NationStates Jolt Archive

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World Cup 37
Ad'ihan - Novapsolu
RP Thread

Qualifying groups
Group 1
Errinundera [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029927&postcount=7)]
The Archregimancy [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13039964&postcount=40)]
Quakmybush [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13033720&postcount=22)]
Dance2Revolution
Jeru FC [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13039624&postcount=38)]
Delesa [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13035309&postcount=32)]
Integrite
Nebuleux

Group 2
Elves Security Forces [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029825&postcount=3)]
Wentland
Sativaville
Bushes Been Quaked
Cookesland [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13047155&postcount=49)]
Prux [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13034247&postcount=26)]
The Crescent Republic
Audioslavia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13030267&postcount=12)]

Group 3
Vilita
Tynelia
Bostopia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13030392&postcount=14)]
Grotewohl
Ulzaxid [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13048837&postcount=56)]
Tremarendakia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13037965&postcount=34)]
Barbeques
Boyancy

Group 4
Jeruselem [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029877&postcount=5)]
Qazox [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029724&postcount=2)]
Yafor 2 [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13033629&postcount=21)]
Candelaria and Marquez [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13030063&postcount=10)]
Billopesia
Miamoria
Rastafariburg
Kelssek [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13035201&postcount=29)]

Group 5
Unified Capitalizt States/Commerce Heights (Capitalizt SLANI) [INFO (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13047819&postcount=51), ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13047821&postcount=52)]
Squornshelous [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13033962&postcount=24)]
Kiryu-shi [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13048312&postcount=54)]
Swilatia
Turruth Gordur [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13041266&postcount=44)]
Recluse Island [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13040388&postcount=41)]
Vikingholm [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13039510&postcount=37)]
Miceland [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13053530&postcount=65)]

Group 6
Bettia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13043169&postcount=46)]
Turori
Geisenfried [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13031499&postcount=18)]
Kura-Pelland [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13051624&postcount=62)
Patusan [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029937&postcount=8)]
The Non-RPing n00b
The Indonesian States [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13051525&postcount=61)]
Zyla [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13040883&postcount=42)]

Group 7
Zwangzug [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13050585&postcount=59)]
Bazalonia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029861&postcount=4)]
Northern Bettia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13043303&postcount=47)]
Kristovenia
Aurendia
Minilla Island [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13034318&postcount=27)]
Vuam & Isma
Central Prestonia

Group 8
Milchama [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13031155&postcount=17)]
Cafundéu [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13033265&postcount=19)]
Commerce Heights JSY (자스연/Jasīʼyūn) [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13047824&postcount=50)]
Jariss
Rugiero
The Coshairs
New Brittonia
Miroxia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13033894&postcount=23)]

Group 9
Demot [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13030316&postcount=13)]
Oliverry [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13046930&postcount=48)]
Assegai Developments [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13041224&postcount=43)]
Daehanjeiguk [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029906&postcount=6)]
Endmile [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13061013&postcount=66)]
Limbrogidlia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13048184&postcount=53)]
Wehrmacher
Casari [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13039908&postcount=39)]

Group 10
Az-cz [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13034389&postcount=28)]
Sel Appa [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13038484&postcount=35)]
Estresse Intenso [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13033549&postcount=20)]
Vephrall [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13038797&postcount=36)]
British Londinium [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13050252&postcount=58)]
Kanisov [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13071172&postcount=67)]
Vanek Drury Brieres [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13053364&postcount=64)]
Naleloospalakintula [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13035241&postcount=31)]

Group 11
Ariddia [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13030114&postcount=11)]
Alasdair I Frosticus (The Holy Empire) [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13042805&postcount=45)]
Rejistania [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13053045&postcount=63)]
St Samuel [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13035217&postcount=30)]
Sorthern Northland [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13037820&postcount=33)]
Uiri [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13030950&postcount=15)]
Ambrose-Douglas
Konora [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13033967&postcount=25)]

Group 12
Schiavonia
The Lowland Clans
The HURD [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13050708&postcount=60)]
Lovisa [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13050131&postcount=57)]
Qutar
Taeshan [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13031021&postcount=16)]
Oickoidia
Solenial [ROSTER (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029944&postcount=9)]

Matchdays 8 through 14 are matchdays 1 through 7, but with home and away teams flipped.
MD1: 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5
MD2: 3v1, 8v2, 7v4, 6v5
MD3: 1v5, 2v4, 8v3, 6v7
MD4: 7v1, 6v2, 5v3, 8v4
MD5: 1v2, 3v7, 4v6, 5v8
MD6: 4v1, 2v3, 7v5, 8v6
MD7: 1v6, 5v2, 3v4, 7v8

The top two teams from each group qualify for the finals. The third-placed teams will be drawn randomly against each other and play two-leg playoffs for the remaining spots.

Friendlies
Aside from the friendlies already scheduled in the discussion thread, if there are further friendlies you wish scorinated, please telegram ONE of the cohosts with the opponent, and venue.

As there are no bye days, we'll shortly be figuring out how to score your friendlies already scheduled, unless you have given specific instructions on when they should be done.

Schedule
All scorination will be done at roughly 03:00 UTC (11 pm U.S. Eastern, 4 am British, 5 am Central European, 11 am Asia-Pacific, 12 pm Tokyo, 1 pm Australian Eastern).

All dates UTC
12 September: qualifying group draw
14 September: qualifying matchday 1
…
20 September: qualifying matchday 7
21 September: Friendlies + playoff draw
22 September: qualifying matchday 8
…
28 September: qualifying matchday 14
…
1 October: playoff first leg
2 October: playoff second leg
4 October: finals group stage draw
…
6 October: first round matchday 1
8 October: first round matchday 2
10 October: first round matchday 3
12 October: second round
14 October: quarterfinals
16 October: semifinals
17 October: third place match
18 October: final

Links
WC37 Pre-cup RP thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=537318)
WC37 roster thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=537573)
WC37 scores thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=538148)

PRUXTON PRESS

PRAWNS Face tough challenge in Group Draw

Despite winning the BoF, Prux is not one of the favorites to advance to World Cup 37. The group Draw was today and Here is the competition, with a note about each teams:

(Please Note Rankings are from After World Cup 36)

#3 Elves Security Forces: Have been one of the better teams in the World recently, One of the Early Favorites to win the Cup.

#16 Wentland : A consistant title competitor, should qualify easily, but can this team take it to the next level in the Cup?

#40 Sativaville: Best team in the world that has not been in the World Cup, can they finally break through?

#52 Bushes Been Quaked: Decent team, but not enough talent to qualify.

#56 Cookesland: See above

UNR Prux: That's us!

UNR The Crescent Republic: Didn't do well at the BoF, but may upset a few teams.

UNR Audioslavia: Once one of the best teams in the world, but 50 years away from the Cup have reduced the team to pretenter staus, still dangerous.

As mentioned Before, President Glenn Quagmire will be accompaning the team to all of its international matches.

We wish the Prawns the best of luck and to upset a few teams along the way.

Michael Maclusky was flipping through the channels, sitting in his dorm room. Nothing was on.

Nothing was ever on.

The withdrawal of the team from most international competitions wasn't a well thought out one- teams had stagnated and slowly died without international competition.

The phone rang next to him, the caller ID reading "Pan Erolli". Sighing, he picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Mike, channel 22. Now."

"If it's the breast exam thing-"

"That's channel 21. Turn it!"

Michael turned the channel to see the end of the report. "-thirty seven. The first teams on the waiting list will be admitted to the cup until the desired number of teams are taking part. Thank you, this has been CBA Sport, and we'll see you tomorrow night."

"The waiting list is empty." Pan said.

"What the hell do you mean?"

"No one's waiting to enter!"

"I smell a shitty plan. A very shitty plan."

"We could enter!"

Mike turned and slammed the phone down. "Dumbass." There was a knock on the door a second later. Mike sat for a second before getting up and answering. "Where do you come up with this stuff?"

"Remember when we were kids? Watching Ronalo and LeMurry tear it up? Remember Twenty-Nine? I know you still have the 2-0 Bedistan shirt we bought from that booth in the street in the back of your closet. Come on, this could be it! The World Cup, us!"

"First, they'd catch us. They know better. And second, we'd get murdered! MUR-DER-ED." Mike said, shaking his head.

"Screw it! How on earth would they know? And we'd be playing! We'd be in the books. I know you want to be in the books." Pan sad.

Mike stood, staring at Pan. "You knew to come to me first."

"What?"

"You knew I'd be the soft touch. The one who was the easy sell."

"I did." Pan answered. "Because I knew you'd want to."

"... Damnit. I try to get out and you suck me back in."

"You never leave."

"That's true. Call Barney and Lewis... Lucia, maybe?"

Pan nodded, dialing his cell phone.

"I'll get my keys and open a room, say... 212 Jefferson Hall."

Pan laughed. "I also knew you'd take charge."

---

That night, Mike and Pan stood at the front of the classroom, twenty pairs of eyes drilling into them as they tried to look confident while pitching the most ill-concieved plan in the history of the world.

"What on earth are you two on?" Lucia Ellan said, crossing her arms. "I told you not to buy weed from that Spruit kid."

"We're not high!" Pan said, slamming his hand down on a desk.

"You must be, because no f**king sane person would come up with this!"

Mike sighed. "If you don't want to be a part of this, leave. It's not like we can tell you what'll happen."

The audience shifted around nervously.

"This is bloody insane. Bloody f**king insane!" Barney Sellar yelled. "How on earth would we compete?"

"We did it before." Mike said nervously. There was a lot more anti-idea sentiment than he'd thought- but he was the easy sell, and everyone knew it.

"Those were professionals! They had a manager! They had infrastructure! Hell, we're making moonshine in a still in the woods because we're broke!"

"So?"

Barney stopped. "So? What the hell does that mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Why let it stop you?"

Barney sank back in his seat.

"... anyone else?" Pan asked quietly, looking around. Everyone looked at the walls.

In the back, the generally quiet Silvia Hill stood against the wall. "I'm in."

Everyone turned and looked.

"... What?"

Slowly, the rest of the group took a deep sigh of resignation.

"How would we play? Formation, strategy?"

Everyone sat for a moment. "We'll play the way they always did, 3-1-2-1-3." Andy Rikan said, putting his hands behind his head.

"I think they try to call that 3-4-3 Diamond or something now." Mike said.

"And they suck." he replied, shrugging.

"The Field." Mike continued. "There's nothing even close to a international-capable stadium in Casari left."

"At least, nothing good enough to play in." Pan added.

"We don't need a stadium." Lori Arienn said. "We need a place to play. We could go out to the Wilson Downs. There's plenty of fields out there, and no one uses them except on Thursday nights. We'll get some spraypaint, put down some lines, and play out there. Worse comes to worse, we can always find another field, or play in a park."

"Uniforms." Mike said.

"Not an issue." Lewis Sarr replied. "The sporting goods store I work at downtown is sitting on acres of old merchandise, including some old National team kits. I'll swipe us a box."

"Travel?" Pan said, biting his lip.

Silvia squirmed a bit. "My parents have enough frequent flyer miles to get to a few games... we can always try to raise some money."

Mike blinked. "There has to be more to it than this. It's the World Cup, don't they have things in place to catch people like us?"

Pan shrugged. "Pfft, not our issue if they don't catch us. I'll write a letter, real formal, submitting a roster... we should figure out who gets what number, I suppose."

"And positions." Barney added.

"It still bugs me. Shouldn't it be more complicated than this?" Ari Wilson said.

"One would hope. It is the World Cup." Mike said.

"Who cares. Casari's in the World Cup again, from the bottom to the top to the bottom again..."

"... but not if we have anything to say about it, of course." Mike said.

---

Mike sat on the edge of the roof, his legs dangling over the side, looking up at the stars. "How do they keep doing this to me." he muttered, looking up at the stars.

"I thought you did a good job." a voice said quietly from behind him. Turning to look, he saw Silvia half out of the door, watching.

"Oh... um, thanks." Silvia said, sliding out of the door.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" Mike said, looking at the ground, 20 feet below.

"I dunno, you could fall off the edge."

"No, no- this whole stupid plan. I mean, there can't be many people who will like it."

"Well... do you want to do it?" Silvia said, standing a few feet behind him.

Mike let out a single laugh. "Since I was six."

"Well, there you go." She said. "Good view from up here."

"Aye, no kidding." Mike said. "Should go. I actually think I have a test tomorrow."

Silvia nodded.

"Coming?" Mike said, walking to the door.

"No... I think I'll stay up here a bit, I need to think."

"It's good for that, at least. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah... see you."

Solenial Herald

World Cup Draw Announced!!

Today Solenial woke up to find that they were to be placed in Group 12 in the Up and Coming World Cup, which starts in 3 Days time. They are drew with teams that seem quite strong but the Team remain very confident,

Quite Honestly, I'd like to come first in the Qualifying Round, anyone would and you can't fault the confidence. But the matter of coming First is the hardest challenge i will face as a manager. I have King back from Injury, Van Frigh back from injury and also Palema! I'd like to think a 2nd Place spot is achievable and i think if we work hard, we could just make it."

As the Manager said their, the Suad is up for the Battle. The Matches Solenial will play in the qualifiers are as follows:

14/9: Schiavonia (H)
15/9: The Lowland Clans (A)
16/9: The HURD (H)
17/9: Lovisa (A)
18/9: Qutar (H)
19/9: Taeshan (A)
20/9: Ambrose-Douglas (H)
22/9: Schiavonia (A)
23/9: The Lowland Clans (H)
24/9: The HURD (A)
25/9: Lovisa (H)
26/9: Qutar (A)
27/9: Taeshan (H)
28/9: Ambrose-Douglas (A)

That's all on the International News, for the Domestic League go to:

p 81-90

OOC: Part of the below was originally posted in the pre-World Cup thread, but it's central enough to the Holy Empire's RPing this campaign that I wanted it to feature in the main RP thread as well. Thanks to Zwangzug for inspiring me to gently rework Coleridge's original notes to Kubla Khan for this extended version.

The following poetic fragment is here published at the request of the Holy Empire Football Association and, as far as the Author's own opinions are concerned, rather as a psychological curiosity, than on the ground of any supposed poetic merits.

In the summer before World Cup 37, the Author, then in ill health, had retired to a lonely farm-house between Philadelphia and New Nicea, near the mountains on the boundary between the Chaco and the Coastal Plain. In consequence of a slight indisposition, an anodyne had been prescribed, from the effects of which he fell asleep in his chair at the moment that he was reading the following sentence, or words of the same substance, in a history of World Cup 2: "Here the Basileus commanded a football stadium to be built, and a stately garden around it. And thus ten miles of fertile ground were inclosed with a wall.'' The Author continued for about three hours in a profound sleep, at least of the external senses, during which time he has the most vivid confidence, that he could not have composed less than from two to three hundred lines; if that indeed can be called composition in which all the images rose up before him as things, with a parallel production of the correspondent expressions, without any sensation or consciousness of effort. On awakening he appeared to himself to have a distinct recollection of the whole, and taking his pen, ink, and paper, instantly and eagerly wrote down the lines that are here preserved. At this moment he was unfortunately called out by a rather famished person from Patusan, and detained by him in discussion of obscure recipes for human flesh above an hour, and on his return to his room, found, to his no small surprise and mortification, that though he still retained some vague and dim recollection of the general purport of the vision, yet, with the exception of some eight or ten scattered lines and images, all the rest had passed away like the images on the surface of a stream into which a stone has been cast, but, alas! without the after restoration of the latter!

Yet from the still surviving recollections in his mind, the Author has frequently purposed to finish for himself what had been originally, as it were, given to him. But the to-morrow is yet to come.

As a contrast to this vision, I have annexed a fragment of a very different character, describing with equal fidelity the dream of footballing triumph.



JUAN TZIMISCES

Or, A Vision in a Dream
A Fragment

By Samuelo Coleridges
An Imperial Poet


In our city fair did the Basileus
A stately stadium-dome decree :
Where Juan, the sacred player, ran
Through terraces measureless to man

Down to a sunless field.

So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round :
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree ;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
But oh ! that deep romantic ground now planted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover !
A sporting place ! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By supporters wailing for their team and lover !

And from this ground, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty match momently was forced :
Amid whose swift half-intermitted play
Huge forwards vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail :
And 'mid these dancing squads at once and ever
Was flung up momently the sacred player.
Five miles dribbling with a mazy motion
Towards the goal the sacred player ran,
Then unleashed a thunderbolt as he alone can,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean :
And 'mid this tumult Tzimisces heard from within
Ancestral voices prophesying the win !

The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on his form ;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the terraces and the stands.

It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny stadium-dome with stands of ice !
A supporter with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw :
It was a St. Mary's City maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of the Meteora.
Could Juan revive within him
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win him,

That with music loud and long,
He could win within that dome in air,
That sunny dome ! those stands of ice !
And all who heard should see him there,
And all should cry, Beware ! Beware !
His flashing eyes, his floating hair !
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And scored a goal in Paradise.

Bob the Bookie frowned as he flipped through The Nationstates World Cup For The Profoundly Retarded, before beckoning his assistant over.

"Alright, take dictation, bud. 'Ariddia very good... Casari good... Kelssek gibberingly useless...'"

"Is that right from the book, boss?"

"Yes. Unfortunately I still have no idea who's better or worse than who which makes setting odds pretty hard."

"You could always just look at the KPB rankings, boss."

"Are you calling me profoundly retarded?"

"No, boss."

"I think there's a reason the KPB rankings are available free on the internet but a book of analysis like this costs $40, don't you?"

"Yes, boss."

http://img470.imageshack.us/img470/8564/jgnlogohe2.png

world Cup 37 Group Draw review by the Princess herself

Hello, it's Katie girl here. Jeruselem have been placed in Group 4 for the World Cup 37. We have a very interesting group indeed.

Jeruselem
Qazox
Yafor 2
Candelaria and Marquez
Billopesia
Miamoria
Rastafariburg
Kelssek

We have played all but two of these teams in the World Cup and some tournament before, so we aren't in a sea of strangers for once. No Ariddia or Bettia so we're happy as we are top puppy dog in this group. Well, actually the chance of us playing another top 12 team were about zero since we were a top 12 team so there it is.

Miamoria and Rastafariburg

No idea! But they shouldn't be a threat to us anyway. The other teams are scarier really but then these teams have bloody hard to spell names though. No I'm not going try to make any kind of pronounciations for you as well, you folks can make your own minds up.

Kelssek

Not an Uber-power by any means but a team to respect. I don't expect to top 2 finish with this opponent but they will probably make a good run at the top 4. They drew with Ariddia in recent tournament so they make things happen. The team with the shortest name in our group.

Billopesia

Another team with horribly hard name to spell. They have been around and really try hard but have trouble against the big boys (or girls) like us. We can't say they won't qualify but there's better teams in this group. These guys won't come last.

Candelaria and Marquez

The Dark Horsey! A team which we have noticed recently and with the longest name in this group. We think top 4 material in this group and maybe even top 3 if the better teams struggle. Err, I'm just call them C&M since very few other nations have a compound name. No, don't call them S&M!

Yafor 2

The Guptas are rising once again. They aren't quite the threat to us like Qazox is but they are real top 3 contender here. While they have qualified for last cup like Qazox and Jeruselem did in the World Cup 37, they have overcome their problems with the bigger teams because their finals record isn't too hot. They have qualified before and in fact with a Jeruselem female coach but after that, things have gone downhill.

Qazox

Oxen or Pheonix! Err, I'll just call them Qazox. Between Jeruselem and Qazox, we should take the top two spots unless one of us runs right off the rails. Yes, we do regard Qazox as our biggest threat as we know they can qualify or almost qualify. Oh, Qazox have a Jeruselem coach! His name is Jason Fowler - and we don't know much about him. So Katie girl called the nice people in the Inquisition! Apparently, he had trouble getting into our national team so he went overseas to seek his fame and fortune. He never played for Jeruselem but he wasn't the nicest person either. The Inquisition folks say he's a bit of control freak.

Jeruselem

Hey, that's us! We screwed up last cup when ZwangZug went though ahead of us to the 2nd round but this time, with the Princess on the job - we are not going to be so lazy.

OK, what does Katie girl think the result could be? I think it's going look like

Jeruselem
Qazox
Candelaria and Marquez
Yafor 2
Kelssek
Billopesia
<everyone else>

I'm not going to discuss the merits of the other groups as well, I would ramble for quite a while talking about the other 11 groups with their issues. I will look at Group 1 where fellow team Jeru FC is.

Group 1
Errinundera
The Archregimancy
Quakmybush
Dance2Revolution
Jeru FC
Delesa
Integrite
Nebuleux

As you can see, Jeru FC are pretty much f**ked up. Jeru FC will not come last but the best I expect is 5th since all the above teams are so much better and really, even teams like Delesa will be troublesome for Jeru FC. Maybe, they can do well against the lowest two teams. There is no way they Jeru FC will be top 3 as you can see who they are up against.

Let's home Tunky and his army boys can look good and show the world our lesser team isn't totally crap. A total of two wins in two cups, so there's alot to improve on.

Mum has told me to tell the good people out there, the number 13 "Princess" jersey is on sale now. Yeah, my jersey. Me running around in Mum's number 13 and with the name Princess! Well, I am a real Princess. Yes, other teams may have female players with a nickname "Princess" but I'm the real deal folks.

In the past, a Princess was protected but this is the modern world. A Princess has a little for freedom. That's it - and as Mum says

ON YA BIKE

Hey, I've heard some people have been debating who's hotter - me or Mum! There is no need for that! I'm a pale imitation of my mother folks.

A military bus stops outside a "Kinky Kitties" nightclub, and whole of drunk soldier wobble their way into it. Dazza Dallas look-alike girls in sexy cute bunny suits farewell the soldiers as they leave. It was the Jeru FC team's last party before getting on the official World Cup 37 campaign.

Tunk: OK guys? You had a good time?
Team: Yes, we love that nightclub!
Tunk: well, enjoy while you can - it's the last visit for a while. You are lucky to have places like that in Jeruselem, good thing that Dazza Dallas is around.
Team: She's the best!

Tunk:
Well, from now on - it's all hard work from now. Tomorrow, we really hit the training hard - I want 100% or more. Remember, you're not just an army team - you're a national team too. You are representing the people of Jeruselem just like our other team. No more girls, no more drinking in the late hours, no more womanising around - I'm serious. We want TWO Jeruselem teams in the qualifiers. We start tomorrow! So get rid of that hangover tonight and we'll be in business.

The team were tired and don't say much, some are asleep. Most weren't really paying attention either. Some had some phone numbers from the girls in the club.

Tunk got an SMS reading
Group 1
Errinundera
The Archregimancy
Quakmybush
Dance2Revolution
Jeru FC
Delesa
Integrite
Nebuleux

His team was screwed again.

Mark Baker awoke from a deep sleep, his mind still filled with images of large, malevolent, multi-limbed musical instruments trying to get a tune out of several tiny, naked human beings. The utter misery of the small saxophonied man would linger long in his memory, he felt. Or at least until some form of caffeine had been ingested.

The coach of the Candelaria And Marquez national football team – a slightly pointless and forgettable outfit – struggled manfully downstairs in his boxers and made for the fridge door. He paused thoughtfully.

Sitting conspicuously amongst the multi-coloured plastic letters was a yellow post-it note, firmly attached to the door by the added means of three lumps of blue-tac and fluff-collecting piece of cellotape. Through blurry morning eyes, he attempted to work out what was scrawled on it in biro. He gave up temporarily to consider the effectiveness of brand names in household stationary; before pinioning gracefully to face his equally drowsy wife.

“Wozzat?”

She peered at the fridge. “World Cup draw, dear. Four this morning…” Mark placed his head in his hands. “I did tell you…” she told him, defensively.

He waved a conciliatory hand. Blame lay with the national FA… or “Soccer Association” as they insisted on calling themselves. Oh, they tried hard, bless ‘em. Made a lot of noise, made themselves known. But then so did Vanek Drury Briers, and look where that gets them… Following up their splendid achievement in forgetting to apply for the Di Brandininini thingy; they for the second time in two years (or was it four? Or several months? Mark had long since given up trying to keep up with the long-term passage of time outside of his home islands) they had neglected to charter a plane to see the draw in the host country, leaving Mark and his staff stuck in Albrecht; and the Candelariasian community in Adi’han (George Smith, a quality surveyor who’d lost his passport on holiday in Liverpool England and with no C&M embassy available had had little choice but to seek citizenship in the neighbouring principality) left to wear the natty little name-tag things and do interviews for the world’s media. Mark didn’t care to imagine what that would have done for the country’s image abroad.

His mobile trilled the Heroes theme a dozen or so times before he found it lodged down the back of the sofa. It revealed a call from Ignacio Vélez. After a few weeks of assiduous training sessions with his national squad; Mark was familiar enough with the precise sounds made by the movements of the boy’s saliva to tell that his toothy young striker was beaming happily.

“’Ows about that then, gaffer?” Ignacio drawled. “Sel Appa’s, eh?”

Mark wracked his first-thing-in-the-morning-addled brain. “The boff hosts, weren’t they? Big into reptilian marine life?”

“Slappers!” Vélez qualified, happily. “Jeruselem’s coming to town, no?”

Mark rolled his eyes. He failed utterly to understand his peoples’ new-found fascination with the godawful Dallas creatures and their kin. But then Ignacio probably had ulterior motives – he was a talented boy, an early shower session had revealed, and wasn’t averse to a bit of extra-curricular how’s-your-papa.

“Right, well, that’ll be something to look forward to,” Mark muttered bitterly. “Look, Iggy, I kind of didn’t actually sort of see the draw, so… Who else have we got? In the event thee were paying any attention?”

“Um… I wrote it down here somewhere…” The younger man ruffled through some papers. “Qazox again, I remember that. Third game. Away, I think.”

Mark cringed again. They’d got a 2-2 draw with the… (what did they call themselves? That new way they taught kids to read, wasn’t it? Phonics?)… at home last time around, but it had been their first competitive game at the MSS. Away from home, Yancy Fry had very politely eaten them.

“Yafor 2. Um. As well. They call themselves the Golden Wolves, y’know?”

“Very poetic.” Baker sighed. He’d been rather hoping C&M’d manage to wangle only two sides present at the last world cup, even if the Yaforites had only gained a solitary point. He wondered vaguely where the next Cup of Harmony was going to be held. “Gowon then, Igs… Put me out of my misery.”

“Arright. Billopesha at home first, yeah? They’re second-timers like us, Mott Johnson said on the telly. Um… Miamoria…”

“Who?”

“Oh, tiddly little fanatically capitalist place, Johnners said. Wern’t up to too much in the boff. Oh, Rastafariburg, that’s our first game. And that’s your lot.” He paused. “Oh, and Kelssek.”

Mark spat out his coffee. “They’re one of the ‘newbies’?! But they’re huge.”

“I know. Isn’t it great?”

There was still dew on the Downs the next morning when the team took the field, complete in new (slightly stolen) uniforms, (blatantly stolen) cleats, and a few tents serving as dressing rooms.

Pan was setting about organizing practice. "We'll start with a bit of a run, huh?" The groans were minor- most everyone was anxious to get started, and a few had begun streching when a truck pulled up, painted in the colors of a Casari Broadcasting Alliance news crew. A reporter jumped out and ran up at a half sprint, as a cameraman quickly got his things together. "Hey, Artie Sallison, CBA, we were hoping to get some interviews?"

The players stared at each other, before Mike pushed his way to the front. "Interviews with who?"

"The World Cup team. We heard a rumor they were practicing out here after seeing Casari on the lists for qualification."

"... um... that's not us."

"Don't pull that shit." Artie said. "Word's out. We already reported it on the morning news. They know some smartass kids have entered themselves into the World Cup as Casari, and everyone wants to know who you are." The cameraman had his camera ready.

In the middle of the field, Lucia was juggling a ball. "Hey, Tara! Twenty sels I can hit the crossbar!"

"To hell with you, you're on!" Tara yelled back, walking out to the spot. Setting the ball down, Lucia adressed the ball and kicked it cleanly, watching it sail through the air, curve, and land just to the right of the goal.

Tara pumped her fist. "Twenty sels, easy."

Artie and his cameraman looked at each other. "... can you all do that?"

Mike blinked. "What, try to hit the crossbar? Do we look like we're seven?"

---

The team stared, watching themselves introduce themselves on TV and take shots at the crossbar of the goal from midfield. It was Silvia who managed to hit the crossbar- the only one, as it was, which made an easy splice job to put her at the end. There was even some nice background music, a bit of history,

"The National Team currently intends to play their games out on the Wilson Downs, so on the good side, admission is free. However, I would expect them to be a bit overmatched."

Barney flashed the set the V-sign. "That reporter didn't know how to wipe his own butt, much less anything about soccer."

The reporter lapsed into some banter with the reporter. "Silvia Hill, isn't she the daughter of former Manager Vivica Hill?"

"From what we can tell, that's correct. It seems that the National Team is their family business."

For a second, the room was dead silent, before everyone turned to stare at Silvia, whose face was quickly progressing through all the possible shades of red.

Henry was the first to break the silence. "You're Coach Hill's daughter? And you didn't say?"

"Well... um... I never delt with attention well." Silvia said.

"Hey, what's it matter who her mom is? Not like her mom's here now." Mike said defensively.

Henry stared for a second longer. "... you're right, what's it matter."

Group 5
Capitalizt SLANI
Squornshelous
Kiryu-shi
Swilatia
Turruth Gordur
Recluse Island
Vikingholm
Miceland

Squornshelous have been drawn into Group Five, for their 33rd World Cup Qualifying Campaign. We are the second seed in the group, behind our hated enemies, and last cup's co-hosts, Capitalizt SLANI. Let's take a closer look at the six other teams:

Kiryu-shi are a team we met up with during last cup's qualifying. After some iffy play by the Pschychoes in a 2-2 draw to kick things off, we won decisively to begin the second half, 3-0. Kiryu-shi were left out of a playoff spot on goal differential. They should be able to beat that performance this time around.

Swilatia is a team we know a bit about, but there's been little recent contact between the sides. They also finished in fourth place last cup, one point behind Rejistania for the playoff spot. They just don't seem to show the upward movement and improvement that Kiryu-shi have. They'll have another decent run, but end up in fourth or fifth.

We don't know much about Turruth Gordur. They lost a qualification play-off match in extra time to The Holy Empire, missing out on World Cup 35 by the barest of margins, but did not return for World Cup 36. The time off may have blunted their skills somewhat, we see them finishing in sixth.

Recluse Island had a decent showing in the Baptism of Fire, or Hatchling Cup as hosts Sel-Appa called it this time around, finishing on top of Group, or Bale 1 with a perfect 12 points before losing in the next round to eventual champions, Prux. We see good things coming from this side, they'll surprise Turruth Gordur and give Swilatia a run for their money.

We're not entirely sure, but it appears that Vikingholm sent a team of actual viking warriors to the Hatchling Cup, complete with armor and weapons. While their football skills remain in question, we'll have to husband our starters against such a physically strong and violently inclined side. Their finish in the Hatchling Cup was an unimpressive 5 points and even goal differential.

The Mice of Miceland have returned to the international stage after some years off. They were approaching decency at the time of their departure, and we would have picked them to finish around the middle of a group like this. However, the intervening years will have taken their toll on Mouse football, and they'll be hard pressed to pick up many points.

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses
MD1: Squornshelous v Vikingholm
MD2: Miceland v Squornshelous
MD3: Squornshelous v Swilatia
MD4: Recluse Island v Squornshelous
MD5: Capitalizt SLANI v Squornshelous
MD6: Kiryu-shi v Squornshelous
MD7: Squornshelous v Turruth Gordur
MD8: Vikingholm v Squornshelous
MD9: Squornshelous v Miceland
MD10: Swilatia v Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous v Recluse Island
MD12: Squornshelous v Capitalizt SLANI
MD13: Squornshelous v Kiryu-shi
MD14: Turruth Gordur v Squornshelous

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Danielle Lévesque: About two hours ago, la Coupe du Monde was holding the group draw for the qualification for the main event, to take place dans la cité-État d'Ad'ihan, which is an enclave inside the Liverpudlian city of... Ad'ihan and en Novapsolu. André Guertin was at the national team players' practice earlier this morning to take comments about the draw.

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André Guertin: What seemed like a normal day for the national team, about to play la Limbrogidlie tomorrow. Le sélectionneur national, Roger Parizeau was training its team when a phone call came from the AOS president, Thomas Tardif, telling him to turn on the TV. While he was away, I decided to take the opportunity to ask the players about their friendly against la Limbrogidlie. Here are some answers:

Eugène Bolduc: La Limbrogidlie isn't a very tough opponent, but they seem to be very mean when it comes to play us. We'll have to beware their dirty play, but it should be a very interesting game.

Paul Le Roy: A win *laughters*. Well, to be serious, I expect a good game, physical, yeah, but a good game nonetheless. These Limbrogidlians are filthy and it should be easy to capitalise on their mistakes and their undisciplined play.

Franck Marceau: I expect a very easy game on defense. Not that they aren't threatening, but that, even if a target was 5 centimetres in front of them, they're shoot at least 30 centimetres wide. So yeah, an easy night on defense.

André Guertin: Then, Parizeau came back to announce the players that they were playing in Group 9, with la Limbrogidlie et le Démot. The players' reaction was a very happy one, as they'd have to play la Limbrogidlie twice. I heard one of them say "YEAH!! Two wins there!!"

Something I wasn't aware of then happened, as l'AOS wanted to keep that secret to the media. The players' official picture was also taken on that occasion, with Parizeau stating that this picture will officialise the team's composition for the next 2 and a half years.

But before, I could talk with Mr. Parizeau and here was what he had to say:

Roger Parizeau: I decided to go with young players. Why? Because a team made of young players is more likely to play better than a team made of 30 years-old, who will be exhausted and retire in 5 years from now. These players are very nice and should bring another qualification to the World Cup pour l'Oliverrie.

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André Guertin: The outlook is favourable for the national team, ready to face this World Cup of Soccer like it's never been before. A report from André Guertin, in Marshalliston.

The television is turned on. Slowly, the feed appears, in monochrome.

"And now we'll pause for station identification."

Pause for a few seconds.

"This is VMC-TV, channel one, an outlet of Vephraller Televisios. This station is broadcast in Meice, Speilers, and Misedos."

Pause again for a few more seconds, then cut to two men sitting behind a desk. Still in monochrome, of course.

ED: "Hello, sports fans, I'm Edroklis Dustele, and I'm here with Rirvymoles Kentisesh to bring you a preview of the qualifying stage for World Cup 37."

RK: "Yes, Ed, and quite a qualifying stage it's going to be."

ED: "We're going to start off by looking at our first opponents. We begin the trek at home against British Londinium."

RK: "British Londinium didn't look very impressive in World Cup 36. Four wins, two draws, and eight losses. They come in ranked number 64, and frankly I think that might be a slightly high estimate. We should be able to get four points out of our matches against them."

ED: "A win and a draw, huh? The win being at home, I expect. All right, fair enough. After the home opener, we go on a three-game road trip. Our first opponent in that stretch will be Vanek Drury Brieres."

RK: "They had a pretty lackluster performance in the Hatchling Cup, and their ranking of 133rd shows it. They might surprise us and put up a fight, but don't count on it. Two wins for Vephrall."

ED: "All right, so you've got us now with ten points from four matches, not bad at all. But surely we're likely to have more trouble against the next opponent, Hatchling Cup host nation Sel Appa."

RK: "Yeah, I'd agree with you on that. They were just one game away from being undefeated in qualifying last time, and made it into the knockout stages with a 1-0 loss to Schiavonia in the second round. They're knocking on the door of the top 20, and they're definitely not going to make it easy for us. I'm gonna be optimistic here and say that we steal a point at home, but the Turtles probably won't have any problems with us in Sel Appa."

ED: "Okay, that brings us to 3-2-1 so far. After Sel Appa, we face quite possibly one of the most difficult to pronounce nations in the tournament."

RK: "Na-la-lose...Nail-ee-loo...Na-lel-oo...you're absolutely right, Ed, I can't pronounce it."

ED: "Well, never mind the name, how do you think we'll do against them?"

RK: "Nonsense, I'm going to figure out how to say it if it takes me the rest of the broadcast. Na-lay-loose-pack..."

ED: "Um. Well, while he's figuring that out, I'll make my own prediction. Put simply, they've just returned fresh after missing out on several consecutive Cups. Add in the fact that they didn't make it into the Hatchling Cup, and I get the feeling only the stadium announcers will fear them. Right, Rirv?"

RK: "-spal-ak-ee-nut-la? No, damn, that's not right either..."

ED: "We come back home after facing the team that Rirv is still trying desperately to figure out how to say, and Kansiov will be the next opponent. They were, frankly, horrid last Cup, getting only two wins in qualifying. I think they'll put up more of a fight than VDB and Rirv's favorite nation..."

RK: "Loose pack in tool-a?"

ED: "...but we should still be able to manage two wins against them. So that brings us to 7-2-1, looking very promising indeed. So of course I now have to throw a pitcher of cold water onto it all by announcing that after Kansiov comes Az-cz. No contest, zero points for us barring a miracle."

RK: "Na-le-loose-palaki...gah, stupid consonants..."

ED: "And finally, we finish it off against the fine doctors of the Landau Institute, representing the nation of Estresse Intenso. They qualified last time, but proceeded to go 0-0-3 in the group stage. My money says they were just extra-determined to show the capitalists in Cafundéu that they could qualify, and without that extra motivation this time around, they won't do quite as well. Vephrall will manage two draws against them, I'd say."

RK: "Naleloospalakintula. Yes, that must be it!"

ED: "So overall it looks like we can expect a record of somewhere around 7-4-3 for Vephrall in qualifying this time, a slight improvement over the 7-2-5 we acheived in World Cup 36. Whether it'll be good enough to qualify, I'm not sure. I'd give us about a 35 percent chance."

RK: "We're done already, Ed?"

ED: "Yep, Rirv, we're done. From all of us here at VTV, good night everyone."

WORLD CUP DRAW ANNOUNCED

Group 11
Ariddia
The Holy Empire
Rejistania
St Samuel
Sorthern Northland
Uiri
Oickoidia
Konora


Today the world cup groups were announced. Uiri has been placed up against Arridia, WC36 winner. This doesn't look good for Uiri altough they have been placed against Oickodia again and Konora mustn't be doing too well to be placed below Oickodia. That's two solid wins right there which may place Uiri...5th at best. Of course Uiri's track record isn't too bad either. When the coach was asked to comment he had this to say:

"I believe that the[ Uir] Geese will be able to get a draw or two placing it 4th or 5th. We may not make it but they won't expect that from us yet. Just you wait, the Geese will definetly make it to the WC proper next time."

Confident words from a confident man. Perhaps too confiedent? The only team which Uiri must redeem itself against now is Tremendekia which they nearly tied. Uiri's only other loss was the opposite of the results of the 3rd place match but against the same team. We have certainly shown that Uiri can play Fotbal.

- FotbalFanatic

After having failed to qualify last WC, it is the firm and ever-present conviction of Head Coach Cha Beomgeun to win this tour. However, as it was during the last tour, the Imperial Team faces ever present challenges, having settled into Group 9:

Demot (12)
Oliverry (19)
Assegai Developments (35)
Daehanjeiguk (54)
Endmile (57)
Limbrogidlia (109)
Wehrmacher (152)
Casari (168)

Seeded fourth in the group, it's going to be difficult to reach the playoff 3rd position, that will push us farther than in our last season. We also have strong teams that are considered usual company in the World Cup - Demot and Oliverry. Of the teams in this group, only Endmile has ever fielded a team against the Imperial Team, and it is quite confident to say that the Imperial has in every circumstance beat them - from the final BoF match in WC36, to the CoH Group Stage. Nonetheless, simply because history has shown our talents, Cha Beomgeun remains wary about every team - "It's a new season, it's a new World Cup Tour. Every team will be trying out new and old tactics, so it's not like every team is going to be a walk in the park. It helps that we have played against Endmile in previous tournaments and that we've prevailed in both instances, but it doesn't mean much on the field until all of the players are out there, because I have no doubt that they'll be switching on us. And we can't afford to concede many points - every match will be critical, and I look forward to making every opportunity count."

Commenting on the players, all of the WC36 veterans have returned for the second try, as Cha Beomgeun has noted their enthusiastic return - "They're all happy, and since they've been through this before, I can expect much more relaxed control on the fields, no matter where or when. Of course, such a traveling schedule will be tough, but they can weather the storm."

Turning to the schedule now:

MD1: HAN --- END (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)
MD2: WEH --- HAN
MD3: OLI --- HAN
MD4: CAS --- HAN
MD5: HAN --- LIM (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju)
MD6: HAN --- DEM (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium, Gwangju
MD7: ASE --- HAN
QFR: AIF --- HAN
MD8: END --- HAN
MD9: HAN --- WEH (@ Sanghae National Football Stadium, Sanghae)
MD10: HAN --- OLI (@ Goguryeo Football Stadium, Pyeongyang)
MD11: HAN --- CAS (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
MD12: LIM --- HAN
MD13: DEM --- HAN
MD14: HAN --- ASE (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong)

As you can see the schedule does favor us where we need it most - our final match will be at home, and our longest stretch of home games is in the second half of qualifiers, leaving our opponents to be more likely tired when they come to the Empire. With the roster now set up and the end of the NFL Season 2 to come, we anticipate the Imperial Team to make its name known once again, this time as veterans and as a superior team - worthy of the chance to compete in the World Cup.


====LEARN OUR LAND====
=당신의 우리땅을 배우십시오=

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has commissioned the Imperial Office of Cultural Affairs to expand knowledge of the Empire by bringing the world small bits of information about the Empire in 15 small installments. Today's installation takes us to the deserts of Shingang, where goat herders are taking care of their flocks today. Shingang Province is one of the Empire's frontier provinces (hence, the name "new frontier"). The province is the only province to have a majority minority population - the Uighurs. They are Turkic peoples who have migrated from Mongolia over the past centuries, having settled in the steppes and plains of Shingang. The Province serves as one of the many crossroads into foreign territories, making it one of the most valuable pieces of territory for the Empire strategically and commercially.

Herding is one of the most profitable enterprises available in Shingang Province. The land is mostly arid and unsuitable for agrarian development. Goats and sheep number among the largest populations in Shingang Province for this reason. These men are getting to go back to Oromokjei - the capital of the province. Although the province is very large, its population is sparse. In fact, the majority of the people are residents of the capital, making it one of the most concentrated urban centers in the Empire.

We talk to the herders:

"Life is pretty hard sometimes. When the rain does not come, we have to feed the flocks just to keep them alive. And especially in droughts, we'll have to feed them grains. But it's better if they eat other things too, because they like to eat a lot. The rain brings life to the hills and the steppes, so we are glad for every rain. Plus, it helps feed the city too. Too many people, too little water. I live outside of the city, but even there, we have to import our water. There's a saying around here: we're building pipes to bring water in, and we're building pipes to pump oil out."

Yes, another highlight of the province's poor resources - oil. The only saving grace, and you can see the work that it has done. Oil is pumped in Shingang in very small amounts, but there is enough economic activity in the province to spur some growth around the industry. Virtually of the money is spent supplying water for the people in the province. One of the oil workers comments about how the industry is revolutionizing the province.

"Two generations ago, my grandparents were goat herders. My parents grew as goat herders, but later turned to the oil industry. Me? I've lived with it for all of my life, but I know that for generations, goats were all that my family cared - and it's a dying way. Few people want stay like that, except the old people. In another three generations, maybe two, herders will have no place here."

The modern aspect of society brushes conflict with the traditional life. The benefits surely weigh somewhat over their predecessors - the province is growing economically, and its vast wealth of riches are continually being tapped. But the characteristic flavor of being the "new frontier" is quickly losing place as people now call this place the "last" frontier".

Home fixtures
Qutar at Taeshan @Atlantea Collesium, Ambrose-Douglas at Taeshan @Taeshan soccer grounds, The lowland clans At Taeshan @ taeshan soccer grounds, The hurd at Taeshan @ X island Stadium, Lovisa at Taeshan @ X Island stadium, Solenial at Taeshan @ Atlantea Collesium, Shiavonia At Taeshan @ Docktown Memorial stadium Games In Order Of Time

Host announcement (I know, logged in to the wrong nation):

Everyone please read THIS (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13047341&postcount=542) post by my cohost. NationStates FootySim's default fixtures were slightly one-sidedly scheduled. Therefore, a revised fixture list will shortly be posted.

Thank you all for your attention and co-operation.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"So... Fr. John... Another World Cup about to start - and this time a World Cup where the Archregimancy hopes to project a more tolerant and loving face to the world. Why, even the anathema on Az-Cz has been lifted. As someone prominent in denouncing heretics in World Cup 36, do you have any personal thoughts on this new direction?"

"I am a sinful worm of a monk wretch, Fr. Nicholas. Unworthy to even lick clean your boots after you have spent a day shovelling manure from the stables of your monastery. Even as the national football team has been brought low from 10th to 20th in the world rankings through their sins of pride and arrogance, so have I been brought low by my intolerance and sinful pride, of which I both now most heartily repent."

"Sounds unequivocal enough. Shall we look at our qualifying group now?"

"Why not, Fr. Nicholas? And this tournament we analyse the group by offering forth a biblical quote for each nation!"

"Errinundera - How can we go past Ezekiel 34:25-28, Fr. John:"
And I will make with them a covenant of peace, and will cause the evil beasts to cease out of the land: and they shall dwell safely in the wilderness, and sleep in the woods.
And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing.
And the tree of the field shall yield her fruit, and the earth shall yield her increase, and they shall be safe in their land and shall know that I [am] the LORD, when I have broken the bands of their yoke, and delivered them out of the hand of those that served themselves of them.
And they shall no more be a prey to the heathen, neither shall the beast of the land devour them; but they shall dwell safely, and none shall make [them] afraid.

"The Archregimancy - Alas how does the sin of pride haunt us, Fr. Nicholas! I am minded of Proverbs 11:2-3..."
[When] pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly [is] wisdom.
The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.

"Quakmybush - I never know what to make of this lot, Fr. John - truly they are mighty underachievers who always seem to get burnt by other teams. Burning... bushes... you can see where this is going - perhaps Exodus 3:2-3 shall inspire them!"
And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush [was] not consumed.
And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt.

"Dance2Revolution - A team that has fallen from once great heights, Fr. Nicholas. When one thinks of dancing and desolation, one inevitably turns to Lamentations 5:15-17:"
The joy of our heart is ceased; our dance is turned into mourning.
The crown is fallen [from] our head: woe unto us, that we have sinned!
For this our heart is faint; for these [things] our eyes are dim.

"Jeru FC - Bold warriors of Jeruselem, Fr. John, but given their lowly ranking, we can't expect them to do any better than an earlier army of Israel, as told in 1 Samuel 4:2:"
And the Philistines put themselves in array against Israel: and when they joined battle, Israel was smitten before the Philistines: and they slew of the army in the field about four thousand men.

"Delesa - A team that's often floating around somewhere, Fr. Nicholas, but never seems to go anywhere. I remember 2 Corinthians 6:9-10..."
As unknown, and [yet] well known; as dying, and, behold, we live; as chastened, and not killed;
As sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and [yet] possessing all things.

"Integrite - So obscure and unknown are this team, Fr. John, that I can't look past Ezekiel 32:7-8:"
And when I shall put thee out, I will cover the heaven, and make the stars thereof dark; I will cover the sun with a cloud, and the moon shall not give her light.
All the bright lights of heaven will I make dark over thee, and set darkness upon thy land, saith the Lord GOD.

"Nebuleux - Not a team I ever expected to be resurrected, Fr. Nicholas. Perhaps Revelations 20:5?"
But the rest of the dead lived not again until the thousand years were finished. This [is] the first resurrection.

"The Fotballsaga goes on my children," the skald continued his tale on the next night. "Our brave Bersërkir were worsted by their foes in the Angripe Avskjedige, but that was but a few battles. The true fight was still to be fought. . . ."

Again, there was a sorting of warriors into groups, accompanied by great ceremony. The Bersërkir would face much more potent enemies in these battles. The first and most fearsome of our foes was Käpitalist SLÄNI. Their King's device flaunted five stars, representing five great victories of Fotball. The skill of their warriors with the Fotball was unmatched by any in the group. Skvärnshelus was another powerful force of fighters. Their red and black banners struck fear into the hearts of their enemies and they attacked fearlessly in battle, like true bersërkir. Kirju-shi were the third in greatness and fought well indeed. They would strike those who overlooked them with great strength and force. The fighters of Svilatja came from a long history of Fotball battles. They were a fair group of warriors, a match for most any group that they would meet. The King over the warriors of Turruth Gordur was named Gorgul the Butcher. These were warriors after the fashion of our own Bersërkir, fearsome fighters who would leave their opponents lying in pools of blood. Gjenvinnøyen were a second group of warriors from the Angripe Avskjedige. They too, had been defeated, and sought to regain their honor in the Verden Koppen. The most amazing of the groups of warriors were the mice, from Musenjord. These mice possesed magical powers of some arcane art to make themselves understood, and to grow to the size of men to do battle with them.

The Bersërkir were unafraid of the mighty foes set before them, and trained for battle in the Golden Hall of Valhalla.

OOC: Yes, I've completely butchered and bastardized all of your nations' names. I did it on purpose, I'm creative. Real life countries spell each others' names differently all the time, so it should be perfectly acceptable for me to introduce Norse versions of your countries' names.

Ty Reed and the rest of the team came in from another hard 3 hour practice and waited for the Coach to come in with an announcement.

"I hope to heck that the Cup starts soon, these practices are killing me." Mumbled someone.

"I don't care one way or the other, I'm just glad to be here." Ty replied, as Jason Fowler came in to the room.

"Allright Chowderheads. This just came in from World Cup HQ. It's our schedule and Draw for the qualifiers. It's not going to be easy, but like I've said before, We're tough enough to take one anyone." Fowler said pulling up a chair.

"Ok first match is against Rastafariburg at home. We'll be playing at Qazian Memorial for that one, so we better not let 98,000+ down. On Day 8 we will travel there, where ever that is.

Second match is at Kelssek. Kelssek is a good team, but they are not as good as us. But don't think they can't jump up their play a bit and beat us. And for the replay we'll play at the Black Hole in Gothika, those 61,000 fans sound like 161,000.

Third match is back home against Candelaria and Marquez. Once again, this team is not as good as we are, but they can upset us if we slack off. We'll play them at Henrí Savagé Stadium in front of 73,000.

Match #4 is at Miamoria, while the replay is at The Black Hole again. To be honest, don't know much about them, but the next opponent we know alot about.

Match 5 will be at Jeruselem. Yes, the team has never beaten them before, but this time, we'll get them. I have my own reasons, but they've knocked us out twice in the World Cup, so that ought to be enough motivation for you all. The replay is at Qazian Memorial Stadium in Qazox city, and both of our games are going to be broadcast world wide, so no screw-ups.

Match #6 is a tough match as well as we have to play Yafor 2 at the SaxerDome, with 85,000 strong rooting us on. Granted as of late they haven't been a good as they have been, but they are still one of the best teams in the world and can beat anybody at anytime. I know we can beat them twice.

The fianl match of each half is against Billopesia. As with Miamoria, Don't know much about them, but we play them in the SaxerDome as well, and weaker teams don't do as well there as we do.

Alright enough chit-chat. We got a long day tommorrow. We're starting off with 10 laps around the stadium, then an hour of set plays. Two hours of group drills and to finsih off, we're running from here at Qazian Memorial to Champions Field and back. No complaints, it's only 14 miles round trip. Ladies and Gentlemen, Have a good night and see you at 7 am tommorrow."

Host announcement (I know, logged in to the wrong nation):

Everyone please read THIS (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13047341&postcount=542) post by my cohost. NationStates FootySim's default fixtures were slightly one-sidedly scheduled. Therefore, a revised fixture list will shortly be posted.

Thank you all for your attention and co-operation.

Fixture list has now been edited.

PRUXTON PRESS

Schedule for Qualifiers Released

MD1: @ Sativaville
MD2: vs. Cookesland
MD3: vs. The Crescent Republic
MD4: vs. Wentland
MD5: @ Bushes Been Quaked
MD6: @ Audioslavia
MD7: @ Elves Security Forces
MD8: vs. Sativaville
MD9: @ Cookesland
MD10: @ The Crescent Republic
MD11: @ Wentland
MD12: vs Bushes Been Quaked
MD13: vs Audioslavia
MD14: vs Elves Security Forces

It's a tough schedule with 6 of 7 matches during the middle of the qualifers on the road. The first match is against fellow Q-Continuum member, Sativaville, so the Prux faithful will have little trouble travelling to the match.

All home matches will be played in the brand new 62,157 seat Prawn Stadium in Pawtucket.

A picture of the stadium:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3c/Rosenaustadion_2006.JPG/800px-Rosenaustadion_2006.JPG

(ooc: Sorry about the size)

Kiryu-shi Football Team Preparing for World Cup Qualifyers, Group Draw Analysis

By Rebecca Doig

Sakaino, Kiryu-shi The Kiryu-shi Football Alliance prepared itself for their fourth attempt to qualify for a World Cup berth following a disappointing showing at the Oriental Cup which followed yet another disappointing effort at the last Cup of Harmony. In Daehanjeiguk, the host of the Oriental Cup, the Kiryu-shi “B” squad limped to an 0-4 record with no goals scored and 12 goals let in under the direction of Hiro Mason, who was promptly demoted upon his return to Kiryu-shi. At the Cup of Harmony, hosted by Kura-Pelland, Kiryu-shi advanced to the final tournament and finished in the top eight, but lost their first round match to eventual tournament winners, Dance 2 Revolution. This marked the second time in three tournaments Kiryu-shi was knocked out of the tournament champion and the third strait time they were defeated by an eventual finalist, as they’d finished second and third in the previous two cups. However, this time around, they are setting their goals higher than another run at the Cup of Harmony. Ranked 34th in the world, the highest ranked team never to have qualified for the World Cup, the KFA believes that the team that they are sending has a good chance to reach a spot in the World Cup proper for the first time in history. Kiryu-shi has been placed in group five in this 37th World Cup, along with several familiar faces as well as a few brand new challenges.

____Kiryu-shi will kick off the qualifying campaign home against Recluse Island, a Baptism of Fire/Hatchling Cup squad currently ranked 104th in the world. They showed some offensive firepower in the group stage, scoring 12 goals over four games, with a goal differential of nine points. However, they were exposed by Prux, the eventual tournament winners, in a six to two blowout in the knockout stages. They still have the capacity to challenge teams with their offense, and defender Nick Vujacic made the all-star squad. They can’t be overlooked; as Kiryu-shi will want to get off to a good start for the tournament.

____Kiryu-shi will move on to play the team organized from Capitalizt SLANI, representing the Unified Capitalizt States, and the second highest ranked team in the world. They’ve finished in third, second and fourth place in the last three world cups, and Kiryu-shi will probably be lucky to steal a single point from them. They hosted the last World Cup, though, so they might be a bit rusty in playing qualifying matches. However, their long history of international success, missing the World Cup proper only twice since World Cup eight, would indicate that they are poised to cruise easily through the group.

____Kiryu-shi will travel to Miceland to play their third match. They will look to take six points from a squad who hasn’t had any international football exposure since before Kiryu-shi even had a team. They were an average team in World Cup 32, finishing in fourth place out of nine in their qualifying group and making it to the second round in the Cup of Harmony, but in the years following, they probably have lost some of their talent. However, because Kiryu-shi knows so little about them, they might present a challenge. Luckily, there will be two games beforehand in which Kiryu-shi scouts can get a better grasp on the abilities of Miceland.

____In the fourth match, Kiryu-shi will visit a team that they have played before, Turruth Gordur. In fact, Kiryu-shi has been in two Cup of Harmonies with Turruth Gordur, CoH 26, where they missed playing each other, and CoH 27, where Kiryu-shi lost to Turruth Gordur three to one in a terrible match which helped reveal the weakness of our strategy during that time. Turruth Gordur would manage to top the group stages before losing in overtime in the knockout stage. Hopefully Kiryu-shi will be able to have a better showing this time around.

____Vikingholm is another Hachling Cup team, who had very mediocre success in their group. They are, however, Vikings, and they could potentially be very physically dangerous. Kiryu-shi will have to play delicately to win and avoid getting hurt against this aggressive squad.

____The only team that Kiryu-shi has played multiple matches against, Squornshelous is a very formidable opponent. In the same group for the second strait cup, Kiryu-shi managed to battle to a two-two draw at Squornshelous in the first game of qualifying. Kiryu-shi does have the potential to beat the 14th ranked team, but it is not likely. Kiryu-shi will be lucky, to again take one point from one of the favorites to move on to the next round.

____The final team that Kiryu-shi will face also has some history with Kiryu-shi. Swilatia, like Turruth Gordur, participated in Cof of Harmonies 26 and 27 alongside Kiryu-shi. They managed a dramatic one-one draw in the group stages of CoH 27, although Swilatia fell just short of reaching the knockout stages in that tournament.

Schedule:
MD1: Kiryu-shi v Recluse Island
MD2: Kiryu-shi v Capitalizt SLANI,
MD3: Miceland v Kiryu-shi
MD4: Turruth Gordur v Kiryu-shi
MD5: Kiryu-shi v Vikingholm
MD6: Squornshelous v Kiryu-shi
MD7: Kiryu-shi v Swilatia
MD8:
MD9: Recluse Island v Kiryu-shi
MD10: Capitalizt SLANI v Kiryu-shi
MD11: Kiryu-shi v Miceland
MD12: Kiryu-shi v Turruth Gordur
MD13: Vikingholm v Kiryu-shi
MD14: Kiryu-shi v Squornshelous
MD15: Swilatia v Kiryu-shi

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Manuit Xingalit: So that's another loss for the Limbrogidlian team. We're going to Mont-Olive, where the team representing us was playing against Oliverry. Hi Kenlit.

*screen splits in two as we see both people speaking*

Kenlit Yingulit: Hi Manuit

Manuit Xingalit: So, Limbrogidlia lost once again?

Kenlit Yingulit: Yeah, with a 1-5 score. The Oliverrian national team dominated us once again at Complexe OTC, in Mont-Olive. If you wish I can summarize that game for you so that our watchers can see the summary of it.

*screen fades to a screen showing the beginning of the game*

Kenlit Yingulit: A full crowd was in Mont-Olive today, as Limbrogidlia played Oliverry in their annual friendly match. So let's skip to the 11th minute. The Limbrogidlian team started the game surprisingly well. James Lexis was able to get around Franck Marceau and shoot, but the shot went wide. An opportunity Oliverry wasn't going to waste. At the 14th minute, Paul Le Roy took a shot from 30 metres and scored the first goal of the game. At the 33rd minute, Le Roy again, this time on a penalty, as teammate Bertrand Lagassé was tripped by Jianlit Perqait. That tackle resulted in a red card and another goal for Oliverry, who was leading 2-0 at Half-time.

Once the game restarted, Sammy Lennon was able to run the field and score on Eugène Bolduc, making the score 2-1. The rest of the half was the affair of the Oliverrians, who scored three goals in 12 minutes at the middle of the second half. So, final score: 5-1.

After the match, I interviewed some Limbrogidlian players about that game. Here's what they answered me:

Yambait Jennings: We played badly. I'm serious there. We could have built up on that 47th minute goal, but we did not and instead, we went back to defence. By doing so, we got scored on three times, which hurt our chances. But eh? That's a friendly, so the real game should be tougher for the Oliverrians.

Bennit Vanit: Well, we had a bad day. That game simply went the Oliverrian side, which scored on most of its chances. That's how they won. We'll need to look how they play and try to adapt.

Sammy Lennon: It was a great goal, eh? Well, except that, we had nothing to celebrate about. The Oliverrians, once again, dominated us badly. Next time, we'll be ready for them, I tell you!

Kenlit Yingulit: So, as you can see, the Limbrogidlian team was hopeful and is now hoping to have a good qualifying phase in the upcoming World Cup. For a general information, Limbrogidlia has been drawn in the same group as Oliverry. That's why the players were speaking of the next time. But in their first game, Limbrogidlia will not play Oliverry, but Assegai Developments, which aren't very bad, to be quite realistic. But we shall see how the Limbrogidlian team does in the first game to be able to base our judgement on that team.

Manuit Xingalit: Thank you Kenlit.

Kenlit Yingulit: It's been a pleasure Manuit.

Manuit Xingalit: Now time for a break. After the break, on Novit Kanlit: (OOC: News Today. OOCed as a reminder, cause I just created the words :p) Prime Minister of South Limbrogidlia, Martin Jacob, announced [...]

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Haneef Aswari: So you can categorically state that no visiting players in this Cup will be used for the Darts' special protein supplement?

Anwar Abdul: Most definitely. I know that many rumours have abounded that Patusan's World Cup 36 team was assisted by players from Jeruselem and Northern Bettia but I challenge anyone to substantiate these claims. In any case, this time we have a new team and new support staff. They have promised to approach things differently.

Haneef Aswari: Yes, but the entire entourage from the last cup were eaten by fire ants. You had to change the team. And it also conveniently removed the evidence.

Anwar Abdul: What are you insinuating? I have nothing more to say on this matter. Cannibalism is not in the picture at all, I assure you.

Haneef Aswari: OK. Looking at World Cup 7. There's some tough competition here, starting with Bettia, ranked sixth in the world.

Anwar Abdul: I think we've bitten off more than we can chew with these guys.

Haneef Aswari: Turori, ranked 25th?

Anwar Abdul: Should be able to get our teeth into them but they could be a bit hard to swallow.

Haneef Aswari: Geisenfried, 39th?

Anwar Abdul: Did you say nicely fried?

Haneef Aswari: No, Geisenfried.

Anwar Abdul: Oh. I'll have to digest that one a bit more and get back to you.

Haneef Aswari: Kura-Pelland, 46th?

Anwar Abdul: They're cheats.

Haneef Aswari: How?

Anwar Abdul: They ensured we weren't invited to the Cup of Harmony so they could leapfrog us in the rankings.

Haneef Aswari: How can you make an unsubstantiated claim like that?

Anwar Abdul: I just did.

Haneef Aswari: Strong words from the Football Association President. What about the Non-RPing n00b, ranked 77th?

Anwar Abdul: We will gobble them up.

Haneef Aswari: The Indonesian States, 133rd?

Anwar Abdul: Our brothers in the faith? We will await God's will.

Haneef Aswari: Zyla, whoever they are?

Anwar Abdul: A tempting morsel just waiting to be put away.

Haneef Aswari: Are you sure the Darts won't be indulging in any sort of cannibalism?

Anwar Abdul: Nothing could be further from our minds.

Haneef Aswari: Well, we're just about at the end of the show. Thanks, Anwar, for your valuable time.

Anwar Abdul: It was good to flesh things out with you.

Haneef Aswari: This is Raidyo Yum PC. I'm Haneef Aswari and you've been listening to "Recipe for Success" brought to you by Bugurri Blow Pipes.com and our guest today has been Anwar Abdul, President of the Patusan Football Association. Tune in tomorrow when we meet an interesting chap who has come up with a non-stick skewer for those special occasions.

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SPORT/FOOTBALL
World Cup 37 preview: The one we've been waiting for

That draw against Ariddia doesn't count towards helping Kelssek's national football team qualify for the finals of the World Cup but that famous match is still a new legend, fresh in the minds of most of the players, and, hopes team manager Gregory Babcock, will be a wellspring of motivation.

"Sport is like that, momentum, emotion and all that, they count. They really matter, and that's why I think good things will be happening for us if we keep up the positivity." he told reporters as the team prepares to depart for their first match.

As in the Coupe de la Francophonie the first match is a stiff test against a storied opponent in their own home ground - this time, it's Jeruselem.

The stars only align so often and it would be a bit much to expect a repeat of that day in Ariddia. But Babcock expects the team to give a good account of themselves.

"The last time we were here we did very well. For some time it even looked like qualification was quite possible," he said, adding a cliche that provoked audible groans from the gathered sportswriters, "It's a game of 90 minutes and the ball is round, after all."

This prompted some of those who habitually cover rugby to gape in surprise and shock as they quickly consulted their copies of The Nationstates World Cup For Witless Dumbasses and discovered they'd been submitting factually incorrect match reports for some time now.

But most important to the team, Babcock thinks, is that the large crowds the team drew as they turned out not to suck last time return to urge the team on.

"We do this for the fans. It's all for the fans," he said, causing several reporters to sustain injuries from excessive eye-rolling.

QUALIFIYING FIXTURES
(note: list is yet to be confirmed)

@ Jeruselem
vs. Qazox (Neorvins)
vs. Yafor 2 (Kirkenes)
vs. Candelaria and Marquez (Outineau)
@ Billopesia
vs. Miamoria (Neorvins)
@ Rastafariburg
vs. Jeruselem (Kirkenes)
@ Qazox
@ Yafor 2
@ Candelaria and Marquez
vs. Billopesia (Outineau)
@ Miamoria
vs. Rastafariburg (Neorvins)

Kate Dallas and her friend Scarlet Ferris were waiting for Hikfie Dallas to turn after arriving back from Bostopia. It has over an hour while the two girls waited for "dopey". To occupy themselves, they played Battleships against each other on their mobile phones.

Scarlet: Bitch, you took out my submarine again!
Kate: Oh yeah, the Princess is Queen of Battleships once again! Oh yeah!
Scarlet: You know me too well there Kate.
Kate: What I can I say, I'm a Dallas girl!

Hikfie: Girls! Girls! Sorry I'm late.
Kate: What was the hold-up there, dopey?
Hikfie: Oh, apparently I was acting suspiciously and they thought I was hiding drugs so I got strip searched.
Kate: And did they find anything?

Hikfie: A packet of jelly beans! Err, yeah.
Kate: Hifkie, did you say you were my relative? If you said that, they would have left you alone. I'm the Crown Princess, no one strip searches my relatives.
Hikfie: Oh yes, I forgot about that!
Kate: Never mind, so! How was the holiday in Bostopia!

Scarlet: Yeah, how is your toy boy Peter Jeffers - the Bostopia keeper. Are you in good hands!
Kate: Yes, that's a Dazza joke that one. Anyway, tell us Hikfie.
Hifkie: I did lots of naughty things with him. You know like your Mum does.
Kate: Where? Where?

Hikfie: Anywhere actually! He's a real man he is. He makes Hikfie a happy girl.
Scarlet: So no problems with you being an older woman?
Hikfie: No problems. He's smarter than me too! Isn't that amazing!

Kate and Scarlet roll their eyes, almost everyone was smarter than Hikfie.

Kate: Good to have you back, but no more fun - it's time to head to training dopey.
Scarlet: Hey, you like scooters? Kate's husband got me a genuine Ferrari scooter.
Kate: I tell you, it's fast for a scooter. Even got the bike here all excited.
Hikfie: Scooters scare me! I fall off them all the time.

Kate: Hikfie, you have the balance of drunk Dazza Dallas under a table.
Hikfie: Oh yes, I fall off bikes too!
Scarlet: Well, no scooter for you Hikfie. I don't it all scratched.
Kate: She's a strange one, she can play 90 minutes of football but can't ride any two wheeled anything.

Hikfie: Who are we playing first?
Kate: Kelssek
Hikfie: Kelpie? I don't want to play dogs ...
Kate: K E L S S E K

Hikfie: Oh them!
Scarlet: How did she get in this team Kate?
Kate: Don't ask me.

Kura-Pelland has drawn its principality of Zyla in the World Cup 37 qualification draw that took place last night, but most eyes are focused on Geisenfried and Turori, the two seeds immediately above Kura-Pelland.

The other potential spoilers in the group are Patusan, still smarting from not gaining a Cup of Harmony invitation and perhaps particularly determined to make their point when they travel to Trilan.

And that's the first match. Here are the odds available on that match and some of the others, courtesy of Kura-Pellandi bookmakers GetLucky:

KURA-PELLAND v PATUSAN
Kura-Pelland evens; Patusan 2/1; draw 3/1

ELVES SECURITY FORCES v AUDIOSLAVIA
Elves Security Forces 1/10; Audioslavia 16/1; draw 7/1

DANCE 2 REVOLUTION v JERU FC
Dance 2 Revolution 10/11; Jeru FC 9/4; draw 3/1

CANDELARIA AND MARQUEZ v BILLOPESHA
Candelaria And Marquez 5/6; Billopesha 7/2; draw 9/4

BETTIA v ZYLA
Bettia 1/25; Zyla 20/1; draw 16/1

COMMERCE HEIGHTS JSY v THE COSHAIRS
Commerce Heights JSY 5/7; The Coshairs 22/7; draw 22/7

Az-cz Scroll
Az-cz
Il-Lur

Official World Cup Predictions

Well it's time for another world cup set of predictions. These are strange time for the Gnomes as they are entering the world of AP (after Pizelkaxrovsky). While they still have plenty of talent losing their one truly otherworldly player and their captain and keeper means that in someways
expectations are tempered. On the other hand Az-czzers are starting to wonder why the team can't break through and take the crown. In almost every other realm Az-czzers are dominant. They've won every baseball crown there is to be had and dominated other sports such as surfing and water polo. Indeed Az-czzers are truly fiercesome competitors. And while the soccer team has been very good, it's yet to become truly great. So that is adding pressure to the squad.

As for my predictions, I seem to have figured out how this thing works, correctly predicting wire to wire the last two champions. So who's going to win it all? You'll have to read on to find out, but I'll tell you now that the five year reign of terror is coming to an end. Now onto the groups.

Group 10

Teams: Az-cz, Sel Appa, Estresse Intenso, Vephrall, British Londinium, Kanisov, Vanek Drury Brieres, Naleloospalakintula

Well our two biggest challengers are teams that we have some history with. Sel Appa we played back in cups 31 & 32 and dominated and Estresse Intenso we beat last cup. Other than that these teams are all new to us. Vephrall definitely looks to lead the charge from the pack. But I think that the top three will find solid separation from Vephrall and the rest. I think it will take us some time to gel allowing Sel Appa to top the group with us in second and the doctors in the playoffs.

Group 9

Team: Demot, Oliverry, Assegai Developments, Daehanjeiguk, Endmile, Limbrogidlia, Wehrmacher, Casari

Demot finds themselves in a group with four impressive looking teams and the former champions from Casari. So they could've asked for an easier group. Still I think they'll once again perform well in qualifying and win the group easily enough. The second spot will land in the hands of Daehanjeiguk and Assegai Developments will pip Oliverry and Casari for the playoff spot.

Group 7

Teams: Zwangzug, Bazalonia, Northern Bettia, Kristovenia, Aurendia, Minilla Island, Vuam & Isma, Central Prestonia

Group 7 is home to our good Bazalonian friends and our baseball compatriots Zwangzug as well as the Gogs from Northern Bettia. Despite Aurendia and Vuam & Isma being former big names, they won't challenge the top three. Don't expect any changes in position from this group.

Group 6

Teams: Bettia, Turori, Geisenfried, Kura-Pelland, Patusan, The Non-RPing n00b, The Indonesian States, Zyla

Group six plays host to a very tantilizing matchup of Bettia and Turori at the top. Long time rivals expect red related madness to be flying around. Former hosts Geisenfried look to recapture the magic that led them to consecutive quarterfinal appearances and Kura-Pelland expects to challenge
for the cup proper. And all the teams, but especially those from The Non-RPing n00b hope not to get eaten by anyone from Patusan. Look for the home of our former coach to miss out on the finals and Turori to be left in the playoffs as Kura-Pelland follows Bettia into the big time.


Group 2

Teams: Elves Security Forces, Wentland, Sativaville, Bushes Been Quaked, Cookesland, Prux, The Crescent Republic, Audioslavia

The Elves have what some might mistake for a tough group, but will actually be a walk in the park. Wentland will easily take the other spot. Sativaville and Bushes Been Quaked are two teams that are looking like they'll never make the finals. Audioslavia's made the finals plenty of times, and in fact made the final finals four times, but me thinks those days are long past. Prux won the BoF which is usually a sign of being headed for bigger or better things and I'll go so far as to guess they pip third, but they certainly won't be challenging the top two, not yet.

Group 1

Teams: Errinundera, The Archregimancy, Quakmybush, Dance2Revolution, Jeru FC, Delesa, Integrite, Nebuleux

Our good friends and former co-hosts Quakmybush in one of the tougher groups going. They've got Errinundera, the defending second place team, the monks who have moved past their bugaboo of stumbling on the way to finals, Dance2Revolution, who might be resurgent after another Cup of Harmony title and a developing Jeru FC. Of no threat to any of those teams is Nebuleux, a former
team of little note who's making a very suprising come back. So who will come out from that group? I don't think good things will happen for the Sharks as I think Jeru FC will pull a huge suprise and splunk third right out from under them while the top two remain the same.

Group 3

Teams: Vilita, Tynelia, Bostopia, Grotewohl, Ulzaxid, Tremarendakia, Barbeques, Boyancy

Not a strong group. To my eyes Vilita is the weakest top seed and Tynelia is one of the weaker seconds. Which to me means that Bostopia will continue their upwards charge and win the group. Tynelia will take second and Vilita will limp into third. Ulzaxid, while always interesting from a scientific perspective, leads an unremarkable group of challenging teams.

Group 5

Teams: Commerce Heights, Squornshelous, Kiryu-shi, Swilatia, Turruth Gordur, Recluse Island, Vikingholm, Miceland

Here we find one of our big sparring partners Squornshelous and a good friend in Miceland place alongside Commerce Heights. Kiryu-shi, Swilatia and Turruth Gordur are all dangerous teams from the lower ranks, which means it will be a painful slog for Recluse Island and Vikingholm, and unfortunately the returning mice. We just can't believe the big two will fall short but we could easily believe any of the other teams in third. We'll guess Kiryu-shi, but it'll be a tight race.

Group 8

Teams: Milchama, Cafundeu, Commerce Heights JSY, Jariss, Rugiero, The Coshairs, New Brittonia, Miroxia

Our whipping boys on the diamond will run away with this group and Cafundeu will be a solid second. Commerce Heights JSY ought to top the rest but I'm not convinced by them or Jariss either. So I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict the Coshairs to take third.

Group 12

Teams: Schiavonia, The Lowland Clans, The HURD, Lovisa, Qutar, Taeshan, Ambrose-Douglas, Solenial

A number of solid teams, with only Schiavonia bordering on great. I expect them to qualify and The Lowland Clans to hold onto second. The HURD have established themselves as a cup quality team but Lovisa and Qutar both have strong histories to draw on. Ambrose-Douglas has good athletes, even if their performance in the Baptism of Fire was rough. But in the end expect the robots to come out on top.

Group 4

Teams: Jeruselem, Qazox, Yafor 2, Candelaria and Marquez, Billopesia, Miamoria, Rastafariburg, Kelssek

No offense to the teams here, but for Az-czzers this is the least interesting group. No AO teams, no friends or rivals, no former champions. The closest it gets are rivals from other sports. Those being Qazox in baseball and Kelssek in Water Polo. Of course Jeruselem will win the group and instead of
interesting coverage of Jeruselem's seemingly interesting history we'll be subjected to the tabloid trash that is Dazza Dallas. And then there's Candelaria and Marquez, who we are not fond of for their beliefs about the superiority of humans. Unfortunately I expect them to be third spot leaping Yafor 2 to slide in behind Qazox.

Group 11

Teams: Ariddia, Alasdair I Frosticus, Rejistania, St Samuel, Sorthern Northland, Uiri, Oickoidia, Konora

This is unquestionably the group of death. Ariddia is clearly the best team in the world with three rings in the past five cups to back that up. And the only active nation with more titles is in the same group in the form of Rejistania. Alasdair I Frosticus is a very talented if unusual team in the second slot and St. Samuel is a very promising nation in the fourth spot. Uiri who put up a pretty good show in the Baptism of Fire will be lucky to move up much with so much fire power at the top. Anyone picking against Ariddia at this point would be nuts, even if they are prone to draws and The
Holy Empire will follow them through. Yet in a suprise I see St. Samuel denying Rejistania for the second consecutive cup to take the playoff spot.

So here are my predictions for the twelve playoff teams:

Estresse Intenso, Assegai Developments, Northern Bettia, Turori, Prux, Jeru FC, Vilita, Kiryu-shi, The Coshairs, The HURD, Candelaria and Marquez, St. Samuel

From those teams I expect the six winners to be Estresse Intenso, Northern Bettia, Turori, Vilita, Kiryu-shi and St. Samuel meaning the 30 teams joining Novapsolu and Adiahn are:

Sel Appa, Az-cz, Demot, Daehanjeiguk, Zwangzug, Bazalonia, Bettia, Kura-Pelland, Elves Security Forces, Wentland, Errinundera, The Archregimancy, Bostopia, Tynelia, Commerce Heights, Squornshelous, Milchama, Cafundeu, Schiavonia, The Lowland Clans, Jeruselm, Qazox, Ariddia, The Holy Empire, Estresse Intenso, Northern Bettia, Turori, Vilita, Kiryu-shi and St. Samuel

From there my picks to make the next round are as follows:

Az-cz, Demot, Zwangzug, Bazalonia, Bettia, Elves Security Forces, Errinundera, The Archregimancy, Bostopia, Commerce Heights, Squornshelous, Milchama, Jeruselm, Ariddia, The Holy Empire and Northern Bettia

Most of those picks are fairly safe, with Bostopia and Northern Bettia being the two strangest. Both could blow up on me, but they're my two shots in the dark. But I think the quarterfinals will be just about the teams everyone expects:

Az-cz, Bettia, Elves Security Forces, Errinundera, The Archregimancy, Commerce Heights, Ariddia and The Holy Empire

Schiavonia and Vilita are the top eight teams not there but neither Alasdair I Frosticus or Archregimancy would be huge shocks to be there. At this point I think we confirm our quarterfinals disease, possibly at the hands of Ariddia again. I think the champs make it through as well as the elves, Commerce Heights and Alasdair I Frosticus.

In the semis I think Ariddia's run will finally come to end, just missing their fourth consecutive final and Alasdair I Frosticus' dream running coming to an end leaving Commerce Heights and the Elves to slug it out. And I think some non-humans get their hands on the cup as the Elves do what we were unable to, winning the title.

It's not a huge gamble to pick the #3 team in the world, but they've never made it to the finals so in that since it's a bit risky. Still I think their time has come. And I'm sure they're all hoping my ESP holds out once again.

News items from the McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge) New Statesman.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/NewStatesmanMasthead.gif

SHY COACH INDUCTED INTO HALL OF FAME

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/witharereducedolder.jpg

In a first for the retiring (in more ways than one) coach of the Potoroos, withare attended a function last night to acknowledge his induction into the World Cup Hall of Fame. It would seem that the only way the Errinundera Football Association could get him to attend was to get his wife to tie him the night before. When mary notified the EFA that she had successfully accomplished the task, invitations were hastily sent out to all and sundry.

Finally accepting there was no escape (and keen to cover his nakedness), withare agreed to address the gathering. His speech was short. “Thank you to the players for making the team’s successes possible, thank you to my kind hosts and thank you to my wife for making this evening possible. The Potoroos are in good hands. I am sure rosaniel will take the team even further.”

withare played as a midfielder with the McKillops Bridge Kingfishers. He declined an invitation to join the privately organised tilt at World Cup 26 and, on retiring as a player, coached his club to three consecutive Premier League titles. When the Errinundera Football Association entered an official team in World Cup 30, he became the automatic selection as coach.

The Potoroos qualified in their second attempt under his tutelage and since then, apart from World Cup 33 when he was recovering from a brain haemorrhage, he has guided the team to each Cup Proper, climaxing in World Cup 36 where the team lost to Ariddia in the final.

withare never gave a press conference, or interview, and rarely made public appearances. Paradoxically he was renowned for his oratory when addressing players. Even more famous was his steely gaze that left generations of footballers quivering in their boots. Despite this he always displayed complete faith in his players, thereby engendering tremendous loyalty.

New coach, the angelic genderqueer rosaniel, gave a testimonial saying, “Without words he could leave us in no doubt when we had let down the team, without words he could inspire us to feats hitherto deemed beyond us, with words he could persuade us anything was possible.”

McKILLOPS BRIDGE READIES ITSELF FOR INVASION

Upwards of a million people are camping along the banks of the Snowy River in preparation for tomorrow’s arrival of Nebuleux for the opening qualifying match of World Cup 37. All the best spots have been taken for 40 kilometres beyond the McKillops Bridge city limits. Mayor of the city, flowf, says that the fans are in good spirits and no trouble is anticipated. “This is a celebration of the beautiful game and the fans are looking forward to cheering on the visitors as they come down by riverboat,” he told us. “It will take about six hours for the boat to sail past the crowds and I can promise the visiting players that it will be an unforgettable experience. Errinundrians treat visiting players as if they were gods, which is funny for a nation of sceptics.”

One fan we met today is young meridor from Tonghi which is about as far away as you can get from McKillops Bridge and still be in Errinundera. The well-travelled eight year old told us that the Nebuleux players were cool. “I pinned pictures of them all over the branches of our tree but they keep getting wet and blowing away. I’m going to see them for real tomorrow. My mobile phone takes great photos so I can get my own pictures.”

TEAM SELECTION FOR THE MATCH AGAINST NEBULEUX

Forwards: scerberu, breretond, avilmou, himmelfar (sub)
Midfielders: agloir (dvc), ipieomenicu, aptai, henyua, catsuku (sub)
Backs: haimaidu (vc), aryayre, ikasa, froesu (sub)
Keeper: onito (c), readnough (sub)

Venue: Liberation Stadium, McKillops Bridge

MD1: Bazalonia vs. Vuam & Isma
MD2: Central Prestonia vs. Bazalonia
MD3: Bazalonia vs. Kristovenia
MD4: Minilla Island vs. Bazalonia
MD5: Zwangzug vs. Bazalonia
MD6: Bazalonia vs. Northern Bettia
MD7: Aurendia vs. Bazalonia
-
MD8: Vuam & Isma vs. Bazalonia
MD9: Bazalonia vs. Central Prestonia
MD10: Kristovenia vs. Bazalonia
MD11: Bazalonia vs. Minilla Island
MD12: Bazalonia vs. Zwangzug
MD13: Northern Bettia vs. Bazalonia
MD14: Bazalonia vs. Aurendia


Here they come three by three, Vuam & Isma
Here they come three by three, Vuam & Isma
Here they come three by three, Going to CBBC
and they'll all go leaving us with 3 points, us with 3 points

There they go along the road, Central Prestonia
There they go along the road, Central Prestonia
There they go along the road and getting charged by our Bazas
and they'll and go running up and away, up and away.

Here they come to the land, Kristovenia
Here they come to the land, Kristovenia
Here they come to the land, With their coaches and their team
and maybe we'll have a good match, a good match.

We don't know and they don't know, Minilla Island
We don't know and they don't know, Minilla Island
We don't know and they don't know, and soon we will soon both now.
and maybe we'll see something of surprise, something of surprise

This will be a game that's hard, Zwang, Zwangzug
This will be a game that's hard, Zwang, Zwangzug
This will be a game that's hard, a great challenge for our team
and we don't know whether it will be a win, it will be a win.

There will be a game with Fire, Northern Bettia
There will be a game with Fire, Northern Bettia
There will be a game with Fire, the Fire ants will be trod down
and they'll all go running back to their home, back to their home.

There we go to their home, Aurendia
There we go to their home, Aurendia
There we go to their home and we'll came back and do our shoes
and they'll what the heck was that, the heck was that.

Kelssek Broadcasting Centre (KBC head offices), Kirkenes

"We need something that shows sour grapes about losing the bid for the Olympic rights. Something that shows how bitter we are and that rubs the World Cup in the face of those NSN turds." enthused the random nameless marketing manager, gesticulating wildly to the alarm of everyone else in the office.

"Does that guy actually work here?" whispered the executive director to his secretary.

"I'm not actually sure, boss."

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/worldcup37ad.jpg

Chloe Dumas was a member of the first ever group of exchange students to Ulzaxid. Even in her open minded home country of Ariddia they had cautioned her against coming. And to be fair what little they knew about Ulzaxid had been fairly accurate. Yet here she was in Ulzaxid and she was glad to be here.

Yes, she felt very odd in the strange silence of the nation. In a way her and all of the other foreigners were deaf in this country. In a nation of telepaths almost all of the vocal communication was directed towards them. The Ulzaxids understood their conversations perfectly yet they weren't privy to any of the exchanges between Ulzaxids. And yes it was lonely at times with so few humans around. And at times it was hard for her to remember that the monkeys she saw in the city were fully sentinet, to say nothing of the ferrets and eagles. And even when she was spoken to there were miscommunications a plenty because while Ulzaxids were perfectly fluent in the languages of the students, they didn't understand things like inflection and pitch and that kind of thing. In a way it was a bit like talking to an autistic person.

However while she did encounter those problems and more she didn't regret for a second her decision. She absolutely adored her "host family". They had made a space for her in what they thought was Ariddian style but then helped her readjust it more to her liking. They gave her fairly free access to the house, even letting her use the dolphin pools. And they accomodated customs of hers that were totally unfamiliar to them, like modesty. And they had shown her many experiences she could never have dreamed of. When her "host father" took her flying, she was both panicked and mesmerized. And the courtesy of the whole nation, not just their host families was amazing. And as a sociology student she was absolutely enthralled by her studies of Ulzaxid society. And she had hit it off with a sweet Oliverrian boy.

But more than all that was her soccer team. Back in Ariddia she was a high level amateur player. She had a great eye for the game, but not the physical traits to really compete in Ariddia. However in Ulzaxid she was the best player in the nation. Because the Ulzaxids never played to their physical advantages she could use her superior skill to dominate. In short time word of her skill spread and she was invited to a meeting with the national team choach. After talking with him she was soon made a special tactical advisor to the team. To this point she's been having a wonderous experience with the team. As strange as it was for both the foreigners and the Ulzaxids when the Ulzaxids were teachers the reverse was even stranger for them to be learning from a foreigner. But it had been incredibly rewarding so far and it would allow her to travel with the team to various countries and interact with them and see how they were treated in foreign nations as well. She was absolutely looking forward to it and quite stoked to be able to visit nations such as Vilita and Bostopia.

OOC: pre-Cup RPs, for reference: 1 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13024600&postcount=9); 2 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13033010&postcount=25); 3 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13040737&postcount=34).

Mélanie Dupré (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/M%C3%A9lanie_Dupr%C3%A9): “…and with the thirty-seventh edition of the World Cup about to begin, we turn to our sports commentator, John Fieldman, outside Darras Olympic Stadium near Rêvane. John, right behind you is where Ariddia’s opening match is going to take place. What can you tell us about that?”

John Fieldman (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/John_Fieldman): “Well, Mélanie, on paper the opening match against Konora should be the easiest of Ariddia’s fourteen games. But as we all know, ‘on paper’ doesn’t always mean much. The Rouge-et-Noirs have never played the Konorans before, but one thing we know is that the visiting team are –quite literally– devoted to football. So we can expect them to play with intensity and determination, even if they don’t match Ariddia in terms of skill and experience.”

Dupré: “Speaking of which. . . Obviously coach Jane Sanderson is hoping for nothing less than to win the World Cup again. Ariddia have been in the final in four of the last five competitions, but have never successfully defended their title from one Cup to the next.And of course many of the star players have now retired. How confident are Comrade Sanderson and the players?”

Fieldman: “Quite confident, I’d say. Enough to take every match seriously, and know they can win if they respect their opponents’ abilities. Now, players like Cassie Lee, Myo Thet Myint and Richard James are gone, but there’s still a lot of talent among the Rouge-et-Noirs.”

Dupré: “Yes, talk us through the team’s strengths and weaknesses.”

Fieldman: “One of the team’s strengths is probably the starting attacking trio. Iol Et is a veteran, and he’s joined by Elmi Hamzah Guirreh and Jamilah Shahrour, who both gave us a glimpse of their abilities as substitutes two years ago. Together, they’re expected to make a formidable trio. Coping with the Et-Guirreh-Shahrour combination should be a major headache for most opponents. Shahrour, incidentally, is still playing for an Ariddian club – Rêvane-Est FC. Professionally, Guirreh plays in Cafundéu, and Et in St Samuel.”

Dupré: “And in defence?”

Fieldman: “Nelson, E’i and Riverain, the starters, are all experienced. Just as importantly, they have experienced backup on the bench, with E’it and Isaacs, plus young defender Naoki Tonnelier, who’s making her World Cup début, but has already been recognised and snapped up by Albrecht FC in Candelaria and Marquez. The only slight concern is in the goalcage. Tu Wesh has played few international matches. As long as the Rouge-et-Noirs had Cassie Lee, Wesh was second keeper, and rarely played. Now he’s thrust into the forefront.”

Dupré: “And is that really a problem?”

Fieldman: “No, I don’t think so. He may be less experienced than some of his team mates, but he’s still the number one goalkeeper of the team ranked number one in the world. And he has experience playing for Atlético Jutense in Cafundéu.”

Dupré: “All right. Now, the schedule for the qualifiers?”

Fieldman: “Well, as you said, the Rouge-et-Noirs’ first match will be on home ground, right behind me here in Darras. As you can see, there are Ariddian and Konoran flags flying already. Then Ariddia’s first away match will be in Rejistania – somewhere in one of the many independent nations of Rejistania. Ariddia’s record against Rejistania is one win and two losses, but of course all that was a long time ago.”

Dupré: “The media in Az-cz have called this the ‘group of death’.”

Fieldman: “They have. It also pits us against the Holy Empire, and a lot of people will be looking forward to those two matches. There’s a lot of history here, and it’s been a long time since the two sides have met. If the Imperials can unsettle the Rouge-et-Noirs, they’ll be well on their way towards going all the way to the final for the first time. They certainly have the determination.”

Dupré: “It’s been reported that an Ariddian is working as tactical adviser for the Ulzaxid team.”

Fieldman: “Yes! That’s right. Chloé Dumas, a sociology student, and very good amateur player. Reportedly she’s having the time of her life over there, and will have many fascinating experiences to talk about when she gets back.”

Dupré: “All right, thank you, John. For all those of you who are watching, PINA will of course be broadcasting the Ariddia-Konora match live. The rest of the news, now. . .”

The eve of the World Cup, and out on a training pitch in a military base somewhere in the sparsely populated central province, everybody's favourite team were busy putting the final touches to their preparations. Iwan Obani, that oh-so-wily character, looked on with his trusty clipboard in hand as attackers and defenders paired off in a one-on-one exercise.

"Come on then Dan, let's see what you can do." he yelled at Dan Shinobu, who now formed the nucleus if Northern Bettia's attack following Ola Hiyashibara's unfortunate cannibal-related mishap in Patusan back in WC36. Dan sprinted at his partner, ball well under control. He began to round his man, and then suddenly launched himself through the air, before landing and rolling on the ground clutching his shin as though it had just been shot repeatedly.

"Arrgh! Referee! Did you see that! Went in with his fuckin' studs, he did! Oh, bloody hell, I think it's broken!!"

Obani applauded his efforts.

"Very good Dan, excellent job. That was rather convincing!"

"Cheers boss!" Dan grinned as he stood back up, none the worse.

Obani then turned his attention to Naru Sonata who, despite being a woman, had aquitted herself rather well in the world of men's football. She jogged towards her training partner and then, with no warning at all, lifted her shirt over her head, revealing a rather expensive (not to mention attractive) bra. She jiggled her way past her dumbstruck team-mate, giving him a cheeky elbow in the ribs for good measure.

"Very nice Naru, VERY nice indeed! Okay Stuey - your turn."

He looked at Stu Kaolla, who was stood still in front of his partner. Suddenly, a voice piped up from behind the manager.

"Oi ref! You're a right blind twat, you are. Get yourself some glasses!"

Startled, he turned around only to find no-one there. Again, the voice made itself heard behind him.

"Who's the bastard, who's the bastard, who's the bastard in the black? Who's the bas-tard in the black?"

Once again he turned around, and once again, there was no-one there. Stu smiled.

"What's up boss? You hearing things?" he joked to his team-mates' amusement.

"Just what the hell's going on here?" the flustered gaffer asked.

"Oh, just a spot of ventriloquism. It's a little something I've been practicing over the summer."

"O-kay... why exactly?"

"Well, I figured if I could learn how to throw my voice, I could use it to get some opposition players sent off for swearing at the ref."

Obani stared at him for a second before bursting into laughter.

"Ventriloquism? Oh, I love it! Imagine that - winning a game by throwing your voice! Talk about taking cheating... sorry, creative tactical play to a whole new level!! Right, new exercise lads - get yourself a wooden dummy from the storeroom and practice! I want to see a convincing ventroliquism act from all of you by the end of the day!"



Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT...............VENUE...RESULT

Qualifying Group 7

01: Minilla Island.........HOME....
02: Zwangzug...............HOME....
03: Central Prestonia......Away....
04: Aurendia...............Away....
05: Vuam & Isma............HOME....
06: Bazalonia..............Away....
07: Kristovenia............HOME....
01: Minilla Island.........Away....
02: Zwangzug...............Away....
03: Central Prestonia......HOME....
04: Aurendia...............HOME....
05: Vuam & Isma............Away....
06: Bazalonia..............HOME....
07: Kristovenia............Away....

Challenging start for Sanadrianese referee

Arianna Ceccoli, the only Sanadrianese participating in the World Cup, will face a major challenge when she makes her début as a World Cup referee. She has been slotted to referee the match between Northern Bettia and Minilla Island, on the former's home ground.

"I've watched several videos of both team's games," Ceccoli says. "I feel ready for this match. Needless to say, I'll be cracking down hard on any player who doesn't respect the rules of fair play. There's no limit to the number of yellow cards I'm allowed to hand out, and if one side ends up playing with five players against eleven, it'll be their own fault. I hope I can make that message clear before the game starts."

And in case there was any ambiguity, she added: "I've seen replays of the Fire Ants' tactics. Those aren't the kind of tactics I intend to tolerate."

Ceccoli is staying at a hotel in Northern Bettia (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Northern_Bettia). Reportedly, she attempted to attend the Fire Ants' training sessions, but was thwarted when she found out they are held within a military base.

In the meantime, she is making the most of any free time to be a tourist.

"As far as I know, I'm the first Sanadrianese ever to visit Northern Bettia. I'm taking lots of photos, and I'll share my experiences with the village (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/San_Adriano) when I get home."


OOC: Ceccoli will probably be "prejudiced" against the Fire Ants, and won't be sending off any of Minilla Island's players unless she absolutely has to. If that's ok with you, Bettia. I'm going by the permissions (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13043303&postcount=47) you give in your roster post.

OOC: Ceccoli will probably be "prejudiced" against the Fire Ants, and won't be sending off any of Minilla Island's players unless she absolutely has to. If that's ok with you, Bettia. I'm going by the permissions (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13043303&postcount=47) you give in your roster post.
OOC:
Ooh, there'll be riots! Should be a laugh.

With the World Cup fast approaching, the whole of Bettia was all of a buzz. After seeing the Aroras lose their crown in a rather dismal fashion, they were eagerly waiting to see just how their new-look team would fare against what the world had to throw at them. First up was the regular friendly at Az-cz, and as usual sports cafés, stadiums, village greens, town squares, indeed anywhere that had anything vaguely resembling a big screen - all were packed out with fans decked out in the traditional green and gold of Bettia.

But not all of these screens were showing the big match...

*click*Some say she comes from a planet made entirely out of breasts. All we know is that she is called... Dazza Dallas."
*click*Touchdooowwn Volcanos!"
*click*"Of course, the secret to good compost is plenty o' horse crap, or cow crap if you 'ave no 'orses 'andy..."
*click*"...but if Lord Twatface gets his hands on the mystical Crystal of Zog, the whole universe will collapse..."
"Oh, that's enough!" Junilun snapped as she tried to snatch the remote from her little sister's hands. "Give me that! Don't make me blast you!"

"Why should I?"

"Cos everyone here wants to watch the football."

Fatarani looked around - indeed, all of the Pie & Pixie's customers were glaring at her rather impatiently, some of them tapping their fingers on the table in front of them.

"But.. why? Bettia are losing." she said as she flicked the channel over to Sonastra Sports. "See? Az-cz two, Bettia nil! I don't wanna see Bettia lose. I wanna watch something more interesting."

"But Fatarani, I would've thought you'd want to watch as much football as you can." said Fat Evan. "You know, what with you managing Pifton Rovers. You might get some good tactical ideas from watching the teams."

"Oh, that! I don't need any new tactics." Fatarani said proudly. "I already have the perfect tactic. It's a perfectly perfect tactic that works perfectly. After all, we won a pre-season friendly 10-0 yesterday, didn't we?"

"Why, yes you did. It was good to see the Rovers playing so well, even if it was against an amateur over-50s team. So anyway... what's this 'perfect tactic' of yours then?"

"Oh, just my own unique way of motivating the players. It can't fail."

"And this motiviation is...?"

"Oooh, I can't tell you that - it's my secret!" Fatarani replied, tapping her little button nose knowingly.

Just at that moment, the door to the café opened and in stepped a young, ahtletic-looking man in his mid-twenties carrying a bouquet of the finest red roses. He quickly scoped the customers before spotting Junilun, and he confidently strode towards her, handing her the bouquet.

"Miss Junilun - these are for you."

"Really? And what am I supposed to do with these? Eat them?" she replied rather coldly.

"No. They're a symbol of our engagement."

Junilun's eyebrows shot up so far, it looked as though they would fly off her face at any time.

"Our... engagement?!"

"Why yes," he answered before turning quickly to Fatarani. "Alright boss?"

"Alright Kev." she said wavely. "You know Kev, dontcha sis?"

Junilun shook her head.

"Kev. Kevin Parker. He's Pifton Rovers' star striker, and... ahem... your new fiancé."

"My fiancé?" she said slowly and deliberately. Even though most of her face was hidden behind her usual veil, it was obvious to everyone she was fuming. "My... FIANCÉ?!"

"Please... don't be mad sis. It's just that..."

"IT'S JUST WHAT?!"

"It's just that... I kinda promised the lads that if they scored a hat-trick against the over-50s, they could... take your hand in marriage?"

Fatarani looked nervously at her older sister, who just stood there glaring at her, opening and clenching her fists, quietly growling like a mightily pissed-off lioness.

"Please sis, don't be angry. I think you two would be very happy together!"

"Happy together?! He's a fourth division footballer and I'm a 650-year-old Ifrit! It'd never work!"

Fatarani looked at her with big puppy-dog eyes.

"Are you sure? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"No!"

Fatarani sighed. "Sorry Kev, looks like the wedding's off."

"Oh... okay. I'd better go." he said as he started to walk out of the door, before being stopped by Junilun.

"This ain't your fault. Just sit yourself down and I'll get you a cup of tea." she said soothingly, before glaring angrily once again at her little sister. "And you! Don't you EVER try anything like that again!"

Fatarani gulped, and watched Juni walk into the kitchen before quietly pulling out her mobile phone and dialling the number of Pifton Rovers football club.

"Hello? Oh hi Jill, it's me, Fatarani! Listen... I, um... I think we'd better un-book that hotel room..."



Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT................VENUE...RESULT

Friendly

FR: Az-cz...................Away.......L 0-2

Qualifying Group 6

01: Zyla....................HOME.......
02: Geisenfried.............Away.......
03: Patusan.................HOME.......
04: The Indonesian States...Away.......
05: Turori..................HOME.......
06: Kura-Pelland............Away.......
07: The Non-RPing n00B......HOME.......
08: Zyla....................Away.......
09: Geisenfried.............HOME.......
10: Patusan.................Away.......
11: The Indonesian States...HOME.......
12: Turori..................Away.......
13: Kura-Pelland............HOME.......
14: The Non-RPing n00B......Away.......

The following is part of a transcript of the Imperial Yaforite News Service

Rbatrik Kuernos: Hello, and welcome to this special report of the Imperial Yaforite News Service. I'm Rbatrik Kuernos, and I thank you for joining us.

It has been scarcely a month since the Grand Democratic Duchy began cracking down on the international group known as the "Yaforite mafia", but already their campaign is beginning to show results - though these results might not be what the public expected when they pressured their politicians to pass this bill. This group, whoever they are, are much wider spread than anyone expected - according to the latest police reports, they have struck deep into the heart of the Yaforite sporting culture, with their recruitment, at least. Whether or not they have done more to influence matches or other related things is not known.

According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, Idurv Odakale, the well-known Yaforite striker, who plays for expected LIDYT champions Chelmar FC, has been "deeply involved with the Yaforite mafia for over three years". While he has been scoring goals to take Yafor 2 to qualification for World Cups, like World Cups 30 and 33, in both of which he played he huge part, he has been, apparently, working closely with the "Yaforite mafia", though the ways that he had been doing this are not yet clear. From Uharan, Jyolt Kiyatar reports. Hello, Jyolt, what's the situation like in Uharan?

Jyolt Kiyatar: Insane. That's the only real word to describe the situation here. It's cold, in Uharan, for this time and year, and yet reporters crowd the center of the city, everywhere near the Worker's Hall. Every time a policeman walks past, even a policeman from a completely different part of the city, the reporters scramble, cameras flash, and the air is full of all sorts of questions. This is really a madhouse. Whoever coined the term "media circus" must have certainly had this scene in his mind, or else something close to this scene.

Rbatrik Kuernos: The very latest reports say that Odakale himself recently passed through there after being arrested in his home in northern Uharan. Is that true? There are also rumors that his lawyers released a statement regarding his future? Is there any truth to these rumors?

Jyolt Kiyatar: Yes, Rbatrik, that is true. About a quarter of an hour ago, Idurv Odakale came through here. His hands were cuffed behind his back and he was flanked by two burly police officers. His face was neither repentant nor angry nor looking forlorn, or any other emotion. Instead, he bore that look that has gained him so many followers, that look of silent resilience that was a mainstay for successful Yaforite campaigns in World Cups like 30 and 33. It is a look that will forever be his signature look, though whether on the field or in chains remains to be seen.

As to your other question, well, yes, his lawyer, one Landrian Dimoral, did issue a statement regarding his future. "Idurv is looking to cooperate with the police on all fronts." These were his exact words. He finished by saying "I hope that this can be sorted out as soon as possible." There was no denial of any sort and many in the press are taking this to mean that, perhaps, the charges against Idurv Odakale are true. Whether or not they are, or whether he even has the right to speak about his case is not known by anyone here, and perhaps only by those inside the building behind me.

Rbatrik Kuernos: What about his playing career? As far as is known, the Imperial Yaforite Football/Soccer Association has cut him off the roster for World Cup 37 and even temporarily banned him from playing with his LIDYT club, expected champions Chelmar FC. What will this do to his future, which is looking bleaker and bleaker as we talk?

Jyolt Kiyatar: Bleaker and bleaker is an excellent way to put it, Rbatrik. What we are really experiencing here is the breakdown of any future dreams that Idurv Odakale may hold regarding ever playing football/soccer again. Whatever the verdict, his public image has been tarnished enough that he will have to completely re-invent himself - something a little bit of charity work and a few months of punishment will not be able to fix. Idurv Odakale will have to change the international perception of him, especially when regarding the fact that these are "mafia" ties, not some little thing.

It's also certainly a blow to Chelmar FC. Chelmar certainly have been hoping to take a title away this year, and they were counting a great deal on Idurv Odakale to put a lot of goals away into the back of the net this year. That, almost certainly, will not happen, and that means that Chelmar are, rather obviously, staring directly at a future where their attack is heavily blunted and huge competitor Cardorel FC may just have the edge in the title chase this year. Nobody really knows for sure, but this police investigation may just change the entire picture of the LIDYT for a long time.

As for the national team? They've already replaced Idurv Odakale with Kimiran Yahakov, who played with the national team with World Cups 27, 30, 32, and 33. He's good, but he's not as good as Idurv Odakale.

Rbatrik Kuernos: Thanks, Jyolt. That's it for this special report, with the IYNS. From me, Rbatrik Kuernos, thank you for watching. Have a good night.

Welcome to This Week in Football


Hello, everybody. This is Jim Allen. Well, we finally know who the Island Warriors will be playing. The boys are seeded sixth in their eight-team grouping. The boys have a rough road ahead for them as World Cup Final Four member, Zwangzug, is the favorite to take the group. However, Manager Ray Palen is optimistic that the Island Warriors could very well make the World Cup Finals. Here is the schedule for the boys:

MD1: RMI @ N. Bettia
MD2: RMI vs. Aurendia @ King Salvatore National Stadium, Minya, 1930 K/O
MD3: RMI vs. Vuam and Isma @ Dr. Sockie Stadium, Godzilla, 1930 K/O
MD4: RMI vs. Bazalonia @ Petrox Park, Dorchester, 1930 K/O
MD5: RMI @ Kristovenia
MD6: RMI @ Central Prestonia
MD7: RMI @ Zwangzug
MD8: RMI vs N. Bettia, Seaside Stadium, Richmond, 1930 K/O
MD9: RMI @ Aurendia
MD10: RMI @ Vuam and Isma
MD11: RMI @ Bazalonia
MD12: RMI vs. Kristovenia @ Dr. Sockie Stadium, Godzilla, 1930 K/O
MD13: RMI vs. C. Prestonia @ Impact Energy Stadium, Gamera, 1930 K/O
MD14: RMI vs Zwangzug @ King Salvatore National Stadium, Minya, 1930 K/O

Well, for our friends in other lands who will be joining us, here are a little synopsis of the stadia:

King Salvatore National Stadium: This Stadium was built in 1953. Originally known as the Hippodrome, and still referred to is as such by Minyaites, it has the best sightlines in all of sport. It was built so those in the least expensive seat will have just as good a view as those who sit up front. The PA system was upgraded in 1996, where you can now hear the radio broadcast while you are waiting for the delicious food. The bathrooms are spacious, with attendants to help with little things. Oh, BTW, ladies, all Minilla Island public restrooms are unisex. So, is the story here.

Petrox Park: Minilla Island National Keeper, Greg Sinise, "This is the only place I have ever played in where you need earplugs. The Word "loud" is an understatement." Petrox Park is the loudest stadium in all the land. The acoustics bounce off the walls of this place to create a pounding atmosphere. Near Dorchester's City Center, this stadium has long been the centerpiece of Dorchester's outdoor sporting world. Built in 1974 by the Petrox Corporation for its club, Dorchester United, this has long been an unwelcome spot for opposing clubs. People are close in, and you can feel people on top of you. Hungry? Petrox Park has some of the most innovative food service operations anywhere. Each seat has a touch pad. You swipe your bancard, order, and the screen will flash when your order is ready to be picked up. No missing that winning goal!

More later.

Elven Times
Check Your Mirrors

It's two weeks until those qualifiers for the World Cup begin again, and it's more of the same for the Marauders. This is the third Cup in a row that they have been ranked in the top ten nations of the world, sitting at the nice third spot, and for the second tournament in the row, one of the early favorites to take the entire competition. Now Constant faces the same challange as Soler had the tournament before he left, make the finals, in addition to being charged to win them, or find another job at Cup's end. Despite the challange, and falling to the upstart Errinundera squad last tournament, Constant refused to change his starters or even formation. Now if the squad wouldn't of been the victim of a complete upset as it was, and had fallen to an "elite" nation as SLANI or Schiavonia, it would be one thing, but when your best players fail like that, some sort of change is needed. Granted a number of reserves were changed, but that alone is not enough to make sure that this squad performs up to the high expectactions that foriegn and domestic media and fans have put on them.

Following the conclusion of the draw, it looks to be a favorable draw, and one where the Marauders may have another unblemished record going into the Proper. Only the defensive powerhouse of Wentland looks dangerous enough to steal some points off the navy and black, and that would likely come from a low scoring draw, prolly nil nil or one one. After that, things can get abit hectic, as there are some names familar to the Valanorians, but not anything worth fretting over. In fact, with Audioslavia back in the world competiton, the first nation that the Marauders faced in international play, losing both times, there is abit of revenge factor in the minds of the squad for this tournament. For it was also the Wentland squad who knocked them out in WC33, keeping them from making a semifinal and possible finals appearance a tournament earlier. Sativaville, who performed quite well in the BoF of World Cup 29 that the Marauders choose not to participate in due to lack of preparation time, is one of those mid-tier teams that look never to get past that stage, along with Bushes Been Quaked. Sativaville will be taught thoroughly who the class of '29 are while Bushes will hope that some divine force intervenes and saves them from a possible two embarassing scorelines. The Crescent Republic should be an easy six for all parties involved, and will need some sort of luck to not be the worst team in the entire tournament.

Then we have Prux. They seem to be the sympathetic favorites of many Valanorians as they won the BoF and have all the tools to eventually become a power to be reckoned with. With as weak as this group is, they very well could have their time be thrust upon them now, with a shot at the playoff spot being a very achievable goal. Granted they will likely take thier lumps from us and Wentland, but the rest of this group could be chewed up by their emerging talent. If their form remains from the Baptism of Fire, then I would not be surprised at all to see them finish third in the group, ahead of the junkies of Sativaville. Yet, their is always the expierence factor, and they just don't have enough of it yet, but this will be side a watch for tournaments to come.

So it should be a fairly easy breeze through the qualifiers for the Marauders, with their hardest tests coming via their friendlies. Az-cz and Bettia will bring their shows to the Hatire Memorial in the mid-qualifying break, and the Crusaders of Jeruselem will come after qualifying is finished, but the play offs for the last spots into the tournament proper. With the weak group they have, it will be these friendlies that will prepare the squad for the Proper more so than qualifiers, espicially the rematch against the high octane offence that is Bettia. Let us hope the foresight of the EFA to schedule these friendlies holds true, and we make our way into our first Final and hopefully our first title.

Predictions
Elves Security Forces
Wentland
Sativaville
Prux
Bushes Been Quaked
Cookesland
Audioslavia
The Crescent Republic

Schedule
MD1: ESF v Audioslavia
MD2: Sativaville v ESF
MD3: ESF v Cookesland
MD4: The Crescent Republic v ESF
MD5: ESF v Wentland
MD6: Bushes Been Quaked v ESF
MD7: ESF v Prux
MQF: ESF v Az-cz
MQF: ESF v Bettia
MD8: Audioslavia v ESF
MD9: ESF v Sativaville
MD10: Cookesland v ESF
MD11: ESF v The Crescent Republic
MD12: Wentland v ESF
MD13: ESF v Bushes Been Quaked
MD14: Prux v ESF
PQF: ESF v Jeruselem

Article by Luna Santapa

Official Venues Report

(MD01) Sel Appa vs. Vanek Drury Brieres -- Anila City Stadium (Anila City)
(Capacity: 80,000)

(MD03) Sel Appa vs. Vephrall -- Roflcoptre Dome (Roflton)
(Capacity: )

(MD06) Sel Appa vs. Estresse Intenso -- Merrack Field
(Capacity: 40,000)

(MD09) Sel Appa vs. Naleloospalakintula -- Grand Archduke Kirby I (Anila City)
(Capacity: 64,000)

(MD11) Sel Appa vs. Kanisov -- Real Field (Fizroe)
(Capacity: 72,000)

(MD12) Sel Appa vs. Az-cz -- Turtle Stadium (Nemnenait)
(Capacity: 128,000)

(MD14) Sel Appa vs. British Londinium -- NativeZone (Natives Province)
(Capacity: 32,000)

After the two disasters with our vehement nationalist and a sickly purple dragon, MBC International has announced the next reporter to cover Imperial matches overseas - in fact, a brace of reporters:

http://www.korea-is-one.org/IMG/Lee_Hyolee_Cho_Myong_Ae.jpg

Jo Myeongae (趙明愛|조명애) and Yi Hyori (李孝利|이효리) .

The duo are classically trained artists, singers, and dancers; they also share a great passion for football, and have volunteered to help popularize the already popular sport in the Empire. IFA Chairman Count Jeong Mongjun remarked - "They (Jo and Yi) will complement the Imperial Team fantastically, and I am certain that MBC International officials will be cautious to avoid such incidents as what occurred during the Cup of Harmony. It is in all of our mutual interest to avoid such incidents, and in fact to forget them as soon as possible." The announcement comes amid some controversy over the Imperial Family's own announcements that the Crown Prince was denied the opportunity, owing to his "official duties and tasks." IFA officials had nothing to remark over the situation.

Both Jo Myeongae and Yi Hyori were ecstatic about their selection to host the broadcasts:

"I think we're both really happy to be here. And we understand that a lot of our fans may not like the move, but Jo and I both believe that if you feel passionately about something, you should pursue it with all of your heart. Some people try to save the world; well, we're not as noble, but we want to bring football to the world."

Jo Myeongae also offered her thoughts: "We're glad that the IFA and MBC officials have put their confidence in us. We have a lot of talent to offer, and we're both very knowledgeable about football. There's no doubt we can bring you inside stories about the players and the training, and there's always something to talk about. We can make things exciting and engaging!"

Both Jo Myeongae and Yi Hyori will be making their first televised broadcast for the first Qualifier match against Endmile. Cha Beomgeun has also released the line-up for the first match.

Kim Ho

Kim Chigon Pak Geonha Choi Jincheol

Go Jongsu Yi Eulyong Song Jongguk Heo Jeongmu

Seo Jeongweon

Kim Eunjung Kim Daeeui

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/juvanya/thecabbage.png

World Cup 37 Predictions


Usually various sports news outlets give out some sort of prediction of who will do good in the World Cup. So we here at the Cabbage have decided to make some of our own predictions. We guarantee the accuracy of these predictions to the letter. (Not that such a respectable nows outlet such as this fine newspaper could ever possibly be incorrect.)

Az-cz -- No one has yet been able to figure out exactly how to pronounce this, but their team is absolutely horrid. They will most likely end up in last place.
Sel Appa -- Some name that seems vaguely familiar, but we expect them to not do to well this Cup.
Estresse Intenso -- Isn't this the coffee we had at breakfast?
Vephrall -- Sounds like a video game, but I doubt that will help them do good. Or maybe some kind of black market beer...
British Londinium -- They think they're all cool claiming to be British AND Roman...
Kanisov -- Some Russian Communist spy team or sometihng that will probbaly do pretty good.
Vanek Drury Brieres -- What the hell?
Naleloospalakintula -- This team will definitely win not only the group, but the Cup itself. Their name's unpronouncability does make us thankful for copy and paste.

The Crimson Blade
Assegai Developments Prepares for Limbrogidlia

Missing out on the last Nation States World Cup not only cost former Assegai Developments National Team manager Zacharius his job, it led to a predominant feeling of uneasiness that permeated all of Assegai.

New team manager the Decepticon known as Blackout believes his team has what it takes to pick up where it left off and continue rising to the top of Nation States football. “If we don’t make it to the Proper this time around, it won’t be due to lack of desire and preparation,” he said in a press conference held the day before the team opens up qualifying. “The rosters have been shaken up a bit and the result is a squad composed of unshakable leaders and willing young starlets. We’re not going to destroy our opponents, but we my squad will fight tooth and nail from whistle to whistle.”

Assegai’s first opponent is Limbrogidlia, a team that has expressed their eagerness to face any opponent and that will be paying their first visit to Cathedral Park.

“We know very little about Limbrogidlia,” Blackout admitted. “However, it’s the same for them; they know nothing of us. Nonetheless, I have prepared my team to push the attack tonight. Anything else but a win in front of our supporters will be deemed a failure.”

For the match against Limbrogidlia, Blackout has announced the following roster:

Formation: 4-3-3
Bias: + 1

Goaltender
#42 Akihiko Yoshida – (Rinaldi Gunners, Elves Security Forces)

Defenders
#4 Francis Rowe – (Sutina Saints, Fort Europe)
#70 Barnard Mallowburne – (S.C. Vagrant Hills)
#2 A.J. Durai – (A.C. Leá Monde)
#25 Stephen Maison – (Valendia F.C.)

Midfielders
#30 Joanna London – (F.C. Cross Wind)
#10 Ashley Riot (C) – (Rinaldi Gunners, Elves Security Forces)
#69 Fleur Delacour – (Valendia F.C.)

Forwards
#11 Raff Savage – (Square Haven F.C.)
#33 Viktor Krum – (Valendia F.C.)
#20 Samantha Neesa – (Char Sara Inferno, Elves Security Forces)

Reserves
Goaltenders
#0 Edward van de Beauchamp – (A.C. Leá Monde)
#1 Amphelice Morley – (Square Haven F.C.)

Defenders
#33 Giles Fitzwillyam – (Timorlug Wargs, Turruth Gordur)
#3 William Downer – (F.C. Cross Wind)
#79 Elizabeth Cary – (Square Haven F.C.)
#21 Gilda Rampston – (Square Haven F.C.)
#35 Anne Saye – (Fort Lakaria City, Fort Europe)

Midfielders
#31 Alys Spicer – (Valendia F.C.)
#6 Nichol de Malyns – (F.C. Ronkûrz Gropor Graves, Turruth Gordur)
#32 Agatha Denys – (Gladerial Twilight, Elves Security Forces)
#45 Duane Grissom – (Kibuye F.C., The Interahamwe)

Forwards
#19 Ursula Goode – (Cathedral Spooks D.C.)
#5 Severus Snape – (F.C. Capri, Elves Security Forces)
#9 Esmour Smyth – (Karndrâgh F.C., Turruth Gordur)
#18 Philip Adamson (Square Haven F.C.)

Tonight’s Match
[33] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.png Assegai Developments

VS
[UK] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/limbrogidlia.png Limbrogidlia

Venue: Cathedral Park (Capacity: 75,000) | Leá Monde, Assegai Developments

Mikaela Eyre Reporting

GLOBO MULTIMEDIA PRESENTS
THE PRE-WORLD CUP DISCUSSION

Presented by Breno Gavião

ÉBER MOURÃO (another presenter) - And finally, Cafundéu's media returns to work properly. You all know about the incident which happened some time ago. The explosion of the Globo Multimedia headquarters. It was a terrorist attack, and the terrorists did a good job. The police still didn't find them, but they're working on it. Luckily, the bombs were exploded at midnight, so no one was working at the building. But the amount of information and machines lost in the explosion was huge, and because of that Cafundéu's media couldn't communicate with the other parts of the world for some time. But, as I said earlier, everything is all right now, and now we can start the pre-cup discussions, with Breno Gavião and his special guest, the coach of the National Team, Franz Braddock!"

BRENO GAVIÃO - "Thanks for the info, my frrrrriend. Now, let's go to what rrrrreally matterrrrrs: the Worrrrrld Cup! After hosting the last edition of the cup and rrrrreaching the quarterrrrrfinals, the team now seems strrrrrong and rrrrready to show another good perrrrrforrrrrmance. But this time, the team needs to play in the qualifierrrrrs in order to go to the Worrrrrld Cup. And one of the main rrrrresponsible for the success of Cafundéu is here with me, the coach of the team in Worrrrrld Cup thirrrrrty-two, Franz Brrrrraddock!!! Welcome, coach."

FRANZ BRADDOCK - "Thanks for the invitation, Breno. I love to appear in your programs. It's a great pleasure to return to the National Team after so many World Cups, it makes me believe that I did a good job when I coached the National Team during World Cup thirty-two..."

BRENO - "Of courrrrrse you did! You qualified us in our firrrrrst attempt!"

BRADDOCK - (happy with the praise) "Thanks, Breno, thanks. I hope to do another good cup for the National Team, and maybe stay in the job for World Cup thirty-eight."

BRENO - "This rrrrraises an interrrrresting issue... it's difficult for a coach of the National Team to stay in the job, even after a good campaign."

BRADDOCK - "Yes, but I don't want to comment about it right now."

BRENO - "Okay... so, let's see our grrrrroup?"

BRADDOCK - "Of course, let's go."

(the group appears on a screen)

Group 8
Milchama
Cafundéu
Commerce Heights JSY
Jariss
Rugiero
The Coshairs
New Brittonia
Miroxia

BRENO - "Hmm, I loved this grrrrroup! It seems easy, at least for me. Milchama is clearrrrrly a dangerrrrrous team, and might get the firrrrrst place, but we arrrrre not so far away frrrrrom them. We have a good team. Commerce Heights JSY qualified in the last cup, but we should play well against them and get four points or more, the same happens with Jarrrrriss. I don't know much about the other teams, so we may defeat them too. It shouldn't be difficult to qualify this time, we had difficult qualifying campaigns, the easiest one was in Worrrrrld Cup thirrrrrty-two..."

BRADDOCK - "Stay calm, Breno. We need to be cautious. Although I agree with you that this group seems easier than some of the other ones, everything can happen. As you said, Commerce Heights JSY qualified in World Cup thirty-six, and Jariss is a good defensive team, and we can have problems against them. But I must say that I'm satisfied with the draw and I hope that the team plays well to guarantee the qualification."

BRENO - "Is it possible to finish in the firrrrrst place?"

BRADDOCK - "There is a possibility for everything. It's difficult, but it's possible. But I'm more worried with the qualification, of course."

BRENO - "Have you decided a team for the firrrrrst game?"

BRADDOCK - "Yes, surely. I'll put a team with full strength. Lauro, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza. In the midfield, Anormal, Rato and Dário. And the three attackers are Heitor, Flecha and Tales."

BRENO - "So, now let's see the team schedule, with the host stadiums in Cafundéu:"

MD01 - Cafundéu x New Brittonia
MD02 - Miroxia x Cafundéu
MD03 - Cafundéu x Jariss
MD04 - The Coshairs x Cafundéu
MD05 - Milchama x Cafundéu
MD06 - Cafundéu x Commerce Heights JSY
MD07 - Rugiero x Cafundéu
MD08 - New Brittonia x Cafundéu
MD09 - Cafundéu x Miroxia
MD10 - Jariss x Cafundéu
MD11 - Cafundéu x The Coshairs
MD12 - Cafundéu x Milchama
MD13 - Commerce Heights JSY x Cafundéu
MD14 - Cafundéu x Rugiero

Stadiums:

MD01 - Praça Maior, in Cafundó do Juta (cap. 180,000)
MD03 - Toca do Tatu, in Central City (cap. 80,000)
MD06 - Maracatuzão, in Dunboor (cap. 120,000)
MD09 - Presídio, in Carandirú City (cap. 75,000)
MD11 - Olímpico Imperial, in Lux (cap. 80,000)
MD12 - Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft (cap. 200,000)
MD14 - Arena América, in Abadai (cap. 100,000)

http://img470.imageshack.us/img470/8564/jgnlogohe2.png

Royalty and World Cup 37!

What's this? Royalty? Yes, royalty. Whole football players maybe come from a the peasants and not the high brow - this cup will have a bit of royal flavour to it. First, we have Cassie Lee of Ariddia! She is of royal descent but has no crown to inherit though. Yes, she maybe like 141st down the line but she's a Princess in every other way. Ariddia being the socialist state, there's no crown but if you wanted a Princess for Ariddia - Cassie Lee is your girl I say.

Closer to home, we have Crown Princess Katherine Alexandra Dallas. Sounds like the Tsaress of some nation but we know who it is - our own Kate Dallas. Oddly, also descended from Ariddia too - from her mother (we know who her mother is, no need to tell you folks). Kate isn't a normal kind of Princess though. A Princess is normally quite graceful type but we've got a sassy sexy bikey one here. She too has the touch with common people like Cassie Lee.

Yes, the World Cup is not just for the peasants. While Kate Dallas may not be the first Princess to play World Cup games, I don't think she'll be the last either.

Wayne Wastle
JGN Sports Writer

Dear Nations of the World Cup,

I am Harthgate the Enlightened, son of Ironhand the Smithy who built the gate into the Grey Havens, have been thrust upon this realm to bring back the mantle of intelegence to the decaying society. The higher gods have deemed it that to best carry out my mission, I am to be on this football "team" and spread thy blessing in this physical display. Despite my disgust at having to use such primitive methods of displaying the foolishness of the current state of Mankind, I have accepted this course of action in believing my superiors have wisdom in their judgement. I write this to you, to foreworn you of my coming so that you may prepare your minds to be opened and taught the better path. And for those of you who are already predisposed to this path, I request of you to help your better man see that the current status quo of this instant gratification society that they have created is not the path that the bringers of life had in mind for their creation, and they have deviated too far from the lit path. Bring them to these matches so that they may witness the glorious wonders of enlightment and behold the grace of the right path to the Havens.

~ With Blessing
Harthgate

The Angry Dragon
Turruth Gordur to “Unleash Hell”

Gorgol “The Butcher” Harad says he does not care if his team wins or loses against Swilatia in Turruth Gordur’s first qualifying match for Nation States World Cup XXXVII. More than anything, he growled, he wants his team to beat up on Swilatia and show the Nation States footballing world that Turruth Gordur is back and more ferocious than ever.

“If we win tonight, so be it,” The Butcher said. “But, anyone that has ever faced us, even if they defeated us, knows what we’re about. I don’t think Swilatia knows what they’re up against. I don’t think they realize how angry we are that we have been overlooked by Nation States. I have ordered my player to be merciless tonight. Turruth Gordur will unleash Hell on those whelps!”

Indeed, the members of the Empire’s team were being extra rough during practice and several of them wore bandages and bruises. However, as expected, none of them complained, at all. In fact, from the hoots and hollers, the players seemed to be enjoying beating up on each other.

“This is nothing,” said team captain Draco Glaurung as a stream blood oozed from his head and down his face. “This is nothing…compared to what we plan to do to our opponents. We’re merely roughhousing.”

However, there is one team that The Butcher has pointed he will treat with utmost respect.

“The team from Vikingholm is a most honorable team,” he said in a gruff voice. “I have heard tales of Ivar the Boneless, and I look forward to meeting him and his team in person. However, before we get to play the Bersërkirs, we have to deal with all these insolent maggots. We will smash them.”

For the match in Swilatia, The Butcher posted the following roster:

Formation: 4-2-4
Bias: + 2

(starters in bold):
GK:
Gorbag Madril –– Valendia F.C. (Assegai Developments)
Runk Kronk –– Karndrâgh F.C
Bartholomew Dalison –– F.C. Ronkûrz Gropor Graves

DEF:
Boldog Gothmog –– S.C. Vagrant Hills (Assegai Developments)
Varg Vikernes –– F.C. Ronkûrz Gropor Graves
Huldah Sangria –– Timorlug Wargs
Ash Nazg –– S.C. Vagrant Hills (Assegai Developments)
Durbah Tulúk –– Karndrâgh F.C.
Bruna Garvel –– F.C. Mordoraz Dâgalûr
Sharku Warg –– F.C. Mordoraz Dâgalûr

MID:
Magda the Forsaken –– Karndrâgh F.C.
Snaga Lagduf –– F.C. Ronkûrz Gropor Graves
Uglúk Dramborleg –– F.C. Mordoraz Dâgalûr
Shagrat Grishnákh –– Timorlug Wargs
Anglachel Beleg –– Karndrâgh F.C.
Artok Brocas –– F.C. Ronkûrz Gropor Graves
Ivo Compton –– Timorlug Wargs

FWD:
Draco Glaurung –– Mar Sara Flames (Elves Security Forces) Captain
Dagor Bragollach –– F.C. Capri (Elves Security Forces)
Gromper Grîpper –– Karndrâgh F.C.
Barnard Savage –– F.C. Mordoraz Dâgalûr
Mauhúr Muzgash –– Timorlug Wargs
Enid Bloodcrow –– F.C. Ronkûrz Gropor Graves

Upcoming Match

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/swilatia.png [14] Swilatia =V= Turruth Gordur [44] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/turruth_gordur.png
Venue: Unknown (Capacity: Unknown) | Swilatia

© The Angry Dragon

World Cup Drawing

http://www.thomas-hardye.dorset.sch.uk/news/images/2006BerlinKrakow/DSCF0704.JPG

Today, The Games officials announced the group drawing and the schedules for the 37th World Cup, is it a good draw for us?...

Coricas, Cookesland – It’s that time again folks, the drawing from the World Cup, this year we’ve been placed into Group 2.

Group 2
Elves Security Forces
Wentland
Sativaville
Bushes Been Quaked
Cookesland
Prux
The Crescent Republic
Audioslavia


So what does this mean for all you Soccer fans out there? Well let’s look a the other nations. Here we have a lot of familiar faces, like Wentland or the ESF and some pretty decent newcomers like Prux to the scene. This is going to be one of, if not the hardest, World Cup for this team. Is it possible though, you ask? Of course it is! Even with a great challenge placed before this team the owls can do it. Now, the scheduling:


Schedule & Scores:

Win/Loss/Draw
MD1: @Bushes Been Quacked
MD2: @Prux
MD3: @Elven Security Forces
MD4: vs. Sativaville
MD5: vs. Audioslavia
MD6: @ The Crescent Republic
MD7: vs. Wentland
MD8: vs. Bushes Been Quacked
MD9: vs. Prux
MD10: vs. Elven Security Forces
MD11: @ Sativavile
MD12: @ Audioslavia
MD13: vs. The Crescent Republic
MD14: @ Wentland


All matches in Cookesland will be played at the newly contructed stadium, Delray Field. This will be for now and the foreseeable future the Blue Owls home field. In closing, GO Cookesland!



Story:
http://www.cbc.csl/national/story/07/soccer-152699.html

Published: 22:54:10 SST

© Cookeslandic Broadcasting Corporation – MMVII

Sorry, I didn't know if I was supposed to skip World Cup 37 or not, because I was in BoF. Oh well.

The Vanek'ian Times!

World Cup 37!

Yay! The World Cup 37 is now underway, with the VDB National Team now playing for their first time! Not many people know about this team outside the VDB, after a disappointing finish, 3rd in their group, just missing the quaterfinals, in the 24th Baptism of Fire tourney. Here is who is expected to start for the first match:

Strikers: Thomas Vanek and Ryan Carbon
Halfbacks: Chris Drury, Daniel Briere, Ryan Getzlaf, and Eric Belanger
Fullbacks: Zane Grey, Ryan Miller, Timothy Connolly, and Paul Pierce
Goalkeeper: David Mattel

The player to watch out for is Thomas Vanek, who enters this game with 10 straight games with goals in the Vanek'ian National Soccer League (VNSC) playing for Granderson FC. The schedule is:

Match Day #1: VDB vs. Sel Appa: The organizers of the Baptism of Fire tourney, the VDB will definitely be the underdogs.
Match Day #2: VDB vs. Vephrall: Who are these people?
Match Day #3: VDB vs. Kansiov: Foreign relations have never gone well between these two countries, and they will be at a lot of strain during this match.
Match Day #4: VDB vs. Az-cz: How do you pronounce this? Must be in their own tongue.
Match Day #5: VDB vs. Estresse Intenso: Sounds like an intense game... we'll see.
Match Day #6: VDB vs. British Londinium: A little vs. a big. British Londinium, the nation-crushing country, will face off against what appears to be in comparision the tiny Vanek'ian team.
Match Day #7: VDB vs. Naleloospalakintula: Huh?

OOC:

Godmod goals: Y
Godmod injuries: N
Preferably Thomas Vanek scores if you get to the RPing before me.

Miceland was full of things, little magical constructions that seemingly did nothing yet did everything, one of these things was a public news that used this magic to allow interaction between the newscaster and the watcher.

A Mouse walked upto the news outlet and a sort of ball of energy where a 3D hologram appeared. "What news would you like, we have Local, Sport, National and International" As the news reader spoke little floating buttons appeared with those words. The words we hear are the words of our native tongue however the actual sounds that were made were the squeaks and other similiar sounds that mice made to communicate.

"Sports"

"World Cup... Micelandic Marauders, In group 8 against Unified Capitalizt States, Squornshelous, Kiryu-shi, Swilatia, Turruth Gordur, Recluse Island and Vikingholm."

"Baptism of Fire un-warrented claim of puppetry, proposed link to 'Bazalonia', link denied by MouseFA."

"First match away at the Unified Capitalizt States - Expected loss."

"Do you want more?"

"Yes please, I want some more."

"Vickingholm, nation linked with alternate plane - Asgard."

BE CALM NEWSPAPER - DOCTOR ROGÉRIO LANDAU'S TRADITIONAL SHORT COMMENTS

The president of the Landau Institute, once again, talks about the opponents of the group stage, and says one phrase about each one of them:

Group 10

Az-cz - "Ouch!"

Sel Appa - "The Machine is full of surprises, maybe we can even get some points against them, but I'm not so confident."

Estresse Intenso - "That's us. Why should I comment about my own nation? It's not the first time that you make this mistake..."

Vephrall - "Dangerous, dangerous... the main threat against our third position."

British Londinium - "Maybe can get a playoff spot... notice that I said maybe, because I don't believe that this will happen."

Kanisov - "Well, I'd like to get some points against them... six, to be exact."

Vanek Drury Brieres - "We should play well against them, but who knows what will happen? Maybe I'll talk with Pai Dinah..."

Naleloospalakintula - "??????????"

Other comments: not an easy group, as Vephrall can get a playoff spot and British Londinium can surprise. But the doctors are good players, so we will fight for at least a playoff spot. With a good tactical preparation made by the machine, I'm confident that we can reach our objective and play our second World Cup.

Total Football
The Islands of Qutar's favourite sports magazine
02/03/2049

Gemma Stiles becomes first ever woman play for The Islands of Qutar national team

Eight years after women were allowed to compete and play in the same leagues as the men, another landmark for women in football was reached when manager James Lampard annouced his squad for the World Cup Qualifiers. Gemma Stiles who many see as leading the torch for women in football has been called up to the national team, after the twenty-four year old came joint top scorer in the Qutari Premier League in a stunning season. She had the following to comment about her national call-up;

It was amazing when I got the phone call, I was so excited ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to play for my country, and it's finally happened I keep pinching myself to make sure it's not a dream. Being the first woman to be called up gives me mixed feelings, on the one hand i'm glad that woman finally seem to have the respect of thier peers in football, but somehow I feel sad that it's taken so long for it to happen and the great women of Qutari football never had this chance so I'm going to do my best not to let them down.

Critics are on the whole happy with Lampard's decision to call her up, but do note that she has had no experience on the international stage and that no matter what gender experience is vital factor. She will however be going with a very experienced squad, and from reports in the media her and the team have bonded strongly. Unfortuanatly there are still those out there who are vehemently against women in what they call a "Men's only game", they have been protesting outside the national training ground and the QFA have made the executive decision to move the training ground to an unknown location and police have arrested several men in the crowd under the "Inciting Gender Hatred" Law.

Hope's are high this year for The Islands of Qutar to start getting back to the form of old, with the youth centre's being well invested in and national football initiative hopes are high of building The Islands of Qutar back up to its former glory. Lampard and the QFA have both agreed that they are aiming for the playoff spot, and they are aware that the international media won't rate thier chances but instead take this in thier favour, as Lampard put it the underdog can still bite.

Page 1

Host Announcement

This is the RP cutoff for Matchday 1. RPs after this post before the next cutoff count toward Matchday 2. Scores will be posted and a link added to this post in the next hour.

Matchday One scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13051042&postcount=4) are now available.

"YOU PLAYED LIKE SHIT OUT THERE LOSING 2-0 AT HOME TO Rastafariburg? A TEAM THAT WAS SO POOR ON TALENT THEY DECIDED NOT TO EVEN PUT NAMES ON THEIR PLAYER'S JERSEYS!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU ALL WERE DOING OUT THERE, BUT IT WASN'T FOOTBALL. DOUBLE LONG PRACTICE TOMMORROW YOU FUCKUPS. WE HAVE TO BE BETTER PREPARED FOR KELSSEK OR DON'T YOU WANT TO GO TO THE WORLD CUP?" Bellowed Jason Fowler after the match. "SEE YOU ALL AT 6 AM."

As Coach Fowler left the locker room, Ty Reed was called into the office by one of the assistants.

"Yeah Coach Jackson?" Ty said expecting the worst

"Don't pay too much attention to Fowl-Mouth Fowler, I don't" chuckled Jackson. "Just wanted to call you in to tell you you did good out there, even though you only played the last 8 minutes."

"Thanks Coach, umm may I ask you a question?" asked Ty.

"Sure, go ahead" Jackson replied.

"Why was Coach Fowler not allowed to play for the Jeruselem National team back then?" Ty said nervously.

"I don't know, really, I heard that he tried to hit on Kate Dallas, but that's just a rumor. You'd have to ask him about it, but I doubt that he'll tell you. "Jackson replied. "Get on outta here and try to get some sleep, tommorrow is going to be a long day for all of us, I bet."


GOALS:
Rastafariburg- 56', 72'


NsWiki for Qualifers: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Qazox_at_World_Cup_37_Qualifing

PRUXTON PRESS

The Good, the Bad and The Ugly

That one phrase sums up the World Cup qualifers opener in Sativaville for the Prawns.

The Good: The Prawns had no one injured and we had no yellow or red cards.

The Bad: The Prawns had only 4 shots on goal, and only one in the second half.

The Ugly: Red Herring gave up 5 goals on only 7 shots before being pulled for Meatball Sub.

When asked after the game why he had given up 5 goals, Red Herring had this to say:

To be completely honest, It wasn't my fault. The fans there kept blowing pot smoke in the area and I got so hungry, I lost my consentration. All I know is when they come to our place, that **** ain't gonna happen again.

So the qualifers are off to a rough start for the Prawns, but there still is many games left to play, starting with the next one at home vs. Cookesland at the new Prawn Stadium in Pawtucket. Tickets are still available, but expect a sell-out crowd tommorrow.

Bostopia 2 - 1 Sel Appa

Summary:
Bostopia starts with the ball and begins a quick attack, but Nikole Barr managed to quickly get into place and kick the ball back down field to Karl Gepardo who was able to get deep and make a kick that was deflected by Bostopian keep Peter Jeffers, conceding a corner. Miquelinho directed a pass to Michael Ebe, who was unable to make the cross.

Sel Appan attacks continued, but were unable to break deep enough into the Bostopian defense or catch the keeper off guard. Bostopian midfielder Stuart Flambriff twisted his ankle while trying to pass a ball and was substituted by Richard Ampling. Bostopia tries to make up by starting a large attack that ends in failure with Sel Appan keeper Mongke Bokegalbaatar punching the ball down the field.

Dzheighcymn Ghotiolo receives the ball and starts a short attack that catches Peter Jeffers off guard. The Turtles rejoice in their first goal of the match, but quickly return to positions. Harry Auderrie leads an attack started by Jeffers's goal kick, but is unable to complete it for a goal. Samantha Sitran is tackled by Freddie Marsh, but the referee decides not to show a card.

A corner by Miquelinho nearly leads to a goal, but the referee nullifies what may have been a goal. After some quarreling, play resumes when the referee threateningly reaches for his pocket. Bostopia's Aleksander Cripps leads a strong attack that catches Bokegalbaatar unprepared, but the ball bounces off the crossbar and whacks Mohammed al-Jafari in the head. He falls, but gets back up before the referee comes to the scene and declines medical help.

Half Time

Karl Gepardo leads a fierce attack and causes Bostopian defender Francis Vale to fall out of the way. The referee considers a card, but decides against it because there was no contact. Vale is injured, but returns to the game without a substitute. Bostopia looks nervous, not wanting to lose 1-0 to friendly rival: Sel Appa and puts more effort into attacking. Their efforts are stopped continuously by the robust Sel Appan defense and Bokegalbaatar's hands.

A Sel Appan attack led by Samantha Sitran turns into a Bostopian counter-attack that leads to a miraculous goal by Aleksander Cripps. The ball was shot by Cripps, but it bounced off the right post. He reconnected and was able to drive it right past Bokegalbaatar for the equalizer. Miquelinho kicked off, but the ball quickly changed feet and soon found its way back to the Sel Appan goal. Cripps tries for a second goal, bit it goes right into the keeper's hands. Stunned, he punted the ball far downfield to Michael Ebe. Ebe tried to score a goal but shot too wide. Mohammed al-Jafari trips during a Bostopian attack and is unable to continue playing. He is replaced by Bum Dae Kim.

The 1-1 draw irked the Turtles, who were used to defeating Bostopia. However, the new team appeared to not be ready for the challenges of international play. The defense started to weaken midway through the second half, allowing many close calls. Bokegalbaatar was forced into a lot of saves, conceding half a dozen corners in 10 minutes.

Bostopia's attacker Harry Auderrie makes clear he is too fatigued to continue and is replaced by Robert Karr, who leads an attack as soon as he gets in. On his third attempt, he succeeds in breaking past Sel Appan defender Karli Rengel and delivers a spectacular shot past Bokegalbaatar's head. Distraught by the goal, the Turtles nearly allow a third one in, but it manages to bounce off the post. Miquelinho starts a last minute attack during stoppage time, but the whistle blows before he is able to get past the Bostopian defense for a shot.

Goals:
Ghotiolo 33'
Cripps 60'
Karr 85'

Cards:
None

Substitutions:
Flambriff --> Ampling 20'
al-Jafari --> Kim 68'
Auderrie --> Karr 81'

At What Price?

Squornshelous pulled off a comfortable 2-0 victory at home against Vikingholm. The visitors played a tough, hard fought match against a Squornshelan side with a good mixture of strength and speed. Unfortunately, the extreme physicality of the match took it's toll on the Pschychoes. Defensive Midfielder Anton Gulbrand was at his hard-nosed best for the match, but landed awkwardly after an unsuccessful challenge against Harold Bluetooth at 52 minutes. He had to be carried off on a stretcher and was replaced by Viggo Haakana after a few minutes. He has since been diagnosed with a broken ankle, and will probably miss most of the rest of qualifying. The team doctors are being tight-lipped about long term prognosis, but they think he should be healthy in time for the cup proper.

The match, as has been mentioned, was a very physical affair with plenty of fouls and a few bookings on each side. Vikingholm had very few quality chances, their attack wasn't quite up to the task at hand, and they seemed to still be working out their 4-4-2 formation. There was some miscommunication between midfield and forward, altogether, a good way for a Squornshelan defense sporting all new starters to get used to each other.

At the other end of the field, the Pschychoes were frustrated for much of the match by a combination of lights out defense by the Berserks, and an annoying trend of leniency by the referee. It took Bjorn Ironside dragging Erkki Aatunen down within the box three times before a penalty was awarded, allowing Svoboda to net the first marker in the 40th. Squornshelous struck again not long after Gulbrand's injury. Polokov took advantage of the ref's laissez-faire attitude and roughly shouldered his way past Olof Skötkonung for a one on one with Norse keeper Sigurd the Mighty. Polokov calmed chipped the ball over him for two-nil.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-0 Vikingholm

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Polokov: 1
Svoboda: 1

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses
MD1: Squornshelous 2-0 Vikingholm
MD2: Miceland v Squornshelous
MD3: Squornshelous v Swilatia
MD4: Recluse Island v Squornshelous
MD5: Capitalizt SLANI v Squornshelous
MD6: Squornshelous v Kiryu-shi
MD7: Turruth Gordur v Squornshelous
MD8: Vikingholm v Squornshelous
MD9: Squornshelous v Miceland
MD10: Swilatia v Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous v Recluse Island
MD12: Squornshelous v Capitalizt SLANI
MD13: Kiryu-shi v Squornshelous
MD14: Squornshelous v Turruth Gordur

Two women - Dinkie Dosha and Kate Dallas wearing tiara.

Dinkie: Welcome! This is THE FOOTBALL for World Cup 37. My name is Dinkie Dosha, Captain of the Jeruselem World Cup team.
Kate: And I'm Crown Princess Katherine Alexandra Dallas! 2nd daughter of Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas.
Dinkie: On other words, she's just Kate Dallas, and she's also the team Vice captain and the captain of vice too.
Kate: Yeah, I'm royalty. I can't be a peasant anymore!

Dinkie: We are here live at the Dazza Dallas stadium in the city of Jerusalem, the biggest stadium in the nation.
Kate: Named after my mother of course.
Dinkie: Yes, the world Cup has started boys and girl, men and women
Kate: There's no escaping it, it's here - IN YOUR FACE right now.

Dinkie: Let's start with our own Jeru FC in Group 1, the army men! They have a hard time in their group mainly due to their crap ranking.
Kate: Yes, but today they look on Dance 2 Revolution and lost in a thrilling game. D2R won FOUR THREE but they did us proud with spirited performance.
Dinkie: Tunk Abrams boys did well but showed they weren't going down without a fight.
Kate: Good signs for Jeru FC so far.

Dinkie: Group six! Our friends Bettia played the unknown Zyla. No issues, Bettia had an easy THREE NIL victory to start with their usual bang.
Kate: Yes, after losing a friendly to Az-cz they needed to win. So they did, don't worry about Bettia folks
Dinkie: And Ariddia - Kate's favourite place.
Kate: You bet Dinkie, my second home folks.

Dinkie: Well, Ariddia played Konora and the new younger Ariddia showed it's promise - smashing Konara FIVE NIL.
Kate: Yes, looking hot for another cup. Can anyone stop Ariddia?
Dinkie: Speaking of hot, what's with the little black dress there Kate?
Kate: Me and my man are going to a PARTY tonight. It's my job, I get paid to party for the good of the nation!

Dinkie: Back to the football, Jeruselem played Kelssek here today. Kelssek had a recent draw with Ariddia in that French cup but today my Crusaders make sure Kelssek knew their place in the football hierachy.
Kate: Yeah, Jeruselem had a TWO NIL win at home but honest our finishing was a bit of due to the fact we didn't get any friendlies in beforehand. BUT Katie girl is happy.
Dinkie: Yes, 3 points - another 39 to go. Well OK, something like that.
Kate: Kelssek tried hard but with our sturdy defense - they had to chance. Hose Tunk scored our two goals in man of the match performance. He's also dating Dr Sally Dallas.

Dinkie: Hey, he's dating my doctor.
Kate: She's a good doctor!
Dinkie: And she's cheap too, popular with the local Jews for that reason.
Kate: Funny that Dinkie!

Dinkie: Yafor 2 scored four for the road against Miamoria
Kate: (sings) Mamma mia! Here I go again! How can I resist you!
Dinkie: Yes, another Dazza Dallas joke.
Kate: No, it's Kate Dallas joke!

Dinkie: C and M beat Billopesha ONE NIL
Kate: Can't spell that nation?
Dinkie: No, I'd end up saying Candle and Marquee
Kate: (giggles)

Dinkie: And the Pheonix didn't rise today, they crashed and burned to Rastafariburg
Kate: Jason Fowler must be hurling abuse and other things at his players at the moment. Losing to such a low ranked team
Dinkie: Yes, I'm glad Kate Bush is mind mattered woman, unlike Crazy Kate here.
Kate: Me? I'm just Kate.

Dinkie: OK, YAP YAP - what's the goss Katie girl?
Kate: Well, it seems this show has a rival in ratings! Top Gear Jeruselem.
Dinkie: That's because your Mum is hosting.
Kate: It's a great show! Even it is only once a month.

Dinkie: I'm not into cars.
Kate: You should watch the next show Dinkie. You'll learn things about cars.
Dinkie: That's it - see you all later.
Kate: Sur ton Velo!

Group 1
Dance 2 Revolution 4-3 Jeru FC

Group 4
Jeruselem 2-0 Kelssek
Qazox 0-2 Rastafariburg
Yafor 2 4-0 Miamoria
Candelaria And Marquez 1-0 Billopesha

Group 6
Bettia 3-0 Zyla

Group 11
Ariddia 5-0 Konora

Sel Appa 2 - 0 Vanek Drury Brieres

Summary:
Sel Appa's Miquelinho commences the kickoff. He struggles a bit past Vanek'ian defense, but manages a shot only 30 seconds in. Stopped by David Mattel, who throws it to Zane Grey. A counter attack is commenced, but Sel Appan midfielder Dzheighcymn Ghotiolo is able to halt it. His efforts force him to send the ball out of bounds and Chris Drury throws it in for Vanek Drury Brieres. Ryan Carbon takes the ball and runs with it. He is almost able to score, but Mongke Bokegalbaatar's hand is able to deflect it back into the field.

Thomas Vanek intercepts, but is stopped by Karli Rengel who masterfully passes it to Ghotiolo. He runs it down the field and trips over it, letting Eric Belanger have a go. Seeing the front blocked, he passes the ball back to the defense for Ryan Miller. Miller is also blocked and the ball retreats to the Vanek'ian keep, narrowly missing an own goal. David Mattel starts an attack, leaving the defense in the box. He runs the ball the whole field, stunning most of the Sel Appan team, who are surprised by a goalkeeper on the attack. Mattel takes his shot, but Bokegalbaatar is ready to knock it away, conceding a corner.

Ryan Carbon takes the corner, sets up Vanek for the cross. But, Bokegalbaatar appears to punch the ball down the field to a waiting Miquelinho who stumbles past the Vanek'ian defense to an open net and lobs the ball in. David Mattel realizes the mistake and is nearly beat up by Thomas Vanek, but Bokegalbaatar is able to stop him. The referee reaches for his pocket, but changes his mind. Play resumes and Thomas Vanek has the ball for the kickoff. He is tackled badly by Nikole Barr, but no card is shown.

Karl Gepardo starts an attack, backed by Miquelinho and Ghotiolo. He gets deep, but is thwarted by the Vanek'ian defense. Timothy Connolly is injured slightly, but remains in play. The ball has a little back and forth in the midfield before ending up with Miquelinho, who desperately shoots just narrow. A goal kick sends the ball to Daniel Briere, who passes it to Thomas Vanek. Nikole Barr moved up just in time and the flag goes up for an offside. Ghotiolo gets the ball and passes to Gepardo, who finds himself trapped and tries to give the ball to Michael Ebe. Ebe almost misses the pass, but closes in on the goal. He kicks and it goes over the crossbar knocking a fan in the head. Mattel throws the ball back into play, but just as Ryan Carbon receives it, the whistle is blown.

Half Time

Vanek Drury Brieres starts with the kickoff and starts an early attack that nearly results an a good goal, but Thomas Vanek was offsides. Bokegalbaatar started an attack through Mohammed al-Jafari, who passed the ball on to Colin Patette. Patette got far with the ball, but was forced to concede it to Vanek'ian Ryan Getzlaf. A counter-attack begins, but is halted leading to a back and forth just inside the Sel Appan half. Ryan Carbon sneaks in with a shot that the keep knocks away. A corner is granted.

Thomas Vanek takes the corner, and sets it up for Ryan Carbon. He misses and the ball goes to the Turtles. Eager to advance their lead, they begin to increase their attacks with Miquelinho at the front. Backed by Ebe, he has many close shots. The ball returns to Vanek Drury Brieres for a short time, but they are unable to do anything but pass. Arthur Mercator V intercepts the ball and sets up Ebe, who is lightly fouled by Zane Grey. A free kick is awarded and Michael Ebe prepares to set up Miquelinho. He kicks, Miquelinho receives the ball and slams it just inside the post.

The kickoff gives the Vanek'ian side something to hope for, but the Turtles start to harden their shell. Attacks are deflected better as the Sel Appans retreat into a defensive format. Thomas Vanek leads a strong blitz down the field that is able to punch through the defense, but the momentum swerves and causes him to shoot too wide. Bokegalbaatar uses a free kick to setup a Sel Appan counter attack, Mercator leads this, but is grossly fouled by Ryan Getzlaf. The referee arrives to find a collapsed Mercator and sends for a medic. A yellow card is held up. Mercator is replaced by an eager Miroc Szwtrz. Play resumes, but neither team is able to gain a significant advantage.

Both sides began to retreat into more defensive formations. The Turtles were satisfied with a 2-nil win, while Vanek Drury Brieres wanted to hold off a greater loss. They tried multiple times to penetrate the Sel Appan defense, but to no avail. They did not have the necessary skills to get through and make the right shot. The whistle blew with just one minute of stoppage time, giving the Turtles a nice winning start to their 8th World Cup run.

Goals:
Miquelinho 23', 67'

Cards:
Getzlaf 73' http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b1/Yellow_card.svg/10px-Yellow_card.svg.png

Substitutions:
Mercator --> Szwtrz 74'

The Daily Ball
Minilla Island's Sports Daily

WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?
Boys get bombed, 6-1


Northern Bettia - The next time the Warriors play these thugs on boots, they should bring a LASER Division with them. They could also do without the card decorations as the boys got two sent off in an ugly 6-1 rout at the hands of Northen Bettia, "This was not a football match," said Canter-half, Steve Warwick, "This was a street fight. They did everything short of bringing a lead pipe to this match." What they did bring, however, was a discipline that the Warriors simply did not have.

NB started out of the blocks with all guns blazing. After Dan Shinobu drilled one off the bar in th 7th minute, Stu Kaoada would drill a 25 yard shot that beat Sinise in the 10th minute. The fun continued as Calrissian fanned a pass right onto Harry Morioka. Morioka went around Kennedy, and dumped the ball to Shinobu for the tap in the 18th minute. Morioka nearly scored his first International goal when he looped a ball over Sinise only to be headed over the bar by Afflitto.

Kennedy's night would be over when he elbowed Kaoada after kaoada kicked him. Kaoada was taken out on a stretcher with a broken jaw, and Kennedy got sent off in the 38th minute. The Warriors night would go from bad to worse when Lee Chobi, getting his first cap, also got his first goal on a wicked shot from outside the box in first half injury time for the 3-0 lead.

As if the night was not bad enough, Kurkowski got his walking papers on the 50th minute when he went in for a violent tackle against Morioka. Morioka got taken out with a torn ACL, and Kurkowski was sent to the showers. Morioka is expected to be out for the tournament. His sub, Casey Duhul, also got his first cap and his first goal when he received the pass from Kaolla, and rifled a shot off the crossbar and into the net for the 4-0 lead.

The Warriors would gain a goal of honor on the hour when Jackson got tripped from behind by Shiganu. Shiganu got sent off, and Warwick would deposit the Penalty in the top corner. Jackson came off the pitch with a sprained ankle, and is listed day-to-day. Shinobu would nail a low shot in the 80th minute off a sweet give and go from Duhul. Chobi would score the final goal in the 88th minute going one-on-one with Sinise, and then depositing the ball into the lower right-hand corner.

"This was a nightmare." Said gaffer Palen, "We were the deer in the headlights. We should have played much better than this. We can and will play much better than this." "I am embarrassed." Said Sinise. "I am embarrassed for myself, my team, my family, and my country. Our performance was completely inexcusable." "we need to win at home," states Lewis. "We don't, and everyone will have a right to demand that we be shot. We are a much beter team than this. This was an embarassment that will not be repeated."

The Lineup for the MD 2 is: Sinise; Waklin, Christian, Roberts, Afflitto; Calrissian; Keltner, Harris; Warwick; Lewis, Estrada

Formation: 4-1-2-1-2
Out: Kurkowski (RC Susp), Kennedy(RC Susp), Jackson(Inj.)

Recluse Island Snatch Draw

Recluse Island managed to snatch a late draw from Kiryu-shi to kick off the Islander's World Cup debut.

Garret McGee opened the scoring for Kiryu-shi, lobbing the ball over Recluse Island goalkeeper Giovanni Prospiri after only 6 minutes. Recluse Island managed to regain their control, but were unable to find the net in the first half.

The second half started as badly as the first for the Islanders, when Kiryu-shi substitute Emily Boyle found the net in the 58th minute. Recluse Island was forced to put as many men forward as possible, leaving only defender Nick Vujacic and goalkeeper Giovanni Prospiri back to defend.

This tactic paid off in the 68th minute when Aaron Carle, normally a defender, scored from a header off of a Turo cross. Recluse Island finally managed to get back on level terms when Jose Pedro dos Santos Neto scored a wonder goal, managing to dribble the ball out of defence, all the way up the field to the Kiryu-shi goalkeeper and managed to blast the ball into the back of the net, off the post to score the late equalizer.

THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE ARCHREGIMANCY

On The Shameful 0-0 Home Draw to Integrite


The LORD hath accomplished his fury; he hath poured out his fierce anger, and hath kindled a fire under our squad, and it hath devoured the foundations thereof.

The pundits of all nations, and all the inhabitants of the world, would not have believed that the adversary Integrite should have held us to a draw.

Our squad have played as blind men in the streets, they have polluted themselves with cynical tackles, so that the referee could not but show them yellow.

The anger of the LORD hath divided them; he will no more regard them: they respected not the persons of the opposition, they favoured not Integrite's accompanying officials.

As for us, our eyes as yet failed for our vain help: in our watching we have watched a team that could not score in a brothel.

Our persecutors from Integrite were swifter than the eagles of the heaven: they pursued us across the field of play, they laid wait for us in the centre circle.

The punishment of thine iniquity is accomplished, O squad of the Archregimancy; you will no more carry yourselves away into victory: you will visit thine iniquity; you have discovered the consequence of thy sins.

Amen

The locker room was tense.

In fact, that was a bit of an understatement.

In one corner, Carter sat with nervous anticipation, bouncing gently where he sat, looking around, unable to keep still.

Mike was slumped against his locker, lost in some kind of daydream, trying to anticipate a disturbingly unlikely victory.

Lori was cursing the other team quietly, using colorful epithets to describe each of them, their mothers, brothers, sisters, offspring, pets and any other associates in turn.

Pan was in a stressfully happy mood, walking around and joking enough to enrage the others.

Silvia sat, staring at her feet, her arms covered with a pair of red-and-white warmer-gloves. Slowly, she moved one, then the other.

Ari was eating a meat pie. He had already finished two, this being his third, what was left of a large cola sitting next to him.

Barney was pacing. A groove was already starting to form in the carpet.

Lewis was listening to a local radio broadcast, the small portable pressed against his ear, and his anger growing visibly almost every second, until he reached the point that he threw the radio across the room, smashing it against the door.

"What the hell, Lewis?" Scott asked, his concentration broken from taping most of his joints with surprising amounts of athletic tape.

"They're predicting 3-0! A 3-0 victory. No respect at all."

"Well, what exactly did we do to get respect, anyway?" Torrin asked. "We just kind of showed up."

"We bothered to make the trip, that should be enough."

"Pfft." Mike said. "Screw'em, most radio personalities are washed up crappy players anyway."

Three knocks on the door snapped everyone to attention. "Time." The referee said through the crack.

Pan stretched. "It's only 90 minutes, guys, what could happen?"

Silently, the team walked down the maze under the seats, out to the tunnel, taking casual glances at the opposition. Lori was still cursing under her breath, drawing a few glances. Out the front, the seated crowd was visible. Some disapointingly stirring music sounded, and the teams entered the field.

---

The first strong Demot attack came in minute nine. Four attackers swept deep into the box, and a well-screened shot came from ten yards out, hitting the post and bouncing back, the same player kicking into the diving arms of Lori Airenn. The attack faded back, and as the ball was drop-kicked out. From behind the defensive trio, a cry of "That's right!" came from the goalie as the rest of the team watched the ball fly out of the danger zone, for the moment.

---

Casari got it's chance in minute nineteen, but the first successful counter wasn't so much of a success. The attacking trio of Silvia, Carter, and Pan were quickly broken down, the ball collected by the keeper as it halfheartedly bounced towards the goal.

---

Twenty-nine minutes had elapsed, and the match had taken on a blow-counterblow mechanic- Casari falling back, Demot forcing at attack, Casari repelling and trying to use the speed up front to score on the counter. The pattern was well developed and had been proceeding for some time now, neither side succeeding, even though Casari seemed to be about to falter.

A foul had led to a long Demot free kick, just on the Casaran half of the line. The long, swinging kick met the head of Tara Bruski, to the feet of Carter Lawton. The Casaran forwards sprinted up the field, Carter carrying it deep down the wing and putting in a cross on the fly 20 yards out. Henry and Silvia converged in the box on it, but Silvia got to it, hitting it and falling back onto Henry as the ball floated into the net.

Most of the Casaran players hadn't realized it had gone into the net until Carter ran in and picked Silvia up, spinning around in a circle, and the Demot Keeper walked in to get the ball. The next few seconds were full of astonished looks as the trio sprinted back to their half of the field.

---

The locker room at halftime was more stressed than it was before the match. Ari looked like he was about to re-experience his lunch, Silvia spent the entire halftime tugging on her uniform, blinking in disbelief. Pan was yelling about how there was more to come. And Lewis was busy listening out the door, at the silence of the crowd. "Not singing now, are they?"

---

Casari broke through again in the sixty-fourth minute, and in spectacular fashion. A Demot corner had the Casarans digging in, but another well timed jump played the ball to the feet of Silvia once again.

A long run ensued, including a give-and-go around the last defender, as Mike trailed behind a few steps. A shot from the left-center of the box made good, and Casari led the game two-nil.

---

The eighty-eighth minute was a reversal of fortune- the opposition temporarily on it's heels, forming a wall for a free kick just outside their own penalty box. Silvia stepped back to take the kick, the rest of the Casaran front jocking for position. Henry took a long run into the box in order to head the ball into the goal, but there was no need- the ball gracefully spun into the corner of the goal.

---

The pile-on after the final whistle was already destined to be one of the lasting images of the World Cup, as was the lap of the stadium the team took carrying Silvia Hill, who had already proven herself as a worth heir to the playing legacy of the long time national team manager, Vivica Hill.

It was walking back down the tunnel to the locker room when it actually started to hit home. Mike started snickering, Pan was hollering and whooping, and Ari was attempting to come up with a vulgar song about the ability of Demot to play soccer, comparing it to the suction of various household items and stellar phenomena.

In the locker room, Lewis pulled a well-hidden bottle out of his bag. "Hey, everybody, shut up!" The celebration stopped, the team turning to look.

"3-0... Maybe those shits on the radio were more accurate than I thought!" A heartfelt cheer followed, and the bottle made more than a few laps around the room.

---

The Casari Gold Lines flight back home next morning was almost entirely empty- the team and a few sleeping businessmen, headed into or back to the country for some reason. But the airline provided free television on the flight.

The CBA's World Cup commercial had to have been hastily made after the match, which wasn't televised- seemingly the only one that wasn't going to be. The commercial was almost a highlight reel of the Casaran performance- Silvia's hat trick, the occasional tackle, saves, headers, and runs for the ball- cut together and probably using a slight amount of computer graphics to make it look like one continuous action sequence, complete with a building musical score and ending on a proud announcement of the CBA's presentation of the Casaran World Cup effort, starting with the next match- at home, against Oliverry, at the downs.

"This might be bigger than we initially thought." Mike said.

---

Wilson Downs looked significantly different upon the return of the team. A number of lights had been placed around the pitch- not above it, but at ground level, shining across the grass and up into the air- with wires running to an electrical truck parked by the road. A low fence protected and covered the wires.

"What is all this?" Mike asked.

"Oh, we had to work out a way to light the pitch for our broadcast. Producer Milo Rossington, I'm in charge of the broadcasts."

"Um... well, thanks, but we intended to play day games..."

"People won't watch day games. Don't worry, the lights won't blind you- they give this really cool stadium-of-light effect, it's going to look great. Management at Tyrellian International says that the Hill won't be ready for about 9 months for any serious play, but until then we're going to try and hold the crowds here-"

"Who told you to do all this?"

"Oh... the CSA president, of course. We bought broadcast rights from the CSA, giving us the right to improve the grounds and adjust the match times for broadcast."

"We're not with the CSA, though."

"You might not be, but the rights to all World Cup properties in Casari belong to them. You'll like the lights, they give a very cool effect."

"... we need to practice, you know."

"Oh, go ahead, we'd hate to get in your way." Milo said, answering his cell phone and walking back to a production truck.

Mike frowned, as Pan walked up behind him. "This is much bigger than we initially thought."

He put down his paper, the backpage of it was splashed with the news of the Bazalopes 5-0 win over Vuam & Isma, but he didn't care, his break was just finishing and it was time for the 39 year old Archivist from the Bazalonian National Library, Luke Anderson, to return back to job.

Some new documents had come in to the library from some source, he didn't know where, but then again he never knew where anything he archived came from and so it was just the normal, scanning the document, applying the metadata standards and give it a number and enter it into the computer system.

"Hmm, that strange..." He thought as he started to read the item "The Kingdom of Bazalonia?! This is weird it all seems legit... I better call the professor down, perhaps he call help."

He took a few steps in the room where he was to the internal phone system for the library, he called his boss, Professor Frankle, "Proffesor," for some reason the professor always liked to called by his honouriffic, even though generally it was quite an informal workplace.

"What do you have?", the proffessor said as he walked in. "We have this, an ancient Bazalonian document, well, better for you to read for it self." Luke said as he directed the proffesor to the document...

"Hmm, This batch of documents came in from a private collector, if indeed there was a kingdom of Bazalonia somewhere around we'd need to find out exactly where these documents came from."

"If it's true it will totally re-write our early history, we don't even know how come we first started to be a prime ministerialship. It seemed that all our earliest documentation got destroyed."

"Right, exactly why we need to speak with whoever found it."

"I've got the information somewhere." the professor said as he went back upto his office...

The documentation revealed something interesting.... The person who had given the documents to the BNL was James Gaines, President of the World Cup Commitee.

"Hello, and welcome to match of the Day i am Gary and these are your two not as beutiful co-hosts Alan and Peter.

Today, we will have coverage of the Solenial-Schiavonia game which ended in rather Dissappointement

[*Game Plays*]

And for all of you, here are the Match Stats:"

[*Screen Flashes*]

Solenial

Goals: 0
Shots: 4
Shots on Target: 2
Fouls: 3
Yellow Cards: 1
Red Cards: 0
Possesion: 40%

Schiavonia

Goals: 4
Shots: 9
Shots on Target: 7
Fouls: 5
Yellow Cards: 0
Red Cards: 0
Possesion: 60%

"So, Alan, how do you think Solenial played today?"
"oh, rather dissapointing, i mean, the Strike force were definately up for it, same with the Goalkeeper, Palema. But, the defence turned into shambles in the Second half, and that's why they lost the game..."
"Do you think 4-0 represents how the match was played?"
"No, not of all, it should of been about 3-1 judging by the heart Solenial had..."
"And Peter, how do you think Solenial will do on the qualifiers?"
"If they want to qualify, they better get practising, that's all i've gotta say..."
"Okay, thats all we have time for today, Good Night!"
[*Exit Tune*]

It was a time of legends...




A time when all was new and pure, before earthly corruption had been visited upon the world.

A time when giants still roamed the ether, and mingled among mere mortal men.

A time when teams called Crosshill, Al Quds, Giant Zucchini and Dennisov still walked tall and proud upon the footballing stage.

There are few alive today who remember those times.

But it is said that some still live... somewhere beyond the confines of mere ordinary reality, a few legendary figures still remember...

I here call out their names... the Basileus, the Prince Imperial, Basil, Theo and, yes, Juan Tzimisces.

He is ancient.

He is legend.

Fear him, for surely his time has come again.


As their defence crumbles to allow seven goals, who today in Ambrose-Douglas would disagree?

For today they face not a man, but a force of nature. His wrath strikes the unwary, his left foot unleashes the thunderbolt, the opposition quakes in terror.

Are there none who can stand against him?

And what of his teammates? Is it not enough that the opposition face Tzimisces? Yet Tzetzes scores three, Synadenuso scores two, and Comneno joins his captain in scoring one.

Perhaps a new time of legends has been born....

There was little activity at the CSA headquarters. With nothing left to run but a youth trophy after the withdrawal, the staff had dwindled down to 14 and a computer with a cowboy hat sitting on top.

Until today, that is. The call came in- The Casari Broadcasting Alliance, or CBA, was intent on covering the Casaran Qualifying Effort. Thinking it was a mistake, CSA President Roy Allen agreed- it wasn't his loss. But when an assistant pointed out the highlights some fan had posted online, Allen took a deep interest. Someone apparently went over his head- or under his nose, as it were.

The problem was, the CSA had no leverage in the situation. None of the players were associated with it, the TV rights were already gone, and trying to change that now would just make the CSA the government-sponsored bully.

But there were other good benefits. The Casaran Professional Leagues had lapsed into semi-pro competitions and a large number of teams were dormant, but the stadia and infrastructure were there- and hopefully, the passion. And if there was anything to get that going, two dozen college kids who had just upset a nation that had made it to the top in their absence would be it.

Allen began thinking how to organize his depleted staff- there were crops of kids decent at the game graduating every year. Investment would be necessary, but not overly critical- the major stadiums had found other uses, and some were in moderately good shape.

Somehow, soccer was back in the news, and they had a bunch of kids to thank for it, but by no means was the push over yet. The major question now was, of course, how can they help without being the bad guy?

Then it hit him. Flailing at the phone, he managed to hit the intercom button. "Maria, we need to call some contractors and put together some kind of bidding process."

"What, why?" The voice on the other end said.

"Ylompic's a dump, and nobody's going to be able to play there anymore, ever, if we don't work on something now to refurbish it."

"It's going to be expensive."

"Well, if we get our way, money won't be a problem."

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/national-independent.gif

SPORTS BRIEFING
FOOTBALL: KELSSEK GOES DOWN FIGHTING AGAINST JERUSELEM
The national football team opened its World Cup 37 qualifiers in Jeruselem and managed to scare the illustrious home team several times before succumbing to the superior skills and conditioning of the Jeruselem players. Ian Sinclair came close, blazing a howitzer inches wide in the 25th minute with the goalie beaten, but the second half was all Jeruselem as Kelssek were unable to keep it up and two goals in quick succession were all that were needed, though Jeruselem could have scored more with better finishing. Team manager Gregory Babcock praised the team's performance, saying that "we worked hard, and it's a good start for the campaign."

Line-up: Davis, Gobrynin, Dubois, Avant, St. Louis (Regehr 69), Colwyn (Smith 85), Fletcher, Arsenault (Archer 69), Anderson, Sinclair, Cournoyer.

"We were simply just outclassed, it was clear that SLANI was the much better team."

"They were expecting us to be bigulated and we were, perhaps we could try other ways perhaps other ways next time."

"Dunno, that's up to MouseFA but don't think it would have helped only a GodMod-class artifact would have gotten us a win."

"Pfft, you know about the consequences that those things have... nasty things would happen... and I don't want to be on the receiving end of those GodMod things. So I'm planing on staying away from MouseFA as long as possible.

"Well, who's up next... "

"Uhh.... someone... Squornshelous."

"Gah, well at least we're getting the hard games out of the way first so we're actually getting some experience for when we play teams like the Vikings, Recluse Island and Turruth Gordur."

"Still SLANI put on a great show... and the UCS is certainly interesting to visit... I'm wondering whether there is anything here that isn't needlessly complicated."

"Look at this, it's the public transportation system being run by private corporations... It's all just all over the place and confusing, oh, well the Squorns will be coming to us this time. At least this wqill be the last time we come here."

St Samuel (1) 2
Mazzerani 31
Le Ricco 82
Sorthern Northland (1) 2
China 43
Min-Kim 67

St Samuel were yesterday held to a 2-2 draw in there first fixture of the World Cup Qualifiers. In what was an even and tightly contested match both teams came from a goal behind to equalise. It was St Samuel that took the lead on the 31st minute when Mazzerani connected with a cross from Batista and volleyed home an unstoppable shot to put the Latin Crusaders one-nil in front.

Sorthern Northland got the equalizer just before half time on the 43rd minute when a shot was palmed away by Corinthian and Korea China pounced on the ball and placed it in the back of the net. Sorthern Northland had a chance to go 2-1 up seconds later when Diego Maran was one-on-one with Corinthian but his shot was tipped wide.

After the half time break both sides had a handful of chances but it was Sorthern Northland that scored first. A corner from Maran was looped into the box and it was 23 year old Kim Min-Kim that beat his marker and headed a powerful shot over Corinthian and into the net.

Sorthern Northland then began to defend there lead and St Samuel began to dominate the match pouring the pressure on the Sorthern Northland defence. Some magnifcent goal keeping from George Palmer denied St Samuel the equalizer and by the 80th minute it looked like St Samuel's would be out. A corner on the 83rd minute to St Samuel was swung in Batista and punched away by Palmer, but only as far as Roberto Zaggi whose thunderous effort was pushed away by Palmer onto the head of St John, whose header hit the bar and fell to Frankie Le Ricco who smashed the ball home to get the equalizer.

All in all the 2-2 scoreline was a fair result for the two sides that were quite evenly matched.

A last-minute goal from substitute Clifton Marshall gave Kura-Pelland a vital victory at home to Patusan.

Kura-Pelland seemed destined to lose this match at half-time, 1-0 down to a superbly organised defence, buoyed by all three midfielders dropping back seemingly all the time, Aldo Baretto scoring from a header in the 19th minute, then all-out Karela from there.

Until the 57th minute, when Ali Khaddafi cheaply gave possession away to Giorgio Pezzoni. There seemed no danger, but the long ball by the player now plying his trade in Candelaria And Marquez was misjudged by Iqbal Samad and Jamie Kirklees was able to smash the ball into the top corner with a first-time shot.

From then on, Patusan seemed frightened, barely leaving their own half, but they hung on. And on. But the arrival of Marshall - who led Delta Force Cardim to a club-record third in the league last season - proved influential. In the 85th minute, he beat Samad for pace, and the tackle from behind caused Samad to be sent off. From then on, Patusan looked completely rattled, piled too many bodies into their own box, and a last-minute corner deflected off substitute defender Handi Hamzah and fell to Marshall, whose shot in turn took a slight deflection off Irsyad Aras who came back from midfield to help out.

The White Hope Stadium erupted. Patusan's claims about Kura-Pelland being 'cheats' for not giving them a Cup of Harmony invite made them highly unpopular, and this goal might just be the most popular ever scored in this ground. There is now a clamour to pick Marshall for the next game, an away game at unpromising newbies The Indonesian States.

MD2 ODDS courtesy of GetLucky

GEISENFRIED v BETTIA
Geisenfried 11/5; Bettia evens; draw 5/2

THE INDONESIAN STATES v KURA-PELLAND
The Indonesian States 11/2; Kura-Pelland 1/2; draw 11/4

ZYLA v TURORI
Zyla 13/2; Turori 4/11; draw 4/1

REJISTANIA v ARIDDIA
Rejistania 7/2; Ariddia 8/11; draw 5/2

PRUX v COOKESLAND
Prux 8/11; Cookesland 22/7; draw 22/7

Chloe was flipping through various reports and coverage of the Ulzaxid - Grotwohl match. She had finally accepted the result and moved on from her disappointment in watching the Ulzaxids fall short of what she believed should've been 3 points for them.

She was thinking about a lot of things when she heard the first instance. She wasn't listening that closely but the words "beauty and the beast" made her sit up and take note of where the broadcast was coming from. That was the Grotewohl broadcast. At first she was really ticked at Grotewohl, but as that or similar lines kept appearing from around the world she was just generally disappointed. She knew that Ulzaxids wouldn't care in the slightest but she was not happy with that coverage. So she decided that she was going to try to convince the nation to put together a much more comprehensive set of promotional materials. She was going to have to get some help but she thought she could earn Ulzaxids more respect than she seemed to currently have.

She also thought she'd she if she couldn't arrange a friendly match between the Ulzaxids and Miceland. If there was a country that knew what it was like to be so totally different it would probably be the mice. Maybe they could increase each other's profile. She wasn't certain what else she could do, but knew she wanted to do something.

As for the football part of it, she was looking forward to getting more work in out on the pitch. She was hoping to help come up with tactics to beat the Tremarendakia Chieftains. Little was know about them, but they like Ulzaxid were BoF runners up, so there is that bit of commonality. However she was a bit behind on her studies and unlike Ulzaxids can't just mindmeld to learn stuff so she decided to stop dreaming about football and get back to work.

Note: The lack of references to Elven Security Forces footballers in this RP isn't down to ignorance about the ESF players, i'm simply heeding to the "Choose my goalscorers: N" note on the ESF roster, and theres not much in this RP about anything other than the goals. I can go back and put players names in when the identities of the goalscoerers become apparent. No biggie.

Once again, Jeremy's attempt to scribble his tactical ideas on his notepad was thwarted as, for the fourth time in twenty minutes, the sudden shock of two-hundred decibels of elven celebrations jolted his pencil into one of his fingers. He looked up to see six blue shirts dancing towards the touchline, backlit by a scoreboard that read ESF 4-0 AUD. The first goal was expected, a twenty yard strike by a blue shirt that left Evander Feateigh helpless, it was just that every time Jeremy picked up his notepad to try and forge a plan to stop the goals coming, the Elves would score again. Jeremy put down his notepad. "Thwarted!" he thought, albiet with no real conviction, and conviction was something Jeremy knew a lot about.

Jeremy was, unfairly, he thought, arrested and jailed fifty-one years ago after an incident in a bar where he was seen to stand up, point at a barman who had dropped a glass and shout "sack the juggler!". Jeremy had called it 'a minor offence', but he had nevertheless broke one of Audioslavia's most ancient and revered laws. Rule 1a, section 7: "Don't be a twat". He was scheduled to be released after just three months and put on PPP (Prat Prevention Probation, a state of affairs whereby you leave prison, but are accompanied for three weeks by a big guy with a stick to hit you with should you try and be funny in public places) but, what with Audioslavia going into civil war and all its major cities being razed to the ground, he was forgotten about. It was only last year that one of the many looters of post-war Audioslavia stole the bars from his cell and inadvertently let Jeremy go free.
"Jesus christ", Jeremy had said, "thanks man... hey, where are you going with those bars?".
"The field" the looter had replied, "we need some goalposts".
Fifty one years in a cell and Jeremy, at one time Audioslavia's most revered football journalist, had been released by a footballer who didn't even know who he was. Fate has a ridiculously average sense of irony.

Post-War Audioslavia was a strange place. Once a swarming mass of land that covered thousands and thousands of square miles of rolling fields, massive cities, massive fields and rolling cities (the latter being a paticularly ill-advised and fatal adventure into the short-lived fad of ultra-mega-hyper-extreme-architecture), the nation was now an island mass of charred grass, rivers of ash and nothing more. Its only city, simply named 'Cathair' (or 'City' in the local dialect), was built from the salvagable remnants of all the others and situated slap bang in the middle of the country, surrounded by acres upon hectares of nothing. The only thing that still stood from Audioslavia's past were the miles of barracades on the coast, built years ago in the failed attempt to stop the Lemmitanians and Gilmecians from getting into the country and left there to rust ever since. Jeremy, emerging into the outside air for the first time in decades, took a long time to get used to the new state of affairs. He was helped, however, by his first action. He followed the looter to the field, and watched as a group of youths fashioned two posts from the iron bars that had kept him in that cell, and kicked lumps out of each other for ninety minutes. Some of those youths would go on to form the Audioslavia team that would, a year later, take the field against the Elven Security Forces in the nations' first foray into international football in its new, much depleted state. The looter, a tall, muscular, hairy twenty-five year old by the name of Auren O`Connor, was its captain, and was giving ESF goalie Jacob St. Louis a kick in the knee for daring to intercept a hopelessly overhit through-ball to him from Kasper Jansen.
"We're not up to much" thought Jeremy as St Louis dusted himself down and cleared the ball back into the Audioslavian half. "...yet".
Jeremy smiled to himself. One day, in a distant future, but one day none the less, Audioslavia would be back among the top ranks of international football. One day. Jeremy smirked and picked his notepad back up. He'd formulate some kind of plan to get Audioslavia winning again. If he'd had a few speedy fullbacks, he could play more of a counter attacking game, letting the midfield drop deep and giving the wingers...

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

Jeremy dropped his notepad again. The scoreboard clicked over to five-nil. Under his breath, nobody heard Jeremy's mutterings.
"Bloody notepad..."

FINAL SCORE
Elven Security Forces 5-0 Audioslavia

What the Papers Say

As only football can achieve; front and back page, tabloid and broadsheet were united in C&M in the coverage of the national team’s opening World Cup qualifying game at home to Billopesha. The slightly uninspiring nature of the 1-0 win, coming courtesy of a Steven Fritz penalty on twenty-four minutes, provoked mixed reactions however.

Simeon Barness, in the Albrecht Herald, claimed that, “In me, at least, it never ceases to induce a state of wonder. After so many decades of sporting obscurity, the eleven best footballers in the Republic lined up as one of just ninety-six teams deemed worthy of the honour of competing for the most coveted prize in international sport. To sit amongst the assembled rascal multitude present at our country’s shining symbol of architectural brilliance, to see forty-thousand men, women and children listen patiently to the lilting sirenic strains of On Billopeshian Ground before throwing ever fibre of their quiddity into O, Sweet Nation… Truly, can there be a more inspiring visage offered to our orbicular organs in these islands we call home?”

After several pages of this, his Herald colleague Tracker Edwards offered a more sober assessment under the leader C&M Go Forth. Edwards praised “a workmanlike performance in which Mark Baker’s men failed to show the quality surely necessary to take third place in this group, while seldom being troubled by the Billopeshian advance.” He goes on to wonder if, “Baker should be given every credit in the world for taking a team of nine players drawn from the thud-and-blunder of the CMSC and forging from them a patient, thoughtful unit who could yet elevate their defensive style to a high art? Or in finding a new image for the country’s national team, is he in danger of taking from his players the very aggression and energy that could provide them a vital edge at this level?”

The Albrecht Mercury was rather more cheery lavishing praise on “the swagger of a Big Blues side that could have won by three.” C&M’s “free-flowing football” was, according to the Mercury, “a sign of rapidly growing confidence that must leave fans and Mark Baker united in raptures.”

But even the Mercury had to acknowledge the team’s failure to put the game beyond doubt, the Bove-based National Reporter not alone in bemoaning C&M’s finishing, describing forward Yasser Zaghloul as “a man surely out of his depth. He has been described as a ‘confidence player’ by Baker and if so he must regain it quickly. C&M cannot afford to include a player to lead the line who will only put away one chance in half a dozen.” Elsewhere, El Periodico del Arrigo and Noticias en las Islas (Bass) were the most vociferous in calling for the introduction of MarquezOW star Ignacio Vélez for the country’s forthcoming string of away games. Coach Mark Baker looks unlikely to agree to their demands however for the potentially key away game at Rastafariburg.

Albrecht’s Daily News gives particular notice of warning regarding the trip to Rastafariburg, covering in detail their 2-0 away defeat of Qazox, which they describe as “arguably the most note-worthy upset of the opening round of matches.” All papers, as has become de rigueur, included large spreads of details of C&M’s foreign destinations with a Herald editorial far from alone in noting, “some of the more unsavoury aspects of the country’s native religion. Travelling fans should avoid partaking in any of these unhealthy practises at any cost, remaining sequestered in the assigned hotels, if necessary. The article later advises strongly against “any citizen, in a moment of madness, thinking of bringing any of these substances back to Candelariasian shores.”

Billopesha also come in for attention across the papers, Khatib-based The Candelariasian claiming that, “these two games in World Cup qualifying must not be allowed to be our only contact with cultural, ideological and geographical brethren from across the seas.” Most other writers focus on the players themselves, with Billopeshian ‘keeper Derek Loose being awarded the “Star Man”, and similar titles, in four of the national dailies; despite his wayward lunge at O’Sullivan Caras that gave away the decisive penalty.

From the Rushmore Sports Daily’s Brian Kennedy Column

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 5-0 Konora http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/konora.png

Comfortable start for defending Champs

Ariddian and Konoran flags flew in and around Darras Olympic Stadium as the Rouge-et-Noirs began their attempt to defend their world title, facing Group 11 minnows Konora.

“It’s not a matter of winning or losing,” one optimistic fan said before the start of the match. “It’s a matter of winning with the biggest goal margin possible. This should be our easiest game, so it should be the best we can do.”

Team coach Jane Sanderson was more cautious, expressing respect for the Ariddian’s inaugural opponents.

“I’ve seen the Konorans train,” she said. “We’d be foolish to under-estimate them.”

Other supporters were simply hoping their team would avoid the embarassment of a draw, the likes of which have plagued the Ariddian side in previous qualifying campaigns.

A large home crowd cheered and applauded as Ariddia’s new starting eleven –Wesh, Nelson, E’i, Riverain, Clocher, Cove, Rodriguez, Hwang, Guirreh, Shahrour and Et– performed the ulek in front of an unflinching Konoran team. Then the same crowd joined in with loud singing as the Ariddian national anthem, Dream, was played (http://folk.ntnu.no/makarov/temporary_url_20060919zkkfg/internationale-instr-defence_ministry_nazarov_1977.mp3).

Ryan Loiinstan played the kick-off for Konora, passing towards Maria Rieesa. But like a sprinter bursting off the starting blocks, Jamilah Shahrour (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Jamilah_Shahrour) rushed into the ball’s trajectory, intercepting and controlling it almost without slowing. She raced down the field, team mate Elmi Hamzah Guirreh following close off to her left. Facing a wall of hastily assembled Konoran defenders, Shahrour slowed, made her way past one, then another, before making a long pass to the side towards Guirreh. Bypassing a lone defender, Guirreh sent the ball hurtling into Aria Cartwright’s net. A goal, after forty-three seconds. The crowd erupted with whoops, shoots and applause.

It was not quite a record; Ta I (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ta_I) still holds that, with a goal against Jeruselem after 13 seconds in World Cup 29. But it was enough to give every Ariddian a tremendous confidence boost, and to shake the Konorans moments after the beginning of the match.

Reacting well, the guest team rallied, and were able to snap off two shots on goal during the first half, both of them saved by Tu Wesh. But the Rouge-et-Noirs –unsurprisingly, given the highest gap in rankings imaginable– dominated with little difficulty.

Two goals from Iol Et, the thirty-three year old “veteran”, gave Ariddia a 3-0 lead by half-time, and it was difficult to imagine a change of fortune in the second.

Keen to stock up on their goal tally, the Rouge-et-Noirs continued to attack. Switching from a balanced style to a more defensive one, the Konorans closed ranks, but Shahrour was nonetheless able to divert the ball into Cartwright’s net after a long, perfectly aimed pass from Ann Cove which drew more applause from spectators. Finally, Guirreh rounded it up to 5-0. After Cartwright had saved a shot from Hwang Kumchol and passed to defender James Dawson, Guirreh skilfully tackled the ball off Dawson within the penalty area and sent it flying upwards into the net, faster than Cartwright could reposition herself.

When the whistle was blown for the end of the match, Ariddian spectators were, understandably, in an excellent mood. As has become traditional, the Rouge-et-Noirs’ captain, Iol Et, swapped his shirt for that of his counterpart, and wore the Konoran green and black as he headed back to the changing rooms.

“It’s a good start,” Sanderson said afterwards. “But the Holy Empire have just won their game 7-1. That should be a reminder that we’re going to face some very tough competition.”


Searching for expatriates

Unfortunately, we have not been able to locate any Ariddian living in Konora. It appears the Ariddian presence there is nil. Likewise, there are virtually no Konorans in Ariddia. We found one, an old man of 87, born in Ariddia but whose grandmother immigrated from Konora. Mr. Jean-Michel Lechant is now retired, but was once the owner of a small countryside pub.

“No, I didn’t watch the match,” he tells us. “I didn’t even know Konora was playing. Maybe I’ll watch next time... I’m more into rugby, young man! There’s still a local rugby club right next to where I used to live. When is there going to be another Rugby World Cup, hmm? Can you tell me that? Football, indeed...”

Pizelkaxrovsky, Nerazzurri and Gn-Lg had all gotten together to watch the first full national level match without them. While they were all confident in believing that they had made the right decision in stepping down, none of them could really believe they weren't out there and wanted the support for the first game. They all had been fine for the friendlies, but as they welcomed Naleloospalakintula they were all incredibly nervous. It had been years since they had been spectators in Slimes Stadium.

As the team came out for the anthems they studied the squad with great interest. While many of the players out there were good friends of theirs, such as Kn-Dg and Ip-Gp who'd been around for the full ascension of the team, there were also plenty of names and faces mostly or totally unfamiliar to them. Looking down at the pitch there was a lot of sadness in the faces of all three men. Sadness of the emptiness they felt no longer recieving the praise of a nation, or in Pizelkaxrovsky's case the whole world. The sadness of never being able to bring triumph to their nation. And mostly the sadness of people looking back on their youth. Despite all three being incredibly happy with where they were there's always a magic that can't be appreciated until it's gone.

When the game was started off all three were able to quickly get into the flow of the game. When Kn-Dg punched in the first goal of the game in the 18th minute, they erupted in celebration just like the rest of the crowd. When the SoulElf scored in the 39th minute they shared in the joy of two nations proud of what they could accomplish in unison. And like the rest of the fans they had a laugh at the comical play of Naleloospalakintula that lead to SoulElf's second goal of the game.

But while in many ways they were regular fans, in there minds they weren't. While Zax-Im got back into coaching immediately after his career ended to fight off the trauma of his stabbing and Bub-Rub drew from his father's experience having retiring as the greatest Kleptochaser of all time, the three of them clearly needed more time. All three were expected to make there way back into the realm of football at some point none could do it now. In fact when Zax-Im called and invited them down to the locker room all three. Instead the three went out to dinner and talked about things totally unrelated to football.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/daehanjeiguk.pngDaehanjeiguk || 0 - 0 || Endmilehttp://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Endmile.png

http://www.football.co.uk/shared/images/news/player_profile_62132.jpg


This special presentation brought to you by MBC International Sports! Now to our hosts, Yi Hyori and Jo Myeongae.

李孝利: Well, it was a great show, but no points to keep these teams apart. The Imperial Team walks off with one draw at home, and they go away to Wehrmacher - who lost their first match. It was quite a day for upsets, but I'll let Jo take that story. First, it's to the pitch, and the two sides were at each others' necks for the whole match virtually. We had a few good chances, mostly by Kim Daeeui, but Endmile continued to press for pressure on us. It was impressire at times, with their lead striker making several critical gains, only to watch Kim Ho take some magnificent stabs at them. I mean, just look at that! The Endmile player goes up unopposed, neatly tips the ball just past Kim; Kim lunges back and taps the ball with his hand and stops the ball - isn't that just so amazing? That was perhaps the best chance for any goal in the game, and we do have to give credit to Endmile for making their chances work. But Kim Ho really is becoming a better goalie as this tour opens out. And because both sides were familiar to each other, it was really tough to separate the players after the match. It was a well-deserved draw, that hopefully won't happen the second time.

Now, Jo Myeongae will take you out to the other matches around the World. Jo?

趙明愛: Yes, well you said it earlier - today was a day of upsets. First, we'll start with the one in our own group. Demot losses to Casari. True, Casari are long time competitors in the sport, but no one really expected them to be in top form already. And Demot... it was a disappointing start already, but the scoreline was just phenomenal: 0-3 for Casari. The high expectation was that Demot would clear through this group, but given this staggering loss, it's widely now expected to be much more difficult than anticipated. Oliverry satisfied most people with their 2-1 victory over Wehrmacher - it wasn't a comfortable match, but the World Cup veterans have demonstrated that they are continuing their aim for the World Cup in style. Assegai Developments and Limbrogidlia - I don't know how these people come up with these names! It's just so awkward!

李孝利: You think you've got it easy? Let's just hope none of these guys actually score because saying the players' names is even worse.

趙明愛: Yeah, you're right. Well anyway, Assegai and Limmie also ended their match goalless. A lot of competition in Group 9 means for a rough qualification tour. In other groups, Ariddia takes away their opponents as expected with a 5-0 win over Konora. In the same group, The Holy Empire makes good work out of their opponents from Ambrose-Douglas. The two sides are probably set up for one classic qualifying showdown. In Group 3, Vilita started their tour on the bad foot, literally as they lose at home to WC debutants from Buoyancy on a slender score. It leaves watchers like us to wonder whether they can reach the World Cup again. The Elves in Group 2 also got to a good start, whipping their Audioslavian opponents 5-0. Kiryu-shi, after a horrible performance in the OFC, have started to turn things around with a comfortable 2-2 tie against Recluse Island in Group 5. It could have been a win, but it seems that the team still has some work to do before they get into peak performance. And among others, there was earlier rumors about "fixing" the scores for the WC Qualifiers by referees, but the WCC has come out quickly denouncing these rumors, saying further, "To claim the quality of play on these fields was affected by inappropriate interdictions is an insult to those winning teams and to the WCC. We cannot underestimate the playing quality of any team on any field."

Well, that's a wrap. I guess the next time we'll meet, we'll be seeing you from Wehrmacher! Thanks for joining us today!"

李孝利: And next week, we'll have an interview with Head Coach Cha Beomgeun. Now, here's your weekly "Learn Our Land" clip!

====LEARN OUR LAND====
=당신의 우리땅을 배우십시오=

Today's installment takes us to Gwangdong - a province of many contrasts and of many wealths. The province is a coastal province in the southern region of the Han Empire. By far, it is one of the largest populated territories in the Empire, and its capital of Gwangju is considered one of the most "foreign" in the Empire. The history of this venerable town began in the Monggol days. After the Monggols secured the Western Han territory, they turned Gwangju - then a small fishing village - into a resource and trade center, to combat the commercial influence of the native Han port in Bokju. Although they failed to make its influence lasting, the Myeong Dynasty continued to expand the port - making it their principal harbor of naval assets in the Southern Seas. This lasted until the Han Dynasty conquered Gwangju, then the last stronghold of the Myeong Dynasty. Under the Han Dynasty, the city began to welcome foreigners from abroad, increasing its trade wealth. In later years, it was customary for foreign expeditions to arrive through Gwangju to meet the Emperor, further demonstrating the commercial strength of the territory. One of the best qualities of the metropolitan area was the presence of a very large natural harbor, allowing a large capacity for naval traffic in and out of the area. The area was of course susceptible to storms, but the harbor was permissive in protecting the area from most direct assaults. It was also strategically defensible. During the 1769 War with Seopanya (Spain), the city was considered the primary military base, as the Imperial Fleet staged its rout of the Seopanya (Spanish) fleet and claimed the Jonam Islands as part of the rewards.

Its history has given the city and hence the province a characteristic of sophisticated modern living. More foreigners pass through Gwangju than any other city in the Empire. It holds more alien residents than any other city in the Empire, and yet the city is also one where you find the least expected industry: soybeans. Yes, soybeans. Gwangdong is one of the largest producers of soy beans in the Empire, because the climate is very conducive to their growth. So despite the urban living, the province also boasts some of the largest soy beans farms in the Empire, as well as rice farms and the obvious fishing industry. It just goes to show - sometimes the old can cope with the new.

Kelly Firth was in the players tunnel, being interviewed about her tactical choices, and a slip up by Peter Jeffers, the Bostopian goalie.

Meanwhile, the Bostopian squad were talking in the dressing room while getting undressed to shower after the match, while the crowd slowly filtered out of the “sky-blue stadium,” Ortega Field in Riikenberg.

[Flambriff] Pete, would you like to explain how the Tremarendakia striker scored?

[Jeffers] Well, urr, I had…urr, had a vision.

[Cripps] Ah, so you saw this light, and it told you to let them score?

[Jeffers] Hahaha, no.

[Marsh] Then what, mush?

Peter looked over to where Stuart Flambriff was sat, wearing a towel, about ready to get in the shower

[Jeffers] Of…urr…Hikfie in the dressing room.

[Flambriff] She’s never been in here!

[Jeffers] …you remember when I said I was doing a bit more training here last week?

[Flambriff - jumping up from his seat] AHH! God!

[Marsh] Get in there!

[Vale] He did!

[Flambriff] Coulda told me! Why my spot?

[Jeffers] Well I sit on the end don’t I, kept hitting myself orf the door handle didn’t I!

[Flambriff] How’d you manage that – actually, no, don’t. Just don’t go over-exerting yourself before the Vilita game, right?

[Jeffers] I ain’t promising nuffin’.

Peter’s phone rings

[Jeffers] ‘Allo? Alright Hikfie darlin! How are ya? On the scooter you say? Doin’ what with the what what?...let me just leave the room.

TVs across the world see Peter walk across the front of the camera stark naked, while talking on his phone, interrupting the interview with Kelly

[Reanfeld] …well, the players not only follow her tactics, they follow her lifestyle choices too.

[Firth] Well, man-management is as important as tactical management!

[Reanfeld] Especially seeing as you’ve got two in the house to look after! Must have been wonderful having a baby girl though?

[Firth] Oh it is. I love her as much as I do my son, but she’s still really special. Dazza’s already spoken about taking Evaline clothes shopping when she’s a little older, though I’m happy with Dazza being a godmother at the moment rather than “official fashion expert to Jenna” as well!

The Crimson Blade
Blackout Not Pleased

Moments after Assegai Developments had played to a scoreless draw against relative unknowns Limbrogidlia, Assegai manager Blackout expressed his displeasure with the result of the match.

Despite outshooting Limbrogidlia 21-2 and keeping them penned in their half of the field throughout most of the game, Assegai was unable to get on the scoreboard, despite having scored two goals that were disallowed in controversial fashion.

Assegai forward Samantha Neesa appeared to have put her team ahead in the 15th minute when she shook off her defender and beat Limbrogidlia keeper Manuit Ernuit. However, the referee disallowed the goal, declaring that Neesa had fouled her defender although it was clear that the defender was tugging on her jersey.

Then, in the 89th minute, midfielder Fleur Delacour lined up a free kick from just outside the box and curled in a shot. However, the referee also disallowed this goal, saying that there had been a foul in the scrum of players as the shot was taken.

Despite the pleas of the Assegai players, the referee maintained his call and even gave Delacour a yellow card caution for dissent.

“Tonight’s match was a farse,” growled Blackout in a press conference held on the field after the match. “We should have clearly won this match but the referee didn’t see it that way. He ruined what should have been a great start for our team in this qualifying phase and I am not pleased. Limbrogidlia was overmatched from the start, and for them to walk out of Cathedral Park with a draw is an insult to our team and supporters.”

Assegai players were unavailable for comment after the match, and they ignored media requests for quotes as they boarded Blackout en route to their training facility later that night.

-----
[33] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.png Assegai Developments 0

[UK] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/limbrogidlia.png Limbrogidlia 0

[AD] None
[LIM] None
[YC] AD-Fleur Delacour (89’) [RC] None
Venue: Cathedral Park (Attendance: 75,000) | Leá Monde, Assegai Developments

Mikaela Eyre Reporting

TAESHAN TIMES
Taeshan Beats Up The HURD
3 -1 purple knights beat up the Hurd in the Hurd. Zeke scored the first knights goal of there first cup campaign just two minutes into the game. Then a Hurd striker scored on Taeshan's All-star goalie Ted Montague. Later in the match Brian Ying Uing the young knights middie scored. Finnaly with just seconds to go Zeke speeded by the Hurds D and scored again

OOC: since no one ranted about this format in the U21 let's use it for real:

From the blog: Everything has changed:

Lutricia Lectric?
Ain't that just the way
that life goes down, down, down, down
we're moving erratic and too slow,
Gettin' up, gettin' high, gettin' down
Gettin' no, no, nowhere
Just not gettin' into something we should know...

With apologies to Lutricia McNeal


Yeah, the HURD lost against Taeshan. While I was npot physically present, I did watch the webcasts. What can I say? Maybe quote the Peanuts: "We always lose the first game of the season and we always lose the last game of the season - and every match inbetween." Or I could quote Verenx from Karela Veran: "Sometimes we lose, sometimes others win!" and from the same person: "Against such a team like us, even we would have won!" The GNUs were buggy, erratically or just broken. konqueror was having version-conflicts and firefox too few RAM from what I have heard and so the HURDists once again fscked things up royally. To quote one of the programmers: "Any questions before I go and shoot myself?"

The Angry Dragon
The Butcher is Pissed Off

Gorgol “The Butcher” Harad didn’t wait until his team had entered the tunnel, when he ripped up the bench and hurled it onto the field in the direction of the referees. The referees scurried off the field as The Butcher let out a ferocious scream and smashed his fist into the ground, leaving a sizeable crater.

“Those bastards robbed us!” screamed The Butcher. “This match was fixed!”

Meanwhile, the bruised and bloody members of Swilatia’s team slowly limped off the field, some of them being dragged off. Although the home team had won the match, 2-1, it was clear that Turruth Gordur had literally beaten them from start to finish.

Forward Draco Glaurung put Turruth Gordur ahead in the 17th minute, when he barreled his way through three defenders and muscled the ball past the diving keeper. It seemed the lead would hold up, but late in the game, Swilatia was awarded two penalty kicks on very controversial calls. In fact, adding to the intrigue, the referee signaled the end of the match mere seconds after Swilatia scored their second goal, although less than a minute of injury time had been played.

“The hatred and anger that is burning inside would set the world on fire right now,” growled The Butcher in a press conference. “We’re a much stronger, faster and overall better team that those maggots. Who the hell are they anyway? We were never even given a press kit. I assure you, however, that Swilatia will fear the day they have to visit Turruth Gordur. We will rip them asunder!”

Despite his manager’s anger, Glaurung was as stern as always. “Good teams play through bad officiating and win,” he said. “We were unable to do so tonight, and it cost us. We cannot afford to let this happen again, especially against a bunch of nobodies like Swilatia. Hopefully, we can turn it around against Recluse Island.”

Match Report

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/swilatia.png [UK] Swilatia 2 = 1 Turruth Gordur [44] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/turruth_gordur.png
SWI: ??? ??? (80’ PK, 89’ PK)
TG: Draco Glaurung (17’)
Y: None, R: None
Venue: Unknown (Capacity: Unknown) | Swilatia

© The Angry Dragon

La storia si ripete

Coach Tahn H~sii-La was criticized after the opening loss against Uiri on home ground. The Na~ovi Nanti has managed to get an interview with him to understand his view on the World cup, Uiri and the last match.

NN: Hejida H~ii-La'he. At the moment everybody who has a mouth seems to speak out against you. Is that something you can understand?
TH-L: I can understand that the general public expected more from this match, but I am very sorry that things have not worked out like they should. We should have done better and that includes my decisions as well. I am no seleken who'd become a conspiracy theory believer because of that. I knew that I had to eat dirt the second Uiri scored.
NN: Lhi was seen as one of the weakest points in the team. And people wondered why this inexperienced player was called up at all into the national team at all. What do you say about the accusations of nepotism?
TH-L: Such a strong word on such an early morning... I can not say that I am unbiased, no one is. Hexen [Note: he means Hexen Imdila, the editor] always promted nearly entirely Minokajetians even though top players like Xaha Reve and Sete Aki were available. What I mean is that everyone has a certain view to the world and this is always a distortion. I chose Lhi-ka Tva~o due to perceived talent and I am sure she will live up to these expectations.
NN: What is your vision of rejistani soccer?
TH-L: We need to promote soccer we need to emphasize its importance more. We are no longer one country but we are one H1SR. If we ever want unity it will not happen without a united league.
NN: you are exaggerating...
TH-L: No, you can see the Hematiki-study from the university of KaMaRi on this subject for example: the amount of splitting and regional independence movement correlated negatively with the amount of high-league teams in the area. away games are idea to prevent the status from splitting.
NN: I see your point. What are your predictions abpit the next game?
TH-L: SyLy once had a good quote for that. My I refer you to that one?
NN: "Win, draw, or loss- for either team", is that what you are referring to?
TH-L: no, i mean "things can only get better".

UIR SPOR TALAVISIN

32:07-32:56
Corner kick by Uiri and its Ederat to take it. Here comes the kick and Okudil headbutt's it in to the net. It's a goal!

90:00
Geese win 1-0 in Rejistania against Rejistania! The team goes wild.

After the Game:

H: Hello, Mr. Ederat, may I have a word with you?

E: Sure, what do you want to know?

H: How did it feel when you kicked the ball?

E: It was a good strong kick. I watched the ball soar and saw Okudil head it towards the net and the Goalie missed it and that's when we all partied right in front of the net. Not bad for our first Away Game in the Tournament if I do say so myself.

H: What do you think about tomorrow's match?

E: I'm not nervous. After one win we can pull off another.

H: Thank you for your time.

E: No problem, I can do it any time.

Merano Regency: Sports
The Zwangzug national football team began its qualification attempt for World Cup 37 with a 2-1 victory over Central Prestonia. The game got off to an exciting start in the tenth minute as Simon Ryne Olson received a pass from Roger Hammers; however, his shot on goal was fatally flawed through a futile attempt at fancy footwork. Fortunately, Phillip Stings headed it in.

After that, the game slowed down, punctuated by moments such as a compactly-built Prestonian defender nearly being run over by Peter Vanderpent in his first appearance, and a handball called on Jacob Barons in the thirty-ninth minute. As the first half finished, it was 1-0 Zwangzug.

The teams switched halves of the field: the wind blew perpendicular to the "long way" across the field, however, so it made little difference. Central Prestonia equalized early on a shot from a midfielder that caught a disoriented Bartholomew Hanson off guard, but Vanderpent retook the lead for Zwangzug on a pass from Steven Ruck.

As the game wound down, Zwangzug coach Doodypants Mcgimpy substituted in many new players. It could easily have been construed as offensive to the Central Prestonians ("even our substitutes can hold a lead against you"), but Mcgimpy denied such allegations. "These players have never played before, not on this level," he said after the game. "I wanted only to introduce them."

Forward Preston Liebersbach, in for Stings, was clearly excited to be there. "It's astonishing. I'm very lucky to have this opportunity."

And the curious fact that his first name matches the opposition?

"What? Huh? Oh...cool! I didn't notice that."

Meanwhile, the infamous "Fire Ants" of Northern Bettia beat debutants Minilla Island 6-1. They will host Zwangzug next.

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 37 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VICTORIOUS START AT HOME

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/6893/5728601081gawo9.jpg
Souza heads to score the second goal of the game

And that’s it. The return of Cafundéu to the World Cup qualifiers. Placed in group eight, the Monopolists now need to finish at least in the second place of the group to qualify directly to the World Cup. After a good campaign in the last Cup, playing at home, the supporters are expecting another good performance of the team, and nearly filled the stadium to see the first game against New Brittonia. With a much better team, the supporters waited for an easy game.

In the end, the team could win the game. But the result wasn’t the expected by the fans, but sufficient for the Monopolists, who get three important points. The game, played at night, didn’t have many good offensive attacks, but the midfielders of both teams were able to show some of their skills. Cafundéu had to use its defenders to score goals, using the help of the creative midfield and the tactics of Franz Braddock.

THE GAME

Cafundéu’s team entered in the field confident and ready to take the control of the game. But New Brittonia, in the first minutes of the game, showed a lot of skill and had the first good chance of the goal. A midfielder invaded the area and shot, obligating Lauro to make a good save. But, minutes after, Cafundéu replied with a much better attack. Anormal sent the ball to Rato in the attack, who used his speed to dribble and opponent. He passed the ball to Heitor, who saw Léo Mattos in a good position and passed the ball to him. The full-back shot and scored the first goal of the game. Read Breno Gavião:

“Toninho passes the ball to Anorrrrrmal, who can starrrrrt an attack now. Holds the ball, looks to his options. Long pass to Rrrrrato, who rrrrruns to the attack... good drrrrribble, passes the ball, it ends with Léo Mattos, he will shoot... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Look it again in the rrrrreplay! Léo Mattos, number two! Now the rrrrresult is Cafundéu one, New Brrrrrittonia zerrrrro! Need to eliminate those irrrrrrrritating insects? Use Mata-Bicho, Bayard’s insecticide!”

After scoring the first goal, Cafundéu tried to start to press the opponent, with one attack after another. But the Monopolists’ attackers weren’t in a good day, and lost many balls, missing some good chances. In one of them, Tales invaded the area and shot. Heitor appeared in front of the ball and it hit his chest. New Brittonia even had a chance with one of its wingers, but he stepped over the ball and fell on the ground, injuring his rib, being substituted.

With both teams failing in taking advantage of the opportunities, most of the game action of the first half happened in the midfield, where the duel between the defensive and the offensive midfielders entertained the supporters. Sometimes the ball reached the attack, but the chance was generally missed. But, when the referee was about to end the first half, a defender scored. Léo Mattos received the ball from Anormal and crossed it to the area. Souza, a player who doesn’t score many goals, jumped to head the ball, scoring the goal.

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/5329/5828490130gaxo6.jpg
Léo Mattos commemorates first goal

Winning the game, Braddock didn’t want to make any changes in the team for the second half, mantaining the strategy. New Brittonia seemed different, but in the first minutes suffered a bit. Cafundéu had three good attacks in the first ten minutes, but the goalkeeper worked well and counted with some look to avoid suffering more goals. Time was passing, and the visitors started to improve. The hosts couldn’t dominate the ball possession like they did in the first minutes.

Facing that situation, Braddock made two changes in the team, adding a defensive midfielder and putting a more experienced play creator in the game. But the substitutions didn’t have time to change something in the team. Minutes after, Rato lost the ball in the midfield and an attacker of New Brittonia started an incredible play, dribbling two opponents before scoring his team’s goal, which worried some of the supporters. Read Breno Gavião:

“Ball in the midfield. Verrrrrgarrrrra passes the ball to Rrrrrato, who faces an opponent. Trrrrries the drrrrribble and... loses the ball. Fast pass to the attacker, who goes to Cafundéu’s arrrrrea. Drrrrribbles Toninho, now faces Eduardo Monte... another drrrrribble, shoots... and it’s a goal. Goal for New Brrrrrittonia! Now New Brrrrrittonia one, Cafundéu two! Eat well at Pizzarias Terra Nova, with rodízios of ten vintéms, one of the cheapest of Cafundó do Juta!”

The offensive strategy of Cafundéu wasn’t working very well, so Braddock decided that keeping the victory was the best thing to do, but he tried to prepare the team to score one more goal, putting Tramontina in the game. It didn’t work. The defence could hold the opponents well during the remaining of the game, while the Monopolists’ counterattacks weren’t strong enough to give a better advantage to the home team.

AFTER THE GAME

When the game finished, it was time for the media to run after some interviews. The first to talk, as ever, was the coach of the National Team, now Franz Braddock. Happy with the performance in his return, he said: “We won, isn’t this sufficient? I know that this wasn’t a show, but we were able to get the three points, and is this what I expected from my players. I’m sure that, with some time, they’ll learn to play better under my command.”

Anormal, one of the most experienced players of the team said: “It’s good to see Braddock back, he is a good tactician. We didn’t show all our ability, but at least we got the victory.” The defender Souza, who scored the second goal of the team in the game, said to the reporters: “Normally I don’t score goals, so this is a special moment for me. It’s nice to be able to help the team, our attackers didn’t have a good day today, so we, defenders, needed to help.”

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/5493/semttulojp1.jpg
Franz Braddock in his return to the National Team

CAFUNDÉU 2x1 NEW BRITTONIA

Place: Praça Maior, in Cafundó do Juta.
Attendance: 178,877 people.
Referee: Terry Fixitroft (Bostopia).
MOTM: Léo Mattos (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Lauro; Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Rato and Neto (Dário 65’); Tales (Vergara 65’), Heitor and Flecha (Tramontina 78’).
Coach: Franz Braddock.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/new_brittonia.png NEW BRITTONIA: no team released.

Goals:CAF: Léo Mattos 11’ , Souza 45’+.
NBR: Attacker 69’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Miroxia: Lauro; Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Rato and Neto; Tales, Heitor and Flecha.
Coach: Franz Braddock.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Emiliano Pelenghi (St Samuel).

News items from the Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo) Examiner On-Line Edition:

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/examiner.gif

BOOBOOKS IMMOBILISE MOBILES

Mobile telephone reception in Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo) has been severely disrupted as boobook owls have taken to nesting in the relay towers around the village. A delegation of animal linguists (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Animal_Languages) from the McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge) Polytechnic will be arriving on Monday to hold a conference with the birds in the hope of finding a solution to the problem.

Winner of the recent bloodsucking competition (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera#Bloodsucking), carneck, spoke for most Fannies. “It’s great to see the owls giving our village their stamp of approval but it means we haven’t been able to watch some of the World Cup matches on our mobile phones. Luckily the Potoroos (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad)’ match against Nebuleux (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=Nebuleux) was shown on the village screen so everyone got to see it. And that’s the most important thing. The Mayor (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera#Mayors_and_Magistrates) says she has asked PINA (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/PINA) if they can arrange a broadcast of some of the other matches on our village screen.”

RIPPER PINGED THIRD TIME

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/ipieomenicu2.png

Rugged Bola Mine (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Bola_Mine) defender ipieomenicu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ipieomenicu) received his third international red card today in the qualifying match against Nebuleux (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=Nebuleux) when his elbow caught the attention of the Nebuleux captain’s eye (literally) and the referee’s eye (figuratively). The Ripper, as he is affectionately called, will miss the next three matches in one of the most severe penalties ever handed down to an Errinundrian (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) player. Despite being one of the best players on the ground until receiving the card, the suspension means that he is ineligible for leighm medal votes for the match.

In a press conference after the match, coach of the Potoroos (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad), the angelic genderqueer rosaniel (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rosaniel), was tight-lipped about the penalty but was more forthcoming about his place in the side. “For sure he is a big boy but, if he applies himself, he has the potential to be one of the superstars of the team. Nevertheless, he needs to know that he isn’t irreplaceable. It’s up to him if he wants a future in international football.”

LOCAL STAR LEADS WAY IN POTOROO OPENER

Fanny Moo’s (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo) own international star, aptai, played an outstanding game in the midfield as the Potoroos (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad) began their World Cup campaign with an emphatic win against Nebuleux (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=Nebuleux). Errinundera’s (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) midfield engine room completely dominated the game, giving the strikers many opportunities and making life easy for the defence. Paradoxically, the only goal by the visitors came about from a midfield blemish – a penalty shot on goal in the 77th minute as a result of ipieomenicu’s (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ipieomenicu) misdemeanour. scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu), scoring two brilliant goals from avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou) corner kicks, is back to the brilliant form she showed prior to her series of knee injuries, while avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou) played fluidly all day, scoring a goal of his own in the second half.


TEAM SELECTION FOR THE MATCH AGAINST QUAKMYBUSH

Forwards: scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu), breretond (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Breretond), avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou), immelfar (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Immelfar) (sub)
Midfielders: agloir (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Agloir) (dvc), aptai, henyua, catsuku (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Catsuku), iribu (sub)
Backs: aryayre (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Aryayre), ikasa, froesu, eboshiadu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Eboshiadu) (sub)
Keeper: onito (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Onito) (c), readnough (sub)

Out: ipieomenicu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ipieomenicu) (suspended), haimaidu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Haimaidu) (knock to knee)
In: iribu, eboshiadu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Eboshiadu)

Venue: Somewhere in Quakmybush (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Quakmybush)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 4
(scerberu (http://http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) 25 & 29, breretond (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Breretond) 43, avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou) 67)
(leighm medal votes: aptai 3, scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) 2, avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou) 1)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Nebuleux.png
Nebuleux 1
(Someone 77)

Errinundera's WC37 scorers:
scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) 2
avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou) 1
breretond (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Breretond) 1

leighm medal tally:
aptai 3
scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) 2
avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou) 1

Midnight. Inside the Landau Institute. Two doctors (Doctor Luís Mello and Doctor Lara Estradas) talk at the Doctors' Meeting Room:

DR. ESTRADAS - "So, are you disappointed with our team's result today?"

DR. MELLO - "Result? Of what game? I didn't know that the National League had started, I thought that we were still at the transfer window, and that the championship would only start next month..."

DR. ESTRADAS - "No, you fool! I'm talking about the National Team... you know what it is, don't you? It's the team of doctors selected by Doctor Landau, which represents the whole country!"

DR. MELLO - "Yes, I know what it is. But why are you talking about the National Team?"

DR. ESTRADAS - "Are you kidding, right? They played today, here, inside the Institute, in the Sector-Delta Sporting Field! I watched the game at the video room, it was filled with patients and with some of our friends! You weren't there, but I thought that you were watching the game at another place."

DR. MELLO - "The National Team played today? I didn't know it!"

DR. ESTRADAS - "You can't be serious, you lost the first game of Estresse Intenso in the World Cup thirty-seven qualifiers! We're looking to reach the World Cup for the second time in our history!"

DR. MELLO - "I can't believe that I lost the game... I was expecting to see it... one of my greatest friends, Doctor Selic, is playing for the National Team... he is a very talented player..."

DR. ESTRADAS - "Yes, I know."

DR. MELLO - "Now I'm angry with myself. I didn't watch the game! Didn't watch the first game of my friend with the shirt of the National Team!"

DR. ESTRADAS - "Well, Selic didn't play today. He stayed at the bench during the whole game. The Machine didn't even look at him."

DR. MELLO - "That makes me feel a bit better. So, did you like the game?"

DR. ESTRADAS - "Of course not! We were playing at home, with some new and good players, motivated for the first game... and we didn't win!"

DR. MELLO - "Which was the result?"

DR. ESTRADAS - "One to one. A draw with Kansiov."

DR. MELLO - "With who?"

DR. ESTRADAS - "Kansiov."

DR. MELLO - "Who?"

DR. ESTRADAS - "You heard me."

DR. MELLO - "I heard Kaisiof... I never heard of a nation with this name."

DR. ESTRADAS - "Are you deaf? I didn't say Kaisiof, I said Kansiov!"

DR. MELLO - "Okay, stay calm, Lara. So, did we play well."

DR. ESTRADAS - "I already said to you that it wasn't a good game, so, no. We played badly, and couldn't defeat them."

DR. MELLO - "At least we didn't lose."

DR. ESTRADAS - "Luís, nothing will change the fact that we should have won this game. So, I'm frustrated with the result, playing at home."

DR. MELLO - "Who scored the goal for us?"

DR. ESTRADAS - "Zetti."

DR. MELLO - "I like him. He says hello to me when we met at the corridors."

DR. ESTRADAS - "He does the same with me."

DR. MELLO - "How nice."

DR. ESTRADAS - "Can I ask you a question?"

DR. MELLO - "You can ask two if you want so."

DR. ESTRADAS - "No, just want to ask you one. What were you doing at the time of the game?"

DR. MELLO - "At which time was it?"

DR. ESTRADAS - "At half past eight."

DR. MELLO - "Well, I was cooking."

DR. ESTRADAS - "Cooking?"

DR. MELLO - "Yes, cooking. What's the problem?"

DR. ESTRADAS - "No problem, of course. I didn't know that you could cook. What were you doing?"

DR. MELLO - "A lemon pie."

DR. ESTRADAS - "I love it! Can I get at least a piece?"

DR. MELLO - "Maybe tomorrow. Now it's in the freezer."

DR. ESTRADAS - "Oh, surely. It's for a special occasion?"

DR. MELLO - "Special, but not good. My mother-in-law will visit my wife and me tomorrow, and I'll have to prepare a special lunch for us."

DR. ESTRADAS - "Your mother-in-law will visit you? Oh, my God, I feel sad for you."

DR. MELLO - "Yes, you should. That woman is a snake, I hate her. She complains about everything. But my wife says: "It's her style. She likes you." But I know that she hates me. She would prefer to see me dead. But my wife says: "Come on, respect her. She is so old." And, in the end, I have to cook for her!"

DR. ESTRADAS - "Sounds like a punishment for me."

DR. MELLO - "It surely is. I'm already fearing tomorrow. My mother-in-law... here... and I still have to prepare the chicken..."

DR. ESTRADAS - "I'm sorry for you. It seems that you need to rest, tomorrow you'll have a difficult day. I'm going. Bye."

DR. MELLO - "Bye."

Kiryu-shi Suffers Opening Week Setback

By Rebecca Doig

Sakaino, Kiryu-shi Perhaps Kiryu-shi came into the match looking forward to some of the bigger names on the schedule. Perhaps they were a bit rusty from the lack of friendlies. Perhaps they were still partly reeling from the embarrassment at the Oriental Cup. Whatever the reason, the Kiryu-shi football team did not get off to a good start to kick of their World Cup 37 qualification attempt. With a two-two tie in front of their home crowd against a team that had just mediocre success in the Baptism of Fire, Recluse Island, Kiryu-shi has put themselves in a bad position. Kiryu-shi was expected to dominate the game, and shut down the brand new team, but Kiryu-shi played very sloppy football and clearly underestimated the desire of their opponents.

____Recluse Island fielded a four-four-two formation, with the young, inexperienced Giovanni Prosperi in goal, replacing the disappointing veteran Steven Tilovski. Kiryu-shi meanwhile, came out with their standard formation, a five-four-one wing based formation. Kiryu-shi, under the leadership of head coach Bruce Lewis looked very solid to start the match. In the 6th minute, a good combination of passing found Isaac Levi streaking down the sideline with the ball. He beat one of the Newland twins and passed the ball into Garret McGee in front of the net. Francis Diarra came in hard on McGee, but mistimed the tackle, and McGee was able to step around him and make a beautiful lob shot over the charging Prosperi. Kiryu-shi looked very confident throughout the first half, but they couldn’t convert any more of their numerous chances. McGee missed a few more shots, and was replaced by Emily Boyle at halftime as he looked like he was slowing down. Boyle, however, looked very good in place of McGee. In the 58th minute, she gathered a loose ball following a goal kick from Jon Crow and used her fresh legs to burn past Aaron Carle and Nick Vujacic in a beautiful display of speed and knocked the ball past the keeper to put Kiryu-shi up two nil. They looked like they were in the midst of a dominating victory, and Bruce Lewis took out a tiring Bob Moya and Mathew Pruet for Orson Wells and Martin Jones, in the 60th and 64th minute. However, this strategy backfired. Recluse Island, who does have the capability to put up goals, brought up multiple players to the front line to attack. And attack they did. In the 68th minute, Aaron Carle raced up field from defense, and no one picked him up. Midfielder Turo spotted the defender, and from the right wing, knocked a great cross, and Carle tipped it past Crow using his head. All of a sudden, the it was a one goal game. Recluse Island, seemingly encouraged by their goal, became more and more aggressive. It was all Kiryu-shi could do to block shot after shot in the final ten minutes or so. Finally, in the 89th minute, with most of the Kiryu-shi team tired and on defense, Jose Pedro dos Santos Neto brought the ball up, virtually unchallenged, and made an excellent shot, off the post and past Jon Crow to score the equalizing goal. It was a demoralizing tie for Kiryu-shi, and they will have to work hard to rebound from it in their challenging group.

____They will move on to face the team from the Unified Capitalizt States, who are clear favorites to move on in the group, ranked second in the world. They are coming off a dominating four nothing win over the mice from Miceland, and are favored to win coming into Kiryu-shi. The other favorite in group five, Squornshelous, won a tough and physical game against the Viking team, and in another seriously physical match, Swilatia barely survived a two one win over Turruth Gordor. The group is very intimidating with the rough teams like Turruth Gordor and Vikingholm. Kiryu-shi might dig themselves deep hole in their next match, and they will have to play very well against some really challenging opponents to remain in the running for the World Cup.

Host Announcement

Matchday Two scores are now UP (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13053689&postcount=5).

Naleloospalakintula 2 - 3 Sel Appa

Summary:
Naleloospalakintula has the kickoff, with the ball at Eocemen Merceradha's feet. He goes for the wing, trying to get around the Sel Appan defense. He is able to get quite deep and slips past Carly Rengel, but shoots far too wide. A throw-in is taken by Mohammed al-Jafari to Dzeighcymn Ghotiolo. He runs to the centreline and passes the ball to Miquelinho, who stumbles and then tackled by Poul Johannes. Johannes passes to Mus Thalme, who sets up Dhebethe Sybale for an excellent shot that goes straight into the corner of the net.

Samantha Sitran passes to Miquelinho at the kickoff and he leads an attack on Naleloospalakintula. The defense is ready to stop him and succeeds. Erladha Curen passes to Bjoern Mikkel, who tries to pass to Eocemen Merceradha, but it is intercepted by Arthur Mercator V. He quickly passes to Karl Gepardo, who delivers the ball to Miquelinho for the equalizer. Severin Frederik thought he had it, but it just went out of reach. Naleloospalakintula prepares an attack to try and regain their lead, but are met by a heavy Sel Appan defense. The two forwards lose possession and the Turtles ready a counterattack. Dzheighcymn Ghotiolo is backed up by Gepardo, but Frederik knocks it away for a corner.

Miquelinho takes the corner, but Frederik is ready to punch the ball away. Eocemen Merceradha catches the ball and dribbles it towards the Sel Appan goal as the midfielders close in on him. He shoots just as Nikole Barr gets in the way and the Sel Appan keep is able to deflect the shot with his bare hand. Merceradha is in position for another shot and takes it forcing Mongke Bokegalbaatar to concede a corner. Sybale takes the corner, but misses his mark. Sel Appa gets possession and sets up an attack, with Ghotiolo at the helm. Ghotiolo sneaks past the defense to shoot and it slips right through Frederik's legs. He looks behind him to see the ball ricocheting a bit from the net.

The kickoff sets up an attack that is halted midfield. Colin Patette passes to Michael Ebe, who collides with Sitran. Ebe is knocked out and play is stopped. Ebe is substituted with Miroc Szwtrz and is given medical attention. Play resumes with a free kick for Sel Appa. The kick leads to nothing, but a back and forth lasts several minutes in the centrefield. Naleloospalekintula gets an advantage and presses it. Szwtrz tries to stop Mikkel with a bad tackle that results in a card. Mikkel is unable to get up by himself and requests a substitute. He is replaced by Hrothgar Tryggvi. Tryggvi starts the free kick, but the whistle blows with a minute and a half of stoppage.

Half Time

Miquelinho leads the kickoff with a deep penetration into the Naleloospalekintula defense. His shot is too nervous and goes just over the crossbar. A goal kick starts up a solid Naleloospalekintula attack that stumbles and Eocemen Merceradha is forced to let the ball out of bounds. Colin Patette has the throw-in and Samantha Sitran receives it. She leads the ball to the goal, shoots and it bounces off the post into the keep's hands. He throws it to Hans Gunne, who passes it on to Mus Thalme. A pass further upfield is intercepted by Ghotiolo, who commences his own attack. He gets into the box and is fouled badly by Erladha Curen. The referee arrives holding up a yellow card and makes the penalty signal. Ghotiolo prepares his shot and converts it: Sel Appa is ahead by two.

The kickoff sees a long back and forth, from which neither can gain any advantage. Mercator knocks it outside and Reaborn Ropardh takes the throw-in. An attack forms, but Nikole Barr is able to thwart it and start a counter attack. She runs the ball deep and passes to Samantha Sitran. Sitran tries to curve the ball into the net, but it's too narrow. A goal kick is unable to get a new attack started. Miquelinho intercepts a pass and sends it almost perfectly into the net, but Frederik is able te deflect it. The flag goes up, signalling a corner.

Miquelinho takes the corner and Sitran is ready to send it in, but she misses. The keep punts it down the field and it bounces up into the crossbar and back out for the defenders to get it. They send it back to the centrefield, where Ghotiolo tries to evade the opposing strikers. He loses control of the ball while trying to keep his balance. Hrothgar Tryggvi gets the ball and passes it to Elbardh. Elbardh runs it in and shoots, but Bokegalbaatar is ready. He slaps it back out, mistakenly towards Elbardh who is in the perfect position to score and drives the ball home. Naleloospalekintula etches out an extra goal to narrow their deficit.

The kickoff sees a deep attack by Karl Gepardo. He swerves and lobs the ball in, but it's just wide. Frederik throws the ball to Elhaayn Lehaauna, who tries to send it further. The ball is intercepted, but Sel Appan possession does not last long. Both sides begin to retreat into defensive positions, figuring no more gains can be made. The whistle blows with the ball exactly in the centre, after only 30 seconds of stoppage time.

Goals:
Sybale 9'
Miquelinho 11'
Ghotiolo 30', 58'
Elbardh 82'

Cards:
Szwtrz 44' http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b1/Yellow_card.svg/10px-Yellow_card.svg.png
Curen 56' http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b1/Yellow_card.svg/10px-Yellow_card.svg.png

Substitutions:
Ebe --> Szwtrz 32'
Mikkel --> Tryggvi 45'

Fans awestruck as the purple knights of taeshan lose there first home game 1-0 in atlantea stadium

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Yelled Ty as he came into the locker with the rest of the Pheonix.
"That was awesome, except for when they started throwing toilet paper at us, but 4-0 at Kelssek?" answered Yuzuki Haraguchi.
"Yeah, but we won, who cares what they trwow at us" Ty replied.

"SHUT IT DOWN NOW, YOU'D THINK YOU'VE WON THE CUP!" Bellowed Jason Fowler. "Yes we won, 4-0, but that still doesn't make up for the fact we lost to that Rasti place last week. But I'm a man of my word, no practice tommorrow" Upon hearing that the locker room erupted in another bout of whooping and hollering. "SHUT UP! Ok now, time for game balls: 1st to Greg Holden with his 2 goals, good job Greg. 2nd to Jon Serra, you did good starting for Freel, who is now out of the hospital from that nasty virus he caught during the layover in Prux. and 3rd game ball goes to Haraguchi. You did great out there, espcially since it was your debut. Good news also, the doc says that Zane's ankle is merely sprained not broken. Ok next up is Candelaria and Marquez back home. I expect you all to have a better game this time around. Ty, I wanna speak with you for a second. The rest of you i want you showered and dressed, the plane leaves in 2 hours."

'Oh Crap' mumbled Ty as he went with the coach.


GOALS:
Qazox:
Fry: 15'
Richter: 37'
Holden: 69'
Holden (PK) 85'


NsWiki for Qualifers: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Qazox_at_World_Cup_37_Qualifing

PRUXTON PRESS

So Long, Farewell and Good-bye

The home opener against Cookesland went so well a 3-0 win for the Prawns, that Cookesland was heard to mutter the words above upon leaving the pitch. The reasons why?

So Long: 007's 2 goals were from over 25 yards out, easily zooming past Damien Vasquese of the Blue Owls.

Fare(d)well: Red Herring wore noseplugs, just in case any Sativavillian decied to make the trip down to Prux. He stopped all 7 shots for his 3rd carrer shut-out.

Good-Bye: Damien Vasquese was pulled in the 56th minute after giving up a goal to The Sphinx on a direct kick.

007 had this to say about his near-hat trick:
I was shaken not stirred on that foul, but the Coach decided to let the Sphinx get take the shot, even though I've got a licence to score, I think that not being the sole focus of the opposition's defense will help the team defeat it's enemies.

Prux' Scoring this match:
007: 30'
007: 42'
The Sphinx: 56'

Prux' Overall scoring:
007: 2
The Sphinx: 1

A great start at home as the Prawns seek to continue the winning against fellow BoFer The Crescent Republic, Tickets are sold out as of this writing, but possibly standing room seats will be available at 10 am, when the gates open.

Extermination

In one of the most predictable results of the second round of qualifying matches, Squornshelous came out with a very strong, very attack-minded gameplan against Miceland and absolutely blew them away in front of a crowd of, well, mice. It is certainly an odd experience for humans to travel to Miceland, but if you have to make the trip, we highly recommend doing it on the right side of a four goal margin.

Squornshelous utterly dominated play for the vast majority of the match, keeping nearly 70% of the possession and taking 13 shots to Miceland's 5. The Pschychoes held this advantage in play nearly from the first minute, with Dmitri Polokov testing the Marauders', as the Micelandic team is called, keeper, David BreadMouse for the first time after just four minutes. Not long after, Mikkula Kuivalainen recieved a pass from Viggo Haakana, who has moved into a starting spot, replacing the injured Anton Gulbrand. He quickly worked his way forward, being behind the midfield. The defense dropped back before him to cover the dangerous Squornshelan attackers, and Kuivalainen took careful aim, taking advantage of the space they'd left him. His beautifully curling shot found the top corner and it was one-nil at eleven minutes.

Sensing vulnerability, the Pschychoes pressed the attack after regaining possession following the next kickoff. On the subsequent attack, the Marauders showed a more aggressive tendancy, showing they could learn and adjust quickly. However, their adjustment wasn't perfectly planned, and somehow Roman Svoboda was left unmarked at the corner of the penalty area. Two defenders had been attempting to put pressure on Martti Uolevi, but he was able to drop the ball to Caj Ilmari, who found Svoboda. Svoboda made one touch to settle the ball before launching a shot no goalkeeper in the world could have touched, let alone saved.

The rest of the first half went by with Miceland adjusting to the tactics used on previous Squornshelan attacks, and with the Pschychoes finding ways to exploit the adjustments. Miceland played a very good match mentally, but were just outclassed by too large a margin on the field. On the next attack, the defense was more evenly spread, not allowing anyone to move too far into space, but Uolevi made a quick outside-inside move to open space for a shot that slipped by the tips of BreadMouse's paws. Ilmari scored the fourth goal just before the half when the defenders, playing special attention to the forwards who had been ripping them, left him too much space to the outside. He started a run and recieved a good ball from Kuivalainen. His shot, from a low angle, richochetted into the net off the leg of BreadMouse.

Coming out in the second, Squornshelous didn't press the attack as hard as they had previously, and replaced Dmitri Polokov, who was a bit off his usual form, with Erkki Aatunen. The inexperience on the Squornshelan defence showed a bit here though. They too left a midfielder a bit too much space near the top of the box, and Jonesy QuickMouse beat Kustaa Paavalainen with an unexpected shot, catching him flatfooted.

The Pschychoes put on some offensive pressure once again, and were rewarded in the 58th when Kuivalainen, who was easily the best player on the pitch, netted his second goal, maneuvering through the defense to fairly close range before sending the ball to the bottom corner. Miceland struck back once again with a quick counter following a Squornshelan corner kick. Our defensive midfielders were caught upfield and Strike ChargeMouse managed to beat Rassmus Pahlsson around the outside to open up enough space to beat Paavalainen.

Erkki Aatunen made sure the match ended on a high note for Squornshelout though, scoring a meaningless goal in the first minute of stoppage time. He beat the offsides trap and outran the tired Marauder defense to the ball, easily chipping BreadMouse as he rushed out.

Final Score:
Miceland 2-6 Squornshelous

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Svoboda: 2
Kuivalainen: 2
Aatunen: 1
Ilmari: 1
Polokov: 1
Uolevi: 1

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses
MD1: Squornshelous 2-0 Vikingholm
MD2: Miceland 2-6 Squornshelous
MD3: Squornshelous v Swilatia
MD4: Recluse Island v Squornshelous
MD5: Capitalizt SLANI v Squornshelous
MD6: Squornshelous v Kiryu-shi
MD7: Turruth Gordur v Squornshelous
MD8: Vikingholm v Squornshelous
MD9: Squornshelous v Miceland
MD10: Swilatia v Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous v Recluse Island
MD12: Squornshelous v Capitalizt SLANI
MD13: Kiryu-shi v Squornshelous
MD14: Squornshelous v Turruth Gordur

The important thing about the Casaran school of Soccer, if you manage to take any lesson from it's mindless praise, chanting, fighting, and denouncements of any random person in it's way, is the belief that every match is different, and thusly, one cannot have the same strategy. The match is kind of life form all it's own, which naturally lead to large amounts of flowing prose defining the match as different things.

While that's going a bit far, matches can be different things- some are a showcase of the beautiful parts of the game- passing, speed, agility, teamwork, and a certain flair for the acrobatic. Others are stuggles for every inch, even away from the ball, to the point of being a full out fistfight. In some, everything goes right, others, everything goes wrong. Some are highlighted by the weather, while others are ruined by it. Some rely on the surroundings far more than the play itself, in others the play makes up for the surroundings.

Then some are a bit of everything.

---

About two thousand made the trip to the downs, despite the cold weather, covering the close halves of the hills on either side of the field. A single small scoreboard, temporary and comparable to the kind on a high school field, sat on one corner. Around the field, sitting on bases no more than a foot off the ground, were sets of lights- a pair shining out onto the field, a third at a high angle into the air. It was all well and good until the late spring snow began to fall, the flakes turning the field into what looked like a large cloud of fog- light being reflected in all directions.

---

"What on earth is in the box?" Leo asked, watching Mike carry a large box into the double-wide trailer the TV people insisted on using as a locker room.

Mike grabbed a package out of the box and held it out to Silvia, who was already entering her pre-match trance. Shaking her head, she took it and opened it, looking at the contents.

"Ski goggles, the tinted ones. You can't see shit out there, the snow's reflecting all of the light. They match the kits, too. Take a pair, put them on."

"That's a stupid idea." Scott said, applying tape to his joints. "We'll look like fools."

Silvia pulled the goggles onto her head, then took them off and adjusted them, adjusting them tighter and pulling them on again. "They'll work fine. Thanks, Mike."

Mike smirked. "See, if the heir to the empire likes them, you can all get along fine. Otherwise you won't be able to see anything for the first half of the match, and you'll have a headache from the light for the second. Think of it as a fashion statement."

"You couldn't have gotten anything more stylish? Something wraparound, maybe?" Lori said, looking the wrong way through a pair.

"These will have better visibility. Plus, they won't shatter and destroy your eyes if you take a head or a ball to the face."

"Mike, you are a genius and I love you and also want to have your children."

"Good to hear that."

---

The Casarans looked like space aliens in cold weather gear for most of the match already, wearing a collection of hoodies, thermal

shirts and pants, and other things to keep them warm, but it had paid off so far, and with eleven minutes remaining, the teams sat

level at nothing.

That didn't take long to change. A slippery pitch and a ball curving a surprising amount off the foot of a Oliverrian forward met the

net, opening the scoring and giving the away team the lead.

It was a distressed attacking trio that met at midfield.

"I wish I had worn longer cleats." Andrea Reichmann said, looking at her feet. She was on her debut- a substitute for the unfortunate Carter Lawton, who had tripped over an opposing defensemen who couldn't hold onto the pitch and left the match in minute sixty-four.

"So do we all, the field's turning into a sheet of mud." Henry replied, watching the referee trot past with the ball. He managed a set of headgear- an ancient cat hat, complete with the pointy ears on top.

Silvia frowned. Turning around, she scanned the team. "Xavier!" she yelled to the replacement center back, who had come on just four minutes earlier.

"What?!" Came the reply, his confused look apparent across half the field. Silvia motioned for him to move up, which he did reluctantly.

"Henry, go back and replace him. Hurry." Henry shrugged and reluctantly ran back, nodding at Xavier as they passed.

"What's this about?"

"How's your grip?"

"Fine, why?"

"Noone else has any. You're going to have to make the run, we'll get the ball to you."

"What?"

"No time! Get over there, wait for the kick."

Xavier sighed and ran out of the circle, Silvia kicking off to Andrea as soon as he made it across the line.

The attack wound it's way up the field slowly, most of the players skidding a little as they tried to intercept the ball, eventually pushing deep inside. Seeing his opening, Xavier began a long, curving run into the box, evading any persuit and finding a firm footing to jump for Andrea's cross from the corner, heading the ball into the net past the hapless keeper.

The shapeless cheer of scoring a goal slowly formed into a vulgar chant to the tune of "She'll be Coming 'Round the Mountain," repeating throughout an aimless and useless final few minutes of the match, securing the 1-1 tie.

---

The post match was a bit more celebratory this time- not so much of a shock, but still a respectable and pleasant result. Until one of

Pan's friends who had been selling hastily-made meat pies and other tasty refreshments stuck his head in the locker room/trailer.

"Holy crap guys, did we make a haul."

Pan blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we sold out of pies, and the coffee, and the kegs went dry about halftime, we have nothing left." He said, carrying a pair of lockboxes.

"Sold out?"

"Entirely. There is not a ounce to eat or drink on the downs. And we made a good profit."

Pan blinked. "How much profit?"

"Haha." the friend dropped the boxes, both of them landing with a dull thud. "Those are full."

"Full?"

"Entirely. Two more like them too, Rob has them in the trailer at the moment."

"This just keeps getting better and better." Pan said. "No worries about paying for flights now, eh?"

"Pfft, you think it'll last that long?" Lori said, eyeing the box carefully.

"Hell, we'll be lucky if it lasts the night after today," Pan replied, "Because I could use about seven or eight drinks."

---

"Wait, what?" Mike said. "Nonono, that's all wrong, don't do that. I told you, get the kind with the stain remover."

Mike was standing in the middle of an all-night laundromat, a few days after the match, talking on the phone with Uri, who was having problems deciding which detergent to buy to wash the kits in at the local Ultramart. Hanging up, Mike muttered and sat down in a chair to resume reading his paper, having lost the official Beer Pong tournament the previous night and, as the losing team in conjunction with Uri, was forced to do the team's gameday laundry.

"Hey, how's it going?" Silvia asked, peeking her head in the door.

Mike turned and blinked. "You do that a lot."

"Bad habit. How's the laundry?"

"We don't have the soap, so Uri's getting it."

"Does it smell?"

"Oh god, you have no idea. You didn't have to stop in, you know."

Silvia shrugged. "I was on my way to meet someone, thought I'd stop by."

Mike smiled gently. "Thanks." Quickly, his phone began ringing again. "Hello?" He answered. "Wait, what? What the hell do you mean, Pan's on TV? How would he get on TV?" Both Mike and Silvia turned to look at the small TV hanging from the ceiling. Pan, unfortunately, was on it.

*"I'm here to answer any questions about the team at this time." He said.

"Do you think you can keep this pace up?" a reporter asked.

"Naturally."

"What about the next match, against Assagai Developments?"

"Well, in my opinion, they wouldn't know a soccer ball if it hit their mother in the stomach while they were in the womb." Ari blinked and looked like he was thinking, before nodding. "Yes."

"Wouldn't saying this be some kind of motivation for them?"

"Who cares?" Pan replied. "We're back, and that's all anyone needs to know."*

The cry of "Oh F**k me!" focused the attention of everyone in the laundromat, passerby outside, and one person in a Tiger Cub who nearly ran into a Fire Hydrant trying to see what was going on. Mike covered his face in his hands as his phone rang again.

Silvia blinked. "No kidding."

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"...a bit more like it, Fr. John, especially since that disappointing opening day home draw with Integrite."

"Absolutely Fr. Nicholas. It's almost as if the lads were willed on by the Holy Spirit towards victory, though while always maintaining a spirit of loving forgiveness towards their manifold sins, I hasten to add. Let he who is without sin and so on and so forth, etc., etc., etc...."

"I think you were looking for 'cast the first stone'"

"Thought that rather went without saying, Fr. Nicholas."

"And the performances on the pitch, Fr. John?"

"Oh, look, we must give thanks unto the Lord for the sudden appearance of Fr. Serginho. With Fr. Barsanuphius anchoring the midfield, the Holy Fool is freed up to unleash the full force of his God-given eccentric creativity across the park. Quite frankly, I don't think Nebuleux knew what hit them."

"And a hattrick for Fr. Basil the Faster, Fr. John."

"Oh yes, Fr. Basil also looked sharp. Fr. Innocent took his goal well, and there was a fine free kick from Fr. Serginho to cap off his magnificent contribution. The lads are finally coming together, God be praised. That late consolation goal for the home side hardly factors into it."

"So no need for humility and praying for forgiveness for our own sins of arrogance this morning, then?"

"I couldn't disagree more, Fr. Nicholas. It's precisely because we won 5-1 that we need to be even more cautious about arrogance, pride and sin. Remember the last World Cup... 10th in the world to 20th in the world in a single tournament - and solely through our sinfulness. And I remind you that that's an official canonical ruling of the Holy Synod. No. Today we must be even more on guard against pride and arrogance."

"And denouncing."

"Did you have to bring that up again? There's no denouncing here. Not this season, anyway..."

Solenial Herald

Sol Grab First Win

It was a mark of Solenial's supreme dominance in this game that Carlos Van Frigh left the Stadium a ecstatic man, clutching the Man of the Match bubbly under his arm and tucking two more goals under his belt.
With a bit of luck he could have beaten the four goals they conceded against Schiavonia, but it was a win nevertheless.

Although Van Frigh grabbed the headlines it was his strike partner Beas King who got the scoring under way - nodding home a looping header from a Nicky Shorez cross in the 21st minute.

And seconds later Senna doubled the score when when he got on the end of a Chris Eagles cross from the right.

Van Frigh got on the scoresheet a minute into the second half when Senna's free-kick into the danger saw the strong striker nip in front of the Centre-Back to stab home.

The Lowland Clans got consolation in the 53rd minute when the midfielder lobbed Freiderik Palema from the edge of the area.

We hope this is the Start for great success, in this world cup.

Solenial: Palema, Shorez, Xavi, Nuno Frise, Jones, Shansk, Marezonio, Senna, Eagles, King (sub Trump 80), Van Frigh (C).

Match Facts

Solenial

Goals: 3
Shots: 4
Shots on Target: 4
Fouls: 1
Yellow Cards: 0
Red Cards: 0
Possesion: 67%

The Lowland Clans

Goals: 1
Shots: 3
Shots on Target: 2
Fouls: 3
Yellow Cards: 0
Red Cards: 0
Possesion: 33%

My name is Pselluso the Seer, and while you might credit it not, there are those who call me mad.

But I assure you that my madness, if madness is what it is, is not of this world.

For I once found Heldscalla.

I glimpsed the Glimmung.

Yes, I, Pselluso the Seer, once glimpsed the Glimmung.

And as - for but one fleeting second - I caught the light of but one facet of that million-faceted jewel, the walls of reality were forever parted, and all time and space were for one eternal microsecond revealed to me.

And I see the visions still. I know how this realm will end. I have seen, I see, I will see the final battle between the Basileus and the Oneiromancer as the Dark Lord of the Void is at last unleased.

The cities will burn by flame and fire, and all the infinite realities of the Dreamed Realm will be consumed. The Archregimancy will fall at last, and even the Holy Empire's time shall pass in the whirlwind to come.

But it is my curse that I know not when the end shall come.

I pray that it shall be millenia after my own time has itself passed, but I know not, for my own future remains hidden even to me.

But this I do know...

As the unleashed hell consumes all things, as the portals between the realms burn unto ashes, one man shall at the last stand alone and hold even these things back for a moment in one final futile gesture of magnificent defiance. For one final time, just as last night he singlehandedly dragged his team back from 2-0 down to destroy Konora 5-2, one man shall refuse to surrender, one man shall try and hold back the dark, one man shall stare down the final flames... before he too is consumed in the apocalypse to come.

His name is Juan Tzimisces.

He is ancient.

He is legend.

Fear him, for surely his time has come again.

Ambrose-Douglas (0) 0
St Samuel (1) 3
Mazzeranni 22, 64
St John 76

St Samuel earnt a well earned victory against Ambrose-Douglas in splendid display of football. The Latin Crusaders came out strong in the first half and it was Enzo Mazzeranni who broke the dead lock on the 22nd minute when Dexter St John held up a long ball and flicked over to Mazzeranni who caught the ball perfectly on the volley to smash home.

St Samuel continued there attacking display but were unable to increase the 1-0 scoreline. Niclas Corinthian made two goods saves in the first half denying Ambrose-Douglas of an egualizer.

St Samuel came out in the second half and continued there good work from the first half. Sensini was denied what would have been an amazing long range goal by a great piece of goal keeping on the 51st minute.

It was Enzo Mazzeranni who got his second of the game and third of the tournament when another long ball found Mazzeranni 10 yards out and much like his first goal volleyed a high and hard shot into the top corner leaving the keeper no chance.

Dexter St John confirmed the victory for the Latin Crusaders in the 76th minute when he slid in to connect with a cross from Batista to beat the keeper and make the score line 3-0.

Recluse Island Manage Surprise Win

Recluse Island were somehow able to snatch a win from Turruth Gordur in the World Cup last night. Despite being pegged back in their own half by their somewhat aggressive opponents, Recluse Island remain undefeated after two games in the World Cup so far.

Defenders Aaron Carle and Nick Vujacic as well as young goalkeeper Giovanni Prospiri were dominant at the back, desperately defending their goal from the Turruth Gordur onslaught. As the two teams remained deadlocked 5 yellow cards were handed out to Turruth Gordur players (all for rash tackles), as well as 3 to Recluse Island players (all for arguing with the referee).

The game looked destined to remain 0-0 until Niclas Kjaer sprinted down the left flank, and darted across the Turruth Gordur defence, hoping to draw a foul in box. He was eventually rewarded when Varg Vikernes brought him down in the box, gaining Recluse Island a penalty. Veteran midfielder Jose Sierra made no mistake in putting away the penalty to give Recluse Island their first World Cup win.

Despite this win, Recluse Island will still have to produce a miracle to garner a similar result against Capitalizt SLANI, who are ranked second in the world.

Elven Times
Chugging Along

Two games, six points, six goals for, none conceded. All in all, the stats are what they should be for the number three squad in the world, espicially when you take into consideration the number of upsets that have transpired thus far in many of the first two qualifying rounds. It seemed impossible to believe, but Mathias Nickel seems to have actually gotten better in his marking, perhaps as result in his move to the Han league? His example and leadership in the back has been enough so far to keep the pressure off St. Louis, and only forcing Jacob to make the saves expected of him from chances that are not of high quality. Despite being an offensive minded squad, the team has seemed to step up in its defensive abilities in the last two tournaments, and from what we've witnessed so far into this this forray, the elevated play of the backline is continueing. This might be due to the more possessive style of football that Inaki Soler left on the squad, allowing the oppisition only one or two good quality chances per match. Or that in fact that the defenders in the country are getting better. Either is a viable explination, and so long as the results remain in the same form, their will be little complaint or care over which is the reason for improved defensive play.

A major story coming out of the Audioslavia match was not the fact that the Marauders avenged their first international fixture, a 4-2 loss to the Audioslavians back in the first matchday of Wolrd Cup 29 qualifying, but that Ikles Razov was added to the increasingly long list of Marauders to have scored in their first international appearance. The story of Ikles is an very intruiging one to say the least. Born and raised in Rinaldi, the elf always dreamed of playing for the Gunners, at age the ripe age of 203, was finally accepted into their academy. From there, he honed his game and it was evident that he had the ability to be a first class striker. He would get his break at the age of 532 when the Gunners named him to the reserve team. Though it would be 200 years before he saw consistant first team action, the expierence he got from those reserve games and the bond he formed with Renai Adai was crucial for his development. When he and Renai were called up for their first first team match, against none other than their intence rivals of Gladerial, the duo showed sparks of the future as they were able to get enough pressure and Razov eventually put one past the keeper in an one all draw. When he finally became a consistant starter, along side of Adai, he had had enough expierence and training and became one of the top leaders in scoring for decades in the Premiership. He was on his way into elite status and a call up for the national team when he was sent to Assegai to make room on the roster for their big signing of Ashley Riot. From there his career was not as followed and his chance of representing the country started to fade, but with the exodus of many of the countries stars into the Assegai league, his career finally had the light shone back on it. It was still these three tournaments though before he got his due, and with as much adversity as he had to have overcome, everyone knew that the minute he stepped on the pitch on the seventith minute in place of Rikard, that he was going to find a way to get on the scoresheet. And when the squad got a freekick from outside the area, Jannian let Razov take it, and it was the most precise of hard lobs that had the Hatire Memorial erupt into applause. And Razov, after all his hard work and triumphs over adversity ran to the fans, took off his kit, and kissed the badge, recieving a yellow card in the process, but one that the EFA gladly payed the fine for, for redemption had finally came for one of the nations most loved sons.

With two of the more weaker sides already done and dusted in this already weak group, the Marauders now will host Cookesland in this weekends match. Despite being undertalented, this feels like a trap game for the navy and black, espicially with the number of upsets that have taken place as mentioned before, none more stunning than the Demot 0-3 Casari scoreline. With the squad already showing it's class in this group, they are liable into getting into that false sence of security and be lulled into difficult match where Cookesland can surprise them. Yet knowing Constant and how he approached every match in his career with the same poise and concern, it is unlikely to happen, but they still must go out there and get the job done. This is going to be a game where Laborious Hawk will be crucial, for all the reasons the central midfield is, but to show he has grown after back to back tournaments where his poor performance in the quarterfinals was a key reason why the squad was not able to progress. If he can stay mentally strong and keep improving his game and extering dominance, this squad should be fine and easily dispose of Cookesland in the same manner that Audioslavia fell to their blades of glory.

Elves Security Forces 5
Kiso Night (9, 31)
Laborious Hawk (46)
Rick Cuellar (51)
Ikles Razov (73) (74)

Audioslavia 0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elves Security Forces 1
Kiso Night (39) PK

Sativaville 0

Scorers
Kiso Night 3
Laborious Hawk 1
Rick Cuellar 1
Ikles Razov 1

Schedule
MD1: ESF v Audioslavia 5-0
MD2: Sativaville v ESF 0-1
MD3: ESF v Cookesland
MD4: The Crescent Republic v ESF
MD5: ESF v Wentland
MD6: Bushes Been Quaked v ESF
MD7: ESF v Prux
MQF: ESF v Az-cz
MQF: ESF v Bettia
MD8: Audioslavia v ESF
MD9: ESF v Sativaville
MD10: Cookesland v ESF
MD11: ESF v The Crescent Republic
MD12: Wentland v ESF
MD13: ESF v Bushes Been Quaked
MD14: Prux v ESF
PQF: ESF v Jeruselem

Article by Luna Santapa

Amda-Mo: Well after a nice start to the tournament a bit of a disappointing result against Estresse Intenso, only able to come away with a point.

Lur-Mn: Well to be sure we would've liked the full three, but Estresse Intenso is a strong side, and it's not a big surprise we couldn't punch in many goals. Still after we dominated them in the finals we were hoping for more.

Amda-Mo: True, but this is not that side. They still seem to be learning to work together.

Lur-Mn: That's correct. Not only do they have to learn the play of the three new starters and how to play without the old players they also have to adjust back into a formation with a striker, which is a big change.

Amda-Mo: How would you rate the play of the team today, starting with the offense?

Lur-Mn: The offense was good. Ho-Lee Chung's goal to put us ahead was brilliant and Levesque's goal to earn the draw was also good but Estresse Intenso very clevery singled out Kn-Dg as the man to stop and stop him they did. Seoula showed his youth today as he struggled against their strong defense.

Amda-Mo: And the defensive side?

Lur-Mn: Disappointing. We shouldn't allow two goals to a defensive side like Estresse Intenso. I'm not entirely sure what the problem was, but it's something we'll have to work on. We don't want to be a seive at the back.

Amda-Mo: Any other thoughts on the team?

Lur-Mn: Not especially. We're looking ok so far, but it would be nice to really turn things up. We're not yet looking like a contender for the cup title.

Amda-Mo: Turning our attentions forward we next face British Londinium who will be visiting Shangri-La.

Lur-Mn: They're a mid level side and picked up a nice win over Vephrall before losing to Kansiov. I'm expecting us to win easily anything other than a win will be unacceptable.

Amda-Mo: Thoughts on the rest of the group?

Lur-Mn: Not especially. Sel Appa's playing well. No one's really moved that far out of expectations at this point.

Amda-Mo: And the rest of the world?

Lur-Mn: Upset's galore. Jeruselem and Commerce Heights were both upset by relatively weak three seeds in Yafor 2 and Kiryu-shi, respectively. And some big "upset" draws as well. Demot's still failed to score a goal as they were held to a scoreless draw by Assegai Developments and Bazalonia ended up in a wild 4-4 game with Central Prestonia.

Amda-Mo: Now onto everyone's favorite section, the sexy six.

Lur-Mn: Again this early these don't mean very much but here goes:

6. Errinundera

It's a bit hard to evaluate the runners up so far. Their win over Quakmybush was nice but the Sharks look like they might be in a down cycle. Still it's a good win and continues their momentum from last cup.

5. Alasdair I Frosticus

The one team on the list without a name victory they've instead been incredibly offensive and incredibly good, racking up 12 goals and a +9 differential through two games. St. Samuel will be a good test but everyone is looking forward to the game five match against Ariddia.

4. Bettia

They won in a not very Bettia fashion over Geisenfried, but they've won twice without allowing a goal. If the Bettia defense is strong they could well end up with a third title, even if Il-Lur isn't picking them to win it all this time.

3. Elves Security Forces

After an opening day rout they needed to work to beat Sativaville but they did win and they're still looking like the best bet to break the barricade of brilliance brought by Bettia and Bariddia.

Amda-Mo: You mean Ariddia?

Lur-Mn: Yes that's what I meant, but it broke the alliteration anyways moving on:

2. Yafor 2

While the other five names on this list I've gotten quite used to seeing up here Yafor 2 is a bit of a suprise. Then again their victory of Jeruselem was also suprise. While certainly a good team who's made it to the proper a number of times they're not widely considered to be a great team. But they have the second biggest scalp of the tournament, with only Kiryu-shi's win over Commerce Heights being bigger. With Qazox's suprise loss on opening day they're currently sitting pretty.

1. Ariddia

However the top spot still belongs to the world's best a strong opening day win followed by a two goal thwacking of Rejistania away shows that Ariddia is going to make an even stronger push to repeat this time. Considering they made the finals in their last title defense it's unclear where else they'll go. But for now they're the team to beat, as if anyone didn't know that.

Amda-Mo: Intersting list, Yafor 2 is definitely the ugly duckling of the group.

Lur-Mn: Well I wouldn't phrase it quite like that, but yes, they are a man among giants there.

Amda-Mo: Well join us next time as the Gnomes hope for better luck. Good night.

"Turn that crud off Johnas, it's too painful to watch." a young man with sleek black hair and an old Dynamo kit on complained to barkeep.

"Aye laddy, I know what you mean, but there isn't anyting else on. Still though, who could of imagined the national team only having a single points out of their first two fixtures with no goals scored? It seems awfully strange to me. I wonder if the luster of Masteron has finally faded and his glory days are well behind him." the bald barkeep said as he finsihed polishing an empty mug.

"Perhaps so, but this group really needs to get their act together. For heavens sake, they are supposed to be the number twelve team in the world, and an very offensive side. I know Masteron brought in alot of youth to prepare for the future, but still, our caliber of football should be hirer than this. Losing to Casari, AT HOME!!!, is simply not acceptable, much less not getting a single goal out of these two matches. Now granted the Assegai result was quite fair, as the Assegains have been increasing in skill for tournaments, and were even great back when we played them in the BNW Cup and League. But Casari is nowhere near the power they were when they won their Cup. Hell, it had been over a decade since football had been played their at the international level. Now tell me Johnas is this really what you expected?"

"Of course not Alexander, but what can we do? All we are are local people doing thier part to continue on in our lives. It's not like we can go play on the team or get the current squad to get their act togethers. Hell, it's been at least seven years since I've even played a competitive match. Just go home Alexander and prepare for uni in the fall."

"Oh, I'll go prepare alright Johnas, but it wont be fore teaching classes at the uni, I'm going to go give those so called elite players on the national team a piece of my mind and hopefully shape them up."

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/neorvinsherald.gif

Kelssek hammered at home as Qazox run rampant

The hotly anticipated return of top-level international football to the Canada Stadium had fans entering cheering in excitement and leaving howling in pain as Qazox delivered a merciless hammering of the Beavers in their first home match of the World Cup 37 qualifiers.

Kelssek's footballers were hapless victims of a well-oiled onslaught as the Qazox team, their ears probably still stinging from their coach's yelling after dropping a clanger of their own against Rastafariburg in their opening match, were out for blood.

And they barely knew what hit them as Yancy Fry and Tomas Richter walked through the defence and slipped two past a next-to-useless Richard Davis by the 37th minute.

Things picked up for Kelssek as the crowd of 40,273 fell silent, allowing the incensed yelling of manager Gregory Babcock to become audible, and they did well to hold out till half-time, but in the second half Kelssek just sunk deeper into the hole as Richard Holden added another tally.

The result was never in doubt and neither Francois St. Louis's reckless lunge at Zane West, the red card he was issued, nor the resulting penalty, duly converted by Holden, mattered much.

It's easy to say that Qazox was supposed to be the much better team, yet unlike against Jeruselem, it was hardly a creditable performance and Kelssek will have to do much better if they are to get anywhere in this edition of the World Cup.

Kelssek: Davis, Gobrynin, Dubois, St. Louis, Symonds, Regehr, Anderson, Arsenault (Fournier 63), Fletcher (Archer 74), Sinclair, Cournoyer (Crawford 79).

Dear Peter Jeffers

Hello dear. It's your dear little Jeruselem girl here!

Err, we lost to Yafor 2 at the home of Yafor 2 today. The Princess wasn't too happy with the midfield today as didn't really have reliable supply to Kate Dallas and her strikers. I don't know want happened but we didn't play well at all.

Admitted Kate was looking a bit annoyed at not getting any ball for periods as Yafor 2 played really well and shut us down in midfield. This put far too much pressure on our defense who would prefer to defending a little less than they did today. Well, we wish we did give the ball to Kate a little more as she seems to have better ball control than most of the midfield including myself. Dinkie scored our only goal but too little too late. Admittedly Yafor 2 was the better team and should have scored more goals but our keeper did a grand job.

Actually if you watch the game, I made one rather bad pass and well it went to Yaforian then they scored later. Otherwise, it would have been a draw. I don't what happened but that's probably why Kate refused to talk to me tonight. Dazza wasn't so unforgiving but I think Kate's temper is worse than Dazza's. I'll make up for it next game. Kate Bush forgave me though, but she doesn't want it to happen again.

Anyway, we'll be at home next game and I'm sure the two Kates will be making the team work harder than ever after this loss. We play lowly ranked Billopesia and we should win this game. I hate to say this I think Dinkie as captain is under threat. I don't think she is quite handling the pressure. Kate Dallas is vice captain but if you see the games - she's doing all the running around. Maybe we need a control freak like a Dazza Dallas - in this case Kate - as captain.

Losing Scarlet Ferris today was bad. Doctors say she's out for at least three games. Don't know what happened but she seemed to have caught a hard part on the pitch with her studs and twisted the knee out when she was trying to move. She hates wondering around on crutches because she cannot rider her scooters.

Your team did a great job drawing with Vilita 2 ALL. You played really well today and playing Vilita must not be easy. I was expecting the Jungle Cats to win but I think Bostopia will do well this cup! Your team had a great win last game too. I wish we did that against Kelssek.

Our army team won FOUR NIL, I wish we were playing as well as they do. Actually they scored SEVEN goals in two games - and we have scored only three goals so far. Tunky is doing really well with his team.

Scarlet Ferris is not letting ride her new scooter. It sound mean but then I've stacked scooters in the past and I'm not getting much better. My sister Sally says I need to have surgery to correct problem with my ears affecting my balance.

I miss ya! Can't wait to see you again.

Hikfie Dallas
XXX

Uir Spor Talavisin - Morning

News Anchor: "Hello, and Good Morning. Today thousands of fans from Gogari watched the Geese loose 3-1 against Sorthern Northland. Okudil scored and Ederat had a goal called offside. Mao scored twice and China got a goal too. At the end of the match, hundreds went to storm the team resulting in two killed and twenty injured. When asked about the team's performance, the coach had this to say:

Coach: "This was the first match which almost all the players except Okudil and Durab, and of course, Hulo, played home in because most players are from the Regional Fokiri Falcons team. Next home match will be in Fokiri to instill confidence into the players who are used to the stadium there. Baro's injury in the Hatchling Cup got us too, as he would've done good against the Sorthern Northland players."

News Anchor: " In a related story, a 10 year old boy who is showing a lot of potential may compete in a couple of world cups. We weren't allowed to give his name but you'll know it soon enough."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/rejistania.png Rejistania 1-3 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

First trip abroad successful

The Rouge-et-Noirs played their first away game of the competition today, travelling to what was once Rejistania to face the “national team” of this former nation.

“Rejistanians have been through a lot of hardship recently,” Ariddian captain Iol Et said before the game. “But they’ll always be one of the big teams in football, and this isn’t going to be an easy match.”

The Rejistanians played a balanced style, far from their past tactics, but the Rouge-et-Noirs looked confident throughout the encounter. Jamilah Shahrour scored the first goal with the back of her foot in the firty-eighth minute, looking mildly surprised as she turned round and saw the ball in the net; Ariddia was up one-nil at half-time.

The former Orange-Blues held out well for most of the remaining three quarters of an hour, although an astonishingly long shot from Iol Et in the sixty-ninth minute found its mark and consolidated Ariddia’s lead.

Kja-Lan Kansu scored shortly thereafter as the Rejistanians played catch-up, and it looked as if the score was going to remain a modest 2-1 victory for the defending champions. Then, fifty-one seconds before the whistle was blown to signal the end of the match, Es Chichirua –brought in late as a substitute– weaved her way through the Rejistanian defence and proved to all why she was a Rouge-et-Noir, scoring a perfectly aimed goal against Jiie Aoueti.

“It was a great match, and I feel privileged to have been part of it,” 21 year-old Chichirua said afterwards. “It’s not all that often two countries that have both been World Champions several times come face to face in the qualifiers.” Not for nothing has Group 11 been labelled the ‘Group of Death’.

And what of the Ariddians’ impressions of Rejistania?

“It’s such a diverse country. . . well, ex-country,” Chichirua says. “It’s fascinating! So many languages, cultures. . . It was a bit confusing having to cross several borders between the airport and the stadium, but it seems to suit the people here. A lot of them believe in re-incarnation, too, which is. . . different.”

Shahrour’s report

Let Jamilah Shahrour (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Jamilah_Shahrour) loose in a country that was invaded by Allanea, and she’s bound to prepare a full report on the crimes of the occupation. This of course she did without fail.

Allanean threats to raze Rejistanian cities to the ground and commit mass murder of civilian population were of course well documented (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=531903&page=2). Nonetheless, Shahrour went through the archives, spoke to local residents, and prepared as comprehensive a report as she could during her short stay in the area. The military government, the undemocratic imposing of collaborationist, pro-market authorities. The propaganda; the protests. The Allanean military’s violence. The forced relocations. The devastating wildfires started by the occupying forces. The report will be circulated widely, sent to the media, and published in full at http://jamilah_shahrour.ari/occupation_allaneene_de_la_rejistanie.

Finding expatriates: part 2

The Ariddian presence in Rejistania has never been particularly numerous, and many left when Allanea invaded. Others stayed, trying to salvage their lives and help with the rebuilding efforts. A few fought against the invaders, through unauthorised public meetings, the use of a pirate radio channel, or, in some rare cases, violent resistance.

François and Clémentine Duval, two cousins, are remembered and celebrated as martyrs by the Ariddian community in Rejistania. They threw empty glass bottles at a patrol of Allanean soldiers, and were shot.

“They were Rejistanian patriots,” fellow Ariddian expatriate and friend of the family Tricia Medston says. “They wanted to make a statement against Allanean casual, murderous brutality. Of course, the Allanean soldiers will never be made to pay for their crimes.”

A website (francois-et-clem_martyrs.rj) includes a forum which is a focal point of discussions for the Ariddian community in Rejistania. Ariddian Rejistanians also log on to arixpat.org (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Arixpat.org) - the website of the Ariddian diaspora.

The most famous Ariddian-Rejistanian couple, however, are probably former Rouge-et-Noir Tadjou Senaya (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tadjou_Sheyi_Senaya) and his Rejistanian wife Sele. The couple and their three children live most of the time in Rejistania, but visit Ariddia on a regular basis. They were in Rejistania during the invasion.

“The Allaneans wanted to deport us,” Senaya remembers. “They came to the house while I wasn’t in, tried to intimidate Sele, in front of the kids. Said I was a foreign radical, and I’d be arrested ‘or worse’ if we didn’t leave.” He laughs bitterly at the memory. “I began sticking up posters all over town denouncing the occupation. It wasn’t much, but I wanted to do my bit, you know. . .”

Senaya also donated money to a resistant pirate radio station, and to hospitals treating victims of Allanean soldiers’ brutality, one former resistant recalls.

Tadjou, Sele and their children were present at today’s match between Ariddia and Rejistania.

“It’s good to see the Rouge-et-Noirs doing so well,” Tadjou Senaya said. “And the ‘Orange-Blues’ will soon be back to top form, you’ll see.”

Ceccoli hands out seven red cards during first international match

“It was like being in the middle of a warzone,” the 27 year-old Sanadrianese referee said after the match between Northern Bettia and Minilla Island (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13051322&postcount=62). “Having survived that, I think I can survive anything.”

Ceccoli handed out five red cards to Northern Bettians, and two to Minilla Islanders. She also handed out a total of twelve yellow cards. By the end of the match, the Fire Ants were playing with five players against eight, due to both sides also being depleted by injuries. Ceccoli commented that Northern Bettia was now going to “struggle” to field a decent team for match day 2, with most of its best players facing temporary bans.

“There was kicking, scraping, throttling, tripping, and almost as many real injuries as simulated ones – in other words, a heck of a lot,” Ceccoli said.

Nonetheless, the Fire Ants dominated the encounter, winning by six goals to one.

“The ridiculous thing is, they don’t need to cheat in order to win,” the Sanadrianese pointed out. “At least not against Minilla Island.”

The latter also played dirty, and conceded a number of free kicks and penalty kicks due to vicious fouls.

“The Islanders were playing the Northern Bettians’ game, but they just weren’t as good at it,” Ceccoli noted wryly. “I hope this is a lesson to them.”

***pheep pheep pheep!!***

"And the final score here at Sakura Park - Northern Bettia 1, Zwangzug 3. Back to the studio we go."

"Thanks Bob," said Tim Ansayna, the colony's foremost footballing pundit, slowly drawing a breath as the camera cut away from scenes of a dejected Fire Ants squad trudging off the field to the backdrop of several hundred enraged Northern Bettian fans clashing with soldiers as they attempted to force their way into the away fans' section. As the loud bang of a petrol bomb exploding on the terraces rang around the ground, he addressed his smartly dressed colleagues.

"Well Mike, that certainly made for painful viewing, didn't it?" he asked the rather portly-looking chap sitting to his left.

"Certainly was. The lads were always going to be up against it after losing a whole host of key players from the first game, and with only ten fit players left to call on, the manager had to make some tough decisions."

"Yes, like calling on Stu Kaolla to play, broken jaw and all."

"Exactly. Mind you, we haven't exactly been helped by the referees so far in this tournament. Just like in the first match against Manilla Island, there have been some shocking decisions."

"Yes, let's just have a quick look at a few of them. First of all - should this have been a penalty?"

The screen cut away to a slow-motion clip from the 34th minute of the game showing Dan Shinobu racing into the box, jinking his way clear of a defender before launching himself majestically into the air and tumbling to the ground.

"Of course it was! Any idiot could see that was a clear foul. But no - the blind twat didn't give it, and to cap it all off, he books him for diving. Diving! I ask you. The Fire Ants are not a team of divers - we're far too rock for that sort of thing."

"Quite. Now just after that clear-cut penalty was denied, Zwangzug are then awarded a penalty of their own."

Once again, the screen cuts to a slow-motion clip, showing a Zwangzug striker on the ball before being ruthlessly chopped down in his prime from behind by stand-in fullback Blake Sitara, leaving the poor bloke writhing on the floor in agony as the Northern Bettian stands over him mouthing a shedload of obscenities at him.

"Now how on NS-Earth could the ref give a penalty for that!? If we look at this again in super-slow-motion, we can plainly see that a blade of grass which has been ripped up by Sitara's boot clearly touches the ball as it rolls to Waters. Now to my mind, the player has clearly played the ball, and therefore that was a perfectly legitimate challenge. And to compound that ghastly mistake, Sitara is then sent off for that supposed foul! I fucking despair Tim, I really do!"

"As do we all Mike, as do we all. And as if that wasn't enough, the referee then pulls another howler out of the bag to gift the visitors their third goal..."

The scene cuts away to show Zwangzug's centre-forward sprinting clear after being put through by a well-timed ball from midfield.

"...now THAT is a blatant offside! How the linesman missed that, I'll never know! And the last, and perhaps most controversial moment of the game."

Once again, the image of the gents sitting in the studio cuts away to a slowmo replay, showing a Zwangzug player being fouled and then repeatedly punched whilst on the floor.

"Mike, what did you make of that?"

"Personally, I thought it was a very sporting gesture by Yamada there. He's gone to help the player up, and as he's gone to offer his hand, the opponent has sat up and headbutted his fist. Disgraceful."

"And an early bath for the defender too - bloody shocking. Luckily for Northern Bettia, a change in officials soom occured after the first referee goes off after suffering what appears to be a slight headache..."

The screen then shows a clip of the referee being struck on the back of the head by a large, rather heavy-looking bottle and collapsing to the ground in a heap.

"Tscch! Poof. You can bet your arse he'll be alright after an aspirin! Anyway, the new official performed slightly better, giving Northern Bettia a penalty after yet another blatant foul on Shinobu..."

Yes, you'be guessed it - another blatant dive, but this time from a slightly different angle.

"...but Zwangzug respond with a last-minute goal to sew the game up. I'll tell you something - I'm not happy with the way their fans are behaving..."

The scene cuts outside, where the small contingent of supporters brave enough to make the journey are being pelted with seats, bottles, coins - you name it, if it's solid, it's being thrown.

"Very bad sports indeed, provoking the home supporters by cheering for their team so loudly. Let that be a lesson to them. Anyway, that's all from World Cup Tonight - join us again for the Fire Ants' next game, away to Central Prestonia. Goodnight, and good fight!"




Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT...............VENUE...RESULT

Qualifying Group 7

01: Minilla Island.........HOME....W 6-1
02: Zwangzug...............HOME....L 1-3
03: Central Prestonia......Away....
04: Aurendia...............Away....
05: Vuam & Isma............HOME....
06: Bazalonia..............Away....
07: Kristovenia............HOME....
08: Minilla Island.........Away....
09: Zwangzug...............Away....
10: Central Prestonia......HOME....
11: Aurendia...............HOME....
12: Vuam & Isma............Away....
13: Bazalonia..............HOME....
14: Kristovenia............Away....

"This is a BazSports News Break, The Bazalopes Travelled today to Central Prestonia, the Prestonians who where preidcted to be walkovers by the Bazalopes failed to meet up to this expectation in the most surprising way, by giving the Bazalopes a run for their money. The first 60 minutes where mostly Bazalonian with goals being scored in the 9th, 21st, 43rd and 58 minutes. At the end of the 2/3 mark the score-line was 4-0 with the Bazalopes in a commanding lead. However the lead was taken back in the last 15 minutes of the game. The Bazalopes defense got lazy and allowed the in form Prestonian to take advantage of mistakes that just shouldn't have been there. In 15 minutes it went from 4-0 to 4-all. Who knows what the team was thinking but at least the Bazalopes managed to atleast come away with a single point. 2nd behind Zwangzug with 2 wins and just ahead of the Northern Bettians who have 3 points after the 2nd Matchday.

Upcoming Match: At Home against Kristovenia at Trevton City Enclosed Field

---

Now that the voting had been completed and the World Cup was underway JAmes Gaines had alot more time for other things and such he was intrigued when he received a call that a Professor from the Bazalonian National Library wanted to see him in regards to some documents that he gave them a fair while ago. He was obviously intrigued and so he arranged to meet them in his office...

"He's ready to see you know, you can go in." his receptionist said as he gave a cold hard look at the two men ready to enter his boss's office. He never liked allowing people to enter the room and usually guarded it jealously. Most of the this was wanted, who knows what tabloids or other media wanted to do and there was always the remote chance of a nutjob getting but even when the men were respectible and his Boss wanted to see him. He didn't like it. There were rumors that he had a homosexual crush on his boss but nothing was ever really known on that aspect.

The two men, Professor Finkle and the Archivist opened the double doors that lead them into the President of the WCC's official office.

"What can I do for the BNL, Gentlemen?" James asked

"Do you remeber seeing this document in the collection of documents you donated to the Bazalonian National Library 3 months ago?"

The professor handed over a duplicate of the document...

"Nope, never seen it before in my life, though it certainly looks interesting."

"Where did you get it from?"

"Well, all the documents I donated were from a friend of mine, he's oversea's now, an archaelogist, he wanted me to have a look at them, but I started, and well, I didn't want to risk damaging them and so I gave them to you guys."

"We'll like to speak with your archaelogist friend, What's his name?"

"His name is Trevor Langhorn, I think he's over in Arridia at the moment though for what I have no idea."

"Do you have a phone number where we can get in contact with him?"

"No sorry, I don't and generally when he's working you can never find him on the number he gives anyway. He's quite a work-a-holic."

"Well, thank you for your time."

"No problems, Gentlemen. I hope you find him... this sounds certainly interesting, and I'd like to be kept in contact about what you find about these documents, here's my email." JAmes said handing over his business card after scrawling an email address on the back. I check that one always."

"Will do, Hope the Bazalopes do better."

"Well, you know as WCC President I'm meant to be neutral but it'll will be good to see the Bazalopes really step up."

The Albrecht Herald
C&M go bombastic
By Tracker Edwards

Mark Baker’s men provided their best ever result on the road, ahead of the potentially vital clash with Qazox at the Henrí Savagé Stadium.

The Rastafariburg crowd and players alike seemed undeniably listless yesterday, having perhaps given up every ounce of effort in their own sensational victory at the Pheonix mere days ago. The disappointing nature of the opposition however should not detract from the C&M performance. If it was at time little more than a training ground challenge, it was one which the Big Blues disposed of with aplomb.

C&M were at their controlling best from the off, the Rastafariburg players picking up no less than three yellow cards in the first fifteen minutes for a mixture of sloppy, desperate challenges and hopeless lunges brought on by their failure to claim the ball. The back four of Damien Sono, Benji Fu, captain Peter Waddington and Doug Szczechowicz seldom let the round thing out of their sight, a real benefit of playing away from home. One feels that at the MSS, the Albrechtine supporters are too eager at time to force their men forwards; particularly against such hapless opposition. In foreign climes, C&M have the chance to be as patient as they like; drawing fouls and waiting for the perfect chance to hit down the flanks.

It was with the side’s first real offensive move that C&M scored their first goal on twenty, and it was one of unquestioned beauty. Unsurprisingly it came from the silky feet of Jos Cornelisse on the left; as it seems, at long last, that all C&M’s best attacks do. Receiving a mighty cross-field ball from O’Sullivan Caras; Cornelisse showed majestic control to waltz past a succession of flailing limbs and dreadlocks into the box, share a couple of glorious little dinks with Steven Fritz, and hit high into the net with his less favoured right foot.

It was a piece of play that this side and formation was assembled to complete. The follow-up minutes later was anything but, but still greatly pleasing none the less; when Yasser Zaghloul, a great lump of a man who can always be counted upon to give the opposition defence something to worry about if nothing else, caused panic in the box after receiving yet another sublime long pass from Caras. With Rastafariburger defenders encamped on the goal line, Zaghloul opted to hold the ball up long enough for the cavalry to arrive. The left-back blocked a pile-driver from Speed Wang, but the ball fell straight to Ben Head who thumped in his first international goal on his second appearance.

The jury must remain out on the twenty-three year-old Green Island holding player, with Billopesha and Rastafariburg hardly representing a stern test. His role in the side is as vital as anyone’s and may well make or break C&M’s campaign with crumbling veteran Luis Enrique Torrealba the only real back-up in his department. Notching up a goal for the chart is a nice achievement for the boy, but Baker will have to temper his enthusiasm to come forward. His position is in front of Waddington and Fu, and he must not be allowed to forget it.

Second half floodgates failed to open as C&M elected to take it as easy as possible in the increasingly oppressive heat of Rastafariburg’s national bowl, and allowed their opponents to gain more of the ball. The yellow-clad side duly carved out their best, and arguably only real, opportunities; but Reuben Uwakwe was called upon to make casual saves only once or twice.

At the other end however, C&M were wasteful; Fritz and Zaghloul strangely ineffectual when staring into the eyes of the demon Rastafariburg centre-half, and it was no surprise when they were hauled off along with the rested Cornelisse. Two of the newcomers soon made their mark, when a superbly misplaced pass from Sono to Wang found its way Dan Davis who hooked the ball back to Ignacio Vélez, who couldn’t miss from five yards.

Nineteen year-old José Felipe Cassumba Domingos almost put the icing on the questionably-flavoured cake when he was given a great opportunity by Wang and Davis late on, but the youngster still has much to learn despite his prodigious talent, and he fluffed his chance. It hardly put a dampener on things though, with his side walking away three goals to the good and with successive clean sheets.

Post-match; an oddly relaxed Peter Waddington and Mark Baker were keen to play down the enthusiasm of the assembled Candelariasian media. The captain stressed the need for calm, pointing out the evident limitation of their recent opposition. The coach meanwhile told reporters that he “was taking every game as it comes.” He added, “It’s important not to see expectations rise this early, put too much pressure on the lads, when we really haven’t played anyone yet. I appreciate that young Ms. Dallas and the fellas on Gnome telly have been talking up our chances of getting a play-off berth, but realistically we know that fourth place is our seeded finish. To sneak past three regular World Cup sides we need to be at the top of our game, and for other sides’ results to fall our way.”

On the latter account at least, Baker certainly has a point. Qazox shook off their early disappointment by easing to a 4-0 win in Kelssek, while Yafor 2 did us no favours in beating Kate Bush’s Jeruselem.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Rastafariburg.png Rastafariburg 0

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Candelaria And Marquez.png C&M 3
Fritz 21, Head 26, Vélez 70

Psychoes Psyche Us Out

Millions of Mice took their places to see the first game of the World Cup Qualifying in Miceland. The stadium was normal size for mice but engaged fractured reality allowing the stadium to be filled thousands of times, the magic turnstyles selecting an appropriate fractured reality for each mouse and the relatively few visiting Squornshelons.

What all these fractured realities saw was the same, Miceland getting thrashed with ^(6) goals getting passed David Breadmouse. With consolation goals scored by Strike ChargeMouse and Jonesy QuickMouse in the 61st and the 84th minutes respectively. The adapible play-style of the team failed to really serve the team well, but as the team gains the necessary international experience, watch the team go from a walk in the park to a team that players from other teams see as one to look out for.

Jeers rang out from the assembled travelling supporters, barely audible amongst the delighted cries of the home fans in the ill-capitalised Indonesian states.

A 79th-minute goal from young striker Cory Van Hoeten proved the difference, and the massive, if hardly modern, Stadion Kota Laut went nuts. They should never have been given the chance.

A weakened side was chosen, including the resting of Jose Cazarez in favour of Clifton Marshall, who missed a host of chances including a near-open goal. Embarrassing performances were also on display from Brian Hugill, Clive Townsend and Jack Williams, and one can reasonably assume their international careers are over at their age with young talent emerging. With Jamie Kirklees sustaining an injury in the last minute of the game after comon for Hugill, the situation is so desperate that it is already expected that Fedde Beattis is to be hurriedly pulled from the Di Bradini Cup in Starblaydia to join the squad for the next match, and is even likely to start - he is as short as 11/10 on GetLucky to start the next match and 5/9 to join the squad.

Manager Andy Woolworth is just 11/4 to resign before the halfway stage in qualification; Deportivo del Arapucera manager Fabrizio Quaores is favourite to be his successor at 7/2, ahead of Harrington Lakeside manager Darren Booth at 5/1. Parwood City manager Matthew Tortini is still as short at 9/1 despite publically claiming he is not interested in the job; he appeared as a contestant on a celebrity version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? that taped the day after the match, along with his wife Elisa, and told the audience 'I don't want the national team job, I don't want to be where Woolworth is now and he holds my utmost respect'. The episode airs next week.

TIE?

Boring Game ends up in Stunning Score

The Vanek'ian team continued their goalless tournament yesterday, as a stunning 0-0 tie with Vephrall did not do anything to their position. Overall, it was a boring game, with the midfielders kicking it to each other, and a couple of penetrating attacks. However, it was good experience for the young Vanek'ian team. An interesting point was a possible fight brimming over that was stopped before it could happen in the 43rd minute, but yellow cards given out as a warning. Statistical Overview:

Goals

Injuries

Cards
Sorrah Wais, (43) Yellow
Chris Drury, (43), Yellow

Substitutions
Drury-Inge
Grey-McGaffigan
Wilopteere-Fihor
Sytrobes-Ebrulefa

Current Schedule for Vanek'ians:

Sel Appa 2, VDB 0
Vephrall 0, VDB 0
Next Game:
VDB vs.
OOC: Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13053364&postcount=64) for Adihan and Novapsolu.

It was a second-rate Northern Bettia squad that took the field at Sakura Park. Following the Minilla Island rout, a good deal of the Fire Ants' starting lineup was still suspended. Compounding the unfamiliarity was the fact that the teams had last met in World Cup 33: Zwangzug's players seemed to age twice as slowly, so none of Northern Bettia's team from then was still around.

"At lest that Kyubo guy's gon," Phillip grinned. The former captain had been a constant annoyance to the volatile Zwangzug front line-though nobody quite knew why.

Northern Bettia's offensive style let them keep the ball in the Zwangzug half early on: it took a jittery Eddie to clear it out in the eighteenth minute, and Peter headed it in.

As the half continued, the Fire Ants grew angrier, and the referee blew the whistle. "All right, who was that?" he yelled, pointing to the Zwangzug forwards.

"Who was who?" asked a baffled Peter.

"Whoever just swore at me, that's who! It came from up there."

"I ¬did," Phillip echoed.

"Too right you didn't, that's not your accent. You?" The referee pointed at Peter.

"Jacob was going to pass to me. I could have gotten open over there," Peter protested unsucessfully.

"Yeah, but you didn't."

"As long as I'm out of the game," Peter trekked off, "you're a..." His obscene rant continued all the way to the clubhouse.

Play resumed. Mal was playing far back when Dan Shinubo came up at a run. Seeing a chance to get him offsides, Mal sprinted forward. Shinubo swerved, leaped, and fell to the ground. Immediately, the Northern Bettia bench was in an uproar, but the referee ordered the game to continue. Timothy cleared the ball upfield, passing to Roger, who sent it along to Phillip, who angled forward before being mauled by Blake Sitara. Dizzily climbing to his feet, he put the penalty away to make it 2-0.

After the half, things got off to a predictably messy restart. Andrew fouled Glyn Agadugo, and the referee rightfully awarded Northern Bettia a penalty. Agadugo was so energetically gleeful, however, that the kick sailed over the goal entirely.

Soon after, the Fire Ants would get another chance, with Bartholomew appearing to foul Shinobu. The veteran put it away, and the Zwangzug lead was cut in half.

It remained that way until the eighty-sixth minute, when Jacob passed to Simon Ryne, who scored easily. The obligatory protests from Northern Bettia quickly grew after Owen Yamada's assault on Andrew.

And then at last it was finished, and the Zwangzug team could stagger out to their airplane and make a quick getaway.

"Tha'l ned a return trip 4 the fans," Phillip pointed out with uncharacteristic empathy.

Eddie nodded. "Assuming they're still around when this crew gets through with them."

"We shud host in the Pagoda," Phillip suggested, referring to the stadium that had hosted Sorthern Northland in the last qualifiers. Larger and more accessible, it would attract fans more enthusiastic, as it were, towards System Obani.

"I'm in no hurry," Peter sighed, "to think about the return leg."

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 37 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WONDERFUL VICTORY PLAYING AWAY

http://img452.imageshack.us/img452/2725/134232kp1.jpg
Toninho during the game

The first game, at home against New Brittonia, was positive for Cafundéu, which could start the World Cup qualifiers with three points. After the first game, the team went to play against the lowest ranked team of the group, away. The Monopolists couldn’t know what to expect, as they didn’t know much about Miroxia. But the team was confident in the ability of its players to get a good result, to get more important points.

If Cafundéu was fearing a surprise, the fear ended in the second minute of the game. After two fast attacks, Heitor scored twice and gave a good lead to the team in the beginning of the game. After that, the team only needed to control the result, and could score more goals, as opportunities appeared during all the game. The team played very well, and the supporters won some confidence, now thinking that the team is able to finish in the first position.

THE GAME

Cafundéu used its traditional offensive strategy, and started the game attacking with full strength. Miroxia’s team didn’t seem prepared to hold such a pressure, and conceded the goals in the first minutes of the game. In the first play, Anormal passed the ball to Heitor, who dribbled a player and shot to score. Less than one minute after, Tales shot from outside the area, the defender Quest blocked the ball and Heitor took the rebound, shooting and scoring another goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“Cafundéu with another strrrrrong attack. Rrrrrato with a fast pass to Tales, who looks at the goal. Prrrrreparrrrres, shoots... it hits Quest! The rrrrrebound goes to Heitor, he finds some space to shoot, shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Let’s check it again in the rrrrreplay! Heitor, number eleven! Cafundéu one, Miroxia zerrrrro! Books for all tastes, only in Livrrrrrarrrrrias Bom Sucesso!”

After scoring two goals, Cafundéu continued with an offensive tactic system, but it attacked with less players. Miroxia, needing a better result, tried to attack, but the team wasn’t well organized. In a strange play, Gay, of Miroxia, was going to take a throw-in. Neto came and asked for the ball, and Gay surprisingly threw the ball to the Cafundelense midfielder. The other players of Miroxia complained with their team mate, who said that Neto seemed so nice that he thought that he was of his team.

In some counterattacks, Cafundéu continued dangerous. The Monopolists had a chance with Rato, who invaded the area using his speed and shot at the goal. Unfortunately, the ball went wide. But there was still time for more goals. Arnolds lost the ball and Anormal could start a play. The ball reached Heitor inside the area, who dribbled the goalkeeper McRod and entered inside the goal with the ball, scoring his third goal in the game.

http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/1351/061218jeangoleirovd2.jpg
Lauro makes an easy save

With a good advantage in the game, Braddock decided to add one defensive midfielder in the team, to win more ball possession and control the game. The strategy worked, as Cafundéu controlled the ball with so much ability that Miroxia couldn’t get the ball for ten minutes. During that time, Cafundéu had two good chances. One with Vergara, who sent the ball wide, and other with Rato, who invaded the area and shot. The ball hit the post.

Miroxia could even start a play later. But, once again, the attack was very unorganized. Spout passed the ball to Aztec, who could dribble Eduardo Monte. Then, Aztec passed the ball back to Spout, but the midfielder wasn’t in the attacking area anymore. The ball just went for a goal kick. Later, Léo Mattos ran to the attack and crossed the ball to the area. Anormal headed the ball to Heitor, who shot it when the ball was still in the air, scoring a beautiful goal.

Braddock made more changes in the team to control the ball. The supporters of Cafundéu were excited with the good performance and started to shout the names of the players and staff members, praising them. The help of the fans motivated the Monopolists, who were still able to score a last goal in the game. Anormal suffered a foul near the entrance of the area. Neto shot it perfectly, scoring the last goal of the game. Read Breno Gavião:

“Ball held in the midfield with Carrrrrioca, he can pass the ball to one of the wingers. The ball goes to Toninho, he drrrrribbles Ronalds, passes the ball to Anorrrrrmal. The giant rrrrruns over Casino, is going to shoot... is fouled by Lee. Rrrrred carrrrrd to the player. Neto prrrrreparrrrres... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! The rrrrreplay is coming! Neto, number ten! Cafundéu five, Miroxia zero! Pet Shop Cachorrrrrrrrada, the best for your dogs!”

AFTER THE GAME

The players were extremely happy with the good result, and talked to the reporters with a smile on their face. The coach Franz Braddock, who had the full confidence of the directors, now has the confidence of the players too. He said: “Excellent game. The team worked well in all areas and I’m really happy for them. Miroxia wasn’t in a good day too, that’s why we were able to score so many goals. I decided to defend more in the second half. Maybe we could score more goals if I put Dário in the team instead of Vergara, for example.”

Heitor said to the reporters: “Four goals in one game. Nothing bad, don’t you think? I had some very good opportunities to score and I’m glad that I could take advantage of most of them. It’s an important thing for a striker like me, and for the team too.” The midfielder Carioca said: “This result is to show our strength. Now the other teams will know what they are going to face. We aren’t a easy team to defeat.”

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/3619/lusabancobanifpj2.jpg
Miroxia players preparing a wall to defend from a free kick

MIROXIA 0x5 CAFUNDÉU

Place: unknown, in Miroxia.
Attendance: unknown.
Referee: Emiliano Pelenghi (St Samuel).
MOTM: Heitor (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/miroxia.png MIROXIA: McRod; North, Lee and Quest; Gay (Casino 45’), Ronalds, Arnolds (Test 60’) and Spout; Aztec, South (Northberg 60’) and Alston.
Coach: Greg Bolsoki.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Lauro; Léo Mattos, Toninho (Carioca 80’), Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Rato and Neto; Tales (Wilson Magrão 70’), Heitor and Flecha (Vergara 45’).
Coach: Franz Braddock.

Goals:CAF: Heitor 1’/2’/44’/67’ , Neto 86’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Jariss: Lauro; Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Rato and Neto; Tales, Heitor and Flecha.
Coach: Franz Braddock.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Tina Renon (Bettia).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers after 2 games:

4- Heitor
1- Neto, Léo Mattos and Souza

Video room of the Landau Institute. Filled with supporters of the National Team, patients and doctors. One of these doctors is Professor Arnaldo Vermelho, one of the most respected surgeons of the whole Institute. Two nurses come to talk with him:

NURSE 1 - "Professor Vermelho, we need to talk with you."

PROF. VERMELHO - "Not now, lady. I'm watching the game. Estresse Intenso is playing against Az-cz and the game is still goalless. We are playing well, maybe we can surprise them."

NURSE 2 - "But this is an urgent situation."

PROF. VERMELHO - "Nothing is so urgent that will make me miss the game. I'll see the whole game and nothing will stop me. Look, the monk got the ball, he has got some ability, look, he dribbled one player... lost the ball."

NURSE 2 - "But, Professor, we need you!"

PROF. VERMELHO - "Look at Selic... this guy is good. He shoots... wide. Uh, what did you say?"

NURSE 2 - "I said that we need you!"

PROF. VERMELHO - "For what?"

NURSE 1 - "Do you know Doctor Frederico Moura?"

PROF. VERMELHO - "Of course! He is one of my best friends."

NURSE 2 - "So we have bad news for you. He went to the city to talk with some politicians from outside the Institute..."

PROF. VERMELHO - "What? Is he working outside the Institute? What an idiot... I'd prefer to be a patient than to have to leave the Institute to work!"

NURSE 1 - "So, he went there and suffered an accident."

PROF. VERMELHO - "Come on, defend the team, they'll shoot... good save, Varela! So, what did you say?"

NURSE 1 - "I said that he suffered an accident."

PROF. VERMELHO - "Really? How sad. Is he okay?"

NURSE 2 - "Someone shot him. This happens all the time in the cities of Estresse Intenso."

PROF. VERMELHO - "Yes. Is he okay?"

NURSE 1 - "We were able to get him, but he needs an urgent surgery to survive. So, we need you to come with us to save your friend."

PROF. VERMELHO - "No way. I want to watch the game. It's still in the first half, eleventh minute. I don't want to lose the game to work."

NURSE 2 - "But Professor, he needs the surgery, he can die!"

PROF. VERMELHO - "As I said, nothing will make me lose the game. It's against Az-cz, it's important!"

NURSE 1 - "But it's the life of a friend..."

PROF. VERMELHO - "It's a National Team game, lady. This is special. Go, Zetti, pass the ball to Sabin."

NURSE 2 - "So you won't help us?"

PROF. VERMELHO - "I didn't say that. Keep him alive, and I'll make the surgery at halftime."

NURSE 1 - "But there is still thirty minutes of game in the first half."

PROF. VERMELHO - "So, keep him alive for thirty minutes."

NURSE 1 - "He can die, Professor. Think of that."

PROF. VERMELHO - "I have decided. Think with me: there is a possibility that he survives even if I wait for halftime. But there isn't a possibility that I'll see the game if I make the surgery now. This is your only hope. Keep him alive and I'll do something during halftime."

NURSE 2 - "He needs the surgery now..."

PROF. VERMELHO - "The Institute is an advanced facility. I'm sure that you have machines that will keep him alive. When the halftime comes, I'll make some small procedures to keep him alive for more time, then I'll return to see the remaining of the game, and finally I'll make the surgery when the game ends. Is that okay?"

(the nurses leave, furious with the situation. Professor Vermelho sees the first goal of Estresse Intenso, scored by Matoso)

News items from the Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo) Examiner.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/examiner.gif

HAPPY OUTCOME TO BOOBOOK DISPUTE
OWLS GET HIGH ON TRANSMISSIONS

With the assistance of interpreters from the Animal Languages (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Animal_Languages) Department of the McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge) Polytechnic the Magistrate (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera#Mayors_and_Magistrates) of Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo), roberth, and a delegation of boobook owls held talks on ways to resolve the problems caused by the birds nesting on mobile telephone masts around the village. According to the leader of the boobook delegation, whose name is best translated as “disemboweller of small furry creatures”, the owls like the masts because the transmissions get them tripping. “It’s far out, man,” said a happy disemboweller, “these towers are really cosmic.”

Negotiations were unfruitful until it was decided to continue the meeting well away from any mobile phone masts. Once the owls had settled down, disemboweller pointed out that Errinundrian (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) law prohibited any disturbance of raptor nests without the express permission of the home-owners. roberth offered to install special structures on the towers where the owls could build their nests and get totally wacked on the microwaves without interfering with local reception. All parties expressed their satisfaction with this solution.

Local bloodsucking (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera#Bloodsucking) champion, carneck, did voice some reservations, however. “It’s great to be able to watch all the World Cup (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_37) matches on our mobile phones but I’m not sure about that guy’s name. I mean, disemboweller of small furry creatures? It’s not really in keeping with a spirit of harmony with nature. What would the potoroos (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera#Animal) think?”

ERRINUNDERA’S WEATHER RECOGNISED

The United Nations (http://www.nationstates.net/19338/page=un) today recognised that Errinundera has some of the best weather in the world. Indeed we are ranked 456th out of 75,100 nations. We spoke with draino, a forecaster with the Bureau of Meteorology who was enthusiastic about the accolade. “Our weather is perfect for temperate rainforests: cold winters with lots of rain; who could ask for anything more?” draino was also enthusiastic about the current spring weather. "Rainfall levels are up – just look at the proliferation of leeches at the moment – the trees have healthy new growth, and there’s mud everywhere. Truly, we live in paradise.”

LOCAL STAR IN INJURY SETBACK
POTOROOS QUAK THEIR BUSH

Hero of the match against Nebuleux (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=nebuleux), aptai, has been sidelined for at least a month after seriously tearing a hamstring early in the match against Quakmybush (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Quakmybush). Speaking on return to her home here in Fanny Moo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fanny_Moo), aptai was philosophical about the setback. “These things happen. I’ve been pleased with my form this season, especially playing for Ootopia (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ootopia) in the Premier League (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_Football_Association) but there’s not much I can do. This too shall pass. There’s some important matches coming up that I was looking forward to: the Potoroos (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029927&postcount=7) against the Archregimancy (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Archregimancy) – always a hoot and I was hoping to meet Father David (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Father_David_of_the_Woods%2C_formerly_known_as_owiavi) – and Ootopia (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ootopia)has crucial games against Bonang (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Bonang) and Delegate (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Delegate%2C_Errinundera). It’s not the same watching from the stands.”

aptai is pleased with the way the Potoroos (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13029927&postcount=7) have begun their World Cup (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_37) campaign. “You can’t sneer at two wins from two games. For sure, we need to tighten up our defensive game – rosaniel (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rosaniel) is not happy that we have conceded three goals in two matches. All the same, the QMBs (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Quakmybush) are a good side and playing in front of their supporters is a hairy experience. We had winners in each sector of the field: scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu), agloir (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Agloir) and aryayre (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Aryayre); and it was good to see some of the younger players showing their wares. I was especially pleased with catsuku (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Catsuku): she’s got a good footballing brain. I’m looking forward to playing more games alongside her."

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/catsuku.png
A thoughtful catsuku after the game against Quakmybush

TEAM SELECTION FOR THE MATCH AGAINST JERU FC

Forwards: breretond (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Breretond), avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou), immelfar (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Immelfar), sanoo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sanoo) (sub)
Midfielders: agloir (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Agloir) (dvc), henyua, catsuku (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Catsuku), iribu, aprikap (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Aprikap) (sub)
Backs: haimaidu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Haimaidu) (vc), aryayre (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Aryayre), eboshiadu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Eboshiadu), froesu (sub)
Keeper: oyavereig, readnough (sub)

Out: scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) (rested), aptai (hamstring), ikasa (rested), onito (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Onito) (rested)
In: sanoo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sanoo), aprikap (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Aprikap), haimaidu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Haimaidu), oyavereig

Venue: Delegate Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Delegate_Stadium), Delegate (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Delegate%2C_Errinundera)



http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Quakmybush.png
Quakmybush 2
(Baker 37, Graves 53)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 3
(breretond (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Breretond) 23, scerberu (http://http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) 56 & 60)

(leighm medal votes: agloir (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Agloir) 3, scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) 2, catsuku (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Catsuku) 1)

Errinundera's WC37 scorers:
scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) 4
breretond (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Breretond) 2
avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou) 1

leighm medal tally:
scerberu (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Scerberu) 4
agloir (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Agloir) 3
aptai 3
avilmou (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Avilmou) 1
catsuku (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Catsuku) 1

The Minya Post-Dispatch
"Your Eye on the Capital Region"

FIT TO BE TIED
Warriors snatch point: 1-1

The Warriors had the spirit, the drive, and over 85,000 people behind them to win this game. But, the play of Aurendia's Stephane Cloutier, and the miscues of the boys in this high octane encounter, only allowed for a 1-1 draw at the 'Drome. The Warriors started out of the gate, after getting pasted by N. Bettia the other night, in a hurry to redeem themselves. A giveaway by Aurendia's Pierre Pons to Quinn Harris. Harris goes sprinting down the sideline,crosses the ball to a streaking Estrada, whose header got tapped away by Cloutier.

The pressure kept mounting. Warwick blasted one off the bar in the 10th minute. Lewis who would drill a free kick off the post, only for Estrada to knock it wide. It would be that kind of night for the Wariors. However, it would be Aurendia that would break the deadlock. Michel Papin took the ball at midfield. would thread a pass to Jean-Claude Dutroux. Dutroux wolud fight off Dean Waklin, and slot the ball past a diving Greg Sinise for the first goal at the half hour.

The match remained a defensive struggle until the 80th minute. Warewick would pick off Pons, and flick the ball to Lewis. Lewis makes a move toward center, and whip a curling shot that had Cloutier beat, and bounce off the woowork and into the net to tie it up. Mike Keltner nearly became a hero in injury time, when he would take a loose ball outside the area, and drill a missle that Cloutier, who had been spectacular all night, parried away.

"Well, we can play this game over and over, " gaffer Ray Palen explained. "A hot keeper will beat anyone. As you saw tonight, we were just unlucky." The Warriors have Vuam and Isma at the Sockie in Godzilla.

The lineups and strat the same as MD 2

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Wehrmacher.pngWehrmacher || 0 - 0 || Daehanjeigukhttp://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Daehanjeiguk.png

http://www.soccerblog.com/images/Chun%20Soo%20Lee.jpg


This special presentation brought to you by MBC International Sports! Now to our hosts, Yi Hyori and Jo Myeongae.

趙明愛: Well, it was another draw away from home, but at least we got some other points on the board besides the simple conciliatory point. Yi Dongguk's solitary goal on Wehrmacher held the Imperial Team on high until a late equalizer in the 68th minute spoiled the chance for a shut-out and a win. With me today is Head Coach Cha Beomgeun. Cha, it's such a great pleasure to have you with us.

車範根: The pleasure is all mine.

趙明愛: Tell me, Cha. What's going on? Why all of the draws?

車範根: Well, I can assure the fans that the players are giving their best effort. It's been a long time away from international football, and it's been some time since they were teammates. Many of the players had competed against one another in the NFL Season, and for that reason, there's not as much cohesion in the ranks as there was in our first tour. I'm hoping that we will be settling in our best posture, as we really can't afford many more draws. Fortunately, the top two teams -Casari and Oliverry - also drew their matches, so the divide isn't as great. But like it was last tour, one game was enough to put out of World Cup Qualification, and I'd hate to see the same thing happen this tour.

趙明愛: Well, we seem to get the cohesion factor. That's pretty important for a team after all. But who would you say is performing the best?

車範根: Kim Yongdae is still recovering from his season in Cafundeu, so I'm putting out Kim Ho for the time being. I personally think he's the one factor keeping this team together. And I haven't been making too many substitutions, so not enough of the players are getting their chance to shine, and some of the others will be tired. Granted, I will be changing aspects of my strategy if we continue to draw, especially after our match against Oliverry.

趙明愛: Speaking of which, the Imperial team will be traveling there tomorrow. Who do you think will win?

車範根: Well, to be honest, if it weren't any other situation, I'd say that the team would be proud to pull out a draw against them. But at this point, we need some points to cover our ground, and we can't afford too many draws. Of course Oliverry is the higher seed, but we've seen and proven that the seeds don't always compute to what you want them to say. I'm hoping for a win, but if I can't have that, I'll fight for a draw.

趙明愛: Well, thank you Cha for your time. I'll let you go back to the team!

車範根:Thank you, Jo.

趙明愛: Well, Yi will be meeting us next time in Oliverry, so until then, here's your weekly prescribed Learn Our Land installment!

====LEARN OUR LAND====
=당신의 우리땅을 배우십시오=

Today, we travel to the great and venerable city of Lasa. Built over many centuries, Lasa is the traditional holy city of Seojang Province, a site where many Buddhist pilgrims flock from all around the country to celebrate Buddha's Birthday (August 4). A city of approximately 250,000 people and an average elevation at about 3000 meters, it is one of the highest urban centers in the world. But we'll let the pictures speak for us tonight.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/81/Potala_from_W.jpg http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b0/Lhasa_from_Potala.JPG/800px-Lhasa_from_Potala.JPG

Kiryu-shi Shocks Favorites

By Rebecca Doig

Sakaino, Kiryu-shi Capitalizt SLANI lost one game in the entire World Cup 36, the semifinal match against Errinundera. Of course, the Unified Capitalizt States hosted the Cup, so SLANI played most of their matches in their home country, and did not have to go through qualifiers. This time, their first loss came a good deal earlier, against a much less prestigious opponent. Either way, SLANI was expected to defeat Kiryu-shi, and, at worst, tie. When the final whistle blew, and the scoreboard read, Kiryu-shi: 3, Capitalizt SLANI: 2, both teams looked shocked.

____It was a pretty wild affair from the beginning. 11 minutes into the first half, Kiryu-shi scored the opening goal when Pat Mayberry made an excellent move on the right wing, feinting past defender ʼWon Li-hwan into the penalty box. He faked a shot, fooling Abúndia Tqaperena, the keeper, and passed it to Hellen Gandy, who scored with a virtually empty net. The fake shot worked so well because Mayberry’s white shoe flew off his foot towards the corner of the net; Tqaperena caught the shoe as the real ball flew by the stunned keeper. Just one minute later, however, SLANI recovered to score a goal of their own. Following the kick-off, they controlled the ball around their midfield and, showing their incredible talent, completely took apart the Kiryu-shi defense with a series of short quick passes. Judith Pérez found Javier Lewis making a run from the left side without a single defender on him, and Lewis converted the one on one against Jon Crow quite easily, toeing a ball into the lower left corner. Kiryu-shi raced the ball back to the center line, and within 20 seconds, they had their lead back. Doug LeBlanc, instead of lining up on the defensive line for the kick-off, snuck up behind Pat Mayberry on the right side. When Gandy passed the ball back to Gregory Iverson, LeBlanc launched himself diagonally across the field towards the goal, while Mayberry sprinted up the right side. Iverson knocked the ball up and over the unprepared SLANI midfielders, and the ball bounced awkwardly past several defenders, and all of a sudden it was LeBlanc and Tqaperena alone with the ball bouncing in between them. Tqaperena reached the ball first, but the keeper kicked the ball instead of picking it up, and it deflected off LeBlanc’s gut and bounced all the way back into the net. LeBlanc had the air knocked out of him, and had to leave the game for a few minutes, but he had scored the go ahead goal. Unfortunately, because he was missing, SLANI took their second goal, pushing all four forwards up and dominating Kiryu-shi’s defense. Roy Hartenholm took a long shot that was just deflected away by Jon Crow with an acrobatic diving save, but Morten Wiedemeyer swooped in to deposit the rebound into the net before any defender could clear it out. In the 16th minute, it was tied two-two, and the game looked like it was going to be a mad shootout. However, both teams adjusted their formations to be more defensive, it seemed. Kiryu-shi dropped Iverson back into the defensive line, and kept him their even when LeBlanc returned. SLANI seemed slightly less aggressive as well, as their all out attack was a little slower and more cautious than before till the end of the first half. SLANI kept up the attack though, and had many more shots than Kiryu-shi did in the first 45 minutes.

____SLANI came out of the halftime break going for the jugular. They launched attack after attack at the Kiru-shi back line, but Kiryu-shi held strong. They packed the defensive line in front of the goal, with Mayberry and Diamanti playind defensively as well. Emily Boyle, who came in for McGee, was the only one making any runs downfield, and Kiryu-shi seemed to be fighting to keep it a draw. SLANI pressed even more forward, pushing even several of there defenders up to attempt to score a goal. Eventually, it resembled a pinball game with SLANI hitting the ball at the goal, and Kiryu-shi deflecting it away. In the 83rd minute, however, something incredible happened. With eight members of SLANI on Kiryu-shi’s half, Iverson got his foot on a loose ball and launched it across the pitch. Emily Boyle, who spent most of the half loitering around the half line, was suddenly racing down the field with two defenders chasing her and in possession of the ball. She managed to feint past the goalie, and basically dribbled the ball into the net to put Kiryu-shi up by one point with a few minutes left to play. Bruce Lewis put in defenders Matty Truth-Hoffman and Martin Jones to replace Mayberry and Diamanti, making it basically an 8-1-1 formation for the final minutes of the match, and Kiryu-shi hung on to their biggest upset in their international football history.

____Kiryu-shi will move on to play Miceland in their first away game. Miceland lost convincingly to Squornshelous in their last match, and are 0-2 in their first two matches. Squornshelous heads the group with their two wins, while Kiryu-shi and the surprising Recluse Island team both have a win and a tie. Vikingholm upset Swilatia, and so there are three teams with one win and one loss. Kiryu-shi are in good position early on, though, and they should win a few more matches if they play like they did against the SLANI team. Now, all they need to play with a good amount of consistency, and not lose their concentration like they did in the Recluse Island match.

"So who made the fixtures?" said the Chairman. He was not particularly pleased at the errors in the initial scheduling, requiring a re-write by his Ad'ihan counterpart.

"It was made by the program writer, sir," came the reply from the board member handling the issue. "He's another of these Terrans, from Bedistan."

"From Bedistan? Where is that?"

"Well, it used to exist. Its old land is occupied by the government body known as the 'Unified Capitalist States', which has two teams competing here."

The Chairman sighed, having been previously briefed on the oddity that allowed such an exception, though he had to give it to their people for at least getting away from the abject nationalism that most other Terrans seemed to follow.

"Remember, men" he said, "To err is Terran. We have the problem fixed, now let's see how the matches are going, and who we'll have to put on a good show for."

OOC: RP cutoff for MD3. The scores are (to be linked here)

"NO.. FUCK..GAODDAMMIT... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING OVER HERE FOR? THAT WAS A FUCKING FLOP!!!" Coach Fowler yelled from the sidelines as Candelaria And Marquez scored late to tie the match at 1-1.

'Oh crap, another 20 minutes of yelling and a long practice tomorrow' thought Ty Reed as the final whistle blew and the Pheonix began heading towards the locker room.

"That was a bullshit call by that fuckin' Sel Appan Ref. I swear if we see him again, a free kick is going right into his balls." mumbled Ty Revee, the person the foul setting up the tying goal mumbled.

"Dude, I know it sucks, but come on, it's still early in the qualifers" Ty Reed said to him in the tunnel.

"Shove that shit up your asshole, newbie, We're 0-1-1 at home, and now we got to go on the road for the next two weeks. I ain't used to losing at home." Revee replied, shoving Reed out of his way.

'I SWEAR TO GOD IF WE GET THAT REFEREE AGAIN I'LL KICK HIM IN THE BALLS, I GOT THE MONEY TO PAY THE FINE, AND BESIDES A COUPLE GAME WITHOUT ME, YOU'LL BE BEGGING FOR ME BACK." Bellowed Fowler as he entered the locker room. "REVEE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, NEXT TIME WE PLAY THESES GUYS, CHEAP SHOT THAT SOMABITCH THAT FLOPPED, AT LEAST IF YOU GET CARDED GET YOUR MONEYS WORTH. EXTRA HOUR OF PRACTICE TOMMOROW GUYS AND GALS, WE CAN'T LOSE OUR CONSENTRATION LIKE THAT, NOW WITH THE JERUSELEM GAME COMING UP."

"What a prick, " mumbled someone, whom Reed couldn't hear.

'WHO FUCKING SAID THAT? I KNOW ONE OF YOU FUCKERS SAIUD IT, I AIN'T DEAF... SO NO ONE SAID IT HUH? EXTRA 2 HOURS OF PRACTICE TOMMORROW, AT 5 AM NOW." Yelled Fowler. "YOU WANNA TRY FOR 3 HOURS? KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUT."

Reed went over to Yuzuki Haraguchi and waited for her to stop talking with Doreen Williams.

"Zuki, wanna hang out tonight? Got the movie 300 from home in the mail last night." Asked Ty

"Sure, see you at around 8?" Yuzuki replied, as she and the few women on the team headed fro the ladies showers.

"Dude, that Zuki is one fine piece of ass, you gonna nail it?" asked Tim Brauer, the only other new guy on the team.

"What? man it's only a movie, we at dating or anything." Blushed Ty.

"Dude, You frickin like her, do ya... NEWBS GOT A CRUSH!!" Yelled Brauer heading into the men's showers.

"Crap, should a waited until later..." skulked Ty.

GOALS:
Qazox:
Fry: 65'
Candelaria And Marquez:
Yasser Zaghloul: 91' (PK)



NsWiki for Qualifers: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Qazox_at_World_Cup_37_Qualifing

PRUXTON PRESS

Snap Crackle and Pop

The Crescent Republic came back from a 2-0 half time deficit to stunningly drew the Prawns 2-2, despite Prux's 17-4 shot advantage, and that TCR was a man down for the last 30 minutes.

Snap: 007 snapped homehis 3rd goal of the qualifiers into the net in the 16th minute, giving the crowd something to cheer about, while Pies R. Round scored in the 40th minute making it 2-0.

Crackle: Red Herring's scoreless streak was crackled just 2 minutes into the 2nd half as TCR managed to slip past Bill Fold and crack one through his fingers.

Pop: the sound that Pies R. Round's pan?/leg? made on a hard tackle in the 60th minute, giving TCR's midfeilder a red card, and sending off Pie. In his place was Pastrami, who misplayed a throw in, leading to the tying goal in the 85th minute.

Pies R. Round had this to say about his injury:
Ed note: He can't say anything seeing that he is a pie.

Prux' Scoring this match:
007: 16'
Pies R. Round: 40'

Prux' Overall scoring:
007: 3
The Sphinx: 1
Pies R. Round: 1

The next match is against Wentland, one of the top teams in the World. There are no tickets available for the match, as this was the 1st game to be sold-out. The Prawns are not expected to do well, but on the pitch anything can happen.

Farewell To A Legend!

SLOWLY but, oh most surely, we all slip into the pages of history.

On Tuesday evening it was the turn of the sublime Ian Harrier – the man whose shot echoed around the footballing world in 1988.
It was his 61st minute goal, a sweetly struck shot with his weaker right foot, which humbled mighty Dovent F.C and helped send the Commonwealth Cup back to an almost disbelieving Solenial on the back of a never-to-be-forgotten 1-0 win.
Dovent – one of the best sides in the Pacific, never mind the Commonwealth – had been racing certainties to cruise past their Second Division opponents and the shock upset provided one of the most memorable finals in Commonwealth Cup history.
It's a game which has echoed resoundingly down the years, remaining in the memory of millions long after other Commonwealth Cup finals which have followed have been largely forgotten.
Now, sadly, Harrier is gone, robbed from friends and family by cancer at the tragically premature age of 61. "No age at all," as Diego Navi reflected this week with a slow shake of his head.
The Sol is the first of the Commonwealth Cup-winning team to follow charismatic manager Andy Williams, who died in 2004, at the somewhat poignant age of 73.

Solenial 1-2 The HURD

Solenial's winning run of well... one, came to an end against The HURD - but the better team lost.

Goals in either half were enough for The HURD to grab all three points in a great game of football.

Van Frigh had numerous attempts on goal, hitting the woodwork three times and getting off shot after shot.

In the end though it was Beas King who got a goal back in the 88th Minute, but there was no way of getting back now.

After King's brilliant lob beat The HURD Goalkeeper, Van Frigh dominated the rest of the game, with Shorez and even Goalkeeper Palema hitting the post.

Senna had another chance to pull one back, but his header was cleared off the line.

From the resulting corner, Senna had another header cleared off the line!

Match Facts:

Solenial

Goals: 1
Shots: 9
Shots on Target: 8
Fouls: 1
Yellow Cards: 0
Red Cards: 0
Possesion: 49%

The HURD

Goals: 2
Shots: 14
Shots on Target: 11
Fouls: 4
Yellow Cards: 1
Red Cards: 0
Possesion: 51%

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/kirkenescourier-new.png

SPORT/FOOTBALL WORLD CUP
Goalless draw gives first point for Kelssek


http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/wc37-1.jpg
Kelssek put up a wall against Yafor 2's attack to secure their first point in a 0-0 draw at Skydome last night

It was a tepid display and it was a good thing the fans at the Skydome were more occupied singing and chanting than with watching football, because there really wasn't much going on at pitch level. Still, Kelssek now have secured their first point after three qualifiying games after a goalless draw against Yafor 2.

Defending certainly played its part and to a large extent it was the hard work of the Kelssekian back four which won the game, with CF Outineau's Pierre-Luc Dubois the star of the day, winning some crucial tackles to stall a stronger team - although it must be noted, of course, that most football teams are stronger than Kelssek's.

It was a much better display than the 4-0 blowout in Neorvins, yet remarkably Kelssek are still without a goal in the tournament so far, a subject of some concern for the coaching staff. Manager Gregory Babcock acknowledged this, but said, "so far, we've played against the three strongest opponents in our group, so it's not that worrying that we've been shut out. It will only be a problem if we continue to be unable to score."

The opposition will get easier before getting tough again, with the next match against Candelaria and Marquez in Outineau still one that the Beavers are unlikely to win. Kelssek will be expected to beat Billopesia, Miamoria, and Rastafariburg, however, if this campaign is to be considered a success.

"It's all about building and progressing," said Babcock, "that's what our goal is."

____

"Scoring more goals means you win, right?" Bob the Bookie enquired.

"Yes, boss. It's just like hockey, rugby, water polo, Etnierian mountainside cricket... and in fact almost any other sport."

"But lower scores in swimming are better! You're trying to make a fool of me, aren't you?"

"Boss, in swimming, you're racing. Lower times mean you were faster, so you win if you're faster."

"What about golf? All those numbers and pluses and minuses."

Not wanting to further confuse or infuriate his boss, one of the more knowledgable goons said, "You're racing in golf too. That's why they have those buggy things."

"Goddamn it!" said Bob, "Alright. So no goals is bad, right?" His goons nodded vigourously. "Jack up the odds against Kelssek for the rest of the matches."

"But boss, the opponents in the next few matches will be wea-"

"Just do it!" Bob the Bookie yelled, causing him to accidentally swallow his gob of chewing gum and erupt into a fit of choking.

The Jeruselem team were back at home and had won their game against Billopesha. Dinkie Dosha had a quite game while the villain of last game Hikfie Dallas played the game of her life so far, probably to save her own positon. She was back the good books for the Princess while the captain Dinkie was struggling. Dinkie decided to have a chat to her hero Dazza Dallas after the game. Dazza was hanging around a bar at her own nightclub Kinky Kitties.

Dinkie: Dazza! I need help.
Dazza: What's the problem there Dinkie? Need a man! I get a few for you.
Dinkie: No no! Not that.
Dazza: So why are you here sleazing around with the Bike then.

Dinkie: I think I'm going to lose the Captaincy.
Dazza: Just because dopey lost the game in Yafor 2 for you, don't worry.
Dinkie: No, I don't I'm handling the pressure too well.
Dazza:
Are you scared Kate will steal your position then? She is a Dallas, she's ambitious just her Mum here. Well, you have to believe in yourself. Sure, Kate might have a knife in your back but remember she's doing for the nation. If a leader is not performing, she's going to act. Did you see Dopey today? Look what Dopey did. She knew she did a disservice to the team and that made her stronger.

Dinkie: I just have dig in then?
Dazza: Yeah, be strong! You're lucky. Once upon a time, my mother was a dancer in place like this and I was a little girl living a small room with just a teddy bear and some clothes with my sister. Now, I own the place and treat my girls well. Look, if you can't cope - give Kate the Captaincy.
Dinkie: Yes, I must lift my game or give the responsibility to someone who wants it.
Dazza: Trust me, been there done that. Kate isn't been disloyal - she is the Crown Princess and wants the best for the team. She's a political creature now.

Dinkie: I'm going to talk to the team and apologise for not being a leader. I think I need to do that for those who doubt me.
Dazza: Do what you think is right.
Dinkie: Yes, well - I must do better.
Dazza: Hey, want a drink!

Dinkie: No no, I don't drink. Thanks anyway.
Dazza: What about a vegetarian cocktail! No alcohol.
Dinkie: OK
Dazza: Bartender, give this girl the vegetarian special.

Bartender: Yes boss.

<Dinkie drinks the "vegetarian special">

Dazza: Good isn't it?
Dinkie: Oh yes, I feel better already.
Dazza: I prefer Screwdivers though
Dinkie: Thanks for supporting me.

Recluse Island Remain Undefeated

Recluse Island gained a valuable point from Vikingholm, drawing 3-all in an entertaining 3rd round match.

Jose Pedro dos Santos Neto opened the scoring in the 14th minute, stealing the ball from Vikingholm defender Ketil Flatnose and managing to put the shot past the Vikingholm goalkeeper.

However, Vikingholm would equalize only 4 minutes later through striker Þorstein the Red, who powerfully headed a Harold Bluetooth cross into the Recluse Island net. Vikingholm would soon take the lead when Þorfinn Karlsefni smashed home a long distance strike, full of power.

The opportunity for Recluse Island to equalize occured in the 52nd minute when Bjorn Ironside brought down Niclas Kjaer just outside the penatly area, where Jose Sierra managed to hit a superb free-kick, which hit the crossbar, then came off Vikingholm goalkeeper Sigurd the Mighty's head, before landing in the back of the net.

Vikingholm substitute Freydis Eiríksdottir got Vikingholm ahead again, after he smashed the ball past the Recluse Island defence. Recluse Island would manage to seal the draw in the 74th minute, when Pavel Nykl rose above the Vikingholm defenders on a corner, and headed the ball into the back of the net.

The result leaves Recluse Island undefeated and with 5 points from 3 matches in the group, but is still yet to play group favourites Capitalizt SLANI and Squornshelous.

News items from the Delegate (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Delegate%2C_Errinundera) Daily News.

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STEADY AS SHE GOES IN MAYORAL ELECTIONS

Results from yesterday’s Mayoral elections here in Delegate yesterday show that voters are generally happy with the state of local government. Of the 30 positions up for grabs the latest count indicates that candidates with generally collectivist platforms have won 17 positions, environmentalists 10, independents 2 and 1 still too close to call, although sewnham, a green, is ahead in counting for the doubtful Mayoralty. This will represent a net gain of 1 seat to the collectivists.

Biggest winner was noonawn who romped home in Electoral District 23 with 71% of the vote. The popular convenor of the area’s food distribution collective puts his success down to his community involvement. “Our collective has the lowest prices for basic necessities in the whole of the city. People can see that I get things done, not only in our store but also in the Delegate Football Club, the Sewerage Distribution Network and Schools for Children with Special Needs Program.”

DELEGATE DELEGATES DELEGATE

Due to the Mayoral elections, the city’s two members on the National Junior Football Development Committee were forced to send proxies to the committee’s annual conference held in the national capital, First Creek Falls. To be honest, this isn’t a very newsworthy item but we couldn’t resist the headline.

LOCAL STARS INAUGURATE NEW FOOTBALL STADIUM

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Delegate3.jpg

Delegate hosted its first ever international match today at the Delegate Stadium when Errinundera took on Jeru FC, a sort of Jeruselem second eleven. The city celebrated the event by holding a trade union parade and a pre-game performance by the Delegate Erotic Dance Company entitled simply, “Love”. Both the parade and the dance were warmly received by the crowd.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/TradeUnionBanners.jpg
Members of the Amalgamated Metal Workers
Union gather prior to the parade. Potoroo star
eboshiadu, as General Manager of the Delegate
Steel Works Co-operative, is a member of the
union.

The game itself was a one-sided affair – to be expected when the World’s #4 side plays the reserves team of the World’s #11 side. The win was particularly satisfying for Errinundrians as all the Jeru FC players are members of the Jeruselem military. Despite several top players being rested for the game the Potoroo defence and midfield were completely on top of their opponents with only two shots on goal allowed.

At the front end of the pitch, the absence of scerberu saw the Potoroos score fewer goals than pundits predicted. The four designated forwards, including local player sanoo, who came on in 55th minute, each scored a goal in the 4-nil victory.

Highlight of the day was sanoo’s goal which involved the three local Forest Spirit players. eboshiadu intercepted a pass between January and December (actually it was Embdown but it was wayward) and sent a booming, beautifully placed pass to henyua in the forward half; henyua flicked it on the volley across the field to sanoo who slammed it, on the full, past the Jeru FC goalie, Honky. The eruption in the stadium was measured on seismographs at the Delegate University. Inspired by her local fans, henyua had a best on ground performance, being too busy and too skilful for her several JFC opponents.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Football21.jpg
henyua celebrates sanoo’s goal.

TEAM SELECTION FOR THE GAME AGAINST INTEGRITE

Forwards: scerberu, breretond, avilmou, immelfar (sub)
Midfielders: agloir (dvc), henyua, catsuku, iribu, aprikap (sub)
Backs: haimaidu (vc), aryayre, eboshiadu, froesu (sub)
Keepers: onito (c), oyavereig (sub)

In: scerberu, onito
Out: sanoo (rested), readnough (rested)

Venue: somewhere in Integrite

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 4
(avilmou 6, immelfar 37, breretond 46, sanoo 72)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Jeru_FC.png
Jeru FC nil

(leighm medal votes: henyua 3, haimaidu 2, eboshiadu 1)

Errinundera's WC37 scorers:
scerberu 4
breretond 3
avilmou 2
immelfar 1
sanoo 1

leighm medal tally:
scerberu 4
agloir 3
aptai 3
henyua 3
haimaidu 2
avilmou 1
catsuku 1
eboshiadu 1

Uir Spor Talavisin - Morning News

News Anchor: Today the Geese won 4-1 against Ambrose-Douglas. Okudil scored three times and Yonim scored once although by that time it was clearly unnescessary. Hulo let in one goal but at the time they had been winning 2-0 so it didn't matter. Thousands of Uranium Miners and their children gathered to watch as the Geese's offense pounded the Ambrose-Douglan team. Here is what the coach had to say:

Coach: I think that the team is doing well for their first cup. Yesterday's loss was a bit of a shocker but we've recovered nicely from it.

News Anchor: That's all for today's segment, thank you and see you at 3.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about, really," Timothy shrugged as the victorious team trekked off the field.

"What fuss?" asked Simon Ryne.

"...Case in point."

"I think I do," Gary drawled.

Timothy raised his eyebrows. The new forward hadn't played until that day, but got the starting slot as Peter sat out. "What?"

"What was the best play of the game?"

They pondered that as they headed into the locker room. "My goal," Simon Ryne finally said, to nobody's surprise.

"It was not," Andrew immediately rolled his eyes. "And I'm not going to say yours, either, Gary-Phillip's, maybe?"

"The best play was Aurendia's, actually," Roger suggested. "In my opinion, anyhow."

"Did you see how that midfielder placed the throw-in?" extolled Peter. "The defender was able to take it halfway up the field before anybody could stop him, and the forward knew exactly where he had to be to get the pass. Beautiful."

"Precisely," said Gary.

"So," Andrew asked, irritably, "have we established the point or not?"

"I think it's gone over the heads of most people here," Mal replied.

"Shame," shrugged Jacob. "Let's get to the airport, then. We going to Vuam or Isma? Or both?"

Jeremy Jaffacake took a deep breath, followed by a slightly resigned sigh, as Wentland's striker curled the ball effortlessly into the top corner from the penalty spot. He remembered how smoothly and easily the scoreboard ticked over in Elves Security Forces as their team put five past the Audioslavians. This time, at least the scoreboard reflected the dogged, awkward resistance his team had put up over the preceeding seventy minutes, as a rusty panel emblazoned with a large wobbly '2' was, with the pained screech of a rusty barn door, jolted into position below the 'Visitors' sign. To think that the scoreboard was probably the most technologically advanced contraption in Audioslavia's new 'national stadium' was enough to give Jeremy the uneasy feeling that his country had an awfully long uphill journey to make.

The unfinished stadium was both a work of art and a jarring elbow to the face of the concept of 'aesthetics'. The north 'stand' was exactly that, a standing area to north of the pitch scattered with bits of rusty scaffolding for fans to lean on. At least that stand was tiered. The south stand was simply a large patio with a capacity that depended entirely on the fans. How fat they were, and how tall the ones at the front were. The west stand was a seated one, if one could call them seats. The six-thousand stools that scattered the standscape were cynically looted from the wrecked remains of most of the nation's older stadiums, most of them razed to the ground as a result of the war. Of the punters that were lucky enough to get a seat with a folding backrest, most would find that they'd instead be forced to perch themselves precariously on top of the blasted contraption, the hinges melded into an ugly orange whole by years of oxidization. When the stand was full it would at least provide the sea of claret one would expect from an army of Audioslavian fans, but half-empty, as it was now, it was simply the most caucophanously unpleasing array of colours and hues that anyone could expect of an unpainted collage of the raped memorabilia of one-hundred and twenty-eight defunct football teams. The only saving grace of this west stand was that it was that, mercifully, it was half the size of the east stand, which was a two-tiered big brother to its opposite side and designed with the same sickening slapdash forgery, albeit for the large, white, wooden scoreboard that hung from its very top scaffold, with hinges operated by nervy patients of Doctor Nick Massingberd, a contemptuos prick who's ideas on curing patients with vertigo require something to be desired. Heroin, to be precise. The scoreboard's current inhabitant exchanged a breif nervy glance with Jeremy, before recommencing his usual position of grabbing every available handhold, praying, and waiting for updates in the score to be radioed in to him. Jeremy himself resumed his usual position. Pacing, pointing, shouting, all those 'being a manager' kind of things.

How Jeremy got the job of managing the national team god only knows. It was merely assumed, with Jeremy's gradual meddling with the affairs of a small team of youths and vagabonds that had congregated on that old field with a ball leather and not much to do, that he'd be taking charge of everything, from taking the cream of that rag-tag crop and finding other talented individuals to join his squad, to getting a stadium in order and forming a city-wide football league system with the help of the few other people who could remember what life was like before the war, in the heyday of the beautiful game. The city's government, initially wary of the idea of organized football (understandable really, as it had been an ancient footballing rivalry that had started the war in the first place), had accepted Jeremy's proposal for a sixteen-team, strictly amateur league, with no 'home grounds' or the sorts of headquarters that had become so sprawlingly imperial in its heraldry and history. All the teams would play, at alternate times, on one of the two pitches in the city. The matches would go live on the radio throughout Saturday from mid-day til the evening, with one game being shown on the nation's fledgling TV station that broadcast its snowy analogue signal to any of the ancient televisions that still had the nerve to work. It was, so far, a success, with twenty-seven teams forming within the first fortnight and several more soon after, allowing for proposals for two and three tiered league systems to be put forward for the coming years. It was near the end of this season where Jeremy had entered Audioslavia into the World Cup qualifiers, and the AAFA (Audioslavian Amateur Football Association) had come down on Jeremy like a ton of decidedly heavy bricks. Fearing widespread humilation by the professional ranks of a plethora of nations that, with all due respect, wouldn't have been fit to shine 'slavia's boots in the 'good old days', the AAFA had banned Jeremy from setting up such a team until, of course, they began to realise the economic potential of the national game, and the fact that, with the wheels already in motion, to be seen to back out now would lose Audioslavia the respect of the footballing world. After all, what else was Audioslavia than a nation almost solely devoted to bullishly pushing forward despite all its shortcomings, especially with regards to football? The AAFA, grudgingly, allowed Jeremy to enter a team of the best Audioslavians from the new league system. They had given him one mission, and one mission only. 'Don't get us humiliated, and come back with something'. 0-5 against ESF probably counted as a humiliation. 0-2 against Wentland didn't, at least not nowadays.

Jeremy was awakened from his daydream with a start. He noticed first that there seemed to be a small earthquake. The ground was shaking, and behind him, four-thousand Audioslavians were shouting and chanting. He looked up, and saw something so completely and utterly alien, yet at the same time eerily familiar, forgotten, and beautiful.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 1 (O`Connor 89)
Wentland 2 (Striker 56, 71)

Coda

Jeremy looked at the web-browser that had eaten his account of the Audioslavia-Satiaville debacle.
"You utter git" he thought. "Balls to it, i'll edit an annoyed aside into my last entry". He edit, typed, then clicked 'save', and wished he hadn't.

Professor Finkle and Luke Anderson were on a plane together towards the Peoples Democratic Socialist Republic of Ariddia.

"So this, Trevor Langhorn. What did you fiind about him?" asked Luke.

"Yes, a doctor of Archaelogy, apparently done a small book run of approximately 300 books. Done some interesting work here in Bazalonia recently, though it never said anything about where he was working."

"We've got anyone picking us up at the airport?"

"What do you expect this is? Some kind of Movie? He's too busy doing his work to care what some librarians want. That's all what he thinks of us, even though I am professor, and he's only a doctor."

"Is that academic classcism going?"

"You don't know the work I had to do to become a professor, compared to a doctorate is childs play. Well, okay so what's the plan?

"Well, he's working near the border of North-West Ariddia, but seeing as NWA is being unified into Ariddia proper it shouldn't be any sort issue getting to their and shouldn't a safety issue, it's not like there's a crime problem here."

"I see you made you of the smarttraveller website."

"Of course, we're primarily researchers always know what your getting into."

"Well, of course I know that Ariddia is also involved heaviy in the Worlc Cup and is one of the worlds best teams, if not the best."

"Firstly, they are ranked 1st so for theoretical purposes are the best and Bazalonia just beat Kristovenia."

"I can't believe it, these documents are amazing... I've been looking at these and the Bazalonian K..." Luke was sushed by the Professor.. "What?!"

"We're on a plane, our discussion is public, Academia is a very cutthroat business if someone steals our discovery, well you know what's going to happen?"

"What's going to happen?"

"All our work will be done for nothing and someone else will get all the glory."

"But surely it's all about finding the truth."

"Naive Luke, We'll take about that when we meet Trevor Langhorn."

After a few more hours our bookworms finally landed at an Ariddian International Airport. After going through Customs fairly easily they organised a hire car and started to head off to find the doctor.

However things where happening somewhere, that would affect our two little explorers that they had no idea about.

Taeshan loses 2-1 Aslie martin scores

Sel Appa 1 - 1 Vephrall (Ref. Keith Grant of Bostopia)

(ooc-RP collaborated by both parties on IRC)

Summary:
Miquelinho leads on the kickoff and sets up a nice attack. He is backed by Michael Ebe and Samantha Sitran. He closes in on the goal and shoots, but it goes over the crossbar. The Vephrese keeper chucked the ball at Hahnea Whaariny, who kicked it down the field. The ball was intercepted by Dzheighcymn Ghotiolo. Midfielder Recasang Shuke came in with a bad tackle, causing a hard fall for Ghotiolo. The referee, Keith Grant of Bostopia, arrives with a yellow card in the air. Ghotiolo takes the free kick and sends the ball to Karl Gepardo. He is tackled by Wendelors Clituleng, who sets the ball off to Pembace Prorim. Prorim sets up Sorrah Wais for a goal and it goes in. The kickoff is quickly intercepted and Vephrall tries for a second goal to increase their lead.

Mongke Bokegalbaatar thwarts a near-perfect shot by Thwante Uambe and Karli Rengel catches it. She passes the ball off to Colin Patette, who directs a pass forward, but it is intercepted by Pembace Prorim. Prorim lobs a pass to Going Sytrobes, but it ends up at Arthur Mercator V's feet. He sends the ball to Michael Ebe, who dribbles the ball towards the goal. Hahnea Whaariny comes in for a tackle, but knocks Ebe over. His head smacks into the ground and he's out cold. The referee comes over and signals for a stretcher. Klarence Morreau replaces Ebe as the referee holds up a red card. Morreau takes the free kick, directed at Ghotiolo. He starts dribbling the ball, but is tackled by Recasang Shuke. Ghotiolo turns around to tackle Shuke and suceeds, but the referee throws up a yellow. Shuke lobs the free kick to waiting Vephrese strikers, but Nikole Barr intercepts. She lobs the ball up the field, but Preptyrs Scunt gets it. Karl Gepardo runs in for a tackle and Scunt appears to take a dive, but the referee decides a yellow is in order.

Play resumes and Vephrall starts an attack. Sorrah Wais brings the ball in deep and shoots. Bokegalbaatar is forced to concede a corner. Sorrah Wais takes the corner and Thwante Uambe sends it inward, but the Sel Appan keep is able to nick it off. Nikole Barr takes the ball and kicks it to Colin Patette. He passes it on to Samantha Sitran, who tries to make a goal, but its just outside the far post. The goal kick sends the ball to Torossud Parogam in centrefield. Colin Patette tackles lightly and misses, causing Parogam to stumble. Grant reaches into his pocket for a yellow card to put up in the air. Parogam takes his free kick towards Going Sytrobes, who dribbles it in. He misses and a goal kick is awarded.

Bokegalbaatar punts the ball upfield and Karl Gepardo gets it. He is blocked off and kicks it back to Dzheighcymn Ghotiolo. Parogam intercepts a pass and starts dribbling towards the Sel Appan goal, but Mercator arrives with a tackle. The ball goes back and forth a bit, neither side able to do much. Parogam tackles Sitran and it looks a bit rough, causing the referee to run by waving a yellow card. Parogam disputes the call, but the Grant reaches for his pocket again. Parogam allows play to resume, with the Turtles in possession. Miquelinho takes the ball in and hurls it at the goal, but it bounces off the post and back out. He throws up his hands as the Vephrese defense gathers up the ball. They kick it back upfield and start an attack. Patette and Ghotiolo halt the attack and start a counter attack. They make it halfway across Vephrall's half before losing possession.

Thwante Uambe, Sorrah Wais, and Recasang Shuke start a blitz down the pitch to try and secure the lead. They are stopped just outside the box by al-Jafari who comes in with a sliding tackle that knocks Shuke off his feet. Rengel takes the ball and starts to bring it back up. Before the Grant can show a card for al-Jafari, Shuke himself slides in with a harsh tackle that knocks her flat on her face. The referee holds a yellow card in the direction of Shuke and then passes it to his other hand, which is directed at al-Jafari. It seems he forgot Shuke had received a yellow earlier. Play resumes, but the whistle blows 30 seconds later.

Half Time

Going Sytrobes opens up the second half, starting a narrow attack on the left flank. The three players had too much momentum and the ball went out of bounds. Bokegalbaatar punted the ball up the pitch to Colin Patette, who rounded it off for Miquelinho. He shoots, but was offside. Latissle bowls the ball over to Clituleng. He lobs the ball upward where a gust of wind blows it into the stands. Mercator with the throw-in. Gepardo takes it and dribbles very deep, but doesn't have a clear shot and is tackled to lose possession. The ball is sent to the midfielders who are blocked of by Sel Appa's midfielders. Sitran gets the ball and dribbles it in. She passes to Miquelinho, but he can't make the shot. He passes it back to her as Latissle comes in for a tackle. His foot slams hard into her jaw and she flips back. The referee runs over and shows Latissle a yellow card for what probably should've been a red and signals a penalty. Sitran is carted off the pitch and Mish Vasou replaces her.

Miquelinho takes the penalty. He sets the ball down, runs up and drives it home into the upper left corner. Latissle jumped upward, expecting a straight shot. The match was equalized. The kickoff starts with Vephrall heading forward in a solid formation. They herd the Sel Appan defense back towards the goal and Sorrah Wais takes a shot. Bokegalbaatar kicks it back out, but Wais returns with a low shot that held to the ground. The Sel Appan keeper dives and blocks the ball with his hands. The referee was nearby and puts up a yellow. Bokegalbaatar disputes the call and play is halted. The referee talks with Wais, Bokegalbaatar, and the extra official. Grant threatens to abandon the match and Bokegalbaatar lets it go.

A corner is granted to Vephrall, but it fails to make a goal. Sel Appa gains possession and rides the ball upfield. Vephrall manages to snag it away and Gepardo flips an obscene gesture at Wais. Wais makes a comment and comes running up to Gepardo with a punch to the left shoulder. Gepardo headbutts Wais, who rolls backward. Play has stopped and the referee cames running toward them. Wais gets up and kicks Gepardo in the thigh. Gepardo grabs Wais's neck and thrusts him to the ground. Wais is struggles and is unable to get up. Grant holds up his hand with a red card for Gepardo, who departs the field. Wais is brought off and replaced by Illokel Rutako. After consulting with the assistant referees, a red card is shown for Wais, who started the brawl.

Play resumes and Miquelinho has the ball. He kicks it to Morreau, who runs in for a goal. He is tackled and the ball is brought deep into Sel Appan territory. Nikole Barr slides in a tackle that shoots the ball towards Patette. He hurls it to Morreau, but Rutako intercepts it. Morreau drives in with a hard tackle that knocks Rutako over. A yellow card is awarded to Morreau. The free kick takes the ball close to the Sel Appan goal, but Rengel is ready for it. She sends the ball up to Ghotiolo, who receives a rough tackle from Sperobis Wilopteere. Wilopteere ends up on top of Ghotiolo and a yellow goes up. The free kick doesn't result in much; both sides are worried about the other scoring again. Sel Appa advances a bit, but Shuke tackles hard on Ghotiolo. The ref displays a yellow and a red.

The free kick starts a solid Sel Appan attack. Morreau shoots, but it bounces off the far post and back at him. He skims off another shot for Latissle to catch. He throws the ball out and starts a counterattack. Sel Appa retakes possession just past the centrefield. Willopteere stops the ball with his chest, but the referee shows a yellow for handling. The Turtles bring the ball close, but Latissle is able to lob it back across the centreline. Rengel comes in and appears to handle the ball as well. A yellow goes up and Rengel is booked. Possession goes to Vephrall, but they don't advance. Sel Appa turns it over and drives in deep as the clock runs down. Clituleng intercepts a pass and runs around with the ball, waiting for a whistle. Grant pulls out his well-used yellow card for the final time and books Clituleng. When he finishes, he blows the whistle, with 15 seconds of stoppage time.

Goals:
Wais 5'
Miquelinho 55' (pen.)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/juvanya/sel_veph_cards.png

Substitutions:
Ebe --> Morreau 12'
Sitran --> Vasou 54'
Wais --> Rutako 63'

The Holy Empire (2) 4
Tzetzes 20
Tzimisces 38, 86
Synadenuso 54

St Samuel (1) 1
Sensini 14

St Samuel travelled to the Holy Empire in the hope of putting up a fine fight. And it all started so well when Leo Sensini scored early on in the 14th minute to put the Latin Crusaders 1-0 up against the run of play. But the lead lasted only 6 minutes as Tzetzes volleyed home a cross from Tzimisces.

It was Juan Tzimisces who seemed to be controlling and dominating the game and the legendery midfielder put the Holy Empire 2-1 in front on the 38th minute with a peach of a goal from 25 yards out.

St Samuel were never really able to get back into the game after going 2-1 down and for large periods were under heavy pressure and were it not for goal keeper Niclas Corinthian, the scoreline would have been worse for the Latin Crusaders.

The second half saw the Holy Empire continue to dominate St Samuel and the constant pressure saw Synadenuso score on the 54th minute when he slotted home a loose ball after Corinthian had saved a great shot from Tzimisces.

Juan Tzimisces continued to display his fine skills and in the 86th minute curled home a free kick from 30 yards to make the scoreline 4-1. A late revival from St Samuel in the remaining few minutes saw Mazzeranni miss an open goal and a thunderous shot from Dexter St John palmed wide by Andrew Dalassano.

The Albrecht Herald
C&M dampen Pheonix flames
By Tracker Edwards

A bad-tempered encounter between sides with no love lost between them, a weak referee, and an unlikely last-minute hero; combined in dramatic style to keep the Big Blues undefeated and riding high in an increasingly unpredictable Group Four.

That Qazox were clearly the superior team throughout will only add to the sense of victory garnered by Mark Baker’s men after securing a point in slightly dubious style. Yasser Zaghloul, having caused trouble for the Oxen back four all night, can hardly be accused of a dive; but the Sel Appan linesman’s decision to flag for a ninetieth-minute penalty to C&M after a 50/50 clash of bodies between Zaghloul and sweeper Ty Revee was questionable in the least. The referee was left without a clear line of sight after substitute Dan Davis wandered in front of him; but never the less opted to trust his man and award the spot-kick, much to the amazement of players and supporters of both sides alike.

Post-match, Zaghloul could offer no explanation for why, seconds after the penalty award, he brushed away Davis, Ignacio Vélez, Speed Wang and others to take his team’s last kick of the game himself. The KT Hotspur forward is hardly renowned for his ability from the spot, but his sudden burst of confidence is unlikely to be reprimanded by his coach as he coolly slotted it home.

Protestations from the Qazox squad and management continued long after the final whistle, and while for once they had a point no-one was prepared to listen. Perhaps nervy after their last game at home – an embarrassing defeat to a Rastafariburg outfit swept aside by C&M – Jason Fowler’s men set out to quibble every little challenge, surround the referee in a howling rage on the merest possibility that a free-kick decision failed to go their way.

For a time it worked, the callow man in black giving in to his hounding more times that not in the first half. A clash of heads on ten minutes saw Zane West get away scot-free while Doug Szczechowicz, after several minutes spent receiving treatment and waiting to be allowed back on the pitch, got a yellow card for his trouble; one saw the combative left-back sacrificed early in the second half to avoid it turning red. Mere minutes later, Damien Sono fairly won the ball from Yancy Fry, but the Pheonix left-winger’s acrobatic leap and blood-curdling yelp of agony were convincing enough to warrant another yellow, one that sees Sono suspended for the trip to Outineau. Walter Jordan will as likely as not slot into his place.

Fry’s theatrics though were unbecoming and unnecessary for a player that well and truly has C&M’s number. A hat-trick the last time these two sides met little more than a year ago (or two years ago, or a couple of months, who knows these days?); it is a symbol of the Big Blue’s development – or at least the quashing of early naivety – that he was restricted to just the one this time around. Still, Sono and O’Sullivan Caras were given a torrid time by the twenty-nine year-old, and were left redundant in an attacking capacity for the entire match. The left-sided pairing of Jos Cornelisse and Szczechowicz (later Adrian Mazzeo) did rather better, giving Zane West plenty to think about and even combining to force a strong of saves from John Freel late in the first half as C&M tentatively began to claim the upper hand.

They’d weathered a storm for much of the half, Reuben Uwakwe forced to be on top form to save from efforts by Fry, Greg Holden and Tomas Richter as C&M struggled to deal with the unusual Qazoxan formation and the barrage of largely unwarranted free-kicks.

Baker had attempted to mix things around early in the second period, bringing off the ineffective Steven Fritz for Vélez but his side would soon fall behind and inevitably it was that man Fry, receiving a low cross from Kyle West at Uwakwe’s near post to tuck past the veteran C&M ‘keeper.

Qazox went for a second, almost scored it from West with Benji Fu clearing it off the line by the meanest of margins; before narrowly avoiding conceding an equaliser when a Sono cross was headed across the face of goal by Wang. Vélez found himself perfectly positioned but lost his footing, with Ben Head behind him also failing to bundle the ball home.

Seldom mentioned in commentary, and barely getting a foot on the ball for minutes on end; Head is none the less emerging at the vital man he was always hoped to be. Countless times throughout the game he was just there, in the way of the Qazox advance and disrupting play. His offensive talents are developing too, when on eighty-seven he combined with his midfield partner to almost snatch the equaliser; Wang ultimately producing a weak shot into Freel’s grateful arms. And then all hell broke loose, and C&M, somehow, escaped Qazox with a point that – whisper it quietly now – suggests our Big Blues may just have an outside chance of making their way to the last thirty-two.

As ever; the post-match comments of Mark Baker were reserved, though the grin on the coach’s face told its own story. He was keen to reserve particular praise for Head, a find all of his very own. “I do hope,” he told the assembled reporters playfully, “That you’ll make a point of praising the boy. Me’n Hane Davies [Head’s manager at Green Island] were pretty much the only ones to keep the faith after a poor couple of years, and he’s paying dividends now. You’re seeing for GIZ, look how well they’re doing, and with respect to the elfish lad they’ve got there, it’s Ben that makes them tick.”

Heap praise on the boy? Questions about his equine history aside, Mark, consider it done.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Qazox.png Qazox 1
Fry 65

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Candelaria And Marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez 1
Zaghloul pen 90+1

Not Again!

"We need to step up," says Coach

The Vanek'ians continued their losing ways yesterday, as a disappointing loss to Kansiov disappointed fans across the nation. 3-1 was the score, with Thomas Vanek scoring the lone marker for the VDB at 10, after a nasty penalty on the Kansiovian keeper, earning him a red card. He pushed down Vanek in the pursuit of the ball, and a pretty big bruise to Vanek's leg required he be taken out. 3 other Kansiovian players scored afterwards at 15, 60, and 89. At the press conference following the game, Coach Andrew Kennedy stated, "We are ashamed of ourshelves. We need to win a game, and step up. Eat our dust, Group 8!"

Thomas Vanek is expected to be back in action for the next game healthy.

Box Score:

Goals:
Vanek, 10
Nerdeck, 15
Westario, 60

Substitutions:

Vanek-Madend
Nerdeck-Hector
Oniest-Emahines

Cards:

IteCarb-Red

Injuries

Vanek-Bruise to thigh, to play next game

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 4-4 Sorthern Northland http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sorthern_northland.png

*This is an Sorthern Northland Television broadcast bought to you by SNTV Sport.

"Welcome to the show, our first for this World Cup qualifying campaign. First of all on behalf of SNTV I would like to apologise for failing to bring you the first three game of the campaign. As you may now if you've been reading newspapers all SNTV signal was cut off by a recent storm and our engineers have been working hard to fix them and we shall bring you each and every Sorthern Northland game of this competition."

"We have actually acquired some highlights of the Ariddia match at the Stade National Rêvane-Sud from a foreign broadcaster and we can show them."

*Highlights are then shown with commentary in a mysterious foreign language in which the commentator sounder very angry. (This language was later found to be German)

"Well here with me today I have Corcaigh FC boss Kevaughn Ó Criomhthain, to discuss the game with, good evening Kevaughn."

"Ah good evening to ye, like."

"Well thanks for coming in Kevaugh, and what a game that was, and that's a fantastic result for us isn't it?

"Oh aye it was a tremendous game and to score four goals and draw away from home to the world champions is no small feat. You have to be an excellent team to win the World Cup like."

"Yes exactly, Arridia are top of the world ranking whilst we're so far down them that to be honest I haven't bothered looking for us."

"Ah yes, and I tell ye what Padraig, did Xeng Xung have a good game today or what like?"

"Yes Xeng is of course a new member of the squad having been called up after his impressive display in the Oriental Cup, but you wouldn't think he was only playing in his third game for his country today."

"He's praised a lot for his defensive duties but today he showed what a player he can be when attacking ye know. Normally he's just thought of as a player that does the defensive donkey work in midfield, but some of his passes today were magnificent, particularly the ones for the goals by Ben O'Bagels and Neuville Senna. He showed some fantastic vision for those to goals."

And talking of players that have been called up on the back of the Oriental Cup, your new signing at Corcaigh, Jing Mao seems to have made the step up to international level with ease with another two goals today after coming off the bench?

Mao is a fantastic player like, and I'm delighted to have him at Corcaigh. And with four goals in just two games so far, he has the potential to do great things for both Corcaigh and Sorthern Northland.

And what about our opponents today, Arridia?

I think they will be disappointed to have got a draw today at home, and they will be a bit concerned about the defence, but the attack was very good I thought and you could see why they are world champions. Jamilah Shahrour and Hwang Kumchol were both very impressive I thought.

And finally Kevaughn, we've held the world champions to a draw at their place, can we qualify for this World Cup?

It was a great result we got today for sure, but it's just one game, I wouldn't get too excited just yet. In footballing terms we are still young, this is only the second time we've been in the Worlc Cup qualifiers, and we have many more games to come against some very good teams. It will be hard for us but we have to keep focussed and you never know what can happen. After all who would have put money on the world champions being held to a draw and conceding four goals at home against Sorthern Northland?

The Daily Quak
Sharks Suck

The Quakmybush National Soccer Team began their ninth World Cup qualifying game, in less than stellar form. They tied Delsea, lost to Errinundera, and tied Nebuleux. The team is playing like shit and we here at the Daily Quak don't really feel like covering them. Goal scorers for Quakmybush so far are, Jon Fields with 2, and Clifford Baker, Matthew Graves, and Cory Sorley with one. Up next is another match that the Sharks could manage to lose, against up and coming Jeru FC. If the Sharks do manage to come back into qualifying contention, we'll bring you up to date.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 4-4 Sorthern Northland http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sorthern_northland.png

Curse strikes on Day 3

After scoring eight goals and conceding only one in their first two days of competition, the Rouge-et-Noirs may have developed hopes that the “curse of the qualifiers” –a string of totally implausible draws against weak sides, which had dogged them in previous Cups– was finally gone. Que nenni! It has returned.

Ariddia today hosted Sorthern Northland. The teams are not complete strangers. The Ariddian Arctic Islands met and defeated the Northlanders during the Oriental Cup (4-2). All the more reason to be optimistic: If amateurs from the tiny Arctic Islands could defeat this team, what could the mighty Rouge-et-Noirs not do?

Win, that’s what.

They, should, perhaps, have been wary from the very start. When Jacques Clocher’s kickoff pass to Heather Rodriguez was intercepted by Diago Maran, forcing defender Lucia Nelson to get it back with a quick tackle, the Ariddians were shown their opponents intended to attack relentlessly.

The first shot on goal also came from the Northlanders, but was safely caught by Tu Wesh, enabling the Rouge-et-Noirs to strike back and cause some difficulties to the Sorthern Northland defence.

After coping with an initial Northerlander surge, the Rouge-et-Noir appeared to master the match as expected, and had established a 2-0 lead by half time, with a goal from Elmi Guirreh and another from Iol Et. The outcome of the match seemed almost certain.

The few Sorthern Northland supporters in the stadium, however, continued to support their side as noisily as they could, and unfurled a giant flag with the sporting help of far more numerous Ariddian supporters.

The second half began with a new goal by Guirreh, and Ariddians cheered at the quasi-certainty of victory. To win now, the visiting team would need to score four goals in fewer than forty minutes.

Ben O’Bagels scored his country’s first of the game in the fifty-eigth minute, following an unusual miscommunication in the Ariddian defence. Nine minutes later, Lucia Nelson held back Jing Mao in Wesh’s penalty area, unwittingly offering the Northlanders a penalty kick – which Mao immediately capitalised upon.

In the seventy-fifth minute, Neuville Senna looked poised to score, when Tu Wesh stopped him with an illicit tackle, drawing boos from the crowd. Wesh helped Senna back to his feet, spread his arms helplessly to express that it had been a mistake, and apologised. But it enabled the Northlanders –incredibly– to equalise.

The Rouge-et-Noirs were placed in the unexpected situation of having to fight for a win in the closing minutes, on home ground. A corner kick shot by Ann Cove, deflected by Palmer and clumsily cleared by Murty gave Elmi Guirreh the chance to put Ariddia back in the lead in the eighty-second minute, to the sound of applause in the stadium. But Jing Mao revived the Northlander nightmare for the Rouge-et-Noirs with a superb goal just four minutes later. Tu Wesh looked furious at himself. The curse had struck for the first time in World Cup 37: the Ariddians were left with a hugely disappointing draw at the end of a high-scoring match.

Steamroller

Squornshelous has come out as hot as they ever have, outscoring their first three opponents 12-3, only the Holy Empire has played better. This match, against middling competitors Swilatia was another blowout. Swilatia, who were coming off a tough, close upset at the hands of Vikingholm, looked tired and beat from the beginning. The Pschychoes kept up their pace of four goals for and one goal against per match, Mikkula Kuivalainen had his second straight two goal match, leading the Pschychoes to the top of the Group 5 table, two points clear of Kiryu-Shi, in second.

Squornshelous followed their footballing doctrine to the letter, the mantra "Score early, score often" summed up their play perfectly. The first goal was put in by Dmitri Polokov, rebounding from a quiet day last matchday. Caj Ilmari's cross was inch perfect and Polokov burried it from the back post. Polokov also contributed on the following goal, making a long run down the wing before dropping the ball back to Kuivalainen. After avoiding one defender, Kuivalainen set up the ball for Ilmari, who was making a diagonal run. Ilmari made one touch to change his angle on goal and put it just past the keeper's fingers.

Kuivalainen's goals came about three minutes apart, just a bit before the half. The first was a fluke play. His pass for Roman Svoboda was headed away by a defender, but fell right at his feet. Firing immediately, he caught the keeper out of position. After the next kickoff, he made a superb individual play, weaving through the defense and into the box. He fired from close range and the keeper never had a chance.

Swilatia managed to net a consolation goal when the Pschychoes backed off a bit in the second, but both sides knew the match was over.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 4-1 Swilatia

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Kuivalainen: 4
Ilmari: 2
Polokov: 2
Svoboda: 2
Aatunen: 1
Uolevi: 1

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses
MD1: Squornshelous 2-0 Vikingholm
MD2: Miceland 2-6 Squornshelous
MD3: Squornshelous 4-1 Swilatia
MD4: Recluse Island v Squornshelous
MD5: Capitalizt SLANI v Squornshelous
MD6: Squornshelous v Kiryu-shi
MD7: Turruth Gordur v Squornshelous
MD8: Vikingholm v Squornshelous
MD9: Squornshelous v Miceland
MD10: Swilatia v Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous v Recluse Island
MD12: Squornshelous v Capitalizt SLANI
MD13: Kiryu-shi v Squornshelous
MD14: Squornshelous v Turruth Gordur

"What were you f**king thinking!" Mike yelled, pacing back and forth in front of Pan.

"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time..." he replied, a pained look on his face.

"It didn't do us much good, did it?"

"Well... no."

"So what's the rule about that now?"

"No calling press conferences without someone else there." Pan said dejectedly.

"That's better."

---

The meeting across town at the CSA was much more serious in nature.

Roy Allen was sitting in the Headquarters Conference Room- long since moved out of it's former home in the walls of Ylompic Stadium, and now in a generic commercial building downtown- surrounded by the few remaining staff the CSA needed to run it's operations.

"We're here, of course, to determine how to reform the domestic soccer leagues, in anticipation on fielding an actual World Cup team in the future, instead of this... whatever the hell you call it." Allen said, waving his hand at the TV nearby, showing the Casarans sadly out of their element.

"But there's no money in it at the moment." One assistant said.

"That's true, but most of the old big teams have reduced themselves to playing in private, regional, semi-pro leagues. Some are even up for sale."

Allen nodded. "That, ladies and gentlemen, is the problem."

---

Lori sat behind the wheel of her car, sitting and waiting for her companions to come out of the locker-trailer. Letting loose on the horn, Pan's hand was visible through the window giving her the finger. It took a few minutes for Lewis, Scott, and Pan to depart and jump into the car. "Where are we going?"

"Who cares, just drive." Scott said.

"Someplace with the booze is good." Pan added, holding on as Lori floored it, turning onto the road and driving towards the city.

"Ugh, that was a pain of a match, wasn't it?"

"I don't even want to think about it." Lewis said. "In fact, I'd prefer to do something the exact opposite of playing soccer."

---

The Artari water tower was about 250 feet tall, but it looked much, much worse from the top.

"Why are we up here?" Pan asked, looking around. Lori was intently spraypainting something on the side of the tower, ignoring the others who were hanging onto the rail. "And what are you painting on the water tower?"

"Something they won't be happy to have on their water tower." Lori said. With a few final sprays, she shrugged and threw the can over her shoulder, letting it fall and clank on the concrete below. "This will be my master work- one that will last throughout the ages, or until someone cares enough to repaint their water tower."

The four slowly climbed down the ladder down to the good, sweet earth once again, and looked up at Lori's handiwork in the moonlight.

"Lori." Scott said.

"Yes?"

"Why are stick figures swordfighting on the water tower?"

"It's an impressionist view of people fighting on a water tower."

"You have no idea what you just said, do you?"

"Not a bit. But it does look cool."

"You remembered not to sign it, right?" Lewis asked.

Lori blinked. "Wha?"

"So they don't know who did it."

"Oh. Why do you think I'd do something stupid like that?"

"Well, you can be absent minded." Lewis replied.

"Pfft, of course not." Lori turned and started walking to the car. "I signed your name."

Jeruselem Army News

Jeru FC get trashed, again!

Jeru FC were back to old habits, after getting themselves trashed by Errinundera, albeit a reserve Errinundera side. The army boys gave up four goals to the 4th ranked side but then we didn't expect them to win anyway. It wasn't because they played badly, it was because they played a team who could win this cup, so no disgrace. Losing 0-4 is better than the 0-7 in the old days.

Our normal team was back to normal with 3-0 win at home. The new pin-up girl of the army - our own Princess Kate along with her dopey relative Hikfie fired up the team with stirring performance despite a lacklustre performance from the Captain Dinkie.

When we spoke to Jeru FC coach Abrams Tunk he said
"Don't expect too much from these boys. If the army insists to sending trash to fill the army World Cup team, expect trash results."

[ooc: thanks to St. Samuel for writing a match report before me, and he certainly gave my midfield legend an appropriate role. As ever with WC37, Holy Empire match reports this campaign are all about generating an aura of legend and myth rather than presenting literal truth, but at the same time I welcome being able to react to other nations' very different approaches to facing Tzimisces. I'll also note that Pselluso the Seer might very well not be sane. It's up to other nations to decide to what extent they take him seriously]



There are those in Ordinary Reality who do not understand time in the Holy Empire, for here all things are potentially present, all things are potentially past, all things are potentially future. Time is not linear, but is instead a trans-dimensional mobius sphere, where all points on the surface of that sphere are potentially in contact with all other points on the sphere... It is only to keep ourselves sane that most Imperial citizens ignore the implications of non-linear time and live their lives across the sphere as if time were still linear.

But I, Pselluso the Seer, who found Heldscalla and glimpsed the Glimmung, has had all time and space revealed to me. Thus it was that even before it came to pass, I knew that the Holy Empire would defeat St Samuel 4-1, that despite an early goal from Sensini, and despite the heroics of Corinthian, the Latin Crusaders would fall before the force that is Tzimisces.

That Tzimisces would contral and dominate the game. That Tzimisces would create the first goal for Tzetzes. That Tzimisces would score the second from 25 yards. That a shot from Tzimisces would lead to the third by Synadenuso. That a 35 yard thunderbolt from Tzimisces would provide the fourth.

The Latin Crusaders are by no means a bad team, but they were powerless...

And all who heard should see him there,
And all should cry, Beware ! Beware !
His flashing eyes, his floating hair !
...
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And scored two goals in Paradise

He is ancient

He is legend

His is Juan Tzimisces

Fear him, for surely his time has come again.

Perhaps even in Ariddia, that legendary paradise in Ordinary Reality, that home of wordly champions, the only nation remaining that remembers Tzimisces in his prime, has begun to fear for what may come to pass in match day 5.

But I am Pselluso the seer... I found Heldscalla, I glimpsed the Glimmung, and I already know the match day 5 score.

And I am filled with foreboding

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 37 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIRD WIN MOTIVATES THE MONOPOLISTS

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/6272/semttuloqe1.jpg
The supporters watching the game at the stadium

Cafundéu returned to play at home, but this time against a strong opponent, Jariss, a country with some good players, which team could give some work to the Monopolists. With the support of the fans, the players of the red-black team continued with an offensive strategy, using all the tactical ability of the coach Franz Braddock in the game. But they faced a strong defence, which could stop many attacks.

Although it faced difficulties to shot at goal since the beginning of the game, Cafundéu showed good football, and the plays were getting better with time. But the goal that motivated the team and opened the way to the victory came from a dead ball, in a excellent shot of Neto, the official free kick taker of the team. Winning the game, the team could control the ball, as the attack of Jariss wasn’t as good as its defence.

THE GAME

The game started, and in the first minutes, Cafundéu tried to start plays using the wings. With Léo Mattos and Toninho running to help the attack, Anormal had to return to the defence often, and this may have harmed the team, as Anormal’s long range shots and good passes help the team a lot. The first goal chances came from crossings. The attackers lost most of the aerial disputes, and the defence of Jariss was doing a good job.

With the failure of the initial strategy, the coach Franz Braddock gave more freedom to Anormal, who had to defend and attack at the same time. In the first play created by the giant, Heitor received the ball inside the area and shot, sending the ball over the bar. But the goal appeared only later, when Tales suffered a foul in the left side of the field. Neto took it and scored the first goal of the game. The free kick specialist commemorated giving a message to his wife, who is pregnant. Read Breno Gavião:

“Tales rrrrreceives the ball frrrrrom Toninho. He can crrrrross it to the arrrrrea, but decides to stay with the ball. Faces an opponent, drrrrribbles... and it’s a foul. Two players of Cafundéu get prrrrreparrrrred to take it. Léo Mattos and Neto. Neto will go for it, he shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! See the rrrrreplay with me! Neto, number ten! Cafundéu one, Jarrrrriss zerrrrro! Arrrrre you sick? Come to Vida Nova Hospital, where you can get your trrrrreatment for a good prrrrrice!”

The goal was extremely important for the Monopolists, as the real problem of the game was to score against the good defensive system of the opponents. With the advantage, the team had calm to control the ball and reached the attack with more intelligent plays. In one of the last chances of the first half, Tales was going to shoot the ball when a defender tackled him, starting the counterattack. The ball reached an attacker, who shot with strength. Lauro had to make a good save.

http://img119.imageshack.us/img119/3473/4268653lm5.jpg
Jariss held Cafundéu for most of the first half

Cafundéu returned to the second half with only one change. Tales, in bad form, left the game to give space to the midfielder Dário, who lost a place in the starting team after the impressive performances of Rato and Neto. Now, the attacks of Cafundéu were more cautious, as the team was playing now with only two attackers, a change in the initial formation. Jariss didn’t have sufficient offensive power to be dangerous in the attack.

There were few good goal chances during the second half, divided between both teams. Cafundéu had a good chance with Rato, who dribbled a player and shot from outside the area, but the goalkeeper could get the ball. Jariss had some chances with crossings. In one of them, a midfielder jumped to head the ball, which hit the bar and left the playing field. Minutes later, Anormal had to leave the game, tired, and Chico Serra entered in his place.

The supporters understood that the simple win was already a good result, and didn’t complained about the fact that the game was boring in the second half. The referee didn’t have much work to do too. The only problem was when the coach of Jariss complained about a penalty kick, and invaded the field. Renon had to sent him off. Minutes after, Marcelinho, who had just entered in the game, made an excellent pass to Flecha, who shot to score the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“The ball is being held in the midfield. Souza, now the defensive midfielder of the team, is with the ball. Passes it to Toninho, who passes it to Marrrrrcelinho. The first time that he touches the ball with the National Team’s shirrrrrt. Prrrrreparrrrres a crrrrrossing to Flecha, grrrrreat pass, Flecha will scorrrrre... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Rrrrreplay, please! Flecha, number nine! Cafundéu two, Jarrrrriss zerrrrro! Telephones, only in Comunicações Monteverrrrrde!”

AFTER THE GAME

The result was excellent for Cafundéu, and the players, once again, could leave the field happy and without the fear of being criticized. The coach Franz Braddock said to the media: “Three games, three wins. An excellent campaign so far. In the next game, I expect another win, and, if we keep our good form, we can get the qualification earlier than expected. Of course it isn’t easy, but now I’m more than confident that we’ll make it.”

Marcelinho, who made an assist in his first play in the main National Team, said: “I couldn’t expect such a good start, I’m very happy. The team is really in good form, I’m sure that the supporters are proud.” The other player to talk was Chico Serra, who said: “A calm game, their team didn’t have good attackers. This, or they didn’t play well, because we of the defence had few work to do. I’d like to suffer more attacks, I like to work.”

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/117/01086296200ha3.jpg
Neto commemorates first goal of the game

CAFUNDÉU 2x0 JARISS

Place: Toca do Tatu, in Central City.
Attendance: 80,000 people.
Referee: Tina Renon (Bettia).
MOTM: Neto (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Lauro; Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal (Chico Serra 65’), Rato (Marcelinho 77’) and Neto; Tales (Dário 45’), Heitor and Flecha.
Coach: Franz Braddock.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jariss.png JARISS: no team released.

Goals:CAF: Neto 32’ , Flecha 78’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against The Coshairs: Lauro, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Dário and Neto; Tramontina, Heitor and Flecha.
Coach: Franz Braddock.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Erik Haaklaeinen (Squornshelous).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers after 3 games:

4- Heitor
2- Neto
1- Léo Mattos, Flecha and Souza

Exam room of the Landau Institute. Doctors prepared to make a dangerous exam to see the cerebral conditions of one of the patients, Bergue:

DR. TAVARES - "So Bergue, ready for the exam?"

BERGUE - "Yes doctor. But first of all, could you switch the television on?"

DR. TAVARES - "Oh, surely. In which channel?"

BERGUE - "Be Calm."

(Tavares put in the channel. It's broadcasting Estresse Intenso's game for the World Cup qualifiers. The doctors smiles and looks to his patient, who watches the game with interest)

DR. TAVARES - "This brings up good memories, don't you think?"

BERGUE - "Yes, when the Estresse Intenso National Team was composed of patients, and I was one of the players."

DR. TAVARES - "I remember. I was your doctor at that time. I supported you."

BERGUE - "But now everything is changed. The doctors play football, and we stay here, to be examinated."

DR. TAVARES - "Well, let's start with the exam... it's a very invasive one."

BERGUE - "I know. I've done it before. Oh no, we lost the ball. Don't let them counterattack!"

DR. TAVARES - "Against who are we playing?"

BERGUE - "A country with a very strange name. One of the weakest of the group."

DR. TAVARES - "Let's hope for a win then."

BERGUE - "Yes, let's hope."

DR. TAVARES - "Bergue, I must tell you something. This exam is a complex one. It'd be better if you stay doped."

BERGUE - "No, please, you won't put me to sleep. I want to see the game."

DR. TAVARES - "But, if we don't dope you, the exam will be very painful for you, and you'll be able to see what we are doing. And believe me, this isn't nice."

BERGUE - "I sacrifice myself to see the game of the National Team."

DR. TAVARES - "Okay. It's your choice."

ASSISTANT DOCTOR - "Are you sure, doctor? This is horrible, he needs to be doped."

BERGUE - "No, please no."

ASSISTANT DOCTOR - "But it's only a game."

BERGUE - "For me, this is more than just a game."

DR. TAVARES - "So let's go."

(The exam begins)

BERGUE - "Look, Selic is invading the area, he exchanges passes with the monk, shoots... goal, goal for Estresse Intenso!"

(The doctor commemorates with Bergue, with his gloves full of blood)

BERGUE - "Is this my blood?"

DR. TAVARES - "Oh, yes, it is. We're just beginning."

(The exam continues)

BERGUE - (suffering) Aaahh! Arrrgh! Aaaaah! This hurts!

DR. TAVARES - "Are you okay? Don't you prefer to be doped?"

BERGUE - "No, I want to see the game."

DR. TAVARES - "Okay, so we'll continue."

(The exam continues)

BERGUE - "Oh, what is this? Noooooo!"

DR. TAVARES - "What's the problem? Is the pain?"

BERGUE - "No, we nearly suffered a goal, but the ball went wide."

DR. TAVARES - "Oh, I see."

(The exam continues)

BERGUE - "Ooooh! Aaaah! Now it is the pain!"

ASSISTANT DOCTOR - "Let's dope him now, we can't let him suffer."

DR. TAVARES - "It's his choice. If we dope him, he'll never forgive me."

ASSISTANT DOCTOR - "This is crazyness!"

BERGUE - "Shut up! I want to watch the match! Look, Sabin will shoot... Gooooooal!"

DR. TAVARES - "It's better to let him watch the game."

(The exam continues)

BERGUE - "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

The Godzilla Times
All The News That's Fit to Print

WARRIORS BLANKED, 2-0
"This is inexcusable" Gaffer says.

The Warriors came in with a hope that they could come to the Sockie to play an unheralded Vuam and Isma side. What they got instead was a listless 2-0 blanking. "I can only coach and lead." says gaffer Palen. "One needs to show up and play. We cannot mail in games like this." Palen vowed to have this team run miles to the training pitch for "embarrasing their country." This was a snoozefest, no doubt about it. The Warriors did most of the snoozing as V&I came out spirited.

V&I Duncan Nurse was the big star of the match. Nurse would score the first goal in the 8th minute when he caught Sinise napping on a floater into the right corner. He would later add a penalty in the 55th minute after Afflitto fouled Colbert John in the area. However, the shots were few and far between. The Warriors outshot thier opponents, 9-6. However, V&I keeper David Moesen was made to work only once. Warwick launched a pass that was caught by Quinn, Quinn would send a cross into the box for Estrada, whose diving header was tapped away by Moesen.

"This is ridiculous." Stated Lewis. "We are a much better side than this. We need a win in our next match." "Anymore embarrasments like this, and I will be mixing this team up." States Palen.

Lineups and strats remain the same.

(OOC - In RL, it would be slightly unusual for an Orthodox monk to place this much emphasis on the Old Testament, but since all 8 mentions of 'dance' in the KJV are in the OT, and I've already used one of them... you go with what you can, right?)


COLLECTED SERMONS OF THE ARCHREGIMANCY

THE 2-2 DRAW WITH DANCE 2 REVOLUTION

"God's Judgement is Righteous Indeed"

By Fr. John the New Damascene


"...how then to explain our failure against the children of Dance 2 Revolution? Is this a failure of our team of sinners, or is it perhaps not instead that the Lord our God favours those who engage in dance, for does it not say in Judges 21:

Therefore they commanded the children of Benjamin, saying, Go and lie in wait in the vineyards; And see, and, behold, if the daughters of Shiloh come out to dance in dances, then come ye out of the vineyards, and catch you every man his wife of the daughters of Shiloh, and go to the land of Benjamin. And it shall be, when their fathers or their brethren come unto us to complain, that we will say unto them, be favourable unto them for our sakes: because we reserved not to each man his wife in the war: for ye did not give unto them at this time, [that] ye should be guilty.

Now perhaps there are those who consider this an order to go out and steal your neighbours wives in time of war, but I say that instead it shows that those who engage in dance shall achieve great rewards by being favoured by many goals in football matches - and who are you to dispute my superior theological knowledge.

Those who believe that our opposition last night were but wicked heretics should be mindful of Job 21:

Wherefore do the wicked live, become old, yea, are mighty in power? Their seed is established in their sight with them, and their offspring before their eyes. Their houses [are] safe from fear, neither [is] the rod of God upon them. Their bull gendereth, and faileth not; their cow calveth, and casteth not her calf. They send forth their little ones like a flock, and their children dance. They take the timbrel and harp, and rejoice at the sound of the organ. They spend their days in wealth, and in a moment go down to the grave. Therefore they say unto God, Depart from us; for we desire not the knowledge of thy ways.

And yes, it is undeniable that the wicked and heretical prosper, sometimes even clawing their way back from 2-0 down to achieve an unlikely draw against superior opposition, as indeed we witnessed last night. Be comforted that the judgement of the Lord is righteous, and the wicked shall not prosper in the life that is yet to come, especially since they won't have biased referee to help them through a dodgy last minute penalty.

And yet, is it not unknown to celebrate the Lord our God through song and dance? Perhaps, though you may yet credit it not, our opponents last night were offering forth their own form of prayer. Let us look at Psalms 149 & 150.

Praise ye the LORD. Sing unto the LORD a new song, [and] his praise in the congregation of saints. Let Israel rejoice in him that made him: let the children of Zion be joyful in their King. Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp. For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation.

or

Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power. Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness. Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp. Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs. Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals. Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

And then, as Ecclesiastes 3 so eloquently reminds us, there is a time and season for all things. Perhaps this footballing season Dance 2 Revolution are divinely ordained to find success:

To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up [that which is] planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;


Perhaps it is not for us to understand God's judgement in these matters. Perhaps the success of last night's opponents is indeed ultimately designed to strike down the wicked and the wanton. Is it not written in Isaiah 13 that:

Babylon, the glory of kingdoms, the beauty of the Chaldees' excellency, shall be as when God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah. It shall never be inhabited, neither shall it be dwelt in from generation to generation: neither shall the Arabian pitch tent there; neither shall the shepherds make their fold there. But wild beasts of the desert shall lie there; and their houses shall be full of doleful creatures; and owls shall dwell there, and satyrs shall dance there.


And if truth be told, our opposition, however far they may have strayed from the path of Orthodoxy, did play some neat and tidy football with some excellent midfield ball control. There are many who were otherwise filled with sadness who will have taken great comfort in this performance, as the prophet Jeremiah wrote:

Hear the word of the LORD, O ye nations, and declare [it] in the isles afar off, and say, He that scattered Israel will gather him, and keep him, as a shepherd [doth] his flock. For the LORD hath redeemed Jacob, and ransomed him from the hand of [him that was] stronger than he. Therefore they shall come and sing in the height of Zion, and shall flow together to the goodness of the LORD, for wheat, and for wine, and for oil, and for the young of the flock and of the herd: and their soul shall be as a watered garden; and they shall not sorrow any more at all. Then shall the virgin rejoice in the dance, both young men and old together: for I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow.

In closing I would merely say that while the faithless might well be upset by yet another disappointing home draw against an inferior team, the faithful will recognise that God's judgement is righteous indeed, and while we may not understand how we could draw when we had 60% of the possession and outshot the visitors 10-3, surely this result was ordained and just.

Total Football
The Islands of Qutar's favourite sports magazine
17/04/2049

World Cup Qualifiers get off to a fiery start

The Islands of Qutar's qualifying campaign got off to a fiery start last night against Lovisa, with the referee having a hard time remembering who'd he'd given a yellow card to already, having to consult with the fourth official over the first booking of Gemma Stiles convinced that it was her second yellow with the entire Qutari team encircling him in protest. The memory deficiencies of the referee aside the fans who travelled to Lovisa saw a good game that The Islands of Qutar were unlucky to have gone home with no points.

The first half saw a cautious display from the Islands of Qutar holding back and defending hard with only a few counter-attacks of thier own, however James Lampard must have had a good half-time talk as The Islands of Qutar came out strongly and controlled the midfield and frustrating Lovisia with confident passes and strong tackling to win back the ball, Gemma Stiles had a couple of decent chances and forced the Lovisia keeper to make some good saves, but near the end of the game Henrik Baecker was brought down in the box by John Campbell. The replayed couldn't shed any more light on whether it was a penalty or not and in that situation the referee has to give the striker the decision, and the penalty was slammed home by Baecker. This really seemed to knock the wind out of The Islands of Qutar who with only five minutes left had thought they were sure of a draw. This probably lead to the second goal, Andrzej Górka unmarked in the box headed home a cross from his teamate to put the game out of reach.

We were unable to get hold of the Lovisia manager Henryk Kasperczak for an interview, but James Lampard was able to spare us a few minutes for his thoughts on the game;

I was dissapointed to come out of that game with no points, we made a nervous start in the first half but we pulled it together for the second half and we made chances in front of thier goal without leaving our goal open, and I thought it was heading to what could be a vital point, but unfortunatly Campbell came in a bit too strong on Baecker and the referee gave the benefit of the doubt to the wrong player, I mean how can you trust an international game who on a pitch with only one woman on it think he's already given her a card and it takes the fourth official to convice him otherwise. But it was sloppy of us to concede that second goal, but we shall take lessons from this game and take them into our next game.

The QFA were quick to comment that it will launch an official complaint against the unknown referee in thier complaint statement they called the referee to up to the international standard expected of this level of competition, and call the relevant authorities to form a proper vetting system.

We were also able to get a few words with Gemma Stiles about her first international game;

Yeah I mean it was so wierd going out onto the pitch wearing the kit of my country and standing there singing the anthem was a really emotional moment for me. As far as the game went apart from the sunday league referee I think we played a good game, and I was pleased to get those shots in, I mean I was so nervous before the game I was shaking but I've got those first match nerves out of the way now so expect goals instead of shots!



Lovisa n[2] - [0] nThe Islands of Qutar
Baecker, 85'
Górka, 90'+1

Attendance - Unknown


Page 1

Kiryu-shi Solid Through Third Match

By Rebecca Doig

Miceland In their first away game of qualifications, Kiryu-shi played against the Micelandic Marauders, a team of mice based in the country of Miceland. Miceland was not expected to field a great team, as their adaptable play-style still looked to have a few flaws in their previous two matches, losing both games by a combined score of two to ten. The only challenge for Kiryu-shi was facing a completely hostile crowd following two home matches, as no one in Kiryu-shi was willing to venture into the “fractured reality” that makes up Miceland’s home stadium.

____Kiryu-shi started off very slowly against the mice, as they looked a little confused playing in so many realities at once. Kiryu-shi players were definitely not psychologically prepared for the match after spending so long in the normalness and comfort of their home, and played sloppy at the onset of the match. They could not string together any number of passes and gave up the ball very easily. Luckily, the mice could not seem to produce anything offensively either. All in all, the entire first half was terrible, awful, boring soccer. The first half was notable only for the fact that neither team got a single shot off, let alone a shot on goal. Kiryu-shi seemed to pick up the pace to start the second half. They started using the wings effectively, as Arri StrangeMouse just did not seem up to the task of guarding Pat Mayberry. Mayberry stepped up a few levels, and really started to dominate the match. In the 51st minute, a beautiful one-two from between Mayberry and Hellen Gandy gave Mayberry a tremendous amount of open room down the sideline. He cut the ball into the middle and looked like he was about to get the first shot of the match before an excellent tackle by Lucas FuryMouse knocked the ball out. They couldn’t contain Mayberry any longer, though. In the 54th minute, he intercepted an errant pass from the Miceland defense and outran everyone to the goal, where he looped a beautiful goal over charging David BreadMouse. Just eight minutes later, Mayberry received an excellent through pass from Isaac Levi and converted his second shot for his second goal in his second one on one with BreadMouse. Mayberry looked to be on his way to completing a hat trick in the 68th minute, as he created another scoring opportunity. A long pass across the field from Giancario Diamanti found Mayberry open, once again, on the right wing. He started to dash into the middle of the pitch, when he suddenly rolled his ankle and collapsed onto the pitch. He had to be carted off the field, and was replaced by Matty Truth-Hoffman. Kiryu-shi was not able to get another scoring opportunity the entire match. Neither goalie touched the ball the entire game, and Kiryu-shi held Miceland to one shot, which missed by a considerable margin. It really was a tremendously uneventful match, except for Mayberry’s brilliance.

____Mayberry will start against Turruth Gordur, although he will be watched carefully and taken out if he looks like he is favoring his right ankle. Kiryu-shi will play back to back matches against the two most violent teams in the group, and will have to be extremely careful to play soccer and not to descend into a blatant slugfest. Kiryu-shi will not be able to stand up to extreme physicality unless they are able to keep their minds focused on winning the game, not winning the brawl. They are still in second place, behind a perfect Squornshelous team, and hopefully they can remain in second place until their matchup with Squornshelous for matchday six.

Inside the independent lap of Quakmybushian Company, Stats and Such. The head said laughed maniacally. "Bwahahahahahaha, i have found a way we can get back into this qualifying race"

"What is it?"

"You'll have to wait to next Matchday"

"Does it involves penguins, or rubber chickens, or crazy.... no raging penguins?"

"I said you'd have to wait goddamnit."

"Fine, whatever, I'll go back to hacking into Dazza Dallas' home computer"

Q: What does a drunk at the bar have in common with RPs for MD4 of WC37?

A: They're both cut off :p

Scores are here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13059550&postcount=7)

Amda-Mo: Another day older and closer to qualification as the Gnomes win 3-1 over British Londinium.

Lur-Mn: That's a new one Amda-Mo.

Amda-Mo: Only appropriate considering the new heroes of the hour.

Lur-Mn: Indeed, we did see two great games from our new starters, although Bu-Luv's misplay of the goal was not good, especially for a keeper with his experience.

Amda-Mo: But let's talk about the stars first. The SoulElf fired in all three goals on the day and amazingly Hi-Kui assisted on two of them.

Lur-Mn: Yes, well unlike Estresse Intenso, they didn't have the knowhow to stop Seoula. He's still working on his game but he showed the skills that jumped him straight into the starting lineup.

Amda-Mo: And for Hi-kui?

Lur-Mn: Just a brilliant, brilliant performance. He eliminated completely one of Londinium's only good chances and immediately got it into position for the goal. There are concerns about his height against some teams, and of course he can still make youthful mistakes, but he can also make incredible reads that he has no business making.

Amda-Mo: And the third plank, Bu-Luv's mistake?

Lur-Mn: It was just a poorly timed jump. He jumped but the ball went sailing over his head cause his timing was off. It was a save he could've made but didn't. Thankfully the team covered for him, but things like that could cost us when we play Sel Appa or a similar team.

Amda-Mo: Next up is Vanek Drury Brieres. Thoughts?

Lur-Mn: Not really. We ought to trounce them. We're playing well, which is enough against a squad like that, although I'd like to see a Holy Empire like performance where we really smoke someone good.

Amda-Mo: And the rest of the group?

Lur-Mn: Well Sel Appa's draw with Vephrall put us back in nominal control of the group and Estresse Intenso won to move closer to us.

Amda-Mo: How did they move closer to us, when we also won?

Lur-Mn: By us, I meant Az-cz and Sel Appa on top of the group.

Amda-Mo: I see. And thoughts from around the world?

Lur-Mn: Poor Demot. They're digging themselves a huge hole. One they might not be able to get out of. And while they're the biggest disappointment they're not alone. Rejistania has no points, and while their form had been sinking that's still brutal for them. And Commerce Heights JSY only has 1 point and The HURD only three. And while Qazox isn't that far out of it with four points they're not pleased. So a number of teams are stumbling along.

Amda-Mo: Yeah. Word on the street is that Az-cz and Demot might be teaming up to make a bid for World Cup 38. Would Demot collapsing make any difference to that bid?

Lur-Mn: Well I'm not Noz-Tf so I'm not going to speculate too much on that kind of thing, but I know that Noz-Tf was maybe the biggest critic of having undeserving nations as hosts, so it might cause a rift if they fail to qualify. But again these are all just guesses.

Amda-Mo: Interesting. Well we're rooting for them to come back strong, even if it means we have to play them AGAIN in the finals. Now onto the top six.

Lur-Mn: Not a good day for the top three as they all limped to draws knocking them all off the charts. The next three looked good so all have moved up.

6. Wentland

Not yet an impressive win, but two strong wins at home against weak competition, and a road win against a former power is something. Not that many of the three win teams have looked great yet. Thought about a 7 point team, but Wentland just snuck it out.

5. Squornshelous

Like Wentland no real signatured wins, but unlike Wentland they've been brutal just destroying their opponents. This is the Squornshelous we remember

4. Errinundera

The win against Quakmybush lost some luster but the 4-0 beating of Jeru FC keeps them right where they should be.

3. Zwangzug

Having already beat a good Northern Bettia side they added another nice win in beating Aurendia. They're trying to establish themselves as a firm top ten team.

2. Bettia

As opposed to Bettia who definitely is a firm top 10 team, despite their quarterfinals loss last time around. As opposed to Errinundera, who's name win is struggling, Geisenfried is looking pretty good which adds to Bettia's strength. They're trying to recapture their magic and move even with Ariddia again and are off to a good start.

1. Alasdair I Frosticus

The schedule didn't really provide the Empire a chance to establish themselves through two games, but it did in the third. And they capitalized by crushing St. Samuel. With the return of Tzmices they look dangerous. But then again they looked great all of qualifiers last time and couldn't put it together in the proper. So they have to be cautiously optimistic at this point.

Amda-Mo: Yeah. For most of the teams inhabiting this area making the cup isn't worth much. It's how you perform there that matters. And we're in that same boat. So join us here as we face Vanek Drury Brieres.

"Zuki!!!! Ohhh! Dammn! Zuki...Zuki...Zuki!" Chanted Ty Reed in the wanign moments of the game at Miamoria. Whent he final whistle blew, Ty looked up at the scoreboard and saw the 4-0 win.

"Zuki, how the hell did that shot go in? You had like no chance at it!" Ty said to Yuzuki as they walked together to the locker room.

"I dunno, I saw the rebound coming my way and just stuck my foot out, and somehow it went in, just lucky." She replied.

"Bullcrap, it was skill, now i have to get a goal." chuckled Ty.

'LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THAT IS HOW YOU PLAY FOOTBALL. FOR 90 MINUTES. NOT 89 MINUTES AND 59 SECONDS, BUT FOR NINETY MINUTES. FRY, RICHTER, GOOD GOALS FROM BOTH OF YOU. TRIPP, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT PAST THAT GUY FOR YOUR GOAL, BUT GOOD ONE, WHERE'S GUCHI? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE FIRST WOMAN IN 12 YEARS TO SCORE FOR THE TEAM?" Fowler blared.

"Sir, it felt good." squeaked Yuzuki.

'DAMN RIGHT IT FELT GOOD, BUT IF I SEE YOU OUT OF POSITION LIKE THAT AGAIN ON A CORNER KICK, I'M GONNA RUN YOUR ASS RAGGED FOR AN HOUR. BUT STILL NICE GOAL. OK THE IMPORTANT THING IS WE WON, AND FINALLY WE LOOKED GOOD DOING IT, BUT JERUSELEM IS NEXT AND WE HAVE TO BE ALMOST PERFECT TO BEAT THEM, IN THEIR PLACE. I WANT TO BEAT THOSE PEOPLE SO BAD." Folwer replied.

"Why coach? Ain't like we've lost to them too bad over the years." said someone in the back.

"WHY? YOU NEED TO ASK ME WHY? FIRST OF ALL, THEY ARE JERUSELEM, ONE OF THE BEST TEAMS IN THE WORLD. WE'VE BEATEN TOP TEAMS BEFORE AND WE MUST DO IT AGAIN. SECONDLY, WE'VE NEVER BEATEN THEM BEFORE. AIN'T THAT MOTIVATION ENOUGH? AND THIRDLY, I JUST HATE THE BASTARDS." Fowler said, stomping out of the room.

"Guess we're having long practices this week" mumbled Ty.

"No shit, Sherlock" replied the person next to him.

GOALS:
Qazox:
Tomas Richter (2): 28'
Yancy Fry (3): 37'
Wesley Tripp: 82'
Yuzuki Haraguchi: 89'



NsWiki for Qualifers: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Qazox_at_World_Cup_37_Qualifing

PRUXTON PRESS

No Guts, No Glory, No win

Wentland is very good, but the Prawns can hold their heads high, despite a 4-2 loss at home to the #1 seed in the group.

No Guts: What our defense seemed like int he second half, allowing 4 goals to score after a 2-0 halftime lead. Red Herring was peppered with 16 shots int he 2nd half, compared to 3 in the first half.

No Glory: Red Herring, will get no glory after allowing 4 goals in a span of 13 minutes in the second half, in the 48th, 53rd, 57th and 61st minutes. But Most of the blame goes to the no guts defense.

No Win: Despite goals from Pi R. Squared in the 20th minute, after 007's shot deflected off his radii into the net, and 007's thunderball that almost ripped the net in half in the 29th minute, the porous defense kept Prux from pulling of a huge upset. (BTW have we mentioned that the defense stunk up the joint int he 2nd half yet?"

Prux' Scoring this match:
Pi R. Squared: 20'
007: 29'

Prux' Overall scoring:
007: 4
The Sphinx: 1
Pies R. Round: 1
Pi R. Squared: 1


The next match is on the road for the Prawns as they will travel to Bushes Been Quaked. BBQ sounds like they will fill us up with their excellent ribs and chicken wings.

The whistle blew as the score was 1 ALL. Rastafariburg had managed a draw with Jeruselem against despite Jeruselem having most of the possession. A dejected Dinkie Dosha wandered over to Kate Dallas who was puzzled why they hadn't scored more than one goal. While the local Rastafariburg fans where celebrating like they had actually won, Visting Jeruselem fans were wondering what was going on with the Jeruselem form away from home. The Rastafariburg keeper had a great game but some of the finishing from Jeruselem was also wasteful.

Dinkie: Kate, I think this is yours. (hands over Captain's armband)
Kate Dallas: What? (looks confused)
Dinkie: Yes, I don't think I upto Captaincy. I failed at the World Cup 36 and now failing 37.
Kate Dallas: Oh ...

Dinkie: The team need a leader, it's not me.
Kate Dallas: But but ...
Dinkie: I just want to be a striker.
Kate Dallas: You don't have to!

(Dinkie wanders off)

<Later>

Kate Bush: What's up with Dinkie?
Kate Dallas: Oh, this is mine now.
Kate Bush: Oh ...
Kate Dallas: Well, I don't think she was coping anyway. So, who's going be Vice Captain?

Kate Bush: Let me think about that one.
Kate Dallas: Right, we must beat Qazox. One loss and one draw is no good!
Kate Bush: Yes, a slow start. Too slow, last cup we barely lost a game - just two.
Kate Dallas: I'm going to my best to make we don't lose anymore games especially these easy ones.

Kate Bush: I think Dinkie was a medical problem personally.
Kate Dallas: She seems tired all the time.
Kate: Didn't she start a new vegetarian diet?
Kate Dallas: Yeah I think so.

Kate Bush: Well, I'll have to force her to get more iron. Can't have her being tired all the time.
Kate Dallas: Dallas girl don't have that issue!
Kate Bush: You Dallas girls seem to on drugs all the time.
Kate Dallas: It's just the hormones

<Later>

Kate Bush: Dinkie, I think you need see your doctor.
Dinkie: I suppose to do
Kate Bush: I can't have a tired striker, we need goals Dinkie.
Dinkie: I'll talk to Sally

The Godzilla Times
All The News That's Fit to Print

WARRIORS GRAB POINT 2-2

Well, it seems like the boys were looking ahead to this match with Bazalonia. After being embarrassed by Vuam/Isma, this was a match that they needed desperately. So, the big right foot of Steve Warwick entailed the boys a heroic 2-2 draw against the perennial contenders from Bazalonia at Petrox Park.

The game started slowly as both sides trie to play against each others weaknesses. It looked like another snoozefest until Quinn Harris came from nowhere to whip a 30 yard bomb that caught Kanga by surprise and send the crowd of 37,000 into a frenzy at the 33rd minute. Things would not settle as Bazalonia wore off the shock goal as captain Ricky Yunn beat Kennedy, and rifled a shot past Sinise for the equalizer in the 38th minute.

The fun would start in the second half as Bazalonia came out with a flurry. However, Sinise played his best match so far, and stood on his head for 18 saves. However, goal number two came on a free kick by Yunn, as Afflitto pulled down Myfawny at the hour. Ricky Yunn would curl a shot around the wall, and into the net.

The heroics came in injury time. Lewis took a croos from Harris. Flashed a shot that took Kanga by surprise. He managed to parry it out of the box. However, Steve Warwick took the rebound, and drilled it into the top corner for the equalizer from 20 yards. Final score: 2-2.

Same lineup and strats for MD5

Andy Woolworth has been sacked as manager of Kura-Pelland following a humiliating 1-0 defeat to their former colony Zyla that appears to have already made Kura-Pelland's bid for qualification an impossible task, despite the draw in Turori that gave him a glimmer of hope.

Luke Zerkowski's 39th-minute goal proved the difference as Zyla defended heroically against a nation they broke away from only six years ago. The right-wing moralistic nation - who play all their matches at 9:30pm to ensure children do not hear inadvertent swearing - could not contain their delight, and the new 35,000-seat Zytwik Stadium was a cauldron of noise.

Fedde Beattis was unable to leave Starblaydia but after this astonishingly spineless performance from Kura-Pelland, Woolworth's successor is almost certian to make him a key part of the side, especially with Jose Cazarez suffering a knee injury in the 86th minute forcing Clifton Marshall to come on. Marshall duly missed two sitters in the final five minutes and general consensus dictates his international career is over.

The Matthew Tortini episode of Millionaire was cannily placed as a lead-in for this match; Tortini did indeed state he did not want the job, but many are clamouring for him now. He's certainly not stupid, as he went away with K125,000 for his chosen charity SportSpace, which maintains a network of free sports fields for children. Ironically, the K16,000 question was 'Before managing the national team, which club did Andy Woolworth manage?'. Tortini, of course, knew the answer, Grayton City Wolves.

Even the mightiest and most unassailable of legends must sometimes face defeat against all the odds to the unlikeliest of foes.

Isandwhlana, Little Big Horn, Yarmuk, Manzikert....

Now add Uiri to the list.

But then, who but I, Pselluso the Seer, who has seen all time and space revealed in their impossible eternity, would know that this day Tzimisces would not play, that a strained ankle in the pre-match warm-up would force our mighty coach and captain to watch from the sidelines.

Who would have thought that our greatest of players, a man for whom it is ordained that he shall one day hold back the dark for one final instant as all around him is consumed by flame and fire, would be felled by a mere twisted ankle.

Such are the ways of Ordinary Reality that an injury that could be healed in a moment in the Empire could not be mended; and so it was that Vatatzes took Tzimisces place, and while young Alejandro is a fine player, he is no unstoppable force of nature.

So thrice the Geese took the lead, as they I had seen before, and as I must one day see again, and thrice did the Holy Empire respond, with Angelo, Comneno, and Orphanatropho each beating the goalkeeper.

But for the final goal there was no answer, and without the thunderbolt at the heart of their midfield, the Imperial squad journeyed home defeated.

I now fear for match day 5. I am filled with foreboding. I alone know what must pass. Perhaps the approaching match against Ariddia shall give those who are brave enough to truly see the merest inkling of the apocalypse to come, when one man shall try and save us all while the cosmic forces conspire towards our inevitable destruction.

He is ancient

He is legend

He is Juan Tzimisces

Fear him, for surely his time has come again.

Recluse Island Produce Shock Win

Recluse Island are keeping in touch with the leaders in Group 5 after a shock win over World Cup 31 winners Squornshelous. The top four teams are seperated by only a point, and this top four includes World Cup first-timers Recluse Island.

Recluse Island manager Dougal McDougal exploited the sole weakness they could find about their more experianced opponents- the wings. Playing a highly attacking 3-2-3-3 formation, Squornshelous had to deal with the speed and skill out wide of Niclas Kjaer, who ran down the left flank every time he got the ball.

Recluse Island opened the scoring through one of Kjaer's trademark runs down the left, crossing the ball low to the awaiting Jose Pedro dos Santos Neto, who proceeded to scissor kick the ball past Squornshelous goalkeeper Kustaa Paavalainen in the 33rd minute.

Squornshelous captain Roman Svoboda managed to equalize just before half time, after a dominant spell by Squornshelous, who were using their numbers in the centre of the park to create several chances.

The winner came in the 51st minute, when Pavel Nykl used his height to head home a Niclas Kjaer cross, sending the home fans into raptures.

The Recluse Island manager has told his team to not get overconfidant after this win, and the Islanders will have to be ready to face 5th placed Swilatia away in the next round.

Dinkie was at Sally Dallas's clinic for a urgent visit

Sally: Dinkie! Long time now see! What's the problem, girly.
Dinkie: I'm tired all the time, so I can't perform! I gave the Captaincy to the Princess, someone is ready.
Sally: Now, tell me everything. I mean everything - your schedule, your diet, your love life and I mean everything. I'm all ears!

<half an hour later>

Sally: Stop crying Dinkie! I'm here to help!
Dinkie: So, what's the diagnosis?
Sally: Well, you need more iron for your lifestyle. Playing football is not for weak people with little iron. Your new diet is good but I think you need far more iron in it.
Dinkie: Is that all?

Sally: Not quite, you also have a genetic weakness which is making you tired too.
Dinkie: My mother was never a strong person, physically.
Sally: Yes, I think you have a real problem. I think you need to stop playing football for a few games.
Dinkie: But but ... the team needs me!

Sally: No, I'm a Dallas - I only do things when it's needed. Look, I have good standing with the team. You need to boost those iron levels now.
Dinkie: Whatever you say.
Sally: Good, I'm going get you some special organic iron tablets and eat lots of iron rich veges too. Stay home with the kids - make then take care of Mum.
Dinkie: OK

Sally: Here's your presciption, give it to the Jeruselem team doctor.
Dinkie: What about my genetic weakness? What I do about it? For my kids sake.
Sally: Pray to God, all you can do Dinkie.
Dinkie: What do the tablet taste like?

Sally: Err, bad spinach ...

from the front page of the Meice Journal...

Suspensions cripple team in Naleloospalakintula match

NALELOOSPALAKINTULA -- With four players suspended and two more out with injuries in the wake of the Sel Appa match, manager Ostalir Pasarap had little choice but to field a team consisting of majority backups in the next match, and Naleloospalakintula took the opportunity to provide a 4-2 upset. With the team now at a highly disappointing 0-2-2, is Pasarap eating his words after predicting qualification this year? More to the point, with the team having failed to win any of its last seven matches, is Pasarap likely to be shown the door soon?
See CRIPPLED, page C1

[OOC: More RPing to come sometime in the next few days. I hope...]

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sorthern_northland.png Sorthern Northland 1-3 Rejistania http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/rejistania.png

"The James Connolly Stadium was today packed to the rafters as Sorthern Northland hosted Rejistania in the Sortherners first home game of the campaign. The former world champions are not the team they once were and have not even announced a squad for this World Cup so unfortunately there is little I know about the Rejistanian players. Going into the game the Sortherners will have been confident of a win and with Neuville Senna getting his second goal in two matches, in the twenty-third minute of today's match, the Sortherners certainly started well. Instead the fans were in fantastic voice. Their support certainly drove the SN team forward in the first hour or so, and the chants of 'Your support is fucking shit' and 'Your not famous any more' directed at the few Rejistani fans that had made the journey certainly seemed to make the opposition nervous."

"When the teams came out for the second half the Sortherners carried on their fine play with Xeng Xung, Kim Mim-Kim and Ben O'Bagels all being denied by the woodwork in the opening fifteen minutes of the half. However the Sorthern crowd was stunned into silence in the sixty-sixth minute when a driving run by the Rejistani midfield led to a Rejistani goal. It was the first shot of the game for Rejistania and the shock of it seemed to paralyse both the. SN supporters and players. Rejistania went on to score another two goals to steal a lucky win."

"The Sortherners are again at home in the next round of games, this time welcoming Konora to Beningrad. This is certainly a game that the Sortherners will be expected to win, however the Konoran's have so far played some very impressive football, particularly in the 1-0 victory over Rejistania and with both Konora and Sorthern Northland keen to play good football, a great match should be in store whatever the result."

"This is Brian O'Donnell reporting for SNTV Sport from the James Connolly Stadium in Beningrad. All hail the dear leader Ben O'Bagels."

"Damnit, he's not here."

"Dr Langhorn should be here." the 2 Bazalonians said as they walked around the excavation site. Which was vacant, a few tents where still up and there was a single item standing on a table.

It was an old Wymgami artifact, well, that's they assumed anyway. IT wasn't like that they knew anything about Wygami culture, names or even statues-esque types things, it could be some kind of idol even. Whatever it was, it was the only sign that there was some action.

There was also some disturbed desks, which they didn't touch, there was no doubt something had happened here, exactly what they had no idea. They went back to the nearest town and approached the police.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bazalonia, first it was 4-4 against Central Prestonia and now 2-2 against Minillia Island, 2 games that the Bazalopes should have easily beaten the two teams. Once again the Bazalonian Bazalopes were leading but let the other team through their defense to even the score with only a few minutes remaining.

Peter Hobble, the team's main coach had this to say, "We can't afford these little slip ups, We need to be on our game for when we go away to Zwangzug next matchday. This will be a vital match for both us and Zwangzug and we can't afford such sloppy play. Perhaps It's the away but I doubt it. The team needs to do better and I'll do my job to ensure that a top form Bazalope team will face Zwangzug at Zwangzug.

And the award for the longest and most pointless post in WC37 qualifying surely goes to...


Though Outineau was inarguably the most impressive city Candelaria And Marquez coach Mark Baker had ever visited, it felt good to be home. Sure, the Kelssekian second city had more festivals that you could shake a gyrating bottom at, a world-famous circus troop, and an awful lot of French people; but his own little Albrecht had the best fish n chips in the region, an enormous sculpture of a thrush, and a small colony of cynical, urbanised capybaras. Les Grands Ballets Kelssekiens couldn’t hold a candle to that.

He even felt happier doing the post-match press conference on home soil. “Yeah, obviously we deserved it,” he was explaining to the old boy from the Herald, “But all credit to Kelssek. Going one-nil up just before half time could’ve killed them, but they didn’t let their heads drop.” This had annoyed Baker greatly. C&M’s general game ploy was to bore their opponents to death, absorb pressure, go one up somehow, and watch as the opposition gave up. Kelssek nabbing a quick equaliser to Fritz’ forty-fifth minute thwack seemed highly unsporting. It had taken until the seventy-sixth minute to retake the lead, a somewhat wayward corner from Caras falling perfectly for Szczechowicz, the left-back poking it home with ease.

An attractive young reporter from JGN put her pen up coquettishly. “Hi there. With Jeruselem fourth in the group, do you really believe you could have a chance against them? And who are you most worried about?”

Baker smiled. “At the risk of repeating myself –” He leaned in, ostensibly to read her name badge. There were other fringe benefits. “Trixilinita… We’re taking each game as it comes. We’re simply not in a position to take Miamoria lightly, and I’m not even thinking about Jeruselem yet. Obviously we have to keep an eye on Dallas… well, all of them, and the Cyborg lass is a worry. But really it’s Miamoria first and foremost. Yes?”

A young man with a PINA logo on his biro had raised his hand. Baker didn’t think they even had an office in the country, but he supposed with Naoki Tonelier now a fixture at Albrecht FC, they’d seen fit to send a permanent reporter to the city. C&M, after all, had guys in Cafundéu, Daehanjeiguk and Kura-Pelland to keep an eye on the Candelariasian expats. Baker had wondered often how the supposedly cash-strapped, government-financed TV1 network could afford to have someone watching young Holger Pi warm the bench for United Trilan all year round. But he valued their scouting reports.

“Fabrice François, PINA. Sir, it appeared in the Kelssek game that Steven Fritz was playing in a more withdrawn role, and was far more closely supported by Speed Wang than in previous games. Are you adopting a deliberate effort in away games now to play with one up and one in the hole, or did you feel the particular talents of the Kelssekian back-line warranted a more cautious approach? And how pleased were you with Walter Jordan’s overlapping? It seemed that he was able to play further up the pitch than O’Sullivan Caras at time, with Mikhail Gobrynin marshalling him so well.”

The coach scowled. He loathed it when the press took it upon themselves to ask the tricky questions. He waffled his way through best he could, made his apologies, and left them to it.

He slipped out of the CMSA HQ’s back entrance into the anonymity of a modestly bustling street in the Songstress district of downtown Albrecht, the neon sign of Mehmet & Sarigiannidis Finest All-Candelarian Kebabs the only landmark anywhere around. There was a rather unexpected damp, the day’s azure ceiling having elected to douse the city in a light drizzle. Serein, they’d call it in Ariddia and Oliverry and whatnot, Baker thought cheerlessly. The rain that falls from a cloudless sky. Well, they would if they were feeling flash, he added. Which they usually are. Bloody poncy froggyphones.

He was just in the process of deciding whether to enjoy the rain as it was, or spend the next half hour’s walk home grumbling merrily about it; when he became aware of several large gentlemen very slowly but equally deliberately converging on his position. Unless, he thought, Albrecht’s afro-Caribbean community have taken to wearing pieces of dried pasta behind their ears as a fashion statement, I think I’m about to be accosted by the Slightly Surreptitious Service.

One of the city’s innumerable supply of custard-coloured taxis rolled up metres from where he stood, and Baker thought for a second about making a dash for it. The notion soon proved redundant as a window wound down to reveal a dark, languorous hand brandishing an ID card. His eyesight wasn’t what it was, but the offending oblong appeared to show all the relevant shiny bits, as well as the ever-so-slightly sinister insignia of the Office of Social Affairs. A monobrowed glare from one of the besuited chaps hastened Baker to open the backseat door and slip in.

A magical mystery tour around Downtown’s backstreets saw the taxi ship up outside the most forgettable block of flats Baker had ever seen.

“Out you pop,” a disconcertingly pleasant voice from the passenger seat told him. The coach did as he was told, getting out after a tall Hispanic man. To avoid the rain as much as anything, they both hurriedly dodged through the street door and into the block’s entrance hall, a traditional collection of curious bottles, syringes and urine stains. Baker, not altogether au fait with C&M’s small number of districts that could realistically be described as ‘seamy’, gagged slightly.

With the imposing bulks of two security men stationed either side of the front door, the swarthy newcomer turned to face Baker for the first time.

“Mark!” he said cheerily, his hands open in friendship. “Soz about all this. Got to be done though.”

Baker frowned. “Should I recognise you from somewhere?” he asked.

“Probably not,” his companion replied evenly, but looking slightly hurt. “Lyndon Hernández. Unionist Party member of the House and Chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Rushmori Agricultural Subsidies.”

“Ah, yes. I thought as much,” Baker lied.

“Jolly good. Follow me then.”

Hernández opened another door and trotted off down a gloomy corridor. Baker found himself following without so much as considering other options. The man had an instinctive way about him, Baker felt. You just did what he said, and it didn’t seem at all unreasonable. He couldn’t have been more than thirty, but Baker felt he had ‘Presidential Candidate’ pinned to his double helix.

The new room couldn’t have been more spartan if had been taken from its family aged seven and flogged continually with whips. You didn’t get this kind of look without special effort. A bare lightbulb struggled to illuminate the room, an elderly bluebottle attempting every so often to eat it, mate with it, or vomit on it, whatever it was that bluebottles did. There was a table and a single chair and a large dark mirror, and nothing and no-one else.

“Do take a seat, Mark.”

Baker pulled up the goldilocks chair and squeezed into it. He regained enough composure to ask; “What exactly is this about?”

Hernández stood opposite him; smiling, but not quite enough. “Mark, you’re an important man. These days, our whole national identity seems wrapped up in your football team. Whether they win or loose, and how you do it, and what you say… It can all affect the mood of the country in ways we would never have predicted. You’re powerful, Mark.” Hernández said this almost sadly.

“Um. Yes?”

“Well, Mark. To quote Uncle Ben –”

“The rice man?”

“No, not the… Mark, with great power comes great responsibility. You see, the power of the almighty soccer ball aside, there are other powerful men in this country. Me being blessed to be one of them. My day job, you see, is that I work at the all rather hush-hush but utterly vital Ministry of Rational Thought…”

Baker’s lips moved soundlessly. “Mort…?” he offered.

“Yeah, it’s an unfortunate acronym. The point is, Mark, that I and a quite a number of other powerful men have become… concerned, it recent months, that you’re not fulfilling your responsibility to the nation quite as you should.”

Baker sighed. “Do tell.”

Hernández clasped his fingers together. “Well let’s see. Let’s just go with recent occasions, shall we? Following the game with Rastafariburg, you made reference to ‘the fellows on Gnome telly’. Mark, you recognise that ‘Gnome’ is a highly offensive term to those of reduced stature?”

“But… That’s what they call themselves! They’re Gnomes!”

“There are no such thing,” Hernández replied, suddenly terse for the first time. “After the draw with Qazox, you referred to ‘the elfish lad’ at Green Island.” He told up a silencing hand to Baker’s protestations. “Mark, there is no elfish player in Zapata, no-one aged eight-hundred or more. There is a talented young player with interesting ears. Just today,” he continued, “You described Jeruselem’s ‘cyborg lass’ as ‘something to worry about’. Do you really believe that such a being could play international sport at the highest level. And as for all your continued references to the ‘ape-men’ in the Cup of Harmony…”

“What else could you describe them as?” Baker asked, exasperated.

“They all suffered from a serious medical affliction. Just like our own unfortunate Mr. Albret. And it’s not healthy to be publicly suggesting otherwise.”

“Hern… Lyndon. You’re a bright man, clearly. You know all this is bullshit…”

“That is not the point.” The minister struggled to avoid shouting, his fist hovering over the table desperate to make a satisfying slam. He broke eye contact with the coach and turned away. “Mark, you and I may know different. We’re men of the world. Or Worlds, whatever. But do you really think the people are ready to cope with all this? After Gordon Bay, after… everything. And in football! They’re barely getting used to women playing in the CMSC, playing against C&M. And all the business with the messed-up passage of time… the rates at which their soccer heroes age? No. Let them worry about the royal visit of that blasted Dallas thing. Seeing their team thrashing Miasma…”

“Miamoria. But… What about if we draw Miceland? Or Starblaydia? Haven't they got dwarfs and vampires and whatnot? God, what about if we actually make the Cup and play in Novapsolu?”

Hernández rubbed his hands over his face. “We’re trying not to think about it… We’ll find a way around it, Mark. We always do. The bottom line is: the people cannot cope.”

“I think they could.”

“Well, regrettably,” the minister told him, shortly, “That is not your decision to make.”

“And is it yours? Hernández, you may have half the press in your hands, but I’m not going to stop saying the truth. Yeah, I know people are asking questions. Wondering about all these odd references to strange beings I’m coming out with. It’s time we dragged ourselves into the modern world.”

Hernández swivelled to face him. “You believe the press should always speak the truth, Mark?”

Baker nodded slightly. He didn’t like where this was heading.

“I have friends, Mark, you’re right. There are a few young ladies at the Mercury that would just love to speak the truth. A bit of celebrity extra-marital whoops-there-goes-my-potato always shifts copies…”

The coach shook his head. “You wouldn’t.”

“For my country? I’ve done worse.”

“Does the President actually know about you…?” Baker asked quietly.

“Oh, please. See how naïve we can be? People see good ol’ Jamie Anderson, think: look, there’s a man who actually cares about people, wants the best for everyone. And he does, Mark, and so do I. And sometimes that means we have to be, well, nasty. Sometimes to win a game, you have to stick a tall man up front, yes? Play ‘route one’? The long-ball game? A few tactical fouls? For the good of the country, these things have to be done.” He walked swiftly to the door, nodding towards it. “I’m so glad we understand each other,” he told him.

Zombiefied, Mark Baker rose to his feet, exited the room, the corridor, and suddenly the block. The large men had gone. People of various interesting shades milled about, paying him no heed. The rain had stopped, making way for dark clouds.

Baker hailed a taxi.

Konora (0) 1
Novaro 51
St Samuel (1) 2
De Villion 20
Mazzeranni 74

With the 4-1 defeat at the hands of the Holy Empire fresh in the players minds, the Latin Crusaders were keen to put it behind them and get on with a winning performance. And the senior squad only had to look at the U-21's success in the De Bradini Cup for inspiration. With the U-21 beating the HURD 2-1 to finish top of there group the senior squad looked to repeat there younger sides national glory.

All started well for the Latin Crusaders with an early strike from Sensini slamming into the crossbar and then Dexter St John having a goal dissallowed in the 12th minute for offside.

In the 20th minute Captain Aaron De Villion took control of the ball outside the Konora box, chipped one player, took the ball on his thigh and then volleyed a fantastic effort which beat the keeper, hit the cross bar and into the net to make it 1-0.

Konora battled back into the game creating some good chances with a treamendous effort from Sella Novaro hitting the cross bar. Just before half time things turned sour with a nasty tackle by Scott Tonnlinson on Leo Sensini, saw Aaron De Villion react angrily and push the Korona midfielder sparking a small dispute. The referee quickly took back control and showed yellow cards to both De Villion and Tonnlinson.

Minutes later the Korona team were astonished to see the referee not send De Villion off when he made a vicious tackle on Tonnlinson, only to see the referee allow play to continue without even warning De Villion.

Korona came out strong in the second half and on the 51st minute Novaro beat Tyrone Rock with a cheeky flick and then beat Niclas Corinthian by looping the ball over his head and into the net to bring the teams level again at 1-1.

Korona began to take control of the game forcing the Latin Crusaders to defend and nearly taking the lead on a number of occasions but then in the 74th minute a long ball from Rock was won in the air by St John, bought down and flicked onto Enzo Mazzeranni, who struck the ball first time beating the Cartwright to make it 2-1.

St Samuel then defended there lead for the remaining 15 minutes keeping possesion from Korona and playing some simple football without risking there lead. As the final whistle went, St Samuel manager, Louis Della Penzzi, told reporters, "I am pleased with a tough and gritty victory."

Jeremy scanned the stadium, and the thirteen thousand 'slavians that filled it. Filled it. Properly, to the brim. He hadn't expected this. He could never have predicted what was to happen in the next ninety minutes, either.

Three months ago, the newspapers had splashed that iconic image of Auren O`Connor, powering a header into the near post against Wentland, all over their back pages, starting a mini whirlwind of hype that would captivate a fair few citizens of Cathair, Audioslavia's only remaining city. The following Wednesday, in front of a full house, Audioslavia would go and lose by four goals to nil against Satiaville. The media's hype about Audioslavia's amateurs being a match for the mid-ranked nations looked unfounded and downright silly, and the mass exodus of fans from the stadium five minutes before time seemed to echo the nation's thoughts. Football was in Audioslavia's blood, but decades of civil war can play with the minds of the populace. Its one thing kicking your own ass for forty years, its quite another having another nation do it to you, especially at something you traditionally excel at.

With the possibly exception of the very few remaining elders who had survived the war, nobody was really expecting Audioslavia to do well. The fans had looked up and down the group and seen familiar nations in unexpectedly high rankings, with unfamiliar nations just behind them, and dreaded what would happen when those previously unfancied nations would come down and give us a lesson in how to play 'our' game. It didn't seem to matter a jot that it wasn't Audioslavia's game any more. The 4-0 defeat to Satiaville, Jeremy had suspected, would lead to another half-empty stadium for the Bushes Been Quaked match. He was suprised to find the attendance even greater than before. The football bug had landed, bitten and sunk its venom deep beneath the skin of the populace. Unbeknownst to the bug, it was about to met by waves of adrenaline.

Six minutes passed before Audioslavia took what appeared to be an impossible lead. The plucky amateurs of Cathair took the game to BBQ in a manner nobody could have expected, and when Kasper Jansen, his grubby claret shirt untucked and flailing in the autumnal wind, jinked past his marker and drove a low ball accross the box for Alessander Marriot to stab home, the nation seemed to suffer a mass hyperventilation attack. So loud were the celebrations within the stadium that the few stewards around began to feel apprehensive about how this haggard, rag-tag stadium would hold up against the jumping, hollering and swaying.

Back came the old chants. Who knew who taught them to the fans, but back they were. "Hail, Hail, The Bulls are here...", "Weeee are, Audioslavia, we hate Vilita and Rejistania...", "We shall, we shall not be moved, we shall we shall not be moved, by the Les Bleus or the Sharks or the Psychoes! We shall we shall not be moved!". So happy were the fans, that when Auren O`Connor's 30-yard grass-cutter was spilt by the Bushes goalie into the path of Marriot, who converted the rebound for his second of the game, it almost lowered the mood.

In the second half, jubilation turned to nervous apprehention. BBQ began to impose themselves, getting used to the muddy pitch and taking advantage of the home side's comparitively low stamina, they gradually picked up the pace and started peppering Audioslavia's goal with shots. The crossbar was struck twice and Evander Fearteigh had the gods to thank for a belter of a banana shot that somehow struck his elbow as he flapped for it and went out for a corner, as time and time again the 'slaves already leaky defence was breached. The inevitable goal finally came on 78 minutes, a corner flicked on at the near post to one of the many un-marked BBQ players who nodded home for 2-1. From there on it was utter panic stations. Craite and Bomanta, the two reserve centre-halves, were thrown on to replace the two wingers, as Audioslavia resorted to blasting the ball up in the general direction of Auren O`Connor whenever possible, in a hectic 6-3-1 formation. Hearts jumped into mouths as Feateigh again had to pick the ball out of his net, only for the linesman to generously, and miraculously after inspection of the video evidence, rule the goal out for an offside that never was.

With 94 minutes on the clock, the referee blew for time, inciting a full thirteen thousand Audioslavians to start the biggest street party in years.

Nobody expects us to qualify, and thats including Audioslavians, but we may as well have a little fun on the way.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 2 (Marriot 6, 23)
Bushes Been Quaked 1 (Player 78)

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 37 QUALIFIERS COVERAGE
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
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LOTS OF GOALS IN COMPLICATED VICTORY

http://img119.imageshack.us/img119/9266/0774981900oj7.jpg
Chico Serra commemorates Heitor’s goal

And the good campaign of the Monopolists in the World Cup 37 qualifiers continues, in another away game. After defeating Jariss, Cafundéu’s National Team travelled to the unknown country of The Coshairs to play another game, willing to get more three points. But the mission wasn’t easy. The home team, motivated with the fact that the game was against a big team, explored the best of its players, and gave a lot of work to Braddock’s players.

With some surprising attacks, The Coshairs could score many goals against Lauro, and was able to lead the game during most of the first half. But, after the good start of the home team, Cafundéu reacted, showing all the ability of its players and getting the victory after an exciting and difficult game. Some supporters didn’t like the bad performance of the initial minutes, but the power of reaction and the good attacking ability of the team changed their thoughts.

THE GAME

Using the same strategy of the previous games, but with different players (Tramontina and Dário), Cafundéu tried to score in the first minutes of the game. The team had one chance with Tramontina, who shot the ball after getting the ball from a defender. The ball went over the bar. Then, The Coshairs reacted and surprised. In a fast and strong counterattack, a striker invaded the area and shot the ball to score the first goal. Less than five minutes after, in a play similar to the first one, another striker invaded the area, dribbled Lauro and shot to score the second goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“Now the Monopolists arrrrre losing the game. The Coshairrrrrs in another chance, a midfield with the ball. Good pass to an attacker, the team is worrrrrking with speed. The ball goes to another strrrrriker, he invades the arrrrrea, Laurrrrro will get the ball, no, he is drrrrribbled! He will scorrrrre... and it’s a goal! Goal for The Coshairrrrrs! Cafundéu playing verrrrry badly at the moment. The Coshairrrrrs two, Cafundéu zerrrrro! All for your computer, to trrrrransforrrrrm it in a supermachine, only in The Power Computers!”

The coach was desperated, the players couldn’t believe and the supporters started to complain. The situation for the Monopolists was very bad, and the team needed to do something fast. And it was Anormal who created the play that started the reaction of the red-black team. Getting the ball in the midfield, he ran to the attack and made an excellent pass to Flecha, who didn’t have difficulties to score the goal for Cafundéu.

With the goal, Cafundéu’s players could see that the team was the stronger one and could win the game, even after the good start of The Coshairs. But the home team tried to score again. A striker took the ball from Eduardo Monte and tried to shoot, but was blocked by Souza. In the play, he stepped on Souza’s leg, who left the field crying and was substituted by Chico Serra. Cafundéu had a good chance with Dário, who received the ball from Neto and shot with strength, but the keeper made a good save. The second goal came in the last minutes of the first half. Léo Mattos made a long pass to the area, and Heitor headed to score the goal.

http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/9337/jogoquixeramobim08yk4.jpg
Players of The Coshairs with training shirts waiting in the bench

After halftime, Cafundéu returned with only one change: Marcelinho in the place of Tramontina. The Monopolists started the game wanting to get the win, and The Coshairs start to suffer from many attacks. In the first opportunity of the second half, Marcelinho crossed the ball to the area and Anormal headed. The ball hit the bar. But, some minutes later, Cafundéu could finally get the lead, when Dário passed the ball to Heitor. The attacker dribbled two defenders and scored with a chip shot, commemorating with his team mates.

But the goal had a negative consequence. The players of Cafundéu, thinking that the game had become easy and that the victory would came without much effort, didn’t mark the opponents properly. And paid the price. A midfielder invaded the area, and was going to score the goal. Chico Serra fouled him. Penalty and red card to the defender. Two strikers wanted to take the penalty kick and decided to discuss. Suddenly, a third striker came, took the ball from their hands, and took the penalty kick, scoring the goal.

The goal brought the Monopolists back to reality, and the team could react in time. In a fast play, two minutes after The Coshairs’s third goal, Flecha found Dário inside the area and passed the ball to him. The midfielder dribbled the goalkeeper and scored the goal. The visitors could guarantee the victory in the last minutes. Heitor received the ball inside the area and shot. The goalkeeper saved, but the rebound went to Anormal, who shot. A defender blocked the ball, Anormal got another rebound and shot again, this time scoring the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“The game is coming to its end. A difficult victorrrrry for Cafundéu. Four to thrrrrree. Now Toninho is with the ball, good pass to Marrrrrcelinho, good pass to Heitor, look at the shot... grrrrreat save! Anorrrrrmal with the rrrrrebound... hits the defender! Another rrrrrebound for Anorrrrrmal, shoots again... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! The rrrrreplay comes to you! Anorrrrrmal, number five! Cafundéu five, The Coshairs thrrrrree! Want to be a model? Come to Gostosurrrrra Agency, they will help you!”

AFTER THE GAME

Good offensive power, good reaction power, but some serious mistakes made by the defence during the game. That was what Cafundéu showed during the game. The coach Franz Braddock, relieved after the final whistle, said to the media: “Maybe the fact that we didn’t know much of the opponents was the major reason of our bad beginning. But the important thing is that we were able to react and win the game, getting more three points to continue in the first place. For the next game, I’ll have to use Carlão, as two of my defenders are unable to play.”

The players had a lot to talk too, as the game was very exciting. Dário said: “For a moment, I thought that we wouldn’t be able to win this game. But we could show them that we have a very good team, prepared to score even in the most difficult moments.” Another player surrounded by reporters, who was obligated to talk with the press, Eduardo Monte, said: “I didn’t play very well, I admit, and the problems with Souza and Chico turned things worse for the defence. At least my team mates of the attack could help the team to win the game.”

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/7708/5897069737gaek4.jpg
Players battle for the ball in the midfield

THE COSHAIRS 3x5 CAFUNDÉU

Place: unknown, in The Coshairs.
Attendance: unknown.
Referee: Erik Haaklaeinen (Squornshelous).
MOTM: Anormal (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_coshairs.png THE COSHAIRS: no team released.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Lauro, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza (Chico Serra 38’); Anormal, Dário and Neto (Carioca 74’); Tramontina (Marcelinho 45’), Heitor and Flecha.
Coach: Franz Braddock.

Goals:TCO: A Striker 13’ , Another Striker 17’ , A Third Striker 70’.
CAF: Flecha 23’ , Heitor 43’/54’ , Dário 72’ , Anormal 88’.

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Cafundéu – formation for the game against Milchama: Lauro, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Carlão; Anormal, Dário and Neto; Rato, Heitor and Flecha.
Coach: Franz Braddock.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Garth Valxen (Wentland).

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Goalscorers after 4 games:

6- Heitor
2- Neto and Flecha
1- Léo Mattos, Dário, Anormal and Souza

Inside the Landau Institute. One of the classrooms of the medicine course. The teacher is Professor Carla Xavante. The classroom has nearly fifty students. Two of them (Gisele and Pedro) start to talk:

PEDRO - "The lessons of Carla are very boring, don't you think?"

GISELE - "Yes, she is one of the teachers that I hate most."

PEDRO - "Agree with you. I can't learn nothing that she says, she is a bad teacher."

GISELE - "Yes, I prefer Professor Benedito."

PEDRO - "I agree, Benê is the best!"

GISELE - "And the worst thing is that we have her lesson at the same time of Estresse Intenso's game for the World Cup qualifiers!"

PEDRO - "How could I forget? You're right! I don't know why they don't cancel the classes today, so we could see the game!"

GISELE - "They would say that the game isn't important, that we need to become good doctors and all those things that we hear everytime."

PEDRO - "But I'm sure that most of the students here would want to see the game."

GISELE - "I bet that the teachers would too. But you know, the directors are quite harsh."

PEDRO - "Speaking of the National Team, do you think that the doctors will qualify again?"

GISELE - "I don't know. There are some good new players in... Selic, the monk, that girl, I don't remember her name..."

PEDRO - "This without counting the ones that stayed in the team, like Sabin, Matoso, Zetti..."

GISELE - "Yes, we have a strong team."

PEDRO - "And what about the other countries? Have you heard that The Archregimancy has a player who came from the Institute?"

GISELE - "I did. His name is Sérgio, they call him Serginho. He was converted during World Cup thirty-five qualifiers. It's a strange thing. How those monks can convert so many people in so little time?"

PEDRO - "I don't know."

GISELE - "And have you heard of this Serginho before he went to The Archregimancy's National Team?"

PEDRO - "No, I didn't. And this is a very strange thing, as I know the names of nearly all the players of the main teams of the domestic league. Especially from the Monks team, as it is one of my preferred ones."

GISELE - "But I thought that you'd like to be a General Practitioner."

PEDRO - "And I do. But the General Practitioners' team is just an average one, and the Monks' team is already one of the best in the country."

GISELE - "Now I understand. But continuing with the Serginho issue, it's very strange that we don't know him. Was he a doctor or a patient?"

PEDRO - "This is another mystery. Well, if he is so good as a football player and didn't play in our domestic league, he is probably a patient."

GISELE - "Why?"

PEDRO - "Because if he was a doctor, he would be playing in the domestic league. Patients aren't allowed to play there."

GISELE - "So he was a patient."

PEDRO - "I'm not sure, but I think so. Anyway, it was a good thing for him, he is playing for a better-ranked nation. And, if he was a patient, he wouldn't be able to play for our National Team, as only doctors play for us now."

GISELE - "One last question: if he was a patient, he was crazy. Is he still crazy or the monks cured him?"

PEDRO - "I don't know, Gisele. Do you think that I know everything?"

GISELE - "Oh, sorry."

(Gisele looks to Ernesto, one of her friends, who is with an earphone)

GISELE - "Hey, Ernesto, are you hearing to the game?"

ERNESTO - "Yes, I am."

PEDRO - "And are we winning?"

ERNESTO - "No, still zero to zero. A boring game."

GISELE - "How bad."

(The teacher hears them)

PROF. XAVANTE - "You three, please leave the room. You are disturbing the other students."

The Angry Dragon
Turruth Gordur Salvages Draw for First Point

After suffering through three dismal performances, including a thrashing at Capitalizt SLANI, Turruth Gordur was finally able to get a positive performance going, earning a draw against Kiryu-shi at the Timorlug Dome.

Turruth Gordur forward Draco Glaurung saved his team the ignominy of losing a fourth straight qualifier, when he scored off a set piece just outside the goal box during injury time, loosening a huge roar that shook the stands of the Timorlug Dome.

Although Turruth Gordur had grown to be a team to be reckoned with before they missed out on qualifying for the previous World Cup, they have found it very difficult to regain the form that made them the bane of many of the hardiest football teams in Nation States.

Turruth Gordur manager Gorgol “The Butcher” Harad made light of this in a post-game press conference before unleashing another profanity-laden tirade regarding the officiating. “Used to be that when other teams came to the Timorlug Dome they’d quake in their boots knowing that they’d have to deal with the terror of our supporters, the terror of our ferocious players and the terror of losing the match,” he said. “However, these days, it seems that despite our supporters and bruising tactics, we are unable to defeat our opponents where it counts most—on the scoreboard… And you know what? F**k the refs, those bastards have it against us. What are they going to do, fine me? I am sick and tired of our team getting the short end of f***ing bad calls!”

Once again, Glaurung’s demeanor proved to be a stark contrast to that of his manager. “Some may have already counted us out for these tough losses we’ve suffered. However, we can still turn thing around and I feel we will be battling for a spot in the Proper by the end,” he said. “We are all behind our manager and will follow him to the end of existence if need be.”

As The Butcher said, many players of the Kiryu-shi squad had difficulty walking off the field and were visibly hurting and bruised. Although they earned the draw, Kiryu-shi’s players looked thoroughly and literally beaten.

Match Report

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/turruth_gordur.png [44] Turruth Gordur 1 = 1 Kiryu-shi [UK] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/kiryu-shi_.png
TG: Draco Glaurung (90’)
KIR: Garret McGee (32’)
Y: None, R: None
Venue: Timorlug Dome (Attendance: 80,000) | Turruth Gordur

© The Angry Dragon

from the sports section of the Meice Journal...

Crippled from page A1

Four Vephrese players had been suspended as a result of red cards handed out in the Sel Appa match. Recasang Shuke, Hahnea Whaariny, Sorrah Wais, and Sperobis Wilopteere were all unable to play in Naleloospalakintula. Wais, Vephrall's star forward, will be unable to play for quite some time, having received his red as the result of a prolonged altercation with Sel Appa's Karl Gepardo. A disclipinary committee met and decided to give Wais an additional three-match ban, making him unavailable through the midpoint of qualifying before being allowed to return against British Londinium.

The vastly weakened Vephrall squad proved largely ineffective against Naleloospalakintula, particularly on defense. There was some good news, with Thwante Uambe making great use of his temporary time in the spotlight up front by scoring two goals. Unfortunately, Ocilla Shuke's inexperience in goal was very apparent. Shuke was playing in place of Hahnea Latissle, who had been complaining of a foot injury possibly due to his kick to Samantha Sitran's jaw that really should have netted him a red card rather than just a yellow. The game was never close, and the home team should be perfectly satisfied with the 4-2 final score.

Meanwhile, team manager Ostalir Pasarap has now received the dreaded vote of confidence from the Vephraller Foutbiller Restritris. Motives for his potential dismissal, according to an anonymous VFR representative, include general poor performance, with the team having failed to win a match since the game against Lovisa on the first matchday of the Cup of Harmony almost three years ago, and his apparent lack of squad discipline which led to all the current suspensions. It is very possible that anything short of a win against Kansiov next month could seal his fate.

Final score
Naleloospalakintula 4 (Mercèraðà 20', 72'; Mikkel 32'; Erland 85')
VEPHRALL 2 (Uambe 17', 52')

Is that it?

The simple headline does not indicate the seriousness of the matter. The 2-0 loss to Az-cz looks like the next round is gone to the VDB. Seoula Vitakiralski took care of the Vanek'ians dreams, scoring two goals, both in the second half. The score is misleading. The VDB was playing gallantly, and so was Az-cz. But Az-cz got the breaks. The corner kick that was blown by the wind, and the shot that deflected off Vanek'ian defender . But the Az-czs won, and the Vanek'ians continue to be winless and with one goal. The only good part about this season was the fact that so many young players got experience for the next World Cup. This was the cleaness game the Vanek'ians have been in yet.

Striker Thomas Vanek, age 16, shows plenty of promise, scoring the only goal in the World Cup for the Vanek'ians, but showed his injury from the Kansiovian game may still affect his performance. He was substituted in the 70th minute. The trainer was optimistic about him, however, predicting he will be 100% for the next game vs.

Box Score:

Vitakiralski (46)
Vitakiralski (Stoppage Time)

Injuries:

None

Cards:

None

Substitutions:

Vanek-Madend (70)

Scoring Leaders (Vanek'ians)

Vanek-1

Schedule:

Sel Appa 2-0 VDB
VDB 0-0 Vephrall
Kansiov 3-1 VDB
VDB 0-2 Az-cz
Next Game: VDB vs. Estresse Intenso

Kilod's Bad Day?

H: Today Kilod missed three times. Every time Okudil managed to score in the first half he let down his guard. It was i Gogari's Stadium as opposed to his home Falcon Field but could he be getting arrogant? We have Kilod here to answer.

K: Thank you. Today I thought was going to be hard but Okudil kept scoring so I was letting my guard down. Not to mention that my two defense didn't do much. Although I won't shift all the blame to them. I should actually give credit to the Strikers of the Holy Empire.

H: Do you think you will be distracted in tomorrow's match?

K: No, I believe that the only teams to fear are the Holy Empire and Arridia. With the Holy Empire and Arridia playing each other tomorrow we can expect another win.

H: You're sounding cocky. If Uiri manages a third place finish do you think the play-off round will be tough?

K: It really all depends on who we face. The best teams in the world will most likely make 1st or 2nd so we have a pretty equal chance of getting or not getting in.

H: What do you think will be the biggest challenge for the game in the Holy Empire.

K: The fans. With all that cheering for the guy in front of you it's really hard to think. I think the Uirè fans really helped Ederat score his goal in the second half.

H: What do you think about tomorrow's match in St. Samuel?

K: Well, it'll be the second time I've had to flown to a different country to play an away game this season and I'm getting used to it. They'll be an easy team though.

H: You are being bery cocky for some one who let in three goals.

K: Yeah, I know. I just feel so good because it's my first international sporting event with nations outside the region and teams which would be expected to beat us.

H: Yeah, that is pretty awesome. Everyone thought being drawn in the same group as the former World Cup champions would be bad luck for the Geese.

K: The Holy Empire won the 36th World Cup?

H: No, Ariddia did.

K: Oh, well that'll be a big surprise if we beat 'em.

H: Yes, yes it will be.

K: Well, I have to go now, you know, practice and all.

H: I see. Well, that's all for now and good night.

Sometimes, inspiration comes in the unlikeliest of places.

The 35,000-seat Zytwik Stadium is one of those places. In many respects it's your generic bowl - single tier of seating, an all-encompassing roof, modern facilities. It could be anywhere.

However.

The seats are black, they are tightly packed and tightly raked, and they are very close to the pitch. The result is a wall of noise akin to stadia twice the size.

Like, say, the appalling White Hope Stadium in Trilan. Capacity, 60,000. Noise, about 60 decibels. It's a library of football, with no common sense in its design. Thoroughly befitting of the socialist nation with its fallacious egalitarian beliefs. Belief that the sinner is equal to the saint. Belief that the murderer has human rights equal to his victim before the act. At least their tax is flat. They've finally worked out the lazy deserve to be punished. There's still a massive incentive to be unemployed though. Hundreds of thousands are.

It's obvious our former rulers could not cope with us. They looked frightened. We knew this was the biggest match possible. They treated it as something to be done with. Then they realised that they couldn't do it, and fear paralysed them.

It left Luke Zerkowski all the space imaginable to run past a so-called defence and pick his spot in the net where a goal was certain - and sure enough, it went in.

The second half was the most comfortable in Zyla's history. Feeble attacks came and went, and Zyla just toyed with the ball.

At the final whistle, something extraordinary happened. 11:20pm, a time when most Zylans are sleeping, was the time for street parties. The first time in history where street parties have been allowed for any reason other than the coronation of the King. It is a fabulous day.

But tomorrow we shall work hard, and Kura-Pellandis shall not, and we shall emerge triumphant, zipping ahead.

Taken from a live broadcast of the #1 news program in Endmile, Een Loepende Zaak.

Alec: "And now we go to our Senior Football Correspondent, Klaas van den Bergh. Can you hear us, Klaas?"

Klaas: "Yes, thank you, Alec. I'm here at Revolution Arena with the manager of the State team, Maarten Timmons. So Maarten, how are you feeling about the tournament so far?"

Maarten: "It's going pretty well so far. We've had some big victories that have pushed us to the front of the group. Obviously, there's room for improvement - particularly in our offense. While we are tied for second in points with several teams, our goal deficit is causing us trouble. We really need to work on scoring."

Klaas: "How do you feel about the group draw? I noticed Daehanjeiguk is in our group again."

Maarten: "That's right. They're a great team, and we always seem to end up playing them. It's starting a bit of a rivalry between the fans, as well as the players, which is always good. Having played them before gives us some insight into their play, but that's a two way street."

Klaas: "Of course. What about Assegai Developments?"

Maarten: "Obviously I'm not happy about our loss to them. Their clean sheet just reiterates my claim that we need to work on scoring. Our defense wasn't looking too bad, and I think there were a few questionable calls that contributed. I won't get into that, though. Ultimately, it was our play that gave us the loss. Assegai Developments is not a team to turn your nose up at. We need to stay focused if we're going to make it out of the qualifying round this time.

Klaas: "Do you think we will?"

Maarten: "I'm not looking that far ahead yet. We need to take this one game at a time. Focus on our play, our defense, and our scoring."

Klaas: "Well, the people wish you the best of luck."

Maarten: "Thanks, Klaas. I only hope I can meet their expectations."

Klaas: "Back to you, Alec."

Alec: "Thanks, Klaas. Now on to national news. The State decided today to hold pet owners accountable for their pets' actions..."

News items from Le Monde, daily newspaper to the Deddiquois (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Deddick).

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/lemonde.png

PREPARATIONS IN HAND FOR MONKS
Deddiquois are abuzz with the imminent arrival of the #2 seeded football team in Errinundera’s group in World Cup 37 – the Archregimancy. There are several reasons why they have a special place in the hearts of fans all over Errinundera. Let us examine some of them.

Firstly, their team uniforms are universally admired. We consulted fashion consultant, sointlesp, who confirmed that the monks’ dress sense was impeccable. “The ultimate test of any great fashion is whether form triumphs over function. In their case the answer is an emphatic yes. These blokes exemplify haute couture at its most inspirational.”

Then there’s the Father David factor. When former local star owiavi sprayed his homeland upon leaving the Potoroos, his public stocks sank to the abyss. Somehow, since then he has pulled it around. We don’t know why but he is now the most popular football player in the entire nation. The official Father David Fan Club has over 75 million members and is the 16th largest economic enterprise in Errinundera. Perhaps anaticalf, the Convenor of the FDFC can shed some light on the matter. “He’s a local boy, you know. Remember when the Mancies played a friendly here four years ago we pelted him with sex aids? Somehow that triggered fans’ sympathies and it blossomed from there. He is the number one pin-up boy for adolescent girls and young women. Enter any house or climb any tree and you are likely to find a picture gracing a fan’s wall. And, believe me, there’s some pretty wild pictures from his owiavi days.”

Finally there’s the monks’ lifestyle. Team uniforms and iconographic idolatry aside, the austere routines and comradely organisation of the monks are widely admired. Several communities in Goolengook, a region particularly noted for its ready adoption of fads, have started secular monasteries. We spoke with the Convenor of the Goolengook Women’s Monastic Retreat, loopyt, who was decked out in gorgeous full length monastic garb in tasteful beige and cream tones. “Look, I don’t go in for the all the liturgical hokey pokey but the comradely love and spiritual exploration are truly inspirational. Actually, we found the 4am starts a bit of a drag so, after a vote of all members, we agreed that morning meditation would begin at 9:30.”

Potoroo striker, immelfar, himself an orthodox believer, has been assigned the job of organising affairs for the monks during their visit. “I have managed to book the former Deddique Estate Royale for their accommodation. It is close to the stadium and has its own gymnasium, well-equipped kitchen and sumptuous sleeping quarters. We’ve converted the smoking room into a chapel that we hope will be blessed by the monks upon their arrival. There aren’t many Orthodox Christians in Errinundera, perhaps a few hundred, but I am reliably informed that almost all are making a pilgrimage to Deddick to catch a glimpse of the monks and, if they are especially favoured, receive a blessing.”

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/DeddickMansion.jpg
Deddique Estate Royale

LUCKY ESCAPE FOR POTOROOS

Star striker scerberu single-handedly secured a win for the Potoroos today in their match against World Cup minnows, Integrite. Her hat trick of goals not only saved the three points but also saved the game from the mire. Down 2-1 at half time, the “Destroyer” turned it on and scored 2 goals in two minute late in the second half to spoil the day for the hosts.

At a press conference after the game, Potoroo coach rosaniel paid tribute to the Grites. “Their preparation for the game was excellent. They clearly studied our play carefully and developed a gameplan that effectively nullified our style. If you were uncharitable you could say they brought us down to their level but I think that would be most unfair. It takes a lot of discipline to stick to such a highly structured game plan but, to their credit, they managed it. Fortunately for us, it’s hard to keep true class down and scerberu was not to be held back. We are now a benchmark for other sides, a tall poppy to be cut off at the stem, so we need to be more flexible in our response to what opponents throw at us.”

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Integrite.png
Integrite 2
(someone 17, someone else 57)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 3
(scerberu 33, 73 & 75)
(leighm medal votes: scerberu 3, agloir 2, catsuku 1)

Errinundera's WC37 scorers:
scerberu 7
breretond 3
avilmou 2
immelfar 1
sanoo 1

leighm medal tally:
scerberu 7
agloir 5
aptai 3
henyua 3
catsuku 2
haimaidu 2
avilmou 1
eboshiadu 1

TEAM SELECTION FOR THE GAME AGAINST THE ARCHREGIMANCY

Forwards: scerberu, breretond, avilmou, otemki (sub)
Midfielders: agloir (dvc), henyua, ipieomenicu, catsuku, iribu (sub)
Backs: haimaidu (vc), aryayre, eboshiadu, froesu (sub)
Keepers: oyavereig, readnough (sub)

In: otemki, ipieomenicu, rednough
Out: immelfar (rested), aprikap (rested), onito (groin)

Venue: Stade di siaros, Deddick.

For the first time in a long time, it was a Soccer Weekend in Casari. It would take a while for the Soccer Weekend to get back it's 4 day status, but it was a start. The TV rights were sold, the *ktchunk* *ktchunk* noises of stadium floodlights echoed on empty terraces. The seats were sprayed off with fire hoses, garbage was swept up, and the games began.

Tyrellia City and International started off the festivities at Saturday at noon, with the typical horribly violent game between the two setting off the whole thing once again. Old, hideous away shirts were dug out of closets and put on. Of course, it all led up to the International match on Sunday Night.

The ground level lighting of previous matches on the Downs were replaced with some helium balloons which contained extremely bright lights inside and a mirrored top, lighting the field with less of a potential for blinding.

The downs were already rolling by 2, a full five hours before the match. Fans were wearing their old kits, covering the hills around the field and yelling things like "How the hell do you spell your name?" as the visiting team practiced.

---

"I don't think our uniforms are ugly enough." Torrin said, staring at his team shirt as it hung in front of him.

"What?" Will said, turning. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"It's just not ugly. We always wore truly hideous uniforms before."

"You're just overthinking things. They look ugly enough."

"How on earth could we be possibly expected to blind our opponenets without ugly kits?"

"I dunno, put the lights back up?" Yara said, yawning and streching.

"I'm just saying, they could be uglier."

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about." Silvia said, checking her appearance in the mirror and adjusting the ski goggles on her forehead.

"That's another thing, you don't have to wear those! It's not bright out."

"But they look cool. It's part of our asthetic."

"It's soccer, we don't need an asthetic!"

"Says the person who thinks our kits need to be uglier."

Torrin sat down the sighed, defeated. Next to him, Ari was on his third meat pie.

Mike raised an eyebrow at Ari, watching. "One of these days, you're going to take a ball to the stomach and puke, right there on the field."

"Aye, it's going to be awesome." Ari said.

---

The seventy-first minute saw Casari up comfortably 3-1, but the team was still defending a strong Daehanjeigukian (?) attack. A shot from the left front corner of the penalty area curved wickedly towards the goal, Lori more than a step out of position.

Suddenly, Ari jumped and streched, a diving block, getting hit directly on the stomach. Curling up for a moment, he rolled up on his hands and knees as Lucia cleared the ball. "You ok, Ari?"

Ari nodded, slowly rising to his feet and taking some deep breaths. "Heh, a stomach of iron."

"That still doesn't mean I can understand how you eat the crap you do." She said, following the play forward.

"it's all about the spices."

"Don't you people think you could come up with a better time to discuss this?!" Lori yelled from back in goal.

---

"You know, I miss all the old countries. These new ones just aren't as classy." Pan said, sitting and relaxing in the locker room after the game.

"What do you mean?"

"Like Bedistan, or Krytenia. The teams that were really fun to travel to and drink far too much and pass out in a field someplace."

"You know you were probably 4 when we last played any of those teams." Mike said.

"My point remains valid."

"You have no idea whatsoever what that'd be like. You've been out of the country and passed out drunk in a field once. There's no room for comparison."

"There's a little."

"Nope."

"What about Spruitland? Spruitland was always fun to watch."

"They were usually stoned off their brains, too."

"But still, fun."

"... Fine, I'll agree with that, but that's it."

"Aww, you know you were as excited as anyone else whenever we beat Bedistan, too."

Mike sighed. "Does this have a point?"

Pan shrugged. "Not really, but it's still true."

---

The fans left the downs mostly placated with the 4-2 win, completing the return of soccer to Casari and the end of the National Team's campaign in some field in the middle of nowhere- the next two games will be played at Tyrellia Hill, home to Tyrellian International, pending the refurnishing of Ylompic National Stadium.

FROM: kay.rigney@102d·.zz
TO: art.pend@u102d.edu.zz
SENT: 5:02 9/17/95
SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Regreshin

lol

>defens is the best part!

>>so^

>>>just tels abowt golz, ¬defens

>>>>y^

>>>>>meh, newa it ??

>>>>>> lol Vuam's just 1/2 the nam of the n8n, so "Vuam & Isma 1 (70)"

>>>>>>> try this templ8:

Zwangzug 4 (Stings 11, Olson 29, Vanderpent 38, Olson 56)
Vuam & Isma 1 (Vuam 70)

>>>>>>>>> riting abowt the futbal gam-i'm 2 laz to acshuly rit a (x+y=z)re. i can du lik box scorz 4 basbal but futbal ¬hav them. so i figured i cud modl the path of the bal in a formula

>>>>>>>>>> what do u ned it 4^

>>>>>>>>>>> fin then i'l uz 45th twis lol

>>>>>>>>>>>> i ¬hav that, sore

>>>>>>>>>>>>> um i ned lik 91st°

>>>>>>>>>>>>>> yep

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ha u got a polynomial regreshin thingy^^

"Wow!"

"What?"

"We are sucking in the World Cup"

"I know, it's almost as bad as Derry and Carlson's performance at Ehill this weekend"

"Yeh 1-5 that was rough, anyway we only have 8 points so something is clearly wrong"

"Definitely"

"Well then what should we do?"

"That's simple we pray"

"Which deity?"

"It's the 10 days of tshuvah so it's pretty obvious"

"*Insert Hebrew words for praying here*"

"I don't think our great God cares about football games"

"But I do think that Margaret does"

"Isn't Margaret a deity?"

"No, she is a person who helps us out when we give her rubber chickens"

"Oh ok then, let us 'pray' to Margaret"

"Sounds good"

"Do as I say and do as I do!"

"OK!"

''Ringa pakia!''
''Uma tiraha!''
''Turi whatia!''
''Hope whai ake!''
''Waewae takahia kia kino!''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru''
''Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā''
''Ā upane, ka upane''
''Whiti te rā, hī!''

"Good! now say something, ANYTHING!"

"Floohare!" Floohare!"
"1-5!" 1-5!"
"3-3!" "3-3!"
"TOC!" "TOC!"
"Kleptochase!" Kleptochase!"

"Now run around screaming wildly"

*82 seconds later*

"That still seems like a really stupid part of the ceremony"

"I think it was made so that the creators could have sex with naked hot women"

"That makes a lot of sense anyway"

"Margaret we ask thee that you may give us victory in our next match over our foes, and the match after that and the one after that. We need wins and we know that you care to provide them. To ensure these victories we give you 4 rubber chickens and a rubber goat that you may eat with glee"

*Sacrifices all of the rubber animals one at a time*

"May you accept our sacrifices dear Margaret and may you bring us victory and good tidings for the rest of the World Cup"

"Amen."

"Amen."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/teleoli24logoresized.png

Charles Marceau: Oliverrie was playing soccer tonight right, André?

André Guertin: Yeah. Tonight's game looked more like an all-star game between la Première Ligue and the SALT League, as l'Oliverrie was facing la Limbrogidlie. For some of you, I'm going to spoil the score with this report, so if you want to watch it, you can turn your TV to TéléOli Un, as the game is currently airing there.

The game started well for the Oliverrian team. At the 6th minute, Augustin Thérriault received a pass from defenceman René Gibeau and kicked from 30 metres to give l'Oliverrie a lead. This goal seems to have given a boost to the Oliverrians, which were controlling the ball for the rest of the half. For example, let's look at the 21st minute, where Isaac Lacombe had an empty netter, but shot completely wide. Another example at the 37th minute, where Lacombe, once again, had a shot at scoring, but this time, Ernuit was there to save it. Despite the Oliverrian domination, l'Oliverrie was leading 1-0 at the half.

At the beginning of the 2nn Half, the tension between the two teams were at a high never experienced before, as John Bellard and Gustave Nicol were about to fight when the referee had to intervene, giving them both a red card. Bellard seems to have awaken his team, as at the 48th minute, la Limbrogidlie tied the game on a great strike by Bennit Vanit. At the 72nd minute, James Lexis was tripped by Franck Marceau in the penalty zone, meaning that a penalty was to get called. Marceau, as the last defender, was sent off the game. This penalty was saved by Eugène Bolduc. But that was only a warning, as the Red Stars would score a second goal at the 86th minute, goal that settled the game as Lexis would score a memorable goal. They would not look behind themselves and la Limbrogidlie won incredibly 2-1 against l'Oliverrie.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/teleoli24graphicwc37md4.png

After the game, obviously, I went to interview Roger Parizeau. Here is what he had to say:

Roger Parizeau: These guys suck! How could they let a 1-0 lead slide from them? This is not something they should have done and I'm going to let them know they did bad. About les Limbrogidliens, they played a great match, but we definitely need to beat these guys. If we don't, we suck. Period.

André Guertin: I was not allowed to interview the players, as they were too down hearted to reply. So, that's it Charles.

[OOC - Erri, the reference to rosaniel as 'him' is intentional and IC.]

THE MONASTIC TIMES

DELESA DEFEATED
Archregimancy Prepares to Meet 'Angelic' Errinundera Coach

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

With the Delesa match resulting in an easy 2-0 victory for the Archregimancy through a brace by Fr. Innocent of Ariddia, the attention of all sporting fans in the Holy Monastic Republic is turning to the single most difficult match in the qualifiers: the away trip to Errinundera.


Despite the status of most Errinunderans as atheistic irreligious heathens, many citizens of the Archregimancy have a surprisingly healthy respect for the land of the long-footed potoroo - and not just because they provided our national team with its current international-class goalkeeper.


"It's the everyday way of life in this enchanting land" explained Fr. Alexander the Wanderer, who has visited Errinundera on several occasions. "They respect the natural environment of God's creation, they engage in a form of severe vegetarianism that only the Holiest of ascetic hermits would consider, they have true respect for their fellow man regardless of race or ethnic background, and they engage in a communitarian lifestyle that many of us would find deeply familiar. It's almost be enough to believe that they're Orthodox without even realising it! Not sure we can entirely endorse this 'secular monasticism' - but their hearts are sort of in the right place."


Though former Errinunderan Fr. David of the Woods continues to insist that "there may be a misunderstanding", Monastic Football Association officials are said to be particularly eager to meet Potoroo coach rosaniel, who is almost always described by his own media as 'angelic'. "Despite the minority status of Orthodoxy in Errinundera, if this person is as angelic as we hear, we hope that this inspiring figure may be, in some manner, likened unto our venerable father among the saints Seraphim of Sarov (http://www.orthodoxwiki.org/Seraphim_of_Sarov)" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity.


The governing Liberal faction in the MFA were meanwhile said to be delighted at the hospitality expected to be shown to the Archregimancy squad by the home nation. "The Deddique Estate Royale is more than acceptable as a home base during our stay in this blessed realm, and this gracious offer of fine accomodation shows the value of our new policy of respect and tolerance towards the unconverted" said a senior hieromonk, also speaking on condition of anonymity. "We will, of course, be delighted to bless the estate's new chapel, and look forward to welcoming all local Orthodox believers - especially immelfar - to a celebration of the Divine Liturgy in the new chapel the night before the match." The Holy Synod is believed to have arranged for Fr. Matthew the Marsupial-Herder to stay on in Errinundera after the match in order to serve as monk-priest to the tiny but growing local Orthodox community, contingent on local authorities not placing any quarantine restrictions on Fr. Matthew's personal warren of rare Arcto-Slavic Hairy-Nosed Wombats.


In related news, the MFA was quick to downplay Fr. David of the Woods' iconic status in Errinundera. "Given that this is his native land, his popularity is quite understandable, especially given his occasionally heroic performances in WC36. We hope that, properly chanelled, this will help to bring others from the land of his birth to the fullness of Orthodoxy" said a particularly senior starets, also speaking on condition of anonymity. As to rumours of 'wild images' from Fr. David's youth, the MFA were fairly relaxed, noting only that "if we held a wild youth against men of God, there wouldn't be that many saints of the early church."

Elven Times
Step Up or Step Down

Not the best two games for the Marauders, as the trap game against Cookesland turned out to be just that, as a last gasp equalizer by Cookesland had the team share the points. For the first time in the tournament, the squad had conceded a goal, and then to add insult, conceded another in the last minute to allow their scoreless and perfect streaks come to a crashing end. However, unlike their former colony in Demot, the squad was resiliant enough to hold out for the draw, have yet to lose a match, and are still in the top two of their group heading into this weekend's big match against the second seed of the respected groups. The offence has not been the Marauders problems, as they have put up eleven goals in the first four affairs. The defence hasn't been shaky either, apart from the trap game against Cookesland, but still is lacking something that would totally convince you that this team is ready to step up and win the title they covet, and the entire nation behind them desires more than anything else in this material world.

Up next is the defensive powerhouse of Wentland, who despite their reputation, has been lighting up the scoreboard as well as keeping the back of their nets nice and pure. For those of you who remember, it was Wentland who knocked the Marauders out of the Proper back in World Cup 33 in their quarterfinal match up, which is having alot of the players from that squad licking thier chops in hopes of extracting some measure of revenge on the Wents, as well as leapfrogging them back into first place in the group. No one is more looking forward to the match than attacking midfielder Rick Cuellar, who was completely shut down back in that fixture twelve years ago.

"It's not typical that you get grouped with the team that knocked you out of the tournament and when you do, it really makes you get psyched up. Not only are you playing for the squad, but you're looking to go out their and gain that honor they stole from you by knocking you out. You always say that it's all a game and that there is no hard feelings, but when a team takes you down in that stage of the tournament, it really leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and feels like you lost a little bit of youself, or maybe just your pride. I'm one of the few players on the starting roster that played in that game, and on behalf of my other teammates and myself, I am going to go out there and give it all that I have, and hope that it is enough for us to stroll on and take those points that we need."

Cuellar has been doing his part, as he has three assists and a goal to his credit, but for being a captain, he has yet to get the most out of Jaques and Kries in the pressure situations. Constant is bound to be dissapointed with his captain, as he was always able to bring out the best in his teammates when he wore the armband, and was bound to be expecting the same when he handed the C to the veteran midfielder. If the struggles of the midfield and defence persist, you might see a switch of captancy, with Jannian likely being the person to take up the armband, as he hold soo much respect from his mates. But as football is a doubled edged sword, we know that if a solid performance from front to back is had in the crucial matchup of the top two seeds of the group, that the motivation trouble rumors will be put to rest, and Cuellar retain the captancy. To whichever fate let it be, so long as the players have the drive and passion that one would expect from a championship hopeful.

Elves Security Forces 2
Kiso Night (38)
Jere Jannian (56)

Cookesland 2
Colin Short (19, 90)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elves Security Forces 3
Laborious Hawk (8)
Kiso Night (34)
Ikles Razov (82)

The Crescent Republic 1
Midfielder 2 (42)

Scorers
Kiso Night 5
Ikles Razov 2
Laborious Hawk 2
Rick Cuellar 1
Jere Jannian 1

Schedule
MD1: ESF v Audioslavia 5-0
MD2: Sativaville v ESF 0-1
MD3: ESF v Cookesland 2-2
MD4: The Crescent Republic v ESF 1-3
MD5: ESF v Wentland
MD6: Bushes Been Quaked v ESF
MD7: ESF v Prux
MQF: ESF v Az-cz
MQF: ESF v Bettia
MD8: Audioslavia v ESF
MD9: ESF v Sativaville
MD10: Cookesland v ESF
MD11: ESF v The Crescent Republic
MD12: Wentland v ESF
MD13: ESF v Bushes Been Quaked
MD14: Prux v ESF
PQF: ESF v Jeruselem

Article by Luna Santapa

Kiryu-shi Demolished

By Rebecca Doig

Timorlug, Turruth Gordur Turruth Gordur has a reputation of being a physically dominating team, and they certainly showed what kind of play they are known for against Kiryu-shi. The scoreline, one to one, wasn’t a disaster for Kiryu-shi, but the long term ramifications of the numerous injuries might mean that they fail to qualify for yet another World Cup. Turruth Gordur had struggled to have any success during their first three matches, losing their three matches by a combined total score of two to nine. Kiryu-shi, meanwhile, had won back to back games. It seemed like they would have a good chance of winning. But apparently Turruth Gordur was angry.

____From the onset, the match looked like it was going to be long and harrowing for the relatively delicate Kiryu-shi team. Mayberry was already partially injured with an ankle sprain, and both Moya and Pruet didn’t seem to be 100%. Turruth Gordur, meanwhile played hard, aggressive football to start out the game. The first whistle was blown when midfielder Magda the Forsaken pounded Hellen Gandy into the ground while they were going for a header in the just the third minute. Gandy would play on, but the pattern was established. Turruth Gordur kept on roughing up Kiryu-shi players with fouls that were just short of being cards. The officials did a good job of calling fouls, and Kiryu-shi had a ton of set piece opportunities, but they were out muscled in the penalty area numerous times by the Turruth Gorduer defenders. In the 28th minute, the first real injury occurred. Isaac Levi received a pass and was flying up the sidelines when he was tackled by defender Boldog Gothmog. It was actually a clean play, and no foul was called, but Levi had to be taken out of the match. He was replaced by Martin Jones. In the 32nd minute, Kiryu-shi finally capitalized on a set play. After Mayberry was tripped up along the right sideline, Hellen Gandy sent in a beautiful free kick, and Garret McGee, battling with multiple defenders, managed to get a solid head on the ball and smashed it into the back of the net, momentarily silencing the raucous Turruth Gordur crowd. The score remained the same until the half.

____During halftime, two more key Kiryu-shi players were taken out with injuries. Mayberry had re-aggravated his ankle, and team doctors decided that he shouldn’t stay in the game. He was replaced by Matty Truth-Hoffman. Garret McGee was also taken out. He had apparently suffered a concussion at some point, and was replaced by defender Orson Wells. Kiryu-shi thus switched their formation from a 5-4-1 to a 7-3-0 in an attempt to hold on to their slim one goal lead. They managed to control the match despite getting pounded upon for most of the second half. Turruth Gordur would often come pretty deep into Kiryu-shi’s side of the field, but they kept on getting foul after foul called against them, and Kiryu-shi would have an opportunity to clear the ball and regroup their defense. This pattern kept on going until a particularly aggressive foul committed by Gromper Grîpper on Bob Moya in the 87th minute. Moya had to be carted off the field and couldn’t be replaced, as Kiryu-shi had already used up their three substitutions. This particular foul also caused Doug LeBlanc to lose control. He started playing like he was possessed, continuously sprinting around the field, aggressively charging the ball carriers and clearing the ball for around five minutes. However, a few minutes into stoppage time, he went too far. Grîpper had the ball, and LeBlanc just ran through him, knocking him to the ground just a few yards outside the penalty area. With time winding down, Turruth Gordur captain Draco Glaurung stepped up to take the kick. The Kiryu-shi wall looked battered and physically weak as they lined up to attempt to stop the shot. Draco Glaurung calmly deposited the ball past everyone into the back of the net, and the game ended tied one to one. Kiryu-shi will have to recover as best they can to play Vikingholm, another extremely physical team. Kiryu-shi will play their starters again, apparently, but they are being kept under close watch, especially Mayberry and Moya.

From: The HURDist Taeshanite now with 100% less Taeshan affiliation

The GNUs of HURD drew against The Islands of Qutar 2:2. Konqueror scored and dillo from a free kick. for the Islands of Qutar, #13 and #9 scored.

From: The HURDist Lovisian now with 100% less Lovisa affiliation

Well, hurdisian teams, all matches draw. The Islands of Qutar 2-2 The HURD

From: The HURDist Aquillan now with 100% less Aquilla affiliation

The HURD drew with Busby, errr Qutar 2-2.

From: The HURDist Weegie now with 100% less Weegies affiliation_

HURDists drew.

Demot Daily ~ Signs

After a very dissapointing first three matches, two of which they lost and two in which this offensive minded squad failed to even net a goal, they Dynamo rebounded decently in front of a now must win against Oliverry. Putting four goals against the weak side is not a cure for the poor luck that has striken the Dynamo and shaken the dedication of their faithful, but it is enough to perhaps reverse the bad momentum that them last in the group through the first three matchdays. The swing in fortunes is timely not only for the squad, but for their skipper, the heroic Masteron, whom many fans were starting to call for his job. But as stated, the win is timely, and with a huge matchup looming on Wednesday against the second seed, Oliverry, things can be turned around and all can be well in Demot after the shaky start.

Alot of the teams woes can be attributed to pure bad luck, as they had hit the woodwork in the Casari match no less than four times, in which the Casarians were able to turn into counters that resulted in their chances. Against the strong Assegai squad, it was the midfield that failed them, as their former rivals controlled the middle of the pack, but Orien was there to keep his net free from the oppisitions strikes. And against Endmile, it was just a complete disaster as the Dynamo got completed outplayed in all phases of the game in front of their homes fans for a second straight match. Thankfully, an offensive explosion, including a hat trick from national team debutant Maria Hart, has restored some of the valor to the struggling team. Still, the midfield has yet to impress, and a change in tactics might be needed if the squad is to make a complete turnaround.

Though Oliverry is indeed the two seed, the match seems to favor the Dynamo, as they have had the Frenchies number for some time now, including two victories against them two years ago in the same phase of the tournament. Look for Swordhand to be more aggressive down the flanks and join in the attack more to put pressure on the Frenchies, and give support to a midfield that has indeed been quite wretched soo far. If they needed any more incentive to put on a good performance in front of their home fans, there are rumors that the possible Hosting bid for World Cup 38 with regional friends Az-cz could be on the line, or even terminated if the Dynamo fail to make their way back up the table and into the Proper. Not only wanting to continue their run of prescence in the tournament Proper, but also to get the chance to host the event is sure to motivate this rather lucklustre squad, or else these lads do not deserve to wear that Dynamo uniform that soo many have worn proudly before them.

Scorers
Maria Hart 3
Thoril Forgedawn 2

Schedule
MD1: Demot v Casari 0-3
MD2: Assegai v Demot 0-0
MD3: Demot v Endmile 1-2
MD4: Wehrmacher v Demot 0-4
MD5: Demot v Oliverry
MD6: Daehanjeiguk v Demot
MD7: Demot v Limbrogidlia
MD8: Casari v Demot
MD9: Demot v Assegai
MD10: Endmile v Demot
MD11: Demot v Wehrmacher
MD12: Oliverry v Demot
MD13: Demot v Daehanjeiguk
MD14: Limbrogidlia v Demot

Article by Rich Baker

Taken from The Coricas Post

MD 4
Cookesland - 2 Sativaville - 0

Cookesland celebrated a win over the team from Sativaville that also bumped them up a spot in the Group Two rankings.

Both goals were scored by striker Colin Short. The real hero of the game was goalie Victor Altum who blocked three attempts at a goal from the opposing side.

With this latest update the team's record is 2-1-1

Go Owls!!!

This is the RP cutoff.

And these (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13062388&postcount=8) are the scores.

Amda-Mo: Well another win pushes us to the top of the table beating Vanek Drury Brieres 2-0.

Lur-Mn: Yes, but that was about as disappointing of a 2-0 win as we could've expected. Not the dominating performance we wanted to see.

Amda-Mo: How so?

Lur-Mn: Well a number of fluke plays went in our favor. Seoula's first goal was almost an own goal as it went careening off a Vanek Drury Brieres defender, without which it probably wouldn't have gone in. Then there was the corner kick that seemed to get blown off it's intended line when one of their defenders seemed to have gotten a good line on it. And the SoulElf's second goal came after Vanek Drury Brieres had given up, so it was really more of a 1-0 win.

Amda-Mo: So you think it should've been a draw then?

Lur-Mn: No, I think we were better, but not much. We deserved the victory, but their fans have to be disappointed not to have gotten at least a point. Still we found the way to win, which is definitely worth something. We've avoided any results that really shouldn't happen so far.

Amda-Mo: How about positives?

Lur-Mn: Well our defense was excellent today. Haji-Me, Ca-Fu and Hi-Kui were all at the top of their games. They had barely any chances. After their corner kick went awry we pretty much smothered them and they didn't look much like finding an equalizer after that.

Amda-Mo: So the offense was the worry point today?

Lur-Mn: Yep. That it was. There's certainly ability there, but we've yet to really put together both sides of the ball. We'll need to do that to keep our strong record going.

Amda-Mo: Before we get to the analysis of the next match, let's take a look around the group.

Lur-Mn: Not a good day for our rivals. Sel Appa was stunned 3-2 by Kansiov and Estresse Intenso was held to their third draw by British Londinium. Amazingly Kansiov has already played Sel Appa and Estresse Intenso and has 10 points and tied with us barring goal differential. So our group, like most of them, is a bit topsy-turvy early on.

Amda-Mo: So how does that result affect our match going forward?

Lur-Mn: It only makes it all the tougher. I'm sure the Turtles had their sights set on winning this group, but if they fall to us they'll be six points behind and still have a game left against Estresse Intenso this half of the schedule. So they'll be dead set on making sure to get at least one. It will be a tough match. It is amazing to think that though, considering the matchups when we met back in World Cup 31 and World Cup 32. We've improved some, but they've improved a ton. We're looking to maintain our strong record, although that's history to most of the squad.

Amda-Mo: It certainly was many cups ago now, but I'm sure neither side has forgotten. It will be an intense match to be sure for these World Cup 30 entrants. Now how about other groups?

Lur-Mn: The madness continues. Uiri stunned the Holy Empire, Recluse Island got Squornshelous and Bazalonia, Schiavonia, and Jeruselem all stumbled into disappointing draws. It seems as if our top six list is bad luck this time around as it continues to see the top teams get knocked off.

Amda-Mo: Indeed. So who gets put in curse position this week?

Lur-Mn: Well there are six teams with perfect records up to this point so we'll just throw those six on here and run with it.

6. Tynelia

While the Hippos haven't had any signature wins, nor any really dominat line scores there perfect 4-0 record has to be worth something. So here they are.

5. Cafundeu

Similiar to Tynelia the Monopolists don't have any great wins, but at least they've built up a decent goal differential, up to +10 at this point. And like Tynelia below them they'll get a chance at a good win this week, so we'll see.

4. Wentland

Most of the same complaints against Wentland still stand, but they added another solid road win, against the BoF champ none the less, so they deserve to continue to move up.

3. Errinundera

Very close call between them and Zwangzug, but I personally feel the Northern Bettia win has more cachet than the Quakmybush win and that Audioslavia and Vuam and Isma are worth more than the rest of what Errinundera has done. Still, even if they were inclined to care about the rankings, which I doubt, this is showdown week, so everything will be up for grabs.

2. Zwangzug

Jumping up to second thanks to the Empire's loss and an impressive performance against Vuam and Isma. They're definitely looking strong and will hope to keep that up moving forward.

1. Bettia

Assuming the back and Forth bAriddia - Bettia battle this would be their cup. And so far they're getting it done. And you can bet they'll be looking forward to the next match with everyone's favorite red-blue clash coming up against Turori.

Amda-Mo: You really like that bAriddia joke don't you?

Lur-Mn: Damned right I do.

Amda-Mo: How about bSel Appa?

Lur-Mn: That's not so good, but it's not really necessary as they're not a killer B in anyway. But here's looking forward to a fun game ending with Az-cz on top.

Taeshans zeke scores 2 goals as the purple knights beat the lovisan sguad for there second win in qualifying

(OOC: this post may contain some swearing)

"YOU FUCKERS. YOU FUCKING FUCKERS. WE HAD THOSE FUCKING DALLAS CLAN-ASS KISSERS ON THE ROPES IN THEIR OWN FUCKING STADIUM! 1-0 WITH LESS THAN 10 MINUTES TO GO IN THE MATCH! I WOULD HAVE FINALLY HAD MY REVENGE ON THOSE DALLAS CLAN- ASSKISSERS FOR THROWING ME OF THE TEAM 20 YEARS AGO. BUT NO. YOU FUCKING IDIOTS HAD TO FUCK IT ALL UP! TWO FUCKING GOALS BY Shane Hooney IN THE LAST 8 MINUTES? WELL YOU ALL ARE GOING TO PAY. DOUBLE PRACTICES ALL WEEK! AND HACKER? YOU'RE ON THE BENCH THE NEXT GAME. Gambino YOU'RE STARTING. " Screamed Coach Fowler as he threw a bench into the wall, leaving behind quite a large hole.

"Shit man, ain't my fault they flopped in the final minutes, and now I'm going to be on the bench for the next game? Fuck him and his fucking Jeruselem obsession." Thomas Hacker said to one of the assistant coaches.

"I agree, but he's the coach, there's nothing I can do about it." Assistant Coach Rex hill replied. "But I'm gonna be damnned if I have to put up with this shit for the next 3 months or so, I know someone in the QCS (Qazox Sports Council), I'm gonna get to the bottom of this unhealthy obsession with Jeruselem for you all.

"I hope to hell that Coach learns to calm down some, I think he's about to have a heart attack" Ty Reed said to no one in particular.

"I hope the fuck that he does, at least my hearing would come back." someone replied.

GOALS:
Qazox:
Yancy Fry (4): 67'
CARDS:
Yellow: Juan Torres: 76'; Thomas Hacker: 82'
Red: Thomas Hacker: 82'


NSWiki for Qualifers: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Qazox_at_World_Cup_37_Qualifing

Ex-player player and coach Dazza Dallas, injured player Scarlet Ferris and sidelined player Dinkie Dosha were sitting on the Jeruselem bench with the rest of the team management. Dazza was her bouncy self, Dinkie was depressed and Scarlet was not happy as she couldn't play. For most of the game, Dazza was looking at images of scooters that Scarlet owned while Dinkie slept because she had trouble keeping awake with the occasional sudden noise waking her up.

Qazox started an all-out blitz in a attempt to take advantage of team missing striker Dinkie Dosha and the talented "Scooter" Ferris. The Jeruselem defense fought off attack after attack when Adam Tuff knocked over one of Pheonix players by accident to hand Qazox a penalty kick in the 67th minute. Barbie Doll was unable to make a save from a standard successful penalty. It looked the Pheonix would slay the Crusaders today.

Things got worse in the 2nd half when Hikfie Dallas got smacked in the head by a Qazox shot on goal but she recovered with no brain damage since she was already brain damaged in the first place. This seemed to fire up the Princess who didn't like what happened to her dopey relative.

Cyborg Dazza Deux make a break past the Pheonix who stacked players against Kate Dallas to stop her getting to the ball. Shane Hooney free of any attendants to get to heading in a screamer to equalise on the 83th minute. Both teams attacked and attacked but both defended resolutely until Fix Foster, an Qazoxian by birth, fouled a fellow Qazoxian. It looked bad until Barbie Doll tipped over the penalty kick to save the Crusaders - then they made a quick play to send Dazza Deux screaming down the middle of the field.

She emulated her name-sake on the bench dodging past desperate defenders, to earn Jeruselem a corner. Kate Dallas pumped in high kick with Jeruselem striker Shane Hooney flicking in a header between the feet of the keeper. The locals erupted in delight as Jeruselem took the lead. Afterwards, Kate Dallas almost scored again with a piledriver bouncing off the wrong side of the crossbar. As the whistle blew, the girls on Jeruselem bench were dancing except Scooter Ferris as she was on crunches.

Kate Bush and the team had prevailed. The Pheonix were cut down again and sent back into it's pit of fire. Some troublemakers threw bottles at the Princess but stopped when men with large guns pointed the guns in their faces.

Later armed policed investigated a loud disturbance in the Qazox dressing room, but it was only the Jeruselem born Qazox coach being a nuisance.

OOC - Throwing things at Kate Dallas in Jeruselem might get you shot

PRUXTON PRESS

Prawns get thrown onto the Barbie

BBQ BBQ'd the Prawns a nice golden toasted brown 3-1, as Prux could not do anything offensively until the final minutes of the game.

The Three Reasons why?

Backline: Our backline has not played well for the last two matches, and that has allowed some cheap goals to get by Red Herring, who has played better than what the scoreboards show. For instance, the 3 goals today: In the 30th minute, Tex Mex misplayed a rebound and that allowed the first goal to go in, as Herring was boned. The second goal in the 40th minute, once again another rebound not cleared out, this time by John Jacob Jinglehimer-Schmidt, who also didn't clear out what would become the 3rd goal in the 58th minute.

Bench: We don't have any depth to our bench. Our Subs are big and filling, but after a few minutes, they kinda leave you wanting more.

Quality: Since our team is young and mostly inxperienced, we haven't yet had a quailty 90 minute performance, but this should improve as the qualifers go on. Also stands for our opponents, as they are of a good quality, unlike our subs.

Prux' Scoring this match:
Pi R. Squared: 92'

Prux' Overall scoring:
007: 4
Pi R. Squared: 2
The Sphinx: 1
Pies R. Round: 1

Rex Hill shut and locked the locker room door, after Coach Fowler left after a harsh day of practice.

"I have found out something about the coach, but if it leaves this locker room, One, I'll swear on a stack of bibles that it is not true, and two, if I find out who blabbed this to the press, I'll see to it that you won't ever be able to play soccer in Qazox or almost anywhere ever again." Hill said looking nervous as hell.

"Well Coach, hurry up, some of us got families to go home to tonight" John Freel replied.

"I'm not gonna apple-polish it here, Jason Fowler is a Felon." Hill said.

Almost at once a cry of "WHAT?" went through the locker room.

"It's true. According to the Freedom of Information Act of Qazox, Jason Fowler is a convicted Felon. He was charged in Jeruselem with Aggrevated Stalking and Illegal Videotaping of Females." Hill replied.

"That's why he hates Jeruselem so much? and if the coach's a felon, how can he have become the head Coach?" someone asked.

"Two reasons, He doesn't hate the country of Jeruselem, he just hates the National team, seeing as they were the ones who filed those charges on him, and for the second, Qazoxian law only prohibits Qazoxian felons from employment, not ones from other countries." Hill answered sitting down on a chair.

"Why were those charges filed on him?" Ty Reed asked, after a moment of the team grumbling about how stupid some of the Qazoxian laws were.

"He was supposedly caught video taping, Kate Dallas, or as she's now currently called "Princess Katherine Alexandra Dallas" of Ariddia." Hill said.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT" Ty Revee swore. "Our coach was stalking the Queen of Ariddia? and videotaping her too? What a fucking idiot."

Coach Hill shook his head. "I said he was accused of supposedly doing those things, but he left the country just soon after the charges were filed, costing him a spot on the team, and they convicted him in absentia. The only reason why they didn't arrest him when we played there the other day, is the diplomatic immunity bestowed on international competitiors and coaches. But if he showed up as a fan or something, he'd be sitting in a jail cell right now. Ok, ladies and gentlemen, once again, if a single word of this leaves the room, well, the shit will hit the fan. See you tommorrow."

Can We 2-2 it?

Today Solenial got a draw in the World Cup. Despite this being an achievement their is still a large amount of dissapointment in the Nation,

Can we do it?!

With Van Frigh missing todays game because of a Bruised Toe, hopefully they can go about winning again soon

Match Facts

Solenial
Goals: 2
Shots: 2
Shots on Target: 2
Fouls: 0
Yellow Cards: 0
Red Cards: 0
Possesion: 60%

OOC It's actually, Princess Katherine Alexandra Dallas of Jeruselem - and the Queen of Jeruselem is a different person (not related directly or a Dallas). Nothing to with Ariddia!

Kate Dallas was being lazy around a swimming pool in a bikini at the palace when the Queen of Jeruselem turned up.

Queen: There you are Kate. I have to tell you something.
Kate: I'm a dirty slut like my Mum?
Queen: Nothing to with that, or your Mum. OK, it's about the Qazox coach.
Kate: Jason Fowler, yeah?

Queen: He's been stalking you before you become Princess. More than stalking, dirty videos. He almost made the Jeruselem World Cup team but when police found out about his activities ... well, he's a convicted sex offender you can say.
Kate: Oh!
Queen: Concerned?
Kate: Well ... err ...
Queen: Go on Kate.

Kate:
Well, you know me and my Mum don't wear a lot. So I'm always wandering around naked or half-naked as you know. You know when I was being me in the backyard or somewhere, there was this car or a car following me around. It always disappeared when I tried to find out who it was. You know tinted windows and stuff. I always though it was the security service or the police or some kind of government spy, so I wasn't bothered. Later I asked the security people about why they were following me around, and they say it wasn't them - they followed my Mum around but not me. Now I realise it was Jason Fowler ... ouch!

Queen: Oh, why is that.
Kate: He was always nice to me and giving me stuff. Not suspicious because Dallas girls always get nice stuff from fans. I have lots of fans give me stuff and Jason Fowler was one of them.
Queen: And anymore?
Kate: Well, he liked staring at my boobies ... but then all the men did. Actually, once he stuck his hand down my dress ...

Queen: There you go then Kate.
Kate: Well, he's not going near me now. Why didn't we arrest him as soon as he entered Jeruselem.
Queen: Err, we didn't want to upset the Qazox World Cup team.
Kate: So there's videos of me being totally indecent all over the Internet now. Well, that's fine - I am the daughter of Dazza Dallas. That's not the problem, I thought Jason Fowler was my friend! (breaks down)

Queen: Kate! Kate! It's OK. When you become the Queen of Jeruselem, you have the power to execute him.
Kate: I will! I will have my day!
Queen: We didn't tell your Mother this either, otherwise he'd be dead by now.
Kate: I feel betrayed, he say he was my friend (sobbing)

Queen: Look you have two families, us and your Dallas clan. I'm sure you have more friends than he has.
Kate: Yes, you are right - I'm lucky.

Amda-Mo: The team continued their fine play by once again beating Sel Appa, 2-1.

Lur-Mn: It was a close game and the Turtles showed they'll be tough, especially when we visit them the next time, but we were the better team on the day.

Amda-Mo: Let's start with the two goals. Seoula found the equalizer after Sel Appa's 17th minute goal and Kn-Dg found the winner at the hour mark. Thoughts?

Lur-Mn: Those two continue to carry the offense. It's no suprise that Kn-Dg has taken the captain's arm band to heart. As the first offensive player to wear it I'm sure he feels responsible to make sure our offense is churning. And we shouldn't be suprised that the player who forced us to change back to starting a striker is scoring as well.

Amda-Mo: How about allowing Sel Appa an early goal?

Lur-Mn: Nothing to be too concerned about. They're a good squad. A team like that sometimes comes up with plays you can't really stop. That's what happened on their goal. Just hats off to them for a fine play. The important thing to remember about that though is that we came back to earn the full three points.

Amda-Mo: How does that set us up going into our game against Vephrall?

Lur-Mn: We're looking good. We've got a three point lead on everyone, and importantly we have a four point lead on Estresse Intenso and a six point lead on Sel Appa, who's hit a rough spot.

Amda-Mo: Take us through that Vephrall matchup.

Lur-Mn: It's hard to get a good read on Vephrall. They drew with Vanek Drury Brieres on the bottom and lost to the teams currently in seventh and fifth on the table. However they drew against Sel Appa away and beat Kansiov, who's currently in second. So they've got some talent to be sure. And we'll be visiting them. But our offense has scored at least two goals every game so far and our defense has been fairly strong so I don't see any reason to expect them to hang with us. Not to say that they can't just we're playing pretty well and they're not on form right now.

Amda-Mo: Other thoughts from around the group?

Lur-Mn: Just that we're positioned well. With Sel Appa and Estresse Intenso yet to play each other if we stay on form and win these last two games before the break we'll be well placed.

Amda-Mo: Now, not as important, but how do you see the friendly with Ariddia, coming up after the Vephrall match.

Lur-Mn: It will be a great test for us. They've eliminated us in the quarters both of the last two cups. Expect both teams to play a ratcheted down squad but it should still be a great experience for us. The youngsters will get to see the difference between a good team like Sel Appa and a great team in Ariddia. I think it'll be close but could be anyone's game.

Amda-Mo: And now let's look at the rest of the world.

Lur-Mn: The top seeds mostly took care of business, with the big exception of Bettia, who was pounded 4-2 by the Eels. It seems as if our poll has caused bad luck again. And then there's the big suprise squad of Uiri who have moved to the top of the group of death ahead of Rejistania, Alasdair I Frosticus and Ariddia. Don't expect that hold, but even for a little while it's got to feel good for them.

Amda-Mo: Well with Bettia falling out who gets the top spot this week?

Lur-Mn: Well here are the unlucky six who had been playing well but will face a challenge this next week:

6. Az-cz

That win over Sel Appa was a big win for us. We've now moved to the level of almost all the top teams. With the way our group is breaking down we should be in pretty good shape to extend our lead. After the struggles we had last qualifiers it would be nice to get a big lead going at the break.

5. Schiavonia

Proved that they've still got the ability to live at the top. Could've been switched for us, but the win over Qutar was probably the swing win. They beat the second and third place teams in their group while we we drew the third place, but we don't have any head scratchers on the level of Oickoidia. So it really was the bump from having beat a formerly strong team like Qutar that sees them here.

4. Elves Security Forces

The Elves are going strong. Very close grouping between the 4, 3 and 2 teams on this chart but they slip to the bottom a bit for having the least impressive three seed in their group in Sativaville. They don't have any wins as good as Turori has and they have that disappointing result against Cookesland, but basically they're doing fine and should be pleased with their direction.

3. Turori

The Eels make a big jump up by taking down last times top team. And not just beating them but thrashing them putting four goals in. That earns a team a lot of respect. With Geisenfried visiting next they'll have another chance to strengthen their reputation.

2. Errinundera

While I'm sure the Portroos were hoping to beat the Monks, a draw there is perfectly respectable. Quakmybush is fighting back to improve the value of that win. Their offense has been very good and will help them win a lot of matches.

1. Zwangzug

The last undefeated team. Wins over Bazalonia and Northern Bettia. A wonderful +10 goal differential from a fairly tough group. There is a lot to like about the play of Zwangzug so far. I doubt many would've expected them to come out so strongly but no one can question their place at the top of the pile right now.

Amda-Mo: Unfortunately for them if the bad luck holds up it means they'll have to slip up against Kristovenia.

Lur-Mn: Yeah, I don't see that happening. I think they'll break that trend easily enough.

Amda-Mo: Well join us next time to see if the Gnomes can stay hot and stay on the top 6 list.

News items from Le Monde, daily newspaper to the Deddiquois (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Deddick).

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HEY, HEY, IT’S THE MONKS
MONASTIC MANIA HITS ERRINUNDERA

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The city of Deddick is reeling after young, mostly female fans, went totally ape with the arrival of the Monks, the potent football team from the Archregimancy. In scenes, the likes of which have never been witnessed before in Errinundera, huge crowds of young women, attended by hordes of photographers, journalists and the occasional Orthodox Christian pilgrim, lay siege upon the Deddique Estate Royale where the Monks were staying. The Archregimancy support team and officials from the Errinundera Football Association were unable to hold back the enthusiastic fans who stormed the building.

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Convenor of the EFA, ettyfriedanb, concedes that things could have been worse. “The poor blokes barricaded themselves in the gymnasium using weightlifting equipment,” she told a packed news conference after the match. “Luckily there was a dumbwaiter to the kitchen and direct access to showers and change rooms but sleeping on exercise mats would have been uncomfortable although I suspect these monastic types have endured worse.” With hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of fans surrounding the estate, all screaming their lungs out, it would be little wonder if the monks failed to get any sleep.

One of the young fans managed to get into the dumbwaiter only to receive a lengthy dressing down from the monks. She re-appeared with a beatific look on her face and was reported later as saying that it was the most life changing experience of her life. “They showed me things I never imagined were possible.”

To get to the ground safely on match day it was necessary to disguise the players as women. ettyfriedanb told the press conference that this proved to be a ticklish undertaking. “Shaving their beards was a traumatic experience for the unfortunate monks. We impressed upon them how dire the situation was. They were in mortal peril.”

The Convenor expressed her regret with events. “It was a shame it all came to this. We had such wonderful plans to make them feel welcome. All over the city we had draped huge banners in the Monks’ ecclesiastic colours; and billboards had been erected displaying each of the team members in dramatic on-field action. My favourite shows Father Igor the Contemplative waving his finger in the air in celebration after scoring a goal – well, we may have photoshopped that one a little but it’s pretty dramatic.”

The crowd at the match was as tempestuous as the welcome at the estate. For the first time ever in Errinundera barriers had to be erected to keep the fans away from the players. “The old ways were better,” octogenarian trashoo told our reporter. “We were famous worldwide for our regard towards visiting teams. Torching stadiums was what we used to do. None of this mobbing of players. It just isn’t right.”

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FATHER DAVID EQUALISES WITH PENALTY

Hero of the match was Deddick’s own Father David who, in the 88th minute equalised with a penalty kick after aryayre bumped Father Severian the Strict somewhat too vigorously. That the Monks should employ their keeper to take a penalty shot surprised the crowd who, nevertheless, soon celebrated the success of the city’s favourite son.

The defences of both teams had games they would rather forget, with both forward lines easily on top. All eight midfielders played well wide of their opponents so, although they all did good work, their effectiveness was diluted by the achievements of their opposite numbers. Best player for the Potoroos was the Ripper who, on return from suspension, played vigorously but fairly all day.

After the match, the visiting team was ushered from the stadium via a secret tunnel and smuggled clandestinely out of the country for their own safety.

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Errinundera 3
(scerberu 16, avilmou 37, otemki 68)
(leighm medal votes: ipieomenicu 3, agloir 2, avilmou 1)

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The Archregimancy 3
(Father Innocent of Ariddia 33, Father Severian the Strict 64, Father David of the Woods 88)


Errinundera's WC37 scorers:
scerberu 8
avilmou 3
breretond 3
immelfar 1
otemki 1
sanoo 1

leighm medal tally:
scerberu 7
agloir 7
aptai 3
henyua 3
ipieomenicu 3
avilmou 2
catsuku 2
haimaidu 2
eboshiadu 1

TEAM SELECTION FOR THE GAME AGAINST DANCE2REVOLUTION

Forwards: scerberu, avilmou, immelfar, oovaroo (sub)
Midfielders: agloir (dvc), henyua, ipieomenicu, catsuku, aptai (sub)
Backs: haimaidu (vc), aryayre, eboshiadu, froesu (sub)
Keepers: onito (c), readnough (sub)

In: immelfar, aptai, onito
Out: breretond (ankle), iribu (rested), oyavereig (rested)

Venue: Somewhere in Dance2Revolution.

Cathair City, her streets usually bustling with loud-mouthed market traders, louder builders and 'area renovators' (the guys who scavaged workable remnants of former Audioslavia and tacked them on to existing buildings for extortionate prices) and not-quite-so-shouty dealers of unscrupulous substances (the evil you'd expect from a shadowy dealer, heroin, crack, marmite etc), lay eerily silent this wednesday afternoon. The ridiculously cheap costs incurred with the construction of electronic equiptment, using the tonnes and tonnes of scrap plastic and wire that sat for the taking around the nation, had put a television or radio in almost every house or building in the city, and most, if not all, were tuned to Cookesland vs Audioslavia, game five of the World Cup 37 Qualifiers.

Audioslavia's historic 2-1 victory over Bushes Been Quaked, whilst not exactly signalling a revolution in the football world, had at least captured the hearts and minds of the nation. The eleven proud amateurs who so gallantly contained the number 52 ranked nation in the world were treated as royalty as soon as they left the field, with goalscorer Alessander Marriot given a hero's welcome. That every single one of the players had to report for work the following monday was reported widely in the press, yet the seeds of propaganda - ridiculous bleatings about how amateur football was 'the way' - were largely ignored. The media were right on one point though; this was football at its purest.

In the three months past, those men required to represent their country were given leave, with pay, by their employers for certain hours of the day, to train, for weekends, to play for their teams, and for an entire week, monday to friday, for when the national team made their travels abroad. This Wednesday was one of those occasions, and on thousands of crackly radios and snowy televisions, images of the proud men in claret shirts ullulated through the airwaves through sound and sight.

Their opponents, Cookesland, were in the throes of presenting their arguments for exactly why they should be in the world's top fifty nations, if not the top thirty-two. Their goalie, Damian Vasquese, had largely nothing to do for the first half as waves upon waves of royal blue were sent crashing repeatedly into an Audioslavian defence that, on appearance, were getting by on adrenaline alone. The heart-stopping moments were coming thick and fast. First, Matt Despon and DeMon Gahret combined thread a pass through for Barry Maxwell to chip a shot round Evander Feateigh with expert flick of his right foot, only to see the ball ricochet off the post and cleared by the claret before, from the resulting throw-in, a hooked ball was converted by a towering header from the unfortunately named Colin Short only for the linesman, for the second time in as many matches, save the 'slavians by raising his flag for offside, when video evidence pointed to the contrary. Again, just before half-time, Audioslavia's net was breached with Maxwell getting goal-side of the defence and volleying a high ball past Feateigh, only for the linesman, correctly this time, to rule another offside. Miraculously, Audioslavia went into half-time still at 0-0.

The second half started much the same was as the first did, with Cookesland gradually pinning Audioslavia back into their own half but again, with all their waves of attacks, could not find a way past a stubborn defence who now, with the away fans behind their goal, started to believe that, somehow, there was a possibility they could take something from this game.

On sixty-three minutes, Cookesland's Stacey Reina miscontrolled a high cross-field pass and let the ball bobble to Kasper Jansen. The winger, buoyed by a sudden shockwave of Audioslavian chanting ('Go on son! Go! GO!') did exactly that at went, at speed, hurtling down the right hand side. Evading a sliding challenge from full back Tyler Nobis, he cut inside and once, twice, three times tried to dummy centre-half Nick Salrisa, who expertly stood his man and stabbed out a foot to rob the winger of the ball. A back-tracking Nobis attempted to win it, but found himself lacking pace as Audioslavia's own full back Padraig Iascaire, reached it first and sent a whipping, curling ball accross the box. Denou stretched to reach it but failed to clear with his header, as the ball fell to Allessander Gastaclai, Audioslavia's winger on the opposite side, who was sprinting into the box. Controlling the ball on his chest at pace, he moved himself into position to shoot and, with a deft swing of his right foot, flicked the ball over the advancing goalkeeper and watched it drop, mesmerisingly, into the opposite corner of the goal.

Audioslavia were 1-0 up away from home, with twenty-five minutes of dogged defending to do. Jeremy Jaffacake looked accross his bench for the two centre halves, Craite and Bomanta, that had so proudly helped 'slavia protect the lead at home to Bushes Been Quaked in the last game, and threw them on for Marriot and Jansen, knowing that if they played to their big, nasty potential, the team could procure yet another win to shock the footballing world.

FINAL SCORE
Cookesland 0
Audioslavia 1 (Gastaclai 65)

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SINCLAIR THE TWO-GOAL HERO IN FIRST WIN FOR KELSSEK

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Kelssek finally took its first win from World Cup 37 qualifying with a victory against Billopesha, led to the win by two brilliant goals from Ian Sinclair.

Sinclair, the team's only overseas-based player, showed just how much he benefited from playing for Cafundéu's storied A.F.F. football club with a display of sheer class and deadly finishing.

Although expected to win against a team largely composed of unknown players, Kelssek nevertheless played decidely below-par, perhaps having lost some confidence after three tough games against stronger opposition from which only one point was squeezed out.

However, the efforts of stars like Vincent Arsenault were enough to overcome the Billopeshians on their own home turf.

Kelssek have two more winnable games, the next against Miamoria in Neorvins before an away match to Rastafariburg, before hosting footballing giants Jeruselem at Kirkenes's Skydome, where the arrival of some of the football world's stars is greatly anticipated among the football-mad denizens of the highly multicultural city where, it is said, more Kirkenians have grown up with football than with hockey.

Here's how desperate Kura-Pelland are. Defensive midfielder Giorgio Pezzoni scored both goals in the last twenty minutes against The Non-RPing n00b.

With 72 minutes on the clock, fans were streaming out, jeering the team mercilessly. That sound was still in the air as a deflected long shot from Pezzoni arced into the net. There were scarcely any cheers.

The reaction was a tad better ten minutes later, when Pezzoni rose above everyone in the anonymous defence to loop a header into the top right corner.

'This is how bad we are - we relied on a defensive midfielder who plays in another country,' lamented one fan.

'I just don't think we care anymore,' declared another.

What the Papers (and other stuff) Say

The Candelariasian press are united in bemusement after their national team slumped to a dire 1-0 home defeat to a spectacularly nothingy Miamoria side.

The Albrecht Herald, Albrecht Mercury and Albrecht Daily News were among the papers to lead with Pity The Fu, after C&M centre-back Benji Fu made an amusingly hopeless hash of a clearance, allowing quick-thinking Miamorian Paul Fawsters to nip round the Albrecht FC man and tuck home past the misplaced Reuben Uwakwe in goal.

Others simply lead with Disaster! and Millerman Horror Show, and suggest that the Big Blues’ ambitious hopes of qualifying have been dealt a mortal blow at this early stage. Columnists in the Bove National Reporter strike a rare note of optimism, pointing to slip-ups by all three larger countries in the group at the likes of Kelssek and Rastafariburg; but they can convince few colleagues, with an increasingly unhinged El Periodico del Arrigo calling for major changes to avoid embarrassment against Jeruselem. Elsewhere in the National Reporter, meanwhile, blame is laid at the feet of the “influx of foreigners polluting our game”, with the paper featuring a front-page exclusive that the Finance Ministry plans to provide CMSC bosses with a major hand-out to spend come the summer on foreign acquisitions, in the hope of selling television rights for league games abroad. This is, apparently, a Bad Thing.

Other regional papers offer a more sober analysis, the Clotaire Trumpet and Khatib Candelariasian both claiming that the result proves only that expectations for the team in only their second qualification campaign have been ludicrously high, and that a dominating, if ultimately fruitless, performance against Miamoria need not result in hysteria and panic changes to the C&M starting XI.

The Herald similarly suggests that it was a disappointing rather than awful performance, and one that will provide a wake-up call to the distinctly flaccid trio of O’Sullivan Caras, Jos Cornelisse and Yasser Zaghloul. Chief sports writer Tracker Edwards echoes the views of the greater portion of his colleagues in insisting that the under-fire players must be given another chance to impress, against Jeruselem; especially with Speed Wang limping out of the previous game with a worrying reoccurrence of his groin injury.

Still, the flat mood in the country has been sparked up slightly by the forthcoming arrival of the Jeruselem national team to Albrecht. As a country that did away with its colonial monarchy several decades ago, long enough to forget what the ghastly business was really all about, many C&M papers have spent the last couple of days cooing over the arrival of Crown Princess Katherine to the islands; the gloriously conservative Horse, Hound and Crowns weekly summing up the mood of many with the overuse of terms such as “regal”, “resplendent”, “looking every inch the” and “higher forms of life”.

The Mercury expresses sentiments in a vaguely similar line, featuring Lauren, 18, from Bevan nr Clotaire; whose News In Briefs comments implore her countryfolk to “welcome our uninhibited friends from across the seas with open arms and so forth”.

The imminent arrival has provoked other, more mixed, reactions. A snotty tirade from Candelariasian columnist Gillian Guazzelli accuses the high-profile antics of Jeruselem’s Dallas dynasty of “setting the cause of feminism back decades”, while the Daily News’ Mac Allister Martinovic describes the “decrepit Dazzarina Dallas” as “the pre-eminent example in Western civilization of what is inevitable when women procure too much freedom, and lack the moral fortitude or guidance to know what to do with it. Our politically-correct elite may wish us to stay silent, but for the sake of our daughters and daughter’s daughters, we must speak up against the creeping liberal decay of our country.”

Indeed, the events surrounding the game with Jeruselem are rapidly becoming highly politicised, after Albrecht City Council declined to permission for no less than two proposed marches in the capital, on the advice of the Metropolitan Police. Robert Baron, chairman of the Christian rights group Seething! which campaigns against the depiction of sexual indecency and immorality in the media; claimed the decision was a “gross refutation of our right to public protest” and evidence “of the advancing hatred of Christianity in civil life”. Shamima Darya, organiser of the Candelarias Muslim Forum’s planned demonstration against Jeruselem on political issues, told Radio One that local police chief Tony Villaverde’s objections that the two group’s simultaneous marches “represented a policing nightmare”, were “preposterous”. Simeon Jones, the Social Affairs spokesman for the Social Democratic & Green Party has been among others to express their disappointment in the Council’s decisions.

The online edition of the Herald also reports that the City Council have obtained a court order prohibiting one Michael Andrews, 27, a Central Branding Planner from the city known to have shown “obsessive behaviour” towards the personage of the Princess Kate; from entering the Downtown Albrecht neighbourhoods of Bramlive (location of the Meissner Hotel where the visiting team will be staying) and Songstress (location of the Millerman Sheppard Stadium), or any of the direct bus routes between the districts over the next week. Twelve other men and one woman from outside of the capital are also believed to have been presented with “behaviour contracts” preventing them from travelling to Old Albrecht for the duration of the Jeruselem team’s stay.

From the Rushmore Sports Daily’s Brian Kennedy Column

______________

The Albrecht Herald Online/Sport/Breaking News
Baker confirms changes

C&M coach Mark Baker has confirmed his team for the crunch tie with Jeruselem that sees Yasser Zaghloul dropped and the injured Speed Wang also out, with the previously out-of-favour Mamdooh Momtaz and nineteen year-old José Felipe Cassumba Domingos get his first start against the former World Cup runners-up.

GK Reuben Uwakwe
DR Damien Sono
DC Peter Waddington (c)
DC Benji Fu
DL Doug Szczechowicz

MR O’Sullivan Caras
MC José Felipe Cassumba Domingos
DM Ben Head
AM Mamdooh Momtaz
ML Jos Cornelisse

F Steven Fritz

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sorthern_northland.png Sorthern Northland1-1Konora http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/konora.png

Sorthern Northland again failed to pick up three points in Beningrad as the relatively unknown Konora held the Sortherners to a draw. The Konoran's however won't be too disappointed with the result as they aim to "play in spectacular fashion and gain converts" and their entertaining football today will certainly have gained them some converts.

The Konoran midfielder, Ryan Loiinstan was one of the most exciting players on the pitch, however he seems the sort of player who can go from the sublime to the ridiculous in seconds as he thrilled the crowd almost as much as he got ridicule from the crowd.

The first half was goalless but by no means boring. Both teams had several opportunities to open the scoring. Both teams missed them all. The first fell to Xeng Xung of Sorthern Northland whose header skimmed off the Korona bar, Karina Ross and Sella Novaro then both missed chances for Korona in quick succession. President Ben O'Bagels also had a free kick scooped off the line by Korona keeper Aria Cartwright in what has to be one of the saves of the tournament so far.

Ben O'Bagels was involved in the first half's major talking point minutes later when he was brought down in the box by a brutal tackle from Koronan defender James Dawson. The defender was controversially only booked at first, and unhappy at the decision Sorthern Northland midfielder Relondinho confronted Dawson and appeared to knee him in the crotch, Dawson retaliated and head butted Relondinho with both players earning themselves a red card. O'Bagels also left the field with a triple leg fracture in his right leg putting him out for the rest of the qualifying campaign giving crowd favourite Feng Shui the opportunity to impress. It is also rumoured that he has instructed Sorthern Norhland's secret service to "hunt Dawson down". Once the ref and his assistants along with numerous policemen had managed to calm the players down, Neuville Senna, brimming with confidence with two goals in his previous two matches stepped up to take the penalty. With tensions at boiling point the striker powered his penalty to the top right hand corner but goalkeeper Cartwright somehow got a hand to the shot and pushed it round the post for a corner. The Koronan keeper than ran up to Senna celebrating wildly in front of him. TV replays clearly show that Senna then smashed his forearm into the keepers face, bringing loud cheers from the SN faithful and the small band of Korona fans baying for a red card, the referee somehow missed the incident however and simply carried on as normal. The half ended soon after with both managers clearly upset by the refereeing and obviously disagreeing with each other Hugh and Lositan themselves nearly came to blows and had to be separated by police.

There was clearly no love lost between the two sides as they came out for the second half. For security reasons the two teams came out separately. The villain of the first half (from an SN point of view) Aria Cartwright was bombarded with a wide array of missiles as she took up her place in goal and the Sorthern fans were certainly original with their chanting against the keeper. The players themselves were clearly up for it as well with a number of strong tackles flying in particularly from Xeng Xung and Scott Tonnlinson. However with just twenty players on the pitch plenty of space was open and both teams used this to their advantage with Rieesa, Novaro, Ross and Anderson coming close to scoring. At the other end Kim, Senna and Feng were all centimetres away from scoring.

A strong challenge from Xeng Xung in the sixty-second minute earned himself a yellow card and gave Korona a free kick about 30 metres out from goal. Both Rieesa and Novaro stood over the ball ready to take it. The Sorthern defence expecting one of them to shoot lined up in a wall, but Novaro tapped the ball to the right where Edgar Willonson was waiting. Willonson then unleashed an unstoppable drive past Palmer and into the roof of the SN go to put Korona into a 1-0 lead.

The Green and Whites then seemed to relax and Jing Mao, Xeng Xung, Kim Min-Kim and Ivar Wrightson all saw their shots narrowly miss the target. The Sortherners did however get the goal with 10 minutes remaining following a mazy run down the left from Feng Shui, his low cross was then missed by defenders and attackers alike apart from Feng Shui and Aria Cartwright who both went for the loose ball. With neither player prepared to give the other an inch Senna slid in just tapping the ball past Cartwright and clattering into the keeper in the process knocking her unconscious, the keeper was taken away on a stretcher with an oxygen mask but doctors say she will be ok and should recover soon.

this was the last point of interest in what had been a hotly contested match and the return leg in Korona promises to have added spice now.
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Konora goalkeeper Aria Cartwright is carried off on a stretcher after being knocked unconscious in a collision with Sorthern Northland's Neuville Senna

Peter Jeffers was talking on his phone to Hikfie Dallas

[Peter] Alright chuck, I saw the game! You got ‘it pretty ‘ard by that ball didn’t ya love… gotta admit, I was kinda worried.

[Hikfie] Ohhh that’s sweet! But why were you worried about the ball?

[Peter] No, no, I was worried about you.

[Hikfie] Awwwwwwww!

Peter goes silent for a moment

[Hikfie] Peter? Hello? Is the phone dead?

The sound of a number being dialled is heard

[Peter] I’m still ‘ere, don’t redial. I jus’ saw summin weird…Kelly jus’ ran past wearin’ clothes. And there goes Addy chasin’ after ‘er. Sommin’s up…

The Crimson Blade
Assegai Defense Remains Strong

Although it took the Assegai Developments offense some time to finally begin generating goals, if not for lightning-quick goalkeeping by Akihiko Yoshida and a strong defense, the Riskbreakers might not find themselves atop Group 9 of World Cup qualifying.

“You really have to credit the work that Yoshida and the defense have done in front of our net,” stated team manager Blackout after Assegai’s 2-1 victory over Wehrmacher. “They have kept us from sinking in the table, and now, with our offense finally generating some goals, it’s an effective combination—superlative goalkeeping, defending and an opportunistic offense.”

Whether Assegai can maintain this level of play throughout the duration of qualifying remains to be seen, and is far too early to gauge how the team will end up in their group table. Nonetheless, the team seems comfortable with the direction of the coaching staff and the players seem to get along well with Blackout.

Wehrmacher began the game as the more offensive team, taking Assegai’s defense to task, and, within the first two minutes, Yoshida was tested with a pair of blistering shots Wehrmacher’s single striker. However, Assegai came roaring back on the counter-attack, and placed the pressure on Wehrmacher’s backline.

Assegai forward Viktor Krum suffered a harsh foul from a Wehrmacher defender and the Riskbreakers were awarded a free kick just outside the box. Captain Ashley Riot lined up for the shot, but, instead of taking a direct shot at the net, curled a looping pass that found defender A.J. Durai, who headed the shot past the outstretched arms of the keeper, giving Assegai the lead in only the seventh minute and igniting a huge celebration in the stands of Cathedral Park.

Although Assegai maintained this same pressure throughout the game, it took only a moment of confusion in the midfield for Wehrmacher to generate a dangerous opportunity. The defense collapsed and the Wehrmacher striker beat Yoshida on a breakaway, drawing things even just 10 minutes after the start of the second half.

However, Assegai recovered its composure and continued to apply more pressure on Wehrmacher’s defense. Then, in the 62nd minute, forward Samantha Neesa was dragged down to the dirt and kicked, earning her team a penalty kick and a red card for the aggressive tackler. Neesa was bleeding profusely from a cut right above her forehead, but was conscious. Nevertheless, she was subbed out and needed 12 stitches to close the wound.

Forward Severus Snape entered the game in place of Neesa and was received with a huge, standing ovation. Riot then lined up for the PK and calmly slotted a shot, hard and to the right away from the keeper, who bit the other way. The stands were roaring again.

Although Assegai kept attacking, Wehrmacher packed everyone into the last quarter of the field and kept the Riskbreakers at bay. For Assegai, it was a hard-fought victory against a relatively “weaker” opponent. However, as Blackout stated later on, “We can’t take anyone lightly. These games are decided on the field, not in a computer program.”

With an injury like hers, it’s very likely that Neesa might miss a couple of matches before returning to the field.

-----
[35] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.png Assegai Developments 2

[152] http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/wehrmacher.png Wehrmacher 0

[AD] A.J. Durai (7’), Ashley Riot (62’ PK)
[WRM] ??? ???? (55’)
[YC] None [RC] WRM-??? ???? (62’)
Venue: Cathedral Park (Attendance: 75,000) | Leá Monde, Assegai Developments

Mikaela Eyre Reporting

Elves Security Forces
Quite Late

Playing in the pouring rain out on the island of Capri, the Marauders were looking to use their home pitch to leapfrog their visitors of Wentland into the top spot in Group 2. Despite the poor conditions, it was full house in the Hatire Memorial that came out to support the Marauders, with the Navy Wave providing some rather good entertainment with songs about Wentland that I'm not allowed to repeat. All the build up to the game culminated in a large round of applause as the squad took to the pitch and the match went underway.

As per their style, Wentland went into a defensive 5-4-1 formation, and looked to be ready to try and keep the elves out of their end of the field for the entire ninety, and maybe get a counter or two for their scoring oppurtunities. The conditions really slowed the navy clad lads, as they were unable to use their speed and footwork in the muddy pitch, and resulted in Wentland holding their own quite well in the opening, and even began to expirement with going forward. Yet it would be the conditions that would cause the first goal, as a pass back from Wori Metria to Jacob went skidding across the wet grass and into the back of the net in thirty-second minute, leaving a sickening feeling in the pit of the supporters and Wori's stomache. The squad would get nothing that resembled a quality chance in the half, and went into the locker room looking quite displeased.

Taking into account of the conditions and how poor the squad was doing, Constant made two changes in personel and a change of formation at the half to turn around the Marauders fortunes. Bringing out Jaques, who was nearly invisable in the first half, and bringing in Ali Alidare for his first CAP, and the first by anyone who was not an Elunist or Taoist, as well as bringing out Cristi Kries and putting in Xanxz. The two brought in more size and a physical style of game, with Xanxz moving to the middle of the park, and Cuellar coming back to play on the wing vacated by the substitutions. With three midfielder over 6'3" in the center, and who all play more like the Turruth Gordurians, Constant showed that he was more than ready to grind out a victory using whatever means neccassary.

The second half really became all Marauders, as Wentland had their goal, and were packed into a 5-2-3-0, trying desperately to keep the towers in the midfield from finding the overskilled strikers up top. A few near misses, with Hawk and Xanxz both hitting the post in the sixty-fourth minute, and it seemed as though Wentland would once again be blanking their oppenents with their overwhelming and scrambling defence. Yet, it would be Alidare who would change the course of the match when he played a lob from the center spot that cleared the whole of the Wentland squad, and out of nowhere, Kiso Night literaly flew in a diving header before the keeper could collect the ball at the edge of the box, careening off the woodwork, and into the netting, with a thunderous applause coming, which some in the city Proper would of thaught to be of natural causes given the weather. Oh, but the squad was not willing to settle with a split of the points, and it would be one of the three "enforcers" in the middle who would win it. Jere Jannian had lined up a free kick from thrity-five yards out and from the right side. When the ref finished talking to Alidare to quit the shoving, Jere sent in a lob that Laborious Hawk rose on the near post and gave a power header that went directly into the back of the net before the keeper even had a chance to react. It was a header with meaning, as replays show Hawk struggling to get into position and then jumped and headed it with authority to seal the three points out of nowhere, and give the Marauders the lead for the first time in the match, and in the table.

With two matches before the halfway point comes, the Marauders must be wary as they go into their fixtures with Bushes Been Quaked and Prux. Despite their talent, BBQ is playing above expectactions and can be dangerous, espically on set pieces. But a solid game plan and exucution should be enough to dispatch them, though it will likely be closer than the casual fan would think it ought to be. Prux is likely to be more of a test, but they have had the roller coaster effect in the qualifiers after a superb start in winning the Baptism of Fire. It's hard to get a bead on them, but they seem to be an up and coming squad, and the Navy and Black should not take them lightly. If six points are obtained, it should be rather smooth sailing in the second half, though Audioslavia is looking more dangerous than their opening match effort where they were thrashed around by us in a five to nil result. All in all, things are going smoothly, and there should be no reason not to be. Fans are also reminded that Az-cz and Bettia will be traveling to the Hatire Memorial during the three weeks between the halves of qualifying, and there are still tickets availble for those who wish to see these world class sides in the comfort of the country.

Elves Security Forces 2
Kiso Night (73)
Laborious Hawk (89)

Wentland 1
Wori Metria (32) OG

Scorers
Kiso Night 6
Laborious Hawk 3
Ikles Razov 2
Rick Cuellar 1
Jere Jannian 1

Schedule
MD1: ESF v Audioslavia 5-0
MD2: Sativaville v ESF 0-1
MD3: ESF v Cookesland 2-2
MD4: The Crescent Republic v ESF 1-3
MD5: ESF v Wentland 2-1
MD6: Bushes Been Quaked v ESF
MD7: ESF v Prux
MQF: ESF v Az-cz
MQF: ESF v Bettia
MD8: Audioslavia v ESF
MD9: ESF v Sativaville
MD10: Cookesland v ESF
MD11: ESF v The Crescent Republic
MD12: Wentland v ESF
MD13: ESF v Bushes Been Quaked
MD14: Prux v ESF
PQF: ESF v Jeruselem

Article by Luna Santapa

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 1-1 Holy Empire http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/alasdair_i_frosticus.png

Veterans’ draw

The first “clash of the Ancients” in group 11 took place in Stade National Rêvane-Sud, Ariddia, in front of a large crowd of supporters from both nations. The two countries’ flags floated all around the stadium, and even a little light rain in the pleasantly warm air could not dampen a general spirit of enthusiasm and excitement.

There was thunderous applause when the teams entered the stadium, much of it directed at the guests – and notably the Frostican n°7, Juan Tzimisces. The Imperial team stood in line with their arms linked round one another’s shoulders as they faced the ulek, the Ariddians’ attempt to awe and intimidate the mighty Tzimisces and his team mates.

“…Silew wa oleh! Sah wa weheshisi! Sah wa weheshisi!” Iol Et and his fellow Rouge-et-Noirs finished chanting fiercely, inviting their guests to “flee and die!” or “stand and be destroyed!”. Spectators applauded loudly once more. Despite the aggressive chant, the ritual served to welcome the Frosticans onto the Ariddian field, and to honour them as worthy opponents. The match –between the two most ancient nations in the World Cup– could begin.

The encounter was characterised by both fair play and ‘aggressive’ playing, in the positive sense. The two teams were very much focused on attack, resulting in two well-aimed shots on goal on either side within the first quarter of an hour.

In the thirty-third minute Heather Rodriguez passed to Hwang Kumchol, who headed the ball into the net. There were shouts of celebration, but the goal was (correctly) disallowed for a narrow offside. Hwang nodded, accepting the referee’s verdict.

The first goal came from the Ariddian captain Iol Et in the thirty-eighth minute, to renewed cheers.

In the dying seconds of the first half, Jamilah Shahrour received the ball from Hwang and spun it towards the top right-hand corner of the net in a superb shot, but Imperial goalkeeper Andrew Dalassano was somehow there, saving it. Shahrour applauded her opponent with a smile, and the players left the field for half-time.

Much of the second half consisted in close calls for the Rouge-et-Noirs, as defenders narrowly fended off Tzimisces and his team mates. A corner kick shot by Andronicus Comneno resulted in Asul E’i and Isaac Angelo colliding mid-air as they attempted to receive the ball; Basil Synadenuso had positioned himself well to catch it, but goalkeeper Tu Wesh tackled it off him before he could arm his shot, then flung himself down on the ball to secure it.

The guest team equalised in the seventy-eighth minute, when Tzimisces scored a powerful shot, the ball hurtling into the top of the net. Wesh was able to touch it with his fingertips, but was too off-balance to deflect it.

The eighty-seventh minute brought with it a final chance for the Ariddians, with a tricky free kick. Guirreh played it, but sent the ball a few centimetres wide from the net.

The final result was a draw. Players from the two teams shook hands, Et and Tzimisces swapping shirts. Then the Rouge-et-Noirs invited the entire Imperial team and staff to a Rêvane restaurant and evening out on the bustling Avenue Weyle’e, the heart of the capital’s nightlife. Meanwhile, ordinary Ariddians were reportedly showing similar hospitality to visiting Frostican fans.

“One all is not a bad result,” Ariddian coach Jane Sanderson said, although of course many supporters had been hoping the defending champs would win. “It seems fitting, with our two great teams meeting again after so long.”

Analysts have again praised Ariddia’s forward trio (Et, Guirreh and Shahrour), who had scored one goal each during Ariddia’s 3-0 win over Ambrose-Douglas. And the Rouge-et-Noirs’ defence, commentors noted, coped well on the whole when faced with Tzimisces’ formidable skill.

Ariddia is now second in group 11, with the Holoy Empire third, and Uiri having achieved a surprising one point lead.


Trevor Langhorn found

Reported as missing by visiting Bazalonian scholars, Dr. Trevor Langhorn has been found after police contacted several Indigenous communities. Dr. Langhorn was working on an archeological dig near the centre of Ocea (Ariddia's largest island), deep within the thick semi-tropical forests. The excavation site was empty, and looked as if it had been "disturbed", the two Bazalonian visitors reported.

The nearest town, Sishelewe, has a population of just 890, and is generally considered very remote. Even more remote are the several Wymgani communities living in the vicinity, within the forest itself. Their lifestyle has changed little over the centuries, although most communities now have at least one wireless radio, and generally one or two mobile phones used to request emergency medical aid, for example.

Dr. Langhorn told Sishelewe's two policewomen and one policeman that he had sought refuge with the Indigenous Esua people after arriving on the excavation site early one morning and finding "a group of at least five suspicious people roaming about". The intruders were clearly not Wymgani, he said, and at least three of them had knives. Rather than confront them, he and his Ariddian assistant (phd archeology student Aesi Le, a Wymgani herself) went to the Esua.

"We still don't know what they wanted," Langhorn said. "They took a few of our findings, but not this rock statuette - an archeological treasure, given how rare Wymgani stone sculpture was in pre-colonial times. We think it dates back to the seventh century."

The Sishelewe police have promised an investigation. The site has been cordoned off, and additional police ressources are due to be sent in from the larger (and more distant) town of Rocdeau.

The sight of a Casaran shantytown in the campgrounds of a foriegn nation might be a good or a bad thing, depending on exactly who you are. But it was enough to make a Casaran happy, and Casarans wouldn't give a damn about anyone else.

The trek to wherever the stadium is is a bit harder from a campground- usually parades of rental cars, rental buses, city buses, or any other form of
transportation that can be hired, acquired through legal or less than legal means, as well as a decent number of hitchhikers. Most pride themselves on arriving as soon as the gates open, hours before the game.

The typical Casaran Terrace isn't an overly dangerous place. As long as you're wearing the right colors (The real fans still wear the WC25-vintage Cat Hat) and aren't a blatantly obvious poser, no one makes a fuss.

The chanting always starts about an hour before the game. The challenge, of course, is to not get drowned out by the home fans- always a difficult propisition, depending on the number of home fans that bother to show up. When all else fails, however, the typical fallback chant is, if the home teams hasn't won a world cup, the fact that the visiting team had, and if the home team had as well, the fact that the visiting team and their fans are merely that much better looking than the home team.

It was true, after all.

Singing before the match wasn't the only important thing- sneaking in food and alcohol to avoid supporting the away team is another. There's a number of products made to fit under the clothing that can carry varying amounts of liquid, but some of the more innovative ideas are generally more respectable, such as the hollowed-out boot or the fake stomach that can be hidden under the large-size team kit.

There were many different kinds of crowd noise- the shapeless yelling of joy of a goal, threats of mayhem, the more formal chanting caused by a string of good play... and then those that don't seem to fit any description whatsoever.

---

"What the hell are they chanting?" Silvia whispered to Mike during the other team's national anthem.

"I have no idea." Mike whispered back.

"It sounds like... Something about someone's mom?"

"Is nothing sacred?"

"Apparently not, but I didn't think relations with the opposing fans moms was looked well upon."

Pan leaned over and laughed. "Everyone loves a winner. Even the losers' moms."

"No wonder all the former players go crazy." Mike mumbled. "It's the fans."

"No, they always had Vivica Hill around to do crazy shit like almost run them over with a tank." Pan added. Silvia scowled, turned, and kicked Pan in the shin.

"I will end you. Ass." She said, the chorus of ooohs coming from the away end.

Pan scowled, standing on one leg. "Damnit, you can kick hard."

"You're lucky I couldn't kick you in the manparts, otherwise you'd be hurting." She said, waving to the fans, who were already haphazardly trying to fit the

act into one of their commonly used songs.

Pan and Mike looked at each other. "She's getting more insane by the day."

"Maybe it is genetic." Mike said, walking out onto the field.