Mr. Andrews from his current role as team Coach. His job as Damak Icemen coach will not be taken as his resume was accurate at that time but Mr. Andrews must correct his entry before the start of the next season or risk losing that job as well. Also, if Mr. Andrews were to reapply for the next world cup coaching job with an accurate resume the TSF will be happy to consider him once more. We would like to thank Mr. Andrews for his efforts to date on behalf of the Tynelian squad and wish him well in the future.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

“AS you can see Agent Jones. Mr. Andrews will get no more credit for the team’s efforts. If we should lose to Arridia despite our recent success which is what much of the world believes, no one will be able to claim that it was the dismissal of the coach that turned things sour for the team.” Agent Smith explained calmly.

“But what if they win?” Agent Jones wondered.

“Well that would clearly be evidence that Mr. Andrews had little to do with the team’s success as the replacement coach stepped in to upset the arguably top team in the world. That alone would turn people from thinking any religious force was behind the team’s performance and that it was just skill that drove the team to this point.” Smith answered.

“But where will you find a coach so fast? Or get one with any sort of skill. Jay Masterson retired years ago.” Jones asked.

“You’ll see.” Agent Smith replied with a faint smile. “Dismissed.”

<elsewhere>

“Aw man, the TSF sucks.” Complained William MacDougal as the team gathered in the locker room after the news hit. “I mean the biggest match in history and they canned the guy who brought us here.”

“No way they can get anyone here quick enough to do anything useful.” Agreed Rachel Ellis. “I guess one of us will have to be coach for a day.”

“I’ll coach!” Meggie MacDougal offered.

“You’re a starter Meggie, we can’t have you on the sidelines.” Marcus Dalton disagreed. “Man this is gonna suck.”

“I don’t think things will be quite so bad Marcus.” Said a dark suited man with slicked back dark hair and wearing a pair of sunglasses as he stepped into the room.

“Agent..er Coach Adams?” Miranda Harris exclaimed as her old coach from the previous Cup’s knockout reaching team walked calmly in front of the dumbfounded team.

“Its Agent Jones now, or Coach Jones if you prefer. I was promoted after your efforts on your country’s behalf last time. Miranda, Rachel, Marcus, Meggie, John, Lyle- good to see you all again. You newcomers welcome. Obviously last Cup's rules of anoyminity are not in force due to the public records already made available but we shall deal with it appropriately. “ Agent Jones said in a crisp tone as he reached into his briefcase and began pulling out satellite images. “Gather around people and study these shots carefully, as you can see the Arridians prefer to utilize an attack style of…”

Az-cz

11-12-2007, 17:39

Amda-Mo: For the first time these finals the Gnomes have put together a complete game, beating Cafundeu 4-1 to advance to the quarterfinals for the 6th straight cup.

Lur-Mn: Indeed. Straight from the start we came out clicking and got offense from some unusual places to put us out to a lead we never gave up. Shockey started off the scoring from the midfield and Hu-35 added the second before half to drive us into the break up to goals. Ho-Lee Chung got the third and suprisingly Haji-Me snuck forward for the fourth after Cafundeu has pulled one back. Truly a group effort to get the victory today. Nice to see the entire squad getting into the attacks.

Amda-Mo: Do you think that was planned or was it just a sort of organic occurence?

Lur-Mn: Well I'm sure Rahim wasn't planning for Shockey and Haji-Me to score so in some sense it just happened. But making sure the whole offense was part of the attack wasn't accidental. We'd come to depend too much on the three up front, so getting the whole team involved was, I'm sure, a point of emphasis.

Amda-Mo: Where do you think the team is mentally at this point?

Lur-Mn: I'm sure there in a very good place. We're coming off a good game, we're playing an opponent we know we can beat, and we've got the confidence from last cup to know we can put the run together. But we also know Sel Appa's a good side, better than they were last cup, and that if we underperform we can throw out a stinker, so I think mentally we're just in the right place.

Amda-Mo: One last question about this game before looking forward. How should we feel about the single allowed goal?

Lur-Mn: Just as you expect. It's not good. The goal is always a shutout. But it's not the end of the world either. When you play as aggressively as we do you leave some chances for the other team. We'll just hope to tighten up and try to keep the pressure up.

Amda-Mo: Now let's look at the Sel Appa match. What can we expect?

Lur-Mn: First and foremost a close fought and spirited, but friendly match. Both teams know each other well but have respect for the other. There was a time when Az-cz looked down on Sel Appa, it's true, but that time has long since passed. They truly deserve their accolades as one of the world's elite and both sides know it. Both teams will push the ball down the pitch and there will be plenty of goals. The key I think will be who takes the most goals away from the other. That is if there's a situation where one team looks like they should score but the other team stops them, the team who makes the stop should win.

Amda-Mo: Anything else of note?

Lur-Mn: Not especially. There have been some rumors that Sel Appa is more driven than us, but I just don't think that's the case. Both teams will give 107% out on the pitch.

Amda-Mo: Ok then let's look at the rest of the second round.

Lur-Mn: Well the Vephrall half of the bracket saw a bunch of one sided matches, none more than Ariddia stomping on Northern Bettia. They sorted out their keeper problems and just went to town. Tynelia and Sel Appa both also advanced easily. The exciting matches, were to be found in Kura-Pelland. Unquestionably the Elvish derby was the best match with the Elves Security Forces pulling out a 3-2 win. Milchama was the other team involved in a one goal duel silencing Yafor II and winning 1-0. Commerce Heights had a crazy shootout against Alasdair I Frosticus and Squornshelous was the easiest winner in Kura-Pelland taking down the sharks 3-1.

Amda-Mo: Now onto the last top six of this cup.

Lur-Mn: Here we go.

6. Ariddia

They put themselves back into the nightmares of all the other teams with that performance. You'd have to say they now look to be strong favorites in their next match, against Tynelia. 6-0 in a knockout game is brutal.

5. Elves Security Forces

They won a hard fought game to get revenge for last cup. Unfortunately Commerce Heights means things are only getting harder. The winner of this match will probably be favored to make the finals, which means they'll be playing hard as this is a golden opportunity for them.

4. Squornshelous

Got a nice matchup with Quakmybush and took advantage. They've not got Milchama a very interesting matchup. They seem to finally have rediscovered their form after some struggles following their upset loss to Demot in World Cup 33.

3. Tynelia

Bostopia was a bit lucky to make the knockouts, but you play the matches you have not the matches you wish you had. And they still won by three goals. So even if you slice it as less impressive than some of the others it still has value.

2. Sel Appa

Hard to believe this team was a whipping boy for us back in world cups 31 and 32. Also strange to think that us, Tynelia and Sel Appa were all in the same group back in World Cup 31, with none of us expected to qualify, although we managed to do so. The Turtles, like us and the hippos as well, have come a log way. A 2-0 win over Zwangzug confirmed that. They're really looking to improve on their third place from last cup, which means winning at least the next two. It'll be tough to stop them, and will require a great game from us.

1. Commerce Heights

The Slanis just keep on rolling. They've now won 17 straight following their opening game loss. Talk about getting focused. They've done so beautifully and now are solid favorites against a good Elves Security Forces team. Most are already expecting them to meat Ariddia for the title.

Amda-Mo: 17 straight is quite a run. We've certainly never come close to that. Join us again next time if we can keep alive our chances at a bit more important streak.

Vephrall

11-12-2007, 18:23

Bittersweet win for Vephrall in final match

MEICE -- Another sellout crowd at Ellime e Vephrall did at least have the good fortune of going home having seen their team win its first World Cup match. Unfortunately, it wasn't good enough to send the white and gold through to the knockouts, or indeed even to lift them up from fourth place.

Manager Umsaasad Pentove's decision to replace a struggling Sorrah Wais with the younger Ferrys Sorrah worked well, with the replacement scoring a goal and helping to create another, which Ocilla Meniarol would ultimately net. Ocilla Shuke was solid in goal, keeping the damage down to just one and securing three points for his team.

Nevertheless, Shuke left the game feeling a bit depressed. "We had to win by two," he said with watery eyes to reporters after the game. "I know I had a chance of saving that goal, and I blew it."

While Shuke's heart was in the right place, his math was slightly off: Vephrall had to win by three, not two. Well, okay, two would've worked if Sel Appa had scored another goal against Jeruselem.

The 2-1 win left Vephrall in fourth place with one win and two losses and a -2 goal differential. Bostopia produced a minor shock by advancing despite the closing loss, going through ahead of Jeruselem on the head-to-head tiebreaker (Bostopia's only win was against the Princesses).

Pentove gets contract extension

After coming close to moving into the knockout stages of the World Cup, national team manager Umsaasad Pentove has been rewarded with a contract extension through the end of World Cup 39 qualifying. The VFR refused to disclose the monetary value of the contract.

Dotsmens resigns as assistant manager

Rhoetang Dotsmens confirmed today that he has officially resigned as assistant manager of the Vephrall national football team. Dotsmens was one of the favorites to be awarded the manager's job had Umsaasad Pentove's contract not been renewed. Dotsmens served as interim manager for the second half of World Cup 37 qualifying and says he would like to return to a managerial role either in Vephrall or abroad.

The current favorite to replace him is former Bedistani international Parker Law, who was reportedly contacted by the VFR while he and his family were on vacation on the eastern Shentarong coast some months earlier.

Pasarap, Shrifflu headed for Cafundéu

Representatives from the VFR, Ammites FE, and Stestrenas OC have confirmed that Vephrall national team backups Jehoepe Pasarap and Jehoepe Shrifflu will be moving to Cafundéu next league season. Pasarap will play for A.F.F., while Shrifflu will don the shirt of Atlético Jutense. The estimated value of the deal, negotiated directly by the CCFM on behalf of the two Cafundelense clubs, is 15 million vintéms (51.7 million len).

Squornshelous

11-12-2007, 19:21

After failing to advance beyond the second round for twelve years, Squornshelous have returned to the quarterfinals with a solid win over Quakmybush. The Red and Black put forth a well rounded effort, controlling nearly 70% of possession and getting all of their goals from different sources. Quakmybush were unable to adapt their play either to penetrate our defense or thwart our attack, despite the use of all three substitutions by their manager, and the fact that they play a similar overall scheme to Squornshelous. Their 4-2-4 and our 3-5-2 appear different on paper, but in function, both have sets of dedicated offensive and defensive players, with ours sometimes resembling a 3-2-5.

Squornshelous again struck early in the match, allowing manager Jan Jorgenson the luxury of substituting Caj Ilmari, who played every minute of our three group stage matches. In addition to Ilmari, the starters for this match were Uolevi, and Kurka, at striker, Kolkka and Prpic, in midfield; a youth-first approach with the exception of Uolevi. Young FC Kakrafoon talent Kolkka opened the scoring in the 26th. After spending most of the first half hour probing the defense, our attack was ready to strike. Kolkka recieved a pass forward from Kakrafoon teammate Joha Timmonen and took the ball down the wing. Before getting to far to the corner, he passed in to Ilmari, who drew two defenders. Ilmari quickly passed back to Kolkka, who raced to the corner of the box and beat Cam Carrol down low. Uolevi doubled the scorline 15 minutes later, he sent Rostislav Prpic's corner down and back toward the near post. It narrowly missed the leg of Cameron Juteer and bounced in.

With his team comfortably ahead at the break, Jorgenson sent Reino Markkunen into the match for Ilmari. Squornshelous suffered a slight lack of cohesiveness without the prescence of their captain before Uolevi could pull the midfield together again. This was hardly surprising on such a youthful team as the Pschychoes. Only goalkeeper Kustaa Paavalainen is over thirty. Quakmybush siezed the opportunity and soon pulled within one goal on a nice bit of teamwork between Matthew Graves and Andrew Plett, who pulled off a good one-two combination to give Plett a clear shot at goal.

Jorgenson used his last two subs, sending in one of his teams emotional leaders, striker Johannes Axelsson, in for cup newcomer and first time starter Tomas Kurka, and Jzeovak Tkermec's fresh legs in for Kolkka, who was fatiuged after a long match making runs. With the experience of Uolevi and Axelsson forward, Squornshelous was now able to maintain long periods of ball control in the Quakmybush half. There weren't that many shots taken by the Pschychoes, but for a 16 minute period, Paavalainen never even came close to handling the ball. Eventually, Quakmybush's desperation led to the final goal. A bit of miscommunication in the 81st minute saw both Valez and Gait chasing the ball on a drop from Axelsson to Markkunen. Markkunen quickly returned the ball to Axelsson, who faked a shot before passing to Tkermec. Tkermec finished well to notch his second finals goal.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 3-1 Quakmybush

Squornshelous' Scorers:
scorer: total (finals)
Ilmari: 15 (4)
Aatunen: 7 (2)
Uolevi: 7 (2)
Prpic: 5 (1)
Tkermec: 5 (2)
Axelsson: 3 (1)
Kolkka: 3 (1)
Markkunen: 3
Demkjo: 1
Haakana: 1 (1)
Volodov: 1

Cafundeu

11-12-2007, 19:24

Bostopia

11-12-2007, 23:02

The usual five were in a Vephrese airport. Trooper Reane had just gone off to check the departure time, after they had spent much too long (and much too much money) in a bar in the airport.

Denfeld looked down at his glass. “Blastation!” He thought, “bloody thing's empty.” He was about to go and get himself another drink, when Reane had ran back.

“Sir, the flight's boarding!”

“When?”

“Now, Sir!”

Denfeld stood up, wobbled, sat down, then stood up again.

“Now?!?”

The others looked around and jumped up.

“Where's the gate?” Nayford asked.

“The other end of the building, Sergeant.”

“Oh for – urr...we'll never make it in time.” Nayford's eyes widened. “Unless... Reane, you remembered how we made the last flight we nearly missed, don't you?”

“Well yes Sir, I modified electric wheelchairs to go faster.”

“Good show. Well, you won't need to. There's a golf-cart type thing there.”

Denfeld ran over, shouting “These vehicles are being commandeered in the name of the Bostopian Government!”

Nayford jumped into the golf cart, and turned to the men behind him who were clinging onto the back.

“Well?” He enquired.

“Well what, Sir?”

“Say it!”

“Say what, Sir?”

“You know, that phrase.”

“Oh! Yes! That!”

Reane looked back at Nayford, who nodded him on in encouragement, now he'd noticed security was running over. Nayford looked confused, then realised what he had to say.

“CHEES-...no, that's not it...OH!”

Higgins slapped his own forehead.

“JIMMY DO ONE, BRUV!”

Ariddia

11-12-2007, 23:57

Ariddia wakes up, waltzes on

There are a number of teams you don’t want to meet at a knock-out stage in the international football competition.

One of those is Ariddia. The former World Champs may have stumbled a little over their recent matches, but it remains an adage that being drawn against the Rouge-et-Noirs in the round of 16 generally means an end to your loftiest dreams and aspirations.

Well, except if you’re from Demot.

Another is Northern Bettia. Because they just cheat.

Much had been predicted in the international press regarding the Northern Bettians’ hypothetical glory, or at least attempt to nudge, elbow and scratch their way to unexpected heights. Many in the Ariddian Isles were consequently keen to drag them kicking back down to the ground, and shore up their own self-confidence in the process. Such was the setting for what promised to be an interesting cut-off encounter.

Add to that the fact that the referee was Arianna Ceccoli (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/arianna_ceccoli.html), who, last time she had come across the Northern Bettians (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13054342#post13054342), had handed five of them red cards. All were ready for an explosive match.

The Rouge-et-Noirs seemed fired up as they performed the ulek, in the face of boos, jeers and obscene gestures from the Fire Ants and their supporters. The Ariddians remained unperturbed, performing the ritual with determination and energy, rushing at their opponents as they completed their chant: “Sah wa weheshisi! Sah wa weheshisi!” Perhaps irked by the provocative injunction to “Stand, and be destroyed!” (even if he did not understand the words), Stu Kaolla responded by spitting at Jeremy Isaacs as the Ariddian captain thrust his face inches from the Northern Bettian midfielder’s. Large screens in the stadium instantly offered slow-motion replays. The Fire Ants’ fans cheered. Other spectators rose to their feet with boos and yells of protests. The Sanadrianese referee sighed, rolled her eyes, and pulled out her first red card – perhaps the first time in history a player has been sent off the field before the match could even begin. Assistant referees dragged the angry Stu Kaolla off the pitch.

In the seventh minute, Ariddia’s Yuto Takahara broke through the Norther Bettian defence, and was set to shoot when Ryan Kemys kicked his inside knee, bringing him down just outside the penalty area. Out came a yellow card, and Takahara took a free kick, which defender Blake Sitara was able to save.

The first goal came in the sixteenth minute, when Jamilah Shahrour defeated Pete Waters with a superb shot, to cries of indignation (for some reason) from the Fire Ants. Another goal came in the thirtieth minute, when Takahara refused to be slowed down by Owen Yamada holding on to his shirt, and ran on to kick the ball neatly into the net. Yamada slipped, and accidentally pulled down Takahara’s shorts.

In the thirty-eighth, a shot deflected by Mary E’it gave Northern Bettia the opportunity for a corner kick. As Marek Petras jumped to intercept the ball with his head, Naru Sonata jumped too, and viciously elbowed the Ariddian midfielder in the jaw. Petras collapsed, dazed, just as Ceccoli blew her whistle fiercely and pulled out another red card. Before anyone could come to their senses, however, a furious Petras was back on his feet, and punching Sonata hard in the nose. The crowd cheered wildly. Petras was sent off along with Sonata.

By half-time, a goal from Hwang Kumchol had given the Rouge-et-Noirs a 3-0 lead, and many Ariddians were smiling with smug satisfaction as they demolished their irritating opponents.

The second half was dominated by the Rouge-et-Noirs, and, while the Fire Ants managed to collect an additional five yellow cards, nobody else was sent off until late in the game. Takahara scored twice and Wu once, giving the Ariddians one of the most impressive victories ever seen in a World Cup cut-off match. The Fire Ants were visibly furious, and during a corner kick in the eighty-seventh minute apparently decided to make the most of their elimination to start an all-out brawl. It took Ceccoli, the assistant referees and several other helpers to pull them off the Rouge-et-Noirs, and the Sanadrianese ref then calmly proceeded to hand out red cards to eight of the nine Northern Bettians still on the pitch. Only Pete Waters, over in his goal cage, was spared. When the field had been cleared of Fire Ants, there were over two minutes left to play, and ten Ariddians on the pitch facing a lone Northern Bettian goalkeeper.

The crowd, by now, had become singularly excited. They sensed an opportunity for the greatest thrashing ever witnessed at this stage of the competition. How many goals could the Rouge-et-Noirs score with no opponent players to stop them, except a goalkeeper? A 15-0 scoreline seemed well within reach.

The Ariddians advanced on Waters’ goal cage with, calm, deliberate slowness, some with impassive faces, others grinning predatorily. They passed the ball between one another casually. Back and forth.

Reaching the goal cage, they stopped. Ewe passed to Thomas. Thomas passed to Shahrour. Shahrour passed to Chichirua. Waters watched nervously. Chichirua passed to Ewe. Ewe gave a mock yawn, took his time, and passed to Tonnelier. Tonnelier passed to her brother Takahara.

Takahara pretended to aim for a shot on goal, and Waters tensed, bracing himself to leap. Takahara smiled lazily, and kicked the ball backwards. E’it went to retrieve it, and passed to Mohamed. Mohamed thought about it for a moment, then kicked it off the field.

Waters hesitated. As the lone Northern Bettian player, he had to toss the ball back into the field. But he had no-one to toss it to, except for a group of Ariddians who now stood assembled round an entirely empty Northern Bettian goal cage. The crowd laughed. They were enjoying every moment of it.

In the end, Waters stood outside the pitch and dropped the ball into the field, then entered and kicked it towards the Ariddian side of the pitch. Realising that he intended to launch a lone counter-attack towards the Ariddian goal cage –now fortunately defended by Jarl Knudsen once more– Ariddia’s defenders ran after him. Isaacs caught up mere metres before Waters reached the Ariddian penalty area, and retrieved the ball with a clean tackle. Isaacs sent it sailing through the air to his team mates. Waters sprinted back to defend his own goal cage once more. Spectators applauded, in the grips of deafening hilarity.

Nudging the ball gently with his foot, Jean-Charles Thomas guided it up to the goalcage line, but without crossing it. There he left it for Waters to retrieve. The Northern Bettian picked it up as the Rouge-et-Noirs stood around waiting with polite smiles; he clutched it against his chest. Seconds fell away from the clock. Eventually, the referee walked up, whistled, and handed him a yellow card for keeping the ball too long. It was his second yellow, so she calmly showed him a red too, and pointed for him to leave the field. With exactly eight seconds left to play, the field now contained ten Ariddians and. . . zero Northern Bettians.

The Ariddian captain, Jeremy Isaacs, was grinning widely as he kicked the ball off the field, when no-one remained to toss it back in, and Ceccoli whistled the end of the match. The Rouge-et-Noirs were all smiling broadly as they walked off the pitch.

Asked later why they had been content to leave the score at 6-0 in the end, Jamilah Shahrour laughed.

“I don’t know. It didn’t seem sporting to score goals when we were playing ten against one. Six-nil is good enough already, and at least we scored those six goals in. . . well, I was about to say normal circumstances.”

The Rouge-et-Noirs advance to the quarter-finals, while the Northern Bettians drop out. The Fire Ants will, at least, have attained the dubious distinction of receiving eleven red cards within a single match.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/northern_bettia.png Northern Bettia 0-6 Ariddian Isles http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_ariddian_isles.png

Kura-Pelland

12-12-2007, 00:47

Quarter-final RP cutoff

Jeruselem

12-12-2007, 02:22

http://img470.imageshack.us/img470/8564/jgnlogohe2.png

Fight to erupt over World Cup 39 captaincy

With Princess Katherine Alexandra Dallas to become Queen of Jeruselem, the captaincy of the World Cup team is up for grabs. With vice-captain Hose Tunk, son of Abrams Tunk, possibly going to retire it seems the girls of the team are ready to fight for the captaincy.

Defender Joline Jollie confirmed she wanted to lead the team. She lead an all-female team which won the first "All Frenchie" cup. Aged 22, she is a contender with the experience and skills. The problem with Jollie is she's prone to being quite overzealous with her appeals to refs and has a bad temper. She was a child prostitute rescued from the streets by Dazza Dallas.

Midfielder Scarlet Ferris or "Scooter" is a friend of Kate Dallas. She's a talented midfielder who plays like a red headed past player (guess who!) and very smart. She's still a slut but compared to her friend Kate, she's quite normal. Some people don't like her because she's Oliverrian.

Dazza Deux had been around quite a while. She looks like Dazza Dallas and has shown, you don't have to be totally human to play for Jeruselem. Due to her cybernetic body, she does not age quickly like her natural counterparts. However, people don't like her because she is a robot. Unlike the others, she does have a human child (we don't know how she managed that).

Kara Kool is the 2nd daughter of famous Rachel who paired up with Dazza Dallas on TV. She's basically a fully clothed Kate Dallas but the Jewish version. Thankfully she's not an Dallas-like whore but she's a big attention whore. She's an outsider but being a Kool she could be picked because of her father Harry Kool.

NO MEN. Well, Hose Tunk is not listed as he might retire.

Sark Kozy announced his retirement from international football leaving the coaching spot open. Current assistant coach Monique Alexander (retired adult movie star) and friend of Dazza Dallas is favoured to take his spot.

Abrams Tunk decline to run for coach. Former striker Big Gay Al and prominent gay activist who coaches a junior team has put his hand up for assistant coach. Rocky Pointy Stick who was married to deceased Rashina Dallas also put in his interest for assistant coach. He is currently is the assistant coach of the Tel Aviv Sharks.

Oddly, Brother Haven - the Orthordox monk who played for Jeruselem, has applied to be coach! He coaches a team of monks who play in the lower leagues for fun. They don't aim to be like their international counterparts. Our intelligence people (OK, it's Jacinta Dallas on a fast scooter) say they aren't that good yet.

Tynelia

12-12-2007, 14:58

Jones Leads Team to Shocker!

In the most shocking result of the quarterfinals, Tynelia, under the calm leadership of Coach Jones in his second turn as Tynelian team coach, knocked out the number 2 team in the world Ariddia in a 2-1 effort. The team’s reward is to face the number 1 team in the world Az-cz in the quarterfinals however, it must be noted that last time these two teams met it was Tynelia coming out on top in the group stage of the last world cup by the same 2-1 score. This was the last defeat the now defending champions suffered before their winning run began. A bit of good news for the lowest ranked squad still alive as only Squornshelous (14th) is outside the top ten, with AZ-cz (1st) and Elves Security Forces now known as Valanora (8th) safely in there.

However the brilliant work performed this cup by Coach Jones is remarkable in getting Tynelia to heights no one had expected after a rather uninspiring qualification. However the team really picked it up once the start of the Cup proper with wins over top ten Zwangzug (4th) in addition to second ranked Ariddia. Clearly our team is not taking the easy route to get where they are now. A win here against Az-cz would mean that in Tynelia’s last four matches three of the top four teams in the world were beaten. No one anywhere in the world would have put money on that even being talked about let alone be in the realm of possibility when the Cup began.

As Coach Jones explained it, it is Tynelia’s new style of play which seems to be confusing their opponents. While the team has not played many of these top teams before, everyone knows that Tynelia is a defensive team and goes in knowing 1 goal could be enough for a win. But, thanks to the balanced outlook Coach Jones brought to the team last cup and the success, Jones knew that by getting even more aggressive this time would certainly pay dividends. The results say it all. A semi-finals berth and a guarantee of a third place playoff match in the worse scenario. Clearly the rest of the world can’t as yet cope with the thought of an attacking Tynelian team, possibly a reason for the team’s high percentage of goals in the first fifteen minutes of their matches throughout the qualifiers to the present.

As Tynelian fans, clutching their Tynelian Towels, raced to the airports to catch flights to Meice (not to be confused with the home of the Mice of Miceland) for the semi-final match, stats people are even now trying to figure out if this run shall bring Tynelia into the top 10 in the world and a first ever top seed in the World Cup 39 qualifiers. In either way Coach Jones has really fired up his fellow Tynelians and soccer has never been more popular than it is today. Go Tynelia!

------------------------------------------------------------------

“Agent Jones this is Agent Smith. Are you there?”

“Yes sir, sorry if I’m a bit distracted, I’m trying to download satellite footage of the latest Az-cz practice to go over with the film from last match.” Jones replied.

“Don’t worry about it, you’ve done an excellent job here. Beating Ariddia like you did on such short notice is an inspiration to everyone in the Agency. The team responds well to you it seems.” Smith congratulated.

“Thank you sir, they just need a firm hand to guide them. Any repercussions from the Andrews situation sir?” Jones asked.

“Thanks to you, the win has made most people forget about the firing despite some early bad feelings towards the TSF. Now people are looking more at the players than who is standing on the sidelines with the clipboards and the smarter ones can see there is no religious nonsense bringing about victories. The Tynelian on the street now feels that the players not the coaching that is responsible. The best of situations for us. The Secretary of Trade came by to tell me that Tynelian Towel sales are up 13% and ceramic hippo sales have dropped 4%. Clearly people are returning to their roots. Keep up the work and if you win it all I’ll see what can be done about promoting you to Smith rank. We need a firm hand to deal with the soccer related uprisings and you know it from the inside out.”

“Thank you sir. It’d be an honor.”

“Any further problems with Agent White about the change? Agent Jones believed she was wavering in her duty.” Smith asked as an afterthought.

“No sir, Agent White is working her cover properly. I believe she is almost relieved that a senior Agent is now on the case instead of having it all fall on her shoulders.”

“Very well then. Get back to work. You have a promotion to get ready for.” Smith said hanging up the phone and looking to Agent Jones standing in Smith’s office silent throughout this exchange on the second line.

“You see Jones, Agent Jones over there has things well unde control and in a day has already done more to neutralize the religious nutbag threat than your attempts this entire time.” Smith said calmly.

“The adjustment of the press coverage to give Agent Jones all the credit so far may backfire on us sir. Those nutbags are well read.” Jones ventured aware that his fellow Jones was making him look bad.

“Perhaps but success heals all wounds Jones. Even if Jones loses the next two matches he has brought more patriotism back to Tynelia and a patriotic Tynelia isn’t a religious one. It was lucky that we had such a tough squad to face this time. Had we faced a lower ranked team and won the Andrews incident might not have been forgotten. But the big upset always excites people. You’d do well to remember that in your next mission Agent Jones.” Smith said looking back to his laptop as a clear sign of dismissal.

“Yes sir.” Agent Jones replied turning and leaving, relieved that he hadn’t been demoted unlike Agent White who dropped three ranks from Jones in one Cup. Clearly soccer isn’t a good career move for any Jones. Maybe badminton had an opening…

Az-cz

12-12-2007, 16:53

Amda-Mo: Well the Gnomes are through to the semis in a rather easy victory over Sel Appa 6-2. What happened out there Lur-Mn?

Lur-Mn: What happened can be seen through looking at the scorers:

(a statistic displays the goal scorers for Az-cz)
Ca-Fu 1, 1, 2, 2
Seoula Vitakiralski 37
El-Iot 64

The Gnomes, and Ca-Fu in particular, discovered a crack in the Sel Appan system. They noticed something in the way Sel Appa took kickoffs and they took advantage. Any player scoring four goals in the opening two minutes indicates a problem with your squad, but when it's a defender who rarely scores you have a major problem. After that Sel Appa gave us all they could and played us even but there's not much chance of seeing the defending champions squander a four goal lead.

Amda-Mo: Looking at that result what can we take out of the game?

Lur-Mn: Not bloody much. I'm sure Tynelia won't have such a glaring weakness in their match. So we can't really draw any conclusions. I guess it's nice to see that we finished well but there ain't to much else to say.

Amda-Mo: Should we be concerned that we gave up two goals despite playing the whole game in counterattack mode?

Lur-Mn: No, cause Sel Appa spent the whole came in attack mode. They pounded on us for 88 minutes. We gave up two goals. No worries from that.

Amda-Mo: So how do we move on from here?

Lur-Mn: Well we face an opponent we faced last cup, Tynelia. They beat us there and will probably fancy there chances to do so again. It'll be tough and we'll have to play great football.

Amda-Mo: Do you like our chances?

Lur-Mn: Well there's no team in the world we can't beat if we're playing well. And while Tynelia is good, they're not Ariddia. We certainly shouldn't be afraid of them. But with the exception of the Cafundeu match we haven't played at a high level in this proper. If we control the match we'll win. If we have another bad performance they could easily take us down.

Amda-Mo: Let's look at the other three teams to qualify.

Lur-Mn: Tynelia is definitely having their best cup ever, qualifying for the semis for the first time. They're unquestionably the least experienced team here with Squornshelous having won a title and made another final like us, and the Elves having made multiple semis and riding the same streak of six consecutive quarterfinals we are. And beating Ariddia is a win to hang your hat on. If they follow it up with a win over us they'll have a couple of beauties for their collection. The Elves beat Commerce Heights in the best quarterfinal match. Like us, with a team that consistently good they have to make the semis some of the time. They've yet to taste the finals if my memory serves. And considering they've yet to lose this cup combined with their arrogant perspective of always thinking they're going to win I'm sure they feel this is their cup. Just as an aside to our Elvish fans. I love you guys and like your country alot, but it is amusing how often your media predicts you to win, where as our media never predicts us to do well. Il-Lur at his bravest has us making the quarterfinals. And then there's Squornshelous, who've found a bit of a resurgence this cup. They won one of the tougher groups and finally made it back to the semifinals after their long stretch in the metaphorical wilderness. Like Il-Lur, I'm going to underrate our squad and say that I think the top four are evenly matched, even though were defending champions. But I think it's true. Even Tynelia makes me incredibly nervous.

Amda-Mo: You really think it's even?

Lur-Mn: Well you'd have to call the Elves the favorites at this point. And I think most people probably think we'll beat Tynelia, but I wouldn't be the least bit suprised if Tynelia met Squornshelous for the title.

Amda-Mo: Interesting. One last parting question? Who do you think is under the most pressure of the four?

Lur-Mn: I think Squornshelous is under the least pressure. They've struggled enough recently that they're not necessarily expected to win, but don't have the weight of a nation driving down on them. The Elves as we touched on earlier, expect to win and feel it's sort of their national right, so to blow a golden opportunity like this would really sting them so they might be affected by that. Us winning last cup on the one hand means the disappointment will be tempered, but on the other hand certainly drives up expectations. And Tynelia has to hope they can get it done here, but shouldn't be too pressured from their fans, especially not with the coaching change in the middle.

Amda-Mo: Well we'll find out who steps up to the challenge and who folds under the pressure when you join us for the semifinal matches.

Squornshelous

12-12-2007, 19:18

Squornshelous staged a minor upset in their quarterfinal match, beating Milchama. With this win, the Pschychoes have moved within two wins of the cup. This is an impressive achievement, especially when one considers the youth of the team. Aside from one player, no one on this roster has ever been beyond the second round. The experience is there in management, as both Jan Jorgenson and Ensio Varg were on the roster, Jorgenson as a starter, but The players have doen very well, considering their lack of late cup experience.

Speaking of late cup experience, our next opponent has plenty of that, more on that later.

Milchama's 3-3-4 formation seemed ill prepared to deal with five Squornshelan attackers from the beginning. Erkki Aatunen, who got the start after being rested in the quarterfinals, nearly put away a second minute chance when he was left completely unmarked down low towards the corner. he dribble inward and sent a ball just wide into the side netting. The Squornshelan defense was a little better prepared, as we play a somewhat more flexible 3-5-2 with two midfielders primarily for defense. The main battle however, was over midfield possession, with the defenders for both sides nearly outnumbered by attackers, both teams tried to protect their net by holding possession for themselves and denying the opposition ball control.

Defensive midfielders Viggo Haakana and Tomas Vendelin did especially well at controlling the center of the field and keeping the ball away from good shooting positions. This led to the long range Milchaman shooters such as Kent Rolt taking a few hopeful shots from far out, but these either went astray or were held easily by Paavalainen. However, Milchama was able to score first as a result of one of these shots, which came in low and careened out of play over the end line after richochetting off Taavati Oivanen. Tal Flar used his height to put the ensuing corner past Paavalainen for 1-0.

Squornshelous evened up before the half on another defensive lapse, caused by and overload of the defense. The Squornshelan attack had been passing around the perimiter of the Milchaman defense, when Viggo Haakana came forward on a quick and recieved a quick pass from Ilmari in stride. He blew by Daig Mitchell, whose sliding tackle came up short of both ball and player, and fired past Halutz Dalton's outstretched arms for the equalizer.

Milchama regained the advantage early in the second, however, when Kevin Flossmore raced down the line for a cross, which appeared to be sailing long, but found Mike E. Florent, who had pinched in a bit from his wing position for the play. He fired on the volley, leaving Paavalainen no time to react to the low ball.

It looked as if Squornshelous might be destined for defeat despite several geniune scoring chances, when the Milchaman defense gave the Pschychoes the chance they needed to win. Erkki Aatunen was brought down hard in the area by Mitchell. The referee immediately pointed to the spot, and went into his pocket for a yellow card. Mitchell began to argue the call, shall we say, enthusiasticly, and after a few moments, the official decided he'd earned a second card, and sent him off, with the help of his Milchaman teammates. Aatunen easily converted the penalty to equalize, and Damian Hill had to send on Kendry Wilkirk to play center back, bringing off Flossmore.

Not much later, after the official awarded Squornshelous a free kick in decent position on a slightly debatable obstruction call, Kev Kelton apparantly "did not see" the official as he jogged back to join the wall, striking him shoulder to shoulder hard enough to knock him to the ground. Whether the incident was intentional or not, Kelton was sent off, leaving Milchama with just 9 players to face the Squornshelan attack. Viggo Haakana was subbed off in favor of striker Peter Volodov, and Squornshelous' play style made our formation looked more like a 3-1-6. However, Squornshelous was careful with the ball, not wanting to give away a winner on a counter, playing possession to tire out the 9 players left for Milchama, probing for openings. Eventually, the inevitable happened, Steve Emter slipped while marking Aatunen on the outside, and the striker came free into the box. His angle was poor however, and this time, instead of shooting, he took advantage of the rush toward his position by Wilkirk to send a cross on the ground to Johannes Axelsson, who scored easily.

Jan Jorgenson quickly used his last two substitutions to bolster the defense, sending Vassili Maryvich in at defensive midfielder for a winded Aatunen, and defensman Pavel Kolodny for attacking midfielder Joonas Kolkka. Milchama's nine men were powerless to penetrate the Squornshelan defense or to chase down the ball when the Pschychoes elected to play keep-away late, and Squornshelous advanced.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 3-2 Milchama

Squornshelous' Scorers:
scorer: total (finals)
Ilmari: 15 (4)
Aatunen: 8 (3)
Uolevi: 7 (2)
Prpic: 5 (1)
Tkermec: 5 (2)
Axelsson: 4 (2)
Kolkka: 3 (1)
Markkunen: 3
Haakana: 2 (2)
Demkjo: 1
Volodov: 1

Now we face Valanora, formerly Elves Security Forces, second highest ranked and second most experienced side left in the tournament. They will certainly be a challenge for the Pchychoes, having played in a few recent semifinals and riding a streak of 6 straight quarterfinal appearances. The one weakness seems to be the expectations of their fans and the Valanoran media. While Squornshelous is certainly a high pressure environment for footballers, Valanora have the added pressure of never having hoisted the cup, despite occasional predictions by their home media of ultimate victory. Ordinarily, we wouldn't expect footballers to be so easily distracted, but when surrounded by such optimism, and having risen so far so fast, it's easy to get overconfident. Not that the Pschychoes can bank on silly mistakes, they'll just have to play their usual solid attacking game and see what happens. If recent matches are any indication, Valanora will need to put up at least four goals for a win, as the Pschychoes are averaging just over three per match in the finals.

Zwangzug

12-12-2007, 22:29

The earlier you fell behind, the more time you had to catch up: whether accurate or not, Bartholomew was taking it to heart. Patette's pass to Miquelinho gave the Turtles a goal in the seventh minute, and it was Sel Appa's game from there.

From his height, he could see the game unfold, though there wasn't much to see for the rest of the first half. For those looking for action, anyhow: the talented players enacted subtle strategies that Bartholomew was too used to to notice. Rengel's parries, Brendan's sprints, and Jacob's short passes blurred together as the first half passed.

"What's going on out there?" Mcgimpy asked at halftime, half humorous, half disappointed. "Barnes, what's with you? We've got a football match here!"

"Words of wisdom?" Andrew asked Jacob teasingly.

"Come on, you guys know what to do," he muttered half-heartedly.

Bartholomew's view for the second half was no more pleasant than the first. Ghotiolo scored off a pass from al-Jafari, Andrew and Gepardo were given yellow cards after a controversial shot on goal, and Miquelinho scored again to make it 3-0.

All too soon, he was loping off the field, exhausted. The fatigue was about the only thing in which he could take pride. Not since the qualifiers for World Cup 36 had Zwangzug gone down by as many goals. He'd been...if not as young as he looked, at least less aware of the nuances he could notice. There had been no moment of truth, only draining matches and improbable victories. But they'd added together to create a comforting consciousness. He didn't need to be actively participating to appreciate the beauty of the game. It was time to give someone else a shot, and they were ready for it.

Elves Security Forces

13-12-2007, 00:21

The entire squad and coaching staff is relaxing outside their hotel, with some sitting by the pool while a few others where playing some table tennis. Constant then whistled for the squad to gather around him and he spoke with a resounding excitedness in his voice "Can you taste it lads, can you taste that sweet nector of victory that is so rightfully yours?"

It was met with a loud cry of unison from the players "Aye!"

"For forty years we've been trying our darnest to make a name for ourselves in this stage of stages. We've set records, had wins, had very near close calls, but never have we been in such prime position to finally hoist the trophy. All the top competition, bar the Gnomes of Az-cz, have been eliminated, and whilst Tynelia and Squornshelous are worthy adversieries, they are not elite competition. The Gnomes have had their taste of glory, and it is now our turn to dip into that elustrious group who have won. Come eight days time, I want to be drinking from the Cup, I want to be passing it on to each and everyone of you sip some of that great Travesian wine from that great trophy. I want each and every one of you to return home as champions and heros, legends of our time, legends of all time. What say you?"

"On behalf of the team, I promise you Justinian that we will give you everything we have to win these next two games. I know that we have had our ups and downs through the history, and even this tournament. Some of us have taken minutes off, or been mentally not ready for a game, but with soo much at stake, you can bet your life that this squad is ready to lay down it's life for you and this country. Our honor, our glory, our pride, and a championship is in the balance, and every man, woman, and even the two kids in this squad knows that and knows what they must do. Our shame would be too great to not perform now, when it really matters." a tear slid down Ashley Riot's face, as the veteran midfielder gave his passionate responce to his manager.

"I know you will Ashley, I know how much this means to you, to all of you. Espically those of you from Assegai and Turruth Gordur who never tasted a victory in the Proper, much less make it for you Turruth Gordurians. Broken we were strong individually, not able to reach that final glory, that push towards eternal greatness. But now, as a single entity under this Valanora, we are ready to make it there. Together, we will show them all why it is a united squad with a group of talented individuals who rely on one another, all of whom come from quite different backgrounds, are superior to those professionals who are merely doing it for the entitlement of being a champion, instead of those who do it for thier country, for their honor, and for their entire squad. Now let us finish this ride, finish this challange strong, and let a new star shine."

Jeruselem

13-12-2007, 00:43

Scandal! Magazine

We reveal Skate's father!

Right, Kate Dallas - soon to be Queen of Jeruselem! Who is her father? Considering her mother isn't picky about who fathers her children, it's not an easy task to work out who's been fathering Dazza's kids.

At Scandal! Magazine, we've been checking the timelines and we think we know who is Kate Dallas's father. It's ... RICKY POINTY STICK.

We checked when Skate was born and moved back 9 months which somehow coincided with Dazza Dallas being in Qazox for a cycling tour with Ricky Pointy Stick. Ricky is a Qazoxian who moved to Jeruselem and later married a local girl.

So this means Kate Dallas is 50% Qazoxian, 25% Ariddian and 25% Jeruselemite. Is this bad for our royal family? No, it's good - no inbreeding with those Dallas girls around.

We spoke to the Pointy Stick family and confirmed the timelines and the once-off fling with Dazza Dallas. Ricky's son - Rocky who married Kate's niece Rashina wasn't very surprised. We didn't get response from the Royal family but they said they will conduct a DNA test to test our theory. They didn't discount the result either considering what Dazza Dallas gets upto away from home.

Vephrall

13-12-2007, 01:01

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/vephrall/Tociast.png

Coming up next on Tociast...

The World Cup has reached the semifinals and we bring you both of these exciting matchups. First, live from Ellime e Vephrall in Meice, Az-cz is the only remaining nation ranked in the top seven. Will they too get upset by first-time semifinalists Tynelia?

Then, after that, we take you across the border to Kura-Pelland as undefeated Valanora tries to hold off the resurgent Pschychoes of Squornshelous at Fariynuff's Roflcoptre Dome.

It's all right here on Tociast - Vephrall's home for the World Cup.

{semifinal RP cutoff}

Elves Security Forces

13-12-2007, 11:31

Valanora Express
Sickening Twist of Fate

Aye, as the nation laments it's first loss in the entire thirty-eighth edition of the World Cup, many will be cursing the goddesses and wondering why now was the time to deal such a cruel blow. Others surely must be questioning what might had been, and how close the nation was to finally adding that coveted piece of hardware to the display stand in the Hatire Memorial. From Raynor City to Timorlug and all the way to Lea Monde, the populace of Valanora surely must be expierencing a field of emotions after the beloved football squad was felled in the semi-final of the World Cup. And in what manner that the oppisition was allowed their victory must be leaving every punter with a very sickening feeling in the pit of their stomache.

Things were amiss before the match was even set to begin. The squad's alternate green jerseys, which they declared they would be wearing for the match, never arrived at the stadium, but the white away jerseys had. Not thinking too terribly much of it, the squad informed the officials about the mix up, and went out ready to bring home another victory, very calm and relaxed. Things would start well for the Marauders as just three minutes into the fray and they would be first on the scoreboard. Ashley Riot brought the ball down the middle, and thanks to a give and go with Laborious, was free on in with Kiso trailing. As Paavalainen came out to close off the angle, the veteran midfielder deliverred a neat drop pass that eluded Pahlsson who was backtracking, and Night got the easy one touch into an empty net to give Valanora the early lead.

The Pschychoes looked to respond back quickly with Ilmari giving the ball a rocket of a blast into the far right corner, but Yoshida was there with lightning quick reflexes to punch out to Nazg. It would be the first of many fine saves for the sturdy Assegain. The Marauders would once again push against their oppenents, this time on a patented counter-attack with Laborious and Riot leading the way, and Riot snatching a goal from twenty yards out on a lob that caught the keeper napping. The two of them were really on their games early and thirteen minutes later, it would be Riot who would feed Laborious into acres of space. Given such an oppurtunity, the talented midfielder made no mistake and bombed one past Paavalainen and the large Valanora section roared with approval. Three nil up half an hour in, it seemed like the Marauders were well on their way to their first final appearance and the chance to play for the title that the squad, media, and nation so badly desired.

Yet the begining of the end started to unfold a minute before the half was set to end. Aatunen was able use his blazing speed to trickle through the Marauder defence and turn Yoshida to get the easy score and give his side some hope going into the break. Yet, for the score, it would not be what sealed the Elves fate, but a rogue boot from the young Prpic to the face of Yoshida as the midfielder went to celebrate with his teammate. The talented goalkeeper lay motionless on the ground and the strecher had to come carry him off. Doctors have since diagnosed the Assegain with a severe concussion and a broken nose.

With the number one keeper on his way to the hospital, the Green and Black had to thrust a cold Edward van Posey in between the pipes. There was some hope that since the half ended as soon as Yoshida was strechered off, that the practice during the half would be enough to get this talented keeper ready for the second half. It had been over a year since van Posey had seen action for the Marauders, and that was in the last two matches of qualifying, when everything had been wrapped up. This gave would prove that no matter how skilled a keeper may or may not be, that if they are not given the proper amount of time to prepare, that there is little they could do to prevent goals as Aatunen would burn the Marauders again shortly after the restart, twice on break-aways that van Posey was simply not ready to contend with. He would settle down after allowing the two quick goals to let the Psychoes equalize, but a misjudgement on a corss in the sixty-fourth allowed Uolevi to get a head to the ball and put Valanora behind for the first time in the match.

Constant, now under quite a huge amount of pressure, decided to bring on a third striker in the young Anti Fresco in exchange for midfielder Javier Jaques, who had been beaten twice accounting for half of the Squornos goals up to that point. The change would pay dividends when the young striker, who had earlier nearly defeated Bettia, would smack a ball from the edge of the area that was laser guided into the far top corner. The entire stadium shook as the faithful roared, sang, and danced in utter jubilation. The match would surely be going to extra time, and likely penalties, where the Marauders historically had a good amount of success.

Oh but for those thousands of fans and the team, it was simply not to be. An absolute horror event happened in the second of four minutes of added time. Ilmari sent in a lob from the half way line for Aatunen to run onto. Well van Posey came out to the edge of his area to catch and secure the ball. That's when Aatunen jumped up to head the ball, but clearly missed, but landed right into van Posey, completely taking him out of the play. With no defenders within ten yards of the play, the ball hopped past the fallen players and rolled into the back of the net, leaving the entire stadium stunned. A third of the stadium then went into an absolute frenzy, while the rest where left speechless. As the referee whistled for the end of the match, the squad fell down in disbelief. A squad that was three goals up and cruising had just lost their first match in the tournament, lost the chance to vie for a title, and likely lost both of their managers with a single match.

Now the squad has to pick themselves up after this complete and utter dissapointment and try to defeat a very surprisng Tynelia squad in the Third placed playoff. Many thought this might of been the match up for the championship bout, but with both nations stumbling in the semis, they will have to be content with salvaging some pride and honor in taking third. Edward van Posey will get his shot at redemption, as the squad simply has no other keeper with them. It is not knowned if Constant will play his regular in what will likely be his last match in charged, but for those who do get the time on the pitch, they will likely be playing for their spot on next tournament's roster.

Valanora 4
Kiso Night (3)
Ashley Riot (17)
Laborious Hawk (30)
Anti Fresco (79)

Squornshelous 5
Aatunen (44, 49, 51)
Uolevi (64)
Ilmari (90+)
Prpic [] (45)

Article by Ron Santapa

Tynelia

13-12-2007, 14:41

“Brother James, the Lord of Scores has turned against us because of the villainy of the government. Denying Brother Lee of his great work in this cup and attributing it all to their Coach Jones. And so the Lord of Scores smote our team for its arrogance, falling to the gnomes 4-0. Nary a single blessing from our Lord. What shall we do Brother James?” Brother Alan charged into the room after the match.

“Be at ease Brother Alan. The Lord of Scores works in strange ways at times. He hath given us the great victory over Ariddia the match before to see if the unbelievers were ready to accept his true path. When the people in their ignorance looked away from Him, our Lord acted justly.” Brother James replied soothingly.

“But, such a crushing loss…” Brother Alan began before he was interrupted.

“Shows the people what happens without the Lord of Scores’ blessings being upon our team.” Brother James finished.

“Will he return his gaze to our team in the third place match? OR shall we fall again to an inglorious defeat?” Brother Alan worried.

“Whatever be His will Brother Alan. It is not our place to tell Him what to do, rather it is up to us to stand forth and show the Lord of Scores that we are worthy of His blessings, even if our numbers are but few. A single ray of light brightens even the darkest of places. Let us be the light for Tynelia and slowly but surely, as day follows night, bring the truth of our Lord to the unbelievers.” Brother James answered calmly.

“Glory be the Score and may it come to our team in Thy name O Lord of Scores!” Brother Alan replied piously.

“Let us pray then my brother.” Brother James said calmly.

<Elsewhere>

“Sir I’ve discovered the problem with the results of the last matches!” a young Agent said as he ran into Agent Smith’s office.

“Oh and what is that Agent…Harrison correct?” Agent Smith asked.

“Yes sir, fresh out of the Academy last semester. But I think the problems came in the satellite hookup. It seems there was a storm in the area with gusty winds and one of the houses near where the gnomes were training at had lots of lawn gnomes in their yard. The winds blew them around giving a false impression of an actual Az-cz practice which was recorded by the satellite and passed along to the team. That has to be why the team did so poorly sir.” Agent Harrison replied rapidly.

“I see, excellent work. Send in Agent Jones on your way out.”

“Yes sir!” Harrison replied exiting quickly as Agent Jones came into the room.

“Jones how have the negotiations with the orc clans gone? According to the documentaries I saw, they are the natural enemies of these Elves we face and getting a few orcs in the stands should prove to be a handy distraction.” Agent Smith demanded.

“Well sir, they declined our offer after we wouldn’t budge on giving them two dozen teenagers for their pre-game meal. They said something about jumping the elves after the match and eating them then.” Jones replied.

“And your response?”

“As per standing orders, my men and I shot and killed them all to avoid their revealing the plot.” Jones answered.

“Excellent work, I see you can clean up some of your messes at least. We need a win here. The nutbags are trying to get all over the press about how our disrespect of their flying soccer ball was the cause of our getting shutout. A win would silence them.” Agent Smith concluded.

“Yes sir, is Agent Jones up to the task?” asked Agent Jones curiously.

“It will be a tough run I am certain, had he proper time to work with the team I would be more confident but the Andrews incident seems to be bothering some of the players still. I forsee some difficulties here. But in any case Jones, I want you to get Agent Harrison and find out who had misprogramed our spy satellites to track on lawn gnomes instead of the real target. That will not happen again understood?”

“Yes sir.”

Ariddia

13-12-2007, 15:34

Sanderson resigns

Ariddian coach Jane Sanderson has resigned from her position, following Ariddia’s 1-2 quarter-final defeat against Tynelia. It is the second time in a row that the Rouge-et-Noirs have failed to reach the semi-finals of the World Cup.

Sanderson, who is 57, was formerly coach of Cité-Belle Centre football club in her native Ariddia. She later led the Ariddian national football team to World Championship in World Cup 36, earning high praise as a result.

The Ariddian Football Association has announced that former Archregimancy national player Fr. Innocent, born Aew Oj in Ariddia, will be the Rouge-et-Noirs’ new coach.

Az-cz

13-12-2007, 17:51

Amda-Mo: And for the second straight cup and the third time in the last six the Gnomes have made it to the finals of the World Cup, beating Tynelia in grand fashion 4-0.

Lur-Mn: When you think about the fact that this is only our ninth cup, the fact that we've already made our third finals is downright amazing. Look at teams like Bazalonia or the Archregimancy who've been at this for a long time and don't even have one trip to the championship game to their credit. It speaks volumes about our teams to have put ourselves in such lofty airs so quickly.

Amda-Mo: How do you feel to have been a part of that?

Lur-Mn: Wonderful, but let's be honest about my role. I was a small part of the only Az-cz squad not to qualify for the proper. We got the ball rolling, but it's this generation who's kicked the door down.

Amda-Mo: What is it that allows the squad to keep their faith so well. We've now accomplished to nearly unbelievable feats: 9 straight wins in must-win games in the cup and 9 straight wins in the knockout section of the tournament against teams other than Ariddia. The last time a team other than Ariddia beat us was back in World Cup 34.

Lur-Mn: Those are crazy numbers. And we've got to thanks Cafundeu and Tynelia for beating Ariddia to keep them away from us. <chuckles> I don't hav e an explanation for our foreign viewers about the Az-cz spirit. It just is what it is. That's how we were able to win the Water Polo championship, a sport which based on our size you'd think would be impossible. But that will to win is what makes us such a strong squad.

Amda-Mo: So now take us through how we were able to outplay Tynelia so thoroughly today.

Lur-Mn: Well it wasn't like the Sel Appan game where a glitch in their formation allowed us to run them over. It was just a solid brand of domination. And horrible coaching on their half. The coaching switch they made in the middle of the cup really cost them and Az-czzers have to be thanful for it. They never did come up with a good marking system and if our strikers were a bit more on target we realistically had a shot at setting the record for margin of victory. I mean we outshot them 27-3. And in the end the formula of better talent + better work ethic + far far better coaching will lead to victory basically every time.

Amda-Mo: So how much credit should we be giving the defense for their first shutout of the proper?

Lur-Mn: A fair amount. We did shut down the team that beat Ariddia. Part of it was to do poor play on their part but a team doesn't only get three shots off without both teams having something to do with it. So we have to give them credit. That being said stopping Squornshelous won't be nearly as easy. They live for offense and will be dying to reclaim what they believe is their proper place at the top of the football world. So they'll have to play better.

Amda-Mo: How does the fact that the two teams are friendly rivals affect the match?

Lur-Mn: It doesn't. Yes both teams know the other very well but in the end that should be basically a wash. In cases where one team has a far better coach of course it can have a big effect, but basically they ought to be able to get the same advantage out of it that we can.

Amda-Mo: Just like I asked you before the semifinals, who's under the most pressure?

Lur-Mn: Unquestionably we are. Both teams will be playing to solidify their place in history but we're one win away from doing something that even legendary teams like Starblaydia and Ariddia haven't, back to back titles. We're also fighting to keep those earlier mentioned streaks alive. So we've got more to play for, which means more pressure. And don't forget the fact that most thought Squornshelous wasn't even supposed to be here. They had slipped a bit from the very top echelon. So they get to play the underdog role here, which can be helpful for a teams mindset.

Amda-Mo: Let's analyze their match witch the Elves for a bit. Were you suprised by what happened out their?

Lur-Mn: Absolutely. They proved that they're no strangers to salvaging bad situations coming from behind 3-0 to take out the Elves. That's mad impressive. Yes it was bad form to fall behind by three goals, but to rally like that says a lot about their character. And their offense was a dream once it started clicking. They scored 5 goals in basically a half of football against a top ten team. That's scary.

Amda-Mo: So drawing from that what will we need to do to beat them?

Lur-Mn: 90 minutes of football. Or 120. Or penalties. The key is to never let up. Not for one minute. There's no question that either team has the talent to win the title, or the coaching or the intagibles. The question is which team will slip up. If one teams energy lags for even a little bit the other can make them pay. If the wrong decisions are made it could be costly. And all parts of the game will have to play well. We can't just say we need to focus on scoring or getting an early lead or playing defense or running down their endurance. We need to do everything well.

Amda-Mo: I guess that means you're expecting a close one.

Lur-Mn: Very close. I'm not convinced these easy wins we've turned up the last couple of rounds will continue. Here's hoping that we end up on the right side of it again.

Amda-Mo: We hope everyone comes back and joins us as we find out which nation pushes its name further into the upper reaches of World Cup history.

NationStates Jolt Archive

K-P-V World Cup 38: RP thread - Page 3