NationStates Jolt Archive

A Priori

In the basement of a house in a rural area of northwest Bedistan, about 90 miles north of Woodruff...

"So, we've reached the big dance once again."

"Yes, for the twenty-seventh time."

"The twenty-seventh and final time, apparently, thanks to those bastards at the BFA."

"Yep. Which means there's only one thing to do."

"What's that?"

"Send our boys and girls out in style. Bedistan's final World Cup campaign will be one that nobody will ever forget. It's time for...Operation Athletic Cup!"

"Operation Athletic Cup?"

"Yeah. You know, we are playing Casari in the group stage. Remember how that nutjob Hill told her players to kick ours in the balls before our match back in 29?"

"You are a strange person."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I slept with your sister Wednesday night."

"Right, I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that. You have the tickets to Geisenfried?"

"Right here. Thankfully I have a couple friends at PariSouth Airlines - apparently Bedistani interest in the World Cup isn't as low as the media keeps saying it is."

"Good. Let's go."

"The flight isn't until Monday."

"Monday? I swear, you really are useless. Fine then, let's wait a couple days and then go. I hope you know I'm not reimbursing you now."

"Cheap bastard..."

THE FINALE - Bedistan in World Cup 32
<01> A Priori

[ooc - whoops, wrong nation. This is an AIF RP, not an Archregimancy RP]

HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

IMPERIALS DRAWN AGAINST ARIDDIA
Biohazard Suits Taken Out of Storage

By Anna Comneno

The Holy Empire Football Association reacted cautiously today to the news that the Imperial Squad were to face fellow old-timers Ariddia in the World Cup finals. "We have the greatest respect for Ariddia" said a senior HEFA official "and any match between our two nations is a cause for celebration amongst all Ariddian and Imperial football fans. Our teams share a history of footballing fanaticism dating back to the very first World Cups. But we cannot forget the plague."

Frosty football fans will be hard pressed to forget the last match between the two historic World Cup hosts. In a pre-World Cup 25 friendly, the Imperial squad destroyed the Ariddians 6-2 [ooc is that right?] before the entire squad - and tens of thousands of Imperial citizens - succumbed to the Ariddian plague. This outbreak of illness was not caused by conditions in Ariddia, but rather by the Imperials' lack of exposure to ordinary reality diseases after the Holy Empire's long isolation from ordinary reality. The plague led to a long period where the Holy Empire was only represented in World Cups by cripples, criminals, dream simulacra, and porn stars as the nations' footballers sought to recover from the plague. It is noticeable that Ariddia has been rather more successful in the interim.

The Imperial squad are said to be practicing for the match against Ariddia in biohazard suits, despite a statement from leading Imperial medical authorities that there is no longer any threat from exposure to the WC1 hosts.

HEFA couldn't be bothered to release a comment on the other group matches against Krytenia and Northern Caesarea since, quite frankly, no one in Alasdairopolis really cares about either of those two matches.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

NATION REACTS TO WORLD CUP DRAW WITH INDIFFERENCE
Pilgrimage considered more important than football

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

Monastic Football Association officials today joined the entire nation in reacting to the World Cup draw with total and utter indifference. Contacted for an opinion on a first round group featuring Oliverry, Commerce Heights and Vilita. MFA officials merely stressed that the will of the Lord be done, and that if facing the latter three nations was what He desired, then so be it.

The same officials then promptly left the interview room to join the rest of the nation in search of the Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites, currently believed to be located somewhere in the Archregimancy

"Pfffftt!"

A few dozen pairs of eyes looked up in astonishment as the big screen which took pride of place in the Pie and Pixie was unceremoniously sprayed with a lukewarm mixture of tea and an old man's spittle.

"Oi George! Do you mind? I took a shower just a few hours ago... and it didn't include bits of half-chewed scone!" Ali scowled.

"I'm sorry mate, it's just... well, this draw. Have you seen who we've got in the group stages?" George replied, flicking the tiny pieces of cake off his newspaper.

"The World Cup draw? Nope. Come on then, spill. Who have we got?"

"Starblaydia..."

"Ooh shite. That ain't good."

"Understatement of the year. We've only beaten them, like, once, ever."

"Right. And?"

"Fmjphoenix..."

"Ooh shite. That ain't good neither."

"Another understatement. The last time we played them in the World Cup, they dicked us 6-2, home and away!"

"Oh dear. Right, and who's the third."

"Cafundeu."

"Ooh shi... hang on a minute. Cafundeu? Who are they?"

"They're the team who everyone thought were no-hopers who ended up easily qualifying ahead of Spaam and ASMV. Those guys are on a roll - talk about having the bit between yer teeth."

"Ah... so is that worth an 'ooh shite' then?"

"Yeah, go for it mate."

"Ooh shite!"

"It's not ALL bad though." George said as he began rummaging around in his coat pocket and pulling out a non-descript brown envelope. "You'll never guess what I won off that Sonastra TV dealy."

"Won? You? But you never win anything?" Ali replied, scrunching up his already wrinkled forehead for good measure. "So what is then?"

"A shedload of tickets for all our games! Enough for me, my two boys... and you, me old mucker!"

"Me? You mean?"

"Yup! Better pack yer cases, cos two grumpy old Bettians are coming to Milchama!"

Az-cz Scroll
Milchama
Il-Lur

World Cup Draw announced; Gnomes get screwed twice

The world cup draw has now been officially announced and the hosts have put the Gnomes in arguably the toughest group of the tournament. This was enabled by the fact that for some inexplicable reason the hosts decided to ignore all of the qualifiers leading up to the finals and rank simply on pre-cup rankings. They didn't even wait for rankings to be produced following the qualifiers, as such the Gnomes were put onto the fourth line, and everyone in their group suffers as a result.

As the Gnomes were drawn into group A, that seems like a good place to begin. The four teams there are the hosts Milchama, Rejistania, Bazalonia and us. Looking at last cups performances, all four were qualifiers, three advanced to the knockouts, where Bazalonia lost a heartbreaking match 13-12 on PKs and Milchama won to advance to the quarterfinals. The only who failed to qualify was Rejistania, a four time champion. Looking at precup rankings Bazalonia was the third best three seed and Az-cz was the second best four seed. And looking at qualifying results things get really crazy. All three teams who competed finished at least second in their group. The four seed, us posted the second best record overall, and Rejistania finished tied with Errinundera, ahead of defending Champions Squornshelous. So clearly this group is stacked. In terms of deserving teams falling short of the knockouts this group will take the cake. Unfortunately, we think that will probably work to our disadvantage.

Another hosting error, namely Milchama cancelling our friendly, works to our disadvantage and they'll probably be able to take advantage of home field to beat us. Rejistania we played twice last qualifiers and while we did draw them once it's hard to say if we've advanced to the point of passing them. Bazalonia is a great friend of ours, and a team we know quite well having played them in friendlies and of course having their former coach. This group is incredibly balanced with four good teams, but we'll guess that it's the hosts and Bazalonia who advance from the group. Although we do think it would be appropriate on some level for the hosts to suffer from not taking qualifying results into account, we don't expect it to happen.

1. Milchama
2. Bazalonia
3. Rejistania
4. Az-cz

Now onto group B which contains the defending champions Squornshelous, Liverpool England, Quakmybush, and Wentland. Wentland is clearly out of their league here and will be struggling to earn any points against the powers. Despite earning a ton of points in qualifying, Liverpool England only earned a point against us and our possibly slipping from their lofty heights. We also expect Squornshelous to be unfocused and think Quakmybush will vault to the top of the group.

1. Quakmybush
2. Squornshelous
3. Liverpool England
4. Wentland

Unfortunately because group B is also fairly strong those two groups will prevent a number of good teams from advancing.

While Groups A & B are strong group C is a joke. The top two seeds should absolutely roll over the competition. The teams are Krytenia, Ariddia, Northern Caesarea and Alasdair I Frosticus. Both Northern Caesarea and Alasdair I Frosticus are amongst the teams with the worst four qualifying records. Krytenia looked excellent in qualifying fighting to the top of their group easily, well ahead of Commerce Heights and Ariddia also won their group. Nothing interesting happening here.

1. Krytenia
2. Ariddia
3. Alasdair I Frosticus
4. Northern Caesarea

The last group in Milchama is the only group with two non-qualifiers from last cup. Starblaydia headlines the group with the attacking Bettians there as well. Joining them are Fmjphoenix and Cafundeu. Starblaydia ought to be focused after being eliminated in the quarterfinals last cup. Bettia won their group, but then were just pipped by the eventual champions in the last sixteen. There's no overwhelming reason to think that either of those teams will be knocked off. Cafundeu will battle hard in their matches and prove they belong, possibly even moving past the Fmjphoenicians.

1. Starblaydia
2. Bettia
3. Cafundeu
4. Fmjphoenix

Now over to the Geisenfried groups.

Group E contains the other hosts, Geisenfried, Schiavonia, Spruitland, and Cuation. Somehow the hosts here managed to give themselves a group where NONE of the teams made the knockouts last cup. This is a group with two teams rated as three seeds and one as a four in the pre-draw analysis. In other words the hosts find themselves in a weak group, perhaps historically so. That might be enough for them to qualify. We'll guess that Schiavonia finally stabilizes a bit and that Geisenfried slips in behind them with Spruitland in third and Cuation in fourth.

1. Schiavonia
2. Geisenfried
3. Spruitland
4. Cuation

Group F is another of the tougher groups with Archregimancy the key to the groups difficult, as they deserved to be a two easily and could easily knock out a higher rated side, just as they did last cup. Oliverry recieved no favors for being the best performing side in all of the cup ending up here, as did Commerce Heights. Although Commerce Heights fell off in their final matches, they still proclaimed this as the golden age of Commerce Heights football, so they clearly feel confident about this team. Even Vilita will be dangerous from the four seed. In another group they might join Az-cz and Errinundera as four seeds with qualifying hopes, but in this group I don't think they'll get it done, but they could easily spoil one of the other teams hopes. I think Oliverry will be fuming with their group after they tumble to elimination here.

1. Commerce Heights
2. The Archregimancy
3. Oliverry
4. Vilita

Group G is another group that seems to be skewered towards the top. New Montreal States was a finalist last cup and looks to be back for more, even if they did struggle just a bit in qualifying. Jeruselem is an ever dangerous side that looks to maintain their status as a regular knockout participant. The Lowland Clans advanced last time, but many believe that was a result of home field and Nedalia is back in the cup after missing out of the cup in Vilita & The Lowland Clans. However Nedalia doesn't seem to be back in form, and The Lowland Clans probably can't make it back to the knockouts either. Expect this group to play to form.

1. New Montreal States
2. Jeruselem
3. Lowland Clans
4. Nedalia

And finally group H with two powers on top, a rising power on the bottom and a falling team who has almost no business in the cup. Respectively those are Bedistan, Casari, Errinundera and Qutar. Figuring out Qutar's fate looks easy. They looked not good in qualifying, getting repeatedly thumped by us and Liverpool England and shedding far too many points against mostly unispiring challengers. Expect the other teams to throttle them three times on the trot. As for the other three look for motivated Bedistan and Casari teams to prevent another run from Errinundera. Bedistan, playing in what they claim will be their last cup, will surely be going all out and our the group favorites here. Casari, after their suprise early elimination last cup will want to regroup and advance and will give Errinundera more than they can handle.

1. Bedistan
2. Casari
3. Errinundera
4. Islands of Qutar

That leaves these second round matchups:

Milchama v Squornshelous
Krytenia v Bettia
Quakmybush v Bazalonia
Starblaydia v Ariddia
Schiavonia v The Archregimancy
New Montreal States v Casari
Commerce Heights v Geisenfried
Bedistan v Jeruselem

Milchama will use their home field advantage to send Squornshelous packing early in their title defense. Krytenia will prove too much for Bettia in an exciting attacking battle. The Bazalonians will put their experience from the last cup to good use and put Quakmybush away quickly. And Starblaydia will move to the quarterfinals once again. In Geisenfried, The Archregimancy will prove just how much of a joke group E is by thrashing Schiavonia. Casari will end the run of the other finalists New Montreal States. Commerce Heights will also put group E to shame by crushing Geisenfried in front of their own fans and Bedistan will move one step closer to a title in their final cup. That would mean that three groups (A, F and H) would send both teams through to the quarterfinals. Also Krytenia would be the only semifinalist from last cup to make the quarterfinals this time around.

The quarterfinals matches would then be:

Milchama v Krytenia
Bazalonia v Starblaydia
The Archregimancy v Casari
Commerce Heights v Bedistan

Here Krytenia pushes themselves back to the semifinals with a win over the remaining hosts from Milchama. In the battle of Az-cz coach home nations Bazalonia will pull a huge shocker against Starblaydia advancing to their first semifinals. Casari will eliminate the last non-AO team and Bedistan will beat Commerce Heights to keep their dream alive.

The semifinals would then have:

Krytenia v Bazalonia
Casari v Bedistan

The Bazalonian populace will be ecstatic as they suprise their way to the finals. Bedistan and Casari will provide a football match for the ages but the Bedistanis will come out on top and advance to a final for an incredible eighth time.

3rd Place Playoff:

Krytenia v Casari

Too very worthy competitors, but I belive that Krytenia is better at playing without external motivation and will beat Casari for third place.

Finals:

Bazalonia v Bedistan

Bazalonia's incredible cinderella run to the finals will come to a crushing end in the battle of Atlanitan Oceania B-Boys. With the biggest prize that close in front of them the Bedistani's will cruise to victory, and set up world cup 33 as a wide open race, without a defending champion.

"Anything to declare, sir?"

"Oh, no, nothing really."

"Well, sir, that looks to be a suspiciously long package."

"Oh, I'm just lucky, I guess."

"Very droll, sir. Where have we just come from?"

"The Archr...er, Geisenfried."

"Geisenfried, eh?"

"Yes."

"Where they're hosting the World Cup, sir?"

"Er, yes."

"What were we doing there, sir? Looking for tickets?"

"Er..."

"Because your case looks like it has some funny looking crosses, sir."

"Oh yes, those are, er, old baggage labels and stickers."

"Very Orthodox looking, sir."

"Yes, I was on a pilgrimage some time ago. Looking for, er, a head."

"Exactly like the crosses they have in the Archregimancy, sir."

"Ahah, yes."

"And we've come from Geisenfried, have we?"

"Er, yes."

"Alright, sir. What's the capital?"

"Er...the letter G?"

"Most amusing, sir. Now, I don't know if you've heard, sir, but the monks in the Archregimancy are looking for something."

"Ahaha. Are they?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ah. Well, there you go. Can I leave now?"

"Do you know what they're looking for, sir?"

"Er...the truth?"

"No, sir. Well, sir, you may be partly right, but this is a specific something they seek, sir, not an abstract concept that may vary from one's perception. No, they seek an object."

"Really? Oh good."

"They seek something that might be shaped a little like your package, sir."

"Ah. Oh yes."

"They are seeking the Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites. Not aware he had a lesser column, sir, but apparently it's somewhere in the Archregimancy."

"Ah. Well, good luck to them."

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, sir, would you?"

"Er..."

"Shall we have a look inside your package, sir?"

"No! No, no, no."

"What's that noise, sir?"

"What noise?"

"That ethereal chanting, sir. It seems to be coming from your case."

"Er, it must be a novelty alarm clock I bought in the- er, Geisenfried."

"Sounds a bit like an Orthodox chant, sir."

"Ah, yes, well, that's Geisenfried."

"No Orthodox in Geisenfried, sir."

"Oh, dammit. Look, I admit it. I nicked the Lesser Column and was going to hold it to ransom. Have you any idea how difficult it is to get bloody tickets? They've sold the Wentland allocation. Never seen demand like it. I was trying to get some from the Archregimancy cos they don't have travelling support. And they wouldn't sell. So I stole their precious bloody pillar and was going to exchange."

"I don't believe you, sir. You couldn't smuggle a piece of grease-proof paper, sir. Be off with you. And let's hear nothing more of it, sir. Blimey, it'll be on ebay next."

THE MONASTIC TIMES

WRONG COLUMN FOUND ON EBAY
MFA Offers Ticket Deal

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

In a most curious turn of events, the Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites the Younger has been found offered for sale on Ebay by a Wentland supporter said to be "looking for a ticketing miracle".

The enthusiastic Swifts supporter seems to have made a minor mistake in that the column currently being sought by Archregimancy citizens as part of the Great Pilgrimage is in fact the Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites the Elder. The Holy Synod later released an image of the Elder Stylites' column in order to prove it was still safe:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/43/Column_of_St_Simeon_The_Stylite.jpg

Despite the obvious and hilarity-inducing (for Orthodox monks, anyway) error, the Monastic Football Association are nonetheless said to be impressed at the Wentlander's Holy Relic-hunting ability and are said to have offered the young man a set of tickets to all Archregimancy matches, an official Relic-finding position in the office of the Archregimand, and the hope of eternal salvation provided he converts to Orthodoxy.

The Holy Synod has also politely asked for the Younger Stylites' column back.

Bullshit?

Curran International Airport, Woodruff, Bedistan

One of the two as-yet-unidentified men from the previous episode retrieves his mobile phone from the pocket as he boards the people-mover. With his concourse (Concourse G) approximately 1.3 miles away, the moving sidewalk, which moves at a constant speed of 10 miles per hour, was certainly more efficient than walking for him.

He dials the number 13-12-882-5840, a Graceville phone number.

"You at the airport?"

"Yeah. Boarding's at 11:06, departure 11:36. You got the stuff ready?"

"I told you, this stuff takes time. Do you know how hard it is to get four hundred tons of ex...creted bull products?"

"That's just gross, dude. Look, we've gotta be ready in time for the final. That means you've got about six or seven weeks. Get on it."

And with that, he hung up the phone.

"So what'd he say?"

"As usual, the ass doesn't have anything yet. I swear he'll be the death of me."

"What about our stuff?"

"Well, obviously, we couldn't bring it on the plane ourselves. Getting arrested would kinda throw a bit of a monkey wrench into the plan. Don't worry, though, it'll be coming. They have orders to send it into Bischoff six days from today."

"Bischoff? Why the hell would we send it to Bischoff? We don't have any matches there."

"Precisely. If there's no reason for a Bedistani to be in Bischoff, then they're not going to expect any Bedistanis in Bischoff, now are they?"

"This is why I keep you around."

The people-mover finally reached the exit for Concourse G, and the two men proceeded to make their way to the gate.

THE FINALE - Bedistan in World Cup 32
<01> A Priori (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12205880&postcount=501)
<02> Bullshit?

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Star-Moon-Domestic-International-News-Today

Sports Section

Second generic predictions RP

There is a reason why things become stock. They're nice to write, easy to write and fun to do. Therefore we the Chi Sun- Times- Tribune- Star- Moon- Domestic- International- News- Today give you the predictions from each team. Yeh! Woo hoo! Waa! I want my Mommy! Shut up you! ok. The group looks easily advancable for the Warriors as the first seed rankings wise and with home field advantage giving us such a boost it should be easy. Coach Jamie Smith said, "Win one for the gipper!" We think he's becoming senile.

On that note anybody who wants to audition to be the Milchama Coach after this cup please contact the MFA in Alexandria (OOC: TG/IRC me) before the BoF for WC 33.

Group A:
Milchama- That's us. Somehow we're ranked number 12 in the world and loving every moment of it. We're even ranked ahead of Rejistania! This is going to be a fun World Cup! I can't wait. Go Warriors!
Rejistania- The formerly defensive powerhouse recently switched styles and has become offensive. However, they have not had great success since World Cup 24/25 and we could knock them off here or maybe just steal a point. 1 point
Bazalonia- The Bazalopes are in improving in the top 20. That does not mean though we cannot beat them. Because we will beat them, bad, like a bongo of DOOM!!! 3 points.
Az-Cz- Despite being ranked 28th they had the best record in qualifying so we should be afraid, very afraid, very very afraid. Well not really we're the hosts and we beat them in a friendly. So why should we be worried? I have no idea. Therefore another 3 points.

That's 7 points easily enough for the Warriors to crash out to Commerce Heights in the second round. 3-2 for those of you counting at home.

I say its a long way to Koningsfert but who cares the Warriors are ready and rearing to go. Whatever rearing means.

Next post: The Great American Novel.

"Steve!!! STEVE!!!!! Let me in!!! I've got it!!!"

"What? No way!!"

"Way!!!"

Steve let Joe in and examined the huge package. "What's that?"

"Oh, only our ticket to the World Cup!!!"

Steve and Joe unwrapped it. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"The Lesser Column of St Symeon Stylites?"

"Yep."

"So maybe you can explain this?"

Steve clicked onto the wbcnews.com website. One of the headlines was about the re-discovery of the Lesser Column of St Symeon Stylites.

"Eh? But I've got it!!!"

"Look at the bottom paragraph."

The Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites the Elder was the subject of a Holy Pilgrimage for monks of the Archregimancy and the Holy Synod has released certain images that purport to show the Column.

In an intriguing twist to the story the Lesser Column of St Symeon Stylites the Younger was reported missing. It is believed that it has been removed by a souvenir hunter, possibly having been mistaken for the Elder's Lesser Column, or by a drunken Wentlander on a stag do.
"Oh bogroll...you mean I've lugged this thing back for no reason? It cost me three hundred guineas in excess baggage."

"Looks like it."

"And all those funny looks from those monks."

"Yep.

"So what do we do with this thing now?"

"What's this 'we' business?"

"You said we could ransom it for tickets..."

"I said we could ransom the Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites the Elder. Not the Younger."

"Well, how should I know the difference?"

"It's bloody obvious to anyone who can read Cyrillic."

"Well, I can't bloody read Cyrillic."

"So why did you say you would nick it?"

"I'm just desperate for a ticket. So what do we do with it now?"

"I dunno. You nicked it. You deal with it. Ebay it or something."

"Hmm..."

"Joe? Why are you in that ridiculous get-up?"

"I'm not Joe. I am Brother Iosephos the Miraculous Relic-Finder."

"Are you in fancy dress or something?"

"No, I have been invited by the Arjmerency to watch their matches. Who-hoo!! I've got tickets!!!!"

"But not Wentland tickets, though?"

"No, but I am no longer a Wentlander. I am now an Archemency supporter."

"Er, you do know what you're doing?"

"Yeah, I'm desperate for World Cup tickets. I've gotta get there somehow."

"And you think becoming a monk is the way forward?"

"It'll do for the time being."

"So what brought this on?"

"Well, I got an email from Brother Grigory the Machine Watcher, suggesting that I might like to exchange a small pillar for some tickets. All I had to do was become a monk."

"All? It's a sacred calling, surely?"

"And what could be more sacred than the World Cup? It's got me tickets!!! Yayyy!!! Go Monks!!!"

"You do realize what this entails? No women or anything."

"Brother Stephanos, I've not had any success with women since that shady lady from Schiavonia. And I could always go apostate later."

"And how about supporting the Swifts? Surely you can't do that?"

"Hey, if I'm there, I'm there. Whoo!!!! I'm off to the World Cup!!! Come on you Archiemandies!!! Communion wine for all!!! Up the Gospels!!!"

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section: WORLD CUP PREVIEW!

Clans Record Excellent Qualifying; Draw Tough Group

LONDON - At FA Headquarters and at the training pitch kust a few blocks away, things were abuzz as the draw for the World Cup. The team had a pre-launch party with the staff, and the alcohol and other assorted beverages were flowing freely. They had plenty to celebrate as well. With a renewed hope for qualifing after the brilliant performance last cup, the Galaxy were eager to duplicate it and even better it. They certainly did not let down. The Galaxy dominated the group, and despite finish behind Oliverry, the Galaxy threatened the Frenchmen and certainly made both games look as if the upset might occur. The Galaxy allowed only EIGHT goals all qualifying, tied for first with Quakmybush of all teams. But this excellent performance means nothing if the galaxy can't back it up with a knockout performance in the Group Stage.

Chairman of the FFLC Daniel Davies declared that this group draw was no tougher than the one faced at home last cup. "Bazalonia and Schiavonia were both tougher plays I think then Jeruselem and Montreal. Nedalia is in a run of bad form, and I think we can take advantage of it." When asked about travelling to Geisenfried, all he had to say was, "At least we didn't get drawn in Milchama, that probably would've guaranteed a poorer performance. But were here, so that's good." After the draw, the reaction was mixed. Most fans were cautiously optomistic, while two domestic managers predicted surefire advancement and the media predicting a little doom and gloom. But the mood of the team is hopeful.

"We've made it this far, and our keeper and defence will not let us down. We have the talent, now all we need to do is put it to good use," said manager Casey Dellet.

GROUP G - Predicted Finish
1. New Montreal States
2. The Lowland Clans
------------------------------
3. Jeruselem
4. Nedalia

...and the rest!

Group A is a tough one to read. All fairly equal teams, and we know the home pitch advantage can be quite large, especially for a nation as lively as Milchama, especially about it's football. Az-Cz roared through qualifying somewhat unexpectedly, finishing above Liverpool England who some see as on the downturn, and Rejistania is always a threat. Bazalonia is always going to be a tough match, and can probably take the Group. Really, this one is up in the air, and it all comes down to who is going to put the right display on at the right time.

GROUP A - Predicted Finish
1. Bazalonia
2. Milchama
------------------------------
3. Az-Cz
4.

Group B is a little easier. Despite the wonderful qualifying play, Quakmybush won't be able to replicate it when face with both Liverpool England, despite the downturn one of the best squads in the World, and defending World Cup champions Squornshelous. Wentland, well, there misery at least extends till the real thing this time around, and the title for New Hypocria loses another contender.

GROUP B - Predicted Finish
1. Squornshelous
2. Liverpool England
------------------------------
3. Quakmybush
4. Wentland

Group C is als easier to predict, but be wary of an upset by the Holy Empire. Ariddia and Krytenia will take this group real easy barring a serious slip up by either, but they will each have to watch themselves when playing Alaisdair. However, Northern Caesarea will crash and burn in this group. They are one of those teams who always seems to make it into the cup, makes every scratch their heads why, and then shrug as they get pummeled in the group stage. This occasion, no different.

GROUP C - Predicted Finish
1. Ariddia
2. Krytenia
------------------------------
3. Alaisdiar I Frosticus
4. Northern Caesarea

Group D is perhaps one candidate short of the Group of Death. Starblaydia, Bettia, and Fmjpheonix are all top flight teams, though in the case of the Pheonix, were, but still possess the guile and talent to force their way into the knockout phases. Cafundeu, however brilliant their qualifying performance, run quite literally into a wall of skill and high ranking. They might steal a point, but they are going home.

GROUP D - Predicted Finish
1. Starblaydia
2. Bettia
------------------------------
3. Fmjpheonix
4. Cafundeu

Now we come to the first Group in Geisenfried, Group E. This one is probably the weakest of all groups in the Cup, but by no means will it be the easiest. Because all of the temas are so closely related in talent, it will be tough for one team to rise to the top. Home advantage should be enough for Geisenfried to go through, but as for the other squads? Well, your guess is as good as mine.

GROUP E - Predicted Finish
1. Geisendfried
2. Shiavonia
------------------------------
3. Cuation
4. Spruitland

Group F, candidate for Group of Death, and no candidates short. When your lowest ranking nation is Vilita, who once controlled two nations in the top ten, you know you're in for a good fight. If you're watching the Beautiful Game for the first time, this would be were to watch it. The Monks, the dirty Frenchmen, the Capitalists and the Jungle Kitties (just kidding) will give you some of the most competitive and wonderful football to watch in the whole Cup. This group, while may not give you the winner, will give you one of the best teams in the whole tournament.

GROUP F - Predicted Finish
1. Commerce Heights
2. The Archregimancy
------------------------------
3. Vilita
4. Oliverry

Now we come to the end, Group H. Another tough group, nearly as tough as Group F, with world terrors Bedistan and throwbacks Errinundera, angry drunks Casari and the Qutari Islanders will give you especially good football. Why isn't THIS the group of death you ask? Well, quite simple: Bedistan will walk away with the Group, and the last place will be scraps for the team that manages to play the best. Who will it be? We're betting Casari. They're overdue.

GROUP G - Predicted Finish
1. Bedistan
2. Casari
------------------------------
3. Errinundera
4. The Islands of Qutar

Cuation Left With Chance

Cuation have not looked as strong as last year by anyone's imagination, the defence has leaked and we have seen nothing approaching the upsets of the last group stage or the 6-0 thrashings we gave a few teams back then. The player’s best hopes have been to draw teams weaker then themselves as any team above us would have high hopes.

Even with what many have called a weak group, Cuation fans may have to prepare for another first round exit, drawn with the hosts, Schiavonia and Spruitland, Cuation face an uphill battle to better last time. We got four points and came within a whisker of qualifying, which would be a success this time, qualification a near miracle.

We open up with a game against the hosts, Geisenfried at the Wilhelm Romm Memorial Stadium. Expect to see the stadium packed, at least at the away end, while the winger Lukas Hoff will be right at home. Geisenfried sit at 34th in the world so Cuation will no doubt start with 5-3-2 for the only time of the World Cup proper.

Cuation's striker Rual will want to show that he deserves to keep his place while this correspondent thinks Captain Samuel Wolfe may be playing in his last tournament for his country. Both sides will need the win to give them a chance of qualifying as they then prepare to face the big boys, the hosts playing an attacking game that may just be vulnerable to Cuation counter attacks. It should be a fantastic match.

Cuation then goes to the smaller Mueller Football Stadium to face old friends who have gone far since we last clashed. Schiavonia are tactically flexible as you expect from the 14th best team in the world, they finished second in their group. If Cuation grabs a point against this team, it will have done excellently but Cuation have not been giant killers this time round so a loss is likely.

Neumann City Stadium will be host to Cuation's last group game against Spruitland. Not much is known about their team other then they finished second of their group and are six places above us in the world rankings. This could be an all important match for second place in the group or so unimportant that few will turn up to watch.

Our prediction here at the Guzzler Monthly would be Cuation puts up a fight; the team will need Jude to withstand the doubts and the pressure. The final standings will be this:

1) Schiavonia
2) Spruitland
3) Cuation
4) Geisenfried

B Listed

Squornshelous finds themselves in a potentially challenging situation for the beginning of their title defense. Drawn into Group B, the Pschychoes will have to face Liverpool England, who have been somewhat of a stumbling block of late for the Pschychoes. In addition, ther is the promising young team from Quakmybush, and old foes Wentland. It's really quite a tough group, and we won't hazard any guesses about the outcome. However, here's our look at the rest of this Cup's groups. LE will be eager to redeem themselves after a lousy run last cup, and Wentland and Squornshelous have a bit of a history, once playing three times all in one World Cup year.

Group A:
Rejistania are a fixture in the cup, but they've been a little iffy of late. We'll call our first upset special here, and predict Milchama to top the group, while Az-Cz squeaks by on goal differential.

Prediction:
Milchama
Az-Cz
Rejistania
Bazalonia

Group C:
Old school world cup action in this group, with Arridia and Alasdair I Frosticus, the cup's first two hosts going at it. if Northern Ceasarea were a better team, they could take advantage of the distraction and upstage the number two team, but they're a bit too much outclassed here.

Prediction:
Krytenia
Ariddia
Northern Caesarea
Alasdair I Frosticus

Group D:
Starblaydia are eager to reach the semifinals again after missing out last cup, and we don't see anything to trip them up just yet. Perpetually mediocre Bettia will have a tough job fighting off Fmjphoenix for the second spot, and Cafendu should be tickled just to be here.

Prediction:
Starblaydia
Fmjphoenix
Bettia
Cafundeu

Group E:
Geisenfried will need to use every bit of their homefield advantage in a very evenly matched group. Schiavonia should make it through fairly easily, but it's a three way cage-fight for second. Actually, it's a series of football matches, but it would certainly be more entertaining to have a 33 man tag-team fight. Anyway, we see the Wabbits pulling one over on our hosts, who'll finish tied with Cuation.

Prediction:
Schiavonia
Spruitland
Geisenfried
Cuation

Group F:
Oliverry have got a taste of semifinals now and are surely itching for another shot at it. Commerce Heights should be able to fend off those funny guys in hoods, but there's always the possiblity of Vilita making a resurgence.

Prediction:
Oliverry
Vilita
Commerce Heights
The Archregimancy

Group G:
New Montreal States, so close and yet so far. They've figured out that they didn't want it bad enough last time, and have learned their lesson. They'll dominate this group, and Jeruselem and their scantily clad reporters will follow them through, extending The Lowland Clans' streak of frustration. Nedalia? They're rebuilding, look for the Lions to make a run for the cup sometime around WC36.

Prediction:
New Montreal States
Jeruselem
The Lowland Clans
Nedalia

Group H:
Bedistan's last cup? They'll come out swingin for sure. The rest of the group is another even match for second, but we think Errinundera can continue the strong play they showed in qualifying, defeating both Rejistania and your reigning champions. Casari, after winning the 29th Cup, will shock everyone, by exiting here and now, and what's more, they'll be last in the group.

Prediction:
Bedistan
Errinundera
The Islands of Qutar
Casari

David sighed and looked around. It seemed so promising when he took over four years ago. Everyone was hopeful about the future, fans were all over committing petty crimes... it was truly a Golden Age for domestic soccer.

Well, maybe a Silver age. Copper at the least.

Now, they couldn't fill a plane to Geisenfried to save their lives. Gold Star Airways quit offering discount flights when the planes didn't fill enough to turn a profit, and the ticket allotments were going mostly unclaimed.

There had to be some kind of solution to this problem, David thought. We need to stay relevant somehow. And then, all at once, it came to David and smashed him in the face like a bottle thrown by a drunk.

Beer.

It took three days to hammer out the deal with the drunks at Emeri. But like all other classic Drinking-related schemes, it promised to blow everyone away with the scale.

The commercials were cheap, let brutally effective. Promises of a free sixer for every game Casari wins managed to get a bit of buzz going around the offices. Although the government had it's reservations about massive booze giveaways, the "voice of reason" eventually won out.

So, as the people at the Casaran Hockey Federation wondered what they could do to fight back against the promise of alcohol, the citizens eagerly waited to hear the result of the match.

Not that anyone would watch, of course. No one made an effort to score in soccer anymore. Without some kind of flamboyant character to keep everyone's interest focused, why pay attention at all?

After all, Soccer is boring.

Konigseifert Chronicle
Nation Prepares to Host World Cup XXXII
Konigseifert to host final in just a few short weeks

The qualifying, though not fiasco-free, is over with, and now the 30 selected participants plus the two co-hosts will now fight for the most coveted trophy of the sports world... the World Cup. People from nations around the globe continue to pass into Geisenfried and Milchama looking to watch with their own eyes the best of what is often called the most beautiful game. The best footballers of all the world now will test their mettle in pursuit of the glory given by winning the title.

The Geisenfried national team is no exception. While entertaining a few friendly challenges throughout the qualifying, the major tests now come as the World Cup proper goes underway. Given an automatic top spot in Group E, they now have to face Schiavonia, Spruitland and Cuation if they hope to take the title in front of thousands of screaming fans right in the capital of Konigseifert. While Group E has no real dominant team, it is unexpectedly tough in that all of the teams lay near each other in the ranks, giving no one an easy win and no one definitely in or out. After a catfight, we expect home-field advantage to keep Geisenfried in for the Round of 16, while second seed Schiavonia prevents upsets from Spruitland and Cuation.

Group E:
Geisenfried
Schiavonia
Cuation
Spruitland

As for the rest of the cup, we expect it to finish out like this.

Group A:
Milchama
Rejistania
Az-Cz
Bazalonia

Our co-hosts in Milchama use homefield advantage and a high rank to take control of Group A, while oldtimers Rejistania manage to hold off the overachievers in Az-Cz, while Bazalonia ends up high and dry in this tough group.

Group B:
Squornshelous
Quakmybush
Wentland
Liverpool England

The defending champs wake up to take Group B, while Quakmybush and Wentland manage to catch upsets off of struggling Liverpool England. However, Quakmybush edges the ever unlucky Wentland to get into the Round of 16.

Group C:
Ariddia
Krytenia
Alasdair I Frosticus
Northern Caesarea

The founders prove themselves the most dominant in Group C over 2 seed Krytenia. Alasdair I Frosticus, one of the big surprises of the World Cup so far, manages to avoid the cellar against Northern Caesarea, which struggled to gain qualification over the surprise Fort Europe. They fail to knock off the high seeded Krytenia from getting into the next round.

Group D:
Starblaydia
Bettia
Fmjphoenix
Cafundeu

Starblaydia takes the cake and the Group here, while offensive powerhouse Bettia keeps Fmjphoenix out. Cafundeu tries, but inexperience catches up with them against this powerful group.

Group F:
The Archregimancy
Oliverry
Commerce Heights
Vilita

In another tough group, the monks of the Archregimancy manage to come on top against the Oliverrians, while Commerce Heights and Vilita make a valiant effort but come up short.

Group G:
Jeruselem
The Lowland Clans
New Montreal States
Nedalia

Jeruselem manages to get ahead in the group here, while the Lowland Clans tries to shed its underachieving reputation by surprising New Montreal States. Nedalia however, can't manage to get through the other teams and lands in the cellar.

Group H:
Bedistan
Casari
Errinundera
The Islands of Qutar

Bedistan enters its final World Cup with a mission, and takes it out on its group mates. Casari manages to dodge the bullet against Errinundera, who can't advance, but knocks down the underachieving Islands of Qutar.

As for the finals:

Milchama over Quakmybush
Ariddia over Bettia
Rejistania over Squornshelous
Starblaydia over Krytenia
Geisenfried over Oliverry
Casari over Jeruselem
The Archregimancy over Schiavonia
Bedistan over The Lowland Clans

Quakmybush can't get past by co-host Milchama while the founders in Ariddia bring a halt to Bettia. Rejistania manages an upset by surprising the defending champs and current one rank, while Starblaydia knocks off their rivals Krytenia. Home field advantage and hard play gets us an upset against Oliverry, while Casari knocks off Jeruselem. The Archregimancy manages to take out Schiavonia while determined Bedistan plows through the Lowland Clans.

Ariddia over Milchama
Starblaydia over Rejistania
Casari over Geisenfried
Bedistan over The Archregimancy

The buck stops at the Quarterfinals for both co-hosts as they run into tough matchups. Starblaydia edges out Rejistania to get into the semifinals, while Bedistan continues their run by ending the Archregimancy's.

Ariddia over Starblaydia
Bedistan over Casari

Ariddia finally manages to get into the finals of the competition they created by taking down Starblaydia, while Bedistan gets a win in their rematch with Casari to get to go for the championship.

Bedistan over Ariddia
Casari over Starblaydia

Bedistan ends their World Cup careers the way they want to with a victory over the World Cup founders in Ariddia, while Casari manages to take 3rd place from the Starblaydians.

As for the upcoming game for Geisenfried, we think that in this matchup of closely ranked teams, the fact that our national team is playing on their own soil gives Geisenfried enough inspiration to grab the win against Cuation in a close match.

Geisenfried: 2
Cuation: 0

We'll also go ahead and bring you predictions for the two games to occur right here in the capital. In the match up of Oliverry against Vilita, while Vilita will likely give a strong fight, the Oliverrians have enough strength to pull this one through in another close one at Crown Stadium.

Oliverry: 2
Vilita: 1

Meanwhile at Konigseifert Athletic Arena, Bedistan will likely show the determination that we think will get them the World Cup by dominating the Errinunderan team, which won't be able to keep up with the stronger and more determined team.

Bedistan: 3
Errinundera: 0

The Daily Quak
World Cup Proper Preview

The Quakmybush National Soccer Team qualified for the World Cup Proper with ease, the team went 13-1-2 with 46 goals scored and a tournament low 8 conceded. The Sharks are hoping to advance out of the group stage for the first time in the nations history. Here are the group previews.

Group A
Milchama
Rejistania
Bazalonia
Az-Cz

Now, Quakmybush have friendly ties with all these nations, so we hope it will be close, but it will be Az-Cz and Bazalonia making it out of this group.

We will skip Group B until the end.

Group C
Krytenia
Ariddia
Northern Caesarea
Alasdair I Frosticus

A meeting of two old nations will occur in this group, other than that, nothing special will happen, Krytenia and Ariddia will advance with ease.

Group D
Starblaydia
Bettia
Fmjphoenix
Cafundeu

Some feel good stories here, Cafundeu made their first World Cup (sounds familiar doesn't it), and Fmjphoenix who wasn't even close to qualifying last time around makes it in, however the stories will end here, Starblaydia and Bettia will move on.

Group E
Geisenfried
Schiavonia
Spruitland
Cuation

What could be the most boring group, we think that Spruitland and Schiavonia will advance.

Group F
Oliverry
Commerce Heights
The Archregimancy
Vilita

We think this will be the group of death, with four extremely good nations, including three that have at least cracked the semi finals of the world cup. The Archregimancy and Commerce Heights will advance.

Group G
New Montreal States
Jeruselem
The Lowland Clans
Nedalia

This group will be extremely tight as well, New Montreal States will continue to stumble and The Lowland Clans and Jeruselem will pounce.

Group H
Bedistan
Casari
The Islands of Qutar
Errinundera

Three nations with finals potential and one that barely scraped by, Bedistan will go out with and bang and Casari will be right behind them (metaphorically of course)

Group B
Squornshelous
Liverpool England
Quakmybush
Wentland

Finally, our group we think that the goo qualifying run will help us and we will advance behind defending champions Squornshelous.

Ro16 Matches

Bazalonia vs Quakmybush
Krytenia vs Bettia
Sqournshelous vs Az-Cz
Starblaydia vs Ariddia
Spruitland vs Commerce Heights
The Lowland Clans vs Casari
Schiavonia vs The Archregimancy
Jeruselem vs Bedistan

The Sharks will knock off the Bazalopes in a close one, while Krytenia will handle Bettia, Az-Cz will shock Sqournshelous, Starblaydia will push Ariddia aside, Spruitland will defeat Commerce Heights, Casari will out last The Lowland Clans, The Archregimancy will have little to no trouble with Schiavonia, and Bedistan will continue their farewell tour.

Quarter Finals
Quakmybush vs Krytenia
Az-Cz vs Starblaydia
Spruitland vs Casari
The Archregimancy vs Bedistan

Krytenia will end the Sharks run, while Az-Cz will continue upsetting top seeds, Spruitland will defeat Casari, and in what will be one of the best matches in history, Bedistan will beat The Archregimancy.

Semifinals
Krytenia vs Az-Cz
Spruitland vs Bedistan

The Gnomes will finally lose to Krytenia, while Spruitland will lose to Bedistan.

3PPO

Az-Cz vs Spruitland

Spruitland will defeat Az-Cz in a close one.

World Cup 32 Final

Bedistan vs Krytenia

As a wonderful going away gift, Bedistan will win another World Cup.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

SEERS AND SAGES PREDICT BEDISTAN MATCH-UP
Fr. Iosephus the Miraculous Relic-Finder Finds Column

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

With most of the nation still distracted by the Great Pilgrimage, it falls to this writer to report that seer and sages from most nations - with the notable exception of the poor wretches from Squornshelous - are predicting the Archregimancy to do well in the forthcoming World Cup Finals. Many of these seers and sages believe that the Archregimancy's World Cup campaign will come to an end against perennial powerhouses Bedistan, competing in their last World Cup.

Reached for a comment while searching for the Icon-defending Letters of St. John of Damascus, team coach Fr. David the Water-Drinker acted with fatalistic acceptance to the news, noting simply that he would "do my best to accept God's will".

In sharp contrast to the last World Cup, where the Archregimancy faced another difficult group draw, the Monastic Football Association has reacted with the same fatalistic acceptance, allowing it to be known that the MFA only hopes that through their humble example, the team will demonstrate the inherent beauty of Orthodoxy.

In related news, new Archregimancy citizen Fr. Iosephus the Miraculous Relic-Finder has found the hidden location of the Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites the Younger, unexpectedly found in Geisenfried with a Wentland baggage sticker attached to the column. Fr. Iosephus claims unaware of how the column came to be in Geisenfried, but has happily accepted the offer of a job in the Archregimand's Office for Holy Relics, and will also attend Archregimancy World Cup matches in the hope of locating further Holy Relics in the unlikely location of Geisenfried.

World Cup MD01 RP Cutoff

Milchama Group MD01 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12214596&postcount=24)
Geisenfried Group MD01 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12214635&postcount=25)

"George,Mildred!" James Gaines exclaimed seeing people that he knew a long time ago while he was still a young person of about 21, in the Bazalonian Security and Inteligence Service(BSIS), The BSIS is Bazalonia's external intelligence gathering agency. George and Mildred where both on his team a long time ago.

Of course he was only a youngster learning the trade at the time.

"Uh, can you untie me?" he asked..

"Haha, A bit out of practice are you. Back in your day you would be able to deal with this knot no problem." said George as he untied the knot. However while he was doing so James managed to use the chair and pin George to the ground with it.

Mildred laughed "okay, that's enough boys." she said before continueing "Sorry, about the kidnap James but we need you to do something for us. Your clearance and such have been re-instated. We have reason to believe that someone is going to use the World Cup to launch an attack on Bazalonia. Attempting to start a war between Milchama and Bazalonia. Your job is to help us to prevent the attack from occuring."

"Why me?" asked James brushing himself off before standing up.

"Simple, you're the only one that has the training and the knowledge of the workings of international soccer. Are you going to help us?" said George brushing himself of as well after getting back up.

"What about the Ha Hachamut*?" asked James

"They are in on this, if you get on board an agent of theirs will meet you in Milchama, of course you will have to be disguised."

"Okay. I'm in." said James

"Glad to hear it. We'll get you into your disguise, time is of the esscence, here is some money and a passport for you to get into Milchama, the passport is Milchaman supplied by Hachamut*, of course you will have to be jewish for the entire time you are there." finished George handing him a manilla envelope.

"Follow me, we'll get the process started right away." said Mildred leading James through a door.

...

James in his disguise looked much like a a Bazalonian Jew, the dress standards of Milchamians was very similiar, just slighlty conservative in his dress. He hoped on board the plane with his ticket and passport and sailed easily through Milchamian customs. The Ha Hachamut Agent would approach him. he sat in the designated area and picked up a copy of a certain newspaper that was lying around and started to read it....(On the back was a story about the Bazalonian loss to Rejistania in the World Cup) some one came and sat next to him.


(*Ha Hachamut is a Milchamian inteligence agency)

<Two rather related girls on TV>

Dazza: Hi, I'm Dazza Dallas. It's the qualifiers of the World Cup 32. With me is the new Women's World Cup coach, I think you know who she is. For those ignoramus - it's my sister Debbie Dallas.
Debbie: This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE, and yes I am Debbie Dallas - and this is my sister. Different fathers though.
Dazza: Today in Group G, the Nedalian lions took on Paladins and we took on The Lowland Clans.
Debbie: Well, and it's all drama like Dazza's life as usual.

Dazza: Firstly the Paladins did the job again slaying the gallant Nedalian Lions TWO ONE. People write off the Lions but from this display, they are no easy beats at all. They didn't go down without a fight and did the nation proud. In the end the Paladins got the golden three points.
Debbie: Unlucky Lions not to get a point but in the end, the right team did win because they took their chances.
Dazza: Meaning Nedalia are bottom of Group G.
Debbie: Also means they must win their the next two games too.

Dazza: well, our game. We drew with The Lowland Clans but we should have won really. The strikers only scores one goal and well, so did the Lowland clans. 1 ALL but we needed the win as we are yet to play the Paladins.
Debbie: The clan defense did well but you know apart from Kate Bush's late goal - we should have score far more. They only scored because we had to push forward and they caught the defense napping.
Dazza: A must win game - but not to be. To be safe, we need a win and a draw preferably two wins. Beating the Paladins is not an easy thing at all, and then we will probably need to beat Nedalia too - knocking then out as a consequence.
Debbie: That's football, no room to compromise at this end of the World Cup. We must win one of the next two games - and that will probably need to be Nedalia sadly.

Dazza: And I can't be there either.
Debbie: Self inflicted Dazza
Dazza: I played like this last Cup, I don't see the problem.
Debbie: Rules is rules these days

Dazza: Bettia tool on the vikings from Fmjphoenix and had better luck than Nedalia. Or did Bettia than Nedalia as you say!
Debbie: Dazza's the weird one in the family, but then she always was. Great game - in the end both teams settled with a draw after scoring 3 goals each. They tried but no one got the 3 golden points.
Dazza: It means Bettia need the three points - but probably not against the likes of Starblaydia, who should go beat everyone else.
Debbie: Let's hope Bettia get draw against Starblaydia

Dazza: Bedistan - the Lions got shot by the team from Errinundera. Yes, the Lions went down ONE THREE - a shock.
Debbie: Hard to believe! But it's true. One of the favourites in trouble early.
Dazza: This will please some out there. I can some headlines now
Debbie: Not good the team on their last cup - they might be going home early.

Dazza: Sis, it's time for YAP YAP
Debbie: Dazza loves YAP YAP. Her soapbox
Dazza: Hey, I get letters from girls who think my man is a stud of some kind. I have to agree! Well, I am his wife.
Debbie: Although people think she's just his mistress

Dazza: He's mine but send him fan mail anyway, preferably slightly obscene mail.
Debbie: Believe me, if you want some excitement - get Dazza to come around. Things just happen.
Dazza: They don't call me the Paris Hilton of Jeruselem football for nothing. If you want a nice girl talk to Kate Bush.
Debbie: And don't let that Monique and Dazza alone together with your man either.

Dazza: Only having some fun!
Debbie: But Monique's single, Dazza.
Dazza: Well, people think I'm single too.
Debbie: That's because you misbehave that way.

Dazza: Sis, you've got far more kids than I do! You just keep your misbehaviour out of the public!
Debbie: That's true, far too many kids. Almost a full football team at the moment.
Dazza: Stay from home more often and then you'll have less kids
Debbie: Might be a good idea Dazza except you have the opposite problem. You tend to get pregnant away from home.

Dazza: That's it from THE FOOTBALL LIFE
Debbie: It's not a crisis for Jeruselem yet but it could be. We need at least three more points.
Dazza: We'd better not repeat World Cup 29!
Debbie: I was the team captain then, yeah not good to repeat that one. Well, it's Kate's team not Dazza's so can't blame Bimbo here.

Dazza: Blame Dad instead!
Debbie: Ah, family everywhere.
Dazza: That include Rocky?
Debbie: Oh yes, he's dating Rashina my daughter.

Dazza: He's a man with a plan like his father.
Debbie: Good thing it doesn't involve you then

Group D:
Bettia [3-3] Fmjphoenix

Group G
New Montreal States [2] Nedalia [1]
The Lowland Clans [1] Jeruselem [1]

Group H
Bedistan [1] Errinundera [3]

Daveed Lintooney had led a rough life. After quitting soccer around World Cup 29, he had gone into international intelligence. He had no idea how he had gotten into the whole mess but here he was trying to stop Milchamian (what the hell?) terrorists from destroying Bazalonia and creating a war between the two nations. He had the clearance to do whatever was neccesary and was ready to do anything.

He found his man quite easily, James Gaines, at least it looked like him. Lintooney could hardly believe it. How could they disguise him? Well actually pretty well, then what about his qualifications in intelligence? An FA president? Are they insane? With a mission this important, oh well he was stuck with him.

"Sir you forgot the business eagle"

"The plane has landed, I presume"

"Yes it has"

"To the car now"

"Ok"

Off they went speeding down a highway where Lintooney made sure it was Gaines. He was in disguise as a Bazalonian Jew (couldn't disguise the accent) named Yonatan Williamsberg. Lintooney remembered that being a promising footballer in the Chaialim academy. Anyway, he introduced himself to Gaines after which they were quickly drawn to the task at hand. Where were the terrorists?

"How come you're only using 5 stadiums?"

"The threat. Our populace is insane we can't trust them with more because our security might not be able to handle it"

"Ok"

"So where are they?"

"We believe them to be in Wickert, because there is no match there they think they are in the clear and will be able to be away from authorities we hope to prove them wrong."

They were off to Wickert and ready to catch the terrorists.

Konigseifert Chronicle
Home Team Puts On Show
Geisenfried gets great start by crushing Cuation 4-1

Though Cuation tried to prepare itself to face the hosts on their own home turf, but in the end it was for naught. The Golden Eagles ran all over Cuation, putting up 4 goals to their 1, taking a complete victory and putting themselves one step closer to the ultimate goal of all 32 teams in the competition: the championship.

The game opened up quickly with a Geisenfried offensive, and it took just about no time for the scoreboard to light up, as Lukas Hoff gave a short pass to Josef Tonsheim in just the right position to allow him to burst through the defensive line. Tonsheim made the most of his opportunity, putting it past Jude Tanner to make 1-0 Geisenfried in just the 4th minute. Ten minutes later, Rolf Beike broke up a Cuation offensive and sent the ball to veteran team captain Samuel Wolfe, who showed he hasn't slowed down a bit, who beat the offside trap and broke away, leaving it just him and Tanner. Blasting the ball into the opposite high corner, it was 2-0 Geisenfried in the 16th. Yet another 10 minutes later, and Wolfgang Genz, son of former Geisenfried football star and current assistant national manager Karl Genz, headed in the ball off the corner, furthering the lead and making it 3-0 Geisenfried in the 25th. Finally, 8 minutes later Cuation managed to get on the board when a concentrated effort by Cuation's Lu Fei broke through the defense and got past Karl Hettich to make it 3-1 in the 33rd. It remained that score for the rest of the first half and the first twenty minutes of the second half, until in the 64th, Lukas Hoff got past a couple of defenders with some fancy footwork before entertaining the hometown fans with another goal past Tanner, putting it at 4-1. After that, the game settled down, and it ended quietly before a raucous postgame celebration for the home fans.

Geisenfried: 4
(Tonsheim 4, Wolfe 16, Genz 25, Hoff 64)
Cuation: 1
(Fei 33)

Group E G W D L P GF GA TGD
Geisenfried 1 1 0 0 3 4 1 +3
Schiavonia 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 +1
Spruitland 1 0 0 1 0 1 2 -1
Cuation 1 0 0 1 0 1 4 -3

Next game will be here at Konigseifert Athletic Arena against Spruitland. If Geisenfried wins along with Schiavonia, then Geisenfried will be guaranteed to be going on to the next round, a decisive step in the right direction.

News items from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) Age:

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Agemasthead.gif

FOOTBALL SUPERSTAR OUTED
Konigseifert, Geilsenfried: One of Errinundrian football’s great teasers has finally been answered today – the potoroo’s self-declared genderqueer captain, rosaniel, has been confirmed as having female sex organs. This vital information was finally revealed by a Geisenfriedian fan on the eve of the World Cup 32 match against Bedistan. The anonymous fan secretly filmed their cavorting together and posted the action on his website.

Fellow team members have remained tight-lipped on the matter, however team boot studder, mckennap, has confirmed that the liaison had taken place. “Quer gender and sexuality have nothing to do with quer value as a footballer or as a person generally,” declared mckennap to our reporter.

We consulted prominent Magistrate, opdu, on whether the revelation had any bearing on rosaniel’s legal status. “None whatsoever,” advised opdu. “An Errinundrian is legally genderqueer if they declare themselves as such. Otherwise they are male or female as per their sex gene. rosaniel made the declaration many years ago and has never rescinded it.”

TAX BREAKS NO RELIEF FOR BUSINESS IN ERRINUNDERA
First Creek Falls, Errinundera: The Government today officially abolished income tax and inheritance tax. A sanctimonious Protector of the Common Wealth, unteruber, is proud of the achievement: “How many left-wing utopias, how many nations with an imploded economy can boast a zero per cent income tax rate and a zero per cent inheritance tax rate? We are a shining light to the world on how to create a utopian environment for our citizens. I note also that the United Nations has today upgraded Errinundera’s political freedoms rating to ‘World Benchmark’. Clearly our rainforest is the place to be.”

CEO of Unfair Advantage Ltd, squealter, begs to differ. “Can you believe a country where the business sector with the greatest bankruptcy rate and the highest unemployment is the advertising industry? Why can’t these idiotic Errinundrians listen to what we tell them? For a start, they could at least go out and buy televisions. Or buy anything. Just look at their shopping habits: they go down to the local co-op and spend most of their time chatting with the neighbours. How is that going to help us?”

squealter also claims that the issue of low taxation is a furphy. “The real issue in this country, apart from the unforgivable shopping habits of the natives, is the choking regulatory system. Take pollution for example. We are required to emit zero pollution. What sort of rubbish idea is that? Governments are supposed to stop this sort of rot, not enforce it.”

When asked for a reply to squealter, local seditionist, geharri, observed that it had been at least four year since the most recent corporate torching, “On that occasion I believe that executives from Execra Ltd had made similar inflammatory statements.”

BEDISTAN BREAKS: STRAW MEN COULD BE OUTED EARLY
Konigseifert Athletic Arena, Geilsenfried: Errinundera started its World Cup 32 campaign in spectacular fashion when it downed the most fancied team of the group, Bedistan, 1-3. The potoroos had encountered the lions in both World Cup 30 and World Cup 31 and it was clear that they had worked hard on their aerial skills and their toughness – weaknesses that the lions had exploited previously.

The Bedistan defence was laid waste in the space of six minutes in the first half beginning with venu chipping a goal at the 28th minute then rosaniel bagging a pair at the 30th and 34th. Thereafter the lions tried hard but could not penetrate the stout defence of the potoroos until the 79th minute when Curd Petersdorf was tripped by motucku in the box and scored with the resultant penalty kick.

Team captain and self-declared genderqueer, rosaniel, was upbeat when que addressed the team after the match. “So far since the start of qualifying we have beaten every team rated above us we have encountered. Our scalps include Squornshelous (#1), Bedistan (#3) and Rejistania twice (#13). This is a testament to our skills, our tenacity, our enthusiasm. It is in honour to play these great sides and we have learned so much from them. But they are learning that it is also an honour to play Errinundera.” Que also acknowledged the great rivalry between Bedistan and Errinundera. “We have battled with them since World Cup 6. Their governing association has declared that this is their last World Cup campaign. All I can say is that, if we are truly a great side, then our strength was forged on the field against Bedistan.”

Bedistan now face the once unlikely prospect of not progressing beyond the first round. Lion fan, Roland Basiloff, put it poetically. “This is not the way the World Cup should end. Not with a bang but with a whimper?”

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Bedistan.png
Bedistan 1
(Curd Petersdorf 79)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png
Errinundera 3
(venu 28, rosaniel 30 & 34)

Referee: Patricia Jones (Elves Security Forces)

Goals so far:
20 rosaniel
9 venu
8 addicksonia
7 lyseup
2 cunégonde
2 otelopea
1 arpentek
1 carltu
1 zenoida

Team for next match:
F: rosaniel (gq, Milosis, 29, captain)
F: venu (f, Goongerah, 31, vice-captain)
F: lyseup (f, Bendoc, 25)
M: arpentek (f, Monkeytop, 28)
M: matherosperma (m, Sassafras Basin, 27)
M: zirza (f, Rodger River, 24)
M: matthieug (f, Delegate, 21)
D: phazel (f, Ootopia, 31)
D: thiend (f, McKillops Bridge, 27)
D: denticulatae (m, Goongerah, 26)
G: evolu (f, McKillops Bridge, 29, deputy vice-captain)

Substitutes:
F: otelopea (m, Ellery Camp, 30)
F: cunégonde (f, Monkeytop, 24)
M: ysteri (f, Bonang, 22)
D: ragle (f, First Creek Falls, 22)
G: owiavi (gq, Deddick, 25)

First period had just finished at Jo-Ru High School in Mil-Bax. Me-Adu, captain of the soccer team came up to his friend Ma-Ro as they were walking to calculus from History class.

"Ma-Ro, you catch the game last night?"

"What game?"

"Man, you know, the opening game against Milchama in the world cup."

"Sorry, I missed it."

"You missed our football players going up against the hosts to start the world cup. I know you're a football fan. What gives?"

"Sorry, bro. Last night was the opening day of the Atlantian Oceania Magic The Gathering championships."

"Wait, you missed the start of the best international athletic competition in the world to watch people put little pieces of cardboard on a table?"

"Yeah, but these are great players. Just like how Atlantian Oceania has the best and the brightest soccer players in the world, the same can be said about their Magic abilities. This Bazalonian guy James Rather had this wicked Blue/Black control deck that he totally rocked out with. The home fans absolutely ate it up."

"Really, I didn't know of any blue/black control decks that are popular right now."

"Yeah, that's why you've got to watch the AO championships, bro. This guy brought his rogue decked and stomped all the way to a perfect record with it. It was awesome."

Just then Me-Adu realized that he had been sidetracked into talking about Magic when he really wanted to talk about the world cup.

"Yeah, that might be true, but it's still a simple card game, not the greatest competition in the world."

"So what was so great about last night's game, then? Just being in the world cup isn't enough. There are often some real clunkers. Do you remember are match with Northern Caesarea from last cup. It was boring, even if important. "
"Well actually it kind of sucked. After we got hosed in the draw, cause apparently Milchamians aren't smart enough to do any math on their own, we had to play the hosts. Pizelkaxrovsky scored an opening goal, but then they came roaring back for four straight goals. It was crap. It's like the team got forgot how to play. I'd say that's the worst coaching job I've seen from these coaches."

"So why do you want to talk about it?"

"I need to vent. It was horrible. I can't believe they played so poorly."

"Oh I see. Well vent away my friend."

"It was crap. Our defenders just disappeared. I think Ml-Dni's lost it. It's probably best that he won't be around next cup."

"I'm sure he wasn't that bad."

"You didn't watch the match. He was total shit."

"Well we better get going bro, Calc's about to start."

"OK, lads...no team talk...not needed. Just look at the press. Look at this one from a dwarf paper:

Wentland is clearly out of their league here and will be struggling to earn any points against the powers.

"And this from some clan rag:

Wentland, well, there misery at least extends till the real thing this time around, and the title for New Hypocria loses another contender.


"Our gracious hosts don't have us as much better:

However, Quakmybush edges the ever unlucky Wentland to get into the Round of 16.


"And the ducks have us as worse:

Squornshelous
Liverpool England
Quakmybush
Wentland


"And what about this one?

Wentland has no chance. We think they will get minus points, on the basis that they will be so rubbish that the Committee will state that they have been a total waste of DNA and that it would have been better to invite a team of dustbins to participate.

"Or this?

Who are Wentland? Never heard of them. They might steal a point, but otherwise they'll be home before the emails.

"Just go out and kick their bloody collective arse. World Champions, pfft, Chumpions more like."

***

"Come on, Crash...it's our last chance..."

"Inswinger, Trevesy..."

"Get it!!!! Ohhhh...sh..."

"Get back, Crash!!"

"Grab him, Davo!!!"

"Noooo..."

"YEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! That'll settle it!!!"

"Bloody hell. Bloody bloody hell."

***

Dear Steve

Wish you were here! Bloody brilliant here. Lots of mad monks.
3-3! What a game. The cassock is a babe magnet. Beard is rubbish
though. I see your lot blew it. Last minute clincher. Fancy
sending the goalie up like that! I found a tool leaving the ground.
Think it might be the Blessed Wrench of St Arkady
the Divine Architect, but need to check with the Big
Beard. See ya. Fr Io the Dead Cool Finder of Stuff.

Land Of Confusion

SO what is going on at KFA Headquarters?

The KFA have said they "may" not enter the next World Cup (despite the team being ranked second in the world), Ricky Mallon doesn't know whether he'll still be in a job when he flies home, the Bedistanis have already stated their intentions to quit, and in the midst of all this confusion, the national team had to play a game of football.

To be fair to the Aces, they did try not to let the off-pitch shenanigans affect them, but there was a feeling that the behind the scenes action was on their minds. Basic mistakes were being made, and only an inspired performance from Simon Barradez kept them in the game in the first half. However, the second half was a slightly different story. Ricky Mallon must have been doing some serious ear-chewing in the dressing room!

The only goal of the game was not a classic, not that Jermaine Orange will care though. His scrambled effort from a corner was his first at the Finals; he'll be hoping for many more to come.

And, here at THSD, so are we.

A PREDICTABLE LOSS FOR CAFUNDÉU

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2005/07/14/247258-0773-ga.jpg
Starblaydia dominated the game

After reaching the World Cup, Cafundéu's supporters knew that get good results in such an important competition would be a very difficult thing, nearly impossible. The team got nervous in the first game and conceded two goals in the first fifteen minutes, and didn't have the ability and experience to try to recover. The result was an easy 2x0 for Starblaydia.

Some supporters of Cafundéu travelled to Milchama to see the game, but had to left the stadium sad because of the result. But the government paid some tickets for the next two games of Cafundéu, hoping that the help of some fans can make the team to get good results. So, let's see what will happen now.

THE GAME
Cafundéu started the game with a more defensive style than the ones of the qualifying games, knowing that was facing a dangerous opponent. Starblaydia attacked since the beginning of the game, and could score two fast goals. 5th minute: In a fast play, Volaré received the ball in the midfield, dribbled an opponent and passed the ball to Mahezihim, who invaded the area and passed the ball to Matranga, who had no difficulties in scoring the first goal of the game.

9th minute: Cafundéu tried to reply using the wings. Ray Kirs made a long range pass to Kliek in the attacking area. The midfielder dribbled and opponent and passed the ball to Ganz Ijak, who shot. The goalkeeper made a good save. 12th minute: Starblaydia attacked in numbers and Cafundéu's defenders could hold the pressure. Dakic crossed the ball to the area and Mahezihim headed to score the second goal of the game.

After suffering two goals, Cafundéu tried to recover, but couldn't make good plays and missed all the goal chances. 16th minute: Anormal passed the ball to Priotto and ran to the attack. Priotto, after controlling the ball for some time, passed the ball back to the giant, who shot to the goal, sending the ball over the bar. 20th minute: Cravex passed the ball to Mahezihim, who dribbled two opponents and shot, but wide.

23rd minute: dos Santos received the ball inside the area from Stracinho and shot, but the goalkeeper Vargas made a fine save. 28th minute: Heitor received the ball from Anormal and invaded the area. Averette tackled him, but Brahma got the rebound and shot. The ball hit the bar and then left the playing field. 32nd minute: Stracinho invaded the area and dribbled an opponent, but lost control of the ball and missed the chance.

37th minute: Volaré crossed the ball to the area. Mahezihim headed the ball, but it hit the post. Matranga got the rebound, heading the ball, but he sent it over the bar. 41st minute: Vandick passed the ball to Kliek, who lost the ball to an opponent and fouled him, receiving a card. 45th minute: Stracinho received the ball from dos Santos and shot from outside the area, missing the goal. The first half ended.

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2005/07/14/247248-9781-ga.jpg
Cafundéu had a good second half

For the second half, Cafundéu's coach Franz Braddock put the newcomer Goiaba in Kliek's place and Brahma left for Mercegues. Starblaydia's coach just put Coalville in Volaré's place. Starblaydia continued better in the second half, although Cafundéu got some good chances to score and played a better game than in the first half. 4th minute: Goiaba dribbled a player and passed the ball to Ganz Ijak. The attacker shot to the goal, but the shot was very poor and the goalkeeper could hold the ball easily.

10th minute: Stracinho took the ball from Priotto and went to the attack. He reached the area and then passed the ball to Mahezihim, who shot with style. The ball went wide, but very near to the goal, and Vargas only hoped to see it going wide. 15th minute: Coalville passed the ball to Matranga, who was going to dribble Sávio Ferrari. But Cafundéu's defender fell without reason, a bad fall and the attacker could continue his play. He shot to the goal, but Becão blocked the ball and cleared the danger.

20th minute: Vandick was attacking in the right wing and was with good chances to cross the ball to the area, where Anormal was waiting for the ball. But González came and made a violent foul in him, and both had to leave the field injured, although it probably wasn't serious. Brunnés entered in Vandick's place and Rekezeski entered in González's place. 24th minute: Adams made a long range pass to Mahezihim, who dribbled a player and sent the ball to Matranga, but Vargas reached the ball first.

28th minute: Heitor received the ball from Mercegues, but he stepped on the ball and fell on the ground. Fortunately for him, he could get up and continue the play, reaching the entrance of the area and shooting, seeing Graikalonii making a excellent save and sending the ball for a corner. Kirs took the corner and Becão headed the ball, but missed the goal. 33rd minute: Stracinho was fouled by Becão, who received a yellow card. He took the free kick, but the ball went over the bar.

38th minute: Priotto passed the ball to Anormal, who knocked an opponent and reached the entrance of the area, shooting the ball. A defender blocked his path, and Heitor got the rebound. But Adams was ready to take the ball back and help his team. 44th minute: In the last good attack of the game, Coalville crossed the ball to the area and Matranga headed it. The ball hit the post and stopped over the line. Vargas collected it and the game ended.

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2005/07/14/247259-0729-ga.jpg
Vargas complained a lot with his defenders

STARBLAYDIA 2x0 CAFUNDÉU

Place: Nebuchadnezzar Grounds, in New Babylon(Milchama).
Attendance: 90,100 people.
Referee: Aran Massaid(Jeruselem).
Man of the Match: Keztarr Mahezihim(Starblaydia).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/starblaydia.png STARBLAYDIA: Graikalonii, Averette, González(Rekezeski), Adams and Cravex; dos Santos, Dakic, Volaré(Coalville) and Mahezihim; Stracinho and Matranga.
Coach: Jaime Oberlander.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Vargas, Vandick(Brunnés), Kirs, Becão and Sávio Ferrari; Anormal, Priotto, Brahma(Mercegues) and Kliek(Goiaba); Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Coach: Franz Braddock.

GOALS: STARBLAYDIA: Matranga 5' , Mahezihim 12'.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu - next game's formation: Vargas, Vandick, Kirs, Becão and Sávio Ferrari; Anormal, Priotto, Goiaba and Kliek; Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Style of +2

Match's Referee: Karela Ikaru(Rejistania).
Stadium: Sparrow Field, in Swooton(Milchama).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 3-1 Northern Caesarea http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/northern_caesarea.png

Beating the Northerners

Watch ( http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1856/pinawc32ao7.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

It’s always nice to get off to a good start, and the Rouge-et-Noirs did that today, against a team which, on paper, was their easiest opponent.

After performing a lively and fierce ulek, the Ariddians were keen to show they were in top form. Their Northern Caesarean opponents resisted well for almost half an hour, although a free kick by Hanifah Kyaw in the nineteenth minute just skimmed past the goal cage. Then, in the twenty-seventh minute, Tadjou Senaya finally sent the ball hurtling into the net, and the Rouge-et-Noirs were in the lead.

By half-time, news came that it was still a goalless draw between Krytenia and Alasdair I Frosticus, the other two teams in Group C. Not content with a one goal advantage, however, the Ariddians pressed on.

The second half was a triumph for Arab Ariddian attacker Najmah Majrashi. Her goal in the fifty-second minute boosted supporters’ confidence, although Northern Caesarea narrowed the gap shortly thereafter. It was 3-1 in the seventy-seventh minute, thanks to Majrashi again, and the Caesarans knew they had to up the pressure.

The match was somewhat more balanced in the closing minutes, as the losing side appeared to muster up fresh reserves of energy. The Rouge-et-Noirs’ defence held, with Ke Sho performing at his usual high level of skill, until one attacker finally obtained a clear shot in the last few seconds. . . which goalkeeper Xavier Xu was just able to deflect.

The Rouge-et-Noirs had won their first match by a comfortable margin.

“Of course, we can’t afford to lose either of the other two,” team captain Hanifah Kyaw pointed out.

At this level of the competition, there is little room for error.

Cuation Gored by Geisenfried

Cuation has an uphill battle to qualify after taking on the only team in the group weaker and getting thrashed. It says it all about the team's performance that Jude was by far Cuation's best player, blameless for the goals and managed to pull of some decent saves but certainly far from his best form.

Cuation struggled from the start, the home side playing wonderful football with Lukas Hoff, in front of his own fans, playing Josef Tonsheim through on goal. Jude narrowed the angle but could do little as the ball was struck sweetly into the top corner of the net. Four minutes had gone and Cuation heads seemed to go down rather easily.

Ten minutes later, Rolf Beike intercepted a poor Fallen through pass and played it up the pitch. With Cuation appealing for offside, Samuel Wolfe played on, the veteran striker firing into the other corner. The Cuation players protested but Jude seemed to be saying to his defence that they had failed with the offside trap and was furious.

The keeper tipped one long range effort around the post but he could only watch as Genz headed home unmarked. 3-0 down after 25 minutes but perhaps some daring changes might have saved the game but the manager brought off the struggling Cheese for Terry and Rual off for Scott, going to a 5-4-1.

Lu Fei couldn't really be blamed, he scored the one chance he got and had been left isolated for the rest of it. His goal showed luck that had clearly deserted the rest of the team, his long hopeful effort somehow going through the defence, Karl Hettich perhaps seeing it late.

Tanner kept Cuation with a fighting chance but when Scott's efforts seemed to have got Cuation going, Lukas Hoff scored a goal that will live long in the memory. Neville, Terry, Cheese and James all tried to stop him, one of the challenges seemed to be going for his leg but he avoided it all and deserved the cheers when he finally released the ball, stroking it past Jude Tanner.

Amda-Mo: After a splendid qualifying campaign the Gnomes came crashing down, with a 4-2 defeat to the hosts Milchama. What happened out there today?

Lur-Mn: We just played poorly. I think the biggest culprit was poor positioning but there were many aspects of the game that struggled.

Amda-Mo: Explain what you mean by poor positioning.

Lur-Mn: On three different occasions the defenders were out of position. Twice Milchama took advantage and the third time Gn-Lg made a fine save to keep the damage down a bit.

Amda-Mo: Will any changes be made to the lineup?

Lur-Mn: Certainly. That was just an unacceptable performance. Allowing four goals is just unacceptable. The key candidates to be dropped are Ml-Dni and Hmr-Pn. I don't think dropping Ml-Dni will go over well, but I expect Hmr-Pn to get dropped.

Amda-Mo: Who for?

Lur-Mn: Well there's two main choices, with an outside chance of going a third way. The safe maneuver is to start Lo-Ro. The move that is risky but has the most potential upside is starting Ip-Gp. He's unquestionably the most talented player on the bench, but there's a big question of where to put him. The other possibility is to bring Ml-Dni forward and add another defender, which would probably be At-Zm.

Amda-Mo: Looking ahead to Rejistania, what do we have to do to regroup?

Lur-Mn: Well with us giving up four and them scoring five our defense needs to be better. We struggled to score against them last qualifiers so if we're going to beat them, and we must beat them we need to play nearly perfect defense.

Amda-Mo: Do you think the team will get it done?

Lur-Mn: Honestly no. I think they'll play better, but I think the result will end up in a draw.

Amda-Mo: How about the other match in the group?

Lur-Mn: The Bazalonians certainly have the talent to pull it off and will have desperation on their side. I think they'll get it done with an exciting 3-2 win.

Amda-Mo: If those results end up as you predicted what would the Gnomes need to do?

Lur-Mn: Let's not get to looking ahead too much, but that would be the best result for the Gnomes as they could control their destiny against the Bazalonians and then would need some help to get the second spot. But who knows if that'll happen.

Amda-Mo: Looking around the cup what other results interest you?

Lur-Mn: Well clearly the Bedistan result is the most suprising. Errinundera almost certainly punched their ticket with that win. Qutar is still looking like nothing more than 3 points. That means barring goal differential trouble Errinundera should be through. Vilita throttling Oliverry is also a suprise. Liverpool England looked resurgent with their win. And the hosts proved that given a group of mediocre teams they can take advantage blasting Cuation 4-1.

Amda-Mo: After the first round of games who would you call the favorites?

Lur-Mn: I think Starblaydia probably steps up to the mantle of favorites after Bedistan's loss, but I think the two best performances were by Milchama and Rejistania.

Amda-Mo: Both teams from our group?

Lur-Mn: Yes. With the way the draw was set up big name teams could only take down lesser lights, with the exceptions of Milchama and Rejistania. Errinundera and Vilita got the biggest wins, but I can't see them challenging for the title, so the results mean much less.

Amda-Mo: Well good luck to the team as they face a critical match against Rejistania.

Ariddia 3 Nothern Caesarea 1

12. Ortega 0

16. Camacho ** I A
4. Capdevilla ** => 17. Joaquín (m.76)
5. Soler **
21. Perea *****
22. Ibañez **** AA

24. Novo **** => 13. Castro (m.75)
6. Begines **** A
8. Ríos ***** => 10. Solá (m.85)

9. Torres ***
20. Toledo 0

--------------------------------------------------------

22. Xavier Xu 0

23. Selan Mataitai ****
17. Eo La ***
20. Ke Sho **

3. Hanifah Kyaw **
13. Uha Teh *****
9. Tadjou Sheyi Senaya ***
12. Chloé al Safi **

5. Nathalie Simon ****
21. Dave Rider *****
16. Najmah Majrashi **

The crack
Uha Teh
Gave a good lesson to our boys about what a good midfielder must be. Offensive mind, technique, helpful in defense and always dangerous.

The dandy
Dave River
The rouge-et-noir striker didn't score tonight, but he had a decisive role in two goals. He's the reason for the bad scores of our defenders in this match.

A Change of Plans?

The as-yet-unnamed Graceville resident from last episode was browsing the news of the Lions' opening match of the group stage of the Cup. It didn't look good...

* * *

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/bsd-online.png

Out for the count?
Shock upset means Lions' farewell party may not even reach midnight, let alone last call

KONIGSEIFERT, Geisenfried -- Whether the Bedistani team was failing to reach its potential or whether the Errinundrians' meteoric rise continues may be very much up for debate. What's not up for debate, however, is the fact that the Lions ended up on the wrong end of a 3-1 scoreline against, on paper, the weakest team in the group.

The potoroos' recent experiences against Bedistan were obviously fresh in the Errinundrians' minds, as they seemed able to successfully thwart every manuever the green and blue attempted. Near the half-hour mark, the potoroos converted their solid defensive effort into a counterattack. venu quickly made her way up the pitch before lobbing a long shot over the head of a very much out-of-position Elaine Morris to give Errinundera a 1-0 lead. Morris obviously lost her head after this, and rosaniel took advantage of her state to quickly triple the score in the next six minutes. Bedistan manager Vanessa Carpenter was forced into an uncharacteristic first-half substitution, bringing in the relatively inexperienced Cole Wilkinson to finish the match between the posts.

Wilkinson, despite his lack of international experience, did seem to be noticeably calmer than Morris, and he seemed to be having greater success working with the defense, including captain Timothy Watson. Bedistan would not end up conceding any more goals, but unfortunately the damage had already been done. With a monumental task before them, strikers Bobby Tucker and Gang Min-a seemed to have crumbled under the pressure. The only thing the fans back in the Grand Dominion would end up being able to cheer about was second-half substitute Curd Petersdorf's successful penalty kick that at least tarnished evolu's clean sheet. But it would end up being an every bit deserved win for Errinundera over the four-time World Cup champions.

"I've gotta hand it to 'em, these guys definitely know how to rise to the occasion," commented attacking midfielder Bekk Sherman after the match, referring to her opposition. "Every time we've played Errinundera, they've just been better and better, and today they were better than we were."

Goalkeeper Elaine Morris was still inconsolable after the final whistle. "If we miss the knockout stages of our final Cup run, it's all my fault. I didn't come ready to play today, and they took advantage of that. I've let my country down."

Morris has also reportedly requested of Carpenter that she be placed on the substitutes' bench for the Qutar match; the manager has allegedly granted this request. Qutar will be hoping to step up their game in that match, having just come off a 0-3 loss to Casari. With the Casari match expected to be the most difficult in the group stage, the Lions are faced with a must-win situation in Neumann.

BEDISTAN 1
C. Petersdorf (79' pen)
ERRINUNDERA 3
venu (28'), rosaniel (30', 34')

* * *

As he read the BSD article, one of his co-conspirators in Geisenfried sent him an instant message.

GDBgreen: you got the stuff yet?
gvlionsfan27: yea
gvlionsfan27: it just came in this morning
GDBgreen: where are you storing it?
gvlionsfan27: its in the old military bunker off hwy 2
GDBgreen: good
GDBgreen: now you need to go ahead and start setting it up
GDBgreen: 'cause of course we want to do it on the day of the final
GDBgreen: but if the team keeps losing, we might have to do it a little earlier than we'd planned
gvlionsfan27: yea i was just readin the article in the bsd
gvlionsfan27: looks pretty bad
GDBgreen: I was at the match myself
GDBgreen: you should've seen poor Morris
GDBgreen: she looked like she wanted to die right then and there
GDBgreen: anyway, I've gotta go
GDBgreen: this hotel charges out the ass for Internet service
GDBgreen: start setting up
GDBgreen: because whether we win the cup or not, the day of the team's last match is go day
GDBgreen: good luck
GDBgreen signed off at 2114-06-23 12:36:50.

THE FINALE - Bedistan in World Cup 32
<01> A Priori (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12205880&postcount=501)
<02> Bullshit? (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12208741&postcount=508)
<03> A Change of Plans?

Les aventures de Ti-Jean Gooddeath

Chapter 2: The Ennemies from across the Cove

As Jean-Alan got out of the Crown Stadium, he was awaiten by many people from all around the globe, journalists and some Vilitans wanting to give him a White Flag for the "Great" performance of the Oliverrian team in their first match against Vilita. As one of his bodyguard was playing cards with a Vilitan, Bellemort thought: "Can these Atheistic Rights bodyguards really be reliable?" Anyway, after 2 hours, he was finally able to escape, seaching for the first Poutine stand he could find to eat some. "Players won't notice. I'm a little fat anyway, thanks to that Milchaman guy who was supposedly manager of the national team for some World Cups. He said he was better than me, but well... We finished 4th in last cup..." As he finally found a poutine stand (called "L'abandonneux et visqueux français", which has a white flag hanging by), he went in and called for a poutine and a Pepsioli® Cola bottle. When the guy spoke to him with a German accent saying "Terrrre ist no Pepsioli Cola in herrre! Oliverrri ist der crrrap.", Jean-Alan grabed the guy by the collar and asked him: "Is there some goddamn poutine atleast?" When the guy told him there was, Bellemort asked for a large poutine "Take out". Once he finally got out, he thought: "Maudits boches..."

Once he got in his car again, on the road to the hotel, he tuned the radio to the most interesting radio station in Konigseifert (OOC: Up to Geis to decide which one) and began to sing as they were playing a song in French by Oliverrian artist Jérémie. At a red light, about 500m (about 1640' for those still living with 18th Century measure units) from the hotel, were 4 Vilitans waiting in a white suit, which was still, nonetheless, something similar to a surf suit with a top. They all entered in Bellemort's car and told him to park on the side of the car. He then wondered what was happening and the Vilitans told him they were not happy about the Oliverrian loss, and that they bet that Oliverry was supposed to win... 3-1. He told them that he tried what he could to win the game, but that the Vilitans were better than them that day. The Vilitan's leader, known as Malaino by the three others, then replyed: "Ok... we're gonna let this slide by, but do this another time and..." *makes a move just down the throat which looks like a knife slicing a throat*. "You understand?"

Then, all four vilitans went away. Bellemort was afraid of this act and wondered "why the "Vilitan Mafia", as he thought they were, was betting on sports events. Wasn't that illegal in Vilita? But, still... this is the "Mafia"..." He then drove the remaining 500 metres to the hotel to get the players ready to leave to Dohmen for their next game against The Archregimancy. "We've got a very important game tomorrow guys. This game will decide of our destiny. We win and we still have a shot at qualifying. We lose and we are most likely eliminated, and it would be a shame for a team like us." Then, one player askes Jean-Alan: "Why do you have this Poutine cup with you?" Bellemort told him something not really nice to relate here, and took his players with him to wait for the bus in front of the hotel. "Next game will be important, he wondered. It will be important... for my life"

Les aventures de Ti-Jean Gooddeath
Chapter 1: Arrival of the team in Konigseifert (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12204475&postcount=495)
Chapter 2: The Ennemies from across the Cove

GRAHAM CITY SUN - World Cup Coverage

The Long Night

GEISENFRIED - Well, it was a long night for many teams in the World Cup. We are seeing the end of an era as Bedistan and Krytenia are both making there final appearence in the World Cup, depriving the field of two of the best teams that have dominated the field for years. For Bedistan, their first game didn't look terribly impressive. Knocked down by a resurgent Errinundera who have returned after many years in the abyss, it's bringing the question to many people's minds: How long will it be before the Lowland Clans are the oldest nation partaking in the World Cup? With only Spaam beginning earlier as an active team, the Clans have become the flag flyers for the veterans among the Cup. With Audioslavia, Bedistan, Krytenia gone, Spaam performing well below par, Alaisdair I Frosticus a puppet, Liverpool England quiet, as well as Squornshelous, despite winning the last World Cup, as been a quiet nation.

The Lowland Clans, despite not having a terribly glorious history, have been one of the most consistent teams in the World Cup until famously knocked out by Aquilla, and have never made it past the Group Stage until last cup, hosted at home. Many people involved in Clan soccer look around and see teams that have arrived in the last ten cups succeeding on a level unknown at home, the question has to be, why have the Clans not succeeded? The highest finish was 4th, but that was almost eighty years ago. The Galaxy, once known as the Stars, have certainly planted their flag as one of the veterans determine to survive the falling away of many. Will they? Only time will tell. After the Long Night, the somewhat humourosly named period between World Cup 23 and World Cup 31, a span of eight cups where the Galaxy/Stars did not qualify. With the sleeping giant of Clan support awakened with the hosting of the last Cup, will it be enough to end the 25-cup drought and bring home a trophy? Well, Lady Luck (i.e. Margaret) will certainly be needed. Consistent support from the press and supporters and dedication from the players. After a record performance, they certainly look like they can take it.

But will they? After stealing a point from Jeruselem, We will have to see.

"Wait... what?" Reg said, his head stuck out the locker room door. "How the hell did they lose? We didn't pull a Spurs on them, did we?"

"Hell, it had to be something. Noone has that kind of mental fart." one of the assistant coaches said. "I have to go work on some things, but thought you should know."

"Yeah, thanks." Reg said, walking back to his celebrating players. "Well... Bedistan just lost 3-1 to a kidneyfull of noone."

"... Wow." Mina said, trying to see how many shoes she could stack. "Does that influence us in any way, or it is just a nifty fact?"

"Well, unless you want to win the group or not." Reg said, shrugging as the stack of shoes fell to the ground.

"Alright, 12. Beat that." Mina said, pointing across the locker room. "You won't, but I know you'll try, just because if you don't, you won't be able to keep the mental image of yourself as anything other than a loser alive."

Michael stared back and blinked a few times. "I have no idea what the hell you were trying to say there. Maybe you should work on your command of the language so you don't one day fall so far behind that you curse yourself to mumbling at the nurse that comes to visit every day to make sure you don't drown in your own spit."

"God, that's morbid. You have problems, man. What kind of a normal person would say that to someone else?"

"One that has an appreciation for dark humor?"

"... That might make sense. Anyway, coach, we came up with a surefire way to beat Bedistan long ago."

"And what would that be?" Reg said, leaning against an empty locker.

Kyle yawned. "We kick them in the nuts."

"... spuh?"

"Yeah, and then we push the women over, because they're weak and defenseless." Mina finished. "It's a surefire way to win."

Reg blinked, and looked from one of his confident players to another as they all nodded in agreement of the plan. Finally, he turned to stare off in space and walked out of the room.

"I don't think he believes us." Michael said.

"He will soon enough. He gets logic and all that stuff." Mina said.

"So I came in here for a pulled muscle and ended up staying four months?"

"Well... yes."

"But those four months seemed like a fortnight?"

"Yes."

"But why?"

"It's a psychiatric thing."

"What?"

"You see, as you fell from the bike, you also hit your head off the ground. Though you didn't realise it at first, it had affected your short-term memory. In turn, this meant that nothing could go into your long-term memory. If you actually took time to see which ward you were in, you'd find it'd be a psychiatric one."

"So... how come I could remember who we should be playing?"

"Becuase the fixtures were released before your fall."

"Oh. OK."

"Look, you just lie in bed. The team have said that they'll dedicate the first victory they have in the finals to you."

"But we don't know who they're playing yet. I bet we'll end up with all the top teams."

"Well, let's hope we get a simpler group. Geisenfried, Spruitland and Cuation... something like that I could easily live with. And they'd win at least one game there!"

"That's not going to happen, is it?"

"Probably not, no."

- - - - -

The Schiavone Scribe
Sloths Spru It For Jones
Schiavonia 2-1 Spruitland

The Schiavone team beat Spruitland in their World Cup 32 opener, and rushed to dedicate their victory to former Sloths captain Mike Jones, who's love ofhte Sloths caused him to pass out at their final qualifier against Agessai Developments.

Double-goalscorer Colin Chester told reporters that it was a performance Jones would have been proud of. "He'll be lying in his bed in hospital and he'll be proud to be Schiavone after seeing that. I know it wasn't a flashy win, it was more of a scrap, but that was how Mike played himself."

Indeed, it was a scrappy win, with two scrambled goals from Chester seeing the Sloths past the Wabbits. Not the style of football you'd expect from either team. Still, the result means that a win against Cuation would put the Sloths in a very strong position to make the second round again. Indeed, that result coupled with hosts Geisenfried avoiding defeat would put the Sloths through!

Final score
Schiavonia 2 (Chester 44, 71)
Spruitland 1 (Kloots 27)

Hi Netizens,

Oh what to do? To do to do to? Where to go, to go to go to go... For me, the rhetorical METISSE*-question for me was easy: take an extended holiday and han'xe! It's the World Cup and for a blogger with an unhealthy fascination for soccer, this means be there or die in the attempt. Fortunately, the 4 year-cycle of kalesity makes it possible to have a reduced schedule for the world cup, so a rather high amount of election-organisers can take their vacation. Including me. It was rather difficult to find a vedjeti in Milchama, since then Milchamans seem to prefer quality over low costs. But eventually I found a place without ruining myself more than expected. Not that I would mind, it's a kind of tradition among certain groups of people to place a bet against the successful outome of a medical therapy in order to offer the forces of fate something to reach ones goals.

Of course I had tickets for the Bazalonia match. Have you ever doubted? The athmosphere during world cup matches is vastly different from the one in normal league matches. It is more intense and more celebrated. The Orange-Blues fell ehind rather early in the match and the disappointment was not only visible but nearly tangible. Fortunately, there were nearly no karelans on both sides. The 2:2 at half-time would have seriously injured them. What was surprising? Heje Kija's starting would have been at the beginning of this qualification, but Asaikivelemanakere Ralaseletikivenemaratede trusts the centralist and did a good decision this time. Vik Milhe~r's first start in a world cup match was also a surprise and the defender id not really impress. He reacted too nervously and too incoherently. I would glorify Aia Kansu for his appearance in the last 30 minutes and the 4:3, but as you know, I do that all the time. Most impressive however for most non-Karelans was the 2:2 because it was a karelan, no-one else than Jiira Invatasele who was 'to blame' (if you want to imitate Karela-jargon).

I could continue to talk about this match for quite a long time, but I have not started getting drunk yet and after a match, that has priority. A 5:3 victory isn't something normal!


*OoC: METISSE is the first RL-reference I use in Rejistania, the band really exists, as does this song. and believe me, both are worth NSfication.

ooc: rp from school, no time and having to alt+tab every other second :P

The Daily Quak
Sharks Lose To Englanders, Start Cup On Wrong Foot

The Quakmybush Sharks began thier World Cup 32 Proper run. The team took on Liverpool England. The teams came out pumped for the game. Liverpool England has a 2-0 lead before the 15th minute. The Quakmybush fans that had made the trip to Milchama thought that the game was lost. However, Jon Fields scored in the 26th minute to make it a close game going into the half. Near the beginning of the second half Liverpool England scored again to make it 3-1. Cory Sorley then scored in the 78th minute to make it 3-2. However, the sharks could not score again and lost the game 3-2. The team will now need to win its next two games for any chance for the knock out rounds.

World Cup Proper Goal Scorers:
Jon Fields -1
Cory Sorley - 1

Article By: Rick Juras

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama impressive in opening match

Against the relatively new nation of Az-Cz, the Warriors wanted to show themselves in their first competitive since the Quarters of WC 31. They did that in spectacular fashion as they demolished the Gnomes defense pushing past 4 goals and getting a 4-2 win. Coach Jamie Smith said, "The lads played great today, they really showed their stuff to the doubters. TAKE THAT DOUBTERS WE CAN AND WILL WIN!!!!" Yes clearly the coach is insane. Anywhoo, "how they scored"

8th minute: Pizelkaxrovsky with the ball. He gets pass one man, two now, he needs to beat Mergle this will be hard though. He doesn't try it passes to Hubertino, WHOSE ONSIDE! Hubertino back to Pizelkaxrovsky he SHOOTS! OH NO! 1-0 Gnomes. Some great play from Pizelkaxrovsky and the Warriors are down. What a horror start. Smith must be turning in his grave- I mean seat.

10th minute: Marchakov on the wing. This is his debut game and you think that he must be feeling the butterflies in front of the 100,000 + screaming fans. But here he is past Pizelkaxrovsky and into the defense. He passes over to Clufor who makes a nice pass back. He's on the endline now as he cuts inside gets stopped by Hubertino but, Cuts out a pass to Keffer! Marin Keffer wide open from 15 yards! 1-1! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!! Some great play from Marchakov allows Keffer to be wide open inside the box and its a tie game.

32nd minute: Milchama on the attack since that goal. Clufor wins the ball in midfield, over to Lonnen, Lonnen cuts it back to Joseph, who has just morphed into MARC J. FLOREN! WHAT THE HELL?! Anyway Marc J. Joseph is onto Ml-Dni and is past him its one on one with the goalie Floren shoots! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! A great run by Floren and its 2-1 Milchama.

44th minute: Almost halftime and Milchama are looking to cement their lead. Clufor looking in and he's going with the deep ball. Ml-Dni is in a footrace with Kelvin Joseph, well not really he's been beat, BADLY, as Joseph floats away. The keeper comes out to try and make the play but Joseph chips over, the defenders trying to come back... But they won't get there! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! 3-1 Milchama at halftime! This is a rout my friends. A long ball from Clufor to Joseph and then a 20 yard chip over the goalkeeper and Milchama has pulled away.

Halftime: Wow! Complete domination from the Warriors.

51st minute: Milchama looking for 4, Hubertino won't be able to stop them this time as he tries to take the ball away from Clufor but Del is past him. He passes over to Marchakov. Nicolai Marchakov, the Mad Bull, he tries to get inside and pass to Albentine but he's not open. Marchakov cuts inside and shoots from 19 yards. GOAL! Your kidding me a seemingly harmless shot from Marchakov jumps up and is in the top right corner of the net! It's 4-1 Milchama and the Warriors are home free. I like this World Cup.

88th minute: Pixelrovsky with one last oppurtunity for the Gnomes. He takes a pass to Bub-Rub who beats the Milchamian defense he shoots! Saved by Finton but oh no! He's given up a rebound Rub pounces and its 4-2. Az-Cz pulls one back in the closing moments.

Final Score:
Milchama 4 (Keffer 10, Floren? 32, Joseph 44, Marchakov 51)
Az-Cz (Pizelrovsky 8, Bub-Rub 88)

Milchama Man of the Match:
Despite great play from everybody in a Warriors uniform Nicolai Marchakov stood out today. He scored one goal and led to another. He was unlucky not to destroy the Gnomes defense as he outran Ml-Dni at seemingly every oppurtunity. He was the perfect replacement for Kilinin. Another great job by Jamie Smith.

World Cup MD02 RP Cutoff

Milchama Group MD02 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12222292&postcount=27)
Geisenfried Group MD02 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12222291&postcount=26)

And welcome to Talk Bazalonia, Bazalonia's premiere radio talk show here on BazFM, your source for everything Bazalonia. Today on Talk Bazalonia the Bazalopes World Cup performance. Worst Performance against teams that are supposedly equal, 2 matches and 2 losses 5-3 loss against Rejistania and a 4-3 loss against the hosts Milchama. If you have anything to say please ring us up at BazFM ... 1800 229 367. What are your opinions and thoughts on the devastating blow to Bazalonian pride and soccer prowess. And we've already got a few people on the switchboard. First up, Harold from Uggville. WEelcome to Talk Bazalonia."

"Thanks. I'm just floored, this is the first true step back that the Bazalopes have ever done. I was expecting them to at least make the quarter finals this time but no. I think the team really needs to pull it's act together and get things done on the field where it needs to be done."

"thank you Harold and now Brianna from Gainesford, Welcome to Talk Bazalonia"

"Let's not forget James Gaines, that man was the heart of Bazalonian Soccer, and with his disappearance the subject of many conspiracy theories who knows what the players could thinking, I think they did fairly well particularily with the state of mind they must have. They had a tough group and and up against the hosts is almost like a death sentence in the group stage. If we can only find out what happened then we've got a good chance next WC."

"That was Brianna, and now Edward from Jackaranda, Welcome to Talk Bazalonia."

"This is all the Host's fault putting 2 teams like Rejistania and Milchama in our draw was just asking for problems. When I first heard it I thought. 'Oh no you didn't' IT was just shockingly poor management. I mean every paper outlet that I had read internationally about the draw either labelled as the Group of Death or "Anything is possible". The Milchamians and Geisenfriedians, or whatever are called are to blame for this.... YOU SUCK!"

"Wow, that was Edward, first let me say that the last comment does not reflect the views of BazFM. Whatever the reasons for the losses Bazalonia no longer have the ability to Qualify for the knock out round. The last match that Bazalonia will play will be against the gnomes of Az-cz and is purely a match for pride as Az-cz is in the exact same position as Bazalonia and while certainly Bazalonia has the on paper advantage the gnomes of Az-cz will surely try to take it to the Bazalopes and break the streak of losses that they have had against our nations sporting teams."

Dazza: Hey, it's you know who here! This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE
Ricky: And I'm Ricky Pointy Stick. It's a sad and good day today, for various reasons.
Dazza: We'll get to that later.
Ricky: Hey, Dazza what are well selling today?

Dazza: Well, trendy gear. JGN World Cup trendy gear.
Ricky: For those who love their football! I'm trying to get someone to do that for cycling.
Dazza: Shirts, skirts, shorts and trousers. There's something for everyone, even burkas - yes World Cup burkas.
Ricky: Now, JGN doesn't have any models to show this stuff off, so we had to do it.

Dazza: It was easy to do the modelling!
Ricky: That's because she does modelling on the side, hard for me. Not used to all those cameras.
Dazza: You enjoyed it!
Ricky: Well, watching Dazza was fun.

Dazza: Check the JGN web site for the photos - me and Ricky show off the merchandise.
Ricky: Dazza used her son to model the boys's gear and I had to drag one of my daughters for the girl's gear
Dazza: She enjoyed it Ricky
Ricky: Anyway, JGN have world cup gear for kids, their parents and grandparents. Yes, even World Cup burkas for Moslem women. Go to the JGN web site and see what suits you. Sorry, no baby gear! Maybe later.

Dazza: I'm wearing the World Cup tank top and miniskirt, right now.
Ricky: Now, don't she look delicious!
Dazza: No no, it's yummy - that's what the kids say.
Ricky: Either way, it's naughty.

Dazza: Jeruselem played friend Nedalia today and well, won again. Close game but Jeruselem overran the Nedalian Lions TWO ONE.
Ricky: Nedalia needed the win and so did Jeruselem. Nedalia has not beaten Jeruselem in a qualifier and failed again.
Dazza: We are the 10th seed, we are expected to make the 2nd round.
Ricky: Brave Lions with two losses and they have go home.

Dazza: The Lions scored first but in the 2nd half - Jeruselem came back and score the last two goals through the leadership of Kate Bush. Big Gay All delivered the killer goal in the end.
Ricky: He's the man or was that woman?
Dazza: He likes being called bitch so it's OK Ricky
Ricky: Well Nedalia are out. Sad but Jeruselem have a chance still

Dazza: The Clans upset the Paladins in the other game!
Ricky: We'd prefer the Paladins win this game but they did not. The Clans knocked them over TWO ONE.
Dazza: If the Paladins won, we'd be more secure actually.
Ricky: Now - looking at the table - Jeruselem lead - because we're more Jewish. Jeruselem and the Clans on 4 points with the same goal record. The Paladins 3rd with one win. Nedalia with ZIP and are out.

Dazza: We play the Paladins next. All we need to is draw or win, but a loss will allow the Paladins to progress.
Ricky: If we lose to the Paladins, we can make it if Nedalia beat the Clans. If the Clans draw or win, they make it.
Dazza: If the Clans win or draw, they make - regardless of the result of the other game.
Ricky: It's simple really

Dazza: Now to Bettia.
Ricky: Yes, they are having a good time - not Dazza type good time, that's not something for TV.
Dazza: Depends on the time of day Ricky. Bettia belted Cafundeu FOUR NIL and well, have a great chance of making the 2nd round.
Ricky: Starblaydia beat Fmjphoenix FOUR TWO to help Bettia too.

Dazza: Starblaydia are through and play Bettia next. Cafundeu are eliminated and play Fmjphoenix next.
Ricky: If Bettia win or draw, they make it. If they lose they can still make it - if Fmjphoenix lose or draw.
Dazza: But if Bettia lose and Fmjphoenix wins, it's down to goal difference. Bettia is plus four and Fmjphoenix minus two at the moment.
Ricky: Bettia should make it. Unless they lose badly, the Vikings win big.

Dazza: And if it's the same goal difference, err - Bettia is more Jewish
Ricky: Good one Dazza
Dazza: That's it from the FOOTBALL LIFE
Ricky: Check out the new football gear. Something for everyone!

Dazza: Cheap prices too!
Ricky: Cheer on Jeruselem and Bettia tomorrow!

Group G
The Lowland Clans [2] New Montreal States [1]
Jeruselem [2] Nedalia [1]


---Group G---- P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
[1] Jeruselem 2 1 1 0 3-2 +1 4 *
[2] The Lowland Clans 2 1 1 0 3-2 +1 4
3- New Montreal States 2 1 0 1 3-3 +0 3
4- Nedalia 2 0 0 2 2-4 -2 0 E


* More Jewish than other team :)

Group D:
Fmjphoenix [2-4] Starblaydia
Bettia [4-0] Cafundeu


Group D G W D L P GF GA TGD
Starblaydia 2 2 0 0 6 6 2 +4
Bettia 2 1 1 0 4 7 3 +4
Fmjphoenix 2 0 1 1 1 5 7 -2
Cafundeu 2 0 0 2 0 0 6 -6

Feature article from the Bendoc (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Bendoc) Post:

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/BendocPost.png

LOCAL STAR SHINES ON INTERNATIONAL STAGE

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/lyseup.jpg

Yesterday Errinundera drew 2-all with Casari in their first round match in World Cup 32. Both potoroo goals were scored by local star, lyseup. She’s not the most spectacular or graceful player in the team but she is disciplined and knows how to find the back of the net. So far this cup, including qualifying matches, the 25 year old has scored 9 goals, equal second potoroo behind the freakish self-declared genderqueer, rosaniel. TBP managed to catch up with lyseup after the game.

TBP: It was a strange match, the way the goals were scored. Casari’s veteran forward, Nina Lehir, scored both of their goals in the first half (12th and 25th) while yours were both in the second half (52nd and 74th).

lyseup: For sure. Please forgive the cliché, but it was a game of two halves. The tigers play an old-fashioned style of football, one that we don’t encounter very often. It took us by surprise at first but we gave it some thought during the break, adjusted our style and took control of the game.

TBP: It’s interesting to note that their scorer is 32 years of age while you are 25.

lyseup: Yeah. We see them as the old guard and ourselves as the new wave. We like to think of ourselves as taking over their mantle.

TBP: There were reports that they referred to the potoroos as a “kindneyful of noone”.

lyseup: We couldn’t figure that one out. In the change rooms we were making up our own versions for them such as “midnighte sphincters” or “afternoone disappointments”. Whatever.

TBP: You play in a second division side. That’s unusual in the national squad.

lyseup: matherosperma also plays for a second division side (Sassafras Basin – ed). Both teams look like being promoted at the end of the season.

TBP: It’ll be good to see Bendoc mixing it with the big girls. Your own form has been up and down.

lyseup: That’s one area of my game I need to improve. The coaching staff tell me that, if I keep practising my drills, it will come with experience. I hope it’s true.

TBP: The injury to adicksonia was a blow to the team.

lyseup: Having four regular scorers in rosaniel, venu, adicksonia and myself made the potoroo attack very formidable. One of us usually started as a substitute or sometimes we were all on the ground together. The best defenders are always assigned to the others so I usually got the easiest ride. Having adicksonia out shifts the responsibility down the team. The guys behind me are finding it difficult stepping up to the crease. Again, it will come to them with experience.

TBP: Your nickname is “raptor”. How so? You don’t come across as ferocious.

lyseup: Don’t laugh. It’s football change room humour. My second and third toes are somewhat longer than my big toe. Sometimes I get called “the claw”. You live with it.

TBP: You were the recipient of a scholarship to the University of Rêvane in Ariddia.

lyseup: It was a magical place. I miss their beaches so much. Errinundera has nothing remotely like it. Well I suppose Cuttlefish island does but who goes there? I made many friends there and I was so disappointed that we found ourselves on the opposite of the draw in the Cup. It happened last cup too. One day I hope to go back.

TBP: What are the potoroos chances of making it to the second round?

lyeup: Here comes another cliché: it’s up to us. We are lucky in one sense: our rivals for the two slots, Bedistan and Casari, are playing each other in the last match of round one. That means if we beat Qutar we must progress. If we don’t win then Casari needs to win or draw for us to progress. Actually, if we lose and Casari loses by a large enough margin then we get there anyway. The best thing is for us to go out there and win.

TBP: Best of luck. All your fans in Bendoc are barracking for you.

lyseup: Thanks.

Team for next match:
F: rosaniel (gq, Milosis, 29, captain)
F: venu (f, Goongerah, 31, vice-captain)
F: lyseup (f, Bendoc, 25)
M: arpentek (f, Monkeytop, 28)
M: matherosperma (m, Sassafras Basin, 27)
M: este (m, Bonang, 21)
M: ysteri (f, Bonang, 22)
D: phazel (f, Ootopia, 31)
D: denticulatae (m, Goongerah, 26)
D: ragle (f, First Creek Falls, 22)
G: owiavi (gq, Deddick, 25)

Substitutes:
F: otelopea (m, Ellery Camp, 30)
F: cunégonde (f, Monkeytop, 24)
M: zirza (f, Rodger River, 24)
D: thiend (f, McKillops Bridge, 27)
G: evolu (f, McKillops Bridge, 29, deputy vice-captain)

Act 2, Scene 2 from Howard Painter's latest play, "The Reunion".

Jack: Pointless.

Jim: What is?

Jack: That pencil. Pointless.

Jim: Of course. You broke it.

[Pause.]

Jim: I'll tell you what else is pointless.

Jack: What?

Jim: Wentland.

Jack: How?

Jim: In World Cup finals.

Jack: Eh?

Jim: Reached one. Three defeats.

Jack: Oh.

[Pause]

Jim: Reached a second. Lost first game.

Jack: Oh.

[Pause]

Jack: How about second game?

Jim: On now.

Jack: Oh.

[Pause]

Jack: Shall we watch it?

Jim: Why? It's pointless.

Jack: So's that pencil.

Jim: Yes, you broke it.

Jack: Oh yes.

[Pause]

Jack: I didn't break the telly.

[Pause]

Jim: Put it on, then.

[Jack switches television on. It shows the last minute of injury time of the World Cup match between Liverpool England and Wentland. Caption in the corner says LIV 1-0 WLD.]

Jim: Told you it was pointless.

[Desultory action on screen. Jack and Jim watch. A clearance from Keith Bassett is mis-controlled by a defender and Cosmo Kent steals in.]

Jack: Here's a chance.

[Kent slides the ball under the goalkeeper. As the net bulges the camera cuts to Norman Hacker charging up the touchline in delirium as the crowd goes berserk.]

Jack: Not pointless now.

Jim: Still pointless. There's no point.

Jack: How so?

Jim: It doesn't exist.

Jack: Oh.

[Curtain]

***

Father Iosephus was chatting up various Francophone gamines at the Old Castle in Dohmen. "Yeah, I know all the team...that's Father, er, Andrew, the Fisher of Goals...number six is Father Dmitri, the, er, Stealer of Tackles..."

"Wow, Father, you know so much about the Archregimancy..."

"Yeah, we thought they were anonymous..."

"Are they? Oh, yes, forget I mentioned that...praise the Lord, we've scored..."

"Oooh...it's getting close..."

"Yes, let's hope for a miracle...come on you monkeys, er, monks..."

"Too late, it's the final whistle..."

"Oh bloody heck. Listen, do you want to see my liturgy? I give good thurifer."

"OOOHHHH!!!!!"

Twenty minutes after the full-time whistle sounded, and the streets outside the stadium were once again transformed into a veritable sea of green and gold by the thousands of Bettians who had made the short hop over Nedalia to the nearby Warrior nation. And what a jubilant sight it was too as 'Brothers of Bettia' and other such uplifting footy songs were belted out by the throngs, buoyed by their highly impressive 4-0 demolition of Cafundeu.

Watching on from their frantically-taken seats of a local street café were our venerable old duffers George and Ali, making the most of their good fortune waiting for their well-earned post-match cuppa.

"Ahhh, now this is the life, eh George?" said Ali, doing his best to ignore his young grandson as he blew his garishly-coloured plastic trumpet right in his ear whilst clutching on to his oversized Bettian flag, complete with bendy ten-foot pole.

"You said it mate," he replied. "Top quality footy, a win for the 'Roras and.... here come the refreshments!" he said, grinning broadly as his son came out onto the terrace carrying a large tray bearing a large teapot and a plate of odd-shaped cakes.

"Hmmm, those are odd-looking scones." he said as he bit hungrily into one. "And salty too! What kind of scones are these?"

"They're not scones Da, they're pretzels."

"Pretzels? Never heard of 'em."

"What you talking about Da? They sell shedloads of 'em down in the Butetown Jewish quarter. Bloody lovely things they are, Milchaman pretels. It's good to have em fresh though."

"Hmmm, I 'spose so. Maybe if they replaced the salt with sultanas... Anyway lad, got any more scores for us?"

"Let's see..." his son replied as he strained his ear to listen to his portable radio. "Aww, bugger. Looks like Nedalia are out - lost to Jerusalem."

"That IS a bugger. At least they lost to someone we like. Anything else?"

"Yup, the Blaydis won."

"That's good, ain't it?"

"I guess. It means that even if they beat our boys, we could still go through... assuming the Vikings don't win and the Blaydis don't give us a good shoeing... and if there's one thing the Blaydis are good at, it's giving us a good shoeing."

"Oh shite. Ah well, at least these Milchaman scones are nice..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 3-3 Alasdair I Frosticus http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/alasdair_i_frosticus.png

Historic match a “symbolic” but disappointing tie

Watch (http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/4724/pinafootball2nz2.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

The Rouge-et-Noirs have played Alasadair I Frosticus for the first time in over three decades, a much awaited match which ended in a somewhat disappointing draw.

With three goals for each side, it was anything but boring… but very nerve wracking.

Hanifah Kyaw – the Ariddian team captain, who scored the first goal of the match in the thirty-eighth minute – said playing against the Frosticans had been “extremely interesting” and “something I’d been looking forward to for a very long time”.

As had many of her compatriots.

“Some of their players are living legends… literally! It was quite amazing.”

The quality of the Frostican play was revealed by the fact they were able to get three goals past Xavier Xu. The tall, thin Asian Ariddian is considered one of the best goalkeepers the country has ever produced.

On the Ariddian side, Nathalie Simon gave her team a 2-0 lead before the Frosticans levelled the score. Kyaw scored again, and again an equaliser shattered Ariddian hopes.

“Now we’ve absolutely got to beat Krytenia. Far more easily said than done.”

Meanwhile, Ariddians have been impressed by Errinundrian performances. The potoroos are currently in a position to advance, after drawing against Casari and smashing Bedistan (along with all predictions).

Ariddians have reacted with mild curiosity to revelations about rosaniel’s biological “gender”.

“Que is one of the hottest – and nicest – people I’ve ever met, in any case” Eo La said, to nods by his team mate Cassie Lee.

The Schiavone Scribe
Alfredo Death Overshadows Defeat

News of Schiavonia's defeat to Cuation was overshadowed last night by the passing away of the chief of the SFF Harvey Alfredo. He was 87.

Mr Alfredo died after the excitement of Schiavonias three-two defeat to Cuation caused a cardiac arrest. Paramedics pronounced him dead on their arrival.

Alfredo took over the SFF after being part of Schiavonia's stalled attempts to bring the Olympics to Kingsbury. Indeed, it is thought that Alfredo's move from te bid was what halted it, thus meaning no Olympics for the Forty-Six Islands.

Alfredo dragged the SFF out ofthe scandals brought on by former incumbant Michael Ford, who seemed intent on insulting every nation under the sun during his tenure, resulting on his arrest in Liverpool England. Alfredo rescued the SFF and turned them into the friendly organisation they are today, as well as heading te organising committee of World Cup 30.

However, in the last year or so, Alfredo's age has been seen to be catching up with him. At one point, he even wrote to the organisers of The League of The League, claiming that Schiavone club Melston Rovers had failed to fulfil a single fixture for the season, despite the team finishing fourth.

"This is very sad news," said Sloths assistant manager Tony Tarmey upon hearing the news, "What Harvey did for the reputation of our sport in our country cannot be underestimated. And he went in a way he would have wanted, supporting the boys until the end."

The Sloths will now attempt to qualify in memory of Alfredo by beating hosts Geisenfried on Sunday.

There, they had arrived in Wickert, the Ha Hachamut had the place surrounded the place, Intel had confirmed that people where in there and now it was time for the strike however. James said "I'm going in... alone. You'll know the signal to enter when I make it." This confused the Milchamians from their point of view James was just an FA president and had very little experience. Despite this James pulled the "I'm the guy that BSIS sent so get over it" card.

Anyway he crept in... through a window somehow sill managing to do it stealthily. The area was empty there was a door however and there was sound, voices and general noises eminating from through the door managing to peek into the room seemingly unnoticed he glimpsed a number of rockets undergoing final preperations.

A door opened unexpectidly... a man walked out towards James with a smile on his face. "So James, finally I get to know your real name." he said. "Charles" James hissed. "I knew they would send you, associate something to the World Cup and who else would they send but the one Bazalonian trained in espionage and the World Cup."

"It hasn't been long enough.. Charles"

"Aww, come on we were best friends in training, it's a reunion. Aren't you happy to see your old mate again?" Charles said

"You stopped being my mate a long time ago, Charles."

"Aww come on. I especialy planed this to see you again, I don't even want to start a war between Bazalonia and Milchama. I just wanted to see you again."

All the meanwhile the people working with the missiles oblivious to the discussion going on here.

"So why do you want me here?"

"For you to die!" he said as he tapped a button in his copat pocket that was previously hidden, the missiles in the next room exploded, destroying all those that worked on it and destroying a large portion of the building. James was knocked to the ground by the explosition... When he came to he was in a local Milchamian hospital, they wanted to know what happened. "It was a trap, he wanted to get me." was all that James could say before passing out again in the hospital.

Caesar Falls; Et Tu, Bedistan?

GOOD news for those hoping the Krytenian journey is to continue: the Aces emerged from a real ding-dong of a battle against Northern Caesaria with three points. With Ariddia and Alasdair I Frosticus bludgeoning themselves to a standstill (bloody pensioners - Ed) it leaves Krytenia in the fantastic position of being through to the next round with a game to spare.

Not so, however, to our friends in the north. Poor Bedistan, in their final World Cup appearance, have looked shaky in both their games so far. The loss to Errinundera was followed by a less than convincing win against Qutar. With them now sitting third in their group, and a match against Casari to come, their swansong is in danger of sounding a little off-key.

Meanwhile, the grey suits at KFA Headquarters remain tight-lipped over the future of the men in sky blue. As the top brass flip and flop more than a dolphin on high-grade cocaine, the poor fans protest vehemently, hoping for a place in the next tournament.

We're beginning to get the urge to join them.

[OOC - finally back in Melbourne; I wouldn't wish a 30 hour trip from Washington DC to Melbourne via Korea on any of you. It also seems to have made me miss the first two match days....]

THE MONASTIC TIMES

GREAT PILGRIMAGE ENDS
Nation Finally Turns Attention To World Cup - Too Late?

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

With the Fourth Finding of the Head of St. John the Forerunner, the Great Pilgrimage of the Archregimancy, an event so distracting that former Wentland citizen Fr. Iosephus is the only travelling supporter at Archregimancy matches, has come to an end.

Monastic football fans around the nation have, alas, come to the realisation that despite a highly successful qualification campaign that saw the Archregimancy top their group ahead of Starblaydia, the tournament's top team of anonymous Orthodox monks are in serious danger of being knocked out of the tournament proper following a 3-3 draw with Commerce Heights and a dramatic 3-2 loss to Oliverry.

"It's not scoring goals that's been the problem, it's been keeping them out" said team coach Fr. David the Water Drinker before expressing his deep regret at not being personally present at the Fourth Finding due to World Cup commitments.

Meanwhile, the MFA published a message thanking the recently converted Fr. Iosephus, not just for his discovery of the Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites the Younger, but for his "fervent, almost prayerful" support of the Archregimancy squad in Geisenfried. "It's true that recent converts are sometimes even more Orthodox than born-Orthodox" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity "but this young monk has shown extraordinary dedication to the cause, often to the point of finding himself the sole Archregimancy supporter sitting in the middle of an otherwise 20,000-strong block of seats."

Back in Ordinary Reality, tournament organisers are said to have been criticised by some for the number of empty seats at Archregimancy matches. "Zey should 'ave foreseen, zis, qu'est-ce que c'est... comment dit-on 'Grand Pelegrinage' en Anglais? Oui c'est ca... Zey should 'ave foreseen zis 'Grand Pilgrimage' zey were 'aving in ze Archregimance. Truly, I am outraged" said a disgruntled and ticketless Oliverry supporter disappointed at being refused entry to his nations' victory over the Orthodox.

Yet all is not lost. A simple victory for the Archregimancy over Vilita in the final group match - by whatever score - should see the monks narrowly qualify for the second stage on either goal difference or goals scored. Monks across the nation are, tonight, venerating with particular fervour the Holy Icon of the Mother of God, Bringer of Victories.

[OOC - just a quick note... there are Archregimancy and Alasdair I Frosticus rosters in the roster thread. They were added very late, and our hosts haven't added links to those rosters, but they're there. Just for the record, both teams are fielding anonymous XIs this World Cup]

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

OUTRAGEOUSLY LUCKY CAMPAIGN CONTINUES
Holy Empire Can Still Qualify For Second Round

By Anna Comneno

The Dream Vortex interfering with our communications to Ordinary Reality has finally ended, and sport fans.... In a continuation of what must surely be one of the luckiest recent World Cup campaigns - Quakmybush's first two qualifications possibly excepted - the Holy Empire still stands a chance of reaching the second round.

In what would be one of the most stupendously undeserving footballing feats of recent times, a victory for the Holy Empire over fellow minnows Northern Caesarea, coupled with a Krytenia victory over Ariddia might well see the Imperials through - provided one of those matches has at least a two goal margin of victory. Unlikely? Perhaps, but stranger things have happened this World Cup, such as our glorious nation qualifying for the finals proper in the first place.

An unexpectedly narrow 1-0 loss to Kytenia, followed by a fluke 3-3 draw with Arridia in the 'old codgers' match, has left the Holy Empire in this ludicrous final match position.

Recordings of the Ariddia - Holy Empire match have now been made available to Imperial news media following the end of the Dream Vortex. Despite Arridian Nathalie Simon giving the red and blacks an early 2-0 lead, a lucky wind-assisted goal straight from the corner from our anonymous number 10, followed by an equally lucky goal by our anonymous number 8 - scored after a free kick took an extraordinary deflection off the Ariddian wall - allowed the Imperial Squad to pull back to 2-2. Ariddian captain Kyaw scored a brilliant 87th minute goal to apparently give his team the win, only for the luckiest goal of the day: the anonymous Imperial number 2 sent a desperate long pass forward in the dying moments of regulation time, only for the ball to hit a large divot on the edge of the penalty area, causing it to gently loop over the head of a despairing Xu.

Team coach Juan Tzimisces - who played in the very first World Cup in Ariddia - was said to be crediting the anonymous starting XI strategy recently copied from the Archregimancy for the draw, but even the most fanatical Imperial supporter surely cannot be blind to the outrageous luck that has followed the team through qualification into the tournament proper.

Meanwhile, Holy Empire Football Association officials are refusing to deny rumours that the first two World Cup hosts have had secret preliminary discussions over a possible joint Holy Empire-Ariddia bid to co-host World Cup 35.

Me-Adu was sitting in his 3rd year Japanese class and the teacher had given them the chance to free talk, so he turned to his friend Takeru and started to talk.

”昨日の試合見た？”

”ううん。忙しかった。”

”大変だったよ。レフェリーは馬鹿だったよ。”

”なんで？”

”色々。レジスタニアのハンドボールもオフサイドも気をしてなかった。ピズカッズロブスキのレッドカードも不公平だったよ。腹立っていた。今進むは無理。”

”残念でも僕はいいニュースあるよ....."

And here's the translation:

Me-Adu: Did you see last night's game?

Takeru: No, I was busy.

Me-Adu: Man it was awful. The referee's a moron.

Takeru: Why?

Me-Adu: Various reasons. Rejistania's offsides and hand ball went uncalled. And Pizelkaxrovsky's red card was totally unfair. It pissed me off. Now we can't advance.

Takeru: That's too bad, but I have some big news....

Amda-Mo: And thus puts an end to the Az-cz run in world cup 32, with a tough 2-1 loss to Rejistania.

Lur-Mn: Certainly it hurts to be eliminated after two matches considering our great qualifying run, but we knew we were facing a tough challenge.

Amda-Mo: Clearly today's match was very controversial, with many saying the refs were biased towards Rejistania.

Lur-Mn: I don't believe so. They were poor to be sure. But not biased. It just happened that the most important calls they missed went against us, but they also did miss calls in our favor.

Amda-Mo: What about Pizelkaxrovsky's red card?

Lur-Mn: It's not a huge suprise. It might have been a bit harsh, but he certainly was out of line for berating the ref like that. It was just a stupid loss of control on his part.

Amda-Mo: So you don't hold the refs responsible for this?

Lur-Mn: No. It was still 1-1 when the refs missed the Rejistania handball in their own box. Even without that we still could've easily won, but Pizelkaxrovsky flipped out and really hurt his team.

Amda-Mo: There have been some rumors that the coaches might be in trouble after this. Any truth to that?

Lur-Mn: No. They've done a stellar job. Two losses to great teams in the cup is disappointing but hardly shocking. We knew it would be tough.

Amda-Mo: Looking ahead to the Bazalonia game, without Pizelkaxrovsky what will the team do?

Lur-Mn: Expect a drastically different lineup. I'd expect the team to go young to look at up and comers for next cup, but do something to honor the players expected to retire.

Amda-Mo: Who would that be?

Lur-Mn: Ml-Dni for sure. Ns-Ta probably. Maybe Bub-Rub. It's hard to say really.

Amda-Mo: Looking around the rest of the cup, what else sticks out at you.

Lur-Mn: The most suprising is that Errinundera looks set to qualify instead of either Bedistan or Casari. Other than that not a lot of big suprises going on. Small ones like Oliverry and the Archregimancy struggling, but nothing ground shaking.

Amda-Mo: Ok. That's it for tonight. The Gnomes just have one more game. It's academic for advancement, but it's a chance to end on a high note and beat a rival from Atlantian Oceania, so there will still be some intrigue as they face off against Bazalonia.

Must Win

Theoretically, it is possible for Squornshelous to advance on a draw, but a disturbing amount of circumstances regarding Group B's other match have to all come true, and that would mean depending on Wentland to win, which we all know, is very unwise.

Let's go back a bit and review. Squornshelous blew it, big time. After an easy 2-0 win over Wentland in our first group stage match, we dropped our second 2-1 to Quakmybush, leaving us precariously perched at second in the group on goal differential, and facing Liverpool England in our final match. One of us is going home, and one of us is going on, unless Wentland gets their collective "stuff" together. Quakmybush will move to 6 points with a win, and only one of us can move on with them. Squornshelous is on the short side of the equation, needing a win to move on, while Liverpool England secures their spot in the knockout rounds with either a win or draw.

Now, Squornshelous has been strangely unsuccessful against Liverpool England of late, losing to the Terminators 3 straight times, in World Cups 27 (3-2 semi), 28 (1-3 2nd rd.) and 30 (2-2, 6-5PK Qtr). We haven't beaten them since World Cup 25 (2-1 2nd rd). The Pschychoes will have to focus and not get caught up in pregame hype to win this one.

Cuation Leave It Late

First our condolences to the nation of Schiavonia for the tragic loss of the highly respected Harvey Alfredo. Anyone who remembers his predecessor Ford will know what a good job he has done for the sporting world. He will be greatly missed by all who knew him and by those who knew of his work.

Onto the football, Cuation managed a shock win after a humiliating loss on the opening day; this leaves Cuation with an outside chance of finishing top of the group and a decent win of going onto the knock outs. Cuation can get away with a draw if results got their way but a win over bottom Spruitland would send Cuation through.

The game was end to end with Schiavonia the slightly better side but Cuation's defence looks leaky, a lack of pace in the centre may be to blame but Jude has conceded six in two games though only one was his fault. A clean sheet is needed as Cuation can not expect to keep scoring when playing a 5-4-1.

Schiavonia started the better side but could not find the back of the net, Arran Di Chula came closest when he muscled his way clear but pulled the ball wide of goal. It was a surprise when Cuation scored the first, Bird conceding a silly free kick just inside his own half. Downing attempted to find the run of Lu Fei but over hit the ball, Howard had hesitated in his dive because of that run and was unable to prevent a fluke goal.

Lewish had a long ranger easily saved and Fallen curled a free kick over before Schiavonia took control of the game again. Jude will not thank Lewish for a poor cross field pass that Blige expertly controlled and then volleyed into the top corner from outside the box.

1-1 at half time but it didn't stay that way for long, a long ball caused all sorts of confusion as Jude started to come then left it to Cheese who hesitated. Chester didn't wait, smashing the ball first time into an unguarded net. A soft goal to give away by anyone's standards, amazingly bad at a world cup.

Cuation soon found themselves under siege as Schiavonia looked to make the game safe. Jude made an amazing save when he tipped over Caine's curling freekick and often cleared the lines as Cuation was unable to get out of their own box.

The manager brought on Speedy for Downing and pushed things to a 5-2-3 formation. It worked as Cuation started finding space to launch counter attacks, Lu Fei heading one Speedy cross to the floor only for Howard to tip the effort onto the bar. As time went on, Irwin was replaced by Rual Mendiz and the formation changed altered between 4-2-4 and 2-4-4.

In the 75th minute, Jude claimed a cross and threw it out for Lewish to race past the half way line. The right winger faked going out wide but cut inside, taking out E. Fielding and then smashing the ball low towards goal. The pace was just a little too much and despite getting his fingers too it, Howard could not prevent the equaliser.

Cuation had drawn level, perhaps a little undeservedly and seemed content with that as Schiavonia pushed for the winner. It did seem though that the giants had lost the spark and Jude's goal was never really threatened. Indeed, it was Cuation that won the game in injury time, a long clearance flicked on by Lu Fei for Rual to chase after and then slide the ball past the advancing keeper.

A good game full of attacking football but Schiavonia will wonder how they failed to win the game that they so dominated. Both sides can qualify and both sides will look for a win on the final day but has Schiavonia been knocked off their stride? Can Cuation cope with the amazing pressure and up their performance?

"You know, compared to the last World Cup, this one was pretty tame." Maria said.

"... I got shot at, you know." David muttered.

"Yeah, but that was a while ago. It's still pretty tame."

"... Yeah, except I got shot at. And we blew up a bus."

Maria shrugged. "Pfft. It's much more boring this time."

"So killing people does not a fascinating World Cup experience?"

"Pfft. Not during qualifying, anyways. If you want to kill someone, you need to kill them when it matters, in the big show."

"You work in the media department! You're not supposed to say when we kill people, that's my job. Your job is to spin it so we always look good." David said, shaking his head.

"You know what would look better? Say, not killing people."

"Ack. Shouldn't you be catering to the media or something like that? Writing press releases where we don't blame the referees for anything that goes wrong in order to sound respectable or something like that?"

"Nope. Like everyone else at the CSA, I have literally nothing better to do than get involved in amusing or not amusing storylines for the sake of humor."

David blinked. "Yeah, now that you mention it, I don't do that much either."

"You think you'd notice that."

"But who does all the work? We quite clearly don't do any of it."

"Meh, maybe it's better not finding out." Maria said.

"How so?"

"Well, if we do look, we're going to find something. And then people will be asking why we're looking for it, which will make it seem like we're not doing anything ourselves-"

"Which we don't."

"-but in that case, they'll begin wondering why we're still around, have us sacked, and then we'll have to do real, actual work."

"... you know, that makes a lot of sense."

"Someone around here has to try."

The Daily Quak
A Win And Your In

The Quakmybush National Soccer Team now controls their own destiny in the World Cup. We will get to that later, but first, the Sharks last match. They took on World Number 1 Squornshelous. The Sharks were ready to play. Andrew Plett found the back of the net on a wonderful pass from Jon Fields to give Quakmybush a 1-0 advantage. The Sharks then almost made it 2-0 when Cory Sorley rang a shot off the post. The opposing Squornshelous team was clearly getting frustrated. They kept taking stupid fouls and making bad passes. The score at the end of the first half was 1-0 for Quakmybush. The Pschyoes came out in the second half ready to play. Igor Khabarov broke past the Quakmybush defense and beat an outstretched Cam Carroll, to make it 1-1. Then, Khabarov broke through the defense again, however Cam Carroll robbed him. The Sharks counter attacked of the save and Jon Fields found a wide open Cory Sorley who tapped the ball into the back of the net. The Sharks won the game 2-1. Now, for qualification, if the Sharks defeat Wentland, they will advance. If the Sharks tie, Liverpool England would have to win, or Squornshelous would have to beat Liverpool England by one, if Quakmybush scores more goals in their match, or by two if Quakmybush does not score more goals than Liverpool England. If Quakmybush loses, they will be out.

Quakmybush - 2
Plett 15' Sorley 78'

Sqournshelous - 1
Khabarov 56'

Goal Scorers
Sorley - 2
Fields, Plett - 1

Article By: Rick Juras

RP Cutoff groups E-H.

Sorry about the early cutoff.

Konigseifert Chronicle
Neither a Step Forward Nor Back
A 3-3 Spruitland leaves Geisenfried on top, yet still not safe

After completely crushing Cuation in the first round, Geisenfried welcomed Spruitland in the capital, hoping to seal the deal along with a Schiavonia win over Cuation. It didn't work out that way. Cuation shocked Schiavonia 3-2, which in itself may have caused the overworking of the heart of SFF Chief Harvey Alfredo, who was reported dead soon after the match. Meanwhile, Geisenfried dodged a loss, but couldn't secure a win over Spruitland as the game went 3-3.

In contrast to the quick starting game against Cuation, the game against Spruitland started off rather slowly, with neither team able to get the advantage early. However, a foul in the 27th minute gave Spruitland a free kick deep in Geisenfried territory, and Spruitland gave itself an early lead when Fredje Cartwiel converted the opportunity into a goal off the free kick with a long shot that got past Karl Hettich's outstretched reach. That goal awoke the Geisenfried, who now felt the pressure of being down. The veteran captain took the pressure in stride, and 8 minutes later, he found his chance and drilled past Tristan Verelst, making it 1-1. As the first half came to a close, a Geisenfried offensive came together, and Wolfgang Genz rushed through to make it 2-1 at the half. The second half reset the pace to one similar to the beginning, and once again, Spruitland would disturb the silence when Kloots took a pass and made it 2-2. Around 10 minutes later, Geisenfried would get ahead again when Muehlbauer made a long shot that got away from Verelst for 3-2. Desperate not to get eliminated, Spruitland put in everything in one last offensive, resulting in Oppergodt equalizing it back to 3-3, where it would finish.

Geisenfried: 3
(Wolfe 35', Genz 44', Muehlbauer 72')
Spruitland: 3
(Cartwiel 27', Kloots 63', Oppergodt 81')

Group E G W D L P GF GA TGD
Geisenfried 2 1 1 0 4 7 4 +3
Schiavonia 2 1 0 1 3 4 4 +0
Cuation 2 1 0 1 3 4 6 -2
Spruitland 2 0 1 1 1 4 5 -1

Geisenfried now takes on Schiavonia in the last game to see who heads on into the next round. A win or a draw for Geisenfried gets them in. They can lose and still stay, as long as Spruitland wins but can't make up the 4 goal difference. Schiavonia must win to get in automatically, or draw and hope that Cuation and Spruitland draw, or that Spruitland wins by only 1 goal difference and ends up scoring fewer or equal goals than Schiavonia. A loss eliminates them. Cuation can get in with a win, or a draw and a Schiavone loss. A loss eliminates them as well. Spruitland needs Schiavonia to lose and to defeat Cuation, a Schiavonia draw and a 2 or more goal victory or a Geisenfried loss and a victory over Cuation while overcoming the 4 goal difference.

Hi Netizens,

I am the sekhikablogger's girlfriend, the Lentine, so to say, after this match, he exaggerated and is now in hospital due to alcohol poisoning! one of the glasses of hooch must have been bad! I am not particularily verbally skilled, so I just update quickly:

It's a shame what they say about this situation involving Lyku, it was clearly NO handball. trying to regain balance and hitting the ball with the elbow is no intentional handball. I was really unimpressed about Aia. There could have been more intelligent ideas to substitute. The referee was a crackhead, an @$$h013 and blind as the night! This referee, VASDEFERENTU, he should never been allowed out of Errinundera. He sure had a crappy day. He wasn't even biased, just crappy. Like Mekhit Tala having one of those days and costing TAHAI! goals and points (yes, the Relekhati still pisses me off). The goal of Syku Lyku was great!

The Orange-Blues despite having one game to go, are basically through. For once, the series of disgraces was stopped.

World Cup MD03 RP Cutoff

Milchama Group MD03 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12230370&postcount=29)
Geisenfried Group MD03 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12229844&postcount=28)

Knockouts (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12230388&postcount=30)

Dear Diary,

The potoroos have made it to the second round. Woohoo! And, finished on top of their group with an exciting 4-3 win over The Islands of Qutar. And, with 9 goals, had the most potent attack in the Geisenfried half of the draw. The only teams to match us were in the Milchama half: Ariddia, Bettia, Milchama and Starblaydia. What glorious company to find ourselves amongst. Only Rejistania scored more – 10 – and they’re easybeats.

But it gets even better. We are going to play Jeruselem in the second round. The legendary Jeruselem! The P.I.N.A. broadcast of the The Football Life is mandatory viewing back home in Errinundera. Not as good as the old Lemmitania commentaries from many years ago, though, but still compelling. (I listened to an old recording of Clem and the guys the other day and was rolling on the floor.)

rippersticku (aka Ricky Pointy Stick) fans in Errinundera will be thrilled to bits. He is the biggest sex symbol in the country amongst women and genderqueers, especially since rosaniel’s reputation took a bit of a dive recently. (Mind you, rosaniel is still number 1 for men). It’s odd in a way because there are no roads in Errinundera, only muddy tracks. No roads equals no bicycles.

He is a potent force for harmony. Recently, the unpopular advertising agency, Unfair Advantage Ltd, made some extremely inflammatory public statements and it looked like their headquarters were about to be torched. They saved the building by draping huge banners of rippersticku and rosaniel all around it. It didn’t help them much: they were bankrupted a month later.

Oddly enough his female co-commentator is ho-hum in Errinundera. We prefer a much earthier form of sexuality than dadallas's show-business fakery.

Anyway, back to the World Cup. The host nation, Geisenfried, doesn’t make sense. It’s described by the UN as democratic socialist yet it’s ruled by an hereditary monarch. They need to do what we did: defenestrate the entire royal family and become proper socialists. Not that I’m advocating violence or anything. Well, actually I am. I hope zenoida doesn’t ever read this. I checked out their Utopia rating from the University for the Global Environment website. They scored a mediocre 48. “Insufficient attention to the environment” was the site’s comment. I noticed that Errinundera has been upgraded to 88 with the comment, “Could do even better on civil freedoms”.

The match itself was sensational. lyseup had another brilliant game, adding another 2 goals to her tally. The lead see-sawed throughout the game before the potoroos prevailed 4-3:

6th minute: 0-1 (The Islands of Qutar)
15th: 1-1 (rosaniel)
17th: 2-1 (lyseup)
30th: 2-2 (The Islands of Qutar)
78th: 2-3 (The Islands of Qutar)
80th: 3-3 (otelopea)
85th: 4-3 (lyseup)

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Football1a.jpg
lyseup celebrates her winning goal

The match demonstrated yet again the potoroos’ amazing penchant for scoring within minutes of a kick-off, regardless of which team is kicking off. It also shows their ability to rip games apart in short, devastating bursts. 5 minutes early in the first half and another 5 minutes late in the match won it for them.

It was good to see otelopea score a goal. He’s had a dreadful season and has become a regular substitute. He replaced an ineffectual venu late in the game and his freshness may have been the telling factor.

I read that there has been some whingeing about the refereeing of vasdeferentu in the Rejistania - gnomes match. Apparently he “overlooked” a Rejistani handball and then red-carded the irate gnome, Pizelkaxrovsky. I'm a bit surprised. Normally the "gism pipe" (as he is nicknamed) favours the attacking team, whoever it is. A handball in the box is something he loves to call. Mind you, he does come down heavily on dissent. Sounds like he really did have a bad day.

I also read somewhere that Errinundera will have moved into the top 20 of the KPB rankings for World Cup 33. If so, it means that the potoroos will probably be the second seeded team in their qualifying group instead of third. The way qualifying has worked in the past, this will assist us enormously. Mind you, there are some pretty weird proposals for next cup. We shall have to wait and see.

Cup goalkickers so far:
21 rosaniel (3 in the proper)
11 lyseup (4)
9 venu (1)
8 addicksonia
3 otelopea (1)
2 cunégonde
1 arpentek
1 carltu
1 zenoida

The team for the 2nd round match against Jeruselem:
F: rosaniel (gq, Milosis, 29, captain)
F: otelopea (m, Ellery Camp, 30)
F: lyseup (f, Bendoc, 25)
M: arpentek (f, Monkeytop, 28)
M: matherosperma (m, Sassafras Basin, 27)
M: zirza (f, Rodger River, 24)
M: este (m, Bonang, 22)
D: phazel (f, Ootopia, 31)
D: thiend (f, McKillops Bridge, 27)
D: denticulatae (m, Goongerah, 26)
G: evolu (f, McKillops Bridge, 29, deputy vice-captain)

Substitutes:
F: venu (f, Goongerah, 31, vice-captain)
F: cunégonde (f, Monkeytop, 24)
M: ysteri (f, Bonang, 22)
D: motucku (f, Wulgulmerang, 28)
G: owiavi (gq, Deddick, 25)

Yours sincerely


mckennap
Footman to the potoroos

<Man with a smile and Dazza Dallas dancing around>

Ricky: This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE, and I'm Ricky Pointy Stick. That's Dazza Dallas dancing around.
Dazza: Oh yeah baby! (kisses Ricky)
Ricky: As you can see, she's just really happy. Why let Dazza tell you.
Dazza: We made the 2nd round, oh yeah. w00t!

Ricky: Actually, we've made the 2nd round since World Cup 26 - only failing in 29. Yes, a good day. My other home Nedalia didn't make but Jeruselem did.
Dazza: Jeruselem took on New Montreal States. We needed the win and so did the Paladins. We showed why we are 10th seed - and won convincingly.
Ricky: In the end, no repeat of World Cup 29 - we smashed the Paladins THREE NIL.
Dazza: My World Cup XXX team were good but can Kate's team do better?

Ricky: Oh yes, this team have not lost a game yet. The benchmark is Dazza's XXX team which made the quarterfinals but lost to Starblaydia. The question is can this team without Dazza do better? The looks of it, yes but we have a hurdle. It's not the Paladins, the Clans or the Nedalian Lions now.
Dazza: Any three nil win over Paladins is good as they are a class team. Sadly for them, no 2nd round game.
Ricky: The Lowland Clans smashed my Nedalian lions FOUR NIL so the Lions don't even go home with a point in the qualifiers. At least they made it!
Dazza: Poor Lions, but not to worry. Making the top 32 is celebration enough.

Ricky: Describe the games? Just watch them on JGN! We don't want to spoilt the tension. Both good games but Jeruselem are fighting on.
Dazza: Now to Bettia!
Ricky: Good news for Bettians
Dazza: They join us in the 2nd round.

Ricky: Bettia lost to Starblaydians THREE TWO but then Jeruselem hasn't beaten the Starblaydians either. This result was kinda expected.
Dazza: The other game was critical as the Vikings expected the Bettians to loose. Cafundeu played Fmjphoenix, and Fmjphoenix needed the win. Anything else was not an option.
Ricky: Cafundeu did the Bettians a favour and held the Vikings to a 1 ALL draw. So, Nedalians can celebrate Jeruselem and Bettia making the 2nd round.
Dazza: Too bad Nedalia was in the same group as us, we knocked them out but he had to as we drew with the Lowland Clans who had the same record as us. Two wins and a draw.

Ricky: So who is our 2nd round opponent?
Dazza: Errinundera! No, not Bedistan, Starblaydia or Casari. I'm happy!
Ricky: Well, it was not Starblaydia - that's all that counts.
Dazza: Never played them before so we will looking at all their games in detail. If we did, it was not in game like this. We will study the Errinundera very closely and they will be looking at the Jeruselem team too.

Ricky: Bettia take on Arridia! We like Arridia but we must support Bettia here.
Dazza: Nedalian fans - deck out in Bettia colours or Jeruselem colours if you are at our games.
Ricky: Yes, let the Jeruselem and Bettians march into the final. That would be nice!
Dazza: Wish I was playing, but I can't.

Ricky: Kate Bush is doing a great job. It's a pity she's retiring.
Dazza: She wants to have a better family life. And that means YAP YAP
Ricky: When we talk CRAP
Dazza: People do watch it for that too!

Ricky: Dazza's dolls are selling very well.
Dazza: Ricky got a few for his young daughters too. Good man!
Ricky: Didn't have much choice either
Dazza: They'll be Dazza Doll accessory packs coming soon! Yes, Dazza dolls ready for the football field, doing the FOOTBALL LIFE or just partying and other fun things.

Ricky: Any underwear supplied?
Dazza: Optional! Like the real thing!
Ricky: I was wondering why
Dazza: Well, that's it from the FOOTBALL LIFE. See you when we take on Errinundera. If we win, hey - we could take on the big boys.

Ricky: Good night!

Group G
New Montreal States [0] Jeruselem [3]
Nedalia [0] The Lowland Clans [4]

Group D:
Starblaydia [3-2] Bettia
Cafundeu [1-1] Fmjphoenix

Milchama Group
Ariddia v Bettia

Geisenfried Group
Errinundera v Jeruselem @ Mueller Football Stadium

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/krytenia.png Krytenia 2-3 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

Onward to the next round

Watch ( http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1856/pinawc32ao7.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

Even the narrowest victory would have been enough to see the Rouge-et-Noirs through to the next round… and that is exactly what they delivered.

Krytenia was never going to be an easy opponent. The second best team in the world was ready to take on n°9, in what promised to be a thrilling match.

Keen to establish an early lead, Krytenia scored the opening goal through Jermaine Orange in the thirty-fifth minute, holding that lead through the remainder of the first half and strengthening it in the fifty-sixth minute. The Rouge-et-Noirs had had a few narrowly missed opportunities, thwarted by the skill of Krytenia’s defence and goalkeeper Simon Barradez, but did not lose their focus.

Reminding viewers of the age-old adage “it ain’t over til it’s over”, the Ariddians came back spectacularly, consolidating their defence and scoring three goals in rapid succession: Tadjou Senaya (67’), Trevor Komu (72’) and Dave Rider (76’), taking the lead and propelling themselves into the next round. Krytenia also qualified, in second place; edging out the Frosticans… who would have needed a crushing Ariddian defeat in order to advance.

The big match will be the quarter final. The Rouge-et-Noirs have spent three decades trying in vain to reach the semis, and live up to the reputation of their predecessors from the days of World Cup 10.

The team have congratulated the Errinundrians for qualifying top of their group. And there was a buzz of rumours when Ariddian third goalkeeper Cassie Lee made what might have been a slip of the tongue.

Lee (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Cassie_Lee), the only member of the team to be related to foreign royalty, was replying (via the media) to supporters who have expressed disappointment at not having seen her play a match with the Rouge-et-Noirs yet.

“I’m only the third goalie,” Lee pointed out reasonably. “And Xavier [Xu] is doing an excellent job.”

She then talked about Errinundera, where she was honoured to receive training for a year. She greeted all Errinundrian viewers cheerily, and went on,

“I made a lot of friends in Errinundera. I’d love to go back there. I really fell in love in… with Errinundera.”

What appears to have been a slip of the tongue has sparked rumours, which Ms. Lee has not commented on.

Me-Adu was sitting at lunch with a bunch of his friends at one of the Meaty Joe's Seafood shacks that got built after the world cup in Vilita.

He turned to his friends and said "You guys catch the game last night?"

Takeru turned to him and so, no way man I had a date with "Bobi-Jo last night. I'm not gonna stay home and watch football over that."

"How bout you Ko-La?"

"Forget that man. A bunch of us got together and played Capture the Flag last night. Hl-Mn and Ab-Cd were there too."

"Jo-Ro?"

"Nope, sorry. I had family commitments?"

"You didn't catch it, did you Ma-Ro?"

"No some of us were getting our game on last night. We had drunter und druber, phantoms of the ice and Detroit-Cleveland Grand Prix out. It was a blast."

Hl-Mn piped up "Who cares? We were eliminated against Rejistania and so were the 'lopes."

Me-Adu half glared back at him. "Dude we made history last night. We finally went up against the Bazalonians and didn't lose. Alright we didn't win either, but it's progress at least."

"Well we didn't miss much did we. The backups playing Bazalonia to a 0-0 draw is not exciting. Look we enjoy soccer and we'll watch the finals, but we're not gonna watch every match man."

The Daily Quak
History Is Made

The Quakmybush National Soccer Team made history last night the team defeated Wentland 1-0. The Sharks came out ready to play as they controlled the ball for almost 85% of the first half. However they could not solve Crash Robinson, the Wentland keeper. However, early in the second half Jon Fields took a shot from the top of the box and it found the top corner to make it 1-0 Quakmybush. In a last ditch effort from Wentland, Lennie Newton came and shot from inside the box, however Cam Carroll made a wonderful save to preserve the lead and the win.

Quakmybush - 1
Fields 57'

Wentland - 0
None

With the win, the Sharks will advance to the second round of the World Cup for the first time in National Team History. They will take on a Rejistanian side that game off a perfect Group Stage in what will be an extremely good match.

We caught up with Coach/Defender Greg Hughes. "Greg, how does it feel to advance to the second round?"

"Well, it feels great, all we have to do now is focus on the Rejistanian match, we have played these guys 5 times and the record isn't exactly flattering."

"What is the record?"

"It's 1 win, 1 Draw, and 3 Losses, with 10 Goals For and 13 Against."


"Well, thank you for the your time and good luck in the match."

[ooc: this was going to be a dramatic late comeback from two goals down, but since Ariddia's already done that this round....]

THE MONASTIC TIMES

ARCHREGIMANCY REACHES SECOND ROUND
Orthodox Cling On as Vilita Comeback Controversially Falls Short

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

In dramatic scenes at the Wilhelm Romm stadium last night, the Archregimancy qualified for the second round of the World Cup after a late Vilita comeback fell short, despite controversy over a re-taken penalty in injury time.

The tournament's best team of footballing Orthodox monks raced to an early lead over the Vilitans thanks to a hattrick from the anonymous number 10 inside the first 20 minutes. Vilita looked finished, and as wave after wave of God-fearing attacks washed over the heathen* defence, the Archregimancy could easily have scored six.

Yet the Lord is quick to test those who would not show sufficient humility, and Vilita came out a transformed team in the second half - though a change of formation may have helped too. They clawed their first goal back in the 56th minute, and scored a second in the 67th. This time it was the Archregimancy's turn to cling on, as the Orthodox desperately tried to hold on to the win that would take them through to the second round.

And then the drama. Deep into injury time, our anonymous number 3 appeared to handle the ball in the box off a Vilitan corner. Penalty. The ball was duly smashed home. 3-3. The Archregimancy were out of the World Cup.

Except they weren't. For reasons that remain unclear to this correspondent, the Lowland Clans referee - believed to be from that nation's Orthodox minority - ordered the kick to be re-taken. This time Vilita sent it wide, and amidst scenes of great rejoicing and thanksgiving - and the mad cheers of former Wentland citizen Fr. Iosephus, still the only Archregimancy supporter actually attending World Cup matches - the final whistle blew.

Rumours of a Vilita protest over the final moments of the match remain unsubstantiated.

The Archregimancy now play Cuation in the second round, and the predicted quarterfinal against Bedistan looms if both teams can overcome Cuation and the Lowland Clans respectively.

In other World Cup news, both New Montreal States and Casari were eliminated against expectations. Slightly more in line with expectations, the Holy Empire's luck also finally ran out, though as late as the 66th minute, with the Imperials beating Northern Caesarea 2-0, and Krytenia beating Ariddia 2-0, the Empire was in with a chance. Unfortunately, while the Imperial Squad did indeed defeat the Caesareans by two goals, Arridia's late comeback finally ended one of the luckiest World Cup runs of recent years - this despite the Holy Empire finishing with an identical first round record to the Archregimancy.


[*this newspaper acknowledges that following the recent change in leadership at the MFA, use of the word 'heathen' or 'heretic' to describe international football opposition is officially discouraged by the authorities; however, we are not in the habit of censoring our staff except as regards matters of doctrine]

Ha ha! yor lot 404 & wer goin in2 d qwtr fInLz. Casting d Sacred Symbol of St Kyrilos @ d ref wrkD & he mAd Vilita tAk d penno 'gen. We're on our way!! FanC losing 2 Quakmybush. weL, 1 point iz BetA thN Nuttin. BetA thN lst tym. l8r Fr Io d Superseeker

GRAHAM CITY SUN - World Cup Coverage

The End of an Era

GEISENFRIED - Well, we are coming to an end of an era. Either Bedistan goes down in flames and the team that has been arguably the best team ever will be finished forever, or Casey Dellet leaves the Galaxy at the highest point they have been in decades, with two consecutive trips to the knockout stages. Whatever way the match turns tomorrow, it will leave people with a little piece of their heart missing. For Galaxy fans, the most beloved manager probably ever will have departed into the sunset, leaving the FFLC in a position to charge for their first ever World Cup victory. For the world, a familiar name will no longer paste the headlines with World Cup victories abound and about how they utterly dominate the teams they play. So really, which era is more painful? Well, we'll gladly admit Bedistan. But It would certainly be an honour to put the nail in the coffin and give them a fine send off. Because it would certainly give the Galaxy a good chance to reach the semis, especially if Cuation manages to somehow overcome the footballing monks of the Dreamed Land.

For the Galaxy, the key in this game will to be not overwhelmed by the magnitude of the opponent. They definitely have talent, but Bedistan has always been good at using their stature to cower opponents into giving them too much respect. The Galaxy will need to grab the game by the throat and wrestle it to the ground, and beat it into a pulp. With their relative youthfulness and energy and hope, the Galaxy have a good chance at being able to do that, especially coming off the domination that was the 4-0 drubbing against Nedalia. Silas McGinney will need to command like a true midfield general, and Iska Djukashenki will need his flair to be at it's very highest. The defenders will need to stay solid, have given up only 10 all throughout the Qualifying and Group Stages.

As for the other games in the knockout stage Rejistania looks to top Quakmybush and try to break back into the top flight after a long spell without a cup victory. Watch for them to really take it to the Quakmybush team, and emerge victorious by a wide margin. Ariddia's return to the top ten means that Bettia will be in over their heads as the Communists will take it, but in a close match. Milchama won't be able to overcome champions Squornshelous and their home run will come to an end. Starblaydia will spoil Krytenia's going away party, much to the annoyance of all of Krytenia, and hopefully no nuclear wars will be started over the result. The Archregimancy should over come Cuation and face the Galaxy or Bedistan in the next round. Commerce Heights will also knock fellow hosts Geisenfried out of the Cup, and Errinundera will continue their return to form with a victory.

"Like Sarzonia, Only We Win"

AND so, we meet again. Twice world champions Starblaydia await the Aces tonight after a three-two defeat to Ariddia put the Aces second in the group. It will be the third time in four cups that the two sides have met in the knockout stages of the World Cup, though unusually it's not the last eight this time. Manager Ricky Mallon had this to say about the game:

"We seem to draw them a lot now, and we do have a good record against them recently. It's like when we used to play Sarzonia, only we can win these ones! Seriously though, this will be a big chalenge, and hopefully we can make the Mauves eat another serving of 'Cyanberry Humble Pie'. The lads are really confident and pumped up for it, let's see what happens."

Three, Three, Si, Si

THE Krytenian Football Association announced last night that the Krytenian national team will be participating in the thirty-third World Cup, in a decision that has had fans from all over the country cheering. There had been question marks over whether the nation would participate, however it was a personal decision of KFA Chairman, James Barcali, to take part. He said it was for the fans, "not only of Krytenia, but Bedistan, to have a team from the area to cheer on at the tournament". Barcali has also announced that the city of Washington, just on the Bedistani side of the Bedo-Krytenian border, will host qualifying matches.

Big Is Not Always Best

REPUTATION, in this world cup at least, has been no barometer of success. Let's have a look at some of the teams that were home before their postcards.

BAZALONIA - Failed to win a gaim, falling to a rejuvenated Rejistanian side and hosts Milchama. Nice kits, though.

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND - Remember when these guys won the World Cup? Now they can't even beat Wentland. How the mighty doth fall.

FMJPHOENIX - Being drawn into a group with Starblaydia and Bettia was bad enough; drawing with lowly Cafundeu didn't help though.

SCHIAVONIA - The victims of dark horse side Cuation, and similarly hued equines (albeit hosts) Geisenfried, the Sloths have, ironically, had a quick exit.

VILITA - Finished bottom. Nuff said.

OLIVERRY - Oh how the "mighty" have fallen. That'll teach you to beat us 5-0.

CASARI - Another former champion falling on their backside.

At least one more major name will fall by the wayside, but the way this cup is going, don't bet against a Milchama-Cuation final. Cos, you know, we'll lose in the semis again...

Cuation Advance On

It was a comfortable victory in the end, Spruitland never really looked like coming back from three down at half time despite a late rally. Cuation faces the monks of The Archregimancy who got through in controversial circumstances, a game that Cuation may use to avenge past dealings with extreme force.

Of more concern for Cuation was the sending off for full back Butcher that led to the fight back. James could be used to play out of position or maybe Speedy as an attacking option but seven goals conceded in three games is another worry for the manager SH.

Spruitland needed a win so came out attacking but Cuation rode the pressure without Jude being tested. This played into Cuation's hands; they enjoy playing on the counter with Lu Fei's knock downs seeming to always finding their man.

Downing excelled in the first half, perhaps having gained confidence from a fluke goal in the last match. His crosses caused real problems for the defence and when taken off at half time for Speed, he got a standing ovation from the delighted Cuation fans.

On the 23rd minute, his cross to the penalty spot was met by the unmarked Lu Fei , the strikers header was powerful and the aim true, the keeper left with no chance as the ball fell into the top corner. A similar move ended with Lu Fei's header bouncing off the post for Fallen to stab home in the 333rd minute.

In injury time, Downing's careful ball dropped at the far post for Lewish to head home from three yards. It was a master class of crossing, if only Downing had other things in his locker for days when his crosses do not work.

Spruitland reorganised and attempted to get four goals but again failed to really test Jude until Butcher decided to verbally abuse the referee after he failed to get a free kick. The ref pulled out the red card and Cuation now had twenty minutes to hang on, pushing Speedy to left back.

A failed offside trap from a free kick left one Spruitland player clear on goal, sliding the ball between Jude's legs. With ten minutes left, they grabbed the ball to get the game restarted quickly but with the one chance they created, a minute later, the striker only steered the low cross into Jude's waiting arms.

"Uh-oh, Errinundera just equalized."

It was the 80th minute of the final group stage matches, and otelopea had just scored the 3-3 goal for Errinundera against Qutar. With the Bedistan-Casari match still standing at 0-0, this left the Lions in third place with time running out quickly.

"Are you ready to go?" The still-anonymous Bedistani whom we've color-coded as green for identification purposes was somehow successfully using his mobile phone from the stands at the Old Castle, with thousands of Bedistan fans all around him urging the team on.

"Yep. As soon as the final whistle goes, this thing's going down. I was really hoping it wouldn't be so early, though."

"Yeah, me too."

An uneasy few minutes passed. News came that Errinundera had scored again, meaning Qutar weren't going to be any help anymore. If Bedistan was to get into the knockouts, they were going to have to do it themselves, and they only had four minutes plus stoppage time left to do it.

Then came one of the most bizarre incidents any of the fans there had yet seen.

As Curd Petersdorf approached the goal with only the keeper to beat, it was apparent that he was obviously going to score. But goalkeeper Mina Darcosi, knowing that a loss here would eliminate Casari, was going to have none of it. Thinking back twelve years to World Cup 29, she decided to follow through with Coach Hill's advice against Bedistan.

Darcosi stepped forward and kicked Petersdorf in the groin.

As over sixty thousand spectators watched in amazement, Petersdorf understandably collapsed onto the pitch in front of the goal. Darcosi didn't even bat an eye as she watched the referee wave a red card in front of her face. All three substitutions had already been made, leaving Casari without a goalkeeper just in time for a penalty kick against them. As she stepped off the pitch, though, Darcosi whispered something in central defender Cole Walburg's ear. Walburg spoke briefly with the referee, who nodded at him. After briefly leaving the pitch, Walburg returned wearing an extra Casari keeper's kit. This was all to no avail, though, as Bekk Sherman, taking the penalty in place of the still-winded Petersdorf, easily buried the shot to give Bedistan a 1-0 lead.

"Abort! Abort! Sherman scored, it's 1-0!"

The Lions went on to score a second goal in the dying seconds of stoppage time to drive the final nail into Casari's coffin, the 2-0 win securing Bedistan's advancement to the second round to face the Lowland Clans.

Konigseifert Chronicle
Commerce Heights Comes Calling
Draw with Schiavonia moves Geisenfried on to the Knockout Rounds

The co-hosts have made it past one more hurdle in the race for the World Cup, advancing into the knockout rounds by drawing the Schiavonia Sloths, guaranteeing them enough points to head on into the knockouts. The game, however, was a fight to the finish, with both teams tournament lives at stake.

The game opened with a rush of offensives followed by counteroffensives, but neither team's defense gave until around the end of the first half hour. On a Geisenfried offensive, captain Samuel Wolfe pushed forward before catching the defense off guard by pushing it backwards to Paul Behnke, who hammered into the opposite high corner of the net to make it one-nil, causing the fans to go wild. The Sloths began pushing forward even harder to make up the difference, but the Golden Eagle defense held fast and at the end of the first half it was still 1-0 in favor of the hosts. The Sloths continued with the high pressure in hopes of getting back into the game, and it finally paid off for them near the hour mark when Paul Moston found Colin Chester on a cross, at which point Chester took it and put it through Jonas Steinhager's legs and past Karl Hettich's arms to make it 1-1 in the match. After that the teams continued to trade offensives, but both defenses held strong, and the final whistle blew with the score still tied 1-1.

Geisenfried: 1
(Behnke 28')
Schiavonia: 1
(Chester 59')

Group E G W D L P GF GA TGD
Cuation 3 2 0 1 6 7 7 +0
Geisenfried 3 1 2 0 5 8 5 +3
Schiavonia 3 1 1 1 4 5 5 +0
Spruitland 3 0 1 2 1 5 8 -3

With Geisenfried in the top two, they now advance into the knockout rounds. Their first opponents? The Capitalizt SLANI of Commerce Heights. Just 4 years ago, the Capitalizts dominated the Golden Eagles 6-1 in World Cup group play, as Geisenfried went winless in group play, while Commerce Heights advanced on into World Cup XXXI knockouts. Can Geisenfried reverse the result and overwhelm Commerce Heights? There's always the possibility. The winner will take on the victor of the Errinundera-Jeruselem game.

LEaving them in the Dust

Squornshelous pulled together and beat Liverpool England, who will head home after what must be a very disappointing World Cup visit. The Pschychoes, on the other hand, are moving on to face their hosts, Milchama. Despite the home field advantage, we feel like this match still favors Squornshelous. One point is that Squornshelous and Milchama wear the same colors, Squornshelan players have no reason to be anxious about entering a stadium filled with screaming black and red clad fans. Also, as one of the oldest teams in Cup competition, the Pschycho fanbase tends to travel fairly well.

It is also helpful that Squornshelous ended their group stage with a big win over a hated opponent, we can ride the momentum from that match right on into the knockouts, and hopefully, all the way to a second date with the cup.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 3-1 Liverpool England

The Aeropag Tribune—We’re just here for the bonus!

Sports: Capitalizts to face third three-goal thrashing by Bedistan?
GEISENFRIED—As the Capitalizt SLANI team prepares for its match against host nation Geisenfried, a quick glance at the knockout-round tree has concerned millions of fans. With a possible third matchup between SLANI and rivals Bedistan, who have announced that they will not enter any future World Cup, in the semifinals in one hand, and two goals scored in the first-round match against Vilita in the other, there can only be one conclusion.
The Capitalizts are cursed.

The anonymous new team has done surprisingly well so far, defeating Vilita and making miraculous equalizers against Oliverry and the Archregimancy to win their group and advance to the second round. They are predicted by virtually all media outlets to decisively win against Geisenfried, which would leave them with a likely quarterfinal fixture against Jeruselem, a team that beat the Capitalizts 4–0 in the second round of World Cup 31. If they get through that, they have a decent chance of ending up in the semifinals (for only the third time in team history) against the Lions, whom they lost to away but beat at the Überdome. Aside from the obligatory predictions of a 3–0 Bedistan win, the same result that haunted the Capitalizts in the quarterfinals of World Cup 16 and World Cup 22, many experts believe that such a match would go to penalty kicks. If the Capitalizts prevailed and somehow ended up in the final, it’s anyone’s guess who they’d play, but if you believe in Margaret, it’s probably Starblaydia—then a Capitalizt team will have played every team in the top 5 during this Cup.

So, how much of this will actually happen? Watch the action live on Aeropag Tribune Sports Network to find out!

Hi Netizens,

weird setting, I am posting from here. Webeditor of a UNEK on some Milchaman computer. They have weird defaults, I can tell ya! The sekhikablogger can not use real HTML and is inept enough not to be able to change the fonts, can you imagine this?

Welll, maybe I should update you all. My girlfriend did the update last time, because I was incapable. Venha-hooch is not as strong :-( Well, I was fit for this match, which is like the top match. Milchama was feared by the fans of the lasane since they are the hosts. It was one of the matches, which saw far more fans of the opponent than of the Orange-Blues.

The Milchama warriors were not a walkover like Ravea or System Karela and it was sure their attempt to takil the Orange-Blues to the underworld and back. The Orange-Blues were far too often forced into the defensive positions. The warriors took the lead and I guess you all saw that scene. No good scene of Xara'he... but well, 7 times fall down, 8 times get up. The Orange-Blues attempted to fight back but only managed to keep the score at the same at the halftime. Then, Asaikivelemanakere Ralaseletikivenemaratede (or as I heard selekens say today "Ra~osee") made one of his feared kiiriis. Kelit Simu for Xiaela Serena, Hsene Ea~ejin for Inkil Kalatilu and Na~eta Kii for Linux Aseru. No one expected a kiirii at this time, but it helped. Even though mass-media will say that worse players were substituted in, they were better in this match. There is this rare quality called takamari in isesi. The best translation (while ignoring the religious and philosophical implications) would be: "the additional gain if an optimal constellation is chosen". This lineup had takamari, the players who were substituted in seemed to be more able to deal with that sort of game than the 'stars' of the Orange-Blues. Aia Kansu and Na~eta Kii had a number of chances now the midfield worked better, despite that, it was Syku Lyku who equalized. I guess he had the experience and calmness to react correctly. That however was just part of the takamari. It was a vabanque-game: now there were no substitutions left. I guess Asaikivelemanakere Ralaseletikivenemaratede follows the seleken proverb: High trees have the sweetest fruits. (No other language than seleken or maybe Ly has that amount of proverbs to emphasize risk). It worked until a bad situation in the additional time. I am talking about the injury of H~seli I Li here. Floren Albentine really thought this was some sort of martial arts here. But after the many lost duels against the Sikenian, I can understand the frustruation. He deserved the yellow, but I Li'he was not in his best state for the rest of the match. Maybe Lyku Xiu will replace him in the second round, or Jesi~n Kansu (whom I would prefer there)...

Welll Quakmybush is next and what can I say? Maybe something Ly, which I have heard often during elections: Man builds dams, but the stream decides.

"What a terrible finish to the round"

"I know, losing to Rejistania and now we play Squornshelous"

"Yeh that sucks":

"Whatever we're the hosts we're still going to win"

"All the way for Jamie Smith!"

"Dude, he's dead, didn't you hear he got replaced by a robot"

"What?! Are you kidding me?"

"No."

To be continued...

Knockout Preview

So, your friendly neighborhood knockout bracket looks like this, on the eve of the second round:

Rejistania--------|
|------------------|
Quakmybush--------| |
|------------------|
Ariddia-----------| | |
|------------------| |
Bettia------------| |
|------------------|
Squornshelous-----| | |
|------------------| | |
Milchama----------| | | |
|------------------| |
Starblaydia-------| | |
|------------------| |
Krytenia----------| |
|------------------
Cuation-----------| |
|------------------| |
The Archregimancy-| | |
|------------------| |
The Lowland Clans-| | | |
|------------------| | |
Bedistan----------| | |
|------------------|
Commerce Heights--| |
|------------------| |
Geisenfried-------| | |
|------------------|
Errinundera-------| |
|------------------|
Jeruselem---------|

And here are some predictions for the Round of Sixteen
Rejistania vs Quakmybush
Quakmybush have played solidly to this point, they beat us didn't they? That won't help them here. Rejistania have been on fire this cup, and will steamroll into the quarters.
Rejistania 3-0 Quakmybush

Arridia vs Bettia
Bettia's years of perpetual mediocrity just drag on I'm afraid. The Cup's founders move on toward their most successful finish in quite some time.
Arridia 2-1 Bettia

Squornshelous vs Milchama
We've got plenty of experience taking out hosts on their own ground. A team as disciplined as the Pschychoes doesn't lose focus over being whistled at. With their best advantage gone, Milchama's run ends here.
Squornshelous 2-0 Milchama

Starblaydia vs Krytenia
A close match between two teams whose names are visually quite similar. Offsetting penalties for unnessecary use of the letter Y, and Krytenia upset the dwarven whatevers by a hair.
Starblaydia 0-1 Krytenia

Cuation vs The Archregimancy
Those robed fellas surprised us by getting this far, but a red hot team from Cuation should put em outta comission.
Cuation 3-1 The Archregimancy

The Lowland Clands vs Bedistan
Another team that we're surprised is still here, along with one that no one is surprised to see. I'm torn between rooting for TLC out of pity and rivalry with Bedistan, and with supporting our fellow World Cup V noobs in their final cup.
Bedistan 2-1 The Lowland Clans AET

Commerce Heights vs Geisenfried
The Capitalizts aren't what they once were, and in a total contradiction of earlier statements, I think that homefield advantage will make a difference here.
Geisenfried 2-0 Commerce Heights

Errinundera vs Jeruselem
Two teams that both seem to be overachieving this cup, it should be quite a fight. We've seen Errinundera firsthand, and they look just a hair better. It could go either way though.
Errinundera 4-3 Jeruselem


Now on to our predicted Quarterfinals
Rejistania vs Arridia
Arridia pulls a fast one on Rejistania, who may become just the tiniest bit complacent after a pretty good string of wins.
Arridia 2-1 Rejistania

Squornshelous vs Krytenia
These teams have met before, with fairly even results, and it's a close match even now, but the Pschychoes are still the class of the world right now, and it'll take an amazing effort to stick with us.
Squornshelous 3-1 Krytenia

Cuation vs Bedistan
The Lions'll flex the muscles of old school world cup football here, putting down a hot team from a country half their age.
Bedistan 4-1 Cuation

Geisenfried vs Errinundera
Supportive fans can only get you so far, and this is it, no hometwon champions this time around.
Errinundera 2-0 Geisenfried

Semis:
Arridia vs Squornshelous
As much as it pains me to say it, defending the world cup is a neraly impossible feat, and here's where our try will end. Not too bad, but just short of our goal.
Arridia 4-2 Squornshelous

Bedistan vs Errinundera
Another semifinaly upset here, Errinundera has been very impressive to this point, and I see no reason to expect them to have a letdown.
Errinundera 2-1 Bedistan

Last Day:
Squornshelous vs Bedistan
One last time for old rivals to meet and beat the hell out of each other. Who knows how it'll finish.

Arridia vs Errinundera
I've used up my eloquence for the night.
Errinundera 3-1 Arridia


Rejistania--------|
|Rejistania--------|
Quakmybush--------| |
|Ariddia-----------|
Ariddia-----------| | |
|Ariddia-----------| |
Bettia------------| |
|Ariddia-----------|
Squornshelous-----| | |
|Squornshelous-----| | |
Milchama----------| | | |
|Squornshelous-----| |
Starblaydia-------| | |
|Krytenia----------| |
Krytenia----------| |
|------------------
Cuation-----------| |
|Cuation-----------| |
The Archregimancy-| | |
|Bedistan----------| |
The Lowland Clans-| | | |
|Bedistan----------| | |
Bedistan----------| | |
|Errinundera--------|
Commerce Heights--| |
|Geisenfried-------| |
Geisenfried-------| | |
|Errinundera------|
Errinundera-------| |
|Errinundera-------|
Jeruselem---------|

World Cup 32 Round of 16 RP Cutoff

Milchama Group Round of 16 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12237265&postcount=31)
Geisenfried Group Round of 16 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12237290&postcount=32)

<Girl in a sexy Crusader knight suite and a good looking fellow>

Dazza: I'm DaDallas!
Ricky: I'm RipperStickU!
Dazza: Otherwise known as Dazza Dallas
Ricky: And I'm also known as Ricky Pointy Stick. Oh, this is the FOOTBALL LIFE on Jeruselem Government News not the Errinundera's celebrity show.

Dazza: It's World Cup Octofinal time! Err, God I hate that name! Better known as the 2nd Round in most decent nations.
Ricky: I agree with Lady Dazza here!
Dazza: Well, it was good day for Bettian and Jeruselem fans which means Nedalian fans had a good day too.
Ricky: Yes, World Cup XXX was good but we think World Cup 32 will be better!

Dazza: Firstly, Jeruselem took on Errinundera for a place in the quarterfinals. We've never played them and well, the result was very uncertain.
Ricky: Kate Bush taking over from super Mum Dazza here, made sure Jeruselem would not go home again too early like we did the World Cup 26, 27, 28 and 31.
Dazza: Jeruselem's strike force lead by captain Kate Bush destroyed the hopes of Errinundera. FOUR NIL in a one-side rout and Jeruselem emulate World Cup XXX.
Ricky: Big Gay Al scored twice with that man Tunk the Tank smashing home two screamers too. Both teams attacked from outset but Jeruselem's defense held steady while the Errinundera faltered from Jeruselem's charges.

Dazza: A team effort! And we move on ... maybe to glory!
Ricky: The World Cup, the Holy Grail of Football.
Dazza: Other 2nd round games!
Ricky: And some upsets too.

Dazza: Quakmybush ran into Rejistania brickwall and they were stopped TWO NIL. Rejistania are back in the World Cup with a vengance while the brave team from Quak team have to go home.
Ricky: Sad for the Quaks to go home but they will surely not be disappointed to get this far.

Dazza: Bettia our buddies were outlasted by the team from Arridia. The score was 3 ALL and Arridians knocked out the Bettians in cruel penalty shoot-out THREE ONE. Oh dear, Bettia did a Jeruselem for penalty shootouts.
Ricky: Arridia showed steel while Bettia's penalty shooting emulated ours - which is not good. Bettia still make sure Arridia had to fight for the next round.

Dazza: Squornshelous took on the hosts Milchama and blasted them FOUR TWO in a warning to other teams. The hosts fought hard but the champs showed why they won the last cup.
Ricky: Yes, the champs are here and here for 2 peat. Not here just to the show.

Dazza: My God, Krytenia did the impossible. They blasted the Starblaydi team out of this world cup with a THREE NIL win. Sweet win for them over a formidable opponent.
Ricky: Starblaydia will not win this cup but then they can't win them all either.
Dazza: Shock of the round!
Ricky: You Bettia! Did I say that ...

Dazza: Cuation just keep on rolling on! They upset the mighty mad monks from The Archregimancy TWO ONE. A famous win for Cuation.
Ricky: Cuation must be party central at the moment. Dazza you picked Cuation to qualify and it's good pick

Dazza: The Lowland Clans played the Lions from Bedistan in their last cup. New vs old, and retiring Lions rolled over to the new force of the Clans. The Clans took out the game on penalties FIVE THREE after it was locked at ONE ALL. Another big upset, Bedistan and Starblaydia are gone!
Ricky: No sweet ending for the Lions. The new boys are here! The new generation are taking over.

Dazza: Geisenfried beat veteran Commerce Height TWO ONE. Good team Geisenfried! Oh they are the co-hosts too.
Ricky: I'm seeing a pattern here, the old teams are looking at the new teams with fright.
Dazza: We play Geisenfried next too! That's a showdown
Ricky: After they saw us trash the Errinundera, they might need to think again about us.

Dazza: Just looking at the current quarterfinalists, a lot of new faces and some veterans like us. Some of the old champs are gone - Casari, Bedistan, Starblaydia but the current champ is well and alive. And then we have the Rejis here too and that Krytenian team.
Ricky: Things are changing, with Bedistan gone - it looks like a new generaton are here as some teams like Arridia are back too with form.
Dazza: And don't forget Jeruselem, 2nd rounders - back into the quarterfinals. We have not lost a single game either.
Ricky: This team is looking good. Can they better your XXX team Dazza?

Dazza: Who knows, Kate is leading by example and they follow. She's not a Dallas but she is might become legendary.
Ricky: You're a legend too Dazza.
Dazza: (blushes) Thanks Ricky
Ricky: You might be not the captain, but Jeruselem has two Captains - you and Kate. It's good for the team.

Dazza: Well, we face Geisenfried and don't miss it.
Ricky: Watch all the games! Bettia are gone. Bettians and Nedalia, wave the Jeruselem flag we charge into battle with Lady Dazza here.
Dazza: Oh yeah, we'll capture their castles and steal the loot!
Ricky: And then Dazza will get laid

Dazza: Been there, done that.
Ricky: Still the professional cheerleader Dazza.
Dazza: That too
Ricky: You wearing anything under that?

Dazza: Who needs underwear!
Ricky: I'd thought you say that.
Dazza: No peeking!
Ricky: I'm sure someone else is trying right now

Errinundera [0] Jeruselem [4]
Rejistania [2-0] Quakmybush
Ariddia [3(4)-3(1)] (PK) Bettia
Squornshelous [4-2] Milchama
Starblaydia [0-3] Krytenia
Cuation [2] The Archregimancy [1]
The Lowland Clans [1] Bedistan [1] The Lowland Clans advances (5-3) on penalty kicks.
Commerce Heights [1] Geisenfried [2]

"....and with the final whistle blowing, it's a famous come from behind victory for Cuation over the Archregimancy. What drama! What excitement! But the monks are reacting sportingly, blessing their opponents in thanks for a magnificent encounter that had it all. This is a game that will live long in the memory of both sets of supporters, especially the rather lonely Fr. Iosephus, sitting there all alone in the Archregimancy section... but wait... there are two other monks joining him. Well, he's no longer alone, but meanwhile, back on the field of play, the Cuation players are celebrating wildly...."

Somewhere in the stands....

"Fr. Iosephus"

"Bummer. That result really harshes my buzz."

"Erm.... I don't believe I'm familiar with that particular liturgical reading."

"Hold that thought - I just have to text my mates."

"Erm.... What is this texting of which you speak?"

"What? You don't....? Wake up, grandad."
<ringtone of hot Wentland band the Magnificent Five>
"Hey it's Jezza! What's up Jez? Yeah. I'm at the match. Bummer of a result. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Robe's still a babe magnet. Hang on, I'll call you back - some geezer wants a word with me. Yeah, grandad?"

"Fr. Iosephus. I must insist you turn that infernal machine off. We must speak at once."

"'Bout what?"

"About your future, young man. The Holy Synod were really very impressed at your finding the Lesser Column of St. Symeon Stylites the Younger."

"Yeah. That was cool - got me these tickets"

"Yes. Precisely. And now it's time for your vigil."

"My what?"

"Your vigil. Forty days and nights in the frigid arctic wastes of the Archregimancy, fending for yourself with only a single set of robes and only the man-eating wolves for company. Either that or forty days and nights in the deep deserts of the Archregimancy, with only a single bucket of water to sustain you, and only the most venemous snakes for company."

"Wha......?"

"Oh don't be like that. Surely you read the fine print on that ticket contract? The third paragraph of the second subsection of clause 19 on page 42?"

"Wha.......?"

"That's right.... before you take up your lucrative position in the Archregimand's office, you need to purge your soul of all sin - hey.... in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, stop him! He's trying to run for it!"

<sounds of scuffling>

"Got him, Fr. Polyeuctus!"

"Good. That'll teach him. 'Babe magnet' indeed."

"Are you going to let him go?"

"If he wants to. But only after the vigil......"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 3-3 Bettia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/bettia.png (4-1 PK)

By the skin of their teeth

Watch ( http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1856/pinawc32ao7.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

Ariddians were pleasantly surprised when the Squornshelan media predicted ( http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12237178&postcount=579) that the Rouge-et-Noirs would make it all the way to the final… and then finish second, losing to Errinundera.

“Playing against Errinundera in the final would be a dream match… as long as we win, of course!” Ariddian captain Hanifah Kyaw admitted with a smile. “But first we have to make sure we get into the quarter-finals. And against Bettia that’s definitely not just a formality.”

Kyaw did not know yet how right she was. Bettia was in top form, the Bettians playing their usual “all-out attack” style, cheered on by supporters who outnumbered the Ariddians and – for some reason – appeared particularly incensed at the Rouge-et-Noirs for wearing red.

When two attack-focused teams go head to head, there’s bound to be a lot of goals, and that is precisely what happened today. Chloé al Safi scored the first goal in the eighth minute, to cheers from Ariddian fans, but it was quite correctly invalidated due to an offside. Bettia’s first goal, through Eurys Ffagan in the nineteenth minute, was also invalidated for the same reason, and spectators were beginning to feel tense. Who would score the first valid goal?

Bettia did, with Malik Abdul-Nur in the fortieth minute, a precise and powerful shot slamming right past Xavier Xu. Ariddian supporters held their breath… then cheered as Dave Rider struck back and equalised just three minutes later. One all at halftime, and Bettia had been denied the psychological advantage of a mid-match lead.

On to the second half. A free kick put Bettia back in the lead through Gwarthen Rhydderch, then the same Rhydderch scored a superb goal to give his side a decisive edge. Not willing to concede just yet, the Rouge-et-Noirs continued to play strongly. Hanifah Kyaw scored on a corner kick taken by Chloé al Safi, then Kyaw again scored in the seventy-fifth minute. 3-3.

The tension in the stadium was at its highest.

Both teams took risks in the closing minutes, hoping to clinch a winning goal, and it was the Bettians who came closest to achieving that. Eurys Ffagan got a shot in in the eighty-seventh minute, at a steep angle, but Ariddian goalkeeper Xavier Xu did the seemingly impossible and diverted it over the bar. Ariddian supporters heaved a sigh of relief, and applauded their goalie.

The match went into extra time, but those thirty minutes proved mostly uneventful, neither team able to score the goal that would end the suspense. It was time for that most dreaded of rituals: the penalty shoot-out.

Xu, Kyaw, Simon, Rider, and Senaya were chosen as Ariddia’s shooters. Ffagan, Rhydderch, Abdul-Nur, Kurniawan and Scott would go for Bettia.

First up was Xavier Xu. The Ariddian goalkeeper is also one of his country’s best penalty kickers, and walked up to face his Bettian counterpart, Safwan Sulaiman. It was an interesting moment, and everyone in the stadium held their breath. Xu shot… and in the ball went. 1-0. The tall, thin Asian Ariddian smiled. He had done his bit as penalty shooter… Now he had to face penalty kicks from the Bettians.

The first Bettian was Eurys Ffagan, who appeared calm and scored condfidently. 1-1. Ariddia’s legendary Hanifah Kyaw went next, scoring without problem… and then Xu blocked the shot by Bettia’s Gwarthen Rhydderch.

2-1. Ariddian supporters began to feel cautiously hopeful.

Nathalie Simon beat Sulaiman and made it 3-1, before Malik Abdul-Nur shot the ball towards Xavier Xu’s net… and Xu again saved it. The ace goalkeeper had just blocked two consecutive shots, enabling his country to take a 3-1 lead. Supporters knew exactly what that meant and were on their feet, cheering excitedly as Dave Rider walked up to face Sulaiman.

If Rider scored now, Bettia would not even be allowed a fourth penalty kick. It would all be over, and Ariddia would be in the quarter-finals.

And as Dave Rider sent the ball hurtling into the net, the stadium erupted in shouts of joy. The Rouge-et-Noirs, yet again, were through to the quarter-finals.

The players shook hands with their opponents, then went to haul Xavier Xu onto their shoulders, their fantastic goalkeeper who had not only scored a penalty kick himself but had stopped two of Bettia’s three, giving his team a decisive victory. The sometimes shy Xu was grinning, a little awkwardly but happily, as he was paraded round the field.

Next up, Rejistania, who eliminated Quakmybush 2-0. Ariddia had a recent encounter with Rejistania in the Indigenous World Cup, when the Wymgani were defeated 3-5 by the Ly in the match for the third place. They will be looking to set the record straight.

"Stevo!"

"Jezza!"

"Heard anything from Joe lately?"

"No, why?"

"Oh, I was on the mobile and he said he had to go."

"So?"

"Well, he hasn't come back since. And his mobile's off, or there's no signal at any rate."

"Maybe he's disappointed that his lot went out."

"Yeah, maybe. Anyhoo he's not back yet."

"Maybe he's gone the whole hog?"

"Eh, maybe. Still, the whole thing's somewhat unorthodox..."

Found torn from today's edition of the Columbia Times:

At 9:22 p.m. AOTC on Monday, the headquarters of the Bedistan Football Association in Graceville were destroyed by a series of explosions. Explosives had been placed throughout the complex in a manner worthy of a professional demolition crew. All 237 people inside the building at the time, including Association president Nicholas Reagan, are presumed dead.

Preliminary investigations have concluded that this was a premeditated act, and would likely have to have been planned several months in advance. It is also believed to not be a coincidence that the explosion occurred just minutes after the Bedistan national team's loss to the Lowland Clans in the second round of what had already been declared by the BFA to be its final World Cup participation.

How BFA security had managed to overlook these developments has not yet been determined, though it is suspected that the demolition may have been an inside job.

The Schiavone Scribe
Lowe Is New SFF Chief

Schiavonia's National Team manager for the last 28 years, Rodney Lowe, has today been announced as the successor to Harvey Alfredo as Chief of the SFF.

Mr Alfredo died last week watching Schiavonia's thrilling 3-2 defeat to Cuation, and with the Sloths going home after the group stage for the second time in a row, Lowe has nothing much to do either.

Lowe was not expected to be in the running for the job, but the thorough preparation of his team that he was famous for in Schiavonia would have been a loss to the SFF. However, his levels of preparation waned in recent years, as age has caught up with him, and results against any king of quality opposition have shown this.

The Sloths' new manager, Tony Tarmey, will continue to work with Lowe, to whom he was assistant throughout World Cup 32. He said, "I'm glad that Rodney will still have such an important position in Schiavone football. He's still held in very high regard by the Schiavone people, even though we've slid back to the same level we were at in our first cup. Hopefully we can push on from here and usher in a new era for our nation's football team, especially with the number of youngsters in the squad increasing."

The only other Schiavone football news of note was that our top expert Fil Schiavone picked Jeruselem and Krytenia as the World Cup 32 finalists. Although why this is news, I don't know. He always picks those two teams.

Cuation Beat Holy Orders

Cuation came through a stern test to play giants Lowland Clans in the last eight but having just beaten team's 14th and 16th in the world, a game against a 23rd team should be easier. Lowland had to win on penalties so expect Cuation to try and tire their opponents and take advantage of their freshet legs.

To look ahead would be doing a disservice to an excellent game that saw both sides show what they can do. As the better team, The Archregimancy passed the ball better but Cuation's defensive expertise and passion equalled it, the difference is Cuation got lucky when it was needed. The monks were gracious in defeat as clean as they were on it and they should be proud of themselves.

James was played instead of Speedy at left back with Butcher suspended but he struggled with Scott forced to move out to help him. The monk’s anonymity policy and only one may have helped unsettle Cuation because they were dominated in the first half.

Unable to cope with the attacks down James' flank, Cuation had defended several crosses with Jude coming for them when he could. With Cole coming inside, Cuation had four defenders to head the ball away but Jude had to make a few saves, the best being a smart dive to his right to catch a flicked header.

The many Cuation fans could have no complaints when they went behind, a fine flowing move ending in the ball drilled into the bottom corner from just outside the area. Cuation responded with Cheese heading over from a corner and Downing's free kick hitting the wall.

Half time saw SH take off Downing for Speedy and order Scott to go back in the centre. With the pressure eased, Cuation took part in an end to end contest but the final pass lacked for both sides. Even so, the monks hit the post after breaking the offside trap, Jude thankful to see the ball roll into his arms.

Cuation started to create chances but found the keeper in good form, one amazing one handed save from Fallen's free kick was the pick of the bunch. Even so he perhaps should have saved Fallen's goal, Speedy's early cross deflected into Fallen's path but the keeper seemed slow to get down to the drive.

The many fans called for Rual or Keane to be brought on as the game seemed it would drag on to extra time but with only seconds left, the anonymous Lewish sprang to life. A strong run on the counter attack saw him get clear down the right, his pinpoint cross only needed the merest of touches from Lu Fei's head to make it 2-1!

The dream is still alive; could Cuation go all the way? The fans will believe that the team can go into the semis with the draw they have but have Cuation killed too many giants to go further?

"This is Krytie Sports News, on KryDigital channel 405. The headlines at 10:00...

...Orange beats Purple as Jermaine's hat-trick helps Krytenia thrash the Starblaydis...
...Mallon hails side as "Calania's finest" after five-star display...
...Cuation shock the monks...
...and it's heartbreak and tragedy as the Green and Blue curtain falls."

"Thank you James, and now to our top story. Clebration is the mood in Port James today as Krytenia overpowered their great rivals Starblaydia in their second round match. Over a hundred thousand fans witnessed the rise of Jermaine Orange as a world class striker as the Aces romped home. Orange opened the scoring by latching onto a through ball and deftly looping the ball over the helpless Starblaydi keeper. His second, a header from an inswinging free-kick, put the world number two ranked side up by a pair at the break, and it was obvious from the way that Starblaydia played in the second half that they knew that the match was slipping away, seeming only to want to stop further embarrassment. Orange, however, launched a thunderbolt from thirty yards to put the match beyond doubt, and Krytenia move on to the last eight, where they will face reignng champions Squornshelous. Manager Ricky Mallon had this to say after the game:"

"These men are not just Krytenia's finest, they are Calania's finest. Even the Mercians! We know that the Squornshelans will be a tough test, but to be the best, you have to beat the best, and if we can beat the champs, I think we can go on and win the whole thing."

"Confident stuff there from Mallon. In other news, the Cuation fairytale continues as they squeezed past The Archregimancy in..."

(TV goes off)

Konigseifert Chronicle
Geisenfried Conquers Commerce Heights Capitalizts, Continue On
2-1 victory grants first ever visit to the Quarterfinals

The Golden Eagles find themselves in an unprecedented position. After taking down a tough Capitalizt SLANI team from Commerce Heights, they now stand as one of the eight teams remaining in World Cup 32. Geisenfried has never reached this far, though it should be noted that they've never hosted the cup before this Cup either. The homefield advantage seems to be producing wonders, as few expected the team to go this far. The question that remains: How much further?

The game opened with pressure from both sides, but nothing gave way until about a third of an hour in, when Josef Tonsheim broke past Cord Tserkesidis before beating Friedel Kuban-Schnellfrieder and sending the ball into the net to make a surprising 1-0 lead for Geisenfried. Capitalizt SLANI replied with a few strong offensives, but the defense remained strong for the half on the Geisenfried side, keeping it one-nil. After 10 minutes in the second half, though, the Capitalizts' Davido Agiaro recieved a beautiful cross from Jay Chandler, which he converted into the equalizer. A quarter of an hour later, though, the fans roared in triumph as the veteran hero Samuel Wolfe got through and made it 2-1 to Geisenfried. Despite efforts from the Capitalizts, the Golden Eagles would not be denied the hard earned victory, as the crowd exploded in jubilance when the final whistle after 90 minutes and stoppage time ended the game at two to one.

Geisenfried: 2
(Tonsheim 21', Wolfe 73')
Capitalizt SLANI: 1
(Agiaro 56')

Cuation-----------|
|Cuation-----------|
The Archregimancy-| |
|------------------|
The Lowland Clans-| | |
|The Lowland Clans-| |
Bedistan----------| |
|------------------
Commerce Heights--| |
|Geisenfried-------| |
Geisenfried-------| | |
|------------------|
Errinundera-------| |
|Jeruselem---------|
Jeruselem---------|

Geisenfried now goes on to face Jeruselem, whom they faced in the World Cup XXXI qualifiers, capturing a 2-2 draw before losing 3-0. The Golden Eagles have improved and have homefield advantage... will it be enough to send them to the semis? We'll find out.

GRAHAM CITY SUN - World Cup Coverage

A Match to Remember

Haimuller, Geisenfriend - With the Galaxy already through in a match that would go down in Clan footballing history as perhaps the greatest match ever. An epic battle between the last giant and the resurgent Galaxy, it was a game filled with skill, toughness, over the top goals and stamina-testing runs. The Galaxy came into the game looking shaky. The Lions opened up the scoring in the first ten minutes Bobby Tuckey made a classic run from the touchline of the Bedistani half after securing a curling corner into the box from winger Elliot Deldier. He blew pass the ring of defenders out around the box, and was alone with Doninho and Jurgensen. Firing his engines, he sprinted past Jurgensen, with only Deninho between him and the goal. He made a wonderful move, faking left before chipping it to the right and sprinting past Doninho and in on Jensen Liptings. He drew his leg back for a power shot, but hesitated at the last second throwing Liptings off and he was able to walk right past the fallen keeper and chipped into the net.

The large Bedistani contingent of supporters erupted. The cheering was deafening. The Galaxy looked shaken, and made two key mistakes which looked as it they were going to cost them the game. After intercepting a bad pass from Henry Delvin, Bekk Sherman had beaten both center backs who were caught up field in the play, his cannoning curler was stopped by an amazing Liptings, who looked ever more sharp as the Lions roared in, getting off ten shots in a span of five minutes. But Liptings and the shaken defence stood tall, but then the mistake came. A foolish mistake by Amalido Joeira allowed Brittany Santos a free run at the goal, only to be stopped by a two footed studs up tackle from fullback Mackingley. The referee from Rejistania took about three seconds to make the decision, a straight red. Rightfully and without protest, Mackingley walked off the pitch, not taking a look at Casey Dellet. The Galaxy managed to emerge from the half intact.

But the team came back rejuvenated. Despite being down one man, the halftime talk from Dellet gave them renewed legs. Tucker, who was tired from an excellent first half, failed to mark a flying Jurgensen who flew in on a corner and rang a header off the crossbar. The pressure began to mount. As Dellet went to a 4-2-3 formation to try to bring the pressure to Bedistan, the Lions began to get sloppy. Two quick dirty tackles earned Seol Chan-gun two yellows and an early trip the showers. Back even the Galaxy piled the pressure on the Lions. The goal game with three minutes left in the half, with Silas McGinney chipping a corner onto the foot of Cristiano Toldo, who blew it past Elaine Morris. Extra time was inconclusive, both teams fighting for every inch and not giving. The penalties came, the keepers not performing terribly well. Bedistan and the Galaxy exchanged goals, until Liptings exacted revenge from Tucker with a beautiful stop to put the Galaxy up 4-3 in penalties. Then, with sweat on his brow, Captain Silas McGinney, cheekily chipped the winner over the shoulder of keeper Elaine Morris. Galaxy win.

World Cup Quarterfinal Cutoff

Milchama Group Quarterfinals Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12245850&postcount=33)
Geisenfried Group Quarterfinal Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12245860&postcount=34)

<Dazza Dallas with herself all over Ricky Pointy Stick>

Ricky: Hi, I'm Ricky Pointy Stick. Apologies for Dazza's behaviour, here. She's just so excited today. Something fantastic for Jeruselem just happened!
Dazza: You bet!
Ricky: It's the quarter finals of World Cup 32 and it's time the best of the best is decided right now, well for the Milchama region anyway. This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE - as you can see, because Dazza's here.
Dazza: w00t!

Ricky: Today we played the remaining host Geisenfried and The Lowland Clans took on surprise package Cuation. Mind you the Clans themselves were not expected to be here either as well.
Dazza: We're into the semi-final!
Ricky: Yes, we beat Geisenfried TWO NIL. A super performance from our defense and the attack worked hard all game to score the winner. You know, the defense were like a castle. The hosts threw everything at us, all they had. Our soldiers on the field took it on and soaked up all the pressure - in the best game they have played.
Dazza: And we scored two late goals to make HISTORY. My team from the World Cup XXX are not the best now, this one is. My friend Monique Alexander score the first goal after lobbing the keeper with a super accurate chip to stun the hosts and then Tunk smashed home a screaming curler to secure the win.

Ricky: Those who have not seen the game - please watch. Both teams played well, but only one had to win. It was us.
Dazza: The hosts did well to make this far, but Jeruselem were the better team.
Ricky: Yes Jeruselem make semis of the World Cup for the first time.
Dazza: Critics of Kate Bush, go dig a grave and jump in it. She's a real legend now.

Ricky: In the other game, The Lowland Clans took down Cuation in a thriller.
Dazza: Scores after extra time were locked at 3 ALL. A great game with both teams deserving to win but it had to be decided using the dreaded penalty shootouts. Jeruselem hate shootouts, we all know that.
Ricky: The Clans prevailed FOUR THREE in the shootout, with Cuation going home.
Dazza: The Clans won and Cuation go home with a lot of pride. We now play the Clans again.

Ricky: We played in the group stage - 1 ALL draw. Now, a rematch. So it's game on.
Dazza: No results for the Geisenfried region, but who ares. If we beat the Clans, we are in the final!
Ricky: Dazza, it's time to plan a party.
Dazza: Doing that right now.

Ricky: What you up to?
Dazza: I'm going call my daughter if I have one - KATE, now.
Ricky: And if it's a son.
Dazza: That's hard question, can't decide there.

Ricky: Hey, what if we win this thing?
Dazza: I'm going to something special - at my expense.
Ricky: Dressed?
Dazza: What you think?

Ricky: Probably not then.
Dazza: I'll tell when we do win.
Ricky: Well, we'd better win this cup then. My son Rocky would be interested.
Dazza: It'll be good, don't worry.

Ricky: Speaking of Rocky, he's planning his own family.
Dazza: Yeah, who's the lucky girl then?
Ricky: You know who it is. It's that niece of yours.
Dazza: Eh, starting late I see.

Ricky: Well, we wanted Dallas of this own and got one.
Dazza: Lucky boy he is. He can talk to Auntie Dazza if he had problems.
Ricky: If he keeps his hand off you.
Dazza: Doesn't bother me

Ricky: That's it from THE FOOTBALL LIFE, Jeruselem face the Clans again - this time in the semi.
Dazza: And I'm ready for action too.

...

Quarter Final Results Milchama Region

Cuation [3] The Lowland Clans [3]
The Lowland Clans advances (3-4) on penalty kicks.

Geisenfried [0] Jeruselem [2]

Dear Diary,

It’s amazing what a difference two days make.

I couldn’t be at the Errinundera – Jeruselem game in Geisenfried because cunégonde was bedridden with minor complications with her pregnancy. So I left the circus and returned home to our tree in Monkeytop. Fortunately I was able to get to the Big Tree Camp Amphitheatre just down the road from my tree where they had installed a gigantic screen to display the big game.

The Errinundera coaching staff had been very concerned about Jeruselem leading up to the match. They knew that the potoroos were less skillful than most of the other sides in the Cup Proper, however they made up for it with utter dedication, indeed they bordered on fanaticism. One thing we had all noticed was that none of the teams we had played to date, from the start of qualifying, had shown the same willingness to play their role as footballers with the same dedication. Time and again the potoroos had exploited this lack of commitment in other teams.

However, we knew Jeruselem was different. They are skillful and fanatical. Like us, they were willing to put in that extra effort in order to go that little bit further.

Our fears were realised. They crushed us nil-4. We were never in the game. The only bright light in the game was that Errinundrian genderqueers seemed to have taken a shine to Tunk the Tank. There’s no understanding some people.

With the 3rd goal of the rout scored shortly after the interval it was clear to the Big Tree Camp crowd that the Word Cup campaign end was nigh. And so began the 20,000 strong chant of the national football lament, “We Won’t Cry For You Errinund’ra”:

---

It won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange
When we try to explain how we feel
That we still your love after all that you’ve done

You won’t believe us
All we will see is a team we once knew
Although they’re dressed in team colour
And gazing at the World Cup

We had to let it happen, you had to change
Couldn’t stay all your life down at heel
Looking out from the qualifiers, staying out of the final

So we chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed us at all
We never expected it to

Chorus1:
We won’t cry for you, Errinund’ra
Your soul is with us
Your whole team, you dedicate to us
Don’t keep your distance

You need us

And as for fortune, and as for fame
We never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all you desired

They are illusions
They’re not the solutions they promise to be
The answer was here all the time
We love you and hope you love us

Chorus1
Chorus2:
We won’t cry for you, Errinund’ra
We have never left you
Although in silence, our souls cry to you
Now and forever
We are Errinund’ra

So we chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed us at all
We never expected it to

Chorus1
Chorus2

Have we said too much?
There’s nothing more we can think of to say to you.
But all we have to do is look at you to know
That every word is true

---

Apparently more than 2 billion Errinundrians were, at that moment, singing the same words all over the country at the countless public screenings of the match. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.

Anyway, 2 days later the national team arrived home by riverboat. Well, arrived doesn’t quite convey what happened. Millions upon millions lined the banks of the Snowy River from the border to McKillops Bridge. Problem was, the river level was so low the boat kept running aground. Each time this happened the fans mobbed the boat and literally lifted and carried it into deeper water. Apparently the crowd-shy coach, withare, was so nervous he locked himself in the engine room.

I joined the crowd about 35 kilometres north of McKillops Bridge. For hours we could hear the continuous sound of thunder from the north as the boat slowly made its way downriver. The thunder was, of course, the roar of the crowds on the banks. The loss to Jeruselem had been forgotten. The heroic efforts of the underdogs was all that mattered now.

When the boat came into view the potoroos could be seen on the roof waving to their fans. Perhaps they saw me in the crowd because as the boat drew level with me the whole team did handstands and jiggled their bare feet in my direction. I’ll never forget that gesture to the day I die.

All is not lost for Errinundrians. Our next favourite team in the Cup, Ariddia, has made it to the semi-finals. Mind you, they played Rejistania in the quarters and they’re pretty weak. My favourite non-potoroo plays for Rouge et Noirs. (I wonder how you say White, Green and Browns in French? Or longfoots? Or potoroos?). Cassie Lee is one heavenly human being. I met her when she was at the National Football Academy. Sigh… She has the most sublime feet I have ever had the pleasure of massaging.

http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/3285/lee3bfd5.jpg

Yours sincerely,

mckennap
Foot masseur extraordinaire

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/rejistania.png Rejistania 0-1 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

History is made

Watch ( http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1856/pinawc32ao7.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

For the first time since World Cup 10, the Rouge-et-Noirs have made it to the semi-finals of the World Cup.

After a narrow victory over Bettia in their previous match, the Ariddians eliminated the Orange-Blues of Rejistania by one goal to nil. Ariddian goalkeeper Xavier Xu, whose skill had been crucial against Bettia, again performed excellently, blocking several shots on goal.

The only goal of the match came from midfielder Chloé al Safi, who scored in the fifteenth minute. After that, despite good efforts on both sides, there were no further goals, and the Ariddians found themselves in what was – for all twenty-three players – uncharted territory.

“None of us has ever been in a World Cup semi!” team captain Hanifah Kyaw said excitedly. “We’re all thrilled about this. Worst case scenario, we get to play for the third place, which is what our predecessors got thirty years ago. But now we’re just one step away from the final, it’s right there, it’s tantalising, and we really really are going to do all we can to get there!”

Kyaw had previously admitted that this would probably be her last World Cup. Reaching the final would be the crowning glory of her career… but the semi-final itself is seen by many Ariddians as a wonderful achievement.

Recently, in the World Cup for Indigenous People, Ariddia reached the semi-finals, lost, then came fourth after losing… to Rejistania. The Rouge-et-Noirs are hoping to do better this time against a new opponent: Krytenia.

Krytenia struggled to reach the semis, defeating Squornshelous by six penalty kicks to five.

“Last time we played Krytenia, it was a one-all draw,” coach Evgheny Melenciuc pointed out. “So anything can happen. And it’s definitely possible to beat them.”

Ariddians, meanwhile, have been moved by the lament “We Won’t Cry For You Errinund’ra” which was sung by hundreds of millions in that country after its elimination from the competition. The song instantly became popular in Ariddia, where news from the Cool Temperate Rainforest is followed with great interest.

“Of course I remember mckennap,” Ariddian third goalkeeper ‘Princess’ Cassie Lee said, blushing at the compliment about her feet. “He does a wonderful massage. I’m flattered that he remembers me.

‘White, Green and Browns’ would be ‘Blanc, Vert et Bruns’ in French. ‘Longfoots’ would be… ‘long-pieds’? ‘Potoroos’… I have no idea,” she admitted with a laugh. “We call them ‘Les Potorous’.”

“That’s actually right,” team mate and second goalkeeper Sio Epa put in, and smiled. “I looked it up.” Sio Epa, too, has a reason to feel close to the Errinundrians. S/he is the first and only Ariddian national player to be neither male nor female; s/he is fa’afafine ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fa'afafine), the Samoan “third gender”.

“rosaniel is a model, a real example for people who don’t fit into the usual gender duality,” Epa says. “Que helps them develop a sense of identity, of pride in who they are. Self-acceptance, too.”

Cassie Lee has not played a single match for the national team yet; she is the only Ariddian player not to have been seen on the field during this competition. Sio Epa appeared only briefly, playing part of a match against Cafundéu. But Xavier Xu has been the star goalkeeper, especially after his performance in the past two games. And he, too, has a special place in his heart for Errinundera.

“There’s nowhere else quite like it. I’d love to go back there one day.”

In the meantime, people in Ariddia have already begun celebrating their country’s qualification for the semi-finals… an achievement almost as spectacular, in their eyes, as winning the World Cup.

GRAHAM CITY SUN - World Cup Coverage

Galaxy Pull Out Clutch Victory to Equal Best Ever Performance

Konigseifert - The Galaxy, in an effort not seen since World Cup 12 were the then Stars duplicated the performance so far, have reached the semi-finals of the World Cup after a heart-wrenching game against Cuation when the goal to send it to extra time was scored with only two minutes of extra time remaining. The mood in the team is one of pure and utter ecstasy. After so many years of suffering with significant underachievements and a seemingly disunited front unable to pull it together against teams that the Galaxy/Stars should beat, the squad has put together an amazing run that even if it ends without another win, the team can take pride in the accomplishment of reaching the semi finals, a feat only achieved once before, when most of these players weren't even alive.

Manager Casey Dellet, who is retiring from management after the end of this cup, said that this was a going away present that he would never forget. "The boys have been so good to me. They came willing to learn and to change their ways to succeed. I may get credit for the work done here, but the boys are simply outstanding. They are on the practice pitch day in and day out so that we can succeed, and have we ever." Chairman of the FFLC, Daniel Davies, also shared the enthusiasm. "No one predicted we'd even get by Bedistan, but we've done it. I believe that we can win the World Cup, and even if we don't, this will be a run to remember."

Now however, remains the one team the Galaxy have not defeated in the Cup proper, Jeruselem. Also a rather unexpected semi-finalist, they will be a tough team to play against, and not just because of raging horomones. They are a skilled team with the ability to strike anywhere from any section of the pitch. Their defenders have also been as solid as the pair of Jurgensen and Doninho, and despite missing starter James Mackingley for the rest of the Cup following his three-match international ban for his two-footed tackle, they have more than enough support from the midfield and forwards to defend against any attack that comes from the Crusader offence. It will definitely be a tough but winable match for the Galaxy, who have much of the momentum and grassroots support. It's difficult to find a supporter of a fallen team not at least sympathetic towards the Galaxy and their trek to win their first ever World Cup.

As for the other semi-final another team on it's last legs is Krytenia, whose FA has already announced this will be the last entrance for the nation is some while. They beat death-rivals Starblaydia in the first round marking the second straight cup in which the Purple Peril has failed to advance past Krytenia. Their squad will be looking to succeed where Bedistan has failed, and go out with a glorious cup win. Ariddia on the other hand, is an old (ancient really) nation returning from the grave to haunt the youngbloods, and boy do they ever. Together with a fierce attack and a steady and strong midfield, they will most definitely be a threat to Krytenia and whomever they play next.

So our predictions? Well, in predictably unbiased form, We have the Clans advancing past both Jeruselem and Ariddia to win their FIRST WORLD CUP EVER!

[OOC - as a former resident of southern Belgium now resident in Melbourne, I believe I can help Ariddia with his little Australian fauna problem.... And yes, Ari, I speak French with a Belgian accent. You may collapse in a fit of giggles now]

[
‘White, Green and Browns’ would be ‘Blanc, Vert et Bruns’ in French. ‘Longfoots’ would be… ‘long-pieds’? ‘Potoroos’… I have no idea,” she admitted with a laugh. “We call them ‘Les Potorous’.”

Moi je sais ca!

En Francais, le 'long-footed potoroo' est le 'potoroo long-aux pieds'. Le 'Gilberts potoroo' est le 'potoroo de Gilberts'.

Et le 'northern hairy-nosed wombat' est le 'wombat velu-flairé nordique'.

Pere Alexandre le Belge

[OOC - as a former resident of southern Belgium now resident in Melbourne, I believe I can help Ariddia with his little Australian fauna problem.... And yes, Ari, I speak French with a Belgian accent. You may collapse in a fit of giggles now]


OOC:
Thank you. An Australian speaking French with a Belgian accent?

*collapses in a fit of giggles*

Hmmm... Un 'wombat velu-flairé nordique'. Strange word, but rather poetic.

Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke...

This is the mantra being chanted by the Sky Blue Army.

Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke...

Three semi-finals, three defeats.

Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke...

Starblaydia downed, the world champions taken out, and still...

Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke...

...still the fear is there. The fans have seen it before.

Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke...

On an ordinary day, Ariddia would be a challenging match, but one where they are filled with confidence.

Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke...

Tonight, though, all they can do is pray.

Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke, don't choke...

Will they choke? Can they reach the final? Stay tuned to find out!

KRYTENIA
V
ARIDDIA
Tonight, 7:30, KBS1

World Cup Semifinal Cutoff

Milchama Semifinal Match (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12254261&postcount=36)
Geisenfried Semifinal Match (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12254229&postcount=35)

OOC: Can I join as the referee for the World Cup Final??

An referee from the kingdom of Ahaggar, an tall man, but has bald head and looked a little older like Pierluigi Collina, resting in then room waiting for the final to come so he can ref his first match...

"Wow, my first match..." said Pierluigi

OOC:
Thank you. An Australian speaking French with a Belgian accent?

*collapses in a fit of giggles*



OOC - actually, a half-English/half-Scottish former resident of the UK, Belgium, Iceland, and the USA (but UK citizen - though his brother is a US citizen), currently living in Australia - with his Russian wife - and speaking French with a Belgian accent.

But you're welcome - et bonne chance contre Jerusalem.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled World Cup final RP'ing

Ricky Pointy Stick holding out a passed out Dazza Dallas in his arms.

Ricky:
Hi, I'm Ricky Pointy Stick at the World Cup 32. It's semi-final stage and it's time to decide the finalists. This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE on Jeruselem Government News. This little sleeping beauty is Dazza Dallas, she's passed out from over-excitement.

Tunk: Hey Ricky, want me and keep her up?
Ricky: Sure thing. Thanks Tunk.

<Tunk picks up Dazza>

Ricky:
Today Jeruselem played The Lowland Clans in the semi-final while Arridia took on Krytenia. Firstly, Arridia's mighty sea dragons roared into life make their first final ever - beating the veteran Krytenia who are doing a Bedistan. Well done Arridia! And bad luck to Krytenia. And now who faces them - Jeruselem or the Clans?

<Dazza wakes up>

Dazza: Hi everyone, hi Tunk, hi Ricky ... woah what happened?
Ricky: You passed out Dazza. Tell the viewers what happened.
Dazza: Jeruselem have made a WORLD CUP FINAL
Ricky: That's it - we beat The Lowland Clans.

Dazza: And we beat them in a way, that does not happen too.
Ricky: The scores were tied 2 ALL and we actually won a penalty shootout.
Dazza: No, this is not the fantasy version of THE FOOTBALL LIFE. This is real life.
Ricky: Jeruselem are in the final, all the Crusaders must do is slay the dragons from Arridia like Saint George.

Dazza: Oh yes, Kate Bush has lead the team into a World Cup final. This is the greatest achievement ever for any Jeruselem team. Forget the three Women's World cups or those under 21 cups - this is the Holy Grail. Our knights are nearly there, the dragon stands in the way.
Ricky: All game the Clans and Jeruselem played hard but fair football. Tempers flaired, players threw everything into the game, referees got tested, fans had heart attacks and both teams entertained.
Dazza: Both teams deserved the win and both committed to the last minutes. No one wanted not to play or opt out. Players who got subbed got really upset, that's how serious things got.

Ricky: We aren't going to spoil thing by telling you what happened. We want everyone to watch this and other semifinal, and then see what happened. Those Jeruselem fans who watch Jeruselem during a shoot-out, if you have weak heart ... don't watch. We did this one, so you might die from joy.
Dazza: I hate penalty shoot-outs ... urk, but we won this one.
Ricky: People, hold the parties. If we win this one - it's going to be a bigger party.
Dazza: And if I'm there, well I might get totally drunk and make fool of myself.

Ricky: You might see Dazza jumping around - and passing out in some TV footage.
Dazza: And I probably we got too excited.
Ricky: You can't blame Dazza for that
Dazza: And I probably need to change my underwear too, after that. Didn't mean to say that, hehe.

Ricky: So, everyone - watch the semi-finals and then watch the final live. We don't who provides the coverage but stay up with the kids, grandparents and all your friends. This is the biggest game - EVER.
Dazza: And if you're still awake, watch the 3rd placed game between Krytenia and the Lowland Clans.
Ricky: Because, this might not happen again.
Dazza: Sadly, this is my last world cup so I cannot help the team now. But Kate Bush has done the best substitute job ever. Think about it - her first captaincy and she's in the world cup final.

Ricky: She's going get something special?
Dazza: She and her man - I'm giving them each of my Ferraris.
Ricky: Now, that's generous.
Dazza: I've got a lot of cars - losing two is not an issue. She needs a new car - so one each for the couple.

Ricky: What about the rest of the team.
Dazza: Big party at my place. All my expense - kids and family must come.
Ricky: You do nothing in halves do you.
Dazza: Nope.

Ricky: OK, it's game on. Jeruselem vs Arridia!
Dazza: Both World Cup finals virgins!
Ricky: Good one Dazza
Dazza: Whoever wins, they deserve it to win.

Ricky: Well, that's it from us.
Dazza: Don't miss the final. Jeruselem are THERE

Ariddia [3-2] Krytenia
The Lowland Clans [2] Jeruselem [2] Jeruselem advances (4-5) on penalty kicks.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 3-2 Krytenia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/krytenia.png

”Wait… This isn’t supposed to happen!”

Watch ( http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1856/pinawc32ao7.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

Nation-wide celebrations are underway, and will probably go on all through the night, as they did after Ariddia had qualified for the semi-finals. History has been made today by the Rouge-et-Noirs, as, for the first time EVER, the World Cup founders have reached the World Cup final.

“It really hasn’t sunk in yet,” one wildly excited fan said. “I mean, we were watching the match, hoping, hoping… But now we’re actually in the final! Wow! On est en finale!”

For the players themselves, too, it was something very new.

“We’re still trying to get used to it,” attacker Dave Rider explained. “But as soon as this sinks in, we’ll have to start focusing hard on winning the final, not just being there.”

The match itself was exactly as a semi-final should be: a close call, with the result uncertain until the very end. Krytenia are officially the second best team in the world (Ariddia are 9th), but Ariddians all had in mind the fact that these two teams had met earlier in the competition. In the final Group C match, the Rouge-et-Noirs had defeated the Aces 3-2, and advanced to the next round. Now, they met again.

Josh Quinnell scored the first goal of the match, for Krytenia, in the 33rd minute, causing a gasp of dismay from Ariddian supporters. Krytenian players celebrated briefly, then it was back to the game, which was far from over. Najmah Majrashi equalised for Ariddia in the thirty-eighth, then Hanifah Kyaw took her side into the lead in the forty-fourth… putting Ariddia in a leading position by half-time.

It was, perhaps, a psychological advantage, as Ariddian supporters in the stadium looked slightly less worried and tense than their Krytenian counterparts during the fifteen minute break.

The beginning of the second half consisted mainly in missed opportunities for both sides, until, in the sixty-fourth minute, Dave Rider’s forward thrust into Krytenian territory was thwarted by the defence, and he passed back to Tadjou Senaya. Likewise unable to move forward, Senaya passed back quickly to Ariddian defender Ke Sho. Sho, finding himself with a clear path ahead, forged on. A couple more passes between him and Senaya left the young Indigenous defender suddenly facing Barradez’s goalcage, and he shot before he could doubt himself.

Ariddian supporters stood and cheered as the ball sailed in, making the score 3-1.

Ke Sho himself looked startled, even shocked, and stood still with a dazed expression on his face until his team mates piled over him, hugging him.

After that, Krytenia was forced to play catch-up in the remaining half hour. A goal by Dermot Gygax put the Aces firmly back into the game with a chance of winning it, and the outcome remained uncertain until the whistle finally blew… and Ariddians were free to express their joy. Players from the bench ran onto the field, while supporters in the stadium spontaneously burst into a rendering of “Dream”, the national anthem ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddia#National_Anthem).

Meanwhile, Jerusalem squeezed through against the Lowland Clans on penalty kicks. Both teams will be in the final for the first time ever, bringing a bit of freshness to a World Cup often dominated by regular finalists.

Jeruselem and Ariddia are hardly strangers to each other, of course. In recent years they have met five times, resulting in two victories for Ariddia and three for Jeruselem. One of the Rouge-et-Noirs’ worst defeats on record was a 0-5 thrashing at the hands of Jeruselem during the 3rd Draggonnii Cup.

But for now, it’s time to savour victory for a short while.

“This is a very special day,” team captain Hanifah Kyaw said, looking quite moved. The final will probably be her last ever international match. And what a last match it will be!

A Little Bit of History Repeating?

Kinda of an odd headline, especially for a nation whose team got knocked out ages ago, but for very good reason as this World Cup has thrown up a bit of a deju vu moment.

WORLD CUP 31 - after finishing second in their group, Bettia get knocked out in the second round, losing on penalties to a team playing in red who then went on to win the final.

WORLD CUP 32 - after finishing second in their group, Bettia get knocked out in the second round, losing on penalties to a team playing in red who then went on to win the final???

So will this final be a case of history repeating? It's fair to say there'll be plenty of Ariddians who hope so.

Jeruselem Government News

Government makes party of Jeruselem world cup appearance!

Today, the Jeruselem government is making a pledge to ensure all people in Jeruselem apart from those sitting in the middile of desert, gets access to the live coverage of Jeruselem's World Cup finals appearance. Those without access to TV or the Internet streaming system can go into the city and watch on big screens the entire game - and the celebrations afterward.

Rachel Kool will host a special World Cup 32 Finals show with all the action from the game and commentators including ex-players and ex-coaches. These will include Debbie Dazzas, John Jerk, Harry Kool, Holly Cambridge, Keanu Reeves, the sports minister and even Dazza's mum. Before the live game, they will review all the games from the group stage to the semi-final for both teams.

Live crosses to Ricky Pointy Stick and the ex-Captain Dazza will feature too as the biggest moment in Jeruselem football is at hand. Already, big parties all over Jeruselem are being planned - and the nation will be watching Kate Bush lead the team into history.

We invite all Arridians in Jeruselem to make sure they get access too. Jeruselem vs Arridia - surely the most anticipated World Cup final with two "virgins" attempting to win the Holy Grail of football. No one expected both teams to get so far, but only one can win.

TV providers will be allowed to temporarily boost transmission power for the game to ensure all cities have coverage. Moves are being made to ensure Internet streaming servers have the bandwidth to handle the expected demand too. Satellites have been programmed to give priority to this big event. Those who can't get into town or find a TV, will get live radio coverage - but they miss out on the images. Employers have been told not crack down on people not turning up to work because they might miss the final, employers should hire a big TV and let the employees watch. After all, it's national pride on the line here. Here at JGN our work is football, and only football people work here. It's where our money comes from and surely, this is the big event which is going to make the money ploughed into the game worthwhile.

The many billions poured into football have worked. Jeruselem are no longer that team who make 2nd round and crash. Making the final should stop the critics.

The World Cup 32 Final - at 6:00 PM.

News item from the First Creek Falls (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/First_Creek_Falls) Age

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/Agemasthead.gif

ENORMOUS INTEREST IN WORLD CUP FINAL

All over Errinundera fans are preparing champagne and Snowy River mud cake for the early morning start to the World Cup 32 final between Ariddia and Jeruselem. Pundits aren't expecting a repeat of the second round match between Errinundera and Jeruselem when 2 billion watched the game on giant screens set up in public places all over the nation. Nevertheless they are predicting over a billion to be ready for the 5:00 am kick off.

“Both teams are extremely popular in Errinundera,” says ermainegree, president of the Errinundera Football Association. “Several Ariddians have studied at the National Football Academy in Ellery Camp. In particular, Xavier Xu and Ke Sho have both starred in the back half for the Rouge et Noirs. And don’t forget John Cohen or their 3rd goalkeeper, Cassie Lee, who is adored all over Errinundera ever since she won our hearts when she studied here. As well, two members of our World Cup 32 squad, lyseup and owiavi, attended the University of Rêvane in Ariddia.”

ermainegree is also effusive about the Crusaders. “rippersticku and tunkerhunker have huge fan clubs here in Errinundera, especially among the genderqueer population. There will be tremendous support for both teams at the public screenings. I suspect, however, that the majority will be barracking for the Rouge et Noirs, probably because our two nations have such an affinity.”

Angelic genderqueer captain of the potoroos, rosaniel, has played against both sides and gave us her insight into the match. “Actually its been a few years since I played against Ariddia in a friendly. That aside, I can definitely say that the Crusaders were far and away the best side we played during the World Cup 32 campaign. On that basis I would slightly favour them. I’ll be barracking for Ariddia, though.”

Pierluigi watches as he dressed, still waiting for the final to begin tonight, "Well, I'm ready to show yellow or red cards" said Pierluigi as he practiced showing the yellow and red cards to the mirror...

Dazza Dallas with a camera, and Ricky Pointy Stick and Tunk.

Dazza: You two ready?
Ricky: Ready
Tunk: Ready captain.
Dazza: Say "Obese"

<Dazza takes photos of the two in smart trendy gear>

Dazza: All done!
Ricky: Err, what's the photos for Dazza?
Dazza: The fans in Errinundera.
Ricky: Oh those fans

Tunk: Oh well, we can't exactly choose our fans.
Dazza: Oh yes, promotional photos of rippersticku and tunkerhunker for the fans Errinundera.
Ricky: At least I'm doing my part to get ratings up in that nation
Tunk: My wife finds all this amusing. Gay people do like big strong men or studs like Ricky here.

Dazza: We have to do all we can to get everyone watching Guys
Ricky: Can I see the photos?
Dazza: Sure thing

<The three review the digital camera photos>

Tunk: You do great photos Dazza.
Ricky: Yeah, all mine are blurry and off-colour
Dazza: Practice guys.

<Kate Bush passes by>

Dazza: Guys, grab Kate!

<Kate gets dragged to Dazza>

Kate: What's going on?
Dazza: Just a few photos Kate.
Kate: Clothed I hope!
Dazza: Yes, clothed.

Kate: That's alright then
Tunk: Dazza and Monique are only ones who like being naked on camera
Ricky: I dunno, my wife did a few sessions too
Dazza: Well, let's do these photos Kate

<Dazza takes a few more photos>

Dazza: All done. You can all go now.
Kate: Nice photos - how do you learn all that?
Dazza: Just you just have to practice.
Kate: Err, it is true you are master upskirt camera expert?

Dazza: (smiles)
Kate: That's yes then
Ricky: She practices on herself
Tunk: Dazza is the master pervert

<Dazza makes copy of SD card>

Dazza (to Errinundera folks): Here's the photos you wanted. rippersticku and tunkerhunker!

World Cup Final RP Cutoff

World Cup Final Score (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12262622&postcount=37)

The final whistle blew as Arridia was leading 2 - 1 against the Jeruselem team. The Arridians celebrated as the Jeruselem just were not happy with themselves - one game from winning the Holy Grail of football and they had just failed. They just looked at the skies and wondered at could have been. They left the Arridians to their celebrations.

Dazza didn't take the loss so well as she broke down in hysterics. Ricky Pointy Stick had to sit her down and rest her on her shoulder to get back to some state of sanity. She had done this before in another game. Dazza coped well when she lost game and played but when she was not playing - she did not. Dazza did give one massive screech which almost drowned out the entire stadium like a Banshee.

Ricky Pointy Stick and Rashina Dallas had to complete THE FOOTBALL LIFE with Dazza unable front up after the loss. Most of the Jeruselem team had to console Dazza since it wasn't her fault they didn't win - Dazza was the original team captain and blamed herself not being there for the team.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 2-1 Jeruselem http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png

A hundred and twenty-four years later… World Champions!

Watch ( http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1856/pinawc32ao7.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

It was over twelve decades ago that Terry Singh, Michel Boulanger and others took part in the inaugural World Cup, in Ariddia. Ever since, the Rouge-et-Noirs have been striving towards winning the Cup their country founded, but until today it had always eluded them. For generations, Ariddia’s victory in the match for the third place in World Cup 10 remained the nation’s oft referred to crowning glory.

But today, the entire country was holding its breath as the Rouge-et-Noirs took part in their first ever World Cup final. It was a historic day, and they were hoping for an even more historic outcome.

Xu, Mataitai, La, Sho, Kyaw, Teh, Senaya, al Safi, Simon, Rider and Majrashi were smiling as they stood, arms linked, and sang to the tune of the national anthem before the start of the match. Black, red and green flags were waved merrily by spectators. Then, the players gave viewers around the world what they were waiting for: the ulek performed at the start of a World Cup final.

Young star defender Ke Sho was seen exhaling and closing his eyes briefly to focus as he took his position on the field. In the goalcage, Xavier Xu gazed out seriously on the rest of the playing field.

The first half of the match, although it often had spectators on the edges of their seats with narrowly missed opportunities, ended goalless. Ariddia’s defence looked solid, and Xu was at his best. It was up to Ariddia’s attackers and midfielders to start scoring, and there were whispers amongst the crowd that the match might well be heading towards another penalty shoot-out.

That changed when Sammie Smith broke the deadlock in the fifty-seventh minute, scoring for Jeruselem and sparking thunderous cheers from her supporters. Ariddian fans began to look a little uncomfortable, glancing at the time as the minutes tumbled away.

Then, in the sixty-sixth minute, Tadjou Senaya ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tadjou_Sheyi_Senaya) equalised, a well-aimed shot skimming in right past the bar, and it was back to square one. Supporters of both sides chanted and loudly encouraged their team.

The cheering increased when Hanifah Kyaw ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Hanifah_Kyaw), the omnipresent Ariddian captain, slammed another ball into the net in the eightieth minute, finally putting her country into the lead. The final ten minutes were extremely tense for supporters, until the whistle was blown at last and an entire nation erupted into shouts of joy.

For the first time in history, Ariddia had won the World Cup!

It was obviously going to be all night partying throughout Ariddia, and for expatriate Ariddians around the world. In the meantime, the Rouge-et-Noirs congratulated their opponents on a match well-played, and hugged one another, enjoying the amazing feeling of being World Champions. Dave Rider picked up Cassie Lee and spun her around, both of them laughing. It was quite a while before the players had calmed down enough to actually go and lift the Cup they had won. Hanifah Kyaw hoisted it up, her face beaming with joy, and passed it round before she herself was carried up by her team mates and paraded, grinning, around the field. The atmosphere in the stadium was overflowing with excitement.

Later, Ariddia’s head of State, Prime Secretary Nuriyah Khadhim ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Nuriyah_bint_Rashad_Khadhim), publicly congratulated the team, and Thomas East, Assistant Secretary for Sport, announced that all forty-six players of both teams, their coaches and other personnel would receive the Order of Merit of the Social Republic for achievements in the field of sport. This will allow each of them to add the title ‘sir’ or ‘lady’ to their name. The University of Rêvane chimed in by granting each a honourary degree in physical education and sports.

As things began to quiet, Kyaw was seen slipping off to find and talk to the Jeruselem players, and say a few kind words to comfort Dazza Dallas.

Ariddians now have all the time in the world to celebrate being World Champions. And in four years, there will be many new faces as they return to the competition once again…

Jeruselem Government News

One cup and three retiring captains!

It's not often you have a World Cup final with 3 captains. Sure Kate Bush is the Jeruselem captain and Hanifah Kyaw, the winning Arridian captain. I hate finals in one way - there's only one winner who will be remembered. People will remember the Arridian team lead by Hanifah Kyaw in probably her final World Cup. Most will probably not remember Kate Bush lead her team to final and Kate Bush herself played her last World Cup game. Somehow it's more likely it will be remembered Dazza Dallas was replaced than Kate Bush taking over.

So that's two captains - the third being poor old Dazza Dallas who probably could have played but due to legal reasons could not. She was the Captain and it was so touching she was included one of the many Jeruselem players who were awarded by the nice Arridians. Dazza has not retired but this will also be her last World Cup ever too.

She didn't take the loss to well, but that's what normally happens with her. She maybe the nicest person but she's not pushover either. She hates losing - and losing is not habit she likes.

So it's an odd World Cup final - 3 captains. All nice people and all deserve a good word for what they have done. We will miss them all in the next World Cup.

Lady Dazza Dallas? Bizarre isn't it.

Joe Finkestein
JGN Sports Reporter

News items from Deddick’s (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Deddick) major daily:

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/lemonde.png

VIVA L’ARIDDIA

Deddick’s expatriate Ariddian community is still celebrating after their gallant team came from behind to win the final of World Cup 32. Centre of the celebrations, and wild scenes as the referee blew the final whistle, was the Town Hall where the Mayor, oanofar, led proceedings. Guests of honour were the Ariddian ambassador to Errinundera, Audrey Melei, and local potoroo star and goalkeeper, owiavi, who studied in Rêvane. Despite the very early start (kick off was 5:30 am) all present were wide awake and anxious for the game to start.

Prior to the game, Ms Melei won the hearts of locals when she declared how at home she always felt in the Francophile city of Deddick. “All over the city I see three tricolours: the black, red and green of Ariddia, the brown, white and green of Errinundera, and the red, white and blue of this wonderful city.”

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/Flag/Flag-DeddickFr.jpg
Deddick’s municipal flag, displaying the district’s famous sorrel.

owiavi gave a speech in rather quaint French, to say the least. The gist of it was that Jeruselem and Ariddia were worthy finalists. “Jeruselem were ‘terriblé’. They put us out of the Cup,” he declared. “I hope you can make amends on our behalf.” The ambassador smiled at his use and pronunciation of ‘terriblé’.

Breakfast was served – the national dish, sorrel soup, of course – before those present assembled in the main hall to watch the P.I.N.A. broadcast of the match, (with French commentary, naturally). When the second Ariddian goal slammed into the back of the net chanting of “Rouge et Noir, Rouge et Noir” started up in the hall. Even the ambassador was seen to join in.

In the celebrations that followed the final whistle, much damage was done to the Town Hall, including 3 broken chandeliers, many smashed chairs, champagne poured all over the projector and a painting by the Second Monkeytop School master, picarrundji, suffering a 12cm gash. Although not responsible for the damage a somewhat dishevelled Audrey Melei left the town hall singing the Ariddian national anthem, “Dream”, with her reputation very much enhanced in the eyes of the locals.

Outside the hall, giant banners of the popular Jeruselem stars rippersticku, tunkerhunker and bushykate fluttered forlornly in the breeze. The corresponding Ariddian portraits had already been stolen as souvenirs.

TO THOSE TO WHOM THESE DIVERS MESSAGES AND PRESENTS ARE ADDRESSED, WE BRING YOU GREETINGS

Whereas it has come to the attention of His Imperial Majesty, the Basileus of the Holy Empire, that the respected and honoured nation of Arridia, a nation which the Basileus and many Imperial citizens remember most fondly from those early years of Imperial participation in the World Cup, has won the final of the Nationstates World Cup, a tournament which the aforementioned respected and honoured nation of Arridia indeed founded, let it henceforth be known that His Imperial Majesty wishes most sincere congratulations upon the Arridian national football team, and indeed all Arridians.

His Imperial Majesty furthermore wishes to present to the Arridian starting XI this gem-encrusted parchment in celebration of the Arridian victory:

Xu
Mataitai
La
Sho
Kyaw
Teh
Senaya
al Safi
Simon
Rider
Majrashi

Signed this day by His Majesty's Keeper of the Purple Inkwell on behalf of His Majesty

A new day

Ariddians in Ariddia and elsewhere woke up this morning to a day not quite like all the others. There were smiles, a relaxed and cheerful attitude as people went to work and went about their day's business. Already some are suggesting there will be an increase in birth rates in nine months time, and few Ariddians got a full night's sleep last night. Partying went on, from major cities to the smallest rural and forest communities, into the early hours.

For some of Ariddia's players, today was the first day after the end of their international career. Tadjou Senaya says he is considering what job to take up now, while Hanifah Kyaw has said she intends to work at her local library. In a country without money, where everyone contributes to everyone else's well-being, and where work is rarely considered tedious, former footballers do not retire; they merely choose a career change. At the age of just 36, Kyaw will be active in her community for a long while yet to come.

Meanwhile, the media have reported on a magnificent gift from the Basileus of the Holy Empire of Alasdair I Frosticus, complete with His Majesty's personal congratulations. The beautifully intricate gem-encrusted parchment, a gift to the Rouge-et-Noirs' starting XI, has been entrusted by those eleven to the headquarters of the Ariddian Football Association, where it can be admired by football supporters and scholars of Frostican art alike. It will soon be transfered to one of Ariddia's many museums, to be displayed in public, with careful consideration being taken as to its preservation and protection.