World Cup 36 RP thread [Archive] - Page 3

Errinundera

06-08-2007, 13:34

Meanwhile in Rooty Break (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rooty_Break)

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/InternationalHeraldTribuneMasthead.jpg
Your local newspaper with an expansive view

FROSTY HOLLOW FREAKERY #1
COLD SNAP WORST IN 120 YEARS

Barely six months after perhaps its worst ever bushfire season, the Errinundera Plateau has, over the past two weeks, been subject to some of its worst weather for 120 years. This has culminated in 2 days of extreme frosts the likes of which haven’t been experienced since that infamous year in 2007. For two nights running temperatures at Frosty Hollow fell to as low as -10º C. Fans at the qualifying match against Bostopia shivered as the maximum did not go above –4º C all day. They should be grateful. Yesterday it didn’t rise above –6º C.

Stand in deputy senior forecaster at the Bureau of Meteorology explained to us that after two weeks of blizzards, caused by a succession of low pressure troughs, a slow moving high pressure system has dominated weather patterns this last two days. “The centre of the high has parked itself right above Frosty Hollow. This means no wind and no clouds. Heat is rapidly lost to space causing overnight temperatures to plummet rapidly. Any creature caught out there without a warm burrow or hollow to crawl into could be in big trouble."

Emergency services have been kept busy throughout the Plateau as cobbled together tree heating systems either failed or set the trees alight. Local volunteer, grahamj, from the Rooty Break Emergency Collective agreed that keeping a house tree warm in these conditions could be problematic for some. “You think you have every hole blocked and then the tree moves slightly and they all open up again. New ones keep appearing. It’s great in summer but a real drag in this sort of weather.”

FROSTY HOLLOW FREAKERY #2
FROZEN LEECHES BUST HEADS

Three people are confirmed dead and scores injured, some seriously, when frozen two-headed giant leeches began to fall out of the trees surrounding Frosty Hollow onto unsuspecting football fans at the final World Cup 36 qualifying match.

Professor of Zoological Engineering at the University of First Creek Falls, rankenstoo, explained to us that the leech’s penchant for the cold appears to have been their downfall. “It didn’t really surprise anyone that so many of them ended up at Frosty Hollow. It’s the coldest place in Errinundera this side of the summit of Mount Ellery. They were waiting in the trees to drop onto the football fans but the cold snap has, well, snap frozen them. I hate to imagine what would have happened if not for their refrigeration. With over 350 of these killers let loose among 60,000 people in a confined space I imagine the death toll might have been in the hundreds.”

People got their first hint that something was amiss when a faint breeze stirred the trees just before the half time whistle. A compact black object about the weight and size of a house brick was dislodged from a tree and landed in one of the aisles, cracking the concrete. Pretty soon the black bricks were raining down steadily. Bostopia fan, Samuel McBride, explained that it was extremely trying for the fans. “We didn’t know what they were, where they were coming from, or which way to go to avoid them. We couldn’t get to the covered sections of the stand so thousands of people piled onto the pitch. Of course, this stopped play for a while but, hey, I got breretond’s autograph. Shikes! He’s big.”

Play was held up until EFA volunteers were satisfied that the last leeches had fallen and, those that had, had been disposed of safely. The three dead people have been identified as laocoon, a senior weather forecaster from the Bureau of Meteorology, and his two young sons isobark and millibark, who were struck by a large clump that had fused together. Doctors have confirmed that the majority of other injuries are fractures and lacerations. Professor rankentoo has admitted that only 353 of the original 512 leeches have been accounted for.

FROSTY HOLLOW FREAKERY #3
BOSTOPIANS GALLANT IN DEFEAT

Notwithstanding a break in play caused by descending frozen giant two-headed leeches, today’s World Cup 36 qualifying match against Bostopia was a cracker. In a game of two halves the Potoroos made more of their opportunities to come out 2-1 victors, ensuring them of a place in the Cup proper. Gallant losers, Bostopia, must go to the repechage rounds but are heavily favoured to win through to the Cup.

Local star and substitute midfielder for the Potoroos, tevow, told us after the match that the visitors were unlucky not to come away with a draw. “We dominated the first half – the kid* and the destroyer** were sensational. But something happened after the leeches fell. We seemed to go into a shell and the Bostopians took control of the game. Our defence managed to keep them out until Aleks Cripps scored in the second half. From then on we were holding on for dear life. Normally we get quite a lift from the Frosty fans but many had gone home and those that were left spent most of their time watching to see if any more leeches were going to fall out of the trees. Thank goodness for onito. She saved our smoked tofu several times. I tell you what: Bostopia are pretty good for a bunch of 17 year olds.”

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 2
(breretond 23, scerberu 32)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Bostopia.png
Bostopia 1
(Cripps 67)

Errinundera's WC36 scorers:
8 snaporoo
7 avilmou
7 immelfar
7 breretond
5 scerberu
3 otemki
2 froesu
1 agloir
1 ipieomenicu
1 onito
1 oovaroo

* breretond
** scerberu

Candelaria And Marquez

06-08-2007, 14:13

The Albrecht Herald
Festival of football ends C&M World Cup on high
By Tracker Edwards

After several months of promising performances in the Big Blues’ first World Cup qualification campaign, marred only by an at times excessively cautious approach; Coach Mark Baker somehow pulled a three-three draw out of his arse.

No less entertaining than the last time that happened, the Baptism of Fire quarter-final clash with the Han, Baker’s men strode into the James Connolly Stadium with a mission to prove the offensive capabilities of the 4-5-1. It was their newfound gung-ho approach that almost cost them within the first five minutes, the energetic Sorthern youngsters desperate to make up for their 4-0 demolition at C&M’s hands weeks ago at the MSS.

Benji Fu was caught napping after just two minutes, when a seemingly wasteful long-ball from Mark Tugay bounced awkwardly for Damien Sono and trickled through to the wandering Kang Kan-Kang. Fu made a desperate last-ditch tackle to get to his man, but Kang was still able to get off a shot that grazed Reuben Uwakwe’s left-post.

With the Beningrad faithful baying for a third successive win, the Sortherners continued playing like thirteen men – the twelfth being for their teenage legs that ran circles around the comparative old-timers on the C&M side for much of the first ten minutes. After Relondinho and Tugay again had also carved out openings – the latter skipping around Luis Enrique Torrealba to unleash a strike narrowly over the bar; C&M’s wingers started to find their feet. Joey Pipes would be a thorn in Graeme Shorey’s side all afternoon, producing a series of crosses earlier on of a quality far beyond the 20-year-old’s usual standard. As in the reverse fixture, Steven Fritz was also proving a danger man, fizzing a header into George Palmer’s arms on thirteen.

With the game still goalless, the occasion’s only sour note came when Kieron Tomlinson – who had been stretchered off again Sorthern Northland after fifteen minutes last time around – lasted only two minutes longer. This time it was knee ligament damage, induced when the 28-year-old left-back slipped on a bag of jelly babies thrown from the crowd. With paper aeroplanes careering down on the stricken Tomlinson, the referee appeared to consider stopping the game. Morals aside, it was to everyone’s benefit that he didn’t.

With the more offensive Adrian Mazzeo again on for Tomlinson, C&M found an extra yard and were ahead within moments. Mazzeo played a cross-field ball to O’Sullivan Caras, who put in a fine cross of his own to Fritz’ increasingly useful-looking head. The diminutive striker duly notched up his sixth of the campaign to silence the crows. Caras himself should have taken his side 2-0 up shortly afterwards, when a flick-on by Fritz left him one-on-one with Palmer, but the right-winger appeared to loose his bottle, shooting weakly at the ‘keeper. He would later claim that he had mistaken the sound of two of his jangly crucifixes clanging together for an offside whistle.

After going ahead, C&M put partial pay to their defensive image by rushing forward yet again. But in front of their home crowd, Sorthern Northland are a different proposition, and began to take charge, the hugely impressive Relondinho and Diago Moran forcing a series of saves from Uwakwe. As it was, the Sortherners took till the thirtieth minute to find a goal to reward their increasingly superiority; albeit from a needless Speed Wang own goal, who headed into his own net from a Sorthern corner.

And to the delight of the home fans, Kang reversed things entirely two minutes later, capitalising on an uncharacteristic mix-up between Torrealba and Peter Waddington to crash the ball under Uwakwe.

The Sortherners unwisely starting the second half sitting well back and the greater experience of their opposition soon told, Caras jinked his way into a great position for a low centre across the six-yard box which the otherwise quiet Mamdooh Momtaz turned home. Moments later, Fritz had a shot cleared off the line and Palmer was forced to excel himself in a series of corners.

After weathering an extended C&M onslaught, Tugay caught the Big Blues on the break. A cross-field ball to Ben O’Bagles left the seventeen-year-old with much to do, but he somehow found space to cross again for Relondinho to almost get a well-deserved goal. For his part, O’Bagles is clearly the weakest player on Sorthern Northland’s starting team, but not by much. His involvement may be political in part – the boy’s the country’s dictator, for heaven’s sake! – but he is none the less a player of international quality.

After a period of play that made the cliché “end-to-end-stuff” the only term appropriate, C&M appeared to clinch a most welcome victory when Fritz was tripped by Shorey in the box. The striker stepped up, but still feeling the effects of the knock he allowed Palmer to make a comfortably push round his post. Fritz’ blushes were saved after the resulting corner, when Waddington found himself in the right place to shin the ball home.

Failing to learn from previous wins and rest on their laurels, C&M were caught out on another foray forward. Kang found himself the last man and was hauled over by Mazzeo who must consider himself incredibly lucky to only receive a yellow. As it was, he would still cost his team victory when Maran rolled the resulting free-kick to substitute Neuville Senna, whose thunderbolt of a shot was diverted in the opposite direction by Kang with Uwakwe helplessly wrong-footed to make anything more than a soft punch which only helped take the shot more cleanly into the net. Baker and his players may curse the dropping of a potentially vital couple of points come the World Cup 37 seedings, but on this occasion few could begrudge a draw.

A fourth-place finish in the group, albeit with the lowest number of points of any of the twelve teams in that position, should be considered a job well done for C&M. All that remains is to give our best wishes to Az-cz, Qazox and Zwangzug; and ready ourselves in hope of a heroic quarter-final exit in the Cup of Harmony, assuming our country, now best known internationally for our needlessly long-winded match reports, can wangle an invite.

Sorthern Northland 3
Wang og 30, Kang 32, 87

Candelaria And Marquez 3
Fritz 18, Momtaz 49, Waddington 80

Tynelia

06-08-2007, 14:59

Team Irrelevant Poised For Big Things?

After a desperate final two matchdays which produced a 3-0 win over Ad’ihan and most importantly the 2-1 win over Assegai Developments, Tynelia managed to jump from a precarious third to an auto-qualifying second place in the group. This ensures the team does not face a risky playoff like last Cup to qualify. However, the team finds itself as the team with the fewest points of any team who directly qualified, earning the team the ‘Team Irrelevent’ title. This title had come about in years past to describe the final player picked in any of the professional sports drafts. Usually this player isn’t expected to do very much with the team that drafted him and for the most part they don’t. About what most expect for Tynelia.

On the other hand this is a big opportunity for the team as well. Being the last qualifier with the worst point total, everyone will no doubt expect things to be easy for them when they face the Hippos. This means that Tynelia will have absolutely nothing to lose in any of their matches which means they will be able to play loosely as there will be absolutely no pressure on them at all. Given their situation, the team has already been in a do or die situation the last two matches and so may be peaking while earlier qualifiers tend to sit their regulars towards the end to get them rested, but perhaps rusty as a side effect when the next stage begins.

At the moment the draw has not been revealed so Tynelia is still unaware of who they may face. This will take place after the playoff matches to see who the final six teams will be to join the 24 already in. If past history is any indication of who Tynelia may find themselves to be playing, AIF is the team most expect Tynelia to be drawn against as they are the top team to date in the qualifiers. A underachieving top five should also be in the mix as well which would probably be Arridia. No doubt the Bettia factor will be involved in some way as it has been one entire qualifier now since Tynelia has faced them in our group.

No doubt everything will be made clear soon enough as Tynelia’s struggle to leave the group stages may face its toughest challenge yet.

<meanwhile on page 45- the Entertainment section>

Cultists Claim Credit for Qualification

A nameless person claiming to be a monk recently called our offices and claimed credit for Tynelia’s qualification on behalf of The New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy. This group claims that though prayer to their Lord of Scores, that Tynelia suddenly managed to score 8 goals in their final 4 matches after getting only 13 in their first 11. These cultist also claim that the Lord of Scores has guaranteed a Tynelian advancement to the knockouts because their ‘Lord’ has decreed that the team will score 6 goals and that shall enable them to advance as a sign of their faith. However the cultist also said that unless more people joined their so-called faith that their Lord would be angry and not grant his blessings to the team and they will not advance until we atone for on sins.

<and on page 61- funny foreign stuff>

Anathema Lifted. Orthodox Fire Back

In news that came as a surprise to many who were unaware of the matter. Tynelia’s brief flirtation with being an anathemized country came to a sudden end as the Archregimancy lifted their decree only days after leveling it on our unsuspecting country. One Bishop Theodore Ordreszi from the Tynelian Orthodox Church, which appears to be a legitimate religous group, managed to single handedly get the anathema lifted. He then made a brief statement to reporters.

“It is with great joy that the faith of the Tynelian Orthodox managed to earn its way back into the Orthodox fold with our brethren in the Archregimancy.” Ordreszi began with a smile before turning more serious. “However I would like to state at this time that these fools calling themselves The New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy are a bunch of ignorant heathens who make a mockery of our true faith. They can’t even spell ‘orthodoxy’ correctly yet they try to claim it for themselves? I speak for the Tynelian Orthodox Church when I say that we join with the Archregimancy in condemning these people for their taint they are trying to attach to our Holy path. They have nothing to do with orthodoxy and never will.”

Sorthern Northland

06-08-2007, 18:23

After an exciting 3 three all draw with Candelaria And Marquez in the fianl qualifying match of World Cup 36, President Ben O'Bagels sits down in the press room to face questions from the nations top paper, The Morning Star.

Reporter: Mr President, the tournament is now over for us but how would you evaluate the teams overall performance in it?

O'Bagels: Obviously we didn't qualify but that's to be expected in your first World Cup. Considering that fifth is a good finish and the lads have progressed a lot throughout the tournament. They showed that today by drawing three with C&M, who beat us 4-0 earlier in the tournament.

Reporter: What about the defence? We let in more goals than Kedalfax, who finished bottom.

O'Bagels: We are disappointed to have let in so many goals, but our defence our young and I'm sure they will be tighter at the back next time round. But letting in goals in part of the parcel of the attacking football we play, and you have to remember, that outside the top three we scored the most in our group.

Reporter: What do you make of C&M's reporter Tracker Edwards comments that your involvement in the squad is political and your a dictator?

O'Bagels: He's obviously unaware that I'm so popular that come election time there's no one to stand against me. Or at least those that do get such a small proportion of the vote that it's not worth mentioning. Me being in the squad has nothing to do with politics, the gaffer's one of the few people who do vote against me, I'm in it purely for football reasons.

Reporter: There were some calls for the managers head during the spell where we did poorly. What are your views on how the managers done?

O'Bagels: It's our first World Cup, we can't expect to qualify and those teams that we were heavily defeated by are all fantastic teams, had the results been against teams near or below our level those calls would have been justified but Az-cz, Qazox and Zwangzug are all far better teams than us and they showed that. Kevin's done a good job to get us where we are and all the players enjoy working with him, he's just a bit of an idiot outside of football thats all.

Reporter: Whats next for the football team?

O'Bagels: Well there's the Cup of Harmony, if we get invited to that then we'll defiantly be going to that. Hopefully their will be another Oxen Cup as well, which we find great preparation for the World Cup, far more useful than the Baptism of Fire was. We may also see about hosting our own small tournament.

Reporter: What did you make of this years Baptism of Fire?

O'Bagels: Crap.

Reporter: And finally Ben, how are your tips to win the World Cup?

O'Bagels: Well Bettia are the obvious ones, but I fancy Jeruselem to do well and I think if Zwangzug can get through the qualifier they'll do well.

Reporter: Thanks for your time, President.

O'Bagels: Thank ye.

New Manhattan

06-08-2007, 20:00

Numerous camera operators, national FA representatives, and legendary sporting figures from several nations that had been paid to attend—including Alejandro Bolúfero, current manager of Capitalizt SLANI—filled SLANI’s press room in their headquarters building, located in the city of Prontera. Normally the sounds of heavy industry from Prontera’s many large factories would be heard in the background, but the workers’ attention was now focused on television displays. After 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) had its hopes of automatic qualification for the World Cup shattered when Wentland narrowly defeated the strangely-attired Archregimancy side, the billions of football fans in the Unified Capitalizt States were now hoping for their team to get an easy opponent in the playoffs, so that their first World Cup, after six unsuccessful attempts, could be played in their own nation.

Capitalizt SLANI chairman Rikarda Reneda stepped up to the podium in order to do the honors. “Welcome to the draw for the qualification playoffs for the thirty-sixth football World Cup. As the national associations have been informed in their invitations, twelve teams will play in the playoffs—Assegai Developments, Bostopia, eff-em-jay-phœnix, the HURD, Jasīʼyūn, Lovisa, Northern Bettia, Rejistania, Sativaville, Spruitland, Yafor Two, and Zwangzug. The teams will be drawn into pairs. Each pair of teams will play two matches, one at the chosen home venue of each team. The team that scores the higher number of goals will be allowed to enter the World Cup. Should the teams score the same number of goals, then goals scored at the venue of their opponents will be counted double. If a team is still not chosen, then two fifteen-minute periods of extra time will be played at the conclusion of the second match, and the team scoring the higher number of goals in extra time will qualify, after which the away goals rule will be applied again if necessary, and kicks from the penalty mark will be used if the match is still tied. Due to the away goals rule, the higher-ranked team in each playoff will play the first match at their home venue.”

Reneda took a deep breath—surely everyone in the room knows all these rules? Sure, the average guy on the street watching the draw from home wouldn’t have a clue whether the away goals rule would be used if both teams scored a goal in extra time, but then again, is that kind of person really going to watch a playoff game between a bunch of stoned dudes and a bunch of robots?

Some sort of Capitalizt SLANI official walked through the door near the podium, dressed in black, having a pistol at his side, and carrying a bowl with some objects in it. He set it on the podium, then left through the same door. “This bowl contains twelve balls—well, technically not balls, they appear to be truncated icosahedrons for some reason on which I am unable to speculate—each one representing one of the teams in the playoffs. The truncated icosahedra”—some of the representatives rolled their eyes at this term—“will be removed from the bowl in pairs to determine the playoff matches. The first pair is…um, Jasīʼyūn, I think, maybe, and…uh…I haven’t a clue what that’s supposed to be a picture of.” As should have been expected from an all-Capitalizt committee responsible for organizing the playoff draw, everything had been made to look nice, by painting the flag of each team on a football-shaped piece of plastic, but this only made it nearly-impossible to identify the team represented by each of the balls. Reneda had correctly recognized the green and gold emblem of 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) on its crimson background, but the greenish blob that came with it was a mystery to her. “Is anyone here good at recognizing flags?” She was answered by confused silence.

Ten minutes later, while the guests were being entertained by a spiritualist medium that happened to stop by, Reneda found a copy of Guide to Worldwide Football: from Ariddia to Zwangzug in her office that had been given to her as a gift last year. It just so happened that the table of contents of this book had the national flags next to the title of each section, which would allow her to determine what wacky nations she was drawing.

As she walked back into the press room, triumphantly carrying the book, the medium said loudly, “Can you give me a year for that, Sam? Thirteen-what? Say that again? That’s better, thank you. Ten ninety-three to thirteen thirty-seven! What does that mean?”

Reneda stared blankly at the man as he said this, and when he finished, said “What the slani hell was that?” or, as it would surely be broadcast in the Association of Free Nations of Rejistania, “What the bleeeep bleep was bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep?” Once he left, Reneda reclaimed the podium. “And now, we can continue with the draw…” She looked through the lengthy table of contents—the book gave detalied information on over two hundred nations—and finally identified the greenish blob as being the flag of Sativaville. “Jasīʼyūn will play against Sativaville.”

She pulled two more truncated icosahedra out of the bowl. One of them had a jagged brown dot on one side and an unrecognizable crest on the other, both on an orange field. She scanned Guide to Worldwide Football’s table of contents again, but was unable to a flag with such a dot. She did, however, identify their opponents. “Bostopia will play some place with a brown and orange flag?”

The Northern Bettian representative spoke up. “Um, I think you mean Northern Bettia.”

She looked again at the book, and realized at once that her failure to identify the flag was due to the near-spherical shape that the flag had been placed on. “Yes, that’s right, Bostopia will play Northern Bettia.”

Third time’s a charm, right? She pulled another pair of objects from the bowl. The first she recognized immediately from the Aeropag Tribune’s news coverage of Allanea’s invasion of Rejistania. The second required her to refer to the book again. “Rejistania will play The HURD.”

Once she had gotten used to this, the remaining teams were drawn much faster. “Eff-em-jay-phœnix will play Assegai Developments.”

“Zwangzug will play…um…one of the one thousand ninety-three nations that has a black, red, and yellow flag…oh, I think that’s Spruitland vs Zwangzug.”

“And, by process of elimination, Yafor Two will play Lovisa. This concludes the draw for the qualification playoffs for the thirty-sixth football World Cup. Thank you, and good luck to all of the teams involved. And special thanks to Columbia University Press, as without their book Guide to Worldwide Football: from Ariddia to Zwangzug, this draw may not have been possible.”

As the Zwangzug representative exited, he yelled at Reneda, “Tel them 2 includ Zychibastan in the nxt edishn!” Reneda looked around eeringly, without quite knowing what that meant.

After most of the media personnel had left, Alejandro Bolúfero walked up to Reneda. “Did you happen to get that medium guy’s name? The World Cup draw would be so much more fun if we could get him to come!”

She ignored the comment, and went to fire whichever person made those stupid truncated icosahedra. After having watched the draw, no one on the organizing committee would admit to it.

——————

OOC: The playoff fixtures are:

Jasīʼyūn (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12865683&postcount=26)) vs Sativaville (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12867081&postcount=33))
Nothern Bettia (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12870950&postcount=43)) vs Bostopia (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12862136&postcount=3))
Rejistania (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12898902&postcount=56)) vs The HURD (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12898942&postcount=57))
Fmjphoenix vs Assegai Developments (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12893674&postcount=53))
Zwangzug (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12862264&postcount=5)) vs Spruitland
Yafor 2 vs Lovisa

The team listed first will play the first leg at home.

Lovisa

06-08-2007, 22:26

Lovisa vs Yafor 2 in play off

We are very happy that we can play in playoffs. - says Henryk Kasperczak a Lovisan team coach. My boys playing good in groups stage and and finish in 3rd position in group 7. All first 7 teams wasvery strong. And every one can be in 3rd. We are very happy after last macht vs Acapais which we win at home two to nil.Of course Arridia and Turori was defenetely the best in our group, but 4th Acapais was strong too.

Now we will be playing with Yafor 2 in playoffs, well its much better team with us, but I think we have a chance to win.
Of course now we have success, because I re-build my team. First 2 edition after our long break in international arena was very poor, but now I see we have a progress. If we do not advance to the final, iwill be very happy for all results. And next WC 37 will be much better, and maybe we advance in final like for a old time, be come back to the top.

Sativaville

07-08-2007, 04:47

STV

Despite the cloud of match-fixing looming over the team and the SFA (Sativaville Football Association), the NSWCC has ruled that all of the matches in the investigation will stand. The reason is that the outcomes of the matches were not changed or influenced in anyway, but the final scores of said matches were, they have no choice but to allow the results to stand.
A spokesman from the NSWCC was qouted as saying
"There are irregularities in the final scores, but in no instance the outcomes were in doubt, so according to the by-laws, the NSWCC has no reason to place a penalty on the Sativaville team itself. However, an investigation into the SFA will occur after these playoffs, and if it is found out that the SFA had aforeknowledge of these instances, then Sativaville will have to forfeit it's spot in the World Cup, if it qualifies. Also despite the outcome, Sativaville will not be allowed to participate in the CoH.

So it's all or nothing against...Jasīʼyūn, the smaller part of one of the co-hosts. The first match of the 2-leg playoff will be at Otário, Tingitana (ooc: sorry couldn't finad an actual Jasīʼyūn site). While the 2nd-leg will be at Chong High Park in East Marleyville, the biggest stadium in Sativaville with a capacity of 69,420.

Qazox

07-08-2007, 05:13

New Qazian Press

40 YEARS OF QAZOXIAN FOOTBALL...WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

(Please note WC 32 Qualifers took place in 1911, Qazox time, WC 32 was in 1913)

After the heady jubilation of World Cup 31, Qazox crashed hard during WC 32 qualifers, which started with 2 back-to-back Bye dates, which seemed to stymie the team's momentum. Coupled with a surprising loss to Lisburn Mateys, and the 0-0-6 record vs. Arridia, Wentland and Schiavonia, the team finished a disappointing 5th place in the group.

The big story of this campaign came though during the Cup of Harmony, when Head Coach Reggie Hassok suffered a heart attack the night before the quarterfinals against Demot. The team looked from within for a new coach, Fernando Turek, who was also Hassok's assistant Coach during WC 32 qualifers.

So for simplicity's sake we'll just post the Newer players here (in Blue)

ROSTER:
NAME (age)

GOALKEEPERS
Alice Springs, (33)
Greg Wolfen (27)
Hernan Cortez (26)

DEFENDERS
Julie Winne (30)
Adolf Limburger (26)
Ryan Holmes (25)
Eric Redsen (24)
Juan Won One (21)

SWEEPERS
Yossel Griffin (23)
Hiram Schultz (26)
David Star (27)

MIDFIELDERS
Fernando Turek (31)
Alexrandra Hotep (25)
Ty Rant (20)
Wendy Richie (19)

WINGERS
Kyle Horton (23)
Stefany Heisel (28) (also on Women's Team)
Sonja Clay (24) (also on Women's Team)
Regina Reginald (24)
Denise Vinson (26) (also on Women's Team)

So where are they now?
GOALKEEPERS
Alice Springs: Died in 1917 at age 37 due to complcations during childbirth.
Greg Wolfen: Playing/Coaching for Chivas Saxer in QFL, Age: 43
Hernan Cortez: Lives in Az-cz with wife and 3 children, Age: 42

DEFENDERS
Julie Winne: Head Coach, Qazox Athena (W-League) Age: 45
Ryan Holmes: Co-Owner of Holmes, Waston and Moriarity Law Firm in Gothika, Age: 41
Adolf Limburger: Died at age 42, the day before these qualifers due to home robbery attempt, when he was shot protecting his wife.
Eric Redsen: Playing for FC Fromburg in QFL, Age:40
Juan Won One: Playing for Qazox City in QFL, Age: 37

SWEEPERS
Yossel Griffin: Current 2am Anchor of SportsNight on QSPN, Age: 39
Hiram Schultz: Lawyer for Holmes, Waston and Moriarity Law Firm in Gothika, Age: 42
David Star: Lawyer for Holmes, Waston and Moriarity Law Firm in Gothika, Age: 43

MIDFIELDERS
Fernando Turek: HEAD COACH of National team (World Cups 33-present), Age: 46
Alexrandra Hotep: Current Assistant Head Coach of National team/Head Coach of River Vitas (W-League), Age: 41
Ty Rant: Assistant Coach/Player for SaxerVilla in QFL, Age: 36
Wendy Richie: Schoolteacher at Gothika High School in Gothika, Age: 35

WINGERS
Kyle Horton: Playing for Qazox City in QFL Age: 39
Stefany Heisel: Playing for SaxerVilla WC in W-League Age: 44
Sonja Clay: Living in Lorax City, Councilwoman, Age: 40
Regina Reginald: Playing for Iguana de Mia in QFL Age: 40
Denise Vinson: Deputy Mayor of Saint Nash, Age: 42

Next Issue: World Cup 33 squad.

New Manhattan

07-08-2007, 05:23

(OOC: they’d have to be insane to schedule the match in Otário, but at least I can get an RP out of that :p )

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc36.png
AEROPAG, JI · 0.10 g Au · 161–03–07
Come to the φ party at Aeropag Olympic Stadium on 161 CE 8th March 03:39 and 8.989 seconds!

Sports: 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) faces heavy criticism for stadium selection
소코지토 도시, 소코 (SOKOJITO DOSI, SK)—The crucial World Cup qualifying playoff between 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) and Sativaville has caused fans to voice their annoyance with the association, as it announced yesterday that the first leg of the match would be held at Stádie Síntaüilire’da in Otário, Tingitana. The reaction was best explained by ticket salesman Lloyd Morris, who said, “When people talk about going to a football game, they maybe want to catch a train to Sokojito Dosi, or take a little vacation to Jativa, or perhaps visit that fancy Olympic Stadium in Querzakhi; they don’t want to fly halfway across bloody Paripana to go. I guarantee that ticket prices are going to suffer greatly from this terrible decision.” As he predicted, the tickets, after selling out today, have shown up on major auction site iBay for prices as low as 5 g Au.

Krístofo Moráleso, owner of JPL Paladin Stadium in Port Lusambo, officially the “home stadium” of 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn), was also frustrated by the announcement. “We don’t have a single event scheduled for that entire week! We always have floods of people standing around the Randome watching TV screens; but for a match like this, they don’t even ask? It’s insanity, there’s no two ways about it!” Owners of other major stadiums, including the Sokojito Überdome, had similar comments.

Rumors have spread that the person responsible for the venue arrangements had his mail contaminated with marijuana by an operative hired by the Sativaville FA, but a 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) spokesperson fervently denied these allegations, and Sativaville authorities seemed uninterested in responding to any telephone or e-mail correspondence. As of this publication, the Sativaville FA has neither confirmed nor denied these rumors, as they are currently busy with an investigation into match fixing.

Wentland

07-08-2007, 10:15

A tight 2-1 win over the Archregimancy sent Wentland into the World Up Finals. A delighted Hacker gave interviews to the world's media and especially to the Wentland press.

Unfortunately the manager's words of wisdom did not make their way to the breakfast tables of Wentland. The press had recently discovered that unions had been declared unorthodox by Father Anastasias the Scab Guardian and so any stories mentioning the Archregimancy were blacklisted.

Jeruselem

07-08-2007, 12:06

Nikki Seabourne: I'm Nikki Seabourne, reporter for JGN. I'm with fellow reporter and Jeruselem World Cup coach Dazza Dallas! Yes, that's the woman in the Hello Kitty dress.

Dazza: Hello!
Nikki: You are announcing something today.
Dazza: This is my last World Cup as coach, I'm retiring from active football to expand my business.
Nikki: That's big news, so you're going be sitting in an office making phone calls?

Dazza: Well, more like running around between meetings. And getting people to do the impossible.
Nikki: Who's going run the business for you.
Dazza: My sister Debbie, you see I'm the decision maker. I make the hard decisions while she keeps the machine running.
Nikki: So, you do all the PR and marketing while Debbie keeps the fires burning.

Dazza: Yeah, I could run the business myself but I'd get bored and I like to travel. She hates PR and marketing and travel so I do it.
Nikki: What about your media duties for JGN?
Dazza: Well, that's now Kate Dallas. She's been taking over my duties slowly, and at the next cup - she's the new me.
Nikki: You're not going be involved in the next cup?

Dazza: Well, my sportswear company and media company work to help our team. I won't be coaching or playing, but doing the background logistics like in the past.
Nikki: So, you are still in football and part of scene.
Dazza: When I'm dead, I'll still support our team. I don't abandon the people who helped me.
Nikki: You have a competition to announce.

Dazza: Yes, Dazza and family is doing the big tour of Sel Appa. I'm inviting a family to be a tourist with me! A couple with a few kids. Few not ten kids.
Nikki: That's nice of you.
Dazza: Sel Appa looks like such a nice place, so why not share the experience.
Nikki: Go to the JGN web site, the details are there. Are going to be retiring from being Dazza?

Dazza: I still look good. When I'm ugly, that's when.
Nikki: Some people think you should stop now.
Dazza: You see, that's peoples problem. They want other people to be like them, that's why we have so much hate in this world. Be the person you are, not the person you shouldn't be! I cannot be a Friar John, since I was born in weird circumstances. Having regrets is a bad thing, it eats you up and you die miserable.
Nikki: So God made your destiny?

Dazza: That's it, Dazza Dallas was put here for a reason. I don't what it is - but I am here.
Nikki: Now, you're an over fourty - but you look early 30's. How do you do it? Most women your age lament how they used to look but you don't seem to age.
Dazza: Simple - take care of yourself. You have one body, and it's all you have. Keep in healthy, and you'll make deteriorate slower. No plastic surgery for Dazza.
Nikki: Yes, it seems to work. Keeping a tight body shape is not easy.

Dazza: You grow old, but body does not have to age at the same rate. Good Ariddian genes help too.
Nikki: Good talking to you.
Dazza: Good luck with the career Nikki.
Nikki: You know without you, I'd just be another woman sitting at home with kids. But I'm a professional TV reporter because you gave a chance to be seen on TV.

Dazza: I like to help. I inspired people Dinkie Dosha too, who is someone who would have been wasted if she didn't have some to tell her she can play football. There's a lot of bad advice for women out there. They get told - you can't do things because you're a woman.
Nikki: Yes, when I was young - people told me just to accept your role in the home, you had no place in the public eye. I cover sports and other weird things and have fun job.

Dazza:
My advice to people out there, if you want to make a difference then be different. Why am I so weird? Because I am, I didn't a choice how I was born and yes my upbringing was sinful and misguided. Am I truly evil? NO, people are jealous because a dumb looking short girl can become famous for being different. They see my house, my cars and all my money and think - how do you get all that? well, hard work and thinking creatively. Nothing in this world is free.

Zwangzug

07-08-2007, 15:34

"Spruitland?"

"I think they're known as the Rabbits. Not that that really makes much of a difference, seeing as we've never played them either way.'

"All right. Nevertheless, they have a relatively higher rank-"

"Lower-"

"Well, a higher number at least, so Zwangzug should be able to win."

"I think I've been spending too much time with you because that made sense."

"Sorry."

"So who scored in the last couple games?"

"For Zwangzug: Olson and Stings. For Collonie: Clyde Misterson. And for Az-cz: Jorge Shockey, Ip...Why are you asking all the questions? This is a regular interrogation.

"Erm, I'll just finish that up: Ip-Gp, Bn-Ct, and El-Iot."

"Now here's a question for you: how did we get airtime to begin with?"

"I'm not sure. Ask your friends in Zychibastan."

<muffled static>

The Gupta Dynasty

07-08-2007, 19:16

Offense Succumbs to Virus
Five backups to start against Lovisa

LOVISA - It doesn't seem like virus season, here in Lovisa, but somehow the entire Yaforite starting offense has got a virus. It is an odd time to get a virus, but the Yaforites have fallen prey and, for a few days, at least, the great part of the attack of the team (including their internationally known starters, like Prince Sebard) will miss the two games against Lovisa and perhaps more, if the Grand Democratic Duchy reaches the group stage of the World Cup - a fate that some are predicting for Yafor 2 and some are not.

While the team physicians have yet to reveal what sort of virus this may be, manager Gerod Flamer was sure to comment on how serious it was. "The virus spread quickly," he stated during a press conference close to one day ago, "we only contained it after it had managed to infect many of our players who train together." The offensive training sessions have been canceled for the two weeks and, while the defense continues training, the offense will most likely wait it out for the virus to end.

It is not clear exactly where the virus came from, either. Several stories have been bouncing around, including one about an unreported trip by Zyante Meleherat and Vashil Nahanor out of training camp, where they may have been exposed to several diseases. Manager Flamer, however has stated that the "story is not true" and that if any player had skipped training to go outside "would have been punished so severely that even the media would be cringing". Flamer, whose discipline and drive as a national team captain (especially when he lead Yafor 2 to victory in the Cup of Harmony) were legendary and he has repeatedly stated that he "expects the same, if not more" from his players.

Meanwhile, the burden of scoring goals falls upon less known and less experienced players. With Meleherat, Nahanor, Iktam Velastros, Hierna Klienta, and superstar center midfielder Prince Sebard out for at least two games, the burden is expected to fall most heavily on the backup players who are most experienced in the squad, especially Idurv Odakale and Damiel Fraten. With the backups mostly stars-to-come (like Tyrus Valderran and Maharta Kiranar), the talent is certainly there, but the experience is lacking enough that perhaps the attack will not be able to pick up the slack.

Much of their success will depend upon defensive midfielder Mosada Juhan, who is used to a more attacking position. Having achieved great success in the past (with Sebard's history of injury, Juhan distinguished himself many times over), Juhan will be expected to not only play in a more attacking position than most defensive midfielders are expected to, but also to hold the defense intact. This is the first year that the Yaforite squad is not playing the natural 5-3-2 (instead going with a defensive 4-1-3-1-1) and the transition will be none the easier with no attack.

Nonetheless, Flamer is still confident. "We certainly have the talent to mount a strong run. Now all that matters is how far we can go."

OOC: My roster is available here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12945292&postcount=67). Note that the players with the virus are named in this post, not in my roster.

Cafundeu

07-08-2007, 20:05

RP cutoff for Playoffs First Leg

Playoffs - First Leg Results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12945579&postcount=19)

Bostopia

07-08-2007, 22:43

The Daily Mail

By John Crickfeld.
Anyuna – Northern Bettia.

Yesterday’s playoff game for Bostopia – the first the nation has ever been in – ended in a 3 - 2 defeat to Northern Bettia. However, the two away goals mean that in the 103,499 seater Bostopia Stadium in the second leg of the tie mean that the game is far from won for the Northern Bettians.

Naru Sarota opened the scoring in the game in the 24th minute for the Northern Bettians; with a wonderful headed goal past Peter Jeffers who was helplessly stood frozen to the spot at the ball hit the back of the net in the top-right hand corner. The game progressed with a few Northern Bettians being booked, mainly for rash challenges, though Sarota was booked for unsportsmanlike conduct, after attempting to flirt with the referee one too many times to get calls made in her team’s favour.

Northern Bettia scored again in the 31st minute, with Kyobu scoring from a free kick into the bottom-corner of Jeffers’ net, following a foul committed by Landor on the edge of the area. The ball was adjudged to have struck his hand, but replays show it actually hit him in the chest. His persistent arguing of his case earnt him a booking though.

However, in the second half, most likely following an enlightening team-talk by Kelly Firth, Bostopia started well, scoring early in the 47th minute, thanks to a passing move by Cripps and Auderrie that found “Aleks” - as the Errinunderan tevow referred to him as – free in the box to chip the ball over the advancing Jon Ozeki, who looked disappointed to have fell for that manoeuvre, the Heart of Anyuna keeper expecting his experience to have served him better.

Following Firth making three substitutions in the 61st minute, an often-risky decision that risks losing a man via injury, this indeed happened, with Vale injured by a two-footed tackle by Morioka, who managed to not get sent off. Vale suffered heavy bruising to his thigh, and is nowhere near likely to play the whole of the second leg.

Bostopia, however, overcame the odds with their ten men in the 86th minute, with a Freddie Marsh corner finding the head of Ian Tanraer, the Monham United striker scoring his first goal in the tournament via a bicycle kick near the penalty spot, in one of the most spectacular goals in Bostopia’s qualifying schedule.

Celebrations were put on hold as the Northern Bettians immediately grabbed the ball out of the back of their own net, and charging up the field to take kickoff. Of course, they had to wait for the Bostopian side to take their positions, but once they had, it was as if someone had grabbed a slider to tell the Northern Bettians how to play, and set it to “All-Out-Attack.”

Unfortunately, the “Ultra-Defensive” mode finally broke down for Bostopia, with the Northern Bettians making the most of their one man advantage in the 92nd minute, with Dan Shinobu breaking Bostopian hearts with a fierce shot from the right-hand side of the penalty area, exactly where Vale would likely have been tackling him.

The Bostopian team trudged off the field a minute later clapping the supporters, thanking them for their support, and being hopeful that in the Bostopia Stadium, qualification for the 36th World Cup awaits them.

Game Ratings

Peter Jeffers

Francis Vale (Off Injured, 65th) - 7
Gerry Landor – (Off 61st, for McDowd) - 6
Karl Matthews - 8
Adam Craiff - 7

Michael Wake (Off 61st, for Orring) - 7
Stuart Flambriff - 8
Freddie Marsh - 7
Luke Barle - 7

Harry Auderrie (Off 61st, for Tanraer) - 6
Aleksander Cripps – 7

Brian McDowd – 6
Nick Orring – 7
Ian Tanraer – 9 – MOTM: His wonder goal plus all round tenacity and devotion showed through, despite his limited time on the field of play

Sativaville

08-08-2007, 04:40

STV

In one of the highest scoring matches in Sativaville history, The Potheads find themselves up against the wall in their attempt to qualify for the World Cup. At Otário, Tingitana, Jasīʼyūn managed to hold of the team 5-3.

The home side, though not playing in their usual haunt of JPL Paladin Stadium in Port Lusambo, jumped out to an early 3-0 lead on two goals by Ha Sūŋ-yun in the 14th and 23rd minutes and one by Oriala Nisauä in the 35th. But the Potheads managed to cut the lead down to 3-1 just before halftime on a goal by Lonnie Dejohn in the 44th.

Sativaville struck early in the 2nd half on a goal by Fernando Reif, in the 50th minute to cut the lead down to 3-2, but that was as close at the Potheads would get. Another goal by Oriala Nisauä in the 61st minute and a surprising goal by ʼAn Nam-hwa on a corner kick int he 68th minute gave the Home side a 5-2 lead. Only a goal by Clinton Lichtenberg in the 86th minute kept the match somewhat close.

So now both teams travel to Chong High Park. Sativaville needs to win by at least 2 goals, with out allowing more than 2. If they can manage to do that, then improbably, they will advance to the World Cup.

Northern Bettia

08-08-2007, 10:14

A late summer's morning had just begun in the city of Anyuna. It was the day after the first leg of the playoffs, and many brows were furrowed in the headquarters of the Football Association of Northern Bettia, none more so than that of the FANB's chairman Hugh Mazaki. He paced up and down as he had done for the best part of an hour, threatening to wear a hole in the luxury Downton carpet that adorned the floor of his top-storey executive office.

"This ain't good. This ain't good at all." he muttered under his breath.

"What isn't sir?" his assistant asked, adjusting his orange and black tie awkwardly, sensing that his boss's stress level were close to going through the roof.

"This playoff John, this playoff. Okay, so we won the first leg, but Bostopia have home advantage with a couple of away goals under their belt. I know there's a first time for everything, but godammit, I don't want this to be the first World Cup we haven't qualified for!"

"So what can we do?"

"The same thing we do every time."

"What, try to take over the world?"

Mazaki fixed his companion with the dirtiest of looks.

"You bloody numpty. I mean bribe the ref."

"Bribe the ref! Of course, that's brilliant! But..."

"But what?"

"But where are we going to get the money from? The FANB's accounts are pretty near empty after shelling out all that cash to compensate the Patusan FA after we set those giant ants on their players..."

"Accidently."

"Sorry sir - accidently set those giant ants on their players."

Mazaki chuckled. "Serves them savages right for eating our star striker."

"With all due respect sir, we don't know for sure it was them."

"Oh come you twat, it's blindingly obvious to anyone with half a braincell. He goes missing the moment we touched down there, they started playing better after eating him, and I swear one of their player's goal celebrations was exactly the same as his. But anyway, that's beside the point. We have no money - what do we bribe the ref with?"

John pondered this for a moment... then pondered some more.

"Hows about... we send him a video of Naru Sonata getting her jubblies out?"

Mazaki shook his head dismissively. "That won't work - all referees are shirtlifters. Well, the ones that ref our games are anyway. No, we have to find a way of making money, and fast... but how?"

"Ummmm, how about a bring-and-buy sale? That'll bring the punters in, and let's face it, most bring-and-buy sale punters are total mugs, right?"

"Ahem! I go to bring-and-buy sales too, you know." Mazaki scolded his junior as he reached inside his pocket. "Why, I went to a bring-and-buy sale just last week and got this Boysenberry email thingy..."

His eyes widened and he gasped.

"That's it! That's how we'll make money! Grab a pen and paper quick!"

John did as he was asked. "Okay, but why sir?"

"Shut up. I want you to send this email to every football association in the world:"

TO: Football Association of ..........
FROM: Northern Bettia National Lottery Commission

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Every month, we hand out billions of Groats in cash prizes,
and today YOU have been selected from our vast client database
as a prizewinner!

We have 86,000 NS-Dollars waiting for you in our private vaults,
and in order to receive your prize money, all you need to do is to
reply to this email with your bank account number, sort code, and
any security questions you may have set up so that we may wire
you the monies quickly and efficiently!

HURRY! THIS OPPORTUNITY WON'T LAST LONG!!!

REPLY NOW!!!!!

The two men laughed.

"Oh, that's genius sir, pure class!"

"Ah, but why stop with football associations. Just stick a little trojan in this message and mail it to as many foreigners as possible. Soon we'll be raking it in!"

"Yes! Well, us and the ref!"

Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT...............VENUE...RESULT

Qualifying Playoffs

01: Bostopia...............HOME....W 3-2
02: Bostopia...............Away....

Qualifying Group 9

01: Trumanistan............HOME....W 4-0
02: Quakmybush.............Away....L 1-3
03: St Samuel..............HOME....W 3-2
04: Noirthemme.............Away....W 6-0
05: Planting...............HOME....W 4-1
06: Patusan................Away....W 4-0
07: Jeruselem..............HOME....L 1-3
08: Trumanistan............Away....W 4-0
09: Quakmybush.............HOME....W 4-1
10: St Samuel..............Away....W 3-1
11: Noirthemme.............HOME....W 5-2
12: Planting...............Away....W 4-2
13: Patusan................HOME....L 2-3
14: Jeruselem..............Away....L 2-3

The Archregimancy

08-08-2007, 11:21

TO: Football Association of ..........
FROM: Northern Bettia National Lottery Commission

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Every month, we hand out billions of Groats in cash prizes,
and today YOU have been selected from our vast client database
as a prizewinner!

We have 86,000 NS-Dollars waiting for you in our private vaults,
and in order to receive your prize money, all you need to do is to
reply to this email with your bank account number, sort code, and
any security questions you may have set up so that we may wire
you the monies quickly and efficiently!

HURRY! THIS OPPORTUNITY WON'T LAST LONG!!!

REPLY NOW!!!!!

Dear Northern Bettia National Lottery Commission,

Thank you for your kind offer of 86,000 NS-dollars. However, as you may already know, here in the Archregimancy we consider participating in a lottery as a form of gambling, and this activity is therefore banned within the Holy Monastic Republic. Furthermore, money has no real meaning in the Dreamed Realm, and we have no 'bank account numbers'. We are also unclear as to what a 'sort code' might be.

If you insist that the money is ours regardless, we would like to suggest that you use it immediately to improve youth sporting facilities for your aspiring immoral cheats.

Yours In Christ,

The Monastic Football Association of the Archregimancy

Bettia

08-08-2007, 12:22

(OOC: a Sort Code is also known as a Bank State Branch number, Bank Transit Number or Bank Routing Number)

Patusan

08-08-2007, 13:32

Raidyo Yum PC news brought to you by Lovely Rump PC and read by Haneef Haneef...

... having been eaten the final will be played between the 3rd and 4th placed teams Muscle Extrusion PC and Betta Poison Darts PC.

In finance news it has been reported that an unknown offshore scam has resulted in over 370 billion patnas* being transferred out of the country. The Finance Minister, Sheik Haneef Costello, is concerned about the effect this will have on the economy. "It represents about 1% of our annual GDP and about 44% of our trade surplus. Don't kid yourself. This is a lot of money. Patusan has a robust economy and the patna has a high exchange rate. We will cope but someone somewhere has suddenly got a lot of patnas." Apparently the scam was sent by email which happened to be infected with a virus. Millions of people in Patusan received the bogus request for bank account details. "I guess all the recipients thought it was an easy way to get even richer," said a rueful minister today.

Turning to religion and authorities have revealed the new procedure for execution in cases of...

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/cannibalpot.gif

(*According to NSdossier about 560 billion US dollars.)

Jeruselem

08-08-2007, 13:39

At Jeruselem army ordinance training ...

Rashina Dallas: I don't know about this new lot, they don't look competent.
Officer: Well, they should - they firing live mortars.
Rashina: I hope in the direction of the target.
Officer: Stranger things have happened Major.

Rashina: Well, let's hope it goes in that direction.
Officer: That's why we do have these little shelters.
Rashina: Has one of these been directly?
Officer: Not yet, I don't want to know if it does.

Rashina: First round! (loud bangs)
Officer: I think they missed.
Rashina: Yes, especially that lot over there.
Officer: Those are the Jeru FC grade ones ...

Rashina: You sure that was a good idea?
Officer: Hey, wasn't my idea.
Rashina: Oh we just follow orders around here
Officer: Yes, that's it.

Rashina: Oh great ...
Officer: OK, time for the second round. (loud bangs)
Rashina: Looking better, hey one misfired.
Officer: Oh ...

Rashina: What! what!
Officer: They tend go backwards ...
Rashina: OK, let's hope it didn't.
Officer: Oh NO

(loud explosion, shelter gets hit - it collapses)

Army people running around looking for survivors.

Officer: HELP! We're in here!

Army people clear the rubble.

Officer: About time! Rashina isn't waking up.
Rescuer: It looks really bad, quickly get Rashina Dallas out of here.

Army people quickly get Rashina's body out of the rubble and into any army hospital tent.

Doctor: She's dead ...
Nurse: Looks like fatal brain injury
Doctor: Yes, looks like a large object struck her at wrong time.
Nurse: Oh dear, this is not good. We just killed the Jeruselem World Cup 36 captain.

Officer: What's with faces? Oh no ... don't tell me.
Doctor: Major Rashina Dallas is deceased.
Officer: Oh ... this will upset Dazza Dallas.
Doctor: She died pretty quickly if that's any kind of good news.

Rashina gets covered. Army people take her away.

Officer: Oh, we'll need to tell Dallas clan. I'll do it.
Doctor: You're injured too, you'd better get some attention.
Officer: My pain is nothing, Jeruselem will be mourning.
Doctor: Can we hold off the official announcement, for a few hours.

Officer: Can't do that too long, we don't want upset the Bike. She's a powerful woman in Jeruselem.

...

General: Yes, what is it?
Officer: Well, Jeruselem need a new World Cup 36 captain.
General: Eh? Rashina Dallas resigned or quit?
Officer: More like got buried by concrete and got her head smashed in.

General: You serious?
Officer: Yes sir, I was with her.
General: Mortar training right?
Officer: Yes sir.

General:
OK, OK. We'll need to send around people to Dallas family personally. We have to this right or we'll look like idiots. And keep the story the same. It can't be our fault - we need a alternative story. A mortar firing backwards is not good PR. We'll say it was a terrorist rocket attack on our training facility and one rocket hit the shelter. That's the line we have to push. We fired mortars at enemy positions in retalition.

Officer: Yes sir.

...

Ray Mosha, Jeruselem FA chief of staff, looking at an email from Northern Bettia. He rings someone

Ray: Dazza?
Dazza: Yeah, it's me. I was just cooking. Yes I can cook. Well sort of. My sister can't cook, that's she has a maid. Wait, these mud crabs are trying to escape. (Sound of Dazza hitting a few crabs with mallet)
Ray: I've got an email from Northern Bettia about some lottery.
Dazza: Would you trust any lottery in Northern Bettia?

Ray: Good point, dealing with thieving honourable gnomes is bad enough but those Northern Bettians are worse.
Dazza: If it involves money and Northern Bettia - it's not good.
Ray: I'll just bin it.
Dazza: Hey, the spam filters are supposed to get rid of that crap.

Ray: I know, they aren't working in this case.
Dazza: I'll have ring Symantec again, oh well.
Ray: Deleted now
Dazza: I have feed the kids now. Curry mud crab! Without the mud in the crab, of course. These were live and imported, local mud crabs are just mostly mud.

Ray: It says here, the security software deleted a trojan.
Dazza: I'm not surprised.
Ray: So, what do we do?
Dazza: Get the IT guys to raise paranoia level on the security software.

Ray: That means, any email from Northern Bettia will be blocked.
Dazza: That's a good thing really

Bostopia

08-08-2007, 19:04

A print off of an e-mail had just fell into the hands of Neil Clarty, the Chief of Operations of the Bostopian Special Police – who would most likely be referred to as the “Secret Services” or “Secret Police” in many other countries.

TO: Football Association of Bostopia
FROM: Northern Bettia National Lottery Commission

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Every month, we hand out billions of Groats in cash prizes,
and today YOU have been selected from our vast client database
as a prizewinner!

We have 86,000 NS-Dollars waiting for you in our private vaults,
and in order to receive your prize money, all you need to do is to
reply to this email with your bank account number, sort code, and
any security questions you may have set up so that we may wire
you the monies quickly and efficiently!

HURRY! THIS OPPORTUNITY WON'T LAST LONG!!!

REPLY NOW!!!!!

Neil looked at the senders. “Northern Bettia National Lottery Commission”. How would a National Lottery Commission have the private e-mail address of the Chairman of the FA? The only people who would have would be officials from OTHER Football Associations.

It’s not looking good for the Northern Bettians. He could have their staff arrested, it’s not like they could claim diplomatic protection when they wouldn’t be diplomats, seeing as Bostopia have never received any from Northern Bettia. Mind, Bettia might get involved. Then again, fraud IS a crime, and so is the sending of viruses...plus, the BSP have good grounds for arrest.

But arrest who? They couldn’t hold the whole squad and their officials.

Maybe an IP trace was in order…

Written Statement to the citizens of Jeruselem

Bostopia sends her deepest sympathy to the people of Jeruselem and their national team following the death of captain Rashina Dallas in an accident. The thoughts of Bostopian subjects and her national team are with the Dallas family and citizens of Jeruselem.

New Manhattan

08-08-2007, 19:54

From: Anita Johnson, Administrative Assistant, Capitalizt SLANI
To: Northern Bettia National Lottery Commission

TO: Capitalizt SLANI
FROM: Northern Bettia National Lottery Commission

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Every month, we hand out billions of Groats in cash prizes,
and today YOU have been selected from our vast client database
as a prizewinner!

We have 86,000 NS-Dollars waiting for you in our private vaults,
and in order to receive your prize money, all you need to do is to
reply to this email with your bank account number, sort code, and
any security questions you may have set up so that we may wire
you the monies quickly and efficiently!

HURRY! THIS OPPORTUNITY WON'T LAST LONG!!!

REPLY NOW!!!!!

You can wire us the money through our account at Bank of Chorion, number ********. Any security questions can be bypassed by a skilled telephone user ******* *** *** ** ********. Contact me again if there are any problems.

This message filtered by Scam-B-Gone version 11.4.2—ten times smarter than its users will ever be!

Cafundeu

08-08-2007, 20:25

RP Cutoff for Playoff Decision

Playoffs - Second Leg Results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12948975&postcount=20)

Bostopia

08-08-2007, 21:44

[Conway] We’re deep in injury time now; with “Captain Fantastic” Stuart Flambriff’s 49th minute goal still dividing the teams still as Northern Bettia launches another attack!

Sgt. Wakishi with the ball, charging down the right flank, plays it forward looking for Kyobu, who controls it on his chest and turns on the halfway line, Kyobu continuing Northern Bettia’s searing attack on the Bostopian defense but Vale tackles! And he wins the ball, lofting it forward, clearing his lines!

The referee blows the final whistle, and the Bostopian players on the pitch take a millisecond to respond, charging across the field to celebrate, with Kelly Firth getting pulled up onto the shoulders of the players on the subs bench and being paraded off .

[Conway] It’s finished Bostopia ONE, Northern Bettia NIL, Three all on the aggregate score but BOSTOPIA go through on away goals!

The stadium announcers’ voice rang out

“Ladies and Gentlemen…Bostopia have QUALIFIED for World Cup 36!We’re going to the Unified Capitalizt States and Cafundéu!

Red, white and blue fireworks shot up from around the stadium, marking Bostopia’s first ever World Cup qualification.

The crowd, reaching the 103,499 capacity continued to cheer and jump around the place, as general mayhem swept over all of Bostopia, with people bursting out of their homes into the front street to celebrate.

As the crowd stumbled out of the Bostopia Stadium some hours later, some passed under the newly-constructed Collick Gates, which had already been festooned with red, white and blue scarves following his death.

Fort Boston Plaza that night became the epicentre of the celebration, with the Emperor joining in with the fans in doing a merry jig.

Some hours later

[Parriff] I’m Jamie Parriff, and you’re watching Channel 9 Griffwitness News, Bostopia! We’re your official Football News Station for Bostopia as they make their way into their first ever World Cup, so stay tuned! We’ve got a special treat for you tonight, an interview with the first Bostopia manager to get Bostopia to the World Cup, and here she is, Kelly Firth.

The tv images cut to a shot of Kelly Firth, who’s obviously trying to hide her inebriation – though isn’t doing very well

[Firth] Hey Jamie, hey everybody!

[Parriff] Kelly, you’ve done it, Bostopia have qualified for the World Cup, how big an achievement is this?

[Firth] Jamie, it’s massive. It’s such a huge, huge massive accchievement for us, because to finally qualify is huge for the team, I mean, they’re all only just turned 18, so, it’s great for them and will be a huge huge huge boost to their qual…achie…experience and confidence going into the World Cup finals a better team than they were going into the qualification stage.

[Parriff] So, what are the teams plans now?

[Firth] Well, me and the team were thinking about going down to the huge party down at Fort Boston Plaza, I hear the Emperor’s still dancing and stuff along with the crowd, which must be in the thouuusands. That’s a massive amount, Jamie. But then we could just go back to the Bostopia Stadium, or even the Back of the Net Sports Bar, that place is bound to be open.

[Parriff] I actually meant plans for making their way to the UCS or Cafundéu.

[Firth] Oh. Well, we’ll be going for the draw for the group stage of the World Cup, which has a LOT of teams still in it, and then we’ll be making our way to whatever nation is hosting us. I’ve never been to either country before, so it’ll be a good draw either way, for new experiencesss.

[Parriff] And one last question, Kelly, what do you think Bostopia’s chances are of winning the World Cup?

Kelly looked at the camera, and then stepped off-screen for a moment, returning with a sign that read “LOL PWN3D”. Kelly then smiled at the camera, and walked off again, presumably to find another bottle of Tatetown Brown Ale.

[Parriff] Ok, well, I guess that answers that. Join us after the break for a heart warming story about a cat which had gotten stuck up a tree, but was rescued by a woman wielding a steak and kidney pie.

Jeruselem

09-08-2007, 00:12

Dazza Dallas with her World Cup 36 team

Dazza: OK everyone, we don't have Rashina Dallas here. So we're looking for new captain. I'm looking for volunteers. Any takers?

<Kate Dallas puts her hand up>

Dazza: See, everyone! Kate's only a kid and she wants to be Captain. Come on team, we need a leader. I can't make Kate a leader as she's too young. COME ON, do it for Rashina!

<Dinkie Dosha puts her hand up and so does Hikfie Dallas>

Dazza: That's better. Sorry, Hikfie, I think Dinkie is new captain. Hikfie, you're too brain dead unfortunately. I know you put your hand up because you are Rashina's sister.
Hikfie: That's alright!
Dazza: Dinkie, you are the new Captain!

Dinkie: Everyone, we lost our leader. So let's get together and win for Rashina!
Team: Dinkie! Dinkie! Dinkie!
Dazza: OK team, let's get to Rashina's funeral. (Breaks down)

Kate: Mum, mum - it's alright!
Hikfie: Auntie, don't cry.
Dazza: It's not fair, why Rashina! (crying).

[NS:]The HURD

09-08-2007, 19:42

Posted on HURDosphere, a forum of the HURD:

Hey, HURDists, I am here in the SLS R, or Estadije Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati as the official name is. I will keep y'all updatified about our match against the thousands of rejistani nations.

After several encouraging posts, the HURDist, who calls himself GNUbot posts again:

Saluton HURDanoj, there are NEWS, fresh and steamingly hot happened: THE MATCH STARTED!!!!

Again the forum jokes and posts encouraging things about the GNUbot. Someone who calls himself Jabberwocky commented: "GO; GNUs, GO!" others wanted to know what was going on and after a while the thread went off-topic about the internet connections in Rejistania. While one faction claimed after the nationalization and privatization of Konihekta JSK the state of the internet in Rejistania was horrible, another faction claimed the private JSKs only improved it. After a while, the GNUbot posted again.

Saluton, HURDanoj, Yeah, 'net slanis in the tani. The state of internet-connections in Rejistania errr, the AFNR is generally annoying: ISDN is the top of what you can reliably get. In some nations, internet is using some form of wireless networks, like it is done in this nation. KonireKaMaRi is the ISP, I am using. Rather flaky at times, but they have a clause in their contracts so I get back 0.01 Lil'kansu'ny (the KaMaRians were not really inventive in naming their currency, as were most other nations so there are a lot of different sorts of lil'kansu'ny in the AFNR) per connection abort, so I am sure that they will improve. If that would happen in other nations I was in during qualification, the ISPs would owe me money.

The match is not exciting, the Transnationals as well as the GNUs are not getting anything done. The midfield is the place where most action happens.

The thread goes off-topic again when people ask about the 'net in the midlands and others demand more government errr INFRASTRUCTURE influence in the infrastructure. As HURDists, of course most posters only had a faint idea what a government is, but what INFRASTRUCTURE is, they all know and so their posts are full of weird assumptions about the different rejistani governments and about private enterprises. GNUbot participated in the discussion most of the time, only sporadically posting updates of the match to the HURDosphere. What GNUbot wrote about the match was limited to 'SSSHIIIIITTTTTTTTTT! links failed! 0:1', 'konqueror malfunctioning, fortunately, we do have substitutions left!' and 'Yay! That is the equalizer, 1:1!'. Then the penalty kicks started and GNUbot posted quick updates on every penalty kick - except for the last one! a few days later, GNUbot explained in the forum that he was so happy about qualification that he threw his laptop into the air.

Cafundeu

09-08-2007, 23:29

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

COMMEMORATIVE FRIENDLY – WORLD CUP 36 COVERAGE FROM LASFT
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CLOSE GAME IN COMMEMORATIVE FRIENDLY

http://img399.imageshack.us/img399/451/semttulodo1.jpg
Obelisco Monumental held the game

The qualifying stage of the World Cup ended, and finally Cafundéu was ready to welcome the qualified teams. The stadiums were built, the transport was excellent and the tourists can now come here to spend their money in comfort. Hotels started to receive the visitors, but most of them don’t support any country in special. The supporters will only really come in big number after the group draw, when it’ll be defined which countries will play in Cafundéu.

But, in order to commemorate the World Cup in its country, the CCFM arranged a big friendly. The Cafundéu National Team, which is preparing to try to make its best campaign in World Cup history, played against a team composed of the best player of last season’s National League of Cafundéu. Big names such as Bob Woolmer (Jeruselem-Petardos S/A), Carlos Cueto (Schiavonia-Atlético Jutense), Colin Patette (Sel Appa-CR Submiria), Arman Latvala (ex-Squornshelous-Dunboor FC), Roy Hartenholm (Capitalizt SLANI-Dunboor FC), Lennie Newton (Wentland-Petardos S/A), Andi Busilanta (Bettia-Clube Imperial), Ganz Ijak (ex-Cafundéu-Petardos S/A) and many others played for this special team, who gave work to the National Team.

After a disputed game, very exciting, without violence and good to watch, the game ended in a 3x3 draw. This seemed the fairest result, and maybe predictable, as the game was to commemorate the World Cup, not to try to see if the League was better than the National Team. The Empire also won a lot of money, as nearly two hundred thousand tickets were sold. After this friendly, Cafundéu’s NT will continue training, until the first game of the World Cup.

THE GAME
The game started slowly. Both teams started not playing their best, but this situation changed after the first good play, made by the Seleção. Patette made a very good pass to Andi Busilanta in the attack. The player dribbled Chico Serra and shot. The ball hit the post and left the playing field. After this good chance, Cafundéu woke up and replied three minutes after. Heitor received the ball inside the area and shot with strength, but Moisés saved.

After the fifteenth minute, it was clear that both teams were giving their best, but continued respecting their opponents. Da Silva took a corner kick and Ganz Ijak headed, but the ball went over the bar. Flecha replied with a fast counterattack, but Woolmer cleared the danger. In another attack, the Seleção scored. Latvala passed the ball to Andi Busilanta, who shot when Júnior was leaving the goal, scoring the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“And herrrrre comes again the League’s best players. Latvala is attacking now. Barrrrrbosa comes to face him. Latvala prrrrreferrrrrs to pass the ball... Grrrrreat pass to Busilanta! The attacker has only the keeper to beat, Eduarrrrrdo Monte is out of his position. He invades the arrrrrea, shoots... and it’s a goal! GOOOOOAL! For the Seleção! Andi Busilanta, number ten! Seleção da Liga one, Cafundéu zero! Buy the official shirt of World Cup thirrrrrty-six, in the best storrrrres of the countrrrrry!”

But Cafundéu continued playing well even after suffering the goal, and didn’t take much time to score its goal too. But before it, nearly suffered the second. This time, Latvala took a corner kick, Grey hit the ball and Newton shot to the goal. Júnior made a miracle and saved. The goal happened in the thirtieth minute. Dário appeared running in the left wing and crossed the ball to the area. Rato invaded the area running and hit the ball with his left foot, surprising Moisés and scoring the goal.

Cafundéu didn’t stop attacking, and the Seleção da Liga was passing by bad moments in the game. Anormal dribbled Cueto beautifully, but his shot was too poor and Castor could clear the danger. Later, Patette lost the ball in the midfield and Anormal attacked. He reached the opponent’s area and shot. The ball hit the post, but Rato was in the right place to get the rebound and score his second goal in the game. Read Breno Gavião:

“Patette with the ball, but Anorrrrrmal comes. It’s difficult to escape frrrrrom the giant. And that’s it, he loses the ball. Anorrrrrmal now attacking, he is going to the arrrrrea. Prrrrreparrrrres, shoots... hits the post! But the ball rrrrreturrrrrns to the arrrrrea, Rrrrrato for it... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Rrrrrrato, number seven! Cafundéu could rrrrreact and scored two goals in thrrrrree minutes! Cafundéu two, Seleção da Liga zerrrro!”

After Cafundéu’s second goal, the team commanded by Júlio Vargas defended more until the end of the half, but still had a chance with a long ranged shot of Toninho. But the Seleção offered some danger in the last minute of the half, with two good attacks. One with Busilanta, who dribbled Léo Mattos and shot, sending the ball wide. Another with Da Silva, who headed the ball after a crossing made by Ijak, but Júnior saved.

http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/2459/5314116471gatb4.jpg
Seleção players commemorate first goal

The teams made many changes for the second half, to test some players and give an opportunity of playing time for other players. But the situation of the game continued the same. Fast attacks and interesting tactics. But in the second half, the Seleção seemed a much better team, while Cafundéu lost some of its ball possession in the midfield. In the first minutes, it seemed that Cafundéu was able to hold the opponent team, but it was wrong.

The Seleção used the strength of its attack to press the National Team. In the first good play of the half, Lennie Newton invaded the area after receiving a pass from Del Valle, and shot. Eduardo Monte intercepted the ball. Cueto took the rebound and shot, but Júnior saved. The goal happened in another play. Andi Busilanta took the ball from Wilson Magrão and passed it to Roy Hartenholm, who had no difficulties to shot and score the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“Not a good game rrrrright now for the National Team of Cafundéu. The entrrrrrance of Harrrrrtenholm and the good rrrrrreturrrrrn of Newton imprrrrroved the perrrrrformance of the Seleção. Now it’s Busilanta who takes the ball, in a mistake of Wilson. He passes the ball, Harrrrtenholm gets it, it’ll be easy to scorrrrre, he shoots... it’s a goal! GOOOOOAL! For the Seleção! Harrrrrtenholm, number seventeen! Seleção da Liga two, Cafundéu two!”

After the goal, Cafundéu still suffered some pressure for about ten minutes, but after that could get some of the possession back, and the game returned to be equal. Cafundéu even had a good goal chance with Heitor, who received the ball from Dário and shot to the goal. Kinta Burka showed good reflexes and was fast to save. The Seleção replied with an interesting chip shot of Gray, saved by Júnior. But after these chances the game calmed down, and wasn’t with the same excitement of the first half.

More changes in both teams were seen, and the supporters were expecting more goals. But most of the players were tired, and the draw seemed already a good result. But, with five minutes remaining for the end of the game, Cafundéu started a counterattack with Neto. The ball reached Tales, who shot to the goal. The shot wasn’t so strong, but Burka was unhappy in letting the ball enter in the goal. Tales commemorated the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“The game is good so far, although the firrrrrst half was much more exciting. Now Wilson Magrrrrrão has the ball, and Neto asks for it. Neto rrrrreceives the ball and faces Mokat. He decides to pass the ball to Tales, who is in a good position. He invades the arrrrrea, Woolmer comes to mark him. He shoots the ball and... and it’s a goal? A goal! GOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Tales scored! Cafundéu thrrrrree, Seleção da Liga two! Do you have childrrrren? So buy for them Palhaçada toys, fun and rrrrreliable!”

Milton Neves, tired, was already looking at his clock to see how many minutes he would give as injury time. But for the Seleção, the game was not ended. Tramontina crossed the ball to the area. Hartenholm fell inside the area and Alessandrini cleared the danger. Ganz Ijak took the rebound, invaded the area, and shot. The ball hit Anormal’s legs and entered in the goal. After the third goal of the Seleção, both teams controlled the ball just waiting for the end of the game.

AFTER THE GAME
After the game, the reporters wanted to know the opinion of the coaches and players of both teams. The first to talk was Júlio Vargas, who said: “Nothing bad. This was just a commemorative game, but the team showed will to fight and I like it. With some adjustments, the team will be ready to make a good job in the World Cup. Eduardo Bosschaart said: “It was fun. I think that I’ll never coach such a strong team as this one again in my life.”

The best player of the game, Andi Busilanta, said: “I’ll play in the World Cup too, so this is a good training. The stadium was really improved and I hope to play again here during the World Cup, and try to win the title again.” Roy Hartenholm said: “Nice game. Now I’ll go to the Unified Capitalizt States to join the National Team.” Ganz Ijak said: “Well, this is probably my last game as a football player. Please don’t forget me.”

Cafundéu’s National Team players talked too. The first was Heitor, who said: “The Seleção is a very strong team. They have a World Cup champion, and players of top footballing nations, so the draw was in the end a good result for us.” Anormal said: “And we had the chance to win this game, winning until the last minutes. It’s sad that we weren’t able to hold the result and suffered that unlucky goal in the end, but that’s football.”

http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/6562/5623601332gapy0.jpg
Rato commemorates goal with Anormal and Barbosa

CAFUNDÉU 3x3 SELECÃO DA LIGA

Place: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft.
Attendance: 183,597 people.
Referee: Milton Neves (Cafundéu).
MOTM: Andi Busilanta (Seleção da Liga).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júnior (Lauro 70’), Léo Mattos, Toninho (Alessandrini 45’), Eduardo Monte and Chico Serra (Souza 45’); Anormal, Barbosa (Wilson Magrão 45’), Dário (Neto 72’) and Rato (Ferreira 81’); Flecha (Tales 64’) and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

SELEÇÃO DA LIGA: Moisés (Burka 45’), Gray (Enrico 80’), Castor (Mokat 65’), Woolmer and Cueto (Carlão 65’); Patette (Del Valle 45’), Da Silva and Latvala (Hartenholm 45’); Newton (Tramontina 72’), Ijak and A.Busilanta (Horsch 82’).
Coach: Eduardo Bosschaart.

Goals:CAF: Rato 30’/33’ , Tales 85’.
SLL: A.Busilanta 23’ , Hartenholm 52’ , Ijak 88’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeruselem

10-08-2007, 00:52

Jeruselem Government News

Tribute to Rashina Dallas

Some of you Jeruselemites may not have heard of Rashina Dallas but she started her career at the same time as Dazza Dallas (who is oddly her auntie). Rashina Dallas is just one of 12 children of Debbie Dallas.

Rashina Dallas finally got her dream to captain a World Cup team for this cup and now, she is historically the only to die as a World Cup captain leaving the position without getting fired, injured on field, quitting or retiring. She leaves behind two kids and a husband, Rocky Pointy Stick who also happens to be a Dazza Dallas fan and a former World Cup player.

She is only Dallas in the armed forces and was in the service of the armed forces she died. To add a twist, she was found to be pregnant when she died as well. So two people died when Rashina Dallas died on service of the nation.

Dallas family spokeswoman Dazza Dallas said the family is not getting angry at anyone for her death as getting killed in service of national armed forces is not dishonourable at all. She also said Rashina knew military service had it's risks and getting your head blow off was one of them.

The Jeruselem FA is requesting one minute's silence for Jeruselem's first Group Stage game in memory of Rashina Dallas from the World Cup organisers.

Solenial

10-08-2007, 13:53

The Solenial Herald wishes to do a story in our newspaper on your Memorial to the female footballer (or as the americans call it soccer-player) do you accept our proposal?

Bettia

10-08-2007, 16:38

Pity Fat Evan, for the poor thing could barely walk. It wasn't his obesity that was doing him in though. Oh no - like most football fans in Bettia, he'd been laughing so hard ever since Northern Bettia's attempt to bribe the referee fell flat on its face, allowing their good friends from Bostopia to qualify in their place. Not only that but the Kura-Pulland FA, obviously not fancying having to draft in a few extra thousand police, had made the very wise decision not to invite the Fire Ants to the Cup of Harmony. As far as the ordinary Bettian was concerned, that was the icing on an already hilarious cake.

And so he walked down the High Street, wincing as he nursed his sore sides. He couldn't help but laugh, despite the protests from his ribs. He opened the door to the Pie & Pixie, walked in and made his way to his normal spot.

"Mornin' Evan!" Ali called over from the counter. "Cup of the usual, is it?"

"Aye, that'd be smashing. A plate of scones too while you're at it please!"

No sooner had he'd called out his order, Junilun appeared right in front of him with his order.

"Wow! That was quick!"

"Oh, we saw you coming!" Junilun replied whilst closing her eyes - it seemed clear to Evan she was trying one of her sister's cheeky grins. Of course, wearing a veil over her face meant it didn't quite work, although her dark eyes were still rather lovely to look at.

Just then, he spied Fatarani sat in front of the café's HumungoScreen.

"Hey kid - whatcha watching?" he asked.

"I'm not a kid, I'm 245 years old!" she replied. "It's a wierd little thing called an 'afternoon movie'. You want to watch it with me?"

(OOC: go on, you know you want to (http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1859047)!!!)

"Erm... no thanks. I've rather watch the draw for the World Cup groups."

"Ooh yes, that's starting any minute!" Ali added. "Fatarani, could you change the telly to Sonastra please?"

"Sure - this film's rubbish anyway... that bloke really is wearing red!"

Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT................VENUE...RESULT

Qualifying Group 5

FR: Az-cz...................HOME....W 3-2
01: Spruitland..............Away....L 1-2
02: Dance 2 Revolution......HOME....W 4-2
03: Shackfold...............Away....W 6-1
04: Kansiov.................HOME....W 7-2
05: Green wombat............Away....L 2-4
06: TT Lake Side............Away....W 2-0
07: Bazalonia...............HOME....W 3-2
FR: Az-cz...................Away....L 1-3
08: Spruitland..............HOME....W 4-0
09: Dance 2 Revolution......Away....W 3-0
10: Shackfold...............HOME....W 5-1
11: Kansiov.................Away....W 6-1
12: Green wombat............HOME....W 4-0
13: TT Lake Side............HOME....W 5-1
14: Bazalonia...............Away....D 2-2

New Manhattan

10-08-2007, 19:59

A crowd of football fans filled Aeropag’s twenty thousand–seat AZAK Dome, an ice hockey arena built for the I Olympic Winter Games that was today serving a different purpose. Capitalizt SLANI chairman Rikarda Reneda stood at the podium that had been set up in what would normally be the center circle, with representatives of each of the thirty-one other participanting teams in front of him and a large electronic display behind him. Rather than using the clumsy system of balls in bowls that had plagued the playoff draw with problems, a state-of-the-art computer had been installed in the podium with a hardware random number generator that would automatically draw each team and display it on the screen, complete with flag icons and other wastes of money.

“Greetings, and welcome to the group draw for the thirty-sixth football World Cup. As was announced yesterday, the teams have been seeded based on their ranks prior to the qualifying stage. Capitalizt SLANI has been automatically placed as the first seed in Group A, which, along with groups B, C, and D, will be played in the Unified Capitalizt States. Cafundéu has been automatically placed as the first seed in Group E, which, along with groups F, G, and H, will be played in Cafundéu. The remaining teams have been placed in six pots:

“Pot One contains the other six top-seeded teams: Ariddia, Az-cz, Bettia, Elves Security Forces, Milchama, and Schiavonia.

“Pot Two contains the second-seeded teams: the Archregimancy, Demot, Errinundera, Jeruselem, the Lowland Clans, Oliverry, Squornshelous, and Vilita.

“Pot Three contains the third seeds: Bazalonia, Eff-em-jay-phœnix, the Holy Empire, Turori, Tynelia, Sel Appa, Wentland, and Zwangzug.

“Pot Four contains six of the fourth seeds: Atheistic Right, Bostopia, the HURD, Qazox, Quakmybush, and Yafor Two.

“The two special pots contain Estresse Intenso and Jasīʼyūn. By agreement with the Confederação Cafundelense de Futebol Masculino, Estresse Intenso will be drawn as the fourth seed in one of the groups played in Cafundéu. By agreement with Capitalizt SLANI, Jasīʼyūn will be drawn as the fourth seed in one of the groups played in the Unified Capitalizt States.”

Reneda took a deep breath, providing a sufficient pause for people to read the information he had just spoken from the display—he doubted that any of them were actually paying more than cursory attention to the lists until now.

“First, the teams in the special pots will be drawn.

“Estresse Intenso…will be placed in group H.

“Jasīʼyūn…will be placed in group A!”

As the vast majority of the spectators at the draw were from the UCS—who’s going to travel across Atlantian Oceania to watch a draw?—this announcement produced a loud cheer. It was strange enough that the team’s first World Cup would be played on home soil; it was even stranger that their rivals would be one of their opponents. However, few of them would realize, until it was printed in tomorrow’s newspapers, that the Capitalizt SLANI–Jasīʼyūn fixture also happened to be the first match of the Cup.

“Next, the teams from Pot Four will be drawn.

“In group B…Qazox.

“In group C…Quakmybush.

“In group D…Yafor Two.

“In group E…the HURD.

“In group F…Atheistic Right.

“This leaves Bostopia in group G.”

These teams were read out amid complete silence. No one was going to be very interested in the draw until the higher seeds.

“Next, the teams from Pot Three will be drawn.

“In group A…Tynelia.

“In group B…the Holy Empire.

“In group C…Sel Appa.

“In group D…Eff-em-jay-phœnix.

“In group E…Wentland.

“In group F…Zwangzug.

“In group G…Turori.

“Finally, in group H, Bazalonia.”

Now things were getting interesting. Capitalizt SLANI’s main rival for advancement to the second round was about to be revealed, and it would soon become very clear which groups would be challenging.

“Now, the teams from Pot Two will be chosen.

“In group A…Vilita.”

Slani! thought Reneda. Of all the second seeds to be picked, it had to be the one that’s ranked higher than us!

“In group B…Squornshelous.

“In group C…Errinundera.

“In group D…Oliverry.

“In group E…the Archregimancy.

“In group F…Jeruselem.

“In group G…the Lowland Clans.

“And Demot will be placed in group H.

“At last, the teams from Pot One will be drawn.

“In group B…Schiavonia.

“In group C…Milchama.

“In group D…Elves Security Forces.

“In group F…Ariddia.

“In group G…the defending champions, Bettia.

“This leaves Az-cz in group H. This concludes the draw. Good luck to all of the participants.”

The computer invited her to read out the teams in each of the groups, for the benefit of television news programs around the world, but she ignored the prompt, figuring that anyone with half a brain could read the screen.

—————

OOC: Here is the draw and fixtures for the World Cup finals:

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/36/UCS/ Unified Capitalizt States groups (stadium information (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12865676&postcount=25))

Group A
Capitalizt SLANI (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12865681&postcount=27))
Vilita (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12882021&postcount=47))
Tynelia (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12864649&postcount=19))
Jasīʼyūn (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12865683&postcount=26))

MD1: Capitalizt SLANI vs Jasīʼyūn @ Capitalizm, 유포 (ʼYupo)
MD1: Vilita vs Tynelia @ Auswärtssieg Arena, Natestadt
MD2: Jasīʼyūn vs Tynelia @ Keto Olympic Stadium, 케토 (Keto)
MD2: Capitalizt SLANI vs Vilita @ Sokojito Überdome, 소코지토 도시 (Sokojito Dosi)
MD3: Vilita vs Jasīʼyūn @ Capitalizm, 유포 (ʼYupo)
MD3: Capitalizt SLANI vs Tynelia @ Sokojito Überdome, 소코지토 도시 (Sokojito Dosi)

Group B
Schiavonia (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12890404&postcount=50))
Squornshelous (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12868676&postcount=40))
The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12869625&postcount=41))
Qazox (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12863986&postcount=17))

MD1: Schiavonia vs Qazox @ Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag
MD1: Squornshelous vs The Holy Empire @ Noka Communications Stadium, Noka
MD2: Qazox vs The Holy Empire @ Cirto Seaside Stadium, Cirto
MD2: Schiavonia vs Squornshelous @ JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo
MD3: Squornshelous vs Qazox @ Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag
MD3: Schiavonia vs The Holy Empire @ JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo

Group C
Milchama (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12867017&postcount=32))
Errinundera (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12863431&postcount=9))
Sel Appa (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12862940&postcount=6))
Quakmybush (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12866996&postcount=31))

MD1: Milchama vs Quakmybush @ Drakcorp Querzakhi Olympic Stadium, Querzakhi
MD1: Errinudera vs Sel Appa @ Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center
MD2: Quakmybush vs Sel Appa @ Koepel van IJsselmeer, IJsselmeer
MD2: Milchama vs Errinundera @ Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights
MD3: Errinundera vs Quakmybush @ Drakcorp Querzakhi Olympic Stadium, Querzakhi
MD3: Milchama vs Sel Appa @ Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights

Group D
Elves Security Forces (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12863901&postcount=16))
Oliverry (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12867139&postcount=34))
Fmjphoenix
Yafor 2 (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12945292&postcount=67))

MD1: Elves Security Forces vs Yafor 2 @ C4Stadion, Metrewalk
MD1: Oliverry vs Fmjphoenix @ Stádie Síntaüilire’da, Otário
MD2: Yafor 2 vs Fmjphoenix @ Unity Stadium, International City
MD2: Elves Security Forces vs Oliverry @ Esther Marchese Memorial Stadium, Sonoma City
MD3: Oliverry vs Yafor 2 @ C4Stadion, Metrewalk
MD3: Elves Security Forces vs Fmjphoenix @ Esther Marchese Memorial Stadium, Sonoma City

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/36/CAF/ Cafundéu groups (stadium information (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12863602&postcount=13))

Group E
Cafundéu (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12863602&postcount=13))
The Archregimancy (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12884915&postcount=49))
Wentland (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12876448&postcount=44))
The HURD (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12898942&postcount=57))

MD1: Cafundéu vs The HURD @ Obelisco Monumental, Lasft
MD1: The Archregimancy vs Wentland @ Aquário Nacional, Submiria
MD2: The HURD vs Wentland @ Estádio Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard, Espinal
MD2: Cafundéu vs The Archregimancy @ Olímpico Imperial, Lux
MD3: The Archregimancy vs The HURD @ Olímpico Imperial, Lux
MD3: Cafundéu vs Wentland @ Obelisco Monumental, Lasft

Group F
Ariddia (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12861339&postcount=2))
Jeruselem (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12863287&postcount=7))
Zwangzug (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12862264&postcount=5))
Atheistic Right (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12863565&postcount=12))

MD1: Ariddia vs Atheistic Right @ Praça Maior, Cafundó do Juta
MD1: Jeruselem vs Zwangzug @ Parque do Sol, Elville
MD2: Atheistic Right vs Zwangzug @ Arena América, Abadia
MD2: Ariddia vs Jeruselem @ Aquário Nacional, Submiria
MD3: Jeruselem vs Atheistic Right @ Praça Maior, Cafundó do Juta
MD3: Ariddia vs Zwangzug @ Arena América, Abadia

Group G
Bettia (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12870823&postcount=42))
The Lowland Clans (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12902549&postcount=61))
Turori
Bostopia (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12862136&postcount=3))

MD1: Bettia vs Bostopia @ Maracatuzão, Dunboor
MD1: The Lowland Clans vs Turori @ Estádio Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard, Espinal
MD2: Bostopia vs Turori @ C-Electronics/Globo Stadium, Astari
MD2: Bettia vs The Lowland Clans @ Maracatuzão, Dunboor
MD3: The Lowland Clans vs Bostopia @ Estádio Pioneiro, São José
MD3: Bettia vs Turori @ C-Electronics/Globo Stadium, Astari

Group H
Az-cz (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12864738&postcount=20))
Demot (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12867239&postcount=36))
Bazalonia (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12863563&postcount=11))
Estresse Intenso (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12864776&postcount=21))

MD1: Az-cz vs Estresse Intenso @ Presídio, Carandirú City
MD1: Demot vs Bazalonia @ Estádio Pioneiro, São José
MD2: Estresse Intenso vs Bazalonia @ Parque do Sol, Elville
MD2: Az-cz vs Demot @ Toca do Tatu, Central City
MD3: Demot vs Estresse Intenso @ Presídio, Carandirú City
MD3: Az-cz vs Bazalonia @ Toca do Tatu, Central City

Knockout stage fixtures
Match 1: Winner group A vs runner-up group D @ Sokojito Überdome, 소코지토 도시 (Sokojito Dosi)
Match 2: Winner group B vs runner-up group C @ JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo
Match 3: Winner group C vs runner-up group B @ Metropolitan Stadium, Commerce Heights
Match 4: Winner group D vs runner-up group A @ Drakcorp Querzakhi Olympic Stadium, Querzakhi
Match 5: Winner group E vs runner-up group H @ Praça Maior, Cafundó do Juta
Match 6: Winner group F vs runner-up group G @ Presídio, Carandirú City
Match 7: Winner group G vs runner-up group F @ Toca do Tatu, Central City
Match 8: Winner group H vs runner-up group E @ Obelisco Monumental, Lasft

Quarterfinal 1: Winner match 1 vs winner match 2 @ Capitalizm, 유포 (ʼYupo)
Quarterfinal 2: Winner match 3 vs winner match 4 @ Esther Marchese Memorial Stadium, Sonoma City
Quarterfinal 3: Winner match 5 vs winner match 6 @ Maracatuzão, Dunboor
Quarterfinal 4: Winner match 7 vs winner match 8 @ Arena América, Abadia

Semifinal 1: Winner quarterfinal 1 vs winner quarterfinal 2 @ Sokojito Überdome, 소코지토 도시 (Sokojito Dosi)
Semifinal 2: Winner quarterfinal 3 vs winner quarterfinal 4 @ Obelisco Monumental, Lasft

Third place match: Loser semifinal 1 vs loser semifinal 2 @ Praça Maior, Cafundó do Juta

Final: Winner semifinal 1 vs winner semifinal 2 @ undisclosed location in the Unified Capitalizt States (to be announced after the quarterfinals)

Qazox

10-08-2007, 20:21

QSPN WORLD CUP DRAW

..And to sum up the draw, at least for the Pheonix, They are in Group B along with(pre-Qualifer ranks) #3 Schiavonia, #13 Squornshelous, and #18 The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus].

Here is the Pheonix's Schedule:

MD1: Schiavonia vs Qazox @ Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag
MD2: Qazox vs The Holy Empire @ Cirto Seaside Stadium, Cirto
MD3: Squornshelous vs Qazox @ Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag

This can be considered one of the tougher groups in the Cup.

Schiavonia, Defending 3rd place finishers, Finsihed Qualifing with a 13-0-1 record.

The Holy Empire, One of the original teams, who have recently re-emerged as a powerhouse. Went 13-1-0 during qualififng, one of the few unbeaten.

Squornshelous, WC champion at World Cup 31, 10-3-1 during qualifiers.

Qazox has its work cut out for it if it is to advance to the 2nd round for the first time in team history.

QSPN will carry all the World Cup matches live on ether QSPN or QSPN2.

Squornshelous

10-08-2007, 22:55

The news that Squornshelous had been drawn into Group B, playing in the Unified Capitalizt States did not have a particularly invigorating effect on the two dozen or so men assembled at the Squornshelous Pschychoes's last team meeting before leaving the country. The players had been hoping for a draw that would send them to Cafundeu, where it is fast becoming a fad for Squornshelan players to showcase their skills on a club level.

Three of the younger players on the roster: midfielders Caj Ilmari and Viggo Haakana, and forward Erkki Aatunen, had especially been hoping to see Cafundeu, having just signed with teams there.

Commerce Heights was not as attractive a destination. Squornshelans still hold a sizeable grudge against the Capitalizts for beating them 84 years ago in the World Cup 15 final, nevermind the fact that very few people who remember the match firsthand are left alive. The last surviving member of that Squornshelan team is former Pschychoes defensive midfielder Stanely Perkins, and at 103, we honestly don't expect him to hang around much longer.

On top of this, our group is a tough one. Schiavonia have beena much stronger team of late than the Pschychoes and the Holy Empire, despite a somewhat harebrained idea of portraying their footballers as philosophers through qualifying, are also a big threat to our advancement. Qazox are also quite dangerous. This is one group where we could quite easily see any combination of teams moving on. While Schiavonia do seem to be on the inside track for the second round, we don't think any team in this group is safe until they have six points in hand.

Group B
Schiavonia
Squornshelous
The Holy Empire
Qazox

MD1: Squornshelous vs The Holy Empire @ Noka Communications Stadium, Noka
MD2: Schiavonia vs Squornshelous @ JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo
MD3: Squornshelous vs Qazox @ Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag

Cafundeu

10-08-2007, 23:39

GLOBO MULTIMEDIA - THE BIGGEST SPONSOR OF WORLD CUP 36 PRESENTS
THE GROUP DRAW FOR WORLD CUP 36 AND BRENO'S ANALYSIS

BRENO - "Welcome, frrrrriends of Globo Multimedia! I'm Brrrrreno Gavião, and we'll talk about the World Cup grrrrroups. The drrrrraw was alrrrrready made, and now we can see the grrrrroups in the scrrrrreen. To comment with me, I invited the prrrrresident of the CCFM, Miguel Jóia! Welcome, Miguel."

MIGUEL - "Thanks, Breno. Half of the qualified teams will play in Cafundéu, and everything is ready to accomodate them. This cup will be important to improve our financial situation... er, I mean our political relationships with other countries."

BRENO - "All rrrrright, Miguel. So, let's see the firrrrrst grrrrroup!"

Group A
Capitalizt SLANI
Vilita
Tynelia
Jasīʼyūn

BRENO - "Grrrrroup A is this one. The hosts arrrrre in it."

MIGUEL - "I see that Jasīʼyūn has few chances of winning a game. I must say that it'll be difficult for them to score a point. Capitalizt SLANI will probably qualify, but the battle for the other spot can hold us a surprise, although Vilita seems to have an advantage."

Group B
Schiavonia
Squornshelous
The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus]
Qazox

BRENO - "Good grrrrroup, full of strrrrrong teams..."

MIGUEL - "Extremely difficult group. I haven't seen the other ones, but this group probably is the most difficult. I see Schiavonia going to the second phase, but the second team... I can't even predict. Squornshelous, The Holy Empire and Qazox... a very difficult group."

Group C
Milchama
Errinundera
Sel Appa
Quakmybush

BRENO - "Another strrrrrong grrrrroup, Miguel?"

MIGUEL - "Yes, it is. I still think that group B is more difficult, but this one is complicated too. I don't think that Quakmybush will qualify, but all the other countries have good chances of qualifying. One of them will stay out of the knockout stage, and this is a very sad thing."

Group D
Elves Security Forces
Oliverry
Fmjphoenix
Yafor 2

BRENO - "Easy to prrrrredict, Miguel?"

MIGUEL - "At least it seems easy. Elves Security Forces and Oliverry will probably dominate the group without problems. Can't see Fmjphoenix or Yafor 2 giving some kind of work to them."

Group E
Cafundéu
The Archregimancy
Wentland
The HURD

BRENO - "Now, to our grrrrroup. Cafundéu was placed in the grrrrroup with The Arrrrrchrrrrregimancy, Wentland and The HURD. It's not the easiest of the drrrrraws, but it is far frrrrrom difficult, don't you think?"

MIGUEL - "I agree. I'll start talking about The HURD. Our team defeated them in the Cup of Harmony and we are more than ready to defeat them again. If we win the game against them, I think that The HURD is able to take some points from the other opponents, which would help us."

BRENO - "But the other two countrrrrries have strrrrrong teams, don't you think?"

MIGUEL - "Of course, of course. But we have good chances. Playing at home, we can have a better performance than them. Our supporters are one of the most determined of the world. Wentland had some difficulties during the qualifying stage. They didn't lose a single game, but they draw against many teams that would be easy to defeat. Against us, they can finally lose."

BRENO - "And the monks?"

MIGUEL - "Yes, it'll be difficult. They are the best team of the group, but our guys can win, with some luck and using all their potential. I think that they'll qualify with us."

Group F
Ariddia
Jeruselem
Zwangzug
Atheistic Right

BRENO - "This one is grrrroup F, to be played herrrrre in Cafundéu too. The capital city, Cafundó do Juta, is the main host of this grrrrroup."

MIGUEL - "Not too difficult to predict too. At least in theory. Ariddia and Jeruselem are two top teams, and will be fighting for the first place. Although Zwangzug is a good team, Ariddia and Jeruselem are much better. Atheistic Right's players must be happy to just play in the World Cup."

Group G
Bettia
The Lowland Clans
Turori
Bostopia

BRENO - "Grrrrroup G, then. The cold city of Dunboor is the main host of this interrrrresting grrrrroup. Easy to prrrrredict?"

MIGUEL - "Well, few chances for Bostopia, medium chances for Turori. These two countries will probably be eliminated from the World Cup in the first stage. There is chance of surprises, but, to tell you the truth, Bettia and The Lowland Clans are in much better form nowadays, and Bettia will take the first place, followed by the Clans.

Group H
Az-cz
Demot
Bazalonia
Estresse Intenso

BRENO - "Last grrrrroup. The Centrrrrral State's cities of Centrrrrral City and Carrrrrandirrrrrú, the prrrrrison city, arrrrre the main hosts. Our main rrrrrivals, Estresse Intenso, arrrrre located there. So, can we believe that they'll be destrrrrroyed?"

MIGUEL - "Yes. This is the most difficult group of Cafundéu's ones, in my opinion. Az-cz can qualify easily, but Demot and Bazalonia... well, they'll have to fight for the second place. Estresse Intenso can maybe win one point or two with their defensive strategy, but just that."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(OOC: details about Cafundéu and its stadiums below)

Background Detail: Cafundéu doesn't have strange costumes and nothing too absurd happens there (it’s main traditions are the ones usually linked with Brazil (carnival, fanatic football fans, many regional parties, local food and music)). But please note that in Cafundéu you'll have to pay for almost everything. You'll have to pay for the water, food, transport, products, to walk in the road, to receive an answer about something, to complain, to sleep, and many other things. Cafundéu is also looking to profit with the World Cup, so any country with good economy is free to invest here or buy some of our products. Drugs are prohibited and the laws are very strict. The prisons are horrible and the prisoners live in bad conditions, but they have the right to watch the games in Carandirú City for free. Cafundéu's press is also very annoying, as they'll make everything to get some news. More detail in my NSWiki (about government, but not updated).

The Map:

http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/5529/mapacafundeu2ak5.png

Stadiums Used: Cafundéu has many stadiums that are in good conditions to be used for the World Cup. But 12 were chosen and will host the competition. The CCFM decided that each city must host at least two games:

Praça Maior
City: Cafundó do Juta
City Details: capital of the country, is a big metropolis, with many things to do, many clubs, good nightlife and shops, and also many points for tourism. The police are well funded. The city is the most important for the economy of the country. The stadium is very nice and has excellent infrastructure, and is often used for other events, as shows. It is close of the Bovacaf, Cafundéu’s stock market’s main building.
Climate: warm and wet(high rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 180,000.
Infrastructure: *****
Will Host:
Ariddia x Atheistic Right
Jeruselem x Atheistic Right
Oitava-de-Final (E1 x H2)
Third Place Game

Parque do Sol
City: Elville
City Details: a peaceful city, with few high buildings and many farms. But its citizens love sports. There you can buy some homemade products, like desserts and craft. The citizens of this city are very nice and most of the population live in the rural zone. The stadium is good. The city’s environment is protected by the government and its citizens are very linked to the nature, and have a good relationship with wild animals.
Climate: warm and wet(medium rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 60,000.
Infrastructure: ****
Will Host:
Jeruselem x Zwangzug
Estresse Intenso x Bazalonia

Arena América
City: Abadia
City Detials: this city is known for its strange division of neighborhoods. Each neighborhood has a respective leader, which represents it in the city hall. And most leaders represent a family. These families are very powerful in the city and control almost everything. The city is very big, but has some old traditions that are still unchanged. A new stadium (one of many Arena Américas of the county) will be used to hold the games. Many people say that you can see many UFOs in the sky while in Abadia, so the media call Abadia the E.T. city.
Climate: warm and wet(medium rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 100,000.
Infrastructure: *****
Will Host:
Atheistic Right x Zwangzug
Zwangzug x Ariddia
Quarterfinal 4

Olímpico Imperial
City: Lux
City Details: has the highest IDH in the country and one of the highest in the world. So, it’s considered one of the best cities to live. It has good security, education and healthcare, but nothing very interesting to tourists. The stadium is new, built to hold different sports. The Emperor himself likes to visit Lux, so he can see some games in this stadium.
Climate: cold and wet(medium rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 80,000.
Infrastructure: *****
Will Host:
Cafundéu x The Archregimancy
The Archregimancy x The HURD

Obelisco Monumental
City: Lasft
City Details: second biggest city of the country, Lasft is more beautiful than Cafundó do Juta, since it’s on the seaside. People from all around the world come to Lasft every year because of its marvelous beaches. It also is the headquarters of the CCFM. The stadium is the most beautiful of the country, with clean bathrooms and an organized restaurant, and the Empire doubled the number of seats for the World Cup, changing the appearance of the stadium completely. It’s also the capital of sports in Cafundéu.
Climate: hot and wet(medium rain probability).
Capacity: 220,000.
Infrastructure: *****
Will Host:
Cafundéu x The HURD
Wentland x Cafundéu
Oitava-de-Final (H1 x E2)
Semifinal 2

Estádio Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard
City: Espinal
City Details: tourists come to Espinal because of its big local parties. As the city is located on the seaside, its beaches are much visited too, although the government has some problems with violence. The city is also respected because of its social programs, giving assistance to the poorer citizens, and is the home of the republican leaders. But the country isn’t much important for businesses. The stadium is completely new, but not so good.
Climate: hot and wet(medium rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 60,000.
Infrastructure: ****
Will Host:
The Lowland Clans x Turori
The HURD x Wentland

Aquário Nacional
City: Submiria
City Details: Submiria is on the seaside, but has only one beach, as the other parts of the city are completely flooded (see that in the map, Submiria is on the sea). Special houses are built on these parts. The city is very interesting and has good music. It’s interesting to see the flooded parts of the city. Nearly 80% of the city’s population is of women. The stadium is located in a flooded part of the city, but there are no problems in its structure.
Climate: warm and wet(high rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 70,000.
Infrastructure: ****
Will Host:
The Archregimancy x Wentland
Ariddia x Jeruselem

Toca do Tatu
City: Central City
City Details: as the name says, this city is located in the centre of the country. It has one of the biggest airports of the country and has a chaotic traffic. As the city is located in an area of mountains, it has many tunnels. Its altitude is very high, so some players can have difficulties in playing in this city, as they can lose breath very fast. Central City is also a place where different cultures meet, so the scenery of the city can change suddenly, but it is a good place to buy a present, as there is a big variety of goods. The stadium has a modern architeture, and was expanded for the World Cup.
Climate: cold and dry(low rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 114,000.
Infrastructure: *****
Will Host:
Az-cz x Demot
Bazalonia x Az-cz
Oitava-de-Final (G1 x F2)

Presídio
City: Carandirú City
City Details: this city was very interesting in the past, but now it’s only used to hold prisoners. Cafundéu’s main police station is located there, too. It’s the prison city, but is very safe and has many exotic food shops. The stadium is located inside the main prison of the city, and most of the prisoners see the games. Outside the prison, you can see some museums about the police and the prison.
Climate: hot and dry(low rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 77,500.
Infrastructure: *****
Will Host:
Az-cz x Estresse Intenso
Demot x Estresse Intenso
Oitava-de-Final (F1 x G2)

Maracatuzão
City: Dunboor
City Details: this city is big, but it isn’t too visited by tourists, because of its very cold climate. But it’s good for the industry and has the biggest mines of the country. It’s jewelry and coal factories are the most important of the country. During the winter, it snows nearly everyday in Dunboor. The supporters there like to bring musical instruments to the stadium. It also has many theaters, and good plays are held there. The stadium is perfectly round and very beautiful. Was expanded, and completely changed.
Climate: extremely cold and dry(low rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 135,000.
Infrastructure: *****
Will Host:
Bettia x Bostopia
Bettia x The Lowland Clans
Quarterfinal 3

Estádio Pioneiro
City: São José
City Details: the oldest city of the country, São José has many historic buildings. But nowadays it doesn’t have any political importance. But has a religious importance, as it is the headquarters of most churches in Cafundéu. The stadium is very old, but is big. The infrastructure isn’t so good and there aren’t chairs for the supporters.
Climate: extremely cold and wet(medium rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 120,000.
Infrastructure: ***
Will Host:
Demot x Bazalonia
The Lowland Clans x Bostopia

C-Electronics Stadium
City: Astari
City Details: another economic centre, is the home of two of the biggest companies of Cafundéu: the C-Electronics and the Uranium Kings. Businesses are constant there and the nightlife is very good. It’s called the “city of colourful lights”, as the public lights are of many colours. Its roads are very interesting too. Most games in this stadium will be played at night. It is also the city of the best casinos of the country, where many big shows and sporting events happen.
Climate: extremely hot and wet(high rain probability).
Capacity: 80,000.
Infrastructure: *****
Will Host:
Bostopia x Turori
Turori x Bettia

Jeruselem

11-08-2007, 01:25

Dinkie: Hi, I'm Dinkie Dosha - this is the preview of the group stage on the FOOTBALL LIFE.
Kate: Yes, the best 32 teams of this cup including ourselves.

Dinkie: What's with yellow dress Kate? That's horribly bright!
Kate: Using a new detergent, makes things real shiny. OK, I put too much. I don't have red dresses anymore - they are all pink now. Happens when you aren't paying attention.

Dinkie: You do your own washing?
Kate: Me and Mum, we do our own washing. People are always stealing our things. That's we disappear for a few hours sometimes. Oh, Dinkie Dosha here is new Jeruselem captain! We all know what happened to Rashina Dallas and the Dallas clan is still coming to terms.

Dinkie: As the new Jeruselem captain, I'm going do my best to honour the memory of Rashina. She started her career with Dazza Dallas, and it's so sad she had to die under a pile of concrete.
Kate: Not to worry, as soon as we lose a Dallas girl - we make new ones! That's the way it is.

Dinkie:
Competition, Dazza Dallas is taking her family around Sel Appa. Now, she's invited another couple to come along with her, a couple with kids.

Kate:
All the details are on the JGN web site, but it's not a dodgy two bit holiday. Your family and Dazza's family including Katey girl here - are going around Sel Appa in total style. No crappy camping or cockroach infested rooms, it's all luxury. You move around a luxury coach and live in the best Sel Appan hotels. You see the best of all the nation and all have look at it's famous places. It is a Anglo-Frenchie place so it really helps if you speak English or French. Yes, you will spend two weeks in Sel Appa at Dazza's expense and I think it actually will cost about 10,000 SAP per day per person. It sounds a lot but we've got the money so don't worry. I don't a lot about Sel Appa but there seems to be a lot of commies around like in Ariddia, but the Dallas clan are a bit commie anyway. Anyway, please apply. It's going to be best holiday you can get in Sel Appa, total luxury and you get treated like a King and Queen. Just be aware you are travelling with the Dallas clan, full of crazy women like me.

Dinkie: Hey, I hear there are whores in Nemnenait?
Kate: Just add a few more when we arrive. Hey, my mother is going visit the nice people who run "THE CABBAGE" and talk about her exploding boobies too.
Dinkie: Oh yes, that article! What is there in Sel Appa which attracts people?

Kate:
I hate to sound like an ad but there's a huge fashion street on Sel Appa for the ladies. Being green compared to dustbowl Jeruselem, there's lots of rare wildlife to people to see and the food. Yeah, the food! Clean and green. There's lots of old cities after thousands of years of continous occupation, well like Jeruselem has too so we can visit these old cities. Sel Appa is very different from Jeruselem, we are a kingdom obsessed with religion but Sel Appa is officially athiest. I've lived in Ariddia so I think Sel Appa would a similar kinda place but more English as Ariddia is very very French. We are Catholics but we aren't the most well behaved ones or super-religious so we won't be religious threat. The only threat is my randy Mum.

Dinkie: Very interesting, you sure can sell a place well. Now - to the football!

<Ten minutes of totally inaccurate group predictions>

Dinkie: And finally, Group F! Jeruselem's group. In this group are Ariddia, Zwangzug and Atheistic Right.
Kate: Hey, it's Frenchie time!

Dinkie: Meaning she's picking Ariddia and Jeruselem, and so I am. Ariddia are picked up form with their female coach and well, we have one called dirty little slutty bitch Dazza Dallas.
Kate: That's my mother.

Dinkie: So Qazox got smacked with difficult Group B full of strong teams, and Bettia got nice group G including the unfortunate Bostopia. Jeruselem bump into Dazza's homeland Ariddia again.

Dinkie: I think we've covered the lot.
Kate: Yes, I think we did. Right, Razza Dazza sports gear is having a big sale - 50% of any jersey for any world Cup 36 finals team. Yes, HALF PRICE.

Dinkie: Wow! That's nice of Dazza.
Kate: Starting now. But there's more! Buy a Kate Dallas number 13 jersey, and you'll get the old Dazza Dallas number 13 free. It's the daughter and mother promotion. Buy a Hikfie Dallas jersey and you get signed rubber chicken. Why? Hikfie collects rubber things. Army guys, attention! Buy the Rashina Dallas jersey and get Jeru FC calendar free. A calendar with images of Jeru FC losing games, so much fun. Buy a Dinkie Dosha jersey and get a copy a Jewish Business Weekly free too.

Dinkie: It's all family eh?
Kate: Yeah, we just copy the Jewish model.

Dinkie: I heard your little sister Jacinta wants to be cyclist.
Kate: Well, I could have been but I love football too much. She spends a lot of time terrorising people on her new red bike. She's had a few stacks too.

Dinkie: That's it from me!
Kate: And Sur ton velo!

Qazox

11-08-2007, 04:02

New Qazian Press

WORLD CUP PREDICTIONS AND ODDS
From our resident odds-maker Bryon Higgins:

Mr. Higgins has won the last 3 Qazox Series of Poker and is a well-repected odds-maker in Qazox. He has correctly predicted the last 5 Qazox Cup champions, and this will be his 1st foray into the World Cup.

Here is a recap of Mr. Higgins' Predictions from the Qualifers (Direct Qualifers then the playoff teams): Teams listed in Blue made the World Cup (correct predicition)

Group 1: Schiavonia and Rejistania
Group 2: Milchama and Sel Appa
Group 3: Az-cz and Qazox
Group 4: Squornshelous and Atheistic Right
Group 5: Bazalonia and Bettia
Group 6: Vilita and The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus]
Group 7: Turori and Ariddia
Group 8: Oliverry and Demot
Group 9: Northern Bettia and Jeruselem
Group 10: Elves Security Forces and Tynelia
Group 11: Errinundera and The Lowland Clans
Group 12: Wentland and The Archregimancy
Playoff teams qualifiers: Swilatia, The Islands of Qutar, Bostopia, Quakmybush, Zwangzug, Assegai Developments

So of the 30 teams Mr. Higgins predicted to qualify for the World Cup, he got 25 correct for a percentage of 83.33%. Of the direct qualifers he predicted 22 out of 24 correct for a percentage of 91.17%, easily making Mr. Higgins one of the most accurate in the world at predictions.

So Mr. Higgins will bring his near-record breaking accuracy to the actual World Cup Predictions:

The odds listed after each team are the odds that that team will advance into the 2nd round of the World Cup. His predictions for 2nd round teams will be in Italics, (please Note the Host countries will be in RED

Group A
Capitalizt SLANI 4-1
Vilita 6-1
Tynelia 8-1
Jasīʼyūn 16-1

Group B
Schiavonia 3-1
Squornshelous 5-1
The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus] 5-1
Qazox 20-1

Group C
Milchama 5-1
Errinundera 7-1
Sel Appa 8-1
Quakmybush 15-1

Group D
Elves Security Forces 7-2
Oliverry 4-1
Fmjphoenix 10-1
Yafor 2 12-1

Group E
Cafundéu 6-1
The Archregimancy 4-1
Wentland 4-1
The HURD 20-1

Group F
Ariddia 3-1
Jeruselem 3-1
Zwangzug 7-1
Atheistic Right 20-1

Group G
Bettia 5-2
The Lowland Clans 5-1
Turori 8-1
Bostopia 10-1

Group H
Az-cz 3-1
Demot 6-1
Bazalonia 5-1
Estresse Intenso 25-1

And Now for Mr. Higgins' Predictions for the Knock-out rounds (predicted Winners in BOLD):

Knockout stage fixtures
Match 1: Vilita vs Elves Security Forces
Match 2: Schiavonia vs Errinundera
Match 3: Milchama vs The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus]
Match 4: Oliverry vs Capitalizt SLANI

Match 5: Wentland vs Az-cz
Match 6: Jeruselem vs The Lowland Clans
Match 7: Bettia vs Ariddia
Match 8: Bazalonia vs The Archregimancy

Quarterfinal 1: Vilita vs Errinundera
Quarterfinal 2: The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus] vs Oliverry
Quarterfinal 3: Az-cz vs Jeruselem
Quarterfinal 4: Bettia vs Bazalonia

Semifinal 1: Vilita vs Oliverry
Semifinal 2: Jeruselem vs Bazalonia

Third place match: Vilita vs Bazalonia

Final: Jeruselem vs Oliverry

(Please note the teams Mr. Higgins picks to advance, are not guarenteed to be accurate, nor are they in any way the true result of the matches. Mr. Higgins is not responsible if you lose money betting on this tourney and neither is the New Qazian Press. Bet at your own risk.)

Alasdair I Frosticus

11-08-2007, 07:11

THE MAMMOTH COMPENDIUM OF WORLD CUP LIES

WORLD CUP 36 EDITION
"In Praise of Haddock"

Group A
Capitalizt SLANI - In the UCS, the unbending application of ideological liberal freemarket economics has led to the near-extinction of the local haddock population through rampant overfishing.
Vilita - The nation of Vilita shuns the haddock as an unlucky fish of ill-omen.
Tynelia - While living in an officially atheist nation, many Tynelians secretly worship a giant intergalactic haddock called 'Thrungor the Destroyer'.
Jasīʼyūn - Pickled Korean haddock is extra-tasty with chilli and sesame oil sauce!

Group B
Schiavonia - The infamous 'haddock-slapping dance' of Schiavonia is banned on thirty continents.
Squornshelous - This nation is named after the sound that freshly-gutted haddock intestines make when they fall against the factory floor.
The Holy Empire - A giant gilded haddock dominates the throne room of the Imperial palace.
Qazox - Due to a translation error, many citizens of Qazox once believed 'haddock' was the ancient Sanskrit word for 'beautiful woman of loose morals'.

Group C
Milchama - The consumption of haddock is banned in Milchama through the strict application of traditional Jewish dietary laws.
Errinundera - The preferred food of the Errinunderan haddock is the rare fresh water aquatic wombat.
Sel Appa - The Sel Appan tourist board is planning to release a pamphlet on traditional local haddock-trapping techniques.
Quakmybush - The 'Sharks' of Quakmybush are in fact named after a particularly voracious local species of giant flesh-eating haddock.

Group D
Elves Security Forces - The ESF fought a decade-long war against a species of hyper-intelligent haddock before destroying their tormentors in the 'battle of dead fish'.
Oliverry - The French word for 'haddock' is 'Jacques Cousteau'.
Fmjphoenix - Many citizens of Fmjphoenix start their day with a tasty bowl of haddock fin soup.
Yafor 2 - Where other football teams prefer oranges and bananas, the Golden Wolves of Yafor 2 enjoy eating raw haddock during their training breaks.

Group E
Cafundéu - The haddock gut bikini is all the rage on the beaches of Cafundéu.
The Archregimancy - The famous Fr. John the Haddockite spent his entire life sitting in solitude on a column of haddock.
Wentland - It often rains haddock in Wentland.
The HURD - The robots of the HURD are actually oiled with haddock grease.

Group F
Ariddia - The indigenous Wymgani of Ariddia worship a miniature haddock called 'George'.
Jeruselem - By now, everyone must be familiar with the story involving Dazza Dallas, local rock group Zed Leppelin and a haddock. We certainly hope so, because it's far too obscene to repeat here.
Zwangzug - The ziggurat of Zwangzug is constructed entirely out of haddock heads.
Atheistic Right - Amazingly, the haddock is completely unknown in Atheistic Right.

Group G
Bettia - Consumption of fermented haddock juice is illegal in Bettia due to the Prophet's ban on alcohol; considerable quantities of haddock moonshine are nonetheless available on the black market.
The Lowland Clans - In the Lowland Clans Iron Age, many warriors wore suits of armour constructed entirely out of haddock bones.
Turori - In the nation of Turori, the God of Haddock is often invoked when an author is running out of haddocky ideas.
Bostopia - Many Bostopians train for football matches by kicking a freshly-caught haddock around the football pitch.

Group H
Az-cz - In Az-cz, the stealing of haddock is punishable by the enforced wearing of clothing.
Demot - Few people in Demot could have dreamed they would one day read the words 'dynamo' and 'haddock' in the same sentence!
Bazalonia - A diet of haddock meal gives the bazalope a particularly lustrous sheen to its coat.
Estresse Intenso - Haddock liver oil is an increasingly common medication in the Landau Institute, thanks to its soothing psychological properties.

The Archregimancy

11-08-2007, 07:31

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MONKS REFUSE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING IN CAFUNDEU
"Love of Money" Denounced as "Root of all Evil"

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association today set a new record by denouncing rampant capitalism in World Cup 36 co-hosts Cafundéu within 7.8 seconds of stepping through the dream portal to arrive in the city of Submiria, where their first match against Wentland is scheduled to take place. "Just as we pointed out earlier in the tournament, 'the love of money is the root of all evil'" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity "so we refuse to pay for anything in a country so dedicated to the unholy pursuit of profit".

MFA officials were also disturbed to discover that their first match was scheduled to take place in a city where 80% of the population consists of women, all of them no-doubt dressed in the sinful yet trendy haddock gut bikini said to be all the rage on Cafundéu's beaches this year. "It's a Catholic schismatic plot, I tell you!" said the same archimandrite, possibly a tad too predictably. "And how can the people in this country reconcile their pre-Lenten obligations with a wild orgiastic carnival? Sounds like an excuse for yet more denouncing to me!"

News has also filtered back to the Archregimancy that their first match opponents are qualifying group rivals Wentland. Reaction at both MFA and Swifts HQ is said to have been "Oh God, not that lot again".

Bostopia

11-08-2007, 13:51

The Daily Mail

Fans See Group Draw, Sulk

Today’s group draw for World Cup 36 has proved to be disappointing for Bostopia fans, after they have been drawn with Bettia, Turori and The Lowland Clans. While Bostopia have beat both Bettia (1 – 0, WC33Q) and Turori (4 – 1 on penalties, CoH 26 Semi-Final), fans are expecting a draw at best. As Bostopia have already tested themselves against T.L.C. this international period, losing 3 – 1 and then 4 – 2 at the Bostopia Stadium, it shows that for Bostopia to even have a chance of making the second round, they will need a good deal of luck.

Bostopia’s first game comes against Bettia at the Maracatuzão in the far-northern city of Dunboor. The conditions, expected to be cold but with little chance of rain will suit the Bostopian side nicely, especially the players from the northern half of the country who have colder temperatures. Central defender Karl Matthews, who of course plays for Hilltop FC, will be perfectly adept to these conditions, so the nation will be hoping for a strong performance from him.

However, the average infrastructure in the town has meant that the team will be arriving earlier than usual so that they won’t get too held up and worn out from travelling across town.

Our second game is against Turori in the C-Electronics Stadium in Astari. Fans can expect a light spectacular, both from the stadium and the surrounding city, with Astari being full of large businesses and casinos. This match, being played at night, may mean cooler temperatures, but the high chances of rain will mean that the humidity levels will probably cancel out the coolness of the night. The closest you’ll find to these sorts of temperatures in Bostopia are cities on the Bostopia Strait, such as Tatetown, home of goalkeeper Peter Jeffers. However, with him playing in Port Flamerty, he may not be as used to the temperatures as he was before.

The final game against The Lowland Clans is in the Estádio Pioneiro, in the oldest city in Cafundéu, Sao José, much like our Fort Boston for historical buildings. Younger fans will enjoy being in Sao José, with the recent upsurge in Protestantism in Bostopian youth, and Sao José being the Religious centre of Cafundéu. The Estádio Pioneiro itself has a capacity of 120,000. All standing. This will prove extremely popular with our fans, especially the older ones, who will be used to the terraces, indeed, the infamous Copping Stand at the Ranton Road stadium could well be recreated, but with red, white and blue scarves rather than the brown and white of Ranton Rovers.

For the final group standings, we expect it to be Bettia 1st, The Lowland Clans 2nd, with Bostopia perhaps sneaking 3rd place should they get lucky.

This is how we expect the other groups to finish:

A: Capitalizt SLANI, Vilita
B: The Holy Empire, Schiavonia
C: Milchama, Errinundera
D: Elves Security Forces, Oliverry
E: The Archregimancy, Wentland
F: Ariddia, Jeruselem
H: Demot, Bazalonia

World Cup Winners?

There are many strong teams out there, and while, unfortunately, there is more likelihood of an ice-cube lasting a minute in the Cafundéu sun than there is of Bostopia winning the World Cup.

So that leaves us with the rest. After looking at past results, we expect the Elves Security Forces to win the World Cup in a cracking final, beating Bettia.

Tynelia

11-08-2007, 15:21

“Hello everyone and welcome back to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s coverage of the World Cup 36 itself. That’s right, the qualifiers are over and with a last ditch sprint to the finish Tynelia managed to leap into second for the automatic qualification. I’m your hostess Dinah Miller along with Amy Wentworth. And I have to say Amy, this could be Tynelia’s best chance to move on taking a look at a decent draw for the squad.”

“Yes this is probably the easiest draw Tynelia has had in their now four qualifications. Of course the team still has some work to do being the third seed. But the second seed Vilita is only a few spots above us in the ranks so that could be a winnable match for us. While Commerce Heights will be a very difficult match which could very well end in a loss Commerce Heights JSY is one of the lower ranked teams in the cup and a match Tynelia has a very good chance of winning. It should actually all boil down to our first match with Vilita. A win here and we could be second round bound for the first time ever.”

“So does this last burst show the team is finally getting their act together? 5-1 scoring edge in the last two matches against two top 60 teams?”

“I sure hope so Dinah. The team had shown very little to that point. If they are peaking its at the right time.”

“So now I hear our sponsors want us to do a ‘pick all the groups thing’ like all these media outlets are doing for the Cup. Personally I say we wait until we finish the next top ten moment in Tynelian soccer history. What are we at number two?”

“Three Dinah, five was the TNUI 1-1 draw in WC 27, the first point off a top ten team and number four was our 2-0 win over Krytenia in WC28, the first ever win over a top twenty team.”

“Oh that’s right so let’s see the third biggest moment in Tynelian soccer history. That has to be WC33 where Tynelia’s 1-0 win over New Montreal States officially clinched our first ever World Cup qualidication.”

“Wow that’s only number 3? I can’t imagine what two and one would be. But anyway yes that was a big moment. It was too bad that interest in the sport had dropped to the point where the matches weren’t even televised at that point. It took seven tries but the team finally made it after suffering many close calls in previous years. And that was in a tough group with Bazalonia, Milchama, NMS and even Rorysville had a good run that year as well.”

“Ok Amy, guess we have to do the picks now, the producer is pulling his hair out. So I’ll do group A- our group and of course I have to take us to go along with the hosts Commerce Heights. We deserve to finally make it out of the group stage so I’m taking us to go by here in second.”

“Group B sees the Curse of 27 back again as the poor Pheonix of Qazox get stuck facing AIF- the top qualifier of the group stages, which I’m surprised didn’t end up with us and perennial powers Schiavonia and Squornshelous. I have to say AIF will get through but Dana Lee tells me Schiavonia is looking good so I’ll take them with a surprise win of the group.”

“OK Amy, group C has one of our nemesis Errinundera with Milchama.., you know everyone already knows who’s in what group so why can’t we just pick the teams? That’ll save some time too. I say Milchama and Quakmybush because they somehow always find a way to do better than everyone expects.”

“Group D has a potential bad sign for us. The Elves should take this group as well which means if your predictions about our group are right that means we’d face ESF for the third time. Down 8-2 in goals to them so far doesn’t sound very hopeful for a third meeting.”

“Yeah but third time’s the charm Amy, and you need to pick another team.”

“Oh sorry Dinah, I’ll say Oliverry, they usually make it to the knockouts.”

“Alright at the halfway point now, group E, well I know it won’t be the HURD. I think the monks will do good and go on and I think Wentland will surprise Cafundeu who have to be rusty not being able to face the same quality of competition as the other teams.”

“Group F, and the curse of 27 continue. Taking a page out of our last draw, Arridia and Jeruselem are the two top ten teams that get to beat on the poor Atheistic Right, in their first ever qualification, on their way to the next round.”

“Group G and of course I have to say Bettia is going on. But I’ll shake things up some after all Bostopia has had as tough a time as we did before finally making it and they needed the playoffs this time so I’ll give them the second spot in a very tight race for second.”

“And finally group H, Az-cz look like they will be one of the two teams, they always seem to make at least the quarters these days. Demot and Bazalonia will go right down to the wire but just in case we need a favor from the WC president I’ll take Bazalonia for the other qualifier. Are we done? Good. Those things are so boring.”

“Guess its just time to see what you think about the Vilita match then Dinah, its your turn to go first.”

“Ok, well they beat us by three points and two wins but didn’t have a single draw and got shutout by Sativaville 3-0 in their final match of the qualifiers. Plus MD1 is our best day of the Cup in the past so I say we win 2-0!”

“You’re being too optimistic; don’t forget Vilita had clinched their spot before that final day so they didn’t use their regulars very much I’m sure. Their offense is nearly twice as strong as ours is and our defense is only slightly better. Though Tynelia has played better in their last two matches I’m still not sold. A win here would be huge and convince me that the team is ready for these finals. But I’ll still play the homer card a bit here and say it’ll be a 1-1 draw even though the numbers says we should lose this one.”

“OK Amy, I think CH is going to slaughter JSY though.”

“I agree Dinah.”

“Well that’s the show for today. Tune in at the regular time for Tynelia’s opening WC 36 proper matchup with Vilita here on TSN, the Tynelian Soccer Network. Amy and I will be back with the post game show. Have a pleasant evening everyone.”

Religious brawl at Airport

As the Tynelian team made its way to Commerce Heights for their first match in this year's World Cuyp, a brawl took place between three members of the New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy and two members of the Tynelian Orthodox Church. The fight began as the NOCCORO members started blessing the players in the name of their 'Lord of scores' and the TOC members took offense. Apparently the TOC is still trying to get the NOCCORO outlawed in Tynelia will little interest from the authorities.

All five people were arrested by security and both church leaders expressed outrage over the actions of the other side while claiming their side was in the right.

Jeruselem

11-08-2007, 16:24

The Kate Dallas Blog

Hello duckies. Normally Mum would do this but I'm taking over now. The predictions for the group stage of this World Cup 36, here we go. Oh, if you want to put money on this then go ahead but I'm not responsible for any losses incurred. I'm no prophetess or super predictor so don't expect me to be right 100%.

Group A
Capitalizt SLANI (#8)
Vilita (#7)
Tynelia (#26)
Jasi'yun (#39)

On pure rankings, there's a difference between teams. I don't think Jasiyun win a game, poor them. Vilita and the capitalists will have their way but should they drop points, only Tynelia will be able to pounce. I don't think the best teams here will choke but then if any teams will choke, it will be hosts from lack of real games.

Group B
Schiavonia (#3)
Squornshelous (#13)
The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus] (#18)
Qazox (#29)

God this is one meany group. A group of death, as they say. Don't write off Qazox, they have been having a good cup. Kate is sure the Sloths are going continue their form, so who I am picking to join the third seed in the next round? I think the Holy Empire will finally do good with God on their side. Mind you Qazox should be having a go and the Squornshelous team can pull off wins even when they play rubbish.

Group C
Milchama (#6)
Errinundera (#12)
Sel Appa (#23)
Quakmybush (#31)

Actually, this one is trick to pick. Kate is picking an upset with Errinundera and Sel Appa here! Yes, the Milchama team cruised in but I think the Potoroos are playing well and the Turtles will finally show the world how good they really are. The Quaks will miss out because I don't think they have cut out to play highly ranked teams. They lost to us twice and had trouble the Fire Ants, as well as it was us who allowed them to make it this far.

Group D
Elves Security Forces (#4)
Oliverry (#16)
Fmjphoenix (#24)
Yafor 2 (#27)

Easy one! The bottom two here required playoffs just to be here and the top 2 in this group had few issues in theirs. Elves and Frenchies for me - and a reminded it was Oliverry who beat us in the quarter-final of WC35.

Group E
Cafundéu (#28)
The Archregimancy (#10)
Wentland (#19)
The HURD (#34)

This one is full of low ranked teams, lead by a bunch of monks ranked tenth. The hosts will face a nice group with Wentland who somehow got here, and the HURD who admirly fought their way through a playoff to be here. It should be Wentland and Monks, but Kate is picking the Monks and hosts because we think the cash obsessed hosts want more money.

Group F
Ariddia (#2)
Jeruselem (#9)
Zwangzug (#21)
Atheistic Right (#42)

Atheistic Right have done well to get here, but now it's the big boys including the two World Cup 32 finalists (the one we lost). Ariddia are not the best form early but got better while Jeruselem had little trouble with Northern Bettia and Quakmybush. So the top ten seeds! Mum does not want a repeat of World Cup 34.

Group G
Bettia (#1)
The Lowland Clans (#15)
Turori (#25)
Bostopia (#38)

OK! Bettia are here and well should win all games. Kelly Firth's plucky team made after removing some Fire Ants out of the system, but they face the Turori and Clans teams for that other spot. Oh, who to pick! The clans but just - Bostopia will be close but pushed out in third.

Group H
Az-cz (#5)
Demot (#14)
Bazalonia (#17)
Estresse Intenso (#45)

Estresse Intenso has done well despite it's ranking but the Gnomes, Demot and Bazalonia are a different type of opposition than in the qualifying stage. Kate predicts Demot and Bazalonia to pip out the others but not confidently.

Now, people have asked about that incident with my mother, some band and a fish called a Haddock! Firstly, we aren't family fond of fish so any use of fish in other ways is out of the question. We do live in Jeruselem, a place not renowned for it's fish apart from Jesus Christ's escapades. Admittedly my mother was a groupie at one stage, but she's no fan of fish. I think THE CABBAGE might pick up this and run with it.

See me and even Dazzi at the World Cup 36! She'll be there. Now, all I have tell her is not to bring along sharp killing weapons on the plane. Customs people don't like it. I reallly have to go now, I'm late for school. Sur ton velo!

[NS:]The HURD

11-08-2007, 16:28

From the HURDosphere, the most popular social community in the HURD.

From: Torvalds de Janeiro
Message: Heya, HURDoj. We have just received news from the group draw. The entire disaster looks like this:

Cafundéu
The Archregimancy
Wentland
The HURD

Some words to the teams: Cafundeu is high on fan support, skill and tactics. If we had GNUanoj, which could run stably for the entire 90 minutes, this would be less of a problem than it is now. Yeah, fellow programmers, there still is this nasty memory leak. probably it is like 2 or 3 bytes, which are not freed, but this will in the end of the match make our GNUanoj run into serious issues, at the moment only to be countered with a disgraceful reboot.

The Archregimancy are religious fiuloj. Religion always was the enemy of progress and thus HURDujo is an enemy of the Archregimancy in culture. I do not promise a pretty match, okay? We hope to win, and thus of course we will program the GNUanoj to a rule-adherent strategy we see fitting for that. And we will paint the atom, which is the symbol of atheism on the robots.

Wentland... we have the best chance to defeat them, but there of course is the chance that we will leave to the HURD without one single point. We do not care, we qualified and that was the mos important issue. The world champions, we will defeat in half a year!

Ĝis revido!

Sel Appa

11-08-2007, 19:23

Football Talk with Bob and Ed

Bob: "Thanks to everyone for listening now to Football Talk with Bob and Ed! Today, we're going to talk about the Group Draw for the 36th World Cup Finals in Cafundeu and Capitalizt SLANI!"

Ed: "Absolutely, Bob. You're all in for an inside look at what we think will go down during these finals."

Bob: "Let's get this started with the Capitalizt SLANI groups."

Ed: "Sure, Bob. Group A has Capitalizt SLANI, Vilita, Tynelia, and Jasīʼyūn. Ranked 7th, 8th, 26, and 39th respectively."

Bob: "Well Ed, this is a pretty interesting group. Capitalizt SLANI and Vilita are in the top ten and well above the other two teams. They should go through without much trouble at all."

Ed: "That sounds fair, here's group B: Schiavonia, Squornshelous, the Holy Empire, and Qazox. Ranked 3rd, 13th, 18th, and 29th respectively."

Bob: "We can knock off Qazox easily. Those noobs don't have much of a chance here and are quite removed in terms of rank. Schiavonia is ranked third in the world, wow. They should go through easily. It's the other slot we have to think about Squornshelous and the Holy Empire have solid, respectable teams, but I think the Holy Empire will take it."

Ed: "I have to agree there Bob. While Squornshelous have quite a team, they just don't have what it takes for this Cup. Now for our own Group C: Milchama, Errinundera, Sel Appa, and Quakmybush. Ranked 6th, 12th, 23rd, and 31st respectively."

Bob: "Let's star with our own nation, Sel Appa. We've qualified for our fourth Cup, all in a row."

Ed: "How dare those bastards draw us with Milchama again!"

Bob: "ED! Don't attack our hosts this way, it was drawn randomly. Anyway, we recently established a record with Milchama, drawing once and then losing to them at home. Still, we do have the ability to beat them with some effort. The team just has to try."

Ed: "Yeah, that's true. We played Errinundera twice in the World Cup 33 Qualifiers and lost both times, but I think at this level, we should certainly be able to take them down. They are a good side, but I'm confident we can do it."

Bob: "True dat. Then we have the Quakmybush match. Those chumps won't even realize that they just lost to a bunch of Turtles. It'll be an easy match for us."

Ed: "Yeah, anyway Milchama should also go through, but we may see Errinundera. Personally, I think it'll be Milchama and us."

Bob: "I couldn't agree more. Errinundera could go through, but I doubt it."

Ed: "Well that brings us to Group D: Elves Security Forces, Oliverry, Fmjphoenix, and Yafor 2. They are ranked 4th, 16th, 24th, and 27th."

Bob: "That's interesting. Those bloody Elves will probably get through with the Frenchies. I don't see Fmjphoenix with much chance at all."

Ed: "What a horrible group! The cursed Elves and some French-speaking bums have it too easy. Maybe we'll be lucky and see some upsets."

Bob: "Yeah but I doubt it. Let's go into the Cafundeu groups! Group E has Cafundeu, The Archregimancy, Wentland, and The HURD. They are ranked 28th, 10th, 19th, and 34th."

Ed: "I like Cafundeu. They have an excellent team that excelled pretty quickly and is now hosting their own World Cup. They definitely will go through this time."

Bob: "Definitely, Ed. I also think The Archregimancy will see the Knockouts. Wentland is a good side, but they just won't put it all together."

Ed: "And then those robots from the HURD. How can they possibly play football well enough to get into the Finals?"

Bob: "I don't know Ed, but here's Group F: number 2 Ariddia, number 9 Jeruselem, number 21 Zwangzug, and number 42 Atheistic Right."

Ed: "How the hell did that low a team get into the Finals! They are just emat waiting to be ground. Zwangzug has a slight chance, but I think we'll see Ariddia and Jeruselem go through."

Bob: "Yeah, both are fairly popular here and Jeruselem has Dazza Dallas, how can they not go through?"

Ed: "Heh"

Bob: "Group G has Bettia, who are on top of the world rankings, the Lowland Clans at 15, Turori at 25, and finally those choobs from Bostopia at 38."

Ed: "What exactly is a choob?"

Bob: "I don't know, but it sounds derogatory."

Ed: *laughs* "Well anyway, how can Bettia not head through? We should talk about whether the Lowland Clans or Turori will take the other spot."

Bob: "Personally, I see the Lowland Clans taking it. Turori has a rubbish team anyway. I wonder how they got here."

Ed: "Yeah."

Bob: "Finally we get to Group H: Az-cz at 5, Demot Dynamo at 14, Bazalonia at 17, and Estresse Intenso at 45."

Ed: "There's another team that shouldn't be here: Estresse Intenso. They should be smashed to bits by the other teams. Az-cz though has a good, solid team in the top 10. They'll take Bazalonia with them."

Bob: "Why not the Dynamo?"

Ed: "I don't like them."

Bob: "Really? I guess I could agree with you there."

Ed: "Good now let's go into the Knockouts. Capitalizt SLANI vs. the Holy Empire. This isn't even a contest. The hosts are obviously the better team."

Bob: "I guess. Anyway, Milchama plays Oliverry and those French noobs won't know what hit them. Milchama has an easy game here."

Ed: "Definitely. What's more definite is Cafundeu upsetting Jeruselem!"

Bob: "You really think that?"

Ed: "Yeah."

Bob: "Well anyway, Bettia will take down Az-cz in extra time."

Ed: "I think there might be a penalty shootout there, actually. I hope Schiavonia trounces Vilita and goes the the Quarters."

Bob: "I agree. I also want to see our Turtles rip the Elves up."

Ed: "YES! I would love that. I really think we have a good shot this Cup at making the Quarters. Ariddia, who are like the best team other than our own, will chop up the Archregimancy."

Bob: "Good, I hope so. Ariddia is a great team and I like them a lot also. Az-cz will have some trouble defeating the Lowland Clans in extra time, maybe penalties."

Ed: "I love the Quarters. It's a place to see surprise teams do their best. Cohost Capitalizt SLANI should give Milchama a good thrashing and get to the Semifinals."

Bob: "Yeah, and I think Bettia will smash the other cohost's dreams of getting too far, but at least they will make the Quarterfinals."

Ed: "Certainly. Now here's our match against Schiavonia. We've lost thrice to them, but that doesn't mean anything. We might see an upset here, but at least we made it to the Quarters."

Bob: "Yeah, at least they tried. Ariddia will leave Az-cz behind in a long match. Could see some penalties here."

Ed: "That works. Bettia should take down the remaining cohost's dreams and head into the final."

Bob: "That's interesting. I think Ariddia will take out Schiavonia and earn their final spot."

Ed: "Yeah, the third place match will have Capitalizt SLANT taking the bronze over Schiavonia. They will have earned it as 3rd best."

Bob: "Well, I favor Schiavonia there, but again we see an Bettia-Ariddia final. I'll go with Ariddia here. They have a formidable team and are due this rematch."

Ed: "I couldn't agree more on that or the fact that our time is up."

Bob: "Oh yeah, well we'll see all you listeners tomorrow as the group stage commences!"

Milchama

11-08-2007, 23:46

"Hey dude the World Cup is starting!"

"Whoa when did this happen?"

"Don't know sometime while we were in Az-Cz or Han"

"Crazy Asians not having readable papers it makes everything harder"

"Agreed"

"So anyway who are we playing, what is happening, etc?"

"We play Sel Appa, Errinundera, and Quakmybush"

"Where are they ranked?"

"Below us, we were a seeded team!"

"That's awesome"

"I know, so that means we're going to win all our matches right?"

"Not necessarily we will need help from the gods"

"Margaret?"

"No Alohim our great god"

*30 minutes of Jewish prayer later*

"Let us hope that that is enough"

"Agreed"

Qazox

12-08-2007, 01:31

Football Talk with Bob and Ed
...
Bob: "We can knock off Qazox easily. Those noobs...

Reply from the head of the QSF (Qazox Sports Federation):

NOOBS??? Who the heck are your TV guys calling a NOOB?

I mean you can call us underachivers or playing to their rank or chokers.. but NOOBS?

You sirs are the defintion of NOOB and I know NOOBS.

Qazox has been around for 10 Cups.. You.. who cares...you freaking NOOBS

Vilita

12-08-2007, 08:03

Skee-rooed

Just when Jungle Cat Fans thought they had something going for them, they saw the group draw.

Sure, on paper, they should still be able to advance to the second round, but, on paper, they should advance to the second round in any group. The fact that they've only done that about, twice, in the past 15 cups will tell you differently however. Despite being regular qualifiers for the finals, Vilita has only twice gone the distance, once all the way to the finals in World Cup 20, and the other time, a recent but lackluster defeat in the third place playoff. The Jungle Cats are hanging by a thread but there is still fight left in these claws, despite being stuck in the only group with two top-10 KPB Ranked nations competing against each other. Vilitan officials were not thrilled when learning that despite the 8 group format, two teams ranked inside the top 8 would be playing each other, but, on the brightside, wins against Tynelia and jasiy-un could see the Jungle Cats safely through to the second round. Should they fail to win the group however, a likely match up with World Cup Favorites and rival Elves Security Forces would await, emphasizing the importance of Victory over the home nation.

Elsewhere in the draw, Turori will get the chance to re-ignite old rivalries with Bettia and The Lowland Clans, and kick start new rivalries with Bostopia who currently cower at the bottom of the group wishing they were playing in the Cup of Harmony about now.

Bostopia

12-08-2007, 13:54

Midway through a Bostopian press conference in Cafundéu

Hayley Reanfeld stands up to ask a question, paying off a citizen of Cafundéu in the process.

[Reanfeld] Hayley Reanfeld, Channel 9, Kelly, the Vilitan press has claimed that Bostopia were “wishing they were playing in the Cup of Harmony about now.” How would you respond to that?

[Firth] Well, we’ve already won the Cup of Honour, and, while it’s still a very honourable competition and I don’t want to take away from it, it’s nowhere near the same stage or spectacle as the World Cup. It’d be like winning the Championship Cup every year but going out early in the Association Cup for a league team. Again, both are great cups but every football fan in the country knows which tournament they’d rather win, and that’s the same for the national team. We’d rather be in the World Cup every year and have a chance of winning, no matter how small, rather than being in the Cup of Harmony and not having a chance of winning the World Cup.

Bazalonia

12-08-2007, 15:22

"Land Associated Press Brings you ... 'On the Land'"

"Welcome to 'On the Land', I'm your host Barry Broomfield. Today we'll look at Haddocks and their use in commercial farming of Bazalope. We'll cross to Graham Frederikson for this story."

"The humble Haddock, a fish that not very many people know or really care about but if anyone had been keeping up on the World Cup of Soccer thern, they'd probably would have heard of this book." *Holds up a book that he had in his hand that was off camera, it was the World Cup Compendium of Lies, WC36 Edition.*

"In this book, published by the Holy Empire of the Dreamed Realms. It states that, and I quote. 'A diet of haddock meal gives the bazalope a particularly lustrous sheen to its coat.' Now, we have head of Bazalonian Farmers Federation Ian Kellar, to give us the facts about Haddock and Bazalopes."

*Graham is seen walking in a farm* "Now, if only I could find him."

*Ian is there with what appears to be a pet Bazalope*

"Oh, Good to meet you Ian."

"You too, Graham, What can I do for you?"

"Well, you can answer me a question, Do you use Haddock Meal and what do you use it for?"

"Actually yes, Not only is it great for the coats, the natural omega 3 fish oil and many other natural components of the haddock make it great for not only a Bazalope's coat but overall health and quality of the meat."

"How wide spread is the use of Haddock meal in the Bazalope meat industry?"

"Fairly wide-spread, Bazalope meat is nationally regarded as the best red meat available on the market, I think part of this is due to natural food suppliments like Haddock Meal."

"Are there any health or other concerns in the usage of Haddock meal suppliments?"

"No, we use Haddock Meal in place where other industries use Anti-biotics and selected Hormones. Haddock Meal is a much better alternative for the Bazalope."

"So, You'd say Haddock meal is a vital part of modern Bazalope farming."

"Too right."

"Thank you."

[NS:]The HURD

12-08-2007, 15:42

TO: Football Association of The HURD
FROM: Northern Bettia National Lottery Commission

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Every month, we hand out billions of Groats in cash prizes,
and today YOU have been selected from our vast client database
as a prizewinner!

We have 86,000 NS-Dollars waiting for you in our private vaults,
and in order to receive your prize money, all you need to do is to
reply to this email with your bank account number, sort code, and
any security questions you may have set up so that we may wire
you the monies quickly and efficiently!

HURRY! THIS OPPORTUNITY WON'T LAST LONG!!!

REPLY NOW!!!!!

Torvalds de Janeiro looked at the mail surprisedly. It is seldom that INFRASTRUCTURE does let things through, maybe it is from a credible source... he pondered something and then replied.

Subject: Re: CONGRATULATIONS!!

I have some questions for you regarding this
lottery. First of all: what is a lottery? How
do you work? What is an NS-Dollar? Why
does one need them? Also, we have not
quite figured out what a bank account is.
INFRASTRUCTURE told us that it was
something from the Economy 1.0 and very
COBOL-ish.

Yours sincerely,
Torvalds de Janeiro

Cafundeu

12-08-2007, 19:52

And the RP cutoff comes, and the World Cup begins!

UCS Groups - Matchday 1 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12959773&postcount=22)

Cafundéu Groups - Matchday 1 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12959745&postcount=21)

Rejistania

12-08-2007, 22:50

OOC: Sorry, I was logged in as my puppet and think deleting the post will disturb the reading more than just a short comment. This posting it for The HURD!

IC:

From the HURDosphere, the most important HURDist community on the Internet:

GNUbot: I attempted to get into the stadium, but they need these weird paper slips to get into it - and INFRASTRUCTURE is notoriously bad in providing weird pieces of paper, other nations’ associations/governments/cooperations want for something. It really annoys me if people insist on pieces of paper instead of letting a clever system like our HURDist INFRASTRUCTURE AI do the work. Meh! I watched the match at a public viewing location in Cafundeu. From my amateurish point of view, there was more than home advantage involved- The GNUs would not care about this anyways. I think the 0:2 also did not come from the simple fact that the GNUs are still beta. I think there was some serious tempering going on. Or maybe it was just the fact that the GNUs can not be shielded well against electromagnetic radiation and the cameras or some form of devices interfered with links. She just so much not lived up to the expectation. Okay, the defense was not that good as well, but c'mon, we expect that. However links normally is able to do a lot to prevent embarassing goals against us. Today however the reactions of the bot were slow, slower than you would expect from a GNUbot. Call me crazy, mad, gullible, borderline-insane or comment on me wearing a tinfoil hat, but take the different times into account, which links and maybe firefox as well needed to react. The video will be up on www.theorahosting.hurd ASAP.

Cafundeu

12-08-2007, 23:33

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 36 COVERAGE – FROM LASFT, CAFUNDÉU
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE EXPECTED START

http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/3833/torcidaflamengo800x600pj2.jpg
The supporters do a show in the stadium, helping the team

Automatically qualified for the World Cup, Cafundéu didn’t have to play in the qualifiers, playing just small friendlies during that time. So, the supporters were anxious to see the Monopolists playing the first game in the World Cup 36 group stage, against the worst team of the group, composed by the robots of The HURD. The supporters were considering it an easy game, but, after a difficult first half, the excitement wasn’t so big. But, playing an excellent second half, Cafundéu could show its power at home.

The place was the Obelisco Monumental, the biggest stadium of the country, the best one to start a cup. After more than a hour of shows, with music and other exhibitions, fireworks and speeches, the game showed a tactical Cafundéu, with young and talented players. In the end, the result was expected, and gave some confidence to the team, which will try to qualify for the second stage at all costs. The next game is against the monks of The Archregimancy.

THE GAME

When the announcer started to say the names of Cafundéu’s players, the supporters reacted shouting their names, starting with the goalkeeper Júnior and ending with the coach Júlio Vargas. The most applauded players were the midfielder Anormal, the midfielder Dário and the attacker Heitor. The HURD’s players entered in the field, but nobody reacted negatively. When the game started, The HURD had a more defensive attitude, while Cafundéu attacked a lot. Read Breno Gavião:

“And herrrrre comes Cafundéu. Playing the Worrrrrld Cup at home, surrrrrounded by supporterrrrrs. The playerrrrrs arrrrrive to starrrrrt the show. No surrrrrprrrrises in the line-up. The best playerrrrrs of the countrrrry will play. Including the experrrrrienced Anorrrrrmal and Heitor, the fast Léo Mattos, the technical Dário, the lethal Flecha and the young starrrrr Rrrrrato! Want a good place to eat? Go to Churrrrrascarrrrria Boi Monstrrrrro, wherrrre you can eat a lot!”

The first attacks of Cafundéu were good, but not sufficient to score goals. Anormal shot from outside the area, and links saved. Minutes after, Dário crossed the ball to the area, Chico Serra headed and the goalkeeper saved. The rebound went to Heitor, who shot to try to score, but it hit dillo’s hand and left the playing field. The players complained, wanting a penalty, but the referee ignored them. The HURD tried to reply, but with very poor attacks. The best one was started by firefox, but in the end, his shot went wide.

Cafundéu continued much better in the game, pressing The HURD in the last minutes of the first half. In one attack, Léo Mattos prepared an excellent counterattack, giving the ball to Flecha. The attacker shot, and the ball hit the bar. In the injury time, Barbosa crossed the ball to the area, the defender cleared. Anormal shot the rebound, and the ball hit the hand of dillo again. This time, Orlarí saw the penalty kick. Heitor went to take it but, unfortunately, he sent the ball wide. So, the first half ended in a goaless draw. Read Breno Gavião:

“It is prrrrrobably the last play of the game, and the ball is with Barrrrrbosa. He crrrrrosses, bobcat heads the ball. Anorrrrrmal with the rrrrrebound, he will scorrrrre... penalty! The ball hit dillo’s hand! Penalty kick for Cafundéu! Heitor is the one that will take it. Now is the chance to finish the firrrrrst half winning the game, to calm down the team. It is imporrrrrtant to win this firrrrrrst game. Heitor will take it, shoots... wide! He missed!”

http://img481.imageshack.us/img481/5413/279196lx0.jpg
Léo Mattos, no.2, attacks during the first half

For the second half, Vargas made one change in the team searching for a more offensive style of play. Neto entered in Barbosa’s place. Two GNUs had problems in the dressing room and had to be substituted too. In the beginning of the second half, Cafundéu used the ability of it midfield to score the first goal. After a good change of passes, Heitor passed the ball to the young Rato, who invaded the area, dribbled two defenders of the opponent team and shot to score the first goal, dedicating it to the supporters. Read Breno Gavião:

“Rrrrreaching the tenth minute, still zerrrrro goals. But the midfield starrrrrts to worrrrrk. Ball with Anorrrrrmal, passes it to Toninho. Neto asks for it, drrrrribbles an opponent. One-two with Dárrrrrio. The ball now goes to Heitor... Beautiful pass to Rrrrrato, now in the arrrrrea. Drrrrribbles bobcat, now faces w-thrrrrree-m... another drrrrribble, it’s time to shoot... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! I wanna see the replay! Rrrrrato, number seven! Cafundéu one, The HURD zerrrrro!”

The first goal was all that the supporters were expecting. But Cafundéu needed to control the result to get the three points. The HURD’s robots tried to attack more, but the Monopolists were controlling the midfield well. In one chance, konqueror was able to invade the hosts’ area, but Eduardo Monte appeared well to clear the danger. Minutes after, abrowse took a free kick made by Chico Serra, but he sent the ball over the bar. Cafundéu replied with two long ranged shots. One from Anormal, saved by the keeper, and other by Neto, which went wide.

The game wasn’t decided, and it was Cafundéu’s responsibility to decide it. So, the coach Júlio Vargas continued with an offensive strategy and ordered the team to attack. Tales got the rebound after a missed free kick and shot, but the defence blocked the ball. In other play, Rato dribbled two opponents and passed the ball to Heitor, who missed the goal. Only in the last minutes the goal happened. Toninho crossed the ball to the area, and Rato shot the ball to score the goal and secure the win. Read Breno Gavião:

“Two minutes for the end of the game, although the rrrrreferrrrre can add some minutes if he wants. One for Cafundéu, zerrrro for The HURD! The firrrrrst victorrrrry in this Worrrrrld Cup edition, a good starrrrrt in the grrrrroup stage. Now Toninho with the ball, rrrrrreaches the end of the left wing. Crrrrrosses the ball to the arrrrrea... Rrrrrato... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! In the last minutes! Rrrrrato, number seven! Cafundéu two, The HURD zerrrrro! Cakes, desserts and etecetera, you find in Padaria JáTemPão!”

AFTER THE GAME

After the winning start in the World Cup, the coach Júlio Vargas talked with the media: “The first half was complicated but, after we scored the first goal, the team was able to keep a good performance and get this important victory, If we win another game, we’ll be qualified, so it’s good to keep the good form. I’m confident that this team can qualify and maybe reach a better campaign than the one of World Cup thirty-four, when we reached the second stage.”

The best player of the game, Rato, talked with the excited reporters too: “A good and necessary start in the World Cup. We are preparing ourselves to qualify for the second stage at home. We have the help of our supporters, and with them we can continue winning.” The midfielder Barbosa said: “We didn’t play in the qualifying stage, but we trained hard to play the World Cup here. After all, we need to make a good campaign at home. We have a good strategy, good players and a coach that knows how is to be a player.”

On another note, The Archregimancy’s players had some problems in Submiria before the game. After deciding to not pay for nothing, they had to walk to reach the stadium, didn’t eat before it, and had problems to leave the city too. But, after these initial problems, the situation seems solved. A monastery in Lux accepted to give asylum for the players, who will have something to eat and a place to sleep and make their prayers there. The monastery doesn’t make contact with the media, so we couldn’t discover more things about that.

http://img481.imageshack.us/img481/1949/01082345100rm9.jpg
Rato commemorates last goal of the game

CAFUNDÉU 2x0 THE HURD

Place: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft.
Attendance: 220,000 people.
Referee: Dino Orlarí (Bettia).
MOTM: Rato (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Chico Serra; Anormal, Barbosa (Neto 45’), Rato and Dário (Carioca 80’); Flecha (Tales 68’) and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_hurd.png THE HURD: links (lynx 45’), dillo, w3m, bobcat and arachne; epiphany (epiphany 45’), abrowse, w3 and ubrowser (ubrowser 90’); firefox and konqueror
Coach: that... in the bench.

Goals:CAF: Rato 54’/88’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against The Archregimancy: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Barbosa, Rato and Dário; Flecha and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.
Style of +3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

2- Rato

Jeruselem

13-08-2007, 01:09

Dinkie Dosha and Kate Dallas in her school uniform

Dinkie: Hi, I'm Dinkie Dosha and this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE!
Kate: And I'm just a visiting schoolgirl

Dinkie: Well, Kate Dallas is actually a schoolgirl. She's only 14 years old.
Kate: I even bring my schoolwork along when I play football. Actually, I have no choice.

Dinkie: Game 1 of the group stages. We're not going cover all the games, just the ones that matter to Jeruselem.
Kate: Otherwise, we'll be here talking all day.

Dinkie: Firstly, our Moslem friends Bettia played Kelly Firth's Bostopia in Group G. It looked like a huge mismatch, and it was. Bettia smashed poor old Bostopia FIVE ONE but then we are talking about the World Champs here.
Kate: Yes, who needs defense when you have System Takil! A nasty blow the to the hopes of the fans of Kelly Firth and their hopes of making the second round. We expect Bettia to win all it's games.

Dinkie: Group B where the Pheonix hope to fly against the Sloths!
Kate: Well, Schiavonia had a rocket launcher and sent Qazox crashing down in screaming heap. Looks like Isla Blige and her teammates are looking like the goods in their group like we predicted.

Dinkie: Yes, this is the Group stage and there's no wimpy teams in here. Everyone here is a capable winner on the day.
Kate: Yes, having a bad day at this stage is not the thing.

Dinkie: Now to Group F, Kate's friends Ariddia did the business and pushed aside Atheistic Right TWO NIL as they should.
Kate: Yes, Ariddia are looking like their old selves again. They aren't Bettia but they are winners.

Dinkie: Now for our game against Zwangzug. You tell them Kate.
Kate: No no, you're the team captain! You tell them.
Dinkie: NIL ALL ...
Kate: Well, at least we didn't lose!

Dinkie: Yes, we should have won. There was several times I should have done a lot better, but I messed it all up.
Kate: The other strikers didn't do much better, the ZwangZug team held out with a mighty effort as we tried to strike the winning goal.

Dinkie: That keeper kept on getting in the way, but that's why they are their.
Kate: Eh, more like a post magnet - Dinkie hit the crossbar three times. That's the ball did, not Dinkie's head.

Dinkie: You didn't do much
Kate: I was benched all game!

Dinkie: Oh, sorry - that was Hikfie I was supposed to refer to.
Kate: I didn't play because of a tummy upset I picked up yesterday. No one wants to see me puke on the pitch do they?

Dinkie: So why are wearing a school uniform today?
Kate: Everything else is in the washing.

Dinkie: Well, anyway - Jeruselem had a draw. we need a win from the game against Atheistic Right and then the big game against Ariddia. He hope Ariddia will beat ZwangZug next game to make things easier for us. If that happens, all we need is a draw against Ariddia but a win would be better.
Kate: Ariddia vs Jeruselem, the clash of Ariddians! Dazza vs err damn

Dinkie: I can't remember either but both are female and Ariddian.
Kate: So don't miss the Jeruselem vs non-believers game. If lose that, well - err - that's not going to happen. Right Dinkie? She's still upset Rashina is gone.

Dinkie: Poor Dazza, she spends time sitting looking at Rashina's jersey hanging up in the dressing room. She hangs it there even if there's no Rashina.
Kate: Yes, Rashina and Dazza started around World Cup 29 and grew up together. She misses her niece a lot and she's still grieving.

Dinkie: Well, for my sake no. Your mother gets quite upset if don't make the second round.
Kate: That's it from us. AND Sur ton velo!

Bazalonia

13-08-2007, 02:24

A Transcript from the World Cup Radio Show with Darren and Darryl...

"Unified Capitalizt States, it's almost like one of those party's where you are not sure if someone has slipped something into your drink, and during the world cup it's now a carnival of horrors... Nah"

"The Bazalopes, who obviously had their Haddock meal today, took on the Higher Ranked team"

"Only Slightly.. the two teams are only 3 or 4 ranks different, hardly any in a compeition like this."

"But still it was a hard match.

"oh, yeah, right."

"The teams where even-stevens for the majority of the match, only a Demotite goal.."

"It's Demotian"

"Right, Demotite."

"Okay, first to our Demotian friends, If any are listening... HELP ME!"

"You alright now?"

"Yes fine thanks."

"The Demotians broke the deadlock in the 21st minute with a goal."

"Who made it?"

"No Idea."

"Do you know when the Bazalopes scored a goal?"

"Yes, 1 minute later."

"Do you who scored that?"

"Nope."

"Or that other goal?"

"No idea."

"So who scored the goal?"

"Yes, he did."

"What?!"

"No he's the keeper."

"Ah, I get you now."

"Now's the captain, don't you know anything!"

"That's it for us at the World Cup Radio Show."

"Aren't you going to tell them who actually scored the goals."

"Nope, it's not like we are an actual news service, alright. Though Kant did sore both of them."

"He didn't play."

"Oh didn't he?"

"Nope he didn't."

"That's all for us from the UCS. Have a good night."

Elves Security Forces

13-08-2007, 05:01

Elven Times
Fire Up The Train

It might be a bit preumptious, but I'm telling all of you Marauders fans to prepare to be celebrate lavishly, as the squad looks well on their way to finally bringing home the title after entering this preistegious tournament those thirty-eight years ago. After finishing as the fourth best side in qualification, erie if you think about it and their world ranking, the squad dispatched Yafor 2 yesterday afternoon and are but a win away from raking in a spot in the Round of Sixteen. With the french style people of Oliverry on the agenda, it will be a relatively difficult challange for the Marauders to secure that place, but with the form and skill of this group of players, it will be a challange that will be overcome with ease. With Fmjphoenix rounding out the fixture list, you can bet your life savings that the Elves will be through and with class.

This squad really has grown into one of the premier federations in the world, and to make it all the sweeter, they play the beautiful game the way it is supposed to be played. Wide open attacking football with goals of plenty coming from their side and an amazing defence that concedes less than a goal a match. This attractive style of play has won them supporters from the world over, most notably in countries like Az-cz and Bostopia. However, they have developed their fair share of hated rivals, like the Sel Appans and Turori people, but have enough maturity and class about themselves and the pride in their nations to rise above these would distractions. Their dicipline could be the key to their success as the squad has managed just a mere thirty two cautions and four ejections in their thirty-eight years of international football at the highest stage, and usually are amongst the leaders in the tournament with the least fouls committed. This is very reflective upon the domestic leagues in the nation, as matches average 1.3 cautions and 17.2 fouls committed.

There could be a slight concern for the Marauders, as they did have a great deal of difficulty breaking through the Yafor 2 defence despite 72% possession. It took abit of luck for the squad to finally get the breakthrough, and it was when Fresco had sent a shot in from a severe angle that defelcted off the defender but fell a step ahead of the deadly Kiso Night in the six yard box where he reacted quickly enough to blast it in before the keeper could adjust his footing and make the save with 88:43 showing on the clock. However, these late minute heroics will no doubtedly just build more lore onto the growing exploits of the young striker, and with presumingly at least a thousand more years of his prime footballing career ahead of him, barring some career ending injury, this lad could end up with all the scoring records when he is through. Never before have I seen such a scoring touch and ability to read and play the game, and to find it in a person, much less an elf, soo young is a very good treat. My only regret is that I likely wont be around with this great footballer finds all of his gifts and perhaps turn into the greatest player to have ever played the beautiful game. For now, all of us Marauder supporters, espicially those devout ones in the Navy Wave, will have to be content in watching him do his business, and hopefully leading this deserving side to the title match and bringing that historic trophy to the Hatire Memorial, where it will be a welcome addition to an already historic footballing tradition.

Elves Security Forces 1
Kiso Night (89)

Yafor 2 0

Scorers
Kiso Night 11
Laborious Hawk 10
Nikali Rikard 7
Xanxz 5
Jere Jannian 4
Anti Fresco 2
Cristi Kries 2
Rick Cuellar 1

Schedule
Proper
MD1: ESF-Yafor 2 1-0
MD2: ESF-Oliverry
MD3: ESF-Fmjphoenix

Qualifying
MD1: ESF v Kampfers 2-0
MD2: Tylero v ESF 0-2
MD3: ESF v Assegai Developments 3-1
MD4: ESF v Ad'ihan 3-0
MD5: Tynelia v ESF 1-5
MD6: ESF v Aurendia 6-0
MD7: The Sons of a Monkey v ESF 0-1
MQF: Elves Security Forces v Squornshelous 4–1
MD8: Kampfers v ESF 0-3
MD9: ESF v Tylero 0-1
MD10: Assegai Developments v ESF 1-4
MD11: Ad'ihan v ESF 0-3
MD12: ESF v Tynelia 3-1
MD13: Aurendia v ESF 0-0
MD14: ESF v The Sons of a Monkey 6-1

Article by Luna Santapa

Qazox

13-08-2007, 05:06

New Qazian Press

Pheonix Cut-Down in World Cup Opener

Schiavonia proved on the field why they are one of the better teams in the world as they out-classed Qazox 3-0 in the World Cup Opener for both teams. The Sloths proved to be anything but sloth-like as they ran the younger Pheonix up and down the pitch. Chris Howard was brilliant in net for Schiavonia, while Horatio Konstantopolous and Frank Lewis just flat-out dominated Hank Hunker, John Grunder, and Juan Torres in the attacking area.
Juan Torres was called for a yellow card in the 22nd for pulling down Lewis and within minutes, the Sloths took full advantage as Konstantopolous slipped one past John Freel to make it 1-0.

The second Sloths goal came in the 37th minute when John Grunder was beaten on a long crossing pass from James Hogan to Frank Lewis who sliced it into the net from 15 yards out. The final goal came when Lewis just slipped behind Hank Hunker on a corner kick and gave the Sloths a 3-0 lead in the 52nd minute.

Up next for the Pheonix is The Holy Empire/Alasdair I Frosticus, who drew with Squornshelous 3-3 earlier in the day. Qazox needs to somehow get a win to have any chance at moving on to the 2nd round. The big upset ofthe day was Oliverry 0–2 Fmjphoenix.

Match Summary:
22' YC Qazox: Juan Torres
26' Goal: Schiavonia- Horatio Konstantopolous
37' Goal: Schiavonia- Frank Lewis
52' Goal: Schiavonia- Frank Lewis

Shots:
Schiavonia: 17
Qazox: 4

Corners:
Schiavonia: 9
Qazox: 2

FOULS:
Schiavonia: 4
Qazox: 5

Squornshelous

13-08-2007, 05:45

Squornshelous was unable to play well enough on defense to protect the lead they opened up over The Holy Empire in their first match of World Cup 36, held in Noka, United Capitalizt States. The Pschychoes came out charging, powered by an early goal from Roman Svoboda. With just six minutes gone, Squornshelous had a free kick in good position about thirty meters out. Emil Jalmari's shot was parried by Andrew Dalassano, but the ball came right to the feet of Svoboda, who put it away, no trouble.

Squornshelous struck again twenty minutes later when Jalmari got a chance to redeem his earlier shortfall. Pertti Vilho was cornered by two defenders and fed a little drop pass to Emil, who was in some space, due to the double team. The shot, fired from about 25 meters, started heading wide but curved around Dalassano to the bottom corner.

Just before the half was when trouble started brwing for Squornshelous. A well put together counterattack by the Imperials resulted in a quick goal for Photius Orphanotropho.

Squornshelous seemed to regain their control of the match after the break, keeping possession for most of the next fifteen minutes, culminating in a 57th minute goal by Tauno Reimanen. Jalmari sent Njord Fridtjof on an overlapping run down the right side and Fridtjof in turn sent Svoboda down the the corner. Reimanen found his way to the perfect spot for the cross leaving Dalassano no chance at his header.

Play was bogged down in midfield for much of the remainder of the match, but for a space of about ten minutes, the Pschychoes completely lost their focus. From about the 75th to 85th minutes, Squornshelous had almost no possession and were chasing frantically at Imperial players who suddenly looked at ease and well practiced.

Manuelo Choniates scored at 80 minutes, knocking the Pschychoes back on their heels. They seemed to lose their focus, and just three mintes later, Constantine Porphyrogenito, who had been subbed on for Juan Tzetzes earlier in the half after Tzetzes picked up a yellow card for dissent, scored the tying goal on a horrible miscommunication in which both Gunnar Jonsson and Pauli Aimo went for Basil Synadenuso, who had possession. Synadenuso made the quick pass to Porphyrogenito, who had all the space and time he could have asked for.

Manager Jan Jorgenson has already announced one change for our next match against Schiavonia, which we will certainly need to get at least one point out of. Kustaa Paavalianen, 28 years old with one World Cup, albeit spent mostly on the bench, under his belt, will start in goal for the Pschychoes. Jorgenson insists that this is not a performance based change, but is intended to give Wirmann, no spring chicken at 36 years of age, a chance to rest more thoroughly for the final match of the group stage against Qazox.

Kustaa is on the inside track for the top keeper position on the Pschychoes World Cup 37 team and a good performance against a class side like Schiavonia would go a long way toward making that a reality. We do not anticipate any changes on defense just yet, but it would not be surprising to see. The attack played fairly well, so it is likely it will remain unchanged for the next match.

MD1: Squornshelous 3-3 The Holy Empire @ Noka Communications Stadium, Noka
MD2: Schiavonia vs Squornshelous @ JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo
MD3: Squornshelous vs Qazox @ Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag

Alasdair I Frosticus

13-08-2007, 08:20

HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

IMPERIAL SQUAD IN DRAMATIC COMEBACK AGAINST HADDOCK INNARDS
Philosophy Fans Disappointed

By Anna Comneno

With thousands of Imperial philosophy fans given permission to travel to Ordinary Reality for the World Cup finals last night, disappointment must have been rife when they discovered that, due to a bureaucratic error, no one had bothered to tell the Imperial Philosophy League that the Holy Empire was participating in a football world cup, and that the philosophical stance of the qualifiers was entirely a front.

The small number of Imperial football fans in attendance, on the other hand, were expecting another easy match for the Empire following the Imperial squad's devastating attacking form in World Cup qualification. Expectations were even higher when they discovered that their opponents were named after the sound that freshly-gutted haddock innards make when falling against the factory flaw (or so claimed the perhaps slightly dubious Mammoth Compendium of World Cup Lies).

Unfortunately, the Pschychoes of Squornshelous proved to be actually really rather quite good, much to the chagrin of the dedicated Imperial fans waving inflatable gilded haddocks over their heads. Goals from Jalmari, Emil and Reimanan - only interrupted by a fine counterattacking goal from Orphanatropho - had the Empire on the rack at 3-1 down after 60 minutes. Yet the Imperial squad didn't achieve the best record in qualifying for nothing, and two dramatic goals from Choniates and substitute Porphyrogenito in the last ten minutes salvaged an unlikely draw.

Officials from the Holy Empire Football Association were quick to point out that they expect nothing less than a win against the Sanskrit-illiterate and bizarrely misspelled Pheonix of Qazox in their next match. "With Schiavonia to play in the final match, only a win will do" said a source close to the squad.

The team are believed to changed to a diet of freshly-squeezed haddock juice prior to the Qazox crunch match.

The Archregimancy

13-08-2007, 08:35

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

THE POST-MATCH PRESS CONFERENCE
Live from Submiria

With Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"....quite possibly the most boring match in World Cup history, Fr. John. By my count, the Archregimancy and Wentland between them managed 3 off-target shots between them over the entire 90 minutes. Wasn't this realistically just a fix to make sure that both teams had the best possible chance of making it through to the second round?"

"I categorically deny that outrageous accusation, my son. Look, Wentland are quite possibly the most tactically negative team in football. Both squads are also intimately familiar with each other's strengths and weaknesses after the qualifiers. Add to that the fact that most Archregimancy players come from monasteries located in the desert or the vast arctic wastes, and simply aren't used to the humid conditions of Submiria.... We'll have to adapt, I know, but under the circumstances I don't think anyone was expecting a goal-fest, were they? Next!"

"Yes, Fr. John... there's been some concern that the Monastic Football Association's refusal to pay for anything in Cafundéu may be handicapping the team... for example, the squad had to walk to the stadium and weren't able to eat anything prior to the match - any comments?"

"And why should we pay? Are we not guests in this nation? Is it for us to surrender to the soul-destroying worship of mere money that obssesses Cafundéu? Are not the World Cup hosts under an obligation to respect our unique cultural traditions? Look, we're doing our best to adapt. We didn't complain - well not too much, anyway - about the fact that 80% of the population of this city of sin are women. The least the locals can do is respect our traditions of poverty and opposition to the worship of Mammon and give us free bus tickets to the stadia. Fortunately, and somewhat to our surprise, it turns out that there's a canonical Orthodox monastery in Lux, and the squad have been given refuge by our brothers, God be thanked."

"Can you tell us anything about this monastery, Fr. John?"

"No. Nor would I want to. That's all I have time for today. God bless you all!"

Az-cz

13-08-2007, 10:44

Amda-Mo: Well that's a nice start, beating Estresse Intenso 2-0.

Lur-Mn: Indeed it is. But for the team to prove Il-Lur's and many other people's predictions wrong they still have some more work to do.

Amda-Mo: Were you suprised that the offense got two goals against an Estresse Intenso team who's defense had been so strong?

Lur-Mn: Just a little bit. But Pizelkaxrovsky and Kn-Dg were on fine form and the rest of the players fed off that. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. After watching Kn-Dg's goal in the 29th minute they were all waiting for a chance like his. Ca-Fu got a goal off the rebound by paying attention to what the offense was doing. That's how the 3-7-0 is supposed to work?

Amda-Mo: And the defense?

Lur-Mn: Hard to say. Estresse Intenso is a good team but their offense is not the best. We'll certainly learn more as we face our good friends from Demot.

Amda-Mo: Let's talk about that game. They're needing to beat us at this point to keep hopes of the second round alive, aren't they?

Lur-Mn: Well mostly. A loss eliminates them barring quite special circumstances. A draw leaves them in poor shape. So they really need to take us down. So they'll be coming out at us full throttle?

Amda-Mo: Do you think they can overcome history?

Lur-Mn: Of course they can overcome history. We overcame our history with Bazalonia last cup. There's no question they can beat us. But we certainly won't get overconfident.

Amda-Mo: Predictions?

Lur-Mn: You know what? I'm gonna take the bait. Usually I avoid predictions, but in this case I'm gonna do it. I think we'll beat Demot.

Amda-Mo: Really? And advance despite most predictions to the contrary?

Lur-Mn: Yes. We're supposed to be a top team. We're starting to play like one and Demot will regret dropping that game against Bazalonia.

Amda-Mo: Ok. Now lets get to our top six teams. The performance in the qualifiers is not relevant. It's all based on what we've seen in the proper.

Lur-Mn: Well it's hard to pick at this point. It's always hard to judge after just one game, but with a fair number of draws and a lot of close wins no one really separated themselves.

6. Ariddia

Il-Lur's pick to win the whole thing took a first step towards reclaiming the title. It's arguable that they weren't one of the best six, but there in the top six for their history as much as for that game itself.

5. Fmjphoenix

The biggest suprise of the day. Most people had written off Fmjphoenix but they found, at least for one day, some lost glory. Now they're well placed to make it through to the next round.

4. Az-cz

A good way to start. Following the Qazox and Zwangzug wins they came in to the cup with some momentum and they made sure to hold on, smothering the few Estresse Intenso attacks.

3. Errinundera

The game definitely left some things to be desired for Errinundera. However, they scored five goals against Sel Appa and won their match buy two goals. So their attackers really poured it all over the Turtles.

2. Bazalonia

A team from within our own group is number two. Bazalonia picked off probably the best win of the day taking down the Dynamos from Demot. The Bazalopes are still looking to make their first treal push to deep in the tournament. So we know as a nation we know they'll be quite dangerous.

1. Bettia

Poor Bostopia. First game in the world cup proper and they get Bettia at the height of their power. Bettia was absolutely awesome pouring five in with just a single goal in reply. They showed all the class one would expect from a defending champion. It certainly puts a lot of the teams contending on notice. I'm sure Zax-Im has his eye on them.

Amda-Mo: Not a hugely suprising top six.

Lur-Mn: Yeah, but at this point they're isn't much reason for it to suprise us.

Amda-Mo: Yes. But join us back here when the team attempts to move to the second round and we can learn more about all of the competitive sides.

Jeruselem

13-08-2007, 12:38

Rocky: Hello?
Kate: Hello, who's there?
Rocky: Oh, it's Rocky Pointy Stick - I wanted to speak to your mother.
Kate: She's having an early night.

Rocky: OK, I guess she does miss her niece.
Kate: Yeah, but you can talk to Katey girl instead. Talk to me about anything.
Rocky: Why is you Dallas girls talk all the time?
Kate: I don't know, I can't shut up. How the kids handling missing their Mum?

Rocky: Rashina's kids? Well, they are miserable but being Dallas kids - they just keep on being well Dallas kids. They just keep occupied being annoying and obnoxious, well like you. Oh well, now I'm a single father now.
Kate: Me? I wasn't that bad! I might say stupid things for fun.
Rocky: Actually, you're alright except when get that smile of yours that your mother uses. Means you're up to something.
Kate: I'm a good girl.

Rocky: Yeah sure, anyway. How is Hikfie?
Kate: She's fine, probably because she's got an empty head.
Rocky: Now, that's mean. She's not that dumb.
Kate: I don't know, Mum calls her brain dead sometimes and she smiles and giggles.

Rocky: I think she's just happy person in general.
Kate: I don't know, one day I tapped on the head for fun. Sounds a bit empty.
Rocky: That was probably some coindence.
Kate: I hope so, Hikfie isn't the brighest Dallas around. Eh? You like her!

Rocky: Me? No ...
Kate: Come on, you can tell Kate!
Rocky: I'd rather have your weird mother.
Kate: I tell you something, I think you might have a chance with airhead.

Rocky: I don't know.

(Loud noise)

Rocky: What was that?
Kate: Oh, Hikfie just walked into a closed door.
Rocky: Maybe you are right.
Kate: I'm always right!

Rocky: You are turning out like your mother.
Kate: I have to go, Hikfie's got a headache.

Tynelia

13-08-2007, 13:56

A group of robe wearing monks sit gathered around a lone candle set atop a television set after the Tynelian 2-0 defeat at the hands of Vilita is concluded.

Monk_01: Brother Michael, Brother James, has the Lord of Scores abandoned us?

Brother James: No my brother, it is the lack of faith of the people that has displeased the Lord of Scores. Though our numbers have grown since Brother Michael has joined the cause to nearly 36 members. The New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy is still a lone voice in the land of heathens.

Borther Michael: And those misguided folk of the Tynelian Orthodox Church and their fellow misbelievers in the Archregimancy have faced the Lord of Scores displeasure for their actions as both teams did not score in their matches. If they could only open their closed hearts to hear the message of the Lord of Scores and Margaret his prophetess only then will He rain down his blessings to His people.

Brother James: indeed Brother Michael, let us now pray to the Lord that our faith may bring the light of a changing scoreboard to our Tynelian squad in our next match. One that we beseech thee Lord to show us mercy and grant us a win lest we are eliminated from the cup. Perhaps he had turned away because we did not know of his prophetess Margaret until you revealed her to us Brother Michael. Now let us make amends for that error of faith.

<All the monks take out their holy Hippo symbol and bow their heads as Brother James begins the prayer.>

Brother James: Hear us O Lord of Scores. Here the voices of the growing few who have seen thy truth and now harken to thy words. Was it not said in the Bible that a city would be spared if but one good man could be found there? Hear our voices O Lord, we are those people. Spare our team from another inglorious exit from the Cup. Save us from yet another drop down the ranks for the second straight Cup though we did qualify each time.

Let thy prophetess Margaret smile upon on strikers that they may strike true for thy glory and in thy name though they know not of their service to thee O Lord. Let not those unbelievers who seek to strike us down fearing thy truth prevail over thy people O Lord. Grant your people victory in this match with Jasīʼyūn who do not believe in thee. Let not the unbelievers be victorious against thy chosen people. For thy glory we ask this of you our Lord of Scores. May the light of thy scoreboard be everchanging for us in our next match. Amen.

Rest of monks: Amen.

Bettia

13-08-2007, 14:23

The Enlightener: gooooooooaaaaaaaallll!
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.png

Bett Bash Bos

Bettia..............................5 (A.Busilanta 13 68, P.Busilanta 17, B.Busilanta 20 88)
Bostopia........................1 (Cripps 45+1)

Relations between the nations of Bettia and Bostopia are normally very good - in the past their national team has always been gracious enough to respect Bettian customs by not wearing their first-choice red strip when travelling to the Blessed Realm, the two countries have recently established formal diplomatic relations along with a twinning arrangement between our two capitals, and they gave us all a laugh when they knocked Northern Bettia out of the playoffs at the last minute.

So how did the Aroras repay this bonhomie? By marking Bostopia's entry into their first World Cup proper by inflicting a crushing defeat.

With two of the three dreaded Busilanta brothers plying their trade here in Cafundéu, and with goalkeeper Chris Swift playing at his home ground, the Aroras always looked at home in the intense and somewhat musical atmosphere of the full-to-capacity, Maracatuzão which more than made up for the cold weather.

With the team clad in their now-familiar blue-and-white change strip and matching blue-tinted Azurlens™ sunglasses, Bettia looked to hit to ground running. The front three were quickly into their stride, ably assisted by the midield trio of Haynes, Myfanwy and the much-improved Suparpatra, and they soon carved out Bettia's first chance on four minutes only to be denied by a fine early save by Jeffers.

Unfortunately for the youngster, he could do nothing much about the Aroras' opener less than ten minutes later when Peri Busilanta was tripped around twenty yards from goal. Peri lined up with his two brothers before racing forwards to strike the ball. However, the defensive wall were fooled by his cunning dummy, and Andi Busilanta slammed the ball underneath the defenders as they jumped, leaving Jeffers completely unsighted as the ball rippled the net.

One goal quickly became two as Bettia pressed home their advantage, thanks to Peri Busilanta's downward header from Peredur Rhys' pinpoint cross from the wing. Three minutes later, Budi Busilanta made it a clean sweep for the triplets as he crashed the ball home from just inside the penalty area.

After being left by three goals in quick succession and facing a near-impossible task, nobody would have been surprised if Bostopia had simply shut up shop as a damage-limitation exercise, but to their credit they stuck to their guns and fought back, turning the game from a procession to an end-to-end spectacle. Cripps was unlucky to see his shot hit the underside of the crossbar after 35 minutes, but his persistance was rewarded when he scrambled the ball home on the stroke of half-time.

Thankfully for neutral spectators and supporters from both teams, the second half continued as the first left off with both teams working their way forward in search of the next goal. Cripps went close to adding a second goal to his tally, whilst Bettia's captain Ariel Haynes saw his shot smothered well by Jeffers.

In the end, it was inevitable that the scoreline would not stay at 3-1 forever, and Bettia extended their lead on 68 minutes. Evan Miranda, who had come on for Peri Busilanta just a few minutes before, unleashed a piledriver of a shot which Jeffers was only just able to tip around the post, earning Bettia their seventh corner of the game. In a training-ground routine, Andi and Budi Busilanta stayed out on the edge of the edge whilst Haynes swung the ball out past the far post where Frank Myfanwy was lurking. His header backwards fell perfectly to Andi, who hit a sweet half-volley to restore the Aroras' three-goal cushion.

The last twenty minutes was mainly made up of Bettia setting up camp in the Bostopian half as they continued striving for another goal, with their dispirited opponents barely able to contain them. As the shots rained in, it was only a matter of time before one of them found the mark, and it came courtesy of a quick long throw by Said bin Said Ismail on the right-hand side which found Bandasera galloping into space behind the back line. After making his way to the byeline, his cheeky little back-flick found Budi Busilanta, who made no mistake sidefooting home from just ten yards out.

Elsewhere in Cafundéu, Jeruselem fought out a goalless draw against Zwangzug, whilst in the same group Ariddia dispatched the Atheistic Right 2-0. Az-cz had no troubles against Estresse Intenso, beating the host's puppets by a similar scoreline. The highlight in the other section was the local derby between hosts Capitalizt SLANI and Jasi'yun - the Capitalizts didn't slani it up however, coming away with a comfortable 3-0 win.

And so the Aroras have got this World Cup off to the perfect start, and they'll be hoping for more of the same as they must now face this group's second seeds The Lowland Clans, who ran out 4-2 victors against the evil ones of Turori. As far as Bettian supporters are concerned, they'll just be hoping for a repeat of today's performance - more of the same please!

Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT................VENUE...RESULT

First Round, Group G

01: Bostopia.............Dunboor....W 5-1
02: The Lowland Clans....Dunboor....
03: Turori...............Astari.....

Qualifying Group 5

FR: Az-cz...................HOME....W 3-2
01: Spruitland..............Away....L 1-2
02: Dance 2 Revolution......HOME....W 4-2
03: Shackfold...............Away....W 6-1
04: Kansiov.................HOME....W 7-2
05: Green wombat............Away....L 2-4
06: TT Lake Side............Away....W 2-0
07: Bazalonia...............HOME....
08: Spruitland..............HOME....
09: Dance 2 Revolution......Away....
10: Shackfold...............HOME....
11: Kansiov.................Away....
12: Green wombat............HOME....
13: TT Lake Side............HOME....
14: Bazalonia...............Away....

Errinundera

13-08-2007, 14:33

haimaidu's column from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) City News.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/FallsCityNews.gif

HIGH FIVES WITH HAIMAIDU

How do you do? Hi, it’s haimaidu.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/haimaidu.jpg

Sel Appa

Well, we’ve had our first game of qualifying here in the Unified Capitalizt States. breretond, with his hat trick, was sensational. Only 18, his first World Cup match and he blows everyone away. The Kid has more chutzpah than anyone else I’ve ever met. He’s good, knows he’s good and walks with the swagger that such confidence brings. avilmou and snaporoo also scored goals – in fact, our forward play was the highlight of the match generally.

Things deteriorated as you went further down the field. Our defensive play was disappointing, allowing the Turtles to score 3 goals in what was our worst effort since qualifying began. I have to admit to being one of the offending defenders (if that makes sense). The coaching staff have been encouraging but, if we are serious about progressing beyond the second round, we can’t allow so many goals to teams like Sel Appa. That’s assuming that we make it to the second round but we are on course so far.

onito thinks we’re being too complicated in our play. She keeps telling us to keep it simple. I just hope I get selected for the next match.

It’s a shame that Errinundrians couldn’t afford to attend the tournament. We did see one flag in Querzakhi stadium but the rumour is that it was a local fan who hates Sel Appa so much he came along to support us. Mind you, it seems the Turtle fans couldn’t afford the trip either so the stadium, which seats over 150,000 people, was less than half full. There wasn’t much of an atmosphere.

The UCS, cabin fever and the zoo.

The UCS is just about the most fascinating and most frustrating, most astonishing, and most appalling place I’ve ever visited. It’s also very expensive. imonedebouvoi says that the hotel costs for the this trip exceeds the EFA’s budget for an entire season. And that includes all the individual clubs. Luckily the national Government is subsidising the trip.

The first thing that strikes you when you arrive is that it’s almost impossible to go outside. From the airport we were teleported to the hotel. From there, if we wished, we could teleport to shopping malls, night clubs, cinemas, restaurants, our training facility and the match day grounds. The blockheads* in the team didn’t seem to mind being cooped up inside 24 hours a day but the tree people soon got restless.

We asked our hosts if we could go outside but this caused them great agitation. Apparently it’s rather dangerous out there. The officials thought that, at the very least, we would be mugged. This intrigued, rather than deterred, us. There is whole other society of Slanis out there and we were being inoculated from them.

It was oovaroo who found out how to teleport to freedom. She discovered a link to the Querzakhi Zoological & Botanical Gardens. We were in heaven. Luckily, we had brought sleeping bags, mats and tents in the forlorn hope of doing some bush walking while we were in the UCS. The forest folk (about half the team) teleported to the zoo where we jumped the wall into the marsupial enclosure and set up our tents. This large open space with wombats and wallabies has been designed to reproduce Australian open woodland. It reminds me a bit of the lower parts of the Snowy River valley. At least it gives the illusion of being natural and you can look out the entrance and see greenery and blue sky.

You’ve got to give it to the Slanis – they’re a pretty tolerant bunch. Once we convinced the CEO of the zoo that we wouldn’t bother the animals they decided to let us stay. It turned out we became something of a star attraction. Attendances have risen by 37% since we joined the exhibit. Now the CEO thinks we are wonderful.

The next day we jumped the wall at the back of the marsupial enclosure and had our first recce of the outside world of Querzakhi. We didn’t stay out long. Apart from people, dogs and cats, we didn’t see a single living animal nor a skerrick of vegetation. We didn’t even see a patch of bare earth. There were canals but no natural creeks or rivers.

The outside people we met were friendly enough. When they found out we were from a World Cup football team they were curious about our ways and our nation. Unemployment is low and, although the average per capita income is very high, there are many luxuries that the average Slani cannot afford but is convinced is essential by the endless advertising. As a result, and despite their wealth, many of the people outside the teleport zone are resentful of their richer countrypeople.

Tomorrow we teleport to Commerce Heights to prepare for the match against our group’s #1 seeds, Milchama. The whole team is excited by the match. We love playing against top 10 sides. Our aim is to get in there among them. The game will give as some idea of where we are in the scheme of things.

See you in a tree sometime. Haimaidu.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 5
(breretond 23, 49 & 60, snaporoo 26, avilmou 70)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Sel_Appa.png
Sel Appa 3
(Dubrov 31 & 40, Estevez 73)

Errinundera's WC36 scorers:
10 breretond
9 snaporoo
8 avilmou
7 immelfar
5 scerberu
3 otemki
2 froesu
1 agloir
1 ipieomenicu
1 onito
1 oovaroo

*Blockheads = non-forest dwellers, they live in little boxes on the hillsides...

Wentland

13-08-2007, 20:30

Norman Hacker was delighted. A clean sheet - again - to start the finals and a springboard perhaps to another run into the last four.

Unfortunately the Wentland media were unable to cover the game. A strike by Air Wentland pilots over stewardess allowances meant the nation's largest planes were grounded. Pilot leader Pontius Pilot put the case forcefully. "We are allowed four stewardesses per overnight stop. It's not my fault some of them can't cope with my demands. "

The press were forced to watch on WBC, but owing to the rampant dullness of the match they either fell asleep or wrote reports on the testcard instead. Which qualified for the Testcard World Cup quarter finals. Albeit to face a stiff challenge fron Talulah Gosh.

Cafundeu

14-08-2007, 03:29

Reporters try to discover more about Lux monastery

Few people knew that there was a monastery in Lux. From a city with good life quality, it wouldn't be a surprise that many groups would want to make Lux their home, but monks from the Orthodox church? Nobody expected that, and the media wanted to check that. The monastery is located in the rural area of Lux, but not so far from the urban area.

The country doesn't have an official religion, although half of the population is Catholic. But in the other half, you can find people of all religions. In big cities, you can find nearly any kind of religious temples or places, from the common Catholic churches to the Umbanda Centres, much visited by people who want something from the famous "Pais-de-Santo" or "Macumbeiros".

But now the Lux monastery became famous after offering asylum to the players of The Archregimancy's team. And the busybody and rude media of Cafundéu wanted to get something from the monastery at all costs. Most of the television channels sent some reporters and cameras to the place, and a confusion could start at any moment. Globo Multimedia even sent a helicopter to the rural Lux.

Some aerial images showed some characteristics of the place. It seemed that there the monks produce their own food, and don't leave the monastery. The land was given by the Empire, and the monks don't have to pay for it. But two monks, called the travellers, usually go to the city to get some things necessary for the monastery. Some people, that like the monks, give these things for free.

The travellers use a coach pulled by donkeys to reach Lux, and the players of The Archregimancy will probably use this to go to the Arena Imperial. Some reporters tried to invade the monastery, but the gate guardians were effective and didn't let no one go through. After some time, the reporters gave up and prepared just simple news, talking about the monastery but don't showing any images of it.

Qazox

14-08-2007, 04:47

New Qazian Press

40 YEARS OF QAZOXIAN FOOTBALL...WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

(Please note WC 33 Qualifers took place in 1915, Qazox time, WC 33 was in 1917)

Heading into World Cup 33 qualifers, Qazox was at a crossroads of being either a one-hit wonder or a contender. The team was a bit younger than the last time out, so expectations were relatively low. Placed in a group with Assegai Developments for the 3rd straight time, Vilita and Cuation, the team suprpised every one by actually winning the Group, qualifing for the 2nd world Cup in team history.

At the World Cup held in Quakmybush and Az-cz, Qazox was in a group with Wentland, The Lowland Clans and Geisenfried. A stunning 3-2 win over Wentland and a draw with TLC left the team in prime position to advacne to the next round but a complete loss to Geisenfried 2-5, left the team in 3rd place on the outside looking in.

So for simplicity's sake we'll just post the Newer players here (in Blue)

ROSTER:
NAME (age)

GOALKEEPERS
Greg Wolfen (31)
Hernan Cortez (30)
Marco Hinger (19)

DEFENDERS
Juan Won One (25)
Adolf Limburger (30)
Ryan Holmes (29)
Eric Redsen (28)
Alene Mcdivitt (20)
Dara Dreisbach (19)

MIDFIELDERS
Ty Rant (24)
Alexrandra Hotep (29)
Wendy Richie (23)
Lucretia Casdorph (21)
Paulina Sardina (18)

WINGERS
Kyle Horton (27) (Captain)
Sonja Clay (28)
Regina Reginald (28)
Jonathon Sarafin (17) youngest Qazoxian starter ever at the time.
Ione Nemetz (19)
Renita Bensman (22)

So where are they now?
GOALKEEPERS
Greg Wolfen: Playing/Coaching for Chivas Saxer in QFL, Age: 43
Hernan Cortez: Lives in Az-cz with wife and 3 children, Age: 42
Marco Hinger: Plays for SaxerVilla in QFL Age: 31

DEFENDERS
Ryan Holmes: Co-Owner of Holmes, Waston and Moriarity Law Firm in Gothika, Age: 41
Adolf Limburger: Died at age 42, the day before these qualifers due to home robbery attempt, when he was shot protecting his wife.
Eric Redsen: Playing for FC Fromburg in QFL, Age:40
Juan Won One: Playing for Qazox City in QFL, Age: 37
Alene Mcdivitt: Died in car crash in 1924, along with Dara Dreisbach at age 29
Dara Dreisbach: Died in car crash in 1924, along with Alene Mcdivitt at age 28

MIDFIELDERS
Alexrandra Hotep: Current Assistant Head Coach of National team/Head Coach of River Vitas (W-League), Age: 41
Ty Rant: Assistant Coach/Player for SaxerVilla in QFL, Age: 36
Wendy Richie: Schoolteacher at Gothika High School in Gothika, Age: 35
Lucretia Casdorph: Plays for Graverville WC in W-league, Age: 30
Paulina Sardina: Plays for Fromburg WC in W-league, Age: 27

WINGERS
Kyle Horton: Playing for Qazox City in QFL Age: 39
Sonja Clay: Living in Lorax City, Councilwoman, Age: 40
Regina Reginald: Playing for Iguana de Mia in QFL Age: 40
Jonathon Sarafin: Captain for Lake Porter City in QFL, Age 26 youngest Qazoxian starter ever.
Ione Nemetz: Plays for Pika WC in W-league Age: 28
Renita Bensman: Plays for Lake Porter WC in W-league Age: 31

Next Issue: World Cup 34 squad.

New Manhattan

14-08-2007, 10:52

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc36.png
AEROPAG, JI · 0.10 g Au · 162–02–02
Worried about the “love of money”? Spend some on live news updates from the Aeropag Tribune and feel better!

World Cup: Hat-trick hero Hartenholm hammers haddockless 혜성즈 (Hyesūŋjī)
유포, 소코 (ʼYUPO, SK)—The eighth meeting between the two national teams from the Unified Capitalizt States—the first in a competitive match—brought an excited crowd to Capitalizm for the opening match of the thirty-sixth World Cup (though another “opening match” was being held concurrently between Cafundéu and the HURD in the Obelisco Monumental). As should have been expected, 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) were unable to repeat their pre-qualifying upset over the Capitalizts, allowing Capitalizt SLANI to dominate the match and ultimately win 3–0.

After an unspectacular opening shot attempt by the 혜성즈 (Hyesūŋjī), SLANI captain Roy Hartenholm—who recently played for Cafundéu’s Seleção da Liga, helping them to hold their national team to a draw—opened the scoring for his team with a direct goal from a corner kick, the moderate 소코지토 (Sokojito) breeze seeing his ball past goalkeeper Leon Petersdorf and into the top corner. Though the Capitalizts continued to have the advantage throughout the first half, 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) got a chance to equalize in the thirty-eighth minute, when a poorly-timed challenge by Θεοδωράκης (Theodōrákīs) gave them a direct free kick near the penalty area. The shot by Kamporino went high above the crossbar, leaving his teammates wishing that the half were over. It turned out that their situation would have been much better if it were over, as Hartenholm powered in his second goal of the day in the forty-third minute, staying onside to take advantage of a perfect pass by Herbert Münzer. The score remained 2–0 at the interval, making it quite clear that 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) would, without a major miracle, be relegated to first-round obscurity in their World Cup début.

Capitalizt SLANI, wearing their green and gold kits for the first time since a home encounter with Krytenia in World Cup 32 qualifying (and you all know what happened in the other leg of that tie), appeared content to maintain their two-goal lead in the second half, bringing Malte Čubrilo on for Morten Wiedemeyer in order to pull back to a defensive 3–4–3. Though 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) did make a number of attempts at Abúndia Tqaperena’s position from distance during the second half, he had no trouble in deflecting them away. It was a dull, defensive match, with the exception of a glimmer of activity in the eighty-seventh minute, when Hartenholm’s advance towards a pass floating in the penalty box was cut short by a hard tackle from substitute Arnold Waters. As Hartenholm went down, his head hit the ball, causing it to hit the ground and bounce into the goal, completing his hat-trick. Waters was sent off for his offense, but as Hartenholm was unable to continue the match, and SLANI had used all of its substitutions, the two sides were even with ten men until the final whistle. The three–zero result held until that time.

Capitalizt SLANI manager Alejandro Bolúfero said of the match, “As they started to tire in the middle of the second half, it seemed like we could’ve won five–, six–, maybe even seven–nil if we had pressed harder. But I respect Ramírez and his team, and it’s far more important that we be ready for the match against Vilita.” When asked about Hartenholm’s injury, he refused to comment.

자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) manager Mitchell Ramírez made no statement after the match, except “It could’ve been much worse.”

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/matchsummary/wc361r/com/jsy/

Alasdair I Frosticus

14-08-2007, 11:21

OFFICIAL HOLY EMPIRE WC36 SOUVENIR

INFLATABLE HADDOCK
Available in Your National Team Colours NOW!!!!!

The Holy Empire Football Association and the Junior Imperial Undersecretariat for Ordinary Reality Relations are pleased to join together to offer the official Holy Empire World Cup 36 Souvenir: a 1.5 metre tall inflatable haddock. In a rare venture into Ordinary Reality interaction, these inflatable haddock are available in the national colours of each of the 32 participating nations in World Cup 36, even those anathemised (recently or currently) by the OCHE, for a low, low, low price.

Simply order your inflatable haddock by dreaming of haddock tonight* and you will awake the next morning with your inflatable haddock at the foot of your designated place of rest**. The price of the haddock, deemed to be whatever we think is fair***, will be automatically deducted from your bank account****.

Order now for this once in lifetime opportunity to own a genuine piece of cheap Dreamed Realm tat in your nation's national colours!

* dreams involving sexual interaction with haddock will not be honoured.
** robots and other non-sleepers may designate someone to dream on their behalf.
*** the sum cost of the haddock, including delivery, shall be no less than .0000001%, and no more than 10%, of any individual's total assets; total individual assets for communist countries shall be calculated based on an averaging of state assets.
**** HEFA and JIUORR reserve the right to take goods in kind of our choosing where no bank account or other cash reserves exist; funds and goods shall be taken from the state where property is held in common.

The Archregimancy

14-08-2007, 11:50

[OOC - Caf, I've taken some god-modding liberties with your nation below. Apologies if any of the below is inappropriate; I can edit later if you don't approve.]

The Journal of International Orthodox History

Some Thoughts on the Recently Discovered Codex Lux
(excerpt)

By Fr. Arcadius the Non-Areopagite

...came as a surprise to many to discover that the Codex indicated that there was a small, but thriving, Orthodox community in Cafundéu, though the ecclesiastical hierarchy and descent of the Apostolic succession thereof was unclear. This was a particular surprise given that most outsiders associated Cafundéu with the schismatic Pope of Rome. Nonetheless, the presence of that community was confirmed during World Cup 36 when the national monastic football team of the Archregimancy was forced to take refuge in the Orthodox Monastery of Lux. Marginalia in the Codex seem to suggest that, the Monastery of Lux, which seems to be the central focus of Cafundéu's Orthodox Community, is a self-governing autonomous Orthodox Church; the identity of the ruling bishop or Patriarch - and which country he may indeed be based in - remains unclear.

The Monastery of Lux is located on the northeast side of the city of the same name, in a rural area, but not too distant from the city's urban core. The monastery was founded by a Joao Tornicipos; recent years have been a period of surprising prosperity for the monastery, and, as result, it had been decorated with splendid painting works.

It is inhabited by 61 monks and is coenobitic (communal).

Its Katholikon is dedicated to the Dormition of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and follows the typical plan of the Orthodox monastic church. The church's interior is decorated with magnificent frescoes as its wood-carved iconostasis is apparently 300 years old.

In addition to the Katholikon, there are sixteen chapels within the monastery. Two of the them, the chapel of Saint Nicholas and the chapel of the Archangels lie in the eso-narthex. In the courtyard are two further chapels. Near the gate of the monastery is a chapel which houses a thaumaturgical icon of Virgin Portaitissa. To the east is the chapel of Saint John the Baptist.

In front the entrance of the Katholikon lies the Phiale for the blessing of the waters, and opposite of the church stands the refectory.

The monastery’s skevofylakion (treasury) contains gold-embroidered sacerdotal vestments, ecclesiastic plates, and local art works.

The library is amazingly rich for such an isolated Orthodox community, containing more than 2,000 codices and 15 liturgical scrolls, 100 manuscripts and 15,000 printed books. How the monastery came to own such extraordinary wonders is not revealed by the Codex Lux.

Access is by donkey-drawn cart.

The Monastery was the focus of surprising media scrutiny during World Cup 36, when both the local monks and the visiting squad from the Archregimancy became the focus of intense international interest.

[closing OOC: Caf, I can send you some links with photographs of Orthodox monasteries you can select from if you want to take this any further; TG me if necessary. The description of the Monastery of Lux is taken directly from a description of the RL monastery of Iveron (or Iverion) on Mount Athos]

New Manhattan

14-08-2007, 19:51

Matchday 2 RP cutoff

Matchday 2 scores: Cafundéu groups (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12966116&postcount=23) · UCS groups (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12966180&postcount=24)

Bostopia

14-08-2007, 22:51

4-3-1-2 Magazine
Bostopia Meeting Expectations In World Cup 36

I want my mum may as well have been the cry coming from the Bostopian team and supporters as they slipped to a 5 – 1 thrashing at the hands of World Champions Bettia, with Aleksander Cripps scoring the only goal for the red-and-whites in the 46th minute of the first half.

The partly red shirt may have been the problem, with a slight oversight being performed in forgetting about the Bettian semi-motto of “We hate red shirts”. The Bettians ended up playing in blue-tinted glasses, probably full of anger at seeing red shirts like a bull in a china shop.

The next game against Turori proved to be a two-all draw, with Flambriff grabbing two goals, in the 25th and 67th minute, before Turori pulled it back in the last 20 minutes. Manager Kelly Firth described the draw as disappointing, but noted that her players had gotten tired playing against such strong opposition, and it couldn’t be helped.

The next step for Bostopia is a must-win game against TLC, to leapfrog them and Turori into 2nd place with 4 points, though this relies on Turori losing to Bettia. A tall order, but being able to still qualify is better than falling at the second game.

Jeruselem

15-08-2007, 00:30

Jeruselem Government News

Ariddians win battle of the Ariddians

Jeruselem vs Ariddia - one of best games of this cup so far. Unfortunately for Jeruselem, Jeruselem lost meaning it had to beat Atheistic Right next game but the Crusaders didn't disgrace themselves.

It was a unique game where an Ariddian native coach played a team coached by a half-Ariddian, both females. It's not very often this happens. The result was pretty much like a replay of the World Cup 32 final except more goal were scored, THREE TWO.

In the first half, Ariddia showed why it made the final of the last World Cup. It slammed on three goals against a defense missing Rashina Dallas who has been the bedrock of the Jeruselem defense for most of this cup. But in typical style, after a Dazza Dallas pep talk - Jeruselem stormed back with two goals to get rid of any complacency the Ariddians had. Despite that, Jeruselem still lost the game.

The first half for Jeruselem was a bit of non-event as the opposition make the new defensive structure of Jeruselem look second rate. It seems the essential Rashina Dallas being missing made a difference as attackers don't like the aggressive Rashina Dallas, shutting them down. Fix Foster wasn't up to the job.

Dazza Dallas needed goals and put in her daughter Kate into the forward line for second half as Captain Dinkie Dosha was looking more discouraged as the game went on. As the game progressed, Kate put in a cross headed in by Brother Haven. Dazza Deux later curled in free kick to give the Jeruselem team hope and the Ariddian had to defend. Despite Kate Dallas putting in the efforts, Cassie Lee prevented Jeruselem from scoring the much wanted equaliser - including Kate Dallas blasting a shot which almost flattened Cassie Lee's perfect face.

Jeruselem need to beat Atheistic Right, and hope Ariddia destroy Zwangzug. So Jeruselemites, support Jeruselem and Ariddia!

People may have doubted the ability of Kate Dallas, but the 14 year old is looking like the new Dazza Dallas. In fact, the official Captain Dinkie Dosha conceded
"I needed Kate on the field today. I'm just no good at revving up the troops. Putting a Dazza Dallas or Kate Dallas is like putting nitro into a car. It's an unstable element, but it sure gives the team a bit of kick. I hope Cassie Lee is OK, Kate's kick nearly flatten her face. God knows how a short person like Kate that size can kick a ball that hard."

A pumped up Kate Dallas said
"I want to play all of next game. I want to score hat trick. No one's going get my way! Ariddia deserved to win today but I'm going to make sure Mum's team win the next game. I don't care how we score goals but I'm going to make sure we will."

Dazza Dallas disappeared for the second half of the game, was seen later in a local hospital. Her daughter kate explained
"Oh, she fell out of bed and hit a coffee table. We just wanted to make sure she's OK. She's just got sore shoulder, but with people her age you have to make sure there's no hairline fractures. No, she's not pregnant, neither am I."

In related Dallas news, Kate Dallas has been named Teenage Girl of the Year in a poll conducted by the Jeruselem Teen magazine. Most teenage boys voted for Kate because she looked like the mother Dazza Dallas while the girls wanted to be have her looks and her natural talent as well as being in the current top 100 female students for her age.

It has be rumoured, a new room has fitted out for Kate Dallas in the Royal Palace by her current boyfriend, the Crown Prince. It will be used when she visits him. Royal watchers say it's been named "The Dallas Harem".

Sel Appa

15-08-2007, 01:43

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/juvanya/turtletimes.png

Lost Hope Regained

So, the Turtles have actually won their second match against Quakmybush. After a loss against Errinundera, the hope of going through the Group Stage faltered across Sel Appa. But now, hope has revived. A draw or win against Milchama would effectively send Sel Appa to the Knockout Rounds against Elves Security Forces, Fmjphoenix, or Yafor 2. Below is the history with each nation. Good luck to the Turtles!

Milchama: 0-1-1 4/5 (-1)
Away 2-2 (WC36Q)
Home 2-3 (WC36Q)

Elves Security Forces: 0-0-2 1/3 (-2)
Neutral 0-1 (CoH24)
Neutral 1-2 (WC35)

Fmjphoenix: 0-0-1 0/4 (-4)
Neutral 0-4 (CoH23)

Yafor 2: 2-0-0 3/1 (+2)
Away 1-0 (WC36Q)
Home 2-1 (WC36Q)

Sel Appa has records against all these nations. As long as the Turtles go through, they have a fairly good chance of making the Quarterfinals, unless they face Elves Security Forces.

Baptism of Fire?
There are rumors and a leak that Sel Appa may host the next Baptism of Fire. The FFSA has declined to comment. A Baptism of Fire hosting would be an enormous boon to Sel Appa's already huge international football presence. The infrastructure is certainly available and would catalyze a future World Cup hosting.

Champions Cup
The FFSA reported that an international Champions Cup for the top domestic teams from each nation may be held soon after this World Cup. The Nemnen Turtles would most likely be sent to this tournament. More exact details are unknown and the tournament may not even occur, the FFSA has said.

Sel Appa

15-08-2007, 02:07

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/juvanya/thecabbage.png

Man Wakes Up Under Dozens of Inflatable Haddocks

YERBAU, Sel Appa—A 30-year-old T'lopiq man woke up to find his room filled with over a hundred inflatable haddocks. Ronald Autrey says he never saw them before and there is no explanation for how they got in his house. The Triple Point Energy Corp. worker related a dream he had the night before: "I dreamed that I was a haddock and swam in a river with hundreds of haddocks. It was really bizarre." The haddocks have no identifying marks that would hint to their origin.

Autrey says he will probably sell most of the haddocks over the internet. He plans to keep one for each of his five children, as well as send some to his eight nephews and nieces. At his wife's urging, he took a basic psychological exam which found no abnormalities or signs of amnesia. T'lopiq Provincial Police are investigating the incident as a possible prank, but Mr. Autrey says he has no enemies or friends who would do this type of thing. "Not even at university...." No Sel Appan toy manufacturer makes inflatable haddocks that might have been the sources of them.

Cafundeu

15-08-2007, 02:34

Before the game against The Archregimancy: reporters wait for monks in the Lux monastery

The monks of The Archregimancy are giving audience. And because of that, Cafundéu's media needs to show them more in the television. In the first day of the monks in the Lux monastery, many reporters tried to get some good news, but they didn't get many things. But they left the place with the feeling that they could get something if they tried harder. And today was the perfect day to try harder, as The Archregimancy was going to play against Cafundéu in the Olímpico Imperial.

So, the reporters and cameras of many news sources were waiting for some action. Some discussions between them happened, and some reporters tried to invade the monastery. But the real confusion happened when the cameras saw the donkeys leaving the monastery and going to the gate. Suddenly, all the reporters ran. Some of them had to run to get their microphones, others to do their makeup at time. Everybody was waiting for that moment.

And the donkeys appeared, pushing the carts with The Archregimancy players. Photos were taken, and the reporters put their microphones at the monks' faces. The monks of the Lux monastery did their best to try to avoid the media, but weren't successful. Most of the monks didn't like the situation. Then, the donkeys were headed to the city, and the cars of the TV channels went after them.

Lux is smaller than the other state capitals. It doesn't have much high buildings, and it seems a peaceful place. The monks of The Archregimancy's National Team left the monastery two hours before the start of the game, but, when they reach the main avenue of the city, the traffic was intense. Usually, the Olímpico Imperial doesn't receive many supporters, as the city doesn't have a big team. So, the supporters usually go to the stadium half an hour before the beginning of the game.

But today things were different. A World Cup game was taking place in Lux. And, to turn things worse for the drivers, the game was between the National Team of Cafundéu and The Archregimancy, a team that appeared a lot in the newspapers. The supporters decided to go to the stadium very early, but even leaving their homes more than an hour earlier than usual, they couldn't avoid the huge traffic. And the situation wasn't different for the monastery vehicles.

This was all that the reporters wanted. More photos were taken. But the monks were defended. Other drivers, annoyed with the interference of the national media in the lives of the foreign citizens, criticized the journalists and threw things at them. This unexpected situation obligated the reporters to abandon the avenue. Then, finally the team of The Archregimancy was allowed to go to the stadium in peace, although it took some time. The Empire also prepared a security operation for the monks in the stadium.

More informations about the Lux monastery were discovered. It is not the only one of Cafundéu, of course (one famous monastery is located in Srieth, and another unknown for most in Compos (there can be others)), but it really seems to be the most important of the whole country. Orthodoxy doesn't have many adherents in Cafundéu (in percentage - 1,7%), losing to Catholicism (more than 40%), Spiritism and Protestantism (tied with approx. 13,5%), Umbanda and Candomblé (with approx. 10%), Agnosticism (with approx. 8%) and Judaism (2%). These are only approximated numbers, and aren't official. After Orthodoxy, Islam comes (1,5%), then Buddhism (with 0,8%), tied with Atheists, and then Hinduism (0,5%). The rest of the population follows less-known religions.

The leader of the Lux monastery is a very old man called Silas Hermes Bourbuena, or Father Herman, as he is called by his brothers of the monastery. The monastery is not old, the land was given by Emperor Benjamin Van Tocco, approximately sixty years ago. In the last years, citizens of Lux help the monastery giving some resources to them, as the monks are gentle and help the people of the rural are when they need something.

On another note, Globo Multimedia reporters invaded the monastery and entered in one of its rooms. But they were soon captured by the monk responsible for security and invited to leave the place. They left the monastery shouting that, as reporters from the biggest media source of Cafundéu, and maybe one of the biggest of the world, they should have the right to visit the monastery.

After all, a question comes: if The Archregimancy qualifies, how they are going to stay in Cafundó do Juta or in Lasft for some days? There aren't monastery in these huge cities. The solution can be simple: some famous people, rich businessman, like football (or Orthodoxy) and could pay for some place for the monks to stay. But it is unclear if it will really happen. Let's wait to discover.

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Other news: Dazza Dallas gets media attention too

Dazza Dallas, the famous coach and ambassador, has already visited two cities in Cafundéu. First, she went to Elville, a calm city with love for nature. She didn't like the city very much, and few reporters went to follow her visit. But, in Submiria, things were different. She went to the beach and loved the citizens. "There are a lot of women here, it's a bit strange," she said. "But the beach is wonderful. I'll return here after the World Cup ends." She also swam using one of the famous haddock gut bikinis.

Now, Dazza Dallas is going to Cafundó do Juta, the capital city of the country, to see the last game of Jeruselem. She'll probably like the place too, as Cafundó do Juta is a big city with many shops and places to go. Also, there will be plenty of reporters in the city, wanting to see more of Dazza Dallas. Be sure that she'll receive a lot of media attention there!

Cafundeu

15-08-2007, 03:20

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 36 COVERAGE – FROM LUX, CAFUNDÉU
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
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AMAZING WIN PUTS CAFUNDÉU IN THE SECOND STAGE

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View of the stadium Olímpico Imperial in Lux

After a first victory against The HURD, the Monopolists faced their most difficult game, at least in theory, of the group stage of the World Cup. Facing the monks of The Archregimancy, a good game was expected, and a draw would be already a good result for the hosts. In the full Olímpico Imperial, the supporters did their best to help the team to win this important result, and the team played with an offensive style, using its good midfield.

The opponents had more conservative tactics, maybe even predictable. Another interesting fact about the monks of The Archregimancy is that they give audience to the television channels and newspapers, and because of that the national media is looking for more news about them, For example, the monastery where they are living was surrounded by reporters wanting to know more about them, giving less media attention even to the National Team of Cafundéu (details later).

And, in the end, the Monopolists surprised their own supporters. Playing well, the team could score two goals before the twentieth minute of the game, and held the positive result until the end of the game, although Júnior suffered two goals. With this excellent result, Cafundéu is qualified, while The Archregimancy faces a big problem. The team needs to win its game against The HURD (easy) and Wentland must lose the game against Cafundéu.

THE GAME

When the game started, The Archregimancy held the ball in the midfield, waiting for the best moment to attack. In the first minutes, the monks controlled well the ball, and had a very good chance to score in an attack, when a monk invaded the area and shot. Júnior saved, the same monk got the rebound and shot again, for another save of Júnior. After ten minutes, Cafundéu could predict some plays of the opponent team, and started to attack too.

Cafundéu’s attacks were very dangerous, and the team could score in its first shot at the goal. Léo Mattos made a long ranged pass to Dário, who hit the ball with his head. The ball went to Heitor, who received the ball inside the area, dribbled the goalkeeper and shot to score the goal. Minutes after, Anormal tried to score from a long ranged shot, but the ball went over the bar. But the second goal was scored soon. This time, Flecha shot the ball, it hit the defender’s leg and Heitor shot after getting the rebound to score another goal. Read Breno Gavião (1st goal comment):

“Cafundéu comes to the first attack in the game. Léo Mattos in the rrrrright wing, sends the ball to the attack. A monk battles against Dárrrrrio for the ball, Dárrrrrio heads it... the ball is still with the Monopolists, now Heitor with it, he rrrrruns against the goalkeeper, drrrrribbles him... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! A beautiful goal, it must be shown again! Heitor, number eleven! Cafundéu one, The Arrrrrchrrrrregimancy zero!”

After scoring two goals, Cafundéu’s players seemed more secure in the game, while the monks were a bit nervous and wanted to score at any price. They attacked, but in most of the plays the defenders cleared the danger. Cafundéu had few counterattacks, but uneffective. In a corner kick for The Archregimancy, a monk crossed the ball and Barbosa, wanting to send the ball for another corner kick, shot it and scored an own goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“Corrrrrner kick for the monks. The situation seems good for Cafundéu, winning by two goals and contrrrrrolling the game. A monk goes to take the corrrrrner, he sends it to the arrrrrea. It’s a narrrrrow crrrrrossing, he will scorrrrre... Barrrrrbosa interrrrrcepts it... and it’s a goal. Goal for The Arrrrrchrrrrregimancy! Own goal, Barrrrrbosa, number eight! The Arrrrrchrrrrregimancy one, Cafundéu two! Want to know more about your futurrrrre? About your rrrrrelationships? Go to see Mãe Isabel, the famous forrrrrtuneteller!”

The monks won some motivation to return to play well in the game, and for some minutes they were very close from scoring the second goal. But Cafundéu’s tactics were good and the defenders could hold the short pressure. After that, good chances started in the wings by Léo Mattos and Toninho made The Archregimancy defend more to avoid suffering another goal. In the best chance, Rato was one on one with the keeper, but sent the ball wide. The first half ended.

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Monks reach the stadium to play against Cafundéu

For the second half, the coach Júlio Vargas decided to keep the same team that played a good first half. The style was the same too, but in the second half, Cafundéu couldn’t hold the ball with the same peacefulness that it did in the first half. The Archregimancy wanted to score, and pressed the Monopolists wanting the ball. They started their attacks using the centre of the field, and nearly scored a goal with a long ranged shot.

The game was equal in the second half, and a goal could appear at any time. In a chance, a monk dribbled Souza and shot, sending the ball wide. Cafundéu replied with a beautiful play. Eduardo Monte passed the ball to Dário, who invaded the area and passed the ball to Flecha, in front of the goal. The attacker sent the ball wide, missing a goal that no one would miss. The coach, angry with the situation, decided to test Ferreira in the team, putting him in Flecha’s place.

The supporters were worried. Cafundéu was playing well, but The Archregimancy had some good chances too. They stopped singing and concentrated in watching the game, hoping for another goal. Heitor shot and the ball hit the post. Only five minutes after, the awaited goal happened. Anormal passed the ball to Toninho in the left wing. The left-back reached the end of the playing field and crossed the ball. The question is: did he really crossed the ball or shot it? The ball went to the goal and the goalkeeper, surprised, let the ball enter in the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“Anorrrrrmal with the ball in this difficult game. He has just rrrrreceived a yellow carrrrrd, something uncommon for our captain. He holds the ball for a moment and looks at the attack. Long pass, Toninho gets the ball, rrrrruns to the end of the field, Ferrrrrrrreirrrrra asks for the ball inside the arrrrrea, Toninho crrrrrosses the ball and... what, is a goal! Look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Look at the replay! Toninho, number six! Cafundéu three, The Arrrrrchrrrrregimancy one!”

The situation seemed calm after the third goal, as the team was more than able to hold the win during the last minutes of the game. But The Archregimancy didn’t give up, and returned to attack until the last minutes of the game. But Cafundéu’s defense was great and stopped most attacks. But, with one minute remaining for the end of the game, a goal was scored. In a long ranged shot, a midfielder scored the goal for the monks, but the game ended with Cafundéu’s result. Read Breno Gavião:

“With this rrrrresult, Cafundéu is winning the qualification for the second rrrrround of the Worrrrrld Cup. But therrrrre arrrrre still some minutes to be played, so let’s be cautious. Long rrrrrranged shot... and it’s a goal! Unexpected! Goal for The Arrrrrchrrrrregimancy! The monk! The Arrrrrchrrrrregimancy two, Cafundéu three! Pens, pencil, papers and much morrrrre for school and worrrrrk. All these things you find at Papelarrrrrias Carrrrrvalho!”

AFTER THE GAME

After such a good result, the players and staff of the Cafundelense Seleção were excited with the qualification, and ready to talk with the media with a smile in their faces. The first to talk, as usual, was the coach, Júlio Vargas. He said: “Well, we played our best game so far in our whole World Cup history, simple. I couldn’t believe, but now I see that these players are extremely talented, much more than I imagined. We can keep the good work, to continue with a good performance in the World Cup.”

The players talked with the media too. One of them was the leader Anormal, who had a good game. He said: “Excellent game. For us, and for the supporters. They could see two good teams playing for the win, and, although our victory wasn’t the expected result, we never thought that we had no chances. They have a good team, but everything can happen in a game.” Dário said: “Yes, we are now in the second stage, but this doesn’t mean that we won’t play against Wentland with the same will. We want to win again.”

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/9823/semttulovw9.jpg
Cafundéu had an excellent performance

CAFUNDÉU 3x2 THE ARCHREGIMANCY

Place: Olímpico Imperial, in Lux.
Attendance: 80,000 people.
Referee: César Razel (Schiavonia).
MOTM: Heitor (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Barbosa (Doriva 80’), Rato (Wilson Magrão 80’) and Dário; Flecha (Ferreira 60’) and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_archregimancy.png THE ARCHREGIMANCY: anonymous team.

Goals:CAF: Heitor 12’/17’ , Toninho 74’.
ARC: Barbosa (own goal) 28’ , Midfield Monk 89’.

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Cafundéu – formation for the game against Wentland: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Barbosa, Rato and Dário; Tales and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Tulip Vazzos (The Lowland Clans).

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WC Goalscorers:

2- Rato and Heitor
1- Toninho

Squornshelous

15-08-2007, 03:50

Squornshelous fell just short of keeping up with Schiavonia in a very closely fought match. Goalkeeper Kustaa Paavalainen played very well, and was a big factor in keeping the match as even as it was. At the other end of the field, our attack was frustrated by very competently played defense from the Sloths, with the Pschychoes' only goal coming on a phenomenal shot by Roman Svoboda, taken from well outside the penalty area.

Schiavonia's unorthodox style of play, utilising highly specialized player roles kept the Squornshelan defense off balance for much of the match, and resulted in an early goal from "runner" forward Frank Lewis, who used his excellent pace to beat Gunnar Jonsson to a long ball from midfield and put it past the outstretched arms of Paavalainen.

As the match wore on, Squornshelous seemed to get somewhat of a handle on the Sloths' attack, and managed to limit their shots to the wings, or force them to shoot from long range. Paavalainen made his case for the WC37 starting job by superbly controlling most of these and making smart plays with his positioning to make saves easier for himself. Svoboda equalized about ten minutes before halftime and Squornshelous looked to be in quite good shape for the second half.

However, our attack just couldn't manage to string passes together in the second, mostly due to near perfect play from Sloths' "ball winning" midfielder Richie Winston and their center backs: Matthew Tilda and Carlos Cueto. The normal high powered Pschychoes attack was held to just two shots until the last ten minutes.

Schiavonia, on the other hand, poured it on. Whenever Squornshelous lost the ball, it was funneled away to the outsides and taken forward in counter attacks by either left back David Jones or right back Andy Bell. The Pschychoes defense simply couldn't deal with the constant pressure for the entire time, and "strength" forward James Hogan was able to guard the ball from Njord Fritjof long enough to get a solid shot off.

Squornshelous substituted Mikkula Kuivalainen on for Gunnar Jonsson, shifting to a 2-2-3-3 formation in a last ditch attempt to produce the equalizer, but Schiavonia sent on "ball winning" midfielder Jan Tomasson in place of Lewis in order to help defend against the desperate attack. The Sloths were able to hold off the Pschychoes, although goalkeeper Chris Howard was called upon to make a few saves, including a fantastic diving punch in stoppage time that preserved the win, much to the chagrin of Emil Jalmari, who had begun to put his arms up to celebrate.

Squornshelous will now see the return of Jaska Wirmann for their final match of the group stage against Qazox. Despite our position in the group, the outlook is not entirely grim. Qazox are on paper, the weakest team in the group, and while football isn't played on paper, we stand a better chance of beating them than we did either of the other two sides in this group. If Squornshelous can defeat the Pheonix (naturally, we see no dishonor in your misspelling) and get a little help from Schiavonia, we will find ourselves advancing in second place.

MD1: Squornshelous 3-3 The Holy Empire @ Noka Communications Stadium, Noka
MD2: Schiavonia 2-1 Squornshelous @ JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo
MD3: Squornshelous vs Qazox @ Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag

Jeruselem

15-08-2007, 04:21

Jeruselem Government News

I'm alright! says Dazza Dallas

Dazza Dallas after checking out of a local hospital in Cafundéu said to the waiting media
"Before anyone says it, I'm not expecting any children. I just fell out of bed and hit coffee table with my shoulder along the way. A rather painful experience, but the doctor says there is no problem. No damage, just a little inflamation but a bit of rest and no heavy lifting should fix that. I'll get a man to do all my heavy lifting jobs anyway. That's what men are for, you don't expect little women like me to go around lifting heavy objects do ya?"

When quizzed about the loss to Ariddia, she said
"The best expected was a draw but you know getting the result we did from being three nil down at half time was not bad. Anyway, my team need concentrate on the next game. We need to win and hope Ariddia beat Zwangzug, and hopefully beat them in a big way. Our draw against Zwangzug just totally messed up our plans, and we didn't expect to beat Ariddia anyway."

Reporters asking if she liked Cafundéu, they got the answer
"Nice place but a bit too much a socialist left pinkie to live here! Still, it's one of better places I've visited. And it's only place I know were people where these funny Haddock Gut bikinis. They aren't bad, but when they get wet they get a bit slimy on the skin, and a bit transparent. Don't bother me, but it might you aren't into nudity."

When asked if she's going retire quietly, she replied
"Retire quietly? More like die disgracefully. I don't want die in some nursing home alone. Dallas girls don't retire from life, they are always busy doing something even if it's totally pointless."

When local asked about her and Haddock, she smiled
"Me? I don't eat haddock. Not that we can get it in Jeruselem anyway but I'm not big fan of that fish anyway. I don't mind trout though. People think I use anything for perverted purposes but I don't. "

Qazox

15-08-2007, 04:48

New Qazian Press

Pheonix Still Alive for Second Round...Face Tough Test

The Holy Empire has been around almost forever, but on their long history of football, a comback like this one shocked them right out of the Dreamed Realm and into reality. The Holy Empire, whose hoax of using philosophers as players was a stroke of genius only thought up by the most inane of persons, managed to hold the Pheonix offense down quite well in the first half, but Qazox' defence held firm as well as both side entered the locker rooms tied at 0-0.

But with two good offensive teams slugging it out, it was only a matter of time before one managed to get on the board, and in the 66th minute, the seemingly immortal Juan Tzetzes, aka Jean Leopold, scored off a misplay by Ty Revee. Tzetzes, who, acoording to some reports actually played in the First World Cup, managed to slip past Revee on a throw in, as was 1-on-1 with Freel, who was beaten like a mule.

But Qazox seemed to gather strength from that goal and in the 75th minute, Tomas Richter got the Pheonix one the board for the first time this cup when his shot trickled past Andrew Dalassano, aka Jean Claude. Things seemed well in hand as Qazox contiuned to use their speed to frustrate the Holy Empire, but in the 82's minute, Ty Revee was given a red card for sliding into Basil Synadenuso, extremely hard. Synadenuso was ok, after walking around a bit to loosen up his hamstring, but Revee was sent off and the Pheonix seemed destined to lose the match.

In injury time, almost 9 minutes worth, Head Coach Fernando Turek, sent John Freel, the Goal keeper up to take a corner in the 93rd minute. Freel's kick was a bit high, but somehow, Yancy Fry managed to head it home to give Qazox a 2-1 lead. The Holy Empire shifted into their 3-3-4 and subbed a Constantine Porphyrogenito in to give them one more attacker for the next few minutes, while Qazox sent in Henry Hacker to shore up the defence. But the subs proved too little too late for the Holy Empire, as Qazox held onto the 2-1 win.

Up next is Sqournshelous, whom the Pheonix have never beaten in any of teh previous matches. All Qazox needs is a draw and either a Holy Empire loss or draw against Schiavonia and the team will advance to the next round. The big shock of the day was Oliverry, one of the heavy favorites was eliminated.

Match Summary:
66' Goal: The Holy Empire- Juan Tzetzes
75' Goal: Qazox- Tomas Richter
82' RC Qazox: Ty Revee
93' Goal: Qazox- Yancy Fry
Sub 93': The Holy Empire- Alexius Diogenes-Ducaso(out)/Constantine Porphyrogenito(in)
Sub 93':Henri Torabla(out)/Henry Hacker(in)

Shots:
The Holy Empire: 15
Qazox: 14

Corners:
The Holy Empire: 8
Qazox: 7

FOULS:
The Holy Empire: 2
Qazox: 8

Schiavonia

15-08-2007, 11:51

The Schiavone Scribe
Taking Things For Granted?

Schiavonia have powered their way to the knockout stages of World Cup 36 with a game against The Holy Empire to spare, thanks to some extremely convincing attacking play so far against Qazox and Squornshelous.

In a repeat of what we saw throughout qualifying, the Sloths attacking unit proved too much for both teams, giving them two wins out of two. The attacking play is thrilling fans all around the world. Well, almost.

You see, back home, Sloths fans are a bit confused as to how they should be reacting to their team's performances. While they've emerged from a potential "group of death" unscathed, people back home seem to be getting a bit bored with the Sloths winning every game. Winning every game but one in the cup campaign (losing to Estresse Intenso in qualifying) means that Schiavonia are one of the tournament's form teams, the third ranked team in the cup, and now must be one of the favourites.

And therein lies the problem. You see, Schiavonia's fans know that when the team start getting fancied, something gets to the team and they start to struggle. The key to their run to the semis last time seemed to be that nobody seemed to fancy them to do much. Now... well, it's back to usual.

And so, despite playing some of the best football seen at the cup so far, we've seen this kind of situation before. Schiavonia rush out of the blocks, then collapse hopelessly in the knockouts. A second round exit is almost being taken for granted.

So should we enjoy it while we can? In the past, of course. But as we've seen it so many times before, it just seems like another false dawn. Expect a Holy Empire win, then a blank from our attack over whoever we get next up.

We're far too predictable for anything else!

Errinundera

15-08-2007, 11:58

haimaidu's column from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) City News.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/FallsCityNews.gif

HIGH FIVES WITH HAIMAIDU

How do you do? It’s a rueful haimaidu.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/haimaidu.jpg

Milchama

Please don’t lynch me when I get home. This is my fourth World Cup and it’s already my worst. I’ve followed up a poor game against Sel Appa by giving away a penalty in the last minute of the game against Milchama. Flossmore equalised and thereby deprived the Potoroos of a quick progression to the second round. Now we have to win or draw against Quakmybush to be certain of going on. I had been so happy with my form during the qualifiers but I suppose the quality of the competition is so much higher once you get to the Proper. But, then, it’s not like I haven’t been here before.

Our gracious captain and superstar keeper, onito, says I made the correct choice. She told me that she was out of position and Flossmore would have scored anyway. It’s not much consolation all the same. The worse thing was the way he smiled at me after the penalty went into the back of the net. There’s a Tony Curtis movie where every time he smiles his teeth go BLING. Well, that was the sort of smarmy look I got from Flossmore. As we left the ground a minute or so later I asked him how Milchama’s qualifying was going. He gave me a sour look but it doesn’t make up for single-handedly throwing away a certain victory.

breretond scored another goal, again in the 23rd minute, to bring his tally for the campaign to 11 and 4 in the Proper. Don’t ask me what’s so special about the 23rd minute. It’s getting to the point that players and fans alike start looking out for him as the time clock ticks over. If I were the other team I’d put two defenders on him for that one minute of the game.

scerberu was sensational. She is finally back to the amazing form she displayed prior to her cruciate ligament giving way in the last World Cup. She dominated the midfield throughout the entire match. The defensive side of her game sometimes lets her down. Perhaps she’s ready for a return to the front half. Look out, people, if she does.

Despite the draw, Errinundera is on top of its group. As I said, a win against Quakmybush will ensure we don’t have an early trip home. A draw will also get us through because, thankfully, Milchama and Sel Appa can’t both get enough points to overtake us. A loss will be problematic. QMB would draw level on points. Depending on the result of the other match Sel Appa could draw ahead or level or Milchama could draw level. It would then come down to goal difference, I suppose. It could have been so much more simple if not for that one moment in today’s game.

More adventures outside

Since my last report the forest people in the team have ventured some more outside the teleport zone in Querzakhi. Although the tenements here are devoid of gardens some areas have tremendous pride in their surroundings. The day after the match against Sel Appa we discovered one such place that the locals call Zequeil. Walking down one of the narrow streets so typical of the city, we came across an apartment building where it became apparent that the residents had formed a working bee and were painting the outside. The scaffolding had been erected and dozens of people were furiously painting away.

As you would, we all lent a hand. The locals were taken aback at first but before long we were all singing along together and laughing as pale green paint sloshed everywhere. Afterwards there was a giant street party with just about the whole neighbourhood taking part. Everybody brought along their radios and tuned into the local underground commercial-free radio station. The street party turned into a dance party. The night was balmy so, as you would, everyone was soon in as state of partial or complete undress.

It seems that not all UCS is infatuated with material possessions. Some of them really know how to have fun. We all got multiple invitations to sleep overnight with our new friends so the wallabies and wombats at the zoo had to cope on their own. Actually we haven’t been back. Hearing of the welcome and sick of their dreary hotel life, the rest of the team arrived the following afternoon. The Zequeil Resident’s Association drew up a host roster and now we are staying with real people for the time being. Some of the younger members of the team have insisted on staying with the same host. I wonder why?

The Zequeilers tell us that land is so expensive in the UCS that only the very wealthy can afford the luxury of gardens. Some of them have arboretums of prodigious size and corporations occasionally provide garden areas for customers and, less frequently, staff. The general feeling among our new friends is that the motivation for having these gardens is to conspicuously display the owners’ wealth.

Two days ago we were introduced to an organisation called the Green Brigade. They are committed to creating an environmentally sustainable economy in the UCS. Some of the hotter headed members are calling for radical action. The local press claims they are responsible for a car bomb that exploded six months ago, but everyone we’ve met strenuously deny the GB had anything to do with it.

Tomorrow there is going to be a game of street football. Some of the Potoroos, including yours truly and onito, have agreed to play for one or other of the sides. To be honest, this is going to be more fun than a World Cup match (especially one where you give away a penalty.)

Hope we swim together in a river sometime. Haimaidu.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Milchama.png
Milchama 1
(Flossmore 90)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 1
(breretond 23)

Errinundera's WC36 scorers:
11 breretond
9 snaporoo
8 avilmou
7 immelfar
5 scerberu
3 otemki
2 froesu
1 agloir
1 ipieomenicu
1 onito
1 oovaroo

Tynelia

15-08-2007, 15:19

"Hello everyone and welcome back to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s coverage of the World Cup 36 itself. I’m Dinah Miller along with Amy Wentworth continuing Tynelia’s run in the 36th World Cup. Today Tynelia did what it had to do as it came away with an impressive 3-0 win over Commerce Heights JSY, to ensure they still remain alive for a spot in the knockouts. However with Commerce Heights 2-0 win over Vilita the team has a bit of a climb ahead of them wouldn’t you say Amy?”

“Certainly Dinah. We’re tied with Vilita in points but because of their win over us we must finish ahead of them in points in order to move on. To do that we pretty much have to win our match with Commerce Heights proper while hoping that CH JSY managed to break into the scoring column and do some damage against Vilita. I mean we could move on with a draw and a Vilita loss but the way JSY has been playing that’s not too likely. However a win almost clinches us a berth no matter what Vilita does because that would put us at 6 points with CH proper and just as Vilita beats us via a head to head tiebreaker we’d do the same to CH. The fly in that ointment would be if both we and Vilita win making it a three way tie with 6 points and with everyone beating everyone else head to head records go out the window. I think goal differential would be next and we have a slight lead on Vilita there but they are much more likely to win big than we are so we may find ourselves on the outside looking in as well.”

“That was a mouthful Amy. So basically no matter what we do other than lose we may or may not advance to the knockouts. If we lose we’re done period.”

“Pretty much Dinah.”

“OK then let’s get back to today’s match. A goal by Tina Conroy and Lyle Burke in the first half got us up early and Marcus Dalton finished the scoring in the second half for us. Mandy Martin had a good game in net turning away every JSY scoring effort in getting a big shutout for us to recover our goal differential from the opening match loss.”

“Yes it was vital to get some points if only to improve on our 1 point effort last Cup. On the other hand this is familiar territory for Tynelia. In now three of our four cups we’ve had a slim chance to move on in the final match day and also for the third time we’re at the three point mark in group play. Hopefully this will result in a upward bump up the rankings for us when they are announced.”

“OK Amy, now it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The #1 moment in Tynelian soccer history. The only one bigger than last program’s #2 moment when we won our first and only group in the qualifiers in WC 33 with 45 points. This one has to be obvious to everyone due to everything that happened there. I mean of course our 1-0 win over the then number one team in the world Krytenia in the first match of WC 33’s group play.”

“That’s right Dinah, a major event for many reasons, and poor Krytenia, this is the second time they’ve found themselves in one of our top moments. Maybe that’s why they dropped out of international play. But yes, that match was Tynelia’s first ever in the World Cup proper. Was the first World Cup match Jay Masterson after seven tries finally got to play in and was even given the start in honor of the event despite being relgated to a late substittion’s role through the qualifiers. And to top it off It was Masterson, now the team Coach of course, who tallied the lone goal for the team. Fitting that Tynelia’s all time leading scorer be the first one to score for Tynelia in the Cup proper. That also turned out to be Masterson’s last goal in international play as he finally retired to become the team’s coach after that Cup concluded.”

“A great moment for everyone who watched it. I admit I got a bit teary eyed when Coach Masterson was carried off the field after the match was over. But now its time to look at Commerce Heights. Top seed in the group and showing no signs of rust despite little playing time as a result of their hosting duties. Five scored and none allowed. Can we beat them Amy?”

“Well I would think that CH would be due to give up a goal and as far as we are concerned this is the perfect time for it. Can we beat them? Well we weren’t supposed to beat Krytenia either and the team pulled it off. However I don’t think history will repeat itself here. It’ll be a decent match but we go down 2-1 to end another 3 point group stage of the World Cup.”

“You’re too pessimistic Amy, I say we do get a point. I don’t think we win but I think we can get a draw. 1-1 and then Vilita gets upset by JSY and we move on to the knockouts!”

“And face ESF…again.”

“Oh… well, um that’s all the time we have to today heh heh. Tune into TSN’s live coverage of our match with Commerce heights as we try to get that elusive berth in the knockouts and as a special bonus we will have cameras set up for the Vilita match with CH JSY and so we will be able to bring live updates from that important match as well. Then Amy and I will be back here to sort everything out after. Have a pleasant evening everyone.

<Elsewhere>
<monks chanting in chorus>: We thank you O Lord of Scores. And thy pro-phet-ess Mar-gar-et. Thy bounty was generous and our score was mi-ghty. We revel in this sign of thy mer-cy. And hope that once more thou shalt reward us who served thee so faith-ful-ly. Grant us they blessings against the hosts of the tour-ney. And show that thy path is the true one al-ways. Amen.

Brother James: Yes O Lord of Scores, the Hippos was mighty this day to serve your path. Show the heathen that it is thy truth that shall lead us to victory over thy foes. And grant us victory in this next match day.

Brother Michael: And so too do not stint thy blessings to those souls of JSY. They surely have learned their lesson when thou hast turned thy face from them in our match. They will have seen thy light O Lord of Scores. Let the prophetess Margaret bless their feet with accuracy that their shots against the unbelievers of Vilita strike true in thy name.

Brother James: And too turn thy wrath to they who would persecute us for preaching thy truth. Turn thy blessings away from the Archregimancy that they may not advance as a sign of thy displeasure for their persecution of the righteous.

Other monks: So let it come to pass O Lord.

All: Amen.

Bettia

15-08-2007, 16:18

The Enlightener: it's a better dealings than your current dealings
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.png

Aroras Take The High Road

Bettia..................................4 (P.Busilanta 30, B.Busilanta 38, Johnstone 67 83)
The Lowland Clans........0

After their stunning display in the Bostopia match, The Enlightener's sports correspondant was left hoping for 'for more of the same' from Bettia - it would seem the Aroras were only to happy to oblige as they put in a crushing performance to book their place in the Last 16 and seal their place as group winners.

Despite a cautious start which saw precious little action in the first twenty minutes, the Aroras never looked troubled and they slowly established a grip on the game. Frank Myfanwy came close to firing in a stunner when his thirty-yard effort skimmed the crossbar, and Suparpatra, normally at home in front of his own goal, rifled in a header which Clans goalkeeper Julian Black did well to keep out.

However, Black soon turned from hero to villain after gifting Bettia the lead on the half-hour mark. After the Aroras had exerted a period of pressure in the Galaxy's half, Frank Myfanwy launched a long throw into the area which Black seemed to have covered. Unfortunately for his teammates, he fumbled what should have been a simple catch and the ball fell to the feet of Peri Busilanta. Celebrating the FAB's announcement shortly before the game that he and his brothers were being inducted into the Footballers Hall of Fame, the veteran striker could hardly miss as he stroked the ball into the open net.

Not to be outdone, his two siblings did their best to get in on the act. Budi and Peri linked up well in the centre before putting Andi through on goal with a defence-splitting pass, only to see his shot curl agonisingly wide. However, with the amount of play Bettia were enjoying at this period in time, it wasn't long before their lead was doubled, and it was doubled in emphatic style too. After intercepting a loose pass in the centre circle, Ariel Haynes found Budi Busilanta in some space just in front of him. After turning, he looked as though he was shaping up to play the ball wide, but instead he unleashed a ferocious shot from all of 35 yards which looped over Black's head and into the goal via the post.

Into the second half and Bettia continued to dominate, only allowing their opponants a couple of half-chances. Midway through the half, manager Amir Bettison took the Busilanta brothers off and replaced them with the younger trio of Evan Miranda, Don Johnstone and Charlie Higgins, and they didn't waste any time carrying out where the triplets had left off - three minutes to be exact, for that was the time needed for Johnstone for fire in his first goal in the green and gold thanks to a goalmouth scramble following a poorly-cleared corner.

After that third goal, Bettia took their foot off the gas a little, and the Clans responded by briefly threatening with a few efforts on target. Hamilton did particularly well, forcing a good save out of Chris Swift much to the delight of the local fans in this, his home stadium. However, the Bettian strikers were done for the day, and it was Don Johnstone who put the cherry on the pie by claiming his brace, albeit in rather fortunate fashion. The ever-dangerous Evan Miranda collected the ball from midfield, charging towards goal before hitting a difficult deflected shot which Black could only parry into the path of the Hyppo Fernley striker, who made no mistake despite the close attentions of his marker David Heath.

And so the Aroras come away from their first two games having claimed six points out of six and now sit proudly on top of Group G. The only team who could equal them on points now are The Lowlands Clans, but thanks to this result Bettia are assured top spot on their head-to-head record. The Maracatuzão has proven to be a happy hunting ground for the Aroras, so they'll be sorry to leave as they must now travel to the city of Astari to face their old rivals Turori, a team who will probably come out all guns blazing as they harbour hopes of reaching the next round themselves, assuming they win and The Lowlands Clans don't.

Elsewhere, Az-cz tumbled to a 0-3 defeat at the hands of Demot and now must better their opponant's result in their last game against group leaders (and Bettia's qualifying opponents) Bazalonia. Jeruselem face an even harder task after going down 1-2 to Ariddia. With a three-point gap and an inferior goal difference, the former finalists must hope for a big win coupled with a Zwangzug defeat.

Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT................VENUE...RESULT

First Round, Group G

01: Bostopia................Dunboor...W 5-1
02: The Lowland Clans.......Dunboor...W 4-0
03: Turori..................Astari....

Qualifying Group 5

FR: Az-cz...................HOME......W 3-2
01: Spruitland..............Away......L 1-2
02: Dance 2 Revolution......HOME......W 4-2
03: Shackfold...............Away......W 6-1
04: Kansiov.................HOME......W 7-2
05: Green wombat............Away......L 2-4
06: TT Lake Side............Away......W 2-0
07: Bazalonia...............HOME......W 3-2
FR: Az-cz...................Away......L 1-3
08: Spruitland..............HOME......W 4-0
09: Dance 2 Revolution......Away......W 3-0
10: Shackfold...............HOME......W 5-1
11: Kansiov.................Away......W 6-1
12: Green wombat............HOME......W 4-0
13: TT Lake Side............HOME......W 5-1
14: Bazalonia...............Away......D 2-2

Wentland

15-08-2007, 21:17

Norman Hacker was ecstatic. A two-one win over The HURD had put the Swifts within touching distance of the next round, albeit with a tough game against Cafundeu to come. Hacker could only hope that the already qualified opponents would take things a bit easier.

However, the Wentland press did not report the event. The Union of Electron Accelerators and Proton Smashers protested were subject to an injunction from the Protest for the Ethical Treatment of Subatomic Particles, an organization that considered quarks to be living creatures. As a result, electricity was banned and the presses halted. It was hoped that a counterclaim from the All Leptons Are Bastards sect would make elctricity compulsory, but that would be too late for the the HURD match.

Jeruselem

16-08-2007, 01:43

Dazza Dallas and Daughters Fan Club Newsletter

Edition 6135

Hello Dazzettes and Dazverts! Sorry, ladies and gentleman!

It's Nikki here, writing to loyal fans of the bike and her little clones. The death of Rashina Dallas has been felt here at Dazza HQ, and I think we all need a little time to ponder our own morality. No need to get depressed but we are all mortal.

So the boss has asked us to help cheer up Rocky Pointy Stick and his two kids. They will be guests of honour at our fan club and we expect members to attend to help the Dallas family out here. While Kate, Hikfie and Dazza will not be there since they are at the World Cup, the rest of the family will be there including little Jacinta Dallas.

In these times of death, we should get together and think about how we can make the world a better place. While we are there, we'll be watching both the Ariddia vs Zwangzug and Jeruselem vs Athiestic Right games live! Alcoholic drinks will be available later in the night, for those who like to stagger around drunk and pick up equally drunk dates. We won't be serving alcohol to kids.

Oh, if you don't live in Jeruselem you can watch the web cast on our web site of this event instead of being there.

And as a big bonus, Kate's boyfriend is turning up! Yes, the big boy with all power is going be there with us serfs but he's on our side. We also invited a few Ariddians around too, that's the few Ariddians in Jeruselem who aren't related to Dazza Dallas.

Don't worry about security, the Crown Prince is bringing along his team so we'll be alright. You know, those guys in black with nice big guns to put holes in the bad guys. I'd rather not be writing to you about this event as you all know we'd rather have our Rashina Dallas back and back into the World Cup 36 team but it's not reality. So don't sit around at home, come to this event because you paid for it with your membership fees.

Royalty, two World Cup 36 games and a tribute to Rashina Dallas. Don't miss it. Cheer on the Crusaders because we'll need a bit of luck to get our team across the line. Rashina Dallas maybe gone but she's up there cheering on the rest of the team even if we can't see her.

Nikki Seabourne
VP of Dazza Dallas and Daughters Fan Club

Elves Security Forces

16-08-2007, 02:22

Elven Times
Flying Through

Two games, six points, four goals for, one again, and a spot in the Round of Sixteen is already secured, a perfect scenario for the Marauders and their faithful. With the place in the next round secure, Constant is once again resting his "star" players in the final group stage match against Fmjphoenix. Fans in Yafor 2 will not be happy as they need the squad to take out the Fmj squad as well as win their own fixture against the struggling Frenchies to make it to the second round. When asked if he was somehow trying to give the Fmjphoenix squad an advantage in the qualifying, Constant assured us that this was not the case.

"Now see here, I would never do something as dispecable as that. However, I am resting some of my starters as I don't want to risk injury to them in the final game when we already have our spot in the next round and do not need to risk it. If this gives Yafor 2 a disadvantage, then so be it, that is footy for you. Yet if they do their business, they have their shot to get into the next round just as Fmjphoenix does by trying to knock us down off of our pedistal."

Of those sitting out will be Kiso Night, Jere Jannian, and Jacob St. Louis to be replaced by Edward van Posey, Dorian Sonja, and Anti Fresco. With Posey getting some time in the latter stages of the qualifying, he should have that taste of international football and be able to handle the pressure. Statistically, he has been the best goalkeeper in the EPL over the last decade, but with less stellar saves than the St. Louis brothers. We all know that Fresco is a rising talent, and any fan of FC Longview can tell you that Sonja's crosses and set pieces are first class. With the pressure off the squad however, there might be a lax attitude in the match, that might very well invite the oppisition into thinking that they can take those points.

Be that as it may, it didn't take much to knock down Oliverry, as the French fashioned side has already been eliminated from moving on in the competition. Kiso Night converted a penalty in the twnety-second minute after Paul Le Roy took down Cuellar from behind and was the last man between Cuellar and the goal, leaving the referee no choice but to send him to an early shower. The goal gave Oliverry a temporary injection of life in which Bertrand Lagassé converted into a talley in the twenty-ninth minute to even things up. It would all go downhill from there as Jannian would deposit one into the netting in the fifty second on a free kick just outside the area, that went underneath the wall and caught the keeper napping on the near post. Jaques came close to extending the lead in the sixty-seventh minute, when he got a great header on target from a corner, but Webb came up with a remarkable save to steal a goal from the Oliverrian League product. Laborious Hawk would cement the deal when Ceullar set him up after dancing around Gibeau in the corner, and sending in the low cross right on his feet that Hawk one touched right past the keeper. Songs erupted from the elven portion of the crowd and went well over an hour after the match had concluded. And they had something to sing about, with the other result showing on the scoreboard when injury time was put up, the stadium knew the squad was on its way, like the golden eagle, flying gracefully through its domain, with no one their to challange its supierority.

Elves Security Forces 3
Kiso Night (22) PK
Jere Jannian (52)
Laborious Hawk (82)

Oliverry 1
Bertrand Lagassé (29)
Paul Le Roy [] (20)

Scorers
Kiso Night 12
Laborious Hawk 11
Nikali Rikard 7
Xanxz 5
Jere Jannian 5
Anti Fresco 2
Cristi Kries 2
Rick Cuellar 1

Schedule
Proper
MD1: ESF-Yafor 2 1-0
MD2: ESF-Oliverry 3-1
MD3: ESF-Fmjphoenix

Qualifying
MD1: ESF v Kampfers 2-0
MD2: Tylero v ESF 0-2
MD3: ESF v Assegai Developments 3-1
MD4: ESF v Ad'ihan 3-0
MD5: Tynelia v ESF 1-5
MD6: ESF v Aurendia 6-0
MD7: The Sons of a Monkey v ESF 0-1
MQF: Elves Security Forces v Squornshelous 4–1
MD8: Kampfers v ESF 0-3
MD9: ESF v Tylero 0-1
MD10: Assegai Developments v ESF 1-4
MD11: Ad'ihan v ESF 0-3
MD12: ESF v Tynelia 3-1
MD13: Aurendia v ESF 0-0
MD14: ESF v The Sons of a Monkey 6-1

Article by Luna Santapa

Zwangzug

16-08-2007, 03:58

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram
Football basics--no funds for links.

Q is for qualification
Many matchdays winnow
A top thirty squad
Out from a n00b minnow.

(Also, if Frosticans look at this, haddock would look good in our staffroom.)

R is for robots.
With bananas, plastic
Animals and monks around?
Not all that drastic.

S is for Spaam
Which lost two finals, and
Got in a scandal, but its
Flag iconry's grand.

T is for Thirty-Sixth
As this cup is. May
Many follow it in
Continuing play!

U is for Ulzaxid
Origin of things
That can morph various
Gills, arms, or wings.

V is for victory
A goal of all squads
Possibly brought about
By random (or Orthodox) god(s).

W is for World Cup
A culmination
Of footballing skills
From many a nation.

X is for X
A strand of DNA
Half of humanity has two
And a cup in which to play.

The Archregimancy

16-08-2007, 08:09

THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE ARCHREGIMANCY

Upon Facing Yet Another Futile Failed Attempt to Get Past the Second Round (or Even the Group Stage), Despite Being a Top Ten Team:

How doth the team sit solitary, that was supported by many people! How is the squad become as a widower! That which was great among the nations, and prince among the World Cup, how are they become tributary!

The squad weepeth sore in the night, and their tears are on their cheeks: among all their supporters there are none to comfort them: all their friends have dealt treacherously with them, and are become supporters of Cafundéu.

Their chances of reaching the knock-out stages have vanished because of affliction, and because of great servitude: they dwelleth among the heathen, they findeth no rest: all their persecutors overtook them within the tournament.

The ways of Zion do mourn, because none come to the solemn feasts: all the defenders are desolate: their midfielders sigh, the forwards are afflicted, and the goalkeeper is in bitterness.

The squad's adversaries are the chief, its enemies prosper; for the LORD hath afflicted them for the multitude of her transgressions.

And from the squad of monastic footballers all happiness is departed: our players are become like harts that find no pasture, and they are gone without strength before the pursuer.

The squad remembered in the days of their affliction and of their miseries all the pleasant results from qualifying days of old, but the team fell into the hand of the enemy, and none did help them: the adversaries saw them, and did mock at their sabbaths.

The squad hath grievously sinned; therefore it is removed: all that honoured them despise them, because they have seen their weakness: yea, they sigheth, and turneth backward.

The adversary hath spread out their hand upon all the squad's pleasant things: for they hath seen that the heathen score into their goal.

All our supporters sigh, they seek succor; they have given their pleasant things for meat to relieve the soul: see, O LORD, and consider; for they are become vile.

Is it nothing to you, all ye that pass by? behold, and see if there be any sorrow like unto the Archregimancy's sorrow, which is done unto our team, wherewith the LORD hath afflicted us in the day of his fierce anger.

From above hath he sent fire into our bones, and it prevaileth against us: he hath spread a net for the opponents to score into, he hath turned the squad back: he hath made them desolate and faint all the day.

The yoke of their transgressions is bound by his hand: they are wreathed, and come up upon the squad's necks: he hath made their strength to fall, the LORD hath delivered the team into their hands, from whom they are not able to rise up.

The LORD hath trodden under foot all the Archregimancy's mighty men: he hath called an assembly to crush our young men: the LORD hath trodden the squad, the sons of the Archregimancy, as in a winepress.

For these things we weep; our eyes, our eyes runneth down with water, because the comforter that should relieve our souls is far from me: our squad is desolate, because the enemy prevailed.

The squad spreadeth forth their hands, and there is none to comfort them: the LORD hath commanded that their adversaries should be round about them.

The LORD is righteous; for we have rebelled against his commandment: hear, we pray you, all people, and behold our sorrow: our squad and our officials are gone into defeat.

We called upon the referee and his assistants, but they deceived us: our substitutes gave up the ghost in the city of Lux, while they sought their meat to relieve their souls.

Behold, O LORD; for we are in distress: our bowels are troubled; our hearts are turned within us; for we have grievously rebelled: abroad the goals bereaveth, at home there is as death.

They have heard that we sigh: there is none to comfort us: all our enemies have heard of our trouble; they are glad that thou hast done it: thou wilt bring the day that thou hast called, and they shall be like unto us.

Let all their wickedness come before thee; and do unto them, as thou hast done unto us for all our transgressions: for our sighs are many, and our hearts are faint.

Amen

Alasdair I Frosticus

16-08-2007, 08:21

IT'S.... THE WORLD CUP SHOW

With Basil and Theo!

"If you're anything like me, Basil, you don't really want to discuss football tonight."

"Not really, Theo.... losing to an injury time goal to a ten man Qazox - well, that really is adding insult to injury time. All we have to do now is beat Schiavonia. HA! I knew the squad should have kept pretending to be philosophers. I knew they gave the game away too soon. Anyway, what shall we talk about instead?"

"Well, how about the sudden surge in popularity of everyone's favourite fish - the HADDOCK!"

"Ooooooh..... what a brilliant idea, Theo. Say, what if we spend the rest of the show writing a poem about the mighty haddock."

"Fantastic idea, Basil, because I'm sure everyone loves haddock as much as we do."

"Absolutely, Theo, there's nothing trendier than haddock right now. They're all the rage! It's haddock or nothing where I live!"

"Brilliant then. So, let's just take a moment to write this up. What do you know about haddock anyway, Basil?"

"I think they're big and bloodthirsty. And like soy sauce."

"Are you sure?"

"Do you know any better?"

<ten minutes later>

THE HADDOCK

A poem by Basil And Theo

The haddock is a mighty fish
It swings from tree to tree
And feeds upon koala meat
And hummingbirds and bees

I wish I were a haddock!
So graceful as it swims!
Its blood-stained fangs are razor-sharp
It stands upon two fins

So I shall praise the haddock
Our fishy pride and joy
Its ample frame is six feet long
Its favourite sauce is soy.

Az-cz

16-08-2007, 11:34

Amda-Mo: Well Il-Lur looks right at this point as a 3-0 loss to Demot all but destroys are qualifying chances.

Lur-Mn: Brutal. I guess the third time was the charm for them as they are now in position to send us home, just as we did to them in World Cups 33 and 35.

Amda-Mo: So what happened out there today?

Lur-Mn: Chaos. We were totally outscored, out efforted, out gutted, and outplayed. We were crap. Demot hit us for two quick goals and we folded.

Amda-Mo: Why couldn't we break through?

Lur-Mn: It's hard for us to score when other teams are really packing the box. We need space for our plays and we couldn't get it cause we were behind the whole game.

Amda-Mo: Why did we give up the goals so early then?

Lur-Mn: Unbelievably enough, mental errors. It's just enexcusable for players to get as open as the players who scored the first two Demot goals got. It was just horrible.

Amda-Mo: Does that mean this was a coaching problem?

Lur-Mn: You know, I hate to say it, but it was. I love Zax-Im and I'm gonna give him more time, but I'm not sure he's the coach to take us to the next level. We haven't made any progress since the duo of Khim and Hawdon left.

Amda-Mo: But do you think it's fair to hold them to a standard that demands better performances then the quarterfinals?

Lur-Mn: Yes, I do. Ariddia and Bettia have found a way to be a succesful team. And look at the job Hawdon is doing in Bazalonia. It really looks like they're about to take the leap.

Amda-Mo: Speaking of our old coach his squad is up next. How do you see that match?

Lur-Mn: Hard to say. The motivation for our side must be at absolute max. If we can't find a way to win and get some help form Estresse Intenso Pizelkaxrovsky's last cup will end in shame. But the Bazalonian side will be looking for revenge, and they're on form. I fear that we'll only find a draw and Demot will take care of business sending us home and tumbling down the rankings with our best player retiring.

Amda-Mo: That bleak eh?

Lur-Mn: That depends. If you're content being a good but not great team, no. But if you think Az-cz ought to bring home a crown the way we have in basically everything else, then yes, it's troubling.

Amda-Mo: How about views from the other groups?

Lur-Mn: Well the audioslavian curse is in full effect as us, Jeruselem and Milchama are all in difficult positions at this point, despite our good performances in qualifying. And suprisingly both Qazox and Zwangzug sit in positions to move on at this point.

Amda-Mo: Well we're clearly not going to be up there, but which teams actually comprise our top six at this point?

Lur-Mn:

6. Bazalonia

Well our next opponents are currently the last team on this list. Which means we've got an incredibly tough road to travel to survive. We know we can beat them but we'll have to play our best. They beat Demot where we failed and posted the exact same 2-0 win over Estresse Intenso.

5. Commerce Heights

Taking advantage of home field they've dominated both matches, scoring 5 without reply. It's almost a lock that they'll join Cafundeu in advancing to the second round.

4. Schiavonia

Despite being in what was considered to be one of the toughest groups Schiavonia is flat rolling. They've already beaten both Squornshelous and the Holy Empire and have just Qazox between them and a perfect group stage.

3. Elves Security Forces

No suprise to see the Elves here as they continue their fine run of form by trouncing Oliverry and sending the Frenchies home early. They've shown their skill all tournament long and are the best bet to break the Ariddia-Bettia lock.

2. Ariddia

However that lock looks strong in place as Ariddia is going strong. They picked up a big win against Jeruslem that locked them into the next round. They look like they've finally moved past the draw doldrums, something no one else wanted to see, except Il-Lur who predicted them to win it all.

1. Bettia

But it's the Bettians who still are in the top spot. They have an absolutely astonishing plus 8 goal differential right now, following up the brutilization of Bostopia with a licking on the Lowland Clans 4-0. It's that kind of skill and determination that's won them two titles in the last three cups and could move them into the rarified air of just Bedistan and Rejistania.

Amda-Mo: Did you notice that interesting pattern of your rankings?

Lur-Mn: No. What?

Amda-Mo: Well the precup #1 is still #1. The same goes for 2nd, 3rd and 4th place. Unfortunately we break the spell as we are not in the fifth spot we should be occupying.

Lur-Mn: Yeah, well after that total shellacking it's hardly a suprise.

Amda-Mo: Everyone come on back. The team will need all the support it can get as it fights for its tournament life and tries to extend the careers of three Az-czid legends.

Demot

16-08-2007, 17:58

Demot Daily ~ Get It Done

After a very dissapointing start to the Proper, falling to our friends in Bazalonia, it was another friend of the Dynamo that would boost their chances for proceeding on. The Gnomes of Az-cz who have defeated the Dynamo in all their previous senior team matches were the second round of group play. And we finnaly got our revenge on our good friends, sending them back to the drawing board with an emphatic three to nil victory, all but ensuring the squad a spot in the next round if they take care of business against Estresse Intenso. It is highly expected that the Dynamo should easily take out the Cafundeu neighbors and move on, but Masteron is taking no chances, having the squad spend any free time off the training fields studying the fild of their games against Az-cz and Bazalonia, who both defeath them two to nil.

A real key to the the success of the Demot squad this tounament has been the reamergance of May Maryweather as a world class striker. Having performed below expectactions in the last tournament, some were wondering the lady could live up to the building she had created in the DPL. It was her stellar strike that broke the Az-cz confidence early and then having the vision to find a completely unmarked Vorca in the sixteenth minute to crush the morale of the Gnomes really was the difference in the game. Granted Stark had a great goal in the second half, but those early strikes really were what did Az-cz in and allowed the Dynamo to dictate the game from start to finish, really not allowing the Gnomes anything but some half chances. It might be that Az-cz's unorthodox strikerless formation that help allow the domination, but with a squad the caliber of Az-cz, you still have to do you best to get a victory and then just be spectacular for a result like that. With a performance like that, and then a repeat against Estresse Intenso, this squad just might be primed for another amazing run deep into the knockouts as it was back in World Cup 33.

Demot 3
May Maryweather (7)
Edmund Vorca (16)
Tony Stark (57)

Az-cz 0

Article by Trevor Winston

New Manhattan

16-08-2007, 18:45

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc36.png
AEROPAG, JI · 0.10 g Au · 162–02–06
Buy the official Capitalizt SLANI inflatable haddock for only 2 g Au! One-day shipping available!

World Cup: Jungle Cats succumb to SLANI juggernaut
소코지토 도시, 소코 (SOKOJITO DOSI, SK)—Capitalizt SLANI goalkeeper Abúndia Tqaperena kept his clean sheet in the World Cup, making several saves to help the Capitalizts defeat Vilita today at the Sokojito Überdome. At the other end of the field, the SLANI midfielders were able to effectively keep the ball away from the Jungle Cats, and were able to set up both goals.

The match between the two top-ten teams got off to an unexpectedly poor start, as neither team was able to control the ball well on the somewhat wet artificial surface. After each team had made an unsuccessful attempt at the goal, the first bookings of the game came in the sixteenth minute, when 강상상 (Gaŋ Saŋ-Saŋ) and Karel Prochazka pushed each other while challenging for the ball and were both cautioned. Another card came out for the Jungle Cats, this time shown to Karadeniz Latif, for striking the ball with his upper arm in order to keep the ball, passed by Herbert Münzer, away from a well-positioned Morten Wiedemeyer. The resulting free kick near the penalty area was chipped in by Παντελῆς Χρουσαλὰ (Pantelī̂s Chroysalà) for a 1–0 Capitalizt SLANI lead.

The Capitalizts played defensively after the goal—or at least as defensively as a Bolúfero-led team can play—and were able to stop the allegedly higher-ranked Jungle Cats from achieving a second shot on goal during the half, though at the expense of getting very few opportunities themselves. Arguably their best was a header by Enrika Peratá, who had started in place of the injured Hartenholm, that bounced off the crossbar and would have gone in had it not struck the head of Vilita goalkeeper Hagen Tews, who was not expecting the ball and had to be treated by the physio; fortunately for the Jungle Cats, Edries Matijane was able to clear the ball before the Capitalizts’ front four could reach it. The score at halftime was 1–0 in favor of SLANI.

In the second half, Capitalizt SLANI seemed to be attempting to make the game as boring as possible for the four hundred thousand spectators. Though they maintained their four-striker formation, the strikers received few passes. They did, however, maintain over 60% of possession in the second half. In the final quarter-hour, Vilita pulled forward in a desperate attempt at the equalizer, but their hopes were shattered by Hartenholm, who came on as a substitute in the eightieth minute and, four minutes later, put the result beyond doubt by putting his boot into a pinpoint pass by Timotheus James, hitting the back of the net for the fourth time this Cup. Two–zero remained the score at the final whistle.

The result makes the Capitalizts’ advancement to the second round virtually certain, as it would require both Capitalizt teams to lose their final match and for Tynelia and Vilita to achieve a favorable tiebreaker on goal differential or goals scored (or, if Tynelia wins by two, Vilita wins by three, and the Capitalizt teams score the same number of goals, for Tynelia and Vilita to achieve a favorable drawing of lots). “We’re not opening the champagne early,” said manager Alejandro Bolúfero. “There’s still ninety minutes on Friday between us and a second-round spot.”

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/matchsummary/wc361r/com/vil/

New Manhattan

16-08-2007, 19:51

Matchday 3 RP cutoff

MD3 scores: Cafundéu groups (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12971983&postcount=25) · UCS groups (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12972586&postcount=26)

Bostopia

16-08-2007, 22:02

[Conway] Bostopia win here but we’re still awaiting results from the Bettia –v- Turori game. Remember, Turori must NOT win for Bostopia to go through.

A supporter suddenly runs over to Kelly Firth, and whispers a score in her ear, the delight visible on the face of both supporter and Kelly, who jumps and punches the air as she runs out to the players

[Avery] ONE ALL! BOSTOPIA GO THROUGH TO THE SECOND ROUND! THEY PLAY ARIDDIA AT THE PRESÍDIO IN CARINDURÚ CITY!

[Conway] What an absolute RESULT for Bostopia, Stuart Flambriff’s 9th minute goal, before Harry Auderrie got the goal and the win in the 87th minute. Oh, we can go down to Kelly Firth now with reporter Hayley Reanfeld.

The TV pictures switch to show Kelly Firth surrounded by her players, as the noise of the Bostopian fans celebrating a wonder result over The Lowland Clans

[Reanfeld] Kelly, congratulations, Bostopia are through to the second round, playing Ariddia by the way, how did you do it?

[Firth] System Imdila!

[Reanfeld] I’m sorry, what?

[Firth] Basically, the 4-4-2. It’s worked for us so many times before in big games, the win over Errinundera, Northern Bettia, and today against way superior opposition. And of course, the Bostopian people and everyone else across the world who keeps a look out for our results are owed a great debt of thanks, that support is priceless to the team.

[Reanfeld] Do you expect to beat Ariddia?

[Firth] Our players have today and many times before shown that on their day, they could beat any team in the world. If we play to our best, we have our chances. Of course, Ariddia are a strong team, so all I’ll ask of my players is we play to our best and we take our chances, which they will do, as they have done on many occasion.

[Reanfeld] So a statement of expectation there from Kelly, and with that, it’s back to the studio.

Jeruselem

17-08-2007, 00:08

Man: Hello, who's in charge here?
Dinkie: Not me, you have to talk to Dazza Dallas.
Man: I want to talk a man in charge, not a woman.
Dinkie: Suit yourself, Dazza's the one to talk to.

Man: Hey, are you the coach?
Sark: Me? No, I'm the just the assistant coach.
Man: Oh come on! Woman coaches! Who was the Jewish girl?
Sark: The team captain? Why?

Man: She doesn't look like any team captain.
Sark: What does a team captain look like then?
Man: A tall strong man, who doesn't take orders from women.
Sark: The women are in charge around here.

Dazza: Hey, what's going on!
Sark: He wants to talk the man in charge around here.
Man: You're in charge? You look like the team whore!
Dazza: I am, but I'm still in charge so what you want?

Man: Oh, I want to complain about the Jeruselem fans.
Dazza: Our fans are well behaved. They don't run around burning down buildings or beat people up in gangs like some other fans do. They might get a bit annoying when they are drunk but most fans are like that.
Man: No, it's not that. I want complain about something else.
Dazza: I'm all ears.

Man: Your girls dress like whores! Skirts like that one you are wearing or those short tight jeans, the tops which barely adequate and they are always sticking themselves in front of cameras. Can't the men of your nation keep then under control? Where's the modesty these days.
Dazza: Hey, these are football girls not nuns or church-going virgins. The people you talk about don't travel around the world to watch our team, they stay at home.
Sark: Football girls are a different breed, like the coach here.
Man: All I can say is your team and fans are disgrace to your nation. Girls like that should be banned from going out in public! (points to Kate Dallas)

Sark: That's the coach's daughter.
Man: I don't care who that is, she should be locked up at home.
Dazza: Hey, you leave my daughter of this.
Man: I know I'm right and you should leave her at home. Daughters should be locked up at home or married off.

(A large fish knocks the man out)

Kate: That should shut him up!
Dazza: Is that a Haddock?
Kate: Yes, why?
Dazza: It's lot bigger than I thought they were. What are you doing with a Haddock?

Kate: I don't know. Some guy just gave me a box of Haddock! They are frozen solid.
Dazza: Well, let's cook them up. Not worth wasting them.
Sark: What about Mr Morals here?
Dazza: Just sit him down over there and put his hands down his pants.

Sel Appa

17-08-2007, 01:17

"ANNNNNNNNNND THAT'S A ONE-ALL DRAW! THE TURTLES GO THROUGH!!!! An absolutely excellent match has ended with Sel Appa going to the Round of 16 against 2nd ranked Schiavonia."

Puiké launched a fist in the air and yelled JEAH! A die-hard fan, he was ecstatic seeing Sel Appa go through to the Round of 16. Now they faced a huge giant: Schiavonia. Could they win? he thought. They have no positive record against Schiavonia, but times had changed. The Turtles had improved quite a bit and were probably pumped. A quarterfinal spot would be amazing, he continued to think.

Football had always been a big thing for Puiké. Like all Sel Appans, he started early and was on his school's team. But his dreams of going pro came crashing down when his foot was caught in a meat grinder and had to be amputated. So he continued his passion watching football on TV.

When the National Team went international, Puiké was thrilled. His home country would finally have a path to sports glory. At first, they had a bad start, but this soon changed in World Cup 33, when Sel Appa qualified and even went to the second round. Now, they had done it all again, after two Group Stage halts. Puiké was proud.

He went over to his computer and pulled up BetService, his favorite bookmaker. He entered his credit card and put down £500 on a Sel Appa win. He was sure the Turtles could pull it off. Schiavonia was big, but even giants must fall. He called up his buddies and invited them over to watch the Sel Appa-Schiavonia match a few days later. All but one agreed and Puiké was satisfied. He popped in a tape of an old match: Nemnen Turtles @ Natives and soon fell asleep...

Qazox

17-08-2007, 04:45

New Qazian Press

NEW NAME...SAME OL' SHIT

A new logo, new nickname, new mascot and even new uniforms and Qazox is still the same underachivers following a heart-breaking 2-1 loss to Squornshelous today. That win put the Pschychoes into a play-off with the The Holy Empire who knocked off Schiavonia by the same score. On every tie-breaker the Holy Empire and Sqournshelous were even so it was decided that they would play tommorrow in a playoff for the last spot from the group. It is believed to be the first playoff in World Cup history.

All the Pheonix had to do was hold on to a 1-1 draw with 7 minutes remaining, but once again sloppy officiating cost Qazox. A phantom hand-ball was called on John Grunder in the 84th minute, and Grunder vehemently argued the call and was given a yellow card. Upon receiving the yellow, Grunder struck the ref with his foot, earning him a Red card. Dmitri Polokov of the Pschychoes, who scored the 1st goal of the match in the 29th minute, took the penalty kick, since the supposed hand-ball was in the penalty area, and made it 2-1 with 5 minutes left. Yancy Fry, whose goal in the 40th minute tied the match, launched a rocket at Jaska Wirmann, Sqournshelous' keeper, in the 89th minute but it was just barely deflected away, ending Qazox' hopes once again.

After the match, retiring Head Coach, Fernando Turek had this to say about the hand-ball:
It's truly a shame that for the 2nd time in our 4 World Cup appearances, we've had a chance to move onto the 2nd round in the final match, but officiating has gotten in the way. 16 years ago it was 2 red cards given to us on clear Geisenfried dives and now this phantom handball. I saw the replays. It hit John (Grunder) in the shoulder, and as such should not have been called. I am appealing the match to the NSWCC, but as usual I believe that the result will stand.

Turek, who just before the match was applauded by the sell-out crowd upon hearing he was the 2nd Qazoxian inducted in the World Cup Hall of Fame, finsihes with a international record of 38-12-16. The 38 wins are the most of any Qazoxian coach, but his record of 3-1-5 in the World Cup, with no 2nd round appearances, is slightly dissapointing. No new Head Coach has been named as of yet, but the leading canidates are: Current Assistant Head Coach Alexrandra Hotep, and Greg Wolfen a player/coach for Chivas Saxer in the QFL, both former teammates of Turek.

Match Summary:
29' Goal: Sqournshelous: Dmitri Polokov
40' Goal: Qazox: Yancy Fry
84' RC: Qazox: John Grunder
84' RC: Qazox: John Grunder
85' Goal: Sqournshelous: Dmitri Polokov (PK)

Shots:
Squornshelous: 11
Qazox: 10

Corners:
Squornshelous: 3
Qazox: 6

FOULS:
Squornshelous: 9
Qazox: 2

Jeruselem

17-08-2007, 04:53

TO: Kelly Firth
From: Dazza Dallas, Jeruselem Ambassador of Ariddia

Well done on Bostopia making the second round. I see you might be taking over as the new pin-up coach for World Cup 37 as I am retiring. Kate Bush, my replacement is pretty boring character compared to me.

Don't forget all that media training your team booked in Jeruselem. The team will need it as they will be famous in Bostopia now and well, will need the skills to handle packs of Bostopia and foreign media wanting to talk to your players.

The death of my niece Rashina basically screwed everything up for me. We almost made it but that draw against Zwangzug basically killed everything. You can't lose a captain like Rashina Dallas and not expect problems when you re-arrange the team. Now, are playing Ariddia next. Put it this way, your team must play 150%. They beat us 3-2 and we are seeded #8 so your team must be ready.

I have attached a recipe for Haddock in white cream wine sauce. I'm not fish eater but it's a fantastic dish even for people like me. I know your team are full of young men, so I'm also sending a beta of Hikfie Dallas Virtual Strumpet. Hikfie is looking for man, so if anyone of those guys are interested - she's single. Hikfiie is not the smartest Dallas around though.

I tell ya something, don't put your relatives in the army. I'm not letting my kids get their heads blown off for no good reason.

Dazza Dallas
XXX

Qazox

17-08-2007, 05:00

New Qazian Press

40 YEARS OF QAZOXIAN FOOTBALL...WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

(Please note WC 34 Qualifers took place in 1919, Qazox time, WC 34 was in 1921, The 26th CoH was in 1922, WC 25 qualifers was in 1923, WC 35 was in 1925, Wc 26 qualifers were in 1927 and WC 36 was in 1929, the present year)

For the first time Qazox kept it's World Cup team intact for the following qualifiers. But the tactic didn't work as the team, in a group with Zwangzug and Sqournshelous, struggled to a 1-3-2 start, which had them 5th in the group of 7.Perhaps age was a factor, as they trailed in every match at one point. But a 4-0-2 finish only moved the team up to 4th place, which sent the team to the Cup of Harmony.

Just before the CoH, the entire squad, excepting the Coaches and Goal keeper Greg Wolfen, withdrew themselves from the national team in protest of the team not being sent to the 2nd Summer Olympics. The QAF (Qazox Association of Football) then struck back, barring any of the World Cup 33/34 players, excepting Wolfen, from playing or coaching for the national team for a period of 20 years.

The Olympic team then was sent to the CoH, where the high school kids were beaten by Bostopia and Jasīʼyūn. That same team has been the national team for Qazox during World Cup 35 and 36 and most are to return for World Cup 37 qualifing in 1931.

ROSTER: (WORLD CUP 34)
NAME (age)

GOALKEEPERS
Greg Wolfen (35)
Hernan Cortez (34)
Marco Hinger (23)

DEFENDERS
Juan Won One (29)
Adolf Limburger (34)
Ryan Holmes (33)
Eric Redsen (32)
Alene Mcdivitt (24)
Dara Dreisbach (23)

MIDFIELDERS
Ty Rant (28)
Alexrandra Hotep (33)
Wendy Richie (27)
Lucretia Casdorph (25)
Paulina Sardina (22)

WINGERS
Kyle Horton (31) (Captain)
Sonja Clay (32)
Regina Reginald (32)
Jonathon Sarafin (21)
Ione Nemetz (23)
Renita Bensman (26)

So where are they now?
GOALKEEPERS
Greg Wolfen: Playing/Coaching for Chivas Saxer in QFL, Age: 43
Hernan Cortez: Lives in Az-cz with wife and 3 children, Age: 42
Marco Hinger: Plays for SaxerVilla in QFL Age: 31

DEFENDERS
Ryan Holmes: Co-Owner of Holmes, Waston and Moriarity Law Firm in Gothika, Age: 41
Adolf Limburger: Died at age 42, the day before these qualifers due to home robbery attempt, when he was shot protecting his wife.
Eric Redsen: Playing for FC Fromburg in QFL, Age:40
Juan Won One: Playing for Qazox City in QFL, Age: 37
Alene Mcdivitt: Died in car crash in 1924, along with Dara Dreisbach at age 29
Dara Dreisbach: Died in car crash in 1924, along with Alene Mcdivitt at age 28

MIDFIELDERS
Alexrandra Hotep: Current Assistant Head Coach of National team/Head Coach of River Vitas (W-League), Age: 41
Ty Rant: Assistant Coach/Player for SaxerVilla in QFL, Age: 36
Wendy Richie: Schoolteacher at Gothika High School in Gothika, Age: 35
Lucretia Casdorph: Plays for Graverville WC in W-league, Age: 30
Paulina Sardina: Plays for Fromburg WC in W-league, Age: 27

WINGERS
Kyle Horton: Playing for Qazox City in QFL Age: 39
Sonja Clay: Living in Lorax City, Councilwoman, Age: 40
Regina Reginald: Playing for Iguana de Mia in QFL Age: 40
Jonathon Sarafin: Captain for Lake Porter City in QFL, Age 26 youngest Qazoxian starter ever.
Ione Nemetz: Plays for Pika WC in W-league Age: 28
Renita Bensman: Plays for Lake Porter WC in W-league Age: 31

WORLD CUPS 35 and 36 Squad:(ages are for Current year)
GK- John Freel 26 yrs. old
DEF- Hank Hunker 27 yrs. old
DEF- John Grunder 24 yrs. old
DEF- Juan Torres 23 yrs. old
MID- Henri Torabla 26 yrs. old
MID- Ty Revee 27 yrs. old
MID- Zane West 28 yrs. old
MID- Oleg Halcho 28 yrs. old
FOR- Greg Holden 27 yrs. old
FOR- Tomas Richter 25 yrs. old
FOR- Yancy Fry 27 yrs. old.
GK- Jon Serra 24 yrs. old.
DEF- Thomas Hacker 26 yrs. old.
DEF/MID- Henry Hacker 26 yrs. old
MID- Kyle West 25 yrs. old
MID/FOR- David Easter 24 yrs. old
FOR- Wesley Tripp 23 Yrs. old
FOR- John Griffey 18 Yrs. old (Played in WorldCup 36 Only)

So where are they now?
All 18 members will come back for World Cup 37, except for John Grunder, who has been indefinately suspended for his actions during the Squornshelous match.

Az-cz

17-08-2007, 11:10

Amda-Mo: Once again it took till the very end, but we managed to turn the tables on the Bazalopes and end their cup again with a 3-1 win.

Lur-Mn: Amazing. We made it through with as thin of a margin as possible and Hawdon has to be just crushed. But Pizelkaxrovsky absolutely showed why he will be flying into the world cup hall of fame as he saved the team, yet again.

Amda-Mo: Well let's talk about the flow of the game.

Lur-Mn: Well the first sign that it was probably going to be our day was in the 7th minute. Nerazzurri gave up a penalty in the box which was crushing for us and elating for Bazalonians, but the mood was quickly reversed when Gn-Lg beautifully plucked Hampstead's shot out of the air. From there we really got a boost and things headed in the right direction.

Amda-Mo: How about our offense today?

Lur-Mn: Well Pizelkaxrovsky made one of his famous passes to Kn-Dg to put us up in the 29th and was curled in his trademark curling freekick in the 42nd minute to send us to the break ahead 2-0. And then there was the third goal that came in the 89th minute after Kang had scored in the 72nd where he dribbled through 5 Bazalonian players to fire the goal in. So if you want to talk about our offense today, it's the same old story. He was determined to at
least make the second round but it is a bit worrying how dependent we still are on him. We showed some ability to play without him earlier in the cup but we haven't shown it here in the proper.

Amda-Mo: We were talking a lot about Zax-Im after last game. How does this affect your thoughts about him?

Lur-Mn: Well, it certainly saved his job. As a legend there's no way we'd think about moving on past him after a trip to the second round, but I'm not sure it proves anything. One amazing player and a fairly talented squad in general can go along way on their own. So we'll see.

Amda-Mo: How about the other results from the rest of the groups?

Lur-Mn: Bostopia's advancing is a great accomplishment, making the second round on their first try. Squornshelous and the Holy Empire are still in a battle for a trip to the next round as they'll have to play again before the next round. And the other two cursed teams did go down as Jeruselem couldn't overturn their deficit and Milchama limped out with a trio of draws.

Amda-Mo: So going into the next round who are the top six teams?

6. Wentland

Well once again our next opponent is the number six team. Wentland played solid defense and found just enough offense to get to seven points in the group stage.

5. Errinundera

Errinundera whacked two good teams in Sel Appa and Quakmybush and scored 9 goals in total in the group stage. The portroos looked good and will be a power packed scoring team as they attempt to finally make it past the second round again.

4. Bettia

The best team not to get three wins. They fell off a bit after their two dominant games to start the group stage. Still they are a huge threat to recreate their title magic from last cup.

3. Ariddia

The Ariddians are a definite danger to take back their title. They won all their group matches, admittedly in a group that didn't play up to it's full potential. However they've rediscovered their winning spirit which makes them incredibly incredibly dangerous.

2. Commerce Heights

Taking full advantage of hosting they've rolled to the top spot in their group. A jumping of Jasiyun and solid wins over Vilita and Tynelia allowed them a nice goal differential as they won their group. With home field on their side Commerce Heights could earn their second title.

1. Elves Security Forces

The Elves have once again displayed an incredible amount of skill. After a tough game over Yafor 2 they really ratcheted it up in dominating Oliverry then absolutely crucifying Fmjphoenix. Tied with Bettia for best goal differential the Elves are looking good.

Amda-Mo: Speaking of Wentland, how do you see that match?

Lur-Mn: It's hard to say. Wentland will push for a defensive game, which may or may not suit us. They're a solid team although experience and talent both favor us. We're certainly looking and hoping to win, but anything could really happen.

Amda-Mo: One can hope so. We'll find out soon enough.

Kansiov

17-08-2007, 11:42

Kansiov Prepares for World Cup 37

Kansiov starts preparations with new head coach

The new Kansiovian Football coach, Rulev Jusokicki, aged 58. He has over 30 years of coaching experience, and most well-known under Kansiov City FC manager where he got 8 League Titles and 16 League Cups in all domestic competitions under 12 seasons, the best record for a Kansiovian Manager. However the WC 37 Kansiovian squad has yet to be out but fans are hoping this change of coaches will make Kansiov a better football Nation compared to the rest of the world.

Wentland

17-08-2007, 12:57

Norman Hacker was delirious. An early goal put the Swifts in the driving seat and a rearguard action, together with news of the surprise goal from the HURD, put Wentland through to the last 16. Against all odds.

However, such news did not appear in the print media. Although electricity was now available, pickets arranged by the Society for Not Being Beastly To Beasts Unless They Started It outside glue factories meant that the required fixatives for printers' ink had not been available. The ink producers used old supplies of gloy but the press was disappointed to watch as the entire celebratory print run was ruined, as soon as the printed paper was moved all the letters droped off the page.

Printer Ernold Same was apopleptic. "If these hippomaniacs don't stop the country will be infested with wild future gue, I mean horses, and we won't be able to cull them as the glue on the boxes of guns will drop off. We might end up with mislabelled beans instead and schools will have our machine guns. Think of the children! Won't somebody think of the children!'

Errinundera

17-08-2007, 15:11

Atheistic Right

17-08-2007, 16:33

The entire nation of Atheistic Right vanishes in what is believed to be a white flash only to be fully replaced by the Mice of Miceland who have been living in an alternate dimension and mistakenly swappen AR for Miceland.

Bostopia

17-08-2007, 18:18

Kelly was in her hotel room, logging onto her FA e-mail account

She typed “https://webmail.fa.org.bp” into the address bar and hit enter.

Coming to the login screen, she typed “kelly.firth” and entered her password “*********”

“What's this? 'Must Read: Haddock Poem' Oh I've heard that's good. I'll probably dream of them tonight now...

Fan mail, fan mail...Addy did what with a potato?...fan mail...Hey! An e-mail from Dazza!”

Kelly read the e-mail and hit the reply button

Dear Dazza. Thanks so much for the congratulations, it’s amazing to make it this far, though we play Ariddia next – though I’m sure you’ll know. I’ll send you a Bostopia scarf to wear with your Ariddian colours, so you can support both of us and then do the quick discard at the final whistle!

I’m kidding, I don’t mind who you support! Maybe you'll be like me and not even wearing clothes during the match anyway! A pin-up? Me? Well, I don't know, but I'm sure I've got a lot of younger fans from other nations who aren't used to this kind of thing! I don't try and make the most out of my body, this is how I grew up (to be pretty most people tell me), and I'd be the same no matter how I looked! Can't help it if some people find it attractive though!

I’m looking forward to the media course, haven’t seen you since the WC group draw I think and that was so long ago! We'll have a great time! The players are famous anyway, winning lots of regional tournaments and Aleksander managed to win the league with Rolida again at the end of last season, so they really have been household names for a while, Aleks had to deal with lots of reporters, and Stuart Flambriff ended up as top scorer - as a midfielder! So he dealt with people too.

I think the foreign media will be what we need to work on, different countries work in different ways. Don't think Wentland's media will be a problem at the moment, I think there's problems with the printing presses. Powered by horses? Not much news gets through to you once you don't want to pay a few more vintems for an extra detail or two!

We’re all really upset at the loss of Rashina, Dazza. The way she played football definitely taught all of us something. She lead a good life though Dazza, so…well, I guess you know what I mean, it’s hard finding the words.

Oh no! Addy just came in and saw the part of the e-mail where you said Hikfie was single and looking! Now she’s ran off to try and match-make or something. Does she not realise when you tell a squad of 18 year old (rather well paid) boys an attractive girl is single and looking, mayhem will break loose! And now she’s telling them “she’s a Dallas girl!” too! We’ll never beat Ariddia now!

Speaking of which, my parents are always asking me when I’ll get married…IF I get married is my reply! Suppose I’ll meet the right guy at some point, but I’m a bit busy with managing Bostopia at the moment, so I’ll have to find someone between tournaments. Oh well, “c’est la vie” as some of our French-speaking sisters may say!

I’ve got relatives in the army, my elder brother is in, and my younger sister has just come out of her 6 months national service. Fortunately, it’s pretty quiet in Bostopia apart from the terrorist troubles with Laquar. Danny’s managed to keep away from the fighting though, he was smart enough to get himself a role in the Intelligence Corps, so he basically looks at satellite photos and does a little bit of interrogation. Oh my god, I HATE IT when he comes home and asks me what I’ve been up to.

Look after yourself, and if I hear anything about one of the lads being interested in Hikfie (well, a lot of them will be…maybe I’ll have them make videos to send to her, like why she should pick them sort of thing?…oh god, I sound like Addy now!), I’ll let you know.

Love

Kelly xxx

Elves Security Forces

17-08-2007, 19:09

Elven Times
Glory Road

Another match in the books for the squad, and once again even the reserves show the class of the nation. Few would of thought that the elven nation from an irrelevant region would one day be near the class of the footballing world. Yet here we stand twenty-eight years later and that is truth. With once great powers like Starblaydia, Liverpool England, and Bedistan vanishing into the horizon, it was up to the newer generation to set the standards of excellence in this competition. The Marauders, along with nations like Az-cz, Cafundeu, and even the ESF former colony of Demot have set that standard that all new debutant nations hope to one day achieve. This stride of excellence only needs its exclamation point, and that is the championship that the nation, region, and squad soo desperately covet and believe they will take this tournament.

With the way the squad has been performing, there is not a reason why they should not believe that this group of highly talented inviduals will be the group that finally brings the highest honors home. They have been near impossible to stop on the attack, pushing across 49 goals between the Cup Proper and qualifying matches, 53 if you include the mid-qualifying friendly against Squornshelous. It isn't as if this squad is relying solely on its offensive power either as they have only conceded eight goals in that same time frame. This trully has to be not only the most balanced squad the national team has ever had, but perhaps the most balanced side to ever grace the World Cup.

What should be even more concerning to other nations wishing to see their side bring home the Cup, is the fact that the Marauders have one of the easiest paths to the semifinals. With only the SLANI federation and the Schiavonia squad being a top ten nation in the ESF side of the bracket, and only then would they meet in the semifinal really sets up nicely for the Marauders to march right into the semifinal and hope to topple either the hosts or #3 squad in the world and move on to the final. Vilita will try to stand in their way, and despite playing their neighbors of Turori in a number of tournament, their expierence with the Vilitians is quite limited. Vilita is not the power they once were though, and are not likely to prove the type of challange that you would expect in a second round fixture, despite finishing in the top four last edition.

Laborious Hawk continues to shine as he seemed to take over the attacking role with Night resting. He converted the natural hattrick with two goals on this side of the half before topping out his account three minutes after the restart with a brilliant header from a Sonja corner. Fresco harassed the backline for a good part of the match, but couldn't get anything on target until the sixty-seventh minute when Cuellar had broke on the counter and left a heel pass for the youngster to blast to the top corner on the near side. The veteran Rikard finished the scoring two minutes later off free kick when Sonja dumbied the wall and Rikard sent it looping over the wall and right beneath the crossbar, giving the keeper absolutely no chance to save the effort. Afterwards, the squad went over to their traveling fans, which surprisngly contained a large contingent of Assegains and a small group of Turruth Gordurians and signed jerseys and gave autographs for about two hours after the match. With their support in full force and the squad in this outstanding form, it will take a Hatire like effort to stop this team from achieving its' dreams.

Elves Security Forces 5
Laborious Hawk (17, 32, 48)
Anti Fresco (67)
Nikali Rikard (69)

Fmjphoenix 0

Scorers
Laborious Hawk 14
Kiso Night 12
Nikali Rikard 9
Xanxz 5
Jere Jannian 5
Anti Fresco 3
Cristi Kries 2
Rick Cuellar 1

Schedule
Proper
MD1: ESF-Yafor 2 1-0
MD2: ESF-Oliverry 3-1
MD3: ESF-Fmjphoenix 5-0
Ro16: ESF-Vilita

Qualifying
MD1: ESF v Kampfers 2-0
MD2: Tylero v ESF 0-2
MD3: ESF v Assegai Developments 3-1
MD4: ESF v Ad'ihan 3-0
MD5: Tynelia v ESF 1-5
MD6: ESF v Aurendia 6-0
MD7: The Sons of a Monkey v ESF 0-1
MQF: Elves Security Forces v Squornshelous 4–1
MD8: Kampfers v ESF 0-3
MD9: ESF v Tylero 0-1
MD10: Assegai Developments v ESF 1-4
MD11: Ad'ihan v ESF 0-3
MD12: ESF v Tynelia 3-1
MD13: Aurendia v ESF 0-0
MD14: ESF v The Sons of a Monkey 6-1

Article by Luna Santapa

Squornshelous

17-08-2007, 20:29

Squornshelous went out and got the win they needed in their third match of the group stage, defeating the Pheonix of Qazox by a score of 2-1. Striker Dmitri Polokov earned man of the match honors, scoring both of the Pschychoes' goals, the first of which came after 29 minutes.

His was the first real scoring chance of the match, with several long range shots being sent well wide or handled by the keepers at either end prior to it. Roman Svoboda made a run with the ball to the corner, and whipped a cross back to the other side of the box. Polokov was waiting far post and met it perfectly. As John Freel followed the ball across the goalmouth, Polokov's kick sent it right back to the opposite corner. No one for the Pheonix had time to move, as they watched the ball hit the netting.

Squornshelous didn't dominate this match though, and Qazox had their share of opportunites for the equalizer. They converted one of these just five minutes before the half. Striker Yancy Fry apparantly beat the offsides trap on a long ball and put his shot well out of Jaska Wirmann's reach. Squornshelan center back Gunnar Jonsson was cautioned for arguing to vigorously with the referee.

In the second half, the ball was kept mostly to midfield, and neither team could generate much in the way of coordinated offense. Squornshelous narrowly avoided going down a man when Jonsson, possibly still upset about the earlier call, made a hard challenge against Fry. For whatever reason, the official decided not to book him a second time. Squornshelous sent on Staffan Thorstein in Jonsson's place a few minutes later.

As the match wore on, players began to show fatigue, for Squornshelous, Mikkula Kuivalainen replaced a cramping Tauno Reimanen and speedy youngster Erkki Aatunen replaced Pertti Vilho.

However, it was no action of Squornshelous's that would produce the winning goal. In the 84th, John Grunder inadvertently deflected a pass through the box with his wrist. It was unintentional, but the official had no choice but to award a penatly. When Grunder disputed the call, he was booked and then, for some reason, he took out his frustration by kicking the referee, upon which he was immediately sent off.

Polokov, because of his earlier goal and another good shot he'd gotten on target, was sent up to take the shot, and he put it away easily, with Freel falling the wrong way. With one man missing, Qazox couldn't really mount the kind of coordinated attack that might have netted them the equalizer. Fry did manage to find a seam for a hard shot one minute before stoppage time, but Wirmann punched it clear.

Now Squornshelous was eagerly awaiting news of the Schiavonia - Holy Empire match. When all the scores were in, it left Squornshelous and The Holy Empire in a perfect tie for second place. The hosts determined that the teams will play a full playoff match to determine who will advance.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-1 Qazox

Squornshelous

17-08-2007, 21:22

Squornshelous was scheduled to play the first ever full playoff match against The Holy Empire to decide which team would advance to play Errinundera. Squornshelous, having just played a very competitive match against Qazox, did not play most of their starters. Manager Jan Jorgenson left only Roman Svoboda, Axel Trggve and Sten Mortenson on the starting lineup for the playoff. He made use of the excellent depth of the Squornshelan roster to put fresh players on the field. The Squornshelan formation looked like this:

Svoboda Aatunen Uolevi

Gulbrand Kuivalainen

Torson Tryggve

Mortenson Thorstein Olafson

Paavalainen

On the bench were striker Dmitri Polokov, defenseman Njord Fridtjof, third goalkeeper Ragnar Svenson and midfielders Emil Jalmari, Tauno Reimanen and Caj Ilmari.

The fresh legs approach worked beautifully. The match was very evenly fought for the first 30 minutes, but as fatigue began to set in, the rested Pschychoes players began to create opportunities. Mikkula Kuivalainen, who has gotten good playing time off the bench, scored his first international goal to open things up in the 37th. The teams entered halftime seperated by only one goal, but Squornshelous was outplaying their opponents by a wide margin.

After the break, the match was well contested again, with both sides rejuvenated, but Squornshelous sent some of their normal starters as substitutes. Emil Jalmari and Caj Ilmari replaced Kuivalainen and Anton Gulbrand in the 64th, and immediately begna to wreak havoc. Ilmari and Aatunen especially, who were probably the two fastes, and freshest players out there, tore the defense to ribbons. Jalmari fed passes to the two youngsters, and Aatunen notched the second goal at 71 minutes. Dmitri Polokov came on to replace Aatunen, who was flagging somewhat, at 78 minutes and the young striker recieved an ovation from the Pschycho supporters.

Polokov, the hero of the match against Qazox, seemed to move effortlessly through the physically and emotionally drained Imperial defense. He selflessly set up Martti Uolevi for a goal with four minutes left until stoppage.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 3-0 The Holy Empire

Squornshelous now moves on to face Errinundera. Manager Jorgenson has announced that the normal starting lineup will appear, with the exception of Gunnar Jonsson, who is suspended indefinitely by the team for his actions in the match against Qazox. Staffan Thorstein will take his place at center back.

Cafundeu

18-08-2007, 00:16

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 36 COVERAGE – FROM LASFT, CAFUNDÉU
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOSS PUTS CAFUNDÉU TO PLAY AGAIN IN LASFT

http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/3056/cafwen1zr3.jpg
Júlio Vargas talks with Eduardo Monte

Cafundéu returned to Lasft to play the last game of the group stage of the World Cup. The team, already qualified, had to face the ultra defensive team of Wentland, that needed a draw to qualify too. The coach Júlio Vargas decided to keep an offensive strategy, to win the game, but the counterattacks of the opponent team were strong and the Monopolists couldn’t get a positive result. The game wasn’t very exciting, the teams respected each other a lot and didn’t make many fouls. Some supporters left the stadium disappointed.

But the loss wasn’t so bad. The team will stay in Lasft, and the opponent of the next game, now for the knockout stage, is Demot. Cafundéu had already played against Demot during both World Cup 34 qualifiers and in the proper cup. The results weren’t so good. But now, playing at home and with the help of the supporters, the players think that a victory is possible, something that would put Cafundéu in the quarterfinals for the first time in the country’s history. Wentland will face Az-cz, a more difficult opponent, in the capital city of Cafundó do Juta.

The best player of the game was Petardos S/A’s attacker Lennie Newton. One of the most famous and respected footballers playing in Cafundéu, the lethal striker scored the goal and participated in most of the attacks of Wentland. An interesting fact is that the game was played in the Obelisco Monumental, stadium of Petardos S/A. So, Newton felt at home, in a field that he knew and could support the pressure of Cafundéu’s supporters.

THE GAME

The game started and both teams seemed satisfied with the draw. In the first twenty minutes, there were practically no attacks. The ball was held in the midfield and the players tried to start offensive plays with long ranged passes, most of them uneffective. The goalkeeper were only watching the game and only took goal kicks. Some supporters were waiting for a more exciting game, and complained, as the game was extremely boring. Read Breno Gavião:

“We arrrrre rrrrrreaching the twenty-second minute, the game is still zerrrrro zerrrrro. Only thrrrrree shots to the goal, but verrrrry poor ones, two for Cafundéu and one for Wentland. The ball is stuck in the midfield and the teams don’t seem worrrrried about attacking. Look now, Anorrrrrmal with the ball, he can starrrrrt a good goal chance now. Sends the ball to the attack, and the defender gets it. Nothing to do on the weekend? Go to one of the Deriva Cinemas! The latest movies arrrrre being shown therrrrre!”

The teams only took some initiative in the attack after the half of the first half. Lawrence controlled the ball in the midfield and made an excellent pass to Newton, who dribbled Souza and shot to the goal. The ball hit the post and went wide. After this first good chance, Cafundéu tried to reply. Dário crossed the ball and Tales headed, but the goalkeeper Robinson made an excellent save. The game continued difficult and defensive, but the goal chances appeared more. In another one, Weston shot from outside the area, sending the ball over the bar.

In a funny moment of the game, Anormal was battling for the ball against Starkey. The Wentland midfielder tried to advance with the ball, but the giant shot it with all his strength. It hit the linesman’s legs. Carlos Massaruso, the linesman, fell on the ground and broke his flag. The players helped him to get up and the game was stopped for five minutes while the flag was being replaced. In another play, Starkey and Toninho kicked at the same time the leg of their opponent (not on purpose) and were shown the yellow card. Read Breno Gavião (linesman incident):

“Ball in the midfield, possession with Wentland. Starrrrrkey with the ball, he goes to the rrrrright wing. Lawrrrrrence asks for the ball, but he continues rrrrrunning. Anorrrrrmal comes to battle for the ball. Starrrrrkey trrrrries the drrrrribble... Anorrrrrmal clearrrrrs! Oops, it hit the linesman. It was a strrrrrong shot, he can be injurrrrred. Anorrrrrmal helps him, he seems okay. One of his shoes left his foot, he is getting it back. And the flag seems brrrroken, we’ll have to wait a bit for the rrrrresume of the game.”

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5941/foto2kz2.jpg
Game was tough, with not many goal chances

Only Wentland made a change for the second half, putting Bennett in the place of the tired Weston. The second half started, and Cafundéu created some good plays in its first minutes. Rato went to the attack dribbling Clay and passed the ball to Heitor when Savage came to mark him. Heitor looked at the goal and shot the ball with his right leg. Robinson made an excellent save, and Burnside took the rebound, putting the ball to a safe place.

The Monopolists attacked again. This time, Léo Mattos reached the right wing and crossed the ball to the area. Tales headed, the goalkeeper saved, and Barbosa shot the rebound, but the ball was blocked by Eager. Wentland replied, and very well. In a fast counterattack, Lawrence sent the ball directly to Newton, who dribbled Toninho and Eduardo Monte before shooting the ball to score the goal. This goal surprised the supporters, who knew that Newton was dangerous, but weren’t expecting the goal, as Cafundéu was playing well. Read Breno Gavião:

“Still no goals, and now is Wentland that has the chance to starrrrrt an attack. Eager passes the ball fast to Lawrrrrrence, who is in the midfield. Rrrrrrato rrrrruns to trrrrry to get the ball, but it is passed dirrrrrectly to Newton. He is dangerrrrrous, drrrrribbles Toninho, invades the arrrrrea, prrrrreparrrrres for another drrrrribble... Eduardo Monte is left behind, now Newton can scorrrrre, he shoots... and it’s a goal! Goal for Wentland! Newton, number nine! Wentland one, Cafundéu zero. Just when we had some good attacks...”

After suffering the goal, Cafundéu had to attack a lot. Júlio Vargas made changes to make the team more offensive, but Hacker did the same to make Wentland even more defensive. In a chance, Assis made a long ranged pass to Ferreira, who missed the shot. Cafundéu nearly suffered the second goal after a mistake of the defender Souza. Clay got the ball, invaded the area and shot, but the ball went wide. Wentland defended well in the last minutes and could hold the positive result and the qualification for the second round. Read Breno Gavião:

“This can be the last chance for the Monopolists in the game. Neto goes to take the frrrrree kick... it hits the wall, Léo Mattos gets the rrrrrebound and shot the ball with strrrrrength... over the bar! And the rrrrreferrrrree looks at his clock and whistles the end of the game. Wentland wins in the Obelisco Monumental. A difficult game, with one goal scorrrrred by Lennie deciding it. Wood furrrrrniturrrrre makes your house special, and you’ll find quality wood furrrrrniture in Edna Madeirrrrrras, one of the best in wood prrrrroducts!”

AFTER THE GAME

The result wasn’t the best for Cafundéu, but the coach Júlio Vargas was optimist after the end of the game. He said: “We lost, but in the end this wasn’t a bad game. And this loss wasn’t the worst thing. Now comes the game that we can’t lose, against... Demot? Yes, it seems that is Demot. So, we could loss today, and if we prepare ourselves well for the next game, we can win.” Lennie Newton said: “I know this place well and I knew what I was going to face. The ending result wasn’t a surprise for me.”

The defender Léo Mattos said: “There weren’t so many offensive plays and they had the best defense. Ours made some mistakes that ended with the goal. So, the result was fair, because they could avoid suffering goals.” Goalkeeper Júnior said: “Well, now let’s concentrate in the next game against Demot. It’s good to play in front of your supporters, and we will battle for the victory until the end of the game, and I’m sure that we have chances of victory.”

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/4663/fredcrusr4.jpg
Newton commemorates goal in Petardos's stadium

CAFUNDÉU 0x1 WENTLAND

Place: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft.
Attendance: 219,578 people.
Referee: Tulip Vazzos (The Lowland Clans).
MOTM: Lennie Newton (Wentland).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho (Assis 60’), Eduardo Monte and Souza; Anormal, Barbosa, Rato and Dário (Ferreira 70’); Tales (Neto 82’) and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/wentland.png WENTLAND: Robinson, Eager, Jarvis, Burnside and Savage; Clay, Starkey (Katz 72’), Lawrence, Weston (Bennett 45’) and Blake (Dexter 72’); Newton.
Coach: Norman Hacker.

Goal:WEN: Newton 65’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – formation for the game against Demot: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Chico Serra; Anormal, Barbosa, Rato and Dário; Flecha and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Marcus Trassendhorfel (The Holy Empire).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

2- Rato and Heitor
1- Toninho

Az-cz

18-08-2007, 10:55

Az-cz Scroll
Cafundeu
Il-Lur

Second Round Predictions

Well it's time to analyze how I did with my predictions for the first round and look ahead to the next round. First up is my predictions for our group. There I had us going out and Bazalonia advancing in our place. But for the wonderful late Pizelkaxrovsky goal I would've been right out here. The group are opponents came from definitely suprised me. I thought the HURD would be worse and that the Monks would be better. As for the other two groups Ariddia and Bettia winning certainly weren't suprises, but Bostopia making it to second and Jeruselem falling short to Zwangzug were.

Over in Commerce Heights, only group A played to my predictions. Group B, like our group wasn't a big suprise as Squornshelous was very close to going home and allowing Alsadair I Frosticus through to the second round. But Fmjphoenix rising up to send Oliverry home and Sel Appa topping Milchama both came as big suprises. In general the first round was undpredictable and exciting. So in that sense a big success. Now let's look ahead to the next set of matches.

Here are the 8 matches scheduled for the next round:

Wentland vs Az-cz
Ariddia vs Bostopia
Bettia vs Zwangzug
Demot vs Cafundéu
Capitalizt SLANI v Fmjphoenix
Schiavonia v Sel Appa
Errinundera v Squornshelous
Elves Security Forces v Vilita

So our match is an interesting place to start. Many things indicate that we should win, but that's not always what happens. My doombug sense leads me to believe that Wentland will beat us on penalties. As for Bostopia they'll have to be content with just making the second round as Ariddia will stomp them. Bettia shouldn't have a problem with Zwangzug and I think Demot will break down Cafundeu enough such that they overcome Cafundeu's homefield advantage. However Commerce Heights should role to a wonderful matchup against Schiavonia. Squornshelous will extend Errinundera's troubles at the second round and the Elves will roll into the quarters.

That leaves these quarterfinal matchups:

Wentland v Ariddia
Bettia v Demot
Commerce Heights v Schiavonia
Squornshelous v Elves Security Forces

Ariddia will continue to roll as will Bettia leading to a knockout match between the two teams for a third successive cup. Over in the Capitalizt states expect the host nation to move on where they'll face an Elves side really looking forward to their first title. So the semifinals will feature a bunch of old faces:

Ariddia v Bettia
Commerce Heights v Elves Security Forces

I think Ariddia reclaims the lead in the series here and advances to their third finals in a row where they will meet up with the Elves.

Third place:

Bettia v Commerce Heights

Expect Commerce Heights to be more interested in going out strongly in their cup so they'll knock down Bettia for third place.

Finals:

Ariddia v Elves Security Forces

While the Elves will have played wonderfully all tournament, don't expect them to have enough to stop Ariddia from joining the elite. Just like last cup I see no reason to abandon my predictions now.

Spandydinglesville

18-08-2007, 11:22

sorry to any of the women if there are any here but do you men only talk about the world cup? its silly. it makes me soooo annoyed.

Bettia

18-08-2007, 13:48

"Well that was much ado about nothing, wasn't it?" Ali mumbled as he stretched out his arms and yawned, almost in time with the referee's flamboyant full-time gestures. After all the pre-match hype about Bettia's showdown with their bitter rivals Turori, there was a definite feeling of disappointment as the game petered out into a 1-1 draw.

"Yeah" Fat Evan nodded in agreement. "On the bright side, I suppose giving some of the reserves a run out will be good... and at least the first team'll be nice and rested for Zwangzug."

"Hmm. Good point."

Right at that very moment, their little post-match analysis was interrupted by a loud cry from the back of the room. They looked around to see young Fatarani screaming blue murder at her new laptop computer whilst occasionally banging her head on the table.

"I can't believe it! We lost to Turori, of all teams!" she wailed.

Ali and Fat Evan looked at each other, confused.

"Eh? But we drew, not lost... right?" Ali said, looking once more at the HumungoScreen just to confirm that his old memory wasn't playing tricks on him.

"Well, if you're going doolally, then so's everyone else." Fat Evan replied, scoping the café where all of the Pie & Pixie's other customers were looking as equally confused.

"Awww, don't worry Uncle Ali!" Junilun chuckled as she sat perched on top of the counter. "Ever since you bought her that computer yesterday, she's been addicted to World Cup Manager: WC36 Edition. She's already won the World Cup twenty times."

They sauntered over to Fatarani and looked over her shoulder - sure enough, she was staring teary-eyed at the matchday screen, where she had just led Bettia to a less-than-glorious 1-0 defeat at the hands of their red-kitted opponents. Ali laughed as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry Fatarani, that's not the real score. It's just a computer game."

"I know. It's this game's fault we lost!" she pouted.

"Oh. Why's that then?"

"It's not Takilan enough! I only want to have one defender but the game won't let me. It's not fair!"

"Only one defender?"

"Yeah. If I was really Bettia's manager, I'd only use one defender... and five strikers! No, six! Yeah, that'd be cool! I wanna be Bettia's manager!"

Ali laughed. "Oh, Fati, you can't be Bettia's manager."

"Why not? I wanna be Bettia's manager!"

"But you don't have the experience. You're just a child."

"I'm not a child! I AM experienced! I'm 245 years old!"

"No no, I mean to do a job like that, you need to learn how to do the job properly, and it's not something you can learn off a computer game."

"Awwww!" Fatarani said, crossing her arms as she prepared to go into an almighty sulk.

Fat Evan laughed. "Hey, I hear Pifton Town are looking for a new manager. Maybe you can start there!" he joked. Fatarani looked up at him, wide-eyed in excitement.

"Really! Wow, that'd be so cool!" she squealed as she took off and headed for the door. "Yay! I'm gonna be a football manager! Wheee!"

"No, wait! I was only... joking..." Evan called out behind her, but it was no use - she was already halfway down the street, making her way to the George and Doris Ground, the home of Pifton Town FC which was named in honour of their old friends.

"Oh man... this is going to be trouble. The poor kid's gonna be so disappointed."

"Yeah. I reckon the guys over at Pifton Town are gonna be in for a rough ride. Call it a hunch, but I'm guessing pissing off an Ifrit won't be such a good move."

A little while later, things were winding down as the Pie & Pixie's customers started to make their way home. All of a sudden, Fatarani burst in decked out in a pair of brown training bottoms, a sheepskin coat which was about ten sizes too big for her, and an old fedora hat. She stood in the doorway, proudly showing off her new kit whilst everyone else just stared at her in disbelief.

"Hey guess what guys!" she said giggling.

"Oh no... don't tell me - they..." Ali groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"They gave me the job! I'm a boss! A gaffer! A guvnor! I'M PIFTON TOWN'S NEW MANAGER!"

Fixtures / Results

MD..OPPONENT................VENUE...RESULT

Knockout Stages

2R: Zwangzug................Central....

First Round, Group G

01: Bostopia................Dunboor....W 5-1
02: The Lowland Clans.......Dunboor....W 4-0
03: Turori..................Astari.....D 1-1

Qualifying Group 5

FR: Az-cz...................HOME.......W 3-2
01: Spruitland..............Away.......L 1-2
02: Dance 2 Revolution......HOME.......W 4-2
03: Shackfold...............Away.......W 6-1
04: Kansiov.................HOME.......W 7-2
05: Green wombat............Away.......L 2-4
06: TT Lake Side............Away.......W 2-0
07: Bazalonia...............HOME.......W 3-2
FR: Az-cz...................Away.......L 1-3
08: Spruitland..............HOME.......W 4-0
09: Dance 2 Revolution......Away.......W 3-0
10: Shackfold...............HOME.......W 5-1
11: Kansiov.................Away.......W 6-1
12: Green wombat............HOME.......W 4-0
13: TT Lake Side............HOME.......W 5-1
14: Bazalonia...............Away.......D 2-2

Ariddia

18-08-2007, 15:19

sorry to any of the women if there are any here but do you men only talk about the world cup? its silly. it makes me soooo annoyed.

OOC: As the founder of all this “silliness”, a quick reply.
a) You’re in the wrong thread. Out of character comments go in the Discussion thread. If you have anything intelligent to say, go and do it there. Alternatively, feel free to locate the Rants thread and have fun with it. Don’t clutter up the roleplay thread.
b) There are indeed several women here. So it’s all right for them to be interested in football, but it’s not all right for men? You can take your sexist preconceptions and double standards elsewhere.
c) If you had the faintest clue what was going on, and if you bothered to find out what NationStates is before coming in here and making a fool of yourself, you’d realise we’re not talking about the real world World Cup. I’ll leave you to figure that one out.
d) Of course we talk about other things than football. Again, before blundering in here and making a fool of yourself, try to find out who we are. We do other RPs, many of us post in the General forum on a wide variety of topics… and, surprise, surprise, we also do things and talk about things outside NS!

IC:
http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/6146/arifootball11ms4.jpg
Four of the Rouge-et-Noirs: Richard James (21), Elmi Hamzah Guirreh (6), Jeremy Isaacs (8) and Asul E'i (19)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 1-0 Zwangzug http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/zwangzug.png

Ariddia defeats Zwangzug; both qualify

It was, on the whole, a satisfying result. The Rouge-et-Noirs expressed their pleasure at an opportunity to meet their counterparts from Zwangzug on the football field; the two socialist nations have much in common, and their most important cities (Merano and Rêvane) are twinned, leading to significant contact and travel. Shortly before the match, Ariddian Ambassador to Zwangzug Robert Hedge expressed his respect and admiration for the Zwangzug team.

The Rouge-et-Noirs’ only goal came courtesy of Thomas Dargeau – who has clearly made a name for himself as more than just the descendant of 19th century novelist Annabelle Laurier (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Annabelle_Laurier). Cassie Lee was in good form, as she stopped what could have been a dangerous equaliser. One goal was the bare minimum, but it was enough.

“I’m glad Zwangzug are through to the next round,” team captain Myo Thet Myint said. “It was the perfect result: we beat them, but we didn’t eliminate them. I feel sorry for Jeruselem, though.”

The current vice-champions will face Bostopia in the next round. While most predictions favour the Ariddians –who are back to their usual selves after a shaky start in the qualifiers– the coach is expressing caution.

“There are no easy opponents at this stage, especially not Bostopia,” Jane Sanderson warns. “We can beat them, of course; we have the skill for that. But they’re good, and it will take a lot of effort and concentration.” Sanderson’s job as the team’s first ever woman coach is now secure after recent performances.

Meanwhile, many Ariddian supporters have adopted a surprising new anthem to chant in the stadia. The Song of the Haddock (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12970757&postcount=593) has proved far more popular than anyone could have expected, and can now be heard, incongruously, sung to cheer on the national team.

Mildly controversial has been the appearance of an amateur, one-off Ariddian pop band, the Haddokkites, who have put the poem to music and perform a revised version of the ulek (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ulek) while singing it. Some people have muttered about “disrespect for ancient traditions”, but most Ariddians have said they appreciate the humour. “If they put their song on the Internet, I’ll download it,” Indigenous Ariddian Rouge-et-Noir midfielder Ewa Shwuo said.

Shahrour investigates Cafundéu

Cafundéu is well known to the Rouge-et-Noirs, three of whom play there professionally. It is also the home of former player Ke Sho (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ke_Sho), who lives there with his wife and son and is now a citizen of the country. But for human rights activist Jamilah Shahrour (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Jamilah_Shahrour), it is an opportunity to investigate the human rights situation in Cafundéu.

“I’m preparing a report,” Shahrour told the press. “I’ve talked to a lot of local human rights organisations, some of them clandestine. The picture I’ve seen so far is one of big companies that are effectively above the law and commit routine violations of human rights to increase their profits.”

As always, the Ariddian government declined to comment on Shahrour’s activities and investigation.

Jeruselem

18-08-2007, 15:36

Jeruselem Government News

Ex-Jeruselem coach gets into Top Gear

Retired Jeruselem coach Dazza Dallas has been named as a host of a new TV series Top Gear Jeruselem. The show will be modelled on the original series but the hosts will be local Jeruselemites.

The show will not be weekly, but monthly and will be two hours long instead of one hour. This is due mainly to the fact Dazza Dallas is retired from international football but still coaches her own team the Tel Aviv Sharks as well as running her business empire.

Dazza Dallas was perfect for the show due her high profile and the fact she owns the most cars for any individual in Jeruselem. She is also the same height as Richard "The Hamster" Hammond with her totally unique outlook on life.

One unknown fact about Dazza Dallas and cars, is she is also known as "Miss Ferrari" in dealer circles. She is always the first to try out a new Ferrari model and has fetish for the cars. She also has a very bad speeding fine record.

Demot

18-08-2007, 17:30

"Good result guys, and with the result coming in between the Gnomes and Bazalopes, it looks like we've taken the group. I'm real proud of you all, espicially you Maryweather. I don't know what you've changed in your game the last few months, but whatever it is, keep it up. Those two goals tonight are just another notch in your growing reputation, keep it up, and you just might be above Black and Ysman in the greatest footballers this country has ever produced.

The lot of you have really exceeded my expectactions this tournament, and with the odds stacked against us, it's time for you to overperform again. We have a tough challange in Cafundeu ahead of us. We've played them before and have been successful, but this time they have the home field advantage and have that extra inspiration with being the host of the event to get it done in front of their supporters. But I say to ye, why not us? Sure we're a makeshift side that isn't as talanted as many of the other squads, but where we lack in talent we make up wiht our teamwork and tactics. As long as we can keep the pressure of Orien we should be okay in the back. Vorca, I'm looking to you to control the midfield and direct the attack. Maryweather, just keep doing what you're doing and we'll be fine. Now I have a few questions for all of you.

What is our mission?"

In unison "To bring honor to the country!"

"And how are we going to do this?"

"Playing hard and winning!"

"Who stands in our way?

"Ourselves and only ourselves as long as we believe!"

"And what do you have to say to your doubters?"

"Do what is needed!!!"

"Exactly what I wanted to hear, now hit the showers, and rest tonight, you earned it."

Elves Security Forces

18-08-2007, 18:36

Elven Times
Predictions Galore

Seeing as how this tournament I've neglected creating a set of predictions for either the qualifying rounds or the group stage of the Proper, my boss (which is ever so convientally my husband) has decided that the need for outlandish predictions needs to satiated and I've decided to go and predict the entirety of what is left of the tournament.

Round of Sixteen
Wentland vs Az-cz
The gnomes just did manage to squeak into the knockouts after being humbled by the Dynamo while the defensive wonders Wentland found just enough offence to top their group with seven points. I think the Gnomes get it done and finally put the unattractive style of Wentland to bed.

Ariddia vs Bostopia
The last big name from the class of '29 to finally make the Cup Proper and suprisingly advanced out of a difficult group. Thier reward however are champions of two of the last four Cups, but there might some hope as the Ariddians have been offkey for some part of the tournament. In the end, Bostopia's dream ride will be cut short, and the former champs continue on.

Bettia vs Zwangzug
Zwangzug are surprise sight in the Round of Sixteen, but Bettia clearly is not. This one might turn out ugly as the Aoras are in top form are looking great to ring in another title.

Demot vs Cafundéu
Our former colony stumbled out of the starting blocks with a surprise loss to the Bazalopes but bounced back by getting their first ever victory against the Az-cz squad and dispensing Estresse Intenso to top the strong group. The hosts aren't in the best of form, but their advantage of being at home just pushes them over the Dynamo.

Capitalizt SLANI x Fmjphoenix
Fmjphoenix really should not be here and the SLANI side will draw upon thier class and supporters to send their oppisiton home with ease.

Schiavonia x Sel Appa
The Sloths are one of just three squads ranked ahead of us in the World, while we loathe the Turtles of Sel Appa. If Elune has any decency at all she will ensure that the Sloths completely demolish the Sel Appa side and teach them a lesson they wont soon forget.

Errinundera x Squornshelous
While neither of these sides are great, they both are solid through and through. Based on what we know of Squornshelous, it can be said that Errinundera has the advantage. It really could go either way, but I'm going with Errinundera because the Marauders knocked off the Squornies in a friendly and I'd rather see a foe we've never faced before.

Elves Security Forces x Vilita
And that leaves our matchup against the Jungle Cats of Vilita. The Marauders have been one of the best teams in the tournament and are the most balanced side according to the stats. Meanwhile, the Vilita squad is coming off a Proper last time where they reached the semifinals, but don't have the firepower to get past the Marauders this round. Expect a 3-1 victory in the Elves favor.

Quarterfinals
Az-cz - Ariddia
This is where we get a plethora of good matches starting with the Gnomes and the founders. While Ariddia is indeed the founder of the competition and winner of two of the last four, I do see fault in their form. As such, the Gnomes escape into the semifinals on penalties, leaving the former champs with a bitter taste in their mouth and utterly dissapointed.

Bettia - Cafundeu
After just slipping by the Dynamo, the Monopolists get a powerhouse in Bettia and are looking to be lined up for the knockout punch here. The Bettian attack is just too powerful and the hosts will have only a marginal chance of advancing, and Bettia rolls on into the semis.

SLANI - Schiavonia
Unlike their partners, the SLANI side has history and is in general a more talented side. Going up against a top 3 side in the world would be a difficult challange for anyone, but with the momentum they have, they progress in extra time, as the Sloths come back down to reality.

Errinundera - Elves Security Forces
Intersting enough, this is the first time these nations will have ever met in a fixture. The Errinundera side has a long history compared to ours, but we have become fast learners and surprassed them in talent. While it is a shame to see a respectable side like theirs go down, the Marauders march on to their second semifinal appearance in three tournaments.

Semifinals
Az-cz - Bettia
Two Atlantian Oceania nations that are quite familar with each other. The Gnomes will be looking for revenge for the times that Bettia has bounced them out of the knockouts but once again the Aroras flex their attacking muscle and send the Gnomes into the third place game while they make the final for the second straight tournament.

SLANI - Elves Security Forces
This is rematch of the World Cup 34 Third Place Playoff where the Marauders pulled off the stunning upset with a two to nil scoreline, with that result seeming to jetison the squad to the top of the heap. This is where the hosts advantage finally runs out as they will once again fall to the Marauders, and will have to make due with just being one of the last four nations in the competition.

3PPO
Az-cz - SLANI
With both nations quite dissapointed with not making the final after coming soo close, one of two things will happen. Either they will be looking to end on highnote and put up a stellar much, or be too upset over their defeats to put up an attractive affair. Either way, I see the SLANI federation taking it home thanks to being it at home.

Final
Elves Security Forces - Bettia
I'm staying with my lone prediction at the start of the tournament, the Bettia side is just a tad stronger than our Marauders and should take home the title. The only way I see the Marauders taking home the title is if they draw upon the revenge factor for being knocked out by the Bettians in the last tournament at the quarterfinal stage. If they can do this, they will have more than a chance to bring home the title and finally cement their elite status in the world. Either way, it should be an attractive last match before the ending ceremonies.

Article by Luna Santapa

Zwangzug

18-08-2007, 19:53

Player-identification contest announced:

"All the forwards scored, even those two-Well, at least we won, right?"

"Scoreless draws. Meh."

"It was as if they were undergoing a mass hallucination."

"But it scared them from shooting at our goal, so I won't complain."

"Hey, I can't let the forwards have all the fun, can I? Miller had scored, so yeah, easy blast past Mitchell."

"I got away with three points and an intact team, which is all I can ask."

"1-0 was fine, since they've really honed their defense since the last time we played. And the old captain turned up with his commie girlfriend, and now we get Bettia, and..."

"What do you mean you don't understand tiebreakers? You don't need a computer to figure out that much."

"> than the Fire Ants."

"Dunno if I can hal my w8 arownd much longer."

""no funds will be allotted to departments not mentioned above"? It took the government how long to come up with that?"

Cafundeu

18-08-2007, 19:55

RP Cutoff for Second Round games (Oitavas-de-Final)

UCS Games Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12977027&postcount=28)

Cafundéu Games Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12976988&postcount=27)

Bostopia

18-08-2007, 21:00

Hayley Reanfeld is interviewing Kelly Firth in the players tunnel

[Reanfeld] Kelly, what happened out there?

[Firth]Apparently, the Ariddians didn’t take kindly to us mocking their Coupe de la Francophonie before the game. Four goals for them knocked us out of the first World Cup we’ve ever qualified for, but at least we can take heart that we did better than Oliverry, who didn’t even make the knockout stage.

[Reanfeld] And Sel Appa lost too – that’s another front Bostopian fans won’t have to deal with.

[Firth] Yeah, you know, it really gets tiresome with us getting broadsided by teams referring to us as newbs (that’s how she pronounced it) and perhaps it’s time for them to grow up. We’ve made our point now, we’ve beat big teams to get here, and there is no way we’ll ever look back.

As Hayley is about to open her mouth again, the strains of “You’ll Never Walk Alone”, currently number one in the charts in Bostopia, echoes throughout the stadium, belted out by the thousands of Bostopian fans who have travelled to the game, remaining upbeat despite their loss

[Reanfeld] Wow, that’s impressive.

[Firth] Yes, the Emperor recommended it. It seems sometimes that he knows about a whole other world he can just dip in and out of, it’s really odd.

[Reanfeld] Like the World Cup 36 management game that was released?

[Firth] (She laughs) No, though I must admit I had us beat Ariddia on that game a few times, but we’d normally lose in the Quarter Finals. Hopefully that’ll be where we get to next time, and maybe a bit further. We can only hope we improve now.

[Reanfeld] And what’re your next plans?

[Firth] Well, there’s a media course we’re going on in Jeruselem, it’ll be good to see Dazza Dallas again as she’s running, and then I’ll be watching Bostopian football until World Cup 37 qualification!

[Reanfeld] Alright, thanks Kelly, and I’m sure I speak for all the fans when I say thank you for getting Bostopia this far in the cup.

[Firth] Oh, one last thing, I’d like to thank the Unified Capitalizt States and Cafundéu FA’s for hosting this World Cup, and to their people for being so welcoming to us. We all in the team hope we can see you all sometime soon. And of course, thanks to the Bostopian fans, and good luck to the Elves Security Forces!

Kelly pulls out a scarf in the colours of the ESF

[Reanfeld] Well, a ringing endorsement there that no-one back home will mind. And with that, for the final time after a Bostopia match in WC36, it’s back to the studio.

Az-cz

18-08-2007, 21:50

Amda-Mo: Well we've made our fourth consecutive quarterfinals after breaking Wentland's heart winning 2-1 in extra time.

Lur-Mn: Amazingly it was the 117th minute again, just like it was last cup against Bazalonia. And Pizelkaxrovsky once again saved our ass. That through pass to Kn-Dg was just an unbelievably great play.

Amda-Mo: What happened at the end of the game on Wentland's goal to get it to extra time?

Lur-Mn: Well like most fans it seemed we were well in control after Ho-Lee Chung scored in the 32nd but there were just a number of mistakes from the defense on the goal. When Nerazzurri failed to get in front of the shot you could see the disappointment on his face. It was just a flash and he got back into a strong mindset. After that they locked down. So they played mostly well, but they're still giving up too many mistakes.

Amda-Mo: Looking ahead to our next match, it's a rematch of the quarterfinals from last time around against Ariddia. How do you see that?

Lur-Mn: Well we're both very good teams. They're more on form at this point but we might have an edge in determination. We can't afford any of the mistakes that cost us against Demot and nearly cost us against Wentland.

Amda-Mo: So do you think we'll win?

Lur-Mn: It's hard to say. I think it will be a great game but both teams are great sides so there's no way to really make a prediction.

Amda-Mo: Let's look around to the other games, what stands out?

Lur-Mn: Well clearly the upset of the day was Zwangzug polishing off Bettia. And not just beating them but crushing them into the dirt 3-0. Not the greatest way to end their stretch as champion. Cafundeu taking down Demot was a small upset but not a huge one considering home field advantage. That also means that one of those two teams will be a surprise semifinalist. In Commerce Heights, the Slanis, Schiavones, and Elves all winning was as expected. The last is Errinundera's amazing thrilling match against Squornshelous. 3-3 after 90 minutes and 5-4 after extra time finally allows Errinundera to make the next round.

Amda-Mo: Ok, let's go to the rankings for the quarterfinals. Which two teams are left out and what's the order for the rest?

Lur-Mn:

6. Cafundeu

This was a tough call. Zwangzug's second round win was the most impressive, but with the least impressive group stage. And we're the biggest name but just slipped by where as Cafundeu picked up a big win over a good Demot side, so they earned the nod here.

5. Errinundera

Followed up a nice group stage with their amazing win over Squornshelous. Showed plenty of offense and determination and didn't get rattled despite all of Squornshelous' goals. They'll need to tighten up at the back, but they looked good.

4. Commerce Heights

Like most had expected they throttled Fmjphoenix. After a nice group stage they stayed on a nice line. Things will get tougher now, but with home field advantage they'll be strong.

3. Schiavonia

Not the best performance from Schiavonia. They only scored a single goal against the Turtles, but they did pitch the shut out to get them through. They're just about on exactly the same plane as Commerce Heights so that'll be a good game.

2. Elves Security Forces

The Elves Continue to look good downing Vilita. Considering all the energy Errinundera expended they ought to make it to the next round. They seem supremely focused on bringing the title home. With the way their talent has developed they could do it.

1. Ariddia

However it is the Rouge-et-noirs who have been best up to this point. A perfect group stage where they dispatched both Jeruselem and Zwangzug and then gave Bostopia a brutal introduction to the world cup knockout rounds. They're in scary form right now and it will take a wonderful game for us to take them down.

Amda-Mo: Well everyone knows how great a side they are. Let's hope we can get some revenge. Joining us next time for that wonderful repeat from last cup.

Cafundeu

19-08-2007, 01:19

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 36 COVERAGE – FROM LASFT, CAFUNDÉU
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
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HEROIC VICTORY AGAINST DEMOT

http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/8572/brasiliensezhy6.jpg
Flecha cries after scoring the first goal

Cafundéu returned to the Obelisco Monumental to play another game for World Cup 36. This time, the opponent was the dangerous team of Demot. With the main players, the coach Júlio Vargas mantained an offensive strategy that worked well during most of the game. The Monopolists could open a two-goal lead, but failed to keep the advantage in the last minutes of the game. But, with one player less, Cafundéu counted with the ability of Anormal to decide the game, and go to the quarterfinals for the first time in the World Cup.

This difficult game showed that Cafundéu really has talent to defeat its most dangerous opponents, but also showed that the team need to control its anxiety to keep the positive results. Another good news for the Cafundelense supporter is that Bettia lost, so the Monopolists won’t face the best team of the world. Instead, they will face Zwangzug, a team that we beat before (three times). But are these really good news? If Zwangzug could beat Bettia, it means that they can beat anyone.

Now, the team leaves the city of Lasft, with its beautiful beaches and people, to go to Abadia. A good city with a nice (and new) stadium that will host this important game of the quarterfinals. The team will only miss the midfielder Dário, suspended after being sent off in the game against Demot. Neto will substitute him. One another note, the referee of the game between Errinundera and Squornshelous was attacked during the game. The attacker is participating in the Ref-Agression Contest, and probably won many points with that.

THE GAME

Cafundéu started offensive, attacking with the help of the supporters. Demot had an offensive strategy too, but couldn’t get the ball possession in the first minutes. In the first attack, Dário got the ball in the entrance of the area and shot, sending it wide. Vorca counterattacked, passing the ball to Lewis, but Eduardo Monte took the ball, shooting it to the attack. Eduardo’s shot was very strong, and went to the area. The ball hit the ground, the goalkeeper couldn’t control it, and Flecha appeared to head and score the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“Demot comes with Lewis, who is in a good position. He rrrrruns against the defence, trrrrries to pass past Eduarrrrrdo... good tackle! Eduardo clearrrrrs the danger with a powerful shot. The ball goes directly to the attack, Orrrrrien leaves the goal... he stopped, the ball made a strrrrrange currrrrve... Flecha comes to take it... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Demot made a huge mess, we’ll see it again in the rrrrreplay! Flecha, number nine! Cafundéu one, Demot zerrrrro!”

The first goal was a huge shock for the Dynamo team, which was expecting a more close game. Not that Cafundéu was dominating the game, but this goal really was a huge blow for them. So, Demot attack, wanting to score fast. In one play, Conner found Maryweather in an excellent position and passed the ball. Maryweather invaded the area and shot, but Júnior made a great save. Conner tried to retrieve the ball, but he stepped on it and fell. Chico Serra took the ball back laughing.

Demot continued attacking, and was playing better in the game. Falls made a long ranged pass to Stark, who headed the ball to the attack. Corin got it and shot to the goal, but the ball went wide. Cafundéu was dangerous sometimes, in counterattacks. In one of them, Barbosa made a good crossing and Heitor headed the ball, obligating Orien to make a good save. In the last chance of the first half, Corin invaded the area, dribbled the goalkeeper Júnior and shot to the open goal. Anormal appeared and stopped the ball, saving Cafundéu. Read Breno Gavião:

“Flecha’s goal is deciding the firrrrrst half for the Monopolists. But Demot wants to scorrrrrre, and this is the last chance in this half. The ball goes to Corrrrrrin, Eduardo fails to chase him. Júnior leaves the goal, Corrrrrrin prrrrreparrrrres the drrrrrible, he will scorrrrre now... shoots.... ANORRRRRMAL!!! Marrrrrvelous, brrrrrilliant, awesome, outstanding! Anorrrrrmal saves Cafundéu stopping the ball in the arrrrrea! Problems with electrrrrronical equipments? Go to Rebeca Eletrrrrrônica, where you can fix your equipment by a good prrrrrice!”

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/1787/fernandaomarcacao1611oo0.jpg
Players battle for the ball in the midfield

Both teams made changes for the second half. Vargas decided to test Coelho in the left wing, as he was excellent in the trainings. Masteron had to make Demot more offensive, to try to get at least the draw. In the first minutes, the game was very difficult, and, in a violent foul, Dário received his second yellow in the game, being sent off. Vorca took the free kick, but missed the goal. Minutes after, Rato went to the attack and crossed the ball to Heitor, who hit the ball with a perfect volley and scored the second goal of the game. Read Breno Gavião:

“Anorrrrrmal keeps the ball in the midfield, looks to the attacking arrrrrea. Rrrrrato and Coelho arrrrre his options. Good pass to Rrrrrrato, who drrrrribbles Starrrrrk. Rrrrrato rrrrruns, he is verrrrry fast, the opponents fail to go after him. Rrrrrreaches the end of the field, crrrrrosses, Heitor for the volley! Look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! This must have a replay! Heitor, number eleven! Cafundéu two, Demot zerrrrro! Buy Zeca Comics, funny and nice to rrrrread!”

Scorrrrring two goals, the Monopolists seemed on top form, and would be able to control the result easily. But Demot wasn’t dead, and replied well, five minutes after the second goal. Ben was with the ball in the centre of the field, dribbled Barbosa and passed the ball to Vorca, who just adjusted the ball to his stronger foot and shot. Júnior jumped to try to save, but the shot was really good and he had no chance. Goal for Demot.

Cafundéu held the victory for many minutes, after making other two changes in the team. But Demot was pressing, and had some chances to score, while Cafundéu defended more. And the goal was scored. Vorca shot again from outside the area. This time, the ball hit the bar, but returned to Falls, who shot and scored the goal. The supporters couldn’t believe that Demot was able to tie the game, and were disappointed. Happiness only returned to their faces when Assis invaded the area and made a good crossing to Anormal, who headed to score the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“The stadium is now quiet. After the excitement that came when Cafundéu scorrrrred two goals, now we can see the sad faces of the supporterrrrrs. And Cafundéu attacks, one of the last attacks, one minute in the injurrrrry time. This is the hope of the supporterrrrrs. Assis, drrrrribbles Corwin, goes to the attack. Invades the arrrrrea, the ball is crrrrrossed, is for Orrrrrien or Anorrrrrmal, he headed... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Replay, please! Anorrrrrmal, number five! Cafundéu thrrrrreee... Demot two!”

AFTER THE GAME

After such a dramatic victory, the reporters were anxious to hear something from the players and the coach. The first to talk was the coach Júlio Vargas, who said: “Incredible. We were playing so well, then suddenly they score two goals, it was horrible. But, when nobody was expecting, we showed that we can overcome all the difficulties. Anormal’s goal represented our will and our dedication, and we’ll continue playing this way.”

Eduardo Monte said: “When we were winning the game, it seemed that our qualification was secured. Maybe we let they grow in the game... luckily, we were able to score in the last minutes, and now we’ll do our best to defeat Zwangzug.” Flecha said: “Good game. I’m surprised to know that Bettia lost to Zwangzug. Well, this scares me. A team like Bettia, with many good players... out of the cup? Now, we need to be extremely cautious on our next game.”

http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/7202/flaxsantoandreje1.jpg
Supporters pray in the last minutes of the game

CAFUNDÉU 3x2 DEMOT

Place: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft.
Attendance: 220,000 people.
Referee: Marcus Trassendhorfel (The Holy Empire).
MOTM: Anormal (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho (Coelho 45’), Eduardo Monte and Chico Serra; Anormal, Barbosa (Neto 82’), Rato and Dário; Flecha (Assis 74’) and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/demot.png DEMOT: Orien, Matai (Ben 45’), Falls, Corwin and Mercedes; Stark (Sans 67’), Vorca and Conner; Maryweather, Corin (Santa Maria 86’) and Lewis.
Coach: David Masteron.

Goal:CAF: Flecha 7’ , Heitor 61’ , Anormal 91’.
DEM: Vorca 66’ , Falls 83’.

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Cafundéu – formation for the game against Zwangzug: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Chico Serra; Anormal, Barbosa, Rato and Neto; Flecha and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.
Style of +3

Match’s Referee: Stephane Rechellier (Oliverry).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

3- Heitor
2- Rato
1- Toninho, Anormal and Flecha

Errinundera

19-08-2007, 01:59

haimaidu's column from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) City News.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/FallsCityNews.gif

HIGH FIVES WITH HAIMAIDU

How do you do? It’s a happy haimaidu.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/haimaidu.jpg

Squornshelous Squeezed Out

The news of the massive celebrations back home in Errinundera has been eagerly lapped up by the team here in Querzakhi after returning from the win against Squornshelous in Commerce Heights. Ah, the wonders of YouTube. Hundreds of fans have posted videos of the celebrations and we spent a deliriously happy evening watching them one after the other.

Your support is truly appreciated by the team. We know how horrendously expensive it is in the UCS and it’s a shame so few fans could afford to come to the Cup but we don’t ever forget the millions upon millions of fans watching the games on public screens back home. Of course, it’s winter in Errinundera so the dedication of our fans getting up to watch pre-dawn matches in the rain or snow is inspiring.

As a new motivational tool, our coach withare hired 20 extra large screen computers prior to the match and placed them around the change rooms at Metropolitan Stadium. They displayed real time footage of the crowd at each player’s local public screening back home. Each of our computers had a camera and microphone attached so we could address our home crowd before the game. I had tears in my eyes when I saw the fans in front of the canal in Upper Falls.

The game itself was brutal and bitter, with two serious altercations that will have fans arguing for years to come. To say that the rivalry between the sides is intense is to put it mildly. Back in the old days the Gorillas, as the Potoroos were then called, played in some legendary World Cup sudden death matches, notably against Audioslavia, Quohog and Spaam. (The match against Quohog went to 9-8 on penalties, for many years a record in the World Cup.) This match will go down in memory with those titanic struggles.

breretond did his usual trick and scored in the 23rd minute. Problem, though: he won’t be doing it next match as, in an altercation a few minutes later with the Squorn defender Njord Fridtjof, both players received a red card. I didn’t see the incident as it happened at the other end of the ground: I simply refer people to the video footage. This left both teams with only ten players for three-quarters of the match. Well, more than that as it turned out. The Potoroos seemed to be more unsettled by the affair with the Psychoes going on to score the next two goals (Svoboda, Vilho) to go into the break with the lead.

The second half was a tense and torrid affair. snaporoo played a blinder, levelling the scores twice, the second time shortly after Roman Svoboda netted the ball for his second time in the match.

Then came the other serious incident. This time I was close by and, believe me, it looked more sickening out on the field than it does on the replays. I don’t think I have ever seen two players so courageously foolhardy in all my footballing career. The ball had, oddly, stopped dead on the pitch in the Squorn forward half. Pertti Vilho and aryayre both ran straight at it. They looked each other in the eyes and neither blinked. The collision knocked both of them out.

With extra time required neither team was looking too good for the upcoming thirty minutes. Our forward line was a matter of considerable concern for the coaching staff. breretond was off, snaporoo had stopped to a walk, himmelfar was still on the sidelines recovering from his concussion earned at street football, and avilmou and otemki were out of form. The latter had been substituted by ovaroo who was also struggling. Our coach withare then pulled a rabbit out of his hat. He rested snaporoo – a big gamble as she had been our best forward – and totally reformed the side from the attacking 4-3-2 formation to a 2-4-3 set up (remember, we were down to ten players), giving the striking roles to scerberu, who until then had played in the midfield, and avilmou.

This threw the Psychoes completely. scerberu, living up to her nickname, completely destroyed them in the first 5 minutes of extra time, scoring twice. After that the match ground down to slow, wincing, defensive affair. Even Svoboda’s penalty goal near the end of the extra time seemed tedious.

After you win a close game it’s funny how you forget the tiredness and the aches and pains of battle. When the referee blew her whistle, I tell you, we were dancing around the pitch as if it were a Spring Equinox party.

Our round two hoodoo has finally been broken. Some wit pointed out to us that this is the first sudden death World Cup match Errinundera has won since the legendary World Cup 7 effort. We all hope that is good omen. Our next match is against the Elves Security Forces. We’ll be facing them for the first time ever. Despite the travails currently besetting the team we are looking forward to the match eagerly.

See you soon. May the same leech share our blood. Haimaidu.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 5
(breretond 23, snaporoo 50 & 80, scerberu ET 3 & 5)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Squornshelous.png
Squornshelous 4
(Svoboda, 33, 76 & ET 26, Vilho 43)

Errinundera's WC36 scorers (goals from the Proper in brackets):
13 (6) breretond
11 (3) snaporoo
9 (4) scerberu
8 (1) avilmou
7 immelfar
3 otemki
2 froesu
1 agloir
1 ipieomenicu
1 onito
1 oovaroo

Squornshelous

19-08-2007, 03:49

Squornshelous bows out of this World Cup in a match that was both hideous and beautiful for Pschychoes supporters. It was a physical and often contentious match, like rivalries at this level tend to produce, and this was definitely a match that will be cued up on highlight, and lowlight reels for years to come.

Apparantly young Errinunderan striker breretond has an affinity with the 23rd minute of matches. Anyhow, he scored to put the Potoroos up one at that point, much to the delight of their end of the stadium. However, apprantly something unpleasant passed between the teenager and veteran Squornshelan right back Njord Fridtjof, because following the Potoroos next attack, a shoving and shouting match broke out on that side of the field. Luckily for the young man involved, the officials arrived to break up the bout before the hulking defenseman did something regretable. Both players were sent off and Fridtjof has since issued a public apology for his conduct and formally retired from football.

Squornshelous however, being more of a veteran side (an average age of 28 as opposed to the Potoroos' average of 23), took the incident mor in stride. Axel Tryggve dropped back to play right back, and Pauli Aimo slid over to a center defensive mid role, making a 3-3-3 formation. The Pschychoes kept their focus and scored two goals, from Roman Svoboda and Pertti Vilho, both on defensive breakdowns by the Potoroos. This left Squornshelous up by one at the half.

Errinundera seemed to regain their focus after the half gaining an equalizer from snaporoo, a tribute to their manager, withare, but could not prevent Svoboda from putting another goal in on an early corner kick. However, Squornshelous, with their defense out of its usual formation, couldn't prevent snaporoo from tying the score once again. Soon after, disaster struck.

Squornshelan striker Pertti Vilho and Potoroo defender aryayre collided going after a loose ball. Both players had to be carried off and substituted. Squornshelous chose to take this opportunity to shift to a more defensive formation, sending defenseman Jonathon Olafson on in place of Vilho, moving Tryggve back to defensive mid for a 3-4-2 formation.

However, Vilho, despite mediocre goal production, has been one of the psychological leaders of the team, along with Emil Jalmari. When Otto Torson had to be brought on to replace Axel Tryggve, who played four full matches in the group stage, the Pschychoes defense was shifted once again.

In extra time, the Potoroos made a few radical shifts in their attack, moving midfielder scerberu up to the front line. Out defense, missing leaders Tryggve, Fridtjof and Jonsson for various reasons, couldn't adjust to the change and allowed two quick goals before Pauli Aimo and Sten Mortenson could pull them back together.

Squornshelous was now in serious trouble, and sent Erkki Aatunen in for Dmitri Polokov, who was off form and didn't produce much all match. The hope was that the youngster's speed and fresh legs would produce the goals we needed. Aatunen very nearly did get us even, sending one chance a meter or two high and earning a penalty when he was brought down in the box, but it was too little too late. Other than those two chances, the Pschychoes couldn't penetrate the Potoroo defense.

The bright spot was the fantastic performance of Roman Svoboda, who converted the penalty for the hat trick, bringing his cup total to five goals. If he keeps his form up over the next four years, he will almost certainly captain the World Cup 37 team. Hopefully he'll get the chance to pay the Potoroos back then.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 4-5 Errinundera
(3-3 AFT)

Squornshelous's World Cup Scorers:
Svoboda: 5
Polokov: 2
Aatunen: 1
Jalmari: 1
Kuivalainen: 1
Reimanen: 1
Uolevi: 1
Vilho: 1

Ariddia

19-08-2007, 18:11

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 4-0 Bostopia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/bostopia.png

Ariddians do it in style

Ariddian supporters finally had cause to celebrate after the Rouge-et-Noirs delivered an unexpected thrashing unto Bostopia, progressing to the next round.

The Ariddians had obviously decided to rush into the game headfirst, a tactic which paid off as they were able to catch the Bostopian defence off-guard in the sixth minute. A swift pass from Sa Ley, and Iol Et moved himself into a perfect position for a shot on goal. 1-0. The relatively small number of Ariddians in the stadium went wild.

The atmosphere had been ‘heated up’ by a Bostopian mocking of the upcoming Coupe de la Francophonie, just before the ulek. In consequence, the ulek was performed more fiercely than usual, and some of the Ariddian players seemed fired up and keen to prove themselves. They were encouraged by their supporters chanting, with cheerful enthusiasm and completely off-key:

I wish I were a haddock!
So graceful as it swims!
Its blood-stained fangs are razor-sharp
It stands upon two fins!!
(http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12970757&postcount=593)

Inspiring stuff.

Robert Karr almost equalised in the 13th minute on a corner kick well played by Michael Wake, but a very alert Cassie Lee in the Ariddian goalcage deflected the ball, before Myo cleared it.

And then the Ariddians continued to play at their very best. Harrassing the Bostopian defence, the Rouge-et-Noirs slammed the ball twice more into the net in the first half, through Iol Et and Richard James.

An almost unchanged side appeared for the second half, supported by very excited fans, who no doubt felt that victory could not possibly escape them. Monopolising the ball as much as they could, the Ariddians kept the Bostopian defenders on their toes, often keeping them too busy to mount an effective counter-attack. The Ariddians’ continuing efforts were rewarded when Shahrour (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Jamilah_Shahrour) scored, sticking her tongue out playfully at the camera and giving viewers and spectators a thumbs-up before her team-mates piled on top of her. By then, the fight had almost gone out of their opponents, although Bostopia did struggle on heroically through the closing minutes.

Many spectators later agreed that it had been the best display of Ariddian football since the previous Cup. At last, celebrations and parties have broken out throughout Ariddia, and amongst expatriate Ariddian communities – including those in Zwangzug and Errinundera.

Zwangzug also move forward after a shock 3-0 win over defending Champions Bettia – truly an exploit worth celebrating for all Zwangzug fans. The hosts are both still in it, and the Potoroos have squeezed past Squronshelous –after an exciting extra time during which a total of three goals were scored– and remain in contention. Ariddia’s next opponent, Az-cz, struggled a little to rid themselves of the tenacious Wentlanders, but again the Rouge-et-Noirs aren’t going to be underestimating anyone.

“We look forward to playing the Gnomes,” Myo Thet Myint said. “Especially at this level of the competition.”

Whatever the issue of the next game, the score is likely to be close. But already Ariddians in pubs can be heard chanting optimistically: “Quat’ zéro contre les Gnomes! Quat’ zéro contre les Gnomes!”

Dazza Dallas stopped for speeding in Ariddia

There are reports that Dazza Dallas, now retired from international football, was stopped by a police officer in Rêvane after she was caught speeding. Ambassador Dallas was driving a luxury embassy car, and could not be fined due to her diplomatic immunity. She was, reports say, allowed to drive on after receiving a stern, 10 minute lecture from the police officer.

(OOC: Jeru, I hope that’s OK; you did say recently that Dazza is often fined for speeding. If it’s a problem, feel free to ignore it.)

Elves Security Forces

19-08-2007, 20:22

Elven Times
Through The Woods

It ended a bit more tricky than anticipated, but as predicted, the Marauders have moved on at the expense of the Vilitians. Though the squad dominated vast portions of the game, they only managed the one goal victory, which could be a sign that there are indeed holes that can be exploited in the upcoming round(s). For their part, the Vilita squad was out to prove that they were made of tougher stuff than the various presses where crediting them, and played extrememly well despite the scoreline. What is the most important thing for Marauder supporters this match is not the scoreline, but the fact that the veterans of the squad pulled the team through when it seemed liked things were unwravelling towards the end. Cuellar finally had to do some motivating and directing out there in the midfield, and showed the wisdom of Constant giving him the armband at the start of the campaign when many of the critics would of preferred Jannian or Night. Able to keep his squads calm during those pressuring final minutes, I doubt those critics are not in his corner now.

The match began and things were abit rough. In the first five minutes, there had already been eight fouls committed between the two sides. Things cooled down after the squads finally felt each other out and began to use their tactics and not just breakout attacks and clearances. This is when the Marauders tried to put a stranglehold on the match, firing shot after shot on target only to have Hagen Tews swat , punch away, and make great grabs to rob the squad of the lead in the first half. The Jungle Cats had one good oppurtunity in the first half to put themselves in front and it came in the dying minutes of the half. Matijane intercepted a pass from Jaques to Hawk and began the breakout. Omi was on his right and Dreher on the left as he dribbled past Lopez. As Nickel came in with a clean sliding tackle, the ball skipped right into Dreher's stride and Christian gave a half volley and was unfortunate to see it go off the crossbar and into the crowd.

When the squads came out for the second half, it would not take long for the opening goal to come. Four minutes after the restart, Cuellar had freed up a bit of space on the right side. Using a great touch, he sent in a diagonal ball to Rikard who collected it smoothly and outmuscled Yonas to get inside and the space he needed to get off his attempt. Tews wasn't able to cut off the angle and the low shot squeaked in on the near side and a numerous set of horns comimerated the go ahead goal. Then when Night delivered an unbelievable bycicle kick that just flew into the top corner like it had been fired out of a cannon in the 70th minute, the stadium exploded. Believing the match to be in hand given the Marauders great defensive record in the tournament, the Navy Wave began the traditonal singing of "Stregnth, Honor, and Glory". It however, would be a tad premature.

Once again it would be Matijane to stip a navy shirt of the ball, and spring the counter attack. Cuellar had tried to deliver it to Hawk in the right corner, but Matijane was able to tackle Cuellar before he got off the pass. With Dreher on his left and only Nickel between them and the goal, the midfielder sent the striker chasing the ball and caught Nickel on his wrong foot with the through ball. Jacob tried to race out and beat Christian to it, but Dreher would get there first to tap it past St. Louis, jump past the sliding keeper, and just barely catch up to the ball as it was sliding towards the endline to tap it into the empty net and give the Jungle Cats some hope. They tried to push forward in those final six minutes of regulation and the added two minutes of stoppage, but with Cuellar directing the mdifield with a calm not seen before from the midfielder, the navy clad side was able to keep Vilita from crossing into the final third and preserve passage to the next round.

If the squad does indeed wish to bring home the trophy, they will need to raise their game one more level. They have been terrific soo far, but with these last few matches being soo close to the final, other teams will be playing better than they had with the trophy so close to being achieved. Bettia were a victim of not being ready for the knockouts and were surprsingly thumped by the Zwangzug side three to nil, and look to be the supreme surprise package of the tournament. Most of the remaining results are not surpsing, though seeing Demot lose such a close game is tad dissapointing for alot of fans in the nation, as there are still many good feelings towards our former colony. Up next is Errinundera, and the midfield will need to tightly mark Breretond if they wish to keep their oppenents at bay. Getting Hawk more involved in the attack as he had been through the group stage will be vital, as it could prove the difference between these two squads in their first ever meeting.

Elves Security Forces 2
Nikali Rikard (49)
Kiso Night (70)

Vilita 1
Christian Dreher (84)

Scorers
Laborious Hawk 14
Kiso Night 13
Nikali Rikard 10
Xanxz 5
Jere Jannian 5
Anti Fresco 3
Cristi Kries 2
Rick Cuellar 1

Schedule
Proper
MD1: ESF-Yafor 2 1-0
MD2: ESF-Oliverry 3-1
MD3: ESF-Fmjphoenix 5-0
Ro16: ESF-Vilita 2-1
QrtF: ESF-Errinundera

Qualifying
MD1: ESF v Kampfers 2-0
MD2: Tylero v ESF 0-2
MD3: ESF v Assegai Developments 3-1
MD4: ESF v Ad'ihan 3-0
MD5: Tynelia v ESF 1-5
MD6: ESF v Aurendia 6-0
MD7: The Sons of a Monkey v ESF 0-1
MQF: Elves Security Forces v Squornshelous 4–1
MD8: Kampfers v ESF 0-3
MD9: ESF v Tylero 0-1
MD10: Assegai Developments v ESF 1-4
MD11: Ad'ihan v ESF 0-3
MD12: ESF v Tynelia 3-1
MD13: Aurendia v ESF 0-0
MD14: ESF v The Sons of a Monkey 6-1

Article by Luna Santapa

Zwangzug

19-08-2007, 23:51

The game, of course: one to be remembered later, perhaps for a long time. But it didn't feel like that at the time. They'd gone in practically expecting to lose, assured of their forthcoming elimination.

And then in the twentieth minute, Phillip himself had scored off a characteristic crossing pass from Yul and a dribble around Silversmith's back. Up one-nothing, it was a sort of amusing interlude...

Until they restarted after halftime, and Simon Ryne headed the ball in. And then they had to wonder if it was possible. Bartholomew was anchoring the defense, the five-men midfields weaving in and out of each other, and Phillip was trying to guard a defender when Yul drove home the third goal.

The most difficult part of the game was remaining focused for the final minutes. Bettia were the best in the world, after all, and it would be foolish to let down their guard. Yet somehow or other, time passed at its normal speed, the clock running out as some much deeper flow continued steadily.

Up in the comfortable altitude of the Central City, the partying dragged on. Andrew was sniping to anyone who'd listen about the last time they'd played Cafundéu, Eddie was raving about the Bettian Blessing, and the air blurred around them...

It could have been a normal headache, perhaps exaggerated by the previous celebration, but there was something poking at the back of his head. Another one of those confounded slips of paper.

With speed that would have impressed anyone that knew his traditional plodding style, Yul took off down the hallway. But he was no match for the young speedster. "War r u going^"

"2 practis."

"Yeah, that's nis. Y r u runing so fast^."

"Ned 2 practis runing."

"Just lik the last 3 cups."

Whether unable to see that Phillip had just insulted him or simply wanting to get away from the situation, he ran on, Phillip ahead of him. At the end of the hallway, Phillip turned, blocking him once again.

He held up the scrap of paper. "U left that."

Yul didn't want to bother arguing. "Yep."

"Y^"

He shrugged. "¬Y^"

"It bugs me."

"Sore."

"I mit ¬get 2 tok 2 u after the next gam. So tel me, y."

"Y do u car^."

"It bugs me."

"Let me by."

"No."

"I cud probable wok thru u."

"Probable. Y^"

"2 c what u'd do."

Phillip let him by, then followed him around the corner.

Jeruselem

20-08-2007, 00:13

OOC - Ariddia, it's fine but Dazza's in Jeruselem, LOL. I'm pretend she stopped in Ariddia first.

Dazza: Hello, your majesty ... what's the ring for?
Crown Prince: Oh, it's not for you.
Dazza: Aw, what a disappointment! I've always wanted to be princess.
Crown Prince: Um, you think your daughter Kate would want it?

Dazza: She'd better say yes or her Mum will do for her (smiles)
Crown Prince: Then you approve then?
Dazza: Yeah, I just wish I was a bit younger now.
Crown Prince: You're going to be a weird mother-in-law

Dazza: Me? What's wrong with growing up in a whorehouse!
Crown Prince: You're still one I see
Dazza: Hey, Kate's not much different. She's only 14, you in a hurry?
Crown Prince: Well, I have to get my bike before someone steals it.

Dazza: You got the 2nd round results?
Crown Prince: Yeah, have a look.
Dazza: Ariddia beat Bostopia, and what! (faints)
Crown Prince: Zwangzug beat Bettia. You alright Dazza?

Kate: What's up with Mum?
Crown Prince: She fainted when she found out Bettia lost.
Kate: Say, nice ring! You going ask me something.
Crown Prince: Can it wait when you Mum wakes up?

Kate: OK, the answer is yes.
Crown Prince: Wake up Dazza.
Dazza: Hey, what happened! Oh, that. Hey, you going marry him or what?
Kate: Of course, I'm going my royal duty!

Crown Prince: You have wait until you are 16 though.
Dazza: I got a Princess now! (dances)
Kate: Hey, what does the Queen think?
Crown Prince: She doesn't like it but she's not going to stop me.

Cafundeu

20-08-2007, 19:43

RP cutoff for Quarterfinals

Scores of Cafundéu games (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12982781&postcount=29)

Scores of UCS games (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12982781&postcount=30)

Zwangzug

20-08-2007, 22:01

The image displayed on the e-Lipogram's sports page was simple, perhaps. Flecha was celebrating the goal he scored early in the second half. It was Cafundéu's only of the day.

But beyond that happy forward was a universe of detail: if not displayed in the image or attempted to be conveyed in the stilted text, it was there Universes had few objects bigger than galaxies, and perhaps that was where to begin: Galáxia SC, Flecha's team. Its meteoric rise from the lower divisions, up through the Cafundelense system, was impressive. Flecha the "wonderkid" represented his team as well as anyone could.

But he was not the only speedy young forward in the game: Phillip had already scored on a traditional pass from Yul, who'd added another of his own to make it 2-0 at halftime.

So zooming into the Milky Way revealed the individual stars. Arrogant jocks like Simon Ryne, who added a final contribution to give the 3-1 scoreline. And yet, for so many games leading up to this, all three forwards had notched a goal apiece. Somehow or other, something was working.

Past the stars, they claimed, UFOs streamed in Abadia. Perhaps it was that fateful World Cup 34 game that had made Cafundéu so interesting to Zwangzug, but whatever the case, Abadia was twinned with Spenson, and it was the inhabitants of the spaceport city who had turned out to visit-and while they were there, take in a little football.

The man who had selected the image, however, had very little of this on his mind. He simply wanted to get the site updated and have time to reinflate Harvey before heading off to Cafundéu himself. Ariddia in the semifinals? He'd be there. Now if he could just get those lyrics in his head, he'd be sure he could manage to utter the forbidden letter.

Ariddia

20-08-2007, 22:49

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/az-cz.png Az-cz 1-1 Ariddia (2-2 AET; 2-4 PKs) http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

Nail-biting performance sees Ariddians through to semis

Ariddian captain Myo Thet Myint had stated that he was “looking forward” to facing the Gnomes in the quarter-final, but as the first ninety minutes of the match drew to a close it’s possible he was regretting those words. The Az-cz side was not going to roll out of the way to the semis without a struggle to the very last moment.

The Gnomes were looking good from the start, forcing the Rouge-et-Noirs into a more defensive playing style than they would have prefered, and never conceding the ball easily. A shot on goal by El Iot –his name a striking anagram of Iol Et’s– in the 14th minute put Cassie Lee to the test, but the short and energetic Ariddian goalkeeper coped with her usual skill.

The first goal went to Fe Do in the thirty-sixth minute, causing concern among Ariddian supporters. Far from setting the pace, the Rouge-et-Noirs were now having to play catchup.

This they did within a few minutes, when midfielder Ewa Shwuo equalised in the forty-third. It was all square just in time for the end of the first half.

Another three quarters of an hour provided nerve-wracking tension for spectators and narrowly missed opportunities for both sides, before the game stretched on into what the Ariddians had hoped to avoid: extra time.

Keeping their cool but taking increasing risks, the Rouge-et-Noirs pressed in with repeated attacking waves, and Raphaëlle du Valdor scored nine minutes into the first part. Ariddian spectators cheered, and those back home hesitated between a deep sigh of relief and anxious glances at the clock. It was not over yet, by a long way. The Gnomes knew they could still make it into the semis, if they surpassed themselves, and they did exactly that. Four minutes before the whistle, Bn-Ct shattered Ariddian hopes by equalising, and it was all square yet again.

Time to go to penalty kicks.

Lucas Arbustier was the first to face the Gnomes’ dreaded goalkeeper Gn-Lg, who in the past had proved himself excellent on penalty kicks. The tension was at its highest. A single error could prove disastrous.

He shot – and scored. People in the stadium cheered. Arbustier grinned. 1-0.

Ee-Or went next, for Az-cz, facing Cassie Lee for what were Lee’s first championship penalty kicks. The Ariddian goalkeeper looked focused. . . but was unable to stop the shot as it hit the back of her net. 1-1.

Thomas Dargeau sent the ball hurtling in, as did Pizelkaxrovsky for the opposite side: 2-2. There was still no suggestion as to who could possibly win it. It was going to be down to individual mistakes. . . or an outstanding performance by one of the goalkeepers.

Iol Et for Ariddia kicked the ball in past Gn-Lg, making it 3-2. He was followed by Az-cz’s El Iot, who took on a calm, focused expression, and shot, perfectly on target. . . And there was Cassie Lee, hands extended right in the path of the ball! Ariddian spectators burst into loud cheers. 3-2 after three shots each! The Rouge-et-Noirs now had the advantage.

It remained for the next Ariddian shooters not to slip up. Jamilah Shahrour, still fresh from a late entry into the match, walked up in turn. A few local spectators booed her, no doubt in reaction to her comments against Cafundéu’s business practices. She smiled, slightly, and shot the ball into the net. 4-2.

The cheers were even louder than before.

For Az-cz to even remain in the game now, they would have to get their next shot, and the Ariddian shooter, Ann Cove, would have to miss hers. Fe-Do walked up to face Lee, displaying no hint of tension or uncertainty. Lee’s face was equally calm.

The ball hurtled towards her goalcage, and Cassie Lee leapt, clasping and securing it before it could cross the line. The whistle was blown, and the Ariddian goalkeeper scrambled to her feet, releasing the ball at last and letting out a whoop of unrestrained joy. Her team mates rushed round her. Goal scorers clapped one another on the back. Lee had stopped two difficult shots, her team mates had scored all theirs, and Ariddia was in the semis.

It was time to celebrate long and hard throughout Ariddia.

“We studied Az-cz’s tactics in great detail,” coach Jane Sanderson explained later. “They put a lot of strain on us, but we responded by not playing the game they wanted us to play. We pressed back instead defending too heavily, tried not to let them take the initiative, increased the number of our attackers, exploited their weak spot. . . This has been one of the most interesting matches we’ve played, and one of the most challenging.”

Meanwhile, Zwangzug are continuing their good run, having knocked out hosts Cafundéu with the impressive score of three goals to one. The Rouge-et-Noirs will now meet them again for what should be a fascinating ‘rematch’. The Ariddians should have the psychological advantage, but Zwangzug’s team will have an increased determination to win.

The other semi-final will pit Errinundera against the Capitalizt SLANI team, and almost all Ariddians have a clear favourite in the Potoroos.

“An Ariddia-Errinundera final would be fantastic,” says Cassie Lee, who has joint Ariddian and Errinundrian citizenship. “It would be the best final ever. Just imagine! I’m so pleased the Potoroos are doing this well.”

“All this goes to show,” said one supporter, striking in a bit of easy moralising, “that countries which put social issues, the environment and essential rights first can do very well in any field. Errinundera, Ariddia, Zwangzug. . . This is the lefty nations’ World Cup!”

The Capitalizts are not entirely without supporters in Ariddia. A small expatriate community, as well as students and tourists from the Unified Capitalizt States, are expected to show up in Ariddia’s pubs to cheer on their side against the Potoroos. In a spirit of fair play, pubs are displaying the Capitalizt flag alongside those of the three other semi-finalists.

Jeruselem

21-08-2007, 00:50

Dazza and family watching the Ariddia vs Az-cz game ...

Dazza: Aw, crap it's down to penalties!
Kate: Mum, Jeruselem is not playing.
Dazza: That's right, Ariddia win these things - we don't.
Kate: I think Cassie Lee will save the day

Hikfie: Who's Cassie Lee?
Kate: The goalkeeper, ya dope.
Hikfie: Oh yes!
Finn: I think Ariddia will win this one too.

Debbie: We should learn from them, really.
Dazza: Here goes!

<Later>

Kate: That Cassie Lee is a star!
Dazza: Yeah, I wished she played for us.
Finn: She's a lot better than me.
Dazza: Nah, you're best keep in the world.

Debbie: You just say that because you're married to him Dazza.
Finn: I'm not that good.
Kate: But you're still my Dad, I think ...
Debbie: Yes, me and Dazza are bikes.

Dazza: Excitement is over, time for lunch!
Hikfie: Can I help with lunch?
Dazza: You can scale the fish then, I hate doing that.
Kate: Mum got some Haddock today

Debbie: I burn fish, I'm staying out of it. Say Kate, when you getting married?
Kate: I have to wait until I'm 16
Debbie: How did you meet the Crown Prince?
Kate: At school, I fell on him!

Debbie: Learning bad things from Mum I see
Dazza: (Smiling)

Daehanjeiguk

21-08-2007, 01:41

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Commerce%20Heights.png === Capitalizt SLANI === http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Commerce%20Heights.png
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png === Errinundera === http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Ariddia.png === Ariddia === http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Ariddia.png
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Zwangzug.png === Zwangzug === http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Zwangzug.png

This is a presentation of MBC International, report live from Kura-Pelland by Shin Sunggyeom:

申崇謙: Well, it's been an exciting World Cup Tournament, with or without the Empire. And it's been prone to the worst and best upsets, depending on who you are. Let's take a look at our four finalists who will be competing for the crown and glory of the tournament.

The hosts - Capitalizt SLANI - have maintained a very strong form throughout this tournament. They've won every single match, and conceded 2 goals overall, both goals from their final group match against Tynelia. Their recent match against Schiavonia was a prized PK draw, with the hosts keeping the pressure on the opponents in a scoreless match; this comes from their smashing 3-0 wi over Fmjphoenix in the second round. Indeed, the Capitalizts will have proven more than their fair share of professional and international competence - a mark of approval for a fine competition and a fine performance. Their next match against Errinundera will nonetheless be quite a challenge.

Errinundera has fought off criticism and has progressed confidently through the group stage and the Elimination stage. They remain undefeated through the group stage, and their second round finish against Squornshelous was perhaps one of the great highlights of the tournament. They faced another tense match against the Elves Security Forces, winning the match on a 3-2 margin. If anything, they've proven to their opponents that games will be close, and the team with the better endurance will outlast them. So far, Errinundera has shown that it has the superior endurance and skill to finish its matches. Given the standards for these two teams, one can anticipate that the semifinal match will be the most tense and competitive for both teams.

In Cafundeu, Ariddia continues to demonstrate its superb football skill, reaching the semifinals for their third consecutive World Cup. Last Cup, they fell out in the Final Match, and in WC34, they took the championship. If the omens mean anything, they'll likely win this match too. Their journey starts from a less than impressive qualifying tour. In contrast, they've won every single match in the World Cup proper, conceding only 4 goals throughout the tournament. They pounced over Bostopia in their Second Round match, and squeezed an uneasy 4-2 PK win after their goal in extra-time wasn't enough to separate themselves from Az-cz. Indeed, their opponents in the Semifinals will have much to consider in their upcoming match.

Of course, this goes down to Zwangzug - the one shocker in the entire tournament. They were among the 10 teams relegated to the play-off round after qualifiers, and managed to slip into Group F with Ariddia. In the Group Stage, they fell short in their final match against Ariddia, losing 1-0. Still, having secured a win against Atheistic Right and a draw against Jeruselem, Zwangzug progressed to the elimination stage, where they faced one of the greatest challenges - Bettia. In a pivotal and awe-inspiring match, they crushed the WC35 incumbent champions 3-0, and went on the Quarterfinals to disappoint the hosts - Cafundeu - on another impressive 3-1 victory. If anything, Zwangzug has proven that they are the team to beat; and much great applause to the victors of this Semifinal match, because it will really test their resolve.

There you have it - the four semifinalists. Which ones will win and face off in the greatest tournament in World Football? Who knows?

Cafundeu

21-08-2007, 03:08

O JUTENSE NEWSPAPER – ASSOCIATED WITH GLOBO MULTIMEDIA

WORLD CUP 36 COVERAGE – FROM ABADIA, CAFUNDÉU
Match Report written by O Jutense editor, Milene Escobar
With phrases and images from Globo Multimedia’s coverage, commented by Breno Gavião
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BEST CAMPAIGN OF HISTORY ENDS WITH DISAPPOINTING LOSS

http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/399/vascoflaok4.jpg
Confusion inside the area during the first half, in the wet field

After defeating Demot, Cafundéu travelled to Abadia to face Zwangzug for the quarterfinals of the World Cup. In the previous meetings, Cafundéu was the victorious team, but now Zwangzug had a better rank, and more motivation after defeating Bettia, the last champions. The Monopolists, defending champions of the Cup of Harmony, had the advantage to play in home field, so everybody was looking forward to see close game.

Before the first half, nature held a surprise for the players: rain, heavy rain. The meteorologists didn’t predict a heavy rain, and during the whole first half, the players had to face the problems of a wet field. Cafundéu and Zwangzug could play well, but the visitors, showing the same football quality shown in the game agains Bettia, could score more. In the end, the supporters of Cafundéu left the stadium furious, and some cars were destroyed outside the stadium.

THE GAME

When the game started, Cafundéu attacked with interesting previously-prepared plays, using the ability of Rato, the speed of Flecha, the positioning of Heitor and the strength of Anormal. In the first chance, Rato ran to the attack, dribbled Hammers and passed the ball to Anormal, who shot with strength. The ball hit Ruck (who left the game injured) and went over the bar. In another, Flecha dribbled two players before passing the ball to Heitor, who was blocked by Card when he was going to shoot.

Zwangzug’s formation confused some supporters. As Cafundéu is a team that often tried to score from long ranged shots, the white-black team had to alternate their three defenders in the position of goalkeeper, which wasn’t occupied. The frequent changes of positioning in their team was something difficult to follow. But the supporters didn’t have problems to follow Maughum’s play. The attacker dribbled Neto and passed to Stings inside the area. Chico Serra tried to block him, but Stings shot using all his strength and scored the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“And Zwangzug takes the ball back with Faustino, fast pass to Maughum. The attacker comes with frrrrree space to rrrrrun. Neto fails to get the ball, Maughum continues with the attack. Looks at the arrrrrea... good pass to Stings, he prrrrreparrrrres to shoot, the defenders trrrrry to block him... but he scorrrrres! Goal for Zwangzug! Stings! Zwangzug one, Cafundéu zerrrrro! Meat, meat and meat, that’s all you want to eat! This is Churrrrrrrrrrascarrrrria Boizão’s motto!”

Cafundéu tried to react after suffering the goal, but had problems in starting the plays, as the rain transformed the field into a swimming pool. Zwangzug faced the same problem, and for many minutes the only possible chances of attack were with long ranged passes, crossing and aerial balls. In the most dangerous, Barons crossed the ball to the area and Barnes hit the ball with a bycicle kick, saved by Júnior. The first half was ending when Zwangzug had another chance. This time, Barnes made a good pass and Maughum scored the goal heading the ball.

http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/922/ed20contra20o20atleticoab8.jpg
Simon Ryne Olson commemorates qualification

When the teams returned for the second half, the field was in a completely different situation: the rain stopped, and the field was nearly completely dry (there was a lot of water in some parts). Cafundéu returned with new shirts, to substitute the wet ones, but with no new players. More offensive and using more the talent of the players, the Monopolists could attack well, and scored the goal after a beautiful play made by Anormal. He dribbled Faustino and Card, and just passed the ball to Flecha, who had no difficulties to score the goal. Read Breno Gavião:

“Now the conditions seem better for Cafundéu. The midfield can work using technique, and the plays arrrrre appearrrrring. Herrrrre comes Anorrrrrmal with the ball. Can shoot frrrrrom therrrrre... no, he decides to invade the arrrrrea... drrrrribbles one, drrrrribbles two... passes the ball to Flecha... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! The replay will come, wait with me! Flecha, number nine! Cafundéu one, Zwangzug two!”

After the goal, Heitor rose his hands to the supporters, indicating that there was still hope. The fans, who were complaining with the average performance of the first half, returned to help the team singing. But Zwangzug woke up after the goal and started to play extremely well, with an impressive amount of quality and dangerous plays. In one of them, Barnes crossed the ball and Barbosa scored an own goal. The referee disallowed the goal marking an offside. An offside of Barbosa, who was in his own area? Yes, a huge mistake of the referee. Minutes after, Olson was fouled inside the area by Eduardo Monte, who elbowed his face. The referee showed a yellow card to the Zwangzug player, saying that he simulated a penalty. The visiting supporters (of Zwangzug) were furious with the referee from Oliverry.

Thanks to these controversial calls of Rechellier, Cafundéu could hold Zwangzug for many minutes, and even had an opportunity to score. Anormal made a good pass to Tales, who tried to score with a chip shot. The “current” goalkeeper, Card, made an excellent save. But Zwangzug returned to attack, and scored. Olson surprised Júnior with a long ranged shot, and secured the victory for his National Team, who advanced to the semifinals.

AFTER THE GAME

The supporters couldn’t believe in the result and criticized some players and the coach Júlio Vargas, who said to the media: “It’s sad to see that some dumb followers of football think that everything will happen like they predicted. Zwangzug had a better rank, and was in better form. Of course I wanted to win, but the supporters came thinking that Cafundéu would win easily, and this is not the way that football works. They need to learn it before returning to the stadium again. I’ll probably leave, but the next coach must be treated with some respect.”

The players talked with the press too. Heitor said: “We even had some chances, but, in the end, we lost. Anyway, this was a great campaign and I leave the World Cup feeling that our mission was completed.” Barbosa said: “This is the end of this World Cup, but the beginning of a new era for our football.” The CCFM will make an important announcement tomorrow, about a ceremony (unknown at the moment) and about the referee of the World Cup final, already decided (probably someone from Cafundéu, or Van-Der-Lei or Luís Fernando Aragão).

http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/1592/flamengomaracaibolibertlq1.jpg
Heitor gives a message to the supporters after Flecha’s goal

CAFUNDÉU 1x3 ZWANGZUG

Place: Arena América, in Abadia.
Attendance: 100,000 people.
Referee: Stephane Rechellier (Oliverry).
MOTM: Eddie Barnes (Zwangzug).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júnior, Léo Mattos, Toninho, Eduardo Monte and Chico Serra (Carioca 76’); Anormal, Barbosa (Tales 60’), Rato and Neto (Assis 55’); Flecha and Heitor.
Coach: Júlio Vargas.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/zwangzug.png ZWANGZUG: Faustino, Hanson and Card; Barnes, Nexus (Onymous 60’), Hammers, Barons and Ruck (Onymous 3’); Maughum, Olson and Stings.
Coach: someone.

Goal:CAF: Flecha 56’.
ZWA: Stings 19’ , Maughum 45’+ , Olson 66’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WC Goalscorers:

3- Heitor
2- Rato and Flecha
1- Toninho and Anormal

Alasdair I Frosticus

21-08-2007, 08:10

THE HOLY EMPIRE FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION
PROUDLY ANNOUNCES

THE INAUGURAL GOLDEN HADDOCK

By order of His Imperial Majesty the Basileus of the Holy Empire, the Holy Football Association would like to announce the inauguration of a new award: the Golden Haddock. This priceless statue will henceforth be awarded towards the conclusion of each tournament to the World Cup semi-finalist whom we feel best embodies the Imperial virtues of frostiness (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Alasdair_I_Frosticus#Law_and_Security).

The Golden Haddock shall henceforth be a recurring feature of the World Cup semi-final stage until such time as A) The Holy Empire again ceases contact with Ordinary Reality or B) The Holy Empire retires the award by winning the World Cup.

Nations may choose to formally apply for the award if they so desire, but we'll probably end up handing it out in some sort of quixotic and arbitrary fashion anyway.

The award shall consist of a 50cm long solid gold figure of a haddock. Intensive recent research by the Holy Empire Football Association and the Imperial Secretariat of the Purple Inkwell* has indicated that the haddock is the single most universally-admired creature in Ordinary Reality.** This magnificent award therefore symbolises not only the virtues of frostiness, but also the bond we all share by participating in the World Cup.

The winner of the inaugural Golden Haddock shall be announced after the World Cup 36 semi-finals.

* as listed in the World Cup 36 Mammoth Compendium of World Cup Lies.
** except in Atheistic Right, where the fish is apparently unknown

Disclaimer: The Golden Haddock is purely in the gift of HEFA. There is no connection between the WCC, the EWCC, the WCC president, or any other official WCC organisation or individual

Errinundera

21-08-2007, 10:15

haimaidu's column from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) City News.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/FallsCityNews.gif

HIGH FIVES WITH HAIMAIDU

How do you do? It’s a delighted haimaidu.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/haimaidu.jpg

Security Forces Overcome

Since the win against the Elves Security Forces yesterday at the Esther Marchese Memorial Stadium in Sonoma City I’ve been afflicted with a constant feeling of giddiness. We are up there in the semi-finals! It’s kinda hard to breathe at these lofty altitudes. Fear of heights is unusual among Errinundrians who, for the most part, hang around in the crowns of enormous trees but I’m not the only Potoroo who finds themselves leaning against walls to regain their balance. I mentioned it to the team psychiatrist, armandfuzzoo, who told me that the whole team seems to be suffering the same problem. She says we’ll get over it.

Before the game we were very concerned about the structure of the team. With Hawks breretond (suspension) and aryayre (concussion) both out of the side the Potoroos seemed somewhat vulnerable. With ipieomenicu out of favour with the selectors at the moment, this would be the first time since the start of qualifying the team would be without at least one of the Bola Mine gladiators. Their skills and intimidating presence would be sorely missed. As part of the recasting of the side, scerberu was once more selected as a striker. Just as it did in the extra time period against Squornshelous, this selection would prove crucial.

There would be one Hawk on the field, however, and that would be the Elves #1 striker, Laborious Hawk and, as you now know of course, I was assigned to tag him. We have never played the Elves before so I spent many hours watching videos with defensive coach, ragle, of LH’s games during the Cup. I also had the good fortune to speak with Yoshikato Azuma from Vilita who managed to shut LH out despite his team’s defeat in their quarterfinal. His advice was invaluable.

Unlike the game against Squornshelous, this wasn’t a physically torrid affair. On the other hand the skills of the two teams were on another level altogether. Without the close attention of the previous game players were able to display their wares to the full. That’s not to say it wasn’t a tense affair. In fact, it was one of the most nail-biting games I’ve ever played in. People say that fear is a great motivator. What I’ll say is that I spent most of the second half terrified that we’d throw away a commanding half-time lead.

snaporoo's performance in the first half was the main difference between the two sides to that point. In a fast paced game, possession had been shared equally. Both sides had several shots on goal but the “alligator”, who’s been having a great Cup, twice found the net. The Elves’ strikers were forced to take their shots from more difficult positions whereas snaporoo twice found herself one out against the keeper, thanks to pinpoint passes from scerberu.

After the break the Elves took the initiative and dominated the game. By the middle of the half they had equalised. In the next 15 minutes they had 6 unsuccessful shots on goal. We didn’t panic and kept to our gameplan, however there were moments of dread when I thought that, surely, this time they would score and draw ahead.

In my experience, whenever I take an enormous risk and it pays off I am left with a nagging sensation of what might have happened if luck had gone the other way. My tackle on the Laborious Hawk as he ran towards goal was one such case. The loose ball was cleared by onito to agloir, who has been our unsung hero in the midfield. agloir then lobbed the ball over a huge pack in the centre of the ground, placing it sweetly on the bounce for scerberu. The “destroyer” ran with the bouncing ball and volleyed it past the straining fingertips of the ESF keeper, Jacob St. Louis. scerberu and agloir then ran all the way back down the field and, along with onito, wrapped me in a ferocious embrace that just about suffocated me.

Some may say that Errinundera snatched the game from the jaws of defeat. I would counter that the Elves’ forwards could have won the game but were unable to do so. That is a testament to the defensive abilities of our team, if I may be so bold to say. That I was also able to shut out Laborious Hawk for the entire match makes this the highpoint of my career. I hope we can climb higher still. To think that we’ll now be playing for a place in the final is, quite simply, awesome.

Being pitted against the Materializts in the semi has created some awkward moments with our hosts here outside the teleport zone in Querzakhi. They have been most generous in putting us up in their homes and we have learned so much of their culture and their strange obsession with wealth. They are rightfully excited that their team has made the semi-finals but they sincerely wish that we also do well. We try to tell them that it’s only a football game but I don’t think we’ve managed to convince them.

See you soon. May falling branches land either side of our path. Haimaidu.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 3
(snaporoo 19 & 26, scerberu 84)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Elves_Security_Forces.png
Elves Security Forces 2
(Someone other than Laborious Hawk 51, someone other than Laborious Hawk 68)

Errinundera's WC36 scorers (goals from the Proper in brackets):
13 (6) breretond
13 (5) snaporoo
10 (5) scerberu
8 (1) avilmou
7 immelfar
3 otemki
2 froesu
1 agloir
1 ipieomenicu
1 onito
1 oovaroo

Schiavonia

21-08-2007, 11:13

The Schiavone Scribe
Sloths Out, No-one Notices

Schiavonia expectedly crashed out of World Cup 36 in the UCS last night, but in the most insipid and tedious fashion ever seen.

Or, if you're Schiavone, probably not seen. A match remarkable mainly due to it's lack of incident. So much so, that a large proportion of the Schiavone population had fallen asleep by the end.

Including us, it seems. Last we remember, there was just not much happening. The two defences were easily controlling the opposition attacks (which, considering the attacking talent on display, is quite an achievement), and at some point late in the second half, we drifted off to sleep like the rest of you, waking up to find that we'd been knocked out on penalties.

According to those recoring such things, the only two penalty scorers for the sloths were David Jones (who once claimed to not actually be Schiavone) and Kenny Sanderson III (son of an oddball), so we can only assume that the players had all fallen asleep, too.

As for any remarkable events during the game, Dīmītrīs Theodōrákīs hit Howard's left hand post with a shot quite early in the first half, but that aside, we might as well not have bothered turning up.

Anyway, we'll see you all for World Cup 37, where Schiavonia will storm through qualifying, before faltering in the knockout stages once again. Bet you can't wait! *yawns*

New Manhattan

21-08-2007, 22:02

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/tribune-wc36.png
AEROPAG, JI · 0.10 g Au · 162–02–19
Tickets to the World Cup 36 Final now on sale for just 1 kg Au!

World Cup: Capitalizt SLANI announces big changes in store
PRONTERA, NM—At a press conference today, Capitalizt SLANI chairman Rikarda Reneda announced several surprises for the future. The purpose of the meeting, as many knew, was to announce the venue for the World Cup 36 final. The first surprise came when he announced that the final would be held in Χρυσάεστος (Khrusáestos), the capital of the Capitalizt state of Ακήλα (Akḗla) on the planet Sirius D, in a newly-built stadium, named Ἀκηλαϊκὰ Ἐθνικὸ Σταδιό (Akēlaïkà Ethnikò Stadió). The stadium, secretly constructed in an enormous underground facility on the planet and teleported to street level as the announcement was made, has a capacity of four hundred thousand humans and fifty-five thousand tea bags, apparently because the owners of the Sokojito Überdome still wanted to claim that their venue was the largest in the Unified Capitalizt States.

That was just the beginning of the announcements. It was soon revealed that an anonymous corporation developed a large-scale interstellar passenger vessel, able to carry one thousand ninety-three people and make a round trip to Sirius D in just over twenty minutes. The transport cost will be included in the World Cup final tickets, one hundred fifty thousand of which will be provided to each of the finalist football associations. The other hundred thousand tickets are, starting today, being sold by Capitalizt SLANI. Also unveiled at the press conference was a system of communications beacons that can fly through hyperspace and provide a continuous delayed video feed from the planet. The Aeropag Tribune will make this feed available to other media outlets through the Internet.

After he was done trying to impress viewers with the new gadgets, Alejandro Bolúfero stepped up to give one more bit of information—that he will be retiring from his posts as manager of Capitalizt SLANI and Sonoma Center Panthers at the conclusion of the World Cup. It is expected that Bolúfero will choose a successor for the national team job soon, but this has not been confirmed.

Expert reactions to the press conference on page φ

Cafundeu

22-08-2007, 02:04

http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/9532/iro0006jg8.jpg
Luís Fernando Aragão, who'll whistle the game...

LUÍS FERNANDO ARAGÃO TO WHISTLE THE FINAL

After the announcement that the place of the Final of World Cup 36 will be the Akēlaïkà Ethnikò Stadió, in Khrusáestos, the CCFM (one of the responsible for the World Cup), made an announcement too. Representing the organization, the Counselor-Minister of Sports Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard said:

"After you discovered which will be the stadium of the final, it'll be fair for you to know who will be the referee of the last game of this World Cup. With a good work done by the CCFM in the backstages, we were able to put a Cafundelense referee to whistle the game. We decided to choose a more prepared one, a serious, fit and efficient man. He is Luís Fernando Aragão. He has already whistled many World Cup games... not sooo many, but approximately five of them, and many games for the qualifying stage. In our National League, he is known as one of the best referees of the country."

Images of Luís Fernando Aragão were shown in a screen. The news didn't surprise the people hearing the announcement and, after all, this wasn't important. Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard also said that his assistants will be Renato Assunção, who substituted the first choice linesman after he got involved in a car accident, and Natália Gomes Borges, the most famous woman of the Cafundelense footballing world.

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/6082/anapaula2405ggdvtl5.jpg
...and Natália Gomes, his assistant

"They're very good professionals, and will help Luís to do a good work," Erasmo said.

Also, worried with a possible agression that the referee can suffer, the CCFM announced that will prepare a special security team to protect Luís, Renato and Natália, composed of a hundred agents of the Cafundelense army. This security is needed, as many referees had been attacked by participants of the Ref-Agression Contest created by the APA.

Bazalonia

22-08-2007, 04:53

OOC:
The old WCDT is dead, long live the new WCDT (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=536285)

Cafundeu

22-08-2007, 20:44

...

Semifinals Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12989668&postcount=31)

Zwangzug

22-08-2007, 23:18

"The opening whistle has blown, and we're live from Lasft in the World Cup semifinals! I couldn't have dreamed we'd ever be here."

"Not even the night after the quarterfinals?"

"It's a figure of speech. Today, two group stage foes face off once again."

"By the end of this game, Zwangzug will have played Ariddia more often than any other team."

"So Nexus gets the ball, passes forward, and it's intercepted by Ley: Ariddia drives forward but is repelled by Mal Faustino. We should be in for some quality football today. Shwuo regains possession and heads upfield, looks for someone open, but Arbustier has to dodge back."

"Avoiding an offsides there: Ariddia have definitely learned from playing Az-cz. Every team comes at you with a different style, and adaptation is crucial."

"Indeed..."

"...Richard James in possession."

"The way you go on about him, he's the best player on the team."

"Well, he's-"

"Never mind, I think I can guess. Changing the subject, how about that final venue? A stadium in space-"

"It's on the planet."

"well, whatever, you still take a spaceship to go there."

"Now if it was in space, we'd have to contend with the gravity issue. Card might be good at that: that's him, leaping to defend against Et."

"Round trip in just over twenty minutes!"

"Yeah, but it doesn't say from where."

"Cafundéu or the UCS, I'd assume."

"But that's logically impossible!"

"How so?"

"Well, you'd have to go faster than light."

"So?"

Charles sighed. "So that's logically impossible?"

"Why?"

"Because your mass would go to infinity."

"Is this that time dilation stuff?"

"Yes."

"Well, how do you know more time hasn't passed for the Capitalizts than for us? They're in the future already, and they can probably make better machines than we can imagine!"

"Why would more time pass for the Capitalizts than us?"

"Well, how often are the World Cups?"

"What?"

"Our players show up looking about two years older every time, don't they?"

"Yeah...plus or minus..."

"Then how come our technology hasn't improved? It should be eight years since we started!"

"It probably has-"

"I'll tell you why. The faster things move, the less time passes, right? And the farther things go while the same amount of time passes, the faster they go."

"Yes..."

"So we're up in the mountains, moving farther around the earth as it rotates, so we go faster, so less time passes."

"That is the most idiotic disgrace to physics I have ever heard."

"Prove me wrong."

"Okay, I will. In order for four years-that's what Ariddia takes between cups-to feel like 57 days, you'd have to be..." Charles began scribbling. "...would you want to subtract the speeds?"

"Do you think I actually care?"

"Yeah. We want the difference between the speed at the top of a mountain that's halfway to Sirius D already the way this is going and sea level. So we'd want to subtract them."

"What do you mean we?"

"I mean you and me. Unless you think you want to take the ratios instead, but I don't think that can be right."

"I don't-look what you've done, you've made me miss an Ariddian goal...

"...the radius of the earth falls out, leaving altitude times pi over twelve...and then you do one minus that squared, all square rooted. Setting both sides equal..." He scrutinized the result. "This isn't outlandish enough. Oh yeah. Times the speed of light in miles per hour, that gives approximately two point five billion miles."

"Lookit, Ariddia scored again..."

"...a hard-fought defeat for the Zwangzug side."

"It hardly feels like they've lost, somehow. After coming through the playoffs when the nation was distracted-"

"After playing for so long when the nation didn't care-"

"And now, heading to the third place game."

The announcers were silent for a minute to let the roar of the crowd be heard. A mob of Ariddian fans began an impromptu rendition of the Song of the Haddock, and Jacob and Roger were waving their arms as if conducting the crowd in the new meta-anthem. Suddenly, the scoreboard flashed, changing the score from the earlier game: Errinundera had just scored in extra time. "...It swings from tree to tree..."

"This amazing tournament isn't over yet, fans," said Alan. "We've got one more game. Can Zwangzug make it a lefty trio? Find out when we take on the hosts once more!"

Ariddia

22-08-2007, 23:38

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 2-0 Zwangzug http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/zwangzug.png

Onward to the ‘best final ever’

It was, many would say, a rather special semi-final. Not only was it a meeting between two countries that have developed close ties, and share common ideals and practices of socialism, it was also a second encounter between two teams that have already gone head to head in this very Cup. Ariddia played and defeated Zwangzug in Group F (1-0), a match that saw both countries advance to the following round. This time, one would be eliminated by the other. For Ariddians, it was necessary to re-edit their earlier performance; for the Zwangzug team, it was vital to surpass themselves and avenge their earlier slip-up.

Zwangzug, of course, were no minnows to be swept aside casually. After stunning the world by forcing defending Champions Bettia into an early exit, with the fantastic score of 3-0, the team knocked out co-hosts Cafundéu to move on and face Ariddia. Having scored six goals and conceded only one over the past two games, Zwangzug had emerged as this Cup’s giant-killers.

And the next giant on their list were World Cup 35 vice-champions Ariddia.

Ariddia’s progress into the semi-final had been a little more bumpy. After a very comfortable 4-0 win over Bostopia, the Rouge-et-Noirs struggled long and heard to overcome Az-cz, doing so finally on penalty kicks, when all Ariddian shooters scored and Ariddian goalie Cassie Lee crucially stopped two of Az-cz’s shots. Many supporters might have been remembering the Rouge-et-Noirs’ wobbly start during qualifiers, but surely the team’s lively, fierce and defiant performance of the ulek –in front of an unflinching Zwangzug side– was enough to shore up supporters’ confidence.

Ariddians also had a lot to feel confident about. Topping the KPB rankings, officially recognised as the world’s best team of the moment, with 54.29 KPB points to 2nd-ranked ESF’s 47.55, they were clear favourites and no doubt feeling on top of the world – literally. But if there is one thing international football teaches you, it is that upsets always happen.

Just ask the Bettians.

Zwangzug’s balanced but extremely unorthodox 3-2-1-2-3 formation was, for example, a connundrum the Rouge-et-Noirs had reportedly worked long and hard on.

“Zwangzug probably have the only team in the world without a goalkeeper per se,” coach Jane Sanderson explained. “You might think that makes them easy to beat, but it doesn’t. Their tactics have served them very well indeed, anfd it’s up to us to outsmart them.”

Ariddian viewers from around the world watched nervously as the match began, the early minutes slipping away without either side snatching an early advantage. The Rouge-et-Noirs appeared to be dominant, but it was still very much anyone’s game.

That is, until Richard James scored in the 19th minute.

The 35 year-old midfielder pumped his fists excitedly into the air, grinning. One-nil. Every goal was absolutely vital, and the Rouge-et-Noirs had just done what they always prefered to do: score first, take the lead, set the pace.

Simon Olson came close to an equaliser nine minutes later, but Cassie Lee was there again to stop the ball and deny him.

In the 35th minute, a skillful pass from Iol Et gave James the opportunity he needed to score his second goal of the match, and the Ariddians now had a definite lead.

The game was far from over, as both sides continued to create close opportunities for themselves, but there were to be no further goals. When the whistle was finally blown, Ariddians on the field, in the stadium and all across the world let their joy burst forth. For the fourth time in history –and the fourth time in five Cups– they were in the final!

The upcoming final

While Ariddians back home cheerfully seized upon this as a new occasion to celebrate and throw wild parties through the night, the players were already looking ahead. Errinundera had beaten the Capitalizts 2-1 after extra time, leading to a final many had been dreaming of.

“Ariddia against Errinundera in the final! I’m so looking forward to it!” one fan said, making himself heard over the noise of celebrations already begin.

Errinundera and Ariddia have met five times since the latters’ return to international football four decades ago. The Rouge-et-Noirs have won three of those games; the Potoroos two. The goal tally lies at twelve to nine in Ariddia’s favour. But much of that is already ancient history: this will be an entirely new match, one in which neither team can rely on past glory.

Should Errinundera win, it would be their second World Cup victory; it would be Ariddia’s third.

“I think what’s really important is that both of our countries are carrying forth, into the World Cup final, a number of fundamental values and principles that we share,” Rouge-et-Noirs captain Myo Thet Myint said. “Ethics, a respect for the environment, a belief that people’s rights to decent living conditions, to human dignity, are more important than the selfish thirst for profits. Vegetarianism, a deep respect for animal rights. And an equally deep-held commitment to communitarianism, communal solidarity, instead of capitalist individualism. The victory of either team will be the victory of all these values. Playing against Errinundera in a World Cup final is going to be fantastic.”

Many people’s eyes are now on Cassie Lee (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Cassie_Lee). The Rouge-et-Noirs’ main goalkeeper, she lives in Errinundera, and has Errinundrian citizenship, an Errinundrian husband and a young Errinundrian daughter. She received part of her football training in Errinundera, at Ellery Camp. For the Potoroos to win this World Cup, they will have to defeat a fellow Errinundrian, and score past a 37 year-old goalkeeper still at the best of her form.

“This will almost certainly be my very last World Cup,” Lee told the press. “And I couldn’t have hoped for a better ending. Playing in the World Cup final, against a country I love just as much as Ariddia. Wow. Whatever happens, it’ll be a match I don’t think I’ll ever forget.”

Jeruselem

23-08-2007, 00:22

Dazza Dallas, Kate Bush and Abrams Tunk

Dazza: Hello, I'm ... you know who I am. This is a special edition of THE FOOTBALL LIFE. I'm with the new coaching team for World Cup 37. Kate Bush is our new coach for Jeruselem and Tunky here is taking over the job of coaching Jeru FC.
Kate: Hi people.
Tunk: Good to be here

Dazza: Firstly, Kate - you have the job with most expection. Having coached Jeru FC and been my assistant for World Cup 33, are you ready?
Kate: Not really, I need really work out what I'm going to change.
Dazza: Has the Jeru FC experience made you a better coach?
Kate: Yes, it's forced me to communicate more. I'll never be as good as you though in that area.

Dazza: So who's the key player for the next cup?
Kate: Key players, your daughter Kate is one and Dinkie Doshie who needs to really step up as a leader. There's more but I don't know what my team will look like until I get it.
Dazza: I am sure Kate and Dinkie will be there Kate.
Kate: I'm not looking forward to people asking for Kate and getting confused there's two in the team.

Dazza: Tunky, the man's man! Taking over the man's team!
Tunk: Yeah, Kate has done a great job but I think the Jeru FC team need to get a man to get them into shape.
Dazza: They are getting better though
Tunk: Yes but I'm aiming high - get Jeru FC into the top 50. Get them some respect.

Dazza: Did you want the Jeruselem coaching job?
Tunk: Yes, but I can wait. Kate Bush deserves the job, she's just needs the support from everyone.
Dazza: I'll make sure that happens.
Tunk: Yeah, but you talk, bribe, hassle, flirt and sleep your way around the place

Dazza: The only way to get things done quickly.
Tunk: With Jeru FC, I'll do things my way ... the man's way.
Dazza: Use the very large bulldozer?
Tunk: Yeah, something like that.

Dazza: OK, I want some predictions! The final is Ariddia vs Errinundera. The 3rd placed playoff is Capitalizt SLANI vs Zwangzug.
Kate: I think Erri will win and Zwangzug will take 3rd spot.
Tunk: Ariddia will win another cup and the SLANI will win because they have bribed everyone.
Dazza: Me, Ariddia will win and the SLANI to win on PKs.

Kate: Why aren't you picking Zwangzug Dazza.
Tunk: Because Zwangzug took Jeruselem's spot in the 2nd round.
Kate: Oh yes.
Dazza: That's it from me! See you all later in the Jeruselem World Cup 36 finals show. Hosted by me, Dinkie Dosha and my daughter Kate Dallas will be at the Ariddian football fans party to cover their antics. Our special guests will be these two here and my sister Debbie Dallas as well as the Crown Prince of Jeruselem. He'll be sitting next to me so he doesn't hit on Kate Bush during the show.

Kate: Sur ton velo as the Bike says.

Alasdair I Frosticus

23-08-2007, 08:03

THE GOLDEN HADDOCK AWARD

With Basil and Theo!

"...join with me tonight in welcoming all of our viewers to the inaugural Golden Haddock award, to be given to the semi-finalist nation which the Holy Empire best believes embodies the essence of of the Imperial philosophy of Frostiness."

"And it's a crowded field this year, Theo, with Ariddia, Errinundera and Zwangzug all being committed to social egalitarianism, and that latter two further embracing just the sort of slightly off-the wall eccentricity that we know and love."

"What about the UCS?"

"Who?"

"The co-hosts"

"Oh. Them. Incidentally, have I ever told you that I'm collecting my belly button fluff to use as a pillow."

"Doesn't it smell?"

"Not if you wash it every time you collect 100 grams or so. It's such a soft and downy surface upon which to rest my weary head."

"That's nice Basil. Anyway, why don't you open the envelope..."

"This one?"

"Yes, that one."

"Why?"

"Because that's how we'll... just give me the damn thing. The winner of the inaugural Golden Haddock is....."

"Ooooooh, this is terribly exciting, Theo."

"...is.... ZWANGZUG! For their commitment to egalitarian principles, their welcome ability to not make much sense about anything in particular in a clever and entertaining manner, and for occasionally embracing a commentary style prone to bizarre non-sequiter digressions that sometimes seems ever so slightly familiar. I'm sure it'll look lovely next to the haddock heads of the Ziggurat of Zwangzug."

"Congratulations, and I'm sure the other nations would feel terribly crushed if they cared even the slightest. Which they probably don't. So tune in next World Cup to find out who wins the Golden Haddock next time around!"

Errinundera

23-08-2007, 12:33

haimaidu's column from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) City News.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/FallsCityNews.gif

HIGH FIVES WITH HAIMAIDU

How do you do? It’s a delirious haimaidu.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/haimaidu.jpg

Capitalizt Campaign Capsized

We’ve reached the final! One hundred and eighteen years after moschatuma led his team to the pinnacle of the beautiful game, we have a real chance of emulating that feat. Our opponents will be Ariddia, our favourite side and nemesis. The Potoroos have never beaten the Rouge et Noirs in a World Cup match or qualifying game although we have had some success in friendlies. But this has been a Cup of firsts for us so, hey, why not another one?

The match against the UCS A-team has been another amazing experience for us. The Sokojito Überdome is reputed to hold 400,552 people. We estimated that UCS fans accounted for somewhat over 400,000 of this total. If other games were too expensive for the average Errinundrian, the teleport entry only Überdome was simply out of the question. Mind you, it’s not the most fan-friendly stadium I’ve seen. Someone at the back of the top deck is about 200 metres from the fence. If you happen to be down one end you can be 300 metres or more from the goal at the other end. Nor is it the most friendly place for a visiting team. 400,000 rabid local fans baying for your blood is not to be forgotten in a hurry.

To make up for their absence, loyal supporters from all over Errinundera pitched in to a public campaign to raise money and send a crepe paper run-through for the team. The run-through itself was inexpensive; the interstellar teleport fee was, well, stellar. Several million bolas were raised and the national Parliament voted to finance the balance.

The run-through was spectacular. On one side it showed a humungous potoroo with giant fangs chomping into a football stadium not unlike the Überdome. The other side had a message that read, “MONEY CAN’T BUY A WORLD CUP”. I guess it was up to us to prove the point.

Although the team had received a fillip with the return of breretond to the attack, x-rays had revealed that aryayre, like himmelfar, had a fractured skull. Both players would be forced to miss the rest of the Cup. If that wasn’t bad enough, the return of breretond proved to be shortlived. In the 22nd minute “The Kid” fell awkwardly in a tangle of legs. He immediately jumped up but as soon as he put weight on his right leg he collapsed again. Refusing a stretcher he hopped from the field with medical staff supporting him on either side. After the game he quipped that he still made the record books in the 23rd minute. That was very brave of him. A tendon in his ankle had been so badly stretched that it came away from the bone, taking a chip with it. He will be out for several months.

The first score of the game came, oddly enough, from agloir, our star midfielder. At the 37th minute she received a pass from froesu and found scerberu and snaporoo running free down the wings. agloir passed to snaporoo but, instead of stopping in the midfield, continued to run goalwards. The desperate SLANI defence ran to the wings leaving space in the centre. snaporoo saw her opportunity before the defenders realised their error and sent a smacking pass to the box. Running at full pelt, agloir arrived in time to deflect the ball past keeper Abúndia Tqaperena into the net.

The home crowd didn’t take too kindly to the half-time score and booed the teams from the ground. You could say the pressure on the SLANI was immense. We knew they would come back at us in the second half. And so they did. Moments after the break Morten Wiedemeyer scored a spectacular header from a corner. Hitching a ride on his captain, who had also leapt for the ball, Wiedemeyer went into orbit. Or so it seemed to me. I reckon his shins were at my eye level and I should know - I was only a metre away.

The crowd errupted, sensing that this was the start of something special for their team. We tightened up, however, and made sure it wasn’t the case. Nevertheless, the fans remained in full voice and the constant roar of 400,000 seeming psychopaths will stay with me as one of the most viscerally awesome events of my life.

If our defence weathered the storm, then theirs did likewise throughout the second half. This is not to say it was dull match. UCS strength and aerial ability pitted itself against Errinundera speed and ground skills. Both sides constantly probed and attacked but always to no avail. At the full time whistle neither side had shown an ascendancy.

This changed, however, in extra time. Although the score was still 1-all at the change of ends, the Potoroos had more of the possession along with three shots on goal to nil. After the change the ball spent almost the entire time in the Errinundrian front half. The thunder from the stands now seemed to have an edge of panic about it. I don’t know how you can sense these changes from the constant, deafening roar, but the feeling was palpable. We grew in confidence and the SLANIs began to make mistakes.

The moment of truth came five minutes from the end. After a defensive error Tqaperena found the ball between himself and the goal with snaporoo racing in to score. He dived and she slid but “The Alligator” was first to the ball by perhaps twenty centimetres. It was enough: Errinundera had made it to the final by eliminating one of the hosts.

If 400,000 people in full voice are awesome, then so are 400,000 in stunned silence. Expecting trouble we didn’t hang around, quickly making our way to the dressing rooms. Things got really weird when the main fuse for the nuclear power station under the ground blew, damaging much of the power grid around the ground. The station is necessary to provide the prodigious amount of power needed for the teleport terminals. The result of the mishap was that there was no way out of the "beam me up, Scotty" stadium. Ladders and cherry pickers were rushed to the ground to help the fans climb out. The two teams, their officials, sundry dignitaries and the richest of the rich citizens were ushered out through a secret underground passageway. Apparently many fans were still trapped inside when power was restored the next day.

It has been pointed out to me today that the Classical Era Errinundera had a reputation as a host killer (Lemmitania in the quarterfinal of WC6, Audioslavia in the second round of WC7). The modern side has added another notch to the stick.

So, in a few days’ time we meet Ariddia in the final. The two nations have strong ties. Young Ariddian footballers often study at the Errinundera Football Academy in Ellery Camp. In fact, their captain, Cassie Lee, is an alumni. What's more, she lives beside the river in sleepy Combienbar. For my part, I have fond memories of our visit to Ariddia in World Cup 34, especially its quiet, serious, friendly, generous people. Playing them in the final is, in a word, an honour.

See you soon. May a second World Cup grace the display cabinet at the National Downfall Stadium.

Haimaidu.

PS. The whole team will be barracking for Zwangzug. A lefty 1-2-3 finish in the righty World Cup would be ace.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Commerce Heights.png
Capitalizt SLANI 1
(Wiedemeyer 46)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 2
(agloir 37, snaporoo ET 25)

Errinundera's WC36 scorers (goals from the Proper in brackets):
14 (6) snaporoo
13 (6) breretond
10 (5) scerberu
8 (1) avilmou
7 immelfar
3 otemki
2 (1) agloir
2 froesu
1 ipieomenicu
1 onito
1 oovaroo

Bazalonia

23-08-2007, 14:13

"Please, I'll answer all your questions at the press conference, thank you..." James Gaines waded his way through the assembled media to get to his office to do the final preperations for a press conference where the word was that he would officially announce the hosts for the upcoming... Baptism of Fire and World Cup.

20 minutes later a press-room was filled to the brim with people with microphones of all shapes and sizes from all around the footballing world.

"Thank you all for coming, I am quite aware of all the rumours going around and I can confirm one of them right now... This press conference will announce the hosting details of both the Baptism of Fire and World Cup number 37.

For the upcoming Baptism of Fire, I can confirm that the Football Federation of Sel Appa, the FFSA, will be responsible for running the Tournament in Sel Appa. The FFSA will have access to a support team from the Archregimancy, the monks who are currently anonymous, will aid in the administration and high level organisation, I have full confidence in the management committee and believe that a successful Baptism of fire is well on the way to being prepared."

James paused as the amassed media scribled notes, there was a general murmer however he couldn't tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing for the Sel Appans... However that was only a minor announcement to the one that was coming up....

"Now, To the hosts for the World Cup 37. It is well known that the only bid for the upcoming World Cup has been made by Adi'han and Novapsolu, and I have awarded the World Cup to them, there are no other bids in the works and with what I have seen I believe that they can hold a successful cup."

The room was in uproar... Adi'han and Novapsolu, two nations that had only competed in one Qualifiers where going to be the hosts for the next World Cup.

"How can you be sure that Adi'han and Novapsolu have the infrastructure for such an event?" a loud voice was heard over the din no one was sure where it came from.

"Adi'han will have alot of help from Liverpool England, it is a protectorate after all, after talking with officials from all of their national football associations then I can see the great working relationship between the 3 organisations."

"Why should these nations get a free pass to the Finals, past the Qualifiers?"

"Hosting a world cup is never easy, for these new nations it will be even greater challenge, I do believe it is only fair... and in regards to the experience they will get playing against the top 30 nations in the world well, to be honest, that is none of my concern. As President of the WCC my duty is to ensure the smooth running all World Cup-related events and Adi'han and Novapsolu have meet all my questions and I am quite confident in their abilities. Thank you... That's all the time I have for questions..."

And with that he left despite many other questions being thrown at him.

Errinundera

23-08-2007, 14:36

Errinundera Football Association

Team selection for the World Cup 36 final

Goalkeeper
onito (c)

Defenders
froesu
haimaidu (dvc)
ikasa

Midfielders
agloir
aptai
henya

Strikers
oovaroo
otemki
scerberu
snaporoo (vc)

Substitutes from
avilmou
evastatio
oyavereig
tevow

Ariddia, if you RP first you have complete liberty with my team except...

If Errinundera wins, no substitutions (injuries or tactical) except, perhaps, oyavereig for onito. The reason will become apparent in my RP.

Cafundeu

23-08-2007, 20:52

...

Third Place Playoff result (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12992348&postcount=32)

Zwangzug

23-08-2007, 22:50

"On behalf of my team and my nation, I am honored to accept this magnificent award..." Andrew didn't pay much attention to Jacob's speech until quite near the end. "...and the Holy Empire itself has been crucial in the development of some of our unique attributes..."

Afraid he'd either break into unrestrained hysteria or vomit if he opened his mouth, Andrew remained frozen in place until the pregame ceremonies were finally done and the game got under way. By the time 정강나 and Roy Hartenholm had scored, however, he was sufficiently jolted to play with more command and force.

Phillip was not long in scoring after that, making it 2-1 at halftime. The second half brought goals from Δημὴτρης Θεοδωράκης and Morten Wiedemeyer, interrupted by Yul's long-range blast. Phillip was first to congratulate him: the forwards' camaraderie was fleeting (Yul's retirement following the match was all but guaranteed) but substantial.

The final minutes wore away impassively, and the SLANI side claimed its victory by a final score of 4-2. Andrew descended into the clubhouse slowly, unsure of why he was dragging his feet. Fourth place was better than they could have dreamed, and his career with Joseon beckoned. Yet...

"Hurts, doesn't it?"

Andrew nodded involuntarily.

"Turn around, why don't you."

Unsure whether Jacob was mocking him or not, Andrew obeyed, looking up the long tunnel that separated the world from their oasis. Beyond them, Zwangzug fans, all of whom had stuck it out through the final minutes, were slowly exiting.

A newly-engaged couple teased each other about whether they had to wave flags in their left hands for the upcoming final. The Composite Minister bore the Golden Haddock. A Regency newswriter, shocked and appalled that he had been laid off from his position writing about fluffy "human-interest" stories about some guys who kicked around some balls and had fun, turned with astonishment to learn that he could still do so-but in the sports section.

"We did that," Jacob beamed, pride evident. "That, we won."

"And a nation's been changed," Andrew whispered, more to himself or nowhere, perhaps, than Jacob.

"What?"

"Changed, uh-We haven't won it all, yet."

"So we still have something to strive for. A reason to stick around."

Andrew nodded. He would be back, but had first to go forward.

Jeruselem

24-08-2007, 00:27

Kate Bush looking at huge pile of documents ...

Kate Bush: What's this Dazza?
Dazza: All you need to manage the Jeruselem World Cup team.
Kate Bush: That's a lot of reading!
Dazza: Eh, you can't read or something?

Kate Bush: I'm not much of reader.
Dazza: You have four years to read this, don't worry.
Kate Bush: Why is there a cheerleading DVD in there?
Dazza: Oh sorry, that's where it went to. (removes DVD)

Kate Bush: The SLANI won as you said.
Dazza: See, Dazza's always right.
Kate Bush: This Jeruselem coaching thing looks like a lot work, different to coaching Jeru FC.
Dazza: It's all yours now Kate. Dazza's has left the building! (smiles)

Kate Bush: Why is part of it in French?
Dazza: Err, well it's the studies of Ariddia.
Kate Bush: I can't read French
Dazza: Well, I'll have to teach you then

Kate Bush: Question, I need something to wear for the World Cup finals show.
Dazza: You need glam up?
Kate Bush: I guess so, I have look good.
Dazza: I'll set you in right direction.

Errinundera

24-08-2007, 15:16

Errinundera weblog

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A vitual tour of Errinundera on the eve of the Cup final

In a very short time the World Cup 36 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_36) fate of the Potoroos (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad) will be determined on a ground far away in the Unified Capitalizt States (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Unified_Capitalizt_States). So come with me, my friend, as I tour Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) to see how the multitudes of this fair nation are preparing for the final.

Let us begin in the putative capital – always a sore point among Errinundrians – First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls), in the heart of the nation. Upfalls City (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls#Upper_City:_The_Water_Quarter) has been built on a series of interconnecting canals. Here people travel by gondola, canoe or rowing boat. The buildings are monumental but tatty. Close inspection shows that most, if not all, have been damaged in the frequent political demonstrations (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Corporate_Torching) that beset the city. The place to be for viewing the final is, of course, Red Mark’s Square on the eastern side of the Grand Canal. At kick-off nearly a million fans will be on hand.

The final begins at the unseemly hour of 6am; still over 8 hours away yet the Square is already full with fans who want the best possible vantage point. A truly enormous screen, the width of a standard football pitch, is floating on pontoons in the canal. By 6 am half the fans in the Square will be too far away to see and too far gone to care.

Fan comment (suberellen, zoologist): It’s been 116 years since Errinundera last played in a World Cup final. This is as rare as an eclipse of the sun. I am so privileged to have lived at this time.

If we now descend to Downfalls City (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls#Lower_City:_Downfalls) a whole new world awaits us. Home of the team’s deputy vice-captain, haimaidu, this is the greatest tree city of the nation. Tens upon tens of millions live in the vast forest, their houses (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Housetrees) swaying in the crowns of gigantic eucalypts (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Shining_Gum). Public screens have been suspended from the trees so that everyone has the opportunity to join in the communal screenings. People here are more relaxed about finding a place so the aerial walkways and branches around the screens aren’t, as yet, packed out. Just the same, everywhere you go there is a buzz in the air. Nobody can sleep. Even though it is late winter the people are chatting in the trees and on the skywalks, undeterred by the evening chill and descending mist.

Fan comment (awthoroo, sports commentator): I’ve been comparing the World Cup 7 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_7_Final_Day_in_Errinundera) side with the current team and I don’t think we have as many superstars now. There isn’t an antarcticad (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Antarcticad) or longipesp (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Longipesp) or moschatuma (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Moschatuma) in the modern line-up. But time may yet prove me wrong.

For a complete change of scenery let us now travel to Deddick (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Deddick), the megalopolis in the north of the country. Right now this Francophile city is perhaps the second most schizoid place in all of NationStates. (See below for most schizoid.) With many Ariddian (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddia) expatriates and even more sympathisers among the Deddiquois almost everyone is torn between the two teams. I am sure that, five seconds into the game, they will know precisely where their allegiances lie. But opposing supporters will get along fine. These two great left-wing, vegetarian nations have so much in common.

The reserve goalkeeper, oyavereig, and young striker, otemki, are natives of Deddick.

The Ariddian ambassador to Errinundera, the ageless Audrey Melei (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Audrey_Melei), keeps an apartment in Deddick and spends much of her time here. It has become a tradition that she attend the Town Hall screening of the final of each Cup. It has also become a tradition that celebrations after the final whistle do considerable damage to the hall. With the Potoroos and the Rouge et Noirs (url]http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddia#Current_team[/url]) both playing it is feared the Town Hall will be completely demolished.

Fan comment (Audrey Melei, ambassador): Je m’appelle Audrey Melee. Comment allez-vous?

And now we shall head further west to McKillops Bridge (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/McKillops_Bridge), the historical jewel of the nation. The great marble stepped bridge descends from the cliff-tops on one side of the river to the riverbank on the other. One screen has been erected on the lower bank and another on the central platform. 60,000 people can sit comfortably on the steps to view the game. When we approach the top of the stairs we are politely told by an usher that all spots have already been taken, however there several screens and plenty of room in the gardens of the former royal palace (now a museum).

McKillops Bridge is home to two of the great powers of the Errinundera Football Association (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_Football_Association), the Kingfishers (local team of the national coach, withare (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Withare), and national captain, onito) and the Milosis White Guard (local team of the young defender, ikasa).

Fan comment (shushendi, major events usher): This is even bigger than the first qualifying match of the Cup. I expect every person in the city will miss their sleep tonight.

From McKillops Bridge we cross the Rodger wilderness to the Monkeytop village of Big Tree Camp (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Big_Tree_Camp), home of the nation’s most sacred tree (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sacred_Tree), ITEN. Behold, the tree is festooned in white, brown, green, red and black. Great banners hang from its branches with portraits of stars from both teams. Pavillions have been erected around the tree to provide the poison of your choice, as well as hearty, vegetarian food. A festive atmosphere pervades the forest as people mingle and chat.

Many will be heading up to the Amphitheatre (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_Amphitheatre) shortly to get the best possible seat. Yes, another screen has been erected for the final. The locals know that people will arriving during the night from villages all along the ridge. Those who prefer to view the game in more intimate surroundings can sit in the skywalks near their trees where smaller screens have been suspended. All eyes will be on local star agloir who has had a wonderful cup in the midfield.

Fan comment (ormandi, librarian): I reckon agloir will be best on ground tomorrow. She is a goddess. I also reckon she will win the award for Errinundera’s best player in the Cup. haimaidu is pretty good too but agloir is better.

Next stop is Murrindal (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Murrindal) in the far central west of the country. As midnight approaches, crowds are gathering in the city square on the western bank of the Murrindal River. Cafes surrounding the square are doing a roaring trade. The most popular is the Ariddian inspired Santé! (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sant%C3%A9%21) where copious quantities of Café au lait and Errinundera’s national dish, Sorrel Soup, are being served. In the middle of the city square is the grand, old sacred tree, LAT. The river here is broad and straight with wide expanses of grass. It is well lit and clumps of people are visible as far as the eye can see. Screens have been erected on moored boats in the river as yet another huge crowd is anticipated in the morning.

Fan comment (feebeen, Santé! co-operative member): I just hope we have enough sorrel leaves to get us through to the morning. We ordered 250 kg but it’s going like nobody’s business.

Finally we shall cross to the opposite side of Errinundera, to the sleepy town of Combienbar (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Combienbar), the home of Ariddia’s (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddia) captain and champion goalkeeper, Cassie Lee (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Cassie_Lee). There are no huge crowds here, the populace preferring to watch the game with family and friends in small gatherings on the skywalks. Everybody knows and loves “The Princess” who was recently elected unopposed as Mayor of the town. If the Deddiquois are in two minds about whom to support in the final then pity the poor Combiennes. They must be at wit’s end.

Fan comment (comboveroo, barber): My greatest nightmare is a final that goes to a penalty shoot-out and scerberu is lining up against Cassie Lee for the deciding goal. Oh! Oh! Oh! Why these terrible choices? Where there is choice there is misery. But all the same, BEST WISHES TO ARIDDIA.”

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpghttp://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/weblog.jpg

Ariddia

24-08-2007, 18:55

Giant screens throughout the country

The streets of Ariddia’s cities, towns and villages are streaming with Ariddian and Errinundrian flags, flapping gently in the warm breeze around passers-by. An undercurrent of excitement and expectation can be felt in the air. Walk through the parks in the city of Espérence (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Esp%C3%A9rence), and you may see people setting up giant screens. It’s the same throughout the country. Everyone is getting ready.

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/198/esperanceparkgo8.jpg
This city park in Espérence will soon be crowded with people watching the World Cup

“I suppose some people will stay at home and watch with their family,” Serge Julien, who is working on setting up one of the giant screens, said. “But most people will want to be outdoors, ready to celebrate with their local community if we win.” Hence the outdoor screens.

http://img159.imageshack.us/img159/3656/footballscreenaj2.jpg
Cafés in Ariddia’s bustling cities are a favourite place to watch the final

From Rêvane, in the heart of Ocea, Ariddia’s largest island, to the far-flung island of Wueliw, home to the city of Wavecrest, Ariddians will have the opportunity to congregate in a festive atmosphere and watch the Rouge-et-Noirs take on the Potoroos.

Even the National Library of Ariddia (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/National_Library_of_Ariddia) is being turned into a giant screen –by far the biggest in the country– onto which live images of the match will be projected.

http://img47.imageshack.us/img47/1600/bnair7.jpg
The National Library in Rêvane will become a giant screen; viewers will gather in the park that faces it

teljesan, an Errinudrian studying at the Third World Open University (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Third_World_Open_University) in Cité-Belle (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Cit%C3%A9-Belle), will be watching in one of the campus’ parks. “I’ll be surrounded by hundreds of Ariddians,” he says, “but I’m not intimidated. The atmosphere will be great. Go, Potoroos!”

For Ariddians living abroad, PINA (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/PINA)’s pre-existing large screen on the outside walls of Ariddian embassies will be showing the game live. In the Ariddian Arctic Islands (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddian_Arctic_Islands)’ capital Ata’eatu, a local community centre is inviting people to come and watch the match on a large screen; it is too cold for people to stand around outdoors. On the opposite side of the planet, the few scientists at Eshaw Station in Ariddian Antarctica (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddian_Antarctica) will all be stopping work to follow the game.

“We can catch up on our work tomorrow,” climatologist Sandrine Fabien says. “Our team playing in the World Cup final is a priority! If they win, we’re going to have our own little party.”

http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/343/pdsraresearchstation3sl.jpg
The scientists at Eshaw Station in Ariddian Antarctica are planning to celebrate

And if the Rouge-et-Noirs lose?

“Lose?” Fabien echoes. “Don’t be silly. We don’t even want to think about that.”

New Manhattan

24-08-2007, 20:31

World Cup 36 final result (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12995308&postcount=33)

World Cup 36 Awards
The winners of these awards were selected by a panel of Cafundelense, Capitalizt, and Kura-Pellandi journalists. The awards were presented at the conclusion of the World Cup 36 final.

C4 Fair Play Award: The Archregimancy

Churrascaria Boizão’s Golden Drawing Board (best coach): whithare (Errinundera)

C-Electronics’s Golden Mini-Ball (best youngster): breretond (forward, Errinundera)

—————

World Cup 36 Best XXIII
(first XI in italics)

Goalkeepers: Cassie Lee (Ariddia), onito (Errinundera), Abúndia Tqaperena (Capitalizt SLANI)
Defenders: Carlos Cueto (Schiavonia), haimadu (Errinundera), Myo Thet Myint (Ariddia), Bartholomew Hanson (Zwangzug), Mathias Nickel (Elves Security Forces), 왕고소 (ʼWaŋ Go-so) (Capitalizt SLANI)
Midfielders: Laborious Hawk (Elves Security Forces), Richard James (Ariddia), Pizelkaxrovsky (Az-cz), scerberu (Errinundera), Eddie Barnes (Zwangzug), Rick Cuellar (Elves Security Forces), Παντελῆς Χρουσαλά (Pantelīs Khroysalá) (Capitalizt SLANI), Kenny Sanderson III (Schiavonia)
Forwards: breretond (Errinundera), Roy Hartenholm (Capitalizt SLANI), snaporoo (Errinundera), Iol Et (Ariddia), Heitor (Cafundéu), Simon Ryne Olson (Zwangzug)

—————

Olivia Bream Award presented by Aeropag Tribune Media (best goalkeeper): Cassie Lee (Ariddia)

Ke Sho Award presented by Econômico Bank of Cafundéu (best defender): Myo Thet Myint (Ariddia)

Claire Briscoe Award presented by United Petrol of Sel Appa (best midfielder): Richard James (Ariddia)

TakilQuip Golden Boot (best forward): Roy Hartenholm (Capitalizt SLANI)

—————

Globo Multimedia’s Bronze Ball (third-best player): Myo Thet Myint (defender/captain, Ariddia)

Globo Multimedia’s Silver Ball (second-best player): Roy Hartenholm (forward/captain, Capitalizt SLANI)

Globo Multimedia’s Golden Ball (best player): Cassie Lee (goalkeeper, Ariddia)

Cafundeu

24-08-2007, 20:31

...

Result of the Final (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12995308&postcount=33)

Errinundera

25-08-2007, 07:05

haimaidu's column from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) City News.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/FallsCityNews.gif

HIGH FIVES WITH HAIMAIDU

How do you do? It’s a fatalistic haimaidu.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/haimaidu.jpg

Ariddia Irresistible

When the Cafundéu referee blew his whistle to end World Cup 36 the Errinundrian players gathered in the centre of the ground, formed a huddle and wept together. Losing a final is not like losing any other match. It’s the pits. Like having your Sacred Tree vandalised. Or your pet sniffer wombat die from facial tumours.

The Ariddian players came across to console us, but realising that we were in a different place altogether left us to our grief. In truth, we appreciated the gesture.

withare made us stay on the ground to watch the Rouge et Noir’s victory celebrations. They were quite brief. Like Errinundera very few Ariddian fans had been able to afford the space flight and ticket prices so there wasn’t much point in staying out there in front of over 400,000 mainly disappointed Unified Capitalizt States fans. They weren’t terribly pleased that two left-wing nations had dominated their Cup.

Mind you, we had stirred the possum prior to the game. After the Ariddians had finished their ulek the two teams linked arms – Ariddian alternating with Errinundrian – and belted out L'Internationale (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk9wqNXH6AY).

Debout, les damnés de la terre
Debout, les forçats de la faim
La raison tonne en son cratère
C'est l'éruption de la fin
Du passé faisons table rase
Foules, esclaves, debout, debout
Le monde va changer de base
Nous ne sommes rien, soyons tout
|: C'est la lutte finale
Groupons-nous, et demain
L'Internationale
Sera le genre humain :|

Il n'est pas de sauveurs suprêmes
Ni Dieu, ni César, ni tribun
Producteurs, sauvons-nous nous-mêmes
Décrétons le salut commun
Pour que le voleur rende gorge
Pour tirer l'esprit du cachot
Soufflons nous-mêmes notre forge
Battons le fer quand il est chaud
|: C'est la lutte finale
Groupons-nous, et demain
L'Internationale
Sera le genre humain :|

L'état comprime et la loi triche
L'impôt saigne le malheureux
Nul devoir ne s'impose au riche
Le droit du pauvre est un mot creux
C'est assez, languir en tutelle
L'égalité veut d'autres lois
Pas de droits sans devoirs dit-elle
Egaux, pas de devoirs sans droits
|: C'est la lutte finale
Groupons-nous, et demain
L'Internationale
Sera le genre humain :|

Hideux dans leur apothéose
Les rois de la mine et du rail
Ont-ils jamais fait autre chose
Que dévaliser le travail
Dans les coffres-forts de la bande
Ce qu'il a créé s'est fondu
En décrétant qu'on le lui rende
Le peuple ne veut que son dû.
|: C'est la lutte finale
Groupons-nous, et demain
L'Internationale
Sera le genre humain :|

Les rois nous saoulaient de fumées
Paix entre nous, guerre aux tyrans
Appliquons la grève aux armées
Crosse en l'air, et rompons les rangs
S'ils s'obstinent, ces cannibales
A faire de nous des héros
Ils sauront bientôt que nos balles
Sont pour nos propres généraux
|: C'est la lutte finale
Groupons-nous, et demain
L'Internationale
Sera le genre humain :|

Ouvriers, paysans, nous sommes
Le grand parti des travailleurs
La terre n'appartient qu'aux hommes
L'oisif ira loger ailleurs
Combien, de nos chairs se repaissent
Mais si les corbeaux, les vautours
Un de ces matins disparaissent
Le soleil brillera toujours.
|: C'est la lutte finale
Groupons-nous, et demain
L'Internationale
Sera le genre humain :|

I don’t think the crowd was terribly impressed but it sure inspired the two teams. The match was fast, skilful and exhilarating.

And exhausting.

For the 3rd time in 4 games our match went into extra time but to say that fitness or injuries worked against us would be to rob Ariddia of the credit they deserve. They have greater depth than Errinundera. After the two teams had completed their substitutions late in the game the Ariddians assumed control.

The potoroos had started well. snaporoo scored an easy goal in the 19th minute when she, scerberu and otemki entered the box together with only Cassie Lee to stop them. In contrast oovaroo’s goal in the 51st was a example of pure skill as she curled a shot into the top left corner of the net.

The scoreline remained at 2-nil until the 80th minute. We were pretty confident at this stage of the game but you’ve got to give credit to the Rouge et Noirs for one of the great comebacks in the history of football. The Ariddian coach substituted their entire attack and thereby transformed the match. The return was immediate with two goals in the last ten minutes, forcing the game into extra time.

Our substitutes were not having the same impact. The Rouge et Noirs completely dominated the 30 extra minutes even though we defended as if our lives were at stake. I can state with pride that we played well and I can’t pinpoint any serious mistakes in play or errors of judgement. It’s just that our adversaries were relentless and irresistible. Twice our defensive wall was breached and so it was that we learned how the Squornshelous and Capitalizt SLANI players felt after losing in extra time.

Full credit to Ariddia. They have now won three of the last five World Cups and, frankly, are so far ahead of anyone else it’s hard to imagine anyone stopping them next time.

Anyway, that was yesterday. Today our amazing achievement has fully dawned upon us – we have truly now become a football superpower. I probably won’t have the good fortune to play in another World Cup final but I am proud to have been part of such a wonderful team.

Our fans have been equally wonderful. Within moments of the game ending we had received thousands of emails commiserating with us on our loss and congratulating us on our achievements. Today the number has exceeded 50 million. I hear that Mayors all over the nation declared yesterday and today holidays to celebrate our performance. By all accounts the partying was pretty intense. It will take another week to recover.

The campaign has ended now and tonight we will do some partying of our own – the first time in many months. There’s some pretty cute footballers in town and I intend to behave outrageously and irresponsibly. We return home tomorrow and I imagine some of the team will be looking a little worse for wear when we touch down. To tell the truth I looking forward to going home to the forest.

See you soon. May there be vigorous growth in your bush and mine.

Haimaidu.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 2
(snaporoo 19, oovaroo 51)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Ariddia.png
Ariddia 4
(81, 88, 12ET & 26ET)

Errinundera's WC36 scorers (goals from the Proper in brackets):
15 (7) snaporoo
13 (6) breretond
10 (5) scerberu
8 (1) avilmou
7 immelfar
3 otemki
2 (1)agloir
2 froesu
2 (1) oovaroo
1 ipieomenicu
1 onito

Jeruselem

25-08-2007, 08:11

Kate Dallas in front of lots of drunk Ariddians in Jeruselem

Kate Dallas:
Hello! It's Katey girl on the spot at the Ariddian Club here. Being quarter-Ariddian, me and my fellow Ariddians are celebrating the third cup for the Rouge et Noir. Yes, as you can see there are couple kissing, people dancing and people acting general idiots which has something to do with copious amounts of alchohol being consumed. Hey, let's speak of these people!

...

Kate Dallas: Hello! How are you feeling right now.
Man: You're a pretty Ariddian girl! I feel like ... it's the best day in the world.
Kate Dallas: I'm Kate Dallas.
Man: Dazza's little girl! Well, what a fantastic day. (Kisses Kate)

Kate Dallas: Well, that sums up day. Ariddian win and Frenchie love for the world! Hey, let's talk to this woman.
Woman: Am I on TV?
Kate Dallas: Yes, billions watching you right now.
Woman: I'd like to say hello to my family in Ariddia and say Jeruselem is great place for Ariddians to visit.

Kate Dallas: Well, I might be in charge of Jeruselem in future.
Woman: Oh yes, you're going be the Princess! The people's princess.
Kate Dallas: Watch out! One day I'm going to be Queen Katherine Alexandra Dallas
Woman: Another great day for Ariddia that will be, just like today.

Kate Dallas: Hello you two. Enjoying the win I see
Couple: Yes! We're getting married soon
Kate Dallas: Congratuations. Wear the Ariddian colours with pride!
Couple: Good luck with your wedding later.

Kate Dallas: As you can see, the colours of Ariddia are flying high here.

<Someone pours a bottle of wine on Kate's head, everyone cheers>

Kate Dallas: And Kate Dallas is now officially drunk.

Alasdair I Frosticus

25-08-2007, 09:00

The Holy Empire Football Association hereby offers tribute to Arridia's victory over their socialist brothers in Errinundera by singing the Internationale in a proper revolutionary language (PS: don't tell anyone in the Archregimancy - militant socialist anthems get them a little worked up over there):

Вставай, проклятьем заклеймённый,
Весь мир голодных и рабов!
Кипит наш разум возмущённый
И в смертный бой вести готов.
Весь мир насилья мы разрушим
До основанья, а затем
Мы наш, мы новый мир построим, —
Кто был ничем, тот станет всем.

Это есть наш последний
И решительный бой.
С Интернационалом
Воспрянет род людской!

Никто не даст нам избавленья:
Ни бог, ни царь и ни герой.
Добьёмся мы освобожденья
Своею собственной рукой.
Чтоб свергнуть гнёт рукой умелой,
Отвоевать своё добро, —
Вздувайте горн и куйте смело,
Пока железо горячо!

Это есть наш последний
И решительный бой.
С Интернационалом
Воспрянет род людской!

Лишь мы, работники всемирной
Великой армии труда,
Владеть землёй имеем право,
Но паразиты — никогда!
И если гром великий грянет
Над сворой псов и палачей, —
Для нас всё так же солнце станет
Сиять огнём своих лучей.

Это есть наш последний
И решительный бой.
С Интернационалом
Воспрянет род людской!

Congrats to Ariddia!

(again)

Ariddia

25-08-2007, 15:44

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/errinundera.png Errinundera 2-1 Ariddia (2-4 AET) http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

Ariddia wins World Cup

Few people in Ariddia will have got much sleep last night. Celebrations continued well into the early hours. For the third time in five competitions, the Rouge-et-Noirs are World Champions, looking better than they ever have throughout their long history.

There may have been doubts when Ariddia was struggling through the qualifiers, but those have now been forgotten, and new coach Jane Sanderson has done far more than prove her worth. She will be staying on to coach the team into World Cup 37.

Nobody is thinking that far ahead, though. Memories are still on the final.

“When we all linked arms with the Potoroos and sang the Internationale in French was one of the finest moments in any World Cup final match,” Ariddian captain Myo Thet Myint said. “Although performing the ulek in the final was great, too.”

There were virtually no Ariddians or Errinundrians present in the stadium, due to prohibitive costs. But back home in Rêvane, a large Ariddian crowd watching the game on the huge oustide wall of the National Library (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/National_Library_of_Ariddia) spotaneously joined in the singing of the Internationale, with loud and cheerful enthusiasm. It had set the atmosphere for the rest of the game.

Ariddian cheeriness was decreased somewhat when the Potoroos took a fairly early lead through snaporoo. When the first half ended with the Rouge-et-Noirs down by nil goal to one, there was palpable concern. To reach a World Cup final and then lose is a huge disappointment, one which Ariddians experienced four years ago.

Although supporters were worried, the match was intense and fast-paced, and a example par excellence of fair play, with virtually no foul committed by either side. Players were quick to help opponents back to their feet when there was a fall, and to exchange smiles despite their obvious competitiveness.

The Rouge-et-Noirs were clearly not in the least discouraged as they began the second half, but again the Potoroos scored almost immediately, with an excellent goal from ovaroo. Less than forty minutes to go, and Ariddia were beginning to feel the pressure.

By the eightieth minute, you could not have blamed supporters for thinking it was all over. The Rouge-et-Noirs had played well, but the Potoroos had demonstrated again and again why they deserved to be in the final, seizing the initiative and displaying a superb defence. Fresh players were brought in on the Ariddian side, as Sanderson refused to concede defeat. There were still ten minutes to play, and play them the Ariddians would.

The change came about quickly. Richard James weaved his way skillfully through the previously indomitable Errinundrian defence, and passed the ball to Elmi Hamzah Guirreh, who slipped it past onito. Finally, in the 81st minute, the Rouge-et-Noirs had scored. The effect on supporters back home was electric. Equalising no longer seemed impossible. There was hope to cling on to, with renewed energy, as the final minutes tumbled away. From then on, it was a different match.

A pass from James (again) to Sylvain Bernard, and from Bernard to Ewa Shwuo brought about the goal an entire nation had been desperately waiting for: it was an explosion of joyful relief as Shwuo’s ball slammed into the back of onito’s net in the eighty-eighth minute. It was a draw; there would have to be extra time, and both teams were back on an equal footing.

“Damn it, I’ve rarely felt so tense,” one supporter in a café in Cité-Belle said with a nervous laugh. “There have been 90 minutes completed, and still anything could happen!”

But if both teams had seemed fairly evenly matched until then, the Rouge-et-Noirs appeared to dominate in extra time. Perhaps the sudden equaliser had boosted their energy and sapped some of the Potoroos’ – although the latters’ continuing, determined defence showed they still had strong fighting spirit and skill. In the 102nd minute Richard James finally gave his country the lead. Not content with merely a one goal gap, however, the Ariddians continued to attack relentlessly, until in the 114th minute Elmi Guirreh scored the sixth and final goal of the match, enabling the Rouge-et-Noirs to take the World Cup.

It was over, and supporters could celebrate at last.

Their joy was dampened only by the sight of the Potoroos crying over their disheartening defeat, after having put so much effort into this entire Cup. The Rouge-et-Noirs made some attempt to comfort them, before tactfully moving away. Soon after, however, reports were coming in of partying in Errinundera.

“The Potoroos were amazing,” Cassie Lee said later. “They made us struggle hard for the Cup. They’re one of the best teams in the world today, and I know they’ll be the Champions one day soon.”

Ariddians honoured by awards

Cassie Lee, Myo Thet Myint and Richard James have been named by Cafundelense, Capitalizt, and Kura-Pellandi journalists as among the world’s ideal starting eleven. Iol Et is among the world’s best twenty-three. All four players declared they were “extremely honoured” by the awards.

In addition, Cassie Lee received the Olivia Bream Award for best goalkeeper (presented by Aeropag Tribune Media), and the Globo Multimedia’s Golden Ball for best player. A blushing Lee smiled as she received the awards, expressed her thanks, and said she was “very touched”. “I’d also like to say I’m grateful to a great many people who have done so much to help me get where I am today. My parents, my husband and my wonderful daughter elenalee, our coach Jane, all my fellow Rouge-et-Noirs, the great people at Ellery Camp and in Errinundera in general, the Ariddian Football Association for spotting me in the first place all those years ago, all my friends, and… well, more people than I could possibly name. This is your victory too.”

Myo Thet Myint, the Ariddian captain, received the Ke Sho Award for best defender (presented by Econômico Bank of Cafundéu), and the Globo Multimedia’s Bronze Ball.

“It’s a particular honour to receive an award named after Ke (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ke_Sho),” he said. “And me, an Ariddian, receiving an award from a major bank…” He laughed. “I suppose that’s the wonder of the World Cup, the whole world coming together despite our differences.”

Richard James also expressed his gratitude after receiving the Claire Briscoe Award (presented by United Petrol of Sel Appa) for best midfielder.

“Claire Briscoe, like Olivia Bream and Ke Sho, is one of the very best players the world has ever known,” he said. “She can inspire us all, and I feel honoured to receive the award bearing her name.”

“I think the football association of the Holy Empire has summed it up perfectly – even though the Internationale is a French song,” AFA President Evgheny Melenciuc said. “С Интернационалом, Воспрянет род людской! I want to thank and congratulate the hosts for an excellent World Cup. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to celebrate too. See you all in two years, for the next qualifiers!”

NationStates Jolt Archive

World Cup 36 RP thread - Page 3